Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“How long?”

I shook my head, confused by the question. “W-What?”

I was in my room in Branch’s bunker that he built for us. Branch wanted us to stay. I decided to stay, and so did John Dory. Clay is too, after Viva said she was moving here to be with Poppy and their dad. Spruce Bruce is here until I get better…. If I get better. It’s been five days since I was…. Freed from those…. People that kidnapped me... I’m still so weak… I can barely stand without nearly falling over, I…. I don’t know if I can get better.

“Floyd…” Bruce looked at me compassionately. “How long were you in that diamond prison?” The question took me off guard, I felt a tightening in my chest, my arms starting to shake.

No, no, no, no, no…... I can’t go back there again…... I can’t go back there again!

“Floyd, hey...” A hand took mine; I looked up at my older brother, still shaking. “I’m right here. Nobody’s going to hurt you again.”

I shook, tears filling my eyes, looking down.

I didn’t want to remember! I… I’m finally free from that hellish prison, but….. Why can’t I forget?

“I……. I….”

Why can’t I give an answer?? What the hell is wrong with me?

“Okay….” I looked up, he was smiling. “That’s okay. You just think, okay?”

Bruce…. The compassion he shares, I…. I haven’t seen such compassion in years…

“Bruce, I-I…… I don’t…. I don’t know how long I was there, i-it….” More tears filled my eyes. “It was such a long and endless time, my…. My life being sucked out of me… My life being torn out of my body….” I shook, looking down at my hands, which were shaking. “I….. I don’t know….”

“Floyd….” I saw a glimpse of sadness and…... Sympathy? No…. It…. It looked like pity…. “Bud…. Can I hug you?”

I wrapped my arms around myself, curling up into a ball on my bed, my fragile legs trembling, slowly nodding.

When’s the last time I even had a hug? I…. I don’t remember….

My brothers’ arms wrapped around me, I closed my eyes, feeling safe and secure. I didn’t feel trapped, I felt… Safe. And warm…. Like nobody could hurt me…...

“I had a dream.

I got everything I wanted.

But when I wake up, I see.

You with me.

And you say,

"As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you.

Don't wanna lie here, but you can learn to

If I could change the way that you see yourself

You wouldn't wonder why you hear,

'They don't deserve you…...'"

Tears spilled down my cheeks, choking back a sob as I buried my head in Bruce’s chest.

“Shhh…...” He rubbed my back soothingly with his tail. “It’s okay…. Big brother’s here, don’t worry….”

“I-I never wanted this! I was so scared, I…. Bruce, I….” I trembled in his arms. “I thought I was going to die….”

“I know, little one…. I know….” I looked up at him a little in surprise.

“Little one?” I managed to squeak out.

“Yeah…. I remember when you were younger, I used to call you that all the time.” He runs his tail down my back, an attempt to calm me. “Before Branch was born, you were the baby of the family. You were so cute, too!” He laughed, running his fingers through my hair. “Your cute little pink hair and your magenta eyes. You had JD, Clay and I wrapped around your little finger.”

I remember…...

“I was safe back then….”

“Hey….” Bruce lifted my head up with his hand so that I was looking at him. “You’re safe now. Nobody can hurt you, so long as we’re here to protect you, little one.”

“Physically…… They can’t hurt me physically…... But in the end…. I have long-lasting damage…” I sobbed, looking up at Bruce. “What if…... I never recover?”

“You will, little one.” He moved my hair out of my eyes. “I’ll make sure of it. Your brothers will make sure of it. You’ll be alright.”

“We don’t know that…...”

Face it…. I’ll never recover…. I can barely walk without falling over… I’m just a burden….

“Floyd?” A new voice caught my attention, looking over, Branch was at the entrance to my room. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…. I’m fine, don’t worry.” I faked a smile; I knew he wasn’t buying it.

Fine…. I use that word often…... And Branch always says—

“That’s not an appropriate response and you know it.”

My ears drooped more than usual at that response… I knew he was right.

“Hey,” Branch sat next to me and Spruce, laying a gentle hand on my shoulder. “I just want to help you. That’s why ‘I’m fine’ is not an appropriate response for your recovery.” I flinched at the word recovery. That word seemed to follow me around a lot lately….

“He’s right, Floyd… Tell us, how are you really doing?” Bruce piped in and I sighed, more tears falling down my face.

“I..... I…... I’m… Not okay…...” I admitted quietly. “I’m…. I feel like…. I can’t escape…. Like…. Ill never be truly free…”

“Hey…. Its okay…” Branch wiped the tears away from my eyes. “That’s why we’re here. To help you, big brother.”

To…. To help me?... Why?

“Why…… Why do you wanna help me?”

“Because we’re your brothers and we love you.” Bruce smiled kindly at me. “And we don’t want you to suffer alone.”

“……. You don’t?”

“No. You don’t deserve that, little one. Not at all.” Bruce ran his fingers through my hair to soothe my nerves.

“Bruce is right. You’re our brother and we love you. We’d do anything to help you.”

“…. Thank you…” I sniffed, sobbing quietly into Bruce’s chest.

They care…. They really do care…...

“Are you okay now?” Bruce asked, still running his fingers through my hair.

I nodded slowly. “Yeah… I’m okay… Thank you… Both of you.”

“Hey, we got you, brother.” Branch smiled. “Do you want your alone time?”

“Yeah… If you don’t mind.” I murmured.

“Hey, don’t worry, little one,” Bruce ruffled my hair. “just call us if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay….” With that, Bruce and Branch left, and I was alone…

I really am messed up mentally… God…. And physically, it hurts to even walk….

I sighed, sitting up slowly, my arms shaking.

Okay…. You got this….

Slowly, I managed to stand up, my legs wobbling, the pressure burning, causing me to wince in pain.

“Shit…..” I whispered to myself.

Did those kids really fuck me up so bad that I can barely stand?

“Okay…. You can do this….” Shakily, I tried to take a few steps. My brothers had been supporting my weight so I can at least move around, but… I haven’t been able to take steps by myself.

Before I knew what was happening, I tripped. I didn’t fall, I caught myself on my dresser. Trembling, I looked up in the mirror, noticing my hair.

My…... My hair…. What.... It…... It’s white???

I covered my mouth, tears immediately pouring down my face, my heart starting to pound in my chest as I found myself struggling to breathe….

No… No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! my legs and arms were bad enough, but… My hair? Not my hair! Anything but my hair!

I suddenly couldn’t breathe, I fell to the floor, covering my eyes and shaking.

“Your talent makes us sound beautiful! And we’re famous now, so…. We could do this for years. Or until you die. Whichever one comes first.”

“No, no, no, no….” HER voice rang inside my head. “Leave me alone…. Leave me alone…...”

“…yd? …re…. ay?” I heard someone…. But I didn’t know who it was… “…yd?”

I shook, too scared to uncover my eyes or even move.

“M..n..ia?” A hand touched my shoulder, I jumped at the sudden contact, quickly scooching as fast as I could into a corner, then and there seeing that it was Clay. “Hey, hey… It’s okay.”

I breathed heavily, my anxiety taking full effect as I shook even more.

“Hey, it’s okay, Magnolia...” Clay used his special nickname for me that he knew that I loved, slowly sitting down across from me. “Hey… Can you tell me 3 things you can see?”

3 things I can see….

I looked at Clay, still breathing heavily and shaking. “Y-You…”

“Okay. That’s good. What else?”

I looked around the room, seeing the bulletin board that I put up, I had already started to take pictures of me and our brothers. “M-My…. My bulletin board…”

“Yeah… That’s good. You’ve taken some good pictures so far.” I cracked a slight smile at that. “One more thing.”

I looked around once again, my eyes looking at my camera. It had been Dad’s…. He gave it to me years ago. “Dad’s old camera…”

“Good. You love that camera, don’t you?” I nodded at the question. “Okay. Now, can you tell me 3 things you can feel?”

“….. The floor…...” I stated, obviously. “My…. My arms shaking…. A-And…. My…. My chest….”

“Good. Now, take in a breath and slowly let it out three times, okay?”

Still shaking, I nodded, taking a deep breath before letting it out slowly. That helped a little, so I did it two more times. I looked at Clay, a small smile on his face.

“You feel better?” I nodded slowly at the question. “Would you like a hug?”

“Y-Yes…. Please….” Clay moved closer, wrapping his arms around me as we hugged.

“There you go, little brother….” He rubbed my back gently. “You’re okay…” I sobbed quietly into his chest, glad that the worst of my attack was over. “Do you want to tell me what happened?

“C-Clay….” I whispered, moving away slightly. “Why…... Why did nobody tell me about my hair?”

Clay’s gaze softened… Not pity…. But compassion. “Oh, Magnolia….” He hugged me again, this time a little tighter. “I’m so sorry…. You have been through so much, we wanted you to get your legs in better shape so you could move around better before we got to the subject of your hair. We never meant to keep it from you, we just wanted to focus on bigger things.”

They… Didn’t tell me… Because they wanted to help me….

“I…. I saw myself in the mirror…. I tried to walk; I nearly fell…. I looked up a-and…” I traced my hand over the white of my hair. “I saw it…. I….” More tears filled my eyes as I sobbed. “I hate it!”

“Shhh….” Clay brought me close again, running his tail down my back to calm me down. “I know, little brother… I know…”

“I don’t understand! What did I do?? W-Why did they want to hurt me?!” I sobbed into Clay’s chest, him holding me close.

“I don’t know… I don’t know, little brother, but hey…” He gently has me look at him. “You have us… And you’re safe now. That’s all that matters, right?”

“…… I could’ve died there….” I whispered quietly. “And… For awhile….. I…. I think I wanted to….”

He didn’t respond right away this time….

Fuck….

“Floyd… You…. You don’t mean that, do you?” I looked up at him, he had tears in his own eyes, causing me to cry more.

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you sad…” I sobbed, Clay immediately holding me tighter, rubbing the back of my head.

“Shhh, shhh… Its okay…. It’s alright, I got you… I got you, little brother…” He shushed me quietly. “Hey… Is it okay if I sing to you?”

I nodded at his question. My brothers singing to me… Always brought me this sense of relief… Like I was safe. And nobody could hurt me.

“When we were young, we were the ones,

the kings and queens oh yeah, we ruled the world.

We smoked cigarettes, man, no regrets.

Wish I could relive every single word.

We've taken different paths,

and travelled different roads.

I know we'll always end up on the same one when we're old,

and when you're in the trenches.

And you're under fire I will cover you…

If I was dying on my knees,

you would be the one to rescue me.

And if you were drowned at sea,

I'd give you my lungs so you could breathe.

I've got you brother-er-er-er

I've got you brother-er-er-er

I've got you brother-er-er-er

I've got you brother-er-er-er”

Calming down more, I leaned into Clay, laying on his shoulder and closing my eyes as he kept singing.

“Oh brother, we'll go deeper than the ink,

Beneath the skin of our tattoos.

I love we share the same blood,

You're my brother and I love you, that's the truth.

We're living different lives,

Heaven only knows.

If we'll make it back with all our fingers and our toes.

Five years, twenty years, come back.

It will always be the same.

If I was dying on my knees,

you would be the one to rescue me.

And if you were drowned at sea,

I'd give you my lungs so you could breathe.

I've got you brother-er-er-er

I've got you brother-er-er-er”

I felt myself being moved, Clay having picked me up and laying me in my bed, gently tucking me in.

“And if we hit on troubled water,

I'll be the one to keep you warm and safe.

And we'll be carrying each other,

until we say goodbye on our dying day.

Because I've got you brother-er-er-er

I've got you brother-er-er-er

I've got you brother-er-er-er

I've got you brother-er-er-er

If I was dying on my knees,

you would be the one to rescue me.

And if you were drowned at sea,

I'd give you my lungs so you could breathe.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…

I've got you brother-er-er-er

I've got you brother-er-er-er….”

“Clay….” I whispered, my eyes slowly starting to droop from sleepiness.

“Shhh……” He shushed me, kissing my forehead, just like he would do when I was little. “Rest now, little Magnolia. You need your rest.”

“Okay….” I yawned, watching as Clay stayed beside me. “Clay?”

“Hmm?”

“Will…... Will I ever walk again?”

Silence. He looked over at me, a sad smile on his face.

“I don’t know, but…. We’ll figure something out, okay? For now, you need rest. Go to sleep, okay?”

“Okay…...” I whispered, small tears in my eyes as I yawned. “I love you, Clay…”

“I love you too, little brother. Now go to sleep.”

I felt Clay running his fingers through my hair to my forehead and his tail running on my shoulders, before I ended up falling asleep.

Chapter Text

“Floyd?” I groaned softly in my sleep as someone, I couldn’t tell who it was at first, gently shook my shoulder. “Little Ocean, wake up.”

I yawned, fluttering my eyes open, seeing my oldest brother, John Dory smiling gently.

“Good morning, sunshine.”

“Shut up.” I yawned, stretching my arms out. “Its too early for this.” This caused John to chuckle in response.

“You’ve never been a morning person.” He patted my knee gently. “Do you want some breakfast?”

Breakfast… Right…. That’s a regular thing now….

“No… I’m not hungry.”

“Floyd.” His tone was sterner. “You know you need to eat. You were starved for months.”

“JD…. I…. I can’t….” I looked away, my stomach aching from hunger, but feeling like I can’t eat.

“Floyd. You gotta eat… You’re already so malnourished, look at yourself. You’re so skinny.” I rolled my eyes at his statement.

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you’re trapped in a diamond prison for months and hardly ever given anything to eat or drink or even space to move around.” I sassed at him, causing him to give me a look.

“Floyd.” I looked away from him.

“Please…. Just leave me alone.” I whispered, laying my head on my arm so I couldn’t see him.

“Bud, I can’t do that. You need to eat. And we gotta get you up and let you stretch your legs. Too much of them being propped up is a bad thing, they could become paralyzed.” I scoffed at that statement.

“Isn’t that what I already am now?” I replied with sass. “If I’m not there yet, I will be soon.”

“If you don’t want that, the best thing to do is stretch your legs.”

“And what if I don’t want to?” I glared at him, tears glistening in my eyes. “I shouldn’t have to work to keep my body not broken and together for something that isn’t my fault.”

“Floyd….” JD sighed. “I know it’s not your fault, but…. Do you want to pass out and end up in the hospital because you won’t eat? Do you want to be in a wheelchair?”

I didn’t respond to that, not knowing what to think. A wheelchair…. Would mean the end of me, the end of my freedom.

“Listen…. We don’t know yet if you will fully heal or not. But we’re going to make sure you can be the best that you can be.” JD yanked the covers from over me, I glared and hissed at him. “Don’t you do that, now come on! Let’s get your tiny ass up so you can be the best little brother I know!”

“My ass is not tiny!”

“It’s tiny enough, now get up! Breakfast is on the table, Clay made blueberry pancakes.” I glared at him, not happy at all. “Floyd. Don’t test me. I will drag you in there.”

I didn’t change my glare, crossing my arms, refusing to move. “Try me, bitch.”

“Okay. One more chance. Or I’m picking you up, sitting you at the table and you will eat breakfast with us and stretch your legs rather you like it or not.” He wasn’t joking around. I responded with a roll of my eyes.

“Even if you get me in there, I won’t eat anything. I told you, I’m not hungry.”

“That’s your brain telling your body that you’re not hungry, but you are. Now, are you coming or not?” I scoffed with another roll of my eyes at his comment. “Fine. I warned you.”

Before I could do anything about it, JD picked me up and swung me over his shoulder, I growled and hissed at him in response.

“Jonathan Dorian!” I hit him on the head with my hand since I couldn’t really kick with my legs. “Put me down!”

“I will, little brother. At the breakfast table.” He smiled at me. “Now stop hissing, feral little bitch.” I growled in response.

“JD! Put me back in bed, I was comfortable!” I huffed, wanting to be let go.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quit your whining.”

I have never been so humiliated and annoyed in my life.

Still hitting him in the head, JD dropped me, gently, in a chair at the breakfast table. I grumbled, crossing my arms with an annoyed look on my face.

“Good morning, Floyd.” Clay smiled at me as he sat a plate of pancakes in front of me. “How are you this morning?”

“Go jump in a lake.” I responded, not moving from my position.

“Don’t mind him, he’s just mad that I woke him up before 9:00 and made him come out to be a productive member of society.” JD laughed and I scoffed.

“Fuck you and your society.”

“Well, someone’s in a mood this morning.” Bruce chuckled, placing a cup of juice in front of me. “Maybe some breakfast will help.”

“Like I told Johnathan The Traitor, I’m. Not. Hungry.” I glared at the food in front of me, as if it was out to get me.

“I always think I’m not hungry when I wake up,” Branch commented, sitting next to me with his own food. “then Poppy says that I’ve been cranky, so I eat, then I’m fine.”

“That’s you, not me. I’m not hungry.” I responded, not wanting to eat anything.

“Floyd… You’ve barely eaten anything since we moved in here. Come on, just a little bit?” Clay persuaded, sitting next to me. “I thought you love blueberry pancakes.”

“I do.” I corrected him. “Just not when I’m not hungry.”

“Magnolia…” Clay put a hand on my knee. “Please. You don’t have to eat a lot. Just a little. You’ll need some energy for the day, right?”

“Right. Energy. For laying in my bed and doing nothing because I can’t move my legs, right?” I snapped a little at him.

“About that...” Branch smiled at me. “We were thinking, you’ve been down here for nearly a week while you’re recovering. We can tell your getting bored and kind of snippy.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” I asked him.

“That.” Bruce commented, laying a hand on my shoulder. “We had an idea… How about we go up to Troll village? Let you get a sense of the place? And more importantly, be with other trolls besides us. Maybe you could make some friends? How about it?”

“Friends?” I treaded on the word as if it tasted bad. “I didn’t have friends here 20 years ago. I didn’t have friends in Mount Rageous. Why would I have friends now?”

“Well, things are different. We’re together, Trolls and creatures alike are living in harmony…. We’d like to include you.” Clay responded. “Come on, what’d do you say?”

Its… Not a horrible idea…… Besides, when’s the last time I’ve felt the sun on my face?

“Okay…. How will I walk?” I asked, resulting in a few taken-aback faces. “You… You do know that I can barely stand on my own, let alone walk? It won’t be any different up there….”

“We know, little one.” Bruce wrapped his arms around me in a hug from behind. “Let us worry about that. You get on to eating.”

“Again, I’m not hungry.” I huffed; my arms still crossed. “I’m not a baby, I can eat when I want to.”

“We know you’re not a baby.” Clay softly spoke. “But you have to eat. It’s been six days since we got you out of there, and since then, you’ve barely eaten a thing except that first meal you had. Remember, when you scarfed it down because you hadn’t had a meal in months?”

My stomach turned at that. I remember. I was starving. I was so hungry, and I just wanted food…. But… I got so sick because I ate so much…. My body isn’t used to eating that much anymore.

“I ate it all, yeah…. But then I got sick, remember?” I sighed, looking down.

“Floyd… Are you scared of getting sick like that again?” Branch asked, I slowly looked up at him.

“No… I… I’m not afraid of that, I just… I don’t know….”

“Buddy…. Even if that does happen, we’re right here, okay?” JD comforted. “We won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Clay pushed the plate closer towards me, giving me a reassuring glance, as if he was telling me it’s okay.

Its okay… You can eat it…. It’s okay….

Shakily, I took my fork, cutting off a small piece of pancake, dipping it in syrup and eating it. I looked up, and all my brothers were looking at me, all smiling. “….. Could you all stop staring at me? Its starting to freak me out.”

“Oh, sorry!” Branch laughed it off, starting to eat his own breakfast, soon followed by the rest of our brothers.

It doesn’t taste bad…. It’s good…

But my stomach didn’t quite agree with it… I breathed out slowly, forcing myself to take another bite, so hungry but feeling that gross nauseous feeling that came every time I tried to eat.

Stop…. I’m so hungry….

My brothers were making conversation amongst themselves, but I couldn't tell what they were saying, I was too focused on eating while feeling nauseous to care. I took another bite. And then another. My stomach grew more and more upset as that gross nauseous feeling came stronger.

“Floyd?” I looked up slowly, looking up at Clay. “Are you okay?”

“I…” I breathed out slowly, trying to stop from feeling so gross. “I don’t feel so good….”

Branch was able to tell that I was going to be sick, thank God, he quickly got up, getting a trash can, slowly turning me away from the table and putting the trash can right in front of me just in time. I gagged before I ended up vomiting right into the trash can.

I felt Bruce pulling my hair back, so it wasn’t in my face and Clay rubbing my back to comfort me.

“Its alright…” Clay soothed. “Let it all out, you’re okay…”

I gasped, trying to breathe before I vomited again, my arms shaking from my anxiety from throwing up in front of other trolls.

“Easy, buddy…” Bruce gently rubbed my forehead. “Don’t be embarrassed. You’re okay.”

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I vomited for another few seconds before I was just dry heaving. There was nothing more for me to throw up. “I-I…” I let out a few sobs. “I’m sorry….”

“Shhh….” Clay kept rubbing my back. “It’s okay, it’s not your fault.”

I heard water running, shortly after, a damp rag being run over my face by JD.

“Don’t apologize. You can’t help it.” He gave me a reassuring smile. “You’re recovering. This is part of the process. Okay?”

“…. I still feel bad….” I whispered.

“Well don’t.” Clay told me, gently running his fingers through my hair. “Come on, you can eat something lighter later. Let’s get you over to the couch, I can do your hair like I used to when we were little. How’s that sound?”

I nodded slowly, a few tears falling down my face as I tried to wipe them away.

“Alright…” Clay supported my weight, helping me up, my legs very shaky and unsteady to even stand. “You okay?”

“Yeah….” I whispered. “I don’t think… I can go see everyone today.”

“That’s okay. Don’t worry about it. The village will still be there when you can go.” I sighed at Clay’s response, looking down as he tried to help me walk. “Hey…. What’s wrong?”

“I…. I feel like I’m…. Burdening you guys.”

“Hey, that is NOT true, little brother.” Clay immediately spoke up.

“Isn’t it? I feel like—” Before I could finish, I ended up tripping, my legs growing shakier as I started to fall.

“I gotcha!” Clay caught me before I fell, slowly lowering me to the ground.

“Floyd! Are you okay?? You’re not hurt, are you???” JD asked, immediately starting to fret.

“No! I’m fine! I’m not hurt every time I trip, Johnathan!” I snapped, very irritated.

“Floyd, you could’ve gotten hurt!” He argued back with me, and I grumbled in response.

“I did get hurt. For two months. And THIS,” I motioned to myself. “Is the result! I’m sorry that this is the new me now!” I sighed, my arms shaking as I tried to get up.

“Hey, hey, don’t get up yet!” JD came over to try and help me. “You might get hur—”

“John!” Clay eventually spoke up for me. “JD, please. Let him do it, I’m right here next to him. He’s not an invalid.”

“He is right now! He can’t even stand!” JD snapped his mouth shut as soon as he made that statement, I shook my head in disbelief.

“Clay…” I looked at my immediate older brother. “Can we go to my room instead?”

“Sure.” Clay agreed. “Do you need help?”

“…. Yeah.” I spoke quietly, Clay carefully helping me up and back into my room. That’s when I heard the arguments start.

“JD! You know how he feels about those type of words!” Branch was the first one to start it.

“You saw him fall! And that’s not the first time! He needs help!”

“We all know he does, but you can’t be hovering over him at every moment. You know he likes his space.” Bruce agreed with my younger brother.

“I know he does, but he needs to be protected! He was trapped for two months with no way out in a way that scarred him forever! You don’t think that’s not going to traumatize him??”

I know I’m scarred forever…. I just…. Want to be normal again.

“Clay…. Can you shut the door?” I asked quietly, the older nodding, shutting the door behind us, him helping me sit in my bed. “I hate when they argue about me….” I let my bangs hang down in my face.

“Hey, it’s not all you…” He pushed my bangs out of my eyes. “John…. Has just grown very protective of you.”

“Why?” I asked, looking up at him. “Because I’m a burden?”

“Hey, you are not a burden. Let’s get that straight.” Clay grabbed some hair ties and a hairbrush from my dresser, sitting behind me as he began to brush out my hair. “He’s the oldest… He looks out for us. When he sees one of us hurt…. He doesn’t think rationally. He just wants to protect you.”

“I would say I can protect myself, but…” I shivered as memories came floating back. “The last time I tried, I got trapped in a diamond prison….”

“Which is not your fault.” Clay started a braid from my bangs, so it was going back. “They were bad people.”

“They were kids….” I corrected, quietly. “I…. I don’t understand…”

“You don’t have to understand. Just be happy you’re safe.”

Happy I’m safe… Right…. I’m real happy about that….

Clay must have sensed my aversion, because he started to sing.

“Once in a dream I thought I could be anyone I wanted.

Hard to believe but it felt real to me until the morning.

When I’m awake I still can’t shake the taste of freedom.

I can’t stop, I can’t break, I carry the weight for you.

It’s the loneliest road, road.

I know, I know, I know.

The loneliest road, road.

I know, I know, I know.

Once in a dream I thought I could keep you safe forever.

You held onto me, a beautiful scene I still remember.

When I’m awake, I hide all our chains, so you aren’t afraid.

I can’t stop, I can’t break, I carry the weight for you.

It’s the loneliest road, road.

I know, I know, I know.

The loneliest road, road.

I know, I know, I know.

I can’t stop, I can’t break, I carry the weight for you.

It’s the loneliest road, road.

I know, I know, I know.

The loneliest road, road.

I know, I know, I know.”

I slowly relaxed as Clay sang and did my hair…. Just like we did when we were younger. When we were kids…... And nothing bad ever happened….

“There,” Clay held up a hand-held mirror. “what’d you think?”

My bangs were pulled completely out of my face into a braid through a ponytail.

“I… I like it.” I smiled a little bit.

“Yeah?” Clay hugged me from behind. “I think you showing your face more is good. I know you like your look, I do too, but its good to show off that face of yours.”

“….. You think?”

“Yeah! I’m sure some nice Troll might come up and compliment you one day.” He winked at me, and I blushed.

“Yeah, right. Like anybody would be interested in me.” I rolled my eyes at the thought. “No girl has ever been interested in me, and I’ve never been interested in them.”

“Well….” Clay smiled at me. “Maybe girls aren’t your thing.”

“…. What do you mean?” I asked him.

“Come on.” He laughed a bit. “Look at you. You’re a walking gay icon, my brother.”

“W-What???” I blushed even more. “I-I don’t like guys!”

“Uh-huh, surrrre.” Clay rolled his eyes in response. “Listen, you’ve never paid any girls no mind. But I’ve seen you looking at some guys before.”

“…. So?” I quietly asked. “Guys…... Can be pretty…”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that.” He hugged me again. “Love who you love, little brother. So long as you’re happy, that’s all that I care about.”

I smiled, tears filling my eyes. “Thank you, Clay.”

“Anytime, little Magnolia.”

“Clay?”

“Hmm?”

“Will…. Will you stay with me? I…. I’m kinda tired…”

“Of course.” Clay got up from where he was, helping me lay down and cover me up with my blankets before moving to my other side, laying next to me. “Comfy?”

“Yeah….” I yawned. “I’m sorry I haven’t recovered yet…”

“Hey, recovery takes time. Take as long as you need.” He smiles, wrapping his arms around me.

“Thank you, Clay….” My eyes drooped, I tried to fight the urge to not fall asleep. “Thank you…”

“Go to sleep, little brother…. You need your rest.” I listened, closing my eyes, as I slowly drifted off to dreamland.

Chapter Text

“Please! Please stop, I-I can’t take it anymore!” I shook in my prison, my legs and arms starting to lose their feeling.

“Oh, get a grip, little troll!” Velvet smirked, shaking the bottle in her hand, causing my head to hurt. “You’re making us famous, isn’t that enough?”

“P-Please…. You…. You’re killing me!” I cried, looking at her, desperate. “You have no talent yourself; you think stealing someone else’s is going to make it better??”

“Oh, please!” She shook the bottle some more, I started to grow nauseous. “You’re giving your talent to us, it’s a gift!”

“Sis, come on!” Veneer finally piped in. “I know we’re stealing his talent, but if you keep shaking him like that, you’re gonna hurt him.”

“He’s fine!” Velvet scoffed, not caring at all. “We just need a little troll for our next show!”

“No, please!” Before I could say anything else, she squeezed the end of the bottle, causing me to scream in pain, shaking as talent was taken from me.

“Come on, Veneer!” She threw me at her brother. “Get your Troll on and let’s go!” She left the room.

I shook, my body aching from the pain. “Veneer… Please… Let…. Let me go…”
`

“…. I can’t…. She’s my sister. I have to listen to her…”

“No…. You don’t…. You…. You can be your own person….” My stomach grumbled as I spoke.

“…… You’re hungry, aren’t you?” I scoffed in reply.

“Why would you care? ‘Being hungry doesn't affect your talent’ right?”

“Hey, my sister said that, not me…” Venner grabbed some fruit, squeezing it through the bottle. “I know you haven’t eaten in a few days…”

I quickly ate the fruit, while it tasted disgusting due to being out for a long while, but it was food…

“…… I’m sorry.” Before I could respond, he squeezed the bottle, much less than Velvet does, but he did end up throwing me aside as he left. I sighed, shaking as I looked at my arms and legs…... They’re getting worse….

“Floyd??”

Great…. Now I’m hearing voices.

“Floyd, wake up! Wake up, Floyd!”

I gasped, panting as I quickly sat up, breathing heavily and looking around, seeing that I was in the safety of my room.

“Hey, Floyd, it’s okay…” Clay was next to me, rubbing my back soothingly. I covered my face with my hands, my arms shaking as I sobbed. “Shhh, you’re okay…. You’re safe.”

“C-Clay….” I whimpered, shaking from fear. “I-I was back there…. I…. I don’t wanna be back there!”

“You’re not. You’re safe. You’re in the bunker, okay?” Clay gently took my hand. “Those kids aren’t going to hurt you again.”

“They…. They used me…. Starved me….” More tears streamed down my cheeks as I looked at him. “And they tried to use you, too….”

“But we got out. We got you out. You were in that situation for way longer…” Clay gently rubbed my shoulder. “You were kidnapped and tortured. You didn’t deserve that. Never in a million years.”

“I never wanted this to happen…” I looked at my legs. “And now… I’m damaged…”

“Hey, you’re not damaged.” I rolled my eyes.

“I either have to be carried or supported when I walk anywhere…... How is that not damaged??” I snapped, looking down. “I won’t ever walk again… Will I?”

“Well…. We don’t know until you try, do we?”

Try?... I have tried…. It results in me falling and JD losing his shit because I ‘didn’t ask for help.’

“How can I try without JD hovering over me like I’m a baby who might split its head open?” I asked, annoyed.

“Well… We can try right here. JD isn’t here, just us.”

Try here?.... We’re in the safety of my room, I guess…... That would be okay…

“Sure… We… We can try…” I agreed, causing Clay to smile.

“Great!” He hopped up, extending his hand to me. “Don’t worry, we’ll take it slow.”

“Okay….” I reached out, taking his hand as I stood, my legs already shaking as I stumbled. Luckily Clay was there, supporting me.

“It’s okay. I gotcha.” He supported my back, helping me stand upright.

I breathed a little heavier than normal, my legs still shaking, I knew for a fact that when I walked, I’d be very unsteady and would nearly fall.

“Hey.” Clay gently had me look at him, smiling reassuringly. “Breathe. You’re okay.”

“W-What if I’m not?” I asked, starting to grow nervous.

“I’m right here. I won’t let anything happen to you. Have I ever let anything bad happen to you?”

“No…... I remember you punching some kids because they said some mean things to me when we were kids.” I chuckled at the memory.

“Hey, nobody messes with my little brother! Plus, you were the baby of the family at the time, you were my only little brother. I had to protect you.” He ruffled my still-braided hair from earlier and I smiled a little.

“Yeah…. I know…”

“Okay. You ready to try a few steps?” I noddled slowly, very nervous, but willing to try. “Okay. I got you. I won’t let you fall, okay?”

Slowly, Clay stepped backwards, me stepping forwards, my legs shaking the entire time, wincing at the pressure of my legs on the ground. Slowly, I tried to take a few steps.

I fell.

Despite me being so lightweight and much shorter compared to Clay, I don’t think he was prepared for the impact, losing his grip on me as I hit the floor.

“Shit!” He quickly kneeled next to me. “Magnolia, are you okay??”

“No!” I yelled, tears falling down my face. “I’m not alright, I-I just wanted to walk a few steps without falling! I can’t even do that even with someone supporting my weight!”

“Floyd….” Clay spoke quietly. “I’m sorry…”

“Face it… I’ll never walk again…” 

Before he could respond, the door burst open, scaring both of us.

“Floyd! Are you alright?? What happened??”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “I am FINE Jonathan Dory. I just fell.”

“Just fell???” JD quickly looked me over, feeling my face, arms and legs, as if he was sure that I was broken. “You didn’t break your arms or legs, did you?? Falling on these floors can be painful, you gotta be more careful!”

“I am TRYING!” I slammed my fists down on the ground, tears and anger in my eyes. “It’s been a week, and I still can’t walk! Have you ever been physically tied down that you can’t move??? When you want to, but you can’t because the day those kids trapped you in that damn prison, you lost your freedom?! Lost your will to live, to survive?!” Tears streamed down my face, the room going quiet.

“Floyd….” That was the only thing JD said, I sighed, shaking my head.

“I wish you would’ve let them take me…... I wish you would’ve left me in that prison!” Tears streamed down my face as I looked down at my hands, them very pale, just like my legs. “I can feel this body DYING all around me!”

"Floyd...." Clay gently rubbed my back. "Please don't say that.... We need you..."

"I put you all in danger..." I sobbed. "You all could've been killed!"

"Floyd...." JD kneeled in front of me. "It's you who almost died.... You did die..."

I shook, closing my eyes, remembering that moment.... I saw light, brightness....

I saw grandma......

"I know it was scary, buddy..." Clay comforted. "But hey, you're alive. That's all that matters."

"Alive...... But a burden.... I'll never.... I'll never be normal again..."

"Floyd...... Don't say that..." Clay hugged me gently. "We love you more than anything. You're not a burden."

"Yes, I am...." Tears poured down my cheeks. "And I always will be...."

"No. You won't. You're not a burden. Now stop saying that." JD insisted, and I scoffed in response.

"Oh, SURE THING! Just let me stop feeling bad for myself, I'm sure that will solve EVERYTHING!" I crossed my arms, glaring at my eldest brother. "You have no idea what it's like...."

"No, I don't...." He placed a hand on my knee. "But I know how hard it is to watch you go through this."

Anger raged through me.

"WATCH me go through this???" I glared in anger, moving away from him. "I AM going through this! You have no idea the hell that I'm living through!"

"Floyd, I'm just trying to help-"

"I don't want or NEED your help!" I cut him off. "Just leave me alone!" I collapsed into Clay, sobbing into his chest.

I don’t need JD. I need Clay…. He’s the one who always helps and protects me without going overboard. He wants to help me…... Genuinely help me… Without making me feel like a baby….

“Okay…. I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone…” I didn’t look at JD, continuing to cry into Clay’s chest, holding onto him for dear life, not even looking at my eldest brother when he left the room, closing the door behind him.

“Shhh……” Clay held me close, rubbing my back gently to comfort me. “Its okay….”

Fuck! Why…... Why am I so mean to my siblings? They’re just trying to help….

“I can’t do anything right…” I whimpered quietly.

“Hey, that’s not true.” Clay told me. “JD has been overprotective and overbearing ever since we saved you from that prison. You have a right to be angry at him for being so controlling.”

“…. I feel like I’m trapped…... Still trapped in that goddamn bottle…. And I can’t escape…” I admitted, tears still in my eyes.

“Being stuck down here doesn’t help, does it?” I shook my head at the question.

“I don’t mind being down here, but…. Constantly for a week, I…. I feel trapped…” I looked down, my arms shaking. “I…. I just want to feel that freedom again…. I haven’t felt that in a long time…”

“Okay….” Clay ruffled my hair a little. “How about we get you something light to eat, and I see what I can do about getting you to Troll Village.”

“Really?” I looked up at him with puppy-dog eyes. “You mean it?”

“I do, my little brother. Also, those eyes should not still work, you’re almost 30.” I laughed a little at that.

“Years of practice.” I smiled.

“Alright, you wanna get back in bed?” Clay asked, standing up. “I can bring you something light to eat.”

My stomach turned, sickness growing inside of me as I thought about eating more food.

“I’ve gotten sick the last 3 times that I’ve eaten…. I don’t wanna get sick again…”

“I know…. What about some soup? I could have Branch make it. He makes good soup, you know?” I thought about this, looking at Clay and nodding.

“Okay…. Can you help me up?” Clay supported my weight, helping me stand up, my legs shaking as I stood. “…. When will my legs stop shaking and being so unstable?”

“It’ll take time…. We just have to wait and see…” I sighed at Clay’s response, looking down.

By the time I learn to walk, Branch will need to know if I want lilies or roses at my funeral.

“Come on,” Clay helped me into bed. “maybe you can catch up on a little rest while Branch makes you soup.”

“I feel like all I do is rest….” I mumbled, holding the blankets close to me.

“I know….” Clay smiled sadly. “But don’t worry, we’ll find a solution.”

I hope you’re right……

“Get some rest. You need it.” I sighed, nodding slowly as my eyes slowly started to droop. I felt Clay run his fingers through my hair as he started to sing.

“Deep in the meadow, under the willow.

A bed of grass, a soft green pillow.

Lay down your head and close your sleepy eyes.

And when again they open, the sun will rise.

Here it's safe, here it's warm.

Here the daisies guard you from every harm.

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true.

Here is the place where I love you.

Deep in the meadow, hidden far away.

A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray.

Forget your woes and let your troubles lay.

When again it's morning, they'll wash away.

Here it's safe, here it's warm.

And here the daisies guard you from every harm.

And here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true.

Here is the place where I love you.

Here is the place where I love you.”

I yawned, fluttering my eyes, smiling at Clay.

“Thank you, Clay…. I love you, too.” I mumbled, closing my eyes.

“Go to sleep, little brother…. Go to sleep.”

Chapter Text

“He’s giving up on himself…” I told Branch, watching as he was making soup for our brother. “He needs the confidence; he needs something to live for…”

“I know…” Branch sighed. “I want to help him, but…. How can we?”

“He’s angry at the world….” I ran my fingers through my curly, untamed hair. “He hates that he can’t walk, can hardly move… He thinks he’s a burden.”

“He needs to try to stretch and move his legs. That’s the only thing that’s going to help.”

“How?” I shook my head. “When he tries, he either falls or gets so frustrated that he gives up. And John Dory is NOT helping anything. If anything, he’s making it worse. I get being protective of Floyd right now, we all are…. But babying him and making him feel like an invalid is going to make things worse.”

“I know….” Branch looked over at me. “I had an idea, but…. I’m not sure if it’ll work or if Floyd will like it or not….”

“What is it?” Branch sighed, putting the soup on low.

“I’ll show you.”

I followed my youngest brother to a part of the bunker that looked like where he did his building. He walked over to a corner, pushing something forward, setting it in front of me.

A wheelchair?....

“Are you sure about this?” I asked him.

“No, but…...” Branch sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I feel like he needs it. He’s in his room, bored out of his mind and angry at absolutely everything and everyone. I thought….”

“This might help him?” I finished his sentence. “It’s not a bad idea, but…. I don’t know how Floyd will react…”

What if he hates it?.....

“I know… That’s my worry… But I just thought he could use this until he’s able to move around some…” Branch fiddled with his hands nervously. “I don’t want him to hate me…”

“Hey, he would never hate you…. He’s just sensitive right now... He needs help, but…. He has to let us help him.” I sighed, wanting to be able to help my brother.

“Help Floyd with what??” A feminine voice made us both jump, hands covered my eyes, I sighed, relaxing once I knew who it was.

“Hi Viva.” I smiled as she uncovered my eyes, hugging me. “What are you doing here?”

“And how did you get into my bunker?” Branch asked, arms crossed.

“I have a key!” She smiled at him.

“You gave her a key?” Branch asked, and I shook my head.

“No, she—” I was interrupted.  

“Ooh, what’s that?” Viva pointed to the wheelchair, jumping up and down in excitement.

“Its…. A wheelchair… For Floyd.” I told her.

“Ohhh, for him to like, get around and stuff?” I nodded. “Will…. Will he use it?”

“We’re not sure…. That’s what we’re afraid of.” Branch sighed, deep in thought.

“He’s…. Just so... Angry at the world right now…. I’m scared for him… I just…. Wish there was something we could do to help him…” I admitted, looking down for a moment. I felt Viva take my hand, looking into her eyes.

“You care for Floyd. All of you do, you want what’s best for him… He could’ve died, but he didn’t. All of you saved him. And I know he’s forever grateful for that. Whatever his reaction is to this, I know that he’ll always love you.” I smiled a little at her.

“You know, sometimes exactly what I want to hear isn’t always exactly what I want to hear.” I softly told her.

“I know… But you needed to hear it.” She smiled a little. “Hey…. How about we have a little get-together? Floyd’s been down here for almost a week and hasn’t met any of the other Trolls besides me, Poppy and our dad. how about you all come up to the village for a little party?”

“Floyd’s still recovering, Viva. It’s probably too early for a party.” Branch told her, I looked over at him.


“It might lift his spirits. He needs that more than anything.” I persuaded. “Besides, we have this wheelchair for him. So, he won’t get too tired.”

“Physically he won’t. It’s mentally I’m worried about.”

“Come on, Branchy!” Viva giggled, jumping around him. “It’ll be fun! It won’t be a big party. Your brothers, me, Poppy, some of the other Trolls for him to meet. It won’t be too overwhelming, I promise.”

“I don’t know…. Floyd said he didn’t have any friends before or after he started his solo career…. This would probably be too much for him.”

“Viva…” I placed a hand on her shoulder. “How about we make us just us brothers, you and Poppy for now? So, everyone, especially Floyd, isn’t too overwhelmed?”

She gasped, jumping up and down excitedly. “Clay! That idea is fantasta-mazing!” She quickly hugged me, picking me up and spinning me around so much that I got dizzy. “I gotta go tell the others!” She tried to race off, but I gently grabbed her by her wrist.

“Wait.” I brought her closer, so she was paying attention. “We have to bring the wheelchair idea up to Floyd first.”

“Oh… Yeah, good idea…” Viva smiled at me. “I’m sure it’ll be just fine. I mean, he can’t stay down here five-ever.”

“…… Five-ever?” Branch asked, raising his eyebrow.

“That’s even longer that forever!” She giggled.

Branch eyed me and I shrugged.

“That’s Viva for you.” I chuckled.

“Aww, I know you love me, Clay-boy!” She giggled. “You’re my very best friend!

I do…. I love you so much, Viva… More than you could ever know. But…... Do you feel the same about me?

“Clay….” Branch spoke up. “How…. How should we bring this up to him?”

I sighed, looking at my baby brother. “Lets just do it. And I think it has to be us that tells him. Not JD. Not Bruce. Just us…”

“Yeah…. Good idea.”

JD will act like he has to have the wheelchair no matter what and Bruce would give him a dad lecture. He doesn’t need that. He needs the ones closest to him to tell him that it’s going to be okay.

“Hey, don’t worry, guys! It’s Floyd, your brother! I’m sure everything will be fine!” Viva smiled and I sighed, shaking my head as I smiled at her.

“You really always see the best in everything, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah! After everything that’s happened, I kinda have to.” She smiled big at me. “Right?”

Viva…. You always see the good in everyone and always look on the bright side… You’re so focused and driven on everyone else, that you never stop to worry about yourself…

“Viv….” I looked at her sadly. “You don’t have to be positive and happy about everything all the time. It’s okay to be sad.”

“Whaaaaat???? Me, sad? Oh, Clay-buddy!” She ruffled my wild hair. “You’re as hilarious as the day I met you!”

I studied Viva’s expression. I’ve known this girl since we were little kids…. I know when she’s lying.

“Hey Branch….” I glanced over to my baby brother. “Can you go fill in JD and Bruce about the wheelchair? I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Y-Yeah…. Sure.” Branch pushed the wheelchair out, leaving me and Viva alone.

“Okay. What’s going on with you?” I asked her straight-up.

“Whaaaat?? Nothing’s going on!” She put on that fake smile of hers.

“Viv…. I know you, come on.” I wrapped my arm around her. “We’ve been there for each other through everything, ever since we were kids. You tell me everything, I tell you everything.”

“I know…” She sighed. “It’s stupid.”

“Viva. If it’s bothering you, it’s not stupid.” I gently took her hand. “What’s going on?”

“Clay….” She looked away from me. “When…. When you went to save Floyd, I…. I was hurt when you left…. I…. I thought you were leaving me forever, I…. I didn’t want to lose you, and…. When I joined you all, part of it was for Poppy, to be with my sister, but…... A big part of it was to be with you.”

“Viva….” I wrapped my arms around her in a hug. “I…. I’m so sorry, I…. I didn’t want to leave you…. But I had to save my brother…”

“I know…. I didn't want you to abandon him, I just…...”

“You felt abandoned…... Didn’t you?” She nodded slowly. “Viv…. I…. I’m so sorry…. I never wanted to leave you….”

“When you left, it…. It made me realize that…” She looked up at me. “I don’t wanna lose you.”

“I don’t wanna lose you either, Viv. You’re my best friend in the whole world, as well as my girlfriend…. I never want us to drift apart.” She looked down for a moment, looking sad.

“I never do either…. We… We won’t drift apart… Not ever, if we can help it… Right?”

“…. Viva…. You’re…. My first… My first everything…” I opened my eyes, looking right into hers. “You’ve always been the one that I can trust 100% of the time…. It was always you. And it will always be you.”

“You too…. I’ve always trusted you, Clay…. And I always will.” She held my hand, kissing it.

Viva…

“I’ll always trust you too, Viv…. Always and forever.”

The love of my life…. My best friend…. My very best friend…. God, she’s so beautiful…

“So….” She smiled that planning smile of hers. “What do you think about kids?”

“W-What?!” I asked, eyes widening in shock.

“Not now. Just, planning ahead.” She smiled mischievously.

“Ha-ha, hilarious.” I force-laughed, sarcastically. “Come on… The sooner Branch and I tell Floyd about the wheelchair, the better.” She smiles, taking my hand as she follows me to the kitchen, where everyone else is currently.

“You ready?” Branch asked once he saw me, I nodded.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Are you guys sure this is a good idea?” Bruce asked, worried. “We know he’s super sensitive, not to mention angry at the world right now…. Who’s to say that this isn’t the thing that tips him over the edge?”

“I know…. I’m worried about that too…” Branch sighed, looking over to the wheelchair, then back to Bruce. “But if he doesn’t show at least some process of getting out and moving, he is going to be confined to that bed for the rest of his life. And I don’t want that for him.”

“Okay…. Good luck.” Bruce gave us his nod of approval.

I looked over at JD, who remained quiet and stoic.

God knows what he thinks about this whole thing.

“Come on, Branch. Leave the wheelchair outside his room for now, we can bring it in a minute.” The younger nodded, following me to Floyd’s room, leaving the wheelchair outside as instructed.

I knocked lightly on the door, slowly opening it. “Floyd?”

He was asleep, breathing in and out slowly, stretching his paws and claws out in his sleep. I smiled at this, going over to him, gently shaking his arm. “Floyd?... Floyd, buddy, wake up.”

He yawned, fluttering his eyes, bringing his claws in, swishing his tail back and forth. He looked tired. “What is it?”

“Viva stopped by…” I told him, smiling. “How do you feel about going to hangout with us, Poppy and Viva at Troll Village?”

“….. I dunno…. I still can’t move my legs or even walk…. How would I get around?”

Here we go….

“Well….” Branch gave him a smile. “I made you something that might help…” He stepped out for a moment, pushing the wheelchair inside the room.

I looked over at Floyd, he was expressionless. Staring at the wheelchair, as if he was processing it…. I’ve never seen him like this.

“So….” He finally spoke after a long few minutes. “You’re giving up on me…”

“What??” Branch asked, taken aback. “No, we’re not—”

“That’s why you build the wheelchair, right?” He looked at us, tears in his eyes. “So I don’t have to bother you anymore…. So I don’t have to learn to walk again?... Taking the easy way out….”

“Floyd, nothing about this is easy.” I sat next to him. “We just want to help. You standing and walking just isn’t working right now. We thought that the wheelchair could help you for now, and when you’re ready to really walk, we’ll be right here to help you.” He scoffed in reply, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, right…... I’m going to be stuck in that wheelchair for the rest of my life.”

“Isn’t that better than being stuck in this bed for the rest of your life??” Branch asked him. “This wheelchair is your freedom!”

“Branch—” I tried to stop him, but he cut me off.

“No, he needs to hear this.” Branch crossed his arms. “Floyd, you know I love you; we all do. But watching you throw your life away and give up after you trip or fall once! This is going to take time. You need to be patient with this. Please Floyd…. If you don’t try this, I’m afraid what will happen to you.”

“Afraid what will happen to me??” Floyd asked, clearly upset. “You don’t know fear…. Fear is not knowing when your next meal is. Being shaken in a bottle and thrown against diamond over and over again. Being trapped for two months with no way out, truly believing that nobody will save you. That is fear. This?” He motions to himself. “This is waste. I will never recover from this!”

“You definitely won’t if you have that attitude!” Branch shouted. “You have to believe in yourself, Floyd! We almost lost you once, I’m not doing it again!”

“I wish you had lost me!”

It all went quiet….

Tell me…... Tell me he didn’t just say that……

“Floyd….” I spoke quietly. “Do…. Do you want to die?”

Silence. I saw tears in my younger brother’s eyes.

Floyd …... God….

I wrapped my arms around him, holding my brother close. He sobbed into my chest, I shushed him gently, rubbing his back.

“I-I don’t want to be this way!” Floyd cried. “I-I just want to be normal!”

“Shhh, I know, I know….” I gently soothed him. “…. Would you like me to sing?” After a moment he nodded.

“You put all your faith in my dreams.

You gave me the world that I wanted.

What did I do to deserve you?

I follow your steps with my feet.

I walk on the road that you started.

I need you to know that I heard you, every word.

I've waited way too long to say,

Everything you mean to me.

In case you don't live forever, let me tell you now.

I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around.

In case you don't live forever, let me tell you the truth.

I'm everything that I am because of you.

I, I've carried this song in my mind.

Listen, it's echoing in me.

But I haven't helped you to hear it.

We, we've only got so much time.

I'm pretty sure it would kill me.

If you didn't know the pieces of me are pieces of you.

I've waited way too long to say,

Everything you mean to me.

In case you don't live forever, let me tell you now.

I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around.

In case you don't live forever, let me tell you the truth.

I'm everything that I am because of you.

I have a hero whenever I need one!

I just look up to you and I see one!

I'm a man 'cause you taught me to be one!

In case you don't live forever, let me tell you now…

I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around.

In case you don't live forever, let me tell you the truth.

I'm everything that I am….

Whoa... whoa...

In case you don't live forever, let me tell you the truth.

As long as I'm here as I am, so are you.”

Floyd was still crying, but he was calmer.

“I’m sorry….” He whispered, slowly looking at Branch. “It…. Its just hard…. I used to be fine, but then…. Everything changed…”

“I know…” Branch put his hand on Floyd’s shoulder. “That’s why we’re here. To help you.”

“I know….” He sighed, looking at me. “I would…. Like to try it….”

“Okay. You’re sure?” I asked him and he nodded.

“You’re right… I’m not dealing right…. This needs to be the next step.”

“Alright…” I got up, gently picking Floyd up bridal style, slowly sitting him in the wheelchair.

“So.... What do you think?” Branch asked after a moment.

“It’s …... Different….” Floyd mumbled, putting his hands on the wheels, slowly moving them an inch so he moved forward. “……. I’m willing to try…. Until I can walk.”

“Great!” Branch hugged him. “I’m glad you’re willing to give it a chance! Once you get the hang of it, I’ll show you all the tricks it has!”

“Tricks?” Floyd asked, eyebrow raised. “What kind of tricks?”

“Oh, you’ll see!” Branch smiled at him.

“….. Okay….” Floyd mumbled, very curious. “You said that we were going to meet Poppy and Viva?”

“Yeah! Viva’s already here…. Did Clay mention that he and Viva were together?” Branch smiled a little bit.

“You little spy!”

“Wait, really?” Floyd asked, smiling. “I knew you were in love with her, even though you didn’t mention it before.”

“Yeah, so??....” I crossed my arms.

“How long then?”

“…. 16 years.”

“What?? 16 years and you’re still not married?” Floyd giggled.

“So what?” I rolled my eyes. “It’s not something we ever talked about, we’re in a good place at the golf course, it’s just not in the cards right now…”

“But it could be in the cards now?” Branch winked, he and Floyd giggling like teenagers.

I can’t believe the three of us share genetic material.

“Clay’s gonna get married!” Floyd teased and I sighed, shaking my head.

“You’re lucky you’re in recovery, otherwise I’d beat your ass.” I threatened, causing a laugh from Floyd. A real, genuine laugh.

That laugh…. When’s the last time I’ve heard that laugh? I…. I can’t even remember…

From now on, I had one goal. Make Floyd laugh as much as possible.

Chapter Text

“You okay back there, Floyd?” I turned around to my eldest brother’s voice, seeing Floyd trying to push himself in the wheelchair, but it was proving difficult for him.

“I’m fine, John Dory.” Floyd responded, clearly very tired after our little get-together. We decided to do a little stroll in the village, since we hadn’t seen much of it at all.

It probably wasn’t the best idea to let him push himself up the hill, but… He wanted to do it.

“Are you sure? I can push you!”

“Please don’t.”

“Let him be, John Dory.” Bruce intervened. “He wants to do it himself, let him do it himself.”

“But he—” I interrupted this time.

“Is a grown adult and if he needs help, he will ask for it.” That quieted JD up, at least for the moment. Floyd shot me a thankful glance, glad that Bruce and I are at least trying to get Johnathan Dorain off his back. Floyd isn’t helpless. John needs to realize that.

The village was very different from the troll tree… It was more open, more room to move around. And it was…. Big. Very big….

Maybe Viva and I could move the putt-putt trolls out here at some point?.... I hate to leave them for too long… Besides, we’re all safe now. It’d be a good thing.

“Ohmigosh, Clay!” I felt Viva jump on my back. “We should bring the putt-putt trolls here!” I chuckled at her enthusiasm.

“I was just thinking the same thing.” She gasped, grabbing me by the face.

“REALLY????” I nodded at her. “Let’s do it!”

“Alright, but we have to plan this out right. We can’t just bring them here. We need to make sure they have a place to live and sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah, I knowwww…” She rolled her eyes in a teasing manner. “I’m just excited! We don’t have to live in fear anymore…”

Fear…. She’s right…. There’s no fear anymore… No more fear…. Except…. No!... That was 15 years ago. It doesn’t matter anymore.

“Clay?” Viva hopped off of my back, waiting until the others were out of earshot. “You okay?”

“Yeah…. I’m fine…. Why?”

“Because I know you…” She gently took my hand in hers. “And you’re shaking…... Why—” She paused, her expression softening once she realized. “You’re thinking about…. Him again…. Aren’t you?”

I looked down, avoiding her glance.

“Clay.” She lifted my head up by my chin with her hand. “He can’t hurt you anymore.”

“We don’t even know where he is….” I lowered my hair to wrap around myself for comfort. “He…. He could be anywhere…”

“You remember that night I kicked him out with Winter and Raven…” Viva gently stroked my hair in comfort. “He’s not stupid enough to come near you again.”

“Y-You…. Don’t know that…” I looked away again. “W-What he did…... To me, I… I-I….”

“Was just a kid…” Viva gently wrapped her arms around me. “You were just a kid…."

I leaned into her touch, tears falling down my face. "I d-didn't...... Ask for any of it......"

"Of course not." Viva rubbed my back soothingly. "You were 15...... You were just a kid...."

"A kid who should've known better...." I mumbled softly.

"No." Viva made me look at her again. "He took advantage of you. You never asked for any of it, Clay......"

"What if I did?......" I shivered at the thought. "What if...... I led him on somehow...."

"You didn't." She was sterner this time. "You did nothing wrong. It was all him, my love. None of it was your fault. Absolutely none of it." She gently caressed my face. "Understand?"

After a moment, I nodded slowly, wiping the tears from my eyes. "I-I know...... It’s just sometimes...... My brain tells me differently than what I know...... I know it was his fault, I know I did nothing wrong, but...... Part of me still believes that I'm to blame...."

"You're not." She gently squeezed my hand. "I know you still think about it...... And that's okay, it was traumatic-"

"He hurt me...." I spoke up, looking at my girlfriend. "He took my innocence, Viv...... That's something that I can never get back."

"....... I know......" She sighed. "I know how horrible it was for you...."

"At least you were there for me...." I smiled sadly. "Winter and Raven, too…. I don't even know how to tell my brothers, or if I even should...."

"That's up to you. You don't have to tell them if you don't want to."

"I feel like I should, but......." I sighed, my arms shaking a little. "I don't think that I'm ready for that...."

"That's okay." She gently held my arms in a soothing way. "If you want to tell them, you tell them when you are ready. You don't have to tell them now. You take your time and decide when you're ready."

"..... What if I'm never ready?"

"That's okay, too. You have me to talk to, right?" I nodded. "Then you know that you'll always have me." She kissed my forehead, and I smiled a little.

"Thank you, Viva...."

"I love you, Clay." She smiled at me. That gorgeous, beautiful smile of hers. "I'll always love you."

“…. I love you too, Viv.” I loved her… More than anything. She’s always been there for me… Just like that night…

“Come on, let’s catch up with the others.” I took Viva’s hand as we walked through the village to catch up with my siblings.

As we walked, I remembered that night…. When I lost everything… I remember everything that happened down to the little moments….

The night that I was taken advantage of.

15 years ago

Ash was a troll that came to us in the middle of the night during a huge rainstorm. He was older, needed a home… So, we took him in. He was grateful to us… Especially to me. He spent time with me, read my sad books, helped me manage the golf course at times. Most importantly, he took me seriously.

I guess that’s why I didn’t see the signs…

“It’s really impressive that you were able to make this abandoned golf course into a home.” I smiled at the praise.

“It’s nothing, really. It’s a place to keep us safe, and you know, it’s home.”

“Well, it’s mighty impressive for a fifteen-year-old.”

“Hey, Viva and I run the place together, it’s not just me.”

“Yeah, but… You do most of the work, don’t you?” He smiled. “I bet it’s stressful on you.”

He praised me. I didn’t know it then, but he was grooming me. Building a relationship with me so that I would trust him. I guess that’s why I never saw it coming…

He built up trust and a relationship with me so I would trust him. For weeks, nearly a month. He wanted me to trust him… So that he could hurt me.

“You know…. You’re a very pretty boy.” Ash’s comment had taken me off guard, I was reading one of my sad books, he had walked up and had started touching my hair…… I only like Viva to touch my hair.

“O-Oh….” I moved away from the touch. “Thank you……”

“You’re not just pretty…” He sat beside me, taking my book out of my hands, and setting it down, stroking my cheek. “You’re beautiful.”

“…… Thanks…” I moved away from his touch again. “Can…. Can you stop? I… I don’t like this…”

“Stop? Why, Clay-baby…” His hand moved to my shoulders. “We’re just getting started.

“No.” I pushed him off, getting up. “Do not touch me, leave me alone. You need to leave. Now!”

“Oh, Clay-baby.” He smiles, standing up to me. “You’re nervous, I get it. It’s your first time.”

“No.” I growled, stepping back, and extending my claws in defense. “And that is a full sentence. Back. Away.”

“Come on, baby…” He grabbed my wrists, stinging from how hard he grabbed me and pain from earlier. “I know you want to.”

“No.” I tried to get out of his grasp. “Let. Me. Go.”

“Oh, Clay…. I hoped we could do this the easy way.” He pulled me by my wrists, starting to lead me to my bedroom.

“No! Stop!” I fought, clawing his arms, pulling away, trying everything I could to get away from him.

“Calm down. You’ll be fine.” He pushed me onto my bed, immediately getting on top of me, all his weight on me as forced a kiss on my lips. I hated it. “I knew it… You taste good, your lips are so soft...”

I tried to push him off me. I clawed at him, fought him. I didn’t want this. I was only fifteen! I didn’t want this to happen!

“Get off me! I have a girlfriend! Leave me alone!” I growled, clawing him in the face, causing him to cry out in pain, glaring at me as blood dripped from his cheek.

“You little bitch….” He pulled at my clothes, starting to take them off me.” I was going to be nice, but you crossed a line.”

“Stop!” I tried to kick and claw at him again, but he came on stronger. “Get off of me! I don’t want this!”

I shook in fear as he took my clothes off, then took his shorts off. His red eyes staring straight into my soul.

God… No, please…. Don’t let this happen… Don’t let this happen to me…

“Relax….” He forced kisses on my neck as I trembled in fear. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you…”

“N-No…...” Tears filled my eyes as I realized what was about to happen. “Please…. Just…. Just leave me alone!”

“Hush! You don’t know what it feels like to be loved. Viva will never love you like I do.” Ash gave me a smile, holding me close to him as he forced himself inside me.

I screamed.

“Yeah, I knew you were a virgin, baby boy… You and that Viva obviously haven’t had sex yet…” I sobbed as he thrusted hard inside of me. “You’re so tight, you feel so good….”

“S-Stop!” I screamed, more tears spilling down my cheeks. “I-It hurts!”

“It’ll get better, don’t worry…” He ran his fingers through my hair. “It’s normal for it to hurt your first time.”

“S-STOP!!!” I tried to get him off me. “Leave me alone! Viva’s going to kill you once she finds out about this!

“What? That you slept with someone else? Sure, she’ll be pissed. But not at me. At you. Because you slept with someone else.” His thrusts became harder and more forceful, tears fell down my face as I sobbed, trembling from fear and pain.

“I-I didn’t sleep with you! You’re making me do this!” I tried to push him off of me again… But he was too strong. I screamed as his thrusts became harder and more forceful.

“Shhhh........ Just let me do what I need to...” I sobbed as he kept thrusting inside of me, my whole body shaking from fear, just wanting this all to stop.

“Oh baby…” Ash smiled at me. “You turn me on so much, I’m already about to cum.”

"N-No..... Please...." I whimpered, shutting my eyes tightly as he thrusted harder and harder into me. I let out a moan of pain when I felt him cum inside of me, shaking from how much it hurts.

"Oh, baby doll......" He grabbed me by my face, smiling that evil smile of his. "I knew you would eventually love it." 

"No....." More tears fell down my face. "I..... I hated it......"

"That moan you let out...." He smiles, petting my hair. "It was obvious you loved it." He pulled out of me roughly, I shook, wrapping my arms around myself. "Do me one little favor......" He grabbed me by my face. "Don't tell anyone."

"W-Why?"

“You don’t want anyone to know, do you?” I shook, glaring at him.

“Know what? That you raped someone that’s three times younger than you?” I scoffed. “What would you do if I did?”

"Well......" He smiles. "I'd just have to kill you and everyone you love. Winter. Raven. Viva. Your two best friends and your girlfriend. I’d hate for anything bad to happen to them.”

“NO! Don’t you DARE touch them!”

"Then do we have a deal?"

“…. You’re fucking bluffing…. You wouldn’t really hurt them.” I growled at him.

“Do you really want to test that theory?” He grabbed me by my face. “I could easily kill you and make it look like suicide. You don’t know what I’m fucking capable of.”

Tears streamed down my face, from fear, fear of being hurt again, fear of my friends and girlfriend being hurt…. Fear from everything.

"F-Fine...." I whimpered. "We.... We have a deal."

"Good. You're a good boy." Ash ran his fingers through my hair, which I hated. "Let's do this again sometime." He put his shorts back on, then he left. 

I whimpered, looking down at my clothes that he had torn up on the floor, grabbing onto my pillow as I sobbed into it. 

Why?? What did I do to deserve that??? Grandma said my first time should be special, but that....... That wasn't special… I didn't want that at all! I said no! Why didn't he stop?! I told him to stop and get out! Why wouldn’t he stop???

I stayed in my room for three whole days. I didn’t leave for anything. Eventually, trolls grew concerned that they hadn’t seen me for so long.

A knock was heard on my door one day.

"Clay?" I recognized the voice, but I didn't respond. I ignored her, putting my face in my pillow.

“Clay? Buddy, c’mon…. It’s not like you to hide away like this…. Can you at least tell us that you’re okay?” Winter. There was something unusually calming the way she spoke, that told me how worried she was for me.

“Clay…” That was Raven. “We’re worried for you…. Can we at least talk?”

I sighed, forcing myself up after a long while, going to the door and opening it.

“Clay…” Viva looked over me. I know I look like a mess. My hair hasn’t been brushed, or my teeth. Oversized sweatshirt and pants were unkept and hanging off of me… I didn’t look like myself.

“Clay…. Are…. Are you okay?” Winter asked, once again softspoken.

“Fine….” I turned away from them.

“Brother…” Raven spoke up, the gray troll seeming bright compared to how I must look. “You don’t seem yourself…. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s not nothing, Clay.” Viva stepped up to me. “Look at you. You have dark circles under your eyes. And I know that’s not from reading a book for days on end, cuz you’d be infodumping as soon as you saw us.”

True…. Fuck, they can see right through me…

“Clay. You’ve locked yourself in here for three days. What’s going on?” Winter’s blue eyes looking scared and concerned, I looked away.

“….. I… I can’t tell you…”

“Why not?” I know Raven had no hostility behind his response. “We’re here for you, Clay… But we can’t help you unless you tell us what’s going on.”

My gaze fell, wrapping my arms around myself.

No…. He’ll hurt them… He…. He’ll kill them….

“Baby…” I jumped a little, Viva looking at me with kind eyes, holding my hands. “Talk to me…. I know you. I know when something’s bothering you.”

Looking at Viva, her kind expression and seeing how much she cared….

Fuck.

“If I tell you… He’ll hurt you….”

“Who will hurt us?” Winter voice grew with concern.

“….. I can’t….”

“Clay. If someone is hurting you, please tell us. If someone hurt you, there’s no doubt that he’d try to hurt someone else here.” Raven’s words spoke nothing but the truth.

“Okay….” I nodded, tears falling down my face. “A-Ash… He…. He fucking…. He hurt me… In a way that…. Can’t be undone…”

Viva’s eyes were staring right at me, not moving for a moment, her tail swishing back and forth quickly, I could tell her anger was quickly rising.

“What. Did he. Do?” Viva’s voice was so cold that I shivered.

“He……. He….” I shook, tears falling down my face. “He raped me…”

All three of them grew quiet. Viva showed anger. Winter showed shock. And Raven…... He showed compassion. Like…... Like he understood.

“That’s it…. He won’t live here for another moment.” Viva growled under her breath.

“Viva?” I questioned, looking at her. “What…. Are you going to do?”

“Don’t worry about it…” She gently caressed my face. “I’ll take care of it.”

And she did. She did take care of it.

Raven and I watched her and Winter from my window, Viva had beat Ash with her hair until he was out of Hole N’ Fun. I heard her scream to never come near me again, she closed the gate and that was that.

It wasn’t until weeks later that I realized that he had left something with me……

“How you feeling?” Viva asked, bringing me some tea. I had been sick for a week, my stomach feeling as if it was turned inside out.

“Still sick….” I mumbled, having not moved from my bed.

“Here…” She set the tea on my nightstand. “Hopefully this will calm your stomach down.”

“Thanks, Viv….” I sighed, taking a drink of tea, trying to stomach the crampy feeling.

Viva has been here for me more than usual for weeks, even since Ash… She has taken on the majority of the work for the golf course, with Winter and Raven’s help, so that I can rest and recover. I told her that I was fine, but she wouldn’t let me. Viva has probably noticed if I had, but my color has slightly begun to fade….

Viva reached over and felt my forehead. “Still no fever… It’s just your stomach?”

“Yeah…. And I feel nauseous…” I breathed out slowly, trying to shake the feeling.

“Clay….” She sat next to me on my bed. “Did you take anything…. After Ash raped you? Do you know if he used anything?”

“…. No… I didn’t take anything afterwards, and I doubt he used anything… Why?” I asked, curious what she was getting at.

“Clay……” She placed her hand on my shoulder. “Stomach cramps and feeling nauseous after he did that…. Do you think he could’ve gotten you pregnant?”

Pregnant? Could he……

Fuck, fuck, fuck… Shit! No, he couldn’t have, could he?? Oh my god…

“D-Do you think he could have??” I asked, scared to death. “T-That he could’ve gotten me pregnant????”

“Hey, hey…. Relax, Clay. We don’t know this for sure yet.” She rubbed my arm gently. “Let me run and get a test, then we’ll find out for sure. Okay?”

“O-Okay…...” I watched her as she stood up. “Viv?” She looked over at me. “Please…. Please hurry…”

“Don’t worry. I will.” She quickly hugged me, hurrying out the door.

Shit….

I placed my hand on my stomach, wondering if there was really someone growing in there….

Am I really going to have a baby? Shit, I’m only 15…. I’m a kid myself…

I got up from my bed, immediately starting to pace around the room, running my fingers through my curly hair. I looked at my arms, realizing that the cuts I had made last night were exposed.

Shit… What if Viva saw them???

I grabbed my wrist bands from my table, quickly putting them on so that they were covered.

I know that it’s bad and I need to stop, but…. It numbs the pain…

I looked at myself in the mirror, seeing that I was grayer than a few days ago. I sighed, leaning on the dresser, holding my forehead, and running my fingers through my head.

Ash…... He took everything from me…... My color…. My happiness…. My innocence…. My body…… Everything….

I don’t know how long I was like that, but I felt someone gently touch my shoulder, causing me to jump. I only relaxed when I saw it was Viva.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you…. Are you okay?”

“N-No….” I shook as tears fell down my face. “W-What if…... What if he got me pregnant??”

“We don’t know that for sure, Clay…” She handed me something… A pregnancy test. “Raven has tons of extras, he and Winter are still trying for that baby…” I nodded, taking the test, holding onto it for a moment before looking at Viva.

“I’m scared….” I whispered, her immediately wrapping her arms around me.

“I know…... But no matter what happens, we’ll get through this together, okay?” I nodded slowly, fresh tears in my eyes.

“Okay….” I sighed, holding onto the pregnancy test, going to my bathroom, and shutting the door.

The moments after I took the test and waited to see if I was pregnant or not was the longest time of my life. It seemed like forever….

But before I knew it, a tiny plus sign appeared on the test…. I sank to the floor.

I was pregnant with my rapists’ baby….

“Clay?” Viva knocked on the door. “Are you alright in there?” I didn’t answer, laying my head between my knees as I sobbed. Before I knew it, the door opened, and Viva was by my side in a second. She knew the answer before she even looked at the test, pulling me into her arms as I cried.

“W-What am I gonna do??” I asked, scared to death. “I’m fifteen! I don’t know anything about being a parent!”

“I know, I know….” Viva soothed me. “I know you’re scared, and that’s okay…. Listen, whatever you want to do, I’m here to support you…”

“I… I’m almost a month along…. So, I would have five more months to go if I kept it…” I thought out loud. “I could carry it…. And maybe one of the Putt-Putt Trolls would want to start a family with their loved ones….” I sighed. “I don’t think I can keep it…. I…. I’m too young…. I’m just a kid, I…. I think I want to give it to someone who can love and raise it better than I can….”

“Okay. If that’s what you want to do, then we’ll do it.”

Months passed, Winter and Raven had been sworn to secrecy. I didn’t want anyone to find out. It was growing colder, so wearing oversized sweatshirts didn’t raise any suspicions.

With careful consideration, I agreed on a family.

Clover and Smoke had been trying for a baby since we were still at the Troll Tree. They’ve always wanted a child, but it could never happen….

“Clay… Are you sure?” Clover’s green eyes were combined with happiness for her new baby, as well as sadness for me.

“I’m sure…. You guys have been wanting a child for as long as I can remember. You two deserve this baby. After…... What Ash did, I can’t take care of them…. I just…. Need someone to be a parent to them…”

“Clay… This is a very mature decision.” Smoke consoled me. “You know you’re free to be in their life.”

“No…. I… I can’t… At least not now… I… I want you two to be their parents…. Which is how it should be.”

“Okay… If that’s what you want…”

“It’s what I want."

More time passed, so did my stomach. It was getting harder to hide it since it was starting to get warmer.

Luckily, before it started to get really warm, I went into labor.

I gasped, waking up quickly to sharp pains in my stomach. I held onto my swollen bump, closing my eyes tightly.

“Clay??” Viva was up in a moment, arm wrapped around my shoulders. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I-It…” I winced from pain. “Fuck, it hurts!”

Viva gently felt around my stomach, while holding my hand.

“Are you feeling contractions?”

“I-I…. I think that’s what this is…” I hissed in pain, shutting my eyes tightly.

“Okay, okay…” Viva breathed out slowly, I could tell she was nervous. “Raven and Winter are right next door. I’ll get them, they can help.” I nodded, breathing out slowly.

“Okay…. I’m going to walk…” I told her, getting up from my bed.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes…. I need to….” I winced in pain.

“Okay…. I’ll be right back!” She rushed out of the house, running to get Winter and Raven.

Those moments that Viva was gone were agony. I felt the contractions getting closer and closer together. It was happening so quickly, I was terrified.

“Clay!” My ears twitched at the sound of Winter’s voice, quickly joined by Raven and Viva.

“How long has this been going on?” I shook my head at Raven’s question.

“I don’t know… I woke up to contractions…. They…. Feel pretty close…”

“Okay, okay…” Winter shushed me gently. “Let’s get you comfortable, I think they might be coming soon.”

And they did. As soon as they got me laid on the couch, my contractions grew more intense.

“Shh… Just breathe, Clay…” Viva took my hand in hers, doing everything she could to comfort me.

“F-Fuck, it…. It hurts!” I whimpered, squeezing her hand.

“I know, I know…” She ran her fingers through my hair. “We’re right here…”

“This is the hard part, Clay.” Raven gave me a warm smile. “It’ll be over soon.”

“O… Okay…” I looked over at Viva. “What… What if they look…. They look like… Him?”

“Whatever they look like, just.... Try to remember they aren't him. No matter what, even if it's from him.... It’s not really his baby, okay?” Viva spoke compassionately, running her thumb soothingly over my hand.

“It's not mine either, Viva.... Its…. Clover and Smoke’s….”

“I know…. But, no matter what, they'll never be like him.... You know that, right?”

I took a deep breath in, nodding slowly. “I know........”

I hissed in pain again, squeezing Viva’s hand, feeling a hard contraction.

“Clay?? How.... How bad are the contractions?” Winter questioned, kneeling right beside Viva. “Do you feel like you need to push?”

“M-Maybe......” I spoke quietly. “I.... I think so......”

As it turned out, the baby had come rather quickly. I was already 10 centimeters dilated.

“Clay…” Raven spoke up. “You need to start pushing.”

“N-Now?” I whimpered through the pain.

“Clay… You have to push, okay? We’re right here for you….” Viva squeezed my hand tighter, and I nodded slowly. Taking a slow breath in and out, I started to push.

I screamed.

FUCK!!! It hurts so much!!!

“You’re doing great, Clay! You’re doing so good!” Winter soothed gently.

I whimpered, pushing again as I screamed.

Fuck, it hurts so bad!

“Hey, hey…” Viva wiped the tears from my eyes. “You’re doing great. You’re doing so good, baby…”

“V-Viva…” I whimpered in pain. “I… I can’t do this…”

“Yes, you can, Clay.” Raven spoke up, as softspoken as ever. “You’re the heart of our home. You make this place safe for us. You’re so strong… If you can do that, you can do anything.”

“Raven’s right.” Winter smiled. “You can do this, Clay. We know you can.”

I can do this…. I can do this…

Taking in more sharp breaths in, I squeezed my eyes shut as I pushed harder.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK!!!!

“That’s it, you’re doing great!” Viva squeezed my hand once again, wiping sweat off of my forehead.

Suddenly, a shooting, burning pain was felt between my legs, I hissed in pain.

“GOD! It hurts so much!”

“Okay, Clay…” Raven spoke calmly. “Baby’s crowning. They’re almost here, okay?”

I nodded, trying to catch my breath. “O-Okay…” Squeezing Viva’s hand tightly, I kept pushing, letting out sobs of pain.

“They’re almost here, Clay. One more push!”

I screamed, pushing harder than I had all night….

Then I heard a loud, piercing cry.

My baby….

“He’s here, Clay!” Winter exclaimed, smiling ear to ear.

“…. He?” I whispered softly.

“It’s a boy!” Raven smiled, wrapping the small troll in a towel. “Do you wanna hold him?”

I nodded, holding my arms out, taking my son from Raven.

“Aww, he’s so cute!” Winter smiled, looking over my shoulder.

“How you feel, baby?” Viva pushed my hair out of my eyes.

“O-Oh my god… I just… I just had a fucking baby…” That earned a laugh out of all three of them.

“Clover and Smoke said you could name him…” Raven smiled a little. “Any ideas?”

I looked down at the little troll, him looking almost like me…

“Yeah…. I…. I want to call him… Feather.”

Feather then went on to live with Clover and Smoke, who raised him as their own. I never told Feather that I was his mother. Nor did Clover, Smoke, Viva, Raven or Winter that I was even pregnant. And it stayed that way. When asked about it, we went with the story that we found him outside the door of the Hole N’ Fun…

And nobody ever questioned beyond that. But my baby…… My baby was raised by someone else, who wouldn’t know that he was mine… It hurt, even if it was my decision…. Between Feather and losing my family….

I went gray.

The next couple of years, Viva did everything she could to make me happy again. As well as Winter and Raven. They succeeded some days. Some days they didn’t but they took the good days with the bad and helped me get my colors back again.

I felt bad getting my colors back when Raven’s wouldn’t return no matter what we did to help him. Winter makes him happy, but… It’s like he’s permanently gray for some reason…

If not for Viva, I wouldn’t have a life to live for.

Present Day

“Hey Clay?” I looked up, seeing my girlfriend in front of me, smiling that gorgeous smile of hers. “You okay?”

“Yeah….” I walked up to her, taking her hand. “Just thinking.”

“Yeah?” She smiled. “Whatcha thinking about?”

“How lucky I am to have you.” I kissed her on the lips.

“Hey lovebirds.” JD called from in front of us. “You two coming or do we need to rent you a room?”

“Oh, and like you get any action.” I teased back.

“Don’t sass me, nerd!”

“Says the Troll who studied how to be a medic until he passed out.” I laughed.

Life is good now. I have Viva. I have Winter and Raven. I have my family. Ash isn’t here anymore. We’re helping Floyd get back on his feet. Yeah…. Life is good.

Chapter Text

“Move the trolls from Hole N’ Fun here??” Poppy squealed in excitement. “That’s a wonderful idea!”

“I knew you’d think so! That way we can all keep an eye on everyone there and Clay and I don’t have to keep going back and forth!” Viva exclaimed happily.

“Ohmigosh, that means you can stay here forever!”

“And we don’t have to be afraid anymore!”

“This is going to be fantastimazing!” Both girls screamed, I covered my ears from how high-pitched it was.

And my brothers wonder why I prefer the solitude of reading by myself……

“Oh, sorry Clay!” Poppy quickly apologized. “I forget how loud I can get sometimes.”

I lowered my hands from my ears. “It’s fine… I just have sensitive ears… Not big on loud noises…”

“Same here, brother.” Raven spoke quietly from his corner.

“So, no big parties for your birthday tomorrow, huh?” Poppy asked, I looked over at Viva.

“You told her my birthday?” She giggled in response.

“Of course she did! It’s a big one too! You don’t turn 30 everyday, after all!” Winter wrapped her arm around me, smiling ear to ear.

“Viva, please….” I looked at her with big puppy-dog eyes. “Have mercy.”

“Nope, nope, and nope! You’re going to celebrate your birthday and that’s final! Come over tomorrow afternoon, we have a surprise for you!”

Perfect……

“We’ll talk more about plans for the Putt-Putt Trolls after your birthday!” Viva hugged me, kissing me on the cheek. “You get a good night’s rest, for once, because tomorrow is going to be the best day of your entire existence!”

We’ll see about that….

“Oh, I can’t wait to see what your brothers have planned! I haven’t asked Branch about it because he’s been soooo busy helping Floyd recover, but I’m psyched to see what they have planned!” Poppy rambled, getting more and more excited by the second.

“Poppy… Relax. My birthday’s not that big a deal.”

“Not that big a deal?!??!?!?!” I could see Poppy’s vein popping out of her head. “Veevs, did he just say his BIRTHDAY wasn’t a big deal??”

“Poppy. I deal with this every year, and I still make him celebrate.” Viva giggles, wrapping her arms around me. “He acts all tough, but trust me, tomorrow morning when he wakes up, he’ll be ecstatic for his big day!”

Maybe I can wish for her memory to be wiped for past birthdays so I can act like I hate them forever.

“Oh, he’d better!” Poppy held up an empty book. “I’m gonna scrapbook the entire day!”

“All that glitter is probably gonna give you brain damage.” Raven smirked a little at that.

“Whatever! It’s going to be fantastsmawesome, right?”

“Okay. I’m leaving.” I announced, starting to walk out of the pod.

“Have a good night! We’re gonna have a fantastimazing day tomorrow!” Viva smiles at me.

“Whatever you say.” I looked over at her, letting out a sigh and smiled. “Love you.” I left, hearing Poppy squeal for some reason.

“Bye Clay!” I heard Winter yell, I waved goodbye to her.

30 years old… Jesus. How did that happen?

I guess I am kind of excited about tomorrow…. Excited to see what Poppy, Viva and my brothers have planned...... It's my first birthday with them after 20 years. It could be fun, I guess....

Jeez. Viva's rubbing off on me.

"Heh...” I smiled, looking down. "Figures..." 

I eventually got home to the bunker, seeing the living room and kitchen area being empty. 

They must have gone to bed already.

I passed Floyd's room as I walked to my own, the door slightly cracked, I peaked in to check on him. He was passed out on his bed, fast asleep. 

He had his first physical therapy session today, must have worn him out, poor kid.... 

I smiled at my younger brother, walking in the room for a moment, covering him up with his blanket that fell off in his sleep. He stirred for a moment, fluttering his eyes slightly.

"Clay...." He spoke weakly. “What’re you doin’ ‘ere?” His speech was slurred from just waking up.

"Shhh, shhh, go back to sleep, Floyd..." I ran my fingers through his hair. "You need your sleep." 

"... Okay...." It didn't take long for him to fall back asleep. He was out in seconds. 

"Sleep well, little brother..." I smiled, making sure he was content and tucked in before leaving, leaving the door open a little like it was before. 

I walked into my room, sighing, and collapsing on my bed, exhausted. 

Maybe tonight I'll get a full night's sleep... According to Viva, tomorrow's going to be a big day......

The Next Morning 

I was awoken by a loud crash in the house.

“John Dory! Be careful!” I heard Bruce yell, sounding further away for a moment. I yawned, rubbing my eyes. I heard the door open, looking over to see my second-eldest brother. “Sorry, we didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s fine…” I replied with a yawn. “What was that?”

“John Dory being an idiot.” Bruce rolled his eyes. “Never let him in the kitchen again, make a note of that.”

“I was doing just fine!” JD’s voice came into view, pushing Bruce aside to defend himself. “I can make breakfast, thank you! Some things…... Just didn’t work out.”

“You’re covered in flour.” I stated, JD looked down at himself, covered mostly in flour. “Did you keep anything in the actual bowl?”

“What the hell is this???” Branch’s voice screamed from the kitchen.

“I’m going to guess ‘no.’” I rolled my eyes.

“John Dory!” Branch ran into my room. “What did you do my kitchen???”

“I just decorated it, no biggie, no need to thank me.” JD flashed his famous smile.

“It’s a mess! There is bacon grease, flour, and everything else everywhere!” Branch was fuming.

“Oh, you need a little style in your life little brother.” JD went to ruffle in his hair.

“I will bite your finger.” Branch growled.

Why is everyone in my room this early in the morning?

“My room must be a party, we better invite Floyd, he’s missing out.” I yawned again, wiping the sleep from my eyes.

“….. Were you asleep?” JD asked, I rolled my eyes.

“No, no, I’m just laying in my bed in the morning in my pajama’s because I felt like it.” I replied sarcastically.

“Wooow, I guess someone doesn’t want my breakfast!”

“What breakfast?!” Branch crossed his arms. “You cooked nothing and made five times the mess!”

“Well, excuse me for trying to do something nice!”

“Blehhhh!

“Blehhhh!”’

“Wow, so mature.” I rolled my eyes but smiled slightly.

“Come on, leave the book nerd alone so he can wake up.” Bruce ended up kicking both of them out, the eldest and youngest still bickering. “And stop fighting!”

“Quit being a dad!” JD yelled from a distance.

“Oh, I’ll show you what a dad is really like!” Bruce walked away to join the daily brotherly argument after mumbling a quick apology to me, closing the door behind him.

I sighed, rubbing my hands over my face, slowly standing up and stretching, feeling my back crack.

30 years old… I’m 30 today.

I yawned again, putting on my glasses, looking at myself in the mirror, seeing my hair was everywhere.

Holy shit…. This is worse than usual.

I grabbed a brush, trying to start brushing it, the brush easily getting caught in my hair.

“Ow…” I mumbled, pulling it out forcefully.

After 20-something years of living at Hole N’ Fun, my hair was pretty damaged and ratty from not getting the care that it needed. I guess that’s kind of my fault, I didn’t take as much care of my hair like Viva did hers.

I pulled the brush through my hair again, wincing when it pulled out several of my hairs. I sighed, pulling them out of the brush, looking at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out what to do. I could wash it, but that generally made it worse, especially trying to brush it out.

Guessing attempting to brush it and fluff it out the best I can again it is……

Grabbing the brush once again, I started at the top, brushing out the ends since they’re easier, then I brushed it straight through, not worrying about perfection, just wanting it to look like I didn’t just roll out of bed.

There. That looks somewhat better.

I sighed, smiling a little, looking down at my wrists. Old scars, ones I gave myself. I remember how I got each and every one of them. I haven’t hurt myself in 10 years… And I’m pretty proud of that. Viva’s the only one who knows, and I plan to keep it that way, at least for now.

I got dressed, doing a mental checklist that everything was done before I left my room.

I wonder what my brothers have planned…… They would always throw the best surprise parties when we were younger.

I walked into the kitchen-living area, seeing it covered in flour, eggs, batter, and just about everything else.

“Woah….” I saw Branch, arms crossed, watching JD cleaning up his mess.

“Morning sunshine.” Bruce waved at me. “Sorry for the rude awakening earlier.”

“It’s fine… I needed to get up anyways.” I smiled a little bit.

“Yeah, it’s not everyday you see Johnathan Dorain screwing up my kitchen!” I flinched a little at the raised voice.

“How many times do I have to say sorry?! And I’m cleaning it up!” John threw a rag at Branch.

“You’re preventing me from having my breakfast! It’s personal.” Branch rolled his eyes at the eldest.

“Where’s Floyd?” I asked, not seeing my immediate younger brother.

“Still asleep. He was exhausted after therapy yesterday. He’ll probably stay asleep until the afternoon at least.” Bruce commented and I nodded slowly.

That’s okay…… He needs his sleep. He’s in recovery…

I looked between the three trolls seeing that they were focused on John cleaning up his mess and not much else.

Did…... Did they forget? No…… They couldn’t have! I’m their brother, they know it’s my birthday……

“So…” I let out a shaky breath. “What are your guys’ plans today?”

“Watch JD clean up every last corner until this room is spotless!” Branch smirked at JD’s annoyed expression. “After that, not much.”

“Tending to Rhonda after I clean this up.” JD avoided Branch’s glare.

“Not much for me. Going to check on Floyd in about an hour, see if he wants something to eat.” Bruce added.

They did forget…… They…… They forgot my birthday………

“What about you?” Branch must’ve noticed my expression changed; I could see the concern on his face.

“….. Nothing much…. Probably just…. Reading…. I was going to go see Viva later on…”

“Sounds good.” Bruce nodded in approval.

They forgot…… I…. I can’t believe they forgot…… How…… How could they forget?? They…. They forgot about me……

I can’t be in here anymore….

Slowly walking away, I made my way towards the entrance to the bunker, quickly pulling the lever to go up. As soon as I was out of sight, I covered my ears and closed my eyes.

“They forgot…” I mumbled, tears in my eyes. “I can’t believe that they forgot!”

I don’t understand! HOW could they forget?? I get that Floyd is in recovery and we’re focusing on him, but…… Its my day to celebrate…... It only happens once a year and……. They don’t seem to care.

I breathed in a shaky breath, quickly wiping the tears from my eyes. I will not allow trolls outside my family to see me cry.

I closed the entrance to the hideout, running my fingers through my hair to calm down.

“Hey Clay! Happy birthday!” Biggie waved at me as he walked by, I forced a smile.

“Thanks…”

“Clayyyy, happy birthday!” Smidge high-fived me as she walked with Guy Diamond and Tiny Diamond.

“Yo, happy birthday man!” Tiny Diamond threw me a peace sign.

“Happy birthday, Clay!” Guy Diamond smiled.

“Oh, thank you….” I kept on forcing my smile.

All these Trolls remembered my birthday……… But my own brothers didn’t…... How…. How can these Trolls who I’ve barely known for a week know my birthday, but my own brothers don’t?!

I lowered my hair to cover my face a little, quickly walking to Poppy’s pod, where Viva was. I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes.

How could they forget me?

Once I got to the pod, I raised my hair up a little, knocking on the door. Poppy answered.

“Clay! Happy birth—” She saw the look on my face. “Clay, what’s wrong??”

The dam broke. Tears started streaming down my face.

“E-Everything….”

“Did somebody die??” Winter came from around the corner, clearly worried about me. I shook my head, tears still streaming down my face. “Then we can fix it… Come on.” She extended her hand towards me, I took it, going inside.

“Sit down, okay? I’ll make you some tea.” I nodded at Poppy.

I sat down on the couch with Winter, curling my knees up to my chest, my arms wrapped around my legs, quietly sobbing into my knees. Winter put her hand on my shoulder, I didn’t flinch away from her touch, trusting her.

I heard a voice, and someone sit on the other side of me. I thought it was Poppy, or Raven, but it wasn’t. 

“Clay…” The angelic voice of my beautiful girlfriend finally registered. I looked up, seeing the worry written all over her face. “Little Clover, what’s wrong?”

I whimpered, falling into her arms, and crying into her chest.

“Shhh…...” She gently rubbed my back. “It’s okay, babe…... I’m here…...” She kissed the top of my head and held me close.

“I-I-I know…” I choked back a sob as she comforted me. “I-I d-don’t understand…. I-I’m s-s-sorry….”

“Shhh, it’s okay….” Viva held me closer. “Just let it all out, okay? It’s okay to cry.”

“Clay….” Winter’s eyes were filled with worry. “What’s wrong?”

“T-They forgot!” I sobbed, holding onto her tighter. “I’m always forgotten about….”

“Baby….” Viva raised my head to look at her, wiping some of the tears from my eyes. “Who forgot what?”

I cried more, sobbing into her chest harder, her holding me closer, shushing me gently.

“Its okay… Just breathe, Little Clover….” I heard someone sit on the couch next to me as Viva spoke, my ears twitching slightly. “It’s okay. It’s just Poppy. Raven’s here, too.” I curled closer to Viva, hating for anyone to see me cry.

“Its okay, Clay.” I heard Poppy speak. “You don’t have to be afraid…”

“….. I hate crying in front of other trolls….” I mumbled softly.

“Don’t worry…” Raven spoke quietly. “Its just us… We don’t judge.”

“Crying is a real emotion.” Viva kept rubbing my back. “You know I’ve always told you it’s okay to cry.”

“I know….” I whispered, more tears falling down my face.

“Here….” Viva helped me sit up for a moment, handing me something. She must have taken my glasses off at some point because I could barely make out what it was. “It’s tea. Poppy made it.”

I carefully took the cup, sipping the tea, letting out a shaky breath.

“There you go…” Viva gently rubbed my knee. “Just relax. When you can, tell us what happened.” I took a few more sips of tea, and a few more breaths to calm me down.

“Don’t worry…” Winter looked at me, not showing any signs of impatience. “Take your time.”

“My brothers…. I don’t know about Floyd since he’s still asleep, but…. They…... They forgot my birthday….”

“What??”

“WHAT?!”

I nearly dropped the teacup, flinching at the loud yells. Viva rubbed my shoulder as an apology.

“What happened?” Raven questioned.

“They…. Woke me up with their usual antics…. Not one of them wished me happy birthday or gave any regard that today was a special day, they just… Didn’t seem to remember…. Like today was just an ordinary day, but it’s not…” More tears fell down my face. “I know I act like I don’t like to celebrate my birthday, but that’s only because I spent so long not celebrating with my brothers! I-I thought…. I thought that they would care….” I looked down, trying to wipe the tears away.

“Oh, Clay….” Viva wrapped her arms around me. “I’m sorry…. I know how much this day meant to you.”

“I just thought for one day I wouldn’t be the forgotten middle child….” I cried into Viva’s chest again, closing my eyes. “I just wanted to be loved for once…”

“I know, baby, I know.” I felt Viva look up for a moment. “Poppy, stay.”

“But they—”

“Clay needs us right now.” I have never heard her sound so serious. “We’ll worry about them later.”

“I-I’m sorry…...”

“No, no… You have nothing to be sorry for, Little Clover. None of this is your fault…” She ran her hands through my hair, her fingers catching a few tangles. “What is going on with your hair?”

“I don’t know… It was worse when I woke up…” I wiped more of the tears from my eyes. “It’s not important… I’m not worried about it.”

“But Clay…” Poppy sat next to us. “You have beautiful hair. Don’t you want to take care of it?”

“Not today….” I spoke softly. “I…. I can’t today….”

“Okay….” Viva gently rubbed my back. “That’s okay….”

“You know….” I sighed, closing my eyes. “Tons of Trolls wished me happy birthday today… Trolls that I hardly know…. Trolls that I’m too socially awkward to even say hello to… Everyone of them did…. But my…. My own brothers didn’t….”

“Oh, sweetie… That’s not your fault.” Poppy tried to comfort me. “I don’t know why they didn’t tell you happy birthday or anything of the sort, but… We’ll celebrate with you.”

“You know we’re always here for you, brother.” Raven smiled at me.

“Yeah, we’re your best friends. We’ll spend the whole day with you!” Winter sat closer to me.

“Stay here, okay?” Viva kissed my cheek, putting my glasses back on my face and going to the kitchen. I tilted my head to the side, confused by what she was doing.

She came back a few minutes later, carrying a cake with lit candles on it. I started to tear up again.

“This was going to be for tonight, but…” She sat the cake on the table in front of me. “I think you need something sweet now.”

The cake had books made out of icing on it. ‘Happy Birthday Clay’ was written on it, most of the cake being green and blue.

Viva knows…… She always knows what to do……

“Vivi….” I covered my face with my hands for a moment, tears falling down my face. “T-Thank you….”

“Make a wish, mi amor.” Viva wrapped her arm around me. “Close your eyes and wish for anything you want.”

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath before I made my wish.

I wish…… That I wasn’t invisible. That my brothers would finally notice me.

I blew out my candles. Viva kissed my cheek, and I leaned into her touch. Her sweet, gentle touch. I laid my head on her shoulder, closing my eyes for a minute. I felt Viva running her fingers through my hair, humming a song. Our song.  

“Merrily we fall out of line, out of line…

I'd fall anywhere with you, I'm by your side…

Swinging in the rain, humming melodies…

We're not going anywhere until we freeze…” I sang softly, knowing every single word. I will always know this song.

“Hey Clay…. How about we go and celebrate your birthday?” Raven suggested.

“Yeah?... Like how?” I asked him, slowly opening my eyes.

“Ooh, we could go for a walk in the woods!” Poppy exclaimed happily. “Exploring is always fun!”

“That…. Does sound nice…. Its still pretty hard getting used to everyone here, it’s kind of overwhelming… Plus my social skills are absolute shit.” I chuckled slightly.

“Don’t worry!” Wintered giggled. “Ours are, too. Twenty years away from any means of a real society will do that to you.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll work on that! Ooh, what if we had a picnic?? It’s still early, I can grab some things from the market and meet you guys out there! Ohmigosh, this is going to be so much FUN!” Before I had a chance to say anything, Poppy was out the door.

“Well, looks likes its just the four of us.” Viva giggles, holding my hand.

“The four musketeers, just like it always has been!” Winter stood on the couch, hands on her hips.

“Winter, get down. You’ll break yourself again.” Raven helped her down.

“Come on,” Viva giggled at the couples’ antics. “lets go for a walk.”

***

“Hey Floyd?” I groaned softly as someone, maybe Bruce, tried to wake me up. “C’mon, bub. At least show me you’re alive.” I sighed, opening my eyes to look at him. “Good morning.”

“Shut upppp….” I whined, putting my face in my pillow. “My body feels like it’s on fire.”

“How about you eat something? Might make you feel better.” I sighed, slowly trying to sit up.

“Something small… And nobody complains when I don’t eat all of it.” Bruce nodded in agreement.

“I’ll take it. Come on, you want your wheelchair, or do you want me to carry you in there?”

“Wheelchair…. That way I can be somewhat mobile.” Bruce nodded, carefully picking me up and setting me down in my wheelchair.

I guess this is my new home.

I slowly started to push the wheels, making my way to the kitchen.

“What the hell happened here?” I asked, seeing flour and who knows what else everywhere.

“John Dory happened.” Branch was leaning on the counter, watching JD clean up the mess. “I don’t know if you or him are worse off in the kitchen.”

“Haha, hilarious.”

“Since the stove is a no-go for now, how about some cereal?” Bruce asked, I nodded.

“Sure….” I sighed, leaning my arms on the kitchen table. “Is Clay up yet?”

“Yeah, he took off early this morning to see Viva.” John answered.

 “Ah….” I nodded. “He’s been spending a lot of time with her lately.”

“Yeah, the kid’s in love.” Bruce chuckled.

“He can be in love all he wants, so long as he doesn’t sleep with her.” JD mumbled.

“What? He’s 29, he’s a grown adult and can sleep with whoever he wants.” Branch commented with a roll of his eyes.

“Excuse you??” JD was baffled. “Grandma always told us that when we meet the right person to have sex with, you should be married or engaged at least. Right Bruce?”

“Hey, I didn’t meet anyone that I even wanted to do that with until Brandy.” Bruce sat the bowl of cereal in front of me.

“My point! You should wait, for the right person so that you can feel like royalty.”

I looked away from him, slightly glancing at Branch, seeing that he had a similar look.

“…. Wait….” JD looked between the two of us. “What’s that look?”

“I know that look.” Bruce commented. “It’s the look Clay always had when he did something he wasn’t supposed to when he was little. What gives, guys?”

“Nothing!” Branch and I both said in unison. I quickly shoved some cereal in my mouth, hoping to avoid this conversation at all costs.

“Wait a goddamn minute….” JD quickly got up, looking between me and Branch. “You two have done the nasty before?!”

“Oh my god, don’t call it that!” Branch groaned, rubbing his face with his hands.

“You have!” JD looked over at me. “Floyd…...”

“So what?” I asked, mouthful of cereal. “I consented to them! It’s not a big deal.”

“THEM?!” I flinched at JD’s raised voice. “There was more than one??”

“Yes, but never at the same time.”

“FLOYD!!!!” JD sat down in a chair. “I don’t believe it… My baby brothers sleep around.”

“Technically, I’ve only had one partner…” Branch put in his two cents.

“SHUT IT!” JD sighed, leaning back in his chair. “God, please tell me Clay is the only pure one…”

“I don’t exactly ask him ‘Hey Clay, since I last saw you twenty years ago, have you had sex?’” I rolled my eyes with a slight smile. “Besides, he seems like the type that would be pretty private about that. I wouldn’t want to ambush him, that would probably make him nervous.”

“… You have a point there.” JD admitted. “I’ll just think that Clay is innocent and you two are SINFUL!!!!” He looked over at me, seeing that I shoved another mouthful of cereal in my mouth. “Hey, be careful! You’ll choke if you keep eating like that.”

“Yeah?” I asked, an evil smile on my face. “Wouldn’t be the first time I choked.”

“EHHHHH FLOYD!!!!!!” JD covered his ears. “I don’t wanna hear that!”

“You’re such a baby.” Bruce rolled his eyes. “It’s his body, he can do what he wants.”

“Thank you, Bruce!” Branch exclaimed.

“Plus, it’s not like I’m an idiot. Except the time that I was in that diamond, I’ve been on birth control.” I admitted.

“….. How long have you been on it?” JD asked.

“I think its best for all concerned that I don’t answer that question.”

“You were young, weren’t you?”

“Not telling.”

“How young??”

“I plead the fifth.” I raised my hands up in defense.

“Oh God, you were young!! Just a little baby!!!”

“I’m 27.”

“JUST A BABY!!!” JD wrapped his arms around me in a hug, I gave the most annoyed expression I could possibly give.

“Is it too late to adopt him out?” I asked, causing the other two to laugh.

“Unfortunately.” Bruce sighed, with a shake of his head.

“Come on. John Dory, you can clean up the kitchen later after your old-life crisis.” Branch chuckled as JD looked offended at the ‘old’ part of that statement.

“I’m 13 years older than you!”

“Exactly proving my point. Old.” I giggled at his response.

“Bruce is only four years younger than me!”

“Yeah, but you’re still old.” I laughed at his expression.

“I hate you guys.” JD crossed his arms over his chest.

“You love us, and you know it!” Bruce smiled at JD’s annoyance.

I wish Clay was here… He’d be having so much fun today.

Chapter Text

“Wow…” I whispered, looking up at the sky, seeing a rainbow.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen a rainbow….

“It’s so pretty!” Viva giggled.

“It… It’s nice…” Raven looked down, the gray troll not finding the rainbow that interesting.

“Being here…... It’s so different than Hole N’ Fun… I feel so anxious and overwhelmed, but…” I closed my eyes, smiling as I felt the sun on my face. “I feel free.”

“I know.” Winter sighed happily. “When we saved Floyd, and we went out… And I felt the sun on my face… That was the happiest I had been in a long time.”

“I know how you feel…” Viva smiled. “Being there was great, we were safe, we were protected…. But the village… It’s home.”

Home…… This is really home.

“I know it’s home, but at the same time…” I sighed, looking down. “I couldn’t look my brothers in the eye this morning.”

“I know… We will find out what’s going on, I promise you.” Winter comforted me.

“And if they don’t apologize, I’ll beat them up.” Raven cracked his knuckles. “And you know I could do it.”

He can…. And will.

“Please don’t… I’m used to this kind of thing…” I looked over at her. “I’m the forgotten middle child. If you expect disappointment, you’ll never be disappointed.”

“Clay…” Viva reached over to hold my hand. “You shouldn’t feel like you’re forgotten about.”

“But I am….” I sighed, starting to stim with my fingers. “Growing up, after Floyd was born, I felt…. Abandoned… After the tunnels collapsed, I felt abandoned again…. None of my brothers were there, I felt… Like my family was gone forever… And they forgot about me again…”

“We’ll never forget you, Clay.” Raven sternly told me, so I’d know he’s telling the truth.

“I know… But they did…”

“Hey…” Viva wrapped her arm around me. “We’re your family. And we’re never leaving you.” She kissed my cheek, I smiled slightly.

“Thank you, Vivi….” I wrapped my arms around her in a hug, her holding me close to her.

“Hey, we’ve been there for each other for the last 20 years. Things may be different now, but we’re here for one another just the same.” She kissed my forehead. “I love you, Clay, I will always love you. And I’ll always be here for you.”

I smiled, slightly, looking into her eyes. Her beautiful eyes.

I’m so lucky….

“I love you too, Viva….”

Suddenly, I heard a growl, my ears twitching at the noise.

“….. What was that?” Raven asked, moving closer to Winter.

“I… I’m not sure…” Winter looked around, looking scared.

I looked around, before I found out what that noise was. Staring right at us….

Growl Beasts.

I froze, their evil yellow eyes staring right into me. Growling, their teeth bared. Looking into their eyes, I knew what they were thinking…

They were hungry….

“Run!” Viva grabbed my hand, pulling me with her, Winter and Raven right behind us as I heard the Growl Beasts chasing after us.

I held onto Viva’s hand tight, not wanting to let her go.

I could feel the Growl Beasts footsteps behind us, tears running down my face in fear.

“Keep running, Clay! Don’t look back!” I was terrified, but I kept running. As fast as my legs would take me, I ran. “In here!” We hide inside a hole in a tree, Raven barely making it as the Growl Beasts bite at his feet, digging, and biting, trying to get to us.

“Are you okay??” Winter looked over Raven, who only nodded, seeming dazed.

“V-Viva…” I shook in fear, looking at the Growl Beasts as they tried to get to us.

“It’s okay…. We’re going to be okay.” She moved closer to me, wrapping her arms around me protectively, rubbing my arm to try and soothe me.

“Viva, there’s only one way out of here…” Raven looked scared, I looked around, seeing no other exit. One entrance. One exit...... Where the Growl Beasts had us trapped.

“Then…. We’ll wait them out.”

“They’re hungry…. They won’t wait….” I wrapped my arms around myself. “They…. They’ll kill us…”

“No, they won’t.” Viva held me tighter, trying to calm my nerves. “Poppy knows where we are. She’ll find us.”

I looked at Viva, seeing that she truly believed that Poppy was coming to save us.

“I hope…. I hope you’re right….”

“Please…. Please let someone save us…” I heard Raven whisper, his eyes closed, holding Winter’s hand.

***

“BRANCH!!!” I jumped up, my younger brother’s girlfriend scaring me awake from where I was sleeping on the couch.

“Poppy?” Branch sighed, looking like someone who was used to Poppy. “What are you doing, besides scaring Floyd half to death?”

“Viva, Clay, Winter, Raven and I are going on a picnic in the forest.” She smiled. “And you’re all coming with us!”

“We are?” Bruce asked, sipping his tea. “When did we agree to this?”

“You didn’t.” Poppy grabbed Branch by the arm, pulling him towards her. “But you guys are coming with us to spend family time together rather you like it or not!”

“Hate to break it to you, Poppy… But I can barely make it through Pop Village in my wheelchair. I think the forest is out of the question.” I sighed, wiping the sleep from my eyes.

“Don’t worry! I plan on helping you with that. I think all of us need some family time, and what better way of having some time together than a picnic in the woods with the people you love the most?” Poppy flashed her famous smile; I saw Branch fall for it.

“Noooo, Branch, don’t fall for it, it’s a traaaaap!” I reached for him dramatically.

“Okay, drama queen.” John finally spoke up. “I think it’d be good for you to get some fresh air. All you do is sleep and rarely eat, getting out will be good for you.”

I crossed my arms, annoyed. “Do I get a choice?”

“Nope!” Poppy smiled. “Come on! Clay, Viva, Winter and Raven are already out there!”

I hate everybody.

I yelped in surprise when I felt John Dory pick me up and put me in my wheelchair.

“Alright, Poppyseed. We’re ready if you are.” John smiled, ruffling my hair.

“Don’t touch my hair.” I smacked his hand away, fixing my hair.

“Someone’s extra sassy today.” Branch chuckled.

“Fuck off.”

“Oh, come on Floyd!” Poppy wrapped her arms around me. “It's gonna be fun!”

“Fun...... Right.” I mumbled, looking down. “I don’t even know Winter and Raven that well.”

“All the reason to get to know them! They helped saved you, after all!”

“Come on, bub!” Bruce grabbed the handles of the wheelchair, slowly starting to push me. “It's gonna be great!”

“If you say so.” I crossed my arms, allowing him to push me in my wheelchair, not having the energy to fight it.

After a long walk, we made our way to the forest. But no sign of Clay, Viva, Winter or Raven.

“Do you think they walked around a little?” John asked.

“Clay isn't really one to wander off without reason. And Viva stays pretty close to Clay's side. I don’t know about Winter or Raven, but I doubt they’d explore a place they barely know. They don't really know this area all that well yet, they wouldn't explore it alone...” Branch commented, humming slightly in thought.

“Something had to have happened for them to wander off then.” Poppy agreed.

“Guys...” John looked over, seeing footprints, kneeling down to inspect them.

“What are those?” I asked, growing curious and a little scared.

“...... Growl Beasts....” John flicked his ears curiously. “These tracks are fresh... They're close by.”

“You don't think.... They got them, do you?” Branch's ears lowered at the thought.

“... I don't know. But there's only one way to find out. Come on." John looked over at me. “Except you.”

“What??” I glared at him angrily. “Why the hell not??”

“Because if we get in a situation where we have to run, you will not be able to.” I scoffed at the reply.

“For God's sake, John Dory, I'm fine! I'm not a baby, I can take care of myself!”

“Floyd, you could barely get up today.” John crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You're not going.”

Bruce must've sensed my anger rising, so he stepped in between us.

“John, come on. We'll all be right here beside him; he's going to be fine.”

“But—”

“But nothing. Floyd wants to go, he's a grown man, let him come with us.”

“Fine. He comes with us...” John huffed, looking at the tracks, following the scent of the Growl Beasts.

“Thank you.” I spoke quietly to Bruce.

“Don't worry about it, bub. I got your back.”

Good...... Because it's clear John Dory doesn't trust me. At all.

We tracked the Growl Beasts for awhile before we ended up spotting them.

"Shh...." John shushed us quietly, getting down so he wasn't spotted. "Look..."

Three Growl Beasts, all digging around a tree. One reached his paw into the tree, as if he was trying to grab something. I heard a scream, someone in pain...

Clay!

“Get back, beast!!!!!” A voice I recognized, Viva, yelled out, a whip of black hair, presumably Raven’s, beat them back, but the other two kept digging, trying to reach the four trolls.

“Fuck......” Branch whispered, his eyes glaring at the Growl Beasts that trapped our brother, Viva and their friends.

“This is bad....” Bruce whispered, just as worried.

“How are we gonna get them out?” I asked, the same worry filling my mind.

“We need to think of a plan......” John flicked his tail back and forth, clearly anxious. “One slip-up, and we're all dead.”

“Okay......” Branch looked around, seeing a cliff with a tree at the end of it. “JD, you and I can distract them. Bruce, you, and Poppy can get them out of there. Floyd, we're going to get you to the top of that cliff. You keep watch in case anything that we don't see happens.”

“Are you sure it'll work?” Poppy asked, scared for our family.

“It'll have to.”

“Okay, we don't have much time. Bruce, help me get Floyd up on that cliff.” Bruce nodded at John's question, gently picking me up in his arms while John got my wheelchair, swinging up to the cliff with their hair, setting me back in my wheelchair, making sure that it was locked so I wouldn't move and roll when I didn’t want to.

“Are you sure this'll work?” I questioned, growing nervous.

“It'll have to.”

***

I winced in pain, holding my arm, blood pouring out of it.

“Clay!” Winter yelled out in fear, Raven remaining quiet, staring at the blood.

“Shit, Clay!” Viva kneeled beside me, looking at my arm. “Are you okay?? He didn’t cut you too deep, did he??” I whimpered as she inspected my arm, scratched really deep from the Growl Beast. “Shhh, shhh… It’s okay… You’re okay.” She quickly took off her leg warmers, wrapping one of them around my arm, and the other to tie it off. I winced at how tight it was. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…. I know that’s tight, but I don’t want you to lose any more blood.”

She said those same words to me whenever she would find me bleeding on the floor in my room. Back when I used to cut myself.

I shook, my eyes filled with tears, from the pain in my arm, to fear of dying.

“It’s okay…” Viva wrapped her arms around me, laying my head on her shoulder. “It’s okay, it’s okay…. We’re going to be okay….”

“V-Viva….” I sobbed, holding onto her. “I-I don’t wanna die….”

“We’re not going to die.” She kissed the top of my head. “We’ll be okay…”

“Hopefully…. That beast came awfully close…” Raven shook, I could tell he was terrified.

“Viva…...” I looked at her, still shaking. “I love you…”

Before she could respond, we heard a whistle. A whistle that I knew very well.

“Hey Growl Beasts! Look over here!”

I looked up, my heart fluttering that the four of us had been saved.

“John?” I spoke quietly, my ears twitching.

“Hey beasts! Come on! Don’t you want some tasty troll????”

“Branch…” Viva held me closer, sensing that I was still scared.

The Growl Beasts looked away from us, stopping the digging. They growled, running the other way. Two Trolls ran in, Bruce and Poppy.

“Someone order a rescue?” Bruce asked, running over towards us.

“Are you guys okay??” Poppy asked, looking over the four of us. “Clay, your arm!”

“I’m fine!” I told her, getting up. “Let’s get out of here!”

“Gladly! Follow us, Branch has a plan!” Bruce explained.

“C’mon!” Viva grabbed my hand, the four of us following Bruce and Poppy.

I watched Raven and Winter, staying behind them, the two of them holding hands, refusing to separate.

Bruce took the lead, peaking outside the tree, to make sure the Growl Beasts were distracted. Once he was sure it was safe, he looked towards us.

“Branch and JD are distracting the Growl Beast. They chased two off, there’s only one out there now. We have to run as fast as we can, there’s a cliff with a tree to the left. Floyd’s up there. Once we’re there, we’re home free.”

“Got it…” Viva nodded, squeezing my hand. “We’ll follow you.”

“Let’s do this!” Poppy smiled. “In 3… 2…. 1….”

We ran. Branch and JD saw that we were free, quickly joining us.

“Don’t look back, keep running!” JD yelled, keeping an eye on all of us.

“Hair we go!” Poppy yelled, her and Branch quickly using their hair to grab the tree branch, landing next to Floyd. Then Bruce and JD went, the two of them landing safely.

“Get ready!” Viva yelled, I nodded, watching her use her hair and land safely, shortly followed by Winter and Raven.

I wasn’t so lucky.

I tried to use my hair, but it only ended up going less than halfway before I fell. Looking back, the Growl Beast was getting closer.

Shitshitshitshit!

I quickly tried again, the same consequences.

Why won’t you work???

“CLAY!!!!!” I heard Viva’s scream, I looked behind me again, the Growl Beast jumped on me.

My eyes widened in fear, shaking as I looked into the Growl Beasts’ eyes, staring right at me, inches away from me. Standing over me, his fangs bared.

“Clay, run!” Winter yelled, scared.

I’m gonna die….

He swiped his paw, his claws hitting me, causing me to go flying, I yelped in pain, feeling blood pour out from my stomach.

Tears poured from my eyes, shaking, my breathing becoming shallow. I slowly opened my eyes, seeing the beast running towards me.

No…. Please…… I don’t wanna die……

I closed my eyes, expecting the worst….

“Get away from him you beast!!!!!” I heard a whip of hair and a battle cry.

John Dory?.....

“Come on, beast! This way!” I heard another whip of hair.

Bruce….

“Get away from him you son of a bitch!” A fierce growl. “Pick on someone your own size!”

Raven….

The Growl Beast growled in anger, I vaguely saw him swipe his paws through my blurred vision, but Bruce jumped out of the way.

“Get him out of here!” John yelled.

I felt myself getting picked up. I slowly opened my eyes, seeing faded blue and purple.

Branch….

“Don’t worry, Clay! We gotcha!” I felt myself moving up, then land again.

“JD, Bruce, Raven! Come on, he’s safe!” Poppy yelled out.

After a moment, I heard two sets of feet land.

“Clay!” Viva.

I opened my eyes, blurred vision looking at my family looking over me.

“Shit…” John Dory mumbled, taking his jacket off, pressing it on my stomach. I winced in pain. “I know, I know it hurts, buddy.”

“John….” I whispered quietly.

“Shhh, don’t talk, bud.” Bruce shushed me. “Save your strength, okay?”

Someone took my hand, I slowly looked over, seeing Viva. Tears in her eyes.

No…. Don’t cry…… It’s okay……

I used my strength to squeeze her hand.

“Clay….”

“Cl… St..y A…ke….” I don’t know who said that.

My eyes fluttered.

“Clay!”

I closed my eyes.

***

Beeps filled my ears, overwhelming me. My eyes slowly fluttering opening, white lights overwhelming me just as much.

Too loud…… Too bright…… Too much!

“Hey, hey…” I looked over, seeing Viva, she squeezed my hand. “You’re okay. You’re alright.”

“V-Viv….” I whispered, shutting my eyes. “T-Too bright… Its…. Its too much!”

“Okay, okay….” She shushed me, moving over to the front of the room, turning off the lights. I breathed in a sigh of relief, opening my eyes. “Is that better?”

“Yeah…. It’s… Still loud, but…. Better…” I looked around the room, white walls, dimmed lights, beeping machines. “W-Where…... Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital.” Viva held my hand. “Your brothers, Winter, Raven and Poppy just stepped out. JD will be upset you woke up without him here.”

“I’ll fake sleep when I hear him coming.” I mumbled, earning a smile from Viva.

I looked at my arm, seeing it properly bandaged. As well as my stomach.

“…… I don’t know what happened…” I sighed, looking away from Viva. “I tried to use my hair, but…. It didn’t work. Why… Why didn’t it work?”

Viva sighed, pulling up a chair, holding both of my hands gently.

“Doctor Plum looked over your hair after she tended your wounds.” I nodded slowly, seeing that she looked scared. “You hardly used your hair while we were at Hole N’ Fun. You were one of the only ones that didn’t…...”

“What…... What are you saying?” I asked, growing scared.

“Clay….” She sighed. “Your hair is severely damaged due to lack of use. It…. May be a long time before you can use it to its full potential again.”

“W-What??” I asked, tears filling my eyes. “H-How long??”

“Months…. Maybe years. It depends on the recovery.”

Years?!

“What…. What do they do for the recovery?”

“Doctor Plum is prescribing you a cream for your hair. You have to scrub it in your scalp twice a day for a month, then you come back, and she’ll see your progress. She’ll either put you back on it for awhile or have you do exercises with your hair to help it stretch out more.”

“Okay….” I sighed, nodding slowly. “That doesn’t sound too bad…. I mean… My hair will recover, right?”

“There’s no guarantee that it will, but… Trying this will help.”

I sighed, leaning close to Viva, laying my head on her chest.

“It’ll be okay.” She kissed the top of my head. “I’ll make sure of it.”

My ears flickered at the sound of someone walking in.

“Why is it so dark in here?” The lights turned back on. I tensed up.

Nonononononono! Too much! Too much! Way too much!

“John Dory, lights off!” Viva yelled, covering my ears from the sound.

The lights quickly turned back off, I fluttered my eyes again, trying to get rid of the blinding light that flashed in my eyes.

“Sorry, bud…” John apologized, Spruce, Floyd, and Branch beside him. “Sometimes I forget about your sensitivities.”

“You’re an idiot.” Winter rolled her eyes at him.

Right. Forgets.

“Its fine…” I responded, slightly bitter.

“…. We got some good news.” Bruce smiled. “Doctor Plum said you can go home. We have to change your bandages are changed every couple of hours, so they don’t get infected.”

“Great.” I mumbled. “That sounds perfect.”

Home is the last place I want to be. Especially with my brothers. I don’t need them. I want Viva.

“….. Are you okay?” Floyd asked, clearly worried.

“Oh, I’m great.” I slightly rolled my eyes. “I was almost killed by a Growl Beast on the worst day of my life, thanks for asking.”

“Worst day of your life?” Branch asked, eyebrow raised. “How is it the worst day of your life?”

I saw Raven eye them in a ‘are you fucking kidding me’ manner that only he can give.

Do I really need to explain myself? I know it’s been twenty years, but I thought my brothers would remember my own birthday.

“Clay?” Floyd wheeled closer. “If something is bothering you, you can tell us…”

“I’m fine.”

“You may be good at masking, but we know you.” I glared at Bruce.

“Do you really?” I asked, with a scoff.

“Yeah, we just saved your life, bro.” John crossed his arms over his chest. “We care about you.”

If you cared about me, you’d think to remember my birthday.

I looked away, not wanting to look them in the eyes.

“Come on dude, don’t be like that.” Bruce tried to reason. “You nearly died. We’re just glad you’re okay. But come on, you don’t have to be jerky because we saved your life.”

“It’s not about that!” I snapped, wincing slightly at the pain in my side. “Do you think for a moment that I’d be pissed about you guys saving my life?! I am thankful for that! I’m alive thanks to you! That’s not why I’m mad!”

“Then why are you?” Floyd quietly asked.

“You don’t know?” I asked, rolling my eyes. “If you don’t know, then you’re not really my brothers.”

“Clay—” I jerked away from John’s touch.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” I growled, more anger filling me by the second. “Just…. Get out.”

“But Clay—”

“Get out!” I yelled, closing my eyes and covering my ears, not wanting to see or hear them.

“You heard him.” Raven stepped in front of my bed, standing between me and my brothers. “Leave.”

“Raven, come on—” Raven growled at JD, swishing his tail in anger.

“Leave. Or we make you leave.” Winter joined beside him, claws out.

“Guys, what did we do?” Branch asked.

“Figure it out and find a way to fix it. If you guys were smart, you’d know by now.” Raven hissed, glaring at them. After that, I watched the four of them leave. I let out a shaky breath, trying to relax.

“It’s okay…. They’re gone. It’s just us.” Viva kissed my cheek, holding me close.

“I-I don’t understand!” Tears fell down my face again. “They’re my brothers! I thought they were my family, but I have never felt less connected to them than I do now!”

“I know, I know, shhh….” She rubbed circles on my back to soothe me.

My heart broke more and more every second. I never thought that my brothers would ever forget my birthday. Their birthdays are all between February and May. And mine is in November. Six months away from Branch’s, who is the last birthday celebrated before mine.

I will never understand this… Don’t…. Don’t they love me?

About an hour later, I was allowed to go home.

“Clay—” I pushed John away, grabbing my prescription and walking towards Viva’s.

I don’t feel like celebrating anymore.

“Clay, wait!” Bruce caught up to me.

“What do you want?” I asked, annoyed.

“What’s got your hair in a twist, man?” I glared at the expression. “Sorry, shouldn’t have said that. But come on, I know you can be… Touchy. But never like this. What’s going on?”

“The fact that you don’t know that should answer itself.” I looked away from him, walking faster.

“Hey, Clay!” Bruce grabbed my arm, stopping me. “Come on man, talk to me.”

“Why?” I asked, avoiding his glance. “Shouldn’t you be headed home by now?”

“Hey, we had a deal. I go home once Floyd is better.” He put a hand on my shoulder, I jerked away. “But this isn’t about Floyd right now. Come on, bub. What’s going on?”

I’m going to punch you in the fucking throat.

“Questioning my entire life and existence, I guess.” I mumbled, crossing my arms.

“What do you mean?” Bruce half-laughed. “You’re an amazing guy! You’re Hella smart, you can read and speak seven languages, you’re dating a princess, you survived a Growl Beast and being stuck in a diamond prison! You have your whole life ahead of you, kid. You're 29—”

“I'm 30.” I interrupted, looking away.

“What? No, you're not. Your birthday isn’t for—” He looked at his watch, I saw his face drop when he saw the date. “Oh my god...... It's your birthday??? Why didn't you say anything??”

“Didn't think I had to... Thought my brothers would care enough to remember...... Guess I really am the forgotten middle child, aren't I?” For the first time in my life, Bruce was silent.

He tried to speak, but no words came out. Just a shocked and horrified face.

“…. I’m not coming home tonight…. I’m going to Viva’s.” I mumbled, walking away from him.

“Clay….” I heard him finally say something. I looked over, he said nothing else. I scoffed, walking away.

I’ll never be good enough.

***

Branch, John, and I finally caught up with Bruce.

“Is he okay?” I asked, concerned for my immediate older brother.

“We fucked up…” Bruce looked horrified. “We fucked up big time!”

“What do you mean?” Branch asked, confused.

“Today’s date! Oh my god, we ruined everything!” Bruce ran his fingers through his hair.

“What about todays—” John looked at his watch, sharing the same horrified expression. “…. Date….”

I looked at my own watch.

November 27^th. Clay’s birthday.

Clay’s birthday……

Fuckfuckfuck!

“Oh no….” I whispered, tears threatening to spill. “What…. What have we done?”

“How?? How did we— How could we—” Branch rubbed his hands over his face, clearly stressed and mad at himself. “We’re horrible brothers…”

“He’s always felt forgotten about…” Bruce spoke up. “We just made it worse.”

“What do we do?” John asked, just as horrified as the rest of us.

“We fix it.” I decided, wheeling myself away.

“W-What?? Where are you going?” John asked, quickly following me, shortly followed by Branch and Bruce.

“It’s Clay’s birthday and we’re the worst brothers ever. He needs a party.”

“A party?” Branch asked. “…. Is that a good idea?”

“It’s the best idea ever!” John exclaimed, hugging me. “You got a plan, little bro?”

“Branch, and Bruce, you two get the stuff to make the cake. John and I will burn it.” I chuckled slightly. “John, decorations. Lots of them. You may need Poppy’s help, but don’t let Clay see you. I’ll get the presents. We meet at home. Branch and Bruce will bake the cake, I’ll wrap the gifts, John, you get to decorating.”

“You got it!” John smiled, he ran in front of me, putting his hand out. I put my hand on his, Bruce on mine and Branch’s on his.

“IT’S BRO TIME!!!” We all shouted, going our separate ways to get what we needed.

Don’t worry, Clay… We’re going to make it up to you, no matter what.

Chapter Text

How could we forget his birthday? His birthday his heavily separated from the rest of us and we were kind of distracted, but…… Jeez… He has every right to be mad at us.

Gifts for Clay are a priority. He’s a big reader, so he’ll want books. Sad books. The sadder the better.

I decided to go shopping at the bookstore, figuring that’s where Clay would like his gifts from.

Wow…. This place is huge…

The bookstore was covered wall-to-wall in books, more than I have ever seen…

Maybe I should ask someone where the sad books are…… I’m not sure where to even start…

I saw a troll at the front desk, her fur was lavender with teal hair that was curled, she had mismatched eyes, her left one being green and her right being blue.

“Excuse me…” I wheeled up the troll at the front desk. “Where are your—”

“Ohmigosh!” The troll interrupted me. “You’re Floyd! The Sensitive One! From Brozone!”

Here we go……

I sighed, nodding slowly. “Yeah… That’s me.”

“I heard what happened at Mount Ragous. That must’ve been awful… Trapped in a diamond prison with no way out as you slowly start to lose your mind. And having to be in a wheelchair for God knows how long…. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.”

I looked at her as if she really thought that statement through.

Is she serious?

“Kylie!” Another troll came up to us, a male one. He also had purple fur, a little darker than Kylie’s, and light blue hair that was curlier than hers. His eyes were opposite of Kylie’s, his right one being green and her left being blue.

They must be siblings…

“Sorry about Kylie. That voice in our head that we have that tells us not to say stuff…” He paused for a moment. “She doesn’t have that.”

“Oh…...”

“She’s an idiot, but she’s a lovable idiot.” The troll laughed. “She’s the village’s registered dumbass of the century.”

“Charlie! Quit it! That’s Floyd from Brozone!” Kylie’s face was red from embarrassment. “You know, The Sensitive One! Was trapped in a diamond prison for months!”

I wish some of that information had been kept private.

“Cool. Right now, he’s a customer.”

Oh, thank God…

“What can we do for you?”

“It’s my brother’s birthday. He loves to read, and he loves sad books. Do you have a section for really sad books?” I asked, hopeful.

“Of course we do!” Kylie smiled. “Just up the stairs, over there!” She pointed across the room, stairs leading to the second story.

“Kylie!”

Stairs……

“Oh….” I spoke quietly, not seeing any other way to get up there. Only stairs.

“Don’t worry.” Charlie spoke up. “I’ll grab some books from our section and bring them down to you.”

“Thank you…”

I hate this fucking wheelchair.

“Don’t worry!” Kylie smiled. “I’m sure you’ll be walking in no time!”

I almost prefer JD’s worry and pity.

“Kylie, go restock the kids’ section.” Charlie looked over at the girl. “I’ll help him out.”

“But I—”

“Kylie, you’re my sister and I love you…. But you’re an idiot.” He gently pushed her towards the book section. “Go.” With a slight huff, she left to presumably go restock the kids’ books.

So, they are siblings… That makes sense.

“Sorry about her. She means well, she just speaks without thinking sometimes.” Charlie rolled his eyes a little.

“It’s cool… My eldest brother, John is like that.” I smiled a little. “He’s been a little… Okay, a lot overprotective since….” I motioned to myself. “This whole situation and it makes him think I can’t do anything on my own.”

“Well, that’s ridiculous. You’re a grown man, aren’t you?”

“That’s what I keep telling him! But he doesn’t listen!” I sighed, slightly irritated. “You don’t happen to have any books about convincing older brothers that you’re not an invalid, do you?

“Not currently.” Charlie chuckled. “I do have books for your other brother…...”

“Clay. My middle brother…” I smiled a little. “He’s turning 30.”

“Ooh, a big one!” Charlie smiled. “I get on finding those books for you! Have a look around, there’s a movie section behind you if you’re interested in that.”

I looked behind me, seeing the wall stacked with movies.

Clay might like that…

“Thank you.” Charlie nodded, going up the stairs to find some books. I then noticed his leg. His one leg was fine, but his right leg, from his thigh down he had a prosthetic. He only had one leg.

He…… He’s like me…

I thought I was the only one who had a disability in the village, but… It turns out I wasn’t after all.

I wheeled over to the movie section, looking at all the movies they had.

Clay needs to laugh a little… He’s too serious nowadays.

I picked up a movie, Home.

This looks cute… He might like it.

I looked through some more of the movies, finding some comedies that I hoped Clay would like, and a few sad movies that I knew he would like, including The Fault In Our Stars. It’s his favorite book, and he’ll probably love the movie.

“Alright!” Charlie came up to me, arms filled with books. “I think I got it covered.”

“I’d say so.” I laughed a little. “What’d you find?”

“They Both Die At The End.” Charlie handed me said book. “I still haven’t recovered from this one.” He handed me another. “     Bridge to Terabithia. I guarantee that he’s going to be a wreck after this one. Then I have The Boy in the Striped Pajamas…… This one is on the heavier side, he might lock himself in his room for a few days…. Or a week, like I did.”

“These all look perfect for him.” I smiled, looking through the rest of the books, making sure he didn’t have the ones that Charlie grabbed. “Thank you so much! He’s going to love them.”

“I hope so. It’s his birthday, a bookworm has to have the best gifts!” I smiled slightly at this, nodding in agreement.

He does… Clay has to have the best party… Especially after what his brothers put him through.

***

“POPPY!!!!” I ran into the pink-trolls house, freaking out, running into her dresser, knocking off her scrapbook supplies.

“JOHN DORY??? What’s the reason?!” Poppy yelled, picking up all the stuff I knocked over.

“I messed up, Poppy!” I grabbed her shoulder, shaking her. “I messed up real bad! We all did! God, we’re horrible brothers! How could I forget???? He’s my baby brother, how could I forget this?!”

“John!” Poppy held my arms to stop me from shaking her. “Relax. Tell me what happened.” I took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly.

“I forgot Clay’s birthday…. All of us did.”

“Yeah. All of us except me, Viva, Winter, Rasven and most of the village.” Poppy sarcastically put.

“I’m trying to fix things here! Don’t make me feel bad about it, I already feel horrible!” I crossed my arms with a slight scowl.

“I know. And you should. Forgetting a birthday is the worst thing that you could ever do. But a family member’s birthday?” Poppy sighed, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Ohhh, that’s unforgivable. No wonder Clay’s so upset.”

“Poppy!” I stepped back slightly. “We’re all trying to fix this! I could use your help.”

“How?” Poppy crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow.

“I need decorations! LOTS of them!” I smiled, hoping to get her on board. “I was thinking we set them up by the beach, since Clay loves the water, and we could have the party there!”

“You’re throwing a party for him?” I nodded at her question. “Alright. I’ll help you. But remember, you forgot his birthday and made him cry. I’m not going to be Miss Nice Poppy. Got it?”

Cry…… We… We made him cry?

“Come on, let’s get a move on! What kind of theme were you thinking?” Poppy dragged me by my hand.

“Books. He loves books. I thought maybe something like that?”

“If anyone knows what to get, its Sky Toronto.” I raised an eyebrow.

“Sky Toronto as the guy who owns The Funtime Factory?”

“Yeah!” Poppy smiled. “You know him?”

“I know of him. Branch said he built a vacation home right by the hideout one time.” Poppy giggled.

“Yeah…. Branch wasn’t exactly happy. He even tried to run the factory without Sky, and that…. Was a disaster.”

“… What kind of disaster?”

“A story for another time disaster, now…” She grabbed my hand again and started running. “Let’s get to decorating!”

We ran all the way to the factory, well, Poppy ran, I was dragged. I was out of breath by the time we got there.

I’m never having kids.

“SKY!!!!” Poppy screamed once we got there. “We have an emergency!”

“Queen Poppy, pleasure as always.” The gold glitter troll welcomed. “What can I do for you?”

“We have a party emergency!” She leaned over the counter, whispering to him. “A forgotten birthday.”

“A forgotten birthday?” Sky asked, slightly surprised, maintaining his serious persona. “Who forgets a Troll’s birthday?”

“Not important!” Poppy slammed her hands down on the counter. “We need party supplies!” She smiled. “And lots of them!”

“The bigger and louder, the better!” I joined in, a smile on my face. “Only the best for my brother!”

He’s getting the biggest, the loudest, the most amazing party decorations ever!

“Umm, JD….” Poppy put her hand on my shoulder. “Are you sure that’s a good—”

“Give me all you got, Sky!” I smiled. “The most amazing party supplies you got!”

“So, I assume you want streamers?” He asked, I nodded quickly.

“Yes!”

“Balloons?”

“Yes!”

“Party blowers?”

“YES!!!”

“How do you feel about fireworks?” I smiled, excited to give Clay the best party ever.

“The louder the better!”

“John, I really think—”

“Your orders in. I put it on an emergency rush. Give them 20 minutes.” I smiled at Sky’s quick order abilities.

“You’re the best, Sky Toronto!” I exclaimed, happily.

“So, I’ve been told.” He adjusted his tie. “Excuse me, I have matters to attend to.”

Sky left, Poppy looked over at me. “Are you sure about this?”

“About making this the best birthday party ever?? Heck yeah I am!”

“No, I mean about—” I interrupted her.

“Thanks for your help, Poppyseed! This is going to be the best day of Clay’s life!”

“Oh…” She put a hand on my shoulder. “It’s cute how naïve you are.”

Me? Naïve? What could she possibly mean by that?

***

“Bruce…” I sighed, mixing the cake batter. “How could we forget?”

“I don’t know, Branch…” Bruce was making the cake icing. “I really don’t…. The look on his face, I…. I had never seen him that upset… He was really hurt.”

“And he still is…” I looked down. “We really fucked up, didn’t we?”

“Language.” Bruce scolded, I responded with an eye roll. “But yeah…. We did.”

“He’s always been a little snippy, but… I’ve never seen him that angry.”

“I know….” Bruce sighed; he stopped mixing the icing for a moment. “You didn’t see the look on his face, how…. Hurt he looked…”

“I can’t even imagine… I may have been isolated from the village, but…. They at least cared enough to remember my birthday…” I ran my fingers through my hair. “We’re awful brothers… Aren’t we?”

Before the band broke up…… None of us would have ever forgotten a birthday.

“I think….” Bruce thought careful on how to word his statements “Clay has always felt a little excluded. He keeps to himself most of the time, and I think it kind of has to do with being ignored. Being hidden away in a village for most of his life doesn’t help either. The kid doesn’t know how to interact with other trolls besides the trolls at Hole N’ Fun, our family, Winter, Raven, Poppy, and Viva.”

“Not to mention how long he went without a shower or any kind of proper hygiene….” I sighed. “Do you think his hair being so matted was what caused him not being able to extend it?”

“Maybe….” Bruce shook his head. “He went a long time without a proper civilization. Or a bath. Or any real socialization. I know he had the Hole N’ Fun, and that was good for him, but…. It was more like a job for him. Viva had fun there. That’s why she’s not as shy around trolls. We need to help Clay see that he’s safe.”

God…. I knew I used to be bad off and Floyd needed serious mental and physical help, but…… I never considered that Clay needed it too.

“We’ll help him.” I decided, picking up the spatula to mix the batter again. “We’re brothers. And brothers stick together.”

No matter what.

My ears twitched, hearing the elevator shaft move, I looked over and saw Floyd.

“Hey Floyd!” Bruce welcomed. “How’s it going?”

“Got everything I need.” He held up a book. “Sad books for Clay.” He held up a movie. “And sad movies, I got some comedy ones too cuz, c’mon. He needs to laugh a little.”

“Nice work. The wrapping paper is in the cupboard over there.” I pointed in the living room. “Help yourself.”

“Sweet.” He sat the gifts down on the couch, wheeling over towards the cupboard.

I looked at the mixing bowl, seeing that it was perfect to go into the cake pan.

“How many layers are you making?” Bruce asked, looking at the batter. “I’m just saying, that’s a lot of cake batter.”

“Four.” I told him, getting the cake pan. “Four layers for four very sorry brothers.”

“Good thinking.” Bruce chuckled as I poured the batter.

After I finished pouring the batter into the pan, I heard a crash. Bruce and I quickly turned around to see Floyd on the ground, and his wheelchair a good few feet away from him.

“Floyd!” Bruce and I quickly ran over to him, art supplies and wrapping paper everywhere.

“Are you okay?” I asked, putting a hand on shoulder.

“NO!” He pulled away from me, tears forming in his eyes, looking up at the top cabinet. “I just wanted to get the green one…”

I looked up, seeing the green wrapping paper.

He wanted to get it for Clay…

“It’s his favorite color…. He’s had the worst day ever… His presents deserve to be wrapped in his favorite color…”

“Don’t worry, bud. They will. Let’s get you to the couch, and you can start wrapping the best presents ever.” Bruce slowly helped Floyd up, his legs shakily wobbling.

I grabbed the green wrapping paper from the shelf, along with a blue one with green and blue bows, plus tape.

“Thanks Branch…” Floyd spoke softly. “I’m sorry…”

“Hey, you’re fine. You have nothing to apologize for.” I placed the wrapping supplies on the couch, Bruce carefully helping Floyd sit down.

“Exactly.” Bruce ruffled his hair. “Just remember that you can ask for help, okay? There’s no shame in that.”

“I know…” Floyd sighed, picking up one of the books, beginning to wrap it carefully.

I looked at Bruce, exchanging a worried look, the two of us walking back to the kitchen. I turned on the oven to pre-heat it so the cake could go in.

“I’m worried.” Bruce whispered; I looked over at him. “He wants to do things himself and be independent, which is fine on its own, but… Some things he just can’t do by himself…”

“I know…” I sighed, watching the timer on the stove, waiting for the oven to go off. “But if we bubble-wrap him, he’s going to get more defensive. He’s already not happy. We don’t want to make it worse.”

“I know that, but… He just fell trying to get wrapping paper off the top shelf… That’s concerning.”

“It’s also only been a little over a week since we got him out of that bottle. He needs time to recover. And a little patience and understanding. JD is worse about being overbearing, but I see it from you too.” Bruce tried to say something, but I stopped him. “You know it’s true. You’re not overbearing like he is, but you struggle when it comes to him. You want to do things for him, he doesn't like that.”

“Then what should I do?” I smiled a little at his response, my ears flickering as the timer went off.

“Be there for him.” I put the cake into the oven. “Let him try things out for himself. If he looks like he needs help, ask him. If he says no, back off a little, but still stay by him. Even if he says no to needing help, that doesn't mean that he doesn’t need it.”

“Okay….” Bruce smiled a little. “I guess you’re right… It’s John Dory we have to convince to back off.”

“I know…” I crossed my arms. “He’s going to be harder to convince.”

Maybe we could lock John in the bathroom until Floyd is better.

I heard the elevator shaft move again, I looked over, seeing John Dory.

“Hey, hey, hey! Johnathan Dorian in the house!” He seemed happy.

“You got the decorations?” I asked him.

“Yep! Everything’s set up and decorated! Right by the beach, by the water! Clay loves water!” I nodded with approval.

“Good thinking. Cakes in the oven, Floyd’s working on presents. All we need is the birthday boy.”

“And to frost the cake.” Floyd added, putting a bow on one of the presents.

“Don’t worry!” JD smiled. “We’ll have everything ready just in time!”

I hope Clay likes this…… I don’t expect him to forgive us, but… Maybe he’ll be happy again.

***

“Hey…” Viva gently put her hand on my shoulder. I was laying on the couch with her, my head in her lap. My eyes were closed, feeling somewhat relaxed with her as she rubbed my back and played with my hair. “How you feeling?”

“Still hurt…” I spoke quietly. “And betrayed… I still don’t understand…”

“I know….” She gently kissed the top of my head. “It’s not fair to you. You don’t deserve this….” She looked at me, seeing the tears in my eyes. “Oh, Clay… Come here…” She brought me closer, I softly sobbed into her chest, wrapping my arms around her.

“I’m always forgotten about…” Viva played with the ends of my hair gently. “Apparently that’s my job, the forgotten middle child…”

“Hey…” Viva gently caressed my face, trying to wipe my tears away. “I’ll never forget about you.” More tears fell down my face, leaning my head on her shoulder. She held me close, singing softly.

“There are thieves, who rob us blind.

And kings. Who kill us, fine.

But steady, the rights and the wrongs.

Invade us, in innocent song.

I'm not ready.

I'm not ready.

For the weight of us.

For the weight of us.

For the weight of us.

For the weight of all of us.

There's a cold heart, buried beneath.

And warm blood, running deep.

Secrets are mine to keep.

Protected by silent sleep.

I'm not ready, I'm not ready.

For the weight of us.

For the weight of us.

For the weight of us.

For the weight of all of us.

The time has come, let us be brave.

The time has come, let us be brave.

Shake off all of your sins.

The time has come, let us be brave.

The time has come, let us be brave.

Let us be brave, let us be brave.”

I let out soft and relaxed purrs, curling up to her. I felt…. Happy… Happy that she was in my life.

“Does your side hurt still?” I nodded slowly. “A little… My arm too…” she gently moved me so she could look, inspecting my side and arm.

“We might have to change the bandages again. I don’t want them to get infected.” I nodded slowly.

“Can you do them?” I asked, looking into her eyes. She smiles, gently kissing my forehead.

“Of course. Do you want to do your hair cream too?” I nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll be right back, okay?”

She left to go get the stuff to change my bandages and put in the hair cream. I wrapped my arms around my legs, resting my head on my knees, letting out a shaky sigh.

I don’t deserve her…… She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I…. I don’t deserve all the goodness she has to give……

“Hey Clay…” I was startled a little bit at the sudden touch on my shoulder, but relaxed seeing it was Viva. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” She sat next to me, placing her hand on my back. “You just zoned out a little bit.” She smiled, taking my hand. “Its okay.”

I hate when I do that…

“C’mere…” She sat closer to me. “I’m going to do your arm first. Okay?” I nodded, watching as she unwrapped the bandage, cleaning it, which stung like a bitch, and rebandaging it. She did the same with my side. “Alright. That feel better?” I nodded slowly.

Viva must have noticed that I wasn’t talking, she gently brought me close in a hug, kissing my cheek. “It’s okay to not be okay.” She whispered. “I’ll always love you. And I’ll always be here for you.”

I let out a shaky breath, more tears filling my eyes. I leaned back, moving my hands in front of my chest to sign to her.

“Thank you. Love you.” She smiles at me.

“I love you too, my little clover.” She kisses my forehead again. “You want your hair cream now?” I nodded. She stood up so that she was behind the couch, me sitting properly on it so she could get to my hair properly. I heard her squirt some of the cream into her hands, starting to scrub and layer it into my hair. I snuffled at the smell of it. “I know, it doesn’t smell very nice, does it?” I shook my head, wrinkling my nose in disgust. “Don’t worry. Hopefully you won’t have to stay on this very long.” Viva finishes scrubbing the cream into my scalp, going to the kitchen to wash her hands.

My head started to itch… Bad. I whimpered, moving my hands, very irritated, starting to itch my head.

It’s so itchy!

“Hey, hey.” Viva came back, lowering my hands. “Don’t itch. Doctor Plum said it’s very itchy for the first fifteen minutes, but afterwards it calms down a little bit. But you cannot itch it, okay?”

I whined, closing my eyes tightly, the only thing I could focus on being the goddamn itching!

“I know, I know it’s irritating.” She sat beside me. “Come here.” I sighed, laying my head in her lap, she gently ran her fingers over my head, slowly starting to give me a head rub. “Just relax…. You’re safe with me.” I purred, closing my eyes, Viva’s touch starting to relax me. “There you go…. You need to relax more, baby. You’re so tense…”

Tense? I’m not that tense, am I? I don’t feel like I am, but… Am I really?

“Shhh….” Viva traces her fingers along my back. “Just relax… Don’t worry about anything, okay? I’ll take care of you…”

I froze, remembering his words…. His words from 15 years ago….

“Don’t worry…. I’ll take care of you….”

I was up like a shot, startling Viva, I whimpered, falling off the couch, scooting into a corner, covering my ears, and shutting my eyes tightly.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!” Tears were streaming down my face at this point. “Get him away from me! Don’t let him touch me!”

“Clay, Clay!” Viva kneeled across from me. “You’re okay. Nobody’s going to hurt you.” I flinched away when she tried to hold my hand, moving further away.

“N-NO! Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t touch me!” I sobbed, falling down to the floor so I was on my side, still holding my hands over my ears. “Don’t let him touch me!”

“Hey, hey…” I opened my eyes slightly, seeing Viva laying on her stomach in front of me. “Nobody’s going to hurt you. I won’t let him hurt you anymore.”

“N-No! He’s going to hurt me again!” I wrapped my arms protectively around my chest. “I-I don’t wanna be hurt again!”

“That’s not gonna happen, baby.” She slowly scooted closer to me. “I promise. I won’t let him.”

I shook, letting out more sobs from fear. “I-I don’t wanna be touched like that ever again…... Feeling his… Hands on me… That…. Was the most terrifying moment of my life…. I… I don’t wanna relive it!”

“You won’t.” Viva was right in front of me, kindness in her eyes. “I promise. I’ll be right here to protect you. Nobody is going to hurt you.”

“You promise?” I asked, more tears in my eyes.

“I promise.” She extends her hand towards me. I looked at her hand, and at her. I knew that Viva, the most beautiful girl in the world, could never hurt me. I took her hand. She held mine tight. “I love you so much, Clay. No matter what, I’ll never let anybody hurt you.”

“T-Thank you…” I slowly got up, wrapping my arms around Viva. “I don’t deserve you…”

“You deserve the world…” She held me close, rocking me gently. “Don’t worry… As long as I’m here…. No one can hurt you.”

I sobbed into her chest, she held me closer, kissing the top of my head.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but after awhile, there was a knock on the door, my ears flickered in curiosity.

“Stay here.” She kissed my cheek. “I’ll see who it is.” I nodded, curling up in a ball again, trying to give myself the hug pressure that Viva was giving me before.

I heard talking at the door, Viva sounding a little upset…. Maybe? I wasn’t sure… This went on for a few minutes, before Viva came back.

“Clay…” She kneeled in front of me, I looked up at her. She wasn’t alone. Poppy was beside her with Winter and Raven…. As well as my brothers. I tensed up again.

I don’t wanna see them!

“Hey, it’s okay…” Viva placed a gentle hand on my good arm. “They just want to talk.”

“I don’t wanna talk to them…” I mumbled, looking away.

“Clay…” John started, I glared at him. “We wanna show you something.”

“No. Go away.”

“Clay, please?” Floyd asked nicely, giving me his famous puppy dog eyes. “I promise you’ll like it.”

Curse you and little brother privileges….

“No. I don’t want to talk to any of you. Go. Away.” I turned away from them, not wanting to look at them at all.

“Clay…” Bruce knelt beside me. “I know we messed up, and I know there’s no way you’ll forgive us right now, but please… Do this one thing for us? If you don’t like it, you can come back here.”

“….. And you’ll leave me alone?” I asked, Bruce nodded.

“We will.” Branch spoke up. “I promise.”

“And if they don’t, I’ll beat ‘em up.” Raven winked at me, a slight smile on his face.

“You know you mostly threaten to beat trolls up, but never do it.” Winter giggled.

“Shut up, I’m tough.”

I sighed, nodding slowly. “Fine. I’ll go.” I growled lowly, standing up, immediately standing close to Viva’s side.

“Great! Let’s go, little brother!” JD tried to wrap an arm around me, I flinched, quickly moving away.

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” I warned him, a glare in my eyes.

“No touching…” JD nodded slowly. “Got it.”’

Raven stood between me and JD, glaring at the eldest troll.

Thanks, Raven…

“Come on guys!” Poppy smiled. “You’re going to love this, Clay!” I smiled slightly at the Queen’s energy. The one out of two trolls that I wasn’t currently mad with.

We walked for awhile, me stay close to Viva, not wanting to leave her side.

We stopped, seeing that we were close to the beach.

“What are we doing here?” I asked, arms crossed.

“We thought we’d go swimming! You love the water, right?” JD asked and I sighed.

“Oh, John…” Winter sighed, shaking her head. “You’re an idiot.”

“What’d I do?” JD threw his hands in the air in defense.

“I love the water. I hate sand.”

“W-What??” JD looked petrified.

“The sand between your toes, getting everywhere and burning your private areas?” I scoffed in reply. “No thank you.”

“If you were his brothers and really knew him, you’d know this.” Raven rolled his eyes, arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Well….” Branch looked just as scared. “How about we at least go to the water? When’s the last time you’ve been swimming?”

“With this hair?” I asked, motioning to my curly hair. “Yeah, not happening. Plus, Viva just put my hair cream in. I don’t think I’m supposed to wash it out for awhile.”

“Clay…” Floyd looked at me again with those damn eyes. “Please?”

Why do I always give in to him??

I growled, crossing my arms. “Fine.”

Everyone smiled, quickly walking ahead of me, Floyd rolling beside me as I walked beside Viva, Winter and Raven behind me.

I hated the feeling of sand between my toes, it immediately started to make me feel itchy. But looking around…. I understood why they wanted me out here. The place was fully decorated. Streamers, balloons, party hats. A table full of presents and cake. A big banner that read; ‘Happy Birthday Clay’ My eyes widened, my heart fluttering the more I took it in… It was a party…. For me…

“W-What….” I looked at my brothers. “What’s all this?”

“We’re sorry… We forgot your birthday.” Branch looked down, clearly feeling terrible.

“We didn’t mean to… After everything that’s happened, we just forgot…” JD sighed.

“And your birthday is so separated from all of ours… We didn’t mean to forget you.” Bruce gave me a half-smile.

“But none of that is no excuse.” Floyd looked like he was about to cry. “You’re our brother. And we love you. We never meant to forget, it just… Happened. Can you forgive us?”

I looked around the party, seeing all the thought they put into it, tears filling my eyes as I quickly walked over to whoever was closest, which happened to be Floyd, I leaned down and wrapped him in a hug. Floyd was surprised, smiling a little.

“Is it okay if I hug you back?” I nodded, my younger brother wrapping his arms around me.

“Group hug…” I spoke up, looking at my other brothers.

“Really?” Bruce asked with a smile, I nodded. They all quickly joined me.

“This is not a regular thing, so don’t get used to it!” I laughed a little, JD ruffling my hair.

“Hey, we’ll take it, little brother!” Bruce smiled, hugging me closely.

This…. This is all I wanted. To be loved by my brothers.

“Awwwwww!!!” Poppy, Winter and Viva squealed happily.

“Ughhh….” Raven rolled his eyes. “Love and affection. Gross.”

“Oh, you love it, and you know it!” Winter giggled. “You sure did last night.” That comment immediately shut him up, his whole face going red.

“Okay.” I tensed up a little bit. “That’s enough.” They all respected my decision, immediately letting go.

“Clay… Can I ask you something?” I nodded at Branch. “Why… Why didn’t you tell us it was your birthday? Or that your birthday was coming up?”

“I…. I don’t know… I just thought…. That you’d know…” I sighed.

“Can I be honest?” Poppy spoke up. “I think lack of communication is what happened here. Clay, you could’ve said something about your birthday. Branch, Floyd, JD, and Bruce… You guys had to have known something was off, and asked Clay about it.”

She…. She has a point.

“I’m…. Not good with other trolls…” I admitted. “Communication is hard for me, it’s hard for me to tell if someone is happy or sad at times… I guess I never thought to tell you guys and just assumed that you forgot and that was the end of it.”

“And we could have paid better attention.” Bruce agreed. “We’re sorry, Clay. We won’t let anything like this happen ever again.”

“Thank you…” I smiled a little. “I just wanted to celebrate with my brothers. For us to be a family again. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Us too…” Branch smiled at me. “I’ve missed you guys so much… I just wanted us to be a family.”

“Me too…” Floyd smiles, tears in his eyes. “I’ve missed all of you.”

“I may have a family now, but… I thought of you guys every single day.” I smiled at Bruce.

All of us looked to JD, seeing that he was on the verge of tears.

“What?!” JD crossed his arms. “A grown man can’t have feelings??”

“They can.” I nodded. “But seeing it from you is weird.”

“Okay, birthday boy.” He smiled, shaking his head. “Let’s get this party started! Let’s get you blowing out your candles so we can have some cake!”

A loud noise caused me to flinch, JD had a party blower.

Right…… They’re still getting used to my noise sensitivities… But they went through all this trouble, I… I don’t want to ruin it…

“Come on, let’s party!” JD grabbed my hand, leading me over to the cake, sitting me down in a chair. The others quickly followed, Branch lighting the candles. “This is a big birthday for you! 30 years old! God, can you believe that?”

“You’re turning into an old man, Clay.” Floyd giggled.

“You got three more years, then you’ll be 30, little brother.” I teased, causing him to stick his tongue out at me. I repeated it, the two of us making faces at each other.

“I’m glad you guys are still mature at your age.” Raven sarcastically commented.

“Tell that to someone who cares, old man!” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Fuck you.” He flipped me off.

“At least my celebrity lookalike isn’t Dory from Finding Nemo!”

“Uncalled for!” Raven’s cheeks puffed out, like every time he gets angry.

“Children, children!” Winter got our attention. “Clay, you’re turning 30, not 3. Now blow out your fucking candles, asshole.”

Branch put out the lighter, looking at me. “Make a wish, Clay.”

I closed my eyes, thinking.

Wish… I have my brothers. Viva and my best friends… Floyd’s safe. We’re moving the putt-putt trolls here…. I have everything I ever wanted… I don’t need anything else.

I opened my eyes, blowing out all my candles, causing the others to applaud.

“All right!” JD smiles. That knowing smile. That ‘I have a plan’ smile. “I have a little surprise…”

“Surprise?” Poppy asked, confused.

“What kind of surprise?” Branch asked, just as confused.

“I’ll show you!” JD grabbed something from his pocket, pressing the button.

Explosion and bright lights happened in the sky. My worst fear…

Fireworks.

“John Dory, no!” Raven’s voice was filled with anger and fear.

The brightness burned my eyes, the loudness hurt my ears.

I recoiled, flinching back, covering my ears, and shutting my eyes tightly.

The noise… The brightness… God, the SAND. Too much! Too much! ALL TOO MUCH!!!!

I ran.

“Clay!” Viva called after me, worried.

I kept running. It wasn’t long before I felt the plush of the soft, green grass again. I was still close to the fireworks, but I ended up tripping over something, so I stopped. I extended my hair as much as I could, wrapping it around myself, in hiding. I was shaking. I knew I was. I was scared.

Tears filled my eyes again, covering my ears more from the loudness of the fireworks.

Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!

I was hyperventilating at this point. I tried to calm my breathing, but… I couldn’t. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn't calm down….

I was alone….

Chapter Text

“Clay!”

“Clay!”

“Clay, where are you??”

I heard my name being called… Viva, Winter, Raven…. The fireworks had finally stopped, but they still rang through my head. My eyes felt like they were on fire. The noise rang through my head, over and over, my ears hurting and my heart pounding from how loud it was.

I scratched my wrists, tears streaming down my face, sobbing into my knees, still hidden by my hair.

“Clay!” I flinched at the loudness that was John Dory’s voice, he was so close, I was still shaking. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know that would scare you so much! Come on out, buddy… I promise, we’ll be quiet.”

I didn’t move, covering my ears, not wanting to hear John say anything else. I heard a yelp from John Dory.

“You’ve done enough.” Raven growled, I heard him shove John Dory. “In what would do you think having fireworks for someone who flinches at loud noises was a good idea?!”

“He has a point.” Floyd commented, a bit snippy.

“It’s okay, Clay…” I heard Viva kneel in front of me, slightly seeing her through my hair. “The loud noises are gone. You don’t have to hide.”

I stayed where I was, wrapping my arms tighter around myself. I saw my brothers and Poppy through my hair too, I tensed up, shaking even more in fear.

Don’t look at me, don’t look at me, don’t look at me, don’t look at me, dontlookatme, dontlookatme, DON’T LOOK AT ME!!!!!

“Guys….” Viva spoke up. “Can you leave us alone for a minute?”

“But Viva—”

“He needs me and only me right now.” Viva glared at John. “Leave. Now. Go to the bunker. We’ll meet you there.”

“You heard the lady. Move your asses.” Raven growled lowly, escorting them all away from us.

“We’ll see you later, Clay…” Winter spoke softly. I acknowledged her slightly as I saw her walk away.

“It’s okay, Little Clover…” Viva sat right in front of me after everyone left. “They’re gone... It’s just us.”

I’m not okay…… It’s not okay……

“Shhh… Clay….” She spoke softly. “You’re shaking so much, baby…... Do you wanna come out? I can hold you.”

“N-N-No…...” I managed to say, wiping some of the tears from my face.

“No?” I could see a slight smile on her face. “That’s okay. Take a few minutes, as long as you need. I’m right here, baby.”

I took in a shaky breath, letting it out slowly, my arms, and most of my body, still shaking.

Damnit…... Why am I like this? I wish I wasn’t like this…… I ruin everything……

“Hey…” I felt Viva slowly stroke my hair where I was hiding. “It’s okay. Nobody blames you. Absolutely nobody.”

“I-It’s my fault…” I sobbed quietly. “T-They made that party just for m-me an-and…... I ruined it…”

“You didn’t ruin a thing. If anything, John Dory ruined it. He knows you hate loud noises. I think he needs a mental check when it comes to you guys and what you like and don’t like.”

“…. I hate loud noises…. And bright flashing lights… They…. They scare me.”

“I know….” I shook some more, even more tears falling down my face. “Clay… Do you need a cuddle?”

“I…... I don’t want to let my hair up…” I confessed. “I want to feel safe…”

“Well…. How about if I join you? And hold you?” I looked through my hair, seeing her smile.

I thought for a long time about this, before nodding, slowly parting my hair. She slowly came through, sitting next to me, I quickly closed my hair again, so I felt safe. She slowly wrapped her arms around me, I leaned on her shoulder, tears running down my face.

“It’s okay…” She gently kissed my cheek, rubbing my head gently. “I’m right here….”

I don’t know how long we stayed like this, Viva whispering sweet nothings to me as she held me. I eventually felt safe enough to put my hair back up. Slowly, I let it go, letting it rest in its natural position.

“There you go…” She kissed my forehead. “You okay?”

I nodded, wrapping my arms around her, leaning my head on her chest.

“Okay…. Good.” She smiles, gently rubbing my back. “Do you want me to tear it into John Dory? Or should we all hang out at the bunker, and I just stare at him until he’s physically uncomfortable?” I giggled a little at her response. “There it is!” She tickled my stomach, causing me to giggle even more. “There’s that laugh that I love so much!”

“Viva!” I tried to stop her from tickling me. “S-Stop!”

“Oh, come on, Broccoli Boy! You need to laugh some more!” Viva tickled me some more, while also being careful not to touch my bad side or arm.

“Okay, okay!” I giggled, holding my hands up. “I’ll laugh more! I promise!”

“Oh yeah?” She inched closer to me. “How do you prepare to promise that?” I looked into her eyes, wondering what she had planned. “Hmm…. I know!... How about a kiss?”

“W-Well….” I smiled a little. “Sure…”

Viva purred a little, leaning forward and gently kissing me on the lips. I closed my eyes, kissing her back, her lips tasting like sweet cotton candy and bubblegum. She wrapped one hand around my back and the other on my good side, holding me close.

After a few moments of us kissing, Viva slowly moved so that she was on top, me now laying on the soft grass under us.

“You tell me if you want to stop, okay?” I nodded slowly as she kissed my face all over, gently holding my hips. Worried that someone may catch us, I looked around nervously. “Hey, it’s okay…” She gently caressed my face. “Nobody’s around. It’s just us.”

“Okay…” I nodded slowly, trusting her, and relaxing slightly.

“There you go…” She kisses me deeply. “Just relax. It’s just you and me.”

“It’s just you and me……”

His voice rang through my head again….

No… Ignore it. You’re fine. You’re with Viva. Only Viva.

She kissed me more, from my face down to my neck, I let out a slight moan.

“That feel good?” She kept kissing my neck, I let out a slight sigh, closing my eyes as I tried to relax some more.

“That feel good?”

STOP! It’s not him! It’s her. It’s Viva. Viva, Viva, Viva! It’s not Ash, and it never will be!

“You okay if I go a little further?” I looked into her eyes, knowing that she wouldn’t hurt me.

“Yes…” We kissed again, Viva slowly moving her hand to my chest, then to the ends of my shirt, slowly taking it off.

He pulled my shirt off, then my pants. I fought, but he wouldn’t let me win.

NO!!!! Stop remembering that day! You’re not there anymore!

She kissed my chest for a few minutes, until she slowly was at the waistband of my pants. She looked at me, as if asking for permission.

You can do this… I WANT to do this…

I nodded at her. She has my consent.

Viva slowly pulled my pants down, until they were completely off.

You’re okay… Viva won’t hurt you.

She kissed down my thighs, her kisses getting closer and closer. She slowly spread my legs apart, she looked at me once more for permission.

I nodded again.

Consent once again given, she scooted closer.

You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay…

She gently held my legs, rubbing them reassuringly.

She’s not Ash, she’s Viva….

She moved closer, her head between my legs.

She’s not Ash….

She slowly licked my vagina. I let out a moan. It… Felt good, but… Wrong.

She’s not Ash, she’s not Ash, she’s not Ash, she’s not Ash!!!!!

This continued for a couple of minutes. Then I couldn’t do it anymore. I was shaking.

“S-Stop!” I whimpered, scooting back, wrapping my arms around myself, tears in my eyes once again. I quickly grabbed my clothes, suddenly feeling exposed, putting them on, and wrapping my arms tighter around myself.

“Hey, hey…” Viva was by my side in seconds, worry filled her eyes. “I’m sorry… Were you uncomfortable?”

“I…” I wiped some tears from my eyes. “I’m not sure… I-I…. I kept thinking about…” I paused, scared to even say his name.

“….. Were you thinking about…. Him?” I nodded slowly, more tears falling down my face.

“I-I’m sorry! I know you’re not him and I know you’d never hurt me, I thought I could do it, but I just—”

“Hey, hey… Breathe.” Viva gently rubbed my back. “This kind of thing is very intimate. Both of us have to want to do it. If you don’t want to, that’s okay. We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

“B-But….” I looked over at her. “I want to…. I know we’ve done it before, but…. I kept hearing his voice…” I choked back a sob. “He’s ruined everything, Viva! It’s been 15 years, and he’s still ruining my life!”

“Shhh, shhh….” She gently shushed me, wiping the tears from my eyes. “I know…. It’s not fair.”

“I don’t like to talk about it…” I whispered. “Especially if I told my brothers, they… I don’t know how to tell them! I was just a kid…”

“You don’t have to tell them anything if you don’t want.” Viva gently held my hand. “This can be our secret if you want it to be.”

I don’t want it to be… I want to tell them, I’m just…. Terrified. Of reliving that moment…

“If I tell them about Ash…” I sighed, looking at her. “I’d have to tell them about my son…”

Viva was silent, sadness in her eyes.

I don’t like to talk about Ash. But I will to Viva, and occasionally Raven and Winter…. The son that I lost because I was too young and didn’t get to raise… Fuck…  

“Ash ruined me, Viva…... He… Made me go grey… Made me cut myself… Made me…” I shook my head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. “I…. I didn’t want that to be my life… Even after the band broke up and we had the Hole N’ Fun…. I was somewhat happy. We were just kids back then, but we built ourselves a home…  And Ash…. He…. Made me lose everything…” Viva squeezed my hand. I looked over at her.

“You didn’t lose me.” I smiled a little, moving closer to her, laying my head in her lap. She ran her fingers through my hair, kissing my forehead.

“…. I love you, Viv…. You always know just what to say.”

“You’re my best friend, and my boyfriend. I love you more than anything. Which means that I’m always there for you, lovebug.” I looked up at her.

“Is… It okay if we keep… Anything above kissing… To a minimum for now?” She nodded, moving my hair out of my face.

“Of course, baby.” She kisses my forehead. “Whenever you’re ready, just let me know. And if you’re not, that’s fine too. I just enjoy being with you, Clay. We don’t have to have sex. Sex isn’t everything. I’ll be right here for you, okay?” I smiled, leaning into her.

“Thank you….” I whispered quietly, feeling myself getting all talked out for the day.

We stayed like this for a little while. Viva just holding me, soothing me. Loving me. Treating me like I matter.

I felt my eyes starting to flutter shut, letting out a yawn as I fully closed my eyes.

***

I looked down, seeing the sleeping green-haired boy in my lap. I smiled at how peaceful he looked.

This is the most relaxed I’ve seen him in a long time…

“Let’s get you home…” I whispered, gently picking him up, carrying him bridal style.

Clay snoozed softly in my arms, I smiled, kissing his cheek, walking towards the bunker/hideout.

John Dory, if you don’t realize what a dumbass you are, I’m sticking some of those unused fireworks right up your ass and setting them off so you can be the world’s first exploding butt firework.

I pulled the lever for the bunker, holding Clay closer to me.

No matter what John Dory says, I’ll defend you.

“Viva!” John was the first to talk to me, noticing a sleeping Clay in my arms. “Is he okay?”

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask your alleged firework display?” I growled at him, gently laying Clay down on the couch, pillow under his head, covering him up with a blanket, watching Winter for a moment as she spread it out so it was over him completely. I turned to John Dory. “Are you an idiot?? No, let me rephrase that. You’re an idiot!”

“Clay flinches when I drop a fork in the kitchen.” Branch’s arms were crossed. “What made you think fucking fireworks were a good idea?!”

“Language.” Bruce lectured, causing an eyeroll from Branch. “But he has a point…. We know Clay sensory sensitivities. Why did you think fireworks were a good idea?”

John sighed, crossing his arms. “I missed out on all of your birthdays. 20 years’ worth of birthdays. I planned to make a celebration for each one of you for something that you all love.” John looked down. “But I forgot Clay’s birthday… We all did, except Viva and Poppy…. I panicked… I wanted his birthday to be perfect. And you guys love fireworks and balloons and streamers and all the loud stuff…. I guess in all the excitement, I forgot that Clay doesn’t…”

“He flinched at the party blower.” Raven glared at him. “Surely that could’ve been some fucking indication that he hates loud noises.”

“I know…. I was stupid… But we can make it up to him.”

“How?” I asked, eyebrow raised.

“He hasn’t opened his presents yet… Tons of books and some movies… How about a movie night?”

I looked over at the sleeping troll, seeing how exhausted he looked and at peace he was.

“He’s sleeping. Let him sleep.” I told John, sitting by Clay, running my fingers through his hair. “He hardly sleeps much as it is.”

“You’re right…” John sighed. “I feel bad we only celebrated his birthday for less than half a day…”

“That never would have happened if you had remembered his birthday in the first place.” I glared at him. “He was looking forward to this day. He was excited. I haven’t seen him that excited in a long time. And you all forgetting his birthday of all things? You broke his heart. He has always seen himself as the forgotten middle child, and every single one of you just confirmed that.”

John went quiet, as did the rest of the brothers. I knew they felt awful, but I was naturally protective of Clay. Of course I’m going to be mean if it means defending him.

Clay stirred a little in his sleep, I looked down at him, seeing his eyes flutter open.

***

I opened my eyes a little, letting out a yawn.

Where… Where am I?

“Hey, Clayday…” I’d recognize that voice anywhere.

Viva……

“You feeling okay?” Raven asked, I nodded slowly, giving him a thumbs up.

“… You all talked out?” Winter quietly asked, I nodded at her question. I brought my hand to my chest, signing. “Sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Viva gently held my hand. “You know you don’t have to apologize for that…”

“I know. Still feel bad…” I looked down.

“Clay! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you!” I flinched at how loud JD was, covering my ears.

“John!” Bruce whisper-shouted, using his hand to tell him to quiet his voice.

“Sorry…” John looked back at me, more compassion in his eyes. I uncovered my ears. “I didn’t mean to scare you….”

“Then why did you?” I signed to him, slowly and alphabetically, so he could read it.

“I… I wanted you to have the best birthday ever…. And… We forgot it.” John sighed, kneeling beside me.” I had this plan to give all of you the best birthdays ever… And I forgot yours… I’m so sorry, Clay… I never meant for this to happen.”

“None of us did.” Bruce sat by my feet.

“You… Forgot… Me….” I slowly signed, eyebrows furrowed.

“We know…” Floyd looked down. “And we’re so sorry…”

Sorry?... For what? Me being always forgotten about?

“How about we make up for the fireworks escapade?” Branch suggested. “You haven’t opened your presents yet… How about it?”

I looked up at that, a little bit curious.

“I’ll take that as a yes!” Poppy giggled. “Present time!”

In moments, I was presented with many gifts, which were wrapped neatly in green and blue wrapping. The green presents being wrapped with blue bows, and the blue presents being wrapped with green bows.

“Floyd did the wrapping.” Branch smiled, sitting across from me. “He made sure that they were your favorite colors.”

He did…… He did that for me?...

I looked over at Floyd, seeing his smile. I managed to smile back at him.

“Here…” Floyd picks up one of the presents, giving it to me. “I have a feeling you’ll like this one.”

I took the present from Floyd, growing curious. I slowly started to open it. It was a book, The Outsiders.

“Have you read this one yet?” I shook my head at Floyd’s question. “I actually read it during my solo career. You might like it.”

I read the back of the book, smiling a little. I looked up at Floyd, signing a ‘thank you’ to him.

The rest of my presents were similar. I got tons of sad books and some movies. Some were sad, but some I could tell were comedies. The last one I opened was one from my favorite book, The Fault In Our Stars.

“Can we watch it?? Please?” I gave my brothers big eyes, causing Bruce to laugh.

“Alright, I’ll make popcorn.” Bruce ruffled my hair a little, heading towards the kitchen.

“What’s this even about?” John asked, looking at the movie.

“Should I tell him or wait to traumatize him?” Raven whispered to me and I smiled, holding up 2 fingers, letting him know to go with the second option.

“Will we need tissues for this?” Poppy asked me, I nodded.

“Alright, let’s get this over with.” Branch winked at me, letting me know he was joking. He popped in the DVD, sitting by Poppy on the couch, Viva moved over by me, I leaned on her. Winter sat on the other side of me, and Raven sat on the floor.

“Raven, there’s a free chair if you don’t want to sit on the floor.” Branch offered.

“I’m fine.” Raven spoke quietly.

Odd….

“Alright, movie time!” Bruce handed me a bowl of popcorn, him sitting on the other side of me.

Branch hit play.

45 minutes in, John was losing his mind.

“What is this movie, dude??” He looked at me like I had three heads. “You like this stuff?!” I put a finger to my lips, singling him to be quiet. “No! This poor girl is sick, she wants to go on this trip with the boy she clearly likes to meet an author she will never get to meet again! And she’s sick, she won’t get this opportunity again!”

“John, shut up and watch the movie.” Branch threw popcorn at the eldest, causing me to laugh.

Another 20 minutes later, he was happy again.

“Hell yeah! They get to meet Peter Van Houten! This is going to be awesome!”

Who’s gonna tell him?

“What the hell is up with this guy? The tortoise and the goddamn hare?? Seriously?”

“Hazel Grace, I’m sorry, I have no idea what’s going on.”

“Yet you seem so intelligent in print, Mr. Waters. Has the cancer found its way into your brain?”

“WHAT?!” John was oozing angry at this point. “Who… Who the hell says that to cancer kids?!”

“If anyone ever said that to our cancer kids back at Hole N’ Fun, we’d be having problems.” Viva spoke up, I nodded in agreement.

“Your cancer kids?” Branch asked, raising an eyebrow.

“There’s a few kids at Hole N’ Fun who are sick. We take care of them. We have a few trolls looking after them right now, but we plan to check on them when we go to tell them about the move.”

“I didn’t know you guys were doing that…” Bruce commented. “That’s amazing.”

“We’ve been taking care of them for the last fifteen years…” Viva sighed. “Some of them are…” She looked down. “They’re close to dying…”

“Holly.” I signed. “She’s 15. I’ve been looking after her for 10 years. She has lung cancer… She…… She’s strong, but… I don’t think she’s going to make it for much longer.”

“These kids…” John looked at me. “You’ve gotten close to them…”

“Which means it’s going to hurt a lot when they pass…” Viva sighed. “When we know they’re not going to make it…. We set up a nice room for them. We both sit beside them, along with any family they might have, and we just sing to them… Sometimes they pass while we sing to them. It’s just…. A way for them to pass away quietly…”

“Wow…” Poppy spoke quietly. “That’s amazing of you guys… It takes incredibly strong trolls to do that kind of thing.”

I nodded at Poppy, letting her know that I appreciated her.

“Speaking of that….” Raven spoke up. “We were thinking of leaving to go check on the Putt-Putt Trolls.”

“You’re still hurt, Clay. And I know Viva won’t leave your side, this way we can check in on them and fill them in on moving here.” I nodded slowly, thinking about this.

“Not a bad idea…” Viva hummed softly. “When were you thinking about leaving?”

“Tomorrow…” Raven spoke quietly. “They’re probably getting anxious.”

I looked at Viva and nodded, letting her know that I agreed.

“Alright. Come back as soon as you can, okay?” Viva smiled at them both. “We care about you guys.”

“We love you to, Viva!” Winter giggled, poking Viva in the shoulder.

“I fell in love with him the way you fall asleep… Slowly. Then all at once.”

John Dory reached over, covering Floyd’s eyes.

“John, what are you doing??”

“This is a naughty scene! Branch, cover your eyes!”

“For all that is Trolly, they’re not even showing anything!” Branch exclaimed, motioning to the TV.

“They’re showing enough!”

“You realize I’ve seen worse than this, right?” Floyd pushed John’s hands away. “I’m not a child.”

“You’ll always be my baby brother…” John smiled. “Now cover your eyes!”

“You’re ridiculous.” Floyd pushed John away again.

He’s seen worse and done worse, I hate to break poor old John Dory’s heart.

“Agustus Waters died eight days later in the ICU.”

“NO!!!!” John yelled, scaring me. “What do you mean he dies??” I threw a tissue box at him, wiping tears from my own eyes, Gus’ death reminding me of a kid I lost a few years ago…

“That’s how it goes, John…” Viva wiped away tears from her own eyes. “All around you… Everybody dies.”

“That…. That’s not fair….” Floyd wiped tears from his own eyes. “They’re just kids!”

“Why do you like this again?” Bruce asked, trying not to cry.

“I like to make myself depressed.”

“….. We should talk about that.” Branch commented, tears threatening to spill from his own eyes.

There’s nothing to talk about. I’m fine.

The movie ended, not a dry eye in sight. I ended up lying on Viva’s lap, my eyes fluttering, nearly falling asleep.

“Alright, I think it’s time for bed.” Viva patted my leg, I groaned in response, not wanting to get up.

“Yeah…” Raven yawned. “We should get home anyways… Since we’re headed to the Hole N’ Fun tomorrow.”

“After this?!” John asked, clearly distressed. “How the hell am I supposed to sleep after that?!”

“Figure it out, John Dory.” Branch commented, waking a half-asleep Poppy. “Do you guys need a ride there?”

“Yeah, we were thinking balloon.” Winter smirked.

“Balloon?” Raven groaned. “I hate heights.”

“Too bad!”

I yawned, feeling myself being picked up by Viva.

“You’re going to bed. The moment you get sleepy, to bed.” She smiled, patting my back.

“Good night, Clay. Happy birthday.” Floyd yawned, waving at me. I waved back.

“I love you.” I signed to him, earning a smile.

Viva sat me on my bed, handing me my favorite sleep shirt and shorts to change into.

“I love you.” She kissed my forehead. “Goodnight.” She turned to leave. I gently grabbed her hand. “…. You want me to stay?” I nodded.

“Please?”

She smiles, waiting until I’ve changed and got into bed, before getting in with me. She wrapped her arms around me, I laid my head on her chest.

“Did today turn out better?” I nodded at her question. “I know it wasn’t perfect. I know you haven’t fully forgiven them…. And I know you’re not properly healed yet, but don’t worry.” She kissed the top of my head. “I’m here. I’ll always be here to help you. I know there’s some things you just can’t talk about yet, and that’s okay. I’ll be here for you.”

I smiled, curling closer to her, she wrapped her tail around my back, and I did the same with mine.

“I love you, Viv…” I whispered quietly, closing my eyes.

“I love you, Clayday…. I’ll always be here to protect you… I promise.”

With that, I knew she was telling the truth. I knew she wasn’t lying. With her, I felt content. I closed my eyes, knowing that I wasn’t in any danger.

I was safe.

Chapter Text

“Clayyyy?” The singsong voice of my girlfriend woke me up. “It’s time to get up, sunshine.”

“Nooooo….” I whined, curling up with my blanket. “Need sleep…”

“Come on, babydoll.” Viva kissed my cheek. “It’s time to get up.”

“No…” I wrapped my arms around her, closing my eyes. “Comfy…”

Viva giggled, ruffling my hair. “You don’t wanna sleep all day, do you?” She kisses my cheek.

“Sleeeeep…….” I yawned, closing my eyes.

“Come on…” She got up, uncovering the blanket, I whined, covering my head with my pillow. “Get up!” She grabbed my feet, dragging me out of bed.

“Viva!” I was dragged to the floor, eyeing Viva.

I have never felt more betrayed…

“Good, you’re up. Branch is making breakfast.” She kissed my forehead, skipping out to the living room.

I lightly growled, blowing my hair out of my eyes.

Yawning, I slowly got up, heading towards the kitchen.

“Good morning, Clay!” JD smiled at me, I waved, still half-asleep. Poppy and Viva were talking amongst each other, Branch was finishing up making breakfast, Floyd was drinking his morning coffee, and Bruce was making tea.

“He’s not awake yet, John.” Viva giggled. “Give him twenty minutes.”

Make that twenty-five.

I walked around the kitchen counter to make my coffee, hitting my leg on one of the drawers.

“FUCK!” I hissed in pain, slightly limping for a moment from the pain of running into it.  

“You do this every morning.” Branch commented, humor in his eyes.

“Shut up.” I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

“You’ve always been a little clumsy.” JD chuckled. “Especially when you were little. You never really knew where to put your feet. You were always falling over everything.” He and Bruce laughed at the memories.

“Oh, you think that’s funny?” I asked, eyebrow raised.

“Quite alot, actually.” Bruce smiled.

I hate everything.

I grabbed a coffee mug, pouring my coffee into a cup. I need my anti-murder juice.

“Heyyy John…” Viva smiles, a sweet not look on her face. “Can you do us a favor?”

“…. That impish look scares me.” John eyed her. “What do you need?”

“Could you maybe…. Give Clay and I a ride to Putt-Putt village with Rhonda?”

“…. Why?”

“It’s been a few days since Winter and Raven left, I’m getting worried about them...” I commented, giving John the classic little brother eyes. “Plus, you know…. You kinda owe me for forgetting my birthday…. And scaring the shit out of me with those fireworks….” Viva smiled, knowing exactly what I was doing.

“Ugh, fine! God, I hate when you do that…” John crossed his arms. “That shouldn’t still work at your age.”

“Well, this time three days ago, you thought I was still 29, sooo…” I smiled, taking a slow sip of coffee.

“You are evil!” John glared at me.

“I have to traumatize you back, it’s only fair.” Viva burst into a fit of giggles at that.

“Can I come?” Floyd asked, I nodded.

“Sure.”

“No.” I looked over at John’s immediate response.

“John, come on.” I scoffed lightly. “He wants to go, let him go.”

“He can barely get around the village, let alone the Hole N’ Fun!” John stressed. “What if something happened??”

“Um, the Hole N Fun is alot more protected than this village.” Viva pointed out. “Plus, we have trolls with medical knowledge, including me and Clay. Plus Raven can kick anyone’s ass!”

“Raven can’t beat up anyone, he’s faking it!”

“Talk like that about my best friend again, and you’ll know what a busted ass feels like….” I threatened, glaring at John.

“…. Whatever!” John scoffed. “Floyd’s disability is super rare! Nobody’s even heard of it before!”

“Can I say something?” Floyd asked, all of us looked at him. “If you all could not talk like I wasn’t here, that would be great.” He glared at John specifically. “I am very well aware that I’m in a wheelchair. I’m very well aware that I will need help with certain things, but do not baby me and treat me like an invalid!”

Floyd was steaming mad. I’ve only seen him mad like this a couple of times… It is scary when Floyd gets mad.

“Floyd…” John sighed. “Listen, as of right now, there are things that you just can’t do. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth.” Floyd didn’t take his glare off the eldest.

“No. The truth is that you’re fucking overbearing! You don’t let me do anything by myself! I’m 27-years old! I’m an adult, I can make my own decisions!”

“I am not overbearing! I’m protecting you!”

“From what, exactly?” I cut in. “You haven’t been protecting us for the last 20 years. Why do you want to protect him, us now?”

“Guys…” Bruce sighed. “It’s not that simple.”

“Then explain it…” Branch spoke up.

“It’s not that easy to explain!” John lost his temper. “It’s more complicated than any of you know!”

“Then tell us why!” I yelled, slamming my fists down on the table. “Tell us why you wanted Bruce to only be The Heartthrob! Tell us why I only had to be known as The Fun Boy! Once Floyd and Branch were old enough, were you going to force them to be one thing too?!”

“You don’t get it.” John accused. “You had no idea what kind of pressure I was under!”

“What kind of pressure you were under?! What about us?? I never wanted to leave, I at least stayed in the troll tree until Viva and I were separated, but you just left!” I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “We were fucking kids’ man! Little kids!”

“You were never just kids! You were my kids! After Dad left and Mom died, I took the responsibility for you guys!”

“Nobody asked you to do that!” I growled lowly. “What if we just wanted to be a family?? Have you ever thought of that?!”

“I had to provide for the family! That’s what Brozone was! To make some money so we could live!”

“Why was that on you?! We lived with grandma!”

“She couldn’t keep up with five kids! Especially after mom died! Someone had to step up!”

“And that someone was you?” Bruce asked, eyebrow raised.

“Yes….” John’s fists were clenched tightly. “I had to be the parent and the brother at the same time. You all were just kids, even you, Bruce… You weren’t even a teen yet… It was my job to protect all of you.”

“And you still left.” I glared; arms still crossed. “For years, right? The tunnels didn’t collapse for years. I saw no sign of you.”

“…. I didn’t do the best job, I know that.”

“Yeah?” I asked, stepping up to him. “What else do you know? Do you know how bad your abandonment affected us?! First Dad… Then Mom… And then you. How do you think that felt?”

“Okay, Clay…” Bruce tried to cut in. “Take it easy.”

“No…” I spoke quietly. “Tell me John Dory. Do you have any idea what any of us actually went through?”

Ash. The cutting. Depression. Going grey…

My pregnancy.

He has no fucking idea.

“I don’t know, but…. Surely it isn’t that bad?”

“John….” Viva spoke in warning.

“Not that bad?! Not that fucking bad, huh??” I started yelling again. “Since you know everything about me, I’m sure you know all about my trauma!”

“You really don’t know, John…” Floyd spoke up. “You don’t know what any of us had to do to survive.”

“I know Bruce got married, you had your solo career, Clay’s a co-leader at the Hole N’ Fun and Branch has a girlfriend and apparently saved the Pop Trolls from Bergen’s.” JD crossed his arms, as if that was all there was to it.

“…. That’s it? That’s all you think happened?!” I was in his face now. “You show up and tell us what you think you know about us! You have no idea what I’ve been through!”

“Why don’t you just tell me?” John asked, I screamed in frustration.

“Because you won’t understand!”

“Help me understand!”

“What’s too understand?! That I was so depressed and hated myself so much that I nearly took my own life?!”

The room was silent. All eyes were on me.

Don’t look at me, don’t look at me, don’t look at me, don’t look at me……

“Clay…” John reached out to touch my arm, I backed away. Far away.

“Bub….” Bruce spoke up. “You…. You didn’t try and kill yourself…. Did you?”

Stop staring at me, stop staring at me, stop staring at me, stop staring at me!

I instinctively started scratching my wrists.

Keep scratching. Harder. MORE. Hurt yourself more!

“Clay…” Branch slowly stepped closer to me, I backed away, shutting my eyes.

Don’t listen, don’t listen, don’t listen, don’t listen!!!!

 “Clay, it’s okay—” I didn’t bother to hear the rest of what Floyd said. Feeling the tears forming in my eyes, I ran. To the elevator, pulling the lever so it went up. I heard my brothers calling my name, but I ignored them.

God, why did I say that?! They’re going to find out! About my self-harm, going grey, about Ash, my pregnancy, ALL OF IT!!!! I don’t want them to know!

As soon as I was above ground, I ran. I ran as fast as I could. I didn’t know where I was going, I just needed to get away.

You know you’ll never be good enough for your big brother…

For any of them.

Or for Viva.

You’ll never be good enough for her.

“No….” I whispered, trying to block out the voices in my head. “It’s not true!”

You might as well start trying to end it…

It’s been so long.

Scratching your wrists felt good, right?

“Stop it!” I smacked my head with my fist, trying to block the words out.

You know it’s true.

Your brothers now know you almost killed yourself once.

Why not prove you could do it again?

“STOP IT!!!” I tripped, falling straight onto my face and stomach. I sighed, not even trying to get up. The world was blurry anyways, my glasses having fallen somewhere further, not able to see where they even went.

“Hey, are you okay?” I heard a voice… I recognized it, but I wasn’t sure. I looked up. Still not able to see very well, but I could just make out what they were.

A Bergen.

Immediately, I backed away, scooting as far away as I could.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you.” My heart was beating fast, still terrified. 20 years of fearing Bergen’s doesn’t go away after two help save your little brother. “Hey… Are these yours?” He gently picked something up off the ground, putting it in front of me.

I looked at the ground, squinting to see what they were, I reached out, seeing that they were my glasses. I put them on, still shaking. I looked at the Bergen, seeing that it was none other than King Gristle. The very one who helped save Floyd.

“Thank you…” I spoke quietly.

“No problem… You’re Branch’s brother, aren’t you?” I nodded slowly.

“Yeah… I’m Clay… You’re King Gristle.” He nodded.

I’m talking to a Bergen and he doesn’t want to eat me…

God, what is this reality?

“I thought so,” He kneeled down so we were having a proper conversation. “You seem upset… Is everything alright?”

“Not really…” I scratched my wrists again, repeatedly. “Where am I?”

“You’re in Bergen Town.” I let out a shaky breath.

“Bergen Town?”

“Yep. My Kingdom.”

“Right…. You’re their King….” I spoke quietly, scratching my wrists more.

“Do you always do that?” Gristle asked, I looked up at him in confusion. “Scratching your wrists.”

“Oh….” I mumbled, putting my hands down. “Sometimes…. I… I do it sometimes…”

“If you do that too much, you could hurt yourself.” I sighed, nodding slowly.

“I know… Its either that, or I slit my wrists with a knife…”

“Have you done that before?” I froze at his question, looking down. “I’m going to take that as a yes.”

“Look…” I spoke up. “I don’t know you. You don’t know me. No offense, but why do you care?”

“Because my wife is Poppy’s best friend. And Poppy is your brother’s girlfriend. Branch and Poppy have been part of our lives for awhile now. Poppy was Bridget’s Maid Of Honor at our wedding, and Branch was my Best Man. They’re important to us, and you’re important to them. That makes you important to me and Bridget.”

I guess that makes sense……

“I’m fine, no matter what anyone says…” I sighed. “Yeah, they forgot my birthday and that hurt… Alot…... And my eldest brother put so much pressure on me for years to only be ‘The Fun Boy’ in our boyband. But that’s not all I am! I’m in a sad book club! I’m a licensed CPA! I’ve taken care of sick kids for years, and that’s not easy.... I’ve seen kids… Die… Really…. Die…” I breathed in and out slowly, looking down.

“That must be hard…” Gristle sighed. “We’ve had sick kids in Bergen Town, but… I’ve never seen them die.”

“It’s hard… Especially when you grow attached to them… Which I always seem to do...”

“You form friendships…. Then you lose them.” I nodded in response.

“That… Probably plays a part in my mental health.” I ran my hands through my hair, still ratty from how damaged it was.

“You said a part… Is there… Anything else you’d want to talk about?”

“Remember…… It’s our little secret…”

I tried to take a breath in, my arms shaking.

You deserved it, you deserved it, you deserved it, you deserved it, you deserved it!

“Hey, are you alright?” I held my hands over my ears, shutting my eyes tightly. “Hey...” I felt him lightly touch my shoulder, I quickly jumped away, curling up in a ball.

“Don’t touch… Don’t touch me…. Don’t touch me like he did…” I softly mumbled without thinking.

“…. Like who did?” I curled up in a tighter ball at his question.

“N-No…. Only Viva knows…. My brothers don’t know….” I whispered, still shaking.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

“Don’t know what…” The King’s eyes widened. “Did…. Did someone hurt you?”

I nodded slowly, not wanting to say anything.

“Did…. Someone touch you…. Sexually?” I shut my eyes tightly, nodding again. “Shit… I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve that.” I looked at him, confused. “We Bergens might have been sad and miserable for 20 years, but we draw the line at sexual assault. We actually hang a rapist for their crimes. Worse if they hurt a minor.” I looked down again. “Oh God…. Were you a kid?”

“Yes…” I spoke quietly. “I... I was fifteen… Only Viva knows, please, don’t tell my brothers or Poppy, I-I want to tell them myself… When I’m ready to tell them…”

“Okay, okay… I won’t tell them.” I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank you…”

“Clay!” Fear grew inside me when I heard my name being called, quickly hiding myself in my hair.

“Hey, what are you—” Gristle stopped talking for a moment, I saw him look somewhere. I shut my eyes.

“Clay…” I recognized the voice. “It’s okay. It’s okay, Clayday.”

Viva…

“You better not have scared him more than he already is…” I heard Viva growl lowly.

“Hey, I didn’t do nothin!”

“He didn’t, Viv….” I spoke quietly. “He talked to me… He’s okay…” I let my hair go back to its natural state, looking into Viva’s eyes.

“You’re okay?” She asked and I nodded, she looked at Gristle while gently taking my hand. I could tell she was nervous around him. I don’t blame her. “…. Thank you for taking care of him.”

“Hey, any family of Branch’s is family of mine.”

“Come on…” Viva helped me to my feet, her brushing the dirt off me. “Let’s go home.”

“I’m not going back there…” I spoke quietly. “Not today, at least.”

“Okay…” Viva rubbed circles around my hand. “You wanna head back to my pod? We can have some you and me time?”

“Yeah…. That… Sounds nice…” She smiled, squeezing my hand before looking at Gristle. “Thank you again.”

“Not a problem.” He waved as we left.

Viva wrapped her arm around me, holding me close.

“You wanna talk about what happened?”

“I…. I didn’t mean to say that…” I spoke quietly. “That’s not how I wanted them to find out.”

“I know…” Her voice was soft and full of care. She always knows how to match her voice to how I’m feeling. “I already told John Dory off… With what happened with Floyd and how he spoke to all of you.”

“He treats Floyd like a baby…” I mumbled. “He can do stuff, he’s not an invalid.”

“I know… We need to do something about that.”

“And we will. When me, you and Floyd go to Hole N’ Fun. Without John.” I decided, earning a look from Viva.

“Are… Are you sure?” I nodded.

“I need some space from him… And I know Floyd does, too.”

“Alright…” She took my hand again. “If that’s what you want to do, then we’ll do it.”

I swear, some days I could tell her that I wanted to travel to space, and she’d figure out a way to make that happen… She’s just so… Amazing.

“I love you, Viv…” I held her hand close to me.

“And I love you, my little clover.” She kissed me on my lips, I wrapped my arms around her.

Viva… She will always be my one. My only… My everything.

///

“It's some kinda love, it's some kind of fire.

I'm already up, but you lift me higher.”

Watching the show from Mount Ragous that everyone was talking about was me trying to keep up with everyone.

“You know I'm not wrong, you know I'm not lyin'

We do it better, we do it better, yeah”

Four trolls on screen, all of them clearly brothers. Backed up by three girls and a boy, two of them sisters, the other two a couple. I knew three of them personally.

“And I don't mind if the world spins faster.

The music's louder, the waves get stronger.

I don't mind if the world spins faster.

Faster, faster.”

They started to dance. I saw one single troll with nearly white hair, he was trapped with Velvet, a superstar.

“Just let me take you to a better place.

(Let me take you to a better place)

I'm gonna make ya kiss the sky tonight.

Yeah, if you let me show the way.

I'm so excited to see you excited.

I'll take you to a better place.

(I'll take you to a better place)

And, baby, you can love me on the way.”

I focused on one troll specifically. One with wild green hair.

“We're flyin' up to outer space!

I'm so excited,

(I'm so excited)

To see you excited,

(To see you excited)

Yeah~

I don't mind.

(I don’t mind)

If the world spins faster.”

I smiled at the Troll on the television. Watching him closely. Trapped in a diamond bottle.

“The music's louder, the waves get stronger.

I don't mind if the world spins faster.

Faster, faster, faster!

Yeah~~

Just let me take you to a better place!”

I smiled as they finished the song.

“Beautiful…” I chuckled, taking a drink of alcohol. “I knew you were still alive. My Clay….”

I watched on the screen for a little while longer, seeing that he’s from Pop Village.

“Pop Village, huh?” I chuckled. “Don’t worry, Clay-baby…. Daddy Ash is coming for you.”

You belong to me.

Chapter Text

“Good morning, beautiful.” I groaned softly, feeling Viva kiss my forehead. “Come on, we gotta go.”

“Go where?” I mumbled, still half-asleep.

“To the golf course, silly!” Viva gigged. “We have to get everyone ready for the big move, right?”

Big move… Right, moving the Putt-Putt Trolls to Pop Village.

I yawned, stretching my arms out.

“Come on, sleepy!” Viva ruffled my hair. “Time to get ready to leave! Let’s fix your hair up, because…. Wow.” I gave her a look.

“I thought we’ve agreed not to tease about my hair.” I spoke matter of fact.

“I know.” She giggled. “But you, my love, have a serious case of bedhead.” She then, gently, grabbed me, and started to kiss all over my face.

“Viva!” I laughed, trying to gently push her off. “Viva, stop! It tickles!”

“I’ll only stop if you get up!” She teased, starting to tickle my stomach, causing me to yelp in surprise.

“Viva! Viva, no!” I laughed, her holding my feet down to prevent me from kicking.

Curse her and her uncanny strength.

“Viva, yes!” She laughed, continuing to kiss and tickle me. “Remember, this’ll only stop if you get up!”

“Okay, okay! I’m up!” She stopped, I sat up, giving her an annoyed look. “You’re cruel.”

“Yeah, but you love me.” Viva giggled, kissing my cheek. “Now get up! We leave in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!”

“Alright!” I sighed, getting out of bed, freezing when I saw my hair in Viva’s mirror.

Yikes.

“I told you that you had serious bedhead!” Viva giggled.

“Wow…” I mumbled, running my fingers through my very ratty hair. “I look like I went through a whirlwind.”

“You can say that again.” Viva giggles, handing me a hairbrush. “I think you could use this.”

“Thanks.” I smiled slightly, starting to brush my hair.

“While you’re getting all dolled up,” Viva smiled. “I’ll pack us snacks!” She left before I could respond.

That’s my Viva.

I shook my head, brushing my hair out until it was somewhat decent, putting the hair cream in my hair, ignoring the sting that came with it as I got dressed, putting on an oversized sweatshirt and shorts, figuring it would be best to dress casually.

Before I could do anything else, I heard a honking from outside.

“What in the—” I opened the window shade, seeing John Dory outside with Rhonda. “What the hell??” I grumbled in anger, leaving the room and going outside.

“Yo! Clayyyyy! You ready to get your buddies back from The Hole N’ Fun???” I glared at JD, not exactly happy with him.

“Dude, you’re overdoing it!” Bruce smacked him upside the head. “But he has a point…. You ready to go tell them that it’s safe here?”

“Alright!” Viva smiled, wrapping her arm around me. “We got a ride!”

“John, what are you doing?” I asked, arms crossed.

“Helping my baby brother out, that’s what!” He smiled, flashing his signature John Dory grin. “It’s time to have some fun!”

“Nothing about this is fun.” I explicitly made sure he knew. “This is a work trip. We’re planning to make sure everyone is on board with this.”

“The ride up will be fun.” I saw Floyd at the entrance to Rhonda. “I got some songs planned.” I looked at John, surprised.

“You’re letting him go?”

“I may…. Have been a little irrational.” John admitted, I raised an eyebrow.

“May have?”

“Okay, okay, I was… I know I still have a lot to make up for, and you’re not exactly happy with me either… I’m sorry, okay?” I sighed, genuinely believing his apology.

“Okay…” I nodded at him.

“Good. Now that we got that outta the way, let’s boogie my man!” I shook my head at his enthusiasm, taking Viva’s hand as we got into Rhonda.

“Where’s Branch?” I asked.

“Late.” Bruce smiled. “Had to get some ‘essentials’ as he put it.

“I’m here!”

Speak of the devil.

Branch had a large backpack, setting it down on the ground.

“What the hell is that?” Floyd asked, confused.

“Its everything in case something goes wrong.”

“We’re on a bus, Branch.” I put it bluntly. “A bus that’ll fuck you up in a matter of seconds.”

“Language! And she can hear you!” JD scolded me.

“I am fucking 30 years old, don’t tell me language.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

“Alright, alright, let’s get this show on the road!” Viva exclaimed happily. “Who’s driving?”

“You can start us off, Veevs.” JD told her, I looked at him in confusion.

“Yes!” She exclaimed happily, running towards the front.

“So she can drive and I can’t?” I asked him.

“You have no sense of direction and would crash this bus in a matter of seconds. I don’t trust you behind the wheel.” I crossed my arms, mad at the answer. “But, there’s another reason I told her to drive.”

“Why?” I asked, eyebrow raised.

“What you said the other day….” Bruce sat down across from me. “During the fight.”

Oh.

Oh…….

That.

“Did you really try to kill yourself?” Branch finally spoke up, breaking the uncomfortable silence. I looked down, not wanting to look at any of them.

“Clay, look at me.” I didn’t for a few long moments, but slowly looked over at JD. “It’s okay. I just want to make sure you’re okay now.”

“I’m fine… I was 16, I was depressed… But Viva helped me.” I sighed. “I don’t like to talk about it… My mid to late teens wasn’t an easy time for me, and it…. It was hard…”

“Would you like to talk about it?” Floyd asked, voice ever so calm as usual.

“No…” I fidgeted with my hands. “Not really…”

That would mean mentioning Ash…… And I am NOT ready for that conversation. At least not yet.

“Are you sure?” JD questioned, looking directly at me. “’Cuz we’re here to listen.”

“John.” Bruce looked at him in warning before looking at me, with more compassion. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. Or if you’re not ready to. When you’re ready, or if you are at all, we’re here for you.”

I nodded at him showing that I appreciated it.

“Don’t worry… I’m here for you, babydoll….”

No, no, no!

Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it!

“Bub?” Bruce tapped the couch to get my attention. “You alright?”

I nodded slowly, trying to get him out of my thoughts.

“Are you sure?” Floyd asked, full of concern. “You’re clenching your firsts.”

I looked down, seeing that my fists were tightly clenched. I released them, taking a slow breath in and letting it out.

“I’m okay…. No worries.” I spoke softly, fidgeting with my hands again.

“Okay…” Branch gave me a gentle smile. “We’re here if you need us. Okay?”

I nodded slowly. “Okay.” I spoke softly.

You’re not with him.

You’re not with him.

You’re not with him.

You’re not with him.

You’re.

Not.

With.

Him.

YOU’RE.

NOT.

WITH.

HIM.

YOU’RE NOT WITH HIM.

“Clay, breathe.” I shook, breathing heavily, seeing Floyd in front of me. “Bear with me. I’m going to hold your hands, okay?” I realized then I was pulling my hair, Floyd gently took my hands in his, setting them in my lap. “There you go… Just breathe. In… And out…. Can you tell me 3 things that you can see?”

I looked around the bus slowly, trying to concentrate.

“J-J… John’s scrapbooks…. B-Branch’s clue board…” John had apparently never taken that down. I looked around to the front of the bus. “V-Viva…”

“Good. How about 3 things you can feel?”

“Y-You’re hands…” He squeezed my hands gently. “The… The couch cushion… A-And…. The carpet…”

“There you go… Now deep breath, in and out, okay?” I obeyed, slowly taking a deep breath in and out slowly. “There you go…” I let go of Floyd’s hands, the touch finally getting to me. “You okay?” I nodded, running my fingers through my hair.

“Sorry…. I don’t know what happened…” I spoke softly, looking down.

“Never apologize for your mental well-being.” Branch explicitly told me. “Shit happens. We all know that. You should never have to apologize for something that happens to you.”

Something that happens to me… Like Ash?.... For what he did? Fuck…… How do I even begin to explain that?.... What he did to me is……. Unexplainable.

“Clay…” John was sitting next to me… How did that happen? “I think I speak for everyone when I say that we’re now more concerned about you…. Are you sure there’s nothing you want to talk about?”

“Yeah….” I spoke quietly. “There’s nothing that I want to talk about.”

I don’t want to talk about it… It’s the last thing that I want to talk about.

“You’re sure?”

“John.” Bruce shot him another look. “Drop it, okay?”

“We’re here if you ever need us. Either all of us, or just one of us… We’re here.” I nodded, shooting Floyd a grateful look.

God, I hate getting so overwhelmed like this…. I hate it so fucking much.

“Come on,” John smiles. “I know something that’ll cheer you up.” He nodded at Bruce.

“Don't let no small frustration ever bring you down.” Bruce started to sing, I looked at him, confused.

“No, no, no, no.” JD and Branch backed him up.

“Just take a situation and turn it all around!” Floyd sang as Bruce spun Branch around by surprise. Floyd encouraged me to join in.

“With a new attitude everything can change” I smiled as my brothers started to dance around. “Make it how you want it to be. Stay mad, why do that? Give yourself a break. Laugh about it and you'll see!”

“Life's what you make it, so let's make it rock! Life's what you make it! So come on, come on, come on, everybody now!” I laughed as we all started to dance with one another.

“There’s that smile we know and love!” Bruce stopped, giving me a matching smile.

“I’ve missed that smile!” JD shared Bruce’s enthusiasm.

They’re right… I don’t smile a lot… Only really around Viva. She’s my safe person, I feel safe around her.

“We’re about ten minutes out, boys!” Viva called out after awhile. “JD, wanna take the wheel?”

John went up to the driver’s seat, taking the wheel. Viva ran over, wrapping her arm around me.

“So??” She smiled. “You excited?” I nodded.

“Yeah…. I am. Excited to get everyone to Pop Village… Where we can all be together.”

“Me too.” She kissed my cheek. “We’re going to be safe, happy and in a place where we can live our lives without worry…. It’s perfect.”

Perfect.

Perfect had always been a word I hated hearing. It was our hit song. It was what John Dory always forced me to be.

I hated being perfect. I just wanted to be me… Just Clay. Not fun-boy Clay. Not serious-boy Clay.

Just Clay.

“Do you guys’ smell that?” Branch asked, sniffing the air.

“It wasn’t me!” John argued from the front.

“No! Not that…”

I opened the window, sniffing the air.

“It…. Smells like smoke…”

“Could someone be grilling out?” Bruce asked.

“Not out here…” Viva commented. “Nobody’s out here but us.”

“What is it then?” Floyd asked, eyebrow raised.

“Uh, Clay, Viva… You’re going to want to get up here. Now.”

Viva and I quickly ran up front, our eyes widening in horror, immediately knowing what that smell was. Someone wasn’t grilling out. It was fire.

The Hole N’ Fun was on fire.

Chapter Text

Earlier That Day

“They…. Really want us to move?” Iris, a shy and good-natured troll questioned. “After being away all this time?”

“I know its scary, but trust me. It’s safe.” Winter smiled reassuringly. “We’ve been with them all this time, the Bergens aren’t going to hurt us, I promise.”

“How can we be sure?”  Juniper asked, his arms crossed. “Sure, King Clay’s brother was saved with the help of them, but… There are evil Bergens out there. Just like there are evil trolls. How to we know who to trust?”

“We don’t…” I spoke up. “I was nervous too, but I’ve met and had conversations with these Bergens…. I’ve seen and talked to these trolls…. They’re not going to hurt us. I know it’s scary, I was terrified at first. But once you’re there and settled, we’ll be okay.”

“If the gray troll says we’ll be okay, then we’ll have to be!”

Gee, thanks.

“Hey, Raven’s right!” Winter sent a slight glare to the troll who made that snarky comment. “It’ll be okay! Clay and Viva will be joining us here very soon to help us move forward, I know with them along with Queen Poppy and Clay’s brothers, we’ll be okay!”

“But….” Cloud raised his hand shyly. “Who is our King and Queen now? Poppy…. Or Clay and Viva?”

That’s…..

An excellent question.

“We won’t worry about that quite yet. Once we get everyone settled at Pop Village, then we make decisions when it comes to royalty.” Everyone slowly nodded at my response, accepting it as law until the final decisions were made.

My ears twitched as I heard a knock on the front door.

“Ooh!” Winter gasped, smiling ear to ear. “They must be here already!” She jumped down, running towards the door, jumping up to push the chain to unlock it.

But it wasn’t anyone who we were expecting. Not in the least bit.

No…

Fucking.

Way.

I flicked my tail side to side in agitation, letting out a growl as I unsheathed my claws.

“Ash?!” Winter yelled, jumping down from the chain, getting in his face. “What the fuck are you doing here?! You’ve been banished from here for 15 years!”

“Oh, trust me, Winter….” He circled her, causing me to quickly run by her side. “I know how long I’ve been gone.”

“You don’t belong here, Ash. Leave, before I make you leave.” I quickly glanced back at the other trolls, seeing Feather immediately being stepped in front of by Clover and Smoke, the only two who really knew what happened between Ash and Clay.

“Oh, I’d hate to ruin such a perfect plan, don’t you agree, Raven?” I let out a low growl as he came close to me.

“You don’t belong here!” I hissed, glaring at Ash, refusing to let my gaze off of him.

“To Belong?” Ash smiled. “Isn’t that a Brozone song?” He put his finger to his chin, as if in thought. “Oh no, that’s ‘Where I Belong’ isn’t it? How silly of me.”

“We’re not here to talk about songs, dick-pants!” Winter growled. “Leave, now!”

“Oh, I don’t think so…. I have a plan in motion.”

Plan?

“What kind of plan?” Ash chuckled, walking past us.

“A plan for you…. All of you.”

“What are you talking about?” Winter was ready to fight if needed. “There are rules among trolls! This is not your land! It belongs to King Clay and Queen Viva!”

“Not anymore. The past 15 years of them ruling, I’ve been building an army… Yours is the first of my taking in the Troll Kingdom. Soon, everything the light touches will belong to me. There will only be one Troll King!”

Ash laughs, jumping up onto a platform as he sings. “You say he’s the King, but you all hide away in the shade, thin as a crape, unafraid. The ash of the fire is in the sky, but if you run away, you are prey…..” He growls, jumping down, getting in my face. “I’m just passing by…”

I turned around as I heard something collapse… The fire exits.

“Clay hasn’t won… I hope you can run” Ash smiles, circling me. “'Cause I'm gonna be the last thing you see, before you go, bye-bye! There you go, bye-bye! Climb every tree, across land and sea. I'll make you go, bye-bye. I make you go, bye-bye!” He jumps up on the platform again, looking outwards. “Everything in my clutches! Ha, bye-bye! Everything the light touches….”

This fucker is manic….

“The way of the trolls is a lie, a pretty way to say there are settlers and strays. The ash of fire in the sky. Soon it advances, it doesn’t like your chances… And neither do I. I run my trolls…. Soon you’ll all be souls!” He laughs as he looks at the group of trolls, I turned around, seeing fire catching… “'Cause I'm gonna be the last thing you see. Before you go, bye-bye. There you go, bye-bye! Climb every tree across land and sea, until you go, bye-bye! Will you go? Bye-bye!”

Fuck….

Ash walks past all of us, using his hair to avoid the flames. “Bye-bye, for vengeance is mine… They will take this as a sign, I must be strong! Oh~! Bye-bye, I'll make you go…Bye-bye, bye-bye!”

Ash somehow manages to break the chain that opens the door, quickly running under it, leaving us trapped.

“No!” Winter yells, tears in her eyes from fear, and from the smoke. “Raven?...”

“We….” I shook as I said this. “We’re trapped.”

***

“JD, step on it now!”

“There’s no time, Viva!” I yelled, running to Rhonda’s side door.

“Clay, don’t you dare jump out of this armadillo!” I ignored JD, opening the door. “Clayton, don’t you da—”

I jumped. Quickly turning into my golf ball form, I rolled onto the ground, going back to my natural form and starting to run.

“Wait up!” Viva followed me, doing exactly as I did, JD screaming at her not to jump. “Move, move!”

“Guys, come on!” I heard Branch yell, but we ignored him.

We got to the entrance of the golf course, a few of the Putt-Putts were already outside. I looked at the door, it seeming to have burned itself down, laying on the ground in flames.

“Mr. Clay! Miss Viva!” Floral, a lavender troll called out, coughing a few times. “Most of the trolls are still in there… I got out who I could, I-I’m not sure if they’re all alive or not…”

“Stay here, help those who we can get out.” I told her, quickly running towards the entrance, followed by Viva.

I ran into the burning golf course, smoke and flames immediately consuming around us, the smoke immediately getting into my lungs, causing me to cough.

“What’s the plan here?” Viva asked, smoke surrounding her.

“Stay as far away from the flames as you can, get everybody out. You know the fire exits, move everyone out!”

“Okay… Be careful. I love you.” I looked at Viva, tears in her eyes, either from the smoke or fear.

“I love you too.” I looked at her one last time before we ran in separate directions.

How did this happen?? HOW could I let this happen?! Shit, shit, shit!

My vision blurred from the smoke, coughing every so often as I made my way through the burning course.

My ears flickered, hearing someone call out for help. I ran towards the sound, avoiding falling, burning wood as I made my way through.

“Clay!” It was a child…. My child. Feather. He was trapped.

“Hang on!” I called out, crawling under burning wood, feeling it singe my arms. “Ow…” I whimpered quietly, finally making my way under it, feeling embers catch my hair.

“Clay!” Feather reached out towards me, his door to his house was stuck.

“Stand back, okay?” He nodded, standing back. I took a deep breath in, kicking the door down. Viva taught me that. I quickly kneeled down to him. “You okay?”

“Yeah….” He looked over towards the living room, seeing his house burning…. His parents had been caught under wood…. And they weren’t moving. “They moved me out of the way…” Tears quickly filled his eyes.

Smoke…. Clover…. Fuck…

“Shhh….” I held his hand. “It’s okay, we’ll get out of here. There’s a fire exit near here, I’ll get you out of here, and go look for any others, okay?” Feather stayed close to me, holding onto me for safety.

“What if there aren’t any others?” I could tell he was scared… He was just a kid.

“There will be.” I was sure of that. “Hang tight, okay?”

Moving back under the burning wood, giving my wrist guards to put over his face so he wouldn’t inhale in the smoke, I winced at the ashes on my arms.

You can do it… Save the kid. Save them….

“Clay, look!” I squinted where Feather was pointing, the smoke fogging up my glasses. One of the homes was blocked by burning wood, a group of Trolls stuck inside.

“Stay close, Feather.” I saw Feather nod, staying close beside me.

I heard yells for help, me hoisting myself up to the house.

“Hang on, I’m getting you guys out of here!” I tried to kick the door down, but it was stuck. “Fuck…” I looked around, seeing a metal pole that fell down from somewhere.

Fire, metal…. This is gonna hurt.

“Clay?...”

Taking the metal pole in my hands, wincing at the burning in my hands, I hit the doorknob several times until it broke, the door now able to be opened. Hissing in pain, I dropped the metal pole and looked at my hands, they were already starting to sizzle and burn.

Ignore it…. Save everyone…. Get them out….

I pushed the door open, motioning for them all to come out.

“Come on, the fire exits aren’t that far away!” I coughed, my lungs burning like fire.

One by one, each of them followed me to the nearest fire exit.

“Don’t worry, we’re almost there—” Before I could finish that sentence, several of the homes came crashing down. A few of the trolls screamed, I closed my eyes for a few moments, when I opened them, the only remaining fire exit was blocked.

NO! No, no, no, no, no! This is bad, this is bad!

“Now what do we do??”

I looked over, seeing how scared they were.

“It’s okay… Change of plans… We’re going out the front. The next fire exit on the other side is too far away, the front entrance will be our best bet. Hold onto eachother, okay?” I waited until they were all holding each other’s tails. “Head for the exit, I’ll follow behind you to make sure you’re all safe.”

“What about after, King Clay?” Juniper asked.

“You’re going out there where it’s safe, then I’m going to make sure everyone else is out. Let’s go, we don’t have a lot of time!”

Following my instructions, everyone started to make their way to the front entrance.

We got this. I got eyes on them; these Trolls are safe with me.

“Keep going, I can see the exit!” I watched everyone quickly make their way out. “Feather, follow them!”

“What about you??”

“It’s okay, Feather. I’ll be out soon.” I looked at him. “Go.” I watched to make sure they were all out, before running back in, my eyes tearing from the flames. I coughed, wheezing more from the smoke.

I fell to my knees, shaking, feeling myself not able to breathe.

Get up.

You have to get up.

You have to save everyone.

Get them out.

Shaking, I stood up once again, looking around, I saw a little Troll, fur as white as snow, hair as blue as the sky. She was frozen in fear.

Melody.

I ran towards her, gently touching her knee to get her attention. She looked up at me, letting out a squeak of fear.

“It’s okay, Melody. We’re getting you out, okay?” I signed to her. She nodded, reaching her little arms out towards me. “We’ll find your mom, don’t worry.” I picked her up, gently putting her in the safety in my hair, her being used to hiding in my hair, she held on with a grip since its never stored well.

Coughing again, I shook, feeling myself getting lightheaded. I fell on my knees, coughing even more.

No…. Keep going! Save them… Save them.

Forcing myself up, legs shaking, I kept looking. I had to get to the med bay. The sick kids might still be there… I need to save them.

Trying my best to ignore the coughs, I soon came upon the medical bay….

“N-No…..” I whispered, tears in my eyes.

It was gone. It…. It was burned down. Looking closely, I saw a hand sticking out… Walking closer, I saw…. It…. It was….

“Hazel….”

Looking around, I saw a few more…. The kids I helped… The kids Viva helped… They…...

They were all dead….

“No….” I fell to my knees. “NO!”

I failed…...

“Clay!” My ears perked, looking over to where the voice called out. A familiar troll with an oxygen tank.

“Holly!” I got up, tripping for a second, running over to her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay…” She looked around. “I checked…. There’s nobody else….”

“That’s it?” She nodded. “What about Winter and Raven?”

“I don’t know…. I haven’t seen them…”

“Okay…. We’ll look for them on the way out. Come on, on my back.”

I’ll go back once she’s safe…

“But…. You hate being touched….” I ignored her, pulling her onto my back.

“I’m not asking.” I held her legs, so she was secure. Coughing, my vision blurred, I started to make my way back.

Come on…. Come on…. Breathe…. You can do it….

“Clay?” Holly looked down at me in worry.

“D-Don’t worry…. I’m okay, H-Hol—” I gasped for air, collapsing as I struggled to breathe.

“Clay!” She was next to me in moments. “Are you okay?”

“H-Holly….” I whispered, coughing some more. “You… Have to get out…”

“No!” She was persistent. “I’m not leaving you!”

“You have to…. If not for me…” I separated my hair, revealing Melody. “Then for her…” I handed her the small child.

“But….” Tears filled her eyes.

“Just go….” I coughed harder, my eyes watering even more. “You have to go…”

“…… Okay…” I felt her hug me. I closed my eyes as she did so. I heard her whisper something that I didn’t register before she left. I watched her leave.

“This is the place!” I remembered Viva saying all those years ago. “This will protect us from the Bergens!”

“An abandoned Bergen golf course?” I wasn’t so sure at first. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah! Nobody will find us out here!” She smiled, holding my hand. “We have to keep everyone safe! No matter what, this will keep everyone safe. So long as we rule it together! Right?”

“Yeah… Together.”

Together…. We ran this place together…. And we failed.

I failed.

Opening my eyes, I watched buildings and homes burn down.

Everything was burning down….

I coughed, wheezing even more, struggling to breathe.

I’m gonna die….

***

“Come on, we’re almost there!” I escorted everyone out the front entrance, making sure that the last Troll out before I followed.

As soon as I was out, I fell to my knees, coughing, trying to breathe in the fresh, clean air.

“Viva!” I looked up, seeing Bruce by my side. “Are you okay?” Still coughing for a few moments, I started to breathe a little better.

“Y-Yeah… I… I’m okay….” I breathed deeply, Bruce gently helping me stand up. “Where’s Clay?”

“We thought he was with you!” JD stressed, running up to me.

“We had to split up to get everyone out!” I stressed, looking towards the entrance. “Clay!” I started to run towards the fire again, quickly being held back by Branch.

“Viva! You’re already struggling to breathe! You can’t go back in there!”

“But he could die!” Tears filled my eyes at the thought. “I have to save him! I couldn’t find Winter or Raven either!”

“Queen Viva!” I looked towards the entrance, seeing Holly, carrying little Melody.

“Holly!” I ran towards her. “Are you alright?” I checked her over.

“I… Think so, but C-Clay!” Tears filled her eyes. “He made me go…. He…. Wanted me to be safe….”

“Where is he??” Bruce asked her, eyes filled with worry.

“By the med bay!”

“Have you seen Winter and Raven??” I asked, worried sick.

“N-No…. No sign of them…”

“Alright, I’m going in!” Bruce was determined. “JD, stay here with them. Once I bring Clay out, we need to get him to the hospital ASAP.”

“I’ll make sure everything’s ready, just be careful!” Bruce nodded, quickly running into the fire.

I looked over at Branch and Floyd, the two of them silent, scared for their brother’s safety.

I was scared for their safety. And my boyfriends….

Clay…. Please…. Please be okay…

***

“CLAY!!!!!!”

Weakly opening my eyes, I thought I heard my name being called…...

No… Nobody’s coming…. I’m dying…. That’s what it must be….

I coughed, closing my eyes again.

“CLAY!!!!”

Wait…. That’s real...

I opened my eyes again, coughing hard, wheezing as I tried to get up, but ended up falling.

“Clay! I’m here, where are you, bub???” I recognized that voice…

“B-Bruce….” I spoke quietly, trying to move forward, hoping that he could come and get me.

“Clay??” I saw him, he was on one of the buildings that hadn’t quite burned down yet, probably to get a better view.

“Bruce!” I weakly called out, trying to get his attention. “D-Down here…”

I don’t know if he heard me or if he saw me, but he swung down by his hair, sliding close to me.

“Clay!” He was by my side. “Oh my God…” He took in a breath, his hair around his face, like a mask.

“Bruce…” I coughed harder, Bruce gently shushing me.

“It’s okay. Big brothers getting you out of here….” I felt him pick me up, I was too exhausted to fight back the touch…

“B-Bruce…” I spoke quietly. “V… Viva? Winter?.... Raven?...”

“She’s okay. Don’t worry, she’s safe…..” I let out a sigh of relief. “We haven’t found Winter and Raven, but you saved a lot of Trolls, Clay.”

A lot of Trolls…… Not all of them….

“Easy, buddy… I’m getting you out, we’re getting to safety.”

Safety….

I don’t know how much time passed, but I felt fresh air on my face, gently being set on the ground.

“Clay!” I heard Viva yell, feeling her kneel beside me. I opened my eyes, my vision blurred in seeing the faded figure of my beautiful girlfriend.

“Viv….” I slowly reached for her hand, feeling her squeeze it reassuringly.

“God, Clay…” I heard her crying…

No…. Don’t cry…. You don’t need to cry, baby…

I heard some commotion, too tired to make out what it was.

My senses came to a little bit, looking over and seeing Winter carrying Raven on her back, her coughing heavily and him passed out.

“Raven….” I spoke quietly. “H-Help…. Help them…”

“Don’t worry, we are.” Branch assured me, going over to my best friends.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Help him.” I heard Winter insist, still coughing.

I closed my eyes for a moment, finding it hard to keep them open.

“Clay, Clay...” I opened my eyes, seeing Viva. “Hey… We’re getting you home. You and Raven need to go to a hospital, okay? Branch has a temporary face mask he had in his emergency bag that can give you some oxygen. You need it, okay?” I nodded slowly, not letting go of her hand. I saw her nod, not at me, and I felt someone, maybe Branch, put the breathing mask on me. I felt the sweet relief of oxygen reach my lungs.

“Don’t worry, we’re getting you home.” I heard John tell me.

“What…. About… The Putt-Putts?” I asked quietly.

“Don’t worry, we’re getting them help. We’re going to send transportation for them after we get you home.” I heard Branch speak.

I felt myself being picked up, slightly opening my eyes, I saw them carrying me in Rhonda. I was carefully laid on the couch, Viva staying right beside me.

“Alright, Rhonda. As fast as possible, back home.” I saw John talking to Rhonda, I winced as I felt us moving.

“Shhh….” I felt Viva gently rub my head. “It’s okay… You’re gonna be okay…”

“Viva…” I spoke quietly.

“Shhh…. Save your energy, okay?”

“V-Viv…. How…… ” I stopped, letting the oxygen help for a moment. “Will you… Sing to me?” I felt her kiss my hand, laying close to me. “How’s Raven?”

“He woke up…. But we think he has smoke inhalation. Same goes for you.”

“He…. Was in there the longest…. Winter, too…”

“I know….” Viva held my hand. “We’ll be okay…. We got them. We got you…. It’s going to be okay…” I nodded slowly, my eyes starting to close.

“Clay, Clay… You gotta stay awake.” I felt her squeeze my hand. “Stay with me, okay?”

“Viv… I…. I love you…”

I closed my eyes.

Chapter Text

Fifty-seven…. Fifty-eight…. Fifty-nine….

One minute.

Hours. Minutes. Moments. Seconds ticked by, and we still haven’t heard anything from the doctor about Clay….

  “Viva?” I looked up. Floyd. He handed me a coffee.

“Thanks…” I mumbled softly, letting out a sigh.

“No problem.” He wheeled beside me. “John said Poppy sent some Trolls out to pick up the Putt-Putts about an hour ago. They should be here soon.” I nodded, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Okay, good…. Thank you.” He nodded at me, gently patting my knee in reassurance. “Floyd…. I… I’m scared… What if…. What if he’s not okay?”

“He’s in good hands, Viva. Clay’s strong and stubborn as hell. He won't let this kill him.”

We don’t know that……

“You saw him…. He could barely breathe, he inhaled in a lot of smoke… ” I ran my fingers through my hair. “I don’t wanna lose him…”

“I know… I don’t either.”

“Viva…” I looked up, seeing Bruce. A solemn look on his face.

“Is he okay??” I asked, quickly standing up. He gently took my hands in his, trying to calm me down.

“He’s alive. He has very severe burns and smoke inhalation, but he’s going to be okay.” I sighed in relief, tears finally falling from my eyes. “They have him on breathing treatments and fluids. He’s stable.”

“O-Okay…” I sighed, trying to wipe the tears from my eyes. Bruce wrapped his arms around me.

“He’s asleep right now. Doctor Plum said he probably will be for a few days.”

He’s okay…. He’s going to be okay….

“What…. What about Raven?”

“He… Has severe smoke inhalation. He and Winter were in there the longest. He has severe smoke inhalation, but he did wake up a little bit. He should be fine.”

“Okay….” I breathed a sigh of relief. “Good….”

“Viva!” I turned around when I heard my name being called, John Dory. He looked…. Scared.

“What’s wrong??” I asked, hurrying towards him.

“I was making the trip with Rhonda on the way back here with my group, and Holly, she was having trouble breathing and she—”

“Take me to her, now!”

For once, John was silent. Only nodding, running as he led me to the poor girl.

Collapsed on the grass, the fresh grass that she had only just started to know.

“M-Miss Viva…” I held her hand as she spoke weakly to me.

“Shh, it’s okay…” Tears filled my eyes. “It’s okay, honey. I’m here.”

“W-Where…... Clay?”

“He’s going to be okay. He’s asleep for a few days, but he’s going to be okay.” I saw a glimpse of a smile as she struggled to breathe.

“Viva…. I know…. You both tried your best…. I know you both knew…. This day was close….” I squeezed her hand.

“Holly, no. That day is not today. You’re not dying today.”

If she dies now, Clay won’t get to say goodbye… He’ll blame himself. I can’t let her die. She has to stay alive a little while longer.

“V-Viva…. I… I’m tired of fighting…” I saw the tears in her eyes. “I’m so tired, I just…. I can’t do it anymore…”

“Holly….”

“Please…. Just…. Let me go…. Tell Clay I’m so thankful for everything he’s done…. Please…” She let her hand go limp, whispering even softer. “Let me go…”

I looked up, seeing all the trolls… The unfamiliar trolls watching us.

“John….” I spoke up, my eyes filled with tears as I looked at my boyfriend’s eldest brother. “Get them somewhere safe… Settled in… Away from here. Mainly the trolls she doesn’t know…”

He nodded, quickly ushering the putt-putts somewhere safe, and the pop trolls somewhere that wasn’t here.

Uneven breathing snapped me back to reality once they were all gone.

“Viva…...” Holly slowly blinked. “I…. I’ve been ready for a long time… I think you and Clay both know that I’ve been ready…...” She coughed, wheezing some. “But I don’t think either of you wanted to let me go… And that’s okay… You two will be okay…”

“Hey…” I sniffed, wiping tears from my eyes. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be comforting you, little missy… Not the other way around.”

“I know…” She sighed, looking up at the sky. “I think…. This is the only time I’ve felt the sun on my face…”

“You were born a few years after we found the Hole N’ Fun…. This is your first time really outside…” I looked down, sadly.

“And my last…” She looked towards her oxygen tank, then at me. “I’m ready, Miss Viva…. I don’t want to be in pain anymore…”

I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment, before switching off the machine, slowly taking the tubes out of her nose.

“Miss Viva…” I could physically see her becoming weaker. “Will…. Will you sing to me?” I nodded, tears falling down my face. I held her hand tightly, closing my eyes as I sang to her.

“We'll do it all.

Everything.

On our own.

We don't need…

Anything.

Or anyone.

If I lay here.

If I just lay here…

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know.

How to say.

How I feel.

Those three words.

Are said too much.

They're not enough.

If I lay here.

If I just lay here.

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told.

Before we get too old.

Show me a garden that's bursting into life.

Let's waste time.

Chasing cars.

Around our heads.

I need your grace.

To remind me.

To find my own.

If I lay here.

If I just lay here.

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told.

Before we get too old.

Show me a garden that's bursting into life.

All that I am.

All that I ever was.

Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see.

I don't know where.

Confused about how as well.

Just know that these things will never change for us at all.

If I lay here.

If I just lay here…

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”

Opening my eyes, Holly had finally run out of breath…. After years of fighting, she finally lost her battle…

But she’s not in pain anymore…

Still holding her hand, I gently kissed it, laying her hands on her chest. Taking off my cloak, I gently covered her with it.

“Have a nice rest, Holly….” I stood up, wiping the tears from my eyes.

I had only walked a little bit when I bumped into John, quite literally.

“Viva… Is… Is she okay?” I shook my head, looking down.

“She’s gone….” I spoke barely above a whisper. He wrapped his arms around me, and I just sobbed.

“W-We always did what was best for her…. She never knew anything besides the golf course…. Her parents passed shortly after we found the place, after she was diagnosed…. Clay and I have been taking care of her, as well as the other adults there…. Her just being… Gone….” I shut my eyes tightly. “I-It’s hard to believe…”

“I know…. Losing someone like that…. It’s never easy…” John sighed. “Viva…. I had someone do a headcount on everyone who died…. It’s… Not a good number… Everyone who…. Died today…. Do you want to do anything for them?”

“….. I want to make a special gravesite for them.” I immediately decided. “The lives that were lost today were not just ordinary lives…. They were my people. Clay and I helped and protected them for years… They deserve something special… By the golf course. That was their home, my home…. They deserve to rest there…”

“That’s a wonderful idea, Viva…. Branch could probably help you with that.”

“Not yet… We wait for Clay and Raven.” I decided. “I don’t want to leave Holly laying there until he wakes up…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her…” He sighed. “I’ll bring her back to the golf course until Clay’s well enough to travel and pick out a spot.”

“Thank you… I’m going to go see him…” He nodded, giving me one last hug before the two of us went our separate ways.

Clay…. Baby, please…. Don’t blame yourself for this.

It’s not your fault.

***

Opening my eyes, I saw nothing but white…. But for once, it didn’t hurt my eyes. Reaching my hands out, the white was…. Fluffy? Like a cloud.

Fully looking around, I realized that’s what it was… Clouds.

Clouds? Why would I—

“Clay.” I looked where someone was calling my name.

I couldn’t believe it.

A blue troll with curly green hair and eyes that matched Floyd’s.

“Mama?” I spoke quietly, unsure of what was happening. Before I knew it, I was running towards her, wrapping my arms around her as she did the same to me.

“Oh, my sweet boy…” She looked at me, caressing my face gently. “Look at you…. All grown up.”

“M-Mama, I don’t…. I don’t understand, how are you, am I…” I looked at her in shock. “Am I dead?”

“No, baby. Don’t worry, you’re still alive.” She gently held my hand. “Your mind is resting… Your body has been asleep for a few days in the real world.”

“After…. After the fire…. I…. I passed out…”

“And you saved many lives.” She smiled, ruffling my hair. “I’m so proud of you, my little boy.”

“But…. I didn’t save everyone…” I looked down. “I should have been able to save them all….”

“Oh, baby… You’ve always had such a pure heart. A heart that is too good for this world. You did what you could. And that’s more than enough, little one.”

“Mama…. I was supposed to protect them… And I…” I looked down as tears fell down my cheeks. “I failed…”

“You did no such thing, baby.” She lifted my head up. “You saved so many trolls. You saved so many lives today.”

“But I also let others die…”

“You didn’t. You broke down doors to save your people’s lives. You did everything you could, my love. You did everything right.”

Everything right? But… Trolls died… How could I have done everything right?

“Baby, listen… You’re going to make mistakes. It’s part of growing. But this? This wasn’t a mistake. You did everything in your power to save everyone… Yes, some trolls died, but there are trolls who lived because of you. Focus on the positive, baby.”

The positive? How…. How can there be a positive outcome to this?

“Sweetheart, listen…” She wrapped me in a tight hug. “No matter what happens, even if I’m not there, I will always be watching over you… I know what you’ve been through… I know how much you’ve been hurt… But baby, you are so strong. You’ve been through so much and you fight through it. You’re an amazing troll, my son. And you will continue to be the amazing troll that I know you to be.”

“But mama…” More tears fell down my face. “I feel… So lost… I don’t know how to do this on my own…”

“But you’re not on your own.” She smiled at me. “What’s that beautiful girls’ name? Viva? She’s there for you, right?”

“More than anyone…” I nodded with a smile. “She’s my world.”

“And you’re hers.” She caressed my face with both hands. “I’m so proud of you, baby. So, so proud. You’ve done amazing things, and you will continue to be the son I know and love.”

“…. I miss you, mama…”

“I know…” She sighed softly. “But I’m always here… I’m watching over you, baby. Your brothers too. I’m making sure you’re all safe.”

“…. Thank you, mama…. I’m… Going to wake up soon, right?” She nods.

“Very soon. Viva, Raven, Winter, Poppy and your brothers will be waiting for you.” She hugged me tightly. “I love you, baby. I love and miss you so much…” Tears filled my eyes, holding onto my mom for the last time.

“I love you, mama…. I…. I never got to say that before… Before you died…”

“I know…” She wiped tears from my eyes. “But I’ve always known that.”

She knows…… But saying it felt…. Good…. Like a whole weight was lifted off my chest.

“Clay…” She smiled sadly. “Floyd needs a push in the right direction. He’s hurting inside. He’s always been stubborn, but he needs a bit of that tough love…. Can you see that he gets it?”

I nodded, more tears falling down my face. “Yes, mama…. I’ll help him. I promise.”

“Good… Say hello to your brothers for me. I love you.” The clouds around me began to go gray, mom slowly disappearing into the darkness.

“I love you too, mama.”

Chapter Text

Slowly opening my eyes, I was welcomed by those loud beeping sounds that I cannot stand. There was a breathing mask on my face, but it was different than before. There were IVS stuck in my arms too, likely connected to fluids. My arms were severely bandaged up too…. And they were burning like fire.

One thing was good. Unlike last time, the lights were dimmed, off so my eyes wouldn’t be bothered… That means a certain troll was here. Looking over, I saw Viva. She was holding my hand with both of her hands. She looked so worried….

“Vi… Viv…” I spoke weakly, starting to cough a little bit. She immediately looked up at me.

“Clay, hey….” She gently ran her fingers over my hand in a soothing manner. “You’re okay…”

“Y-You… Are you… Okay?” I looked at her, hoping that she was okay.

“Hey, don’t worry… I’m okay… As for physical injuries, you seem to have gotten the worst of it…” I let out a sigh of relief.

I got the worst of it…

“How long was I asleep?”

“A few days. You were kept on oxygen and lots of fluids. Doctor Plum said you can’t take the oxygen mask until she says it’s okay.”

“Okay…” I nodded slowly. “Is Raven okay? What about Winter?”

“Raven is still in the ICU, his lungs due to the smoke inhalation got worse overnight.” She paused for a moment. “They had to intubate and put a tube down his throat.”

“W-What??” I forced myself to sit up. “Where’s he at?”

“Clay.” Viva gently pushed me back down. “Winter’s with him. Branch has been checking on him frequently as well. He should be okay resting in the ICU.”

“‘Should be okay’ and ‘ICU’ don’t belong in the same sentence!” I tried to push myself up again.

“Clay!” Viva stopped me. “If you really want to see him, I’ll take you to him, but please! Don’t overexert yourself!”

“I need to know that he’s okay!”

“Clay, please!” Viva pushed me down again. “Calm down. You’re going to hurt yourself. I can see how Raven is and I can take you to see him later, but you need to relax or you are going to set yourself back.”

I took in deep breaths, slowly nodding in understanding. “Okay…. Okay….” Viva let me go, looking at me, very worried. “How’s Winter?”

“Could be better. She’s cried her entire body mass the past two days.” Viva sighed. “She’s so worried about him.”

“I don’t blame her…” I sighed. “We’re all she has…. And she loves Raven more than anything.”

“I know….”

“…. Tell me…. How many trolls did we lose?” I asked, already preparing for the worst. Viva sighed, squeezing my hand.

“We lost…. A good amount…. Winter managed to do a headcount…. She said that not including us, out of 80 trolls…. We lost 50….”

Only…. 30 trolls survived…. Oh my god….

I failed…... I failed them….

“Shh, shh, shh….” Viva wrapped her arms around me. I then realized that I was crying…. She was too.

“I-I tried to save them, Veevs…. I really did…” I sobbed into her chest. “I-I tried…”

“I know, I know you did… I did too….” She gently kissed my forehead. “We tried our best…. We got out who we could… We saved lives… That’s all that matters.”

I failed…. I failed my people…. I failed Viva… I failed everyone.

“How…. How is everyone doing?” I asked quietly. Viva didn’t answer right away. “Viv?”

“Clay….” She looked at me, taking my hands in hers. “When the others got the Putt-Putts here…. Holly…. Wasn’t 100% okay after the fire…”

“What??” I could feel my heart start beating faster. “W-What do you mean?? Is she okay?”

“No…” Viva shook her head, tears filling her eyes. “She collapsed in the village a-and…... Clay… I’m so sorry, but…. She passed away…”

“No…”

No, no, no, no, no……

She’s not…. She’s not dead!

She can’t be dead!

“Clay?” Viva ran her fingers over my hands soothingly again. “Are you okay?”

I broke into sobs. Viva pulled her chair closer, holding me in her arms.

“Shh, I know, I know….” She ran her fingers through my hair. “She went quick, baby… She didn’t suffer in the end…”

“I-I knew this day would come…” I sobbed into her chest. “I knew it would come, a-and I didn’t get to say goodbye…”

“I know….”

“Were…. Were you there?” I looked at her hopefully.

“I was…. She died…. She died in my arms… As I sang her to sleep for the last time…” I took in a shaky breath, nodding slowly. “She was grateful to you, Clay… You put in so much effort into her recovery, trying to save her…”

“But I couldn’t…. I couldn’t save her….” Viva wiped some of the tears dripping down my cheeks. I coughed again, my lungs burning as I did. Viva rubbed my back gently.

“Easy…” She moved closer, kissing my cheek. “Just take it easy… You need to relax and rest, okay?”

Rest?

How can I rest when everything is my fault?

I could have done something better…. I could have built a better fire exit, one that didn’t end up collapsing… I could have had everyone practice the safety procedures better, I could have taken the sick kids heath better into account, I could have followed my rescue plan out differently, I could have—

A knock on the door brought me back to my senses. It slowly opened, revealing Branch and Floyd.

“Hey….” Branch walked up to me. “You’re awake…”

“How are you feeling?” Floyd asked, wheeling beside Branch.

“Awful…” I spoke quietly.

“I’d say… We were worried that you were hurt worse…”

That’s not the awful I was referring to……

“…. I spoke to Doctor Plum.” Branch spoke up. “She said that since John and I both know how to handle medical situations, you can come home today, so long as we keep an eye on you. So you can be in your own bed, with everything you’re used to. How’s that sound?”

“…. That sounds great… Thank you… What about Raven?” I spoke quietly.

“He’s making good progress, but he can’t leave quite yet.” Branch informed. “Possibly tomorrow, but not for sure.”

“Okay….” I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. “Viva… Where…. Where are the Putt-Putts going to stay? We hadn’t fully disclosed a plan yet, we were only going to the golf course for a next course of action….”

“Since…... There’s less trolls than before, there are plenty of spare pods for them to live in.” I nodded slowly at that.

“Okay…. We should check in with them.”

“You will do no such thing. You’re going to rest until you’re better.” Branch gave me a look. That look John and Bruce always gave us when we were kids. The look that told us ‘You better listen now or you’re dead’ look.

“I’m fine. I’m more worried about Raven.”

“Dude, you have an oxygen mask on your face and IVS in your arms. You’re not fine.” Floyd mocked me, causing me to glare at him, annoyed. “Don’t give me that look. I invented that look.”

“Viva, they’re being mean to me…” I crossed my arms, looking to Viva for help.

“Sorry, Clay.” Viva giggled. “My hands are tied. Besides, you really should rest. You were in a fire and were in a short-term coma for a few days. You need to get your strength back.” I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms, leaning back on the hospital bed.

I’ve been betrayed…

“Okay, grumpy.” Viva ruffled my hair. “Let’s get you home so you can rest more comfortably.”

“I’m not grumpy.”

“Yeah, sure you’re not.” Branch chuckled, I gave him a look.

“You guys are mean to me.”

“We’re your little brothers. It’s our job.” Floyd giggled.

“I hate you guys.”

“You love us!”

“Pretty sure I hate you.”

“He loooooves us!”

“Can I go home now?” I looked at Viva.

“You’re just going to get teased more at home, but alriiiight…” Viva laughed, walking out of the room to go talk to a doctor.

“Where’s John and Bruce?” I asked, wondering where the older two were.

“Bruce is helping the Putt-Putt trolls settle in some, making sure they have everything they need.” Floyd answered. “I’m not sure where John is…”

“He was here—” Oh my God…” Branch sighed, looking over at the door. John had entered the room, carrying a bunch of snacks, balloons, a giant ‘Get Well Soon!’ card, and a plush stuffed bunny.

“Hey! You’re awake!” He smiled, setting all the stuff down on the table next to me, except the stuffed bunny, which he held out towards me. “I bought you this!”

Hesitantly, I took the stuffed bunny, feeling how soft it was.

“Remember when you were little, you had that little stuffed bunny you carried with you everywhere? Especially when you were sick, you didn’t want to let him go?” I nodded, remembering Mr. Floppers. “Well, I thought he kinda looked like him…”

Looking at the bunny, he does look like the little bunny I had during my childhood. I smiled a little bit, looking up at John.

“Thank you… I love him.”

“You do??” John’s eyes sparkled. “Really?”

“Yeah…. Thank you, John…” He was practically jumping from happiness. I knew what he wanted. I sighed, shaking my head. “You get five seconds.”

He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. I reluctantly hugged him back, trying to hold out my uncomfortableness so that John could get his hug.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Respectfully, John let go.

“You know, you should hug us more often.” I rolled my eyes at John’s comment.

“Yeah, not going to happen.”

“You don’t have to answer this…” Floyd spoke quietly. “But, when we were kids, I remember you being very lovey and huggy. You loved hugs and physical affection…. What happened to that?”

I went quiet… I knew what happened… Ash happened. After he…. Did that to me, I hated physical affection. It took awhile for me to warm up to even Viva, Winter and Raven. Even now, they’re the only ones who are allowed to hug me without asking me first.

I just don’t like being touched after everything that happened with him. Something about physical contact just sends fire and aches on my skin…

“Clay?” My thoughts were interrupted by someone calling my name, I looked up, seeing Viva in front of me, Doctor Plum beside her. “You okay? You were spaced out for about ten minutes….”

“Y-Yeah….” I nodded slowly. “I’m okay.”

Viva looked at me for a long few moments. I knew she wasn’t convinced. I glanced away, hating the eye contact.

“Okay.” She finally said, after what felt like forever. “Doctor Plum’s going to take the IVS out and remove the mask on your face, okay?” I nodded, looking at Doctor Plum.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make it quick.” She smiled at me, gently starting to remove the IVS. I took in slow breaths to keep calm.

She’s a doctor, she won’t hurt you… She’s nice, she won’t hurt you… She’s not Ash, she won’t hurt you……

“Alright, let’s get this mask off you…” She raised her hands up to take the mask off, I flinched. “Oh, it’s okay, honey. I won’t hurt you.”

I know you won’t hurt me… But still, deep down…

I’m afraid of getting hurt.

At some point when I spaced out again, the mask was taken off. I coughed a few times. My lungs still hurt from inhaling all that smoke, but I was able to breathe somewhat okay.

“Alright, that’s good.” Doctor Plum smiled. “Take it easy the next few days. Plenty of rest, lots of fluids.”

“Don’t worry, Doc.” John smiled. “We’ll take care of him.”

“Good. Now go on, get him out of here. And stay safe.”

“Will Raven get to come home soon?” I asked her, hopeful.

“I plan to take the breathing tube out tonight to see how he does without it. If he does well, he’ll get to go home.” I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank you.”

God, once Raven and I are over this, safety should be inevitable.

***

“I’m actually looking for a pod kind of secluded and out of the way… I’d hate to be a bother.”

“Of course. I think there’s some on the edge of the village.” I recognized the troll from Mount Ragous. Purple, long hair. Dad Bod. “Were you part of the group that got trapped during the Bergen attack?”

“Oh no, not me…. I came later. I was trapped in a storm, and your brother and Viva helped me out.”

“They helped a lot of trolls at the golf course, didn’t they?”

“Oh yeah, tons. That’s why there were so many…”

“Yeah… It’s a shame what happened.”

“Yeah….” I smacked my lips. “Real shame.”

“Well, looks like there’s not a lot of pods over here….” I smiled at that statement.

“That’s fine by me. I prefer to keep to myself anyways.”

“Oh, that’s perfect for you then!” The younger smiled at me. “You’ll fit right in here. I’m not staying permanently, but this is a great place and tons of things to do!”

“Oh, I’m sure there’s lots to do here….”

“If you need anything, just ask one of us… Oh, what did you say your name was again?” I smiled, holding my hand out to shake his.

“I’m Ash.”

Chapter Text

“Hey… How you feeling?” I groaned softly as John entered my room.

“Like I was trapped in a fire.”

“…… You were trapped in a fire.”

“Exactly.” I smiled as John rolled his eyes.

“Hilarious.” John sat beside me on my bed. “Clay…. I’m glad you’re safe, I…. I don’t know what I would do if you died… If any of you had died…”

“But I didn’t die.”

“But you could have.” John sighed. “Look…. I will work better on boundaries. I will ask about physical contact. I will keep loud noises to a minimum… But please… Promise me that you’ll stay safe.”

“John—”

“Promise me.”

Looking at John, I saw fear in his eyes. I wasn’t used to seeing that from my big brothers. Floyd and Branch, yes. John and Bruce? That’s something I’m not used to....

“Okay.” I sighed. “I promise.”

“Good.” John smiled again.

“Is Raven home yet?”

“Yeah, he just got home today. He’s doing better, still exhausted, though.” I sighed in relief. “And don’t worry, I told your boyfriend how much you’re worried about him.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” I glared at him at the suggestion.

“Jeez, way to be homophobic!” JD held his hands up in fake defense.

“Fuck you.” John laughed at me as I rolled my eyes.

“Viva’s making food. Any requests?”

“Nothing hot.” I coughed slightly. “Maybe a sandwich or something like that.”

“A sandwich or something like that, coming right up!” John winked at me before leaving, I rolled my eyes in response.

Dumbass.

My brothers had me put on full bedrest for a couple of days, at least until I stopped coughing as bad as I am now. Full bedrest meant that they were doing absolutely everything for me and wouldn’t let me do anything by myself.

You almost die once, and everyone loses their shit.

I must have dozed off for a moment, because when I opened my eyes, Viva was lying next to me. I smiled a little, curling up to her chest.

“Hey…” She gently rubbed my back. “You slept for a little bit… You feel any better?”

“Yeah… I’m just sleepy.” I yawned, laying closer to her.

“I can tell.” Viva smiles, kissing my forehead. “Do you wanna go back to sleep for awhile?”

“I feel like if I sleep too much, I won’t fall asleep tonight when I actually should sleep…”

“Alright… Here, will you drink some water?” She reached over to my nightstand, handing me a bottle of water.

I took it from her, the fresh, cold liquid feeling good on my throat. I drank the water slowly, until it was a little less than half gone.

“There you go…” She took the water bottle back on my nightstand, gently rubbing my head. “You should drink lots of water. It’ll make you feel better.”

“I will….” I mumbled softly, leaning into Viva’s touch.

Viva’s touch. The only touch I have every felt 100% safe with. I knew that she’d never, ever hurt me. Never in a million years.

“Viva….” I spoke quietly, looking up at her. “How….. How did the fire start?” Viva sighed, staying silent for a moment.

“Raven and Winter told me what happened. They were there when everything went down….”

…. Why does she seem scared?

“Viva. Tell me. What’s going on?”

“Clay….. Ash…. Was at The Hole N’ Fun…. He started the fire. He broke down the fire exits. He blocked the door. He burned everything….”

My heart stopped dead in my chest.

“W-What?” I started to shake. “N-No…. He… He couldn’t have! H-He’s banned! T-There’s no way that he—”

“Clay, Clay…” Viva gently caressed my face. “Breathe.”

Still shaking, tears in my eyes, I tried to breathe.

“Easy….” Viva held me close. “He wasn’t there when we were there…”

“But we…. We don’t know where he is!” I sobbed into her chest. “I don’t want to be hurt again!”

“I know, I know you don’t….”

“I….. I’ll have to tell them…. My brothers…. About everything…. Ash…. My pregnancy…. Feather….”

“Only if you want to.” I shook my head at that.

“If I don’t tell them soon, everything may reveal itself.” I paused for a moment. “Will you be there when I tell them?

“Of course I will, baby.” She brought my hand up to her, gently kissing it. “If you can’t tell some parts of it, I’ll help you explain it if you want.” 

“Thank you…” I leaned into her chest, her gently running her fingers through my hair. “You’re my safe person, Viva…. You’re the only one I feel truly safe with.”

“Oh, Clay…” She gently kissed my forehead. “That means a lot to me, but at the same time… I shouldn’t be the only person you feel safe with...”

“I can’t help it…” I whispered. “You’re the only one who I know wouldn’t ever hurt me… Physically or mentally.”

“Clay…”

“You brought out the best of me… A part of me I'd never seen.” I smiled as I sang, holding her hand. “You took my soul, wiped it clean… Our love was made for movie screens.”

“Oh, Clay…” She smiled, tears in her eyes. I coughed for a moment from singing. “Hey, easy…” She gently rubbed my back. “In and out, baby. Breathe in and out.”

I followed her instructions, breathing in and out slowly, my coughing finally ceasing, for now.

God, it’s going to be a long few days.

And so it was. Coughing, water, your brothers and girlfriend obsessing over whether you’re okay or not, more water, sleeping, waking up in a sweat because you had a nightmare, and even more water. Lots of water was involved.

Three days passed, and I felt way better than I did before.

Johnathan Dorian didn’t see it that way.

“Come on John, I’m fine!” I expressed, very annoyed.

“You were in a fire, dude! You need to rest!”

“And I did!” I rolled my eyes. “For four days I rested. I just want to get some fresh air and some food. Raven’s feeling better, I was going to meet him for lunch! Am I able to do that?”

“But—”

“For Gods sake John Dory, you’re such a buzzkill.” Viva giggled, wrapping her arm around me. “Besides, I’m going with him. He’s not going to be alone.”

“You get distracted by butterflies, Miss Viva.” He said matter of fact.

True. But I feel suffocated here, I need to breathe. Especially if I’m going to tell them about Ash…

“Be that as it may…” She smiled. “We’re just going to get lunch. Can we get lunch?”

“How about we all get lunch?” Floyd suggested, in the middle of a game of chess with Branch. He was losing.

“Great idea.” Branch smiled, moving his King. “Checkmate.”

“Aww, really??” Floyd crossed his arms, acting like he was pouting. Branch chuckled at his expression.

“Come on, I’ll buy you lunch.” Branch ruffled Floyd’s hair.

“Bruce! We’re going to get lunch!” John called out for my immediate older brother.

“Heck yeah!” Bruce came out from wherever he was. “Let’s get some food!”

Thank God.

Finally, we left to get food. Viva held my hand as we walked, I smiled.

I’m so lucky to have her…

Looking around, I saw the putt-putt trolls— Well, I guess they’re now pop trolls, or whatever they want to be…. It doesn’t matter as long as they’re happy. They were enjoying life, talking with other trolls. They seemed a little uncomfortable, but 20 years of being trapped in a golf course without a real means of civilization will do that to you. Socially uncomfortable as they may be… They were happy.

This is all I’ve ever wanted… True happiness.

I felt Viva squeezing my hand, I looked over at her. She was smiling.

She could tell I was happy. I am happy…. Happier than I have been in a long time.

Happiness…... This is what happiness feels like.

“I’m feeling burger and fries, what about you guys?” Viva asked, skipping ahead, gasping when she saw a little butterfly flying by. “Ooh, butterfly!” She giggled, chasing after it.

“Viva, wait up!” John called out, sighing once she was out of sight. “The girl has the attention span of a gnat. Viva!” John went after her to get her attention back on track.

“Used to it, right?” Branch asked, I nodded with a smile.

“For over 20 years, yeah.”

“Yeah… Poppy’s like that too.” He smiled, looking over and seeing Poppy talking with Smidge. He excused himself for a moment to go and talk to her. I smiled.

Good…. He deserves to be happy.

“Hey Floyd~!” A troll called my little brother over, waving at him.

“Friend of yours?” Bruce asked.

“More like an acquaintance.”

“Well, go make him your friend.” I smiled at him. Floyd sighed, pushing his wheelchair over to the troll in question.

“Well, I’ll go order food!” Bruce ruffled my hair, heading over to the food stand.

I guess I’ll stay here then…

I shuffled my feet awkwardly, seeing my brothers hanging out with someone, me feeling all alone. I saw Winter and Raven at a food cart, chatting amongst themselves. I smiled at them.  

I was alone. And I was okay.

“Hey, would you like a glass of lemonade?”

“Su—” I froze.

No, no, no, no, no.

Red fur, amber and gray hair, bright green eyes.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

It was him… It can’t be him….

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

But there he stood, lemonade in hand. That same creepy-ass smile on his face.

“Clay.” He smiles. “My, how you’ve grown…”

I took a step back. He took a step forward.

“Well?” He sneered. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

I couldn’t move, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t breathe.

Let this be a dream. For the love of GOD, let this be a dream!

***

Mr. Butterfly had gotten away, and John The Dream Killer dragged me away back to where we were before.

“You’re such a buzzkill.”

“You and Clay are the ones who wanted to eat out.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

Killjoy.

“Okay, where’d everyone go?” John sighed, trying to get his band of brothers back together. I chuckled, looking around. I saw Branch talking with Poppy. Floyd with some guy I didn’t recognize. Bruce in line for food. Winter and Raven were sitting, eating at a table. And Clay….

He was with Ash.

Shit!

Ash you motherfucking asshole! How did you find him?!

I growled, letting my claws out and my tail puffed out, I jumped in front of Clay, pushing him back, out of Ash’s reach, hissing at the guy that dared to call himself a troll.

“Viva—”

“What are you doing here, asshole?!” I growled. “Last time wasn’t enough for you?! Want another round??” I didn’t let my eyes off the guy.

“Ash!” I heard Raven yell, him and Winter jumping beside me to protect Clay.

“Raven… Winter.” Ash glared at them, then looked at me. “Come on, I’m just saying hello.”

“Fuck off or I’ll do it for you!” I stepped forward, letting out a hiss.

“Temper, temper.” He sneered. “I wouldn’t dream of messing with you.”

“Go ahead… You’re already here.” Winter growled, stepping beside me. “You know why you were banned fifteen years ago, and you still choose to show your face.”

“Yes, you see… I was banned from the golf course… But not Pop Village.” My heart sank. “And when I heard about that dreadful fire… Well, I chose a moment to connect with my fellow trolls again. It’s been a long fifteen years.”

“Yeah, not everyone likes rapists such as yourself.” Raven hadn’t moved his green eyes from this asshole. “And you started that fucking fire in the first place! You killed trolls, nearly killed me…. But I don’t go down so easily, I was left alive so that I could kill you….”

I looked back, seeing Clay frozen in place, all his brothers and Poppy were now next to him, confused as anything.

“Get him out of here. Hideout, now.” I ordered quickly, Branch nodded. He said something to Clay, grabbing him by his wrist and quickly pulling him away, followed by everyone else.

“Oh, Viva…” Ash growled. “I just wanted to say hello to an old friend, that’s all.”

“You know what you fucking did.” Winter hissed.

“Now get out. Before we make you get out.” I glared, claws still out.

He has three fucking seconds.

“Now why should I? I’m welcomed here just as much as anyone—” I punched him. Winter wacked him down with her hair and Raven grabbed him around the neck with his.

“You know what you did to him. All four of us know…” Winter growled. “He’s so pure of heart and you destroyed that you evil son of a bitch.”

“Guys, please—”

“You are never going near Clay again. Now get out!” I yelled, tail twitching angrily.

“Viva—”

“Winter, Raven, let’s get him out of here.”

“You got it, Viva.” Raven snarled at Ash, him and Winter already taking a running start in chasing him off. I followed suit.

Ash, you have no idea what you’ve done… And mark my words, you’re never going near Clay again.

***

“Clay, buddy, breathe. Just breathe.”

I can’t breathe! My lungs feel like they’re being sucked right out of my body!

“Guys, back up a little. I think it’s stressing him out.”

God, I can’t even make out WHO is talking anymore.

My arms were sweaty, my chest was on fire!

FUUUUUCK!

I started clawing my arms. Hard. 

“Hey, no, no, no, don’t do that.”

“NO!!!!” I screamed when I felt someone touch me. “Don’t hurt me! Don’t hurt me again!”

“Hey, nobody’s going to hurt you…”

“Leave me alone!” I sobbed. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again!”

“Clay, it’s okay, it’s okay. Nobody’s going to hurt you…” I felt someone’s hand on my leg, I quickly moved back, hands over my ears.

“Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t fucking touch me!”

“Guys, he’s having a panic attack. Stop touching him.”

I rocked back and forth, tears falling down my face.

I felt someone grab my arms again, I jerked away.

“I said stop touching him!”

“If one of us doesn’t grab his arms, he’s going to hurt himself!”

I felt a liquid drip on my hands, I looked down, tears blurring my vision. I knew what it was….

Fuck.

Ten years.

I was clean for ten years and Ash ruined it in two seconds!

I started screaming, closing my eyes, clawing my arms even more.

“Clay, Clay, buddy… You gotta calm down.” I felt someone grab my arms again, this time I got way more physical, I pushed them away, I heard something crash, a chorus of ‘Are you okay?’

Then…. Nothing. I didn’t hear anything for a long few moments. Eventually, I looked up.

Viva.

She was sitting across from me. Just waiting in silence.

She always knows…

“You wanna breathe for me?” She took a deep breath in and let it out as an example. I did the same. “There we go… Can I see your arms?”

Shakily, I held my arms out for her to see. They were bloody… There was so much blood.

“Branch, can you get some bandages?” More tears fell down my face as she said that. “It’s okay. Hey… It’s okay. You didn’t mean to. It was an accident.”

I shook a little more as she said this, falling into her arms and crying.

“Shhh….” She kissed the top of my head. “It’s okay.”

Branch arrived with bandages and gauze, handing them to Viva. She got to work applying them to my arms. She’s an expert on how to wrap my arms after all these years…

“There you go… Does that feel better?” I nodded slowly, looking down. “Hey.” She gently lifted my head up by my chin, so I was looking at her. “This was not your fault. Do you understand?” I nodded slowly, more tears in my eyes. “Okay. Would you like a hug?” I nodded, she wrapped her arms around me, I sobbed into her chest.

We stayed like this for a long time until I could finally breathe again.

“Clay… Are you okay?” I looked up. Branch asked the question. I didn’t know how to respond…

“Did that attack have to do with that troll?” John eventually asked. I nodded.

“What Raven said…. How do you know he’s a rapist?” Floyd asked. I looked to Viva for help.

“Are you ready to tell it?” She asked, I shook my head.

“No…. But I feel like I have to.” I spoke quietly. Poppy, John, Bruce and Branch joined us on the floor. Floyd slowly making his own way down, Raven and Winter beside him, I don’t even remember seeing them come in. All of us sat in a circle, waiting for someone to speak.

“This troll… Did he hurt you?” Bruce asked, I nodded.

“Yes.” I sighed. “I need to tell you from the very beginning what happened…” I looked at Viva, squeezing my hand tightly.

“His name is Ash.”

Chapter Text

“I was fourteen when I met him…” I looked up at my brothers and Poppy, seeing that they were paying close attention to every word that I said.

“He came to us in the middle of a storm, we took him in. Never in a million years did we think that a troll would hurt another troll.” Viva added, squeezing my hand in comfort.

“I didn’t think anything of it at first…” I sighed. “The touching, the compliments, him getting so close to me… I just thought he was a nice guy…”

“I take it that wasn’t the case?” Bruce asked, I slowly shook my head.  

“It was some time after I turned fifteen… Sometimes he would help us with managing the golf course… He was older than we were, he knew more than we did at the time… I didn’t realize it then, but he was gaining my trust so that he could hurt me.” I shut my eyes tightly, looking down. “I was reading a book that night… I thought he was going to leave after we did some paperwork for the golf course, but… He stayed.”

My arms shook as I told the story, letting out slow breaths to try and calm myself. Viva gently ran her fingers over my hand in a comforting manner.

“It’s okay. Take your time, mi amor” She whispered to me.

“He called me pretty… He touched my hair… I… Didn’t realize what he was doing at first, b-but… I didn’t like him touching me in that moment… He kept going, touching my face, my hair…... My chest…” More tears fell down my face, my brothers looking angrier by the second. “He pushed me into my room… He pinned me down… I tried to fight back, I really did, but… H-He was too strong…”

“Clay…” Branch’s voice was low, yet compassionate. “Did he rape you?”

I nodded, trying to wipe the tears away that were stinging in my eyes.

Please don’t hate me…

“Oh my god….” Floyd had tears in his eyes as well.

“Who else knew?” JD asked, his voice cold.

“Viva… Raven… Winter… Smoke… And Clover…” I sighed, looking at my eldest brother. “And now all of you.”

“How did you cope?” Bruce asked, speaking kinder than JD. I looked at Viva, wanting her to tell it, she nodded in understanding.

“He had locked himself up for a few days. It’s not abnormal for him to get caught up with a book, so we went to check on him.” Raven sighed, messing with the ends of his sweatshirt.

“We kicked him out that night.” Winter added. “We don’t tolerate any kind of rapists or abusers…. We wouldn’t let anyone else get hurt because of him…”

“…. He caused the fire..” I spoke up, causing collective gasps from my brothers.

“He what?!” JD yelled, his arms practically shaking in anger. “That-That’s murder!”

“We know….” I sighed. “Murder. Rape. Arson. Child sexual abuse….”

“With those alone, he could be locked up for years.” Bruce tried to console me, I shook my head.

“It doesn’t matter…”

“It does if he’s coming back!”

“Clay…” Branch spoke up. “Have you talked to anyone about this.

I shook my head. “We didn’t exactly have a therapist or mental health professional at The Hole N’ Fun.”

“So… You’ve had no mental help?” Bruce asked, I shook my head in response. “Clay…. This was fifteen years ago! You’ve kept this inside for so long…. That’s not good…”

“It is what it is, Bruce…” I looked at everyone’s facial expressions, they were filled with emotions that I was having trouble picking up on. I looked down again to avoid eye contact.

“Clay…” Floyd spoke up. “Is…. He the reason you hate physical contact?”

“Yes. The only reason I let Viva, Raven and Winter touch me is because I’m used to it, and they were there for me through everything.” I fidgeted with my hands, nervous habit. “It’s not because I don’t trust any of you, I just…. I was out of your touch for several years and I…. I don’t know how to process being touchy again with family.”

“So… You want to hug us…” Branch spoke, thinking aloud.

“I’m just…. Afraid… It’s also why I don’t like having my hair touched, he….” I breathed in sharply. “He pulled my hair really bad… When he was…” I didn’t finish my sentence, everyone understood what I was getting at.

“Clay… I’m so sorry this happened.” Poppy spoke calmly. “Trust me, I’ll see to it that he won’t get back in the village ever again.”

“How are you going to—” Branch started to say, but realization came to him before he could finish his sentence. “Smidge?”

“Smidge.”

“She’s got this.”

“Wait….” John looked confused. “Smidge is a girl?” Bruce smacked his head. “Ow! What was that for!”

“Stop saying stupid stuff!”

Idiot.

I looked down at my arms, covered in bandages from…. What I just did.

“Clay?” Viva was looking at me in concern. “It’s not your fault. You were having a panic attack.”

“I still did it…” More tears glistened in my eyes.

“Viva’s right, it was an accident. You didn’t mean to hurt yourself.” Bruce tried to sympathize with me. I sighed, shaking my head.

“You don’t get it…. I’ve done it before.”

“Done what?” Branch raises his eyebrow in confusion. “Hurt yourself?”

I nodded slowly, slowly breathing in and out.

“After Ash… I grew very depressed… I used…. Unhealthy coping mechanisms…” I moved my fingers together, index to thumb, thumb to middle. “I cut myself…”

“You…. You what?” JD looked shocked.

“Why…... Why did you want to do that?” Floyd asked, hurt in his eyes…

“I didn’t see a bright side back then… I thought I would only feel pain, and as a trauma response…. I used physical pain to try and feel better about myself… I started when I was fifteen… I stopped when I was twenty, when I slowly started to get better…”

“You were clean for ten years?” Bruce asked, I nodded looking down, feeling ashamed. “Hey, it’s okay. We can get you there again. Like Viva said, it was an accident.”

“My stupid panic brought it on…”

“No… That stupid son of a bitch brought this on!” I flinched as John raised his voice.

“John, please—” Raven tried to keep him calm.

“No! I can’t… I can’t believe that... God!” John had no words for what he was trying to express, getting up, running his fingers through his hair, starting to pace back and forth.

It’s my fault… I brought this on…

“John, calm down.” Winter tried this time. “You’re just making him more stressed out.”

“No… I’m sorry, I… I need some fresh air.” John then left the bunker.

Just like all those years ago, he left.

Because of me.

The room was silent, nobody said a word for a long time. Eventually, Bruce stood up.

“Let me talk to him.”

“Bruce?” Branch spoke quietly. “Please don’t fight with him again.”

“I’m not, Bitty B.” Bruce ruffled the youngest’s hair. “I’m just going to talk. I promise.” With that, he left to go find John.

My arms shook once again, more tears filling my eyes.

It’s my fault……

“Hey…” Viva put a hand on my shoulder. “Neither of them blame you.”

“Of course we don’t blame you.” Branch gave me a small smile. “You were a kid. That monster is so much older than you. None of that should’ve happened.”

“Still happened…” I mumbled. “I couldn’t do anything to stop it…”

“Doesn’t mean its your fault.” Floyd spoke up, tears staining his face. “No matter what, Clay… None of what that son of a bitch did to you was your fault. None of your coping mechanisms, while unhealthy, were not your fault. You were in pain, you were hurting… That’s how your trauma responded. Nothing you could’ve done could have prevented you from doing any of this.”

He may think that…. But deep down, I know…

Everything Ash has done to me is my fault.

***

Looking through each picture, I smiled. Each picture of little Clay. I turned to the next one, chuckling a little at one of Clay with a cereal bowl on his head, milk and lucky charms all over his hair and face.

“John?” I didn’t move from my spot, knowing it was Bruce. He sat beside me. “I remember that… He was trying to make Floyd laugh…”

“Yeah… There’s a reason they call it ‘the terrible two’s’” I smiled slightly. “How…. How did our little ray of sunshine turn into this little dark stormy cloud?”

“He was hurt…” Bruce sighed, shaking his head. “By an adult that he should’ve been able to trust.”

“But he couldn’t… Because he wanted to sexualize a child…” I shook my head, putting the photos down, clenching my fists. “If the band never broke up and we saved him from the cave-in…. He would’ve never been hurt.”

“Then he wouldn’t have grown as close to Viva as he is now. He wouldn’t have his safe person.” I looked at Bruce, realizing he was right. He needed Viva more than anything. He’s so in love with her, anyone can see it…

“We need to protect him.” I spoke, anger in my voice. “That nasty, crusty-ass, son of a bitch messed with the wrong family.”

“John. Clay just wants Ash to leave him alone. That’s what we need to make sure happens. We don’t need violence.”

“The fuck we don’t!” John got up and paced. “His old ass lusted on a fifteen-year-old! A literal child! If that doesn’t call for a beat-down, nothing does!”

“Viva, Winter, and Raven already chased him out. Smidge and DJ are doing boarder checks, he’s not going to get past them.” I rolled my eyes at that response.

“Smidge and DJ are young. Too young to fight an older guy like that or understand what it really means to be in danger. We need reinforcements.”

“Like whom?” I eyed John in suspicion, causing him to smile. “Oh God, what do you have in mind?”

“The rock trolls for one! I know for a fact Queen Barb could help take on Ash!” I smirked, crossing my arms. “How about we invite her to stay here for awhile with her fellow rock trolls?”

“You think she’ll go for it?”

“Hell yeah she will! Maybe we could set up a small concert, with boarder patrols, of course. The insaneness of pop and rock will be enough to keep that cheap bastard away from here.”

“Okay, let’s say she says yes… She still has her people. What do when she needs to go back?” I smiled at my immediate younger brother’s question.

“She’ll teach us to fight! Maybe let one or two of her people stay to help us out!”

“Good god, you’re a freaking idiot.” Bruce facepalmed. “You talk this over with Poppy, I’m not getting in the middle of this nonsense!”

“Plan on it, know she’ll agree.” I smirked. “The girls all for friendships. That’s what this is, protecting someone we love, and forming new friendships.”

“Good god…” Bruce sighed. “Fine. Set it up. Let Clay know though, you know how he is with surprises like that.”

“I know, don’t worry.” I looked at picture of Clay, nodding slowly. “Everything I do, I do it all for him…”