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I did the final notch of my corset and reattached my hands to my arms. We had been planning our wedding for 12 years and we had finally raised 2 whole dollars by getting him to do a little Irish jig for 30 cents. I was wearing my mothers wedding dress to avoid spending anymore of our budget, a bit tight but it fit me.

My bridesmaid stood at the side, the two girls who had judged us that day, so he might’ve blowed their brains out but Hades said that they deserved to come so he lets them come out of Tartarus for a week, plus one other girl who claimed she was here for the lasagna and other food, than held me and my fiancé at finger-gun point until we shakily gave her an invitation. all wearing their very own trash bags, all holding a single flower made from snails shell and peeled out skin from my foot.

I thought back to put engagement, it’s was a beautiful sunny day, than a tornado came and picked up the remaining roof of my secret second father’s rented apartment, than Jesus himself came in from the hole in the roof, a plethora of angels surrounded us and informed us I was the next Virgin Mary, than he got down on one knee and proposed!

Out of nerve peaked my balding head out to see the guests, the clowns who had killed my parents and my sister sat at the side, sobbing off their white makeup and wiping their eyes with muscle tissue they had extracted from a nearby creepy uncle of my fiancé, their itte bitty tiny winy primary colour car crashed right behind the alter where our priest layed dead, I wiped a rainbow coloured tear from my orbs. Perfect.

I grabbed my bouquet and walked out as the fiancé- soon to be husband, appeared at the alter, a really big orange hamster but sorta like cat with no kneecaps than burst through the wall like the look-aid man and took the priest position, trampling the body with sicking cracks. The ceremony was about to begin.

My bridesmaids took their places behind be, the one that held me at gunpoint holding food and not paying attention. The groomsmen were wrestling and people were placing bets. I look at the aisle and see multiple rats scurrying across the floor and
I smile. The cat started talking, we placed the rings on eachothers fingers, but before I did I checked if we both had socks, it wasn’t gay so I heaved a relived breath and put the ring his finger

“Are there any objects to with holy matrimony? Speak now for forever hold your peace” the hamester cat said loudly

Just as the solange passed and we were about to kiss, I heard a gruff voice “I OBJECT!”

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“I OBJECT!”

Then he ran towards us, holding up put birth certificates “YOUR ARE BOTH MY SONS, I ALICE SON!” He yelled, he was right! He’s got scars across him “Eeeyiikkes I don’t wanna to be honest your kinda uggglyyy” I said, my husband agrees, than the ground shook, and with a pop it was hot, and dry, an herd on cows rushed Into the church, throwing around the parts of my sisters body like the flower cows they are, than I poked my head outside the church by simply extending my neck cause I can do that, I looked at the sign

“WELCOME TO ALABAMA”

Perfect.

I retracted my neck, getting read to seal the marriage with a kiss, then I heard the clack of legos and I see… Lego Batman?!?

He made it up to the alter, looking at me and taking off his helmet “please…I love you” he said in that rough voice, than I had an epiphany… I fell I love that day the the movie, but not with my confused looking fiancé… but with Lego Batman! My eyes welll with tears and I just into his arms, making my ex-husband drop dead, suddenly one of my bridesmaids turned into a really fucking ugly rat, and took his shirt off, ripping the beaters from his dead, cold ears and played a sweet melody form the gorilla glued xylophone on his chesas me and Lego Batman rode in the Alabama sunset, inside of his bat mobile. Together forever.