Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

16:44 PM

Scarlet bug: roll call

Chat noir: Nyan~

Scarlet bug: .

Hand me the miraculous 

Chat noir: UH

NO

BRO

LET ME BE ME LOL

Honeybee: Omg just kiss

Chat noir: no

I have a boyfriend 

Scarlet bug: s a m e

Honeybee: damn must be nice

I'm bi myself 

Scarlet bug: LMAO

Dw you'll find someone 

Honeybee: yeah in like 30 years

They'll love me after my hair falls out from stress and giving up

Scarlet bug: You can't give up till I do

Shadow moth waits for no man

He might be transphobic 

Chat noir: but he transforms people-

Scarlet bug: THIS BITCH

Honeybee: I love it here 

Now bug give me tea

Scarlet bug: my ex bestie keeps trying to act like my friend so I'll do shit

And I was like "bitch no"

Then she called me a slur

So I walked away before the demons told me to grab her by the hair

Chat noir: not all heroes wear capes

Some wear pride buttons 

Scarlet bug: I wear my boyfriends hoodie cause I'm COLD

Honeybee: AS YOU FUCKING SHOULD

Scarlet bug: this boy never even wears Hoodies why does he need them 

Imma take them all 

Chat noir: lol yeah steal his shit

Scarlet bug: I SHALL

Also

How the fuck do we still have a bunch of akumas 

Cece literally switched sides

Honeybee: WHY DO YOU

UGH

Chat noir: emotions bug boy

Emotions

Scarlet bug: I miss the days you called me cute shit ngl

Chat noir: we became gay and happy

Deal with crack noir

Scarlet bug: CRACK NOIR-

Honeybee: we're the protectors of Paris-

Scarlet bug: mother fucker we're 15

We can be goofy 

Bro

I got a request for some GC

With my whole class...

N o

Chat noir: LMAO 

Honeybee: I wanna know how someone got my number-

Scarlet bug: OMG YOU GOT LEAKED????

Honeybee: HELP

I CAN'T BE NICE THEY ALL STILL HATE ME LOL

Scarlet bug: just 

Give them what they want

Chat noir: what if someone wants a mcrib

Scarlet bug: you can mcrib deez nuts 

Honeybee: GOOD FUCKING BYE

Chat noir: I CANT

I CANT

NO

GOD MY DAD IS IN THE ROOM I CAN'T EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO HIM

HELP ME

Scarlet bug: :P

Chapter Text

19:50 PM

Class rep: I didn't make this but ok???

Roll call please 

Buttercup: Hiiiiiiiiiii its meeeeeeeeeeee

DJ insomnia: Nino here

Queen B: I'm here

Wait do we have to put names?

Class rep: if you wanna specify yourself you can

Queen B: Oh

Well y'all know me

Sweater vest: hi chloe!!! Its brina! 

Queen B: OMG HI

Paint cans: What up

Cyborg: hey

Yes I'm Max T^T

Fish luv me: HEY GUYS

Roller Gays: hey Kim

Fish luv me: hey alix

Tree main: Hi! Its myleene!

Rosie posies: YOUR NAME IS SO CUTE

Tree main: NO YOU 

Jewels: h i 

Reporter #1: Why is Marinette here?

Class rep: 1 its Marin

2 I was invited by who made the group

3 what the fuck happened to Hello?

Teddy bear: lol

Also I'm Ivan Myleene chose my name

Class rep: awwwww

Tree main: :>

Reporter #1: who the hell would invite you?

Class rep: it's a class chat???

You'd need the class?????

And I'm the rep????

So someone????

Foxy: oh I think I did

Class rep: .

Oh the irony 

Buttercup: AGDIDHEOEHEOEHENEND DUDE

Class rep: I WASN'T EXPECTING IT

kinda

Ok no I totally expected it

Queen B: THE DENIAL 

Paint cans: the literal thought process

Reporter #1: Lila

You invited her?

Foxy: Him

Class rep: I can't believe I'm saying this

Thank you Lila

DJ insomnia: OMG PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN

Class rep: STFU

DJ insomnia: NO WAY DUDE

Class rep: BETRAYAL 

Buttercup: LMAO

Foxy: it's a class chat like he said

And I realized the admin didn't invite him

And he is class rep Alya

Reporter #1: well yeah

Class rep: well yeah?

You supported my campaign 

:/

Roller gays: awkward 

Foxy: omg I forgot to say hi to Adrien 

Buttercup: .

Technically 

Ya just did

Queen B: OML

Foxy: oh I guess I did :>

How are you

Buttercup: I'm fine

I've been minding my business and making out with my boyfriend 

Foxy: with your what

Reporter #1: YOURE GAY????

Buttercup: p a n

DJ insomnia: bro I was left out

You got a man

Buttercup: YUH

AND HE CUDDLES ME

Rosie posies: lol he's living his best life

Buttercup: I SO AM

Foxy: You never mentioned this before???

Buttercup: cause it's my business 

I'm not out to everyone

And my BF didn't wanna share anything yet

Foxy: sounds manipulative 

Buttercup: for keeping it private???

I'm a model

Do you know the sort of outrage that could happen if the world knew The Adrien Agreste is Pansexual and dating a boy

Reporter #1: then why date him in the first place

Buttercup: the same reason you wear false eyelashes 

Because I can

Fish luv me: BRO NOT THR FALSIES 

Reporter #1: HOW DARE YOU

Buttercup: sorry I don't talk to bitches who don't respect pronouns and gender

My father respects it more than you and he's absolutely confused by it all

Queen B: omg Gabriel Agreste the ally?!

Sweater vest: he has to he he's in fashion 

Queen B: SO TRUE

Class rep: damn

Respect 

DJ insomnia: imagine that

The grumpiest bitch in town is an ally

Jewels: Probably because most of the town is gay

Hear me out

Class rep: our literal teacher 

Foxy: PAUSE

WHAT

Class rep: OH WAIT YOU DIDN'T 

LILA

SHE'S A LESBIAN 

Foxy: WHEN THE FUCK

DJ insomnia: she's always been one????

Oh wait you're not here a lot no wonder you didn't notice

Foxy: ISNT SHE PREGNANT???

Teddy bear: oh boy 

Who's gonna tell her-

Rosie posies: I got this

Lila to DMs we go

Foxy: ?????!?!?!?

Reporter #1: so agreste 

Do we know this boyf 

Buttercup: yes actually 

But he doesn't like you

Reporter #1: HUH

Class rep: oh yeah

Hi

I'm Adrien's boyfriend 

Nice to meet you

Bitch

Several people are typing...

Reporter #1: LEMME GET THIS STRAIGHT 

YOU'RE DATING MARINETTE DUPAIN CHENG 

Buttercup: Well no

I'm daiting Marin Dupain cheng 

Have been for months now

Class rep: like 4

Buttercup: and countingggg 

Reporter #1: HOW THE FUCK

Class rep: well ya know how I got something called therapy 

And a fucking grip

That

Also we're bestiesssss 

Buttercup: I rizzed him with my comedy skills and lack of social cues 

Fish luv me: damn Adrien

Whatever floats your boat

Buttercup: it very much floats

But Alya's will sink if she doesnt respect my boyfriend's pronouns and gender

Reporter #1: is that a threat

Buttercup: and promise

:>

Jewels: but yeah Alya

We know Marin isn't the best at times but

Don't misgender him

Class rep: T<T

Cyborg: SO DO NONE OF US HAVE REAL EMOJIS 

Queen B: No we do

But this 

:>

Is so fun lol

Foxy: WAIT WHAT

Class rep: hiiiiiiii

Foxy: YOU'RE DATING???

Buttercup: Happily

why?

Foxy: I just wasn't expecting it to be someone in class

Buttercup: what do you want me to date chat noir?

Because he's fucking FINE

Class rep: I won't disagree

But

I dunno 

Buttercup: I'll allow it once 

Because yes

Class rep: OMG

Queen B: Adrien: dont Simp over other guys

Also adrien: CHAT NOIR

Buttercup: HEAR ME OUT

Sweater vest: No

Scarlet bug >>

Buttercup: YEAHHHHHH

Class rep: AHDIDHEOSHDJRHEISHEHEN

Jewels: LMAO

Cyborg: scarlet bug made us all gay be honest 

Foxy: Not me

Class rep: But

Do you understand what we're saying

Foxy: .

Yeah actually 

Class rep: GUYS WE DID IT

SHE'S INFECTED

Queen B: AHSISHSJS D MARI

DJ Insomnia: omg lila I'm so sorry

You got the queer touch

Foxy: the

W h a t

Rosie posies: s i g h

I got this

Roller gays: LMAO

Chapter Text

Buggy cat

02:40 AM

Cat: Hey Mari

Question

Bug: Yeah?

Cat: you mentioned therapy and getting a grip????

What's up with that 

Bug: Oh yeah

Uh back when Chloe was bullying me her and Kim pranked me when I went on a pool date with him  and I opened a box full of spiders

It gave me trust issues and I hate spiders

The get a grip part was me just manning up and actually trying to be friends with you because part of me was still hesitant with you and chloe being best friends

I thought that if I trusted you, you were gonna pull some shit on me

Cat: o h

Bug: yeah but I'm glad I gave you a chance and got to know you Adrien

Really

Cat: me too

And I'm glad that you and chloe seem to be working things out

Bug: Yeah lol

She really is a nice girl, but I swear If she gives me another bedazzled self defense weapon

Cat: BEDAZZLED????

I WANT A BEDAZZLED SELF DEFENSE WEAPON

WHERE DID SHE FIND THEM

Bug: I have no clue but I have a taser and pepper spray 

What if she custom makes them-

Cat: GASP

BRO SHE PROBABLY DOES HOLD ON

2 rich bitches and a lost child

Model pop: CECE YOU UP

Queen: only for you 2

What's up

Model pop: do you custom bedazzle the self defense stuff

Queen: Yeah why?

Mar mar: he wants something bedazzled 

Queen: WELL OF COURSE

YOU WANT A POCKET KNIFE?

Model pop: YES PLEASE

Mar mar: I didnt get a pocket knife 

Queen: safety reason

Mar mar: but adrien can be trusted with one???

Queen: .

Good point can he?

Maybe none of us should have one lol

Model pop: true

Bro should I wear eyeliner tomorrow?

Queen: Yessssssssss

Mar mar: You should wear it with the outfit you told us about the other day

Queen: YEAHHHHHH

ADRIEN GONNA SLAY

Model pop: ANEHDOSHEKDHEJHSJSHEN

Can't wait to show my dad what else is in the closet besides me

Mar mar: D A M N

Queen: LMAO

I THOUGHT HE KNEW

Model pop: oh no he definitely does

But he hasn't seen me wear makeup or skirts

Mar mar: me remember when you picked up a nail polish bottle and he took it

Looked at it

Walked out

And came back with a new bottle

Model pop: YEAH AND HE LOOKS AT YOU LIKE

"Remember this Marin, its important for you're future career"

HUH

but then again he took Walmart polish away from me so

Mar mar: Yeah but that bottle he gave you looks like it cost more than your house

Queen: oh I love that brand

But it takes forever to get the color I want in stock lol

Model pop: THR FACT THAT YOU KNEW THE BRAND FROM MARINS MESSAGE

IS SHOCKING 

Queen: I'm rich Adrien 

I know a lot of brands that cost more than your house

Mar mar: Imagine 

Imma stick with Walmart brand so I can afford my fabrics 

Nail art can suffer for fashion 

Queen: the real sacrifices 

Model pop: Omg Nino's blowing up my phone

Does no one in our class sleep

Queen: HIS NAME IN GC IS DJ INSOMNIA-

Model pop: oh no

Marin

Mar mar: lila

Model pop: yeah

And Nino's playing 50 questions

And Alya's trying to text you

Mar mar: I blocked her when she called me a slur like 3 weeks ago

So

Yeah

Queen: the GC is a mess and I guess you turned off the @ thing too

Mar mar: Oh lord

This is gonna take all night

Why don't we ever sleep

Model pop: sleep is for normal students

Queen: big agree 

Chapter Text

03:10 AM

Akuma class chat

Reporter #1: WHERE IS THE LITTLE BITCH

Rosie posies: Alya calm down we're not escalating the situation 

Reporter #1: SHE STARTED IT 

Foxy: He Alya 

Stop misgendering people just cause you're mad

Jewels: ^^^^

Buttercup: wassup my fellow classmates 

What's the problem 

Queen B: exactly 

It's so early lol

DJ Insomnia: where's Marin?

Class rep: Sorry I turned off the @ thing because of a certain someone trying to blow up my phone

What's going on?

Reporter #1: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING SHIT ABOUT LILA'S DEAD GRANDMOTHER 

Class rep: once again what happend to hello?

Also dead grandmother????

Lila literally just told us she only has one grandmother and she was staying with her while doing charity work in Rome

Also I didn't say anything to Lila I never talk to her

Reporter #1: BULLSHIT

SHE SHOWED SCREENSHOTS

Class rep: dude

What

Clearly they're fake I never talk to Lila 

I literally don't have her number or anyway to contact her besides this chat and in person

Cyborg: you could've gotten her number from here

Class rep: but I didn't 

I have no contact with her whatsoever 

Reporter #1 sent 3 images

Reporter #1: stop lieing

Class rep: that's not even my number 

Some random number talks shit about your friends grandma who's apparently dead

And you assumed it was me

Wow

You literally have my number even though I blocked you that's not it

Teddy bear: He's right I just checked it

Jewels: that really isn't Marin's number 

Omg why didn't we think to compare it sooner

I'm sorry Marin

Reporter #1: oh cut it out

You could've used a text app

Class rep sent one video file

Class rep: that's a screen recording of every app on my phone and every purchased app not downloaded 

It's not me

Besides unless the grandma she's staying with just passed

In that case sorry for your lost

But yeah that's not me and she just told her shes with her 

Paint cans: Yeah Lila aren't you in Rome

Foxy: I am

Tree main: then your grandmother just passed?!

Oh my goodness are you ok?

Foxy: I

Buttercup: oh I see

Lila is your lieing disease acting up again?

Because this is a rather harsh lie

Class rep: and if she did really just pass it's awful that someone would say those things but

Shouldnt you see a doctor

I can't imagine how the disease will affect your charity work if you lie to someone without intention and it ruins your connections

Just being concerned here

Rosie posies: oh that would cause a problem!

Foxy: it was a simple mistake honestly

Class rep: my number is on here

All you had to was check it

You just assumed that it was it me

And told everyone it was me

Causing a situation 

Sweater vest: a rather big one

I had to help Max remove all Alya's offensive messages 

Cyborg: which reminds me

Alya if you pull that shit again I'm kicking out and reporting you to the principal

That's not cool

Reporter #1: oh please 

Class rep: oh please nothing

If you can't be respectful he can kick you out

He's the admin

DJ insomnia: yeah chill Alya

That wasn't cool

Also marin sorry you got woken up for this

Class rep: it's fine I was already up and texting chloe and adrien 

Rosie posies: Wait so who did send Lila those messages

Buttercup: I mean Lila works with charities

Maybe someone found her number off a volunteer form

Or it's someone else from school 

But yeah Alya why couldn't you be calm about it like everyone else was

Hell even Lila was calm about it

Class rep: who cares

We know it wasn't me and that Lila needs to report the number and block them

I'm going to bed 

Queen B: oh also

Reporter girl

Stop trying to send offensive messages to Marin

Or you'll deal with me

Reporter #1: what gonna call your daddy on me?

Queen B: I don't think I need the mayor's help for cyberbullying and the usage of slurs but he might be able to find me someone who does handle that

Also @cyborg way ahead of you

I already sent screenshots to school faculty 

Cyborg: OH!

Rosie posies: chloe putting in work

Good to know she's looking out for Marin like that

Queen B: yall might choose sides with this but I don't 

No matter the situation no one deserves messages like that

And lila I'm sorry about your grandmother if that's true I hope whoever REALLY sent those messages leaves you alone to grieve 

Sweater vest: ^^^^

Fish luv me: What the fuck did I miss

Foxy: just a big misunderstanding Kim 

Nothing too serious already handled 

Buttercup: Lila don't forget to apologize to Marin tomorrow though

Fish luv me: Apologize?

Foxy: I got confused with a phone number and thought it was marin sending me mean messages

And Alya started getting aggressive 

Reporter #1: You called me crying 

Foxy: I know

But they're right you shouldn't misgender him and use slurs

Especially since it ended up being a misunderstanding 

I know me and Marin don't get along but it'll be harder now that your way of defending me is being so awful to him

Buttercup: dont worry Marin's not like that

He won't fault you for someone else's bullshit ok

But he'll probably need some time to process ok

Foxy: alright!

Thanks adrien :>

Buttercup: np 

Now imma go to bed b4 my dad finds out I'm up past midnight 

Jewels: lol

DJ insomnia: lmao hurry bro don't get caught!

Night gang

Rosie posies: night night

Cyborg: byeeeeeeeeee

Chapter Text

21:58 PM

Lila: Alya

Can I talk to you about something 

Alya: sure girl what's up

Lila: its about the hero renga rouge

Alya: .

Like what?

Lila: Scarlet bug said she can't be trusted that's why she hasn't been around

I think it has something to do with when she tried to attack me

Alya: .

Wait

A super hero

Attacked you????

Girl

Lila: I'm telling the truth!

Why would I lie?

Alya: excuse me for just a moment 

Closed chat

22:02 PM

Alya: You don't have to forgive me

Or like me

But we gotta talk 

Marin: I forgot this chat existed

Ok what is it

Alya: you were right about Lila

I'm a fucking bitch

And I'm stupid

Marin: .

How the fuck did you come to this conclusion?

Alya: I'm rena rouge

Marin: ARE YOU EVEN ALLOWED TO SAY THAT-

Alya: I literally am!

And she claimed rena attacked her

I didn't

Marin: well fuck

k

Alya: wait why do you believe me so easily-

Marin: .

Hey funny story

Alya: MARIN-

Marin: I already knew-

Alya: HOW

WHAT

WAIT DON'T TELL ME I DESERVE NO TRUST

Ok but like

How

Marin: Um

Hold on lemme ask the council 

Alya: COUNCIL???

Marin: you've just been unbrainwashed

You called me a slur

You misgendered me

And I have like altering information and we just started talking like 4 minutes ago 

Alya: what are you like actually friends with scarlet bug lmao

Marin: w e l l

Alya: SHUT THE FUCK UP

WHAT

IS THAT HOW I GOT THAT INTERVIEW???

Marin: well it's more complicated than that

Um

Yeah lemme just uh

Marin added 2 people

Marin: SHE'S COME TO HER SENSES

Adrien: REAL SHIT?!

Chloe: YOU'RE RENA ROUGE?!

Adrien: lol I already knew this

Alya: HOW THE FUCK

Adrien: Oh wait

OH

Um

Well fuck ok how do we do this

Marin: Help us take down Lila 

Alya: and I'll get answers after or is this like if I know I'll die?

Marin: verging over to the second one

Alya: HUH

Chloe: ok so

We know how I have contact with scarlet and chat

But like I dunno about the other 2

Adrien: I was aspik 

Alya: OH MY GOD

Marin: mutimouse

Alya: .

I'm gonna fucking bash my head in

WHAT

Marin: yeah and I'm like

An informant

Or something

That's why I knew

Alya: cryptic

Marin: FOR FUCKS SAKE

Atone for your bullshit

Help us with Lila

And fix the lady blog 

Complete these trials and I'll determine how much you can get trusted

Alya: ok

But if you're like an informant for Scarlet bug why did you tell like 3 people

Marin: I know identities

And because multimouse is retired no one expects the clumsy kid to know shit

Adrien: And he doesn't tell us everything 

Alya: ok

I think?

Ya know what I'm just gonna go fix shit and see what happens

Marin: cool 

Tell anyone what happened here and Hawkmoth will be the least of your worries 

Alya: IM NOT

GOD WHATLL HAPPEN IF I DO

Adrien: You ever heard of The Crimson fox

Alya: No?

Adrien: exactly 

Alya: .

O k 

Wait how many people know Lila is lieing

Marin: Let's see Nino, Alix, Rose, Juleka, Sabrina

Alya: WAIT WHAT 

Adrien: They're good at faking

I think more know but are scared to say something incase Lila hears

Alya: oml

WAIT WHY DIDN'T NINO TRY TO STOP ME WTF

Marin: I told him to let you learn on your own

Just wish it kicked in before you decided to be rude

Alya: yeah that's definitely not my best moment

I'm so sorry

Marin: I've heard worse

Kinda made you look like an ant honestly 

Adrien: EXCUSE ME WHAT

WHOMST

Chloe: PLEASE LEAK EM

SPILL IT MAR MAR

LEMME AT THEM I JUST GOT MY NAILS DONE

Alya: oh my god you have angry rich blondes to protect you

Marin: I also have Ollie 

Alya: Oh yeah

Does he know about Adrien?

Marin: maybe

Adrien: WAIT

HE DOESN'T KNOW-

Marin: LOL GOTTA GO

Adrien: MARIN

Chapter Text

22:43 PM

Cat: So is Alya like a spy now?

I'm not really sure how to feel about this honestly 

Bug: we have eyes like everywhere

Trust is to be earned

I'm watching her

Cat: and if we get double crossed?

Bug: I literally told this girl I was an informant

Not scarlet bug

I think we're good

For now anyways

Cat: hmmm

Ok as long as you're sure

Bug: if push comes to shove we do have the rabbit miraculous-

Cat: dude

Really

Bug: well we do

And we have Luka

Cat: IS THIS REALLY HOW WE WANNA DO THIS THOUGH

Bug: think about it

Volpina has been called to help hawkmoth a lot

Take her down as a civilian 

Might give us leverage 

Cat: how the fuck

Wait

WHAT YOU THINK SHE'S GONNA GET ARRESTED OR SOMETHING 

Bug: maybe

She could

You don't know

Cat: is it me or do your plans get a little crazy sometimes 

Bug: it's the ADHD 

Cat: yeah that checks out

I think

Ya know what

Go to bed

We'll discuss this tomorrow

Bug: Okie

Closed Chat

19:42 PM

Alya: y'all 

I went down a rabbit hole 

Marin: Like metaphorically or

Alya: bro

Theres like twitter threads about Lila

Marin: SAY SIKE RN

YOU'RE LIEING

Alya: I WISH I WAS DUDE

I LOOKED UP HER SOCIAL MEDIAS RIGHT

why are there like 3 accounts with her face but different names and different hair

And all of them have mega threads on her about either lies or bullying

my eyes burn y'all I've been up since 3 AM the lore

Adrien: back up

You've been on twitter since 3 AM gathering info on Lila

Chloe: Ain't no way

Alya sent 10 images

Marin: I've never been more disgusted in my life

Jesus

How many lives can one girl live?

Adrien: That last thread mentioned 

Someone received that much hate cause of her that they ended it all

What the fuck did she start

Chloe: That was just someone who tried to stop her from bullying a friend 

She destroyed someone's life over being snitched on 

Marin: wait a second one of these mentions a university 

Adrien: .

How old is Lila-

Alya: that school icon looks familiar 

Marin: WAIT A DAMN MINUTE 

Alya: waiting

So how are y'all 

I'm actually fucking grounded

Chloe: AMAZING 

Alya: yeah

But owning up for shit once its exposed is the right thing

Although I have a fear that with never being forgiven means Marin's gonna beat me to death with a baguette 

Adrien: why waste bread like that

Alya: I love your energy Adrien 

Adrien: Thanks

My dad gave me coffee

I hate it

Alya: AUAHDDOJEOSHEOEJRKDKEK

Wait where's Marin?

Marin added 1 person to the group

Marin: I needed outside sources

Ollie: Is that fucking Alya

Alya: I'm on probation 

And raiding Twitter threads

Ollie: .

Marin what the fuck

Marin: Isnt that your schools icon?

Ollie: Yes

Marin: Do you recognize the girl they're talking about

Ollie: Yeah

She was always talking about charities but like

She said it like a flex like she had a Gucci bag not like she was helping kids

And everytime she was asked about it she dodged the subject super hard

Why

Marin: You know that girl who's bothering me and trying to turn people against me

Ollie: .

Oh good God 

How the hell

Wait

AREN'T Y'ALL FUCKING 15

Adrien: we already determined the age is a lie

Ollie: IS THAT ADRIEN AGRESTE 

Adrien: yes

Hi

Marin what the fuck do you not talk to your brother 

Marin: No I do

We just send memes about bread

Chloe: imagine

Ollie: oh hi chloe

Still being sassy

Chloe: you know it 

Alya: Wait so your brother has possibly met Lila? Under a different name?

Ollie: I think her name was like fucking Sarah or something when I met her

I only had 1 conversation with her and that was asking for a pencil 

Everything else I know was by witnessing shit go down

Chloe: Explain

Ollie: One of the girls who called her out, her dad was the history teacher

He got fired from false SA allegations Lila had made

And waited till after he lost his teaching license to say that she was confusing him with someone else and some lieing disease flair up

Marin: SHE'S USED THAT LIE FOR THAT LONG AND DESTROYED A CAREER WITH IT?!

Adrien: Holy shit

Alya: instead of getting the girl she went for her father

God

Ollie: She also faked an allergic reaction to nuts

She ate a nut free snack btw the school only offers allergy safe foods

And the school like sucked up to her so she wouldn't sue since her mother is an ambassador or something 

Alya: How does one fake an allergic reaction that would cause a lawsuit 

What acting classes does this girl take

Marin: She had everyone believe I pushed her down a flight of stairs with no injuries so

Alya: .

Oh my God I forgot that happened

Marin: HOW

Alya: cause I remember seeing her sitting on the ground but I'm like huh that's a lot of stairs shouldnt she be unconscious 

Then the next thing I know the class is in an uproar 

Marin: BRO WHAT

Alya: No cause like even when you weren't there she always started some kind of beef with you between the class

At this point I don't even know how I believed it

Cause one of those times her lies got you grounded and you had no phone and she said you like sent her death threats through text

That one I didn't believe it was before the falling out

Chloe: but you didn't take that as a sign that she's fucked up

Alya: in the defense of this girl could just be a walking akuma for all we know

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WAS THINKING 

Adrien: bro is she an Akuma

She's helped Shadow moth like 4 times now

Alya: HUH

Chloe: yeah he's always having her make illusions to cause negative emotions 

Like hero's day

Alya: .

Marin hit me that baguette now

Marin: I'm actually busy making my mom a sweater cause I love her

Can I schedule you in for Thursday at noon?

Alya: yes

Marin: Cool

You can keep the bread afterwards 

Alya: Were you always this unserious?

Marin: no Adrien corrupted me

Adrien: I showed him my folder of memes nino helped me make

Ollie: how do you yall jump topics then circle back to them like a rollercoaster 

Chloe: this is normal for us Ollie

Ollie: children these days

Marin: mother fucker you are 19

Ollie: c h i l d r e n

Chloe: just wait 4 years and imma catch up

And call you old bitch

Ollie: gives me something to look forward to not gonna lie

Alya: So the lila thing

Marin: Funny story she's texting me rn

Sending me through a loop though 

Adrien: PAUSE

WHAT

Marin: she asked if I was ok given how before Alya used to misgender me and dead name me right

From that fight before

Chloe: How oddly nice of her

Marin: yeah then right after she like flips the switch and she's a nosey bitch cause she's using my mental health scares and trauma against me

Ollie: jail is just a room

Just saying

Alya: OLIVER

Ollie: I WILL go to jail TONIGHT 

Adrien: Who the hell would she have to go through to know about when you were struggling or shit from before she was even around us?

Marin: Kim could've mentioned the pool thing

She could've overheard me talk to someone when they asked how I was after those days I went radio silent a few months ago

Alya: does she know about the

Ya know

Marin: thankfully no

But they're covered up and faded so

I could easily pass them off as being clumsy 

Ollie: that's awful

Marin: No awful is the fact that she said she hopes I'm tossed aside like a used tampon 

Why a tampon idk

Adrien: the urges Marin

The urges

Marin: Adrien physical assault isn't any better than verbal assault 

Adrien: MARIN DIDN'T SHE LITERALLY PUNCH YOU IN THE RIBS ONCE

Chloe: where the fuck is my miraculous 

Alya: CHLOE NO

Chloe: CHLOE YES

Ollie: SHE'S GONNA USE HER HERO IDENTITY FOR THIS????!

Marin: I was fine

Adrien: you had bruising 

Marin: No one is going to jail tonight 

Alya: then tomorrow?

Marin: CRIMSON FOX ALYA

Alya: I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS WHY IS IT SCARY

Chloe: LMAO

Marin: I can't believe I let her finish talking before hitting block

Adrien: bro wanted a story

Marin: Nah 

I wanna LEAVE

Alya: AHSIDHISJSKDJDKDEJEKDJDJDJKEJEIRID

IM SORRY BUT IS THIS NORMAL?

Chloe: Yes

But usually I'm convincing Marin to drop kick you in the face

Alya: I

You

Ok

I guess

Adrien: I'm usually flirting with Marin

Ollie: I beg your pardon 

Adrien: .

B y e 

Marin: ADRIEN

Chloe: AHAJSHEJSJDKDJSLAJSKDJDKDJDJDA

Chapter Text

20:40 PM

Akuma class chat

Buttercup: chat 

I'm gay

DJ insomnia: in other news

Water is wet 

Grass is green

The sun came up

Fork found in kitchen

Climate change is imminent 

Buttercup: NINO

DJ insomnia: FIGHT ME GAY BOY

Queen B: IMAGINE

THE CALL OUT

Paint cans: bro why hate on the gay

Let's all be gay

Class rep: says the bisexual 

Paint cans: imma stop you RIGHT THERE chief 

The way I feel about my pookie bear isn't to be labeled by your rainbow words 

I'm a free turtle

Sweater vest: What did you smoke?

Paint cans: I cant tell you

Your dad is literally a fucking cop homie

Rosie posies: who taught him how to talk like those funny tiktoks

Paint cans: Marc

Class rep: beating up my cousin now/j

Queen B: SO FUCKING REAL

Zoe tried to teach dad rizz

MY GOD

Class rep: did it work?

Queen B: BOY WHAT YOU THINK

Jewels: Yo the mayor got the skibidi

Got the rizz

Gonna save Paris since he can't save his marriage 

I'm so fucking sorry 

Queen B: LMAO?????

Buttercup: why did that make me think of the time I asked Nat for a fricking frog chair

Like a beanbag chair right

BUT FROGULAR

Class rep: frogular ♡

Buttercup: right

She orders it

It comes in

IM HYPE

I sits on it

I fits

Father approaches me 

"Why are you sitting on a frog?"

"It makes me happy, wanna sit with me?"

He sits across from me on a stool 

Later on I over hear him say

"Natalie, I think my son has autism"

DJ insomnia: AHEODHFODNSKJDKFFK

DUDE

OH NO

#1 Reporter: NO CAUSE THE WAY HE JUST

WAS IT THE FROG CHAIR?

WAS THAT THE ONLY SUSPICIOUS THING TO HIM

CAUSE ONCE I SAW YOU SPECIFICALLY PICK A PIECE OF BREAD SHAPED LIKE A CAT

Buttercup: FUUUUUUUUCK

Rosie posies: peer review 

Autism diagnosis 

Buttercup: NO NOT LIKE THIS

PLEASE

I CAN'T FIND OUT THIS WAY

NOT IN MY CAT CROCS

Tree main: holy

Oh my god

Adrien 

Buddy

I have news for you 

Class rep: breaking news

Local blonde bisexual 

Has the tism

Who'd a thunk? 

Buttercup: YOU LITERALLY HAVE ADHD

MISS ME WITH THAT MOTORCYCLE BRAIN

Class rep: IM CALLING IT THAT FOREVER

Buttercup: YOU FUCKING FREAK

With love ♡

Class rep: EAT CRAYONS

I love you too ♡♡♡

Sweater vest: I want what the freaks have

Queen B: REAL

Sweater vest: wait

Queen B: oop

Is this

An

Offer

Or is this the accidental gay moment

Sweater vest: WGDIDGEIRHRKDHJDDD

IDK???

Rosie posies: as a lesbian I say kiss

Jewels: DO IT FOR THE GIRLS

THE GAYS

Paint cans: YEAHHHHHHHHHH

Class rep: we all share a braincell

Wow

#1 Reporter: must be the akumatizations

Class rep: AHDIDHDDHDIDJFKFJF

FUCK ME

YOU CAN'T JUST

IVE NEVER EVEN BEEN AKUMATIZED 

Buttercup: same though

Omg

Soulmates

Class rep: ADRIEN NOT NOW

Buttercup: THEN WHEN MARIN

WHEN

I GOT A RING POP RN

Class rep: YOU HUH

Roller gays: wedding march starts playing 

The remix though 

Cause this ain't no normal wedding 

It's a

GAY WEDDING

Fish luv me: AHDIDHKSNRR ALIX

Roller gays: What yall wanna buss down the the isle to?

Buttercup: Darude sandstorm

The recorder version specifically 

Cyborg: CURSED

Buttercup: LISTEN

DJ insomnia: he runs during the faster bits and just poses cause it's his default 

Buttercup: born to silly

Forced to serve

Queen B: Get you a man that can do both

Class rep: I did 

What's next

#1 Reporter: Mr.Overachiver over here

Class rep: dw

He laughed when I ran into that telephone pole

#1 Reporter: AHDOFHSKSHJFRN

ADRIEN YOU WHAT

Buttercup: NO CAUSE IT WAS LIKE

"Mar mar look out"

"I'm not gonna hit it, I have eyes Adrien"

Insert sounds of Marin's face making contact with a metal pole

I HAD TO GET HIM ICE

HE ALMOST BROKE HIS NOSE

MY DAD THOUGHT A BASEBALL HIT HIM

Class rep: not gonna lie

Explaining to him how clumsy I am

Was hilarious 

Like yeah I'm a very Talented designer 

But I'm not so good at stairs

Benches

Gravity

Cabinets 

Buttercup: desk legs

Class rep: I still don't know how I got caught on that thing

Tree main: how many bones have you broken

Class rep: 3

Buttercup: your own bones bub

Class rep: none

Buttercup: NOW WAIT A DAMN MINUTE 

WHAT THE FUCK 

Fish luv me: WHO

WHEN

WHERE

WHY

WHAT

Jewels: MARIN????

Class rep: 1 was a fossil which technically counts as a bone, it was a random one I found on an old field trip

2 was Ollie's, he asked me to help him with his martial arts practice and I apparently kicked the thing too hard and it snapped part of his hand, very small break btw

3 was a creeps nose, they hung around our school and tried to touch a fellow student and I went for it while someone else got a teacher who handled it the legal way 

But I fucking punched him

Buttercup: wnshfjfjjdjdkdkdkd

Win

But like

What the hell Marin

DJ insomnia: all of us freaking out when you had him specify 

Sweater vest: I'm sorry I'm just imagining Marin's tiny being

Decking someone

Class rep:  short people are closer to hell

:>

Buttercup: uh oh

Cyborg: now what did you do

Buttercup: apparently summon a fucking demon bro

But he loves me and gives me snacks so

Fish luv me: a win is a win

Buttercup: a win is a win

Queen B: Alexa

How to think like boys

Class rep: dont ask Alexa 

DJ insomnia: Why is that how you found out

Class rep: I 

Did you just

DID YOU JUST MAKE A JOKE ABOUT ME BEING TRANS-

DJ insomnia: IM SORRY

Class rep: I DIDN'T ASK ALEXA 

NINO

HOW WOULD THAT EVEN

Sweater vest: maybe we should use alexa to confirm the peer review 

Buttercup: DONT YOU FUCKING

NO

IM ALREADY SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THINGS I GET ASKED BY DOCTORS ALREADY

Roller gays: damn yo daddy snitched 

Buttercup: I mean

It's not a bad thing

IF I am riddled with the tism

BUT THE PEER REVIEW GOTS TO STOP

WE CANT KNOW

#1 reporter: I mean

We totally called it other times

Not diagnosis though

Queen B: girl I don't need peer review to know I have mommy issues smh

#1 reporter: HELPP???

Buttercup: OOF

WTF

Fish luv me: AGDKDHDKDHKDNDNFNFJFJ

CHLOE

Queen B: :3

DJ insomnia: AGSIDHEKSHSJDHRJDHDJDHDJDHF

Class rep: LMAO

NO HESITATION 

Buttercup: ahdidhdjd lol