Chapter Text
Sky gave Phayu and Prapai the slip about thirty seconds into the race when Rain pulled ahead too far for the cameras to watch both at once. He needed air. There were too many people.
Sky pushed his way out of the majority of the crowd unnoticed but a painfully familiar voice piped up, "Sky Ayutthaya as I live and breathe!"
Sky stopped dead in his tracks heart in his throat. "Cam." Sky watched him like a deer in the headlights.
Cam was just extra as Sky remembered him. But, at least, Cam is safe. Not dangerous. He doesn't know. He didn't know.
"I haven't seen you in awhile kid! I thought you got sick of this place." Cam ruffled Sky's hair and Sky jerked back unsteadily. Cam.
First Star now Cam.
"I-" Sky didn't know what to say. He had to get out he just had to get out. He couldn’t be here. He couldn’t be so close to him.
He felt like he was just out of arms reach of all the demons he kept hidden away and they were slowly creeping up on him. He had to get some distance. He had to put space between himself and all the things, people, memories that were grasping at him.
"So if you're here..." Cam frowned and looked around. "Did you give Gun the slip or something? You know he hates that."
You know he hates that.
You know how he is.
Excuses. Excuses. Excuses.
Sky full body flinched. He had to swallow down bile as his stomach churned. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. He had to get out. Cam wasn't dangerous but he was friends with Gun. Cam wasn't a bad person but he was oblivious. He didn't see, never saw, what Gun was doing and he would tell the bastard Sky was here if he saw him because he didn't know.
Because no one could ever know. Sky could never tell them because they shouldn’t be involved. Because Gun wouldn’t touch them as long as-
"Woah, it's okay, you're going to be okay. Come on let's get you some water. Breathe Sky-bird." Cam soothed. "It's fine. I'm sure he won't be too upset, you can't exactly be pinned down."
Sky resisted the urge to slap a hand over his mouth and sob. God, this was so wrong. He couldn’t be here. Shouldn’t be here. Fuck, he felt sick. "I'm not here with Gun."
Just saying his name made Sky feel dirty. Oily.
Sky’s skin burned.
"Oh." Cam stopped for a moment in his efforts to lead Sky away from the crowd, but he continued a moment later like he had reminded himself to just keep moving. "Why?"
"We broke up." Sky said blandly. He choked down all the feelings he had swirling in his throat and replaced it all the with blankness he had in him.
It was a lot.
Sky was too broken.
All the feelings leaked out of the cracks and just left him empty.
Sky could be empty.
Sky could live with empty.
"Wow, I'm so sorry." Cam breathed. "What happened?"
Sky shrugged. It was better to let Cam's imagination run with it. Anything was better than the truth. A fight maybe, or even an amicable agreement. Whatever. It didn't matter.
"Okay, then I guess that explains a lot—here have a water bottle—I'm sorry Sky, breakups are... breakups are hard. I doubt you wanna talk, but if you do I'll listen." Cam told him, bumping his shoulder lightly.
Sky shook his head as he sipped the water. Cam nodded in understanding and and looked out towards the crowd of people.
"I'll definitely make sure I don't mention I saw you to Gun then. No need to start that awkward conversation." Cam winced.
Sky felt some of the tension release immediately. "Thanks."
"Of course." Cam shrugged. "We like you around here anyways. I'm sure the others would be glad to see you around sometime even if we don't invite Gun."
Sky appreciated the offer, but he would not be taking them up on it. It was far too close to the things he wanted to keep hidden. He couldn't be sure everyone was on his side. It was too dangerous.
"Did you run into Star?" Cam asked. "She's here with her boy, Alex? Art is here with them too!"
Sky's blood ran ice cold. "I have to go."
Cam blinked at him. "Is everything okay?"
"Sky!"
Sky bolted to his feet and looked over, dreading seeing someone who knew him. He prepared to run but he didn't even get the chance because an arm was slung over his shoulder. Sky started to scrambled away when the distinct smell of some fancy cologne tickled at his nose.
Sky latched onto it because he knew that smell. No one he'd known before used that sort of thing. Sky looked to his side a little wildly to place who exactly it was. Sky didn't quite relax when he recognized Prapai's big eyes and smile that just so warm warm warm.
Prapai smiled at him for a moment, before turning to Cam. His smile never dipped into unfriendly but his eyes lost some of the warmth. Sky held himself rigidly still, watching Cam and trying to pretend Prapai wasn't there.
"Oh! Prapai!" Cam greeted. "Wow, I didn't know you knew our Sky,"
Prapai gave a polite nod and said, "If you don't mind me stealing him away, we should get back."
Cam smiled. "Of course, sorry for keeping him."
"No problem at all." Prapai told her and he pulled Sky along as they walked back into the crowd.
"Are you okay?" Prapai asked quietly. “You know Cam?”
Sky felt like his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. He nodded but Prapai didn't seem to but it even a little.
"Sky?"
Sky shook his head and stepped out from under Prapai's arm, arms crossed protectively. Sky was obviously suspicious of Prapai, and maybe he was even a little justified, because their first meeting was a little... much. But Prapai didn't know how to get across that he genuinely just wanted to help right now.
But Pai could see that Sky had completely shut down. He wouldn't be able to help no matter how frustrated it made him. But he was weak, especially when he felt helpless. He needed to try.
"Sky, are you okay?" Prapai asked gently. You seem so scared, he didn’t say, you’re eyes are crying for help.
Sky just shook his head again, refusing to look at him. Sky started walking into the crowd and Prapai was forced to follow him lest he lose Sky in the mass of people. Rain's eyes landed on Sky almost immediately, helmet under his arm and concern etched into his brow.
Rain shoved the helmet at Phayu and met Sky and Prapai halfway.
"You know, when I said, 'Keep Sky safe' and I come back from my race to Phayu telling me you lost him," Rain started glaring at Prapai.
Pai put his hands up in surrender. "I know, I know. He's a lot sneakier than you, I didn't expect him to become a little ninja."
Rain turned to Sky, grabbing his wrist carefully. "Sky, are you okay?"
Sky opened his mouth to respond before just shaking his head. Rain's face pinched tighter in concern for his friend. What happened to him? Did he run into his ex? His ex might be here right? Sky said his ex had told him about this circuit to begin with.
"You should go home." Rain bit the inside of his lower lip as he fretted.
"I'll take him." Prapai offered immediately.
Rain scanned Prapai considering whether he could be trusted right now or not, before giving a short nod and going back to Sky. Rain searched for any sign that he shouldn't let Prapai take Sky back to the dorms. He almost hoped there would be something, just so he wouldn't have to let his friend out of his sight.
Sky didn't show a single twitch of expression, and that alone might've been enough for Rain to deny Prapai. But Rain could tell Sky needed to get out of there. He had to get out of the Circuit now. Rain gave one nod and Prapai nodded back. The man carefully led Sky along through the throng of people and back towards the cars.
Sky didn't say a word.
____________________
Sky didn’t talk on the way there, he even let Prapai follow him up to the rooms, but Sky finally forced out some words when Prapai attempted to enter into Sky’s space.
"No. Leave me alone." Sky scowled at Prapai as he tried to walk into the dorm. Sky held his arm across the door and didn't let him through.
Prapai sighed like he thought Sky was being particularly unreasonable. It might've made him uncomfortable if it seemed at all sincere. But like most things Prapai said, it seemed joking, fond almost. "Why must you be so cruel to me?"
Sky didn't budge. "I don't know what game you think we're playing. But there is only one outcome to this. You have been rejected. Take it and leave."
Prapai shook his head, chuckling. "You may think that now, but you must know I'm not just going to give up like that."
Sky rolled his eyes. "Go away.” He tried to close the door, but Prapai put his foot in the door and pushed it back open some.
"Come on, I couldn't be the only one thinking of the other constantly since that night, right?" Prapai asked eyes wide and inquisitive. “You left so suddenly I hadn’t even caught you’re name at the time. But you were so-“
Sky pulled back and gave him a flat stare. Prapai cut himself off with a little amused look. Fuck him. Fuck this. Fuck everything.
Because truthfully, Sky had been thinking about it. But not the way Prapai was thinking or hoping. He'd felt so wrong for months. He hated the way it made him feel, giving in like that. Sleeping with Prapai might've been fun, back when he was in highschool, when it was fun. When everything was so much easier. When he didn't need anything from the other person to feel okay with having sex.
But now it just...
It wasn't easy anymore.
He needed to know he was safe and people like Prapai weren't safe. Even if he was looking for a partner, which he absolutely wasn’t because just… no. Guys like Prapai didn't do commitment and dating. They were Saturday nights and gone come Sunday morning and Sky couldn't, wouldn't do that to himself. Not anymore.
He couldn't give Prapai what he wanted and once the man finally realized that, he'd leave.
The first step to a very bad situation was letting him in the door.
Sky knew that. Sky had lived that. Letting them in was always the first very bad step.
"Sky?" Prapai asked softly. "Are you okay?"
Sky blinked and looked at him again, actually focusing on his face. "You should go. Good bye. Drive safe."
Sky closed the door in his face and locked it quickly. He breathed in once. And breathed again. He kept breathing.
Eventually the wrong would go away.
Everything did.
It was okay.
He would be okay.
__________________
Rain turned to Phayu with sharp eyes that looked so uncharacteristic on his face. "You know Prapai. Is Sky safe with him?"
Phayu hesitated for a moment but nodding. "Prapai is... not the best choice for Sky. But he isn't a bad person and he wouldn't hurt Sky. He wouldn't ever."
Rain still didn't seem convinced so Phayu pulled him in close looking him in the eyes. "Prapai is a... player definitely."
"He's a manwhore." Rain deadpanned.
"Yes..." Phayu admitted. "He sleeps with whoever suits him and doesn't really commit. But," he looked right into Rain's eyes. "He doesn't hurt people. Well, he's straightforward about his intentions and doesn't make promises he won't or can't keep."
Rain breathed a deep grounding breath. "Sky can handle him."
Phayu hummed. Rain relaxed in his hold. "Okay. I can live with that for now.”
___________________
I love you.
Sky,
This is love.
Sky.
Sky.
Sky.
_________________
“Leave me alone,” Sky said under his breath, head leaned against the doorframe, towel around his neck.
“Just leave me the hell alone.”