Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

          “Hey guys, what’s going on?”

          “Sunbaes!” Jay exclaimed when he saw Soobin and Beomgyu approaching. They stopped a few feet away. They had no bags, or anything. Jay wondered if they were on break.

          “Hey, we saw you down the hallway, locked out huh?” Beomgyu lifted his chin to try to peek at the door they were crowded around.

          “Yeah, Jay forgot to grab the key when he left after staying late last night.” Jake teased.

          “Shut up, it was 4 am.” Jay huffed. The two sunbaes chuckled.

          “We don’t blame you, Beomgyu’s had his fair share of getting locked out of things. One time he got locked in the practice room and we were all freaking out because we thought he’d been kidnapped.” Soobin snorted even as Beomgyu slapped his arm.

          “…That must have been scary.” Sunoo murmured. The TXT members noticed the sudden change in atmosphere. Wait. Right. Normal people don’t joke about that in their line of work.

          “Well, it’s in the past now!” Beomgyu spoke in a rather forced cheer, though none of the Enhypen members would be able to tell. “Let’s see what we can do about that lock.” He gently pushed his way through the members, arriving at the closed door. He jiggled the handle a little bit and peered through the keyhole.

          “Ah so it’s that kind of lock, when’d they get so fancy about it huh? This is a huge step up from ours…” He mumbled. Only Jay could hear him clearly by proximity, the rest had stepped back to give him space. “You almost get arrested three times and suddenly they don’t care to give you high quality locks, is that it?” Jay walked out of hearing range. He did not want to know. Unfortunately for the half-American boy, Beomgyu raised his voice soon after.

          “Soobin get Huening-ah, it’s not a standard grade surprisingly.” Soobin didn’t and instead approached the door as well.

          “Really?” He did the same motions as Beomgyu did, shaking the handle and eying the keyhole. “Interesting, well, I suppose that would fit. Harder to break into means harder to get.” He nodded and rose to his full height. “Well, if it’s related that increases our suspect pool the inside job. Perhaps one of the set designers or a safety team? I know some of them worked on the architecture and security of the building.”

          “I guess that calls for another investigative round of ‘find the mole.’” Beomgyu shrugged. “I’ll tell Taehyunnie.”

Jay mother henned his group away from the two with a strange urgency. They followed with unanswered questions.

“Yeah, I’ll get Kai, he has my wallet anyway.” He fished his phone out of his pocket.

          “Since when does he not? He breaks into things more than I lock myself out of things! He should really get his own set at this point.” Beomgyu huffed, the seven tensed at his words, he raised his phone up, assumingly texting Taehyun. Soobin turned to them.

          “I’m going to call Kai, he’s the best of us at this sort of thing so sit tight alright? We’ll have you in the room and practicing in no time.” He shot them a warm smile that instantly made them relax, including Jay. He then dialed Kai.

          “Hey Kai-ah, come over to Enhypen’s practice room, will you? And bring my wallet, they’ve been locked out of it and the lock isn’t standard grade.” A pause. “Yeah, I know right? I’m going to ask the BTS-hyungs about it later.” Another pause. “Yes, I know we learned how to pick it way back when, but you really think we remember it?”

Jay yanked his members back once more, Jungwon doing the same in alarm. They huddled together, whispering furiously. Soobin continued his phone call none the wiser.

“The amount of high-quality anti-theft locks worth thousands of won vs standard grades 800 won quick installers is literally like a needle in a haystack, it just doesn’t happen.”

          Beomgyu echoed it mockingly which made Soobin glare at him. “Yes, that was Beomgyu, no we won’t lock him in the closet, you know he’s claustrophobic.” He slung an arm over Beomgyu’s shoulders, winking at Enhypen mischievously. His face turned slightly confused when he saw they were facing away, but his attention was taken by the call. “After breakout number 56? The guy with the chainsaw? Come on, he literally told us in therapy!” The group of seven flinched collectively as they broke from their huddle to face them. Some faces pale, others confused, all alarmed.

          “Yah! Don’t go airing my fears to the dongsaengs! It’ll ruin my reputation!”

          “You ruin your reputation too much already, you have nothing to uphold at this point.” Soobin shot back. “Anyway, come quick.” He hung up.

          Silence purveyed as he pocketed his phone. Beomgyu noticed it first.

          “Soooo, how have you guys been?”

          “Um. Good.” Sunoo played with his fingers, avoiding eye-contact. Beomgyu and Soobin looked at each other in confusion. They were on friendly terms with the group last they’d checked. What changed?

          “That’s good, we’ve been doing about the same, I hear you’re gearing up for a comeback? I saw the trailer, it’s quite sexy.” Soobin did his best to wiggle his eyebrows, earning a hesitant laugh from the maknae.

          “Yeah, that, we were actually just about to start learning the choreography to one of the B-sides.” Heeseung responded this time, less hesitant than the others.

          “That’s cool,” Beomgyu grinned, “Does that mean I’m set to do a challenge with you fellow 01?” A louder than necessary, awkward laugh left the man.

          “Yeah sure.” His voice pitched slightly higher. Beomgyu frowned.

          “Is something the matter?”

          “No!” Jay said much too fast. “Well-” Kai rounded the corner with an overexcited squeal.

          “Soobinnie-hyung~! This is rare! Asking for your dear maknae’s help? As if you weren’t the one to break down the door of number 117’s apartment~” He rushed to hug the taller, rubbing his tummy in a much too affectionate manner for what his words were.

          “Well, check it out, can you do it or not?” Beomgyu changed the subject, dragging the taller to the door by his wrist. Kai stumbled along, hand in his front pocket. He pulled out a wallet, opened the wallet, slipped out two thin metal sticks bent differently, and jammed them in the lock.

          “Oh, so it’s that kind of lock,” he said completely blank faced. “When’d they get so fancy about it huh? this is a huge step up from ours.”

          “That’s what I said!” Beomgyu announced, more proud than frustrated.

          Kai twisted the sticks, pushing them further in and out and tugging them up and down. A few seconds later a distinct click was heard.

          “There we are!” He cheered, slipping out the sticks and opening the door. He turned to the rather terrified dongsaengs. “You never saw this alright?” He put a finger to his lips and strode towards where Beomgyu and Soobin had already moved away towards the hall they all came from. “Have a good practice!” he waved over his shoulder.

          “Taehyun’s started tracker duty, but we were late in informing him and parole officer 1 was seen on his way to our practice room, Yeonjun’s distracting him, but we have about five minutes before he realizes somethings up.” Soobin reported as they started walking away.

          “Only five? Hyung’s getting slow.” Kai giggled.

          “Be grateful we even have five, if it was you distracting him, we’d have none. Or did you forget that you were the one who got caught three times in our last game of freezetag?” They turned the corner of the hall towards the elevator. Their voices were quickly getting quieter with the distance, but not quickly enough.

          “Yah! My shoelace was untied!”

          “You wear Velcro sneakers!”

          “I didn’t then! You know for a fact that laced shoes could mean life or death back then!”

          “Ah wait I’m getting the timeline wrong.”

          “You both need to take this conversation up with the therapist. I’m not delegating.” That was the last they heard before the ding of the elevator doors closing took them away.

          “Um. What was that?” Sunghoon didn’t scream, but he did speak a lot louder than was usual for him.

          “I think-well I don’t want to assume.” Jake started.

          “I think they’ve been to jail.” Jay blurted out. “You heard them, they said parole man, they’ve broken into things apparently, they know how to pick locks. It all makes sense.”

          “I don’t think it’s quite like that…” Sunoo hesitated.

          “I mean, they did say they were going to therapy? So, reforming criminals??” Niki’s voice pitched high.

          “Ya’ll we’ve heard their debut stories before, there’s no way.” Heeseung may have said this but one look at his face told them that he was having trouble fully believing his words.

          “Anyone can make up a debut story,” Jay dismissed, “What I want to know is how well BigHit must have buried their jail records to have allowed their debut.”

          “But they’re so nice? How can they be criminals?” Niki burst out, “why can’t we ask them?”

          “No, our memories might be wiped if we do. I want to keep this knowledge.” Jay shook his head.

          “This is beginning to sound like one of your conspiracy theories…” Sunoo huffed.

          “We have tangible proof, and multiple witnesses, this is more than a conspiracy theory.”

          “But they’re too nice to be criminals? Yeonjun literally helped write one of our songs.” Heeseung came back to the conversation, a little bit more convinced by himself.

          “For goodness’s sake get in the practice room, we’re already late to start!” Jungwon erupted, his leader voice in full use. “We’ll talk about this later, but right now we’re on paid time.” They entered the practice room with many questions swirling through their heads.

Chapter Text

          “Hyung have you been producing stuff lately?” Yeonjun asked, trying to hide his desperation. Namjoon had decided to check on them today and while they knew exactly why they were getting such an abrupt visit from their sunbae, now was really not the time.

          “I have, come to my studio sometime, I’ll show you some things.” Namjoon spoke dismissively, still hellbent on getting to their practice room. Yeonjun was trying his best to block and distract him without being obvious about it. Taehyun was in a compromising position right now and Soobin and Beomgyu have yet to come back. He was pretty sure Kai ran off as well, which didn’t help at all.

          Unfortunately, Namjoon was one of the worst people to try to stall. The man knew is priorities and he wasn’t easy to fool. Which only led to a faster pace to the practice room, and a more suspicious sunbae.

          When the door to their practice room came into view at the end of the hall, he knew he had to do something.

          He shot a prewritten text to Taehyun, knowing he was alert for it. When they got to the door, he knew he had won.

          “Oh, the door’s locked.” Yeonjun frowned and jiggled the handle. He knocked on the door next. “Taehyun? The door’s locked Taehyun!” He stepped back. “He must be sleeping.”

          “Why not call the other members?” Yeonjun froze. He had just thrown himself under the bus.

          “Um. They’re. Well.” He avoided eye contact eyes to the ceiling.

          “Yeonjun-ah.” Namjoon spoke with a scary calm.

          “Um. Yes hyung?” he forced himself to meet the other’s gaze.

          “Where’s Soobin, Beomgyu, and Hueningkai.”

          “Well-”

          “You could call us you know.” The door to the practice room swung open, revealing Soobin’s large figure. He rubbed his eyes, hair ruffled-and was that dust? “We were all taking a nap, be glad Kai is a light sleeper. Even then it took him a while to register your call.” A loud metal clatter was heard in the room. Soobin froze. “If I turn around, will I see something broken?” He raised his voice so the occupants could hear.

          “No?” Soobin heaved a sigh at Kai’s response.

          “Sorry hyungs, but if you could wait out here so I can make sure it’s not dangerous…” He shut the door.

          “Oi! What have I said about proper installment procedure!” multiple noises akin to hitting something against another, Yeonjun really needed to remind his leader of the lack of soundproofing. “Be careful with that!” an even louder clatter.

          Namjoon opened the door before Yeonjun could stop him.

          Beomgyu and Kai were stacked atop each other, foot on shoulder with Kai’s arms supporting the elder’s weight. Soobin had his face in his hands next to them whilst a rather banged up air vent cover was on the floor in front of the human stack. A telling rectangular hole was in the ceiling.

          Taehyun sat in the corner unbothered by this, the assortment of monitors usually used for playing choreography videos were all on, showing different security camera footage of what Namjoon recognized as HYBE offices with a laptop on the floor that seemed to have dots blinking on it. Was that what he thought it was? He decided to address that later and turned back to the three boys.

          “Where were you?” Beomgyu scrambled to get off Kai with Yeonjun’s help.

          “Ahaha that’s a good question,” Beomgyu smiled nervously. “Soobin, would you like to answer that?”

          “Why would you make it sound so suspicious? We were a floor down, with Enhypen, they got locked out of their practice room.” Soobin maintained a calm façade crossing his arms.

          “Before that?” Namjoon insisted Soobin’s ears turned red. Likely in preparation for a lie. Namjoon gave him his leader stare and he caved before he could even think of one.

          “We may or may not have been trying to stalk one of the employees by entering the building across from HYBE and using a sniper scope NOT attached to the gun to peer into the windows of her cubicle.” A chorus of groans from the others, except Taehyun.

          “Explain.” He insisted, giving the boy no time to try to backtrack.

          “Well, our safety was an issue before, right? Even when we had requested more security it didn’t help much, and that one bodyguard that lived next door to us turned out to be a major sasaeng, so we kind of thought it might be an inside job and started researching it and I guess long story short we have a list of suspects that we’ve been stalking in our free time.” Soobin finished rather breathless.

Him along with the others watched him Namjoon warily. Not Taehyun though, Taehyun was still doing… Whatever he was doing.

          “Okay.” Namjoon inhaled. “Okay.” He exhaled. “You guys, have major trust issues with the company, and I think that’s something to be brought up in therapy. That is all I will say about the paranoia that seems to be brewing here.”

“We’ve brought it up with the therapist and he also says its paranoia, but he also doesn’t know about kidnapping number 102 yet.” Taehyun piped up. He abandoned the monitors to sit with his group as he said it.

“…I will get to that cryptic response later,” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “As for your excursion, thank you for telling the truth, Soobin.” He nodded his head to the boy who flushed. “But you’ve still broken the rules.” The five ducked their heads and Namjoon sighed.

“Let’s rewind a bit,” Namjoon relented slightly. “Why do you have necklace trackers?”

“So that if we get kidnapped, you’ll know immediately because they send an alert if we leave the permitted areas.” Kai responded glumly.

“So, when I got an alert that said you were somewhere other than where you should be what do you think I thought?”

“That we were kidnapped.” Yeonjun answered this time.

“Yes, and that scares us, okay? Jin was in a total tizzy this morning when you were supposed to be in the dorm but instead were three streets down at a convenience store. I understand you’re independent, I do, but you have the trackers for a reason and the group chat for any unplanned ventures. Bang PD has entrusted us to watch over you whilst he builds the new security branch of the company. So that means no leaving the company if you’re not scheduled to, unless you inform the proper people, understand?”

“We understand.” They chorused, heads low.

“Answer me, today when Soobin and Beomgyu left the building seemingly at random and didn’t tell any of us, was that right or wrong?”

“Wrong.”

“Now since we know you seem to have a weird luck that forces you all to be kidnapped together or not at all I decided to check up on you. That was your opportunity to be honest, so why did I receive a text back saying that everyone was in the practice room be with a photo from two days ago?”

“I told you they’d notice the hair!” Beomgyu suddenly shouted, pointing at Soobin’s newly black head.

“I was wearing a beanie in that photo it was barely noticeable! And Yeonjun’s the one who said we didn’t need to take another!” Soobin pointed at his hyung.

“Don’t pin this on me! Kai’s the one who was whining about his face not being presentable today!” Yeonjun jabbed a finger at the maknae.

“Hey! It’s a legitimate insecurity! It’s not my fault that Taehyun took the braincell today and decided not to tell us!” Kai made a wild gesture to his best friend.

“In my defense Jellyfish have survived without a brain for centuries, I assumed at least Beomgyu was intelligent enough to convince you to do another photo.” Taehyun sounded as if he wanted them to get caught with the amount of apathy in his voice.

“Don’t pin this on me! You know how stubborn Soobin can get!”

“Hey! I was also skeptical about it! Yeonjun’s the one who told me it would be fine!”

“I only did that for Hueningie because he was feeling insecure, and I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable!”

“Yeah! He was only trying to help me! My best friend Taehyun was the one who wouldn’t participate in the group vote and caused the opposing sides to play rock paper scissors even though we all know it’s a rigged game! Especially against Soobin!”

“As if you aren’t the one who cheated at every Halli Galli game we’ve ever played.” Taehyun quipped instantly. “Besides, I saw Beomgyu cheat and still lose because he swapped from rock to scissors instead of paper like an idiot.”

“If you knew I was an idiot then why didn’t you help me convince these other idiots to take another photo!” Taehyun started yelling back with an amused glint in his eye and everyone joined in, pleading their own cases, and throwing blame.

“Should I repeat the question? Or do you need to debate the answer more?” Namjoon spoke up above the bickering and all five instantly quieted.

“Because we didn’t want you to worry but we also didn’t want you to question us about why we were going to the other building because we didn’t want to tell you of our personnel investigation.” Taehyun told him.

“Okay. That is a valid answer, but for the sake of all our hearts, I’d rather you tell me about your paranoia-induced investigation than show up halfway across the city on something I might assume is a false alarm.” They took his words to heart, he could tell, their gazes were guilty but earnest as he explained. “Am I understood?”

“Yes sir.” They chorused in that scary unison which made their five voices sound like one. He tried not to linger on it. They have always been uniquely bonded.

“Alright, so, if there is a next time…” He knew there was going to be, these kids had grown almost recklessly independent over the duration of their kidnappings, forcing themselves to learn to deal with it alone instead of trusting the proper adults and authorities because they didn’t want to burden said people.

Namjoon and his group intervening and trying to provide them with a safety net was of course going to be met with struggles to comply. They were used to doing their own thing, unsupervised and completely responsible for their own, and their group’s, safety, and wellbeing. They were not used to being under direct authority. At least, not anymore.

Namjoon was hoping that with the system they were providing, it would help them rely on the company in the way they should when the new security branch of operations kicks off. It was a long way from that it would seem.

“If there is a next time, please just be honest with us about it, we just want you to be safe and I’d rather that’d mean informing us of your employee stalking than showing up a mile outside the boundary, alright?” Another eerie chorus. “Good, I’m going to go back to the artist’s lounge if you need me, okay? We’re live right now but don’t let that deter you from at least knocking, the fans would probably love it anyway.” He turned to leave after they agreed.

“Wait, hyung!” Beomgyu’s call made him turn around.

“Hm?”

“How hard are your practice rooms to break into? Are the locks standard grade?” Namjoon blinked then hummed.

“Well, I don’t know if this helps but Jungkook did bodily charge into it one time and it didn’t break.” He told them. He had a feeling he didn’t want to know why they asked so he went to leave.

“Dang it! Now we have to rework or suspect list!” Taehyun’s out of character cry reached his ears. Yeah. He didn’t need to know.

Chapter Text

The next time the members of Enhypen had the absolute pleasure of meeting the suspected criminals that were TXT, it was just Jay, Niki and Jake against all five of them.

          Not great odds for them. But they weren’t expecting to interact with them on the 14^th floor of the building. The floor was reserved exclusively for Enhypen’s management team, from their concept creators to their statistic predictors, to their comeback meeting rooms. Everything on that floor had something to do with the Enhypen’s behind-the-scenes prep work.

          So why did Niki make eye contact with a blank eyed Taehyun hanging upside down from a ceiling vent?

          “Oh, hello.” The older bowed in a weird way of ab flexing, parallel to the ceiling, before he straightened up gracefully, no swinging, no jerkiness, perfectly controlled besides his dangling arms that he didn’t seem keen on pulling down (up?). Niki was kind of jealous.

          “Hi?” The three returned the greeting, nerves making them bow a bit quicker and lower than intended. They shot back up just as fast. No one said anything.

          “Um, Taehyunnie, I love you, but you need to shuffle out.” The distinct voice of Hueningkai echoed on the vents. Taehyun blinked. The Enhypen members blinked.

          He didn’t reply to Kai, instead bringing his hands up (down?) to grasp the edge of the vent in front of him in a reverse grip. From there he tugged his legs over (under?) his head and behind him, being sure to tuck them so they didn’t catch the other side of the vent. His torso flipped to show his back to them, legs extending to reach the floor. He let go and landed in a crouch. He stood and turned to face them. Not a sound made the entire process.

Niki felt that that was a highly unnecessary show of strength and control but couldn’t say anything about the free show. Taehyun was in a tank top, and his biceps were admirable paired with his fancy vent exit.

          Kai dropped to the ground in a heap much less fancily.

          “You always make it look so easy.” He whined to Taehyun, star fishing on the floor.

          “Get out of the way before I step on you, Hueningie.” Yeonjun’s voice came from the vent. How many of them were there?

          Kai scrambled to stand and leave the landing zone. Once he was clear Yeonjun began the same motions Taehyun did, slipping his torso out and gripping the edge of the vent, bringing his legs over…

          Only to hit his long limbs against the opposite side of the vent opening when flipping around and quickly twisting to hit the ground on his hands and feet, his elbows and knees taking most of the impact. He looked very much like a startled cat. He stood up as if nothing happened only for Beomgyu to fall on top of him with a yelp.

          “Soobin shoved me!” He defended himself when Yeonjun threw him into a vindicative headlock.

          “You were blocking the exit! And were having a panic attack!” The voice of Soobin spoke and then the head of Soobin popped out.

          “Oh yeah!” Kai drew out the second word. “Claustrophobia.” He snapped his fingers. What?

          “Next time we’re putting Beomgyu first.” Yeonjun huffed, letting the boy go.

          “I can’t navigate the vents for the life of me, Yeonjun, that wouldn’t work. Also, thanks, Soobin.” He gave the head a thumbs up. The head nodded.

          “No problem, now move, both of you.” They scrambled out of the way, making room for the largest of them.

          Soobin didn’t do what the first three tried (did, in Taehyun’s case), instead, he reached over to grab the opposite side of the vent, torso now laying across the opening, and pulling both his legs up until the tops of his feet and his ankles were his only support. From there, he slid one leg out, stretching it towards the ground whilst extending his other leg in a rather impressive show of flexibility. He didn’t fully do the splits, his back leg still bent, but he was closer than most. His shoe was a half foot away from the floor. Tall boy.

He let the back leg slide out then released his hands, landing on one leg, knee touching the ground, with the coinciding arm as support, his other leg stretched to the side whilst the remaining arm was thrown behind him...Where has he seen that pose before?

          Soobin flung his head back as if trying to flip his much too short hair. Ah. That’s where.

          “Yah, you poser, that’s not fair.” Beomgyu complained, “I didn’t even get a chance to be cool!” He approached the now standing boy, who shrugged innocently.

          “With all due respect…” The five turned at the same time to Jay as he spoke. Their heads tilted in unison.

          “Yes Hyung?” Kai asked.

          “What are you doing in the Enhypen floor?”

          “This is the 14^th floor???” Kai screeched, the other four turned to him with matching disappointed faces.

          “Yeah? Did you get lost…in the vents?” Niki felt weird saying that out loud.

          “We’re supposed to be on the 13^th in the hallway outside of the Source Music public relations office!” Beomgyu groaned. “Kai you’re bad at navigating.”

          “Taehyun knows every inch of the ducts! Why don’t you scold him for not correcting my pathing!” The maknae whined.

          “Taehyun likes watching idiots suffer from their own decisions, I can’t stop him from being entertained.” Soobin said bluntly. “In short, Taehyun is immune to scolding.”

          “That’s because he only listens to you, and you never scold him.” Yeonjun piped up.

          “That’s cause he’s my only child that does what he’s told.” Soobin scoffed, “I have no need to scold him when he does nothing wrong.”

          “In your eyes.” Beomgyu muttered, Soobin’s eyes narrowed on him.

          “What was that my least favorite child?”

          “Nothing!”

          “Um, why were you in the vents?” Jake had the confidence the interrupt. Five pairs of eyes stared at him.

          “There’s no cameras there,” Taehyun responded, actually being helpful.

          “I almost forgot that we have a meeting in the other room so let’s go!” Jay grabbed his two members by the collars, fueled by his sudden remembrance of the Locked Practice Room Interaction, and yanked them the other way. Nope. No. Nope. Nopety. Nope. He was not continuing this highly suspicious conversation with these highly suspicious men.

          “Huh, that’s strange, none of them had meetings today.” Beomgyu’s comment made him start running, the other two doing the same if only to not be choked by his grips on their collars.

          From the mad look in Jay’s eyes, Niki knew his conspiracy theory was taking flight before his eyes.

Chapter Text

          “Do ya’ll think Enhypen has been acting a bit weird around us lately?” Yeonjun asked after they had filed their stalker profile of one Lee Jimin from the PR team of Le Sserafim. They were now sitting in a circle on the floor in their living room, with nothing better to do this late in the evening.

          “Hm, now that you mention it…” Taehyun crossed off Lee Jimin from their list of suspects, reworked and expanded since they personally inspected BTS’s practice room locks at 4 am. The one singular hour that it was least likely to find them there. “Jungwon hasn’t been responding to my texts as often. Though, that was only for a couple days, now he’s kept up like he usually does, it was probably just a busy streak.”

          “With Heeseung he’s texting me three times more than he used to,” Beomgyu informed. “I wonder what changed? I mean, I love him but, like, I wake up to like 20 messages of him asking me what I’m doing today or if I plan to do community service in the future, actually, just this morning he asked me what type of gun I would own if I could.” He made a confused noise, opening a bag of chips. “Of course, I said the Glock 19 Gen 4 9mm Pistol. But like, that was so out of the blue?”

          “Huh. Strange.” Yeonjun looked to Soobin, “anything with Sunghoon?”

          “Still the usual, silence, we don’t talk much. Though, he did ask me if I’ve ever been in a holding cell yesterday.”

          “Ah. Kidnapping -15.” Taehyun nodded thoughtfully.

          “Kidnapping -15.” Soobin echoed, stealing a chip from Beomgyu who screeched.

          “And kidnapping 60! Don’t forget that abandoned police station that one former gang member used!” Kai piped up.

          “I almost forgot about that, was that also the one where we accidentally solved a cold case when we found ourselves in the records room trying to escape?” Yeonjun asked.

          “Oh yeah!” Beomgyu snapped his fingers. “I can’t believe the police didn’t realize it was-”

          “-the sister all along,” everyone said. They let out light chuckles.

          “Yeah, but anyway, Yeonjun-hyung anything with Sunoo?” Taehyun brought them back on track.

          “Oh, well, he did ask me if I knew the average price for bail and I kind of gave him an entire lecture on how it depends on the type of crime committed, criminal history, age, and a lot of other factors.” Yeonjun did a little stretch and yawned. “Like, for example, arson with the intent to harm can be as high as $200,000 in the U.S., Korea doesn’t usually use bail unless you ask for it, but the ability to get a bail depends on the seriousness of the crime.”

          “Hmm. They’re all asking really random questions,” Kai frowned at his phone.

          “Is it Niki?” Soobin inquired, leaning to look over his shoulder.

          “Yeah, he’s asking if I’ve ever shot someone before.”

          “Well, he asked the wrong person for that.” Taehyun huffed. “Beomgyu-hyung’s is the only one who actually knows how to work a gun here, Yeonjun-hyung’s the one who’s actually held one, I’ve shot in the general area of someone, and Soobin-hyung’s actually shot someone.”

“Why is he asking the maknae that question?” Yeonjun frowned. “Of course, us hyungs wouldn’t let the actual child near a gun.”

“What should I reply with?”

“Just say no.”

“Okay.” He sent the text and put down the phone. Silence in the room. Soobin steals another chip from Beomgyu. Beomgyu bites him. Soobin bites back. They now enter a biting battle.

A ding.

Kai picks up his phone.

“Guys he’s now asking if any of us have worn an inmate uniform?”

“Wow, well, aside from that one photo shoot that turned out to be kidnapping 49?” Yeonjun broke up the biting battle with a shove to both of their faces.

“Should I say yes?”

“Why lie?” Soobin stole the chip bag from Beomgyu. They began to wrestle for it.

“No, wait, that’s not a normal thing to have done.” Taehyun interrupted. “Say no.” Kai just nodded and sent the text.

“Guys Sunoo just asked if we’ve ever had mugshots.” Yeonjun’s eyebrows were furrowed deeply, staring at his phone.

“Wow they really are asking weird questions.” Soobin commented, completely unbothered by Beomgyu’s attempts at snatching the snack bag.

“Again yes, because of kidnapping 49, but still say no.” Taehyun replied.

“Something really is going on with Enhypen. Are they considering turning to crime?!” Beomgyu panicked and stopped fighting for the chips. “Don’t they get paid enough? Why would they throw their future away? Are they trying to start a gang or something?”

“Calm down. Just because they’re asking weird questions does not mean they are changing their entire lifestyle.” Soobin reasoned. Gracefully giving back the chip bag. Beomgyu took it with wide eyes.

“No, they really are going to crime, Jungwon just asked me about the price of street drugs.” Taehyun’s eyes went wider than usual.

“I thought everyone knew it depended on the quality, quantity, the seller, and the type of drug?” Soobin questioned, “You can’t average it, just asking about drugs in general with no specifics won’t give you an accurate answer.” Everyone nodded in agreement.

“That’s not the point here, they’re trying to sell drugs, Soobin.”

“Taehyun-ah you should tell him to delete those messages, and delete yours as well, it could get you both into a major scandal if it was leaked. Remember the inside job?”

“Shoot, yeah, you guys should tell them as well, these things are kind of incriminating for an idol.”

They all rushed to text their Enhypen buddies.

“Can I have my phone back?” Sunghoon asked Jay, who was sitting on the floor of their living room with a line of phones in front of him.

“Besides you getting Heeseung to give up his phone again and give me the new password so I can compare answers in exchange? No.” Jay responded, staring at the dark screens intently.

“Oh.” Sunghoon sat down on the opposite side of the phone line, he felt too lazy to do that. “What are you using it for?”

“Proving TXT are criminals.” Ah. Yeah Sunghoon sort of forgot about that. The rest of Enhypen too. When they had calmed down from their initial panic and confusion after a couple days, Jungwon had stated that he didn’t believe, nor care, if they were criminals because all they’ve been was extremely supportive and friendly to them, and who doesn’t know a few weird tricks? They were idols, if they didn’t already have a charming talent, they had to create one. Besides, Tomorrow By Together was known for their chaotically weird actions. Everyone pretty much agreed with his reasoning, listing their own fun interactions with their chaotic senior group and that was pretty much the end of it. For everyone except Jay, at least.

“…Have you gotten anything off of them?” Sue him, he had nothing else to do and this sounds better than staring into the void. He’s still curious about the Locked Practice Room Interaction even if his suspicions were gone.

“Soobin has confirmed to have been in a holding cell before.” Jay started, pointing at Sunghoon’s own phone.

“Yeah? So have BTS, that one Run BTS episode where a couple of them were criminals? We do a lot of things in this line of work, hyung.” Jay just frowned.

“Yeonjun has a weirdly extensive knowledge of the American bail system.” Jay pointed at what he recognized as Sunoo’s phone.

“Okay, and? He spent a part of his childhood there. And he was sent there to practice dance a couple times too.” It was the talk of the trainees at the time.

“Yes, but he was gone for too long, he could have been arrested and tried in that time.”

“It was like, a month’s length each time.”

“Completely possible.”

“Whatever, anything else?” Jay was obviously going crazy. He usually did when he found a conspiracy he wanted to prove, but this was a new level.

“Before Heeseung found and stole his phone, Beomgyu proved to know the exact model of a gun used mainly by police in America.”

“Okay, he knows a single gun, big deal, I also know a single gun, the Taver TAR-21.” Jay raised a suspicious eyebrow. Sunghoon just shrugged.

“Can I not have a weird piece of knowledge in my brain?” Jay raised a second suspicious eyebrow.

“Scare tactics. Wouldn't believe how well they work on Heesueng-hyung.” It works wonders whenever he wants free food, though he doesn't use the knowledge lightly as Heeseung gets uber paranoid about why he knows such things. The last extensive research session made him well versed in types of bombs but Heeseung got too paranoid and started throwing salt over his shoulder and burning incense, apparently he though Sunghoon was being possessed. It was a long few weeks he remembers.

Jay just stared at him consideringly, then turned back to the phones. He tapped Niki’s.

“Kai is the most responsive, but he isn’t confirming anything. Likely he realizes it’s not something to tell us. Taehyun hasn’t said anything, even though their previous chat history says that he usually responds within two minutes. Suspicious.” Jay turned on each phone, typing and sending things even as he spoke.

“Okay, he’s particularly busy today.” Sunghoon reasoned.

“But Yeonjun said no when Sunoo asked if he’s ever had a mugshot. And Kai just keeps saying no without asking why I’m asking such questions.” A ding from a phone on the left side of the line. Jay scrambled to grab it. Looking quite feral.

“Taehyun just told me to delete these messages. He doesn’t want it to be leaked. Probably because that parole officer they have is monitoring their phones.” Oh yeah, he wondered what that whole parole officer thing was from. Maybe it’s a nickname for someone?

Dings from the other phones and he checked them. “They all just told me to do it for fear of a scandal. I can see right through you!” Jay yelled, probably waking up half the dorm. It was 5 am and two hours before their schedule, they weren’t going to be happy. He started scrolling and screenshotting the conversations one by one, sending the pictures to his own phone before he moved to the next device.

“Man, you’re crazy, I should have followed Heeseung and not given you my phone.” Never mind the fact that Jay stole everyone else’s as they slept. Sunghoon had to have the half-awake compliance that didn’t question Jay when he asked to use it.

“I need his conversation!” Jay shrieked, definitely waking up the other half of the dorm. He stalked towards Heeseung’s room. Sunghoon just quietly collected his phone and deleted the conversation, along with a message of apology to Soobin.

“Huh, Sunghoon just told us that Jay commandeered their phones.”

“Is Jay the one turning to criminal life???” Beomgyu mumbled, half-asleep in the bean bag.

“Jay’s literally the richest of them???” Taehyun questioned, popping his head out of the kitchen.

“We should be careful around him…” Soobin murmured.

“Okay.” The others chorused from their scattered places inside the dorm.

No one questioned why every one of them was awake at 5 am. Trauma had done a lot to their sleep schedule.

Chapter Text

“Hey, Namjoon-ah told me to check up on you, how are you guys doing?” Yoongi entered the artist lounge where he knew TXT were residing. Only to find three of the members gathered around a single laptop on Taehyun’s lap. They were startled at the sight of him.

“Parole—Yoongi-Hyung!” Yeonjun stuttered, Yoongi raised an eyebrow, “We weren’t expecting you!”

“Blame that on Namjoon.” Yoongi huffed good naturedly. “I think he’s getting suspicious of your sudden compliance, but you didn’t hear that from me.” He winked and Yeonjun and Kai giggled nervously. Taehyun just blinked.

“So what are you up to? And where’s Soobin and Beomgyu?”

“Bathroom-”

“Sleeping-” Yeonjun and Hueningkai said at the same time. They gave each other panicked looks.

“Stalking Bu Jongin of Security team A for BigHit.” Taehyun spoke through the scramble. The other two gawked at him, looking between him and Yoongi frantically.

“Oh? What for? Is this the paranoia investigation that Namjoon wouldn’t shut up about?”

“Yes, we have multiple pieces of evidence that suggest an inside job having to do with our lack of safety and privacy based on the number of kidnappings we’ve experienced and the places and times we were taken.” Taehyun explains. Yoongi raised a considering eyebrow.

“Show me.” They sat the older artist down and Taehyun began running him through the proof. Yeonjun and Kai staring wide-eyed on the sidelines. None of them saw the shadow by the door that stopped to watch.

          The shadow grinned and left.

          Another shadow took its place, watching for a mere second before running away.

Jay slammed open the door of the dorm that evening.

“I think Yoongi-sunbae is in on it!”

“Shut up!” Jungwon screeched from somewhere in the dorm.

Chapter Text

“Hyung do you know anybody from the set building teams that could be a suspect?” Soobin asked, staring at the list of employees that are responsible for building their MV, Trailer and General Content sets.

“Hmm, well if we’re going for vibes, as you kids say, I never liked the leader of Set builder team F, I believe his name was Huh Minho? He liked slacking on structure and a few of his builds collapsed mid shoot.” Yoongi responded from where he was watching the monitors over Taehyun’s shoulder.

“Oh we got a suspicious movement from Lee Dahyun!” Beomgyu called, watching the monitors on the other side of Taehyun.

“Should we send Yeonjun after him? He’s the closest.” Taehyun asked already grabbing the com device.

“No, send Kai, we don’t want Yeonjun to lose his trail on Park Yujin.” Yoongi commanded. With one glance at Soobin who nodded, Taehyun nodded and switched channels.

“This is Cheese Tteokbokki calling in for new orders, do you copy Kinda Sus Bro?”

They watched Kai pause his vent crawling to brush his hair back and activate his in-ear com.

“Loud and clear, Cheese Tteokbokki, ready for orders.”

“There’s been a suspicious movement from Lee Dahyun of marketing for TXT, we can’t send out Ani Wae because he’s trailing another suspect, abandon your first mission to follow him.”

“Copy that, abandoning my bug infestation mission and rerouting to level 12. Can I get last known location?”

“Abandoned storage, third hallway from the main meeting room, next to the private offices.”

“Got it, can Most Desired Hyung track my progress?” Taehyun looked at Yoongi; Yoongi nodded.

“Affirmative, switching your tracker into a private line and turning it on.” Taehyun’s hands flew on the keys before the monitor closest to Yoongi switched to a black screen with white outlines of vents. A red dot blinked, moving forward in one of them.

“Tracking you now and transferring your previous mission to Global Shooky.” Soobin sighed at the words.

“You could at least ask.” Soobin huffed but went to get wired by Beomgyu anyway.

“Kinda Sus Bro left his bug bag in vent 24 on level 10, You know where to place them right?” Beomgyu briefed him.

“Yup, I’m the one who scoped out the best places anyway.”

“Enter the vents 3/4ths of the way to the 14^th floor but press the elevator button for the 24th floor to throw off any tails. I’ll make sure you’re alone.”

“Roger that Motor Mouth.” Soobin left quickly.

“Yoongi-hyung! Tae-hyung said you were in here?” The voice of Jeon Jungkook breeched the thin door.

“Come in Kook-ah!” The man entered and Beomgyu and Taehyun were quick to bow, he bowed back. “What do you need me for?”

Jungkook looked confusedly at the monitors that were totally not on the live security feeds that were totally not hacked into.

“Um, Namjoon-hyung was asking if you wanted to get jajangmyeon with us for lunch?” He didn’t remove his gaze from the monitors that totally weren’t showing a rolling and creeping Yeonjun sneaking up to a staff member.

“I’m a bit busy at the moment but if you could bring some back for me that’d be great.”

“…sure.” Jungkook replied. He seemed hesitant to leave. “May I ask what you’re doing?”

“Searching for a double agent.” Taehyun responded. Jungkook’s eyes sparkled.

“Can I help?”

“Jungkook-sunbae hasn’t left TXT’s practice room yet.” Jay spoke, eyes burning holes into the door of the room in question.

“Yeah and?” Jake asked rather nervously, “Why are we even camping out at their door anyway?”

“Because I need evidence, Sunoo do you have the camera rolling?”

“Yes hyung, as I have had it running the past four times you asked me.” Sunoo rolled his eyes.

“I’m going to get proof that these guys are criminals.”

“It sounds like you hate them when you say it like that.” Heeseung huffed, he was lying on one of the couches that lined the hallway, staring boredly at the ceiling. It was interesting because he was the only one that willingly went along but he was acting like he wanted to be the first one to leave.

“I don’t! I’m not going to do anything about it anyway, I just want to confirm my theory.”

“You’re weird.” Sunoo rolled his eyes again.

Chapter Text

“Some of the Enhypen members have been camping outside our door for a while now.” Jungkook commented. They have yet to find a job for him, so he was temporarily in charge of telling them if someone was approaching their headquarters.

“Yeah, they’ve been doing that the past few days. Specifically, Jay.” Taehyun murmured, currently distracted by some program on his computer.

“Why’s that?”

“We think he might be trying to become a criminal and is taking note of our actions to get better at pickpocketing and surveilling potential victims.” Beomgyu offered a theory.

“There’s also a few of us that are suspicious of him being the mole but there’s no conclusive evidence of that since he only began stalking us recently.” Taehyun added.

“Wow, this seems like its straight out of a K-drama with how many unrealistic things are happening.” Jungkook breathed.

“On another note, should we get you a code name if you’re going to keep helping us?”

“Uh, sure? How do you make one?”

“Well, we did it based off a meme or fact about the person. Like Yoongi-hyung is Most Desired because everyone keeps asking him to marry them, Soobin is Global Shooky because he messed up its pronunciation. Taehyunnie is Cheese Ttteokbokki because how he said it one time went weirdly viral. We’re trying not to make them too obvious to those who don’t know us and therefore don’t know all our memes and such, so you, unfortunately can’t be Golden Maknae, like Yoongi-hyung, we’ll have to find something subtler since you guys and your memes are a lot more well known.”

“Pick one for me.”

“We’ll get back to you on that.” Beomgyu grinned, a gleeful glint in his eye. Whether or not he regrets giving the chaos incarnate the responsibility of finding a nickname is to be decided.

“Dish Soap Sell Out break right! Parole Officer 1’s coming around the corner.” Jungkook combat rolled down a hallway, sprinting to get to the end.

“See if you can stall him! make it a horror movie scene or something.”

“Hyung’s not going to fall for that!” Jungkook hissed.

“Cheese Ttteokbokki and Global Shooky are still not at headquarters; this whole operation is going to blow if he finds out!” Yoongi took over the coms, weirdly intense as he ordered him.

“Okay! I’ll see what I can do!”  Jungkook gave in. He took out his in-ear com and shoved it in his jacket, zipping up the pocket.

“Go up.” Jungkook glanced behind him, shocked to see his Taehyung-hyung standing in the hallway he had just left, one arm pointing to the ceiling with a sly smile on his face. What? As soon as Jungkook saw him however, he disappeared and Jungkook had no choice but to trust his words as Namjoon’s footsteps got closer.

He leapt onto a couch and hopped using the momentum to kick upward and off the wall, just barely grasping the top of his chosen vent duct, he dragged his legs up to wrap around it.

“Hyung!” He yelled. “Hyung help!”

“Jungkook?!” He heard the voice of Namjoon-hyung and held back a grin.

“Hyung help!” He called again and he heard his leader’s pounding footsteps.

“Dear god, Kook-ah, how’d you get up there?” Jungkook tried to look to where Namjoon was but could barely see his head.

"What in the-?" Oh. Hobi-hyung was also there.

“I don’t know, but I’m stuck.” Jungkook groaned, shifting his grip.

“Well, try hanging, how far are you from the ground?” Jungkook let go of his legs, carefully stretching out until he was dangling from the vent, side of his head pressed against the metal.

“You’re a good 7 feet above, goodness Kookie was this a dare or something?” Hoseok sucked in a breath.

“Just wanted to try it.” Jungkook huffed.

“Well from the way I see it, as long as you’re prepared you can drop down. The fall damage shouldn’t be too bad if you land right.” Hoseok hummed, much calmer but still freaked.

“I’m scared.” Jungkook blurted out, he needed to give his dongsaengs more time, and if that meant losing his pride then he would very well throw it away.

“Scared? Kook-ah I literally saw you bungee jump with a smile on your face.” Namjoon encouraged, not without a confused edge to his voice.

“I had a safety harness then; do you see one on me now?”

“I can grab your legs if you want but that’s going to upset your landing.” Namjoon put on his thinking face, “Maybe I can catch you?”

"I could help? Though if it doesn't work out that would be a lot more injuries in total, right before our comeback too... Maybe we should call the staff?" Hoseok took a casual search of their surroundings, likely already thinking of where he'd find one.

“No its fine! Just, give me a second.” Jungkook refused, legs kicking a little. The motion caused him to swing, and he groaned.

He waited until the swinging stop before letting his fingertips slide off the top of the duct, slipping down the side slowly but quickly getting faster and faster.

He landed and immediately rolled to break his fall. Barreling right into Namjoon in the process, they landed in a heap. Hobo cackled on the sidelines.

“Sorry,” Jungkook rolled off his leader, allowing the man to sit up. They both stood.

“Its fine, just don’t do things like that again.” He scolded. “Did Taehyung put you up to this?”

“No.” Jungkook said before he could stop himself. “Yoongi-hyung did.”

“Yoongi-hyung? What?” Namjoon sputtered. Hobi had much the same reaction. Jungkook shrugged at their befuddlement. “I-never mind, we're going to visit TXT, would you like to come?”

“Sure!” Jungkook agreed.

“Hyungs!” Soobin greeted, all five bowing. Yoongi was nowhere to be seen, Jungkook noted as they bowed back. When he straightened Soobin sent him a sharp look, purposefully scratching his ear then flicking his hair towards Taehyun. Jungkook nodded shallowly.

“How have you guys been doing?” Namjoon asked.

“Good.” The group chorused.

“How are you?” Yeonjun asked, approaching them. The others followed suit, with Taehyun closest to Jungkook, effectively crowding Namjoon’s and Hoseok's vision so Jungkook could easily slip his coms to Taehyun. He took it and shoved the wires into his sweatpants pocket. He shuffled back and towards a cabinet where he dropped it inside and took out a bottle of water.

“Would you like a drink hyungs?” He easily slid back into the crowd, offering it to the senior artists.

“We're good thank you, we just came here to check on you is all.” Hoseok gave his signature sunshine grin, obviously endeared.

“Okay, then as you leave could you tell Enhypen to stop stalking us?” he asked innocently, eyes wide.

“What?” Hoseok blinked.

"What?" Namjoon echoed.

“Some of them have camped outside our practice room for the past few days and we were wondering if you could make them stop.”

“Why would they do that?” Unison shrugs across the group.

“We haven’t talked to them about it because we don’t like confrontation.” Kai murmured looking like a kicked puppy.

“We'll see what I can do.” Namjoon assured.

“Are Namjoon-sundae and J-Hope-sunbae in on it too? Is all of BTS?”

“Jay, you’re wasting time at this point, we have practice in five minutes.” Jungwon groaned. He was on camera duty today, and was suffering because of it, watching Jay stare at a door for a little under an hour every break he had was strangely tiring.

          “No, this could be new evidence.”

          “Jay, you haven’t gotten any evidence for crimes for the past however long you’ve investigated, assuming Namjoon-sunbae is a part of this so called shady criminal group is like calling a pig a horse.” Heeseung was on the couch again, eyes to the ceiling the entire time.

          A dark shadow cast over them.

          “What are you doing?” the three shrieked and looked up to find the leader and main dancer of BTS staring them down.

          “We were just leaving sorry!” Jay yanked Jungwon back, grabbed the camera, and dashed off.

          “Nice to know his priorities should there be a house fire.” Heeseung huffed and got off the couch. He bowed.

          “Hello Sunbaes! Jay’s stalking TXT for some reason and I was just making sure he doesn’t go too far.” He explained.

          “Don’t give information to the enemy!” Jay screeched, speeding back to grab Heeseung and making a break for it whilst dragging the older one along.

          “Have a good day sunbaes!” Heeseung called out to him. The senior artists waved back hesitantly. That was weird.

In the chaos, Jungkook forgot about his whole interaction with Taehyung, as he hurriedly snuck Yoongi (He was hiding in a storage closet) out of the practice room whilst his band mates were confronting the Enhypen members.

Chapter Text

The final showdown happened in mid-March when TXT were prepping for their world tour and Enhypen finishing up their arrangements for their Dark Blood album.

          Which didn’t fully mean, but didn’t not mean a lot of late-night hours and sudden encounters.

          The showdown technically wasn’t supposed to happen, as the members of Tomorrow X Together had decided to only casually monitor their suspicious dongsaengs. Specifically, Jay, as he seemed to be the only one stalking them recently.

          But the whole thing wouldn’t have happened if Jin and Jimin hadn’t caught them. Let’s start at the beginning of the situation.

          TXT had decided previously to leave their investigations to Most Desired and Dish Soap Sell Out when they toured, and that Jungkook would completely take over after Suga starts his tour.

          It was a lot of late hours spent putting BTS’s maknae through the ropes as respectfully as possible, but it was worth it when they saw him plan and operate his own mission almost completely autonomously. Another suspect off the list.

          For the most part, Yoongi was also fully autonomous, as he had been working with them for a little while before Jungkook came in. With him working on releasing his studio album D-Day in a month, however, the field missions were mostly reliant on Jungkook.

          It was a fruitful time for all of them, their camaraderie growing with each meeting. With it, they had an increased amount of Jay sightings as his suspicions grew.

          “Do you think that we should put Jay on the list of suspects?” Beomgyu asked one evening, when they were pouring over their current list. Crossing some out and going about how to track some of them down.

          “I’m telling you; his stalking doesn’t align with the timeline for our kidnappings, he wasn’t even debuted when we started.” Taehyun huffed.

          “You guys were kidnapped all the way back then too?” Jungkook’s eyes were wide.

          “Yeah, I think they started a bit after the Eternity promotions ended.” Taehyun waved his hand dismissively. “But anyway, no, we are not putting Jay on the suspect list.”

          “Still, I feel like we have an obligation to figure out what he’s doing, after all those suspicious texts, he’s been stalking us a lot, and not to mention he tried to call the police on us.” Yeonjun mentioned thoughtfully.

          “He what?!” Jungkook didn’t quite shriek.

          “Don’t worry,” Beomgyu assured. “Soobin intercepted the call and wired it to the department’s chief, he’s very familiar with us and our modus operand so he dismissed the call almost as soon as Jay started making accusations.”

          “Please explain.” Yoongi spoke calmly, ignoring his wide-eyed shooketh member.

          “Oh, we put an untraceable digital tracker in Jay phone so we can monitor it for these exact reasons.” Taehyun spoke this time.

          “I meant the accusations.”

          “Oh, yeah he thinks we’re criminals and keeps trying to become one, but I think his schedule didn’t allow it, so he tried turning us in instead.” Taehyun elaborated. “We think he needs the money but considering he’s the richest person in Enhypen, the theory has many flaws.”

          “That explained exactly nothing.”

          “What’s this I’m hearing about criminals?” In their explanation, they didn’t realize Jimin and Jin had entered the room. “Yoongi? Jungkook? What are you doing in here?”

          “Hyungs!” TXT were quick to stand and bow.

          “Is it your turn to check on us then? That’s much different from the usual schedule, did Hobi-hyung have a last-minute schedule?” Beomgyu asked, averting their attention from their members to him.

          “How do you know our schedule for checkups? We literally change it every week depending on our availability?” Jin frowned.

          “I mean, if you have the individual schedules then one can easily predict-” Soobin elbowed Yeonjun in the stomach.

          “Well as you can see, we’re doing fine! No tripping the trackers or anything, just small talk, and prep work.” The leader took over.

          “I can see that. Prep work for what exactly?” Jin crossed his arms, looking every bit the intimidating hyung he totally wasn’t. Beomgyu was quick to drag their leader back into their formation, knowing the man couldn’t lie to his idol. Or anyone really.

          “For our world tour, we were asking Yoongi-hyung and Jungkook-hyung about their experiences, we’ve only ever toured once before after all.” Beomgyu smoothly replied giving his hyungs an alibi for why they were here. Said hyungs nodded along, as if that was exactly what they were doing.

          “Uh-huh, and what’s with that list of employees Hueningkai’s holding?” Said boy squeaked and hid the clipboard behind his back.

          “What list of employees?” He asked, looking, and sounding like the epitome of cluelessness. You had to give him credit for his ability to lie like that despite being caught already.

          “Yup, you’re not fooling anyone, I saw our old PR manager on that list, along with a few dance instructors.”

          “What list?” Kai insisted. Taehyun not so casually slipped behind him and grabbed the clipboard. He yeeted it towards an open storage closet. It slammed into one of the shelves and an audible crack was heard. Not from the clipboard though. No, the shelf of the closet snapped in half, followed by the collapse of the entire closet. The clipboard lying pristinely on the floor before the wreckage.

          “Hmm, maybe we should add whoever decided to get our furniture from IKEA to the list.” Taehyun murmured.

          “Yeah,” Yeonjun agreed, “That closet was so not up to code.”

          “That’s definitely coming out of our paychecks.” Soobin didn’t sound distraught, in fact, he seemed quite resigned when he said this.

          “I told you we shouldn’t get that clipboard! We could easily print out the suspect list a million times if we wanted! An indestructible clipboard is not something that we needed.” Kai complained.

          “It looked cool when I threw it.” Taehyun defended…?

          “Gosh I forgot I had the braincell today.” The maknae face palmed.

          “Sooo,” Jimin slowly inched closer to the wreckage. “You said suspect list?”

          “Kai! Why’d you say that!” Immediate scoldings rose up from the older four.

          “I’m sorry! But I’m not the one who threw the dang thing across the room.”

          “Does that mean I have the braincell today?” Soobin murmured.

          “YA!” Jin’s yell startled them, they turned to the man. “Just tell us why you have a suspect list filled with employees.”

          “We suspect that an employee is selling out our personal information to kidnappers or saesangs which could technically also be kidnappers, but we’ve only had 30 of those so percentage wise probably just kidnappers but anyway they could be the reason that we got kidnapped that often.” Soobin rambled, looking quite scared and stressed.

          “Can never tell a lie, that’s our leader for you.” Yeonjun spoke somewhat resigned.

          “Did we leave the braincell at home then?” Beomgyu muttered, “Cause I don’t have it.”

          “Oh is this the investigation thing Namjoonie-hyung was talking about?” Jimin piped up, he had since moved nearer to the wreckage and picked up the clipboard to inspect it. “Mad respect to you guys for going against the Rap Monsters orders but maybe try not to blurt it out to everyone that asks?”

          “We don’t, Soobin’s just incapable of lying, its why we try to leave the field work for other people.” Beomgyu groaned, “and Namjoon-hyung didn’t order us to do anything, he just…strongly suggested we leave our security to the company.”

          “Well, not incapable of lying per say, just really bad unless the situation calls for it.” Taehyun amended his hyung’s words. “And Namjoon-hyung did kind of tell us to stop investigating.”

          “This situation called for it???” Beomgyu shot back, “And I’m pretty sure Namjoon-hyung didn’t say that.”

          “Not really, it’s no effect to us, not if the people who found out wanted to join.” Taehyun had an inviting glint in his eyes, watching his sunbaenims with an eagerness that weirdly made sense. “Besides, who wouldn’t want to cause chaos behind the Rap Monster’s back?”

          “I really should stop you.” Jin sighed. “But I’ll never turn down a chance to mess with Joon-ah.” He grinned. “Plus, our old PR manager was a grouchy pain in the behind, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a criminal record.” The members of TXT collectively filled with glee, eyes sparkling as they turned to the second potential recruit.

Jimin blinked at the stares. “Um, sure? I don’t know if I’d be needed though, you already have a lot of people.”

          “Nonsense, we’re going on tour in half a month, you can help Jungkook through his field ops.” Kai gave his best puppy eyes.

          “Well as long as I get a cool codename.” Jimin relented easily. Kai’s puppy eyes were not to be trifled with.

          “That’s a no go, Jimin-ssi, they choose the codenames as part of your orientation.” Jungkook lied through his teeth, a playful glint in his eyes.

          “Something tells me I’m not going to like this…”

          “Oh you aren’t, and I have the perfect idea for it.” Taehyung emerged from the wreckage of the closet with an evil smile.

Neither the BTS members present, nor TXT knew when he got recruited.

Chapter Text

          “Got No Jams! Your target is three feet to the left on your next right turn!” Most Desired informed, watching the monitors closely. “Dish Soap Sell Out is in the vents for backup, ETA 5 minutes, try not to need him to soon.”

          “Roget that Most Desired! And tell Niagara Popo to stop breathing so heavy, its messing with the audio.” V gave a little pout from next to Yoongi and stopped his exaggerated breathing.

          “Jay-ah!” Jimin engaged with his target, the target startling rather violently.

          “Jimin-sunbaenim!” He bowed deeply, his face turning a bit pink.

          “Watcha doing with that camera?” Jimin tilted his head, gesturing to what looked like a personal video camera set up on a camera stand.

          “Oh, just, collecting videos of doors.” Jay began to sweat, glancing at the open flap that showed the focus of the lens. It was indeed on a closed door.

          The closed door of the TXT private lounge.

          “Oh? What for?”

          “Um.” Jay scrambled, hands making aborted gestures before he shoved them behind his back and straightened up in a position similar to a soldier. “Jungwon really likes videos of doors sir, as it’s his birthday soon, I’m trying to find as many doors to film as I can to create a compilation of the best doors around HYBE complete with how they sound when being opened.” He mentally slapped himself. What kind of excuse was that? Jungwon’s birthday had already passed, there’s no way that Jimin would believe him! Unless Jimin didn’t know Jungwon’s birthday? Yeah, why would someone as important and popular as Jimin-sunbaenim memorize a random dongsaeng’s birthday? Yeah, never mind, this was a great excuse.

          “Sorry to break the non-interference rule we’ve set but this is urgent info from Cheese Tteokbokki, Jungwon’s birthday has already passed, I repeat, Jungwon’s birthday has already passed, it was the ninth of February.” Jimin gave a little smile at the information but didn’t reply back. Didn’t want to blow this whole operation after all.

          “But Jungwon’s birthday was last month, wasn’t it? The 9^th I believe, that’s a late present.”

          Jay could feel the sweat trickling down his brow. Oh no.

          “Well-I-well I'm not the best at giving gifts on time, working up to a comeback is full of schedules, which of course you would know you’ve been in the industry longer, but the compilation is taking longer than I thought.”

          “Hmm, well, enough about that, I’m not going to judge you for something so small, as long as you work hard on it, I think Jungwon can wait awhile more, are you free right now?” Jimin relented in his interrogation, moving on to his real mission.

          “Um, if you give me a minute to pack up sure? What do you need me for? If I may ask.” Jay fumbled with his equipment, the video ending with a shaky frame.

          “Oh, just a few questions, Jungkookie and I are going around the company asking groups about idol life, it’s going to be a part of a docuseries about the struggles of idols, I believe a couple other entertainment companies are also interviewing their own, but HYBE thought it would be an interesting take to have seasoned idols interview fellow idols for comfort and reassurance.” Jimin lied smoothly. Wow he sounded quite convincing, all those episodes lying in Run BTS were paying off.

“Okay, sure, lemme just…” He collapsed the camera stand, fighting to secure the legs.

“Need help there?” Jungkook dropped down from the vent on the opposite side of the hallway, effectively cornering Jay.

Jay’s eyes flickered from the golden maknae to the open vent on in the ceiling multiple times. Was this a trap? Did TXT send them to kill him? Since when was Jimin a part of their operations? He needed to exit. He didn’t feel safe anymore.

“No! No I’m good! In fact, I think I left something over there…” Jay eased his way towards Jimin. He tried to inch around him before a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“What’s got you so nervous there? We’re not scaring you, are we?” Jimin asked with a menacing smile.

“No-I-no not at all,” Jay forced a wobbly grin on his face. On the contrary, they were terrifying him.

“Then I think we can get to the interview now, shall we?”

Jay’s scream rocked the entire building, but the employees and idols were too used to TXT’s level of volume, and no one went to investigate.

Jay awoke (he didn’t remember them knocking him out though?) in what he vaguely recognized as the practice room they shot the Permission To Dance practice video. Then again there were like three of these that looked the same (including their own) so he could be wrong. All he knew was that the lighting—that was usually adequate—was much darker, covering the room in shadows with the sole light focused on him in a creepy spotlight situation.

“Alright, fess up, what do you get by trying to spy on us?” Yoongi-sunbaenim emerged from the shadows, arms crossed in front of a terrified Jay ribbon tied to a chair.

Yes. Ribbon tied. Apparently, it wouldn’t leave any marks like any other binding would, so no one could get suspicious if it was shown on a camera, but it came with the side effect of him being almost completely mummified in it to add strength. It was a 4-inch-wide ribbon though, so he wasn’t sure it was easy to break with only one strip of it, but he wasn’t allowed to complain. Sort of literally.

 “So you are working with them? What do you gain from it?”

“I’m the one asking the questions, dongsaeng, I remind you to be respectful. Answer the question.”

“I needed evidence.” Jay gave up quickly. He was taught to respect his elders, and he didn’t want to anger the Min Yoongi of BTS. You just wouldn’t survive if you did that to him. Or any of the members.

“Evidence of what?” Jungkook-sunbaenim appeared on his right, taking up the same posture as his hyung. Jay turned to him.

“Criminal intent and practices.” Jay responded, trying to shrink away as the two took a step closer.

“Why?” Taehyung-Sunbaenim showed up on his left, but instead of crossed arms, he had them behind his back like a military soldier, only the tilt of his head offsetting the strict stance. In a very offsetting way.

“I want the company to be a safe space for my team, that can’t happen when there’s criminals running around.”

“You believe Tomorrow by Together are criminals?”

“Yes.” Yoongi let out a snort, his entire intimidation act dropped as he started to downright cackle. The others joined him, completely breaking down.

It actually was even more terrifying to Jay as the bipolar actions made the hair at his nape stand up.

“Oh boy,” Yoongi wiped a tear from his eye. “You hear that Global Shooky?” He half-wheezed, two fingers pressing into what looked like an in ear monitor, its tan color and shading making it difficult to tell apart from the actual ear.

It was quite well made, but it also made Jay question their budget, as in-ears were customized to the ear of the individual who would wear it, they had to create actual ear molds, pouring some type of silicone into the ear to make it fit perfectly. It was an expensive process.

“Yeah, we’ll let him go, maybe send Ani Wae over to explain things so he doesn’t keep snooping, I don’t know what you feel comfortable with revealing, the ball is in your park with this one.” Yoongi continued. “Yeah, we’ll keep him here till you get here.” Yoongi made a sharp gesture to Jay whilst looking at Jungkook and the maknae nodded.

Jay watched him as he approached, only for him to undo the ribbon bow that secured his bindings, and slowly unwrap him. Taehyung came to help, rolling up the dropped ribbon. They circled his chair this way, and he couldn’t help but stay tense and in place, even as they got to his feet, and he could easily step out.

The door opened and the rest of the lights turned on with the familiar sound of a flicked light switch, Jay hissed at the change, eyes closing.

When he opened them, BigHit’s legendary trainee was leaning over him, an amused grin on his face.

“Hello, Jay, we’ve been told you are a very curious boy.” The fox-like features of Yeonjun contorted into a teethy grin. Jay held back a whimper.

“Let me get this straight.” Jay massaged his temple, eyes squeezed shut in attempt to pretend he wasn’t where he was. Despite continuing to talk. “You’ve been kidnapped 146 times and decided after the first 15, that you didn’t count in the total of kidnappings, that instead of trusting the company with your safety you would learn any and all things that could help you escape a kidnapping, including picking locks and navigating vents.”

“Yes.” Yeonjun nodded, he wasn’t smiling, but he also did not carry a serious expression. He was more in a neutral zone where he seemed like he was waiting to see how Jay reacted before he himself did.

“And after BTS-sunbaenims found out about it and made sure the security was heightened, and apparently started the whole idea and process of making a security branch of the company, you still decided to take your safety into your own hands by doing a personal investigation of HYBE’s employees in attempt to find what you believe to be an information leak.”

“Yup.”

“And you call BTS your parole officers because they frequently check up on you to make sure you haven’t been kidnapped.”

“Uh-huh.”

“and you managed to recruit five of them in your schemes.”

“Mn.”

“…I’m telling Sihyuk-nim.”

“NO!” The four other TXT members fell into the practice room in a heap, the door swinging wide and slamming into the wall. They struggled to untangle themselves.

“Yah! I told you to wait in our practice room!” Yeonjun scolded.

“This technically was our practice room for a while.” The voice of Taehyun drawled from within the pile. So it was the 0X1=LOVESONG practice room then.

It was a few seconds before they finally got off each other, adjusting their clothing and brushing off dirt as they approached.

“Yeah, don’t tell Sihyuk-nim, Jin-hyung was already going to tell Namjoon-hyung tomorrow and we really don’t need him going on a murder spree after the last one. If he finds out our suspicions…” Beomgyu trailed off with a shudder. “Yeah just don’t tell him, or anyone for that matter, actually.”

“Yeah, despite how light we make of this we still suffer from PTSD so please don’t go spouting out secrets to anyone without our permission.”

“I won’t, I promise.” Jay affirmed. “…And I’m sorry I suspected you.”

“Totally fine! We weren’t the most helpful in stopping your evidence from piling anyway.”

“What’s this I hear about evidence?” the six in the room shrieked (Yoongi, Taehyung, and Jungkook had left to give them privacy) as Namjoon walked through the door.

“Namjoon-hyung! What are you doing in our old practice room?” Kai asked with a stutter.

“Just checking on the room we used to practice Permission to Dance in,” Namjoon responded easily. Wait so it was the same room?

“Oh! Okay, um, yeah, well we were just leaving so…” the five members of the group Tomorrow By Together rushed out before Namjoon could stop them, leaving Jay to deal with an understandably confused RM.

Jay was so going back on his promise.

....after he helps them complete their investigation.