Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Eleven months and twelve days.. That’s how long it’s been since your world ended. The Painful countdown of a life forever changed. Every day blurring into the next, each one darker and heavier than the last. Grief, like a relentless undertow, threatens to pull you deeper into its abyss with every passing moment. The guilt is a constant, malevolent companion, whispering its tormenting questions: What if? What if you had made different choices? Could things have ended differently? Maybe, just maybe, your beloved fiance and teammates would still be here.

Nope, don’t go there.. You say to yourself.

 You knew that blame was a heavy burden you could no longer bear. Every night, as sleep claimed you, the horrors of that ill-fated mission replayed in your mind. The flames, the screams - they refused to release their grip on you, haunting the stillness of the night.

As you woke up, drenched in sweat, you could feel the weight of the past pressing down on your chest, threatening to suffocate you. This was your new reality, a world where every dream was a nightmare and every memory was a sharp-edged knife.

Colorado had become your refuge. A place where the echoes of your dreams together still lingered. You had cherished those lazy conversations in bed, talking about getting a cabin in the middle of nowhere and leaving your fast-paced, dangerous life to start a family together in peace. That hope had helped guide you through countless deployments and missions together with your team.

Now you're here, alone. Immersed in a fantasy world where the past and present converged. In this sanctuary of memories and dreams, it was as if time stood still, and you could pretend, if only for a moment, that he was still out there, on a mission, and would be coming home soon. It was your way of preserving your love, keeping his spirit alive in every rustling leaf and every breathtaking mountain scene, as you clung to the hope that somehow, in some way, he was still with you.

You had built a life here, in some ways. Never getting close to anyone in the nearby town you frequented on shopping trips. Always maintaining a polite distance, shying away from the lingering looks of everyone you came across. After losing your team, you had retired from the Marines, hoping to just fade from everyone's memories. Never wanting to be remembered as the woman who had made a mistake and lost everything. So when a knock sounded from your front door, your heart began racing.

Who the fuck could that be?? You thought, no one even knows you’re here.

Startled, you rise from your chair, pulling your favorite sweater tight around you out of habit, hiding what scars you have from being half burnt alive. A constant reminder of your past.

Cautiously you move toward the window, your heart pounding in your chest. In all your time here, you'd never had a visitor. Peering through the window, your eyes widen as you catch sight of the man on the doorstep. He had on faded military fatigues and a bucket hat and puffed on a cigar. The scent rolled through the cracks of your door, leaving a distinct aroma.

For a moment, you hesitate, your mind racing with a mixture of fear and disbelief. John Price - the legendary figure you had only heard about in hushed whispers and tales of military lore was at your house. He was the commander of the Task Force 141, a name that was shrouded in myth, much like you own team, lost to a mission gone horribly wrong.

The memories of your fallen comrades and the pain of you loss surged back, but there was something about this unexpected visitor that had piqued your curiosity. You take a deep breath and and open the door.

“Can I help you?” The man takes you in with a long gaze and a pull from his cigar. “Hello ma’am, I’m looking for a Mister (reader)” his tone gruff yet oddly inviting.

“No Mister here, sorry. I’m Miss (reader) though” You took a step forward, instinctively correcting him.

As the words hung in the air, the weight of the moment seemed to intensify. Price, the stuff of legends, was here in the flesh and you couldn’t help but wonder why.

A flicker of surprise crosses his face and then an acknowledgement of the information gap. You had always intentionally kept a low profile, maintaining a gender-neutral identity to avoid unwanted attention and inquiries.

He clears his throat, "Ahh no wonder you were so hard to track down." He chuckles, puffing out a ring of smoke. "I'm Captain John Price."

“Nice to meet you, Captain Price," you reply, your voice steady but tinged with a mixture of respect and curiosity. The weight of his reputation bore down on you. “Come in, sir”

“Thank you ma’am.” He follows you inside, not bothering to put out his cigar to your slight annoyance.

You look around and mentally kick yourself for the state of the room. His presence in your modest living room, filled with telltale signs of a life lived in solitude made you acutely aware of the mess.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m here so I’ll get right into it.” he began, his gaze sweeping over the room.

You mentally kick yourself and start tidying up the half-empty pizza box and all the way empty bottles of wine on your coffee table. Desperately wanting to present a more professional appearance to the man in front of you.

"It's ok. We've all been there." He looks at you with that same fucking look everyone who knows what you went through gives you. You hate it. You hate being pitied. Or judged. You couldn't tell which was behind his look but settled on pity with an inward sigh. You had chosen solitude because you didn't know how to share your pain with anyone, let alone someone like him.

You finish cleaning up what mess you can and gesture for him to take a seat on your couch while you sit across from him.

"If you're not aware, I'm the leader of the group called Task Force 14-"

"-141 Yes sir. Sorry. I've heard of you I just never thought you existed"

He smiles, ignoring your interruption, "I could say the same about you lass, your team was much the same I've heard. It took a lot of digging to get any details, especially since they wiped your files after what happened. Right, the reason I'm here.. Graves."

Chapter Text

The name hit you like a sledgehammer and you were instantly transported back to that fateful mission. Graves and his Shadow team had been the targets and it was supposed to be a quick in-and-out operation. But you knew all too well how it ended - in a nightmarish blaze of fire and betrayal. You had barely escaped with your own life after being burned alive and left - charred and broken outside of the bunker-like a discarded piece of meat as they vanished into the night. 

Your gaze met Captain Prices, and you could see the gravity of the situation reflected in his eyes. Graves was a name you thought you had buried deep in the ashes of your past. 

"Sir.. I'm not sure - "

"Just hear me out. I understand what you're feeling, but we need your help. He's proving to be quite the evasive arsehole" his British accent thick, "I'm not asking you to charge headfirst into things, we could simply use someone with a past knowledge of how he works."

You stare at the hole in the arm of the couch next to him, a stark reminder of one of your more vivid nightmares when you had woken up, stabbing into the dark at the Shadow operative you thought was there. 

"He took everything from me."

"I know.. losing a team is hard - "

"I lost more than my team.." you murmur as you fiddle with a set of wedding bands you've taken up the habit of wearing around your neck in place of your dog tags. Small symbols of a love that had been taken from you by the chaos of war.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know" 

Of course, he couldn't have, you had taken great care in hiding that secret from anyone outside of your team.

"I'm simply offering you an alternate ending to this, and I think you'd be a valuable asset to our team." 

You knew that accepting this offer would mean confronting your past demons. But it also represented a chance to rewrite your story, something that recently you'd had a growing desire to do. It was a wild proposition and one you didn't take lightly. 

"I need.. I left all that behind sir. I'm sorry" you say, unsure of how to even respond and you stumble over your words. "I- "

Captain Price didn't push any further, sensing the struggle you were going through. He stood up and handed you a card with his information on it. 

"Think it over. Let me know when you have an answer… I do hope to hear from you."

You nodded in acknowledgment, your trembling hand accepting the card and following him to the door. The weight of the past bearing down on you and the door closes and you're once again alone. 

With a heavy sigh, you retreat further into your house and head towards your shower. You step in, not bothering to strip out of the pajamas you just realized you embarrassingly had on the whole time. 

Fuck my life man, of course, some mythical fucking officer shows up and I'm in fucking hello kitty pj's. Awesome. I'm amazed he even gave me his card. I wouldn't have. 

Sitting under the stream of water you try to numb your emotions. You hadn't been prepared for this visit and it left you feeling vulnerable and raw at the reminder that ghosts from your past can never truly be left behind.

Chapter Text

The next morning, you hold your phone in your hand. You nervously enter the number Price had given you and hit the button that would change your life, in more ways than you even realize.

Price answers “Captain”

“It’s Reader, I’m in but I have conditions."

You heard his amused chuckle on the other end, "Go on."

"After this is done, I'm gone. I've worked hard to disappear and would like to come back here. I also would like to keep my rank, I worked too hard to be demoted."

After a few seconds of silence, you hear him answer.

"Roger that, can you make it to Fort Collins by 2200 tonight?" 

"Yes sir." 

"Perfect, see you there I'll text with details."

He hangs up without a goodbye, a testament to his air of superiority. Not unpleasant though, just a habit of a very busy man. 

Welp.. time to pack. This should be fun.

Hours later after shoving what you need into a few duffle bags, you had a habit of packing light, never living in one place for long, that it was easy, you pull up to the base and give your name to one of the guards. 

He directs you inside and you follow Price's directions to the hangar he told you to meet him at. 

Parking your jeep, you step out, grabbing your bags. The sight of a large plane readying to leave sends shivers down your spine. You can do this, you're a bad bitch, so start acting like it. Since when did you lose your steel??

As Price approached with open arms and a welcoming demeanor, you couldn't help but to feel excited. As much pain as you've gone through, being in the military was your lifelong passion. You had worked so hard, taking on every tough mission head-on, working your way to the top in your field. Having it all stripped from you had shattered you as much as losing your team had. 

You follow him, bags in tow and take a seat across from him on the plane, putting on the headphones he handed to you. 

"Right, first off, there's a ton of red tape with this. Since you're legally separated, we have to re-enlist you. Don't worry, it'll require several security clearances to get access to. Essentially you'll still be anonymous. I was able to talk Laswell into letting you keep your rank. You'll be 1st lieutenant (reader)." He pauses and glances up at you.

"Thanks, sir, I do appreciate it." 

"I see that your old call sign was “Kasper”, I’m sure there's a good story behind that. 

Your gaze dropped as your mind flooded with memories. “Took me years to earn that one, sir” You started giggling, “I have a knack for sneaking in and getting what I need done without making a sound.”

“So I’ve heard..” he mused. “You want to keep it?’

“Hell yeah, I liked it.” If I can just get over hearing it again without losing my mind.

“I’m sure Ghost will bloody love that.” Price says with a sarcastic tone you don’t miss.

Once you got all the details sorted out, Price began going over the details of recent events. Locations, missions at hand. Your mind couldn’t help but wander to the memories of your old team. The last time you’d been on a plane like this was with them. The camaraderie, the banter, the shared moments of levity amidst the seriousness of your missions. It was as if a floodgate of nostalgia and longing had been opened, and you found yourself in the past.

Sitting in the plane, surrounded by the hum of the engines and the familiar feel of the aircraft, it was impossible not to reminisce about those moments. Jokes, about forgotten gear, debates about whether you were going to try to drag another stray cat back to base, the unspoken bonds of friendship forged through hardship and shared experiences - they were memories that felt both distant and achingly close. 

Once Price finished bringing you up to date, you both sat in comfortable silence. Price was easy to get along with. He gave off some major dad vibes but all around he seemed like a nice guy. It was a stark contrast to the reputation that definitely preceded him. The tales of a deadly force of nature, enemies would smell cigars - the last scent they would ever know - before meeting their end.

In fact, the rumors you had heard about all of the team were terrifying in their own right. As Price spoke about the other members of your new team, you couldn’t shake the feeling of apprehension and awe. Sergeant Kyle “Gaz” Garrick, an Austrailian-born SAS veteran known for his deadly skills and expertise with weapons. Sergeant Johnny “ Soap” MacTavish, infamous for the wake of destruction he left behind on the battlefield.

And then there was Ghost, a call sign that sent shivers down your spine. He was an enigma, a figure shrouded in mystery, his identity concealed beneath a mask. You’d heard the rumors and the stories about Ghost and couldn’t deny the nervousness that gnawed at you as you contemplated meeting him.

Chapter Text

As the evening sun bathed the surroundings in its warm glow, the plane lands.

“You ready? Price shoots a glance at you.

“Affirmative, born ready sir.” You say with a grin, trying to hide your emotions.

You sling your bags over your shoulder and step out of the plane, squinting into the sunlight. You followed Price, paying close attention to the way he moved with an air of confidence and brushed past everyone you encountered. 

As you walked, you couldn’t help but to comment on the presence of Kortac, a name you’d come to associate with a group of ruthless independent contracts whom had caused your old team issues in the past. The revelation that some of them, along with Marines had teamed up with the task force to handle Graves leave you shaking your head in disbelief. I wouldn’t have believed it if I didnt see it with my own two fucking eyes. What a mess..

Lost in thought, you suddenly noticed a man running up to you both. 

"Well well, what do we have here, Price? Picking up strays on your leave huh? You're not supposed to bring them back with you mate, I thought you were trying to find Kasper" He laughs.

Price laughs, "I did you idiot.”

"OH shit, I'm sorry mate" he turns to you, his dark skin reddening. His eyes roam over the scars on the left side of your face quickly before he locks eyes with you again. It makes you slightly uncomfortable, but it can’t be helped, you'd look too.

God you guys are going to give me a fucking complex.” you quip, laughing to ease the tension. You drop one of your bags and extend your hand. “Lieutenant Reader, nice to meet you.”

“Sargeant Garrick, but you can call me Gaz, love” He replied shaking your hand and then picking up your bag with an eagerness to help that didn’t go unnoticed.

So far so good.

The three of you walk towards a large building, Gaz talking with Price.

“You know Soap is going to have an aneurysm Cap”

“It’s not him I'm worried about.” Price replies cryptically. 

You couldn’t help but inwardly groan.

This should be good. 

That evening, you sit in your new room, larger than what you had been used to before, and slowly start to unpack your belongings. Price had told you to get settled and report to his office around lunch the next day after the rest of the team had gotten back. You hadn’t brought any uniforms, having trashed all your old ones in a rage several weeks after getting out of the hospital last year. You hadn’t wanted to see any reminders of what you had lost. 

However, the tf141 had proven to be considerate, providing you with a few uniforms you found neatly folded on your bed when you got to your room. It was a small gesture but it spoke volumes about at least Price’s understanding of your situation and willingness to make you feel comfortable in your new environment. 

Exhaustion from the day’s nerves and long trip quickly overcame you as you settled into your new room. You closed your eyes and drifted into a deep sleep. 

Hours later, you awoke, silently thanking yourself for remembering to set an alarm. You wipe the remnants of drool from your cheek as you struggle to orient yourself. The sounds of men chattering, and the clattering of utensils from the dining room down your hall were a stark contrast to the peaceful sounds of birds and the nearby river you had grown used to.

You get up, going through your morning routine of brushing your teeth, and stare at your reflection in the mirror. The scars on your face are a constant reminder of why you quit this job in the first place. Deep red splotches along your jaw, curling up barely touching your cheekbone. You had learned to live with them, to accept them as a part of who you now were. 

Pulling your long hair up into a bun and donning your new uniform you sigh.

Alright boys and girls, here we go.

Your stomach rumbles with hunger as you leave your room, remembering to grab your new keys at the last second before locking up. 

That's all I need my first day, to have to ask for someone to let me into my own room later. Good job (y/n)

As you entered the dining room, the curious gazes were hard to ignore. You could feel the weight of their stares, the whispers and murmurs.  It was attention you'd always tried to avoid, even before being hurt, and now the feeling of being in an uncomfortable spotlight returned.

You quickly grabbed a tray and moved down the line, grabbing some food before sitting turning, trying to find an empty spot. You sigh in relief as you eye an empty table in the corner and sit down with your back facing the room. As you eat, you feel a mixture of anxiety and longing for the anonymity you’d cherished in Colorado.

Gaz slides into the seat next to you.

“Yoooo, you get any sleep at all? You look tired.”

“I slept like a damn rock, long day I guess.” you laughed, appreciating his effort to strike up a conversation. 

“I hear you there, settling in alright?” he asks

“Yeah I didn’t bring much, hopefully we can get this done and I can get back home soon. No offense, I just wasn’t in the market to come out of retirement.”

“I can imagine, I heard what happened to your team, I’m sorry mate,” Gaz says, his tone filled with genuine sympathy.

You didn’t respond to his apology, and Gaz, picking up on your need for some space fell silent too. The both of you finish breakfast quickly. 

“Thanks for sitting with me today.” you say as you get up to leave.”See you later at the meeting”

You spend the next few hours exploring the facility, getting familiar with your new surroundings. You made mental notes of the location of Price’s office and a few other key areas, like the impressive gym where you knew you’d spend a majority of your time.

As the time for the meeting gets closer, you make your way towards Price’s office. You try and mentally prepare for the pushback you know you’re about to receive. 

As you approach, Price is standing outside of his door and motions for you to come over.

“Just a heads up, the rest didn’t actually know you were coming. Just be prepared, don’t take anything to heart.” he cautioned.

“Don't worry, I love a challenge” you roll your eyes. Already annoyed with this whole ordeal.

Price is still laughing as he opens the door and you follow him inside, your eyes immediately drawn to the two men already sitting at the table. Even with half their bodies hidden underneath, you can just tell they’re huge men.  Their imposing presence demanding your attention. 

Thank god for years of training to hide your emotions because holy shit man. 

“Soap, Ghost.. This is your new teammate Lt. Reader, callsign Kasper - “

“Like the movie? Casper the ghost?” the one with the mohawk and thick Scottish accent blurts out.

“Oh bloody hell here we go. You’re fucking joking Cap” The man beside him wearing a skull print balaclava covering his entire face. 

You take the seat right across from him, meeting his stare. His eyes glaring at you through his black facepaint that covered whatever visible skin he had left on his face. You don't dare back down, you're used to this. 

With a frustrated sigh he looks away first and you give yourself a mental pat on the back. 

That’s right. Keep it together (y/n) you knew this was coming. These men didn't get the reputation they had by being friendly.

"Soap huh? Guys afraid to drop you in the shower or something?"

The Scot's eyes widen and he lets out a laugh.

"OH you're a funny one huh?" He asks, his accent coming through thick. "You'll fit right in here, lass." 

"And yes, like the movie. I'm quite talented at being undetectable when I need to be." 

Despite all the trauma you endured, you knew damn well you were lethal. You didn't spend years honing your skills in hand-to-hand combat and as a sniper to let anyone around you take away from that. Even the legends of the 141 sitting across from you. They'd find out soon enough. You didn't feel the need to elaborate further.

"Not enough, if you're here." Ghost says sarcastically. 

God, what is his problem? 

You make it through the rest of the meeting after Gaz finally gets there, late, which you sense from the lack of surprise by the other men that this was a frequent thing. You keep your eyes focused anywhere but at Ghost, determined to not let him get to you.

Price excused his team, and you waited until they had all left, hanging back to speak with him. 

“Don’t worry about Ghost, just be patient with him. He doesn’t hand out respect easily.”

His words of reassurance only help slightly and you’re not totally convinced. 

You leave his office, eager to shake off the tension it held. You hadn’t had much social interaction for months and you weren’t in the mood for childish behavior.

Chapter Text

After grabbing a quick dinner and eating in your room, you change into leggings and a long sleeve shirt before heading to the gym. Expecting it to be relatively quiet at this hour, you were surprised to find it busier than you assumed.

Your eyes quickly scan the room and spot Soap and Ghost sparring in the open mat section of the gym. Heading to the other side, you quickly put on your headphones and lose yourself in the rhythm of your exercises. The sounds of Sleep Token blaring in your ears, driving you through your grueling workout. It’s been ages you feel since you’ve had the proper equipment and it feels so good to finally work some tension out.

You finally sit down, removing your headphones as a tall man in a mask similar to ghost’s walks up to you.

“You’re new here” He says, “I’m Seargent Russ, you can call me Keegan though.”

You take in his friendly demeanor and note his American accent finding some comfort in it. There didn’t seem to be many American’s here.

“I’m Leuitanant Reader, Kasper is what everyone calls me though.”

“Ahh, so you’re the new 141 member huh, how much did Ghost shit his pants when he found that out?”

You laugh, halfway glad to hear his attitude isn’t a new thing just because of you.

“He was about as happy as a fly on shit.” you say.

“Suuuure, I don’t believe that for a second.”

He gestures to a man wearing a sniper hood across the room to come over and as he walks up you notice his height.. He’s so tall you have to reach up to even shake it.

Holy fuck, hes got to be about 7 foot tall

“Colonel Konig, nice to meet you. I’ve.. uh. heard many good things from Captain Price about you. Looking forward to working with you.” he says with a heavy German accent.

“Are you also on the team?”

“Nein nein, I’m with Kortac. I lead the group that works with Captain Price though.

He sees your hesitation and gets nervous, clearing his throat and excusing himself.

“I know what you're thinking but it’s cool, he’s one of the good ones believe it or not.” Keegan says.

“Noted.. Thanks. Still getting my bearings here” you sigh and look around the room, noticing that Ghost and Soap had returned to sparring.

Keegan nods and says goodbye, leaving you alone again. You sit there and watch with interest as you take notes of each man’s fighting styles. You saw that Soap seemed to favor his left occasionally and was slower with reactions. In contrast, Ghost displayed both power and precision in his strikes, never missing a beat. It was clear that he was the more impressive fighter of the two. You watch as Ghost takes Soap down again, chucking and out of breath as he taps out. “What’s gotten into you, lad?”

“Nothing.” Ghost grunts out, his gaze briefly locking with yours. His annoyance evident on his face. Soap follows his eyes and sees you sitting across the room. With Ghost storming out, Soap approaches you shaking his head.

“Did you hurt his feelings too” you ask.

“Ahh don’t worry about him. He’ll get over it.”

The two of you continue to talk, Soap sharing a bit about his past and how he ended up here. You reciprocated, though carefully avoiding delving into the painful details of how things ended with your last team. Those wounds were too fresh to be discussed openly.

Despite the awkward start in Price’s office, you found yourself pleasantly surprised by Soap’s genuine and amiable personality. He had a knack for story telling, especially war stories, and his Scottish accent grew thicker when he would get to the exciting parts. He recounted numerous near-misses of being blown up with a sense of humor that wouldn't make sense to anyone outside this profession. It was requirement for the job really. A necessary coping mechanism.

You guys finish talking, Soap telling you he will see you at breakfast in the morning to help you figure out what was actually good here to eat. You wave goodbye heading to your room, feeling a bit lighter than you had earlier.

Maybe this will actually work out after all

Chapter Text

You had settled into a comfortable routine during the last few weeks at the base, a routine that reminded you of the structured life you had enjoyed in the military. It was a welcome distraction from the painful memories of the past. But despite the comfort of your routine, you couldn’t escape the thoughts of your lost fiance. Kenny had been your best friend as well, and you often found yourself thumbing the wedding bands that you had moved over to your new set of dog tags. Bands that you both wore despite not getting the time to actually get married before he had been ripped from this earth. They had been a subtle reminder to you both to be careful during missions and now they were a reminder of what is at stake every day you’re here. 

You grew closer to Soap and Gaz, having been welcomed onto the team from them way easier than you had figured. Ghost though, he was still clearly upset though you didn’t really know why. You hadn’t done anything to piss him off and it seemed like the closer you got with the other two men, the more shitty looks you’d get from him. As if your breathing alone was enough to ruin his day. It was frustrating. 

You weren’t really sure why, you had dealt with his type before. Maybe it was his status as a ruthless operator, one to be respected and feared that drove you crazy wanting some type of approval. You wouldn’t be a part of the team until HE accepted you. And his stupid skull mask, always hiding his expressions, making him hard to read made you just plain pissy. 

Tonight you were ready to take on your first mission with the team. Since you had gotten here, you had been listening in on comms during their missions, getting a feel for the way they operated. Not tonight though, now you'd have a chance to show them what you're really here for.

It was set up to be a quick in and out mission, drop in, infiltrate, grab the intel and leave. Excited for an opportunity to prove your worthiness, you grabbed your bag you had readied during the day and headed out to the plane.

Walking up that evening, you see that Gaz and Soap are already sitting on the plane. Both of them joking back and forth at each other.

“Try not to get blown up today mate” Gaz jokes.

“Shut it Gaz, it’s not like I mean to, I canna help it.” Soap spits back, snapping his vest on.

You put your stuff down and start strapping on all your gear, settling in to the seat next to Soap.

“Ye ready for this lass?” Soap asks

“Absolutely, it’s been too long.” you say.

The two men share a look. They haven’t got to see your skills yet and not that they didn’t trust Price, they just found it hard to believe all the rumors surrounding you. Most of them painted you as an angel of death, when you would show up to a fight, enemies would scramble and retreat as soon as word of you was passed along their comms.

You sit there and check all your weapons, making sure your knives and extra ammo are strapped on and your M4 is ready to rock with a silencer on the end of the barrell. You preferred being a sniper but this job required closer work to be done, especially since you were the one that was supposed to grab the intel. Something that Ghost had pitched yet another fit about.

You had heard him arguing with Price in his office yesterday about it. You’d come to talk to Price about an idea you'd had and ended up listening through his door when you heard him yelling.

“You mean to tell me, you’re sending someone in who we hardly know, to grab the bloody intel and I’m supposed to trust that she can do it?? If she causes one of us to get injured, I’m going to lose my bloody fucking mind. We can’t afford mistakes Price. Not on this.” Ghost had said.

“That’s enough Ghost, give her a chance. She’s not stupid, shes not a bloody child. She may have been out for a year but her skills are undeniably strong. You’ll be a fool to think otherwise and quite frankly I’m sick of it. Lets just get this done. If she fails, we can discuss it after. Until then, let it go, whatever this is, just stop.” Price had said back, sounding exhausted.

Once Ghost and Price got to the plane and got settled, you took off, headed towards a building Graves operated from that you had just discovered a few days prior. From the drone footage you had reviewed with Laswell, it was just one large warehouse in the middle of a dense forest, similar to what you’ve infiltrated time and time again. The plan was to drop in a few clicks out, eliminate all threats, infiltrate the warehouse, secure the USB file and exfiltrate without being detected. 

Easy peasy.

The plane descended to a lower altitude as you approached the drop zone. The team was busy checking their weapons, their faces focused and determined. Price was going over some last-minute details with the pilot. And then there was Ghost, sitting quietly, his mask hiding his expression. He had opted for his hard skull mask over his balaclava today, something you noted he always did for missions. You watched as he resecured his gloves on his hands, tightening them and squeezing his fingers into clenched fists. Flexing them repeatedly, a habit. Not from anxiety, but excitement. 

The plane’s cargo door lowered and the rush of cold air filled the cabin. You checked your gear one more time, making sure everything was secure, and took a deep breath. 

Gaz looked over at you, "Nervous?"

You rolled your eyes. "Why, you wanna hold my hand when I jump." You teased. 

“Ten seconds!” Price called out.

You moved closer to the edge of the cargo hold, ready to jump, the seconds felt like an eternity as you counted down silently in your head.

“GO, GO, GO!”

“With that command, you pinched your nose and jumped like you were doing a cannonball into a pool and launched yourself out of the plane and into the night, hearing Gaz's laughter in your headset. The wind rushed past you as you plummeted toward the ground, and you could hear the others following suit. You had trained for this countless times, but the adrenaline surged though you as you approached the landing area. As you descended slowly with your parachute, you scanned the area below, looking for any signs of enemy activity. The forest loomed below, shrouded in darkness. With a soft thud you touched down, quickly detaching your parachute and moving to a nearby tree for cover. The rest of the team landed safely around you, and without a word, you all began moving silently through the trees toward the warehouse.

Ghost took point and you followed closely, watching for sniper nests in the trees as you made your way to the warehouse. It was a long run, but you reach it without seeing anyone. Ghost stops on the outskirts of the forest edge and signals for everyone to group up. You hear his gruff voice come through your earpiece, for whatever reason making your stomach do flips.

“3 targets, right side.”

You quickly take a knee before anyone else and eliminate all 3 targets with your silenced M4 before they even had time to react to the first man dropping.

“Nice shots, lass” Soap says.

Ghost glances back at you, his expression unreadable. He took the lead once again, slowly and silently approaching the door. The rest of you followed, maintaining the utmost stealth. As Ghost reached the door, he motioned for you to stack up behind him. With a nod, he pushed it open just slightly, revealing a dimly lit corridor inside.

The team moved inside, one by one, and you all began clearing the area. Your heartbeat was steady as you moved through the darkened hallways, checking corners and rooms for any threats. Ghost was at the forefront, his movements calculated and precise.

Eventually, you reached the door that seemed to lead to the main part of the warehouse. The sound of voices could be heard from the other side, indicating that there were likely more guards in there. Ghost signaled for the team to prepare and you could feel the tension in the air as everyone readied their weapons.

With a swift kick, Ghost burst through the door, gun raised. You quickly shoot over his shoulder at two guards that had their guns aimed at Ghost’s head,

"Good girl." You hear him say on comms, your stomach flutters a bit and your eyes flash. Fuck 

In a matter of seconds, the room was cleared. You moved to secure the USB file you had come for, making sure not to leave any trace behind.

As you held the precious cargo in your hands, you felt a sense of accomplishment you didn’t realize you’d missed. The mission had gone well so far and it seemed Ghost’s doubts about you were slowly fading.

With the intel secured, you and the team exited the warehouse the way you had come in, making your way back through the forest to the extraction point. The night had been a success. You found yourself wondering if Ghost’s opinion of you had truly changed or if this was just a temporary ceasefire in his skepticism. 

Chapter Text

Ghost was quiet on the way back. His thoughts conflicted. He had doubted your skills, but seeing the way you worked in action surprised him. And when you saved his ass in there, it made him mad.

 He couldn’t explain to himself why. He never left himself so open to attack like that but having you nearby him had thrown off his concentration. You were a distraction he couldn’t shake. He had never had this issue before. 

Every time you looked at him, he couldn’t even think straight. Your striking features made his breath hitch every time he saw your face. Even with the burns down one side of your face, you were beautiful. No, scratch that he thought, even more so because of the burns.  He was a man, he could admit that. But there was something different about you he couldn’t wrap his mind around. The effortless way you shrugged off his stares, never backing down when you would catch him. A feat in its own right. He knew how he made others feel. The way you didn't try to cover up your scars, like you wore them proudly, not giving a fuck who saw or what questions they might have. Your strength and resilience were annoying. Most people he knew, especially being in this profession, would cover all of that up, not wanting to expose any weakness. Not you though. Nothing bothered you.

Not with your sharp (reader's colored) eyes, framed with crinkles when you would laugh, which you did so often with Soap and Gaz, even Keegan. Doesn’t matter , he thinks, you can’t be trusted . Not after he had learned what had happened to your old team.

After some digging, he found out that a mole had been within your old unit and had shared your plans with Graves on the last mission. And he was pissed that Price hadn't been upfront with him about your past. Being the only one left alive and then going into hiding, Ghost had a suspicion it had been you. How else did you make it out of there? Price was tight-lipped about the details and it was frustrating. How could we trust her? Even if she saved my life back there, (which you would never admit to anyone) she could just be worming her way onto your team and into your endless thoughts, before setting fire to it all.

He caught sight of you thumbing your tags, catching a glimpse of something else hanging on there but he couldn’t figure out what. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen you do that. You had secrets, that was for sure. And he was going to find out exactly what they were.

You sit in the cargo hold of the plane and hand over the USB drive to Price, earning a small nod of approval from him. You knew you had kicked ass tonight. You always do.

When you get back to base, you head to your room, passing by Keegan on the way.

“Hey kid, how’d it go?” He asked, catching up to you and slinging an arm around your shoulders as you walked. He had grown on you the past few weeks, you often found yourself talking to him after training, reminiscing about what you missed from the States.

“Kicked ass, duh. Why, were you worried about me?” You say giggling from the leftover adrenaline and looking up at him. 

“Nah, I’ve seen you on the range, you're not a bad shot.”

"OH, high praise, even if it's from a little bitch like you."

"Savage, Kasper." He puts a hand over his heart.

Ghost shoved his way past you both, his long strides always carrying him faster than you.

“Get a room, Keegan.” His gravelly voice spits out as he passes.

"For me and you? You're not really my type, Ghost." Keegan shoots back, always finding amusement in Ghost's attitude with me.

Ghost's comment shocked you. You had never heard him make a remark outside of when it was actually required to speak to you. He almost sounded jealous, if you didn’t think you knew better. Surely not Ghost, the man just hated you, and likewise. 

__ 

The next morning, you had the day off and decided to go talk to Price. You pulled on your leggings, opting for a short-sleeved compression shirt, having gotten a little bit more used to the idea of people seeing your scars. Also, it was fucking hot out and the a/c here sucked.

As you approached Price’s office you could hear voices inside. Ghost’s unmistakable voice caught your attention, it seemed like he was already discussing you with Price. You hesitated for a moment, wondering if you should wait until they were finished, but curiosity got the better of you, and you gently knocked and pushed the door open.

Inside, you found Ghost and Price in a heated argument. They both looked up as you entered, and Ghost’s expression hardened when he saw you.

Price cleared his throat and motioned for you to take a seat. “Kasper, we were just discussing the mission. Please have a seat.”

You settled into a chair, feeling Ghost’s piercing gaze. Price continued “I wanted to talk about your performance last night. You did well, and I think it’s clear that you are an asset to this team.”

Ghost snorted, clearly still not convinced. “I’m not sure about that Price.”

Price turned to him with a stern look, “I understand your concerns, but she proved herself last night, and you know as well as I do, we can use all the help we can get to bring Graves down.”

Ghost clenched his jaw, the action pulling his mask tighter around his face, but he didn’t argue further.

“Also, there’s something else I’d like to discuss. I spent the morning going over the intel and found some interesting things...” Price continues. His expression softens and it makes you uneasy. 

“Your old team was taken out during a mission to take down Graves.” You stop yourself from visibly flinching at him bringing it up, determined not to show any feeling in front of Ghost.

“Yes, sir”

“And you’re aware there was a mole feeding information from your team to the Shadow Company correct?”

This actually shocked you. You had heard whispers about it when you were laid up in the hospital for weeks after the mission. But since you retired immediately after you had never really known what had happened. You had just run from everything, not wanting anything to do with the mission, the military, nothing.

“Not exactly, no? I had heard that was a possibility but it was never confirmed,” you answer.

“Well, after looking at that thumb drive you got last night, we know who it was,” he says.

“You’re shitting me, who?”

“Lieutenant Kenny Werner.”

You almost fucking pass out right there. The room starts spinning and you feel yourself slipping away. Being dragged back to that night, laying there, smelling your uniform burnt to your skin. Hearing screams all around you. How the fuck could Price be standing here and telling you that YOUR fiance, was the one that had passed the information over. He must be wrong.

“No, no you’ve got to have it wrong.” you manage to mumble. Your hands once again find the set of rings on your dog tags under your shirt. 

“There’s no way he would have done that. He-.. There’s no way.”

Images of the two you of laughing in bed together after a mission flash through your mind. He was so full of love, so open and honest.  

“I love you Kasper.”

“I love you too Kenny.”

“I’m sorry Kasper, but I’m absolutely certain. He had been giving them information for almost a year and a half before everything happened.” His eyes filled with sympathy and he sighed heavily. “I wish i had all the answers, Reader, but sometimes people change, or they have hidden motives that we can’t comprehend. It’s a painful truth… He wasn’t the one you were enga-” he starts to ask.

“--YES, oh my GOD. There’s no fucking way, I’ve got to get out of here.”

You throw yourself out of your chair and practically run to your room, half-shoving people in the hallway over as you do. You didn’t care, none of them mattered anyway. Nothing mattered. Everything you knew had been a lie. Everything. Every moment you had spent with Kenny, is now stained. Every second you wasted grieving over him. 

I can’t fucking do this. 

You curl yourself up into a ball and sob. Letting out tears you thought you had run out of long ago. Your hand slips to your necklace, grasping the rings. Trying to squeeze the reality of the situation out of them. If you could just squeeze them tight enough, everything would go back to normal.

With your world shattered, you lay there for hours, your thoughts a chaotic whirlwind of pain, anger, and confusion. 

Eventually, you drifted off into a fitful sleep, the dog tags still clutched gently in your hand, a silent promise to yourself that you would find a way to make things right. To avenge your fallen teammates, and to confront the painful truth of your past.

Chapter Text

Ghost had stayed back in Price’s office after you ran out. 

Price quietly sat down, lighting a cigar and taking a deep puff. “Fuck, mate. I didn’t know. I didn’t make the connection” He says quietly almost to himself.

“What are you talking about?” Ghost asks Price. He knew that betrayal is devastating for anyone but he had never seen anyone so completely broken like that. The look in your eyes when you were told stirring emotions in him he didn’t know how to place.

“He was her fiance, Ghost.”

“Shite. That answers that then. Fuck… You’re telling me, she lost her entire team, blaming herself for a mistake she didn’t make, and then a year grieving a man that was the one that fucking caused all this to begin with?” he says.

Price nods, leaning back in his chair and staring at the ceiling, blowing cigar smoke out in a long breath. “Looks like it.”

You both sit in silence for a while, processing the magnitude of what you have all just learned.

“What are we going to do with her now?” Ghost finally asks, breaking the silence.

Price takes another puff of his cigar, contemplating. “We’re going to have to give her some time, let her come to terms with everything. It’s a lot for anyone to take in. We can’t afford to lose her. We’ll need to watch her closely, support her, make sure she doesn’t lose control.”

You’re both aware of what that means. Ghost had been in a similar state several months ago. A mission had gone wrong and a little girl was killed because of his mistake. Gaz had found him with a gun to his head a few days later.

Shaking off the memory, Ghost nods, a heavy weight settling in his chest. He had been so quick to judge you, so quick to push you away. Now he understood the pain you carried, and couldn’t help but to feel a sense of responsibility for it.

“We owe it to her team to take down Graves” Ghost says with determination.

Price agrees “Getting soft on her already Ghost?” he muses.

Ghost doesn’t answer. 

He gets up and heads to your room, his thoughts racing. His resentment is replaced by a sudden need to protect you. He wasn’t sure why his feelings had come on so strong. He never involves himself in anyone's personal life. But he couldn’t help himself. He had spent weeks being awful to you and he felt guilty. There he admitted it to himself, his therapist would be proud.

He slowed down and came to a quiet stop outside of your door, not sure what he was even going to stay. As he stood there collecting himself, he raised a hand to knock but held back. He could hear your sobs coming from inside. He stood there listening to you for longer than he even realized. Paralyzed. Eventually, he heard you quiet down and after standing there for an embarrassingly inappropriate amount of time, he headed to his own room, choosing not to disturb you. 

He sat down on the edge of his bed after locking his door behind him, taking off his mask, and putting his face in his hands.  He wrestled with his feelings and the guilt that was gnawing at him. He had never expected to find himself in this situation, caring about someone on his team, it was a hard rule for him. And his rules were everything to him. He had done everything he could to push you away and you had let him. Taking all of his insults in stride. He wasn’t sure how to navigate it.

He knew he needed to give you space and time to process the news, but he couldn't help but feel a growing need to be there for you in some way.

"Bloody hell." He groans out loud. 

As he contemplates his next steps, Ghost can’t shake the feeling that he needs to make amends and offer you support, even if he’s not entirely sure how to do it.

—---

You wake up feeling emotionally drained, the weight of the truth about Kenny’s betrayal still heavy on your heart. It’s hard to shake off the pain and anger that’s been festering inside of you. The dreams about your old team and memories of happier times swirl in your head.

You sit up in bed, taking a moment to collect your thoughts and push back the waves of sorrow. As you rub your temples, feeling your scars on one side, you kick yourself for not remembering to buy more Tylenol. It was going to be a long day.

You get dressed and as you’re about to leave your room, you hear a knock. 

“Hang on.” You say, heading to the door.

When you open it you find Soap standing there.

“Hey Bonnie, mind if I come in?”

“Sure, what's up?” you ask.

“Price wanted me to let you know that our mission today was canceled. I was going to text you but I wanted to see how you were doing.” It was only a partial lie, Price had made it clear that he was worried about you when Soap spoke to him this morning and asked him to drop in on you.

You flop down on your bed and sigh, “Thanks Soap.. I’ll be alright.”

Soap takes a seat beside you, close but not quite touching. He turns and looks down at you lying on your back and you notice for the first time how green his eyes are. You see a faint blush spreading across his cheeks as he looks away for a moment. “If ye ever need to talk about anything, I’m here. You’re not alone in this Bonnie.”

A soft smile graces your lips as you place a hand on his, appreciating his sincerity. “Thanks.. I'm more of a suffer-in-silence type" you try to break the tension.

He laughs, "Aren't we all."

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you speak up.

“Stop making this fucking weird, Dial. Don’t get all soft on me.” You joke.

“Oh shut it, lass. You’re the one making it weird.”

You get up and pace around your room, shaking off whatever tension was left in the room.  

Soap leaves and you sit down at your desk and pull out your phone. You start going through your old photos, feeling a profound sense of betrayal and pain. It’s difficult to process the idea that someone so close to you, someone you loved, could be capable of such deception. Your own self-blame and feelings of naivety compound the heartache.

Taking a last look at each of the photos, you hit select all and delete them. Your anger rises to the surface. You yank the chain off your neck and rip off the rings, throwing them into the back of a drawer. The sound of them hitting the wood was a release of pain and anger that you’ve held on to for too long. You know it won't erase what happened, but it feels like a step in the right direction. 

It settles in on you that you’ve spent over a year of your life, mourning someone that wasn’t worthy. Pushing people away, never wanting to get close. Fuck, you even spent most of the money you had saved for years purchasing the property in Colorado. For what? To live out some dream of having a family there with a dead person? A person you now know betrayed you in the worst possible of ways.

The realization hits you like a ton of bricks. You’ve been isolating yourself and pushing away any chance at happiness based on a lie. 

Getting up, you walk out of your room and head towards the common area. Finding Soap and Gaz watching some cartoons and chatting about their plans for the night. Ghost was also there, in the corner with his head down speaking with Keegan who gives you a wave from over Ghost’s shoulder.

You sit down in between Gaz and Soap and throw your feet up in the chair in front of you.

 “Hey Kasper, you know anything about all the fucking itching powder in my gear?” Gaz asks.

“The WHAT?” You feign shock, you had gotten him back for loosening all the screws on your chair in the briefing room which resulted in you breaking it and falling over in front of everyone. “Nope, sure don’t”

“That’s what I thought,” he says seeing right through you, “You cheeky little shit.”

You giggle and rest your head on his shoulder, “Oh come on, I was just ITCHING to get you back, you started this.”

As you joke around with them, it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. The camaraderie and lighthearted moments are something you’ve missed for far too long.

Soap barks out a laugh and Keegan and Ghost look over your way. Ghost notes the way you lean onto Gaz and the way you fit in so easily with them.

Ghost watches you joking around with a mixture of curiosity and irritation. He’s well aware of the connection forming between you and the rest of the team and it leaves him with mixed feelings. He can’t help but feel like an outsider, his earlier interactions a stark contrast to the current atmosphere. 

You feel Ghost staring at you and glance his way, yep, he is as usual. You go to look away but notice his gaze is lacking his usual irritation at you. It makes your stomach do the stupid floppy thing again.

His gaze lingers on you longer than usual, there’s a flicker of something different in his expression and it makes you wonder what's going on in his mind.

“Say Bonnie, why don't you come out with us tonight, you canna keep avoiding it. We’ve got the next few days off.”

It’s not the first time Soap has invited you, you just always said no. Carefully choosing to remain detached from the group in order to not get hurt. You consider it for a moment.

 “Sure I’ll meet you guys there, I need to see for myself if you can actually play pool as well as you say you can.”

Soap grins at your response and yells over to Keegan, “Told you she would come tonight, lad. You owe me 20 pounds.”

“It’s dollars Soap, dollars.”

Keegan gets up and walks over, lifting your feet off the chair across from you and sitting down, putting them back in his lap. “It’s about time you come hang out with us. I was starting to think you were a prude.”

“HA, fat chance. I just didn’t want to show anyone up with my beer-pong skills. I know how you boys get sensitive with your bets.”

“OOo those are fighting words, you’re on Kasper.” he winks at you.

The banter and camaraderie between you and your teammates ease the tension in the room, and you find yourself starting to relax. Ghost, however, remains mostly quiet, his gaze still focused on you. While you're still unsure of his intentions, the possibility of fitting in with your new team, even just for a night, tempts you. You remind yourself that keeping your distance was your initial strategy, but tonight might be an exception.

Chapter Text

9:05pm

Dial: Where the fuck are u lass?

Kasper: OMW hang on you big baby.

Dial: Just making sure you didnt chicken out.

Kasper: Not in your dreams bodywash

You finally get to the bar and walk in to find Keegan and Soap locked in a beer pong battle. The table next to them filled with empty drinks is a sign they’re already way ahead of you. Stopping by the bar, you grab a beer and join them. “Who’s winning?” you ask Gaz, who’s on his phone, no doubt texting the cute recruit you saw him in the hallway with earlier. 

“Keegan, Soap is trashed” He laughs out. 

“Clearly.” you say

You saunter over to the beer pong table, taking a seat on the nearby bar stool. Soap comes over and gives you a sloppy hug, 

“Kaaasperrrr!!! Ye made it, bonnie, thought you’d ghost us. Get it, Get it??” He loudly jokes. You can hardly understand him his accent is so strong.

You throw your head back and laugh, "Damn Dial, you're a mess when you're drunk, get it together "lad" you say, mocking his accent giving him a playful nudge to his ribs. 

Keegan comes over, slinging an arm over your shoulders, "OH be nice, if he's drunk, I can take his money duh. Let the man have some fun." He says, looking down at you with a grin on his face. He's opted for a half mask today and you notice his hair is a long, messy, dark brown, making his blue eyes stand out even more than usual. What is with all these guys being so fucking hot, jesus.

You settle into the night, chatting with your teammates and enjoying the atmosphere of the bar. Ghost shows up shortly after you and takes a seat next to Gaz back at the table, nursing a whiskey all night.

You can’t help but to notice his occasional glances in your direction, he seems different tonight, more relaxed, not the usual cold, distant figure you’re used to seeing. The few times you allow yourself a look, you see him laughing along with Gaz at some unknown joke, probably Soap making an ass out of himself.

After several hours, beating Soap numerous times in beer pong, the bar starts to clear out. Gaz and Keegan had left, no doubt finding some girl to bring back to their rooms like you usually saw them do. You quickly realized that you’d have quite the job getting Soap back to base, he could hardly stand. You start clearing off the table, throwing away wet napkins and empty beer bottles while Ghost sits and watches you quietly. 

“You ok to drive?” He asks suddenly. It catches you off guard.

You glance over at him, “Yeah I’m fine to drive, we aren’t far from the base anyway. Just have to figure out how to get him in my car.” You say pointing your thumb over your shoulder at Soap.

“I can help, I need a ride back too, if you would. I was dropped off.” he says

“Umm. sure. Thanks.” You aren’t sure what to make of his offer. 

You manage to get Soap to his feet, draping his arm over your shoulders for support, the weight of all 6 foot 5 inches of just about takes your knees out until Ghost takes his other side. You help him stumble out of the bar, The cool night air hitting you as you step outside. It makes you aware of just how much you’ve had to drink as well.

With some effort, you shove Soap into the back seat and get him settled. Ghost turns to you, snatching your keys out of your hand and getting in the drivers seat. You scoff at him and stomp off to the passenger side and get in. “I’m FINE, Ghost, I could have driven.”

“Doesn’t mean you should, love.”

You stare at your hands, feeling a bit scolded like a child. Your mouth turns down into a pout and you roll your eyes. “Yes, sir.”

“Fuck. Don’t bloody call me that.” He mumbles under his breath, adjusting himself in the seat. The drive back to the base is quiet, filled with tension and unspoken thoughts. You can’t help but sneak glances at him while he concentrates on the road. There’s a vulnerability to him tonight that you’ve never witnessed before. Maybe it's just the alcohol you’ve had. It's definitely the alcohol.

Once you arrive at the base, you help Ghost get Soap out of the car and into his room. He's practically passed out, so you gently guide him to bed. You pull his shoes off for him, make sure he’s on his side and cover him up with his blanket. 

Ghost stands back, observing your efforts, a strange mix of emotions plays across his face, invisible behind his mask. He looks like he’s wrestling something in his head but you don’t press it. You’re too tired.

“Thanks Ghost” you say, acknowledging his help, he just nods at you.

You both leave Soap’s room and as you head to yours, Ghost follows you, making sure you get there without any issue. He hands your keys back to you once you get to your door and takes a deep breath.

“I’m sorry about.. what happened with your team.” He seems to want to say more but you interrupt him.

“I don’t want your pity Ghost. I dont need it. What’s done is done. No one could possibly understand what I went through.”

Ghost seems taken aback by your response. 

“I don’t pity you, Kasper, I just wanted to acknowledge what you’ve been through. And you’re not the only one here that’s been betrayed by someone they trusted.”

Your guard softens slightly, and you feel embarrassed. You didn’t know much of his past, besides what you had guessed at from the whispers around base.

“I appreciate that, I’m sorry, it’s just been a long night.”

Ghost nods and clenches his jaw, the motion almost imperceptible under his mask. It’s as close to an agreement as you’ve had since meeting him. With that, Ghost heads down the hallway, leaving you at your door. You watch him go, wondering to yourself why he gets you so easily worked up. You go inside, taking a quick shower and sobering up a bit before you lay down in bed. You’re asleep before your head hits the pillow.

—-----------------------------------------------

Ghost had left your room, kicking himself for how the interaction went. You were stubborn, maybe more stubborn than he was. His thoughts drift back to the way you took care of Soap, making sure he was comfortable and safe in his room tonight. A small gesture but it had an unexpected softness to it.

The night was long, thoughts battled in his head, he struggled to reconcile his growing fascination with you. His instinctive protectiveness. As the hours passed while he lay in his bed, he gradually allowed himself to accept that he couldn’t compartmentalize you neatly into his preconceived notions. 

Chapter Text

8:16 am

Dial: Thanks for getting me home last night, Kasper. Canna believe I got that drunk.

Gazaroo: I can.

Dial: Oh, hey, it’s the dobber that left me at the bar without a ride. Again.

Gazaroo: Can’t help it if I actually get pussy, you’d understand if you had any game at all

Dial: I’m wounded.

Kasper: You’re lucky you didn’t puke until you got out of my car, bodywash. I didn’t feel like digging a grave so late at night. 

Gazaroo: Bodywash?? Lmaooooo

Dial: I hate you both

Kasper: Love you all too

Ghost: How are you all annoying even over text?

Kasper: Except you.

Papa Price: Kasper, come to my office.

Dial: OOOOoo 

Gazaroo: Someone’s in trouuuble

Kasper : Copy

You throw on a clean uniform, grateful that you did laundry the day before, and head to Price’s office. You catch him in the hallway and head inside after him, taking a seat and leaning back with a sigh. You eye the mug you had gotten him on an impulse a few days ago. “Have the Day You Deserve” written on the side of it. He loved it. Price walks around his desk lighting a cigar, he sits and looks at you. His eyes filled with amusement. 

“Relax, you’re not in trouble. I’m glad you’re getting along with everyone.” He starts, “ I know you had reservations but we really do  like having you here.”

You clear your throat, you hadn’t expected this to be what he wanted to see you for.

“It’s just time I move on.” You say simply. You know you’ve shut everyone out for too long, not just the team.

He sits back and studies your face with another long drag of his cigar. “Good. Now I have to ask, only because I care for you. If you want to see the therapist on base, I can set you up. I'm not going to mandate that you do it but it might help. I know that you must be hurting”

You bristle at the idea, therapists weren’t your thing. “Thanks but I'm all good Cap.”

“I figured, I’ll leave it alone then.” He answers.

You get up, saying goodbye, and start to head out his door but you run smack dab into a brick wall. Nope, scratch that, not a brick wall, Ghost. Same thing.

“Fuck, sorry”, you pat his chest as if you hurt HIM

He laughs, looking down at your hand, “Watch it, Kasper.”

You quickly retract your hand, your surprise evident on your face as you crane your neck to look up at all 6 foot 5 inches of him. “My bad, I didn’t see you there.” You laugh at the irony.

He smirks beneath his mask, giving your stomach butterflies. You can see the crinkling around his eyes you’re so close.

“It’s alright, I should’ve been more careful, I know you’re clumsy”

You roll your eyes “Guilty as charged.”

He steps aside, heading into Price’s office, letting you through and you walk past him, continuing down the hallway, trying to get your heartbeat under control. 

You head towards the dining hall, starving after skipping breakfast. After grabbing your tray, you find a seat next to Gaz and Soap.

“What's up, losers?” You ask as you sit down, grabbing a muffin off of Soap’s tray.

“Hands off, Kasper.” He warns you, trying to grab your wrist but just missing. You look him right in his eyes and take a huge bite.

“What, couldn he-ar yoa lad” you say with a full mouth.

He shakes his head, “You fucking minx.” he steals it back.

You chew your mouthful of muffin with a playful grin, savoring your win. The banter with him and Gaz is a familiar and comforting part of your routine. 

As you continue to eat, you overhear Gaz talking about a new recruit who’s been causing some commotion.

Gaz says, “Blokes a right troublemaker, he is. Pulled a prank on the CO yesterday and Price is fuming mad.”

Soap chimes in, “Yeah I heard he’s been trying to challenge Ghost at everything. He’s got balls, I’ll give him that.”

Gaz nods, “Yeah he’s got some skills, but he’s got a lot to learn about respect. I don't think he knows what he’s getting into.”

“Someone challenging Ghost huh, might be good for him,” You say “Knock him down a peg or twenty”

Gaz and Soap exchange amused glances before Gaz chuckles and says “You’re right, a bit of competition might do him some good. I wouldn't underestimate him though, he’s a stubborn bastard.”

You shrug and continue eating your breakfast.

“I'd pay money to see it,” you say.

_____________________________

Turns out, you didn’t need to pay anything, you walk into the training room a few hours later and find Ghost sparring with the new recruit, "teaching" a class.

You were going to lift some weights but watching them sounded like a way better option. You lean up against the wall near the mats. Ghost goes toe to toe with the new recruit. He’s clearly testing the guy’s skills, his movements precise and calculated. It’s an intense fight and you can see the sweat soaking through Ghost’s shirt.

The new recruit is good, but Ghost’s experience shines through. He parries the recruit’s strikes and lands a series of rapid punches, forcing the recruit to step back and catch their breath.

You can’t help but admire Ghost’s skills. The way he moves, the fire in his eyes. Not to mention the fact that watching him in just a t-shirt, cargo pants, and balaclava is quite the scene. The mans fucking hot, you’ll give him that. 

You’re not the only one who's watching, the other recruits in the class have gathered to watch this rare spectacle. After a particularly well-executed series of moves, Ghost manages to put the troublemaker in a hold, forcing them to submit. 

Ghost glances over at you before turning to grab a drink of water. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the recruit, clearly embarrassed, move towards Ghost. His intentions of taking a cheap shot were written all over his face.  Without thinking, you run over and sweep the man’s legs from under him, getting behind him as he drops to his knees. You put him in a chokehold and lean down to whisper, “What do you think you’re doing, huh? I saw that. Taking a cheap shot because you got embarrassed? Bad form my guy. What’s your name?”

The recruit struggles in your hold, realizing he’s been caught and is powerless. “Get off me you bitch.” he spits out at you. Ghost’s head whips around and he laser beams his eyes on him.

“That would be Lieutenant Bitch to you buddy. I’ll ask you again. What.. Is.. Your.. Name.”

You tighten your grip on his neck, making it clear that you’re not to be messed with. He grunts in pain.

“It’s Simmons,” he sputters out.

You nod and release your hold, allowing him to catch his breath. “Good, Simmons. Now you listen up, I’ve heard enough about your disrespect here already. What do you think you’re doing, taking a cheap shot at your superior? Are you fucking stupid or do you simply have a death wish?”

Simmons just stares at you in a rage

“Stupid it is then.” You say, leaving him there in his own embarrassment. “You’ll do well to remember your place Simmons, or you won't last long here.”

He remains on his knees, fuming with anger, his face flushed. He doesn’t respond, but it’s clear that your message struck a nerve. You stand up, not giving him any more of your attention, and return to your spot by the wall.

Ghost approaches, his eyes crinkled in a smile. “Thanks for that, not that I needed the help.”

You nod, a small smirk forming on your lips. “He pissed me off. I hate little shits like him”

He chuckles softly, the sound muffled by his mask “Fair enough. Just don’t make a habit of it, you’ll ruin my reputation, lass.” He jokes.

You raise an eyebrow in mock innocence, “Who, me?? I’m just here to enjoy the show.”

“Is that right?” He asks, “And what show is that?”

“Stop, you know what I mean.”

He tilts his head slightly, a glint in his eyes, “Alright, alright, no need to get defensive. You just have a thing for watching people fight?”

You roll your eyes, hiding your grin, “Actually, Gaz told me you had your hands full with this one” you gestured to Simmons who was sulking by the weight machines, talking with the group of new recruits he had arrived to base with and glaring in your direction. “I was hoping to see you get your ass kicked.”

“That's a bit harsh innit?” he laughs.

“Can’t let you think you’re invincible now can we?”

Ghost’s laughter is muffled by the mask. “Far from invincible, love,” he says, “just well prepared.”

“I could take you.” You say without hesitating. You’ve been watching him long enough to clock his strengths and weaknesses.

“Oh, I doubt that, plus you’d get hurt,” He says.

You cock your eyebrow up and him with a tilt of your head. “Hurt? You really think so?”

He shakes his head and holds his palms out to his sides, “I’ve been doing this for a long time, Kasper, I know how to handle myself and you’re half my size.” he takes a step closer to you.

“You’d be surprised, I’ve taken down men bigger than you.” you tease.

He raises an eyebrow, his expression inscrutable beneath his mask, “Is that so?” he responds with a hint of amusement.

You lean in closer, your tone playful and challenging. “Wanna find out?”

“Bloody hell..” He considers for a moment. “Alright, give it your best shot, I promise I’ll go easy on you.”

“Right back at you.” 

You push away from the wall and step out onto the mat, the group of recruits Ghost was supposed to be teaching talking to each other in whispers. No one has seen you fight yet and they’ve all been curious to see if you live up to the rumors that follow you. You clock their smirks, they fully assume you’re about to be the one that gets YOUR ass beat.

You square off, facing each other. With surprising speed and agility, you launch your first attack, not wasting one second to start. It’s a quick jab, aimed at his chin, but he easily sidesteps it. The exchange is fast and fierce, with Ghost mostly on the defense, dodging your strikes and countering with precision.

Your movements are fluid and unpredictable, making it difficult for Ghost to anticipate your next move. After a few minutes, he finally finds an opening and sweeps your legs out from underneath you, sending you to the ground.

You land with a thud but quickly scramble to your feet, dodging his attempt to jump on top of you. Using his momentum against him you swing around behind him and climb onto his shoulders, locking his head in between your thighs, and with a huff, you throw yourself backward, taking him with you. 

The training mat resounds with the loud thud of both your bodies hitting the ground. Ghost grunts as he lands, caught off guard by your speed. For a moment, you’ve got him in a vulnerable position, his head still locked between your thighs as he reaches up and refuses to tap out. 

The recruits around you gasp in surprise, none of them expected to see Ghost taken down. They’ve seen him take some hits before but never flat on his back. You take a second to silently celebrate your victory but you’re well aware that this is only the beginning. Ghost isn’t one to stay down long.

With impressive speed, he rolls to the side and throws you off of him, managing to break free from your hold. You both scramble to your feet, now on even ground.

He looks at you, his eyes holding a mixture of respect and intrigue. “Impressive,” he says, his voice calm but laced with a hint of amusement.

You grin, catching your breath “Told you I’ve taken down bigger men than you.”

He lets out a low grunt of frustration and starts to circle you. You match his steps and focus on him, trying to anticipate his movements. You both know this is just sparring but a competitive edge from both of you starts to come out.

Ghost feints a jab at your head, taking a more offensive-sided approach this time, and as you react, he quickly changes course and goes for a leg sweep. Not wanting to repeat the mistake you made a minute ago, you manage to leap over it, maintaining your balance.

The dance between the two of you continues, a flurry of punches, kicks and dodges. The recruits around you are enthralled, watching every move with bated breath. The fight is intense, and it becomes clear that Ghost isn’t taking it lightly either. He’s putting in a genuine effort to challenge you.

Finally, after a well-timed counter, you manage to land a punch on Ghost’s chin. It’s not a knockout blow but it’s enough to earn gasps from the crowd that’s doubled in size since you started. You look up and see Price standing off on the edge with a grin on his face.

The two of you gradually slow down, both showing signs of exertion. You circle each other one last time before deciding to call it a draw, each respecting the other’s skills. Ghost had landed a few good punches too. You share a nod of respect.

“I’ll give it to you lass, you’re not bad.”

“What’s that you say?” You put a hand up behind your ear.

"Come on now, nuff of that, Kasper." He says, absentmindedly rubbing his chin where you had hit him. 

"I think you broke my shoulders though, you huge fuck. You owe me a drink." You moan, rubbing them. 

"Serves you right, I told you you would get hurt." He says.

Price walks over and slaps a hand on your shoulder, you wince, "Atta, girl. Bout time someone gave Ghost a run for his money."

"Not you too Cap," Ghost spits out. 

"He's fragile, Price, take it easy on him." 

Ghost lets out a growl at you and you walk away, back to your room. Leaving both the men staring after you shaking their heads. 

Back in your room, you can’t help but smile to yourself. The adrenaline from the spar still courses through your veins, and it feels good to have earned Ghost’s respect, even if it’s just in a friendly sparring match.  Your thoughts drift to the man beneath the mask, the complexity of his character, and the intriguing connection that seems to be developing. His muscles though, whooo lordy. You fan yourself and do a silly dance, ugh so good. You’re still buzzing as you step into your shower. God what is wrong with me, I just need to get laid or something. 

Chapter Text

8:06pm

Kasper: Just so everyone knows, I kicked Ghost’s ass today.

Dial: WHAT? HOW DID I MISS THIS

Gazaroo: I always miss the good stuff omg

Keegan: No fucking way.

Ghost: You did NOT, Kasper

Papa Price: She did. I saw it

Kasper: DEAD

Dial: Fuck lmaoooo

Gazaroo: Does anyone have a video??

Ghost: If they do, I’ll murder them.

Price: I can get the footage off the security cameras.

Dial: OMW to your office

Gazaroo: Save me a seat

Kasper: I knew you were my favorite, pops

Papa Price: Don’t call me that or I won't let you watch.

Kasper: FINE, omw

Keegan: Please, someone send it to me lmao, I’m stuck across base.

Ghost: Kill me now.

_____________________

Soon, you’re all crammed inside of Price’s office, watching the security footage. Everyone laughing their asses off. Soap was wiping tears from his eyes. 

“Seems like we underestimated you, lass.” He says with a slap on your still sore back.

“To be fair, she’s built like a spider monkey.” Ghost says, a weak attempt at defending himself.

“To be FAIR, you’re built like a brick shithouse and I still won. I’m the supreme. Bow to me.” you spit back. Gaz and Soap making a show of bowing down to you with their arms up.

“Piss OFF, Kasper.” Ghost says back, punching Soap in his arm with everyone laughing, “I need a fucking pint or 12. Pub tonight?”

The idea of going to the bar is met with agreement from everyone else and you all leave to get ready.

_____________________

This time you end up driving in Price’s truck with Ghost. It’s unfortunately a single cab and you huff in irritation at being stuck between the two men. You didn’t think this through you just wanted to get drunk and not worry about a ride.

“Oh my GOD, move your stupid tree trunk of a leg over Ghost, I can’t even get comfortable.” 

Ghost gives you a side eye and waves towards his legs as if to say, where? There really was no room. "Need I remind you this was your idea?"

You roll your eyes and try to make the best of it, leaning against his broad shoulders as the truck heads to the pub. Once there, he gets out quickly and you almost fall over from the sudden lack of him taking up the space.

“Dick,” you tell him.

Price laughs, “Stop fighting like children you two, you’re giving me a bloody headache.”

You glare at them both and take off through the parking lot ahead of them. As you enter, you raise your chin, looking around to see who else is already there, and head to the bar for a beer.  You quickly order one and with it in your hand, you turn and see Ghost and Price making their way through the crowd towards you. The three of you head towards your usual table, the former occupants jumping up and leaving as soon as they see Ghost. You can’t help but giggle. With the table now free, you take your seat, still chuckling, and sip on your beer. It’s not often you get to witness such an immediate and dramatic response to Ghost’s reputation. 

The others finally join you and you take the time to sit back and watch them all interact. Soap and Keegan playing pool, forever locked in a bet against the other on who will win. Gaz and Price laughing about the footage earlier of you and Ghost sparring. You take a deep breath and finally feel some sense of belonging. Heck, you might have finally won Ghost over. At least a little. He isn’t giving you his death stares anymore. You take the opportunity you have, while he's distracted watching Soap try to talk to some girl, and really look at him. The way his features relax and seem at ease, you get a rare glimpse into the more human side of him that few people get to see.

Despite the ever-present balaclava, you notice subtle hints of his emotions in the way he sits, the way his eyes crinkle in amusement and the way his body language seems less rigid. It’s an intriguing sight. 

He turns his head and looks at you, meeting your eyes, catching you staring. “Take a picture, love, it’ll last longer.”

“Can’t, don’t want to break my camera.” you joke.

“Cheeky woman.”

“Just thinking, It’s not every day I get to see you in such a good mood. Especially after getting your ass kicked.”

He smirks beneath his mask, a twinkle of humor in his eyes. “Aye, well don’t get used to it, it’s a rare occurrence.”

You lean back, a sly smile on your face. “Noted, I shall cherish the memory Lt.”

He rolls his eyes, “You're impossible.”

“You love it,” you tease “Admit it, Ghost.”

He simply smirks and lifts the bottom of his mask up just far enough to take a sip of his drink. You instinctively look away to give him privacy. 

About 8 beers in, you decide it’s time to challenge Soap to a game of pool. Stupid really, you should know better than to drink this much before but you figure Soap is drunk anyway so it’s an even playing field.

You walk over to him to ask but he’s putting his pool cue up, along with Keegan. “Sorry Bonnie, can’t, we've got business to deal with.” He says grinning and pointing over his shoulder at two girls staring at them and giggling at each other. 

“Oh my God, you guys are so fucking lame.” you pout.

“Oh hush, Kas,” Keegan laughs, “You need to relax, go get laid too.”

You sigh, realizing they’re probably right, maybe it’s time to let loose a little. “Fine go be idiots. Make sure to wrap your shit, the last thing this world needs is little YOU’s” You flip them both off, them returning it over their shoulders and walking away.

Now that you’ve gotten up, you realize you need to pee really bad so you head to the bathroom, a little unsteady on your feet.

Once you’re done, you wash your hands and splash a bit of water on your face. You’re not quite used to drinking this much and it caught up to you too fast. You stare at yourself in the mirror, almost not recognizing the woman you see staring back. There's a glow to you that was missing before. That quickly fades as your eyes trail down, turning your face, looking at the red splotches on your cheek, following them down to your neck and chest. You had been brave and worn a halter top and jeans tonight. Now you regret it. The sight of all the burns down your chest, shoulder, and arm are obvious and it makes you want to cry. You used to be attractive, unblemished, beautiful even. And now all you see is a mangled mess.

 Maybe it's the alcohol helping to fuel it but your mood quickly spirals and you begin to sob. As much as you joke around with the guys and act tough, you can't fool yourself. Your insecurities eat you alive. Who could love this ruined version of you? Especially since you found out that the person you thought had loved the old, prettier you, was a liar. Remembering Kenny's betrayal made you cry harder. You sink down to the floor in a full-on drunk girl in the bathroom cry, your head leaning back against the wall. You had been holding all of this in since finding out what had really happened and the pain came pouring out of you. You bring your knees up to your chest, hugging them, and soak the material with your tears. You spend the next several minutes like this when suddenly you hear a knock at the door. 

"Kasper?" You hear Ghost's deep voice say from outside. He almost sounds slightly panicked. "Kasper, are you in there?"

"Go away!" You tell him, putting your face back down into your legs. 

"Open the door." He knocks again, this time a full-on bash with his fist.

"No! Leave me alone," you manage to say between sobs.

"(Y/N) so help me God, I will break this bloody door down." He growls.

Chapter Text

You’re too drunk to keep arguing so you stand up and stumble over to the door, unlocking it and cracking it open just enough to see his eyes.

He pushes it open wider, taking in your tear-stained face and the obvious distress you’re in. He doesn’t say a word, he just steps inside and closes the door behind him, then pulls you into his arms in a tight, almost possessive embrace.

He’s not one for comforting words, but his actions speak for themselves. He holds you close, letting you cry it out, feeling your shuddering sobs against his chest. He doesn’t say anything, he just gently shushes you.

Your sobs gradually subside as the alcohol and exhaustion take their toll. Ghost doesn’t let go though. He just keeps holding you up, his gloved hand gently stroking your hair.

“I’m sorry.” you finally say.

“For what?” he asks.

“For ruining your night.” you sob, tears threatening to start again.

“You didn’t, lass. I just hadn’t seen you in a while and was worried. There’s a lot of people here” he says back.

For whatever reason, the fact that he had been worried about you was enough to cause you to start sobbing again. You slide out of his arms and back onto the floor. Hiding your face in your legs again.

Ghost sighs, and stands there for a moment before sitting down beside you.

“I’m going to murder you for making me sit on the floor of a bloody pub next to a toilet, Kasper,” he says, trying to snap you out of it. “Since I’m down here, do you mind telling me what’s got you so worked up? Did something happen to you out there?”

“No, nothing happened Ghost.”

He’s quiet for a moment, not sure if he should press. 

He goes to touch your arm and you instinctively jerk it away, it’s the one that was burned.

“That’s the problem, how am I ever supposed to move on from all this shit if I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without seeing a reminder. I’m fucking gross.” you sob.

Ghost is quiet for a moment. He doesn’t try and touch you again but he doesn’t move away either.

“You’re not.” He says finally.

You raise your head and look over at him and roll your eyes.

“ I mean it, Kasper. I’ve seen my fair share of scars in this life and you are far from gross.”

You both are quiet for a little longer before he stands up, offering you a hand.

You let him pull you up. “Come on. I’ll get Price, let's just get back to base. Meet us outside in 10 yeah?”

You nod, letting him out of the bathroom. Well, that was embarrassing , you think to yourself. But you’re too drunk to really care. You splash some more water on your face, trying to scrub away the streaks of mascara left behind by your breakdown.

You manage to put on a somewhat composed exterior and stumble outside to meet Ghost and Price. The fresh air and change of surroundings make you feel a bit better.

The ride back to the base is quiet, with the two men occasionally exchanging a few words. You’re grateful for their understanding and the fact they didn’t push you to talk about it. You finally arrive back, and you take your heels off in the truck before getting out. You’re sooo not walking all the way back to your room in them.

Once inside, Price heads to his room on the other side of the building, and Ghost follows you in the direction of your room. Rolling his eyes when you drop at least one shoe, several times on the way.

“Fuck sake, this is the last time you’re getting hammered, Kasper,” he says, only half serious. You miss his amused look behind his mask, you’re too busy trying to remember which door was yours.

Ghost sighs and gently puts a hand on the small of your back and quietly guides you 3 doors past the one you had stopped to try and open. He takes your keys from you, knowing you’ll never be able to unlock it on your own at this point, and lets you into your room, tossing the keys on your desk.

“Get some rest, lass. Sleep it off,” he says.

You groan, toss your heels in the corner, and throw yourself down on your bed face first, embarrassed and so over the night. You’re drunk enough that you’re thankfully asleep within seconds.

Ghost stands there for a few moments longer, watching the rise and fall of your back. A million things running through his head. If the man that caused this hadn’t already been dead, he would have killed him himself. 

He finally turns, leaving the room, making sure the door is locked before heading to his room. Flashes of your face as you open the bathroom door back at the bar dance in his mind, you had looked absolutely beautiful, even with a puffy red, makeup-streaked face. He can still feel the softness of your body pressed against his, the smell of your shampoo lingered on his shirt. Once inside his room, he undressed, balling up the shirt and taking one last smell of it before throwing it on his desk and lying in bed. He knew then that his feelings for you were beyond just being driven by a sense of guilt at how he had treated you when you first arrived. Beyond a simple need to right a wrong he had committed. Nope, this was something else entirely. The self-revelation made him uneasy. He had rules in place for himself for a reason. 

The last time he had mixed with a teammate, it hadn't ended up well. There was a medic a few years back, she had been cute, hungry for action on the field and off. And when he had made it clear that his feelings for her hadn't ran as deep as hers for him, she had gotten sloppy, made a mistake, and was subsequently KIA. He felt bad admitting it to himself but her death never even made him feel the way seeing you cry did. 

I can't do this, he thought, I shouldn't . It wouldn't be fair to you, knowing what you're going through right now. And not with Graves still causing chaos. 

Chapter Text

You woke up the next morning, well more like afternoon, feeling like a truck ran you over.

You let out a loud groan and practically crawl your way into your bathroom, vomiting up the rest of what was left in your stomach. There wasn’t much besides acid and it burned.

Well if this isn’t the consequences of my own actions. 

After praying to the porcelain Gods for a while, you heave yourself off the floor to brush your teeth. Staring into the mirror slams back the memories of last night. Your epic meltdown, Ghost holding you, you getting snot all over his shirt.  

Fuuuuuuuuck my LIFE, I can’t believe I did that.

You try to recall your conversation, your mind losing most of it to the alcohol. You’re frustrated you can’t remember what Ghost had said, just that he had been there for you. Great.. Hopefully it wasn’t too embarrassing.

You get dressed and sit down at your desk, opening your laptop. You really need to figure out what to do with your house in Colorado. No way would you be going back there. And then that leaves the question of what you’re actually going to do with your life now that it’s been essentially turned upside down. You had told Price in the beginning that once this was done, you wanted back out. Now you’re not so sure. You had nothing to go back to but lies. 

Sighing, you scroll through your emails, mainly a bunch of promos and coupons from when you would shop online to pass the time before coming here. One catches your eye though, Price had emailed you the base therapist's contact information late last night. Great, he knew what happened too you now remember. You do appreciate his subtle hint though and promise yourself you’ll give it a try. 

You hear your phone go off.

10:16 am

Keegan:  Raise your hand if you have a hangover 🙋‍♂️

Dial: 🙋‍♂️

Gazaroo: lightweights 

Kasper: 🥴🤮

Keegan: I'll mark that as a yes. Anyone else?

Papa Price: I was DD. Again. So I don't even feel bad for you guys. 

Kasper: Ouch, Pops, rude

Ghost: BTW Soap, your pizza was delivered to my room last night.

Dial: Fuck. I'll come get it.

Ghost: Nah, mate, I ate it.

Gazaroo: lmaoooo Soap you’re an idiot

Dial: you fatass

 You laugh and set down your phone. They’re always arguing about something.  You know you need to eat but the thought of food almost sends you running back to the toilet. Yep, definitely going to be a long day. And you’ve got to teach a class at the range.. Price had roped you into it after watching you with your sniper rifle one day shortly after you had arrived. 

You sighed, pulling your boots on and lacing them up, you’re not in the mood for dealing with recruits today. Well any day really, but especially not with a hangover. You leave your room, swinging by the dining hall to grab some toast and a coffee, and head out towards the range. The fresh air and open space already working wonders providing some relief from your hangover.

The range comes into view and you can see some recruits already there, setting up targets and equipment. You let you a tired sigh. As you approach, the recruits salute you, you return it, hand filled with toast and make your way to the shooting lanes to set down your coffee on a table. Taking a moment to look over their faces, you notice it’s the group with the problem sergeant Simmons in it.

Great, I don’t have the patience for him today

You take a deep breath to steady yourself and finish up your coffee. “Alright, listen up. Today we’re going to focus on accuracy. I expect all of you to pay close attention and follow instructions. If you do not follow instructions we will stay here until you do. And I’ve got all day and night to make it happen.”

You’re met with a few, “Yes, ma’ams.” noticeably not from Simmons or his friends.

“I can’t hear you,” you say louder.

“Yes, MA’AM”

"Better, let's get started shall we?"

You spend the next few hours demonstrating proper shooting stance, walking through the row of recruits, kicking their legs out wider, and fixing their foot placement when necessary. Surprisingly you don’t have many issues, only needing to correct SImmons once on his attitude. He had tried to argue with you about a drop calculation on a longer shot. You were right, he was wrong and he learned it the hard away. Whatever, you’re too hungover.

As the recruits pack up to leave, you dismiss them and head back towards your building. You really need to go talk to Price about everything.

____________________

Later in his office, you’re sitting with your feet propped up on another chair, showing Price some funny tiktoks you had tried to send him before discovering he didn’t even have an account. You help him set one up. “You've got to, this shit’s hilarious, Pops.”

He rolls his eyes at you, “What are you really here for, Kasper. I can tell you're avoiding something.”

You sigh, “Fiiine, I did want to talk to you.” You’re quiet for a second, trying to decide how to start and he sits back letting you work it out in your head.

“I know that when I came with you here, I said that one stipulation I had was that I wanted back out when we were done.”

“You did say that.”

“But now, I’m not so sure. I don’t have anything to go BACK to. I mean, I have my house, which I also need to talk to you about, but I can’t go back there. I can’t be in that place knowing what I know now.” you continue.

Price takes a drag of his cigar and leans forward in his chair, placing his elbows on his desk. “Alright, then what do we need to do? I can speak to Laswell if you’d like, see if we can make this a more permanent thing? Or place you back with your old base, or somewhere new maybe. It depends on what you want to do. I know we’d love to have you stay here.”

You look down at your hands, it’s always hard to hear praise of any kind.

“As for your house, sell it. If that’s what you want. We’ve already moved your jeep here. It doesn’t have to be difficult. I can help find a realtor, and move your things over here into storage. Whatever you need, love.”

You think about that for a bit, you weren’t expecting such a large offer from him and it almost makes you tear up. No one has really ever taken care of you before. Sure, you were really close with your old team but this was different. 

"Yeah, let's do that.. I would like to go back to pack though, some things I just need to grab myself." You quietly say.

"I'll see what I can do, we've got a mission later this week, and depending on how that goes, maybe I can give you a week or two to work it out. Graves has totally gone under the radar again after we grabbed that intel."

You nod, sensing his frustration, feeling the same. You want nothing more than to destroy him and his entire Shadow Company.

“Speaking of our next mission, I haven’t told the boys yet but I’ll tell you. I’m bringing a medic onto the team. I have a feeling we are going to need one in the coming months and it’s better to get them settled now. They should be here tomorrow so be back here at 8 am.”

“Yes, sir,” you say. “That’s probably smart, I’ve heard how much Soap likes getting blown up and almost killed.”

He laughs loudly, “That bugger does have more close calls than he should. I still can’t figure out why.” 

“He’s got that fat head and nothing inside of it. Shame.” you say, getting up to leave. “Thanks Pops, I appreciate your help.”

He just nods and waves you off as you walk out the door, his phone had started ringing and you hear him answer as you shut the door behind you.

You head to get some dinner, already feeling lighter. Price was right, you could just simply sell the house. And his offer to stay here wasn’t taken lightly. It had meant the world to you that you had proven yourself to be a part of this team. Especially with all the shit you had to go through with Ghost. You grab your food, taking it to your room, wanting some peace and quiet after the busy few nights you’d had. 

After scrolling tiktok for hours, sending Soap a bunch of cat videos you know he likes, you make sure your alarm is turned back on and drift off to sleep.

Chapter Text

You wake up to your alarm the next morning, get dressed, and run to grab a muffin from the dining hall. Soon, you're sitting in Price's office with rest of the guys on your team, waiting for him. 

"What do you think this is about?" Soap asks Ghost.

"Damned if I know, lad." He answers, distracted with something on his phone. He hasn't said anything to you since that night at the bar and he hasn't even looked at you this morning. Well this is awkward.. you think to yourself, but you stay quiet. 

Moments later, Price walks in and a tall, gorgeous woman strolls in behind him, giggling at some joke he must've made. She's dressed in civilian clothing, a tight pair of jeans and artfully ripped up band tshirt. Her arms covered in full sleeves of tattoos. Her perfect face is framed with long black hair and her pouty mouth sports some bright red lipstick. She's a fucking knockout. 

You slink lower in your chair as you feel Soap sit up straight in his, taking in the woman before him. Out of the corner of your eye you see Ghost do a quick double take, finally looking up from his phone. His eyes flick to yours with an unreadable expression. 

“This is Sargent Emma Thompson, I’ve asked her to come on as a medic with us.” Price starts.

“Everyone calls me Angel.” She says, exuding charm with her sultry voice. “Thanks for having me.”

Price continues, “Angel, this is Gaz, Soap, Kasper and Ghost.” 

Her eyes pass over everyone but you see that they land on Ghost, you can tell she likes what she sees. She shoots him a look that would make any man melt.

He speaks up, “Welcome Angel.” 

You’re immediately pissed. What the fuck, when he met you, he had thrown an absolute hissy fit. But now he wants to play nice? Wow ok.

“Hi” you manage to say in your friendliest of tones, and you give her a small wave.

Soap and Ghost exchange looks and it makes you uncomfortable. You shouldn’t be jealous. You have no right to be. It’s not their fault she’s gorgeous. And it’s not like the guys are anything more than team mates.

You zone out over the next few minutes, tuning out their conversations, wanting to be anywhere than where you are right now. She had taken a seat right next to Ghost and you were trying your best to ignore her flirtatious interactions with him.

Price’s voice draws you back into the conversation as he briefs the team on your upcoming mission. You’ll all be heading out in 2 days, doing another intel run like you had before, this time though you were on sniper duty, something you were looking forward to.

The meeting draws to an end and you can’t get out of there fast enough. Heading straight to the training room, you decide you need to blow off some steam. You walk straight to one of the dummies and start punching it repeatedly. The room quiets down, as some people stop what they’re doing to stare at you. You ignore them though, you’re too far lost in your own mind to care. After a while, you’ve exhausted yourself to the point where you can barely lift your arms anymore. You grab a towel, wiping the sweat of your face and let your hair down out of its ruined bun. 

You sit for a minute then notice Soap walking in, followed by Ghost and then Angel. Great, time to get the fuck out of here. You walk past them, nodding at Soap as he looks at you with wide eyes, you gently knock into Ghosts arm as you walk by but he doesn’t turn to look at you. You ignore Angel completely. At the moment you just don’t care. It’s not like you to get so worked up, and maybe its just a combination of recent events. Finding out about Kenny, getting closer with Ghost and the whole team, him totally ignoring you the last few days after what happened at the bar. It’s too much. 

_________

Ghost isn’t stupid, he knows he’s been a jerk to you since the night at the bar. He had thought a lot about that night despite trying to desperately get you off his mind. He knew he wouldn’t be ok if he got close with you and something had happened. He couldn’t bear it. If you got hurt on a mission, he couldn’t promise himself he wouldn’t lose control. So he forced himself to keep a distance. Knowing that everyone he has even gotten close to, he’s lost. He wouldn’t lose you. Even if that meant denying his feelings for you. And when Angel showed up, he had leaned in to the distraction on purpose. She was attractive, sure, but he could tell that she was like all the other girls that had come and went.. She tried too hard and it was immediately annoying. During the meeting in Price’s office, she had touched his wrist a few times, laughing too hard at something he said to Soap. It bothered him, but instead of yanking his arm away, he let it happen. He knew he shouldn’t but it was a way he thought he could keep you safe. Keep himself safe. She was a convenient, easy distraction. When you brushed past him leaving the training room, it was shame that kept him from meeting your eyes, not indifference. Maybe if you hated him, it would be easier to go back to how it was before you walked in and turned his life upside down. Maybe.

Chapter Text

The next few days go by quietly. You stay mostly to yourself. Keegan has been gone on a mission since the night at the bar. The guys have been busy training recruits, you find out that you’re actually bringing a few of them along with you on this mission. Simmons is included in that group, probably so that Price can keep an eye on him you assume. You would be gone a few days this time and he couldn’t be trusted here without a proper babysitter. You didn’t know how he was still here but it wasn’t up to you to challenge him, you trusted Price’s decisions. 

You spend the rest of the evening packing up what you’ll need for the mission, making sure you have all your necessities. You had spent time earlier in the day cleaning your sniper rifle in the armory. Breaking it down and oiling it was a way to relieve stress, the methodical process helping to numb your brain. Soap had texted you asking you if you were alright after being absent from the group chat, but you didn’t answer him then either. You knew it was childish, but you just wanted to get this mission over with. Your footing in the group seemed to be faltering. Maybe it was in your head, brought on by your own stupid jealousy of Angel but as mature as you were, you were still a woman. Comparing yourself to her was like comparing a child's drawing to a Rembrandt. It just didn’t compute.

______________

The next afternoon, you finally walked to the transport plane on the tarmac. Stepping inside, throwing your bags down, you look around and see that Ghost is already here with Angel seated next to him, touching his arm and laughing. Throwing her head back and making a show out of it.

You find a seat on the opposite side and Soap sits down next to you. Once everyone is settled, you take off and listen to Price run down the mission again. When he’s done, you busy yourself gently tightening the straps on your gear, looking over your rifle again. You can’t talk much, it’s loud in there. You see Simmons casting glares your way, he’s still upset about what happened in the training room a while back. You ignore it, choosing not to feed into his immaturity. You feel Soap squeeze your knee and glance over at him. He’s signaling to check your phone so you do.

Dial: You ok? Haven’t seen you since you beat the shit out of that training dummy.

You sigh and give him a sideways glance.

Kasper: I’m fine. 

Dial: Don’t look fine.

Kasper: Thanks for reminding me.

DIal: Not what I meant, bonnie.

You shut the sceen of your phone off. Not wanting to get into it any further but he keeps pushing and nudges your ribs.

Dial: Is it Ghost?

Kasper: No

Dial: Liar

Kasper: Shut up

Dial: He’s just being Ghost, he’s an idiot.

Kasper: Dont’ know what you’re referring to

Dial: Yes you do.

Kasper: Suck my dick

Dial: Vile lol there’s my bon.

You look over at him again and roll your eyes.

Kasper: It’s complicated

Dial: Always is.

You put your phone away, avoiding looking across the row at Ghost and failing, he’s strapping Angel's parachute on while she giggles. As if she couldn’t do it herself. You roll your eyes again. They’re going to fall right out of your head and roll down the middle of the plane at this rate.

You finally get closer to where you're dropping in and setting up camp. You make sure all your bags and gear are strapped securely to you. You take a minute to help Soap paint his eyeblack on. He always messes it up with his fat fingers. You stop yourself from drawing a dick, barely. It would be funny though.

Simmons watches your interaction quietly. He’s young and he’s jealous of everyone's connection with you. He isn’t sure why you’re more accepted into the group than he is and it pisses him off. You had gotten the best of him by luck and had tried to embarrass him. Not to mention he was pretty sure that Ghost had let you win during your sparring match just so he could get into your good graces and fuck you. He had heard that you were a barracks bunny from a few guys. Everything about you just pissed him right off. He had half a mind to try and fuck you himself just to say he did. As he gathered up his gear, he clenched his jaw and waited for the time to jump out.

Chapter Text

A little while later you're all on the ground setting up camp. It doesn't take long, everyone quietly knowing what to do. You're several kilometers from the building you've targeted but all of you are very aware of the patrols that could be in the area. So you keep quiet. Everyone would be sleeping two to a single-man tent, taking turns on watch though so it would work out. You light a small fire, taking advantage of the sunset to silently eat some hot dinner before you'd have to put it out at dark. You see Price sitting with the other new recruit that came along with Simmons. He seems to be more capable than the other but you still have your doubts. Both of their ages showed through in their immaturity. Hopefully it wouldn't be an issue here. You were already on edge after Simmons had joked that you could share his tent with him earlier, nudging his buddy in the ribs. Ghost had heard the comment, having tuned Angel out hours ago. She talked way too fucking much. But he had kept his mouth shut, this wasn't the place, they had to stay focused on the mission. Angel was sitting entirely too close to him while they ate and he noticed Soap shaking his head at them when she would reach over and find some excuse to touch him. He almost lost it when she tried reaching up to touch his face. Why she thought that was appropriate was beyond him. Ghost had also noticed the way she would lean into him more when you looked over, which wasn't often. But he knew what she was doing, staking her claim. And the fact that you were letting her was making Angel more and more bold. 

It came time to put the fire out, half the group taking watch, the other half getting what sleep they could for the next few hours. You were sharing a tent with Soap and taking watch first so you borrowed his M4 and took up post on the outskirts of camp. You flipped down your night vision goggles and listened to the sounds of the forest. It was something you missed. The way you could hear animals scurrying around in the dark, either hunting or becoming the hunted. It was the way of the world, you sat there and thought. You weren't much different. 

After a short while, you heard footsteps behind you. You whipped your head around then saw that it was Angel.

She took a seat next to you on the fallen log you've been sitting on. 

"Hey, we haven't gotten a chance to talk, just thought I'd come over and say hello." She almost purred.

"Yeah I've been busy with some personal stuff back home." You answer, trying to hide your irritation.

"Oh, like family?" She presses.

"No, no family." You say

"Why not?" She asks.

"Because I don't have one." You answer, just about reaching the boiling point. You know what she's doing and it makes you mad.

"Ghost said your old team died." She says, not really as a question.

"Yep." 

"So.. what's up with you and Ghost." She asks. 

There it is. Her shitty attempts to act interested in you finally revealing what she really wanted to talk about.

"Nothing." You answer simply.

It's the truth, you may have shared a moment or two together but for all you know, it could've all been one-sided in your head. And after the way he's been acting this week, you're sure it was.

"So you don't mind then.. if-"

"No." You interrupt her. "Do what you feel you need to Angel. It's not my business."

She clicks her tongue and stands up, "You don't have to be a bitch about it, I was being nice."

You don't say anything and she walks off. Well that was fun.  It feels stupid to even have to have this conversation and you're yet again embarrassed that anyone noticed something was up with you. Either way, whatever, it's time to switch with Soap and get some rest.

Early in the morning, everyone's up and busy packing up camp. You all make sure that all the larger gear is stashed away in the brush and hidden. Your job is to go with Simmons up the backside of a cliff overlooking the building, take out members of the Shadow company as needed and provide cover.

You start the long hike and a few hours in, it's time to split, taking Simmons with you. It makes you uncomfortable but it beats being near Ghost and Angel, her boldness with him even more apparent after your talk last night. Soaps already taking bets with Gaz as to how long it takes for him to snap. Even they're annoyed with it and it makes you feel a little better. 

Once you split from the group with Simmons, you take point and navigate your way to the top of the cliff. You reach your mark and quickly set up. 

"Eagle-01 in position." You say on comms. 

"Affirmative. Reaching target in 10" Price returns.

You take a deep breath and look through your scope, seeing 3 lookouts on the roof. You don't take a shot yet. With years of training you know you need to wait for the other group to reach their places. The importance of synchronizing with the rest of the team was crucial. Minutes feel like hours as you track the movements of the three lookouts on the roof. You silently count down the seconds.

Finally you Price’s voice over comms, “Eagle-01, prepare to engage.:

The moment has come. You take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and align your crosshairs on the first lookout. Your finger rests on the trigger, ready to squeeze it at the right time.

“Engaging in 3, 2, 1.” Price counts down.

As he reaches one, you smoothly squeeze the trigger, and your shot rings out. The lookout crumples to the roof, lifeless. You quickly switch targets, acquiring the second lookout in your crosshairs.

Simultaneously, the rest of your team begins their assault on the building. The sounds of gunfire, explosions and chaos fill the air, even from where you’re lying. This diversion provides you with the opportunity you need to eliminate the second lookout without drawing attention to your position.

You pull the trigger, once more, and your shot finds its mark. He slumps over, leaving only one more left on the roof.

Price’s voice voice comes through over comms again. “Moving in, keep suppressive fire.”

You adjust your scope to maintain a clear line of sight on the remaining lookout. Your shots land around the target, keeping their head down, preventing them from signaling to anyone.

Your team continues their assault, making their way to the door of the building. You can see the chaos unfolding below, but your focus remains solely on the last lookout. You hear Simmons starting to whine next to you. “Just let me shoot him, stop fucking around,” he says

You ignore him and with precision, you eliminate the final threat. The roof is now clear and the rest of your team can move without worry.

You hear Price again, “Eagle-01, nice work. Move in and support the team inside.”

You acknowledge the order and begin your descent from the cliff, eager to join your team in the building. Simmons continues to bitch as he trails behind you. “What the fuck am I even here for if you won't even let me take a shot.” He snarls at you.

“You're backup shot. Not my fault I don’t miss.” You throw back at him, causing him to fume.

“This is fucking stupid.” you hear him say. 

You don’t have the time to argue with him, you reach the building and run inside, quickly meeting up with the rest of the team. You pull out your handgun, eliminating a few Shadow Company men on your way down the hall. You start looking for their command center and quickly find it, grabbing all the intel you can and shoving it into a bag attached to your hip. Just when you finish, you hear a shot ring out, then several more. Next thing you know, Price pops inside of the room with a look on his face that makes your blood run cold, “Got everything? We need to move, Soaps been hurt.”

“Yes sir.” You answer and start running towards him, following him through the hallway and back into the open. There’s chaos all around you, the firefight between your team and the Shadow Company intensifying. More of them had shown up outside, having been totally hidden in the forest. You and Ghost take out more of the men who had attempted to ambush you, while Price is laser-focused on getting Soap to safety. You maintain your position and take out any threats in your line of sight, ensuring that the rest of the team can get to the forest’s edge. You can hear Price on comms calling for the exfil chopper to meet them at a closer location. Finally finding an opportunity, you leave your position and catch up to the others. 

You look down at Soap and see that he’s unconscious. Your heart about falls out of your chest and you look up at Ghost who’s walking on the other side of him. You meet eyes, his filled with a matching worry.

As soon as you get far enough away, Gaz and Price lay Soap down in the dirt and Angel gets to work on him, ripping off his vest and cutting his shirt open revealing the gunshot wound to his stomach. You sit there and watch her work, hoping it’ll be enough to save him. You can’t lose another person that’s important to you. 

“Ten minutes until exfil, Angel.” Price says.

You take a few steps away to distance yourself, sinking to the ground on all fours as the adrenaline leaves your body. Flashes of what happened with your team go through your mind. You try to pull yourself out of it but you can’t, you’re barely hanging on. You feel a hand on your back and vaguely see that it's Ghost. You shake it off. 

“Don’t fucking touch me.” you snarl at him.

He pulls his hand back immediately and takes a few steps back, his eyes widening.

Angel continues to work on Soap with Price and SImmons keeping a watchful eye through the trees, ready to provide cover if needed. You’re not far enough away to really be safe and it’s a dangerous situation to be in.

After your outburst, you take a few deep breaths and try to regain your composure. You can’t let your emotions get the best of you right now. The mission isn’t over yet and you know the Shadow Company is close.

You hear Price, “Five minutes, we need to move.”

You force yourself to stand, pushing aside everything else and finding strength. Walking back to the group, you keep your eyes down, not looking at Ghost or any of the others. The minutes feel like an eternity as you move further from the building, trying to create as much space as you can between your team and the Shadow company.

The chopper touches down and the team quickly boards, carrying Soap with them. Once you sit down, you look him over again and see that he’s starting to wake up. 

“Fucking hell,” He groans. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding.

Chapter Text

You remove your gear, throwing your vest to the side, desperate to get its weight off of you. You run your hands through your hair, yanking out the hair tie and letting it fall down around your shoulders. Gaz and you lock eyes, he looks worse off than you. You just give him a nod that he returns, you both know that this was a closer call than anyone is comfortable with. Next to Gaz, Simmons has a smug look on his face and you want to slap it right off of him. He’s gotten increasingly disrespectful during the mission and you make a mental note to speak with Price about it later, now isn’t the time. Angel is still holding her hands on Soap’s stomach, covered in blood, trying to keep him stable. You’ve still got a while before you get to base. You hang your head between your legs and try to keep from passing out. Ghost sits down next to you in the only remaining seat, removing his hard skull mask, and leaving his balaclava. You can feel him staring down at you. 

“Sorry I yelled at you.” you say softly to him.

He doesn’t say anything, he just looks away. And that hurts even more. 

Once you land, Soap is quickly removed from the plane and taken into surgery. You hang back with almost everyone, Simmons and the other recruit had immediately went to their rooms. Good riddance. The minutes are long and you're exhausted, you end up accidentally falling asleep against Price’s shoulder. He doesn’t mind, if anything he’s starting to think of you as the daughter he never had. He’s constantly amazed by your strength and resilience and proud of what you’ve brought to the team, and what you’ve done for them without even realizing it. They had been in shambles before your arrival, growing apart, bickering more than ever. Now everything has been like it was before, your general happiness and playful banter being the missing piece he didn’t know they needed. 

The wait for the news about Soap feels like an eternity. Everyone is on edge, Gas is pacing unable to sit still. Ghost is staring at the wall, Angel is curled up on the bench next to him laying her head in his lap. He barely registers it though. His mind is somewhere else. 

When the doctor finally comes out to update the team, Price gently shakes you awake and you’re immediately alert. The doctor explains that his condition is stable, but he’ll need some time to recover. The bullet had done some severe damage to his stomach, but he was lucky, it had missed his spine by millimeters. Relief washes over the group and Price tells everyone to go home and get some rest. He leaves the room, following the doctor back to spend the night with Soap. Once he’s gone, you see  Angel curled up in Ghost’s lap and you head out of the room without a word. 

____________

It’s been a week since Soap was shot. He’s finally out of the medical ward, they released him early, pretty sure because of his constant begging and whining. He hated being in there. You had visited him every day, checking in with him and hanging out for a while, usually until Ghost walked in, then you’d leave. Things were still awkward with him, you couldn't figure out what you had done to make him treat you this way. You thought that you both had formed some sort of bond, but you guessed not. You hated that you even cared so much. Soap brought it up a few times when you would visit. He could tell before the mission that something had happened. 

“What’s the deal Bonnie, I’ve never seen you this quiet.” He had asked a few days after the mission while the two of you played a card game to pass the time.

“Fuck if I know. It’s like a switch in him flipped. And fuck me for even caring.” you replied.

“I’ve never seen him this way.” he said.

“What do you mean?” you ask, confused.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Angel is fucking annoying. Why he’s giving her any attention is beyond me. It’s not like him at all. Maybe you need to just sit down and talk with him.” He said.

“I started to, but he’s totally closed off.”

“Not our boy Ghost, he’s an open book” He jokes.

You gave him some major side eye and just laughed.

“You like him don’t you, bonnie.”

“I’ll cut you.”

“Ahh, you do then. How fitting, Ghost and Kasper the friendly ghost. Fitting, lass.”

“I’ll tell the doctor to keep you here an extra week if you don’t shut the fuck up right now.”

“Oh, you’ve got it bad bad. What was it, his charm and wit,? The mask? I bet that was it, drives the ladies wild” he joked.

“I hate you.” 

Ghost had shown up in that moment and you had rushed out of there, Soap laughing behind you.

____________

As Price promised, you spoke about your return to Colorado to pack your things. He ended up being able to work out a week of leave for you, none of the intel you had secured in the last mission had held the answers to Graves's current location. The night before you were going to leave, Keegan had forced you to come out to the bar. 

9:09 PM

Keegan : Get your ass to the bar tonight loser.

Kasper : I shouldn't, I have to be on my flight at 8 am. Me+hangover+plane= DISASTER

Keegan : Stop being a pussy, everyone is here except Soap bc he’s lame and taking pain pills.

Kasper : Fine but I’m not drinking.

Keegan : Good, you can take me home.

Keegan : Not like that.

Keegan : I mean unless you want to

Kasper : Smooth, omw

You show up 20 minutes later and make your way inside. It’s loud, as usual, and you spot Keegan at a table with the rest of the group. Gaz and Price are playing pool off to the side. And of course, Angel sitting right on Ghost’s lap. She gives you a sly smile from behind his head and leans in to whisper something in his ear. You see him quickly turn his head to you and you can see a flicker of something in his eyes before they go blank again. You had caught him leaving her room the night before, shirt half tucked in, a guilty look in his eyes. They had fucked, you were sure of it.

“Look who decided to grace us with her presence tonight!” He laughs.

You take an animated fake bow. “Only because you practically begged me, Keegs.”

He laughs, “Alright, alright, no need to spill my secrets.”

“Hi, Kasper.” Angel says, leaning further into Ghost’s side.

“Hey, how's it going?” you manage, determined not to let whatever this is get to you,

“Amazing… Ghost was just telling me he would give me some sparring lessons” she purrs. 

It takes everything in you not to roll your eyes. “Is that so? That's awfully nice of him."

She giggles and tucks her face into his neck, Ghost stares at you, his expression unreadable. "She needs it if we have another mission like the last." He says monotonely as if trying to explain himself. 

"Why is your face all fucked up?" Angel suddenly asks, turning back to you. Ghost stiffens every so slightly and clears his throat.

"Got into an argument with a molotov." You say dryly.

"How does that even happen?" she asks like an idiot.

"Want me to show y-"

“-Come play some darts, Kas.” Keegan says before you can finish. You keep staring at Angel for a few seconds before turning to Keegan.

“Oh come on, you know that’s like the one bar game I totally suck at.”

“I promise I’ll go easy, come oonnnn.” he begs.

“ You sure whine a lot for a grown man, you know that right?” you laugh, shaking off Angel's question. You hear Ghost quietly chuckle.

The two of you head towards the back of the bar, Keegan grabbing the darts and handing you yours.

"I thought you were going to punch her, I can't believe she would just ask that. Plus your face isn't fucked up." He says quietly. You don't know what to say back so you just nod and wait for him to start. 

Keegan goes first and lands a dart right next to the bullseye.

“Show off,” you mutter as you line up to take your shot. You throw it and it just clatters away, not even sticking to the board. “Ugh fuck, I told you I suck.”

“You’ve got your stance all wrong, Kas. Here let me show you.” He says, coming up behind you. He presses his body into your back, wrapping one arm around your waist and grabbing the hand that’s holding a dart with his other. He’s much taller than you so he has to bend down a bit. “You’re too tense, relax a bit,” he says into your ear, nearly brushing it with his mask-covered mouth. His deep voice in your ear does anything but make you relax and you uncontrollably lean back into his chest. His hand goes to your hip, turning you slightly, he takes a leg and puts it in between yours spreading your legs apart further. “Just like that,” he says.

“You’re not going to be much of a help if you keep doing that, you know,” you tell him before you can even stop yourself. 

He stills for a second, like he wasn’t expecting anything like that from you, then tightens his grip on your hip and you lean back even further into him. You throw the dart again, this time it hits the targets near the edge of the circles.

“Good girl, much better.” He steps away from you, leaving you a bit unsteady on your feet, and goes to collect the darts from the board. “Watch and learn as the pro shows you how it’s done.”

You admire the view as he leans to take his shot, unable to keep a smile from your face. It’s not like you’ve been blind the whole time you’ve been here. Keegan is sexy, with a confidence that shows he knows it. You’ve always flirted back and forth but you’d assumed since he did that with everyone, that there was nothing behind it. You don't know whether it's his mask, his playfulness, or the fact that he's clearly making a move and you haven't been laid in over a year, but you can't help yourself. Fuck it. You tell yourself, why not? 

Keegan throws his dart and lands it in the bullseye. You loudly cheer for him, and as he hands you your next dart, you let your hand linger on his, staring up into his eyes. “Show me again how to stand.” 

Keegan stares you down, keeping his eyes on yours as he circles behind you, tracing your hips with his hands and pulling you in tight to his center as you line up to take your next shot. You purposefully drop the dart, leaning down to pick up it with his hands still on your hips. As you stand back up, you look over your shoulder at him. “Oops, I’m so clumsy Keegs, sorry”

“Fuuuuck Kas.” he groans. “You can’t do that shit.”

“Why not?

“You’re killing me here.” His growing hardness is evident against your ass and you roll your hips back subtly, eliciting a rough groan. “If you don’t stop, I’m not going to be able to.”

You turn in his arms and run a finger down his chest, aware that Ghost is now staring at you both. Good, let him watch. “What if I don’t want to stop?”

Keegan still has a hold of your hips and he suddenly picks you up and throws you over his shoulder. The man’s had enough. He's wanted you for too long, never wanting to cross a professional boundary but that's totally out the window. He had just been pushing the limit like he usually did, not expecting you to return it. It drove him wild. He carries you out to your car while you giggle the whole way playfully smacking his ass as he walks. “Let me down!”

Once you reach your jeep he sets you down, pointing to the driver's seat. “Get in.” he walks around to the other side and slides into the seat next to you. Thank God the base is close, you keep catching him adjusting himself in the seat as you race there. 

You park the jeep and get out, and he walks around and picks you up again like a fucking caveman “You asked for it, Kas. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He half jogs until he reaches your room, it's closer than his. He turns around and bends down so you can unlock it with your keys while he’s still hanging you over his shoulder.

You finally manage to open the door and he strides over, dropping you on your bed before backing up and locking your door.

He stalks towards you with a predatory gleam in his eye and rips off his mask. His chiseled features illicit a small gasp from your lips. Leaning down, he plants a scorching kiss along your scarred neck and collarbone. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispers. His calloused fingers trace a maddening path down your curves, setting your body aflame. You arch into his touch with a needy moan, begging for more. His mouth silences your pleas with a deep, demanding kiss that steals your breath. When you surface, he smirks down at you. "Shut up, you're still annoying." You joke.

You sit up, letting him remove your shirt. You grab at the hem of his, yanking it over his head and tossing it aside. His eyes darken and he moves to the foot of your bed and kneels, slowly unlacing your boots and gently taking them off, never breaking eye contact with you. 

He cocks his head, “God damn you look so fucking perfect, Kas. I wonder if you’re already wet for me. Should I find out?” he starts pulling off your leggings, one leg at a time, drawing it out and driving you insane. 

Oh shit, he's a talker.

You whimper and press your legs together, desperate for his touch as he stands there staring down at you. A smug smile crawled across his lips. “Use your words, baby.”

“Fuck.. I am.” you groan. 

He grabs your shins spreading your legs open and shoving them up higher “Just as I thought.. You’re already fucking soaked. Bad girl."  his fingers tease your inner thighs, circling their way closer until finally they delve into your center and your back arches with pleasure. He slowly pumps in and out with a slow, practiced precision. Whimpers escape your lips, urging him deeper. “You dirty girl,” he growls, crooking his fingers to stroke that most perfect spot deep inside you. ‘Come for me baby, I wanna feel you clench around my hand.” His velvet voice wraps around you. When he dips his head down, using his teeth to tease your clit, it sends you over the edge. Your hips buck as you explode around his fingers and he laps up every drop of your juices. Only when you relax does he remove them, putting them both in his mouth and groaning as he licks them clean. “Delicious.”

Jeeeeesus

He climbs up between your legs and roughly kisses you, you can taste yourself on his tongue. “You think you’re ready for this?" He asks "I can't promise I'll be gentle." You look him right in the eyes. “Don’t be..” 

He can barely control himself, he grabs his length and runs it up and down your slit, getting it wet, then he takes a breath, before slamming his length into you. Your nails rake his back and your eyes roll back in your head. He’s fucking huge, you can barely take him all. He pumps at a frantic pace, unable to slow himself. "Look at you, taking me so well." You feel one of his hands snaking up between your breasts to your neck, wrapping a hand firmly around and squeezing with just enough pressure to make you see stars. That coupled with his punishing pace sets you off again as you explode around him. “Oh my God.. Keegan.” Hearing his name sends him into his own release. It had snuck up on him so fast he didn’t even have time to pull out. He still tries, spilling out onto himself and your thighs “Shit, didn’t mean to finish in you.”

“Birth control don’t worry.” you giggle, his tone much different just now than it was before and it was so cute. You get up, grabbing a towel and wiping yourself before tossing it at him. He cleans up and you steal his shirt, slipping it on While he puts his pants back on. He raises an eyebrow at you "What? All my shit's packed?" you say.

"You're really going to make me do a full-on walk of shame huh?" He laughs, running a hand through his hair before slipping his mask back on. 

"Yup" you pop the "p" on the end. 

“I fucking hate you,” he says, wagging his finger at you as he opens your door.

“Hate you tooo.”

Chapter Text

You leave bright and early the next day, driving yourself to the airport. It's a beautiful morning out and you're still deliciously sore. Sex with Keegan was aaaaamazing but you hoped it didn't fuck up your friendship. You don't regret it though, you needed that to clear your head. As you make your way towards the airport you crank your music and relax, letting your mind go blank. 

You get there and park, grabbing your bag and you walk towards the main desks. After checking in, making it through security, and finding a seat at your terminal you pull out your phone.

Dial: You guys suck for going out without me. I thought you all loved me.

Keegs: Stop getting shot dumbass.

Dial: I wasn't trying to Keegan

Kasper: Wasn't the same w/o you. 

Dial: Thanks

Kasper: It was more fun. 🤣

Keegs: 💀💀💀

Dial: 😭 you had me in the first half. Ngl

PapaPrice: 🤣 have a good flight Kasper, let us know when you land.

Kasper:  🫡 Aye-aye Cap'n. 

Ghost: What flight?

Keegan: Oh so you CAN text, you've just been ignoring everyone.

Gazeroo: She's going home mate, where have you been?

Bitch: For good?

You sigh and put down your phone. Turning it on silent. You don't need to text anything you'll regret. You spend the next half hour catching up on a book you had started months ago until it was time to board. You thank yourself for splurging and getting a first-class seat. You've learned your lesson several times over flying on civilian planes. You get settled and grab a water from the flight attendant, putting your phone on airplane mode, ignoring all of the notifications.

The flight is long, but not terribly uncomfortable. You read a bit more, nap off and on, and just look out the window. Really just enjoying the change of pace. You think about the past few weeks and how much of a roller coaster your life has turned into. Honestly, everything has just been a mess. Not bad, but not great either. At least you get to go home and collect the things important to you and say goodbye to your house for the last time. You need to get your parent's belongings yourself. They’re things you’ve carted from storage unit to storage unit throughout your years in the military before finally finding what was supposed to be a more permanent home. Guess not. It makes you sad, some days you wish you would have just chosen a regular career path, a simple 9-5 job, a home you could go back to every day, maybe even a husband and kids by now. But would you have been happy? Maybe. Maybe not. Doesn’t matter at this point, you’ve chosen your path, however screwed up it might be.

Arriving finally in Colorado, you grab your carry-on bag and head to the rental car line. It’s going to be a long drive to your place high up in the mountains. 

Once in the car, you take your phone off airplane mode and plug it into the charger. It of course begins buzzing erratically, trying to process a million things at once. It hasn’t even been able to switch time zones right so the poor thing is struggling. Same. You quickly swipe out of everything, choosing to just text Price that you’ve made it. Throwing it into the seat next to you, you pull out of the parking garage and make your way to your house.

As you make your way from the airport, the familiar Colorado landscape surrounds you. The mountains, the evergreen trees, the clear blue skies - it’s a stark contrast to many of the places you’ve traveled to in your career. Despite the chaotic nature of your life that you love, this serene environment still feels like home. 

The drive up the winding mountain roads is both familiar and bittersweet. As you approach your cabin, nestled among the tall pines, you feel a mix of emotions. It had been your safe haven a place where you’d come to heal, grieve, and collect the fragments of your life. And now you had to leave it behind.

Once you pull into the driveway and turn off the engine, silence envelops you. You sit for a moment, taking in the serenity of the place. It’s strange how somewhere can feel so peaceful and yet so empty at the same time. Gathering your resolve, you step out of the car and walk up to your front door. As you unlock it and push it open, the scent of the familiar wooden interior washes over you. It’s a comforting smell, a reminder of the brief amount of solace you’d found here.

Worn out from your flight, you throw your bag on the coffee table and flop down on the couch. Jet lag is a bitch. You quickly fall asleep and wake up several hours later, disoriented and groggy. The dim light filtering through the cabin’s curtains tells you it’s late evening. You don’t even remember drifting off, but your body must have needed the rest.

After shaking off the sleepiness, you pick up your phone, having neglected it since you took off on the plane. Wow, you laugh to yourself, it’s almost like they missed you.

Dial: No, not for good Angel. 😒

Gazaroo: wtf

PapaPrice: Angel, come to my office.

Keegs: Ope 😂

You scroll through the rest, and close out opening Keegans next.

Keegs: Hope you made it safe, have a good trip.

Keegs: OMG LMAOOO OMG, Angel got yelled at by Price and it was hilarious 💀💀💀

Keegs: She was so mad. Everyone laughed. I wish I would've taken a video omg 🪦

Keegs: Also, we still good?

Keegs: Like I don't want to ruin our hateship or anything.

Keegs: ugh just answer 😑

Keegs: You're pussy tastes amazing, I regret washing my face. Ok I'm done. Fucking loser. There I feel better.

You laugh and finally reply.

Kasper: Nah we good lol stop being such a little girl lmao

Kasper: You do got some dick game though ngl

You freeze as you see texts from Ghost.

Ghost: Why did no one tell me you were leaving?

Ghost: Nevermind, not my business

Ghost: Price said you made it OK

Ghost: So that's good.

Ghost: Did you fuck Keegan? 

Ghost: Nevermind don't answer that.

Ghost: Iff youu did thoujs I unwrstamd 

Ghost: Fckk I msksllll mis ya

Ghost: Bloplody hellk love

You close out without answering

There's also a ton of missed calls from everyone including one from Ghost around 3am the base's time. 

What the fuck . 

There's a voice-mail from him too but you don't have it in you to listen to it. How dare he do this. Everything was fine until HE fucked it up and pushed you away. He's got some nerve.

You throw your phone down and take a look around your living room. Everything is just as you left it, now coated in a heavy layer of dust. You had hired some cleaners that were supposed to be here tomorrow but you feel guilty so you grab what cleaning supplies you left here and dig in. You methodically dust the main rooms, sweep all the floors, and shake the rugs outside. It’s mind-numbing work and exactly what you need to clear your head.

Hours pass and your cabin begins to regain the welcoming atmosphere it once had. You take a break, sipping a glass of water and go sit out on your back porch. You’ve missed this view. Regardless of what fantasy had driven you to purchase this place, you had absolutely nailed it.

Chapter Text

Ghost sits in Price's office the evening you left. His mask ripped off and discarded on the desk, face down in his hands.

“Simon..” Price starts 

“ I know, John.” he interrupts, rubbing his face and smearing his eyeblack. “Bloody hell.”

“Why are you doing this to yourself, Si?" Price asks.

“Bit of a mess innit?” Ghost gruff’s out.

“I’ve known you a long time Simon. This? This isn’t you. I know you know that deep inside your thick skull. What’s your plan here, huh? Make yourself miserable because you think it’s what you deserve? Live the rest of your life crushed under the weight of it? For what? Why?” Price shakes his head.

“BECAUSE, JOHN, THIS IS WHAT I DESERVE! I’m a fucked up, legally dead, cold blooded, piece of shite. There’s NOTHING good in me John. Not one bloody bit… Not one.” he shouts, standing up and pacing with his chest heaving. “This is all there is for me. There’s no happy endings, no fairytales. Just this.”

Price watches his outburst, he’s seen Ghost go through some dark times before, but this is a new low. “Simon, I know you’ve done things in your past that you’re not proud of,” he begins, choosing his words carefully. “But I've also seen you do great things. You lead this team, you make sacrifices for others, you might not think I see it but I do. You’re the best man that I have. My closest friend. You can’t keep living in the shadows of your past. It’s eating you alive mate.”

Ghost runs a frustrated hand through his hair, his breathing beginning to calm.

“I can’t John, I can’t give myself the luxury of redemption or god forbid actual happiness. Every time I’ve tried it’s slipped through my fingers.” he says, his shaky voice laced with bitterness.

“You have to let go. You’ve got to move forward. Holding onto all of this isn’t going to change anything. Sleeping with Angel, pushing everyone away? No, mate, you’re better than that. I’ve seen it.” Price says. Pausing for a moment “Kasper doesn’t deserve this either… I don’t know what happened and I won't pretend to, but I thought you were getting over your 'issue' with her and then all of a sudden, you shut her and everyone else out again.”

Ghost remains silent, lost in his thoughts. He sits down and hangs his head between his legs. “She deserves betta than me John. I can’t make her happy. I can’t.” he says quietly, his British accent thick with emotion as he struggles to hold back tears. 

“I don’t believe that for one second. She isn’t weak. She’s not stupid either. You can’t sit here and pretend to make all the decisions for her Simon. Thats not fair to her. She’s capable of choosing on her own. Now whether you want to believe it or not, you are deserving of love. There is nothing that you’ve done that is irredeemable. And if what you’ve done in your lifetime is, then we’re all fucked along with you. And I refuse to believe that.” Price stands up, walks around his desk and places a hand on Ghost’s shoulder. “Think about it Simon, before it’s too late to fix this.”

Ghost sits back and nods, staring at the wall lost in thought. After a minute he stands up, yanking his mask back on and leaves, headed to the bar.

When he gets there he finds Gaz and Keegan sitting at their usual table, Angel's off to the side pouting. As bloody usual. He heads to the bar for a drink and makes his way over to the others. As he sits, Angel tries sliding over into his lap and he immediately shoves her off. "Read the room, Angel." He spits out at her. 

"First Price and now you huh? You fucking prick."

He ignores her, taking a long drink of his bourbon instead. Gaz and Keegan start laughing and he sees Gaz slip some money into Keegans hand. 

"Damnit, you were right mate." Gaz says.

"Told you he'd had enough. A day too late it looks like." Keegan says with a smug look on his face. 

"What's that mean? Ghost huffs out.

"Nothing man." Keegan takes a drink of his beer raising his eyebrows.

Angel pipes up, "God I am so glad Kasper isn't here, her face kills my buzz."

"That's funny, your voice kills mine." Keegan says, glaring at her and she rolls her eyes.

"Awww, you pussy whipped already Keegan?" She spits out, clearly trying to rile him up. "Pathetic really."

"Doesn't make it any less true." He replies, before he could stop himself. Thinking back, he knew that anyone that had been in this bar last night would have known what happened but he hadn't heard from you all day or night. He didn't know what any of it had meant, if it had meant anything at all. He knew he had feelings for you but was hoping to keep everything hushed, out of respect. Plus he was sure Ghost would kick his ass. Not that he had any right to, Keegan thought, Ghost had been fucking Angel since she got here. 

Ghost sits back and thinks, taking another long drink. He had been here. He'd seen you and Keegan too. It had taken everything he had to not walk over there and beat Keegan to a pulp. And when he saw Keegan throw you over his shoulders, he knew. He didn't blame the man, you are so completely irresistible. But that didn't help. He had just hoped that it didn't go that far but hearing what Keegan said just now broke something in him. You had slept with him. Now he understands exactly what Keegan had meant when he said 'a day too late'. He gulps down the rest of his drink and heads back to the bar for another, opting to sit on a stool there instead. He needed some space. He takes out his phone and texts you. Again. He had tried several times earlier and you hadn't responded. Price did tell him you had landed safely though so he wasn't too worried about you. He didn't like you being alone, so far away.

Ghost: Did you fuck Keegan?

He shuts his screen off and sets it on the bar. Face down. He doesn’t want to see it if no response comes through. And honestly he doesn’t want to see it if it does either. He stares at the rows of liquor on the wall across from him, not really seeing them but lost in his own mind. For what feels like the millionth time, images of your face flash in his mind. The way you had been been smiling when he saw you walk into Price’s office for the very first time. The way you always held your head up high around base, smiling at everyone you’d see.The time he watched you jumping out of the plane like an idiot, smiling and laughing, he had shaken his head when you’d done it, amused with your sense of humor. This is bloody pathetic Simon. He thinks, I’ve got to get it together.

He finally reaches out and checks his phone as he drains his drink, ordering another. There’s a whiney text from Angel but nothing from you. He texts again, the liquor spurring him on.

Ghost: Nevermind don’t answer that.

After a while, Angel walks up behind him, running both of her hands up his back and he goes still. He hates being touched there. The scars from months of torture he had once endured held the weight of the trauma. It’s not something he would ever share with Angel, though he had made it clear several times to her that he hates it. The fact that she knows better pisses him off. “Get your hands off me.” he says, his words dripping with anger.

“Oh come on, Ghost, what’s gotten into you?" She asks as she moves around to his side, rubbing his thigh. "I know what can make you feel better" She purrs. 

"Is that right? You think you know what I need, is that it?” Ghost sneers, drawing out each word, “You think you can fix me Angel?” She leans in closer, reaching towards his face and Ghost catches her wrist, squeezing it tight, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” he says with pure venom in his voice.

She stares at him, “Fuck you, let go of my hand or I’ll scream.”

“Leave. Go back to the base, tell everyone I’m a piece of shite, whatever you need to do, but do not touch me again.” he roughly lets go of her wrist and turns back towards the bar refusing to look at her. She stands there for a few moments before finally huffing and walking away. “Big mistake, Ghost.”

He barely hears her. Already lost in his thoughts again. He orders another drink, fully aware that he’s had too many already, but he doesn’t care. After a while he’s vaguely aware that he texts you a few more times, knowing he shouldn’t be. Keegan and Gaz come say goodbye at some point in the night but he acts like they aren’t there. Ignoring them as the leave. He’s too drunk, too lost in his own misery to care. Rock bottom is a lonely place. Another hour passes and he’s finally kicked out of the bar, it was closing time and the owner had gotten him a cab. 

Stumbling back to his room, he barely gets the door open. He shuts it behind him and falls into his bed checking his phone one last time for any response. When he’s sees theres nothing he curses. He drunk enough that he calls you, desperate to hear your voice. Even if it’s just your voicemail which it will probably will be. Yep, your phone goes right to voicemail.

“Kasss.. Is ghost,” he says almost incoherently. “-M sorry i love you.” He hangs up and passes out.

Chapter Text

You’ve been in Colorado for almost a week now, checking in every so often with the group. Price has called you every day, even with the time difference, to ask how things were going. Soap was getting better, slowly but surely, finally able to get off his strong painkillers and start some desk duty. Gaz had taken over some of Soap’s training obligations with recruits so you didn’t hear much from him. Price carefully avoided the subject of Ghost and with everything going on, you had forgotten about the voicemail. He hadn’t texted you since the first night.

You were finished packing up, having sent most of your things ahead already to Fort Collins to be shipped over all at once. Price had arranged a storage place for everything on base and you were so grateful for all of his help. Yesterday, you met with a realtor and finished up getting your house on the market and there were already offers. As much as you were at peace with letting go, it still hurt. On your last night there, you sit on your now empty floors, looking through the photo albums you had come to grab yourself. They were filled with a life you had once loved. Childhood photos that were slightly faded, their edges jagged, reminded you of just how much you had lost. Your parents had died shortly after you had turned 17. They’d never got to see the strong woman you’d become. Would they be proud? You weren’t sure. They were both the quiet, peaceful type, never believing that war was the right thing to get involved in. And maybe that’s why you had joined the military immediately after their passing. You had been angry, hurt, and had lashed out desperate to wipe all memory of them behind. You spent the next few years totally building a new version of yourself, one you could pretend wasn’t broken. The old version of yourself died in that car crash with them and you had never looked back. Since then though, your life had known no shortage of loss. Funny how that ends up being the case when you’re only here because you were running from it. Touche universe . 

You pull yourself off the floor, knowing you need to get out of here before the sun sets and makes your drive through the mountains more dangerous. You’d booked a hotel room near the airport for your last evening since all of your furniture was now gone. You pick up the rest of your things and head there, quickly checking in, finding your room, and flopping on the bed. You text Price.

Kasper: Got to my hotel, thanks again for all your help, I’ll see you tomorrow.

PapaPrice: Good to hear, don’t need to thank me. Fly safe.

You back out and text the group.

Kasper: I’m expecting a welcome back party bitches. 

Kasper: With pizza. And alcohol. 

Dial: Already got it taken care of 😊

Gazaroo: Simp

Keegs: 🤣🤣 just hurry up and get back here loser.

Kasper: Sure let me just teleport my way there.

Dial: That would be so handy to do.

Gazaroo: I'll help fund this. I hate walking across base.

Keegs: That's because all the dumb recruits you fuck give you death stares.

Gazaroo: I didn't say it was because it made me tired. 

Kasper: 💀💀 Playa, playaaaa

Angel: Why didn't I hear about a party 🥺

Keegs: Must've forgot

Angel: Why are you even in this group chat, you're not on our team 😒

________________________

A day later, you're pulling back up to the base in your jeep. The familiarity of it welcomes you back and you let out a deep breath as you pull into your parking space. Your flight landed a bit early and traffic was bare so you're about an hour before schedule. Walking into your building and taking a shortcut through the common room, you nearly run right into Price. He drops the case of beer he's holding (your favorite, no one else likes it) and swoops you up for a hug. 

"Ahh we've missed you lass, everyone's been driving me mad the last week." He says. It's been a long, emotional day already and you look down to hide the emotion in your eyes. 

"OH stop cap, you're going to make me cry." 

"No, no, none of that, come on." He picks back up the case of beer and takes your bag from you, heading towards your room. Once inside he sets your stuff down and takes a seat at your desk. "I trust everything went well, yeah? Any offers on the house yet?" 

"Yeah the realtor emailed me a few, I just need to go over them once I get settled. Thanks again for your help, it would've been a mess without it." You reply. "Everything should be here in a few days so that's good. Also, I've given some thought, I'd like to just stay here for the time being, even if we get this Graves stuff sorted. I like it here. Honestly, it feels more like home than Colorado did."

Price nods, understanding, "Sure, I can make that happen. I don't think I'll have any pushback from Laswell. Speaking of Graves, we've got word that he might be just outside the Russian border in Belarus. We've sent a recon team to see what we can find out. If he's there, and I think he is, we will take him out. It's time to be done with this."

You nod, "Couldn't agree more." 

Price stands up and heads to your door, "We've got pizza showing up in an hour or so, get settled, relax a bit, and come to the common room, that's an order."

"I'll be there Cap, thanks." You say as he leaves.

You spend the next hour getting your stuff settled back in. You've brought back all of your clothes so it takes a while to hang them all up. Slipping into the shower, you work out the knots in your neck from the plane ride. It really does feel nice to be back. You get out and dry your hair, opting to leave it down for once, you've got some extra time so why not dress up a bit? It's been ages since you've made a real effort with your appearance. You pull a dress on and very carefully work the zipper up your back.  Not without effort. It's a bit loose on you, a sign of stress no doubt. In the year you spent after losing your last team, you had become a shell of your former self. Barely eating, hardly taking care of yourself. The time you've spent since coming here has done you some good. Your color is back in your cheeks, along with at least some of the curves you've missed. Satisfied with how you look, you slide on some wedge sandals and head to the common room excited to see everyone. 

Soap is the first to see you, “Bonnie!!! You’re back!” he pulls you into a gentle hug, he’s still sore. “Everything work out? You’ve been ignoring us you ass.”

You laugh, “Yes, yes it’s all good. I was just busy. I had more things there than I remember having. I don't know how I collected it all but it was a mess." 

Keegan comes up next giving you a hug and twirling you around, "Damn girl, look at you. You clean up niiiiice, shit." He holds up one of your hands and makes you do a spin.

You blush, "Oh shut up, you act like you've never seen a woman before." You say, rolling your eyes.

Gaz comes up offering you a plate with pizza on it, "Shit, you're a woman?? I had no idea. Did you Price?" 

"Nope, no clue, I better fix some paperwork." He laughs. 

"OH my God you guys are so annoying. I've missed you. And that's the only time you'll hear me say that. And I only say it because you got me pizza." 

They all laugh, spreading back out and going back to the game of pool they were playing before you got there. You look around and see Angel in the corner, clearly arguing with Ghost who's sitting down at one of the high-top tables in the corner next to the pool table. Well more like arguing AT him. He's laser-focused on you, very obviously tuning her out much to her irritation. She glances your way, following his eyes, and gives you a scathing look before stomping off and taking a seat on the couch by herself. You remember the texts he had sent you, having put it totally out of your mind until now. It makes you feel suddenly anxious and you hate it. You glance back at him and he’s still staring at you so you muster up what nerve you have and walk towards him. His eyes follow you the entire time. It’s brazen really, you think and it makes you feel *things* you'd rather not because you're upset with him. You reach the table and take a seat next to him, taking a long drink of your beer. “Hi.” you say simply.

You can see him visibly relax as his shoulders drop down and he cocks his head back and forth, stretching his neck. “Hi back.”

You tilt your head, studying him carefully, “Sorry I never replied, I was busy taking care of things...” you offer.

“I know.” he replies. The growing silence between you is palpable but not entirely uncomfortable. “You get everything sorted over there?” he finally asks.

“Yep, everything’s done, Price really came in clutch with the movers and realtor.”

He nods, clenching and unclenching his jaw under his mask, “That’s good to hear.” he says. You're still looking in his eyes as he shamelessly, slowly runs his down your body, taking in your bare legs on full display from your short sundress. He clenches his jaw under his mask, adjusts himself on his stool and goes quiet, his eyes returning to yours. 

You roll your eyes, shift a bit in your seat, and sip your beer. Looking away finally, you see Price kicking Soap's ass in pool. Soap is still clearly struggling with his injuries, wincing a bit when he leans over the table.  After a minute, your previous anger at Ghost bubbles to the surface. You turn back to him and point over at Angel. “You and your girlfriend get into a fight or something?”

Ghost’s eyes flicker over to where Angel sits on the couch, sulking and nursing her drink alone. “She’s not my girlfriend."

You raise an eyebrow, curious about his bitter tone. “Well you’ve been glued to her side, or rather her to your lap, since she got here,” you remark, unable to keep the annoyance from your voice.

He sighs, “It’s complicated, not what it seems.”

You roll your eyes. “Seems simple to me but whatever” The more you talk to him about it the more mad you get. And rightfully so you think. You’ve had it with his shit. “Actually, I’m not sorry for not answering you. You’re an asshole.” with that, you get up from the table and head back to your room. The rest of the guys yell after you, asking where you’re going but you just keep walking. You've already had enough and you just got back. You hate how much power Ghost has to rile you up.

Chapter Text

Halfway to your room, you become aware that someone is following you. Turning to look over your shoulder, you see that it's Ghost. "Leave me alone for fucks sake." 

"No, Kas. We need to talk." You both reach your door and you turn and put your back on it. 

"OH now you want to 'talk' huh? After ignoring me for weeks and being a TOTAL fucking prick, you want to talk. Right. Cool. Talk." You spit at him.

He stands there for a moment too long, unsure of how to start. 

"Right then, good fucking talk Ghost. Way to use your words." You say as you start to open your door.

"Would you stop for a bloody moment?" He pleads.

"No! No, I will not actually. What do you even care anyway? You've made it VERY clear that whatever happened at the bar that night was a mistake. So go back to Angel, I'm sure she can make everything better for you."  You sneer at him, close to tears but refusing to let even one fall in front of him. 

Your words sting. Ghost takes a step back, seeing how hurt you are is killing him. This is exactly why he had done this to begin with, he's no good for you. He turns to leave. “If this is how you want it to be, fine. I’ll respect that. Even if.. Even if it…” he sighs, “nevermind.” And with that he’s gone, walking back towards his room.

As he walks away, his parting words hang in the air, heavy with unspoken feelings. Your heart aches with a mix of emotions  - anger, hurt, and a profound sense of loss. You hate yourself for letting your emotions get the best of you, for letting him see how much he’s affected you.

Inside your room, you lean against the door, closing your eyes for a moment to collect your thoughts. Deep down, you know that lashing out at him was a defense mechanism, a way to cope with the confusion and frustration that had been building for weeks,

After a few minutes, you take a deep breath and decide to take control of the situation. If Ghost refused to open up or admit anything, that’s his choice. You can’t force someone to share their emotions. What you can control is your own response.

You change out of the dress and into something more comfortable, then head back to the common room. Price sees your return and gives you a warm smile, clearly glad to have you back in the group.

You grab a fresh slice of pizza and a beer and take a seat at the table with the others, making an effort to join in the conversation. The tension with Ghost still lingers in the background, but you refuse to let it dominate your thoughts. You may not have all the answers, but you’re determined to not focus on it for another moment. At least not for the night. 

______________

The next morning, you get up and grab breakfast. You’re up way too early for anyone else from your team to be there, your body's inner clock is still stuck in Colorado. As you sit there, you let your mind wander, eating a bit but letting most of your food go cold. How did things end up so messed up? And why? How could this stupid man have such a hold on you that'd you'd risk embarrassing yourself in a hallway at 9 pm on a fucking Wednesday night no less. That's a new low for you. 

Slowly, others start filtering in around you and the guys join you at your table. You listen to them talking about what’s been going on the last week, who Gaz slept with last, and how Soap is feeling. He’s getting better but still sore and on limited duties and he hates it. Keegan catches your eye more than once, raising his eyebrow at you and giving you a smug grin. You lean into it, he’s so easy and uncomplicated that it’s nice. Ghost is the last to show up and he takes the last open seat across from you. He sits back lazily in his chair, legs spread taking up as much space as possible. It’s so confident and sexy when he does that, and you cuss under your breath. How can that fucker be so commanding and delicious just eating breakfast? Get it together (y/n), you hate him remember?

As everyone talks around you, you look up and see Angel walking in with Simmons. Figures, that makes sense. They’re both pieces of shit. You watch as she grabs her tray and makes her way to your table. When she gets there she stands behind Ghost and clears her throat as if demanding he move and let her have his seat. He doesn’t. He just stares down at his phone. After an awkward few seconds, she huffs and walks away, sitting down a few tables away. She shoots you a glare. Yep, I’ve had enough, I’m not doing this shit with her anymore.

You stand up, shoving your chair away loudly, and stroll over to her table. Soap goes to grab your arm, “Bonnie, she’s n-”  but you shake him off and he doesn't finish, the words dying on his lips. Keegan just sits there and starts laughing and leans forward, his elbows on the table like he can’t wait to watch the show. 

You get to her table and yank a chair out, spinning it towards her, and lean back, letting your legs spread out in front of you. You cock your head and ask her, “What the fuck is your problem, Angel?”

As you confront her, the entire cafeteria seems to grow quieter, and the attention of both your team and others in the room becomes fixated on the scene. Angel's eyes narrow as she realizes you’re not backing down.

You keep your composure, not letting her attempted intimidation get to you, you’ve had enough of her attitude and it’s time to put her in her place. Your direct question catches her off guard.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replies with a defensive tone.

"Don't you though? Do you think I'm stupid? You've been nothing but rude to me since you showed up." You say, keeping your tone under control and posture relaxed.

"Shouldn't you be running off to go fuck Price or something? Or Soap? Or Keegan again? I've heard you're quite the little barracks bunny, Kasper. No wonder you have them all in your pocket." She says then leans forward in your face. "But not Ghost huh? You can't take it that he likes me and not you, you fucking bitch." 

From the corner of your eye, you see your entire team sit up straight at that, all of them with murderous glares toward her. Well not Keegan, he's quietly laughing, still leaning forward on his elbows, his chin resting on his hands. 

You stare at her for a few moments. Did this bitch just call you a barracks bunny? She did, she definitely did. “Tell me Angel, who did YOU have to fuck to even get here? Because we both know you’re underqualified. I bet it was more than one officer. Or maybe they just gave you what you wanted to get rid of you. Make you someone else's problem since that’s the only talent you possess. I bet you HATE seeing a woman actually be worthy of a seat at the table of the most elite and deadly team in the world. That’s it, isn’t it? You just fuck your way through life? Throw little hissy fits when you don’t get your way? Sad. And Ghost? I’ll bet money he sees it too. He certainly didn’t look like he was enjoying your company last night.” You savor the look that elicits from her. 

Angel’s jaw drops, her face still inches from yours as she stands over you in your relaxed posture. Suddenly she slaps you and you slowly turn your head back to her and giggle. “You hit like a little bitch.” Angel comes undone, trying to jump on you. You hear Keegan start loudly laughing his ass off. Soap and Ghost are quickly there, grabbing Angel's arms, half lifting her up, and dragging her away as she kicks her legs trying to make contact with you. As they drag her off, you stare right at her, take an apple off her plate, and take a huge bite, chewing and smiling at her, thoroughly enjoying the moment. You stand up and head back to your table to grab your things. Gaz and Keegan are both still laughing,  “I think.. I think I'm in love. Oh shit that was good" Gaz manages to say between bursts of laughter. Keegan's wiping tears from his eyes, “Damn you got me bricked up, Jesus.. ‘You hit like a little bitch’. OH I hope Price kicks her out.”

“I hope he does too, I can’t stand her.” you giggle. “Gotta go boys.” you wave goodbye and leave, headed off in the direction of Price’s office. You know you’ll be getting a text from him soon to come there anyway. 

As you near Price’s office, you can already hear Angel yelling. You sigh and push open the door, slipping in behind her. Soap and Ghost are still on either side of her and she leans over Price’s desk. You take a seat on the side of the room and Price looks at you, only half attempting to hide the amusement on his face. “Kasper, is it true that Angel hit you?” 

“Yes, sir. At least I think so, I could hardly feel it.” You say and hear Soap snicker.

Price sighs, “Alright, well then Angel, you’re off the team. Effective immediately. I’m moving you to our bravo team with Simmons and his group. I trust you’ll have fewer issues there yes? If you continue to conduct yourself in this manner, I’ll make sure you’re moved to a new base entirely. Striking a teammate will not be tolerated.”

“This is bullshit, she fucking started it Capta-” she fumes, before Prce interrupts 

“Then restrain yourself, Sergeant Thompson. Control your emotions. You are useless if you cannot. Leave, take the rest of the day to settle down and then report to Captain Black in the morning, he will be in charge of you from now on.”

You sit silently in the corner, watching the scene unfold. Angel’s outrage continues but Price remains unfazed. It’s clear hes had enough of ehr behavior too and you can’t help but to feel a sense of vindication. 

As she finally leaves, you can’t help but to offer her a smug wave as she passes you, causing her to shoot you one last furious glare before disappearing.

“Really Kasper?” Price asks, not even hiding his amusement anymore. 

“Hey, she deserved it. She’s been a total bitch. She’s lucky i just sat there, I was about to beat her ass for calling me a barracks bunny." You sit back propping your feet up on another chair. "I don't know what she expected honestly." 

Soap knocks your feet down taking a seat. You roll your eyes at him, putting your feet on his lap instead. "I think we owe you a collective thanks, Bonnie. I was hoping you'd take out the trash soon. She may have saved my life but I couldn't stand the woman."

You roll your hand in front of you and look down, taking a bow. "You're welcome, I'm here all night." You giggle. 

"Go, get out of here you lot, I've got to start on all this paperwork I now have to do. Kasper, if she gives you any more problems let me know. I'll handle her from here." Price says.

The 3 of you stand up, and file out into the hallway, and head towards the training room together. Halfway there you realize you forgot your headphones and split off from them, doubling back towards your room, letting them know you’d be right there. As soon as you step inside you feel the door slam behind you and lock, and someone grabs you from behind. You feel a knife gently dig into your side.  

Chapter Text

A low, raspy voice whispers in your ear, "You made a big mistake messing with Angel." It's a voice you can't quite place, but you recognize the distinct tone of someone out for revenge. You try to grab their hand off of your mouth but they push the knife harder into your side and it pokes through your shirt and into your skin. "Uh uh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. You think you're so fucking special huh? Do you think you're in charge here?  You think you can embarrass Angel in front of everyone like you did to me weeks ago?" Your mind starts searching trying to figure out who’s behind you. "You can't. Not without paying for it you fucking barracks bunny slut. And I've come to get my payment." 

It hits you, Simmons. "I'm going to let go of your mouth and you're going to keep reaaaaal quiet, do you understand?" He sneers into your ear. Your mind is racing, but your body shuts down. Unwilling to work to do anything you know you need to do. You nod your head against his hand. He slowly lowers it, keeping the other with the knife firmly pressed into your side. You can feel the blood starting to drip down from where the point is stuck in the flesh of your ribs. He trails his hand down your front, grabbing your breast for a moment and then moving his hand even lower. Splaying it across your stomach and slowly pulling up on the fabric of your shirt, untucking it from your pants. His hand goes back up, under your shirt now and he runs it across your breasts, moaning in your ear. "You're going to be a good girl for me or I will fucking kill you. You hear me?" Your body is still unable to work, you're barely able to nod again. You could stop him, you think, you're pretty sure of it, but you can't make yourself do a damn thing. He lowers his hand starting to undo the button of your pants and walks you forward to your bed. He gets them undone and yanks them down, bending you over, and cutting your side even more. 

You hear a knock at the door. Then another. "Kasper? Everything ok? We've been waiting for you." You can tell by the voice that it's Ghost. You take a second to glance back at Simmons and he grabs your mouth, shushing you quietly. You start screaming, making what noise you can with his hand pressed on your mouth. You feel a white-hot pain as the knife presses inches further into your side. You hear the door banging over and over until it slams open, splintering free from the lock and you see Ghost's face. He takes in the scene, the blood running down your leg now with a knife stuck in your side, and his face quickly goes from worry to absolute rage. It takes him 2 steps to reach Simmons and he grabs onto him with one hand, beating his fist into his face with the other, over and over again. You scramble and try to yank your pants back up but your arm hits the knife stuck in your side and you get light-headed. Soap rushes in, having heard the sound of your door being broken down clear from the training room, and immediately jumps onto Simmons, taking his turn to beat him mercilessly as he lay on the floor. Ghost pulls out his phone and you vaguely hear him say Price's name. Your vision gets fuzzy and slowly goes black, your knees fail you, and you start to fall as a set of large hands grab you. 

______________________

You wake a while later to the sound of machines beeping. It takes you a few seconds but the images start to flash in your mind. Simmons. Him grabbing you. The knife stabbing deep into your side. Ghost breaking your door down. As you begin to process everything, the beeps of the machines get faster and you feel someone squeeze your hand. You hadn't even noticed someone holding it. You groan, finally feeling the deep pain in your side. 

"Kas? You're OK, love, you're OK." A deep voice cuts through the fog in your head. You hear someone come in, shushing you, gently patting your other arm, and then messing with something on your hand. The world goes dark again.

______________

You wake a few more times. Each time a little more alert than the last. Whatever pain meds they're giving you are kicking your ass. Every time you’ve stirred you’ve felt the now familiar presence of a hand holding yours. It’s been an anchor in your darkness. You lay there for a minute, listening again to the beeps of the machines, going over what had happened. You remember being stabbed, Simmons getting his ass beat, and then nothing. You wonder if Ghost killed him. Or Soap. You’d seen them fight before but never had you seen that level of fury. Finally, you open your eyes, squinting in the soft glow of lights. You see Ghost, bent over, his head resting on your bed while he holds your hand. 

He’s asleep. Every trace of rage and worry was gone from his relaxed face. He’s close enough, and there’s enough eyeblack smudged off that you can see his blondish-red eyelashes. There’s a faint scar on one of his eyebrows. You lay there and study his face, what you can see of it. You’d never seen him look so peaceful, so normal. You only get a few minutes though, he soon snaps his eyes open, a habit from years of sleeping light on dangerous missions.

“Kas, you’re awake.” He mumbles, and sits up, stretching his neck. “How are you feeling? Thought we’d lost you there for a bit.”

“That bad huh? I knew the fucker stabbed me but I didn’t realize..” you say. “Is he?..”

“He’s alive. But only because Price showed up and pulled Soap off of him. Should've let him kill the bastard."  He answers.

"He was waiting in my room for me, I just shut down.. I didn't even try to fight him.." you say. "I should've fought him. I should've done anything." You start to panic, ashamed of yourself. Ashamed that they had seen you that way. It's so fucking embarrassing. "I'm sorr-"

"Stop. Stop that right now, you did what you could. Don't you dare say you're sorry." He interrupts you, taking your hand in his again. "Don't do that to yourself. Please. It's ok. I'm not mad at you, Soap isn't, Price, nobody. You apologize to no one." 

You stare at your hand in his, too ashamed to meet his eyes. It looks tiny in comparison. "How… how long was I out?" 

"Quite a while actually, we were starting to get worried. It's been about a day and a half now." He answers. 

"Fuuuuuck." You groan. Trying to sit up and wincing a bit at your side.

"Lie down, Kasper, you'll pull your stitches." He admonishes you, "He got your liver pretty good but your lungs and everything else are fine." He offers as if reading your mind. You'd wondered what the extent of your damage was. "What do you need, water?"

You sit back and nod, "Please, holy shit I'm so thirsty" He holds a cup with a straw up to your mouth, letting you take a drink. "How long have you been here?"

"As long as you have, love. I know you told me to leave you alone but I'm not doing this with you anymore. I can't." He says.

"Ghost-"

"I'm not arguing with you. We can talk when you're feeling better and you can yell at me then. But I'm not leaving your side so shut it. You need rest." He interrupts again. 

You can’t help but smile a little despite everything. "You're bossy." You say and laugh but stop when it hurts. Too exhausted to argue with your own mind, you know you've missed him. You haven't forgiven him for how he treated you, for what he did with Angel, but to be fair you did sleep with Keegan. You sigh, it's too much to process right now and you don't have all the answers, you just know it feels nice to have him close. "Thank you." 

A nurse comes in, giving you your next round of pain meds and as you fight them off, you feel Ghost squeeze your hand. "Go get some rest, Ghost, you…look..you look.. like SHIT man." The last thing you see is the crinkle around his eyes he gets when he laughs. 

You spend the next few days in the hospital, Ghost finally leaves after you speak with him, only after he is sure you are sleeping soundly, and even then only because Price forced him to. He came back though, and spent most of his time there in your room. Sometimes playing a game at full volume on his phone, or talking on it with someone about work. Loudly, the man has absolutely zero volume control, and it was annoying. The others had wanted to come but Price made sure they stayed away, he knew it was overwhelming for you and while he, Ghost, and Soap knew what happened, he had kept the details of the attack private from everyone else. You were grateful for that, having a hard time processing things yourself. The embarrassment and the guilt still sat heavy in your chest. Simmons had been transferred out of here and once he had recovered he would be discharged dishonorably and persecuted. Price also informed you that they had immediately transferred Angel somewhere else. 

Price felt like it was his fault, for bringing them both here. The guilt of it was eating him alive. All of it. He was determined to make things right, no matter what it took. Unbeknownst to you, he had your door frame and door replaced, swapped out the keys on your keyring, and tidied up your room. He had spent the first night after it had happened cleaning your blood off of your floor himself. He wasn't sure if he could forgive himself for what had happened, but he was determined to try and make it right.

Chapter Text

On day 8, you're finally a free woman. You've been sentenced to two whole months off duty but at least you could get out of the hospital. You hated being poked and prodded for blood work every single day and being woken up for a vitals check. Not your idea of fun. In your time there, you'd grown attached to Ghost. You hadn't talked much but his constant presence was like a warm blanket. He made you feel safe, and that was what you needed. Neither one of you had brought up the elephant in the room and honestly you hadn't wanted to. You were afraid that if you did talk about it, everything would go to shit again. It wasn't healthy but you didn't care. As much as you hated to admit it, you needed him. The one time you fell asleep in the hospital without him nearby you had woken up screaming, having to be restrained by several nurses until he rushed in, calming you down. Without the pressure of his hand on yours, all you could feel were Simmons' hands on you. 

When you were finally checked out and cleared to leave, Ghost drove you back to your barracks. Neither one of you saying anything, having adopted a comfortable silence in the last week that you didn't feel the need to fill with chatter. He helped you grab your things and followed you to your room, like a huge shadow. Everything was fine until you reached your door and went to unlock it. You froze. Fuck. Fuck I can't do this, I can't go in there. Images of what had happened in there flashed in your mind, threatening to make you scream.

"Price fixed your door himself, it should be the right keys, you want some help?" Ghost asks, unsure of what the issue was.

"No. It's not.. I can't. I can't go in there." You whispered. 

"What do you need, Kas, name it and it's done. Do you need me to stay? Do you need to be somewhere else?" 

"Somewhere else." You say after a moment. 

He motions for you to follow him. "Come on, you need to rest before you fall over. You can stay in my room. I'd get you another but we are maxed out here. I'll speak with John tomorrow about swapping rooms with someone. Is that alright?" 

You don't immediately answer, you just follow him. Ghost's room? The idea of it made you nervous. Not because you felt unsafe but because you were well aware of how private he was. No one went in there and it was a running joke with the team. Soap had poked fun on more than one occasion that he probably had bodies hidden in there, and Gaz was sure he had Pokémon posters on his walls or something and that's why never let anyone in. "That's fine, thank you."

He just nods and leads you there. Stopping briefly outside his door to let you catch up. His tree trunk legs are hard to keep up with on a good day, and this was not a good day. The last round of painkillers from the hospital was quickly wearing off and being jostled around in a car and walking was making it worse. 

He opens his door and lets you in. You take a look around, it's tidy, of course. His bed is even made. You take note that the fucker has a queen sized bed instead of a twin like yours, of course. He had a stack of books on his nightstand next to his hard skull mask that he wears on missions. No posters anywhere though. A recliner sits in one corner with an old acoustic guitar next to it and a TV up in the opposite corner of the room. "You FUCKER, how'd you get a TV?? And a big bed??"

He laughs as he shuts his door. "Perks of being me, love." 

You roll your eyes. "Welp, Gaz will be disappointed that you don't in fact have Pokémon posters on your walls."

"Just took them down actually, getting different ones in the post soon." He says, his eyes crinkling with a hidden smile.

"OH my God, shut up." You laugh, trying to shake off the wave of emotions seeing your door had brought on. 

He sets your stuff down and plops down into the recliner with a very old man like grunt. You look around. Unsure what to do. "Just lay down, it's fine." He gestures to his bed with a sigh. "What do want to watch?" He's already turning Netflix on. 

"Ummm I don't know, I was almost finished with the new season of Virgin River but it's ok." You answer. 

He tilts his head and gives you some major side-eye. "Bloody hell, Kasper." He quickly searches for it and finds it in the list. "What bloody episode?"

"Ummm let me think, I think I had three left, no two.. no it was three." You giggle again as he makes a show of rolling his eyes. "Sorry! I can't remember you ass!" 

"What do you need from your room?" He asks after settling for the third from last episode and starting it for you. 

"Oh umm, probably some shorts and a tshirt. And my shower stuff, I need a good shower. I feel absolutely disgusting. The hospital shower had like zero pressure. And my laptop. Aaaand my-" He shoots you a look and throws his head back "-stop it you asked, I need my toothbrush and all that too please." 

"OH my God, Kasper, you need me to drag your mini fridge in here too?" He jokes.

"Actually-"

"NO. I draw the line there, love, sorry. I'll be back then, enjoy your ridiculous show." He gets up and leaves, locking his door behind him. 

You take a deep breath. Holy shit is an understatement. He left me in here alone? In HIS room. The gravity of it you don't take lightly. After stepping inside, it's like he transformed, he let his guard down. You didn't know he was actually funny. And getting your things for you? Fucking hell. You lie back in his bed, the now familiar scent of his body wash is all around you and it calms you. Wild. This is wild. You think to yourself. You get up and grab some water from his fridge and take your pain pills. You hate that they make you fuzzy but you're in a lot of pain. At least it's not whatever they had been pumping into your IV, that stuff was ridiculous. A short while later, Ghost walks back in, giving a quick double knock before opening the door. 

He must've grabbed a bag from your closet and he sets it down on the bed in front of you. "How on earth do you have so much shite in your bathroom? I just panicked and grabbed it all. Good god woman." 

He does look stressed. "Thanks, sorryyyy." You take the bag and dump it out on the bed, secretly loving the face he makes when you do it. You know you're pushing his buttons but seeing him be so playful spurs you on. You dig through the pile, grabbing what you need for a shower and pick out a pair of biker shorts and a big tshirt for after. You awkwardly shove the rest back in your bag and head to his bathroom, locking the door once you're inside. You start the shower and pee real quick so he can't hear you because awkward. You peel off your bandages, throwing them in the trash and get in. Shockingly enough he's not a 3 in 1 body wash dude. He's got actual shampoo in there. Shitty shampoo, but it's impressive nonetheless. You take your time, being careful around your stitches. Once finished you find a towel and dry off, put a new bandage on and get dressed. This is so weird you think before opening the door and walking back to his bed. He's still sitting in the recliner, engrossed in Virgin River.

"Who's Brie?" He asks.

"Jack's sister." You answer.

"Who is Jack??" He asks again.

"He's with Mel. He owns the bar." You say stifling a laugh. "Do you just want to start from the beginning?"

He raises an eyebrow at you, "No."

You lay down and get comfortable, it's been a long evening and your pain pills are starting to kick in finally so you can hardly keep your eyes open. Turning to face him. "You can change it, Ghost." 

"Simon." He says quietly. 

You stare at him with half closed eyes, confused. "Who's Simon..?"

He pauses for a moment, loving the way it sounds from your mouth. "Me. My name is Simon." 

"Oh.. Simon.. ok. I like it." You yawn loudly and can't keep your eyes open any longer. "G'night, Simon" You say as you fall asleep. 

Ghost sits there and watches you for a long time, your show still playing on his TV. His mind was lost in the way you said his name. He isn’t sure what compelled him to tell you it. Besides Price and Laswell, no one knows it. He quickly texts Price, letting him know that you’re in his room and that they might need someone to swap rooms with you. He hadn’t anticipated your reaction earlier but it makes sense to him and he didn’t mind sharing his space with you. Near you, even in the shitty hospital chair, it was the best sleep he had in he wasn’t sure how long. And now, seeing you shuffle out of his bathroom in your too-baggy shirt and wet hair has done him in. He’s totally fucked and he knows it. 

________________

The next morning you wake up sore as hell. You had slept right through your next dose of pain medication, and Ghost’s mattress honestly sucked. You sit up, taking a look around and see that he’s gone. You check your phone to see what time it is., thankful that he must have plugged it in for you last night because you sure as hell don’t remember doing it.

Keegs: You doing ok? I came by your room thinking they finally let you out but you didn’t answer.

Keegs: N/m ran into Ghost with a bag of your stuff in the hall. Please tell me Gaz was right and it was the poster thing and not a severed head in his fridge. 

Kasper: Gaz was right, there’s posters and shit all over this place.

Keegs: I fucking KNEW it 

You giggle, knowing Ghost is about to get a thousand messages from the guys. Taking the opportunity with him being gone, you go to the bathroom and brush your teeth and get decently cleaned up. You fell asleep with wet hair and it’s all over the place. Omgggg I look like I’m about to start casting spells up in here. Where’s my damn brush??

You leave the bathroom to find your bag and Ghost walks in the door, stopping to look at you.

“Shut up, I know, don’t say anything or I’ll punch you. I can’t find my damn brush. Don’t look at me. Stop laughing.” you are rambling, you know you’re rambling.

Ghost sets a container from the dining hall down on his desk, “Are you always this feral in the morning or is today a special occasion?”

“Yes, always. Is that food?” you ask, as you finally find your brush and start raking it through your hair.

“Yeah, you need to eat, you can’t take those pills on an empty stomach. Sit. Eat.” He says pointing to the desk chair.

“Oh my god thank you, even this shit is better than the stuff they were feeding me in the hospital.” You sit down and start eating. He grabbed a little of everything. You hear him do his old man sit again in the recliner.

“Did you talk to Price about my room?” you ask between bites.

“I did, he’s going to see what he can do but it might be a few days. Most of the recruits are gone on a training mission.” he answers. “You sleep ok?”

“I did but I’ve got to tell you, that’s the worst fucking mattress I’ve ever slept on. Where did you find that, out back by the trash or what?"

“Rude. It’s not that bad.” he says back. “If you’re going to be here a few days I’ll see what I can do.”

“No I didn’t mea-” you say.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” He leans his head back and sighs.

"Ghost, y-" you start.

"Simon." He interrupts.

You pause "..Simon, you don't have to do this for me. I'll be ok. I don't want you to have to feel like you owe me or something because of what happened with.. him.. don't get me wrong, I do appreciate it I really do, I just feel bad. And if it's to make up for the shit with Angel, it's fine. You're an adult and I clearly misread things. I really had no right to be upset with you, I was just.. I don't know." You say to him. You can't stand the thought of him just doing this to coddle you. You've always taken care of yourself. And what's done is done with Angel, she's gone, you never had any claim on him. It just hurt.

"Kas.." he starts slowly, "I'm not helping you out because I feel some sort of obligation to… I fucked up, I know I did. That night in the bar when I found you in the bathroom, it scared me. And that was… new for me. Sleeping with Angel was a mistake and I'm sorry. I know you say what's done is done but it wasn’t right. I used her to keep you away. To protect myself.. and you."

"Simon.." you start.

Ghost holds up a hand and stops you "Please, let me finish. You need to know, I've lost everyone I care about besides this team. Every single one. And stupidly I thought, maybe if I pushed you away, made you hate me, that you'd be safe. I can't lose you Kasper. I can handle a lot of shite, a lot, but not that. When you left and went to Colorado, without saying anything to me, and yes I know why you didn't, I panicked. John even had to pull me into his office like a child after I beat up a recruit for looking at me wrong. Bloody hell. I'm just done fighting it. So that's why I'm doing this. I can't help it. I need to know you're ok. And when I saw you with a fucking knife in your side, God something broke inside of me. I even begged John to tell me where that piece of shite was sent, I still want to go kill him. I just.. This just isn't some pity party for you. I'm sorry."

You sit there and stare at him, not even sure what to say. "Simon.. I wish you would've just told me. I mean, I understand now why you didn't, or couldn't, I just, I thought you hated me. And it sucked." 

"I don't. I hate myself. Always have, love." He says simply, looking down at his hands. "It's part of my charm, really."

Despite the heaviness in the air you laugh. "I'm not entirely sure that charm is the word you were looking for there." You get up and walk over to him. Gently dropping down in front of his chair, cursing to yourself in your head because it pulls your stitches. "Thank you. Thank you for being more honest with me than I had ever expected. No stop. Don't roll your eyes. I'm serious. What a mess. Huh?" 

"You're telling me, love," He says. "Come on, as much as I love the sight of you on your knees for me, and trust me when I say, I DO, you're hurting. Get up, finish your food and take a nap. Watch some shite TV. Whatever." He grabs under your arms and gently helps you back up as you process what he had just said. Oh my God did he? He did say that, definitely did. "That's enough talk for now. You're going to make me a bloody sap for Christ sake. Ruin my good reputation. Are you going to be ok today? John is on my ass about getting reports done so I'll be gone most of it." 

"I'll be fine, Simon, go. Tell Price I'm sorry about my room. I feel bad." You say.

"It's no problem, but I'll tell him. Get some rest, love." He stares at you for a few seconds before leaning in and tucking a strand of your half-brushed hair behind your ear. "You're going to drive me mad, Kas. Absolutely mental. I hope you know that."

Chapter Text

10:19 AM

Simon: Did you tell Keegan I had Pokémon posters and shite all over my room? 

Kasper: Uhhh, new number, who dis?

Simon: Gaz won't shut up about it and I'm about to throttle him. He said it in front of recruits, Kas.

Kasper: 💀💀💀💀 I would say I'm sorry but I'm not really. 

Simon: I was going to bring in this new mattress I got but never mind I guess. 

Kasper: Omg ok I'm sorry. Please forgive me. 

A few hours later, he stopped by with lunch and swapped out the mattress. You spent most of the day, in and out of sleep and it was a nice change from the louder atmosphere of the hospital. The group had been texting you all day, happy to have you back but letting you have the space you needed. You knew you needed to sit down and catch up with Gaz and especially Keegan but you didn't have it in you. You felt bad about Keegan. Guilty. It was clear he had some feelings towards you but besides sleeping with him once, it was surface level for you. That would be an awkward conversation for another day. When you weren't sleeping, your mind drifted back to the things Ghost had said. Or Simon I guess now? It was surreal, that he had told you his name. Honestly you'd never thought of him as anything but Ghost though you knew at some point he had to have been someone else. It had just never crossed your mind. When listening to him explaining himself, his voice had been so raw, he had looked so vulnerable. It wasn't something you'd ever really expected from the 6'5" massive killing machine. The accountability he had showed you a deeper, more mature version of him. There's not many men that could wholly own up to their shit. You'd had your fair share of toxic relationships with narcissistic, gaslighting men. The kind of men that always apologized but not without making it your fault that they did what they did and not really apologizing at all by the end of it. The ones that you felt you needed to say sorry to as they set your brain on fire with the shit maybe it was my fault for overreacting bullshit. Not Simon. It didn't change how he had pushed you away, but knowing the reason behind it, a genuine reason, your heart could resonate with it. You've known loss too, you think to yourself. More than anyone should. Your parents, countless friends in war, your team, your fiance even if it turned out the way it did was still a loss, in more ways than one. 

You were also silently thankful for the mandatory bed rest. It might not be emotionally healthy but you were so damn comfortable being taken care of. There was a way that Ghost did things without question that made your heart beat out of your chest. You asked for nothing and yet he still gave you it all. He hadn’t even questioned you when you froze outside your door the evening before, he just handled things without judgement in a way you didn't realize you needed. It finally clicked in your brain when he came back to his room late in the evening carrying yet another meal for you unasked. You loved him. The revelation made your chest tight with emotion. Despite everything that had happened, you knew it was true. His deep voice brought you back to the present. "The guys told me to tell you hello before they left." 

"Oh, where did everyone go??."

"I guess the recruits that are out on that navigation exercise pissed off some locals and shite hit the fan." He explained, handing you your food. 

“That sucks..” you say, taking a bite of cheeseburger. “How come you didn’t go?”

Ghost rolls his eyes, “I’m not about to leave you here fending for yourself. How else would you eat?”

“I’d manage, I’m not a baby.” you protest, your eyes flashing at him.

“Doesn’t mean you should have to, Kas.” He answers. “I need a shower, put that show on you were talking about earlier.” he says as he grabs some sweatpants and a fresh shirt from his dresser. He winks at you as he walks across the room to his bathroom. 

God he's so fucking hot you think to yourself as he disappears behind the door. You hear him turn on the shower, you're still sitting there staring at the bathroom door trying to process everything. Good lord get it together. You turn on the TV, flipping to the show Ghost was talking about. You’d finished Virgin River and had started Outlander. Again for the 5th time, it was your favorite for obvious reasons. You finished your burger, threw away the container and changed your shirt quickly while he was still in the bathroom. Settling in bed again, thankful for the better mattress, you waited for him to finish up. 

He came out several minutes later wearing his usual balaclava, a tight black tshirt and an ungodly sinful pair of sweatpants. You thought that he looked hot in his uniform but this, this is some top tier stuff of dreams. He catches you staring. “What?”

“Nothing. I just never pictured you without 50 things strapped to you at all times in a uniform. It’s different.” you say. He raises his eyebrow at you, you can see whats visible of his face now that he’s washed all his usual eyeblack off. “What's that scar from? The one on your eyebrow,” you ask. 

“Took the butt of a gun to the face a few years ago.” he says simply. “Makes me look tough, I think.”

“Yeah Simon, it’s the scar. That’s the whole reason.” You say sarcastically. ”Couldn’t be your massive, 6 foot something, skull mask, chip on your shoulder-’I’ll kill you’- vibe you’ve got going on over there.”

“I’m really not that mean, I don’t know why everyone thinks I am. I don’t even talk to anyone, hardly.” he says.

You shoot him some massive side eye and then roll them. “No you just brood and stare at people.” He let out a lound, genuine laugh. A sound you dont think you'd ever heard. “Do you ever take it off? Your mask?" You ask out of impulse. 

"You're full of questions today." He muses, "I do when I'm alone. Sometimes with Price since he already knows what I look like. Can't afford to any other time really."

"What do you mean?" You ask.

"I'm legally dead, love." He says as he shrugs his shoulders. 

"OH. Well that makes sense." You say. Falling into comfortable silence with him. You hadn't know that about him. There's a ton of things you're dying to ask but don't. Soon, you look over and see that he's quietly fallen asleep. Chin down on his chest, exhausted from his day no doubt. You grab your blanket off his bed you made him grab from your room because it’s so cold in here, and lay it over him. How you managed to not wake him up was a miracle you thought. You shut off the tv and quickly fall asleep too. 

__________________________

Ghost jolts awake, his heart racing as he realizes you’re screaming. He looks up and sees you tangled in your blankets and thrashing in your sleep. He knows you’ve been having problems with nightmares since the attack, he had seen the worst of it in the hospital. He had left for a minute to grab something to eat and heard your screams from down the hall. It worried him as much then as it does now. 

He quickly gets up, leaning down at the side of his bed and trying to gently wake you.”Kas.. Kas, come on, wake up.” he says softly as he runs a hand over your cheek. 

Your eyes snap open, and you gasp for breath, your body trembling with the intensity of the nightmare. As you start to register your surrounds, the fear begins to recede. You look up to see Ghost beside you, he worried eyes locked onto yours.

“Hey, its ok, love.” He murmurs, still rubbing your cheek, “you’re safe, it was just a dream.”

You slowly calm down, your breathings returning to a more normal rhythm. You hadn’t dreamed of being set on fire in months, but tonight it had come rushing in. You were back there, lying on the ground outside of Grave’s bunker, the flames had burned out to nothing but the pain was a white hot, blinding force. It had always been the same nightmare, seeing Shadow Company soldiers walking away from you, laughing as they left you for dead. The knowledge that your teammates had died, you had watched it happen and heard their screams. Tonight, you could feel Simmons' hands on your charred body. An unwelcome addition to an already horrific scene. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, embarrassed about waking him. He starts to stand up and you grab gently grab his wrist. “Please don’t leave me.”

Your stare at him, your eyes wide and pleading still laced with the panic you had moments ago. How on earth can he even say no? "Alright.." he sighs, "move over." Ghost slowly climbs in bed as you scoot back from the edge to make room. He turns to face you and grabs you, sliding you closer and tucking your head under his chin. He breathes in the smell of your shampoo, closing his eyes and savoring it. His fingers tracing small circles on your back. 

As you nestled closer to him, his strong protective embrace offered you an immediate sense of safety and comfort. Your racing heart gradually slowed, and the teror from the nightmare began to ebb away. His presence was a balm to your frayed nerves, and you could feel yourself relax in his arms.

The two of you lay there in silence, wrapped in each others warmth. His fingers continued their soothing circles on your back, a gentle reassurance that he was there, that you weren’t alone. You could hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and it provided a calming backdrop to the chaotic thoughts that had plagued your mind moments ago.

“You don’t have to apologize, Kas,” Ghost whispered softly. “I’m here and i’m not going anywhere.”

His words were like a lifeline, and you clung to them. The shared moment of vulnerability brought you closer, the walls between you crumbling just a little more.

For Ghost, this was a side of him that very few people ever saw. He was known for his stoic demeanor and unshakable composure, but here, in the stillness of the night, he was just Simon, a man who had seen his share of darkness and understood the pain of nightmares.

You closed your eyes, feeling the rise and fall of his chest against your forehead, and gradually you found solace in his embrace.

“I was on fire again.. I can still feel it sometimes.” you whisper. “They just left me there.”

Ghost stills. He knew what had happened to you, but hearing you say it out loud, the raw vulnerability in your voice, brought the reality of your trauma into sharp focus. He gently tightens his hold around you. He knew that there was nothing he could say to erase those memories, nothing that could undo the pain you’d suffered. “I’m so sorry, Kas.” he murmured, his voice barely above a breath. “No on deserves that.” With Ghost’s embrace as a shield against the lingering darkness, you eventually fell back asleep.

Ghost woke first the next morning, you had both slept soundly after your nightmare. You were still nestled in his arms, resting against his chest, your steady breathing and the feeling of your warmth against him served as a soothing balm to his restless soul. He watched you sleep for a while, your features relaxed and peaceful, and he couldn’t help but to gently take his hand and trace your scarred cheekbone. He gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face, savoring the simple intimacy of the moment.

He had his own share of inner demons, and being able to provide you with comfort, even if in a small way, brought him a sense of peace he seldom experienced. Maybe he could be deserving. Maybe he could be worthy of reciprocation from you. He had spent years guarding his heart, building walls around it to protect himself from the harsh realities of his world. But in you, he had found someone who understood the darkness he carried. Your trust in him, your kindness, and the bond that you’d formed over the last few weeks had chipped away at those walls. He knew that the scars on his body were nothing compared to the scars that ran deep within his psyche. His past was a minefield of trauma and secrets, and he had carried the weight of his actions and choices for years. It was a heavy burden that he wasn’t sure he could ever fully share with anyone. But with you, there was a sense of understanding, a shared pain that seemed to bridge the gap between your two worlds. 

Ghost wanted so badly to kiss you but he knew after what happened with Simmons, he couldn’t. Not yet. But God, with you laying in his arms, one of your legs laced through his, he was struggling. Honestly, he had wanted to fuck you six ways from Sunday the second you walked into Price's office when you first got here. Last night, when you had asked him to get into bed with you he knew it was going to be a huge struggle to keep control of himself. He respected you too much and he knew you were still hurting in more ways than one. And what he wanted to do to you wouldn’t be gentle. It took all of his will power to pull himself away from you and force himself into the shower, letting his hand release all of his frustrations instead

Chapter Text

Shortly after Ghost left the bed, you wake up, as if your body sensed the sudden emptiness. Yawning, you sit up and stretch, wincing a bit at your side. The events of the night played over in your mind, and as awful the nightmare had been, having Ghost hold you was.. Ugh, so good. The woodsy, deep smell of him is even stronger around you after having faded from his sheets after the first night. You can’t help but to smile. It feels good to feel GOOD. You’ve so rarely allowed yourself that in a long time. You grab your phone and see that Price has texted you and let you know that the team should be back today, apparently the locals weren’t a huge issue and once your team had gotten there it was handled quickly. You want to speak with him and you’re going stir crazy so you start mentally preparing to get back out into the world. Being in a cocoon here with Ghost was great, but you can’t stay forever. 

Ghost comes out of the bathroom finally, shirtless. Your jaw drops. “Holy shit.” you say,“That should be illegal. Like really it’s honestly disrespectful for you to look that good, I’m not even going to lie. Jesus Christ. Warn a girl first, I just woke up.” 

Ghost grabs a fresh shirt, yanking it over himself, much to your dismay, and laughs. 

“Hey, by the way, I was thinking..” you say, “Everyone’s coming back today and I really need to talk to Price. And everyone really, I’m tired of being cooped up in here, no offense. Is there any way you can grab a uniform for me from my room real quick? I just don’t think I can. I hate to even ask, after all you’ve already don-”

He holds his hand up, “Don’t start that, it’s fine, I’ll go grab your stuff.” he says and leaves. He returns a few minutes later and drops everything on his bed. “Here, hopefully that’s all you need. I’ve got a meeting with Kortac so I have to run but I’ll see you later, yeah? He's my extra set of room keys in case you can't find me."

“Yeah, thanks, go I’ll be fine.” He leaves and you quickly change your bandage and get dressed, taking extra care to not lift your arms a whole lot. The pain is getting better but you hate the feeling of the stitched pulling in your skin, it always feels like your skin is just going to split open. You take the time to pick up your mess, deciding to do your laundry today since you have time. Quickly, you make the bed and leave, heading towards the dining hall. 

Once you get there, the room quiets briefly and you see some whispers between people but you do your best to ignore it. You grab some food and sit down at the table with everyone.

Soap, "Holy shite, lass, you're back!" He jumps up and comes around the table to give you a quick hug. "I was wondering if you'd make it out of Ghost's room alive." He jokes.

"Barely." You laugh. 

Gaz gives you a small hug, "Stabbed huh? That's fucking rough. You doing ok?"

"I'm fine. It's less sore every day. I think I go back in a few days so they can take the stitches out and check things over." You answer. 

"Good, good." He says, you can tell he wants to ask more. Soap and you exchange a long glance and he very subtly shakes his head answering your silent question. He hasn't told him and the dining room isn't the place to do so, so you spend the rest of breakfast talking about the huge fuck up that they had to go fix the night before. They both always get so animated when telling stories and you love listening. 

"So Soap, he runs towards this building yeah? Some of the local militia had holed up in there and get this, one of them peeks out a top window and shoots a fucking RPG at him. I swear it's more than bad luck, mate's cursed." Gaz is in tears laughing. 

"Every time, every single time, I swear." Soap says shaking his head. 

“Remind me to stay far away from you next mission.” you laugh.

After breakfast, you head towards Price’s office. The familiar smell of cigar smoke outside his door lets you know he’s in there, you knock.

“Come in - Oh hey Kasper!” He says as you step inside. “How’s the side feeling?”

“Better, sore, but better.” you answer as you sit down.

“Ghost told me about the room situation,” He says with a soft look on his face. “I found someone you can trade with. Once I get this report done I’ll help out. I think they’re already emptying theirs out so it shouldn’t take long. Ghost already volunteered to grab all your things out of there a little bit ago. And no, don’t say sorry, I know that look on your face. It’s fine, and honestly I'm sorry for not even thinking about it. It was hectic after what happened.”

“You couldn’t have known, even I didn't know I’d freak out like that really.” you say

“Either way, it’ll be handled. I do want to say sorry though, for all of it love. It was my doing that they were even here to begin with. I ignored both of their behavior, should have gotten rid of them at the first sign of trouble but I didn’t. I just wanted you to know that.”

“I don’t blame you, please don’t blame yourself. There’s no way you could have even guessed he would go that far. It’s not on you. I’m not upset with you, the blame belongs to him. You’ve been nothing but kind since I got here. You’ve treated me like I belonged, and can’t thank you enough.” you tell him.

Price leans back in his chair, “That’s enough of that, you’ll turn this old man into a sap.” He laughs. “Speaking of..” He raises his eyebrow, “I hear Ghost has finally pulled his head out of his arse. How’s that going?”

“OH, uhhh, well? Good, I think. He’s been a huge help. It’s weird to see him like this. Did you know he’s actually funny? Like, I’m shocked. Never saw it in him.” you answer. 

Price lets out a loud laugh, “Ghost is one of my best friends, we go way back. I’ve seen a change in him since you’ve gotten here, didn’t know the lad had it in him really. Bravo. Be patient with him. That’s all I ask…" He takes a long drag of his cigar. "Alright that’s enough, get out of here, go rest. I’ll call you when you can get into your new room.”

“Thanks cap, I appreciate it.” You say as you leave.

On the way to Ghost’s room, you run into Keegan and he scoops you up in a big hug. “You’re alive!! I thought we’d have to send in a recovery unit to drag you out of the spooky dungeon.” he laughs.

You giggle as he sets you down, wincing a bit at your side. “Shut up, I’m fine. It’s good to see you. You guys been keeping busy?”

“Yeah, OH we got a new team member, you are going to love her. She’s awesome, not like Angel at all, don’t give me that look. We’re going to have to go out and play some pool or something. We wen’t out a few nights ago and she hustled our whole fucking group. I think I’m in love.” he says, as you walk down the hall with him. 

“Good! You guys need humbling every once in a while. Let me know when you go out again, I’ll come.” you stop at Ghost’s door. “Hey, real quick, we’re cool right? I feel bad, there was a lot going on and after we hooked up it just got a little weird.”

“Look, Kas.” He sighs. “I do like you, I mean I’m not an idiot, you’re you. But I get it. I still want to fuck you again but I’d like to not die. Pretty sure Ghost would kill me. I could see it a mile away, he’s more obvious than he thinks. It’s fine. I knew what I was stepping into.”

“Alright, I just wanted to make sure. Thanks for not being weird about it because I was STRESSING this.” you laugh. “See ya, Keegs.” You take Ghost’s extra set of keys he lent you and let yourself inside his room, locking the door behind you. It’s not even 10am and you’re already exhausted. Stupid pills. Stupid side. You flopped down onto the bed and started scrolling through your emails. You had accepted an offer on your house when you were in the hospital and you had a ton of stuff to sign on those stupid electronic forms. It takes you a good hour to get it all done but it’s a huge weight off your shoulders. You can’t wait to close and just be done with everything. And honestly you made money on the deal so all your years of saving didn’t go to waste. Maybe you could find something else nearby here, you'd have to talk to Price about how long you would even be here. But not today. Just a thought.

A little while later Price calls and says to meet you in your new room. You grab what things you have in Ghost’s room and head there, some of it you’ll have to go back for, it’s too heavy to carry all at once and it irks you. It’s just a constant reminder of what happened and why you’re on a weight restriction.

You finally get to the room and notice you too now have a queen sized bed and want to jump up and down, you would have if you could. You see Price and Ghost shuffling things around. Ghost is hanging up your clothes Price is shoving boxes towards the bathroom. “You’ll have to sort this shite out, Kas, I have no idea what is what with all this. I put it all in one box, sorry.” Price says, shaking his head.

“Hey I like my potions cap, what can I say?” you laugh, and hear Ghost chuckle over in the corner. “I’ve got it from here guys, really you’ve done enough.”

“Alright, let me know if you need anything, here’s your new keys.” You swap out keys with him, giving your old ones to him. “See ya later Kasper.” 

Ghost walks over to you and nervously clears his throat, “Hey I found these in your desk, I didn’t want to lose them so I put them in my pocket.” He holds out your old rings you had forgotten you tossed in there. “He’s smaller than me,” He winks and you slap his chest, “WHAT? I meant his hands, love.”

“Riiight. God I forgot they were even there.” You say as he drops them into your hand. “Thanks, Ghost.”

“I told you it’s Simon, love.” He rolls his eyes, “You going to be ok in here?”

It hadn’t really hit you until now just how used you had gotten to being with Ghost all the time. You take a deep breath, “Yeah, it’s fine, I’ll be alright.”

“Ok…” He looks around, almost shyly, he just awkwardly stands by your door. Oh that’s a new look from him.

“Go, get back to work, I know you have a lot to do, don’t let me stop you.”

“Fine, I’ll go. Text me if you need anything, yeah?” He says.

“I WILL, now go.” You giggle, putting the rings down on your new desk. He takes a last look around and finally leaves and you give him a little wave. God he’s so fucking cute. Look at him being awkward.

________________________

The next few days pass quietly as you settle into your new room. The first night there you got most of your things put away where you needed. Ghost stopped by every evening to hang out for a while and check on you and you appreciated it. You’d grown used to sharing your space with him, just him be nearby made you feel safer. The nights were rough though, you did have several nightmares. Not that you would be telling Ghost that. You’d deal with them on your own like you always had before. You started seeing a therapist finally, trying to unpack a lot of your shit. It sucked. You hated it. But you knew you needed it. Things had just become too hard to deal with. Everything from losing your parents, to the attack was more than anyone should ever have to go through and you understood that. You’ve officially entered your *healing era* and it felt good. 

Later in the week, everyone was going out and you decided to finally join them. You had been able to cut back on your pain meds and switch to just regular over the counter stuff. You'd been dying to go out but didn’t like the idea of being doped up during. That evening, Ghost came by your room to get you, he had offered to drive and you were happy to see him. It had been a few days, he had been on a mission with Soap that went over longer than expected. Walking up to his car, he opens the passenger door for you, shutting it once you got settled. He gets in and you drive quietly to the bar, enjoying that comfortable silence you've grown so used to. Once you reach the bar and he parks you go to open your door and he shoots you a look and you roll your eyes as he gets out and comes around to open it for you, holding your hand and helping you up. "How's your side?" He asks as he takes note of your small wince. "It's fine, your car is just too low, I don't know how your tall ass gets in and out of here so easy." He laughs, still holding your hand tight and you walk into the bar. 

The whole gang is here and you see Keegan motion you over first. 

"Kas! Hey, this is Holly, our new teammate." He says as he puts his arm around her. 

"Oh my god, you're real. I thought Keegan was pulling my leg. I've heard so much about you! You're like a living fucking legend girl." She says as she gives you a hug. 

"Oh I don't know about that." You answer. "Nice to finally meet you! You keeping all those idiots in line over there?" 

"Hey! I'm only half an idiot." Keegan says.

"On a good day, maybe." She says, punching him in his arm and laughing. You already love her and you can see why Keegan was so excited about her. 

You say hello to everyone else there and get settled on a barstool next to Holly. She leans over and whispers, "I met Ghost the other day and NEVER did I picture that man holding hands with someone. He must have it bad bad for you." She giggles.

"God, you have no idea. He's a total sweetheart. And don't you dare tell Keegan, he would never live it down." You say.

"Are you guys like together-together? Please tell me you are, I bet he's great in the sack. He walks like it's big."

"Oh my god… I wish. I really wish. We haven't done anything. It's a long story but like, it's so weird now. He's said a few things to me but I don't know. He was there for me when I needed him and we've gotten close but it's in this weird limbo stage." You say, watching him and he and Keegan start a game of pool. "What about you and Keegan??"

"Nothing.. yet," she laughs. "Speaking of, I wanted to ask since I don't like anything being weird, did you two, you know?? He just talked about you a lot and I got that vibe about it."

"We did, just once a while back. But there's not anything between us. It was.. the product of frustration, not even between each other. We're cool now, it's done. You need to get you some of that though I will say that."

"I totally appreciate your honesty. That makes me feel better, I didn't want to step on any toes or anything because I FULLY intend on getting a piece of him. How could you not, holy shit. I think it's the mask, we both have issues." She laughs. 

You spend the next few hours talking with Holly, it turns out she is also a sniper and grew up really close to where you did. It feels so nice to have another girl here you can gossip with and talk to. You hadn't realized how much you'd missed it. Throughout the night, Ghost kept coming over to check on you, bringing you water sometimes if he noticed your glass was empty. Each time he did, he had gotten more bold, either tucking a stray hair behind your ear, or touching your thigh while he was talking to someone else. It was driving you wild. 

Eventually everyone starts to clear out. You hug Holly and laugh as she gets led out of the bar by Keegan, who waves at you and winks. You're happy he's maybe found someone so awesome. He needs someone that can keep him on his toes. You busy yourself cleaning up the table like you always do, finding a trash can and throwing away what you can then stacking the glasses up. Ghost comes up behind you and gently grabs your waist, "Come on, leave it, lets go." He whispers into your ear.

He keeps a hand on your hips as you walk back outside to his car and he once again opens it for you, letting you get settled before closing the door. He gets in and starts the car, throwing an arm up behind your seat to back out. You lock eyes with him and smile. You can see the crinkles around his eyes as he returns one behind his mask. You start heading back to base, and halfway there you turn in your seat to face him, "I like Holly, she's really fun." 

"Mhm." He says quietly. He's shifting in his seat. "Fuck, Kas, if I'm going to get us back to base you're going to have to stop staring at me, I can't bloody focus." The man does look like he's struggling and you giggle. "That's not helping." He groans. 

You take your hand and put it over the top of his where it rests on the shift knob. You see him briefly close his eyes and a low sound hums from deep in his chest. "Do you know how hard it is to not pull this car over and fuck you over the hood of it? Fuck. I've had to stare at you all night in that skirt, love. I can't take it." 

Feeling emboldened by his very apparent struggle, you take your hand back and slowly start to slide your skirt a little higher, "You mean this one? I could always just take it off then." 

"You fucking minx," he groans and you laugh. "You're enjoying this aren't you? Have some pity on a man, would you?" He speeds up and finally you get to base. He parks and in an instant it seems he's on your side of the car, helping you out. He keeps a firm hand on the small of your back, guiding you towards your rooms. You near your door and start to slow.

"I don't think so, love." He grunts out, gently pushing you past it, "you're coming to mine." 

You finally reach his door and he opens it, following you inside and locking the door behind him.

Chapter Text

Ghost leans his back up against the door, crossing his arms and feet in front of him. His eyes are focused on yours as he takes a few jagged breaths. "I'm only going to ask this once, love. If you aren't comfortable with this, after what happened, tell me now." 

His asking for consent just about makes you feral. 

You take a few steps closer to him, stopping right in front of him. Your hand reaches out, gently touching his chest. You can feel his wild heartbeat under your palm. He hasn’t moved an inch, clearly holding onto the last of his self-restraint until he gets an answer. 

Ghost knows he can't let himself touch you until you make it clear it's ok, because if he did he wouldn't be able to stop. 

You can hear his breath quicken and you feel a groan rumble in his chest, vibrating on your hand. Hesitantly, you reach up to his face. Stopping as you get to the bottom of his mask, you search his eyes for permission, and Ghost, sensing the question nods, almost imperceptibly. You slowly lift up the bottom, uncovering his lips. Leaning in, you brush your own lips gently against his in a tender kiss. “I want this.” you whisper against his mouth, “Please.” You reach down and grab his arms, guiding them to your waist as you press your body against his. Your heart is beating so fast you wouldn't be surprised if it exploded. Ghost pulls away and your eyes meet, his filled with such intensity as they search yours that you almost melt where you stand. With his mask lifted halfway, you can see the outline of his chiseled jaw, softly lit by his desk lamp. He leans his forehead onto yours and kisses you again. His lips are.. so fucking perfect. He kisses you with such hunger and longing that it feels like you left your body. He lets go of your waist to snake one hand behind your head and another on your cheek and pours himself into the kiss as if it's his last remaining lifeline on this earth. 

Breaking away again, he reaches up and yanks off his mask, pulling your face back into a kiss that has moaning for more. He returns the sound with a growl and lets go of your head, never breaking the kiss to take off his gloves and toss them on the floor. He needs to feel your skin. He runs his hands over your arms. Every touch of his fingers on you gives you goosebumps. He gently grabs your waist and spins you, pulling you backward with him as he sits on the edge of his bed. You climb into his lap straddling him and he grabs your hips, pulling you closer. Finally, you break the kiss, desperately needing to breathe. You keep your eyes down on his lips, not knowing if it's truly ok to look at his face. 

"It's alright," he says, "you can look, Kas." He always seems to know what you're thinking. You slowly look up and moan. Any idea of what you thought he looked like wasn't even close to how fucking perfect he was. The faded scar going down over his high cheekbone and ending at his sharp jawline only made it more so. There’s a hint of stubble there, showing he can grow a beard but chooses not to. 

You let out a groan, “Holy shit...” You let your arms drape around his shoulders He digs even further into your hips, holding you still against him as he rolls his hips forward, clearly struggling to maintain control. You desperately try to grind into him, seeking any form of pleasure, your hips have a mind of their own and you let out a whimper. 

He moans, kissing you again, slowly moving from your mouth down to your neck, and he traces your scars with his lips. “God you are so fucking perfect baby.”  Baby? Oh my gooood, holy shit. He slides his arms around your waist and with a small grunt he stands to turn and lie you down on your back. As he lets go, he slips his hands under the hem of your shirt and pulls it up over your head. You’re suddenly very aware of the scars that continue down from your chest to your abdomen and you look down. He reaches a hand out, grabbing your chin and raises your face back up meet your eyes. “Don’t do that, you’re beautiful, Kas.”

“Can we shut off the lamp? Please?” you ask him. He lets go of your face and walks over to the lamp, shutting it off and then removing his shirt. Reaching for you again, he places his hand on top of your thighs and gets on his knees between your legs. Reaching up, he pulls your skirt and panties off as you help him, pushing on his bed frame with your feet to lift your ass. He tosses them over his shoulder and grabs behind your knees, yanking you so far towards him that your ass is hanging off the bed and he gently pushes your thighs apart, spreading you open. He starts kissing your thigh, slowly making his way closer to your center. Once he reaches it he takes his tongue, flattening it against you to lick a broad stroke through your slickness. You let out a whimper at first contact, already so on edge but it was nearly drowned out by his own groan, “You taste so fucking good love.” He licks you over and over, eliciting a loud moan, each swipe with his tongue sending waves of pleasure straight to your core. Ghost wasn’t lying when he said it, he was truly fucking obsessed with your taste. Your hands grab the sheets and uncontrollably lift yourself higher, grinding yourself further into his face. He slowly runs a finger through your folds and slides it inside, pumping in and out and adding another, his lips latching onto your clit. 

As he slowly curls his fingers perfectly inside of you, you can feel yourself unraveling. “P-please, I’m so close, don’t stop.” you whimper, taking one hand and gently grabbing his hair. Hearing your pleas, he groans and pumps his fingers faster. The vibrations of it coupled with his fingers send you flying over the edge and you arch your back, riding the wave as you shatter around them. He continues pumping them through your climax, prolonging it. “Fuck.. oh fuck.” you let out breathlessly. He withdraws his fingers to stand up and help you slide back further onto the bed. He undoes his pants and lets them drop to the floor, sliding his boxers off with them. He runs his tip through your folds, getting it wet from your juices. “I have to go slow with this part,” he says and when he starts to push into, you know why. He’s fucking huge . Every inch he slides in deeper has you groaning and panting and the sound of it drives him wild. It takes every ounce of control he has left to not slam into you. Once bottoming out he pauses, letting you stretch fully around him. “God I could fucking live inside of you, Kas.” And he could. He could one hundred percent stay there for the rest of his life. 

Slowly he starts to pump in and out, and you grip the sheets again. The pace he sets has your eyes rolling back into your head. Your whimpers quickly turn to curses. He nearly loses control at the sounds you make, and how fucking wet you are for him. He’s totally lost in it, grunting out several curses of his own. He knows he’s close and has to stop, he doesn’t want it to be over yet. He pulls out, taking a step back and you almost cry out at the sudden emptiness. “Fuck, Kas, roll over.”

You can barely register what he’s saying but you manage to roll to your stomach and arch your back down, lifting your ass into the air. He steps forward again, grabbing a hip and guiding himself back inside of you. The new angle has you seeing stars and you bury your face into the sheets to muffle your scream. You push back, fucking back into him. “Good fucking girl, you take me so well baby.” he groans. He reaches under you, rolling your clit between his fingers and you explode around him, “Oh my god, Simon.”

When he hears his name leave your lips, he lets out a loud groan as it throws him into his own orgasm. You can feel him throbbing, his release spilling inside of you as he holds onto your hips so hard that you’ll probably have bruises tomorrow but you couldn’t care less.

“Fucking hell baby,” he says as he slides out and just stands there and stares blankly, totally out of his own mind. 

“Fucking hell, yourself. Holy shit.” You say, rolling onto your back and staring at the ceiling trying to catch your breath. Your side aches a bit and you reach across yourself to touch it briefly out of habit. You hear Simon go into his bathroom and after several moments he returns to hand you a towel. "Tha.. that wa.." you stumble on your words as you clean yourself up. "GOD I think you fucked me stupid, Simon." 

You hear him laugh as he crawls into bed, gesturing for you to lie with him. You're still halfway hanging off his bed and you force your legs to work enough to wiggle your way up to him. Once you manage it, he wraps his arms around you and pulls your back tight against his chest. He plants a gentle kiss in your hair, “I love you, Kasper.” he says. 

“I love you too Simon.” you sigh. Both of you lie there, enjoying the post-sex high. His fingers rub across your knuckles as he holds your hand tightly against your chest. He throws his leg over yours, needing to be even closer and you both quickly drift off to sleep.

________________________

The next morning, you wake first. At some point in the night, you both had rolled to your backs, legs still entangled under the sheets. Opening your eyes you feel his presence next to you and grin, thinking over the events from last night. You carefully slide out of bed and lock yourself in his bathroom and allow yourself to do a little happy dance. You're so deliciously sore and you bite your lip. God that was the best sex of my life, holy shit. You finish up and try to compose yourself, hearing him stirring from outside the bathroom. You open the door and he's still lying in bed and he grins at you. He lifts up the covers for you and you crawl back in, fitting yourself in the space he's created as he wraps his arms around you.

"Morning, baby." He says, sleep still heavy in his voice. 

You grin up at him, lost in how fucking perfect he looks. Reaching up, you trace the faint scar on his face and plant a gentle kiss on his lips. "Morning." 

"Careful, love, we won't make it out of here if you do that.” he whispers, burying his face into your neck and planting a kiss under your jaw. His alarm goes off and he groans, you can feel the vibration of it on your throat. He reaches over you, grabs his phone and shuts it off. He kisses you again before sliding down around you and out of bed, walking still naked to his bathroom. Greek fucking GOD I swear. You kick your legs around like an idiot trying to stifle any squeals you’re making in your head. You quickly get up and hunt around your room for your clothes, hurrying up and getting dressed. He comes out and digs around his dresser, grabs what he needs, and gets dressed. You fall back into the comfortable silence you’ve shared so many times before. It takes him longer to get dressed and you sit on his bed watching him. It’s fascinating to watch how methodical he is, and you see him in an entirely new light. He sits down in his recliner to lace up his boots, shooting you a wink, then stands up. He kisses you one last time, grabbing your chin and tipping your face up to his before slipping his mask back on and Simon leaves, remaining Ghost in his place.

“Covering that thing up should be a damn crime, Simon,” you say.

He laughs, “Don’t have a choice, love. I knew I was good-looking.” 

You groan and roll your eyes, standing up to slip your heels on. “Welp, time to do the walk of shame.” you joke. “This should be good.”

Ghost opens the door and the both of you walk out as he’s laughing. “Shame huh? That’s a bit harsh innit?” 

“Shut up you know what I mean.” you laugh and he walks behind you to your room. You make it there without seeing anyone thank God

You open your door and walk inside and he leans an arm on your doorway, the other grabbing your wrist and spinning you to face him. You see him glace back and forth down the hall and he lifts up his mask just enough to uncover his mouth and gives you a quick peck before yanking it back down, “See you later, love.” he says, winking at you and walking off. You stare after him grinning like an idiot.

Chapter Text

A little while later, you're freshly showered and dressed for the day, just in time to hopefully catch the last of breakfast. As you walk into the dining hall, your eyes can't help but to search for Ghost hoping he's still there, but he isn't. You sigh and grab a tray finding a seat next to Holly. The two of you share a long look and start laughing.

"You too, huh? I know that 'I just got fucked' look anywhere." She laughs. 

"God I can hardly sit down." You say laughing with her. 

"Same, girl, same." She says. “I gotta run, I’m already late,  text me though!” 

You wave  goodbye and finish up your breakfast. Grinning to yourself like an idiot the whole time. 

You feel your phone vibrate, it’s Price. 

8:46 AM

PapaPrice: Meeting in 15, briefing room.

Dial: 10-4

Gazaroo: Copy

Simon: Running late, start without me

Kasper: Got it pops.

Ten minutes later you’re sitting in the briefing room with Soap and Gaz, playing on your phone, waiting for Price to walk in. Soap turns to you, “Ghost seems like he’s in a good mood this morning.. Wonder what that’s about.”

You barely glance up from your phone at him, “Wouldn’t know.” you say.

“Huh, that’s weird. He was awfully attentive to you at the bar last night. Just sayin’ lass.” he gives you a sly smile.

You roll your eyes at him, trying to hide your smile. You weren’t sure what Ghost was comfortable sharing since you didn’t get a chance to talk with him about it in the rush this morning. 

After a few minutes Price finally walks in with Ghost behind him. Ghost takes a seat next to you “My fault, sorry, got held up with recruits. They get dumber by the day I bloody swear.”

Price clears his throat as he opens his laptop and connects to the tv on the wall. He looks nervous and it scares you. He wasn't a man that ever got nervous. “Right. As you guys know, we’ve had a recon team looking for signs of Graves outside of Belarus. They were able to locate several warehouses outside of the city that we now know the Shadow Company are occupying. Last night, in the process of raiding one of them for intel, comms went dark. We don’t know what happened but Laswell and I are in agreement that the recon team has probably been detained. In a previous raid a week ago, we uncovered intel that they are now aware that Kasper is part of the 141. And Graves is pissed. He doesn’t like loose ends.” He stops and gives you a long look. “We are worried that he is trying to figure out where we are, he wants you gone Kas.” 

You feel Ghost gently reach under the table and give your leg a squeeze, but you barely feel it. A sense of dread settles in your chest as Price talks. What the fuck could Graves want with me? You look down at your hands. 

Price continues, “Hopefully, if the team was captured, they don’t share any intel but these guys weren’t exactly trained to withstand that. So really we don’t know what could happen.” He sighs, “Our only option at the moment is to go ahead and send someone there even without signs of life. We have to know what happened. Ghost, Soap, it’ll be the two of you.” You look over as Ghost nods, “I know that if either of you are captured, they won't be getting anything from you.”

“Acceptable losses, cap, we know the drill.” Ghost says sharing a long look with Soap. 

Price sighs, “I hate doing it this way but it’s our best shot. Wheels up in 5 hours. Pack light, leave cell phones behind, you know the drill. We need you to be able to get inside and download any intel you have to our servers. Look around, if you find the others, extract if at all possible without compromising yourselves. There is a safe house here, that you will start and finish from.” he zooms in the map on the tv, “We will drop you 8 clicks north this evening and you’ll travel there on foot overnight. Stay there the next day, rest up, and hit them tomorrow evening. Exfill will be on standby and it will not hold past its departure time. Be there.”

“Got it, sir.” Soap says, standing up to leave and clapping Ghost on the shoulder as he walks by him. 

“Gaz I need you to stay back and help me with this on comms, meet there at 1300 yeah?” Price says.

“Roger cap, I’ll see you there,” he answers as he leaves.

“Sir, I’m sorry.. I don’t know what to say. Why Graves wants me is beyond me.. There’s no reason for it that makes sense.” You start. Ghost still has a hand on your thigh and squeezes it again.

“Kasper, it isn’t your fault, ask Ghost.. He likes to hold grudges, specifically for the 141 team.” He laughs.

“He’s not wrong, love. Graves and I go way back. We’ll get this sorted, no worries.”

You both get up and leave, and you walk in front of Ghost in a fog. There ARE worries though. The biggest one being that the last people that said that didn’t make it home alive. You walk down the hall in silence, deep in thought as Ghost follows you to your room. Once the door is shut he takes a seat on the edge of your bed. As you move towards him he takes his mask off, tosses it to the side, and sighs, “Come here, love. What’s got you so upset? This is nothing but a standard intel and recovery mission. Same as the 100’s you and I both have done before.”

You sink down into his lap and tuck your head under his chin, “I know, I’m just.. I hate Graves. I hate him. He’s tough… I trust you though, I know you always come back. And I know it’s not really my place. I just hate not knowing what you guys are even walking into.”

“What do you mean it’s not your place?” he asks.

“I guess I just don’t know what we are. I know how I feel but I don’t know. We haven’t discussed any parameters, and I don’t want to interfere with anything. I know how it goes for people like us, trust me. The last time I was in a relationship with a teammate, he was killed. No matter what he turned out to be, to me he was my fiance and I cared about him and I lost him. I grieved him for a year and it nearly killed me. I can’t ask you to enter into something knowing what very well could be the outcome. And the fact that he’s after me? Say we do make this official or whatever you want to call it, what if he finds out what you mean to me? He will go after you too, Simon. It’s too much and I don’t think I can do it.”

Ghost is silent for a while. “I understand..” he starts turning you to face him, “But I have to say, I don’t agree with you. Not on this. There is always going to be a Graves. We will kill him and another, worse one will pop up somewhere, that’s the way this world works. I never believed in relationships, they’re a distraction quite frankly. Especially between teammates. It’s a hard rule of mine, I simply do not do it. But Kas, there’s not a rule I won't break for you. I’ve seen loss, darling, too much of it. Way too much.. But I think if I don’t allow myself to be selfish in this and to have you as mine, I will regret it for the rest of my life, however long or short that is. I don’t know how you did it, without even trying at all, but you did, you changed me. I want this. I want an us. I need it. I’m a fucking sap over you, love. Christ.”

His words touch your heart, and you can’t help but feel a mix of emotions. Ghost’s admission that he’s willing to break his own rules for you is a powerful statement, and it makes you realize the depth of his feelings for you. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes as you stare into his, a small smile on your lips. “Simon,” you say softly, “I want this too. I want us. I care about you more than I ever thought possible. I just don’t want you to regret it. To wake up one morning and realize that it’s not for you, that it’s too much of a distraction, I’m too much of a liability, or I’ve changed you too much and you miss not having to answer to anyone. I know how it goes. And what if something happens to me? Could you live with yourself? I can’t be the reason you’re destroyed.”

“It’s too late for that. Even if you push me away, if something happens to you now, I’m done for. And I accept that. Being with you or not won't change that, not ever. So stop. I am yours, Kas, if you want me or not. You’re it for me.”

You sigh, “You’re hard-headed you know that. It’s so frustrating.”

Ghost laughs, “It’s awful really, how much I love you. You’ve ruined me, truly.” He shifts you again in his lap so that you’re straddling him. Grabbing your face in between both of his hands, he kisses you. Softly at first but it quickly deepens and you moan against him. You can’t get enough, his kisses are so perfect, so filled with love it almost makes you blush. He runs his hands down your back, grabs your hips, and pulls you into him but it’s hard to get close with all of his and your gear on. “Alright, take it off love, all of it.”

You giggle as he shoves you off of his lap and you both start frantically undressing. He can’t get his boot untied and you hear him swearing. “Fuck, forget it, get over here and bend over,” he growls. He grabs your hips, forcing you to bend at your waist, your hands supporting you on your bed. He bends down and spits on your center before inserting two fingers and pumping them in and out at an excruciating pace. With the knowledge of how big he is you now know he does this just as much for prep as he does for pleasure. He curls his fingers, hooking them into your gspot and you can feel yourself clenching around him and you let out a whimper. “That’s right love, come for me, let me feel it.” His words send you over the edge and you somehow strangle a scream from escaping your lips. 

As Ghost feels your release, he suddenly removes his fingers and grabs your hip, slamming inside of you and you almost fucking leave your body. It’s too much all at once but you don’t care, you’re floating. “Oh my God, Oh my God Simon.” He frantically pumps faster and reaches around you snaking up between your breasts and grabs your throat, pulling you off the bed and back into him. He bites down on your shoulder while squeezing your throat and just as you think you’re going to pass out you explode around him again, setting Simon off at the same time. 

‘Fuck, Kas, fuck.” You hear him moan as he spills into you, releasing your throat to grab your hips again. He finishes and stays there for several long seconds, and you can feel him still twitching inside of you. Finally, he pulls out, grabbing your face and turning you around for another kiss, groaning into your mouth. “Bloody hell, love,” he says, still panting. 

You grin at him and watch as he tries to make it to make it to your bathroom and almost trips, forgetting his pants are around his ankles. It was a sight to behold. "I've never seen you less graceful." You laugh. He glares at you as he disappears into your bathroom, once again reappearing with a towel. You clean up and get dressed again, "you need to go pack." 

He finishes up strapping his thigh holster back on and looks up at you, "It'll be alright," he says sensing your anxiety. "I'm going to go talk to Price and pack and I'll see you on the tarmac yeah?"

"Sounds good." You say as he gives you a swift kiss before finally pulling his mask back on and leaving. 

_______________________

A few hours later, you had out to the tarmac with Soap. Once you reach the outside he turns to you, “It’ll be alrigh’ lass. I know you’re worried, I can see it.”

“Just be careful bodywash, that’s all. Don't do anything stupid. If I’ve learned anything is if you see you Shadow Company member, there are 10 more nearby, they’re like cockroaches. Listen for whistles. They like to use them to communicate, if you hear them they know someone is there so stay alert.”

“10-4 lass, good looking out. It’ll be fine though, we’ve taken on much worse,” he says.

You finally reach the airplane and see Ghost is already there, packing things away and checking over his weapons on the plane. You don’t say anything, you just watch him, not wanting to interrupt his ritualistic preparations. He’s in his element here and it shows, gone is the Simon you now know, Ghost is the only thing that remains and it’s a powerful sight. His commanding presence alone is enough to send fear into the hearts of enemies. He finally finishes, sits and re-tightens his gloves around his wrists, and looks up at you leaning on the cargo door. He slips off his hard skull mask and motions you over and you go sit next to him. “I’ll see you soon love. Back in 3 days time yeah?” his eyes searching yours.

You nod at him and put a hand on his shoulder before standing up and giving Soap a quick hug. “Alright boys, don’t have too much fun. I’ll be in on comms with Price and Gaz. Good luck. Oh and Soap? Don’t get fucking blown up.” you turn to walk away and hear them both laughing as they put on their headsets. Once clear the cargo door closes and the plane starts to move. You head back inside, taking one last glance as it readies for takeoff before slipping through the door. You quickly head to the comms room and meet up with the others. 

Once inside, you walk up to Price, he’s looking over a schematic of the warehouse. The one they're supposed to be infiltrating is the largest of the bunch, surrounded by groups of smaller buildings. There are marks all over it indicating guards and rotations. You sit down and study it and see something off. A long, wide path between two buildings is bare of snow. You zoom in on the screen and notice the edges are sharp, it doesn’t look like a footpath at all. “Hey Price, look at this. What do you think that is? Looks like there's a tunnel under there.”

He takes a second to study it. “Fuck. It looks like you’re right..” He scrolls the screen seeing a few more areas that are similar and it hits you both, everything is connected underground. And if that’s the case, this is a much larger operation than you had anticipated. Who knows how far down it goes. “Good catch, Kas,” he quickly turns and makes a phone call and you hear him speaking with Laswell as he walks off. Gaz comes over and looks it over nodding in agreement. 

“I’ll bet money that’s where the other team is. No wonder we lost comms.” he says.

Price comes back over, “Mission is still on, I’ll talk with Ghost about it once they land.” he doesn’t seem happy. “It’ll be alright. Both of you go get some rest, they should touch down in a few hours and start heading to the safehouse. Go eat, there’s not much we can do right now with them in the air. You too Gaz, I’ll need you sharp.” he waves you off, turning back to the screen and making another phone call.

You and Gaz leave and head to the dining hall, sharing a tense silence. Once you both grab your food and sit down he speaks up first. “I don’t like this.” 

You nod, “I’ve always hated going in blind. Just too many factors you can't control.” 

“They’re good though, it isn’t the first time. They always seem to manage. It can’t be that deep, the ground is too hard and they haven’t been there long. Chances are high it’s just a single level.” he takes a bite of food, “It’ll be alright. Always is.”

Chapter Text

The next night, you’re in the comms room. Ghost and Soap had landed yesterday and made their way to the safehouse uneventfully. You’d spent the day going over new plans with Price and Gaz, trying to figure out how complex the underground tunnels were. During the day, you had received updated satellite images and found that Gaz had most likely been correct. Whatever was underground didn’t seem to extend beyond the buildings so you felt a little better than you had the night before. 

There was still no word from the recon team and it had been roughly 48 hours now. The fact that the safehouse hadn’t been compromised told you either they were dead or they still hadn’t given up any information. As Ghost and Soap made their way to the warehouse, the entire room was tense. Laswell had approved close air support so the room was filled with people from Kortac and Keegan’s unit. Holly was sitting next to you holding her breath. At lunch, she has told you that she knew one of the men on the recon teams for years. It was tearing her up.

You look over at her and see anxiety all over her face, “They’ll find them, Holly.”

She turns to you and sighs, “Yeah, just in what condition?” she muses. 

You try to offer her a reassuring smile, though your own anxiety simmers just beneath the surface. “Ghost and Soap are two of the best operators out there. We’ve even got air support by some miracle. It’ll be alright.” You say, trying to desperately convince yourself that what you’re saying is true. You just have a gut feeling that something is off and you hate it. The tension in the room is palpable as you all listen in.

“Price, how copy?” you hear Ghost’s voice say.

Price, “You’re cleared to engage.”

You hear Soap's voice crackle through, “Affirmative. Bravo-6 going dark.” and then comms are cut off. They can’t risk their radios being heard and giving away their position. 

The next few minutes go by and you anxiously watch the screens, glad that air support is providing at least some type of visual. You can see them take out several Shadow Company soldiers with knives and make their way to the entrance of the warehouse. They stack up on either side of the door and you see them slip through, away from sight. The entire room tenses up. It’s never ideal to not have eyes or ears on a situation like this but it's a necessary danger. You feel Holly reach over and grab your hand and you squeeze it back, giving her a small smile. You both know what’s at stake. 

About 10 minutes later you start receiving intel uploads from them, a clear sign that they are alive and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Upload after upload comes through and with each one, you relax a little bit. You don’t see any movement outside of the warehouse or other buildings, the patrols on the other side of the warehouse are still standing around, unaware of what is going on. Finally, the uploads stop coming through but you don’t see your teammates exit.

After 20 minutes you start shifting anxiously in your seat and meet Price’s eyes. It shouldn’t be taking this long and you both know it. Gaz stands up in front of you and starts pacing, checking different screens. Others in the room start downloading the intel and trying to sift through it all, looking for any type of information on the recon team or anything helpful. 

Another 10 minutes pass and you join Gaz, needing to DO something. You pace around the room, finally ending up next to Price. He puts a hand on your shoulder, “I’m sure there’s good reason, Kas.” You nod. You don’t know if he’s trying to comfort you or himself. You glance at him again and walk back to Holly, who is white as a sheet by now. You stand behind her and squeeze her shoulders as she reaches up to grab one of your hands. Maybe it’s taking longer than expected to plant all the C4 charges. You had spoken at length about whether or not to blow the place up during the meetings today, finally settling on doing it. While it was an advantage to know where Grave’s had set up, being able to take out such a huge chunk of his resources was too tempting.

Suddenly, you see someone burst out of a door, carrying another man over one shoulder and they take off running. Soap’s voice comes through, frantically on comms, “Price, Price! Can you hear me?”

“I can, what’s the status?” Price answers.

“One survivor from the recon team, it’s bad Price. We need a med evac now, we won’t make it to the exfil. Tell me where to go.” Soap says, you can tell he’s struggling to carry the man.

“Copy, I’m sending the med evac coordinates to you now. Get yourselves there and do it fast. Where is Ghost?” Price says.

“He had to find another route. Oh SHI-” Soap starts to answer but then all you hear is the sound of gunshots ringing in the background. All hell breaks loose and your blood runs cold. They’re too close for overhead to even engage and there’s nothing you can do without knowing Ghost’s status. You hear the comms crackle but again all you hear are gunshots and then they go silent again.

“Get eyes on him NOW!” Price yells. After a few seconds, you see him burst through the trees still running. “Soap what happened in there?”

“We got tangled up in a hallway, Cap, everything was smooth until then, Ghost was behind me and told me to keep running.” he trails off.

“Soap, do you see that structure in front of you, we can lay down fire behind you but you’ve got to keep running, make it there and hold position.” Price instructs him.

“10-4 Cap.” Soap says.

Price takes a deep breath, and tells air support to go ahead and engage. It’s risky and too close but everyone in the room knows they won't make it out alive without it now that the Shadow Company knows where Soap has run to. “Soap, how copy?” he asks as he sees him reach the structure.

There’s nothing, no answer.

“Ghost how copy.”

Still no answer. Silence hangs in the air, choking the life from you.

"Fuck!" Gaz yells and stands up, slamming his fists down. 

Price tries to contact them again, "Soap, talk to me." 

Finally, he comes through, “I made it, what do we do, there’s no way I can make it to the med evac, you need to bring it closer. I have to go back for Ghost.”

Suddenly on the screen, you see the warehouse explode. GHOST . Your legs almost give out under you. The room falls into a deafening silence as the scene hits you like a sledgehammer. Your mind races, panic and dread taking hold as you imagine the worst. Gaz and Price immediately get to work to coordinate a closer med evac but you can’t focus on the details. Your hands are trembling as you clench them into fists. Keegan comes up behind you, catching you as you start to drop, and guides you into a chair. “Kas, Kas look at me. Eyes on me, it’ll be ok. We don’t know if he was in there for sure, we were all watching Soap.” Even he doesn’t sound convinced by his own words. 

Price barks orders, and you can hear the frantic back and forth over the comms. You force yourself to take deep breaths, trying to keep your emotions in check. The uncertainty of it all gnaws at your insides. After a few minutes, there’s no movement on the screen.

Soon, Soap’s voice crackles through again, “I’m all good here Cap. I don't know if Ghost… I don’t know. Maybe he hit the charges, he had the detonator.”

“Hold position, med evac is inbound, 10 minutes.” Price says, as he sits down and lights a cigar, staring blankly at the desk in front of him. The minutes seem to drag on as you all anxiously wait for the med evac team to arrive. You watch the clock, willing the seconds to pass faster. Finally, after waiting what feels like an eternity, you hear the whir of helicopter blades come through.

“I’ve got eyes on them Cap, I'll load up the rescue now. I’m going back for Ghost.” Soap says.

Price sighs, refusing to meet your gaze, “Negative. Get out of there. It's too much of a risk.”

_____________

Soap cusses to himself, loading the injured recon team member into the med evac. He knows what Price says is right. It’s too risky and the med evac can’t hold here. He goes over the last few hours in his head as he takes a seat up against the wall of the helicopter and watches the medical team quickly get to work. He starts yanking off his gear, desperate to take a full breath, and puts his head in his hands.

Everything had been going so smoothly, they made it to the safehouse the night before after a long hike without running into anyone. They had taken turns sleeping, getting what rest they could, and briefly discussing strategy when they were getting their gear ready to leave. Ghost had joked with him, “Let me take the C4 Johnny, you know your track record with this shite.” He had laughed and punched him in the arm but agreed. 

After dark, they had made their way to the warehouse and when it came time to go in, there were only a few Shadow Company members on patrol. Easy work. After getting inside, they found the building mostly empty. Only running into a handful of people in the halls that they quickly took down with their silenced pistols and dragged into rooms along the way to hide the evidence of them being there.

They had quickly found the server room, and he had immediately started uploading everything he could, plugging in devices to the different towers, counting down the minutes. Routine. Ghost had split off and began setting charges where he could. Once he was done with the intel he met up with Ghost in a hallway and they saw a hole in the floor with a ladder going down. They had exchanged glances and with a silent nod, they had both descended, if the recon team was here, this is where they would be, they had checked everywhere else. Creeping quietly down the hall, Soap taking rear position and walking backwards with his back against Ghost’s they had only run into a few people. Weird. Looking back he should’ve known better than to assume that the place was mostly empty. By chance, they had come across a room, 3 bodies piled in the corner wearing a familiar insignia. Ghost had grabbed their dog tags from their lifeless bodies. In the next room, he heard a scream and he and Ghost had burst in the door, slitting the throat of the man responsible for causing them. The fourth member of the recon team was strung up by his ankles to the ceiling, his body stripped of most of his clothing and he was covered in long gashes, dripping blood on the floor. He had cut him down and thrown him over his shoulder, headed first down the hallway this time, Ghost behind him. At the ladder, he had passed the man to Ghost, going up first then lifting him up with Ghost’s help. After getting the man up, he remembered hearing shouts from the hallway below, and Ghost had told him to go ahead. “Get out of here, Johnny, take him. GO.” 

“Ghost-”

“GO JOHNNY, I’ll find another way out! That’s an order!”

He remembered hearing gunshots, not knowing if it was Ghost shooting or them but he had grabbed the man and taken off, running outside and finding cover. When Price had instructed him to run for a structure, he was acting on autopilot. He knew he needed to listen but leaving Ghost behind was something he would never forgive himself for if he didn’t make it out. The guilt was already threatening to ruin him. 

When the warehouse exploded, his heart sank even further. Surely Ghost wouldn’t detonate unless he had found a way out. Maybe through one of the tunnels. But even then would he be able to survive the blast? How far had he actually made it? He wanted to go back, go look for him, but it would be useless, he knew it.

As he felt the helicopter take off, he could only hope that Ghost had gotten out and was headed back to the safehouse. There was no movement he could see from the sky, just piles of metal, burning wood, thick smoke filled the air as the med evac pulled away from the scene.

Chapter Text

The next few hours feel like an eternity as you and the others anxiously wait for any word on Ghost. The room’s tension and silence weighed heavy on everyone. Each passing minute deepens the concern and you can’t help but feel helpless.

After Soap’s departure on the med evac with the surviving recon team member, Price dismissed air support and ordered the team to stand down. The sudden stillness in the room only amplifies the sense of unease, and the haunting possibility of Ghost’s fate looms large in everyone’s minds.  You can’t focus on anything else, your thoughts are consumed by worry and anxiety for the man you’ve grown to love. The hours feel like a cruel test of patience, created specifically for your own personal hell. Price sits across from you with Gaz and they too reflect the same thoughts in their eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Price says to you both. “I know it was the right call but it doesn’t feel like it.”

“Ghost would’ve been spitting mad if you hadn’t Price.” Gaz says.

You can’t say anything. To hear Gaz talk about Ghost in past tense nearly rips your heart out of your chest and you just stare at the wall behind them. 

“Kasper.. Kas.” your eyes snap to Prices. “There’s a chance he made it. Soap said that he had the detonator, yeah? The man’s an idiot but he wouldn’t blow himself up. My guess is he found an escape tunnel. It won't be but a few hours until he can even make it to the safehouse.”

You look down at your hands. You hadn’t seen other anomalies on the satellite images from earlier. There was nothing to suggest tunnels leading away, it had just looked like the buildings were connected. There’s a possibility, but it would've had to have been deeper than the rest to not melt the snow on top. You chew your lip, unable to even speak. Everything is compounded by what you had already lost to Graves. How much will this man take from you and everyone else? When will it be enough? 

“I’m going to eat and head to the hospital, come on. Let's go. We’ve got things to handle there.” Price says. He makes a phone call to Laswell real quick to get someone back in the rooms to listen for Ghost if he makes contact. Gaz holds out a hand to help you up and you take it, absentmindedly, and follow the men out of the room. You all grab something to eat, it’s after hours but Price lets himself into the kitchen and you raid the refrigerators. You eat in silence, listening to Gaz and Price going over possibilities of what could be going on. You’re listening but not really. Soon you’re headed to the hospital in Price’s truck, sandwiched between them. You wring your hands and try not to cry as you remember the last time you were in there, it had been with Ghost the time you had all gone to the bar together. It was the night he had burst into the bathroom and held you as you cried. You nearly drown in the memory. If you closed your eyes tight enough you could pretend that Ghost is here next to you again, his knee hitting yours, not Gaz’s. It’s almost real.

You arrive at the hospital shortly before the med evac team and as they arrive, you watch them all exit the helicopter. The wounded recon team member is out first, carried by the medical team and then Soap follows them out. You see him carrying his gear, head hanging down and you finally burst into tears. He walks straight up to you, drops his gear, and hugs you. “I’m so sorry, Kas. I’m sorry, I knew I shouldn’t have left him. I fucking knew it.”

You nod into his chest trying to choose your words. “I know Soap. I know he didn’t leave you a choice.”

“Have you heard anything? Any word?” he looks over your shoulder and asks Price.

“Not yet. Come on, let's get inside.”

______________

A little while later Price comes back after speaking with the recon team member and you load up to head home. Gaz and Price catch a ride back with someone else. 

“It was Holly’s friend. The one that made it.” he starts. “He’s going to be ok. But I need to talk to you about something he overheard.”

Your head whips to his, your nerves are already shot. “What is it now?” you say, frustrated, sensing Price’s anxiety.

“Graves has a new second in command. It’s not something we didn’t know we just never knew who it was. When he was listening to the others from his group being tortured, he overheard the Shadow Company members talking. Kas, I don’t know how else to say this so I’ll just get to it. It’s him. It’s Kenny.”

The mention of Kenny as Graves’ right-hand man sends a shiver down your spine. Your blood runs cold for the second time that night. The name itself feels like a curse, carrying with it a host of painful memories and emotions you’ve spent over a year trying to bury.

You swallow hard, your voice shaking as you respond, “Kenny? Are you sure? We had thought he died… They never recovered his body though..”

Price nods solemnly, his expression mirroring your concern. “He was adamant that's what he heard. I don’t think we should believe there’s any doubt.”

Your mind races with the implications of this revelation. Kenny, the man who had once been part of your life, your past, and the one you had thought you left behind. The betrayal, the pain, the fear - all of it comes rushing back. But now, he’s not just a part of your past, he’s a dangerous enemy, working with Graves, the man who wants you dead.

“What are we going to do, Price?” you as, your voice trembling.

Prices’s expression hardens with determination. “We have to prepare for what’s coming Kasper. This just got a lot more personal, and it’s clear that Graves is hell-bent on finding you. We’ll need to be one step ahead of them at all times. We can’t underestimate either one of them. This needs to end.”

You nod in agreement, a mixture of anger and fear swirling within you. Kenny’s betrayal and involvement with the Shadow Company are wounds that never fully healed, and now you’ll have to confront them once more. The rest of the ride back to base is a silent and somber one. The weight of the recent events, from Ghost’s uncertain fate to the revelation about Kenny’s involvement, hangs heavily in the air. As you step out of the truck, your mind is racing. You head to the briefing room where you meet up with everyone from your team and Keegan’s. Price informs them all about the situation and Kenny’s apparent role as you sink further into your chair. Desperate to be anywhere but there. The mood is tense, and you can feel everyone’s unease. The clock moves at the same glacial pace it has since Ghost went missing and the hours turn into a seemingly endless night.

Finally, you decide to go to your room after talking with Holly for a short while, she is headed to the hospital and you give her a hug in the hallway.

“Text me if you need anything, ok? Please? I’ll come hang out if you need Kas.” She says. 

You nod and head down the hall. Once in your room, you flop down on the bed, not bothering to undress. As you lay there, the absence of Ghost’s presence weighs on you, and you can’t shake the fear that this mission might be the one that doesn’t end up with him returning safely. Just less than two days ago you had sat right in the same spot with him as he had poured his heart out to you. “I’ve seen loss, darling, too much of it. Way too much.. But I think if I don’t allow myself to be selfish in this and to have you as mine, I will regret it for the rest of my life, however long or short that is.”

You roll over and sob uncontrollably, praying to whatever God will listen to bring him back home to you. It’s like this that you finally fall asleep. As the night unfolds, you find yourself in a restless slumber, haunted by your own fears. The emotional turmoil of the evening’s events weighs heavily on your mind, and sleep does little to provide comfort.

Throughout the night, you’re plagued by nightmares, each more vivid and distressing than the last. Images of Ghost flash in your mind, both in moments of joy and love with his skull mask off, kissing you. Then you see him, lying cold and dead, buried under rubble, or taken hostage, being beaten. The darkness of your room mirrors the darkness of your thoughts.

You wake up in the early morning hours, drenched in sweat, and grab your phone instinctively to text him. And then you remember everything. The reality of Ghost’s absence comes crashing back, and you can’t deny the ever-present anxiety eating at you. With a heavy sigh, you sit up and rub your eyes. You had several missed calls from Keegan and Holly. No doubt checking on you. You swipe through to your voicemail to see what they had wanted and your eyes land on something you had forgotten all about. When you had gone to Colorado, you had missed a call from Ghost and with everything going on, you had dismissed the voicemail. Scooting to the edge of the bed, you press the button to listen. 

“Kasss… Is Ghost.. -M sorry, I love you.” you hear. He sounded drunk. You doubt he even remembers calling you that night. You replay it a few more times. Oh my God, he loved me then? You sob as you keep replaying the message. 

Suddenly there’s a knock at your door, “Kas? Kas it’s me, Holly.” You pull yourself up and let her in and she gives you a long hug before holding you out at arm's length and looking at you. “Come on, in the shower, get this shit off of you, you’ll feel better.” She drops down to untie your boots for you and then goes to start your shower. “Get in, I’ll throw some fresh clothes in there for you, toss yours out when you’re done getting them off.”

You do as you are told, thankful for someone else to make any kind of decision for you. Thinking is just too hard. As you stand under the shower, Ghost’s forgotten confession lingers in your mind. You sigh, finishing up and shutting the shower off. Holly kept her word and had tossed in a new uniform for you and you quickly get dressed and open the door. You walk out brushing your hair. “Thank you, Holly, really.”

“I’ve been there babe, don’t thank me. I know you’d do the same for me. Any word on… anything?”

“No, nothing, I need to find Price and see what the plan is. We can’t just leave him there either way.” you say, choking back a sob.

She nods, “Come on, let's get some food in you and go see.”

You follow her to the dining room and quickly grab some food and sit down. Just as you start to eat, your phone buzzes.

PapaPrice: Briefing room, now.

You shove back your seat, putting it away without even taking the time to answer, and head there with your food, Holly behind you. Please be good news, please be good news. You repeat in your head the entire way. Your hands are shaking as you reach the door and open it. Everyone is in there already, including Keegan and you both quickly take seats.

Chapter Text

Price clears his throat and puts up images of the destroyed warehouse on the screen. “About 20 minutes ago, we intercepted communications from local authorities in Belarus that they’re on the lookout for someone that matches Ghost’s description.”

“Fuck yes!” Gaz says beside you. 

“Hang on, Gaz.” Price says, “This can tell us any number of things. He could have been spotted by the Shadow Company during the mission and they could have relayed the information that he was there before the explosion. We all know Graves has had it out for this entire team for a long time. From our drone footage, it looks like there are several surviving members going through rubble right now, possibly looking for his body. OR, or he made it out and he was spotted. We have no idea as we have yet to receive any type of communication. If he did make it out of there, it’s unlikely he would use any sort of radio, there’s no doubt they’re being monitored and he would know that. The only way he can reach us safely is the secure line in the safe house. We’ve double-checked that with the drones and it looks to be uncompromised but there’s been no sign of Ghost near it. With that being said, this is a complicated situation. If the local authorities are after him, it’s clear they’re working with the Shadow Company. There’s a chance he is hunkering down somewhere and waiting for nightfall to move. We have no way of knowing. If, and that’s a big IF, he made it out, he is likely still in serious danger. As much as I’d like to, we can’t move a team in with the current knowledge. We can’t risk going to war with the entire city.”

“So what now Cap?” Soap asks, getting frustrated. Soap’s question hangs in the air, echoing the shared uncertainty and anxiety in the room.

Price takes a deep breath and continues, “Right now, we have to play it safe. We’ll monitor the situation and be prepared to act if there’s a secure opportunity to extract him. Ghost is resourceful, and he knows how to stay hidden. For now, all we can do is wait and hope he makes it to the safe house.” 

“This is bullshit, Price. How can we just sit here?” Soap stands up and shoves his chair away from him. “Send me back, drop me in I cou-”

“You could do what Soap? Run around, risking being captured?” Price interrupts, “I can’t allow that. If he is in fact hiding out, he knows what he is doing. Dropping you or anyone else in isn’t going to help him. If it would, I’d be on a bloody plane right now. I get it, we all want him back, all of us-”

“YOU’RE NOT THE ONE THAT LEFT HIM! IT WAS ME, PRICE! This is MY fault. I left my best fucking friend behind!” Soap screams, kicking his chair and walking out of the room, punching the wall next to the door on the way out.

The room gets quiet, Price stares down at the table. The weight of Soap’s outburst hangs heavy in the room, the raw emotions filling the space with tension. Price’s shoulders slump lightly and sighs. “It was my call that left him there. No matter how correct it was, it wasn’t right. ” he says softly. “We all care about Ghost, and it’s natural to want to do something, anything, to help him. But acting impulsively won’t do him any good. I hope you all understand that.”

You feel a mixture of anger, frustration, and guilt. Soap’s blame on himself has stuck a chord within you as well, though you know it’s not his fault. You know how Ghost is in the field and off. He’s tough but he’s also selfless. It’s something that only those who have worked closely with him would know, he makes a point to downplay anything positive he does, but you know it. There was nothing anyone could have done differently last night. It’s the unfortunate truth. 

Gaz, who’s been sitting quietly and staring at his boots, speaks up. “We have to trust Ghost’s training and instincts. He’s one of the best for a reason, and he’ll do everything he can to make it back.”

Price nods in agreement, and the room remains quiet for a moment. 

“Can I review the new footage?” you ask Price quietly.

“Come on, let's go check it out,” he says, standing up with a grunt. “Gaz, please go find Soap before he beats the shite out of a recruit for looking at him wrong.”

“Got it, let me know if you hear anything.” He answers.

You squeeze Holly’s shoulder as you pass by her on your way out and toss your breakfast in the trash. You follow Price down the hall to the comms room. Once inside, it’s alive with activity. It’s a stark contrast to the heavy atmosphere in the briefing room. A dozen or more people are focused on their tasks, analyzing the information they have, trying to piece together any leads or clues that might help locate Ghost.

Price leads you to a station where several screens are displaying different feeds. You can see the destroyed warehouse, local authorities are there with the surviving Shadow Company members sifting through the wreckage. The analysts study their movements and actions carefully. You watch the feeds, trying to glean any information that might help. You join the others in looking for patterns, signs of Ghost, or any indication of where he might be hiding. It’s an uphill battle, and the uncertainty gnaws at you. Something catches your eye. “Hey, Price, is there any way we can see the footage from this camera starting a few minutes before the explosion?”

“Sure, hang on let me just.. Rewind it.. There.” He says.

As you watch the footage, a different angle of what you had caught, you notice something unusual. Just before detonation, there seemed to be a scurry of motion from a Shadow Company member who was standing just outside the door to a small shack. They had been facing away from the door, but suddenly turn to look at it before it’s thrown open and he’s taken down. The feed bounces around and becomes blurry from the explosion but you think you can see someone running off. It’s hard to tell. The structure in question was four buildings away from the main warehouse but if there were underground tunnels, which you knew there were, maybe that was another entry point hidden by the small shack. Why else would a guard be on that door? The small structure wasn’t even large enough to hold a desk. “There. Look at that. Right before the camera shakes and cuts out. See him?”

Price leans in and studies the footage, “You might be on to something, Kasper.” he says quietly to you. “Alright everyone, focus on the buildings to the northwest, just after the explosion, pull up any feeds you can from then. We might have him.”

The room comes alive with renewed purpose, and the analysts begin rewinding and searching the footage. It’s small but a significant breakthrough. As you continue to monitor the footage from last night, now having a better idea of where to look, you track the man’s movements through the outskirts of town. It’s clear he’s making a deliberate effort to stay hidden. “It has to be him, Cap. If we could just get a clear shot of his front… Is there a camera on that street light? What is that?” you point at your screen. “Can we get that feed?”

“Maybe but I’m not sure we can rewind it. It might just be a live feed, you see that little antenna coming from it?” He muses. “Let me see.” he walks off to speak with someone while you continue. After a few minutes he comes back over, “It’s live damnit.” he says.

“That’s ok. I think I can see… he goes into here,” you point again, “But I don’t see anyone come back out. Maybe that’s where he is waiting. Keep this rolling, we might be able to see if he leaves later.” You sit back, looking at the other monitors and feeds to double-check, triple-check. “They’re 2 hours ahead, correct?” you say checking time stamps.

“Affirmative, we’ve got roughly 7 hours until nightfall there.” He answers.

“I wonder.. Where is the safehouse from here?” you say trying to find it on the map. You’ve looked over too many in the last 24 hours to even remember. Price leans down and pulls up the topographical map, pointing to the safehouse’s location. “If he’s currently holed up in that building, he’s got a lot of open ground to cover after dark. With the locals watching out for him, I don’t know that he can even make it without being seen.. What if.. What if we brought air support back in? Created some sort of distraction.”

Price considers the suggestion for a moment and then nods thoughtfully. “That could work, Kas.” he says, “We’d need to be careful and make sure it’s far enough away from Ghost’s location so it doesn’t make them flee directly to him. I’ll speak with Keegan’s unit and see what we can do. Laswell just might go for it. Nice work.” he squeezes your shoulder and looks at you, “He’ll be ok, love. He will make it home one way or another. I’ll make damn sure of it. Go eat, and get some rest. We can monitor this for a bit.”

You let his words soak in and you finally get up from your seat, “Thanks, Price. See you in a bit.” With a deep breath, you head out of the comms rooms. Your stomach growls a reminder that you haven’t eaten more than a bite since last night. You’re unsteady on your feet as you shuffle off to the dining hall. Your mind is still preoccupied while grabbing your food and sitting down. Surely that’s him. It has to be. This has to work.  

You finish up and decide to head out to the range. You need rest but you don’t want to be alone with your thoughts after your nightmares last night. At the range, the sharp crack of gunfire provides a momentary distraction from the constant worry that’s been gnawing at your thoughts. Each shot is a release of tension and you find comfort in the weight of the weapon in your hands. The sound of your own heartbeat, your steadying breaths, and the precision of your aim all serve as grounding elements for your soul.

The rhythmic clatter of spent casings on the ground provides a metronome to your thoughts, a beat that momentarily drowns the world out. The range is an oasis of focus; for a brief time, you can almost forget the outside world. As you continue to fire round after round, your mind drifts back to Ghost. Your heart aches for his safe return and you silently pray for nightfall to come sooner, bringing with it the opportunity to rescue him.

You hear footsteps come up behind you and turn to look up over your shoulder. It’s Soap. You push yourself up onto your knees and run your hand through your hair, taking out your ponytail and fanning it out. “Hey..” you say as he gets closer.

He sits on the ground next to you, “Hey.” he says quietly. “Price told me you were the one that got a set of eyes on him.” he lets out a shaky breath.

“I think so yeah,” you tell him. You absentmindedly fiddle with your sniper rifle.

“He’s lucky to have you, you know. We all are.” he says quietly, lost in thought. “Ghost.. He needs someone like you. Someone strong, hard-headed. Not afraid to confront things head-on. Hell, I would’ve gone after you if it wasn’t so crystal clear that he had a thing for you. I could see it, right from the start. I don’t even think he knew it yet.”

“Soap..” you sigh.

“No, I’m serious. The lad was broken before you got here. It was tearing the team apart. Not his fault, it was all of us really. So thank you. Thank you for giving this a chance. Thank you for all of it.” he continues.

You lay your head on his shoulder unsure of what to even say. Finally, you whisper, “Sometimes I regret choosing this life. If I’m being honest. The whole thing. It’s been so… God just so much. I want to leave all this behind some days, get married, have a normal fucking life for once. A house, with a dog, maybe kids. I don't know..” you ramble. “ You know, you guys came into my life and all of you fixed me too. I was a wreck when Price showed up at my house. Did he tell you I was wearing Hello Kitty pajama pants that day? God, I was so embarrassed.” 

Soap throws his head back and laughs. “No, he hadn’t, thats funny lass. I can’t even picture it.”

“Shut it bodywash. My point is.. I need you all too. So don’t thank me. We’re even I think. We just need to get this asshole back home so I can beat him up for putting us all through this.” you laugh. “Please, don’t blame yourself either. It’s not going to do any good, you’re smarter than that. And no I will never say that again. Because you’re all idiots.”

He makes a fake shocked face at you and stands up, helping you up after. “Never mind, forget what I said, you’ve been nothing but trouble since you got here, bonnie.”

“You love it though,” you say as you grab your rifle and start walking backward from him.

He doesn’t say anything, he just puts a hand up over his eyes to shield the sun and smiles at you. The way the lowering sun shines around you makes you look like an angel to him. And maybe you are he thinks. 

Chapter Text

Following your conversation with Soap, you head back inside to see how things are coming along with trying to get air support approved. You return to the comms room and find it still buzzing with activity. Price, Keegan, and several others are deep in conversation, pouring over maps and tactical plans. They acknowledge your presence as you step in, but their focus remains on the task at hand.

You approach Price and quietly ask, “Any progress on getting air support, Price?”

He glances at you, “We’re working on it Kas,” he replies. “Laswell is taking it to the higher-ups, and we’re hoping to hear back soon. If not, I might have an idea, but let's just hope we get approved.”

You groan in frustration and sit down in front of the monitors again. With or without air support there’s nothing you can do until you even know it's him in that building. There’s been no indication all day that he was found by either the Shadow Company or the local authorities, and that’s a good sign but you couldn’t be sure. What if he’s hurt and can’t make the trip to the safehouse you sit there and think. It hadn’t looked like it from any of the footage but adrenaline is good at hiding things. There likely wouldn’t have been any indication, especially with a monster of a man like Ghost. You replay the footage over and over, searching for any sign of distress or injury, any change in mannerism, and find none. 

There are two more hours until it’s dark enough there to even make an attempt. If you were going to get approved for air support, you were running out of time. Price and Keegan continue their discussions across from you, occasionally checking in with Laswell for updates. The room is filled with tension, and you can almost taste the unease shared by everyone present.

Finally, you get word that it was approved, and close air is on its way there. The weight of uncertainty starts to lift, and a renewed sense of hope surges through the room. Everyone springs into action, coordinating the details. As the world grows darker on your screen, you feel like it's a race against time to provide the distraction he so desperately needs to make it across mile mile-long open stretch of land between the building and the safety of the trees. With the countdown in motion, you take a deep breath and prepare yourself for what lies ahead. 

Twenty minutes later, and still no sign of movement, air support arrives, locked and loaded. The plan was to bomb southeast of his suspected position, hitting the warehouse again along with the other buildings. If you were wrong, if Ghost was buried under there still… No, you knew he wasn’t. You were sure it was him that had come out of that door. The moment of truth is here, and Ghost’s fate hinges on the success of this distraction. The bomber is armed and ready to strike. Everyone in the room is tense, eyes fixed on monitors, watching for any signs of movement from the buildings. Finally, the order is given, and the aircraft releases its payload. Explosions light up the night, creating a series of fiery blasts. The ground shakes and the roar of the explosions fills the room. Now, all you can do is watch the aftermath and wait for any sign that Ghost has seized the opportunity to escape. 

A minute passes and still nothing. You hold your breath and are nearly touching your nose to the screen, trying to see through the dark if anyone leaves. Suddenly, you spot a figure racing north towards the direction of the safe house. As you spot it, your heart races, it must be Ghost. There’s a rush of relief and excitement in the room, the decision to use the air support seems to have paid off.

You immediately relay the information to Price, “Price he’s on the move! Ghost is headed north.” You can barely contain your excitement, but you know it’s not over yet, he still needs to make it to the treeline. 

“Keep eyes on him!” Price yells. The screens move and try to find him again. It’s hard to make him out but eventually, you see him, he’s halfway to the tree line already. “Come on, Ghost, keep going.” He says to himself. “Hit the outer buildings again,” he instructs and the bomber comes back in for another run, quickly hitting the rest of the buildings and creating a huge explosion. The additional explosions create more chaos and confusion, further masking Ghost’s movements as he races toward safety. With all of the smoke drifting his way in the wind, it’s hard to maintain a clear visual on him.

As the seconds tick by, Ghost continues to sprint, edging closer to the safety of the tree line. The air strikes have created the perfect smokescreen that shields him from view from everyone on the ground. Finally, he reaches the treeline, disappearing into the cover of the forest. The room lets out a collective sigh of relief, knowing he has a much better chance of making it to the safe house now.

Price, still focused on the screen, urges, “Keep tracking him, Kas. We need to make sure he gets there.”

You struggle to see but catch glimpses of him lit up on the screen through the infrared footage. He’s still running, he has roughly two miles to go. You scan the trees between him and the warehouse, looking for any signs of pursuit and thankfully see none. It really worked. God he’s going to make it. Soap sits down next to you, “Breathe, Bonnie. I told you that man is hard to kill.” he says, rubbing your back. Your breath hitches, desperately trying to will him all the way to the safe house. Each flicker of heat on the display represents a step closer to home. You lean back in your chair and whisper, “Keep going, Ghost. You’re almost there.”

As Ghost reaches the safe house, the room erupts in cheers. The collective tension in the room gives way to sheer joy and relief. Everyone is on their feet, Price wears a rare, satisfied grin on his face. You can’t help but let out a tear of joy as you watch Ghost’s heat signature safely reach the secure location. He made it. 

You hear Price on the secure line, “Ghost? Talk to me Ghost.”

“Bloody hell, Cap, I’m here.” you hear his gruff voice come through the line.

“What’s your status?” He asks.

“All good here just could use a fucking pint or fifteen.” He jokes. The sound of it makes your chest pound. If you could die of happiness, you would.

Price lets out a hearty laugh, his voice filled with relief, “Glad to see your sense of humor is still intact. Start breaking down things in there, I’m sending a helicopter. Thirty minutes out.”

“Copy that, Cap. I’ll get it sorted,” he answers.

“It’s damn good to have you back, Ghost.” Price says. He takes a deep breath and addresses the room, “Alright everyone, let’s get things ready here. Keep eyes on his location until he’s on the helicopter.” He walks over to you and leans down to talk to you, “Kas, come on, let's go.”

Confused, you get up and follow him from the room and down the hallway, not sure of where he is leading you. Finally, he stops outside of his office, opening the door to turn on the lights and letting you in first. You quickly sink into a chair and lean back rubbing your face. He goes around his desk and sits down, quietly lighting a cigar. Neither one of you say anything for several minutes. You just sit and take in the events of the evening, both of you lost in your own thoughts. 

After several long drags of his cigar, he breaks the silence, “Kas, I don’t know how to thank you. If it wasn’t for you, this would not have been possible, and that's the truth. We had a dozen people looking over footage for hours into the night and through the morning. No one else caught him leaving the area. But you did. Your determination is bringing Ghost home. Your instincts are impeccable.” His voice is low and steady.

You look up at him, and reply with a grateful nod, “Thank you, sir. I’m just.. glad he’s safe.” a sob escapes your mouth and you work to quickly shove it back down.

He takes a contemplative puff from his cigar and continues, “Our team is like family, Kas. We look out for each other, and I’ve seen that family grow stronger because of you. You mean a lot to this team. A lot to me.” he runs a hand through his hair and you can see the raw emotion on his face. “I just wanted to tell you that. That’s all. When Ghost gets back I’ll have to speak with him briefly, and I’ll warn you... I’ve seen him withdraw before, after things like this. He’s likely not slept a wink for over 24 hours now. I don’t have to remind you how deep he gets into his own head.”

You nod, well aware of what Price is referring to. “I know.. I appreciate the warning though. I think it’ll be ok. We had a conversation before he left with Soap..”

“Well then, did the man finally knock his shite off?” he laughs.

“He did. He.. uh.. He told me he loved me. Like the actual words too, Cap. It’s so surreal” You say.

Price grins at your confession, “About bloody time indeed. That man isn’t known for being particularly… forthcoming with his feelings. He’s a lucky man, you’re a remarkable asset to this team and to him.” he says. “Let's get some rest yeah? We’ll have a debrief once Ghost lands in a few hours but for now, go to bed. I’ll make sure to grab you before he gets here.”

_____________________________

Ghost sits in the helicopter on the way back to base and thinks over the last twenty-four hours. How close he had come to being captured was etched into his memory. After Soap had taken the rescue he had started to make his way down the underground hallway. He had to fight a seemingly never-ending stream of Shadow Company soldiers, taking cover inside rooms when he could. He had to pick up their weapons as he went after he had run out of ammunition. There were too many but he knew if he hadn’t stayed behind, they would have been overtaken trying to make it out of there. No, he needed to keep the fight down here as a distraction.

Finally after clearing out the men that had rushed him, he tried to find his way back out after getting lost and turned around in the chaos. He had tried a few different hallways before finally feeling under his feet that he was headed back uphill as he silently crept into the dark. He had kept pushing, reaching a door. He slipped off one side of his headset and put his ear to it to listen. He wasn’t sure if it led outside, there hadn’t been any windows in the little room he had finally ended up in. What he did know was that he had made it far enough away from the warehouse to go ahead and hit the detonator. Using it as a distraction, he took a deep breath and hit it, throwing open the door and stabbing the man who guarded it. Not sure of which direction to take he just ran for the next set of buildings he could before he was spotted. Keeping low, ducking behind vehicles as other men passed on their way to the burning warehouse. He had quickly reached the building, dodging patrols, keeping hidden. 

Once inside, he had heard men passing by, his name being said over radios in thick Slavic accents. Hunkering down his mind had raced, it didn’t sound like Shadow Company men, it must be the local authorities. Bloody hell he had thought. He was in deep shit and knew it. If this was the case there was no way he could make it out of there, especially not knowing which direction to move next. He had sat there for hours, watching as the ambient light around him grew stronger, signaling sunrise. With no clear exit strategy, he had decided to hunker down, keeping still as a shadow, his senses on high alert. Fighting off sleep, which was second nature to him, he never slept much, he had tried to come up with a plan. He knew he didn’t have another chance to make it back unless he could get to the safehouse and in between him and that, there was a huge stretch of open ground. The direction he had fled the night before had placed him much further back from the tree line than Soap and he had been on the way there and there was no way to cut back closer to it now. Not without being seen, and with no ammunition left, it would be a death sentence. 

He spent the rest of the day waiting for night to fall and when he had finally gotten up from his hiding spot in the back room of the building he was in, he heard the thunderous roar of an air strike close by. His window of opportunity had arrived. This was his chance to move and he didn’t waste one second. Ghost had slipped silently out of the building, staying low, keeping to the shadows until he passed out into the open. Once there, he had run like his life depended on it, and it did. He glanced a few times to his right, seeing the fresh fire and smoke from the explosions and sending a silent prayer of thanks to his team. Finally, he had reached the tree line, not stopping, and ran the rest of the way to the safe house, glancing back as he went and seeing nothing. Once he reached the safe house he had thrown himself inside, collapsing on the floor, his chest heaving. After speaking with Price he had done as ordered and broken down what he could in there, getting it ready to load up when the helicopter arrived.

Now, he sat looking down at his gloved hands, covered in blood. Your face was all he could see when he closed his eyes, much like the entire day. It was a beacon, keeping him strong through all the events of the very long day. He couldn’t wait to be back and hold you again. His heavy lids closed in a few long blinks until finally, they stayed that way. He slumped over and unwillingly let sleep overcome him.

Chapter Text

Ghost is woken up by the pilot speaking to him on his headset. "Five minutes LT" he hears and he stretches out his legs and back. He pops his knuckles and then lights a cigarette that someone from the extraction team passes him. He had worked hard to quit a year ago but after the last few days, it was just what he needed for his nerves. He sucks in the smoke, savoring the burn in his lungs, and leans his head back on the wall. 

A few minutes later, they land and he walks out, greeted by Price, Soap, and Gaz. Price claps him on the shoulder and then slings his arm over it as they walk towards the building. “Where’s Kas?” he asks, panicking slightly.

“Oh, lad, don’t worry, she’s finally sleeping. You gave the poor thing quite the scare.” Soap says while laughing, “Glad to have you back.” 

“I went and knocked on her door and she didn’t answer so I peeked in. I don’t think a bomb could have woken her up.” he chuckles, leading everyone to his office.

“That bad huh, fucking hell, she’s going to throttle me.” Ghost says following everyone inside the office and sitting down.

“If anyone around here can do it, it’s her. I’d sleep with one eye open if I were you, mate.” Gaz says.

“Alright, alright, what's the damage Cap? What did we find out.” Ghost rolls his eyes and asks.

“The recon team member made it back, he’s going to be ok. I spoke with him when he got here, we’ve got a new problem. He overheard at the warehouse that Graves’ second in command, the one we haven’t been able to identify.. It’s Sergeant Werner. Kas’s ex-fiance that everyone assumed died when the rest of her team did.”

“Are you fucking joking, Price?” Ghost interjects. He’s irate. 

“Negative, it’s him. She’s aware, I spoke with her after. Speaking of Kas.. You owe her, big time. I had a whole team looking over everything from the raid for hours and it took her all of five minutes to find you. She saw you coming out of that doorway and running. And it was her idea to bring air support back in for a diversion.”

Ghost lets the words sink in and stays quiet. “Is that right?.. Doesn’t surprise me, she’s smarter than all of us.” he slaps his knees and stands up, “Right, I’m out, lovely chat everyone, don’t call me for 12 hours.” he says with a grin. All the intel can be dealt with, but he can’t spend one more second away from you. He heads down the hallways, finally stopping at your door and knocks. No answer. Price wasn’t kidding earlier. He digs in his pockets for the extra key you had given him and lets himself in. You’re in bed, legs and arms sprawled out, lying on your stomach. You’re wearing his shirt and his breath catches in his throat. You look so good in it. It’s a sight he could come home to every day, forever.  After watching you lying there in the bed for a moment, he starts taking off the bulk of his gear and quietly setting it down, being careful to not wake you. Finally, he slips off his mask and crawls into bed beside you.

_____________

You open your eyes, see the sunlight in your room, and panic. You sit up fuck, fuck, is he back?? Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you throw your leg over the edge of your bed and hit something. Looking down you see a pair of boots and twist yourself back around. Simon’s there, lying beside you propped up on an elbow and grinning like an idiot.

“What’s the rush, love? Got somewhere to be?” he says with a smile.

“OH MY GOD. You’re here!!” You launch yourself at him, landing on top of him and planting kisses all over his face. “When?? When did you get here??”

“A few hours ago,” he says, “Price said he tried to wake you up but you told him you couldn’t be arsed to come greet me.” He says, “Quite rude of you innit? I had to crawl my wa-”

“You liar!” you giggle, sitting up on top of him, straddling his waist.

“Oh, love, you’re a sight for sore eyes, yeah? I missed you.” he says, his eyes, filled with warmth and affection as he smiles up at you.

“Missed you too, you ass.” you say, leaning down to give him a soft, lingering kiss. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Price told me it was you that found me.” He says as he shifts you off of him and wraps his arms around you. He gently blows a piece of hair from your face and grins at you as you blink.

“Don’t do that to me again, Simon. I thought you blew yourself up in that warehouse. I was about to go dig you out of there and kill you again myself.” you whisper.

“Yeah, yeah, I love you too, Kas.” he says. “Now be quiet, I’m going to sleep the day away with you in this bed, then I’m going to fuck you in your shower, and then we are going out tonight. I need a drink.”

"What if we showered, then slept, then went out." You say and wiggle your hips against him.

"If I'm going to do it properly I need some sleep love. You can lie here and think about it all day if you wish." He says and kisses your neck. "I do rather like the thought of you being all wound up." He kisses you again and you can feel him smile against your throat. "You have no idea how bad I wanted to get back here to you." 

He tucks his head into your chest as you rub his hair and he quickly drifts off to sleep. You lay there for a long time, just looking at him. Memorizing the lines and scars on his face. The way his eyelashes look so perfect, boys always have the longest ones you think, not fair. When he falls deeper into sleep, his lips part, just a little bit, enough to see his teeth. You eye the stubble on his chin, he hasn’t been able to shave in a few days and it shows. He would look handsome with a beard you think. You commit everything to memory, a knee-jerk reaction to almost losing him. If you can learn every inch of his face, maybe you’ll be able to keep him safe, at least in your mind. A profound sense of love and protectiveness washes over you. The fear and the anxiety from the past few days start to subside, replaced by a comforting feeling of having him close. You gently stroke his hair, feeling the texture of it beneath your fingertips. It’s moments like this that you cherish most, where he can simply be Simon with you. As the room is filled with the gentle rise and fall of his chest and the soothing sound of his breathing, you can’t help but to cry. You’re thankful for this moment of peace and the chance to hold him close again. In your world of chaos and uncertainty, having him with you is like finding a safe harbor in a storm.

Hours later, you wake up together. Simon fulfills his promise of shower sex and you leave your bathroom feeling dirtier than when you went in. He had you mewling to God as he held you up against the slick shower walls and poured all of his frustration into you. Now he lies on your bed, watching you hobble around trying to find something to wear out. You tease him in just your panties, leaning down further than necessary to look through your dresser and you hear him groan. 

“Your arse is a deadly weapon, Kas. You could end wars with that thing,” he says, shaking his head and adjusting himself on your bed. 

You can’t help but laugh as you finally find a suitable outfit. You turn to face him, still playfully teasing, “Well, maybe I should consider a career in international diplomacy then. My ass for world peace.”

He laughs as you slip into your clothes. You notice his eyes following every move. There’s a magnetic attraction between you both and it makes you feel so loved and wanted. Not broken and gross like you’d felt for so long. There’s a certain reverence in the way he looks at you that takes your breath away every time. He reaches out to you when you get closer and pulls you onto the bed, smiling mischievously at you. “You’d definitely get my approval, love.” he says as he nuzzles his face in your hair and hugs you.

“Come on, let's go get you some fresh clothes. If you keep looking at me like that we won't make it out of here.” you say.

He playfully groans as you stand up and pull him off the bed. “Fine, mum, ruin my fun.”

__________________________________

Later on, you arrive at the bar, or pub as Simon keeps correcting you. You drove tonight, knowing full well that he plans on getting drunk, he earned it. He holds your hand as you walk inside, a simple act for some, but for Simon, it speaks volumes. Once you join everyone at the table, Simon stands behind you and helps you remove your jacket. He lingers for a moment, lifting his mask just above his lips as he sweeps your hair off your neck and plants a brief kiss there. The shock on everyone’s faces is palpable. He winks at you and takes off for the bar to grab a drink. The look on everyone’s faces as he walks off makes you giggle. 

“Well I’ll be damned.. He just.. Jesus. You two?” Gaz says.

“Christ, lad, speak English.” Soap pipes up and everyone laughs. 

“God everyone, you act like you’ve never seen him with a woman before.” you laugh.

“Not like that. Bloody hell what did you do to the poor sap? He’s not been back for 24 hours and he’s a domesticated dog already.” Price laughs. “So much for kicking his arse.”

“I think he’s just being nice so that I won’t” you joke and everyone laughs.

“You won't what, Kas?” Ghost comes back to the table and asks.

You smile and raise an eyebrow, “Kick your arse , Ghost. We all know I can.” you say playfully.

“Oh, I’d let you,” He says and winks. You blush as your jaw drops a little.

“Christ, mate, get a room.” Gaz groans, “I already hate this. This is going to be trouble, I can feel it.” He jokes.

Everyone finally settles down and you grab a seat next to Holly. She elbows your side and wiggles her eyebrows at you. “Giiiiiirl. You got like some magic pussy or what? Oof that man is smitten.” she leans over and whispers as you grin.

The two of you watch as he and Soap play pool. “Where’s Keegan at? I thought he was coming tonight?” you ask her.

“He had some meeting with Kortac that ran late, he should be here soon hopefully.” She answers, and you can see a flicker of something across her face.

“What’s going on with all that? You and him? You’ve been awfully quiet about it.” you ask her, sensing her unease.

“He’s kind of a lot.” She blurts out. “Like not bad, or it wouldn’t be if I wasn’t so messed up. He’s.. attentive. I don’t know what to think or do. He actually likes me and treats me right. And my dumb ass is over here like an idiot trying to figure out if he’s messing with me or what. It’s tough, especially in situations like ours. What if it doesn’t work out? I have to see him every day? Fuck that.” she sighs. “I don’t know. I just need to get out of my own way.”

“I know what you mean.. Keegan is a good guy though. I can tell he cares about you. What do you have to lose, ya know? Yeah you might get hurt, but man, what if you don't? What if it’s endgame shit?”

She thinks for a while and takes another drink. “You’re right, I know you are. He’s such a sweet guy. Aftercare is on point too, ugh. He like degrades me when we’re fucking and then brings me a towel and gets me food and rubs my back, feet, whatever after. I don’t think I could ever get tired of that.”

You giggle and choke on your drink. “HOLLY, oh my GOD.”

The two of you sit there and laugh throughout the night. Keegan eventually shows up and joins the group after giving Holly a kiss that leaves her red in the face. It’s nice watching them together. In the short time that she’s been here, you’ve grown attached to Holly. She’s like a sister that you never had.

At some point, you head to the bar to get Simon another drink, he’s probably had too many but he’s having too much fun to have the heart to tell him no. As you lean your back against the bar and watch your group from afar, you bask in the warmth of it all. Price and Gaz are sitting and laughing together watching Ghost and Soap, both very drunk, play pool and stumble around. Keegan and Holly are playing beer pong together and she’s kicking his ass as he pouts. They’re your family, and you couldn’t be happier. It’s such a surreal feeling. Just months ago, all you knew were the 4 walls of your little cabin in Colorado, shutting the entire world out, totally empty inside, to this. So full of love you can hardly stand it. Simon catches you watching and smiles at you as if he could guess your thoughts. You smile back as the bartender hands you a water for yourself and a bourbon for Simon. He watches you as you walk it over to him.

“What is this? You trying to get me pissed out of my head, yeah?” He slurs a bit and you giggle.

“Last one, big guy. I can’t carry your huge ass home if you have any more.” you say.

“Are you takin’ the piss, love?” He fakes a shocked look at you. “I am NOT fat.”

“No but you’re built like a fooking refrigera-TAH ” You say, making fun of his thick British accent. 

“HA, HAHAHA you hearing this Johnny?” Ghost laughs pointing at you with this thumb and grabs the drink from your hand. He lifts his mask a bit and downs it in one gulp. Soap is half falling over, slumped onto the pool table laughing. “Alrigh’ love, one more game with this tosser, and I’m set.” he winks at you and you take a seat to watch.

This should be good you think to yourself. Neither one of them can hold a pool cue the right way. After watching for a half hour, Price meets your eyes from a few feet away and nods. 

“That’s enough boys, time to go home before you get kicked out. I’ve got enough paperwork to deal with as it is. Let's go.” He says to them, grabbing their cues and putting them away. He helps you get Simon out to the car, he absolutely hammered and you've never been more entertained. Drunk Simon is hilarious.

"You're so pretty, love. Isn' she John? Bloody 'ell. Sh' scares me John, she can kick me arse." He slurs as Price walks him in behind you outside. "Thass it for me, 'm done lad."

"She is, Ghost, here we are, get in you muppet." He says guiding Ghost into your jeep. 

"Fuck, alrigh'" He huffs as he falls inside.

Price shuts his door and comes around to your window and you roll it down to talk to him. 

"If you need help I won't be much longer, just have to get Soap loaded up." He says with a grin as he watches Ghost try to buckle his seat belt. You smack his hands away from it and get it clipped for him.

"Thanks, Cap, we'll see how far he makes it." You say with a grin. 

"I heard tha'" Ghost laughs as you drive off towards the base. You leave the windows rolled down to desperately try and sober him up a bit. He's fading fast and you giggle to yourself. It's nice seeing him let go and have some fun, it's not something you've seen before. You glance over at him as he leans back in his seat, eyes closed, hands folded in his lap. You reach over and squeeze his knee, trying to keep him awake for the last few minutes of the drive. He rolls his head towards you and you can see the crinkle around his eyes as he smiles at you. 

“Sorry, love.” he says, “Just restin’ my eyes.”

“Sure, sure.” you say as you finally reach the base and park. You hurry up and come around to his side of the jeep and help him out. He’s heavy as fuck but you manage to help him inside and most of the way to his room. “Come on, just a bit further, keep moving.”

You unlock his door and guide him to his recliner. Once he’s sat you kneel down to take his boots off and then cover him up with a blanket. He’s already fast asleep.

Chapter Text

Simon: Do you have any Paracetamol

Kasper: You’re alive! Also, no. Ask Bodywash.

Simon: You left me here, help me. 

Kasper: Simon I slept in your room all night, you’re fine.

Simon: I am not fine. Fucking hell.

Kasper: I’m teaching a new class, leave me alone.

You smile and put your phone back in your pocket. You had tried to wake him up before leaving but he hadn’t budged. You look back at your class, it’s full of fresh, young faces. They had gotten here a few days ago and as you look around you notice about three-quarters of them are girls. It’s so nice to see other females interested in this, you think.

“Right, as I was saying, I’m Leitenant Reader, or Kasper, though you can call me the former. I’m going to be your instructor over the next few months. Hopefully, by the time you leave here, you’ll be ready for whatever might come along in your future with this unit. Be it in the air, at sea, or from a concealed position on land your job as a sniper goes beyond the shot. It’s gathering intelligence, killing enemy leaders, overwatch, infiltration, raid support, ballistic IED interdiction, hunting other snipers and the disruption of enemy operations. With that being said, today I’d just like to watch everyone for a while so I can get a baseline of where you’re skills are at. Grab your stuff and pick a spot.”

You’re on the smaller range today so there’s limited space, about half the group has to hang off to the side until it’s their turn. You walk amongst the recruits currently shooting, silently analyzing their body positions, the way they handle their rifles and their focus. You can tell that some are more experienced than others, but they all have potential. Suddenly you hear whispers from some of the girls in the group off to the side.

“Oh my God, Sarah.. Look. LOOK, I told you I heard someone talk about him.” one says.

“Oh shit, God what I wouldn’t do to that man.” she says back.

“No fucking way, I think he’s coming here.”

You finally sigh and turn around to see what the commotion is about and you see Ghost walking up with a Starbucks cup in one hand and a take-out container from your favorite lunch place in the other. He's in just a black t-shirt and gloves, cargo pants, and he has his skull print balaclava on. You can see the imprint of his dog tags under his shirt from his massive pecs and his sleeves barely fit over his arms. He looks fucking delicious. When he sees you turn and look at him he gestures with his head for you to meet him over at one of the tables.  “Alright take a 15-minute break.” you say to everyone. You hear more whispers as they all look from him to you and you smile at him. You go over to the table and you can see he's smiling under his mask. 

"Hungry?" He asks, with a wink as he sets the food down and hands you the drink.

“Starving, I skipped breakfast. Price give you the day off or something?” you ask as he pulls the chair out for you and you sit down.

“I just didn’t go. Figured after last night he didn’t expect me there until later anyway. I've got a class at 1500 to lead.” he grins. He leans one shoulder against the wall of the lean to you’re under, crossing his ankles. His back is to the recruits.  “How’s it going with this lot?”

“It was going fine until you showed up, you’re quite the celebrity from the sound of it,” you say quietly with a smirk, gesturing to the group with your fork.

The recruits nearby are staring. Some of them with their mouths open, not even trying to hide it. He rolls his eyes and glances over his shoulder at them.

“Excuse me, Lieutenant Reader?” One of them says while being elbowed by the girl next to her. 

“Yes?” you say trying to maintain your professionalism while Ghost stands there in his full glory.

“Sorry, ma’am, but is that Lieutenant Ghost?” the recruit asks, clearly starstruck.

You glance over at Ghost, who raises an eyebrow beneath his mask as if to say, “Really?”

You can’t help but chuckle at the recruit’s question. Ghost sighs and turns around to address the group, still leaning against the wall.

“Yes?” he asks, his voice low and commanding, the kind that immediately demands attention.

The recruit who asked stammers for a moment before finding her words. “Uh, I was just wondering, sir, if you have any advice for us, you know, based on your experience. Like what’s the most important thing to remember?” though you highly doubt that was the reason for the question. 

Ghost takes a moment to think before responding. “First, remember that being a sniper isn’t just about pulling the trigger. It’s about knowing your equipment and your environment like the back of your hand. It’s about understanding that every shot you take has consequences, and it’s your duty to make sure it’s the right shot. Above all, never forget that you’re part of a team. Trust your spotter with your life, and they’ll do the same for you.”

The recruits hang on his every word, absorbing it like it’s the most interesting thing they’ve ever heard. They’re clearly in awe, and really, you get it. You still are every day you’re with him. You can’t help but smile as he turns back around to you. “You just going to hang out and disrupt my class or what?” you joke.

He smirks beneath his mask, his eyes filled with mischief. “I just heard there was a stunnin’ sniper instructor working here today. Figured I’d come check it out for myself.”

You playfully roll your eyes, sipping your coffee, “Oh really now? And what’s your expert opinion on her so far?”

He pushes off from the wall and leans in close to whisper, his voice dropping to a low, intimate tone. “Well, she seems like the kind of instructor I’d pay extra attention to if you know what I mean.”

A mischievous grin spreads across your face, “Is that so? Maybe I should give you a private lesson sometime.”

He winks, and his eyes crinkle even more, “I’d be a very dedicated student, I promise.”

With a subtle smirk, you reply, "As tempting as that sounds, I think we should let the recruits have their training. You'll just have to be patient for now, LT."

Ghost leans back, offering you a sly smile as he says, "Patience has always been one of my strengths, love."

You stand up and take a swipe at his chest, "Go, get, shoo. You're going to distract them, and me, if you stay here. Thank you for lunch though because that was amazing." You glance over and the girls in your recruit group are still staring and now giving you nasty glares. You sigh to yourself and push his chest. “Goooo, before I have a mutiny on my hands.”

He backs up laughing, holding his hands up, he knows he’s being ornery, “Alright, love, come see me in the training room after you’re done, yeah?”

“Fine, now go you big goof.” You say as he laughs and grabs the empty food container and drink from you. He walks away backward, smiling at you from under his mask.

“Bye, darling.” he yells and you wave at him to turn around and leave you be, turning red. The whole class has been watching you can’t believe how brazen he was being in front of them. And speaking of your class, they’re all standing there with their mouths open again having watched your whole interaction. 

“Alright, back to work, close your mouths, switch groups, come on.” You bark at them. 

You finish out the day, marking down notes about the next group as you watch them. They’re not bad, you think, but you can tell a lot of them aren’t taking it seriously enough. A problem for another day. At the end of the class, you gather everyone for a debriefing and go over what they need to bring for the next class. Once you dismiss them you head to the training room as promised and you notice two of the girls following you. You ignore them, you know what they’re up to. It’s not the first time Ghost has had a fan club. There’s always a few young girls whispering about him when a new group of recruits comes through.

You finally get to the training room and see Ghost leading a sparring session and instructing the recruits. He has a way of capturing their attention that's captivating for anyone watching. You lean against the wall, watching for a moment admiring the grace and power of his movements. It wasn’t long ago that you were doing this same thing the day you sparred with him but it seems like a lifetime. So much has happened and changed since then. He finishes up a session with one recruit and heads over to you, you grab a bottle of water and hand it to him as he gets close.

“Thanks, love.” he takes a drink and sets it down. “My head is pounding, don’t even try and think of challenging me to a rematch today.”

“I wondered how you were holding up. I wouldn’t do that to you, plus I’m still in time-out for another few weeks.” you roll your eyes and point to your side. 

“You’ve brought some stragglers I see,” he says as he glances over your shoulder and you shake your head. They’re huddled behind Ghost’s class, trying to get a glimpse of the legendary man in action. 

“Sure looks like it, can’t blame them though.” you say.

Ghost chuckles as he glances back at the recruit. “How was the rest of your day? Everything go smoothly with the group?”

You lean against the wall again and let out a sigh. “It was good actually. They’re a motivated bunch, and your little appearance today didn’t hurt. But lord, trying to maintain discipline with your fan club was a challenge.”

Ghost smirks and wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a small room off to the side. “I’ll be on my best behavior next time, promise.”

You rest your head against his shoulder briefly, “Honestly, I can’t believe you’re so…this.. With me. You’ve never exactly an open book when it comes to personal matters. ”

He tightens his grip around you and his voice turns softer. “I’ve spent too long in the shadows, I’m not hiding anything anymore. I told you, love, there’s not a rule, personal or otherwise, I wouldn’t break for you.”

His words send a shiver down your spine and you lean into him. “I love you, Simon.” you whisper.

He lifts his mask and gives you a brief kiss, “Love you too. Come on, come sit out here until I finish.”

You go back out into the training room and find a seat on one of the machines and watch as Ghost continues his class. Your mind starts to wander about the events of the last few days. You’ve not really had a chance to sit and think about things. You chew on your lip as you wonder what Kenny is up to being Graves’ second in command. How does that even happen? The two of you were so close, he knows most everything about you, your strengths, your weaknesses. How far will he go to destroy you, and for what? What could you have possibly done to be in this position? If he had wanted you gone, why wait until you joined the 141, why not go after you when you had moved to Colorado? Surely he had known you survived. Or maybe he never bothered to check, certain that the job had been done and there was no way you made it out alive. He was cocky, so it could be the answer. If that’s the case, it’s also a kick in the teeth to know that after all the time you had spent together, he didn’t even bother to see if you were alive. Your life didn’t matter to him. Until it did again, and now he’s after you and everyone else you care about, again. Lost in your thoughts, you jump when one of the recruits who followed you from your class asks you a question. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” you say apologetically. 

“Oh um, I just wondered how you know Ghost..” she asks, her eyes wandering down the scars on your face.

“Lieutenant Ghost (you subtly correct her) has been my teammate since I came here a few months back.” you answer. 

“Ohh ok that makes sense then.” she says.

“What makes sense?” you ask her confused.

“Oh i just noticed you looked close, makes sense if you’re teammates.” she says with an attitude as if you should know what she was talking about.

“Ahh, I see. Yep teammates,” you say, turning away from her and ending the conversation. You’re too annoyed to bother clarifying anything else to her. Doesn’t matter either way. Brief thoughts of Angel cross your mind, but you know you’re well past that. It pisses you off how they’re acting but if you had to fight everyone that lost their minds over him, it would be a constant battle. You’ve been so lost in your thoughts you don’t notice his class ended and he’s standing next to you. One of the girls says hi to him and he ignores them, grabbing your hand.

“Come on, lets get some dinner. There’s a place I want to show you near the bar. I hate the slop they serve us here.” he says as he puts a hand on the small of your back and guides you out of the room. Once reaching your room you part ways so you can both get changed. As you head out to dinner with Ghost, you can’t help but to think how perfect your life is right now. 

Thinking back to that moment so many months ago, with your hand in his while he’s driving, you regret not enjoying these moments more. If you had only known just how much things would change, you would have taken more mental screenshots of it all. But for now, you sit, tied up to a chair in a dingy, smelly bunker, praying you’ll see his face again. 

Chapter Text

It had been nearly 6 months of bliss. Simon and you had spent all of them glued to each other’s sides. Every night you’d spend together minus being apart for a few missions here and there. Really though, there hadn’t been much going on. Graves had slinked off into hiding after you had bombed his headquarters in Belarus. You had been trying to find him again but it’s like he had disappeared off the face of the earth. There wasn’t even a whisper of him anywhere. Most of the missions you went on were to help local authorities take down cartel members and human trafficking rings. Not your favorite thing on earth to do. The depth of cruelty in some humans made you sick to your stomach. 

Things fell into a routine with the group, several recruits from your sniper class had been considered to join your team and Price had been waiting on word from you before everything went to shit. Despite your initial impression, it turned out that Sarah and her friend Alice were the best two of the entire group and you just needed to make a decision. You had spent several weeks with them training them in other areas, Ghost handling the field training. They still hopelessly followed him around like lost dogs but for the most part, they had been professional. 

Keegan and Holly had found a house off base, and a lot of your nights were spent there along with Simon. The four of you had grown close, you’d even looked at a house down the street from them to buy with Simon. Your white picket dreams were in arms reach, you were just waiting to see if your offer had been accepted by the sellers.

One lazy morning in bed, as you finished making love to Simon, your phone had gone off. It was a text from Price telling everyone to get to the briefing room. You had joked around while getting dressed together and made your way there hand in hand. You replay the conversation in your mind over and over. 

“We found him, Graves. He’s now located in northern Italy.  We have satellite images confirming that he, as well as his second-in-command Sergeant Werner are there themselves.” Price’s voice had been grim, cutting through the air like a cold blade. The news was like an icy shock to your system, sending shivers down your spine. You and Simon exchanged glances, both of you realizing the calm before the storm had ended.

Sitting in the briefing room, you listened intently to the information Price presented, Graves had been hiding in plain sight, leveraging his connections with criminal organizations to shield himself from detection. He was now operating out of a heavily fortified compound in the Italian mountains. Simon had reached over and gave your hand a squeeze as the discussion concluded. Price laid out the plan for a direct assault on the compound. It was dangerous, but the threat Graves posed needed to be eliminated once and for all. 

At the end, Ghost had spoken up, “You’re not going Kas, they want you, it’s too dangerous.”

“You’re not going to stop me, I’m not letting you go without me. We’re in this together Simon.” you had argued back.

It had ended up being your first real fight. Both of you standing up by the end of it, screaming at each other. Finally, you had walked out of the briefing room in a rage. He was being so hard-headed, there was no way you’d let your team go without you. Price had talked with Simon after the blow-up for hours, assuring him that you would be safe. He had promised Simon that all of them would make sure you were never in there alone and that this would be ended finally. “We go in together, we leave together Simon. You can’t force her to stay back on this.” he had pleaded. 

In the days that followed, preparations for the mission were put into motion. Your team diligently went over everything again and again. Fine-tuning strategies and adjusting things throughout the way. The night before you left, you and Simon were in bed together, his this time. He had sighed and turned to you. “You know I’ve been thinking, once all of this is over, where do you see yourself? I never really thought of my future before, I just always assumed I’d do this until I couldn’t, until I finally died out there. But I don't know anymore. I want more. With you, if you’ll have me.”

“I don’t know Si, you think you’re built for the husband life? The minivan, soccer games. Ugh, you'd make such a hot coach, oooo lordy." You giggled and he had groaned "What's this really about though, why bring this up now?" 

He laid there for a long time drawing circles on your back, "I've been doing this for so long. Longer than I should, longer than anyone should have to really. I used to feel like, if I could make the world a better place, maybe no one would have to go through what I went through. But it's a never-ending battle. The world will go on whether or not I'm lurking in the shadows. I guess.. I just want to be happy. And this isn't it for me anymore. You've shown me that there's a possibility, a hope for something else. I cant lose you. I'd give up all of this to just have you safe." He leaned over and kissed your forehead. 

“We just need to get this done. There’s no way I’d even be able to enjoy anything, always looking over my shoulder.” you sighed. "But yes, I know what you mean. I even told Soap months ago, when you were missing for that day. I'm so thankful because it brought me you, and everyone on the team, Holly.. But I had been ready to leave it all behind. I had actually until Cap dragged me back into this whole thing. Not that I was really living but it was nice to not always be looking over my shoulder not knowing if I'd make it through the next mission." You ran your fingers through his hair. "Maybe one day, who knows. Even the best-laid plans fail Si. You and I know that more than anyone." 

The day you left, you had dropped in a few miles north of the compound and made your way there. The sun was shielded off your backs by the mountains as you worked your way down them towards the compound. It was an old mansion, tucked high up among the trees. If you were here for any other reason, you would’ve stopped just to take in the beauty of the landscape. It was breathtaking. 

Your team was spread out, each member moving with precision and purpose. The intel you had suggested that Graves’ compound was well-guarded, but the silence surrounding it was unnerving. It was too quiet. You couldn’t even spot a sniper on the roof or anywhere. As you approached the mansion, you went over in your head the details of the plan, the strategies you had drilled into memory. Stay together, find them both, and take them out. Clear the house like you’ve cleared countless buildings. You make it the rest of the way down the mountain and push inside with ease, only running into 3 or 4 people. Once you clear all the rooms you group back up at the bottom of the stairs, everyone staring at each other half confused. Was it bad intel? It couldn’t have been, you had quadruple-checked. They were both supposed to be here. 

Suddenly, everything around you exploded and you were blown backward. Not unconscious but the force of the blast knocked everyone on their backs. You scramble to get up, ears ringing, dust hanging in the air. Suddenly you feel a sharp pinch in your neck as you lie on the floor. The room gets blurry and you feel yourself being dragged backwards. The last thing you see is Ghost, screaming, grabbing for you until he’s thrown backward, taking a gunshot to the chest. Then your world went dark as the explosions around you continued. 

_________________________

Price had been the first up after the initial blast. As he sat up, he saw a man come in and start dragging you away. As he watched you go limp, he had gone to shoot at the man but when he reached for his gun it wasn't there. He turned to look for it as he heard Ghost screaming. It’s a sound he didn’t think he would ever stop echoing in his mind. He found his weapon and turned back around and saw Ghost fall backward to the floor as he heard a gunshot. It all happened so fast. Just as he made it over to Ghost, another bomb went off and everything was chaos. You grabbed at the back of Ghost’s tac vest, dragging him away towards the front door as Soap and Gaz followed. 

“Where’s Kas??” Soap had screamed.

“She’s gone mate, they took her.” Gaz answered.

“We have to move, the whole thing’s going to come down on us!” Price screamed, dragging Ghost’s body through the threshold. “Help me carry him!”

Soap grabbed Ghost ankles and everyone quickly got back to the cover of the trees, making their way further east to where the exfil helicopter was on standby. Halfway there, Ghost woke up screaming and started thrashing around. “KAS, KAAAAAAS! NO, KAS! LET ME GO! WE NEED TO GET HER!” His frenzied cries filled the air as the team struggled to carry him to safety. His desperate pleas to save you resonated with the anguish that consumed the entire squad. Price, Soap, and Gaz shared a grim look. There was no time to explain that you were gone. The mission had gone south the moment you entered the compound. 

“We can’t, the whole house was blown up, we have to move.” Price had said, “Your vest catch the bullet? Are you good?”

“I DON'T CARE, WE NEED TO GO BACK!” Ghost screamed as he tried running back towards the ruined mansion. 

Soap and Price grabbed his arms and dragged him backward, dodging punches, through the forest, downhill. “Simon! Listen to me, lad, we can’t go back, it’s too dangerous. I’m sorry, we have to go or none of us will make it.” 

Eventually, as the sight of what was left of the house faded from view, Ghost stopped fighting. His chest was heaving and he was in a ton of pain from being shot in the chest. Luckily his vest had caught it but it was a close call. Price called the exfil while running, telling them to be ready for departure. As the neared the exfil point, the sounds of a firefight grew louder behind them. Bullets whizzed past, and the air was filled with tension. The helicopter’s rotor blades churned up a cloud of dust and leaves as it sat in it’s designated location. Once they all reached the helicopter, Ghost dropped to his knees in the middle of the floor, punching it over and over and over again. 

“FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUUUUUCK!” Every word was punctuated by a knuckle-shattering strike. He was facing away from everyone and yanked his mask off, burying his face in his hands. Price could see his shoulders wracked with sobs as tears mixed with the blood on the floor from his hands. He leaned back on his heels and let out a guttural scream. The cramped space inside became filled with the weight of Ghost’s anguish. His voice reverberated through the cabin as he unleashed his torment. The painful reality of your capture hung in the air, as Ghost’s cries slowly subsided, replaced with a solemn silence that enveloped the team.

“Gh-” Soap had started but Price had quickly shaken his head at him. There was nothing anyone could say to him that would help. He choked back his own emotions, feeling sick at the thought of you being captured. He couldn't stand to meet anyone's eyes, taking the blame on himself. It was his failed plan that got them all in there and his failed plan that got you taken from them. Soap was sitting across from him, leaning forward and sobbing. Gaz was next to him, staring at the wall in shock, sick to his stomach. Eventually, Ghost slipped his mask back on and took a seat, eyeblack mostly smeared off and stared blankly at the floor in front of him. When they had touched back down at the base, he had left his things on the helicopter and walked off without saying a word. Keegan and Holly had been waiting when everyone arrived, and when Ghost stomped by them wordlessly and they saw that you weren’t there, Holly had almost fallen on the ground. The devastation hit them both like a ton of bricks. 

“Where is she?” Keegan asked, “Where the fuck is she?”

“They took her.” Price had said, not meeting their eyes.

Price quickly gathered up things, dropped them off at the armory, and made his way to his office. Ghost was already sitting inside. His mask was off and he didn't even flinch when Price had opened his door. He sat and stared at the phone on top of the desk. For a while, neither of them said a word, enveloped in the oppressive silence that had become an uninvited guest in the room. 

"Si-" He had started

"No. No we left her there John. We left her." Ghost had interrupted, choking back another sob.

"There was noth-"

"WE COULD'VE DONE SOMETHING!!! YOU COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING! SHE'S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!! Damnit John. Fuck. I can't do this." Ghost screamed. "We need to go back. Bring more men. She could still be ali-"

"It was a trap. There's nothing left for them there. If she's.. alive.. they're probably already moving her somewhere else." Price said quietly, trying not to throw up at his own words.

"So what then, John? You tell me what you're going to do to fix this. I didn't even fucking want her to go. I fought you on it. You PROMISED me she would be safe!" He ran his hand through his hair and down his face, taking a deep, shuddering breath. "We need to find her. Now. Now isn't even soon enough. Hours ago. Christ, what are we going to do? God what if she’s.." he couldn’t bring himself to say the last part.

“I’m going to go check with Laswell, pull up the drone footage, we will keep one on surveillance. If and when they do move, we will know where. Until then, you’re going to take some time off.”

“I can’t sit in my bloody room on my hands not knowing if Kas is even alive or not.. What if, God she can’t be gone.” Ghost sobs.

Price stood up and walked around his desk, putting a hand on his back. “You can’t just act like nothing happened Ghost. I can’t have you here not thinking clearly. That’s an order. Go, go to your room and stay there. You work out what you need to work out and then you can come back and help us find her.”

As Ghost had left, Price had closed and locked his door. He sank down into his chair, finally letting all the emotions wash over him. He had stayed in there for hours that way, sometimes crying, others just staring off into space. His mind raced with countless thoughts and strategies as he reviewed the limited information he had. He knew Ghost needed time to grieve and process, but they couldn’t afford to waste time. He felt the weight of his role as team leader, the responsibility of bringing you back safely resting squarely on his shoulders. 

In the following days, Price worked with Laswell to analyze the drone footage and gather as much intel as possible. It was painstaking work, piecing together any clues or leads that could reveal your whereabouts after seeing several cars leaving the compound on the footage. There was no room for error. While he continued to operate with his usual calm and stoicism, beneath the surface, the guilt and the urgency weighed heavily on him. He couldn’t bear to think of the pain Ghost was experiencing, and he was determined to bring you back to him.

Days turned into a week, and he couldn’t shake the fear that they were running out of time. Every lead they followed seemed to slip through their fingers. He refused to give up though, knowing that he couldn’t face Ghost with the news that their search had been in vain. In the darkness of his office, surrounded but monitors and maps, he silently vowed to bring you home, no matter the cost. 

Chapter Text

One week. That’s how long Ghost had sat in his bedroom. Barely moving to eat the food left out at his door for him, and only doing that because he knew you wouldn’t want him to slowly kill himself like this. In fact, the only thing that had kept him from just giving in to his desire to longer be on an earth where you may not still exist was the hope that somehow, you were still alive. But in that hope, he found no comfort. Images of you being tortured and who knows what else flashed through his mind in a never-ending steam. 

The first night you were gone, after he had left Price’s office, he had drank himself sick. About halfway through his bottle of bourbon, he could almost hear your voice again. Three-quarters of the way through, he could see you when he closed his eyes. When he had finished it off, he could nearly feel you next to him. 

Soap had come by the next day, probably to make sure that he was still alive. He hadn’t bothered turning his phone back on yet. “Fucking Christ, lad.” Soap said as Ghost opened the door for him and quickly shut it. Seeing Ghost without his mask on, still wearing half his gear from the mission was unsettling. He’d never seen his face before, Ghost was so protective over the whole issue. He didn’t know whether he should even look.

“What do you want?” Ghost asked, his vacant eyes staring into the void as if he were looking for a way to escape his crushing reality.

“Just making sure you’re not doing something stupid in here, Kas wouldn’t want that,” he replied

“I don’t even know if she’s alive for sure Johnny. She was thrown back next to me and I thought I saw her move, but when they were dragging her… God. She was just limp.” The words tasted like acid on his tongue. 

Soap kneels down in front of him, “We will find her Ghost, either way. Price is doing everything he can.”

A flicker of emotion crossed Ghost’s face, a mixture of anger and profound sadness. He finally spoke, his voice a mere whisper, hoarse from crying. “Price is doing everything he can? Price is the reason she's gone. He should have never had her go on that mission.”

“Ghost, you can’t blame him. She wouldn’t have stood for being left behind on this and you know it. I know it’s not the same as what you have with her, but we all love her, lad.”

“You’re right, it’s not the same. You couldn’t possibly have any idea.. She is everything to me, everything.” he shamelessly breaks down and sobs. 

Soap had eventually left, after convincing him to turn on his phone and at least respond once a day so they don’t have to break his door down. He took his gun too, it had been sitting next to him on the bed. “I can’t lose you both, you’re my best friends.” Soap had said. Ghost, desperate to be alone again agreed, just to get him out of his room.

He didn’t want to hear any of it. The events replayed over and over in his mind. It had been a nasty explosion but he was right next to you when it happened, and it wasn’t enough to kill you he thought. He blamed Price but he also blamed himself. He was right there. Right fucking there. And you were still taken from him.

Several nights later he finally changed his clothing and took a shower. He had been putting it off, trying to keep the smell of you around him. It was long gone now, covered up by dried blood, dirt, bourbon, and specks of his own vomit. He almost threw up again as he removed any trace of your existence from himself. His chest heaved as he panted and punched the wall of the shower, knocking over the bottles of shampoo you kept in there since you stayed with him half the time. He stared down at them and watched the swirls of blood and grime wash down the drain. 

Once done with that he had spent hours scrolling through pictures of you on his phone. Some of you are in bed, asleep in his shirt. Others of your smiling face as he kissed your cheek. Tons of you all geared up on the way to a mission, he had documented all the ways he had painted your face up in the plane with eyeblack. As he scrolled he came across a video he had taken, you were at Holly and Keegan’s house, doing the robot dance on the back patio while wearing an empty box on your head. You had cut out holes for eyes. He listened to you laughing, a flicker of a smile on his face, quickly replaced with the nothingness he now was. Another one came up, you had been challenged to race Gaz across the field outside and asked him to record it as proof that you were faster. You were, and you had teased Gaz for weeks.

His room had become a prison. A suffocating cell where his mind could only dwell on the darkest possibilities. The guilt weighed heavily on him. He believed he failed you, that he should have been faster, stronger, smarter, to prevent your capture. Every night, he’d replay the moments of your abduction, tormenting himself with the image of your limp body being dragged away. As the days passed, Ghost’s body began to show the physical toll of his emotional agony. He had lost weight, his unshaven face bore the signs of neglect, and his eyes were shadowed with exhaustion. He hardly slept, instead driven to replay the past in his mind, seeking an answer he couldn’t figure out.

A week in, he finally reached his breaking point. He knew he couldn’t continue like this, that the darkness and isolation was consuming him. He had wandered down the hall to your room, desperate to feel close to you, but as soon as he opened the door, he couldn’t even go inside. It smelled too much like you. Instead, he went to Price’s office looking for a more in-depth update as to what was going on. He sat down in the chair and yanked his mask off, throwing it on his desk. 

“You look like shit Simon.” Price said not looking much better himself.

“Feel like it.” he grunted back. “Did you find her yet?”

“We’re working on it. They picked up and moved like I assumed they would and we followed them to France. I think we might have their location and I have eyes on the ground but we need confirmation before we just charge in there again. We don’t know if she’s with them, there’s been no talk of her.”

Ghost didn’t bother replying, he just grabbed his mask again, yanked it back on, and left. Eventually, he made it to the dining room, grabbed some food, and sat down with the group. Soap, Gaz, and the two recruits Sarah and Alice were there. Soap and Gaz just stared down at their trays, not wanting to meet his eyes and upset him. They knew him long enough to know that any little thing would likely set him off. And they didn’t blame him. 

“I’m really sorry to hear about Kasper,” Alice said and she touched his wrist.

Ghost stared down at her hand on him for a few seconds. “I’m sure you are.” he spat at her, trying to make it unclear that he was uncomfortable with her mention of you. 

“If you need to talk to someone or anyth-” she started.

“Get your fucking hand off me.” He snapped.

She yanked her hand back and turned red with embarrassment. He didn’t care. How dare she touch him, he wasn’t blind to how she treated him. He was sure she was about to try and slide into your place, as a comfort, fix all his problems. Disgusting. If you were here you would’ve cut her hand off and he would’ve let you. 

He spent the rest of the day, walking around, trying to desperately see you, anywhere, though he knew it was useless. Eventually, he made his way back to his room and threw himself on his bed. Images of your face filled his mind. He missed so badly the warmth of your body next to his, the sound of your laughter, the taste of your kisses. The fight to bring you home was far from over, but he knew he couldn’t give up until you were safe in his arms again. And God help anyone who stood in his way. 

______________

You wake up with a throbbing headache. Disoriented and confused. As your senses gradually return, you realize you’re in the back of a car. You can’t move your arms, you vaguely realize they’re tied behind you. A low groan escapes from behind your gagged mouth. There’s a hood on over your head but the jutting and bouncing around confirms that you’re being moved somewhere. You struggle a bit, testing out your arms and legs, trying to desperately stretch yourself out. You feel another pinch and the world gets dark again.

Hours later, you wake again, trying to lift your head off your chest but it’s so heavy from the fogginess of being drugged. You still have a hood on, but you’re now tied to a chair. You can feel it underneath you. Your hands are tied up behind it and your ankles are secured to the legs of it. Panic sets in as you try to remember what happened. The last thing you recall is being separated from your team after the first explosion. Images of Simon being shot flash through your mind as your heart starts to race. With a surge of adrenaline, you begin testing your restraints. The ropes around your wrists feel tight, but you wriggle your fingers trying to find any possible weakness. There was none. A muffled groan escapes through your gag as you strain to lift your head. 

You strain to listen for any hints, any sound or movement to clue you in on where you are or if anyone is with you. Each subtle movement is slowed by whatever drug they had pumped into you. They have sapped your strength and clouded your mind. While struggling, you realized you had been stripped down to your underwear and sports bra. You gag at the thought of them undressing you and try desperately not to throw up so you won’t choke on it.  As you continue to struggle, a layer of sweat covers your bare skin and it makes you shiver in the cool and dim environment you’re in. You finally stop, letting your body go limp. Had Simon survived? Had any of them? Does anyone even know you’re gone? How long has it been?

You sit there like that for minutes, hours, you don’t know, there’s no concept of time to you. Finally, you hear a metal door open, its squeaking hinges perk up your senses and your heart starts racing again. You freeze, not knowing what to expect next. You can hear a set of footsteps slowly coming your way until they stop right in front of you. Looking down through your hood you catch a sliver of combat boots half covered by black pants standing on a wooden floor. The person just hovers there, inches from you for several long minutes. Suddenly, your hood is yanked off, your head snaps up with it when it catches your chin roughly. You struggle to lift your head to meet the face of your captor squinting against the sudden influx of light from the bright overhead fixture hanging above you. Your eyes slowly adjust, and you find yourself face to face with cold, unfeeling eyes.

“Rise and shine dear. Did you miss me?” Kenny says as he stands there with a wicked grin. “Oh that's right.. You can’t talk.” He reaches forward and slips a knife under your gag and cuts it away, slicing your cheek in the process. “There we are, much better, huh?”

You take a few labored breaths, working your jaw and trying to get the soreness out of it. Your mouth is dry from the rag being shoved in it for hours. You swallow and it’s like sandpaper. You can taste the blood that trickles into your mouth and it does little to help your desiccated tongue. Swallowing hard, you finally manage to rasp out, “Fuck you.”

Kenny just continues to grin at you, a disturbing mixture of amusement and malice. “No thanks, could hardly stomach it before. Let alone with… this shit all over you. Fuck you look disgusting. Look at yourself. All those scars..” he walks in a circle around you, dragging his knife down your face to your neck, shoulders, arm, stomach, and clear down your thigh as he speaks. 

“What do you want with me, why are you doing this?” you ignore his insults. 

“With you? Nothing, you’re not that special. No.. More of a tool really. For all sorts of things, it turns out. Who knew some pitiful, fucking bitch, would come in so handy.” he says with his face inches from yours. His words send shivers down your spine. As you look into his eyes, you can’t even see a trace of the man you had loved once. The man that had promised you the world. “As for why? Money. I work for Graves and he pays me to dispose of the teams that give him trouble. It’s business. Fucking you was just icing on the cake for me.”

“For now, you can sit here. I’ll be back.” he says as he straightens back up and leaves, slamming the door behind him.

Chapter Text

You and Simon are in his car on the way to dinner. It’s your first official ‘date’ you joke. He holds your hand the whole way and you both talk about your new classes you had started that day. 

“Those girls are going to be a problem if they can’t control themselves around you, not that I blame them,” you laugh. “I swear they were going to start drooling.”

Simon rolled his eyes, “I honestly don’t know what the big deal is, I’m an asshole.” He pulls into the place, it’s a little Chinese food joint close to the base. You’ve learned by now to sit and wait like a good girl for Simon to get out and walk around to open your door for you. He gets pissy if you don’t. He helps you out and walks you inside.

“Ghost! Welcome! Sit, sit, the usual?” the man behind the counter says.

“Please,” he said as he slid into a corner booth, taking a seat in the very back of the restaurant so he could see everything. A habit. You slide in next to him and the man brings over some waters and a menu for you. 

You raised your eyebrow at him after the man walks off, “First name basis huh? That's adorable.”

“Hush it, love, when you eat as much as I do, you’re everyone's favorite customer.” he laughed as he squeezed your leg under the table, his hand sliding up and teasing your upper thigh.

Your eyes snap back open as the door to your cell creaks open. It’s Kenny again and he’s carrying a small duffel bag. He throws it to the ground with a loud thunk and pulls a chair over from the corner of the room. He slides it right in front of you and takes a seat, leaning backward and spreading out so that your knees are in between his. He takes a knife out and starts idly twirling it around in his hands. 

“Alright, Kasper - it’s still Kasper right?- this is how this is going to work.” he points the knife in your face. “YOU are going to tell me what I want to know, and then I’m going to kill you and every single person on that fucking team of yours.”

“That’s not very motivating.” you spit at him and he flashes his eyes in anger.

“Perhaps I should be more motivating then?” he gently drags his knife across the top of your scarred thigh, barely breaking the surface but hard enough that you can see tiny rivulets of blood pucker at the surface. You don’t even flinch. He’s giving up more information than you are, maybe a mistake on his part. If he’s going to kill everyone on your team, that means they’re still alive. You process all the information quickly and smile at him. 

“I’d like to see you try.” you laugh at him. He reaches forward and in a flash, slaps you so hard you see stars. 

“Still a fucking cunt I see. You always did have a nasty attitude,” he growls, his chest heaving with anger. You lean forward and spit on him and he jumps up, his chair clattering to the ground below him. He grabs your jaw so hard you wonder if it will break. “By the end of this, you WILL tell me where they are at and what they are planning.” he sneers, his face almost touching yours and you can feel his hot breath on you. He roughly lets go and sets his chair back up. 

“You’re a fucking coward. Having to tie me up and take cheap shots. Fucking pussy.” you sneer at him. He loses control and punches you, and this time, you do black out. As your head lolls around you’re thrown back into another memory.

You and Simon are over at Keegan and Holly’s house. They were hosting their first barbeque, you were helping Holly cut up some potatoes in the kitchen. 

“Can I just say, I love this for you girl. I’m so happy for you.” you whisper to her, trying to keep your voice low so the guys don’t hear you in the next room. “Good for you for letting this happen.”

“Right?? I couldn’t have done it without you though.. I’m still like just in shock. I could die happy right now, for real.” she said, “Plus being able to have LOUD sex… ugh worth every penny we paid for this house.” she giggled as she bumped her hip into you. “You and Ghosty need to get a place.”

“I know, we talked about it. I just feel like I’m asking for too much from him sometimes. He’s really totally changed and I keep waiting for him to be like, nope, too much. And back off.” you said.

“No. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. My guess is he pops the question within the next few months. And I better fucking be there when he does.” she laughed.

You eventually come to and see that the room is empty again. As you spit out some blood, you run your tongue across all your teeth to make sure they’re still there. He had hit you hard enough to knock a few loose but everything was still there. You can feel the beginning of a black eye forming, one of your eyes can already barely be opened. Bastard . Your thoughts drift back to Simon and your teammates, wondering what they were doing. Hopefully, Simon hasn’t killed Price, you know he’s going to place the blame on him. He had fought so hard to keep you behind. The guilt of not listening to him sunk in. Maybe he was mad at you too. For never listening to him, for always being too stubborn to know what's good for you. You had never yelled at each other until that argument. After you had walked out during the fight, Simon had found you hours later at the range. “Come here, love, I’m sorry I spoke to you like that. I’m not proud of it.” he had said. 

You take a long look around the room, trying to find anything useful but there is nothing. Your face aches and throbs, your throat feels like you swallowed glass. You know you need to come up with a plan to get out of here but how can you even do anything when your hands and legs are bound to this God-forsaken chair? Fuck. This.

Kenny doesn’t come back for hours. When he comes back in, you merely guess it’s the next day based on his change of clothes. How long have I been here already? Two days? Three? He walks in with the bag again, tossing it to the side. Suddenly someone else follows him in and shuts the door.

“Kasper, meet my friend Doctor Carter.” He says with a smile. “Say hello to him, don’t be rude.” You say nothing and glare at them. “Tsk, tsk. Where’s your manners?”  He slaps you. “Tell. Him. Hello.”

“Go to hell.” you spit out. You know you’re not helping yourself out but the thought of having to follow orders like a puppet makes you enraged. Kenny had always been an asshole, but when you had been together you had seen him as confident, dominant, and charismatic. Now you see it for what it is. He’s a fucking prick.

“Now, now. That’s not very ladylike, but… I’ll let it slide this time, I’m sure it's upsetting being here, away from… Ghost? Really, Kas, him? A new low for you. I wonder though.. Did he even make it? He took a nasty hit I hear…” he walks around behind you and cuts your hands free and you immediately start thrashing. You launch yourself off the chair, forgetting your ankles are tied and land on the floor. Barely catching yourself before you faceplant. Kenny and the doctor each grab hold of an arm and shove you back into place, retying your hands to each arm of the chair. “Now, now.. Calm down pet.” 

The doctor shoves a bottle of water into your mouth and you choke. “Drink.” he says.

You sputter and gag on the water being forced down your throat, some of it coming back out of your nose and burning tears into your eyes. Finally, he pulls it away and you sit there gasping for breath. 

“Tell me where they are, Kasper.” Kenny says quietly.

“No.” you choke back, still sputtering.

Doctor Carter and him share a long look and Kenny nods. The doctor walks to the bag and opens it, pulling out a syringe and a vial. He drops down in front of you, speaking quietly with a german accent. “You see this vial? Inside is something that will make you wish for death. If you would like to not have what is inside of here, inside of you, you will answer.”

Your eyes dart quickly between the vial and syringe and your heart races. You glance up at Kenny again. “Fine.. I’ll tell you.” You hang your head.

“Spit it out then bitch.” he sneers.

“Have you checked your mom's house?” Kenny reaches forward and slaps you again as you laugh. Fuck him. There’s nothing they can do to you that will make you talk. You’ll die here if you have to, you decided that the moment you woke up. Your life to keep them all safe. If fate comes full circle and you die, then at least you got a few extra years that by all rights, you shouldn’t have had.

The doctor quickly fills the syringe and you start thrashing around. Kenny grabs one of your arms to keep it flat on the arm of the chair and you feel a sharp prick followed by a searing, white-hot pain traveling up your arm and then throughout your entire body. You can’t help it, you start to scream. 

“Where are they?” he asks again. The pain from the injection is excruciating, shooting through your body like an electric shock. Your screams fill the room as you writhe in agony, your vision blurring from the sheer intensity of the pain. Despite the torment, you fight to keep the information you seek locked away, buried deep within your psyche.

Through gritted teeth and in the midst of your suffering you manage to hiss, “Go to hell.” It’s the only response they’re going to get from you no matter how much they torture you. You see the two men talking but you can’t even focus on what they’re saying. Your body finally gives in to the pain and you pass out. 

Simon and you are looking at a house today and you’re so excited. It’s only 3 houses down from your best friends and totally perfect. You’re both standing on the front porch, waiting on a text from your realtor, she’s supposed to be getting you the code to the lockbox. Finally, she sends it and you make your way inside. It’s absolutely stunning and you skip around the house, stopping in each room. “Ooooo we can get a couch for here, and a big TV there. And.. omg… look at this stove! Ugh, heaven.” you giggle as Simon walks behind you. In his head, he’s trying to figure out where to put security cameras and how to guard all the entry and exit points but he pulls you close when you dance by him and wraps you in a hug. 

“I love it. And I love you. Whatever you want, darling.” he kisses you.

You wake up again. The painful cycle repeats for days. They come in, give you water, torture you until you black out, rinse, repeat. Over and over. The days begin to blur. Your eye that had swollen shut after the first day was finally getting better but that was a minor blip in your long list of injuries. Kenny had tried everything to get you to talk. You were covered head to toe in cuts, and bruises, he had grabbed your hair so hard one day he had pulled out chunks of it. There was a gnarly gash on your eyebrow from being hit with the handle of a knife that had bled all down your face. Without your hands free, it had dried that way, in long drips. You were slowly losing your strength and you knew it. 

Whatever hope you have of escaping is dwindling. Truth is though, you didn’t even have a plan. Maybe if you could get a hand free you could possibly do something but what? The chair you sat in was nailed to the floor and you spent hours trying to rock it back and forth. If anything just tip it over so you can rest your head on the ground. Your shoulders and back are in so much pain from being upright for so long. 

Just under two weeks in, you finally get a little wiggle in your chair. You've been rocking it back and forth for so long, you almost don’t notice it. One more rock to the side confirms it and your heart starts to race. If you could tip you might be able to break the legs of it. OR.. You could alert whatever is outside of that door. It’s a chance you’re willing to take. Kenny shouldn’t be back for hours, having spent the whole day with him and the doctor again. Whatever they had been injecting you with had finally worn off but you can still feel the burning pain. It’s almost a near-constant part of you by now.

You continue to rock the chair back and forth taking care to make as little noise as possible. It’s a painstaking process, you pass out several times, near delirious from the weeks of torture and visions that have been swimming in your mind every time you close your eyes. Gradually, you manage to shift the chair just enough for it to really wobble. You hold your breath as you make the final push, praying that it doesn’t make too much noise and alert your captors. The chair tips over, and you crash to the hard floor with a thud. Pain shoots through your battered body as you hit the ground, but the adrenaline coursing through your veins dulls the immediate agony.

With the last bit of strength you feel you have, you start straining your legs against the straps, trying to break the chair legs now that they’re not nailed to the floor. It takes everything you have but you manage to snap them one by one, the splinters digging into the back of your knees as you kick. You lay there like that for several minutes. You’re hands are still tied to the arms of the chair but you’re too exhausted to move. Come on Kas, get up, get up. You have to move.

You lie there on your side, trying to figure out how to get your arms free. They’re tied with rope to the arms of the chair but there’s only one post holding it together at the seat. If you could maybe get some leverage on the seat you could separate it. Slowly, you work to pull your legs up and hook them on the front of the seat as you lay on your side. You brace yourself and flex your left arm as you try and start pushing down with your feet as you raise your forearm. Fuuuuuck! You can feel the bones in your arm grinding together as you work to break the wood. It doesn’t work. You lay there for much longer this time in and out of consciousness. You try again, this time twisting your foot upward and pushing directly on one of the posts instead, your entire body is screaming trying to contort yourself enough to get leverage. Finally, your leg shoots up in the air, the post splinters free. 

You quickly slide the tie down the front of the arm and pull free. Your head is swimming as you work to untie the other side, your fingernails breaking as you claw away looking for the end of it. Finally, you get it loosened enough to slip your arm through. You take a deep breath and scramble away from the wreckage, feeling the cool, hard floor beneath you. You look up at the heavy metal door praying it's not locked. You never recall hearing them unlock it when they come in so you have hope. With a broken shard of the chair in your hand, you crawl toward the door and reach for the knob and pull yourself up. You’re dizzy, and weak and your muscles burn from disuse. After a few attempts, you manage to turn it and the door creaks open.

Chapter Text

Ghost sits on a helicopter with the rest of the guys. They’re on their way back from a failed mission to find you. Price had tracked the vehicles that left the house in Italy, and they had ended up at a small compound in France. Turns out, they did, just without you in it. How did they miss that? Where had you actually gone to then? It was a quiet ride back to base. Everyone was feeling the weight of the mistake. They were back to no leads. Ghost knew better than to get his hopes up, he’s been along on a lot of hostage rescues and it’s never a sure thing. But rarely do they end up in a situation where the hostage isn’t even there to begin with. He knew Price was frustrated with him but honestly, he didn’t care. They had fought during the days prior, Price wanting more information before they acted but he couldn’t sit there and wait. Not with you out there somewhere being held by monsters. He was covered in blood, head to toe as he sat there staring off into space. He had killed so many Shadow Company members he had lost count. Some with just his gloved hands, wrapped around their necks, “ WHERE IS SHE?” Never finding an answer and it had only fueled his rage. Rarely did he ever lose control and he was still shaking from the adrenaline. 

“I’m sorry Ghost.” Price said to him. He looked much the same, they all did. The entire group was suffering and it showed. He didn’t say anything back. He hadn’t spoken much since you were taken. Only answering if he had to. You being taken had stolen everything from him. The deep sadness he had felt was still there, but everything else had been replaced with a deeper, seething rage. He knew when he found you, he would beat Kenny and Graves so badly that not even a human remains detection dog would be able to find what’s left of them. 

It was silent the rest of the way back. Keegan and Holly were waiting again when they landed. Their expressions matched Ghost’s feelings as he walked by them silently. When he got to his room, he tore off his gear, grabbed a bottle of bourbon, and started the shower. He hadn’t drunk as much as he had the first night again, but he had started slipping into old habits, smoking again too. He knew he shouldn’t, but he was desperately trying to numb himself to the pain he felt constantly. Making such a huge mistake on your location tonight pushed him over the edge again. He took a shaky drink and stepped inside, bringing the bottle with him. 

________________________________

As you peek out into the corridor beyond. It’s dimly lit, but you can’t spot anyone nearby. You silently slip outside the door and tread down the musty, dark hallway. The walls are mostly just wood beams, covered in some sections with sheetrock. There’s a lot of tarps hanging, gently moving from the air blowing out of vents above.

As you turn a corner, you spot a single guard at what looks like the bottom of a set of stairs. You quickly retreat and press your back against the wall, heart pounding in your chest. You can’t take on a guard in your current state. You shouldn’t. One wrong move and he would overpower you, you’re too weak. Carefully you listen for any signs of movement in the corridor, ensuring the guard hasn’t noticed your presence. You tighten your grip on the shard of the chair and take a silent, unsteady breath. There’s no other way, you have to attack him. You peek again and his back is turned. You summon any bit of strength you still have and with deliberate movements, you creep up behind him, inching your way forward. Your heart is racing and every step feels like an eternity. As you get closer, you take note of the guard’s position and body language, you’ll need to time your approach just right to catch him off guard. The element of surprise is your only ally. 

You finally get close and with swift and calculated precision, you drive the makeshift weapon into the guard's neck, just below his ear. His eyes widen in shock as you strike, and a gurgling sound escapes his throat as he slumps to the ground. You quickly grab his handgun from his holster and check it for ammo. Oh, thank fuck it’s full you think. Adrenaline courses through your veins as you stand there, armed and with a solid opportunity to escape. You glance around, making sure no one else is coming, and then make your way up the stairs. 

You pause at the top, putting an ear to the door.  You listen for several minutes, not hearing anything beyond a TV playing somewhere. Maybe a radio? You can’t tell but it doesn’t seem too close. You gently open the door, praying its hinges don’t squeal out an alarm. There’s a wall in front of you with a small table and vase.  You don’t hear anything from either direction beyond the stairs. Slowly you peek out, one side heads towards a kitchen and the other a massive living room with huge glass windows. You shake off the shock, you had expected a warehouse of some sort, not a fucking house. Through the windows, you can see trees in the dim light. A ton of them. It’s misty outside and it clings to the ground telling you it’s either very early, or very late. You double-check your weapon again and flip off the safety before gently stepping onto the carpeted floor. Shit, which way? Your eyes dart back and forth until finally, you decide to go through the kitchen. It’s massive. There are two islands, topped with white marble counters. A fruit basket sits on one and some papers. Sneaking through, you take a glance. It looks like bank statements and printed-out emails.

Your heart sinks as you hear a door at the opposite side of the room open. Quickly you duck down between the two islands and scoot your way to the far side of one. You hear a set of keys being thrown down on the counter behind you. You slam a hand over your own mouth to stifle your breathing as you hear a set of footsteps coming closer. It’s just one set, you’re sure of it. You launch yourself to your feet with a push, spinning to see who has entered. It’s Kenny, and the look on his face is one you’ll etch into memory. The shock that crosses his face is almost comical. 

“What the fu-” he starts. But you shoot him right in the chest and he stumbles backward. When he falls to the ground you run to him and shoot him once more in his head as he looks up at you in disbelief. You don’t even let him say what he’s trying to say, there’s no time and you don’t know who else is here. You search his pockets for a phone and finally find one just as you hear running coming from the other side of the house. Quickly you grab it and then grab the set of keys Kenny had thrown onto the counter and run out the door. You jam your fingers at the key fob trying to figure out which vehicle they belong to, there's a whole row of them parked in a semi-circle along a huge row of shrubs.  You see lights flash on one and throw the door open, climbing behind the wheel and backing out. Shots are being fired at you from several guards that have followed you outside and you hear shots hit the rear window. FUCK YOU! You back right into them, half running them over before putting the SUV in drive and racing down the long rock-covered drive. You nearly tilt on two wheels as you turn on the main road. 

Reaching over for the phone you had tossed into the passenger seat you quickly try to unlock it to make a call but there's a passcode. "FUUUUUUCK! OF COURSE!!" You scream. You look around the car and see an aux cord and plug it in, it connects the the main screen of the car. I'm so fucking smart. 

You quickly use the touch screen of the car and dial Simon's number. It rings.. again.. again… again.. voicemail. "I SWEAR TO GOD YOU BETTER ANSWER YOUR GOD DAMN PHONE SIMON. FUCK!"

You hang up and call again. 

Ring… Ring… Ring…Voicemail. 

Again. 

Ring… Ring… Ring…Voicemail.

Again.

Ring… Ring… Ring… Voicemail.

"FUCK!!!"

As you speed away from the house and attempt to call Simon repeatedly, you’re in total panic. You realize you can’t read any of the street signs. It looks like French though. Great, this should be good. Why won't he pick up?? You flash briefly to a few days ago in the basement when Kenny had tried telling you that no one was even looking. “Why would they, Kasper, look at you.. They left you there, they could have done something and they didn’t."

When he had first said it, you had just been injected with whatever the doctor kept using on you, and for a brief moment, you did believe him. You were so mentally and physically broken, that it made sense. How could they leave you there? “They were just using you like I was, you mean nothing to them.” For a second, the worst parts of you could see it. Simon not answering his phone was bringing to the surface all of it, your insecurities, the words Kenny whispered to you. 

You swallow a sob and try dialing Soap’s number now. No answer. “Soap.. Please answer, it’s me, It’s Kas.. Please help me” you choke out and then hang up. You glance at the clock, 3:37 a.m. If you’re in France, you should be in the same time zone. Great, they’re probably asleep. You drive further, putting as much distance as you can between you and that house. You look at yourself briefly in the rearview mirror and let out a gasp. From what you can see, your face is covered in blood and bruises. Holy shit. As the adrenaline wears off, you start to shake and it takes everything you have to not pass out. No, you have to keep going. Who knows if anyone followed you. You don’t dare stop anywhere, there could be trackers on the vehicles. You already have Kenny’s phone and that’s like having a bright fucking spotlight on you to the entire Shadow Company. 

You pound the steering wheel in frustration and start jamming Holly’s number into the screen. It rings and rings. Voicemail. You try again. On the third try, her sleepy voice answers. “Who the fuck is this and why are you calling me at-”

“HOLLY! PLEASE DON’T HANG UP IT’S KASPER!” you scream.

“Kas..KASPER?? Oh my GOD! KEEGAN, KEEGAN WAKE UP!” you hear her talking to Keegan and him grumbling in the background, and then take the phone. “Kasper, where are you? What the fuck? Are you ok?”

“I don’t know, I’m somewhere in France I think. I broke out and ran. I'm driving I stole Kenny's phone and I’m scared they’re following me. Please help me please I can’t go back there” you ramble and start sobbing. All of your emotions just flood out at the sound of your friend’s voices. You hear Holly talking to Keegan in the background. 

“Stay on the phone, I’m going to set it down and get dressed and head to the base. Keep driving, whatever you do don’t stop. I’ll get a location on you but I can’t do it from here. Stay with me, hang on.” you heard him switch over to speakerphone. He and Holly are both getting dressed, banging around. 

“Kas, I can't fucking believe it! -Call Price, Keegs- What happened?? It's been two fucking weeks." She says. You can hear her scrambling around. "Fuck the boots babe let's go, tie them later oh my god." She picks the phone back up. "Are you there? Sorry, -keys Keegan- We're leaving now Kas. Are you ok?"

"I don't know, Holly. It's bad. Really bad" You start sobbing again, unable to talk.

"OK sweetie, you're ok, you're ok just breathe in… out… innn. You got this you bad ASS fucking BITCH. You said it was Kenny? I hope you fucking killed that son of a bitch."

"He's dead.” you answer. 

“We’re in the car now. Are you still driving? Is there any way you can pull up the maps?”

“No, I can’t without unlocking the screen. I have it plugged in and it lets me get to the phone app on the dash but it won't connect to anything else, I tried.”

“Ok, what street signs do you see?”

“ They’re all French, hang on, this say A20? An arrow to the left says Vierzon? I don’t know. It looks like I’m coming up on a highway or something.”

“Keegan, give me your phone. Vier..zon.. France.. Hang on I’m looking. Ok yes turn left and go there. How much gas do you have? Oh oh, hang on Price is calling back. - Price? Price it’s Kas,  she escaped, she called me. Ok, hang on." 

You hear Price's voice on speaker. "Kas? Oh my god, where are you?" He asks and you repeat what you've told Holly. 

"Ok, listen to me. Get in town. Back into a parking spot at a petrol station, can you do that? Do not leave the car. I’m headed down to the comms room to get a track on the cell number. I’m going to get a chopper ready and head your way. Do not hang up the phone or turn off the car when you get there. I’ll tell you where to go as soon as I can.”

“Yes, yes I can do that. Please hurry. I don’t know how long I have before they track me down in this.” you whisper. The tension in your chest slowly eases as you finally start to see the lights of the city. The minutes pass like hours, and the car’s engine hums, a comforting sound of freedom. You stay on the line with Holly, reading off street signs and telling her where you eventually park. You both cry mostly, there are no words really either one of you can say. She doesn’t push for specifics and you’re grateful. Your head is swimming from lack of sleep, your adrenaline dump, your injuries. Everything swims in front of you as you listen to Holly’s voice. It’s a constant comfort and you feel yourself slipping in and out of consciousness as you try to desperately stay awake. 

You watch as people come and go from the station and it’s surreal. They’re all going about their day, oblivious to you. It’s almost an out-of-body experience, you feel so disconnected. You watch a mom hold her toddler's hand and they pass by your car and go inside, later coming back out, the little girl is skipping holding a sucker. You watch as an elderly couple go inside, the husband holding the door open for his wife, guiding her in with his hand. She reaches up and touches his face as she passes. Your throat tightens and you let out a strangled sound. It’s a reminder of how alone you feel right now. 

No one’s said anything about Ghost. You’re scared to ask. Maybe they’re not saying anything because.. Maybe he didn’t make it. You saw him get shot. You try and push the thought from your mind. It’s too much to even consider. You had called and called… but nothing. 

“Kasper? Are you there?” Holly’s voice pulls you from the darkness again. You stretch a bit, flinching at the pain all over your body. One huge gash in your thigh reopens, for the third time since you’ve escaped and begins bleeding again. You can feel it trickling down either side of your thigh, making the leather seat sticky. The feeling makes you gag but you have nothing in you to even throw up. 

“Yeah, I’m here,” you say, half out of it, you can barely hold your eyes open. 

“You need to go south again the way you came…..

You don’t hear the rest. Your body finally gives out and you slump down into the seat. 

Chapter Text

It’s just past 3 AM and Price sits in his office. They had just gotten back a few hours ago from the failed rescue mission. He had quickly showered and came to his office, unable to sleep. His entire team was falling apart. Gaz wasn't showing up for anything during the day, if he did he was just there. Totally zoned out in his own hell. Soap.. was a different problem. He had sent several recruits to the infirmary after temporarily taking over Ghost's job of training them. As much as a headache the paperwork was from it, Price didn’t blame him. How could he? If he was in Soap’s position and not the one who's in charge, he would be doing the same thing. Ghost.. Well, Ghost was, not doing well, at all. After he had spent a week locked in his room, Price had argued with him about the intel he’d received. Ghost wanted to go in guns blazing, but he had a feeling it was a distraction. He knew Graves wasn’t stupid, no way would they lead the team to the next place so easily knowing they were being monitored. In the end, he gave in. On the off chance you were actually there, he’d never forgive himself for denying the team a shot to get you back. 

He lit another cigar, leaning back and running a hand down his face. He opened his laptop to start the paperwork when he checks his phone and sees he missed several calls from Keegan. It was still on silent from the mission. He quickly calls him back “Whatever this is better be good, do you know what time it is Keegan?"

It wasn’t Keegan’s voice that answered and it made him slightly panic. “Price? Price it’s Kas,  she called me.” she says.

Price’s heart nearly jumped from his chest as he almost tipped back in his chair. His exhaustion dissipates instantly as he listens to Holly’s frantic words. The room feels electric with tension, and he leans forward, his eyes fixed on his laptop, ready to take down any information.

“Kas is alive? Let me talk to her.” Price demands, his voice sharp and focused. He pulls up a map on his computer as he talks with Holly and he hears himself being put on speakerphone.  "Kas? Oh my god, where are you?" He listens to your answers, and he quickly gets a rough idea, pulling up the town on the map.

"Ok, listen to me. Get in town. Back into a parking spot at a petrol station, can you do that? Do not leave the car. I’m headed down to the comms room to get a track on the cell number. I’m going to get a chopper ready and head your way. Do not hang up the phone or turn off the car when you get there. I’ll tell you where to go as soon as I can.”`

Price doesn’t waste a second. He ends the call with Holly and rushes out of his office, making his way to the communication center. The urgency is palpable as he briefs the comms team on duty, instructing them to locate you and prepare a rescue operation. 

Inside the comms room, he watches the techs working fervently to trace your location. The room was filled with a hum of activity as they tapped into all available resources to pinpoint your position. Price can’t help but feel a surge of hope, but it’s mixed with concern. Your survival and escape were remarkable, but the extent of your injuries remains unknown. Minutes later, one of the techs looks up and nods to Price, indicating they’ve located the cell signal. He looks at the map and finds a clearing roughly a mile away and calls in for a helicopter, relaying the plan. 

After that’s settled, he runs down the hall, Gaz’s room is closest and he bangs on his door to wake him up. It takes a few minutes but he finally answers the door.

“What the fuck, what’s going on?” he asks, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Kas escaped, wheels up in 20, let's go.” Price grunts out and takes off for Soap’s room, not waiting for a response as Gaz’s jaw drops. He bangs like hell on his door, “SOAP, JOHNNY open up come on.” Finally, he hears him cussing inside.

“Move your arse Soap, wheels up in 20, we’re getting Kasper.” He hears him answer something through the door and it sounds like he falls out of bed. Price runs to Ghost’s room. After 5 minutes of banging, he finally opens the door, half drunk and asleep.

“For fucks sake lad, sober up, get dressed.” He says.

“Fucking hell John, what’s goin' on.” Ghosts asks, running a hand over his face, fixing his mask he had hastily pulled on.

“Kas escaped, I’ll explain in the chopper, get dressed, let's go. And brush your fucking teeth, I can smell the bourbon from here lad.” Price says to him and walks off.

_______________________________

Ghost sits in the helicopter with everyone an hour later on the way to France for the second time in 24 hours. After Price had woken him up, he had quickly gotten dressed, splashed some water on his face and ran to the tarmac. He had made it out there first and had pulled his phone out to call Price when he saw all the missed calls. When he listened to your voicemail, he had almost dropped to the ground. 

His hands shake as he sits and barely hears Soap and Gaz talking with Price. His thoughts are consumed with you and what you must have gone through. He takes his phone out and plays your voicemail again, for the 26th time since taking off. He hadn’t been there for you for the second time now. Too fucking drunk and passed out. It makes him want to throw up but he chokes it back. 

“Ghost.. GHOST!” Price’s voice cuts through his thoughts and he looks up at him. “Hey, it’s alright mate, it’ll be ok. Holly is still on the phone with her, she’s still safe. Stop beating yourself up, you’ve done that enough.”

“If it makes you feel any better, she called me too and I missed it, lad.” Soap says.

“It doesn’t. She needed us. We couldn’t even bloody find her, and then when she calls, where am I? Passed out half pissed out me head.” Ghost says, leaning his head back, stretching his shoulders, and sighing. “Oh she’s going to batter all of us though. Rightfully so.”

Ghost looks over at Price and sees him holding his hands to his ears, pushing his headset on tighter to hear better, with a worried look on his face. “Fuck, ok... No, it’ll be faster if we just drop in. If we land at that base and drive that’s an extra hour…. Copy.” he says to Keegan who’s back in the comms room relaying information.

“Alright everyone, Holly lost contact with Kas. She’s either unconscious or something happened. Get your gear ready, we’re going to drop in instead. Gaz set the ropes up. We can just drive the car she’s in and meet the heli when we have her. -No I don’t give a shit if it’s in the middle of a city, I’m dropping in, approval or not.-” He’s arguing with someone else on his headset. “Tell Laswell if she has a problem with it.. Ok. Copy. - Alright guys, 3 minutes out.”

The helicopter roars on as it crosses the early morning sky. With Price’s orders, the team readies its gear, and anticipation builds. Ghost can hardly take waiting the last few minutes and stands up, hanging on to the open door, ready to slide down. They’re coming for you, no failure this time. He clutches his weapon, checking it one last time, and slips its strap over his head and one arm. 

As they hover over the city, Price finally gives the nod and Ghost kicks the ropes down and the team begins their descent. The cool morning air rushes past them as they slide down the ropes one by one. Adrenaline courses through Ghost’s veins as he gets closer and closer to you. As they reach the ground, people start screaming and chaos breaks out. Soap, Gaz, and Price spread out, keeping guard and trying to calm the civilians, keeping them back away from the SUV. 

Ghost runs to the vehicle and cups his hands to the window to see in. You're slumped over in the driver's seat. He tries the handle and it’s locked so he slams the butt of his gun into the window, breaking it and reaching in to open the door. When he gets his first real look at you, the color drains from his face. You’re slumped onto the steering wheel, half-dressed and covered in blood. What’s not streaked in blood is colored in bruising, little round burns that look like they had put cigarettes out on your skin, and he spots rope burns around your wrists. His worst fears are so violently confirmed he’s almost undone on the spot. 

“Kas.. KAS.. Baby wake up, come on. You’re safe now, we’ve got you.” he says urgently, his voice filled with a mixture of concern and relief. His hands move quickly as he checks you over, searching for a pulse. Your skin is burning with fever and you’re totally unresponsive. He finally finds a pulse, weak but it’s there. His own heart is pounding in his chest as he tries again to wake you. Seeing you in such a horrific state fuels his panic. He gently slides his arms behind your back and under your legs and peels you from the seat. You’re nearly glued there by your own dried blood. “Come on, love, we’re getting you out of here, I promise,” he whispers as he backs up to transfer you to the back seat.

The rest of the team jumps in the car. Price pauses for a second looking at the driver's seat and chokes back nausea as he sees the bloodstains left behind. “Fucking hell.” he says as he slides in. Ghost listens as Price calls the helicopter pilot and tells him to go ahead and land. He cradles your head and runs his fingers through your hair as Soap starts tending to the worst of your injuries in the back seat. He notices chunks of hair missing from your bloody scalp, “Bloody hell, love. I’m so sorry.” His chest feels tight and he can hardly breathe. He looks up at Soap, “Can we make it to base?”

“I don’t know LT, she’s got a thready pulse and she’s burnin’ hot. I’ve got more stuff in the helicopter though, we should be ok. I just need to start an IV if I even can, she’s severely dehydrated and.. Shite, look a’her arms.”

Ghost nods at him and lets his eyes roam over your lifeless body. Forcing himself to look at you, blaming himself for each cut, each bruise, each burn, each rope mark. It’s his fault he didn’t get to you in time. It’s his fault he didn’t push Price harder on you staying back. He doesn’t deserve you, and he knew he would spend all the rest of this life and all of his next making it up to you. He’s done. He had already thought about retiring over the last 6 months but his mind was made up. No more. No more of this. If you made it through, he would file the paperwork as soon as Graves was dead. He needed to stay long enough to make him pay personally for this. 

____________________

You distantly hear Simon’s voice in your mind and try unsuccessfully to open your eyes. You feel yourself be lifted up and it hurts but you can’t force yourself to move. You’re locked in your own mind. Exhaustion has settled deep into your bones and your head feels like it’s splitting open. You’re freezing but you don’t even have the energy to shiver. Your body won’t cooperate at all. You hear more talking but can’t make out what anyone is saying. Someone is touching your face and you try to lean into it, desperate to make your body work. You let out a groan as you feel something pinch your arm. No! No more please no more, you wait for the intense pain that has followed that feeling for the last few weeks but it doesn’t come. You pass back out, barely hearing someone gently shushing you in the far recesses of your mind.

As you slowly regain consciousness, the sterile smell of antiseptics and the soft hum of medical equipment fill the air. Your body aches, and your head feels heavy. When you finally manage to open your eyes, the harsh brightness of the room makes you squint. You become aware of the rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor next to your bed. Tubes and wires are connected to your body, and you can feel the tightness of bandages around your wounds. With great effort, you lift your head to look around the room and see Simon asleep on the chair by the foot of your bed. You did it. You’re home. Tears well up in your eyes as you watch him sitting there. The relief and rush of emotions wash over you as you take in the sight of him, safe and unharmed. It’s a stark contrast to the last image of him you’ve been seeing in your head for weeks. 

You clear your throat, “Simon.. Si.” you call out.

When he stirs, he locks eyes with you for a brief moment before he jumps up and comes over to you, kneeling down and taking your face in between his hands. His eyes fill with tears as he takes in the sight of you. He cups your face gently, his hands feel cool against your feverish skin and his voice is thick with emotion as he speaks.

“I’m so sorry, love. I’m so sorry. I tried to grab you, God I’m so sorry.” His voice quivers with relief. He grabs your hands, gathering them up between his and resting his head on them like a silent prayer. “God I’ve been so worried, Kas.”

The room seems to brighten even more with the warmth of his presence, and you can feel the weight of the past weeks slowly lifting off your shoulders. You take one of your hands from him and reach out to touch his face, your fingers trembling from weakness. “I missed you. God I missed you, you have no idea. The things they did..”

“It’s my fault. This shouldn’t have happ-” he starts.

“No, no, shhh no it’s not.” You cut him off, cupping his face in your palm and he leans into it, closing his eyes. You both sit there like that for a while, just being close to each other and savoring it. All the unspoken emotions, questions, and even the grief can wait. In the quiet of the hospital room, the two of you find solace in each other’s presence, the relief of being reunited is enough.

Finally after a long while you break the silence. “How long have I been here?” you ask.

“Not long, Soap was able to start an IV on the way here, they just added antibiotics when we got you here. You’ve got a massive infection, love. I don’t know how you made it out of there in your state, but God I'm glad you did.” he says.

You look down at your hands in his, “I don't know.” you whisper. “It’s all a blur now. There was a doctor there, but I don’t know if he was actually a doctor. He kept injecting me.. With this stuff, I don’t know what it was, but it almost made me lose my mind. The pain.. God the pain. Unlike anything I could ever imagine…” you start to cry and Simon reaches up to wipe the tears from your face. 

“Is that what all these are from?" He asks, turning your hand over to face your forearm up and you nod. "Is he still alive? The doctor?” he asks.

“Yes, he wasn’t there I don’t think. Not when I got out.” you answer.

“Good, I wanted to kill Kenny but he will do. Him and Graves both.” he promises. You scoot over a bit and pat the bed beside you, motioning for him to climb in with you. "Love, I'll squish you, I can't fit there." 

"You can." you grunt and move over more. "Please?" 

"Your nurse is going to yell at me again." He says as he sighs and climbs in. He's trying to balance himself on the very edge and nearly falls out. If you weren't in so much pain, you'd giggle.

"Why are you so fucking big? Just get in here." You tell him. He finally gets settled and you curl into his chest. He keeps talking to you but you fall back asleep. Eventually, Simon falls asleep too, his body close to yours, one arm protectively around you. The steady beeping of the heart monitor and the muted hospital sounds serve as a comforting backdrop. Despite the pain and memories that still linger, it’s the first time in a long while that you can both truly rest. 

Chapter Text

The next morning, you wake up to the soft sounds of the hospital room. Your body aches less than before, and the throbbing in your head has subsided somewhat. You turn your head slightly and see Simon still asleep, and you still can’t believe that you're home. As you lay there and contemplate how to move without disturbing him, the door to your room opens, and Price steps inside. His face is a mix of relief and sadness as he looks at you. He approaches your bed and gently clears his throat. 

“Good to see you awake, dear.” he whispers, “How are you feeling?” 

You find your voice and answer, “Never been better Cap.”

He looks over at Simon, who is still snoring lightly next to you and his eyes twinkle with a grin. “Poor chap's been a right mess with you gone. We all have.” he gently pulls a chair close to the side of the bed that Simon isn’t taking up. “I do need to ask a few things. I’m sorry, love, but I have to know what happened.”

You take a deep breath, trying to find the words to explain the ordeal you went through. “It was Graves, Kenny was working for him, which we knew. Kenny had me in the basement of some huge house out in the middle of nowhere. He wanted information on the team. Location, et cetera. They kept asking questions, and when I wouldn’t talk… They tortured me. There was a doctor, or at least someone they called a doctor. He injected me with something that felt like I was burning from the inside out. I’ve never felt anything like it before. Dr. Carter, he called him.”

Price listens attentively, his jaw tensing as he hears about the events. “He didn’t say anything about their plans did he?”

You nod weakly, “He mentioned some larger operation, something big, but he didn’t give details. And he kept mentioning Shepard. It was all cryptic, I couldn’t make much sense of it.”

Price nods and makes a mental note of it. It’s not anything they didn’t assume before but having confirmation that Shepard is involved leaves a sour taste in his mouth. “I’m sorry, Kas. This shouldn’t have happened. It was a fucked mission from the start. I knew something was off when we only saw a handful of people there and we should've pulled back. Simon blames himself but this is on me.”

“It’s done. Kenny is dead, I’m home. There’s no use blaming anyone.” you whisper.

“Speaking of, how did you get out?” He asks.

You launch into the details, describing how you finally were able to break the chair, kill a guard, and shoot Kenny before running out the door. Price looks at you like an adoring father and it causes you to break down several times during your story. “Amazing, Kas, that’s one for the books huh? I’m so proud of you.” he says when you finish.

Simon stirs in his sleep, grabbing you tighter and mumbling something. Price smirks at you. “Alright, I’ll leave you be, the nurse should be by soon. Get some rest lass.” he stands up and stretches, taking a last glance over the both of you in your hospital bed, and leaves. After a while, a nurse comes in.

“Tsk,” she makes an annoyed sound with her tongue, “I told him to leave you be, let you rest.” You smile at her apologetically as Simon wakes up. “Come on, out, out, I need to speak with her.” she shoos him off the bed. 

“I’m going to go eat, love, I’ll be back,” he says and plants a quick kiss on your forehead.

Once he’s gone, the nurse approaches you and takes a look at a few of your bandages. She starts changing the ones that need it, putting fresh gauze on, and takes your temperature. “Your fever broke honey, I bet you feel a lot better. I do have to ask though.. The man that did this…?”

“He’s dead.” you quickly reply. The nurse nods.

“I know your Captain Price enough to know that with his team, everything is classified, but I just want to make sure you’re ok.” she says with a look of concern etched onto her face. “You’ve been through it, it looks like, and not for the first time. Are those.. Cigarette burns?”

You glance down at your arms and nod. The nurse sits down on the edge of your bed and sighs. “You’re one tough cookie, I’ll give you that.” She pats your thigh.

“I’ve been through worse,” You reply with a faint smile, trying to downplay your injuries, it makes you uncomfortable to be fussed over. “Thank you for everything.”

The nurse smiles warmly at you, her eyes filled with empathy, “It’s my pleasure, you just focus on getting better. If you ever need to talk or if there’s anything you need, don't hesitate to ask.” With that, she continues to tend to your wounds, ensuring you’re as comfortable as possible.

You let the kind nurse finish her work and ask her if she can bring you some breakfast. You haven’t had a proper meal outside a bit of chicken broth since you were taken. Your stomach is waking up finally and cramping from hunger pangs. Shortly after she leaves, with the promise to bring you back some food, Simon returns to your room. He looks like he’s had a shower and is dressed in a black t-shirt you got him last month, some sweatpants, and his usual balaclava. 

“Hey, love,” he says with a smile you can see touches his eyes, his voice filled with affection you so missed. “How are you feeling?”

You return his smile, “Better, and I’m starving. They’re bringing me breakfast.” you quickly add because he starts to head back to the door.

“Are you sure? I can go hurry them up.” he says

“I’m sure, just leave them alone Simon. It’s fine.” you sigh.

“I’ve missed you so much, Kas. It’s been hell without you,” he says, coming over to your bed and sitting on the edge. “You’re not bright red anymore, your fever must be better.”

“Nurse said it finally broke, thank God.” You reach out and squeeze his hand.

“Oh, by the way, when you were…gone.. The realtor called and they accepted our offer. I signed what I could but if you still want that house there’s about five thousand signatures they need from you.” he says, not meeting your eyes.

“Really? Oh my God Simon I almost forgot all about that! That’s amazing!!” you exclaim. “Thank you for handling all of this. Moving into that house with you is like a dream come true babe.”

“You still want to? You’re not upset with me?” he asks, still looking down at your hand in his. You reach out and gently lift his chin with your hand to make him look into your eyes. With a soft smile, you reassure him, “Simon, I’ve never wanted anything more. I’m not upset with you. None of this was your fault. We’ve both been through so much, but we’re together now, and that’s all that matters. I love you, and I can’t wait to do this with you.”

He leans into your hand and puts his behind it, closing his eyes. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you, Kas.”

“No. I don’t believe that. Can I tell you something?” you say and he sighs but nods. “When I was in that basement. You were the only thing I saw when I closed my eyes. YOU got me through it all. Our first date, all the times at hanging out with everyone and you’d always keep an eye on me, all the nights in bed with you, watching you mess around with the guys, seeing you come out of your shell, even our fights, even the big one right before. All of it Simon. You kept me going. I’ve seen you grow into such an amazing man, a protector. You’re kind. You’re funny. Drop dead fucking sexy to boot. Don’t you dare question if I want this.”

Simon is overwhelmed by the love and understanding in your gaze as he listens to your heartfelt words. They touch his heart deeply, and he realizes how much he means to you. “I love you, Kas,” he murmurs, his voice filled with emotion. “I’ll do everything I can to make sure we have the life we deserve, the one you deserve.” He leans down and kisses your forehead.

_________________________

Holly came in to visit you early the next morning and she was a total wreck still. “Don’t you ever fucking leave us again Kas, I mean it. You’re like a sister to me, I don’t even like Keegan as much as you.” she sobbed while curled up into your bed. She had tried to give you and Simon some time alone but couldn’t stand not seeing you any longer. 

You hug her while she catches you up on everything. You knew Simon had struggled but from what she said, it was even worse than you had thought. The rest of the guys too. That was more of a shock. “Oh, OH, Ghostie told you about the house right?? Oh my GOD I’m so excited!!”

“He did! We move in a week I think? Everything is blurry. I’m so ready. I can’t wait to get out of here and back in my own bed. Actually, scratch that, I need a shower so fucking bad and I have to wait for the nurse.” you roll your eyes. You’ve been chomping at the bit for one and it made the most sense to wait for your next bandage change. “Speaking of, can you bring me some of my good shampoo? And a beanie, if I can’t cover these fucking chunks of my scalp up, I”m going to cut someone.”

“You got it, I’ll grab some shorts and stuff too.” Holly hugs you again one more time and you try to not wince when she does. You’re still tender but you don’t want to make her feel bad. She leaves and comes back later with the nurse. “Alright bitch, let's goooo, get your stank ass washed up.”

The nurse laughs with you and starts to take off all your bandages. Holly does her best to keep her composure and you see her trying to hold it together. She quickly wipes a tear away and goes to start the shower for you. You get out of bed and you’re steadier on your feet than you felt you would be. Luckily your muscles have had a chance to figure out how to work again after being frozen in one position for so long. Holly waits in the bathroom for you making sure the water is right and setting up all your stuff in there, ready to use. She finally turns around and you see she’s been crying. “I’m sorry, Kas. It’s just so much, ya know? Do you want some help?” 

You turn, catching sight of yourself in the mirror above the sink. Holly’s not wrong, you’re barely even skin colored anymore. Large patches of all colors are on your face, the darkest ones in the shape of fingers on both sides of your jaw. Under the glare of the fluorescent light, it only makes it look worse. You nod, and she helps you out of your gown and into the shower. The jets of water sting and you suck air sharply through your clenched teeth. Holly sits on the other side of the curtain, ready to help, “You ok? Too hot?”

“No, just stings,” you answer as you try to shampoo your hair quickly, avoiding the raw patches of scalp. She hands you a washcloth and you gently run it everywhere down your body. You take care to be gentle around what stitches you have in various places and just let the water wash over it all. You look down and see blood mixing with the water, Mostly older dried specks, floating around on the surface. You grimace and shut the water off and Holly hands you a towel.

“Come on let's blow dry, you don’t need wet hair.” She helps you dry off and get dressed. You notice she grabbed you one of Simon’s shirts and it makes you tear up. You hug her as she pulls it over you, “Thank you, I needed that.” She nods and smiles at you as you tuck your nose into your shoulder and smell it. She gets you to the bed and while the nurse rebandages you she gently brushes your hair out and helps you blow dry, using the lowest heat setting, knowing you’re sensitive. She finishes up as Simon walks in and when she’s done you hug her again, “Anytime babe. You text me if you need anything. And YOU, Ghostie, you’re a lucky man I hope you know that.” She wiggles her eyebrows at him and walks out. 

“I see you’re already back to stealing my shirts again, love. Less than a day huh?” He asks you.

“They look better on me anyway.” you roll your eyes and he laughs, sitting down in the chair by your bed. “Nurse said I can leave tomorrow once I finish up the last of these antibiotics in my IV bag. Then they can just give me pills.”

“That’s good news, everyone is asking to see you.” he says. He pulls a laptop out of the backpack he brought and opens it up. “You ready for all this?” he asks.

“Hell yeah, hand it over,” you tell him. You spend the next few hours going over paperwork for the house and signing things. Double-checking bank accounts and making sure everything is in order. The house is significantly cheaper than the one you had in Colorado so you’re paying cash for it. Simon has a small apartment in Manchester that he rents out so between that and everything he makes in the task force, you can split it and use what’s left over for furnishings. As you finish up, you stretch and lay against the back of your bed that he had raised for you. “That’s that then huh?”

“Sure is. I’ll get the rest of it taken care of later. I need to actually go finish up some reports and talk to Price for a while, you going to be ok until later?” he asks while packing up the laptop. 

“Sure babe, I’m fine. Go do what you need to, I’ll be here when you’re done.” You answer, you know he’s been struggling leaving you out of his sight since you got back. You don’t like it either, you were only gone a few weeks but the roots of that deep hopelessness are yet to be dug out.

Simon nods, leans over to kiss you, and then stands up. “Alright, I won't be too long. If you need anything just call me and I’ll come right back,” he says.

As he leaves the room, you settle back into bed exhausted from the last few hours. It’s been an emotional, busy day but you welcome it. You sigh and finally pick up your phone that Simon brought to you last night. You haven’t turned it on yet, it’s been off since before you left on the mission. You turn it on and after a minute, you’re greeted with a flurry of notifications. Once it stops after several minutes of catching up, you take a deep breath and unlock it unsure of where to start first. There so many messages it makes your head spin. As you sit there and read through them all and listen to all the voicemails, you can’t help but to cry. It’s so overwhelming, sure you knew you had a good relationship with everyone on the team but to see and hear all of what they had said when you were gone makes your chest tight with emotion. You curl up on your side and lay there for a long while, you need to go see everyone else when you get out of here, you haven’t seen Soap, Gaz, or Keegan. You swallow hard, trying to rid yourself of the lump in your throat, and close your eyes. Eventually, you fall asleep, not waking when Simon comes back in and tucks your blanket around your shoulder. 

Chapter Text

10:19 AM

Kas: Where are you?? 

Dial: My room.

Kas: OMW

You’ve been out of the hospital for two days now and you still haven’t seen Soap. In fact, it’s almost like he’s been avoiding you and it’s freaking you out. You’ve asked Simon a few times about it but he doesn’t say much. If it wasn’t for the texts you had read that he had sent you when you were missing, you’d assume he just didn’t care at all. You finally get frustrated enough to go hunt him down and clear the air. So here, you are, knocking at his door and yelling his name. “OPEN UP BODYWASH!” 

He finally does, backing away from the door and throwing himself on his bed. From the looks of it, that’s where he’s been most of the day. You close the door behind you and take a long look around, you’d never actually been in anyone's room but Simon’s, and Holly’s when she was here. He has a huge bookshelf on one wall with rows and rows of books. “Oh wow, I didn’t know you knew how to read.” you joke, taking a seat at his desk and spinning around to face the bed.

He looks over at you and rolls his eyes but you can see the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile briefly. “Man o’many talents, bonnie.”

“Alright, that's enough of the shit, what’s going on? I’ve been back for four days, Soap, FOUR. And you don’t even come to see me. You won't even hardly look at me now. Did I do something? Or make you upset? I can't do this tension with you.” you say to him, scooting the chair closer.

He doesn’t say anything for a minute, he just lays there and stares at his ceiling. You almost start talking again but you can see him processing whatever he wants to say. He starts to and stops several times before finally “No. I’m no upset w’you. It's just when we got to you and I was working on you in that car, I wasn't sure you'd make it. I'm ashamed of m'self, Bonnie. That should no have happened. None of it. I had to drag Ghost away from you, back there at the house. I thought for sure y'were dead. I took it out of everyone too. Just sheer violence. And that’s no’me.” He says, his Scottish accent thick with emotion. “You were so broken when we got you here, I thought we’d lose you again. I know, I know that you’re wi’Ghost. But I care for you too. And it’s no a nice place to be. Tha’s all. I needed some space, and that’s no fault of yours. M’sorry Bonnie.” he finally looks over at you. “I’m glad you’re back. And m’sorry I didn’t answer when y’called. I just couldn’a face you. I wasn’a there for you twice. We didn’t even find you. You had to do all tha on your own.”

“Johnny..” you start, taking a deep breath, “I don’t even know what to say..” You sit there and look at him. You knew he cared about you but in the last six months, you thought it was just surface-level, teammate stuff. Looking back you can maybe see the signs you missed. “I’m sorry. I am. If I ever.. Gave you any mixed signals or anyth-”

“No, bonnie, y’didn’t. I knew from the start where your heart was. It’s ok, really. I’ll be ok, it just hit me really hard. Even I thought all of those feelings were gone. But after the way I’ve acted th’last few days, I just needed to tell you. Y’deserve to know why. And God don’t tell Ghost. He’ll have m’head on a spike. I brought it up once, after you got here last year. I thought he’d kill me then and you were’na even together. Shite.” he laughs and sits up.

“You’re probably right, he would.” you laugh with him. “Thank you, Soap. For saving my life. And that’s the only time I’ll say that so don’t get a big head. Come on, get your big ass up and quit hiding in here. It’s dull as hell without you, Holly is still being weird and quiet, and Keegan is too. Gaz has been on leave so I can’t even mess with him. And Ghost has been busy getting ready to move into the house and won’t let me help.”

He nods to himself and sighs. “Alright fine, I’m done. Want to watch me beat up some recruits? Alice and Sarah will be there, and I bet they’re dying to see you.” he jokes.

“Oh, I’ve heard allll about them from when I was gone. If I wouldn’t rip my stitches, I’d help you ‘teach’ them.” you say as you stand up, offering a hand out to him. You give him a quick hug, “Just don’t be weird anymore, you’re worse than a girl,  bodywash.”

“Hey now bonnie, that’s enough of that. I’m a manly man.” he laughs.

“Of course you are.” you say with a serious nod and a wink. “I’ll see you in a bit.”  You leave his room, feeling a little better about the whole thing but you do feel guilty. You love Simon, but it sucks knowing you’re the reason for someone feeling like Soap does. 

You swing through the dining hall to grab some food on the way to the training room and see Keegan. He’s got his back to you so you sneak up behind him and kick behind one of his knees so he almost falls. “Jesus, kid, don’t sneak up on me like that. Give me a fucking heart attack why don’t you. What are you even doing?”

“Getting some food dumbass. Why else would I be here?” you say, grabbing a tray and sliding along the line next to him.

“I think I liked you more before you were kidnapped, you’re mean as hell again. We had come so far, too.” he says with a laugh.

“Nah, I’ve always been mean, what are you even talking about? You got soft on me.” you say.

He throws you a massive side-eye, “That’s sure not how I remember it.”

“Shut. Up. God what is wrong with you.” you punch him in his arm.

“My therapist says, a lot. There’s a lot wrong. You finally find Soap?” he asks.

“I did, I feel better. He was just upset at everything. I feel bad.” you say.

“Yeah, you feel bad for getting taken hostage and beaten for weeks. Sounds like you also have a lot wrong with you.” he laughs. “I’m just glad you’re back, Holly was a fucking mess. And I’m glad you killed that asshole, what was his problem?”

“I don’t know, but killing him felt good if I’m being honest. My only regret is that I didn’t get it draw it out longer. You have no idea how bad I wanted to. Him and that doctor. When I find him… Oh man. I might have to make our spare room into a nice little getaway for him. See if he likes it.” you say with a grimace.

“When you do, charge admission. I’ll buy a few tickets, everyone will. In fact, get a DJ, and make it a party. Gotta run, kid. See you tonight?"

"Yeah we'll be there, see ya." You start to walk off, “Wait, this isn’t some thing is it? Tonight? I haven’t seen Ghost or Holly all day.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kas.” he says walking off and not turning around. He does flip you off over his head though. Asshole.

“Yep fuck you too buddy.” you call out to his back. You can just tell something is going on. You start to head out and your phone rings, it’s Soap. You ignore it, because you’re not done being petty. You’ve been not answering Simon’s calls either and you can tell he doesn’t dare say anything about it, he knows what’s coming. You make your way to the training room like you promised Soap.

“There you are, I tried calling you.” he says as you walk in. 

“Frustrating huh? When you need something. And you call someone. And they don’t answer. Wild.” you say.

“Oh fucking hell, lass. Tha’s a low blow, even for you.” he says, his face dropping. “I said I was sorry.”

“I know, It’s just too good to not use. I’ll ride this one out for months. Years even. Ten years from now I’ll be like hey bodywash, remember that time I was taken hostage and brutally beaten for weeks and then broke out all by myself and called and you didn’t answer? Because I do.” you laugh, taking a seat on a weight bench. 

“Jesus, Kas. I don’t blame you but also, that’s vile,” he says, sitting across from you and shaking his head. “Where’s Ghost at today by the way, I haven’t seen him.”

“Not sure actually, he said he had some things to do this morning and I haven’t heard since.” you say taking a bite of a sandwich. “I think he’s planning something. He’s slick but not that slick. I haven’t heard from Holly either and she usually texts me all the time. 

“Weird. Ouch, fuck don’t hit me. I know nothing.” he holds his hands up.

“The fact that you say you know nothing, tells me there's something to even know. So, as a good-hearted yet revenge-thirsty woman, I have a proposition for you.” You lean in closer to Soap, a wicked glint in your eye.

“Oh? And what’s that?” Soap asks, raising an eyebrow.

“You tell me what’s going on, or I'll start spreading rumors around the base about how you secretly adore watching romantic comedies in your free time.” you threaten with a devious grin.

Soap chuckles at your threat. “You’re a psychopath, lass.”

“At least I’m on a path, dial, sort your life out,” you challenge.

He squints at you a bit and sighs, realizing you’re not giving up. “Well then, m ake sure you tell them all The Notebook is my favorite.”

“You suck,” you say, getting up to throw away the box you had your food in.

Soap grins, “Just hang out, I’m about to start this class. Come on.” 

You sigh and follow him over to the other part of the training room, taking note of the awkward glances from both Alice and Sarah. It reminds you you need to make a decision on which one is joining the team. If it was up to you, neither, but it wasn’t. They were both good, and you’d need sniper support now that you’re out for even longer. Price has already made it clear that you’re benched for a while. Not that you mind, you have a ton of stuff to do with the house after tomorrow. You pull out your phone as Soap starts class and start looking up furniture. You and Simon had looked a bit the night before but you ended up falling asleep before you could really get into it. Since you’ve been back, as soon as you lie in bed with him, you’ve just been out cold. 

You glance up occasionally to watch the class. Soap has very obviously scared the group of recruits with his antics from before you came back. They’re all skittish and watch over their shoulders for him as he walks through the pairs that are sparring. You feel a fresh twinge of guilt. Hopefully, things settle down, for everyone's sake. There’s not much you can do at this point but move forward. You keep looking at your phone, trying to pick out a bed, fully appreciating the ability to even be able to do this right now. You sit there and try to not get emotional. Normally you’re a pretty stoic person unless you’re drunk, but you don't like showing anyone anything other than humor. It’s a huge coping mechanism you always fall back on. But since you’ve been back, it’s been harder to get a handle on your feelings. Sometimes just crying suddenly, or having a panic attack, your chest tightening and wanting to flee. You start seeing a therapist again next week though and you know it’ll help but you’re not excited. At all. If you want to go back to work though, it’s a requirement to get cleared by psych. 

You spend the rest of the day hanging out with Soap, watching him teach a few classes. You text Holly asking what to bring tonight and she finally answers with a “nothing, just yourself” and you roll your eyes. Honestly, you just want things to go back to normal and the fact that everyone is being weird makes you anxious. Alongside humor, your second favorite coping mechanism is compartmentalization. Just put whatever it is in a box and shove it into the corner of your mind and let's all pretend nothing happened. It’s served you well you’re entire life, that is until you found friends, well family really at this point, that never let you do that. You sigh and get up, stretching your legs, wincing a bit at the one with the larger gash still stitched up. “Alright dial, It’s been fun, I’m out,” you say as he walks up to you, finally done for the day. 

“Wait what time is it?" He asks

"Umm it's 1830?" You answer, checking your phone. 

"Shite come on, let's go, I lost track of time." He motions you to follow him and instead of heading further into the building he leads you out front where Simon is waiting for you.

“Well well well, what do we have here huh?” you grin at him. “I haven’t heard from you all day.”

“I’m a busy man, love” he plants a gentle kiss on the top of your head. You wave goodbye at Soap as Simon leads you to his car, letting you in. “How’s your day been? I see you finally wrangled Johnny back into good graces.”

“Yeah we talked, I think everything is fine now. Where are we going? I have to get ready for tonight. No chance I’m wearing this uniform all night, it rubs my leg wrong.” you say.

“Patience, darling, you’ll see.” he says with a glance over at you. His eyes crinkling under his mask. You grab his hand and huff. “Oh no, no pouting. Just let me show you something. You’re going to love it.”

“Is it food? Because I’m starving. Oooor, a dog? Oh, oh! I know, it’s  - “

“Stop.” Simon interrupts you laughing and kissing your hand. “Just sit there and be quiet.”

As he drives, you can’t help but to smile. You settle in, following directions and staying quiet. Simons seems really excited about something and it’s so cute to look over and just see him fidgeting around. Every time your eyes meet he melts you with the sweetest look. This is it you think I’m so damn lucky.

Chapter Text

Simon had made you cover your eyes the last ten minutes of the car ride and you wanted to peek so bad. You didn’t dare though, you were thoroughly enjoying this. When you had parked, he had gotten out and came around to your side of the car, grabbing your hand and helping you out. He replaced your hands with one of his and walked you a few feet before stopping to open a door. He took his hand away and you were standing in the entryway of the house you bought. Your things from storage are all set up and there are even your favorite pictures from your childhood in a collage on the wall. A vase of fresh flowers sits on a new entry table you don’t recognize.

“Are. You. Kidding. Me?? Babe!!” you say as you walk into your new house. “How did you do this??”

“As soon as you signed everything I just made some phone calls, love. John helped get all your old stuff out of storage today too. I know it’s not exactly what we talked abou-” he says.

“No, no oh my God it’s perfect!! It’s really ours! I’m going to cry!” you interrupt him, jumping up and down and hugging him. It looks like he had spent the whole day moving your things in and from the looks of it, putting in a super sophisticated security system. “Is some of this new?? How?? Oh, Simon, I love it! I love you! And the flowers, holy crap babe.”

He pulls his mask off and smiles at you then looks at his feet. “It’s the least I could do, after everything you know. You’ve been through too much to have to mess with all this. Holly grabbed your clothes and all that from your room today too. Everything is here.” he says, and you notice he’s blushing.

“Simon, are you..? Oh my God you are, you’re blushing! Oh, you are so cute, I love it. I really really do, thank you so much.” You throw your arms around his shoulders and give him a long lingering kiss. He grabs your waist and lifts you up, carrying you into the kitchen and setting you down on the island, never breaking the kiss. He cradles your face tenderly between his rough hands, kissing you so softly you think your heart might burst.

“Hmm..” Simon says, breaking the kiss and leaning back. “This counter is the perfect height,” he purrs with a devilish grin, running his hands gently around the back of your neck, tilting your head up to his. He leans in and kisses your neck, sending sparks through your body and you throw your head back with a sigh, giving him better access.

“Simon, I love you so much, this is all so perfect..” you murmur. “Wait what about Holly’s tonight?” you ask.

“They’re coming here for dinner in… one hour. I ordered pizza. But I think.. I’d like to have my dessert now.” he says, nibbling on your earlobe and sending shivers down your spine. He leans back and starts undoing the buttons of your jacket, and slipping it off your arms, letting it fall behind you on the island. He takes a small step back and starts unlacing one of your boots and a lazy pace, his eyes burning into yours.

“You’ll ruin your dinner..” you say with a smile.

“Fuck the dinner, love. It’s been too long.” he pulls off your boot and sock, planting a kiss on the top of your foot with a groan. He quickly gets your other boot off and kisses your other foot with such a tenderness, it makes you blush. He takes a step forward, in between your legs and you reach a hand out to his face. He turns his head, kissing your palm gently. “You tell me if it’s too much, love, I know you’re still hurt.”

“I trust you, Simon, you won't hurt me.” you reach forward and grab his shirt, bringing him in for a deep kiss that has you melting into him. He runs his hands around your waist, bringing them to your belt and he makes quick work of it, yanking it off and throwing it on the ground. He unbuttons your pants and you put your hands back on the marble top of the island, lifting your ass. He hooks his hands on the top of them and pulls them down, taking your panties with them. The marble feels freezing on your bare skin and you giggle. He reaches up and pulls your shirt over your head, and he takes a small step back again, staring at you.

“Fuck, Kas, I shouldn’t.” he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“It looks worse than it feels, I promise. It’s ok. Please, I need this. I need you.” you pant. You reach out for him and he stands there for a second, trying to get a handle on any semblance of self-control he might have left, and luckily for you, he can’t find a shred.

He steps towards you and grabs your knees, pulling your legs further apart and you lay back on the island, your jacket behind you shielding you from most of the chilly countertop. He lifts you up and pulls you forward a bit, so that you’re just hovering over the edge of the counter, and Simon drops to his knees. He plants a row of kisses on each of your inner thighs, teasing you and taking his time. You writhe with anticipation as he works closer to your throbbing center, his warm breath making you moan. Finally, his warm tongue makes contact with your aching nub and you cry out, tangling your fingers in his hair, holding him in place.

“You taste so fucking good,” Simon moans against your slick flesh, lapping you up eagerly. It’s Simon’s favorite place to be truthfully. He doesn’t do this just as some obligation, he could do it all day, every day. He would eat you out like a starving man for the rest of his life if he could. Your taste on his tongue is the most decadent aphrodisiac.

Lost in your bliss, you press yourself into his face, throwing a leg around his shoulder and pulling him in closer, your other foot rests on his other shoulder. “Oh my God,” you pant, gripping the edge of the counter, your back arching up as he works you to the edge with his talented mouth. You start to grind shamelessly against his tongue, chasing your peak that you can feel building. When he slips in two fingers and spreads them out, it nearly makes you scream. He rotates them, curling up and pressing his palm into you and it throws you, hurtling over the edge into an orgasm. You convulse against his mouth, clamping your thighs tight around his head as waves of pleasure wrack your body. He looks up at you and smiles, “I’m not done with you yet, love, turn over.”

Your breath hitches and you scramble to flip over, your jacket falling over the edge of the counter and the marble is cold on your front, making you even more sensitive. You lay both your hands out flat on the top of it as he unzips his pants and runs himself through your slit, getting himself wet from the remnants of your orgasm. He leans back, taking in a good look at you, “Fuck Kas, you’re so god damn beautiful.”

You wiggle your ass invitingly and look over your shoulder at him, “Well? Are you just going to look or are you going to fuck me?” you tease, meeting his fiery gaze.

With a feral gleam in his eyes, he grasps your hip firmly with one hand before surging inside of you in one deep thrust. You push back to meet each thrust, your hands slipping on the countertop. “Don’t stop, I’m so close…” you whine, breathlessly.

Hearing this, Simon redoubles his efforts, snapping his hips with a punishing fervor and he growls through his gritted teeth. Reaching beneath to rub frenzied circles around your engorged clit, the added stimulation sends you flying over the edge again. With a guttural cry, you shatter around him, your walls clamping down on him tightly. Still, he pumps through your release, determined to wring every last ounce of ecstasy from your shuddering body. As the last waves ripple through you, he finds his own peak, spilling his warmth deep inside of you with a primal groan. He leans forward collapsing onto you, sated and spent, he plants kisses on your shoulders as he pants. His heartbeat is a soothing rhythm against your sweat-slicked back. “I love you y/n.” he whispers, resting his forehead on you for a few moments before finally pulling out and reaching down for his pants.

“I love you too, Simon” you say as you rest your cheek down on the cool countertop, still trying to find your senses. “I needed that. So bad.” you take a deep breath and push yourself up. You gather up your clothes and stand there staring at him. “I’m going to take a quick shower.” you give him a quick kiss on his cheek and head towards your bedroom, shaking your bare ass at him as you leave the kitchen.

You hurry and get showered knowing Holly and Keegan will be there soon. Hopefully, Simon wiped off the island you think as you smile to yourself. You rebandage your leg, covering your stitches, and slip into some leggings and a loose shirt. You stare at yourself in the mirror and take a minute to let the night's events sink in. This is such a nice place, our home. Ours. you think. You no longer frown at your reflection, not since you’ve been with Simon for the last 7 months. He’s worked so hard to erase every bad thing you think about yourself when you look into one. He’s kissed every scar, every imperfection, melting away the self-consciousness you used to hold onto so fiercely. His affirmations have made you proud of your body. It’s been through so much, so damn much, and yet here you are. In a new home, with the most amazing boyfriend and friends, life is perfect. You hear the doorbell and it brings you back from your thoughts. One last swipe of nude-colored lipstick and you bounce down the hall to get the door.

Chapter Text

Later on, you’re all sitting by the fire pit on your back patio. Not only had Keegan and Holly showed up, but Price, Soap, and even Gaz came over shortly after. Gaz was fresh back from the airport and had wrapped you up in a huge hug. You hadn’t seen him yet after being back and you spent a while catching up. Gaz had also taken everything hard, and like the others on your team, he had blamed himself. You know that they all will, no matter what you say to try and assuage their guilt. You had all crowded around the kitchen eating pizza, for a while before moving out back. Simon had got the fire pit going quickly, its warmth staving off the chilly fall breeze in the air. 

Price’s cigar smoke mingling with the burning wood is so soothing, that you nearly fall asleep in your seat curled up next to Holly. Your head rests on her shoulder as you listen to her bickering and laughing with Keegan about something he had said to her earlier in the day. Simon sits across from you and Holly, leaning onto one side of his seat talking animatedly with Soap and Gaz about some past mission. He glances at you, a soft smile on his face as he catches your eye, an unspoken message of love and relief. You can almost feel the genuine happiness radiating from him, knowing you’re safe, back with him, and surrounded by your friends.

“No no, LT you have the worst jokes, lad. I swear. Kas, Kas, y’know what this idiot did?” Soap loudly says, catching your attention. “I was hurt, trying to make m’way through a little shop, no gun, nothing. The place was crawling with Shadow Company assholes, and Ghost decides it was the perfect time for a joke. He says, ‘Two goldfish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, you know how to drive this thing?’ Why, WHY GHOST.”

Simon wipes a tear from his eye as he laughs, “Hey, I was just helping you out, breaking the tension.”

“That didna help LT, not the slightest.” Soap laughs, “I don’t know how you put up w’him Bonnie.”

“Oh hush it bodywash, we all know I have enough humor for the both of us anyway. Ghost can’t help it if he’s old and lame.” you laugh.

“Wounded. Absolute betrayal love.” Simon puts a hand on his chest and you see the telltale crinkles around his eyes letting you know he’s grinning. Soap is laughing beside him and he launches back into his retelling of their war stories. Keegan joins into their conversation and Holly leans into you, laughing. 

“I’m so glad you’re back Kas, I missed this. These kinds of nights are the best,” she says. “Although.. How the hell you aren’t busy fucking is beyond me. That’s all Keegs and I did for like a week after we moved.”

“Oh trust me, I remember.” you laugh, you thought she was sick of something, being gone from work for so long and not answering texts. It took the threat of barging over to her house to make sure she was okay to get an answer. “Don’t worry though, we already broke the kitchen in.” you look over at her wiggling your eyebrows. She elbows you.

“Yesss good for you. I bet he was feral too. Look, look at him. He can’t keep his eyes off you. Watch, he’s going to look in 3…2… ope yep.” she whispers and you both giggle, sparking a raised eyebrow from Simon and you just shake your head at him. She leans back in, “Told you. Come on, “ she stands up grabbing your hand, “I need another beer.”

Simon and Keegan watch you as you both leave, exchanging glances with each other that say they know you’re sneaking away for some girl talk. Once inside, she opens the fridge for another beer and hands you one too. “Thank you for all of this Holly, I appreciate you helping Ghost today,” you say.

“You’re welcome, and you owe me. My back is killing me,” she says as the both of you take a seat on the couch. “I love this house, it’s so gorgeous. I still can’t believe you guys were able to snag it.”

“I know, I’m still in shock. Everything happened so fast that I don’t think it’s even sunk in yet. Not only do I have a new home, but with Ghost? Ask me almost a year ago and I would’ve said that you’re crazy.” you smile and shake your head. “It doesn’t even feel real. I know we’ve talked about it before but, he’s just so good to me.” 

“I’m so jealous. Keegan is good to me too, but he’s not like that with me. Sometimes I don’t know if we are friends, or fuck buddies or he hates me. Not that he’s not romantic, sometimes he is, but it’s not like the way I see Ghost with you.” she says, taking a swig of beer. “Today was the first time I’ve really spent time with him alone, and the way he talks about you.. Ugh. He’s so protective. And not like in a weird way, but like in a reverent, you’re his everything way. Like he never had a choice and just totally accepts it.”

You nod, listening to her words, “He is like that. It blew my mind too. You should’ve seen him when I first got here, he was awful. Rude. Bossy. Mean. He would just stare at me. I hated him.” you laugh. “And now look.” you wave your hand around at the room. “He did all this for me. I’ve never had that before.”

“I heard him talk to Price today, by the way, you should know.” she looks around over your shoulder towards the back door. “They’re tracking down the doctor… Ghost even has Keegan on it I think. I heard him mention Merrick. I don’t know if he’s told you or not but they’re close.”

You sit and think for a few moments, it wasn’t something you knew. You had assumed at some point that yes of course he would be a target, but it’s been such a whirlwind since you’ve been back. You hadn’t realized everyone would be on it so soon. “No, he didn’t tell me. He hasn’t said much of anything about it all. I think he’s too angry at himself, at Graves, the whole thing. But, it doesn’t surprise me. It just makes me nervous. Graves is powerful.” you sigh. You know there’s nothing you can do to stop Simon. Not that you would dream of it, you wanted that fucker dead too. 

Holly nods in understanding. “I get it, Kas. You have every reason to be nervous, but you’ve got a whole team of people who care about you and are determined to make sure you’re safe.”

“You’re right, Holly, I trust them. They’ll do what needs to be done. It’s just a lot to take in.” Holly  reaches out and gives your hand a reassuring squeeze. “Alright, let's get back out there before they come looking for us.” Holly laughs and you make your way back outside. From the looks of it, the boys haven’t missed a beat with their war stories. You walk out and hear Gaz talking about another mission where he ended up hanging upside down from a helicopter. 

“It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t. Bout fucking died lads.” he says, trying to not laugh while everyone else is doubled over dying of laughter. “I still think about it every time I get on one. Christ. The trauma.” 

“I bet you had to change your shorts after that.” Keegan barely gets out through laughs.

“I had to change everything, mate.” Gaz answers back shaking his head and taking a long drink.

“Let's not forget the time Ghost piloted one.” Price says and everyone starts groaning.

“I thought we promised we wouldn’t ever bring that up again,” Simon says indignantly.

“Is that why everyone’s ass puckers up when you drive anywhere?” you say, walking over and sitting on his lap. You offer him a sip of your beer but he declines. He hasn’t drunk since you’ve been back. It’s unlike him but now isn’t the time to ask him why.

“You’re awfully cheeky tonight, love.” he says in your ear as he adjusts you on his lap and wraps an arm around you. You turn to smile at him, and lean in, planting a kiss on his forehead over his mask. He pulls you closer, his hands lingering on your thighs, and gives you a wink. You rest your head on his shoulder, content. 

A little while later, your eyes jerk open, you’d fallen asleep on Simon at some point. You wake up to everyone saying goodbye and yawn, blinking the sleep from your eyes. Simon helps you stand up and you both follow everyone to the front door, showing them out. With one last hug from Holly, you close the door and lean your back against it. Simon takes his mask off, tucking it into the back pocket of his jeans and letting it hang. “Come on, love. Let's get to bed yeah?” he says, grabbing your hand. You push off from the door as he leads you to your bedroom and you crawl right into bed. You get comfortable as Simon goes the the bathroom. You hear him brushing his teeth and soon he slides in next to you, wrapping you up and throwing one of his legs over yours. “I love you, y/n” he whispers into your ear. It doesn’t take long and you’re both asleep. 

________

The next morning you wake up a see that Simon isn’t in bed with you. It’s not uncommon, he doesn’t sleep as much and is always an early riser. You quickly brush your teeth and get dressed, silently thanking Holly again for getting all of your things here. The smell of coffee lures you out to the kitchen and you see Simon pouring you a travel mug of it, putting in some creamer the way you like. “Good morning babe.” you yawn and wrap him up in a hug. He turns around and gives you a quick kiss before grabbing his kettle and making his tea. 

“Mornin’, darling. How’s the leg?” he asks, motioning down at the one with stitches. He’s been incessantly asking since you left the hospital.

“It’s ok, doesn’t hurt much I just hate when the stitches pull every time I move. It feels gross,” you answer, taking a seat at the island with the bar. “Last night was nice, thank you.”

“It was, wasn’t it? I think we all needed that, to be honest. I think my favorite part was before everyone got here though.” He grins at you, touching your waist as he walks behind you and takes a seat. “What’s your plan today?”

“Well, I was going to move into our new house but…” you laugh, “I think I’m going to run into town and do a little shopping. Get some food and a few other things. What are you going to do now that all of this is done?”

“I was going to keep the day off, but I’m headed into work. There’s a few things I’d like to check on,” he says.

“Like the doctor?” you ask. You weren’t sure if he was keeping it from you but he hadn’t brought it up still. You take a sip of coffee and peek at him. He’s staring at you with his eyes narrowed. 

“Now how on earth did you know that, love?" he asks with a small chuckle.

“I’ll never reveal my sources, Si. Now spill, what’s going on?” you ask, turning towards him and resting an elbow on the counter. 

He clears his throat and readjusts, taking a minute to think. He swirls around his spoon, mixing his lemon into his tea before he sets it down with a clatter. “Paris. That’s where I’ve tracked him so far, with some help. We were able to get into CCTV and narrow down his apartment complex. The name they had given you was false, but with face recognition software, we found him. Dr. Gunther Sieg. Lost his license over a decade ago. Twice divorced, no children. Moved to France several years ago before falling off the map entirely. Or so it had looked like. Turns out, he’s been operating an illegal hospital. With the help of a local group, he brings people in, removes their organs, and then they’re sold the organs on the black market. He pockets a portion and the rest we are trying to track down. So far, we’ve been lost chasing crypto accounts. But it looks like after you escaped he returned there.” He sighs, running his hand through his hair. “I wasn’t trying to keep it from you, love, I just wanted to take care of it. I need to do this for you. For us.”

You sit there listening to him talk and your mind starts racing. “What a sick fuck, Simon, oh my God. I’m not upset with you.. I wish you would have said something.. But I understand.” You reach out and rub his thigh, “So what do we do now?” 

“That’s what I need to go talk to John about. We spoke a bit yesterday but not as much as we need to,” he says. “We need to figure out how he got involved with the Shadow Company." He stands up and finishes the last of his tea. Come on, you need a ride to your jeep on base and maybe we can have a late lunch together, yeah?" You spend the car ride going over in your head all the information Simon had shared. It doesn't surprise you but it does make you sick to your stomach to know what he's involved in. Kenny pissed you off, but the doctor is who scared you. His icy blue, soulless eyes were what you saw in the middle of the night. You take a deep breath and Simon rubs your leg. Hopefully, we can just get him off the board, and it sounds like he might be an easier target than Graves. 

Chapter Text

After dropping you off at your jeep, Simon heads towards Price’s office. He may have filled you in on what he knew, but he hadn’t said anything about his plan. He intended to go to Paris and handle the problem himself. He just needed to figure out how to do it without involving you. He wasn’t trying to hide it exactly. At least that's what he told himself, but he knew you would try and talk him out of it. Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission he thinks to himself at least on this.  

He reaches Price’s office and knocks a few times, not pausing, and opens the door. Price looks up at him from his desk, “Wasn’t expecting to you see today Simon.” he says.

Simon takes a seat. “We need to talk about the doctor.” he begins. “I’m going to take him out. With or without approval.”

“What kind of a talk is that LT?” Price asks, his eyes gleaming with silent laughter. “Fine. But you’re not going alon-”

“Yes, I am. I’m not bringing anyone else into this.” Simon interrupts him. He doesn’t want anyone else involved with what he plans on doing to the pathetic excuse of a man. It certainly wasn’t going to be by the book.

“You’ll take Keegan. I’ll talk to Merrick. Arrange leave for him. We can’t do this on the books, Simon. You know that.” Price sighs and leans back, taking a long drag of his cigar. “I shouldn’t let you. We should go through the proper channels. Laswell will have my head if my best operator is compromised on an unsanctioned mission…” he blows the cigar smoke out and takes off his bucket hat. “I should, but I won't.” he finally says. This is personal for him too. “What’s your plan, how can I help?”

Simon initially bristles at the idea of bringing Keegan, but it might actually be smart. Keegan isn’t one to balk at.. extreme measures.. “Holly is leaving next week for her parents in the States. I'm going to try to have Kas go with her. I don’t want her involved in this. I can’t have her anywhere near him and be able to think straight.” Simons says as Price nods at him in thought. “She’s on leave anyway, they’ll have fun together and she needs that.”

“You mean, YOU need that.” Price grins. “She’s going to kill you, you know. When she finds out. What will you do then after you break her trust?

Simon clenches his jaw at the thought of breaking your trust. He knows it’s a risk he’s taking, but he’s determined to handle this on his terms and protect you from any harm. “I’ll deal with the consequences when they come, but I can’t let her anywhere near that man. She’s been through enough,” he replies, his voice resolute.

Price stares at him, thinking for a while, “Alright, I’ll arrange things. You and Keegan will need to coordinate the logistics. Keep it off the books, and make sure you don’t draw any unnecessary attention. We can’t afford this coming back to us. Also, if you don’t come back, and Kas finds out I approved this, she will kill me. You do what you have to do, but be careful, SImon.”

Simon nods in acknowledgment, “Thank you, John. I’ll go talk to Keegan and keep you updated.” He gets up and leaves the office. How on earth he will convince you to go with Holly is running through his head. He stomps down the hallway and pulls out his phone to read a text from Keegan and ends up running straight into Alice. Great that’s just what he needed. He wasn’t in the mood for her. How she’s still here is beyond him, she might be an amazing sniper but she hasn’t stayed focused long enough during her other training to be useful. She starts following him down the hall. “Alice, he greets her brusquely, “I’m in a bit of a rush. What do you need?”

Alice matches his stride, undeterred by his obvious annoyance. “I heard you’re planning something big. Is it another mission?” she inquires, her curiosity piqued.

Simon gives her a guarded look, not willing to divulge any details. “It’s classified. Don’t worry about it.” he says, speeding up and walking away from her. She reluctantly takes the hint and watches him walk away from her but it’s clear on her face she isn’t done with the conversation. She’s still determined to prove herself and make her mark to get on the team. Even if it means pushing boundaries she knows she shouldn’t. 

Simon finally reaches the supply room Keegan said to meet him at. He slips inside and locks the door behind him. “I talked to Price,” Simon starts. “When Holly goes on leave next week, you and I are taking a little trip. Off the books.”

Keegan sighs and pulls his mask off. They’ve spent enough time together that he feels comfortable doing it, even if Simon hasn’t in all the times you’ve both been at his house. He leans up against some shelves, “Wouldn’t be to Paris would it?” he asks with a sly expression on his face.

Simon glances at Keegan and raises an eyebrow. He can’t help but smirk in response. “Possibly. I need Kas to go with Holly. I don’t care how you do it or what excuse you need to make but this needs to stay between us.” Simon tells him, his hand motioning between the two of them. “Just until we get back.”

Keegan lets out a low chuckle. “I thought as much. I’ll make sure everything’s in order. Just say the word when you’re ready.” He’s been itching to do something about the doctor too. He’s with Holly and he loves her, but he still cares about you, more than he would ever admit to anyone. 

“Also.” Simon sighs, “I need Holly’s help with something else. I have to go shopping and have no idea what I’m doing. I just want to make sure you’re good with it. It’s for Kas and no you may not say anything to her about it, lad, or I’ll bury you in a shallow grave with the doctor.”

Keegan grins at him, “Oh now you have to tell me what it is. Kas run out of tampons or something?”

Simon rolls his eyes and fiddles with something on a shelf. “No. I’m going to propose.. I almost lost her Keegan.” he says quietly. “I’ve thought about asking her for a while, I just always had some excuse as to why not to. Too busy, too much going on, Graves. But this past month has made me realize, I can’t waste another minute. Not when it comes to her.”

Keegan takes a second, staring at Simon. “Wow. Ok, you’re like serious huh? Good for you man. That’s… fuck that's a lot. You’re a lucky man you know. I didn’t know you had it in you, Ghost.”

“Me either. Funny how life works out innit?” Simon says back. “I’ll catch up with you later, I need to go look over that intel again.” He unlocks the door and leaves, heading to the comms room. He spends the rest of his morning there, pouring himself over everything he’s already triple-checked. If they leave next week, it needs to be perfect. There’s no room for mistake. 

_______________________________

“Hey, you should come with me, you know. You have the time off, we can make it a girl's trip!” Holly says to you. "Keegan brought it up, he thinks I need some 'girl time' whatever that means." It’s been a few days since you’ve moved into your house and she’s over there helping you shuffle things around in one of the spare bedrooms. You’re making it an office. 

You pause from arranging some books on the new shelf and look at Holly, a faint smile playing on your lips. “You know, that sounds like a fantastic idea. I’ll talk to Ghost about it tonight. He’s been so busy at work lately and so grumpy. He’s just not been himself. I don't know, maybe moving in was too much.. Some space would be good.”

“Nah, I don’t think that’s it. We both know he’s obsessed with you. It has to be something at work, Keegan has been really closed off the past few days too.” she says, chewing her lip. “Who knows? Maybe they all finally synced up and they’re on their periods.” she giggles.

“Now that actually makes sense.” you laugh, sitting down on the floor next to her and grabbing a slice of the pizza you had delivered a while ago. You joke but you can’t shake the feeling that something is going on. Simon has never acted this way and it makes you uncomfortable. Like the ground is shifting beneath or feet and you’re not sure where to step next. Sure, you guys have gotten into arguments before, you’ve yelled at each other, disagreed, and gotten annoyed. It's never anything serious, just normal relationship stuff. But this.. Distance.. It doesn’t sit right. You don’t know if you should push or let him figure it out on his own. The fixer in you wants to sit him down and make him talk, but you doubt it would do any good. You’ll just have to trust that whatever it is, he will talk when he’s ready. 

“I’ll talk to Price about it, but I’m sure it’ll be ok. The group Christmas party is after we would get back right?” you ask. The base holds one every year and you were looking forward to it. It’s been a long time since you’ve gotten dressed up in a gown and you had found yours several months ago. A beautiful backless sparkling green dress with a slit all the way up one side. Simon was going to lose his shit over it. 

“Yep, it’s the next day, and I totally plan on sleeping off the jet lag from the time I get back until it’s time to get ready for it.” she answers. 

“Oooo good call, that’s going to be rough. So you’re staying with your family? You sure they’ll be ok with me coming?” you ask.

“Oh yeah, they’ve always been worried I haven’t made any girlfriends. After we lost my younger sister a few years ago, it’s been tough. They’re going to love you, you’ll fit right in.” she says with a faint smile. “You’re going to have to watch out for my brother though, he’s awful. Do NOT take anything he says seriously. And, if - when - he hits on you, you have my permission to punch him.” 

You chuckle and shake your head, “I’ll remember you said that. It’ll be nice to meet your family and spend time with you. I can handle your brother.” You finish your slice of pizza and continue organizing your office. You call Price to talk to him about it and he gives you the go-ahead to go. The both of you spend the next few hours planning out what you want to do when you get there. 

_________________________

The next day, Simon stands by a storefront, his skull balaclava concealing most of his face, garnering a wide berth from passersby. He’s waiting for Holly to show up, she had suggested the jewelry store when he asked for her help the day before. He paces nervously, looking around at everyone, scanning for threats out of habit. Finally, he sees her car pull up and park. 

“Ghost! Oh my God, I’m so excited. Kas is going to lose her mind.” she says, coming up and giving him a quick hug. He’s finally learned to give one back, a least halfway. Physical touch isn’t his forte, not until you at least. 

“I hope you’re right about that,” he says, following Holly inside the store. The clerks there look up from what they’re doing and exchange looks across the room at each other. If he wasn’t following Holly, who was bouncing around in excitement, they probably would have kicked him out on the spot. His mask makes them all uneasy. Spending most of his time on base he had nearly forgotten how he’s perceived in a civilian setting. He clenches his fists repeatedly, another habit, it doesn’t do much to make any else feel at ease. He follows Holly to a case of rings.

“You’re lucky she and I have talked about this before, Ghostie, or else you’d be shit out of luck. She likes (your favorite) and she’s a (your size).” Holly says, scanning the rows of rings. Simon leans down, taking a closer look. The mask hides his emotions, but underneath it, he’s sweating. He wants to be perfect. After a few minutes, a little way down, he spots the perfect one. The center diamond is surrounded by a halo of smaller diamonds. It’s even in the right metal color. He has noticed the rest of your jewelry is all the same metal. He taps the glass case, and the clerk jumps a bit, nervous around him still although it’s clear he’s not a danger. "Here, this one. That’s it.” he says. 

“Oh Ghostie, she’s going to love that! I can’t believe you’re doing this. I’m so happy for you guys.” She says and the clerk pulls the ring out and lets Simon get a closer look.

He nods to her and finishes up buying it. “Thanks, Holly. I appreciate your help, but if you say ANYTHING to her at all-” he starts as they walk out of the store.

“I won't , I promise. There’s no way I’m going to spoil it for her. I’ll even make sure she gets her nails done.” She says with a wink.

“What’s that got to do with it?” Simon asks, looking down at her confused.

“For pictures you big idiot. Never mind, doesn’t matter, I’ll keep my mouth shut,” she says, stopping on the sidewalk. “Is this why you’ve been weird with her all week? She mentioned it yesterday.”

“She did, huh? Maybe, yeah. Just got a lot going on in my head Hol.” Simon answers as he gives her another one-armed hug and sees her off. He walks back to his car deep in thought, the ring box heavy in his hoodie pocket. This was only part of the reason he had been withdrawn, a very small part. He hated keeping secrets from you, and the upcoming trip with Keegan has him carrying a huge amount of guilt. It’s not a surprise to him that you had noticed, you’re always so in tune with him. He used to hate that about you but now it’s a comfort. He had never had anyone like you in his life before. Your ability to understand him, even when he doesn’t say much, is one of the things he cherishes about you. As he drives back home, he tries to clear his head and tell himself that everything is going to work out.

Chapter Text

Two days later, Holly and you have just finished a hop flight to the States. Luckily, the town she’s from has a military base and after a quick exchange in South Carolina, you make it to Kansas. You quickly text Simon that you made it and grab your things. The both of you head towards the gate, Holly’s brother is supposed to be picking you up. 

“Whew, ugh what a long flight. Both of them.” She says, stretching her legs out as you stand there and wait. “God, he’s always late.” she rolls her eyes, “You’d think the asshole could be on time after not seeing me for over a year.”

“Hey hold this, I’ve got to dig out my coat.” you hand her your phone, there are no pockets on your leggings. Finally, after some digging, you find it and shake it out. “Thanks. It’s so cold, what the heck? I forgot how cold it gets here.” You grew up about an hour away and being back here so close stirs up ancient memories from your childhood. You do your best to shake them away, not wanting to cry. Finally, a car pulls up, parks and the window rolls down. You see Holly’s brother smiling at the both of you.

“Welcome home brat! Get in, hurry up it’s cold,” he says. Holly rolls her eyes and mutters under her breath. You both throw your bags in the trunk and she takes the front seat while you slide into the back. “Holy shit Holly you didn’t say your friend was hot. Hi, I’m Jason,” he says, looking at you in the rearview mirror.

“She’s hot and she’s taken. By a big scary man in a skill mask. So shut up. You’re late by the way, dick.” Holly says, slapping him on his shoulder. 

“Hey, I just got off work, leave me alone. What’s your name?” he asks you.

“Everyone calls me Kasper,” you answer. You look at your phone.

Simon: I’m glad you made it. Be safe. Don’t do anything I wouldn't do.

Kasper: That pretty much leaves it open then. Love you.

“Kasper huh? That like a nickname or something?” he says, getting onto the highway.

“Callsign,” you say absentmindedly. “Picked it up a few years back. My actual name is y/n but honestly, I haven’t used it in so long, I probably wouldn’t respond to it.”

“So you two work together then?” he asks.

“Not technically, just for some missions,” Holly answers. “Her task force is legendary though, you remember when I told you about the 141?” He nods. “She’s with them.”

“Oh shit, so you’re like a badass or something.” he lets out a low whistle. “Smash.” he laughs as Holly reaches over and smacks him again. “Hey, hey! I’m driving! Ok fine, I’ll stop.”

You spend the next few hours getting to her parent’s house and getting settled in. Her brother hangs out for a bit talking with the both of you. He’s an aircraft mechanic and lives across town but is staying to eat dinner with everyone later. Holly’s parents are both still at work and you take the opportunity to go lay down and rest a bit, giving Holly some time to catch up with Jason. You can hear them outside of the room talking and laughing and you smile to yourself. You text Simon again even though it’s nearly midnight there and he probably won’t answer.

Kasper: I miss you. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to be so far from you again. 

Simon: I miss you too darling. I can’t sleep without you at home.

Kasper: At least you don’t have to fight for the covers lol

Simon: I’m on the couch, love. Pathetic, I’m aware.

Kasper: Go to sleep. Call me tomorrow?

Simon: Fine. Be safe. Love you.

You set your phone down and you can barely keep your eyes open. As you drift off to sleep in the cozy room, the sounds of Jason and Holly’s laughter outside soothe you. It’s not long before you’re in a peaceful slumber.

Later in the evening, you wake up to the inviting aroma of dinner wafting through the house. You get up and make your way to the kitchen, where Holly and her parents are setting the table. Everyone greets you warmly, and you start to feel more at ease. Dinner is a delicious home-cooked meal, and you can’t help but appreciate the warmth and hospitality of Holly

S family.

After dinner, you all spend the evening chatting and catching up. “Kasper, dear, I have to ask. I apologize if I’m rude but where on earth did you get those scars sweetie?” Holly’s mom asks. 

Usually, the question makes you extremely uncomfortable but Holly’s mom is the sweetest human you’ve ever met. “A few years ago now, I was on the bad end of a molotov. Lost my entire team that day. Nearly died myself.” you say and she reaches over to pat your knee.

“Oh I’m so sorry. That’s absolutely tragic.” her eyes welling up with tears she quickly blinks back. “So you’re with a new one now?”

“Yeah, Captain Price came and found me. Kind of a long story. But now I’m with them and they’re like family. It’s been amazing really. And then Holly came along and she’s such an amazing woman. I’m lucky to have her.” you say.

Holly’s mother gives you a kind smile, her empathy clear in her eyes. “It’s so wonderful that you found a new family with such good people,” she says, her voice filled with genuine warmth. “Holly told us so much about you, and we’re so glad you’re here with us.”

You feel touched by her words, and you can see where Holly gets her kindness and compassion. It’s easy to see why Holly’s family had embraced you so readily. The rest of the evening continues with pleasant conversation and laughter, making you feel right at home.

________________

A few days later, you wake up to the smell of breakfast wafting through the house. Holly’s mother has been up early making a huge meal for everyone. You can hear her humming in the kitchen, her cheerful demeanor infectious. You get up, wash your face, and head downstairs to find everyone gathered around the dining table. “Morning, Kas,”Holly says, taking a swing of coffee. She motions to the coffee pot on the counter. “Grab some before it’s gone.”

You grab a mug and quickly pour yourself some and sit next to Holly. As you enjoy breakfast together, you can’t help but think about Simon. His text messages have been sporadic and brief, you didn’t even get one this morning though it’s already noon there. “Have you heard from Keegan?” You finally ask Holly.

“Nope. And it’s pissing me - sorry Mom - making me mad,” she says with a huff. “What about you, Ghost being weird still?” She knows the partial reason why he’s been so distant with her but she has kept her promise and not breathed a word about it. 

“I know it’s probably nothing, but I didn’t even get a text this morning. And he hasn’t FaceTimed since the morning after we got here. I’ve tried but he never answers.” you reply. It’s not like him and saying it out loud makes you freak out even more. You consider texting Price, just to make sure he’s ok but there are not any missions that you know of that he would be on. Surely he would have told you. 

As the day goes on, Holly manages to drag you out for mani-pedis and some little salon a few minutes away. The pampering session is a welcome diversion. However, as you sit in the salon chair and watch the nail technician work on your feet, your phone remains within reach and your eyes occasionally dart towards it. You home for a message or any sign of contact from Simon, but the silence continues to nag at you, casting a shadow over what should be a relaxing outing. Holly chats with you about going out to dinner later but your thoughts are preoccupied. 

“Just call him. Call him and figure out what’s going on. Maybe they found some lead and he’s buried himself in the comms room. You know how he gets, Keegan too. Both of our men have some serious fixation issues.” she finally says after seeing that you've tuned her out for the last 5 minutes.

“You’re right, I don’t know why I’m being so weird about this. He just wasn’t himself before I left. My gut tells me he’s done and just doesn’t know how to break it to me. My therapist would have a heyday with that I’m sure.” you chew your lip. It’s not a constant worry so much anymore but you do have issues accepting anything good in your life. Everything good in your past was so violently taken from you, that you just pushed it away.  Until Simon. But that doesn’t mean you’re not still having thoughts like that. Everyone leaves you, Kas. That’s what you get in life. No, surely Simon is exactly where Holly says he is. You sigh and try calling him. It goes straight to his voicemail. “Hey babe, just checking in. Umm. I miss you. Love you.” you say into the phone and hang up, not feeling any bit better. 

________________

The day you left, Simon had got to work preparing for the trip to France. He had been analyzing footage from the CCTV, watching the doctor’s movements, and coming up with a plan. Keegan had secured a small vacant office space near the man’s apartment under an assumed name. They would have to fly civilian airlines there and back so he purchased tickets for that as well. After sending you off, he had gathered what supplies he could bring without raising suspicion even though he had a security clearance. They would be leaving in two days and as time wore on, he grew more anxious. He knew he hadn’t been himself with you, the guilt still eating at him. 

The first night you were gone, he couldn’t even bring himself to sleep in the bed you shared, opting for the couch instead. When you had texted him, he had been lying there, staring at the open box that contained your engagement ring. Such a simple symbol for something so powerful. He took it out, turning it over in his hands. He could barely get it past the first knuckle of his pinky. What if you said no? All of his insecurities bubbled under his surface, I’m not the type of man a person falls in love with, he thought to himself. The tenderness you offer him feels like the very proof that he’s been ruined. When he looked into your eyes, it was there that he saw his future. He hadn’t known a safe place like that until you came along. He hadn’t realized just how far in his self-loathing he had gone until you kissed away all the remains of it from his soul. I just need to be done with this. He has been so totally engrossed in his mission to make this man pay for the disgusting and inhumane things he did to you, that he was risking tarnishing the one good thing in his life. He tried his best to push away the nagging doubts that had taken hold of him, finally managing to sleep a few hours. 

______________________

Less than 24 hours later, he sits at a cafe in Paris. Keegan is a few tables away, and they’re both tense from anticipation. They’re only blocks away from where Dr. Sieg lives. He takes out his phone, seeing a text from you. You were out shopping with Holly and had sent him a funny picture of yourself riding in a shopping cart with a Santa hat on. He quickly replies and sticks his phone back into the pocket of his hoodie. As they both watched the people pass by on the Parisian streets, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of foreboding. The city of romance and beauty was nothing but a backdrop for a mission that was born out of the need for justice and revenge. Thoughts of you weighed heavily on his mind as they waited for the doctor. They were his anchor and his motivation for doing whatever it took to protect you from hard. 

Like clockwork, the man of the hour starts walking up the street towards the cafe. Simon and Keegan stay still, silently watching him head inside like they’ve learned he does every Tuesday night. The tension is palpable, and their eyes fixed on their target. Casting a quick glance towards Keegan, you see him nod and you squeeze your hands into fists, trying to hold yourself back from yanking the doctor out of there and killing him on the spot. No, what he had planned was going to be a lot more satisfying. They wait, biding their time. Every second that ticks by feels like an eternity as they both prepare to confront the man responsible for so much pain and suffering.

Chapter Text

There are a lot of awful things that Simon has done in his life, ones that he’s not proud of. They keep him up at night and then pay rent in his dreams when he actually can sleep. He’s killed lots of people, too many to count. He’s captured others and tortured some too. There was something inside of his psyche that could neatly compartmentalize all of it. All of the screams, the horror, the carnage. It was all tucked away in some file cabinet in the dusty recesses of his mind. He’s aware that most regard him as a cold, unfeeling machine, and they’re not entirely wrong in that if he’s being honest with himself. It’s something that he has been in intense therapy for, for years. He grew up in such an unstable and horrific home, that he has to be in control. He has to decide what happens and how. The only exception to that rule ever has been you. You created a new space in his mind. One where maybe, there is hope for him. You love him for who he is, in the way that he needs. You don’t try and change him into something he isn’t, something he’ll never be. You don’t judge him for the things he’s done. You raise the bar for him and make him strive to be better every day. And God does he try. Now, though, is not one of those times. 

As the minutes pass and the doctor sits unsuspecting in the cafe, Simon’s thoughts are firmly on nothing but cold revenge and a reckoning with the past. As much as he has grown because of you, his mission with the doctor is a welcome return to the ruthless man he has trained himself to be. The man that can and will do what needs to be done, without hesitation. He keeps his eyes locked on the door of the cafe, impatiently waiting for the doctor to come back out.

Suddenly he feels a vibration in his hoodie pocket, it’s a FaceTime call from you. He cusses under his breath as he lets it ring until it quits. Bloody hell . It killed him to ignore it. Before he can decide if he should text you, the doctor comes back out and heads off in the direction of his apartment. It’s just a few blocks away and after letting him get to the corner of the road, he glances at Keegan and gives him a miniscule nod. Simon takes one last sip of his now cold tea and pushes his chair in. He takes off down the sidewalk as the doctor crosses the road in front of him. As soon as Simon is across, Keegan gets up and follows. He hears him through the earpiece he’s wearing in case of emergency, “Showtime Ghost, let's get his ass.”

Silently, he tails the doctor from a distance, his movements fluid and unobtrusive. He knows he must stay undetected, out of sight until the right moment to strike. He matches the doctor’s pace but little by little, he gets closer to the man, waiting for him to cross the next road. As they get closer to the apartment, the crowds of people die out, and when they turn onto a smaller side street, there’s no one else left around. He keeps his head down, his hands in his hoodie pocket as he closes the distance. The doctor turns, digs out a set of keys from his pocket, and starts to unlock his front door. As soon as he pushes it open Simon takes one last glance around, making sure that no one else is around, he steps to the side, reaches the man, and grabs his shoulder to spin him around. With one swift strike, he knocks the man unconscious as Keegan catches up. He grabs the doctor as he falls, dragging him off of the stoop and Keegan quickly grabs his ankles. They carry his limp body over to a rental car they had parked nearby earlier in the day. Simon handcuffs the doctor and stuffs a gag into his mouth. Finally, he slips a hood over his face. “Fucking bastard is heavy as hell,” Keegan says as he gets into the driver's seat.

“Won’t be long,” Simon grunts, before grabbing a backpack from the floorboard of the backseat. He heads towards the doctor's apartment as Keegan keeps watch outside. Once inside, he shuts and locks the door behind him, and pulls out a pistol. He moves quickly through each room, careful not to disturb anything, making sure he’s alone in there. Once satisfied, he starts looking for any laptops or papers he can find. His movements are swift and methodical as he moves through the rooms, checking in every nook and cranny for any clues. In a small spare room at the end of the hallway, he finds what he’s looking for. There’s a laptop and a stack of papers that he thumbs through quickly before stashing in his backpack. On his way out, he sees a large black medical bag on the floor. Flashes of what you had told him when you had escaped dance through his mind as he kneels down and unzips it. Inside there are gloves, vials, syringes, and all kinds of other metal clamps, tools, etc. His throat tightens and his rage nearly blinds him. He grabs the entire bag and exits the apartment, making sure to lock the door on the way out. As he walks over to the car, he glances up and down the small street, still no sign of anyone. When he gets close, Keegan opens the trunk and he throws both bags in there, then climbs into the passenger seat. 

“What’s in the other bag?” Keegan asks as he starts heading towards the office space across the city. 

Simon doesn’t respond immediately. The contents serve as a cruel visual of what you had endured while in captivity with the disgusting man. He can’t help but feel the weight of the horrors the man must have inflicted upon you. Finally, he breaks his silence. “It’s his toolkit. All his instruments and the vials of shit he injected into Kas.”

“Fuck..” Keegan whispers under his breath, his fingers tightening their grip on the steering wheel. “Holly said it was bad but she never gave details, I didn’t want to push.”

“I don’t even know if she’s told me everything yet, mate. Sometimes I catch her staring off at the wall or something, and she has the most heartbreaking look on her face. She doesn’t even realize it. Kills me. She’s been through a lot but I’ve never seen her like that before.” Simon says, glancing back at the still-unconscious doctor. “I’m going to make him pay for every bit of it.”

“She’s tough, man, I’ll give her that,” Keegan says deep in thought. “She’s got to be, I bet under that mask you’re ugly as fuck. Do you even take that thing off around her or what?”

Ghost laughs, “Quite the opposite, mate, how do you think I bagged her?”

“Ohhhh, cocky, alright. I don’t believe it though. I’m the best-looking of the group by a longshot.”  Keegan says, pulling his mask down under his chin and smiling. “See this? Perfection.” he jokes, laughing and glancing back at the doctor to make sure he’s still knocked out.

“You’re going to do this now? You really are mental. If that’s what you need to tell yourself, that’s fine. I do take it off though, more now than probably ever since I started wearing it. It’s nice having our own place.” he says. His mask has been a constant source of banter with Keegan for months. Every time you and Simon go over to their house, he goads him. Truthfully, he would’ve taken it off by now if he didn’t know that it bothered him so much. Simon thought it was hilarious. 

Keegan gives up on it, “Whatever, did you find anything else in there?” 

“I grabbed his laptop and some papers, not sure what's on them but I’ll take a look once we get settled.” Ghost answers, leaning back and rubbing his hands on his thighs. Keegan lights a cigarette and offers one to him. “Thanks, mate.” He takes it, flipping up the bottom of his mask, and lets the smoke fill his lungs. The burning fills up his hollow chest and he breathes it out. Deep in thought, he watches as they speed past shops, all darkened at this hour of the night save for a bar they pass. He watches the people standing outside in line, thinking about how his life got so far removed from normal. He briefly wonders what it would be like to just be a regular person, just going about whatever business. Probably boring. Even when he gets out of the military, it’ll never be like that for him. It’s just not who he is. There wouldn’t be any more missions but there would still be secrecy, training that had been imprinted inside of him, and odd habits. Hopefully less danger. Maybe he’ll miss it, maybe he won’t. Keegan’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts.

“Alright, we’re here,” he says as he parks and gets out. They had been there earlier in the day getting things ready. They had laid a tarp down and stashed their supplies there. Simon gets out and goes around the side of the car while Keegan unlocks the back door to the office space. He yanks the man out by his armpits and quickly drags him inside and lets him fall to the ground with a loud thud. They lock the door again and carry the man down the short hallway to the main room. They’d put a chair in the middle of it and brought in a battery-operated spotlight that Keegan flips on. “Fuck that’s bright,” he says as he squints his eyes, letting them adjust to the sudden brightness in the room.

They quickly lift the man up,  get him in the chair, and tie a rope around his chest, pinning his arms to his sides and securing him to the back of the chair. They each grab an ankle and tie those to the legs of it too. “Give me the keys, I need to grab those bags.” Simons asks and Keegan tosses him the keys then settles up against the wall, keeping an eye on the man. He should be waking up soon, Keegan had checked for a pulse when they tied him up so he knew he was still alive.

Simon takes the keys and heads back out to the car, returning with the bags. He places them on a counter and pulls the laptop and papers out of his backpack. After quickly flipping through the papers, he finds that most of it is just junk. Utility bills, random letters, just some old post. Towards the end, he finds a few papers that look like an old fax. There isn’t anything on there but a return number and a long string of letters and numbers. Crypto. Here we go . He neatly stacks the papers back up, putting the few important ones on top, and puts them back in the bag. As he turns on the laptop, the doctor begins to stir, groaning softly as he regains consciousness. He motions at Keegan to come over to him, “See if you can get into this.”

Simon slowly walks around the front of the man. With a yank, he rips off the hood. The doctor’s eyes flutter open, and as he slowly comes to his senses, he realizes he’s tied to the chair. Fear and panic wash over his face, and he starts to struggle against the ropes. Simon steps closer and bends down to get level with him, his face cold and impassive as he looks straight at his captive. “Welcome back, mate,” he says, his voice dripping with disdain. “We have a lot of questions, and you.. You’re going to answer them.”

Chapter Text

Simon rips the gag out of his mouth and the doctor’s eyes dart around the room, and he stammers, “Who are you? What do you want?”

Simon leans in closer, his eyes narrowing as he speaks in a low menacing tone. “I’m your new best friend. I want answers, and you’re going to provide them. Starting with who you’re working with and how you got involved with a certain man named Phillip Graves. Ring a bell, does it?”

The doctor’s face tightens, and he swallows before speaking. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t done anything.”

“Now, you see, I thought you might say something like that,” Simon says as he stands up, revealing his full height. The doctor cranes his neck to look at him. He motions for Keegan to bring over the medical bag and the man jumps, not realizing there is someone behind him. Simon takes it and drops it at his feet. He looks down at it and back up at the doctor. “Nice bag you got here. Wonder what’s in it? Shall I have a look?”

“No, no, that’s nothin-” the doctor sputters.

“Oh it’s not nothing now is it?” Simon kneels down and unzips the top. He reaches in and pulls out a few vials. “This looks interesting. Don’t you think so?” he asks Keegan, looking over the doctor's trembling shoulder.

“Sure does.” Keegan answers.

“Hmm. Oh look, a syringe too.” He reaches in and pulls it out. “Now that’s just handy.”

“Tha-that’s nothing, I’m a do-doctor, it’s all for work.” the man stammers out, his eyes pleading desperately with Simon. “It’s for my patients. Please.”

“Is that what you call them? Patients? The ones that are brought to you. Ahh yes, I know all about the practice that you run. So let’s start this over. How did you get involved with Graves?” Simon stands back up and pops the metal top off of one of the vials. The doctor watches in terror, his eyes wide with fear, as Simon sticks the needle through the rubber stopper and slowly fills one of the syringes.

He chokes out a response, “I..I was approached by a man. He said that he had a job for me, and I needed the money. I didn’t know what it was.”

Simon narrows his eyes, clearly unimpressed with the doctor’s words. “A man approached you, and you just decided to jump on board without asking any questions?”

The doctor begins to tremble harder, “I didn’t know.. I didn’t know what they were doing. They told me it was medical work, research.. But then it got darker. I can’t get out. I’m trapped. They threatened to kill me if I stopped helping.”

Simon tilts his head, considering the man’s words. “Trapped huh? What’s the return number and these crypto keys on these papers?” he asks. Keegan brings them over and holds them up in front of the man’s face.

The doctor swallows hard, his eyes darting toward the papers. “That’s how they communicate with me, but I’ve never met anyone in person.”

“Now don’t lie to me… Have you taken work from anyone else? Or is it all the same group?” Simon asks. In all the digging he had done over the last few weeks, he couldn’t figure out who that group was that he was running the organ trades with. He hadn’t expected it to be Graves, too messy for what he usually got into, but he could be wrong.

“Same group, it’s all been the same.” he says quietly. Simon chews this over in his head for a few moments.

“And how was Kenny Werner involved?” Simon asks, stooping back down and getting even with his face. His grip on the syringe tightens as he continues to fight the urge to kill the man before they can get more answers. 

Doctor Sieg’s face drops and he starts frantically wiggling around as he makes a connection in his head. “Oh God, you’re here for her. Please, I didn’t have a choice-”

“Right you are, we are here for her. How much did you get paid for what you did to her, huh? I wonder..” He nods towards Keegan who steps forward and grabs the man’s shoulders to hold him in place. “Is that what you used on her?” He says, tilting his head and shoving the vial in his face.

The doctor’s face contorted in guilt and fear. “Yes,” he whispers. “Yes, I used that on her.” 

Simon leans in closer, his voice dripping with contempt. “Well, mate. You’re going to help us find Graves. And.. If you don’t, you’ll find out what it feels like to be on the receiving end of this.” he holds up the syringe to his face. 

“Please, you don’t understand. I never meant for any of this to happen. They forced me to do those things. I was just trying to save myself.” The doctor pleads.

Simon’s expression remains cold and unforgiving. “Save yourself? What about the lives you ruined in the process, hmm? What about Kasper?”

“I thought, I thought she got away?” he stammered.

“Oh my wife made it back to me, don’t you worry. If she hadn’t this would have been a much shorter conversation. I can promise you that.” Simon whispers in his face. The doctor pales and begins to tremble even more. 

“Yo-your wife? I’m so sorry, so sorry, please don’t hurt me. Please.” he begins to sob. Ghost stands up and motions for Keegan to leave the room. 

“I’ll let you think about that for a while.” Ghost says as he leaves the room and closes the door behind him, leaving the doctor in there and letting everything sink in. Before he continued, he needed to check the laptop and see what else they could find. As he leaves the room, the doctor’s sobs fill the silence of the dimly lit office space. Alone and trembling, he contemplates the gravity of his situation and the atrocities he had been a part of.

Simon heads over to the laptop and begins a thorough search of its contents. The idiot hadn’t even put a password on it. The minutes tick by as he meticulously combs through files, emails, and any other data he can find. Outside the room, Keegan stands guard, keeping a close watch on the door, making sure the doctor doesn’t attempt anything stupid. The tension in the room remains palpable as Simon’s fingers dance across the keyboard, slowly unraveling the threads of the doctor’s involvement. As he goes through the emails, he comes across some old communications from Kenny and his blood runs cold. From the looks of it, the doctor is downplaying his involvement in all of this. In the email exchange, they laugh about what he plans on using on her, whatever serum he had come up with in his home lab. His hands grip the edge of the counter and tremble.

“What’d you find?” Keegan asks, watching Simon lose control. 

“He made that shit just for her. And the fuckers laughed about it.” Simon snarls. As soon as Keegan hears his response he kicks the door open and in just a few long strides, he stands in front of the doctor. Sieg’s eyes widen as he storms into the room and he stammers, “I didn’t know what I was doing… I didn’t have a choice… You must believe me.”

Fueled by anger and frustration, he grabs the doctor by the collar and punches him in the face. The man cries out as Keegan lands blow after blow. “YOU SICK FUCK!” he screams, “DON’T YOU LIE TO US!”

Simon brings the laptop in front of the doctor and holds it up, showing him the incriminating emails. “Look at this. You and Kenny were in on this together, laughing about what you planned to do to MY WIFE! Get the syringe, Keegan. You fucking lying piece of SHITE!” Keegan quickly grabs the syringe from the other room and hands it to Simon, then holds the doctor still. His face is battered and bloodied from Keegan’s assault and he’s sobbing uncontrollably. Simon takes the syringe and holds it up menacingly. “You need to pay for what you did to Kasper,” he says with a cold, unyielding gaze. 

“I’m so sorry.. Please, I’ll tell you everything, anything you want to know.” Dr. Sieg stammers. Keegan keeps a tight grip on the doctor, his anger at a boiling point. “Start talking, and if you leave anything out, I’ll let Ghost here give you a taste of your own medicine.”

The doctor begins to spill the details, giving them everything he knows about his involvement with Kenny and Graves. All of the horrible experiments he had conducted, all of the organ trading, the money exchange. They listen to him intently, permanently recording the information in their minds. 

“You fucking Pussy. How many times did you inject Kas with that shit and she never spilled a word. Pathetic  Fucking pathetic.” Keegan says to him, his voice dripping in disgust. “Do it, Ghost. We’re done here.”

Simon takes the syringe and buries it into a vein in the doctor’s arm. As he pushes the plunger down, shooting the contents into his body, Dr. Sieg starts screaming. Simon is almost sick to his stomach knowing that’s what you had endured over and over again for weeks. He tosses the now empty syringe back in the bag on the floor and rips off his mask. “Look at me. LOOK AT ME!” he screams at him. “I hope this is the face that haunts you even in death.” 

The doctor’s screams fill the room as he forces himself to look at Simon. Keegan unholsters his silenced pistol and hands it over to Simon. “Shut him up, I’m ready to go home.” With one last look at the pathetic man, Simon puts a bullet in between his eyes. The room falls silent. He lets out a shaky breath and hands the gun back to Keegan. “Grab the bags and put them in the car. I’ll start cleaning up in here.”

____________________________

Hours later, after they had disposed of this body and meticulously cleaned up the office space, they headed back to their hotel room. Up until then, there had barely been a word spoken between them. It was just a methodical dance, doing what they needed to do, neither one needing to fill the silence with chatter. They both knew what they had done was illegal and borderline sadistic. Really though, neither man had a single regret. It wasn’t shame that kept them quiet, just years of training and a united sense of accomplishment. Once back in the room, Keegan starts changing his clothes and getting ready to shower. Simon sits down on the bed and takes his boots off. 

“I’m so fucking mad at you right now,” Keegan says, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it in his bag. “This is some bullshit.

“What are you on about now?” Ghost asks. 

“I’ve been asking you for months to take that fucking thing off your head-”

“Oh bloody fucking hell, don’t start with me,” Ghost interrupts him, laughing. “You are such a child.”

“Hey, I’m just saying. Not cool man, not fucking cool.” Keegan says, walking into the bathroom and starting the shower. “And you’re not even all fucked up. I thought ok, maybe he’s all jacked up and weird looking, surely that’s why he keeps it on, I mean I would. Nope. Stud. SO fuck you two times dude.” he shuts the bathroom door as Simon laughs. He pulls his phone out and texts you.

SImon: Sorry babe, got busy. I love you though, I hope you guys are having fun. I’ll call you tomorrow, I promise.

It’s late where you’re at so you don’t text him back. He plugs his phone in and sets it on the nightstand. He pulls his mask and shirt off, the room’s dim lighting casts a heavy shadow across his face, accentuating the scars and lines that run across his skin. His back is covered in scars, the largest of which are on his ribs from being hung up on hooks by them long ago. He leans back onto the bed and stares at the ceiling, lost in thought. The doctor is dead, but the repercussions of their actions and the weight of all the secrecy is heavy on him. The echos of his choices reverberate in the stillness of the room. He digs out the ring he bought you and pulls it out of the box, something he’s done countless times since getting it. He had stashed it away before you left but since then, he compulsively has it on him. Killing the doctor and getting information about Graves, more than he thought they would actually, was a huge weight off his back and he can’t wait for you to get back. He checks his phone to see if you text back and sees “read” 3:13am” under his last message. Bloody hell. He sighs and sits up as Keegan comes back into the room. “Hey, call your friend Sam and get us on a jump flight. I’m not flying civilian shite, not with this bag,” he says to Keegan.

“Already texted him, and he said it’s fine, should be able to leave around 9, which leaves me.. 4 hours of sleep so that’s awesome.” He crawls into his small bed. “You hear from Kas?” 

“I texted her and she left me on read mate. It should be fun when she gets back. Might have to go hide at your place.” Ghost stands up and pockets the ring box again. 

Keegan glances over at Simon, “You know she’s got a lot on her plate too.” he offers, “She’ll understand. Just give her some time.”

Chapter Text

Holly and you sit on your long flight back home. You glance at her and she’s lost in thought, it was tough for her to leave her family again and come back here. That’s one bad thing about this lifestyle, there’s no time for those you want to spend it with the most. Too much distance, too many missed holidays, and unanswered phone calls. The last day you were there, she had borrowed her brother’s car and drove you up to your parent’s graves. She had helped you brush the snow off the gravestones and set some fresh flowers. She held your hand as you wept in a heap on the ground when it got to be too much and then helped you back to the car. There were so many things you wanted to tell them and couldn’t, so you had done what you could and left, neatly packing your grief back into it's box in your mind.

Yesterday, you had finally gotten a phone call from Simon, which you ignored. The day before, you had confirmed from Price that he wasn’t out on a mission in the last week. Soap and Gaz didn’t know where he was either. After finding out that information, you went from worried to pissed. More than pissed. Keegan had been similarly distant with Holly too. Your worst fears swirled in your mind, maybe he made a mistake and cheated. Maybe he didn’t love you anymore. Maybe he wouldn’t be there when you got back and didn’t have the heart to tell you. When you finally did speak to him halfway into your trip, he still sounded off, detached. Something was eating at him. Was it guilt? Something worse? Whatever it was, he had some explaining to do. You had one more hour left until you landed and you grew anxious. You had taken your jeep to the base the day you left so you weren’t sure if Simon would be there since you didn’t need a ride home. You hadn’t discussed it at all either. 

After another hour, you can see the base out of the window of the plane and your stomach drops, from both the quick landing and from knowing what you had to deal with. Your earlier questions about if Simon will be there or not when you land are quickly answered. As soon as you step off the plane with your bags, he’s standing right there next to Keegan. You and Holly exchange a glance and roll your eyes. They glance at each other too, more sheepishly. Without further thought, you brush right past him as he holds his hand out to take your bag for you. “I’ve got it.” you say to him, walking off. Holly stays right next to you and you both head towards your jeep. It’s quite a long way from the tarmac and the boys dutifully follow a fair distance behind. You can hear them whispering to each other but you can’t make out what they’re saying and you don’t look back. The both of you throw your bags in the bag and turn around, hands on hips. Simon and Keegan stop in their tracks, looking contrite. If you weren’t so mad at him you’d falter, he looked adorable. Nope, he’s in trouble you tell yourself. You iron out the beginnings of a habitual smirk on your face before anyone can catch it.

Holly is the first to speak, and she raises her hand and points her finger at the both of them. “We love you, but right now, you can both go fuck yourselves or each other, doesn’t matter to me,” she says wagging her finger between the two of them. “We are going to Kas’s house to sleep. You may go to mine, the both of you, until further notice.”

“Kas..” Simon starts, “I’m so-”

“No, not working on me. I don’t know what you’ve been up to but you two are hiding something and I’m too tired to deal with it. I love you but as Holly said, you can fuck off for now.” you say. The both of you get into your jeep and watch them stare at you as you reverse out of your spot and pull away. Once a safe distance away Holly pipes up, “Ok but oh my God how fucking cute are they. I know, I know, we’re mad but scolded, head hanging Keegan was adorable.”

“Ok but you’re so right.” you giggle. “I wonder when the last time someone dressed them down like that was. Years. Everyone else is too scared of them. I didn’t think their eyes could get that big.”

Holly imitates them opening her eyes as far as she can and dropping her jaw in fake shock and you both die in laughter. “Keegs probably bricked up though. Bastard.  He likes when I’m mean.” she rolls her eyes. “Ahh well, at least we know they’re alive, and they looked like they knew they were in trouble when we walked off the plane so maybe they’re not total dumbasses.”

“I just wonder what the fuck was so important that they were acting so weird. Even before we left. I thought maybe Ghost might be upset because he would have a hard time with me being gone, but it’s like he didn’t even have time to struggle, he was too busy doing some secret ass thing. When Soap said he didn’t know where they were, livid. LIVID.” you say as you drive back to your house.

Holly nods, “Yeah that’s what gets me too. Pretty weird, not going to lie. Keegan’s never done that before. Like I know they didn’t cheat or anything because let's face it, they both know we would kill them, but it pisses me off. No lies. That’s the deal. No matter what. And that’s been broken.”

“Same. Trust is everything and Ghost knows that. But you’re right, we need to sleep this off and let them simmer a bit and handle it tomorrow.” You pull up and park in your garage. After grabbing your bags and dropping them on the floor, you both head to separate bathrooms for a shower. After you finish up and get out you glance at your phone.

Simon: I’m sorry, love. You have every right to be mad. Please don’t make me sleep at their house. 

You huff out a breath, torn between your frustration and your desire to understand what’s been going on. 

Kasper: I know you are but I’m upset and I don’t want to say anything I might regret. I don’t know what happened when we were gone but this isn’t ok. 

Simon: It’s not. But I would like to explain, it’s not what you think.

Kasper: We can talk tomorrow Si, ok? I’m going to eat and go to bed.

Simon: Alright love. I got some Chinese food from our favorite place in the refrigerator for you at lunch today. I love you.

Kasper: Thank you, love you too

You sigh and toss your phone down as Holly comes into your bedroom. “You too huh? Keegs is blowing my phone up. What do you think they were doing?”

“Beats me. I know they were working on intel about that asshole ‘doctor’ before we left but as far as I know, they were still trying to figure it all out. If it has something to do with that, I don’t know why they wouldn’t tell us. Unless.. they did something stupid and went down there…” Your eyes meet hers and narrow. “Surely not. Price would have said something.”

“Hmm.. Unless he didn’t know. Or it wasn’t technically a ‘mission’ so he wasn’t lying per se. Why wouldn’t they tell us though?” she thinks out loud.

“Because I wouldn’t have agreed to it. Not after everything I went through when I was there. I don’t want Ghost anywhere near the man.” you answer. “Come on, let's eat, I’m too tired for this shit.”

You spend the next hour eating and talking bout the Christmas party happening tomorrow night. Despite being pissed at the boys, you’re so excited to see them dressed up. You’re already imagining Simon in a tux and how delicious he’s going to look. “He better have a good excuse because if he ruins this, I’ll be pissed.” you laugh as you head to bed.

_______________________

The following day, you wake up to the familiar sounds of your home, but the weight of unresolved tension lingers in the air. You and Holly exchange glances over breakfast, both of you aware of the impending conversations you need to face. Around mid-morning, you receive another text from Simon.

Simon: I respect that you need space, but can we talk sooner rather than later? I can’t stand the thought of you being upset with me.

You sigh, contemplating your response. Despite your anger and hurt, you need to get this over with. You type a brief message.

Kasper: Fine, you can come home and talk. Holly is leaving in half an hour.

With that settled, you and Holly make plans to meet up a bit before the party and drive there together. After she leaves, you see Simon walking across the front lawn and making his way inside. His expression is a mix of nervousness and remorse. The air is thick with unspoken words as you motion for him to sit across from you in your living room. Once a comforting place, the room now feels like a battleground of emotions. 

Simon takes a deep breath after pulling his mask off and looks at you. “Kas, I’m truly sorry for everything. I should’ve communicated better. What I did was out of line, and I understand you being upset with me.”

You nod with a mixture of frustration and concern on your face. “Explain, Simon. What the hell happened?”

He takes a deep breath, bracing himself for what’s next. “I lied to you.” he starts and your mouth goes dry. “It was my idea for you to go to the States with Holly so that Keegan and I could go to France.” he rushes out, looking down at his hands. “That’s why I didn’t answer when you would call, or FaceTime. I was there.”

“You’re fucking JOKING Simon, tell me you're joking.” you spit out. How fucking dare he?? “You were clear in fucking FRANCE? Why wouldn’t you tell me??”

“Because I knew you’d be upset-” 

“Oh THAT’S a great reason. Is that what you do when I don’t like something? Just lie? Wow, wonderful. That makes me feel SO much better, thank you! Gee, I feel silly getting upset.” you stand up and start pacing back and forth in front of him.

“No, I’ve never lied to you before. And if it makes you feel any better, it makes me sick to my stomach knowing I broke your trust. I shouldn’t have gone about it that way. I wasn’t thinking clearly.” he says, barely meeting your eyes.

“I talked to Price you know, he said you weren’t on a mission,” you say, hands on your hips. “So what the fuck did you go there for?”

“We weren’t.. Not technically, so it wasn’t a lie,” he says and you scoff. “Don’t be upset with him. It was off the books.”

“That makes me feel a lot better.” you roll your eyes. “Spit it out, Simon. What was so bad about going to France that you had to lie about it? You think I’m some fragile thing that can’t handle the truth?”

He looks genuinely remorseful, “It’s not that, Kas. It’s just.. It was complicated. Keegan and I tracked down the doctor, we needed to handle him before he vanished entirely.”

The mention of the doctor tightens the knot in your stomach, but you push through the pain. “You know I didn’t want you anywhere near him. And we promised each other, no secrets.”

Simon runs his fingers through his hair, frustration evident on his face. “I know, and I messed up. I shouldn’t told you. But Kas, I couldn’t bear the thought of you getting involved. I wanted to protect you.”

Your eyes narrow, “Protect me? By lying? I can’t believe you'd do this. You shut me out and manipulated me.”

He reaches out, trying to touch your arm, but you pull away. “Kas, please. I never meant to hurt you. Please don’t do that, it’s killing me.” he looks up at you, his eyes filled with unshed tears.

“So what then? Did you get what you needed?” you ask, sitting back down and taking a deep breath. “Why would this be off books if you were just gathering intel, we do this all the time.”

“Because we didn’t just get intel. He’s dead.” he says, “Keegan and I kidnapped him. We took him to an abandoned office building, tortured him, found out everything, and then I killed him.” He levels his gaze on you, watching you process everything he just said.

The weight of his words hangs heavily in the air. “You did what?” you say.

Chapter Text

You stare at Simon, trying to process what he just said. “I’m sorry, but you went and risked everything.. Your career, your life.. with no backup, on a mission that wasn’t approved, to go kidnap, torture, and kill that asshole? That’s what I’m hearing?”

“Well I did have backup, love, Keegan was there,” he says and shoots you a sly grin. “He deserved it. For what he did to you, and to countless others. He was a monster.” He stands up and comes over to you. He kneels in front of you and takes your hands in his. “There isn’t a thing on this earth I wouldn’t do for you. Not a single thing. I know I went about it wrong, but I couldn’t sit here in this house with you knowing that man was out there in the world still. I’m sorry for lying to you, but I’m not sorry for what I did.”

“You’re an idiot.” you sigh, your anger ebbing away. “An absolute idiot.”

“I know-”

“And you lied to me.” 

“I know-”

“You killed him for me?” you look down at him as he nods. You stare at him, trying to process everything still. A mix of emotions swirl within you, but surprisingly, they’re a strange sense of satisfaction. “So it’s all over with then?”

Simon nods with a fierce determination in his eyes. “I couldn’t let him walk away after what he did. I had to make sure he couldn’t hurt you or anyone else again.”

A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips. “Well, fine. I can’t say I’m upset about it. In fact, I’m glad you took care of it.”

Simon’s eyes search yours, trying to gauge your true feelings. “You’re not angry?”

You shake your head. “I should be, maybe I will be later. But right now, I’m glad you did what you did. I’m not saying I’m not upset about the lying, Si, You should’ve trusted me enough to tell me the truth. But I understand why you did it, and I’m not going to pretend that I’m not relieved that the man is gone.” you admit. You pull your hands out of his and throw them around his shoulders. He buries his face into your neck and sighs.

“I’m sorry, I just love you. I missed you every second you were gone,” he whispers into your ear.

“I missed you too.” You take in a deep breath, breathing in his deep woodsy cologne and the faint smell of his gum, and sigh, you’ve missed that. You relax your shoulders and lean into him. “Come on, let's eat and then I have to start getting ready.”

The atmosphere between the two of you gradually shifts as you both grab some food and sit down. The weight of the truth, the anger, and the relief mingle in the air as you catch up with everything else that’s happened in the last week. You tell him all about Holly’s family and how amazing they were and he hangs on every word. That’s one thing you do appreciate about Simon, he always listens. Never in a way that makes you feel like he’s just being polite or like he’s just waiting for you to stop, he actively listens to you and asks questions. His subtle gestures, the way he smiles at your anecdotes, and the shared laughter gradually mend what’s been done. It’s hard to stay mad at him for long any time but especially when all he really wanted to do was keep you safe. He wasn’t cheating, he was out exacting revenge.

“What else did you do while I was gone?” you ask him.

“Slept on the couch, caught up on some paperwork. I turned everything in I found in France to Price and he’s trying to sift through it all. We can’t exactly ask anyone else without explaining where it came from so it’s been slow. Otherwise, I’ve been shitting it waiting for you to get back and yell at me.” he says with a shrug.

“Well, at least you made it back safe. Why did Keegan go? Holly was pissed at him too the whole time. They’ve already been having issues you know.” you ask. 

“Price told me to bring him. I don’t think we wanted anyone else from the team with me. Just in case. Plus he’s got the stomach for it. I think he even had fun honestly. He did mention Holly a few times. I think he’s just struggling after moving in. He’s more independent than he thought but he loves her. He’ll get over it I’m sure, he just needs some alone time.” he says, getting up and cleaning off the island. As he rinses your plates off in the sink he glances back at you. “What time do you want to get there tonight?”

“Eh, probably like a half hour after it starts. I’m going to shower, stay out of there,” you say as he finishes up and comes over to you. He wraps you into his arms. 

“You sure you don’t need any help?” his eyes glint and he has a mischievous grin.

“Nope, no, stay away, if you get involved we won't make it there.” you giggle and duck out of his arms. You point your finger at him as you back away. “Shoo, you go get ready in the other bathroom. You can wait til after the party mister.”

Simon raises his hands in mock surrender, a playful smile on his face. “Alright, alright, I’ll behave, love.” He winks at you before heading off to get ready.

You quickly shower and get ready, taking extra care with your hair and makeup for once. You rarely wear it but tonight you smoke out your eyes and tap a little bit of glitter on your lids. It only took you three tries to make your eyeliner match so you count it as a success. After curling your hair and swiping on a deep red lipstick you take a final glance in the mirror. You see just a hint of your scars under your makeup but you stopped worrying about them long ago. Sometimes you still wish you could go back to how you were before, but it’s part of who you are now. And that woman is strong, fierce, and very much loved. You can’t help but smile at the reflection staring back at you. You move out into the bedroom and slip on your dress and heels. Damn, look at you you think as you stand up and check yourself in the mirror. You grab your phone and call Holly. “Hey you guys headed over?” you ask.

“Yeah, we’re leaving in a minute. Running a little behind, I had to redo my makeup.” she giggles. “Keegs attacked me. Leaving now.”

You hang up and head out to the living room. On the way, you catch Simon coming out of the other bathroom and your jaw hits the floor. He’s in a black tux and the sight of him stops you in your tracks. He stands there and fixes his cuffs before he looks up and sees you. He opted for a half mask, leaving the top half of his head free and his sandy blond hair is styled instead of its usually fluffy mess. He looks so damn good you almost jump him right there. He stares right back at you, and grabs the collar of his starched white shirt, tugging it a bit and clearing his throat.

“Fuck, Kas. Do we have to go?” he murmurs as he steps closer to you and drags a hand up your exposed thigh. His other he wraps around your waist and when he feels that your dress is backless you hear him moan. He grabs your hand and turns you in a spin as you let out a throaty giggle.

“You like?” you ask him, your eyes burning hole into him.

“Too much, love. Jesus. You look incredible.” he says his eyes wide with disbelief and slowly melting into hunger. He’d never seen anyone look that beautiful he thinks to himself. “This is going to be a long night. Are you trying to punish me still or what darling?” He yanks you back into his arms and kisses you, grabbing your face between his hands and groaning. You grab both sides of his dress jacket and pull him down to you and he takes one hand and slides it from your face down to the dip of your lower back and bends you backward, pulling your waist into him. He juts his hips forward grinding himself into you but just when you think to yourself, screw the party, you hear a knock at the front door. “Fuuuuck is that them?” Simon says as he pulls away and adjusts himself. 

You head to the front door and open it and Holly and Keegan stand there. “Oh my God do you need a  minute or what girl?” Holly asks and starts laughing and she looks past you at Simon trying to figure his life out behind you.

“Maybe.” you giggle, “Come on babe, let's go.” Simon grabs his phone off the entry table and heads out the door with you. He whispers into your ear as he helps you into his car. “I’m fucking you in that before we leave the party, love. I can promise you that.” He shuts the door before you can reply and you grin down at your hands in your lap. 

You finally make it to the party, it’s being held at one of the larger halls on base that’s generally used for receptions and they’ve set up a bar on one side with a dance floor in the middle of it. You quickly find your table and Simon leads you there, his hand on the small of your back. As you approach, everyone’s eyebrows shoot up at Ghost.

“Whoa whoa whoa, hold up, who is this lad?” Soap shouts over the music and slaps his shoulder as he sits down next to him. “I bring a date and you immediately have to show me up.”

Simon laughs and grabs your hand, brushing a kiss through his mask across your knuckles and you blush. You lean across Simon to introduce yourself to Soap’s date and make a bit of small talk. After a while, Gaz and Price show up together and you notice Price avoiding your eyes. You know why, but he doesn’t know you know and you narrow your eyes at him. 

“Easy, love,” Simon whispers to you. “I forced his hand on it.”

“I know, I’m just upset, I don’t like anyone hiding things from me.” you give him a pointed look and he sighs, running his hand up your thigh. “You’re not playing fair.”

“I don’t intend to, love.” He finally lets go and reaches into his pocket with his other hand and fiddles with the ring box he brought with him. He had meant to propose when you got home but you were so angry with him, he couldn’t. “You thirsty?”

You nod at him and he and Keegan get up to go get some drinks. Price slides over and sits in Simon’s empty seat and you turn to glare at him. “Not on a mission huh?” you ask.

“I’m sorry, dear, it was need to know at the moment. I didn’t want you to worry,” he says. “Good news is they made it back and we got a lot of stuff off that laptop he took from him. And we’re working on figuring out what it was that he injected into you.”

“I didn’t realize they took all that stuff, he didn’t say much about it.” you say, chewing your lip.

“They were very thorough. I don’t know what all they told you, but he suffered. And I’m not one bit sorry about that. What he did to you… we’re lucky we have you back.” he squeezes your shoulder. “Thank you, by the way. I haven’t seen Simon this happy, ever. I know I’ve said that before but look at him. He’s not even wearing his usual mask. You’re good for him, and he would give you the world if he could. Go easy on him, I know it tore him up to hide this from you.”

You stay quiet for a bit and nod. “I know, I’m just frustrated. Could’ve been worse though.”

You look around and see Simon on his way back to the table, drinks in hand, his eyes fixed on you the whole way. As he walks, nearly everyone in the room does a double take and turns around to watch him as he passes. Most whisper to each other as he goes past and you grin at him. You can see his tell-tale crinkles around his eyes as he reaches you and kisses the top of your head. “I see you’re causing a scene, as usual,” you say as you roll your eyes and take a sip of whiskey.

“Didn’t notice. I’ve got my eyes on one thing tonight,” he says as he slides his hand under the table and grabs your thigh, sliding up and running them over your panties.

“Oh my GOD get a room,” Holly says to you, throwing her head back and groaning. “Come on, I need to pee.” She grabs your hands and you follow her to the bathroom. Once inside she pulls you into a larger stall with her and leans against the wall of it. She looks like she’s about to cry. “Ok, we need to talk,” she says.

Chapter Text

“I think Keegan is leaving me.” Holly says as she starts bawling. “When I went home we got into a huge fight and now I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Hang on, what are you talking about?? He’s not leaving you.” you say as you stand there wiping the tears off her face for her. “He loves you, what makes you think he’s leaving you?”

“We got into it about what he and Ghost did when we left. I was ripping into him about being shady and lying to me and he snapped. He said I didn’t have any right to ‘micromanage’ him and told me to stop being his mom. I wasn’t trying to be but it made me upset that he was acting the way he was the whole time. And he was withdrawn before we even left.” She slides down the wall into a heap. “I think it was too much, too soon. We just screamed at each other then he fucked me and we had to leave for this fucking party.”

“Oh Holly, I’m sorry. That doesn’t sound like him at all. Maybe he’s overwhelmed? It doesn’t mean he’s leaving you.” You crouch down and get eye level with her. “Couples fight, especially when things get tough. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Maybe it’s just the stress of everything going on. I know you guys have been busy, and this shit with Graves is hanging over everyone’s heads.”

“I asked him to come to Kansas with me.. A few weeks before we left. He wouldn’t and never really gave an answer why, he just was super uncomfortable with the idea. Maybe it was too far. He hasn’t acted the same since. What if it’s more than just stress?” she sniffs, looking up at you with teary eyes. “What if he really wants out?”

You place a comforting hand on her shoulder. “We don’t know that. Let’s get through tonight, enjoy the party, and then you can talk things out when you’re both in a better place ok? Come on. Up, get up.” you grab her hand and pull her up. “It’ll be ok. Let's dry off your face honey, I’ve got some makeup in my purse. We’ll fix you right up and then we are going to go out there and dance and he can just see what he would be missing out on if he left you.” you wiggle your eyebrows at her trying to get her to smile. Reluctantly she does it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Fine. Maybe I’ve had too much to drink. And I know it’s wrong of me and I feel bad but I just watch you and Ghost and it makes me so mad at Keegs. He used to be that way with me too, and he never is anymore. It’s like we’re fucking roommates.” she says as you drag her out of the stall and grab some paper towels.

You dab her face, drying the tears, and pull out some makeup to touch her back up. “No. You know what, you’re a boss fucking bitch. Anyone would be BLESSED to have you. If Keegs isn’t acting right, that’s his fucking loss. We are going out there, putting on a damn show and having a blast. End of story. You hold your head up high. What are you?”

“A boss bitch?”

“A boss bitch is right, come on.” you grab her hand and lead her out to the dance floor. It’s dark and there’s a ton of people but you fight your way to the middle, under the pulsing lights they must have rigged up sometime this week. The music envelopes the dance floor as you and Holly move together, losing yourselves in the rhythm. The atmosphere is charged with energy, and the glances from across the room confirm that you’ve caught the attention of not only the other partygoers but also Simon and Keegan.

They can’t help but watch as you grind on each other, throwing your heads back, arms up in the air. She grabs your waist and you giggle and she spins you around and bends you over, smacking your ass. The tension in the room shifts and they both stare at you, their eyes lingering on every move. You see Keegan whisper into Simon’s ear and he nods but his eyes never leave yours. You see him adjust himself in his seat and run his hands through his hair. You glance at Holly and lean into her ear, “They’re eating this shit up.” As the song reaches its peak, you share another mischievous glance with Holly, and the two of you continue to dance unapologetically all over each other. It’s been so long since you really let loose, years even. Kenny never let you go out, he was too possessive and just the glimpse of the memory makes you want to gag but you shove it back. You wink at Simon, turning your attention back to the dance, fully aware of the attention you’re getting. 

Finally, after a few songs, you’re both sweaty and need to sit down. She takes your hand and pulls you to the bar to grab a quick drink and as the bartender reaches out to hand it to you, you see a strong hand reach out and take it. You widen your eyes, ready to fight whoever it is but you see that it’s Simon. His eyes burn into you and he jerks his head to the side, telling you to follow him. You glance at Holly and she gives you a small smile as he leads you off towards the exit, dropling your drink at a table on the way. 

Once through the door, you struggle to keep up as he drags you through the hallways. Finally, he reaches a door and opens it, pulling you inside. It must be some unused office space but before you have time to see what’s all in there you’re slammed to the back of the now-closed door. He reaches around your waist and locks the door while staring into your eyes with a look he only gets when you’re about to get hate fucked into oblivion. He rarely gets this worked up but when he does, it always ends up interesting.

Without a word, Simon’s lips crash into yours in a fierce kiss. It’s a collision of passion and need, the kind that can only be fueled by pent-up tension. His hands move with purpose through your hair, cupping the back of your head and pulling you up into him. You hang on to his jacket and hitch one of your legs up around his side, clinging on and pulling him closer. You can taste his gum and it mixes with the alcohol on your breath and makes you lightheaded. The pulsating music from the party matches your heartbeat as you groan against his mouth. His hands slowly travel down and he wraps one firmly around the front of your neck. The other he drags down your back and around your waist, finally ending up at the top of the slit on your dress. You hear him moan as he sneaks his hand inside and rubs you through your panties. 

“You’re soaked, love. Such a filthy girl,” he murmurs. The hand around your neck tightens as he grinds his hips into you and slides past your panties, digging two fingers deep inside you. His knee pushes his palm against your clit and you moan as he curls his fingers forward and pumps them slowly in and out. You frantically reach for the belt on his pants but he shifts away. “Ah, ah, darling, not yet.”

A whine bubbles up from your throat and he squeezes your neck harder. His other hand keeps working faster and faster and you start to clench around him. “Fuck, just like that, don’t stop.” you groan to him. You stop breathing and just as you near orgasm, he pulls his hands away and steps back. “Oh my GOD.” you say, your chest heaving. 

He gives you a wolfish grin and looks you up and down. “God you look beautiful when you’re all worked up.” he steps back a bit closer. “You put on quite the show with Holly, half the room was staring, you know…” he takes another half step closer. “I think you DO know, Kas. I wonder how many of the men in there wanted to fuck you.”

You roll your eyes at him and drag a hand through your hair. “Tell me you’re not jealous, Si.”

“Oh I am. I wanted to go out there and fuck you on the dance floor, just so every single swinging dick in that room knows you are mine. And I can’t. If you want me to fuck you after that little show, you’re going to have to beg. 

Your jaw drops open and you slowly smile at him. Hello Ghost you think to yourself. It’s been a minute since he’s been so pushy with you and you fall apart at your seams. Knowing exactly what he wants you close the gap between you and sink to your knees. You look up at him through your lashes with wide eyes as you reach up and rub him through the front of his pants. His lips part and you can see his breathing quicken. “Please? Can I?” you ask, not breaking eye contact and you slowly unzip his pants. He smacks your hands away and frees himself, slowly working his hand up and down his length in front of your face. You try reaching up again but he smacks your hands away and shakes his head at you. He leans down and gathers up your hair in one hand and presses his cock to your lips.

“Open.” he huffs at you.

You do and he shoves himself inside your mouth. He lets go of himself and grabs your hair with his other hand and starts thrusting in and out. You choke a bit at first but you’re able to quickly get your gag reflex under control as he pumps in and out. He lets out a groan and you reach up to his legs, grabbing the backs of his thighs and pulling him in even more. “Fuck.” he whispers through clenched teeth as he throws his head back. He fucks your mouth in a punishing rhythm until he hisses and pulls out, a string of spit still connects your mouth to his cock. “Stand up.” He pulls you up by your hair and walks you over to an empty desk and turns you around. He quickly grabs each strap of your dress and slides them off your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. He slides your panties down and you whimper as he bends you over. “I haven’t heard you beg yet. You want this cock in you yeah? You better start.” he growls.

“Please Simon, fuck me. Please.” you whine and without warning he slams into you.

“Who do you belong to, huh?” he grunts as he sets a frantic pace.

“You, only you.” you say and he speeds up. You’re so close to cumming already from earlier and the angle you’re in has him hitting all the right places deep inside of you. You can feel him bottom out and you wince a bit, scooting further up and desk but he grabs your hip and yanks you back as you whimper.

“Oh no, you’re taking all of it, love.” he says and he reaches down under you to rub your clit. After a few more pumps you can feel your orgasm building until finally you explode around him, your walls clenching him tighter and tighter in waves as he erratically juts into you and with a grunt, he too finishes with a groan. He squeezes a handful of your ass cheeks as you feel his cock throbbing in you, spilling his cum with every twitch until finally it stops. He pumps slowly in and out a few more times and you shake, overstimulated and completely spent. He slowly pulls out and bends down, dragging your panties back up into place. “Don’t you dare clean up, you can keep that as a reminder if you feel like putting on another show, love.”

Chapter Text

As you catch your breath, Simon watches as you pull your dress back up then brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his touch gentle but possessive. You smile up at him and give him a soft kiss before pulling his half mask back up over his mouth and nose. He takes his hand and wipes some of the smudges of your lipstick off your face for you. “Might be my new favorite color, love. Looks amazing on my cock.” he winks at you and you almost combust again. 

“Jesus, Si.” you giggle as he takes your hand and leads you back out of the room. The distant sounds of the party flood back as you walk down the empty hallway. You head back to your table and take a seat. Your panties are soaked with Simon’s cum and you shift, trying to get comfortable. He smiles at you as he sits down next to you and clears his throat. You look over and see Keegan give Simon a knowing look as he takes a sip from his drink, raising his eyebrow. He glances at you and you narrow your eyes and he quickly looks away. Something’s going on with him, he hasn’t been acting right all evening and after what Holly told you in the bathroom, you wonder what’s going on. It’s not like him at all to lash out like that and say what he did to her. Stress or not, it’s not okay, and you’re about one vodka away from pulling him to the side and talking to him about it. The music slows and Simon’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts.

“Come on,” he says, offering you his hand and looking out to the dance floor as the slow song starts. 

“Umm, since when do you dance? Do you even know how?” you tease him.

“You’d be surprised at what I can do love.” he pulls you up and leads you out there, expertly spinning you under one hand and pulling you in close to his chest. You snake your hand behind his neck and tilt your head back to stare at him as he starts swaying to the beat. You can feel him take the lead with the pressure of his hands and his sure movements. 

“Color me impressed, babe.” you grin up at him and then tuck your head into his chest. You can almost hear his slow and steady heartbeat through the music. “We have a problem,” you say just loud enough for him to hear.

He leans back and looks down at you with a confused and slightly worried look on his face. “What’s that?”

“Holly and Keegan… They got into it today when she went home and he said some things to her that really upset her.” you start. “What’s going on with him?”

Simon sighs, “Not sure, he was off when we went to France but it’s not like I asked him why. We had other things going on. What did he say? Holly doesn’t seem the type to let much bother her.”

“Just that she didn’t have the right to ‘micromanage him” and insinuated she was being like his mom,” you answer and you can feel Simon tense under you, his jaw clenching through his mask.

“Hmmm. Beat’s me, love. Want me to talk to him?” he asks, pulling you back into his chest.

“No, I don’t want to start anything.” You rest your head against his chest again, enjoying the dance and the comfort of being in his arms. The subtle fragrance of his cologne mingles with the music, creating a momentary escape from the world. You glance up at him, the dim lighting casting shadows over what features of his face are visible. “I love you.”

“I love you too, (y/n).” he murmurs, he swoops you backward into a bend as the song ends and presses his lips on the top of your head after pulling you back up. It leaves you breathless. “Come on, let's get out of here.”

“What about Hol-” you start.

“Price is taking them home.” he says as he heads to the table and grabs your purse for you. He hands it to you and you wave at everyone and say your goodbyes. Price throws Simon a thumbs up and a knowing wink as you turn and crinkle your eyebrows together in confusion. 

You make it out to the car and once inside, Simon starts leaving base, his hand on your thigh like always. You study the scars on the back of it, tracing some with your fingers and he gives your leg a squeeze. After a few minutes, you look out the window. “I thought we were going home?” you ask as you realize you’re heading in the wrong direction.

“Just stopping somewhere real fast,” he says. He glances at you with an expression you can’t quite figure out. Nervousness? Maybe. Certainly doesn’t match his demeanor earlier in that office. As Simon turns into a parking lot, you look at him with surprise and curiosity. It’s the Chinese food place you always go to. The place always triggers memories of your first date and your heart flutters. The parking lot is totally empty and the lights are off, “It’s closed Simon, what are you doing?”

He glances at you, a small smile playing on his lips. “I thought I’d do something nice for you tonight, I missed you.” He gets out and comes around to open your door, and you step out, your hand still tingling from where his touch lingered. The restaurant's door opens, and the owner greets you with a warm smile. You look over at Simon and realize he left his mask in the car and you’re in shock. 

“Good evening! Don’t you two look amazing tonight? Come on, in, in.” he says as he opens the front door for you. “Who would have thought you cleaned up so nice? Look at you, Mr. Riley.”

Simon laughs as the two of you follow him inside. As you enter you’re met with a beautifully set table adorned with candles and already filled with all of your favorite dishes. Simon pulls out your chair, and you take a seat, your mouth hangs open slightly in awe of everything. He joins you at the table, and the owner discreetly leaves, giving you privacy. “Wow.. I don’t even know what to say.. This is amazing babe, thank you.” you murmur. 

“You deserve it, love.” He smiles at you. He clears his throat and tugs at the collar of his dress shirt. You notice a slight shaking in his hand. “I love you, Kas. More than I have any right to I think sometimes.” your chest tightens and you tilt your head, giving him a sad look. He quietly clears his throat again and gives you a sheepish smile. “I’m not good at this, explaining things clearly. When you showed up here a year ago, you turned my entire life upside down. I thought I had everything figured out.. What I wanted to be, where I wanted to go. And when you got here, I slowly lost sight of it all, and I resented you for it. For how effortlessly did it. I was a total fool. I’m in awe of you, Kas. Utterly.” He gets up and comes around to your chair and kneels. Your mouth drops open at him. “I know I don’t know what lies in our future, and I know it won’t always be easy.. But I can’t imagine going through a single day of it without you in it. So, please.. Would you do me the absolute honor of becoming my wife?”

You raise a hand to your mouth, your eyes welling up with tears as you stare at the small velvet box in his hand. The room feels suspended in time, and the gravity of his words sinks in. You’re overcome with emotion, and your heart pounds in your chest. Simon opens the box, revealing a stunning engagement ring. The sparkle of the diamonds catches the soft candlelight, and you gasp. The beauty of the moment overwhelms you as tears stream down your face. You look into SImon’s eyes, and you nod, not trusting your voice. He slips the rings onto your finger, and it fits perfectly as if it was meant to be there all along. “I love you Simon Riley.” you finally manage to say, your voice thick with emotion. He stands, and pulls you up into a kiss, sealing the promise of a future together.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe this. I had no idea Si.” you say through your tears. “How did you do all this?”

“Holly helped with the ring size, so I can’t take all the credit. But I picked it out. I think the clerks at the store were about to have a heart attack, though.” he grins at you. “God I love you so much. You know that?” You both sit back down and he grabs your hand and spins the ring on your finger back and forth, a huge smile on his face. “You’re so beautiful.”

You blush and smile at him. “It’s perfect, I absolutely love it.” You pull your hand away from him and look closer at it, your heart still pounding. “It’s so sparkly!” You squeal at him and he laughs. “God, I’m just speechless. I don’t know why you think you’re bad at the sappy stuff, you’re amazing. You even brought me where we had our first date! Ugh God you’re so perfect.”

“Just telling the truth, love. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” he shrugs and starts to fill a plate. You stare at your hand for a while longer, waiting for him to finish, and then make your own plate. 

The rest of the evening you eat quietly, stealing glances at each other, the reality of the engagement sinking in. The restaurant once again becomes a special place in your heart. The fact that he even remembered and took the time to pay attention to details has you nearly dizzy. You’re still so in shock of everything, it’s hard to even think straight. As the evening winds down and it gets to be past midnight, you find yourselves in a comfortable silence. Eventually, you finish and as you stand up to leave, the owner comes back out and gives you both a hug. “Congratulations to you both. You have quite the catch here Simon.”

“Oh I know I do, thank you again for everything,” Simon says to him, wrapping an arm around you and smiling.

“No no, I told you, it’s fine. I’m happy for you both. Now get out of here, let me take care of this. I expect to see you next week as usual.” he says to you both and you give him another hug. 

As you drive back home and head inside, Simon sweeps you up into his arms and carries you inside. “Hey now, that’s for after we’re married you know.” you giggle at him. 

“I’m nothing if not thorough, love.” He sets you down and takes your hand, leading you further inside. Once you reach the kitchen, he empties his pockets onto the counter and you take off your heels with a sigh. You come up behind him and gently pull his suit jacket off and hang it over the chair. Once he spins around you smack his hands away from his cufflinks and help him with them, letting them drop on the counter. “Come on, let's shower,” he says, pushing away from the island and grabbing your hand to lead you down the hall.

Chapter Text

The next few weeks went by much like they had before. You and Simon fell into a comfortable rhythm. Mornings were hurried breakfasts and cups of tea. He had finally gotten you to come over to his side on the tea vs coffee debate. Watching him make it for you in the mornings was one of your favorite things. His messy bed hair and sweatpants hanging off his hips as he stood shirtless at the counter were etched into your mind. Evenings were spent catching up, sharing a meal, or crashing on the couch after a long day. Work didn’t change much. If anything having Simon around made dealing with the usual chaos a bit more bearable. Price was still getting intel off of the doctor's laptop and computer, but in the meantime, Graves had gone underground again. Your engagement didn’t turn life upside down. It was there, a shiny ring on your finger, a symbol of something more to come. Plans for the wedding were in the air, but neither of you rushed into the details. It was more of a "we’ll get to it when we get to it” kind of thing. With things so unsettled at work, it was hard to be excited about anything.

Holly and Keegan’s relationship continued to decline and often times she would end up over at your house in the evenings after work. She never said much, but you could tell she was struggling. Any time you asked her she would brush it off. “He’s working late again. It’s nothing.” was about all the answer you’d get from her. Holding true to his word, Simon hadn’t talked to Keegan about anything and neither had you. In fact, you’d barely seen him. Merrick had him gone on so many missions. You weren’t sure if it was necessary or at the request of Keegan. Holly’s unspoken pain tugged at your empathy but with his frequent absence, there wasn’t much you could do about it. Finally, after telling yourself you wouldn’t get involved, you broke down and texted him one morning.

Kas: Hey stranger, want to meet up for lunch?
Keegs: Kind of busy but I can try. Where?
Kas: Get un-busy asshole. Meet me at that bbq place south of the base. Like 11:30.
Keegs: Fuck, fine. CU there

You sighed and it caught Simon’s attention as you both walked out to his car. “What’s wrong?” he asks you.

“Nothing, I asked Keegan to meet me for lunch. I’m so tired of seeing Holly like this. I need to know what’s going on.” you answer.

“I wondered when you would finally sit him down. Is he actually going to come?”

“He said he would but who knows? I guess I’ll see. Want me to bring you some food back? I’m going to that little barbeque place.” you ask.

“No, I’ll be alright. I’ve got a full day, I’ll just grab something from the dining hall and eat it in John’s office. Thank you though, love.” he answers.

_____________________

The air felt heavy as you waited for Keegan. The smell of smoked meat filled the air, but your mind was preoccupied with the impending conversation. You drummed your fingers on the table, stealing glances at your phone. The minutes crawl by, and you wonder if he would show up.

Eventually, Keegan walks in, his demeanor guarded. You exchange a nod and he takes a seat across from you. The atmosphere was tense as you ordered, the small talk feeling forced.

After a few minutes, you decided to address the elephant in the room. “Keegan, what’s going on? You and Holly…’

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just.. Things have been rough. I love her, but I feel like I’m drowning. This job, Graves, I can’t escape it. And every time I come back from a mission it’s like I just can't relax and switch it off.”

You listened, the weight of his words sinking in. “You can’t keep shutting her out. She’s hurting, Keegan. She needs you.”

“Who doesn’t? That’s the problem. Keegan, do this, Keegan, come to this, Keegan, what do you think about this? It’s fucking constant. It’s not that simple. I need space, and time to process everything. Every mission, every threat, it just adds more weight.” he says.

“I understand that I do. But what has Holly done to add to that? She doesn’t ask a thing from you. She doesn’t nag, doesn’t expect anything. She knows what’s going on at work, she’s going through it too.” You stare at him and shrug your shoulders.

“I know, Kas, I know.. It’s not fair to her, I get it. I just don’t know how to handle it all. I’m a fucking mess.” he says as the waiter drops off your food. “I know she doesn’t deserve it. I know that. And I feel guilty, and it makes it worse. Like I can’t stop this shit. I blame myself for shit at work, I blame myself for hurting her, then I hate myself and do it more.”

You sigh. “Have you talked to anyone about this?” he gives you a narrowed glare. “Stop it, I know head doctors aren’t anyone’s favorite thing but at some point, sometimes it’s just what you need to do.”

Keegan looks away, a mix of frustration and resignation in his eyes. “I’ve thought about it, but I don’t need anyone digging through my brain. Besides, I can handle it. We just need this shit over with. Then let's add that to the list of shit, because you know what happens after we nail this bastard once and for all? My unit leaves. We go back home to the States. What am I going to do then?”

“Holly goes too, doesn’t she? Is that what you mean?” you ask.

“No, I know that, I’m glad she does. I don’t want to leave you guys. You’re like my fucking family man. All of you. And I haven’t said anything to anyone but I left a fiance behind, she left me when I came over here. What am I supposed to do with that? I have to go dig all my shit out of storage and explain it all to Holly. See all those people again. Fuck that.”

“Oh man..” you sigh again and sit back. “Keegan, I’m sorry. Why haven’t you said anything to Holly? She’ll understand you know, she loves you. She just needs you to open up, and let her back in. I love you both, and honestly seeing how the two of you are is killing me.”

“Beats me. I know it wouldn’t be a big deal. I just.. You and Ghost getting engaged.. It brought back a lot of shit. And I’m not ready to take that step with Holly. The last time didn’t work out. What if she expects it now? What am I going to do tell her ‘Hey Holly, I love you but I don’t want to marry you right now. Ask again later like a mgic eight ball.’ Yeah, that would be such a fun talk.”

“Well, this shit that you’re doing isn’t working. So knock it off. Talk to her. Because trust me, being in the dark and not knowing where you stand with someone is one hundred times worse than what you have to say to her. That’s not fair, and you’re better than that.” you tell him.

“Am I though? How do you know? Maybe I’m an asshole who bit off more than he can chew. You ever think that?” he snips at you and you sit back, your mouth hanging open.

“Maybe you are. Maybe I was wrong about you.” you stand up and shove your chair backward so hard it almost falls over. As you start to walk off he grabs your wrist.

“Fuck, Kas, I’m sorry. Sit down.” he pleads. You think about it for a second and sit back down and stare at him as he looks down at his plate. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. The pressure man… It’s just getting to me. I’ve snapped at her too. And I hate myself. But that’s nothing new. I joke a lot, I’m fun, outgoing, the life of the party, good-looking as hell. And I hate myself.”

Keegan’s vulnerability cut through the tension, exposing the raw edges of his struggles. You could see the internal battle he waged, the weight of expectations and self-doubt pressing down on him. It was a side of him rarely revealed, and it left you with a mix of frustration and empathy.

“Keegan, you’re not an asshole. You’re human. We all have our breaking points, our moments of weakness It doesn’t make you any less of a person.” you said, your voice softening. “But you need to find a healthier way to cope with all this. Pushing away the people who care about you isn’t the answer.”

He nodded, a heaviness in his eyes. “I know, I just… I’m not used to dealing with shit like this. I’ve always been the guy who brushes things off with a joke or a mirk. Facing my own demons head-on? No thanks.”

“It’s never too late to start, Keegs. You have people who care about you, and who want to see you happy. Let them in. And as for HOlly, she loves you. Just talk to her. You don’t have to have all the answers right now.”

He sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Maybe you’re right. I just.. I need time to figure this out.”

“That’s far, but don’t shut everyone out while you’re doing it. We’re a team, a family. Lean on us when you need to. You don’t have to carry all of this on your shoulders.”

The lunch ended on a quieter note, a weight still lingering in the air. As Keegan left, you hoped that the conversation had planted a seed, a small opening for him to make things right. You quickly texted Simon, making sure he still didn’t want you to grab anything, and after he answered back a no, you left and headed back to base.

Kas: Thank you for coming. Hang in there Keegs.
Keegs: Thanks for hearing me out. I’ll do better. I think I needed that.
Kas: Shit that might actually be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. Weird
Keegs: I can call you some names if that’s better. Dumbass bitch.
Kas: Oof, yeah that’s better lol.

_______________________

As the week unfolded, Price managed to uncover some crucial information from the doctor’s files and was able to shed some light on Graves’ operations. The pieces of the puzzle slowly fell into place, leading the team toward a potential breakthrough. However, the process was grueling, filled with dead ends and false leads.

One evening, as you sat with Simon on the couch, the weight of the ongoing investigations bearing down on both of you, he turned to you with a thoughtful expression. “You know, love, we can’t keep going on like that. We need a break, a moment to breathe.”

You nodded, understanding the sentiment. “I know. It’s just hard to step away when we’re so close to finding him. But you’re right, we can’t lose ourselves in this. It’s stressing us both out so bad.” And the truth is, it really was. You weren’t fighting, but you weren’t doing much else either. Wake up, work, come home, sleep. Barely talk about anything but Graves and it was wearing you both thin.

“I’ll talk to John. I think we all need a break. Maybe I can talk him into all of us going somewhere.” He says, dragging his fingers through your hair as you rest your head in his lap.

“Oh my God that would actually be so fun, you think everyone would go for it?” you giggle.

“Probably, Johnny and Gaz have been itching for a break. We all have. We could call it team building and Laswell wouldn’t be able to argue.” he jokes. “I’ll figure something out, love.” You tilt your head back and smile at him. “Have I told you today how beautiful you are?”

“Nope,” you say. “Matter of fact you haven’t and I’m beginning to think you’ve grown tired of me.”

Simon reaches down and tickles you and you thrash around, dissolving into giggles while threatening to kill him. He leans leans down and gives you a lingering kiss and you reach up behind his head pulling him in deeper. “I love you,” he says as he pulls away. He takes your hand and fiddles with your ring, something he does often. He stares at it as you hold your hand out in front of you and then he gives you a smile. “I’m a lucky man.”

Chapter Text

“Absolutely not.” Price says as you all sit in his office.

“Oh come onnnnn, Cap,” you argue with him. “We’ve been at this for months, years. We need a break.”

“You all are out of your minds if you think we are going to go take a holiday right now. Out of your bloody minds.” Price shakes his head, “Plus Laswell would never go for it. Not when we’re this close to finding Graves again.”

“Steamin’ Jesus, we’re always close. What is even going on? You haven’t said anythin’ about whatever laptop whoever gave you.” Soap says as you and Simon give each other sideways glances. “How do we even know it’s real? We don’t even know where it came from.”

“We do,” Simon says to him quietly. “I’m the one that got it.”

Price shoots him a glance while Soap and Gaz hang their mouths open and you shift around in your seat. Simon leans back in his chair and rubs a hand over his face. “It’s real.”

“No, mate, how did you?.. When? You’ve been here the whole time, we didn’t run any missions the last few weeks.” Gaz says finally.

“It wasn’t a mission.” Simon goes on. “When Kas went to the States with Holly and I didn’t come into work.. I wasn’t sick. I was in France. Long story short, the doctor is dead, and that’s his laptop.”

“Christ.” Soap says, exchanging looks with Gaz. “Why didn’t you tell us? We would have gone with you.”

“Because I told him not to.” Price speaks up. “We didn’t need more people involved. It was risky as is.”

Everyone goes silent for a bit and you sigh. “We just need a break. How close are we with this?”

“Well, I figured how how he’s running the money. And I’ve been able to track down locations, but it’s vague. They’re all over the place. I’ve been considering that maybe we’ve been going about this the wrong way. Maybe we just need to find him. Not his new operation center. Just him. Kenny was replaced by someone we might be able to get to, a man named Chris Barth, formerly with the US Army. He defected and joined the Shadow Company roughly a year ago. Worked his way up in the ranks, and rubbed shoulders with the leaders. Must’ve worked because he’s now handling things from what we know.” Price sits back and lights a cigar.

“So, what’s the plan then?” Soap asks, breaking the silence that followed Price’s update.

“I say we go after Barth,” Simon suggests. “Hit him where it hurts. If we can get to him, we might be able to force Graves out of his shadows.”

“Agreed,” Gaz adds. “But we need to be smart about it this time. No room for mistakes.”

Price nods in agreement, “We’ll need to go to him. He’s in Moscow right now.”

Moscow. The word hangs in the air, carrying both the sense of urgency and the gravity of it.

“Fucking hell, of course,” Gaz says with a groan. “What about Makarov then? We can’t step foot in Russia with him.”

“I still say we should have killed him when we had the chance Cap.” Soap says, clenching his jaw. “Are we sure we want to mess with him? We’d just be stirring a hornet’s nest if he gets wind we are on his soil.”

Price leans back in his chair, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Makarov is a wildcard, that’s for sure. But if we’re going to get Barth, we have to be willing to face the risks. We need him. If we can bring him back here, we might be able to get some answers from him. I think we should take a page from Graves’ book.”

Gaz grumbles but doesn’t protest further. The reality of the situation settles over the room like a heavy fog. Simon places a hand on your knee under the table and squeezes it. “We’ve dealt with worse. We can handle Makarov if we have to. We need to finish this.”

________________

After a week, everything is in place for the mission. You’ve managed to track Barth’s movements for the last few days and get somewhat of a routine from him. The plan was to ambush him at a small cafe he goes to regularly and bring him back to the base. As the day of departure arrives, the atmosphere is charged with nerves and tension. Last time you went in all together on something like that, you were taken. You sit on the helicopter and a chill runs through you. You shake your head quickly to erase the thought before it can plant anything further in your gut. Price is sitting across from you and notices. He glances between you and Simon and purses his lips. You know he knows what’s your thinking. He’s been holding onto the grief since it happened. Everyone still was. You swallow hard and lean forward, resting your elbows on your knees. You unfasten and refasten your gloves, a nervous habit. Simon, who’s next to you, places a hand on your back and briefly rubs it before fiddling with his gloves too. It’s funny how you’ve picked up each other's habits you think. I small smirk flickers on your face and you sigh. 

Price’s voice cuts through the hum of the helicopter’s engines, “Listen up everyone. This is our shot. We’ve tracked Barth to a cafe in the city and I just got word that he’s there now. We hit fast, we hit hard. We bring him back. No mistakes. We’re dropping in closer, if we wait any longer, we might miss him.”

As he outlines the plan, you all nod in unison, their expressions grim and determined. The helicopter descends, and the cityscape of Moscow comes into view. The anticipation in the air is thick as you swoop in closer and closer to the building on the street. Coming in this close is risky, especially in enemy territory but it’s the fastest option. No risks of running into issues on the way if you just drop in on top of it. The chopper hovers smoothly over the building the cafe is in and everyone stands up grabbing their gear. You re-check the smoke canisters on your belt and ready your weapon. As soon as Simon grabs the rope and you see him rappel down, you quickly follow him. The rope is hot in your hands as you slide down and kick it away from your feet as you land with a thud on the pavement. You hear the rest of your team landing as you quickly set off your smoke canister, concealing your movements. Screams break out as you charge towards the front door and stack up behind Simon. You watch him glance at Soap across the door frame and nod, and with a push, they file in, everyone else following behind. 

The chaos inside the cafe erupts as your team storms in, dropping more smoke inside. The element of surprise is on your side, and the initial shock gives your team a crucial advantage. The rapid pace of the operation unfolds as planned and you know you need to make it to the back of the cafe to cut off the exit. As you force your way through the deep room, you force yourself through tightly packed tables, and some of them tip over. You have to watch your feet so that they don’t trip you up. The patrons and staff are caught off guard, and you quickly grab two of them and push them towards the back of the room, out of harm's way. You turn as you feel something hit your leg and you see a small child crying. You pick her up and hand her to the woman you had you had pulled back and the woman looks at you with wide eyes. “Go!” you point towards the back door and are thankful that she understood what you were trying to say. You quickly grab more people on your way and shove them towards the door as well. In the few seconds you’ve been in, the rest of the team had split up, each of them taking different paths through the tables, searching for Barth. 

“Here!” you hear Gaz shout and you turn around and head back towards the middle of the cafe. Once you get closer you see Simon and Soap grabbing the man’s arms and dragging him out the front of the building and you race after them. You bust outside the front doors behind Price and you see Gaz take the butt of his rifle and knock Barth in his head, knocking him out. Simon and Soap lower him to his knees and Price pulls out a ziptie and wraps it around his wrists. Quickly, Soap gets a harness on him and everyone clips back into the extraction rope and you feel your feet leave the ground. You’re the highest up and you look down at everyone as you climb higher and higher. It’s a risky maneuver in the city but it’s a well-practiced process and you execute it with careful precision.

The cityscape of Moscow sprawls beneath you, a huge metropolis filled with history and secrets. You’d love to come back one day, as a tourist but you know you never will. You’ll never be afforded that luxury of anonymity, not with your history. Your face is known to too many bad people and it seats a deep melancholic feeling into your chest.  As you approach the extraction point, the tension in the air begins to ease. The operation, though intense, has been carried out seamlessly, and it’s a win that you all needed. Up until now, everything you’ve tried against Graves hasn’t worked so this victory is huge. You look down at Simon below you, his expression concealed beneath his hard skull mask but you catch him looking up at you. You give him a thumbs-up nod briefly and he nods back, looking down at Barth dangling unconsciously beneath him. 

The helicopter sets down in a secluded area, away from the prying eyes of the city. Everyone quickly unclips and the chopper makes a loop, finding a spot to land a short distance away. Once you get on, you help Simon cuff Barth to the bracket on the wall and you sit down with a sigh. The rhythmic thud of the chopper blades echos your pulse and the atmosphere in the aircraft is light. Barth, securely restrained, sits surrounded by your elite task force and you exchange glances with everyone. The city fades into the distance behind you and you take off your helmet and run a hand through your hair. 

Upon arrival at the base, you quickly land and usher Barth into a secure holding area. Price coordinates with the intelligence team to set up an interrogation room. The next phase of the operation begins, and the information Barth possesses will hopefully soon be yours.

Chapter Text

It’s been three days since you brought Barth back to base and so far, he hasn’t said a single word. The atmosphere in the interrogation room is thick with tension is Barth remains stubbornly silent. The team has tried nearly every technique and every approach, but the Shadow Company operative appears unfazed. Price, Simon, and the rest of the team have been taking turns, round the clock trying to get him to break. 

In the midst of the stalemate, you find yourself restless. The ongoing silence gnaws at your patience, and you decide to take a different approach. Stepping into the dimly lit room, you pull a chair up in front of Barth and take a seat. There’s a contemplative look in your eyes as you study him. He sits there, chained to a metal chair that’s bolted to the floor. Dried blood streaks down his face from the day before. You take a water bottle, unscrew the cap, and let a little bit trickle down his throat as he greedily lifts his chin up towards it. 

“Chris, we can do this the hard way, or the easy way,” you say, your voice steady. “You’ve seen what my team is capable of. We don’t want to hurt you, we aren’t like you guys, but we will keep going if we have to. However, we’d much rather prefer cooperation. What’s it going to be?”

Barth maintains his silence, his gaze fixed on a point beyond you. You lean back, letting the weight of the moment settle. It’s a gamble, trying to appeal to this rational side. From what you do know of him he used to be an amazing soldier, top of his classes, highly decorated. It baffles you how Graves keeps getting people to turn their backs on their own country and follow him instead. 

“Look I get it. Loyalty to your cause, your comrades. But Graves isn’t worth protecting. He’s using you, just like he used Werner. I’m sure you know how that turned out. You don’t owe him anything. You have a chance to make things right here. Help us stop him, redeem yourself.” you add, a note of sincerity in your tone.

For a moment, Barth’s expression waves, a fleeting glimpse of uncertainty crossing his face. But as quickly as it appeared, it’s replaced by a resolute silence. The room hangs in limbo, the stalemate unbroken. You rise from your seat, acknowledging the limits of diplomacy. As you leave the room, you can’t help but wonder if there’s another angle, another approach that might brack the facade and unravel the secrets Barth is determined to keep hidden. As soon as the door closes behind you, Simon is at your side. He had been watching the entire time through the one-way mirror.

“You alright, love?” he asks after he sees your distraught face.

“Yeah I’m fine, I’m just frustrated. There was a second there, where I thought he just might say something but nope.” you sigh and walk down the hallway, Simon following close behind. You make your way past several groups of people, aware of the stares and whispers. You’re not sure lately if it’s at you, Simon, or both. Every time you turn around you hear more and more wild rumors about the both of you. If you actually had the time to focus on anything but Graves, it would piss you off. 

“I heard she told him she was pregnant to trap him.”

“I heard he’s miserable with her.”

“I heard he has to marry her to keep her here, it’s some deal their captain worked out.”

Each one is more insane than the last. Simon reaches forward and takes your hand in his as you make it outside and spins you to a stop. “Ignore it, darling. People will talk.” He says, his voice low and soothing. “They always do, especially about our team.”

“I know it just seems like it’s way worse after what happened in France.. It’s fine. I’m fine.” you take a deep breath. “I just wish we had something more to go on. This waiting game is driving me mad,” you say, your frustration heavy in your voice.

Simon squeezes your hand, “I know, me too. I told John we should try the serum, we have sex vials of it left over from when I grabbed it from France.”

You think it over for a second, wincing as you remember the pain. “It almost broke me. It would probably get it done though..”

“I’ll talk to him again, I’m just about sick of all this.” he pulls you in for a quick hug and grabs your hand to lead you back inside. You follow him towards Price’s office and when you get there, Soap and Gaz are already inside. 

“This is absolute shite, Cap. We didna bring him ‘ere to give him a holiday. I say we throttle the bastard. Give him everything we’ve got.” Soap says as you take a seat next to him nodding your head.

“I agree, inject the bastard, and let's move on,” Gaz says.

Simon stands behind you with a hand on your shoulder, “It’s time, Captain. We’ve all had it.”

Price sits there for a short while, thinking to himself. He never wanted to lower himself to their level and use that type of method but at the end of the day, he knows he has to fight fire with fire if they want out from under this once and for good.

“Alright. Ghost, grab the stuff. Meet me here in 20.”

_____________________

Twenty minutes later, you’re outside of the holding room with Soap and Gaz, watching through the glass. Soap paces back and forth muttering under his breath and Gaz is sitting down, messing around on his phone absentmindedly like he’s in a waiting room. You sink into the seat next to him and nudge him with your elbow. “Candy crush or sudoku?” you ask him.

“Sudoku,” he grunts out and you take a peek.

“I don’t know how you do that, I don’t have the patience for it,” you say.

“Well it does require a brain, Kas.” he laughs. “Ghost isn’t in here, I can say that, don’t give me that look.”

You smile at him and turn to look through the one-way mirror. Simon and Price are in with Barth trying one last somewhat peaceful attempt at getting him to talk. You watch as Barth sits there, tight-lipped as ever, glaring at them both with a superior gleam in his eyes. He’s ballsy, you’ll give him that. You haven’t seen him break once outside of the fleeting look you got earlier. And even that wasn’t much. Barth looks towards the glass, locking eyes with you and you gasp under your breath. You know he can’t see out but it’s disconcerting. It’s like he can see right through the mirror and you shift in your seat. Simon and Price walk behind his chair and nod at each other and you see Price pull out a small black bag and syringe. You shudder. You know exactly what it holds and what happens next. Soap stops pacing and stands behind your chair. It’s an eerie mirror of what’s happening in the room and you jump when he places his hand on your shoulder. 

“It’s alrigh’ lass. You’re safe in here.” he says, sensing your tension. You offer him a grateful nod and watch as Simon holds down one of Barth’s arms as Price administers the serum. A conflict brews within you between the demands of duty and the human empathy that compels you rot recognize humanity, even in your enemies. It’s a battle you’ve fought before, one that’s left scars on your soul. 

Gaz, still engrossed in his Sudoku, glances up at the scene. “This is always the missy part,” he comments, his voice carrying a hint of resignation.

You nod in agreement, your eyes never leaving the interrogation room. “Yeah, but it’s the only card we have left to play.”

Soap’s grip on your shoulder tightens and you feel him rub his thumb across your shoulder blade. “Breathe, bonnie.”

Agonizing screams cut through the air over the speaker as you’re about to answer. It’s a sound that resonates with the raw intensity of pain, you know it well. Barth’s body convulse as the pain takes hold, stripping away his layers of composure. You watch, a knot forming in your stomach, as Price and Simon, faces stoic and determined, press Barth for information. As the seconds tick by, Barth’s screams echo, a haunting soundtrack to the moral dilemma unfolding. It’s a reminder of the sacrifices made and the lines crossed in the pursuit of justice. You close your eyes for a moment, steeling yourself against the visceral reality of the situation, a brief escape from the haunting sounds that fill the room.

When you open your eyes again, the scene remains unchanged. The struggle continues and the boundary between what's right and wrong blurred but the necessity of the task at hand. The weight of duty presses heavily and you can only hope that he breaks soon and the relentless pursuit can end. Finally, he speaks through his pain.

“GOD, STOP. MAKE IT STOP!” you hear him scream as he writhes in the chair. 

The gut-wrenching plea reverberates in the small room, cutting through the air like a desperate cry for mercy. The primal agony in his voice sends a shiver down your spine. You find yourself clenching your fists in revulsion. Simon and Price look at each other before Price leans down, grabs both arms of the chair, and leans into his face. “Talk.”

“What do you want to know, God what do you want? Please!” Barth whimpers, all of his cockiness and composure evaporated. His voice is now strained and desperate, the sudden change in tone is a total turnaround from the defiant silence he’s held for days. Simon, still standing behind him smirks at Price and looks into the mirror, knowing you’re watching. 

Price maintains a stern expression, unmoved by Barth’s pleas. “We want everything. Graves’ plans, his operations, the whole bloody network. You give us what we want and we just might make the pain stop.”

Barth, visibly shaken, begins to spill pieces of information. The room becomes a state for a twisted exchange, a negotiation of secrets and suffering. As he speaks, the pieces of the puzzle fall into place, painting a clearer picture of Graves’ intricate web of operations.

“He’s back in Belarus. He didn’t figure you’d look there again after what you did.” he grimaces, trying to talk. “He knows where you are, but he doesn’t dare attack the base. He knows where you live. Your houses. Your security. Your cameras, Ghost. He can see it all.”

Your blood runs cold and you hold back vomit. He can see in your house? Oh my GOD.

Chapter Text

The revelation sends shockwaves through both rooms. The very idea that Graves has eyes on your personal lives, your homes, is sickening. Soap’s tight grip on both your shoulders brings you back to the present and you become vaguely aware of your loud, ragged breathing. You try to choke it down but let out a strangled whimper as you watch Simon walk around to face Barth and lean down in his face. 

“What do you mean my cameras?” he asks, his voice low and terrifying.

Barth stutters through his pain, “Not yours, not yours. Your neighbors. He can see you come and go, you and the girl. Kasper. He knows where you live.”

You see Simon visibly relax his shoulders as he stands back up. “Why is he keeping tabs if he’s not planning on attacking the base?” Barth shakes his head back and forth. “Answer me!”

Still wincing in pain, he manages to gasp out.”He enjoys the game, I don’t know for sure.. Watching you squirm, thinking you have a chance. It’s all part of his sick pleasure I think. He hates all of you.”

Simon clenches his jaw, clearly seething with anger. Price, too, absorbs the information with a steely resolve. The realization that Graves has been toying with you all, using your homes and personal lives as pieces on his twisted chessboard, adds a new layer of menace to the already dire situation. 

Soap, unable to contain his anger, mutters a string of curses under his breath. You feel a knot forming in the pit of your stomach. The line between the hunted and the hunter has blurred, and the eerie feeling of being watched settles over you like a suffocating shroud. At least he can’t see in your home. You can’t even imagine how many ways it would have ruined your lives. Seeing Simon’s face? He would never recover. Never.

Price and Simon look at each other and leave the interrogation room. As they walk into the room you’re in, you and Simon lock eyes. You can tell that he’s shaken and you watch him take off his hard skull mask, leaving just the balaclava. “We’re done for now, we need to talk.” 

Price nods, lost in thought and Gaz speaks up. “What do we do? We can’t just sit here knowing Graves has eyes on us.”

Price rubs his temples in frustration. “First, we need to strengthen our security measures. Change routines, Soap I want you to get ahold of the neighbors on their street. Gaz, help him out. We need to have them do something different with their cameras. Whatever it is, you know what to do, we have the equipment, whatever they want.”

Simon leans against the wall, arms crossed, deep in thought. “We also need to keep the pressure on Graves. Find out everything Barth knows. Give him a bit and talk to him again, use the serum if need be.”

You chime in, “And we need to make sure our families are safe. If Graves is watching us, he might use them against us.” you look between Soap and Gaz and they nod.

Price looks at you solemnly, “You’re right. We’ll take measures to ensure their safety, discreetly. No one outside this room should know.”

Soap nods. “What bout the intel about Belarus, that’s where Graves is at again?”

“Seems like it.” Price nods. “We’ll have to act fast. We can’t let him slip away again. Ghost, I want you to lead this one.”

Simon straightens up, determination in his eyes. “I’m ready. We end this.”

_________________

You and the team spend the next two weeks planning attacks on multiple fronts. You’re bringing in Keegan and Holly’s group as well as Kortac to keep Graves occupied and hopefully unable to respond effectively. Price spent a few of the first days double-checking the intel you got from Barth and talking to him more. Everything he had said seemed to check out. Soap and Gaz had taken care of the camera issue with the neighbors but since you first found out about it, you and Simon had been staying on base. He refused to take any chances since Graves already knew where you were living. You’d been busy helping Simon coordinate with both of the other groups and negotiations had been intense. No one could agree on a singular plan and he had butted heads with Colonal Konig several times. You hadn’t had many run-ins with the man but you gathered there was some sort of bad blood between them. Keegan has been trying to smooth things over between the three groups but you were at a stalemate. 

“Bloody Hell, they won’t listen, love,” Simon says as he makes it back to your temporary room on base. He pulls his mask and gloves off as he sits down to unlace his boots. You get up from the bed and smack his hands away, unlacing them for him and pulling them off. You set them beside the desk chair and crawl into his lap.

“I know babe, there has to be a way we can sort this out. What’s the Colonel’s hang-up? Is he still wanting to go in without air support?” you ask him as you run your fingers through his hair.

He sighs and wraps his arms around you, holding you closer. “No I’ve got him convinced of that, now it’s about where to place snipers and who to use. I’d rather have you on the hill but he’s refusing. He says personal relationships shouldn’t be the driving force on strategy but it’s not just that. Not all the way. I don’t want you down there, which you know we discussed, but you’re also the best of the bunch as a sniper. He’s just being difficult. I’ll talk to Price about it tomorrow.”

You lean back, looking into Simon’s eyes. “You know, we can’t control everything. But we can try our best to make it right. If talking to John doesn’t work, maybe we can find another way to convince Konig. It’s about getting the job done and keeping everyone safe right?”

Simon nods, resting his forehead against yours. “Right. I just hate these unnecessary complications. We’re all on the same side, but sometimes it feels like we’re fighting each other more than Graves.”

You run your fingers along his jawline and lean forward to kiss him. “It’ll work out. It always does.” you pull back and give him a sarcastic look and he rolls his eyes before frowning. “We just need to find a compromise that satisfies everyone. And if not, we adapt. We’re good at that.”

He smiles, the warmth returning to his eyes. “You’re right. We’ve been through worse.” 

____________________

The next morning, you are all in a large briefing room with Kortac and the Marines unit. There’s a heated discussion happening around you and you’re vaguely listening. It’s a big pissing contest you have zero interest in. All three sides are taking turns with the proverbial tape measure, trying to prove that their way is best. 

“I agree with Ghost, we need Kas with us on the hill, Colonel. You know she’s good. Your team should be on the ground with Price. Kasper and us can start it off and then you guys strike.” Keegan is pleading. 

“Nein, nein. Teams stay together, das ist lacherlich.” Konig slams his fist down. 

You speak up. “Why is it so crucial that I’m down there with you if I’m better served as sniper support? I’m not understanding the issue here. I’m literally the sniper school instructor, it’s my JOB, Konig.”

He sighs and sits back down, deep in thought. 

“I think this is more about getting your way than it is where I’m stationed,” you say to him, over formalities by now.

He shoots you a glare but it lacks its previous depth. “Fine.” he holds his hands up in surrender. “Do what you want. My team will infiltrate with yours. You’ll be less in the way on the hill. You have a knack for being captured anyway, no? Maybe less danger for you there.”

Simon sits forward and you can tell he’s about to start screaming but you place your hand on his knee under the table and shake your head at him when he glances your way. He sits back, his fists clenching. It’s a win. Albeit a shitty one, it’s what you both wanted regardless of his comments. 

“Alright. Let's do this then. We leave in… two days.” Price says, checking over his laptop again. “Gather your things, meet up on the tarmac at 0500 Wednesday morning.”

Tension in the room subsides as an uneasy compromise is reached. You exchange a glance with Simon, and he nods in acknowledgment. It’s not a perfect solution, but it’s a step forward. Over the next two days, preparations intensify. The base is a hive of activity, with soldiers and operators readying equipment, going through last-minute drills, and ensuring every detail is accounted for. The countdown to the mission weighs on everyone.

The night before the operation, you lay in bed with Simon. The dim light casts shadows on the walls as he holds you. “I hate this,” Simon admits, running his fingers through your hair. “The anticipation. The uncertainty. It’s like waiting for a storm to hit.”

“Really, I always thought you enjoyed this,” you murmur. “You always seem so calm. So ready. So… I don’t know.. Just so excited? Maybe? I can’t find the right word.”

“Maybe before you,” he says beneath his breath. “I’ve just lost the taste for it is all. It’s ok. I think we’ve done what we can, and once this is done, I’ll be alright. We can go back home, and move on with our lives. Get married..” he turns and nuzzles his face into the top of your head and you feel him give you a quick kiss. 

You turn in his arms to face him your fingers gently tracing patterns on his chest. “After this is over, we’ll figure it out. We’ll have a future together, whatever that looks like.”

Simon meets your gaze, his eyes holding so much love in them you blush. Even after months together, you can’t believe just how lucky you are. How devoted he is, how he loves you with his entire self, how unashamed of it he is. It could make you drunk if you let it. He leans in, as you look up at him and he captures your lips in a soft, lingering kiss. The warmth of the moment envelops you both, a quiet affirmation of your future. As you settle back into each other’s arms, the world outside the room fades away, leaving only the two of you and the promise of a future beyond the chaos of the present.

Chapter Text

Your alarm goes off at the same time as Simon’s, and you roll over to throw a hand in the direction the sound is coming from, searching for your phones. You turn both of them off and throw Simon his phone as you sit up in bed, rubbing your face with your hands. The cold laminate flooring feels gross under your bare feet and you instantly miss being at home for the millionth time since you started staying on base again. “Ughhhhh, I slept like shit babe.” you groan as you turn around to look at Simon who’s also struggling. You both tossed and turned all night, if it wasn’t you keeping him up, he was keeping you up.

“Same, love. I’d fancy a cuppa tea right now. Or 12.” he says as he tries sitting up. He gives up and falls backward, pulling you down with him and nuzzling his face into your neck. You roll over towards him and rest your palm on his cheek. Your eyes trace the now familiar scars and lines on his face until you end up meeting his eyes. They’re bloodshot, probably the same as yours, and they lack the usual glimmer of mischief he always has when you’re together. “Come on, we’ll be late, get up.” he jokes as he pulls you closer to him every time you try to sit up. “Get up, Kas. Let’s go.”

“Oh my God Si, stop!” you giggle at him. “You’re a mess babe.” He finally laughs and lets go, letting you get up and head to the bathroom. You brush your teeth quickly and as you spit out the toothpaste you suddenly feel like throwing up. You swallow the spit pooling in your mouth and drop the toothbrush to hang onto the edge of the sink. As you break into a cold sweat you give in and drop down to your knees in front of the toilet. Simon opens the door when he hears you throwing up and rubs your back. “Get out, ugh fuck.” you tell him.

“No, are you ok?” he asks as he gathers your hair behind your head. As soon as you finish you feel better and it passes.

“Yeah, weird. Just came out of nowhere but I’m ok.” you assure him. You don’t feel sick at all, you think to yourself. You wipe the cold sweat off your forehead and stand up to brush your teeth again. Simon watches you with narrowed eyes.

“Are you sure? If you need to stay back, we can manage. I’ll call John.” he says as he stands behind you and rubs your shoulders.

“No, I’m actually fine, I think it’s just nerves.” you tell him. “I’m just ready to get this over with.”

He nods and you finish up and leave the bathroom to get dressed. As you put on your uniform you can hear Simon stepping in the shower. You finish up and peek your head inside, “Hey babe, I’m going to go get something to eat. I’ll meet you in the dining hall ok? I’ll grab your tea.”

“Alright, love, thank you.” you hear him call back and you leave the room. Heading down to the dining room, you run into Soap, Gaz, and Konig.

“Morning losers. And you, Sir.” you add quickly. The last thing you want to do is piss him off today. He gives you a nod that’s barely perceptible underneath the sniper hood he wears all the time.

“Morning, Bonnie. How’d ya sleep?” Soap asks with a grin.

“Like crap, you?” you rely, and Gaz snickers.

“Same here. I’m itching to get this done.” he answers.

“Konig, you ready for this?” you inquire, trying to be inclusive and keep the conversation civil.

“Ja, I’m always ready. I trust you’ll do your part?” Konig’s tone is curt, but you expected nothing less.

“Always do, Colonel.” You nod and follow them to the dining hall. After you grab some food you make Simon’s tea and some extra for yourself. You stand there and wait for the kettle to boil and decide you’ll probably need some extra caffeine and grab a cup of coffee too. As the liquid burns your throat, you close your eyes and think about how the next few hours hopefully go. You can’t ride on the same chopper as Simon and your team since you’re working with Keegan’s group this time. The thought of not being with him eats at you as you finish up the tea and find a seat. Not being able to see if he’s ok is going to be tough, but the plan is solid. As much as you want to be down in the action, you know the mission is better served with you on sniper duty. You stare at a speck on the table until it blurs, running everything over in your head. Only the feeling of Simon’s closeness as he sits down next to you and slides the cup of tea towards himself brings you out of it.

“You ok, love?” he asks, staring at you.

“Yeah.. yeah sorry just lost in thought there. What did you ask me?” you answer, shaking your head clear of your daydreams.

“I asked if you were going to eat, it’s just sitting here.” he says, pointing to your now lukewarm food.

“Oh, yeah. I should, it’s going to be a long day.” you smile at him and take a bite. He squeezes your leg under the table and nods, his eyes reflecting your anxiety. The rest of breakfast passes quietly, no one really saying anything. Not even after Keegan and Holly show up. She just sits down next to you and rests her head on your shoulder. You know things have been going better between her and Keegan thankfully, but everyone is just so stressed out and worn down lately. The room gradually empties and as you stand up, Simon does too, and the both of you make your way towards the hangar. The helicopters are prepped and ready for departure out on the tarmac. The noise of the rotor blades adds to the mounting sense of urgency. Everyone grabs their respective gear and as you start to follow Keegan towards your helicopter, Simon grabs you aside and pulls you behind some pallets. He gives you a quick hug and lifts his mask to kiss your forehead. “Be safe, please.” you say to him and he nods.

“You too. I love you, darling. Keep your head down, watch your back, yeah?” he says, holding your shoulders and looking down at you. You nod at him.

“Same to you, please.” you stand up on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. The both of you walk back out and he glances back at you as you follow him towards the tarmac. You finally get in yours and drop your gear, hooking it to the wall by a strap, and take a seat to put on your headphones. The only two people you really know in there are Keegan and Holly. You never really worked with Marrick or the rest of their team and they all look at you and give you a quick nod, or a smirk. Holly, next to you, leans over and lifts one side of your headphones off.

“Don’t worry, we’ve got this. Ghost will be ok, he’s always ok.” she says and gives you a smile as she drops your headphones back down. You don’t say anything back but you vaguely nod and lean back against the wall. You let your head fall back and you take a deep breath as the chopper lifts off the ground.

The next few hours go by slowly. You keep glancing out the window over at the chopper that your team is on, willing yourself to just teleport over there. The nausea from this morning hasn’t returned and you all but forget about it until Holly leans over and groans. You lift her headphones “What’s wrong??”

“Cramps, they’ve been like this since yesterday. I took some medicine but they’re bad.” she groans, shifting in her seat.

“Oof, I’m sorry. Of course today right?” you roll your eyes. You sit there for a bit, thinking. When is the last time you've had yours? Wasn’t that long ago. You don’t have your phone to check though so you push the thought from your mind.

Finally, you near your drop point. This chopper is stopping a few miles out from the hilltop and you’ll have to hike. The other two are hanging back until you’re in position then dropping your team and Kortac right outside Graves’ base in Belarus. From the last few weeks of research, it looks like they’ve totally rebuilt the steel buildings that had been there before. The last time everyone was here, you had hung back since you were healing from being stabbed. You push the thought of Ghost getting stuck here from your head. It’s nothing like that mission. That mission was covert, this one is a direct assault. Your job was to eliminate anyone outside that you saw. You had orders to take everyone you saw out.

You feel the chopper start to slow and Merrick nods. You unclip yourself and start to grab your gear. Making sure you have all the ammo you need, you sling your sniper rifle over your back and get ready to drop down the ropes. You fist bump Keegan as he grins and he slaps your shoulder as you grab onto the rope and slide down. The wind is deafening until you hit the ground and take off running. You quickly scan your surroundings and throw more smoke down so the rest of them can slide down in safety. Once they’re down, you check your GPS and start heading towards the hill. The sun is setting and it’s gorgeous. Once again, as with many missions, you wish you were here for any other reason than the one you are. You briefly think about Simon, wondering how he’s doing now that they’re no longer in your line of sight but you push it out of your head. Focus, Kas, you tell yourself. He’s fine. He’s FINE.

Chapter Text

The hike up the hill is challenging, and the weight of your gear adds to the strain. The team moves in silence over the rough terrain and the darkness of the night sets in as you climb higher. It takes a while but finally, you get close to your position. Merrick signals to slow down and split up. You break away from the line you’ve been in to quickly sweep the perimeter and make sure everything is safe. Once everyone gets done, you spread out and creep up to the top of the hill. You keep your head down and crawl towards the edge of the short cliff. When you reach the top, you find a suitable vantage point overlooking Graves’ base. It’s eerily quiet, and the distant hum of activity below adds to the tension. It’s the perfect spot, the entire valley opens up beneath you. You can see all the buildings that make up Graves’ compound and it looks eerily similar to the images you watched not entirely too long ago on screens.

You secure your position, unpack your sniper rifle, and scan the surroundings. You feel Holly get set beside you with her spotting scope and you glance over to give her a smile. “You ok?” you ask her.

“Yeah I’m fine, just need to get this done and get back so I can go soak in a bathtub and die,” she says.

“Wonderful.” you laugh and roll your eyes. “I agree though, fuck this.”

You hear Merrick’s voice come into your earpiece. “Alright, let's rock and roll. We have the all-clear. Fire at will.”

You quickly snap into focus and flip up the dust cover on the front of your scope and lean your cheek against the butt of the rifle. You quickly scan the whole area, marking threats in your mind, and then twist the scope to zoom in closer. 

“Target, rooftop main building, right edge,” Holly says.

“Gun up” you reply

“Range 850”

“850, ready.”

“Send it,” Holly says.

You slowly squeeze the trigger, breaking the silence of the now nearly dark evening. Your shot hits its target and you quickly line up for the next before they can realize what’s going on. Holly calls it out and you hit that one too. You begin to hear the other 3 pairs firing their rifles and watch as chaos starts to consume the base. Behind you, you hear the other two helicopters making their way overhead and towards the buildings. You watch as they get close and hover and spot Simon sliding down the ropes. You watch him until he disappears into a cloud of smoke and then he’s gone. Soap, Gaz, and Price follow him down, each disappearing into the smoke. From the other chopper, Konig and his team do the same and soon everyone’s on the ground. You refocus and with Holly you take out targets one by one on the ground, laying down what cover fire you can. It’s dark now and even with night vision, it’s tough to spot shadow company members after all the smoke canisters were dropped. 

As chaos ensues below, you and Holly help provide crucial sniper support, eliminating threats with precision. The night air is filled with the stench of gunpowder and the distant roars of explosions. The assault teams advance, and you maintain your vigil from the hill, picking off enemies with each calculated shot.

The radio crackles to life with sporadic updates. Simon’s voice comes through the earpiece, a steady stream of communication and status reports. The assault is in full swing, and you play a vital role in keeping the Shadow Company at bay. The compound is a maze of confusion, and your sharpshooting skills become a lifeline for the ground teams. The night becomes a canvas of shadows and muzzle flashes, and you navigate it with lethal precision. Holly, by your side, continues to spot targets and together you form a deadly duo. 

Amidst the chaos, a sudden burst of gunfire erupts from a building off to the side. You swiftly adjust your aim, taking out the threat before it can pose a danger. Through the scope, you catch glimpses of Simon and the rest fighting off droves of shadow company members as they file out of each building. They fight back fiercely, never letting themselves get pinned in one spot. Finally, it seems to slow down, fewer men are spewing from the buildings and you watch as Konig and his team move inside one building while your team moves into another. You hold your breath, there’s not a lot you can do for them while they’re inside and you know how tricky it can get. 

You and the rest up on the hill, take out the remaining threats you can see and sit back, keeping a close eye on everything. Then, a sudden radio transmission interrupts the brief silence. “Ghost, we have a problem. Graves is not where we expected.” It’s Konig and a stream of German curses comes through at the end with the sounds of shots. 

“Copy, rendezvous at start.” you hear Simon say and shortly after, you see both teams burst out of the buildings they were in. A chill trickles down your spine. Graves, always elusive and cunning, has managed to outmaneuver your intel. No, you know he was there. Where could he have gone? 

You glance at Holly, “Let me see this real quick.” you tell her as you slide her spotter scope to you quickly and look through. You scan everything and as you’re about to stop, you catch a glint of red lights behind the building and you narrow your eyes. After a few seconds, you figure out that it’s taillights. Someone is trying to leave. “Alpha this is Charlie, theres a vehicle on the move, heading west and leaving the compound. That’s our target. I’m sure of it.” you say through comms, relaying the info to both ground teams.

You head Price comes through first, “Shite! We’re losing him.”

 The urgency in Price’s voice heightens the tension. The sudden revelation that Graves is making a getaway sends a surge of adrenaline through the teams. Simon’s voice breaks through the radio, “Charlie, get ready to cover. We’re in pursuit. Alpha, MOVE!”  

You see them scramble to find a vehicle and then pass the spotting scope back to Holly. “Pull it up, what’s the range?” you ask as you settle your cheek back down onto your rifle and look through your scope. The taillights, now distant red dots, become your primary focus.

“975.”

You make a few adjustments to your scope, quickly doing the math in your head. Your finger hovers over the trigger, and you let out your breath. You take a shot at one of the tires and miss. “Fuck.”

“Miss, 1035 now,” Holly says.

You line up and take another shot and hit. You can see the vehicle pull in the direction of the blown tire and you hear another shot on your left, Keegan hits the other, effectively stopping the vehicle entirely. The extraction choppers fly in overhead, waiting for the ground teams to reassemble. The night air crackles with tension and your heart pounds in your chest, each beat echoing the gravity of the situation. Through the scope, you see three people exit the vehicle and start firing at both ground teams as they come up on them. “He’s engaging! Cover us, Charlie!” Price’s voice says in your ear.

Even before his voice came through you had lined up the men in your sights. You hear Keegan take a shot and watch one drop. It was the one you had lined up on so you quickly switch. You hear another shot on your right and watch as that man too drops. There’s only one left and he ducked in front of the vehicle.

“That’s him, that’s Graves,” Holly says next to you. “Come onnnn. Peek. Peek out you bastard, come on.” She murmurs to herself. 

Your eyes remain fixed on the remaining threat, your finger delicately resting on the trigger. Holly’s whispered encouragement mirrors the collective anticipation, an unspoken prayer for Graves to expose himself.

In the tense stillness, he finally makes a move. A fleeting glimpse of his figure appears as he tries to find cover behind the disabled vehicle. It's the moment you've been waiting for. Without hesitation, you squeeze the trigger, the report of your rifle echoing through the night.

The shot finds its mark, and Graves crumples to the ground. The threat is neutralized, and a wave of relief washes over you. The ground teams move in to secure the area, ensuring the mission's elusive target is finally within their grasp. As the extraction process begins, you maintain your position, scanning the surroundings for any lingering threats. The adrenaline that surges through your veins starts to subside, leaving a mixture of exhaustion and satisfaction in its wake.

The radio crackles with updates, confirming the success of the mission. Graves, the elusive mastermind, is captured. The reality of the moment settles in, and you allow yourself a few seconds of reflection. Simon's voice comes through, a mix of relief and pride evident, "Well done. We got him."

You and Holly get up together and she wraps you in a hug, nearly toppling you. “Yesssss, oh I knew we needed you up here. You should join us, that was so amazing! I’ve been dying to see you in action.” You return Holly’s hug with a grin, the weight lifting off of your shoulders

“Thanks, Holly. Team effort, right?” you say, stepping back and high-fiving her. Merrick and Keegan join you with smiles of their own.

“Nice work, Kas. I’m glad we pushed for you.” Merrick says. “Let’s go.”

As you make your way down the hill to regroup with the rest of the team, the scene below transforms. The one chaotic battlefield is now a secured zone, the shadow company is totally wiped out. The extraction choppers hover above, ready to transport you back to base. The night air feels crisp as Simon approaches you, his familiar grin evident in the crinkles of his eyes in the dim light. “That was incredible, Kas. I knew we could count on you,” he says, wrapping you in a tight embrace. Konig walks up behind him, Graves in tow. He’s seriously injured but you had hit him in the shoulder and besides being in pain, he’ll survive. Konig gives you a quick nod as he walks by, probably the only recognition you’ll get from the man but you’ll take it as a win. You nod back and watch him load up Graves onto his chopper. 

Instead of flying back with Keegan’s team, this time you ride with yours back to base. You quickly load up and take a seat between Simon and Price. Soap and Gaz bump your fist as they take seats opposite you. 

“Steamin’ Jesus, I thought we lost him again. Nice work up there.” Soap says with a grin.

“Thanks, you guys made it easy though, you’re all crazy.” you laugh. “I could hardly keep up, there wasn’t much left for me to do once you got down.”

“I’m glad we finally nailed the bastard,” Gaz says. “I’m fucking SICK of this shit.” He leans back against the wall and runs his hands over his face, making specks of blood streak down it. “I need a cheeseburger, I swear. I was too anxious to eat before.”

Price laughs next to you, “We’ll be back soon, I’m taking the next few days off, you guys too. We need it. I don’t know about you guys but I’m ready for a fucking pint.”

All the boys nod and stretch out and you lean into Simon, letting your head rest on his shoulder. It’s not very comfortable with his vest on but it’ll do, the adrenaline has left your body and you’re dead tired. You close your eyes and eventually fall asleep as the rest of your team talk quietly. You finally feel safe.

Chapter Text

After a few hours, you’re jolted awake by Simon nudging you and you realize you’d been screaming in your sleep. The nightmare is still fresh and you can feel yourself sweating. You take a few deep breaths, gasping for any form of control as the rest of your team look on with worried looks on their faces. Only Simon has ever seen you like this and you’re immediately embarrassed.

“Sorry, just had a bad dream,” you say with a strangled voice and you feel Price patting your back.

“No worries, Bonnie, we all have them.” Soap says and somehow that makes it worse and you burst into tears. 

Simon wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer as you let your emotions flow. The intense mixture of adrenaline, relief, and the echoes of the nightmare are overwhelming. Price hands you something to wipe your face on from the med kit next to him and you try to offer him a small smile. 

“It’s ok, lass. We get it.” Soap reassures, his tone gentle. Gaz nods in understanding next to him, his lips pursed from thoughts of his own trauma. You look down at your lap but not before catching Soap’s confused glance at Simon. You feel him shrug against you. You’ve never done this, never. You’ve cried in front of Simon, sure, but in front of everyone, in the middle of coming back from a mission? No. It makes you want to shrink into the floor of the helicopter and disappear totally. 

Come on, Kasper. Lock it down. Cut the shit. You tell yourself. Why the fuck am I so emotional oh my GOD

As your tears finally subside, Simon brushes a stray strand of hair from your face. “You’re safe, Kas. It’s over,” he murmurs, his voice soothing. His touch helps ground you and you lean your forehead against him and nod. 

“How close are we?” you ask.

“About 30 minutes out.” Price says, checking his watch. 

You twist around to look out the window closest to you and see the very first rays of sun peeking their way up over the horizon. You can kind of see one of the other helicopters behind you but you aren’t sure which one it is. You twist back around and take a deep breath, steeling yourself for the last of the flight back. 

Soon, the chopper touches down, and you gather your things. The morning air is crisp and the base’s lights cast long shadows on the tarmac. Price gives everyone a nod and Simon helps you to your feet. “We’ll debrief in a few hours. Get some rest, everyone.” Price says, his face for once showing the wear and tear of the mission. As you pass by him, he pulls you to the side. “I didn’t have a chance to ask earlier but are you ok? Simon said you were sick yesterday morning.”

“OH.. Yeah, I think so, I don’t know what that was. I’ve just been feeling off I guess. I’m fine though, just tired.” you answer. His mention of it reminds you of the whole thing entirely and you struggle to keep your voice calm. “Thanks, cap, I’ll see you in a few hours.” he pats your back and you jog a bit to catch up with the group. On the way to your building, you meet up with Holly and Keegan’s group and you grab her arm to pull her into the bathroom with you once you get inside.

“Yesss. I need to empty this cup so fucking bad girl. Hold this shit.” she dumps her stuff in your arms and disappears inside a stall. “Jesus Christ it’s a fucking massacre in here.” she half screams and you laugh. “What’s your deal girl? You had a funny look on your face.”

“I haven’t gotten my period. I need to check my phone when I get back to our room but like, it’s been a MINUTE I think,” you tell her as you lean against one of the sinks.

“Shut the fuck up. Shut up, now way. OOOoooo oh my GOD!” She squeals and you hear her flush the toilet. She comes out and bumps you out of the way to wash her hands. “What if.. Stay with me.. What if you ARE. Oh man, what would Ghosty even say?? I bet he’d be thrilled. Oh shit, I can see it now. Him just chasing your kid around, overprotective as fuck. Oof ooo I so want that for you.”

“Fuck sake, slow down!” you laugh. “I don’t know, honestly. I mean obviously, we’ve talked about it but we had kind of agreed it’s a let's talk about it when we aren’t almost dying all the time thing. Could just be stress though.” you shrug. “But I did puke before we left yesterday. I was brushing my teeth and just lost it.”

She grins at you as she grabs some paper towels and gives you a sarcastic look. “Uh huh, stress gives you morning sickness all the time, duh.” she rolls her eyes. “Go get a test.”

“I don’t want to,” you tell her and she sighs. “WHAT?? I don’t want to get my hopes up either way. I don’t even know what to hope for. I’ll give it a week and see.”

“NO. I’ll give you two days. TWO. As your best friend, I need to know this so I can live vicariously through you. It’s your duty to me.” she giggles and takes her stuff back from you. “I need a shower and YOU need to go rest. You look like shit.” she grins at you again and you follow her out. You see Simon and Keegan walking down the hall towards you.

“Christ, there you two are. We turned around and you were gone.” Keegan says with his hands half up in the air. “You ready?” he says to Holly and she gives you a quick hug.

“Yeah just got held up for a minute. Let’s go home, I’m tired. Bye guys.” she waves at you and Simon with Keegan and they walk back towards the exit.

Simon gives you a concerned glance and you offer a reassuring smile, not warning to delve into the details of your bathroom conversation just yet.

“Come on, love, you look dead on your feet,” he says as he puts his hand on your lower back to guide you down the hallway toward your temporary room. When you get there, he opens the door and holds it open for you and you give him a grateful look. The room is dimly lit, and the exhaustion from the mission hangs in the air. You sit down and sigh. With some effort, you half unlace and kick off your boots then strip off your gear, feeling the weight lift with each piece you remove. 

Simon watches you silently while he also takes off his gear, concern etched on his face. “You sure you’re ok, Kas?” he asks, his voice a soft murmur.

“Yeah, just tired. That was a hell of a night.” You walk over and wrap your arms around him, leaning into the warmth of his embrace. “Let’s just get some rest, alright?”

He nods, his hand gently rubbing your back. “Sounds like a plan.”

You settle into bed, the fatigue settling deep into your bones. Simon joins you, and as you both lay there in the quiet, the gravity of the night’s events runs through both of your minds.

“I’m proud of you, you know,” Simon says, breaking the silence. “That was such an amazing shot. Couldn’t have been any better. I think even Konig was impressed.”

You chuckle, saying, “Well I did have some help, it was a team effort.”

He leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Get some sleep, we can talk more later today.” 

As you close your eyes, you bury your face into his chest and breathe him in. Even after a mission, covered in sweat, he smells amazing. He smells like home. Images of the night’s mission dance in your head but only for a short while. In his arms, the exhaustion becomes a welcome embrace, pulling you into the depths of much-needed rest.

______________

You wake hours later to knocking at your door. Simon groans next to you and curses. The knocking persists and he mutters something unintelligible and rubs his eyes. He’s clearly as reluctant as you are to leave the peaceful cocoon of sleep. Another set of knocks, louder this time, prompts him to sit up.

“I’ll get it,” he grumbles, throwing on a shirt and pulling on his mask as he stumbles towards the door. Through half-closed eyes, you watch him open it, your mind still foggy with sleep. The door swings open, and you hear a familiar voice. It’s Keegan.

“Up and at’em lovebirds. Price wants all the teams in the briefing room. Something about the aftermath of last night’s circus.” Keegan announces, a sly grin on his face.

Simon shoots him a half-hearted glare, clearly not in the mood for banter. “We’ll be there in a few, give us a moment would you?”

Keegan nods, adding, “Don’t take too long. We’ve been trying to call you both for a while and Price looks like he’s about to pop a vein.”

With that, he heads down the hall and Simon closes the door, letting out a tired sigh. “Fuck sake.” he sits down on the edge of the bed and rubs your leg over the covers. “Alright, I guess,” he says. 

You groan, slowly sitting up in bed. The events of last night come rushing back, and you take a moment to collect your thoughts. “We better get ready then, we don’t need Price hunting us down.”

He manages a tired chuckle and you both finally get up and get dressed. Simon’s faster and he sneaks into the bathroom before you, quickly using the toilet and brushing his teeth. Once he comes out, he gives you a quick kiss and you feel nausea rolling through your body again. “You ready?” he asks.

You shake your head, “I’ll meet you there. Tell them I’ll just be a minute.” you say quickly and back up. Your face is pale and you can feel your mouth water. Simon looks at you for a moment but you shoo him away and he finally leaves. You race to the bathroom and throw up. “Fuuuuuuck.” you mutter as you sit back and wipe your mouth. The nausea passes and you stand up shakily. You walk over to the sink and look at yourself in the mirror and sigh. “No fucking way. What the hell?” You run the water and splash some on your face, rubbing off some flecks of vomit and you cup your hand to get some in your mouth to spit out. Better skip the toothpaste , you say to yourself and you roll your eyes. 

You finish up and throw your hair into a quick bun, it’ll have to do for the evening. Or night? You realize you have no clue what time or day it even is. You had left your phone on the nightstand before the mission and you go over to grab it and see all of the missed calls Keegan had talked about. It’s just past 8 in the evening. You must have slept all through the entire day. You shove it into your pocket, get your boots on, and head out down the hallway towards the briefing room.

Chapter Text

The familiar atmosphere of the base corridors feels a bit surreal after the events of the previous night. You take a deep breath, trying to shake off the lingering fatigue as you round the last corner. You can see Simon down the hall, waiting for you outside of the door and he raises an eyebrow in question, but you manage a weak smile, dismissing any concerns. He opens the door for you after a moment and follows you inside and you immediately see everyone turn towards you. Price looks like he’s about to explode. Keegan gives you both a glance as you enter, and you can almost hear him mentally saying “Finally.” You roll your eyes at him and take a seat. 

“Nice of you to join us,” Konig says as you take a seat down the table from him. You try your hardest to stifle a shitty look at him and you hear Simon let out a huff as he sits.

Price shoots Konig a look but doesn’t say anything and he continues his pacing. “Alright, now that we’re all here, I want to say thank you to everyone involved for helping to make this happen. Graves has undergone surgery to fix his shoulder and is being held for questioning. This entire operation could not have gone any better. With that being said, this is just the beginning. Konig and I had the opportunity to speak with him after surgery and as it turns out, this is much bigger than we originally thought.”

Konig stands up and clears his throat, interrupting Price. “There are more questions now as to where alliances lie. And I want answers. I demand them.” he says, looking murderous.

Everyone exchanges confused glances as Price and Konig stare each other down across the table. The tension in the room simmers as they lock eyes and the unexpected shift leaves everyone on the edge. Simon glances at you, silently questioning the situation.

Price breaks the silence, addressing Konig with a measured tone, “Colonel, we are working together on this. We will get the answers we need, but it has to be strategic. We can’t rush into this, especially not knowing who we can trust.”

Konig sits back down and nods in reluctant agreement. The friction between the two leaders is evident, and the rest of the teams watch the exchange with cautious eyes.

“Ok, so what Captain? Who is he taking orders from if not himself?” Soap interjects, asking the question everyone wants to hear the answer to. 

Price clears his throat again and pauses. He looks at each team member before sitting down and lighting a cigar. “Shepard.”

A ripple of shock moves through the room and everyone on your team exchanges looks of disbelief. “No fucking way,” you say, your thoughts just falling out of your mouth.

Price takes another long drag from his cigar, the smoke curling around him as he speaks, “Graves mentioned Shepard, but we can’t take his word for gospel. We need to corroborate this information and proceed with caution. If Shepard is involved, it adds a layer of complexity to an already delicate situation.”

Simon leans in, his expression is full of rage. “Shepard’s been in the shadows for a while. If he’s pulling the strings, we need to expose him. But we do have to be smart about it.”

Price nods, “Exactly. We’ll investigate Shepard’s connections and movements. Meanwhile, we maintain out operations as normal. We can’t afford to let this compromise the progress we’ve made. I’ll speak more with Graves and see what else we can come up with.”

The room falls into a heavy silence as the reality of the situation sinks in. The trust within the entire organization is now in question, and the real enemy may be closer than anyone had suspected. Konig sighs and stands up. “You need to lock your team down, figure this out. You are compromised from the inside out and I will not tolerate this.”

“Whoa whoa, hang on there. You canna imply that we knew anythin’ about this shite. Had we known, we’d have been done with this. Months ago.” Soap stands up and half shouts. Price motions for him to sit back down but he doesn’t. “No, ‘m sorry but that is absolute piss. To even SUGGEST we knew, no ‘Sir”. I canna stand for it. I won’t.”

“It’s not better if you didn’t even know then, is it?” Konig challenges back. “How incompetent is this team of yours?”

With that, the rest of the room stands up, shoving their chairs back, some of them so hard they top over. Konig and Price are the only ones sitting at this point and you are consumed with rage as everyone starts shouting over the other. Accusations fly and voices clash in a cacophony of anger and frustration. The unity that once bound the three teams together now teeters on the edge of unraveling. The idea that Shepard, someone you once trusted implicitly, could be involved in this web of deception is almost too much to bear. You take a second, stopping yourself from joining in on the screaming match and you step back, resting your head against the cool wall. You’re lightheaded and dizzy, probably from throwing up and not eating anything for the last 24 hours or more, you assume. As your face starts to burn and you feel sweat prickling everywhere on your body, your mouth starts to water and you reach forward to grab onto Simon. He whips around, startled from being lost in his own rage to see that it’s you and immediately, you see his expression change. You frantically cover your mouth and point to it with the other and after a few seconds, he understands and races to grab you a trash can. As you vomit, the room slowly quiets down and everyone turns to look at you.

“I can’t do it, I can’t do it,” Gaz says as he jumps up and runs out.

“He’s a sympathetic puker.” Soap says and Keegan laughs loudly. 

You look up and see Holly with a smug look on her face and then you turn to Simon. He’s still holding the trash can for you, what you can see of his face through his mask has turned ghostly pale. “Jesus, Kas, are you alright?” he asks in a hushed tone. 

You manage to compose yourself enough to nod, albeit weakly. The embarrassment adds to the discomfort, and you feel the weight of everyone's eyes on you. Holly’s smirk only amplifies the sense of awkwardness, and you shoot her a half-hearted glare between rounds of vomit. 

Soap, ever the one to break the tension with humor, chuckles, “Well, that’s one way to change the subject, Bonnie.”

Gaz returns to the room, looking a bit queasy and mumbles. “Bloody hell, Kas, you could’ve warned us.”

Price clears his throat, attempting to regain some control of the situation. “Alright, that’s enough for now. We’ll investigate Shepard’s involvement and meet again in a few days. Everyone’s dismissed.”

Konig gets up and his huge frame disappears quickly into the hallway. Gaz follows right behind him, clearly still grossed out. Soon, it’s just down to you, Simon, Price, and Holly. She grabs you by the elbow and when Simon starts to protest, she glares at him. “Not today Ghosty, shut it. She’s coming with me.”

She drags you into the hallway and down to the bathrooms around the corner. “Kas, this is it. I’m telling you, you’re pregnant!” she says in a hushed voice, as if the walls might overhear the big secret.

You try to hush her, “Holly, I don’t know that for sure. It could be stress or something.”

She rolls her eyes, “Girl, when was the last time you threw up like that? And the whole period thing, come on. You’ve got to get a test.”

“I don’t want to get my hopes up,” you reply, feeling a mix of emotions from her enthusiasm. Truthfully, you’re scared shitless. This isn’t what you had planned and there’s not much you hate more than things going off the rails.

“Oh come on, we’re going to the store. You’re taking a test, and then we’ll know for sure.” she insists, pulling you toward the exit. 

You run into Simon, who’s been standing by the briefing doorway talking to Price. Holly doesn’t give him a chance to speak and holds her finger up to him. “Zip it tea bags. I’ll have her back later.” You throw a small smile over your shoulder at him as you are dragged by and both of them have the funniest looks on their faces.

“Did she call us tea bags?” you hear Price say and you giggle. You don’t get a chance to hear Simon’s answer, you’re already out the door and heading to Holly’s car. It’s pitch black out and you squint to adjust your eyes and sigh. Holly, on the other hand, is practically skipping.

“This is going to be amazing, Kas. Imagine little Ghosty juniors running around.” she teases, and you can’t help but smile despite yourself.

As you head to the store, you wring your hands in your lap. The possibility of starting a family with Simon, amidst the chaos and uncertainty of your current life, is a daunting but comforting thought. You feel your phone go off and dig it out of your pocket.

Simon: Where did you go?

Kas: Running to the store, do you need anything while we’re there?

Simon: No, what are you going to the store for?

You sigh, “Ugh he wants to know why we’re going to the store. What do I say???” 

“Just tell him I need tampons or something I don’t care. Make it up.” Holly answers with a giggle.

Kas: Holly needs tampons babe. I’ll be back soon. Love you.

Simon: OK, be safe. Love you more.

You sigh and turn your screen off. Holly laughs, “Now, let’s get that test, I’m so ready to know!” She pulls into the parking lot and finds a spot. The two of you enter the store, and Holly practically drags you to the aisle with the pregnancy tests. You pick one up and Holly throws in a box of tampons for good measure.

In the checkout line, she’s practically bouncing on her feet. “Kas, this is exciting! Ghosty is going to be a dad!”

You laugh, “Slow down, let's not get ahead of ourselves. We don’t even know yet.”

She grins, “We’ll find out soon enough.”

As you leave the store, you send Simon a quick text.

Kas: Got what we need. Be back in a bit.

You get back to the car and head to the base. “We’re going to your room, if Ghosty is there, I’m kicking him out. He doesn’t get to know until I do. Wait, do you think he even suspects it??”

“I don’t know.. I doubt it. I mean, he’s not an idiot but I can’t see how that is the first place his mind would jump. I think he thinks I’m just sick or stressed out. Who knows. He keeps giving me funny looks and I don’t know if it's funny-bad or funny-worried. Oh my God, I hope he doesn’t wonder if I am and not want me to be. Surely he would’ve said something.” you answer.

“No, I doubt that. I think he’s going to be excited honestly. Like I know he’s super he-man tough, blah blah, I’ll torture and murder you, BUT he’s softie and you know it. I can just tell, he’s a good one. He’s going to be such a good dad.” Holly says as you pull into the base and find a parking spot. You chew your lip and don’t say anything. She grabs the bag from you and pulls the box out. “Here, take just the sticks, put them in your pocket,” she says and she rips it open and dumps them on your lap.

You giggle, “FINE, oh my God you’re a mess, Holly.” You shove them deep into your pocket and follow her inside. Once you get to your room and unlock the door, you find Simon inside, eating some late dinner.

“Hey babe. OOO I’m starving, I should have grabbed some food,” you tell him as you lean down to plant a kiss in his hair. “What is that?”

“Just something from the kitchens, I snuck in there and grabbed some stuff from dinner since we missed it. Do you want something? I can go grab it for you. You sure you want to eat?..” he asks.

“Yeah, I feel better, that would be amazing. I think I just need to eat something really. It’s been like 2 days.” you sigh as you sit down on the edge of the bed with Holly.

“You need anything, Holly? Wait, why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be home?” he asks her.

“I just want to hang out with Kas. It’s been so hard with you guys staying here,” she answers him with an innocent smile. 

He grabs his balaclava and yanks it on his head then grabs his plate of food and stands, “Alright, I’ll be back in a bit.” he says as he leaves. Holly immediately stands up and drags you to the bathroom and shoves you inside. 

“Go. Pee.” she says as she shuts the door, behind you both.

Chapter Text

As you wait for the results, your mind races with thoughts of what this could mean for you and Simon. The seconds tick by and feel like an eternity, and you take a deep breath to steady yourself. Holly sits up on the counter hiding the test from you, watching the timer on her phone. 

“Come onnnn, let me peek!” you go to grab it from her. 

“No! As a future aunt, I get to know first.” she whacks your arm and blocks you for the 50th time. 

“Oh my God, you’re so annoying.” you roll your eyes.

“I know, and you love me still.” she giggles. The timer goes off and she snatches the test off the counter and her jaw drops. “OH. MY. GOD!!!”

“What!? What?? Let me see!” She hands you the test and your heart skips a beat as you see the result. The reality of the situation sinks in, and a flood of emotions burst out of you. You can hardly believe it. “Oh my GOD!”

“I TOLD you! I TOLD you, Kas!” Holly is practically bouncing off the walls. “Ghosty is going to be a daddy!”

You sit down on the edge of the toilet, shaking. You immediately start running through all the doom scenarios in your mind. What if you lose it? This is the worst possible timing. You’re not even married yet. What if something happens? What about work? What about Graves and now Shepard? What is Simon going to think? You stare blankly at the wall as Holly dances around you until she finally slows down and squats in front of you. 

“Hey.. Hey. It’ll be ok. Whatever you’ve got brewing in that beautiful brain of yours, it will be FINE, Kas.” she says gently.

“What if it’s not though?.. This was just.. Totally unexpected. I’ve been so careful about taking my pills. We haven’t even sat down to plan the wedding. It’s just not what I pictured.” you whisper.

“Ghosty is going to be over the moon. So don’t even worry about that. The rest you can figure out. Have yourself a little shotgun wedding, or wait until after and have a little flower girl or ring bearer, oh my god how fucking adorable would that be?? Whatever happens, whatever you choose, you’re going to be amazing. I just know it.”

You look down at your hand on your stomach and take a deep breath. “I know, you’re right. It’ll be ok.”

“That’s the spirit! Come on, get up. He’ll be back any second with food. You need to EAT, and rest. Are you going to tell him right now??” Holly asks as she grabs your hand to lift you up.

“I don’t know. I’ll think about it. I don’t know how to just yet I think, so don’t say anything.” you tell her. 

“Ok, I won’t. Love you, talk to you in the morning ok?” she hugs you and opens up the door to leave, and runs right into Simon. “Ope, sorry, bye you two, see you tomorrow.”

You wave back and watch Simon close the door behind him with his hip. He sets your food down on the desk. “They didn’t have much but I managed to grab a few things. Are you doing ok, love? That’s twice now that I’ve seen you throw up in 72 hours. Are you sure you want to eat?”

“Actually I’ve thrown up three times in 72 hours. And that probably won't be the last of it.” you sigh. Simon stares at you and you point at the recliner you somehow managed to dig out of the depths of storage when you had to move back onto base. He takes a seat, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. 

“Are you sick? What’s going on?” he asks.

“Umm. Ok. Like.” you sigh and run your hand through your hair. “Ok, I know this is really bad timing, and this isn’t what we talked about, and we haven’t even gotten married yet so I don’t even know how you’ll feel about this-”

“Wait, you’re pregnant?” Simon asks, his jaw dropping.

“You take a deep breath and look into his eyes. “Yep. You guessed it. I… I’m pregnant.”

Simon’s expression changes from concern to a mix of surprise and joy. “Pregnant? Really, Kas?”

You nod, “Yeah, Holly made me take a test just now. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hide anything from you I just wasn’t sure and I wanted to be sure before I even said anything.”

Simon doesn’t say anything for a few moments. Then he stands and walks over to you, wrapping you in a gentle hug. “Kas, this is amazing. We’ll figure it out, fuck the timing. We can handle it. Are you ok though?” He takes a step back and puts his hands on your shoulders. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.. You’re not mad?” you look up at him with tears in your eyes.

He chuckles, “Mad? No. Absolutely not. I’m.. That is… wow.. I love you, Kas.”

“Oh man, I was sweating that. Holy shit,” you tell him between laughing and sobbing at the same time. “Oof my hormones. I’ve never cried this much in my life.”

“I wondered what the deal was on the way back from Belarus. You don’t usually get that emotional but I wasn’t about to say anything, I’m not a total knob.” he laughs and wraps you back up in a hug. “Shhhh, it’s ok. It’ll be ok,” he whispers as he runs his hand over the back of your head. “We’ll figure it out. Come on, eat something, love.”

You lift your head off his chest and give him a deep kiss. “Thank you.”

“No, thank YOU. Now hush, eat. You haven’t had a proper meal in nearly two days so sit. We’ll talk when you’re done.” he says in the bossy way that you’ve grown to love. 

You move over to the desk and start eating while Simon sits down, takes his boots off, and turns on the TV, not really watching it, just playing games on his phone. As you eat, the weight of the revelation begins to settle. Simon glances over at you from time to time, a soft smile on his face. You sit in comfortable silence and as you finish your meal, Simon turns off the TV and looks at you. “Alright, love, talk to me. How are you feeling about all of this?”

You take a deep breath, throwing the empty food container in the trash. “Honestly, I’m a bit overwhelmed. I never thought this would happen now, with everything going on, it’s a lot to process. But.. Seeing your reaction, it makes me feel better. I love you, and I’m glad you’re excited. I wasn’t sure how you’d react.” you bite your lip and look down in your lap.

Simon nods, “I am, I really am. Sure, it’s unexpected, and yes the timing is crazy, but Kas, this is amazing. We’ll figure out the logistics, the plans we had might need some adjustments… But we can handle it.”

“Are you sure you’re ok? We talked about it but I don’t know. I know you had a rough childhood.. Is being a dad something you really want?” you ask him.

He’s quiet for a long time and you let him sit there and think. Finally, he looks up at you. “It is. It’s never been something that I thought I would even be able to do. I never saw any of this coming.. It wasn’t in the cards for a man like me. I guess, if anything, I have a good example of a dad I don’t want to be. I’ll never be like mine. I am happy though. Bloody hell, we’re in for it aren’t we?” he smiles at you. 

You smile back, “I'd say so. But I think we’ll be alright. We’ve faced harder things right?”

Simon chuckles, ‘Absolutely. This will be just fine. Plus, they’re going to be the most protected and safe kid to ever exist with parents like us.” He wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer. “Kas, we’re a team, no matter what.”

Chapter Text

It’s a month later, and to say that things have been chaotic would be an understatement. Simon and you have moved back into your home. There’s no point not staying in it anymore, if Shepard is really the one pulling Graves’ strings, he already knows everything about your lives anyway. Not even Simon could argue against it, and it might be the one thing you’ve agreed on since finding out that you’re pregnant. After the first evening, when you told him, he’s become so distant and cold. You thought maybe at first he just needed time to let everything sink in, but at this point, you don’t even know. He came with you to your first OB/GYN appointment and was nearly mute the entire time. 

In addition to that, things at work have been wild. Price has been chasing his tail around trying to find anything he can to implicate Shepard in all of this. Soap and Gaz have been relentlessly interrogating Graves for more details and getting nowhere. Konig and his group have been up the 141’s asses about everything and pretty much blaming all of you for everything that happened in the last few years. Thankfully, they’re leaving and going back to their own base soon. 

Holly and Keegan seem to be doing a lot better, you’ve spent most of your evenings at their place while Simon works late helping Price search through records. Holly and you have been lazily planning your wedding too. You decided to hold off until after you’ve had the baby, something that you’re not entirely excited about but Simon seems ok with it. Which makes it even worse You spend most of your days wondering if maybe he just wants out. You knew that getting pregnant was going to change things, you just didn't quite expect them to turn out this way. Especially after how accepting he was that first evening. 

Tonight you sit in Holly’s living room watching some TV and absentmindedly looking at Pinterest on your phone.

Simon: Hey, going to be late again tonight.

Kas: Figured, it’s already past 8.

Simon: Shit sorry love. Got caught up in this again. We’re close.

Kas: Ok.

You sigh and throw your phone on the couch. “Let me guess, he’s working late again, as if we didn’t already figure that out,” Holly says., rolling her eyes. You nod and purse your lips together. “I’m sorry. I don’t understand him. He was so excited about everything and now he’s just being a huge dick. You guys sit down and talk yet??”

“No, I don’t want to make it worse. I know he’s under a lot of pressure.. I just don’t know anymore. It’s like we’re strangers and he’s just dropping the ball every chance he gets. Like it’s intentional.” you choke out, holding back tears. You’ve been so on edge and crying at a hair trigger since you’ve gotten pregnant and you hate it. “God, I can’t stop crying at everything! This is so fucking stupid.”

“No, it’s not stupid. You’re hormonal and it's normal Kas. And Ghost is not helping out in any way shape or form, you’re allowed to be upset. Keegan if you ever do that shit to me I’ll fucking murder you. Just so you know.” you watch as she shoots a glare at him across the room as he walks by. 

“Do what??” he mumbles with his mouth full of whatever food he’s carrying on a plate into the room.

“Act like Ghost is right now. OOO Id’ slap the shit out of you man.” she spits at him, concealing a giggle.

He choked on his food, “ I wouldn’t, but to be fair, the man is going through a lot. Work, wedding, baby. Can you blame him?” he says.

“YES, actually we can and we are,” she says back. “Shit’s stupid honestly. I know he had a shit childhood and maybe that’s what this is about but, like, say that then. I don’t get it. He's so fucking in love with you. I know he is.”

You shrug and bury your face further into your sweatshirt, pulling it up over your nose as Keegan glances at you. “This too?? It’s just mac n cheese Kas,” he says with wide eyes.

“Dude, I can’t, the smell. I’m sorry. I’m just going to go home anyways, I’m tired.” you stand up and grab your phone off the couch. “See you guys, I’ll lock the door behind me. Love you. Not you Keegan.” you say as he rolls his eyes and laughs.

“Bye, then you dumb bitch.” he laughs and you grin at him.

“Call us if you need anything ok? Punch Ghost for me too. Love you.” Holly says and she stands up to go sit with Keegan.

You leave, locking up behind you as promised, and thread your house keys through your fingers. Keeping a close eye on the street in the dark you make your way down the sidewalk to your house. You’ve been hypervigilant since moving back home and you hate that you can’t feel safe anywhere. You quickly reach your front door and unlock it as you see a car coming down the street. You glance quickly over your shoulder as it slows down, your heart racing. It pulls into the driveway and you hover on the threshold, squinting in the night, trying to see past the headlights at who it could be. Just as you’re about to bolt inside, you finally realize it’s Simon, you weren’t expecting him. You stand there and watch as he gets out, hitting the lock button on the remote and making the car honk, you jump. 

He comes up to you with a bag in his hand, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, you jumped a foot.” he says and you follow him inside. He throws down his keys and tosses his mask on the entry table next to them. He leans down to kiss you and you turn your cheek, pulling away, still upset with him. “I know. I know, Kas. I don’t want to fight tonight.”

“I thought you were staying at work late?” you ask him, walking off towards the kitchen and taking a seat at the island bar. 

“I was but I decided not to. I know I’ve been gone a lot, and we weren’t getting anywhere tonight,” he says, setting the bag down on the counter. “Have you eaten? Do you want some of this? I stopped and grabbed some fruit for you.”

You sigh, still wanting to be mad at him. “I haven’t but I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat-”

“ I KNOW, Simon.” you cut him off. “I just don’t feel like it.”

He sighs and leans against the counter, his elbows resting on it. “Well, it’s here if you want it. What did you do tonight?”

“After work, I just changed and went to Holly’s,” you tell him.

“I figured. You guys have fun?” he asks.

“I mean, we just sat and watched TV.. Nothing interesting,” you tell him. He stares at you with an unreadable expression, his eyes burning holes into you. Not the same as before though, not with fire, with emptiness. 

“Alright, well, I’m going to go shower. I’ll put this in the fridge for you.” he finally says, pushing off from the counter. He grabs the sack, tosses it into the refrigerator, and kisses the top of your head as he passes by on his way to the bathroom. 

As soon as he’s gone, you break down in tears and sob silently into your hands. This isn’t what you had imagined for yourself. You wipe away the streams of tears and stare at your engagement ring. It seems like so long ago that he’d asked you to marry him. Your heart aches remembering how thoughtful and sweet he had been. Was it something you did? Something you had said that made him this way? 

Eventually, you hear the shower turn off and you half wait for him to come back into the kitchen but he doesn’t. After a few minutes you hear him get into bed, and a few minutes after that, you hear him snoring softly. You take a few deep breaths and get up. You really do need to eat so you grab the fruit he brought home and force a few bites. When you’re done, you put the rest back and head to the couch. You consider crawling into bed with him but since he didn’t even bother to come tell you goodnight, you don’t. You grab your favorite blanket off the arm of a chair, drag it over to the couch, and curl up under it. You’ve got a long day tomorrow and you’ve been so tired lately, hormones, stress, Simon. All of it’s been wearing you down. Price is the only one outside of Simon, Keegan, and Holly that knows you’re pregnant and he’s been trying to get you to slow down a bit with your sniper classes but you refuse. Simon of course agreed with him and acted like he pretty much just wants to keep you locked up at home. There’s no way you could though, you would go crazy not working and trying to maintain some sense of normalcy in your life. To be honest, there’s a sense of pride that goes with it too. Price brought you on to this team to help, not to end up knocked up and at home not contributing. You know he doesn’t feel that way at all but you think it about yourself. Price was actually more excited than you thought he would be when you told him you were pregnant. You even caught sight of a small tear or two after he had hugged you. His voice had been thick with emotion as he congratulated you both and the memory of it brings tears back to your eyes. 

Fuck I need some sleep, knock it off Kas, you think to yourself and you wipe away the millionth tear of the day. After a while, you manage to sleep. Immediately it seems, you slip into a familiar nightmare and fitfully toss and turn in your sleep. You barely remember it in the morning though as you get up and see that Simon has already left for work. You find the note he left on the coffee table for you as soon as you wake and you rub your face and sigh.

Chapter Text

“Oh come on, Bonnie, wha’s the matter?” Soap asks you as you throw yourself down into a seat in the dining hall on base next to him. “You’ve been skulking about for weeks, it’s no like ye, lass.”

“Nothing, bodywash.” you sigh. You look down at your plate, avoiding his stare. Cheeseburger.. Usually your favorite but looking at it sitting there makes your stomach turn and you shove it away with a huff. “God I’m so fucking over this shit, I swear. Everything is gross.”

“Wee babe turning you off food again, yeah? Rascal.” Soap says, watching you closely. “You need to eat, bon.”

“I know MacTavish.” you snip at him. You’re so tired of people telling you to eat. You know you need to and if you could you would.

“Oooof the government name, I’m wounded.” he clutches his chest and pretends to fall over, trying to coax a laugh out of you. It doesn’t work. “Alrigh, alrigh. I’ll stop.” he says as you glare at him. “Where’s Ghost? I hav’na seen ‘im today.”

“Beats me.” you say as you pick up a french fry and pop it into your mouth, chewing quickly and choking it down.

“Ahh, there it is then. Ghost. Wha’s he done now?” he asks with a scowl on his face. 

You watch as he takes a bite of his burger and you crinkle your nose. You hate that it’s gotten so bad that even others are noticing his behavior. “Nothing. He’s done nothing.”

Soap watches as you take another fry and eat it, like he’s politely waiting for you to elaborate further. You don’t. He purses his lips together and looks down at his tray for a bit. You watch as people move about the room, grabbing food, and sitting down with friends. Some tables are loud, arguing back and forth and playing around. Others are quiet, not looking at each other. At one table in particular you notice a usual person is missing from the group and you remember they were KIA a few days ago. You recognize the emotions on their friends' faces and look away, your chest getting tight. You’ve been here nearly 2 years and you’ve watched many people come and go, but it never gets easier. Your thoughts snap back to your table and you realize you missed Soap’s question. “Sorry, what?”

“I asked ye if you were feeling ok, ye look a little green.” he repeats. 

“I’m fine.” you tell him. “Just the usual.”

He raises an eyebrow at you, clearly not convinced by your response. He leans in, lowering his voice. “Look, Bonnie, I might not know exactly what’s going on, but I know something’s off. Ye can talk to me ye know.”

You sigh in frustration. ‘It’s just… everything. Ghost has been... distant, work is chaotic, and being pregnant isn’t exactly a walk in the park. I feel like I’m just losing control of all of it.”

Soap nods in understanding. “Aye, I get it. You need to talk to Ghost. I know he’s a bit of a hard nut, but he cares about ye. Maybe he just needs a kick in the arse to remind him of tha.”

You manage a small smile. “Thanks, bodywash. I appreciate it. I just need to figure out how to handle everything.”

He reaches over and rubs your shoulder, “You’re a tough lass, Bonnie. You’ll figure it out. We really are all here for ye, y’know.”

As you finish your meal, you appreciate Soap’s attempt to offer support, but it makes you feel guilty. You know he had feelings for you at one point and seeing him get so defensive over you always makes you a little uncomfortable. Not towards him, just more of a guilty feeling. In another life, he might have been the safer choice, you think. Less problems, less baggage, lighter personality. You shake your head to get rid of the thought and get angry. You wouldn’t even be thinking about it if it wasn’t for Simon being the way he was and that makes you feel guilty as well. Just as you’re about to get up, you see the man himself come into the dining room. You watch as he grabs a tray, cuts the line, and snakes through people to grab some food. No one dares say anything to him despite the looks some give each other as he does so and you stifle a smirk. Before you were together, you always thought he was just being an ass, now that you know him, you know he doesn’t really think of it that way, he’s just being efficient. The man has zero self-awareness sometimes. 

Simon approaches the table, and you can sense the tension in the air. Soap eyes him for a moment before grunting a greeting. Simon nods in acknowledgment but doesn’t say anything as he takes a seat next to you.

“Ghost,” Soap says, cutting through the silence. “Ye’ve been dodgin’ me for days. Wha’s going on, lad?”

Simon glances at you before turning his attention to Soap. “Busy. We all are.”

“Aye, I can see tha. But it’s more than just being busy, and ye know it.” Soap presses.

You watch the exchange, feeling the weight of unspoken issues hanging in the air. Simon finally sighs, “Look Soap, it’s just a lot right now. We’ve got Shepard breathing down our necks, Graves is playing games, and Price is demanding a lot. I’m stressed, mate. Maybe I’ve not been handling it the best.”

Soap raises an eyebrow, “And what about your Bonnie here? She’s been worried sick.”

Simon glances at you again and you can see the emotion in his eyes. “I know.. I’ve got to keep us safe. We can’t afford to let distractions get in the way.”

Soap leans back in his chair, crossing his arms. “Distractions eh?” his tone dripping with anger. “She’s no a distraction, Ghost, she’s your fiance and part of this team like you, like me. She deserves better than being shut out.”

You remain silent, letting them hash it out and lacking the energy to get involved at the moment. It’s clear that Soap cares deeply about both of you, but he’s not afraid to call out what he sees as a problem. The tension at the table escalates and you can feel the eyes of others in the dining hall flickering between the three of you.

After a moment of silence, Simon nods. “You're right, Soap, I’ll sort it out.”

Soap grunts again, seeming satisfied but you know better. As the conversation between the two of them shifts to lighter topics, you contemplate how to address the underlying problems with Simon. It’s clear there are deeper issues that need to be dealt with for the sake of your relationship and the team. 

After a while, as you and Simon leave the dining hall, he puts a hand on your shoulder. “We need to talk, Kas.” he says, his voice low and serious.

You nod, knowing that the conversation is long overdue. “Tonight, ok? I’ll make some dinner. What time do you think you’ll be home?”

“I’ll cut out early, I’ll text you, love.” he says and gives you a quick kiss on your cheek before you have to part ways in the hall. He’s no doubt heading back to Price’s office and you have one final class to teach today outside on the range. 

As you head to your class, the impending conversation with Simon lingers in your mind. The day seems to drag on, each passing hour bringing you closer to the moment when you’ll have to address the issues between you. Your sniper class goes smoothly, but your thoughts keep drifting back to the state of your relationship and you have to catch yourself from being snippy with the class. Once it’s over, you head back to your office to gather your things. As you check your phone, you see a message from Simon just a few minutes ago.

Simon: Leaving in 30

You take a deep breath, preparing yourself. The drive back to your shared home feels longer than usual and you get more and more antsy by the minute. When you finally get home, you start preparing dinner, hoping that the familiar routine will bring some sense of normalcy to the evening. Simon gets home shortly after you, and after awkwardly saying a quick hello, he runs off to take a quick shower. You find yourself holding back tears as you notice your hand shaking while stirring the pan and you mentally cuss yourself out. You’re so nervous and you have to keep reminding yourself it’s just Simon. There’s no reason to feel this way. But how could you not when everything you’ve wanted in life is about to possibly end? You have no clue where his head has been at and by avoiding this exact talk with him, you feel like you’ve just been delaying the inevitable. Holding on to him by letting him distance himself. It’s pathetic, you know it. 

He finally finishes and comes back to the kitchen just as you’re turning off the stove. “Look at you, right on time babe,” you say and he lets out a small laugh. “How much do you want? I’ll get it,” you tell him as you grab plates out from the cabinet.

“All of it, it smells amazing, Kas, thank you,” he says, leaning back in his chair and watching you dish his plate.

You finish up, get a plate for yourself, and sit next to him. The next 15 minutes pass by awkwardly as you both eat and make small talk. Simon finishes his plate and takes a deep breath, setting down his fork. “Alright. I can’t do this.”

Your stomach drops. “Do what?” you ask, your voice shaking a bit.

“This. Act like nothing is wrong.” He leans back in his chair, studying your face. “I’ve been a right prick to you lately, and I’m sorry. It’s not fair to you, I know it’s not.”

You look down at your plate, swirling the remaining food with your fork. “It’s been hard, Simon. I don’t understand what’s going on with you. You’ve just totally shut me out since I got pregnant. I thought you were excited.” you say, as a tear quietly slips out. You see it land on the plate and mix with the sauce. You watch it, desperate to avoid eye contact with Simon.

“I know. I am. It’s just… everything is piling up. Between Shepard, Graves… I don’t know how to keep you safe. How to keep the babe safe. I’ve been trying to protect us, but I see now that I’ve been pushing you away in the process.” he admits, his expression heavy. “I don’t.. I don’t know how to do this. I love you so much, if anything were to happen to you.. And now a baby too?”

“I love you too, Simon, but the way you’ve been acting, it’s like you want nothing to do with me anymore. We’ve totally drifted apart and I’m scared.”

Simon reaches across the table, taking your hand. “I am sorry, Kas. I truly am. I don’t want to lose you. Either of you. I couldn’t bear it.”

“So what’s the deal then, because this isn’t like you. I feel like you’re choosing the easiest reason to say as an excuse. Not that it’s an excuse, I KNOW that you worry about me and I know it’s tough for you. But this seems like more. We’ve had worse going on and you’ve never acted like this. Not even with the doctor thing.” you ask him, staring him down and he refuses to meet your eyes. You watch as he picks at the few bits of food left on his plate. “You can tell me, Simon, you need to communicate. I’m not going to judge you, you know that. This is killing me. Do you not want this anymore? Is it too much?”

“No, no that’s not it. I.. I’m scared. And I don’t like being scared. What if..” he sighs. “What if I’m a shit father? What if I disappoint him or her? Or hurt them?”

“Oh, Simon.. Is that what this is??” you stand up and walk over to him, draping yourself across his back and wrapping him in your arms. “What makes you think you’d be capable of hurting them? You’re the kindest, most loyal man I’ve ever met.”

You feel him tremble under you but he doesn’t answer right away. 

“You won’t. I know you won’t. Unless you do this shit, because this sucks babe. Like real bad. I hate it. It makes me sad, and I miss you. Please don’t do this.” you tell him, still wrapped around him tightly. You nuzzle your face into the back of his neck. 

“I’m sorry. You know I didn’t have the best upbringing. And you’ve been taken from me once before. I can’t control everything no matter how hard I try to and it’s maddening. You got taken right in front of my eyes, Kas. I failed you then, what if I fail you again? What will my next mistake cost me?”

Chapter Text

“What is that?” you ask Simon as he takes a seat next to you in a meeting room holding a huge gas station cup. You sniff the air and smell something sweet. 

He pulls the cup away from your nose. “Nothing,” he says.

“No. What IS that?” You grab it from him and take a sip while he tries to yank it out of your hands. “I knew it. I KNEW IT.”

“Shut up,” he growls as Soap, Price, and Gaz stare at you. Price was just in the middle of talking about the latest updates on Shepard. 

“Oh my GOD. No fucking way.” you start to laugh and slide it back to him. Before he can grab it, Soap reaches over and takes a long swig, spitting it out shortly after, all over the papers Gaz has in front of him.

“What the absolute SHITE is this, Ghost? Sweet tea?? Fucking hell, lad. It’s DISGUSTING.” Soap says scraping his tongue with his fingers like a child.

“I said shut it,” Simon growls again.

“No, you told her to shut up, not me. That’s foul mate. FOUL.” Soap snarls out. Price and Gaz look on trying to hide their combination of disgust and laughter. 

Price takes a deep breath. “I’m just not even going to get involved in this one. That’s gross, that’s all I’m saying. A traitor to the crown, you are.”

Simon sighs and rolls his eyes, “I’m blaming Kas.”

“Me?? What did I do?? You know I can’t help my cravings. This is all on you babe. Good for you. Welcome to the team.” you giggle at him as you go to steal his drink and he yanks it away. He stands up and backs into the wall as you pout at him. 

“Not sharing. Not after all this. You can get your own.” he snips at you. 

“Fucking hell, this is worse than when the two of you weren’t talking.” Gaz groans out as he tries to rub his sleeve on his now wet papers. “You dick, you could’ve aimed the other way with that nasty shite.”

You laugh but you look down at your hands folded on your growing stomach and think back to when you and Simon almost fell apart. It’s been a few months now, in fact, you’re 19 weeks along and get to go next week for a big sonogram and find out what you are having. Things got a lot better after your talk, the one that seems ages ago now, at dinner that night in your home. Something shifted that night. Simon had spent the rest of the evening helping you clean and then laid with you in bed, telling you all of the previously unspoken horrors of his childhood. He laid bare all the reasons he had talked himself into thinking he would be a shit father. And it had broken your heart to hear it. He’s never a real emotional person, something you’ve really leaned into for strength over the last few months, but he had totally broken down that night. His voice was raw from crying, as he promised that he would cut the bullshit. And he had kept that promise. Literally, overnight he had transformed from the cold, detached man he had been in the weeks before, into the most doting, caring fiance and father-to-be. It’s as if letting all of that past trauma be spoken out loud, to be shared, had helped him heal a bit. It had helped him to realize, out loud, that it hadn’t been his fault and that his choices were his own, not some cosmic, unavoidable repeat of events. In the weeks and months following, right up until now, he had been there every step of the way. Every appointment, every moment, every weird craving at 3 am. His favorite thing to do in your evenings was for you to lay your head in his lap while he rubbed your stomach. Every time the baby kicked his eyes would light up and he’d tell you to hold still. 

“Shhh you’ll scare him and he’ll stop” he’d said one night. 

“How do you know it’s a he?” you rolled your eyes.

“I just know,” he smirked and continued to hold his hand on your belly. 

Price’s voice brings you back to the present. “Kas. You with us?” he asks, annoyed.

Everyone was staring at you and you sputter out, “Yes, God I’m here dad, let's go, what’s up?”

He purses his lips at you but doesn’t say anything about you calling him dad, he gave up long ago. “I think we might have found something tying Shepard to all of this.”

“What? Really?” you sit up straight, suddenly alert.

Price nods, “We’ve been digging through some encrypted files, and we found financial transactions that link Shepard to some shady organizations. It’s not direct evidence, but it’s a start. We’re tracing the money flow and connections, trying to build a stronger case. But I’ve heard rumors that some of these companies are just shells for Graves’ dealings. We just need that final proof.”

Gaz cuts in, “If we can expose Shepard’s dealings, it could weaken his position and give us an advantage. We need to be careful though, one wrong move and this will fall apart. He can’t know what we’re trying to find, it’ll all disappear.”

Soap grimaces, “What about Laswell? Is she still answering to him? He doesn’t suspect anything?”

“If he does, he hasn’t shown any inclination.” Price answers.

You and Simon exchange a glance before he turns and speaks up. “So what now? I say we just go in and take care of the bastard. I’m done with it.”

Price slowly walks around the table, pulls out a chair, and takes a seat. “You know we can’t Ghost. Not at this point. Not that it’s not crossed my mind.’ he says as his eyes soften. “Trust me mate, I want nothing more than to go in there and do it myself, but we can’t risk it. I won't let any of you put yourselves in that position either.”

Simon swears under his breath and looks at you. He takes a sip from his drink and you stifle another giggle, nearly losing it when you see the look of disgust on Gaz’s face. “Alright, if that’s all, I’m out. I’ve got that class to teach-” you check your watch “- in fifteen minutes.” Price nods at you and you push on the table to help yourself stand up with a grunt. 

“Drama, drama…” Soap says with a grin. 

“Shut up bodywash, you’re so fucking annoying.” you shoot him a look.

“I agree,” Simon adds. He opens the door and you follow him out. Once out in the hall, he starts following you, like always. “You hungry?”

You give him a long side eye, “Always.” your appetite had come back full force over the last month.

“I’ll grab you something and bring it out to the range,” he says before he pulls you into his office. “But first…” he grabs you and pulls you in between his legs while he leans against his desk. He runs his hands up your sides before grabbing your face with them and gently kissing you. You have to nearly tip yourself backward to even kiss him, he’s pulled you in so close and you sigh into his mouth. His tongue reaches out for yours as he deepens the kiss and you can taste the sweet tea he was drinking. You giggle and lean back, pulling away. “What??”

“You’re cravings are worse than mine babe. You’ll never live this down you know,” you say as you lean into his chest.

“I can’t believe you outed me, love. Ruthless,” he says as he wraps his arms around you. There’s a knock on the door and he groans as you step back away from him, “Come in.” he grunts out and the door opens. It’s the new medic your team picked up a few weeks ago at Price’s adamant insistence. She’s young, lacking a little in common sense, but nice. “Parker.” 

“Hey girl, what’s up?” you say to her and she stands there looking nervous.

“I needed help with something from Lieutenant Ghost but if you’re free, I rather talk to you,” she says looking at you and you smile at her.

“God I’m not that mean.” Simon looks down at you. “Am I?”

“Absolutely terrifying.” you pat him on his chest and give him a quick kiss. “I’ll see you after my class, don’t forget you drove me today and leave me here again.”

“It was one bloody time.” he laughs “Go on, you’re going to be late.”

You wave and grab the medic, who’s just been standing there watching the two of you nervously. “Come on Eveline, you can hang out with me on the range.”

You and Eveline head outside together, chatting along the way. She seems eager to learn and fit into the team dynamics, and you do your best to make her feel comfortable, you know what it’s like coming here and meeting all the guys. As you reach the range, you find that everything is set up, and your students are already starting to gather. 

The sniper class goes smoothly, and you're in your element, providing guidance and sharing your expertise. Eveline watches attentively, and you can see her absorbing the information. Toward the end of the class, she tentatively approaches you. “Hey so.. I was wondering, I know you’re close with all the guys.. How? How did you get over being nervous? I feel like all I do is stay quiet and I’m scared to ever say anything. They all poke fun at me and then I mess up.” she starts rambling and you giggle.

“Oh honey, don’t let them get to you. They’re just messing with you. Do you want to know how to handle them? Be mean. Don’t let them give you any shit.” you tell her. “You’re doing fine girl. You haven’t messed up once.”

“We haven’t even been on any missions,” she says as she rolls her eyes. You both take a seat on the picnic table outside of the main building and you tip your head back, soaking it in. “You’re just all so.. So.. fearless, you know?”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. We’re all human like everyone else, we just hide it. We do what needs to be done, what others won't.” you tell her, your eyes closed. Something blocks out the light and you open them. Simon is standing there in front of you.

“Sorry it took me so long,” he says, holding out a granola bar towards you. "Soap was busy taking the piss out me about the tea thanks to you."

“Oh, you’re my savior. Thanks, babe,” you tell him as you grab it out of his hand and begin to unwrap it. You take a bite and with a full mouth, you turn back towards Eveline. “See? They’re big softies at heart.”

Eveline laughs, and you can see some of the tension in her shoulders ease. Simon takes a seat next to you on the picnic table, giving her a nod of acknowledgment.

"Listen, Parker, we're a tough bunch, but we're a family. You'll find your groove, and soon enough, you'll be giving us as much grief as we give you," Simon adds, smirking.

Eveline chuckles nervously, "I hope so. It's just a lot to take in, you know? I mean, I've read about you all, seen the reports, but being here... it's different."

You pat her shoulder reassuringly, "It's a unique experience for sure. But you've got skills, and that's why you're here. Just be yourself, and you'll earn their respect. We’re having a get-together this weekend if you want to come, I don’t know if anyone's said anything to you.”

“Yeah, that’d be great, thanks. Just text me the details. Thanks, guys, for talking to me.” she says as she stands up.

“No problem, I’ll see you later. Keep that chin up, go fuck with Gaz or something. He loves pranks.” you wink at her and she walks off laughing.

Chapter Text

Simon was quiet that evening. He couldn’t really put his finger on it but something was off with the new medic on the team. He had questioned Price about it once the day after she had arrived, but Price had given him a “don’t do this again” look and he had dropped it. Not that she wasn’t pleasant, she was very nice, seemed like she knew what she was doing. Maybe a little soft, she didn’t have the years of experience yet to be able to not be intimated by the team, but she knew her stuff. 

“What’s on your mind, babe?” Kas interrupted his thoughts and he looked up from the book he had been trying to read before he zoned out.

“Eveline. I just don’t feel right about her still. It’s just really bothering me.” he said and Kas sighed.

“I mean, usually I agree but she seems nice. I’m just not seeing it. I think you maybe you’re a little protective babe, you know?” she answers as she lays down on the couch, propping her feet up on the arm and laying her head in his lap. 

Simon sets his book down and starts running a hand idly through her hair in thought. She’s probably right, he thinks, maybe he’s just on high alert with the baby coming in a few months. The baby.. What a wild thought, certainly something he never expected for himself. Being a dad had been further off his radar than being a husband was and now here he sits, about to be both. The thought of it fills him with an indescribable warmth. A completeness. Missing puzzle pieces of his soul he didn’t know existed were all in this room just waiting to be nudged into place. His hand drifts down to Kas’s stomach and he waits patiently for a kick. The baby always seems to know when he’s waiting though and he rarely gets to feel him. Cheeky little thing already. Kas’s voice pulls him from his mind. 

“-- I mean, maybe you’re right, maybe she’s up to something, but I just haven’t seen it. Surely Price wouldn’t make a mistake bringing her on. She was vetted by Laswell too.” she says, tilting her head back to look up at him and smile.

“You’re so beautiful darling, you know that?” he says smiling back.

“Don’t change the subject,” she says as she rolls her eyes.

“I’m not, I’m just reminding you. Maybe I’ll talk to Johnny or Gaz tomorrow. See what they think. I know they aren’t huge fans of her either I just haven’t asked why.” Simon says back. “It’s just, sometimes the look on her face, I can’t describe it. It’s like every so often, something slips and I can see it in her eyes.”

“Hmm.. Well, I trust your judgment. If you really think something is off, and I just don’t see it, it doesn’t mean you’re wrong. Baby brain is a thing, trust me I don’t even know my name half the time. Talk to them, just see. I’ll keep a closer eye on her too. Better safe than sorry.” Kas says as he turns on her side and reaches up to pull him down for a kiss. He leans down and drinks her in, savoring every bit of it. 

“Mmmm, I love you, you know.”

______________________________

Sergeant Eveline Parker had never imagined finding herself in a situation like this. The covert mission to infiltrate the Task Force 141 had seemed like an opportunity to prove herself in the world of espionage. Shepard’s promises of power and influence had drawn her in, and now she found herself within the team she was meant to dismantle. Graves had done a shit job, he was an idiot. He had too many too-large ideas and had lost himsef. Shepard had said before she flew out to the base that Graves had lost focus and had warned her to not let him down.

Eveline despised every moment she spent embedded within the task force. The laughter, the camaraderie, the genuine connections between team members - each instance grated on her nerves. Shepard’s orders echo in her mind like a relentless dumbbeat: gather intel, sow discord, destroy from within. 

Her disdain extended to every member of the team. Soap’s brashness, Price’s authority, Gaz’s nonchalant attitude - they all irritated her. A bitter taste lingered in her mouth as she observed Simon, or Ghost as he was known, and his pregnant fiancee Kasper. The affection they displayed sickened her. The protective glint in Simon’s eyes made her stomach turn, and the laughter they shared made her grimace behind their backs. In her eyes, it was all a facade, a weakness she could exploit. 

The afternoon had nearly sent her over the edge. When Simon brought Kas a snack and offered her some friendly advice, it took everything she had to not roll her eyes. Fools, all of them, blindly following orders without questioning the bigger picture. It did nothing but intensify her commitment to Shepard’s cause. The guilt she felt was not for betraying the team, but for enduring their company. The internal conflict she faces is not about loyalty but about how much longer she can feign attempts at playing some scared girl who is trying to fit in. She wasn’t scared of them, she hated them all. 

As she strolled down to her room to prepare her latest report to Shepard, Eveline relished the thought of the impending chaos she would unleash. She reveled in the idea of breaking apart the team she had grown to detest. The mission, to her, was a necessary evil to achieve a greater goal.

Chapter Text

You sit outside on the patio, staring at the fire pit, watching the flames dance around. It’s nearly summer and the days are warm but at night, there’s still a chill so you soak up the heat as you lay down on the swing, your feet in Simon’s lap as he talks with Soap and Gaz. You wiggle your toes and Simon doesn’t even look your way before he grabs them and starts rubbing them, not breaking his conversation and you smile to yourself. Holly and Keegan are cozied up on the other swing, talking to Eveline. You’re glad she decided to come, you know it’s been tough for her to find her footing amongst the close-knit group. It’s tough coming into this team, it seems like yesterday you felt the same. The guys are big softies once you’re in, but if you’re still learning the ropes, they’re easily terrifying. 

The flickering flames cast shadows on your pensive expression as you sit on the swing, lost in thought. Simon’s reservations about Eveline catch up to you and echo in your mind, stirring a sense of caution. The rhythmic sway of the swing feels almost hypnotic, but your mind is far from ease.

You watch Eveline talking with Holly and Keegan, seemingly blending into the group. Yet, Simon’s instincts have proven sharp before, and you can’t shake the feeling that there might be more to her than meets the eye, no matter how badly you don’t want to believe it. All of your years of covert training and work have taught you to be vigilant and to trust your instincts even when everything appears calm on the surface.

You steal a glance at Simon, still engrossed in conversation with Gaz and Soap. His expressions are unreadable, hidden behind the mask he still wears unless it’s just you, Holly, Keegan, or Price that’s around. Hidden as they might be, you know him well enough to sense when something is amiss. The bond you share extends beyond words into a silent understanding. As the night goes on, you find yourself subtly observing Eveline - her mannerisms, her expressions, the way she reacts to certain topics. It’s a delicate dance, one where trust is earned, not freely given. The firelight reflects in your eyes as you weigh the potential threat she may or may not pose to the entire team. You catch a bit of their conversation and your ears perk up.

“What was that?” you suddenly say and everyone looks over at you. “You’re from Florida?” you ask Eveline.

“Yeah, born and raised” she answers as she squirms ever so slightly in her seat. Holly is staring at you with a confused look. You’re almost positive she had told you before that she had grown up in New York.

“Oh, I hear the summers there are brutal,” you say and you feel Simon gently squeeze your foot a few times, he didn’t miss that either.

“For sure, it’s a sweat factory there in mid-August. I can’t stand it. Luckily we were close to the beach, we could just go cool off there.” she continues. 

“That sounds amazing right now. I can’t remember the last time I got to go to the beach and just relax,” you tell her with a smile. You pray that your emotions aren’t showing on your face but since everyone has gone back to their conversations, you guess that they didn’t. Only Holly is still staring at you and you very subtly and quickly shake your head at her and look away. Eveline is picking her nails and looking around at the group so she doesn’t see it and you yawn loudly, digging your heels into Simon’s lap. He takes the cue and sits up, stretching his back and roughly rubbing up and down your legs with one hand. “I’m beat guys, I think it’s time to wrap it up for the night.”

“Already turning into an old man huh?” Soap laughs, but he finishes his drink and motions for Gaz to follow. “We’ll get out of your hair then I guess.” 

“Old man? I’ll show him old man.” Simon mutters under his breath, a playful glint in his eyes. Slowly everyone gets up and makes their way into the kitchen. 

Holly grabs your arm gently “Everything alright?” she whispers as Eveline helps Simon collect the beer cans on the counter and throw them in the recycling. 

You nod, not wanting to raise suspicions, “Just tired, long day.”

Holly raises an eyebrow but doesn’t press further. As everyone finishes cleaning and grabbing their things, you walk towards your front door and exchange glances with Simon along the way. Eveline meets your eye and you see a flicker of some emotion there. It’s a cat-and-mouse game, and you’re unsure of the stakes, but you can feel it in your bones that Simon’s on to something. After her slip-up tonight, you’re willing to bet there’s a lot more to her than she’s letting on. Price is the last out the door after you’ve said goodbye to everyone and as you stand there watching Holly and Keegan walk down the sidewalk to their house, you reach out and touch his arm and jerk your head back towards the inside of the house. ”Hang on, let them leave then come inside, we need to talk to you.” you say so low you’re not sure if he heard but he stiffens up and gives you a quick nod. As soon as Gas and Soap have pulled away with Eveline to go back to the base, Price comes back in and you shut the door behind him.

“Everything ok, Kas? What’s going on?” he asks you with a worried look on his face.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing like that. Come on, sit down, my back is killing me.” you tell him, and after walking to the kitchen you both take a seat. Simon pulls his mask off and tosses it to the side and starts to finish cleaning up the counters. “Ok. So. I know Simon said something to you..”

Price takes a seat, his expression serious. “Yes, he did. He’s concerned, and given the circumstances, I’m starting to be as well. What did you hear tonight, I noticed you perked up.”

You take a deep breath, glancing at Simon who’s still focused on wiping the island down. “Eveline slipped up tonight. Mentioned she’s from Florida. The problem is, I’m almost one hundred percent sure she told me she grew up in New York. Now, I might not have the best memory, but that’s a pretty large inconsistency.”

Price leans back, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Inconsistencies like that can be significant. We can’t afford to have someone on the team with hidden motives, especially considering our current situation.. What’s your thoughts, Simon?”

He stops cleaning and turns to face Price. “I’ve got a bad feeling about her. There’s more to this than she’s letting on. It’s not just the Florida, New York thing, I’ve noticed others. At first, I thought she was just trying to fit in but I don’t think that’s it.”

Price nods, his gaze shifting between you and Simon. “Alright, we need to dig deeper. Keep an eye on her, discreetly of course. If there’s anything else, let me know, but we have to be careful. If she is some type of mole, we can’t tip our hand.”

“Who would she even be gathering information for?” you ask.

“I don’t think she’s gathering information. I think she’s meant to throw us off a scent if you know what I mean.” Simon says simply. “I’d be willing to bet that Shepard is behind this. Even if she was vetted by Laswell, it doesn’t mean her books weren’t cooked before we got to them.”

You nod and look at Price as he sits there staring at something past Simon. “Possibly.. What about Gaz and Soap? Have they seen anything?” he asks.

“They’ve both expressed that something isn’t quite right with her but nothing solid,” Simon answers. 

Price leans forward, his elbows resting on the island, and rubs his temples, deep in thought. “We can’t make any hasty moves. It’s crucial that we proceed cautiously. If she’s indeed working for Shepard, we don’t want to tip him off. At the same time, we can’t afford to ignore the signs. Just keep an eye on her and report directly to me.”

Simon grunts in agreement. “I’ll keep a close watch. If she’s playing games, she won’t get far.”

You chime in, “I’ll do the same. We just need to be subtle about it. The last thing we want is to create tension within the team without concrete evidence.”

Price nods, “Agreed. We’ve dealt with internal threats before, but this one hits close to home. We can’t let it jeopardize the team in any way. I’ll also see if we can check her background again, just to be sure. For now, keep this between us. If she catches wind that we’re on to her, it could complicate things.”

“Alright, I do think we need to be careful about updating everyone. What if she’s just reporting right back to him and telling him what we know? He’d be able to immediately cover things up.” you say, standing up and stretching your back out. You rub a hand over your stomach absentmindedly. “That’s the last thing we need. This whole thing needs to end.”

Price stands up, “Let me think on it, I’ll just see you two on Monday. Maybe there’s a way we can figure it out faster without having to dig further.. Anyways, thanks for having us over tonight. Kas, you look amazing, Simon, you better take care of her.” he says as he walks towards the front door. You roll your eyes, give him a quick hug and watch him leave.

Chapter Text

Eveline paces in her barracks room after getting back from Ghost’s and Kas’s house. HOUSE, she thinks to herself. Must be nice. She rolls her eyes and continues pacing, wringing her hands. She could tell that Kas picked up on the one mistake she’s made since being placed with the team. Her mind races as she replays the evening’s events, dissecting every interaction with meticulous detail. The slip-up weighs heavily on her conscience, a glaring reminder of the delicate balance she must maintain. Her pacing grows more frantic, as she tries to plan how to fix it. I mean, I could just tell them I had family in New York I visited a lot. But if I bring it up they’ll know. Fuck

She undresses and starts the shower as her phone rings. With a glance she recognizes the unsaved number flashing on her phone, Shepard. After a few seconds, she decides to ignore it and steps into the burning hot shower, sinking to the floor. She runs her hands through her hair as it soaks through with water and lets her head hang between her legs, the water tickling her nose as drips down onto the shower floor. She watches it swirl down the drain, mixing with her tears that she barely registers as falling. With a shuddering breath, she leans back, turning her face towards the oncoming stream of water, and begs it to wash away her anxiety. I can’t fuck this up, I can’t. They’ll never let me live. Maybe neither side.

_______________________

The next few weeks pass by like molasses. After the night of the party where Eveline slipped up, Kas paid extra attention to everything the medic did. Much to Simon’s displeasure, she spent as much time as she could with her, grabbing her for lunch as much as possible, and asking her to hang out during her sniper classes. For the most part, she never picked up on anything amiss. Work was slow, Simon had been working diligently with Price trying to decipher the financial trail and getting nowhere. Every time they followed a part of it, it led to nothing. Even the connections Price had noted before didn’t make sense anymore. Whether it was a mistake on Price’s part to even make the connection or someone had changed things in the file, no one could tell. 

“Fucking hell!” Simon shouted one afternoon in his office. You had been sitting across from him, legs crossed up on his desk, your lunch balance on your stomach. 

“What?” you ask, stabbing your fork into your salad. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s GONE, Kas, the file, I was opening it and it was there and now it’s just. Not,” he says as he slams his laptop closed and shoves away from his desk. “I’m sick of this shite. We know it’s him. We KNOW it Kas. And we’ve just been sitting here for months trying to catch him on paper and we can’t. We just can’t. We need to do something. I can’t keep sitting here, day after day, coming through all of this bullshit, and then what, it’s just gone? I’m done. I’m fucking done.”

Your eyes widen as he stands up and roughly runs his hands through his hair. “What do you mean it’s gone? Did you back it up?”

“No, of course I didn’t. Because that’s just our luck. All of it isn’t even there. The icon, whatever, it’s gone.” he waves his hand at his laptop, his face getting more and more red. “Fuck this. It’s Shepard, I know it, you know it, Price knows it. And that bitch Eveline, has something to do with this too and I hate that you’re around her so much. I don’t trust her as far as I can throw her. I’m out. Either we just take him down, or I’m out.” he huffs out a long breath and throws his head back towards the ceiling. “I can’t have you in danger. Or Soap, or Gaz. I’m tired of this game love. Just tired of it.”

“I know. I’m sorry, I know you guys have been working hard. I’m tired of having to be the one’s following the rules too babe. You know as well as I do though that it’s not that simple, we can’t just be done. I’d love to just walk away from this all but we can’t. Not until we take down the whole fucking thing and everyone involved. So let's do it. Let’s go to Price and talk to him again maybe.” You set your food on the desk and stand up. After walking around the desk, you tuck yourself into Simon’s side as he throws an arm around you and sighs. “I think you’re right though. I’m done with it too. Playing double agent to a possible double agent, the lies, the mindless information gathering. We haven’t gotten any closer to the truth.”

Simon rubs your back and pulls out his phone, quickly texting Price. After a few moments it buzzes after glancing at it, he grabs his mask off of his desk. “He’s in his office, lets go.”