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Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

“She’s a mystery, but allow me to uncomplicate her for you. She isn’t impressed by material things. She’s a romantic; all she wants is love, conversation, and wine.”

The Man Who Sold the World by Nirvana

Campbell, Fergus, and Y/N were on a stage, playing music while Rosalie walked through the crowd with her gloves on, handing around a petition, as Dancing in the Street played.

“This is street radio, keeping you, you dancing in the street! And if you like what you’ve heard so far, then come and sign the petition which says: ‘We, the undersigned, would like Campbell Bain and Ready Eddie McKenna to be given their own show on local radio’, and make us the first DJs in radio history to go professional by popular demand!”

The crowd applauded and Campbell played Do Ya Think I’m Sexy. “Here’s an anonymous dedication to Debbie, who works in the travel center just across from us, from,” He started talking in the husky “dead smoochy” voice again, “a secret admirer who could show you what love is, yeah!” Then there was a slight pause before Campbell pointed, “Well, all right, Debbie, it’s that wee baldy guy in the blue anorak.”

The audience laughed at his humor as he took Y/N’s hands and eased her into a dance, making his hair flop about before a police officer came up, turning off the boombox, making the audience boo.

“Right, party’s over. You’re busking without a permit and ye’s have got one minute to clear off.”

Campbell, even though he had a microphone and was face-to-face with the officer, he still shouted into the microphone, “A PERMIT?! ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT,” He had gestured to the cop and then himself before turning to the audience, “WE NEED A PERMIT TO DANCE?!”

“NO!” The crowd shouted.

“DO WE NEED A PERMIT TO BOOGIE?!” Campbell shouted as the cop walked off, annoyed and Y/N and Fergus exchanged looks.

“NO!”

“WE ARE HERE TO BOOGIE AND WE SHALL NOT BE MOVED!” Campbell enthusiastically pumped his fist over his head, triumphantly.

The crowd cheered and applauded as Y/N thought she spotted someone taking pictures… but they seemed to be focused only on her, if she moved away from Campbell and Fergus, the camera followed only her. It wasn’t the kind that the press used being something like a Nikon model camera but more of a Canon model. She got distracted when Fergus hissed at Campbell, “What are you doing?” Fergus asked.

“I told you it would work! We’ve got a genuine incident going here!” Campbell said, excitedly, making Y/N look at him and then said in an excited singsong voice, “We are gonna be in the papers!”

Y/N joined them, poking her head around Fergus, “We’re gonna be in jail, Campbell.”

There were police sirens wailing as more police officer came running up.

“…Yeah, we’ll just merge quietly into the crowd and then leg it.” Campbell said and they grabbed their stuff and ran off, pushing through the crowd and Rosalie followed them, and it quickly became obvious where they were to the police.

Y/N ran past the guy still taking pictures and she got a sense of familiarity, so she stopped and looked at him but he ran off to a distance before taking more pictures of her before Campbell came back, grabbing her hand and pulling her.

“COME ON!”

Fergus, Campbell, and Y/N  climbed over a sort barricade of junk. Y/N walked backwards to see the guy still taking pictures before she accidently stepped off the side of the junk and hit the ground with a yelp. Campbell went to her as Fergus held out a hand for Rosalie but she declined, despite wearing gloves and climbed over herself as Campbell helped Y/N up, a great constrast from when they first met just months ago.

“You alright?”

“Peachy pie.” She said, somewhat sarcastically.

He grinned and then he kissed her cheek and took her hand and ran off.

–

Eddie was in the station, filling in for Y/N who was supposed to be filling in for Campbell if he weren’t there. But neither were there.

“That was Runaway and this is Ready Eddie, standing in for Y/N L/N who should be standing in for Campbell Bain, who have both… run away! So… if you’re out there and Campbell Bain is sitting next to you, smoking a fag and having a wee blether with your invisible voices or if you see Y/N L/N keying Campbell Bain’s dad’s car or furthering guilting him, tell them to—!” He played Baby Come Back as the four patients entered the station.

“Is it seven already?” Campbell asked.

“It’s quarter past. Where the hell have you been?” Eddie demanded.

“Y/N, Rosalie and I got an afternoon pass. We staged a publicity stunt! A road show right in the middle of Argyle Street! And the police even came to break it up! Are you gonna tell me that’s not frontpage news?!” He said, excitedly.

“What papers did you invite?” Eddie said, irritated.

It was immediately clear that Campbell was not aware of this fact, “‘Invite’? You mean you have to invite them?” He looked around at the group as Y/N closed the blinds over the window, anxiously, “Does that not… slightly… cheapen it?”

“Campbell, this station is falling apart. If something doesnae happen soon, we’ll no have a station to publicize. In the past fifteen minutes, yet another channel on the mixer has blown; if I don’t get any good news from Evelyn tomorrow about a new mixer, we may have to stop broadcasting altogether!” He started to shout in Campbell’s face, “You want to go professional? RULE ONE: TURN UP FOR YOUR SHOW!”

Campbell hung his head, ashamed and muttered, “…Sorry, Eddie.”

Eddie, then turned to Fergus and shouted, “How’d you no realize that channel was gonnae blow? How was it no checked?”

“…Sorry, Eddie.” Fergus shrugged.

Eddie then turned to Rosalie, “And what about you? You’re the station manager; ’s your job to make sure the show goes out!”

“…Sorry, Eddie.” She said, softly and splashed some Dettol into her hands and rubbed them together.

Then he turned to Y/N, “Aren’t you supposed to keep them in line, Y/N!?” Eddie shouted at Y/N who didn’t look sorry but more angry and tiresome, used to being screamed at. But she wasn’t going to take it anymore.

“And where were you during Campbell’s first show. You were twenty minutes late, McKenna. Point is everyone makes mistakes and by the way WHY THE HELL AM I IN CHARGE OF KEEPING THEM IN LINE, I’M ONLY EIGHTEEN! I’M THE YOUNGEST ONE HERE!” She then spoke loudly but not in a yell again, if she yelled her voice became all hoarse from lack of use. “so how about you stop yelling at us because we’ve got work to do, so let’s just try and see a little bit of discipline and professionalism around here, huh? That alright with you, salesman of double windows.” She sassed much like a sassy temp would.

“Anyway. Record’s almost finished. I’ve got to go to work.” Eddie said, putting his coat on.

“No problem.” Campbell said and he sat in the DJ chair while Y/N sat in the co-DJ chair, “Right.”

“Quiet! We’re going on air now!” Rosalie said, loudly, making Eddie put a finger to his ear.

Y/N played the Hospital Radio Saint Jude’s jingle as Eddie left and Campbell spoke into the microphone, “And that was Baby Come Back, coming at you from 1968.”

Apparently Rosalie felt the near empty hallway wasn’t quiet enough because she opened the door and shouted down the corridor, “I said, QUIET!” Her voice echoed on the radio, making Y/N flinch.

“Rosalie!” Campbell hissed.

Rosalie then spotted her husband, glaring at her, “Oh. It’s you.”

It was quiet for a moment before Y/n leaned over Campbell, bringing the microphone to her mouth. “Um… this next song will be to all those unaccepting fathers who won’t accept that their son is amazing just the way they are but refuse to accept them and criticize him to the point that he had a legitimate manic episode.” Not true but he didn’t know that. Nor did he deserve to know that.

“Y/N.” Campbell blushed.

“And also, for all those who got away. Oh Father.” She started playing Madonna’s Oh Father.\

Sia Cover of Madonna's "Oh Father"

Campbell pushed the fader slider and he pulled out a plastic bag, “I, uh, kind of guilt tripped my mother into stealing some money from my dad.” He smiled nervously, “And I bought you these.” He pulled a pair of light purple on light blue headphones.

“Campbell…” She smiled, touched. “You didn’t have to.”

“Well, I did break yours. Here,” He opened the box and unraveled the wire, spazzily and then he put them over her neck, leaning forwards her as he moved her hair and tucked them behind her ears. His eyes glanced down at her lips and he slowly leaned closer and then suddenly panic erupted inside her chest as traumatic memories flashed behind her eyes and she kicked the swivel chair back and ran out of the station, leaving Campbell very confused and now feeling dejected, his posture sank and he pouted, now resembling a kicked puppy dog (possibly kicked by his father or Stuart)

–

Evelyn was still perpetually closed minded about not only the patients working at the station but group therapy. Where was Doctor Winter!?

Campbell was pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair as he eyed Y/N warily given that he had tried to kiss her and she ran in the opposite direction at full-speed but she was avoiding his gaze as Rosalie cleaned the station with her last bottle of Dettol when Eddie entered.

“How bad is it?” Campbell asked, eagerly.

Clearly Eddie was also annoyed with Evelyn’s behavior because he bitterly said, “We’re getting nothing; they’re afraid we may be a luxury they cannae afford; but they do wantae know if we want to do something for the Open Day next week.” He turned to Fergus, “What do you think?”

“They can’t do this!” Campbell whined as Y/N went to him, calming him down by running her hands through his floppy locks, he leaned into their touch.

“How long can we keep going?” Eddie asked Fergus.

“A few months, or…” Fergus started.

“Few days.” Eddie finished.

“They are nipping my brilliant career in the bud!” Campbell shouted.

“They want rid of you, you know.” Francine said.

“Oh, aye?” Eddie asked and Francine nodded.

“That’s how they do things in here. They never say ‘ye cannae do that’ or ‘ye cannae have that’, but ye cannae. You wantae put a poster up by your bed, they’ll tell you there’s nae Blu-tack. If you find some Blu-tack, they tell you it’ll damage the paint. If you get some paint, they’ll tell you the color doesnae match. They never actually stop you, but somehow you just stop.”

Y/N chuckled bitterly, “Story of my life.”

“Well, not this time.” Campbell said, determinedly, “Eddie, you tell them that yes, we do want to do something for the Open Day. We are gonna run a fundraiser to buy a new mixing desk.”

“How?”

“I see a Hospital Radio Road Show on a flatbed lorry. I see music and dancing. I see reporters!” He said, enthusiastically.

“I see no money, Campbell.” Eddie rubbed his temple.

“Well, we’ll charge to play requests and dedications! And then, we will pull off one absolutely brilliant publicity stunt that will blaze its colors across every newspaper in Scotland!” He declared as Y/N got an idea.

“Such as?” Eddie asked, flatly.

“…I don’t know!” Campbell sputtered but remained undeterred, “I-I could get up on the roof of the hospital and threaten to jump unless the punters give us enough to buy a new mixer.

“Aye, but they might want you to jump.” Y/N said in a slightly sarcastic deadpan voice.

“Well then I’ll threaten no to jump unless the punters give us enough to buy a new mixer.” Campbell half-joked, getting close to her, at least she was making eye contact with him again.

“Campbell, they are not going to let you threaten to jump off the hospital rooff for their Mental Health Week Open Day!” Eddie scolded.

“It was only my first idea!” Campbell defended, “Come on, Y/N, Fergus, Rosalie—we’ve gotta mobilize the troops! Hospital radio must survive!”

He took Y/N’s hand and walked off with Fergus following while the skeptical Eddie sat down and Rosalie was writing in her notebook.

Campbell came back and spoke to Rosalie, “Rosalie, what are you doing?”

“Uh, just—writing a list.” She said.

“Come on!”

“I gotta make a phone call!” Y/N said and ran down the hall as Campbell whined after her.

“Y/N!”

–

Campbell gathered the gang and the inmates for an announcement which as per usual annoyed Alistair.

“Fellow inmates! I suppose you’re all wondering why I’ve asked you here today.”

“Just get on with your bid.” Alistair complained.

“Yes, how dare we interrupt your TV time.”  Y/N deadpanned.

“I liked it better when you didn’t speak at all.” Alistair muttered, grumpily.

“We all remember what life here was like before hospital radio.”  Campbell said.

“Aye, a lot quieter.” Hector piped up.

“Becasue Y/n never spoke.” Alilaster grumbled but he was ignored completely.

“You’re right, Hector! Hospital radio has brought us music, laughter, got us dancing in the corridors! Before that, the most excitement we got here was listening to you fart God Save the Queen or waiting for Myra the Catatonic to blink or trying to get Y/N to talk!” He smiled at her with a light in his eyes, “Now, is that what you want to go back to?” Campbell then turned to look at Sheila who was shaking her head, “Is it?”

“No!” She said.

Campbell paced with his hands behind his back as if a solider, addressing his troop, making Y/N Well. Unless we can raise the dosh to buy a new mixer, that’s all there’s going to be round here.

“What’s a ‘mixer’?” Billy asked.

“Shh!” Margaret shushed him as Fergus and Eddie exchanged amused looks.

“But with your help, we are going to be holding a fundraiser at the Open Day. We are going to be staging a Hospital Radio Road Show, through a 5 kilowatt P.A. on a flatbed lorry in the courtyard, and we’re going to need volunteers. To help set up and run the show; to help rattle tins—” Campbell explained, passionately and Y/N noticed Rosalie writing down in her little notebook, “but most of all, to help with the main fundraising event of the day, the Loony Pools!”

Y/N muffled her laughter into her palm as Eddie repeated this questioningly in a low voice to an amused Fergus. “Loony Pools?”

Campbell took a stack of homemade coupons from Y/N, giving her a grateful smile, “We’re gonna be handing out coupons, like this one, with details of the contestants—half loonies, half boring folk—who’ll be assigned numbers, one to twenty-four, by lottery. Two loonies in a pair is a score draw of three points. But if only the odd-numbered contestant’s a loony, then it’s a home win, one point. If only the even-numbered contestant is a loony, then it’s an away win, one and a half points. If neither of them are loonies, it’s a no-score draw of two points. A pound a line, best of eight, high score wins, five dividends of cheap prizes.”

The patients muttered in confusion and Hector asked, “What?”

“Yeah, I’m lost too, Cam.” Y/N muttered.

“…Basically, it’s Spot the Loony.” Campbell summed up.

“Oh, cheeky!” A patient said.

“That’s you.” Y/N said in a low tone, nudging Campbell, “Cheeky little rascal.”

Campbell let a blushing smile as his cheeks reddened before turning back to the patients with a goofy lovestruck smile on his face, bouncing on his heels, excitedly. “Now! Volunteers?”

“Aye. I’ll volunteer.” Margaret raised her hand.

“Me as well!” Billy volunteered.

“Me too!” Y/N chimed in.

“That’s the spirit! Because we are going to show them—” Campbell beamed and then he started chanting while holding his fist up as if rebelling against institutional oppression… they kind of were… in terms of rebelling against oppression towards mental health, rather than racism… though oppression against racism could cause mental health problems. Because rude, normal people suck. “We are loonies and we are proud! Say it! We are loonies, and we are proud!”

“We are loonies, and we are proud! We are loonies, and we are proud!” The patients and Y/N chanted with him.

“Now! Any questions?” Campbell asked.

“Aye. Can I go to the toilet?” Billy asked.

Away you go.” Campbell dismissed him, “Any other questions?”

“Where is this flatbed lorry coming from?” Alistair asked.

“That’s a detail we haven’t worked out yet, but we’re working on it.” Campbell admitted.

“So, who’s bringing this massive P.A. then?” Margaret said.

“Well, that’s another detail that we’ve not sorted out yet.” He replied.

“What exactly have you sorted out so far?” Alistair asked, annoyed.

“Well, Sandy in the kitchen’s been saving us some tins to rattle.” Campbell muttered.

The patients then muttered unhappily as they left.

“Aw, come on! Have some faith!” Campbell whined.

Campbell leaned back on a table in dejection. Y/N went to his side, leaning against him, comfortingly as she placed a hand on his sternum, gently.

“We can still rattle the tins.” She said, encouragingly, he didn’t say anything, he just rested his floppy-haired head on her shoulder and she ruffled his hair but when she stopped he let out a whined and buried his head into the crook of her neck as she scratched his head, comfortingly as Rosalie was still over by the window making a list.

–

Campbell couldn’t sleep, he was too sad and lonely despite having several roommates. He kicked his covers off like a toddler when staggered down the hallway to Y/N’s personal dormitory as per requested by her refusing basic needs like sleep, food, and water, and he opened the door to find Y/N reading How To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. She looked up to see Campbell smiling warmly, reassuring her when he saw the fear and nervousness in her eyes which eased softly.

“I just… couldn’t sleep. I’m depressed.” He frowned.

She gave him a gentle smile and ushered him over, he got under the covers next to her but kept his distance, noting that they had never done this before and Y/N was jumpy with men.

Silence as she continued to read, “What… are you reading?” He asked, awkwardly.

“How To Kill a Mockingbird.”

“Never read it.”

“Too dark for your internal sunshine.” She said, ruffling his hair. “I usually perfer audiobooks but… I’ve learned to be cautious about hearing headphones when everyone else is asleep.”

“Favorite character?”

“Boo Radley. He’s likely autistic. Misunderstood yet with a gold heart like us.” She said and rested her head against his shoulder and Campbell hesitantly wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she started to read to him be before she dozed off in his arms. He smiled down at her and he turned off her light and kissed the top of her head.

Around midnight, Rosalie entered the boy’s dormitory before finding that Campbell wasn’t there, so she went to Y/N’s personal dormitory as per requested and opened the door to find the two “strictly” friends sleeping next to each other. Or rather, full-on cuddling with Y/N’s head on his shoulder and him with his arms wrapped around her.

“Campbell! Y/N? Are you awake?” She asked in a whisper, neither answered so she turned on Y/N bedside lamp.

Campbell finally woke and reacted to the light, “Jesus! What did you do that for?”

Y/N groaned and pulled the covers over her head, hugging herself into Campbell’s chest, making him let out a gasp and squirming slightly before turning back to Rosalie.

“I wanted to know if you two were awake.” Rosalie said and Y/N groaned from under the covers, saying that she was going back to sleep and no one was going to stop her from doing so.

“Aye, well, I am now.” He sighed, annoyed, he huffed and shifted like, why am I awake, “What do you want?”

“I’ve been making some lists, Campbell.” She said.

“You’re always making lists.” Campbell pointed out like, why do I have to be awake now as Rosalie sat in a chair next to the bed.

“But these ones are for you.” She said and handed the lists over to the sleep-deprived boy from her purse.

“Road haulage companies in the greater Glasgow area.” He read and then dryly remarked, unaware that Y/N had gone stock still, “All right, well, thanks, Rosalie, I’m sure I’ll find this very useful.”

Y/N suddenly moved urgently, making Campbell jump, scared he had done something wrong. She threw the covers off her, giving Campbell the chance to look down at her nightgown that said, “not crazy, just misunderstood”, his lips twitched into a small smirk of amusement before she spoke.

“Road haulage companies are bound to have flatbed lorries in their fleet! I bet someone’ll loan us one, it is for charity.” Y/N said.

Rosalie handed him another paper as he realized what this all meant, “And that’s a list of P.A. hire and sales companies; could have some luck there. And this is a list of local merchants who might donate prizes for your Loony Pools. You can recruit most of your non-loonies from the staff, although you’ll have to be dead careful, because some of the staff aren’t exactly certified…” She had a twirly loony gestured at her head, “non-loonies.

“So not Stuart… or Eddie.” Y/N said. “I could call some of my cousins that live in Edinburgh. They’re all normal, studying abroad.”

“Aye. This is a list of staff bulletin boards in the hospital—" Rosalie continued.

It can be done! You’ve cracked it, Rosalie!” Campbell said, enthusiastically and he went to shake her hand when she flinched and he remembered, “Oh, sorry.”

“Listen, you couldn’t… do something for me, could you?” Rosalie requested.

“Aye, anything!” Campbell said as Y/N placed her chin on his shoulder to look over it as Rosalie handed him a parcel of ugly clothes.

“Listen, you couldn’t just put this in your locker and then forget about it?”

“What’s in it?”

“Some new clothes Jim brought me.” Rosalie replied.

“Why do you want to put that in my locker?” Campbell said.

“Ugh, this is the most hideous dress I have ever seen.” Y/N said, crinkling her nose at it.

“So I could pretend I lost them. Then I wouldn’t have to wear them.”

“You don’t want to wear them, don’t wear them!”

“Well, Jim says I can’t go home unless I wear them.” Rosalie explained and Y/N just flopped onto her back.

“Men.” She scoffed and Campbell gave her an offended look.

“And they want to give me drugs so I can’t keep me head straight and defend myself from the germs. I’m down to me last bottle of Dettol but Jim won’t let me buy any more, and the doctor says—"

“Now don’t let them push you around, Rosalie. Stand up to them.” Campbell encouraged her and Y/N muttered something, sardonically.

“How?”

“You just say…” Campbell then spoke in a bad American accent that vaguely resembled a Brooklyn accent, “‘I’m not gonna take any more o’ dis crapola’.”

Y/N turned her head to look at him oddly as Rosalie shook her head, “I couldn’t do that.”

“How no?”

“I’m not American.” Rosalie pointed out.

“Aye, but it sounds that brilliant when they say it in the films.” He said and Y/N laughed, “‘I’m not gonna take any more o’ dis crapola’.“

"I’m not going to take any more of this… crapola.” Rosalie repeated in her normal voice.

“Uh… you’re gonna have to work on the accent.” Campbell said.

“"I’m not gonna take any more of… dis… crapola.“ She repeated, slowly and awkwardly in an even worst accent. Then she giggled and covered her mouth with her hands as if she had done something scandalous.

Campbell laughed as Y/N rose herself back to having her chin back on Campbell’s shoulder, “That’s the spirit!”

“What am I going to do with these clothes?” Rosalie asked.

“Chuck ‘em. Burn 'em.” Campbell dismissed.

“Oh, I couldn’t do that, Robbie.” Rosalie said and Y/N frowned. Who was Robbie.

“Well, give them to Mad John the Pyromaniac, he’ll take care of them.” Campbell said before realizing something, “Did you just call me Robbie?”

Rosalie hurriedly rubbed her hands with Dettoll, “Maybe I’ll just put them under my mattress.” She gathered her stuff and then left.

"Right, well, that was a thing.” Campbell deadpanned.

“That was odd.” Y/N said.

“Okay, sleepy time.” Campbell said and turned off the light and pulled Y/N into him playfully, making her giggle slightly which warmed his heart.

They couldn’t go back to sleep for a while as Campbell traced circles in her shoulder before he asked, “What do you think you’ll do after you leave?”

“I don’t know. Write? I like to write. Maybe I could be your DJ manager.”

“Yeah, I’ll add it to my list of things to do next to lose my virginity.” He said before hesitantly asking, “are you still a virgin? Not that I want to take it but… I’m not saying that I wouldn’t, I mean I would, no! What I mean…”

“No.” She cut him off.

“What?”

“No, I’m not a virgin.” She said and snuggled into the pillow, ending the conversation.

–

A few days later, Campbell and Y/N were on the air, “Just to remind you that tomorrow, Saint Jude’s Hospital Radio Roadshow is going to roll into Open Day, and we need your help to raise money for a new mixer. Without it, hospital radio will soon sound like this.” Silence. Rosalie and Francine looked at him and Y/N in confusion and he smiled meaningfully at them as Y/N giggled into his shoulder, “So! Come along and show your friends, your relations, and the local community that we are loonies, and we are proud!”

Campbell put on Don’t Let Me Down as Eddie entered.

“Jesus, what’s all this?” Eddie asked.

“You’re late.” Rosalie scolded him.

“Sorry, I was working.” Eddie said as Campbell and Y/N pulled their headphones off to watch in amusement.

“Ah, well, here’s your list. And you better get started or you’ll never get through it.

“Go to car. Put key in ignition. Drive to Hot Jam P.A. hire.” Eddie read the thorough instructions.

“There’s your address.” Rosalie said, handing him a card.

“Collect speakers. Put in car. Drive back. Take key from ignition.” Eddie continued to read.

“Rosalie’s nothing if not thorough.” Campbell laughed and Y/N joined in.

“Francine, isn’t that banner ready yet?” Rosalie demanded.

“Just finished! And then I have to help Fergus cord the leads.” Francine told her.

“Just give me a minute.” Fergus said which set off Rosalie again.

“A minute? You’re only halfway down your list and it’s nearly eight o'clock.” She snapped at Fergus and then turned to Eddie, “And you. Well, don’t stand there like a dead sheep, go to your car.” Then she rounded on Campbell and Y/N, “And what are you two doing?!”

“I’m in the middle of my show!” Campbell whined and then took Y/N’s hand like he couldn’t do it without having a “manic episode” without her and then gave Rosalie a pouty look.

Chapter Text

“Sometimes I wonder if love is worth fighting for, but then I remember your face and I’m ready for war.”

Link to "Every Breath You Take" By the Police

Link to Chase Holfelder's Cover Of "Every Breath You Take" By the Police

Link to Boyce Avenue's Cover Of "Every Breath You Take" By the Police

Link to IMY2's Cover of "Every Breath You Take" By the Police

Link to "Lucifer" Cover of "Every Breath You Take" By the Police

“Have you seen Fergus?” Campbell asked Isabel.

“He’s just gone off wearing a helmet.” Isabel said.

Campbell became excited as a grin grew on his face.

“Helmet? Yes! YES!” He ran to Y/N’s room, “Babe, I got something that’ll cheer you up.”

Y/N who had near reverted back to constant muteness, glared at him. “Well, more so. Come on, baby girl.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her through the halls and burst through the doors near the station and shouted into said station, “Fergus is wearing a helmet! He is wearing A HELMET! Quick, everybody!”

Eddie, Francine, and Rosalie ran after him and he pulled his girlfriend along into the day room. “Fergus has just been spotted wearing a helmet!”

Other patients got up apart from Alistair because heave forbid something get between him and his TV.

They watched out the window, “YES! He’s gonna do it!”

Fergus leapt from the roof and glided through the air, finding a new way to escape.

–

Later Fergus came back with the mixer when Eddie and Y/N noticed that Campbell wasn’t there so they looked and found him outside, reading a letter with a disappointed look on his face.

“Campbell? Been looking all over for you. Fergus is back with a mixer he got in auction for a fraction of what it’s worth. Come and have a look.”

“Aye, maybe later.” Campbell sighed, dejectedly.

“This is a big moment, Campbell! What are you doing out here?” Y/N said, sitting next to her boyfriend and ran her hand through his hair, scratching his head,

“I just got my post.” He sighed.

“You got some bad news?” Eddie asked.

“It’s not what I got, Eddie, it’s what I didnae get!” He corrected.

“I hope you’re no expecting a message from the blue men from Venus.”

“Not the blue men from Venus, Eddie; the blue-suited bastards from the radio stations!”

“…Oh.” Eddie said.

“Days since we’ve done our publicity stunt. I phoned Radio Scotland today, and do you know what I found? The head of radio was on holiday. His deputy was out to lunch—at half two in the afternoon! The head of entertainment was permanently on another line, and his senior producer was in a meeting all bloody day!”

Eddie and Y/N gave him rueful smiles and he ran his hand through his floppy locks and as his girlfriend affectionately scratched his head, providing some comfort to him.

“No wonder they’ve not been in touch! Eddie, nobody in that building actually does any work!”

“Aren’t we living proof of that?” Y/N asked,  sardonically, “people don’t like to do their jobs and so other people suffer for it.”

“How do you not just send them a demo?” Eddie asked.

“That would be groveling.” Campbell protested.

“Then grovel!” Eddie shouted and then walked off.

“Come on, babe.” Y/N took Campbell’s hand and pulled him back inside.

–

Campbell was on his girlfriend’s bed since he had annoyed his roommates, writing the letters and ranting  about them to the only person who would listen at this hour—his girlfriend

“No respect. None at all.” He was grumbling.

“Cam, you’re too stressed.” She said, placing her chin on his shoulder.

“But this is my life’s passion.”

“Of course, it is.” She said, scratching his head and he indulged, tilting his head back in an almost moan and smiling before turning his head and kissing her, pressing her against her bed, grinning as he kissed her.

When there was a sudden noise, caused by Campbell accidently kicking a book off her bed, she flinched and he saw her eyes dart about in genuine fear.

“I won’t let him hurt you. Whoever ‘him’ is.” He whispered.

–

The next day, Campbell was reading his draft, “Dear sir or madam: Please find enclosed clippings from last week’s papers, which, if you had bothered to read, would have informed you that two bright young talents have emerged on the Glasgow radio scene.“

“Young?” Eddie asked.

“I am giving you this one last chance to snap us up before some other station does and I’m sending you a demo of a show we did together recently. I await your reply. Yours faithfully.”

“Campbell, ye cannae send a letter like that.” Eddie protested.

“I’m sorry, Eddie, but it’s no more Mister Nice Guy.” Campbell said.

“You haven’t tried being polite to them yet.”

“I’m trying to get their attention, Eddie!” Campbell argued.

“Well, you’ll get that.”

“Yeah, you’re brilliant at it.” Y/N said.

“Won you over, babe.” He grinned at her and then the cow, Evelyn came in.

“Hello. I just thought I’d pop in. “Post-open-day”, as it were. Doctor Winter’s asked me to thank you all on her behalf for a job well done.” She said and spotted the mixer, “So this is it, eh? It’s bigger than I expected.”

“Well, that’s what happens when you know nothing about something.” Y/N deadpanned and Eddie gave her a pointed look.

“For a small but growing station!” Campbell exclaimed.

“Well, I’ll get you an electrician, shall I?”

“No, it’s okay, Fergus here is sorting us out.

“…Yes, but I think…” Evelyn started.

“There’s nothing to do after I bring it up to spec except plug it in.” Fergus reassured her.

“Still, we must have a qualified person, surely.

“Fergus is qualified. He’s a genius!”

“He’s got a degree in electronics!” Campbell protested.

“A master’s degree.” Y/N added.

“Away and get your degree, Fergus.”

“There’s no need.” She said and then turned to Eddie like he was the only reasonable person in the room, “Look, I’m sorry, but we cannot use this mixer until it’s been installed by a qualified person.”

“Fergus is a qualified person!”

“Fergus is a patient! I am responsible for this station, Eddie. Now, I will get you an electrician as quickly as I can, but in the meantime, I am not going to risk burning down the hospital! Now surely that is not unreasonable.”

Fergus angrily tossed his tools onto the mixer and stormed off with Francine following.

“Now look what you’ve done.” Campbell spat as Y/N glared at her.

“I’ll put the requisition in this afternoon.” Evelyn said, seeming to have no regret and then she left.

“I hate her.” Y/N said.

–

“This is the Fabulous Francine, and tonight I’m bringing you music from nineteen-sixty-three, the year Kennedy was assassinated by a lone gunman. It was also the year my brother’s front tooth was turned into a sixpence by the tooth fairy, and Hamis in Ward two first saw reptiles looking at him through the keyhole.”

Campbell burst into the station the next day, whooping and shouting excitedly, “I did it! I did it!”

Y/N grabbed onto him and Eddie shushed him.

“Well, if you’ve just heard the commotion in the studio, you’ll want to know that Campbell has done it! We don’t know what it is he’s done, how, when, or who’s going to clean it up, but stay tuned for hospital news time after this.” Francine said and she slid the fader on the song and gave Campbell a pointed look.

“Do you no check before you barge in?”

“I couldnae help myself, Eddie. Radio Scotland have invited us in for a chat!” Campbell said excitedly, showing him and Y/N the letter, “Thursday at twelve: thirty! I’m telling you, Eddie, if they buy us lunch, we’re in!”

“You got this by writing that letter?” Eddie asked.

“Well, I toned it down a wee bit. And you should see what I got to wear for the occasion!” He said and he pulled a New York Giants baseball hat out of his back pocket and put it on his head. “‘Mister Cool Campbell!’ Is it not absolutely brilliant? I traded a pack of cigarettes for it. What do you think, Fergus?”

Fergus angrily crumbled up the newspaper he had been reading and he left as he said, “Aye, you look great.”

“What’s up with him?” Campbell asked.

“Maybe he’s still annoyed about the mixer.” Eddie asked.

“Where is the mixer, anyway?” Campbell asked as Y/N bent over and picked up the newspaper from the trash where Fergus had thrown it.

“They locked it in the nurses’ room until they get the electrician in.” Eddie said.

“Orders of the Reichsführer, no doubt. That’ll be it, then.” Campbell said.

“I think it’s more likely to be this.” Y/N said and handed them the newspaper.

“What’s that?”  Eddie asked.

“All the jobs he cannae have. He’s being discharged in a couple of weeks.” Francine said.

“He could have any of these! He’d blow them away.” Campbell pointed out.

“He’s got nae references and nae recent experience. Sooner or later they always find out how no. Looks like he even got an application form for one.” Francine said.

“Nothing from nineteen-ninety-one till now.” Campbell said, unfolding the paper and reading it.

“Could he not just slip in a new re-list of jobs?” Rosalie asked.

“How?

“With a pen.” Rosalie said, like it should be obvious.

“Aye! Nobody’s going to care once they hire him.” Campbell said, cheerfully.

“April nineteen-ninety-one to May nineteen-ninety-two, Assistant Programmer with IBM.” Rosalie suggested.

“No just assistant!” Francine said, brightly.

“Aye, make him Programmer. No, Senior Programmer! And then from April nineteen-ninety-two to February nineteen-nintey-three—"

“—Computer Hardware Consultant with British Petroleum.” Rosalie said.

“Perfect. And about time too!” Campbell commented.

“And then for February nineteen-ninety-three to the present… Systems Analyst for Strathclyde Regional Planning Department!”

“A diabolically clever career move.” Campbell smirked, crossing his arms.

“Cannae put in all those jobs. It’ll look like he changes jobs too often.” Eddie pointed out.

“You’re right. I think a man of Fergus’s cal-eye-ber would go straight for the Systems Analyst job in nineteen-ninety-one and stick with it. He’s that kind of guy! Brilliant, but loyal.” Campbell said, passionately.

“He’d never get away with it, though.” Y/N said.

“How no?” Campbell frowned at his more negative girlfriend.

“'Cause he’d need a reference for his present employer and a return address that’s no a loony bin.” She pointed out.

“Oh, aye.” Campbell sighed.

“If it were so easy to lie about your past, believe me I’d know.” Y/N added, grimly at a mutter and Campbell sat next to her, taking her hand gently and giving her a soft comforting look.

– 

Fergus was reading The Great Escape when Campbell dashed in.

“Fergus! Fergus, what are you sitting there for?” He said, enthusiastically, pulling him to his feet. “We’ve got letters to write, forms to fill in! You are a Systems Analyst and you are getting an excellent reference from your current employer.”

“Who’s my current employer?”

“The Glasgow Area Manager of Twinview Windows, Mr. Edward McKenna!”

Fergus looked at the beaming Campbell.

–

Y/N sat in the back of the car as her boyfriend was ecstatic, she however was wary, she had a hood over her head even in the car with her head down.

“I’m gonna remember everything about this day, Eddie, Y/N! I’m gonna remember what I had for breakfast, that song that’s playing on the radio.”

“Just don’t get your hopes up too much, huh?” Eddie warned him.

“Eddie, I’m telling yeh, if they buy us lunch, we’re in.” Campbell said, enthusiastically.

“Buy us lunch?!” Eddie asked, incredulously.

“Aye! All the big deals are clinched over lunch. Like Dallas. You ever see J.R. clinch a deal over coffee? If J.R. offered you coffee, you were out. If they offer us coffee, Eddie, it’s bad news. Come onnnn, are you not excited? D'you not wantae go into Twinview tomorrow and tell them all to bugger off?!”

“Aye, sure I would.”

“And I’m gonna remember that busker over there—” Campbell continued his manic promised and then he leaned out the car door window and shouted to said busker, “HANG IN ‘ERE, MY MAN! YOU’LL BE FAMOUS ONE DAY!”

“Campbell!” Y/N spoke for the first time since leaving Jude’s hospital and she leaned forwards, reached around his front seat, grabbed her boyfriend by the back of his hooded jacket. “You’re not a dog, don’t stick your head out the window, you might hit a stop sign or some other idiot sticking his head out of the window.”

“Did you just call me an idiot?” He asked, but was not offended.

“A cute idiot wearing a very idiotic hat.” She said.

Campbell grinned at Eddie with only that of the excitement of a young teenage boy in love would and he giggled, “She said I’m cute.”

“Yes, Campbell, I heard.” Eddie said, dryly.

Campbell was still doing it when they arrived and when they walked through the doors, “And I’m gonna remember that car! And I’m gonna remember those trees! I’m gonna remember going through this door, Eddie. I’m gonna remember this carpet!”

They reached the receptionist’s desk and Eddie spoke to her, “Edward McKenna, Y/N L/N, and Campbell Bain to see Paula Kinghorn, please.”

“And these awards! Folk who worked in this building got these awards!”

“You can go right up. It’s the fourth floor, and Paula will meet you at the lift.”

Campbell grinned as he went to her as Eddie and Y/N walked off, “And I’m gonna remember you. You’re wonderful. You’re amazing—”  

Y/N came back and grabbed him by the collar, glaring at him and pulled him away.

“Oi! You’re the only one I’ve got eyes for.” Campbell grinned but Y/N didn’t return it, she didn’t even look at him, she just pushed him towards the lift.

Campbell tried to catch her eye in the lift but she stared at the floor, clutching her stainless steel black Dahlia necklace.

“Hi, Paula Kinghorn, Senior Producer, Entertainment Department. I’m so glad we could meet at last. I remember reading about your publicity stunt with Spike Milligan in the papers. And we were much impressed with your demo.” She told them and then turned to her assistant, “Fiona, you couldn’t get me a coffee, could you?” Then she turned to Campbell, Y/N, and Eddie, “Would you like a coffee?”

Campbell’s smile fell and he and Eddie exchanged looks.

– 

“I can’t believe she rushed us out of there like that!” Campbell raved as they exited.

“She didnae! She had a lunch meeting.” Eddie reminded him.

“That should have been our lunch meeting, Eddie!” Campbell complained.

Y/N pulled a parking ticket out from under Eddie’s windshield wiper and showed it to Campbell and Eddie and coldly remarked, “Don’t want to keep this as a memento, do you?” She threw it in Campbell’s face and got into the back of the car, slamming the door shut.

They were in the car as Y/N had shut herself off, listening to her Walkman.

“Well, I’m no gonnae stand for it. They’re no gonnae treat us like this.” Campbell continued to rave.

“Like what? They’re interested, Campbell. Gonnae get us in to do a pilot as soon as a slot comes up.” Eddie said.

“I’m sorry, but if that’s the best they can do, I’m going tae Radio Clyde.”

“Campbell, Radio Clyde are nae interested.”

“Aye, they are! Just don’t know it yet.”

“Campbell, maybe in the films a guy can take a handful of his fragile wee dreams into the big white building and they make him a star. But in the real world, you beat your head against a brick wall until it’s bloody. And then, maybe, one day, you look up and you see just a wee crack in it. There’s a lot more of my blood on that wall than yours, Campbell, and today I looked up and saw that crack.” Eddie said, cynically.

“I’ll phone Radio Clyde tomorrow.” Campbell said, smiling, undaunted, putting his baseball hat back on.

Y/N rolled her eyes and got out of the car, slamming the door shut and stomped into Jude’s hospital.

“You might want to be more concerned that you flirted with a woman in front of your girlfriend and she is not happy.”

Campbell turned and watched her slam the door shut as he and Eddie got out of the car, “Are you coming in?” He asked.

“Aye. Some letters came to the flat for Fergus.”

“First or second class?” Campbell asked, taking the letters.

“Why?”

“Because, Eddie, nobody spends an extra six pence to say ‘don’t call us, we’ll call you’.” He looked at the mail, “YES!” Then he ran inside, “FERGUS!”

 –

Fergus read the letter and spoke with utter disbelief to Eddie, Campbell, and Francine, “…I’ve been invited for an interview!”

“YES! I knew we could do it.” Campbell cheered at his usual volume—High volume.

“When for?”

“Monday.”

“Monday!” Campbell leapt off his chair, “Right, we’ve gottae get organized! Where’s Rosalie when you need her? Have you got a suit?”

“No.”

“You’re in luck. My great-uncle died last month; I’ve still got my suit from the funeral.” Campbell told him and ruffled Fergus’ hair, “And you need a haircut, my man!”

“I can cut it, if you want.” Francine offered.

“I haven’t been for an interview since I left university.” Fergus mused, bashfully.

“You’ll do great. Just you be yourself.”

“But I’m a loony.” Fergus pointed out.

“Then be somebody else. Michael Burke is good, or, uh, David Attenborough?”

“Michael Burke?”

“C'mon, let’s take a look at the suit.”

Fergus looked at Eddie, “You sure you want to do this?”

“Of course I do!”

“Oh, where’s Y/N?” Campbell asked.

“Oh, she freaked out when she got some flowers, then locked herself in her room.” Francine said.

–

After giving Fergus the suit, Campbell went to check on his girlfriend but her door was locked. He knocked on the door, shouting, “Babe! Babe! Fergus got an interview!” Campbell shouted from the other side.

No answer.

He fished for a card from his pocket and he bent it before sliding it into the crack of the door and shimmying the door and unlocked.

“Ha-ha, thank you, rebellious teen years.” He softly laughed with triumph to himself and he opened the door only to be screamed at by his girlfriend.

“GET OUT!”

Y/N was in her room, on her bed, glaring at him with teary eyes, blasting music with a glass vase of assorted flowers of black dahlias, yellow and black roses broken and scattered on the floor and another newspaper of Campbell’s stunt with red words on it: He’ll never love you like I do.

Campbell ignored her wishes and picked up the paper. He felt a need to protective his girlfriend and his voice darkened slightly, “Who did this?”

She dropped her head back into her pillow.

“Y/N, who—did this?” He demanded and she hurled her pillow at him, hitting him in the face. “Y/N!”

“Go away! You’re just like him! You’re just like all of them!” She cried.

“Y/N, tell me who did this?” He pleaded.

“My… exe… if you could call him that.” She spat and kicked her foot when he tried to sit down. “He used to flirt with girls in front of me too.”

“Oh, shite.” Campbell m

uttered, “I’m sorry, I-I shouldn’t have done that. But I wouldn’t do this. Please, babe.”

“He hurt me. It started with flirts, then it got worse and worse.” She muttered, tearfully.

“I won’t hurt you. I promise, Y/N, I will never ever hurt you.” He pleaded as he all but drunkenly danced to avoid the broken glass before falling flat on his face but he got back up, grasping her hands with huge pleading puppy-dog eyes. “And if I do, I will spend all my days making it up to you, I will make you the happiest loony there has ever been because you make me feel that way.”

She looked at him through her messy hair and then raised an arm, silently inviting him in, he kicked his shoes off and flopped into bed beside her, snuggling into her.

“I won’t. I won’t. I won’t.” He promised as she scratched his head.

It was silent for a long time when he asked, “Is he… why you stopped talking?”

He felt her nod her head, her lips grazing the top of his head.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He reassured her and she pulled him closer into her body.

“I’ll tell you eventually.” She said, softly, “But not now. Soon.”

–

Campbell was fiddling with a crackling fader with  Y/N cutting up the flowers into a box to give to Mad John the pyromaniac when Eddie came in.

“Listen to that, Eddie. That channel’s gonna go in the middle of my show tonight. And then what am I supposed to do, use a loud hailer?”

“I’ll have another word with Evelyn, but she says the electricians are a law unto themselves.” Eddie caid and Y/N scoffed, now stabbing at a flower with the scissors.

“Evelyn’s a law unto herself. She walks all over you, you know that?”

“Campbell, everybody walks all over me.”  Eddie said and Y/N huffed, making a dent in the table from the scissors, “Is Fergus about?”

“He’s escaped for his interview this afternoon.” Campbell confirmed. “And I’ve got more bad news.”

“Ah, great. Just what I need.” Eddie sighed.

“Okay, never mind.” Campbell sighed.

“Ahh, just tell me, Campbell.”

“No, you don’t want to hear.” Campbell shrugged.

“Campbell, I’ve already thumped somebody today. I’ll thump you next if you don’t tell me!” Eddie snapped.

“Unless you want to be stabbed with scissors, I wouldn’t recommend that, McKenna.” Y/N growled, seemingly melting out of the shadows behind Campbell who never felt more loved. No one had ever threatened violence for him.

“Well, um… Radio Clyde are-are definitely out.”

“Out of what?” Eddie asked.

“Out of the master plan.”

“Campbell, Radio Clyde were never remotely interested in the first place!” Eddie said.

“Well, they were when I told them about Radio Scotland.

“Campbell… w-what did you tell them?” Eddie stammered.

“That Radio Scotland had made us an offer. Just a late-night slot, filling in for somebody.”

“How’d you have to tell them that?!” Eddie shouted.

“Well, I could have told them they’d offered us a permanent slot, but Y/N thought that might be a bit much. What do you think?” Campbell said, in an either sarcastic or totally oblivious tone.

“I THINK YOU’RE A LUNATIC, CAMPBELL!” Eddie shouted.

“Aye, but what do you think of the game plan?”

“Campbell, you might have just blown our hopes for Radio Scotland.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. I mean, the guy from Radio Clyde was dead impressed and that.” Campbell dismissed.

“And?” 

“And… he said he thought we ought to take Radio Scotland’s offer.”

“Which we don’t have! Which Radio Clyde know we don’t have! Which Radio Scotland will know by the end of the week that we’ve been saying we have, but don’t have!”

“But we will! I haven’t talked to Radio Scotland yet.” Campbell said, optimistically.

“Then don’t!”

“Eddie, I’m doing this for us! For you!”

“Don’t do anything for me, Campbell. I actually have a contact at Radio Scotland. I am thirty-eight years old and Paula Kinghorn is my first contact. Let me have that. Just let me imagine as I drift off to sleep at night that someday that’s gonna mean I’ll be a professional DJ. How can you not do that for me?”

“Because we’re a duo.” Campbell said.

“Then go solo!”

Eddie went to leave but Campbell yanked off his headphones and slammed them on the desk, stomping after Eddie, “We are going to go into professional radio together, Eddie. That was the deal. That’s still the deal.” There was a pause and his tone calmed, “Anyway, I’ve already set up an appointment with Radio Scotland for Tuesday. Four o'clock. That okay with you?”

–

Campbell and Y/N gave the box to Mad John who lit it ablaze before hearing about Fergus’ news.

She were lying in his head as she had broken glass everywhere in her room.

“Do you think I should go solo?” He asked her.

“Cams, do you want to know my favorite thing about you?”

“Not my dashing good looks?” He teased.

“Your what now?” She teased back and he gave her a mock gasp.

“Oh, you’re in for it.” He moved over top her and he tickled her, making her shout with laughter before he placed his hands on her face and kissed her.

She said something into his lips.

“Hmm?” He asked, moving her jaw with chaise kisses.

“Your loyalty.” She said, “That’s my favorite thing about you. This deal. You’re not going back on it. And I love that about you.”

“Yeah, well,” He said, pulling away to look at her, “when you’re treated like you’re less than human because you’re cognitively challenged, you learn compassion and empathy quite easily. You learn that everyone has their own struggle and to not give up. That’s why I’m not bailing on this. Whoever, your ‘exe’ is, they don’t scare me. Light’s too easy to love; I like your darkness just like you like mine and I’m all in.”

“Just wait.” She said, darkly.

Then they heard cheering and with one last peck, he got up and helped Y/N up and they walked out to hear the news.

When Eddie and Francine came back, Eddie went to Campbell, “Campbell, what’s going on?”

“He did it! Fergus got the job!

“I always said he was a genius!” Rosalie added.

“We did it, Eddie! We can heal the sick,” Campbell cheered and raised his arms, dramatically, “we can raise the dead!”

“Babe, you’re being dramatic again.” Y/N said, appearing at his side

“I can get an equally as loony girlfriend!” He added to the list and kissed her.

“Campbell, Fergus deserved to get the job!” Eddie said over the noise, making Campbell break the kiss.

“But that’s the beauty of it! He deserved the job andhe got it! Is that not a miracle?!” Campbell pointed out.

“How often does that actually happen, Eddie?” Y/N asked.

“Right enough.” Eddie admitted.

“So you did it, you wee bastard!” Francine congratulated

“Subject to references.”

“Don’t worry about that. I said you’re the best Systems Analyst I ever worked with and I’d be sick to lose you. It’s all true!”

“Hoo. What am I gonna do now?” Fergus asked.

“Now, you get up every morning, you go to work, you hate your boss… that’s it.”

“Sounds depressing.” Y/N deadpanned but she was looking at Campbell. She figured as long as he was by her side, she’d get through it. She’d be safe and okay and loony as long as she was with him.

Campbell blushed at her gaze, feeling the same way for her. Neither having any intention on letting the other go. He pulled her into his lap and rested his chin on her shoulder, twisting his swivel chair.

“It’s a lot better than it sounds if you’re making a lot of dosh.” Eddie added.

“Aye, and this is just the beginning! Anything’s possible now! Eddie, we are going to get that job with Radio Scotland. Y/N is going to be my amazing manager/girlfriend,” Campbell wrapped an arm around Y/N and kissed her cheek as she gave him an amused look, “with her own bodyguard—not like Stuart but a good one with a soul—And Rosalie is gonna get a flat with carpets and central heating.”

“And a dishwasher!” Rosalie added.

“And Francine’s gonnae dance on the stage at Covent Garden.” Francine said, somewhat sarcastically.

Y/N cleared her throat, bringing Eddie’s attention to the channels.

“And your number two channel’s gonna go in three seconds.”

“Oh, Jesus! Where’s the bloody electrician?” Campbell exclaimed, reaching around Y/N.

“We don’t need an electrician.” Eddie said.

“We need somebody with a degree in electronics.” Rosalie said.

“We need a systems analyst!” Francine said, enthusiastically.

“Where are we going to get a systems analyst at this time of night?” Y/N asked, sarcastically, tilting her head back to look at Fergus.

And everyone else looked expectantly at Fergus. He pulled up his sleeve, then softly punched the mixing desk, making it work.

“Aaaand it’s business as usual!” Campbell laughed.

“I didn’t expect that to work!” Fergus said and Y/N laughed.

Isabel entered just then, “I’m sorry, Rosalie, but your social worker’s here.”

“It’s ten o'clock at night!”

“She came specially. Come on.” She said.

Rosalie pretended to follow Isabel down the hall but then ran off to the left and down another hall at the last second.

“And it’s business as usual.” Eddie said to himself, amused.

 ———-

“So, you’re gonna lie?” Y/N asked her boyfriend as he babbled on about his plan as Y/N didn’t have a free day pass tomorrow before he kissed her.

Campbell whined, pulling back, “It isn’t not lying, Y/N. Sometimes you just have to look somebody in the eye and tell the truth that should be instead of the truth that is. Now please, let me kiss you, for good luck?” He didn’t initiate the kiss, he waited for her until she kissed him.

“First thing you do when you come back is tell me how it went?” Y/N asked after they turned the light out.

“Absolutely.”

–

Francine and Y/N walked through the hospital, talking about Eddie and Campbell when they spotted Fergus, giving off an odd vibe, screwing the mixer into the table.

“Fergus? What you doing?” Francine asked.

“I’m installing the new mixer.”

“They’ll just take it back.”

“They said a non-looney expert had to do it.” Y/N frowned.

“Not this time, 'cause I’ve screwed it to the desk. They’ll have to take the desk apart, and they’ll need an electrician to do it.” Fergus pointed out.

She felt a terrible sense of foreboding creeping inside of her. “Has something happened about the job?” Y/N asked.

“Mm-hmm.“ He hummed, continuing to screw it into the desk.

“They renewed your section?” Francine asked.

“No, they’re letting me out. They’re letting me out to sit in my room, they’re letting me out to watch the television.” Fergus told them, bitterly.

Francine and Y/N walked to him, “Fergus, please. How come you’re no starting the job?”

“Because they needed a medical reference and Hollis and her associate told them I’m just a fucking loon… Well, that’s it, then. Finished.” He wiped dust off of the table and turned to the window.

“Fergus, don’t go! Next time we’ll get you a medical reference!” Y/N pleaded, knowing the signs as Fergus opened the window to make his final escape. “If Eddie can be your boss, he can be your doctor!  Oh, Fergus, don’t go! Eddie and Campbell will be back soon! Where are you going?“

"Out for some air.”

“Fergus, please, don’t go!” Francine pleaded.

“FERGUS! PLEASE!” Y/N screamed.

But he swung himself out of the window and started to climb on the drain pipe.

“FERGUS!” Y/N screamed, trying to throw herself out the window after him but Francine pulled her back.

“No! Come on!” She grabbed her hand and the two female loonies ran through the hospital, frantic, and pushing the doors open loudly, they tried to open the door to where Fergus was heading but it was locked.

“Open the door, open the door, somebody open the door!” Francine screamed as Y/N ran to the desk and grabbed a paper clip as Stuart grabbed Francine, holding her back.

“Francine!” Isabel said as Y/N snuck past them and started to pick the key card lock with the paper clip.

“Fergus is gone!”

“Fergus is always going out, Francine!” Isabel said.

“He’s gonna do something! We’ve got to go after him!“

“He’ll be all right!”

Campbell and Eddie appeared behind the entrance door as Y/N got the other door open and was grabbed by Stuart, making her scream and fight.

“Eddie! Fergus is gone! He’s not got a job anymore! Hollis told them he was a loony!” Francine cried as Campbell and Eddie opened the door.

“Would you leave her!” Campbell shouted at Stuart

Y/N got out and she turned around and pulled him forth and tripped him over, using his strength against him before Campbell pulled her into him but she pushed away and bolted after Fergus, through the doors.

"HE’S GOING TO KILL HIMSELF!” She was screaming as she ran.

“He’s going to do something! I saw him on the ledge, he’s heading for the tower, I know it!” Francine cried.

Campbell turned and ran after Y/N with Stuart and Eddie following, they passed Doctor Hollis and another young man that if Y/N wasn’t so focused on saving Fergus, she would’ve recognized the man who broke her. They were walking rather indifferently and without a care for what Hollis had done to Fergus in the other direction.

The man smirked, malevolently at Y/N’s retreating form and turned to Hollis, “Shall we make our leave?”

Campbell and Eddie caught up with Y/N as she hurriedly tried to pick the key card lock on the next door but her urgentcy made her mess up the paper clip.

“RAAAHH!” She growled and kicked the door.

Stuart finally arrived and unlocked the door with his key card, Y/N and Campbell were the first through the door, running with their hair flying.

Hollis put the books on Schizophrenia she wrote in the back of her car and was planning on using Fergus as a guinea pig for the next.

“Oh my god!” Her colleague said with faux surprise.

Fergus jumped on the balcony of the tower and teetered, slightly, looking down four stories. He teetered some more as he came into Y/N’s view and then he teetered off the edge, falling the four stories.

Campbell ran to the balcony, howling, “FERGUSSS!”

Y/N nearly threw herself over the ledge herself if Eddie and Campbell hadn’t grabbed her before she flipped over as she screamed Fergus’ name but he had already hit Hollis’ car.

Y/N stared in horror before rage filled her when she spotted a familiar young man around her age, looking up at her as opposed to the bloodied mess that once was Fergus.

Hollis and her associate.

Hollis had told the people at Fergus’ job that he was schizophrenic, and he painted Fergus in the worst light.

She stormed through the hospital with cold fury in her eyes, she stomped outside.

“I told you you’d regret leaving me, Y/N.” He said without any regret as Hollis screamed in the background.

Y/N pulled her fist back and punched her exe in the face before going to Hollis.

When the police arrived and pulled her off of her exe, she realized at some point she had knocked Hollis out cold and went back to bloodying up her exe.

Chapter Text

“You are not the darkness you endured, you are the light that refused to surrender.”

Link to episode five of Takin' Over the Asylum with Subtitles

Lucifer Morningstar Singing "Creep" By Radiohead

Link to Creep by Radiohead

Fergus’ funeral had finished and the mourners whom none of them had ever seen in their lives were leaving while the loonies—Eddie, Rosalie, Francine, Y/N, and a very, very drunk Campbell—stayed at his grave.

“Some wake, huh?” Campbell asked.

“We can go on back to the house with the others. His da invited us.” Eddie said.

“Did he hell! An invitation is when you say, ‘Would you like to come back to the house for a wee whisky?’ No ‘I s'pose you can come back t'the house if ye want.’ I mean, who were all those folk? Rental mourners? Never saw any ae them come to visit Fergus in hospital.”

“Right enough.” Francine said.

“And that minister! Don’t think he’d even met the guy. Talking about “the tragic death of a young man of only thirty years”. Fergus was twenty-seven! Getting us up to sing Fergus’s favorite hymn! Fergus was a rabid, card-carrying atheist! And that bit about “the terrible illness that eventually killed him”. Fergus didnae have cancer, he was a loony!” He started to fail his arms about, drunkenly,  “A bam, crazy, mental, out tae lunch, of another planet…!” He fell against Eddie and Y/N who caught him.

“Babe.” Y/N said, taking the drink from her boyfriend before taking a swig herself.

Campbell snatched it back, “I’ll give this to you when you tell me who that boy you beat was.”

Y/N’s eyes became cold and she shook herself away from him.

“You are pished, my friend.” Eddie said and took the bottle of whiskey from him.

Campbell seemed insulted and affronted and said, his words slurred with alcohol, “That’s rich comin fae you.

“Aye, but I’m no an amateur.” Eddie said.

Campbell looked back down at the coffin, “He was a genius. He could have done anything.”

“Aye. So he could.”

Campbell’s face screwed up with pained grief and he made his drunken exit. Y/N didn’t notice her exe, fresh from the hospital after a month of treatments for the injuries she had inflicted upon him limping his way over to Campbell.

“You Campbell Bain?” He asked.

“Who are you?” Campbell asked.

“The real love of your girlfriend’s life.” Campbell glared as her exe got closer to him, realizing “She will never love you like she loved me and you could never love her like I love her. The harlot.) And then Campbell saw red.

Y/N looked up when she heard a thud and saw Campbell standing over a boy on the ground.

Y/N ran over and stopped her exe from hitting Campbell back but her exe threw a punch aimed at her and Campbell pushed her out of the way… the next thing she knew her exe was being arrested with a bloody nose again.

–

Eddie, Francine, Rosalie, Campbell, and Y/N reentered Saint Jude’s hospital and they approached the radio station where they heard Rainy Night in Georgia playing and they found an electrician in the studio.

“Who the hell are you?” Eddie asked.

“I could ask you the same thing.” The electrician said.

“I’m the guy who owns that record.”

“Some collector. That’s an original Brook Benton version fae nineteen-seventy-eight.

“Nineteen-sixty-nine.” Eddie corrected, “How did you get in here? Naebody’s supposed to be in here except authorized staff.”

“I’m the electrician.”

Eddie’s glare hardened, “Right, that’s it.” And he started to stuff the electrician’s tools in his case.

“What? They don’t go in like that!”

“They do the night!” Eddie snapped and he grabbed the electrician by his collar and pushed him out.

“What are you on, pal?” The electrician complained.

“Eddie, Eddie!” Isabel yelled, coming up to them.

“Daft bastard!” The electrician cursed.

“What’s the problem?” Isabel asked.

“‘What’s the problem’?! Why is he no sedated?”

“He’s not a patient!”

“Well, he should be!”  The electrician said and then he stormed off.

Isabel turned to Eddie, “It doesn’t matter to Fergus now. You’re only storing up trouble for yourself!”

“Aye? Well, IT’S EASILY DONE ROUND HERE!”

Y/N took Campbell’s hand and tugged on it, Campbell followed her to her room as she started to take buckled boots off as he awkwardly stood there with his hands stuffed into his pockets.

“So… who is he?”

“Electrician that, I wager.” She said, though she knew he wasn’t referring to the electrician.

“Y/N.” Campbell said as Y/N struggled to reach her zipper behind her back. “I get he’s your exe but there’s more to it , isn’t there?”  He gently took her zipper and started to pull it down but then she stepped away, hugging her arms across her chest in a defensive manner to keep them from shaking.

She thought about her transition from the incident, how she stopped talking for nearly a year and after only two months of knowing Campbell she started to talk again, she became more… like her but not like she was before. Campbell was the only person who made her feel like her while EX/N tried to make her into someone else. She knew she could trust him; everyone did tell her how utterly smitten he was with her.

She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. She didn’t turn around she just stared her copy of How To Kill a Mockingbird.

(IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE OR DON’T WANT TO READ DESCRIPTION OF UNDERAGED RAPE, SKIP)

"He was my best friend… or more like… he was my only friend. He was nearly four years older than me and for some reason he was my babysitter because my parents didn’t trust me. Looking back—I-I should’ve seen the signs, the red flags. He never knocked even when he knew I would be changing, not even when he would hear me in the shower. He would just stare at me sometimes. He would touch me in inappropriate places but I thought they were innocent. As we got older, it became more sexual, it wasn’t just him being a hormonal teenager but him being perverted and actively interested in performing sexual activities with me.”

Campbell dug his nails into his palm with outrage. He had a feeling he knew where this was going and he hated it.

“Then he became obsessed with me when I got into high school and started wearing bras. I was fourteen when he started doing things with me, never over second base but still… I wasn’t at the consent age yet. He told me that it was for science and sometimes I woke up to find him… doing things. He pushed my limits, even when I begged him to stop. Sometimes, he brought his friends and whoever they’d invite over, the oldest had to be in his thirties, twice my age and he took pictures of me. He threatened to tell everyone that I had forced myself upon him, if I told anyone. My parents already didn’t like me.”

“Jesus…” Campbell breathed in horror.

“If I did something he didn’t like… he would…” she shuddered, “When he would go too far. He would apologize the next day, and I would always forgive him. Because I was so kind…” She laughed, bitterly with tears in her eyes. “He told me that no one else would ever love me like he did. No one would do things that we did. I hated myself for my compassion but even when I managed to numb myself of my emotions, it was still there.”

Campbell both wanted her to stop talking yet keep talking at the same time.

“It wasn’t until I was eighteen when he first… on my eighteenth birthday. Coming on a year ago. He promised that things would be different, that he loved me and would show that he loves me. He… he got me drunk but when I still wouldn’t consent and fought back, he pretended to sustain and got me some more alcohol, I didn’t see him slip in the drug.”

Campbell wished he had done something worse than just punch him in the face.

“I was conscious the whole time. He must’ve cut the pill or something. But I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t move. I pleaded for him to stop but he wouldn’t, insisting that I wanted it and when I tried to scream for help, he choked me as hard as he could and banged my head against the floor, and I blacked out but I know he continued. When I woke up, I ached so much and there was so much blood. I was so horrified by what he did to me. I stopped talking. Eight months later, they sent me here. That’s why I was so scared when you crashed into me when we first me, why I was so scared of you long after, why I scream whenever any man, especially Stuart would get too close to me. And I was so scared because he found me. I thought he was going to do it again.” She started to sob and Campbell pulled her into his lap and she sobbed into the crook of his neck.

“No, he won’t. I won’t let him. I won’t let him near you.”

(END OF SKIP. THIS WAS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN AND I’M DISGUSTED THAT MY MIND CAN GO SO DARK.)

“I don’t think that’s what he wants. He worked with Hollis, he called Fergus’ job and he painted him in a bad light. He drove Fergus to suicide…” She broke into sobs, “What if he goes after Rosalie or Eddie or Francine… or you. I can’t let him hurt you.”

“He won’t. He got arrested for assault. And if you want, you can go and tell the police what he did to you and Fergus and he’ll be in jail, and then I can hire a bodyguard for you when I become a famous  DJ.” He said, gently, “do you… do you think you can do that?”

Y/N pulled back and looked at him, her irises several shades of E/C lighter than usual and she nodded and kissed him gently before saying, “You do look good in a suit. Very James Bond.”

“James Bond?” He laughed and then straightened his tie, “Really?”

–

About a week later, Eddie was sitting rather morosely still as a record spun.

Campbell and Y/N exchanged looks and Campbell grabbed a blindfold  and covered Eddie’s eyes with it.

“Freeze! Don’t look. What was the name of that record?

“Dream Lover.” Eddie and Y/N said in unison.

“Which was in the British charts for?”

“Nineteen weeks.” They said.

“In?”

“Nineteen-fifty-nine.”

“See? Told you they could do it. Did I not tell you?

“They’re geniuses, they are.”

“Of course, Y/N is. I’m dating her!” Campbell said and kissed Y/N, grinning into the kiss.

“You’re still here?” Eddie asked, turning away from the kissing teens.

“Oh aye. If they want to get rid of me, they’ll have to catch me first.” Rosalie as the teens parted with Campbell’s arm around her and her head, resting on his shoulder.

“Rosalie’s got us all organized for the pilot tomorrow,” Campbell said, “Eddie; it’s gonna be brilliant, and I have just come up with the perfect angle.”

“Which is?”

“We are going to be playing a number one hit fae every year from nineteen-fifty-six to nineteen-seventy, aye?”

“And I’ve got a list here of every number one hit in every one of those years, Eddie.” Rosalie said.

“So at the end of the hour, we invite our listeners to phone in and,” Campbell put on a cheesy American accent, “pit their wits against the master of hits, Doctor Boogie!”

“Who’s Doctor Boogie?” Eddie asked.

“You! That’s the angle!” Campbell said, enthusiastically, “So, if they can ask a question about any of the hits we’ve played that you cannae answer, they win a major prize.”

“He’s a genius.” Rosalie said.

“Yeah, he is.” Y/N pecked Campbell on the cheek.

“Campbell, this is a recording we’re doing. The only folk who are gonna be listening are Paula and a couple of bored guys on their dinner break.”

“Then we’ll get them to phone in.” Campbell said.

“What’s the major prize?” Eddie asked.

“We just kid on there’s a prize. So it can be anything we want! A trip to Graceland by time machine to meet Elvis.”

“Tardis.” Y/N said.

“Lunch with the Archbishop of Canterbury. I don’t have to conform to the vagaries of time and space. I’m a loony, for God’s sake! Look, a full moon!” He unwrapped his arm from his girlfriend and leapt to the window and imitated the howl of a wolf.

“Get back in here, Doctor Who.” Y/N said, pulling him back in. “You know you do look Gallifreyan.”

“Thought you wanted to keep quiet about that.” Eddie said, referring to Campbell’s pride on being a loony.

“They’re no gonnae do to me what they did to Fergus, Eddie. Nobody’s gonna find me in a heap on the pavement. I’m gonna flaunt it. I’m gonna exploit it for all it’s worth. Because we are loonies and we are proud!”

He started to chant as he exited with Rosalie and Y/N following and chanting along with him, “We are loonies and we are proud! We are loonies and we are proud!”

Then Y/N spotted Rosalie’s social worker down the hall through the doors, “Rosalie, get back in!” Y/N said, backtracking so fast her boots squeaked against the floor. Social worker! Quick! Social worker!”

The three of them ran back into the radio station and helped hide Rosalie in the cupboard, taking the boxes out.

“I shouldn’t have tidied the boxes!” Rosalie stressed before they got the boxes out and Rosalie crawled inside the cupboard and Campbell and Y/N closed the doors.

“Act casual!” Y/N said and then Campbell pulled her into his chest and kissed her slowly, gently, and passionately.

Eddie rolled his eyes, though this was accurate with Campbell being outgoing and deeply affectionate to the antisocial and detached Y/N. They some how helped each other. Campbell helped Y/N heal, be more social, and begin to trust again and Y/N helped calm Campbell down and helped him focus on being in the moment… as long as that moment was him being with her and looking at her like she was his whole universe.

Isabel then entered with Stuart and the social worker.

“Ahem.” Isabel said, politely as Campbell made no move to part from Y/N.

“Break it up, you two.” Stuart said, harshly and was about to physically break them apart when Isabel stopped him and wisely Y/N broke the kiss.

Campbell, licking his lips slightly as Y/N fidgeted with her semicolon open bracelet that Campbell had given her a few days ago for their three-month anniversary.

“Have you seen Rosalie? The social worker’s here.” Isabel asked.

Campbell briefly puckered his lips out in an innocent fashion as he shook his head, “She’s no been in tonight.”

“Haven’t seen her.” Y/N lied, looking at them.

“She came in at half past seven; I saw her.” Stuart said, sharply.

“Well, she’s not here now.” Campbell said pointedly.

“Did you not notice?” Y/N snarked, innocently, looking around the rather small space and giving Stuart a pitying look.

“Are you calling me a liar?” Stuart challenged.

“No, Stuart, I’m calling you stupid!” Campbell shot back.

“That’s an understatement.” Y/N said.

“Eddie, what are those boxes doing out?” Isabel asked, referring to the boxes they had taken out.

“Ehm,” Eddie said, hesitantly, “Campbell, Y/N, and I have been doing some organizing.”  Campbell and Y/N nodded.

“Well, could you put them back in the cupboard now? They could be a fire hazard.” Isabel asked.

“Uh… we’re still working with them.

“Nurse said tae put them back in the cupboard!” Stuart demanded.

“It’s all right, Stuart.” Isabel tried to push him back but he moved forth towards the boxes.

But Campbell moved in front of Stuart and defiantly said, “But we’re still working with them. How low an IQ do you need for your job?” He pushed Stuart in the chest

Stuart then seized Campbell, shouting, “I’ll break you like a matchstick—!”

Isabel, Eddie, and Y/N tried to wrestle them apart until Y/N voice thundered above the rest.

“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH HIM!” Y/N roared, grabbing Stuart’s arm and then kneeing him in the stomach, kung fu-style.

“OOF!” He stumbled back as Isabel pushed him back as Eddie pulled Y/N back before she committed her third act of physical assault.

“All right! No one’s going to break anyone else like a match!” Isabel said and then went to the cupboard where Rosalie was hiding and knocked, “Rosalie? Do you want to come out now before we end up with blood all over the floor?

Rosalie conceded and emerged from the cupboard as Campbell took Y/N from Eddie, glaring at Stuart.

“Rosalie, this is Linda Foster, the psychiatric social worker; she’d like to have a word.” Isabel introduced.

Rosalie nodded without enthusiasm and left with the social worker, Isabel, and Stuart.

–

At night, Campbell was on Y/n’s bed and was strumming his guitar before stopping as he noticed Y/N starting to get tired.

“Hey, come here.” He pulled her into his chest and pulled the blanket over the both of them. It was quiet as he pondered something, ““Where’d you learn to do that? What you did to Stuart?”

“After EX/N, I took some classes.” She mumbled and he pulled her closer against him.

“Come with me to Radio Scotland. I want you there. Please.”

Y/N looked up at him and nodded before snuggling into his neck. “Mmm-hmm.”

Soon he felt her breathing get deeper and slower.

“Y/N? Y/N?” He said, softly but nothing. “I love you.” He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes to sleep.

–

Y/N stood with Campbell stacking a box of Uncle Ben’s rice, an alarm clock, a box of beans, and a fire extinguisher on the mixing desk while Eddie was in the bathroom.

Then Eddie came back and Y/N turned to Campbell, “Good luck.” She smiled and kissed his cheek before turning but Campbell pulled her back for a loving and soft kiss. He broke the kiss and she turned to leave, entering the control room with Paula as Paula’s assistant handed her a cup of hot chocolate like she asked.

“Thank you, um, what was it?”

“Um, River.” He said in an American accent.

“River, thank you.” She said and sat next to Paula.

Paula pushed the button and spoke into the microphone to them, “You ready, boys?”

Campbell looked at her and nodded, grinning before his eyes going to River, making his smile falter and his eyes narrow but he forced himself to brush it off.

“Is it me or does Eddie look like he died ten minutes ago?” Y/N asked in a rather sardonic tone.

“Eddie, you okay?”

Eddie turned to look at them, “Aye, yeah.”

“Then let’s do it. Four, three, two, one, go.” Paula said.

Campbell started the intro in a confident voice, “This is Campbell Bain and this is my alarm clock. It’s also a clue. Doctor Boogie has just ten seconds to guess our first number one hit. The year is nineteen-fifty-six.”  He set off the alarm clock.

–

When they got back to Saint Jude’s hospital, Campbell and Eddie sang loudly as they entered.

“WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! BECAUSE WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! ‘CAUSE WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!” They passed Francine and Rosalie, “OF THE WORLD!”

“You got on okay, I take it?”  Francine asked.

“Okay?! We practically set fire to the place!” Campbell exclaimed.

“Which explains the fire extinguisher.”

“And you’ll never believe what happened.”

“They sectioned the both of youse.” Rosalie teased and laughed.

“Sectioned? You don’t section a genius! You say,” Then he imitated Paula, ‘You did really well.’ You say, ‘Come see me on Thursday, Eddie.’ Because you know what I learned today? That the only difference between lunacy and genius is timing! Set off a fire extinguisher in a shrink’s office and he’ll have you locked up. Do it in front of an audience and it’s high farce!” He grabbed Rosalie’s notebook. “It’s time to start making lists full of the great things you’re going to do, Rosalie. Instead of, ‘twelve bottles of disinfectant spray’, put” He punched his fist in the air, ‘climb the highest mountain’! Instead of ‘large box of scourers’, put ‘cross the deepest ocean’! Instead of ‘one case of Dettol’.” He had kept looking down to read what she had written before pausing to ask in an incredulous tone, “—what the hell are you planning here, Rosalie?”

“It’s just my discharge.” Rosalie said.

Campbell’s smile faded and he exchanged looks with Eddie, Y/N, and Francine.

“When?” Eddie asked.

“Friday. They’ve found me a place in a bed and breakfast.” Rosalie said with false brightness.

“What about the supported accommodation?” Francine asked.

“I’m still on the waiting list.” Rosalie said and then she got a reminiscing look in her eyes.“There used to be this bed and breakfast in Bundoran, where Jim and me used to take Robbie every summer. It was all whitewashed, with wee brass ornaments in the hallway. I don’t suppose this place’ll be like that, though.”

“You’ll still be station manager. You know that.” Eddie told her.

“Aye. It’s nice to belong somewhere.” Rosalie said, trying not to cry. and then she looked at Y/N, “Oh, and Y/N, Isabel said there was someone here for you.”

“Oh. O-okay.” Y/N stuttered and she looked at Campbell who nodded at the door like, go. We got this.

Y/N walked down the hall before Stuart grabbed her arm, “You, loony. Come with me.” He jerked her along with him and pushed her into Isabel’s office.

“Ah, Y/N. I would like to speak to you about your section.”

–

On Thursday, Campbell was badgering Eddie so he turned to him and said, “I told you, I’m just going to go and find out what they thought of the pilot.”

“But what if they make us an offer on the spot?” Campbell asked.

“Then I’ll take it on the spot!”

“On what terms? We’ve gotta be clear on this!”

“Aye, I’ve written it all down for you, so I have.” Rosalie agreed.

“I’ve got to go!” Eddie exclaimed and walked down the hall with them following, Y/N staying silent.

“Number one: what exactly is our offer? Number two: will there be a trial period?” Rosalie said.

“I’m telling you, Campbell, there’s no gonna be an offer at this meeting.” Eddie sighed.

“Number three, if so, for how long?” Rosalie continued.

“And do you have to wear that jacket?” Campbell complained.

“What’s wrong with it?” Eddie asked.

“Number four, if there is a trial period, will the contract be non-exclusive during that time?

“It makes you look like a double-glazing salesman!” Campbell answered.

“Number five, what will the format of the show be?”

“This is gonna be it, Eddie—”

“Look, is nobody listening to me? I took the trouble to make this list and I don’t want you going out of here without it, all right?” Rosalie complained.

Eddie then grabbed the list out of Rosalie’s hands, “I’ll treasure it always.” He kissed the paper, “See you tonight.” Then he left.

Campbell smiled, he looked at Rosalie and then Y/N, raking a hand through his hair before seeing the blank look on Y/N’s face.

“You alright? You’ve been quiet all morning.”

“I have to make a phone call.” She said and turned around towards the phones but Isabel stopped her.

“Y/N, it’s time for your appointment.”

–

“Y/N L/N.” A man’s voice called thirty minutes later.

Y/N got up and walked towards the voice, “Hello, I’m Doctor Cairns.” He held out his hand to shake her and she hesitantly did so before going to sit down as he went to the other side of the desk.

“How long have you been with us? Fifteen weeks?”

“About so yes.”

“And until about two weeks ago, you finally told the therapists why you went silent. Because your ex-boyfriend…”

“Boyfriend’s a bit of a reach. More I was constantly taken advantage of and blackmailed into being silent.” She said, bluntly.

“Y-yes. But you’ve been talking for over two months now and I hear you’ve been dating another patient, the manic depressive, Campbell Bain in that time.”

“Yes.“

"And your… your ex was recently imprisoned and he’s being sent back to (H/T/N) to be tried.”

“Yes, that is correct.” She nodded, staring determinedly at her semicolon bracelet.

“We’ve decided that you’re ready to go back in the outside world.” Y/N didn’t react, her heart just jumped into her throat. “Unfortunately, your parents… they don’t want you to move back in with them.”

“Because their daughter was raped by a family friend’s son who they let babysit her and they had publically defended him?” Y/N smiled with sardonicism. “Yeah, I expected that.”

“Something along those lines. But we can set up living accommodations with you somewhere else.” Cairns said. “Perhaps one in Glasgow.

“I have some family money that I became eligible to use when I turned eighteen. Maybe I could buy a house.”

“The thing is, I would prefer you to live with someone else in case there’s an incident.”

“An incident in which I punch someone.”

“You hospitalized two people.”

“Doctor Hollis killed Fergus!” She snapped and leaned back into her chair. “I have some cousins living in Edinburgh, one of them knew what had happened, I could ask her.”

–

“Babe, are you okay? You’ve been quiet all day.” Campbell asked that night. “Is it because Rosalie’s being discharged tomorrow.”

“I’m being discharged.” She said, quietly and prepared to watch his reactions but they were anything but subtle.

He dropped his guitar with a series of discord notes as his jaw dropped too.

“You’re… you’re leaving? Back to H/T/N?” He sounded heartbroken.

“Yes. Um… this week. They decided since I had started talking and because EX/N was sent back to H/T/N, so there’s no reason for me to be scared anymore. Because I’m better. You made me better, Campbell.”

“But I don’t want you to go…” His voice trembled.

“Here’s the thing. Sit down.” She patted her bed but he didn’t move. “My parents don’t want me back in H/T/N. They don’t want to be judged as the parents who let their friend’s son rape and blackmail their daughter.” He furrowed his eyebrows out of judgement for her parents and confusion and wonder for where she was going with this as he sat down on the bed next to her. “And when I turned eighteen, I was eligible to some family money and I called my cousin and she agreed to come down and transfer to Glasgow University and we could share a house. So I could be close to you… and-and the radio station.”

“You-you’d do that for me?” He asked, uncharacteristically shyly.

“Yeah. I mean, I know it’s only been two months but I like you. Unless you don’t… if you think that’s too much…”

He quieted her with a kiss, “I’d love it. I don’t want to lose you. We have passes tomorrow, we can go look at houses together after Rosalie leaves.”

She smiled and he kissed her sweetly, “Just don’t leave me.” He said, pulling back, “Before you… no girl would even look at me twice, and barely once. But then I met this impossibly shy and beautifully broken girl. And I knew she was just the kindest soul because I would talk constantly and she would listen. Not hear me, but actually listen. And it was the best day of my life. Because that girl was you.”

–

The next morning, Campbell and Y/N were helping Rosalie make sure she had everything, reading off her list.

“Dettol.” Campbell read.

“Check.” Y/N confirmed.

“Scourers.”

“Check.”

“Toilet bleach.”

“What does toilet bleach look like?” Y/N asked.

Campbell reached for pick it up from beside the suitcase when Rosalie appeared and snapped sternly, “Don’t touch it! I’ll get it. Check.”

“Toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, and hairbrush.” Campbell finished.

“Check, check, check, check.” She started to close the suitcase as Campbell tossed the notebook into the case, “Well. Suppose this is cheerio.”

Then she held out her hand to Francine who then shook it, then she did the same to Campbell, Y/N, and Eddie.

“Good luck, huh?” Eddie asked.

“Now, I want youse to notice that I shook hands with you lot without the use of major tranquilizers, which just goes to show how well I am these days.”

“Come on. I’m going tae work. I’ll give you a lift in.” Eddie said and he left with Rosalie.

Isabel came in and said, “Y/N, your cousin’s here.”

“Great, let’s go!” Campbell grabbed Y/N’s hand and pulled her along.

–

“Well. That place was depressing.” C/N declared, driving away from the place the obvious drug dealer had up for rent.

“I liked that first house. The blue one with the two rooms.” Campbell said, “It was only like a fifteen-minute drive from the hospital.”

“Yeah, I did too but could we stop at the first spot on the list.”

“Oh, Y/N even with our family money, that’s a bit pricey.”

“I-I know but it might be within our price limit someday.”

C/N drove them to a house—well, it was more of a mansion. A rather quirky mansion.

“This cannot be within your price limit.” Campbell shook his head, “Unless are you rich?”

“I, uh, actually found this house while I was researching real estate a few weeks into our relationship. For when you become a famous DJ and if we make it.”

Campbell looked at her, “We? As in you and me as a couple?”

“I know that’s freaky as we’ve been dating two months and I’ve hospitalized two people and my ex harassed you. And I’m probably messing it up now but…”

“Hey.” Campbell said, taking her hand, “I love it. I mean you’ve met me right, I’m a total loon. I bugged you for a month and a half until you talked to me.”

–

Eddie entered the studio later where he had been heatedly discussing something with Y/N when he spotted Eddie approaching the studio and pushed him into the studio,  “Eddie! Jesus! Where have you been?”

“Working. What’s up?”

“How did you no tell me about this? How’d you not warn me?” Campbell demanded.

“About what?”

“Paula has been on the phone to me today.”

“Oh.” Eddie said,

Campbell started to pace back and forth, while gesturing, “She seemed to think I knew all about it. ‘Aye,’ I said, ‘He told me all about your meeting.’ But it seems there was a few wee details you left out.” He put his hands on his hips.

“I’m sorry. I—” Eddie stammered.

“I know what you thought. You thought, I’d just get agitated. I’m a manic-depressive, so how no?”

“That’s not what I thought.” Eddie defended himself.

“But did you never stop to consider that one day a fish bone might get stuck in the throat of history, and that we’d be standing here, like we are now, at the door of destiny, and totally unprepared for it?

“What are you talking about?” Eddie asked.

“The fish bone? The one that got stuck in David Thompson’s throat?” Campbell clarified.

“Who?”

“Their Sunday afternoon DJ! He got a fish bone stuck in his throat last night, was rushed to Casualty, and they’ve asked us to take his Gold Show! Today!” Campbell said, excitedly.

Eddie swallowed nervously, “…I’m no ready.”

“Well neither am I, but we’re gonna have to go for it!” Campbell said, his voice squeaking with excitement.

“No, no, I’m really no ready!” Eddie refused.

“Paula said we could use David’s running order, but if we leave now, we can choose some stuff ourselves.” Campbell said.

“I’m no ready.

“She said she’ll be there to take us through everything. And you don’t have to worry about here; Francine’s gonna taking our show straight off the air. Y/N’s coming with us, of course.”

“I’m no ready, Campbell!”

“Eddie, you’ve been waiting for this moment most of your life. When exactly did you think you’d be ready? Now let’s go!” Campbell exclaimed and grabbed his jacket and then Y/N’s hand and they rushed out of the station.

Campbell left Y/N to thrust records into Eddie’s arms.

“Eddie! Come on!” Campbell complained.

–

Campbell looked up at Y/N through the glass, seeing her give her an encouraging smile that melted his insides.

He pushed the fader up and spoke with his usual insane enthusiasm, “Kicking off the Gold Show and standing in for David Thompson is me, Campbell Bain, and Doctor Boogie, professor of pop, soul, and rock and roll! In today’s competition we invite you to pit your wits against the master of hits himself!

"If you can ask me any verifiable question on any of the titles that we play today that I cannae answer, you win… the grand prize!” Eddie said.

“What is the grand prize, you ask? I am holding in my hand a rare copy of ‘Mandolins in the Moonlight’ by Perry Como, from nineteen-fifty -eight. And unless you can stump Doctor Boogie,” Then he imitated a scary gravelly voice, “we’re actually going to play it! How about it, Gold-Diggers? Just phone 041-357-9719 to try and stop me!”

He put on Don’t Play That Song For Me (You Lied) by Aretha Franklin and started the challenge.

“Uh, no, caller, I’m afraid Jim Morrison couldnae have written Bright Side of the Road—” Eddie told the caller.

“Because he was dead at the time, right, Doctor Boogie?” Campbell finished.

“Aye, a definite liability, but it did give Van Morrison a chance to write it instead.” Eddie added.

At another caller called with something and Campbell responded with,“Well, unless you can prove that Wilson Pickett had a boa constrictor called Hugo, I’m gonna have to disqualify that!”

Another caller asked about an Elvis song and Eddie said, “And it’s become one of the most covered songs in rock 'n’ roll since Elvis’ death.” Eddie said and apparently the caller questioned Elvis’ death because Eddie then said as Paula laughed while on the phone and Y/N laughed along with her, “Aye! 1977! It was in all the papers!”

He looked at Campbell who made an incredulous face to both Eddie and Y/N.

At some point, Eddie looked at the clock and said, “And it’s 3:47—

“Still thirteen minutes left to try and stump Doctor Boogie,” Campbell declared and put on the gravely voice again, “if you cannn!”

Y/N looked at Paula who seemed to be making quite a few phone calls and she turned to tugged on River’s vest and said something to him while nodding at Campbell and Eddie and then to Paula.

Thirteen minutes later in which both River and Y/N spoke to Paula which Eddie kept glancing nervously at, before Paula gave Campbell and Eddie a cut-off signal.

–

They had Eddie drive them back as Campbell kept eyeing Y/N suspiciously after seeing how she was with River and couldn’t help but be jealous.

“So, Y/N… getting cozy with the cute assistant.”

She looked at him as he preteneded not to care.

“River?”

“Oh, he has a name?” He grumbled.

“I’m just meeting him for lunch tomorrow…”

Campbell turned to her, now getting a bit agitated and definitely jealous, “You’re going on a date with him.”

“No. We’re going to talk about you two. They wanted an opinion by someone that wasn’t either of you but close enough to you two to get the full scoop.” Y/N said, “Besides he has a girlfriend. She’s planning on being true crime radio dramatist. She’s going to have her own station where she talks about true crimes.”

“Oh.” Campbell seemed a lot happier by now as Eddie turned up the radio to drown them out.

It was awkward before Campbell said loudly, “So, Y/N’s being discharged this week!”

The brakes screeched as Eddie stopped the car in shock.

–

Once they reentered Saint Jude’s, they were greeted with applause and cheers.

“Friends, loonies: as Neil Armstrong said on that fateful day when he first put his foot on the moon…” He announced and then shouted, “WE ARE LOONIES, AND WE ARE PROUD!”

The crowd and Y/N chanted along with Campbell, “We are loonies, and we are proud!”

Y/N spotted Stuart who didn’t try to restrain anyone and that’s when she realized something was wrong. Stuart wasn’t being violent towards innocent mental health patients.

The door opened and a Scottish Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (or SSPCA) officer entered. Y/N’s smile fell.

Francine’s kittens.

Francine spotted it too and cried out, “NOOO!”

She tried to stop him but Stuart restrained her as she screamed and the chanting stopped.

“NO! LEAVE THEM ALONE! STOP! YOU CAN’T TAKE THEM! NO! YOU CANNAE TAKE THEM!” Francine screamed while Y/N picked the lock to Stuart’s office.

Eddie tried to help her but some of the patients held him back, “Easy, easy!”

The SSPCA officer carried the kittens out in a cage as Y/N emerged from Stuart’s office with a belt—one for particularly violent patients that he hasn’t used as much as he thought he would. Not even close.

Y/N whipped Stuart’s back, making him shout in pain and release Francine as Campbell grabbed Y/N’s hand and pulled her away from Stuart before he realized what it was her who had done it as she dropped the belt.

Francine didn’t get far before Stuart grabbed her again.

"Let her go, will ya!” Eddie shouted, “Let her go!”

Campbell’s pride and happiness had faded into terrified worry.

Eddie managed to push Stuart off of Francine and onto the ground, but then he got up and grabbed Eddie by the lapels and snarled out, “I’ve waited ages to do this!” Then he headbutted Eddie in the face, cracking his nose, Eddie collapsed, smearing blood on the doorframe as Francine kept screaming.

Y/N was by Eddie’s side as Isabel was the only other person to show sympathy, asking gently, “Do you want me to do something for that?”

“Do you no realize what you’ve done?” Eddie demanded before shouting, “DOES NAEBODY REALIZE WHAT THEY’VE DONE?!”

“What are you going to do about that, princess?” Stuart sneered at Y/N as she calmly examined Eddie and the patients drifted away.

She looked at him. He wanted her to be violent so her section would be renewed so he could torture her longer. But she didn’t.

She stood up with fury in her eyes, it was hard to tell whether it was more ice-cold or fiery hot.

“You’re pathetic. You’re not helping, you don’t try to help. All you do and every ‘sane’ person does is crush our hopes and dreams by destroying the very things that help us heal. You give us no chance to show that we’ve gotten better and declare us as violent when you’re the violent one. I only hurt people who hurt people I love. Hollis only saw Fergus as a guinea pig and he fucking died because of it. You took those kittens from Francine because they made her happy. They started to heal what was broken unlike you because you will never be able to heal what has been broken in you. Because you don’t care. You don’t care for the patients and you ignore our needs and feelings and are completely and utterly blind to our skills.”

“Skills?” Stuart scoffed like it was the most ludicrous thing he had ever heard, “What skills?”

“Remember Campbell’s first broadcast? You doubted that Fergus could fix the mixer. What was it you said? ‘He couldn’t get his brain going again’? And it turns out he had a master’s degree and was a genius. Because he was a loony, you assumed he was stupid. But he wasn’t you’re the one who can’t get his brain working. You shouldn’t be restraining loonies, you should be locked up in your own solitary room in a straightjacket.”

Chapter Text

“The amount of love I have for you will never be understood by others. From the way you touch me, to the look in your eyes. Through all these years you managed to captivate my heart. For this my soul will forever be your home. Mistakes happen, this I know. But the passion we both share erases the worst. Take my hand and come with me. Follow me to this path we both created. It may be unknown to most, but it sure is eternal for us.”

Link to Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors" Lyric Video

Campbell was trying to cheer up Francine with jokes by Y/N’s next to last day, “Okay, how about this one. A group of loonies go out on a day trip, and on the way back, they stop at a pub for a drink.”

“I think that’s enough, Campbell, huh?” Eddie tried but Campbell ignored him.

“One of the loonies comes running up to the nurse saying, ‘Nurse, nurse, that barmaid smiled at me!’ So the nurse says, 'Well, smile back.’ So the loony goes away, but he’s back five minutes later, saying 'Nurse, nurse, that barmaid winked at me!’ So the nurse says, 'Well, wink back.’ So he’s away again, but he’s back ten minutes later saying ‘Nurse, nurse, that barmaid. she showed me her bosoms.’ So the nurse says, 'Well, show her your nuts!’ So he’s away again, straight up to the barmaid, and goes—” He made moose antlers on his head with his hands and screaming goofily in Francine’s face and wheezed with laughter but no one else did. “Do you not get it? The nurse says, 'Show her you’re nuts’, and he does!”

Still Francine had no reaction.

“All right, Campbell.” Eddie said, quietly and Campbell deflated. Then Eddie suggested, “Why don’t you help Y/N pack for tomorrow?”

Campbell nodded and walked to his girlfriend’s room.

“Have they found my kittens yet?” Francine asked.

“Francine, I told you. They were sick.” Eddie told her.

–

Y/N had been called to more lunch meetings with both River and Paula but she refused to tell Campbell what they discussed and since she as his girlfriend could easily distract him with kisses, though he had been a bit more clingy than usual, what with Y/N being discharged and his optimism that he would get a big DJ job, he feared whether or not they’d last but he never questioned the unconfessed love he had for her.

That evening, Eddie still wasn’t there so Campbell and Y/N took over the show. Eddie’s show.

“Well, that’s about all we have time for tonight; don’t forget to tune in tomorrow night for Campbell Bain’s Looney Tunes Show!” He said and played the Looney Tunes jingle. Then Eddie entered, Campbell turned to him, taking his headphones off, “Eddie! Where the hell have you been?”

“Sorry I’m late.” Eddie mumbled.

“Late?” Campbell scoffed, “You’ve missed the whole bloody show!”

“I’ve been working. I don’t have to catch every one of your shows fae start to finish, do I?”

Campbell and Y/N glared pointedly at Eddie and the soon to be discharged answered, “It was your show.” As Campbell bitterly tossed his headphones on the desk.

“…It was?” Eddie asked.

Campbell, Rosalie, and Y/N gave him pointed looks.

“Look, I’m sorry. I had a few bevvies; didnae want to drive.” Eddie apologized.

“‘A couple of bevvies’?” Campbell scoffed with a disbelieving chuckle and a glance at his girlfriend, “You look like you’ve been on a three-day binge!”

“Look, Campbell! I’m a salesman. That’s what I get paid for. I don’t get paid for coming here.” Eddie argued.

“Yeah, now that Francine’s been in a psychogenic coma of grief.” Y/N said, sharply.

Eddie glared at her, pointedly.

“Well, I don’t think that’s a very professional attitude.” Campbell said, casually, checking his fingernails.

“What do I need a professional attitude for?” Eddie asked, confused.

“For when you go to lunch with Paula Kinghorn.” Campbell said and grinned cheekily at Eddie, “She’s been trying to get in touch with you for days!”

“Jesus.”

“I would’ve informed you if you’d been here the past week.” Y/N said.

Campbell got up and went to Eddie, excitedly, “Lunch, Eddie, lunch! And then she said,” He put his imitation of Paulaagain, “‘I probably shouldn’t be saying this yet, but I think I’m gonna have good news for ya’.”

“I cannae. You go, Campbell.”

“He can’t.” Y/N said.

“Then you go.” Eddie told her.

“She’s had lunch with me three times. She specifically said she wanted to have lunch with you.” Y/N said.

“I cannae do it.”

“How no?!” Campbell exclaimed, his octaves going up.

“I’ve been waiting for this all my life. If I went intae lunch and came out with nothing, I don’t know what I’d do.” Eddie said, clearly in shock.

“You’ll not come out with nothing.” Campbell reassured him.

Aye. Just make sure she pays for lunch.” Rosalie said.

“And trust me, I’ve had lunch her thrice and her assistant six times.”

“Lunch.” Eddie  mumbled.

Campbell turned to his girlfriend, “You’ve gone out with the assistant six times?”

–

“Campbell…” Y/N groaned that night, “Please, let me get dressed into my pajamas.”

“This is the last night for quite a while I’ll get to spend the night with you.” Campbell whined with his arms around her, pulling her flush against him with her back against his chest.

“Campbell, we’ll be fine. C/N moved in four days ago, she has the essentials unpacked, I’m a fifteen minute drive away. Five if you’re the one driving. It’ll be fine. I’ll visit you every day and by the time you get discharged you’ll have made a name for yourself and you won’t be forced to move to Perth.”

“Don’t go snogging any other boys?” He asked.

She chuckled, “I promise. And I’ve taken self-defense classes now so if another EX/N comes to me, I’ll destroy them.”

“Y/N… I… I…” He felt himself freeze from the inside so he just kissed her.

–

The next day, Campbell was helping Y/N pack as she was leaving after his show when they heard Eddie’s voice shout, “THIS IS MY RADIO STATION!”

They looked at each other and ran out towards the station as they saw Eddie get shoved out of the radio station.

“Eddie?” Campbell asked as they pushed through the doors.

“Bastards.” Eddie murmured.

“Eddie?!”

“Bastards!” Eddie screamed and the couple saw a man in the station.

“Who’s he?” Campbell asked.

Eddie passed them as he stormed out, “I’m not having this. I’M NOT HAVING IT!

Y/N went to the door and banged on it but the man gave her a gesture that was rather rude.

“Okay.” She said, irritated and pulled a bobby pin she stole from her cousin out and started to pick the lock before slamming it open.

“Y/N, no…”

–

“I’m just saying you didn’t have to hit him.” Campbell told his girlfriend, some time later as they looked through the records.

“I didn’t hit him. I was… gesturing for emphasis.” She said.

“Well, you gestured him right in the face.” Campbell said but he was smiling at her. He leaned towards her and gave her a kiss, still grinning. She pulled back and he cupped her cheek, deepening the kiss.

“Oh, you beautiful doll, you great big beautiful doll…” Rosalie sang when she came in.

The couple broke apart and looked at her in surprise to see her with her hair curled and make up on her face.

“So. What do you think?“ She asked.

"I’m speechless!” Campbell excliamed.

“I have had a complete makeover. Sylvia, in the flat next to mine, used to be a beautician. I’m living in a posh neighborhood now, so I thought I should make the effort.”

“Well, are you not worried about chemicals and that?” Y/N asked.

“Sylvia is an obsessive-compulsive as well!” Rosalie said and the couple laughed, breathlessly at this. “If it’s all right with her, then it’s all right with me. She is a genius, so she is.”

“What have you got in the trolley?” Campbell asked, referring to the cart Rosalie was wheeling as he sat down, pulling Y/N down to sit in his lap.

“My shopping. Just a few things from the wee shop down the road. Take 'em home with me the night.”

“Have you not got shops in your new neighborhood?” Y/N frowned.

“Oh, aye.”

“But then would it not make sense to do your shopping in the local shops?” Campbell asked.

“Aye…” Rosalie sighed, “but they won’t serve me.”

“What?!” Campbell and Y/N asked.

“They won’t serve anybody from Hill Crest. Not the paper shop. Not the late night shop. Even the local GP’s a bit frosty on account of him being chairman of the residents’ committee for getting our planning commission reviewed.”

Campbell sighed and said, “Ye cannae stand for that, Rosalie. Ye’ve got'ae tell them:” He put on his bad American accent again, “You’re not gonna take any more o’ dis crapola.”

“What American films are you watching?” Y/N laughed and tried her (best) American accent, “You’re not gonna take any more of this crap.”

“Aye! That’s what I told the man in the paper shop. But he told me to bugger off! He swore at me, Campbell, which I think was uncalled for.”

“You going to ask them to move you, then?” Y/N asked.

“Move me?! You’re joking! I’ve got a bath and toilet in the same wee room, and a washing machine on the premises, and—a microwave! Do either of you know what a microwave is?” Campbell was about to speak when she cut him off, “You put your dinner in, and them microwaves make the wee molecules jiggle up and down. It’s a bit like ECT.”

Then Eddie entered, rather numbly, “Eddie! What do you think?” Rosalie approached him, “Jim said I looked like a film star. One that had been in the Betty Ford clinic once too often, but a film star!”

“You look very nice.” Eddie said, flatly and continued passed Rosalie and then the couple.

“What’s up with him?” Rosalie asked.

Eddie turned around to break the news to the three, “They’re closing us down.”

Campbell and Y/N spoke in unison.

“How?!” Campbell gasped.

“What!?” Y/N said, getting to her feet.

“To turn this place into a treatment room. That’s how the workman was in here. We’ve got a week to pack up and be out of here.” Eddie explained.

“You mean I’ll not be station manager anymore?” Rosalie asked, softly.

“…No.”

Campbell got up and got in Eddie’s face. “What are you talking about? We’re not going to lie down and play dead over this, are we? We’ve built something here, Eddie! When I go round the wards collecting requests, I’m a celebrity! And you know how? Because we give folks a voice! And now the hospital is telling us to shut up?!”

“Well, what can we do?

“We can declare UDI! We can turn ourselves into an independent charity, like most hospital radio stations in the country. Demand a site, and then run the station the way we want to! The only thing stopping us is lack of dosh.”

“That’s also the only thing stopping me paying my milk bill.” Rosalie said.

“So we stage a fundraiser like we did before. Ehh… I’ve got it! A radiothon!”

“You mean like a telethon without any pictures.” Y/N asked.

“Aye.” Campbell said, “We’ll broadcast from ten in the morning till ten at night, every day till we raise the dosh. We’ll contact mental health charities, we’ll enlist celebrity DJs, we’ll ensure we get coverage in every newspaper in Glasgow.”

“Campbell, if my name appears in the papers again, I’m out of my job.” Eddie argued.

“Who cares. You’re gonna go to lunch with Paula on Monday. You’ll have another job.”

“We don’t know that, Campbell!” Eddie shouted.

“She said she was going to have good news! Have some faith, Eddie! This is our moment!” Campbell encouraged.

Eddie: Then how do we need to save the station?” Eddie retorted.

Campbell’s smile fell and disappointment was etched over his face, he looked back at Rosalie and Y/N and then back at Eddie and he spoke a disappointed tone, “The station isn’t just you and me, Eddie.”

“I cannae come in with you, Campbell.”

“…Aye…” Campbell stepped away from him Well. You with me, Rosalie?

“Aye, I’m with ya.”

Campbell turned to Y/N, “Y/N?”

“Of course. Just because I’m being discharged doesn’t mean I won’t be here to support you.”

He broke his loving gaze from his girlfriend to Eddie, giving him a look of disappointment and a little betrayal.

“Then we’ll do it ourselves, Eddie. And I’ll talk to Francine as well.”  Campbell seemed to now be having a hard time looking at Eddie.

Eddie looked at Campbell for a long time before wishing him, “…Good luck.”

He exited, walking between Campbell, Y/N, and Rosalie. Campbell refused to look at him, shoving his hands in his pockets before Y/N got on her tip-toes and hugged him, he wrapped his arms around her.

–

“Do you want to talk about it?” Y/N asked Campbell.

“No. I don’t want spend our last night together talking about Eddie.” He sighed, “Come here.” He kissed her, desperately but she pulled back, feeling wetness on his face and saw him trying not to cry. He rested his against her shoulder, sniffling.

“Oh, Campbell. I’m only going to be fifteen minutes away,”

“It’s not fair. Maybe if we could keep having nights like this. I like being there to help you stave off the nightmares. I like waking up from a memory of my dad’s lectures and knowing that you’re there with me lifts me higher than ever before. I like pretending like we’re not just a couple of teenagers in their first… well, healthy relationship. I like you… a lot. I’ve never had anyone who wanted to be around me as much as you do.”

“I like you too.” She dug her fingers into his light auburn hair, “for so long I thought I was broken. EX/N convinced me that I was broken. That I was unlovable, that I was alone in the darkness and I expected to spend the rest of my life in the darkness as more darkness, but then I met you and you shine brighter than the sun in summer.”

“You’re not broken.” He said and he kissed her passionately.

–

As Y/N finished packing up, Campbell hugged her from behind with his face snuggled into the crock of her neck with the occasional kiss to it. She chuckled and turned in his embrace, he immediately started to kiss her slowly.

“Campbell… I’ll be back in… like an hour.” She said in between his kisses.

“Mmm. Too long.” He shook his head.

“I think we’re moving from affectionate young love to clingy.”

“Mmm. I don’t care.”

“Y/N…” Came her cousin’s voice, knocking on the frame of the open door. “Uh, car’s ready.”

“Thanks, C/N. Campbell, I have to go. I’ll be back in an hour.” She said and kissed him before leaving the Saint Jude’s Hospital.

–

Three days later…

Y/N sat next to Campbell as he spoke into the microphone, “The time is two forty-five on day three, hour number twenty-nine of the Saint Jude’s Hospital radiothon. In fifteen minutes, we’re going to have another two hours of patients’ party pieces, including Hector, who’ll be doing a selection of his best juggling tricks.” A beat before he added with dry sarcasm, “Well, that should certainly be worth listening to. I’ll be back again at five, so keep sending me your requests and dedications, but most of all, send us your dosh, and rescue our radio!”

He played Rescue Me (I don’t know who sings this. I can’t get a Shazam result off of it.) as Rosalie entered, wearing a bandage wrapped around her head, holding a piece of gauze to her face, over her eye.

“Sorry I’m late.” She told them, Y/n had turned around and her jaw was dropped in shock.

“So you should be! I’ve had…” Campbell started out angry but he cut himself off when saw the bandage and gauze and his eyes widened, “What happened to yeh?

“Ach, Jim came round and we had a… disagreement, but it’s all sorted out now.”

“What!?” Y/N asked, outraged.

“Jim hit yeh?” Campbell asked in concern and some outrage.

“No!” Rosalie said quickly and explained, “Some wee boys came over the fence and one of them started making faces at me through the window, so I went out, and we disagreed about whether he was on my property, and then about whether I was a loony who should be locked up, and then he threw the stone, and we disagreed about whether I was gonna let Jim throttle him or not.”

“The kid threw a stone at yeh?” Campbell asked in disbelief.

“Aye, but I’m from Donegal—when a stone hits your head, it’s the stone that’s in trouble.” Rosalie said.

“Alright, who’s this kid? I’m going to find his parents and beat some sense into them with a bat until they learn to raise their kids right.” Y/N said with complete seriousness.

Then Billy knocked on the open door’s frame

“Hello, Billy.” Y/N said, brightly.

“Hello? I wanted to volunteer to do a party piece?” Billy said.

“Aye! What do you want to do?” Campbell said, positively, picking up the clipboard with all the times on it.

Billy held up a fiddle and proudly said, “I want to play my ukulele.”

“That’s a fiddle.” Y/n said.

“…It is?”

Y/N nudged Campbell, ”But you’re welcome to play it tomorrow at…” Campbell said, he paused to check for an unscheduled time slot for Billy, “quarter past six. Is that okay?”

“Aye, quarter past six!” Billy agreed.

“Don’t forget your fiddle.” Y/N said.

“My what?” Billy asked.

Y/N sighed, giving up and said, “…Your ukulele.”

Billy, grinning, then exited.

“How’s it been going, anyway?” Rosalie asked once Billy was gone.

“Desperate.” Campbell sighed, placing the clipboard down, “It’s been like that,” He jabbed his thumb after Billy, “all day.” He ran his fingers over his face in exasperation, “Loads of volunteers to sing the Postman Pat theme in eleven different languages. But where’s our celebrity DJs? Where’s our star interviews? Where’s the bloody press?”

“It’s kind of last minute, babe.” Y/N said, running her hand through his hair in the way she knew comforted him and he rested his head on her shoulder.

“But the contributions have been pouring in. They’ve been slipping them under the door. And a whole load have just arrived in with the post.” Rosalie said, holding up  a stack of letters.

“How much have we got so far?” Campbell asked, lifting his head up with Y/N’s hand still in his hair.

“Ninety-seven pounds and twenty-seven pence.”

Campbell rolled his eyes and sighed before plopping his head back on Y/N’s shoulder, “We may have to do something drastic soon.”

–

Y/N drove Campbell to Eddie’s the next day and knocked on his apartment door.

Eddie, looking like he had woken up in a ditch that morning, opened the door.

“Eddie…?” Campbell asked. Eddie blinked from the light and nodded into his apartment, silently inviting them inside and opened the door. “You look terrible.”

“Aye… I had a few bevvies last night.”

“Uh… you mind if I make some coffee?” Y/N asked, figuring this is what Eddie needed at the moment.

“Aye, ’s through there. ’s nae milk, though.” He said.

Campbell rolled from the heels to the balls of his feet as Y/N filled a kettle with tap water. “The radiothon’s dying on its feet.”

“Surprise, surprise.” Eddie said, dryly.

“The builders are supposed to be coming in at two o'clock tomorrow. And if we’re not out of there by then, they’re going to throwus out. So we’ve decided to occupy the station.” Campbell told Eddie.

“Campbell… have you finally really lost your mind?” Eddie asked, “Who’s gonna occupy it?”

“Me, Y/N,” Campbell said, glancing behind him and jabbing his thumb at his girlfriend who had placed the kettle down and appeared in the doorframe, “and Rosalie. And you, I hope.”

“Nae chance.” Eddie scoffed as Campbell sat on the radiator.

“Eddie, I’ve thought it all out! It’s the only way to save the station. I’ve told all the newspapers! They’re all going to be there! We are going to turn this into a front page incident.”

“Campbell, I told you, I don’t wantae make the front page. What I wantae dae is keep my job.” Eddie said, loudly.

“Eddie, you built that station from nothing! How can you let that slip away without a fight?” Campbell argued.

“Because I’ve got bills tae pay!” He got up and went through his mail stack of bills, “Electricity bill, gas bill, phone bill—which my dear grandmother managed to run into three figures before going off to Lithuania with every spare penny I had to give. And because, although I have lost more jobs in my life than you have had manic episodes, Campbell, I could make a lot of money now! I could get respect for the first time in my life!” He was now yelling, “You think I’m gonna give that all up for the dubious honor of going down with my ship?!” He walked over to the small balcony.

“Eddie, d'you no see that job’s killing you?” Campbell asked.

“No, Campbell, my dreams!”  Eddie argued before repeating softly, “My dreams are killing me.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes at him but bit back her comeback as Campbell walked to Eddie, leaned against the banister and asked, “So… what did Paula say, then?”

“She said there’s a slot coming up and they want you to take it.”

Campbell’s eyes widened briefly, “You mean they want us to take it.”

“No, they see it as a solo slot.” Eddie clarified.

“And-and they want Campbell to take it? Only Campbell?” Y/N asked.

“I’m no gonna take it!” Campbell said at once.

“Campbell, take it.”

“We’ll keep at it, Eddie, contact some other stations, do another demo—”

“Campbell, do you wantae end up like me?” Eddie asked, looking Campbell in the eyes, and then said, empathetically. “Take. The. Job. For yourself. For Fergus, eh?” He paused, “I promised Paula, I’d make you take it; I don’t wantae break my word. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got tae go tae work.”

Campbell hesitated but left while Y/N stayed, waiting until he was out of earshot.

 “By the way, it’s bullshit, Eddie. Your dreams aren’t killing you. Your boss’ expectations are killing you. Your grandmother’s expectations are killing you. Evelyn MacDonald’s killing you. That asshole from your work is killing you. Everyone who’s ever put you down is killing you because you’re letting them. Like how I let EX/N kill me every day. If you let your dreams go, you’re letting them kill you. You’ll end up like Fergus. Cold and alone in the ground with a rock with a birthday carved into it that I’m pretty sure is wrong and a funeral mostly full of people who before couldn’t even be bothered to remember your name before but come to convince themselves that they weren’t totally absorbed in their own lives to care about someone who’s now gone.”

– 

For What It’s Worth by Buffalo Springfield played as Campbell spoke into the microphone back at the studio. “This is Campbell Bain, and it’s D-Day for Saint Jude’s Hospital Radiothon. That’s ’D’ for Desperation Day, because we are still two thousand, eight hundred and fifty-six pounds and fifty-three pence short of our target. So this is it, loonies. If you’ve got a rich uncle, then today’s the day to remind him of that filing clerk he once took to Blackpool, the name of the cheap hotel where they stayed, and the type of barnyard animal that was involved.” Y/N giggled into her sleeved hand as behind them, Rosalie stopped counting the meager donations and gave him a look like, what the hell? “We are here for you, loonies, and we’re not going anywhere.”

–

Some time later, Campbell’s attention was brought through the window by the flashing of cameras and he spotted some men wearing hard hats.

“Y/N! Rosalie!” He shouted, bringing the girls’ attention to them.

Rosalie slammed the door shut and Y/N bolted the door shut.

“Ha! Now, not even the sonic screwdriver will get through that.” Y/N laughed with a triumph flourish and she gave the man a rude gesture through the window.

Rosalie and Y/N started to stack boxes and anything else they could find and move against the door as Campbell spoke on the radio.

“The loonies may not have taken over the asylum, but they’ve seized control of the radio station. “This is Campbell Bain reporting live from the hospital radio occupation, where we have locked ourselves into the station and have refused to stop broadcasting until our future is assured.”

Y/N spotted Stuart, Isabel, and another assistant enter the hallway from through the window.

“So talk to your friends, your relatives, your voices! Hospital radio must survive!”

Outside the station, the patients cheered.

–

Revolution played on the speakers as the patients danced. Y/N spotted Evelyn MacDonald pushed through the crowd towards Stuart, “Stuart! What are all these patients doing in the corridor? Get them out of here!”

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Evelyn looked to see Y/N looking out through the window, knocking and then she waved with a fake smile before giving her an extremely rude gesture.

“Why are they still broadcasting? Can you not you cut their electricity?” She shouted at a workman and then she went to a reporter, “look, this is NHS property, and I’m going to have to ask you and your friends to leave immediately.”

A few minutes later Campbell announced, “That’s exactly what this is, a revolution! Because even now the forces of sanity are massing outside the window, armed with the full weight of the Scottish Mental Health and the Criminal Trespass Act. But we can beat them, loonies! Because you know what we’ve got? Pride! We are loonies, and we are proud!”

Reach Out I’ll Be There played as the police arrived and a policewoman announced through a megaphone to the reporters, “You are trespassing on NHS property. I must ask you to leave immediately.” Campbell looked absolutely delighted. “You are trespassing on National Health property. I must ask you to leave immediately.”

Campbell kissed Y/N on the cheek in triumph and defiantly slammed the fader on the mixer up as loud as it could go.

Then the station window started to open, making them turn to see Eddie opening the window from the outside and he climbed inside.

Grins appeared on the faces of Campbell, Rosalie, and Y/N’s faces.

“You are trespassing on National Health property. I must ask you to leave immediately. If you do not leave immediately, you will be arrested and charged.”

“We’re gonna be arrested.” Campbell exclaimed, excitedly and he hugged ecstatically, “We’re gonna be charged! This is the most glorious day of my life!!”

He turned to Y/N and placed his hands on her hips loosely, he opened his mouth but nothing came out other than, “I… I…” He didn’t want to scare her off and after her last “relationship”.

“I love you.” She said, putting her arms around his neck.

He blinked and then he grinned and said, “I love you too.” He kissed her when the police broke the station window with a fire extinguisher and opened the door, pushing the obstacles away.

They hauled, Campbell, Y/N, Eddie, and Rosalie out as the reporters took pictures as the patients booed them. Campbell beamed at the cameras before they passed a now awake from her psychological coma Francine.

–

A week later

Y/N beamed from the other side of the radio station glass of Radio Scotland as Campbell laughed at some hate mail as music played softly, “That was Hit the Road, Jack, a special dedication to me, wouldja believe, from an anonymous listener in Bishopbriggs, who writes: ‘I know what you are, and you should be locked up and have your balls cut off.’ So, Gold Boppers, write in to next week’s mailbag and let me know what you think. Do you want me to be locked up, or just have my balls cut off, or do you want me to be locked up and have my balls cut off? This is Campbell Bain’s Gold Show, so don’t touch that dial, just let it be.”

He looked at Y/N through the glass and returned her smile, for the first time in a long time, both of them felt full and truly happy.

Chapter Text

“They were utterly intoxicated by each other.”

“Even drunk, I am caught off guard by the way I remain intoxicated by you.”

“Be drunk with love, for love is all that exists.”

1994 *Six months after the events of “Takin’ Over the Asylum”

It was two in the morning when the phone rang about six months after Campbell got the Scotland Radio job. 

“Ahhhg.” She groaned, blindly and lazily feeling around for her phone, knocking some things over, and answered her phone, “Hello.”

“Heeeeeey! Baby!” Came Campbell’s voice, clearly drunk. “Oh, I love you so much. Also, I’m super drunk with Eddie and them from work. Did I tell you I helped Eddie get a job at the station!?”

“Yes, Cam. I did. I was there when you did it.“ Y/n said.

“Twice a week.” He laughed, “But I’m just so sloshed! I can’t drive and neither can Eddie. Francine’s picking him up. Can you pick me up!? Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaase…” He kept that high pitched tone up until she said yes which she was going to anyways.

“Okay, yes. I will, just stop whining in that tone.” She said, “Let me get ready to leave first.”

“Love you!” Campbell sang and then he started singing Goin’ Out of My Head before Y/N hung up.

She groaned and rolled out of the bed.

–

When she arrived at the station, everyone else was gone except Campbell who was singing, drunkenly, I Want Your Cray-Cray at a high-pitched singing voice dressed in one of his hoodies just as his girlfriend was.

“I want your cray-cray!”

"Hey, radio star.” Y/N said, walking up to her intoxicated boyfriend.

“Baby! My love! My world! My universe!” He laughed, getting up and throwing his arms around her neck, with him being so much taller than her, he nearly knocked her over but she managed to get a firm footing before that happened.

“Why are you sitting out here? It’s way too cold.”

“It’s too hot in there.” He said and tried to take another swig of alcohol.

“No. No, Campbell.” She said, wrestling the bottle from his boyfriend who was whining now like a baby. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

“You first. I’m loving the view.” He flirted, looking her up and down shamelessly, as he brought his hands to her waist, running his fingertips gently on her skin, below the hoodie. “You know how much I love seeing you in my clothes, especially my hoodies.”

“Campbell, you’re drunk.” She sighed.

“And I did exactly what you told me to. I called you.”

“Yes, I did. And you did so well.” She cooed, her hand cupping his cheek and he nuzzled into it, proud of himself. “now come on. Let’s go home." 

She pulled him towards her car and helped him into the passenger’s seat before moving to the driver’s seat. 

Campbell dozed off on Y/N’s shoulder during the ride before she woke him up.

"No…” He whined so she turned the car inside light on and he groaned, “Ahhhhhg.”

“Come on, party animal. Let’s get you ready for bed.” She said.

Campbell tried to be on his best behavior while drunk but he felt anyone else would’ve just dropped him on the couch… but not Y/N, not his Y/N. 

She sat him on the edge of the tub in the bathroom. 

“How many drinks did you have?” She asked 

“I don’t know.” He mumbled without opening his mouth.

She brought a breathalyzer to him and held the nozzle to his mouth, “Open.” He opened his mouth. “Breathe.” He breathed. The breathalyzer beeped and read… “.16… so you had like seven drinks?”

“Sounds ‘bout right.” He slurred, nodding.

“Campbell, that’s too high.” She scolded and he pouted like a little puppy. She placed her hand on his forehead, he leaned his head back, looking at her with an alcohol-glazed lovey look, and then she felt his cheek and once again he nuzzled into her hand. “You don’t seem cold or clammy, your skin doesn’t seem to be any paler than usual. You’re breathing is quick. So, you don’t have alcohol poisoning…” She took him by the hands and pulled him to his feet, “let’s brush your teeth, your breath stinks.”

“I think a kiss from you is enough. Because you’re so sweet.” He flirted, leaning in for a kiss.

She leaned away from the kiss, making him pout and give her his puppy-dog eyes. “And you’re so cheesy.” She brushed his teeth for him and then told him to stay still in the middle of the bathroom while she got him some pajamas, slightly worried he might topple over and hit his head on the sink or bathtub. She got him a Radio Scotland t-shirt as he usually slept in a tee and his boxers. She brought the t-shirt as he started to shed his hoodie and unbuckle his belt.

She blushed, “Uh, Camps, here.” She muttered, handing him the t-shirt, avoiding looking at him but he didn’t take it and she looked at him as he had planned and he pulled his shirt over his head and smirked, raising his eyebrows in a teasing manner.

“Campbell!” She said, sternly.

“Alright. I was just jokin’. I’ll be out in a minute.” He said with a drunken giggle in his Scottish accent and she left.

A minute later, he called, “Help.”

She opened the bathroom door to find him just barely keeping himself from tripping due to his jeans at the floor now, pooled at his feet and him still being very drunk, and trying to put his head through a sleeve. “I’m stuck.” She could hear the pout in his voice.

Y/N smiled, gently and she walked over to him, “stay still.” She advised him.

“Never.” He mumbled with a hint of a childish whine.

She eased him to stillness before fixing the t-shirt so his head went through the head hole and helped him navigate his arms through the sleeves.

“Aye, my hero.” He smirked and she leaned up, gently kissing him and he never refused a kiss from her.

She was a goddess from Scottish or Celtic mythology in his eyes. She was the Baobhan Sith, the female vampire who seduced men with her beauty and he would gladly give her his blood if she asked. She was Mórrigan, the Irish-Celtic warrior-queen goddess. She was Cliodna, the Scottish-Celtic goddess of beauty, love, and passion. He worshipped her with his every being.

“Okay, superstar, time for bed.” She giggled.

“Will you stay?” He asked, forgetting whose house this was.

“Well, this is my house. So…”

“I like to wake up, looking at you.” He mused before flopping face-first on the bed.

Y/n rolled her eyes and pushed him on his side of the bed.

Y/N turned off the lights and climbed into bed. A few minutes went by before Campbell said, loudly, right in her ear, “WAIT!?” He startled her with the volume of his voice, making her jump and pull away from him, and he lowered it, “Sorry.” She reached next to her and turned on the sidetable lamp. “What were you doing when I called you?”

“Sleeping…” She said, hesitantly.

His eyes turned back into puppy-dog eyes of sadness.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, love.” He apologized, he cupped the back of Y/N’s head. “I must’ve been pretty annoying all night.”

“No, you weren’t.” She reassured him, puncturing each sentence with a kiss. A sure-fire way to keep his drunk self entertained–also a sure-fire way to keep his sober self enterained. “I’d get up in the middle of the night to come and get you as much as you need. I love you.”

He smiled and kissed her before bringing her in so she could rest her head on his arm and he stretched the turn off the light and the two fell asleep to a morning of him whining about his hangover.

Chapter Text

“I want your love to consume me like an oversized winter coat. Hands clasped around my waist like buttons done up properly.”

Early March, 1995 (Early Eight months since the events of Takin’ Over the Asylum)

Link to Winter Sound by Of Monsters and Men

They had known for nearly two months that Campbell would be leaving but Y/n was on her way to get her A-Levels/GED since she had dropped out of secondary school/high school to go to the asylum but now it seemed that it had hit Campbell as he was even more clingy than normal.

“Campbell.” She groaned as he hugged her from behind as she was trying to make Scottish Lentil soup for the two.

“But… baaaabe, I’m leaving tomorrow. I won’t be able to see you in three weeks.” He whined, burying his head into her back. “I won’t be able to touch you. I won’t be able to snuggle you as we sleep. I won’t’ be able to hear your voice.”

“We can still talk on the phone.” She protested.

“It’s not the same! I won’t be able to kiss your back." He whined.

He kissed her back before trailing to her shoulder as he pulled her sleeve up to reveal her shoulder and kissed it, "I won’t be able to kiss your shoulder.” He moved to her neck, “I won’t be able to kiss your neck.” He grasped her hips and turned her around and kissed her cheek, moving to her jaw and chin. “I won’t be able to kiss your cheeks, your chin, your jaw.” He pulled away to ease her to the counter beside the stove before pressing her against it as she couldn’t help but smile and giggle. He kissed up her face to her forehead. “I won’t be able to kiss your face.” He tilted her head up and he kissed her lips. “I won’t be able to kiss your lips.”

“Cam… we…” He kept quieting her with kisses before moving to her neck, though it seemed he was taking in her scent as he kissed her neck. She had leaned her head back so he could have access with he happily obliged with open-mouthed kisses. “Campbell, it’s five. I, uh, I had some plans for a date tonight. But we need to eat first.”

“What kind of date? Dinner? Movie?” He hummed.

“No, that’s why we’re eating now.” She said.

“Wait a minute, it’s nearly twelve in the morning. What date takes place after midnight?”

“It’ll be outside. You’ll need to dress in warm clothing. But I need to finish the soup first." 

He gave her a smile with a deep emotion in his eyes, she couldn’t quite detect, "What?”

“I just love you so bloody much.” He said, earnestly.

–

Campbell and Y/n walked through Glasgow with her being all vague which kept Campbell frustrated and all pouty.

“Be patient, Cam.”

“I’m not a patient person!” He almost yelled.

“Oh, I know.” She said, playing with her satchel that she refused to show Campbell what it contained. “Just wait and see.”

“Just wait and see!? Do you have any idea how irritating that is!?” He whined.

She eventually led him to a park, it was a rather snowy March, so the pond at the park was frozen, she took a pair of ice skates out of her satchel.

“You want to skate at one in the morning?” He laughed.

“Well, I’m a looney.” She teased.

“Yes, you are.” He grinned and kissed her, he cupped her face with both hands. “Yes, you are.”

–

Ten minutes later, Y/n was teaching Campbell how to skate, though he was a bit clumsy but she kept him up by holding his hand. 

At one point, she did an impressive spin, which made her hair spin around her head like a H/C halo as Campbell watched with a dropped jaw… drooling slightly.

“How’d you learn how to do this anyways?” He laughed, flailing his arms, trying to keep himself upright.

Y/n spun around and her smile faltered before turning bittersweet, “Uh, when I first arrived to Saint Jude’s… Fergus took me." 

"Oh.”

“He took me a few times, not even expecting me to talk. I picked this up quick and I even laughed. He considered that a victory.” She said, sadly.

Campbell slid over to her and embraced her, which he originally intended to do but also to stop him from falling. “I miss him too.” Campbell said in her ear, he pulled away.

She handed her hand out in front of her, offering it to him which he took and she skated with him, he… well, to say, he got the hang of it isn’t right, but he wasn’t completely fall-on-his-face-with-each-stroke terrible. 

At one point, she tripped and nearly fell but Campbell caught her through this threw him off balance and he fell with Y/n landing on top of him. 

They laughed at this and kissed, they decided they had had enough and put their shoes on that they had clipped to their belts and got up on the ice.

 Campbell brushed off some snow and then turned to his girlfriend who was looking at him with a sparkle in her eyes.

“What?” He laughed.

“I love you so bloody much too.” She said.

He grinned… like a maniac… like a looney and he pulled her in by the waist for a slow, passionate kiss but slipped on the ice now wearing his normal shoes and he pulled Y/n closed which brought them both down with her, once again, landing on his chest.

“I just can’t play it cool.” He laughed.

“I don’t know. Nineteen-year-old Radio DJ. Hyperactive, loud, energetic, passionate, enthusiastic, charismatic, spontaneous, easy-going, creative, independent, brave, funny, sarcastic, sexy…” He clicked his tongue and winked at her.

“Mmm, do say more things you like about my personality.” He hummed, playing with a short lock of hair of hers. 

“Impulsive, loud, hard to keep track off.” She teased.

“Oh, you wound me.” He groaned, dramatically.

“How about this? Sweet, loyal, handsome, romantic, hot…”

“Yeah. That’s the ticket.” He said, nodding, “But you forgot one thing. Totally, ridicouslously in love with you and definitely going to miss you for the next three weeks.”

“Me too. You’ve been in my life for less than a year and already… I can’t imagine my life without you. You’re all the things I just said and more. You are the best guy I have ever dated though granted, given the last and only other one abused me for years on end and traumatized me into muteness, that wasn’t a high bar.” She looked down, averting eye contact with Campbell.

Campbell tucked the lock of her hair behind her ear, “He won’t ever hurt you again, baby. Never ever.”

She shivered a little and concerned appeared on his face, “Shite. Your nose is all red. You’re freezing. Let’s get ho… let’s get you home.” Once off the ice and pulled him back and he looked at her.

She stepped closer, raising herself on her tip-toes while weaving her hand through his hair on the back of his head and kissed him slowly when she pulled away, his eyes fluttered open and then shook his head.

“Sorry, you know, most girls, normal girls, always dream of having the perfect kiss with the perfect guy.” She said and then cringed, “Sorry, that was like the cheesiest thing ever.”

“Yeah, it was. So that’s super embarrassing for you.” He teased but then she sneezed. “Let’s get you home before I have to drop out of the DJ competition to take care of you. Come with me, Juliet. Follow your Romeo.” Then he immediately slipped and fell back down, face first in a pile of snow.

–

Campbell handed her a cup of freshly made hot chocolate with whipped cream after she got out of the shower when they got home.

“Oh, how thoughtful.” Y/n said, cupping her boyfriend’s cheek and stroking it with her thumb.

She took the mug and drank a big gulp, letting it warm her insides as she had already began to get cold from the shower.

Campbell grinned when he saw she had whipped cream on her nose, he leaned over and licked and kissed it off.

“Campbell!” She laughed.

“Mmm. Tastes only slightly more sweet than usual.”

“The whipped cream?” She asked.

“No, you. Your taste. The taste of your skin.” He teased.

“God, you’re a dork.” She drank some more hot chocolate and as soon as she swallowed he kissed her, allowing him to taste the hot chocolate on her lips and she giggled against his lips. “You’re so weird, Bain.”

“You are simply beautiful, L/n.” He hummed.

–

Thirty minutes, later at like, two-thirty in the morning, they were both finally in bed.

“Promise me something?” She asked, laying on his chest.

“Hmm-mmm.” He hummed, half-asleep.

“Campbell.” She smacked his chest and he propped himself of his elbows to look at her, albeit, slightly sleep blurry-eyed.

“Hmm?” He asked but she didn’t answer, he looked at her and saw her biting her lip, nervously. He sat up, wrapping his arms around his knees, “Babe, what is it?”

“Promise me you won’t find some girl wherever this competition is going to to take you, someone who’s willing to have sex with you…”

Campbell tilted her head up and kissed her before pulling back and looking her dead in the eye and saying, seriously, “One year ago, if someone were to ask me what my perfect dream girl would be, she wouldn’t even come close to you.” He kissed her gently again and then gave her a goofy smile, “That cheesy enough for you?”

“Yeah, and it was super embarrassing for you.” She teased and he pulled her into his chest as they laid back down with him burying his face in the top of her head.

“I’m in this for the long run, Y/n. I promise. Your first time should’ve be special but it wasn’t, I’m willing to wait until you’re ready.” He whispered. “God, I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too.” She said and leaned up and kissed him.

He turned off the light and they drifted to sleep.

–

At the airport, the next afternoon, Eddie was saying goodbye to Francine while Campbell hugged Y/n, repeating how much he loved her and kissing her passionately.

“Call me? Every day. Even if it’s the middle of the night for me.” She requested.

He laughed, “You bet. I’ll tell you about my day. Probably have to get another room from Eddie or else, I’ll annoy him. You call me too. If you just want to talk, you call me. Even in the middle of the night.”

“Babe, you’ll be having a competition. I can’t do that. You call me, I’ll call you if you’re awake. You call me every time you land and I’ll look up the time zone differences and call you.”

“I’ll keep my mobile on me at all times."  He promised and kissed her.

"Campbell, we’ve got to go.” Eddie said, irriatedly.

Campbell groaned, “Bye, babe. I love you.” He said and pecked her lips before going with Eddie to board the plane.

“Wait!” Y/n shouted, running at him, he turned and felt her attack him with a hug. “Two years ago, when I was still talking, if you asked me to describe my perfect dream guy, he wouldn’t even come close to you either.” She said into his ear.

He chuckled, “You stole my line.”

“Campbell!” Eddie shouted.

“IN A MINUTE! I have to go. Love you.” He kissed her again and ran off with Eddie.

Chapter Text

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