Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Danny, can you pass the potatoes please.” Dick asked. All the siren’s present for dinner along with Dick and Jason.

“Sure mother fucker.” Danny said and passed the potatoes down with his powers. Dick took the bowl with a questioning look. Jason was staring at Danny trying to parse out what the hell that was about. But the kids' emotions were completely calm and chill. He decided to ignore it for the moment.

“Thanks?” Dick said a little unsure, plating himself a portion. “Ellie, you want any?” He asked, looking down at their little sister sitting next to him.

“Sure mother fucker.” Ellie answered, sliding her plate towards him. Dicks brow furrowing with a bit of worry.

“Kittens, What's gotten into you?” Selina asked her kids the same Time Jason turned on Dick. “What the fuck did you do Dickhead?”

“I have no idea?” Dick said with a pout. “Whatever it was I didn't mean to.”

“You didn’t mean to fuck our mom?” Both kids said in that creepy insync thing they'd do. Both staring down Dick who along with Selina was gaping at her children.

Croc dropped the bowl of coleslaw on his plate with a clang, and Jason was choking on his bite of meatloaf. He was having a hard time focusing on clearing it though with how hard his body was trying to laugh. He slapped his hand a few Times on the table face turning red as his helmet.

“Who told you that!?” Selina collected herself faster.

“Is he our dad?” The kids bypassed the question sending Harley into her own cackling when Jason phased through his chair to land on the floor, his lips starting to get a blue hue. Pam expertly hid her own amusement with her glass of wine.

“No, no, absolutely not!” Dick protested.

“Robbing the cradle there, Selina.” Harley wheezed out.

“Kids, math, do the math please! He is not your father!” Selina held her head in her hands to just stare at her dinner.

“What math?” They asked.

“15, I would have to have been a teen dad. I did not have relations with your mom till I was an adult!.” Dick pleaded with his siblings. Oh fuck it was getting worse now with that thought hitting to hard. And Dicks new emotional crisis motivated Jason to phase his hand into his throat and pull out his half chewed bite. His now raspy breaths and laughter filled the kitchen. Waylon reached over to try and help pull him to his feet so he could get back in his chair.

“Holy shit I gotta tell Roy! That was fucking amazing. Kids, kids.” Jason cackled.

“Don't you dare!” Dick and Selina shouted at the man. Who had to grab the table he almost phased out his chair again.

“You both are sure?” Danny and Ellie asked while scrutinizing them both.

“Yes.” “Positive 100%”

“Like that pregnancy test 13 years ago.” Harley cut in.

With that Ellie reached into her chest and pulled out a folded poster board and Danny pulled a marker out his arm.

“What is that?” Dick asked, a bit manic.

“All the pictures of mom with different people we stole from Tim.” Danny said putting an x through the little check box next to the promiscuous picture of Dick and Selina on top of a shelf in a warehouse. Looking to be pulled from a security camera.

Jason started cackling again. And Pam snorted her wine into her nose, having to tilt her head back and fan her face, tears streaming down her face as she now also openly laughed.

Selina snatched the poster looking at it with growing horror. Harley leaning over her shoulder with a wolf whistle. “Damn I want some copies for our scrapbook.” Pam nudged the bottle of wine closer to Selina trying and failing to compose herself.

The growing tension was cut when Waylon finally spoke up. “Man who Need's trashy daytime TV with you guys.”

eyes around the table snapping to Grundy as he started laughing out loud. The sound booming. “Maury” the first word Grundy had ever fucking said to them.

“I'm going to murder your brother.” Selina Voiced to the room. Which sent Jason into another laughing fit and through the floor.

**************
“Red I just had the best day of my life afterlife everything.”

“OH kay.” Tim answered his com nervously. Jason sounded way to cheery.

“For that reason I'm giving you a heads up. You need to lay low for a while unless you want to join the dead robin club.” Jason’s com closed right after.

“Well that was omniscience as hell.” Tim commented.

“Oracle, do you have eyes on Red Robin?” Batman's gruff command came in.

“What did you do now?” Robin voiced. Great it was the group com.

“Yeah he's…” the com cut out. Tim stiffened looking around.

Selina landed in front of him way close causing him to stumble back a bit clutching his bow staff. “Uh hi catwoman.” He whipped around just before backing into a manic looking nightwing. Oh he was in trouble.

“HI buddy, we need to talk.” Dick said in a way to chipper voice. Tim dropped into a defensive position. Why was it always him! What did he do?!

“I'm up for talking, always up for talking. At a distance.”

Selina held out the open colorful poster board for Tim to see. But kept backing him into the wall.

“Hey! How'd you get those?!” Tim asked, recognizing his photos right away.

“Better question Timmers, how'd the kittens get them?” Dick asked.

“Wha… no, no, I had my eyes on them the whole Time! I didn't even drink coffee so I wouldn't need a bathroom break.” Tim took another look at the pictures before blushing.“I wouldn’t have let them see those of all my photos. They were in a sealed cabinet.”

“Why do you even have these?!” Selina smacked the poster.

“For evidence.” Tim said like it was obvious. He started looking at the details of the poster, from the percentages, boxes with x, and colorful rings next to each photo varying from 1 to 5 with no easily i.ded variable it tied to. “What's the colored circles for?”

“Their probable fruitloop scale” Selina said bitterly.

“Wow, ok, nice detail with punnet squares.” Then Tim looked at the picture that had an x next to it to see a rather risqué picture of Dick and Selina. “Oooohhh.”

“I got called a mother fucker today by the kittens!”

“They thought nightwing sired them!” Tim cringed at that.

“That was probably pretty awkward.” Tim tried to sympathize.

Dick glared at him. “I think that's an understatement!”

“So this is why Jason was so happy.”

“He hasn’t stopped laughing! Someone pissed themself at his early mob meeting before patrol! The kids pulled this out at dinner! Do you have any idea how traumatizing this is for everyone?”

“I mean, this is a good start on a well creative evidence board. A little school science fair…"Tim's eyes widened. “The school science fair is in a month…”

“I want every copy you have of these photos and any others they didn’t find of similar nature. There better not be any copies anywhere. Or else.” Selina snapped her whip taking his bo staff jab him in the gut against the wall.

“Yes ma’am.” Tim answered with a fast nod of his head. Mind racing at the fallout if the kids presented that at the school. Both Bruce and Batman were on it, which would help with his cover but not theirs. And just thinking about the kids walking up and asking questions of some of the others on that list. Wildcat would have a heart attack if kids showed up asking if he was their dad. “Right away.”

“You have 24 hours.” she threatened before rolling up the poster and leaving his bo on the roof they were on.

Nightwing shook his head at him in disappointment.

“kon!”
*************************************
“You don’t think this is risky? She wanted all copies.”

“I just need her to think she got all of them. And for the kids to not ever find them again. Ergo you take them from here. And put them in our safe house.”

“Why do you need these? Dude, it's weird. I think they should be burned too.”

“You never know when we might need the blackmail.”

“Some of this is your family!”

“That’s exactly who I need the most blackmail on! They all have blackmail on me too.”

“Tim none of your family better have pictures of you like this with anyone. And you shouldn’t either.”

“It’s fine. It’s not like I look at it unless I need it.”

“You are insane. But I'll move it. Cause Rao those poor kids should not have been able to come across this Tim!”

“It was in a locked filing cabinet in a safe in a sealed off hidden room! It’s not like I left it out!”

Chapter Text

“Hey kids, what you up to?” Waylon asked as the kids climbed up on the couch with him. It was a slow Saturday but he had the kids by himself today, they had been doing their own thing since they woke up. And he'd been relaxing since breakfast watching TV.

“Uncle Waylon, are you our dad?” Danny asked softly tucked into his side.

“What? No I'm not..” He felt more than saw both kids shrink a little.

“I wish you were our dad.” Ellie murmurs into his otherside.

“Hey,” He nudged them both gently, pulling them to his lap. “Where's this coming from? What made you think to ask me that?”

“You're nice and like us like we are.” Danny said. “Was hoping maybe mom lied about the gifts to throw us off.”

“And this.” Ellie pulled an old Polaroid out of her leg and passed it to Waylon. It was an old picture, with a young Selina when she first started out as catwoman. And him. The two of them were in an alley with her hanging off him he remembered that night. He remembered that night very well. Waylon stared wide eyed at the tiny piece of shiny aged paper in his hand. It was highly faded. Original quality. He felt his cheeks just radiating heat. Oh boy.

“Kids. just cause i’m not your dad. And I'm not. Doesn’t mean I don't love you both just the same.” Waylon hugged the kids tight. “And no matter what happens, I'm going to be here for you.” The kids hugged him back just as tightly. He waited for them to relax before asking his next question. “Can you tell me where you got this picture?”

“We didn’t get a name.” Danny told him.

“He just came up to us and gave us the picture. Said he heard we were Selina’s kids and wanted to help us find our dad.”

“Was this before or after you raided red robin’s…” Waylon struggled to think of a word to describe those pictures, “uh photo albums?”

“Few days before.” Ellie said. “Then we found all those and my science teacher suggested to me to do a paternity probability board for the science fair. Since I don't know who my dad is. That’s if my mom has an idea of some possibilities I could use that to show the punnett square to guess who was likely my dad. Then when we had the whole list we got kinda scared who it could be. Lots of fruitloops.”

“How about we just do a paper mache volcano. I’m sure you guys can come with something fancier than vinegar and baking soda alone. But lets go with a classic for your first science fair.” and Waylon was showing up to this thing to make sure the teacher knows they are out of bounds with that fucking shit.

“That sounds cool.” Ellie replied.

“I’ll help. What about you Danny, what are you doing for the science fair?” Waylon asked. While making mental notes to talk to Selina and the others about all of this.

“I don’t know. Maybe my generator? I have the prototype almost done. The one we can use to power the whole house.” Danny said.

“That’d be really cool. Just be careful about it.” Waylon said. “You kids got any plans today?”

“No.” they both said, snuggling into his chest. Croc felt his tail giving happy flicks.

“Well how do you kids feel about hitting up marcello’s and then heading to the dump to chuck some appliances and cars?”

“Seriously?”

“Yep, just the three of us. We can have a day of fun just us?”

“Hell yeah!” Both kids threw up their hands in their excitement. Croc barely got his head clear from getting a smack to the nose.

Letting his more animal sounding chuckle come out. “Alright. Change into some play clothes that might get destroyed. And then we’ll head out.” Both kids phased out his arms and flew through the ceiling to their rooms to change.

Chapter Text

“Camera’s are out in your area b. The kittens aren’t answering but maybe they are in you area so heads up.”

“Noted oracle.” Batman responded. The man on alert as he moved threw an alley into a sewer monitoring and open access station. He had gotten some information on scarecrow using this area to pump the sewers with his fear toxin. It’s not much bigger than a large shed. Batman is quiet as he moves round looking for anything out of place when the door slams shut and hiss begins to emanate. He goes for his gas mask when his one armed block of an incoming blow isn’t enough to stop him from flying into a piece of machinery. Where the gas seems to be coming from. His gas mask broken. He hits the emergency button on his com before he blacks out.

*****************************

Batman came to find himself chained rather heavily to a steel chair. He was also not the only one in the room. A rather annoyed Catwoman, a boRed poison Ivy, Harley was already halfway out of her mild restraints but wasn’t actively working to get. Just lounging in her chair waiting patiently for her. And Red Hood was tied the most heavily with some sort of glowing green rope his entire torso arms encased. And his thighs to his ankles like a cocoon. His helmet was on. But Bruce could almost feel his rage. Nightwing was also tied to a chair next to him with heavy chains like himself. He looked as annoyed as Selina but with a layer of resignation. A strange device was on the floor giving off a faint green glow.

“Good everyone is present and awake now. We can get started.” Waylon spoke up coming into Batman’s line of sight.

“Waylon was this really necessary?” Ivy asked.

“Considering how stubborn and egotistical all of you are, yes!!!” Croc roared. “Grundy let her in.”

“Where are the kids Croc, you said you were going out with them.” Jason seethed.

“Rose is in town and they are with her and Helena. Having a good night. Doing what? I don’t know and don’t care as long as they aren’t here.” Croc stood tall with his hands behind his back. “This is an intervention and family meeting.”

“Seriously?” several members voiced.

“Yes. We need to have a serious talk about the kids. They are getting serious about wanting to find their dad’s identity.” Croc staRed down Batman. We need to all get on the same fucking page on easing them into the knowledge and have a very untraumatizing introduction.”

“And I'm here to help mediate this discussion.” Dinah said walking in with Grundy in her black canary costume.

“What am I chopped liver? I could have handled that position Croc!” Harley pouted.

“You are too close to this.” Croc said.

“And she’s not?” Dick asked.

“I’m not screwing a parent.” Dinah answered, taking her own seat.

“You helped orchestrate our kidnapping with them?” Bruce asked with a frown.

“Of course, I agree you are all stubborn as hell. And Waylon filled me in on some of the kids’ more interesting ideas and activities when searching for the identity of their father.” Dinah said all smiles a bit strained at the end. “They are ready to learn. But not sure you all are.”

That had Batman’s interest not that he showed it. He did catch Nightwings eye. So he did know the kittens wanted to know who their father was and hadn’t shaRed that information. That was disappointing. Even dick had been knowledgeable of that fact and helped keep it from him.

“We are going to start by asking who is for the kids having a meeting with their father and who are against it.” Dinah said. “Simple affirmation verbally would be great. Those for?”

Dick Bruce Croc Grundy and Harley voiced their affirmation. Jason pam and Selina stayed silent.

“Alright, for those against, can you state your reason in a way that puts Danny and Ellies well-being at the forefront?”

“His history with his other children.” Selina stated.

“No proof that the justice league is doing anything against the giw.'' Pam stated.

“Ditto both those. And he’s a pain in the ass to deal with.” Jason ended.

“Alright, his difficulty to work with is not something we are going to focus on here.” Dinah by-passed Jason's complaint. “Though I can admit Batman has some troubling history with his other children, I'd like to think he’s been improving.” She ignored the scoff and snort from his two oldest kids and Bruce’s growing frown. “Can any of you reference something explicitly that you’d find to be damaging for the kids to be exposed to if they met their father?”

“Emotional constipation.” Harley said first despite having been on the aye side.

“Emotionally abusive…”

“Stop, more specific please.” Dinah said. “We need direct behaviors that Batman can be asked not to do.”

“You think you can give him a list of things he’s not allowed to do in order to see the kids?” Pam asked.

“He doesn’t listen to anyone but himself!” Selina argued.

“I can’t say I fully agree with that, but I think he needs direct requests that he can make an attempt at or just refuse outright.” Dinah answered. “What is your biggest fear he’s going to do to the kids?”

“Use ectotech on them to force them to do what he wants.'' Jason said. “And don’t act like you wouldn’t. If you could have ground all your robins anytime they pissed you off or disobeyed you with a flip of a switch. You already think they are dangerous. If you could force them onto a leash with their powers you’d jump at it.”

Batman glared at his son. “I wouldn’t do that without cause.” Batman countered.

“But you would do it. And your definition of cause isn’t about to line up with ours.” Selina stated.

“Can we come up with a list of scenarios where such use you’d approve of and ones that you’d bar it?” Dinah asked.

“Canary, I don't think this kind of conversation is going to help build trust here.” Dick said with a strained smile.

“It's going to be uncomfortable but ultimately it should. Our goal here is to have a definitive do and do not list and hard boundaries all parties have in order to have a safe and easy introduction to their extended family.” black canary answered.

“The kids are going to find out.” Croc said. “They are looking and are getting unknown help in poking at their dug up leads. We are running out of time here. Do we want the kids to just run up to Batman or show up at your day job asking and how are you going to answer? Lying to them is going to cause long term issues. And if they just get a yes out of the blue after all of this with no back up or context what happens? You guys need to get over yourselves and find a way forward.”

“You really think he’d keep his word?” Pam asked with a sneer.

“What has made all of you think, i’d intentionally try to hurt my children?” Batman asked, a bit weary. Cause that’s what all this boiled down too.

“It’s not that they think you’d hurt them on purpose.” Dick said.

“We just think their wellbeing wouldn’t be your top priority. If you felt you had to do something that might hurt them for what you decide is for the betterment of Gotham or greater good.” Harley said nonchalantly.

“They’ve been through enough already, and carried enough of a burden on their own. They deserve to be put first for once in their lives.” Selina said. “You are incapable of putting anyone above your crusade.”

“Not even your kids.” Jason said coldly. Dick cringed in his seat but didn’t debate it.

“Damn you guys are going for the throat.” Croc said mockily. “Was kind of hoping you’d soften the blows a little.”

“You didn’t.” Batman said clenching and unclenching the muscles in his arm that had taken the blow from the man earlier.

“Like it’s easy to get the drop on you.” Croc blew him off.

“You can’t even bring yourself to lie to us and say you’d put them above your ideals.”

“I don’t want to lie to any of you.” Batman said calmly. “I just want the chance to know my children and be a part of their lives in a way that doesn’t have them cowering in fear at the sight of me.”

“Awwww…..”

A door banged. And the sounds of feet, several feet marching across the concrete floor. Drawing all heads toward it. “Well shit.” Croc voiced. Him and Grundy moving between this new threat and the contained members of their fucked up family unit.

The two groups make eye contact and draw black canary to her own feet. “Was there a job we missed the memo on?” Two-face asked taking in the tied up heroes and anti-heroes. “Was my calendar not updated Paulie?”

“No boss.” the man answered. “This ain’t our set-up.”

“Harvery, this has nothing to do with you. I just needed a place for the night.” Waylon said. “Can you just not, i got enough problems I'm dealing with here.”

“You’re having a tea party with half of gothams big players in my warehouse, Killer Croc. You expect me to walk away from this opportunity?”

“Kind of hoping.” he rubbed his head with one hand pointing to the contained group of vigilantes trying to work themselves free. Harley was loose but just had her head propped on her hands and her elbows braced on her knees.

“You’re interrupting our makeshift family therapy session.” Harley told the man.

Getting a hearty laugh from Two-face copied by several of his men. Though they all stopped abruptly when their boss did. “I’ll tell you what, let’s flip for it.” Two-face pulled out his tell-tale coin. “Heads, me and my men leave you to your little AA meeting. Tails, we mow down all of the trapped rats you’ve even gift wrapped for me.”

“Jesus just get on with it man! It’s not you’re gonna move on till you do anyway!” Jason shouted annoyed. Canary, a throwing knife in hand, not wanting to tip their hand, but the scrambler for Jason and Grundy’s connection to the kids was combined with a force field that could stop ghosts and humans. It also can’t run both functions at the same time. Danny said it was a toggle switch cause that’s what he had when he got the idea to build it.

“You and your crew are as impatient as Penguin has said huh?” Harvey mocked before flipping his coin. Waylon’s tail flicked with his frustration and anxiety as they all waited for the coin to finish its fall. Harley sneezed, drawing Two-face’s attention for a second. Which caused him to miss the catch of his coin. The coin makes a ting noise when it hits the floor, spinning on it’s edge. The scraping finally comes to stop along with the coin. Wedged in a gap between the slabs of the warehouse floor. Everyone was stock still just staring at it. No one wanted to be the first to comment on this new turn of events before Harvey, less setting him off in an erratic manner. “Paulie take all the boys and leave…” Harvey finally spoke up.

“But boss…”

“Did I stutter?!” Two-faced roaRed turning back towards his men with the scared side of his face.

“N…n…no boss.”

“Then get out all of you now!” he threw his arm in an aggressive arc motioning to the doors they had entered in. Harvey was breathing heavily trying to seemingly rain in his frustration till every last one of his men were out of the building. Once he was calm he bent over and grabbed his coin with one hand brushing back his hair with the other.

“Harvey…” Batman voiced to his once friend.

“The fates have apparently declared neither of those options to be satisfactory today, and we need a new third option.” Two-face griped, turning his head for his unscarred side to face the group more. “What the hell is actually going on here so we can figure out what we're supposed to tie to the coin.”

“A custody fight.” Harley happily said.

“Seriously? What over Catwoman’s two new brats?” he looked around before turning his scarred side towards them. “This a side-kick custody fight? You looking for the monopoly Batman?”

“No, actual custody fight.” Pam answered.

“Why are we talking about this with him?!” Jason asked, annoyed.

His head snapped back to the undamaged side. “Seriously? He looked around the men present before frowning the scarred side of his face being presented again. “Do you know who the father is?” Harvey presented himself again. “Not to be insulting just for the point. I’m assuming it’s not Grundy.” Which got a grumble from the zombie who crossed his arms over his chest.

Selina let a breath out through her nose while rotating her head in a circle. “It’s Batman.” “I am.” she turned a surprised look to Bruce. Surprised he’d admit that to the man.

Two-face turned his full front facing attention on the caped crusader. “Really Bruce?” the man said in such a tired and fed up tone. “One bastard wasn’t enough?” Two-face turned on the man more fully. “Like you ain’t got enough kids. You join a cult like your great-grand daddy?”

A crackle came from Jason's helmet. Followed by ominous laughter. “Maybe get that one fixed before you start making more.” Two-face pointed at Red Hood.

“Hey!” Hood snapped at the deranged crime boss. Which had Dick giving a little snicker. And Croc rubbing his forehead. Harvey turned back towards the group.

“Who has current custody of the kids and what’s the problem?” Harvey asked, his eyes narrowed on Batman. “Is it cause they have powers? The word on the street is they have powers.”

“We do.” The sirens spoke up together.

“Yeah they got powers.” Croc answered.

“So guessing the boys are here to support their pops.” two-face spoke up.

“Hell no I don't! I’m on the girls' side.” Jason argued. Two-face looked at him before moving on with a shrug.

“You three, what’s your involvement?” Two-faced asked.

“Concerned uncles.” Croc pointed to him and Grundy before pointing at canary who waved. “She’s friends with both and I brought her in as a mediator. Kids are getting curious about their dad. And they are all being stubborn.”

Harvey turned towards them. “So three of you not tied down are the sensible ones here, got it. Alfright, give me a minute. I got a folding table and laptop in the office, and I still got my notary. We’ll get something drafted up.” with that Two-face headed to go gather his things. He was quick about it. But it still took a minute.

“Didn’t see that coming. But whatever it takes.” Croc siad.

“Are you seriously thinking he’s going to help us come up with something here?” Hood snapped.

“Harvey’s mother was a family court judge.” Batman stated drawing everyone’s attention with varying sets of ire. Before two-face made his way back carrying a plastic folding table and a briefcase. Setting them up in the middle.

“Alright,” Harvey asked the group. He pointed at black canary, “what’s the end goal you’re looking for, not them.”

“Preferably to get them to agree to a 50/50 custody with split time between both homes. But we need to find conditions that both agree too.”

“We like you.” he said with a smile facing her straight on. “50/50 is also inline with most current child welfare practices in the best interest of the children to have a relationship with both parents. I got a basic sheet we can run down together to cover the easy stuff, and then we can all debate the harder stuff. They can’t come to an agreement we flip on it.” Two-face flipped his coin and caught it for emphasis.

“Why can’t we vote on it?” Red Hood sassed.

“Because that’s not my gimmick and you’d find a way to argue that too. The coin is unbiased and might actually push you fucking idiots to agree to something if the only option is risk giving up your entire position to chance.” Two-face said pointedly to Red Hood. Harvey put himself forward. “Let’s start with the easy one. School. Where are they going?”

The group as a whole agreeing easily to the school the kids are already enrolled in. and so they started down Two-face’s paperwork list.

Chapter Text

Harvey rang the doorbell to the rainbow puke covered apartment building. Two face focused on their cigarette. Normallly theyd send a lackey, but the material was sensitive. He wasn't risking a moron sateing their curiosity.

The door started to open and they heard Crocs raised voice. “You kids are gonna give Jason an absolute fit! Check the cameras please! Enough nut jobs have shown up here.”

They were met by two kids at the door, who definitely looked like bruce's spawn, with bud and lou at their heels Croc was in the kitchen stirring something in a rubber made tote. Tinned tuna or chicken from the smell of it.

“Your mother home?” Harvey asked. Two face removed the cigarette from their mouth.

“No.” the kittens said in unison. “Who are you?”

“Names Harvey, I'm a friend of your mothers.” Harvey answered.

“Kind of a stretch to call us a friend of their mother.” Two Face said.

“What’s your name?” the kids asked and looked at the scarred side of his face.

Both Two Face and Harvey’s eyebrows went up on their face. “Two face.” the man answered.

“Mr. Two Face, cigarettes are bad for you.” the kittens said in unison.

“Two face, you gotta lose the cigarettes to come in. ladies rules. No smoking around the kids. And if you break that rule, the kids enforce it by costing you all the cigarettes on your person. Jason barely gets one out of a carton before the kids find his stash and do who knows what to it. Even Oswald abides by it.” Croc shouted over his shoulder.

“How about we flip for it. Heads, we put it out. Tails, we’re the adult and keep our cancer sticks.” Harvey pulled out his coin rolling it across his fingers.

“Ok.” the kids said watching him do his little coin tricks before flipping it and catching it. Cupping it to the back of his hand. He lifted to smile. Two face frowned best he could tell from the pulling of the scar tissue. Two face put it out on the brick work. He was going to drop before remembering he was at ivy’s place. He didn’t need her tearing up their place. He shoved it in havey’s breast pocket. The kids smiled up at them and let them inside. “Are you two staying for lunch?”

“They always do that?” Harvey asked, shutting the door behind them and walking in.

“That shining's twins shit?” Croc clarified. “ Often enough. They are empaths. If it annoys you they know and they do it more. Ignore it and they will eventually get bored.”

“Invite strangers in for a meal.” Two Face asked the one he was curious about. The tikes didn’t even act shocked let alone scared of his face, and then asking them to hang around.

Croc let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah. yeah they do. That’s how I ended up in this position. Ain’t it Danny?”

Danny just smiled. Ellie broke form and laughed. “Collect strays like their parents?” Harvey asked, amused.

“Uncle jay calls us the stray cats who need to stop dragging home half dead things.” Ellie said with a wide smile.

“Uncle jay?” Harvey asked.

“didn't realize Hood was that chicken shit.” Two Face scoffed. He took them to the kitchen more fully. “When’s the cat coming back? We got the paperwork here. Including copies for her to file. We didn’t give that copy to the other party. But he could easily do it himself.”

“You brought it yourself?” Croc said washing his hands, before turning to the man. “Thanks for the trouble two-face.”

“And mr. Harvey.’ the kittens said getting out plates and cups.

“What?” Croc said looking at the kids and then Two Face. They were looking at the kids curiously too.

“They both came. So it’s thanks mr. Harvey and mr. Two Face.” they answered.

“You two want something to drink?” Danny asked.

“We got tea, coffee, coco, water, juice and aunt pam’s wine and uncle Jason’s beer.” Ellie listed out.

“Don’t offer up the adult drinks without the adults here to ok it.” Croc scolded.

“Water would be fine, thank you.” Harvey replied, setting down his briefcase on the table.

“Coffee. Black.” Two Face said.

“Kids, how do you know that he’s two people?” Waylon asked, his brow furrowed a bit.

“They have two souls.” Danny and Ellie answered while getting the two drinks. Along with theirs and a apple juice for Waylon in his cup.

“Who two can see that kind of shit?”

“What’s it look like?”

“Kinda like your clothes. It’s a little wavy in the middle where I guess you are glued together like conjoined twins. But you both have unique souls.” Danny answered with a shrug handing Harvey his water. Ellie handed Two Face his coffee.

“My apologies for miss personifying you?” Croc said a bit confused. He stopped to think real hard on if that was the best word to use. Or if he knew a better one.

“Don’t hurt yourself there Croc. It’s fine.” Harvey said with a chuckle.

“Maybe don’t tell the birds that. If it gets back to Batman, he could get in a pissier mood than he already is, ok kids?” Croc said.

“Ok.” they answered. Going back to digging out bread and crackers to add to the table.

“Why would it make him pissy?” Ellie asked.

“Me and the Bat used to be friends. Long time ago.”

“You're not now?” Danny asked.

“Not since we got like this.” Two Face said, gesturing to his side. Two face didn’t need to be an empath to see the kids get nervous.

“He’s not your friend anymore cause you guys look different than most people?” Ellie asked before shooting her brother a glance.

“No, not our appearance. We just stopped having the same views on society and justice and moral standings. It caused some conflict with his own.” Harvey said his face angled towards the kids.

Two Face turned towards the kids. “Which he learned from me. Bats wants me out of the picture. Thinks he can separate us and Harvey will get his rose tinted out look back. I came into the picture when we ended up looking like this.”

“But you can’t be separated.” Ellie said.

“It would destroy both your souls if someone got close to doing that.” Danny said concerned.

“Good to know.” Harvey said. “Maybe they should have a chat with old arnie.”

“thanks for being diplomatic.” Croc said sincerely.

“We dont believe in wasting our time.” They said to the man.

“Do either of you like chicken salad?” Ellie asked, scooping hers onto a sandwich.

“We are good thanks.”

“We aren't staying for lunch.”

“Thanks again for bringing this by. And helping. Went a lot faster with your help.”

“You have a plan yet?” Harvey asked, face turned towards Croc.

“No.” Waylon shot a sad look at the kids before turning back to the rogue.

“What's you brats problem with the Bat but not his brats?” Two face asked, his side angled towards them.

Danny looked up from his plate of crackers and chicken salad and shrugged. “It's not like he doesn't have a problem with us.”

“Is it philosophical differences? Or cause he’s at odds with you mom and aunts?” Harvey asked.

“He wishes we did not exist. Or want us in his city cause we aren’t human enough.” Ellie said, licking her fingers.

“That's not true kiddos.” Croc said with the sag of his shoulders. “He told you it was a misunderstanding.”

“He can say whatever. He's a liar.” Danny mumbled. led.

“I hate the bastard.” Two Face said. “Stuck up, self righteous, egomaniac.” The kittens smiled at him. “I have a hard time believing he wants you dead and gone.”

“We’re already dead.” the kittens said in unison to Croc's tired sigh.

Harvey pulled out a chair across from the kids and sat them down. Two Face sipped his coffee. “Lay out your case for us. Why do you think he believes that?”

“Your comment on being dead is strong, and lacks humor. I care more about that. I don’t care if you hate the Bat. That amuses me actually.”

“It’s why he doesn’t like us or Uncle Jason.” Ellie said.

“What?” both Harvey and Two Face asked.

“Hood and the Bat have philosophical differences.” Harvey said.

“Can we show them?” Danny asked Croc.

“Yeah kiddo. He…they aren’t gonna rat ya out to the feds or cops. They have a gang. Kinda like jay, only…”

“Less public outreach.” Two Face cut off the man.

“I’ll get the computer.” Danny said. Harvey sipped his water and watched the unmoving child eat his food.

“Have a lot of faith we won’t flip on it for a pay out Croc.” Two Face said.

“You’re right, I do. Out of all the community in Gotham the only ones i’m worried would flip on us, are black Mask and only to get at Hood, and only if he doesn’t have all the facts. With all the facts, not sure what that nut job would do. Which I know you haven't sold him out to Mask. And lock-up. Maybe clue master, but i hope he’s bright enough like Mask, but revenge drives some of us to do stupid shit around here. The rest of the circus around here is crazy, not stupid.”

“Joker is suspiciously absent from that list.” Harvey noted.

“We are more worried about other ideas that asshole would do. He wouldn’t give up the chance to make a mess himself.” Croc said as a second Danny came down through the floor with a laptop. Croc blew out a long breath and the second Danny disappeared. “Alright, buckle up buddy..iesss…” Croc stumbled and recovered. “And I'll take the heat from Pam if you want that wine the kids offered earlier.”

“You’re making this more dramatic than it needs to be.” Harvey said with a frown.

“If anything I'm under-selling the dramatics. All right kids, you got the scrambler ready?” Croc asked.

“Yep.” Danny said. Both him and Ellie now watched their guests in an eerie way that sets goosebumps up their neck.

“At Least i think you’ll like the first part.” Croc mumbled. “Go for it. Close your eyes.” he said to Two Face and Harvey. Once the blinding light ceased Croc gestured at the color swapped kids. “Two face, Harvey, the kids are something called halfa’s. They are half dead and half alive…” Croc started.

Chapter Text

“Hello, how wonderful to meet Pomeline’s new friends.” Pomeline's dad greeted them at the door. He looked at the two small children in their pjs, looking up at him before switching his full attention to the woman with them. “I’m Louis Fritch,” he held out his hand. “Pomeline’s father.”

Selina took the hand and gave it a shake. Smiling kindly at him. “Thank you for inviting my children for a sleepover. It was very kind of you. Will you be the only adult in the house this evening?” She took in the man’s appearance with a polo and khakis, his hair line was receding, but evenly and not past his ears. What was left was slicked back into a low pony. His facial hair was trimmed neatly. And he had very dark brows that contrasted with his mostly gray hair. But his eyes were kind and open with lines at the edges. He was handsome, but too soft looking for her tastes.

“Come in, come in. and no, my wife is running a bit behind at her office at the moment. But she plans to be home by 11pm.” He looked at his watch “which is about 4 hours before they should finish the hobbit trilogy. And a short nap. But I promise I can hold down the fort till she arrives mrs…” he asked leading them into the entry.

“My apologies. My name’s Selina. And it Ms. I'm not married.” she gave a bit of a teasing lilt to her lips.

“And what are your names? Just so I can be sure to use the correct ones?” He asked the children. Selina looked around the house casually while appearing to double check her children’s things. She had a suitcase and they each had a backpack. The suitcase was mostly so Danny could set up the joint viewing with his friends back in Amity. She was pleased with the redirected to the kids when she provided her lack of marital status.

“I’m Danny.”

“And I'm Ellie.”

He held out a hand to both of them. Letting both shake at the same time. “Pleasure! My sweet little Pommy doesn’t make new friends often. So I’m very excited to get to meet more. The rest of the teens are down in the theater. Would you like a little tour for your stay? Ms. Selina, would you like to see their little setup for the weekend?” he asked nicely, pointing deeper into the house.

“Oh, love to thank you. Your home looks quite lovely.” Selina said taking in the unique decor on the walls and displayed throughout the open floor plan in the living room and dining room and kitchen.

“Why thank you. My lovely wife picked the interior designer. I think they did fine work. They even found a nice way for me to display some of the gifts I get from clients."He led them on a short tour of the kitchen if they ran out of snacks in the smaller station downstairs in the theater room. Showing where the trash can was. The two guest bathrooms for the kids to use on the first floor if the kids needed them. There were also two half baths downstairs. Then it was to the stairs for the basement. “Pommy darling, more friends are here.” he announced as they came down.

“Hey guys…” Pomeline said before staring wide eyed at Danny and Ellie's mom.

“Ms..” Riko started but Selina cut her off.

“Ms. Selina.” she said with a sharp but teasing smile she gave the kids a wave. Kyle got up and took the suitcase from her with a thank you for letting them come.

Duke and Damian gave her knowing and unimpressed looks. Damian’s was far harsher. “Be good for the Fritche’s my little kittens. Call if you need anything.” she kissed her two kids good night.

“Ms. Selina if you’re comfortable seeing yourself out, I'll help the kids get introduced to the snack area down here.” Duke was on his feet before Pomeline’s dad finished. Colton was biting on a throw pillow to hide his expression even more than his glasses.

“Actually, I can help her. The front door and the back door kind of look the Same if you’re not paying attention.” he said, Moving to her side.

“Ah thank you Duke. Such a nice young man you are.” She teased him but allowed him to walk her out. And only teased a little when he darked the upstairs with his powers to obscure the views of the house holds decor. She made a point to comment on a few pieces. Not ones that actually caught her eye though. She’d keep those in the back of her mind in case the kids didn’t have a good time.

“Dad, we got this.” Pomeline whisper yelled at her dad. Trying to shoo him from behind the mini kitchen they had in their theater room to look like a concession stand. Her dad had the popcorn machine running, and the mini hotdog roller too, and was checking on the soda dispenser. “Can you just go back upstairs?”

“But Pommy, you have new friends over. I want to get to know them better. I didn’t like the friends you had before. But then you made new friends who are much better.” her dad said pointedly. He moved to the warming trays to drop in a tub of cheese to warm and one for chili. “We have one vegetarian chili, is that ok Pommy?”

“Probably best.” Riko said, eavesdropping in and checking out the setup. It was like a convenience store in their basement, rich people had the craziest shit. “Veggie dogs? Or meat?” she asked, tipping her head at the roller. She caught Duke coming back down the stairs.

“All beef kosher and vegetarian. I have them divided on each side.” Pom’s dad informed her.

“Cool, cool. Thanks mr. Fritch.” Riko then turned towards Danny and Ellie, setting up their gear near the hardware for the tv and all the game consoles and media players. “I should warn them.”

“Are they vegetarian too?” Louis asked his daughter.

“Maybe? Maybe on just hot dogs. Ellie ate whatever on our trip. Maybe it’s Danny. I’ll figure it out. Dad, I can manage my own party. And my new friends are not like my old friends ok. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“How do you have a fear of hotdogs? Is that even a real phobia?” Colton asked loudly behind them.

“I’m not scared! I’m just prepared!” Danny answered back sharply. Pomeline looked behind her with her dad to see Danny behind a chair holding what she thinks is a laptop like a wrestler holds a chair before bringing it down on another wrestler.

“You know what.” her dad turned off the roller. “There is some frozen pizza upstairs. I’m just going to make that.”

“Probably ran into Condiment King one too many times.” Izzy offered an explanation for their strange behavior. “Do you need help with anything sir?”

“Please, no, call me louis or Mr. Fritch. No sir needed around here. And no. I got this. I can get it started then come back down and…”

“I’m sorry sir, I don’t mean to be rude.” Izzy said, cutting off Pom’s dad and sliding a note across to him.

Pom read it along with him but kept a straight face as his shoulders slumped. It read, Danny and Ellie are uncomfortable around wealthy adult men, due to a stalker. Can getting to know them wait till your wife is around?

“Riko, and I would be happy to come up and help you in the kitchen. We are really grateful for you having all of us over. I know it’s a lot of teens to feed.” Izzy said softly. She didn’t want it to seem like they were calling Pomeline’s dad a creep.

“No, no, that’s alright. It’s Pommy’s party. I can handle some frozen pizzas” He said light heartedly. “If you need anything i’m right upstairs.” He took the hot dogs with him.

“Sorry if I hurt his feelings.” Izzy said.

“Don’t be.” Pomeline said, turning back to the seating area. “Mom will contain him out of our hair when she gets home. She understands I am a teen who likes her space. Dad still treats me like a child he doesn’t mean to, but it’s like he can’t comprend i’m growing up.”

“You know it could be worse.” Colton said a bit pointedly gesturing at half the room.

“Hey, it’s not a contest or comparison.” Kyle shot back harshly.

“We aren’t that sensitive to not being able to be around happy normal families.” Riko snarked back. “Normal families have complaints about each other too.”

“It’s usually about being too clingy or nosey too.” Danny said from his spot wiring things up.

“What’s normal anyways? We sure ain’t.” Ellie added laying starfished on the floor.

“I think we are all just different kinds of normal.” Kyle said all Mr. Rogers like.

“Tsk.” most of the room burst out into laughter after Damian's remark or lack thereof.

“You are related to her. So you aren’t normal either. Two you hang out with all of us. You just haven’t figured out your defect yet.” Colton said to Kyle.

“Kyle's quirk is he’s overly responsible and emphatic.” Danny stated matter of factly.

“Yeah, like Jazz.” Ellie said Danny nodded along.

“I’m not overly responsible. I’m perfectly normal level of responsible.” Kyle defended himself.

“Maybe, just a tad.” Duke held up his pointer finger and thumb close together.

“He even gets offended like Jazz.” Ellie said, getting another nod of agreement from Danny.

“Guys…” Jon said nervously.

“Cease that.” Damian scolded. Olive made pointed eye contact at her girlfriend who just shrugged.

“Where are the bowls and I can fill some for everyone.” Izzy said pointing at the popcorn machine.

“Dad has plastic buckets he collects in the lower cabinet to the left of the machine.” She said tiredly.

“Pom’s dad is really into movies. Its probably why he wanted to join us besides meeting the new party members.” Maps said..

“More like wanted to make sure Olive and Pomeline keep their hands above the blankets.” Colton teased, wiggling his eyebrows. “Maybe Duke and Izzy too.”

“My dad doesn’t know they are a couple, idiot.” Pomeline tossed a throw pillow at him.

“Why would it matter where their hands are?” Ellie asked, looking at Colton. Riko snorted. Duke, Damian, and Kyle stared down Colton unimpressed.

“Probably like Roy and Kori. Before Jay tackled them on the couch.” Danny said.

“Oh!” Ellie said.

Damian made a face of disgust and Duke let out a world weary sigh. “What I say bout talkin bout that? I don’t wanna hear that. No one here wants to hear that.” Duke shot an accusing finger at Riko and Colton. “Don’t you dare say a word or raise a limb. I will break it.” Olive just shook her head with a smile at Pomeline. Pom responded with her own smirk.

“Is the player ready?” Kyle and Maps said in unison but completely different tones. Maps more questioning and her brother more demanding.

“Hm yeah. You can put the disks in. i’ve never seen one that holds multiple disks before.” Danny said. Finishing booting up his lap top that was now plugged into another contraption Jon couldn’t identify that was then plugged into the computer attached to the tv. He did look up when everyone crowded around him and Ellie. Maps was in front of him setting up the disk player. “Uh, you guys still up for video calling my friends?” Danny asked a bit nervously.

“Yeah, we need proof buddy.” Colton said sarcastically. Jon hid his smile in his hand as Danny and Ellie cracked up.

Damian scowled at their answer. “You’re not gonna get that from our home town.” Riko made an aborted fist bump attempt looking a bit sheepish when Izzy snatched her hand into her lap.

“Would either of you perhaps be into necromancy?” Maps asked curiously.

“Wait, I know that word! Sam used it.” Ellie said excitedly.

“Yes, every time your mom revives the maddie ai.” Danny said with an eye roll. But he did give a little smirk giving a quick side eye to Duke. “Could say we are.”

“I hate you both.” Duke said, tossing a bit of popcorn at him after Izzy held out the bucket to him. Ellie lunged and caught it in her mouth.

“I think we are all eager to meet them.” Olive spoke up.

“You did set this up with them ahead of time?” Kyle asked.

“Yeah, but like,” Danny shrugged, “ we could change plans. They'd understand. I just hope they got all the safety measures up and my sister got out.”

“You have other siblings from your foster family?” Olive asked.

“My old family yeah.” Danny corrected. “We have an older sister. Our older brother is from them and Ellie's mom. Sorta. Its complicated. My parents from before don't know about him. We got a bunch of new older siblings to from our new family.”

“That sounds nice.” Kyle said

“That sounds horrible. Glad I'm an only child.” Colton said. “Nobody needs a dozen kids.”

“I think it's just 9 of us.” Ellie said.

“Way too many. My condolences to all of you.” Colton said.

“Team only child.” Pomeline said, raising her hand. Olive followed suit with Riko. Damian raised Jon's hand for him when he did not follow the social expectation.

“I am?” Jon asked.

“Though your cousin is often at your home, you are in fact an only child on paper.”

“Oh…”

A few of the friends laughed.

“Is there a reason you are delaying the video call?” Damian asked his sibling.

“He’s nervous.” Olive said. “We can be a bit overwhelming.”

“Speak for the rest of you. Me, Kyle, and Izzy are normal. Metropolis passes for normal.”

“Damian and Jon have met them over chat. But not on video. But I guess, I've never made friends outside of them before. Neither have they. I don't really know if this will go well. “ Danny played with his fingers.

“You don't know if you don't try.” Maps said. “And we are starting with the best of bonding activities.”

Danny gave her an awkward smile.

“If it goes bad just hang up and pretend it didn't happen.” Pomeline said with a shrug.

Ellie laughed at that. “Come on. Only thing you have to worry about is Sam and Vals territoriality. Tuck and Jazz are cool.”

“Hopefully they don't fight too much.” Danny said. “Well technus is giving the all clear. So i guess lets do this.” Danny opened their secure video chat line. moving the computer to catch as many as he could in the frame. The others squeeze in close together. It was answered right away.

“You’re late Danny.” Sam said first sharply.

“Is everything ok?” Jazz asked in quick succession with concern.

“Technical difficulties?” Danny lied poorly.

“Yeah called templates nerves.” Ellie said. Getting shot a glare from her brother.

“Sounds about fenton.” Val said with a smirk looking around at the teens in the room. “I think you under sold how many new friends you made.”

“Can't blame him, as it was mostly forced.” Colton pointed at Maps.

“Stop that.” Kyle said. Pomeline shoved his hand down.

“Damn it’s a crowd.” Tucker said, looking around. “Looks kind of like Sam’s place here too.”

“This is Pomeline’s house.” she raised her hand. “It’s kind of like Sam’s place.” Danny said. Sam took the elbow from Val and raised her hand.

“Manson. Toothpick empire.” Sam said. That had a few strange looks.

“Fritch, Father owns a corporate law firm. My mother is a criminal defense lawyer.”

Sam raised an impressed brow. “Criminal defense? Noble. Wish I could say the same of either of my parents.”

Val rolled her eyes and Tucker cringed. “Now Sam one upmanship isn’t an …”

“Thanks. I’ll pass that along.” Pomeline stated in return.

“Who are the rest of you?” Colton asked.

“I’m Jazz.” Jazz smiled and waved at the camera.”

“Wow, rude much? What’s your name?” Sam asked.

“Colton. Kettle.”

“Oooh, he’s got attitude, high opinion already for calling out Sam. I’m Val.”

“Please don’t fight. You will get technus riled up and he’s on watch duty. I’m Tuck the original bff there are no substitutes.”

“Don’t fight? When you are gonna spout such…”

“Guys this is not a good first impression!” Jazz shouted over all of them.

“Honest one though!” Tuck, Val, Sam, Danny and Ellie all said with laughs.

“I guess this is a common occurrence.” Olive said.

Kyle smiled with a bit of a chuckle when Damian verified. “That does seem to be a recurring pattern.”

“I’m Olive.”

“My name’s Mia, but everyone calls me Maps.”

“I’m her brother Kyle.”

“Riko.” she raised her hand and said it with enthusiasm. “Gunning for your title there Tuck. They are going to be my little bestie minions.”

“Sounds like you are gunning for Sam’s title actually.” Val corrected her. Sam took to sizing up this older girl.

“Izzy.”

“Duke.” he waved.

“Some of you guys seem… a little old for what is typical in friendship bonds for the age range Danny and Ellie fall in.” Jazz said with a bit of concern. “Not that it’s a problem. It’s just a-typical?”

“I’m just a year older than Ellie.” Jon said. “I’m Jon.”

“Most of us were friends with Duke first and that’s how we met Danny and Ellie.” Kyle said.

“Or Damian.” Olive clarified.

“So wait, that’s Damian wayne? Right?” Sam asked, pointing at Damian.

“Wait wayne?” Tuck said, shoving himself towards the screen to the girls yelling at him. “As in Wayne tech?” Duke cringed as Tucker’s eyes started to glow a bit. Luckily Val and Sam shoved him back a little to hard and down to the floor he went.

“Do not start fanboying foley or so help me.” Val said omnisciently. Jazz was smiling awkwardly, eyes shifting between her siblings and friends. Sam was glaring suspiciously between Damian and Danny.

“Though that is my family business. I do not have much hand in the projects or dealings of the company.” Damian said to try and quell Tucker.

“Jon and Damian.” Sam said again looking at Danny and Ellie. The Dannies shrugged. Jazz looked more nervously between everyone. Val’s attention on the tension lets Tucker get back in his seat. Duke tensed a bit. Sam raises a single eyebrow. “Wayne, Fruitloop?”

Tucker’s mouth dropped open in shock. “No, buddy, stop and …”

“Fruitloop.” Danny and Ellie said in unison no hesitation. “Totally.” Damian scowled at his siblings. Jazz looked more uncomfortable and failed to hide it. Val just started cackling.

“Noooooooooooo. You can’t… you could be mistaken.”

Sam cheered with a strong fist pump. Tuck barely grabbed his computer before it took a tumble. “Pay up Tuck-Tuck. 3 and 0.”

“I can’t believe you! I thought we were brothers. You betray me like this. There is one non rich fruitloop out there. I know it. I will not give up my dreams.”

“Sorry bro.”

“Can drop luthor in the cereal box too.” Ellie said.

Tucker scoffed. “That one is obvious. Doesn’t count. Jaime let me down on his boss. Who’s left?”

“Guys! I don’t think now is the right time for this… debate.” Jazz cut in. Duke mouthed thank you at her.

“You guys got weird hobbies.” Colton said, looking around the room.

“You have no idea.” Val said deadpan.

“Can we properly introduce Ellie to the hobbit now?” Maps piped up holding the case up. “It’s improper that the halflings have not been properly introduced to tolkien.” the four on the other side of the screen froze eerily at Maps words.

Jazz was the one to ask the question first. “Uh, Danny, did you share with the class?”

“No.”

“That makes it funnier though right?” Ellie asked, all smiles.

“It’s cause we are short.” Danny deadpanned.

Jazz let out a huge sigh of relief and hand to her chest. While the other three started laughing. Riko was laughing at their reaction.

“Danny, can I get in?”

“Yeah. I got the buffer setup. Hey! No! Technus we talked about this. No, go back to look out duty. You said you’d behave.” Danny said to the computer.

“Who’s technus?” Olive asked, looking at the computer.

“A friend.” “an ai program.” Danny and Tuck said at the Same time.

Jazz facepalmed and Damian tsked. While Sam and Val groaned.

“Tuck makes AI assistant programs for fun.” Sam clarified

Danny and Tuck started typing rapidly on the computer. “I will give you soup time. You promised to just do cyber security since we’ve never done a communication this long. Be good.”

“He’s really good at it and Danny talks to them like people to help their programming.” Val added.

“He understands they are not though.” Jazz jumped in, then cringed as all the parkers glared at her.

“No, she didn’t mean it like that. Technus, technus I will soup you so help me. Or Val will. Val?”

“I will be less nice than Danny about it to.” Val said. “You’ll get the freezer.” Danny and Tucker let out sighs of relief.

“Yeah, you’re all nuts like Maps. That was the plan here.” Colton said. “Makes total sense.”

“Maps right?” you got the movies in before i take over the system?” Tuck asked.

“Take over? Like hacking?” Izzy asked.

“Dude you wreck my dad’s system he will loose his shit.” Pomeline said sitting up more.

“The buffer Danny has keeps my system from accidentally wrecking your… basic tech.”

“Basic?” Pomeline said with a bit of offense. Colton laughed at her attitude. “Uh, no this is all the top of the line…”

“If me and Danny didn’t build it or modify it, it's basic.” Tuck waved her off.

“He’s not trying to put your shit down. He’s being pragmatic. Our stuff doesn’t mix well with mass produced technology. But together nothing bad is going to happen to your stuff. They have a lot of practice not blowing shit up.”

“Well I mean,” Sam started before her and Jazz finished. “They did blow up a lot of stuff first.”

“But now they don’t.” Jazz finished.

Colton leaned over close to Damian. “I think you brother has a thing for being bossed around.”

“I’m just going to connect Sam’s projector to your system so it plays on both. It’s not like hacking a government agency.” Tuck scoffed.

“Right now anyway.” Val said.

Jazz squeaked when Sam said. “We should do that this weekend. We haven’t fucked up the government in a week.”

“Danny, do they speak any other languages?” Duke asked.

“Esperanto.” Danny answered.

“Oh! I know that one too.” Ellie said excitedly.

“ni ne parolas pri sabotado de registaraj posedaĵoj en miksita kompanio. ĉesu. ĉu vi parolas fari tion ĉirkaŭ viaj Samklasanoj?” Damian asked. (we do not speak of sabotaging government holdings in mixed company. cease. do you speak of doing so around your classmates?)

“jes ili foje helpas.” Sam answered. (yes they help sometimes.)

“Should we learn esperanto?” Kyle asked.

“It’s not a requirement. We just have a friend who can only speak it. So we required it.” Sam said.

“But then the party could have its own language!” Maps exclaimed.

“I’m not doing that.” Colton stated.

“Probably for the best.” Olive said. “Damian is using it to be discreet.”

“Probably telling them not to talk about messing with the government.” Izzy said.

“If you aren’t down to fuck the system you aren’t really down with us. Danny isn’t really gonna be friends with people who aren’t.” Sam said.

“Um justified fucking with the system not unjustified.” Jazz corrected.

“I’m more curious about the open plotting? Like does no one rat you guys out?” Riko asked curiously.

“I think we should focus on the movies, guys.” Jon tried to redirect.

“Riko’s cool. We can have another lockdown chat later.” Ellie said to her friends with a shrug.

“Oh is she? Are you?” Jazz put a pointer finger up to either side of her head.

“Way to go on subtly sis. Always your strong point.” Danny said dripping with sarcasm. Duke face palmed.

“No, and if I was, I think it’d be best to say no too.” Riko laughed. Duke was happy Damian wasn’t the one with laser vision with the way he was glaring at the screen. Yeah. They needed to have a talk about procedures.

“Did you really just ask someone if they were a vigilante upon first meeting them?”

“Just cause we are in Gotham and we have 3 dozen of them doesn’t…”

“Probably closer to five dozen don’t under sell it.”

“Sorry, 5 dozen, still leaves the probability of you actually talking to one slim to none.”

“Yeah stereotype much? Your little town not have any?” Colton asked.

“We have one. Used to have two.” Val said with a lilt.

“Used to?” Kyle asked. “Did something happen?”

“Yeah he died.” Ellie said mockingly.

“Danielle!” Jazz shouted in an older sister's scold. But the rest of the parkers started laughing with Riko. Izzy couldn’t stop her smile. But hid it in Duke’s neck. He was biting his lips to contain his burning frustration.

“And I thought Gothamites were dark. Jesus. You guys make Pom and Olive seem like sunshine and rainbows.” Colton dodged a pillow thrown at him

“Tucker is the…” Jon was cut off by the screen lighting up and hum of the moving starting.

“Done and done my man. Cuddle up my long distance technologically challenged friends of my friend.”

“Don’t argue the technologically challenged part. He is beyond everyone present.” Sam said tiredly. “And he’s just jealous he has lost his cuddle partner.”

“Speaking of, Foley has been molesting Sam’s pillows, do you have a new victim Danny?” Val asked. Their side visibly rearranging.

“I’m not jealous! And I'm not molesting Sam’s pillows.”

“You’re right. Because the coffin is yours now.”

“Shouldn’t it be a sarcophagus?” Ellie asked.

“You shouldn’t joke about that Ellie.” Jazz scolded.

“On no. She should. He’s never living that down.” Val said.

“I apologized.” Tuck sighed deeply, rolling his whole head. “Maps?” Tuck asked.

She moved closer to the screen. “Yes?”

“You are running this show, what set do you want to run just the movie or all the trailers and stuff.” Tuck asked her.

“Oh,” she turned to the screen to double check. “Just the movie, no director's notes or anything.”

“You got it.” Tuck fired through everything and set his computer to the side for the camera to capture their cuddle pile in Sam’s basement. His eyes got a small glow as he grabbed his pillows and things and set up part of the screen to show Danny and Ellie and their friends next to the movie in the bottom corner. “Hey I just noticed, your new group is even split.”

“Hm yeah?” Danny answered.

“Is that odd?” Damian asked.

“Not really, I guess it was just always one side heavy here. With me and Danny and Sam. Then Jazz Val and Ellie joined us and we’ve been outnumbered since. And now here I am all alone. With three lovely ladies.” Tucker stretched out his arm like he was going to put it behind Val.

“Unless you want a broken arm…”

“Alright! Alright! Sheesh.”

“You wish you were the ladies man you claim to be.” Sam said. Switching places with Val. She shoved the coffin pillow between them. Jazz got up to grab the snack bowls.

Tuck scoffed. “Just because the women here are small minded and don’t appreciate the Foley experience.” Val gagged loudly. “It’s their loss. Danny has now introduced me to 5 new classy beautiful women. Who might just.”

“Two are lesbains. And together.” Colton quickly cut off this guy's straight boy delusions.

“Wait, I thought they were bi?” Kyle questioned looking over at Olive. “Right? Pom you had a boyfriend before too?”

“We don’t need a label.” Pom grumbled back.

“Undecided.” Colton clarified for Kyle who looked a little down when Olive just looked away from him.

“Also in a relationship.” Izzy said leaning into Duke where they cuddled in together.

“Maps is mentally taken.” Olive said.

“That’s a nice way of putting it i guess.” Jon said to her explanation.

“I’m not into guys younger than me.” Riko said.

“Is that a new record for being shot down?” Val asked teasingly. Jazz handed out popcorn bowls Sam had one with some type of asian seasoning and vegan butter. Val and her had salt and movie theater style butter. And Tuckers had bacon bits and maple drizzled on it.

“No. I think you and Paulina are still tied for the record.”

“your losses. I know I'm fine.” Tuck pouted into his bowl of popcorn.

“Have you tried guys?” Colton asked. He noticed Danny’s face turning red. He smirked a bit at that.

“Naw, guys are gross and smelly. I like pretty and soft. So you know girls.”

“And the three girls in the room with you can break you.” Val pointed out.

“I like that too. But you all you know bath. And use deodorant. Guys do not.”

“Sounds like a guys by you are the problem.” Riko said.

“Yeah, sounds gross.”

“Lot’s of pretty boys in Gotham, who aren’t stank.” Colton said under his breath but he did notice Danny was looking a bit down now. “Hey Danny, come over here. I got room and an extra blanket.”

“Are you sure? I’m kind of cold.”

“It’s got a heater in the blanket. Ellie you want in here too?” Colton asked.

“No. I want to hear what Maps has to say about the movie.” Ellie moved herself next to Maps. The other girl easily made room for her in her blanket. Jon and Damian snuggled in close to them to. Damian wanted to be close to his sister in case Maps noticed her issues.

It does not take long for Maps to be completely dismayed. Danny, Ellie, Tucker, and Riko are all out cold before they finish the first movie. She even thought Colton was, except he asked Damian to help remove his brother.

“It’s not really a shock. Asking them to sit still for so long is asking for a nap if you dont’ trigger their obsessions..” Sam said.

“Glad to see Danny hasn’t lost his cuddliness.” Jazz said.

“Great, wonderful. How do I get him off me? He’s like an octopus.”

“Crowbar.” Jazz Sam and Val all said.

“Can’t we just wake them up?” Olive asked.

“Yeah, but I mean if you surprise him… I hope your reflexes are faster than his.”

“He had to sleep through classes and stuff, so noise isn’t going to wake them. At Least not like normal noise.”

“What’s an abnormal noise?” Kyle asked.

“Impacts? Wall crumbling? Laser shots?” Jazz suggested

“Dramatic monologue.” Sam added.

“Want him moving fast lick his ear.” Val said.

“Ew!” several shouted.

“Why would you lick someone’s ear?” Maps asked, voice dripping in confused disgust.

“Maps, I hope you are a-sexual. For your brother's sake.” Colton quipped. Kyle threw a pillow at him, hitting his in the face and skewing his glasses

“Before or after you broke up did you discover this?” Sam asked. Jazz turned her head nervously towards the other two girls. Tucker was still out cold, himself wrapped around the coffin pillow.

“Oh this is gonna get ugly.” Duke said, hearing Sam’s tone and seeing Val’s mouth tick up at the edges in a smirk.

“Both.” Val said smug as shit. And that’s all it took for Sam to lunge at her and Jazz to squeal and try and get between the two girls.

“Do not fight! Oh my ancients, Sam you and Danny are broke up too!” Jazz squealed trying to pull the other girl off.

Pom cracked up laughing leaning towards the screen. “Guys stop fighting? Why are you even fighting?” Jon pleaded at the screen. Damian frowned, not seeing much skill in their duel. It was mostly just grappling. He did notice a shine to their eyes on occasion. Maps dug out her notebook to scribble more notes. She put down barbarian and a question mark next to Sam’s name.

The girls rolled over onto Tuck in their wrestling, startling the boy awake. He sat up sharply, eyes glowing. “what ? Who's attacking? We under attack? What?” Olive’s head tilted a bit and her brow furrowed in confusion. Almost like she was hearing something the others didn’t notice. Sam and Val’s fighting started to slow down. Much to Jazz’s visible appreciation.

Ellie and Danny jerked awake too. Duke getting up and moving woke up Riko. Kyle lunged towards Danny and Colton too and pulled Colton back as Danny jerked up in fight mode his fists coming up. Damian grabbed hold of Ellie as she got up. She came up floating trying to get to her feet faster. Duke was able to grab Danny’s hand and get in his line of sight.

“Easy, everyone’s fine.” Duke said to get Danny’s attention. Their siblings luckily didn’t take long to relax once they knew everyone was fine.

“Did they really wake up because their friend said attack?” Colton asked a bit incredulous.

“Why did you think you were under attack? I thought you guys were from a small town?” Olive asked, confused.

“Just because the coasts make the news doesn’t mean we don’t see issues.” Sam said.

“Yeah, we used to face an attack a day. Sometimes more. It’s just calmed down mostly lately.” Val scoffed, fixing her hair pulling popcorn out of it.

“Yeah it’s just now a weekly to monthly attack with the feds blowing shit up in between.” Sam added.

“I mean it’s not that often now is it?” Jazz asked.

“I’ve been keeping track still.” Tuck said with a yawn. “I can run averages. We had another drop after christmas. Johnny and kitty I think have settled some of the others who were showing up looking for you know. So it’s just the guys being kept out of the know. I mean the last one was boo-boo.”

“Wait you saw boo-boo? He's ok?” Ellie asked her and Danny perked up at the computer.

“Why do you sound concerned for what sounds like a rogue?” Colton asked, sitting more chill on the couch next to Kyle who had let him go once he was clear.

“Because it’s not his fault. It’s Plasmius’s fault.”

“Like always.” Danny scowled. “It’s not the bears fault he was abused and used.”

“Bear?” several of the kidsasked.

“You named a bear boo-boo?” Riko asked, barely containing her excitement.

“Is it like cujo?” Jon asked.

“What’s cujo?” Pom asked.

“Our dog.”

“Keep that mutt with you please.” Val grumbled.

“What do they steal? picnic baskets?” Kyle asked.

“Oh, like Yogi bear?” Maps asked. “The smaller one?” she remembered that from a movie they had watched when she was younger.

“I mean he chased me in the woods the first time I met him, but we didn’t have a picnic basket.” Danny said.

“He did crash our picnic date at the park that one time.” Sam pointed out.

“And yeah he’s like cujo.”

“You have lost naming privileges alongside Grayson.” Damian snipped. Duke made a mental note to hold that information for a later date distraction.

Riko fell over laughing holding her sides. “Boo-boo. Oh my god.” Riko fully lost it. Izzy just shook her head bemused at her friends' entertainment.

“You have a villain in your town who weaponizes animals?” Olive asked to clarify.

“Yeah. in the worst way.” Sam said coldly.

“He hasn’t been able to make more. But sometimes when he gets mad some of them go missing for a while. Boo-boo was missing for months before they had to split town.” Jazz said, biting her lip.

“We were worried he had ended him. I'm glad boo-boo’s ok.” Ellie said softly. She turned back to the screen. It was paused “Did we finish it already?”

“No, you fell asleep early.” Maps said.

“They can stay awake better with the fight scenes.” Jazz added.

“There’s fights?” Ellie asked excitedly.

“Yes we are almost to that part.” Maps said. “Where the party faces against many dangers in their journey.”

“Will eating keep you awake through the rest of the slow parts?” Pomeline asked.

“Probably?” Danny answered.

Olive got to her feet, followed by Pom “We’ll see if we can bring down the pizza’s with mr. louis.”

“Yeah, it ok if my dad comes down?” Pom asked.

“Your dad would want to hang with us?” Sam asked a bit incredulously.

“Yeah?” Pom shot back.

“I think only my dad would try to hang with us.” val said.

“No, my parents would too. And I think Mr. Fenton would now.”

“I don’t want to spend time with him now.” Jazz said bitterly. “He threw away that chance.”

“Ok well my dad might come down to help, but if its not cool he can go back up. Be right back.” Pom and Olive headed upstairs.

“And we are rearranging. I’m not getting the life choked out of me by your surprisingly strong noodle limbs Danny.” Colton said.

Danny’s face turned red. “Sorry.”

“We have room with us still.” jon said lifting their groups blanket.

“Room, for what?” pom asked coming down carring a pizza. So was olive and mr. fritch. They went to the little counter to set them down at.

“I refuse to be strangled to death in his sleep.” colton answered her.

“Danny can share with me and pom then.” olive said.

“Such a baby colton.” pomeline rolled her eyes.

“Wait till he stranglers both of you.” colton sassed back.

“We have a cheese pizza, a veggie pizza and a pepperoni pizza right now.” mr. fritch tried to cut through the argument. “I got a few more in the oven too.” he smiled at the kids.

“Thank you mr. fritch sir.” danny said noticing the man’s eyes on him. The others chorused their thank yous.

“You got the stream to work i see.” he glanced over at the computer to see three young ladies around his daughter’s age and a young man. “Hi there kids.” he waved.

“Hi sir. Thank you for letting us use your home and equipment for this wonderful opportunity to meet Danny and ellie’s new friends.” jazz spoke up waving. The other three just waved back. Danny moved closer to his computer while the others got up to make plates.

“It’s no problem. I hope you all have fun. I’m gonna go back upstairs and watch the other pizza’s I bring them down when they are done. There are chips too. To go with the chili and cheese if anyone wants nacho’s instead." After Pom's dad heads back upstairs the kids each collect a plate and settle back into new arrangements to start back up the movie from where they paused it. This time maps and everyone keeps the others awake with chatter. Maps even asking some questions to add note to her book to come up with their extended parties characters. Sam caught on to it and declared herself a cleric druid and no she was not explaining. Tuck as an artificer, and val as rune knight. Leaving the rest of their friends clueless staring at her. It took sam a little longer but labeled jazz as a psi warrior. Maps tried to exchange e-mail information and discord contact with sam but she refused.

“Sorry. It’s not safe. People here can’t find us suddenly having contact in a different state with new people. That puts danny and ellie in danger.” she said.

“Danny can get maps a phone though. That’s not traceable by anyone but me, danny and technus.” tucker said.

“I got four in the works right now.” Danny stated.

“Is there a place that’s actually like this or was?” Ellie asked about the movie.

“Here no. but there are a few close we can get to. And I mean maybe dora’s place counts?” tucker let her know.

“Maybe when they clear up we can try and check it out.” Sam said. “Unless Danny's still grounded from using it.”

“I’m not allowed without dad and Clocky permission. And Clocky is usually supervising.”

“Dora has dragons and castles yeah but it’s not like this.” ellie said pointing at the screen.

“You guys have a few renaissance fairies around you?” Kyle asked.

“Yeah. a couple. But we haven’t really gone.” Val said.

Izzy and Riko keep sharing looks with each other and giving Duke consoling pats as he seems stressed. “Maybe we could all go to the Maryland renfaire? And give Ellie that experience. It’s from late august to mid october. So we’d have plenty of time to plan. And maybe you guys can come here to visit them? Or the Pennsylvania one? It’s after maryland.”

“That would be awesome!” Ellie cheered.

“It would be. But the likelihood of that happening anytime soon is slim to none. If ever.” jazz said gently.

“Oh.” Ellie said. Her mood dropped a bit.

“It doesn’t have to be never. You never know. Maybe things will get better and change.” jon said more optimistically.

“They will improve so that you do not need to be so concerned.” Damian stated more pointedly.

“Right, I'd say when pigs fly. But that does happen around here on occasion. What’s something outrageous that actually won’t happen?” Val asked.

“Tucker gets a date.” Sam ribbed.

“Hey! No!” several of the kids laughed at his protest. “I think it should be sam eating a piece of meat.”

“Acceptable.” Danny and Sam answered.

“Or both.” Ellie said. Jazz laughed a little.

“Even if you can't come, maybe you can help us plan and pick out outfits?” Kyle suggested trying to bring back up the mood.

“I’d appreciate being involved that much if possible.” jazz said.

“Same. They have no idea about swords and sorcery. I’ll try and teach these guys something by then.” Sam said.

“Sometimes I forget you're a nerd as much as me and Danny, just in different ways.” tuck said. The group went back to watching their movies. And falling asleep after the first three.

Chapter Text

Alfred led Two-Face into the office where Bruce was sitting working on notes with Jason Blood. “Master Bruce, you have another visitor.”

“Harvey, what a surprise.” Bruce said kindly. He shot a look at Alfred to try and parse why he brought up the rogue while he had league company. Getting nothing but a raised brow from his father figure before he left him with his guests.

“Spare us.” Two Face said, slamming their briefcase on his desk. “We want everything you got on these anti-ecto acts now.” Two Face sneered at Blood. Alfred had told them Bruce had a guest over to help work on accommodations and needs of his children.

Harvey faced Bruce, “and why the hell didn't your lobbyist put an end to this when they first popped up? I don't know if the ladies even have all of it as diced up as it is. You better have a better consolidation as it is. They have the thing compiled with notations for which each piece is found in other bills. I want the laws with each section highlighted.”

Two Face whipped his head towards him. “You are lucky we didn’t torch our work. I lost the coin toss or we would have!” He put an accusing finger in Bruce’s face.

Jason Blood looked between the two before focusing on the rogue. “And what pray tell is your interest in these perverse laws? Or is it with the young king you wish to gain favor.”

“What king?” Two Face and Harvey both asked in confusion looking at Jason. “And who the hell are you?”

“Jason Blood. And it's hard to be…”

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. “Danny doesn't like people to know Jason. He doesn't want to be treated differently from his peers more than he already has.”

“I'd like to say if more knew, we wouldn't be in this mess as he would be given the respect and reverence he deserved, but John has already proven that's a false hope.” Blood defended poorly.

“King of what? The nut house?” Harvey asked.

Two Face shifted his side, “of these ecto entities they turned into? How's that happen?”

“His majesty is king of all that ever was or will be. As death calls all in time. Destiny led him to his title of conquest.”

Two Face turned towards Blood with a look of complete done with. “Where did you get this loon? Never seen ‘em in Arkham before.”

Harvey took the lead once more. “That sounds a bit pretentious even for you Bruce.”

“Mr. Blood is an esteemed expert of the occult. He is here offering his assistance. Some more information has come to light after some recent incidents.”

“Shit show in metropolis? He part of your little club?” Two Face asked.

Blood brought a hand up in shock. “This fiend knows of…”

“More of us know he's the bat than your hero club i’d wager.” Harvey goaded

“Fiend, fiend he calls us. Your second boy would be delighted by that.”

“Can he get us the paperwork? We need a hobby project to work on. You better be working on this Bruce.”

“There are complications, but my team is working on this. It's my top priority right now.” Bruce said earnestly.

“Kids didn't seem to think so. Waylon thought maybe it was just low priority." Harvey said heavily.

Two Face whipped his face forward “Don't sugar coat it. Croc didnt think your club gave a shit till you found out about your kids.”

“I did not find out about it until they came to Gotham and brought it to my attention. That is the complication. It is being addressed.” Bruce typed on His computer and flipped it around to show Harvey. “I can get this printed out for you. Or I can get you a thumb drive. You cannot be caught with these files by a group known as the ghost investigation ward. My children call them…”

“The guys in white.” Harvey cut him off.

“Underground knows them well. City’s been given them a warm welcome.” Two Face smirked at Bruce's frown.

“Both. Legal size. Everything your lobbyist dug up?”

“No, this is what we have from the Sirens, Question, and what Oracle and Red Robin dug up. The lobby group is most likely compromised by how Wonder Woman and Aquaman's investigation is going. We believe we have it narrowed down to 3 departments.”

“Investigations are for gathering evidence… weapons and tech are mighty strong pieces…spandex club willing to pay out for any?" Harvey questioned.

“You have acquired some of their weapons?”

“Sci-fi looking shit is hard to figure out what's a weapon and what's junk. Even harder to move when its unexpected.”

“We were intending to move it to your boy next time we needed to sweeten a deal.” Harvey rolled their coin across his finger. “Could flip on it if you're interested.”

“It would be me. Not the league.” Bruce corrected.

“You would consider such a deal?” Jason Blood asked Bruce. “Can you really trust this man?”

“Yes, if it’s a coin flip. Two face honors the coins call.” Bruce said without taking his eyes off the scarred face of his once best friend.

That side of his mouth pulled up in a facsimile of a smile. “Call it.” two-face said flipping the coin.

Catching it with his scared hand as Bruce called out, “heads. You sell to me.”

he smacked it to the back of the unscarred hand. “Why you instead of the league?” Harvey asked.

Bruce made eye contact. “To keep my kids safe.” Jason Blood stiffened a bit eyes glancing around.

Two face lifted his hand. “Looks like you lucked out again. Show up in that stupid matches malone get up. Gotta keep brucie squeaky clean still.” he did smile at Bruce’s frown there. Bruce didn’t know he knew that one. Damn should’ve kept that one close. “I’ll get back to you with the price and time and place.”

“We know you’re good for it. Won’t gouge you to bad.” Harvey chuckled. He pocketed their coin again. Then opened their brief case. “Get us the usb now. Bring the printed copies to our meeting. We expect you to actually highlight them.” he pulled out a folder. “Not like we got a paralegal anymore.”

“You, not one of your brats.” Two Face added. “Harvey will know.” he waved the folder infront of Bruce. “Maybe we should hold these till then.” Bruce didn’t say anything and just waited. “Could have humored us prick.” Two Face tossed it at him.

Bruce caught it and opened it to look over. “What is that?” Jason asked curiously looking over Bruce’s shoulder.

“Custody and co-parenting plan.” Bruce answered. “Thank you. I must admit, I don't believe we’ve ended with one had you not… intervened.”

Two Face scoffed. “Because you’re all stubborn pricks. The coin doesn’t give a shit about your egos.”

“Your philosophy does have it’s place. This was one of them.”

“Don’t try to butter us up.” Harvey scolded.

“Let him.” Two Face smirked a bit more flirtatiously. “That tongue does you get you further.”

Blood found himself in a bit of shock. A bit of color to his cheeks, he averted his gaze from the two. He cleared his throat a bit. “May I read it over? Just in case something stands out?”

“Changes need to be agreed upon with their mother, or mothers, whatever they got going on. Not our business.” Harvey waved his hand. “We’ll play family lawyer for this. A bit of nostalgia.”

“Thank you agian.” Bruce said. “You’re expertease on this case’s component is also very much appreciated.”

“Don’t thank us for that yet.” Two Face said. “A hobby isn’t high priority. But we are done here. Check your messages Malone.” they closed up their briefcase to leave.

“Always a pleasure to see you Bruce.” Harvey said.

“I prefer the other way we see him out of the suit.” Two Face said to Harvey as they left Bruce’s office.

Jason kept himself occupied with the documents till he was sure the man was well beyond earshot. “Now I know why you and John get along so splendidly.” he sniffed, ignoring Bruce’s unimpressed look with his swipe.

“Can we get back to these ancient artifacts and the imprisonment of the one my kids call nocturne and you call dream?”

Chapter Text

Stan found himself stumbling home from the bar in brideshead a little late, but still decided to swing by and check on some of his girls. Just before he reached that street corner he crossed in front of a darkened alley. Normally a hardened gothamite would be more alert when doing so. But Stan’s attention was drawn towards black cat hissing as it darted in front of him and across the street.

“Mangy fucking cat.” He grumbled to himself, too distracted to notice the giant hammer swinging at his head, knocking him out and a few feet away from where he started.

Waylon and Grundy pulled up from around the corner in their buggy with Selina driving it. Croc hopped out to pick up the man and haphazardly tossed him in the floor at Grundy's feet. “Could have held back a little. What if it takes too long for him to come to now, Harley?”

She shrugged, swinging her hammer to her shoulder and climbing in with Croc. “Maybe he should thought of that before he messed with our kids”

Grundy vocalized his agreement. Once everyone was in the car Selina took off towards the alley.

**********************

“Wake up you pissant.” Jason pulled back the smelling salt the moment Stan started showing signs of stirring. Stan startled as he realized he was sat before the notorious red Hood. He tried to Stand up only to find himself bound by vines to a chair. He paled considerably. “You done? Where, how, and why did you approach Selina’s kids?” The vines tightened.

“Who said I did?” Stan pitched back. He was answered by Harley raining polaroids down on him. With a yipee. He scowled.

“Wanna tell me how they got your old john records then? Honesty is the best policy. Lying to me just makes me add to the bones i'm going break. You appease my curiosity, when I'm done, we don't let a few of these bastards know you've been keeping and selling blackmail material. Let's not even start with the risk you put your girls in.” Red Hood wagged a finger at Selina's old pimp.

“Why you making out to be a bad guy huh? Those were insurance policies. Keeps the clients honest. And I was just trying to make sure the kids got what was owed. She was my best girl. Made sure she got the best clients. Kids entitled to daddy's money. And what about fathers rights huh? Deserve to know he's got spawn walking around out here.” Stan spun fast to paint himself a nice picture of good intentions.

“Right, right. Fathers rights…" Red Hood tipped his head to the side. “How'd you approach the kids?”

“Ladies, ya know how they are, can't keep their traps shut.” He grunted as the vines tightened. “See the kids talking to my girls at the bus stop. Ask some questions, cute kids ya know.” His eyes darted to Hood’s hand twitching near his holstered gun. “Uniform gave me a schedule. Not like they change their route home much. Find out they’re from one of my girls during her prime, well the gentleman in me just had to reach out with some assistance. Got a soft spot in my heart for Selina.”

“Real soft spot huh? Was your plan to blackmail Selina or the baby daddy? Ransom the kids to rich daddy?”

“Why do you care? Just cause she works for ya you making her business yours? Or you the daddy? Do I got a picture of the infamous Red Hood under that tin can?”

“You really are a fool Stan.” Selina spoke up from behind him. Ivy tightened the vines again. “You think after what you did to my sister I'd brush off you going anywhere near my children?”

“How's the sister? Maybe you should keep a closer eye on your crotch goblins so they don't end up the same cause of you.” Stan was leaned back craning his head to try and get a glimpse of her. He just caught the movement in front of him before the crowbar came down hard on his knee with a crack. He screamed.

“You stay out of my turf. So maybe, you don't know my rules.” Hood lifted Stan's chin with the end of the crowbar as he stood in front of him. “Can you guess what my number one rule is?”

“Oohh, oohh can I tell him?” Harley raised her hand like a school child.

“Go ahead.” He spread his hands to give her the floor.

“You don't mess with the kids of Crime Alley.”

“That's right. Don't fuck with them, don't get them mixed up in nothing dangerous, drugs, guns or sex work none of it. Or…”

“You get fed to Luci.” Pamela said. “My baby's been a bit hungry since we've had the littles.”

“I was gonna say go away, but that works.” Hood shrugged. “The siren’s and their brats are not only firmly in my turf. They are my people. And maybe the others around here don't protect their people. But I do.”

“No, wait, wait. You're a businessman, we can talk, I got girls. I got lots of girls. Maybe I can give you some of ‘em and we forget this ever happened? You don't want to do this for her.” Stan damn near spit the last lord out.

“See Stan, that was always your first mistake. You don't own any of us. Your ego, refusing to let me and Holly go, that's what keeps getting you into these messes. I was nice and let you limp away the first two times.”

“And the rest of us don't have her hang ups. Too bad for you.”

“Good for Luci though.” Harley smiled down at him.

“We got two options: quick, or slow and painful, because I very much want to do this for her, for her kids, and all the other girls you beat, threatened and forced.”

“I took them in! I got them, work! And not just sleaze! They had warm beds and meals thanks to me! This bitch would be nothing if not for me! How you think she even first cased joints huh? She's nothing without me! I'm owed my dues! My lost money!” Stan snapped, struggling harder.

“You’re losing something alright.” Harley sing songed.

Hood was looking past Stan over his head though. “Go home. We got this from here.”

“No, he’s my past, my problem that keeps crawling back out of the sewers to bite me, I can…”

“And that's why you need to leave. Go home. We got this handled.”

“I agree with Hood darling.” Ivy said.

“No, I…”

“Go home mom.” Hood said. Stan froze staring up wide eyed at the crime lord in front of him before it morphed to fury. Selinas attention also fell completely on Jason. “ Get yourself calm and collected before the kids come home. Don't want them knowing you had a bad day. He's not hurting anyone again.” Jason pressed the crowbar to Stan's lips when he tried to open his mouth.

“Fine. But I expect you home for after patrol snacks tonight.” Selina huffed but ended in a small smile. “ son.”

“Deal.” he pressed the weapon harder into Stan's mouth till she was gone. “Alright, Luci it is. The big greenhouse I hope.”

“Yeah, not far from here. We didn't want her getting grouchy and grabbing any neighbors by mistake.” Harley said. Jason nodded and pulled out his gun.

“I Shoulda just sold the brats off to Black Mask!” Stan shouted over their conversation. “He’s been hard up over that bitch for so long. Your pissing match to defend that bitch! Bet coulda made more than I thought!”

Jason holstered his gun. “You know what, Luci deserves some enrichment. And he doesn't deserve the mercy of a bullet in the head. Gag him and lets go.” Jason went to get the plain inclosed panel van

“Dontcha love when they’re dummies ives.” She dug around a pile of junk till she came up with a dirty rag. Ignore Stan's derogatory name calling she shoved in his mouth uncaring of the stains on it. Ivy wrapped the vines around his head to hold them in place.

Ivy hummed in agreement, Jason pulled the van up close. He hopped out and opened the back to toss him in. “Hood, I know you've had a rough week, sweetheart. But we arent your henchwomen.”

He looked at her while throwing him in the back. “I know that… my bad. didn't mean it like that.”

“I know, but you need to mind your tone.” Ivy scolded.

“Not like he's gonna blab to anyone to spread rumors.” Harley shrugged. “I'm driving.” She jumped and slid over the Hood to get to the door before Jason. Climbing threw the window to ensure victory.

“On the floor in the middle Hood.” Ivy said, holding the door open for him.

“Come on, I barely fit.”

“Should have moved faster then.” Pamela said and used her open hand to shoo him to his spot. His shoulders slouched as he climbed in the van and squeezed into his spot. Jason huffed when Pam got in and he was left with gentle head pats. Jason huffed like he was annoyed, but thankfully as Harley drove them to their hidden greenhouse, really Harley called it the hot box. It was in an abandoned industrial building’s basement. Supported by lights and a bypassed storm drain runoff, Ivy felt his emotional anger started to calm a bit. He plays it off like he doesn't like the show of support, but with the tactile empathy they know it’s not the case now. Doesn’t mean they didn’t tease him a bit.

Once they arrived Harley dragged Stan out of the back of the van giving Hood time to stretch once he was out. Ivy went straight for her plants. Making sure they knew who was friends and who was food. Hood took the load off her dragging him by his bound arm down the stairs. Once they were at the bottom of the stairs Ivy’s plant grabbed the ankles of their struggling food pulling it towards a giant plant at the far side closest to the open water pipe and largest light panel. Harley skipped along side Stan as he moved across the floor struggling trying to free himself. Jason walked at a steady pace besides. “Give you a chance to not be eaten alive. Better hope I believe whatever you say. Did you tell black mask or his goons anything about the kids?” he reached down and ripped off the tape and let Stan spit out the rag.

“Go fuck yourself! You son of a bitch! You and this nut job bitches!” Stan screamed, struggling still against the vines and bindings.

“Wrong answer.” Jason said Harley kicked his hard enough to move him forward across the floor closer to his demise. “Don’t forget I need time to draw my gun, take the safety off. Luci could be chewing on you a bit before i get to it.”

“Not helping you. Hope that nut job get his hands on those little,” he was cut off with his own scream when Jason stomped on his already damaged and broken knee again.

“Say some shit like that again and the option of shooting comes off the table. And I'm gonna tenderize ya and add some salt for Luci.” Harley snapped at the screaming man.

“Tick tock fuck, gonna give me answers?” Luci came into view with Ivy next to her. “Bigger than I thought she’d be…”

“Gotham rats are pretty big.” Harley shrugged. “Look at this one. Ugly too.”

“Your crazy! All of you! Be reasonable! Let me go, won't bother ‘em again!”

“Ship sailed, Stan. Cant trust ya. Quick or slow, that's all the options you got left.”

“Go to hell!”

“Been there done that,you're on the escalator now.”

“Acid burns as well as fire.” Ivy said smugly.

“How's your little shop of horrors gonna go?”

Luci got the first bite into his leg, the spines along her mouth piercing deep as Stan screamed. The acid working through the punctures to burn the wound. As the vines pulled him more in, Luci would release the bite to pull her food deeper and clamp down again to adjust. “It's been a while since she had something this big. She might need time to stretch the inner stem to the bell.” Ivy said plainly.

“No, no, you nut jobs! I won’t do it again! You can't do this! Don't do this to me! Stan said between screams of agony as the acid burned the open wounds and jostled his injuries. “Cant let me go like this! You can't, do something! Something!”

“What did you tell Mask about the kids?” is all Jason said his modulator negated the tone completely.

Stan screamed some more. Before finally between screams and snot answered. “Tattoo! I asked him to see if I could pay off some debt with info about the family! That's it! Help me please! I won't do it! Don't let me die like this please!”

Jason drew his gun and shot Stan the pimp in the head silencing him. “You're right Stan you won't.” Luci got to enjoy the rest of her meal quietly. Jason turned heel to head back to the van. That's where Harley and Ivy joined him after making sure Luci got her food down.

“Whacha think there red can?” Harley asked, sitting on the floor in his previous seat.

“We need to come up with a varied bus route schedule for the kids. And somehow figure out how to teach them to evaluate strangers for talking to. Current methods are not good enough.”

“Selina doesn't want them to be as paranoid as a bat.” Ivy reminded him.

“I get that, B is too extreme, but this everyone is a potential friend till shown otherwise is not working.” Jason sighed with his head resting on the wheel. “There is something in the middle of these two ideas. We just need to figure out what it is and how to get there “

“Boomer can pick up the kids after school till he goes home. Gives ya time on that. And mixes things up. He’d love the quality time anyway.” Harley chimed in to help take some of the load off.

“And we made a list of costumed villains the kids know to stay away from for safety. We just need to add other threats in the city like Stan. He wasn't really on the radar, but if he’s was catching interest maybe the kids should be on notice of others. Like their aunt. And whatever roster you have of all of Mask’s men.”

“Yeah. I'll see if one of the birds can get me an extended roster if need be.”

“What about the subway? Is there one that runs this way?”

“We got one that runs east to west, but it goes right through Mask’s turf. It’s not an option.”

“We’ll brainstorm later. How ya feeling?”

“Mixed, I'll be fine. Got one less threat to worry about.” Jason said, starting up the van to drive them back.

“You got the threat waiting ya at home of an emotional momma cat who’s gonna want to cuddle her newest admitted kitten.” Harley teased.

“You did well to get her attention though.” Ivy teased also.

A deep sigh crackled in his modulator. “Yeah, well, the step moms always treated me better than any other parents. And you know cared about me.” Harley picked up a pleasant buzz of playfulness and spite. “Besides, it'll piss of B and make the kids happy.”

The ladies laughed with him as they went to drop off the van to get cleaned up and head home. “Don’t worry you’re our boy now too.” ivy bloomed lavender across the inside of the car.

Chapter Text

“Hey replacement i need…” Jason caught the bo staff Tim swung at him with his forearm after taking the smart, he probably should have phased it but whatever.

“What the fuck! Hood!” Tim snapped at him pulling back his bo.

“You're jumpy.” Hood snarked back.

“You used your powers to sneak up on me! What did you expect?!” Tim seethed.

Hood just shrugged. “Robin isn’t jumpy. The kittens will get you worse if you don’t start paying attention.”

“I’m pretty sure robin senses them because of the liminality.” Red Robin said. “Now what did you want? Or are you just harassing me?”

“I need something for the kids. And I need you to turn off your coms. I don’t want the peanut gallery blowing up our ears.” Jason said.

Tim locked his coms in answer. Luckily they had been off already or that would be a struggle. Oracle would force it open if he was needed. “Alright.” Tim took a step back when Hood moved closer to him.

“Calm your tits. I want to keep our voices down.” Hood siad moving in close to him. “Look, I need you to call the Kents for me. And ask them for help on how to do risk assessment on strangers. And then someone makes that into a lesson plan for the brats.”

“I… you what?” Tim said just confused with that request. “Why? We have power points on risk assessment and instant analysis techniques. B made super detailed ones for the league like right after they formed.”

“I don’t want b’s, i don’t want any that any of us make because they will be tainted by his paranoid teachings. That’s not what we want the kids to learn. They need a healthy normal assessment method. The only one I can think of any of us knows is the Kents.” Jason said with a sigh that warbled his voice modulator to sound a bit like darth vader. Getting Tim to cringe.

“The Kents aren't heroes though?” Tim pointed out.

“That’s the point numbnuts.” Hood snipped at him. “They are arguably the most normal people we know, alien child aside. Love gramps, but he’s kind of part of the reason b’s the way he is. And we want the kids to have a healthier outlook. But their method of currently assuming no one is dangerous or bad till they show otherwise isn’t working.”

“No, really? We don’t live in the magic world of my little pony and care bears?” Tim fanned his hands from center like a rainbow voice dripping as much sarcasm as he could muster. “Friendship is magic.” he said in a high pitched voice. He did tense a bit when Jason stood up taller and leaned over him a bit.

“I’m gonna make sure Ellie knows, you know and love my little pony. Little brony brother. Prepare yourself.” Tim glared at him unimpressed. “But yes. That’s how they are operating socially and it’s not working.” Jason paused head tilting a bit as he relaxed his stance back and got out of Tim’s space. “There was an incident recently. Kind of like Hatter.”

“I thought you guys went over rogues they can not approach like that with them. Which sorry should be all of them.” Tim snapped.

“We did. And we have friends who are rogues, and even b someTimes give them some leniency. Gives too much to ones who shouldn’t in my opinion. But not the point. It wasn’t a rogue. It was a regular two-bit trash. But one who couldn’t let go. From Cat’s past. He’s not a problem any more. But the kid can’t remember the faces from a few pictures of every regular thug who might have a grudge against us. That’s not a reasonable expectation for them.” Jason said. “We need another method.”

“So how’d this happen exactly?” Tim asked.

“The kids talk to hookers. They like the open and relaxed way they are. Most don’t judge the kds either. They ran into doing that in another part of town, Cat’s old pimp who holds a grudge. He might have sold some information to Mask’s people. Not sure. We’re working on a varied travel pattern for them after school. We don't want to discourage them from talking with the street walkers. If that’s what they want. But some people just aren’t safe for them to approach. The pimp is the one who gave the kids pictures first on probable daddies, before they raided your creepy stalker stash. You two had that in common it seems.” Jason squeezed his fist. “They are part of the community in the slums, but they aren’t street kids. And they aren’t city brats. They come from the arguably safer sticks and small towns. They need some direction. They have the same safety net as supes. I just think the Kents would be the best at giving that direction.”

Tim thought about it for a minute before nodding in agreement with Jason’s assessment with a nod. “Ok, I see your point. But I don't have to be the middleman. I can talk to them, and so can Kon, and I'm sure they’d let us pass along their number to you and the ladies. Hell even you know supes' wife would too. They’d love to have more grandkids to dote over.”

“That’s… I can't. I need you to do it.”

“Why?” Tim asked, confused. He got the feeling Jason was glaring at him through the helmet.

“Really? Do I seem like someone, the nice, normal, kind Kents want to talk to or associate with? You forget how much blood I have on my hands? Including yours?”

“Hood… you know you’re still one of their grandkids too right? All of us are.”

“I’m not.” Jason shook his head.

“They wouldn’t agree with you.” Tim said matter of factly. “But if you are nervous about it. I’ll talk to them first and play middle man till they demand your number.” Tim smiled smugly at Jason. “Is that why you guys have been in lock down?”

“No,” Jason shook his head. “ don’t ask about my lock down. Or I will ask the kids to give you my nightmares. And that’s plausible. So don't test me.” he shoved a finger in Tim’s face before dropping it and rubbing the back of his neck. “The kids? Yeah. They have a temporary sitter in town. Friend of Harleys. Best to keep him separate from the rest of ya.”

“Yeah another rogue?” Tim teased.

“Yeah, out of towner too. Don’t want a flash rogue running around gotham. He’d get in more trouble than the kids.” Jason snorted. Making a static noise from his helmet.

Tim tried not to stiffen at that. He didn’t want Jason to see his concern. But Jason must be getting better at his empath powers. “What?” Jason asked seriously.

“Who? Are they with them now?” Tim asked carefully, neutral with his tone.

Jason looked at him carefully. “Why? Who do you not want it to be?”

“Tell me it’s not captain boomerang!” Tim tried not to snap. But didn’t succeed as well. But he caught Jason stiffening slightly. Tim turned and made a run towards the alley grappling to the next rooftop, only to land on a semi formed Jason the two going down as they grappled with each other and Jason trying to solidify himself not in or on Tim. “Let me go! I can’t believe you! Did you leave them alone with him?!” Tim fought Jason viciously to get control and back on his feet.

“Stop! Stop! Red calm the fuck down! He’s not gonna hurt them. He’s a murderous prick but he doesn’t hurt kids. And he and Harley are tight. They aren’t even in the field. They are in the shop. They are fine.” Jason tried to grapple with Tim, maybe cheating a bit using his powers to not take as many blows.

“He murdered my dad! You fucking asshole! He… I won't let him around my siblings! He’s not taking someone else from…” Tim was thrown off a bit as Jason turned to smoke that wrapped around him holding him tightly somehow. Jason slowly reformed, holding Tim tightly to his chest. In an unbearable hug.

“I’m sorry Timmers. I didn’t know. I need you to calm down though. You go charging in on the kids. You’re going to freak them out. They are safe. You calm down, we can call them up, and i won’t leave the kids alone with him again. He’s gone in a few days.”

“That doesn’t make it ok!” Tim screamed.

“It don’t. You’re right. That’s not my call. Not my place. You want to confront the guy? I’ll set that up. You get to decide what makes you better about that.” Jason said. “Nothing is gonna make it ok. Nothing will make it better. But you can have your piece of him. But the kids are ok.” Jason held Tim till he stopped fighting and slowly stepped back. “I’m sorry. For a lot of things.” Jason said softly. Tim turned away clenching his fists at his side trying to calm down himself.

“How many days do i have?” Tim asked.

“3.” Jason answered. “Nobody has to know.”

Tim scoffed. “I’m not gonna kill him. I just… I want…”

“Revenge?”

“No.” Tim said sharply, glaring at Jason. ‘I want answers! I want him to answer!”

“And to beat his ass a bit.” Jason said with a little teasing lilt. Tim huffed and he begrudgingly gave a nod. Jason scuffed Tim’s head and ruffled his hair. “Give me a Time and place. I’ll make sure we’re there. And I'll stand back. Your show. Till then stay out of the alley.”

“Can I confront him on your turf?” Tim asked.

“Sure. keeps the old man out of your business too.” Tim gave Jason a nod and headed back out into the Gotham night.

Chapter Text

“This is your plan.” Jason asked Tim who he met at the safehouse. Jason was suited up as Red Hood. Tim was in a Hoodie and jeans.

“You said, it was my call. I can’t really confront him as you know without giving out my identity. If he asks, I was gonna say I paid you for the opportunity.” Tim said a bit sharply.

Jason groaned a bit. “Might not have to worry about why I'd do this for you being questioned.” Jason ignored Tim’s confused gaze. “You want me to stick around? Not exactly a kid anymore, but in civilian, I don't think he’ll attack you.”

“Didn’t save my dad.” Tim said bitterly.

“No. But he knows I don't play with my family.” Jason said, turning towards the doorway.

“Family? Hood what?” Tim said, a bit shocked. More so when Jason put a hand over Tim’s mouth.

“What cha need with me here Hood? Kids said you got a stash of art projects around here. You in a sharing mood?” Boomer teased walking in. “oh what’s this? Another kid?”

“Yeah.” Hood said. Looking back at Tim while dropping his hand. “Yeah he is.” Tim nodded his head turning back to glare at Boomer through his Hood, though it obscured some of his face.

“I have some questions I'd like answered.” Tim said squaring up.

“Well I ain't no scholar, you sure you got the right mate?” Boomer said casually but he was only trying to show he was easy going with the situation. He was alert and open with his body language but Tim thinks his hand was hovering above one of his weapons.

“Wouldn’t accuse you of it. But we both know you are smarter than you play at.” Tim said bitterly.

“Ah, you buttering me up kid?” Boomer beamed.

“No, last Time you were in Gotham, you killed a man.” Tim snapped at him.

“What no, last Time i was in Gotham, I was trying to kill Riddler for the feds.” Boomer corrected confused. “But I didn't.” Boomer pointed at Hood. “He can attest, we played poker not too long ago. I lost my ass.”

“5 years ago, you were in Gotham and killed my father!” Tim stepped forward as he yelled at the man.

Boomer held up his hands and backed away from Tim. “Whoa kid, just calm down. I got no problems with you. Drake’s boy right?” Tim threw back his Hood to give the man a murderous glare. “Drake’s boy.” Boomer repeated with a nod, before groaning and turning to Hood. “Fucking hell mate. Wayne adopted Drake's boy too, didn't he?” Tim turned his murderous glare on Jason.

“Yeah he did.” Jason answered, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Look kid, it wasn’t personal. It was a job. One I regret taking.” Boomer said Tim.

“Because you ended up dead!?” Tim snapped again, raising his fists.

“I mean yeah, that and the setup. Me and your old man both got set up. I’m sorry i got to come back and your old man didn’t. That’s not fair. Can’t say much of life is. My motto is to just roll with what life throws at ya. Even a couple bullets. Ya pa, he got a few good ones on me. Still got the scars and everything. This is awkward. Meeting one of my…. VicTims, as it were. Coulda said something about me having taken out your brother's old man cripes mate.” Boomer said to Hood, throwing up his arms.

“I didn’t know till recently ok!” Hood snipped back.

Tim was almost speechless. His mouth hung up in shock for a moment before he snapped. “How the fuck do you know that?! Did you tell him? Are you fucking insane?!” He turned on Hood.

“Look, it wasn't your brother's fault. It just came out in a bit of trauma, he’s one of Wayne's many collectibles.”

“Shut the fuck up Boomer! Or I swear!” Jason’s eyes lit green and he dropped his fist to his sides but slightly raised.

“I was just saying! Not like I was gonna blab about your trauma mate. Kid,”

“My name is Tim Drake-Wayne!” Tim yelled over Captain Boomerang. “Not fucking kid!”

“Easy baby drake, don’t mean nothing by that, you both gotta know i’m not about to stand by and let ya try to kill me right?” Captain Boomerang said. “It’d make your littlest ones sad too. Danny and Ellie like me.” he pointed at his chest with both hands.

“I want you away from them. Far, far away from them.” Tim stomped forward again.

“Come on Hood a little help here.” Boomer asked, backing up.

“No. This is between you two.” Hood said. “I told him you didn’t hurt the kids.”

“Right, I don't hurt kids. I’m not a threat to them. It’s not fair to deny them their old pal Boomer.” he argued his case. “I don’t want to hurt you either but you're pushing my buttons. I want to help the little ankle biters too. I’m a great asset. What do I gotta do for us to make friends eh?”

“You can’t do anything! You can’t bring my dad back! And I don't want you helping Danny and Ellie. I want you away from them. And to never go near them again.”

“‘What about a promise… contract even not to take any hit jobs on wayne eh? A little security?” Boomer adjusted as he skedaddle around the room trying to keep space between him and the angry young adult. Who was Hood’s brother. Cripes he was gonna get it from Hood if he attacked the kid he just knew it. But he did not like running away for no reason. “Or you for that matter? Added security I know the littles are very protective and would probably mangle me. Same with Hood. Harls too. Love the sheila. Besties, but I make those kids upset. I know she’s gonna knock me around a bit and shrug if she breaks my neck. Plus, I'm leaving soon. Won’t be near the kids anyway, unless you know they gotta get outta dodge with dogs on their tails.”

“They don’t need your help!” Tim moved to block Boomer from moving away this Time.

“Kid, money gets ya far, it doesn’t always protect ya. I think you know that better than most.” Boomer said pointedly. “I got contacts you could only dream of. If the kids gotta move, they gotta move. Your money, daddy's money even, can’t protect them. I’m offering my services. As a friend. I’m willing to offer you something besides my head to appease your anger too.”

“Well that was stupid.” Jason let Boomer know. He caught Tim stopping and actually contemplating the offer. “You taking him up on it Timmers?”

“Timmers, ain’t that a fun little sibling nickname.” Boomer teased.

“What about a beating?” Tim asked. Jason snorted, his helmet projected it as a burst of static. “Like you said, I'm angry. I’m furious, you willing to let me take that out on you?” Tim contained his glee and made sure to project anger with his face and body language as Boomer eyes him up and makes a quick judgment based on his appearance. His small stature and size. Looking dwarfed in his baggy clothes.

He held back the smirk when Boomer shrugged. “Sure, drake junior. We can settle this like men. No weapons, just fist. I’ll even give you the first couple of good hits, and we can scrap till you feel better or tucker out.” he turned to Hood. “Promise not to hurt the tike too bad.”

Hood tensed up a bit, but he knew it was from controlling himself from laughing. He double checked his camera was recording. “That sound ok, Timmers?”

“After you leave Gotham, and you do not come back around my siblings unless the world is burning. And I better get told before his ugly mug is here!” he yelled the last part at Jason.

“Ugly?! I’m not ugly.” Boomer put an offended hand to his chest. “Average. I’ll give ya. Medicore is my maiden name.” Tim just looked at him like he’s an idiot. Which Jason wouldn’t argue. “Let me set this aside, and we have a go. Just you watch afterwards we’ll be best mates after. That’s how it works for the glowy ones.” Jason’s shoulders jerked up in what seemed like a shrug. But he just lost some of his tight control holding back his laughter. Boomer shrugged off his coat with it full of weapons and his belt. Dropping them on the floor in the corner and out of the way. Then he condescendingly squatted down with his hands on his knees to bring himself lower to Tim’s height. Jason’s shoulders bounced as he laughed to himself. With the forethought to turn off his mike. Oh this was going to be great. He just knew this was going to be rewatch material. He could taste Tim’s anger and frustration just growing with every word Boomer uttered.

“Alright ya rascal.” Captain Boomerang said to Tim. “Go ahead. Give me a few of ya best swings. Get some kind of a kisser here at least. Rest of the trip been dry. I’ll go easy on when I get tired of taking it.” Boomer pointed right at his chin with a big smile.

“Right in the kisser right. You got it.” Tim said, holding up his fists in the manner of a school yard fight. He quickly planted his feet and swung right at the side of his target's head, with all his training and skill. He heard the crunch as Captain Boomerang went down hard on the ground of the apartment. Jason bent over laughing to himself. Tim stepped over the man to grab him by the collar to hit him again only to find him out cold. He shook him to see if he’d come back up swinging and dropped him when he didn’t.

“Holy fuck! You knocked him out in one hit.” Jason laughed, turning back on his mic. “Oh boy is Harley gonna get a kick out of this! Good hit Timmers. Roy. Roy is gonna be ecstatic. Didn’t know you had it in you.”

“Yeah, wish i hadn’t.” Tim said, smearing the blood from his knuckles on his hoodie and heading for the door. “Get him the fuck out of here. And keep him away from our siblings.” Tim stormed out to hit the streets and some other criminals once he was suited up.

Chapter Text

“Hey there kiddo, you bring me some more sprouts to train up.” Ted said dusting off his hands as he walked up to Jason with a couple kids in tow. The gym was closed to regular patrons currently. But the nightlife knew when he had other hours. By the looks of their size, they could be more street kids. Jason tended to bring him street kids who he thought could use an outlet. Usually caught doing unscrupulous things to take care of loved ones. Or who got bailed out of a tight spot enough for him to remember them to check on. These two could easily be Wayne bait too. But Jason of all people wasn't gonna bring a new bird to train.

Jason clapped his hand into teds and pulled the man forward into a hug. “Naw your place wouldn't survive these two. Sorry haven't been in a while.”

“Your busy son. Know how it is.” Ted released him to look at the kids just behind him. “And if you're implying I can't handle a couple of meta kids, I'm gonna have to take offense.”

“We aren't metas.” Danny said, scrutinizing the man's face.

“Stop that. Yes we are. Quit repeating their bullshit.” Jason scolded. “And not saying you can’t, but accidents happen. Till they aint breaking silverware and writing utensils for a few months in a row, they aren't going against normal humans.”

“With fists.” Danny clarified. Ellie was digging in her arm.

“Drills are a thing you know.” Ted chuckled a bit. “Selina’s kids?” Ted addressed Danny and Ellie holding out a well calloused large hand. “Ted grant. I taught your mom to fight. This scamp too.”

“Danny.” He shook Ted's hand. Stepping to be beside Jason to do so.

“I'm Ellie! Are you our dad?” She proudly held up a photograph of Ted and Selina in a precarious position in that very gym. Ted turned a bit and choked on his spit into a coughing fit.

Jason snatched the photo from her. “What did i tell you about ambushing people with that? And i thought we took all of these? I will shake you if you dont hand them over when we get home.” He looked tiredly at ted. “Don't worry, you aint their daddy.”

Ted got himself under control and gave a hearty laugh. But he did lean down a bit towards the kids. “This old wildcat wouldn’t say no if your momma was looking for you a daddy.” Danny and Ellie perked up immediately full of wide smiles and bright eyes.

“Oh come on! Ew.” Jason pushed him back. Ted enjoyed a hearty belly laugh even but a hand to his mild gut. “We get enough of that at the house with her girlfriends. And they are sensible enough to not use the kids to flirt with Selina. Which i can’t believe i’m saying about Harley. Look what you are doing to me.” Ted just gave him a one arm shrug. “And Selina? Really?”

“Watch your mouth son. I’m old not senile, all my bits and bobs work just fine. Especially the eyes..” he smiled mischeviously at Jason. “I sure ain’t gonna pass up a chance to gas that dilly.”

Jason made a gagging face. Tongue out and head extension included. ‘I dont’ know what’s worse the mental trauma from the image or your outdaTed slang.”

“Dilly like dilly bar ice cream?” Danny asked confused.

“Dairy queen! Can we get ice cream?” Ellie asked more excitedly.

Ted side talked to Jason. “Kids, easily redirecTed huh?”

“Yeah.”Jason rubbed his head.

“Take after their mother i suppose then.” he turned his attention back fully on the kittens, “ I ain’t got ice cream here. But old uncle wildcat does keep popsicles in the freezer. Lock your hands together above your heads.” the kids did as told but looked at him a bit confused. Ted looped his own fisTed arms between their’s and lifTed them with his forearms so their feet dangled off the ground. The kids laughed as he swung them as he exaggeraTed the pumping of his arms as he walked to the break room. A fridge and chintzy folding card table and chairs set up.

“Why are you showing off for them? What does that get you?” Jason asked following. “Dinah assured me you wouldn’t drop dead from a heart attack suddenly. But i think you’re pushing it.”

“Gotta display them credentials. First round of interviews is always the single mom’s kids if you do it right.” he chuckled at Jason over exasteraggeraTed groaning. “Dinah is a smart cookie. Better listen to her.” Setting the kids down near the fridge, pulling out a couple of the cheap plastic tube popsicles after they both picked green. The kids had chomped into the plastic before Ted could pull his knife out full to cut them open. His brows furrowed slightly.

“They are fine.” Jason commenTed before he could ask.

“If you say so son.” he slid his pocket knife back into it’s palce. “So what brings you all the way to my humble gym at the other side of the east end? After months of radio silence hm?” he looked at Jason with a bit of judgment. “Nice to hear you haven’t cut off canary. Am i not pretty enough for ya son? Or is it the age?” he chuckled again at Jason’s curled lip.

“Stop that. It’s just weird.”

“Well, not like you leave me much to work with. Not like you boys can be guilted. Old dog has to use some new tricks.”

“Wouldn’t it be old cat? Cause you called yourself wildcat?” Ellie asked looking up at him all innocently looking.

Jason sent a bit of ghost speech at them. Finding it all to suspicious. suspicious/behave/upto?/behave/good

“You know what? Your right. This old cat can learn new tricks.” he scuffed the girls chin gently with his fist. “These scamps running you ragged? Look tired there for a youngin.”

“Things have been crazy. And wanTed to let the kids settle a bit before subjecting all of our friends to the kids.”

“Just the rogue community got first dibs on meeting the new littles. Children of my students. In my own neighborhood.” his hardened gaze projecTed his admonishment as good as alfred in the man’s own way. “You forget son, cats hear better than dogs. I’m not fully out of the game, despite some of youngins insistence.”

“Game? You’re a rogue too?” Danny asked earnestly.

“Not a rogue. I was an active hero. Now i’m mostly a teacher. But i dip my toes till when it’s at my door.” wildcat’s face softened as he addressed Danny.

“Ted’s never been part of the league.”

“No, i’m old school. But those kids sure did all come pounding on my door over the years.” he turne back his attention to Danny and Ellie. “My old hero club was called the justice society of america. We weren’t as fancy as the kids these days. With their schedules, camera’s, gps.” he flapped his a couple times. “Things got to political. Uncle sam starTed throwing their weight around too much, we had a few to many losses. So we went our own ways. These new kids have a bit more gumption to stand tall to it and keep their chins up and independence.”

“See, just like we told ya. Ted’s safe.” Jason addressed Danny and Ellie. That got a confused questioning look from wildcat direcTed at him. “We thought, it’d probably be a good idea to introduce the brats to you, so they knew you and the gym were a safe place to go if things ever got dicey in the alley.”

“Well of coarse it is.” Ted looked at him like he was stupid.

“Would you be willing to let us set up some protective equipment in your basement. That would be helpful with hiding them from unscrupulous government types? Maybe something hidden on the roof too? Looks liek a satellite dish.” Jason asked.

“Of coarse. Why you gotta be a chicken shit about asking. Like i’d say no to couple of sweet kids. I bet they’ll visit me.”

“You don’t want that.” Jason warned him.

“Bullshit. Rest of you think you’re to old and good for me. Some fresh faced little tikes. You’ll visit uncle wildcat won’t ya?” the kittens giggled picking up on ted’s teasing. They nodded eagerly. “Hey where’d your wrappers go?”

“We ate them. Can we have more?” Ellie asked.

He raised an eyebrow at them, but answered. “Sure, green again?”

“Purple!” “blue!” they answered happily. “Thank you.” they said in unison when they got handed their treats.

“Welcome. I’m not ruining their dinner am i?”

“You can’t feed them enough to do that. You’d be broke first.” Jason answered. “Bottomless pit of a speedster.”

“Noted. You tikes want a tour? Show this bossy boy he don’t know nothing, and i can teach ya to punch like a man.”

The dannies looked at him confused popsicles hanging out of their mouths. “But i’m a girl i want to punch like a girl.” Ellie said with her mouth still closed on the her treat.

“Girls punch as good as boys.” Danny corrected.

“They do. Your momma hits better than most my students. So does Dinah. Puts me on the ropes often enough.

“He’s old kids let him have his daTed idiotisms.” Jason shook his head.

“I dont need you defending my words. I got action to show what i mean.” He stuck a finger towards Jason. “And you better have known id say yes, and brought some of your stuff tonight.” Jason shrugged off the bag he had over his shoulder with an unamused look. “Good. You know your way around. Do what you gotta do. And let me show these kids around and how to use the equipment.”

“I warned you, they break anything, including you, i dont want to hear a word about it.” Jason grumbled and headed for the basement.

“Hogwash! I can handle some meta kids just fine.” Ted griped after him.

“Is that a wrestling rink? Can i give Danny the chair?” Ellie asked lifting one of the folding chairs.

“How bout i give yoy the chair.” Danny took offense.

“Wrestling? Chair? What? Whats that boy teaching you? Wrestling. Pft, im gonna show you some real fighting. Not that play shit on the boob tube.” Ted shook his head in dissapointment waving the kids to follow him.

***************

Jason stormed upstairs after hearing a large bang and feeling the building shake a little bit. “I warned you! Ellie doesn’t have the control for that.”

“Control? the poor girl can’t even make a proper fist! She’s gonna break her damn hand! Don't’ even get me starTed on her swing! And don’t you get me starTed on his lady fighting stance.” Ted yelled at him.”what are you teaching these kids? I know you know better.”

“Hey! Maia taught me that!” Danny scowled at ted.

“I broke your dumb bag! I hit just fine!” Ellie stomped her foot at him.

Jason groaned and rubbed his hand through his hair. “Look, we’re more concerned with her being taught how to hold a fork, or a pencil. Technique matters less when the target is gonna go down anyway. And we don’t want her punching people.”

“I won’t have ya handicapping Selina’s kids just cause they got powers. What happens when they go up against someone that doesn’t give when they hit? They are gonna get hurt. And he’s gonna get a whooping from some angry woman he does that in the wrong company. Boys shouldn’t be coping them ladies.” Ted argued with Jason.

Danny stormed in front of Ted to hover off the ground in his face. “Maia is a great fighter! Don’t insult her fighting! And she’s a good teacher. Not her fault I'm a bad student! And just cause she’s a girl doesn’t make her fighting style less than yours!”

“Easy there tiger.” Ted put his hand on Danny’s shoulder and lowered him a bit. “Who’s Maia? I’m not saying it’s bad. I’m saying you can’t do it cause it’s the ladies style.” Danny’s eyes flared bright green and the temp in the room starTed to drop.

“Fuck old man. You can’t word it better than that?” Jason said grabbing Ellie before she could do something stupid and Danny. “He doesn’t mean it like that. He recognizes it as the amazon's fighting style.”

“That what I said the ladies fighting style. They don’t show men. And don’t let men learn their fighting methods. He’s gonna get his ass kicked they see that.” Ted looked at him like he was stupid. But the temperature starTed to rise again and Danny’s ghost speak went from angry to confused.

“But maia taught me.” Danny said, confused, lowering to the floor under Jason’s hand.

“I have to be a little older before I can get taught Maia says.” Ellie added. “I have to learn the meditation methods first. And that’s boring.

“Unless Maia is one of the ladies in a top position, I don’t think…”

“She is.” Jason answered. “Maia is their other mom. She’s a top Amazon. She’s…”

“Her name is Pandora. Maia is like our mom word for her.” Danny answered.

“She’s the ancient of hope and leader of the acropolis! Which is the entrance to all the ancient Greek afterlifes. And the ancient and modern Greek area of the realms.” Ellie jumped in excitedly adding.

“It’s a type of adoption. But yeah. Top dog amazon. I don’t think you can get higher. She’s over the greek gods even.” Jason made sure to add more clarification based on the range of expressions on Wildcat’s face.

“You were adopTed by an amazonian warrior? And she’s teaching you? A little boy?” Ted double checked with Danny.

“Yeah.” Danny answered.

“Oh that’s probably going to go over like a lead balloon when that gets out.” Ted said half under his breath.

“We don’t know that.” Jason argued.

He got an unimpressed eyebrow from the older man. “Which one of us was alive when the Themyscira came out to the modern world?” he just shook his head dismissing the topic for now. “I’m sorry kiddo. The ladies in my experience…”

“The Amazons. Just say Amazons. Please.” Jason cut him off with a huff.

“The amazon’s in my experience, don’t take kindly to men trying to learn their fighting arts. I wasn’t meaning to be insulting. I was meaning to correct ya so you didn’t step on their toes. But if your maia says it’s ok and taught ya. Not my place to tell ya it’s wrong. But maybe try not to do that infront of any of the wonder girls, or the big lady wonder woman. God forbid her mother. The woman can be a tyrant in her rules.” Ted clarified what he had been trying to say.

“Artemis knows. When you meet her. She wants to assess you. Mostly cause she thinks I'm wrong in my own but whatever.” Jason added to the kids. “And I warned ya. I ain’t fixing that.” he poinTed at the bag that was partially through the brick wall, sand on the floor.

“Naw. that’s what your old man’s for. But,” he clapped Jason and Ellie on the shoulders. “Means i gotta dig out the equipment i put in storage for kara’s lessons. He cuffed Jason’s ear the younger hissing and pulling back. “Cause i’m teaching these kids how to make a proper fist and throw a punch damnit.”

“They’ll fucking heal quick if they don’t.” Jason said, holding his ear.

“Shitty excuse and you know it. Shit happens where you can’t alway rely on powers. I didn’t let Dinah fall on her voice box as her primary weapon. Not gonna let that happen to these kiddos either.”

“I’d prefer they weren’t fighting.” Jason snipped. Ted just gave him the most deadpan look dripping with judgment. He stormed off back to setting up the scrambler and ghost shield in their hiding place in a nook in the basement looking like an old rusTed out utility panel.

“Both of ya, hold up your best fist.” Ted took the time to reposition each of their fingers.

When Jason was done and it was time for them to leave he gathered up the kids and headed to the door with Ted behind them to lock up after. “Just so you know, the gym will be closed on monday. I got a family matter to deal with. But any other day the gym is open or closed. You kids are welcome to visit uncle wildcat. My apartment is upstairs. You come by anytime. And we’ll pick up those lessons. I'll have proper equipment for that super strength next week too. And if you bring your momma with ya, I’ll make sure to have some ice cream for ya.” he gave them a little wink.

“Don’t bribe them to set up their mom.” Jason scolded with a sneer.

“Why not? Gotta push my old students to swing by with what tactics I can. But this explains why Dinah has been by more recently. I hope to see the rest of them in the near future. Never know when this old ticker of mine is gonna give out.” Ted said pointedly before waving them off into the gotham night.

****************************************

Ted pulled his towel across his shoulders and left it to hang at the sound of his window opening. “Beer or water?” he asked without turning.

“Beers would probably be best.” Dinah said.

“Agreed.” Selina added, wrapping her arms over the older man’s shoulders and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for being kind to my kittens. I’m sorry we just dropped it on you like that.”

He patTed her arm with one hand and opened the fridge with the other. Catching the vines moving across his cabinets out of the corner of his eye. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. You lovely ladies spending the evening with me makes up well for it. Plus an explanation. You bring the rest of the contraptions with ya?”

“Oh you do have a pitcher. Wonderful.” Ivy said, taking out the item and a few glasses for water. A unique pitcher plant growing on one of the vines to attach to the faucet. She put the pitcher below it, and clean filtered water came out the bottom of it.

“Yeah,” Jason answered, shoving Harley down in a seat at the table.

“Good to see ya still kicking tom cat.”

“Good to see ya doing better without that trash you had hanging off ya before sweetheart.” Ted dropped a12 pack of Pabst on the table. “How about we start with what changed that I suddenly got a visit, after being left in the dark?” he said as he sat down at the table with the ladies and Jason.

“If it's any consolation, we’ve tried to keep a lot of people in the dark without locking the kids in a box. You weren't singled out.” Ivy said casually.

“So what happened?” He asked again.

“Kids are very social and open, caught the eye of some two bit trash. Not a problem anymore. But their travel patterns might have been passed to bigger fish.” Jason said in that stupid cryptic bat way.

“Who?” He asked cracking open a can. Harley already had one.

“Black mask.” Jason answered.

“And who did the kids talk to they shouldn't have?” Ted asked.

“Stan.” Selina answered. “He starTed the who's our daddy questions you got hit with.”

“You took out the trash in that case.” Ted said. “And I guess Bruce aint got a hand in raising them up? Can't be too happy with that.”

“He's not. But the kids I'm sure will figure it out soon enough. They are spending time with their siblings.”

“I trust there's a good reason for that. So my gym just to mix up their schedule a bit?”

“That and if trouble follows you aren't a sitting duck. Mask isn't the only or even primary threat.”

“Whose the big threat?” He asked.

“Dumb feds in white suits, and…”

“There's a mole or more in the league.”

“Danny and Ellies trust in heroes is almost non existent.”

“You're shitting me?” Ted said shocked.

“We wi…”

“Afraid not.”’

“Got proof?”

“No, but that was Bruce's determination.”

“If it's not true, from our evidence the league is a direct threat to the kids. So let's hope it's a mole.”

“Did you bring that with the rest of your toys?”

“Of course.” Dinah pulled out the papers. Ted hated computers.

Ted took them from her. “So which one of you is charming the skirts off an amazon?”

“I think only Jason.”

“Thats been a while. And I wouldn't call it charmed. Neither would Artemis. That's a broken jaw worthy statement.”

“Is your girl Maia then? No, you said she didn't believe Danny knew the ladies fighting. And her name is Pandora. ”

“I'm beggin ya, call it Amazonian. They are B’s spawn. They would argue till they passed out from lack of oxygen if they could. It's not even a limitation for them.”

“Eh,” Ted waved him off. “You kids are too sensitive these days.” Dinah chuckled behind her hand at the boys bickering.

“Pandora is in the paperwork.”

“Personally, I'd like it if you played up to Bruce about applying for the position of parent.” Selina teased taking a beer for herself finally.

That got a hearty chuckle from Ted as he patted around his shirt. One of Ivy's vines lowered with his reading glasses. “Thank you darling. I'd be amenable to that, I can get one over Bruce. Scamp needs humbling from time to time.”

“Scamp? he's forty." Jason scowled.

“And i'm in my 70s.”

“77,” Harley teased.

“Watch yourself. I remember that little hothead coming in here. Then showing up with each of you rascals in tow. Around the same ages. I get whatever naming privileges I want. Now why don't you set up your toys. And I sit here with my pretty company while going over these here pages.”

“If it saves me from your terrible flirting with women half your age then gladly.”

*********************

“Which one of my kids did this again?” Bruce asked Ted.

“Hell if i know, they all look alike to me at this point. What you want from me? To mess with that new fangle camera system you pushed on me?” Ted gruffed at Bruce.

“No, no it's fine. I’ll get some contractors right on it.” Bruce said, while thinking to himself to call Dinah and see if she's checked on Ted recently, and if she could test his cognitive abilities.

“Here, let's go to the office. You can use that stupid computer.” Ted patTed him on the shoulder to lead him to the office.

Bruce went straight to the computer but his eyes caught on a few new pictures since he was last here on display around the desk and walls. “How’s things been lately Ted? Anything new in your life?”

“Yeah! One of the girls I taught up came back around recently with her kids. I think you know her. Selina. She’s real pretty . good kids too. We hit it off like old times you know. Asked her if she was looking for a daddy for them kids of hers. Kids said he wasn’t in the picture, so took my shot. And now I get to feel young again with some new kids and a fine young woman.” Ted said proudly. Passing Bruce another picture to show off the sirens and kids with him. “ladies came as a set, so getting an extra workout. Boosting that stamina for the field incase things get wild around here anytime soon.” he elbowed Bruce jovially.

“I see, Ted, do you remember when Selina and I were together, sort of off and on?” Bruce probed a bit. Not sure if he was being screwed with, which was probable on both sides. Higher on the siren’s but he needed to know if Ted was too, or they were taking advantage of him in his old age. And maybe someone needed to check on Ted a bit more often if that was the case.

“Oh, yeah, I remember. Too bad you ain’t got it in ya to keep the ladies around. Even them papers call you out on your lack of ability to keep them from running. It’s too bad. Selina is a real nice gal. Harley and Ivy are fun too.” he pat Bruce on the back roughly while he emailed the contractors for Ted from the gym email. Even though the man never used it. “No hard feelings right? Can’t blame a guy for wanting to scoop up such a fine catch. Let alone 3. And kids! Love having kids around. These two got some real spunk. Remind me of you and Selina a bit when you were young. Less anger though. Shows what a good job the ladies are doing. Kids without fathers tend to be angry. But these two are pretty well adjusted.”

“No,” Bruce cleared his throat. “No hard feelings. Selina is an amazing woman. I just hope, you are going into this with a clear mind. Don’t want to bite off more than you can chew. Have you thought of looking for an assistant for the gym?” for you going across Bruce’s mind.

“Don’t you worry, this ticker is going strong, and so’s junior. Things go good maybe I ask the ladies and kids if they want any siblings. I still got them juices flowing.” Ted said with a chuckle amusing himself and patting Bruce again. “Ladies can’t make’em on their own ya know. My first two are doing pretty good. Not that they come by as often as i’d like but what can ya do right? How bout you? All your kids swing by for the holidays?”

“Uh, most of them, yes.” Bruce said, seeing the response email. So happy he cc’d his personal work email at wayne industries. He responded to the enquiries and sent the card information for the deposit.

“Oh, which one you on the outs with now? You and dick fighting again about the younger bunch?”

“No, dick and i are…”

“Oh timmy then. You giving that boy to much on his plate still?”

“Tim, has been at the manor more lately…”

“Ah, Cass then. Your only daughter. Not for a lack of trying to get in your good graces on Helena's part as a young girl. Cass still staying away in Hong Kong?”

“No, she’s back in town. She…”

“Not that little spit fire damian is it? He call his momma on you?”

“No, not that he’s not allowed.”

“Did you piss off the new one already? Duke seems pretty laid back to be messing…”

“Duke and I are fine.” Bruce cut him off this time.

“You and Jay not bury the hatchet? That’s too bad. Boys doing good work around here. Alley’s been looking the best it has been in a long time. By proxy so’s the area around it.” Ted said solemnly. He held out a box of cracker jacks he had sitting on his desk out to Bruce. Taking a pinch for himself too.

The next email came in and Bruce took that opening. “Looks like the contractor will be here in two days to do measurements and start work early next week. Not that this hasn’t been a wonderful bout of catching up, but I'm afraid I have to get back to some tasks I left off on.”

“Oh of course. Busy man. Have old al give me a ring. Three of us can chat out like old times. Ike after your lessons in grade school.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him that. We’ll catch up later. But if you have any problems with the repairs, feel free to contact me. I’ll be sure to get it squared away.” Bruce said, making his way out with Ted following him to the door.

“That’s for getting that fixed up lickity split for me. You’re a good kid Bruce. Hope to be seeing you around more.” Ted let him leave without him being a shadow once he got to the office door. Taking another bite of his snack as he watched him speed walk away. He caught the tug on his tie just before he was out of sight through the front windows. Ted chuckled to himself. That’d have the boy squirming. He’d be paranoid enough too to guilt his own kids into coming in and checking on him. Still playing mental checkers with the best of them. Hoped the girls and birds enjoyed that one.