Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Limbo ...

Darkness. At first, all that Alastor could see was darkness ... pure, mattblack darkness. It was very unsettling, even to a chap like Alastor ... who hated to admit to such things. How did he get here anyway?!

The tall man furrowed his brow as he looked around at his surroundings. Alastor seemed to be suspended in some kind of endless, dark void. Too dark to even see his hands ... and he honestly tried that!

The tall chap frowned more as he attempted to remember how he got there. Was this just a dream? Maybe a bad nightmare in his sleep at home ...

But I don't remember going home. I was hunting in the bayou, and-

Alastor suddenly went white in the face as memories spontaneously flooded his mind.

Sneaking through the bayou ... Hunting for deer ...

Gunshots in the distance ... the sounds of multiple dogs baying too ... coming closer ...

Snarling bloodhounds suddenly bounding into view and leaping onto him ...

Sharp teeth ... Biting ... Pain ... Agony ...

More footsteps coming closer ... frantic commands in a strange man's voice ... no more biting ...

Looking up at the traumatised face of a young man with a hunting rifle ... "H-Help me ... Please" ...

The young man gulps, and then points his rifle at Alastor's face ... the sound of a gunshot ... instant darkness falls ...

The aforementioned, tall chap shuddered in realisation, his shoulders slouching a bit. Alastor was dead.

Unequivocally, irrevocably ... dead.

The man suddenly had the most terrifying thought, and frantically felt his body all over! Alastor slowly relaxed as he discovered no injuries at all on his body.

The tall chap had been worried about that ... given the horrific nature of his death, but was relieved to find that everything was fine.

Speaking of fine though ...

"So ... this is the afterlife, eh?" Alastor's rich, charismatic voice sounded a bit echoey in the void of darkness around him. He chuckled sarcastically.

For such a concept, the endless, dark reality was far from what he imagined! It was dull, dreary and ... BORING.

Alastor hated being bored, more than anything else in the world!

"I have to admit that I'm slightly disappointed with what I see here", he remarked. "I really thought that the afterlife would be more ... entertaining?"

As the young man spoke the last word, the darkness around him suddenly shattered ... leaving bright white light in its place!

Alastor blinked, and then blinked again ... screwing up his eyes as they adjusted to the brightness around him. Looking around, the young chap found himself on a plain made out of fluffy, white clouds.

A few clumps of the same kind of clouds hang low overhead, and the sky is very blue. The calming blue of bluebirds.

Alastor was very pleased to confirm the assumption of his now undamaged clothes! Not only undamaged ... this was also Alastor's favourite suit! It seemed that, so far; the radio host had been lucky in the afterlife!

"Ally ..." the happy man then heard a whispering voice in the distance. A voice that was only too familiar to him.

"Maman (Mom)?" Alastor whispered back, tears brimming in his eyes.

The radio host had never got over the death of his mother, several years before his own. He still remembered bringing cool drinks to her bedside, and sitting with her during those final weeks.

Alastor couldn't forget his mother's pain-stricken, yet reassuring smile ... nor the incessant coughing caused by the vile tuberculosis. The sickness that killed the best and kindest woman in all the world.

A figure suddenly shimmered into existence some distance from the radio host. The glow of the figure died down a little ... enough for Alastor to recognise who it was.

His mother!

Her eyes sparkled with pure joy as she smiled and held out her arms to the young man.

"Ally!"

"Maman!" the aforementioned radio host cried with equal happiness, taking a step forward. The second he did though ...

Alastor cried out again, this time in panic, as the clouds to suddenly collapsed under his feet! The radio host only had time to see the happy expression on his mother's face change quickly to horror ... as he plummeted down into the darkness underneath the clouds.

"Maman!" Alastor called desperately, as he fell away from the person he loved most in all eternity.

"Alastor!" he heard her scream his name back ... in utter anguish.

———

Void ...

5 minutes later, the young man was still falling through the void of darkness ... and had stopped screaming. It seemed like just a waste of time now ... given how long it had been, and with nothing in sight in below him.

Alastor glanced up at the slowly retreating clouds above him, with some sadness. The radio host had always dreamed of reuniting with his mother again when he died ... but it didn't seem like it was going to be the case now.

I hope that she'll be all right ... thought Alastor, sighing deeply. He then frowned a little as he noticed a sudden change in the darkness around him.

The void was starting to turn slowly and faintly red ... and also getting hotter! A LOT hotter! The radio host winced and grimaced as the temperature rocketed up to above boiling ... hot enough to set him ablaze!

And yet ... Alastor didn't catch fire?

How interesting ... WOAH!

The young chap's train of thought was suddenly overcome with pure shock as he saw a mass of dark red clouds abruptly appearing below him!

Assuming that THIS was the imagined fire ... Alastor flailed his arms and legs around in panic as the clouds shot towards the falling man. Screwing his eyes shut and bracing for the impact, the radio host was most surprised when he finally hit the clouds!

Alastor merely passed through them without harm; the clouds themselves feeling like merely slightly wet air ... a lot like clouds on Earth. There was one noticeable difference though!

They smelt of sulphur, and made him sneeze!

Seconds later, Alastor plowed face-first into something below with tremendous force! Something that was hard and physical enough ... to count as 'ground'.

It was enough to knock the breath out of the radio host ... only for a couple of seconds though.

Chapter Text

Hell ...

Alastor groaned loudly as he slowly lifted his head up, his eyes bleary from dizziness. The young man then got to his feet, coughing a little as he quickly brushed his clothes down.

Alastor narrowed his eyes and frowned as he looked around, surveying his surroundings with well-learned wariness. The radio host was currently standing in a large field of dead grass before a large hill, underneath a dark sky, filled with red clouds.

Where the ever-loving heck am I?!

Turning around to look behind him, Alastor saw the glitter of city lights in the distance ... and the radio host's heart instantly leapt with a smidgeon of hope! His face immediately broke into its well-used, confident smile.

Maybe he could find out what this place was there? The now-cheerful radio host took a step in the direction of the unknown city ... only to halt at the horribly familiar sound of howling hounds.

The howls were coming from behind the hill, now behind him. Whirling back to face the hill, Alastor's heart beat frantically in his chest as his breathing sped up in panic.

Calm down, Alastor ... calm down now, the young man mentally told himself, smiling nervously. They're just dogs, ordinary dogs ... dogs that are NOT hunting you! Calm down ...

The radio host's therapeutic mantra stopped with a strangled shriek of fear, as five monstrous, snarling demons suddenly appeared at the top of the hill. They then started to run down it towards the quaking Alastor.

Pure horror and fear flashed across the young man's face as he took in the demons' incoming monstrous forms. radio host. They looked like infernal versions of hunting hounds ... a description which instantly brought Alastor's nightmarish demise to the forefront of his mind again!

The aforementioned man screamed in terror again, turning around and attempting to run towards the city lights for safety. His breathing speed became faster and faster, as gruesome images of hunting dogs and their sharp fangs slathered in drool ... ran through his mind.

Alastor was determined that that kind of thing was NOT going to happen to him again! Definitely not soon, anyway! Unfortunately for the radio host, some of the demons quickly raced past him, and then stopped and turned around to face the young man.

Alastor halted too, now painfully aware that he was now trapped in a circle of demons ... who had all stopped. They were grinning at him sadistically, and nudging each other meaningfully.

Although, the young chap had often worn a sadistic grin when slaying people in life .. it actually felt quite unnerving for him to receive such looks now!

"What-What are you ... creatures?" a visibly-sweating, frightened Alastor stammered, as he looked around at all of the demons. "Where the frigging hell am I?!"

Even as the radio host asked the questions, he had a nasty, 'knowing' feeling in his chest. A feeling that boded very ill for him. In response, all of the demons laughed ... very nasty, wheezing snickers.

"You just answered your own question, dumbo!" one demon jeered, pointing at himself and the surrounding area. Alastor's eyes widened and his jaw dropped as the full horror and shock of the situation hit him like a thunderbolt from the sky above!

I'm–I'm in HELL?!! the young man thought in despair ... with a faint tone of resignation.

Looking back ... Alastor's serial killing deeds probably hadn't done him any good in the eyes of Heaven, he admitted. Speaking of which ...

Alastor then looked up at the sky above, and saw what appeared to be a planet mostly covered in clouds ... glowing with an ethereal radiance. Immediately, the radio host knew that this had to be Heaven! He only wished it wasn't so darn far away ...

The planet of Heaven seemed to hang strangely lower in the sky of Hell, than planets normally do in the Living World ... almost close enough to touch. But Alastor knew that that place ultimately lay at an unreachable distance.

Unreachable for him at least.

The young man's expression began to screw up into a teary scowl as he continued to look up.

It wasn't fair! IT WASN'T FAIR! His mother was up there! Everything that he ever loved and cared for ... combined into one single soul ... was up above. Out of Alastor's reach.

A tear slid down his right cheek, and was followed by another one down his left.

Possibly ... forever.

The radio host sniffled a little, but quickly brushed the tears away as he heard mocking laughter from the surrounding demons.

"Oooo, we've got a crybaby here!" one said in a 'babyish' voice, while smirking. "Look at his pathetic little face!"

"You miss your mommy, eh?" mocked another demon.

"I bet she isn't missing him though! Whoever could love someone like him?!" a third hound drawled, looking at Alastor with derision.

"Yeah! He looks more like a living rake than a person!" the last demon cackled, pointing to the aforementioned man's thin figure.

The radio host's face flushed red with growing anger and hurt pride at the demons' insults, and he gritted his teeth hard. Not just at the rude words directed at his person, but more particularly at his MOTHER!

Anyone who knew Alastor very well would know that the chap did not ever tolerate insults that were made to or involved his mother!!

Those fools who made them ... well, let's just say that they soon ended up in the nearby bayou as food for the alligators ... not long afterwards.

Chapter Text

The radio host then was distracted from his dark thoughts by the first demon speaking again.

"Agreed! Also, it looks like this guy hasn't transformed yet!" the aforementioned, monstrous hound quipped. Alastor frowned in confusion for a moment.

Transformed? What does he mean?

"We can have some great fun with him here and now before it happens!" The other demonic hounds simultaneously chuckled and cheered at the suggestion.

"And after?" the third demon questioned, with a knowing, wicked smile.

"Exactly", the first one answered, smiling in a just as evil way.

The young man did not like the sound of this at all! He liked what the hellish creatures said next even less!

"What shall we do first, though? We could string him up to a tree and play 'piñata' with him?" the fourth demonic hound suggested, smirking.

"Nice one!" the first one acknowledged, cheerily.

"Or we could play 'pin the tail of the donkey'!" the second then said ... while making stabbing motions with his claws. The first demon's face became thoughtful at that.

"Hmmmm ... I do like that game!" he hummed.

"Ooo, I've got an idea!" the third hound interrupted ... which caused a slight scowl from the first one.

"We could maybe play a nice game of Tag with Mr Rake-Boy here ... and make it like a hunt? First to catch him gets to rip him to pieces!"

Said demonic dog was now grinning like a velociraptor as he looked around at his comrades.

"What do ya say, everyone?"

The whole group of demons immediately erupted into a chorus of cheers and whoops of agreement. There was no question now which option the gleeful pack would choose.

Alastor is not so gleeful though ... his face paling every time a new violent pastime was mentioned. He nervously eyed the menacing demons, before taking a deep breath.

The radio host then clenched his fists and raised them up in an attempt to defend himself. Pretty futile, given the demons' obviously vicious fangs and claws ... but Alastor was NEVER one to back down from a fight!

The aforementioned chap was also now smiling widely at his would-be attackers ... a pretty grim smile, not a happy one. Alastor had always believed in smiling in front of other people ... even when they were being aggressive.

He considered the act in itself a sign of power and strength! Unfortunately, the pack of slavering demons didn't think the same!

"Pathetic!" the first one scoffed, obviously unimpressed.

"If that was Rake-Boy's best effort; I'd hate to see his worst!" the second agreed, sneering directly at Alastor.

"Yeah, totally pathetic!" the remaining hounds chorused in unison.

Mocking laughs and jeers rang out as the devilish dogs then started to slowly close in on the young man. The radio host's smile shrank a little as he noticed the demon's particularly vicious and sadistic toothy grins.

'Damnation!' Alastor inwardly cursed. 'It looks like I'm surrounded, for sure! Definitely surrounded! Dang and blast it! I'm probably gonna get ripped apart ... again!'

He shuddered with horror and queasiness at the thought. 'Mauled twice in one day ... if it is the same day, that is?' the chap wondered miserably.

'Well, all I can say is thank you, Papa Legba!' The radio host's fear and despair suddenly turned to anger. 'Thank you SO much, old man ... for keeping your word, and honouring our past bargain! NOT!'

Years ago, Alastor had taken a big risk, and made a direct deal with Papa Legba himself ... one of the most most powerful spirits in the Vodun religion.

Being a powerful and potentially dangerous deity, some would call the radio host 'foolish' at least for doing that! But Alastor ... not fancying his potential prospects in the afterlife, due to his macabre habits ... did do the deal anyway!

The young chap had specifically asked for protection and power from Papa Legba, when he got to the afterlife. The deity, in return ... hadn't really asked for much in return, to Alastor's surprise.

Just the condition of being able to watch the 'entertainment' of Alastor using his powers. It tickled the radio host that Papa Legba's request was one seemingly after his own heart.

'I must beg to differ ... young man', the ancient being suddenly spoke into Alastor's mind.

'I am a being of my word, and do intend to honour our bargain. The one you spoke of just now, with your very kind words', he added dryly.

There was a clear note of disapproval in Papa Legba's voice ... one that instantly chilled the young man to the bone. Alastor flushed in embarrassment for a moment, already regretting his reckless and stupid thoughts.

Of all the unbelievable idiots! The last thing he wanted was for Papa Legba to get seriously angry, and actually revoke the deal for real!

"I ... I deeply apologise for my rash language, my lord. It was completely unnecessary and uncalled for, despite my currently dangerous situation.

I promise to not be so rude in the future, and sincerely regret any form of disrespect that my words may have caused you, my lord", the radio host apologised, sincerely and meekly.

In response, he heard a series of eldritch chuckles ... which sounded amused.

'Hmmmmm ... That's better ...'

Alastor's smile quickly turns to a relieved one as he lets out a sigh of relief. The young man was unaware though that his last statement had been said OUT LOUD!

The group of demons, however ...

"Huh? Who's he talking to?" the third hound asked in confusion ... and then suddenly yelped in fright!

The various shadows in the landscape around them had abruptly come to life, and started to swarm ... trickling in droves around and between the feet of the demon dogs.

Said monsters had now stopped in their tracks, looking pretty scared and unnerved now. Even for wicked, hardened souls condemned to Hell for eternity!

"What in the name of Satan is this?" the first hound demanded, trying not to look like a coward.

"Yeah! What's going on?" the fourth one cried, who was less interested in looking 'brave'.

Their only answer was a menacing, slightly demonic cackle from Alastor himself! The uncannily cheerful man was now giving his would-be tormentors a truly terrifying grin.

"My crowning moment, that's what!" the radio host stated jubilantly. "This cat's getting his pyjamas, and it's going to be quite the 'meow'!"

Out of the corner of Alastor's right eye, he saw the swarming shadows suddenly turn and race towards him with all speed! But this didn't seem to seem to worry the young man, who merely raised his arms in welcome, and closed his eyes ... still smiling.

A second later, one shadow swarm struck Alastor full force, making him convulse and shriek in agony. The rest of the shadows began to swirl rapidly around Alastor in an expanding circle, hiding the spasming man from the demons.

Said demons had already retreated to a safe distance, behind some nearby rocks. They'd started running the moment the shadows had lunged at Alastor, showing at least some level of self-preservation.

The pack of demonic hounds were now watching the spectacle from their new vantage point, and anxiously glancing at each other.

"What the literal hell is going on?!" the second hound asked the first one, his voice getting hysterical. The latter was silent ... for once, not knowing what to say.

———

Alastor's pained screams from the maelstrom of shadows continued to ring around the area for several minutes, but slowly ... ever so slowly ... the screams changed to laughter.

Wild, insane, chaotic laughter ... accompanied by a slow-growing sound of loud radio static. This, of course, did absolutely nothing to settle the demon dogs' nerves!

Deep inside the darkness, the laughing Alastor was still jerking and twitching around as powerful, magical and physical changes rock his thin frame. The level of agony the radio host was experiencing at the moment was utterly unbelievable!

He felt like he was going to die ... again! But, along with the pain, Alastor felt a strange, kind of unnatural power filling his body ... flowing through his veins.

Or was that the pain? Alastor couldn't tell anymore ...

Red-coloured tendrils of magic suddenly flickered into existence among the shadows whirling around him ... the tendrils crackling and seeping through all of the radio host's clothes.

The effect of that left them red as blood, and warped in a new style. His new, smart outfit was one of mainly bright red pinstripes, hoof-print shoes, and long, dark red gloves on his hands.

Alastor's glasses vibrated with the force of the eerie magic, slowly twisting and forming into something new ... a red-tinted monocle, which still sat on his face.

The young man's dark brown hair was blown up from his head by the shadows' movement, the locks staying up and turning black and red in the process.

The radio host's ears also grew more pointed, furry, and upwards as well, now resembling those of a deer. Tiny antlers also grow on Alastor's head, just in front of his new deer ears.

The changes to the aforementioned man's teeth were perhaps the scariest ones of all! Alastor's pearly-white teeth turned yellowish first, and then sharpened into vicious fangs.

Sharper than those of sharks, and even more dangerous! Oddly enough, he was still smiling ... even in the midst of a literal life change!

Tiny glints of red light then appeared in the radio host's soft, brown eyes ... growing brighter and brighter by the second. Soon, the red glow had consumed the brown; widening Alastor's eyes into red, luminescent, slit-pupilled ones.

Finally, a large, old-fashioned microphone staff ... in different shades of red ... manifested in the storm of shadows and floated over to the changed man's right hand. As he took the staff, the maelstrom of whirling shadows suddenly bulged out to an enormous size in a couple of seconds!

A moment later ... it exploded in a flash of red light, and unearthly chuckling from TWO voices. The demons all covered their eyes as stray shadows fell to the ground around them ... and so didn't see what happened next.

The remaining shadows were all swiftly sucked into Alastor's new microphone staff as he slammed it against the ground ... like water gurgling down a drain. All sounds soon stopped, leaving an unnerving silence behind.

After a while, the group of dog demons cautiously uncovered their eyes. They slowly peeked out from their hiding places at the spot where Alastor had been ... only to see nothing there now.

The aforementioned man had simply disappeared! But how?

This was a question that all of the demonic hounds were thinking simultaneously ... and one that was swiftly answered. Shadows swirled in a sinister fashion behind the unaware beings, as a tall grinning, antlered figure arose from said darkness.

"Good day, gentlemen!"

Alastor's familiar, but changed voice greeted them loudly and cheerfully.

His voice now sounded like it was filled with static and sound frequencies ... the kind you'd get on an old-fashioned radio. The group of other demons all jumped and yelped in fright at this!

They then whirled around to find ... Alastor, in his new and improved form, smirking at them. The still grinning new DEMON was inspecting his changed outfit, ears, and antlers ... not to mention the new red microphone he held in one hand!

Alastor curiously tapped the aforementioned device a couple of times ... causing an eye to swiftly open up on it!

"Hello there!" The demonic hounds yelped once again, but the deer demon just ignored them completely. He only had eyes for the living microphone staff.

"Are you my new master? The one the old man called Alastor?" the microphone asked. The aforementioned demon raised an eyebrow at this, his grin growing.

"Ah, I see. Yes, that's me! I presume that you're an extra gift from HIM, aren't you?" Alastor quipped, feeling intrigued.

Of all of the years he spent studying voodoo and other magical arts ... this was the first time that the radio host had seen a talking microphone!

"Yep!" said microphone chirped brightly. "He said that you might need some help in letting your voice be heard down here? Not that you necessarily needed extra help, according to him!"

Alastor's eyes narrowed a little, but he laughed lightly.

"Hmmmm ... somewhat of a joker, I see", he said sassily.

"W-Who the heck are you?" "What the hell ARE you?!!"

Both the deer demon and his microphone were instantly distracted by the two questions from the group of demon dogs ... who'd lingered in the area.

Alastor smirks sadistically.

Fools. They should have left when they had the chance, he thought.

"Ah yes ... who am I? Such a pity that you 'fine gentlemen' never asked it before!" The deer demon's voice was cordial, but sarcastic, as he turned to fully face the other demons.

"If I recall correctly, the bunch of you gave me the charming nickname of 'Rake-Boy' earlier?"

Said pack of hounds quivered miserably and fearfully at the sheer iciness of the tone Alastor used as he said 'Rake-Boy'. They tried to back away, only to back into walls of shadows that suddenly materialised ... blocking their escape route.

"As for WHAT I am ... NOW?"

The deer demon's antlers started to grow and sprout new prongs rapidly, as he drawled those words. The radio static around Alastor also increased in pitch and volume ... not to mention his eyes!

Their pupils had turned to radio dials ... glowing red ones.

"Allow me to show you ... gentlemen—"

"Anything I can do to help, boss?" The living microphone suddenly spoke, interrupting the deer demon's vicious monologue. Alastor turned to look at the staff in curiosity, his brow furrowed in thought.

"Hmmmm ..." He hummed for a second. "Can you broadcast by yourself?" the deer demon asked.

In reply, the microphone glowed red and levitated up into the air ... vibrating all over, as if to say 'yes'!

"All over Hell, boss! Just say the word!"

"Good."

Alastor then turned very, VERY slowly and menacingly back to face his trembling, demonic prey.

"Start now, my fine fellow!"

The next few minutes were filled with the most gutwrenching screams and cries for mercy from the demonic hounds ... not to mention the horrified expressions of the listeners, who were frozen in place next to their radios!

It was not just the screams that terrified them, but also the insane, overly-cheerful cackles of evil glee that accompanied the chaos!

———

With every massacre he broadcasted, Alastor's notoriety in Hell grew and grew ...

He soon rose to power as an Overlord of Hell; and was given the nickname: 'The Radio Demon' ... by Hell's denizens ...

Alastor also became a skilful dealmaker, a man of many secrets ... one whose sole goal was to seek the best entertainment ever!

That persistence led Alastor straight to the doors of the Hazbin Hotel, hoping to find delight in its potential failure to redeem sinners ...

But will Alastor find what he's looking for? Or something else?

As Alastor himself would say:

... Stay tuned ... hehehe