Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Victor’s job had him traveling all over the world for shoots. That is how he found himself in Detroit, Michigan. Not a luxurious city in his posh opinion, but it was an up and growing metropolis that happened to be the location of the new clothing company that had pretty much begged him to model for them. Victor liked the money, but he wasn’t stuck up about it. He took the job with little hesitation, hoping to get a change of scenery to clear his clouded mind and soothe his aching heart.

The truth was, Victor was lonely. A life in the spotlight left a long line of people who wanted Victor Nikiforov, People’s 2014 ‘Sexiest Man Alive,’ but not Victor Nikiforov, dramatic dog dad. His large apartment housing only him and his brown poodle Makkachin. Their only company the occasional men Victor brought home when the ache was too deep to ignore. They never helped so he gave up.

The one good thing about traveling for shoots, is that more often than not his, technical, rival, but actual, best friend, Christophe Giacometti attended as well. Victor had tried that route too, determining that despite the fun they had, the pair was better as friends. 

The shoot went extraordinarily well, as they typically did. Victor made himself easy to work with, never making crazy demands and bending himself to any and all work hours. It was part of his appeal, those most people thought it was just an act.

To celebrate, Chris took him out on the town. Victor loved this part of the shoots the most. He loved the atmosphere of the clubs. The drinks were always good, the music too loud for him to think, and the warmth of bodies around him to make him forget he would always end the night alone. He never thought to think otherwise anymore. This was how it was.

Until it wasn’t.

Victor had seen the man enter the bar, just briefly as he casually surveyed the room, and while he was a beautiful man, Victor hadn’t paid him any attention other than the quick glance, and he probably wouldn’t have if not for the fact that an hour later the same man, blushed and disheveled was asking him to dance. More specifically to dance off. 

Victor obliged with a hearty laugh. He had never been challenged to a dance off before. The man’s friend and Chris posted up as “judges” but really they were the unofficial camera men. Their dance-off started off a serious affair, but by the end they found themselves just dancing together, and Victor’s heart soared in a way he had never felt before. At some point the four of them found themselves traversing the Detroit streets in search of a food truck that the man, who Victor now knew as Yuuri, had sworn on. 

Chris and Yuuri’s friend, Phichit, had taken up the lead, Phichit a much better guide than Yuuri in his inebriated state, and Chris was playing matchmaker. This left Victor trailing behind with Yuuri, the two of them making casual conversation, though sometimes Yuuri made absolutely no sense. 

With food in their hands, the four of them posted up on a concrete divider to eat. The alcohol and food was finally settling in Yuuri and he slumped against Victor’s side. Victor didn’t miss the shiver in the other man, and without even thinking, Victor slipped off the soft knit sweater he had brought along for the walk back to their hotel. Yuuri mumbled a soft thank you in what Victor assumed must have been his native language and he nuzzled down into the warmth of the sweater. In his drunken haze, Yuuri mumbled something, but Victor couldn’t catch it.

“What was that?”

“Come back.”

“I haven’t gone anywhere,” Victor said with a laugh. The alcohol had worn off him about 20 minutes into their trip.

“No,” Yuuri shook his head. “To Detroit.”

“Oh?”

Nothing else was spoken after that but Victor wondered if Yuuri could feel his heart racing.

Shortly after, Chris and Phichit suggested they head in for the night since they both had flights to catch in the morning and Phichit agreed when he saw Yuuri’s drowsy state. They waited together for Phichit and Yuuri’s taxi before Chris and Victor walked in silence back to their room. Victor’s mind replaying Yuuri’s request. He knew it was silly to hold on to a drunk man’s words but he had exchanged Instagram accounts with Yuuri (even though Victor’s was public and verified) and he hoped to at the very least hear back from him in a few days.

Victor didn’t hear back though. He considered reaching out himself a few times, but he had assumed if Yuuri wanted to, he would have, so instead he tried (and failed) to just forget about the night. He tried his best to relegate it to just another fun night with someone who thought he was attractive and that’s all.

Victor’s loneliness only became more evident after that, and if he had it in him he would have cursed Yuuri for giving him something to want. Before he had accepted the fact he was alone but now all he could think about was his eyes, his hands, his smile, his hips, his laugh. His only supplement for the missing piece was the videos on his phone and the 4 photos on Instagram with his face in them. If Victor had more shame, he might have been embarrassed at the fact he had post notifications turned on for Yuuri’s very inactive account, until he posted.

It was about four months since they had seen each other and though Yuuri still existed in the back of Victor’s mind when he found nothing else to think about, Victor had done pretty well moving on. It did him no good to hang on to someone who didn’t want anything to do with him. Except in Yuuri’s newest post he sat in comfortable clothes surrounded by snacks and old DVDs in Victor’s sweater. The photo had obviously been taken by his photographer friend, but Yuuri still smiled that smile Victor had adored so much. The caption read, “Movie night with Phichit before I head back home <3”

Victor felt like he was losing it. The rational part of him knew this was just an Instagram post, there was no reason to read into it, but the hopelessly romantic part of him screamed that this was Yuuri calling out to him. Yuuri had told him the exact name and location of his home, he had mentioned how we would be visiting late spring, how Victor would absolutely love the Cherry Blossoms that time of year, and he was wearing Victor’s sweater.

With no one to talk him down, Victor decided to buy a ticket to Japan. His thinking was he could stay at the inn for a few nights. If Yuuri remembered him then he would have remembered half-inviting him, he would remember his plea for Victor to come back to him, and if not Victor would just be another patron. He could accept that it was all just a one night deal, as they always were, and return home in defeat.

God, he hoped Yuuri remembered him.

When Victor arrived at the inn, way later than he had expected due to his failure to learn enough directional Japanese, Yuuri wasn’t around. Victor didn’t try to seek him out, instead he simply dropped his things off in the room he was given, letting Makkachin roam around at the owner’s permission and made his way to the hot spring that the inn was known for.

The experience was ethereal. The mineral water warmed and soothed his jet lagged limbs in a way he had never experienced before, and he could understand all their hype. He leaned back on the ledge, fighting not to fall asleep, and he barely missed Yuuri barrelling out to the spring, gawking at Victor’s cut shoulders and relaxed features.

“Victor, what are you doing here?”

So Yuuri did remember him.

“I’m here to see the Cherry Blossoms,” he smiled.

“But why are you here?”

“It was recommended,” Victor responded with a wink and Yuuri’s face didn’t lose any confusion as his cheeks blushed red. 

Shortly after Victor found himself in a loosely tied Jinbei, curled up on the floor letting sleep tug him under as his abandoned drink sat on the zataku behind him. People around him were conversing in soft Japanese, one of the voices pulling him out of his sleep by sheer familiarity. He rose to find the voice belonged to Yuuri. The smell of warm food flooded his senses and Victor smiled at Yuuri before speaking.

“Is there anything to eat?”

“Oh um of course! We have a lot to eat. What would you like?”

Victor tapped a finger to his mouth in thought, “Hm. What’s your favorite food?”

Yuuri smiled like he had just won the lottery before excusing himself to the kitchen. He returned about 15 minutes later with a bowl and a set of chopsticks. He set it infront of Victor as he nervously settled into the spot across from her. Victor looked to him with curiosity.

“This is Katusdon, or a Pork Cutlet Bowl. It’s basically pork, rice, and eggs. It’s my favorite food ever, and nothing tops my mom’s recipe.”

Victor looked to the bowl before picking up his chopsticks and taking a bite. The flavor was overwhelmingly good. He found himself taking a few more bites before telling Yuuri just that.

“I’m glad you like it,” Yuuri smiled shyly and Victor returned to his meal.

--

The following week of Victor’s stay was agonizing. Yuuri was hardly around, making it hard for Victor to get anywhere with him. He wanted to be frustrated but while Victor was here on vacation, Yuuri was visiting and helping his family.

Victor got his moment his second week there. Yuuri’s mother was conversing with him in the dining room about what all he had seen in Hatsetsu so far, and Victor solemnly admitted that he hadn’t done much more than going to the beach front with Makkachin and taking the train to Kyoto one of the days. Yuuri’s mother had smiled at him and said that Yuuri didn’t have anything going on that day so he could show Victor around.

The day had been far more awkward than Victor would have liked to admit. It wasn’t that Yuuri was a bad tour guide, but rather he kept a good distance between himself and Victor and Victor felt it like a gash in his chest.

He couldn’t understand Yuuri.

They sat on a bench overlooking a stone staircase leading to a boardwalk along the coast. Yuuri pulled out the bento boxes they had packed and they ate in relative silence. As they finished up, Yuuri spoke.

“So how long are you in Hatsetsu?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I hadn’t really made a plan,” Victor shrugged.

“Don’t you have shoots or whatever?”

“Yeah,” Victor said matter-of-factly, “But none right now. I take them as I please.”

“Ah,” Yuuri nodded and they fell into silence again, before Victor broke it this time.

“So Yuuri, do you have a girlfriend?”

Yuuri looked at him in utter confusion before shaking his head no.

“A boyfriend? Or a partner?” 

Yuuri blushed impossibly red, “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Fine, I guess we can keep talking about me… I don’t now, but there was this man-” Victor was interrupted by Yuuri’s cries as he shook his hands in his face and Victor smiled. Now he was getting somewhere. 

Victor had determined he had enough evidence to prove to himself that Yuuri in fact did remember their night together, he was just shy, which Victor found endearing. He would need to find a way to let Yuuri know there was no reason for him to be so shy around him. He sure as hell hadn’t been that night.

“So how long have you been dancing?”

“How did you…?...Oh… um well since I was like 7 I think.”

“Oh wow, that’s longer than I’ve been modeling.”

“When did you start modeling?”

“I think I was maybe 12 or 13, I can’t remember exactly.”

“Ah. Yeah I remember the exact day I took my first ballet lesson. None of the details much anymore but the date is pretty much ingrained in my mind.”

“Ballet, huh. I’ll have to see that sometime,” Victor smiled and leaned towards Yuuri who blushed and pulled away from him, attempting to change the topic. Victor looked at his sideways before brushing his own hair back. “You don’t need to be so shy, you know?”

“I-” Yuuri was interrupted as his phone rang. “Oh, I have to take this,” he said, bowing lightly in apology before stepping away to take the call. Victor couldn’t tell if their discussion had been productive or not.

--

Victor made a million tiny steps in the following weeks. Sometimes he and Yuuri would stay up at night talking about anything and everything, other days Yuuri wouldn’t so much as look at Victor's direction. Some days they would walk the city together, hands awkwardly brushing as they walked closer and closer every time. Yuuri would take him to his childhood rink, where Victor clung to him, afraid to fall. Other days, he couldn’t even get Yuuri to join him for a single meal or a soak in the springs. It was so frustrating.

And Victor always initiated everything, sometimes with the help of Yuuri’s mom, sister, or dance instructor. 

This is why Victor was beyond shocked, but equally as excited, when Yuuri had asked him if he wanted to accompany him to the festival Hatsetsu was hosting that weekend. Victor had agreed on the premise that Yuuri would help him rent a Yukata to wear. Yuuri’s cheeks flushed red as he agreed.

After that, Victor counted down the days, desperately fighting with himself over whether it was a date or not.

The night of the festival, Victor attempted to tackle his Yukata. He had picked a colored yukata with an elaborate design and accenting obi. He tried a few times, even attempting to follow videos online with no prevail. When Yuuri came after him so they could leave, he found Victor standing facing his mirror, typing his yukata the wrong way.

“Victor?”

Victor turned to him, the most pathetic look on his face as he pleaded, “Help me.”

Yuuri laughed at him as he crossed the room. Victor stared at Yuuri’s face as he opened and rewrapped Victor’s Yukata. Victor admired his focus and felt the blush on Yuuri’s cheeks in his chest. Once Yuuri got it situated, he instructed Victor to hold it closed as he reached to wrap the thin cord around Victor’s waist. The move pushed Yuuri against his chest and Victor had never been more happy at his own incompetence, especially when the next step included Yuuri sticking his hands into the open gaps along his sides, his warm hands brushing Victor’s sides as he tucked the sides of the Yukata down, and then his fingers on is collarbone as he situated the collar. Victor felt like he was going to have a heart attack by the time Yuuri finished tying the obi and moving the tie to Victor’s back. Victor turned to see Yuuri’s handiwork and smiled at him through the mirror, both of their faces flushed.

“We should-”

“Yeah,” Victor replied, stepping to his bedside table to grab his phone before falling Yuuri down the hall and out into the warm Hatsetsu air.

They made their way through the stalls, Yuuri standing in as Victor’s translator as he stopped to try food and play games. At one point he even won Yuuri a little stuffed toy. Yuuri notified Victor that the fireworks would start soon, so after Yuuri stopped at a kakigori stand, Victor let him lead him to his “perfect spot.” He couldn’t help but notice how secluded it was.

As they settled down and waited they fell into their casual conversation. Gone was the shy, quiet Yuuri. Now they had long drawn out conversations, sometimes melding into debates on whatever they were talking about. Yuuri was still scooping small bites of his red kakigori into his mouth, completely obvious to the chaos he was reeking on Victor everytime he used his tongue to clean up the drips from his fingers.  

The fireworks started soon after and Victor found himself watching the way the colors lit up Yuuri’s face as he watched in amazement more than the fireworks himself. How could he have looked away when Yuuri looked so beautiful. He had chosen a deep blue Yukata with a light floral design. It accented his warm skin and dark hair so well, and Victor ached with a need to be close to him. 

As the colors lit up the sky and Yuuri had finished the kakigori, Victor found himself reaching out to Yuuri. The Sake he had had less than an hour prior acting as an inhibitor to what he knew was an awful idea, but he couldn’t stop himself now. 

He heard a voice say Yuuri’s name, just barely heard between shocks of chemical explosions, and when Yuuri turned to him, he realized it was his own. His hand was on Yuuri’s cheek now, and the other man didn’t flinch away from the touch. Victor leaned in and an explosion set off in that moment, except this one didn’t make it to the sky, instead it went off in the space between them, the fuse sparked and lit where his hand met his cheeks and his lips met Yuuri’s. The smell on the kakigori wafted off Yuuri’s mouth and Victor wondered if he would be able to taste it. Without realizing, he was deepening the kiss, Yuuri allowing him with no hesitation, and, yes, he could taste it. Though part of him wondered if it was just Yuuri.

They pulled away with a breath and they smiled at each other. Yuuri turned his attention back to the fireworks in the sky, allowing Victor to trace his finger along Yuuri’s knuckles. They walked back to the inn in complete silence, fingers intertwined, the alcohol now setting into a comfortable drowsiness. Victor barely made it out of his Yukata after crashing onto his own bed and falling into a dreamless slumber. What was there to dream about when they had all just come true.

--

Victor soon found Yuuri’s oblivious nature to be absolutely adorable. They continued to hold hands and share kisses daily, and even graduated to sleeping in each other's rooms, Yuuri keeping Victor up willingly with his calm conversation. Yet, when Mari had inquired about their relationship the following week, Yuuri answered “nothing,” when Victor answered, “We’re dating.” That created an awkward conversation as Victor and Yuuri got on the same page. After that Victor couldn’t stop himself from calling Yuuri his boyfriend at any opportunity. 

Years passed, and Yuuri and Victor’s relationship only strengthened. Victor had to return home to Russia, and Yuuri followed. That summer, on their 2 year anniversary, Victor took Yuuri to Barcelona and Yuuri proposed to him.

The next winter following their 3 year anniversary, 5 months before their wedding, Yuuri was in an accident.

Chapter Text

When Victor got home the apartment was dark. Makkachin came bounding up to him, and he succumbed to his dog’s kisses and yips for a few moments before pushing farther into he and Yuuri’s shared space. Victor called out for his fiancé with no answer, and when he flicked on the lights over the kitchen he found a note.

Vitya,

I ran to the market across town to stock up on some things. I should be back by dinner!

 Love you,

Yuuri.

Victor smiled at the note, written entirely in Russian. Yuuri had been learning since he arrived and though speaking wasn’t hard, he had been really struggling with the writing, but Yuuri was never one to give up. As a result, nearly everything Yuuri wrote was in Russia, for practice. 

Victor set the note down and walked around the counter to start cooking. Of the two of them, Yuuri was a far better cook, but Victor still had a few really good recipes up his sleeve, all focused on efficiency.

Victor was just about finished cooking when he got a call from an unfamiliar number. He usually let them go to voicemail, assuming they weren’t caught but the filter his phone ran, but something compelled him to answer. He listened to the voice on the other line in quiet shock, hanging up without speaking much more than “Yes,” and “This is him.”

Victor was at the hospital in record time, asking the nurse to see his husband despite the fact he and Yuuri were yet to be married. He couldn’t risk not being allowed to see him.

It didn’t matter though. 

Yuuri couldn’t take any visitors because he was rushed to CT and then to surgery. Victor felt his entire world crumble around him, the room around him narrowing into one long tunnel, far away and out of touch. He didn’t know who was grabbing him and leading him to a chair, he hadn’t even realized he had fallen to the floor. Someone was talking to him but he couldn’t hear the words, he still wasn’t in his own body. 

He sat in the waiting room, staring at nothing, thinking of nothing but Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri.

Someone else came to talk to him a bit later. He didn’t know really how much time had passed and he didn’t hear a word of the fast russian spoken to him, but the person next to him nodded. Then he was being ushered to stand as more unintelligible words were spoken before he was led down a hall. 

Color, thought, and sound came roaring back to him at the sight of Yuuri. He looked worse for wear, but his chest was rising and falling evenly and his heart rate monitor beeped steadily. Suddenly Victor could breathe again.

A doctor was speaking to Victor again and this time it made sense.

“As the nurse informed you, Mr. Katsuki sustained a lot of head trauma. We aren’t sure when or if he will wake up, but for now he’s stable. There’s brain activity sowe are hopeful.”

Victor approached the bed, taking in Yuuri’s state. He reached down to grab his hand and crouched down to his level. 

“Can he hear me?”

“Most likely,” The doctor answered. “We are going to hold him here until further notice. You’re more than welcome to come and go as you please, Mr. Nikiforov, but any other non-family visitors will need to remain within visiting hours.”

Victor nodded from Yuuri’s side. A chair was pushed to him by someone and he sat, still grasping Yuuri’s hand, refusing to let go ever again.

--

Victor’s days in the hospital all blended together. He was there all hours of the day the entire first 2 weeks. He had called his neighbor to look after his Makkachin, and his job naturally allowed him to take breaks as he wished. It wasn’t until his stand-in father figure, Yakov Feltsman, stepped in and forced him to take breaks from the smell of septic and incessant beeps.

Victor was glad to have the man at his back since that first day, someone to lean on. Victor wouldn’t admit that it was relieving to get a break from the constant sounds of the machines and the shower in his luxurious bathroom felt way better than the poor water pressure in Yuuri’s ensuite bathroom. However, he desperately wanted to get back to Yuuri’s side any time he was away, not wanting to be gone if he were to wake up.

This was how Victor spent the 2 weeks after that that Yuuri was comatose. Twice a week he would go home for 4 hours to shower, cook a meal, and walk Makkachin, before he returned to Yuuri’s side. An old couch was drug into the room by the nurses after his second night Victor spent leaned over, head laying on his arms by Yuuri’s side. The couch wasn’t comfortable by any means, but it was better than waking up every morning with an aching back, so he thanked them earnestly. He spent his time at the hospital consulting with companies on designs and shoots. Offering his expertise in ways other than the physical.

26 days after Yuuri’s accident, Victor had been typing away at an email when Yuuri’s heart rate sped up. Not anything dangerous, in fact, it was so subtle the only reason he could even tell it had changed was because he had heard it day in and day out for the past 4 weeks. He looked up to the bed, and his own heart stopped. Yuuri’s face was moving, hush eyebrows furrowing as he slowly blinked his eyes open.  He squinted and blinked as the harsh lights of the room hit his eyes. Victor never moved so fast. He was across the room to hit the overhead lights off and pressing the call button before he bounded to the side of the bed. 

“Yuuri! Yuuri, can you hear me?”

Yuuri looked at him in confusion, trying to talk but failing.

“Shhh, the doctors said it may be a little harder for you to talk at first. You were in an accident about a month ago and have been out since. But you’re awake now. I’m so happy to see your eyes again, Moy Lyubov.”

Yuuri looked at Victor and then back around the room before a nurse entered the room. She smiled at Yuuri and began to speak to him in accented English. Yuuri nodded along, never once turning to look towards Victor. 

Yuuri was sitting up and talking within a day, but something was different. Yuuri had immediately asked for his family or Phichit, which wasn’t the odd part. It was odd because he asked his nurse, not Victor. He wouldn’t let Victor touch, he subtly pulled his hand away anytime the other man stepped towards the bed. 

Yuuri had his first panic attack 4 days after waking up. Yuuri’s sister, Mari, and his mother, Hiroko, had just arrived and were talking quietly when Victor returned from getting food. He handed Mari the food he had gotten for Yuuri and had taken up his seat on the sofa. As Yuuri and Mari spoke in soft Japanese, Yuuri seemed to be getting more and more upset and frustrated at what she was telling him. Victor could tell he was on the brink of a panic attack. After years with Yuuri he knew all the signs, and could oftentimes bring him down from that ledge if he caught it soon enough.

Victor stood up and walked to Yuuri’s side.

“Yuuri, breathe. With me, one, two, three-” as Victor had spoken, he reached to grab Yuuri’s hand to tap along with his counting but Yuuri had yanked his hand away the second Victor’s fingers had brushed his skin, his eyes filled with fear as he plummeted quicker into panic. The machines hooked to him beeping incessantly, and Yuuri’s nurse was in the room in seconds, ushering Yuuri’s guests out. 

 Victor, Mari and Hiroko took up seats in the waiting room. When a nurse came to update them a half hour later, she said Yuuri was stable now but had specifically requested his mother and sister only.

Victor tried desperately not to be hurt as he sat alone in the waiting room, Mari returning a near 45 minutes later to sit by him.

“How is he,” Victor asked.

“Better, but um…” Mari trailed off, whatever she had to say dying in the air between them.

“Yes? What is it,” Victor asked, “Is he okay?”

“Yuuri is fine, but,” Mari swallowed, “He has some um… lasting affects.”

“Mari, you can just say it.”

“He doesn’t remember you.”

“What?” Victor’s world came crashing down just like it did that first day. Not quite as intense because at least he knew his Yuuri was still alive, but the feeling in his chest was the same.

“Mom and I got back to the room and he had asked me who ‘the man with us’ was. I aksed if he meant Victor and he said, ‘If that’s his name, yeah.”

“Oh,” was all Victor replied.

“Yeah. I didn’t know what to do so I didn’t say anything. Mom changed the subject and I was sent to inform the nurse of the obvious memory issue. Last I knew they were running some tests. They said it could be temporary but…”

“Yeah.”

“I’m so sorry, Victor.”

“He’s alive, that’s what matters.”

“While we figure out things here, why don’t you go home, and get some real rest. I’ll call you with any updates.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Victor stood up and said goodbye to Mari. When he got home, he skipped showering, or even picking up Makkachin and instead collapsed into bed and cried. He tried to tell himself to be reasonable, there was no proof Yuuri wouldn’t remember him, he just didn’t yet, it was going to be okay. 

It was going to be okay.

-

Victor wasn’t allowed in Yuuri’s room after that day, and it hurt. Victor didn’t know how long it would be until Yuuri remembered him again. It was destroying him knowing Yuuri was alive, just down that hall, but unable to remember everything they had built together. 

The doctors and Mari kept him up to date as best they could. Yuuri was doing a lot better outside the memory issue, and they expected him to be discharged at the end of March.

When he was finally discharged, Mari and Hiroko didn’t want to move Yuuri home to Hatsetsu yet, so they moved Yuuri back to Victor and Yuur’s apartment where they had been staying. While they brought him home, Victor was in charge of the painful job of “Yuuri-fying” the apartment. They had told Yuuri that Victor was a friend of Mari’s who lived in the city and was letting them stay with him, which meant his apartment needed to be returned to its prior Yuuri-less state. 

He took down all their photos, packed Yuuri’s clothes and items away until the only thing that was left was the photo of he and Yuuri the night they met. It was a blurry photo of Yuuri in Victor’s jacket as they ate their street food, taken by Phichit and sent promptly to Victor. It had been his prized possession for 4 years, and now he tucked it away into his bedside table like it was something to be ashamed of. 

Outside of the hospital, the Katsuki’s returned to speaking almost strictly Japanese, mostly because Yuuri preferred it and he seemed uncomfortable with Victor’s presence.

Most nights, after Hiroko and Yuuri turned in for the night, Mari would step out onto Victor’s balcony for a smoke, Victor would accompany her with his glass of that night’s alcohol choice, or some read, and she would fill him in on the day's discussions. 

That particular night, a couple weeks after Yuuri’s release, the Russian chill was brutal. It was mid April now, and Victor knew it would be starting to warm up in Hatsetsu.

 Mari took a long drag, her opposite arm shoved into the pocket of Yuuri’s coat she had borrowed. As she exhaled her smoke, she spoke.

“He wants to go home.”

Victor looked to her from his side of the railing, he didn’t speak, allowing her to go on.

“He asked how long we had planned to stay here and how long until he could travel.”

“What did you say?”

“Same thing the doc said. That he was cleared to travel and would just need to let the practice know where to send his records to.”

“Oh.”

“So he wants to go back to Hatsetsu… Well he wanted to go back and finish school, but I informed him he had already graduated, which he had a panic attack about, and then decided back home was good.”

“So he’s leaving.”

“Sounds it.”

Victor was quiet for a moment. Lost in the ache of it all. They had told them that every week his memory didn’t return the chances of him recovering it went down. but they reassured him not to lose hope entirely, that it was possible, but Victor believed he had used up all his luck by simply meeting Yuuri. He didn’t think he could get that lucky again.

“I still have our tickets,” was what he said when he finally spoke. “For the wedding. I never canceled them, I guess I thought…”

“When are they for?”

“The end of next week I think. I can see if I can transfer one of them to you.”

“You’re staying?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Victor-”

“What good would I be if he doesn’t want me around.”

“He needs you. Whether he knows it or not…” She paused for a moment before continuing, “Come if you want. You know you’re more than welcome by the rest of us that do remember you.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Okay.”

Except there was no thinking about it for Victor. Yuuri had made it painfully obvious he didn’t want to be in Victor’s country, in Victor’s house, or in Victor’s life. The last thing Victor wanted to do was make this any harder on him, to take away his safe place. He had already shown up unwanted to Hatsetsu once. 

The next week, Victor moved Yuuri’s things into one large suitcase and a carry-on. Anything he had brought with him or he purchased on his own was packed. All the photographs and gifts given in love were left behind, tucked into the back of Victor’s half empty closet, hoping for a day they could be returned to their owner. The Katsuki’s packed all their luggage into the back of Victor’s small car and took off for the airport. Yuuri’s key was left sitting on the island in Victor’s   kitchen.

Chapter Text

Victor drove the three of them to the airport. Hiroko and Yuuri sat in the back seats while Mari sat up front by Victor and he happily accepted the company. He didn’t get out of the car to help them unpack their bags, instead waiting quietly until Mari gave him the go ahead. She smiled sadly as she waved him off. However, Victor didn’t immediately pull away, instead he laid his head on the wheel, willing the nausea in his stomach to go away, when there was a tap at the window. Victor looked up to see Yuuri standing on the passenger side window. Victor rolled it down all the way and waited for Yuuri to speak.

“Thank you,” he said bowing his head shyly, like Victor was a stranger.

“Because you are,” Victor thought to himself.

“For taking care of me before my family came and letting us stay at your apartment.”

“Of course,” Victor said, plastering a painful smile on his face. “It was nothing. Safe travels.”

Yuuri nodded before walking off to rejoin his family. Mari gave Victor a weak smile as he watched Yuuri go.

When they disappeared into the airport, Victor let out a sigh before pulling off into traffic to return to his empty apartment.

He walked in the door and was immediately greeted by an ecstatic Makkachin. He cooed at her as he hung up his keys and crossed the vacant apartment to his couch, ignoring how similar his apartment looked to his time pre-Yuuri.

Just as he laid back, he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. He sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day and pulled it out. On the screen read Yuuri’s name, the plethora of hearts still trailing it. He ignored the ache that caused, and ignored the way his heart skipped in anticipation.

“Hello?”

“Victor!”

“Mari?”

“So sorry to bother you, we’ve run into a bit of an issue.” In the background Victor could hear Yuuri’s frantic Japanese followed by his mother’s calming voice.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yuuri can’t fly.”

“What why?”

“They say since the tickets are under your name, and you’re a citizen, and something about your marriage certificates? I don’t know. Neither of our English was very good, and Yuuri was panicking so he wasn’t any help.”

“You want me to fly to Hatsetsu…”

“I didn’t say that. Just maybe if you could come down here and explain, or something-” Mari broke off to speak in rushed Japanese before returning to the call. “I’m sorry, Victor.”

“It’s okay, Mari. Let me get all our documents, get Makka handled, and I’ll be there. How long until the flight?”

“Luckily Yuuri’s travel anxiety saved our asses, we still have 4 hours until boarding.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can… and Mari?”

“Yeah?”

“Have Yuuri recite Hiragana backwards, it helps.”

“Thanks Victor.”

“No problem,” he said quietly, “I’ll be there soon.”

Victor hung up the phone and let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. 

He called his neighbor as he collected the leftover documents for he and Yuuri’s travel and marital union. His neighbor accepted Makkachin happily, so Victor dropped him off as he left his apartment building.

Victor made it to the airport less than 30 minutes after Mari had called. The group of three was sat together along a far wall in the departure lobby. Mari was leaning over talking to an anxious Yuuri, while Hiroko rubbed his back.The sight pained Victor. He couldn’t begin to imagine how overwhelming this all was. He knew all Yuuri wanted to do was go home and just move on, and Victor would do anything to grant him that peace, even if that meant Victor got left behind in the process. He would tear himself apart if it meant Yuuri’s happiness.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and approached the family. Mari was the first to look up and she greeted him with another one of her rare, yet sympathetic smiles. Victor extended the manila envelope out to Mari who simply nodded towards the check-in help desk. Victor nodded and made his way to the counter, Mari and Yuuri in tow behind him.

Victor didn’t bother trying to have the conversation in English. He figured it would go much smoother in Russian and he could translate after. 

The whole affair was extremely frustrating. The attendant understood Victor’s”predicament,” mostly because he lied. He told them he and Yuuri had planned to get married but now they weren’t and Yuuri needed to go home. He argued that there was no reason his ex-fiance should have to spend nearly a day traveling with him. The attendant apologized but said because the tickets were under his name and under the pretense of Yuuri updating his Visa upon re-entry, there was nothing they could do. They would have to repurchase the tickets, basically eating the near 6 grand Victor had spent on the tickets. Not to mention their flight was now full, so Yuuri wouldn’t be able to fly out today. Victor groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose before politely thanking the attendant and walking to Yuuri and Mari, who stood just to the side of the short line Victor had accumulated. He relayed the information to the two of them, Yuuri fidgeting, obviously fighting off the panic simmering in his chest. 

“Look, it’s okay, we can just eat these tickets and get you all moved to the next flight out. I’ll help you get a room here at the airport and-”

“No,” Yuuri said quietly, shaking his head, “You’ve already done enough for us, it’s okay. I can just pay you back and get my own ticket and Mari and Mom can take this one.” Under his breath he added, “I still don’t understand why I can’t travel without him.”

Victor caught it, his chest tightening more than he thought possible at the reminder that Yuuri wasn’t aware these tickets were for his wedding.

In the end, Victor was making his way empty handed, sans the paperwork, through security and boarding a flight to Japan. He didn’t consciously like the idea, feeling his presence was more a hindrance than a help, but it was the only conclusion they could come to that Yuuri wasn’t stubbornly opposed to.

Victor followed Yuuri onto the plane, their first class tickets allowing them to board before his family. Victor had offered to switch with Mari, but sweet, stubborn Yuuri insisted he keep his seat since he paid for it, and part of Victor thought Yuuri didn’t switch with her either because he wanted the comfort of first class for himself, and Victor thought he more than deserved that luxury after all he had been through in the last 5 months. 

Victor let Yuuri have the inside seat, knowing he hated the outside seat and they sat in silence as the rest of the plane boarded and they prepared for take off. 

As the plane made its way down the tarmac, Victor didn’t miss the familiar bounce of Yuuri’s leg. He always hated take off and landings. His fingernails clawed at his pant legs, until Victor silently pulled out his keys, removed the thick rubber band he always kept on the ring, and passed it to Yuuri. Yuuri looked at him in complete shock as he took the band and began twisting it around his fingers. Victor relaxed himself as Yuuri’s shoulders relaxed, his focus now on twisting the rubber band around his index fingers to make random shapes, instead of the increasing speed of the aircraft.

They rode most of the flight in silence, Yuuri dozing off a few hours off of take-off, Victor following shortly after. When service came around with dinner, the stewardess gently woke Victor. He sat up as he processed the weight on his shoulder. In his sleep, Yuuri had leaned onto Victor’s shoulder. Victor woke Yuuri gently as he pulled their tray tables down him.

“Dinner,” Victor said as Yuuri blinked awake, face blushing with embarrassment as the slight wet spot he had left on Victor’s shirt.

“Thanks,” Yuuri replied, taking his meal.

At some point towards the end of the flight Yuuri and Victor ended up sharing headphones to watch a movie on the inflight screens. Victor couldn’t help but find Yuuri’s excitement over a movie he had watched in 2016 now having 2 sequels incredibly endearing, and he happily allowed himself to watch all three films for the umpteenth time.

The second flight followed the same partial comfort as the first, but it was significantly shorter, and once they landed in Fukuoka, Yuuri returned to the comfort of Mari’s side. Victor wasn’t able to ignore the pang of jealousy. That used to be his role .

Their arrival to the inn was quiet. They arrived in Fukuoka fairly late and then had to ride the train to Hatsetsu. Everyone was asleep, so they quietly made their way to their respective rooms. Since they had been expecting an influx of guests, there was a room for Victor to stay in, rather than staying in Yuuri’s room. Victor was glad for the long flight, as he was now completely exhausted, falling asleep pretty much as soon as his head hit the pillow.

As usual, Victor woke up long before Yuuri. Since he was only a complete stranger to Yuuri, he made his presence at the inn productive. He helped Mari gather linens and helped Toshiya prepare for breakfast. 

A little before noon, he heard Yuuri’s familiar voice in the eating area. He was talking to Mari as she rested after this morning’s chores. Victor silently brewed Yuuri a cup of green tea, setting it on the table in front of him without a word, before making his way back to his room to go on a jog before lunch. Victor’s Japanese was beginner’s level at best, so he found it better to just be out of the way during the lunch rush, and return to help clean up after. He filled the rest of his day with some reading and relaxing in the springs. 

Most of his entire first week was spent like this. He helped with chores and made Yuuri tea every morning, sometimes he would accompany Mari or Hiroko on grocery runs, or go walk through the shops in town. Sometimes he would soak alone in the spring, other times Yuuri would already be in, or would join him part way through. It was always silent regardless, but Victor didn’t really mind. They had almost never spent their time in the spring as a two-person event in the past anyways.

Just a little under halfway through his stay and just a few days before their wedding had been planned, Victor was having trouble sleeping. Kept up at night by the ever-growing anxiety that his Yuuri was lost forever. He gave up trying and made his way into the kitchen for a drink.

As he entered the dining space he realized he wasn’t the only restless one. Yuuri sat alone in the dark, scrolling through his phone with his head laid on the top of the kotatsu. Yuuri noticed his presence by the door and look up. 

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Victor replied. “Can't sleep?”

Yuuri shook his head.

“Can't calm down.”

Victor nodded back. Yuuri got like this a lot before too. Usually before some kind of event, and usually a special cup of tea helped push him to drowsiness, enough to make his thoughts slow.

“It’s this feeling like I have something important to do but I don't,” he laughed nervously and Victor just nodded again as he made his way into the kitchen. He brewed Yuuri some tea and poured himself a glass of water. When he was done he walked back into the dining area, crossing to where Yuuri sat.

“Here. This should help.”

Yuuri looked up at him curiously but pulled the cup in front of him. He thanked Victor quietly, and Victor nodded before turning to leave, returning Yuuri his privacy.

“Victor?”

“Yeah?” Victor turned around where he stood by the door, hand on the doorframe.

“How do you always know what I need?”

“What do you mean?”

“The backwards Hiragana and the rubber band, the green tea in the mornings, this ,” He motioned down at the warm chamomile tea, Victor had added a dash of sweet cream. Victor knew his face was showing a million emotions, unsure of where to go from there.

“Do you want the truth?”

Yuuri looked at him, confused before shrugging and saying sure.

“The full truth,” Victor reiterated, and he saw the way Yuuri tensed. “It’s… a lot.”

“I want it.”

Victor nodded. He pulled his phone out of his pocket as he sat across from Yuuri, setting it down on the kotatsu. 

Victor didn’t even know where to start. Did he go back to the very beginning? Did he start with why Yuuri had to fly with Victor? He guessed the best place was with Yuuri’s question.

Victor closed his eyes as he spoke, “I know because we were engaged.”

“What?”

“The reason you couldn’t fly without me, why I had all your paperwork, why I had bought your ticket, it was because we sat on my- our living room floor over a year ago and brought them together.” Victor let out a weak laugh as he added, “You fought me about first-class too.”

“I don’t understand.”

Victor unlocked his phone, his fingers finding their way to the photo album by pure memory. He opened it, sliding the phone across to Yuuri as he continued. 

“We met almost 5 years ago, while you were still in school. I moved here for a year to follow you, and then we moved to Russia. This trip was…” Victor trailed off and Yuuri looked up at him from where he was scrolling through drunken photos of himself and Victor. Occasionally Phichit and another man Yuuri didn’t know made an appearance. 

“Was?”

“Nothing.”

“No, Victor. What was it.”

“Yuuri-“

“Just tell me,” Yuuri said, his stern tone catching Victor by surprise. “I feel like I deserve to know,” he added calmly. 

“Our wedding trip.”

“Oh.” Yuuri instantly deflated, setting Victor’s phone down.

“Yeah.”

“When-“ Yuuri started but Victor interrupted.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s not happening.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for? You didn’t do this to yourself.”

“I’m still sorry.”

Victor smiled his fake smile at Yuuri.

“It’s late. That tea should kick in soon, you should head to bed.”

“Yeah.”

“Sleep well.”

“You too, Victor… and uh, thanks. For telling me. This can’t be easy.”

Victor shrugged, “You’re alive. That’s all that matters to me. Goodnight Yuuri.”

—

Despite the late night confession, Yuuri’s behavior towards Victor didn’t change immediately and Victor felt himself on edge. It was supposed to be the week of their wedding and Yuuri was showing no signs of remembering anything. Victor found himself trying desperately to see if this was true. He mixed phrases like “We used to…” and “You always liked…” into his conversations with Yuuri, some desperate hope that it would reawaken the man he missed so desperately. He should have noticed how uncomfortable the constant reminders of this version of himself were but he didn’t. Yuuri’s impending panic should have been obvious. Yet Victor found Yuuri gravitating more towards him as time went on. Instead of just ending up in the springs together, Yuuri would ask when Victor was going. He smiled happily at his tea every morning and sometimes accompanied Victor to the shops.

Victor’s stay in Hatsetsu had come to an end fast, and he was at a loss. Yuuri had been closer to him lately and Victor had false hope that his Yuuri was coming back. He stood in the main hall of Yuuri’s home, just the two of them.

“Heading out?” Yuuri had asked as Victor lingered by the door.

“Yeah my flight back is today.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I miss our Makkachin, it will be good to see her.”

Yuuri nodded, his shoulders tensing a bit.

“I’m sure she misses us just as much.”

Victor watched as that line alone crumpled Yuuri’s resolve. He could tell Yuuri was starting to panic. Confused, he stepped toward Yuuri slowly, trying every tactic he knew to calm him down, but it only made him spiral more. Until…

“Stop,” Yuuri shouted unexpectedly, before his face went red and his head hung low as he visibly shook. His shoulders tensed more as he looked up at Victor, and Victor knew instantly whatever Yuuri had to say was going to hurt. “Victor, just stop.”

“Yura, I’m was only trying to hel-”

“I don’t need your help, okay?” Victor’s mouth closed as he pushed it into a straight line. “Whoever it was that you were in love with, is gone. He’s not me, he will never be me. The sooner you accept that the sooner we can both just move on. Just go back to Russia. Forget about me, mourn him, and get on with your life. Stop trying to fix me when you can’t. I-” Yuuri started to falter, crumpling to the ground. Victor was frozen, unable to speak or move. “I can’t be him, Victor.” It was so quiet, barely even heard. “I’ve tried so hard. You love him so much, and I” Yuuri laughed, but there was no joy in it, “I’m jealous of myself. He got to have you, this kind, caring, fiance who loved him so much, but I just can’t remember. I look at the photos of him, of me, and it’s just blank. It’s as if I’m looking at a stranger wearing my face. I looked so happy. You looked so happy and now you… you’re here with me, a pathetic substitute for some better version of myself that you desperately want back.”

“Yuuri,” Victor whispered quietly.

“I’m sorry Victor. You should just leave.”

“If that’s what you truly want.”

Yuuri didn’t speak, and Victor knew his answer. He nodded quietly, picking his phone and keys up from the table before slipping his shoes on and sliding the front door open.

“I bet we were fun,” Yuuri said and Victor stopped to turn to him.

“More than you know.” 

He stepped out into the cool Hatsetsu air, sliding the door shut between him and Yuuri for good. 

Chapter Text

  -the night Victor told Yuuri the truth -

Yuuri sat alone after Victor bid him goodnight. He let the entire conversation sink in as he stared at the cup of tea in front of him.

“ How many times have I had this tea,” He thought to himself. 

Questions like these had become a part of Yuuri’s life since he found out about his memory loss. Everytime he experienced something new he wondered how many times he had truly done it, and he knew now, it was only going to increase the longer Victor was around. 

Yuuri somehow made it to his bed. He was too far in his own thoughts to process anything else.

He laid in bed, staring at his ceiling, playing back all the time since he woke up months ago, but this time with a new lens.

He hadn’t known Victor at all when he woke up. He was a stranger to Yuuri, but thinking back, Yuuri remembered how happy Victor had been. He remembered that his family wasn’t there, but Victor always was. Until Yuuri had kicked him out. Realistically, Yuuri knew it wasn’t his own fault, but now he couldn’t help but feel guilty over how much that act must have hurt Victor.

He remembered the apartment they stayed at, and how Victor always kept his distance, and Yuuri remembered how relieved he had felt by that. Victor’s unfamiliar presence had made him uneasy, even after Mari’s reassurance that he was a friend of hers.

When Yuuri was finally cleared to leave he couldn’t wait to do so. He wanted to be home and in familiar company, but then the whole airport incident happened. Absolutely none of that had made sense to Yuuri then, but now, with Victor’s confirmation, it all did. He had been living in Russia on a marriage visa, without Victor and his papers he wouldn’t have been able to take a flight with a return date. 

All of it made sense now. All of the little things Victor had done during travel, the calming tactics, letting him always have the inside seat, the rubber band at take off. It was like a flood of realization was hitting Yuuri all at once, he was almost overwhelmed. 

Yuuri probably wouldn’t have slept that night if the calming elements of the chamomile tea and warm cream didn’t set in. When he fell asleep he dreamt of a party filled with unfamiliar faces and a man with silver hair.

—

Yuuri spent the entirety of the next day at the inn. Between helping Mari with chores and doing some of his own, he was fairly busy. When he finally made his way to the hot spring and saw it was empty he smiled to himself, slowly soaking into the water and leaning his head against the edge. Shortly after he heard the sound of someone joining him and he didn’t need to open his eyes to know it was Victor. They sat in comfortable silence before Victor spoke.

“How did you sleep last night?”

“Really good, thank you.”

Victor made an approving noise and they settled back into silence again, this time Yuuri breaking the silence.

“What happened?” He sat up and looked over to Victor. Victor peaked open his eyes to meet Yuuri’s. “The day I…”

“Oh. Well I wasn’t there…”

“I mean before. Like how did the day start, what did we do, stuff like that.”

“Ah,” Victor looked off, whatever memories he was thinking about he remembered fondly, and it made Yuuri’s stomach turn. “I guess it was just any normal day. I woke up before you, like I do now. We had breakfast and went our separate ways. I had a shoot and then some silly interview. You got home before me and went to the Japanese market across town. I came home to a note you had written me, entirely in Russian, and accurate too… I never got to tell you how proud of it I was, of you.”

Yuuri felt his cheeks heat up, even though the praise wasn’t deserved, it wasn’t him.

“You miss him…”

“I miss you , Yuuri. But I meant what I said. Just you being alive is good enough for me. I don’t need you to be something you're not anymore. I don’t even need you to love me. To just know you’re okay is enough.”

“I just feel…” Yuuri trailed off. He felt like a murderer . Like he killed the man he was before and took over his life. “...tired,” he finished with a lie instead. Victor nodded in knowing. After that they fell back into comfortable conversation, Yuuri laughing at the stupid shit Victor would say. When their fingers were pruney and their eyes tired, they finally decided to retire for the night, bidding each other goodnight in the hallway.

Yuuri didn’t sleep much that night. He curled up on his desk chair reading article after article on how to get his memory back. Mostly for Victor’s sake, but also his own. He felt this undeniable pull to Victor but he couldn’t just continue where they left off, not when he was far from the same man he was before, but if he could just remember .

Nothing he was finding was super helpful. The most promising thing was to simply surround himself with things that might jog his memory, things from before. The only problem was Yuuri was half a world away from where he had spent nearly all his lost time. The only thing he had was Victor.

So Yuuri slowly began to hang around Victor more often and at the end of the night he wrote down all the things he learned about the time he had lost. He would look through photos of himself uploaded by Victor and his friends online as well as photos he had taken on his own phone, but nothing seemed to be working. It seemed like no matter how hard Yuuri tried to remember something, anything, he just couldn’t. It was all still things that happened to someone else . He knew realistically he shouldn’t rush himself, but Victor was leaving at the end of the week, and all chances to be with him again would be gone. He found it incredibly frustrating, to the point Victor was no longer helping. 

Victor’s stories about what Yuuri had been like had previously been more than welcome and even encouraged by Yuuri, but now they were just a reminder of how bad he was failing to bring back himself. To get back to the life he had, and so desperately wanted. Everyday became a battle with himself.

When the day came for Victor to leave, they stood alone in the main hall. They both seemed to be stalling his departure. Yuuri didn’t want to say what needed to be said, and Victor seemed to be hanging on to some thread of hope that his Yuuri would spontaneously come back before he finally left forever.

“Heading out,” Yuuri asked instead of anything else he could have said.

“Yeah, my flight back is today,” Victor replied as if they both hadn’t been painfully aware of this day the entire week. He followed this with one solid reminder of what Yuuri couldn’t be. The reminder that even though he had Victor’s Yuuri’s body, he didn’t have his mind anymore, his memories, the very thing that made him the man Victor wanted to marry. That internal battle began again, panic setting in as Victor attempted to calm him and Yuuri just wanted it to stop, stop, STOP.

Before he could realize it, he was speaking. All his thoughts poured out into the air between him and Victor, sealing their fate, finally putting them out of their misery after a long drawn out death. 

“I’m sorry, Victor. You should just leave.”

And Victor did just that. Yuuri watched as he left, closing the door to the inn and leaving his life forever. He awaited the emotional drop, expected it, but he didn’t think it would drop so hard. Victor’s face when Yuuri had snapped burned into his mind and he felt sick. He stood motionless in the main hall, his mind still running a mile a minute. He only moved when the low ache in his gut became full nausea and he rushed himself to the bathroom. He dry heaved as his anxiety twisted his guts. When he was done he leaned back against the wall, fending off his tears until he finally climbed the stairs back to his room and curled up on his bed. 

He let his mind reply the last few months since he woke up. He remembered the first face he saw, Victor’s. At that point he was just a vaguely familiar stranger, but now Yuuri wasn’t sure what he was. 

At some point Yuuri fell asleep. When he woke up the sun had set. He flinched as his phone screen illuminated his face. It was 11 p.m. He groaned before rolling back over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He was at a loss for what to do. His ‘pathetic pining’ was now creating a suffocating feeling in his chest the more the seconds passed, and Victor inevitably got further and further away.

Unsure of what else to do, Yuuri reached out to the one person he could trust. A little mental math told him it would have been about 10 A.M. in Detroit.

The phone rang a few times before the person on the other line picked up.

“Yuuri, moshi moshi!”

“Ha-loh,” Yuuri replied. He and Phichit had picked up the habit of greeting each other in the other’s native language after sleepless nights spent with nothing to do when they had lived together. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Nah it’s late so mostly everyone is asleep.”

“You’re not in Detroit?”

“It just wasn’t the same without you. I decided to do my graduate program back home.”

“Oh, when did you do that?”

“2 years after you graduated. I take it your memory isn’t back.”

“No,” Yuuri said solemnly before moving on quickly, “Did I come to your graduation?”

“Of course! You and-” Phichit paused before backtracking. “You were there!”

“Victor went with me.”

“Oh. You know.”

“Yeah, he told me…well I asked.”

“How did that go?”

“Okay. Part of me kinda wishes I never knew, though.”

“Why’s that?”

Yuuri was silent on the other end, but he didn’t need to explain. Even after all this time, Phichit knew him better than he knew himself.

“You feel guilty.”

“I don’t know what to do, Phich.”

“Walk me through your thoughts.”

Yuuri explained to Phichit his inner turmoil. The guilt of not being able to remember, his feelings for Victor and how he pushed him out of his life. Phichit made various affirmative noises to confirm he was listening. If they were in Detroit, they would have likely been laid out like a stereotypical patient and doctor, Phichit pretending to write things down and be deep in thought. It was so silly, but always helped Yuuri get out of his own mind. Even though to him it had only been a few months since they saw each other, he couldn’t help but miss his best friend. 

“I think the first thing here is just for you to hear from someone who isn’t Victor that it really is enough that you’re alive, Yuuri. I can’t begin to imagine what it would be like to lose 5 years of my life, but you are here and you can remake those memories.”

“Yeah,” Yuuri said, letting the words seep into his mind even if he didn’t believe them in that moment.

“It’s not your fault that this happened, and no one blames you. Not your family, not your friends, and definitely not Victor,” Phichit paused for a moment. “The next thing is simply, what do you want Yuuri? You’re the one who wants to make up for what you lost, so what do you want?”

Yuuri didn’t even allow himself to think, “ Him. ”

“The person you were or-”

“Victor.”

“Then go get him.”

“It’s not that easy Phich- He’s- I sent him away. I told him to forget about me…”

“In all his stories, did he ever tell your the story of how you guy’s even came to be a couple?”

“Yeah, we met in Detroit at some club you drug me to…”

“No, that’s just how you met. Victor returned to Russia the next day, you didn’t speak for months. ”

“Oh…”

Phichit retold the story of how Victor had followed Yuuri across the world after seeing a photo of Yuuri in Victor’s sweater. How Yuuri hadn’t remembered the night, and Yuuri laughed at the irony.

“So what do you suggest I do then,” Yuuri asked when Phichit finished.

“Isn’t it obvious? You chase him halfway across the world, my friend!”

“I can’t do that Phichit.”

“Say who? I mean you know exactly where he lives, You have a Russian Visa. What’s stopping you?”

What was stopping him? It was all physically possible. He had enough savings to cover at least a one way ticket, but what if Victor rejected him. What if Victor didn’t want this Yuuri. What if Yuuri hurt him by telling him to leave. What if he was already moving on? What if-

“Yuuri, I can hear you thinking from here,” Phichit interrupted. “I know you’re running through all the possible worst case scenarios in your head right now, but think about it this way. You will never know if you don’t try.”

Yuuri nodded despite the fact that Phichit couldn’t see him. From there they fell into casual conversation, Phichit talked about his life and all the things Yuuri had forgotten. By the time they hung up the phone it was nearly 3 am in Japan.

“Goodnight, Phichit. Thanks again.”

“No worries, Yuuri. It’s what I’m here for. Please keep me updated, you know I’ll support you no matter what… and come visit me soon, I miss you!!”

Yuuri laughed, “Of course, goodnight.”

“Goodnight!”

Yuuri hung up the phone and stared at the ceiling again. He had a lot to think about now.

Chapter Text

The flight back to Russia was far more lonesome than the one to Japan. He hadn’t thought to pack anything when he left so he was forced to stare at the window or watch crappy inflight movies on earphones that hurt his ears. 

Luckily, despite the ill feeling in his stomach and the events of the last 12 hours, he was able to sleep. 

The sun was tucking behind the horizon when he landed and by the time his car rolled up to the achingly familiar apartment building, the sky was black. A woman he recognized briefly smiled at him and held the door open for him. He thanked her in his soft Russian and they rode the elevator up in silence. She got off the floor before him and he let out a shaky breath. This was the first time he was returning to the apartment alone. He reached the door and hesitated. Something in him was telling him to turn around and go back to Hatsetsu. Desperate for the familiarity of it all, to the people he loved.

Before he could even reach the door, it flew open and he was met with familiar eyes.

“Yuuri?”

“Hey…”

Victor stood stunned in the doorway, and Yuuri’s eyes flicked down to the lead he was holding in his hand.

“Are you leaving,” Yuuri asked.

“I was just going to take Makka out real quick.” He opened the door the rest of the way, “Please, come in make yourself comfortable, feel free to shower, I assume you want to, you know where everything is, I’ll be right back.”

Yuuri nodded as they traded places. Victor took one look back at Yuuri before shutting the door. 

Yuuri shed his jacket and things onto the kitchen island and made his way to the guest bathroom. He showered quickly, just enough to wash the overnight travel off of him, as he was stepping out and wrapping a towel around himself, there was a soft knock at the door before Victor’s voice arose.

“I wasn’t sure if you needed any, but I left some clothes out here on the bed for you.”

“Thanks,” Yuuri replied. He grabbed his glasses off the counter and listened for Victor to leave the guest bedroom before opening the door and making his way to the bed. He got dressed, the clothes fitting him perfectly, before making his way back out to the main room. His anxiety was still eating him alive. He didn’t really know what he was doing here. He had no plan whatsoever, but it wasn’t like he could turn back now. 

Victor was standing past the island, steeping a cup of tea. When he heard Yuuri pad into the room he turned towards him and smiled shyly. 

“I made some tea for you,” He motioned his head to the island between them where a mug of tea was steaming away. “You can take a seat, I’ll be over and just a moment. I assume we need to talk.”

Yuuri nodded once before grabbing the tea and making his way to the couch. He set his glass on the coffee table and let Makka as she butted his hand for attention. 

Victor joined him, taking a seat in the armchair. He shook his head as he grabbed a coaster and pushed it to Yuuri. Yuuri felt his face heat up as he mumbled a sorry and slipped it under his mug but Victor simply raised his hand, as if to say  no worries. 

“So…” Victor said breaking the tension in the air once Yuuri set his mug back down. Yuuri sat back on the couch, fumbling his hands nervously in his lap, his eyes looking everywhere but at Victor.

“So…” He replied quietly.

“Why are you here? Not that I'm not very happy to see you, but…”

Yuuri nodded in understanding but didn’t really know where to start. “I-“ He started, but it fell short as he lost his train of thought. Victor watched him patiently, sipping from his tea as Yuuri gathered his thoughts. He was internally cursing himself for being unable to come up with what to say. He only had a day and a half of travel and a shower to come up with  something , but now his head was filled with every way this could go wrong.

“I don’t know,” was what he finally said.

“You don’t know why you’re here..?”

Yuuri shook his head, starting and stopping an explanation once again as his stomach tied itself in knots. 

“Yuuri,” Victor spoke softly. He placed a hand on Yuuri’s knee, barely touching him to avoid crossing any boundaries. That touch alone slowed everything down, and Yuuri’s thoughts started to piece together. “Talk to me. Whatever you’re thinking, good or bad.”

“I missed you,” It was spoken so quietly, barely a whisper but Victor heard it. Yuuri could tell by the way his breath stopped, as if instead of speaking, Yuuri slammed him in the chest. Yuuri could feel it, the anxious word vomit, there was no stopping it. Before Victor could even reply they were spilling out his mouth. “I tried to remember everything, I looked up tips and asked my doctor, and nothing, I still can’t remember anything. I know it’s so selfish of me to ask you to love me again but when you left I- I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about  us . I didn’t mean to be so.. so mean. I just hated the constant reminders of what I lost, I just seemed so happy with you and you with  me . I feel so conflicted over what to do and before I knew it I was being convinced to fly here and I don’t know …” Yuuri finally trailed off, his breath heaving. Victor didn’t speak as he moved to the ground beside Yuuri’s knees. He reached his hands up, using his thumbs to wipe away the tears Yuuri didn’t realize had fallen.

“Yuuri, my sweet, Yuuri,” His smile was so soft and so sad. Yuuri’s mind raced with all the ways he could respond to everything Yuuri had dropped on him in the last week.

“Just two weeks ago, I was set to marry you. I’ve had my vows written for  ages.  I kept having to cut stuff out because they were always too long. Christophe loved to laugh at me for being such a sap.” Yuuri felt guilt flood his body, unsure of where Victor was going with this. This must have shown on his face because Victor moved along.

 “You never got to hear them, for extremely valid reasons, but the point here is, every time I read through to cut things out, the same part always stayed. I don’t even need to read them to remember, I said,  ‘People change, that’s a part of life. I am not the same Victor I was 5 years ago and you are not the same Yuuri. We will continue to grow and change, this is inevitable, but, My Yuuri, I promise to fall in love with every single version of you until the day that I die.’”

He spoke in a change of voice to indicate he was quoting his own swords before returning to his normal inflection. “Sure, when I wrote that, I never thought about the possibility of you losing all your memories, but it’s all the same Yuuri. You, right now, are the man that I fell in love with all those years ago, and I could never be upset about having to fall for you again and again and again, but only if you want me to.”

“I do.”

Victor let out a shaky breath at Yuuri’s words and Yuuri let him pull him forward until they were only inches apart. 

“Can I hug you?” 

Yuuri nodded and Victor pulled him in. The sudden embrace caused Yuuri to crack and he wasn’t able to stop the tears running down his cheeks, but if the wetness on his shoulder was any hint, Victor couldn’t either. He heard Victor mumble “My Yuuri,” into his shoulder and Yuuri’s grip tightened.

He doesn’t know how long they sat like that. Any other time Yuuri felt it might have been awkward, but now it just felt  right . When they finally broke apart, Yuuri’s tea had gone lukewarm, but Victor happily reheated it. They stood in silence sipping at their tea. Yuuri’s eyes looked everywhere else, but Victor’s were trained on him, deep in thought.

When Yuuri finished his cup, Victor took it and silently rinsed it before placing it on the side of the sink.

“You must be tired.”

Yuuri nodded.

“The guest room should be made up. Get some rest and tomorrow I can take you on a proper first date.” Victor winked, ruffling Yuuri’s hair as he brushed past him. “I’ll be up for a bit so if you need anything at all.” Then he flopped onto his couch, turning his attention to his oversized dog. Yuuri smiled at the sight, letting the anxiety in his gut settle and dissipate before bidding Victor a quiet goodnight and walking down the short hall to the guest room. 

Despite the exhaustion settling deep in Yuuri’s bones he couldn't sleep. All he could think about was the fact that he was in Russia, and Victor wanted him here.

Victor wanted  him.

His stomach felt incredibly uneasy, but this time it was excitement, not anxiety.

Chapter Text

ictor sat on his couch, the TV playing at a low volume, but he wasn’t paying any attention to it. Makkachin laid her head happily in his lap and he smiled down at her. He didn’t know what god he pleased to have Yuuri here, to have Yuuri want him again, but Victor wasn’t going to question a single thing. At some point he dozed off, awoken by a light tapping on his shoulder. He blinked open to see no one until they spoke.

“Hey, you fell asleep on the couch.”

Victor would know that voice even in death. He turned to look behind him where Yuuri stood.

“So I did,” Victor said with a tired laugh, followed by a yawn as he faced forward again. He laid his head back onto the couch cushion to look at Yuuri again, “What time is it?”

“Little after 4 am.”

“Wow!” Victor sat back up and stood up, folding his blanket and laying it over the chair he sat in earlier that night. “Why are you awake?”

“Can’t go back to sleep and so I was getting some water,” Yuuri shrugged and Victor noticed the glass he was holding.

“I suppose it is about 10 am in Hatsetsu, but that’s still early for you,” Victor teased and he appreciated Yuuri’s blush in response. “You are more than welcome to watch TV, or read a book. Your favorites are on the second shelf, perfect opportunity to read them again.”

“Thanks. I think I’m gonna call my mom.”

“Okay,” Victor smiled with another yawn. “It’s still 4 am for me, so I’m gonna try to get a few more hours of sleep. Help yourself to whatever,” Victor had started to walk to his room before turning back to Yuuri and squinting, “And I mean it. Don’t act like some skittish guest afraid to even breathe the air . This is just as much your home as it is mine.” Victor smiled when Yuuri blushed again and nodded. “Goodnight, Lyubov.”

Victor was still smiling as he climbed into his bed. It still felt far too big to sleep in all alone, even when Makkachin sprawled herself across it, but Victor hoped in time Yuuri would rejoin him. He didn’t have long to think about it though, because less than a minute after climbing into his bed, he fell back to sleep. 

When he woke up again, the sun was shining through his large windows. He blinked in the light before padding into his bathroom. He quickly showered, blow dried his hair, and completed his overly complicated care routine. When he reemerged and dressed himself, the smell of warm food had flooded the air and he remembered why he hadn’t cared so much about waking up alone. 

Yuuri was moving around the kitchen as Victor made his way into the main room.

“Smells good,” He smiled as he sat on a chair at the island. Yuuri must not have realized Victor entered the room, because he slightly jumped at his voice and turned around.

“Oh, hey. Good morning.”

“Dobroye utro,” Victor replied in soft Russian as he watched Yuuri return to the meal, “What are you making?”

“Nothing special, just some eggs and ‘salo’ which the internet said was bacon?”

Victor nodded, “Pretty much. Is there coffee?”

“Oh, no I made green tea.”

“That works,” Victor smiled, and took the mug Yuuri poured him.

“Did you sleep okay?”

“I did.”

Yuuri smiled lightly.

“How was your mom?”

“Good. I mostly just let her know I made it okay.”

Victor didn’t reply, content to just sip his tea as Yuuri plated the food and handed him a plate. The food was good, really good, even if it was the simplest meal Yuuri could have cooked, and maybe it was just because Yuuri had cooked it. 

They sat at the kitchen island for a while after both of them had finished eating, just making comfortable small talk.

The rest of the day passed just as easily. Around 5pm, Victor excused himself to his bedroom. He prepared a bag of all his hair and face products before grabbing Yuuri's suit he had bought for him a few years ago out of the closet and carried it into the guest room and laid it on the bed then returned to the main room. 

“I’ll be back shortly, I laid some clothes out for you on your bed for tonight, we will leave at 7!”

Yuuri nodded where he sat on the couch as Victor left the apartment. He had 2 hours to prepare everything for their date and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t buzzing with anxiety. He wanted this to be absolutely perfect. 

Yakov grumbled when he saw Victor on the other side of the door, but let him in without argument. Victor couldn’t keep himself from blabbering about his date, and Yakov simply shook his head and called him an idiot. Victor primped himself in the guest bedroom until every hair on his head was in place and then he fretted over his suit. It wasn’t until Yakov was shooing him out the door that Victor realized how much time had passed. He was still able to swing by the floral shop to pick up the beautiful red bouquet he had ordered and reached his own apartment door by 6:58 p.m. He stood up straight and knocked on the door, knowing his silliness was going to fluster Yuuri made him all the more excited.

“Um, just a moment,” He heard Yuuri call from behind the door, followed by a, “Get back, Makka.” Victor heard the door unlatch as Yuuri opened it, already speaking before he saw who it was, “Sorry, Victor isn’t-” He paused when he saw Victor standing there, “Victor?”

“Good evening, Yuuri! These are for you,” He handed Yuuri the flowers and Yuuri’s face nearly matched the bright red of the bouquet. “Are you ready to go?”

“Oh, um,” Yuuri flustered, “Yeah, let me grab my coat.”

Yuuri left the door ajar as he shut his bedroom door and grabbed his coat from the chair. Victor used this moment to simply appreciate how good Yuuri looked in his suit. He was caught staring as Yuuri returned to the door.

“What,” Yuuri asked.

“Just looking at you,” He smiled.

“Oh,” Yuuri’s face blushed again and Victor wondered to himself how many times he would make him do that over the course of the night.

“Shall we?”

Yuuri nodded and followed Victor out the door. He idled in the hallway while Victor locked the door and they silently made their way down to the street and into the car that was awaiting them. 

When they arrived at the restaurant , Victor circled around the car to assist Yuuri out. The younger man blushing again. 

Victor spoke quick Russian to the host at the front before he and Yuuri were led to a private booth in the back part of the restaurant, Yuuri nearly gawking at the fine decor and luxury of the establishment. As they settled in, we’re handed their menus, and left alone, Yuuri spoke.

“Victor, this place is so…”

Victor smiled, “Only the best for our first date!” Yuuri blushed for a third time that evening, Victor mentally tallying it, before Yuuri turned to the menu. After a moment he frowned.

“It’s all in Russian.”

“Oh no, if only there was a handsome charming Russian man to read it for you,” Victor teased. 

“Really!? When is he getting here,” Yuuri teased back, and Victor gasped dramatically and feigned hurt. They fell into easy laughter and Victor helped guide Yuuri through the menu. 

They ordered a bottle of semi-sweet wine to share and chatted as they enjoyed their meals. They continued to talk freely and about everything long after their meal had finished, Yuuri taking his time to get to know Victor all over again and Victor sharing some of his fondest moments of their time together. It no longer hurt to reminisce on it, because he had Yuuri now. It didn’t matter if Yuuri didn’t remember the moments, he hadn’t remembered when they first met either. Now the time they had spent together simply became a happy part of Victor’s past, and the man in front of his future.

They finally left the restaurant when their waiter notified them they were closing soon. With the wine warming them, they decided to walk hand in hand back to the apartment, silently taking in the glow of the city. 

Makkachin showered them with an abundance of affection when they returned before Yuuri made his way to the couch as Victor fed his hyper dog. 

He joined Yuuri on the couch and they sat, their sides pressed together, despite the room on their opposing ends. Victor turned on Yuuri’s favorite film that he had actually seen over a dozen times, but now had only remembered seeing it once on the flight to Hasetsu. 

Halfway through, Yuuri dozed off against Victor and he carefully maneuvered them, laying Yuuri’s head down in his lap. Yuuri sleepily hummed and shimmed his head down onto Victor’s thigh. Victor let his hand softly trail through his black hair until the movie credits began to roll. He then slowly extracted himself from Yuuri, who grumbled in his sleep.

“I’ll be right back, Solnyshko. I’m going to take Makka out.” 

Yuuri grumbled again in response and Victor smiled before grabbing the lead and taking Makka to the park down the road. 

Victor watched her run around in the warm light, as he thought about the entire evening, his chest feeling warm and incredibly light. He never felt happier than he did having Yuuri back in his life, teasing him endlessly and grumbling anytime his sleep was disturbed. He missed it all so much. 

When he returned to his apartment, Yuuri was still cuddled on the couch, Makkachin quickly bounded over to him and kissed his face. Makka wasn’t safe from Yuuri’s grumpiness though as he groaned incoherent Japanese at the dog and turned his head.

Victor shooed Makka and crouched down to run his hand through Yuuri’s hair.

“Come on, my Yuuri, let’s get you to bed.”

Yuuri grumbled a fourth time and blinked sleepily as he let Victor pick him up bridal style and carry him into the guest room. They both knew Yuuri was more than capable of getting himself ready for bed but he didn’t fight Victor as he happily helped a blushing Yuuri out of the remnants of his suit until only his white undershirt and black boxers remained. He set Yuuri’s glasses down on the bedside table and helped him pull the covers up. Victor fought the urge to leave a kiss on Yuuri’s head but as he pulled up and away, something stopped him. He turned back to where Yuuri was grasping his wrist and waited.

“Can you-“ Yuuri started before pausing and starting again, “Will you stay with me?”

Yuuri dropped Victor’s hand after asking so Victor used this opportunity to brush Yuuri’s hair back from his forehead, answering with an, “Of course,” followed by a, “Let me just get ready for bed.” Yuuri nodded sleepily as Victor smiled and returned to his own room to change into a thin t-shirt and sleep pants. He went through the shortest possible version of his nightly routine and invited Makka to follow him into the guest room. 

Yuuri was dead to the world by the time Victor returned but he didn’t mind. He simply slid into the bed, and studied Yuuri’s face until he followed after.

Chapter Text

Victor woke up to the sound of quiet whines. He took a moment for his eyes to adjust before he registered the noise as Makkachin, pawing lightly at his side of the bed.

“Need to go out, girl?”

Makkachin’s tail thumped harder on the ground as Victor smiled. He turned back to where his boyfriend was lying, still fast asleep, his hair a mess on the pillows. Victor would never get tired of calling him that. He leaned over and kissed Yuuri’s forehead softly before finally climbing out of bed and tending to his dog. 

Victor took his time to truly appreciate the full apartment again. It took Yuuri a while to finally be comfortable taking up space in their home, but now it was back to how it had been all those years ago and Victor couldn’t have been happier really.

His walk with Makkachin was chilly, the Russian winter finally fizzling out as spring, if you could call it that, began to set in. The cold didn’t bother Victor though, having been born in the middle of said Russian winter, but he knew Yuuri looked forward to the warmer weather.

Victor had expected Yuuri to still be fast asleep when he returned but to his surprise, Yuuri was mulling around the kitchen, Makkachin instantly bounding over to him. 

“Smells good,” Victor said as he rounded the island to come up behind Yuuri and wrap himself around his waist, leaning down to rest his head on his shoulder. “What’s the occasion?”

“Do I need to have an occasion to cook breakfast for myself and my clingy boyfriend?”

“Yes,” Victor said with a smile, Yuuri shrugging him off so he could plate the food. 

Yuuri shook his head with a sigh and a smile, “If you must know, I thought we could go out today.”

“Ooh?”

“Nothing fancy, just maybe some shopping and see some sights. I’ve been here a year and I still haven’t properly seen the Winter Palace.”

“Is ‘Victor’s Palace’ not good enough for you,” Victor said, feigning insult.

“I’m starting to wonder what I see in you,” Yuuri said, taking his seat at the table.

“Maybe that I’m handsome and funny and charming and sweet and did I say handsome? Worth noting twice.” Victor smiled as he sat down next to Yuuri.

“I think it’s your dog, actually,” Yuuri said as he fed a small piece of egg to Makkachin.

Victor scowled, turning his attention to Makkachin as he happily took his treat to his bed, “Traitor.”

From there Yuuri and Victor chatted over their breakfast, and long after both their morning beverages were finished. Yuuri excused himself to put his plate in the sink and go get ready, but Victor followed right at his heels, determined to make the affair ten times harder than it needed to be by distracting Yuuri. They finally bundled up and made it out of the apartment in double the time it should have taken and walked hand and hand to the metro.

Victor spent what he knew Yuuri would clarify as ‘too much time’ at the high end shopping center before they made their way to the famous Winter Palace. Victor spent most of the tour adoring Yuuri’s looks of wonder at the gold trim and luxurious decor and architecture of the building, making more than enough jokes about how it was a place fit only for Yuuri. 

They followed the tour with dinner and mulled wine. Not nearly enough to get drunk off of but enough to keep them happy and warm as they made their way through the market held in the square. At the far end was a temporary ice rink, which Victor managed to pull Yuuri out onto and Victor dramatically clung to Yuuri claiming he would ‘fall and die’ if he didn’t, to which Yuuri replied to with, “Do I get your life insurance?”

“Only if you marry me first.”

Yuuri’s response to the rebuttal to his joke made him stumble, causing Victor to in turn fall onto the cold ice, and he couldn’t even care about how wet his pants were now or how much his ass would hurt later when Yuuri burst into a fit of laughter.

They made their way back to the apartment after that, Yuuri now apologizing profusely as Victor whined about how sore he was.

They changed into their lounge wear separately and Victor brewed them some hot cocoa before they settled onto the couch for the evening.

They picked out a film and laid silently against each other, the cold of the day finally melting away at their proximity.

They conversed lightly throughout the first half of the movie before Victor felt Yuuri’s body relax, a tell-tale sign he was growing drowsy. Victor felt the pull himself, which was why he was unsure if Yuuri had really spoken to him.

“Would you marry me?” It was spoken so softly from where Yuuri was laying between Victor’s legs, his head on his chest, face turned away.

“What?”

Yuuri buried his head into his T-shirt and mumbled, “Forget I asked that.”

“No, no, I just want to be sure I heard you right.” Victor had sat up slightly, encouraging Yuuri to lift his head and look at him. “Not because of what you asked, but just because I can’t imagine why you think I wouldn’t .” Victor smiled. “We were engaged, remember?”

Yuuri smiled, but it didn’t meet his eyes, “I know but I guess I mean, would you marry me? ”

“The answer is still the same, Moy Lyubov. In a heartbeat.” Yuuri looked as if he was going to interrupt with some argument to this, so Victor continued, “I meant it when I said I’d love every version of you. I would be just as honored to marry you as I was 5 years ago, and if you fell and hit your head again and became a whole new Yuuri, I would be just as honored to win him over and marry him as well.” Victor tilted his head forward so his forehead rested against Yuuri’s as he smiled at him, “Though I would prefer you didn’t.” This caused a light laugh out of Yuuri and Victor’s chest fluttered as he pulled back and tilted his head. “Hm. Are you proposing to me, Katsuki Yuuri?”

Yuuri’s cheeks flushed but he didn’t shy away. Victor gasped dramatically, “You are!”

“Victor,” Yuuri groaned, smiling as he tucked his head back against Victor’s chest. They sat in silence for a few moments before Victor broke it.

“I would, by the way. Marry you. If that’s what you wanted.”

Yuuri didn’t reply immediately. Victor felt like he could hear his head processing every possible outcome and worst case scenario. Suddenly, Yuuri sat up, turning so he was facing Victor and pulled at something under his shirt. Victor’s breath caught in his throat when Yuuri pulled a chain with his ring on it.

“Mari sent this to me last week. It’s weird, it was the first time wearing something from that time period that didn’t feel wrong …”

“Yuuri-”

“I was going to say something sooner but I was so worried you wouldn’t want to or something I know I shouldn’t have thought… I just can’t help it.” Yuuri looked towards the floor and Victor reached up to cup his cheek and tilt his head back so he was looking at Victor again.

“You don’t have to explain your anxiety to me. It hasn’t changed in the past 8 years,” He smiled. Victor tapped Yuuri, signaling for him to move so he could stand. He walked across the room to wear his wallet sat on the island counter. He pulled his engagement ring out from one of the folds before returning to Yuuri. He knelt down on the ground, reaching up to remove the necklace from around Yuuri’s neck and slipping the ring off. Next, he pulled Yuuri’s hand up, slipping the ring on before kissing over it. “I would love to marry you, Yuuri.”

Yuuri smiled as he accepted the ring from Victor’s hand and slid it onto his finger. Once he deemed it secure he threw his arms around Victor and kissed him, Victor having no other option in his own head than to return it with just as much love and adoration.

Chapter Text

The trip to Hatsetsu was exhausting as always, but it was far more emotionally and mentally comfortable than it had been the last time they had made the trip. Victor couldn’t believe that 4 years ago he was both supposed to be marrying Yuuri and almost lost him forever. Now his fiance was laying with his head against his shoulder, chest rising and falling evenly as he slept through the movie they had insisted they watch.

A young version of Victor had always assumed he would have been married by 30 and an older hopeless version of him thought he would never marry. Now he was freshly 35 and set to marry the man of his dreams… for the second time. Though not the way he would have liked it to go, the end result was the same so Victor was happy all the same. In just a week or so he would finally be Victor Nikiforov-Katsuki and he was buzzing with all the love that saturated every single part of his body.

At some point Victor joined Yuuri in sleep and he woke up some undetermined time later to the jolt of the plane landing on the runway. He decided to let Yuuri sleep through the landing until they were getting ready to unboard. Yuuri held his normal post-sleep grouchiness as Victor shooed him off the plane, ushered him to baggage claim and onto the train to Kyushu. Yuuri finally woke up enough to ask for a muffin Victor had stashed in their carry-on bag, which Victor happily obliged. 

Minako, a family friend of Yuuri’s, met them at the station to take them to Yuuri’s family’s Inn. Victor took their bags to their room and ushered Yuuri to the locker rooms to shower and then to the spring to soak the travel ache off, promising to join him soon. When he made it to the springs, Yuuri was sitting along the edge, still wearing a towel but dipping his toes in the steaming water.

“You didn’t get in?’

“Was waiting for you,” Yuuri replied in his regular, incomplete English. It was typical of a tired or jet-lagged Yuuri and Victor loved it.

Victor leaned down to kiss the top of his head as he stepped into the water, situating himself between Yuuri’s knees, hands gripping his waist.

“Come join me,” he smiled. Yuuri simply nodded, loosening the towel and letting Victor pull him into the water and onto his lap. Victor could tell the position embarrassed Yuuri when his cheeks flushed, but he didn’t protest, instead letting his body slump against Victor’s hold.

Victor was quiet as he and Yuuri sat in each other’s company, Victor’s hands applying pressure as they ran up and down Yuuri’s arms, torso and thighs. It would have been sensual, but for them this was just what they did. Yuuri showed his love in acts of service and Victor showed his in physical touch. Victor’s hand ran over Yuuri’s hand and he grasped it, pulling it above the water, their fingers interlocking, Yuuri’s gold ring catching in the light off the awning that covered the side of the Inn. He didn’t speak, instead just twisted his hand and ran his fingers around it. If Yuuri was awake and watching, he didn’t show it, allowing Victor to mindlessly twirl the ring in his finger. Eventually he did move, shifting in Victor’s lap and tilting his head up and to the side to look at him.

“We’ve been in a while we should probably…”

“Yeah,” Victor replied, shifting Yuuri to the seat next to him and pulling himself out of the water. He extended a hand to Yuuri who took it and let himself be pulled up and out of the steaming pool. 

They made their way back into the locker room, Yuuri clad in a towel around his waist, and Victor, as usual, as bare as the day he was born. 

He and Yuuri shared a shower stall to “conserve water,” and Yuuri sleepily laid his head against Victor, back to chest, as Victor silently washed his hair and body, before he tended to himself. 

They silently made their way to their room, which was really just Yuuri’s old room. Victor laid on the bed as he watched Yuuri shuffle around his room to prepare for bed, before joining Victor under the covers, both of them completely ignoring the fact it was only 8pm. 

Victor wasn’t really tired, but he knew Yuuri was. Victor was well acclimated to jet lag after all his years of traveling the world for shoots, but Yuuri had only ever traveled across time zones a handful of times. He was content to run his fingers through Yuuri’s damp hair as he laid on Victor’s chest. 

At some point Makkachin finally found her way to Yuuri’s room, nosing the door open and settling on Victor’s leg. He caught himself smiling at the sight of his little family curled up together in his favorite place to be. At some point, he dozed off as well.

—

Victor lived the next week in domestic bliss. Without any shoots to worry about or work for Yuuri, the two of them could spend their last week as bachelors just relaxing and helping prepare for their ceremony.

They had opted to hold the wedding at the inn, closing off the ceremony to only friends and family. Victor had hired one of his favorite photographers for the event, not having to pay a dime if he allowed her to share some “Nikiforov-Katsuki Wedding Exclusives” and with Yuuri’s permission, he enthusiastically agreed to.

Yuuri had become somewhat of a micro celebrity within the fashion community. His unintentional beauty caught the eye of photographers and designers when Victor drug him along to a shoot or posted photos of them on Instagram. Victor pitied his fiancés fans, as the man hadn’t posted a single photo since the week after he and Victor got engaged.

Their out of town guests began to arrive a couple days before the ceremony, but Phichit, to no one’s surprise, showed up first and much much earlier. Victor liked Phichit in any other circumstance but now he found himself competing for his future husband’s time and attention.

Anytime he brought this up as Phichit was ushering Yuuri out of the Inn, Phichit shooed him away with an unamused, but teasing, “You get the honeymoon.” Before the two of them left to get up to who knows what. 

Victor spent this time helping around the Inn. It never felt like work to him. Whoever he was assisting took to helping him with his Japanese and so really the time apart was productive. 

Chris arrived a day or two later.

Two nights before their wedding had been deemed their “Bachelor Parties.” Victor knew Chris and Phichit were each responsible for their respective best friend’s festivities and Victor was worried to say the least. He knew Phichit had planned a night out in Kyushu of dance clubs and drinking, “One Last Hoorah as fellow bachelors,” Phichit had proclaimed, but Chris was suspiciously quiet about their own festivities. Despite this, Victor wasn’t shocked when he too was drug out into the town. Since Victor had far less shame and far less history in the small town, he and Chris happily settled to stay in Hatsetsu and hit up the local bars. Victor was well gone by the time he and Chris, shockingly, made their way back to the Inn. Victor had turned to head to his room, slurring in search of Yuuri, but Chris grabbed him and directed him towards the old banquet hall he had stayed in when he visited. The lights were off and Victor was sitting down on the floor, his eyes covered. There was shuffling behind him, and giggling from multiple voices, however he sat patiently. Lights were turned on as he could see the glow through the thin mask, and then Chris was at his ear.

“Now Mon Cheri, I know how you feel, but I couldn’t have a bachelor party for you without the Christophe Giacometti special.”

Victor was well aware of the “Christophe Giacometti Special” which always consisted of a scantily clothed dancer in the preferred sex of the guest of honor. Victor never cared for this special himself. He could appreciate the skill and art of it, but outside of that he had always thought it just… awkward.

“Chris….”

“Niki, don’t you trust me.”

“No, I don’t.”

Christophe gasped and laughed, “I’m your best man for a reason,” was all he said as he tugged off Victor’s eye covering. Victor’s head pounded at the sudden light and he had to take a moment to blink before he could take in his surroundings.

The banquet hall has been decorated in fairy lights strung from the ceiling, and neon lights along the floor. Victor sat on his knees in the center of the floor about 5 feet from what appeared to be a makeshift stage, lights sat on either side angled at a sleek metal pole in the center. None of that was as important as the man kneeling in front of him.

“Yuuri~” He smiled.

“Hi, Vitya.”

Victor could tell Yuuri was like him, far from sober. He pulled Victor’s hand to his mouth, kissing his ring, before standing up and stepping to the pole.

Victor was absolutely mesmerized. Yuuri was clad in all black, covering him head to toe, and when he caught the light his body shimmered. His hair was pushed back out of his face and his glasses were nowhere to be found. Yuuri showed off strength Victor had never known Yuuri to have and he couldn’t look away. He heard a noise behind him and turned back to see Chris and Phichit standing by the door. Chris was politely enjoying Yuuri’s work as Victor was but Phichit was buzzing, camera held up to capture every moment. They both turned when they realized Victor’s eyes were on them, Phichit turning his camera to catch Victor’s face. He looked giddy, like a child in the world’s largest candy stop and Chris laughed and shook his head.

Victor turned his attention back to his gorgeous fiance as he finished his dance, smiling sheepishly at Victor, his face blushed with exertion.

“Solnyshko…” Victor said, standing up and crossing the room to Yuuri, cupping his hands on both his cheeks “That was BeautifulI !”

Yuuri’s face blushed even more as he smiled, “You think so?”

“Of course… where did you learn to…”

“College. Phichit drug me to lessons.”

“And I’m glad I did,” Phichit piped up from the back of the room.

Soon after, the pole disappeared and the foursome took to drinking more, dancing around the banquet hall to whatever played over their speakers. As the night started to wind down, Victor found himself laying his head on Chris’s knees as the other sat propped up on hands. Across the room from them, Phichit and Yuuri were dancing with one another.

“Well, did I do good?”

Victor pulled his eyes away from his future husband to look over at Chris.

“It appears I thought too lowly of you,” Victor replied with a smile and Chris nodded. “Thank you. It was absolutely perfect.”

“Of course, Mon Cheri,” Chris said with an air of sincerity Victor had never seen between them before. 

--

It was no shock to any of them that the four of them slept in the next morning, Victor and Yuuri helping each other nurse atrocious hangovers. 

Victor was the first to recover as he had drank significantly less than Yuuri, so while Yuuri dozed into the early afternoon, Victor helped the Katsuki’s welcome their guests. The Inn had shut down for the next couple days to leave room for wedding festivities and guests. 

Victor greeted his own guests which consisted of Yakov Feltsman, the only parental figure Victor had besides his future in-laws, a couple of work friends, and Yuri Plisetsky.

He wasn’t really shocked when the younger Yuri showed up. He was hostile at worst, but anyone with eyes could tell he had taken a liking to Yuuri after the two spent time together at Victor’s shoots and he knew Yuuri was fond of him as well. Victor had purposely forgotten to tell Yuuri he had invited the feisty blonde, so he looked forward to watching their reunion.

Sometime after 3, Yuuri finally joined them, Chirs and Phichit not far behind and they spent the remainder of the afternoon socializing with everyone until the rehearsal dinner that evening.

After it was all said and done, Victor and Yuuri found themselves alone in the springs, repeating their first night back, and retiring to Yuuri’s room once more. Victor sat flat on his back, Yuuri laying between his legs, head resting on his chest, arms wrapped around his body while Victor brushed his fingers through his hair. Neither of them could sleep.

“Vitya?’

“Mm.”

“Are you awake?”

“Mm.”

“I can’t sleep,” Yuuri didn’t turn to look at Victor as he spoke.

“Me neither. Is everything okay?”

“‘M anxious I think, but like…” Victor waited, letting Yuuri gather his thoughts. “A good anxious. Like I just want it to be tomorrow, you know?”

“I do.”

“This time tomorrow we will be married . I’m so scared but then I think, you’re gonna be there the whole time, and then I get to be yours officially and I just want to get married right now.”

Victor chuckled at Yuuri’s rambles.

“I understand completely, Solnyshko.”

Yuuri snuggled farther into Victor’s chest in response, and Victor tilted his head down to kiss his head. Letting his thoughts on Yuuri and their future run wild in his mind, until sleep finally found him.

Chapter Text

When Yuuri woke up the following morning still wrapped in Victor’s arms. Whether he managed to stay there all night or if Victor had woken up some indeterminable time before him and tugged Yuuri back to him, he didn’t know, nor did he care. Yuuri nuzzled farther into Victor’s chest, alerting him that he was awake.

“Good morning, Solnyshko,” Victor whispered.

Yuuri mumbled a response and Victor kissed his head. Yuuri turned in his arms so they were laying chest to chest, Yuuri’s arms coming up to offer a place for his head to rest. He looked at Victor incredulously.

“It’s our wedding day.” He said it as a fact and Victor smiled. 

“It is.” Yuuri blushed and buried his face into his arms. “We should probably get up soon.”

“Mmm, don’t wanna,” Yuuri mumbled, moving his arms and turning his head to lay flat on Victor’s chest.

“But Yuuri,” Victor whined, running his hand through Yuuri’s messy hair, “Don’t you wanna marry me?”

“We can do it right here.”

Victor laughed, before shifting to lift Yuuri, “Come on My Love, up.”

Yuuri groaned again and allowed himself to be moved so Victor could climb off the bed. Yuuri watched him disappear into the bathroom and return before moving around the room to make himself Victor Nikiforov Presentable for breakfast. When he was satisfied he turned to where Yuuri was bundled up in a blanket burrito.

“Yuuri,you haven’t even moved.”

“I’m ready.”

“Are you now?” Victor’s eyes flicked down to where Yuuri’s clothes from the night before sat strewn on the floor after he decided to forgo his usual pajamas and sleep in his underwear.

Yuuri grumbled under his breath again and nuzzled down into the blanket. Victor crossed to the bed and sat beside Yuuri, his playful mood falling away to something more serious.

“Is everything okay, Solnyshko?”

Yuuri popped his head out to meet Victor’s eyes. He swallowed before responding, “Of course,’ in the most convincing way he could, “I’m getting married to People Magazine’s 2014 ‘Sexiest Man Alive’”

This made Victor both laugh and blush as he leaned over and kissed Yuuri, “That’s only because you were in college and not parading yourself around in Calvin Klein’s and designer suits. They would have resigned the entire list.” Yuuri rolled his eyes and kissed him again. “Now, breakfast, please, before I waste away.”

“Okay, okay.” Yuuri threw back the covers and sat up as Victor moved to stand. “You go ahead, I’ll be right after you.”

“Okay,” Victor kissed his head and turned to leave.

When the door shut behind him Yuuri let out a sigh. He knew today was supposed to be the best day of his life, but the pit of anxiety in Yuuri’s gut was threatening to eat him whole. It didn’t matter how much he wanted this, it was still The biggest thing he has ever done in his life. There was no going back after this. He couldn’t even talk to Victor about it. If he knew how much the permanence of the commitment made Yuuri’s anxiety go haywire, he may think Yuuri doesn’t want him. That Yuuri thinks there is a future in which he won’t want to be with Victor. Yuuri couldn’t imagine that, but if his anxiety only focused on rational things it wouldn't be a disorder.

Instead he took a few deep breaths and decided to take the day one thing at a time. First step, get dressed. He grabbed a pair of sweatpants and shirt and made his way to the bathroom. He splashed water onto his face before meeting his own eyes in the mirror, his eyes falling onto a pale purple mark on his collarbone from a few nights prior. He smiled to himself as he remembered laying in on the plush pillows of their bed, still in his clothes from the day,  just  kissing Victor and how he had scolded him for the mark. Two being fought for control as he felt an overwhelming rush of disbelief that this was his life and total excitement, wishing he was marrying Victor already. He finished getting dressed, and making his way down to the dining area. Victor was sipping a cup of coffee and chatting with Mari. A steaming cup of green tea sat at the seat next to him and Yuuri ruffled Victor’s hair as he sank down next to him. Victor immediately leaned over to kiss his head before in a near whisper saying into his ear, “That’s my shirt.”

Yuuri took a sip and turned to him, “Oh, is it?”

“Looks better on you,” Victor smiled before taking a sip of his own coffee. 

“You two are disgusting,” Mari said in Japanese with no malice. Yuuri stuck his tongue out at her.

--

After breakfast, Victor and Yuuri were separated, and Yuuri hated it. His anxiety increased tenfold without Victor there. Superstition be damned. Phichit, Yuuri’s all-knowing best friend, was sure to keep Yuuri occupied at all times. If they weren’t preparing for the ceremony, they were playing video games or cards, anything that wouldn’t allow Yuuri to think. For the most of the day it worked, but as Yuuri finished getting dressed in his formal attire, the anxiety became overwhelming and he finally crashed. Phichit held him as he tried to calm him but nothing was helping him. After a while Phichit left Yuuri promising to be right back. Yuuri nodded and wiped his tears for the hundredth time. He felt so pathetic.

After a few moments there was a soft knock at the door before Victor’s voice carried through the door.

“Yuuri, everything okay?”

“Victor,” Yuuri said, his voice shaking. 

“Oh Yuuri,” Victor replied in understanding, “What’s wrong, My Love.”

“Oh you know,” Yuuri said with annoyance.

“Anxiety,” Victor said in understanding again. He didn’t need to see Yuuri shake his head.

“I just feel so stupid.”

“Why?”

“Because, I’ve wanted this for so long and now I’m like this and I don’t want you to-” Yuuri cut himself off as he started to tear up again.

“Don’t want me to what?”

“Think I don’t want this…” Yuuri said so quietly, Victor could barely hear it. 

The door handle moved as Victor moved into the room.

“Victor! We’re not supposed to-”

“It’s okay,” Victor said, crouching in front of Yuuri, “It’s just a silly superstition for arranged weddings… so the groom wouldn’t back out,” he added to clarify. “Western shit,” He said with a flail of his hand and a smile. “And I’m-” he cupped Yuuri’s face with his hands, “-not going anywhere.” Yuuri smiled through his tears. “Now I believe someone called my future husband ‘stupid?’”

“I said I feel stupid,” Yuuri replied, his eyes falling to his lap.

“Same difference, “ Victor said tilting his head up so their eyes met again. “I get it, Yuuri.” Yuuri opened his mouth as if to doubt him but Victor continued, “I may not understand to the same severity, but I feel so sick. It’s like there are a million butterflies swimming around in my stomach, but not in the love sick way… well a little in the love sick way,” He added with a smile.

“Moths,” Yuuri was what Yuuri replied, and Victor gave him a confused look. “Not butterflies, but moths.”

“Exactly, moths. But Yuuri, I want this more than anything. For so long. I was supposed to be long married to you by now, and I still love you just as much as I did that day. So anxiety be damned, I will love you my entire life, nothing could make me not want this, but I understand that fear.”

Yuuri swallowed, “Yeah.”

“I don’t care if we spend the entire wedding crying and throwing up, I will end this day as Victor Nikiforov-Katsuki.

“Ew,” Yuuri said with a laugh.

“You weren’t supposed to focus on that part,” Victor smiled.

“Kinda hard not to.”

“Would you still kiss me at the alter?”

“Hmm, I don’t know about that one, Vitya.”

“What happened to ‘In sickness and in health.’”

“I don’t think they mean I have to kiss you.”

“I think it does.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“I’m in love.”

“Same thing,” Chris said as he appeared in the doorway. “You lovebirds ready?”

“Just about, give us a few minutes?”

“Sure thing.”

As Chris walked back down the hall, Victor turned to Yuuri, “Feeling better?”

“I am.”

“Shall we?”

Yuuri nodded as Victor kissed his forehead and walked to the door. He turned back before shutting the door to say, “Aishiteru, Yuuri.”

----

Their wedding was a wonderful, messy Western Japanese-Russian hybrid. Yuuri wore his traditional attire and Victor a high end suit. He badu insisted Yuuri enter after him, and Yuuri thought the older man was going to collapse the minute Yuuri stepped into the aisle, cherry blossom petals falling around them both.

Yuuri’s anxiety had completely dissipated as it became time for them to share their vows.

“Katsuki Yuuri. My light. My life. My everything . Four years ago I sat with you in my cold St. Petersburg apartment and told you how I had written and rewritten my vows a million times because they were far too long everytime. There are not enough words in English, Japanese, and Russian combined nor enough time in one lifetime  to express to you the depth and volume of my love for you. You are everything I never thought I’d find and I will spend every moment of the remainder of my life showing you just a fraction of this love, continuing on into every life after this one. Maybe this moment is just me continuing on from some version of myself thousands of years into the past. Who knows,” Yuuri chuckled at this, tears stinging his eyes. “The point is, love isn’t a good enough word to describe how I feel for your soul. No matter what you look like, act like, or remember, I will love your soul Yuuri, for it is the other half of mine. There is nothing you can do to lose me, and I stand here at this altar, in front of everyone who means something to us, to promise to the world that this is true, because we both know, in reality, I promised you alone years ago.”

“Victor,” Yuuri whispered under his breath as tears began to fall. “How am I supposed to follow that,” Yuuri laughed, Victor and their audience joining them.

“Victor Mikhailovich Nikiforov,”

“Katsuki,” Victor whispered to him and Yuuri brushed a finger over his hand as he rolled his eyes. 

“Public displays of affection have never been my thing. You long know that by now, but today is special. You do so much for me, so for one day, I can set that aside to shout to the entire world, the extent of which I love you. You love me unconditionally, never once turning my faults on me, never once turning away. I know that not everyday will be perfect, because not every day has been perfect, but I don’t want perfect, I don’t need perfect. I want you, I need you, and this , this is as close as it gets. I want to spend every spring at our dining room table filing taxes with you, I want to shout across the apartment when you forget to do the dishes again . I want to fall asleep and wake up with you. I want to tell you you look as handsome as you do right now when you cry over your bald spot in 10 years. Just as you have loved every messy version of me, I want to love every messy day with you, because lord knows you’ve never been messy a day in your life,” The audience laughed again, and behind Victor, Chris was nodding in agreement. “I cannot wait to see what the crazy world has in store for us next, and I look forward to tackling it all with you by my side, and because I never say it enough… Thank you. Thank you for just being your dramatic, loving, passionate self.”

Victor had practically burst into tears, and Yuuri wasn’t fairing much better. They exchanged the rings that had adorned their fingers for years, except now as Yuuri turned Victor’s in his fingers he could see they were engraved. He made a mental note to look at that later. They were pronounced husbands and Yuuri sweeped Victor into a sweet, passionate kiss in front of everyone they loved, someone in the audience whistled. 

The reception was calm, as some traditional Japanese receptions are. Everyone ate together and shared stories before Yuuri stood up to read the letter he had written for his family. 

He tapped a fork on his glass to gather the attention of their guests. He began to read from the letter he had written, thanking his family for all their unconditional support over the years with his travels abroad, his injury, and helping guide him back to Victor when he had gotten in his own way.

He moved on to thank his family for being one to Victor. He knew today was rough on an old wound that was Victor’s family. Both his parents died when he was young, the closest family he had was Yakov, but now he had the Katsukis. They loved all his antics and entertained his stories. They loved him even when Yuuri didn’t know who Victor was. Yuuri was not a condition to their relationship, just the start of it, and for that he was forever grateful.

When he took his seat again Victor was in tears and Yuuri wiped them away with a kiss to his cheek.

They concluded the formal reception with a dance. Everyone pushed the table aside as Victor led Yuuri to the makeshift dance floor, and pulled him in when the song played over the speaker.

The world faded away to just them. Victor hands around Yuuri’s waist and Yuuri’s around his neck, their faces just breathe apart and they took a moment to just lose themselves in each other.

“You really think I’m going to have a bald spot in 10 years?”

Yuuri laughed.

“Yuuri,” Victor whined with a pout.

“Victor,” Yuuri teased back. “So what if you do, I’ll love you all the same.”

“You’re so mean to me.”

“You love it.”

“Do I?”

“You do.”

“You’re right, I do.”

They kissed softly as they spun around the dance floor. 

“I’m so happy,” Victor whispered.

“Me too.”

“I love you. So much.”

“I love you more.

“Impossible.”

—

When the music ended they lingered just a little longer, neither of them wanting to pull away. They did however before the celebration dispersed, those interested in the after party agreeing to meet in 30 minutes.

Victor and Yuuri enjoyed the party well enough but spent most of the night lost in one another, whether it was through slow songs or fast rhythms, twirling each other around, or sitting at their table caught in quiet conversation and gentle touches. Steering clear of all the alcohol, this was a night they wanted to remember in full. 

Victor didn’t pretend not to notice all the video and photos Yuuri had been taking and when he gave Yuuri a gentle look he shrugged his shoulders saying, “I never want to forget this.” Victor just smiled with a nod and kissed his cheek before allowing himself to take photos and videos of Yuuri as well. 

They excused themself long before the party was over, mostly exhausted from the day’s festivities but also itching to just be alone together for the first time as husbands.

Victor walked with Yuuri hand and hand to their room, where they left lingering kisses and soft touches as they helped each other out of their attire, being sure everything was neatly laid out on the surface of the desk before making their way to their bed.

They shared kisses and touches and so much love that Yuuri thought his chest may explode from the weight. As he laid on Victor’s chest, twirling his ring he remembered the inscription.

“What did you put on the rings?”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re engraved.” 

“Oh, that.” Victor pulled his hand from Yuuri’s and pulled off his ring, turning it in the light so he could see the kanji for “aishiteru” engraved in the metal. When he pulled off his own it read, “Y tebya lyublyu,” in soft cyrillic.