Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The last time they had summoned Mister Greg, a few weeks before they all graduated high school, he had requested to speak to each of them privately. 

When it had been Casey´s turn, he had asked her about her plans for her future. Over the course of that conversation, she had mentioned that she did not want children; she had plans of her own for how to live her life, and the time and money and effort it took to properly raise a child would make too much of these plans impossible for her.

“That is a perfectly valid and legitimate choice”, Mister Greg had told her in the same tone he always used when giving her and her friends advice, serious but never patronizing. “Never let anyone tell you otherwise. You alone decide what you want to do with your life.”

He laid a hand on her shoulder. “You might enjoy being an aunt, though. And I think you would be very good at it.”

Casey remembered that last conversation again, years later.

It was a warm, rainy summer day in the Pacific Northwest when she walked up to her sister´s house. Alice opened the door before she could ring the bell, and immediately pulled her into a hug.

“Casey! It's so good to see you again!”

“It's good to be back”, Casey replied.

“How was Australia?”

“Dry and sunny.” She gave her sister a wry smile. “It really made me appreciate constantly being rained on.”

On the one hand, spending two semesters abroad as an exchange student had been an invaluable experience for Casey that had taught her so many things. On the other hand, missing her niece´s birth and not being able to support her sister during that exhausting time had stung, and seeing everyone during regular video calls was no substitute for being there in person, especially in light of how quickly babies developed in their first year.

“Come in, Casey”, Alice urged her. “We've been waiting for you.”

Alice´s husband Dan got up from the couch as Casey entered the living room. He, too, gave her a hug, though not one quite as long as her sister´s.

“Good to see you again”, he said. “But, please, don't let me keep you. I'm sure you´re really here for someone else.”

He directed her attention to the the middle of the room, where an infant was sitting surrounded by colorful toys, highly focussed on examining the tassels of the throw rug.

The feeling of happiness flooding through Casey was indescribable. The exhaustion from the journey here, her empty stomach, all immediately became irrelevant as the presence of her niece filled her heart.

Mister Greg´s words echoed through her mind. You might enjoy being an aunt, though. And I think you would be very good at it.

“Oh my god, she´s gotten so big!”

Casey sat down on the floor in front of her niece, who looked at her without letting go of the tassel she was holding.

“Hello Lindsay”, she said. “I'm your aunt Casey.”

“Boo?” Lindsay asked, obviously not quite sure what to make of the woman she´d never met in person before.

“Yeah. You don't know me yet, young lady, but we have plenty of time to get to know each other.”

“Bah”, Lindsay replied, and went back to examining the tassels.

Dan laughed. “Don't take it personally. That rug is just really fascinating. And apparently also delicious - she keeps trying to eat it.”

Casey made a funny face at the infant. “What do I hear there, you little rug-muncher? Have you been trying to get some unauthorized extra fibers? That´s not what a balanced diet looks like!”

“Ah bah boo!”

Alice sat down on the couch next to her husband, smiling as she watched her sister play with her daughter.

This felt right, somehow. She and her husband loved each other, they had a beautiful daughter together, her sister would be a loving aunt. Life was good. And somewhere, deep down, without any idea where that thought might have come from, Alice knew that she deserved this - that her daughter deserved this, too. That, somehow, at some point, the two of them had worked hard to prepare for their life together. That they were now ready to be the best mother and daughter they could be.

Then something Casey said interrupted her train of thought.

“Your mommy told me your name is Lindsay. But, you know… I don't think that´s right. Just look at you!”

Lindsay, who was once again determinedly chewing on one of the tassels, ignored her aunt.

“Young lady, I'm pretty sure your real name is Ruggy the Rug-Muncher.”

Alice heard her husband chuckle beside her.

Ruggy? Alice considered the nickname. It, too, felt right.

Angel had an arm around Sharkie´s shoulders as they watched the footage on MortalTube. Tears were running down both their faces.

“I'm so glad to see my mom has a good life”, Sharkie said quietly, quivering voice betraying the sobs that lurked underneath it. “I miss her. And now I miss Ruggy so much, too - she´s been with us for so long.”

Sharkie swallowed hard. “But I'm so glad she finally got her happy ending.”

“I miss Ruggy, too”, Angel said. “But… a happy ending? I don't think so.”

Sharkie looked up at her in confusion; Angel smiled at Sharkie through her tears.

“I think Ruggy finally got her happy beginning.”

Chapter Text

Casey

It was mid-morning by the time Lindsay came walking into the living room - still in her pajamas, not exactly wide-awake, but far better than she had been the previous evening.

“Good morning, Lindsay”, Casey called out. “How are you?”

Lindsay stopped in her tracks, then blinked several times. “Eh. I'm pretty sure my brain is still at the airport; maybe I left it at the baggage claim place? But I couldn't go back to sleep, so I guess I'm awake now.”

Casey chuckled. Lindsay´s flight to Honolulu from Seattle had been plagued by delays, and instead of arriving in the early afternoon, it had been evening when they finally reached Casey´s apartment. It had been the first time Lindsay had traveled alone, or any kind of longer distance at all, and between the delay and two hours´ worth of jetlag, the experience had wrung her niece out.

 “It was a long day for you, and jetlag can be pretty rough. If it's any consolation, it always hit me just as hard, even when I was your age.”

“I seem to recall you hiding it a lot better, though.”

“Possibly. But then, I had an adorable little rug-muncher waiting for me, not to mention your equally adorable younger siblings, whereas all you have waiting for you is your old Auntie.”

That got a laugh out of Lindsay.

“All right.” Casey stood up. “How about a light breakfast now, and then we go get some fresh air at the beach until it is time for lunch?”

The sunshine and fresh air by the beach worked wonders on her niece, Casey found. Lindsay quickly became more lively and upbeat as they strolled along the seaside. They ate lunch at a beach restaurant, watching the surfers out on the ocean, before Lindsay´s exhaustion caught up with her again and she asked to go home for a nap.

Though she decided not to say anything, at least not yet, Casey felt relief at the sight of how Lindsay´s mood was changing since she arrived. From what her sister Alice, Lindsay´s mother, had told her, Lindsay had gotten bullied more or less constantly throughout her high school years, on account of both her looks and her interests - floristry was apparently, in the view of today´s cool kids, totally lame.

Casey had noticed during her infrequent visits how hard all that had been on Lindsay. Her niece had soldiered on, though, with whatever moral support her family could give her, and graduated high school with decent if not extraordinary grades.

The things her niece had gone through, and the courage she had shown in the face of that, had been a large part of the reason why Casey had invited her for a visit, although she had framed it as a high school graduation gift and a chance for herself to spend some time with her beloved niece - Lindsay really deserved a reward for that kind of resilience, as well as a mood booster..

Casey enjoyed being an aunt. But to her, being aunt also came with an obligation - to be there for Lindsay and her siblings when they needed her. And right now, Lindsay needed someone to lift her spirits and help her build the confidence she would need to tackle adult life.

Lindsay

It had still been quite a bit early for dinner when Lindsay had woken up from her nap, so she had arranged with her aunt that she would go down to the beach on her own for a while before meeting up with her again for dinner.

Lindsay made her way to the restaurant where they had eaten lunch, and started looking around, not really knowing what she was looking for. Something about the beach, about the surfers out there riding the waves, had clicked with her. 

It wasn't the surfing itself, she thought; she had never been one to enjoy sports very much, or showing off her body (what there was to show off about it) in a bikini on the beach.

No… it just felt that she ought be here, in this place, at this time. That she belonged here, at this moment. She had never had this kind of gut feeling in her life, and she did not know what to make of it.

Lindsay´s introspection was interrupted when one of the surfers approached her.

The woman was tall, about half a head taller than Lindsay herself, and looked to be in her early twenties. Her exotic facial features and deeply tanned skin did not seem to belong to any ethnic group Lindsay knew of; her long, braided hair, white at the roots and gradually darkening to a lustrous black at the tips, looked surprisingly natural for what had to be a pretty skillful dye job. She wore shorts and a black crop top with red-and-yellow flames forming the words “Hotter than Hell” on it, and carried a surfboard under one arm.

“Can I help you?” Her voice was pleasant, almost entrancingly so, and carried a hint of concern. “You look a bit lost.”

Lindsay froze for a moment. If high school had taught her anything, it was that someone as attractive and self-confident as this woman was probably the alpha bitch of her particular clique, or whatever they called it among surfers. Someone like that would not want to interact with someone like Lindsay, unless it was to amuse themselves at her expense. 

“What? Oh… ah… no, thank you.” She spoke quickly, almost stumbling over the words, hoping to get this over with as quickly as possible. “I'm just looking around.”

The smile lighting up the woman´s face looked surprisingly genuine. “You´re not from around here, are you?” 

“No, I'm… visiting”, she replied. “I only just arrived.”

“Ah. Well, I´ve been around for a while, so if you have any questions, just ask. I'm Angel, by the way.”

She held out her hand, and Lindsay took it, more out of surprise than anything else. This was not how she was accustomed to such things going.

“Lindsay. …Nice to meet you.”

Angel´s smile grew wider, and warmer.

“Welcome to Hawaii. I hope you´ll be having a wonderful time here.”

Casey

When Casey at the agreed-upon meeting place, she saw her niece deep in conversation with one of the surfers, a tall, exotic-looking woman.

How had Lindsay made a friend so quickly? With her experiences in high school, Casey would have expected her to be a lot more withdrawn and shy.

As she approached the two of them, Casey felt something stir in the back of her mind, something that she couldn't immediately place, but that at the same time felt familiar and comforting nonetheless.

The surfer noticed Casey just before she reached the two of them.

“I think there´s someone looking for you”, she said.

Lindsay spun around, startled, and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Casey.

“Oh - hi!”

“You have made a friend already, I see.”

Lindsay blushed. “I… guess so?”

“I'm Angel.” The surfer smiled at Casey. “Your niece and I were just chatting for a bit.”

“Are you ready for dinner, Lindsay?”

Lindsay looked back and forth between her and Angel.

“Don't let me keep you”, Angel said. “The beach isn't that big - we´ll meet again.”

“Ah… all right then. See you, Angel!”

“See you, Ruggy! Enjoy your dinner.”

The moment they were out of sight of the beach, Lindsay stopped.

“Auntie, can we please go home? I… I'm not really in the mood for dinner any more.”

Something in Lindsay´s tone freaked Casey out. “What's wrong, sweetie?”

“I'm scared”, Lindsay said in a shaky voice.

“Scared? Of what? Or who?”

“Angel. She called me Ruggy - you heard her.”

“You didn't tell her about your nickname?” Casey felt a cold shiver running down her spine.

Lindsay shook her head. “I didn't tell her you´re my aunt, either.”

They rushed home, and Lindsay immediately retreated to the guest bedroom, curling up in bed holding the great white shark plushie that Casey had offered as emotional support.

Lindsay locked all the doors, activated the burglar alarms, then sat down on floor in the corridor outside the guest bedroom, watching her niece through the open door until she finally fell asleep.

In the safety of her own home, with Lindsay taken care of, Casey could finally calm her mind down to the point that she could try to make sense of the evening´s events.

How could this mysterious woman know what she knew? Here in Hawaii, only a handful of her colleagues knew that she had a niece at all, much less who she was or that she was visiting her right now. And nobody outside her close family knew about Lindsay´s early childhood nickname - by the time she was old enough to go to school, she'd grown embarrassed of it because of how it came to be, and made her family promise not to tell anyone about it.

So how could anyone have learned this? It's not like they could have used magic to -

Oh fuck.

Magic.

All of a sudden, Casey not only remembered the odd feeling she´d had when approaching Angel, she also remembered why it was so familiar.

Mister Greg. And Mister Bel.

Their presence had felt different from that of any person Casey had ever known… except for Angel.

Which had to mean that Angel was a demon, just like Mister Greg and Mister Bel.

Lindsay got up and took a look inside the bedroom to make sure Lindsay was asleep, then quietly closed the bedroom door.

Now, where had she stored all her notes from back then?

By the time Lindsay woke and walked into the living room, still wearing the previous day´s clothes, Casey was almost finished double-checking all the little details of the summoning circle she had drawn on the living room floor.

Lindsay´s eyes widened when she saw the complex chalkwork.

“Aunt Casey… what are you doing?”

“I'm going to summon a demon.” Seeing the incredulous expression on her niece´s face, she added: “I am a woman of many talents - didn't you know?”

“But… but… how…?”

Casey sighed. “You may want to sit down for that one. It's kind of a long story.”

“Mister Greg and Mister Bel taught us a lot of things back then”, Casey finished her recollection.

“Like what?” Lindsay asked, her eyes wide with a mix of wonder and fear. “Putting curses on people and reading the future in chicken entrails?”

Casey shook her head. “Doing French braids, actually. Applying liquid eyeliner. Picking locks. And selling Girl Scout cookies, too - mostly to them.”

“They… you have got to be kidding!”

“And the last time we summoned him, Mister Bel gave us the names of several other demons that he said we could summon if we, or our loved ones, ever experienced any kind of trouble that might be connected to demons”, Casey added.

“You are one of my loved ones, and based on what being near this surfer felt like, I am reasonably confident that she is some kind of demon. She scared you, - and me, too, honestly - which I guess qualifies as trouble.” 

She took a deep breath. “So now I am going to deal with this.”

Casey finished the summoning chant, then declared: “I call on you, Dantelion!”

One instant, the summoning circle had been empty. The next, a bewildered demon stood at its center. He was tall, seven feet or maybe a little less, and muscular, his skin was dark green, and he had two sets of horns on his head; he wore jeans and a white t-shirt with a strangely cheerful cartoon devil and the words “Guardian Demon” printed on it.

The demon looked around, taking in the surroundings; he looked at Lindsay, sitting against the wall beside the door towards the corridor, ready to run the moment this turned too scary for her. Finally, he turned back to Casey; his eyes widened briefly when he noticed the bottle of liquid soap she was holding..

“I think I have heard of you”, he said with a voice less deep than has size and build suggested. “You´re Casey, aren't you?”

“The one with the soap, yes”, she replied coolly. “I'm glad to hear my reputation precedes me.”

“It does. Prince Beleth was quite impressed with you.”

“All right… just to make sure I´ve got the right one… you´re Dantelion?”

The demon sighed. “I go by Dante, usually. I'm guessing Prince Beleth gave you my full name? The short version wouldn't have worked.”

“He did. He gave us the names of several demons, actually, in case any of us ever had any trouble that might be demon-related.”

“Yeah, that tracks. Of course he´d want you to have the resources you need.” Dante looked embarrassed all of a sudden. “There was this one incident we faced where a soul didn't have those resources and had to wait until the afterlife to deal with the demon responsible. That was… not a happy time for anyone involved.”

“And that is exactly what we´re facing here right now.” Casey set the soap bottle down. “You might as well take a seat, because I have the feeling this will take a while.”

By the time Casey had finished her explanation, Lindsay had inched closer to the summoning circle, until she sat on the floor beside her aunt, eyeing Dante with a mix of curiosity and apprehension.

“So that´s the situation”, Casey concluded. “She looked perfectly human, but she felt like a demon, and I have no idea how she knew about… us.”

Dante considered Casey´s words carefully, then looked at Lindsay.

“You said she called herself Angel?”

“Yeah.”

“I think I know her. Well, knew her - she hasn't been around much lately.”

“So who is she? And how does she know me?”

“That´s… kind of a long story.” He turned to Casey. “Did Prince Beleth or Lord Gregorith tell you anything about the Hellp Desk?”

“A bit. Mostly that it exists, what it does, and that both their wives work there.”

“I used to work there, too, when I was a teenager - back in the days when you and your friends summoned them. And so did Angel.”

He took a deep breath. “What do you know about reincarnation?”

The sudden shift in topic surprised Casey. “Not a lot. I don't think Mister Bel and Mister Greg ever mentioned it. I´ve heard stuff, but I have no idea if that's more than just random bullshit floating around.”

“Let´s start with the basics, then. When souls who lived good lives arrive in the afterlife, one of the options they get is to reincarnate - start a new life with basically a blank slate. Souls who… have lessons that they need to learn, or who have been kind of shitty in life but are still capable of redemption… they get to reincarnate as well, once they have completed whatever healing or punishment they needed.”

“And the ones that aren't?” Lindsay asked. “Capable of redemption, I mean? What happens to them.

“Their Hell looks a lot more like what you´d imagine”, Dante replied. “Punishment for all eternity. Those are the ones you really don't need to feel sorry for, though.”

“That doesn't sound so bad”, Lindsay said quietly.

“It really isn't. Not unless you´re an absolutely terrible person.”

“So… about reincarnation…”, Casey said.

“Yes… so…” Dante looked at Lindsay, clearly looking for the right way to phrase what he was going to tell her.

For all the emotional wringer she´d been through, Lindsay was a smart kid.

“Am I one of those people?” she asked. “A reincarnation?”

Dankte breathed a deep sigh. “Yes, you are. So is your mother, for that matter.”

“But… I don't remember anything.”

“You can't. That´s not how this works - at least as far as I know. This was never my area of expertise. The way I understand it, souls forget all their earlier lives, and their time in the afterlife, when they reincarnate, and only remember them again after they die. They do remember the lessons they learned, at least in general terms.”

“What does that mean?”

“Tell me: Did you ever feel the urge to scream at someone in customer service - a cashier or waitress for example - because things took too long, or because they couldn't do things the way you wanted them to?”

“What? No, of course not - that´s nasty!”

Dante smiled at her. “And that is one of those lessons you - your soul - learned during your time in the afterlife. Unfortunately, you were not a particularly pleasant person in your previous life, but you were willing to improve yourself.”

“...Sorry.”

“No need to be. As far as the Universe is concerned, you learned your lesson in the afterlife, you redeemed yourself, and as long as you stay the way you are now, that is all ancient history.”

Casey cut in: “You knew Lindsay when she was in the afterlife?”

“Yes.” Dante´s expression turned sad. “Your sister reincarnated before I met the people at the Hellp Desk; they knew her, not me, I only ever heard stories. I think in her previous life she was the birth mother of one of the people there. But I worked with Lindsay for a long time before her reincarnation. Though she called herself Ruggy back then. That's also how Angel knows her.”

“Is that why Angel was here? To meet an old colleague again?”

After a moment´s hesitation, Dante said: “There were a bit more than just colleagues then. It… went quite a bit deeper than that.”

“What do you mean, deeper than that?” Lindsay asked.

“Well, to begin with, when you were in the afterlife, Angel helped you with your progress… with undoing the damage from what made you such an unpleasant person in your last life. The two of you grew very close.”

Dante sighed, and his tone was sad when he continued to speak. “Angel was happy for you when you earned your reincarnation… but she also took it really hard when you were gone. She barely even showed up at the Hellp desk any more - it reminded her too much of you.”

“And she´s here to meet me - is it because I'm a grown-up now?”

“It could be. She didn't talk to any of us before she came here.”

Casey thought about what Dante had said. “Thank you for your explanation. Since you know Angel better than either us… do you think there is any reason to think that Angel might cause Lindsay any harm?”

Dante shook his head firmly. “No. Not intentionally, anyway. And I am certain that, if she realized she scared Lindsay last night, she is devastated right now.”

Angel

Angel sat at the bar, nursing her margarita. How many had she had already since Ruggy left? Too many, probably, and also definitely not enough.

Fuck.

She had blown it. She had been so happy and excited to see Ruggy again that she had forgotten that there were things ´Angel the surfer´ could not know about.

Ruggy - no, she was Lindsay once more - hadn't said anything, but Angel was sure she had caught it. There had been the slightest hint of fear in her goodbyes to Angel, and she had been a bit too eager to get away.

Fuck.

All she had wanted to do was to see Ruggy again after so many years, spend some time with her, and get to know the person she had become in her new life. But, no, she had to screw it up.

Angel took another sip from her drink. What was there left for her to do now? Get really drunk, go back to Hell, and feel sorry for herself until Ruggy died and they were reunited? Fifty years from now? Sixty? Seventy? How long did mortals live these days?

Somebody sat down beside her. Angel was willing to ignore them, but if this was some mortal idiot who decided to hit on her… well, it was unlikely that punching someone in the face would make her feel better, but at least it wasn't going to make her feel any worse.

“Hi!”

Angel almost dropped her drink when she recognized the voice. It was Ruggy! A shy smile was on her face, the same smile Angel remembered from the early days of their friendship in the afterlife.

“Ru- … uh, I mean, Lindsay! I'm so sorry I scared you! I don't even have an excuse, I just…”

“It's okay - you can call me Ruggy if you want. I was just scared because I didn't know where you´d heard the name.”

“Yeah. I…” Angel hesitated. How was she going to explain this in a way that sounded even remotely believable to a mortal?

Ruggy´s smile grew warmer. “It's okay now. Dante explained it all to me.”

Wait, what ? Angel gaped at Ruggy. 

“How…?” Then she remembered. “Oh, right. Your aunt was one of those girls who -”

She broke off. This was veering into topics best not overheard by random mortals.

“Would you like to take a walk? All of a sudden I don't have any sorrows left to drown.”

Lindsay

“I found it! This -” Angel held her phone so that Ruggy could see the picture “- is the crew of the Hellp Desk.”

The people standing behind the row of desks were a very mixed bunch, most of them obviously humans. Angel was there, of course, with pink skin, a pair of spiral horns and exceptionally skimpy clothing, but still very much recognizable. The green beanpole of a demon standing to one side…

“Is that Dante?” Lindsay asked.

“Hard to believe he was ever that scrawny, right? And you wouldn't believe the kind of self-esteem issues he had because of it.”

“And…” Lindsay pointed at the woman standing arm in arm next to Angel.

“Who else could that be, if not you?” Angel confirmed.

The woman wearing a maroon “Hellp Desk Trainee” t-shirt was middle-aged and a bit on the pudgy side, - some things never changed, apparently - with shoulder length light brown hair and a plain face that was lit up by a cheerful smile. While nobody would have confused the two of them, even without the age difference, Lindsay thought there was kind of a family resemblance between herself and her previous incarnation.

“She looks happy.”

“She was. Well, you were. By that time, at least. You had come a long way.”

“Why did she - I - …” She broke off with a sigh. “It feels so weird to think of someone I don't even know as being me.”

“Why did you decide to reincarnate, you wonder?” Angel looked very somber all of a sudden. “It was a very difficult decision for you. You were happier than you had ever been before. But you had also promised your mom - except she wasn't your mom in her previous incarnation - that you were going to reincarnate as her daughter. And you wanted to earn your own paradise, too.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. I love you. That is, I loved Ruggy”, Angel quickly corrected herself. “I'm only just getting to know the new you.”

She shook her head. “You´re right, this is weird… but for me it's thinking of you as two different people.”

“At least you´re kind of used to… all this… already. A day ago, I didn't even know demons existed - or the afterlife!”

Lindsay looked around to see if anyone was nearby, then stopped in her tracks.

“Angel… I don't know what to do. I'm not your Ruggy any more. I know you loved her, and she loved you. But I don't. At least not now. I'm not even used to someone looking at me and being attracted to me. I'm the ugly duckling, you know?”

“No, you´re not”, Angel said firmly. “You've just been surrounded by superficial idiots all the time. Adolescents, I tell you… tits and ass, that's all they can think of. Wouldn't recognize a beautiful soul like you if it kicked them in the nuts - which I am sorely tempted to do, now that I see how they sapped your self-esteem.”

Lindsay was used to similarly encouraging words, though perhaps not as graphical in nature, from her mother and Aunt Casey - but she had always chalked that up to them being, well, her mother and Aunt Casey , and trying to make her feel better about herself. But Angel saying the same thing…

“You really mean it?”

“Yes, I do. Look, I'm a succubus… Being hot and desirable is our thing. I could have any demon of the afterlife, and most of the other creatures there as well, worshiping at my feet if I really wanted to. And I chose you. You are lovable, and desirable, and you deserve to be with someone who appreciates you for who you are.”

Lindsay felt her cheeks glow.

“Okay… thank you. But still… I…”

“I know. This has to be a bit much for you, coming all at once.”

Lindsay couldn't help but laugh - what an understatement!

“Take as long as you need to process all this”, Angel said. “There is plenty of time.”

“But… what if I meet someone else, and…”

“... And you fall in love with them?” Angel smiled at her. “I will not be upset with you, or them, if that's what you mean.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Lindsay… I want you to be happy. And if you find your happiness in this life with someone else, I am fine with that. More than fine.”

Angel took Lindsay´s hands into her own.

“If you ever meet someone who you are attracted to, and who respects you and treats you right, and who you can imagine spending the rest of your life with… don't turn them away because you are afraid I might be upset or jealous, or because you think you would betray what you and I had in the afterlife.”

Lindsay nodded.

“And also, don't settle for anything less than that. Never believe that anything less than that is all you deserve, or all you can get. Or that you have to settle down with somebody in order to be happy or live life to the fullest.”

“That's what Aunt Casey says. I don't think she ever had a boyfriend… or a girlfriend. She says she has her work and her hobby and her friends… and of course me and my siblings to be an aunt for.”

“And is she happy?”

“Yeah. Sure, not all the time, but… as much as anyone else.” Lindsay shrugged. “I guess if I end up as happy as she is, I'm not going to complain.”

“Good.” 

Her expression became very serious again.

“You are your own person. You do not owe me anything. But… not just for my sake, or for the sake of what the two of us had in the afterlife, but for the sake of all the hard work you did to become who you are now… I ask you to promise me one thing. Promise me that you´ll do your best to be a decent person. Not a saint, nothing extraordinary - just decent enough that, this time around, you will earn your Paradise.”

“I promise.”

“Good. And I promise that, when it's all over and you arrive in the afterlife, I will be there for you. Doesn't matter how long or short your life was, happy or unhappy, if you earn your Paradise or not. I will be there, and we will work things out together, just like we did the first time.”

Lindsay had begun choking up during Angel´s emotional pleas. She still couldn't begin to fathom what the succubus had gone through with her own earlier incarnation (who Lindsay was starting to think of as Ruggy, to keep her separate from herself), and then later without her. After what Dante had told her and Aunt Casey about the succubus, there had been that little nagging voice of worry in her head that Angel wanted to… reclaim the reincarnation of her old girlfriend. That voice had been so wrong.

She was pretty sure she didn't really understand love yet - at least not romantic love. But this… being willing to spend an entire lifetime apart from the person you loved, because that was the way for them to be happy on their own terms… that had to be a special kind of love. And if someone like Angel felt that way for her, then she, or rather Ruggy, must have been worthy of that.

“Thank you”, she managed to say. “This means a lot to me. I´ve never had anyone who wasn't family care that much about me.”

“You deserve it.”

Angel sighed. “I won't lie to you, and claim this is going to be easy for me. Hell just hasn't been the same for me without you. But you are worth every little bit of this.”

Chapter Text

Angel

“I hope you realize that you screwed that one up.”

Sharkie was outwardly their usual cheerfully chaotic self when they said that - which did not make their words hit any less hard.

“I know”, Angel said, her voice flat.

“Ruggy knows a lot of things now that people in the mortal world aren't supposed to know - things that even Casey couldn't have told her about, even if she and the other Tiny Powerful Women didn't have the good sense to keep quiet about that whole demon-summoning thing they had going as kids.”

“I know.”

“She even knows about her previous life now, and what the two of you had in the afterlife.”

Angel sighed. “I know.”

“Now, I'm usually all for introducing a little chaos into people´s lives. More than a little, if I feel they deserve it. I have been know to cause that chaos myself on occasion.”

Without warning, Sharkie´s voice lost all cheer. “But this is Ruggy we're talking about. She was pretty much my adopted sister for most of her time here in the afterlife. I am not happy about this. And if I didn´t know that you love Ruggy at least as much as I do, you would be having this conversation with my chainsaw instead.”

It took a lot for a mortal soul to appear intimidating to a succubus, especially a mortal soul who was a foot and a half shorter than said succubus and wearing a shark onesie, but Sharkie managed it with barely any effort. Somehow, their propensity for physical violence wasn't nearly as amusing when it wasn't directed at some unfortunate but deserving soul on the other side of the Hellp Desk.

Angel sat down and buried her face in her hands. “I'm sorry.”

“I know.”

Sharkie´s voice, remarkably calm and gentle this time, came from right beside Angel, and a moment later, she felt Sharkie´s arm around her waist.

“I know you didn't mean to do this. But… let me summon my inner Judy for a moment, to dispense the Wisdom of Old Age and remind you that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.”

Sharkie hesitated for a moment. “Not literally, of course. We don't even have a road to Hell. Though maybe we should redecorate the stairs down to the lobby, just to drive that point home.”

Almost despite herself, Angel laughed.

“My point is”, Sharkie continued, “that just because you didn't mean to do something, doesn't mean it won't happen anyway. What were you even trying to do over there? I thought Ruggy made you guys promise not to interfere with her mortal life?”

“Not quite. She made us - me and the other demons - promise that we would not come to the mortal world to help her deal with the consequences of her own actions. She wanted to achieve her Paradise on her own merits.”

“And the difference is…?”

“You've been watching her on MortalTube, too, haven't you? You saw how badly she got bullied in school, just for being who she is. Her self-esteem was completely in the toilet!”

“I saw that. And I will still remember it when those people arrive here.”

“So I figured I'd drop by during Lindsay´s visit to her aunt - who was also looking for a way to boost Lindsay´s self-esteem, by the way - and befriend her. She doesn't have a lot of people who tell her that she's fine the way she is, and that she's worth loving. I thought that hearing that kind of thing from someone who isn't family, and who thus isn't biased as far as she knows, would help her get out of that slump she was in. It's not her own fault she got bullied, so I wouldn't have broken my promise.”

“That sounds like a pretty solid plan”, Sharkie admitted after some hesitation. “And you would probably have pulled it off, if not for that little slip-up.”

“I… I was so happy to finally be with her, even for just a little while, that I got careless.”

“Yeah, you did. And now that it all has gone down, where are you at with her?”

“We're friends. Long-distance friends, mostly. We agreed that I was going to visit her for important milestones - college graduation, getting married, you name it. I didn't tell her about what I promised Ruggy, but… she actually said she didn't want me to help her there… she said she wanted to earn her Paradise fair and square.”

Pride swelled up inside Angel and warmed her heart. “Just like Ruggy did.”

“And she's going to pull it off”, Sharkie said, sounding just as proud.

“I also had a long talk with Casey afterwards - to explain everything and apologize for all the trouble I caused. And I set up a way for her to contact me if there´s an emergency, something less involved than a summoning ritual.”

“Oh? How´d you do that?”

“You know how succubi travel to the mortal world all the time? I gave Casey a phone number that´ll forward her texts to whoever among us is in the mortal world at the time, and they can pass it on to me.”

“Clever.”

They both fell silent.

“I'm actually kind of jealous”, Sharkie said after a while. “Back when Ruggy was in high school, I would have given my favorite shark onesie to be able to go to the mortal world in person and beat the shit out of her bullies. Or at least to give Ruggy a hug afterwards.”

“I bet.”

Sharkie laughed mirthlessly. “I'd probably have screwed it up even worse than you did. Subtlety is not really my forte.”

Angel shook her head. “No, it really isn't. And, to be completely honest, I'd probably have reacted much like you did afterwards.”

“Yeah. Fair.” Sharkie shrugged. “So I guess you´re my best shot at keeping Ruggy safe and happy. Just… don't screw it up, okay?”

“I'll be careful from now on.”

“Pinky promise?”

Angel held out her hand, little finger outstretched. “Pinky promise.”

Chapter Text

Lindsay

Lindsay had barely stepped into the florist shop when her employer realized that something was up.

“What's wrong?” Mister Prentice asked.

Lindsay sighed. Since she had started working for him during her freshman year, the shop had come to feel like a second home to her, and Mister Prentice more like a relative than her employer. With anyone else, other than family, she would have brushed the question off and kept her problems to herself; to do the same with Mister Prentice just didn't feel right.

“Rejections”, she replied, her voice glum. “Got two more of them in the mail today.”

“Damn.” He took a moment, perhaps to process the frustration and disappointment that had been in her voice. “I would give you the usual talk about how they're not rejecting you as a person, they're rejecting your paperwork, et cetera et cetera.”

He shook his head. “But you know all that already, and none of that means it doesn't still hurt.”

Lindsay snorted. “Yeah. It hurts. And I´m so tired of it all.”

“Would you like a hot chocolate?” Mister Prentice offered. “It won't help with your problems, but it'll make you feel a little better.”

“It's my grades”, Lindsay said, after recounting her failed job applications over the past several months. “That, and the internships I didn't go on that others did.”

Internships that would have required her to work full time, or more than that, essentially for free. Which she could not afford to do if she wanted to keep paying rent and buying groceries, or paying her tuition.

“I'm going to get my degree, that's not the problem, but all the companies I've been applying to have lots of other people to choose from, who got better grades, and did internships and had the opportunity to network in the industry.”

She took a sip from her hot chocolate. “It just all feels so pointless right now.”

Mister Prentice looked at her silently for a while.

“You know”, he said finally, “I don't think I've ever really told you how much it means to me to have you here. How much you have helped me over the years, not just with the work you did, but also just your presence. Your passion for floristry.”

Lindsay smiled. “I noticed.”

“And ever since you told me you´d be graduating this summer, I have been wondering how I was going to cope with losing you. I'm not getting any younger, and while I'm in pretty good shape now, I have no idea how long I'll be able to continue running the store on my own - even if another student takes your place here, they'll never be able to replace you.”

Lindsay felt her cheeks glow. She had known he thought well of her as an employee, but not that well.

“So, while I would have been happy for you to find your dream job after your graduation, and to have the kind of career a bright young lady such as yourself deserves… if that's not going to happen, as you say, I have an alternative offer for you.”

Lindsay´s eyebrow rose, almost on its own accord.

“I would like you to continue working at the shop, in full time, after you graduate. I will introduce you to the business side of things, in addition to what you have already been doing - which also means you didn't get that degree for nothing, so you can shut that little voice in your head up right away. And by the time I am ready to retire, if I still think as highly of you as I do now, which I know I will, I will let you take over the shop if you want.”

“You… are going to…” She gaped at Mister Prentice.

“Yes I am, if you'll let me. Actually, there was a time or two where I was seriously considering trying to set you up with my son in order to keep you here.”

He looked at her for a moment, as if to gauge her reaction, then added: “I would have considered setting you up with my daughter, if only I had one.”

He laid his hand on hers. “But since I don't have a daughter, the offer I've made stands. Take as long as you need to think about it.”

“... That night, lying in bed and trying to process everything, I remembered what you and Aunt Casey have told me - about how I deserve good things coming my way”, Lindsay recounted. “I called Mister Prentice the next morning and accepted his offer.”

Angel beamed at her. “Congratulations!”

They were sitting at a picnic table in the park, far enough from other people to be able to speak freely, eating the small cake Angel had brought. Angel had been visiting her about once a year or so, to talk about how Lindsay´s life was going and to offer words of encouragement, and now she had shown up the day before Lindsay´s parents and younger siblings, as well as Aunt Casey, were due to arrive to attend her college graduation ceremony; she said she wanted to celebrate this milestone with Lindsay in private, and without anyone being around to ask awkward questions about who Angel was and how the obvious bond between the two of them had come to be.

“I am so proud of you, Lindsay”, Angel continued.

“I… I dunno.” 

The nagging doubts that had been her constant companions since middle school tried to reassert themselves once more. “This isn't exactly what I went to college for. I sunk all this time and money into a degree, only to work in a florist shop. I just feel that… I don't know… that I should have been doing so much better.”

“... Only to impress your boss so much that you´re going to own the florist shop eventually”, Angel corrected her.

“One of my best friends in the afterlife - who was also one of your best friends when you were in the afterlife - got a degree in Communications, only to spend the rest of her mortal life working poorly paid, soul-crushing customer service jobs. Compared to her, your career is skyrocketing like a frog on a hot plate.”

Lindsay chuckled at the ridiculous simile.

“That's not my opinion, by the way, that's her opinion - and she asked me to tell you that she is also very proud of you right now. As are all of your friends in the afterlife. So that's a majority opinion - the voice in the back of your head that's telling you otherwise is officially outvoted.”

Angel smiled at her. “You are following your dream, and you are successful at it. You have every reason to be proud of yourself.”

Lindsay didn't know what to say, so she ate another forkful of cake instead.

“Oh, before I forget -”

Angel pulled a small paper bag out of a pocket and set it on the table between them. It looked old, and was labeled in badly faded handwriting.

“This is for you. A graduation present from those of your friends who cannot be here in person to celebrate with you.”

Lindsay frowned, trying and failing to decipher the label.

“Don't bother”, Angel said. “It's not meant to be legible.”

Lindsay looked up to see a crooked smile on Angel´s face.

“They don't exist in the mortal world yet, other than the seeds in that bag. We had the bag made so that it looks like it's been lying in the back of a drawer somewhere for who knows how long, to discourage people from trying to figure out exactly where the seeds came from.”

Lindsay gaped at her. “What is this?”

“Flowers”, Angel replied. “ Your flowers. Persephone made them when she heard we were looking for a graduation present for you.”

“Persephone? The Persephone?”

Angel smiled. “Yes. The Persephone. And, no, I am not kidding. While I wouldn't go so far as to say you two were friends in the afterlife, she did - and still does - appreciate your passion for floristry.”

Lindsay opened her mouth, then closed it again without saying anything. What could she possibly say? All that… a goddess getting involved… just for her?

“I know what you are thinking, Lindsay. You´re wondering why anyone would make such an effort for you.”

Angel´s smile grew wider, and warmer.

“The answer is: Because you are worth it. There are a lot people whose lives, or afterlives, you touched while you were in Hell. People you worked with. People you helped get settled into their afterlives. Your friends. Your family, in all the ways that matter. And all of us are rooting for you. We want you to live a long and happy life, and to be successful in whatever way you count success. And we are all very proud of you.”

Chapter Text

Lindsay

It was late afternoon, just before closing time, on a quiet spring day when one of those things happened where you only realize in hindsight how lucky you were for this particular coincidence to have happened to you.

LIndsay was sitting behind the counter, going over a list of orders to place with various suppliers, when a woman perhaps a few years older than her entered the shop, carrying a sleepy toddler in her arms. She was tall, with an athletic build and short dark hair; exhaustion, both physical and emotional, had left its mark on her otherwise beautiful face.

“Good afternoon”, Lindsay greeted her. “What can I do for you?”

“Is Alvin here?” the woman asked.

It took Lindsay a moment to make the connection; she had never called her employer by his first name. “Mister Prentice? Sure, he's in the back. Do you have an appointment?”

“No. But I think he´ll want to see us anyway.” She made a gesture with her head towards the toddler in her arms. “Little sleepyhead here is his grandson.”

Lindsay hadn't met any of her employer´s family yet; his wife was long dead, his son lived out of state, and… yes, he had mentioned the son´s girlfriend and a grandson a few times, mostly in the context of not seeing the latter as often as he liked.

Which just made it all the more odd that they would show up just like that. If Mister Prentice had expected them, he would surely have told Lindsay. And why wasn't his son here as well?

Just then, Mister Prentice came in from the back room. He stopped in the doorway, looking at the newcomers in surprise.

“Kelly? Nathan? What are you doing here?”

As soon as the toddler noticed him, all traces of sleepiness vanished. “Grandpa”, he squealed, and reached towards his grandfather.

“It's a long story”, Kelly said, her voice heavy with emotion. “I'll tell you once Nate is done saying hello.”

She handed the toddler over to Mister Prentice, and waited a moment for the two of them to be completely absorbed in each other´s presence.

“Tell me”, Kelly said in a low voice, “how do I say fuck off and die in the language of flowers?”

That wasn't the weirdest request she had gotten in her time working in the florist shop, so Lindsay replied without hesitation. “Basil for hatred, black dahlia for betrayal, and stinging nettle for cruelty - does that just about cover it?”

“Perfect.” A tired smile appeared on her face. “You must be Lindsay. Alvin mentioned you a few times; I can see why he is so impressed with you.”

Lindsay left soon after, in order to let the three of them have some privacy for their family reunion. When she returned the next morning to open the shop, Kelly was already waiting for her.

“I'm sorry we sidelined you like that yesterday”; she said. “So I figured I'd explain to you what's going on.”

“You don't have to do that. I get a feeling this involves family, and -”

“Oh, come on… Alvin pretty much considers you family already. I can hear it when he talks about you. And if you´re family to him, you´re family to me and Nate as well.”

“Thank you”, Lindsay said after a moment of silence. “You still don't have to talk about it, unless you really want to.”

Kelly took a deep breath. “All right, if you have the emotional room for it…”

“I think so. Let´s go to the back, I'll make us hot chocolate.”

“So, in case you hadn't guessed it yet, Alvin´s son is Nate´s father”, Kelly recounted. “And also my ex -boyfriend, as of the day before yesterday.”

“What happened?”

“I thought I'd found the perfect man. Smart, funny, kind, really hot, successful career, made more than enough that I could afford to stay home with Nate instead of working.”

Anger and bitterness took over her voice. “And then I found out he'd been cheating on me for a long time. I packed our stuff, and first thing yesterday morning, I put Nate in the car and drove straight here.”

“Why not your family?” Lindsay asked, then added: “If you don't mind me asking, that is…”

“I don't really have family… not the sort I'd go to in a situation like this, anyway. Whereas Alvin… every time we visited him, he made me feel welcome. He made me feel like family.”

Lindsay nodded. “I know what you mean. He's been just the same towards me.”

Kelly drank some more hot chocolate. “You wouldn't happen to know a good day care around here? I'm planning to sign Nate up so I can get a part-time job.”

“No, unfortunately not. Why, though? Is Mister Prentice asking you…?”

Kelly shook her head. “Of course not. And he'd probably refuse if I offered to contribute. It's just that… I don't want to have to depend on a man again, ever . Not even a man like Alvin.”

Lindsay shrugged. “Can't argue with that.”

“Plus, at a day care, Nate will be around other kids; that´ll be good for him.”

Kelly sighed, and looked past Lindsay at nothing in particular for a while.

“It fucking hurts ”, she finally, the pain plainly evident in her voice.

“The cheating?”

Kelly nodded without another word.

Without knowing why, since she had never experienced it herself, Lindsay understood how Kelly felt - knew the other woman´s pain, felt the betrayal, the bottomless hole gaping in front of her where a future had once been.

Could this be another thing she subconsciously remembered from her previous life, or the afterlife? Lindsay made a mental note to ask Angel about that, the next time they met.

Lindsay laid her hand on Kelly´s.

“I'll be there whenever you want to talk about it. Or whenever you don't want to talk about it.”

Kelly gave her a sad smile. “Thank you.”

Lindsay returned the smile. “I promise, things will get better from here on out.”

About a year later…

“So… do you have any plans for tomorrow night?”

Kelly´s question came completely out of the blue.

“What? I… umm…”

Seeing the surprise and confusion on Lindsay´s face, Kelly quickly continued: “Nate is going to do a Paw Patrol marathon with his grandpa tomorrow evening, so I'm free, and… well… you've been such great support for me ever since I came here, so I thought I could do something for you. We could have a girls´ night together - maybe go out for drinks or something?”

Lindsay didn't really drink, except maybe a glass of wine on special occasions, or go out to bars. She was about to politely decline, but something about the way Kelly was looking at her made her decide to give it a go.

“Sure.”

The night was pleasantly cool, and remarkably quiet for a busy college town, as Lindsay and Kelly walked home from the bar they had spent the last couple of hours. They were walking arm in arm, mostly out of a sense of newfound comradeship - neither of them was drunk enough to need that kind of support.

“... and Nate says he really likes you, too”, Kelly told her. “Not like he loves me, of course, but almost as much as his grandpa.”

“Almost, huh?” She had babysat the boy a couple of times over the last year, and they had gotten along well, but this was news to her.

“Yes, almost .” Kelly let out a drunken giggle. “His grandpa spoils him. You are more reasonable.”

“Ah. That explains it.”

“It does. Thank you for that, by the way. There´s nothing wrong with spoiling him a little, every now and then, but I'm glad that I have someone who sticks to the rules, too.”

“Thank you.”

“No. Thank you ”, Kelly replied, in a very serious tone. “For all the support over the last year. I really appreciate it.”

They walked in silence for a while, until Kelly stopped so suddenly that Lindsay, still arm in arm with her, almost stumbled. Kelly looked at Lindsay, the possibly alcohol-boosted self-confidence she had displayed all evening nowhere in evidence.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“... Sure. What is it?”

“The way you've been looking at me, ever since we met, whenever you thought I wouldn't notice it - does that mean what I think it means?”

Lindsay felt her cheeks - no, her entire face - glow. She would have thought she had been a lot more subtle in admiring Kelly, but apparently… not so much.

Kelly smiled. “That looks like a ´yes´ to me.”

“Yeah.” Lindsay tried not to look at Kelly.

“You could have said something, you know? I don't bite.” She chuckled. “I didn't even bite my ex. More´s the pity.”

“I didn't want to…”, Lindsay began, “I had no idea you were - I mean, you had a boyfriend!”

Kelly considered that for a moment, then nodded. “Fair.”

“And, uh… you´d just been through a lot. I figured you probably weren't in the mood for anything after that.”

An expression of surprise briefly appeared on Kelly´s face, then her smile grew wider and warmer. 

“Thank you. You were right, I don't think I would have appreciated it, back then, if you had made a move.” 

She took a deep breath. “But now, firstly, I am in fact pansexual, and incredibly attracted to thoughtful, passionate, reasonable, emotionally intelligent young women who also get along well with my son. And secondly, it's been long enough. My ex can rot, I'm not letting those memories ruin my life.”

The little voice in the back of Lindsay´s head that should have been urging her to doubt Kelly´s praise was blessedly silent; maybe it handled the alcohol they´d had more poorly than Lindsay herself did.

“So… what now?” she asked into the silence.

“Right now? Nothing.” Kelly shook her head. “I got us both drunk so I'd have the courage to ask that question, not so we´d do something that´ll look like a bad idea once we're sober again.”

It was probably the alcohol doing it, but that sounded funny to Lindsay for some reason; she could not keep herself from starting to giggle.

“Good point”, she got out.

“We´ll go home, and sleep it off”, Kelly continued. “Separately. Then we talk about ´what now´.”

Meanwhile in Sharkie´s Paradise

“And how do you feel about this?”

The curiosity was plainly visible in Sharkie´s face. Relationships and romance were something they only knew from observation, and they readily admitted - to their friends and family, at least - that there was a lot about the whole topic they did not understand.

“I don't know”, Angel replied; she had no doubt that at least some of the mental turmoil she was feeling had made its way into her voice, enough for Sharkie to notice. “I want Lindsay to be happy and loved, and I think she will be, if she is with Kelly.”

She sighed. “On the other hand…”

“On the other hand”, Sharkie picked up the thought, “she's with someone else , not you. That's got to be a tough pill to swallow.”

Angel nodded, grateful that Sharkie understood how she felt.

“There´s something else, too: Ruggy gets to be a mom now”, Sharkie added. “Well, stepmom, technically, but that won't matter for long. Stepmother, adoptive mother, birth mother… a good mom is a good mom. And I know she's going to be a great mom.”

“I hadn't thought of that”, Angel admitted. She had been too focussed on herself, admittedly.

“Ruggy used to say she was glad, in hindsight, that she didn't have any kids with Mike”, Sharkie said. “But I always felt like she would have liked to have kids, if her circumstances in life had been better. So I'm glad she gets the chance now.”

“I think you´re right”, Angel agreed.

She and Ruggy had never talked about children. Even with all the wonders of the afterlife, and leaving aside that Ruggy was a mortal soul, two women couldn't have children together. Demons didn't get pregnant by accident or lived in circumstances too destitute to raise children, which eliminated the two main reasons people gave their children up for adoption in the mortal world, and the few demon children who were orphaned usually had extended family willing to take them in, so adoption wasn't really an option, either. So, even if they hadn't known that their time together was limited until Ruggy reincarnated, there wouldn't have been a reason to bring the topic up.  

“And being a mother is something she won't ever experience with me. So, yeah, I'm happy for her that it's happening now. Just…”

“Sad?” Sharkie suggested. “Because you can't be part of it?”

Angel sighed. “Yes.”

A grin appeared on Sharkie´s face. “Look at it this way: Ruggy was pretty much my sister when she was here, and she will be again when she returns. And once you two get back together, that´ll make you my sister-in-law. And I'm pretty sure Mom and Dad will start trying for a baby again once Ruggy is back - at which point you will be that kid´s Cool Older Sister.”

Sharkie shrugged. “Not the same as having your own kids, I suppose, but…”

Angel managed a smile. “But it is going to be wonderful anyway, once it´s happening. And I can't wait.”

Chapter Text

Lindsay

It was a quiet summer afternoon, just after the college graduation and its attendant rush of buying celebratory flower bouquets. Lindsay was working alone in the shop, mostly catching up on bookkeeping, when she noticed two young girls standing outside the shop´s front door.

The older of the girls looked to be about eleven or twelve years old, with relatively short strawberry blonde hair, wearing shorts and a t-shirt; the younger girl, maybe six years old, had her auburn hair woven into a pair of pigtails, and wore a dress with flowers all over it. They looked alike enough to be sisters; at first, Lindsay thought they were arguing, but then it looked more like the younger girl was nervous or afraid, and the older was trying to reassure her.

After a moment, the older girl opened the shop´s door and came in, the younger one following her somewhat reluctantly, holding her sister´s hand.

“But what if she isn't nice?” Lindsay thought she heard the younger girl say.

“Then we´ll leave”, the older girl replied. “But we're never gonna find out if we don't ask.”

“Good afternoon”, Lindsay greeted the girls. “Can I help you with anything?”

The younger girl shied away, and Lindsay thought she might have left if her sister hadn't been holding her hand.

“My name is Violet”, the older girl said, a hint of nervousness in her voice, “and my sister´s is Heather.”

Violet took a deep breath. “Those are flower names, and… we wanted to ask you about those flowers. I mean, if it's okay… and you have the time…”

Lindsay gave them both her warmest smile.

“Of course it's okay to ask.” She stepped out from behind the counter, and pointed to the flowers on one of the display shelves. “Those over there are violets. I don't have heathers in the shop right now, but I can still tell you about them.”

Maybe fifteen minutes passed with the girls listening attentively to Lindsay´s explanations, occasionally asking questions about something Lindsay said. Throughout that time, Heather in particular markedly warmed up to Lindsay, losing the fear she had shown initially; Lindsay caught herself comparing Heather´s curiosity about flowers to that she herself had shown at Heather´s age.

Just then, a woman around Lindsay´s age entered the shop, carrying several bags full of groceries.

“Mom!” Heather greeted her cheerfully.

The woman turned to Lindsay with a worried, almost fearful expression. “I hope my girls haven't been bothering you too much.”

“Your girls are a joy to talk to”, Lindsay assured her. “Talking about flowers to someone who is really willing to listen will never be a bother for me.”

The woman´s expression relaxed. “Thank you.”

“She's been telling us about violets, and heathers”, Heather told her mother, her voice overflowing with excitement. “And other flowers, too!”

Her mother´s face took in a bemused expression. “Oh?”

“She did”, Violet confirmed, visibly happy but in a much more laid-back manner.

Heather looked up at Lindsay. “You haven't told us about those flowers there yet, though.”

She pointed at one of the shelves that formed the centerpiece of the shop. There, claiming pride of place of the entire shop, were rows of lilies distinguished by the vibrant maroon shade of their petals.

“They're really pretty”, Heather added.

“Yes, they are”, Lindsay confirmed. “You see… those are my flowers, named after me.”

Heather stepped closer to the shelf to take a look at the labels.

“ Lilium ruggiflora ”, she read out, stumbling a bit over the Latin pronunciation. She gave Lindsay a confused look. “Your name is Flora?”

Lindsay shook her head.

“No, my name is Lindsay, actually. Ruggiflora mean´s Ruggy´s flower , essentially. ´Ruggy´ is my nickname from when I was a little kid - I liked to chew on the rug in my parents´ living room.”

The girls´ mother chuckled. Had her daughters been up to similarly adorable foolishness at that age?

“Ruggy is a pretty name”, Heather said. “Can I call you Miss Ruggy?”

Lindsay felt a familiar tugging at her mind, as she had every now and then over the years. When she had described the circumstances under which that happened to Angel, the succubus told her she assumed that this was caused by memories from before her reincarnation that she now could not recall any more. Had someone in the afterlife called her ´Miss Ruggy´ too?

“Of course you can.” She looked at the others. “All of you can, if you want.”

“Thank you, Miss Ruggy”, Heather said with an impish grin.

The mother looked back and forth between her daughters. “Could you girls go on ahead? Violet, you have your keys, right?”

“Sure thing.” Violet took some of the bags from her mother and distributed them between herself and Heather, then the girls left with cheerful goodbyes to Lindsay.

“Thank you”, the mother said in a quiet voice.

“For what? Like I said, your girls are a joy to talk to.”

“I'm glad you like them. And I'm glad they found someone like you, a place like this.”

She sighed. “I haven't even introduced myself. My name is Sandra.”

Lindsay smiled at her. “Pleased to meet you, too, Sandra.”

“We only just moved here, a bit over a week ago”, Sandra said. “It's been hard for the girls, starting over without any friends or family around here.”

Lindsay knew better than to ask about the why of that move; if Sandra wanted to tell her, she would.

“School won't start for another four weeks, so there´s been no way so far for them to meet other children.”

“My girlfriend´s son is about Heather´s age. We could try to set up a playdate for them”, Lindsay offered - keeping a keen eye out for how Sandra react to the little revelation that this offer entailed.

Sandra seemed caught in a mental struggle for a bit. 

“That would be wonderful”, she finally replied. She took a deep breath to steady herself, then she continued.

“My church would no doubt expect me to condemn you and your ´sinful ways´. But then, they also expected me to submit to my husband and accept his ´chastisement´ for my ´transgressions´. So I guess I might as well no longer give a shit about anything they expect of me.”

Once more, Lindsay felt that by now familiar sense of knowing what something was like without ever having experienced it herself - in this life, anyway. She knew no specifics about what her first mortal life had been like, but based on the things she had “remembered” so far, she did not look forward to remembering it for real once she was back in the afterlife. Her time with Angel, on the other hand… - but, not, she needed to focus on the present.

“Oh dear”, she said, keeping her voice sympathetic. “That's going to be a lot to unlearn.”

“I know.” Sandra sighed. “I know. I just hope the girls haven't internalized too much of it already.”

“I'll be there for you”, Lindsay assured her with a smile. “I'm glad you got yourself and your girls out of that kind of environment, and I will be happy to support all of you in recovering from that.”

About two months later

By the time Nathan had started school the previous year, Lindsay found that the boy was considering her pretty much his second mother. There wasn't very much any more that he didn't come to Lindsay for as readily as to Kelly. For that reason, and because the end of the elementary school day aligned more readily with the opening times of her florist shop than with Kelly´s job schedule, it was far more often than not Lindsay, rather than Kelly, who picked Nathan up from school.

When Lindsay approached the front of the school building, she saw Nathan already standing there, right next to Heather, who as it had turned out was in his class this year. Nathan had an arm around Heather´s shoulders, and appeared to be talking to her; as Lindsay got closer, she saw that Heather´s eyes looked red, probably from crying.

“Hey kids!” she greeted them when she was close enough.

Nathan gave her cheerful wave, while Heather´s eyes lit up. “Hello, Miss Ruggy!”

“... Is everything all right, Heather? You kind of look like something happened. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, though.”

“Some of the kids have been teasing her because she likes flowers so much”, Nathan volunteered. “I've been telling her that this doesn't mean there´s anything wrong with her - just like you and Mom told me last year.”

Lindsay winced. Those words conjured up ugly memories, and not ones from her past life, either.

“Oh no”, she said to Heather. “That's awful. Nathan is right, though - just because someone doesn't like what you like, doesn't mean that there´s anything wrong with you, or with what you like.”

Heather didn't seem entirely convinced. “How do you know that?”

Lindsay crouched to bring herself at eye level with Heather. 

“Because for most of my childhood, I, too, was bullied by other kids for really liking flowers.” She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat now that the memories of that time resurfaced. “And also because I was fat.”

Heather looked at her with a focussed, thoughtful expression.

“My Mom says you have a really big heart”, she offered. “Maybe the rest of you has to be big, too, so your heart will fit inside properly?”

Lindsay felt her heart melt, and she gave Heather her most heartfelt smile.

“Thank you. When I was your age, I would have been so happy to have someone like you as my friend.” She looked over to Nathan. “Or someone like you.”

Then she grinned at the children. “Actually, I'm really happy to have the two of you as my friends now, too.”