Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Monotonous is what some might call it. Though there is a point when repetition becomes insanity. How many times can Regulus go through the same day, see the same faces; and yet instead of stilling him, invoking calm, the boredom brought about the urge to pull his hair in tufts that fell to the floor like feathers of a guilt ridden fallen angel.

The routine would sound peaceful, to repeat a cycle is to know how to behave in it after a certain while. To perform the same song and dance, the rehearsal must make the show easy. This wasn't the case.

Regulus tipped back yet another drink of wine, his third already, and his fingers slipped around the stem of his glass to pour a fourth. The stingy tang of liquor seemed to be the only thing that numbed this ceaseless day in and day out. Reg wondered, was this just life? The monotony had followed him and with it, his little drinking problem.

It was thrilling at first, the change of pace, to work through the ranks of pirating and finally seated at the table he'd been promised to never see, but he reached it. All on his own. The thought curved his lips into a pained smile, taking another long drink and letting his head fall to the table with a soft ‘thud’.

As the Black reminisced in his past, consciousness pulled at the corners of his eyes hazing between regret and alcohol, he heaved a soft sob quiet enough to stay within the confines of his small first mate’s cabin.

As sleep befell him, Regulus found himself in his old home and shivered at the familiarity. His sight trailed along the ornate archways, the crown moldings, the family sigils plastered as far as the eye can see. Regulus knew he was dreaming, he had always been able to be aware while asleep, not that it saved him. It never stopped the echoic chill up his spine, coldness barreling the foyer from her presence.
He didn’t want to turn around, stuck still, stoically focusing on a family portrait hung over the first landing of the grand staircase. He didn’t want to see her. He knew what would happen and stayed still anyway. This dream came to him. Often.

It wasn't but a breath before her spindly fingers clutched around Regulus’ shoulder one by one and the posh nasal in her voice almost forced him to cringe, but he was unmoved, he stood tall.

“Child.” Walburga spat, though she was subject to cruelty Regulus had successfully demanded her to use neutral terms when addressing him or he wouldn't speak with her at all. For a time, when he was of use to her she compromised, but it didn’t last. It doesn't matter much now. All that fighting, all that effort to be himself in her eyes didn't amount to anything. He still left.

“Walburga.” Regulus obliged with the same cold edge in his voice, he'd been trained by the best.

“Explain yourself.” Her manicured nails dug into Regulus' shoulder, making him suck air through his teeth and ball his hands into fists, chin held high.

“I can't stay” he waits a beat and then continues on “this life that's been set out for me, I can't do it.”

He used the same words everytime, the same as the night he left. He recited them, they were a mantra. He had to leave, he knew he'd die in that life.

“I’m going to go, I’ll leave you. I won't be your heir and I’m going to find my real family” Regulus spoke firmly, not looking back to his Mother, but did he need to when her shadow grew inch by inch.

Her figure towered over her son, swallowing any light from surrounding windows and taking full advantage of her exponential size. Black smoke rolled off her in clouds and her voice boomed enough to shake the house's foundation.

“YOU INSULATE CHILD!!! TO HAVE ONE DISOBEDIENT MISTAKE, ONE DISGRACE WOULD BE ENOUGH, BUT TO HAVE A FAILURE OF A DAUGHTER AND HEIR!!! YOU DISGUST ME! YOU DISGRACE THE FAMILY NAME AND YOU SHALL REGRET AND BE PUNISHED FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS!!” The witch screamed, chasms cracking deep into the marble and bricks shuddering and falling from their homes in the walls.

Unsteady on his feet from the sheer chaos Walburga caused, Regulus fell back and covered up his face with defending arms. He braced for what he knew came. His mothers imminent attack. He knew it was coming and waited anyway, laid there, why was he just laying there?

Just as she was dawning down on him,

GASP!

A hoarse shagged breath jolted Regulus up from the table he’d slumped over, sitting up awake. Blinking wildly his shoulders heaved unevenly with hyperventilation and beads of sweat dotted his brow. Reg clutched at his chest and wearily slumped to his cot in the corner of the room.

Shakiness making mobility difficult, Regulus couldn’t keep the whimper from escaping his lips while he plummeted to his scratchy blanket. Even as high ranking as he was he refused to have finery, he wanted nothing that reminded him of home in his cabin.

It was the death eaters, his chosen crew, that reminded him of home. He hated that.

Chapter Text

“Oh, so this is where all my candles went!” James scoffed loftily though there was no sincerity to the superiority ringing in his tone.

Each stair creaked beneath his weight, footsteps falling hastily until he hooked his hand on the banister and swung around using the momentum to run at his friend from behind. James enveloped his mate in a close hug around his chest from behind and nuzzled against his neck, grin splitting from ear to ear.

Sirius’ lack of balance brought about from surprise made him stumble and knock to the ground, both the men laughing on the ground before the shorter of the two whipped around and playfully smacked at James’ head.

“Oi! You twat! I was trying to improve my form with”, Sirius stuck out his leg. It had been cut just past the knee and if you were to lift his pants you'd see the wood binding into his skin. So interwoven you couldn't tell flesh from splinter, “you know what”. Though, you couldn't see where the magical attachment joined him because he wore his signature leather boots. He took notice how they were worn down with use, unlike any other item of Sirius’ exquisite fashion.

James grin turned sheepish and he ducked his head apologetically, “Sorry mate, you'd been missing for ages and I wanted to give you a proper hello!” Meeting his friend’s eyes with the chilled blue of them reminding him of eerily still morning mist, and the dimple dropped from his own cheek, attention focused. James was serious. “Still upset with him?”

“No.” Sirius sighed and rolled into James’ arms and laid his head on his shoulder, they were close like that. It was good, to be able to be that for Sirius, to be able to comfort him. He rubbed his back soothingly under the swath of inky curls and nodded for him to go on, so he did. “I was really mad at first, that he didn’t trust me- er, us enough to tell us but…”

Sirius' frustration melted from his face as he buried his face in James’ chest and let out a muffled grumble that buzzed against James, just able to make out, “I couldn’t ever stay mad at Moony.”.

James let his light heartedness return, a low chuckle in his throat before he pulled back a little to meet Sirius’ eyes. “Perhaps you should tell him? He’s been sulking and beating himself up about it for days now. Won't eat, wont sleep…” amusless concern spread over James face and he looked away his stare settle on Sirius leg, continuing

“I understand he took something from you but when they're in that state” ‘they’ being werewolves. Remus, their close mate and Sirius’ new found lover, was a werewolf. “They don't know what they're doing and I know Remus would never mean to hurt you intenti-” James started spouting but Sirius put his hand over his Captain’s mouth with a knowing smirk. James pouted against his fingertips and let out the air puffed in his cheeks like a deflated sigh, like he'd prepared a whole speech that was ruined with Sirius’ easy understanding, which he had.

“I'll talk to him, if it'll make you quit rambling. I dont mind loosing my leg that much, it hurt..fuck me it hurt, but now that its healed up and a lot of pain potion it gives me an edge~” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows, his smug expression broadening with his shoulders as he puffed out his chest, sitting up and James following.

“Pegleg Black! Or Wooden Boots! Or something” Sirius snickered and James slapped his back with his toothy friendly smile. His real one. He was relieved that the tension on the ship would finally subside. James often felt a need to put on an act for others, maintain an atmosphere of positivity.

As Captain he took on the role to be the guiding light for his crew but, Sirius? Sirius was like his brother, there wasn't any amount of falsehood to their bond. It brought warmth to what normally felt cold inside of himself, little embers swirling round his bones like fall leaves. Directionless but beautiful, and all James could bring himself to do was enjoy it and ignore the sad nature of a dying limb taking its final plummet. How could you think of it so darkly? When it lifted through the breeze so gracefully, he was accustomed to this, knowing he shouldn’t want more than he's given because a deep part of him knew he’d never get it.

James stood first and Sirius took his extended hand to hoist himself off from the floor. He watched Sirius trail up the stairs, taking care with each step as he was still recovering. James blew out the candles Sirius had stolen and started packing them away to return them to their rightful place.

His mind started to wonder as he stacked the candles in neat rows for transport, he stopped and examined one, the pad of his thumb pressed to the drying wax. It was still hot and the pressure of his touch broke at the thin seal like cracked glass, gushing heat over his skin and sending a sharp heated pain up his thumb but James relaxed into the feeling and hummed low in his throat.

He liked the burn.

* * *

Rocky waters rattled and sloshed at the sides of the ship, sharp winds whipping at James' ears and blowing about his messy hair in all sorts of directions. He perched himself at the Bow of the ship, one foot kicked up on a raised wooden perch in a heroic sort of tableau. Breathing in the salt, tasting it on his tongue, James beamed and let his eyes close to bask in the shine of the sun. This was all he could want from the sea.

The ocean gave him what his reckless parents never could, stability. Even as the ship rocked beneath his feet, James never felt so steady as he did on the deck of a ship. Staring out at choppy seas was a pastime he used to let his racing thoughts still, he didn’t have to worry about the right thing to say, to do, all he was responsible for was appreciating the beauty in front of him.

James felt his ear perk but he resisted the urge to jerk his head, the slight shift of floor boards alerting him someone was walking up, he didn’t really think too hard on how he could tell it was Remus. He just had a knack for hearing people's gait. He was used to being able to hear people coming from another room, waiting for them before they even knock. Not that he’d told anyone, not even Sirius, he didn’t ask. A gruff thick accent interrupted James' peace, sounding nervous, “Cap’ y’ve got a moment?”

James turned his chin over his shoulder, his gaze softening at his friend's disheveled state, he couldn’t tell if it was from the full moon or the inevitable confrontation he must've just finished with Sirius. His hair fell messily over his brows and his shirt tucked into his pants in some places and fell loose in others, and there were bruises up his arms and neck which origins were subject to debate.

“Always for my Moony” James strutted over and threw his arm over Remus’ reassuringly, though he took care to keep his touch delicate and thoughtful. He had figured his mate was already racked with guilt, being cheery would be sure to quell his anxiety. “What's on your mind?”

Remus fidgeted with the ends of his sleeves and James turned his eyes back to the water, his grin turning up slightly when he felt Remus relax beneath his arm. His mouth opened a few times and closed again, trying to find the right words before looking down at James’ stoic admiration of the scenery.

“Sirius said he's forgiven me but…” Remus gnawed at the inside of his cheek, James could hear it, “I don't feel like he should..” his voice in a whisper, as if he were fearful the crew would hear them all the way where they stood. James listened and nodded in thought. What to say? He had the impulse, as he always did, to give advice. It’s what he attributed his worth to, but something about how Remus spoke softly made him think a different tact might be better. Well, validating would be a good place to start, and then maybe some advice…

“Well, you’re welcome to feel however you'd like. If you don't want Sirius’ forgiveness you don't have to take it…” Remus’ face lit up with shock but James chuckled and continued “But.” He emphasized “I think you should ask yourself why you don't want it?”

James watched his friend, amber eyes darting around his face, wracking his brain for what could be the reason he felt this way but he was coming up with empty jittery hands. James sensed Remus’ hesitance to start and asked further, “Do you trust Sirius enough that he knows what he wants and knows what’s good for him?”. This seemed to break through and understanding spread across his expression before nodding silently. “I think youre good for him, and he is for you.”

James sighed and rubbed at Remus’ shoulder when he noticed how nervously he’d scratched up the back of his hands, wringing at his sleeves now as he spoke hoarsely, wetness coming to the brim of his eyeline. “How can I be good for him…when I hurt him so badly?”

James shook his head and couldn't help laughing a bit, reassuringly patting Moony’s back “Between you and me, he thinks it makes him cooler”

“Not his leg, James.” Remus’ tone hardened and his stare grew cold “I lied to him, he said… I broke his trust and even if he says he forgives me I don't know how I'm ever going to get his trust back again…” the last word trembled with his lip but he didn't dare let the tears fall, his eyes unblinking.

James turned him gently and pulled him into a hug, though he was about half an inch shorter he squeezed up on his toes to hug Remus tightly and comfortingly. “Moony…I don't know if I have an answer…but do you trust Sirius?”

Remus buried his face against his shoulder and nodded with a sigh, the tears he’d been holding back soaking into the sleeve of James’ shirt. He was more sure about his answer now, though he couldn’t really trust himself or the world he was in, Sirius was all he could trust. James knew this, because he knew Sirius felt the same. Comfortable silence filled the space around them as James held Remus’ unselfishly, only starting again when he felt the shake soften in his friend's breath.

“Well then…I think it's okay to be scared, to not forgive yourself until you fully can, but until that happens maybe lean on Sirius, I know he'd want you to.”

Remus straightened from James embrace, wiping at his nose with the back of his sleeve, a sharp sniff sounded before he nodded to him again. “Thanks cap’ I’ll trust Sirius…”

James put his hands at his hips and puffed his chest proudly, “Glad to be of service~!”, and he meant it. As draining as it could be to always be helpful, he liked how he could make the splotchy redness in Remus’ cheeks brought on by tears, dissipate.

“Speaking of Sirius, have him round up the crew for a raid just at sunset, we're coming up on a vessel that's sure to have enough goods to get us to Pirates Cove”. James winked and when Remus turned on his heel to find Sirius, he sighed lowly and looked back out at his peace.

He was happy for them, truly he was, but James hadn’t ever really found his person yet. He hadn't even found much of anyone that even liked him…he craved that. He yearned for someone to hold his hand and call them his, to wake up in the morning with a song dedicated to his love. Impatient as he was, it made him quite the flirt, especially when the distant brooding introverted type is what made his heart skip a beat. He wished it didn’t, it would be easier if it didn’t.

“When will it be my turn..” James groaned dramatically to himself but let out a half hearted laugh to try and keep his mood light, but why bother? He was alone after all… it was hard to turn it off. Turn off his draining positivity, practiced smile and expressive brows that knotted in so many ways he’d close his eyes at night with a tangled feeling behind them. The ocean caught his sight again and his thoughts of love stilled and he felt at peace with the present once again. He had to, dwelling only made him lose hope, and when he didn’t have hope is when things got dark for James.

* * *

Huddled close to Sirius, both with swords at their sides, James kept sneaking glances at him and his leg. He didn't want to take Sirius on the raid but knew it better to invite him then fight with him, make him feel inferior while in recovery like he knew it would imply, that's just how his friend thought. As their boat stealthily moved round the cove of a remote island, ambushing the other vessel, James took the time to nudge Sirius and glare at the bruises on his neck with a knowing smirk. “So~ I guess you two made up?”

Sirius bit at his lip and nodded with a satisfied grin “Oh yeah, he more than made up for it”, he chuckled and then spotted the very tip of their target vessel and gave the signal. A handful of the Marauders threw over grappling hooks, enchanted with seeking charms so they could swing from the ropes to the opposing ship.

As James swung across, in a split second mid air he could've sworn he'd noticed another ship in the distance, darker against the dark ocean. But by the time his feet landed on deck it disappeared from sight and he shook his head “Must be seeing things..” he huffed to himself.

Quick, he unsheathed his wand and pointed it to the crew members of the raid that had been on deck, stunning some, incapacitating others. Even though they were caught off guard and James had the advantage, the proficiency of his spell work came when he was in a pressured situation. James let his crew take on the remaining fledglings while he stalked his way down to the Captain’s quarters and cornered said man he found behind its door.

“Surrender with honor and keep your life” James smirked loftily, wand perched in the air threateningly and his chest puffed out in picturesque pirate badassery. He even changed how he spoke, giving himself a deeper and booming voice, even more so than his usually charmed one. He had to charm himself, his natural voice was way too high for his liking. He used all kinds of other charms to make himself more intimidating: broader shoulders, flattened chest, deeper voice, angular jaw. All of this affirms who he was, and supports how he felt he should appear.

The rival scoffed and slammed his fist to his desk before shoving himself from his seat to scream in James face, cheeks red and spit flinging from his lip “YOU’LL HAVE TO KILL ME FIRST BEFORE I GIVE UP TH–” his passion croaked as he collapsed over his desk, green lightning running along his body intermittently. The beam had shot over James shoulder just past his ear, it all happened so fast and the silence that came from the captain's death made James realize he no longer heard footsteps from above deck. He turned on his heel quickly, drawing his wand but faltering when he saw..

James yelped and ducked as the younger yet taller looking Sirius shot another electric blast but missed, gaze cold and locked onto James. “Sirius??” The wizards' stoney expression seemed to falter when James said that name and he lowered his wand for a moment, it was all James needed. James stood again quickly and ran around to try and square off the other wizard,
to pin him back against the door to the quarters with his wrists at either side of his head, restricting his wand usage.

“Who are you?! Are you Sirius from the past? With lifts??” James bore down the questions in genuine confusion, leaning in close to inspect his face but not expecting the surprisingly strong head bud to follow. James stumbled back and held his nose and groaned, glaring up at the wizard and huffing as he raised his wand. “I don't care if you are past Sirius, that hurt! Twat!!”

James tried spitting the words harshly but he was still confused about this wizard's true identity, and if this was his friend he didn't really want to hurt him, he hesitated as he pointed his wand and the wizard studied him with an unreadable expression but he stayed still. It was like he knew James wouldn’t fire which only made his confidence waver more, he was so uncertain.

They countered like that for a few minutes, breathing heavily, both able to fire at one another but curiosity stopping them in their tracks. James noticed the lack of continued hostility and slowly started to lower his wand but the other wizard took the advantage to zap at his hand, making him wince and jump back, dropping his weaponry before he saw the green flash before his eyes. Then? Darkness.

Chapter Text

Finding his footing at the top of the stairs, Sirius took a quick glance around the deck of the Marauders, he noticed its barrenhood before heaving the sigh he’d been holding. He didn't want the others to treat him differently, when Peter tried holding the door for him or Mary took things he was carrying just so he wouldn't have to, he snapped. He didn't mean to bite people’s heads off, metaphorically speaking, he just…he hated the look Moony got. That guilty bitter look. It made Sirius feel sick to his stomach, more than the sea sickness he often got most mornings.

Making his way across deck, Sirius had pieced together a few spells to give his walk its signature fluidity. Who would he be without his Sirius Black swagger after all. Though this meant he'd avoid pain potions to keep his focus on the spell strong, and the throbbing that surged up his thigh and lower back was hard to ignore. Is this how Remus felt before a moon? This throbbing burning tearing pain?

Sirius shook away the thought, stopping with his toes at the foot of Remus’ door and he felt his mouth go dry. No one made him nervous except for his Moony. He was upset with him, pissed even, but…he knew it would be short lived. Remus would apologize and Sirius would forgive him and then they’d kiss and make up, like they always had. This gave him reassurance and the confidence to knock so boldly. He usually didn't, usually sauntered in but…given the circumstances he thought it best to keep his cards close to his chest. 

Sirius shifted his weight in agonizing impatience, his brow furrowed, fists clenching and unclenching. With a huff, Sirius raised his hand to knock again but fell forward a little when the door swung open at the exact same moment. Stumbling, Sirius caught himself on broad shoulders, using the other man's stability to regain his own before tipping up his chin to meet his gaze. Oh. There he is.

Sirius wanted to play it cool, let Remus take the lead and get out what he needed to say but he couldn't help himself, his lips curving into a seductive smirk. “Got me falling for you all over again Moons~”

Sirius would remember he was mad, upset about the break of trust, but the small smile that curved over Remus' anxious expression made his memory melt. It was enough to just be in his arms, which is why he let out a whine when Remus sat him up straight again and stepped away from him, gesturing to let him inside. Sirius pouted a bit to himself, crossing his arms as he sat on the edge of Moony's bed, they had their own rooms of course but he loved Moony’s room. He loved the smell of his sheets, the muggle posters he'd hung around his room with sketchings of wanted pirates all with bounties that would make a king drool. 

“So…” Remus started, oh to hear his voice again. Sirius wanted to focus on what Remus had to say, he really really did but, he was also wearing that t-shirt with the rips towards his waist line that Sirius had done in desperate attempts to get it off of him, and his hair shagged around his face so lovely. The same rough brown trousers with buttons along the side to keep them snug around his hips. Sirius leaned back on his palms, and even though Remus’ lips moved, the words were lost to him and all he could focus on was the contour of his lips when he said his name. 

“rius…Sirius? Hey! Are you even hearing me??” finally got through and Sirius blinked himself from staring and smiled attentively up at Remus. 

“Yes! Yes Listening!”

“Really?” A stark eyebrow cocking in disbelief “So you agree then?”

Sirius gulped, noticing Remus’ stance shifting, challenging, his hip leant out and his arms crossed and the way his eyes darkened sent a shiver up Sirius' spine. 

“Yes…I'll always agree with you Moony!” seemed like the safest response. 

“Good. Then..” His voice paused but his eyes roamed, Sirius could feel them on his skin, burning through his clothes. Afterall his button down was just barely closed to expose his flawless chest, all tucked into those tight leather pants he knew drove Remus crazy. “What's your safe word?”

Sirius would gulp again if his mouth had not gone so dry with anticipation, something to swallow to ground himself, but when his mouth came up empty his mind started to get a bit fuzzy. He knew they hadn’t discussed the werewolf thing, he didn't really care at this moment, he hadn't jumped Moony's bones in a solid week. Way too long if you were to ask him. 

“Star.”

“Come here.”

Sirius obliged, standing slowly while using the bed to steady his balance before walking up, keeping his hands crossed over his chest, eyes still caught on the murkiness in Remus’ gaze. 

The darkness lingered until a hand came up and Sirius melted into it, nuzzling into the pad of Remus’ thumb, Sirius sighed dreamily. 

“I missed you…I missed you so much Moony”

Sirius took the touch as an invitation, slipping his hands around Remus’ waist and nuzzling up against his chest and found himself purring with contentment as Remus' big strong arm wrapped around him as well but slid down to hold his ass, kneading at his left cheek and his hand turned from a soft caress at Sirius’ cheek to a firm hold on his jaw, angling his head to the side as he leaned down to whisper gruffly in his ear. 

“Show me.”

The words sent another shiver through him, he wanted to bite back how excited he was but he couldn't ever hide anything from Moony, his grin wide and eager. He didn’t need to be told twice. Sirius dove up, his lips latched to his tender scared skin and were quickly accompanied by his teeth, sinking deep into the crook of Moony’s neck, and earning a low groan that only spurred him on further. The relentless attack against Remus traveled along his collar bone and when he reached under Moony’s ear, nibbling at the lobe, Sirius felt a strong hand wrap around his throat which of course sent a thrill to the tightening space in his leather pants.

Pulling back for a breath, Sirius admired the deepended purple and red bruises around his lover's neckline. He smirked up at him with swollen plump lips which seemed only to have spiked the wolf’s hunger, those fiery lips surged down and caught Sirius’ cocky smirk with desire that burned so hot it had clearly been building upon itself for days, knowing this only turned him on further. He wanted Moony to know just how much he'd been wanting him and waiting for him too so he let out a delighted moan loud enough to get groans from the cabin mates next door, quite used to this. Sirius didn't care. 

Their tongues tangled and Sirius did his best to fight against Moony for dominance, he wasn't giving up without a fight especially since he was the one who was ‘supposed’ to be upset. Impatient, Sirius pressed his hips up against Remus’ and let out another moan that was swallowed whole by their kiss, feeling him already rock hard beneath his pants. Gods . 

Sirius let one of the hands on Moony's chest dip down and palm over the bulge tight in his pants and grinned when Remus’ focus on their lips wavered giving Sirius the advantage to suck on Remus’ tongue and then bite his lip, tugging playfully. Guiding him back to the bed with a grip on his cock, Sirius sat back on the edge and looked up to the man above him, panting and eyes hazed with lust, just how he liked it. 

Now at level with his hips, Sirius took the opportunity to lean in and let his breath dance over the thin scratchy fabric, ignoring the irritated groan from Remus, not sure whether he could take the teasing this go around. Sirius leaned in, paying Remus’ obvious demand for attention no mind, and suckled his way along the shaft. The friction of the fabric against his plump lips was rough but he liked how it scraped at his cheek when he nuzzled against him, the light friction obviously keeping Remus’ from what he truly desired. Sirius was content to ignore him and continue lapping at his trousers like they were his favorite treat but then he felt fingers graze from his throat and lace into his hair, gripping it into a messed bundle to take control of his head. Sirius could only flick his gaze up and felt his cheeks burn from the sight he’d made of Remus, breath uneven and cock twitching in his pants. 

He could get lost under it all, the lustful watch through his lashes made Sirius all too happy to submit. Quickly pushing down the fabric from his hips, too desperate to fiddle with his buttons, his cock sprung out in front of Sirius only for a moment before being enveloped by his supple lips. Sirius pressed down further when he heard Remus hiss in pleasure, he was used to taking in his length, familiar with the contours of his own throat to get Moony moaning his name. 

Sirius let his hands run up against his thighs in invitation, tongue sliding skillfully over his shaft before the tip tapped at the back of his throat, hilted inside of him. Groaning in satisfaction, Sirius did his best to focus on his breath while he felt his hair being held tightly in place all so Remus’ hips could fuck into his face. 

Even if Sirius was starting to reach his limit, it only turned him on more. He could tell how close Remus’ was with such subtle things like the way his breath hitched and his head fell forward, nose scrunching up as he tried to focus on lasting but Sirius wasn't about to have that. He swallowed around his member to urge him to stop holding back, and the dangerous growl from behind gritted teeth was all Sirius needed to hear before the tears rolled down his cheeks and Remus pumped ruthlessly into his throat. 

Sirius cried into the thrusts and gripped his thighs needily, fingernails digging into the curves of his hips until he was pulled clean from Remus and pressed back into the mattress. Sirius coughed and gasped, blinking, trying to reach up to rub his eyes and try to get an idea for what was happening. One moment Remus was fucking into his mouth with the passion of a wolf in heat and the next he felt tender hands guide him further back against the bed. The whiplash was dizzying to say the least, and a soft grip pinned his wrists to either side of his face, leaving his eyes teary. 

“M-Moony?”

“Yeah..?” Oh fuck, his voice sounded so hot, his touch felt so hot, Sirius was burning up and felt the fire trail up his back and neck in building frenzy. 

“Why…why’d you stop?”

“So you really weren’t listening” His chuckle, it was low from the back of his throat, and it did things to Sirius. 

“Mm…” was all he could really manage, his head still swirled with desire so coherency wasn't on his side. 

“I…well I wanted to give you…what you want… but I don't think…I should get to finish after what I…well” Sirius’ focus was starting to come back to him as Remus tried to lay out his idea. He shook his head and leaned up on his elbows and blinked the haze from his eyes to see Remus towered over him. 

Sirius wanted to object, he wanted to tell Moony he was wrong for punishing himself, but his gaze traveled further down and rested at his cock that twitched from the attention. A devious smirk crossed over his lips and Remus’ continued explanation lazily pulled Sirius’ gaze to meet his eyes. 

“How about this then? I choose the punishment, and I say, you're only allowed to come..” Sirius leaned up, kissing Remus’ cheek “with me, and '' he kissed the other and then purred against his ear “inside me.”.

Sirius didn't have to see his reaction to know Remus liked the idea, feeling a firm grip on his hips and thumbs hooking in at the waistband of the leather. Sirius lifted his hips, their limbs tangling to strip each other before Sirius noticed Remus pause and his sight caught on Sirius’ leg. 

Sirius was about to tell him off until he felt soft, gentle, brushes of his lips skirting down his chest, hip, thigh, and then their eyes met. Sirius nodded slowly and watched Remus tend to the leather straps tying the wooden appendage in place and waved his hand over it to remove the charm that fused it to his leg. Sirius winced at the pressure he felt and bit his lip to hold back a yelp, but Remus pressed another tender kiss to his thigh just above his bandages and hummed lowly. 

“Love…please take some pain potion won't you?” Remus' voice was husky and low with need, it almost made Sirius forget the pain throbbing in his leg, but he shook his head despite the pain. 

“No way, you were just about to-” He knew if he were high on pain potion they wouldn't be able to finish what they started, and Sirius desperately wanted to finish.

“Sirius.” His voice was stern, no room to argue, it was so aggravating.

“Can we… at least get off before?” Sirius gave a final attempt, batting his pretty lashes in a way he knew Remus folded for everytime. His pout morphing to a greedy smile when Remus pressed up again and kissed him again. Sirius wrapped his arms around his neck, lips buzzing with the soft moans that came from their hips pressing together. 

With Remus’ weight pressing him back into the bed, his cock flush against his own, Sirius let his eyes flutter closed with bliss. Humming in contentment he leaned his head back while Remus gave him the same brutality that he’d done to his neck earlier, although against his pale skin the bruises were more punishing. 

Remus wrapped his hand around the both of them and pulled quickly in one thick stroke and groaned lowly against Sirius' collarbone as he gnawed at it lovingly. 

“Mm.. remember my rule~” Sirius purred singsongingly with a smile, eyes fluttering for a bit just to catch the annoyed look on Remus’ face. 

“Sirius.” He growled again and pumped his hand, this time with a feverish pace, eager to get them somewhere quick. Sirius whimpered at the friction, his breath heavier and his hips starting to buck up into Remus’ hand. 

“Moony~” He moaned shamelessly in response and let his hands tangle in the mess of hair that reminded him of leaves in the fall. He used his hold to surge his head further against his neck and Remus bit down hard, tasting metal as he broke into Sirius' skin and earned a cry of pleasure. 

Hips bucking feverishly, Sirius whimpered with need, he craved more, he needed more. Remus, able to read his subtleties just as Sirius did his, loosened his grip and slid his cock from Sirius’ to his entrance, lining himself up but keeping his pace around his cock quick, never ending, twisting his wrist on the head as he entered him and bottomed out. 

Taking them both by surprise from the sheer overwhelming pleasure and comfort in each other after so long apart it shocked the both of them into their high. Remus didn't stop though, his hand bobbed on Sirius cock and his hips pulled back and bucked up to ride out their climaxes until all they could focus on was how tired each of them was. 

Sirius melted back into the bed with a hum, relishing in the full feeling of Remus still inside of him, Remus laid overtop of Sirius with his forearms braced against either side of his head with a heavy pant. 

Wiggling up, Sirius reached into Moony’s bedside table drawer stocked full with pain potion and popped open a bottle. Remus covered the lid and dipped down to kiss Sirius, really kiss him, he could tell he wanted to savor him. Sirius grinned into his lips and when their kiss broke, he nuzzled their noses. 

“I forgive you, but if you ever keep something from me again I won't let you touch me for much much longer than a week.” Sirius had a smile on his lips but his threat was dangerous and he felt a slight jolt from Remus’ cock inside of him, making him giggle. 

With that, he downed the pain potion and melted into a puddle of relief against Remus’ chest, who held him close and rubbed his back in soothing circles until his breath evened out and he slept soundly.

Chapter Text

Remus held Sirius close, almost like if he’d let him go he’d slip away. He knew he’d fucked up. He knew Sirius forgave him all too quickly, which he was grateful for but he still felt something tugging at his chest. 

He furrowed his brows sleepily and buried his face against Sirius’ velvety curls, tense muscles relaxing at the soft hints of bergamot flooding his senses. Remus loved Sirius, had for quite some time but he knew Sirius was a bit slower to those sorts of things. 

Life was and had always been a series of ‘buts’, he was accustomed to there always being a catch. Though, the catch of Sirius’ struggle for commitment didn't really feel like a catch, not to Remus. 

Life, choices, loving, breathing…it just all became so much simpler with Sirius. Whatever made his pretty boy smile was whatever he wanted to do. So…why did he want to hurt Sirius?

The question taunted him, why would his wolf want to take a part of Sirius? Remus groaned, knowing his thoughts wouldn't allow him peaceful sleep no matter how lovely Sirius felt snuggled against his chest. Remus rubbed up his back, brushing a soft kiss against his temple before shifting to lay him back bundled in a blanket. 

The bed creaking as he stood, he smiled softly at the disapproving whine from the lack of warmth Remus provided. He leaned down, kissing over one of the deliciously deep bruises he’d cut into his once pristine skin, earning a soft purr. 

“Just getting us something to eat before the raid, love.”

Love . And he did. Love Sirius. He had since the first night he’d forced Remus to dance under the stars, just the two of them. No music, the only two on deck, and Sirius tried to teach him to waltz but Remus was too focused on how much his face was flushing at Sirius’ gentle touch. 

Remus lifted from the bed again, making his way to get his favorite snack, toast with squared off spreads of various marmalades and jams. 

* * *

Landing to the opposition’s deck with a thud beneath his boots, Remus swung around as he watched Sirius land as well. His eyes didn’t linger on his lover long as he swung around and unsheathed his sword. He knew James would go for the captain and all their team had to do was take out the foot soldiers. 

Remus surged forward, his curved blade sliding effortlessly as his wrist twisted the hilt in swivels that made quick work of the raided pirates. After a final slash to a man screaming and running frantically at him in what he assumed was almost a hope that the intimidation would play in his favor. It did not. 

While the others liked poking, ripping, or general spellsmanship, Remus adored slashing. His signature was to leave his corpses with the same deep thrashes that matched his own so well. 

Breath heavy in his chest, heaving, Remus looked back to catch a look at Sirius and…he was a sight. Sirius had just pulled his dagger from some poor fuckers eye and the way he ran his finger along the blood soaked metal sent a shiver down to Remus’ cock. No. No! Not right now.

Remus blinked it away and turned to look around the deck, nodding to Marls and Lily as they hilted their wands, although Marlene usually brought her sledge axe, ‘perhaps such a quick mission didn't call for something so extravagant’, he thought. 

Remus, noticing their opponents now vanquished, came back to Lily and scrunched his nose when she wiped blood from his cheek. 

“Stop that, I’m not your little brother” Remus huffed but the small smile curving at his lips assured Lily it was light hearted. She understood him this way, in a way most people would find him abrupt or cold, Lily just got him. 

She ignored him and then licked the back of her thumb and went in at his cheek again before he caught her wrist and bent it behind her with a laugh as she pushed him back and broke free only to aim her wand to his chin playfully. 

Remus chuckled softly and shook his head, his shagged hair flowing messily over his brows and he pushed it back only to have his attention caught again. By Sirius. Always by Sirius. He was tying back his hair into a lazy sort of bun all kept in place with his wand as a pin. 

Some strands dangled loose from the style and it framed his face beautifully. There wasn't a single thing about Sirius that wasn't beautiful, to Remus, and probably everyone else too. 

Remus rubbed at the back of his neck and let his eyes fall before Sirius could meet them, clearing his throat and grumbling for the small team to hear. 

“We should probably check on James?”

Remus looked up for approval and with Lily, Marlene, and Pandora nodding, he specifically notices Sirius already wandering down to the ship's interior. Fuck . He was always running ahead and causing trouble. 

Lily was soon after him, Remus watched with a groan before following, furrowing his brow when he felt a brush of cold air and something shove against his shoulder. He could've sworn someone was there but the sensation left as soon as it came and Remus’ attention was snatched by Sirius crying. Oh no. Sirius!? Was he ok? Did something hurt him!? Where was he???

Remus rushed down the rest of the stairs and hooked the corner, eyes fiery and fist clenched around the hilt of his sword in preparation. His heated breath stands still, and for a beat Remus doesn't breathe at all, because he sees Sirius draped over James’ motionless body crying and screaming for help. 

Lily had her wand pressed to his chest, trying to evaluate what had happened, obviously a spell, but what happened?! Remus couldn't feel strength in his legs, he slid down to his knees and felt stinging at his wide fearful eyes. Was he? No…Lily wouldn't be so calm if he was but, he was NOT well.

Remus felt his jaw shudder and he tried to speak but the words choked in his throat, even if he could it would be too soft over Sirius’ heaving sobs.

“Oh for Merlin's sake Sirius!” Lily shoved Sirius’ chin up to look him square in the face. “If you keep pulling him away I can’t stabilize him! Remus, come get Sirius and then send down Marlene and Pandora. We’ll carry James and you and Sirius can run ahead back to the ship to get a table ready with potions!”

Lily barked the orders efficiently, direct enough to command Remus’ legs to follow her will. He scooped up Pads and felt him instantly cling to his chest shaking with tears. Remus stroked his hair soothingly and then he finally got a glimpse of James. He hadn't been able to see much but his shoes behind Lily’s knelt position and Sirius’ waves draped over him. 

He looked pale and sweaty, the image conjured sickness like a deep pit in Remus’ stomach and he understood why Sirius was so distraught. James looked on death's door. How did this happen? Sirius clawed at his shoulders and brought him back to the task at hand: help Sirius, prep the ship for James.

Rushing back, potions laid out, the girls all heaved James onto the big wooden table that he had cleared out. Pain potions and mixed herbs Pete swore remedies hexes were all at the ready and Lily got to work. 

She’d been studying to be a healer, wanted to ever since Mary got into a rumble that let her banged up pretty bad. She’d gotten pretty good, but whatever had hit James seemed to make her nervous.

Remus held him against his chest, close, as Sirius held one of James' lifeless hands. His tears had subsided to saddened whimpers and his thumb never stopped stroking the back of James' hand. Remus was terrified of losing James, he was their guiding light. He held the crew together, held Sirius together. 

Sirius hadn’t brought up his home life too often but Remus knew James made it better. Knew James was the one Sirius came to about those things. Knew that if James was gone, not only would he lose his best friend but he'd lose the love of his life as well.

“He needs space. Why don't you two go put the loot in storage and then get us out of this bay?” Lily ordered again, although James had made Sirius his first mate it was always Lily that acted like she was second in command.

Remus nodded sheepishly, he had struggled to find the words all while Sirius could do nothing but spill them. Things like “..James…I'm so sorry…I shouldn't have let you go alone…please..James say something…wake up…please…James…James!!” It was heart wrenching to listen to, his voice cracking weakly as he sniffled a sharp breath through his nose. 

Remus laid Sirius back in his bed and when he went to move, to store the loot, Sirius held his arm firmly and whispered, “Don’t leave me too…”. Another twist of the dagger hurting his heart, he complied with a soft sigh and cupped Sirius’ cheek when he sat at the edge of the bed. 

“I'm not going anywhere Pads” He reassured him with his voice softening and his lips pressing in a chaste kiss to his forehead. He saw Sirius visibly relax, nuzzling into Remus’ pillow and curling up in the blanket.

Remus sighed, casting a quick spell to send a message to Pete, informing him that storing the loot was now his chore and to get Evan to steer the ship. Remus had to tend to Sirius. Not that he saw him as fragile but that he took a lot of maintaining. Remus liked it, maintaining him. He felt he was quite good at it. To just touch Sirius and to see him melt beneath his skin was just as mesmerizing as the first time he’d seen it. 

Once Sirius’ breath evened out to slumber, Remus rubbed over his head and kissed the top of it before standing from the bed. 

“Sorry Pads” was all he mumbled before walking out from the room and knocking softly before stepping in at Lily’s approval. 

“How…is he?” Remus managed nervously, wringing at the ends of his sleeves as he gnawed at his lip. He dared to let his gaze dip down to James and was relieved when he saw him much more normal colored. The redness had come back to his lips, and he seemed like he was just sleeping peacefully. Well, as peacefully one could sleep on a hard table. 

“Better, should be up and about by tomorrow evening but only if we force him to take it easy. You know how he can be.” She gave Remus a knowing look and he chuckled, lighter now that he was sure James would be alright. 

“Have you figured out what happened?”

“It’s hard to pinpoint the source but- it's for sure dark magic. I think its a death eater signature…” Lily spoke gravely and looked back to Remus, the fear in her eyes quelling his smile. “I almost couldn't…I thought I was going to lose him–” She whimpered and when Remus opened his arms to her, she fell against his chest and hugged him close. 

Remus sighed lowly, mostly to remind Lily to slow her breaths as she hyperventilated, and she seemed soothed by the reminder. 

“He’ll be ok Lils, you did a good job…” He promised to her softly and rubbed the back of her head so she could take solace in the fact she nuzzled her cheek into his chest.

“I can watch him, if you wanted to go check on Mary?” Remus shot her a suggestive smile and Lily’s anxiety quickly bloomed to bashfulness in her cheeks. Remus knew it was only him Lily had confided in about her crush on Mary and although they'd only shared drunken snogs when the crew got rowdy he knew it was real for Lils.

Remus chuckled when she nodded fast against him and he stepped back and watched her hop up the steps, sitting at the stool beside James’ table and slumping his forehead into his arms that rested against the table’s edge. 

“Merlin James…how'd you get mixed up with death eaters?” Remus grumbled into the fabric of his jumper and with all the adrenaline worn off he felt his eyelids get heavier and heavier until he sank into sleep.

* * *

“Wanker! Bloody Twat! Prick!!!” Each curse punctuated with a proper hard smack to the back of the head startled Remus awake, standing quickly and grunting sleepily as he held up his hands in defense. It must be morning by the way the light trickles in through a side window, and Remus found himself defending against his lover.

“You said you’d stay with me and I woke to what?!” Sirius huffed, rightfully pissed.

“...an empty bed” Remus mumbled shamefully and groaned, looking back at James who would usually stick up for him right about now but he was fast asleep so Remus took a step to close the distance between him and Sirius. Dipping down to growl against his ear, “I’ll make it up to you later, hm?”. 

Just as Sirius knew what buttons to press to get his way with Remus, so did he, and he used it to its full advantage. The bob of Sirius’ adams apple was all the confirmation he needed before pulling back and sitting in his stool once again, yawning.

“He’s going to be ok?”

“By dinner he should be prancing around as he always is”

“That's good”

“Yeah”

“Moony?”

“Yeah, Pads?”

“If…if you ever…let yourself be hurt like that…if you ever scare me the way James just did..” his breath hitches and Remus turned in the stool to face him, giving his undivided attention, “i’ll never forgive you.”.

Remus didn't know if he was supposed to feel endeared by the sentiment of Sirius wanting him safe or if he was to be fearful of losing him to something out of his control. Remus tried to start a few times, his lips parting and closing before he nodded curtly. 

“You have to promise”

“Pads–”

“No!” It came off way brattier than Remus thought Sirius had intended but he listened to him anyway, “No, you need to promise me I- I really can't lose you Moony” his eyes started to well with tears again and Remus couldn't bare it. 

Pushing from the stool again he held Sirius close to him and felt Sirius shifting against his chest and sigh in comfort from hearing his steady heart beat. Remus looked down at him as he stroked the back of his head and mumbled something only low enough for Sirius to barely catch. 

“I promise.”

Remus let his hands slip down to hold Sirius' waist, guiding him back so he could sit, again, with Sirius standing between his spread thighs. At this position they were face to face with one another, and as much as Remus liked towering over Sirius, with his big body and head out of the way he could see the light catch in Sirius's eyes. 

The redness from crying didn't dull their shine though, if anything it made them sparkle, glistening from the wetness of his earlier tears. Remus cupped his cheek once again and ghosted the pad of his thumb over dried tear streaks on his delicate skin. 

“I expect the same from you too, you know. Out of the two of us, who is more reckless?”

Remus asked with a cocked brow to make Sirius quirk into a challenged grin, like he didn't want to be so happy about the prospect of either of them losing each other but Remus seemed to make anything easier to talk about. 

They stayed that way for a while, either stroking each other or whispering soft reassurances that they were there to stay with one another, safe and warm in each other's embrace until James stirred and Sirius pounced. 

Remus tugged at his shoulder, “Oi! Off of him, he’s still recovering, let him sleep!” His shouts came in a hushed tone,a poor attempt at a stern whisper. 

Sirius ignored his words and swatted at his hand that desperately tried to peel him from straddling James’ chest. 

“Prongs! Prrrooonnngsss!” Sirius whined and poked at his cheeks before James blinked his eyes open and let out a low groan, hand coming up slowly to pinch at the bridge of his nose like he did when his glasses sat too heavy, then rubbed his temple. 

“Sirius…?” James' voice was hoarse and weak, none of its notorious glamor and shine, it almost made Remus wince in sympathy but he knew better than to feign pity. James hadn't ever done it to him so he wasn't about to start.

“Sirius!” James shoved Sirius and scrambled back and sat up quickly, too quickly from the looks of how he grabs his head and groans out in pain. Remus pulled Sirius from the table and set him down before holding out a pain potion to James. 

James looked up like a deer in headlights, chest heaving in short quick breaths that surely didn't give him the oxygen he was clearly desperate for. Remus put his hand to James' shoulder, firmly to steady him, and when he met James’ eyes they were wild and fearful. 

“Merlin James- what happened to you??” Remus whispered but shoved the potion to his lips and James, with the prompting drank it all in one gulp, before pointing shakily at Sirius. 

“You were taller, but your hair was short and…and you hexed me!” James sputtered but it sounded like nonsense and Sirius looked to Remus with just as much confusion. 

“Ah mate, he was above deck the whole time, he and Marls found you in the captain’s quarters all passed out on death's door” Remus corrected him and James shook his head and ran his hands through his mussed hair, greasy from when sweat slicked it previously. 

“No! No… I.. I’m sure I saw Sirius or- at least he looked like Sirius…? Like Sirius when I first met him…” His voice trailed and the comment must've sent realization to Pads because the way he started backing up and shaking his head caught Remus’ attention. 

“Spit it out Pads' ' Remus' voice comes out a little more firm then he means to but he's already holding down James to keep him from choking on air, he was being pulled like thread in a scarf, slowly unraveling. He was being so steady for everyone else with James not up to the task and he felt the toll it was taking. Merlin, how does James stay so bloody positive all the time?

Remus groaned at the both of them and closed his eyes to try and recede the growing headache starting to pound behind his brows. 

“..my brother”.

It’s James’ eyes that tell Remus that

he , whoever he is,

is trouble.

Chapter Text

“Mate, I think you might be over thinkin’ it’, there's loads of blokes goin’ by… that name…er and that look like you..ok i s’pose that's not helping my case but–” Barty huffed, his words only slurring slightly as he poured the both of them another round of shots.

Regulus was pacing back and forth, walking the full length of his small cabin and then whipping around on his heel and charging in the other direction. Nibbling on the edge of his thumb as he muttered incoherently, seemingly to Barty’s great annoyance. 

He couldn't help himself, he couldn't help his racing thoughts as they zoomed past him like someone shouting on horseback, unintelligible. 

Reg stopped in the center of the warp he was working into the floor and looked to the shots on the table with a soft huff. “You're just trying to get me drunk” He accused, stare piercing.

Barty doesn't seem phased though, he never does, or if he even was he never showed it. Relaxing back against the wall as he lazily sipped his shot and nodded to the glass closest to Regulus. 

“Would it be so bad if I was?” He mused and Regulus didn't seem to object then.

He picked up the glass and downed it but still refused to sit and then started his pacing back and forth in the other direction of the room, choosing to not hear the loud groan from the unhelpful friend behind him.

“If I…go after him…I could see my brother again” His voice started to raise in hopes but hitched and winced “If i go after him…I could see my brother” the hope soured on his tongue and anger started to rise.

Regulus didn't know what to do with all this heat rising up inside of him, so he poured himself a shot and took it, and another, and another. 

It had been, well Regulus didn't know how many shots in but he was back against his cot and sitting thigh to thigh with Barty, head slumped against his shoulder as Barty spoke lowly. The rasp of his voice was comforting and his cadence was always soft and caring and gave Regulus a sense of security, so maybe that's why Regulus does not object to Barty’s hand slowly slipping over his thigh. 

Regulus watches of course, but says nothing, he wasn't nearly plastered enough to not be able to stop Barty if he wanted to but, well, he liked the attention. He knew Barty to be particularly flirtatious, he'd talked about shagging pretty much everyone on the ship save the Dark Lord and Lucius, so why not relish in the attention?

Regulus hummed lowly and lifted his head slightly from Barty's shoulder and his lips gazed along his neck, breath flush with the heated skin. Regulus noticed a shiver from him and pressed forward, his nose nuzzling against his jaw as he mumbled something he didn't even quite hear himself. He missed his brother.

He missed his brother, he wanted to find his brother, he wanted to go out and track him down but he was drunk and Barty's hand started circling on his inner thigh and making coherency fog in Regulus’ mind.

“You ok?” Barty's voice was genuine, his hand stilling as he leaned over to try and catch regulus’ eye. Reg obliged by nuzzling closer and planting a firm kiss to his neck.

“I don't know…I just..” Reg had his hand hooked in the collar of Barty's shirt now and tugged on it suggestively. “You can kiss me…you can touch me, if you want?”

Regulus doesn't really gauge Barty's reaction, in fact he's a bit too busy turning and hooking a leg around his mate and straddling his lap. This isn't their first dalliance, but this was the first time Reg was upset enough, just tipsy enough, to be much more assertive and desperate. 

Reg put his hand at each of Barty's shoulders and looked down with a hooded gaze, letting his tongue flick over his bottom lip before biting in anticipation. The groan spilling from Barty was sign enough that he looked good doing it, Regulus always looked good, it was his family. His features cut like the finest gemstone, eyes frigid and ethereal like the northern lights, and he wrapped it all up with the bow of his biting remarks and glorious fashion sense. 

Even with all of those, Reg didn't have a lot of contenders in the dating department but his little flings with his good mate were a close second and the attention made him feel cherished, important, even if it was fleeting. Even if it was done without acknowledgement the next day.

Reg didn't wait for Barty before he started rolling his hips slowly in his lap, trying to angle himself to get friction for the both of them but doesn't find it until Barty’s hands move his hips and he doubles over with his head in the other man’s shoulder. He holds back a shuddered breath and grinds where Barty leads him, the flush in his cheeks not just alcohol now.

Regulus’ hips rocked lazily at first, enjoying the small friction before his cock twitched to life and he craved more, and by the growing problem in his mate’s trousers he guessed the same was true for Barty. 

Reg hummed slowly as he felt a hand slid up his back and snake around to hold his jaw, tilting his head up and looking into his eyes. “Regulus…can– do you think you can suck me off?”

Regulus noticed the twinkle in his eye and hummed as he leaned into his hand. He hummed like he was thinking about it but no thoughts actually did come, he just hummed and rocked his hips. 

“Suck..?” Reg finally mused and then his eyes trailed down Barty’s chest and he found himself glued to the bulge against his own. “Mm..” was the answer he gave as he slowly slid back in his lap and laid against the cot before working down his pants past his hips and gasping when his hard on sprung out. 

Regulus had jolted back a bit but looked up at Barty when his cock tapped against his cheek. “I always expect you to-” hiccup “have boxers on, and you never do” he huffed but there wasn't an ounce of disapproval in his tone. 

“I aim to be ready” Barty shot him a wink, Regulus followed it with fanning a breath along his shaft and stroking his hand around him in a lazy pump. 

“Yeah?” Regulus wanted to get Barty to talk more just so he could shut him up again with pleasure but Barty seemed to get the memo early and just whimpered under Regulus’ attention. Reg would pout but he decided to chase for more noises, more sinful moans of his name.

He leaned down, and this was not the first time he'd taken Barty into his mouth, so he knew how to tease him beautifully. Kissing and licking at the tip of him, Reg spurred him on with cute moans, nuzzling his cheek against his as he suckled the base and pumped and twisted his wrist.

Barty was only biting the back of his hand to stop curses from spilling out and Regulus wished he would tell him what he liked and didnt so he wouldn't have to decipher between heated breaths and gasps. 

Regulus pushed down the thought similarly to how his lips pressed down, stretching around his length until Regulus hilted and hummed around him, sending Barty’s back arching. Reg seemed content by this development and hummed again, letting out a devastatingly cock twitching moan. 

He liked the feeling of his length down his throat, not particularly because it was Barty’s cock but, he liked the full feeling. He liked having something to play with in his mouth, something to slide his tongue over, let his teeth ever so slightly graze the head to catch a dangerous glance from his mate.

Regulus wanted his hand in his hair, he wanted this rougher, he wanted to be wanted so badly that control escaped his partner but Barty stayed still, his hips to the cot and hands at either side of him.

Reg sighed and pulled back before stroking with his hand and leaning up, lips parted and swollen to latch at Barty’s neck, and he returned the favor. 

Reg and Barty tangled like that for a while, biting at each other's skin and Reg diving down every so often to bob on his dick before he felt precum start to coat his tongue and he doubled his efforts, gagging on his cock as he pressed further and this seemed to be the tightness he needed before he pulled Regulus face back and spurted into his own hand. 

Reg hated that, he at least wanted it on his face if he wasn't going to let him swallow, so he leaned in and licked over the backs of his cum soaked fingers and hummed when Barty made quick work of Reg’s pants and let his fingers skirt over his cock but paused and looked down and the drunken Reg hiccuped again. 

Reg hummed in confusion but gasped and nodded, reaching for his wand but arching when he felt Barty’s hand slide back, ignoring his front to slide slick fingers against his ass. Reg gasped softly and collapsed forward shakily against Barty's chest and gripped at his collar again. 

Barty must've liked how Reg folded because he massaged and circled at his entrance and made Reg moan weakly against his ear, sinful as his hips pressed back to his touch for more. As if he’d read his body language, Reg gasped in delight when he felt a finger slowly press past his ring and snake its way deeper inside of him, eased in with the sticky lubricant. 

“Mm..feels..good” Reg spoke lowly under his breath, just for the other to hear and he shushed him tenderly before pulling his finger back and then pumping it in again slowly. Another shaky moan spilled from Regulus and Barty covered his mouth with his free hand now. 

“If you can't stay quiet i'm going to have to gag you” Barty warned, knowing if he was found like this with the first mate he would surely endure a harsh Crucio from the Dark Lord. Seen as a distraction even though he was saving Reg from a brother finding mission the Dark Lord had trouble seeing things from his perspective. 

Reg whimpered softer and pecked a kiss to his cheek. This seemed sweet enough to earn him another finger, scissoring him open a bit and Reg had to bury his face against Barty's shoulder to whine. The sensation was good, not nearly as good as when he did it himself since he could tell what he liked and didn't but, the pressure and the sliding against his hole sent shivers to his spine. 

This seemed to make Barty want to double his efforts by the way his fingers started pumping faster, more vigor, and it made Reg grit his teeth a bit. The cum had only lasted as good lube for about a minute and fingering Reg dry was starting to make his mind numb from the mixed feeling. He couldn't quite say it was painful but he couldn't quite call it pleasure either, his hips shifting desperately for Barty’s fingers to hit something good.

After another few minutes of this agonizing pressure, not bad but not good either Reg took advantage of his spell not being cast and arched his back, crying loudly, fakely, into Barty’s shoulder and shuddering against him like he'd been brought to orgasm. He hadn't, but he was a fine enough actor when the both of them were still hazed from drink with no sure fire way to tell he came without his charm to alter his anatomy, he was off the hook.

Barty finally pulled back his fingers, wiping them on his shirt and nuzzling close to kiss Regulus neck with a triumphant smirk and Regulus saw this as a win for the both of them. Barty got to feel high and mighty, and Regulus could just enjoy the lazy supple kisses against his neck. 

Kissing always seemed to feel best anyway, whenever he had Barty fumble with his cock or ass it just wasn't the same as the heat knotting in his stomach from neck kisses. 

Regulus sighed dreamily and relaxed into the kisses until sleep claimed him and the darkness that enveloped his consciousness shifted scenery. Reg looked around the darkened plane and tried to find up, down, something to get his bearings before sinking into his old room. His old , old room. From when he and Sirius had shared, insisted on sharing, they were inseparable. 

Reg looked around, admiration filling his eyes with bittersweet pain, his fingertips skirting along a poster's edge before he heard the door slam close. He looked back over his shoulder to see Sirius, the last time he'd seen him anyway. There was blood dripping from his nose over his chin, a cut at his cheek bone and lip, and a quite nasty bruise forming around the both. 

Reg froze up as Sirius surged forward and although his face contorted in what looked to be screams, no words came, but Reg knew what they would have been. What they were on the last day he saw Sirius. 

Reg wanted to reach out to the younger version of his brother before him but he just froze. 

Closing his eyes tight in shame, Regulus shakes his head out and when he comes back up again to face Sirius it's someone else he sees. 

He’s tall, skin a deeper golden shade that complimented the messed wavy brown locks that when in light sparkled honey highlights. His glasses complimented it all with thin rims that sat on a rather beautifully curved nose and charming, -er wide, smile.

Regulus counters him, crossing his arms over his chest knowing he wasn’t armed, hoping his intimidating stare would be enough to ward him off. James didn't seem to be phased and Regulus felt heat prick up the back of his neck. 

Knots twisted in Regulus but he couldn't really tell whether it was in disgust or anticipation when James started towards him slowly. 

“Sirius?” James' voice echoed again and Regulus opened his mouth to deny it but nothing came. He furrowed his brow and touched his lip with a puzzled expression.

Regulus felt a touch skirt over his hand and his eyes flicked up to meet James, his cheeks burning as he choked on air, stepping back sharply. 

“Who are you?” He demanded warily, but James just gave him soft eyes and straight lips. 

James took another step to close the gap between them and when their hips pressed together the dream started to shift. Darting around the rooms his eyes caught glimpses of materializing furniture and the scenery started to become too familiar, blinking rapidly to try and stabilize his mind. James was gone and when Regulus turned he saw a grand staircase.

Sigh .

Reg straightened in preparation, the same knots of disgust and anticipation curling up inside of him but the heated tension that lingered wasn’t the same as from before. Wasn't one Regulus was curious for, it was one he was all too familiar with. 

It had been weird, his dream had changed, was it from meeting that man who called him Sirius? And…the way he behaved, it wasn't friendly but it was, Regulus felt drawn in. Even if they’d never see eachother again…he knew something, and that made him slightly less boring than the average enemy, right?

Regulus had started to, almost let himself, get caught up in curiosity over James but winced and sucked in a sharp inhale through his teeth when the same cruel touch squeezed his shoulder and snapped him back to his fate.

As if James was a brief break before he would endure great pain. No. Regulus just missed Sirius. That’s. All.

* * *

It had been a few days since his mission, since he’d seen that dangerously good looking man, since he’d been reeling over his brother. Wait. Good looking? Ugh!!! No. NO. Ehem no .

Regulus shook out his head and rubbed his fingers to his temples. ‘He’s desirable because he had information on your brother, his whereabouts’ Reg thought to himself reassuringly.

He wasn’t able to soothe his pounding headache long when he felt a cold presence wash against his back and he turned just his head to catch eyes with the Dark Lord.

“Regulus, why don’t we discuss our next objectives?” His voice drawled plainly, Regulus saw nothing particularly special about the “Most Fearsome Pirate Captain in the Seven Seas” as he got closer to him. Seemed mostly rumor, most of his success could be attributed to his crew of deadly highly talented pirate wizards. 

Regulus indulged him with a nod, following him to his own quarters where they usually addressed next moves. Watching him slide pieces along a poorly drawn map, explain current routes of targeted ships, and some goals he wanted to reach, Regulus nodded in understanding.

“So we’ll begin by making our way to Pirates Cove, Raiding as needed, and there you'll be able to acquire the information to start your search?” Regulus recapped, breaking the plan into its first stages. 

He thought it stupid, splitting up your soul simply to live forever, but Regulus had done many stupid things in the name of being first mate. Especially due to the fact that he didn't want the position but with the Dark Lord there wasn't much of an argument to be had.

Regulus wished he'd let Dorcus take over, she was much better in a leadership role but the Dark Lord snickered on about how ‘those who don't want the job are the best suited for it’ or some nonsense he painted in elongated syllables to feign intelligence and whimsy. 

Finally free from that Merlin damned meeting, he hopped up each step and stifled a squeak of surprise when Barty shoulder checked him. In Reg’s defense, he hadn’t meant to be avoiding Barty since their drunken rendezvous, he just couldn't really talk to anyone with all these theories floating in his mind.

He knew their friendship, situationship? Their, whatever it was, was suffering because he couldn't figure out what he wanted and what to do with it.

Regulus let out a scoff after he swallowed the squeak and sauntered forward, unaffected, determined to make it back to his room and continue to rewrite the same line he'd been scribbling on parchment for days now. His questions for Sirius.

‘Where did you go?’

‘How could you?’

‘Why did you leave me?’

He knew none of them were productive, they wouldn't give him the answer he wanted, they would only upset his brother most likely. They're instigative, but Regulus didn't care, he felt betrayed as much as he understood Sirius position, he felt abandoned.

Locking his door Regulus slid down to his cot and curled up, scattered shirts and quills and crumpled handkerchiefs to silence his nightly sobs. Regulus had developed quite the nest, crawling into the center he opened his journal. Or. He’d like to call it a journal but the binding of leather around the stringed parchment was loose enough that Reg had to treat it as if it was just papers stacked in a pile free on his bed. 

Flipping to a new page, the other swirled with his racing questions, he found this was the only way to drown out the voices shouting over top of one another. Write them, organize them, read them. Read them until it's something you know and don't need to shout over several others. It wasn't clinical, Reg was sure, and even if it were it wasn't like anything he could do could help. He’d heard about the cutting edge process where a craniometry medic hits rocks to certain parts of your head and leaves you different, but he didn't need that, he needed people close to him to make him feel safe, secure, seen, serene. 

Journaling helped, it stilled his thoughts until he felt his eyes droop and his quill slip from his grasp, darkness taking him to sleep.

* * *

The den of pirates wasn’t a place he frequented often, the trek to get there was already riddled with its own set of obstacles. Being in St. Augustine, many pirates and foreign noblemen already flooded the seas and made it harder to navigate undetected, since the Death Eaters were a notoriously infamous crew they were targeted. Not that they were in any danger, it was just annoying and time consuming for all the attacks to be consolidated. This is why it was great they had a secret weapon, or a Black, as they put it. 

Regulus held his concentration as Dorcus weaved the nose of the ship in direction with her slight adjustments, going completely undetected between the labyrinth of vessels surrounding them in the harbor. Almost as if a cloak of invisibility had adorned their ship, Reg kept the spell strong with a binding charm and was finally able to relax when Dorcus pulled into an enclave, and their flags were taken down. 

The smell of blood and citrus permeated the air in a tang almost as ruthless as the pirates roaming the main dock, some lifting boxes to ships, some looking to join crews, show their worth; although any crew worth a damn impressing would be in the bar towards inland. It was a pretty exclusive venue, and it was Regulus’ first time ever having been to the den, he knew he had to make a good impression on the bar keep. He heard good and bad things about them, but thought it best to keep on their good side while he considered going solo. The Death Eaters were the most fearsome pirates but, once you're the best it's all boring, and with a leader set on just gaining more power rather than having a plan with what to do with it all, Regulus found himself bored. This isn't what he wanted, it’s funny to realize that once he’d gotten it, to have left all he had ever known for it and to still be unhappy. Maybe he was destined to be unhappy. 

Maybe happiness, love, wasn't meant for him.

Sighing, he headed below deck as the crew rigged the ship, Dorcus barking orders and Barty dropping the anchor at her request. Regulus fixed his waist coat, adjusting his matching tie with green embroidered painsley that contrasted against the short black velvet. His black boots showed off under the cuffs of his black dress pants that hugged his hips. Regulus brushed a hand through his hair, muttering a spell beneath his breath and watching the stray frizzy hairs coil themselves back in with the larger sections they jutted from, the roots deepening slightly to promote its already apparent thickness. He would finish off with a stellar coat but the weather didn't call for it, summer was a blitz from the sun.

Reg turned in the mirror, rusted as it was he swore he could still tell all the finer details like a creased sleeve or developing blemish, checking out his back side and smoothing a hand over it before hearing a low hum of approval, whipping around and glaring at the source.

“Paint a portrait”

“It would certainly last longer” Barty responded flatly, humor was usually his go to but his voice was devoid of it now. 

“I don’t owe you…a..whatever it is you’re wanting”

“I’m not asking for much, just, to know what's going on in your head. I feel like I’m entitled to at least that…”

“You certainly are entitled” Regulus tuts and avoids Barty's annoyed glare, holding firm as he leaned against the door blocking Regulus in the room.

“I just…needed a distraction” Regulus finally looked up to meet his gaze, expecting him to be hurt or indifferent but he was smiling now. Why was this fucker smiling?

“You read for a distraction, what's really going on? Do you fancy someone?” Barty smirked more and pushed from the frame to start closing in on Reg. 

“What?!! No! I- ugh!! If you're going to be this much of a pain i'll tell you!” Regulus huffed, cheeks burning but Barty smirked triumphantly and plopped back on Reg’s cot, gesturing for him to ‘go on’.

“Remember…that raid we did on that spanish ship…about four months ago?” Regulus mumbled and shifted back and forth before brushing his hand through his perfectly quaffed hair, not caring if he ruined his efforts. He’d been able to avoid this conversation until now, he'd had work, or Barty had work, and maintaining a sailing ship took a lot of focus and time, but now that Regulus had nowhere to run. Now that they were at a time of leisure, and the fact Reg had been bottling this up for so long, he needed to tell Barty now. It wasn't a passing curiosity, he was invested.

They had talked about leaving the crew together before, but as Barty always brought up the great point of “Where would we go?” however…if Regulus were to find his brother maybe, he could find what his brother found. Someone who trusts him enough to be shot over it, safety and security from his history, whatever it was Sirius was enjoying in his life. Had to be better than this.

When Barty nodded, Reg continued, “Well…I said it went smoothly, without a hitch but that was..only partly true. There was another crew raiding it, there was someone who-”

Barty sighed and shook his head “Mate I already know this part!”.

Regulus glared down at him, then looked back to the door now ajar and then flicked his wrist to it so it closed and locked, spelling a silencing charm. 

“He’s been haunting my dreams, I know he can tell me where to find Sirius.”

Regulus’ eyes burned in determination, he was set to this, it was the only thing that sparked his interest. The only thing he thought was to make a change, to make a difference. New was too strong of a word, Sirius was familiar, that might be too strong too. Sirius was…family, and Regulus had found himself in want of family surrounded by so much loneliness. Barty simply shook his head more curtly this time round and pushed up to stand.

“I see, so you're still delusional then? I want to be supportive mate but you shouldn't get your hopes up, take what you can get you know? You're the only bloke who would have your position and still not be satisfied” He laughed at the end like what he said was a joke but Regulus knew he meant it. Knew that Barty was bitter about Regulus dissatisfaction, maybe it was jealousy for his status or longing for his reciprocation of affections. Regulus pushed away his theories and grumbled. “I'd rather try than stay here.”

Barty didn't know, he couldn't have known, but those were the words Sirius had used. The last thing Reg had heard from his brother before floo powder stole him away to where Reg would never see him again. That's how Reg knew it hurt, not only from Barty's fallen smile, but his own experience with the words. With that stab firmly in place between their friendship, Regulus swiveled on his heel and marched out of the room, leaving Barty reeling against his cot. 

Chapter Text

Across the four months, James convinced his closest friends to conceive a map that not only tracked ships, their routes, and destinations, but to also tag individuals. Certainly not one particular individual. Not one he couldn’t get his fogged mind off of. 

He’d like to say it haunted him, but truly? James was mesmerized. He was clearly a powerful man, and yet, there was a softness in his eyes, thundering clouds, a storm ready to break, but James saw them for what they were. What he’d like to think they were. Fluffy, soft, even if they held wrath they were clouds nonetheless. Even if to be near to them, to appreciate them, is to face a storm unlike any other. James wanted to brave the battering wind as it whips by his ears, soaked in the embrace and only experienced ecstasy in its chill.

The months he’d spent finishing the map were continued by his search for the mysterious wizard who disarmed him. Raiding any ship they crossed, James puzzled on where he could find the elusive man. He didn't dream him up…did he? No, his injuries proved his- the mystery a reality.

In this time, so consumed with his pursuit, James thought it was normal the drift that came between him and Sirius. Between the map and Moony, James just attributed their space to be them both busy, both with their minds elsewhere. But. That was wrong.

James was finally throwing the map to his desk with an exasperated huff, slumping in his captain's chair and thumbing at the bridge of his nose to work a knot out from it and through the arc of his brow. His frustration however was abrupted by Sirius entry, no knock, but he didn't have his casual walk. 

James looked up and stiffened as he watched Sirius tremble, lip jutting out and tears already wet on his cheeks. He surged forward, pushing his desk aside and enveloping Sirius with a low whisper. “Moony?”

When Sirius shook his head, James cast his gaze downward through brown lashes and raised an eyebrow. 

“You can tell me anything” voice barely above a whisper.

“I-I know..” Sirius sobbed and buried his face back into James' shoulder.

There was a beat before he tugged at James’ chest and they sat back against his chair and cuddled as Sirius mumbled lowly into the fabric of his shirt. 

“Rem…Remus made me.”

James’ eyes light up in fury, in rage for something he didn't know but was ready to go to the ends of the earth to find out, to prevent, to help-

“Remus made me tell you. I have a brother.” Sirius interrupts James’ thoughts and speaks fearfully like what he's said would make a big impact on James.

When James doesn't react, the water line of Sirius' eyes twinges and spills more tears.

“Well?!” Sirius huffs, James’ eyebrows knitting even more in confusion. 

“You met him. My brother…on the ship.” Sirius filled in the blank and the lightbulb in James head flickered on, his eyes lighting up.

“Oh….OH!” He gasped and his hold on Sirius tightened a bit as he worked through the realization. 

“And I…I left him…I left him a second time because i was too worried about- well…it wouldn't be the first time I chose you, Prongs”

“Chose me??”

“Remember when you asked me to join you…you- you knew my home life was, well the worst, so you whisked me off on an adventure to be something more than our parents wanted us to be or destined for us to be. But…”

“But??”

“But! Alright?!” Sirius’ voice shrill in a whine because he was already having such difficulty opening up like this, even to James. Even to Remus.

“But… I left behind my- well he…my brother.” Sirius seemed unsure at first but nodded and looked at James. 

“My brother Regulus.”

“Regulus…” James wanted to comfort Sirius who was clearly still wavering from telling James about his ‘big secret’, he wanted to protect him from the shame evident across his face, but. Oh, but. He also lavished in the name given to him. Regulus. R. E. G. U. L. U. S. Every syllable rolled perfectly over his tongue and his eyes fluttered at the thought of his tongue elsewhere but snapped back to reality with Sirius’ literal snap of fingers. 

“Oi! Prongs! You with me?” He sniffed dramatically and when James nodded and rubbed his back he cuddled back into his shoulder.

“He…He must know I'm still alive, he must know you know me…if you said my name. I don't know where he is, but I want to find him. I want him..to be my brother again. James…wherever he is we gotta get him back!!” Sirius urges and grips James' forearms a little too desperate.

James, already quite taken with the idea, nodded confidently.

“Of course Sirius. I know no better place to find him than-”

* * *

“The Den of Pirates!” James announced boisterously, his crew filing off the ship as he directed them. Their mission was to stalk around and try to find the man James so lovingly described as an approachable version of Sirius, despite the attempt on his life. Much to Sirius’ protest and Moony’s amusement. 

James spared no effort to look his best, he'd saved the last bits of his perisian pomade to make his curls fall angelically around his face. The coat hugging his shoulders and biceps was a deep crimson, golden accents flaring along its hems and sides with a frilly maroon shirt underneath all tucked into brown leather pants that were so tight they left little to the imagination. His boots, of course, a deeper umber that boosted two inches, bringing his proud height to a towering respect. 

James pushed his frames up by the corner, sliding up his nose a bit before smiling brightly to his crew. 

“Whoever finds the most VIP bar first, gets double chocolate rations for a week!” He winked and watched the Marauders scatter. Remus grabbed Sirius' wrist, Peter tutted off with Marlene, and Lily grabbed Evan and Pandora. James strolled along the streets, taking careful watch of shorter darker haired fellows but none had the striking cheekbones he was after.

The sun was starting to set when Pete and Marlene ran up, panting, Pete hunched over with hands braced on his knees but Marls spoke first.

“We found a bar! Exclusive enough to have the finest pirates, Lily is back there holding us a table!” She panted out with a proud smile.

“Yes! Alright! You two both get the prize then, round up the others and i'll head to..?”

“Off Grid’s”

“Peculiar name” James mused but made his way.

The bar bustled with folk, but there was an air of professionalism. A cutting edge to the tone of the place, that bar fights were not accustomed here. This was a place of business. 

James pouted at the missing Black storm clouds he so longed for, settling for Sirius’ chilling stare and warm grin as he knocked back a round with his crew. If he couldn't find him, he could at least enjoy himself, and if he happened to meet someone who knew him, what was the harm?

James snickered, cheeks flushed with alcohol as he stood and stretched. 

“Alright alright, next round on me” He made his way to the bar, eyes lazily glazing across the few who sat there. A tall woman with locs that swept to her ankles, a cranky looking son of a bitch with a streak of green in his hair that seemed put there by magic, Regulus Black, another woman wi– Regulus Black?!

James blinked frantically, eyes glued to the back of Regulus' head. He hadn’t seen it like this but he was sure it was him. He was so sure. Was he sure? He had to be sure. James abandoned his attempt to get the bartender's attention and slid to the space beside Regulus, leaning over the counter to seem like he was waiting. Oh so patient to have his order taken. 

James kept his head forward but in his peripheral vision he noticed Regulus turn and lip twitch a bit straighter in recognition.

James took the opportunity to casually turn his jaw and catch his eyes, locking their gaze and never letting go. 

“Well, look who it is?”

“The one in my way” Regulus bit back, but James could only bathe in the silkiness of his voice.

“I think you mean, the one that got away” James winked and turned so his elbows held him up against the counter and his eyes never left Regulus even as they drifted to his wet lower lip.

“No. I don't.” Regulus spoke coldly, but it sent heat flushing up James' back and neck, he wanted him to do it again, more, harder.

“Come on, Let me buy you a drink. Let bygones be bygones”

“I cursed you and now you want to buy me a drink?” Regulus cocked an incredulous brow. James simply nodded with that same wide grin he's had since Regulus acknowledged his existence.

The eagerness made Regulus groan and he rolled his eyes and slumped his chin against the back of his hand as he propped up his elbow against the counter beside James. 

“You wont leave me alone until I say yes, will you?” He huffed and James' smile whipped clean off as he shook his head frantically, almost as fast as the beat of his heart, because it almost sounded like Reg was bantering with the way his lips slightly turned up. 

“Well if you really want to be left alone I will but-”

“Well then I-”

James cut him off from cutting him off

“But only if you hear me out first and know what you're turning down…because it's.. Its Sirius.”

“It’s serious?”

“Sort of, but mostly Sirius.” James grinned at the slight affectation he gave to the name to delineate them. 

“Two of what he’s drinking” James called to the tender and when he slid them two scotches James gulped a little and raised it to his lips.

“Salute.” James takes a drink, Regulus watches before James sets down his glass Reg reaches for it, switching their glasses now so he drinks from James cup.

“Good to know you're not attempting poisoning”

James scoffed at the implication and sipped from Regulus’ glass, nose scrunching from the burn but as it traveled down his throat and warmed his chest he hummed with the inviting thrum it brought to him. 

“Can we talk alone?”

“Mm.. We can step outside”

James took what he could get and when he reached for Regulus' wrist he pulled back too quickly and they just strode outside, turning to the side of the building where a few lingering wizards were leaning against the walls smoking or sitting in the corner muttering to themselves. 

“Come with us.” James says quickly.

Regulus arches that incredulous brow again, and James has to blink to put himself back on track, to convince Reg. 

“I mean, Come with Sirius and I, the whole crew, you might only know Sirius but- he regrets losing you. I don't know how you feel about him, where the two of you stand but- well, its family. That's got to count for something, found or otherwise”

Regulus glares at James, expression unwavering and James wished he could read what was going on in his mind. Finally Regulus lets out a curt “No”.

James whined, a little tipsy and grabbed at Regulus' wrist. Reg let him. 

“Why not?”

Regulus laughed at the whine and his eyes flitted up and down James before he nipped.

“I'm quite happy where I am.”

“What if we could make you happier?” James countered and stepped closer.

Reg stepped back and furrowed his brow.

“I have friends, I don't need any more drama bussing up my life.”

“Bring them.”

“What?”

“Whatever you want, bring your friends, bring an expensive oversized claw grip tub just- come with us. Sirius needs you in his life again, I know I haven't known him with you and I feel like that's why a part of him was always a bit missing, his star a little duller because he needs you.”

“So what if he does?! Convenient of him to need me now when–!!” Regulus pants and stops himself when he realizes he was yelling and he pulls back his wrist from James. 

“Regulus..” James' voice softens and he closes the distance between them, hands bracing the wall behind Reg and trapping his hips between James' forearms.

The crisp brown bark of an evergreen clashing with the howling storm rumbling across mountain tops, their eyes unwavering from one another.

“Who are you?” Regulus whispered, scotch on his tongue.

“James Potter. Best friend of Sirius, Captain of the Marauders…and hopefully your new..confidant?” He tried with a smooth smile but pouted when Regulus shoved him off at the chest. 

As Regulus stomped back inside James called out to him just before he rounded the corner.

“This isn’t over!”

Chapter Text

Sirius had no problem with James being so distracted. He didn’t want to talk to him, not since his new obsession had become a scab of guilt. Something James kept picking away at and burned Sirius’ skin over. Sirius was thoroughly over hearing about how ‘ his curls shimmered in the light ’ ugh!

Sirius also had no problem with subduing his anxieties with Remus. Not that he thought Remus minded much but it was beginning to get to be a bit of a problem. Every time he’d start to get that dark cloud haze around his eyes, memories of home creeping in, he’d hold Remus’ thigh under the table, or hand at training, or cock in the tub. 

So it wasn’t so out of their routine for Sirius to shift his way into straddling Remus, which was made slightly harder by the confines of the tub, and lazily rub over his shoulders. Making sure the pads of his thumbs worked into the tense muscles nearing his neck, dipping down to trail his lips behind them in tender kisses. 

Sirius knew Remus was tired, with his moon not having been more than a week ago and just having dicked down Sirius within an inch of his life, Sirius knew he must be exhausted. But Sirius was insatiable. If not for his sex drive then to avoid this damned black cloud making it hard to see anything. 

Sirius whined when he felt Remus snake a hand into his hair and yank back on his messed about waves. Sirius huffed and pawed at his chest and rolled his hips in attempt to gain friction against Remus to no avail.

“What're you doing? Like a dog in heat or something..” Remus muttered and it shouldn’t have hurt. Sirius knew it was meant to be light hearted but he couldn't help letting the mix of humiliation and pain prickling his scalp to let the tears flow. 

He knew he'd catch Remus off guard, he couldn't help it .

“Oh baby” Remus sighed and pulled him close for a hug. Those tender, warm, strong hugs that only Remus’ comforting arms could provide. Sirius absolutely melted, letting the warmth of his chest and the bath water soothe the ache in his back and heart. 

They sat like that for a while, comfortable silence. Remus was good for that. Not making him talk at first but when he felt a familiar nudge from his thumb, tilting under his chin to make his eyes meet Remus’, he sighed.

“I..I didn’t want to have to think…and you're so good at…clearing my mind.” Sirius admitted softly, only needing Remus’ touch as prompting. The seductive smirk curling over his lips quickly taken off by the swipe of Remus’ thumb over his mouth. 

“Mph.” He pouted and tried slumping into his shoulder but Remus held his jaw firmly in place and bore down at him with an unwavering stare.

“And what were you trying to clear?” Remus asked softly, like if his voice raised any more it would break Sirius.

Like Sirius was that delicate, that precious, to him.

“My family..” Sirius half heartedly admits and his eyes dart away from Remus’ before being redirected and the heat from them melt Sirius all over again. “..my brother.”

After that it was hurried pats from towels to get dry, flinging on clothes and pacing. Lots of pacing. Sirius sat against the bed with his arms crossed and his brows unmoving from their permanent furrow on his face. 

“No, Moony. I can't tell him. I- I could barely tell you! And if I do tell him, he’ll James it all up!!”

“James it all up? What the hell does that even entail Sirius?”

“He’ll drag us to the ends of the earth to find him!! You remember when he had a crush on Lily, practically did anything for her, now he's got the same edge, the same crazed look in his eye. If I tell him the guy he's been obsessing over is also my brother…is also…would be….anyway– he'd lose his mind, he'd go mental.” Sirius spoke wildly with his hands and then huffed when Remus sat on the bed and braced his shoulders. 

“You…don't want to see your brother?”

“I…” Sirius' mouth gaped and he flushed in embarrassment, shame was all that filled him at Regulus' mention and he looked away from Remus again, he couldn't help those amber eyes emptying out all of what he had to bare. “I think it's rather the other way around….I dont think he'd want to see me, how could i ever apologize…I really can't let James sink his hooks into this because if I try and he's gone…if it’s too late…then there isn't the chance anymore..”

“What if this is the only chance you get?” Remus replied softly and Sirius shattered, collapsing into his chest and sobbing shakily.

* * * 

Sirius groaned at James' boisterous announcement, slinging on a nice jacket and fluffing out his curls over his shoulders.

“Den of Pirates….like he'd ever hang round here, lame excuse for a pirate’s hideaway.” Sirius grumbled to himself before Remus pulled him away and giggled when instead of searching for a bar they slunked to an alley. 

“Oh Moony~ what’re you up to mm?” Sirius giggled and bit the tip of his tongue between his teeth, scrunching his nose up at his lover.

“Was just thinkin’ I’d take your mind off things~” Remus’ voice was low against the shell of Sirius’ ear, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end a bit. His breath hitched and Sirius laced his fingers behind his neck and smiled more. 

“Mm…better make it count, if James finds him I’m gonna be pretty occupied.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it.”

“Well what do you have to say ab- ah!” Sirius hissed from the sharpness of Remus' bite, gripping at the curled tufts around his neck. “Moons!” Sirius laughed and pulled back enough to catch his gaze. 

“I say…i'll have my way with you.” his growl rumbled deep in Sirius' chest and when he licked over his bottom lip, Sirius shuddered forward, melding their lips together and humming in harmony with him.

Remus met him, hands running fervently over his thighs and up to cup his lower back, Sirius moaning  encouragingly before kissing over his jaw and shoulder. 

“Rougher Remus…” Sirius whispered needily, grazing teeth over his shoulders and pressing his hips into his hands, crying in relief when he felt crescents cut into his skin. Sucking in a breath through teeth and clenched jaw, Sirius arched enough to nip at Remus’ lip. 

“Works every time~” He hummed, knowing his name on his lips was always a winner. Sirius laughed boisterously when Remus’ hand came down playfully and Sirius huffed. “Harder.”

The bob of Remus’ Adams apple made Sirius’ stomach summersault before surging forward and kissing him over and over again, humming happily with fluttered eyelashes.

Just as Remus pulled his hand back to bring down a harder slap, 

“Ehem.” 

but his spank made Sirius cry and their lips stayed firmly locked.

“You guys..pleeaaase this is embarrassing.” Another voice whined and Sirius threw up a middle finger to Pete just to show his lack of giving a shit. Remus seemed to share the sentiment as he flicked off Marlene when she whistled.

Sirius nipped and tugged on Remus’ bottom lip, looking up into his gaze while batting his pretty black lashes. “Mm..should go Moons.”

“Is that ok?” Remus whispered just for the two of them, and Sirius nodded. He didn't think his brother was here but if he was, he’d need a lot of booze. Luckily,

“Come on then, we found a bar. A good one.” Marls encouraged and Sirius grinned, pushing from the wall and slinging his arm around her. 

“Why didn’t you say that before?” Sirius hummed and chatted off with Marlene as Remus and Peter fell in step behind them.  

It was about two beers in when Sirius moved to Remus’ lap and James went to the bar. Four by the time his captain had come back, and it took two more for Sirius to build up the courage to even look in the direction James was so frantic about. 

When he looked, storm clouds met him. How long had Reg been staring? Gods…he looked so grown up but completely unchanged all at once. Sirius stiffened uncomfortably and shifted on Remus before standing, grunting “Gonna take a piss.” Making his way outside on shaky legs. 

Sirius didn’t really think about how he knew Regulus would follow him, if not to tell him off then certainly to hex him. The crunch under heels still sounded behind him when he stopped, all but confirmed his assumption and so he turned to look over his shoulder.

Silence chilled the space between them and Sirius fully turned and took in Regulus features in the moonlight. He was still delicate and put together, the regal posture from their home well set in his spine, but, the droops under his eyes, the hollow of his cheek bones, cracked lips, it all pointed to him being even worse off.

Sirius opened his mouth and then shut it again, feeling the words caught in his throat and he didn't really think of anything good to say. He knew he shouldn't be clever, he should be sincere, but then when were the Blacks ever that way? As much as Sirius didn't want his family's ties, there was something about being so close to Reg that bubbled up those traditions to the surface. 

“You're here.” Sirius punched out and gulped afterwards, smearing on an overly confident smirk. “Wasn’t just to see me was it?”

Regulus rolled his eyes so far he’d probably lose them save they weren't attached to his skull, he tutted and crossed his arms over his chest. “You're still an idiot?”

Sirius dropped his arrogance and furrowed his brow, taking a step towards Reg and taking note how he didnt step away. “Reg…”

Regulus shifted uncomfortably and looked behind them to the bar and grabbed Sirius' wrist. “Not here.”

Sirius nodded and let Regulus lead him down a street, panting as they cut corners and after a few spins he’d lost track of which turns they'd taken before coming up to a field beyond the cobblestone. Barren of people it was perfect for some private brother bonding so they trudged up the earth's curve and Regulus sat at its peak. Sirius sat next to him, their shoulders leaning against one another and Regulus let go of his wrist, pulling his knees to his chest and looking up at the stars.

There was a dew amongst the grace and a brilliance glowing from the sky, the constrast brought an eery calm. The space smelled of the wet earth as well, settling and comforting between the brothers as a singular small gentle breeze flowed against their curls.

Sirius laid out on the grass, inky streaks of hair tossling with the greenery.

“I missed you.” Sirius whispered into the now still night’s air between them. He watched the sky, finding it easier to talk when his eyes were on the expanse of twilight rather than the bright star so near to him. 

“Mm..” Regulus acknowledged and rested his chin over his folded arms. “Mother burned your face from the family portrait..”

“Figures, old bag was always jealous.” Sirius huffed and crossed his ankles, folding his hands behind his head. “You think she burned you off too?”

Regulus stiffened again and all Sirius could see was the slight flick of his hair moving as he ever so slightly nodded his head. 

“Hm..well if I gave a shit enough to have a family portrait i'd burn her ugly face off it too.”

Regulus turned to watch Sirius at this, and he smiled tenderly to his younger brother.

“I wouldn't burn you.”

“You already did.”

“Reg.”

Regulus looked to the sky again, dejected and aimless and Sirius held out his hand to hold him but caught himself hovering, hesitating and cursing himself for it, looking back to the sky again too.

“Maybe we’ll have to go slow…and maybe I don't really know how to do that…but I want to. I want to see you and be close with you and I…”

Regulus cut him off with a loud sigh, pushing to stand and brush the grass off of himself. “We don’t have to do this Sirius, I’ve handled myself fine all these years. I don't need you.”

His words were ice, cutting into the softness of Sirius insecurities and he shamefully closed his eyes. Defensive as he was, Sirius would be damned if he’d have his brother tell him off then storm away, so Sirius surged up to his feet standing beside Reg. 

“I know we don’t have to! I'm going to though.” He broke from the sky and looked down at Reg. “I’m going to work at it, for however long it takes.”

Regulus didn't look at him but he did smile a little and that was enough.

“I'm sure you're stubborn enough to mean that”

“Come…with me.” Sirius whispered and Regulus’ eyes widened, head snapping to Sirius. His shock danced around his face in confusion and wild scrutiny scrunched the bridge of his nose to detect any insincerity. “Where you are now…I can tell it isn't good for you Reg, this ship, my home, it's been everything I’ve needed-”

“What makes you think I need what you do?”

“I don't! But- I…I need you Regulus. I can't have this be the last time I see you, the last time I talk to you..”

“Well why now? Certainly didn't seem too torn up about it being the last time before.”

“I was drowning in that house!” Sirius’ voice broke as he screamed into the dewey air, “And…I know you were too, and I’m sorry I didn't take you with me…I..I am so- I’m so..Reg.” Sirius held his brother's shoulders, couldn’t seem to get the words out and Regulus tried to keep his lip from quivering. 

“You're drowning now, please please come with me.” Sirius’ brows furrowed apologetically as he whispered but he wouldn’t say it, couldn’t. The only way he was able to survive leaving him was to be unapologetic about, the guilt alone would’ve swallowed him whole, so to do it now. Regulus gulped down the emotions building in his chest and throat and angled his eyes coldly at Sirius. 

“Drop dead.” Regulus spat curtly and turned away, ripping from Sirius’ grasp and storming down the hill leaving Sirius stranded.