Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter one

Ned was lying in bed after a long tiring day at work. He could finally rest, everyone had eaten dinner, the kids were in bed, all his work was done, everything should have been done.

Ned felt someone shaking his arm. Ned slowly opened his eyes, he looked up and saw a tired Catelyn, she looked tired and was holding Rickon in her arms, Rickon had his bottle in his mouth, “Cat? Is something wrong?” Ned asked. Catelyn sighed and nodded. “Come downstairs.”

Ned walked into the living room and saw his nephew, Jon sitting on the couch. “Hi uncle Ned.” Jon looked disheveled, his hair was messy and knotted, he was wearing a ripped black hoodie and gray jeans covered in dirt. Jon had his backpack sitting next to him and his puppy, ‘Ghost’ on his lap. “Jon? What are you doing here, its past midnight.” Ned spoke. “Oh my mom didn’t call you?” “No, no she did not.” Catelyn replied tiredly. “Oh….sorry….my mom said you guys were going to take care of me while she’s gone.” ‘oh not again’ Ned thought, Lyanna frequently left Jon on their doorstep when she was going somewhere, usually without notice and without telling anyone where she’s going or when she’ll be back. “Jon, do you know where your mother is and do you know when she’ll be back?” Ned sat down on the couch next to Jon. “Uh….i think she said she was going to be gone for a few weeks…i don’t think she said where though,” Jon muttered while petting ghost. “Weeks!?” Catelyn spoke in a tense irritated voice, though it wasn’t surprised, Lyanna had once left Jon with them for six months when he was a baby, it was basically a routine that every few weeks Jon would show up and they would have to keep him for awhile, it could range from a few hours to a few days to a few weeks to a few months.

“alright….Jon, why don’t you go see if Robb or Theon are still awake, if they are they can help you get settled.” Jon nodded, he picked up Ghost and his bag and went up the stairs.

In Ned and Catelyns room

“Have you gotten through to Lyanna yet?” Catelyn questioned. “No…i still keep getting her voice mail.” Catelyn rubbed her face tiredly. “This is ridiculous….” Ned sighed “You know how Lyanna is…when she gets overwhelmed….” “she leaves Jon on our doorstep, it doesn’t matter how late it is, how cold it is, it doesn’t even matter if any of us are home, she just drops him at our door with no regarde.” Catelyn spoke in a tired voice. “Lyanna has been through…a lot...you know that.” Ned put his hand on Catelyn's back and rubbed it. “I know and I feel bad for her but with how little supervision Jon has it’s a miracle that he hasn’t killed himself or been kidnapped.” Ned didn’t know how to reply to that one, mainly because he knew that Catelyn was mostly right.

POV switch: Jon

Jon had gone down to the basement in the house, that's where Theon slept so he had more ‘freedom’. Jon had checked Robbs room but Robb wasn’t there so he was probably with Theon downstairs. Jon saw Theon and Robb sitting on the couch. Robbs puppy Greywind was sitting in his lap, Theon had a baggie of weed on his lap and he was rolling a joint, Theon usually had drugs, mostly weed, sometimes alcohol and other stuff too. Jon walked over and plopped down on the couch with Ghost in his arms. “Oh hi Jon.” Robb greeted. “Ugh, Your back.” Theon groaned. “Yup, I should be here for a few weeks.” Jon replied and rolled his eyes. Neither Robb nor Theon looked shocked, they understood that Jon stayed and went randomly, they didn’t mind. “You wanna stay in my room?” Robb asked. Jon usually stayed in Robbs room, both of them didn’t mind sharing a space and Robb had a big room so they weren’t cramped together. “Sure.” Jon shrugged and his eyes once again landed on Theons bag of weed. “I’m surprised you took that out, Aunt Catelyn is awake, if she catches you with that you're dead.” Theon scoffed. “I won’t get caught, I never do. The only way I’ll get caught is if one of you twats tell, and if one of you two do that I will not share my stash with you guys. Speaking of which, Jon, you want a joint?” Jon thought for a moment. “Nah, maybe later but uncle Ned usually checks on me not too long after i get my shit unpacked and i don’t want to look stoned when he does….maybe after everyone goes back to sleep tho.” Jon spoke. “That’s fine, more for us.” Robb picked up a joint and lit it.

Two hours later, at 2:45 AM:

Jon was lying on the inflatable mattress that they had set up in Robbs room. Jon had Ghost lying on his chest. Robb was in his bed with Greywind. Jon couldn’t sleep so he was just staring out the window. Jon saw his phone light up from a notification, he opened his phone and saw a notification of a text from his mom. 

Mom: Hey kid, how ya doing?

Jon paused for a few seconds before responding.

Jon: Fine, I hung out with Robb and Theon a bit before bed.

Mom: Fun, hey I gotta ask you a favor, Ned and Catelyn keep texting and calling me but I really don’t want to deal with their lectures so would you mind telling them I’m too busy to talk?

Jon sighed, his mom rarely texted him while she was gone unless Ned and Catelyn were bombarding her with texts and calls.

Jon: i guess….should i tell them where you are?.....where are you, you didn’t really let me know before you left.

Mom: oh I’m in this really cool hotel in the Reach, great for relieving stress….but don’t tell Ned, he always gets a bit pissy when he finds out where i’m going and what I’m doing and it becomes a whole thing, you get how uptight he is, lol.

Jon: alright….I won’t tell.

Mom: Thanks kid, when i get back we’ll do something together, just gotta recharge myself first.

Jon slightly smiled at the idea of having fun with his mom.

Jon: do you know when you’ll be back? I know you said a few weeks but that isn’t very exact…

Jon stared at his phone for ten minutes and got no reply, Jon was trying to keep his smile but...

Jon: Mom?

Ten more minutes of staring at the phone and getting no response, Jon sighed and frowned.

Jon: I love you, goodnight.

Jon laid back down and curled up with Ghost. He put his phone on his pillow so if his mom texted him back he would notice the light and wake up.

Chapter Text

Chapter two

6:30 AM

Jon felt someone shake him awake, he opened his tired eyes and saw Robb standing over him. “Jon, wake up, it’s time for breakfast.” Jon groaned but got up, he always forgot how early they had breakfast here, at his moms house they just had breakfast at whatever time they happened to wake up at. It always took a few days for Jon to get used to having a schedule. Jon grabbed his backpack from besides the bed and started rummaging through it to find cleanish clothes, Jon eventually just grabbed a hoodie and a random set of jeans, it had been a few days since they had been washed but since they only had grass stains on them they were the cleanest thing he could wear. Before leaving the room he checked his texts in case his mom left him a message, his texts from last night were marked with ‘seen’ but there was no reply. Jon sighed and left with Robb.

In the dining room.

Jon and Robb walked into the dining room, Theon, Arya, Sansa, Bran, and Rickon were all there already. When Arya noticed Jon she jumped out of her seat and hugged him, Jon picked her up. “Jon! I didn’t know you were here!” Arya spoke excitedly, Bran got up and Jon picked him up too. ”Jon!”. Jon saw Sansa give him a nod of acknowledgement. “Yeah, i got here last night.” Jon had a smile on his face, it was always nice getting a greeting from his younger cousins. Jon put Arya and Bran down and sat down at the table. “How long are you going to be here?” Bran asked with a big smile. “A few weeks.” Jon replied. Arya and Bran looked overjoyed.

Ned walked into the room holding some plates of beacon and eggs. “Morning kids.” a series of ‘morning dad’ and ‘morning Ned’ heard around the table. Ned put down a plate in front of everyone, Catelyn walked in shortly after and joined everyone at the table. Jon remembered his talk with his mom last night. “Uh….Uncle Ned, my mom texted me last night.” Ned looked at Jon and raised an eyebrow. “What did she say?” Jon looked down at his lap, he hated being the communication between his mom and uncle. “She says she’ll be back once she feels better and she asked me to tell you not to text or call her because she’s busy.” Ned and Catelyn both sighed. “Thank you for telling me Jon, did she say where she was?” she did but she asked Jon not to tell and she didn’t want to upset her. “No…” Jon lied. Jon could see that Ned knew he was lying but he merely nodded and moved on. “Everyone, finish up breakfast or you’ll be late for school.” Catelyn spoke. ‘Oh yeah, I forgot about school’ Jon thought. Jon usually ditched school or at least a few classes, after all it’s not like he got in real trouble, his mom didn’t answer the phone when he called, much less when teachers called, and if they gave him detention he just wouldn’t go to school till the teachers gave up. But when Jon was with his uncles family he usually spent a bit more time at school since they would notice if he ditched to much.

In the car. 

“And that's why I'm driving you brats around all day.” Theon groaned. Jon rolled his eyes, since Theon was nineteen and didn’t have a proper job besides selling weed to teenagers and since he wasn’t going to school Catelyn and Ned said he wouldn’t have to pay rent if he ran occasional errands like going grocery shopping once a week or dropping off bills and mail and dropping everyone off at school in the morning. “It’s not all day, you don’t even pick us up after school, you just gotta drop us off.” Robb replied to Theons rant. “Still, it’s fucking annoying.” Theon grumbled. “You’re fucking annoying.” Arya snapped at Theon, Jon snorted. “Fuck you! I’ll stop this car and leave you on the side of the road!” Theon raised his voice. “Fight me, you ass!” Arya tried to punch Theon from the backseat, Theon pushed her back and she knocked against Sansa. “You both are fucking annoying!” Sansa screeched and pushed Arya, Arya fell on Bran. Arya grabbed a fist full of Sansa’s hair and pulled, then Bran kicked Sansa. “You jerks!!!” Robb tried to pull them apart from the front seat. “Jon, a little help?” Jon grabbed Arya and Bran and attempted to yank them off Sansa but that just made Aryas grip around Sansa’s hair tighten, Sansa started screaming and then Theon hit the brakes and everyone fell forward. “Sansa, Arya, Bran, out! We’re here, we’re at your school, get the fuck out of my car!” Theon yelled. Sansa, Arya and Bran all got a bit huffy but got out, as they got out Arya flipped off Theon. 

“Now i just gotta drive you twats to school..” Theon grumbled.

Chapter Text

Chapter three

In art class

Jon was sitting at his desk next to his best friend Sam, Jon was drawing Ghost as a Direwolf, the teacher had said to draw something related to school but Jon just couldn’t think of anything that he wouldn’t get in trouble for drawing. 

“I like your drawing.” Sam whispered. “Thanks, what are you drawing?” The art teacher frequently gave out detentions if he heard any noise so they had to whisper. Jon may not care much about getting in trouble at school but he didn’t want Sam to get in trouble so he whispered. Sam tilted up his drawing, it was a picture of Sam at a desk reading books. “I like your drawing too.” Sam smiled. “Thanks….I’m glad you're here today, it gets a bit lonely without you here.” Jon nodded apologetically. “I'm sorry, I just don’t like school. i just feel so uncomfortable here….but since I'm staying with my uncles family again so I probably won’t be ditching as much.” Jon drew a little moon in the corner of his drawing. “Oh, you’re staying with them again? Is your mom…out of town again.” Sam asked in a slightly awkward tone. “Yeah…on the brightside this time she told me what area she was in and she told me a timeframe of when she’ll be back…she even said once she’s back we’ll go do something fun.” Jon smiled at the prospect. ‘I wonder what we’re gonna do…maybe we can go rollerskating or we could get ice cream, or have a movie night’ Jon thought. “Well that's good….do you have any plans over the weekend? Satin is doing a movie night at his house.” Sam spoke. “Oh yeah, I think I saw him make a post about it. What time does it start? I have something I need to do on saturday.” Sam thought for a moment. “Uh like 5:00 PM I think.” Jon took out his phone and set a reminder on his calendar. “Okay, yeah, i can come.” Sam grinned. “Nice…What else are you doing on Saturday?” Jon pouted. “My visits with my dad got moved to saturday.”  “oh…” “yeah…”

At lunch in the cafeteria.

Jon was sitting with Satin, and Sam. “Then the cops busted down the door and arrested him, but luckily i jumped out a window so they didn’t catch me, and thats how my weed dealer got arrested.” Satin spoke. “No surprise there, he was a psycho, plus he was always trying to get into your pants, he sucked.” Jon replied. “Yes but him wanting to get into my pants was how I got my weed for cheap. Now I don’t have cheap weed or a weed dealer.” Satin groaned. “Well maybe that's a good thing, I agree with Jon, that guy was creepy and should you really take weed from creeps?” Sam asked. “Yeah, you need to be careful, only take weed from creeps, you know personally, that's what I do.” Satin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, just give me Theons number.” Jon took out his notebook and ripped out a page, he wrote Theons number on it and handed it to Satin. “Thanks, love.” Satin blew a kiss at Jon, Jon turned pink and looked away. Satin giggled. “You're so cute…..which reminds me, you coming for movie night?” Jon rubbed his face. “Mhm…What are we watching?” Satin grinned. “Mean girls, the new one, i want to see if it's really that bad.”

After school

Jon was walking home from school, it was raining hard, Jon put his hood up so he could at least try to shield his face from the rain. Jon thought about calling Theon to ask for a ride but he knew Theon would just complain about it so he didn’t bother. Jon took out his phone and saw that his mom was online, he walked under a nearby tree and sat down, he started recording the rain, then sent it to his mom. 

Jon: Hey mom, I hope the weathers better for you, love you.

Jon sent the message and stared at his screen for around ten minutes before his moms account went offline. ‘She’s probably just really busy…..just really, really, really busy’. Jon sighed and resumed walking home with his head hung down.

At home

By the time Jon had gotten home he was soaked, he quickly took off his damp jacket and boots. Ghost ran up to Jon and jumped up, Jon gave Ghost a pet. “Yeash, Jon, you know the bus is an option, you don’t have to walk home in the rain.” Jon saw Robb sitting on the living room couch doing some homework with. Jon shrugged, “I don’t like the bus, too many people.” Jon wrung out his hair. “It’s only something like twenty people on the bus.” Jon sat down next to Robb and Ghost jumped onto the couch next to Jon. “Yeah, like I said, to many people, how do you not get your eardrums blown out in a closed space full of twenty loud people?” Robb chuckled. “Simple, I’m one of the loud people, it doesn’t affect me.” Jon rolled his eyes but slightly smiled. “So anything interesting happen to you today?” Jon asked. “Nothing really, i got a science test, I got B+. You?” Robb replied. “In art class they wanted us to make something related to how we feel about school but if i put my feelings about school into art i might get detention for weeks so i drew Ghost as a wolf. The teacher yelled at me for five minutes after we turned in our drawings and ripped it apart.” Robbs eyes widened. “Fucking hell…Thats harsh.” Jon shrugged. “A lot of people suck…but speaking of people who don’t suck, this weekend I'm having a movie night with Satin and Sam. We’re gonna watch the new mean girls movie, so that could be fun.” Jon smiled. “Ugh….Don’t mention that movie when Theons around, we watched it together and he went on this multiple hour long rant about how it was a disservice to the franchise.” Jon snorted. “Are you kidding me?” Robb groaned. “I wish. he just bitched for hours, gave me a fucking headache.” Jon started giggling. “This is now automatically my favorite movie and when i see it I’m going to tell Theon that it’s the best movie ever and for every criticism he says i will say a compliment.” Jon spoke in a mischievous tone. “Jon no! I can’t take that much Theon bitching! You don’t always need to get into petty arguments with him!” Jon put on a sympathetic smile. “Oh sweet Robb….Petty is my middle name.”

Chapter Text

Chapter four

Saturday, 1:00 PM

In Ned's car

Ned was in the driver's seat of the car and Jon was in the passenger seat. They were going to see Jon’s father, Rhaegar. Jon saw Rhaegar once every two weeks for one hour, sometimes less. They had lunch together then they would go their separate ways. Jon felt odd about seeing his father, Rhaegar was never especially interested in him, whenever he saw Rhaegar Jon felt like Rhaegar was doing a chore, he was never happy to see Jon, at most indifferent. on one hand he didn’t see Rhaegar enough to have much of a relationship but on the other hand he felt a need to see him, it was tied to a silly hope that the next time he saw Rhaegar he would be different, he would be happy to see Jon and they would talk and get along.

“How are you feeling?” Ned asked. Jon shrugged. “Um I guess excited? Not much happens usually, we just eat some food together.” Ned nodded in an understanding way, he was against Rhaegar having any contact with Jon after what Rhaegar did to Lyanna, however the Targaryens had good lawyers, Rhaegar got as much visitation as he wanted and he didn’t have to pay child support. Ned’s blood boiled just thinking about it, not that Ned would ever voice it in front of Jon. Ned wouldn’t trash Jon’s father in front of him, that wouldn’t be fair for Jon.

“We’re trying a new restaurant, It’s called something like ‘fire and burns’.” Jon muttered. Ned raised an eyebrow. “ ‘Fire and Burns’?...You mean ‘fire and the flames’? The one where they cook in front of you.” Ned had gone on a date with Catelyn there, it served mainly meat and they would set the meat on fire to cook it. It was all very showy, not Neds cup of tea but it was okay. “Yeah something like that…” Jon yawned as he spoke. Ned noticed that Jon had dark rings around his eyes and looked really tired. “I’ll take it that you didn’t sleep last night.” Jon nodded. “Yeah sorry…I was…uh...doing homework…” Jon looked out the window. Ned snorted slightly. “Jon….when you’re tired you are a horrible liar. Come on, what were you actually doing? You aren’t in trouble, just tell me.” Ned knew Jon rarely did his homework, it wasn’t something he approved of, in fact he tried to curve Jon’s behavior when he could and sometimes it could work for a time. Ned could set up so much structure, so many rules for Jon but the moment Lyanna came back all those rules went out the window. Jon had no rules with Lyanna, Ned was surprised Jon wasn’t a complete delinquent. “Well…I was texting my friend Satin last night and we talked till like…5:30 AM.” Jon hesitantly replied. “Jon, you know in my house bedtime is 9:00 PM, you can’t stay up that late, it’s bad for your health.” Ned sighed. Jon’s habits were always concerning to Ned, he felt like whenever Jon came to stay with them he had a new bad habit, or a bad habit that was worsening, he knew it wasn’t all necessarily Jons fault, a lot of the times he picked up bad habits from trying to find ways to get Lyanna's attention. “I’m sorry….I know I should have been asleep, but it’s hard to make myself sleep during the day, for the past few months I’ve been sleeping during the day and doing stuff at night….sorry.” Jon explained in an apologetic tone, Jon was practically sinking into the seat. ‘Great, another habit I need to get him to break’ Ned shook his head. “No more staying up all night and sleeping all day, I need you to be able to follow the schedule…I know you don’t have the best ‘attendance record’ for school when you stay with your mother but when you stay in my house you ne-” “To follow the rules…including going to school…I know.” Jon spoke, cutting Ned off. “Yes, exactly, I know it’s hard to switch your habits and behavior up every time you come stay with me but your education is important.” Jon nodded along while staring at the ground. “I know…having a schedule is good for me. I know. We always have this talk at some point while I stay with you.” 

An uncomfortable silence filled the car. After around five minutes Ned finally broke the silence. “So, have you talked to your mom recently?” Ned asked. Lyanna and Jon usually talked for at least a few minutes before Jon went to see Rhaegar. “Uh yeah…I talked to her this morning before we left…” Jon muttered. Jon was always iffy with details about his talks with Lyanna. Ned knew Lyanna had told Jon multiple times not to tell Ned or Catelyn about what she said or what she was doing or where she was. And since Jon didn’t want to upset Lyanna, details from their talks usually don’t get repeated. “How is she feeling?” Ned asked. “She’s fine…she’s busy but fine.” Jon looked away from Ned. “Okay, that's good, did she say anything about you visiting Rhaegar?” Jon nodded. “She told me to tell him that she says ‘hi’...that's all. Like I said, she was busy, we didn’t talk much.” Ned nodded, he knew Lyanna probably said a lot more but he wouldn’t force Jon to tell him everything. ‘My parents forced Lyanna to tell them everything and what did it result in? A teenage pregnancy with a much older married man.’

They pulled up to the restaurant. Ned and Jon both got out. The plan was that Ned would wait with Jon for a few minutes, then when they saw Rhaegar Ned would leave. That was the plan. 

Forty minutes later, forty minutes and Rhaegar still hadn’t shown up. Rhaegar had one hour to see Jon every two weeks and he wasted forty minutes of it. Jon was sitting on the ground next to the door of the restaurant. Ned was internally fuming. “Jon, can I have your phone? I want to call your father.” Ned asked in a calm tone, he didn’t want to get angry in front of Jon. Jon said nothing in response and handed his phone to Ned. Ned found Rhaegar’s number and called him. After around thirty seconds it went to voicemail. ‘Hello, you have reached Rhaegar Targaryen, if I have not answered I am likely busy, leave a message if it’s urgent.’ Ned sighed. “Rhaegar, this is Ned Stark. I am at the restaurant with Jon, your son, where you said you would meet him, we’ve been waiting for forty minutes. Please get here fast or call back.” Ned's tone got a bit harsher, he truthfully had very little patience for Rhaegar, especially when it came to Rhaegar not showing up to spend time with Jon. ‘You would think a man who only got an hour every two weeks with his son would be punctual and show up on time.’ Ned thought bitterly. Jon was hugging his knees while he sat. “Maybe he’s driving and that's why he can’t answer.” Jon muttered. Ned sat down next to Jon. “That could be it.” Ned put his hand on Jon’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort Jon, he knew Jon didn’t exactly like his father but it would hurt any kid to be forgotten or abandoned by their father. “Maybe it’s traffic, He’ll probably be here soon.

But he wasn’t, the minutes ticked by over the next thirty minutes Ned called Rhaegar five times and just got to voicemail. As the minutes ticked by Jon felt like crying more and more. Until finally, finally they got a call from Rhaegar's phone. Ned answered and Jon leaned over so he could try and overhear the conversation.

“Rhaegar finally I've tried to call you-.” Ned was cut off. “Who is this?” that wasn’t Rhaegar. “Um it’s Ned Stark…who are you?” Ned asked. “Oh Ned, this is Jon Connington, Rhaegar's assistant, I noticed you were calling Rhaegar's phone a lot, is there a problem?” Jon Connington answered. Ned had met Jon Connington a few times before when Rhaegar had brought him while he saw Jon, they didn’t know each other well but there seemed a mutual feeling of distrust. “Hello, mister Connington, Yes, in fact there is a problem, It’s Rhaegar’s scheduled meet up with his son. We have been waiting at the restaurant for over an hour at this point, where is Rhaegar?” Ned is biting his tongue so he doesn’t yell at Connington in front of Jon. “I apologize Ned, Rhaegar is too busy today, he can’t be there.” Ned could tell Jon heard what Connington said. Jon looked like he wanted to cry. “What has Rhaegar been so busy, if i may ask?” Ned spoke with a forced calm tone. “His son, Aegon, is having an event at school, a soccer game.” And that was it, Jon burst into tears when he heard that. Ned quickly ended the call. “Jon-.” Ned tried to speak but Jon stood up and got back in the car.

The drive back home was tense and silent, the silence only ever broken by Jon’s occasional quiet sobs. Ned tried to comfort Jon but he didn’t know what to say. What was he supposed to say, ‘Sorry your dad ditched you for his other son’?

When they got home Jon immediately ran upstairs to his and Robbs room. Catelyn walked into the living room after hearing them get home. “Where were you? I thought you were just dropping off Jon with Rhaegar and coming back?” Catelyn spoke. “That was the plan but Rhaegar decided not to show up. We waited for over an hour before Rhaegar's assistant called and told us that Rhaegar's other son was having a sports game and Rhaegar was going to see that instead of going to see Jon.” Ned ranted slightly. Catelyn's eyes widened. “That is ridiculous.” Catelyn replied. “Mhm, and now Jon’s in his room crying.” Ned rubbed his temples tiredly. “This is great, just great, the boy's mother abandons him to go to who knows where and do who knows what and his father abandons him to go hang out with a child he can see every day.” Catelyn's tone was exasperated. “Don’t bring Lyanna into this, Rhaegars the one who made Jon cry.” Ned was starting to get defensive. “She’s his mother and she should be here, she should be comforting him, don’t you think Jon would be in a better state if Lyanna was here? If Lyanna was comforting her kid instead of abandoning him, both his parents shouldn’t be this absent. It’s not healthy for him, he’s a child, he needs supervision, he needs his parents, both of them!” Ned always got defensive of Lyanna, he knew she had some faults but he didn’t like to criticize her. “We’re discussing Rhaegar, not Lyanna! I understand Lyanna has some faults but Rhaegar started all this!” Ned snapped. Catelyn glared at Ned and turned away. NEd took a deep breath. “I’m sorry Cat…I’m sorry it’s just all been a stressful day.” Ned walked over to Catelyn and kissed her gently. “I know. I suppose I’m sorry, I know how defensive you get about Lyanna. I’m just concerned.”  Catelyn kissed him back.

In Robb and Jon’s room

Jon was curled up in a little ball on his bed, he was sobbing quietly. He had his phone in his hands and was trying to message Lyanna.

Jon: Mom please, I need to talk I need help.

Jon kept trying to calm himself down but he couldn’t stop crying.

Jon: mom, I need you please. Dad ditched me today and i need help, please mom

No answer. Jon waited five more minutes before trying again. 

Jon: mom please, please, I need you please.

Jon was practically begging over text, his sobbing was starting to become painful, his breathing was becoming shallow, it felt like he could barely breathe.

Jon: mom please just answer, I need you, please, please just answer, please!

Jon was shaking, he felt like he was about to pass out, he felt like the world was closing in on him, everything felt horrible and he felt angry and sad. ‘Why doesn’t dad love me?’ Jon thought and let out a sob, he tried to wipe his tears but they kept coming, he felt like he was dying from these horrible feelings.

Chapter Text

Chapter five

4:50 PM Saturday (Same day as last chapter)

In Robb and Jon’s room.

Still no response from Lyanna but luckily Jon had managed to calm himself down, at least a bit. His brain only kinda felt like it was about to explode, it helped a lot when Ghost got home and curled up with him. Ghost didn’t like Rhaegar, he would try get a bit aggressive with him, and Rhaegar seemed scared of Ghost so when Jon went to meet with Rhaegar he either had to leave Ghost at home or with the Starks dog walker, this time he had left Ghost with the dog walker and Ghost wasn’t back from his walk when Jon and Ned got home.

Jon was cuddling his face into Ghost's fur and still slightly crying, he just felt so broken. 

“Why couldn’t he just come?....He sees me twice a month...would it be so bad to just miss one game and come see me?....Am I that annoying?” Jon asked. Ghost responded by licking Jons hand. “I mean, I get he has to take care of his other kid to take care of but don’t I matter? I’m his son too…” Jon felt more tears start welling up in his eyes. Ghost tilted his head. “You’re right I’m just being a brat….I should be glad he spends any time with me.” Jon petted Ghost's head. “Thanks Ghost, you’re really good at listening.” Jon heard a ping from his phone, he instantly grabbed it, hoping it would be a message from Lyanna but instead the notification read ‘Your friend ‘Aegon Martell’ posted a photo, click here to see it’. Jon felt like he was just smacked in the chest with a hammer. Jon barely knew his half-brother, Rhaegar made sure to keep his ‘perfect family’ away from the immoral affair baby. Jon and his half-siblings only had contact with each other through facebook and the yearly christmas cards the Targaryens sent to everyone they knew. Jon had only seen his half-siblings in person a handful of times when they were younger and things were very awkward for everyone involved so Jon did everyone a favor by not forcing himself into his fathers family's life. 

Jon took a deep breath and clicked on the notification. Jon instantly regretted clicking it. It had brought Jon to a photo of Aegon in a soccer uniform and holding a big trophy, Rhaegar was standing next to him. Jon felt like he wanted to just go back to sobbing. ‘Why would I click on anything even mildly related to Aegon or dad, what did I expect?’ Jon excited the tab and turned his phone off. ‘Stupid dad…stupid Aegon…stupid me…maybe i should just leave? Who would miss me, dad and mom probably wouldn’t notice…Uncle Ned probably would but I would be doing him a favor, I can tell that he and aunt Catelyn are getting sick of me being here….Robb would probably be happy that he gets his room to himself…maybe leaving would be best.’ Jon was suddenly shaken from his thoughts. “Jon, are you okay?”. Jon wiped his tears before turning over to look, it was Robb and Theon. Robb looked concerned and Theon was sipping a soda and had a raised eyebrow. “Oh hi guys…what's up?” Jon asked, his throat was sore, it hurt to talk. “We just got back from the mall, we got food, got some hair dye, usual shit. Speaking of shit why do you look like that?” Theon sat on the foot of Jon’s mattress. “Shut up, you stupid kraken…” Jon muttered and turned over, pressing his tear stained face into his pillow. “Oh fuck you, ya little twat.” Theon lightly smacked Jon’s thigh. “Theon, be nice. Jon’s clearly upset.” Robb glared at Theon and sat next to Jon. “Oh what a surprise. Jon’s pissed off, that totally never happens, I’ve never seen Jon pissed or upset at all, I’m shocked that he’s upset.” Jon wanted to curl up in a ball and die, he did not need Theons sarcasm right now. “Theon, stop. Jon, what's wrong?” Robb put his hand on Jon’s back. “When I went to see my dad for lunch…he didn’t….he didn’t show up…” Jon started tearing up again. “Oh Jon…” Robbs tone was sympathetic and kind, he rubbed Jon’s back comfortingly. Theon rolled his eyes and groaned. “Oh poor baby Jon’s daddy was too busy to see him today, wah wah. God forbid someone not clear their entire schedule for you.” Theon mocked. Jon wanted to start sobbing all over again. Robb shot Theon a glare. “Jon, don’t listen to him, he doesn’t mean it.” Robb put his arm around Jon’s shoulder. “Yes I do. It’s not my fault Jon is too sensitive to handle criticism. He needs to deal with the fact that not everyone is going to coddle him. He needs to stop being a fucking baby.” Jon couldn’t take it. “Shut the fuck up, Theon! I’m so sick of your stupid voice and stupid words! Please just shut up, for once shut up!” Jon screamed at Theon. The room went silent, hot tears were falling from Jon's eyes. Jon rarely screamed, he was more of a quiet mad usually but today, today he couldn't take it. Maybe he usually could but not today. Jon noticed how Theon and Robb were looking at him. Theon looked surprised, not angry or smug like he usually was when tormenting Jon but surprised. Robb looked concerned and upset. ‘Is he upset at me or Theon?’ Jon thought. They all stared at each other for a few moments, Jon couldn’t take it. He couldn’t take it today, he didn’t want to deal with this, he was only supposed to be having lunch with Rhaegar, he wasn’t supposed to be fighting with his cousins. Jon felt as if he was going to pass out, he didn’t want this, he just wanted to disappear.

Jon took one more look at Robbs face and ran out of the room.

Jon ran down the stairs, passing Ned and Catelyn Jon ran out the front door. Jon thought he heard Catelyn shout something but he couldn’t hear it, he just kept running. He wasn’t sure where he was going but he knew that he wanted to be far away.

Chapter Text

Chapter six

Saturday 10:10 PM (same day as previous chapter)

Jon wasn’t sure how long he had been running, a few minutes, an hour, two hours? Everything was a mess, he was a mess. Jon’s face was wet with tears but he wasn’t crying anymore, he couldn’t cry anymore, his eyes were dry and red. They stung to the point it hurt to see which didn’t help his current situation. Jon hadn’t been paying attention to where he was going, he was just running and now that he had stopped he realized that he was in an unfamiliar environment. He was really upset but he couldn’t be too far…Right? At least he wasn’t alone, Ghost had followed him when he ran away. Jon picked up Ghost and kissed his head. “I’m sorry I got us lost, Ghost. I’m sure we’ll find our way back soon.” Jon spoke. Jon’s voice was dry and scratchy sounding. 

Jon continued walking through the unfamiliar area with Ghost up in his arms. Jon made sure to take note of the buildings around him to see if he recognized anything, he didn’t, but he was sure that there was no need to panic, he was sure he would be fine. Jon took a deep breath to try and get himself together. At least he had Ghost, Ghost would help, Ghost would keep him safe. Jon was beginning to wonder if he really did run for a long time, most of the stores in the area looked closed and a lot of the buildings he passed had the lights turned off. There also weren’t many people around, a few cars were driving by but that was about it. ‘I guess asking for directions is off the table…’

Jon had been walking for around thirty minutes and still didn’t recognize any of his surroundings, he was getting nervous, he was beginning to think that he made a horrible mistake. ‘Maybe I should just call uncle Ned or aunt Catelyn…I wonder if they’re mad at me?’ Jon hesitantly reached into his pocket to get his phone but upon feeling around there was nothing there but some gum and a little sharp rock that Jon had been carrying around for the last few weeks. He had found it on the ground and decided to keep it because he thought it looked cool. Jon felt his breath hitch when he realized that in his anger and sadness and distress he had forgotten to grab his phone before he left. “Fuck…” Jon swore under his breath. Jon felt his anxiety worsen, he couldn’t contact his family, he couldn’t call for help, he was lost and stuck. What could make this worse?

POV shift

“Six hours! Six hours Jon has been gone because you just had to tease him! What if he doesn’t come back?! What if he decided to run away?!” No one in the family had ever seen Theon look so full of shame, he was sitting on the living room couch being lectured by Catelyn. Robb was on the other side of the room trying to call Jon’s phone. Ned was in the kitchen calling various family members trying to see if any of them had seen Jon.

“I didn’t mean to…I didn’t think he’d run off like that…” Theon muttered while looking at his feet. “It doesn’t matter what you meant! It was needlessly cruel, did you honestly see your little cousin cry and get some sadistic urge to make it worse!?” Catelyn exclaimed, her voice was full of stress, anger and concern. “No…I…I didn’t mean to…” Theon couldn’t give a reason for saying those things, not one he could openly admit to, at least.

Catelyn looked like she was about to scream. Theon braced himself but instead she took a deep breath and turned to Robb. “Have you managed to get in contact with him?” Catelyn asked. Robb sadly shook his head. “No, the phone rings for thirty seconds then it goes to voicemail, Jon’s account isn’t even online.” Catelyn sighed. Catelyn was getting especially nervous because it had started raining. Jon might be stuck outside in the rain.

Catelyn remembered a few years ago, it must have been around nine years, maybe ten years, she was taking Robb to a playdate, Ned was at work, Sansa was at daycare and Csatelyn was pregnant with Arya. ‘Yes it must have been nine years ago, I remember being in my third trimester of pregnancy when this happened’ Catelyn thought. It had been a rainy day, cold day in autumn and without telling anyone, Lyanna had dropped off Jon and left. Lyanna had left a child who was barely four years old in the rain for three hours before Catelyn had come home. ‘He had gotten hypothermia from sitting in the freezing rain for so long.’ Catelyn had been surprised that CPS hadn’t taken Jon after that incident.

She walked into the kitchen and overheard Ned on the phone. “Thanks, Brandon…No, I haven’t talked to Lya yet….No, I’m going to call Benjen next….Maybe you should try calling her? Lya hasn’t been answering my calls since she dropped Jon off a few days ago…I’ll talk to you later, bye.” Ned hung up the phone. “I’ll take it that Jon isn’t with Brandon?” Catelyn walked over to Ned. “No, but he’s going to go around town in his car looking for Jon in case he’s not gone to far….I’m going to call Benjen next.” Ned replied. Catelyn looked Ned in the eyes for a few moments before saying. “No.” Catelyn took the phone from Ned and dialed Lyanna. “Cat, you know she won’t answer me.” Catelyn didn’t listen, she dialed Lyanna seven times before finally she got through. “Hello?...Ned I’m busy I-” Lyanna's tired voice spoke from the other end of the phone. “Where are you?” Catelyn questioned. There were a few seconds of silence on the other end of the phone, Catelyn honestly expected that Lyanna might hang up. “What?” Catelyn took a deep breath. “Where are you?” Catelyn repeated. “I’m busy….What do you want?” Lyanna was trying to avoid that question and Catelyn knew it. “Jon ran away six hours ago. Your child ran away six hours ago.” Another few moments of silence. “Why?...What did you do?” Lyanna asked. Catelyn nearly screamed at Lyanna. Ned must have seen the anger on Catelyn's face and he tried to take the phone but Catelyn gently but firmly swatted his hand away. “What did I do? Are you kidding me?! Lyanna, Jon has been falling apart for years at this point and you have the nerve to ask what I did?! Do you have any idea at all of what's going on with your son?!” Catelyn wasn’t screaming but her voice was firm and hints of anger were coming through. “Oh…I…I just checked my messages from Jon…I was busy when he texted me and I didn’t see them.” Catelyn knew what messages she was talking about. Ned had gone to check on Jon at one point after they came home and he told Catelyn that Jon had been on his phone practically spam texting Lyanna and he was still doing it when Ned left the room. Catelyn felt so angry knowing that for who knows how long Jon had been frantically texting Lyanna in a desperate attempt to get his mothers attention and comfort. “Lyanna, you need to get back here and stay. Now! Your child is falling apart, he’s run off and we don’t know where he is! He needs you, he needs his mother!” Catelyn was practically shaking as she spoke. Lyanna hung up. Catelyn's eyes widened, so did Ned’s. 

POV shift

Rain…rain made things a lot worse, rain was cold, uncomfortable, and inconvenient. Sure the sound of rain was nice, it was calming in a way but the feeling of rain? Jon hated that, he hadn’t even brought a hoodie, he was in a black long sleeve shirt and ripped jeans. The only warm thing he had was Ghost. Ghost hated the rain too. 

Jon remembered when he was little and his mother dropped him off at Ned and Catelyns house while it was raining, no one was home so one let him in, he didn’t remember it well but he caught hypothermia from being stuck outside so long. ‘It was so scary…but then mom came home when she found out I was in the hospital. She was crying a lot but she held me the entire time I was sick…and when I got better she didn’t leave for months. I remember when I got out of the hospital she let me sleep with her in her bed. She was always cuddling me and making sure I was okay…I love it when she holds me.’ Jon smiled as he thought about what had happened, sure he got hurt but it made Lyanna stay with him. Jon hoped she would get back soon, he hoped she would hold him again. “I miss mom…” Jon muttered, Ghost licked Jon’s face and he smiled. “I bet you miss her too, she always brings you back dog treats.” She brought Jon back things from her trips to, in winter she would bring him back snowglobes, a lot of the time she brought him back posters, candies that you could only get in certain places, spray paint for Jon to play around with. It always made Jon feel okay, it made him feel like she was thinking about him while she was gone, it made Jon feel special.

Jon was shaken from his thoughts by the sounds of thunder. Jon hugged Ghost closer to his chest. “Fuck…I need to find shelter…”

Chapter Text

Chapter seven

Sunday, 3:00 AM

Satin was getting worried, he had told all his friends, including Jon, about the movie night. He made sure to give everyone the right time, everyone showed up except Jon. Satin had texted and called Jon dozens of times but he never responded. All their friends had gone home by now but Satin couldn’t just go to bed. It wasn’t like Jon to ditch them, what if something bad happened? Satin once again left a message for Jon.

‘Hey, I’m sorry for spamming you but I’m really worried…’

Satin knew spamming was a bad habit but he just had this horrible feeling, he couldn’t help it. Satin stared at his phone for a moment before he saw Jons account go online. Satin grinned as the chat bubbles appeared.

Jon: So I’ll take it Jon isn’t at your house?

Satin felt his stomach drop, as if he was just punched.

Satin: No, who is this? Why do you have Jon’s phone?

Jon: It’s Theon, Jon kinda…ran away, we’ve been calling him and looking for him but I just found his phone in his bed so I guess he forgot to take it with him.

‘I knew it! I knew something was wrong, Jon would never ditch me like that, something bad happened and I knew it!’ Satin felt his breathing start quickening. 

Satin: Why did he run away? What happened? Do you have any idea where he is or if he’s okay?

Satin couldn’t believe this was happening, he knew Jon hadn’t exactly been in the best state lately but he didn’t think something like this would happen. Jon always maintained a certain put togetherness. Sure he was often a mess and upset but he always acted like he just shook everything off, at least in front of Satin and their friends he did….

Jon: It’s complicated…He had a really shitty day and when he got home I fucked up, I said some mean shit and he ran off. He’s been missing for around ten hours…

‘Ten hours? Ten fucking hours? My boyfriend has been missing for ten hours?!’ Satin wanted to scream in frustration, in concern, in fear…What if he was hurt or scared? There was a thunderstorm outside, what if he was freezing to death?!

Satin: I’m going to go look around for him, update me the moment you hear anything about him.

POV swap

Theon had just finished texting Satin as well as some of Jon’s other friends, they hadn’t seen him but they all said they would try and look for him. Theon was sitting on the beanbag next to Robbs bed, Robb was curled up in a ball in bed. Theon was pretty sure he was sleeping, his eyes were closed and his breathing was steady but he looked so sad, like all the happiness had been ripped from him. Theon hated it, Robb was his best friend, he was more of Theon’s brother then any one of Theon’s biological siblings had been. He remembered drunken Rodrik and mean Maron, how they cruelly teased him, sometimes even beat him. Theon loved his brothers because they were his but at the same time he truly hated them. He doesn’t hate them anymore, hating the dead is pointless, no matter how cruel and bitchy the dead were. Theon heard Robb sniffle in his sleep, he frowned, he put his hand on Robb’s head and patted him

Robb was nothing like Theon’s older brothers, given Robb was five years younger than Theon so it would be much harder for him to try and beat Theon. But Robb was sweet…All the little Starks were sweet, even Jon…Jon who Theon had made cry and run off. Theon truly did not mean to make him upset, he was frustrated and needed to take it out on someone. ‘If I knew what would have happened I would have shut up…fuck, I would have comforted the little whelp’ Theon thought. Theon heard voices coming from downstairs, two of them were Ned and Catelyns but there were a few more that he recognized as Robert Baratheon, Jon Arryn, and Howland Reed. 

Theon assumed that Ned was expanding the search for Jon, he only wished he had been allowed to look with them. Theon had tried to go out and look for Jon, but instead Catelyn had grounded him and sent him to his room. Theon had at first tried to argue back against the grounding saying that he was nineteen and should be able to do as he liked but Catelyn just scolded him and told that ‘If you want to be treated as an adult you should act like it!’ after that Theon had just gone to his room, but after a while he did sneak into Robb’s room, they had talked about everything, Robb was a bit mad at him at first but being the kind hearted person he quickly got over it. Theon had comforted Robb. After all he had failed at being an older cousin, he wasn’t going to fail at being an older brother, at least not in the same day. Robb had also wanted to look for Jon but Ned and Catelyn had sent all the kids to bed.. Theon’s eyes drifted from Robb to the window. ‘Maybe I don’t have to fail as a cousin…It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve climbed out a window, It’s pretty easy….fuck it, I’m gonna find the whelp.’ Theon stood up, gathered his phone, keys, boots and jacket. He considered taking Robb with him but he knew if he did and they couldn’t find Jon they would both be in trouble for sneaking out for nothing…though it would help to have another person with him. Theon took out his phone and texted Satin.

Theon: Hey Satin, I’m going out to look for Jon and I could use some help. Plus I have a car so you wouldn't have to walk everywhere.

Satin’s account immediately went online when Theon texted him and the chat bubbles appeared.

Satin: Sounds good, I’m at the coffee house near school, mind coming to pick me up?

Theon: On it.

Theon then pocketed his phone, put on his boots and jumped out the window, usually he tries to get a grip on the roof then scale down the walls but this time he fell. He luckily landed in the hedges which softened his impact on the ground but still hurt. “Fuck…I might have a bruise in the morning.” Theon muttered and got up, shaking the leaves off the hedge. He then snuck over to his car opened the door and got in, he turned on the car and started pulling out of the driveway when he heard “THEON QUENTON GREYJOY, GET BACK IN THIS HOUSE!!!” Theon cringed. ‘Fuck Catelyn must have heard me fall’ Theon slammed on the gas and pulled out of the driveway before speeding down the road all while listening to Catelyn screaming at him to come back. “I’m so dead when I get home.” Theon sighed. 

POV swap

Jon had wandered into a gas station store with Ghost still in his arms, he was hoping he could ask for someone to call Ned and Catelyn. “Hey kid, no dogs allowed!” the cashier barked. The cashier was a big angry looking man. Jon felt his chest tighten. “I..I’m sorry, I’m lost and I don’t know where I am and I don’t have my phone…” Jon sputtered out. “And this is my problem?” the cashier replied in a pissed off tone. “Well I was hoping I could use your phone to call home, I’ve been lost for a few hours and I’m sure my family is really worried…” Jon held Ghost tightly to his chest. “Listen kid, I’m not paid enough to deal with some preteen brat who wandered into a place he doesn’t belong, fuck off!” The cashier yelled. Ghost growled at the cashier and Jon quickly left the gas station. Jon felt like curling up into a ball and dying. “I just wanna go home…” Ghost licked Jon’s cheek as he began tearing up. It felt like his world was caving in on his head, he couldn’t breathe right, his brain was screaming at him. He hated himself for running away. ‘I’m so stupid, I shouldn't have ran. I was dumb and upset and now I’m alone…what if I never find my way home?...what if I get kidnapped or killed?...’ Jon’s heart started beating painfully, his breathing became low and shallow and he started shaking. He lowered himself onto the concrete and started hugging his knees. His vision became blurry and unfocused…his ears were ringing… he felt as if his head was being hit with a hammer continuously. ‘I want my mama…’ Jon thought as hot tears flowed down his face,his eyes were like an ocean of sadness spilling out onto him. He heard Ghost whimpering, he wrapped his shaky arms around Ghost and started sobbing into Ghost's fur. 

“It’ll be okay…It has to be okay...please let it be okay…” Jon’s voice cracked and failed as he tried to comfort himself and Ghost.

Chapter Text

Chapter eight

Sunday 4:00 AM

“Okay, where do you and Jon and your other weirdo friends hang out?” Theon asked as Satin stepped into the car. “Excuse me?” Satin replied and narrowed his eyes. “You heard me, where does Jon and the loser club usually hang out?” Theon started driving before Satin even had time to buckle up. “And here I thought you would be less of an asshole than usual since we were looking for Jon….” Satin huffed. Satin did not exactly like Theon, no one in Jon’s friend group did because everytime they encountered him Theon would bully and tease them all. Satin had hoped that because of the circumstances Theon would act like a decent human being but apparently that was too much to ask. “Whatever, just tell me where you guys hang out.” Satin thought for a moment. “Well…the movie theater with the old arcade, we sometimes go there on weekends, there's ‘Wild-Thangs…” Theon blinked in a confused way. “Wild-Thangs? The fuck is that?” Satin smiled awkwardly. “It’s a tattoo parlor, Jon’s friends with some of the guys who run it so they sometimes pay him to bring them coffee or go refill their supplies…It’s actually a pretty good place to check, I was about to go down there myself when you texted me.” Theon gave Satin a ‘are you serious’ look. “Jon works at a weirdly named tattoo parlor getting coffee for people and refilling tattoo supplies?...I don’t think it’s legal for fourteen year olds to do that.” Satin shrugged. “You know what else isn’t legal? Selling weed to highschoolers. Don’t be a hypocrite, just drive.” Theon flipped Satin off but put his foot on the gas.

POV switch

4:27 AM

Robb was sitting in his room, he couldn’t believe this. ‘First Jon runs off, now Theon too?!’ Robb had been sleeping when he heard a thud followed quickly by Catelyn screaming and a car driving away. Apparently Theon jumped out a window and ran off without telling anyone beforehand, but then again what could you expect from Theon? Robb loved his big brother but he knew Theon too well to expect anything other than chaos from him. Robb had wanted to go after Theon but Ned and Catelyn wanted all the kids to stay inside so Robb being a dutiful son stayed. Not that he was happy about it, Theon and Jon were his best friends, he wanted to find them and make sure they were safe. ‘If I called him would Theon pick up or would he ignore me?’ Robb picked up his phone and dialed Theon. After a few seconds of ringing Theon picked up. “Theon, are you okay? Mom and dad are so worried, fuck I was worried!” Robb heard a chuckle from Theon. “Yeah, that was my bad, but don’t worry. I’m fine, I’m looking for Jon, I teamed up with one of his weirdo friends.” Robb heard a faint but clear voice saying in a texan accent ‘Fuck you’ from the other end of the phone. Robb recognized the voice as belonging to Satin. “Still, dick move to run off like that….I don’t suppose you’ve found Jon yet?” Robb asked. Theon sighed. “No, we’re searching Jon’s usual hangouts but we haven’t found him…mildly off topic did you know Jon has a job at ‘Wild-Thangs’?” Robb paused for a few seconds. “What in the sevens panty hose is ‘Wild-Thangs’?” Robb knew Jon usually had money, at least enough to pay for weed, but he didn’t know he had a job. “Yeah apparently Jon works at a shitty run down tattoo parlor called ‘Wild-Thangs’, I’m looking at the place now, I’m about 99% sure something illegal is going on here and we need to check on Jon more often.” Theon replied. “...I have questions…but I’m not gonna ask them because I don’t think I want to know.” Robb heard a deep voice yelling something in what seemed to be Norwegian, he then overheard Satin's muffled voice. “Is someone screaming at you in Norwegian?” Robb asked. “Yeah, Satin said that’s Jon supervisor or some shit. And technically he’s not yelling at me, he’s yelling at another dude who works here. Satin’s talking to them, I don’t know what they’re saying but Satin seems to.” Robb then heard footsteps then Satin's muffled voice again. “Gotta go, Robb, the angry little twink demands it, OW FUCK YOU SATIN!” Theon yelped. “What happened?” Robb questioned. “Little shit punched me! I gotta go beat the little brat, talk to you later.” Theon hung up. 

Robb let out a deep tired sigh. “Idiot….”

POV swap

4:40 AM

“I can’t believe this, Lysa, two children ran away in less than a day. I feel like a horrible mother.” Catelyn's fist was clenched. “Cat, you aren’t a horrible mother. After all, none of the kids you birthed ran away.” Lysa attempted to comfort Catelyn. ‘Lysa that doesn’t help! Me and Ned are supposed to take care of those boys, they might as well be mine!’ Catelyn thought but didn’t vocalize those thoughts. “Lysa, Theon is my foster son, Jon’s my nephew. It doesn’t matter if they aren’t mine by blood, I still need to take care of them.” Catelyn heard Lysa sigh from the other side of the phone. “Fine, but still not your fault. Jon’s mother is the one at fault. I knew the moment I met Lyanna she was a bad mother, I mean what do you expect from having a baby that young. And Theon is just a plain bad egg, you tried to raise him right but he’s always been bad, It’s no surprise considering his family's background.” Catelyn felt her hands ball into fists. Catelyn was frustrated with Theon but she loved him as her own, he wasn’t bad, he was troubled. A troubled boy who had been hurt at such a young age. “Lysa, I need to do something, call me if you hear anything.” Catelyn hung up before Lysa could even respond. She just sat down for a few minutes, two of her boys gone. Her most vulnerable boys gone. Catelyn had called everyone, Neds brothers were all driving around town looking for Jon, and now Theon, Lyanna was being no help, neither was Lysa. Catelyn had gotten in contact with everyone who she thought could help…except… ‘No, not him. He’s one of the people who caused this…but Jon might have gone to him, it wouldn’t be the first time he had sought out his father in a fragile state…’ Catelyn took a deep breath, found his contact and dialed Rhaegar. The phone rung for a few minutes and then finally someone answered the phone. “Hello, this is Jon Connington, Mister Rhaegar is currently busy but leave a message and I’ll deliver it at the next convenient time.” Catelyn recognized Jon Connington as the man who Ned had told her had answered when he called Rhaegar. “This is Catelyn Stark. This is urgent, I need to talk to Rhaegar, now!” Catelyn replied sternly. “Mrs Stark, Rhaegars a busy man, I can’t just-” Catelyn cut him off. “Get Rhaegar on the phone or I will personally pay him a visit! This is urgent, it’s about his son!” There was a pause on the other side of the phone. “Hello!?” Catelyn heard faint talking then after a few seconds Catelyn heard. “Hello, Mrs Stark. What can I help you with?” A monotone voice that Catelyn loathed. “Rhaegar, we need to talk. Jon, your son has run away from home!” Catelyn explained. “Oh…Why are you calling me?” Rhaegar asked, there was no hint of concern in his voice. Catelyn felt ready to scream. “He is your son.” Catelyn spoke through gritted teeth. “I’m aware but he lives with Lyanna, if he runs away he’s Lyanna's responsibility.” Catelyn felt herself start shaking with rage. “He is your child! You made him! Are you not concerned that he’s runaway!?” ‘Please, please, care about him, he needs you. He might come home if he finds out you’re looking for him, please.’ Catelyn mentally begged. “I’m sure he’s fine. He’s grown by now.” Rhaegar seemed completely disinterested. “He’s fourteen! A child, he’s been gone since yesterday afternoon, care about your child!” Catelyn snapped. “oh…I thought he was older….regardless, I’m sure he’s fine, teenagers are teenagers.” Catelyn felt so much hate for this man, he couldn’t even pretend he loved his son. “If anything happens to him I am holding you personally responsible! You are no father, you are a spineless, cruel, disgusting man!” Rhaegar hung up.

POV swap

5:36 AM

Jon was sitting on the edge of a bridge overlooking a large river, Ghost was lying across Jon’s lap. Jon had spent who knows how long trailing around trying to find his way home, he was tired, cold, and just wanted to go home, he was tired so he had sat down on the bridge. ‘Maybe if a car drives by I can try hitchhiking, I know aunt Cat told me not to hitchhike but I’m desperate. It’s okay to break the rule if it’s an emergency, right?’ Jon gave Ghost a pat on the head. “Don’t worry, Ghost, I’m sure we’ll find a way home soon.” Jon forced himself to smile despite his muscles in his face hurting. Ghost yawned and closed his eyes. “You’re lucky, you can sleep anywhere…” Jon paused. “I can sleep anywhere, sure it isn’t comfortable but I haven’t slept since yesterday morning…That might even be over twenty-four hours since the sun is rising now…” Jon thought about it for a few seconds before laying his head back and closing his eyes, within seconds he was asleep.

6:23 AM

“Jon!” Jon woke up as he felt arms wrap around him. He opened his eyes and saw. “Theon?” Jon felt relief flood through him, none of what happened mattered, Jon was just happy to see someone. “Are you okay?! Are you hurt!?” Theon held Jon tightly, it was nearly painful. Jon hugged Theon back. “Theon! I’ve never been happier to see you!” Jon felt like crying. Theon looked Jon over. “Are you hurt?” Theon asked. “Not just a bit cold…” Jon replied. Jon noticed that Theon had a bruised left eye and busted nose, some blood was dried around his nostril. “Thank fuck…” Theon breathed out in relief. Theon smiled for a brief second before a look of anger appeared on his face. “You absolute dumbass! Do you know how worried I was, how worried everyone else is! We have a fucking manhunt going on for you!” Theon ranted. Before Jon could reply Jon heard a familiar voice with a Texan accent yell. “Theon, be nice or I’ll smack the living shit out of you again!” Jon turned and saw Satin standing behind them with his arms crossed. “Satin!” Jon shot up and wrapped Satin in a hug, Satin immediately hugged back. “Jon, are you okay? I was so worried about you.” Satin pressed a kiss onto Jon’s lips. Jon flushed pink, out of the corner of his eye Jon saw Theon give a look of surprise. “Yeah, I’m fine…How did you guys find me? I’ve been wandering for hours and I couldn’t even figure out where I was.” Jon questioned. “We searched all your regular hangouts, we couldn’t find you in those places so we just drove. We eventually drove into Cherrywood and found you.” Theon replied. Jon’s eyes widened, Cherrywood was two towns over from their town. “I went a lot farther than I thought…” Jon sheepishly responded. “We should get you home.” Satin caressed Jon’s face. Jon nodded in agreement. “Yeah but uh…first, Satin, I wanna talk to Jon privately, do you mind screwing off for a few seconds?” Satin glared at Theon then looked at Jon. “I guess…I’ll wait in the car, yell if you need me…” Satin hesitantly walked back into the car. Once Satin was out of earshot. “You know, I usually don’t regret anything but…I am sorry for what I said, I was a bitch. You were upset, I made it way worse and I made you run away and I’m really sorry.” Jon was a bit shocked, Theon didn’t apologize for anything. “Wow…I wasn’t expecting that.” Theon sighed. “Yeah, I know. I’m a bitch but I genuinely didn’t mean to hurt you. You’re my friend, my cousin. I’m really sorry.” Theon ran his fingers through his hair. “Well you might want to work on your people skills if that was you not trying to hurt me.” Jon couldn’t help but give Theon a bit of crap for what he said, Jon felt it was a warranted reply. “I know, I know…It’s just you were complaining so much about your dad and I…I got jealous.” Jon was baffled. “Jealous? My dad ditched me, why would you be jealous?!” Theon took a deep breath. “I thought you were just lucky to see your dad. I haven’t seen my dad since I was ten. Sure your dads an ass but at least you still see him! And watching you talk about not getting enough time with him just set something off in me…I’m sorry.” Theon had started to tear up. Jon frowned. ‘No wonder he was so upset.’ Jon often forgot that Theon had a different family he was born into, one he was taken from. Jon gave Theon a tight hug. Theon tensed up. “I’m sorry you’re still hurting.” Theons tears ran down his cheeks. “I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you, you didn’t do anything.” Theon wrapped his arms around Jon. “It’s okay, I forgive you.” Jon sniffled as tears welled up in his eyes. 

For a few minutes they just stood there, holding each other while they cried. “We should probably go home, everyones worried about you and I’m sure I’ll get an ass whooping.” they released each other from the hug. Jon let out a quiet laugh. “Yeah and I want to go home and collapse on the couch.” Theon smiled. “Yeah, that makes two of us. I am seriously done with existing today.” Theon wrapped an arm around Jon’s shoulder and they walked over to the car.

Chapter Text

Chapter nine

7:58 AM

Satin and Jon were lying in the back seat of Theon’s car, both hadn’t gotten much sleep so they were resting. Their foreheads were pressed together, Jon had his arms wrapped around Satin’s chest, and Satin had his arms around Jon’s neck. Both their eyes looked like they were about to close but they kept looking at each other with a soft, tender, look. Ghost was lying on Satin's shoulder. ‘Adding this to my list of things to tell Robb later.’ Theon thought as he looked at them through the rear-view mirror. “Hey, we’re gonna be home soon so I wouldn’t get too comfortable, aye?” Theon didn’t think it would be a good idea if Jon and Satin were on top of each other when they got home. Jon tiredly nodded, Jon and Satin got off each other but kept their hands together. Satin put Ghost on his lap. “I can’t wait to get home, I’m so tired. I want to bury myself in my bed.” Satin smiled. “I can tell, you looked wrecked darling.” Satin pressed a kiss to Jon’s cheek. Jon looked like a blood vessel had burst in his face with how red he was. Theon snorted. “So Jon, got something to tell me about you and pretty boy.” Satin rolled his eyes and Jon huffed. “I have nothing you need to know about.” Theon turned his head and gave Jon a look. “Really now?” Jon leaned forward and lightly smacked Theon on top of the head. “Keep your eyes on the road.” Theon turned back to look at the road. “At least you didn’t punch me, unlike a certain little bitch.” Satin took off one of his sneakers and threw it at the back of Theons head. “Ow! Fuck you, Garcia!” Satin flipped Theon off. Jon started giggling. “Really? In the car, you guys are gonna make us crash.” Theon scoffed. “You doubt my driving abilities? How rude…plus we’re home.” Theon pulled into the house's driveway. 

Catelyn and Ned were standing outside of the front door. As soon as the car parked they both ran over. Theon, Jon and Satin stepped out of the car. Catelyn put her arms around both Jon and Theon. Jon hugged back while Theon looked a bit shocked. “Thank god you're both okay…” Catelyn muttered. Ned joined in the hug. “Neither of you are ever allowed to run off like that again, we were worried. You both could have been hurt.” Ned tightened his grip on them. “I’m sorry for running off, I wasn’t thinking.” Jon apologized, his voice was full of shame. “Jon, you shouldn’t have run off like that…But we aren’t angry, just concerned. We’ll need to have a talk later, but worry not, you aren't in trouble.” Catelyn put a hand on Jon’s cheek. Jon nodded. “I’m sorry too…I was cruel, and mean…Punish me however you like.” Theon looked away, avoiding eye contact. Ned and Catelyn exchanged a look then nodded at each other. “Theon, your punishment will be helping Cat pack lunches in the morning and coming to help me at work…And later we will have a talk.” Theon looked confused, he was expecting much worse. “Go inside, you both look like you need some rest.” Jon and Theon nodded and both went inside. Satin, who was holding Ghost, followed after them. As soon as they went in they were both tackled by Robb in a hug. “Holy shit!” Robb squeezed them. “I was so worried about you both, you guys aren’t hurt right?” Robb had tears in his eyes. Theon sighed. “Don’t worry, we’re fine.” Jon smiled and rested his head on Robb's shoulder. “Thank fuck…” Robb leaned his head against Jons and put a hand on Theons cheek. “You two are never allowed to make me worry like that ever again.” Robb muttered. “Yeah, we know, Cat and Ned already told us.” Theon replied. “Good.”

8:30 AM

Since Jon, Theon, Satin and Robb had gotten barely any sleep last night they had all decided to take a nap in Robb and Jon’s room. Jon and Satin were wrapped around each other, Robb was next to them with a hand on Jon’s arm and Theon was lying on top of Robb and snoring loudly. Ghost was sleeping on Jon’s stomach. Jon was smiling at his little cuddle pile. ‘This is nice, It’s been awhile since something like this happened’ Jon heard a beep coming from under his pillow, he reached under it and pulled out his phone. ‘So this is where I left it. Jon saw dozens of text notifications, some from Robb, Theon and Satin but there were around thirty from Lyanna. Jon’s eyes widened.

From saturday at 10:30 PM

Lyanna: Jon, honey, are you okay?!

Lyanna: Catelyn told me you ran away, please go back! I’m sorry for not answering your texts, I love you honey, please go back!

Lyanna: Jon’ I know you're upset but please, we can talk! Once I get back I’ll take you wherever you want, we can go see a movie or get ice cream. Come on, sweetheart, I’m really worried.

From saturday at 11:00 PM 

Mom: Jon please, you know I love you. Your dad was being mean but that doesn’t mean you have to run away.

Mom: I promise once I get back I’ll give him shit and make him spend time with you!

From this morning at 1:30 AM

Mom: please go back to Neds house

Mom: please

Mom: please

Mom: please

Mom: please

The massages just went on with Lyanna begging Jon to come back. Jon started tearing up. Jon quickly typed a response.

Jon: Mom, I’m sorry I didn’t have my phone. I'm home now, It’s okay I’m fine!

After a few minutes Lyanna texted back.

Mom: Jon, Thank god! You have no idea how much you scared me! Are you hurt, safe?

Jon: I’m sorry, I was just really upset and I did something stupid ):

Mom: It’s okay, It's okay…I’m just glad you’re okay.

Jon: Are you okay?

Mom: Besides the heart attack you gave me? I’m fine.

Jon: I’m sorry, mom…

Mom: Don’t be, I was your age once. I did everything. Partying, dating, drinking, running away, getting pregnant. 

Jon cringed at the last part, he knew his mother got pregnant with him when she was young but he felt odd about how she placed ‘getting pregnant’ in that sentence, like he was just the last of a long list of mistakes his mother made. He obviously knew he wasn’t planned but he still felt a jab at his heart.

Mom: What are you doing now?

Jon: I’m lying down with Robb, Theon and Satin. We all didn’t sleep much last night so we’re just relaxing.

Mom: That’s good, naps after long days are always the best. Speaking of which I think I’m going to let you nap, you need it. Love you, kid ❤️

Jon: love you to, mama ❤️

Jon smiled and put his phone back down, cuddling into Satin's side.

Monday 12:30 PM

Jon was sitting at the dining table with his cousins, they were eating lunch. Theon and Robb were messing around with each other, poking each other, trying to steal bits of the other's food while they weren’t looking. Sansa was on her phone texting one of her friends, and baby Rickon was making a mess of his applesauce. Jon had Arya and Bran latched onto him. Ever since he had come back they had been glued to his side, just in case. Usually they would all be at school right now but due to the chaos of the previous two days Ned and Catelyn had decided that the best thing to do was to give everyone a day to decompress and to stay home. Even Ned had taken a day off work. “I was thinking after lunch we should play mario kart.” Arya spoke with a mouth full of bacon. “Ew Arya, close your mouth!” Sansa scolded. “Oh shut up.” Arya kicked Sansas leg. “Ow! Keep your dirty feet away from me!” Sansa kicked Arya back. “Both of you, stop fighting.” Robb tried to calm the girls down. “Hush up Robb!” Both said at once. Robb sighed. Theon rolled his eyes. “Typical girls.” Sansa and Arya turned to Theon and gave him a death glare. Arya picked up the scrambled egg on her plate and threw it straight at Theon, hitting him on the nose. Arya and Sansa burst into giggles as well as the rest of the table and Theon shrieked. “Little brats! I swear to fuck I’m going to throw you-” Theon was cut off as Ned entered the room. “Everyone calm yourselves, this is supposed to be a quiet day.” Theon huffed and crossed his arms, Sansa and Arya stuck their tongue out at Theon.

Pov switch

1:00 PM (right after lunch)

Catelyn was doing dishes when she heard a knock at the front door, she walked over to it, she opened it. Her eyes widened as she saw who it was. “Lyanna?” Lyanna smiled. “Hi Cat.” Lyanna walked past Catelyn into the house. “What are you doing here?” Catelyn asked. “Isn't it obvious? I’m here for my kid, where is he?” Lyanna looked towards the stairs and looked like she was about to go up them when Catelyn grabbed her arm. “Where have you been?” Lyanna looked surprised for a moment. “I was at a hotel in the Reach.” Catelyn’s eyes narrowed. “While your son was having a breakdown you were at a hotel in the Reach?” Lyanna looked away. “Listen, I’ll admit I wish I was here but how could I have known something like this would happen? Jon’s always been so good on his own, he’s usually so calm and leveled.” Catelyn gritted her teeth. Lyanna, this was inevitable. You’ve been randomly leaving Jon, dropping him off with us, since he was born. You think that wouldn’t have any lasting effects? Combine your absent parenting with Rhaegar's utter failure as a father and you have a child who’s holding on by a thread that can be snapped at a moment's notice with the right push. It’s a miracle he’s held on this long.” Lyanna frowned. “Catelyn, with all due respect Jon is my kid and you criticize how I raise him.” Catelyn balled her hands into fists. “Raise him? You barely raise him. You stay for a few weeks then once you get bored you leave him with us for anywhere from a few days to a few months. He’s a child, not a toy that you can leave whenever you want!” Catelyn snapped. Before Lyanna could respond they heard footsteps running down the stairs. Catelyn turned and saw Jon. his eyes lit up upon seeing Lyanna. “Mom!” Jon rushed towards Lyanna, hugging her. “Mom, I missed you so much, I missed you!” Jon started tearing up. Lyanna hugged him back. “Hey buddy, I missed you too. After we talked yesterday I caught the earliest flight back here possible to see you.” Jon beamed as Lyanna spoke. “Thank you, I’m so glad you're back!” Catelyn felt a pang in her heart. Jon was always so excited, so happy when Lyanna returned. “Ned! Come in here, your sisters back!” Catelyn called out. Quick footsteps were heard as Ned entered. “Lya?” Ned looked almost shocked. “Hey Ned. Miss me?” Lyanna ran a hand through Jon’s hair as he clung to her. “Yeah…When did you get back?” Ned raised an eyebrow. An hour ago, I got here as soon as possible, had to see my favorite kid after all.” It seemed that with every word Lyanna spoke the more gleeful Jon became. “Okay. Lya, I think we need to talk.” Ned sighed. “Mhm, later Ned, I have plans for me and Jon first. Who’s excited to see the new dead pool movie?” Lyanna took two movie tickets out of her pocket. Jon grinned. “I am!” Catelyn’s frown deepened. ‘As usual Lyanna comes back and does a bunch of things to ‘make up’ for her absence’ Ned took a deep breath. “Lyanna I really think-” Ned was cut off. “And what would a movie trip be with snacks? we should get ice cream before the movie to, I heard there's a cool new ice cream shop that opened, we should go.” Jon nodded excitedly. “Yeah! I’ll go get my stuff.” Lyanna shook her head. “We’ll swing by here later to get it, lets just go now.” Lyanna moved Jon’s hair out of his face. “Okay, mom. Bye uncle Ned, bye aunt Cat.” Lyanna grabbed Jon’s hand and dragged him out the door but not before quickly shooting Catelyn a glare.

Ned and Catelyn just stood there for a few seconds. “I have a bad feeling.” Ned nodded in agreement. “So do I…”

Chapter Text

Chapter ten

5:20 PM, same day as the last chapter.

Jon and Lyanna walked out of the movie theater after seeing the new Deadpool movie. Lyanna was holding Jon’s hand. “That was awesome!” Jon beamed. Lyanna chuckled. “It was pretty damn cool. I told you we would have fun. And to think the day isn’t even over.” Jon hugged Lyanna. “Thanks mom, I really missed you.” Lyanna paused before leaning forward and kissing Jon’s head. “I missed you too, I wish I could spend all my time with you but the places I go are for grownups…You understand that right?” Lyanna asked, there was a flicker of what seemed like concern for a moment. “Yeah…of course mom, I know you can’t take me everywhere. Assuming that would be stupid.” Despite Jon’s reassurance towards Lyanna he did actually wish he could be with her more, he missed her all the time. Lyanna ruffled Jon’s hair. “That’s my favorite kid, you're a tough little cookie. You can handle being alone for a while.” Jon nodded. Lyanna breathed what seemed to be a sigh of relief. “Mom, are you okay?” Jon’s brow furrowed. “I’m fine, bud, I just…I kinda feel like a bad mom. I mean you ran away, I kinda feel like it might be my fault.” Jon’s eyes widened. “Mom no, you’re a great mom. I love you. Running away was a really stupid thing I did, I wasn’t thinking. Please don’t feel bad.” Jon felt horrible. ‘I didn’t mean to make mom feel bad.’ Lyanna pushed the hair out of Jon’s face. “Really? Because it seems like everyone blames me, ya know Cat said some things to me and it made me feel a bit bad, like I wasn’t giving you enough attention.” Lyanna started tearing up. Jon tightened his hug on Lyanna. “No, no, no, you’re the best mom ever! Aunt Catelyn was probably just stressed so she said something bad, nothing I did was your fault. I’m just stupid!” Lyanna took a deep breath and wiped her tears. “You’re such a sweet little guy.” Jon smiled. “Thanks mom…” Jon just wanted to stay with her, he didn’t want her sad, he wanted her happy and with him.

“You know, I got you a present while I was in the Reach. It’s in the car, wanna go see it?” Jon excitedly walked towards the car. “Heck yeah!” Lyanna walked to the trunk and opened it. There was a blue wrapped box, it had a white bow on it and was about the size of a shoe box. Jon picked it up and carefully opened it. There were two stuffed wolves, one was a gray mama wolf, the other was a white baby wolf. The wolves were cuddled against each other. “You like them?” Jon hugged them to his chest. “I love them so much.” Lyanna grinned and patted Jon’s head. 

11:46 PM

Jon and Lyanna had briefly gone back to the Stark house to get Jons clothing and Ghost but Lyanna waited outside, she didn’t want to deal with more of Neds and Cats criticism. Now Jon, Ghost and Lyanna were curled up on the couch in their apartment playing mario kart. Jon cheered as his character passed the finish line. “And I win!” Jon spoke triumphantly. Lyanna rolled her eyes. “Only because I let you win.” Jon shook his head. “No, I’m just better at this than you.” she snickered. “Please kid, I’ve been playing this since before you were born.” Jon tilted his head. “And yet you still suck at it.” Jon playfully stuck his tongue out. Lyanna let out a fake offended sound. “How did I raise such a disrespectful kid?” she lightly shoved Jon’s arm. Lyanna's light gray eyes noticed the time. “Oh shit, it’s nearly twelve. Cry-Baby is gonna be on soon, go change into your pj’s, I’ll make the popcorn and get the sodas out.” Jon quickly ran into his room and Lyanna bolted into the kitchen. She took out the popcorn maker and the popcorn kernels. She turned on the popcorn maker and was about to grab the sodas when her phone rang. She hoped to god that it wasn’t Catelyn or Ned. she looked at the caller ID and let out a breath of relief. “Hi Brandon.” Lyanna always appreciated her talks with Brandon more than her ones with Ned. While she loved both her brothers Brandon and her shared more, they were both wild, they had a love for travel and adventure, unlike Ned who was oh so serious and responsible. “Hey Lya, how are you doing?” Brandon asked. “I’m good, me and the kid are getting ready to watch Cry-Baby, I'm getting the popcorn ready.” there was a brief pause. “How’s he doing?” Lyanna groaned. “He’s fine, not hurt or anything.” she knew everyone was concerned but she didn’t want to talk about it, ‘Jon is usually fine on his own, how was I supposed to know that this one time he wouldn’t be?’ Lyanna just wanted everything to be okay and for her and Jon to have a good time, was that too much to ask? “I know he’s not hurt, Ned called me after Jon came back, but how's he acting? Is he okay in the head? I mean running away is a big reaction, it usually takes a lot to fuel something like that.” Lyanna knew that, as much as she hated to know that she did, she ran away when she was just a bit older than Jon, and she came home with a baby. “He’s fine….he explained it, he just wasn’t thinking, it wasn’t intentional. He’s fine…” Lyanna assured Brandon. “If you say so…Hey you got any plans for partying?” Lyanna smiled at the seeming change in conversation. “I’m planning on just chilling with the kid for a week or two but after that maybe. I heard about this really cool bar in the crownlands, it’s a bar in a skyscraper like five hundred feet in the sky and it rotates. It sounds awesome, we should go soon, maybe we could even rope Benjen into coming.” Lyanna replied. “That sounds great…but Lya, maybe you should stay in town a bit longer than two weeks…I mean what about Jon? Kid broke down, I just heard the details of it through Ned and Cat and even I could tell it was bad…” Lyanna’s smile immediately fell. “Brandon, don’t…I already have Ned and Catelyn bitching, I don’t need you to do it too.” Brandon let out a deep sigh. “Lyanna, I know you don’t like being told what to do but you're his mother, you need to make sure something like this doesn’t happen again.” Lyanna clenched her fist. “I know I’m his mother, I do my best Brandon, what do you expect me to do? Give up my entire life to be a mother? Have nothing for myself? Rhaegar didn’t have to give everything up, why should I?” Lyanna heard a sound of anger and disgust from Brandon at the mention of Rhaegar. “Rhaegar’s a scumbag who abandoned you and Jon, of course he didn't have to give anything up! Lyanna, I’m sorry, I know being in your position is hard but you are Jon’s mother, sacrifice is necessary when raising a kid.” Lyanna felt angry tears forming in her eyes. “Fuck you, Brandon, you don’t even have a kid yet somehow you have the nerve to tell me how to mother my kid!” Lyanna hung up and tossed her phone into the corner of the room. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a flask, chugging the bitter liquid inside. Lyanna smelt burning, she turned and saw the popcorn burning. “Fuck…” She quickly turned off the popcorn maker. She dumped the popcorn into a bowl and poured some butter and salt on it. She grabbed a soda from the fridge and walked into the living room. 

Jon was sitting on the couch in his black pjs with the skull pattern, he had Ghost in his lap. “Quick mom, it’s starting in like a minute.” Lyanna faintly smiled, she plopped down next to Jon and put the bowl of popcorn in Jon’s lap and gave him the soda. “It’s part time.” Lyanna took another sip from her flask as she changed to the channel Cry-Baby was one. Jon gave her a look, it wasn’t one of surprise or sadness or anything really. Jon knew she drank, it wasn’t anything new. “Something wrong?” Lyanna raised an eyebrow. “No, I dunno…I just didn’t think you were gonna drink tonight…I thought we were just gonna have fun…” Jon muttered. “There's nothing wrong with drinking, drinking is fun. In fact, why don’t you have some?” Lyanna handed Jon her flask. “But…I thought drinking was bad.” Lyanna scoffed. “According to Ned and Cat, sure, but when I was your age I was stealing six packs of beer from Brandon. A few drinks won’t hurt. Plus I know Theon gives you weed, if weed isn't bad why be wary of beer? Plus, I’ll be watching you so you won’t get hurt.” Jon thought for a few moments. “That makes sense, I guess.” Jon hesitantly took a drink from the flask, he gagged but forced himself to swallow. “It tastes kinda bad.” Lyanna chuckled. “It tastes bad until you drink enough, then it’s like medicine for the soul.”

Pov switch

11:55 PM

“Thanks for trying to get through to her, Brandon. God knows she doesn’t listen to me.”  Brandon patted Ned’s shoulder. “Yeah, I just wish she listened to me more too…I’m worried, I know Lyanna loves Jon but the kid needs more stability, being tossed between you and Lya just isn’t healthy. It’s no wonder he broke.” Ned frowned. “Tell me about it…Don’t mention this to Lya or Jon, gods especially not Jon, but Catelyn suggested that we try to get Lyanna to give us custody of Jon, she thinks it would be better if Jon actually had a permanent routine and a stable living situation, Lyanna would still see him when she’s around but she wouldn’t be taking him for long periods of time and then suddenly leaving. But I’m honestly not sure…” Ned rubbed his temples. Brandon’s eyes widened. “Ned…I’m not sure if that would work. You know how much Jon loves Lya, he would be destroyed if he thought you were taking him away from her. And Lya? She will fight you as hard as she can, and we both know she can fight hard…you remember her teenage years as well as I do.” Ned nodded, he seemed so tired. “I know…I don’t know what to do, I just don’t…” It looked to Brandon like Ned might break down. Brandon wrapped an arm around Ned’s shoulder. “We’ll figure something out soon, I promise.”

Chapter Text

Chapter eleven

Tuesday 6:00 AM (day after last chapter)

He awoke to the blaring sound of the alarm, with a groan Griff rolled out of bed and hit his alarm, turning it off. He slowly opened his eyes, his vision was slightly obstructed by his blue bangs that hung over his face. Griff blew his bangs out of his face allowing the bright sun coming from the windows to burn his purple eyes. He stood up and walked over to his dresser, grabbing his hairbrush and running it through the knotted rats nest on his head. Afterwards he put a hair clip in his bangs to keep them out of his eyes. “Honey! Come down, you need to eat breakfast now so you can catch the bus!” his mother, Elia, yelled from the other room. “Coming! Just gotta put on my uniform!”

Griff walked downstairs and saw his mother, Elia, was sitting at the table, it was set with two bowls of fruit salad. “Good morning, mom. Is Rhae up yet?” Griff asked and sat down in front of one of the bowls. “Good morning. Yes, but she left already. She wanted to go to the library with Willas before her classes.” Elia replied. “Oh, she was supposed to drive me to school.” Griff stabbed a strawberry with his fork and shoved it in his mouth. “I’ll drive you.” Elia sipped her cup of tea. “Thanks, mama.” Griff smiled but it quickly fell as he heard the door of Rhaegar’s study open, Rhaegar approached Elia and coldly kissed her cheek. “Good morning, darling.” Griff knew Rhaegar's words were devoid of substance, everyone knew. “Good morning, honey.” Elia at least put up a front, a loving tone, Rhaegar couldn’t even bother to try and make his gestures look real. Rhaegar noticed and turned to him. “Good morning, Aegon.” Griff scowled. “For the last time, It’s Griff.” Griff had changed his name nearly two years ago and everyone except his father had accepted that. Rhaegar gave him a look of disappointment, it was subtle but Griff took a bit of delight in it, any inconvenience he could cause Rhaegar was a win. Rhaegar looked like he was about to say something when Jon Connington entered. “Rhaegar, you have a call.” Rhaegar gave Connington a look. “Can you handle it? I’m trying to have breakfast.” Rhaegar tried to brush off Connington. “It’s from Lyanna Stark.” Griff clenched his fists, he had never met Lyanna Stark, he had barely met her son, his half-brother, but he hated her. All he was ever told about Lyanna was that she had been Rhaegar's mistress who he had promptly ditched after getting her pregnant. Griff knew nothing else but he hated her, she contributed to destroying his parents marriage and breaking his mothers heart. “Give me the phone.” Rhaegar took the phone from Connington and left the room.

POV switch

Lyanna was angry, she had just yelled at Jon Connington for fifteen minutes over the phone because he refused to let her talk to Rhaegar. Finally she had gotten through him, forcing him to let her talk to Rhaegar. Why did she want to talk to Rhaegar? Because she was angry, she had spent her night drinking and thinking about her life, Jon, and Rhaegar. “Hello, Lyanna, what do you want?” Lyanna wanted to scream at him the moment she heard his voice. “Hello Rhaegar. I called to inform you that our son is home after running away from home, tell me, do you care? I doubt you do considering you didn’t even bother to try and call me or him or anyone else.” Lyanna heard Rhaegar sigh, it wasn’t a sigh of relief though, it was a sigh of boredom or annoyance. “That’s good.” Lyanna felt her eye twitch with irritation. “That's good? That's it?!” their child had been missing and that’s good was the only thing he could say? “What do you want me to say?” Rhaegar questioned. “I want you to say that you're happy he’s safe, I want you to care!” Lyanna snapped. “That’s rich coming from you, you’re the one responsible for him, if he ran away it’s your fault.” Lyanna felt a pain go through her heart. “No, no! You can’t shift the blame here! The reason Jon broke down was because you ditched him, that was his breaking point, if you had shown up this wouldn’t have happened!” Rhaegar scoffed. “And where were you? Jon Connington told me that it was one of your brothers with our son, not you. Why do you have the nerve to criticize me when you weren’t even there?” Lyanna felt another blow to her heart. ‘First my brothers criticize me now even Rhaegar?...Rhaegar who didn’t even raise Jon? I can’t be that bad, can I?’ Lyanna felt her eyes burning but tried to hold back. “Don’t…You never even bothered to take care of him, at least I show him love when I’m around.” Lyanna hissed. “You and your family fought for full custody of Jon when he was born, don’t blame me because I’m not around.” Rhaegar retorted. “Yes and you got the judge to give you as much visitation as you want, you could see Jon every week if you wanted, you set when to see him so don't give me that shit Rhaegar!” Hot tears began to pour down her cheeks. “Why would I want to see him when it’s obvious that from the moment he was born you and your family have been filling his head with hatred for me. If you were a good mother you would fight for your son to have a good relationship with his father.” Lyanna felt something in her break. “ I am not a bad mother! I am a good mother, you have no right!” Lyanna just kept screaming, she couldn’t hold it in anymore.

POV switch

Jon was lying in bed, Ghost was lying in Jon’s arms. He had a massive headache from last night. Lyanna had probably let him drink a bit too much, he was planning on staying in bed for another hour or so and maybe texting Satin to help Jon relax when suddenly he heard his mother screech, it felt like two needles dipped in bleach were shoved into his eardrums. Jon shot out of bed and ran into the living room. Lyanna was sobbing and screaming into her phone. Jon quickly hugged her and took the phone from her, upon seeing Jon Lyanna's eyes widened and she hugged him. “Mom, what's wrong?” Jon felt concern bubbling in his chest, Lyanna didn’t answer she just buried her face in Jon’s hair and continued crying. Jon put Lyanna’s phone to his ear trying to figure out what was happening. “Hello?” Jon spoke into the phone. “Hello Jon.” Jon felt a lump form in his throat, he hadn’t heard anything from his father since Rhaegar had blown off their meeting. “Dad?...What’s going on?” ‘What did you do?’ Jon hated when his parents spoke, it was never pretty but this seemed even worse than usual. “....I need to go.” Rhaegar hung up on him. Jon cursed under his breath before tossing the phone onto the couch and resumed trying to comfort Lyanna. “Mom, it’ll be okay. Don’t cry.” Jon rubbed her back. “I’m a good mother…” Lyanna muttered between sobs. “You’re a great mom, It’s okay, dad’s a jerk.” Jon had no clue what the conversation was about but he knew he had to comfort his mother, he could find out the details after she was okay.

POV switch

6:30 AM

Griff was putting on his coat as Elia looked for her keys in her purse. “You know we have enough time that we could probably stop for coffee if you want?” Elia suggested. “That sounds good, we could probably stop at that new cat cafe.” Griff smiled. “We’ll get going as soon as I find my keys, this is what I get for letting your father use my car, he never puts things back where they should be.” Elia sighed. “Where are you two going?” Griff turned as Rhaegar approached. “I’m driving Griff to school.” Elia replied. Rhaegar tensed when Elia said Griff instead of Aegon. “No, you aren’t. Aegon is coming to work with me.” Griff gritted his teeth in annoyance. “No thanks.” Griff turned to walk out the door but Rhaegar grabbed him by the arm. “You are coming with me, now.” 

9:35 AM

Griff was absent-mindedly doodling on a piece of paper in Rhaegar's office while chewing gum, the office was different shades of grays, no colors, no patterns, it was aesthetically boring ‘Just like dad’. Griff's job was to answer phones while Rhaegar and Connington were in meetings. He was so incredibly bored, for the last three hours he had only gotten two calls that had only lasted a few minutes each, so Griff had nothing to do, he couldn’t even screw around on his phone because Rhaegar had taken it to make sure that Griff ‘did his job’. Griff had sucked all the flavor from the gum, and as he did with his previous pieces of gum during the last three hours he took it out of his mouth and pressed it to the underside of Rhaegar's desk. Griff jumped as he heard the phone ring, he picked it up. “Hello this is the offic-” Griff was cut off by a barrage of curses. “Dad I swear to fuck! Who the hell do you think you are?! You can’t just say that shit to mom! It’s fucking cruel!” Griff was instantly taken aback, his first instinct was that this fuming person had the wrong number then he looked at the ID on the number, Griff had nearly forgotten he had a little brother. “Don’t even think of hanging up on me again! We are going to talk!” Jon growled. “Sounds good but dad isn’t here.”  there was a pause, it lasted around fifteen seconds. “Hi…hi...Aegon…” Jon sounded embarrassed. “Hey Jon…and It’s Griff now.” Jon made a slight ‘o’ sound. That perfectly demonstrated how little they communicated. They talked at most once a year on Christmas where they would wish each other a festive day then not talk for another year, Griff never pushed for a relationship since he had known from a very young age that his half-brother wanted nothing to do with him. “Cool….I’m sorry….I called dads work phone.” Jon tensely apologized. “Oh you did, he brought me to work with him to answer his phone while he’s in meetings. So what did dad do that got you so pissed, sounds like he fucked up majorly.” Griff was curious, Jon sounded scathingly mad when he had first answered the phone. While Griff had rarely interacted with his half-brother in all those interactions Jon seemed shy and quiet, not hot headed. “Eh…dad was fighting with my mom and…I felt the urge to call and explain my feelings on the matter.” Griff quietly snorted. “Sounds about right, dads a total bitch. Want me to take a message? I’ll include the swears to make sure your point gets across.” Griff took out a notebook and a pen. “Are you serious?” Jon asked. “Fuck yeah, I’ll get to read it to him, so it’ll be like both his sons are giving him shit, it’ll be funny.” Griff heard Jon let out a little laugh. “Okay, where was I?” Jon cleared his throat. “Dad, I swear to the gods! Who the hell do you think you are?! You can’t just say that shit to mom! It’s fucking cruel! You have the fucking nerve to to give my mother shit, she is a lovely, good, kind mother you ass! Call me back when you get this! That’s all.” Griff was grinning as he wrote it down. “Nice, when I see him later I’ll read it out for him…Want me to text you when I give it to him?” Griff offered. “Sure, if it’s not inconvenient for you.” Griff nodded despite knowing Jon can’t see him. “Yeah, yeah totally, I mean pissing dad off is never something I’m too busy for.” Griff doodled a middle finger in the corner on the piece of paper with Jon’s message to Rhaegar. “Thanks. It was nice to talk to you Griff.” Griff felt oddly happy talking  to Jon, Griff knew they had no relationship but he always felt happy on the rare times they spoke. “Yeah, nice to talk to you, Jon…”

Chapter Text

Chapter twelve

Wednesday (day after last chapter)

3:49 PM

Bracing herself Lyanna knocked on the door, she had been avoiding talking to her brother and Catelyn. Ned opened it and looked relieved. “Lya, Jon, come in.” Lyanna sighed. “Thanks, Ned.” Jon’s eyes darted around the living room. “Are Robb and Theon home yet?” Ned nodded. “Yeah, they got home around fifteen minutes ago, they’re in Theon’s room. They also brought your friend-” Jon excitedly cut Ned off. “Satin! I’ll go down there now, thanks uncle Ned.” Jon ran down the basement stairs. Lyanna giggled ‘Aww, I remember acting like that when I got my first boyfriend.’ She thought to herself. “He really likes that boy. Must be really good friends.” Ned stated. Lyanna playfully rolled her eyes, she knew Ned didn’t have the easiest time spotting flirtation or romantic inclination, but to her it was obvious. “Oh yes, they’re great friends…so tea, coffee?”

They entered the dining area, Catelyn and Brandon were sitting there sipping tea. “Lya, I'm so happy to see you.” Brandon hugged Lyanna. “Yo, what’s up?” Lyanna asked. “I was just a bit worried after the last time we talked, are you feeling okay?” Lyanna sighed. “I’m fine, you know I’m fine, just been spending time with the kid, watching movies, having fun.” Catelyn and Ned exchanged a look. “Speaking of which, Robb mentioned that Jon hasn’t been to school since you picked him up.” Lyanna internally groaned ‘Because he’s my son and what I choose to do with him is none of your business’ that's what she wanted to say but instead she said “Well I just got home and after all the crazy shit I thought he deserved a few days off.” In reality Lyanna never made Jon go to school, she considered Jon mature enough to decide what he did and where he went, if he wanted to sleep all day or hang out with his friends instead of doing school who was she to stop him? “That’s understandable, the last few days have been rough for Jon.” Ned agreed. Lyanna sat down and poured herself some tea. “What about you guys? How are the kids doing?” Lyanna hoped to change the subject. “Oh they’re good, Rickon’s taking a nap, Sansa and Arya are at Jeyne’s, and Bran’s at the Reeds. Robb and Theon are downstairs, I think Theon’s getting better, since the incident he’s been a bit nicer, he’s not causing as much trouble.”

POV switch

“What so he just called and bitched at your mom?” Theon raised a brow as he lit the blunt and pressed it to Robb’s mouth. “Yeah, well technically my mom called him with the intention of giving him shit but he turned it around on her.” Jon explained. Satin pressed a kiss to Jon’s cheek before passing his blunt to Jon. “Darling, don’t take this the wrong way but your family is a bit…fucky.” Robb snorted and blew the smoke out of his mouth. “That’s a bit of an understatement.” Theon took a puff. “Yeah, I would say our family is a lot fucky.” Jon leaned his head onto Satin's shoulder. “They’re right, I’m pretty sure there's been a few murder attempts in our family.” Satin raised an eyebrow. “Elaborate?” Jon thought for a moment. “Well my uncles Ned, Brandon, and Benjen have all tried to kill my dad. It was after he got my mom pregnant. Uncle Brandon still tries to fight him when he sees my dad. Uncle Ned stopped because he brings me to meet up with my dad most of the time so he got used to my dad.” Theon shook his head. “Ned did not get used to him, he just doesn’t want to commit murder in front of you. I’ve heard him raging to Catelyn about it after dropping you off.” Jon shrugged. “Oh well I guess all my uncles still want my dad dead.” Satin tried to comfort Jon by running his fingers through Jon’s brown hair, only to realize it was far too knotted to allow his fingers to go through. Satin began detangling Jon’s hair. “Poor love.” Jon shrugged. “It’s just life…oh on the brightside I talked to my half-brother yesterday.” A small smile appeared on Jon’s face. “Really?” Both Robb and Theon looked surprised. “Yeah, I called my dads work to yell at him for upsetting my mom but Aeg…Griff, he changed his name, it’s Griff now. We had a nice little talk, I know I’m probably imagining it but he sounded kinda happy to talk to me as well…” Satin raised an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t he be happy to hear from you? You’re brothers.” Jon pouted. “I’ve never been close with my half-siblings. They never reached out and I never forced a relationship. I can’t say I’m surprised that they were never interested in me, I only exist because our dad cheated on their mom, I would probably hate me too.” A thick silence entered the room, Jon looked at his cousins and boyfriends faces and let out a nervous giggle. “Sorry, that came out worse than intended…” Robb threw his arm around Jon’s shoulder. “Jon, you’re okay, right? Like actually okay?” Robb’s eyes were full of deep concern. “Yeah, of course. I mean why wouldn’t I be okay? I’m great!” Jon quickly responded. “Well we really didn’t talk about everything that happened, with you running off and the other shit that happened, it was like you just broke down.” Jon began picking at his nails upon being reminded of the unpleasant time he spent running through the streets while he had such little control of himself. “I mean…I talked about it with Theon after he and Satin found me.”  Theon gave Jon a look that said ‘don’t lie, you little bitch’. “No, we really didn’t, I apologized for upsetting you, then we got in the car and I drove us home.” Jon tensed up and began digging his nails further into his flesh. “It’s not like it matters, I’m back, I’m okay. It doesn’t matter anymore.” Jon just wanted it to stop, he didn’t want to think about what happened, he was happy that no one had acknowledged it too much after he got back. Sure everyone fussed over him a bit when he got home but he didn’t have to talk about it and he liked it. Especially after seeing all those distressed texts from his mother, he felt horrible for running away after seeing those, he was an idiot, a fool who was breaking his mothers heart. 

‘Everything happened because I was too fragile, because I couldn’t take dad ditching me, because I couldn’t take Theon’s teasing, because I couldn’t take mom not being here. It was pure selfishness that made me run away and it scared everyone. I don’t deserve having people be worried for me…’ Jon was shaken from his thoughts by a warm wet liquid on his fingers, he was bleeding, he had pulled a long strip of skin from the top of his finger tip to the bottom of his finger off. Jon heard a sound of surprise from Satin as he noticed the blood. “Jon, your poor hand.” Satin delicately took Jon’s hand. Jon’s hands were a mess, covered in various scars, bitten and picked off pieces of flesh, nails chewed down to the nub. His knuckles were bruised as usual. Jon had a certain disregard for his body, he had been picking himself apart from a young age, he found that there was something so cathartic about peeling his skin, sometimes he couldn’t focus or calm down unless his skin was being peeled off, it just felt so infuriating to not be able to pull it off. Satin gently rubbed Jon’s fingers, he reached into his pocket and pulled out three bandaids, they had little hello kitty skulls on them, Satin laid all three of them over Jon’s finger, creating a seal to keep Jon from picking his flesh off. “Jon, you need to be careful, you’ll hurt yourself if you pick yourself apart like that.” Robb had a concerned look on his face. “It's fine, what's the worst that could happen?” Jon attempted to shake Robbs worry off. “Infection, scarring, hangnails, hangnails suck, I had one last week, ripped it off, hurt like hell.” Theon chimed in. “Is that why I heard you crying in the bathroom for like thirty minutes last week?” Theon bonked Robb on the head. “Robb shut the fuck up.” Jon snorted. “Really? Thirty minutes? Fucking pussy.” Satin had an unimpressed look on his face. “Jon, tell your boyfriend to stop being a mega bitch.” Satin flipped Theon off. “I’m not Satin’s boyfriend, what are you talking about?” Theon and Robb exchanged looks. “Huh?” Satin rolled his beautiful brown eyes. “We aren’t dating, dumbasses.” Satin leaned his head against Jon’s shoulder. “But…we’ve seen you two kiss?” Robb responded in a bewildered tone. “Gods forbid that two men are comfortable around each other.” Jon kissed Satin’s cheek. “Okay…you two are fucking with us.” Theon narrowed his eyes at them. “No, me and Jon are just besties, right sweetheart?” Jon nodded. “Absolutely.” it took so much self control for neither Jon nor Satin to laugh, this one of their games. They flirt with each other continuously in front of people then when someone would inevitably comment on it both would vehemently deny it while enjoying the confusion and annoyance on their ‘victims’ face.

POV switch 

5:46 PM

“And that’s the last of the death threats from mister Baratheon.” Griff had been reading out the messages from yesterday to Rhaegar, he hadn’t gotten the chance the previous day since Rhaegar had left immediately after work, he didn’t even drive Griff home, Rhaenys had to come get him. So he had waited until Rhaegar returned from work. “Those were all the calls regarding business, but there's one more which I have been excited to show you since I got it.” Griff cleared his throat. “Ehem, ‘Dad, I swear to the gods! Who the hell do you think you are?! You can’t just say that shit to mom! It’s fucking cruel! You have the fucking nerve to to give my mother shit, she is a lovely, good, kind mother you ass! Call me back when you get this!’ That's from Jon.” Rhaegar deadpanned. “He called?” Griff grinned. “Mhm, yeah we had a lovely talk, it’s always good to hear from your affair child.” he did feel a bit bad at calling Jon an ‘affair child’, Elia had always told him not to call Jon those names because the circumstances of his birth weren’t his fault but Griff just wanted to upset Rhaegar, it wasn’t an attack on Jon it was just Griff trying to remind Rhaegar of his failures in life. Rhaegar scoffed. “Just ignore him, he’s going through a phase. I’ll call him when there's a need to.” Griff frowned, he had wanted a bigger reaction. “Whatever, I’ll text him and tell him that I delivered the message.” Rhaegar grimaced. “No, don’t talk to him.” Griff raised an eyebrow. “Why not?” Griff questioned. “He’s a bad influence, always getting in trouble and giving me a headache every time we talk.” Rhaegar explained. Griff wasn’t sure he believed that, every time he had talked to Jon it was a decent experience, even if he had only talked to Jon a few times. “Wow, what a nice thing to say about your kid.” Rhaegar sighed. “You don’t get fatherhood. Every father finds their children annoying, you and your sister give me a headache, Jon just gives me a bigger one.” Griff clenched his fists. ‘I hope we give you migraines every day for the rest of your life.’ Rhaegar patted Griff on the shoulder. “Just don’t talk to him, you’re better off without such an annoyance.” Griff huffed and tossed his notebook full of the messages onto Rhaegar's desk and stormed off. Griff went up the stairs into his bedroom and plopped down on his bed. Griff shoved his face into his pillow and screamed into it as he usually did after talking to Rhaegar. He then pulled out his phone and went on facebook, he saw a post from Jon. 

In the photo Jon was posing with three other boys, a red headed one with blue eyes, a brown haired one with dark eyes, and a curly black haired one with brown eyes. The red headed one was making a peace sign, the brown haired one was flipping off the camera. he believed two of them, the red headed one and the brown haired one were some of Jon’s cousins on his mothers side but he didn’t recognize the other one, the curly black haired one had his head resting against Jon’s chest and kissing Jon’s hand. Griff stared at the photo for a minute before clicking on Jon’s profile, he took a deep breath and clicked on the chat button.

Griff: Hey Jon, hru?

Jon responded almost immediately. 

Jon: Hi Griff, I’m good, you?

Griff: I’m pretty good, I just talked to dad about the message you left.

Jon: What did he say? Is he gonna call me back?

Griff: He says he’ll call you when he ‘needs to’

Jon: oh.

Just ‘oh’ that was all. After listening to Jon curse out Rhaegar yesterday Griff had expected a more intense reaction, not just ‘oh’.

Griff: Are you okay?

Jon: Yeah, I’m not exactly surprised. I’ll just talk to him when we have our next meeting.

Griff: When's the next one?

Jon: end of this month, so two weeks from now.

Griff: you don’t see him much?

Jon: Nah.

Griff had thought that Rhaegar would see him more, though he had never asked. He had never been interested in the things Rhaegar did, he actually made a conscious effort to not know as much about Rhaegar as possible. He remembered what Rhaegar had said about Jon then smirked.

Griff: do you wanna hang out tomorrow? 

Chapter Text

Chapter thirteen

Thursday (day after next chapter)

3:47 PM

Picking off bandaids to reach the flesh underneath, he couldn’t help it. Who wouldn’t be nervous about seeing their brother for the first time in years? He needed some stress relief. “Jon, stop.” Theon’s hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel grabbed at one of Jon’s hands to keep him from hurting himself. “Sorry, I’m just nervous, I don’t want to make a bad impression.” Jon desperately wanted Griff to like him, maybe then they could be friends. ‘Maybe if I’m friends with dad’s favorite he’ll like me more’ Jon obviously wanted to be friends with Griff for more reasons than that, he wanted his family to like him. He wanted a big brother, a big sister, a father. “Well a way to make a good impression is not to turn up torn apart and covered in blood.” Jon sheepishly nodded. “You’re right.” He paused for a few moments. “What if he doesn’t like me? What if he hates me?” Theon rolled his eyes. “You’ll be fine. He has no reason to hate you.” Jon’s brain began to race with reasons for Griff to hate him. “No, no he does. I mean I’m our dads affair baby, we barely know each other, we barely count as family. He never reached out before, none of them did, what reason could there be except them hating me?” Before he knew his lungs were aching, he was trying to suck in air. ‘They hate you, and why wouldn’t they?’ Jon’s hand drifted to his head and began tugging at the hair he spent so long brushing and braiding this morning, trying to make himself look good. ‘You ruin everything, you ruined a family before you were even born.’ He felt his chipped nails digging into his scalp. ‘You shouldn’t even go, do everyone a favor and don’t go.’ “Gods, Jon!” Theon’s loud voice full of concern brought Jon out of his mind. He was holding a giant clump of hair that he had ripped out. “Oh….” Theon pulled the car over to the side of the road, he turned in his seat and took Jon’s head in his hands. There was a little bald spot, lightly bleeding with cuts from Jon’s nails. Theon sighed and reached into the glove box, he pulled out a few bandaids and pressed them to Jon’s head. “Sorry…” Jon looked down, his friends have had to patch him up far too much recently for his liking. He didn’t mean to hurt himself but it was just instinct to do so when he felt upset. “Don’t be sorry, just don’t do it. It’s really bad for you.” Theon lectured. Jon knew he was right but picking his nails and pulling his hair were his best ways to relieve stress. There was something so soothing about it. “LIsten whelp, I’m going to tell you how this is going to go. I’m going to drop you off at the coffee shop, you’ll get to know your brother, see a movie and have a great time. Then I’ll come get you and you’ll talk my ear off for a solid hour about how great everything was. You’ll be fine.” Theon’s tone was one of annoyance as he adjusted Jon’s hair to try and cover the bald spot. Despite Theon sounding completely annoyed Jon found his words comforting, a small smile grew on his face. “Thanks Theon…” 

4:01 PM 

As Jon entered the coffee shop his eyes darted around until he finally locked eyes with the brother he had only ever seen in photos. Griff had striking blue hair that meshed with his violet eyes. Griff was wearing a leather varsity jacket, it was black and red with D embroidered in the corner, it stood for Dragonstone. Dragonstone was once an ancestral castle for the Targaryens when they were kings but after the monarchy was brought down it was turned into an elite preparatory school. Jon at thirteen had wanted to go there but Rhaegar convinced him that he would just be rejected and that he should just go to public school. Jon was pretty sure that Rhaegar simply hadn’t wanted him around Griff and Rhaenys and that's why he discouraged him. As Griff saw him he looked Jon up and down he grinned and stood up from his chair and approached Jon. ‘he’s a fucking giant!’ Jon thought. Griff had to be at least 6’0, much taller than Jon who was barely 5’1. “Hi, Jon…I’m glad you could make it.” Griff had deep dimples and a smiley face. He was beautiful. ‘He looks nothing like me’ Jon had thought that upon seeing Griff he would be able to see some resemblance between them but Griff looked like the opposite of Jon. “Yeah, of course. I’ve been looking forward to this all day.”  

Jon and Griff sat at one of the tables in the corner of the cafe, Jon had gotten a coffee, he mixed four packets of sugar in, half of it was milk. Griff had gotten a hot chocolate. Things were awkward as expected, they knew virtually nothing about each other so having a conversation would be difficult. They were strangers yet they shared blood, a father, half of them was the same but the rest was completely unknown. “So….How’s school?” Griff questioned. “Good, good….” Jon simply replied, he wasn’t going to admit that he hadn’t been to school in days or that he hardly ever went. He didn’t want to give Griff a reason to look down on him. “What’s your favorite subject?” “History.” Jon replied without missing a beat, he had always had a fascination in ancient warriors from thousands of years ago when kings still dominated the lands, he and Griff were even descended from many, the conquerors, Daeron the young dragon, Aemon the dragon knight, those were some of Jon’s favorite Targaryen ancestors. Unfortunately the days when the dragons ruled were far behind them. “Nerd.” Griff bluntly spoke. Jon’s face dropped, he didn’t like having his interests made fun of, he had gotten into many fights with Theon over them, usually ending in a few punches to the face. At Jon’s deadpan Griff nervously giggled. “Sorry, I was just trying to tease, thought it would break the ice. I like history too.” Jon felt a bit bad for giving Griff that look now. “Ah…It’s fine, I’m sorry. I got a bit defensive…” Jon hoped his reaction didn’t put a sour taste in Griff's mouth, Jon realized that he should continue the conversation. “What’s your favorite subject?” Griff thought for a moment. “Probably math.” Jon smiled. “And you said I was a nerd?” Griff snorted. “Oh hush.” He crumbled up a napkin and lightly tossed it at Jon’s head. Jon threw it back. “Math is important, it makes the world go around.” Jon had never liked math, he could never wrap his mind around it. He had it explained to him and shown to him dozens of times but he just couldn’t understand it. “If you say so.” Jon stuck his tongue out at him. Griff playfully rolled his eyes and took a sip of his hot chocolate. “So what time does the movie start?” They had planned to go see the new Deadpool and Wolverine movie later in the day. Griff checked his phone. “5:00 PM, I know it’s around dinner time so it's a bit inconvenient but every other time it’s showing today is past my curfew.” Jon shrugged. “That’s fine.” Jon had told his family wouldn’t be back until 7:00 PM anyways, he may or may not have said he was going out to Satin’s house and would be eating there. He wasn’t sure how some of his family would react to him talking to Rhaegar's side of the family, even if it was Jon’s own half-brother. ‘I wonder if he told anyone he was meeting with me?’ Jon wasn’t sure if he wanted Rhaegar to know yet. Rhaegar seemed to currently hate him and while Jon did want to change that and try to talk things eventually he didn’t want Griff to not be allowed to see him. “Have you told anyone we’re meeting?” Jon asked. “No, I wanted to keep this private for right now, that way no risks of interruptions while we get to know each other.” Jon smiled. “Thanks…” He was happy that Griff seemed to be taking this as seriously as he was. “No prob, I figured dad would be a douche about it if I told him.” Jon was well aware that Rhaegar likely didn’t want him around Griff or Rhaenys but hearing it in plain words kinda hurt. Was Griff that aware about the entire situation? Did Rhaegar shit talk him a lot? “Has he said anything about me recently?” Jon tried to hide his pain and put on an aura of disinterest. “He doesn’t say stuff about you often but when I gave him your message he told me not to try and contact you. Said you were a bad influence and a bunch of shit like that.” Jon was disappointed, he understood he wasn’t anywhere near being a good person but hearing that his own father considered him to be bad to the point that he would forbid Jon’s own half-brother from contacting him felt so cruel. Was he really that bad? “But it’s dad so everything he says is probably bullshit. I personally find you interesting, dad can go suck a dick.” Jon snorted at Griff's sudden blatant insults towards Rhaegar. “That’s nice of you.”

POV switch

7:10 PM

‘This is the bad influence dad didn’t want me to talk to?’ Griff was now sure that Rhaegar was full of bullshit, Jon seemed super sweet, a bit weird. He would occasionally zone out and Griff noticed that he was covered in various bruises and cuts. Griff assumed that Jon was a bit clumsy. Despite Jons mildly odd behavior Griff genuinely enjoyed their time together. Throughout the entire movie they had been joking and talking about random things, like piercings. They had decided that on their next meeting Jon was going to pierce Griff's tongue. Griff had found talking to Jon fun, though the other patrons at the theater hadn’t been as interested in their conversations. By the end of the movie they were getting death glares from everybody. “That fucking rocked!” Jon beamed as he finished the last of their popcorn. Griff chuckled. “It was but I think we’ll have to rewatch the movie, we spent so much time talking I didn’t pay much attention to the plot.” Jon nodded. “Same but it was still fun…Right?” Griff wrapped an arm around Jon’s shoulder. “Yeah, it really was. I’m glad we did this.” Griff was just going at first to disobey Rhaegar but he genuinely liked Jon, they still weren’t friends yet but perhaps in the future. “I’m glad to. When do you want to meet next?” Griff scratched his blue mop of hair. “I’m usually good to meet anytime after school, except on Saturdays. Then I have soccer practice. Text me any time and we’ll plan something.” Jon looked giddy. A car pulled into the theater parking lot and loudly honked its horn, a teenager a few years older than Griff stuck his head out the window. Griff recognized the teen from a picture Jon posted yesterday. “Whelp! Get in the car, I wanna go home!” Jon rolled his eyes. “That’s Theon, he’s my cousin and my ride.” Griff shot a glare at Theon. “He seems completely and utterly unpleasant.” Griff commented. “He is.” Theon honked the car horn louder. “Jon!” Jon flipped off Theon and turned back to Griff. “I gotta go now. If I don’t get in now he’ll dive off without me.” Griff gently tugged Jon forward and took out his phone, snapping a quick picture of the two of them. “See you soon.” Jon looked surprised but happy. “Bye, Griff.”

After Jon and his loud mouth cousin had left Griff opened his phone pulled up Rhaegar's contact and sent him the picture of him and Jon along with the middle finger emoji. “Take that, motherfucker.”

Chapter Text

Chapter fourteen

Saturday (Two days after the last chapter)

11:45 AM

Jon was buried in his blankets and pillows, he had Ghost lying under the blankets with him. It was a wonderful cave of his own creation. He didn’t want to get up but he kept hearing beeps from his phone on his bedside table. He sighed and reached a hand out for his phone and grabbed it. He pulled it back under the blankets and turned it on. Most of the notification’s were from Satin. Jon opened their chat.

Sent at 10:00 AM, Satin: Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.

Sent at 10:05 AM, Satin: No that sucked, I’m sorry. Let me think of a better one.

Sent at 10:11 AM, Satin: If I was a farmer I’d put our tulips together.

Sent at 10:11 AM, Satin: Was that one better? I can send you more!

Sent at 10:20 AM, Satin: Are you a judge? Because I’m ready to be sentenced to life with you.

Sent at 10:21 AM, Satin: Wait, that makes it sound like it’s a punishment to spend my life with you, I didn’t mean it like that! I’ll find a better one, I’m sorry!

Sent at 10:30 AM, Satin: Are you a parking ticket? Because you got FINE written all over you.

Sent at 10:40 AM, Satin: Is your name google? Because you are everything I’ve been searching for!

Sent at 10:50 AM, Satin: You know I’m glad we go to school together, because we have chemistry together.

Sent at 11:01 AM, Satin: even if there was no gravity I'd still fall for you.

Sent at 11:12 AM, Satin: Hey do you have a Band-Aid? I scraped my knee falling for you.

Sent at 11:22 AM, Satin: You’re like bananas because I like you a bunch.

11:34 AM, Satin: are you Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.

11:45 AM, Satin: You know back in Texas my parents used to breed donkeys so our farm was full of them, and despite this you still have the best ass I’ve ever seen.

Jon’s face had turned completely red, Satin had been texting him pickup lines for over an hour before he even woke up.

Jon: Gods Satin…

Satin: Good morning, darling, you just woke up?

Jon: yup…

Satin: Well, you like them?

Jon: You are so cheesy.

Satin: only for you, sweetheart.

Jon smiled, Satin was so stupidly sweet with him. It made his heart feel so…full. Satin made him feel like everything was okay, like things weren’t so bad, just by being his stupid sweet self.

Satin: So beautiful, got any plans for the day?

Jon: Not that I’m aware of, why?

Satin: You, darling, have been invited to a private picnic starting at 1:00 PM. Will you attend?

‘You are the most wonderful person ever, I love you so much’ Jon thought to himself. Satin had just randomly decided to plan a picnic for them, it sounded wonderful to Jon.

Jon: I will.

Satin: Fantastic, see you then, mi Amor. I love you.

Jon: I love you too.

Jon immediately began digging through his closet looking for something that isn’t completely covered in grass stains and tears. He did like looking at least somewhat good for Satin. Jon eventually found a black hoodie that was at least two sizes bigger than Jons. it was fairly new so Jon hadn’t wrecked it completely yet. The only holes that were a result of Jon was two small ones in each sleeve for him to put his thumbs in. He then grabbed a pair of black jeans, there was only one big rip on the knees but it wasn’t as bad as his other jeans so it would have to do. ‘Should I wear my boots with spikes or my hunting ones?’ Jon did really like his spiked boots but they were occasionally inconvenient in certain situations. ‘What if we cuddle and Satin accidentally hurts himself on the spikes’ with that thought Jons decision was made. He didn’t want to upset Satin when he planned something so sweet.
Jon went into the bathroom. He looked himself in the mirror and the first thing he noticed wasn’t his greasy face or his bruised nose from face planting into the ground yesterday after trying to do a backflip, it was instead the small bald patch that he had been hiding. He hadn’t mentioned his latest tic of ripping his hair out to Satin, and luckily it hadn’t become visible enough that he couldn’t hide it. So far the only person who had seen Jon doing anything besides tugging lightly on his hair was Theon, who hadn’t told anyone. After Jon’s day with Griff he had made Theon promise not to tell anyone. Though he seemed extremely reluctant about making that promise. Jon picked up his hair brush and began brushing his hair to the side until it covered the bald spot. Afterwards he pulled his hood up just for extra safety.

The first sight Jon was greeted with upon entering the living room was Lyanna sitting on the couch downing a beer can, he instantly felt an unsettled feeling in his gut. He hated when she drank this early in the morning, it was never a good sign. “Morning mom, is everything okay?” Lyanna turned to Jon and petted Ghost who was up in Jon’s arms. “Morning, kid. Yeah I'm fine. I was feeling agitated so I decided to have something to take off the edge.” Jon decided he wouldn’t dwell on how much he disliked her early morning drinking, he had a date. He wanted to be happy. “Okay, mom.” Lyanna looked Jon up and down and patted him on the cheek. “Oh, don’t you look nice. Where are you going?” Jon hadn’t yet told his family about him and Satin. Theon and Robb knew but that's only because Theon unintentionally saw them kiss and then decided to blab about it to Robb. “Oh I'm just going out with Satin.” Jon tried to act nonchalantly about it but the reality was that he was bursting at the seams with excitement. Jon always felt butterflies in his stomach when he was about to go out with Satin. Despite the fact they had been together for nearly nine months, and friends for over a year, Jon’s butterflies never faded with Satin. “Oh Satin, aye? You know I really like that kid, he’s so sweet with you.” Jon thought that there was a possibility that his mother already knew about him and Satin. She always complimented him when Jon brought him up and made comments about how good of a friend Satin was to Jon. regardless he wasn’t completely sure she knew so he wouldn’t admit it. Not yet, at least. “Yeah, Satin’s nice with everyone. He's great.” Lyanna looked Jon in the eyes before leaning forward and kissing his forehead. “Have fun, kid.” Jon smiled, enjoying the soft warmth on his forehead. “I will, mama.”

1:00 PM

Jon arrived at the entrance to the small park. Usually on a Saturday a hoard of kids would be filling up a park, but not this one. All the old park equipment had been metal, and on hot summer days kids would get burns playing, after plenty of protesting from parents the city tore down the equipment and was supposed to be replaced with new safe equipment but for some reason it was never renovated and people just ended up forgetting about this place, opting to play at a different park closer to the preschool. Ever since Jon and Satin would come here for dates when they wanted to be alone.
Jon quickly made his way over to Satin, who he saw sitting on a blanket in the corner of the park. Upon seeing Jon Satin jumped up. Satin was wearing a sleek leather jacket with rhinestones lining the cuffs. Underneath he was wearing a crop top the said in big bold letters ‘Warning explicit language’ that was paired with black leggings and his big cowboy boots. Satin wrapped his arms around Jon and kissed his cheek leaving some cherry colored lipstick behind. “Hey, darling.” Jon turned a slight pink and wrapped his arms around Satin’s neck and gave him a little kiss on the nose. “You look really nice today.” Jon complimented him, he loved Satin's sense of style. “Thank you, baby. You look pretty good yourself.” Satin grinned revealing the little gap in his two front teeth. ‘He’s the prettiest boy ever’ Jon pressed his mouth to Satin’s. Satin affectionately kissed back. Jon loved kissing Satin, he always wanted to do it but it was so nerve wracking, Jon was worried about doing something wrong. Kissing was still kind of new for them, Jon had been too shy to kiss Satin for a long time so they took their time. Opting to just hold hands and cuddle.
They slowly pulled away from each other, both flushed. Satin gently took Jon’s hands and they sat down on the picnic blanket, Satin lied down and lightly tugged Jon down with him. Jon happily lied next to Satin, hands still intertwined. “This is nice.” Satin commented. “We haven’t even done anything yet.” Jon pointed out. “Everything is nice when we’re together.” A small smile tugged at his lips. “Yeah…You’re right.” Things were better when they were together, no matter how shitty things were they were a bit more barrable when they were together. “That cloud looks like Ghost.” Satin pointed up at a certain cloud that was vaguely dog shaped. “Even when I don’t bring Ghost with me he still follows.” Jon chuckled. “How dare you not bring him with you! The poor puppy must feel so abandoned.” Satin teased, causing Jon to roll his eyes. “Oh hush. I did not abandon him, on my way here I dropped him off at my uncle's house. My cousins are all going to the dog park today, he has company.” Jon had thought about leaving Ghost alone with his mother but after seeing her drinking so early in the day he decided it would be best to leave Ghost with his cousins. “Aww, I hope there's pictures, if there are you have to show me.” Satin seemed to love Ghost as much as Jon did, which was great for Jon. He didn’t think he could date someone who disliked Ghost. Plus Jon just thought Satin fussing over Ghost to be extremely endearing. “I almost guarantee they’ll be pictures, Sansa has been obsessed with photography lately.” Jon rolled onto his side so he could look at Satin with more ease. “Cute.” Satin reached up and caressed Jon’s cheek. “I packed us some sandwiches, and strawberries.” Jon pressed his mouth to Satin's hand. “That sounds good.” Satin sat up and reached into the picnic basket, taking out two zip lock bags of ham sandwiches, a small bag of strawberries, and a small bouquet of snowdrops which he handed to Jon. “Here, these are for you.” Jon’s eyes widened before a full on grin appeared on his face ‘Oh my sweet Satin’ Jon sniffed the perfumey flower. “Satin, thank you.” Satin had grown up on a farm and grew the most beautiful flowers, Satin would occasionally take a few and give them to Jon. “Anything for my future husband.” Satin winked. Jon looked like all the blood vessels in his face had burst. He buried his face in his sleeves. “Satin…” Satin let out a loud giggle. “Honey, you are adorable.” Satin wrapped his arms around Jon’s shoulders and began gently kissing his neck. Jon tossed his arms around Satin. “Future husband?...Really?” Satin nodded happily. “You’d want to be stuck with me?” Satin pulled away and looked Jon in the eyes. “Jon, I want to spend forever with you, I want to wake up everyday for the rest of my life and see you.” Satin was a romantic, he had been a romantic for their entire relationship but Jon still, at times, couldn’t believe how Satin could say those honeyed words to him of all people. “Planning for that far in the future?” Jon couldn’t believe that Satin wanted to spend forever with him. “Why not? I love you.” Jon leaned forward and kissed him. “I love you too.”

Chapter Text

Chapter fifteen

6:45 PM (Same day as previous chapter)

Things had run a bit late, Jon had spent hours staring up at the sky and eventually they just fell asleep. After waking up Jon quickly went to the Stark house to retrieve Ghost and go home. Ghost had a fantastic time at the park and Sansa had sent him the photos she took of the dogs. As Jon stepped through the front door and into the living room he got a whiff of the strong pungent odor of alcohol. He held Ghost close to his chest as he stepped over the several bottles and cans littered onto the ground. 

Lyanna was lying on the couch, she looked mostly asleep but shot awake when Jon accidentally kicked a glass bottle causing it to make a clang sound. “Oh! Hey Jonny Jon, you’re home.” Lyanna rubbed her eyes, removing the sleep from them. “Hey mom, had a little party?” Jon awkwardly joked. Seeing his mother like this made him very uncomfortable, it put him on edge. “Heh, yeah. Parents need a break once in a while ya know?” She tilted her head and he saw something, something in her eye that he could only describe as sorrow and regret. Was it regret for Jon seeing her like this? No, it couldn’t be, he had seen her drunk or stoned hundreds of times before throughout his life. Jon sat down on the couch next to her, putting Ghost on her lap. “Mom, are you okay?” Lyanna gently petted Ghost, in turn Ghost nuzzled into her hand. “I’m fine, just thinking about things.” Lyanna paused, taking a deep breath before putting on a grin. “How was your date?” She asked in a playful tone. Jon looked down in embarrassment. “It wasn’t a date.” He didn’t want to tell his family yet, everyone who knew about him and Satin only knew because they had slipped up. Lyanna took Jon’s head in her hands and looked into his eyes. “Have I ever told you I’m glad you’re not a girl?” Those words surprised Jon, it seemed completely off topic and a strange thing in general to mention. “No, why do you bring that up?” Jon questioned, furrowing his brows. “Because you’re like me. Sneaking around with boys all the time, denying it when my father questioned me about it. If you were a girl you would end up just like me.” Lyanna booped his nose. Jon pouted. “Is being like you truly that bad?” Jon loved Lyanna, he admired her, she was his mother, how could he not? “No one should be like me. At fifteen I was a married man's whore and my life was ruined before it even started by a teenage pregnancy.” Jon felt a rush of sadness go through him, he knew his birth had majorly impacted his mother but he never went as far as to think he ruined his mothers life. “Ruined? I wouldn’t say ruined.” Jon lightly tried to protest but Lyanna shook her head, she caressed Jon’s cheek. “Kid, I love you more than anything but there's no point in denying it. You ruined me, Jon.” She kissed Jon’s head while saying these things that broke his heart. “I…I’m sorry mom. I didn’t know…” Jon felt like crying and screaming. “I used to be on the soccer team, I had so many friends. Then you came along. I had to drop out to be a mom, I lost everything. Even your father left me. The only thing I had left was you. But that's to be expected, life is cruel. Your birth taught me a lesson, you can’t ever be happy for too long, something will always ruin it.” Lyanna rubbed the liquid coming out of Jon’s eyes while tears of her own came out of hers. Pain radiated from deep in his core. He had ruined his mothers life. He had grown up hearing that babies were a blessing but his birth wasn’t a blessing, it was a punishment for his parents. Jon felt like his lungs were collapsing in on himself. “I’m sorry, mom.” Jon blubbered through tears Lyanna responded by shushing him. “Don’t cry, I love you. You’re my baby, even if I don’t want you I love you.” Jon wasn’t sure if her choice in words were intentional or due to her current state but he picked up on it. There was a difference between ‘didn’t’ and ‘don’t’. After raising him for fourteen years one would think she would want him now. Lyanna wrapped her arms around Jon and brought him to her chest, cuddling him. Jon clung on, he never wanted to let go. He wanted to feel his mothers love.

8:00 PM

Jon had put Lyanna to bed and cleaned up all the beer bottles. He didn't want his mother to wake up with a hangover and a messy house. Now he was lying in bed with Ghost on his chest. Jon felt so broken-hearted, he understood why his mother didn't want him. It just hurt him a lot. “How could such a wonderful day end so horribly, Ghost?” Jon buried his face into Ghost's head fur. Jon had been completely overjoyed, just being with Satin but now, he just felt so sad and horrible. Lyanna had implied some things about how she felt about being a mother over the years but she always seemed to at least be glad that Jon was alive but now, perhaps for the first time ever, she told Jon how she truly felt and he hated it.

He felt like he was a horrible monstrous child. He caused trouble wherever he went. He had ruined his mothers life, been a thorn in his fathers side, and caused his uncle and aunt unnecessary stress. As tears burned his eyes and wetted his cheeks he gripped at two small handfuls of hair, tugging at it until he felt the hair give way to burning pain. He felt blood begin to pool where the hair had previously been. He knew he wasn’t supposed to keep ripping at his hair, he knew it was bad but he needed some sort of relief. He threw the clumps of hair across his room before burying his face in his hands, he couldn’t bury his face in Ghost's fur anymore or the blood might leak into it and stain.

Without warning Jon’s phone began ringing, he thought about letting it go to voicemail but upon seeing who the caller was he quickly picked it up. “Dad?” A sigh was heard from the other end of the phone. “Hello Jon.” Rhaegar answered. “Is everything okay?” Rhaegar very rarely called Jon, there was never a need for him to call Jon, Rhaegar had scheduled time together, scheduled holiday visits, scheduled holiday cards to be sent. “Yes, I’m well. I wanted to inquire as to whether you would meet me somewhere tomorrow. I cleared my schedule so we could meet.” Jon was utterly bewildered, his father never asked for more time with him then necessary. At hearing that Rhaegar had cleared his schedule Jon smiled, did Rhaegar finally want him? “You want to see me?” Jon wanted to make sure he wasn’t having auditory hallucinations. “Yes, I wish to speak to you. Is that a problem?” Jon shook his head out of habit. “No, no! Of course not. I’m happy to meet you. Where should we meet?” Jon questioned, barely able to contain his excitement. Rhaegar actually wanted to see him, it made Jon’s heart do backflips. “12:00 PM, at ‘the dragon onion’. We’ll have lunch.” Jon grabbed a pen and paper, quickly writing it down so he wouldn’t forget. “Got it. I’ll ask uncle Ned to drive me there.” Jon always asked Ned or Catelyn to drive him to meet up with Rhaegar. They were essentially the only people who could. Lyanna tried to avoid talking to and seeing Rhaegar as much as possible. His uncles Brandon and Benjen had tried to attack and even kill Rhaegar before. According to Lyanna, Brandon had spent six months in jail for assault after finding out Rhaegar got Lyanna pregnant. “Alright, see you tomorrow.” Rhaegar hung up and Jon nearly squealed in excitement before quickly opening his contacts and calling Ned. After a few seconds Ned’s tired voice was heard. “Jon, is everything alright?” For Jon everything was better than alright. “Yeah, I’m great actually. I was wondering if you would mind driving me to a restaurant tomorrow? It’s called the dragon's union.” Ned paused. “Why do you want to go to a restaurant?” Jon very rarely ate at any restaurant that wasn’t a fast food chain, after all mcdonalds was delicious and easy to get so why go somewhere fancy? “My dad called. He wants to see me tomorrow! Isn’t that fantastic?!” Jon almost yelled, he was so excited. “Rhaegar wants to meet you?” Jon hated how surprised his uncle sounded but he understood it, he was still surprised. “Yeah, he wants to spend time with me!” Jon was so happy, today had been such a whirlwind of emotions for him. Earlier he was overjoyed, then feeling completely broken, and now he’s overjoyed again. “Yes, yes, that’s wonderful. Of course I’ll drive you to see him.” Jon could hear Ned’s uneasiness and reluctance but he appreciated that he was still willing to drive Jon there. “Thank you! I’m supposed to meet him at 12:00 PM.” 

Sunday (The next day)

11:15 AM

Jon excitedly knocked on the big wooden door, he heard faint footsteps before the door swung open. “Hi aunt Cat.” Jon chirped. Usually he tried to keep his excitement on the inside but just couldn’t. Catelyn was holding Rickon in her arms while Shaggydog ran around her feet. “Jon, I didn’t know you were coming over. Is everything okay?” Catelyn always looked like she was expecting something horrible to be happening when he showed up. “I’m fine. Uncle Neds supposed to drive me to see my dad. He called me and said he wanted to see me.” Something in Catelyn's eyes shifted, but she smiled at him. “That's lovely. I have something to discuss with Ned before he can go anywhere so come in, sit on the couch, maybe play with Rickon?” Jon nodded and eagerly took his baby cousin in his arms. “Hi Rickon.” Jon cooed and gave Rickon a kiss on the head before stepping into the house.

POV switch

“Did you know about this?” Catelyn harshly whispered. She had pulled Ned into their bedroom away from any of the childrens, but especially Jons, ears. “Yes, I knew.” Ned admitted. “And you're fine with it!?” Catelyn was bewildered by Ned's willingness to allow Jon to see Rhaegar again. “What was I supposed to do? Rhaegar is Jon’s father. I can’t just forbid him from seeing him, especially when Jon is so desperate to.” Ned reasoned. “I know but he’s so horrible! He treats Jon like some unwanted old dog. For fucks sake, last time he was supposed to see Jon he ditched him and Jon had a breakdown and ran away, what if it happens again!?” Ned sighed, Catelyn could tell he agreed with her. “I know, and I’m just as concerned as you are but we can’t do anything. Rhaegar can legally see Jon whenever he wants. We have no say. I want to keep Jon away from him, I have since he was a baby and even more so now but we can’t do anything.” Ned rubbed his temples, there was a type of deep despair in his eyes. Catelyn took a deep breath in, she knew Ned hated this as much as she did. “You’re right, I know you are. But what do we do? If Rhaegar leaves him heartbroken again then…Well I’m not sure if Jon will survive that.” Jon had been broken by Rhaegar so many times and Catelyn had watched and tried to help the best she could. Missed birthdays and holidays, broken promises, and empty words. Despite all the times Jon’s trust was broken he still loved his parents and Catelyn knew that. Catelyn also knew that Jon was falling apart. “Ned, he's breaking down. I can tell just by looking at him. He looks constantly tired and like he’s been crying. He’s always covered in bandages. I’m worried he might be intentionally hurting himself. All it’ll take is one more broken promise or abandonment.” Catelyn had been noticing Jon’s wrecked state but she didn’t know what to say or how to approach it, what if she did it wrong and it hurt him more? “Cat, I admit Jon’s been a bit of a mess for awhile but he's a tough kid.” Ned caressed her cheek in an attempt to comfort her. “He’s tough. I doubt most children would have lasted as long as he has.” Catelyn would never deny that Jon was strong, but he was still a child who needed stable parents. “Maybe today will be good? Rhaegars never tried to properly invite Jon somewhere.” Ned suggested. “I know, and that's what makes me nervous. Why now? Jon’s nearly fifteen. Why wait that long to want to be in your child's life?” Catelyn just couldn’t understand, if this was Rhaegar just wanting to spend time with Jon then why is this the first time he’s ever shown interest. “Cat, I’m sure things will be fine.” She could tell that he was lying, trying to make them both less nervous. “Still. I don’t trust Rhaegar to be with Jon after what’s happened.” She crossed her arms. “Would it make you feel better if you dropped Jon off? I’ll stay home with the kids, you can drive Jon to see Rhaegar.” Catelyn thought for a moment, that would make her feel a bit better. “Okay, I’ll drop Jon off.”

11:49 AM

Catelyn was tapping her fingers against the steering wheel, the closer she got to the restaurant the more nervous she felt, she hoped it was nothing but she had a sinking feeling that something terrible was about to happen. She looked to her side where Jon was sitting in the passenger seat. He looked so excited yet so tired. He had a beanie covering most of his hair, only a few messy knots could be seen framing his pale face. He looked almost sick with those dark rings around his black irritated eyes. There were bandaids all over him, his cheeks, his nose, his neck, but they were especially covering his fingers. There wasn’t an inch of flesh on his fingers that wasn’t covered. Jon was always a bit danger prone since he usually wasn’t supervised but now it seemed like every time she laid eyes on him he was worse off. She noticed him picking at a bloody bandaid on his middle finger, it seemed like it was about to come off. “Jon, don’t pick.” Catelyn lightly scolded though there was no true harshness, she was too concerned for the boy to be harsh with him. “Sorry aunt cat.” Jon apologized and quickly stopped, putting his hands in his pockets. “Don’t be.” Catelyn took a deep breath before speaking again. “Jon, you know you can talk to me whenever you need to, right? In fact, not just me, Ned too.” Jon looked up at her and smiled, his lips were cracked and dry. “Thank you auntie cat, but I’m fine.” Lies, she knew that was a lie. She had helped raise this boy, she considered him one of her own, and she knew when one of her children was suffering. “If you say so, but remember, I will always help you.” She promised.

12:00 PM

Before they had even come to a complete stop Jon hopped out of the car. Catelyn stepped out shooting Jon a look for doing that. He sheepishly smiled. “Sorry, I’m just really excited.” Jon rubbed his knuckles. Catelyn's look softened, ‘Please gods, don’t hurt this boy anymore’ she put her hand on Jon’s shoulder. “I’m going to be staying around the area, text me whenever you need me to come pick you up.” Jon nodded. “You don’t have to stay close, I’m probably gonna want to stay with dad for as long as he’ll let me and he said he cleared his entire schedule so it might take a long time.” Jon had pure excitement in his eyes. ‘He cleared his entire schedule? That could be a good sign.’ Catelyn tried to reassure herself. “That’s lovely dear, I hope you have a wonderful time.” Jon hugged her and she quickly wrapped her arms around him. He felt like a sac of bones to her. 

POV switch

Jon excitedly entered the restaurant, he looked around until he saw Rhaegar sitting at a table in the corner. Jon straighed his clothes out before rushing over and sitting down. “Hi dad!” Jon was a bit louder then he usually would be but he couldn’t help it. Rhaegar's dark purple eyes looked at Jon. “Jon, I’m glad you agreed to see me.” Rhaegar's face was neutral, no hint of emotion on it. He never seemed to express emotion. “Of course I did. You're my dad. I was so excited when you asked me to come see you.” Jon was bouncing his thigh slightly in excitement. “Yes, of course. Now let's talk.” Jon felt a subtle weave of confusion wash over him, it sounded like he had something in particular he wanted to say. “About?” Jon questioned. “I feel the need to explain why I’ve never been interested in seeing you.” Jon furrowed his brows. “Go on…” Rhaegar closed his dark eyes for a moment before opening them again. “You know it was nothing against you. It’s just your birth, it was a bit inconvenient.” Jon felt Lyanna's words ring in his head and his eyes began to burn. “I’m married to Elia, we had Aegon and Rhaenys before you were even born. And so when Lyanna got pregnant and Elia found out she threatened to leave me and take the kids.” Jon had managed to tear his bandaid off without even realizing it, this conversation wasn’t what he was expecting. “I couldn’t stay with your mother, I couldn’t divorce Elia. So I decided it would be best to be a bit distant. I was honestly close to cutting contact completely but my wife convinced me not to and to stay somewhat involved in your life.” The idea that Rhaegar had only stayed in contact with Jon because his wife who he cheated on wanted him to hurt, badly. It struck a chord in Jon’s heart that he didn’t even know was there. “ I thought things would be fine. I kept you away from my family, away from my kids and everything was working out until.” Rhaegar sighed, breaking his sentence. “Until you got into contact with Aegon.” Jon’s eyes widened, Griff said he wasn’t going to tell. How did Rhaegar know? “How do you know that?” Rhaegar's groaned. “Aegon sent me a photo of you two right before he snuck out for the night and didn’t come home until morning. I’m not sure why you would tell Aegon to run away. Maybe to spite me for not giving you enough attention when you pulled the same stunt and ran off but I won’t let it stand.” Jon quickly shook his head. “No, no, I didn’t tell him to do that.” Jon couldn’t believe that Griff had told Rhaegar they met then ran away. “So it's a coincidence that right after meeting you for the first time he ran away?” Jon was about to reply but Rhaegar cut him off. “Don’t. You’re just like your mother, a lying little brat.” Jon finally gave way to tears, Rhaegar had never been nice to him but he had never said such cruel things. “Dad…I’m sorry but I didn’t do anything…” Jon rambled in between sobs. “Don’t call me that, as far as I’m concerned and as far as the law is concerned you aren’t mine.” Rhaegar took out a folder. “These papers have allowed me to renounce my parental rights to you. You’re Lyanna's problem now.”

POV switch

Catelyn had decided to stick around the restaurant parking lot for a bit longer, just in case. She was leaning against the hood of her car watching Bran and Robb play with Rickon through her nanny cam. Suddenly she heard loud fast footsteps approaching and looked up. It was Jon, he was sobbing, his face was red and wet. Catelyn immediately wrapped Jon in a hug and cupped his face in her hands. “Jon, what happened? What's wrong?” Catelyn felt utter dread enter her system at the sight of her poor nephew. Jon was shaking in her arms. “M…my dad...he…he…doesn't want me anymore!” As soon as those broken words left Jon's mouth the dread disappeared and rage took its place.

“What in the seventh name is wrong with you?!” Catelyn screeched at Rhaegar. Once she had cleared up the details with Jon she had put him back in the car and went into the restaurant to give Rhaegar a piece of her mind. “Mrs Stark, to be frank this is none of your business-” Catelyn couldn’t believe his nerve, before she could even finish she began to berate him again. “You have an incredibly sweet child who only wants your love and you don't want him?! You made him, how could you not want him?!” Catelyn couldn’t fathom how someone couldn’t love the child they made, how they could just abandon them without a second thought. “Jon has been a destructive force in my life, and my family's lives since he was born. I won't allow him to keep interfering.” Rhaegar stated, emotionless as ever. “What has that boy done besides wanting your love?! He just wants his father! He's a child yet you speak of him like he’s some demon bent on destroying you!” Catelyn couldn’t understand how Rhaegar could see Jon like that, Jon had his problems, he was a bit rebellious at times but he was completely loving to his family. “Mrs Stark, please stop screaming, you're causing a scene.” She didn't care how many people were looking at her, or hearing her. She was angry and wouldn't be dealing with Rhaegar trying to shame her into calming down. “Oh, you think this is a scene? This is a scene!” Catelyn formed a fist, grabbed Rhaegar by the collar of his shirt and punched him in the nose, causing blood to spray from it and stain her knuckles. Rhaegar fell backwards onto the ground, Catelyn gave him a kick in the stomach before turning and leaving the restaurant.

Chapter Text

Chapter sixteen

2:23 PM (Same day as previous chapter)

Catelyn was gently rubbing up and down Jon’s back, the poor boy was in shambles. He was lying on the living room couch, crying his eyes out, shaking and gripping the pillow he had his face pressed into. “It’ll be alright. Let it out.” upon getting home Catelyn had sent all the younger children to go play in their rooms, she didn’t want them to get too distressed seeing Jon like this, she knew they wouldn’t understand these complexities and might say something that would just upset Jon more. Robb and Theon were out somewhere, if they were home she likely would have sent them to go watch the little ones. Ned was in the kitchen, silently fuming and trying to get a hold of Lyanna. Jon wanted- no, he needed Lyanna right now. ‘He’s already had one parent abandon him today, he needs her’ Catelyn thought with a frown on her face. Catelyn moved her hand up to remove his beanie, she was going to braid his hair. When he was younger Catelyn used to braid his hair to calm him down from nightmares. Catelyns eyes widened and her mind filled with utter dread, there were big bald patches in Jon’s brown curly hair, big bruised cut up bald patches. She remembered that for the last few weeks Jon had been wearing beanies and hoods constantly, she thought of how Jon had always had the habit of curling his hair on his fingers and giving it light tugs. Jon had been pulling out his hair, and she hadn’t noticed. Catelyn stroked the exposed hair that remained, she wanted to say something about it, truly and desperately she did, she wanted to ask why he was doing this, but she wouldn’t not right now. He was too fragile, she wasn’t sure he could handle something like this. ‘He’s already hurting himself, what if he did something worse?....no, I must not think like that. I will talk to him after we’ve settled him.’ She took a deep breath in and out. “Jon, I’m going to get you some hot cocoa with cinnamon, just like you like.” All her children had drinks she got them when they were sad. For Robb it was strawberry milk, for Theon it was sodas, for Sansa it was a hot cup of sweet tea, for Arya milk with crumpled up cookies in it, for Bran it was milk with honey, and for Rickon grape juice. Jon’s drink had always been hot chocolate with cinnamon in it. She gently kissed the side of his head before getting up. As she was about to leave she faintly heard a quiet shaky “Thank you, mom.” she froze for a moment ‘Mom, did he call me mom? No, He’s very tired, I shall not bring it up to him. It’ll only embarrass the poor thing.’ Despite Catelyn being quite sure it was a mistake she felt a tug on her heart strings, a slight happiness in her. 

Catelyn entered the kitchen, Ned was pacing back and forth with his phone to his ear. “Has she answered yet?” Catelyn sincerely hoped Lyanna had answered, last time they had called her this much was because Jon had run away. She should know to answer by now. “Nope. I called Brandon and Benjen, they’re gonna spam call and text her until she answers.” Catelyn frowned, it shouldn’t take this much pestering to get Lyannas attention. Catelyn opened the fridge taking out some chocolate syrup and milk. “Of course she hasn’t…I’m making Jon some hot chocolate.” Catelyn stated. “Good idea. You get him to calm down anymore.” Catelyn paused for a few moments. “I was right.” she whispered. “About?” Ned asked. “Jon is hurting himself, I took off his beanie, he’s been ripping out his hair.” Ned's eyes widened before filling with sorrow. “Fuck…He really is Lyannas son.” Catelyn remembered when Lyanna was pregnant, right after she had found out and Rhaegar had broken up with her Lyanna had begun ripping out her hair by the fist full. Lyanna had managed to stop ripping out her hair by avoiding stress, unfortunately for Lyanna avoiding stress meant leaving her baby with family, running away to some resort, bar, or hotel for days on end and getting drunk. Catelyn knew Jon was a sweet boy and she prayed he wouldn’t end up broken like Lyanna. “Now that I know he’s hurting himself I think of the fact he’s always covered in bandages and bandaids and has been for years. Ned, how long has he been hurting himself? How long have we just never noticed?” Ned sighed. “I don’t know, Cat. But I promise we’ll help him.” Ned wrapped his arms around Catelyn and held her tightly. She leaned her head on his shoulder. “I know…I just wish all our chil-” Catelyn cut herself off, she knew Jon wasn’t one of her children and she shouldn’t call him her own but it felt natural. She raised him, cared for him, fed him, comforted him after nightmares. She knew she could never replace Lyanna, despite the part of her that wanted to. “I wish our family was safe.” she corrected. “I know…”

POV switch

Jons mind was a muddled mess, thoughts were flowing at a rapid rate. About Rhaegar, about the fact he didn’t have a father anymore, about the fact Griff told when he said he wouldn’t. Jon felt so much rage, sadness, disgust, and fear. Children were taught from the beginning that their parents are the two people they can count on fully to protect them but now Jon was facing the horrible reality that his father truly didn’t love or care for him. 

Jon was sunken into himself holding his knees to his chest, face pressed against the couch pillow, damp with his tears. His vision was blurry and everything felt so scary, he felt so alone. Jon slowly reached up to his head and began pulling his hair. ‘ You are so stupid, you honestly thought interfereing with your fathers family would be a good idea? Of course he hates you, you destroy everything you touch ’ The voice in Jons head cruelly spoke. Jon stabbed his broken cracked nails into his scalp, gripping at his roots and pulling. ‘ If you really loved your family you would do them the favor of just disappearing for good ’ A scream tore from Jons throat, he was holding big bloody clumps of hair in his hands, there was a shooting pain in his skull, it was on fire.

His ears were ringing, everything he heard and saw was so incredibly wrong. Jon heard faint gasping then felt two arms wrap around him. He looked up at Catelyn, she was saying something but her words sounded like gibberish to him, he couldn’t see her properly, his tears were too thick but he could feel her and smell her perfume. He felt two kind but rough hands gently pull his fingers apart, taking the big chunks of hair out of his grip. He felt Ned's hand move Jon’s hands down to his sides before wrapping his arms around Jon and Catelyn.

POV switch

As she slowly opened her eyes Lyanna felt a strong pounding in her skull, it was the pounding of a hangover, a feeling she was all too familiar with. “Ugh…” 

Lyanna got up, walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water and some painkillers, she downed them. She was surprised at the state of the house, usually when she drank there was more of a mess. Lyanna then noticed a little sticky note on the fridge. 

‘Mama, I cleaned up for you, I’m probably gonna be out for most of the day, love you🖤 Ps, your phones on the coffee table’

A faint smile appeared on her tired face. “Oh kid…” Lyanna threw herself onto the couch, grabbing her phone and turning it on. She was instantly met with dozens of messages and voicemails from both Ned and Catelyn. ‘Shit, this is never good…Did Jon tell them I was drinking last night?’ Lyanna hesitantly called Ned back. He nearly instantly answered. “Lyanna, we’ve been calling you non stop for the last two hours!” She cringed at Ned's loud voice, she was too hungover to deal with whatever this was. “Sorry, I just woke up. What’s up?” Lyanna rubbed under her eyes. “You need to come to my house now. It’s an emergency.” Lyanna felt her chest tighten. “What happened?”

3:12 PM

As Lyanna knocked on the door she whispered a silent prayer that Ned was just being dramatic, that Jon wasn’t as bad as he said he was. She heard heavy footsteps moving quickly before Ned swung open the door. He grabbed Lyannas hand and dragged her in before she could even say anything.

She felt her stomach churn. The top of Jon’s head had nearly no hair left, there were a few little tufts left but most was gone. Jon’s scalp and forehead were covered in blood, Catelyn was rubbing a cloth over Jon’s head. Jon’s dark eyes were swollen and irritated, he looked completely broken. Lyanna wanted to vomit, all she saw when she looked at Jon was her when she was a teenager ripping herself apart. She slowly approached Jon, sitting next to him. “Hi kid.” She didn’t know what to say. Jon blinked his tear filled eyes at her. “Mama?” She nodded and put a hand on his shoulder. “Yeah, uncle Ned told me you had a rough day.” Jon suddenly lunged forward wrapping his arms around her, he began crying into her shoulder. Blood was her shirt and soaking into the hair hanging by her shoulders. She tensed up. “Mama…Dad and I met and…and…” Jon blubbered between sobs. Lyanna instinctually put a hand on his mouth. Catelyn shot her a glare. She didn’t want to hear what Rhaegar did again, Ned had already told her, she didn’t want to hear about him. “I know, I know, kid, it’s okay.” She tried to reassure him but she knew she didn’t sound convincing. How could she? She didn’t want to be here. Every instinct in her body told her to leave, get away from the blood, tears and sweat her kid was producing but she knew she was supposed to stay and try and help so she did. She pulled his face off her shoulder and cupped, despite the fact she was disgusted by how much he looked like she did. How she once had shared that same broken look when she was used, left in a vulnerable state then abandoned by Rhaegar. She had always heard people say that they hoped their children looked like them but right now she wished Jon didn’t resemble her at all. “It’ll be okay. Just calm down.” Lyanna knew Jon couldn’t calm down, he was destroyed emotionally but she didn’t know what to say to this. Jon began to hyperventalate, he was wheezing, his chest was moving up and down rapidly. Lyanna remembered being in this state, being lectured and yelled at by her parents while being told to calm down. All she could think about was herself when Rhaegar destroyed her, and now she was looking at her clone who was also just destroyed by Raegar. Lyanna felt her eyes fill with tears. Ned gave her a surprised look and tried to put a hand on her shoulder. “Lya, it’s going to be okay. We’re getting Jon fixed up. He’ll be okay.” Lyanna smacked his hand away, she looked back at her spawn and untangled herself from his arms before standing up and rushing out the doors. As she ran she heard Jon’s sore voice call out for her “Mom?”, “Come back.”, “Please!” but she wouldn’t, she couldn’t help him, she couldn’t help herself. She couldn’t be around him, not while he looked so much like she did.”

Chapter Text

Chapter seventeen

Monday (Day after the previous chapter)

7:12 AM 

Robb was brushing his teeth while Theon was shaving. “I think I should grow a mustach.” Robb shot Theon a look. “Dude, no, you’d look shit with a mustache.” Theon frowned as he dragged the razor down his face. “Shut up, you don’t know shit. You can’t even grow hair anywhere besides your head.” Robb rolled his eyes. “I know, but even I can tell it’d look horrible.” Robb spat into the sink. He picked up his hair brush and was about to run it through his hair when he paused. “Do you think dad would let me stay home today?” Theon raised an eyebrow. “Why?” Robb sighed. “I don’t wanna leave alone, he was crying all night and he’s really messed up looking.” Jons head had been covered in bandaids and bandages to cover the giant tears and cuts in his scalp, his hands that were usually covered in bandaids were now wrapped up completely in bandages, blocking any view of his skin. A hint of sadness entered Theons eyes. “Yeah, I know. Last night I saw Catelyn rebandaging his hands, his nails looked infected, same with a bunch of the cuts.” Robb hadn’t seen the wounds on Jon’s hands and the ideas that they were infected made Robb even more nervous. “That's an even better reason for why I should stay with him. What if something bad happens? Like really bad and he’s alone.” Theon turned to Robb with the shaving cream still on his face. “He’s not gonna be alone. Cat’s gonna be watching him.” Theon reassured. “Yeah but mom also has Rickon to watch and dads gonna be at work. What if something happens when she goes to stop Rickon from eating dog food again?” Theon thought for a moment. “Okay, how about this. I’ll drop you brats off at school then when I get home I’ll sit with Jon until you get home, I’ll make sure he’s safe and nothing bad happens. Okay?” Robb looked up at Theon, he nodded in agreement before tearing up. Theon’s eyes flashed with concern. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Don’t cry, don’t cry.” Robb flung his arms around Theon. “I just want Jon to be okay.” Theon started rubbing Robbs back. “He’ll be okay. Jon is a tough little bastard. He’s hurt now but he just needs rest.” Robb started rubbing his eyes to dry his tears. “Thanks, Theo…” Robb murmured. “For what, stating the obvious? Someone with half a brain could tell you that.” Theon pinched Robbs shoulder, Robb let out a giggle and smacked Theons hand. “Asshole.” Robb pulled away from Theon, his eyes were still full of water but he was smiling now. Theon looked at Robbs hair and laughed. “You got some of my shaving cream in your hair.” Robb looked in the mirror, he did indeed have a big blob of shaving cream in his hair. “Fuck.” Robb turned on the sink and put his head under the tap until the shaving cream went down the drain. “Give me a towel.” Theon threw a towel at Robb which Robb caught and wrapped around his head.

POV switch

8:03 AM

All children were dropped off at school, Ned was at work. Theon grabbed a bag of chips and a few juice boxes from the kitchen pantry before going up the stairs until he got to Robb and Jon’s room. Jon was lying in the inflatable mattress, swollen eyes closed, curled into a little ball and wrapped in blankets. ‘Poor whelp looks fucking pathetic.’ Theon thought. “Theon, is there something you need?” Theons eyes went to Catelyn, she was sitting on Robbs bed, a bible in her hand and watching over Jon. “No, I just dropped the rugrats off at school.” Theon answered. “Thank you.” Catelyn replied. Theon looked back down at Jon then to Catelyn again. “I can stay with Jon if you want.” Catelyn smiled but shook her head. “That's very sweet but it’s fine.” Theon might have usually just been happy to be dismissed of responsibility but not this time. He had promised an anxious Robb he would take care of Jon. “Please, Cat, I promised Robb I would watch him. He’s really freaked out about everything that’s happening and wants me to. He’ll be pissed if I don’t. Isn’t there anything you want to do right now besides watching Jon?” Catelyn seemed hesitant but relented. “I suppose. I wouldn’t want you to break your promise and Rickons been a bit fussy for a while so I should go tend to him.” Catelyn stood up and walked towards Theon. “Theon, if you are still watching Jon when he wakes up you must be gentle. If you make him upset while he’s in this state you will be in trouble. I will not have Jon run away from home again.” Theon cringed and felt a weave of guilt go through him at the reminder of what had happened. “I won’t do that again. I’m trying to be better.” Catelyns stern demeanor softened. “I know you are, and I’m proud of you for that.” Catelyn kissed Theons forehead, giving Theon a warm fuzzy feeling. He smiled, sometimes he felt like Catelyn was his real mother, sometimes he wished she was, he knew it was bad, he had a mother. A mother that he hadn’t seen in years but a mother, Catelyn could never replace his mother, even if he wished she could.

Theon had settled himself next to Jon’s mattress, looking down at his broken cousin. Jon looked even worse up close. Theon felt guilt build up in him, looking at Jon. his mind flashed back to when he was driving Jon to see Griff, how he freaked out and tore out his hair, how Theon helped Jon style his hair to hide it. ‘I should have told Ned and Catelyn, I should have made sure you were okay.’ Theon felt disgusted with himself. He thought he was helping Jon, and maybe he was when Jon was meeting griff but afterwards Theon should have told someone. Maybe he could have done something. “I’m sorry, runt.” Theon whispered, gently rubbing Jon’s bandaged up head. 

Jon’s eyelids twitched, his glassy irritated eyes opened. “Theo?” Jon murmured. “Hey, whelp…How are you feeling?” Theon asked. Jon paused for a few moments before pressing his head back into the pillow. “Yeag, guess that’s a stupid question. It feels like the skys falling, don’t it?” Jon nodded slowly. “It feels like nothing is going to be okay ever again and you just want everything to stop because it’s all too much. Everythings loud and scary and that life won’t be the same ever again.” Jon raised his head slightly, he looked confused. “Yeah…That’s exactly how it feels.” Theon scooted closer to Jon. “And it feels like everyone is trying to make you okay when nothing could possibly make something like this okay, and it’s so fucking frustrating.” Jon furrowed his brow. “Exactly, It’s like the world is falling and people are telling me to just chill out…” Jon’s voice was sore and painful sounding. “Exactly. No one saying sweet lies will make you feel better and while they have the best intentions you just need to cry and let this shit out. Be angry, be sad, be hurt because if you don’t let this out now you’ll be fucked up.” Jon’s breathing began to speed up and an anger entered his teary eyes. “I am so upset and sad but…I think I’m mostly angry.” Jon sat up fully, he was gripping his blankets. “Good, good, admit what you're feeling.” Jon took a deep breath. “I am so fucking angry, I’m angry at my dad for making me feel this way and abandoning me, I didn’t fucking do anything. And I’m angry because I thought he might love me.” Jon was trying to keep his tone steady. “Go on.” Theon knew Jon needed this. “I’m angry at Griff for telling dad about our meeting when he said he wouldn’t! He said he wanted to avoid drama, this is fucking drama, dumbass!” Jon’s voice began to raise. “Yeah, what a douchebag!” Theon would encourage Jon to let it out as long as he needed it. “Yeah, fuck it! He is a douchebag! I just wanted to know my big brother and that fucking bitch stabs me in the back, why would he do that!? Was that his plan from the beginning?!” Jon raged. He began pulling at his pillow cover, it looked like it might rip. “What else?” Theon asked. “And…! And….Fuck! I’m mad at my mom! She just keeps leaving me! I needed her and she keeps leaving and I don’t understand why!” Tears were flowing from Jon’s eyes. “I know she struggles but I needed her, I need her, she’s my mom and she just left me when I was hurt and crying and I’m so angry! Why can’t she just stay and love me!? And I hate her! I hate dad! I hate Griff!” Jon develoved into sobs. Theon slowly reached forward and hugged Jon. “And I hate that I still love them!...I’m angry that I can’t make myself hate them…” Jon was shaking, he reached up to grab a piece of his hair but Theon took his hands in his and held them. “That's one of the worst parts. You can’t forget or forgive but you can’t hate them. It’s hell.” Theon thought back to his own family, his father, his mother, his brothers, his sister, his uncles. Theon was extremely familiar with everything Jon felt, the feeling of loss, anger, abandonment, he knew it felt like hell. He noticed Jon trying to pick off the bandages on his fingers to get to his flesh. Theon pulled Jon’s hands apart. “No, they’ve hurt you enough on their own. Will you really give them the satisfaction of being so hurt that now you’re doing it to yourself?” Jon paused and looked down at his damaged hands. “No, no, I won’t. Not this time.” Theon smiled slightly. “But…I really, really want to.” Jon murmured. Theon paused, he knew Jon would want to pick at himself or pull his hair, he’d been doing since he was little. He stood up, walked over to Robbs desk and dug around in it until he found an elastic band. “Put this on your wrist.” Theon tossed it to Jon. Jon raised an eyebrow. “Why?” Theon sat back down next to Jon and rolled his eyes, though it was more playful than annoyed. “Snap and pull it whenever you want to pick at your hands or pull your hair. I read it helps with that type of stuff.” Jon looked surprised. “You read!?” Theon huffed. “Yes, I read!” Jon began to giggle. “Well this is news to me!” Theon would usually get pissed but it was nice to see Jon laugh instead of cry. He gently but firmly punched Jon in the arm. “Shut up, whelp.” Jon punched Theon back. “You shut up, squid breath.” 

POV switch

3:17 PM

‘For some reason mother came and picked me up instead of Theon, something about not disturbing him and Jon?’ Robb walked up the stairs and into his room. A warm smile instantly appeared on his face. Jon and Theon were lying in Jon’s bed, arms around each other's necks like they had been trying to put the other in a headlock. They both looked peaceful, Jon looked less distressed. Robb took off his jacket and backpack, tossed them in the corner and slowly crawled into bed with them, careful to avoid waking them up. He wrapped an arm around each and leaned his head on Theons shoulder. The peace and quiet were comforting, Robb soon drifted to sleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter Eighteen 

Tuesday 4:23 PM (day after last chapter)

Griff had been bored and grounded in his room ever since he was dragged back home after running away. His mother was upset, his father didn't seem to care. Griff Was lying in bed scrolling through his phone when he came across a picture Jon was tagged in, it was a bunch of puppies in a dog park. One of them was Ghost, Jon's dog. When Griff and Jon had met up Jon had shown Griff a picture of the pup. Griff smiled and liked the picture, he clicked on Jon's profile and opened their messages.

Griff: Hey, Jon, wanna hang out this Friday? There's this cat cafe near my house, it's really nice and has a cottage core type aesthetic. I know you like dogs but cats are cute too right? I was thinking we could bring Rhaenys with us this time, I know she’d love to meet you.

Griff had decided he liked his little half-brother, he wanted to bring Rhaenys to one of their meet-ups. He knew she would want to meet Jon. Griff saw Jon’s account go online and a seen icon appeared under his text. He waited excitedly for a response but no text bubbles appeared.

Suddenly a notification popped up in the chat that rendered Griff dumbfounded.

‘Your account has been blocked from sending messages to this account’ 

Jon had blocked him, why would he do that? They had such an amazing time hanging out together, Griff thought they had genuinely formed a connection so what happened.

POV switch

“What should I say?” Robb and Theon were both leaning over Jon's shoulder glaring at the message from Griff. “What an asshole, pretending things are perfectly fine after what he did.” Robb nodded in agreement with Theon. “Yeah, sorry Jon, I know I haven't met him but he seems like such a douche…” Jon felt his stomach bubbling with anger as he stared at the text. “Bet he just wants to piss off his dad again with me.” Jon grumbled. “Maybe you should tell him you know, give him some shit.” Theon suggested. “yeah, yeah, why not?”

Jon began typing.

Jon: hi Griff, I'm afraid I'm not interested in hanging out with you based on the fact I've learned that you are an asshole. Why would you tell dad we met up when you said you wouldn't? I just wanted a brother but instead I was given the misfortune of meeting you. Go rot and die, bitch.

Theon snorted as he read the message. “You tell that cunt.” Jon was about to press the send button but he stopped and reread Griff's text message. The idea of spending time with the half-siblings he was now barred from seeing was so appealing but Griff had already hurt him. ‘Why does he sound so sweet over text? I'm mad at him.’ Jon's lip trembled slightly, as he hesitantly erased his message and simply clicked the block button. “Done.” Jon tossed his phone back onto the couch. Robb gave Jon a sympathetic look and rubbed his back. Theon stood up and grabbed three root beers from his mini fridge and handed two of them to the younger boys. “Thanks, Theo.” Robb smiled. “Yeah, thanks.” Jon smiled slightly but he just felt miserable after reading Griff's text. The idea of seeing his siblings, not just Griff, both of them made him want to sob. Theon flopped back on the couch wrapping an arm around Robb and Jon. 

POV switch (Again)

Catelyn had left the kids at home with Theon since Ned was at work. Catelyn had something she needed to do. She knocked on the apartment door and waited and waited….she checked her watch and began tapping her foot. She banged on the door, she would be answered. Eventually she heard a loud groan and the door opened exposing a tired barely awake looking Lyanna. When Lyanna saw Catelyn her eyes widened and she tried to slam the door shut in her face but catelyn put her foot in the door and pushed her way in. “You know this is technically breaking and entering right?” Lyanna had a deep scowl on her face. “You know you’ve technically committed several accounts of child abandonment over the years.” An offended look settled over Lyannas face. “It isn’t abandonment! Jon’s with you and Ned.” Catelyns nose twitched in annoyance. “Lyanna, you ran off after your child was disowned by his father, you’ve answered no calls, not mine, not Ned’s, certainly not Jon’s.” Catelyn took a deep breath in between sentences to avoid yelling at Lyanna. “You need to come back with me. Jon needs his mother right now.” An odd guilty look appeared on the grey eyed womens face. “I can’t…” Catelyn groaned, she was sick of her sister in law's excuses. “Yes you can!” Lyanna shook her head. “No! No I just…I can’t deal with him like that.” Catelyn raised a brow. “Like what?” Lyanna rubbed her eyes. “Like…emotional. He’s so emotional. I just can’t take it. I wasn’t meant to be a mother, I love him but he’s just so much to handle!” Bullshit, that was Catelyns first thought. She had helped raise Jon, she raised him more than Lyanna did. Jon had emotional needs like all children did. Jon loved his mother and clung to her when she was around, but if anything Lyanna got more comfort from Jon than Jon got from her. “Don’t say that. Lyanna, Jon loves you as much as possible and he doesn’t ask for much. He’s been more emotional than usual because he keeps getting beaten down by everything. Rhaegars already fully abandoned him, you can’t do the same.” Catelyn was desperate to just get Lyanna to take care of Jon, he needed it. Lyanna avoided Catelyns eye. “He can take it…he’s tough, he’ll be fine after a few days.” Catelyn began playing around with her wedding ring. “No he can’t. You saw him, he’s tearing himself apart. He can’t take it. He’s a fourteen year old boy.” Tears began filling Lyannas grey eyes. Catelyn hesitantly leaned forward and rubbed her shoulder, she wiped Lyannas tears with her free hand. “You once told me that your children were your joy…Jon was never my joy, when he was little, he gave me some happiness but as he’s grown up I’ve realized what he is.” Catelyn felt her stomach twist as she waited for Lyanna to continue. “He’s my pain. All the pain and torment I ever felt in a human form. He is mine, he is me, he’s just like me. I created a child made of my pain and it’s reached a stage where I can finally see that…Just looking at him opens every old wound in me.” CAtelyn felt a deep sadness in her, it was not Lyannas fault she felt like this. She was a truly hurt woman but Jon was a child whose only crime had been having an unfourtunate birth. “I’m sorry, I know you're hurt.” Lyanna nodded, tears flowing down her cheeks. “But you must understand that this mental state won’t let you be a good mother. I know you do love Jon but if you can’t be a mother you can’t keep dropping in and out of his life. It’s unhealthy.” Catelyn knew she should comfort Lyanna more but Jon was a child who was Catelyns to protect and care for. “So what should I do?” Lyanna asked in a broken voice. “I don’t know.”

POV switch

4:45 PM

“Dad, I need to talk to you.” Griff entered Rhaegars office with a sour look on his face. Rhaegar had his nose buried in a book, he didn’t even bother looking up. “Yes, Aegon?” Griff walked up to Rhaegars desk and slammed his arms down on the wooden surface, causing the books, papers and desk ornaments to shake. “Jon blocked me. No explanation. What did you do?” Rhaegar flipped through the pages of his book, still not looking at Griff. “Why do you think I did anything?” Something in Griff snapped at his fathers completely disinterested tone, he ripped the book out of Rhaegars hand and threw it against the wall. “What did you do?!” Rhaegar slowly looked up at Griff, he still wasn’t expressing any emotion. The only change was Rhaegar furrowing his brows. “If you must know, I filed papers to give up my parental rights over Jon.” Griffs jaw dropped. “What the actual fuck!?” He knew Rhaegar was an asshole but he always thought that his saving grace was that he provided for his family but this was just cruel. “He was a bad influence. I never bothered to do it before but now he’s been interacting with you. Fueling your rebellion. You ran away for gods sake. He had to be removed.” He talked about Jon like he was an ugly piece of decor to be gotten rid of at a garage sale, it was disgusting. “I didn’t run away because Jon told me to. I barely even ran away, I just slept over at Loras’ house. I came back after school the next day when mom called.” Rhaegar just shrugged. Griff grabbed him by the sleeve. Rhaegar grabbed Griffs hand and pushed it away, when Griff continued trying to grab at him Rhaegar smacked Griff across the face, “Fuck!” Griff loudly cursed, he began rubbing his cheek. The heavy doors of the office opened again, Elia quickly stepped in. “What is going on here?” Griff felt so incredibly overwhelmed that tears were forming in his eyes. “Dads an asshole!” Griff quickly pushed past Elia and dashed out of the room. Elia gave Rhaegar a cold look. “What did you do?” Rhaegar let out a deep sigh. “He’s upset because I’ve given up my parental rights over Lyannas son.” Elias' eyes widened, she put her hand to Rhaegars cheek. “Do you want to reiterate that?” She questioned. “He’s been in contact with Griff, I decided he was a bad influence so I-” Rhaegar was cut off with a firm smack to his cheek, it wouldn’t bruise but it would most certainly sting. “You disowned one of your children, what is wrong with you?” Rhaegar put his hand over his now red cheek. “Why should you care? It’s not yours, you’ve never cared to meet him.” Elia rubbed her temples. “I never cared to meet him because I prefer to ignore that you cheated on me. That does not give you permission to ignore him as well, you made him. I may not be interested in him but he’s your son! There's a reason I insisted you do visitation with him at least once a month. Every child deserves parents, the poor boy.” Elia's tone was tired and annoyed. “I don’t understand the problem, he still has a mother. He should be content.” Elia looked into Rhaegars eyes, they were devoid of any sympathy or warmth. “You are truly one of the saddest men I’ve ever met.” Elia turned on her heel and left the room, she walked up the stairs and went into Griff’s room. He had his face shoved into his pillow. She sat next to him and began patting his head. “I wish I never told him I was in contact with Jon. I just wanted to piss him off, I didn’t think he’d throw away an entire kid.” Griff mumbled quietly. “Most people wouldn’t throw away their children but unfortunately your father is not like most people.” Griff looked up at her, his cheek was beginning to turn purple and bruise. Elia took his face in her hands and kissed his cheek. “It’ll be alright.” she brushed his blue bangs out of his face. “I hate him, I wish he wasn’t my father.” There was a sense of irony in those words but she chose not to point it out, instead continuing to hold her son.

Chapter Text

Chapter nineteen

Sunday (the weekend after the previous chapter.)

1:38 PM

The last few weeks had been horrible, pain-filled, and in general miserable but now Jon couldn't help but feel a sense of calm and normalcy as he felt those soft hands. One rubbing his patchy haired scalp, and one on his lower back pushed up under his shirt. Those hands were filled with warmth, love and sunshine. Life was cruel but at least it allowed Jon a chance to calm down and relax with his handsome love. “So I told Loras that he couldn’t borrow my calligraphy pen for art but that absolute ass took it anyways, I confronted him about it but he denied it.” Satin had petty and frequent fights with Loras Tyrell, a boy in their grade. It all started when Loras 'copied’ Satin’s art project by painting a garden of red roses when Satin had painted a garden of white roses. Jon found the whole thing stupid but happily listened to Satin’s complaints. “He’s a cunt.” he rubbed his cheek against Satin’s hand. “Oh I know! If I wasn’t on my final strike for fighting I’d smack that pretty bitch.” Satin huffed as he cupped Jon’s cheek. “If you want I’ll go to school tomorrow and fuck him up.” He suggested. Jon got into way more fights then Satin, the only reason Jon hadn’t been expelled was because he goes through such long periods of not going to school that by the time he came back no one remembered or cared anymore. Satin smiled gleefully. “Tempting offer, but you sure you wanna go back to school yet?” Jon shrugged, he never wanted to go back to school but it’s been awhile, with everything happening no one had been bugging him about going to school. It was nice but he knew Satin and Sam missed him when he didn’t go for too long, plus he needed to remind certain people to leave his friends alone or face the consequences. “Yeah, maybe we can meet up with Sam tomorrow morning and walk together?” Jon hated taking the bus, so did Sam. It had too many loud and obnoxious people on it. “That sounds nice.” Satin’s hand went from Jon’s cheek to the back of his neck, rubbing it lovingly. “I’ll text Sam to let him know the plan.” Satin took out his phone with his free hand and began fiddling with it. “Sounds good. Maybe after we could go to Mcdonalds?” Jon slowly pushed a hand up Satin’s black velvet tank top. “That would be nice, darling.” Satin leaned down and pressed a kiss to Jon’s lips.
“Yeah, that sounds great.” Robb’s voice interrupted them. Jon had nearly forgotten that they were in Theon’s basement with Robb and Theon and not alone together. Jon glanced at his cousins. Robb was smiling awkwardly and drinking a soda while Theon had a slightly annoyed look on his face. “Finally remember that we’re here too?” Satin shot Theon a dirty look. “Unfortunately, yes.” For some reason Satin and Theon seemed to have a mutual distaste. Jon found it odd since in his mind Satin was one of the most lovely people on this planet but then he remembered that Theon had no taste and that no one with half a brain would find Theon to be anything but annoying. “Fucking pint sized brat.” Theon hissed venomously at Satin. “Ugly overgrown tumor.” Satin spat back. Jon and Robb both started giggling, though Robb tried to hold it in while Jon fully let the laughter spew from his mouth. Satin looked down at Jon who was still lying his head on Satin’s lap and pressed a kiss to his lips. Jon loved times like these, times that made him feel safe again, times where it was just him, Satin, Robb and Theon. To Jon this was the definition of relief. “Get a fuckin room.” Theon commented. “Get a life.” Satin grumbled. Jon sat up and leaned against a couch cushion but kept a hand on Satin’s thigh. “You cunt, this is my basement, my room! You can’t just bitch at me here.” Theon kicked off the desk chair he was sitting on, he moved forward and crouched so he was at Satins sitting level. “Don’t tell me what to do or I’m breaking your ugly ass nose again.” Satin pushed Theon back. Robb sighed and walked forward, taking Theon by the shoulders. “Alright you two, calm down. No ones breaking anyone's nose.” Satin crossed his arms and leaned back into the couch with a pout. Theon mouthed ‘Bitch’ at Satin but didn’t do anything else. Jon wrapped an arm around Satin who in turn leaned his head against Jon’s shoulder. His eldest cousin may be an idiot and his boyfriend may want to break his cousin's nose but it still felt soothing to Jon who for the last few weeks had been on the verge of breaking down. “You know what I just remembered?” Robb spoke in a tone Jon recognized. It was the tone Robb used to deflect anger. He’d keep a topic in mind and then when two people around him started fighting he’d talk about it. He used this strategy to get Theon and Jon to stop fighting dozens of times. “What?” Theon asked in an annoyed tone, he was also familiar with that tone and didn’t care for it. “In a week it’s Jon’s birthday.” Jon immediately rolled his eyes. Jon didn’t exactly care for his birth at the moment, the people responsible for his birth probably wouldn’t be around, they very rarely were even before this. Lyanna got depressed and melancholy around his birthday and usually left the week before, Rhaegar had showed up once for his birthday when he was seven but left halfway through. Most years Rhaegar would promise to show up but then something in his ‘busy schedule’ would come up and he would miss it. ‘At least this year he won’t be promising me anything since I’m not his kid anymore’ Jon thought. “Oh yeah, You’re gonna be fifteen, wonder if you’ll finally stop looking like a twelve year old.” Theon teased. “Bite me.” Jon replied. Satin snorted and began running his fingers through Jon’s messy hair. “What do you want for your birthday?” Jon wanted functional parents but decided that instead of saying something stupid that would bum everyone out Jon went with the second thing he wanted. “Some treats for Ghost and a pair of new boots, my pair I’m using is falling apart.” Jon didn’t want much at the moment besides forgetting the fact his birth was the day he ‘ruined’ his parents lives. Most years Jon did enjoy his birthdays to some extent but right now it would be too much. “Maybe we could have a sleepover for your birthday?” Jon thought it was ridiculous that Robb would suggest that when Jon already slept in Robb’s room more then he slept in his own at home. “Isn’t that what we’re already doing?” Theon spoke up. “Yeah but we can stay up later, have sodas. Maybe we can convince dad to push our bedtime back a bit.” Satin giggled at the mention of a bed time. “You guys have a bedtime?” Robb nodded. “Yeah 11:00 PM.” Theon grumbled something under his breath about the stupidity of a bedtime being posed on him even though he was nineteen. Catelyn and Ned wanted all children in bed by 11:00 PM, 12:00 AM or 1:00 AM if it was for a special occasion. Jon truthfully didn’t mind the bedtime, he found it oddly nice having a schedule since at home with Lyanna he had no rules and everything else in his life was so chaotic though he knew his cousins would wanna stay up late and party if they got the opportunity. “We could have a sleepover at my house, no supervision.” Jon suggested. “Isn’t aunt Lya still there?” Theon scoffed at Robb. “Being watched by aunt Lya is essentially like being unsupervised.” Jon nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I say we bring some weed, sodas and snacks, have a little party.” Jon used the term ‘party’ loosely. He only wanted his cousins, Satin and Sam at any party. Anything more and it was too exhausting.

POV switch\time jump

6:00 PM

‘Gods, Lya, just do it you pussy’ she told herself angrily. She had to do it, she just had to. ‘We need to at least try it before I do anything rash.’ She dialed the number into her phone. After a few seconds a voice answered “Mom?” Lyanna almost didn’t want to answer to that voice, to the title she was given the moment he was born. “Hi, kid. I uh, i thought I should call you to check in, how are you?” She knew it was a horrible thing to ask after she had spent the last week ignoring any calls and trying to forget she had a child. There was a tense silence, it was so quiet she almost thought he had hung up or the line had died. “I’m alright. What’s up?” Jon sounded wary, like he was hesitant to answer to her. “I’m fine, sweetheart. I just…I just wanted to apologize about what happened the last time I saw you. I was stressed and usually you’re so independent so you don’t need me that often and I just couldn’t handle it. I’m really sorry.” She stammered out. She didn’t want to say the truth so she only partially said it. She was stressed, Jon was usually independent, but she wouldn’t say that the reason it was all so stressful was because he reminded her of herself at his age, she wouldn’t say that she was now more than ever starting to regret ever having a child. “I’m so sorry baby, please just understand where I was coming from.” Lyanna pleaded. Jon let out a broken sounded sigh that made Lyanna feel even more horrible. “It’s okay mom.” Lyanna knew that was a plain faced lie, anyone could tell it was a lie, a sad one at that but she wouldn’t comment on it. “Thank you, I was worried you’d be upset with me…Do you wanna come home now?” Lyanna questioned, she expected Jon’s reaction to be an immediate ‘yes’ as it usually was when she was about to take him home. “Do you want me home?” What she wasn’t expecting was to be asked that of all things. Did she really want him home? She wanted to want him home but she knew the answer was no. All her child did was remind her of the mistakes she made as a lovestruck teenage girl, all he did was remind her of who his father was but she couldn’t say that, she had to at least try and live with him. She had to try and be a mother or else...well the other options she had considered weren’t ideal. “Of course I want you home, you’re my little buddy. The house is so quiet without you. Please come home.” she liked the quiet house, she liked not having to be near Rhaegar's spawn. Her feelings made her feel even more guilty when she heard Jon say “I’ll go pack my things.” He sounded happy, much more perked up then he had initially sounded, like her loving sounding lies had cheered him up.

POV swap

Catelyn had just tucked Rickon into bed, usually Ned would join her in putting their children to bed but he had a migraine and was recuperating in bed so instead it was just her. She walked through the halls, checking for any mess made during the day. She picked up a plastic dagger left behind by Arya, some of Rickon's socks, some bones the dogs had left around. As she was cleaning she felt someone hug her side. Jon had clung onto her and Catelyn felt an immediate worry fill her, had something happened? Had he hurt himself again? “Sweetling, is everything alright?” Jon looked up at her with a big smile. “Mom called, she wants me to come back home now. Can you bring me home? Please, Aunt Cat?” Last Catelyn had talked to Lyana it didn’t seem like she wanted Jon back home at all. This switch wouldn’t be uncommon for Lyanna but it filled her with dread at the idea of bringing her nephew, who had spent the last few days recovering from one break down and trying to keep him from entering another, back to his mother who wasn’t making the situation any better gave Catelyn a sick feeling.
“That’s lovely, Jon, but right now? It’s getting late.” Catelyn wanted to keep him home, she desperately wanted to make sure he was safe and with Lyanna she couldn’t guarantee that. “If you can’t drive me I can take the bus.” She didn’t want him taking the bus, she just wanted him to stay so she could protect him but she knew that Jon wanted to go home, she knew he wanted his mother. “I’ll take you home.” Jon bounced on the spot. “Thank you aunt cat!” he bounded down the stairs.

Chapter Text

Chapter twenty

Monday 6:15 AM

If there was one thing Jon hated it was waking up early, alas, he had promised Satin he would punch Loras Tyrell at school today. Jon got out from under his covers as did Ghost who had been sleeping on his legs all night, he was in his bedroom, at home. Usually that meant no rules, sleeping all day, maybe hanging out with Lyanna. Jon went to his closet and pulled out a grey hoodie, some ripped jeans that Satin had patched for him, his sneakers and a black beanie. After getting dressed Jon looked at himself in the mirror. This had been the first time he had looked at himself in a few days. His lips were cracked, he had big bags under his eyes and even with the beanie on you could still see the missing clumps of hair and the bloody cuts on his head. Jon sighed, hair pulling was a great relief but he hated the way it made him look, he felt ugly. The hair that was still on his head was knotted. Jon took off the beanie and picked up his brush, he thought he should at least try to fix what remained on his head. 

After doing the best he could to fix his hair he walked out of his room and into the living room. Lyanna was lying on the couch covered by a quilt. “Good morning, mom.” Ghost crawled onto the couch and laid on Lyanna’s stomach. “Morning kid…” she mumbled with her eyes closed and sleepily petted Ghost. “What time is it?” Jon looked at the clock on the wall. “6:25, I gotta go to school today.” Lyanna’s eyebrows raised. “Kid, you know you can ditch, I’m not a stick in the mud like Ned and Cat.” Jon knew he could stay home, he kinda wanted to stay home and spend time with Lyanna but he had made a promise. “Satin’s having trouble with this guy at school so I promised to go in and punch him in the face.” Lyanna snorted. “Alright, have fun, sweetie.” she opened her eyes, she was smiling then she looked at him, his face and her smile faltered before she quickly put it back in place. Jon had noticed her doing this when she looked at him more often, like she was uncomfortable with how he looked. He kept telling himself it was just because she didn’t like seeing the wounds on his head, they weren’t exactly pretty but for some reason he felt like she wasn’t just uncomfortable with his wounds. “Are you okay?” he asked. Lyanna stood up and gave him a hug. “Don’t ask silly questions.” That wasn’t an answer but he didn’t like pressing Lyanna for answers. He was just happy to be home again, after everything that happened with Rhaegar and Griff he just wanted to be with his mother. 

7:00 AM 

Jon, Satin and Sam had walked to school together, they were getting their things out of their lockers. “You should wait till after lunch to punch Loras, that way you won’t have to flee till the day is already halfway over.” Satin suggested as he pulled out some books. “Sounds good.” Jon nodded ‘that also means I won’t miss history’ Jon liked history, it was the only school subject he really cared for, the other ones felt so boring compared to history, he liked hearing about old kings and warriors, especially since a lot of the kings of old were Jon’s ancestors before they were all deposed and a democracy was put in place a few hundred years ago. He had at first gotten into history to feel closer to his family but he actually liked it. “I’m still not sure you should just punch Loras Tyrell in front of everyone.” Sam packed his books into his school bag. “He deserves it. He keeps copying my flower drawings in art.” Satin scowled. “Don’t all the Tyrells draw flowers, wear flowery clothes and do everything in a flowery way?” Satin sighed and rubbed his face. “Sam, you don’t get it! Jon, tell him.” Jon did know Sam was right, and in every other circumstance he probably would agree with Sam but Satin was his boyfriend so he was on his side in this. “I think Satin’s right, Sam. Loras sits next to Satin in art and draws really similar stuff, he’s probably copying.” Satin smiled as Jon took his side. Jon loved Satin’s smile. It was beautiful, just like the rest of him. Even after months of dating Jon still got butterflies looking at him.

POV switch

‘Why is it that good men are punished for protecting what they believe in?’ Rhaegar had pondered that question many times. Currently his son Aegon was ignoring him, and Elia was being colder to him than usual. Sure he could understand Aegon's reasons. Aegon was going through a disobedient phase but Elia had never even wanted to meet Rhaegar's affair child, apparently she was ‘upset’ by the idea of him discarding the child that had caused nothing but trouble. ‘Why can’t she just understand that I am trying to do what's best for our family? For our son? I was just trying to eliminate the causes for him to misbehave.’ Rhaegar sighed and leaned back into his chair rubbing his temples. 

The study's door opened and Connington entered. “Rhaegar, you have a call.” Upon seeing that Connington had a disgusted look on his face, Rhaegar immediately knew who it was. “What does Lyanna want now?” The other man shrugged and handed the phone to Rhaegar. “What do you want?” Rhaegar put the phone to his ear. “I want to know why you've completely abandoned Jon with me!” Lyanna’s voice was thick with anger. “You're just now asking me? It's been days, the situation is handled. He was causing problems.” He tapped his fingers against his desk. “Handled? You think you can just renounce parental rights and have it just ‘be handled’? That's not how it works!” without missing a beat Rhaegar replied with “Yes it is. That's exactly how it works, the papers have been filed, I have no legal responsibility over him anymore.” Lyanna groaned. “You don't think I find being a parent annoying? I hate being a mother, it's exhausting, it's inconvenient at best, but you don't see me just completely giving up all my parental rights.” Rhaegar stopped for a moment and thought. “Why don't you?” he heard Lyanna’s flabbergasted sputtering from the other end of the phone. “Are you kidding me?! Because I'm his mother!” He rolled his eyes. “But you hate it. And don't act like you even take care of him. We both know you leave him at your brother's house whenever you can. Honestly I think you'd be much happier if you just committed to your choice instead of leaving him off and on again.” There was a tense silence before the line went dead. “Foolish girl…”

POV switch

12:18 PM

Jon winced, though Satin’s hands were kind and gentle they didn't take away the stinging sensation in his hands from where his fist had collided with Loras Tyrell's nose. As Satin wrapped the bandages tightly around Jon's knuckles he would occasionally press kisses against them before starting a new layer. “Do you think they're broken?” Satin asked. “Maybe…if they are then it's not that bad, doesn't even hurt much.” That was a lie, they hurt like hell and Jon was about 85% sure they were broken but he didn't wanna admit that in front of Satin. Ever since they had met Jon played injuries cool In front of Satin. He didn't like Satin worrying about him…he also didn't like the idea of seeming like a baby around Satin. Jon felt very comfortable around Satin but there was a limit to it. The past week or so had gone past that limit. Satin had seen him physically and emotionally distressed for multiple days in a row and it made Jon feel a bit uneasy. He knew Satin wouldn't make fun of him for it but still, he knew he'd feel embarrassed if he complained about his pain. Jon didn't want anyone to see him hurt or vulnerable for the next couple of months at least. “Are you sure, darling? Your hand looks really bruised.” He nodded. “Positive, they're fine.” Satin kissed Jon's knuckles again before trailing kisses up Jon's scarred arm. “Good.” A goofy slightly flustered grin spread across Jon's face. Jon loved the feeling of Satin’s warm lips on his skin. It felt so sweet. They then froze as they heard footsteps enter the room. They had been so wrapped up in each other that they had forgotten that they were hiding in a stall in the boys bathroom. Satin mouthed ‘fuck’ against Jon's arm and they both made an effort to try and shut up and avoid the attention of whoever had just entered the bathroom. Usually they wouldn't really care if anyone was around but since the teachers were most definitely looking for Jon to punish him for punching Loras in the middle of the cafeteria they really didn't wanna get caught. The footsteps stopped in front of the stall. Jon was really hoping that it was just Sam. After they ate their lunch Sam had decided that he didn't want detention for being involved in punching Loras Tyrell so he just sat back and watched while Jon and Satin ran away. “Jon, are you in there?” Jon reached up and grabbed the top of the stall door, lifting himself up so he could see over the door. “Hi, Robb.” Robb snorted, Robb was wearing a yellow hall monitor sash. Robb had recently been appointed to be a school hall monitor which Jon found hilarious since Robb had been doing the exact same things Jon got in trouble for, minus the ditching school, for their entire lives and he was always helping Jon get away with stuff. “Why are you still here? Professor Thorne is individually checking rooms himself to try and find you.“ Jon let go of the door and opened it. “Ah fuck. We got distracted.” Satin wrapped his hand around Jon's injured one. “You think we can sneak out the front?” Robb paused before nodding. “Think so, last I saw Professor Thorne was in the gym. But you should go fast.” Jon and Satin quickly bolted for the door.

POV switch

After that call with Rhaegar Lyanna was pissed and conflicted. She wanted to punch Something. Everything felt so tiring nowadays. She was lying on the couch drinking a beer when her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and to her surprise it was Jon's school. The school never bothered to call her or if it did she never noticed. Her instincts told her to ignore the call but for some reason she picked up the phone. “Hello?” A man's cold voice replied. “Is this Ms Stark? This is Professor Thorne.” For some reason the sound of his voice annoyed her. “Yes, why are you calling me?” She replied in an annoyed tone. “I'm afraid your son assaulted another student and fled from the teachers.” She took a drink from her bottle. “Oh how horrible.” She didn't care. Jon had told her before he left what he was gonna do. Who was she to stop him? “I'm afraid this isn't a first offense. Jon has demonstrated violent and disobedient behavior before. He needs punishment.” She rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, I'll give him a talking to when she gets home.” the man scoffed. “Ms, this requires a bit more than a talking to.” she scrunched her nose up. “Oh trust me, I know what I'm doing. I'll deal with it.” She fully intended to never mention this to Jon. “Do you?” She was taken aback by that comment. “Excuse me?” She put the beer bottle in her lap. The man quickly replied back with “Do you know what you're doing? I can't seem to remember ever dealing with you when it comes to Jon's bad behavior, I've only ever dealt with his uncle and aunt.” She clenched her fists. “Are you calling me a bad mother?” There was a silence that only lasted five seconds at most but it was enough to cause anger to course through her. “I'm not a bad mother! I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!” She screamed into the phone before standing up, causing her bottle to crash to the ground before throwing her phone across the room. She was sick of people questioning her parenting. Parenting was hard, how could she get it right? It was impossible. Yet now even Jon's teachers seemed to judge her. Suddenly Rhaegar's words went through her mind.

‘I think you'd be much happier if you just committed to your choice’

Chapter Text

So I've had no motivation lately, I was planning on posting a bunch during summer break but I'm honestly depressed. I have idea but writing them is difficult, I no longer have a beta reader and I sincerely doubt that anyone really cares about my stories anymore. I'm planning to keep updating but it'll take awhile. Maybe soon I'll have a burst of creativity for this story and post something but I don't know. Thank you to anyone who's been reading.

Bye-bye for now.