Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

" My heart, it aches so much...I look into her irises, that soft, gentle, smile that could heal a broken heart. Light years away from me, unable to be grasped by my hands, how foolish of me to ever think someone, like me, could ever be in love with someone like her."

-

Today is November the 3rd, the weather is slightly chilly the updraft of wind is not far off, one would use this day to stroll around the park. That is where I am, wondering where I have gone wrong in my life, what wrong turn did I make, to cause it all to fall through on me.

My apologies for being so vague and abrupt, I haven't even made acquaintance with you, before weighing you down with the numerous tragedies, of that of which my life currently is.

My name is Zyanya Mondragón, a few close colleagues, and some of my friends refer to me as Reyna, meaning queen or counsel. It's common for a person to pick up a silly nickname when with friends. I am currently a first-year at Cornell University, it took a lot to get here, from sleepless nights to working two jobs over the summer while still being a minor.

Despite all of those perilous trails, I ended my high school years off strong leading with scores such as 1580 on my SAT, an ACT score of 35, and an average GPA of 4.08, I have to do everything I can to become a medical professional to help my little sister, Lucia she's been sick with an unknown illness for about several years now.

We have gone to every medical professional in our area to find anyone who can help her. Yet they've all come back with the same results, of 'there is nothing wrong with her, you're just a woman in hysteria.' I refuse to believe that's the problem, she's sick I know without a shadow of doubt, that my little sister needs help.

Unfortunately, however, this search for help has to come to a stop, for now, our insurance doesn't want to cover any more of the tests, or temporary medicine to help my sister...I see it as the medical field doesn't care enough to help a person of color who is not rich or worthwhile in their service of that rat race or whatever.

So at the early age of fourteen I chose my path in life, to become a doctor, so I could help those who look like me, who can't fully afford every single piece of health care they need, I want to change that to the best of my ability.

Everyone deserves a fair chance, whether they are ''useful" or not. The right to a healthy life should be given not taken.

Now that I've told you a little about myself, let me explain another problem...which can be seen as trivial or less of a dying matter.

-

The rush of cold wind hit my face, as my feet awkwardly scraped against the freshly paved sidewalk, they had just finished putting it in, it was nice to look down at the ground and see that bright clean grey. I've never taken note of mundane things, I think this is what happens when you fathom a liking to another person.

A soft chime noise fills my ears, I glance down at the floor being greeted by a set of happily wagging tails and loud puppy barks, I never mentioned that this place doubles as a home for a few animals, a Dobermann pair, a wild Dutch Shepherd and Belgian Malinois, and a lovely trio of Poodles. Oh, a Mainecoon and Bengal cat, live here too.

Lingying explained to me during my first visit here, that the owner partnered with a few preservation breeders, they wanted to educate as many as possible about ethical animal breeding, however, I don't think you can teach several topics in small exchange for a cup of coffee or a donut.

I do think their company is nice, every once and a while when I come to have my usual I can select a pup for an enrichment walk, sometimes I debate if I want to buy one, for companionship of course. Then I remember the long labs, tests, and things of that nature, it wouldn't be morally right for me to buy a puppy and then not be able to take care of them.

To think a place like this, is almost always empty, I take it's because it's near a college campus, most people here are either bad at budgeting money, or maybe they just don't care about helping a family-owned business, the Starbucks down the street has a long around the corner most of the time.

"Ah settle down you four, Miss Zyanya needs to get through the door first."

A smile crept onto my face, as I heard her voice, Lingying, the one and only. She's so pretty, from her raven hair that's always in its signature ponytail, down to her brown eyes, Love isn't a word that can describe how I feel right now.

" No no, its okay! haha, the little ones are just excited to see me, it's been a while since I've stopped by."

It had been about 3 days since I had last come here, mainly because I sent most of my last check back home, my mother said things were tight, mainly because of the insurance not paying anymore. So I did what the eldest daughter should always do, give her whatever she has left to her family. Even if that means not being a regular to stare at a girl she is in love with.

"Mmm, okay, okay, the usual? a normal coffee, with four sugars, two tablespoons of cream, whipped cream on top, with tons of caramel?" She glanced into my eyes, ahh those beautiful pools of honey.

"Yes, oh I'll take a strawberry donut with sprinkles as well."

"Very well Miss...Mo-Mondragón...I still haven't pronounced that right, have I?"

I laugh and shake my head, I didn't mind when Lingying got my last name wrong, it was normal for most to butcher it...but when she did it? it felt different, even nice, to think she tried her best for me.

I think I am whipped, ah! She makes me smile so much, it's not even fun- I grumble as I am met with a large set of paws, connected to a tiny body, Kazi wanted to play as usual.

It's normal for a young male Dobermann to be full of energy at this age, I glance around the cafe for a chew toy or something to throw, to get the four-month-old pup away from me.

Finally my eyes land on a light blue Kong toy, I toss it across the room, and Kazi quickly chases after it, his bother Nyko leaps out of his Ruffland kennel, wanting in on the game of catch. Those two were the cutest pair of black-rust Dobermann I have ever seen, always eager to play and please.

Lingying giggled as she came over and sat my drink down, she always did extra for me when I was a customer here. She handed me a beige napkin and then placed my oversized donut down, I will say family-owned shops have the best service when it comes to things like this.

" Here's your food, I brought it out myself to save you from Nyko and Kazi, they've been wanting to play a lot lately."

" It's fine, I promise although I did receive a few play bites from Mr. Nyko seems like he's teething on my ankles."

The raven-haired woman gave out a tired sigh as she rubbed her face, then pointed her slender fingers to an elevated dog bed, the blue collared boy whined as he went to sit down. She was like a mother to the pets that lived here, I watched her go behind the counter to grab a few marrow bones.

Kazi, Nyko, Valhir who was a Dutch shepherd, and Chiron a Belgian Malinois all receive a marrow bone to keep themselves occupied for a while, I take note of the fact that the poodle trio is nowhere to be found. I suppose someone took them out for a group walk? I find that weird, no one usually visits this place before I do...so what suddenly changed?

Perhaps I am overacting, often humans get used to having things a certain way, and when they aren't...it causes worry or even confusion.

Lingying grabbed her drink and sat down next to me, we talked for what seemed like hours, this was a regular thing for us to do, she was a part of my life, and I was a part of hers, she was currently the only stable thing I have in my life. I do not think she needs me or wants me as much as I do. Her family is wealthy, they come from Guangdong which is located on the South China Sea.

It is the richest province in China if my memory doesn't fail me, sometimes I wonder why she talks to me, I am theoretically the lower class in this situation...well that's being nice to myself my mother alone brings in only 36k annually, I can not imagine how much Lingying's family makes.

This barista thing is just a humble side gig she told me about, she's a darling I've seen her volunteer at soup kitchens, animal shelters you name it. She's like an angel in the form of a human.

" Zyanya, you seem deep in thought, am I bothering you today."

My face reddens as I quickly escape my thoughts, I shake my head-hopping she wouldn't stop talking to me, I love her voice, I love when she talks to me it's like the cool wind on a hot summer day.

" Sorry, I was watching the puppies enjoy their marrow bones...Although I was wondering where the poodles were, it's not often for any of the boys to be separated like this."

"Ooh, someone took them out for a walk, he should be back with them very soon."

He? he, she knows other people?! That I do not know about. I have never heard her mention anyone else around me, so what is with the sudden change? I guess I wasn't overacting, there is something off here.

I nod my head slowly, trying not to think too hard about such mundane things as another friend, who was a guy at that. Who am I to try and police her about who she chooses to hang out with?

I couldn't let it go, however.

We continued the conversation like nothing was ever spoken of in that manner, I glanced at her white knuckles as she gripped her cup, something was on her mind. She was lost in that exact deep thought I was in earlier, I wondered what could be crossing her mind, what could be bothering her?

I realize the more time I spend with Lingying, the more I notice the little things about her, such as the way her eyes soften when she sees me walk through the door, or even the fact that she smiles every time we burst into laughter.

Just as I was about to inquire her about her thoughts, the door opened, and the sound of the bell filled the air, Lingying got up to greet the individual l...how odd she had never done anything like that before.

The two of them converse for a bit, and a small mew could be heard not far off from me, it was Athena, one of the two resident cats that lived here at the cafe, she was the Bengal cat, and she meowed at me for a bit longer. I didn't want to be bothered by a cat right now, I wanted to listen to the conversation that was happening right in front of me.

Lingying motioned for me to stand up and greet the person, I was raised to be respectful regardless of how I felt about the person. My eyes widen a bit as I recognize the person before me.

" Zyanya, meet my boyfriend Sasha Novikov, better known as Alexander given, Sasha is a nickname for that name."

I knew this guy, we take archery classes together, I see him on campus and occasionally at the ice skating rink...I believe he plays for the local hockey team, why was he suddenly dating Lingying?! After all this time of me and her talking to each other and being friends, I mean at least I think we are friends she never once mentioned a boyfriend.

" It is a pleasure to meet you properly this time Miss Mondragón."

Despite me being pretty upset at not knowing this information...he seemed, like a good guy, when he walked in her gave Lingying what seemed to be her favorite flowers, her face lit up completely when she saw what I think to be a bouquet of Dahlia's.

The little things mean so much to women, I know for myself I enjoy it when people notice things that aren't always showy. Nevertheless, this still felt like a stab in the heart...I wanted to do nothing at this moment but cry.

To cry my eyes out, as though I was a newborn child being born into this tragic world.

"You knowww, Sasha my courses are starting soon, meaning we can spend more time together, heh."

I stood there listening to the two of them going back and forth, he was in love with her, and she was in love with him. I felt such a tight pain in my chest suddenly like some form of life existed inside of me in a way I couldn't describe.

"Hey, uhh my mom just shot me a text, I have to go home to check on my sister."

"Ah be safe Zyanya, I hope you have a good rest of your day."

Lingying gave me a hug, interaction with another human never felt so painful until this moment in time.

Sasha gave me a nod and shook my hand, he seemed very cold and aloof to anyone who wasn't his girlfriend...

I ended up requesting a container and a bag for my donut, I didn't want to be here any longer not with the walls feeling like they were encapsulating me, I couldn't breathe my chest felt so tight.

Eventually I walked out leaving the two love birds alone, I took a moment to look around the area, there was no person as far as my eyes could see. I took a deep breath and let the tears flow from my eyes.

Damn it, damn me! why, why did I have to fall in love with her, she has a whole boyfriend. I stood there in place feeling warm tears slide down my face, I let out a set of strained coughs.

I didn't feel sick so why did I suddenly- I stare into my hands noticing a few purple hyacinth petals, how...odd.

Chapter Text

My fingertips slowly slide together as I feel one of the few purple petals...surely this did not escape my mouth. There was no reasonable explanation; no logical person would think a flower petal would come from their mouth.

I couldn't pinpoint it; it was early fall, there weren't many flowers in sight, and Hyacinth flowers bloom mid-spring. What if the petal fell from the bouquet that Sasha was giving to Lingying...Yeah, that sounds right. It fell from the bouquet.

I try to reason with myself, but I just couldn't, I couldn't let myself believe in a well-rounded answer. When I glanced at the flowers he had bought for Lingying, I didn't notice any purple flowers; in fact, if I remember correctly, not too many flowers come in that color. Maybe...Maybe it did.

A part of me was easily convinced and wanted to get to the bottom of this. So I did what anyone who needed answers would do: head to my local college library to see if I could borrow a few books for a bit of in-depth research. There has to be something on this topic; I'll take anything at all.

-

After a short trip across the campus, I find myself at the large marble steps of our campus library, which was also open to the public. I find myself walking up the steps, occasionally glancing down at the purple petal between my fingers. Still trying to wrap my mind around it all, how, why, and what for, if any of this matters at all.

I enter the large building, taking in all the varying bookshelves. Hmm, they must have redecorated the place; new dark oak shelves instead of the normal oak. Seems like the government and city taxes are doing something right here. I walk through a few aisles before stopping at a dual aisle for Botany and Biomedical, surely all the answers I need will be right here.

Taking my time, I slowly skim through several titles, picking up a few hard covers on disease, flower types, and...mythical magic disease practitioners, who put this here? This seems more like a fictional story rather than a clinical study. However, I dont think it would hurt me if I just glanced at a few pages to figure out the gist, not like the title isn't a dead giveaway or anything.

I take my small stack of books and sit down at a small square table, letting out a soft sigh before looking through the first book on flower types, just to be sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me.

There it is, the purple petal that was akin to the one in my pocket, it most definitely was a Hyacinth petal...which was strange to me, the petals from that flower dont fall off as individuals, more so as mini flower heads, given their shape and makeup. So then...what happened? I sat there deep in thought, trying to piece together what I deemed impossible.

"Hihi, how have you been, Zyanya!" A voice louder than it should be in a library rang through my ears. I looked up and made eye contact with a girl with short, fluffy white hair and a dorky smile.

I quickly grab her by the arm, pulling the young girl down into a chair. Giving her a sharp glare, as a few people nearby stare at us. I grumble internally, hoping they would just drop the matter.

"Damn it, Sunwoo, you're supposed to whisper...what do you want?"

The younger girl was a member of our college's Track and Field team, running both distance and mid-distance. Whatever that could mean, I don't care for the track team; I only go to a few meets to support my friend. Anyway, she's pretty decent, winning most, if not all, of her races. She also has a girlfriend who runs distance and hurdles...or was it jumps? I can't remember.

Sunwoo also worked part-time as a chef at the local Kpot Korean BBQ and hot pot restaurant (not sponsored). I believe she's currently in her Food Science program at Cornell CALS. She was the loud, rambunctious type, not knowing when to use her inside voice.

"S-sorry, heh I was just wondering what you were up to, today is a Saturday, I dont know too many people who spend their Saturdays with a book shoved in their faces...*gasp* are you studying because of that Lingying gir-"

I cover her mouth, not letting her finish that stupid sentence.

"Whisper, God DAMN!"

"Im trying, I really am, so why are you studying?" The young white-haired girl finally calmed down. I watched her drag her fingers through her wolf cut. She always did this when she got in trouble. I stared at her chewed-up fingernails. The kid must have been stressed out from something.

"Something happened, and I was reading up on it, nothing more."

"Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the gym with me and Tala, we're going to hit legs today, we always hit legs, haha."

The gym didn't sound so bad, I could take my mind off the Lingying situation and the strange petal thing.

"Alright, I'll join you two, but I need to change my clothes, I dont live in gym clothes like you do, Sun."

On that note, I place my few books back, not before checking out that odd title, mythical magic disease practitioners, it could be a fun read, something else to take my mind off of everything.

-

I gasp, trying to catch my breath. "We...We really didn't need to run here, you know I hate cardio, there was no reason for you two to do this to me!"

Tala and Sunwoo only laugh at me in my despair. I cannot stand those two little freshmen! Well, I am a freshman too, but not the 18-year-old fresh out of high school kind. I am 21...which I forgot to mention amidst all the Lingying drama, I took a four-year gap to help take care of my mother and my sister properly...I apologize for not being clear in my explanations. It's hard to do so when a pretty woman clouds your judgment quite often.

I join Tala and Sunwoo with their pre-workout stretch...a part of me feels bitter when I see them together, I wish I could be with Lingying, or at least get to know her without Sasha in the way. I wish I had never found out he existed. My chest feels so tight thinking about it. Like a flower growing inside my lungs, wrapping itself around my heart as well.

I have never felt such agony or even pain in my life. Yes, my sister means so much to me, but I have never felt this way about her being sick. So what is suddenly different? What makes me feel so deeply for Lingying, and not in the same way for my own kin, my own blood that I am fighting tooth and nail to keep in this world with me.

"Hey, earth to Zyanya! Sunwoo and I were talking about hitting the treadmills first. We were just letting you know, so you don't think we bailed on you." I watch as the girl holds her hand up before leaving with her partner.

There I was, lost in my head again. I take a deep breath before grabbing a set of 45lb (20 kilos) dumbbells. I wanted to ego lift a bit today. Maybe the pain in my arms would distract from the pain in my chest.

Yet and still my mind wanders to her, and even him...how long have they known each other? are they going for co-ed dorms? What courses is she taking? and will I see her in any of mine?

I could only hope and pray that we would have at least something together, just so I can see her face somewhere besides that damn coffee shop, not that it bothered me or anything, I just wanted to be with her outside of such a corporate scene.

My attention draws over to the gym doors, my eyes slightly widen as I see Lingying walk into the gym with Sasha. The devil must really want to win today, huh?