Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ni-ki's landlady sucks ass, but don't tell her he said that. 

So not only are all of them being kicked out of the house in roughly a year because she wants to tear down the old house and rebuild it, but one of his old housemates moved out before she told them, and now she won't allow another person to move in. Which means, Ni-ki, Sunghoon, Jake and Sunoo and have to split the rent into four instead of five, even though the house is technically built for six. And Ni-ki doesn't make remotely enough money to move somewhere else right now or pay his share of the rent, unless he wants to live off of instant ramyeon for the rest of the lease. 

"It's so annoying!" he complains over dinner and glances at the clock. He's got exactly seventeen minutes to finish his cereal, take a shower, blow dry his hair and get dressed before he has to leave for his shift at his part time job, which is simply not enough time. "It's an entire year, why can't someone else move in?"

"Our landlady is weird," Jake shrugs and feeds his dog Layla a piece of leftover bacon from breakfast that he reheated. As of the day of their landlady's announcement, they've all opted for eating leftovers, cheap breakfast food, and the almost expired meal prep kits Ni-ki gets to take home from his part time job rather than buying fresh ingredients. "No use in complaining."

"It just can't be legal!" he continues through a full mouth and, fuck, he really needs to hurry. His boss Jay can be so annoying when he shows up late. "Sunghoon-hyung, you study law. Is this allowed?"

"I don't know," Sunghoon deadpans and shoves a piece of steak down his throat like that rich piece of shi – "Just find a better paying job?"

"But I am well-paid!" he whines and finishes his bowl of cereal. He gets up with a full mouth and makes a run for the bathroom. "Thanks for doing the dishes, hyung!"

"Hey!"

Ni-ki doesn't hear Jake or Sunghoon complaining. He's too busy failing Eminem's 'Rap God' in the shower. 

—

Ni-ki finally learns what it means to find a blessing in disguise today. He comes two minutes late to his shift by bursting through the front door completely out of breath and disheveled and his skateboard slipping out of his hands, but he comes face to face with Heeseung behind the cashier. Heeseung, the nicer boss because he lets Ni-ki drink the strawberry milk even though it's not even close to expired, just because Ni-ki likes it. That, and he doesn't scold Ni-ki when he comes a little late. 

Instead, Heeseung shoots him a warm smile, takes out a strawberry milk he stored away behind the cash register and punches the straw in for him. 

"Glad you could make it, part timer," he greets him with a grin and slides the strawberry milk across the counter like it's a fancy beverage in a bar, "I was afraid you quit and didn't tell me."

Heeseung owns the convenience store in all its glaring fluorescent glory that Ni-ki works at. He got it from his parents after his older brother Heedo became a pro basketball player. And he's probably, although Ni-ki would never admit it out loud, the coolest person he knows. Heeseung is independent, his own boss, has a really good playlist that plays over the store's speakers. This is the kind of adult that teenage Ni-ki would've loved to grow up to be. (And even now, adult Ni-ki looks up to Heeseung. A lot.)

"As if," Ni-ki scoffs, "There's too much free food from this job to quit it." As if to prove his point, he throws his college backpack across the counter and watches it land perfectly into his designated 'backpack corner'. He grins widely when Heeseung rolls his eyes at his antics and skips past him to the staff room where he goes to put on his uniform – an ugly grey and blue vest that is not flattering on his waist at all. But beggars can't be choosers, and Ni-ki has no other choice but to keep his job (that he actually likes a lot). 

"Not even in it for the money," Heeseung snorts, but his eyes widens once he looks at Ni-ki again and notices that, instead of happily sipping his strawberry milk, he flicks at the straw. "What's wrong?"

"I told you about one of my housemates moving out, right?" he answers hesitantly and receives a nod. With a sigh, Ni-ki picks up the milk box and brings the straw to his lips to take an agitated sip. Ugh, just thinking about it makes him angry. "Well, my landlady won't let someone else move in. So my rent is higher now."

"You could take more shifts," Heeseung suggests unhelpfully, because any more, and Ni-ki would have to pay taxes. And that's too bothersome. He needs some shady, under the table, straight to his hands money. "Oh, I can help you with that."

"Hyung?!" Ni-ki gasps, scandalised. He never expected Heeseung-hyung, his Heeseung-hyung, to be okay with money laundering. 

"Not like that," Heeseung rolls his eyes, but there's an affectionate smile tugging at his lips, "You know how I have to call you in for shifts in exchange for more paid vacation when Jongseong can't make it?" Ni-ki gasps again. His stern and uptight Jay-hyung?! Then again, he is always counting money...

"Is he in the mafia or something?" Ni-ki inquiries warily, "Because I don't wanna be involved in heavy crime."

"Nothing like that either," Heeseung laughs, "He has to babysit for a friend sometimes. But you know Jay. He's always busy with something."

That much is true. Every time Ni-ki has a shift with Jay and there's not much to do, he studies for university, or a language he wants to learn, or goes over the taxes of his parents and makes a grocery list for them. If he's not doing any of that, he checks the store's inventory, looks for apartments he can move into and plans events for his dad's restaurant. If it isn't any of that, he's at class or 'somewhere' as he used to say. So maybe every time Ni-ki thought he was secretly going on dates or something, he was actually babysitting for this friend. 

The mental image of Jay with a kid is a little scary. The mental image of Jay with Ni-ki as the little kid is traumatising. Oh god. 

(Ni-ki is only exaggerating. He would've killed for a big brother like Jay when he was a kid.)

"So you're suggesting I babysit for your friend?" Ni-ki peaks up, excited. The straw to his strawberry milk hangs uselessly from his lips as he corners Heeseung against the counter. "How old? Are they going to school already? Do you have a picture?"

Ni-ki loves kids. Not in the creepy, paedophilic way, but more in the way that he is literally studying to become an elementary school teacher. Kids are fun, and they're cute, and they've literally changed his life. Babysitting doesn't even sound like a job for Ni-ki. 

"Take it easy, cowboy," Heeseung laughs and pushes Ni-ki back to put some distance between their faces, "I can show you the ad." 

Heeseung pulls out his phone and opens an internet site on the browser. The name sounds a bit odd. babysit-me.com sounds like the kids put the ads there themselves, or Ni-ki will have to babysit an adult which is just... weird. The ad of Heeseung’s friend is simple enough. There are no pictures of her (internet safety tip number one: NEVER POST YOUR KID ON THE INTERNET TO PROTECT THEM FROM CREEPS), only the most basic paragraphs of text someone could put for a babysitting ad. 

I’m looking for a babysitter for my daughter. She recently turned six and needs to be picked up after pre-school every day and be taken care of until at least 8 pm. Rarely service required on the weekends. Since she’s starting school next year, I would like to find a long term babysitter who can also help her with homework.   

Pay: 25 000 KRW per hour (on hand or bank transaction)

If interested, please send an email to […] for an interview.

Ni-ki almost faints when he looks at the pay. He does the math in his head. He almost goes into a cardiac arrest. That’s about 2700 Japanese Yen an hour just to babysit! He doesn’t even get paid that much from Heeseung and Jay. And she’s a preschooler? This is either the craziest, most unhinged little girl of all times, or the guy is absolutely nuts about his daughter. Both work out fine for Ni-ki. 

“Heeseung-hyung,” he gasps and grabs him by the shoulders to give him a violent shake, “This is the perfect job for me. Please introduce me to your friend! I’ll take good care of her!”

“Are you marrying the kid?!” 

Just then, Ni-ki’s first customer of the night walks in.

—

At the end of Ni-ki’s shift, sometime past two am already, Heeseung always lets him pack the meal kits, snacks and meal boxes that expire that day. There are always a few, and if Ni-ki puts them in the freezer, they hold out pretty long. Sure, sometimes he gets weirdly thawed rice from it, but beggars can’t be choosers. But once Ni-ki lands this babysitting job, he’ll actually manage to buy his food instead of hoping that the microwave he warms up his food in won't explode in his face! Incredible. Ni-ki feels giddy just from thinking about finally being able to go to a restaurant again. 

“Got everything?” Heeseung asks lazily from behind the counter and looks up from his game console that he has professionally hidden in the shelf under the cash register. “It’d be a shame to throw away all that ramyeon.”

“Yup,” he answers and struggles to zip up his backpack. He looks like he’s either backpacking, or coming home from robbing a store. Well, technically, he is. But it’s consensual robbing. He’s allowed to do it. Heeseung gave him permission. Although, he can totally understand why this brand of ramyeon doesn’t sell. The broth is bland and oily, the noodles are always raw no matter how long you cook them (Jake tried two minutes, five minutes, thirty minutes…), and the spices have too much MSG. But Heeseung has this weird habit of buying every kind of a product from every brand in existence just to test how it would sell, or just for the fun of it. And maybe because he thinks it’s good luck for him. There was that one time three years ago when Ni-ki first got this job where Heeseung bought every energy drink in every flavour, and he managed to get a boyfriend out of it. Like, what the actual fuck. 

“Here you go,” Heeseung says when Ni-ki returns to the counter and receives his last strawberry milk for the day, except this time, a little note is stuck to it. It’s a phone number, and a misshaped drawing of a little heart. “I told my friend I’d give you his number instead. Just send him a text and say you know me and Jay if he gets a little wary.”

“Alright, will do,” Ni-ki hums and grabs the milk box, “See you on Friday!”

With that (and another hair ruffle from Heeseung) Ni-ki goes home. 

—

The two-story house he lives in is fairly spacious. It’s one of those older ones where the wall plaster is crumbling, and the yellowish paint on the wooden door is peeling away. It takes him about an hour to get to the closest bus station, followed by about ten minutes of skating. He should really invest in a driver’s license like Sunoo and Sunghoon. By car, it would have taken him twenty minutes. 

When he comes back, Sunghoon is in the middle of parking his car in front of the gate, even though it’s already past three am, and it’s a Tuesday. He has this weird rule of not going out with the other law students unless it’s a Friday or Saturday, so this behaviour is suspicious. Very suspicious. 

“Hyung!” Ni-ki calls out just when Sunghoon opens their rusty gate and gives him an enthusiastic wave, “Hii!”

“Oh, Ni-ki,” Sunghoon exhales (maybe out of relief?) and holds the gate open for him. He’s holding a plastic bag so maybe he fell victim to Sunoo’s puppy eyes and went to buy some snacks. That’s not very suspicious, and it’s nothing Ni-ki can be nosy and annoying about. Dejectedly, Ni-ki skates past and hops off his board before he hits the stairs to the porch. “Just came back, too?”

“You could’ve picked me up if you went to a convenience store anyway,” Ni-ki sulks and unlocks the door, jiggles the doorknob and ‘breaks’ the door open with brute force. It gets jammed sometimes (all the times), so this is the only way to open the front door. “There were so many drunk guys on the bus - one of them even threw up on the seat next to him!” Public transport is great. It’s environmentally friendly, cheaper than gas, scheduled punctually, and very accessible. If only it wasn’t for the other passengers…

“I wasn’t at a convenience store?” Sunghoon excuses himself, confused and kicks off his shoes. When Ni-ki takes a closer look at his plastic bag, it’s filled with two or three clothing items. Ni-ki turns on the light, maybe he can see the content better then, but the bulb flickers alive for a few seconds, then dies. Great. Just great. 

“Right, right,” Ni-ki nods diligently and places his skateboard against the wall, “You went to sneak out your girlfriend from her strict parents.”

“Not a girlfriend,” Sunghoon hums defensively and skips down the hallway to their right to his bedroom, “And his parents aren’t strict.”

“Would really love to meet this guy!” Ni-ki shouts after him and fumbles in the dark for the railing of the stairs. The bulb for the stairs gave up a week ago and Ni-ki hasn’t had the time to replace it yet. For now, he’ll just have to hope he doesn’t hit his small toe and make this house his place of death. 

Sunoo and Jake’s rooms are also on the ground floor. Lucky them. The only other rooms that are in the second story, which is actually just the attic, are the big bathroom, Ni-ki’s bedroom, and another room they’ve managed to turn into the living room. Two months ago, their old housemate moved out. Some guy whose name they have all forgotten, mainly because he was never actually home, and otherwisely because he was only locked in his own bedroom if he was home. 

In short: only Ni-ki struggles with the lightbulb for the stairs, and none of his house mates are nice enough to help him! He can barely afford his food, how is he supposed to buy a new lightbulb! This is oppression of the poor. 

—

By the time Ni-ki falls into his comfortable but cold bed, it’s almost four am. He doesn’t feel tired yet, so he checks in on his friends and family he left behind in Japan when he came to study in Korea, their posts and messages they sent him. His older sister posted a new dance cover, so he likes the video but makes sure to comment with a monkey emoji. His mom sent him a picture of his dog Bisco chewing on the aloe vera that was standing in their kitchen, followed by a picture of the plant in the trash, followed by another picture of Bisco at the vet. He asks if everything is okay, but his mom isn’t awake to reply. Kei got scolded by his mom for only drinking tea instead of water, followed by another video where his mom is still scolding him in the background, but Kei is choking on one of the loose leafs that went from his teacup into his throat. Nicholas went shopping with his sister. Euijoo bought another lego set. Taki…

Ni-ki closes the app and goes back to his homescreen. 

Their breakup was a mutual thing, and it was almost three years ago (two and a half, to be exact), right before Ni-ki left Japan. He isn’t even hung up on Taki anymore, but the nostalgia sucks. He hasn’t been on any dates since he came to Korea because the dating culture is so much scarier here for some reason, and the only action his love life has gotten was maybe the teeny tiny puppy crush he used to have on Jake - right up until he met Sunoo and decided he should set those two up instead. 

With a sigh, Ni-ki reaches for his jeans that he swapped out for sweats, discarded somewhere on his floor, and checks all the pockets for the number that Heeseung wrote him down. He could have just sent it to Ni-ki over text message, but Heeseung loves flirtatious jokes, even when he isn’t flirting. 

Private Chat: Yang Jungwon (LHS’s friend)

Hello? Is this Yang Jungwon-ssi?

I’m Ni-ki, I got your number from Heeseung-hyung because I want to apply for the babysitter job :)

And because Ni-ki isn’t stupid, he knows it’s unreasonable to expect an answer at almost four am. Besides, he has a class at ten am the next morning (this morning?), so he decides to call it a night and goes to sleep. 

—

Ni-ki should’ve stayed up for another ten minutes. 

During breakfast with Sunoo, he checks his phone again because, well, he’s young and addicted to screens, and he almost spits out his mushy cereal. Yang Jungwon, that maniac, sent a reply to his messages at 4:03 am. While he doesn’t spit out his food, he sure chokes on it. 

“You okay?” Sunoo asks him, uninterested, and continues to chew on his microwaved tteokbokki leftovers. 

“Heeseung-hyung’s friend sent me a message at 4 am,” he coughs and shows his screen to Sunoo who sits next to him. He checks the chat for less than a second before he scoffs. 

“Not even a profile picture of him,” he mutters under his breath and flips his hair, cheek still stuffed full and round from food, “Can’t even tell if he’s cute.” Things like that aren’t important to Ni-ki. He needs the job because he needs money. And, well, since the kid is a preschooler, it’s good practice for him. Not that elementary school teachers don’t practice enough before they can attain their teaching license, but, well, Ni-ki wants to start with one kid first before he’s thrown into a classroom of thirty. 

Besides, Sunoo only wants to know if he’s cute because he wants to gossip. So Ni-ki turns his screen back to himself. 

Private Chat: Yang Jungwon (LHS’s friend)

Hi.

Yes, you got the right number. I’d like to meet you first before I hire you, is today at 1:15 pm here [1 location attached] okay?

I only have time during my lunch break today. 

Hii, yeah! I can do 1:15

See you!

“Oh, I know that bakery!” Sunoo exclaims through his never-ending munches (how many leftovers does he have) and taps at Ni-ki’s screen, “Very nice one. Close to campus. I’ll give you money so you can try the lime pie there, I think you’ll like it.”

“Don’t,” Ni-ki swallows hard at the sight of Sunoo pulling out his wallet, “I already owe you so much gas money.”

“The rides are free, idiot!” Sunoo sputters in protest and turns back around to glare at him, “And I’m giving you enough so you can bring me a slice, too.”

Of course, Ni-ki will be abused as delivery boy. At least Sunoo tips.

—

Private Chat: Yang Jungwon (LHS's friend)

I’m already there

oh and btw

just so you don't get shocked

i was born 2004 :)

[sent at: 01:02 am]

—

Ni-ki has to leave his last class five minutes early so he can print out his CV and speed-skate to the bakery. Sunoo was wrong. The bakery was close to his campus, not Ni-ki’s. Never Ni-ki’s. He attends a completely different university from Sunoo anyway! Oh, the woes of not studying something that’s offered at a regular university.

The name ‘Seven Dreamers’ sounds like a nice little shop where the owner comes from a working class family and made it his dream to open a bakery, right? Well, wrong. Seven Dreamers is bustling with university students. Ni-ki can tell even from distance. He just rounded the corner to the main street, has his eyes set on the bakery a few hundred meters away and across the street already, when his phone rings and he has to jump off his skateboard. Road safety is important!

Caller ID: Yang Jungwon (LHS’s friend)

Needless to say, he picks up immediately. It could be something important, like an emergency coming up, and they have to cancel their meeting, or maybe he already found a better babysitter even though he barely gave Ni-ki a chance to apply, or maybe —

“Ni-ki-ssi?” Jungwon’s voice comes through his headphones (okay, maybe road safety isn’t that important), and he sounds… young. Ni-ki isn’t sure what he expected, but Jungwon’s voice is weirdly high-pitched and soft. 

“Yes, I can hear you,” he says once he takes his board into his free hand. From this distance, it’s fine if he just speed walks like a middle aged woman who says she wants to work out but doesn’t have the stamina to go jogging, and he doesn’t want to risk falling off his board. He’s only one minute late anyway, that can’t be the reason why he’s already being rejected from the job, right? … Right…? “I’m so sorry I’m late, I wanted to print out my CV but the printer was out of ink and out of paper, and the librarian was suddenly gone an - “

“Oh, that’s okay,” Jungwon’s laugh also sounds young. And nice. Very nice. Well, he is very nice to reassure Ni-ki he can still show up to the interview and not be completely humiliated by his own tardiness. “I just wanted to call to tell you that I’m outside the bakery to take a client’s call. Uhm, I’m wearing a black and white checkered flannel. Just wave when you see me.” 

“Okay, sure.”

Jungwon hangs up without saying bye. 

Ni-ki looks down at his phone to stare at the contact info, stupefied. Must be a very important client if he hangs up so suddenly. Whatever. All he has to look for is some guy in a black and white flannel shirt, leave a good and reliable impression despite being late and —

Ni-ki freezes. He’s only one two-lane street away from Seven Dreamers now and has the perfect view of who stands in front of the bakery. There is a group of high school girls checking out the menu, two university students on a date, and — 

Group Chat: NO MOVING OUT XX

Ni-ki: 

guys

GUYS ㅠㅠ 

WE HAVE A CODE RED 127

THE DAD IS HANDSOME

Kim Oosun:

A DILF?!

Dad hyung:

NO

both of you are too young for dilfs

Ni-ki:

guys

wtfff 

omg

he's so beautiful what do i do

WHAT DO I DO

Dad hyung:

Niki, are you even reading my messages??

you are TOO YOUNG TO DATE A DAD

Ice princess:

i agree with jake

niki, this man has a wholeass daughter??

Ni-ki:

no guys LOOK

LOOK

HE IS SO AGSHSGHAJD

[1 image attached]

Kim Oosun:

wow thanks for the shaky and blurry stalker pic ಠ_ಠ 

WHOA???

Dad hyung:

THATS A DAD???

Ice princess:

he looks like he could be my little brother ಠ_ಠ 

niki he looks like he could be YOUR little brother ಠ_ಠ 

is he the kids brother??

Ni-ki:

NO

we called earlier and he said he's outside the bakery in a flannel so ITS HIM

oh just read his messages...

he's a year younger than sunoo hyung!

Kim Oosun:

A YEAR YOUNGER??

niki are you gonna babysit or sit with a baby

imagine having a kid already ಥ_ಥ 

Ni-ki:

HEY

dont be a hater >:(

this gorgeous hardworking man is just trying to find a babysitter for his precious daughter so he can provide her a good life and youre only spreading negative energy 

Dad hyung:

Riki. 

we're talking about someone who's 22.

the daughter can't be older than 3, are you gonna be fine with an infant??

Ice princess:

yeah! 

infants aren't the same as elementary schoolers

they haven't even gained their consciousness yet

Ni-ki:

well his profile on babysit-me.com says his daughter recently turned six and is starting school next year sooo

also, he's handsome

a little more support here! 

Ice princess:

omg a teen dad ㅠㅠ 

that's so sad, he must be so stressed

ur right

do ur babysitter thing

Dad hyung:

niki has ZERO (0!!!) babysitter experience !!!

also, what about the mom??

Ni-ki:

gonna walk up to him now

wish me luck!

Ice princess:

Good luck!!

Kim Oosun:

dont embarrass yourself

Dad hyung:

NIKI NO ㅠㅠ

Pocketing his phone, Ni-ki jogs further down the street before he crosses it. He keeps his eyes fixed on Jungwon, his oversized flannel hanging off his small frame, the comfortable pants bunching up around his ankles, the beanie sitting on top of his head. Jungwon looks shorter than Ni-ki, even from a distance, and his fluffy brown hair shines brightly in the sunlight. He's on his phone, calmly listening to whatever the person on the other end is telling him. 

Ni-ki is right across the bakery when he decides it time to wave. But how does he wave? A small wave might not catch his attention, but a big wave might seem to enthusiastic and childish. Does he only wave once? No, he should wave at least twice. 

He keeps struggling with the perfect way to wave at Jungwon and catch his attention for so long that, by the time he clasps a hand around his elbow and dramatically shakes his own arm, Jungwon is already watching him. When Ni-ki looks up, their gazes meet, and Jungwon's lips lift up into a smile. Great! Okay. That worked too. He just totally embarrassed himself in front of the whole street and left a weird first impression, but at least he... attempted to wave. 

"This is going great," Ni-ki mutters under his breath, checks the road for incoming cars from both directions twice, then jogs up to Jungwon across the street. He would love to say that he's doing it confidently, but the closer he gets to Jungwon, the – well, the closer he gets to Jungwon. He wasn't kidding when he said that Jungwon is handsome, and the closer he steps, the more visible his attractive details become. An overall cute face with sharp, feline eyes, a jawline that's only bested by Jay's, and neatly groomed eyebrows partially hidden behind fluffy bangs. Even in the oversized flannel (that, by the way, but Ni-ki never said that because he's not a creep, reveals prominent collarbones and smooth, pale skin), Ni-ki can tell that Jungwon is slim. Ni-ki almost wants to throw himself to the ground. His chest hurts. Is this a heart attack? He's only twenty, he's too young for a heart attack! 

"Hi," Jungwon offers him a dimpled smile after he hangs up and slides his phone into his pocket. He bows, and Ni-ki does the same. "I guess you're Ni-ki-ssi?"

"Yes, that's right," Ni-ki answers in the most polite speaking form he knows in Korean. When he first arrived, he got into a lot of trouble for always addressing people casually. He blames it all on Sunoo who was his first friend here, and still insists on talking to people casually unless they're teachers or professors.

"Should we go inside?" Jungwon suggests and opens the door for Ni-ki. No! He's an established gentleman! Ni-ki should have been the one to hold  the door open for him. That might've been able to fix whatever impression he left as the idiot across the street who doesn't know how to wave at people. "The lime pie here is great."

"I know, it's my favourite from here!" Ni-ki lies straight through his teeth with a grin and wants to slam his head against the glass panel in the door. He never tried the lime pie here. He didn't even know this bakery existed until today. He's leaving such a horrible first impression on Jungwon. 

'Focus! You want that job.'

'I want to hold his hand...'

'You met him one minute ago!'

'I want to pat his tummy...'

'Job interview!!'

'A little forehead kiss maybe?'

Ni-ki comes back to his senses when his butt meets the plush seat of the armchair, and the plate with two lime pies and two cups of hot chocolate are set down on the table. He snaps out of his rose-coloured daydream and scrambles for his wallet but Jungwon is quick to wave him off. 

"You said you were late because you wanted to print your CV?" Jungwon gets straight to the point, no pleasantries. He must be a busy man, with a job and a daughter and all. "May I see it?"

"Of course." Ni-ki pulls out his laptop for lectures, grabs between the gap of the keyboard and the screen and pulls out a perfectly straight piece of paper – with his CV cut in half. His shoulders sag down, shocked. He was in such a hurry that he didn't check the settings of the printer, and now, his CV is only shown until his education, on only one side of the paper, too. "Uh. Wait."

He puts his laptop on the table and opens his CV as a PDF document. Jungwon takes it on his lap and scrolls through the few lines written there. 

"You're studying elementary education?" he asks Ni-ki curiously and glances up. It's probably just because of lighting, but his eyes sparkle. Ni-ki gulps nervously. Come to think of it, he has never done a job interview before. Heeseung just hired him because Ni-ki bought strawberry milk and pointed at the 'looking for help' sign while he paid. 

"Yes, I'm starting my fifth semester," he responds shakily and slices a bite off his lime pie. "I'm studying for arts and Korean." 

"Even though you're Japanese?" Jungwon wonders and smiles. His dimples appear, and Ni-ki swears he could drown in them. Hopefully, his own grin doesn't look as painful as it feels. His cheeks will never recover from this.

"Well, it's because I had to learn it, too, right?" Ni-ki tells him with an embarrassed chuckle, "So I like to think I know how it should be taught."

"Your Korean is very good," Jungwon compliments him, and Ni-ki figuratively melts in his seat. He spent his entire last year of high school in Japan studying Korean by himself until he fell asleep at his desk more often than in his bed, as well as preparing for the Suneung. It's good to know that it paid off. "You don't have any babysitter experience, though."

Waging the pros and cons. Jungwon must've done a few of these interviews already. 

"I'm good with kids," Ni-ki offers, "That's the main reason why I'm studying education, you see? If you have any concerns, you could let me meet your daughter first before you decide." 

"Mhm," Jungwon hums and scrolls a little further down. He freezes, eyes scanning over the screen again, before he bursts into giggles. "I'm sorry. Am I... supposed to see this?" He turns the laptop back around so Ni-ki can look at the screen, and he wants to jump through the window. 

There, in the CV document, is a list of reminders of what he should do to leave a good impression, as well as a list of reasons why he wants the job. 

for interview: neat appearance (NO baseball cap!!), bowing (!), print CV, be on time, mature, reliable, FORMAL LANGUAGE (dont talk to sunoo hyung for three hours before the interview) 

1 good pay (fix lightbulb)

2 kid! i love kids ♡ 

3 heeseung hyung will congratulate me a lot

4 practice for elementary school teacher 

5 i will teach her so may cool tricks and have tea parties without sunghoon hyung being there to make fun of me 

Ni-ki chokes on his piece of pie. Great. This is mortifying. He couldn't even savour the tangy, sour and sweet taste of it. Jungwon must see his shocked face and bursts into laughter. He closes the laptop and returns it to Ni-ki while reaching over to give his shoulders some encouraging pats. 

"You okay?" he asks Ni-ki between his dying down chuckles and smiles, "I once put my baby picture on a CV for an application, so this isn't that bad."

'I want to see his baby pictures!'

'Just look at him. I'm sure it's the same.'

'You are so right, me.'

—

The interview, at one point, just flows into a casual conversation. Very casual, in fact. So casual, that Jungwon offered him 'hyung' instead of 'ssi' and Ni-ki almost cried from happiness. They're already that close! He's on 'hyung' basis!

Ni-ki can already picture their wedding. 

Talking to Jungwon is comfortable. He learns a few things about him and his daughter Jieun, and in return, Ni-ki talks a little about himself. Nothing too deep, only the surface level of things. He went to school in Japan, came to study in Korea, his friends and family are still in Japan, he lives with Sunoo, Sunghoon and Jake and how he met them and what living with them is like, that he rents a dance studio on the weekends for himself, that his landlady sucks. 

Jungwon already works, never attended a university. He started off as rookie journalist for an unknown newspaper, switched to publishing editor. Jieun turned six on the 27th July, so not too long ago. He knows Jay because the convenience store is close to his apartment. 

"And all I see is Jay-hyung raising his hand above his head and he just freezes like that!" Ni-ki retells his second day at work, and Jungwon laughs loudly. His dimples are really deep. Ni-ki kind of wants to poke him. Jungwon would probably make a noise like a squeaky toy. "Heeseung-hyung didn't even see him, so he never got that high five."

"Yeah, that happens a lot," Jungwon forces through quieter laughter, "Gosh, I still have to meet his husband."

"He's married?" Ni-ki gasps and almost drops his half empty cup of hot chocolate (it's a really good hot chocolate, too). "No way. Since when? How? To whom?"

"No clue," Jungwon shrugs and pushes out his bottom lip. He has a little milk foam moustache. Ni-ki needs to kiss him. "He won't show me a picture. And apparently they don't even live together. Can't find an apartment or something."

"Reminds me of Sunghoon-hyung," Ni-ki mutters and grimaces at the memory of running into Sunghoon earlier today / tonight / whatever. He gasps. "You don't think... probably not, right?"

"I don't think so," Jungwon agrees. Before Ni-ki can change the topic, or dive into yet another rant about Sunghoon's suspicious behaviour, Jungwon's alarm on his phone goes off. He checks his screen, gasps, and jumps up from his seat which is, in Ni-ki's totally unbiased, unwhipped opinion, adorable. So cute. He needs to kiss Jungwon. Or jump into a lake to cool off. "I have to go. Jay-hyung's parents are watching her right now, but they have date night so I have to pick her up." 

"That's cool," Ni-ki smiles, teasing, "You don't have a babysitter just yet, so you should go."

Jungwon snorts, a cute, small sound that will replay in Ni-ki's head once he tries to go to sleep tonight. 

"You should meet her this weekend," Jungwon suggests, "I'm not hiring a babysitter she doesn't like." Ni-ki perks up. He made it through the first round? Nice! 

"Sure," he croaks, feels his face heat up, "I'm free this weekend."

"Alright," Jungwon nods and grabs his stuff, "I'll text you!" And then, he sprints out of the bakery, hair fluttering wildly with every step he takes, and leaves Ni-ki behind in some sort of trance that he can't be bothered to break out of. 

For a few moments, he stares at Jungwon's now empty armchair and the white porcelain cup he left behind. Then, still in trance, he gets up from his own armchair, grabs his bag and his skateboard, and leaves. 

Sunoo's order of a slice of lime pie has long been forgotten. 

—

Jungwon's laugh is still the only thing he can hear in his mind when Ni-ki rips his front door open, never mind the fact that it almost falls out of its hinges and slams a hole into the wall, or the fact that he trips over black leather Prada shoes that he's never seen before, and announces with his voice booming through the entire house, 

"I just fell in love with the most gorgeous man in the universe!"

Sunoo and Jake step out of the kitchen to stare at him with blank faces. Sunghoon comes out of his hermit room to just ominously stand in the hallway. Ni-ki, crazed and on a sudden adrenaline trip, slams the door shut again and throws himself to the ground where he promptly curls up.

"Oh my God, it's so horrible," he groans and covers his beet red face with his hands, "He is so beautiful and sweet and cute and he's the perfect height for forehead kisses and I embarrassed myself so badly. I have to get this job."

"My condolences," Sunghoon tells him coldly and goes back into his room, slamming and locking the door behind him.

Jake only sighs. Sunoo meanwhile notices the lack of bag in which Ni-ki would have brought him the pie. He starts to complain, but Ni-ki is too busy being in love to care.

[+]

Jungwon doesn't bother to check his phone again until he's tucked Jieun in. It's close to eight pm now, and he still has to order dinner for himself. Still, he supposes that can wait until he thanked Heeseung for the babysitter recommendation.

Group Chat: heejay and baby

Heeseung hyung:

how did the interview go

Jungwon:

great! 

Heeseung hyung:

did you already decide?

Jungwon:

i did

thanks for the babysitter :)))

now only Jieun has to like him too...

Heeseung hyung:

no problem!

Jay hyung:

niki is very reliable so Jieun will be in good hands dw

Heeseung hyung:

even tho you always give the kid so much shit...

Jay hyung:

that's because when he doesn't have anything to do, he just stands in aisle three and stares at the ramyeon

not even chilling on his phone or anything ㅠㅠ 

Jungwon:

cute

Heeseung hyung:

yeah he's really cute right?

Jungwon:

yes 

thanks again for watching jieun while i went to the interview 

Jay hyung:

no prob! mom loves her to bits anyway :)

Heeseung hyung:

yeah and you dont huh

Jay hyung:

i love her the most

Jungwon:

no you don't. 

Chapter Text

Ni-ki has rarely been this nervous before. He tries to distract himself by annoying Sunoo and Jake (unsuccesfully), or asking Sunghoon about his visitor from earlier that week. None of them have the money for Prada shoes, and they’re not Sunghoon’s either. His feet are bigger than that.  But also, he’s unsuccessful. Sunghoon dodges all questions or only gives vague, mysterious answers. 

“Proof enough that it’s a guy at least?” Sunghoon huffs over the breakfast table and shoves a fork of scrambled eggs into his downturned mouth, “Stop calling him a girl.”

“He just doesn't want to think about meeting this Jungwon guy again," Jake teases him and wrestles Ni-ki out of his chair with loud protests. 

"I am perfectly fine meeting him again!" Ni-ki exclaims from the ground and jabs a finger at Jake's side as the older sits up again. Which, of course, is a total lie. He spent the entire night awake anticipating the morning and rereading Jungwon's messages last night. 

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung !

I'll send you my address, okay? Jieun doesn't feel like going out tomorrow :,)

that's okay! i'll come after breakfast? 

Yeah, that would be great! 

[1 location attached]

Second floor, apartment 209

Do you think you can make it at 11 am? 

sure! my roommate can drive me before he goes on his date with his totally real lover :p

If I could find a babysitter to watch Jieun, I'd say let's stalk him >:3

but jay hyung is also "busy"

and finding a babysitter is literally why I can't leave my house lmao 

I'll watch her another time you want to stalk someone then :)

We'll see ;)

When Jungwon sent the winky face, Ni-ki almost threw himself to the ground and curled up on the carpet he was pacing around on. Was that a good sign? A bad sign? He already passed the interview with Jungwon, and now he only has to leave a good impression on Jieun, too. It almost feels like meeting his in-laws. It's probably more nerve wrecking than meeting in-laws. If Jieun doesn't like him, she'll be ruthlessly honest about it. Kids can be so cruel in their opinions.

"Is that why you look dead?" Sunoo snorts and flicks his fringe out of his face, "Your eye bags look horrible." 

"You're overthinking again," Jake scolds him through a mouthful of microwaved pancakes, "Don't do that. Kids like who they like. Just try not to be a menace to her and you'll be fine."

"I am an angel sent from God!" Ni-ki protests and earns himself a round of crazy laughter. "Okay, stop laughing! This is not funny."

They seem to find it extremely funny. But it's not funny, at all. Ni-ki's rent depends on this job – and his future husband! If he doesn't become Jieun's babysitter, Ni-ki will have to look for another job. And then, he will be disappointed, his roommates will be disappointed and Jungwon will be disappointed. Oh, he will be so disappointed in Ni-ki. Just thinking about it makes him sad. 

"You'll do fine," Jake reassures him and waves lamely, as if all of Ni-ki's concerns would vanish with a simple gush of air, "Kids love you! And Jungwon seems to like you, too."

"You think?" If Ni-ki had the tail and ears of a dog, they'd be perked up now. Heck, he's panting like one. 

Jake stares at him for a few seconds. Blinks. Once. Twice. 

"No."

—

Jake has to help him with his outfit. Together with Sunoo. And Sunghoon. He wants to look like a reliable adult, but not too stiff. He wants to look warm and friendly to Jieun, but not too cute. He wants to look cool, but not in a ragged, intimidating way. Finding an outfit turns out to be very difficult with all those conditions. 

"No ripped jeans," Sunghoon sighs and folds the pants back up, "You'll look like a punk."

"Ni-ki, why do you only have ripped or baggy jeans?" Sunoo drawls, exasperated, and flops onto the bed with a groan, "This is gonna take ages!"

"We don't have the time for that," Ni-ki complains as he pulls out a grey zip sweater. "Quick, someone find me a clean, white shirt to this!"

"None in your closet," Jake laughs, "You should do your laundry this week. I'll lend you one, wait." Jake rushes out of Ni-ki's room and leaves the door wide open. He basically flings himself down the narrow staircase that will be someone's death sooner or later as everybody else scrambles to find a non-crusty pair of black pants somewhere among Ni-ki's clothes. He could swear that he used to be cleaner than this. 

"Found one!" Sunoo announces triumphantly and holds the pair of pants up like a trophy. Ni-ki rips it out of his hands hastily and doesn't bother to wait for anybody to turn around before he changes into them – much to Sunghoon's chagrin. 

"Warn a guy, oh my God," he complains and turns around fast enough to give someone whiplash. But not Ni-ki. Ni-ki has enough on his plate taking off his shirt and waiting for Jake to come back with a new one and debating whether he should just go to Jake's or wait in his room, or go to Jakes, or wait in his room, or –

"Here you go!" 

Jake pops back into the room with a wide grin and a white shirt clutched in his hand like a sad lump. Ni-ki takes it anyway and pulls it over his head. Just then, his phone chimes with another message. 

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung !

Just a heads up, Jieun is a bit grumpy today "•_•

we didn't have pop tarts for breakfast 

sorry ~

all good! 

can we make it 11:05 am?

uh, sure?

"Sunghoon-hyung," Ni-ki slides his sweater on and zips it up. He trips over the piles of clothing on his floor. This is going to be a pain in the ass to clean up again. "We gotta make a detour."

"I'm gonna be so late to my date."

—

"You got this!" Sunghoon cheers him on from the driver's seat, Jake and Sunoo in the backseat and waiting to be dropped off for their own date. Ni-ki has no idea why they also had to get a ride from Sunghoon when Sunoo has his own driver's license and car. Probably because Sunoo is a menace on the road and Jake isn't suicidal. "Woo your man's child, baby!"

"Don't make it sound weird!" Ni-ki protests weakly as he glances back at the apartment complex they stopped in the inner courtyard. It's not very tall, a total of five floors, and the hallways are open. Still, it seems to be a fairly modern building. The walls have been painted white, and they look white, too. There are no open cables or cracked floor tiles. There even is an elevator!

"Don't be nervous," Sunghoon cheers him up, "You got this!"

Ni-ki did not get this. He doesn't. His hands are too sweaty and clammy to get anything, even the car's door. He struggles to close it after he climbs out of the passenger seat. It’s unnerving how nervous Ni-ki is. He’s just meeting a kid! He even made the effort to buy pop tarts to bribe her. The expensive ones with artificially sweet strawberry flavour (those are the best, fight him). The ones that Ni-ki actually can't afford because he's broke as fuck.

“Ni-ki, it’s 11:04 am now,” Sunoo urges him and points towards the building, “Go!”

Ni-ki lets out the most frustrated and embarrassing croak at that, turns on his heels and runs towards the building.

“The door?!” Sunghoon protests, but there is no turning back now. Ni-ki is going up to that apartment and meeting Jieun to land this babysitter job. She sounds lovely. She must look like her dad, with cute feline eyes, an idol-like nose and deep dimples.

He decides against taking the elevator. There is too much energy overflowing from his system right now, and he’s not sure why. No, he knows exactly why but he just finds it so silly. Ni-ki is long past the age for dumb teenage crushes.

With a shuddering breath, he raps his knuckles against the metal door of Jungwon’s apartment. He feels a little dizzy, and he’s definitely sweating. Checking with the back of his palm, Ni-ki touches his face and, yep, his face is warm. He wants to blame it on the fact that he ran up the stairs, but he doesn’t like lying to himself. There are only that many things he can deny, and this is not one of them. He runs a hand through the strands of his fringe sticking to his forehead to push them away from his face. That’s when the door swings open.

Jungwon peers up to Ni-ki through his beautiful lashes and a welcoming smile etched on his face. He’s dressed casually in grey sweatpants and a brown cardigan over a white t-shirt. His hair looks fluffier than last time. Has he become more handsome, too? Wow.

“Hii,” he greets Ni-ki with a flushed face, and he sounds as out of breath as Ni-ki feels. Jungwon opens the door wider to let him step in, and he toes off his shoes carefully. The entry hallway is very short. It’s barely long enough for the shoe rack to not stick out. Ni-ki spots three small pairs of shoes, one pair of sneakers, one pair of boots, and one pair of loafers, and he wants to coo because the shoes are just so small, especially next to Jungwon’s big ones, and next to Ni-ki’s even bigger ones. Is it too early to imagine himself coming home to this? Probably. “Jieun is in her room. She’s still sulking and won’t come out, but she also doesn’t want anybody in there right now, so… a cup of coffee?”

“No, thanks,” Ni-ki declines and hangs his jacket on the wall rack. He places his skateboard against the door and looks around awkwardly. Jungwon’s apartment is small. He just came through the door and basically stepped right into the kitchen to his left. A tiny, squared pop-up table shoved against the wall opposite of the kitchen with three chairs serves as the dining area. The living room is nothing more but a tiny nook to his right, laid out with a fluffy carpet and a basket for Jieun’s toys. It looks properly lived in, and Ni-ki feels like a creep trying to pry into Jungwon’s privacy and imagining what he looks like just going on about his day here. How Jungwon watches Jieun play in the living room from his laptop and work on the dining table, how they come home, and he helps her take off her shoes so she can run down the hallway to her room. Whichever of the four doors leads to her bedroom. “I’m not a coffee drinker.”

Lies. Ni-ki drinks coffee, but he doesn’t want his breath to smell like it. He remembers that, as a kid, he didn’t like it when his uncle hugged him while his breath smelled like coffee. Maybe Jieun is the same. Better safe than sorry.

“Even better,” Jungwon giggles as he goes to his tiptoes and opens one of the kitchen cabinets above the counter, “I only have hot chocolate anyway. Or, uh, strawberry milk powder.” Jungwon pulls the tin box of milk powder out of the cabinet with a lopsided grin and presents it to Ni-ki with an apologetic frown.

“Sorry,” Jungwon tells him and closes the cabinet again, “It’s Jieun’s favourite.”

Ni-ki already loves the kid.

“It’s my favourite, too,” he tells Jungwon eagerly and steps further into the apartment. It’s small, and a little cramped. It feels homey and warm. It feels like Jungwon. “Maybe you can lure her out with it. That’s what Sunoo-hyung always does.”

“For you, I assume?” Jungwon chuckles in amusement and takes out mugs from another cabinet and a box of milk from the fridge. Ni-ki’s face heats up with embarrassment again. Oh God, he can’t just say one cool thing about himself that would make him seem less like an overgrown toddler, can he? “But it’s a good idea… Can you tell I spoil her too much?”

“A little,” Ni-ki smiles mirthfully, “Are you one of those parents that let the babysitter do all the disciplining?”

“God, no,” Jungwon groans and rolls his eyes, “Jieun is stubborn. She won’t listen to anybody but me, so I just need someone to make sure nothing bad happens to her while I’m meeting clients.” Wow. Meeting clients. That’s such a grown-up thing to do. Not even Sunoo has any clients to meet, and he’s a year older than Jungwon.

“Yeah, I can definitely do that,” Ni-ki nods dutifully and watches as Jungwon stirs the powder into the cold milk. His arms draw circles in fluid motions, and Ni-ki has a terrible, terrible realisation as he keeps staring. Jungwon’s back is attractive. It looks broad and dependable and moves, holy fuck.

‘Relax,’ he scolds himself and decides it would be best to sit down at the dining table and stare at the wall. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. The wall right next to the kitchen that Ni-ki looks at even has one of those stereotypical family portraits of Jungwon and – who he assumes – Jieun. Never mind. It was not a better idea to look at that because they’re dressed in cute little sailor uniforms, and Jieun looks exactly like her dad. A carbon copy of him. She has the feline eyes and cute nose and deep dimples, and her curly hair is pushed back by a red hairband. And she’s tiny.

‘Don’t look at him.’

‘Sailor uniform – ‘

‘Don’t look at him! Don’t be an otaku!’

‘I’m not an otaku.’

‘Then why are we freaking out about a sailor uniform – ‘

‘Jungwon-hyung in a sailor uniform.’

‘No! Shut up!’

Maybe it’s the lesser evil to look at Jungwon again. Thankfully, he's done stirring the strawberry milk, so his back muscles aren't not moving anymore. Ni-ki should work out his back more. He wants to appear less lanky and have broad shoulders, too.

"I'll go and try to get her out of her room now," Jungwon tells him softly as he puts down the three cups and hurries off into the hallway deeper into the apartment. Ni-ki doesn't even get to utter his 'okay' before Jungwon is out of sight. But not out of earshot. He can hear Jungwon's knuckles rap against the wooden door, as well as his voice as he calls out, "Jieun, are you still upset? Aren't you going to say hello to our visitor?"

Ni-ki has to strain his ears a bit, but he hears the reply muffled through the door. A high pitched but assertive voice shouts, "No thanks!", followed by Jungwon's sigh.

"Come on," he urges her in a high-pitched voice. Oh God. Is this what people refer to as baby talk? Jieun is stronger than Ni-ki because he would've bolted out of that room. "I think you'll like him! His favourite is also strawberry milk. I even made some for you. Don't you want it?"

"No thanks!" comes muffled through the door again, and Ni-ki has to bite back a grin. He gets up from the chair, grabs the box of pop tarts from his backpack and jogs over to Jungwon, who is pressing his head against the wooden door.

"At least she says 'thanks'?" Ni-ki offers as his condolence and shakes the box, "Can I try?"

"Go ahead," Jungwon sighs and eyes the box of pop tarts. "Good luck."

Ni-ki is confident that doesn't need any luck. All he needs is the power of bribery and strawberry pop tarts. And maybe a little luck. Who knows how well Jungwon warned Jieun about strangers.

"Jieun-ah?" he calls out to her through the door and crouches down, "My name's Ni-ki. Can you open the door?"

"I can't," she replies with a giggle and seems to walk even further away from the door. Not by much, but enough to make her voice a little bit more stifled.

"She's too short to reach the handle," Jungwon explains to him, leaning down to whisper over Ni-ki's shoulder. Jungwon's breath fans across the side of his neck. It's warm. It smells like gum. Ni-ki falls a little deeper in love with him.

"Are you gonna be my second dad?" Jieun asks through the door, and something behind the door is being moved. It sounds like... something is being dragged across a carpet? "If you are, then I'll say hi."

Ni-ki splutters, caught off guard. How did she know?

Jungwon doesn't fare any better. He breaks into violent coughing and has to sink to his knees to hide his red face in them, so neither of them are able to answer Jieun's question.

"Sorry," Jungwon manages to whisper-yell between coughs, "Ever since she learnt that one of her friends has two moms, she's been very adamant about having two dads."

"Well, is he?" Jieun asks impatiently and whines. "I want two have two dads, too!"

"N-No," Ni-ki stutters, and his voice cracks. Great. He's so cool for that. "I'll take care of you when Jungwon-hyung has to be boring and go to work."

"My appa can be really boring," Jieun agrees, and Jungwon makes a wounded, protesting noise.

"Right?" Ni-ki decides to go along. Jieun sounds very self-assured in her opinion (that he doesn't agree with), "I'm so cool that I even brought you pop tarts! So, will you come say hi to me?"

"Can you open the door for me?"

Ni-ki silently cheers and pumps his fist in victory before he pushes the door handle down and reveals a small kid that looks no older than five, dressed in a duck onesie. Her hair is split into two neat braids that stick out from beneath the hood pulled over her head, and her bangs are almost hidden under the onesie's plush beak. He puts the box of pop tarts down in the hallway and cries internally. She's so cute.

"Jieun!" Jungwon chides and ushers her back into the room, "I told you to dress properly!"

"I am dressed properly!" she protests with more whining but lets herself be led back into the room, "We're not going outside anyway, right?" Ni-ki peers inside. He immediately notices that it's the only room where the wall colour isn't white. Instead, it's a peach pink, decorated with white butterflies pinned all over the walls. Jieun's bed is a simple wooden frame painted white, and glow-in-the-dark stars are stuck to the ceiling above. A wooden dresser is pushed into the corner where Jieun and Jungwon stand. Toys and dolls are scattered on the sheep carpet (oh God, a sheep carpet, Ni-ki is going to squeal from cuteness), and there is a singular picture frame standing on the bedside table.

"No, you don't have to go outside," Jungwon tells her patiently and opens her dresser, "You can stay at home when I go to the grocery store later, but I still want you dressed properly."

"But I'm not even going anywhere," Jieun protests, deadpan. Still, she opens her dresser and pulls out comfortable pants and a little sweater with a cat print. This will be the death of Ni-ki. He can't look at a cute kid with a shirt with an even cuter animal that resembles her a little too much and simply not be devastated. "Can papa help me dress?"

"Who," Jungwon responds, just as deadpan as Jieun. "Do I have a new name now?"

Jieun, without saying a word but with a blank face, stretches her short arm and points a chubby finger at Ni-ki. No. Her face morphs into an almost upset sulk. Oh God. She's so cute. Ni-ki will gladly be her papa.

"Can I?" Ni-ki asks, maybe a little too eagerly. Come on, Ni-ki. Don't be a creep, you just want to babysit and maybe adopt her. Maybe with force. No.

"As long as she gets changed," Jungwon relents with a sigh and steps back so Ni-ki can crouch in front of Jieun. He helps her pull down the zipper of her onesie and holds her pants to the height of her knees so she can comfortably step into the pant legs, but nothing more. Jieun is capable of putting on the sweatshirt by herself.

"Thank you!" she chirps and plants a shy kiss on his cheek. No! This is devastating! He has no other choice but to adopt her.

Jieun is oblivious to his mental breakdown. While Ni-ki is still crouched on the sheep carpet's face, she pads past him into the hallway and returns with the box of pop tarts in her hands. She holds it up without a word to show it to Jungwon and grins proudly. Jungwon doesn't react.

After a few seconds of waiting, Jieun lowers the box with the most tired sigh a six-year-old can manage, carried by an exhaustion of years she couldn't have lived yet, and states, "Pop tarts."

"I can see them," Jungwon hums, teasing. A smile plays around his lips. "Isn't our guest nice to bring a gift?"

"He is," Jieun agrees, and Ni-ki almost squeals from delight. She thinks he's nice! That's a good sign for him, isn't it? That means he can become her babysitter. "Can we make them?"

"Will you stop being grumpy then?" Jungwon asks her and fakes a pout. Cute. Adorable. Ni-ki wants to kiss him.

"I'm not grumpy," Jieun grumbles, grumpy. "We're making pop tarts." She says it with as much finality and authority as a six-year-old can manage and shakes the box. Then, as if to add an afterthought, she turns around to Ni-ki, bats her eyelashes at him and asks,

"Please, papa?"

'Anything you want.'

He can't say it out loud, of course. Ni-ki is physically and mentally stronger than a child.

"Let's go!"

He almost had it.

—

Okay, so turns out Ni-ki should have watched the pop tarts in the toaster because Jungwon's toaster is so old that it doesn't catapult the pop tarts into space like Ni-ki's does. Which is a shame. He wasn't aware that some toasters don't give everyone a jump-scare. Or that they can burn the pop tarts. And the toaster.

"I'll buy you a new one!"

He's on his knees, pleading for forgiveness. Above him, Jungwon and Jieun stand with their arms crossed in front of their chests and are glaring down at him. He ruined both, the pop tarts and a perfectly fine (if not a little impractical and old-fashioned) toaster, and now he has to pay the price. With his life. Metaphorically, because they wouldn't actually kill him, but also literally because Ni-ki won't be able to afford a new toaster unless he doesn't buy groceries for the entire month until his next paycheque – and that will be in three weeks. Maybe he'll have to take a loan for the toaster. Great. Toaster dept on top of student debt. Ni-ki will start into his real adult life and his real adult job with real adult debt.

"It's okay," Jungwon relents with a sigh and un-crosses his arms. His stance is a lot less threatening now (not that Ni-ki felt very threatened, even an angry Jungwon is a cute Jungwon), and Ni-ki almost relaxes. Until he sees Jieun's glare still fixed on him. "I wanted to buy a new one anyway. At least it didn't happen when I wasn't home to put the fire out."

It will haunt Ni-ki in his dreams. The fire suddenly sprouting from the slits of the toaster, long after he already noticed the smell of smoke but just couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from, and Jungwon rushing to the kitchen counter to throw a wet towel over the flames to extinguish the flames. Jieun's shrieks sound in the background. Ni-ki is somewhere between dead and alive.

"I can pay for it," Ni-ki offers, because that's only the right thing to suggest. He broke the toaster; he can buy a new one. If he borrows some money from shady loan sharks and sells his liver. "The toaster, and more pop tarts."

"Next time you come," Jieun demands, glances at Jungwon, and uncrosses her arms, too. "Well, it's almost time for proper lunch. So, no sweets for now."

Ni-ki gapes at her. She's so responsible. Ni-ki is twenty-and-a-half years old, and he still doesn't care about whether or not he should have sweets before mealtime. What kind of parenting style is this and why is it successful? How come Jay hasn’t tried this parenting style on Ni-ki yet? (No wait, Jay is not his dad.)

“You’re right,” Jungwon agrees and pats her head. Fuck. Ni-ki wants that, too. A pat on the head. “Should we make lunch? Ni-ki, are you staying?” He looks up at Ni-ki with glistening eyes, anticipating. He has a gentle smile on his lips, as if it’s no big deal for Ni-ki to stay. For lunch. They’d have lunch together, like a family. Oh, he is so going to marry into this family.

“If it’s no hassle,” he agrees and successfully dials down the enthusiasm. “I just met this lovely young lady after all.” He smiles at down at Jieun. She returns a wide grin, even after he burnt her pop tarts. And her toaster. He's still very sorry for that. Maybe, children aren't so cruel after all.

"Then come help," Jungwon says and turns to the kitchen. Jieun follows him with a skip to her step, cheerfully despite Ni-ki almost burning down her home.

He scrambles to his feet and jumps the few steps into the kitchen, where Jungwon is already pulling fresh ingredients out of the fridge. Ni-ki peers inside, just because he's curious, and spots a few milk boxes, some tomatoes, the staple jar of kimchi in every Korean household, a bag of beansprouts, some carrots and onions. Meat. Lots of it. Jungwon takes out a package of beef.

"Can you peel the potatoes with Jieun?" he asks Ni-ki and nods into the direction of the small dining table where Jieun is already laying out old newspaper as cover. "Curry is fine, right?"

A man who cooks, and he cooks Japanese dishes? They're fated.

"Sure."

Ni-ki skips over to Jieun who's already struggling to lift the bag of potatoes onto the table with her little hands, so he comes to help her. She mutters a quiet "thank you", as if sulking and climbs onto the chair closest to the wall – and the family portrait on it. When Ni-ki turns back around after receiving two peelers, one made for children, smaller and with a plastic blade that doesn't flop around like with a normal peeler, she is sulking.

"Everything okay?" he asks her and sits down opposite of her. She takes the peeler from him without a word and sighs.

"She likes to be independent," Jungwon explains chuckling and turns around to smile at her, "Isn't that right, princess?"

"Yes," she confirms and picks up a potato. She turns it around in her hands with a scrutinising gaze and frowns. "The potatoes aren't heavy. Appa, they're small today!" She holds the potato up to show it to Jungwon with a shocked gasped.

"Yeah, it's a baby potato," Jungwon laughs. Ni-ki doesn't laugh. He also knows that small potatoes are cheaper than big potatoes. "It's you!"

"I'm not a baby potato." Jieun starts to peel the potato.

One quick glance at Jungwon and his amused smile is all it needs for Ni-ki to quickly turn away from him and pick up his own baby potato to peel, red in the face. Is it hot in this apartment? It must be, it's summer. The AC isn't turned on.

Jungwon snorts, unimpressed, but he seems to turn his attention back to the carrots on the kitchen counter, as well as the pot he puts on the stove to slowly bring the water to a boil. Ni-ki makes the grand decision of stealing another glance at him and his back. Yeah. Big mistake. Very big mistake.

He moves. Specifically, his back moves. Again.

Ni-ki tears his eyes away from Jungwon and tries to focus on peeling the baby potatoes. He is more or less successful with it. It's a lot easier to focus on Jieun swinging her legs under the table, her socked feet brushing against his knees with every kick, than the trembling of his hands, or the repeated thoughts of 'Don't stare, staring is creepy'. Heeseung once told him that Ni-ki had a staring problem – still has, apparently. And that it's very creepy. And Ni-ki doesn't want to be a creep, because what creep would be hired as a babysitter?

"Papa," Jieun calls out to him, and when Ni-ki looks up, she has a neat pile of flawlessly peeled potatoes in front of her, "Are you making chips with that?"

Ni-ki looks down to his own hands, the turquoise peeler in his left, a halved baby potato in his right. A bunch of thin potato slices on the newspaper. Great. Now he can't even peel potatoes anymore. Damn you, Yang Jungwon's attractive back.

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention," he laughs nervously and puts the potato down. It looks very sad. Sorry, baby potato. When he looks back at Jungwon again, he's already cut up the carrots and cubed the beef into bite sized chunks. "Can I help with anything else instead? I promise, I'm usually more useful."

"You can make the rice in the microwave," Jungwon constructs him patiently, and the already smoothed edges of his expression soften even more. Ni-ki jumps up from his seat eagerly as Jieun also climbs off her chair to bring her pile of potatoes to the sink to wash them. The packs of rice are neatly stacked inside a cupboard, next to colourful plastic cups. Ni-ki pulls three packs out and rips one of the lids open halfway, is already reaching for the handle of the microwave door over the oven, when Jungwon's hand stops him and gently wraps around his wrist. Tries to wrap around his wrist. Because his hand is so small, and Ni-ki's wrist is technically speaking very thin, but also not that thin.

"You know how to use a microwave, right?" Jungwon asks him teasingly and turns on the tap without looking. Jieun clambers up a little plastic stool that was leaning against the kitchen counter and starts washing her potatoes and Ni-ki's half-a-potato. Ni-ki keeps staring at Jungwon. Jungwon, and his beautiful smirk, and his tiny hand almost wrapping around Ni-ki's wrist.

"Yes," he answers after what feels like an eternity, breathless and weak, "No more attempts to burn down your kitchen. Unless I manually have to stop the microwave, too."

"Nope," Jungwon says, satisfied, and lets go of Ni-ki's wrist. He already mourns the little warmth his hand gave him. "It's fully automatic."

"Great."

"Awesome."

"Wonderful."

Jungwon stares at him, and Ni-ki stares back. Or maybe Ni-ki stares at him, and Jungwon stares back. He's not sure who started staring, but neither of them are stopping.

"Appa, the water – !"

—

Group Chat: NO MOVING OUT XX

Kim Oosun:

hows it going @Ni-ki

Ni-ki:

great!

i am having a gay panic unlike anybody else who has ever gay panicked

we're having lunch together in a bit

Ice princess:

thats so cute!

i and my man are also having lunch rn

Dad hyung:

it's "my man and I" or "me and my man"

Ice princess:

my man tells you to stfu

Kim Oosun:

tell your man to never tell my man to stfu ever again

Ice princess:

my man wants me to tell you

"no."

Ni-ki:

well MY man knows how to cook japanese!

we're destined

fated

i almost burnt down his apartment

and now i'm hiding in the bathroom to freak out

Dad hyung:

WHAT ㅠㅠ

Ice princess:

NIKI NOOOOO

Ni-ki:

his toaster doesn't pop ㅠㅠ

whose toaster doesn't pop??? ㅠㅠ

Dad hyung:

literally ours?

Ni-ki:

and how am I supposed to know that ,':|

i never toast anything

Ice princess:

hey niki

how long have you been in the bathroom

Ni-ki:

10 ish mins

Kim Oosun:

STFU

HES GONNA THINK YOURE POOPING

Ni-ki:

FUCK

—

Lunch is fun. It's almost too easy to imagine that this is Ni-ki's daily life instead of a test for him, with the smell of curry wafting through the apartment, Jieun in front of him, and Jungwon between them, seated around the small prop up dining table while Jieun happily chats away about her friends at pre-school. Ni-ki has heard more names than he can remember by this point, and Jieun doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

Doesn't matter, Ni-ki is invested in the pre-school drama anyway.

In fact, he is so invested in Jieun's retelling of Wonhee sneaking away during nap time while the teacher wasn't looking that he doesn't realise that Jungwon hasn't reacted to anything that she'd said for a while now. It's only when he feels a finger dig into the side of his mouth that he notices.

He glances to the side and comes face to face with Jungwon. Their noses are almost touching. Ni-ki can feel Jungwon's breath on his lips, as well as the thumb he's got hooked into basically his mouth. He can count each of Jungwon's eyelashes as he blinks slowly at him.

"Sorry," Jungwon apologises softly and leans back, retracts his hand, "Habit. You had curry there."

Fuck.

Ni-ki ducks his head away from Jungwon's wide-eyed stare, embarrassed. How messy of an eater does he have to be for Jungwon to wipe his mouth for him like he's a toddler? Crap.

Jungwon should really turn on the AC.

"It's cool," he croaks and coughs awkwardly to clear his throat. "Thanks."

"No problem. It's, uh, cute."

Nobody says anything for a few moments. Only the ticking of the clock on the wall can be heard in the room, and the incredibly awkward silence that stretches on forever.

Jungwon is staring at him. Ni-ki only knows because he's also staring at him.

It's only when Jieun speaks up that their staring contest ends (and the tension is cut), because she just has to ask the most embarrassing thing to ever ask someone,

"Are you gonna kiss?"

Jungwon starts coughing up his lungs. Ni-ki falls out of his chair in shock.

—

"Thank you for today," Ni-ki says on his way out and fixes the strap of his backpack to prevent it from slipping of his shoulders. He's already back out on the hallway, the summer sun piercing down on the back of his head with its death rays. Jungwon is smiling at him sheepishly and nods.

"It was very nice," he agrees and taps his fingers against the door he's holding. Shit. Ni-ki should go, it's clear that he has overstayed his welcome. "So... I'll see you again on Monday?"

Ni-ki gapes in surprise. He left such a bad impression. First the burning toaster, then the potato, then his eating habits. Surely, he can't mean –

"Papa has to come back!" Jieun insists and tugs at Jungwon's shirt. "He will, right?"

"Yeah," he confirms breathlessly and exhales, "Yeah, I'll be back on Monday." Jungwon's reaction is beautiful. Ni-ki wishes he could've filmed it, the grin spreading across his face, his dimples appearing, a faint pink tint blooming across his cheeks. He holds his breath.

"Monday then," Jungwon says, still grinning.

"Monday then," Ni-ki echoes and nods. "Bye."

"Bye."

"Bye-bye!"

Ni-ki looks down at Jieun, sweet, happy Jieun and her grin that looks just like her father's, and her sparkling eyes that still hold all of the youthful innocence a child can have. He crouches down to give her a tiny high five for her chubby hands and can't help the excited giggle that escapes his lips.

"I'll bring more pop tarts," he promises her, "And I won't burn them this time."

"Good!" she laughs and high fives him again.

—

Group Chat: NO MOVING OUT XX

Ni-ki:

I LANDED THE JOB

I CAN PROVIDE FOR US NOW

Dad hyung:

CONGRATS!!!!

ayyy, good job man

Kim Oosun:

incredible

we can finally eat real food

Ice princess:

we already were eating real food

Kim Oosun:

you were sponsored by your sugar daddy

Ice princess:

my man is not my sugar daddy.

Ni-ki:

enough about your man

I WILL SEE THE LOML AGAIN

Kim Oosun:

whipped

Dad hyung:

^

Ice princess:

^

—

"I landed the job!"

Ni-ki bursts into the convenience store thinking that he'll see Heeseung behind the counter. Instead, he comes face to face with Jay, dressed totally inappropriately for work in a convenience store. In a black sleeveless and black slacks. Who the heck pairs slacks with a sleeveless? Only Jay.

"Oh, Jay-hyung."

"Hey, kiddo," Jay greets him nonchalantly, not looking up from his textbook as Ni-ki walks up to the counter and throws his backpack into the backpack corner. "Are you quitting?"

"No," Ni-ki huffs and looks around for a box of strawberry milk behind the counter. Nothing. "I just have to take the late shifts from now on. I gotta babysit in the afternoon now." Jay looks up with a curious expression and his ever-present pout on his pushing his lips out.

"Babysitting?" he asks and leans back on the stool, straightens his hunched back. "Ah, for Jungwon?"

Ni-ki wants to say 'yes'. Instead, for some reason, he says,

"Did you know I'm in love with him?"

And it all just goes downhill from there on. For Jay's ears.

[+]

"You have to call Ni-ki 'oppa', Jieun," Jungwon sighs as he tucks the covers to her chin. She's been sulking all afternoon long, and now it's way past her bedtime and they're really still arguing about it.

"But I want him to be papa," she pouts and hardly suppresses a yawn. The lights are dimmed, only her little moon nightlight turned on, and her eyes flutter shut the longer she tries to stay awake. "Why can't he be papa?"

"Because he's not," Jungwon tells her firmly and smooths the wrinkles out of her covers, "But that would be nice, right?"

"Yeah," she agrees mumbling and smiles tiredly, already slipping into the land of dreams, "Papa is very nice."

"Oppa, Jieun," Jungwon corrects her with a disbelieving laugh. This kid of his, really. "He's your oppa." Jieun whines quietly in protest and wriggles away from him.

"Fine," she relents grumpily and huffs, "Oppa."

"Good girl." Jungwon presses a kiss to her cheek, and then another. He stands up from her bed with heavy limbs and turns to leave her room, but before he does, he turns around for one last time of the day to look at her tiny form wrapped up on her children's bed. At the glowing stars sticking to her ceiling, to the sheep nightlight that Jungwon himself used to fall asleep with.

He remembers it all too well, being tucked in by his grandma and falling asleep to the footsteps of his parents returning home from work. Both of his parents. Jieun should have that, too. Two parents and a loving grandma and everything she could ever ask for and more.

"Good night, princess," he whispers, and receives no response. Jieun is already asleep. "I love you so much."

Chapter Text

"No, he's not even staring at the ramyeon now!" Jay harshly whispers into his phone and glances back at Ni-ki on the stool behind the counter.

It's the Sunday following Ni-ki's disastrous first meeting with Jieun, the kid he will now babysit five days a week, and the daughter of the man of his dreams. Literally.

On Saturday, he arrived home utterly exhausted. So exhausted in fact, that he couldn't even tell his roommates about how his "Does the kid he's supposed to babysit one day even like him" test went, or the lunch, walked past them like a zombie, dragged himself up the stairs to his room in complete darkness because he still didn't replace the lightbulb and isn't very likely to replace it any time soon, and collapsed into his sheets, just to immediately pass out. In his outside clothes and jeans and without washing up and everything.

His sleep wasn't very refreshing either. He might as well could have stayed awake all night and study, that’s how restless he felt after waking up. Like he didn’t sleep at all.

He dreamt of Jungwon. A little too early, to be dreaming about his crush after meeting him twice. Ni-ki feels a little insane because of it. Very insane, to be honest. The 'crushing on him'-thing? Fine. He's always the one idiot to fall hard and fast. Already subconsciously dreaming of kissing him? Too fast.

It's probably the memory of Jungwon wiping his mouth for him like he's a toddler that needs to be taken care of, and, okay, that sounds weird at first. But Jungwon's thumb was gently caressing over his lips, soft skin and carefully applied pressure, and it was almost too easy to imagine that it were Jungwon's lips on his mouth. Ni-ki's brain seemed to have agreed, how else would it have conjured up the image – and feeling – of kissing Jungwon, and make it feel so real.

Ni-ki was woken up for breakfast with a flushed face and a weird heat on his cheeks that he was too embarrassed by to explain to Jake, and now, he probably seemed like he was having... inappropriate thoughts. But it really wasn't like that! Ni-ki just – he only kissed someone in his dream. And, maybe, played with the hair on his nape, soft, silky locks of hair between his fingers, and pillowy lips on his own as he held him by his small waist. Oh God. Jungwon's waist looks so small. Ni-ki would probably feel his fingers touch in the back while he holds him –

Jay flicks his forehead with a deadpan expression.

"Earth to Nishimura Riki?" he nags him and pats his butt, phone long slipped back into his pocket, "Can you focus on your work please? You're staring again."

"Sorry," he mutters sheepishly and shuffles on his spot behind the counter. It's hot out today, and it was already warm in the morning when Ni-ki left for the dance studio he rents out every weekend. Not that he did any dancing. Ni-ki just stood in front of the mirror wall and stared at the ground as he fiddled with his flannel and remembered his dream a little too well. The uniform of the convenience store is too thick to let him breathe properly. "I... I don't know."

"Everything okay with you?" Jay asks him in a softer tone, more concerned than nagging, and he offers Ni-ki a box of strawberry milk with the straw already punched in for him.

Technically speaking, Ni-ki is fine. He really is! He's just a little distracted, by either his dream of Jungwon kissing his lips, or by the memory of Jungwon touching his lips—

"I'm sick," Ni-ki blurts, even though it's far from the truth, and the only thing he achieves is the look of concern flashing across Jay's face, "Lovesick. I am in love. With Jungwon-hyung." Jay's concern melts off his shoulders as he deflated with an exasperated sigh.

"You met him twice," he reminds Ni-ki, which is not something he needs to be reminded of.

"I know that!" he groans and leans back against the shelf of cigarette packs behind him, "But Jay-hyung, oh my God, I can literally feel his lips on mine."

Jay doesn’t answer, understandably so. He simply blinks at Ni-ki with a blank stare, once, twice, thrice. Then, he sighs again.

"You're a lost cause, kid," he tells Ni-ki and slides him another box of strawberry milk. Ni-ki stabs the straw into the hole almost too eagerly and takes a sip. His mouth is really dry. "You have time to think about kissing him when you should ask yourself how to replace his toaster?"

"He told you that?!" Ni-ki gasps and almost chokes on his milk. Jay chortles a laugh at him and shakes his head with a fond smile.

“Called the group chat after he tucked Jieun in,” Jay tells him, and his fond smile that looked so welcoming and loving just seconds ago morphs into a gleeful smirk, “Told me and Heeseung-hyung all about it.” Ni-ki garbles miserably and hides his reddening face in his arms. It’s horrible. His failure to impress Jungwon was a gossip topic! Jay only laughs louder.

“It’s not that bad, right?” Ni-ki whines and pulls at Jay’s arm before he can fall over from his stupid laughter, “He didn’t say anything about a bad impression now, did he?!”

Jay stays silent. That’s answer enough.

Ni-ki slumps over the counter with a miserable groan. He’s done it. He landed the babysitting job but didn’t land the date with a cute guy. Great. No, really, it’s unironically great that he landed the babysitter job. But a date with Yang Jungwon would have been nice, too. They clicked very well, and conversation flowed easily between them. They already entered the stage where Jungwon finds Ni-ki cute!

Oh God, he called Ni-ki cute…

“I was just messing with you,” Jay hurries to say and pats his shoulder, “He didn’t actually say anything bad, so you can stop beating yourself up – “

“Hyung,” Ni-ki whines and tugs at Jay’s shirt, “He called me cute.” Life is so horrible when a cute man calls Ni-ki cute. Has Jungwon ever looked into a mirror? He’s the cute one. His hair is so fluffy, and he just looks so… round. Is that a weird thing to say? Probably. But no, it’s just the truth. Jungwon is cute.

“That’s what made you space out again?” Jay snorts and ruffles his hair playfully, “Okay, kid.”

“Tell me more,” Ni-ki asks of him, “What did he say if it wasn’t anything bad?”

“Hm,” Jay hums contemplatively and tilts his head to the side, “Nothing much. Just that he needs a new toaster, and that Jieun insists on calling you ‘papa’. And that you looked like you haven’t eaten anything proper in weeks. Do you want to check out the fresh vegetables, too, this time?”

Okay, so maybe Ni-ki lied. Jay is very nice to him and also lets him take stuff home that isn’t close to their expiration date. He can just be a bit stricter with Ni-ki when he slacks off during work. Regardless, Ni-ki shakes his head and declines the offer. If Jay and Heeseung continue being this nice to him, he might just rob the store and run it into bankruptcy. Consensually, because they let him. But then, he would lose his part-time job, and Ni-ki appreciates the extra money to pay for his hobbies.

“The meal kits are fine,” Ni-ki says and sips from his box of strawberry milk, “How’s your mom?”

“She’s good,” Jay replies with a gentle smile, “Just a bit lonely since most of her friends still work.”

“Yeah, not everyone’s husband is rich,” Ni-ki rolls his eyes in exaggeration and smirks, “Speaking of husbands. Jungwon-hyung told me that you’re married?”

Jay’s smile has probably never fallen faster than now. He already knows that Ni-ki, as respectful of an employee and dongsaeng as he might be, doesn’t and will never hold back on the teasing. Especially not when it’s about a supposed marriage that’s been kept a secret from him. It’s almost as hilarious as Sunghoon’s girlfriend.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jay scowls, “South Korea doesn’t even legally recognize same-sex relationships.”

“It doesn’t?” Ni-ki gasps. He has been living in Korea for three years now and nobody told him that they were still outlawed? Like, not even a legal recognition? Wow. And he though Osaka’s partnership certificates were old-fashioned and non-sensical.

“No,” Jay huffs, just as the bell chimes and announces the arrival of a customer, “So stop talking about it in public.”

“Yes, sir,” Ni-ki mock-salutes and scrambles to his feet to greet the customer.

He planned on greeting the customer. It’s part of his job as employee of the store to greet the customer. But he doesn’t greet the customer. Because the customer is Yang Jungwon, in all his ‘oversized zip-up sweater and loose pants and fluffy hair and big eyes and kissable lips’ glory, holding his daughter Jieun by the hand. Oh fuck. Oh shit.

Ni-ki curls up into a ball to hide himself behind the counter.

“Hi, Jay-hyung,” Jungwon chirps happily, oblivious to Ni-ki’s existence in close distance, “You don’t happen to have toasters on sale, do you?”

Right. Because the convenience store also sells a few electronics, like rice cookers, and mini ovens, and microwaves, and – most importantly – toasters. Toasters that Jungwon should buy because Ni-ki burned the one at his home. And now he came to buy one. In the very same convenience store that Ni-ki works at. Because the store is only a ten-minute walk away from his apartment.

“Hello, Jay-oppa!” Jieun’s voice chimes up, high pitched and high in spirits. Seems like she was okay with going out today. She's even wearing a proper outfit today, with stylish jeans and a yellow t-shirt. “We need a new toaster.”

‘Sorry,’ Ni-ki thinks, for no reason in particular.

“Hey, you two,” Jay greets back cheerily, and glances down to Ni-ki still curled up on the floor with a skeptical look, “We got some toasters in aisle twelve. My part-timer can help you pick one.”

He more or less gently kicks Ni-ki back to his feet, and he jumps up and appears with a wide grin from behind the counter like he and Jay are performing a magic trick. Jungwon’s gaze flickers over to him before his eyes widen in surprise, and he stumbles back a few steps.

“Good afternoon, Jungwon-hyung,” he greets in an embarrassingly squeaky voice, and embarrassingly too politely, before he smooths down his uniform vest and runs a hand through his hair in the hope that he doesn’t look too disheveled, “Toaster?”

“Uh, yes,” Jungwon stammers, just as Jieun raises her hands in the air and squeals, “Papa!”

Ni-ki tears his gaze away from Jungwon’s beauty to the tiny human standing in front of him (okay, Jieun isn’t that tiny, she already reaches his hip), and can’t help the grin that splits his face. Jungwon, however, grimaces and helplessly turns to Jay. Not that Ni-ki would notice. He’s too busy high-fiving Jieun.

“Hey, Jieun,” he greets her, more composed and in a gentler voice that doesn’t scream ‘I am panicking because my crush just walked into my job’, “Taking your appa shopping?”

“Uh-huh!” she nods eagerly and puts her hands down, “We need a toaster for pop tarts.”

“And toast,” Jungwon chimes in firmly, “You like toast for breakfast, too, remember?” Jieun sighs and nods, less eagerly this time. She lowers her head and starts sulking. Cute.

“And toast,” she mumbles in agreement and grabs Jungwon’s hand again, “But only with egg.”

Ni-ki laughs when he sees how dejected she looks just because of toast. But Jungwon is right. She can’t only have pop tarts for breakfast.

“Maybe the toast will be yummier if you pick a nice toaster,” Jay suggests, in an odd, fond voice that doesn’t fit his usually cool demeanor at all. When Ni-ki turns back to look at him, he even has a weird, lopsided smile tugging at his lips. “Ni-ki can show you.”

“I know where the toasters are,” Jieun huffs and tugs at Jungwon’s hand, “Ai—As—Row twelve!”

“Uh, yeah,” Jungwon snaps out of a sudden daze that Ni-ki missed to witness, “Aisle twelve. Let’s go.” He lets Jieun lead him to aisle twelve where the electronics are. Ni-ki follows them, mostly because Jay ushers him away from the counter with flopping hands and a quiet, physical altercation. Traitor. Ni-ki will probably pass out in aisle twelve if he has to look at Jungwon for longer than a second.

The shelves are lined with multiple rows of various electronics. The toasters are at the very end of the aisle, the furthest away from the cash counter. Thus, Ni-ki follows behind Jungwon for what feels like an eternity. It probably takes them only a few seconds before Jieun stops in front of the toaster section, but Ni-ki is busy staring and taking in the view of the back of Jungwon’s head. His hair is a little messed up there and sticking up in two different directions. It bounces with every step he takes. His hair, and his bu –

“This one?” Jieun suggests and points at a yellowish orange toaster on the bottom row of the shelf. The packaging has a cartoon figure of a sunny side up egg that's smiling almost as brightly as the sun drawing is supposed to look. "This one looks like it makes tasty toast!"

It's also, conveniently, the cheapest one. A mere fifteen thousand won, something that Ni-ki can get easily docked from his pay after his first day as babysitter.

Jungwon sighs, probably out of relief at the cheap price, and nods at Jieun.

“I think so, too,” he agrees. Jieun eagerly pulls the box from the shelf with an excited giggle (kids are so easy to excite, it’s so cute) and shows it off to Ni-ki with a radiant grin. “Can you put that on the counter for us while we get the rest?”

“Yeah, of course,” Ni-ki complies almost too quickly, glad for the excuse to not look at Jungwon any longer. Because any longer and he would probably say something weird like ‘Please go on a date with me, and then let me adopt your daughter’, and he does not want to make that impression after the one he left the day before. So he takes the toaster from Jieun’s small hands and jogs back to the counter where Jay is waiting for him with a shit-eating grin.

“You are actually so whipped,” he teases Ni-ki under his breath and laughs when he whips his head back around to look for Jungwon. Thankfully, he’s on the other side of the store where the fridge displays a variety of meat, and he shows no sign of having heard Jay’s comment as he chats with Jieun about what they could make for dinner. Good. Ni-ki would prefer if Jungwon learnt of Ni-ki’s feelings personally, from him, and not by getting exposed by his boss.  

“You’re having fun right now,” Ni-ki threatens and steps closer to him, putting the toaster between them on the counter as he leans over to get uncomfortably close to Jay’s face, “But just you wait until I find out who your husband is.” Jay’s grin falls fast after that. Instead, he stares at Ni-ki with a blank expression for a few seconds, blinks, and leans back to regain his personal space.

“My husband has seen me at my worst,” he deadpans, “I think I can handle it. But how will you save face with your strawberry bo – ”

“Stop right there,” Ni-ki cuts him off, just in time. Jungwon returns to the counter to place to packs of meat onto the counter, holding Jieun by the hand. Okay, three things to know about Ni-ki’s underwear. One (1): not all of them have a strawberry pattern on them, it’s really just this one pair. Two (2): they’re for good luck, okay! He wore them during all of his exams in high school and washed them religiously every day during exam week, and he aced all of those tests and ranked top ten in his year. He also might or might not have worn them the day before to take advantage of his lucky briefs and make their mystical power make Jieun like him. Three (3): they’re not something he wants to talk about with children around, or his crush.

“Jay-hyung,” Jungwon speaks up, standing so his shoulder bumps against Ni-ki’s, “Do you have any deals on the vegetables?”

“We got a coupon book for them,” Ni-ki answers, even though the question was not directed at him. Jungwon turns his head to the side to look up at Ni-ki with a radiant smile, all while Jieun fakes a gagging noise.

“No bell peppers please,” she asks and huffs, earning herself a round of laughter. “I mean it! Bell peppers are gross.”

“Fine, no bell peppers,” Jungwon relents and pulls Jieun back to the aisle with vegetables. They disappear from Ni-ki’s sight, but not from his earshot this time, so it’s safe to assume that he will be able to hear Ni-ki and Jay, too, once he’s not focused on trying to discuss with Jieun which vegetables she will or won’t eat. Just to be sure, he sends Jay a warning glare, who returns it with another shit-eating grin.

“Are you sure you’re gonna be fine taking the late shifts?” Jay changes the topic. Thank God. Ni-ki doesn’t want to talk about his embarrassing crush anymore. Or his lucky underwear. “With classes and the babysitter job…”

“It’ll be fine,” Ni-ki waves him off lamely and shrugs, “There aren’t many customers at night, so I can just study here.”

Jay nods thoughtfully, but he doesn’t seem convinced. He’s frowning at Ni-ki like a mother disapproving of his grades, even goes as far as giving him a look over from top to bottom as if to search for any signs of exhaustion in his posture. Ni-ki shows none of those, of course. Not more than usual, at least. His days have always been busy with classes, studying whenever he can, his part-time job at the convenience store, a plethora of hobbies that he drops faster than he picks up, a few hobbies that remain like video games and skating and dancing, maintaining his social life. The time he’s planned for his babysitter job, pushing back his shifts at the convenience store, usually would have been spent going shopping with Jake, or eating out with Sunghoon, or going to cafés with Sunoo, all things that Ni-ki can’t afford right now anyway. Even then, Ni-ki has plenty of free time that he can use to sleep, like the one-hour bus ride home, or breaks between classes. Maybe Jieun isn’t at the age yet where she doesn’t appreciate the greatness of afternoon naps.

All in all, his time management skills are just those of a regular college student.

“If you say so,” Jay relents with a sigh and runs a hand through his hair, “But if you change your mind, we can lessen your shifts. Jungwon needs you as babysitter all the time, but we can just hire another part-timer.”

“You are replacing me way too quickly!” Ni-ki complains, whining.

“I mean, like, Heeseung-hyung’s boyfriend or something,” Jay reasons with him and pats his head, “So he can actually do something instead of just sitting at one of the tables and eating more bread. Speaking of, can you check the storage for booze? I swear, last night, that group just – ”

Ni-ki slips into the storage room faster than Jay can finish his rambling. He has no idea how Jay made the jump from bread to booze but whatever. He will also finish checking storage faster than Jay can finish his rambling. There are a few regular customers who come in close to midnight, buy and drink the store empty of all its alcohol, basically trash the entire place as they try to make themselves food, and Jay hates their guts. He even considered giving them a ban on entering the store.

When he comes back from the storage room, however, Jay isn’t rambling anymore, and Jieun and Jungwon aren’t shopping anymore. Jieun is waiting patiently, rocking back and forth on her feet with her hands clasped behind her back, as Jay and Jungwon pack up the rest of his shopping. They fill up two plastic bags that Jungwon has to balance in one hand, because his other hand refuses to let go of Jieun’s. Nobody has taken the toaster yet. Jay looks between Jieun, then Jungwon, then the two bags and the toaster that’s still on the counter. And then, his gaze falls on innocent, unsuspecting Ni-ki, and his face splits into a grin. Oh no.

“Help them out, part-timer,” he calls out to him cheerily and waves him over, “I’ll pay you extra.”

“It’s okay, Jay-hyung,” Jungwon refuses and shakes his head, “I can just – let me…” He tries to pull the toaster into his arms but fails miserably. Ni-ki decides that, yes, Jay is right, he should help him. So he takes the two bags of groceries from Jungwon, hand brushing against the knobs of his fingers. Jungwon’s hand is so small. And they hold the toaster so gently – now that Ni-ki thinks about it, he could have just taken the toaster. Wow. Okay. His subconsciousness really just wanted an excuse to touch his hand, huh. But it was so soft and warm...

"Should we go?" Ni-ki asks after clearing his throat, because Jungwon is sheepishly smiling and fluttering his pretty eyelashes at him, and there is only that much damage that Ni-ki's poor gay heart can take before it combusts in his chest. "You said you lived close, right?"

"Yes, only ten minutes," Jungwon confirms and attempts to wave at Jay with the hand that is holding the toaster close to his chest. Jieun sighs at her dad's silly behavior and waves at Jay with their conjoined hands instead.

"Bye-bye, Jay-oppa!" she chirps and pulls Jungwon out of the store. He trips over his own feet a little clumsily, and normally, Ni-ki would laugh because it’s so endearing. Unfortunately, Ni-ki also trips over his own feet, so his laughter is more out of embarrassment rather than endearment. It would be great if he could just be normal around Jungwon, really.

Thankfully, the walk to Jungwon’s apartment isn’t anything exciting. Since it’s just a side road with basically no traffic except for the people who live here, it’s quiet except for Jieun’s chatter about a TV show she watches. The sun beats down on Ni-ki’s back and nape, and he starts to regret not taking off the uniform vest before walking outside. It’s stuffy and made of a thick material that does little to cool him down. His long hair also doesn’t help. If there is any breeze of wind at all, it doesn’t hit Ni-ki’s neck, and so, he can feel his face slowly start to heat up the closer they get to Jungwon’s apartment. The surrounding houses cast no shadow on the street.

They walk at an agonizingly slow pace. It’s not Jieun’s fault though, because she happily trots through the street with a little skip to her step, pulling Jungwon along at an equal pace. It’s only Ni-ki who awkwardly shuffles his feet, because, even though Jieun is obviously walking at a quicker pace for herself, her legs are short, and her entire body is about the same height as Ni-ki’s hip.

“Are you okay?” Jungwon asks him when they can finally see the apartment complex where he lives, “You look a little… red.” Jungwon is one to talk. He’s just as red in the face, the color even spreading down his neck. A single beat of sweat rolls down the side of his face and travels along his jawline.

“Just the summer heat,” Ni-ki reassures him and readjusts his grip on the two grocery bags. His hands are sweaty and a little slippery. Jungwon’s beautiful eyes blink at him. “I’m okay, don’t worry.”

Thankfully, they take the elevator up to Jungwon’s apartment. It’s only when they’re in front of the door that Jungwon lets go of Jieun’s hand to give her the toaster and unlock the door, releasing a gust of cold air from inside. He must have left the Ac on while he went shopping. Ni-ki follows them inside and toes off his shoes. He looks around the apartment. It’s the same as yesterday, except for the missing toaster on the kitchen counter. The bare space is painful to look at, reminding Ni-ki of his past failure to warm up pop tarts.

“You can put the groceries next to the fridge,” Jungwon instructs him with a gentle voice and helps Jieun pull out the little stool so she can wash her hands in the sink. He walks over to Ni-ki and gives his arm a squeeze. The apartment doesn’t feel that refreshingly cold anymore. “Thank you. For helping.”

“No problem,” Ni-ki croaks, throat dry. Man. The short amount of time he spent in the heat should have not made him this dehydrated. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Yeah,” Jungwon agrees softly and smiles, “Tomorrow.”

Their faces are close. Or maybe it just looks like Jungwon’s face is very close because Ni-ki can’t seem to focus on anything else but sparkling eyes and pink lips and the lovely, rosy color on Jungwon’s cheeks. Damn. He needs to chill with the crush because it’s getting ridiculous. He wets his lips. The memory of his dream makes him freeze. Jungwon’s lips look even softer in real life.

“Appa!” Jieun calls out and steps between them, finally pulling Ni-ki’s attention to anywhere else but his thoughts of kissing Jungwon. “We have to put the groceries away.”

“Ah, yes,” Jungwon agrees, ripped out of yet another trance that Ni-ki missed, and turns away from him, “Let’s say bye to Ni-ki first, yeah?”

“Eh?” she whines and crosses her arms, “He’s not staying?” Jungwon only sighs and shakes his head, sinking to his knees to take Jieun’s hands in his. He shakes them playfully and pulls her into his arms, rising back to his feet once her arms are wrapped around his neck and he can carry her comfortably.

“You’ll see him tomorrow again,” Jungwon tells her. The moment he turns, Ni-ki’s breath hitches. When he carries Jieun like this, and faces Ni-ki with a gentle smile, it’s almost embarrassingly easy to imagine that they’re a family. His chest constricts uncomfortably. He definitely needs to chill out. “He’ll pick you up from pre-school and then you can play with him, okay? But he has to go back Jay-hyung today.”

“Fine,” she mumbles, sulking, and stretches out a small hand to wave at Ni-ki, “Bye-bye.”

“Bye,” he replies with a grin and gives her another high five, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Jieun.”

—

“And then, I take the bags from his hand,” Ni-ki finishes his story with a groan and slumps in his chair. He’s having dinner with Jake and Sunoo, Sunghoon is missing because he is on yet another date with his mystery man. The frozen ramen kits they heated up in the microwave are still a little frozen, but the broth is rich, and the noodles are soft. Sunoo and Jake laugh at him.

“Woah,” Sunoo gasps between his giggles and covers his grin with a hand. Good. Ni-ki doesn’t want his stupidity so openly made fun of. “You’re even worse than Jake.”

Which is really not that great of a comparison. Jake, at least, is Sunoo’s boyfriend. Ni-ki is a mere babysitter to Jungwon’s daughter. He won’t even see him much the next day because the whole point of Ni-ki being at his apartment to watch Jieun is that Jungwon isn’t there to watch her! Sunoo and Jake meanwhile go on cute dates and cuddle on the couch while watching a movie and get to be one of those sappy couples, because that’s what they are. A couple.

So what if Jake always manages to sneak an arm around Sunoo’s waist, or more or less subtly puts a hand on his shoulder, or finds any excuse to make their fingers brush? He gets to. That’s what boyfriends do. Ni-ki is just an idiot in love. He has no excuse for his behavior.

“Whatever,” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. It’s still damp from the shower he took earlier, and he completely forgot to blow-dry it because he got a few text messages from Jungwon.

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung !

Oh yeah, just a few things for tmrw

I told the preschool teacher that you’d pick up jieun, so no worries about that :)

And her screen time is thirty minutes a day, if she tells you otherwise, she’s lying (and I know she will)

You can go outside to the park if you want to, but please hold her hand on the way

Food is in the fridge, you can just heat it up in the microwave

Feel free to take anything to eat and drink whenever you want to :)

Jieun can take her snacks from her snack box anytime unless it’s an hour before mealtime

If I come home later than 8:30 pm, don’t worry about a bedtime

she won’t sleep unless I’m home

Also, please make sure that Jieun does her daily reading for preschool

So he got a set of rules and things he has to remember. But it’s okay. Most of the things are about telling Ni-ki what he is allowed to do instead of forbidding him anything, and that’s a lot less stress-inducing. He has read up on a few babysitter experiences on the internet, and some of them sound nightmarish. Most of them, actually. The experiences range from rowdy kids to bad pay to helicopter parents that call so often that the babysitter is busier being on the phone than watching the kid. He has read a few times that the parents sometimes don’t allow the babysitter to eat or ask the babysitter to do the house chores on top of babysitting. Ni-ki doesn’t seem to run into any of these problems though. Jieun, as far as he can tell, is an angel, and Jungwon leaves him a lot of freedom.

“Anyway,” Jake changes the topic. Thank God he does, because if Ni-ki spends any second more on thinking about Jungwon, he will probably melt in his chair. “We should all hang out next weekend. Sunghoon said that Sundays are usually when he and his lover go on dates, and I think, we should follow them.”

“That’s an invasion of privacy,” Ni-ki reminds him and stuffs a few noodles into his mouth. Jake only shrugs.

“You can’t tell me you’re not curious what she looks like,” he reasons and throws an arm around Sunoo’s shoulder, “Besides, who said we’ll do it secretly? We could just run into them by accident and make it a double date!”

“You mean, you and me make it a double date with them,” Sunoo corrects him and nudges his side playfully, “And Ni-ki just hangs around?”

“He can invite Jungwon and Jieun!” Jake suggests with an excited grin and looks at Ni-ki with his stupid, irresistible puppy face, “We can meet everyone then! Sunghoon’s partner, and Ni-ki’s soon-to-be partner.”

“You are way too extroverted,” Ni-ki sighs and shakes his head, “Besides, that’s weird. I’m just the babysitter, why would he hang out with me for no reason?”

“You didn’t deny the ‘soon-to-be partner’ part,” Sunoo points out, a teasing glint to his sharp eyes.

“Well, I am denying it now!” Ni-ki defends himself and shrinks in his seat. Fine, he’s a little delusional and moving very fast with his crush on Jungwon. Who dreams of kissing someone after meeting him twice? Only delusional people. Jake and Sunoo’s ‘soon’, if everything goes right, might be in a year, might be in two. Maybe it’ll take forever or doesn’t happen at all. Once Jieun is old enough to stay at home alone, Jungwon won’t need a babysitter anymore. Sure, that’s still a few years in the future, but Ni-ki will barely interact with Jungwon anyway. Which is a shame. Jungwon is fun to talk to.

But the chances of this – whatever it is that he has with Jungwon, a weird one-sided infatuation, a childish crush because Ni-ki is bored and needs some emotional turmoil in his life, a deeper connection that is yet to be discovered – blossoming into a romantic relationship are close to zero. And that’s fine. Ni-ki just wants to babysit a cute kid, earn some money, and help out a struggling single parent. And fix the lightbulb on the staircase.

“Fine, we don’t have to do it,” Jake raises his hands in defeat and lowers his head, “But at least a trip on Saturday. We could go fishing on the countryside. Have a nice meal.”

“You never catch anything,” Sunoo reminds him giggling, to which Jake responds with a dramatic gasp.

“It takes practice, Sunny!” he argues and grabs Sunoo by the shoulders to gently shake him as he laughs. Oh. Sunoo’s shoulders are as broad as Jungwon’s. “And the weather was bad. Fish don’t come to the surface when it rains.”

“Sure, sure,” Sunoo agrees easily and slaps at Jake’s wrist, “Whatever you say, hyung.”

Ni-ki stares at them, deep in thought. It must be nice to be joking around with a boyfriend.

—

It’s already past midnight when Ni-ki collapses into his bed. His eyes are burning from the brightness of the lamp on his desk, and by the end of his study session, he had to squint really hard for the letters in his textbook to stop blurring together.

As usual, his bedtime routine lets him check his social medias for the updates his friends and family in Japan gave him. There aren’t many, but it looks like most of his friends went camping together for the weekend. All of them, except for Taki, who only sent him a picture of his cluttered desk with no caption or explanation whatsoever. Ni-ki zooms in on the stuff on the desk and squints his eyes. Even though his screen brightness is at the lowest setting, it’s still too bright.

There are a few pens and markers surrounding a textbook on the wooden surface of the desk. A half-empty bottle of sunscreen, two empty water bottles (with no condensation, because Taki, for some reason, has always preferred his water room temperature instead of cold). A plate with takoyaki. Some loose papers and something that looks like a passport.

Ni-ki zooms in on the textbook. Taki moved from chapter twelve to eighteen in a week. Ni-ki can’t tell what exactly he’s studying because the picture is blurry, and his vision is blurry, and his screen is still so fucking bright. But it can’t be for college. Taki goes to a dance school. Dance doesn’t need textbooks. Man. Ni-ki should have chosen to study dance instead of education. He wouldn’t need to sit at his desk for so long.

Next to the textbook, something glints in the light of Taki’s white desk lamp. He zooms in and freezes, stops breathing altogether. It’s the counterpart of Ni-ki’s own ring, a matching set they bought a month into their relationship. He’s not sure why, but his finger clicks away from the picture and hovers over the call button. It’s a stupid idea, because there is no way that Taki is still, or already awake. Then again, Ni-ki is also awake. As far as he is aware, so is Sunghoon since he hasn’t come home yet.

“Ni-ki?”

Taki’s groggy voice sounds through his phone, and Ni-ki almost drops it. His voice is deeper from the last time he’s heard it, which is a year and a half ago. He wasn’t aware that they were still going through puberty. At least that would explain Ni-ki’s voice cracks.

“Oh, hey,” he tries to greet him as nonchalant as possible, which is impossible. His heart clogs his throat, and he wants to punch himself for the awkward stutter in his voice. “Sorry, were you asleep?”

“No,” Taki denies, but he yawns nonetheless, and the sound of bedsheets rustling can be heard, “I was still up. How have you been?”

“Good, yeah,” Ni-ki croaks quietly, “I’ve been good. And you?”

“Me too,” he hums contemplatively, “We recently found out I can tell whose clothes belong to whom by the smell.”

“What,” Ni-ki cant help but chuckle, “That’s so weird.”

“I’m telling you, it’s actually genius,” Taki defends himself and laughs quietly, “I’m a genius, Ni-ki!”

“No, you’re a weirdo who sniffs people’s clothes. How did you even find out you can do that?”

“See, there was this jacket in the practice room – ”

[+]

“Appa…”

The door to Jungwon’s door slowly creaks open, revealing a tired Jieun in the hallway. She’s wearing her favorite pajamas, white with brown bears as pattern. Jungwon turns on the light on his bedside table to see her shuffling to his bed while rubbing her eyes. Her black hair is wildly sticking up in all directions, and her eyes are puffy from sleep and tears. She sniffles quietly.

“Did you have a nightmare?” he coos silently and lifts his blanket for Jieun to crawl under and cuddle up to him. He gives her reassuring pats on the back and holds her close. It’s a good thing he never fully closes the doors to their bedrooms so Jieun can go to the bathroom or come to him whenever she wants to. “Or just bad sleep?”

“Bad sleep,” she mumbles and rubs her cheek against his shoulder, “And a nightmare. You were gone and I couldn’t find you.”

Jungwon inhales sharply.

“You know I’d never just go away,” he tells her firmly and buries his nose in her hair. She smells like children’s shampoo. “Especially not without you.”

“You left with papa,” she sighs, “Dreams are weird.”

"Yeah", he agrees and turns the light off again, “Very weird. Especially since you should call him 'oppa', Jieun."

"Weird!"

Chapter Text

To arrive timely at 3 pm, Ni-ki had to skate to Jieun's preschool at an insanely reckless speed, so don't tell anybody that he also forgot to wear a helmet and almost got run over by a truck in true 'anime main character' manner.

Either way, he's glad that he picked the morning classes for his time at university. If his last professor doesn't overstretch his lecture again, he should be able to always pick up Jieun on time, giving her ten more minutes to pack her bag before she should be out at the front gate waiting for him. And without being a danger to himself and public traffic.

He takes a left turn from the broad street after almost crashing into an elderly man, leaving the main street, and is finally, finally able to see the preschool building. It's a square building, what else, three stories high with a colourful mural on one of the white walls and a fenced courtyard around it. Most of the preschoolers are already walking out of the gates, either hand in hand with their parents or their older siblings or their friends.

Jieun sits on the stairs by herself, deeply immersed in a book she's burying her nose into. She doesn't respond to the other kids saying bye to her, and it's not many who acknowledge her at all. The teacher behind her just watches with a worried look etched onto her face and glances up at Ni-ki momentarily when he steps off his skateboard and walks up to them hesitantly.

He can feel the stares of the other parents boring into him. It's uncomfortable, and for a moment, he wonders if Jungwon only hired him as a babysitter so he wouldn't have to pick up Jieun himself and become the victim of the gossiping mothers. But it makes no sense, the longer he thinks about it. Jungwon doesn't seem like the type of father to care about anything except for Jieun's happiness.

"Hello," he greets the teacher politely and bows to her, "I'm here for Jieun."

"Jungwon-ssi told me about you," she smiles kindly at him before her gaze drops down to Jieun again. A worried from replaces her expression. "I'm sorry about Jieunie. I don't even know where she got this book from – "

"It's the Com – Commu... Commi – Communist Manifesto!" Jieun announces proudly and shows off the red book to Ni-ki with a wide grin, "It was next to the playground!"

Listen. Ni-ki doesn't read a lot of books. But he knows for a fact that the Communist Manifesto by Marx and Engels is not the literature you would let your kid read. He's also pretty sure that children wouldn't even know what to do with the words inside. Ni-ki studied his ass of to be somewhat fluent in Korean, and he's pretty sure that not even he would understand.

"At least she gets her reading time?" the teacher offers weakly and glances back up at Ni-ki again, "Are you ready to go home now, Jieunie?"

"Yes!" she singsongs and closes the book.

Jieun jumps to her feet, bows to her teacher politely, and grabs Ni-ki's index finger with her small hand. Oh. Oh, she's so cute.

"I was reading about the burgers," Jieun tells Ni-ki when they turn to the exit and leave the school grounds, the Communist Manifesto still clutched in the hand that isn't holding Ni-ki's. Ni-ki starts to sweat. Technically, if this was before his babysitter duties officially began, it won't be his fault if Jungwon's toddler turns into a communist, right?

"You mean the bourgeoisie?" Ni-ki entertains her, and she tugs at his finger with a huff.

"I said that," she grumbles dejectedly. And since he doesn't want to upset her, Ni-ki agrees with a sigh. She did say that.

—

The walk to Jungwon's apartment turns out to be a rather stressful ordeal. Not because Jieun is a specifically rowdy child that rips herself free from Ni-ki's hold, or because she runs across the street without looking, or because she gets distracted by the display windows of toy stores that they pass. It's solely because Jieun hands Ni-ki her book and tells everyone they meet about the bourgeoisie. At a stoplight, customers who are checking out a bookstore's display window that they pass, Jay behind the convenience store's counter.

That is also the only time she does let go of his hand to run into the store, a bounce in her step before she slams her entire body against the glass panel to push open the door.

"Jay-oppa!" she exclaims and raises her hands. Jay laughs happily and runs around the counter to scoop her up into his arms. "I read something new today. It's very good!" Ni-ki hurries into the convenience store and bows apologetically. Jay just laughs it off and nods at the aisle where the strawberry milk is. Thank you, father figure. Ni-ki doesn't really want to listen to Jieun spread communist propaganda again.

"What did you read?" Jay still humours her, and he speaks so uncharacteristically fondly and soft spoken that Ni-ki glanced back at the counter to check if it was still his Jay-hyung. But it's still him, in a black top and grey jeans, and half is his hair pushed back so it's out of his face. He's smiling at Jieun as if she was his own daughter, and he lets her pat his face with her clumsy hands.

"The Communist Manifesto," she announces proudly, and Ni-ki snorts when Jay's grin drops. He blinks at her owlishly.

"Sorry?"

"The Communist Manifesto," Jieun repeats. And then, as if she knew what she was talking about, she adds, "The burgers are bad."

"The – The burgers?" Jay stammers utterly confused, "Jieun, I don't think that's a book you should be reading in preschool. Your appa won't be happy if he finds out."

"Appa reads me weirder books," Jieun pouts. Ni-ki walks back to the counter to stand next to Jay, injecting strawberry milk into his system. He's sipping on milk. This conversation is ought to be fun. He ignores Jay's helpless glance that he sends him. "He once read me a book where they hate the government because they make them kill each other."

Jay's usually tan complexion pales.

"I'll buy you books for kids next time," he mutters under his breath and adjusts his grip on Jieun.

"She means the bourgeoisie," Ni-ki chimes in, "Why are they bad, Jieun? You can tell Jay-hyung." Jieun visibly perks up. Everyone they encountered before did not want to hear about the bad burgers.

"They are the ru-ling cla-ss," Jieun spells out each big word carefully and slowly. She cites them perfectly, and she says them with a sort of wisdom that only a preschooler can hold. "They pushed for machines to do the work. But that's not good for the plo... pro-le-ta-ri-at. The human workers! So the burgers are bad."

Jay nods along with every word that she says, dazed. He looks about as confused as Ni-ki feels. Neither of them knows anything about the bourgeoisie or the proletariat.

"And where did you," Jay swallows drily and forces a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, "find that book?"

"Next to the playground," Jieun answers, and she doesn't seem to lie, "My teacher said it's too hard for children. But I'm smart! I can read it."

And understand the content and message of it, too, apparently.

Jay hesitantly puts her down. He pats her head awkwardly and nods so he can pretend to agree. Ni-ki finishes his strawberry milk just in time before Jay flings an arm around his neck and pulls him down so he can whisper into his ear.

"Hide the book and don't tell Jungwon," Jay tells him.

That was the plan all along.

—

Thankfully, once they're in the apartment and changed Jieun into more comfortable clothes, she finishes her reading time with a book titled "In the sheep's garden". It's an illustrated book with cute pictures and easy words, and even though Ni-ki is glad that she apparently didn't feel like reading the Communist Manifesto anymore for the day, he also couldn't ignore that she seemed bored as she read the book out loud with a sullen expression. Ni-ki hid the Communist Manifesto on top of the fridge when she was on the toilet, so she also had no other choice but to read a kid-friendly book. Listlessly, she flips the pages.

"The sheep finds more green grass," she reads to Ni-ki in a monotone voice as they sit on the white couch in the living room. She's slumped against the cushions and lets her feet dangle off the edge of the couch. Her shoulder is pressed against Ni-ki's arm. "It shows the other sheep the green grass. They eat together."

Jieun closes the book slowly. With a sigh, she puts it to the side and climbs off the couch. Her big eyes blink at Ni-ki slowly before she grabs the book again, colourful and thin with big hangul so children of her age can read it easier, and waves it around.

"I'm done," she announces deadpan.

"You did very good," Ni-ki tells her earnestly, and because he's been taught that positive affirmation helps children build up their self-confidence. While Jieun seems neither shy nor insecure, Ni-ki knows better than to make her feel that way just to 'humble' her. "You read a lot, don't you?"

"Appa reads to me every night." Jieun puts the book under the coffee table where the rest of her books are. All of them are for children, but she seems to own them for the sole purpose of reading time. "Other people give him their books, and he reads them."

"He's an editor?" Ni-ki offers and watches Jieun climb onto the couch again. She snuggles up against his arm despite the heat they haven't battled with the AC yet and hums.

"What is that? An e-di-tor?"

Ni-ki can't help but laugh. So she knows the word bourgeoisie and proletariat, but she doesn't know that Jungwon is an editor. Okay. Seems like something a kid would do.

"It's when people like your appa read other people's books and give them tips to make the book better," he explains and gently runs a hand through her bangs so the strands don't fall awkwardly, "And the changes the writer makes are called edits. Your appa, who tells them what to edit, is an editor."

"Oh," she yawns, "So appa has a lot of books because people give him money to read and edit them?"

"That's probably why, yeah," he agrees with a chuckle, "Are you tired? Do you wanna take a nap now, Jieun?" She shakes her little head and rubs the sleep out of her eyes.

"I have more homework," she tells him somberly, "I have to count to twenty and write the numbers. And draw a picture. Appa says I have to do my homework first." She lowers her head sadly and looks down at her socked feet.

Okay. Okay. Listen. Here's the deal: Jungwon told him he wouldn't have to do the disciplinary work. And Jieun looks so sad.

He's about to do something stupid. Something out of line that might get him fired after only one afternoon of babysitting. Jungwon might never forgive him. Or worse, he will forgive him, but he will also be... disappointed. In Ni-ki. 

"Jieun," he calls out to her and exhales shakily. Other than a quiet hum, he receives no sign of confirmation that she's listening to him, but it's good enough. "It's good I'm not your appa then, isn't it?"

"No, you're papa..." she mutters, and Ni-ki melts. He's a gooey little blob of molten man. Whatever.

“Let’s do the rest of your homework later, hm?” he suggests then and sends her a mischievous wink, “As long as we do it before your appa comes home, he won’t know, right?” Jieun considers the offer hesitantly. Judging from the way she pushes her lower lip forward and hums contemplatively, she has to think about it carefully and thoroughly.

“You won’t tell him?” she inquires quietly and looks up with hopeful eyes. Ni-ki nods dramatically, and Jieun’s reaction is immediate. She jumps and squeals in excitement.  Kids are so easy to please, really. Ni-ki would know. This is how he reacts when Jake offers to pay for bbq. Except he's not a kid anymore. He's the adult now, which means that he gets to call the shots. Oh yeah. He already loves being a babysitter.

"What do you wanna do now?" he fake-whispers. It's not really a whisper, his volume barely lowered, but this is how toddlers whisper. Or people who struggle with volume control. "We can do anything, but we'll have to finish your homework after dinner."

"I want to go to the park," Jieun decides and tugs at Ni-ki's sleeve so he stands up and follows her to the entryway. "I wanna learn what you do with that board."

"My skateboard?" Ni-ki swallows drily and glances at his skateboard. The grip paper is almost worn away and absolutely not safe to use anymore, especially not for a child who wants to learn. Jieun doesn't even have a helmet or safety gear. "You can't skate on grass. The park's not good for that."

"Fine," she starts sulking, but she still urges him to put on his shoes, "Can we still go to the playground? Yumi is usually there."

Ni-ki has no idea who Yumi is, but he agrees. Jieun can play with her school friend.

—

Ni-ki holds Jieun's hand all the way to the park just as Jungwon instructed him. She leads the way, knowing the neighbourhood better than Ni-ki.

The park is a fifteen-minute walk away from Jungwon's home. It's not really a park, as there isn't much nature around, but there is enough grass and trees around the playground to make it a 'nature' park rather than a concrete park. There are some benches for parents to sit on while they watch their children, but the playground is empty, and it's only Ni-ki sitting at the side when Jieun makes her way straight to one of the playhouses. The playground itself is pretty basic. A slide, a jungle gym, a sandbox, some swings and spring riders. The real highlight of the playground are probably the playhouses.

And the homeless teen living in one of them.

So, turns out that Yumi is not a preschooler. Nor someone that Ni-ki would usually consider a good influence on children. He can only spot her through one of the tiny windows of the playhouse in the distance, but he can't say he isn't a little worried. She's dressed in ratty clothes that have probably seen some better days, just like her. A white t-shirt with a hole at the shoulder, some black jeans and sneakers with holes in the soles and dirty shoelaces. Her hair is shaved, so it's hard to tell if she's taken a shower in the last few days, but her face is clean, if not a little tired looking. The black nail polish is peeling off at some of her fingers, coming off in flakes as she demonstrates with two water bottles how the bourgeoisie beheaded the aristocrats in France. Not a very child-friendly topic, but Jieun doesn't seem fazed.

Also, he's not one to judge teens. And Jieun seems pretty happy that at least one other person is chatting to her about the Communist Manifesto and the struggles of the working class as production increases.

Still, he sends Jungwon a text message. Just to be sure.

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung !

so Jieun's friend at the playground

is she actually her friend?

You mean Yumi?

yeah, she's nice

are you at the park rn?

yeah, Jieun got frustrated with her homework so we're taking a break

but dw!!

i'll make sure she finishes it before or after dinner

that's no problem :)

too much homework at once isn't good for Jieun's mood

are you actually free to text or did you think this was an emergency lol

free to text, i'm having a coffee break!

and it's good you asked me about Yumi just in case

no worries :)

alright heheh

enjoy your coffee break then!

have fun at the park!

Okay. Yumi is safe, and Jungwon knows that his daughter talks to teens who have built themselves a little home in the pastel orange playhouse with old blankets and camping equipment. Good to know.

"Where is your appa, Jieun?" Yumi entertains Jieun in a gentle voice and puts the plastic bottles down, "I'm sure he can tell you more about the French revolution." She chuckles lowly when Jieun tries to behead her own empty water bottle. Ni-ki anxiously shakes his leg as he watches them. Should he go into the playhouse, too? But a plastic house made for children will surely get cramped with two taller people inside. That, and he doesn't want to scare Yumi.

"He's at work," Jieun answers once she finally managed to unscrew the cap on her water bottle to behead it, and Yumi yells in surprise.

"He's at work?" she repeats, incredulous. "Then how did you – Is Jay-oppa with you?"

Yumi peeks out of one of the windows, but it's not the one that points at Ni-ki. When Jay comes to the park with Jieun, he probably sits on a different bench.

"Jieun..." Yumi starts, and her tone sounds like she's ready to scold Jieun, "Are you already at the age to come to the park alone?"

"Nope," she answers, popping the 'p' in her mouth, "I came with papa."

Jieun sticks her head out of the doorway and waves at Ni-ki where he sits on the side. She grins brightly and shouts, "Hello!"

He waves back with a grin. She's so cute. If Jungwon was also this cute when he was her age and playing on the playground? Probably. Jungwon is still cute. Oh God, he's doing it again. Focus, Ni-ki. He has to watch over a kid here and make sure she gets home in one piece, hopefully unscathed.

"Papa?" Yumi snorts and crawls out of the playhouse to look at Ni-ki. Her head turns to him cautiously, and once she spots him, she nods her head politely. "Hello. I'm Yumi."

Okay, she's polite. No wonder Jungwon doesn't think of her as a threat. Most teenagers are harmless anyway.

"I'm Ni-ki," he introduces himself, and she nods again.

"Papa, I assume, right?" she asks, and her voice tilts up teasingly. Her tired eyes light up. "Didn't know Jungwon-oppa got a boyfriend."

"Oh, no," he laughs nervously and scratches his neck awkwardly, "I'm just the babysitter."

She hums softly, clearly not believing him.

"You wanna come in, too?" she offers, "It's awkward talking like this."

"I don't fit into these anymore," he declines, but he stands up and walks over anyway. From close up, the playhouse seems even smaller. The roof barely reaches up to his chest. Yumi and Jieun don't don't seem to mind that Jieun basically has to sit on Yumi's lap to fit in there together. There even is a sleeping bag inside. A few textbooks and workbooks are stacked into a corner.

He sits down in front of one of the windows.

"Too bad," Yumi shrugs, "It's pretty cozy in here."

"Cozy enough to live in?" he asks, and almost slams his head against the plastic wall. That was insensitive. He's so stupid.

"Yup," Yumi laughs without a care in the world, "It's cozier than my mom's place. Was pretty uncomfortable, and it doesn't have this little cutie here to play with me." She tackles Jieun into a tickle fight, and Jieun shrieks with laughter and protest.

"Unnie!" she exclaims, "Noooo!"

—

Yumi is nice to talk to. Or maybe Ni-ki only feels that way because he's finally talking to someone younger than himself (Jieun doesn't count because she's a kid) and doesn’t have to care too much about formalities and politeness. But she's very nice overall. They exchange tips on how to study best while the sun beats down on the back of their heads, and how to make leftovers last longer. She tells him that Jay and Heeseung always let her take some food if it's freshly expired, and that she gets to warm up in the back of a bbq restaurant close by during the winter. She doesn't tell him why she lives in a playhouse, and he doesn't ask.

"You should probably get back home, it's almost time for dinner."

Ni-ki looks up from where Jieun is decapitating more water bottles right before she also defenestrates them and meets Yumi's gaze. She's smiling softly at Jieun while she pats her head, but she also looks incredibly tired. He knows that phrase, and she's just telling them nicely that her social battery has run out for the day.

"My homework!" Jieun gasps and drops the bottles dramatically as she jumps up, "Papa, we have to go!"

"You're right," he agrees and gets up from the gravel ground he was sitting cross legged on to talk to Yumi, "It was nice meeting you. Say bye to Yumi, Jieun."

"Bye bye, unnie!" she giggles and plants a kiss on her cheek, at which Yumi laughs again.

"Bye," she responds in a small voice and waves at them when they turn to leave, "See you next time."

Jieun grabs Ni-ki's hand again as they walk home. It's almost depressing, stepping out of the green park with trees and grass and flowers and into the concrete world that the city is. The roads are still a bit shabby and could probably need some of their potholes filled in. Ni-ki can't even count the number of trash bags he almost trips over on both of his hands, and the tall buildings are all of a dirty white colour and boring to look at. They don't pass by Heeseung's convenience store, but they pass a few restaurants. One of them is Japanese, and the menu is also written in Japanese below the Korean names of the dishes. Ni-ki hopes he remembers the way back to it. It's been a while since he had authentic Japanese food, and he misses it.

He misses everything about Japan, even though it's barely been four years since he moved, and only a few months since he last visited. But it's still where he grew up, where he has most of his closest friends, where he has family. Where Taki is.

'None of that,' he scolds himself in his head and shakes it as if to make the thought fall out of his brain, too. 'Dinner. And then homework.' There is no use in thinking about things that have been left behind.

Jieun has finally stopped talking about communism. She also doesn't keep talking about the French revolution, which Ni-ki assumes is a good thing. He barely passed his world history class. Instead, she's humming a nursery rhyme and pointing out dogs and stray cats that they pass.

"Another," she announces, suddenly monotonous, and points straight ahead. Ni-ki snaps out of his thoughts about Japan and looks. This stray cat, they won't just have to pass. The calico kitten is curled up in the middle of a sunny spot on the narrow sidewalk, staring at them with its beady, curious eyes. They would have to either walk around it, sidestep onto the street, or just walk over it.  It gives a quiet meow. Ni-ki melts on the inside and almost coos at it.

"It's cute," he comments and nods. Damn him and his weakness for small things and living beings. Like this cat. Or Jieun. Or Jungwon. No, focus. Apartment and homework and dinner.

"It has a heart on her butt," Jieun points out, and she's right. That doesn't mean Ni-ki doesn't have to choke back a laugh at her delivery. The kitten meows again. One of its ears twitches. "Someone will step on it if it stays there."

Jieun lets go of Ni-ki's hand and walks up to it. Should he be worried? The kitten looks dirty, and he's not too sure about rabies and other infections Jieun might contract if she touches it. And Jungwon probably won't like it if Ni-ki accidentally kills his daughter.

"Here, let's put it on the side, hm?" he suggests and follows her. Jieun is already crouching down in front of the kitten, unmoving. When Ni-ki crouches down, it blinks at him owlishly before it closes its eyes and starts purring. "You seem healthy."

It's also pretty fattened up. Seems like it's taken care of well by kind strangers.

"You have to move," Jieun tells the kitten that stubbornly remains curled up on the sidewalk. "People will step on you!"

The kitten meows softly and flicks its tail. It stays unmoving. Sighing, Ni-ki reaches out with his arm to scoop it up so he can place it somewhere safer, but that turns out to be a bad decision. Or a good decision. Depends on whether someone would consider a kitten sudden climbing up their arm to their shoulder a good thing.

He jumps back with a shriek, but the kitten is clawed into his t-shirt and won't let go. Jieun is of no help, unless hiccuping with more laughter can help Ni-ki.

“Jieun, help me!” he yelps but it’s no use. Jieun’s head barely reaches up to his hipbone, and the kitten is on his shoulder. “Get it off!”

—

“I’m naming her Manifesto.”

“You are definitely not.”

“I already did.”

“Your appa won’t like that.”

“He will live.”

Ni-ki relents with a sigh and drops his arms. Just a moment ago, he almost wanted to wrestle the kitten out of Jieun’s hands. Just a minute ago, they had washed her in the kitchen sink and disinfected it again. About fifteen minutes ago, Ni-ki returned to Jungwon’s apartment with a stray kitten clawed into his t-shirt and chewing on his hair. He had given up on trying to pry the cat off his body or his clothes with the limited force he could use without hurting it.

Just now, Jieun decided to keep her.

He has to admit, they look cute together. Manifesto (the name is horrible, regardless of how obsessed Jieun is with the Communist Manifesto) is clinging onto Jieun’s neck with her short paws, engulfing her like it’s a hug, and Jieun looks very happy that she’s been chosen as cat tree. At least she’s not a scratching post. Still, Ni-ki can’t allow Jieun to keep the kitten, not without Jungwon’s permission anyway. He has to admit, he’s sweating a little at the thought of Jungwon’s possible reactions. He could be delighted, or he could be pissed. The pissed reaction would probably make Ni-ki cry himself to sleep tonight, he’s a bit sensitive when it comes to that.

“Let’s just do your homework, hm?” he suggests instead, “Do you need any help?”

“No,” she giggles, “I can already count to twenty!”

They sit down at the coffee table because it’s more comfortable and has more space. Ni-ki also has some reading assignment for his pedagogy class to do, so it’s good for him that Jieun can do her homework alone. She even does it in silence.

Well, as silent as she can be while giggling whenever Manifesto jumps off her shoulder to pounce on the pencil in her hand. Even then, it’s barely Jieun who makes the noise as they work next to each other. It's mostly Manifesto meowing loudly and chasing around Jieun's pencils that clatter loudly against the coffee table's wooden surface, all while she holds an almost ear-shattering solo concert for them.

So much to his reading…

“Papa,” Jieun speaks up and picks Manifesto up so she can plop her into her lap and save her pencils from the kitten’s wrath, “Do you have two moms like Roha or two dads like me?”

He almost bursts out laughing. (Okay, fine, he did burst out laughing, but it was more of a violent cough than anything else.) The question is so innocent, so childish. He completely forgot that most children barely have any concept of what a nuclear family is supposed to look like. Jieun doesn’t seem aware why her question made Ni-ki laugh, blinking at him with anticipating eyes and fluttering eyelashes.

“I only have one mom and one dad,” he explains, and his heart squeezes painfully. He hasn’t had the time to visit them for longer than a week ever since he moved out, and recently, it started to feel like he has neither.

“Like… together?”

“Mhm.”

“People can have a mom and a dad?”

“Well, don’t most of you classmates have a both?”

“No?” Jieun tilts her head in confusion and frowns, “They only have a mom. And I have appa.”

Ah. Of course. It’s the moms picking up Jieun’s classmates.

“I think,” Jieun adds after a while and finishes her crayon painting. It’s one little figure between two taller figures. A ball that is probably supposed to be Manifesto is next to the taller of the two figures. Jieun’s handwriting isn’t that good yet, still clumsy and scratchy, but even then, the words ‘appa’, ‘me’ and ‘papa’ are easy to recognise. “I like appa and papa better than a mom.”

Sweet, sweet child.

—

Jungwon comes home when Jieun and Ni-ki are watching the recording of her favourite show that she missed while they were out in the park. The dishes they used for dinner are drying on the rack next to the sink, the water dripping from the tap irregularly. They’re still sitting on the rug, legs tucked neatly under the coffee table where they sprawled their crayon drawings across the surface. Manifesto decided to take a nap on the armrest of the couch, curled up in her spot that barely sinks in under her weight.

It’s therapeutic to draw something so clumsily that the shapes barely make any sense, to draw a face that is so familiar to Ni-ki’s brain but looks almost unrecognisable in the vibrant primary colours. Ni-ki hasn’t drawn in ages. Again, something that he long lost interest in, or simply abandoned because he found no more joy in it. But once in a while, it’s still nice.

“Appa!” Jieun exclaims happily and jumps to her feet. Jungwon barely has the time to toe of his leather shoes before she pummels her entire body into him and wraps her arms around his legs like a little koala. He chuckles fondly and pats her head, tense shoulders sinking with a tired exhale.

“Hey, little one,” he greets her in a soft voice, eyes locked to her head like there was nobody in this world but them. In a way, that’s probably true for them. Jieun said it herself; she doesn’t have a mom. “How was your day?”

“It was fun,” Jieun tells him, happy to share, “I read about the bourgeoisie and comm – mm… communism, and then we went to the park. Yumi-unnie told me about the french revolution, and then we met a kitten!”

Oh no.

“I named her Manifesto, after the Communist Manifesto.”

Oh no.

“She’s sleeping on the couch!”

Oh no.

Jungwon slowly turns his head and locks eyes with Ni-ki. He’s not sure how to read his expression, almost blank if it wasn’t for the minuscule hint of confusion drawing his eyebrows together. And then, Jungwon’s eyes wander past the side of Ni-ki’s head – where Manifesto is still peacefully taking her nap on the armrest of the couch.

“You brought her home?” he mutters, a scolding tone already set into his voice, “Jieun, princess, we can’t keep her.”

“Why not?” she whines and tugs at his thin jacket, “She’s nice.”

“I’m sure she is,” Jungwon sighs and runs a hand over his face, eyes glancing between Ni-ki and Manifesto. He’s either squinting or glaring. Ni-ki hopes that he’s only squinting. “But I’m allergic. Her hair will make me itchy.”

“But – ” Jieun doesn’t get to finish her protest before Jungwon cuts her off with a stern, “I know. She’s nice, and you’ve asked for a pet for a while now. But a baby cat is a big responsibility, and I will sneeze a lot.”

“She makes you sick?” Jieun asks, and her voice trembles. Her tiny hand fists into the fabric of Jungwon’s grey jacket, and before they know it, there are tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “You only sneeze when you’re sick!”

“Oh my God, no, not like that,” Jungwon scrambles and kneels down to pull her into a tight hug with a sigh, “I’m not gonna get sick. An allergy is when your body reacts badly to something it isn’t used to. Like… when you go out in spring, and you breathe in too much of the tree dust?”

“Oh,” Jieun sniffles quietly and rubs a hand over her eyes, “So you won’t get sick?”

“It depends on how much hair Manifesto loses,” he explains and strokes a hand over Jieun’s head, “Worst case, we’ll have to give her to a shelter.”

“But I wanna keep her,” Jieun mumbles dejectedly, and even Ni-ki starts to feel bad that she won’t get to keep Manifesto. He exchanges a quick look with Jungwon, something like a telepathic communication, except Ni-ki as no idea what Jungwon tried to telepathically communicate to him, and nods slowly.

“I can ask my house mates if I can keep her,” he offers sheepishly and gets up to pull his phone out of his pocket, “That way, I can bring her when I babysit, and Jieun can still see her.”

“If you can’t keep her, then I guess we can,” Jungwon relents with yet another sigh and picks Jieun up. His gaze lands on Manifesto again and softens. “Since Jieun already gave her a name.”

Group Chat: NO MOVING OUT XX

Dad hyung:

hows my favourite babysitter doing @Ni-ki

Ni-ki:

how do we feel about owning a cat …

Ice princess:

dogs are better

Kim Oosun:

that wasn’t the question…

i feel great!

i love cats

Dad hyung:

betrayed by my only love…

we can barely afford food for ourselves unless sunghoon’s sugar mommy chips in

how would we afford a cat

Ice princess:

if anything, hes my sugar daddy

i am not paying for cat stuff

Kim Oosun:

why would we own a cat in the first place

jake hyung brings layla over way too often

Dad hyung:

i thought you liked her!

Kim Oosun:

i do!

but I DON’T like that she gets all the attention

Ice princess:

he really doesn’t

you don’t see him sulking bc you only look at layla tho

Dad hyung:

damn what

I am so sorry, I’ll pay more attention to you

Ni-ki:

yuck

so it’s a no to the cat?

Kim Oosun:

unfortunately :(

Dad hyung:

its a no

Ice princess:

nope from me too

WHY are you asking about a cat again?

Ni-ki:

jieun picked up a stray cat but jungwon hyung is slightly allergic :(

he cant keep her unless he gets all itchy and sniffling

Kim Oosun:

…

jake hyung

Dad hyung:

i already said no

Kim Oosun:

pleeeeeeaaaase

Ice princess:

stay strong jake

Ni-ki:

pleeeeaaaaase?

Ice princess:

JAKE STAY STRONG

WE ARE A DOG HOUSEHOLD

Kim Oosun:

please?

Dad hyung:

No.

Ice princess:

his hands were shaking so hard lmfao

Ni-ki:

AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO JUNGWON HYUNG NOW???

Dad hyung:

forget about jungwon

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO MY SUNOO???

Kim Oosun:

well

you were supposed to say yes -.-

Dad hyung:

I’m SORRY okay? ㅠㅠ

but we really cant keep a cat

none of our doors close properly and the windows get stuck and the curtains are from the landlady!

Ice princess:

and I wouldn’t be able to bring my man :/

Kim Oosun:

youve never brought your hookups here

Ice princess:

ILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT HE IS MY ROMANTIC PARTNER WITH WHOM I AM IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP IN

and he’s been over plenty of times

you just werent home

and when you were, you were in your rooms

Ni-ki:

next time, keep him locked inside until one of us sees him smh

we will never believe you otherwise

Ice princess:

you literally tripped over his shoes last weekend.

Dad hyung:

ANYWAY

@Ni-ki when are you coming home

should sunoo or sunghoon pick you up?

Kim Oosun:

I’m at the lib rn anyway, I can pick you up!

give me 15 mins top

Ni-ki:

thatd be great ^^

to make sure I don’t throw myself in front of the bus after having to say no to jungwon hyung

Dad hyung:

skill issue

Kim Oosun:

:(

Dad hyung:

…

I’m not changing my mind sunny

Kim Oosun:

mean :(

Ice princess:

JAKE STAY STRONG ISTG

Ni-ki pockets his phone with a heavy sigh. He’s nervous about having to tell Jungwon ‘no’, as simple as the word may be pronounced in any language. But he’s looking up at him with hope shimmering in his big eyes, and Ni-ki is just a man, okay? Still, he will have to crush Jungwon’s hope that Ni-ki is the one who can keep Manifesto. Bad for Jungwon, good for Jieun.

“Uh, my housemates said no, sorry,” he mutters dejectedly and watches as Jungwon’s expression simmers into something sad. “Since this is kind of my fault, you can deduct half of the expenses from my pay.”

“What,” Jungwon snorts and shakes his head, “That’s crazy. I’m not gonna do that.”

“So we can keep her?” Jieun asks with a hardly suppressed yawn and cuddles into Jungwon’s chest, “She won’t bite you, appa. Or make you itchy. Or make you sick.”

“Okay, let’s keep her,” Jungwon agrees, and rests his cheek against the top of Jieun’s head, “But no Christmas gifts this year! Cat toys are expensive. And you can’t take her to Jay-hyung.”

“Why?” she whines and huddles closer to Jungwon’s shoulder, “She’ll be nice.”

“He’s more allergic than me,” he explains to her and strokes a hand over Jieun’s hair, “He’ll end up in the hospital.”

Jieun gasps and pulls away from Jungwon. Her eyes, previously almost shut as she was falling asleep, widen comically. She looks over to Manifesto with a panicked expression.

“Jay-oppa will die?!” she squeaks.

“N-No, not that bad!” Jungwon stammers and laughs. “He won’t die. But he’ll get very sick. Now, let’s get you to bed, hm?”

“Can Manifesto sleep in my bed?”

“Only for today.”

—

Sunoo arrives with his car about ten minutes later. Jungwon just finished tucking Jieun into bed when Ni-ki’s phone chimes with a message that only reads ‘Downstairs’ and nothing else. Kim Sunoo, a man of many words.

While Jungwon was getting Jieun ready for bed, Ni-ki was cleaning up the living room. He stuffed his laptop into his backpack, along with his half-finished portrait. His hand hovered over Jieun’s self-made family portrait. He wasn't sure what to do with it. Technically, it’s hers and she should keep it. But it would be weird if Jungwon saw that she included Ni-ki. He settled on simply flipping the page and stacking a little pile with her other drawings.

Ni-ki is already putting on his shoes when Jungwon steps out of Jieun's room and jogs through the entire hallway to say goodbye to him.

"I hope today was okay," he says to Ni-ki and sends him a lopsided grin.

"Totally," he reassures him, maybe a bit too fast to truly give him reassurance, "Well, except for Manifesto. And not knowing if Yumi is safe. And the whole thing with the Communist Manifesto."

Jungwon only chuckles lowly and shakes his head.

"I'm sure you'll get used to it soon," he says and pats Ni-ki's shoulder encouragingly. Well, it's probably supposed to encourage him. The only thing it does, though, is spread heat from his shoulder to the rest of his body, all the way to his flushed face. "When do you wanna get paid?"

"Friday?" he suggests, "Weekly. You can transfer it to my account, I'll send you the details."

"Sure," Jungwon chirps and pulls back to let Ni-ki open the door, "See you tomorrow then."

"Good night."

Ni-ki lets Jungwon close the door slowly. He probably should've moved instead of standing there like a fool, but Jungwon's eyes sparkled while he grinned up at Ni-ki up until the door fell shut and blocks the light from the apartment from coming out into the hallway. He stands there for a few more seconds before he shakes off his nerves and turns to walk down the stairs.

Sunoo can be pretty impatient.

[+]

Jungwon stares at the closed door for a few moments before he can suck in a deep, desperate breath. He's not sure what he was so nervous about. Jieun misbehaving? No, she's an angel and can do no wrong. Leaving a bad impression on Ni-ki? Hardly, Jungwon only leaves immaculate impressions on people. He doesn't say dumb stuff, and he doesn't do dumb stuff. Not to strangers or mere acquaintances anyway. Jay and Heeseung however...

No use in overthinking it. He's had a long day, hours of gruesome work and meetings, and he only wants to wash up and go to sleep now.

When he passes by the coffee table, he notices a neat stack of colourful papers with a box of crayons weighing down on it from the top. He picks up the first drawing and chuckles.

Maybe it's good that he let Jieun keep Manifesto. Most of the drawings look like a spotted cat (he thinks?), and the rest are flowers and houses and...

A family portrait.

It's easy to tell which one is Jieun. The shortest stick figure with a wobbly triangle as a dress and 'longer' black hair than the other two figures. The second tallest figure is Jungwon himself. If the 'appa' above the head isn't indication enough, it's definitely the ':3' face he seems to always make whenever Jieun draws him. He's not sure why she draws him like that, but he supposes it fits.

The tallest figure is Ni-ki. Jieun would call nobody else but him 'papa' and his stick figure is stupidly taller than both Jieun and Jungwon.

He holds the drawing in his hands and strokes a finger over Jieun's stick figure and her hands that are holding onto the hands of his own and Ni-ki's figures. The smile he tries to fight back tugs his lips upwards, nonetheless. He feels oddly warm in his chest.

Their fridge is magnetic, and it already has some of Jieun's drawings stuck to the front doors. When Jungwon walks over to reach on top of it to pull out the box of magnets, his hand hits something hard and he grabs it a little clumsily to pull it down. He runs a hand over the red book and its golden title.

It's the Communist Manifesto.

Chapter Text

“That’s okay, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll pick her up from the store then.”

“That sounds like she’s a takeout order.”

Jungwon’s laugh sounds through the speaker of Ni-ki’s phone. It's a Thursday evening, and Ni-ki has almost finished his whole first week of babysitting. He basically floated through the week, packed with classes and naps between, babysitting and studying and his job at the convenience store and nightly phone calls with K. Or Taki. Or Jungwon. Point is, Ni-ki could act as a teenage girl in one of those early 2000 movies with how much he's calling people.

Tomorrow marks the first time their schedules clash a little. Jungwon was suddenly dragged to a company dinner with his team (because he's been declining them ever since he joined the company and according to his co-workers, that just won't do), but Ni-ki's night shift at the convenience store starts at 9 pm. Jungwon probably won't make it back in time, so he has to take Jieun with him to his job. Since it's a Friday, Ni-ki is indispensable to Heeseung that night, with all the customers coming in after a weeklong of working hard and relaxing by basically running the store over in their search for unhealthy instant food and cheap booze.

"Alright, make sure to drink responsibly," Ni-ki cuts the conversation short, he promised Taki he would call him in a few minutes. And now that he's basically ending this phone call, he wishes that he could just tell Taki that they would talk later. He wants to keep talking to Jungwon. At the same time, it's probably better when Jungwon doesn't go to that company dinner tired.

"What are you, my mom?" Jungwon huffs, almost muffled by the rustling of his bedsheets, "I'm the older one."

"Ooh, but you're so much cuter than me," Ni-ki coos, and the conversation halts.

Haha.

Fuck.

"No, you," Jungwon responds with a snort that ends in a loud sneeze. Nooo. Cute. He sniffles cutely, and the sheets rustle again. "Sorry, Manifesto is sleeping on my pillow right now."

"I thought you said she wouldn't sleep anywhere near you?" he says and hardly manages to stifle his giggles. It's just so endearing that Jungwon apparently can't say no to neither his daughter Jieun nor her newest underling kitten.

God, he's got it so bad.

"I did!" Jungwon whines (hahah, yeah, Ni-ki's got it bad), and his sheets rustle again, "But she was resting here after I finished washing up. And Jieun's already asleep, too."

“Are you gonna be okay?” Ni-ki asks softly. His concern is hardly concealed, but it's not like he bothers to hide it. “She's got a kitty bed in the living room, right?” He turns in his bed, rustling the sheets. If he lays on his back and closes his eyes, he can almost pretend that he's talking to Jungwon in person. A bit creepy of him, probably. To miss someone he barely sees, let alone knows.

“She does,” Jungwon hums, “But I like her. Her fur’s soft.”

“Her fur is literally what gives you the allergic reaction,” Ni-ki laughs tiredly. He can hear Jungwon huff through the speakers of his phone, and it just makes him laugh more. “Hyung, don't snuggle her!”

“I do what I want,” Jungwon sulks, and from the sound of it, he yawns, “Shouldn't you go to sleep now? You have classes at 8:30.”

It's probably weird that Ni-ki feels this happy about hearing Jungwon say those words. Jungwon knows his schedule! He already knows his schedule! They’re moving so fast. Maybe a little too fast. Is Ni-ki even ready for a new relationship? That’s a lot to unpack there. Maybe he should go to sleep after all. It is almost midnight, and he still needs to call Taki and then maybe his sister, and he promised Sunghoon he’d go to the gym with him before class, and –

“Yeah, you’re right,” Ni-ki agrees easily, “We should both go to sleep. Long day tomorrow.”

“Mhm,” Jungwon hums – or yawns? “Sleep well.”

“You too.”

Ni-ki texts Taki that he’ll call another day. He has other people to listen to, like Jungwon. Or his sleep schedule.

—

There are days when getting a ride from Jake is cool. Like when it’s just them on the way to the gym and Jake lets him have the aux cord, or when it’s just them on the way to Ni-ki’s part time job, or when it’s just them driving to Ni-ki’s rented dance studio and he can distract Jake from the road by showing him the choreo he wants to learn that morning. This is not his old puppy crush speaking by the way. The point is, Jake is like his best friend in South Korea, and Ni-ki enjoys spending time with him.

He does not enjoy being squished in the backseat with Sunghoon while Jake drives and is being hand fed breakfast by Sunoo while they make disgusting smooching noises. What the fuck?

“Where is your car?” Ni-ki harshly whispers to Sunghoon and makes the grave mistake of leaning over to him, giving him a perfect view on just how high Jake placed his right hand on Sunoo’s thigh. Gross! Ni-ki is still eating his gimbap roll! “Why couldn’t you just drive us?!”

“I left it in the city last night,” Sunghoon grumbles, muffled by the bite of the sandwich he just took, “Was too drunk to drive back. Hubby wouldn’t let me.”

“Well, tell your ‘husband’ that a car crash would’ve been better because now we have to watch,” Ni-ki gestures as subtly as he can at Sunoo and Jake in the front, “this!” Sunghoon only gives him a noncommittal hum in response and keeps staring out of the window while munching on his sandwich. Great, he’s dead inside from his hangover. Ni-ki is the only one in the right mindset in this car. It’s only him, a zombie from the day before, his driver’s hand on a thigh and a – No. Nope. Not a thigh anymore!

“Jake-hyung, I’m just a kid!”

—

It’s already afternoon and Ni-ki still hasn’t forgotten about the horrors he had to face this morning. First Jake’s hand on Sunoo’s… stuff. Then going to the gym with a basically dead Sunghoon who almost died for real because he dropped the bar on him and was too weak to call out for help (this is why Ni-ki usually insists on spotting him), and then going to class, which is always a horror. At least things got better once he picked up Jieun.

Sure, Ni-ki got stared at by the other moms while he picked her up but it’s slowly been bothering him less than on Monday. They can think what they want. The only person who needs to like him is Jieun, and she was plenty happy to see him pick her up again. This time, she even packed her book away immediately to run up to him and grab his index finger as they left the school grounds and went home.

They’re getting along great, he thinks. After the disaster with the Communist Manifesto on Monday, Ni-ki just asked Sunoo to pick up a book that he could give to her. He specifically told Sunoo to get something ‘interesting, above a first-grader’s reading level’ and ended up giving Jieun an entire beat-up, secondhand Harry Potter book series because ‘fuck JKR, we’re not giving that bitch any more money’. Ni-ki fully agrees. And Jieun ended up loving it! She’s already on the second book and has been hissing at Ni-ki in an attempt to speak parseltongue which, despite the implications that she sees him as a snake, is really cute.

Unfortunately, Manifesto the kitten also reacts to the hissing and hisses back every time before she continues to roll over onto her back and play with Jieun’s braids.

“She’s so mean to me,” Jieun pouts and closes the book since she finished reading this chapter. With a heavy sigh, she moves Manifesto off her lap and slips off the couch. Her workbook lays open on the coffee table with her unfinished homework. She wanted a break after a few sentences because ‘Korean sucks’ (Ni-ki doesn’t agrees). Ni-ki let her take the break to read one chapter. “I think she likes appa better.”

Which stands in total contradiction to Manifesto climbing her shoulders and curling around her neck with a happy meow, rubbing her face against Jieun’s cheek and purring loudly.

“Maybe your appa looks more like a cat than you,” Ni-ki suggests, not yet ready to break Jieun’s heart by saying that animals can have favourites. Not that he can blame Manifesto. He, too, likes Jungwon a lot more than he likes Jieun. Or, at least, likes him in a different, deeper, all-consuming way. You know. A way that he, as an adult man, should only like other adults. “She’s your sister! Don’t you like your appa better, too?”

“Hm,” she hums in contemplation and picks up her pencil, “I do! I love appa the most in the world. And papa.”

‘Don’t start crying,’ Ni-ki warns himself and slams a hand over his mouth before he starts cooing out loud, ‘Oh my God, she’s so cute. Don’t start crying!’

Jieun, oblivious to Ni-ki’s emotional state, continues her homework. Her lips jut out in concentration, and it reminds Ni-ki of Jay when he’s checking the store’s finances or just… generally thinking hard about something.

But no more conversation. He can always ask her later how often Jay watches her. Right now, she needs to finish her homework. And so does he. He’s not sure why he needs to be able to draw a still-life drawing when he wants to become and elementary school teacher but whatever. Who is he to question the educational system?

They work in silence. Ni-ki draws a still-life of a stuffed toy he was allowed to borrow from Jieun (a fluffy sheep with a backpack) while Jieun does her homework. It’s a journal entry about something she’s done this week, just one page long in big, child-friendly hangul. For some reason, she decided to write about her Monday.

“Papa,” she calls out after a while after erasing a word over and over again, “How do you spell ‘bourgoisie’?”

“I…” Ni-ki looks up from his half-finished drawing and stares at her big eyes. She blinks at him, anticipating, expectant. Ni-ki doesn’t want to fail her after already saying that she loves him.

“I don’t know either.”

He fails both of them instead.

—

When they’re both done with schoolwork, Ni-ki lets Jieun watch her show while he heats up some leftovers for dinner. She’s not actively watching, though, because Manifesto decides in the exact moment that Ni-ki steps away that she wants to chase after a worm on a string. So Jieun has to flail the worm around, squealing happily whenever Manifesto almost catches.

Ni-ki watches from the kitchen, eyes so focused on Jieun and making sure that Manifesto doesn’t scratch her, he almost misses the note stuck to the tupperware Jungwon stored the leftovers in. It reads,

Can you fry the dumplings to reheat them?

Jieun likes them crispy :)

no burning the kitchen down!

Good luck mwah

‘Mwah’? ‘Mwah’? As in… a kiss ‘mwah’?

Ni-ki almost drops the tupperware while he fishes for his phone in one of his jeans pockets.

Group Chat: NO MOVING OUT XX

Ni-ki:

EMERGENCY

HELP

HYUNGS

HYUNGSSSSSSS

HYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUNNNGGGGGGSSSSSSSS

Dad hyung:

oh my god

whats wrong

what happened

Ice princess:

is jieun okay

are you hurt

Kim Oosun:

why are you panicking???

Ni-ki:

jieuns fine

BUT LOOK

[1 image attached]

Ice princess:

you said emergency.

i was in the middle of feeding my man

Kim Oosun:

your man is not real

wake up sunghoon hyung

Ice princess:

my man is very hurt you said that

Kim Oosun:

pic or it didn’t happen.

Ice princess:

i am not sending you a picture of my man

who knows what youll do with it

Kim Oosun:

excuse me??

Dad hyung:

sunoo would never do anything wrong

has never, will never

you can trust him with a pic

Ice princess:

No.

my partner is shy, he doesn’t want that

and i am a respectful good man

unlike someone else in this gc

Kim Oosun:

@Ni-ki

Ni-ki:

DONT @ ME

I AM FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS NOTE

i’m gonna throw up

i’m gonna cry

what does he mena by thsat

Dad hyung:

probably that you shouldnt burn down his kitchen and that Jieun likes her dumplings crispy

Ice princess:

mwah is a kissing noise btw

a little peck on the cheek or nose

Ni-ki:

AND HOW WOULD YOUR SINGLE ASS KNOW THAT

Ice princess:

I AM A TAKEN MAN

TAKEN BY ANOTHER MAN

STOP SAYING HE DOESNT EXIST

:(

Kim Oosun:

Prove that he exists.

Ice princess:

No.

i’m gonna complain about you guys now, ttyl!

love my man and his patience because i don’t have any for you

Ni-ki:

IS HE GIVING ME A SMOOCH???

FR????

YANG JUNGWON

doesnt he know i am crazy in love with him

Dad hyung:

i mean

have you told him

Ni-ki:

no

i’m crazy in love, not crazy!

Kim Oosun:

then how would he know lol

…

hey

Ni-ki:

what

Kim Oosun:

dont keep that random sticky note and frame it or something

Ni-ki:

i

i wasnt thinking about that

Dad hyung:

SUNNY

dont give him ideas oh my god

Kim Oosun:

oops

Ni-ki:

nonononono

it’s a great idea

i will do exactly that

Kim Oosun:

i just told you NOT to do it

Ni-ki:

youre just mad jake hyung doesn’t give you a smooch on little sticky notes

Dad hyung:

thats right

i dont

because i can smooch him for real <3

Kim Oosun:

<3

Ni-ki:

disgusting

get your gay asses out of my chat

Kim Oosun:

you wish you were us <3

Ni-ki:

lies

—

Ni-ki manages to fry the dumplings without burning down the kitchen through the power of love and a lot of nervously flipping the dumplings every few seconds so none of them can get stuck on the pan and go up in flames. He poured as little oil as possible and kept the heat of the stove very low. That’s why it also takes him over half an hour just to reheat those dumplings and get them crispy. He’s a bit behind on time but that’s fine. He’ll just have to… ask Jungwon if he can leave the dishes in the sink. Dirty.

… Yeah, that sounds like a shitty idea.

But he’s running out of time. Usually, Ni-ki wouldn’t stress over it. He could just skate a little faster. Just not today. Because today, he needs to take Jieun with him, and he can neither carry her and his backpack and his skateboard all the way while he runs, nor can he just carry her while he skates. He planned in a buffer of five extra minutes, and it starts now.

Ni-ki rips a yellow sticky note off the pile and hastily scrawls ‘Sorry for the dishes, out of time :(‘ before sticking it to the front door. Jieun, thank goodness that Jungwon raises her with as much independency as possible, has already put on her shoes and is waiting for him outside, Manifesto draped over her shoulders like a scarf. The Harry Potter book she’s reading is sticking out of her small backpack.

“Papa, shouldn’t you hurry?” she asks him just as he closes the door, “You said nine, and it’s almost nine.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, a little stressed. This would be the first time ever since he started working for Heeseung and Jay that he would be late for a Friday night shift. He doesn’t want to find out what his bosses are like when truly angry. “Let’s go?”

Jieun nods diligently and grabs his index finger. Ni-ki notices that, as they walk, she speeds up her steps every few seconds and pulls ahead, then notices that Ni-ki is walking slower and holding her back, so she slows down again. It’s cute. It’s also a little concerning that she already knows what ‘running late’ is.

—

They arrive just in time, a few seconds before the clock strikes nine, and Ni-ki is already throwing his backpack over the counter. He almost misses. Almost hits Jay in the face who ducks his head with a loud yelp.

“Watch it!” he warns him and slams his fist halfheartedly onto the paperwork sprawled over the counter. “We can’t claim it as a work incident if it happens before your shift.”

Heeseung throws his head back as he laughs. Jay meanwhile rounds the corner with an excited grin, already crouching down to greet Jieun, when he freezes, halfway on the floor in a position that can’t be comfortable on his legs. He blinks at her a few times. Jieun only stares back.

Manifesto meows loudly.

“Oh my God,” Heeseung gasps and falls to his knees in front of Jieun. He takes her little hands into his with another big smile and scrunched up face. “Jieun-ie, you got a pet!”

“I do!” she agrees proudly and puffs her chest. Manifesto rubs her face against her cheek and purrs loudly. “I named her Manifesto. Appa let me keep her. But property is theft! She just likes us and stays.”

Ni-ki isn’t sure if he would agree with that. Then again, Manifesto didn’t try to escape while they made their way to the convenience store. So there might just be some truth behind Jieun’s confidence. Or enough food. Ni-ki knows that he would stay with the human who feeds him enough if he was a kitten. That’s the whole reason why he’s living with Jake and Sunghoon. Not Sunoo, though. Sunoo needs to be fed just as much as Ni-ki.

“Ah, your appa did?” Jay’s face has drained of all color. For someone with such tan skin, he looks oddly white now. “How come he didn’t tell me?”

“He didn’t?” Jieun asks, oblivious to whatever is going on in her favorite, very much allergic uncle, is going on. “But he’s always on his phone! Is he not talking to you?”

‘Oh my God,’ Ni-ki realizes, ‘We’ve been texting all week.’

“I haven’t heard from your appa in so long,” Jay pouts and shoots Heeseung a glare when he starts to giggle, “He only told me that you would come today. Not that you’d bring a cat—”

“—her name is Manifesto,” Jieun interrupts him.

“That you’d bring,” Jay glances at the kitten draped over her small shoulders, “Manifesto with you.”

“Aren’t they cute, Jongseong?” Heeseung laughs and shakes Jieun’s hands playfully, “You look very alike. She could be you as cat, Jieun!”

“Papa said she’s my sister,” Jieun tells him happily and turns her head to look up to Ni-ki with a bright smile, “That means Papa now has me and Manifesto!”

Just kill him now.

“Yup,” Ni-ki croaks weakly and gives her a forced smile and a thumbs up, “Got you both.”

“She’s not shedding her fur yet, is she?” Jay asks, his voice going higher in pitch as he straightens his legs and takes a few steps back - away from Jieun. “Jieun-ie, how about we set up a little play pen for her, hm? So she doesn’t run around the store and gets hurt.”

Jieun agrees easily, not knowing that Jay is manipulating her so he doesn’t have to get fur everywhere and die of an allergic reaction. Or go blind. Either is possible apparently.

They let Jieun sit on the stool behind the counter, Manifesto’s little cardboard box propped up on another stool. Jay goes to the back to ‘check their inventory again’ while Heeseung mans the cash register and Ni-ki walks the aisles to stock up the shelves.

The evening starts slow enough. The regular rush once the after-school cram schools are finished, and another rush when all the workers finish work. In-between, it’s calm. Ni-ki gets to joke around with Heeseung and tease Jay by holding Manifesto up. Jieun behaves well, quietly reading and barely registering the people around her. She’s very immersed into her book, and none of the three adults notice that she’s even there.

—

A little before the usual drunk people walk in, already well past midnight, Jieun starts to yawn. Her eyes flutter shut every few seconds and her book drops from her face to her lap. Jungwon is nowhere to be seen.

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung !

Are you okay?

Jieun is really tired and idk how much longer she can stay awake on that stool tbh

Hello! This is one of Yang Jungwon’s coworkers.

Our manager overdid it a little today.

He’s really drunk, we’ll bring him home in a bit.

Not home

This convenience store please

[1 location attached]

That’s good too!

Do you have tteokbokki?

We do!

Open 24/7

We’ll be there in a bit then!

Thank you

Ni-ki pockets his phone with a sigh and glances at Jieun next to him. Her head is already lolling back and forth. Even Manifesto has gone to sleep in her cardboard box, now plopped into Ni-ki’s lap as they wait for the rush of drunk people to arrive.

The store is fairly empty, and all customers have been tended to. Heeseung is ringing up a young woman, blonde and pretty and trying to flirt with him. Heeseung laughs awkwardly. His face is flushed in embarrassment, and he can’t hold eye contact as well as he usually does with customers.

“Are you here every day, handsome?” she asks, a slight accent tinging her voice. Hm… European?

“Yes,” he speaks, cheeks turning even redder, “I own this store. With my friend.” He points at Jay restocking the ramyeon packs in aisle three.

“He’s cute, too,” the woman hums.

“He’s married,” Heeseung tells her, voice already firmer, “Very much in love. High school sweethearts. Loves his partner.”

“And do you have one?” she remains undeterred. Ni-ki almost chokes on his strawberry milk. She’s bold. Bolder than Korean women, at least, and it seems to catch Heeseung off guard just as much as it did Ni-ki. He turns impossibly redder and stammers through half a word, then gets a coughing attack.

“He does.”

Ni-ki turns his head to the big glass door just as Yang Jeongin walks in. He’s dressed a little too casually yet cool, with wide pants, a snapback and a shirt that definitely belongs to Heeseung. Ni-ki shrinks a little in fear.

It’s not because Jeongin is very intimidating. He’s shorter than Ni-ki and only rarely shows up. But Ni-ki has seen his arms, and his friends’ arms, and the first time he met Jeongin, he bought every kind of energy drink that exists in their store while grinning in excitement as if he couldn’t wait to drink all of them in one go and give himself a heart attack. And then he fell in love with Heeseung. Only crazy people do that.

The energy drinks, not falling in love with Heeseung. Falling in love with Heeseung is very normal and has happened to the best of people (like Jake, and Sunoo, and maybe Ni-ki, too).

“And you are?” the woman asks, more surprised than irritated that her flirting has been interrupted.

“His boyfriend,” Jeongin declares casually and shrugs, hand stuffed into the pockets of his pants. He smiles at her. “Hi.”

“Oh! A boyfriend.” The woman, now clearly showing signs of being at least tipsy, nods her head in a jerkingly, clumsy motion. “Good for you guys. Go gays!”

Go gays, indeed.

“What’s gay?” Jieun pipes up, words slurred from being so tired, and rubs her eyes. She’s pouting and frowning now, clearly upset that she’s still awake. Ni-ki carefully pulls her head against his shoulder so she can rest a little.

“It’s when two guys are dating,” he explains her patiently.

“Or just yearning for each other,” the woman adds helpfully. Heeseung stares at her like she’s crazy.

“What’s yearning?” Jieun asks again, voice getting whiny.

“It’s when two guys want to date each other but haven’t said that they love each other yet,” she continues and nods as if to agree with herself.

“Like my appa?” Jieun mutters and cuddles into Ni-ki’s side, “And papa?”

Say what now.

“No!” he squeaks and almost jumps up. But that would not only disturb Jieun, but also Manifesto, so he doesn’t. “No yearning there. Your appa and I—”

“—seem very gay,” the woman cuts him off.

“Lady,” Heeseung snorts and nods at the person standing behind her. Jeongin, his boyfriend. “You’re holding up the line. Please move aside.”

“I don’t understand",” Jieun complains and buries her face in Ni-ki’s shirt, “Papa doesn’t want to be with appa?”

What has this woman done.

Ni-ki glances around for help. Heeseung is barely holding back his laughter when he sees the panic in his face. Jeongin is just laughing. Even Jay, who has now returned to the counter, is trying hard not to laugh at him. None of these people are of help.

Oh no. This is going to be so embarrassing.

“That’s not true,” he coos quietly at Jieun and hugs her closer, “I want to be with your appa a lot. Wouldn’t it be fun? You’d be there, too!”

If glares could kill, none of his hyungs would be alive right now. Stop laughing! This isn’t funny! Ni-ki just had to confess to a kindergartener that he is in love with her father.

“Sounds fun,” Jieun agrees and yawns loudly. “Tomorrow?”

“N-No,” Ni-ki stammers and bites his lip. Is it hot in the store? He’s feeling really warm all of a sudden. “I can’t tomorrow. On Monday!”

“Okay,” she agrees easily and yawns again. Her eyes are closed now.

“Jieun,” Jay calls out to her, which she only acknowledges with a quiet hum, “Are you tired? You can go sleep in the back.”

“No,” she declines and rubs her head against Ni-ki’s side - or shakes it, whatever, “Appa isn’t here. I sleep when appa is here. Want to say good night to him.”

Jay exchanges a look with Ni-ki who shakes his head.

‘A bit longer,’ he mouths to him. Jay sighs and goes back to restocking the shelves.

Jeongin strolls up to the counter, hands still stuffed into his pockets. He grins at Ni-ki and then at Heeseung before his arm reaches over the counter and he pulls Heeseung into a quick peck.

“Hi, handsome,” he teases him and wriggles his eyebrows, “You single?”

“Definitely not,” Heeseung giggles and lets Jeongin pull him into another kiss, “How come you’re here? I thought you were out with your friends.”

“Had to escape Hyunjin-hyung. And Chan-hyung. And Minho-hyung,” he shrugs and sighs, “We went drinking. You know how they get.” Heeseung nods empathetically. Ni-ki meanwhile has no idea, but he can only assume that it’s bad.

“Nobody managed to smooch you yet?” Heeseung jokes and quickly shuts up when Jeongin shoots him a sharp look.

“Don’t jinx it,” he warns him and breaks into his easy smile again. “I’ve been evading them so good! It’s almost like you want them to kiss me.”

“No.”

As cute as their banter is, Jieun is tired. She slumps against Ni-ki with another loud yawn, barely able to hide it behind her hand. Ni-ki glances around the store. Jungwon still hasn’t arrived of course, his colleague just barely texted him. Still, Ni-ki is impatient. It’s already long past midnight, and Jungwon’s drinking evening started at 7 pm. Do adults usually drink for that long? Just how drunk…?

“Anyway, this is all for me,” Jeongin ends his banter with Heeseung and slides a can of an energy drink over the counter. “I still need to get my rank up. When are you coming back today?”

“Uhm, probably 3 or 4 am,” he replies and scans the neon pink can.

Next to Ni-ki, Jieun perks up.

“That drink looks funny,” she mumbles and points at it, “Is it pink juice?”

“It’s a drink for adults,” Heeseung explains to her softly and smiles down to her, “They make us stay awake longer. But if we sleep too little, we will still feel tired later.”

“It moves your bedtime?” she wonders, and it makes everyone chuckle in amusement.

“Yeah,” Ni-ki runs a hand through her bangs and lets her pull away so she can sit up straight again, “Not very good for a long time. It has lots of sugar, too, so you will get cavities from too much.”

That’s when Jeongin leaves. He bids farewell to Ni-ki and Jay, lets Heeseung press a kiss to his cheek, and waves at Jieun with a warm smile adorning his face. It’s then that the first drunk people start to filter in and grab a few midnight snacks to fill their stomachs with more than just liquor. Ni-ki immediately jumps up to man the cash register while Heeseung and Jay get to cleaning up after the customers to avoid one big mess after they leave again and restocking everything as quickly as possible.

They are so busy that none of them notice Jieun sneaking off her stool and disappearing for a few moments before retreating back behind the counter so she wouldn’t get trampled. Sluggishly, she scratches Manifesto under her chin. She struggles to open the can. Takes her first sip.

—

Ni-ki is a horrible babysitter. He notices it especially when the first group of drunk people leave and the second wave enters, and Jieun seems to be vibrating out of her own skin as she obediently remains sitting on her stool, swinging her legs and chatting up Manifesto that she is now cradling in her arms like a baby. But he can’t just stop scanning items, working the cash register.

Every time Ni-ki thinks the queue has cleared and grown smaller, more people get in line, and he has to start all over again. It’s almost annoying, how clearly drunk and incapable these people are. One guy didn’t even understand why his card was declined with his bank account in the negatives. That’s not Ni-ki’s fault? So why was he the one getting blamed?

The seconds trickle by. Before he knows it, Jieun has somehow managed to drink two cans of energy drinks while he was busy working. When he can finally catch his breath, when the line seems to have finally cleared, only thirty minutes have passed.

“Jieun?” he calls out to her, “Are you okay? You’re fidgety.”

“Nuh-uh,” she denies and shakes her head, fidgeting in her seat, “I’m okay.”

Two neon pink cans roll out from behind her stool, somewhere she’d tried to hide them. Ni-ki’s face drains of all color.

“Did you drink those?” he asks her, voice already tinged with annoyance. She seems unimpressed, barely even registers a tone that is probably the closest to a scolding she’s ever gotten.

“Maybe,” she admits and shrugs, “You said it makes me awake. I don’t want to sleep before appa comes.”

Ni-ki can’t argue with that logic. He’s also too tired for it, to be honest, and his patience has worn thin. But it’s not his job to scold Jieun for drinking one or two energy drinks. Ni-ki is nothing more than a babysitter.

“Your appa will be here soon,” he reassures her, just as a cab pulls up to their store and a young man gets out. Following him, Jungwon stumbles out of the car, almost tripping over his own feet. Even from this distance, Ni-ki can tell that Jungwon is grinning brightly - giggling even. “There he is! Let’s go say hi?”

“Okay!” she agrees easily and whizzes around the counter. Ah, so cute. Ni-ki almost wants to do the same. He’s just so happy that Jungwon is finally back. “Appa!”

“Ah, Jieun!” Jungwon turns on his heels, twisting his upper body first before his feet follow where he wants to go, “Hii!”

He stumbles around the corner, swaying on his feet and bumping his hip against the counter. His arms are spread wide to pull Jieun into a hug. Midway through crouching down, however, he loses his balance and tips over, crashing into Ni-ki's long legs. 

"Oh, sorry," he mumbles and wraps thin fingers around Ni-ki's ankle while pushing himself up again. "Sorry, just one second."

"Hyung..." Ni-ki is fine with drinking. He's also fine with drunk people. He's just so concerned because he didn't think that Jungwon would be this drunk. "Are you okay? Can you stand?"

"I'm okay!" Jungwon slurs, giggling and stumbling. When he attempts to pull himself up, he grabs Ni-ki's pants and almost humiliates him in public, but that's okay. He's not wearing strawberry panties today, so it's fine. "Calvin Klein. Very basic."

Or it's not fine. 

"Hyung, don't judge my underwear," Ni-ki whines quietly and helps him up, slipping an arm around his waist to support him standing. Jungwon's body presses against his side, oh so warm, and so tiny. His head lolls only Ni-ki's shoulder with a satisfied hum, and he even goes as far as rubbing his cheek against it. "Jungwon-hyung?"

"Hm?"

"Appa!"

Jieun runs up to him making grabby hands as if she wants to be either picked up or hugged, face split into a wide-awake grin. 

"Hi, baby," Jungwon coos and raises his hand to tousle her hair almost aggressively, "Ready to go home?" 

"I can run home!" she tells him happily and jumps, throwing herself against Ni-ki and Jungwon’s legs, “Appa, let’s race home, yes?”

Jungwon opens his mouth to answer but stops in the middle of it, no word coming from him. He frowns at her, confused, eyebrows creasing and lips jutting out in a pout.

“Why are you awake?” he nags her, a scolding already on the tip of his tongue.

“Uhm…” Jieun helplessly glances around before here eyes lock with Ni-ki’s. She blinks rapidly, then blurts, “We took a nap earlier!”

Jungwon’s eyes widen, his mouth forming an adorable ‘o’ shape, as her turns to Ni-ki with shiny eyes. Then, this look is soon replaced by sheer, child-like excitement. Jungwon makes a noise akin to a squeal - if squeals can be slurred - and throws his arms around Ni-ki’s neck to hug him tightly.

“You got her to nap?!” he exclaims and shakes him around a little, “Ni-ki, that’s amazing - Jieun never naps!”

Warmth spreads through Ni-ki’s body which quickly turns into the feeling of getting a bucket of ice water dunked all over him. He wishes that he could share Jungwon’s excitement, enjoy the hug and the obvious happiness from him. Maybe he’d even like the way Jungwon has to go on his tiptoes to fully hug him, that Ni-ki has to lean down to awkwardly wrap his arms around Jungwon’s tiny waist, and the skin he touches when his shirt rides up.

Unfortunately, he just feels bad. This seems to be a huge achievement in Jungwon’s eyes, and it was a lie.

They never napped. Ni-ki just let Jieun drink an energy drink, which is probably the exact opposite of what Jungwon is happy about. Besides, what toddler doesn’t like to nap?! Even Ni-ki naps, and he’s a fully grown adult.

“Yes, but now,” Ni-ki winks at Jieun and hopes that she gets the hint, “She wants to go home and sleep. Isn’t that right?”

“Yeah!” she catches on quickly and nods, “Manifesto is also suuuper tired.”

“Hyung, can you stand?” Ni-ki asks him and pulls away from the hug, hands still resting on Jungwon’s hips to stabilize him. He sways a little in Ni-ki’s arms, so he supposes that’s a ‘maybe’.

“No,” Jungwon hums nonchalantly, “I don’t. My coworker had to carry me into the cab.”

That’s… less than ideal.

“Just go!” Jay calls out to him, “Get him home, we got this.”

And so, Ni-ki grabs a water bottle and shoves it into his pockets. He holds Jungwon with one arm, and Jieun with his free hand. She carries Manifesto’s cardboard box. Together, they leave the convenience store.

—

The walk to Jungwon’s apartment takes longer than usual. Jungwon doesn’t just stumble over his own feet, but also Ni-ki’s. He’s basically just leaning against Ni-ki’s side like a limp human-sized and human-shaped jelly, the smell of alcohol wafting off his head. He hums a quiet melody under his breath, and he seems a little drowsy. His arm is thrown over Ni-ki’s shoulders, a barely noticable weight on his back.

“Did you have fun?” Ni-ki asks him to break the silence. He feels awkward. Usually, with Sunghoon, or Jake and Sunoo drunk, they chatter his ears off. He’s not used to quiet drunks. Not even Jieun is talking, more interested in trying different ways to carry a cardboard box in one hand.

“I didn’t,” he admits quietly, “I kept thinking about you and Jieun. Wanted to leave a lot earlier but my manager kept refilling my glass. I hate the social norms for drinking. I’m sorry I didn’t make it back earlier and… that you have to walk me home now.”

“It’s okay,” Ni-ki reassures him and squeezes his side, “I just want to make sure you get home safely.”

“You’re a real gentleman,” he teases him and giggles, “So cute.”

“I, uh, thank you,” Ni-ki stammers, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. It’s not that remarkable, is it? Sunoo’s friends often bring him home like this when they go out. Jake doesn’t even mind, so it’s nothing romantic. Just something not shitty. “Are you feeling sick? Dizzy? Do you need water?”

“No, no, and no," Jungwon giggles again, amused. “I’m okay.”

Still, he slurs his words and trips over Ni-ki’s foot. His sense of balance is way off. If it wasn’t for Ni-ki holding him and pressing their sides together, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, he would have fallen over.

And he’s warm. So, so warm.

Ni-ki mindlessly smooths his thumb over Jungwon’s side, hand partly under his shirt, and caresses his soft skin. He’s warm and a little squishy. When Ni-ki squeezes his hand just a little tighter, he can feel Jungwon’s flesh spilling from between his fingers.

Once his thumb touches the fabric of Jungwon’s pants and Ni-ki catches himself.

‘Oh fuck.’

He stops to adjust his grip, jostling Jungwon in his hold as he hastily tries to smooth down his shirt so he wouldn’t have to touch Jungwon’s side directly. Intimately. Ni-ki can’t just do creepy stuff like that while Jungwon is drunk just because he can’t control himself with how close they are, how soft Jungwon is in his hold.

He clears his throat and says, “Just a bit longer. We’re almost home.”

Which is better for Jungwon and Jieun to rest, and for Ni-ki to snap out of his thirst delusions.

It’s painfully silent for the rest of the way, Jungwon picking up the song he was humming again and the effect of the energy drink quickly leaving Jieun. She crashes surprisingly fast from those coffeine highs. Ni-ki, meanwhile, is very focused on not saying or doing anything stupid.

‘You touched him!’

‘It’s just his skin! I touched his skin before.’

‘Yes, the skin on his hands, not the hip!’

‘Oh my God, I touched his hip…’

‘Like a creep.’

‘His waist is so small…’

‘You! Stop it!’

Thankfully, time passes incredibly fast when Ni-ki argues with himself in his head. Before he knows it, they’ve made it into Jungwon’s apartment. Ni-ki only realises when Jungwon removes his arm from around his shoulders and leans down to take off his shoes, losing his balance and almost falling over. Jieun has already taken off her shoes and placed Manifesto’s box on the couch, arms reaching in to pet her gently.

“Here, let me,” Ni-ki murmurs and lets Jungwon sit down, leaning with his back against the door, while Ni-ki takes off his shoes for him and puts them on the rack. Jungwon’s head lolls to the side again and he makes a disgruntled noise, scrunching his face adorably. “Bathroom? Or bed?”

“Bathroom,” Jungwon mumbles. His voice has grown quiet from sleepiness, and his eyes flutter shut. “Jieun and I need to brush our teeth.”

“But I’m not tired yet!” Jieun protests loudly when she hears her name.

“Bed time,” Jungwon decides stubbornly and pushed himself to his wobbly feet, falling back against Ni-ki’s chest with a huff, “Let’s go. Brush your teeth.”

“But I don’t wanna,” she whines and waddles up to them with little, angry stomps.

“But we’re going to bed now, aren’t we?” he hums and bends down to pat her head clumsily, “And you need to brush your teeth before sleeping.”

“I don’t wanna sleep yet,” she complains, but she lets Jungwon lead her to the bathroom regardless, “Appa, can you read to me?”

Ni-ki doesn’t hear how the rest of the conversation goes. Or rather, he doesn’t focus on it anymore. Hesitantly, he walks into Jungwon’s bedroom and pushes the door open. It’s a small bedroom, kept simple and clean. Just a neat bed with a bedside table and a tall, white wardrobe.

Ni-ki flicks the switch to turn the light on, and once he does, he carefully steps inside. He moves as if he has to sneak in for some reason, slow and soundless steps as he walks over to Jungwon’s wardrobe and slides it open. Jungwon’s pyjamas department is easy to find. It’s on the bottom right, sets neatly sorted and folded in pairs. Ni-ki doesn’t ponder long and just picks up the set on the very top, setting it aside for Jungwon before stepping out of the bedroom again and walking into the kitchen.

As he walks by the bathrooms, he can faintly hear Jieun talking to Jungwon happily and fully energised, not yet ready for bed. Jungwon hums are muffled by the toothbrush in his mouth, but he seems to be listening to her attentively.

The dirty dishes from Ni-ki’s dinner with Jieun are still in the sink. He should clean those up before he leaves. But before that, he goes to the fridge, reaches for the handle, and freezes.

There, on the lower door where Ni-ki doesn’t look because it’s so far away from his eye level, is Jieun’s drawing of her, Manifesto, Jungwon and -

‘Me. That’s me.’

He crouches down. The drawing is fixed to the fridge with a heart and a cat magnet on the top edges of the paper. His heart hammers against his ribcage. This is crazy. This is a drawing of him as part of the family, and Jungwon loved it so much that he put it on the fridge.

“Fuck.”

—

“Hyung?”

It took a while but Ni-ki eventually did the dishes and got Jieun to go to bed, if not for reading then at least for sleeping. When he peeks through the small gap of the door into Jungwon’s bedroom, he’s already changed into his pyjamas and rolled himself into a blanket burrito. His eyes are closed, but he hums again to signal that he’s still listening to Ni-ki.

“I brought you water,” he tells him, voice lowered to practically a whisper. Jungwon looks like he’s ready to fall asleep any moment now. “I couldn’t find any hangover meds, so you should drink lots.”

“Thank you,” Jungwon exhales slowly and blinks his eyes open. His eyelashes flutter until he can look at Ni-ki with round eyes and a pleased smile. “Will you stay?”

“I… I don’t think I can,” he declines slowly and puts the water bottle down onto the nightstand, “I need to go back to the store and finish my shift – ”

“Please stay.”

[+]

Jungwon has never experienced a hangover before. He became a father long before he was allowed to legally drink, so he’s not even gone drinking with other people a lot. Never to this extent at least. Jay and Heeseung were always considerate of Jieun’s bed time, and of Jungwon’s alcohol tolerance, so waking up with a pounding headache and an uncomfortable churn in his stomach is… a new experience.

He turns on the side with a grunt. This sucks. He feels disgusting, the bitter aftertaste of liquor still lingering in his mouth despite having brushed his teeth the night before. Despite the AC being on, his pyjama shirt sticks to his sweaty skin. The little light that manages to come into his room through the blinds is already too bright.

Light?

Abruptly, he throws back his sheets and sits up. It was a horrible decision as his head starts spinning and he has to find his balance again before he clumsily pats around for his phone.

It’s 10 am.

And he has a bunch of messages from Heeseung and Jay from last night.

Group Chat: heejay and baby

Jay hyung:

Did you make it home safely?

Ni-ki took you but he’s not responding either

Only sent a msg that he won’t be back

Should I call the police

Heeseung hyung:

Jay lmao relax

Jay hyung:

He literally said he wouldn’t come back and then just stopped responding!

I WILL DO EVERYTHING BUT RELAX

Heeseung hyung:

To you maybe lol

He replied to me

He’s staying at jungwon’s

Jay hyung:

WHAT

Jungwon!!

Give me back my employee! We need to clean up!

Jungwon:

…

Good morning?

Jay hyung:

You’re alive!

Jungwon:

I dont think my manager gave me enough to give me alcohol poisoning

But it got really close.

Heeseung hyung:

Can you tell Ni-ki that he can come pick up his stuff later?

It’s all here

Jungwon:

He didn’t pick it up earlier?

Heeseung hyung:

No? I think he’s still at your place.

Ni-ki is where.

Jungwon rushes out of bed, maybe a little too quickly. He gets tangled up in his sheets and almost slams his face into the floor if he didn’t catch himself. But now is not the time to be relieved. He has to check something.

Lightheaded and dizzy, Jungwon stumbles into the hallway, then into the living room.

There, Ni-ki is peacefully asleep on the couch, long limbs curled up to fit, and Manifesto curled up next to the curve of his stomach. His face has smoothed out in his sleep, which makes him look… younger. More innocent. Almost like a baby. Jungwon wants to throw up from the realisation of just how young Ni-ki is.

“Jungwon-hyung?” Ni-ki stirs awake, not abruptly but faster than Jungwon can prepare himself for, “How are you feeling?”

“I have a headache.” He feels breathless, lightheaded. The room spins. “Why are you still here? Didn’t you have to finish your shift?”

Ni-ki sits up, the thin sheet that Jungwon always keeps on the couch in case he and Jieun want to cuddle up while watching something slipping off his shoulders and to his lap, presses his palms against his eyes with a tired groan and scrunches his face. His hair is tousled, sticking up wildly – cutely – and he’s wearing the same shirt from yesterday.

He looks at Jungwon groggily before the corners of his lips tug upwards into a smile. Then, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, he says,

“You asked me to stay. So I stayed.”

Chapter Text

Preparing breakfast with Jungwon is… awkward at best, and the most humiliating experience of Ni-ki's life at worst. He's not sure why he's still here, to be honest, and the voice in his head nags him to grab his stuff from the convenience store, apologise to Heeseung for just disappearing, and go home to wallow in his misery.

Instead, he's helping Jungwon make breakfast. Or rather, Jungwon is making breakfast and Ni-ki is setting the table. After the embarrassing moment this morning, where Ni-ki fell off the couch and took the blanket with him to the ground, twisting it around his lower body enough so it would hide his underwear (yes, still the Calvin Kleins because this ‘sleepover’ was very spontaneous and he usually doesn’t pack a second pair of underwear when he leaves the house), Jungwon has not been able to look at him.

Ni-ki has his own reasons why he can’t look at Jungwon.

He’s honestly surprised that he was able to fall asleep, or that he didn’t wake up Jungwon through the wall. His phone call with Taki got loud enough that the next-door neighbour pounded on the wall to tell Ni-ki to shut up.

Either way, it’s awkward. Despite not being able to look into Ni-ki’s eyes, Jungwon insisted he stay for breakfast if he’s already here, and Ni-ki agreed to stay. Again.

“Won’t you stay?” Jungwon asked him, eyelashes fluttering prettily as his cheeks were dusted in pink. He couldn’t keep eye contact and not make it obvious. Despite his eagerness to have Ni-ki stay for breakfast, he had his head turned away from him. “I feel bad that you had to stay the night because of me.”

“Yeah, okay,” Ni-ki felt breathless. Or maybe it was just the sleep deprivation finally catching up to his poor, young body. “I’ll stay.”

A stupid mistake, really. Ni-ki just wants to go home and call Taki again, catch up on his readings and lose himself in Animal Crossing so he doesn’t have the brain capacity to overthink last night.

“Can you wake up Jieun?” Jungwon breaks the silence, but he doesn’t bother to turn around to face Ni-ki. Regardless, Ni-ki can see the blush spreading all the way down his neck and probably back. How much does he remember from last night? “I’m almost done with this.

“Yeah, I’ll wake her up.”

Ni-ki from last night, a mere seven hours ago maybe, would be elated at how domestic it feels. This would be a dream come true for past Ni-ki. He’s making breakfast with his partner and waking up their daughter. It’s a quiet, peaceful Saturday morning.

Ni-ki from seven hours ago doesn’t exist anymore. He trudges into the hallway, sickened by the dread spreading in his stomach. Everything feels far away. Even Jieun’s door, only a few steps into the hallway, seems impossible to reach. Somehow, he still manages to inch the door open and peek into Jieun’s room.

She’s still sleeping, completely knocked out from last night (or this night, technically). Her night light is still plugged in, the little white sheep glowing in the dark. Manifesto is curled up around her head, spread out like a halo. Only she stirs when Ni-ki steps inside with the light from the hallway falling into the room through the slit in the door.

“Mrrow,” she makes quietly and sits up, head flopping down again to rest in Jieun’s hair.

“Hey, baby,” he greets her quietly and crouches down. Manifesto cranes her neck towards him and offers her head with a loud purr, so he scratches her under the chin. She’s so tiny that her head can easily rest on Ni-ki’s index finger alone. “Did you two sleep well?”

She makes a confirmative noise, or maybe a non-confirmative one. How would Ni-ki know. He doesn’t speak cat.

Ni-ki wakes Jieun with a gentle rub on her stomach. She stirs slowly and blinks her eyes open until they land on Ni-ki. When she sees him, and her brain registers that it, in fact, is him, she springs up with a squeal.

“Papa!” She throws her arms around his neck and engulfs him in a hug. “Is it Monday already?”

“No, it’s—“

“But you only come on Monday after school. Did I miss school?! Appa!”

She jumps out of bed and dashes into the hallway, yelling, “Appa, why didn’t you wake me for school?!”

“What?” Jungwon shrieks, flustered, “But you don’t have school!”

Ni-ki can’t help but laugh, no matter how down he feels. Jieun always manages to make him laugh. She’s just so cute.

Manifesto pushes her head against his palm and meows at him again, quieter this time, almost pitying. Or maybe she’s not pitying him. How would Ni-ki know. He still doesn’t speak cat.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he sighs and stands up again, “Let’s just have breakfast.”

Manifesto perks up at the mention of breakfast, tail and ears standing up eagerly before she jumps off of Jieun’s bed and runs past him into the hallway. Ni-ki pulls the night light out of the socket before he joins them all in the kitchen again.

Jieun’s is already sitting in her designated seat in front of the family portrait, a bowl of Haejang-guk in front of her. Jungwon is still in the kitchen, crouched over Manifesto’s food bowl as she circles him impatiently while he pours her food. Ni-ki watches him carefully as he sits down in the seat across from Jieun’s, leaving only the seat between them free for Jungwon.

They eat breakfast in almost total silence, safe for Jieun’s retelling of the chapters she read last night before she fell asleep and the occasional outcry from Manifesto when nobody feeds her some meat from their soups. Sometimes, Jungwon hums at whatever Jieun is saying to urge her to keep talking. He must think this is awkward, too.

—

“I can do the dishes,” Jungwon says when they’re finished with their meal and Jieun is watching her morning show. He’s still not meeting Ni-ki’s eye, but at least he’s standing in front of him instead of a few steps away. “Thank you, Ni-ki. For taking care of me last night and getting Jieun into bed. And…”

He hesitates, his lower lip caught between his teeth as he mulls over his next words.

“And for staying. You didn’t have to.”

And he shouldn’t have. He didn’t have to. He had no reason to stay. But Ni-ki also didn’t want to go. He wants to stay with Jungwon, preparing breakfast with him, waking up Jieun, helping him with the groceries. He wants to know… so much about Jungwon.

“You asked me to stay,” Ni-ki repeated slowly, “So I did. Just on case. You could’ve woken up and started puking, so… It’s better to have an adult take care of you then.”

“Yes, that’s true,” he agrees hastily and nods, “I… Thanks again.”

“It’s fine,” Ni-ki insists, “I wanted to.”

And this is all it comes down to. Jungwon wouldn’t have needed to ask. Ni-ki would have stayed regardless. All he would’ve needed was a confirmation that he was allowed to.

“Oh man,” Jungwon groans and rubs his palms over his face as he makes an agonised noise, “I’m so embarrassed. I hope I don’t have to go out drinking with them anymore for at least a year.”

At that, Ni-ki laughs. The drinking culture is weird in South Korea and he doesn’t really understand the rules of it yet, or why there is so much pressure from colleagues to attend but… after everything that he’s heard from Sunoo and Sunghoon who are regularly forced to go out to drink by their superiors, he doubts that Jungwon will get away so lucky.

“How did you manage to escape before?” he chuckles. It’s a little amusing, even with the weird tension in the room that is about to suffocate him.

“Said I didn’t find a babysitter,” he shrugs, “But they know you now. I can’t pull that excuse every week anymore.”

Jungwon talked about him to his colleagues?

“Anyway,” he clears his throat, hand coming to his neck to rub it. The friction borders on painful, but it’s a welcomed pressure so close to his head, “I should get going. Lots to do today.”

Not a lie. But also, not the truth. He does have a lot of work to catch up on for his studies, and his usual Saturday plans. But he doesn’t feel like doing any of it. He wants to crawl into bed, blast Shinee’s ‘Ringdingdong’ until Jake bursts through his door with Sunoo to scold him and play Animal Crossing until his Switch runs out of battery.

“Yes, of course,” Jungwon wrings his hands in front of him and chews on his lower lip, “Thanks again. Uhm… See you on Monday.”

“Yeah, see you.”

Ni-ki doesn’t even have headphones to pull up or stuff his ears with as he turns his back to Jungwon and jogs away. He needs to get away. He can’t stay any longer. He can’t stay.

—

Ni-ki grabs his stuff from the convenience store in a hurry and calls in sick for the day. Technically, he’s not scheduled for Sunday. But he doesn’t feel like working the evening shift today, and judging from Heeseung’s empathetic look, he sells the sickness excuse fairly well.

“Rest up, kiddo,” he says and slides him a box of strawberry milk. “You look like shit.”

He also feels like shit.

—

Private Chat: my riki

Hey

Are you awake

Yeah i am

What kind of question is this, it’s almost lunch time!

Any plans?

Nope just studying for now

I’m going to the studio later, why?

Can we call?

Ofc!

—

Ni-ki ends up in a call with Taki all day. First, they talk. A lot. The Friday call was supposed to catch Ni-ki up on everything that happened on Wednesday and Thursday, and for some reason, Taki is always busy so there’s a lot to tell Ni-ki. He supposes that’s just what happens when someone is part of a nine-member dance crew. Honestly, it’s kind of cool.

“You don’t have a crew?” Taki gasps just as Ni-ki hits him with a blue shell and takes the first place from him, “Hey! I was distracted!”

“I know that,” he laughs. He already feels lighter. He feels a little like he’s floating. Taki tends to do that for him. “That’s why I won. You’re so predictable.”

“We’ve played Mario Kart too often,” Taki sighs, and it sounds like he slams his hands onto the table in frustration with an annoyed huff, “You always win! This isn’t fair.”

“Your mods are shit,” he laughs again, “Come on now. Are you sulking?”

“No.”

He’s definitely sulking. Ni-ki can see it in his mind already, Taki with his cheeks puffed up and his arms crossed. If his room hasn’t changed, then he’s sitting cross-legged in a half-empty bean bag, sinking in to the point where sitting like that just makes him squat instead.

“Anyway,” Taki is quick to change the topic, or maybe Ni-ki just hasn’t distracted him enough from his lack of a dance crew, “Your crew.”

“The one I don’t have, you mean?” he hums and leans back in his chair. It creaks under his shifted balance. Ni-ki drops his controller into his lap and stretches his arms. Damn gamer joints. He has no idea how Heeseung can still move.

“Yes, that one,” Taki confirms, “Why? You love dancing.”

Ni-ki has loved a lot. He’s loved his family, and his dog, and all of his friends. He has loved the dance classes his parents gave, the squeak of his shoes on the wooden floor of the dance studio, the harsh lights at night. He has loved Taki and the flight to Korea and the food on the airplane and leaving it all behind with little to no regrets.

He hates the regrets that come with leaving.

“I do,” he admits quietly, “but it’s just a hobby now. We can’t all be part of a viral dance crew and attending a performing arts school.”

“Hm,” Taki hums contemplatively, “I guess that’s true. It’s a shame. I liked watching you dance. Have you tried social media? People would love you, I’m sure.”

It’s an odd feeling, talking to an old love about something he used to love. Just a month ago, Taki felt an ocean away.

And Ni-ki has to admit. He had considered it back when he first arrived in South Korea. To keep dancing, to study it instead of elementary. He knows he wanted to. He wanted it so badly that the idea of it still comes to haunt him in his dreams like tonight.

He wonders what his life would look like if he had stayed.

“Too much effort,” Ni-ki shrugs even though Taki can’t see him. But even then, he knows that Taki knows he did. “I’d need a phone with a good quality, an editing software or good speakers. The angle is difficult to find, and the lighting can’t suck either.”

“You sound like you tried it before!” Something on Taki’s side of the speakers rustles. He probably tried to sit up in his beanbag and is now sitting with his butt on the floor, only the fabric case of the bean bag in-between. Ni-ki shifts uncomfortably in his chair. Crap. He was totally caught. “You did, didn’t you?”

“I did,” he confesses and groans in embarrassment while Taki laughs and claps his hands in delight, “But it looked horrible, okay?! I won’t do it again until I can afford better equipment.”

“Want me to ship you our old equipment?” Taki immediately offers, “The camera should be good enough and the speaker only works with a cable. But Kei won’t mind.”

“No!” Ni-ki protests, “No, that’s really nice but don’t do that. I want to buy it myself.”

“With what money?” he snorts in response.

Which, ouch. But also true. Ni-ki can’t even afford a proper meal unless it’s been gifted to him by Jay and Heeseung. And he can’t keep robbing their store (consensually). What about their business?!

“Anyway,” Ni-ki spins in his swivel chair, the cord of his headset twisting around him until its full length was used, “I can’t. I’m so busy, I don’t have the time to put a lot of effort into social media.”

“That’s a lie,” Taki snorts, “I saw your Instagram story. You’re drawing again.”

“I’m drawing more,” he corrects him in an almost whiny tone. He knew he shouldn’t have posted the portrait of Sunoo. God, but the amount of effort he put into it, to capture a moment on paper, trace his being with pencil and care. “I’m gonna teach art. Of course I draw.”

Taki hums quietly. For a second, Ni-ki thinks that he hung up on him. When he switches his desktop app, the call is still ongoing. Then, Taki says, “I really thought you’d pursue dancing.”

So did Ni-ki.

—

Taki has to go just a little before the rest of Ni-ki’s roommates come home from all of their dates - or whatever it is that Sunghoon does on Saturdays.

He knows for sure that Jake and Sunoo go on dates because if Sunoo loves one thing, it’s posting pictures of aesthetic views on his social media. And of course, to him, one of those aesthetic views is Jake driving. Or Jake stretching out a bouquet of flowers towards him. Or Jake with the slice of cake they’re sharing. Or Jake slouched over his textbooks in the library in the morning.

Point is, Sunoo loves posting Jake when they go on dates. And Jake can never shut up about going on a date with Sunoo for the two days leading up to said date even though they 1) literally live together and 2) have been together for almost two years now. If Ni-ki doesn’t know about the date, they will make sure he does sooner or later. Him, and the entire rest of the world.

Sunghoon is more secretive about what he does on Saturdays if he’s not at the gym with Ni-ki or trying new bakeries with Sunoo or doing just about everything with Jake. He doesn’t post a lot, and Ni-ki is grateful for that. At least one person who doesn’t rub it into Ni-ki’s face that his Saturday started awfully.

“Hey,” Sunghoon steps into his room with a knock on his already opened door just as Ni-ki turns off his PC, “I brought back some takeout for dinner. Let’s eat?”

“Okay,” he gets up from his chair and stretches his stiff limbs. Some of his joints audibly pop loud enough to make Sunghoon shake his head with a fond chuckle as he leads him downstairs into the kitchen.

Sunghoon doesn’t ask, and he doesn’t tease him for staying over at Jungwon’s, so Ni-ki doesn’t mention anything about it to him. Knowing Sunghoon, he probably picked up on Ni-ki’s little mood and decided to leave him stewing a bit until he feels better again. Thank God. If there is one thing that Ni-ki appreciates about Sunghoon except the food he brings home, it’s his emotional intelligence.

“It’s just some ramen I picked up,” Sunghoon tells him at the bottom of the stairs. From the kitchen, they can already hear Sunoo squealing and Jake laughing loudly, “They’re in a good mood. I think the date went well.”

“And yours?” Ni-ki asks, “You went on a date, too, right?”

“I did.” Sunghoon smiles, tight-lipped. “Although, I wouldn’t count going to the gym together as a date.”

“I would,” Ni-ki shrugs, “Taki and I used to go on dance practice dates.”

“I think everything can count as a date if you say it's one.”

“That’s true.”

“So that’s what it is. Just staying over.”

Damn. Park Sunghoon and his stupidly smart mouth sometimes. Ni-ki can’t help but snort.

“That’s not…” he trails off, shaking his head. He doesn’t want to dwell on it, not until he knows who Jungwon was talking about. “I’m not worried about that. So don’t worry. I can take couples.”

Sunghoon nods in understanding, leading him into the kitchen.

Sunoo and Jake are already sitting at the table, chairs scooted impossibly close until Sunoo has no choice but to put one of his legs over one of Jake’s thighs. Their shoulders are pressed together, which can’t be convenient for either of them. Not when Jake has this weird habit of sticking out his elbows while he holds his chopsticks. But Sunoo doesn’t seem to mind at all, tucking his own arm closely to his chest.

“—and I’m telling you, I’ll catch something!” Jake insists, flailing his free hand around, “All you have to do is sit there and be pretty. You can bring a book and read, and we can share headphones.”

“I don’t like sitting in the sun for so long,” Sunoo pouts, and it seems to work perfectly on Jake. A critical hit. “Can’t we just buy seafood?”

“It tastes better fresh,” Jake moves one arm around Sunoo’s shoulders to shake him around, “Let me treat you to a nice meal, Sunny. Just once!” Sunoo just shakes his head with a lighthearted laugh, fond and full of love.

“Fine,” he relents and rolls his eyes playfully, his grin never faltering, “We can go once. And then you’ll have to go alone.”

“You hate me!” Jake complains and throws both of his arms around Sunoo’s neck. “I want to provide for you and feed you, and you hate me!”

“Jake, come on now,” Sunghoon interrupts them with a chuckle and slides into his seat, patting the one next to him so Ni-ki would also sit down, “Sunoo doesn’t like fishing. Why are you dragging him along?”

“Because fishing with you is boring,” Jake huffs, “You always zone out and you stop reacting to me. Besides, Sunoo is my boyfriend. He doesn’t have to fish. I just want him with me.”

Sunoo coos at that and giggles shyly. He rests his head on Jake’s shoulder happily.

“I’ll join you next time,” he promises sweetly, “Next week?”

“Yeah, we can make it a day trip,” he suggests and digs into his bowl of ramen, “We’d have to leave early though. Maybe five am? You can sleep in the car. Ni-ki, can you make it, too?”

“I think so,” he says and picks up his ramen noodles listlessly. Okay, so maybe he was wrong. He can’t take couples right now. “I could ask to skip the cleanup after my shift.”

“Oh, and Jungwon?”

Ni-ki almost drops his noodles. He lifts his gaze from his bowl and looks at Jake, confused.

“What about him?” he asks warily.

“Isn’t that a thing now? You staying over?” Jake assumes and blinks innocently. Ni-ki knows it’s faux innocence. A few months back, it still used to work on him, but not anymore. He now knows that Jake only makes this face to look innocent and urge him to talk about his feelings or whatever a reasonable adult is supposed to do.

Too bad for Jake that he still calls Ni-ki a baby a lot.

“It only happened once,” he rolls his eyes, “And I don’t think he wanted me to stay with him to begin with.”

—

“Thank you,” Jungwon exhales slowly and blinks his eyes open. His eyelashes flutter until he can look at Ni-ki with round eyes and a pleased smile. “Will you stay?”

“I… I don’t think I can,” he declines slowly and puts the water bottle down onto the nightstand, “I need to go back to the store and finish my shift – ”

“Please stay.”

Ni-ki hesitantly steps closer, crouches down with his knees pressed against Jungwon’s bed frame and stares at the tuft of hair sticking up from between the folds of his blanket. Jungwon’s eyes fall shut as he exhales slowly, and his breath evens out.

Ni-ki can’t help himself. He raises a hand and smooths out Jungwon’s hair, patting his head softly. Jungwon makes a small, content noise,

“Are you sure?” he asks him quietly, already taking out his phone to text Heeseung, “I don’t want to overstep – “

“Sooha, don’t go.”

—

“Who’s Sooha?” Sunoo speaks up, and all Ni-ki can do is shrug.

“I think it’s Jieun’s mom,” he tells him. The room grows somber. Everything the others know about Jungwon comes from Ni-ki. And it’s not even much. He doesn’t want to share too much about Jungwon, mostly because they never met him. And it's just not his stuff to tell. “I don’t really know though. Do you think one week is too early to ask?”

“No,” Sunghoon immediately answers, “I asked my partner to marry me after two weeks.”

“And he said yes?” Ni-ki almost wants to laugh.

“What? No, of course not,” Sunghoon snorts, “We met like ten years ago.”

“Well, Jungwon is not your partner, and Ni-ki isn’t you,” Sunoo reminds Sunghoon with a click of his tongue and finishes his bowl of ramen, “It might be insensitive. You haven’t met Jieun’s mom at all, right?”

“No,” he puts his chopsticks down, staring into the few pieces of vegetables floating in his little puddle of broth, “She’s not on the family portrait, and Jieun talks like she doesn’t know it’s more common to have a mom, too. I think Jungwon doesn’t talk about it. That’s why I don’t want to ask but…”

Jungwon had sounded sad. Desperate. His face had scrunched up in agony and he had twisted his body away from Ni-ki, ripping his head away from his hand.

Ni-ki isn’t sure why he decided to stay anyway. His name isn’t Sooha. This clearly hadn’t been about him. But the pained sounds that Jungwon made in his sleep, they worried him. He didn’t want to go, not if Jungwon was feeling bad.

“It still bothers him,” Ni-ki decides to say, “right? That’s why he dreams about it.”

Sunoo nods his head and hums, deep in thought.

“Maybe you can ask,” he shrugs, “You’ve already talked a little, right? And this is… no secret. And you’re worried. Personally, I wouldn’t find it weird if you’d asked me.”

Ni-ki supposes this could also be true. It’s just that he has never had a serious conversation like that with Jungwon before. So far, it had all been nothing more but small talk, light stuff. Some funny stories from the day, dinner plans, a few anecdotes about Jay or Jieun. Sending each other cat memes. Stuff like that. The thought of asking Jungwon about something he gets nightmares about… It’s scary.

“It’s up to you,” Jake tells him firmly, “whether you want to ask him or not. In the end, it just depends on what you think you should do.”

—

“Who’s Sooha?”

Ni-ki blinks almost furiously until the sweats from his forehead slides down his temple and drips into his pillow or soaks into his hair. He’s not sure, and he couldn’t care less about it because Jungwon is going to call him in less than five minutes now.

He had even messaged him earlier, asking if it was okay to call.

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung !

Hii

Sorry again for the trouble last night

It’s really no problem!

I just wanted to make sure you were gonna be okay

How are you feeling? Still hungover?

I’m feeling pretty good now

I think the water helped :)

Do you still want to call later?

Is that okay?

It would be nice

I kind of got used to falling asleep on call now :,)

Well in that case!

We gotta put you to sleep, baby hyung

And now what. Now what. Ni-ki didn’t have much to tell. All he did was go home and play video games like a loser. Really, at most, he could talk about Friday morning and tell him about the horrors he saw on his ride to the gym. And once he started talking about Friday, he’d just end up talking about Friday night and asking about Sooha.

Who she is, why he would call out to her. Who she is to him.

Even to his own ears, it sounds invasive when he practices the words, cringing after each time he utters the question into the dark of night.

He can’t ask him that. It’s a weird question, right? Something personal, something that might step a little too close to Jungwon. And they’ve only been talking for less than a week. It’s too soon.

“Hello?” he squeaks into the speaker once his phone rings and he picked up. Fuck. Why is he so nervous? It’s only a phone call. He’s had a bunch of phone calls with Jungwon already. At this point, everyone in this house knows that they will walk into his rooms to find him on a phone call with Jungwon at this time.

“Hey,” Jungwon greets him softly, all of the reservedness from this morning gone, “How was your day?”

“It was good,” he drops his phone next to his face and exhales slowly, “I went home and played video games with Taki. Then I had dinner with my roommates. What did you do?”

“We went to dinner with Jay-hyung and his mom,” Jungwon tells him and stops for a second, the sheets rustling on his side again, “If you don’t mind me asking, who’s Taki?”

Damn it. It was that easy all along.

“My childhood friend from Japan,” Ni-ki answers softly, “And my ex.”

“Ah,” Jungwon hums quietly, “I see. And you’re still talking? Even though you’re exes?”

“We broke up because I came to Korea,” he explains and pushes his blanket down to his stomach. He feels oddly warm tonight, and he’s not sure if it’s the nerves. “So we’re still on good terms.”

“That must be nice.”

Ni-ki makes an affirmative sound at the back of his throat that ends up sounding like a pained croak. It is nice. Especially now, when Ni-ki has been missing home more than ever. Talking to Taki again feels like he’s back in Japan. It’s been a while since he last saw him in person, back then, at the airport just before Ni-ki walked through the gate. That had been after an entire month of not talking each other since their breakup. It’s probably one of the things Ni-ki regrets the most to this day still.

“Yeah, it is,” Ni-ki sighs lightly, “He’s fun.”

“Yeah, you sound like you’re in a better mood than this morning,” Jungwon tells him sheepishly, “I’m really sorry again. For, uh, asking you to stay. You probably wanted to go home.”

Except he didn’t. Jungwon hadn’t asked him specifically to stay, and Ni-ki hadn’t wanted to go home. Neither of those statements are true.

“You didn’t ask me to stay,” Ni-ki blurts before he can stop himself and hold his tongue, “That was a lie. Sorry. I just wanted to stay.”

Jungwon replies with a quiet ‘oh’, soft and barely audible over the speakers of Ni-ki’s phone.

“I see,” he says awkwardly, clearing his throat to continue, “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he offers. He’s not really sure what to say. Is this the right moment to ask about Sooha? Fuck it. “You… You asked someone else to stay. And I figured you didn’t want to be alone. Sooha, or something like that?”

At that, Jungwon’s sheets rustle loudly, and the noises that come through the speakers sound like he sat up so quickly that the movement threw his phone to the ground.

“Shit,” he can hear him mutter and swallows drily. Okay. That was definitely the wrong question.

Jungwon seems to pick up his phone from the ground again and taps on the screen a little before he drops it back onto the pillow. He sighs.

“Sorry, that,” he pauses to think, “threw me off. It’s nothing bad, don’t worry! I was just surprised.”

“I see,” Ni-ki turns onto his side to face his phone. The screen is off, it’s dark in his room. If he tries hard enough, he can imagine laying next to Jungwon instead and watching him fall asleep like last night. “Are you – Are you alright? It sounded like a bad dream. I didn’t mean to – ”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Jungwon cuts him off, not harshly but more hastily. It sounds like he wants to change the topic. Even then, he continues, “Sooha is – was – Jieun’s mother. I’m sure you noticed but she’s not around. She left right after her birth. I didn’t expect to hear her name after all these years again. You didn’t – Talking about her doesn’t make me uncomfortable or anything. It’s okay.”

Jungwon’s voice grows quieter, more solemn, with every word. This is not how Ni-ki wanted this conversation to go. The best case scenario would have been to not have this conversation at all. Opening up old wounds. Ni-ki knows from personal experience how much that sucks.

“Okay,” Ni-ki gives in and shuffles under his covers until it’s pulled up to his shoulders again. He hooks his chin over the edge. “Let’s still talk about something else. No more exes talk. I’m getting depressed here.”

Jungwon laughs lightly, and he already sounds less awkward when he asks Ni-ki, “Do you miss him a lot? I sometimes still miss her.”

Her. Sooha. They're still talking about exes. Ni-ki is fine with it because he doesn't really miss Taki. But Sooha...

Ni-ki is surrounded by so many men dating other men that he sometimes forgets straight people are real.

“I think,” Ni-ki contemplates and pulls his covers down again. It’s too hot, too uncomfortable. He should really get his electric fan fixed soon if he wants to survive the rest of the summer in his bedroom. “I think I just miss being back in Japan and not him as a person. But he’s like the personification of what it was like in Japan, you know? That kind of thing.”

“I get that,” Jungwon murmurs softly. A humourless laugh escapes him. “I think it’s why I miss Sooha. Because I keep thinking about what life would be like if she had stayed like you did.”

‘Like you did.’

‘Like you did.’

‘Like you did.’

“Y-Yeah!” Ni-ki stammers and cringes at himself when his voice cracks. Dammit. So much to being cool and nonchalant. “Well, I mean, because there is this image, right? You have a daughter and according to societal norms, you’d be raising her with her mother. This whole nuclear family thing.”

“Exactly,” Jungwon groans in exasperation, “Although, even just fathers being actual dads isn’t the norm. This is going to sound shitty of me but I’m so grateful that I don’t have to pick up Jieun from pre-school anymore. It was hell!”

“The moms don’t stop staring,” Ni-ki agrees, “It’s so uncomfortable. Like they’ve never seen a man pick up a kid before – oops?”

“That sounds really bad,” Jungwon laughs, a lighthearted, happy sound, “I think it’s also because I’m young. So I’m either the dad or the older brother with a huge age gap to her.”

“You were… sixteen, right?” Ni-ki asks, “When she was born.”

“Turned sixteen just a few months before,” he confirms, “I mean, large age gaps between siblings aren’t that unheard of, right? I’m pretty sure one of Jay-hyung’s uncles is fourteen years younger than him.”

“What, does he babysit his own uncle, too?” he jokes and earns himself another round of laughter from Jungwon. He smiles, even though he can’t see Jungwon’s face scrunch up while he laughs. Just hearing him in a good mood is already much better.

“How would you even explain that?” Jungwon laughs, “Hii, yeah, this is me, my husband, and my baby uncle.”

“Jay-hyung sometimes looks like an uncle,” Ni-ki adds, “When he wears that—”

“—dark blue polo shirt?” Jungwon guesses and laughs again, “And then he tucks it into his white pants, too! He looks like an uncle who goes to golf clubs on the weekends.”

“Jay-hyung definitely golfs,” he continues with a chuckle, “You think his husband just sits in the cart and waits for him?”

“See, if I was Jay-hyung’s husband,” Jungwon starts, and Ni-ki is already laughing, “Don’t laugh! Just imagine! He’s a rich and ambitious man and great with kids. Jieun loves him. I’d be hitting a jackpot here!”

“What’s next?” Ni-ki’s laugh dies down into a few sporadic giggles, “Are you gonna share your homewrecker plan with me?”

“Nooo,” Jungwon whines, “He’s literally my brother figure. I’m just saying. If I was Jay-hyung’s husband, which is never happening because I’m not interested in him and also because he’s always running around saying ‘husband this, husband that’, I wouldn’t join him on the golf course. You know how these golf resorts usually have pools? I’d be sitting somewhere around there, sipping a cocktail and ogling the pool boy or whatever it is that gay husbands do.”

“How do we know the husband is gay?” Ni-ki gasps in faux offense, “What if he’s bi or pan? Not sexually active or attracted to people?”

“Ni-ki, you sweet, sweet child,” Jungwon sighs with the exhaustion of an old grandma, “I’m so glad you aren’t aware of how much sex they have.”

“Okay, I actually don’t want to talk about this,” Ni-ki decides firmly and shakes his head, “I don’t wanna talk about it, or think about it. I do not need to know about Jay-hyung’s sex life, ew.”

“You think I wanted to know that?” Jungwon protests, “All I wanted to do was call him and ask if he could watch Jieun!”

“Oh my God, you called him?” Ni-ki gasps, “And he picked up?”

“I’m so traumatised,” Jungwon whines, high-pitched and pained, “I can never call him again. I refuse to. What if he’s being sexed again?”

“Wow, you would hate my roommates Sunoo-hyung and Jake-hyung,” he laughs, “Just this morning, when they wanted to drop me and Sunghoon-hyung off at the gym, they just started – ”

[+]

It’s past midnight when Ni-ki’s yawning grows more frequent and louder as his voice quiets down into tired mumbles. Jungwon taps on his phone screen to look at how long they’ve been calling. It’s been a little over three hours now. Jungwon doesn’t remember the last time he talked to someone for this long.

That’s a lie. He does remember, even if he doesn’t want to.

There were multiple times he stayed awake the whole night to talk to Sooha, even though they were going to see each other again the next day. He doesn’t even remember what he talked about for him to stay awake for that long. All he remembers is going to bed at night, tired from classes and studying all day, and that they stayed in a call until the first rays of sunshine could peek into his room. They didn’t live that far apart. Even then, he remembers feeling some sort of satisfaction from knowing that Sooha was looking at the same sunrise as he was.

‘If she still does?’

There’s no point in wondering about that.

“Are you tired?” Jungwon turns onto his side to look at his phone instead, pretending that Ni-ki was next to him. Just like last night, when he had reached out and run a hand through his bangs. “We should go to sleep.”

“’m not tired,” he mumbles stubbornly, “I don’t need that much sleep. I am a grown adult and naps are for babies and grandmas.”

“That’s a stereotype and you know it,” Jungwon chuckles fondly. He can imagine that Ni-ki’s pouting, and his scrunched up, discontent face. “Jieun doesn’t sleep and she’s just a baby, too.”

“Jieun is a special baby,” Ni-ki tries to reason, but he’s so tired that most of his thoughst come out as a jumbled mess of words, “She knows about the burgers. And defenestrations.”

Jungwon warms at that and bites back a grin. Is he really going to laugh every time someone starts talking about burgers because they remind him of the Communist Manifesto now? Probably. Very likely. He’s so glad that Jieun stopped talking about it after Ni-ki brought her the entire Harry Potter series on Tuesday.

“Sleep,” he tells him firmly, even though he would love to stay up longer and talk some more. He wants to ask Ni-ki about Taki and Japan. Sooha always wanted to go to Japan. He wants to ask how Ni-ki grew up. He wants to know if Ni-ki also made some bad choices in his life. If he has any regrets. If he finds comfort in their calls as much as Jungwon does. “You have work tomorrow, right?”

“I do,” he confirms and groans. From his end of the speakers, his sheets rustle quietly. “Don’t remind me. I don’t think I can face Jay-hyung after what you told me.”

“All I said was that he accepted my call during sex.”

“It was very in detail! It’s like it’s my own memory now.”

“It was not detailed!”

Private Chat: Jay hyung

Hyung

I’m really sorry

I think I traumatised your only employee

What did you do??

Phone sex

EXCUSE ME

WHAT

YANG JUNGWON

Chapter Text

Somehow, Ni-ki survives the awkward talk about exes with Jungwon, and getting his head chewed off by Jay for a simple misunderstanding. How is it his fault that Jungwon basically told Jay that they had… phone sex. He still shudders at the thought of it. But at least he got a funny reaction out of Jay when he explained, one that he can tease him with.

Now, two weeks later, Ni-ki barely notices any differences in the way that he and Jungwon interact. Ni-ki picks up Jieun from pre-school after class, Jungwon comes home late, Ni-ki goes home or to work, they call in the evening and talk about mundane things.

Ni-ki’s classes have started to pick up in pace and his workload has increased. Instead of cozying up in his bed and letting Jungwon’s voice blanket and lull him to sleep, he has to sit at his desk and attempt to do his readings or assignments. It works just fine for him, he can multi-task, but it doesn’t mean Jungwon’s happy that most of Ni-ki’s answers come with delay now.

“I’m serious,” he insists, “If it distracts you too much, we don’t have to call anymore.”

“But Jungwon-hyung,” he protests after taking the end of his pencil out from between his teeth. Yeah, he’s a chewer, don’t judge him. “Who will I talk to about all of my classmates? My friends who don’t bother to remember?”

“Ni-ki, you already have so much work to do and so little time,” Jungwon nags him, but his tone is amused. Fond. “At what time have you gone to bed recently?”

Ni-ki sulks for a few seconds. He’s been caught red-handed.

“Four am,” he mulls and grimaces, even though Jungwon can’t see him, “But it’s fine. I nap while Jieun watches her show and between classes. I do lots of readings at the convenience store. This is just extra studying so I can keep my grades up.”

“Are you on a scholarship?” Jungwon asks him. Oh, how Ni-ki wishes he was. Scholarships also give some money for living accommodations, meaning that Ni-ki wouldn’t have to work two jobs just to be able to afford his rent. Damn his old housemate whose name he forgot because he never even saw him. And damn his landlady.

“No,” Ni-ki sighs, “If I was, would I be a babysitter and work for Heeseung-hyung?”

“Ah, right,” Jungwon hums and yawns loudly. Then, he sneezes. “Ugh, Manifesto was sleeping on my pillow again. I don’t know how she gets into my room. Jieun can’t even open the doors!”

“She’s Houdini,” Ni-ki jokes, “Kittini.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” he sniffles quietly, “But Jieun likes her a lot. I can’t give her up anymore.”

“Not unless you want to make her sad,” he agrees and jots down some notes. Early childhood education is as interesting as it is frustrating. “Speaking of Jieun, I don’t think I can watch her this Friday. Jake-hyung wants to go on a fishing trip right after classes end, so everyone has to go on a fishing trip.”

“You have two employers relying on you, Ni-ki!” Jungwon scolds him dramatically and gasps. It’s exaggerated of course, but it still sounds so, so cute coming from Jungwon. “I’m just kidding. I’ll see if Jay-hyung or his mom can watch her.”

“Are you gonna give Jay-hyung a hazmat suit?” Ni-ki laughs. Just the idea of Jay in one of those bulky, ugly, yellow suits is hilarious. And it gets even funnier when he imagines what it would look like if he took off only the helmet and carried it under his arm… He feels like Sunghoon would like him. Sunghoon likes funny people, and Jay’s plenty funny. “Or will you pay for his EpiPens?”

“Not a chance,” Jungwon bristles. His sheets rustle again, and his voice comes out quieter next. “But you’re right. Who’s working on Friday? Jay-hyung or Heeseung-hyung?”

“I think Jay-hyung works the whole weekend,” Ni-ki answers and closes his textbook. No more studying. His brain’s officially fried, and he wants to go to bed. If he has to stare at any more words today, he’ll pluck out his own eyeballs and it would probably still be less painful than the white light of his desk lamp stinging his eyes, only worsened by its reflection on the glossy white pages of his textbook. “He said his husband was away, so he wants to work a lot.”

“Hm,” Jungwon grumbles, “Heeseung-hyung said he feels awkward with Jieun. Maybe I can get off  earlier.”

“That sounds great,” Ni-ki agrees and yawns, leaning back in his chair to stretch out his limbs. His shoulder pops, and so does his neck. He should stop hunching over his desk. “She's gonna be so happy.”

“Yeah. Are you getting ready for bed?” Jungwon asks him, timid. “It’s late. You should sleep so you don’t nap in your classes.”

“Is that what you did, hyung?” Ni-ki wants to joke, but it doesn’t land.

“I dropped out after middle school,” he mentions, but it’s said in such a casual, nonchalant tone that Ni-ki almost misses the sharp intake of breath. “I didn’t have time for classes after Jieun was born.”

“Right,” Ni-ki mutters under his breath and leans away from his phone. Shit. He made it awkward again. “But you still got a job just fine.”

“I was the coffee boy at first,” Jungwon laughs quietly, “Did nothing but bring coffee and make copies of unimportant papers. I think I just got lucky when they added me to an editorial team as a placeholder.”

“You worked hard for it,” Ni-ki argues, “Which twenty-two year old can say he’s already an editor?”

“You flatter me,” Jungwon chuckles sheepishly, “Anyway. Sleep. You need lots of it.”

“I’m not the adult with a full-time job,” Ni-ki tries to reason.

“No, you are a full-time student with two min jobs,” he laughs, “Get lots of rest. I’ll see you tomorrow, Ni-ki.”

“See you tomorrow,” Ni-ki echoes weakly, defeated. There’s no winning against Yang Jungwon, he supposes. “Good night, hyung. Sleep well.”

“Good night.”

—

Breakfast is… something. Ever since Sunoo agreed to join the fishing trip, Jake hasn’t shut up about it at all, which is as cute as it is annoying. Well, Ni-ki thinks it’s cute. Jake’s excitement is contagious, and if he had a tail, it would be wagging.

It’s Sunghoon who thinks it’s annoying, all while he’s still looking forward to the trip, too.

“I’m not staying the whole trip,” he repeats for the up-tenth time that morning, “Why did you book an Airbnb for the whole weekend? The drive’s only two hours.”

“Stop whining,” Jake huffs, “You’ll survive a weekend without your girlfriend.”

“I will literally die,” Sunghoon deadpans. “Besides, you’re only this excited because your girlfriend’s joining us!”

“Sunoo is not my girlfriend, don’t say that!” Jake puts a hand over his chest, offended, “I’ll have you know he's just a pretty man. The prettiest. Don’t look at him!”

He makes a very dramatic show out of showing off Sunoo, pulling him by his shoulder into his side and aggressively pointing at his face.

“That’s the prettiest face you will ever get to see in your life, I’ll have you know,” Jake insists. Sunghoon disagrees visibly, pulling a face that offends Sunoo and makes him gasp in shock. Ni-ki disagrees, too, but only in his head. Sunoo’s pretty. That’s no secret. Personally, he prefers them cute. Cute, like Taki with his full cheeks, or Jungwon with his big, sparkly eyes and small mouth and –

‘Woah there. Your crush is showing.’

‘… No? This is a fact.’

‘No. Probably not.’

‘We can ask everyone else. They will agree that Jungwon-hyung’s cute.’

‘Okay. Let’s ask then.’

Damn Ni-ki and his impulsive thoughts.

The moment he asks his hyungs if they think Jungwon’s cute or not, the kitchen falls into an awkward, almost deadly silence. Yeah. If it’s not the lack of sleep killing Ni-ki, it will be the memory of this very exact moment. Well. They’re not disagreeing. He counts this as a win for his ‘Cutie Jungwon-hyung’ agenda.

“Sure,” Sunghoon agrees and shrugs before he ruins Ni-ki’s perfect win with the words, “But my partner’s cuter. The cutest.”

“That’s not a valid answer,” Ni-ki complains, “You’re biased! Objectively speaking—”

“Objectively speaking,” Sunoo snorts, “Are you conducting a study?”

“It’s just a universal thing, okay?” Ni-ki tries to defend his stance, even though he already knows that it’s pretty much useless. He’s aware that ‘cuteness’ is never objective, nor universal. He just wants to hear the others agree with him so he can feel justified in his opinion. “Like Sunoo-hyung being pretty.”

“The prettiest,” Jake agrees and nods diligently, “Nobody has ever been prettier—”

“I’d show off my man but he hates his picture being taken,” Sunghoon interrupts, and earns himself a kick to the shin from Sunoo.

“Please don’t interrupt Jake-hyung with your delusions, Sunghoon-hyung.” He snuggles closer to Jake and flutters his eyelashes prettily with a coy smile. “Continue please?”

Okay. This won’t work. Between Sunoo and Jake being a disgusting couple in their honeymoon phase, and Sunghoon happily married and in love with his husband, Ni-ki’s crush on Jungwon feels silly, more akin to a childish infatuation rather than anything else. And clearly, none of his hyungs are willing to indulge him. But it’s too early to say that he's truly in love or, heaven forbid, loves Jungwon.

Ni-ki leans back in his chair with a sigh and kicks his legs up. Once Jake starts talking about Sunoo, there’s no stopping him. He might as well get some shut eye before he has to go to class. Maybe that will help him chill out.

—

Jieun’s truly an angel. The most angelic and precious little thing that has ever existed. Nobody understands Ni-ki better than she does with her sharp mind and reasonable opinions.

“I think appa is very cute, too!” she agrees on their way home as she holds his index finger. “He’s like Manifesto. And me. I’m cute, too, aren’t I, Papa?”

“You are, you are,” Ni-ki agrees with her giddily. Who knew talking to her would make him all soft and putty. Children are truly a blessing. He swings their arms happily and coos when he realises that the small movement for him draws a full semicircle for her. She’s so small. And cute. She even looks just like Jungwon’ “What did you do at pre-school today?”

“They gave us scissors and let us cut shapes!” she tells him excitedly, “My circle didn’t look like a circle but that’s okay. It was round. A lot.”

Ni-ki can’t help but laugh fondly.

“It had the shape of Jay-oppa’s head!” she continues, and, really, it shouldn’t be as funny to Ni-ki as it is, but he can’t help but laugh. ‘Round’ isn’t exactly the word he would use to describe Jay’s head. Then again, whenever Ni-ki stares at the back of his head… “So I painted his face.”

“Should we go and compare?” he asks her, giggling in excitement. If Ni-ki did it without Jieun, Jay would sulk and scold him. But he can’t get mad at Jieun, and Ni-ki really wants to see his reaction. “Maybe he’ll give you some candy for drawing him.”

“Yes!” she exclaims happily and pulls ahead, fist still wrapped around his finger.

They waltz into the convenience store like they own it–something that not even Heeseung does as the literal owner–and run into Jeongin at the counter. Neither Jay nor Heeseung are anywhere in sight, which is weird. Jeongin isn’t an employee, and Heeseung usually doesn’t allow him to help out even when it’s busy to ‘keep it professional and separate work from his private life’. Whatever that means. Ni-ki wouldn’t know. He had a sleepover with his boss by choice.

Regardless of that, Jeongin isn’t a rare sight in the store. He lives with Heeseung in the apartment just above it after all. Usually, he only comes downstairs to get some snacks or bother Heeseung when he feels bored. Today, he’s wearing the spare vest they own in case they hire another employee. He even has a name tag pinned to his chest and his longer hair tied up in a half bun.

“Am I being replaced?” Ni-ki greets him, which Jeongin thankfully takes lightly. From what Ni-ki has heard from Heeseung, Jeongin’s the youngest in his friend group so he can very much relate to being a menace.

“It’s just for today,” he shrugs and rests his chin in his palm. “Jay and Heeseung are in the back, if you’re looking for them. Some emergency meeting or something.”

“The whole day?” he wonders and receives another shrug as response.

“It seemed urgent,” Jeongin adds and glances down to Jieun, “You want some snacks, Jieun?” She cheers happily and lets go of Ni-ki’s finger to run up to Jeongin, which gives Ni-ki the perfect chance to slip through the door to the back.

Heeseung and Jay are sticking their heads together and whispering harshly. At least they were until they heard Ni-ki enter.

Heeseung’s head shoots up with wide eyes, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Jay comically clams his mouth shut at once—and yelps when he bites his cheek in the process.

“Oh, hey, kiddo,” Heeseung greets him as casually as he can, which isn’t very casual. He’s a terrible actor. “What’s up?”

“We just wanted to drop by,” Ni-ki tells him and tries to read the room. Whatever urgency there was before has been replaced by an awkward stillness. “Figured you wanted to say hi to Jieun. And I wanted to check if the weekend’s still okay.”

“Yeah,” Jay nods hastily, “Yeah, weekend’s fine. We wanna say hi.”

He jumps to his feet, clumsier than usual, and knocks over the little, red plastic stool he was sitting on (read: squatting on, because his legs are too long to not be angled awkwardly). Then, when he turns around to pick up the stool, he hits his head on the edge of the table, knocks off a bunch of papers and Heeseung’s phone, yelps again, clutches his head, hits his elbow against the wall and crumbles to the ground with a defeated groan.

While all Ni-ki can do is stare at his usually competent boss, Jay’s clumsiness seems to have snapped Heeseung out of his shock and he bursts into a fit of laughter.

“Jongseong,” he manages through gasps and clutches his stomach, “Are you—are you okay?”

“No,” Jay whines and curls up, “Just leave me here.”

And so, they do.

—

Thursday evening comes sooner than Ni-ki can process in his sleep-deprived brain. He’s been so busy with his studies and trying to sleep on the bus and all of his studies that time passed in a blur. At this point, it doesn’t feel like it’s supposed to be a Thursday. Ni-ki still has so many things to do that it feels like a Monday. He needs more days in a week to do everything he needs to. Like, change the lightbulb on his staircase. He still didn’t get to do that.

In fact, he’s so out of it that he barely avoids stepping on Manifesto’s tail as he tries to bring his plate from the dining table. He only manages to catch himself because she cries out as she scrambles away. Ni-ki jumps back in shock and almost drops his plate. He gets lucky and all that falls are his chopsticks. Perplexed, he blinks at Manifesto a few steps away from him now, only now registering that he almost stepped on her.

“Papa,” Jieun calls out to him from where she sits on the couch, a book in her lap and her tired voice laced with concern, “Are you okay? Manifesto attacked your feet.”

‘Wrong, I almost attacked her with my foot.’

‘Don’t tell her that.’

“I’m okay,” he sighs and looks down at his feet again to see if there are any other small animals he needs to avoid stepping on. Thankfully, there are none. Manifesto has climbed her cat tree and is now hiding in one of the boxes of it. He's not sure how happy Jungwon would be if he brought him another stray kitten. “Are you tired yet?”

“No,” she denies, followed by a long yawn. Ni-ki laughs quietly as he turns to the kitchen and turns on the sink to do the dishes. “Appa isn't home. I want to wait.”

“You always wait for him,” Ni-ki hums contemplatively, “I’m sure he won't mind if you go to sleep earlier.”

“But I don't want to,” she huffs and kicks her legs up, “Appa reads me books and says good night. I sleep bad when he doesn't.”

Sometimes, Ni-ki forgets just how young Jieun is. Barely turned six. And Jungwon tries to spend as much time with her as possible with his full-time job. Of course it will be difficult for the both of them. Not to mention that Jieun's only parental figure is Jungwon. If he doesn't read her and tuck her in, nobody else will.

“If I read you a book and say good night, do you think you’ll be able to sleep well?” he offers her, rinsing the foam off the bowls. “I know I’m not your appa but—”

“Can you?”

Ni-ki whips his head around to see Jieun staring at the TV. If it wasn't for the sheepish tone in her voice and her hands fidgeting with the pages of the book in her lap, he would've never noticed that she was nervous about asking him.

Again, Ni-ki realises just how small Jieun really is. She's just a baby.

“Of course I can,” he can’t help the fond smile tugging the corners his lips upwards, “Let’s give it a try, yeah?”

“Okay.”

Jieun hops off the couch, puts away her book and walks up to Ni-ki  with small, hesitant steps as he dries off his hands, the bottom of her shirt now held tightly in her tiny fists. She looks up to him with round eyes. Ni-ki doesn't know a better way to put it; she looks hopeful.

“Let’s get you ready for bed, little one, hm?” he suggests and usher her into the bathroom. Jieun’s more or less enthusiastic about brushing her teeth—about as enthusiastic as a toddler can be about it—but brightens up when Manifesto sneaks through the gap in the door into the bathroom and circles her legs with demanding meows.

“She wants to go to bed, too,” she tells Ni-ki quietly once she’s done brushing her teeth and picks Manifesto up to carry her in her arms like a baby, “Appa reads to her, too.”

‘He reads to cats. I need to marry him.’

‘Please chill out.’

‘No.’

‘Pussy.’

“That’s very nice of him,” he settles on saying and follows Jieun into her bedroom. Changing her into sleepwear is a very easy ordeal. Jieun picks out her own pyjamas and puts them on by herself. It’s only when she settles into bed and scoots as close to the wall as she possibly can with Manifesto in her arms that Ni-ki’s expected to do something. The blanket pools around her ankles. Jieun makes no indications of pulling it up.

“Which book do you want me to read to you?” Ni-ki asks and walks up to her impressive collection of literature. He’s pretty sure that he can spot the Communist Manifesto somewhere in the stack. Just the thought of it makes him shudder. Ni-ki can’t read her the Communist Manifesto—he probably can’t even pronounce half of the words right. “Did you finish Harry Potter?”

“We’re reading book four,” she answers and lets Manifesto curl up on her chest, “Appa put a bookmark.”

Ni-ki picks the book from the little collection (he just hoped that no other book had a bookmark and was right) and comes to an awkward stand in front of Jieun's bed. There’s no chair in her bedroom. Should he just sit on the floor? But Jieun’s looking at him like she expects him to do something specific.

“I don't have pyjamas,” he tells her quietly and slowly lowers himself onto the carpet. He almost gives in when he sees Jieun's hopeful look simmer down into a pout.

“Cuddle?” she pleads with a small voice and reaches over her small mattress to tug at his sleeve, “I can clean up tomorrow.”

Really, how is Ni-ki supposed to say no to that?

“Okay, let's cuddle,” he relents and grabs the blanket from the bottom of the bed to pull it over their chests as he slips in next to Jieun. She looks pleased while she snuggles up to Ni-ki, squishing her cheek against his shoulder with a wide grin.

Ni-ki, meanwhile, is everything but comfortable. Jieun's bed is too short and his feet awkwardly dangle off the end. The book’s edge digs into his rib cage when he tries to prop it up so Jieun can look at the pages even if there are no pictures on them. Manifesto curls up around the top of his head, stepping on the long strands of his hair in the process and tugging at them.

‘This is great.’

He pulls his legs up, rests the book against his thighs and gets to reading.

—

“Ah, cute.”

Ni-ki startles awake at the feeling of gentle fingers brushing against his forehead. He tries to blink the sleep out of his eyes and comes face to face with Jungwon fondly smiling down at him.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?” he whispers and slowly pulls away his hand. It’s not cold at night yet—right now, with Jieun squished against his side, it might even be too hot—but Ni-ki still mourns the warmth. “You can sleep over again if you need to.”

Ni-ki doesn’t want to wake Jieun, so he carefully adjusts her position in bed as he sits up and shakes his head. She slightly stirs in her sleep but aside from a small, disgruntled noise she makes, she doesn’t wake. Not even Manifesto, who gets jostled around when Ni-ki lowers Jieun’s head onto her pillow, wakes up.

When he motions to Jungwon to step out, the other nods and helps him up. The wooden bed frame creaks in relief at the lifted weight, and the door hinges creak even louder when Jungwon leans the door shut. They’re grating noises in the silence of the night, but once they’re gone, all Ni-ki can hear is Jungwon’s soft breathing and the sound of his own heart hammering against his chest.

‘He called me cute,’ the thought finally registers in his sleep-addled brain, ‘Jungwon-hyung finds me cute.’

That won’t do. Ni-ki’s a grown adult, almost an entire head taller than him. Jungwon has no grounds to be calling him cute. Ni-ki isn’t the one with a radiating smile and round cheeks and deep dimples and—

‘Let’s stop right there.’

‘—and a cute mouth and sparkling eyes and fluffy hair and—’

‘No. No more than that.’

‘—small hands and—’

Ni-ki pinches himself before he can say something stupid or do something even more stupid.

“Sorry,” he rasps once he followed Jungwon to the kitchenette. A bag of takeout food is half-unwrapped on the counter, the plastic around the handles torn. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“It’s fine,” Jungwon waves him off and continues to tear through the plastic to get his food out, “You don’t sleep enough. And I’m glad Jieun didn’t stay up for that long again, too. Do you want to share these? The lady gave me too many.”

He points at the dumplings in the little plastic container. A whole lot of them. The bottoms of them are slightly burnt to a crisp, and they’re still steaming hot. It smells heavenly.

Ni-ki checks his phone. It’s only a little past 10 pm, so still too early for his midnight snack. And then, Jungwon’s going on his tiptoes to reach the plates in the upper cabinet, taking out two and showing them off to him with a proud grin, and Ni-ki has no other choice but to accept the offer. He’s just a little weak in the knees and needs some food in his stomach to regain his strength. Surely, that will help.

“My next bus is in thirty minutes,” he tells Jungwon sheepishly and runs a hand through his hair. It's messed up from sleep but it's Jungwon so he wants to look at least a little presentable.

“That’s enough time!” Jungwon chirps cheerfully and distributes the dumplings evenly into four servings. One for Ni-ki, one for himself, and two for the fridge. The dumpling lady must really like Jungwon if she gives him that many. Makes sense. Ni-ki also really likes Jungwon. He’d give him all the dumplings he’d want for free, business be damned. “Here, sit down and eat.”

They sit down at the table, Jungwon with his back to the kitchen and Ni-ki right next to him, facing the sailor suits family portrait again. Despite his deep eye bags, Jungwon seems full of energy.

“This is really nice,” he says to Ni-ki as the dig in, “I’ve never had dinner with someone after work before.”

Really, Ni-ki doesn't understand how Jungwon can say this nonchalantly and while grinning from ear to ear. The best part of his day is bothering Jake while he makes them a very late dinner, or poking fun at Sunoo’s heart-eyes while he watches them, or stealing pieces of steak from Sunghoon.

Behind Ni-ki's back, the light of the living room is turned off. The lamp above their heads is dim, and it doesn't reach all the way across the room.

It’s lonely.

“Let's have dinner together more often then,” he suggests, not exactly sure what overcame him this suddenly. It’s still the sleep. That must be it. “I’ve been told I cook great ramen.”

Honestly, it's embarrassing how slyly Ni-ki’s trying to weasel his way into Jungwon's life. He's crossing all sorts of lines as his babysitter here. The sleeping over, the late night calls, updates and memes between classes. Now this.

But then, Jungwon’s beaming at him, teeth bared and dimples deep, and it's all worth it.

—

Group Chat: NO MOVING OUT XXX

Dad hyung:

niki

where are you

Ni-ki:

i’m still at Jungwon-hyung’s

we’re eating dumplings together

Dad hyung:

do you know where Sunghoon is?

Ni-ki:

dead in a ditch for all I know

Kim Oosun:

NOT FUNNY

Dad hyung:

SEE

I TOLD YOU

HE’S DEAD

Kim Oosun:

HE’S NOT DEAD

he’s just missing

there’s a difference

we only have to report after 24 hrs

Ni-ki:

is he not home?

Dad hyung:

no.

i wanted to ask him if he finished packing

no sunghoon in his bedroom

no sunghoon in the kitchen

no sunghoon in the bathroom

Ni-ki:

why were you looking for him in the bathroom

Kim Oosun:

thats what I wanted to know too

Dad hyung:

no sunghoon in the house

he’s not picking up my calls

he’s dead.

Kim Oosun:

he’s not

@Ni-ki when are you coming home?

jake hyung wants you to pack your bags

Ni-ki:

and you said your contact name makes no sense

Dad hyung:

IT DOESN’T

whose father am i?

certainly not yours

Kim Oosun:

I know!

mine

daddy ;)

Ni-ki:

THIS IS STILL A GROUP CHAT

—

(“You're wrong, Jungwon-hyung.”

“Hm?”

“You're the cute one.”)

—

After his Friday classes, Ni-ki almost instinctively left campus to pick up Jieun. It’s a good thing that Sunoo already knows how easily he falls into a routine and came to pick him up, waiting for him surrounded by all the other elementary education students who have either never seen him or rarely seen him before. Too bad. Jake left a mark on his neck that Sunoo parades around almost too proudly.

“Ni-ki, over here!”

Sunoo waves excitedly at him, bouncing on his feet. He's stretching upwards, which is hardly of any need. Most of Ni-ki's classmates filtering out of the room are women, so they're all shorter than Sunoo. Even if Sunoo’s pretty short, too. But that might just be Ni-ki's point of view.

“Oh, Sunoo-hyung.” Ni-ki drags his feet over to Sunoo and rubs the sleep out of his eyes.

The night before, after he was finally able to collapse into his own bed and let his sleep deprivation kill pretty much all of his evening plans, his brain finally decided to catch up on what he had said.

“You're the cute one.”

But only because Ni-ki apparently is crazy. A madman. Insane.

So he spent the entire night pretending he didn't hear his phone ringing, the display flashing with Jungwon's caller ID, and stared at his phone in utter horror. How will he ever face him again? That was so, so embarrassing, Ni-ki felt like dying.

Still does, but that’s mostly because he couldn't fall asleep and catch up on some rest like he intended to.

“You forgot the trip, didn't you?” Sunoo chastises him and clicks his tongue in disapproval, “And you still haven't fixed your hair!”

Ni-ki pats down the strands sticking up wildly, to no avail. This is just what he looks like now. It's not like anybody really cares. Definitely not Ni-ki, that’s for sure. He won't even see Jungwon today!

‘Please just stop.’

‘I miss him already.’

‘This isn't even a regular time to see him though?’

“Have you found Sunghoon-hyung yet?” he asks Sunoo instead of wallowing in more… whatever it is that he's feeling. Humiliation. A crush.

“Yeah, Jake-hyung managed to catch him after his class,” Sunoo hums and tugs Ni-ki by the sleeve outside, “You're the last.”

Sunoo leads him out of the building and onto the parking lot where Jake’s car is already waiting for them. He insisted on putting all of their bags into his trunk that morning. Only Sunghoon was missing. Good thing they found him again—Ni-ki doesn’t know how to report a missing person.

“I’d appreciate a text before you sneak out to meet your secret girlfriend is all I’m saying!” he hears Jake bicker with Sunghoon. Even then, his tone is less accusing and more whiny than anything, so it's nothing serious. Even Sunghoon’s holding back an amused smile. “Look, I was worried about you, man. You could've been God knows where and none of us would've known.”

“I just forgot,” Sunghoon huffs and lets Ni-ki throw his bag into the backseat in the middle, “I packed my bag and brought it and everything, so it's all fine. Also, my partners is not a girl, for the last time! I’m into men! Hot, sexy men with buff arms and sharp jawlines—”

“Now it just sounds fake,” Sunoo giggles. Sunghoon makes an offended noise at the back of his throat and reaches around the passenger seat to poke Sunoo’s sides. “Hey!”

“Don't call him fake!” he complains and flops onto his seat with his head thrown back, “It's bad enough I can't see him this weekend!”

Ni-ki wordlessly puts on his seatbelt and gets comfortable in the leather seats of Jake’s stupidly expensive car as the motor starts up. He's too tired to add to the banter, and still too embarrassed from telling Jungwon out loud (God, what had he been thinking) that he found him cute. Cute. Not even admirable or amazing. Cute.

He can’t help the pained groan that escapes his throat as he crumbles into a tiny ball on the backseat.

“I know, I know,” Sunghoon pats his back, “It’s horrible. I will miss him a lot. I’m glad you feel with me.”

“I called him cute.”

“My partner?”

“No!” Ni-ki snaps his head up and shoves Sunghoon’s arm away, “My Jungwon-hyung!”

Silence fills the car. It stops moving down the parking lot. Even the motor dies.

Ni-ki just killed everyone and everything.

—

They arrive at the Airbnb in one piece. Somehow. Ni-ki’s pretty sure he died about a thousand times. Twice as he retold the events of the prior evening, from Jungwon waking him up and calling him cute and the fingers brushing his forehead and the dumplings they shared and calling him cute of all things to the awkward sprint that Ni-ki had to take downstairs so he wouldn’t have to see Jungwon’s reaction.

And then, he died another 998 times when Sunoo took over driving to give Jake a break and manoeuvred the car like he was in the car chasing scene of a spy movie.

“Please never drive again,” Sunghoon pleads as he stumbles out of the car, heaving and a little green in the face, and rests his hands on his knees, “Just ask me next time.”

“But I get carsick in the backseat,” Sunoo pouts, and that’s the end of the discussion. Sunoo starts pouting and there’s no winning against him. Either Sunoo keeps pouting and fluttering his long lashes, or Jake starts backing him up with his yapping. And that, that, is an even deadlier combination than Sunoo and a steering wheel.

Sunghoon gives up the fight and collapses onto the ground with a relieved sigh. Ni-ki isn’t sure, and he doesn’t want to check, but he’s pretty sure Sunghoon almost starts kissing the ground. Which is a reasonable reaction after surviving Sunoo’s driving.

“Woah, it’s huge!”

The Airbnb they arrived at is a modern, box-looking house with tall windows and flat roofs. When Jake swings the door open, he reveals a one-room area equipped with a full kitchenette, a dining area, one queen-sized bed, one pull-out couch and a folding bed shoved into the middle of the room.

The bathroom is huge and clean, which is the most important detail for Ni-ki. He feels like taking an endless long shower to wash away the embarrassment still sticking to his skin like a sweaty shirt, and then maybe drown himself in said shower.

“Ni-ki and I are sharing the bed,” Sunghoon announces loudly and drags Ni-ki over to the bed, pointedly glaring at Sunoo and Jake who have lowered their heads. “I don’t want to hear smooching at night. End of discussion.”

Damn. He didn’t even give them a chance.

Jake, ever the gentleman, lets Sunoo take the more comfortable couch where he immediately flops down and takes out a book to read. And then, Jake’s throwing his bags into the next corner and jogging off to the backyard where the deck stops a few metres into the lake.

“You wanna check out the lake, too?” Sunghoon asks him while he shuffles into his shoes at the entrance again. Ni-ki shakes his head. Now is the perfect time to catch up on some sleep.

“I’ll take a nap first,” he declines and collapses onto the bedspread in his outside clothes.

—

Dinner consists of cup ramyeon and a few side dishes like gimmari, tteokbokki and a few prepped pajeons that Sunoo brought to shove them into the microwave. Jake’s plan was to microwave the rice, too, to have it with the fish they catch but he’s had no luck so far. The total of fish caught sum up to an incredible, impressive zero.

“I’ll catch one this weekend,” Jake reassures them—or maybe himself, who knows—but he sounds dejected and a little hopeless even as he puts on his shoes again, ready to go out into the night for more fishing. Sunoo seems to think that Jake needs some reassurance, so he tries to rub his back in a comforting manner. Ni-ki would like to point out that his lips are curled into an fond smile, so he’s clearly enjoying this more than he feels sorry for Jake.

Sunghoon, meanwhile, seems to be in a much better mood now that he’s already spent a few hours relaxing on deck and waiting for fish to bite. He’s humming under his breath and smiling to himself—which is a little creepy, but at least he’s not grumpy anymore.

“Are you joining us now?” Jake asks Ni-ki and immediately brightens up when Ni-ki slips into his own shoes and grabs a fishing rod. Honestly, it’s cute. Jake’s also really cute. Just not as cute as Jungwon.

‘Please get it together.’

His mind’s surprisingly a lot more quiet once he’s settled in a tiny foldable chair and kicking his feet back after he cast out the fishing line. Or, well, maybe it’s not that surprising. Ni-ki has to focus a lot on the rod tip unless he wants it to dip without him noticing. Even then, it’s refreshing to hear more than his obsession with Jungwon and his cute, kissable lips in his head.

He feels a lot better after his nap. Less like doing something drastic, like changing his identity and running away to Japan, or video calling Jungwon to call him cute again and finally see his reaction to it.

Yeah, that would’ve been embarrassing.

Jake is further down the deck, whereas Sunghoon is a little closer to the house. Ni-ki sits in the middle of them, his gaze locked somewhere on the water surface where is bait is supposed to be. It’s a little hard to tell in the dark. The peace of it all gives Ni-ki the chance to appreciate the sound of the lake moving against the shore. It reminds Ni-ki of the time he went fishing with Taki.

Not that the other enjoyed fishing a lot. But he put up with it for Ni-ki, much like Sunoo is doing right now for Jake.

He looks to Jake on his right and then to Sunghoon on his left. Both of them are focused on their fishing lines, so Ni-ki affords himself the luxury of not watching his own.

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung !

hey

you still up?

Hii!

Yeah I’m still awake

Jieun just knocked out for the night tho if you wanted to say hi to her :(

I’ll say hi on Monday again hahah

sorry, are you busy?

No, I was channel surfing

Best I can find is a very dramatic show about opera??

Are you?

How’s fishing?

chill

very slow today

we havnt caught any fish yet

Oh no

A slow day for the fishing industry, huh?

I’m a whole industry now??

the fish economy is crumbling

Fish economy hahah

Do they pay with fish dollars?

maybe?

hyung

Yes?

can I call you?

Any time

Ni-ki puts in his earbuds to call him. The line is dead silent when Jungwon picks up. He must’ve turned off the TV for the call. Occasionally, Ni-ki can hear a tiny sniffle followed by a loud sneeze, but other than that, neither of them speaks. Somehow, it doesn’t feel as awkward as Ni-ki expected it to. He feels a lot more at ease than before, simply because he knows, no, calling Jungwon cute didn’t cross any lines between them.

“The fish aren’t biting,” he murmurs after a while. When he checks, a whole hour has already passed.

“I can tell,” Jungwon yawns, “I was expecting you to start cheering some time soon but I think the fish industry is really dead. Not profitable. Wouldn’t recommend.”

“Do you not like fishing?” he laughs softly. Any louder, and he might disturb the fish. Or the little peace he managed to create.

“I’m too impatient for it. Can’t sit still for too long,” he explains, despite not having moved in the past hour he was on a silent call with Ni-ki. “Isn’t it only fun if you catch something?”

“The fun part is the anticipation,” Ni-ki hums, “But I can see why other people would find that boring. Too much waiting isn’t fun.”

“Exactly what I’m saying,” Jungwon sounds smug about it. Ni-ki can imagine that he’s grinning triumphantly. All teeth and dimples and crescent eyes. So cute. “Can you do me a favour?”

“Depends.” Ni-ki adjusts his earbuds. One of them is almost slipping out, and no matter which ear tips he chooses, they never seem to fit. “If you ask me to catch a fish for you, I might have to disappoint you.”

“Next time you pick up Jieun, please tell me if you catch any kids being mean to her.”

What.

“I think she’s getting bullied.”

What.

In the distance, Sunghoon starts cheering and jumps up from his chair. He reels in the first fish of the weekend.

[+]

“Appa?”

Slowly, the door to Jungwon’s bedroom creaks open.

He got off call with Ni-ki a few minutes ago to get ready for bed, and to let him celebrate their first catch with his friends. It was a horrible timing, dropping a bomb like that on him just before they had to end the call abruptly, but it can’t be helped. Jungwon doesn’t pick up Jieun from pre-school anymore, hasn’t since she started going actually, and it was only this noon that he realised he should have.

When Jungwon jogs down the street, he’s excited. Jieun doesn’t know he’s picking her up, but he knows she’s happy about every second they can spend together.

All of that excitement is gone the moment he rounds the corner to the pre-school and sees her. She’s the last kid waiting to be picked up in the courtyard, only her teacher left to watch her. To console.

His baby is crying.

Or at least, trying very hard not to cry. She’s furiously rubbing her sleeves over her eyes to wipe the tears, her brows set in a deep frown. Even from a distance, Jungwon can see her bottom lip wobbling.

He runs faster.

“Jieun?” he gasps and trips over his own feet trying to get to her. He falls to his knees in front of her, arms already open to crush her in a hug. “Jieun, what’s wrong?”

He looks up to the teacher who can only look at her, troubled, and shrug.

“She won’t tell me, I’m sorry,” she admits and bows deeply, “It’s my responsibility to make sure the kids are okay but… I don’t know what happened.”

“They’re wrong!” Jieun cries out and buries her face in Jungwon’s chest, “The others… They say I don’t have a mom because she doesn’t love me.”

Good God.

Jungwon didn’t know what to say back then. To be honest, he still doesn’t. Jieun only turned six recently. How could he possibly tell her that her mother… he’s not sure what Sooha was thinking when she left. If she still loves her. If she ever thinks about her. If she ever loved her.

All he knows it that they were young, and raising a child was something only Jungwon did once they got older.

But how will he tell Jieun without putting all the blame on her? He doesn’t know how to explain the situation sensibly, and he can’t call Jay to ask him at this hour. God knows if Jay can even help him. He’s not the one who became a dad at barely sixteen years old.

He’s not the single dad. 

“Come here, baby,” he whispers to her and pulls her into his chest. She clings to him, gripping at the front of his shirt that’s already soaking up her tears. Just the sound of her trying to stifle her sobs breaks Jungwon’s heart. She hasn't stopped crying since they came home. None of this is her fault. If anyone is to blame, it’s Jungwon.

“I love you enough for two.”

Chapter Text

Ni-ki can barely relax for the rest of their fishing trip.

Okay, that’s a lie. He relaxed lots. The moment Sunghoon had reeled in the first fish, the competition was on and all thoughts or worries of Jieun struggling at school were replaced by the needs to be better than Sunghoon at fishing—until Ni-ki stared at the water surface for too long, and even nature got too quiet. Until the metal of his foldable camping chair started digging into his thighs and back no matter how much he squirmed, until it got so late into the night, and so long since he last heard from Jungwon who never called back, that he couldn't help but stew in it for even longer.

‘Bullied’. It’s a horrible thing to imagine, to such a small human like Jieun, too.

He tried not to think about it too much. Monday was still a few days away, and Ni-ki kept himself busy to his best capabilities because any more thought, and he might have just taken the next bus home to burst into Jungwon's apartment. So he tried to do it all. Grill more meat, cook all the simple dishes he knew how to cook, fish more, bother Sunoo, bother Jake, call Taki, text K, bother Sunghoon, fish more, call and bother Jay, text and bother Heeseung.

Obviously, none of it really took his mind off the issue at hand.

So the first thing Ni-ki does when they're back on Sunday is to ask to be dropped off at the convenience store.

“Are you sure?” Jake asks him again as his car comes to a stop at the side of the road, looking over his shoulder to look at Ni-ki. “I can drop you off at Jungwon's, too. And then we can go home together.”

“It's okay, I gotta stop by somewhere else, too,” he declines and hops out of the car. He glances at Sunoo almost falling asleep on the passenger seat and Sunghoon already knocked out in the backseat. “Besides, you’re all tired. Better to get them into their beds.”

Jake’s gaze falls on Sunoo’s face.

“Let’s get you into a cozy bed, hm?” he offers with a soft smile, to which Sunoo replies with a hum. He turns back to Ni-ki. “Alright. If you need to be picked up, just call me.”

“I won’t stay long,” Ni-ki reassures him and shuts the car door as quietly as possible so he won’t wake up the others, “See you later.”

He watches Jake’s car drive off and round a corner before he allows himself to lose his composure. This is crazy of him to do, and he knows it’s crazy to do. It’s also the least he could do. He’s been thinking about it for the past two days anyway, so he might as well.

Popping into the store, he spots Jay at the counter first, sporting eye bags darker than his hair colour.

“You’re back?” Jay greets him with a wide grin and a fist bump, “How was it?”

“Really cool,” Ni-ki’s answer comes short, “Jungwon-hyung’s grocery run was supposed to be this weekend. Did he drop by?”

“You memorised his grocery schedule?” Jay looks at him like he’s crazy, and usually, Ni-ki would feel more embarrassed about it. People don’t remember when their crush drops by to buy his groceries but Ni-ki does. For Jungwon. But he has other things going on, more important ones. “Uh, no, I haven’t seen him.”

Ni-ki wordlessly grabs a basket and takes off. He’s on a mission, and that is: to feed Jungwon and Jieun. He knows that Jungwon goes grocery shopping every two weeks because his fridge goes empty. He literally has to because he cooks a lot, and he takes all the leftovers to work, but he also tries not too buy too much in case it goes bad before he can eat it. So not going shopping this weekend isn’t normal.

Truth is, Ni-ki would’ve stopped by the convenience store anyway. He just buys some extra stuff now, the products and produce that he remembers seeing in Jungwon’s basket often. Ramyeon. All the stuff for curry. Strawberry poptarts, a slice of chocolate cake. A few water bottles. Good thing Ni-ki brought his bag.

“You wanna tell me now how the trip was?” Jay teases him as he pretends to scan the items, and packs them up for him.

“I—yeah, fine!” Ni-ki sputters, flustered, “It was fun. My roommate who didn’t even wanna stay the whole weekend caught the most fish and we grilled them with rice. There were, like, no people around and the view was pretty. I got a video of a cat. Oh, and the biggest fish I caught was, like, the length of my forearm. You already know all this! I called you this morning.”

“I do,” Jay agrees easily and shrugs, “Was kinda hoping you’d snap out of this frenzy when you talk about fishing.”

“Oh.” Ni-ki watches Jay carefully tie up the plastic bag of the groceries that don’t fit inside his backpack. It’s a quick, precise movement, a total contrast to how Jay usually presents himself. “I’m sorry. I just—I gotta check up on something—”

“Something?” Jay interrupts him, his smile teasing, “Or someone?”

“Both,” Ni-ki admits quietly, “Jieun… I’m not sure if I can tell you.”

Jay’s eyes widen as the realisation dawns on him. Ah. So he already knows what this is about.

“Take these for free,” he urges Ni-ki and slides him three boxes of strawberry milk with a serious look, “You can tell them we’ve got their backs, too. Jungwon’s like my brother. That’s basically my niece they’re messing with.”

“Okay, will do!”

—

Ni-ki only made one more stop before booking it to Jungwon’s apartment. It’s not that late yet, maybe five pm at the latest, and too early to have dinner. But this is just the time at which Ni-ki got his things done.

He hesitates to ring the bell. Maybe Jungwon and Jieun are asleep and he should knock. Then again, his backpack and plastic bags are getting heavy. He presses his ear against the metal door. If there’s any noise, then he can probably ring the bell.

“Appa, catch her!”

“I’m trying! She’s faster than she looks, you know?!"

Okay, they’re definitely awake. That gives Ni-ki all the permission he needs to take a deep breath, shake off his nerves, and ring the bell. The wait seems to last for ages. He can hear Jungwon and Jieun quiet down, the chase after ‘her’ (probably Manifesto) slowing to a stop, and even then, it takes forever for someone to open the door.

“Oh, Papa!”

Jieun is bolting out of the door the moment she spots him through the crack. Before Ni-ki knows it, she’s up in his arm and laughing happily.

“But it’s the weekend!” she exclaims and pats his cheeks, “Are you here to help us?”

“I—Yeah, I am,” Ni-ki says almost too easily and swallows. Jieun’s hair is tied into two braids again and she’s wearing her duck onesie. She’s giggling and looks… okay. High in spirits as usual. Was he worried for nothing? Jungwon seems to have done a good job at cheering her up on his own. “May I come in?”

He turns to Jungwon who’s staring at him with a slack jaw. He looks a little more worn that Jieun. There are dark bags under his eyes, and his hair looks unwashed and messy. Not the usual fluffy and round hairstyle he usually has. Even his clothes are a lot more casual and crumpled than usual. His blue shirt is even slipping off one shoulder, exposing a collarbone.

When he realises that Ni-ki is asking him for permission to enter, he blinks a few times and nods slowly.

“Of course. Careful, Manifesto might attack your feet.”

“Thank you.”

Ni-ki is quick to put Jieun down in the kitchen before he unloads all of his bags and his backpack. Jieun goes on her tiptoes to watch him, and Jungwon peers over his shoulder. Manifesto jumps onto the counter and circles one plastic bag that Ni-ki has left untouched so far.

“Jay-hyung told me you didn’t go shopping yet,” Ni-ki tries to explain himself sheepishly, but the more he says, the more absurd he sounds. What reason would even sounds the least insane? ‘I’m in love with you so I know when you go shopping. Since you didn’t, I went shopping for you—’ That’s crazy! Ni-ki’s crazy! “So I’m just the delivery boy.”

Except Jay didn’t send him. Jungwon doesn’t need to know that this is just a little white lie.

“Oh, yeah,” Jungwon mutters, and he’s so close that his breath fans over Ni-ki’s shoulder, “I completely forgot about it. I tried catching—Manifesto!”

The little kitten cries out when Jungwon reaches around Ni-ki’s torso to catch her in his palms. Ni-ki might have yelped a little, too. In this position, it’s almost as if… No, he can’t think about it!

“Sorry,” Jungwon giggles. His cheek is squishing against Ni-ki’s shoulder. He’s so, so warm. “She got into Jieun’s strawberry milk and we have to give her a bath.”

Making sure that Manifesto can’t escape his left hand, Jungwon slowly peels himself off of Ni-ki’s back again. When he looks over his shoulder, Jungwon is grinning proudly and showing off Manifesto caught in air jail.

“Ew,” he complains and scrunches his face cutely, “She’s still wet.”

“You caught her!” Jieun cheers and jumps in excitement. She runs around Jungwon’s legs and tugs at the hem of his shirt, laughing just as usual. Whatever worries Ni-ki had about her feeling down evaporate. She seems to be doing okay. That’s good. “We can bathe her now!”

“You said she fell into your strawberry milk?” Ni-ki chimes in and pats Jieun’s head, “Look what Jay-hyung gave me for you.”

He pulls out the box of strawberry milk and places it into her tiny, awaiting hands. She doesn’t even need to read the label. Just the sight of the pink box has her gasping and thanking him.

“Thank you, papa!” Jieun jumps again and pulls the milk out of his hands eagerly. Immediately, she takes off to the bathroom. “Appa, come! You're going to drop her again!”

“I didn't drop her!” Jungwon defends himself and follows her, but not without throwing back a look over his shoulder and smiling at Ni-ki, “Thank you. I’ll be right back, okay? Stay for dinner.”

“I brought dumplings, too,” Ni-ki adds uselessly.  He got the dumplings for Jieun and Jungwon, not himself. He’ll never say no to free dinner though.

“Great!”

Jungwon disappears into the bathroom, Manifesto wailing in his hands. Ni-ki is left alone in the kitchen to unpack his grocery bags and it hits him all at once again. This is domestic. This is what his life would look like if he was living with them and a part of their little family. Jungwon and he could alternate between each other to go shopping, depending on who has the time for it. The other one could spend time with Manifesto and Jieun, laughter carrying through the apartment. Jungwon would cook dinner for all of them, or Ni-ki reheats dumplings in the microwave (which he knows how to use, thank you very much).

‘Well, someone’s down bad.’

‘Shut up and put the meat in the fridge.’

‘I want to put my mea—’

‘For the love of God.’

Ni-ki puts the meat in the fridge. Clearly, he should focus on something else that isn't his own thoughts. Instead, he tries to focus on putting away the groceries and Jieun’s squealing as they try to wash a wailing Manifesto. It's really funny. He's pretty sure that Jungwon is cutting himself off before he can let a curse word slip from his lips in front of his daughter.

“Appa, she looks so sad.”

“Maybe she shouldn't have jumped into your milk if she doesn't want to be sad. Hm?”

“Eeek!”

“Hey! Manifesto!”

More commotion. Ni-ki’s pretty sure he can even hear the water splash between more yelling and loud meowing.

—

Group Chat: NO MOVING OUT XXX

Dad hyung:

@Ice princess where are you again

its your turn to do the laundry

Ice princess:

I’m literally at home

Kim Oosun:

we’re having sex in your bed

Ice princess:

I AM AT HOME

GET TF OUT OF THERE

Ni-ki:

next time, try my bathroom @Dad hyung

he goes there to sext when I’m out

Ice princess:

I AM LITERALLY GETTING THE LAUNDRY FROM YOUR BATHROOM

Dad hyung:

if you want to see your gf so bad

just ask me if we can switch tasks

Ice princess:

still not a girlfriend

still doing the laundry right now

Kim Oosun:

10 bucks hes not doing laundry right now

Dad hyung:

cant bet against that, it’s the truth

Ice princess:

I will have sex with my partner in all of your beds.

Ni-ki:

WHY MINE TOO

i’m literally just trying to take care of jungwonie hyung :(

Ice princess:

fine

keep living my dream of being a house husband

but know that I resent you for it.

Ni-ki:

we’re not married yet!

Kim Oosun:

loooool

“yet” he say

Ni-ki:

just you wait

my delusions will be our reality before youre man enough to propose to jake hyung

—

“Thank you for the dumplings.” Jungwon leans back in his chair with a content sigh and shovels the first dumpling into his mouth. “How much were they?”

“You don't have to pay me back,” Ni-ki declines immediately, “The lady gave me more than half of them for free because she was closing shop for today. And then she gave me the rest for free when I told her they were for you.”

“Ahjummas love me,” Jungwon tells him proudly, “All of them want me to meet with their daughters or nieces.”

“But you have a daughter!” Jieun chimes in, whining, “Me.  And Manifesto, too. That’s enough daughters.” She holds Manifesto up to Jungwon's face with a frown, clearly judging him for even bringing up someone else’s daughters. Ni-ki stares at her for a few seconds. Seems like she hasn't made the connection just yet that all of the ahjummas’ daughters are Jungwon’s age. They want him to date one of them.

“N-No, I don't—” Jungwon tries to hold back his laughter but fails miserably, a pained wheeze escaping him, “They wouldn't be my daughter, Jieun. They’d be…”

Jungwon trails off awkwardly, and his look turns sober. Serious. He glances at Ni-ki for just one heartbeat before he twists his entire upper body to face Jieun and ruffles her hair.

“They’d be your mom,” he finishes the sentence, and just the thought of anybody at Jungwon's side as a partner kills Ni-ki's appetite. And really, it shouldn’t. Ni-ki isn’t entitled to become Jungwon’s partner just because he likes him but, wow, does he not want somebody else to get that privilege either.

“Oh,” Jieun stabs one of her dumplings with her chopsticks to pick it up, “I don’t want a mom. I have appa and papa!”

‘She needs to stop feeding my delusions.’

‘No, this is a good sign. If we start dating Jungwo—’  

‘Who’s ‘we’? We’re not gonna do shit—' 

‘We gotta listen to Jieun.’  

Tonight, the delusions win.

Not only that, but Ni-ki is endlessly relieved that Jieun doesn’t seem to care about not having a mom. She grins brightly at him, full of love and excitement that he’s sitting opposite of her, and he starts to hope that, if not as Jungwon’s partner, then he’d be good enough friends with him to watch her grow up past the babysitting age.

“Guess you’ll have to keep blowing off the ahjummas, hyung,” Ni-ki teases Jungwon who only ducks his head with a timid chuckle.

“I’d say that I feel bad,” he mutters under his breath, “but—”

“—lying is bad!” Jieun finishes for him, beaming.

“Yeah,” Jungwon chuckles proudly and leans over to press a kiss to Jieun's forehead, “That’s right. Now finish your dinner, you have school tomorrow.”

“I’m bringing Manifesto to preschool,” she announces and holds the kitten up to her father's face. Manifesto meows in agreement, almost as if the decision has already been made and approved of.

“You are definitely not,” Jungwon denies and plucks Manifesto from Jieun’s hands, putting her into his lap and scratching her under her chin, “Manifesto stays at home. Preschool is no place for kittens, it’s for kids like you.”

“Appa!” Jieun whines and, when he shakes his head insistently, turns to Ni-ki with an even whinier voice, “Papa!”

He should've known the moment she turned to him with big, pleading eyes and a frown. Really, he could've predicted it. He still chokes on his dumpling. Why would she ask him? She knows he doesn't actually have any say in parenting her, especially since he's not actually her dad. Not even in a weird step dad sense. Ni-ki isn't a parental figure to her.

“You should listen to your appa, hm?” he offers uselessly and has to watch her whine more with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He doesn't even know what he's so anxious about here. Other people would be elated to know that their crush’s daughter likes them. But this, this whole parenting thing, it's too much for Ni-ki. She just looks so sad, but his opinion on that matter shouldn't mean that much to her. Not yet anyway. He can't parent without Jungwon’s permission, but he should be able to do it as Jieun's babysitter. And as future teacher. If he can't stay firm with Jieun now, how will he handle a whole classroom?

“Two dads and zero Manifestos,” Jieun sighs and slumps in her chair, crossing her arms in front of her chest petulantly, “You're so mean to me.”

“I know we are, baby,” Jungwon says softly, almost apologetically, “But Manifesto has to stay at home. Your teacher wouldn't like it if you brought her, and it's so dangerous for a kitten like her. She's so small, Jieun, and the kids in your class can be so brutal, sending her to that place is irresponsible and dangerous—”

“What your appa means, Jieun,” Ni-ki interrupts because he has the growing suspicion that it's not about Manifesto anymore. He reaches out to put a hand on Jungwon's shoulder and squeeze it, reminding him to breathe, “is that you can't bring Manifesto to preschool because it's not cat-proof. She doesn't have a cat tree or a litter box there, right?”

“No…” Jieun mumbles. She puffs her cheeks in dejection and stabs another dumpling, “We only have chairs and toilets.”

“That’s not where Manifesto could play a lot, is it?” Ni-ki hums and pats her head clumsily. Is he doing this right? When he glances at Jungwon, the other has a strange look in his eyes. Distant and glassy, like he’s looking straight through Ni-ki instead of at him. “We’ll play lots with her when I pick you up from preschool, okay?”

“Okay!” Jieun perks up again, stabbing and eating her dumplings with more enthusiasm now.

Ni-ki tears his gaze away from her cute hamster cheeks to glance at Jungwon again who's staring back at him and waits. Jungwon looks like he has a lot to say. When Ni-ki raises an eyebrow at him, Jungwon only nods into Jieun's direction and shakes his head, so he drops it again. Jungwon is right. They shouldn’t try to discuss this in front of her.

He almost chokes on his own dumpling when Jungwon carefully places his hand over Ni-ki’s bicep and gives it a squeeze. As if to comfort Ni-ki, Jungwon smiles at him, and Ni-ki has to look away again so he doesn’t kiss him. This will be a long dinner.

—

“Thanks for doing the dishes,” Jungwon says to him once he steps back into the kitchen with Manifesto on his shoulder. It's just a little after 8 pm and he already put Jieun to bed.  “Even though I told you to just leave them.”

“You were tucking in Jieun,” Ni-ki tries to shrug it off. Truth is, he feels bad for eating ‘his’ share of the dumplings when he originally got them for Jungwon and Jieun to cheer them up. All he wanted to do was drop off dinner and groceries and go home again and instead, he stayed for dinner. Again.

Jungwon doesn’t show that he minds if he does. He’s got this strange, empty look in his eyes again as he slowly blinks at Ni-ki and seems to think his answer over. Since he doesn’t say anything, Ni-ki turns back to the dishes.

The silence seems to stretch forever. Ni-ki manages to rinse off the chopsticks and all three plates, even wiping them dry with a towel, before Jungwon creeps up to the kitchen sink and leans against the counter. He still doesn’t say anything, just keeps looking at Ni-ki strangely. It’s unnerving. Jungwon’s eyes are adorably round and big, and Ni-ki can feel the last bit of sanity slipping that keeps him from pulling Jungwon by the collar of his shirt and kiss him stupid.

“Are you,” he breaks the silence hesitantly, unsure if it’s okay for him to ask since they’re not that close yet, “okay? You and Jieun? Our phone call kind of scared me and you went on a super projective rant during dinner.”

Jungwon averts his eyes in embarrassment, round cheeks colouring in a lovely shade of pink. Manifesto meows quietly and rubs her cheek against his.

“Jieun’s okay,” he mutters and shuffles his feet on the spot. “She cried a bit on Friday and Saturday but she woke up just fine today. I…”

He drifts off and lifts his gaze again, pointedly staring into Ni-ki’s eyes.

“I’m handling it less well,” he admits, a wavering confidence in his voice, “I don’t want to send her back but this is the closest preschool here. Nobody told me what to do when it’s other children acting up. So, uh, thank you. For cutting me off. You’re really good with her.”

‘You’re really good with her.’

Really, the sentence alone shouldn’t send Ni-ki over the moon the way it does. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s that sentence paired with a shy, adorable Jungwon whose bangs curl over his hypnotising eyes and whose sleeves are slipping over his hands, giving him sweater paws, that really does it for him. Oh, he’s sick in the head. He’s going to throw up.

“That’s why I’m her babysitter,” he manages to croak out, voice cracking like he’s a teenager again. In a way, he does feel like a teenager with a crush around Jungwon, which doesn’t help him keep his cool impression. Although, thinking about it for a bit longer, he doubts that Jungwon thinks of him as someone cool, not with all the embarrassing things that Ni-ki has already done. “Don’t worry about it. Jieun seems okay with going back.”

Jungwon simply hums in response. He gives Ni-ki another look through his lashes that he doesn’t really know how to interpret before he turns away, reaches up to open a cabinet and pulls out two blue mugs. When he turns back to Ni-ki, his gaze doesn’t hold as much weight anymore and whatever it was before that had Ni-ki so entranced and confused was replaced by a mellow, softer look.

“Strawberry milk?” he offers him quietly, “I still don’t have any coffee.”

“I should head home,” Ni-ki has to force himself to decline and stick with his reply when Jungwon’s gentle smile fades. He really wants to stay and talk more. Maybe tell Jungwon about his fishing trip. Maybe make sure Jungwon is okay. But if he stays, he’s erasing and kicking the invisible line he’s drawn to keep himself professional. A line that he’s already crossed many times before, but won’t cross anymore. He can’t risk anything more than a simple crush. “Tomorrow? When Sunghoon-hyung can pick me up after he’s done studying.”

“Yeah!” Jungwon agrees easily and puts the mugs back into the cabinet. His lips stretch into an excited grin. “Tomorrow then. Are you getting home alright today? The bus schedule…”

“I’ll call Jake-hyung to pick me up from the convenience store,” Ni-ki reassures him and dries off his hands. He checks the kitchen and dining area again. Everything is put away and cleaned up. Jungwon looks more relaxed now. Manifesto purrs loudly. “Gotta shop for us, too.”

“Okay,” Jungwon is still smiling at him as he walks him to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah,” Ni-ki says and turns around when he steps out. He inhales sharply. Jungwon is holding the door open and smiling up at him, eyes crinkling and sparkling. He knows he’s staring at him. He just can’t bring himself to stop staring at him, even when his face warms up, even when Jungwon’s smile falters and is replaced by a concerned pout. Especially when he starts to pout.

‘Stay professional,’ he reminds himself. He’s drawn a line. He should respect his own line.

“See you tomorrow, hyung.”

Ni-ki whirls around and bolts away before he can do anything stupid.

[+]

Technically, Jungwon knows that he and Ni-ki aren’t really friends. Or close, in any way at all. Not in the same way that he’s close to Jay or Heeseung, having been taken under their wings at a young age as some sort of younger brother.

But Ni-ki is so nice to him, and Jieun really likes him, too.

Jungwon had been stressed out and neglected a few of his responsibilities like buying groceries or cleaning the bathroom or doing the laundry, he won’t lie about that. Jieun had woken up on Saturday with fresh tears re-wetting the dried tear tracks on her round cheeks, and Jungwon almost broke down then and there. He couldn’t bear to see her like this, he didn’t know what to do. His baby.

So he tried everything. Honestly, it was exhausting. Jieun refused to have breakfast, refused to eat, refused to watch her show.

It was only when he led her to the fridge so she could pick if she wanted any snacks inside that she tugged on his sleeve and quietly told him she wanted to draw. When Jungwon looked down to her, her gaze was locked onto the family picture she drew of them and Manifesto—and Ni-ki.

He had thought that Jieun only added him because she sees him a lot, because he spends the most time with her. He would have never considered that Jieun actually thought of Ni-ki as someone as much of a parental figure as Jungwon is to her.

And then she had called out to him, to Ni-ki, as if she really thought Ni-ki’s permission would undermine Jungwon’s authority. Maybe he should feel offended or threatened.

Instead, all Jungwon can do is let his finger hover over Ni-ki’s chat and think.

They felt like a family today. Jungwon could tend to Jieun and all of her whims and needs while Ni-ki did the chores for him. He can’t even feel bad for letting him do them, he was just so grateful that someone helped him out. And Ni-ki stayed for dinner, seated on the same chair that he always sits on, and helped him out again.

He really, really likes Ni-ki.

Private Chat: ni-ki :)

Hey :)

Thank you again for today

Did you get home okay?

No need to thank me ;)

:)

:)*

I PROMISE I’M NOT WNKING AT YOU

Aww, you’re not? :(

NO

No. just smiling normally

Are you tired?

Nope, doing the studying I couldn’t do while fishing

Wanna call?

Don’t you want to study?

It’s fine

I cant focus right now anyway so

Are you just saying that to talk to me?

… maybe ;)

:)

:)*

STILL NOT WINKING

Just call me hahah

Just a heartbeat later, his phone rings and shows Ni-ki’s caller ID. He fails terribly at biting back his grin when he accepts the call and puts Ni-ki on speaker, resting his phone next to his head on the pillow.

"Hey," he murmurs and closes his eyes, "So, your fishing trip—"

Chapter Text

Ni-ki has probably never skated to Jieun’s preschool faster. And, yes, he's aware that he keeps saying that. It’s called a hyperbole, look it up.

He’s a little all over he place and in a frenzy today, courtesy of waking up late because all three of his housemates decided that he doesn’t need to be awake for breakfast and all of his professors deciding they need to assign more writing and essays. The deadlines are fine. One month is plenty of time but Ni-ki needs to stay on top of his academic game. He wants to graduate with good grades and in the good graces of his professors so that some of them might write him a letter of recommendation for his job hunt later. God knows he’ll need it in this job market.

The professor of his last class was delighted to see that Ni-ki stayed behind to ask more clarifying questions about her assignment and present his concept to her—again, because he wants to do well. He won’t have the time to email her about it later, not with his babysitter job and his shift at the convenience store in the evening. On top of that, he wanted to call Taki on his way home before he calls Jungwon in the evening and get started on his assignments.

Long story short, Ni-ki’s running late.

He barely comes to a skidding halt at the gate of the preschool, almost throwing himself off of his skateboard in his attempt to stop, before hoping off and entering the grounds. Two steps in, and he freezes mid-step.

Jieun is sitting on the stairs with a book in her lap as usual, another girl in front of her almost blocking Ni-ki's view of her. He can only see her violet dress and her shiny, black hair tied into two braids again from this distance, but it takes a lot more than a child for Ni-ki to not recognise her.

The teacher is somewhere off to the side where the other kids are playing on the playground. One of the little boys is getting picked up by his parents, and the parents are chatting with the teacher—distracting her from what is happening to Jieun.

Ni-ki crosses the yard in long, angry strides. He could see at first glance that Jieun’s trying to hide behind her book, keeping her head down and nose buried between the pages, as she keeps trying to ignore the girl in front of her. With every step he takes to close the distance between himself and the stairs, he can hear the other girl’s voice louder, hear her taunts clearer.

Not to be a bad influence on children and unnecessarily hate on them but—

“Hey!” he calls out to get the kid’s attention, louder than he needed or wanted to, and pulls her away from Jieun, “You brat wanna say that about Jieun again?”

He lets the kid shake off his grip on her shoulder and stumble back a few steps. Whatever face he’s making right now—like he cares about whether he makes this kid cry or not—she bursts into loud, hiccupping sobs when she looks at him.

The commotion finally has the teacher hurry over. Her and another woman that Ni-ki doesn’t know who’s suddenly popping up from behind him.

“And who are you?”

He twirls around, the fury already at the tip of his tongue, but holds back the moment he sees a tired-looking, older woman in her mid-forties standing in front of him. And while her lips are pulled into a thin line and her eyebrows furrowed, she looks reasonable enough for him to have a civil conversation with.

“I’m Jieun's babysitter,” he answers easily and takes a deep breath. He has to remind himself that this woman is much older than him, and that adults have never taken him seriously while emotional. It’s best to stay as calm as possible. “So my job is to make sure that she's okay while her dad isn't here. Which she clearly isn't because your daughter is bullying her.”

“My Hana would never do that,” she cuts him off sharply. All of a sudden, she doesn’t look as tired or subdued anymore. Still, Ni-ki refuses to back down.

“It literally just happened—"

The woman levels him with one sharp glare before it slowly moves over to Jieun who has remained silent throughout the whole exchange. She is now peering over the pages of her book, holding the eye contact with the other kid’s mom quite well despite its edge. Honestly, she looks like she’s about to start scolding Jieun instead of her own brat, as if she had done anything to warrant the other girl’s behaviour towards her.

Ni-ki’s lips subconsciously twist into a snarl. He takes a step to the side, blocking Jieun from that woman’s view and looming over her short stature.

Finally, the teacher catches up to them.

—

Jieun is sitting close to Ni-ki atop the stairs, snuggled up into his side and safe under his arm over her shoulders, when he finally experiences one of those cliché shojo manga moments.

Jungwon seems to round the corner as if in slow motion even though Ni-ki can already tell from this distance that he has glistening droplets of sweat is dripping down the sides of his handsome face from all the running. His tie flutters wildly behind him, a colourful stripe of hopeful yellow in the air. His big eyes are widened even more in worry, and his eyebrows are furrowed.

Ni-ki almost gasps in awe. Finally, a rational and responsible adult in shining armour coming to his rescue!

“I’m so sorry!” Jungwon exclaims as he approaches. Hana’s mother huffs smugly at Ni-ki before getting her delusions wrecked. Jungwon bows to the teacher instead of her. “I came as fast as I could, please excuse the wait. Is everything… alright?”

His gaze flickers towards Ni-ki on the stairs, flittering between him and Jieun tucked away under his arm.

Hana’s mother speaks up before the teacher can.

“Your insolent little babysitter thinks he can lay his hands on my daughter!”

Now, that just makes it sound even worse than what Ni-ki tried to do. He whips his head up, his counterargument already on the tip of his tongue. Adult be damned, he will defend himself and insult her, too, if she tries to make him look like a creep.

“I’d be careful with accusations like these,” Jungwon warns her strictly, an unusual edge to his voice. “Ni-ki would never do that, he wouldn’t be Jieun’s babysitter otherwise. Now. Tell me the full story please.”

For his last sentence, he makes a point of looking at Ni-ki while saying so. Clearly, he holds his side of the story in high regard, and it’s a kind of trust that Ni-ki doesn’t know how to handle. But still, this is about Jieun. Or maybe it’s because it’s about Jieun that Jungwon trusts him so much, even if he’s nothing more than her babysitter.

“I admit, I overreacted,” Ni-ki admits and he tries not to let his voice waver. He looks at Hana hiding behind her mother’s legs and bows to her as best as he can while sitting. “I apologize for that, I shouldn’t have pulled you like that. However, I will not allow you to bully Jieun like that without consequences.”

He tries to ignore how surprised Hana looks when he talks to her, apologises to her. As if it’s the first time an adult has done this.

“Bully?” Hana’s mother scoffs. “Please, they’re pre-schoolers.”

“But she did,” Jieun speaks up. Ni-ki likes to think that he knows her well enough by now that her confidence in front of Hana’s mother, who has been nothing but belittling towards her, is unusual. He’ll have to buy her all the strawberry poptarts in Heeseung’s store for standing up for herself like this. “She keeps making fun of me for not having a mom. It’s mean and I don’t like it.”

Ni-ki’s attention is drawn to Jungwon as soon as he inhales sharply. When he turns his head to look at him, his eyes are fixed on Hana.

“Ah, so this is the kid?” he mutters, more to himself than anyone and shakes his head.

“I tried to ignore her, Appa, I really did,” Jieun continues but now, her voice trembles as she fights back the tears welling up in her eyes, “But she won’t stop! She only stopped when Papa came.”

Suddenly, all eyes have moved on from Jieun to Ni-ki next to her. It’s awful, being in the spotlight like this, and Ni-ki can already tell that it’s for multiple reasons, all of which he doesn’t like. Hana is looking at him because, wow, Jieun seems to do have two parents, even if both of them are men. Her mother is glaring at him as if he was a monster, a look that Ni-ki knows too well from back then, when he and Taki walked past older, conservative people hand in hand. The teacher looks shocked, but otherwise neutral. Unlike Hana’s mother, she doesn’t seem to mind, is confused at most.

Jungwon’s, however, is the most difficult look to decipher. He looks deep in thought, as if he was staring straight through Ni-ki’s head while also trying to scan his face for anything that indicates how he feels. It’s hard to tell. Ni-ki can’t read him at all like this.

“I fear this situation is my mistake then,” the teacher finally speaks up and bows deeply. Jungwon eyes her empathetically and shakes his head. “The children and their behaviours are my responsibility until they’re picked up and I haven’t paid enough attention to Jieun to notice anything wrong. Jungwon-ssi, Jieun-ie, I’d like to apologise sincerely for this neglect.”

“It’s hardly your fault.” Jungwon’s cold voice cuts through the air as he glares at Hana’s mother. “A child’s behaviour is always the parent’s doing.”

“And what does a brat like you know about parenting?” she shoots back, just as cold. “Where are your parents?”

“My parents tried their best, and they gave me everything I needed to know about responsibilities.” If the reminder of his own parents hit a nerve with him, Jungwon doesn’t show it. “I messed up, yes, but it’s nobody else’s fault but mine, which is why I am owning up to them and taking responsibility. Jieun is my dearest child, and I won’t let anybody make her life more difficult than it already is with me as her father. Not her mother who isn’t around, and certainly not a child whose mother can’t be bothered to parent her properly.”

Ni-ki likes to think that he’s got the whole “being an adult” thing down pretty well. He lives away from his parents—a whole 1,5 hour flight away— in a house with three other adults that he pays rent for, works two jobs while attending school, and does all of his paperwork and other chores himself. He has his own bills to pay, and his own food to cook and his own laundry to do and his own bathroom to clean.

None of it will probably ever come anywhere close to having his own child to raise.

—

The matter isn’t resolved immediately. Hana’s mother doesn’t back down from her stance that her daughter is doing anything wrong because “it’s the truth, she doesn’t have a mother”, and Hana herself hides behind her mother’s legs while sticking out her tongue at Jieun while her mother argues with Jungwon about who should apologise. The teacher tries her best to mediate, but to no avail. Ni-ki has already apologised for pulling at Hana harshly, so the only wrongdoing now is Hana’s behaviour towards Jieun who has only been silently watching the whole thing go down.

After a while, she gets sick of it.

“Can we please go home?” she pouts and climbs into Ni-ki’s lap to cling to him like a koala. “I have homework!”

Her reasoning is so ridiculous in this situation, so reasonable, that Ni-ki can’t help but laugh. He wraps both of his hands around Jieun’s small body and supports her as best as he can with one arm under her legs while he stands up and grabs her backpack. Jungwon catches the motion from the corner of his eye and immediately stops arguing with Hana’s mother, hurrying over to them with a worried look.

“Is everything okay?” he asks and strokes her back gently, “Jieun, princess, are you alright?”

“’m lazy,” she murmurs, “I need all my energy for homework.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Jungwon chuckles, shoulders sagging in relief. He shakes his head as if he couldn’t believe that Jieun’s current priorities lie with her homework. Honestly, Ni-ki feels the same. But it’s also just such a Jieun thing to do that it only makes sense. “You’re right. We should probably go home for today, you’ve got lots to do, hm?”

“Yeah…” She rubs her cheek against Ni-ki’s shoulder, still pouting and frowning, “Can we go home now? I’m hungry, too.”

Hana’s mother has already grabbed Hana and left when they all turn back to the spot where they just stood. Even the teacher is staring after them in disbelief, sputtering and stammering for any argument that would make them stay. Ni-ki doesn’t think it’s worth it to try and argue with someone who thinks they or their child can do no wrong.

They bid the teacher farewell and apologise for the troubles. As much as it’s her job to watch the children, she’s not the one responsible for parenting them.

On their way home, Jungwon calls his work to tell them that he’ll stay home for today, the exhaustion clear on his face and the way he carries himself. He’s dragging his feet, and Jieun’s backpack that he takes from Ni-ki seems to weigh him down like Jieun stuffed a bunch of heavy rocks into it. When he gets off the calls, he sighs deeply and drops his head.

“I’m really sorry you got called to pre-school because of me,” Ni-ki attempts to apologise but is quickly shut down.

“Oh, shush,” Jungwon nags him, “It’s not your fault she wanted a ‘real’ adult to speak with. Whatever that means. I should apologise. Our call on the weekend probably put you on edge, you were just trying to help. I know I was there for most of the time but I’d still like to pay you. This should count as babysitting Jieun and me.”

“Well, you certainly are the height for a babysitter,” Ni-ki laughs and earns himself a half-hearted glare. But when Jungwon juts out his lower lip into a pout, he doesn’t even look half-heartedly intimidating anymore. He looks like a grumpy kitten. “What? It’s true.”

“No wonder Hana’s mother didn’t take me seriously then,” Jungwon sighs again, all of his faked disgruntlement wiped from his face in an instant and replaced by exhaustion again. “I probably still look like a kid to her.”

“Hana’s mother is stupid,” Jieun chimes in. “She’s mean, too.”

“You can’t say that!” Jungwon sputters and whips his head around to look at Jieun in shock. “Please tell me you didn’t learn that from me?!”

“Jeongin-oppa said if adults are mean, it means they’re stupid,” she tells him, “And Hana’s mother is really mean, so she must be really stupid.”

Ni-ki has to laugh again.

“Oh my god,” Jungwon groans and runs his hands over his face, “Jieun, you can never, and I mean never, say that to an adult, okay? They’ll get really insulted and start yelling at you. It’s mean to call people stupid. Okay?”

“Okay,” she gives in sulking and snuggles closer into Ni-ki’s chest, “But it’s true. Hana’s mother doesn’t know anything. Jay-oppa, Heeseung-oppa, Yumi-unnie and Jeongin-oppa always say that I’m the best kid in the world, so you’re the best appa in the world.”

Jungwon doesn’t respond to that. He simply lowers his head, and his bangs cover his eyes. Even then, Ni-ki can see that his lower lip trembles. His fists clench and unclench at his sides, helpless, speechless.

“I think so, too,” Ni-ki agrees softly after a while, “Jieun’s great, so you must be doing everything right, Jungwon-hyung.”

“Thank you,” Jungwon croaks, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

—

Ni-ki’s completely drenched in sweat when they finally arrive at Jungwon’s apartment. Turns out carrying a kid while the sun is beating down on them and walking at a pace that accommodates a Jungwon in his Thinking Mode™ takes a lot from him. He should really go to the gym with Sunghoon again soon.

When he puts Jieun down, she toes off her shoes, thanks him and immediately hurries off to wash up in the bathroom before anyone can tell her to. Ni-ki is still taking off his first shoe when she closes the door behind her.

“I’m really sorry for today.”

Ni-ki cranes his head back as soon as Jungwon’s quiet voice sounds through the silence of the apartment. Jungwon won’t meet his gaze but even then, Ni-ki can tell that this afternoon must really weigh on him.

“I’m sorry, too,” Ni-ki apologises back, “You had to be called out of work for this when I could have handled it better.”

“You’re only her babysitter,” Jungwon shakes his head and pushes past Ni-ki into the apartment. He curls up on the couch and holds a pillow to his chest. “Jieun is my daughter. I should handle matters like these, not you.”

Ni-ki takes a deep breath. Okay. It was about time he said what’s on his mind anyway.

He carefully takes off his shoes and lines them up neatly next to Jieun’s. The view of all of their shoes put away like this just fits in his head. It makes sense to him.

“I care about her, too,” Ni-ki tells him, and he tries his best to sound confident, “I know I’m just a babysitter, but I am your stand-in while you’re at work. As much as it sucks for women, this is usually why mothers only work part-time. You don’t have the luxury, and I’d feel honoured if you’d let me take some of that burden off your shoulders.

“Jieun’s not a burden,” Jungwon scoffs. His cheeks are dusted pink. Ah. He’s purposefully avoiding the point that Ni-ki was trying to make.

“We both know that’s not what I meant,” he tells him softly and sits down on the opposite end of the couch. “Raising her alone is hard. I think you’re doing a wonderful job—Jieun is lovely—but you can’t handle things like her being bullied by yourself when you’re busy with work.”

“Which is why you shouldn’t apologise for today,” Jungwon reprimands him. “I shouldn’t be too busy for it. Jieun should take priority in my life and I… I didn’t even know something was wrong until it was too late.”

“Well, she seems to handle it pretty well.” He laughs. “I don’t think I was ever this much in a hurry to do my homework when I was in school.”

“Yeah.” Jungwon snorts. “Me neither.”

A silence settles over them. It’s in no way uncomfortable or loaded with tension. Both have just run out of things to say for now.

“Appa, papa,” Jieun’s voice calls out from the hallway, “I’ll do my homework in my room, don’t disturb me!”

“Okay, sweetheart!” Jungwon calls back, “We won’t!”

They fall back into the silence again. Now, Ni-ki feels unsettled by it. Jieun just reminded him that he was about to ask something crazy.

“Jungwon-hyung,” he starts carefully and keeps his gaze locked onto the turned off TV in front of them, “This might be pushing boundaries, but I’d like to know what you think falls under my responsibilities as Jieun’s babysitter. Sometimes, she treats me like I’m really her second dad, and I’m not sure how much I can indulge her in that.”

“Honestly, I don’t really know either,” Jungwon admits with a sigh and curls up further into the couch. Still, Ni-ki can see from the corner of his eye that he’s looking at him while he thinks. “I’ve never… You were the first person I told that she was having trouble at pre-school. She draws a clear line with Jay-hyung and Heeseung-hyung. But with you… It’s new. I don’t really know what to do either. If you want her to stop, I can try to tell her but she can be really stubborn—”

“No!” Ni-ki interrupts him, almost panicked, and clears his throat awkwardly when Jungwon actually stops his rambling. “I—I don’t mind, you don’t have to do that. I’m just asking to know how much I can indulge her and where to draw the line. Today was kind of a reminder that I’m not actually her dad and that I can’t speak for you when it comes to her wellbeing. So what I’m trying to ask is… Well, I don’t really know what I’m trying to ask anymore actually. I just don’t want to cross any boundaries and insert myself into your family just to please Jieun, I guess.”

“It’s hard to say no to her,” Jungwon agrees and giggles quietly. “I don’t… I think I’m fine with the idea of it. You acting as her dad while I’m gone. If—If you don’t mind, of course. It’s just, I’m missing out on so much in her life because I’m working so late and I’m afraid I can’t be there for her all the time or parent her properly. But it’s such a big responsibility, I can’t ask that of you—”

“I’d love to do it,” Ni-ki interrupts him again. He twists his upper body to return Jungwon’s gaze now, meet his sparkling eyes and look at the worried face he’s making. “I mean. I hope she takes the ‘papa’ thing serious enough to listen to me like I’m her dad.”

“Yeah…” Jungwon agrees quietly and hides his face in the pillow. Then, quietly, a laugh blubbers from his lips, a stream of giggles that quickly turn into a loud laugh. “Let’s hope she doesn’t just to it to get spoiled by you!”

“Oh my god, what if we fell right in her little toddler trap?” Ni-ki has to laugh as well. “She got every adult wrapped around her little finger, and we didn’t even realise!”

“Oh man,” Jungwon’s laughter dies down into sporadic giggles as he wipes a tear from his eye, “I’m serious about it, though. I think… I think Jieun would also let you. Co-parent her with me, I mean.”

Co-parent.

Co-parent.

Ni-ki’s world stops all at once.

‘That sounds like—’

‘Don’t even dare to finish this thought!’

‘—like we’re married and I’m adopting her!’

‘Why would you say that!’

‘How could I not?!’

Oh no. Oh, this is bad. All of Ni-ki’s delusions are suddenly being fed when all he wanted was to help out Jungwon a little. He doesn’t even have enough people to call to freak out over this. He already feels sorry for all of his housemates who will have to hear about this for the entire next week until Ni-ki is finally over it. Or for much longer, because he will never get over it.

“Yeah,” he rasps, throat feeling awfully dry all of the sudden, “Yeah, I’ll do my best.”

“I’m really sorry,” Jungwon apologises quietly again while he gives Ni-ki a small smile, “I know it’s a big responsibility.”

“I think we’ll do just fine,” he tries to reassure him, comfort him. Jungwon seems so… troubled by his doubts. Ni-ki hopes that he will believe him when he says next, “You’re already doing a wonderful job alone. I really mean it. Jieun is wonderful and it’s all thanks to you.”

“I think some of it is just in her nature,” Jungwon denies and shakes his head, “She… She reminds me of her mother sometimes and it scares me. She was really easy-going and grown up but she still left. I couldn’t support her enough when she struggled and I’m scared I’m making the same mistake with Jieun. Sometimes, I think it would be better if I ran away, too.”

“But you tried you best, right?” Ni-ki huffs, “I think in the end, it comes down to the choices we make for ourselves. Jieun’s mother thought that she wasn’t ready to raise a child this young. You chose to stay and sacrifice yourself for it. I can’t agree with Jieun’s mother to let you struggle by yourself for this long, but that’s the difference. She left, and you asked for help. Both are choices you made for what you thought was best for Jieun’s wellbeing, right?”

“Yeah,” Jungwon agrees, deep in thought. He’s staring past Ni-ki into the kitchen, a dazed look in his eyes as he thinks. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s just hard not to resent her for it sometimes. Jieun wouldn’t be getting bullied for not having a mom if she was here with us.”

“That’s also true,” Ni-ki agrees with a sigh and settles back into the couch. “Man, this parenting thing is hard.”

“I’m kinda dead from all this emotional vulnerability,” Jungwon admits, his tone only half joking. Ni-ki turns his head again to see Jungwon grinning at him shyly, so he grins back. “You got some time? Stay for a hot chocolate and dinner to recharge.”

“Okay,” Ni-ki agrees almost too easily, “That sounds great.”

—

Ni-ki and Jungwon are seated on opposite ends of the couch and watching a random survival show with their cups of cold chocolate instead of hot chocolate clutched in their hands (it's summer after all) when Jieun quietly comes out of her room. She's finished her homework for today and grabbed a book to read while she sits on the couch with them, Manifesto curled around her shoulders happily and taking a nap up there.

At some point, the program switched from the survival show to a random variety program and Jieun started leaning her body against Jungwon’s, cuddling up safe and sound under his arm and squishing her cheek against his side. Again, it’s the kind of moment that reminds Ni-ki if everything he could have if he was just a smidge braver and confessed his feelings—a family of his own.

It’s crazy enough that Jungwon himself called it co-parenting. But to imagine it, co-parenting with Jungwon, with everything else that it implies, sounds like a wild dream that Ni-ki would usually only make up so he could fall asleep peacefully.

But this could be his life. This is how his evenings could look like, sat together on a couch with cups of cold hot chocolate, and watching a random TV program while Jieun eats up her book and Manifesto plays with the hair on Jungwon’s nape. Ni-ki would probably be seated on the floor instead if he felt any more inclined to doing his own work today and try to cram every bit of lesson material into his head.

And then, Jungwon would get up from the couch as he’s doing right now, head to the kitchenette on the other side of the room and open the fridge to get started on dinner—again, just as he’s doing right now.

Oh no. Is it already time for dinner?

Ni-ki jolts up in his seat, suddenly all too aware of how he missed how much time has passed.

“It’s 7 pm,” Jungwon tells him softly, “If you want to study a bit and don’t mind the noise, you can just do it now instead of later. You still need to sleep.”

“I have a night shift at the convenience store,” Ni-ki complains and slides off the couch like a blob of slime. “Sleep has become a stranger to me.”

Jieun giggles at his dramatics and closes her book, letting Manifesto climb off her shoulder and into her lap. Kicking her feet, she adds, “Sleep is important! Appa always scolds me when I stay up to read.”

“And your appa is completely right,” Ni-ki agrees, “You need all that sleep to grow well but papa is already tall.”

“So if I sleep a lot, I will grow tall like papa?” she giggles, “That’s too tall! Papa slept too much.”

“That’s not true!” he gasps in mock-offense, earning himself a set of giggles, “I’m the perfect height to reach all the shelves I need.”

“You are pretty tall,” Jungwon agrees, a casual throw-away comment if only Ni-ki didn’t know what else his height was perfect for, “What did your parents feed you?”

“Ah, just the regular, standard food,” he thinks and hums, “Lots of fish and seafood. My favourite was kakioko, it’s oyster okonomiyaki. Mostly oysters, actually. Wow, I really like oysters.”

Jungwon laughs at his sudden realisation. It’s just something he never noticed while growing up but when he thinks about it a bit longer… Ni-ki suddenly really misses his home. And oysters. But mostly home. It’s been a while since he’s been back, and the more he dwells on the past few years with barely any visits back, the more he realises that he’s only being updates through calls and texts. None of it comes close to getting to talk to his family or friends again. Maybe he should go back during the next break.

“You’re in luck,” Jungwon rips him out of his train of thoughts. “Heeseung-hyung gave me a bunch of oysters that I put in the freezer. They won’t be fresh but I’ll just bake them with cheese, is that okay?”

“What are oysters?” Jieun asks and climbs off the couch. She walks around the coffee table to go into the kitchen area and watches Jungwon curiously while he wrestles a bag of oysters out of the freezer. “Oh, the stinky shell snails.”

“They’re not stinky, Jieun,” Jungwon laughs and stops again, “Although… Yeah. They’re a bit stinky. But they’re good, watch.”

“Can I help?” Jieun offers and cheers when Jungwon lets her wash the rice.

Ni-ki lets his head fall back into the couch with a sigh and turns off the TV. He supposes he could do a bit of homework before dinner.

—

“Bye, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Ni-ki says and bows politely when he has to leave for his shift. His belly is stuffed full with rice and baked oysters. It’s nowhere near close to the dishes his mom used to make him, but just having eaten something similar fills him with a sense of satisfaction. “If you’re tired after today, we don’t have to call, Jungwon-hyung.”

“Honestly, sounds good to me,” he agrees with a yawn hidden behind his hand and stretches one of his arms in the air. Cute. So, so cute. Jungwon is just like a sleepy kitten—a reasonable comparison since Manifesto is doing the same stretched out behind him on the floor. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Bye, papa!” Jieun chirps energetically and zooms off into her bedroom. It’s just a little before 8:30 pm but everyone seems to be ready to go to sleep here.

Jungwon and Ni-ki exchange one last look and chuckle before Ni-ki turns around and walks off, hearing the door fall into its hinges behind his back.

Arriving to his shift feels weird.

Jay is already tapping his fingers impatiently on the cash register counter and waiting for him with a box of strawberry milk when Ni-ki saunters in, suddenly all too aware that he won’t return to Jungwon’s apartment after this and instead will have to wait for Jake to pull his all-nighter and pick him up to drive them back to their house. It doesn’t fit into his ‘co-parenting with Jungwon’-fantasy at all but somehow only makes sense.

Ni-ki might have skipped a few steps regarding his relationship progression with Jungwon.

“Wow, you look more dead than me,” Jay rasps, eyes already half-closed from sleepiness. “And I’ve been up since yesterday.”

“I’m a broke uni student,” Ni-ki shoots back but it comes out half-hearted, and defeated at best, “Your only excuse would be your husband keeping you up because you’re happily married and still in your honeymoon phase.”

“Oh please,” he laughs quietly to himself, “Our honeymoon phase is long over. We’re just students, too.”

“Economics isn’t a real study subject, sorry.” Despite now officially being given to be a father, Ni-ki is still just a baby. So it’s perfectly fine if he drapes himself over Jay’s lap and rests his head on his shoulder for a little nap, right? “Where’s Heeseung-hyung?”

“Had an emergency with Jeongin-hyung,” he explains and rubs his back. Yeah, that’s right. Ni-ki is Jay’s baby. “Something about overdoing it at the gym with Chan-hyung?”

“That sounds like his own fault then,” Ni-ki comments and sighs. For some reason, he says, “Jay-hyung, I think I just became a dad.”

“Sorry, you what—”

Yeah, Ni-ki supposes he will have to explain this one to a lot of people a lot of times…

[+]

Jieun crawls into Jungwon’s bed not too long after he had originally tucked her into hers. She curls up into his chest with a satisfied sigh and closes her eyes, hands fisted in the front of his shirt. He’s not sure if he should be concerned about toddler development, even if others might find it weird. It’s not bad that she’s still a bit clingy, right?

Jungwon is her only parent after all.

“Where’s Manifesto?” he asks her quietly and rubs her back slowly.

“She’s in her tree,” she mumbles and snuggles closer to him, “She was playing with her toy with the bell in it. It’s too loud.”

Ah. So she didn’t come for comfort to him after all.

“It’s been a long day, hm?” he asks her and rests his other hand on the back of her head. Back when she was still a baby, Jungwon held her like that a lot. It was probably more comforting to himself than to her. But he needed that kind of contact, he had nobody else.

“Super long,” she agrees mumbling and yawns. “Hana’s mother took very long to leave.”

“You’ll be okay tomorrow, right?” he wonders. He can’t help but worry. This matter hasn’t been resolved in the slightest. If anything, Jungwon’s argument with Hana’s mother might have just set them back. “Hana hasn’t even apologised to you yet.”

“She doesn’t have to,” Jieun grumbles, “Hana’s stupid. If her mother is like that, then I don’t want one anyway.”

“As long as you’re okay with that…” He supposes that that’s one solution to it. Jieun doesn’t need a mother, hasn’t needed one since she was born.

But Jungwon needs her.

Jieun’s life—his life—would be much easier if her mother was still around. Jieun wouldn’t have to deal with any of the crap other kids give her for not having a mom, Jungwon wouldn’t be struggling by himself as much…

A lot would be different if Sooha had never left.

“I’m totally fine,” Jieun huffs stubbornly, “I only need Manifesto and appa. And papa, too.”

“Yeah,” he agrees quietly. As long as Jieun doesn’t say she wants her mother in her life, he would never let her back in, even if he's the one who needs her. She had her chance and she decided to throw it away. Jieun is better off without a mother that would ever make her question if she truly loves he.

“Only us, hm?”

—

Group Chat: heejay and baby

Heeseung hyung:

why did jay just call me super panicked that his baby has become a father

I thought jieun already turned six

Jay hyung:

NOT THIS BABY

NI-KI

I MEAN NI-KI

@Jungwon what is the meaning of this

why did you make my baby a father

Heeseung hyung:

that reads a bit weirdly lololol

Jay hyung:

DONT LOLOLOL ME

This is an emergency??

My other baby is already a father

Heeseung hyung:

I’m starting to think that YOU want to be a father

Jay hyung:

I mean

Not yet

We’re both still in school and I don’t wanna leech off my parents…

THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW

Heeseung hyung:

LOLOLOL

Jay hyung:

CAN YOU TAKE PARENTING A BIT MORE SERIOUS HYUNG???

Heeseung hyung:

Cant

I have to baby my boyfriend because he sprained his ankle

Byeeeee

Jay hyung:

JUNGWON ANSWER YOUR PHONE

JUNGWOOOOOON

Chapter Text

There are times when Ni-ki is proud to be a yapper, and there are times when he should learn to not yap for his own safety. Then again, he should've known that telling Taki that he may or may not have unofficially adopted a daughter would lead to him telling Kei, which would lead to Kei telling Ni-ki's mother, who would tell him off.

Not for the reason he expected (see: may or maybe not unofficially adopting a daughter). But he's still being told off.

Jake and Sunghoon are with him in the room for emotional support, even if they don't understand a single word that Ni-ki's mother rattles off about in Japanese.

Thinking about it, they're probably not even here for emotional support. They just want to laugh at him while he gets scolded by his mom for adopting a daughter without telling her first, for letting her know by thirdhand gossip, how her son has taken on such a big responsibility.

“And who is this young lady?” She's never been so angry with him, not even when he told her that he was moving abroad to study. “Where is her mother? I can't believe the father just let you adopt her like this, you haven't even finished your studies yet!”

“Mom,” he whines back in Japanese, and just the tone of his voice sends Jake and Sunghoon into a fit of laughter, “I’m not, like, officially adopting her—”

“—yet, am I right?” she interrupts him. “Oh, don't tell me this is the daughter of your boyfriend—”

“Not my boyfriend, mom,” he interrupts her again and laughs nervously. When did he ever tell her about Jungwon? Dammit, Taki!

“Another ‘yet’, am I assuming right?” she assumes, one hundred percent correctly if everything goes well for Ni-ki, which he doesn't know for sure, because he skipped a few steps in his relationship with Jungwon. One of which includes asking him out.

“Mom, listen,” he begs her and hopes that the baby voice he puts on somehow also delivers the puppy eyes he's making through their speakers, “He just called it co-parenting, I’m sure it's only because that’s the closest word for it. I didn't sign any adoption papers, and he's not my boyfriend. I just get to… properly parent her now while I’m watching her without overstepping any boundaries.”

“Ah, so it's complicated,” she sums up. She really didn't have to do it so coldly. What about Ni-ki’s poor heart? “Any plans to change that yet? You're usually not the type to stew in uncertainty. I remember you had to confess to Taki on the same night you realised your feelings—”

“Okayyy, mom,” he can't help but laugh nervously again. Why is she bringing this up now? “That was many years ago and I’m a changed man.”

“So you went to Korea to become a coward instead of a teacher?” she teases him, and that’s just not true!

“Mom!” he whines again, and if Sunghoon and Jake weren't still cracking up on his couch and almost falling off of it, he'd stomp his foot, too. Because that’s what he is. Not a changed man, but a baby in a tall body afraid of looking like one. “It's just—I really can't. Her mother is still alive!”

“So?” his mother taunts him and clicks her tongue in disapproval. What a cruel way to treat her only son who’s trying to be considerate of a single dad’s circumstances. “Is her mother there to stop you?”

A very compelling argument that Ni-ki can’t refute or answer to in any way while still being able to look at himself in the mirror later or sleep soundly at night. It would just be… rude. Wouldn’t it? To force himself into her place without checking in with Jieun and Jungwon—which he technically already did, just not to that extent. Whatever! His mom shouldn’t be enabling him, this is why Ni-ki does crazy stuff all the time. Next thing he knows he’ll be kissing Jungwon and swiping him off his feet because his mother told him it would be a good idea.

“Anyway,” he tries to change the topic, or end the call, really. He doesn’t think he can keep talking to his mom about Jungwon the same way he used to talk to her about Taki. He has outgrown that phase a few years ago, when he finally moved to Korea and moved on. Or something. “I have to make dinner now. My roommates are already waiting for me.”

“Okay,” she says softly, fondness dripping from her voice like honey. She exhales slowly. “Make sure to eat healthy, yeah? Not too many ramen kits.”

“Okay,” he agrees while already knowing that they are, in fact, making the ramen kit she sent him last week. “Bye, I love you, mom.”

Jake and Sunghoon start laughing again. Ni-ki supposes they know all of the Japanese phrasings for “I love you” and find it funny that he still says it to his mom at his big age, but honestly? Fuck them, he loves his mom.

“I love you, too, baby!”

She hangs up, leaving Ni-ki alone in the line for a few seconds before he puts his phone down with a sigh and throws himself onto Jake and Sunghoon on the couch.

“You!” he throws a little baby tantrum, “Why are you laughing at me! I’m just calling my mom like a good son!”

“Yeah but,” Sunghoon gasps through his laughter, clutching his stomach and curling in on himself as he tries to push Ni-ki off of him, “what did she say? You didn’t even tell her you basically adopted Jieun?”

“Oh, of course you understood that,” Ni-ki groans and rolls over them, squishing them further into the couch in his room, “Oh my God, get your own child and tell your mom about that!”

“I’m trying!”

Jake bursts into another fit of laughter.

“Oh, ew!”

Jake dies.

—

Weeks pass like this, and nothing much changes. Ni-ki wakes up, goes to class or gym, picks up Jieun, does homework and eats dinner and plays or reads with her until it’s bedtime, tucks her in, has a second dinner when Jungwon comes home, goes to his shift at the convenience store or goes home and studies until he falls asleep with one of his friends or Jungwon on call.

Hana doesn’t bother Jieun anymore. She makes sure to always be on the other side of the courtyard of her, as far as Ni-ki can see when he goes to pick his parasocially adopted daughter up, and that’s good enough for him. Jieun also never mentions any other incidents to him again, which should be fine. She seems fine, too. Every day that Ni-ki picks her up, she’s happily reading her book and skipping on her way home.

They only run into a problem when Jungwon is basically ambushed while packing up his stuff and getting ready to go home one evening.

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung !

IM BEING KIDANPPED

AND FOECRED TO DRINK

WILL BE HOME LATE

IMS OS SORRY

WHAT

What’s going on hyung ;-;

Sorry

My team wants to go drinking again

I’m so so so sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner

Its okay hahah

Hyung, you already know I don’t have a shift today

I know but :(

Maybe you had plans or something :((((

No plans! :)

I’ll stay until you’re home

Lies. Ni-ki did have plans. He was going to hop on a call with Taki and play Animal Crossing together (to hunt or get hunted by scorpions) in about three hours but he won’t be able to do that now. He didn’t bring his switch, and he doesn’t know when Jungwon’s teammates will let him go home.

He eyes Jieun seated on the floor in front of the couch, happily colouring in a picture book and making her own comic with a full story out of it while Manifesto chases her pen. Well. He doesn’t hate the idea of spending more time with her anyway. Jieun’s been a good parasocial daughter to him.

Private Chat: my riki

Hey

Sorry, I think I have to raincheck today :(

Dad got dragged to team drinking and he wont be home until much later

Aww

No worries

Maybe we can do tomorrow?

Tomorrow sounds perfect

in the morning?

I’ll catch more fish than you

Lol you wish

With that done, Ni-ki puts his phone away and closes his laptop. He’s getting a headache from all the screens, eyes already sore from all the artificial light, and it’s time for dinner.

“Jieun-ah, is there anything special you want for dinner?” he asks her, tearing her out her comic world. “We can order out, too, if you want.”

Okay, so maybe Ni-ki is even more of the fun parent than Jungwon already is. Can anybody blame either of them? Jieun has the face of an angel that needs to be spoiled a lot, and he has some money to splurge left this month. God, imagining her as his real daughter has become almost too real and delusional in the past few weeks.

“Oh, can we order tteokbokki and chicken?” she asks, jumping up in excitement, “Appa orders it a lot when we don’t cook.”

“Sure, that sounds good.”

He places his order and follows Jieun into the kitchen. She already knows how to prepare Manifesto’s meals as well, letting Ni-ki open the can of wet food for her that she dumps onto a ceramic plate and warming it up in the microwave.

“Appa says that I have to take care of Manifesto because I kept her,” Jieun tells him happily. “I’m a big sister now! I’m her unnie, like Yumi-unnie is my unnie.”

“Isn't that nice?” Ni-ki asks her and runs his fingers through her hands, petting Manifesto with the other. “Have you ever wanted to have a younger sister, Jieun-ah?”

“Hm…” Jieun gives it a lot of thought. Ni-ki finds it kind of endearing because he knows that, when he was her age, he’s always wanted a little brother. Instead of his little sister or maybe together with his little sister. Misora is his dear baby sister, after all. Ni-ki can't imagine a life without being the middle child.

“I like my family now,” she decides to say instead of a straight answer. Barely six years old and already mastered the adults’ art of beating around the bush. “But I wouldn’t be sad to have one.”

“That’s a good mindset,” Ni-ki chuckles and pats her head, watching Manifesto’s food bowl spin around in the microwave.

“Appa says we can always be happy to have family,” Jieun nods. She falls silent for the few moments it takes for the cat food to stop heating up and the microwave to beep. With a thoughtful hum, she watches Ni-ki put down the food bowl so Manifesto can eat.

It’s only when they’re seated on the couch again, Jieun seated in his lap and leaning back against his chest, that she speaks up.

“Papa,” she calls out and tilts her head back to look at him with her big, innocent eyes.

“Yes?” Ni-ki pulls them both against the backrest of the couch so they’re somewhat lying down. He throws one of his arms across Jieun’s stomach and gives her a playful tap.

“Where would Appa get a sister from?”

Well shit—

—

Ni-ki doesn’t know how he manages to do it but he can somehow dodge her question and distract her with a cartoon show until she’s almost falling asleep in his arms. Manifesto finished eating and joined them on the couch, curling up into a little kitten loaf in the crook of his neck. In short, he gets to have a snuggle session instead of a sex ed lesson.

Unfortunately for Jieun’s stubborn attitude, she doesn’t manage to stay up until Jungwon comes back, so Ni-ki tucks her into bed a little past her usual bedtime.

“Appa still has to say good night to me,” she mumbles against his skin, snuggling into Ni-ki’s hand as he puts her head down. “Where’s Manifesto?”

“She’s here.” Ni-ki leans down to scoop her up and place her next to Jieun’s head on the pillow. “And when you wake up tomorrow, your appa will be here, too, hm?”

Jieun only manages a groggy, incomprehensible mumble before she falls asleep. Ni-ki does his best not to wake her when he steps out and returns to the living room, sitting down on the floor for better access to the low coffee table and decides to get some of his readings done. He is, after all, still a student and should probably work on keeping his grades up if he wants to graduate in time.

He’s not sure how much time passes until Jungwon returns, only that it’s long after he would’ve stopped playing animal crossing with Taki. With most of his more interesting readings done, all that’s left for him is to fight through the boring ones, and those… drag the time. A lot. It feels like an eternity has passed before the front door opens and Jungwon trudges inside with a plastic bag in his hands.

This time, he can walk by himself.

“Thank you for waiting for me.” Still, he slurs his words a little. But he might just be tired, too. He squints at Ni-ki like he's tired. “Have you eaten? I got bungeoppang.”

“As if I’d ever say no to that,” Ni-ki happily scrambles upright, clearing the coffee table of his study materials and guiding Jungwon to sit down next to him without falling over and hitting his head. “How much did you drink?”

“I managed to distract them enough for only three beers,” Jungwon gloats proudly and plops his plastic bag down on the coffee table, “I didn’t even have to call a taxi this time!”

He tips his head forward to giggle quietly to himself, as if this was some kind of grand scheme he succeeded in. His giddiness is not only adorable but also contagious and Ni-ki can’t help but join him in it, like he’s drunk on Jungwon’s giggly mood. It’s horrible for Jungwon, who, the moment he hears Ni-ki giggling, starts to giggle more, and that, in turn, just makes Ni-ki giggle harder as well.

“Sorry,” Jungwon taps his arm apologetically between his giggly fit, “Sorry, hehe, it’s not even that funny.”

Ni-ki has to cough violently. Jungwon’s hand is still on his bicep, and he’s looking at him with half-lidded eyes. The alcohol flushes his face to an almost alarming red tone. And his mouth is stretched into a wide, dimpled grin, pushing out his round cheeks even more. This is bad. This is really bad for his heart.

‘Fuck,’ he thinks to himself and turns his face away, still coughing, ‘He’s so cute!’

It doesn’t help that Jungwon is always adorable and so, so sweet to him. He stops his giggles but only to make Ni-ki’s situation even worse for him. His hand slides from his bicep to his back to pat it, but it only makes Ni-ki cough harder because, ‘Oh god, he’s touching me!’

“You okay?” Jungwon asks him, his worry laced with fondness that Ni-ki would expect from a lover and not… not Jungwon. Because they’re not lovers. Yet.

“Yeah,” Ni-ki manages between coughs and lets Jungwon’s slap almost topple him forward. Oh no, he’s cute and strong! “Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry.”

“Need some water?” Jungwon offers him and finally peels himself off Ni-ki’s back to hurry to the fridge in the kitchen before he can say ‘yes’. The bag of bungeoppang moves from side to side, dangling off his elbow wildly as his steps sway. And so does his— “Here, some water.”

He’s back at Ni-ki’s side in no time, holding a bottle of water up to his face. His brows are knitted in concern and wow, he’s actually got some really pretty eyebrows.

Ni-ki takes the bottle of water, but only so he finally has a reason to turn his eyes away from Jungwon as he greedily gulps up the water until the entire bottle is empty. He coughs again when he lifts the bottle off his lips and smears the back of his hand over his wet lips to catch a few stray droplets, and it feels like he’s coughing up his lungs.

Who knew having a crush take his breath away was meant to be taken literally?

“I’m okay,” he croaks awkwardly and tries to ward off Jungwon pushing his face closer to Ni-ki’s and being all up in his space. Which is, again, not helpful at all but he can’t tell him that! “I’m okay. Bungeoppang?”

Jungwon nods and steps away but only hesitantly. He stumbles backwards, gaze fixed on Ni-ki still as he keeps coughing and keeps making him worried. It’s only when Ni-ki gives him an awkward thumbs up that he nods and turns his back to him. Jungwon heats up the bungeoppang in the microwave while Ni-ki stumbles back to the couch, a few last coughs wrecking through his body, and flops down with a defeated groan.

It must be the sleep-deprived delirium that has him acting like a fool. Yeah, that’s it. Ni-ki’s usually calmer than this, especially around his crushes. The last time he had feelings for someone—he rushed into a confession, sure, but after that, he was just a boy with a boyfriend. There wasn’t this… this burning in his lungs.

On second thought, that might just come from all the coughing.

“How was today?” Jungwon calls out to him from the kitchen, staring into the microwave to watch their snack spinning. “Did Jieun behave?”

“An angel as always,” Ni-ki answers truthfully. He lifts his head off the backrest of the couch to watch Jungwon watching their food. He, again, finds the sight adorable. Jungwon looks really excited. “Though, she wanted to stay awake until you come home and say goodnight to her.”

In an instant, his excitement has completely left his body. His shoulders slump. He looks tired.

“She doesn’t like sleeping without me in the apartment,” he mutters quietly. “Probably some abandonment issues? Wouldn’t surprise me. Can’t blame her. Her stupid mother left, who says I’m not the next to just up and go?”

“You wouldn’t do that,” Ni-ki immediately cuts his rambles off. “We had this talk before. You decided to stay. Every day, you decide to stay. And you’ll keep doing it because you love her.”

Jungwon stays quiet. He stares at the microwave but his gaze is distant, contemplative.

It seems to take forever before the microwave finally pings, announcing their freshly reheated snack. Ni-ki stares at Jungwon, anticipating. Surely, they won’t end this conversation like this, right? The topic is left awkwardly hanging in the air, like some stinky smell he can’t get rid of, overpowering the mouthwatering smell of the bungeoppang.

Ni-ki can only hear the baked dough hitting the plate Jungwon prepares for them before his footsteps quietly pad over the floor.

“I just want her to grow up knowing that, too,” Jungwon tells him with a heavy sigh and sits down—right next to Ni-ki’s stomach. Because he’s sprawled over the entire couch and Jungwon decides he needs to lean in close and stare at Ni-ki.

‘Oh,’ he realises, ‘This is why people say I stare too much.’

“Like, you didn’t grow up like that, right?” Jungwon asks him, unsure. He shifts uncomfortably, sliding his butt back until it meet’s Ni-ki’s side. When he doesn’t answer because Ni-ki’s just too slow of a thinker, he just shakes his head with another sigh and pats his chest. Fuck. “Sorry, I’m an emotional drunk. Let’s just eat.”

Jungwon bends over, stretching his arm to reach the bungeoppang where he placed them down on the coffee table. He freezes when Ni-ki eventually does speak up,

“She knows you love her. I think she’s just clingy. I still miss my parents and I was the one to leave.”

He swallows drily. He hopes nobody will ever tell his housemates because they’d only make fun of him. But soon enough, he adds,

“Because I love them, you know?”

Jungwon hums quietly, taking his first bite and grabbing a second bungeoppang. He turns back around to Ni-ki with a smile tugging at his lips.

“Makes sense,” he tells him sincerely and taps the snack on Ni-ki’s lips. “Thank you, Ni-ki. It really means a lot.”

“No problem,” he says against the sweet dough and carefully takes the tail between his lips. Jungwon doesn’t pull back. He just… holds it. Holy shit, is he really feeding Ni-ki during this raw, emotional moment between them? “Uh, I can—I can hold it myself.”

“Oh.” Jungwon seems to finally realise what he’s doing for Ni-ki. What he’s doing to Ni-ki. “Yeah, sorry. Wanna watch TV on the lowest volume?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Jungwon leans back until his neck rests on the backrest, effectively laying down on top of Ni-ki. He’s warm. Really warm. He can hardly focus on whatever Jungwon chooses for them, nibbling on his one fish until it’s cold between his fingers but so stupidly warm in his stomach.

His crush is laying on top of him. Ni-ki can feel his spine dig into his side. He’s so warm. And he wriggles until he can find a comfortable position on Ni-ki’s stomach.

Thankfully, they don’t watch TV for long. Jungwon’s head lolls to the side every few seconds, and his long eyes  flutter shut. His hands rest on his stomach, fiddling with the buttons of his dress shirt in slow, sluggish movements.

Needless to say, Ni-ki tucks in his second Yang of the day.

—

Ni-ki’s studying behind the counter. Well, he’s trying to. Jay uses up an awful lot of space for a subject he really doesn’t need all these textbooks and notebooks open and occupying pretty much every free space on the counter. Every space except for the one where their customers get their stuff scanned.

Not that they have to scan a lot of items today. It’s a very slow Saturday, even for the two of them. The shelves are fully stocked, the inventory has been checked multiple times already, and they’ve checked the expiration dates on all of their groceries. There are no customers. They have absolutely nothing to do except schoolwork, and Jay looks like really needs it.

He’s not even studying at this point. At least, Ni-ki doesn’t think he is because his head is just resting on top of the textbook as if he hopes that his brain can simply soak up the knowledge through his skull. Occasionally, a half-dead noise escapes him, something akin to a guttural grin or the moan of a dying animal. Maybe Ni-ki should check if he’s still alive… Who else will write him his pay checks but Jay? He doesn’t think Heeseung has ever done it.

“Stop poking me,” Jay grumbles and swats Ni-ki’s hand away from his round cheek. It’s not rounder than Jungwon’s though. “Keep your grubby hands to yourself!”

“My hands aren’t grubby,” Ni-ki mumbles and pulls his hand away to inspect it. No. His fingers are long and slender. A little calloused from all the drawing he does. But aside from that, they’re perfect hands. Unlike Jay’s, whose hands are a little chubby and, when balled into small fists, disappear in his sweater paws.

Just like Jungwon’s.

They fall into a bored, dead silence again. There isn’t much to catch up on. Ni-ki has already updated Jay on all of his progress with the Yang family, Jay has expressed his hesitant support for him, they talked about whatever Heeseung last  did to make them laugh during their shift, and that’s it. Neither of them want to start complaining about schoolwork because once they start, they’ll never stop. And they should probably get some of their work done.

Not that there’s much to do for school, too. Jay excels in his studies because it’s either all or nothing for him, all the time, and Ni-ki has finished most of his readings and essays Friday night because he made it his goal to relax on the weekend and maybe go to the gym with Sunghoon again.

Long story short; they’re utterly bored out of their minds.

“Wanna build a house of cards?” Jay asks him, ever the bad influence on Ni-ki.

“No thanks.”

Genuinely, he could think of more fun things. Like, text Jungwon, or daydream about marrying into his family and adopt and play with Jieun and Manifesto all day. Play Animal Crossing with Taki. Call his mom and let her nag him for unofficially adopting a daughter and have Jake and Sunghoon overhear them exchange ‘I love you’s. Watch a drama with Sunoo.

On second thought, maybe he should only do one of those things.

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung !

Hey :)

How’s your hangover doing?

Terrible

I think my head hates me

And Manifesto hasn’t stopped screaming

Jieun’s playing with her

Save me

I would

But Im stuck at the convenience store :(

Noooooo

My savior :((

Anyway

Sorry about yesterday again

Hyung, its really no problem!

You were very easy to carry ^^

That’s not what im talking about…

But yeah, thanks and sorry for that too

Anything I can do to make it up to you? :)

Can you save me from work

Would jay hyung even allow that lol

I can ask…

!!

If he says yes lets go on a picnic?

Jieun saw it on tv this morning and is deadset on having one now lol

Ill definitely ask

“Hyung.” Ni-ki has never been more serious as he grabs Jay by the shoulders and turns him to face him. “You gotta give me a two-hour break. Right now.”

“You can have thirty minutes,” Jay shoots him down immediately, deadpan. He just killed Ni-ki and his chance for a date with Jungwon, and he didn’t even hesitate. Shot him straight through his heart. He’s dead now.

(Well, he has been, since page six of this poem he’s reading but that’s unimportant.)

“Please!” Ni-ki whines and falls to his knees, clasping his hands together in a sort of prayer. “Jungwon-hyung and Jieun want to go on a picnic and I just got invited!”

Jay doesn’t say anything for an awfully long time. He just stares at Ni-ki, blinking his big eyes at him innocently, and taps his finger on the counter. Is he—he’s thinking about letting Ni-ki go, right? Surely, he’ll say yes. His family’s on the line here!  This is torture!

“Fine.”

“You’re the best!”

Ni-ki jumps to his feet, throwing himself into Jay’s arm with a gleeful laughter. Success!

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Jay huffs and pats his back encouragingly, wrapping his arms around Ni-ki’s back, “Just take what you want and go. I’ll suffer by myself or something.”

Ni-ki has never left his position behind the counter faster in his life.

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung !

Jay hyung let me go !!

Do you want me to bring the snacks?

He told me to raid the store empty heheheh

He did not say that lol

But yes, bring anything you can think of

Lets rob them blind >:)

Ni-ki has truly found his soulmate in him. It’s written in the stars and they came down on the very same night that he first met Jungwon and told him themselves. And this, this is the perfect chance to put all of their emotionally awkward messes behind them and just chill and hang out and play with their daughters—

He’s going to die from happiness before he even steps out of the store.

—

Ni-ki decides to take a taxi to their meeting spot at the Han river. It saves time, and his bag is too heavy to skate with it anyway. The only disadvantage is that he’ll have to live off of frozen food and almost expired convenience store instant food for the next two weeks.

He pays the driver more or less enthusiastically—it really pains him to see his money go like that—and shoulders his backpack. It was hard to zip up with all of the snacks inside, so there’s still a little gap in the zipper that threatens all of his stuff inside to spill out. It doesn’t help that he only has one free hand. His other is gripping his skateboard tightly, ready for his ride back without having to pay more money.

But whatever.

“You got this, Ni-ki,” he mutters to himself and claps his hands to his cheeks. The pain somewhat helps to re-focus his mind. He’s on a mission.

Jungwon and Jieun are already waiting for him.

It’s pretty easy to find them amidst the mass of people. Their picnic blanket is a bright red, more eye-catching than a traffic light, and Jieun is dressed in pure white.

They’re both lying down, splayed out over the entire picnic blanket with their eyes closed and their heads propped into their arms for a nap. Manifesto is resting belly up between them, all four of her legs stretched out and away from her belly as far as her little kitten legs can stretch. None of them notice when Ni-ki walks up to them, the snacks in his back jostling and rustling.

It’s only when Ni-ki leans over Jungwon, casting a shadow over his face, that he cracks one of his eyes open to squint at him.

“Hi,” he chirps at him happily and sits up, crossing his legs to make space for Ni-ki to sit down next to him. The picnic blanket isn’t big, so they have to squeeze in the space that Jieun and Manifesto leave them. Ni-ki feels unusually hot when he realises that, despite their best efforts, their knees touch. “Wow, you brought a lot.”

“Don’t be too happy,” Ni-ki scoffs, “Jay made sure I only took stuff that expires today or tomorrow.”

“That’s fine,” Jungwon shrugs with a wide grin and pushes his sunglasses up into his hair. He looks… manlier without bangs obscuring his face. Hot. Goddammit. “It’s still edible, right?”

As if Ni-ki would ever risk poisoning his co-parent and parasocial daughter and her kitten.

“Of course it is,” Ni-ki boasts and places his backpack on his lap, pulling it open with a smirk, “Here, check it out.”

Ni-ki’s not sure what he wanted to achieve with this. Honestly, he most likely just wanted Jungwon to see the amount of snacks that would’ve otherwise gone to waste. It definitely wasn’t his goal to make Jungwon lean his head into Ni-ki’s space, basically press the back of it right into his cheek, just to peer into his backpack.

His fluffy, shiny hair smells just like the very same 3-in-one shampoo that Ni-ki uses because it’s always on sale with a thirty percent discount, making it the cheapest in Heeseung’s store. No way. This has to be fate again.

“Oh nice,” Jungwon wriggles happily and stuffs his hand into Ni-ki’s backpack to rummage for a rustling bag of lightly salted fry cut potato chips. He leans back and rests his weight on one arm, dropping the bag of chips into his lap with a wide grin. “These are my favourite.”

‘Hey.’

‘Don’t say anything.’

‘Does he know—’

‘No. He doesn’t know, and he doesn’t need to.’

‘—that those are—’

‘Don’t say it!’

“Those are Japanese, you know?” Ni-ki tells him. Because he’s an idiot. And also Japanese. He can easily play this off as something like national pride. Yeah… Yeah, that’s way less stupid than asking, “Do you like Japanese? Am I your favourite, too?” because he’ll certainly never recover from that.

“Nice.” Jungwon nods happily and rips the bag open. The crackle of the plastic wakes Jieun from her nap. Like a sleeper agent, she abruptly sits up and twists her upper body to greet Ni-ki.

“Hi, Papa!” she exclaims and crawls over so she can shove the backpack away and sit down in his lap. “Is it Monday?”

“Hii, Jieun,” he greets her back with a giggle and wraps his arms around her so she doesn’t fall off. “Just a Saturday. Appa said I can join your picnic so I came. Aren’t you happy?”

“Super happy!” she exclaims and smushes her cheek against his chest. She’s so cute. If his marriage plan with Jungwon fails, he’ll have to find another way to adopt her. Although… he does really hope the marriage plan doesn’t fail. That’s Plan A after all, with the advantage that he’ll also be married to Jungwon. “Missed you.”

…

Now, what the fuck is Ni-ki supposed to say to that? He’s dying from cuteness aggression here,  he’ll only be able to respond in an incomprehensible mumble that will probably end in an embarrassing squeal. She’s just so cute. Jieun’s so cute, and he missed her so much, too, even though it’s been less than twelve hours since he left the Yang apartment.

In the end, the best he can manage is a quiet ‘Thanks’ and patting Jieun’s head. He was so distracted by the little girl that he only notices Jungwon’s curious gaze when he has to look away from Jieun before he pinches her round, chubby cheeks and coo at her.

It’s a mistake, to look away from Jieun. Because now, Ni-ki has to face more cuteness that he can’t look away from because Manifesto’s also woken up and ready to terrorise Jungwon’s socked feet. She’s barely managed to get up on her four wobbly legs before she’s pouncing on Jungwon’s socks, biting into his toes with a cry. Jungwon doesn’t seem to mind. He wriggles his toes to shake her off but when she doesn’t immediately tumble back from her lack of balance, he just lets her nibble on him which is, again, so fucking cute.

God, why can’t Ni-ki just be a real part of this family.

He’d provide all the snacks and ‘free babysitting’ services (which wouldn’t count as babysitting anymore because Jieun would just be his real daughter) and tuck Jieun into bed with Manifesto, wait for Jungwon to come home to have a midnight snack with him and then tuck him into bed as well before he’d eventually slip into the very same bed. They could have picnics every warm Saturday, and lazy Sundays and busy workdays. Together, just like they are today.

They hit the jackpot with the weather today. The sun is beating down on them from the cloudless sky. Its light reflects off the water surface of the river, almost blinding Ni-ki every time he wants to look into the general direction of it. Still, there’s a fresh breeze that cools them down just enough to not have them sweating from simply sitting in the sweltering heat.  

But Jungwon looks so good with beads of sweat rolling down his forehead.

“Can I have a snack, too?” Jieun asks him, pointing at his backpack where all sorts of snacks and drinks are spilling out. Ni-ki looks down to her with a smile and strokes a hand over her head to smooth down some flying hair strands.

"Of course you can," he tells her and pulls the backpack closer to her so he won’t have to get off his lap, “Here, pick anything you like but don’t eat too much. You still have to have dinner later.”

All in all, it’s a fun afternoon. In fact, Ni-ki has so much fun eating snacks with Jieun and Jungwon, playing with Manifesto and losing at a card game that Jieun comes up with on the spot where she constantly changes the rules that he completely forgets the time. He’s been gone from the convenience store for much, much longer than the two hours he requested from Jay. And he doesn’t realise the sun is setting and his phone vibrates with a new message.

Private Chat: hamster hyung

Where are you

You have double shift with me today

Ni-ki???

Omg did you die

Jay only told me you left and didn’t come back

NI-KI

I DON’T WANNA TRAIN A NEW EMPLOYEE

Omfg

Im so sorry

I lost track of time

Ill be right there!

Pls

The first alcoholics have arrived

I wont survive alone

Ni-ki stuffs his phone back into his pocket and looks at Jungwon and Jieun. They’re seated opposite of him, snacking on more Japanese snacks and sharing a bottle of milk tea that Ni-ki brought. Manifesto’s hopping back and forth between them, chasing the feathery toy that Jungwon dangles in front of her.

It pains him to leave them so soon again. If he had a choice, he’d never leave—if allowed, of course—but alas. Duty calls.

“I have to go,” Ni-ki announces soberly. Jungwon and Jieun simultaneously freeze with the exact same expressions on their cat-like faces, only further accentuated by Manifesto’s actual cat face having a kitty equivalent of the look on it. Gosh, they’re so cute. “Sorry. Gotta get back to the convenience store.”

“Aw,” Jieun mumbles sadly and lets her shoulders slump forward. She drops Manifesto’s toy just as her smile drops. Ni-ki is a horrible parent. “You come back on Monday?”

Ni-ki doesn’t trust himself to verbally confirm so he just hums with a nod. Jieun deflates like a popped balloon and quickly crawls her way over to Ni-ki across the picnic blanket to wrap her little arms around him in a tight hug. He returns her embrace, even if she’s gotten a little sticky from sweating in this heat, and pats her back.

“You just have to sleep twice and then he’s back,” Jungwon tries to reassure her, scooting on his butt until he can stretch his arm out and pat her on the back, too. His hand brushes Ni-ki’s. “He’ll be back before you know it. Or…”

He glances up at Ni-ki and hesitantly pulls his hand away from Jieun.

“You can’t take a second break for dinner, I assume?” he asks, and Ni-ki has to shake his head. No. No! Torn from his family dinner because of work. It’s a truly cruel world.

Jungwon slowly pulls Jieun off Ni-ki’s lap. She complains with a quiet whine, as if it physically pains her to leave Ni-ki alone but she still lets him prop her up in his own lap. Once seated, she crosses her arms with a pout and huffs petulantly.

“See you then,” Jungwon bids him goodbye and wraps a hand around Jieun’s wrist so she can limply wave at him as he packs up his backpack and gets ready to go. “Say bye, Jieun.”

She only grumbles something that sounds like a goodbye. Ni-ki isn’t sure but he’s not so mad about it that he can’t laugh it off. He doesn’t really want to go either, so he totally understands. Jieun just has the luck that she’s allowed to express it.

“See you guys on Monday!”

[+]

Jungwon knows he might be overstepping here. But Jieun was complaining during the entire way home that she doesn’t want to wait ‘two full days’ to see her papa again, and even Manifesto joined her in her whining.

And he… well, he also feels like seeing Ni-ki again.

It’s already past Jieun’s bedtime. Usually, Jungwon tries to get her into bed on time even on the weekends because she’s still growing and needs all the sleep she can get. That, and she gets grumpy when he wakes her up before she can get her full eight hours of sleep in, and he really doesn’t want to mess with her sleep schedule. But she insisted on coming, so Jungwon had to accompany her. It’s only the responsible thing to do.

So here they are, standing hand in hand in the door of the convenience store. Jieun is grinning brightly, almost triumphantly even because, yes, Jungwon gave in and lost to her. Manifesto is perched on top of her shoulder, clawed into the fabric of the light jacket Jungwon made her wear over her white dress so she wouldn’t get cold once the sun sets.

Don’t misunderstand. Jungwon is also happy to be there but the most he can manage is a shy smile when Ni-ki notices them standing in the door and gasps out loud.

“Hello, papa!” Jieun exclaims and rips herself free from Jungwon’s hold, rushing behind the counter with a skip to her step, “Hii, Heeseung-oppa!”

“Jieun!” At least Heeseung doesn’t seem to mind that Jungwon brought her along to raid his store for a convenience store dinner along the other drunk customers. He seems delighted when he picks her up by the armpits and twirls her around. “Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

“Appa let me stay up longer.” Jieun giggles happily and wraps her arms around his neck. “He wanted to come here and see papa.”

What.

He’s not sure why but his gaze immediately flickers to Ni-ki to catch his reaction. His eyes are widened in surprise after Jieun just threw her own father under the bus—he did not insist on coming here—but other than that… it seems to be a pleasant surprise at least.

“I, uh,” Jungwon stammers and awkwardly scratches his neck. Ni-ki’s eyes are boring into him. Crap. It’s really not like Jungwon insisted on coming, he just suggested it because he thought it would get Jieun to stop sulking. That’s the truth! “I felt too lazy to cook. Hyung, can you make us ramyeon?”

Heeseung immediately disappears in the back. He carries Jieun with him, refusing to put her or Manifesto down, which leaves Jungwon alone… With Ni-ki.

The other man is hardly suppressing his smirk threatening to split his face.

“You missed me that much?” he asks him, and Jungwon knows he’s just teasing him. He can tell by the mischievous glint in his slanted eyes.

Even then, Jungwon—for some reason he doesn’t want to dwell on—takes a shaky breath and says,

“Yeah, I did.”

Chapter Text

“Yeah, I did.”

The words still echo in Ni-ki’s head hours later, haunting him, terrorising him. They’ve been keeping him up until the sun is already rising. He’s been awake two whole nights already, and he just knows that he’s not about to go to sleep any time soon. 

Jungwon said it so casually. So nonchalantly, like it’s not a big deal at all despite his sincerity. He just admitted to having missed Ni-ki like it was nothing. Like Ni-ki should’ve already known that the answer would be ‘yes, I did’ and expected Jungwon to confess to that. Like any other answer was out of question because there was only one possible reply to his joking question. 

He didn’t even look embarrassed by his honesty. 

‘He missed me,’ Ni-ki thinks to himself for the third time in the past, what, ten minutes. ‘Jungwon-hyung missed me.’

He really doesn’t know what to do with that knowledge. Because the truth is, he didn’t know it before. Ni-ki was just joking! It was supposed to be a joke and instead, he was met with a sort of sincerity that he didn’t expect when he really should’ve known better. 

Jungwon and he, they’ve been honest with each other a lot recently. Not to the extent that would prompt Ni-ki to confess to his crush but honest enough that, of course, Jungwon wouldn’t be ashamed to admit that he was missing him. Apparently. 

Ni-ki doesn’t even remember how he responded. If he tried to act cool and joke around some more, maybe tease Jungwon for that silly feeling—although it’s not silly, not at all, because Ni-ki had missed him, too—or if he’d embarrassed himself so badly that his brain decided it was better for his pride and dignity to just block out the memory altogether. 

“Hey, Ni-ki—” Sunghoon cuts himself off the moment he steps into his bedroom and spots him splayed out on the floor like a starfish. A dying starfish. 

He gapes at him, speechless. 

Ni-ki can only turn his head weakly and blink at him. He doesn’t trust himself to speak without his voice breaking just yet, not when the memory of Jungwon shyly smiling up at him is still so fresh on his mind. 

God, he wasn’t just cute the night before. He was adorable, and Ni-ki does a great job at adoring him even now. 

“Oookay.” Sunghoon slowly exits the room again, shutting the door close as he carefully retreats back into the hallway. His eyes never leave Ni-ki like he’s expecting him to jump up any second and run at him at full speed to pounce him. “I made porridge and Sunoo’s whipped out the milk tea from the freezer. Come get breakfast when you’re… alive.” 

Ni-ki’s dead. He’ll just have to skip breakfast for today because he died and it was Jungwon who killed him. Not even the promise of a cozy breakfast can revive him, he’s just that dead. 

He’ll have to skip class for today. With Jungwon still on his mind the way he is, echoing, haunting, he won’t be able to focus at all. He’ll need the whole morning to get his shit together so he can at least be normal when he has to pick up Jieun. 

Then again, he probably shouldn’t skip class. They’ll discuss material that will come up in their tests later, and he’ll probably have to know some of it for his state examination. 

“And up we go,” he mutters under his breath and pushes himself up on his arms. 

Better pull himself up by the bootstraps sooner than later so Jieun can have her normal papa instead of an insane papa. That, and his hyungs must be worried about him, too. He’s been laying on the ground ever since he came back Sunday early in the morning and hasn’t moved a millimetre since. 

His stomach makes that well known with a loud rumble that it’s been over twenty four hours since he last ate something. Oh dear. Thank god Sunghoon has already gone downstairs again and couldn’t hear that. 

It’s probably that very same hunger that has Ni-ki feeling so hollow and empty on the inside. He hopes it’s just his hunger for food and not his yearning for Jungwon’s proximity. 

He stumbles into his bathroom and decides against a shower. With how weak his knees are, he’s more likely to collapse under a hot steam of water than actually manage to scrub himself clean. Then again, a cold shower might just be what he needs to wake up and get shocked back into reality. One that doesn’t constantly repeat “Yeah, I did” to him.

Holding his hand under the cold stream of water to check that it’s really cold enough to shock his nervous system and hopefully reboot it, Ni-ki has to pull his hand back with a quiet hiss. Yep. Definitely cold enough. 

But even standing under the cold shower doesn’t help his case a lot. 

All he can do is compare the freezing water to Jungwon’s warm smile, and his slightly sweaty hand patting Ni-ki on the shoulder as he dismisses his off-handed comment with a chuckle and a, “Sorry, sorry. Too honest?” 

That just made it worse. 

That confirmed to Ni-ki that he really did miss him, and that his answer to his joking question was the truth. And it’s weird that he was so freaked out about it. Ni-ki’s all for emotional vulnerability and being honest about feelings because, and that’s what he likes to think, it’s healthy and good. 

But he’s pretty sure that he almost died on the spot when Jungwon said that. He’s still feeling the aftereffects of it, like his words have stained his skin and buried themselves deep into his being. 

He turns off the shower, dries himself off and puts on clothes. His hair is still dripping wet and getting water all over the floor and stairs as he sluggishly drags himself to the kitchen. His poor roommates, who still have no idea why Ni-ki’s acting this way, can do nothing but stare at him like he’s some kind of bizarre freak show for their entertainment and shock. 

“Is he okay?” Sunoo asks as if Ni-ki wasn’t sitting right next to him and capable of hearing him. He’s right about it, in a way, though. Ni-ki can hear him—he just can’t respond. 

Sunoo’s voice sounds like it’s coming from underwater. Or maybe Ni-ki is the one underwater, and Sunoo’s looking down at him, at his floating body, from above the water surface. It blubbers in Ni-ki’s ears, and he has to put all of his focus on his voice to register it. It takes him even longer to fully process what he asks but by then, the conversation has already continued and the voices of his other roommates overlap. 

“I don’t think so.” 

“Yeah, I did.”

“He looks like he hasn’t been sleeping?” 

“Yeah, I did.”

“Oooh, trouble in paradise?” 

“Yeah, I did.”

“Nah, more likely just stress. The exhaustion must be catching up to him.” 

“Yeah, I did.”

“How many hours does he sleep anyway?” 

“Yeah, I did.”

“Probably like… three? Two?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Even though he got the room with the least noise in the house.” 

“Yeah, I did.”

“Hah! All of the noise comes from him either way.” 

“Yeah, I did.”

Ni-ki blink owlishly as he tries to keep up with what they say. Jungwon’s voice in between is distracting, disorienting. He’s almost tempted to turn his head and see if his hyung is somewhere in the room with them but that can’t be. Jungwon should be at home, with Jieun, a very long and seemingly endless bus ride away from Ni-ki. 

If he misses him right now, too? 

He shakes the thought away. He shouldn’t get too hasty and ponder on it. After all, if Jungwon was really missing him, he could always just shoot him a text. 

“Dude, your egg.” 

Ni-ki looks down. Somewhere in his daze, he tried to pick up a poached egg with his spoon and it’s now slowly slipping off, dripping in this weird, fluid but also not way. 

“Oh.” 

His voice breaks with this simple syllable. He hasn’t used his voice in so long, and he’s honestly parched from not drinking anything for so long. It’s been so long that he almost forgot what his own voice sounds like, his memories overtaken by Jungwon. 

“Oh, he reacted!” Sunghoon cheers and claps his hands in celebration as he laughs. In delight, or mockery, Ni-ki actually isn’t too sure. 

Ni-ki puts his spoon down again and lets his poached egg slide back onto the pile of rice in his bowl again. He blinks at it owlishly, It kind of looks like Jungwon—

No. No. Bad Ni-ki brain. 

Now is not the time to think even more about Jungwon. He has to eat, catch up on sleep, and do his coursework. He promised Taki they could play Animal Crossing together before he has to go to work again, and if Ni-ki hurries, he might even get a full hour of playing in. 

Animal Crossing feels like his saving grace right now. 

There’s truly nothing better than digital fishing and chasing bugs and hitting Taki’s character with a net to take his mind off things and destress. His fossil collection is almost finished, and the season has switched to autumn by now, which means more fish and bugs that he can collect now. And he should unlock the diving suit soon… 

“Man, I’m starving,” he announces, more to himself than his roommates, and shovels the first spoonful of food into his mouth greedily. 

No more Jungwon for now. Only Animal Crossing, studying and work. 

—

“No way.”

Taki cackles loudly after Ni-ki finally finished talking. 

So, it turns out, not even his Animal Crossing session is safe from Jungwon. Ni-ki just couldn’t let it rest until he’s vented out to Taki while they chase each other in the sea now that he finally did unlock a diving suit, and it took him approximately a full lap around his island to catch Taki up with his… crush life. 

Taki actually doesn’t know too much about Jungwon and everything he and Ni-ki have discussed and gone through in the short time they’ve known each other. Ni-ki tries his best not to share too much private information about Jungwon with people who can’t meet him personally and he’s… he’s a bit embarrassed by all of the more emotionally intimate talks they’ve had. But Taki should be filled in enough to know that this is a huge deal to Ni-ki, and that he will annoy everyone he knows with it (except for his mom because that’s even more embarrassing) until something else, something crazier will happen between him and Jungwon. 

At the very least, Taki knows that Ni-ki is crushing hard and he doesn’t seem too bothered by it considering that Ni-ki is, well, his ex. 

“That was flirting, you know that, right?” Taki asks him. 

Even worse, he actively encourages and enables Ni-ki. Can’t he at least pretend to be upset that Ni-ki’s moving on three years after their breakup?! 

Either way, he's glad that at least Taki isn't making fun of him or tired of Ni-ki venting to him. He already knows that, once he tells his roommates, Sunoo will roll his eyes and Jake and Sunghoon will tease him for his little ‘baby crush’ and tell him that he's ‘growing up so fast’. The other people he can tell about this would be Jay and Heeseung but that will have to wait until later and Ni-ki needs to talk about it now.  

“It really wasn’t,” Ni-ki dismisses him. Not because he doesn't believe him but because he doesn't want to believe him. If Taki’s speaking the truth, then what’s Ni-ki supposed to do with the implications of that? 

“Wasn't this Jungwon guy supposed to be in denial about his feelings for you?” Taki—Ni-ki miscalculated—teases him and coos, “Aww, what happened to you? You used to be so bold!” 

That was over seven years ago! This is different! Ni-ki isn't suffering from eighth graders’ syndrome anymore, and Jungwon isn't his middle school classmate, and he's not someone Ni-ki spends basically all of his free and less free time with. 

Besides, Ni-ki has become more… subdued. A little less crazy. He actually tries to think before he does stuff now, and it just so happens that this is something he might've thought about for too long. By now, he's completely overthought it, and the anxiety of all this thinking is paralysing. Taking off to spontaneously confess to Jungwon is too… risky. Crazy. Ni-ki is getting all of the signals and trying to block him out because—what if he's misreading them? Maybe it's just a Korean thing. Ni-ki still needs his job as babysitter. 

The disadvantages of trying far outweigh the advantages. 

“Ni-ki?”

Oh. He must've started thinking again instead of answering Taki. 

“Sorry,” Taki immediately apologises softly once he realises that Ni-ki's been affected, “It’s not the same. I totally get why you're more hesitant.” 

“I mean,” he protests weakly, “I don't really want to. But I don't even know if he's into guys, like. Surely, the biological daughter didn't come from another man, you get what I mean?” 

“Maybe he's undergone surgery by now?” Taki supplies and, okay! Fine! Yeah, that could be a possibility. It's not that unrealistic but what are the chances of that happening? 

“Okay, but he couldn't have been an underage trans man when he was giving birth, could he?” Ni-ki wonders. This is too much. He's very comfortable in his body, and he's never wondered about it like this. “Like, that would need parental consent and Korea’s not exactly the most progressive. They don't even have marriage licenses!” 

“But isn't your boss married to another man?”

“My boss was also born in America. Probably got married to some white man by Elvis Presley in a Vegas drive through.” 

“Why is it—Hey, stop diving!—why is it Elvis Presley anyway.”

“No clue. Or was it Micheal Jackson?”

“What, you gonna take Jungwon to a trip to Vegas and get married by a fake MJ?” 

… It's certainly a tempting idea. 

Somehow, the conversation derails from there because Ni-ki would rather die than get married in Vegas—when Beverly Hills exists, hello? Taki argues that Ni-ki isn't famous enough to get married in Beverly Hills, and somehow, they always manage to come back to sharks, shark cages and whether either of them would survive a shark attack(?) (the answer to both is ‘no’) no matter where they started. 

So. Needless to say, Ni-ki has to hurry to work. 

Thankfully, he slams into Sunoo on his way to their main door and he offers to give him a ride because Sunoo's not only nice, but he has to get to town anyway. He might as well just drop Ni-ki off. 

“No.”

“You're literally starting the motor right now?”

“Answer’s still no.”

“Aaand we're driving.”

The door locks automatically as Sunoo pulls out of the driveway—with Ni-ki on board. 

—

“Isn’t that flirting?” Heeseung gasps and grabs Jay’s shoulders to shake him while he stays frozen in his grip with his mouth hanging open in shock and his eyes raised up to his hairline. “Jongseong-ah, isn’t that flirting?” 

“Where were you during that?!” Jay bursts, basically exploding out of him as he turns to Heeseung and grabs him back. “Hyung, did you teach him that?!”

Okay, it might’ve been a bad idea to tell the both of them about what Jungwon said at the same time. Ni-ki’s not even sure why Jay’s here, it’s supposed to be his weekend off, but now that he is, he’s freaking out over basically nothing. It’s not Heeseung’s fault that Jungwon is… more or less flirting with Ni-ki, and he’s also pretty sure that Heeseung wouldn’t have been able to stop Jungwon from saying it if he had been there. 

“Why me?” Heeseung shrieks in protest and wraps his arms around Jay to pull him into a desperate hug like they just survived a ship wreckage. “You—You are the emotionally open one between us!” 

Ni-ki doesn’t get it. Is this really such a big deal? 

Like, yeah. They’re now the second and third people who said that Jungwon was apparently flirting but it doesn’t really mean anything unless it comes directly from Jungwon anyway. And even then, it took Ni-ki out for a full day. Or two. He didn’t really keep track of time. 

“I’m not a flirter!” Jay bickers back and shakes Heeseung again, “That’s you! Did you teach him that?” 

“He did that by himself,” Heeseung counters, “I was in the back with Jieun.” 

“You left him unsupervised?” Jay cries out. Ni-ki could almost think that he was talking about him and not Jungwon since he’s usually so widely regarded as the baby among his friends. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have told them. Jay and Heeseung are a lot closer to Jungwon on a private level than they are to Ni-ki, and they might bring it up to him next. He really hopes they won’t. Because then, Jungwon will know that Ni-ki’s still talking, still thinking, about it and that’s just embarrassing. 

“Anyway,” Ni-ki awkwardly clears his throat and sheepishly takes a loud sip from his strawberry milk, “ I have to catch up on schoolwork later, so is it fine if I just go to the back after ten pm?” 

“Why don’t you just go home?” Heeseung suggests and gives Ni-ki a pat on the shoulder, “Just grab stuff that expires next week instead of your pay.” 

That works out fine for Ni-ki as well. He nods enthusiastically, accidentally hitting himself in the face with the straw of his milk box. 

At this point, he’s just glad that Jay finally shuts up while he has to process his shock and Heeseung gets to work. Ni-ki’s allowed to stay behind the counter for today, manning the cash counter together with Jay. Heeseung, however, has to run around and tend to the shelves today. 

At least he seems to be having fun with it. Heeseung basically dances and prances through the shelves like a deer in a flower field or a mountain clearing as he blasts his music over the shop speakers and sings along. Ni-ki can only watch as he feels a headache start to grow. This is going to be a very long day. 

“Hyung?” he carefully calls out when Jay still hasn’t moved. Ni-ki is already finishing up his strawberry milk and taking out his school stuff but Jay is still frozen in shock. “Is everything… Should I call an ambulance?” 

“It’s okay,” he waves off. His voice sounds strange. Distant. Robotic. His eyes are glazed over until he blinks rapidly and meets Ni-ki’s gaze. Then, they suddenly sharpen, as if Ni-ki was someone to keep a very watchful eye on. “I’m okay. This is just… Sorry. I’m a bit protective of Jungwon, I guess. But! I mean, I know you’re a good kid. It’s just a shock to me that Jungwon’s so… open with you.”  

Ah.

As expected. Ni-ki already suspected that Jungwon isn’t someone who likes to show himself very vulnerable. It was more of a hunch, really, because Jungwon has been very open with him but other than that, he always seemed to act… strong. Reliable. Responsible. Which he is, of course, but there’s only that much one can take. 

“To be fair,” Ni-ki laughs awkwardly and rubs his neck, “I think I’ve been forcing him to have a lot of uncomfortable conversations. Regarding Jieun.” 

“Ah.” Jay takes it as it is. He doesn’t seem to question it, like this was enough to explain the situation to him in full. Or maybe he doesn’t even need to understand the full situation to be able to care. Either way, Jay just plops down on one of the stools with a sigh and lets his head drop. “Yeah, okay. Parenting stuff. Always hard.” 

“Yup,” Ni-ki agrees. It has been difficult, living with all this doubt and insecurity. He’s been so unlike himself ever since he met Jungwon, and he’s not sure if the change was for the better. Obviously, he doesn’t regret meeting Jungwon but he came into his life like a whirlwind and wrecked the peaceful, borderline confident life he’s been building for himself here. “Anyway, I think we don’t have anything else anymore to discuss so we should be safe for now.” 

He sighs deeply. It’s only now that he realises how exhausted he is from overthinking. Or from the lack of sleep. 

“You’re both lost causes,” Jay snickers under his breath but he lets Ni-ki rest his head on top of his textbooks and take a nap. Really, only one job could be better. 

—

Monday comes almost too soon. 

Ni-ki’s nervous just picking Jieun up from her preschool, and that’s nowhere close to Jungwon coming home from work yet. Regardless, he’s jittery and nervous, and the skateboard he’s got tucked under his arm is shaking slightly in his weak grip. The grip tape chaves against the jeans over his hips, and he’d be more concerned if he wasn’t so hyperfocused on the gates to the preschool. 

He’s not even late today. His last professor dismissed class early, and he even managed to stop by a little store and buy some snacks and candy for him and Jieun to share because he’s the fun dad. 

“Papa!”

Jieun spots him the moment he rounds the corner and enters the school grounds. She’s sitting on top of the chairs as always but without a book today, waving at Ni-ki before he gets up on her feet and runs up to him with her arms outstretched. 

She wants a hug!

Ni-ki’s worries are quickly forgotten, and he drops his skateboard just as fast so he can catch Jieun when she throws herself at him. 

“Hii!” he exclaims, and his voice cracks. “Did you have a fun day?” 

“I did!” She immediately babbles away about everything that happened and everything she thought about what happened. Ni-ki almost forgets that she left behind her backpack, and so does she, so they quickly go back to the stairs to grab it. At one point, her words blur together into a continuous stream of words that Ni-ki struggles to follow but he still tries his best to at least catch the key words. 

The unbearable summer heat beats down on his head. His pounding headache makes it hard to hear. 

Jieun says something about a ‘reading challenge’ and ‘reward’. 

“Oh, what’s the goal?” he asks her. 

“We just have to read a few books in a week,” she confirms and grabs his index finger as they stop at a red light, “And whoever reads the most pages gets a prize!” 

Ni-ki has the weird feeling that Jieun has an unfair advantage over her classmates. She’s already well-read, and Jungwon actively encourages her to read even more books even if they might not be age appropriate for her. 

“That sounds great!” Ni-ki swings her arm back and forth between them. Jieun giggles happily and swings harder. “So I guess we won’t paint today?” 

“No,” she denies grimly and shakes her head. Still, she tries to be empathetic towards Ni-ki and his now crushed dreams of being artists with her today. “Can you ask appa if he has any new books he can bring me?” 

“I don’t think you can bring those to school,” Ni-ki tells her. Nevertheless, he digs around in the back pockets of his jeans for his phone. “I’ll ask him.” 

“Yay!” 

She lets go of his finger to do a little jump to express her excitement and for a second, Ni-ki’s afraid she’s going to stumble backwards and fall onto the road but she quickly latches onto his leg and wraps her arms around his knees. 

“Let me just text your appa real quick, okay?” he asks her, and she gives him an affirmative nod. 

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung ! 

Hii

Hope youre not busy

We’re taking a quick break

Why? 

Is everything okay? 

Yeah, we’re fine

Just picked up jieun

She has a reading competition and wants me to ask if you can bring her more books

Oh!

Yeah, i can do that :) 

I got like three newly published ones ready

And a bunch of others

Nice

See you later then?

You ask that like you can leave before i come home lol

Oops hahah

Right

See you later then! :)

Byeee! 

“He’ll bring you some books later,” Ni-ki updates Jieun and pockets his phone again while he looks down to her. They missed a green light because he was texting but she doesn’t seem to mind, patiently waiting for Ni-ki to finish. Gosh, she’s seriously such a good kid. “But no staying up late. You’ll have to read the books at home for now.” 

“Okay!” she agrees easily and raises her arm to grab his index finger again, “Can we buy snacks?” 

“Oh but,” Ni-ki giggles mischievously which makes her look up to him in confusion, “I already bought snacks!” 

Jieun breaks into another cheer. Children are so easy to make happy. 

—

Jungwon returns from work just half an hour after Ni-ki managed to tuck Jieun into bed. 

She tired herself out by reading as fast as she could while also telling Ni-ki about everything that happens in her book—she retains surprisingly much for flipping the page every few moments—and distracting him from his own reading, which means he got basically nothing done. Not even sending her to bed helped because Manifesto was napping since Jieun didn’t pay her any attention and decided to take a nap. And then, after she went to bed, Manifesto decided to get the late-night zoomies and terrorise Ni-ki while he was just trying to keep the apartment in one piece. 

“Hii!” Ni-ki greets him, distracted from chasing Manifesto around the living room before she knocks something over or, even worse, crashes into a piece of furniture and hurts herself. “Welcome back!” 

“... Hi?” Jungwon giggles in confusion as he just stands there, letting the door fall shut behind him, and watches Ni-ki. 

He can’t even freak out over seeing Jungwon again because he’s so busy trying to catch Manifesto. This should be a horrible moment for him and give him a heart attack but instead, Ni-ki just realises once again that he should really work on his stamina. 

When he does eventually stop to catch his breath, gasping desperately like a fish on land and holding himself up by resting his hands on his knees, Jungwon is still standing in the entryway. He has a beige book bag slung over his broad shoulder, weighed down by what must be a bunch of heavy books. His hair is wild and dishevelled like he ran here from the bus stop, but other than that/regardless of that/ because of that, he looks as breathtakingly beautiful as ever. Which really doesn’t help Ni-ki’s case because he already is out of breath. 

Ni-ki decides to focus on Jungwon’s book bag. 

“Neat,” he heaves between words, desperate for any little amount of oxygen he can get into his lungs, “Jieun will be so—so happy.” 

Manifesto meows loudly from the top of the couch. However and whenever she managed to get on there. But at least she seems to agree with Ni-ki. And then, she hops off the couch, tumbles to the ground with a loud outcry, and runs up to Jungwon. He bends down, dropping his book bag to the floor with a loud, dull ‘thud’ and picks her up in one hand. 

“I hope so,” Jungwon chuckles lightly and scratches Manifesto behind her ears. She immediately goes limp and pliant in his hold, which is just unfair favouritism. “Got all the new kids books they released in the last month.” 

He toes off his shoes and steps further into the living room. This time, he doesn’t have any snacks to share with him, so he must’ve come straight from the bus station. 

“Will you be staying for some snacks?” Jungwon offers, “Or do you have a shift?” 

“No shift,” Ni-ki immediately denies and eagerly watches Jungwon come closer with his heart beating up in his throat. Oh. Oh no. He’s so cute. “And Jake-hyung’s probably not done with studying yet.” 

“Cool,” Jungwon says, and it’s so awkward. For Ni-ki. Jungwon seems to be just fine with this, as if unaware how much he’s changed their dynamics on that Saturday night. “You wanna watch a movie? I think we still have some snacks in the cabinets.” 

Ni-ki can’t answer. Not yet. 

With nothing distracting his eyes to focus on—except for Manifesto in his pretty hands—he has to look at Jungwon, and it’s not good for his heart. Jungwon’s shirt is looser than usual. It’s neatly tucked into his jeans, and he’s wearing tight ones at that, too. The whole look just accentuates his broad shoulders and ridiculously small waist, and Ni-ki’s just a bisexual man. It’s even worse when Jungwon turns to the kitchen and tugs at his shirt to pull it out of his jeans as he skips over to the cabinets and accidentally flexes his arms while doing so. Can’t he take it easy on Ni-ki?! 

“What snacks do you want?” he asks him, and it takes Ni-ki a while to process his words properly. “I got shrimp crackers and regular chips, choco pie, roasted seaweed, some strawberry pepero—”

Ni-ki definitely can’t have the last one. If he loses it for just a short moment in which he isn’t careful enough, he’ll end up biting the other end of the stick that Jungwon will be snacking on. That’s too dangerous. But he also can’t have seaweed because—what if Jungwon initiates something like… like a kiss, and his mouth will taste like it, or it gets stuck between his teeth? The safest option is clearly—

“Choco pie?” he timidly demands and watches Jungwon none too happily take it out of the cabinet with a hum. 

Okay, saved. 

“Good choice,” Jungwon tells him and turns his head to Ni-ki first. He’s grinning proudly, almost smugly even. “I got these with a twenty percent coupon. They were super cheap.” 

He passes by Ni-ki without a single glance back and plops himself down on the couch with a satisfied sigh that resembles a typical ahjussi-exhale. Which is funny because he’s only twenty-two. But also weirdly attractive. Or maybe it’s Ni-ki who’s just weird. 

A little stunned, Ni-ki follows Jungwon to the couch and tries to sit as far away from him as possible. It turns out to be quite a difficult task because Jungwon, being comfortable in his own home, sits in the middle of the couch and Ni-ki takes up far too much space on the end of the couch for their knees to not touch. 

Manifesto immediately takes her chance to climb out of Jungwon’s hands, crawling her way down clumsily at the front of his shirt until she can fall into his lap with a loud but happy meow. 

Jungwon is clutching the little pack of choco pie to his chest but is quick to extend his arm towards Ni-ki, bumping the knuckles of his hands against Ni-ki’s chest. He doesn’t react to the touch, so neither does Ni-ki. Externally. Internally, he’s screaming, crying and throwing up. 

“Here,” Jungwon tells him, “Oh, and, can you get the remote?” 

“Yeah, of course.” Ni-ki has to push his hands slightly away from his chest—another touch that sends him reeling over the edge—and leans forward to grab the remote from the coffee table in front of them. “What movie do you wanna watch?”

“Hm,” Jungwon hums contemplatively and pushes the first choco pie past his pink, cute lips, “Or maybe not a movie. Just whatever’s on TV right now?” 

They settle on a random variety program. It’s a survival show for dancers and—wow, everything just reminds Ni-ki of his long abandoned passion—it’s actually pretty interesting. Jungwon bops his head to the rhythms of the songs they use and he even wriggles his feet on beat. 

Ni-ki just keeps watching curiously because Jungwon is on beat. Incredibly so. In fact, his toes hit every beat, and musicality basically flows through Ni-ki’s veins, pumping alongside his blood to his… well. To his heartbeat. 

“You got good ears,” he points out, blurting the words out. He didn’t mean to comment on it, especially not when Jungwon freezes at being called out and his toes just rigidly points up to the ceilings in surprise. “Uh, sorry. It’s a good thing!” 

“Oh, yeah, it’s…” Jungwon hesitates, laughing sheepishly. His foot starts to move again but not for long. The group on screen finishes their performance and it’s now time to get judged. “It’s a bit embarrassing but I almost went to a dance school when I was fifteen before, uh… Before Jieun.” 

What can of worms did Ni-ki open up this time?

He can’t help but break into a sweat. The way this is going, Jungwon will tell him about his dreams before he learnt that he will become a father, and then he’ll tell him about everything he had to do to be a father. And while all of that really interests Ni-ki—he’s basically dying to know once he realises that this would be the perfect chance to ask and learn more about Jungwon—it’s too soon! He still hasn’t recovered from that ‘Yeah, I did’ and he won’t survive another showcase of Jungwon’s trust in him. 

“That sounds nice,” he croaks awkwardly. Time to change tactics. Today, it’s Ni-ki’s turn to overshare. “My parents have a dance studio.” 

Jungwon immediately perks up at that. Maybe because Ni-ki’s talking a little about himself and he wants to get to know him, maybe because he just really liked talking about dancing. Ni-ki won’t question it any further. 

“I used to,” he has to laugh at the memory, “I used to give lessons at, like, twelve years old. It was kind of funny. Some students used to be older than me.” 

“You dance?!”

Maybe it was a bad idea to tell Jungwon about his past after all. He perks up even more now, sitting up straight and leaning towards Ni-ki with clear interest showing in his body language. His whole body screams ‘Tell me more!’ and Ni-ki never thought he’d ever bring up his past hobby. There’s a reason why he chose art over it, even if the reason is a little stupid. 

“I used to,” he corrects him sheepishly, “I, uh, I stopped to study Korean instead.” 

“Wow.” Jungwon collapses back into the couch with a smile. He seems perfectly satisfied with this little tidbit about Ni-ki. “That’s still pretty cool. You must’ve studied well. Not even Jay-hyung speaks Korean as good as you, and he’s been here for over a decade now.” 

Hearing the praise come from Jungwon’s lips does something funny to Ni-ki’s stomach. He did study really hard, behind propped up school textbooks in middle school, during class when he should be studying something else. It’s not like he hasn’t been praised for his Korean. He does speak it well, and he does it well enough to be confident in his teaching ability. But hearing it from Jungwon feels different. 

He can’t help but laugh, embarrassed. 

Private Chat: Dad hyung

Are you done soon

Pls

I’m opening up about my embarrassing past

Save me from myself?!!

Are you showing him the videos on your moms facebook

NO????

Dont give me ideas!!

Just hurry and pick me up ;-;

Just a bit more

Im almost done

Hang in there little man!

UR little!

Jungwon thankfully doesn’t notice his little breakdown. Ni-ki really doesn’t need to be that obvious with his crush! But he can’t do anything but let his cheeks heat up while he tears his gaze away from Jungwon’s side profile and brings it back to the TV. 

[+]

Ni-ki leaves too soon. 

Well, he actually leaves pretty late at night, but Jungwon would’ve loved to spend a bit more time with him. It’s fun, watching the show together and seeing him react to a cool move. 

“Just once!” Jungwon pleads him, laughing, “Here, I can move the coffee table—” 

“No!” Ni-ki gasps. It’s cute to see him so flustered for once and with so much colour in his usually pale face. He laughs nervously, taking a tiny leap backwards to flee the living room. “I really don’t—I mean, I still dance sometimes but not like this!”

He gets saved by his phone ringing. 

Jungwon can barely suppress his pout because he really wanted to see Ni-ki copy the move. Maybe even improve it. But it can’t be helped. 

“Getting picked up?” he guesses and watches Ni-ki dive for his phone to accept the call. 

“Yeah, probably,” he mutters and raises his phone to his ear. He doesn’t put the caller on speaker but his volume is turned up high enough for Jungwon to still overhear him. “Hello?”

“I’m outside,” the caller tells him, “Don’t take too long.” 

The call ends right there, cut short by the caller hanging up on Ni-ki who is left stunned for a few moments. He blinks, dazed, before he shakes his head. 

“I, uh, I gotta go,” he announces sheepishly and turns back to Jungwon with a sad, pitiful face. 

This might be where Jungwon almost loses all of his professionalism—not that there’s much left of it anyway—and invites Ni-ki to stay the night. But he has classes tomorrow, and he looks like he could use a good night’s sleep. 

Maybe he should’ve picked a more boring program so Ni-ki could ‘accidentally’ take a nap. 

“Okay.” Thus, Jungwon lets him go. He picks up Manifesto from the floor so she won’t run out of the door and follows Ni-ki to the entryway to bid him a proper goodbye. “Let’s not call today? You look like you need some sleep.” 

He knows he’s shooting himself in the foot here. Jungwon has gotten too used to falling asleep on call with Ni-ki that it’s now almost impossible to do so without. He learnt that during the weekend after he was too embarrassed to call him because of… Saturday. Ni-ki’s just been feeling so safe. It’s hard to hold back sometimes. 

Jungwon should really show some more self restraint when it comes to him. He just reminds him of—

“I, uhm, okay,” Ni-ki agrees quietly and ducks his head to put on his shoes. This way, Jungwon can’t see his face. He just hopes that Ni-ki doesn’t feel rejected by it after he just opened up to him about his childhood. “Good night, Jungwon-hyung.” 

“Good night,” he parrots back and opens the door for Ni-ki. “I had a lot of fun tonight.” 

Ni-ki turns his head with an oddly alerted look on his face. His eyes flicker across the room, then just over Jungwon’s face. He’s frowning a little. 

“Yeah,” he then says softly. His shoulders slump. He smiles at him. “Me, too.” 

Chapter Text

Somehow, Ni-ki manages to go through several weeks without embarrassing himself. Which doesn’t sound like a huge achievement but ever since he met Jungwon, this is actually a huge deal! There were no more awkward talks about their pasts, no more serious conversations about parenting methods or boundaries, and no more accidental naps. 

He doesn’t have to sleep over anymore, and Jungwon seems to be able to escape his team’s drinking nights every time now. Which means that he comes home just before dinner and Jieun’s bed time, and Ni-ki can go home right after he washes up for them while Jungwon tucks Jieun into bed. None of his roommates leave him stranded in the city, away from home, and he doesn’t arrive too late to his shifts anymore. 

Ni-ki also sleeps better now. 

Who knew that being assured in his position and his role in his crush’s life would be this comforting. Even Sunoo pointed out his sudden burst of confidence that he’s previously lost, and it’s embarrassing. Ni-ki didn’t think that he’d been that obvious. 

“You weren’t,” Sunoo tries to comfort him unsuccessfully. Ni-ki doesn’t believe him, self-consciousness heating up his face in the passenger seat of Sunoo’s car. He’s holding tightly onto the assist handle every time Sunoo takes a sharp turn—and he takes a lot of those—but nothing makes him feel more unsafe than being grilled like this. He feels exposed, cut open for the whole world to take a look at his exposed heart. He’s never been good at hiding what he feels but this is horrifying. “I’m serious! We only know because you keep talking about it.” 

That’s even more embarrassing!

“I really didn’t mean to talk that much about it,” Ni-ki mutters and shakes his shoulders to rid himself of a little discomfort. Obviously, it doesn’t help much. “Sorry.” 

“Please,” Sunghoon waves him off nonchalantly and hits Ni-ki’s character on screen with a blue shell. “I talked about my crush back then so much that our friend had to tell me to stop. I was a lot more annoying than you.” 

Like that’s reassuring to --Ni-Riki. 

“Besides, it's cute,” Sunoo adds and snacks on a bag of chips that Jake extends towards him. Not that he'd have to stretch his arm a lot, they’re sitting squished together as four on a three-seater couch. “I thought you’d be heartbroken over Jake-hyung forever.” 

“I wasn't—” Ni-ki's protests with an offended gasp, clutching a hand over his chest defensively as if Sunoo was trying to break his heart now. And then, he sees the playful, seemingly innocent grin on Sunoo’s face and knows. He's just playing with him. Ni-ki sinks into the couch again with a halfhearted grumble. “Guys, come on. My crush wasn't that bad…”

Except it was. And he knows it was because, in hindsight, he was a little crazy, a little obsessed. But just a little. Which is already more than usual. 

Obviously, everyone knew about his puppy crush on Jake. To his defense, he didn't try to make a big secret out of it anyway but the main reason why everyone knew about it was because Ni-ki is anything but subtle in his affections. Never has been, still isn't and never will be. A tall body comes with a big heart for a reason, okay? And for Ni-ki, it's to make sure all of his limbs and organs get enough blood pumped into them—and so he can smother other people with it, be it platonically or romantically. 

Taki sure never complained. 

Then again, Taki was just as affectionate, if a little less embarrassing maybe. They were teenagers, wasn’t all affection kind of weird? Especially as first time boyfriends. 

Either way, Ni-ki knows when his affections become too much. He might be a little oblivious sometimes but he can take a hint. All it took was for Jake to lay his eyes on Sunoo, lighting up like the morning sun on the first spring morning of the year, and that had been it for Ni-ki’s crush. It didn’t hurt because it really wasn’t that bad. Just really obvious. 

Jungwon probably knows about his silly feelings for him as well and is being just as gracious about it as Jake had been. 

Hopefully. Ni-ki wouldn’t know what to do with the possibility that Jungwon doesn’t know. Nobody has never not known about how Ni-ki feels about them. He couldn’t be more obvious! 

“It was kind of bad,” Sunoo reminisces with a soft, nostalgic sigh, “I almost didn’t ask Jake-hyung out because you looked like a kicked puppy.” 

Okay. Ni-ki has no recollection of looking like that whatsoever. 

“And Jake looked like a kicked puppy because you almost didn’t ask him out,” Sunghoon cackles gloatingly and throws his head back. He reaches all the way over Ni-ki to shove his hand into the bag of chips that Jake is still holding. They really should’ve gotten more snacks. “It was so funny to watch.” 

“Only for you,” Jake grumbles and pushes Sunghoon’s character off the road to which he replies with a yell, “Whoever your partner is, they probably suffered just as much with you.” 

“No, he didn’t,” Sunghoon sniffles undignified and raises his nose pertly, “I just said what I needed to, and now we’re married. No drama, no doubt. Only love.” 

“And that’s why we’ve seen them sooo often around here, hm?” Sunoo teases him, “What? Does he go to a different school?” 

“He does, actually,” Sunghoon deadpans, catapults himself to the front and overtakes Ni-ki’s character like it’s nothing even though he was just in the back. Somehow, he manages to win this round and they decide, yes, that’s enough Mario Kart. Sunoo and Jake still have to go on a date, and Sunghoon agreed to go to the gym with Ni-ki again. This outing is much needed, it’s been too long since Ni-ki had the time to go by himself. 

They stay seated on the couch for just a little longer, deep in thought. 

He’s not sure what Sunoo and Jake are waiting for. Probably for the flashbacks of their dramatic love confessions to finish. 

Sunghoon, however, has no reason to still be sitting. Just like Ni-ki. 

“Let’s go?” Sunghoon suggests and motions to Ni-ki’s open bedroom door as a cue to leave. Ni-ki nods lazily. Because that’s how he feels right now. Lazy. Neither of them moves for a few seconds longer. 

Eventually, Sunoo moves first. He climbs off the couch and stretches his arms over his head, popping a few joints and cracking some knuckles. With an outstretched hand, he helps Jake get up as well and pulls him to his feet before both of them decide it’s high time to terrorise Ni-ki and Sunghoon until they flop to the ground with shrieking laughter. 

“We’re up!” Sunghoon gasps through his laughter and curls up to protect his body, “We’re up, we’re up! Stop!” 

—

“Did…”

Ni-ki hesitantly steps closer, fiddling with his own hands as he waits for Sunghoon to drop down from the pullup bar and turn around to meet him with a questioning look on his face. He raises an eyebrow to let Ni-ki know that he’s listening. 

“Did your partner know you were on live with him before you told him?” 

Sunghoon doubles over to clutch his stomach as he laughs. Rude. But it’s not like Ni-ki can get mad at him for that. If Sunghoon’s already married by now, then he must’ve confessed way back when things weren’t as complicated. That, and… It’s uncharacteristically unlike Ni-ki to be this unsure of himself and where he stands. 

He waits for Sunghoon to catch himself before he starts shuffling on the spot. It’s so unbearably awkward, waiting for an answer. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. 

“I’m pretty sure he didn’t,” Sunghoon chuckles lightly and runs a hand through his slightly wet hair. Some of the strands remain stuck to his forehead. “But he was… he was even less obvious about it, and that’s what made me insecure. He’s usually very open about his feelings except for… when it comes to this. Like, there’s a difference between really liking someone and loving someone. So it was pretty scary.”

“And now you’re married,” Ni-ki concludes dumbly. Sunghoon nods reassuringly. 

“And now we’re married,” he parrots proudly and grins at him, “So don’t worry. It’s always worth a shot, especially if you had some other emotionally vulnerable conversations.”

“I just…” Ni-ki mutters and lowers his gaze. Something about the earnestness in Sunghoon’s eyes just makes him more insecure. “I just don’t want things to be awkward between us, I guess. I really like him, hyung, but I just don’t know where we stand. And things have been so chill lately…” 

“All the more reason to talk about it,” Sunghoon eggs him on softly and nudges him with his elbow with a fond chuckle. “You’re both big boys. You got this.” 

“Yeah,” Ni-ki agrees quietly.” 

—

Except he really doesn’t ‘got it’. 

Ni-ki realises it about two weeks later when Jungwon comes home early for once, hands full with bags and bags of more dumplings. 

It’s already way past Jieun’s bed time and she’s been neatly and lovingly tucked in by Ni-ki himself, just as she asked of him because she’s her one and only papa. Only Ni-ki and Manifesto have been awake for the past two hours or so, and Ni-ki, against his better judgement, decided to play with the kitten instead of study. And with play, he actually means ‘feed her some of his yoghurt because she kept begging for it’. 

He whips his head up from the coffee table, staring at Jungwon entering with wide eyes. Manifesto tries her best to do the same but, unfortunately for her, her head is stuck in the cup of yoghurt. She cries out in despair, which goes unacknowledged by both Ni-ki and Jungwon alike. 

“Hii!” Jungwon chirps happily and shuts the door behind him with a light kick. He dangles the bags of dumplings high in the air as if to show off his loot from an adventure. “I got us food again.” 

Ni-ki can only squeak in acknowledgment, an embarrassing sound he’s been making a lot lately every time Jungwon returns home and he still has to gain his composure from seeing him again after a few hours. It's been weeks since he's talked to Sunghoon about his… problem and so far, he's made no progress on it. He doesn't think he’ll do it anytime soon, he's just not bold enough. Yet. Surely, he’ll muster up the courage in due time. 

Today is not the day. 

“Ahjumma’s too nice,” Ni-ki comments with a pleased smile and follows Jungwon to the kitchen, leaving Manifesto behind on the coffee table. Her head is still stuck in the yoghurt cup so she can't follow. Oh well. Too bad for her. 

“She’d just have to throw them away,” Jungwon shrugs nonchalantly and puts a plate of dumplings into the microwave to heat them up. He taps his arm and wraps his cardigan around himself, tightening it around his small, squeezable waist. “Kind of like your looting at Heeseung-hyung’s store.” 

He swivels around on the tip of his toes to face Ni-ki with a proud grin before he fingerguns him, like an uncle. Or Jay. 

Ni-ki can't hold back the chuckle at that. Yeah, he definitely got that gesture from Jay. 

“It's getting colder these days,” Jungwon points out and walks over to join Ni-ki at the dining table. His gaze flickers to Ni-ki's bare arms, exposed by the lack of sleeves on his shirt. “Shouldn't you start wearing a jacket?”

“I have a hoodie in my backpack,” Ni-ki replies and covers his arms, embarrassed. Read: he feels oddly exposed by Jungwon's intense stare and he still doesn't quite know what to do with himself under his heavy gaze. It's like he's not wearing anything at all—Anyway. “I’ll wear it later. Unless you want me to cover up modestly?” 

His question is accompanied by a playful lilt, only further accentuated when he tilts his head towards Jungwon and flutters his eyelashes at him in faux innocence. Jungwon's reaction is funny. He flinches back, not in disgust like Ni-ki sas afraid for the blink of a second, but because he's flustered. The apples of his round cheeks turn a deep colour, a lovely bright pink. Cute. Adorable.

“Hyung,” Ni-ki giggles and pulls back again, covering the lower half of his face with his hand, “Don't make that face. I’ll squish you.” 

It takes a lot of self control of Ni-ki for him to hold back. It gets even worse when Jungwon puffs up his cheeks to blubber in embarrassment, scolding Ni-ki halfheartedly for his ‘threat’. 

“I’m still your hyung!” Jungwon complains and plops down on the chair with a huff. He crosses his arms over his chest, and the movement stretches his shirt over his pecs and—wow. Just wow. Ni-ki should really go to the gym more often again if he wants to keep up. Jungwon doesn't even have the time to work out so, from where?! Life's so unfair. “Hey!” 

“Sorry, sorry.” His apology would probably mean more if he could just stop giggling. Unfortunately for them, Ni-ki and Jungwon alike, he can't. Especially not when Jungwon's eyebrows furrow cutely and his cheeks somehow get even rounder. “Ah, hyung! Stop making that face please!” 

As if to agree with him, Manifesto cries out loudly. It’s muffled by yoghurt because her head is still trapped but it's loud enough that it makes Jungwon and Ni-ki burst into giggles. 

He's giggling. What is he, a lovesick school boy? 

(Well, technically, yes. He does still go to school but as a man. A man!)

“Anyway,” Jungwon clears his throat, still giggling slightly, “I’ll start dressing Jieun in some warmer clothes, too. Please make sure she wears a jacket on the way home.” 

“Of course,” Ni-ki complies easily. It’d be bad if Jieun caught a cold on his watch and got sick. 

Just then, the microwave beeps. Their dumplings are done heating up. Jungwon immediately jumps up from his chair at the sound and hurries over to the kitchenette, a little skip in his step. Ni-ki can't stop his gaze from wandering, moving from Jungwon's broad back down, down, down to his butt. 

It’s perky and, to his defense, Jungwon seems to push it out more as he arches his back, putting it into the main focus of Ni-ki's field of vision. No. Bad Ni-ki. What does it matter that Jungwon sways his hips? Staring is still rude. 

“Is half fine?” Jungwon asks him, back still turned to the dining table as he carefully plates the dumplings, carefully picking up each one with his chopsticks. His slender fingers hold the metal gently, elegantly, as if he's afraid to break them. Ni-ki wants to know what it would feel like to wriggle his own between the knobs of his knuckles and slot their hands together in a warm hold.

“Yes please,” he answers absentmindedly, still staring as Jungwon continues to plate their late night snack slash dinner. 

He returns to Ni-ki soon enough, turning on his heels with both of the plates balanced on his palms like a waiter and a wide grin stretching over his face. His dimples pop as, yet again, his cheeks round out. 

“Here we go,” Jungwon hums happily and places one plate in front of Ni-ki. He counts the dumplings. He has one more than Jungwon. “Dumplings à la microwave.” 

He giggles lightly, and the sound will follow Ni-ki to his dreams, just as it usually does. He's dreamed a lot about Jungwon, probably because he keeps falling asleep while on call with him. But even if they skip their nightly calls, Ni-ki dreams of him. That’s how bad his crush has gotten. 

In his dreams, Jungwon is just like right now. Kind, considerate, caring. Manly, despite his cute face and round haircut. Ni-ki never knows whether he wants to pat his head or pull him into a nearly violent makeout session. 

And so, so adorable. 

If Jungwon was just a little more outgoing, had the time to meet more people, he’d be adored by more people than just Ni-ki. He's sure of it. 

“Thank you, hyung,” he mumbles sheepishly and stuffs the first dumpling into his mouth before he can say anything stupid. It's a bad idea, of course, because they're steaming hot. Especially on the inside. “Ow!” 

“Careful!” Jungwon laughs. He's such a bundle of joy despite, or maybe even because, of his circumstances. Ni-ki feels warm all over. Jungwon is such a wonderful person. He hopes he gets to laugh a lot. “They were technically still warm when I heated them up, you know?” 

“I… I know,” Ni-ki mutters and sticks out his burnt tongue to cool it off. It helps a little when he inhales sharply, letting the cool air brush over his tongue. “Ouch…” 

Jungwon giggles yet again, and Ni-ki really, really doesn't know what to do with himself anymore. 

Something about Jungwon renders him completely useless, helpless. He's never been this nervous about bringing up something regarding his emotions before, and he knows it's stupid to be this shy. At the same time, he doesn't want to ruin anything between them. If Jungwon were to reject him and let him go as Jieun's babysitter, as her papa, they’d never get to see either of them again. And then what? Will Jungwon be stressed about having to balance childcare and his job? Will he hate Ni-ki for putting him into that situation or will he be just as forgiving to him as to Jieun's mother? 

Too many bad outcomes, not enough evidence that Ni-ki will get to stay. He can't do it. Not now. Thankfully, something else draws Jungwon's attention away from Ni-ki for the moment. 

Manifesto has managed to free herself from the yoghurt cup with a triumphant meow, circling the plastic cup with her tail held high and her butt wiggling with every step. She's still wobbly on her feet and a little clumsy but she seems to have enough balance to tap the yoghurt with a cry. Her face is completely covered in white yoghurt, 

Jungwon laughs again. 

“Manifesto!” he exclaims, curling up and clutching his stomach as he coos, “Aw, baby.” 

Ni-ki's stomach flips. 

‘Can you chill.’

‘He said baby.’

‘Not to us. Please chill out.’

Ni-ki does, in fact, not chill out. If anything, he completely loses his shit. Internally, of course, but he still does. He clutches his chopsticks helplessly as he watches Jungwon get up from his chair again and trudge over to Manifesto on the coffee table to pick her up. She goes limp in his hold, obedient and pliant, the same way Ni-ki would react if Jungwon were to ever hold him. 

Jungwon is grinning at Manifesto when he raises her to his eye level and meows back at her. It’s like they're having a conversation Ni-ki couldn't be able to be a part of even if he tried. Mainly because he doesn't understand meowing but also because his brain is buzzing. 

He doesn't process any sounds, not even incomprehensible ones. He's not even sure if they're comprehensible to begin with but it doesn't matter much to him, not in this state. 

Ni-ki isn't even sleep deprived or anything. He's been sleeping like a baby, dozing off to Jungwon's soft chatter coming through the speakers of his phone with a slight crackling. And still, something is gripping his intestines as if to hurl him around in a circle like his insides are the arms of a doll. It's dizzying. 

But most of all, it's annoying. 

It's not his first time experiencing this type of frustration with himself. If anything, the feeling settles in his chest like an old friend barging into his house while he isn't home and getting comfortable in his bed with their outside clothes even though he just changed the sheets. All while he's out practicing dance moves or trying to uselessly study Korean, unable to figure out how to read certain hangul! 

He wants to tug at the strands of his hair to pull them out of his skull, giving himself bald spots that would maybe hurt enough to snap him out of his weird daze and back into the reality where Jungwon is—

looking at him. 

Grinning at him, to be specific. 

With Manifesto clutched tightly and safely in his hands, Jungwon has turned back to Ni-ki and is looking at him expectantly, like he’s supposed to do something right now. The question is, just what? 

“Uh,” he responds dumbly and blinks at Jungwon, confused, “Sorry, what was that?” 

“She’s dirty,” Jungwon repeats (?) and holds her up to Ni-ki’s face. And he’s right. Manifesto’s really dirty. White yoghurt drips off her face in small droplets, falling to the floor and collecting in a tiny, very suggestive puddle. Which is just a horrible thing to think about a kitten. 

Ni-ki shakes his head in the hope that it will help his dizziness, which, of course, it doesn’t. 

“I thought kittens aren’t supposed to ingest anything dairy,” Jungwon continues, as if Ni-ki isn’t acting like a fucking freak right now. He moves past Ni-ki on light feet, back to the kitchenette. For some reason, neither of them seem to be able to sit still tonight. “Do I give her a bath or just wipe it off?” 

Unlike Ni-ki, Manifesto tries her best to help Jungwon out and give him a hand… or paw. In her case, it’s actually her tongue. She licks over her snout to the best of her abilities, which isn’t a lot. Her pink tongue is tiny, and it barely reaches past her nose. Unfortunately, the yoghurt is covering her entire head. No matter what, she won’t be able to escape a bath, dry heads be damned. 

Jungwon doesn’t wait for Ni-ki to offer him a suggestion. He just turns on the tap and hold’s Manifesto’s head under the stream of lukewarm water as she cries out miserably and tries to wriggle free. Her fluffy paws flatten to her skin, suddenly turning a lot less fluffy than before. 

Ni-ki can only watch, useless as he is right now. Or today. Or this week. Or the past two weeks. It’s hard to tell how long he’s been like this. 

“Sorry,” he mutters, catching Jungwon’s attention and flinching against his better knowledge when he whips his head around to flutter his pretty eyelashes at him. It’s a stupid reaction. Jungwon’s not a threat to him, physically. Unless they’re talking about his heart. In that case, he might very well be a threat to him. “That I’m being… weird, I mean.” 

Jungwon shakes his head with a soft, forgiving chuckle. He turns his back towards Ni-ki as if to shrug off his concerns and his apology. 

“Just an off day, I guess?” he assumes, and he couldn’t be more correct. Ni-ki might’ve just woken up on the wrong side. “It must be hard, juggling all of your responsibilities.”

It’s laughable how empathetic Jungwon sounds. He’s one to talk about responsibilities.

“It’s no raising a daughter, I can tell you that,” he shrugs off as nonchalantly as he can manage. Which isn’t a lot. His voice cracks. He’s not sure if Jungwon scoffs at his voice crack or at his attempt at being casual and appearing like an adult who has his shit together. “What? What was that noise? You’re judging me!” 

“I’m not!” Jungwon protests but he gives himself away when he laughs heartily. “I swear, I’m not! It’s just… it was funny. That was all. Heh. Raising a daughter isn’t that hard, I guess.” 

It’s nice to hear that Jungwon seems to be more secure in his parental role. After their last talk, Ni-ki was afraid that he’d beat himself up over it forever but it might’ve just been a mood further emphasised by Jieun’s bullying problem. Still, he has to disagree. 

“You look tired,” Ni-ki points out and waits for Jungwon to turn off the tap, rub Manifesto dry in a fluffy hand towel and turn back around to him with a thoughtful expression on his face. “It is hard. Don’t try to minimise your efforts just because it’s something you choose to do. Or have to do, on the more difficult days. Most people our age don’t have kids and they’re stressed out by adult responsibilities. Raising a kid is hard, I think I’ll manage some part time jobs and university.” 

“This isn’t the stress olympics,” Jungwon grumbles and shuffles closer, holding a wrapped up Manifesto burrito to his chest. He plops down on his chair with another huff and flicks Ni-ki’s forehead with a click of his tongue. “Just because I’m stressed doesn’t mean you can’t feel stressed, too. I promise, I know it’s difficult to be a single dad but I can handle it now. I’ve been one for over six years now, ever since…” 

Ni-ki holds his forehead. Not because it hurts or burns where Jungwon’s finger had painfully touched it, but because he wants to facepalm himself. There he goes again, turning a conversation more serious than it needs to be. 

Even Jungwon dulls, slumping in his seat as he trails off into silence. 

“Ever since Jieun’s mom left,” he finishes quietly and sighs. “Sorry, this probably isn’t what you want to talk about.” 

Except he does. Ni-ki really, really does want to talk about it. He wants to learn more about Jungwon’s past, and every burden that he shoulders, just so he can take it off of him. 

But Jungwon is right. This is a conversation for another day, when they’ve emotionally more charged. Not when they’ve been doing so well recently. 

“We can,” he says despite himself, “If you want to.” 

Jungwon hesitates. He holds Manifesto closer, lifting her up to his collarbone so she can nuzzle her wet nose into the crook between his neck and shoulder with a quiet meow. And then, he sighs deeply yet again and shakes his head. 

“Maybe another time,” he declines and cracks a tiny smile at him. “We’ve had some chill time. I don’t wanna ruin that just yet.” 

“Yeah,” Ni-ki agrees and blinks owlishly, “I feel the same.” 

—

“Jay-hyung?”

“Hm?” 

It's been a few days since then. Ni-ki is back at work, during yet another night shift as he's gotten so used to doing. It’s a slow Thursday, slower than usual. He and Jay have enough time to check the inventory in the back for the second time now, that’s how little customers they're having. 

The storage room in the back is stuffy and suffocating. Shelves line the walls and create tiny aisles they have to squeeze through which is difficult for Jay, not for his own size but his butt that’s nearly an entity of its own. Ni-ki can see each and every dust particle flying through the air even though they make sure to clean it every day, visible from the tiny sliver of sunlight that manages to come through the tiny window near the ceiling, nearly not big enough to give the room enough ventilation and oxygen for two people.

Or maybe, Ni-ki just feels suffocated because he's nervous again. 

“You’ve known Jungwon-hyung for a while, right?” he asks him, counting their stock of one type of chips. “Like, almost as long as Heeseung-hyung.” 

“I actually met him first,” Jay corrects him, sticking one of his arms into the shelf so he can tap each package of… something as he counts them, “But we didn’t realise until he came to the store again. I gave him some money.” 

That… sounds kind of concerning. Then again, how much money does Jungwon make? Maybe he had some sort of financial emergency. A fridge that had to be replaced, a broken door, a visit to a specialised doctor for a medical issue. 

Ni-ki’s confused silence seems to be loud enough that it has Jay turning his head back with a smirk. 

“For the taxi fare, silly,” he elaborates and laughs, “He wasn’t begging or anything. Just didn’t have enough cash on him. He paid me back when we eventually met again.”

Somehow, it sounds so much like Jay to give a stranger money for the taxi fare without ever expecting to get it paid back. He does still let that old man that comes to shop once a week pay with physical cash even though it’s so much more inconvenient. And when he’s a few cents short, he’ll let the man pay what he can, and compensates for the loss at the cost of his own paycheck. It was also Jay who first suggested that Ni-ki could take home all of the meal kits and groceries they’d have to throw out soon. 

In a way, Jungwon probably met his angel that day. 

“It was kinda funny,” Jay reminisces with a fond chuckle and shakes his head at whatever memory is replaying in his head, “He walked in the next day and immediately stormed to the cash register to pay me back. And then, he tried to tip me on cup ramyeon and asked if we needed a part timer. That was way back. I just graduated high school and started cleaning up the store with Heeseung, I think.” 

“So,” Ni-ki concludes, pointedly focusing on only one part of the story, “Jungwon-hyung could’ve been my coworker?” 

That would’ve been fun. But also kind of nerve wracking. Ni-ki wouldn’t know what to do if he had to spend even more time with Jungwon than he already does. And technically, they don’t even have to spend more time together after Jungwon comes home. Ni-ki just does because he offers, and they both get to have some time to unwind and hang out together. That’s better than working together. 

What if random customers start hitting on Jungwon like they hit on Heeseung? 

“Almost, yeah,” Jay hums confirmatively, and digs through another shelf, “We didn’t have the money for a part timer back then, though. And he was just sixteen—”

“Sixteen?” Ni-ki perks up, standing up straight and hitting his head against the bottom of a shelf with a yelp. He clutches the back of his throbbing head and stares at Jay with big eyes. “Like, freshly sixteen or almost seventeen?” 

“It was during fall so… sixteen and a half?” Jay replies. He doesn’t notice the way Ni-ki’s heart drops out of his ass at that, not until he finally realises himself what he just said. 

When he does, he freezes, both arms still stuck in one shelf and his ass pushing back their inventory on another. Slowly, he turns his head to Ni-ki to look back at him with equally big eyes. He gasps.

“Holy shit.” Jay slowly sinks to his knees and runs a hand through his hair. He looks just as distressed as Ni-ki feels. “He was sixteen and a half.” 

That means he met Jungwon around the time of Jieun’s birth. Just a few months later, to be exact. He had to give him money, he denied Jungwon a job offer… all while Jungwon was a fresh single father. 

“Oh my god, I’m a horrible person,” Jay mutters to himself and drags his hands down his face with a weak whimper, “My poor baby.” 

They stand—or in Jay’s case, kneel—in silence between the shelves for a while. 

Ni-ki can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for Jungwon.  When he was sixteen, he had just come to the decision to take growing up more seriously and put some effort into studying to get into his dream university. 

Even worse. When Jieun was born, Ni-ki was still fourteen.

“Well,” Ni-ki tries to reassure them. But mostly himself. “He said he was doing fine right now. Just the regular adult stress.” 

“That’s because all of us are adults now,” Jay scoffs and rolls his eyes. He gets up from the floor with a quiet groan and shakes his head again. “Why did you ask anyway? I could’ve stayed blissfully unaware for a few more hours or so.” 

“I just,” Ni-ki wraps his arms around himself defensively, “I just wanted to ask what he was like back then. And… how he was doing, I guess.” 

Jay sighs again, ever the tired adult that he is. Seems like being an adult isn’t easy for anyone. 

“Like we just realised, he seemed to be doing fine,” Jay grumbles and goes back to checking their inventory, “Note down toilet paper and bandaids. We need fifty more of each. Anyway, I don’t think me or Heeseung-hyung noticed. He just struggled a bit with money.” 

Somehow, that doesn’t reassure Ni-ki at all. 

“He never… told you about his struggles?” he asks, watching Jay turn around between the shelves, knocking over a few more things with his ginormous ass—how does his husband even handle all that—and walk up to Ni-ki to shove him out of their storage room again. “Like, at all?” 

“No,” Jay mutters sadly and lets his shoulders sag. “He didn’t even introduce Jieun to me until last year. I… I didn’t know she existed until then.” 

Wow.

 Ni-ki knows even less how to feel about that. Jungwon is just so confusing. 

“Anyway,” Jay quickly moves on, even though his concern is visibly written all over his face like a sign with red letters, “Let’s talk about it another time. We got work to do.” 

—

‘Another time’ happens another few weeks later. 

Ni-ki actually isn’t quite sure how it happens. One second, he’s having toaster poptarts with Jungwon, dug out from the depths of his freezer so they won’t go back and so Jungwon can empty out his fridge, and the next, he’s sitting on the couch, flipping through Jungwon’s photo albums that he’d previously kept hidden in plain sight—sitting innocently on the shelf above the TV. 

“It’s a bad hiding spot,” Ni-ki comments, tracing one picture with his finger pensively, “What if Jieun finds it?” 

“Jieun can’t even reach the top of the TV,” Jungwon reminds him, deadpan. He’s hovering close to Ni-ki’s side, too close. His body’s warmth radiates off of him and fills Ni-ki’s insides with annoying butterflies. “It’ll be another few more years before she gets to see this. Be honoured.” 

He is. He really is. Ni-ki would rather fail all of his exams and trip on his stairs than show Jungwon his childhood photo album, simply because of the fact that it’s embarrassing. He was a bit of a wild card as a child, silly and… very expressive. 

Jungwon, in comparison to that, seems almost normal. He was a fat baby, meaty rolls of arms and legs sticking out from his round body. His cheeks used to be even chubbier, even softer looking. And so cute. Baby Jungwon is looking past the camera, at the person behind it. Even back then, his lips were small and plump. 

“No wonder they called you bread loaf,” he snickers and scratches his nail over the exposed skin showing in the picture, “You’re a loaf of milk bread. So cute.” 

He already knows that saying that will upset Jungwon. Not enough to evolve into a full fight between them—Jungwon could never get that mad at him—but just enough to make the other puff up his cheeks in exaggerated annoyance cutely. It’s an odd contrast to his slender fingers curling around his mug delicately, flexing when he shifts on the couch and shuffles even closer to Ni-ki. 

Ni-ki lets him. He doesn’t have it in him to reject Jungwon like that and move away, closer to the safety of the armrest. 

He flips to a random page after he waits for Jungwon to continue his bickering, only to be met with silence. The next photo shows Jungwon at a river, dressed in a yellow shirt that’s slightly too big on the small, thin frame of a little boy. The legs or his pants are rolled up so he can wade and play in the water. He’s twisting his upper body towards the person behind the camera to flash them a big grin and a peace sign. Again, so cute.  

“You look just like Jieun,” Ni-ki tells him and giggles. The resemblance is almost uncanny but if Jieun’s hair was just a little shorter, she could very well be a tiny Jungwon. 

“Yeah, she doesn’t resemble her mother at all,” Jungwon mutters softly and melts into the couch, letting his head loll to the side and rest on the backrest. The top of his head is so close to Ni-ki’s shoulder. His forehead is basically brushing against his shoulder blade. “It’s almost sad that I only kept one picture of her. Jieun won’t have anything to remember her by.” 

Ni-ki fiddles with the cover of the photo album, scratching along the edge of it with his nail. The binding makes that annoying sound other people would probably like as ASMR but not Ni-ki. He’s not even halfway through the photo album but he already dreads the end of it. Not because he doesn’t want to see more of Jungwon growing up but because he doesn’t know when or even if Jieun will start showing up. 

Or worse. Her mother.

“As long as she doesn’t miss her,” Ni-ki tries to brush it off, and it seems to make Jungwon relax a little as well. “She seems to be doing just fine with the two of us.” 

She’s probably more than just fine. Jieun almost refused to go to bed because Jungwon came home when Ni-ki was just about to tuck her in.  She insisted that, if her appa was already back, they both had to tuck her in. Together. So they did, and she went to sleep with a big grin on her face, falling asleep as Jungwon read her from a book with silly voices.

“Yeah,” Jungwon agrees softly and lets his eyes flutter shut, “Thank goodness.” 

He doesn’t give Ni-ki the chance to hesitate on flipping the page. One of his hands reaches out to carefully take the paper between his nimble fingers, brushing against Ni-ki’s hand at the side of the photo album, and turns the page carefully. 

He skips a few pages, actually. The next picture that comes up shows Jungwon, a lot older than an elementary schooler. Probably. It’s hard to tell. 

“You were so cute, hyung!” he laughs again and points at Jungwon’s hair, “The bowl cut suits you. Looks very round.” 

“Please stop saying that,” he groans quietly and drags a hand down his face, “This was before I learned how to style my hair. Oh my god, I looked like a baby.”

He still does, to Ni-ki at least. 

This time, Jungwon lingers on the picture. He runs a finger down kid-Jungwon’s face with a thoughtful hum and shifts his head. Now, he’s pressing his forehead right against Ni-ki’s shoulder. His breath tickles his skin. 

Maybe, just maybe, Ni-ki should really start wearing something with sleeves again. 

“I think the next one is…” Jungwon mutters quietly and slowly peels back the page. Ni-ki hopes he doesn’t notice how his breath stutters in his chest as the next picture comes into view. 

There she is.  

Chapter Text

Jungwon remembers the day all too well. 

The day he got to hold Jieun for the first time that one warm summer evening, after he’d spent hours waiting in a stuffy, unbearably hot hospital room. 

“Knew it,” he scoffs quietly to himself, tilting his head up to gauge Ni-ki’s reaction. He’s not sure why he’s showing him a picture of this, skipping multiple pages just to get to this memory. 

The truth is, he did it deliberately. 

Jungwon has spent countless nights flipping through the photo album, revisiting his childhood, mourning and grieving a time cut short. He knows exactly which page has the only picture of Jieun’s mom, he could find it in his sleep. 

Ni-ki doesn’t look… as shocked as Jungwon expected him to be. 

His eyes are widened in surprise, yes, but his gaze quickly softens into something fond. Something nostalgic, as if he’d been there that day. 

“She was so little,” he murmurs quietly and taps under Jieun’s face in the picture, peeking out from the towel that Jungwon had her wrapped in. He pointedly avoids mentioning her, or how ‘cute’ Jungwon looked back then, too. His smile is warm, melting something inside of Jungwon. “And so pink!”

He laughs again, carelessly, like this picture didn’t capture the very moment that ended Jungwon’s childhood and ripped the life he’d previously known from under his feet. Not that he hadn’t already prepared for it back then but in hindsight, past-Jungwon had no idea just how difficult it would be. Back then, he was still wearing rose-tinted glasses and looking at the world with the innocence of a freshly-turned sixteen year old. 

“This was right after her birth,” Jungwon snorts, “I’m pretty sure that’s blood.” 

He can’t help but burst out laughing at the way Ni-ki’s face pales and twists. His smile remains, although it looks a little painful now. He nods in understanding. 

“I see,” he says, robotic. “Lovely.” 

Jungwon manages to cough up one last laugh before his gaze falls back on the picture. He was really young, and he looked like it, too. But so did Jieun’s mother. What the midwives and nurses must’ve thought? Surely, raising the birth rate shouldn’t be done by high schoolers. 

And now, here he is. 

Looking at a picture taken right after the birth of his daughter who’ll be attending elementary school soon, while most people his age are getting their bachelor’s degrees. 

“She grew up well, hm?” he says to nobody in particular. It might be Ni-ki. More likely, it’s her in the picture. “That was the best and worst day of my life.”

Neither of them flip the page, only staring at the picture in silence, taking it in. 

Ni-ki shifts again, and it’s only then that Jungwon realises they’re touching. Their sides are pressed together, knees knocking against each other’s, arms lined up in two parallel lines. And yet, Ni-ki’s shoulder is high enough that Jungwon’s head is resting on it. 

“You keep saying that she’s gone,” he starts hesitantly. Jungwon knows he’s not talking about Jieun. Somehow, his heart doesn’t twist painfully once she’s brought up again. There’s no bitter taste on his tongue as he prepares his answer. “Did she… have complications?” 

“She’s not dead,” Jungwon snorts. Somehow, it’s funny that his ominous mentions of her all made it seem like she died. She didn’t. Not to the rest of the world. Only to Jungwon and Jieun. “She just upped and left. Left behind a paper to give me full custody of Jieun and this picture to remember her by. That was it. I tried reaching out to her but… well, it didn’t reach her. And now, she’s still gone.” 

“Oh.” 

Ni-ki looks at the picture for a little while longer. Jungwon looks at him. His expression is hard to read, either because he just doesn’t want to show it or because he goes through so many emotions that his facial muscles can’t keep up. Either option is… kind of funny. 

“She was actually more excited to have Jieun than me,” Jungwon remembers, “I don’t know what changed. Pregnancy is really weird.” 

“Can you,” Ni-ki bites his lip, hesitating, “tell me about her? Only if it’s okay with you, of course.” 

“Sure,” Jungwon agrees easily. Somehow, he feels a lot lighter than usual when he has to think about her. “I can tell you about her.” 

—

They met in Jungwon’s first year of high school, right on the first day. It was a lot of firsts for Jungwon. His first day as highschooler, his first love at first sight. Before that day, he’d never even paid attention to any of that even though some of his classmates in middle school had already started having crushes and dating each other. 

It wasn’t one of those clichés like in the movies and books. Meeting her was almost boring because Jungwon didn’t know how it would impact his life. 

He wasn’t late for the ceremony at the start of the year, and he wasn’t lost on the small high school campus. Jungwon walked through the gates with a flood of other students, some first years like him, others in the years above. He fiddles with his tie nervously because all of his old classmates said that everything would change in high school, and the only ‘preview’ he got of it was from the dramas his sister and grandma watched together in the living room after dinner. 

Despite the rather cold weather, Jungwon had come by bike. Obviously, he had to get off once he’d reached the gates, but that made it easier for him to procrastinate his dreadful arrival in his new classroom for just a bit longer. He had to find the bike stands and find a free spot to lock his bike, letting his eyes drift over other bikes that seemed to occupy every single space. 

That’s where he met her. 

“Here’s one!” 

Jungwon froze, caught off guard by the sudden loud voice calling out to him, and raised his head. She was waving at him in a big, almost exaggerated movement and an unnecessarily friendly grin on her face. Both of her braids were neatly tucked into the collar of her baby blue coat, and at first sight, Jungwon thought she had some shorter, asymmetrical strands framing her round face. As he stepped closer, struggling to push his bike forward, they turned out to be the dangling straps of her helmet. 

“Thank you,” he muttered shyly and lowered his gaze. It shouldn’t have seemed too weird since he had to force his bike into the free spot without knocking over the bikes next to it, and she didn’t seem to mind. 

“Yeah, lots of students come on bikes even during snow storms,” she told him, laughing like it was ridiculous when she—and Jungwon—too, came on bikes in any and every weather, “You gotta come early if you want a good spot. But never the row closest to the gates, the third years will scold you.” 

Noted.

“That’s good to know,” Jungwon admitted softly and finally dared to look at her face again after he closed his lock around his bike, “Thank you…?”

“Sooha,” she introduced herself, “You’re a first year, right? That means I’m your sunbae.”  

She didn’t look older than Jungwon. When he straightened his back again to start the awful walk to his classroom that he’d still have to find, she was, however, a lot taller than him. Before then, he’d never been aware that he wasn’t growing at the appropriate speed. Or, at the very least, hadn’t been so insecure about it. 

“Yang Jungwon,” he introduced himself and hastily bowed his head. She was nice, yes, friendly even but his grandma always reminded him that he should never forget his manners. “Thank you for the help.” 

“It’s no problem,” she shrugged him off, like it really wasn’t a big deal, “Do you know where to go?” 

“Yes.” 

She smiled down at him, slowly tilting her head like a curious cat. Jungwon had to crane his neck to meet her gaze. She was almost half a head taller than him and the sight—a pretty, tall girl smiling down at him with the sunlight coming from behind her—made her look like some kind of bike stand angel. It flustered him. He swallowed dryly. 

“The first years are on the ground floor, right?” he asked, the words leaving him before he could stop himself.

“Uhm, no?” she giggled at his question like he’d said something silly and hid the lower half of her face behind a gloved hand. Her eyes scrunched up. “They’re on the second floor.”

Jungwon had already known that. 

His older sister had attended this high school. His parents and grandma made sure to come to every sports meet, every school festival, and especially her graduation with him. He knew the floorplan like his knee—something he inevitably knew, but only when he somehow managed to look at it by accident. 

“Want me to show you?” she offered easily, unaware that Jungwon was taking advantage of her kindness for some sick, twisted reason that he didn’t figure out until a while later. “What class are you in?” 

“I’m in class…” Jungwon dug in his pockets to find the letter he got, “1-2.”

He didn’t know it back then, but she had seen through his lie. In return, she lied to him as well.

“That’s on my way,” she hooked their elbows together and pulled him along, a skip to her step that made it hard to keep up with her, “Let’s go, Wonie.” 

He didn’t respond. He couldn’t. Sooha’s shoulder almost bumped against his temple with every joyful skip even though she had to lower her arm to reach Jungwon’s elbow, and when it didn’t, their arms were lined up in two parallel lines. She was warm, even through the thick fabric of her coat. Or maybe Jungwon was just hyper aware of every spot they were touching. 

She led him to the second floor, turning to the left once they reached the last step of stairs. Class 1-2 was, as predicted, the second to last classroom on their left, almost at the end of the hallway. Only class 1-1 was even further away from the staircase. They stopped in front of the sliding door at the back of the classroom, arms still hooked together. Jungwon thought this would be the last time he’d get to talk to her, and the possibility made him even more nervous than meeting his new classmates and having to find friends. 

“High school isn’t that different from middle school,” she told him as if she’d read his mind. More likely, she could read his face like an open book. “More studying but that’s it.” 

Jungwon had always been a studious boy. He knew that his parents expected him to get the typical jobs every Eastasian parent expected their child to become—a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer. He would become none of those, but not for the lack of trying. Mostly because he also didn’t want to. 

“I’m… not good with new people,” he admitted sheepishly and slowly pulled his arm away from hers. A regretful feeling washed over him at the loss of her warmth but he tried to push it down. “Thank you again for showing me to my classroom, sunbaenim.” 

“No problem!” she chirped, turned sharply on her heels and walked all the way back to the staircase to go down before he could ask for her number. 

—

Jungwon thought that would be their first and last proper interaction, and for a while, he was right. They occasionally walked past each other in the hallways when they had to switch classrooms. She would come out of the art classroom, and he’d walked past it to the other art classroom. Every time, her face would light up with a huge smile and she’d wave at him as he bowed his head but that was it. No greetings, no chit chat. 

They didn’t arrive at the bike stands at the same time anymore either. 

The few times he’d be able to spot her in the cafeteria during lunch break, she was sitting with a huge group of friends that extended over to a second table. To this day, he thinks she tried to wave her over sometimes but he’d get dragged to another table with the two classmates he managed to befriend. Two quiet, a bit nerdy boys who were really into video games that Jungwon sucked at and idols that Jungwon had no interest in unless they were IU. Unfortunately, they were both more into the girl crush concept. It was probably mean to assume but he thought it was because they were both a bit masochistic. 

“Jungwon’s into the innocent type,” one of them—he doesn’t remember his name anymore—snickered and stole one of his pieces of fried chicken. “Right? You keep looking at that sunbae—” 

“I have no idea who you’re talking about,” he quickly denied, even though his neck was twisted so he could look at Sooha at the other end of the room. 

She was the innocent type. Innocent, extroverted and kind. Her hair was always tied into two braids, sometimes even done up into cute space buns. She rarely wore the uniform’s skirt, opting for the more comfortable sweatpants of their sports uniform despite only having PE class once a week. The beige sweater of their uniform was almost always tied around her slim waist, like she was prepared to switch into a more girly look any moment if needed. 

“That’s not innocent,” his other friend pointed out with a snort and craned his neck to look at her as well. Jungwon almost grabbed him by the jaw to turn his face back to his food. “She’s kinda boyish. I don’t get why you’re not into the girl crush concept.” 

Jungwon had to bite back a snarky comment. She wasn’t boyish. Her hair was long and her features were incredibly feminine. If it wasn’t her looks, then the way she carried herself. Jungwon noticed every time she passed by him that she managed to walk elegantly in sweats. And during lunch break, his gaze was drawn to the chopsticks between her slender fingers, and the small bites she picked up from her actually pretty large portions. Her legs were never crossed but lined up politely and slightly tilted to one side. He remembered seeing it in a western movie his sister once watched. 

That day, after the bell for his final class of the day rang, Jungwon didn't head straight to the bike stands. It would’ve been his better bet but if he hurried just enough, he could catch her before she left her classroom—

“Sooha,” one of the guys called out to her after he almost ran into Jungwon while stepping out of the classroom. He threw a glance over his shoulder. Like a cliché, she sat next to the window in the last row, all the way in the back. Her head was lowered into her arms as if she was asleep, but since her head was turned to the window, she might’ve just been staring out of it. “Your little guy’s here.” 

Hearing those words come from a stranger’s mouth made Jungwon’s stomach flutter. 

Jungwon doesn’t think he’s ever talked to any of her classmates and, in hindsight, she never even told him which class she was in. He must’ve picked it up somewhere by accident. Either way, this guy seemed to have heard about Jungwon, which means that Sooha had to have talked about him. 

His gaze flickered from Sooha’s slowly straightening form up to the boy’s face. He was, as expected, also taller than him. Which would’ve been intimidating if he wasn’t smiling at him blindingly brightly. And then, he lifted his big hand and gave Jungwon a startling, near violent,  encouraging pat on the shoulder while he shoved past and whispered, “Good luck, little buddy.” 

“Hey,” she greeted him casually as she strolled up to him, her elbows tight to her body, “Did you need something?” 

Jungwon opened his mouth, froze, and shook his head. He balled his hands into sweaty fists at his side when he was overcome by a strange insecurity that wouldn’t let him speak to her. The most he could manage was a humiliating croak and quick blinks to hold back the tears threatening to spill. He wasn’t a little kid anymore. This wasn’t anything to cry about. 

“Are you okay?” she gasped and gently cupped his face in her soft, warm hands. Jungwon probably looked crazy with his eyes flickering across her worried face, not knowing where to look so her pouty lips and furrowed eyebrows weren't the only thing he could see. “Your face is so red. Are you getting sick?” 

“I’m okay,” he squeaked, voice high in his throat. He had to do it now, or he’d never muster up the courage again. If that, what was surging through his body, was even considered courage. “I, uh, are you free? This weekend?” 

She blinked at him in surprise, slightly loosening her grip on his chubby cheeks before she pulled at them like his face was some kind of stretchy rice cake and her face split into a wide grin. Her face, too, turned red. It was probably less bright than Jungwon’s but, since their faces were so close, he noticed it. The slightest hint of pink on the round apples of her cheeks. 

“Yeah, I’m free, Wonie,” she replied quietly and giggled, “Give me your phone.” 

Jungwon followed almost automatically, like her voice moved his body by command. She took his phone from him after he fumbled to unlock it and brushed her fingers against his, sending an electric current up his arm and down his spine. It took her five times to correctly enter her own phone number as if she’d forgotten it, calling herself with a small, pleased smile. 

“Text me the details later?” she asked him quietly. If he didn’t know better, he’d assume that she was shy. “Or we can talk about it on our way to our bikes.” 

“Bikes,” he decided with a reeling mind. The words, again, left his mouth before he could stop himself. “If you don’t mind.” 

“Let me just grab my stuff,” she told him and sharply turned on her heels, twisting her ankle and stumbling back to her desk with embarrassed giggles escaping her lips. It took her a few, agonisingly long heartbeats to say goodbye to her friends that were waiting for her at her desk. One of the girls elbowed her with a teasing smirk tugging at the side of her lips, another wriggled her eyebrows at her. Jungwon tried to blend it out while he waited and watched but he couldn’t help but notice. 

An awkward silence followed them to the bike stands like a third presence extending its sticky tendrils to the bottoms of their soles and wrapping around their ankles, calves, thighs, until it reached their throats. Jungwon tried to speak up multiple times but every time he opened his mouth, he closed it after a single heartbeat that was too strong in his chest, too high up in his throat, clogging his voice. He probably looked like a mute goldfish. 

Once they arrived at the bike stands, Sooha led him to her bike—and inevitably, to his own. They were right next to each other, at the very back where they’d put their bikes on the first day of the school year. His old, thrifted sports bike that his grandma had gotten for him from one of her friends’ sons looked pitiful next to her polished city bike. It was pastel yellow, not a single speck of dirt anywhere on the frame. She even had a basket strapped to the front that she could dump her bag and sweater into. 

“You always come so early,” she commented with a laugh, “but your bike’s always here.” 

“We didn’t talk about the weekend,” he pretended to remember, watching the pink on her cheeks spread to the bridge of her nose, “Sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” she muttered, “We can text when we’re home?” 

“That sounds great,” he agreed, making a mental note to close his door for once. If there was one person he didn’t want to see or hear about this, it was his older sister. She’d tease him forever for it. “I’ll… text you later then?” 

“I’ll be waiting!” she teased him and put on her helmet. 

They stood there for a few seconds, unmoving. Jungwon didn’t even touch his bike to pretend to pull it out from the stands yet. His arms uselessly dangled at his sides, like foreign limbs he had no control of. It wasn’t until another student had to push past him to get to his bike that they jumped into action, unlocking and pulling their bikes away from the stands. 

Sooha’s fingers fumbled and struggled to close the strap of her helmet around her head. Jungwon, in an almost drunken daze, reached up to close the clasp under her chin for her. 

“Ah,” she blinked at him, surprised, “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.”

—

Texting Sooha was strange. She knew a lot of slang that Jungwon was unfamiliar with, and every second message of his seemed to read ‘What does that mean?’ which was… awkward. For him. She patiently informed him of every meaning, followed by a ‘Ah, but that’s more PC bang slang, most people don’t use it kekekeke’. It was intriguing. Jungwon had never been to a PC bang before and Sooha thought she should give him a basic introduction to the gamer culture. 

The following days leading up to the weekend, Jungwon failed to catch a single glimpse of her in the hallways or even in the cafeteria. They didn’t text after that evening either, and for a few moments that washed over him in irregular intervals, he was afraid that she’d only been a figment of his imagination or—worse—had suddenly disappeared. 

“I hope you like snacks,” were the words she greeted him with when the highly anticipated weekend finally arrived. 

She’d walked up to Jungwon from the back, surprising him with a tap on his shoulder while he anxiously tapped his foot waiting for her, ready to sprint home in case he’d gotten stood up and played. Not that he expected it from her, she didn’t seem like the type, but he’s grown up with the unreasonable fear that people wouldn’t show up. 

But she did show up. And when Jungwon turned around to face her, he almost wished she hadn’t. 

If he thought texting Sooha was strange, then seeing her out of her school uniform was even stranger. She’s foregone the sweatpants, and there was no sweater tied around her waist anymore. Her outfit was still fairly simple but she looked less… boyish, as his friend said. She’d tucked a soft yellow sweater into an ankle length skirt, paired together with some heeled boots.

“It’s actually a very loose pair of pants,” she corrected him with a smug chuckle, almost jumping into a split to show off the flowy fabric that split in the middle. Like this, Jungwon still had to tilt his head up to look at her face. 

He felt pathetically underdressed in his beat up sneakers and washed out jeans. The grey zip up hoodie he was wearing was actually from his sister. Embarrassment washed over him when she gave him an odd, thoughtful look up and down before she eventually nodded as if she’d just come to a very important decision. 

“I’m a bit overdressed,” she told him, “for a date to a PC bang. A hoodie would be more comfortable.” 

She called it a date first. Jungwon went along with it, mostly because the relief of hearing that word made the heavy feeling in his chest disappear, but also because he’d previously been too scared to call it a date when his sister had asked why he was suddenly leaving the house during a weekend. He didn’t know if it would’ve been too presumptuous of him to call it a date without saying it to Sooha first. 

“But aren’t your pants comfortable?” he wondered, to which she laughed. “I mean, since they’re so loose. We can grab burgers on our way back, and you could eat, like, three.” 

Somehow, he actually didn’t bomb the date. Sooha laughed a lot and seemed to have a lot of fun beating Jungwon in every game they played. He had a lot of fun laughing with her and losing—on purpose, of course. 

They ended up grabbing some pizzas for dinner. One for each, not bothering to share after burning basically all the calories in the PC bang beforehand anyway. He felt fancy and got a prosciutto and burrata pizza while Sooha got… 

“A pineapple pizza?” he snorted and jumped back when she raised the slice and shoved it under his nose. “Woah!”

“It’s a great pizza,” she told him pompously and waved the slice in front of his face. The toppings threatened to fall off and plunge to their doom on Jungwon’s pants. “Some sweetness. You can save yourself dessert this way!”

Which is definitely not how Jungwon would try to sell pineapple on pizza but okay. At least she was cute. 

They parted ways after dinner. Jungwon tried to be a gentleman and wait for the bus with her but she was quick to shoo him across the four lane street to his own bus stop, exaggerating her wave at him as they each waited for their busses to arrive. He found it so cute that he took a picture and set it as his phone’s wallpaper that same night. 

When he came home after missing his first bus to make sure that Sooha would get on hers first, his sister was lounging on the couch with a face mask covering her face and her phone listlessly dangling from her hands. Without looking up, she asked him,

“How did your date go?” 

There was only one answer that felt right to Jungwon that evening. He could barely hide his smile when he, without missing a beat, replied, 

“It was great.” 

—

A lot changed between them the following weeks. Mostly, Jungwon got to call things differently now. He wasn’t scared to call it a date anymore, and his sister scolded him for all of his outfit choices until she somehow managed to drag him out to a shopping trip. That’s when they ran into Sooha together. 

“Oh, Sooha-noona!” 

As always when it came to her, it slipped out of him before he could stop himself. He slapped a hand over his mouth in surprise at his own boldness, in front of his own sister nonetheless. Technically, Sooha had offered that he could call her that. He didn’t think he’d do it so soon though. 

Sooha, as always when Jungwon messed up, just let her lips stretch into a grin and greeted him with a tight hug. She immediately clicked with his sister, managing to call her ‘unnie’ despite their three year age difference within just a few hours of hanging out together and teaming up against Jungwon. Jungwon doesn’t remember how many outfits he’d tried on that day but it must've been at least twenty. 

Oh well. At least his sister paid for the food later. 

Even if he ended up carrying the three bags of clothes for himself alone despite only wanting a new hoodie. 

“I should’ve bought new clothes, too,” Sooha sighed and gracefully lowered herself into the seat next to Jungwon’s when she came back to the table before his sister. “I had so much fun today, I completely forgot what I came here for.” 

He hummed thoughtfully, shovelling a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. He had another crazy idea but to execute it, he’d have to shake off his sister. His sister, who was still busy paying for their ice creams and getting a water bottle for herself. Slowly, he put his spoon down and turned his head to look at Sooha with big eyes. He’d grown a lot more comfortable on their last few dates but there were some things that he can’t help but blurt out before he was mentally prepared for it. 

“Wanna get matching items?” he suggested in one breath, the words tumbling from his lips and getting jumbled up with his tongue. “Shoes or something.” 

“Oh!” she perked up at the suggestion, fidgeting in her seat as if she could barely contain her excitement. Then, like she had read his mind, she lowered her voice into a conspiring whisper and told him,“I like that. Let’s go now.” 

Sooha grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him up without waiting for his answer. She didn’t need to because the moment Jungwon was up on his own feet, he was the one pulling her along in a sudden burst of adrenaline surging through his body. Every once in a while, he could take the initiative, too, and that was one of those moments. 

His grandma would’ve fainted at the number on the price tag. But he’d saved up a lot of his allowance, and it felt like a good purchase back then. Years later, it actually still does. He didn’t own a lot of brand clothing. That was probably one of the reasons why the shoes felt so special. The main reason, however, was obviously Sooha. 

She insisted on paying for her own pair even though Jungwon had brought enough money to pay for them as well. In the end, his sister paid for the both of them with the money from her part time job after she found and scolded them for running off without telling her. 

They didn’t plan it but the very next day at school, Sooha and he both wore their new shoes. With that, their relationship became something like an unsaid agreement. 

—

It stayed unsaid until a few days before summer break. 

“Sooha-noona, I really like you.” 

They were grabbing some snacks together on their way to cram school. Jungwon struggled to balance his ice cream cone while also pushing his bike with one hand, occasionally bumping his handlebars into Sooha’s and getting them all tangled up. She only responded with a light chuckle and, for the first time in all those months that he’s known her, she was… shy. Her cheeks were dusted in a soft pink like they so often were when Jungwon blurted out something embarrassing but she’d never been speechless before. 

“I’m sure you already know,” he continued quietly, all of his built up courage deflating like someone poked a balloon with a needle, “But I wanted to say it, just so you know for sure. You don’t have to respond if you don’t want to—” 

That was their first kiss. 

He dropped his ice cream cone in shock, not at all expecting his confession to lead to anything but she’d grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in. Their teeth clacked together painfully and they both pulled back faster than they’d leant in. Jungwon’s newly freed hand came up to hold his tingling mouth. The closest sensation he could compare it to was eating really spicy jjampong. 

“Ah, sorry.” For once, it was Sooha’s turn to stumble over her words. Her turn to turn a bright red. Her turn to be an even bigger flustered mess than Jungwon. “I should’ve asked, that was stupid. Are you okay?” 

Jungwon blinked at her owlishly. His head was spinning, tossing his brain around too fast for him to think of a full sentence. He was quickly snapped out of his daze when some grandpa rudely pushed between them because they were blocking his way, cussing and complaining about ‘damn youngsters in love’. In their stupor, Jungwon and Sooha only turned their heads to follow him with their gazes before they simultaneously looked at each other again. 

They burst into laughter, doubling over and clutching their stomachs. 

“Wow,” he gasped between breathless giggles, trying to catch his breath. “That was so romantic.”

Her laughter took up again, becoming airier, lighter. Jungwon listened to her like she was a windchime personified with an embarrassed smile. He sniffled quietly and wiped at his nose just so he’d do something with himself.   

“Wow, your sister would laugh at us,” she inhaled desperately, wiping away a stray tear.

“She’d laugh at me,” he corrected her with a sudden headache, “And then tell my grandmother so they can laugh at me together.” 

That’s how they started dating. With an old man scolding them for blocking the way, the looming threat of Jungwon’s grandma laughing at him and ice cream smearing over Sooha’s sleeve when they lean in for another, more coordinated kiss. 

—

A week later, Sooha met his grandmother and parents. It was, just like with his sister, a pure coincidence. Back then, it felt like fate to Jungwon. It was seldom enough that his parents were back from a business trip at the same time. But to have the time to go out together as a family, even if it’s just for a basic dinner at a Japanese place, felt like an undeserved reward. 

“Since we couldn’t be there for your birthday,” his mother told him sadly and pulled him into a tight hug. But his birthday had already long passed, and he wouldn’t have chosen a curry place to celebrate it either. 

In the end, they met Sooha at the bus station when she was just about to be on her way home. 

She was dressed fairly casually; a simple white shirt tucked a jeans skirt and a beige flannel shirt to cover her arms paired with a white pair of sneakers. Their pair of sneakers.  Jungwon was wearing them, too. 

Stupid as he used to be, Jungwon had called out to her before he realised and let her pull him into a hug. He hugged her back before he remembered that his whole family was there. Even his grandma who’d never even heard of Sooha before from him or his sister. 

“And… who's this young lady?” his father asked him, a teasing lilt to his voice. His gaze had immediately drifted down to their shoes as the smile on his face grew. He’d known back then but he didn't stop Jungwon. Maybe, in a weird way, he didn't feel entitled to because of his lack of presence in Jungwon’s life despite still being his father. “I don't think we’ve met yet.” 

“Kim Sooha,” she introduced herself and quickly bent her torso at a ninety degree angle. Jungwon's sure that everyone noticed the way she nervously fiddled with her hands. “I’m Jungwon’s girlfriend.” 

His grandma happily invited her to have dinner with them and she only let her parents know with a single text. 

Sooha got along great with his parents. She showed a kind of interest in their jobs that not even Jungwon could ever bring to the table, and she was perfectly polite, joked around with his sister and occasionally let Jungwon sneak some of his cooked carrot pieces into her bowl. He was just fifteen and a few months old after all! 

Unfortunately, the car had already been full when they came to the restaurant. Five people in five seats. That meant Sooha would have to take the bus home and Jungwon just couldn’t let that happen with his conscience. 

“I still have to take my walk anyway,” he waved off her concern and insistence that he should go with his family. “The weather’s gotten so nice.” 

“That’s true,” she laughed shyly and bumped their shoulders together, “Do you have enough for the bus fare though?” 

He didn’t. 

She didn’t seem to mind lending him some money since ‘his family was so nice to invite her for dinner’ and let him walk her home. He realised only when he hopped off the bus that this was the first time he’s gotten anywhere near her family’s apartment for the first time. 

“Do you… want to meet my family, too?” she offered, and he almost shat his pants in fear. Actually, he might’ve peed a little before he jerked his head in what turned out to be a shake of his head. 

“I’m not…” he muttered and lowered his gaze, staring at the tip of his shoe digging into the ground, “I’m not that sociable. I’m not prepared yet.” 

She laughed like he’d said something silly, but it was a genuine concern of his. He wanted to leave a good impression on her family, and he wasn’t sure if he still had the social battery to properly hold a pleasant conversation. It was different with Sooha, of course, because it was her. But her parents? They were in a different league, and Jungwon didn’t even have a gift to hand them while entering their home. 

“That’s fine,” she reassured him softly. Her hand gently cupped the side of his face, stroking over his hot, round cheek with a thumb. “I still—My parents don’t know we’re dating yet either. I guess we both have a bit to prepare first, huh?” 

“Yeah,” he chuckled and nuzzled into her open palm, laying fluttering kisses on her soft skin. Her hand was warm. Or maybe it was Jungwon’s face. “Let’s start with that.” 

She leaned down and pressed a chaste yet clumsy kiss to his mouth. Her lips tasted like curry. It was kind of funny. 

“Good night, Jungwonie,” she chirped before she entered the building, “I’ll see you tomorrow at school, yeah? Don’t miss the bus.” 

“Okay,” he replied easily, staring after her like a lovesick fool. 

Needless to say, he missed the bus that night. The money she gave him wasn’t enough to get a cab back to his place so he just walked. It was stupid and dangerous. He was only a freshman in high school. But somehow, he made it home unscathed and without running into any trouble, way too late for anyone to still be up. 

When he opened the door to his home, he expected all of them to already be asleep in their beds. Instead, his grandma was still sitting at the dining table sipping at a cup of tea long gone cold. 

“She seems like a nice girl,” his grandma told him as he took off his shoes. “I hope you’ll always be happy.” 

It’s like she knew. Jungwon, to this day, still wonders if she knew and why she didn’t warn him back then that he wouldn’t be truly happy for a long time. 

—

Then again, she probably didn’t expect him to be so stupid. His grandma always made sure that she raised him well, so unlike the other boys at school whose parents let them run wild in their absence. His parents, too, always made sure to let him know that his grandma was growing older. It was just as much her responsibility to watch over him while they were gone as it was his responsibility to watch over her. 

He knew that he had to tread carefully in life. 

“What do we do?” 

Jungwon turned the pregnancy test in his hands like the backside would show him a different result. He’d done the same to the other three, like one of them had a secret screen that would show him something different. 

“I guess,” he started slowly, pulling her into his side. Her shoulders shook. Tears soaked into the fabric of his shirt’s collar. “I’ll have to meet your parents now.” 

Chapter Text

Ni-ki waits for a few moments, blinking rapidly to hydrate his eyes. He didn’t realise that he didn’t blink up until that point, nor did he realise that he was holding his breath. 

Jungwon doesn’t continue. He absentmindedly strokes a gentle finger over Jieun’s head in the picture, like telling Ni-ki the story has sucked him right back into the past. His head is now fully resting on Ni-ki’s shoulder, the hair on top of his round head tickling his cheek. 

“How…” he starts slowly. His voice betrays him, like his body wants to stop him from continuing. But Ni-ki has to know. He isn’t dying from curiosity but none of it makes sense. From what Jungwon has told him just now, it doesn’t seem like Sooha would leave. Then again, it also didn’t sound like she’d stay. “How did her parents react?” 

Jungwon hums thoughtfully. He seems to be only half listening to Ni-ki, the other half occupied with reminiscing. 

“They weren’t thrilled,” he chooses to say carefully, “but they reacted better than my own parents. I think. They just asked me what I was going to do since Sooha insisted on keeping the baby and told me to keep my word.”

“She wanted to keep Jieun?” Ni-ki asks, incredulous. Then, it makes sense that Jungwon assumed she wouldn’t just abandon them like this. 

Jungwon nods wordlessly, like he can’t admit out loud that he and his grandma were wrong about her. He lifts his head from Ni-ki’s shoulder with a bitter laugh and tips his head back to get the last sip from his mug, slamming it onto the coffee table like it’s a beer mug. 

“I know, right?” he scoffs bitterly, like the gaps of his silence alone have spoken all of his questions out loud, “That only lasted for the pregnancy I guess.” 

Ni-ki doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know what he could say in a moment like this. Whatever Jungwon must be feeling right now is an emotion so unknown and abstract to Ni-ki that he can’t even imagine or grasp the idea of it. 

Baby blues aren’t a foreign concept to him. He knows they exist, and he knows that a lot of women go through it. The aftermath is what he never cared about before, until it affected someone he cares about. Obviously, it’s too late to do anything about it now. Jieun’s already gained her consciousness, gained the awareness that she’s growing up without a mother. And she seems to be fine with it, but what about Jungwon? 

He must’ve stayed silent for too long. Jungwon glances at him with doubt in his eyes.

“I mean, I get it,” he tries to reassure Ni-ki, like he has to explain himself to him, “The reality didn’t set in for me until I was holding her, too.” 

“And you still stayed,” Ni-ki points out even though he's the last person who can say anything about the topic. “Jieun knows you, not her. But it was scary for both of you.” 

“Hm,” Jungwon hums listlessly and lets his head loll back onto Ni-ki's shoulder as he trails a gentle finger over Jieun wrapped up in a blanket in the picture. “I guess. What I’m trying to say is that I don't blame her. There's just this… resentment that she let me struggle alone.” 

Ni-ki wraps an arm around his shoulders in an attempt to comfort him wordlessly. When that doesn't seem to work and draw Jungwon out of his thoughts, he says,

“You don't have to do it alone anymore.” 

He might be overstepping so many boundaries right now. But it feels like the only right thing to say that isn't just a white lie to make him feel better. Ni-ki speaks from the bottom of his heart, and he hopes that Jungwon can tell. That Ni-ki’s honest. That Jungwon can rely on him. Him and Heeseung and Jay and hopefully the rest of Ni-ki’s friends soon as well. 

Whatever Ni-ki tried to convey, Jungwon seems to understand. He turns his head, flashing Ni-ki a bright, dimpled grin as his eyes crinkle into little crescents. 

“I know,” he tells Ni-ki giddily and giggles in that sweet pitch of his, “And Jieun knows it, too.” 

He takes the photo album from Ni-ki’s hands and moves it into his lap. With a single flip of a page, Jieun has grown up. She’s out of the hospital now and no longer bundled up in a blanket. Between this picture and the last, some time must’ve passed because she’s dressed warmly in a little bear suit. And she’s… at home. Laid on the floor for some tummy time in this very apartment. 

“She loved that bear suit,” Jungwon continues. 

They move on quickly from the heavy conversation. Jungwon shows him more pictures of Jieun growing up and telling him little anecdotes, all the way to her last birthday. Before either of them know it, Ni-ki’s phone buzzes with a notification signaling that Sunoo’s downstairs to pick him up. 

Private Chat: Kim Oosun

i’m outside

stop making out with your boyfriend and come out

not my boyfriend yet 

but

i am gay

come to my car!! 

yessir o7

What?  A little fun never hurt anybody. And Sunoo already knows that Ni-ki’s a walking gay disaster with a hopeless crush on Jungwon. 

“Time to go?” he asks him and closes the photo album in his lap. He scoots forward on the couch until he can put it away on the coffee table, neatly tucked next to his empty mug, and gets up on his feet with an energetic hop. “Time sure flies.” 

“That’s just because we’re getting old,” Ni-ki theatrically bemoans and flops off the couch and onto the carpet, hitting his knee against the leg of the coffee table. “Ow, my back.” 

“The floor’s hard, that’s not your back,” Jungwon laughs and crouches down. With a firm grip on Ni-ki’s shoulders that wanders down to his wrists, he hoists him up into a sitting position and pulls him to his feet. 

Oh. 

Oh wow.

He’s actually really strong. 

“Thank you, hyung,” Ni-ki giggles as well, clasping his hand just a little tighter around Jungwon’s. “Can’t die on your living room carpet like that. I just got your lore!” 

“It doesn’t come free, you know?” Jungwon muses with a mischievous glint in his eyes before he shoves Ni-ki towards the door. It’d look like a threat if he wasn’t so… cute. “Next time, I want to hear about your teenage years.”  

Okay. Okay, now it’s a threat. 

Ni-ki’s teenage years were… less admirable. He definitely wasn’t as mature as Jungwon, nor did he handle his responsibilities as well. If Ni-ki had to describe his teenage years in one word, it would be ‘disastrous’ even though his parents probably wouldn’t agree. Even back then, they said it was just puberty, and that mindset probably wasn’t helpful for his development. 

Well, he still turned out just fine. So It couldn’t have all been that bad. 

“Okay, sure,” he agrees with a queasy feeling in his stomach, “But it’s gonna be chaotic. I’ll need a whiteboard.” 

“I have paper and some crayons,” Jungwon offers him with a teasing smirk while he follows Ni-ki to the door. It’s not a long walk, maybe five steps at most, but being sent off like this feels nice. Like he’s going to wait at the door for him to return. “That’ll do?” 

“Should be enough, yeah,” he laughs and slips into his shoes. 

When he turns around to bif Jungwon a proper goodbye, he has to stop. His brain to mouth filter stopped working for a second and if he hadn’t frozen, staring down at Jungwon and gazing into his big, cat-like eyes, he might’ve blurted out something embarrassing like a, “Bye, love you!” And that would’ve been the end for Ni-ki. 

Instead, he manages a cheerful, 

“I’ll see you tomorrow with paper and crayons then!” 

And Jungwon hugs him goodbye. 

— 

“He hugged me!” Ni-ki gasps and rolls around in his bed. 

It’s only a little after midnight and he officially gave up studying because he just could not focus on anything except the feeling of Jungwon’s lithe body pressed against his own, the warmth spreading through both of their bodies, his arms lingering around Ni-ki’s neck for a beat longer than necessary. When he’d let go of Ni-ki, he had to go back down onto the heels of his feet. 

And the look he gave Ni-ki, something so full of adoration and vulnerability, will haunt him forever. 

“... That’s why you called me at four am?” 

Okay, so maybe it’s not ‘a little’ after midnight. In fact, it’s almost time for Ni-ki to get up again because two hours of sleep won’t carry him through the day but one hour still counts as a power nap if he even manages to take one. And since there’s no time difference between Japan and South Korea, there’s also no difference between calling Taki or waking up Jake except for maybe the guilt that wouldn’t be eating at Ni-ki’s consciousness like a dog gnawing on a chewing toy if it was Jake. 

“Sorry,” he mutters into the speaker of his phone, “I really thought it was like one am.” 

“How is that better?” Taki snorts. And yet, his sheets rustle like he’s trying to find a more comfortable position to listen to Ni-ki. “Anyway, it sounds like I missed a lot?” 

“We bonded,” Ni-ki freaks out and inhales sharply to prepare his lungs for the hard work they’ll have to put in next, “Like, a lot. He told me about his past, and then we made a joke about being old and he asked me to tell me about my teenage years and I told him I’d need a whiteboard but he can only offer me crayons and when we said goodbye, he hugged me.” 

Admittedly, he could’ve left out a lot. Taki didn’t need to know that they bonded except that Ni-ki wanted to tell someone about it. He couldn’t tell Sunoo earlier because he was ranting about his study group, and he couldn’t tell Jake later because Sunoo was ranting to him about his study group, and Sunghoon was nowhere to be seen when Ni-ki came home because he’s mysterious like that. So the only person Ni-ki could tell was either Kei on the weekend when they’d agreed to call or Taki. Right now. Unless he wants Ni-ki to pop from the inside like a balloon. 

“Oh my god, is that… progress?” Taki gasps incredulously, exaggerating his surprise. Or maybe it’s not exaggerated and Taki’s reactions are just as big as always. It’s hard to tell over the phone when Ni-ki can’t see a teasing grin or a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. 

“I think so?” Ni-ki rolls onto his back and lets his phone drop onto the pillow next to his head, “I mean. We haven’t hugged before. Not this long. The last time he hugged me was when I got Jieun to nap while he was out, and that was, like, a huge achievement. Is this an achievement? What milestone did I reach here? Can I kiss him on the cheek next or is that too fast—” 

“You definitely talk too fast right now,” Taki groans. A slapping sound comes from the speakers, followed by another groan. “Hold on. I just woke up. I gotta process this.” 

“Well, can you process it a little faster?” Ni-ki urges him in a childishly whiny voice, “I need help processing it myself!” 

Taki doesn’t hurry up. 

In fact, the next thing Ni-ki hears is a quiet snore like he just fell back asleep, and it would be rude and mean—if it wasn’t four am in the morning and no sane person that isn’t a little in love with Yang Jungwon would be awake at this hour. 

So Ni-ki hangs up. 

He wants to be upset at Taki for falling asleep on call when he specifically asked for help but his brain is too preoccupied with the phantom feeling of Jungwon’s hug still lingering around his neck. First, Ni-ki will have to gather himself again. And if he has to do so alone, then so be it. 

Or he could always just—

“Are you awake?”

It's Jake who falls out of Sunoo’s bed screaming. Sunoo meanwhile, who's been rolled over by his own boyfriend, sits up in groggy confusion and looks around the room like Ni-ki in his door and letting all of the light from the hallway flood into his room isn't hint enough for where to look. Ni-ki crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the doorframe while he waits for Sunoo to finally find him—a few steps away from his bed. 

“Did you throw up?” Sunoo croaks and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. And then, his open palm clumsily pats around in his bed, swiping over the sheets only to find nothing but more sheets. “Jake-hyung?” 

“I didn’t throw up,” Ni-ki denies quickly, “but I might soon.” 

“What?” Jake picks himself up from the floor. Or, at the very least, tries to and fails miserably. He flops back onto the floor with a startled yelp as his sense of balance betrays him. “Uwah!” 

In all his flailing movements, Jake manages to roll to Ni-ki’s feet, only coming to a stop because his shoulder crashes against his shin. Sunoo’s room really isn’t that big, and there’s definitely not enough space to do a roly-poly. Ni-ki stares down at him with wide eyes. Not only is this not the place to do roly-polies, it also isn’t the time for them. 

“What time is it?” Sunoo whines and blindly reaches for his phone. It’s on the nightstand. Ni-ki can see it because there’s still light from the hallway flooding past his figure. “Four am?!” 

“No time for that!” Ni-ki hisses and jumps onto the bed, crashing full force into Sunoo’s knees and knocking them to the side, “I couldn't tell you earlier because I was critically hit, Sunoo-hyung, he hit me with a hug and now I’m gonna throw up on your bed and die—”

“Don't you dare!”

—

The following week, Ni-ki makes Jungwon's hug everyone’s problem except for his beloved Jungwon-hyung himself. It doesn't help that, after all inhibitions seemed to have been lost between them, Jungwon keeps hugging him goodbye. Every day. For a full week. 

He doesn't pressure Ni-ki into telling him about his own teenage days. Just lets him stay for a bit longer after babysitting, drinks a cup of iced hot chocolate with him and hugs him goodbye. When Jieun is awake, she goes in to join their hug after giving Ni-ki one alone, and she always seems happy to do so with smiles and giggles and her short little arms wrapping around Ni-ki's neck. 

“You’d think you'd get used to it after a week,” Sunghoon comments through a mouthful of soft, fluffy bread and shakes his head, “Oh, to be young and in love.” 

Ni-ki’s only class for the day got cancelled, and since he’s still in dire need of money (he hasn’t fixed the lightbulb on the staircase yet), he picked up half of a shift at the convenience store before joining Sunghoon at the gym. Their workout didn’t last long before Sunghoon called for a snack break and usually, Ni-ki would be thrilled. He enjoys some good snacks. Except Sunghoon only brought a single piece of milk bread as his snack even though he said he wanted to cut flour. 

“It’s my cheat day,” he said and tore it in half to share. So, at the very least, Ni-ki got half of a piece of milk bread. 

“Well, are you used to hugging your partner?” Ni-ki defends himself and watches with an evil cackle as Sunghoon slows his chewing and a bright red colour creeps up his face, from below his neckline all the way to the tip of his ears. Loser. Ni-ki totally relates. 

“That’s completely different!” Sunghoon argues and slaps a hand between Ni-ki’s shoulder blades to show him just how different they are. Ni-ki? Ni-ki would never beat someone up. Anymore. “Hugs are too… friendly. After a few years together, you either go full affection or you just let it be. Why would I hug him when he can also sit in my lap?” 

Now, it’s Ni-ki’s face that turns a bright red. 

The idea of Jungwon sitting on his lap… is doing things to him that are too embarrassing to think about. One thing is for sure—he wouldn’t hate it. Jungwon looks like a great person to wrap one’s arms around him from behind. Like a little teddy bear. 

“Hey, can you breathe again? I don’t want to be responsible for your death.”

Ni-ki gasps for breath. But really, if he’d stopped breathing, it definitely would’ve been Sunghoon’s fault for planting that idea in his head. Ni-ki was only talking about hugs, why did Sunghoon have to bring up laps? Oh god. Oh dear god. 

“Jungwon-hyung…” Ni-ki mutters, crazed, and stuffs his half of the milk bread into his mouth, “In my lap…” 

It's outrageous and dangerous to think about. Ni-ki still has to pick up Jieun later, and how will he look her in the eyes without any shame when all he can think about is how cute and fluffy her father would be in his arms. As he sits on his laps, bracketing his thighs with his own. With his cute butt. 

“Okay!” Sunghoon decides and jumps up from the bench, “Time to pick up Jieun. I can drive you to her preschool.” 

He grabs Ni-ki by the shoulders and drags him to the showers first and to his car second. Ni-ki's hair is dripping shower water all over the expensive leather seat. Usually, Sunghoon would scold him for it but he seems to be elsewhere with his head as well. 

They arrive in front of the preschool gates and just sit there for a while, stewing in silence as thoughts of pretty men in their laps swirl around their heads. 

Ni-ki's already like this from just hugging. 

But being able to feel Jungwon's body pressed against his chest, to bury his nose in the hair at the back of his head and smell his shampoo, to wrap his arms around him and truly feel just how small his waist is in comparison to Ni-ki's… He's not sure if he would ever survive that. 

The bell rings. 

Oh. Ni-ki's never been early enough to hear the bell dismissing the children before. Curiously, he turns his head to look out of the window. Jieun's obviously not the first kid to come out, nor is she the second. He waits in the car for her. 

“Are you not gonna get out?” Sunghoon asks him like he can't wait to get rid of Ni-ki and surprise his partner with a surprise lap sitting moment. 

“Can't you give us a ride to her place?” Ni-ki asks with a pout and gives Sunghoon his best puppy eyes. 

“I don't have a booster seat,” he immediately interjects, shooting him down. “It's dangerous for her.” 

“You're literally the safest driver in our friend group,” Ni-ki deadpans, “I trust you with her.”

“Do you even get to make that call?” Sunghoon squeaks nervously and grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. 

But of course Ni-ki does. Jungwon didn't call it ‘co-parenting’ for nothing, did he? 

“They live close by,” Ni-ki reassures him and keeps an eye out for Jieun. Maybe he can step out already so she will be able to see him sooner, too. 

“Okay,” Sunghoon takes a deep breath and adjusts his grip on the steering wheel again, tapping his fingers against it to release some of his excess nervous energy, “I got this. She’ll be fine.” 

Whatever mantra Sunghoon has to recite to calm himself down, Ni-ki steps out of the car and leaves him to it by himself. It's been a few seconds and Jieun should come out in a bit. Ni-ki wants to surprise her by showing up early for once and letting her experience the wonders of getting a car ride. 

Jieun is one of the kids that floods out of the building in the second wave. She’s carrying a thick book in her little arms, already walking towards the same stairs that she usually sits on while she waits for Ni-ki. The sight is so adorable, he has to hold back a squeal.

Now, he’s the one waiting for her. And he waits for a while. Jieun is unbothered and undeterred, obliviously sitting down on the stairs and opening her book. She didn’t see him.

“Jieun!” 

Ni-ki jogs up to her with a wide grin, already opening his arms to greet her with a hug. She looks out at the sound of her name being called, spotting Ni-ki now that she’s actually looking for him. Her whole face lights up when she sees him. 

“Papa!” 

Jieun can barely close her book fast enough before Ni-ki’s reached and tackled her into a tight hug, wrapping her arms around her fragile body and lifting her off the ground. She squeals in delight and this, this is the best moment of being her babysitter. Hearing her laugh and making her happy is something Ni-ki wouldn’t give up for a better paying part time job. 

“You’re so early!” she exclaims giddily when he puts her down again. She has to crane her neck to look up at him, so Ni-ki crouches down to make it easier for her. 

“They cancelled my class,” he explains to her and helps her pack her book into her backpack, “So me and a hyung came to pick you up early.” 

“A new oppa!?” 

Ni-ki has to bite back a laugh when she perks up at the mention of a possibly new person she can meet. At the same time, her extrovertness is a bit worrisome. Doesn’t she have some sense of stranger danger? That’s one of the first things Ni-ki’s parents taught him once he got old enough to talk to people. 

Oh, well. It’s just Sunghoon and he came with Ni-ki. How much of a danger could he pose to Jieun? 

“Yeah, he’s waiting for us,” he tells her and takes her by the hand. Or rather, he lets her wrap her hands around his index finger. “There, in the car.” 

Jieun gasps at the sight of Sunghoon’s car, which makes sense. It’s flashy and—to be completely honestly speaking—eccentric and the kind of car that screams “I got money!” which couldn’t be further from the truth. Sunghoon might be well-off and only has to work one part time job, but he’s certainly not that kind of rich. Unless it’s a smart investment, he’s stingy with his money. 

Ni-ki takes her by the hand and walks over with her. Through the window, he can see Sunghoon with his eyes closed, slumped in his seat with his head pressed against his steering wheel. His mouth is moving like he’s still reciting his mantra. It doesn’t seem to be working. 

“Here, I’ll take your backpack.” Ni-ki helps Jieun slip out of her backpack before opening the door to the backseat. “And up we go.” 

He hoists her up with ease, watching her climb onto the seat carefully so her shoes won’t dirty it. Then, she kicks her feet with a giggle while Ni-ki puts her backpack on the floor in front of her. Her shoes don’t even touch it, that’s how far back she has to sit on the seat. 

“Hello, oppa,” she chirps a greeting, turning to the driver’s seat, “Thank you for taking us home—oh!” 

Jieun perks up when Sunghoon turns in his seat with a pained smile to look back at and greet her. They lock eyes and freeze. Something weird happens. Sunghoon blinks at her, Jieun blinks back at him. Ni-ki looks from his roommate to his metaphorical baby with a big question mark floating above his head. 

“Hyung?” he carefully calls out. Sunghoon’s so busy staring at Jieun like he’s never seen a child before that he can only manage a distracted sound in response. “Is everything okay?” 

“Huh? Uh…” Sunghoon keeps blinking dumbly, staring at Jieun with wide eyes. She gives him a curt nod and presses her lips into a thin line. “Yeah. Hi, Jieun. Ni-ki told me a lot about you.” 

“Hello, handsome oppa!” she greets him again, attempting a bow while sitting. It’s so adorable that even Sunghoon can’t help but giggle, turning back around in his seat while Ni-ki closes the door for Jieun and climbs into the passenger seat. He’s muttering something under his breath but Ni-ki can’t hear him. Whatever. Sunghoon’s always been a little weird. 

“How was preschool today?” Ni-ki asks Jieun as Sunghoon starts up the motor again. The car starts rolling as Jieun starts retelling her entire day from the moment she woke up until Ni-ki picked her up from preschool. Ni-ki asks follow-up questions, engaging in her story, making sure she knows he’s listening. 

Sunghoon meanwhile almost runs a red light, neither paying attention to Jieun nor the traffic. By the time he drops them off at Jungwon’s apartment a few minutes later, nobody got hurt but Sunghoon is visibly shaken. 

“Are you okay?” Ni-ki asks him after he helped Jieun climb out of the car again, “You look a bit… paler than usual.” 

“I gotta go somewhere,” Sunghoon sounds rushed, breathless, “Pick you up later?” 

“Uh, sure,” Ni-ki agrees, “Thank you, hyung.” 

He can barely close the door before Sunghoon pulls out of the driving lot again, speeding off like wherever he needs to be can’t wait for him. 

Well, that was strange. 

—

Jieun is an angel with barely any screen time, which is a wonder in this time and age. She does have some. She can watch her favourite show and while Ni-ki would let her watch TV some more so he can at least finish the paragraph of his assignment that he’s working on, she has no interest in anything but her show. By the time the credits roll, she’s already grabbed the remote to turn off the TV by herself and picked up one of her books. 

Honestly, Ni-ki hit the jackpot babysitting her. She seems perfectly content just sitting next to him on the floor and quietly reading her book, snuggling up to his shoulder with a happy laugh. 

Manifesto climbs over and around their feet, chasing an invisible toy but otherwise not disturbing either of them until she’s apparently caught her target and decides it’s now time to curl up on Ni-ki’s other side and squishing her face against his thigh. She stretches her little legs and purrs when he scratches her between the ears. 

Just two fluffy babies cuddled up to him. Ignoring his assignment for school, he’s living the dream life. 

“Your homework is so long,” Jieun comments after a while. It’s not dinner time just yet but she just finished reading her book for the day, closing it carefully and placing it next to Ni-ki’s notebook, “Is it hard?” 

“It’s okay,” he hums even though this assignment has been giving him a headache for a week now, “I study hard so it’s easy.” 

“Can I watch?” she asks, already climbing into his lap. She already knows that his answer would’ve been a ‘yes’. Smart girl. “Oh, that’s so many words!” 

Jieun leans back until her back is pressed against Ni-ki’s chest, putting her feet between his thighs. Her eyes fly over his screen while she tries to understand what he’s writing but, honestly? Not even Ni-ki knows. At this point, he's just been reciting whatever's been crammed into his head. The education system is truly cruel to people with bad memory. 

He wraps one of his arms around Jieun to pull her closer to his chest and adjust her into a more comfortable position. 

And then he realises, she's sitting in his lap. She chooses to sit there. On her volition. And if she trusts him enough to be close to him, then who else… Let's not lie here. This is about Jungwon. 

“Do you understand it?” he asks her curiously, lowering his head to look at her concentrated face. It's really hard not to start cooing at her pout. 

“No,” she sighs and slumps against his chest, picking up Manifesto to move her into her lap, “You know so many big words. It's too hard. My head needs a break.” 

“You wanna take a nap before dinner?” he suggests softly, moving his hand from around her waist to pat her head. 

“Hm!” She nods eagerly but makes no attempt to get off Ni-ki's lap. But when Ni-ki looks over her shoulder, she already has her eyes closed, nuzzling into his outstretched arm to get comfortable and rest against something. 

Okay. 

Okay, she's napping on him. 

And it's not like she's never done this before. The first time she ever took a nap while Ni-ki was babysitting her was on the very same couch he’s leaning against, on top of him. 

She must be really comfortable with him. It never fully set in until now that he's become hyper aware of just how touchy he is with people, and how often it's reciprocated. Ni-ki would never say no to a hug, but when has he ever been hugged? 

And no, Jake still doesn't count. He can't keep his hands to himself, that creep. 

“You’re a little cuddle bug, aren’t you?” he teases her a little, moving her head so she can rest it against his chest instead. She frowns, still with her eyes closed, and shakes her head. 

“‘m not a bug,” she murmurs and crosses her arms in front of her chest. Manifesto takes that as an opportunity to climb up her front and settle in her arms, curling up into her elbow with a quiet kitten purr. 

Even now, no attempt has been made to get to her bed or on the couch whatsoever. Jieun seems perfectly fine taking a nap on Ni-ki, and she didn’t feel like she had to ask him. Clearly, she’s comfortable in his lap, so Ni-ki also makes no attempts to move her. 

This is how Jungwon finds them when he comes home just a few minutes before Ni-ki was going to wake Jieun up for dinner. 

“Welcome back,” Ni-ki greets him quietly as to not wake Jieun up just yet. His legs have fallen asleep, so he wouldn’t be able to get up anyway. The best he can do is nod at Jungwon, frozen in the door while one of his legs is lifted in the air so he can take off his shoes better. 

“Hii,” Jungwon says back as he toes off his shoes and puts them on the shoe rack, “Had dinner yet?” 

“No, I was gonna wake her up in a bit for it,” he answers and glances back at his assignment. He’s made a lot of progress on it but it’s still not done. Jay will probably let him finish it during his morning shift tomorrow. “You’re back early.” 

“They wanted to go out for drinks again,” Jungwon shudders, pulling a grimace at the thought of it. Ni-ki laughs quietly. His face is so cute. “Stay there, I’ll heat up dinner.” 

“Not like I have much of a choice,” Ni-ki jokes, looking down at the top of Jieun’s head. She’s still soundly asleep, caged in by his arms around her. Manifesto, too, hasn’t moved in a while. She must be taking a nap as well. 

“She’ll be clingy when you wake her up,” Jungwon warns him with a soft laugh and sticks his head into the fridge to rummage through it in his search for the meals he prepared for them. 

There it is again. That domestic vibe Ni-ki gets lost in while he daydreams about moving in together and making his standing in Jieun and Jungwon’s life official. Seal the deal. Marry into the family. Whatever it’s called. Point is, Ni-ki wants this to be his life. He can still be a broke student working two part time jobs and his rent can still be ridiculously high for all he cares—as long as Jungwon can come home to him and Jieun and they take care of their little family together. 

Sooha’s really missing out. 

“Jieun,” Ni-ki coos when the microwave makes a pinging noise for the first time, “Jieun, don’t you wanna greet your appa and have dinner?” 

She mumbles some incomprehensible nonsense and turns her head, throwing her legs over to the side. Her bony shoulder digs awkwardly into Ni-ki’s chest but at least it’s not painful like when Jake does it. However, she’s now facing the kitchen where Jungwon waits at the microwave with a fond smile pushing out his cheeks. When her eyelashes flutter as he tries to crack open her eyes, she gasps, startling Manifesto awake. 

“Appa!” she cheers, unmoving, “You’re having dinner with us?” 

“Yeah,” Jungwon leaves the microwave to walk over to them and kneel down in front of Jieun, pulling her into a tight hug and pressing a kiss to her chubby cheek, “Hi, princess. Had a good nap?” 

“The best nap!” she boasts proudly. Between Jieun and Jungwon, Manifesto makes a confused sound at being woken up so suddenly until Jungwon pulls away from the hug and she can jump to freedom and zoom around the living room. 

Jieun, still, remains seated in Ni-ki’s lap. She turns around so they’re facing each other and wraps her short arms around his neck with a content hum, snuggling to his collarbone. 

So this is what Jungwon meant by being clingy. 

The microwave pings for the second time. Jungwon rises to his full height which—with Ni-ki sitting on the floor—makes him seem taller than he usually looks and returns to the kitchen. He lets Ni-ki and Jieun stay on the ground for a while longer and starts to set the table, preparing a quick dinner of curry. 

‘That’s husband material.’

‘Can you chill.’

‘Husband.’

‘Okay, no chill then.’

Ni-ki tries his best to distract himself by rubbing Jieun’s back and hugging her tighter to his chest. She’s really cuddly. He almost didn’t expect it with how independent she usually is. If Jungwon was also a cuddly child? 

“Come eat at the table,” Jungwon tells them firmly when the microwave dings for the last time, putting the steaming hot bowl down at Ni-ki’s spot. He puffs his cheeks out when Jieun just mumbles something inaudible again. “Jieun, don’t nap longer, you won’t be tired for your bedtime.” 

“Can you read for me later?” she just asks, ignoring all of the parenting Jungwon is trying to do. 

Jungwon snorts in amusement when, even Ni-ki carefully gets up, she doesn’t let go of him and makes him carry her over to the dining table. He shakes his head with a sigh but his lips curl upwards into a fond smile. 

“Sure,” he gives in and helps Ni-ki get Jieun into her seat, “But eat first.” 

“Okay.” 

Even half asleep, Jieun is a good eater. But she’s still clingy so one of her hands reaches out and fists into Jungwon’s sleeve, holding onto it tightly while they try to eat like that. Otherwise, she eats quietly until her plate is clean and she’s about to fall asleep again. 

Ni-ki ushers her into the bathroom while Jungwon does the dishes and helps her to wash up and get ready for bed. She needs a stool to reach the sink and when she’s done brushing her teeth, all she does is stretch out her arms and make grabby hands at Ni-ki until he picks her up and carries her to her bed. He barely laid her down when she’s out like a light. Looks like she didn’t need a bedtime story. 

[+]

Private Chat: Heeseung hyung

how busy are you guys rn

dying

ok

i’m still dropping by

i want ramyeon

who are you

my jungwonie would never be this bossy to me

please? uwu

that was horrifying

never do that again

i’m making it mild

thank youuu ^^

The harsh white light of Heeseung’s convenience store stings painfully in Jungwon’s eyes. Just because he can’t sleep doesn’t mean he’s not tired and his eyes don’t feel exceptionally heavy and sensitive. 

He did come because he wanted some ramyeon long after midnight but he also has an experiment to conduct. It’s something that’s been on his mind a lot lately, and he was hoping that maybe a late night walk would help him clear his mind but so far, he’s been unsuccessful. Clearly, this screams for more drastic measures. 

“Hey,” Heeseung greets him and walks out from behind the counter, “I put your ramyeon on the table with a chocolate milk—” 

Jungwon wraps his arms around his waist to give him a hug instead of a greeting. Heeseung freezes for a heartbeat, caught off guard, before he wraps his arms around Jungwon’s neck and puts his head on his shoulder. 

“Oh, okay,” he says with a confused laugh, “Are we hugging now? Cool. You okay?” 

Jungwon wordlessly squeezes his sides, giving him an experimental squish. They’re about the same height but their physical builds are vastly different so it’s only natural that the hug will also feel different. Heeseung runs a lot warmer and his waist isn’t as small while his shoulders aren’t as broad. He also smells different, which is probably a given. 

“You smell like wet wipes,” he sniffles and pulls away. 

“Thank you?” Heeseung tilts his head and blinks at Jungwon with his ridiculously big, sparkling eyes in confusion. He looks tired as well but the store is bustling with people even at this ungodly hour and Jay’s going to get grey hair from how fast he tries to scan the customer’s purchases. “Jungwon, seriously, are you okay?” 

Jungwon wraps his jacket around himself with a quiet sniffle and gives Heeseung a distracted nod. Weird. Usually, the warmth lingers for a while. 

“I had to see something,” he mutters under his breath and heads to the table where the food Heeseung prepared is waiting for him. “Can you tell Jay-hyung to come over when he’s free?” 

“Sure?” 

Heeseung basically runs to the cash register to relieve Jay of his cashier duties and basically shoves him to the front of the store again. Whatever he says to him in a hushed tone, it seems urgent and is obviously about Jungwon’s weird behaviour. Jay hurries over with a worried frown.

“Hyung said you’re being weird,” Jay greets him, meeting Jungwon where he lingers around the table. He hasn’t sat down yet because he already knew ‘when he’s free’ will make Heeseung send Jay over immediately. “Something up—?” 

Jay, too, is quickly engulfed in a hug. 

‘Hm,’ Jungwon thinks and pulls back with a frustrated huff, ‘That’s still not it.’

Chapter Text

Ni-ki's always dressed for cold weather but even he's surprised by the strong gust of wind that hits him in the face when he walks out of the campus building. He didn't realise it before but he stepped right into the autumnal world, unaware that the seasons have already changed.

It's cold out today. Not even the leather jacket he's wearing over his hoodie helps when his calves are exposed in his shorts down to where his boots finally start to cover his ankles. 'Fashion over practicality' is really kicking his ass now. But what else is he supposed to wear? Thigh highs don't make his legs look good. Trust him, he's tried and failed miserably.

Either way, he feels bad walking out of school today.

Exam season is coming up and, between all his jobs, Ni-ki doesn't feel prepared enough to sit in a single one that will make up more than twenty percent of his grade for the semester—which is about all of them. God, he should've chosen more selectives.

It's just his luck, he supposes, that today's a Friday. He got the dates for his exams at the start of the semester already so he could plan his shifts and time off better. That was before his rent went up and he had to pick up a second job. But today! Today, Jungwon said he'd come home early for dinner so they could discuss how they'll do it during his exam prep and exam season.

Which means he'll get to hang out with Jungwon for a bit longer today, too. Unpaid, yes, but he has a night shift anyway and has to bridge the time somehow.

The cold wind slashes across his face as he skates to Jieun's preschool, harsh and unforgiving. He hopes Jieun's dressed better than he is.

Thankfully, he spots her in a bright white, fluffy jacket. He didn't even realise that she'd gone from cute dresses to longer pants and then, finally, longsleeved shirts and jackets. Jungwon sure does a good job at keeping her warm.

'Oh my god,' he realises as he comes closer, 'It's a sheep jacket.'

Which fits. Her name's Yang Jieun after all. But god does she look cute, Ni-ki almost wants to run up to her and tackler her into a bear hug. Cuteness aggression can be so cruel to adorable little things like Jieun or her dad.

Ni-ki just isn't allowed to think about Jungwon in a sheep jacket. Or any big, fluffy jackets. With his curly bangs hanging in his face and his cheeks pushed out in a dimpled grin and big, round, sparkly eyes—No! Nope. He's not even going there. Pure thoughts, Ni-ki. Pure thoughts.

"Papa!"

Jieun happily jumps up and runs up to him. Her red backpack bops with every little skip in her step and—dear god, she's so fucking cute, Ni-ki's going to combust—rattles loudly even from a few steps away. She hops straight into his arms with a happy squeak and squishes her cheek against his once he lifts her up, loud, childlike laughter dying down into sweet little giggles. Looks like at least someone's having fun in the education system, and it's not Ni-ki.

"Hii, little one," he coos quietly and hugs her close. He'll definitely miss her during exam season, basically the last few weeks before she'll start school. Well, and then some more. His semester ends a lot earlier than hers. But the point still stands! "Are you ready to go home?"

"Yes," she looks at Ni-ki with the same grin as always as he sets her down before she wraps her hand around two of his fingers. "Manifesto was naughty this morning so appa's scared for the apartment."

Oh shit.

"Sure sounds like we should be worried," he agrees with a nervous chuckle, "Should we hurry back?"

"Appa turned off the heater," Jieun shakes her head and tugs him along, off the school grounds and onto their way home, "So she'll be asleep in my bed."

It's just an excuse, he realises a few moments later, to drag Ni-ki to Heeseung's store and beg him for some candy. Frankly, she doesn't have to beg him. Heeseung's weak to anything cute, and Jieun, with the hood of her fluffy sheep jacket pulled up to frame her round face, is simply to melt for.

"Look at you!" Heeseung gushes in a high-pitched voice and runs around the cash counter to lift Jieun into the air and twirl her around, "You're a little sheep!"

"I am!" she agrees with a giggle and wraps her short arms around his neck, "Appa dressed me today."

"Good fashion sense," Heeseung comments with a quiet giggle and sets her back down on the floor. "Are you here to stock up on your snacks? We got a new brand of jellies if you wanna try them."

Jieun zooms off to the snack aisle with a loud cheer, gone before Ni-ki can blink and stop her. He stays at the cash counter and lets Heeseung hand him a strawberry milk with the straw already punched in to wait for her to come back. He's really going to miss this once he'll have to put all of his attention to his exams and presentations.

Fuck, he still has to think of a lesson plan to present.

Frankly, most of his exams and presentations are for his main subject Korean—arts is so much easier to prepare as he only has to plan simple arts and crafts projects and explain why and how they foster hand mobility and eye to hand coordination—but since he's going to be an elementary school teacher, he has to be efficient in basic maths and physics and social studies and music and ethics as well.

In short, it's a neverending nightmare he wouldn't have to live through had he just stuck to dancing.

…

The one class he held was a hit, too. It was sold out! Too bad all of that money was to pay for his flight to Korea and the deposit for his room at the house. He should've stayed irresponsible for just a little while longer, dammit!

"How's studying going?" Heeseung asks him, which is clearly meant to be teasing. Not everyone's lucky enough to get a convenience store from their parents and actually make it their passion.

"Great," Ni-ki grumbles and bites down on his straw. "Where's Jay-hyung? Isn't it his shift right now?"

"Called in sick," Heeseung sighs with a shrug and wipes an imaginary tear away from his eye, "Poor me. Two shifts in a row before my part timer can relieve me of my duties."

"He's sick?" Ni-ki ignores the jab pointed at him and knits his eyebrows in concern. It's unlike Jay to catch a cold. He's the first person after Ni-ki to take out the warmer clothes and cozy up in oversized hoodies and jackets and cardigans. "He seemed fine yesterday."

"Really dry throat," he nods mournfully and sighs again before rounding the cash counter again and plopping down on the stool, "He could barely talk. Sounded miserable."

And then, because it's Jay, Heeseung mimics the sound of a croaking frog to tease him—in spirit, since Jay isn't here. Ni-ki tries hard not to laugh because it's kind of mean but he fails miserably because, yeah, that is what Jay sounds like when he's sick.

"The jellies here?" Jieun pops back up with a huge bag of jellies in her arms. They're cherry-lemon-flavoured and, just like everything in Korea, zero sugar. And, again, huge. She's holding a whole kilo of jellies in her little arms. "Papa, help me, please. I have money in my backpack."

Ni-ki takes the bag of jellies out of her arms and puts it on the counter. Usually, knowing Heeseung, he would just pretend to scan the item but since Jieun is already rummaging through her backpack for her little wallet with a cat on it, he does end up scanning it. Teach them money managing early, and all that responsible parent stuff.

She pays with a few coins and a whole banknote, giggling in excitement while Heeseung counts her money and gives her the change with a proud smile, almost like he's her dad.

"There you go, little customer," he sends her off and pats her head, "You can already add up money!"

"Appa taught me!"

—

True to her words, Manifesto's happily curled up in Jieun's bed when they arrive home. Ni-ki only entered her bedroom to put the jacket away while Jieun washes her hands and is greeted by a happy meow coming from her pillow. Manifesto's nose is stuck under the pillow because she's cold. She makes q uiet purring sound.

"Aww, baby," Ni-ki coos quietly and walks up to the bed to crouch down next to it. He scatches her between the ears and melts on the inside when she closes her eyes happily and purrs even louder. "Keep sleeping. We'll just be outside."

He gets back up and tries to leave as quietly and slowly as possible as to not disturb her. But Manifesto has other plans. She gets up with a protesting cry and follows him, trotting after him with her tail held high. She's kind of like Jieun after a nap. It's cute. It's so fitting, that she's just like Jieun.

"Papa!" Jieun calls from the living room. Speak of the devil—or, in her case, angel.

She's sitting on the couch with her book for her daily readings already on the couch, the bag of jellies opened next to her. When Ni-ki steps around the corner of the hallway, she wriggles her little feet in excitement and stretches a handful of jellies out to him.

"Let's share!" she offers, "They're really yummy. Ah, Manifesto!"

Manifesto meows happily and runs up to her. She's still too small to jump up the couch to climb into Jieun's lap so the best she can do is claw her way up the couch like a mountaineer with her hind legs dangling below her. Jieun only helps her once she's within the reach of her short arms—without having to get off the couch herself.

Ni-ki would help, of course. But he has a tight schedule, and he needs to read thirty pages in the next ten minutes, then take a two-minute break to fully process what he's read, then take his notes within ten minutes and pour over them. And that, for the next few hours.

"Thanks, Jieun," he carefully takes the few jellies—three, Jieun can only fit three jellies in her tiny baby hand—and plops down on the floor next to her. Her leg knocks against his shoulder softly and she apologizes even though he barely felt it. Truly, she's a little angel. Ni-ki should hurry up and graduate so he can get a job and prove to Jungwon that he can provide for a family. On a teacher's salary.

First, graduating.

"You're busy?" he twists his neck to look at Jieun while he sets up his study material.

"Yes," she confirms and nods diligently, "I read for one hour and then I have homework. And then, I can read more."

Seriously, what kind of parenting style is Ni-ki missing out on on the weekends because it's doing wonders. This has to be some kind of miracle child. Or Jungwon is really, really good with children—which is hot.

No! Focus. He has to focus.

"Very good," he smiles at her, "Come down so we can do our homework together, yeah?"

"Okay, papa!" She grins at him widely before she flips her book up and immediately starts her reading time. Manifesto takes that chance to curl up in her lap and snuggle up there, purring quietly as she goes back to napping.

Jieun's far more disciplined than Ni-ki but to his defense, he didn't know how to study until his last year of high school. He never bothered to learn how to learn and now, it's come to bite him in the ass. That, and he can't sit still for a prolonged amount of time. But such is the life of a student. What he wouldn't give to be a little kitten taking a nap after he woke up from another nap.

But no. He has to do his own reading and create a lesson plan from it.

It's fairly easy, considering that he's been taking notes all semester long but the tricky part is putting his notes to use. Design effective learning activities? Teaching strategies? There's too much too consider. If Ni-ki does it wrong, he'll just wander off into child development—but that's part of lesson planning to consider!

It doesn't help that his lesson plan is supposed to be about the very first lesson for first graders in Korean.

The easiest parts are, as expected, the header and the materials. But the moment Ni-ki reaches the lesson activities, his mind just blanks. He has no idea how to make Korean interesting for students, much less elementary students.

Worst of all, he can't test it out on Jieun because she probably reads at a third grade level already thanks to Jungwon.

So even the exploration for whatever topic he chooses will be difficult. If he wants to do one for first graders, he also can't test that on her. She already knows the basic hangul, and all the basic vocabulary. She literally read him the word 'proletariat' as a preschooler!

Okay. Maybe, if he wants to test his lesson plans for Korean, he just has to set the bar higher.

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung !

hyung

this is gonna sound weird

but i need to make a lesson plan for Korean

and i need a test subject

do you really need to test it or do you just wanna teach jieun something hahaha

or is it

procrastination

…

yes.

put one together first

the parenting books gave me a few tips so i think i can look over it

!!!

okay!

thank you <3

Ni-ki almost slams his head into the coffee table. The heart was a mistake, he didn't mean to send that. Honest!

'Okay. Deep breaths.'

'You sent a damn heart, you idiot.'

'Let's focus on the lesson plan.'

'How? You literally sent a heart! To Jungwon-hyung!'

'Lesson plan!'

'Heart!'

'I should've never picked up the phone…'

Needless to say, Ni-ki's study schedule has gone off the rails.

—

Jungwon comes home early.

Jieun's already finished her homework without any help from Ni-ki and back to reading, still on the floor with her head resting against his arm. Manifesto's now curled around her neck, still napping and meowing in her sleep.

Ni-ki has no idea how to feel.

Originally, they agreed that Ni-ki would always babysit until 8 pm but he's back by 6 pm. That's two hours less that Ni-ki gets paid, which is bad, but more hours he can spend with Jungwon before his shift, which is… a dilemma. On one hand, Ni-ki's glad. Jungwon's fun to be around and he agreed to help him with his lesson plan. On the other hand, he's so distracted by Jungwon moving through the apartment and taking care of Jieun that he can't focus on his studies at all.

Worst of all, Jungwon suddenly whips out glasses to go over the lesson plan Ni-ki created.

Glasses. Since when does he wear glasses?

"They're blue light glasses," Jungwon explains with a shy giggle when he notices Ni-ki staring, "No prescription."

Then, he scoots even closer to Ni-ki to look at the screen even though he pushed it closer to him and sticks his hand into the still open bag of jellies. It feels like a dream, being surrounded by so much warmth from a little family that Ni-ki isn't part of (yet). At the same time, his breath hitches when Jungwon's fluffy hair tickles his cheek. He's sitting that close to him.

Jungwon acts the same as always. Familiar and comfortable, like Ni-ki didn't send him a heart just a few hours ago. Must be nice! Unlike him, Ni-ki doesn't have a single nonchalant bone in his body. No. He's freaking out right now!

"I think that's good," Jungwon leans back against the couch and takes off his glasses again, "That's how I taught Jieun."

"You're stealing my job, hyung," Ni-ki accuses him jokingly. "They're not supposed to be able to read full books until the end of the first semester, you know?"

Jungwon giggles sheepishly like he got caught stealing candy. But that can't be. Jieun offered her jellies to him after all and he's been eating them between chatting with Jieun, playing with Manifesto and helping Ni-ki.

Ah right. The hangul.

"She just saw me editing books a lot," he explains, "And I get first editions. Around last year or so, I got a lot of children's books and she… she just grabbed one and flipped through the pages. So I thought I'd teach her. She got it crazy fast. Isn't that right, princess?"

He reaches over Ni-ki's lap to rub her tummy, something that Ni-ki's been holding back on doing to him, too. It almost seems like he's subconsciously mocking him. Life can be so cruel.

"Appa taught me well!" she agrees with a proud chuckle, "Teacher said I read better than first graders!"

So Ni-ki's assessment earlier was right. She does read above first grade level.

"And she can add up money," Ni-ki remembers. At that, Jungwon perks up and turns his head to him with his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"I didn't teach her that," Jungwon denies. "I mean, I gave her some pocket money—Jieun?"

"It's easy!" she gloats and holds up the bag of jellies. "This was 1.700 won. So it's 1.000 won, then 500 won and two 100 won. Lot's of wonies!"

Ni-ki stares at Jungwon who stares at Jieun. His mouth falls open, he's speechless. He just found out his child is probably gifted and teaching herself math, and he's speechless. Honestly, Ni-ki's also speechless. He also never taught her any math, not even basic addition. Where on earth did she pick that up?

"Is it in one of the children's books?" Jungwon mutters under his breath and pulls his arm away from her, sitting back down on both of his buttcheeks with crossed arms. He frowns, deep in thought. "Do I take her shopping too much?"

On one hand, it's great that Jieun's so smart and can teach herself things. On the other hand, if she isn't properly academically challenged, she's going to drop off the curve. Who knew his education degree would come in handy for when his future adoptive daughter turns out to be gifted? Not that Ni-ki specifically chose this path because he knew he'd want to adopt one. But the point still stands!

"Jay-oppa showed me," she grins proudly, "He let me scan the items!"

Jungwon's frown falls. It makes place for an eerie, almost even scary, blank expression. Deadpan and not surprised, not even disappointed. Just a look that screams 'I'll scold him later' that Ni-ki hopes will never be directed at him. For now, he can only pray for his Jay-hyung. May he rest in peace.

"You know what?" Jungwon relents with a tired sigh and raises his hands in defeat. "That's my own fault for letting him watch you while I shop."

Jieun doesn't let her dad's clear distaste for her newfound mathematic talent deter her. She reaches into the bag of jellies for her—more or less deserved—reward and plops a jelly into her mouth. She chews obnoxiously loud, as if to mock Jungwon that she paid with her own money that she added up.

Ni-ki shouldn't have brought it up.

"Anyway," he clears his throat awkwardly, "Should we get started on dinner then? Since we're done with my lesson plan."

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Jungwon agrees with a small nod and takes the bag of jellies away from Jieun, "I got some stuff we should use up before it goes bad. This is what I get for buying the stuff on sale."

He clicks his tongue and gets up on his feet, offering Ni-ki his hand to pull him up. Jieun's already on her feet before either of them can ovver her any help, jostling Manifesto around her neck. Together, in a little line like ducklings following the mother duck, they trot into the kitchen.

Ni-ki doesn't really know what Jungwon plans to do with all the leftover ingredients he has—a bunch of vegetables, some cuts of meat, shrimps, a lot of ramyeon—but he's not here to be a chef. His tasks are easy. Wash and chop the vegetables, hand them to Jungwon on a plate. Jieun gets to stir the pots and pans while Jungwon zooms back and forth between her and Ni-ki and seasons the food.

They end up with a bunch of different side dishes and some ramyeon that Ni-ki would've never mixed together like that but, again, he's not here to be a chef. He's not even here to be a babysitter anymore since Jungwon is already back, so this is kind of weird.

It's too early to call each other friends, right? Hyung and dongsaeng at best but even that is almost too familar despite the fact that Ni-ki already gets to call Jungwon hyung. So there's that.

Even then, none of it will be familiar enough for Ni-ki. He wants to be Jungwon's boyfriend after all.

"Thank you for the meal," he says, echoed by Jieun's own, jumbled, "Thanks for the meal!"

Jungwon just smiles at them.

They eat in relative silence. Jieun makes a few comments about the food here and there and Ni-ki and Jungwon indulge her in her little chef moments but aside from that, there's no deep conversation happening.

By the time Jieun has to be tucked into bed, all of them are tired. She's the most obvious with her drowsy speech and sluggish movements as she brushes her teeth and lets Jungwon change her into pyjamas. Even Manifesto, who's arguably done nothing but sleep all day, can't seem to wait to curl up on Jieun's pillow and go back to even more sleeping.

"Night, appa," she mumbles as Jungwon lays her down and places a wet 'mwah' kiss on his cheek, "Night, papa."

"Good night, Jieun," Jungwon whispers and strokes a gentle hand over her forehead so she can close her eyes and fall asleep with a content sigh. He stays crouched next to her low bed for a few moments longer just to wait until he knows for sure that Jieun's knocked out for the night before getting up and ushering Ni-ki out of the bedroom.

He looks less glum than before and more… dejected.

"Are you going now?" he asks Ni-ki and follows him to the living room where all of his study material is still scattered across the coffee table.

"I should probably get going now, yeah," Ni-ki confirms sheepishly and packs his things in silence.

It should be unsettling, the way Jungwon just stands next to him quietly and watches him stuff his things into his backpack. His hand hovers over his laptop before he closes it.

"Thanks for the help," Ni-ki says. He doesn't dare to speak louder than a mumble, barely audible over his heartrate suddenly picking up and drumming behind his ears. "With, uh, the lesson plan. Always good to have someone else look over it, too."

"No problem," Jungwon shrugs nonchalantly. When he drops his shoulders, he shakes them as if to shake off a pesky feeling. "I mean, I'm not in this whole education thing at all but I know child development."

He snorts roughly like he just said something funny. And then, when Ni-ki rises to his full height again, he tips his head back to look up at him with a lopsided, dimpled smile.

"It's never boring with her, huh?" he muses and follows Ni-ki to the shoe rack at the door.

It's not just the weird, vulnerable atmosphere that has Ni-ki hesitate to put on his shoes. The moment feels… bubbly. Not in the 'happy' bubbly way but in the 'one wrong move and the bubble bursts' way, which is annoying. He's not that insecure. Ni-ki knows better than to be unsure of himself, even when he doesn't know where exactly he stands with Jungwon.

"I'll miss you, hyung," he murmurs quietly under his breath, admitting it more to himself than to Jungwon.

And yet, when Ni-ki's slipped on his shoes and opened the door, Jungwon pulls him into a tight hug with a shy giggle and replies,

"Yeah. Me, too."

—

Jay seems to be feeling better when Ni-ki shows up for his shift ten minutes early. As well as someone who's cozied up in a thin turtleneck and a hoodie can possibly feel.

Unlike usually when he and Jay share a shift, he's not sitting on the stool behind the cash register. In fact, Jay seems almost adamant on never sitting down like his butt would get an allergic reaction from the plastic of the stool. Instead, he scurries around the aisles like a squirrel on crack with his back hunched and cheks the shelves.

He doesn't notice Ni-ki walking in.

"Wassup," he greets him and delivers a playful slap to Jay's butt.

Jay's reaction is, again, very odd. He jumps out of his skin with a squeak instead of his usual, hearty yell and slaps Ni-ki's hand away, covering his butt with his hands. When he whips his head around to scold him, his cheeks are flushed a bright red.

He doesn't look very good. His hair's tousled like he just rolled out of bed when it's usually styled back and the rings under his eyes are sunken in and darker than his eye colour.

"Was that really necessary?" he hisses under his breath and rubs his bum.

Ni-ki's gaze wanders from Jay's ridiculously bright pink face to his open palm. He didn't even hit him that hard though?

"You okay?" he asks, more so out of courtesy than actual concern. This whole evening has been weird, and this is just one of many instances. "Sorry, I didn't know—"

He's not sure what exactly he should've been aware of here. It's not like he's never slapped Jay's ass before—like, who can resist? It's like staring at a stress ball and refusing to squeeze it with the only difference being that the stress ball can't playfully squeeze back.

"I'm okay," Jay grumbles and passes Ni-ki with quiet huffs, "Warn a dude. God."

"Heeseung-hyung said you were sick," Ni-ki slightly directs the conversation elsewhere, "Are you sure you don't wanna go home and rest? I can take this shift by myself."

"Did he say that?" Jay raises an eyebrow at him in confusion, "I asked if he could switch shifts with me so I can stay in bed a bit longer."

Ah. So he just wanted to sleep in.

Ni-ki shakes his head and cackles quietly. That makes a lot more sense for Jay. But honestly speaking, racking his head for any other explanations is too much work right now, and he still needs his brain. Exam season just started and he has lots of things to study and shove into his brain.

He pointedly ignores the bruise under Jay's turtleneck, a deep purple, like a hickey. Most likely a hickey. That's just none of his business.

"Okay," he simply moves on, "Then I'll take over the cash register."

Ni-ki throws his backpack into the same corner as always. A box of strawberry milk is already waiting for him, carefully stashed next to the cash register without the straw punched in. Honestly, it's weird but he doesn't have the mind to think about it right now. He still has flashcards about child development to make and a grades essay to finish that he has to submit by midnight and—

"Kill me right now."

He slams his head down on the counter with a groan.

It's his last shift before Heeseung's boyfriend subs for him during his exam season. This is a crucial time for him and he can't fall behind. But sometimes, it seems so much easier to just go Heeseung's way and work at the convenience store full-time without having to worry about grades. The pay though…

Honestly, the pay might be better than as a teacher. He's heard the horror stories. It would definitely be less taxing on his mental wellbeing to work at the convenience store and not have to worry about the individual development of each child in his class and their overbearing parents. Or open his own dance studio after all. He could definitely do it with a loan from maybe Jay or Heeseung, and it's not like Koreans don't want to dance. But he's already worked so hard to study education in Korea, there's simply no way back for him now.

"You got this," Jay walks around the counter and gives him an encouraging pat on the back. Big words for someone getting an economics degree. Even if he stopped now, he could live off his salary at the convenience store and the money from his parents. Too bad for Jay, Ni-ki supposes, that he's too humble for that. Whatever parenting style he was raised with, it must be amazing as well. Seriously, Ni-ki should get parenting tips from everyone.

"Jay-hyung," Ni-ki lazily turns his head, cheek still squished against the counter, "How would you raise a kid?"

Jay's reaction is immediate.

He sputters something intelligible and turns bright red, an even more concerning shade of it, too, until the colour disappears under the raised neckline of his turtleneck.

"Wha—What kinda question is that?!" he exclaims and buries his face in his hands in a futile attempt to hide it, "I'm not—We haven't even properly talked about having kids yet—Why are you asking me this?!"

Ni-ki blinks at him owlishly. This reaction is completely out of proportion for the kind of question he just asked. Shouldn't it be obvious that he's asking as Jieun's potential future second dad? Well, that, and he's genuinely just curious how Jay's parents raised him. It might be useful for a case study or something…

"Okay, okay, forget it," he sighs and waves him off. Jay's still fussing and blabbering his ears off, and Ni-ki should really get to his graded essay. "Sorry, I didn't mean to give you parenting panic."

Jay settles down again, at least verbally. His whole body language meanwhile screams 'Why would you suddenly ask me about being a parent?' like he'll ever have to worry about that. Like, seriously. It's not like he and his husband could accidentally adopt a kid. They'll have to do it just like Ni-ki, willingly and consciously. And preferably with the child's consent. It's important to let the kid choose, too.

Or maybe that's exactly where his parents went wrong. Ni-ki's sure that if they'd pushed just a bit more, he would've taken over the dance studio with his sisters instead of moving to Korea.

Heeseung did everything right taking over his parents' convenience store. He doesn't have to worry about exams or ringing up costumers' items while trying to work on an essay.

Speaking of customers—

Ni-ki's first customer of the night walks in.

—

Ni-ki's a horrible student, he realises a little too late.

It's already been two weeks of exam preparations and uploading essays to be graded and making flashcards and driving himself crazy. He takes the occasional break, but only when Sunghoon drags him to the gym more or less against his will or when Taki manages to convince him to play Animal Crossing for 'just an hour' that ends up taking the whole night.

His mind is elsewhere, all the time.

It's either with his family back in Japan every time one of his sisters sent him a playful 'Don't fail your exams!' or his mom sends him a genuine 'Do your best and take care!' with selfies of his whole family—each is a painful reminder that he wouldn't have to be studying if he'd just stayed in Japan and been just a little less ambitious with his future plans—or with Jungwon.

Honestly, he didn't expect to hear from Jungwon as often as he does but somehow, he gets a text from him at least twice a day. Every single one is just a selfie with Jieun, captioned with something sweet like 'Don't forget to drink lots!' or 'We're cheering you on!' or, worst of all, 'We're thinking of you. Take good care and don't forget to sleep <3' which is just… God, Ni-ki has to stare at every selfie for at least ten minutes. It's not creepy that he saves each and every single one of them in a dedicated folder, okay?! He just doesn't want to be constantly shown as online when he has to look at them for motivation!

It's already way past midnight when he forgets that he own said folder and gets caught red-handed.

Private Chat: jungwon hyung !

are you taking a break?

'Fuck!'

'Oh my god, what do we do, what do we do, what do we do—'

'Chill out. We could really just been taking a break!'

'On the phone? When we literally know that it basically resets every study progress?!'

'Please just reply something nonchalant and casual—'

Private Chat: jungwon hyung !

hahah, yeah

i've just been missing you a lot

so i was looking at the selfies you sent

… Well, so much to nonchalant and casual.

Ni-ki wants to scream into his pillow or climb on the roof and throw himself off of it with each and every second that the three dots appear next to Jungwon's little icon and disappear again before they eventually appear again. It's mockery. It's torture. Jungwon might just be toying with his heart for fun.

No, that's a mean thought. Jungwon is much kinder than that.

But seriously. Ni-ki's anxiety goes through the roof the longer Jungwon takes to reply. He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and flops down on his bed only to get up again and pace around his room in anticipation. This is killing him.

The exams and essays are already killing him but this is just twisting the knife in his chest for maximum damage to deliver the last blow to his poor heart. He's about to die from the palpitations if Jungwon doesn't send a message soon—which could be never, and Ni-ki would never even notice because he's lost all sense of time.

Only the dots and the chat jumping are an indication and even those have become irregular by now. Surely, he hasn't said anything too crazy.

It's just the truth.

He misses them like crazy. Jieun's little body added a nice weight to his side that always kept him grounded in the weeks leading up to his exam preparation phase, and she was always warm and cute. The noises she made were barely distracting enough to let Ni-ki know the passage of time, and even then, she was always pleasantly quiet as she tried to read his essay like she could understand them. It was cute. Ni-ki's been around her for so long now that he doesn't know how to spend his time after class without a kid around anymore.

And Jungwon.

Ni-ki misses Jungwon all the time because having a crush is funny like that. They barely spend any time together if any at all, but even those few moments, be it a goodbye at the door or making and having dinner together with Jieun, are cherished deeply. Jungwon just feels so… comfortable.

Not necessarily grounding. God knows that Ni-ki gets a little delusional around Jungwon with his daydreams of being a couple and raising Jieun together and living together.

Jungwon just brought the kind of quiet that Ni-ki needs at the end of the day to fall asleep peacefully.

Just not tonight.

Tonight, the silence, the lack of words, the message that's never sent, the dots that could mean everything and nothing, haunts Ni-ki as he lies in his bed wide awake, clinging to his phone like a lifeline.

"Don't you miss me, too, Jungwon-hyung?" he whispers into the dark room.

His question remains unanswered.

[+]

"Am I going crazy?"

Jungwon paces around his bedroom like a maniac. There's not enough space for that much activity, and it's by far not enough space to make up for the sudden feeling of being trapped that Jungwon can't seem to escape no matter how many times he hits his toes against the corner of his bedside table.

Private Chat: ni-ki :)

i've just been missing you a lot

He has no idea how to respond to that. 'We miss you too' is too generic. It's the truth, yes, because Jieun and he do miss him. Dinners have become more quiet, the walk home from Jieun's pre school has become slow and dragging even if they stop at the convenience store to bother a very ragged looking Jay or a cheerful Heeseung, evenings feel incomplete without a goodbye hug.

But 'I miss you too' is too… personal. Too vulnerable. Too raw.

It's still the truth. Jungwon's truth, and his truth alone, without Jieun. Which, first of all, he doesn't even know if Ni-ki excluded in the first place.

A plural you? A singular you?

Jungwon runs a hand through his hair with a broken groan. If this was a book, he could easily make a comment for clarification. Edit it for printing, possible misunderstanding for the reader, all of that.

But it's not a book. Ni-ki just sent a message, and Jungwon's blowing it out of proportion because he's stressed and going crazy and interpreting something into it that isn't there. That couldn't be there. Jungwon doesn't want it there. What Jungwon wants is a walk and a drink and numbingly spicy food to clear his sinuses and head.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a great idea. Possibly the first reasonable thought his brain has conjured up in the past… how long has it been? In the past two hours.

'Two hours?'

'Lying to courself for two hours.'

'It's not a lie, I just shouldn't overstep. This is a big step. A jump basically—'

'Into his arms, like usual?'

'You need to stop with that.'

Jungwon throws his phone on his sheets with a dampened thud just as the door creeks open.

"Appa?"

Jieun peeks into the room, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. He whips around to look at her and pull her into a hug—it's the middle of the night after all. If she's awake, then she must be unable to sleep.

He can have this… this crisis or whatever it is later. His priority is and will always be Jieun.

"Jieun," he exhales slowly. A weight lifts off his shoulders as he pushes his crisis into the back of his mind, where it belongs and where it should stay. "What time is it? Can't sleep?"

"Appa," she calls out again and opens her arm so Jungwon can crouch down and pull her into a tight hug, "Papa will come back, right?"

"Of course," his voice, already weak and shaky, cracks. She hugs him back, short arms wrapping around his neck as he carries her over to his bed and crawls in. "He'll be back before you know it."

Dear god.

Chapter Text

“I’m fucking freeeeee!”

Ni-ki has never thrown himself through the door and out of the main building of his campus faster than now. Which is, again, an exaggeration. He’s done it plenty of times, with lots of bruised shoulders to show because the doors are heavy, all because he stayed behind and asked too many questions before a shift or before picking up Jieun.

Speaking of Jieun—

It’s a Saturday. Whichever devil or demon or worst person in the whole education system established that college students are allowed to write their tests on a Saturday better burn in hell because now, Ni-ki can't even be on his happy way to throw himself into his usual routine of picking Jieun up, babysitting, having dinner with Jungwon and then going to Heeseung’s convenience. He’s still off work until Monday after a month and a half of torturous exam season so he can ‘rest for at least a day’, as Jay had put it.

But that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all!

Private Chat: jungwon hyung

Your last exam is on Saturday, right?

at 1 pm ㅠㅠ

wish me luck

it’s science of behaviour

Oh that sounds rough…

Are you gonna be dead after that one?

a bit early to look for my replacement when it hasn’t killed me yet

i pray not

Not replacing you!

Just checking if you’d feel like going out to eat dinner with me and Jieun afterwards?

My treat :)

Since you’ve been working hard

And Jieun really wants to try cheese grilled clams for some reason??

Jungwon invited him to have dinner together. Together! As a family! Ni-ki won’t have to live off instant ramyeon and stolen meat cuts from Sunghoon anymore which is better for everyone involved. Mostly Sunghoon. But he’ll live without that little food, and Ni-ki won’t.

Needless to say, Ni-ki’s underdressed. He’s in a very comfortable set of warm shorts and a big hoodie with a simple flower pattern and while it’s cool, it's not exactly something he’d wear to a dinner date, as non-fancy as the restaurant might be.

“Yo!” Sunoo leans out of his open window to wave at him from his car with a wide smile, “You survived?”

Easy for him to say. Ni-ki might’ve forgotten what exactly Sunoo studies but he has spent basically no time pulling all-nighters for almost two months to prepare. Even Sunghoon’s putting in more effort for his law degree, and Jake’s science degree isn't something that’s just handed out either.

“I gotta meet Sunghoon at the gym,” Ni-ki gasps and basically throws himself over the car’s hood to get to the passenger seat, “You know the way?”

Sunoo stares at him with a deadpan face, fluttering his eyelashes in a very unimpressed, judgemental manner full of Sunoo-like attitude. He taps on the car screen with a little more force than necessary and opens the navigator.

“The only time Jake-hyung went to the gym with you guys, he was complaining about sore arms for two whole weeks,” he points out, “And I don't need it.”

Fair point.

Ni-ki enters the address of his gym and leans back in the seat with his backpack on his lap. He cuddles it close to his chest like a pillow and closes his eyes. It’s going to be a long day, and if he wants to stag awake during his dinner date with Jungwon, he’ll have to take a nap now instead of later.

Although, trying to keep up with Sunghoon while tired probably isn’t the best idea either. But that’ll be Gym Ni-ki’s problem. Right now, he’s Nap Ni-ki.

—

Ni-ki should’ve anticipated that he’d leave the gym with jelly legs even after a refreshing cold shower.

Even Sunghoon, who came walking in like a zombie out of a bad movie, has more energy left than him despite breaking three personal records.

“Are you preparing for the apocalypse?” Ni-ki groans and collapses onto Sunghoon’s passenger seat like a sack of potatoes. He’s pumped up his muscles, which is nice, but the change of clothes that Sunghoon brought him, a basic, oversized hoodie and some comfortable jeans, hides it completely so there was no point. Shower water from the gym still trickles down the back of his neck.

“Just improving my stamina,” he answers as if in a daze and blinks robotically, “It’s still lacking.”

“It’s not like you’re gonna run a marathon any time soon,” Ni-ki mutters and buckles his seatbelt just moments before Sunghoon starts the motor. He offered to drive him to the restaurant he’ll meet Jungwon at, and Ni-ki’s grateful for every step he doesn't have to take.

“Something like that,” he shrugs and blinks owlishly as he pulls out of the parking lot.

It’s not that Ni-ki doesn’t trust Sunghoon’s driving skills. Out of all of them, considering that Ni-ki doesn't even have his license and Jake outright refuses to drive unless Sunoo is incapable, he’s the most considerate of his passengers’ lives.

However, Sunghoon seems to have an off day for once. Which makes sense. Every single time Ni-ki went downstairs in the middle of the night for a snack break or a tactical coffee between studying, Sunghoon’s light was turned on because he, too, was pulling all-nighters. Basically every day, and it still shows. Sunghoon’s eyes are sunken in and dark, almost like they’re trying to hide from sunlight. He almost swerves the car into incoming traffic.

“Can you please not kill me before I had my first date with Jungwon-hyung?” Ni-ki begs him and, for the first time since knowing Sunghoon, has to grab the assist handles to keep his balance in Sunghoon’s passenger seat.

“You’ll live,” he grunts in response, gripping the steering wheel tight enough for his knuckles to turn white, “I happen to have something to look forward to in life, too.”

“Graduation?” Ni-ki assumes and receives another, confirmative grunt, “You have your state exam after next semester, right?”

“Yeah,” he sighs deeply and flexes his fingers on the wheel, “And we have to move out. Lots of changes.”

Ni-ki doesn’t want to think about moving out. He’s been housemates with him, Sunoo and Jake for so long that they’ve become an indispensable part of his stay in Korea. For some reason, no longer sharing a home with them feels like he’ll go back to Japan even though he still has to graduate and get his teaching license. That’s another year and a half.

“Are you already looking?” Sunghoon asks him and turns a corner, “The housing market is crazy. My partner and I have been looking for ages.”

“You already want to move out?” Ni-ki accuses him and pouts. He’s only teasing, of course. If he were in Sunghoon’s place and his partner was Jungwon, he, too, would want to move in together soon. Especially since Sunghoon seems to have known his partner since childhood.

Still, Sunghoon doesn’t pick up on the playful tone in his voice and straightens up defensively, sputtering a useless excuse.

“I don’t mean it like that!” he glances at Ni-ki nervously, “I love you guys and everything but it’s different because my partner can’t move in and we’re not living together like Sunoo and Jake and we have, like, really high standards because the kitchen has to be big enough and we want kids so we can’t decide whether to get a bigger apartment right away—”

“Hyung,” Ni-ki cackles, slapping a hand onto his shoulder, “I was kidding. I get it.”

Sunghoon sighs yet again, deflating in his seat out of relief. He turns his head to glare at Ni-ki sternly at the next red light and says, “Dude. Never do that to me again.”

“No promises,” he jokes and flashes Sunghoon a grin. That’s when the light turns green again and Ni-ki escapes a scolding yet again. Call that maknae privilegues.

Sunghoon drops him off a block away from the restaurant. Firstly, because Ni-ki asked him to. He can’t let Jungwon see that he’s dependant on other people. And secondly, because Sunghoon apparently has other places to be that are more important than Ni-ki’s first ever family date outside of the apartment or the convenience store. Meanie.

At least he’s taking Ni-ki’s bags with him. The gym bag is a given. Since they always go together, his gym bag is basically always in Sunghoon’s trunk unless he wants to wash the clothes. The school bag is just another nice favour that Ni-ki now has to owe him back.

“Have fun,” Sunghoon tells him, with an almost teasing undertone to his voice. Like Ni-ki will not have fun because he’ll only embarrass himself and Sunghoon will be able to make fun of him for it later. “And don’t forget. No kissing on the first date or in front of the child.”

“Oh my god,” Ni-ki groans, horrified, and drags a hand down his flaming hot face at the thought. Kissing… Jungwon… “It’s our first date, I doubt I’m gonna do anything.”

Admittedly, it’s not a date. Jungwon’s just treating him to a dinner because he's one, proud of Ni-ki for surviving his exams and two, probably making sure he finally gets some real food into his stomach. Which is already more than Ni-ki could ever ask for from him. But it’s a nice delusion, the date. Let a boy be a little silly in his head after he just fried it with exams!

Sunghoon seems to agree. He chortles in amusement even when Ni-ki slams his door shut and drives off into the distance with a last, cheerful, “Bye, have fun!”

And Ni-ki does not have fun on his way to the restaurant. The block’s not that big so he doesn’t have much to walk but it's enough to remind Ni-ki that he’s got multiple reasons to no longer skip leg days anymore. They’re a nightmare with Sunghoon, they’re a nightmare alone, but if his legs start cramping because he’s done a few exercises, it’s just a bad look.

Not only that but he’s nervous. He hasn’t seen Jungwon and Jieun in so long that it almost feels like he’s a soldier returning home from war, unsure and in uncertainty about how they’ve been doing.

Well, not that uncertain. Jungwon has kept him updated and humoured during his study breaks and told him a few stories about Jieun in his office, or going home earlier or Jieun now being the new employee at Heeseung’s convenience store because nobody else somewhere else had time to watch her. That, of course, followed by a bunch of pictures of Jieun (and Yumi) in a tiny, custom made uniform while she sits on Jay’s lap and scans the items for their customers.

It’s an almost cruel reminder that she’s making all these new memories and experiences because Ni-ki can’t be there.

“Ni-ki! Watch out!”

“Papa!”

He’s barely rounded the corner when a tiny, oddly impactful little person barrels into his legs and buries her face into his stomach as her arms wrap around his waist.

Jieun.

Her hair is, as usual, tied into two small braids that stick out from under the hood of her hoodie. She’s wearing a thin jacket over it because, while it’s cold, it’s nit in the negative degrees yet. Blame global warming for that.

“Oh my god!” he—unfortunately, embarrassingly—squeals in a high pitched voice and quickly lifts her up by the knees, “My baby!”

Which he, to be fair, totally didn’t mean to blurt out because Jieun isn’t his, not on any way and especially not as a baby but, oh well, he’s a co-parent so who cares. Jungwon doesn’t seem to mind. He follows Jieun close behind, dressed warmly in a big hoodie like Ni-ki’s and a bear-shaped beanie, with a huge smile. Like, genuinely huge, like he’s so happy to see him that Ni-ki can’t help but return the grin just as big.

“Hi, hyung,” he greets him in a much more subdued, quieter voice. It’s been so long since he last talked to Jungwon face to face. It’s kind of embarrassing. He feels shy. “You look… good.”

“Hey,” Jungwon greets him back, equally quiet, “You look like you need a nap.”

It’s not a compliment but the truth. But the way Jungwon delivered the line, deadpan and almost sassy despite his bright grin and sparkling eyes makes Ni-ki throw his head back with laughter.

“Yeah,” he agrees, breathless. The longer he gets to look at Jungwon after weeks of being deprived, the more his feelings return. This is why he’s in love with him. The weird silliness, the grin that softens into a smile as Jungwon keeps looking at him. All of it fills Ni-ki’s chest with an almost suffocating feeling as his heart swells. “Like, at least twenty-four hours.”

Jungwon opens the door to the small, simple restaurant for him and Jieun. He didn’t make a reservation even though the place looks busy but they’re lucky enough that a table opens up as soon as someone comes to greet them.

Ni-ki could scream. Or rather, he desperately tries not to.

They get seated at a small table for four, two seats on the bench and two chairs opposite. Jungwon takes the chair next to Ni-ki’s, leaving Jieun alone on the bench. For Ni-ki. Because, and this might be presumptuous of him to assume, he missed him. He even scoots his chair closer so they can stick their heads together and look at the menu. Together. It’s almost like they’re already dating.

It’s when Ni-ki takes a single glance at the menu that he regrets agreeing to coming here. Obviously, the prices aren’t outrageous. The shop wouldn’t be as packed as it is if they were but they’re expensive enough that Ni-ki almost suggests going to a cheaper place, maybe even a food stall on the street.

And then, Jungwon points at the grilled clams and shows them to Jieun, and her little face lights up, and Ni-ki gets it. He, too, would go broke for her.

“Seafood’s okay, right?” Jungwon asks him and scratches his cheek sheepishly, “Sorry, I forgot to ask you.”

“Seafood’s perfect,” Ni-ki blurts out breathlessly. Jungwon’s cheeks are turning a lovely shade of pink. “I love—seafood. Love seafood. Do they have mackerel here?”

“They do!” Jieun chimes in and points at something that does, in fact, not say ‘mackerel’. This might be the first time since her reading skills have failed her. Then again, she’s looking at the menu upside-down, from the opposite side of the table.

“It’s this one,” Jungwon chuckles fondly and points at a very simple grilled mackerel on rice dish. As simple as Korea can go with it. “Anything to drink? You can have one soda today—”

“Water, please!” she raises her hand with a big grin, and Ni-ki wants to slam his head ino the table. She’s just so cute. He simply has to die for her.

And the best part is: water is free. Water is literally always free. Ni-ki can also just get water and not feel bad for being a burden on Jungwon’s wallet. Who knows if Jieun’s even aware of how cost efficient she is. Either way, it’s a good sign. Ni-ki can adopt her without having to spend a lot of money to make her happy, except for the occasional poptart or toaster.

“How about you?” Jungwon turns to Ni-ki with a soft, encouraging smile, almost as if to urge him to order a soda for himself. Honestly speaking though, he’s craving some cold, crisp water that tastes like nothing. “Some beer?”

On second thought, and this has nothing to do with the sickeningly sweet voice Jungwon just asked that question with, beer sounds really good, too. Since he’s finally done with this exam season.

“Let’s share one?” he suggests, sticking his head a bit closer to Jungwons. to whisper. Not to, like, smell his strawberry shampoo that’s definitely Jieun’s or his baby-like coconut body wash. If that’s even what makes him smell a bit baby-like. Okay, maybe that and to whisper. “Jieun won’t ask to try it if we share, right?”

“She doesn’t like the smell,” Jungwon leans in as well with a quiet giggle, whispering even though they both know that Jieun can hear them just fine, “Besides, she knows that she’ll only get water if she says it now.”

Seriously. What kind of parenting style is this and how come Jay hasn’t used it on Ni-ki yet. The man’s basically his mother and he’s nowhere near that parenting level! Frankly speaking, it’s not like Ni-ki can be parented anymore by now, he’s almost twenty-one years old after all. But his frontal cortex hasn’t fully finished developing yet, so there might still be some hope for Jay—

Who’s not his real mother. Ni-ki has a real mom. Right.

“Water’s good,” Jieun chimes in and knits her eyebrows together in a frown, “Beer’s not good. Unnie called you a light-weight.”

“Speaking of,” Ni-ki remembers and perks up, “How’s Yumi doing? I haven’t seen her since that one time months back. Is she okay? It’s getting colder and it didn’t look like she has a home.”

“She’s got a cot in the ack of Heeseung’s store,” Jungwon shrugs, “Plays cashier for a place to sleep and study in peace. Uhm…”

He twists on his chair to turn towards the open kitchen where a nice looking old lady’s behind the stoves next to her husband and possibly daughter. In his sweet, adorable, little voice, he calls out their order and turns back to Ni-ki with a smile. His eyes glisten with excitement. For the food? Or because he finally gets to see Ni-ki in person again? Again, who knows.

“But yeah, she’s also been watching Jieun for a bit,” Jungwon continues, “She doesn’t even want any money. I offered to let her sleep on the couch but she also doesn’t wanna move in so. I guess she just likes hanging out with Jieun, isn’t that right, princess?”

“Unnie’s super cool!” she agrees and nods eagerly. “She taught me lots of new words.”

Oh.

Next to Ni-ki, Jungwon visibly pales in the face. He totally gets it. Yumi teaching Jieun new stuff isn’t exactly something he’d be thrilled about either as her parent. Last time Ni-ki met her, which was also the very first time he met her, she taught her about the french revolution.

“That’s great, sweetheart,” Jungwon forces through gritted teeth and scrunches up his face cutely.

And yes, Ni-ki’s fully aware that he keeps repeating himself. It’s just the truth. Jungwon’s cute, and he deserves lots of loving and adoring, and nobody’s more perfect for that than Ni-ki himself. Simple as that.

“Like light-weight!” she continues to boast, pronouncing the words carefully. “It’s when people can’t hold their li-quor.”

“This is horrifying,” Jungwon groans quietly and hides his face behind his hands. “Ni-ki, I’m really not that big of a lightweight. I just don’t drink that often. Really!”

Ni-ki can’t help but snort at that.

All these new words, and he’s worried about being perceived as a lightweight even though he’s already fairly familiar with his limits. Again, it’s cute and it’s fun to see him become so uncharacteristically shy about it. Ni-ki doesn’t think he’s ever seen Jungwon that flustered and embarrassed before. It’s refreshing. And good to know that not only Ni-ki cares about looking good in front of the other. Clearly, it means that Jungwon also tries to leave a good impression on Ni-ki.

“I don’t drink that often either,” he admits sheepishly and thanks the waitress bringing them a bottle of beer to share and three glasses as well as a pitcher of water.

That, for once, isn’t a slight understatement to make him look more responsible. The only times he’s ever drank was when Sunghoon or Jake took him out for dinner and decides soju paired too well with pork belly to pass on. They’re right about that but one, Ni-ki’s not having pork belly right now, and two, soju’s a bit much.

Ni-ki would very much prefer to have all of his senses intact so he can take in Jungwon’s entire being without a clouded mind.

“Hey, come on,” Jungwon nudges him with his elbow playfully and wriggles his eyebrows, “Isn’t uni, like, the best time to ignore all of your limits and drink until you pass out?”

“You’re probably right,” he chuckles quietly and nudges him back. Jungwon’s side is warm and surprisingly… sturdy. That’s not cute. That’s kinda hot. And Ni-ki’s just a guy who likes other guys. He’s living a truly difficult life. “But I don’t have the time to go out a lot. And, honestly, there’s better things to do.”

Like work two jobs or study or hang out with his little pseudo family or his housemates. Ni-ki hasn’t been to his little dance studio for the entirety of exam season and he’s barely played any Animal Crossing with Taki, much less kept up with any social media or any other friends of his.

He only took a break and looked at his phone to text Jungwon and maybe Jay and Heeseung. All of the times he’s accidentally replied to Taki’s messages and gotten distracted by a short gaming break was, again, purely accidental. Well, and it was good for his mental health. But aside from that, Ni-ki’s spent all of his time that he’d usually work a job studying.

“But you have time again, right?” Jieun asks him, jutting out her lower lip in a pout, “I can see you again?”

She looks sad, almost like she’s bracing herself for a rejection. But Ni-ki could never do that to her, not when she looks so devastatingly disappointed by the mere idea of Ni-ki not being able to spend time with her again.

“Of course you can,” he quickly responds, almost jumping out of his seat to sit down next to her on the bench and pull her into his lap. She should get comforted and reassured but for some odd reason, he’s glued to his chair as he breaks out in cold sweat.

He was almost the reason Jieun gets sad again.

“Oh, Jieun,” he coos softly, “I missed you so much. We have so much time to make up for.”

“Yay!” she cheers.

Just then, the waitress comes and places a little make-shift grill on the table. She lights it up, warning Jieun with a soft, quiet voice that it’s hot and that she shouldn’t touch it.

“Your appas can handle the grilling,” she tells her with a fond smile and turns up the heat, “I’ll be right back with your food.”

Your appas.

This stranger thinks of Ni-ki as one of Jieun’s parents. Because they act like a real family. Because they look like a real family to people who don’t even know them.

Ni-ki fails miserably at biting back a grin, face splitting wide as he involuntarily lights up. He glances to the side to see Jungwon’s reaction and almost confesses his undying love for him on the spot which would not only be embarrassing but also uncalled for. But he can’t help it.

Behind a raised hand, almost hidden behind his paw sleeve, Jungwon’s smiling giddily to himself, too.

“All of the dishes are made to share, by the way,” Jungwon tells him and clears his throat, “So feel free to try everything.”

Ni-ki’s in love with a literal angel.

They catch up some more after that. There’s still plenty of time until they can expect their food to come out and cool down enough to be edible and since Ni-ki’s been couped up at the library—that’s literally open twenty-four hours a day because the hustle culture’s just crazy like that—or his room, he’s missed out on a lot. Jungwon actually ran into the mother of the kid who kept harrassing Jieun again while picking her up from preschool.

“How did that go?” Ni-ki asks him, watching with delight as Jungwon squirms in his seat giddily. Opposite of them, Jieun’s already giggling to herself, too.

“She was so mad,” Jungwon cackles and looks at Ni-ki with a dangerous kind of mischief glinting in his eyes, “Especially since Yumi tagged along. That woman just can’t comprehend anything that isn’t a nuclear family. It’s almost funny how ignorant she is.”

“But the kid’s no longer bothering you, right?” Ni-ki asks Jieun who happily shakes her head.

“Nope!” she confirms with a proud smile, “And all of her friends are now my friends because she has zero dads.”

… Okay, that’s actually kind of sad. Hana’s not at fault for her mother’s behaviour and the way she raises her. Ni-ki would like to think that barely six is still the age where they can blame any sort of misbehaviour on the parents—which is why it’s even more impressive that Jieun’s so wellbehaved. Jungwon himself would still need his parents to guide him if they were still talking to him, and hadn’t he needed to grow up so quickly.

“Why don’t you try befriending her, too?” Jungwon suggests softly to her. And really, if that doesn’t prove he’s an angel full of empathy and patience, Ni-ki really doesn’t know what else would prove it. “Show her what it’s like with two dads.”

“Don’t wanna,” Jieun replies, brutally honest and with a bright grin splitting her face, “She was mean to me, I don’t wanna share my dads with her.”

“Yeah,” Jungwon shrugs, brushing it off, “That’s fair.”

For the entire rest of the meal, Ni-ki doesn’t pay much attention. He still does, of course, but with one ear and only out of politeness, to be honest. Jungwon talking so animatedly, bouncing off of Jieun’s comments and add-ons to whichever story he tells Ni-ki just makes it so hard to concentrate on the words he says.

Obviously, Ni-ki’s still interested about all of the convenience store anecdotes. Like that one time Jieun somehow managed to try sweetened coffee, called it a bitter soda and bounced off the walls for the entire rest of the night, or Heeseung creating what sounds like a nightmarish amount of toppings and some instant ramyeon for their microwave, or Jay knocking over an entire shelf in the front with his gigantic ass and making more shelves fall over like a bunch of bowling pins. He loves hearing about every kind of mischief that Manifesto’s been up to—eating more yoghurts and getting stuck in the cups, trying her first solid cat food and being utterly, pathetically confused of how to eat it, getting stuck with her claws in Jieun’s blanket and trying to eat Yumi’s hair whenever she’s over.

“I think she’s teething,” Jungwon thinks out loud and scrunches up his eyebrows again as he uses all of his brain power to remember something, “She should be round that age…”

“What’s teething?” Jieun asks him curiously, happily chewing on a piece of spinach they were served as side dish. It’s cold, unlike the clams that the cheese still has to melt over, so they’re perfect for her to snack on already.

“It’s when she loses all of her baby teeth and grows adult teeth,” Ni-ki explains to her softly. He has no idea how children usually react to hearing that their teeth will fall out as they grow but he’s seen some horror stories on social media. Crying. Lots of crying. Devastation, which makes sense. But most of all, horror. “And it hurts a lot so she has to gnaw on something.”

“Oooh,” Jieun nods in understanding, “Like those baby toys.”

“Yeah!” Jungwon agrees, “Like those. You still have your old one, remember? The little star disk?”

“Oh!” she perks up at the mention of it, “Do you think we can give it to Manifesto? Her teeth must hurt a lot, and mine don’t. She needs it more than me.”

So, yes. Ni-ki’s somewhat engaged in the conversation and actively participating it, better than when his social battery’s died or when Sunoo and Sunghoon discuss the latest episode of the drama they sometimes watch together if Jake lets them. But more than being a part of the conversation and Jungwon and Jieun’s discussion about where the teething toy last was, he just watches Jungwon.

He can’t help it. His eyes involuntarily follow each and every of his movements, especially his hands. Jungwon moves his hands and arms a lot while talking and laughing, raising it in front of his mouth as if shyly hiding behind it. That, unfortunately, is just more fodder for Ni-ki’s growing or returning or reawakening delusion. Jungwon could be feeling shy. Around Ni-ki. Because he likes him so much and gets flustered easily and wants to leave a good impression on him. Clearly, Ni-ki’s crush isn’t one-sided if he isn’t the only one feeling shy.

“When did you lose your last tooth, papa?” Jieun asks Ni-ki, distracting him from Jungwon slowly reaching for the first clam on the grill.

“Super late,” he chuckles, embarrassed. So much to appearing like an adult instead of a late-blooming adult in front of the very grownup, very responsible man he’s trying to impress. “I think it was… in my last year of middle school?”

It’s probably a weird way to remember it but Ni-ki’s usual main focus in that memory also isn’t losing his tooth.

Ni-ki’s never been able to understand the romance movies or shows that his sisters discuss with the other female students of their parents’ dance studio before, no matter how many ‘cute’ or ‘romantic’ or ‘dreamy’ clips they keep showing him—but he thinks he’s feeling something somewhat comparable to it.

“Okay, but,” he complains, trying to keep up with Taki on his bike but it’s unfair because Taki’s on his bike, and the streets really aren’t made for skateboarding, “how even are we going to bring back all of the clothes?”

He can’t see Taki’s face because he’s fallen behind, already out of reach of his rear rack to just hold onto so he can be pulled along instead of pushing his stupid piece of wood on wheels with his right foot. But he hears him laugh carelessly, as he usually does, because everything’s funny to him for some reason unbeknownst to Ni-ki at the time.

“It’s fine!” he calls back, turning his head for a blink of an eye, maybe even a mere fraction of one of Ni-ki’s stuttering heartbeats, and flashes him a bright grin that pushes out his wide cheeks. It’s only for that moment that Ni-ki catches a glimpse of a playful glint in his eyes. “They’ll give us a bag!”

Ni-ki’s just about to open his mouth again to retort something witty and grumpy and sarcastic. He’s barely fifteen and already knows that the few plastic bags they’ll receive won’t hold for they way home.

But then, Taki abruptly hits the breaks and turns back to Ni-ki with the widest, most excited grin and shining eyes, and the words die on his tongue.

If this was a movie, it’d be super clichéd and sappy music would play in the background. Because that’s exactly what Taki looks like while he looks at Ni-ki as if he was the centre of the universe after creating it in his own orbit himself. With the setting sun behind his back, casting the illusion of a halo beaming around his head and the sudden whip around tousling his hair and letting it fall into his face, almost, almost, hiding his shimmering eyes from Ni-ki’s view, he could be straight out of a movie.

And Ni-ki’s own heartbeat stuttering in his chest would be the first beats of said sappy song.

“Hey!” he suddenly calls out to him, “They’re selling taiyaki over there!”

They don’t have the time to grab taiyaki because the store they’re picking up Taki’s clothes up at closes in a few minutes. That and other things that he’ll forever remember because the memory wouldn’t make sense otherwise.

First of all, Ni-ki somehow hasn’t mastered the skill of eating and balancing on the skateboard, and second, Taki refuses to take his hands off the handlebars of his bike unless he tips over. And still, somehow, Taki convinces him with a single smile and a swoop of his hair out of his face to take a little break and sit down near the river with a fresh, steaming hot bag of taiyaki between their outstretched legs.

Ni-ki only manages to take one bite from the soft, pillowy dough and got barely any red bean paste out of it, too, when he has to yelp in pain and hold his throbbing cheek. Two seconds and a few coughs that ripped his lungs apart later, he’s holding a soaking wet piece of fluffy dough and a tooth in his open palm. One of his canines.

“Is that…” Taki curiously peers into his hand and leans in extra close, so close that the back of his head almost knocks against Ni-ki’s nose, “your last baby tooth?”

Which is horrifying. Ni-ki’s barely a few months younger than Taki and even then, he knows he’s got already fully grown in teeth a few years back. Who the heck loses their last tooth at fourteen? Ni-ki, apparently. Because he’ll forever be a baby, even after losing his last baby tooth. Damn, he can’t even get some money from the tooth fairy because he’s too old to not know that she doesn’t exist.

“Don’t tell Kei,” Ni-ki sends him a warning glare which should look about as threatening as a little kitten falling over in its attempt to throw a hissy fit, “I swear, if you—”

Taki takes a picture and sends it to the groupchat. Ni-ki’s so busy chasing after him to delete the message that he never gets to finish his taiyaki before they have to make a run for Taki’s new clothes, and worst of all, he loses his tooth. Again.

“What’s a taiyaki?” Jieun asks. She, as a little six year old who’s never left the country and probably can’t afford the luxury to try the imported version of a little treat they also have in Korea.

“It’s bungeoppang,” Ni-ki explains to her, a tiny smile tugging his lips upwards when her face lights up. She gets it. No food can be bad when fish-shaped. “But it’s a different fish. More like waffles. Do you like bungeoppang?”

“More than pop tarts,” she tells him eagerly, like asking her if she likes it is the same as offering to buy her some. But honestly, Ni-ki might just do that. Talking about taiyaki has made him crave it again, and since they’re already so similar. “Appa, can we… have some?”

Jungwon thinks an awfully long time about it, humming under his breath as he does so. He taps his chin rhythmically and presses his lips into a thin line, making his dimple pop. Even Ni-ki starts to feel like a hopeful kid again because he, too, wants to eat some bungeoppang after their seafood meal. It’s just the perfect ending for it! With red bean paste… or custard… yeah, custard.

“My treat,” Ni-ki offers to make the decision easier for Jungwon, “Since you paid for dinner.”

“Nonsense,” he shakes his head with a scoff and grins at Ni-ki, fondness dripping from his eyes and excitement written all over his face, “Dessert’s part of dinner. I’m paying. Besides, you have no money since you didn’t work.”

It was like being kissed softly by Jungwon before he stabbed a knife straight through Ni-ki’s chest.

“I’ll treat you next time,” he squawks. His voice cracks at every syllable because he’s embarrassing like that, and Jungwon laughs at him because he’ll never get a side of Ni-ki that isn’t at least a little bit embarrassing. A cool image? Never heard of in Ni-ki’s life. “I swear! I can afford bungeoppang!”

He opens his online banking app to show Jungwon his current balance, only to freeze at the number and carefully slide his phone back into his pocket.

A little more than seven hundred won won’t be enough.

[+]

Jungwon would never admit it because, as Heeseung put it, that hypocrite, he’s emotionally constipated but he’s aware that he’s overstepping all sorts of boundaries as Ni-ki’s employer.

The urge to see him again, after weeks and weeks of only managing to exchange a few texts, had won against his restraint. And while he feels stupid for that, the nagging voice is merely at the back of his head. It sounds awfully similar to his father.

At the forefront, louder, more important than any sort of doubt or insecurity or anxiety he has about having dinner with Ni-ki out in public, with Jieun with them, echoes Ni-ki’s laughter and giggles as he attentively listens to one of Jieun’s Manifesto stories. The way he doubles over in his chair and has to hold his stomach. The crinkle of his eyes as soft giggles spill past his pink, plump lips. The oil stuck to the corner of his mouth.

Another urge, less important, easier to ignore, bubbling up in Jungwon’s chest that seems to always be there when he eats with Ni-ki to wipe his mouth for him. Not in the way he wants to wipe Jieun’s mouth for her—that one is fatherly, he knows it.

But he’s not Ni-ki’s parent, and there’s no need for him to wipe his mouth, especially since Ni-ki’s an adult himself. Jungwon wouldn’t go as far as call the urge brotherly either. Not when it’s paired with the want to cup his face.

That, of course, and the uncomfortable feeling in his chest as he retells his own story about how he lost his last baby tooth.

Jungwon’s heard of Taki before, Ni-ki’s already mentioned him once. Something about playing a video game with him that Jungwon has no interest in and then felt bad for not being interested in. It’s another thing Jungwon could’ve done to let Ni-ki enjoy a break from studying without having to see him.

“Your childhood friend?” he assumes. The words leave a bitter aftertaste in his mouth that he quickly buries under a big gulp of beer until the familiar buzz in his head appears. “You must miss him a lot.”

“He’s, uh,” Ni-ki stutters quietly and averts his gaze. Like he’s guilty of something. Like he doesn’t want to tell Jungwon and he pried too much. “He’s my ex.”

Ah. That one stings.

“And my childhood best friend, yeah,” he quickly follows up, as if to reassure Jungwon. Of what? That’s none of his business anyway, even if he wants to stick his nose into it and ask him more about Taki. “We broke up before I came to Korea and, uhm, recently started talking more again. He—sorry, this is gonna sound weird—I told him about you. Like, a lot. And he, uh, he… yeah.”

“He what?” Jungwon wants to ask but the words die on his tongue. Ni-ki looks uncomfortable with the topic, and Jungwon only ever wants him to be happy when he’s with him. Another stupid urge, but that one might be brotherly.

“Must be nice,” he mutters, more peeved than he intended to, “to have a childhood best friend.”

Chapter Text

Ni-ki finds his way back to his pre-exam season routine faster than he expected. Even better yet, he has a lot more time to work than before since the semester’s nearing its end and all of his classes are officially over. He could go on vacation and visit his family in Japan.

“Or me?” Taki scoffs, offended. It crackles through the shitty speaker of Ni-ki’s phone. “I’m hurt.”

Recently, every time he’s on a call with Taki, he feels bad. Like he’s betraying someone. Even then, he stays up late on the weekends after a shift at the convenience store and plays a few hours of Animal Crossing with him, letting that bad feeling gnaw at his intestines.

“I don’t have the money anyway,” he scoffs back and slaps his in-game net over the head of Taki’s character. “I should offer dance classes again. All of my money now goes to rent and food.”

“And you eat like shit,” Taki adds bluntly. Another reminder that Ni-ki doesn’t even have enough money to buy himself proper food. Right now, he has to save every single won so he can buy Jungwon bungeoppang as promised. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Ni-ki sighs and takes a hit from Taki’s character. They’re hunting for bugs so Ni-ki can finally complete his bug collection in Blather’s museum and so far, all they’ve done is catch each other. “But I get most of my food bonus from the Saturday night shifts and that’s usually when dance classes do the best.”

“I thought the students go to cram school in the evenings,” Taki points out and holy shit. Why didn’t Ni-ki think of that? He’ll literally become part of the problematic and suffocating education system.

“You’re a fucking genius,” Ni-ki mutters under his breath. The way Taki giggles at that however is proof that his stupid mic picked it up anyway. “I’ll give morning classes or noon classes on the weekends and make money like that. Finally! My rent’s killing me, man. Don’t come to Seoul, it’s ridiculous here.”

“I thought it was cheap to eat out,” he retorts, and he’s mostly right.

Ni-ki’s actually not that poor anymore. With all of the money he gets from babysitting Jieun thanks to Jungwon’s very generous pay for his own work and thus, also Ni-ki’s little job, he can pay his rent with ease now even if it’s been raised. But the mindset of being poor is hard to get out of, especially after it was such a hit from reality how spoiled his parents raised him. The allowance they gave him as a kid… Maybe he should just open up his own dance studio here after all.

That, and Sunghoon always insists on getting steak. Ni-ki can’t afford to eat steak for every meal!

“I miss sushi,” Ni-ki whines instead and flops onto his back.

He was really productive today. Did the laundry, vacuumed his room, cleaned up his desk, aired out the house and even wiped down the kitchen counters that got greased up from all the takeout and ramyeon Sunghoon, Jake and Sunoo made during exam season. Ni-ki got to steal a few bites each time (read: a whole serving) so in return, he promised to clean up the kitchen.

By now, he should usually be on his way to the store and help out with the flood of inebriated people robbing him blind but instead, he gets to lounge at home in a comfortable set of a hoodie and some shorts and play a vide game because Yumi’s… there. He’s actually not sure what exactly she does but it seems to be good enough for Heeseung to be able to give Ni-ki some days off now which he gladly takes. Not that he doesn’t want the money but Yumi’s gotta earn her own ‘rent’ after all or whatever it is that she does. Ni-ki still doesn’t know what the exchange here is.

“You don’t have sushi?” Taki gasps. His character runs a circle around Ni-ki’s. If he’d gotten any further with his gameplay and taken it as serious as Ni-ki does (Animal Crossing is a lifestyle, people, a lifestyle), he could’ve used the little emotion animation. But, of course, he’s just a casual player. A hobby animal crosser. A fraud.

“I do,” he mumbles with a longing sigh. Oh, how he yearns for the fish and rice. “But it’s expensive here. Or yucky.”

“That’s literally so sad for you,” Taki tries to comfort him in that fake-placating tone, exaggeratedly sugary sweet and like he’s handling a toddler throwing a tantrum and trying gentle parenting for once. But the ineffective one. Not the one that works so well on Jieun for Jungwon.

When the fuck is it Monday again?!

He misses his babies more than sushi. Jungwon’s been getting lazy with the cooking but he goes home earlier now to eat dinner with Ni-ki and Jieun, usually some takeout he got on his way home. Apparently, he walks past an entire street with nothing but restaurants.

For next Monday, he promised jokbal.

Ni-ki’s love for him seems a little food-motivated lately.

“Is fish that expensive?” Taki wonders, “Aren’t you on a peninsula? That’s basically half of a whole—”

“Penis,” Ni-ki interrupts him, because he’s just a boy.

—

Since Ni-ki doesn’t have any classes before picking Jieun up from preschool, he’s also in no hurry to get there quickly for once, especially since Sunghoon drops him off after the gym every time. They really have too much time on their hands nowadays.

“And you’re sure you don’t wanna say hi to her?” he asks him for the uptenth time since he got into Sunghoon’s car.

“I’m good,” he declines with a shake of his head. His fluffy hair flops with every jerk to the side, a little messier than usual after a shower at the gym and hanging into his face. Ni-ki would almost think that he didn’t like children. That, at least, is better than Sunghoon liking children a little too much. But since it’s Sunghoon…

He probably just has a date to go to again.

“Alright then,” Ni-ki shrugs it off. Sunghoon’s always been a little weird and secretive about his whereabouts and other friends, almost like he wants to keep them separated at all cost. “Your loss, hyung. Bye!”

This time, he remembers to close the door when he gets off the car, waving after Sunghoon as he pulls away from the curb and drives off into the distance. He swivels on his toes to walk onto school grounds and wait for Jieun there. The bells rings once he puts his foot past the gate. Just a few more minutes until he can see Jieun again.

Ni-ki’s happy just thinking about it.

She’s gotten a lot clingier and more affectionate after his exam season ended now that she doesn’t get as much time with him once Jungwon returns from work. It’s cute. Ni-ki could just eat her up.

Her cute winter clothes certainly don’t help with his cuteness aggression either. Jungwon makes sure to dress her warmly in snuggly, soft hoodies and baby blue winter coats with matching socks stuffed into her black boots. He gives her a fluffy hat to wear, one of those that has little bobbles dangling from the parts covering her tiny, pink ears, and thick gloves that make her fingers look extra short and stubby. Every time he sees her, it gets harder not to smother her pink face with kisses and cuddle her to death.

Ni-ki should really keep his cuteness aggression in check. He doesn’t want to stop babysitting Jieun just because he accidentally strangulated her.

“Papa!”

“My baby!”

It’s funny that this is his choice of words. Usually, everyone around Ni-ki calls him the baby because he’s the youngest but look at that. He has his own baby. With Jungwon. He’s a father!

Jieun throws herself into his arms like she usually does, barrelling into his chest with a dampened thudding noise, and wraps her arms around his neck as he picks her up by the knees to lift her up and twirl her around like they’ve reunited again after agonising months of separation instead of the weekend. Soft, airy giggles clear as bells bubble up from her small chest, infectious enough that Ni-ki giggles along. Oh, how he’s missed her, his sweet, little angel.

“How was preschool today?” he asks her when he finally sets her down again, trailing his hand up her arm so she can keep holding his finger.

“Kind of sad,” she admits but keeps her cheery tone as she skips next to him, “We were talking about which schools we’re gonna attend and I’m losing three friends.”

She mentions it casually, like leaving behind his friends wasn’t the hardest part of going abroad to study for Ni-ki. He couldn’t imagine if he had to leave sooner, going away from the people he grew up with. Then again, he’s also no six year old anymore so friendships might not be as deep and meaningful as they turn during middle school. How would Ni-ki know. He dated his only friend in middle school. That added a completely different kind of layer to their relationship, especially after they more or less unanimously agreed to break up.

He supposes that it might be no different from going to different elementary schools.

“How many are you keeping?” he asks her instead to stay focused on the nicer, more positive part of the conversation, “Is Hana gonna attend the same school as you?”

“Nope!” she smiles at him brightly, eyes crinkling into little upward tilted crescents above her round cheeks, “Different school. No other kid goes to her school but I’m keeping two friends. And appa and papa.”

They chat a bit longer about Jieun’s upcoming elementary school enrollment. If she’s excited (“Of course!”) or if she’s a little nervous about meeting new kids (“Oh… I don’t know…”) and Ni-ki has the time of his life just talking to her because she’s so… free of worries.

Children are so cheerful. Ni-ki would like to go back to that time for one more day. Alas, he’s almost about to graduate and should really get those recommendation letters and prepare for the state exam in… a few years. Three more semesters until he can get his bachelor’s, another two semesters to obtain his teaching certification. God, he’ll be a student forever.

Hopefully, Jieun will choose a less time-consuming degree in the future. Or she chooses the same route as Heeseung or Jungwon.

Speaking of Heeseung, he’s sitting outside of his own store today when they pass by it. Jieun spots him from the end of the street even though he’s bundled up in a thick jacket, a beanie hanging into his eyes and a thick, red scarf that he drips ramyeon broth onto. Not even Ni-ki recognised him like that.

“Heeseung-oppa!” she calls out to him and raises her free arm to wave at him wildly, “Hello!”

He whips his head around at the sound of his name, and that’s when Ni-ki recognises him because of his huge, round eyes. Heeseung has this odd way of looking like a startled deer that’s about to get hit by a truck or staring down the barrel of a shotgun whenever someone calls his name to catch his attention. His face splits into a wide grin when he spots Jieun and he jumps up from joy and waves back.

“Hii, you two!” he greets them back and patiently waits for them to make it to the store in small but hurried steps. “Jieun! How was preschool, hm? Did you have fun?”

“So much fun!” she replies with a sweet giggle and releases Ni-ki’s finger to raise her arms above her hand. Heeseung takes the invitation gladly and lifts her up, smushing her against his shoulder with an equally happy giggle. “Is unnie here? She wants to give me a book.”

“Yeah, she’s in the back,” he tells her and puts her back down on her feet, “Wanna go say hi?”

“I’ll go,” Jieun says and rushes off by herself.

Ni-ki stays back, watching Heeseung take a seat on one of the plastic stools they have outside and picking up a few noodles with shaking chopsticks. His hands are pink on the knuckles and dry. He’s not wearing any gloves despite the cold weather. Their uniform’s vest bulks up his winter jacket.

“Not a busy day?” he asks him and sits down on the stool opposite of him. He has to bend his knees ridiculously to fit but it somehow works out. Stupid, long legs.

“Nope,” Heeseung shrugs and stuffs his mouth full with noodles, “Sent Jay home early, got Yumi in the back and really good ramyeon. Have you ever tried making egg clouds in the microwave? It works! I’m a genius, Ni-ki.”

He shows off the few bites of egg he still has in his ramyeon, buried somewhere between noodles, little sausages and cheese. Personally, Ni-ki’s convenience store favourite are the little soy marinated quail eggs but the ramyeon Heeseung sometimes makes for him at the end of a night shift is always good. Almost feels like a homecooked meal, one that Ni-ki hasn’t had in a while.

“You wanna grab a gimbap?” Heeseung offers him and nods to the door falling shut behind Jieun, “You look skinnier than usual.”

Ni-ki’s actually only drowning in his own clothes more than usual now that his arms aren’t visible anymore. All that free time means he’s hanging out more with Sunoo and stealing his snacks again. Jay keeps handing him chocolate bars to try. Sunghoon and Jake are dead set on emptying out their huge freezer box by the end of the week and since most of the stuff in there is Ni-ki’s, he has to eat as well.

Jungwon is a weird mix of all of that.

He makes Ni-ki try new food but he also just gets… so much takeout for them to share. There’s always at least one chicken and one fish dish each, paired with a bunch of different sides that he either already has in the fridge or got as takeout as well. Last Friday, Ni-ki’s tried his first ever haemul pajeon and they still had two of them left when he had to go home. When they’re done with dinner, they play with Jieun until it’s her bedtime and after they tuck her in, they share a bag of chips or chocolates or jellies.

In fact, Ni-ki’s gained a few kilos but he’s also been going to the gym with Sunghoon a lot. The mass he’s putting on could be winter fat or muscles. He’s fine with both of those options. Still—

“I’m not gonna say no to free food,” he accepts and leaves Heeseung at the table to go into the store with a skip to his step.

This time, however, he doesn’t just take the food. Since Heeseung isn’t watching, Ni-ki rings himself up and pays for the charcoal-grilled jeonju gimbap that they recently added to their menu. He’s really in the mood for some shortribs today. Maybe he should ask Jungwon if he could get galbi for dinner later… Or is that going too far? Ni-ki shouldn’t get demanding if he’s already feeding him for free.

No, it’s worth a try.

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung !

so uh…

whats the menu for tonight?

Hungry already? ;)

I was thinking galbi-tang!

My coworker recommended this spot close to the office and it looks pretty cheap but tasty!

hyung

youre like

my soulmate

Ni-ki drops his phone and gimbap roll when his brain finally catches up to his fingers.

Jungwon doesn’t reply to his last message. Which makes sense. Because it’s a crazy message! Ni-ki’s crazy!

He collapses to his knees with a groan and pulls at the hair on the back of his head in frustration. It was going so well with Jungwon, too! And Ni-ki somehow still manages to mess it up with dumb stuff like calling him his soulmate like a crazy man! He is crazy, crazy in love, but that’s completely besides the point here. The point is that Ni-ki would really like to stop being weird to Jungwon.

“That looks painful.”

That deadpan… Ni-ki raises his hand from his knees and meets Yumi’s teenage-typically judgemental stare. She’s sipping from a box of banana milk in one hand and holding a bag of chips in the other. Her jacket’s open and revealing a shirt that’s probably too thin for this kind of weather.

“Oh,” he mumbles and reaches to grab his stuff from the floor, “Hey, Yumi.”

“Hi, oppa,” she greets him back and lazily pats the back of his head, flattening his hair down again, “What was that about?”

“You ever been a fool in love before?” he asks her, ready to unload all of his emotional baggage onto her young shoulders. Well, not really. When he raises his head again, her stare’s turned disturbed. “I guess that look means no.”

“Yeah,” she confirms, a critical hit right to wherever he feels embarrassment. His whole body. This is humiliating. “It means no, sorry.”

She waits for him to rise back to his full height. Jesus. Now that she isn’t stuffing herself into a little playhouse and standing up straight, Ni-ki realises just how short she is. She barely reaches his shoulder with the top of her head and has to crane her neck to keep their eye contact.

When she realises that he’s hunching a little, she frowns.

“Have you always been this tall?” she mumbles under her breath and raises the straw of her box of banana milk up to her lips. “Anyway, what’s up? I read the internet forums, you can’t be doing that badly.”

That’s not reassuring at all.

If the standards are internet forums, the bar must be low for Ni-ki and he’s actually not even sure if he can measure up to that. Which is really bad. Then again, he’s asked the internet more stupid, embarrassing things. He’s also asked people more stupid things.

“Thanks but I think I’ll decline,” Ni-ki tells her with a sigh and runs a hand through his hair to tug at a few tangled strands once he realises that he was almost about to ask a random teenager for love advice and use her as his love therapist. Unfortunately, being around Jieun has given him a sense of parental responsibility and they kick his ass once he looks into Yumi’s tired eyes. She’s basically just a baby, too. “The people on the internet don’t know Jungwon-hyung.”

But they should. In a ‘make him famous’ way, not the ‘let’s fucking cancel this guy’ way. Jungwon has the face of someone who should be famous. Ni-ki wants to see him edited to a remixed cat TikTok sound.

“Suit yourself,” she shrugs and wanders around him to get back to the back. When she opens the door, he can catch a glimpse of the setup she’s got back there. Ni-ki barely sets foot in there when he’s at work anyway because it’s where Heeseung either retreats to play video games or Jay does their accounting.

Now, with Yumi in the back on her sleeping bag on a cot and a bunch of textbooks scattered and piled high on the floor, he has even less of a reason to go there. Although, it looks pretty much like the inside of the plastic playhouse on the playground. Even Jieun looks basically just the same there, playing with the cap of an empty water bottle.

Ni-ki joins Heeseung outside again. During the short interaction he had with Yumi and the very short-lived crisis he put himself through, Heeseung’s finished his ramyeon and started scrolling on his phone while sipping on a steaming hot cup of vending machine coffee. He takes his seat across from him again and unwraps his gimbap, and Heeseung slides him his empty ramyeon cup for his trash without raising his gaze from his screen.

“How’s your break going?” he asks him and pockets his phone again.

“Pretty chill,” and then, he promptly stuffs his mouth with a piece of gimbap. “Been doing a lot of nothing and a lot of everything I had to do. I replaced the light in my staircase.”

“Nice,” Heeseung grins at him, “About time you found the light bulbs in aisle eight.”

—

Somehow, time passes funny at the convenience store every time Ni-ki’s there. He only remembers that he should probably get somewhere warm like Jungwon’s apartment when Jieun comes out again and pulls him away from his chat with Heeseung because she has to feed Manifesto soon.

And lo and behold, the moment they step inside, Manifesto runs up to Jieun with demanding meows and climbs up her small body by clawing into her thick clothes. She wants her food and she wants it now but, unfortunately for her, Ni-ki first has to help Jieun take off her backpack, jacket and winter boots. And then, he has to freak out internally because she’s wearing little sheep socks. Seriously, could a little person be any cuter?

“Can you open the can for us?” Jieun asks him and immediately hops over to the kitchen to rummage through one of the lower cabinets with Manifesto dangling from the hem of her sweater. She takes out a little can of wet food and hands it over to Ni-ki.

“Of course I can,” he hums, still in a good mood.

Jungwon’s apartment is the perfect temperature. Cozily warm but not so hot that he has to take off his hoodie to stand in a t-shirt but also not so cold that he considers keeping his jacket on.

So, with hands that aren’t shaking from the cold, he opens the can of wet food and hands it back to Jieun who took out her little stool to reach the kitchen counter. He actually doesn’t know how much Manifesto has to eat per meal but Jieun seems to know perfectly how much she has to portion onto the flat porcelain plate that Ni-ki got down for her—just about a third of the whole can. He should remember that.

It smells the same disgusting, stinging way that wet food usually does, and it sounds even worse. Ni-ki has to bite back a laugh at the wet ‘schlorp’ sound the food makes when Jieun digs it out of the can and lets it drop onto the plate.

Meanwhile, Manifesto has finally managed to climb up Jieun’s hoodie and is happily perched up on her shoulder, peering down at the plate with her food. Her tail swishes through the air impatiently but unlike her, Jieun’s in no hurry. She calmly plates Manifesto’s food, careful not to spill anything. And she doesn’t! She’s very neat and meticulous with it, almost impossibly so for a child with regular motor skills.

“Okay!” she puts the can down and plucks Manifesto off her shoulder, “Time to eat, Manifesto.”

Manifesto gets to do something Ni-ki’s never been allowed to do before—eat on the kitchen counter. He understands why she does, though. The counter’s much easier to wipe down than the floor. Technically, the kitchen counter is also easier to wipe down than the table but Ni-ki’s been told that it’s bad for his stomach to eat while standing by a very loudly nagging Jay when he tried that once and he hasn’t dared to ever since. He might be a dad now but he still has to respect all of the parental figures he has in his life.

Jieun watches her with find giggles bubbling up past her little mouth and gives her gentle albeit clumsy pats on the head. Ni-ki watches Jieun just to make sure Manifesto doesn’t suddenly get super protective of her food and attack Jieun.

Can’t let his fur baby traumatise his real, non-biological baby.

“Anything you wanna do before your show comes on, Jieun?” he asks her, and she immediately suggests to read a book. Which was to be expected. Ni-ki has no idea why he even bothered to ask her.

She doesn’t have any homework since the semester’s about to end. Just a few more weeks and she’ll start elementary school. Ni-ki doesn’t know how to feel about it since, yes, he technically took the job knowing that she’d start attending school soon but he didn’t expect it to be this soon. Jieun’s just growing up so quickly.

Jungwon must feel even weirder about it. After all, Jieun’s his baby. He’s raised her since she was born—which, again, is to be expected since he’s her actual father—and time must really fly for him.

Wow, he’s known them for almost five months now.

All this time and he’s basically made no progress with Jungwon romantically! He’s wasting all of this time!

It’s arguably not a waste of time to snuggle up with Manifesto and Jieun on the couch while she reads, swaddled in a fluffy blanket and sinking into pillows behind his back as she makes funny voices for each of the characters. She must’ve gotten this habit from Jungwon. Cute.

He doesn’t listen as intently as he’s probably supposed to be but truth be told, Ni-ki has no interest in children’s books. His only goal here is to entertain Jieun and keep her away from any possible danger and/or boredom until Jungwon returns home. The fact that Jieun’s fun to play with and really cute to watch is just a cherry on top of his free dessert.

“Are you excited for school to start?” he asks her after she’s done with her book and cuddles up to his side while they wait for her show to start. Her hair’s soft and smooth under his hand as he gently pats her head. She, too, is giving Manifesto soft belly rubs.

“Yes,” she tells him happily but quickly simmers down, deep in thought, “But new kids are scary.”

She doesn’t really sound excited any more. Instead, she looks pretty worried with her eyebrows drawn together and her bottom lip pulled between her teeth as she gnaws on it.

Ni-ki doesn't know how to help.

He’s started a few new schools already. Went from kindergarten to preschool to elementary school to middle school and then, finally, high school. The only new kid that was of any significance to him is Taki and that… yeah, that’s scary.

Taki’s changed him in scary ways, and he didn’t even do anything specific. He just was, a wonderful and bright friend that Ni-ki needed in his embarrassing teenage phase to change for himself because he realised he could be more. That was scary because he also didn't know what ‘more’ could mean for himself.

Although, Jieun’s probably still too young to have this kind of existential crisis.

“I’m sure you’ll make lots of new friends,” he reassures her and pulls the blanket tighter around her shoulders, “A cutie like you is too nice for no friends!”

And just like that, Jieun becomes his next enemy in a tickle war, squealing and squirming under his hands while Manifesto complains loudly at being woken up so suddenly.

—

Jungwon returns home with galbitang and dumplings and greets Jieun and Ni-ki like nothing worth mentioning has happened. Ni-ki almost wants to ask him,

“Did my message not affect you at all?”

But it first of all sounds really stupid and pathetic and second, is really stupid and pathetic of him to think like that. Ni-ki should know by now that just because he bared his heart, it doesn’t mean it’ll be reciprocated. He’s simply too emotionally open for the average person, even Sunoo pointed it out and he doesn’t shy away from talking about his feelings either (much to Jake’s disadvantage).

Instead, he quietly hovers around Jungwon like an ominous entity looming over him as he heats up the dinner for them even though there’s no reason for two people to watch the microwave while Jieun plays with Manifesto in the living room. Aside from the greeting, he hasn’t said much to Ni-ki yet but the dark circles under his eyes indicate that he doesn’t sleep much so he might just be tired. His movements are slow and sluggish. He’s frowning slightly like the microwave doesn’t spin fast enough for his liking.

“How was work?” Ni-ki quietly chooses to break the silence, “You look tired.”

“There’s not enough coffee in the world for me,” he sighs, exhausted, and lets his broad shoulders slump, “I don’t even like coffee. I edit a lot of children’s books, right? And for some reason, they all want to release one for Christmas so the deadlines are crushing me and I even took some manuscripts home to look over them later. I’m telling you now, unpaid overtime will kill us all. I don’t know how you do it.”

Neither does Ni-ki. He’s noticed the amount and lengths of the naps he takes recently, and he might as well be a bear going into hibernation. He gets to sleep in in the morning, go to the dance studio and come back home for a shower and another nap or have breakfast with Sunoo and Jake, go to the gym with Sunghoon and still have enough time to pick up Jieun. Occasionally, he’ll pick up a morning shift when Yumi has stuff to do, but most of the time, he gets to do a night shift every two nights. And sometimes, when Jieun played too hard at preschool, he takes a nap with her after or before her show, too.

“Do you wanna go to bed right after dinner?” Ni-ki offers him a little bit of help and hopes that the pat he gives his shoulder is anywhere near as comforting as he intends it to be, “I can tuck in Jieun.”

“Don’t you dare,” he grumbles and huffs, shaking is head like a petulant child. Puffed up cheek and cute frown and everything. God, Ni-ki wants to kiss him. “That’s literally the highlight of my day. You’ll have to fight me for her.”

He’s so adorable.

“Hyung,” he giggles and wraps both of his arms around Jungwon to pull him into a bone-crushing back hug. This is about the most self restraint he can currently practice. “You’re just going to bed, not divorcing me!”

The laugh that bursts out from Jungwon resembles a bark—of a small, squeaky dog. Like a chihuahua. Or maybe Ni-ki should stop comparing him to small animals. Either way, he cranes his neck to look back at Ni-ki with a wide grin and crinkles eyes. Yeah, no. Definitely some kind of tiny animal.

“I’m just saying,” he mutters and chuckles sheepishly, “My daughter. I’ll tuck her in, you can relax now.”

“You just don’t wanna pay me for the fifteen minutes it takes to get her ready for bed,” Ni-ki counters playfully with a huff and theatrically roll his eyes, “And I thought I was getting paid well.”

“I pay you in time with me,” Jungwon teases him back and whips his head around when the microwave dings.

He does it so quickly and pulls out of the hug to get the food out so casually that he doesn’t witness Ni-ki having another crisis. His mouth falls open, slack with shock. He feels weak in all limbs and muscles that he owns, it should be a surprise that he’s still standing up straight.

Jungwon hit it right on the head. Ni-ki does get something out of staying longer after Jungwon comes home—spending time with him. Which, in his lovestruck, foolish opinion, is a very fair pay-off. But he’s just a boy in love. What else is he supposed to want from Jungwon if not a little of his time? Even that feels almost like too much to ask for if Ni-ki lets his insecurities take over.

“Yeah,” he agrees belatedly, flustering himself with how out of breath he sounds, “That’s true, Jungwon-hyung.”

He helps Jungwon set the table, taking out the bowls, plates, spoons and chopsticks. At this point, he can navigate the kitchen like his own, and the feeling of domesticity overwhelms him once again as it so often does when he’s especially deep in his feels.

“The ahjumma was really nice to me,” Jungwon tells him as he shows off their dinner proudly, “When I told her who recommended me her place, she gave me free galbi-jjim!”

So real, ahjumma.

Ni-ki giggles quietly and shakes his head in disbelief. Well, it’s actually not that unbelievable that Jungwon is a hit with older women. He seems like a grandma’s boy through and through. He seems like a people’s boy through and through, easy to get along with, funny, charming, responsible… a little weird maybe but Ni-ki can accept that.

“Yay!” Jieun cheers and climbs onto her chair with Manifesto on her shoulder, opposite of Ni-ki, right in front of the sailor family portrait that Ni-ki’s spent an uncomfortable amount of time staring at to the point it barely even registers in his brain.

What he does notice though, and what he’ll probably forever notice until it changes, is how Jungwon piles the food onto her plate first before turning to Ni-ki to add to the pile of food he has on his plate like he isn’t older than him. He even puts a few more pieces of short rib into his soup like he doesn’t already have enough.

“Eat lots,” he tells them with a hum before finally grabbing a few bites for himself.

Jieun, like the well-mannered and properly raised little kid that she is, waits for her appa to take the first bite even if he does so hesitantly like he expects her to suddenly start eating first. Like he isn’t the one who taught her that it’s good manners to let her elders eat first. Ni-ki finds it cute each time even if that rule barely makes sense to Ni-ki. He was raised in a culture where the guest gets to eat first—clearly, this means Ni-ki’s no longer considered a guest and now just is a part of the family.

And yes, he’s fully aware that this might be a culture difference Jungwon just isn’t aware of. Let him dream a little!

The beef smells heavenly in the steaming soup that warms Ni-ki up from the insidet at the first slurp of the broth. Jungwon’s coworker got a good spot. The broth is rich and comforting, infused with all of the meat fat, ginger and garlic. The vegetables and Korean pear add a hint of sweetness that cuts through the saltiness. It’s even slightly spicy, which makes Ni-ki only feel warmer on the inside.

It only gets uncomfortably hot when Jungwon’s knee knocks against his under the table and stays there.

Ni-ki can feel his bony joints dig into his own, warm even through the thick fabric of his jeans.They stay like that for the entirety of the dinner, and Jieun even calls him out for the slow reddening of his face. Thankfully, Jungwon doesn’t mention it.

Jieun pulls Ni-ki into the kitchen while Jungwon does the dishes but only to feed Manifesto again who’s been meowing for beef short rib all dinner long. He gets it though. If he was a little kitten in a loving family with a big sister who made him the centre of her home life, he, too, would try to eat beef short rib instead of the nasty, mushy wet food. Even though it’s the second third of the can, the wet ‘schlorp’ sound happens. Ni-ki doesn’t even know what exactly makes it sound like that but he also doesn’t want to know.

After dishes and feeding and lots of playing together in the living room, Ni-ki and Jungwon get Jieun ready for bed. Jungwon, too, changes into more comfortable clothes; a simple pair of grey joggers (someone kill Ni-ki now) and a thick, big hoodie that he drowns in.

“Good night, princess,” Jungwon says to Jieun and pulls the blanket up to her chin, amking sure that even Manifesto’s tucked in properly.

“Good night, appa,” she yawns, already half asleep from brushing her teeth, “Good night, papa.”

[+]

Jungwon’s done a few questionable things to keep Ni-ki around for a while longer. Longer than necessary and definitely longer than he was getting paid for. But he’s already offered to pay for that time and Ni-ki had refused like he was proposing to become his step dad or commit a crime. So now, he offers dinner. Extra play time just to hang out with Jieun because he knows Ni-ki likes to spend time with her even without pay. Cups of hot chocolate before he has to embark on his cold and frosty way home through a freezing night because none of his roommates have the time to pick him up and the next bus isn’t until the next hour.

Walking him to the bus station afterwards is new.

Jungwon feels almost anxious when he locks the door behind himself as they step out onto the arcade of his apartment complex. He’s never left Jieun alone at home without bringing something back for her like some strawberry milk or a little snack so she knows in the next morning, in case she wakes up and can’t find him, that he only went out to Heeseung’s store. What’s he going to tell her tomorrow? Maybe, he should drop by the store later.

“The streets are well lit, you know?” Ni-ki hums playfully and bumps their shoulder. He has a boyish grin on his face, dimly lit by the flickering LED lights above their heads. Nobody’s supposed to look this handsome in this ugly lightning. It’s unfair. “You don’t have to walk me.”

“Oh, shush,” Jungwon quips back and bumps him back as they make their way down to the street, “I’ll never say no to a walk.”

They walk in relative silence to the bus stop. Their breaths come out in white clouds of puff all the way. It can’t be much longer until it starts to snow again. Summer’s passed so quickly.

Ni-ki was right. The streets are very well-lit, and Jungwon has no reason to worry about his safety. His grandma’s place has always been in a safe, trustful neighbourhood and that hasn’t changed in years. The bus stop isn’t even that far away from the apartment either, just a few minutes of walking in the silence and cold.

‘Totally worth it,’ he thinks to himself and sidles up next to Ni-ki’s side. His bus should arrive in two minutes.

Jungwon spends all of that time staring at his side profile. Mostly at his defined jawline and at the gentle curves of his facial features. His nose is cute. His hair frames his face wonderfully. Again, it’s unfair how handsome some people can look.

He can see it all. The slow blink of his eyes, the flutter of his dark eyelashes that cast a shadow on his prominent cheekbones. The way his eyes widen as the bus going the other direction pulls up and comes to a stop. The way his shoulders raise up to his ears, almost cautious, alerted.

“Ni-ki?”

Chapter Text

Ni-ki can’t sleep the whole night, which undoes just about everything his many naps and long sleeps have done for his sleep schedule. If he could, he would. Unfortunately, all he can do is lay there in the dark, his blanket pulled up to his chest and his hands folded over his stomach, and blink owlishly at the spinning circle. His eyes have gotten used to the darkness already. From the corner of his eyes, he can see the outlines of his room’s furniture and maybe more.

It seems like he sees a lot today that shouldn’t be there.

He’s tempted to fumble for his phone somewhere on the shelf above his head but that would require him to lift his arm vertically to the rest of his body and that just sounds impossible right now. Doing anything except breathe and manually blink seems impossible right now. He couldn’t even text Jungwon good night, only that he made it home safe without his nose and toes freezing off.

Maybe he’s just sleep deprived and hallucinating. Yeah. Fuck the many hours he spent catching up on the sleep he missed out on during exam season! He’s sleep deprived. Especially now.

He should just go to sleep and forget about all of this and pretend he fell asleep on the couch back at Jungwon’s. All of this is just a weird dream that he doesn’t want to interpret things in because his subconsciousness can go fuck itself. This doesn’t mean anything.

There’s just no way he saw—

No. He didn’t see anybody.

Ni-ki was too busy staring at Jungwon’s big eyes widened with worry and his pretty eyebrows furrowed with confusion. He had one of his hand raised in the air between them, hovering just above his elbow as if he wasn’t sure if he could touch Ni-ki, hesitantly curling his fingers and uncurling them again, never quite reaching Ni-ki. His pink, slightly parted lips as he struggles to find the right question to ask Ni-ki, a feeling he can only relate too all to often. But, as implied, it’s usually Ni-ki who’s at a loss for words. Jungwon always has something to say. Something random or silly.

He’s never been speechless before, like he has to be careful around Ni-ki.

God, what kind of face did he make for Jungwon to look at him like that? It pains him to think that he caused Jungwon to make that kind of face—like he’s unsure about what to do. Like he’s uncertain about what to say.

The pit of self-wallowing looks very inviting today but another doubt drags him away from it.

If he’s right, and he actually saw who he thought he saw—no. That’s impossible. He would’ve told Ni-ki if he ever came to Seoul. There’s no reason for him to be here and unearth the roots Ni-ki’s so loosely planted into Korean soil.

But if he did, if he had any reason to, what would Ni-ki do about it?

Nothing, that’s what he’ll do. Because it’s not real and Ni-ki’s in a horrible, endless pit of denial and he has a life here and friends and hobbies and the love of his life and his daughter. What’s there to do anyway? It’s not like Ni-ki’s going to stop anything from happening because it’s just of his control anyway.

The best thing he can do is close his eyes, go to sleep, and wake up with his world tilted just a little to the left and a pit in his stomach but that’s fine. Because then, he’ll go to class, then to the gym because he doesn’t have many classes tomorrow and neither does Sunghoon, and then he’ll kill some time at the dance studio before he’ll pick up Jieun and everything will be fine.

Ni-ki just has to keep living his life and fall back into the same routine as always. He can’t let this interrupt his flow.

Although, on second thought, he might just not go to the dance studio.

‘No more thinking!’ he scolds himself and rolls over onto his side, curling up and wrapping his blanket around his shoulders tightly to ground himself. ‘Sleep. Now.’

—

Ni-ki dreams of Japan.

This, in itself, isn’t uncommon or weird because Ni-ki dreams a lot about Japan. It’s only natural, he supposes, since he misses his hometown a lot. It was just… smaller. Less busy, especially in the neighbourhood he lived in, and just familiar. There are days he wanders Seoul and still doesn’t understand how he’d get to the few locations that he frequents with public transport.

What’s weird is that he’s back in school this time.

Or maybe, with all of his worries before he fell asleep, it only makes sense that he’d be back in school this time.

Seventh grade. He just knows it in his gut.

Most of his classrooms all looked the same to Ni-ki back then because he didn’t pay much attention. But he can remember the feeling of sitting in his eight grade classroom all too well. It’s also the only time his assigned seat wasn’t all the way in the back and that’s where he ‘wakes up’. In the middle of the room, second row.

It evokes a strange feeling in him, like he’s about to throw up. He’d always tried to push seventh grade to the back of his mind because it had to be the worst one yet.

Nothing traumatic had happened but the confusion and all of the emotions in him were just horrible.

Screw puberty, honestly.

His uniform’s messy, about as messy as a gakuran could be. His jacket is unbuttoned and the sleeves are rolled up. The white button up on the inside’s messy and crinkled because he never lets his mom iron it for him anymore. Adult Riki a few years in the future, even though he values his own sense of fashion and the freedom that university gives him about his clothes, would never wear his uniform like that.

In fact, he started wearing his uniform properly just a year later.

All because of him.

“Hey, Nishimura!”

He turns his head.

The face of his classmate is blurry. He doesn’t remember any of them. He never remembered any of his classmates because they didn’t matter to him. None of them ever mattered to him.

His world back then was small. It didn’t include studying or classmates or any close friends like it does now. It revolved around nothing but dance because that’s where he saw his future. He figured that his older sister would handle most of the bureaucratic stuff for having their family-owned dance studio while he would teach classes and his younger sister could do everything she wanted.

If seventh grader Ni-ki could look at him now, he’d surely be angry with him. It used to be his biggest dream to continue dancing, make it his profession, devote his entire life to it. Now, it’s barely a hobby anymore.

“Hello?” the classmate calls out to him again, waving his hand in front of his face, “Riki B, are you listening?”

“No.”

Ni-ki’s voice is pitched higher. Puberty really hit him like a truck. He can’t help but frown at the sound of his own voice, so familiar yet so foreign.

“And don’t call me that.”

“Riki A wants to talk to you,” he tells him instead, pointedly ignoring Ni-ki’s demand.

He remembers he hated being compared with him. It wasn’t fair that Ni-ki had gone from ‘just Riki’ to ‘Riki B’ just because he’s a few months younger. Most of his seventh grade classmates know him from elementary school already. He wasn’t just some second, lesser Riki just because another one existed.

One that was friendlier, looked cuter, had more friends. One they didn’t talk badly about behind his back because he was ‘too bossy’ or ‘a brat’.

All of it was just unfair.

But he never managed to voice out this dissatisfaction to ‘Riki A’ because he was nice to him, too. One of the few. Probably the only one who approached him without any prejudice and did so willingly. Takayama Riki was the only classmate he cared about because he was tolerable and because he cared about him as well. Somewhat, in a weird, almost-friend way.

“Where?” he huffs and involuntarily rolls his eyes.

Is this how he felt back then? Annoyed?

Ni-ki can’t imagine feeling like that towards Taki anymore. He can’t imagine at all what he’d feel anymore because it’s so different, being face to face with him, talking to him, seeing every detail of his face and talking to him through a screen or just through speakers. It’s not comparable.

“Your shoe locker.”

Ni-ki grabs his coat with a heavy sigh.

Taki had always chosen weird spots to meet up. Most of the time, it was the shoe lockers even though basically every student would have to walk past them. It was arguably the worst place for private conversations and Ni-ki had always hated nosy eavesdroppers. But he couldn’t get mad at Taki for that nor tell him that he didn’t want to meet at the shoe lockers anymore, the few times he’d asked to meet him there.

It wasn’t that often anyway. They weren’t that close in seventh grade because Taki was new and Ni-ki’d always disliked change and because their worlds were just so different.

He feels his presence before he can see the round back of his head. His heart hammers wildly in his chest and his steps become heavy, like someone’s tied stones to the soles of his shoes. Even back then, Ni-ki was emotionally aware enough that what he felt was dread.

It wasn’t the idea of talking to Taki that made him feel this way, he knew that. But having to look at him just made him angry at himself.

Life was better when there wasn’t a ‘better’ Taki.

“Hey.”

Taki turns around and Ni-ki’s dream turns pink, which is so clichéd. He did not see him through rose coloured glasses at the age of thirteen and a few months. His crush on him didn’t develop until much later when they enrolled at high school and ended up in the same class yet again.

But he supposes he’s still aware of his feelings, in the very back of his mind, and they leak into all of the memories he has of him.

“Hey!” he greets Ni-ki with a brilliant, toothy smile, “Mind if I walk home with you?”

“Don’t you have to go the opposite direction?” he asks him gruffly and shuffles past to reach his shoe locker. It’s a painfully long way that seems to stretch on forever, especially when Taki twists his head to follow Ni-ki with his eyes. “Takayama?”

“I do but,” he scratches his cheek sheepishly and averts his eyes as if he was embarrassed. And maybe he was. Ni-ki still doesn’t know, he never asked him. “But I saw that you’re holding a dance class later and I thought it looked cool. Can I come, too? I mean, it’s an open class but I don’t know if it’s not awkward to have a classmate there.”

Ni-ki turns his head and looks at him for a while, still. Speechless. He mulls over it in silence. And then, he says,

“Yeah, sure.”

Kind of ironic what that set in motion.

—

Ni-ki wakes up from his dream with a gasp.

It wasn’t a nightmare, not at all, but he feels restless, like he didn’t get to sleep properly even though it would’ve been highly appreciated. His heart beats in an almost irregular rhythm, loud and painful. He must’ve kicked his blanket off in his sleep because he finds it at the ground, out of his bottom bunk of his bunk bed.

“What the fuck,” he mutters under his breath and presses his palms to his eye sockets.

This has to be the worst start into a day that he’s had in a while. And he woke up after falling out of his bunk last week. That was a shitty start, too.

The dream still lingers on his mind although fleetingly, slipping through his fingers like water from the river he used to hang out at with Taki. He remembers some of it, mostly the outline of Taki’s back and the bright smile he’d given him. But those are already burnt into his memory, branded into his very being.

Like he could ever forget the day that set everything into motion. The personality changes he’s went through during his friendship with Taki, the choices he’s made, the dreams he suddenly got that no longer involved Japan after a while. All because he let Taki join in on his free dance class and didn’t stop him from signing up for more classes. Not Ni-ki’s but those from his mom or dad or even his older sister Konon.

And because Taki had nothing better to do between school ending and classes starting, he went home with Ni-ki, ate there, did his homework there, played video games there.

But it doesn’t matter now. That’s all in the past and Ni-ki’s built a life in Korea now, far away from the friends and family of his childhood. He’s an adult now, with adult responsibilities and the weight of them weighing on his shoulders.

First, just like every morning, he checks his phone.

He doesn’t actually do it every morning but he figured if he checked his chat with Taki or stalked any of his socials, he’d figure out if it’s true. Weirdly enough, or maybe luckily, there’s nothing. Taki didn’t post anything or text him.

Jungwon texted him though.

Private Chat: Jungwon hyung !

Hey, you looked kinda pale last night.

If you need a day off, let me know. I can figure something out for Jieun :)

Most likely, I’ll just ask Jay-hyung tho lol

are you kidding?

seeing you and jieun’s the highlight of my day!

i’m fine, dw

just got really tired that late sorry :,)

Are you sure?

I’m glad to hear that you’re okay

Got me worried there

yeah, i’m okay :)

see you later!

See you later!!

Ni-ki almost slipped up. He almost left out Jieun of his message which wouldn’t be that much of a lie—he does mostly look forward to seeing Jungwon again each day—but it’d also be an understatement. Jieun’s also a highlight. How could she not be when she’s just so stinking cute?

Either way, he can tell he’ll feel off for the rest of the day until he goes to pick up Jieun and forget about all of his troubles by losing himself to the daydream of domesticity, so he climbs out of bed with another sigh. His knees feel a little weak and wobbly which makes the ladder more difficult that usual but he’ll live. He hopes.

After washing up, he meets Jake downstairs.

He’s not sure if ramyeon’s a good breakfast but he won’t complain, not when Jake’s already making enough for three.

“You look like you haven’t slept again,” he points out even though he’s turned his back to Ni-ki, “Sunoo’s still under the shower but we can give you a ride after breakfast.”

“Great,” he mumbles and rubs the leftover sleep out of his eyes as he sits down on his usual chair, “Sunghoon-hyung’s gonna pick me up after my class but I gotta go pick up Jieun so can I put my skateboard in Sunoo-hyung’s trunk? I don’t wanna make him drive me to preschool again.”

“Keys are on my desk,” Jake tells him easily.

That’s the worst location it could be at. Why not the hallway or on the hanger near their door where normal people put their keys? Why Jake’s bedroom that Ni-ki has to enter with the danger of running into Sunoo changing there? This is stupid.

He goes there anyway but only after checking that Sunoo’s still in the bathroom. Just as Jake said, he seems to be taking a shower. Still. Who knows how long he’s already been in there. The hallway already smells of his flora body wash or lotion or whatever product it is that Sunoo always uses while he steams up the entire bathroom and thus, also the hallway.

Jake’s room is overall pretty tidy—courtesy of someone one wants to impress, Ni-ki supposes—except for his messy bed. The blanket looks like it’s been hastily pushed to the side right after they woke up. A pile of clothes sits right on top of the desk, next to the keys to Sunoo’s car.

Ni-ki still doesn’t know why they trust Sunoo to drive them around. He’s proven to them often enough that he shouldn’t be trusted behind the steering wheel.

He grabs the key and gets out of the room at the same time as Sunoo steps out of the bathroom, covered by nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He greets Ni-ki sleepily, like the steam and warmth of his shower has made him tired again, and Ni-ki greets back just as tiredly.

Neither of them asks why he had another restless night even though his exams are over. That’s just fine with him.

He doesn’t really feel like talking this morning, not until he went to class and distracted himself with study material, dumbbells and his basically adoptive step daughter. And, of course, his cute hyung.

Sunoo and Jake talk a lot. It’s mostly Sunoo teasing Jake about something silly he did the day before and Jake trying to tease him back or something. Ni-ki’s not sure, he’s not listening to their conversation. He’s still back at the bus station with his head, waiting with Jungwon to go home and… and seeing a piece of home instead.

They drop him off at their campus. Ni-ki still has to take his skateboard down a few blocks to get to his own campus which would usually suck but it’s a nice distraction this morning. He gets to put on his headphones and tune out the entire rest of his surroundings safe for the road right in front of him while he tries his hardest not to let a single thought occur. Overthinking’s never done him any good, as thoughtful of a person as Ni-ki’s grown to be.

And still, he just can’t forget. He could never forget, not when it’s been such a huge part of his life.

Ni-ki spent most of his teenage years looking at the back of Taki’s head, as if he was in a constant chase with him even though Taki’s always been by his side. The only time he didn’t see the back of his head was when he left for Korea and they said their goodbyes at the airport. It was just after he’d said goodbye to his family and promised to call often, a promise he hasn’t been able to keep very well, tucked away in a corner of the airport just before Ni-ki had to go through security.

He hadn’t expected Taki to show up even though he’d messaged him the details of his flight and when he’d leave. They’d broken up the week before and kept their distance with radio silence. It was a sad end to their relationship but it was necessary. Neither of them thought they’d do well in a long distance relationship.

Usually, it doesn’t impact him as much anymore. The memory of the back of Taki’s head is just that—a memory.

Until it isn’t.

“What the—”

He almost falls off his skateboard trying to brake on it. A stupid piece of wood on wheels has never been easy to brake but it’s even worse when he thought he could go in a straight line.

That’s when he turns around, eyes wide, cheeks just as round as all those years before.

“Oh, hey!”

His skateboard slips out from under his feet and sends him crashing on the ground, a literal reenactment of the saying ‘having the rug pulled out from under his feet’. He thought it was an idiom. Instead, the board shoots forward without Ni-ki on it, letting him fall on his back, and hits the person in the heels.

“Hey, I thought you knew how to skateboard.”

Ni-ki hasn’t heard Japanese in person for so long. It’s different over the phone, it’s different from the voice in his head whenever he reads it, it’s different from watching shows.This is real Japanese, in person, from a. Japanese person that Ni-ki knows like the back of his hand, that he knows almost too well.

He sits up, disoriented and head spinning. Maybe it’s a concussion. Maybe it’s something far worse.

“Taki?”

Taki smiles at him sheepishly, raising his hand in an awkward wave. He gently taps Ni-ki’s skateboard, pushing it back to him. It rolls the small distance between them, bumping into the sole of his sneakers.

“Hey,” he greets him again, in Korean, “Surprised?”

No. Ni-ki’s not surprised. It would be the understatement of the century to say that he’s surprised. He actually doesn’t have the words for it.

All he knows is that the world stops.

He opens his mouth but no words leave him, so he closes it again. And then, his second try doesn’t get much better. He just sits there, like an idiotic gaping goldfish or something, with wide eyes and te skateboard at his feet. Faintly, he can feel the sting on his palms still pressed against the ground. He must’ve scraped them earlier during his fall but it barely registers in his brain.

Actually, nothing registers in his brain.

This is crazy. This is a fucking crazy situation to find himself him, and he promised himself years ago that he’d never get into any situations anymore.

“What—” he manages to croak out before his voice cracks and gives up.

Taki just looks at him with his big eyes and the very same half-smile that he always gives Ni-ki, and somehow, that just makes it worse for him. The world spins a little too fast. He might’ve gotten a concussion. It’s hard to breathe, leaving him to gasp shallowly.

“Oh, that big of a surprise, huh?” he jokes lightheartedly and chuckles.

It’s unfair how lightly he takes this. Like it’s no big deal or something to laugh about like ‘Wow, my ex is in Korea even though the only reason we’re exes is because I left for Korea!’ even though Ni-ki’s not laughing at all.

He’s turning Ni-ki’s world as it is upside down, and he does it like he’s just grabbing a snack or learning a new move. With ease, like second nature.

To Ni-ki, this is basically just a natural catastrophe.

“I,” he stammers and hastily jumps back on his feet, “I gotta go.”

He almost slips on his skateboard again, bending down to grab it off the ground. He’s in no condition to skate like this. He’s just going to fall off again and hit his head and give himself a real concussion because he’s too stupid to wear a helmet. Fuck. Maybe Ni-ki should invest in a helmet next.

But first, he needs to get out of here. He has a class to attend, one of the last of this semester. And after that and babysitting Jieun, he can have all the crises he deems necessary.

Taki almost seems to open his mouth to protest when Ni-ki passes by him but, for once, nothing comes out of his mouth either.

“See you around,” Ni-ki manages to say even though he barely registers his own words in his mind. They just leave him before he can stop himself, an old habit that never seemed to die.

If Taki responds anything, he doesn’t hear that either. Not until a little bit later when he’s already a few steps away and Taki’s voice reaches him faintly from the distance that Ni-ki willingly put between them—that he put between them willingly.

“Ni-ki,” he calls out before Ni-ki can round the corner. He looks back and is met with the same grin that he fell in love with, that he still loves. The grin he’ll carry in his beating heart for the rest of his life because first loves are unforgettable like that, because it’s bitten into the muscle and left its mark. “When you left, I didn’t come to the airport as your ex. You’re still my best friend.”

Ni-ki wants to reply that he feels the same. That Taki’s still his best friend, that he still cares. Of course he still cares. Ni-ki never stops caring, and that’s both, his best trait and his biggest flaw.

With his heartbeat thrumming in his ears, he only manages a choked up,

“You, too.”

And then, he turns his back to him like he did all those years ago, rounds the corner in long strides and takes off on his skateboard.

Fuck getting a concussion. Ni-ki’s going to die of heart complications before that.

—

He’s still shaken up by the encounter that he must’ve made up in his mind hours later. Even Sunghoon notices and decides to cut their workout short before Ni-ki drops a dumbbell on his foot. Kind as he is, he even offers to give Ni-ki a ride to Jieun’s preschool that Ni-ki, albeit grateful, declines.

Maybe a walk will help him clear his mind.

That, and he refuses to look at his phone while he walks in fear of bumping into other people and running them over. This is a measure he has to take because if he decides to sit in Sunghoon’s passenger seat, he’ll check his phone. And who knows who could’ve texted him.

“And you’re sure you’re alright?” Sunghoon asks him, eyebrows knitted together in concern.

They’re standing outside at the parking lot. Sunghoon already has one hand on the roof of his car, and the door’s unlocked. He could just get in and drive off to leave Ni-ki to his own demises but of course, he has to be a good hyung to him today and be worried about him.

Ni-ki has his regular bag slung over his shoulder and his sports bag dangling from the hand he isn’t holding his skateboard with. He’s just waiting for Sunghoon to let him get to the trunk so he can take off again.

“I’m okay,” he exhales slowly through his nose.

And he knows he’s lying. Sunghoon has witnessed firsthand his breath getting shallow and erratic. He even asked him between sets if he needed to take a break and sit down somewhere, like he was getting a panic attack.

But Ni-ki wasn’t having a panic attack. He was merely having memories resurfaced by someone he thought he’d gotten over and—

“What would you do if your ex suddenly showed up again?” he blurts out because he’s an idiot.

Sunghoon perks up, alerted. he blinks at him for a few seconds with eyes widened in surprise. Ni-ki must’ve caught him off guard with that. Or he just didn’t expect Ni-ki to be so honest with him even though he’s always been honest about his feelings and struggles with him. Hell, Sunghoon has seen him break down in the kitchen during exam season nights so often already that he really shouldn’t be surprised that Ni-ki can be open about his feelings.

The whole nonchalance thing isn’t his cup of tea. He has no idea how his classmates got that impression of him.

“I…” he replies slowly, carefully mulling over his words to find the right ones, “I don’t have an ex, to be honest. I think you should ask Sunoo but…”

He trails off as his frown deepens and smooths out again. His eyes turn a little glassy and distant. It’s his thinking face. He must be trying to imagine being in Ni-ki’s shoes even though they both know he’s not‘F’-type enough for that.

And still, Ni-ki waits for his answer.

Sunoo has been giving him some very insightful opinions on other things already and Jake’s basically the older brother Ni-ki never had. But Sunghoon’s one of the closest, if not his closest friend to him. No advice that Sunghoon’s ever given him has failed.

“If my partner and I had broken up and we didn’t see each other after that,” Sunghoon contemplates and locks eyes with Ni-ki, “Well, then I never really got over the feelings, right? Is that your problem?”

Ni-ki pales.

He just expected a second opinion, not to be put on the blaster, but Sunghoon is more honest about the situation than Ni-ki’s been. There’s only that far denial can get him with his crisis, he supposes.

“Yes.”

Ni-ki feels breathless, dizzy. The truth hurts to say, like it leaves his mouth and crawls back into his chest to wrap around his heart painfully.

He’s not over Taki yet.

He’s not over Taki yet.

Ni-ki thought that the distance had helped him get over his feelings, all the love he never got to pour out, and that he’d move on with his silly crush on Jungwon and instead, he still has feelings for Taki. This is why he’s been feeling all of that betrayal lately while he was on call with Taki. He wasn’t betraying his feelings for Jungwon—he knows those to be true, too—but he was betraying himself.

Telling himself that Taki was still his ‘best friend’ while Ni-ki was still in love with him was the biggest lie he’s ever told himself.

“But I,” he swallows around the lump in his throat that might as well be his heart trying to climb up his chest, “I really like Jungwon-hyung, too. But Taki’s, like, my first love and I didn’t know he was coming, and now he’s here and I’m not mentally prepared and—”

“You gotta slow down there,” Sunghoon laughs and throws his head back jauntily, “First, let’s get used to your ex being here, hm? Maybe you are over him and it’s just the shock.”

As usual, Sunghoon could be right. He’s insightful enough to know how Ni-ki usually reacts to stuff or how situations will play out, so most of the time, the advice he offers is genuinely helpful. There’s not been a single time Sunghoon hasn’t considered how something might impact Ni-ki in the long run—

If he knows all the details, that is.

But unlike with Jungwon, Ni-ki hasn’ts talked about Taki or his feelings for him. How he used to feel when they were dating and what he felt when he saw him at the airport after having broken up back then. He’s only mentioned him in passing or used their game sessions as an excuse to get out of doing chores.

Sunghoon doesn’t even know that ‘Taki’ is just a nickname. As far as Ni-ki’s concerned, he could be thinking that he used to date a brand of chips.

That wouldn’t be too out of character for him either. He was fully convinced for a while that Jay was his soulmate for about a week, that he and Jake were related by blood for a good few days, and that if Maple were real, he’d probably ask her out. Dating a brand of chips wouldn’t be too weird for Ni-ki.

But no, Taki’s a real person and he’s here, in Ni-ki’s new hometown.

He should probably call him. Ask what’s going on and why he’s here. Get used to it so he can adpat and get over the initial shock. So he can finally move on with Jungwon and Jieun as his little pretend-family.

“I’m gonna go now,” he announces to Sunghoon and points at the trunk, “But I’ll deal with it in a healthy way. I promise.”

Sunghoon looks at him and raises an eyebrows like he’s doubting his words. But he lets him off the hook with a shake of his head and a sigh so Ni-ki throws his sports bag into Sunghoon’s trunk while he climbs into the driver’s seat. Ni-ki takes a few steps back so he has space to back out of the parking space and drops his skateboard on the ground.

He didn’t fall off it a second time after he ran into Taki so he should be good to go.

“Bye, Ni-ki.” Sunghoon leans out of the window he’s rolled down, one elbow thrown out casually because he has to look cool at all times. Stupid, cool hyung with his stupid, cool car. Just wait until Ni-ki can afford a driver’s license. “Jake’s gonna pick you up later, right? I’m not sure if I can.”

“Staying over at your boyfriend’s again?” Ni-ki laughs when Sunghoon scrunches up his face in disgust and confusion as he wriggles his eyebrows suggestively at him. “Ewww, hyung! That’s gay.”

“Says you!” he argues back childishly and speeds out of the parking lot, making Ni-ki eat dust.

Whatever. He’ll make him pay back later.

For now, he has a daughter to pick up from preschool. She’s already in her last days of preschool, too… They grow up so fast. Ni-ki almost sniffles wetly at the thought.

He remembers when he was about to graduate. Maybe not elementary but his middle school graduation was like a decade ago and his high school graduation feels like yesterday. And still, he remembers his middle school graduation more vividly because of Taki.

It was the first time he hung out with a group of people outside of his parents’ dance studio. He remembers feeling so uncomfortable and nervous around all of them that he almost threw up. They were only five in total, Ni-ki and Taki included although most of them didn’t attend middle school with then. He still doesn’t know where Taki met all of these people or how he managed to rope them into a friendship with him but he knows that he met Kei first despite their eight year age difference and the rest somehow followed. Taki even managed to make them all switch to the Nishimura dance studio.

And somehow, they were celebrating his and Taki’s middle school graduation with them.

Kei being already twenty-five and Euijoo and Nicholas being eighteen each already paid for everything even though Ni-ki insisted that he had enough pocket money and self-earned money from dance classes.

They went to an okonomiyaki restaurant and for God knows what reason, Taki insisted on making them Hiroshima-style instead of Osaka-style even though they lived in Osaka. Who the heck has these kinds of ideas except for crazy people? That’s right, nobody. And after that, they went indoor fishing for a few hours because Ni-ki insisted and needed something to just sit in silence and calm down before they went to an arcade.

It wasn’t anything grand. It wasn’t anything extraordinary. But it was the first time Ni-ki actually felt like a normal kid.

He should do something special for Jieun’s preschool graduation if Jungwon lets him. Maybe take her to Lotte World and create great memories for her even though she’s only six years old. She’ll love it! And Ni-ki can fully immerse himself in the idea that he’s her other father.

“Papa!”

This time, she spots him even before he sets foot on preschool grounds. He’s still skating to the open part gate when she sees him through the metal fence, not sticking her nose into a book for once.

She’s all snuggled and wrapped up in a thick, baby blue winter coat and a different fluffy hat from yesterday. This time, it’s a little beanie with cat years that almost looks like Manifesto’s pattern. It suits her so well, Ni-ki just wants to eat her up.

His mood immediately lifts.

Jieun is already running towards him with a huge, contagious grin on her face that rounds out her soft, pink cheeks. She has her arms stretched out towards him even though her backpack rattles with every step.

“My baby!” he coos and quickly steps off his skateboard to scoop her up in his arms.

He can worry about everything later. First, he has a little kid to take care off.

—

Jungwon’s running a bit later than usual.

It’s not his fault and neither did he lose sight of the clock but what else is he supposed to do but help when all of his coworkers suddenly pull him by the limbs into every direction because they need something from him.

Screw being the office baby, seriously! He has his own baby to take care of, and it’s already way past her bedtime, too.

He doesn’t even have any leftovers in his fridge anymore but he also doesn’t have time to stand in line in any restaurants or at food stalls. He just hopes Ni-ki ordered some dinner for them. Jungwon can just go to bed hungry for once, he’s done it plenty of times before when he was still getting paid cheap pennies for even cheaper work.

Either way, he almost doesn’t put in the correct door code with how much his hands are shaking. But when he finally does, he steps into a semi-dark apartment.

Ni-ki’s turned off the big lamp. The only source of light is coming from the turned on TV and a standing lamp near the couch. He himself is draped over the entire length of the couch, legs angled and pulled up because it’s too short for his tall build. His head is resting on a pillow propped up to the arm rest and Jieun’s sprawled across his chest.

Jungwon freezes in the door.

Jieun might already be asleep but Ni-ki isn’t.

“I know, I know,” he says in a hushed voice. Jungwon takes a second look. He’s holding his phone up to his ear with a gentle smile, “I was just surprised. I mean, a year abroad’s huge. You didn’t even tell me!”

Jungwon doesn’t mean to eavesdrop. Ni-ki just doesn’t notice him—again, something out of his control—because he’s so focused on his call and stroking a gentle hand up and down Jieun’s chest. So he just watches them quietly, observing. Manifesto, too, is on top of Ni-ki, curled up under his chin and seemingly asleep as well. Or at least, she isn’t running around the apartment and wreak havoc as she usually does when she’s awake and nobody’s playing with her to keep her entertained.

He feels out of place in his own home, like he just walked in on a little family. Warmth spreads through his chest at the domesticity of it all. Ni-ki just fits into this apartment, into the picture, into this family.

Jungwon has to do something about that. He can’t be the only one who feels like this. The easiest way is obviously to stop feeling like this and ignore it until it goes away.

There are really other things he has to worry about.

“Okay, well,” Ni-ki huffs halfheartedly and scoffs, “How would you feel if your ex was suddenly in front of you after three years?”

Say what.