Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Morning was something big in the Tomlinson household, and you may ask why if all you do is wake up and eat breakfast, but if you ask a family of fourteen, they'd tell you a different story. Twelve kids and a couple, they live in a nice cottage-like house with a cat named Beans and a dog named Clifford. Beautiful flowers grow in the front and back of the house, and behind the garden, there was a farm that Louis and Harry had grown themselves. It was a hassle to get up in the morning and tend the animals, but luckily the children liked to help.

The night before was the youngest set on twins birthday, and if you know the Tomlinsons, you know that birthday parties are heavily celebrated. It was only their third birthday so they did nothing serious besides cooking multiple desserts and playing homemade games before they finally had the cake, which was a rainbow chocolate chip. They were now on the floor asleep after Faith said she wanted to have a sleepover in the living room.

Allison's foot is over her nose and she was lying on top of Claire, while Phoebe was cuddled up against her. It was basically a tangled mess. Louis wakes up first, prepared to tend the horses. He remembers where he is when Dakota rolls onto him, snuggling her cheek into his thigh.

Louis smiles down at his daughter and brushes her dark hair out of her face. They were all covered by a big blanket, although some people weren't in it at all. He pulls the covers off of him and slowly gets up, cracking his back. 

It was six in the morning, the usual time he got up to feed. Clifford lay beside his slippers, Beans most likely ran off somewhere. The window above the sink was slightly ajar, giving the warm temperature the house had. He's surprised to find Eileen in the kitchen already, standing in front of the stove. "And what're you up to?" He asks huskily -  being the first word that's come out his mouth. She's already dressed for school, in a tight band shirt and jeans, her curly hair flat ironed and pulled into a half pony tail by her butterfly clip. She's known to be up before any of her siblings so she can take her sweet time to get ready, since the bathroom was always full. Eileen smiles at her father and scoops her creation onto a plate. "You go sit at the table, I made you breakfast." She enthuses. 

Somehow, the sixteen year old has managed to be a ball of energy when the sun has barely risen, and Louis will never understand how. Louis slowly turns and sits down, folding his hands on the table. Eileen approaches shortly after, placing his plate in front of him. He smiles at first but when he looks down at the glob on his plate, it slowly fades away. "Eileen," he calls. "what is this?"

"Leftovers. Mom was complaining about how we had so much food in the fridge, so I took it upon myself to cook it. Macaroni, broccoli, steak, rotisserie chicken, eggs, and mushroom casserole." She states proudly, a bashful smile on her face.

Louis gawks at the food. "Eileen, what the hell?"

She frowns. "Do you not like it?" She asks, playing with her fingers. 

He sighs and looks up at his daughter. "No, Eileen, this seems like a very nice breakfast." He lies with a passive smile, feeling shivers run up his spine at the thought of that going down his throat. "This is very sweet of you, baby. Thank you."

Eileen beams and walks off. 

Clifford passes by him and he ponders on feeding it to the dog, but he'd probably die. Who knows what the hell she put in it. He takes it upon himself to stare at the breakfast anxiously until the clock hits seven and Harry has the children ready for the day. Harry has Allison on his hip and his hand intertwined with Faith, counting the steps as they descend. 

"Seven, eight, nine-"

"One hundred!" Faith shouts. 

Allison frowns. "No, it's ten." 

"One hundred."

"No! It's ten!"

Faith grumbles, looking up at her mom. "Mommy, it's one hundred! Allie's lying, and lying is bad."

Harry stares apologetically. "I'm afraid it's ten, pet." Faith gasps as if she's been betrayed and Allison sticks her tongue out at her before running to her Dad. "Daddy!"

"Good morning, Allie." He says in shared excitement. He pulls his daughter onto his lap, kissing all over her face. "Eileen made some breakfast, you want to try?"

"Are you trying to kill our daughter, Louis?" Harry asks with a pointed look. 

Louis gasps in faux offense. "Are you doubting our daughter's cooking abilities?" He smirks menacingly as Allison starts eating the casserole. The three year old will eat just about anything, so it was no surprise. One of the perks of raising young children who love food is the fact that they will put anything in their mouths. Now, it's not always a good thing, but it helps him get out of situations. It felt like yesterday when Louis gave Junior the stuffing Gemma made on Thanksgiving, of which the two year old refused until Louis threatened to take away his Pikachu onesie. 

Allison eats the casserole with no problem, humming to herself. Harry watches her and shakes his head, scolding his husband. "I can't believe you. One day, you're going to have to tell Eileen her cooking is bad before she kills someone." 

"Who's killing someone?"

Harry nearly jumps out his skin. He places a hand over his chest and turns to face his eldest daughter. "Hi, dear. Don't worry about it, are you ready for school?"

"Yeah, I was going to ask where my crop top sweater is."

He raises an eyebrow. "You mean my crop top?"

"Yeah, same thing. Do you know where it is?"

"It's in my closet."

"Okay, thanks!" She shouts and runs off. Harry thins his lips and pivots, only to find Louis' smiling face. "We're not playing tonight," he warns and stomps to the kitchen. "and stop eating that, Allie. I'm going to make breakfast."

Louis affronts at his husband's words. "Why? Baby, you know I was only playing. I'll buy Eileen one, I'm sure it's somewhere online."

"No, Tomlinson, since my annoyance is so amusing to you." Harry says as he pulls out the Old Fashioned Oats container. 

"It's not!"

Allison licks her spoon and offers her father some. "Allie, please stop eating that before you have an aneurysm." 

The girl gasps at his words. "Mommy!" She cries

The triplets come running down the stairs next, Adeline dressed in her princess costume, knowing that she's not supposed to wear it to school. Louis doesn't even have the energy to reprimand her and accepts her hug. "Good morning, Daddy." The girl looks so much like her mother, and acts like him too, but she's been a Daddy's girl ever since she came out the womb. Or, in Harry's eyes, ever since he stopped breastfeeding. "Good morning, Princess."

Adeline smiles and hugs his neck. "Allie and Faith had a sleepover, can I have one at Gaby's?" She asks, using her big green eyes as a way to coax, but Louis' not going to fall for it this time. He kisses her nose. "No." 

She frowns. "Why?" 

"Because last time, you got scared in the middle of the night and I had to pick you up at one in the morning and I never got the chance to finish the game I was playing with Mommy." He answers sweetly. Adeline huffs and hops off his lap, wearing a sullen expression. "But I want to have a sleepover! Gaby's going to have chocolate truffles!"

"Mommy can make truffles." Louis says. 

"No! I want to sleep at Gaby's!"

He sighs. "But you won't sleep, you'll end up having Gaby's mom call us because you can't be tucked in and read a story."

Adeline knows it's true, but in her five year old mind, she just can't be wrong. "Ugh!" She grumbles and escapes his arms. Well, that's the third person to stomp away from him. Louis' making a track record. At least their youngest son, Avery is nice. He's a well mannered five year old, with wispy blonde hair that needs to be tended in order for it to curl. He's an exact copy of Louis, from his tan skin to his blue eyes. The only difference are those plump lips and dimples. Ave is adorable, he's like a golden son. He's soft spoken and rarely throws any fits, which is every parents dream. 

Only, Ave has now reached the phase where he whines about anything, and Louis doesn't know how much more he can take. 

Ave climbs onto Louis' lap, taking Adeline's old spot after she had run off angrily. "Daddy." He murmurs and hides his face in Louis' neck. Louis smiles and kisses his son's forehead tenderly, combing his hands through his hair. "Hi, Ave. How'd you sleep?"

"Good." He tries to put his thumb in his mouth, but Louis scolds him before he can do so. "What did Mommy and I say?"

"Sorry." He whispers. 

Louis rubs his bare back. "It's okay, come on, little monster. Let's get you dressed." 

"I'm not a monster today! I'm Captain Underpants!"

Louis can't help but grimace slightly. "Yeah, love, but we need to get ready for school."

"No, Captain Underpants doesn't wear clothes!" Ave retorts, crossing his arms over his chest. Louis sighs and places him on the floor so he can get up, ready to go upstairs. Ave is persistent, though, and keeps his feet planted to the ground. 

"Well, wearing underwear to school isn't socially acceptable, and we're going to get CPS called if you go like that - so let's go." 

And it has begun. 

The first sign for the outburst is the lip tremor. When it first happens, you think it's just one of those twitches kids have, but it follows with the watering eyes and sagging shoulders. Then, the whining begins, along with the lips turning down and finally, the hysterical cries. The other girls grumble on the floor from the sound, and Louis wants nothing more than to plug his ears, or even stuff an apple in the boy's mouth. 

"I wan' be Captain Underpants!" Ave screams. 

So much for a quiet morning. 

Harry, as always, comes in to save the day and scoops the five year old off the floor. "What's wrong, precious?" 

"I wan' be Captain U-Underpants!" 

The younger man arches an eyebrow and glances at his husband, who only shrugs. Harry slowly looks back at his son, his voice soft. "Okay, how about we wear a cape, instead? We can't wear our underwear to school, love." He says. 

Ave whines and tucks his face in the crook of Harry's neck. "You can be Captain Underpants when you come back from school," Harry suggests. The boy perks at that and his mother smiles. "Yeah? I'll get you some markers, too, so you can draw on them." 

Louis honestly thinks he's milking it, now, but he doesn't say anything. Ave's finally stopped crying, and they can now go on with their day. "Finish the oatmeal so I can get him dressed." Harry instructs as he heads up the stairs. 

He does, and they end up having dry oatmeal for breakfast. 

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis sits in the car outside the High school, bobbing his head to Pink Floyd. For a Monday, the kids have a lot of activities to do. The oldest twins have cooking club, Phoebe an art convention, Dakota and Delaney are at the neighbor's house, the triplets are still in school, and Allison and Faith went to work with Harry, leaving Louis with his first borns. The bell finally rings for dismissal and he amplifies the radio, blocking the sound of joyful teenagers. He averts his gaze to the building, spotting Junior beside a girl. He purses his lips and watches as Junior's eyes continuously dart around the courtyard. He's not sure if the boy's watching out for him, even though he's right in front of the school, but he seems pretty paranoid. 

Just then, a boy, a little shorter than them approaches the two and starts shouting. Louis perks in interest. His nosiness isn't something he's exactly proud of, but hey, this is his son and he's in a feud, he has to look. Louis winces when the other boy slaps Junior and stomps away. Eileen suddenly appears in front of the car, wrapping her knuckles on the window. 

He unlocks the door and she gets inside, sighing. "Did you just ignore your brother getting slapped?"

Eileen shrugs. "What am I supposed to do? It's his fault, he keeps trying to keep up with this little 'player' personality, it's just biting him in the ass." She says dismissively. 

Louis hums and waits for Junior to approach the car. The seventeen year old throws his rucksack in the backseat and sits quietly. Uncharacteristically, he doesn't even make fun of the music like he usually would, he just crosses his arms over his chest and slumps in his seat. Louis starts the car and continues forward, the vehicle overall silent except the radio. "So, who was that girl?" He questions to cut the silence. 

"No one." 

Eileen rolls her eyes. "You are so full of shit."

Louis furrows his eyebrows. "All right, we're not going to do that." He rebukes. 

She huffs. "What am I supposed to do when your son acts like a dick all over school." 

Junior childishly kicks her seat in retaliation. "At least I'm not embarrassing myself everywhere."

"Your face is enough embarrassment." Eileen sneers. 

"Being your brother is an embarrassment."

"Enough!" Louis interrupts. "Weren't you guys fine this morning? What happened?"

"I wasn't even here this morning." Junior says. 

Louis pauses and he frowns in confusion. Junior rolls his eyes. "You didn't notice? I left hours before you guys were even up." 

After the incident in the car, Louis has to find out what happened. He didn't pick up much from Junior and Eileen, but their siblings definitely know what's going on. That's why he's currently in Phoebe's room, sitting on her zebra print blanket and eager to get her answers out. "You haven't seen anything out of the ordinary with your brother?"

"Nope." She answers. 

Louis may be delusional at the moment, due to his desperation but he is convinced he saw a glint in the nine year old's eyes. "You're lying! He gave you something to bribe you, what'd he give you? I can give you an even bigger prize if you tell me. I'll give you a birthday bash this year." He promises. Phoebe raises an eyebrow and she purses her lips in consideration, stopping her strokes on Beans' fur. "What do you want to know about Junior?" 

"This mystery girl. He was with someone at his school today, she was brown skin and had curly hair." He mentions. 

Phoebe hums thoughtfully. "That may be Deseane. He's been hanging out with her for a while, he's even brought her here." 

Louis frowns. "I don't remember seeing or hearing a Deseane." 

"That's because he snuck her in here, silly." 

"How many times has he done that?" 

She shrugs. "Only like, ten. He gives me ten dollars to be quiet. It's making me rich." 

Louis shakes his head, because only his son would do that. "Wait, where is he getting this money?" 

Phoebe shrugs again. "I don't know, all I know is that I'm getting paid." 

Oh, that little shit.

Louis smiles tightly and thanks Phoebe for her insight, leaving the room quietly. He takes a moment in the hall to decide how he will approach Junior. He understands that the boy's getting older and he finds no objection to relationships, but sneaking people into their home is completely unacceptable. Whether they're romantically involved or not. Junior's laying on his bed with his headphones covering his ears, completely distracted by his computer. The one thing that involuntarily catches Louis' attention is the awful scent of Junior's room, practically assaulting his nostrils. The older man groans and plugs his nose, lightly stomping on Junior's stomach to grab his attention. 

Junior pulls his headphones off. "What?" 

"Firstly, your room smells like absolute shit." 

The teenager turns his nose. "It's the smell of men."

"In what world?" Louis snorts. He contemplates on sitting on the bed, but he knows his knees can't bare standing any longer. He faces Junior seriously, but subtly brings up the situation. "So, June, you're going to eighteen pretty soon." He says. 

Junior grins. "Yeah. I wanted a party in the barn-"

"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves," Louis interrupts. "As I was saying, you're going to be eighteen soon. But you're going to be under your mother and I's roof for a really long time. I just want you to know that the people you keep company with, won't stay under our noses for a while, and we will find out eventually. So, if there's anything you need to tell us - you should probably say it, now." 

Junior stares at him, unblinking. 

"No? Well, that gir-" 

"Okay, fine! But you have to promise me you won't tell mom." Junior says desperately. 

Louis arches an eyebrow. "Why shouldn't I tell your mom?" 

The teenager sighs in exasperation and rolls his eyes. "You know why. He's going to freak out and bug me, and I don't want that, especially because it's nothing serious." His father juts out his bottom lip in faux sadness and reaches out to squeeze Junior's cheek. "You know your mom wouldn't miss his first child's first relationship for the world." 

"Dad, please." Junior whines

Louis sighs and stand up. "I suppose. But you're going to have to make it up to your mom for keeping this information." He warns. 

He is so, totally going to tell Harry. 

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

"Daddy!" Dakota shouts as she runs in front of the TV, blocking the football game. Louis frowns and tries to lean his body over to see, but Delaney happens to take that spot as well. The man exhales loudly and pauses the game, setting his attention on his daughters. "Yes, my sweet girls." The twins grin at each other in silence, like they're having some kind of telepathic conversation with one another until Dakota speaks again. "We have a dance for you!" 

Then, Louis notices the body suit and tutu they were wearing. "That's fantastic." He enthuses with a drip of sarcasm, but of course the little girls wouldn't notice. Dakota smiles and starts to tap her foot on the ground as she snaps, counting off before they dance. She's controlled, but Delaney is in her own world. The smaller one flails her limbs like she's hanging off a jet ski, tumbling on the ground to do a handstand. Louis' confused between whether this is ballet or street dancing.  To finish it off, Delaney kicks her leg up, causing her slipper to fly off and hit Louis right on the temple. 

Delaney gasps and runs to her father. "Are you okay, Daddy?" She asks worriedly. Louis chuckles and pulls her onto his lap. "It's all right, Laney." 

Dakota jumps onto him next, grinning widely. "Did you like it?" 

"It was amazing." Louis says. The girls preen and hug him tightly. Of course, he loves the affection of his daughters, but he really needs to finish this game or else he won't until the weekend. He sends the girls off to play with Beans and focuses back on the game. He's leaning over the couch, watching Reed run with the ball when the door opens and Harry enters, carrying multiple grocery bags. "Louis, gets the groceries out the car." He says. 

"I'll do it in a minute, baby." 

Harry doesn't even have to verbally retaliate. Louis feels the boring eyes on him and pauses the TV, heading to the door. His husband smiles approvingly and cups his cheeks. "Thank you, my love." Harry praises and pecks his lips. Louis grumbles, but no matter how annoyed he is, he could never reject a kiss from his husband. Harry pulls away and pats on his chest to urge him to go, and leaves as well to put the bags on the counter. 

Harry calls for his eldest children to store the food in their respectable places and patiently waits for Louis to get back inside the house. He smiles at Louis as he reenters, causing the older man to glance at him skeptically. He hands the bags to Eileen and approaches him with suspicion. "Yes?" 

Harry smiles even wider and wraps his arms around Louis' shoulders. "I've decided what we're going to do for our next date night," he announces. "and remember, you promised that you are going to keep an open mind." Louis hums vaguely and presses a kiss to the tip of his nose. "My mind's open." 

"Dancing!" Harry exclaims. 

"Lap or belly?" Louis asks. 

The oldest groan from inside the kitchen, but Harry ignores them. "Neither." Louis pulls away, innocently replying. "Mind's closed."

"No!" Harry whines and follows after him, grabbing his forearm. "Louis, you promised. And anyway, I already set us up with some lessons." He says. Louis gawks in disbelief. No way, his own husband is trapping him into dancing! "I can already dance, Haz. You experience it all the time in the bed." 

"Dad!" Junior shouts. 

Harry rolls his eyes. "Louis, I want to do some romantic dancing. It'll be fun! I already know the instructor, and I've seen the lessons on YouTube, it's so sweet. And my ass needs a break." 

"Do you guys have any decency?!" Junior cries. Harry turns his head to the boy. "Go finish putting the groceries away." He reminds. 

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

A week later, they go to their lessons. Harry's absolutely drowning in excitement. He all but rushes into the building with Louis on his feet and hops in his place, in front of the closed door. Louis shakes his head at his husband, grabbing his shoulders. "Down, boy." Harry's smile falters and he slaps his hand away, groaning. "Don't pick at me, I'm just really excited. This is going to be so much fun." He says. 

Louis smiles and kisses his forehead. "All right, puppy. Let's go." 

Harry punches his shoulder lightly and pushes the door open. The room is otherwise empty until their instructor reveals himself dramatically. The dark haired man is wearing a tank top that shows off his hairy chest and tight black pants. Matteus raises his hands gracefully and speaks. "It's Samba!"

"No." Louis immediately says and starts to leave but Harry grabs his arm. "Open mind, Louis." He scolds. 

The man introduces himself. "My name is Matteus Rococo, five time winner of the Bahia area Samba contest." He dramatizes, rolling his hips. Harry smiles bashfully and glances at Louis, who stares indifferently. "Yeah, well, I'm Louis Tomlinson and I'm the five time winner of the Michael Jackson moonwalk contest," he says and shuffles backwards. "and I'm out of here." 

Harry grabs him before he can open the door and glowers. "Louis, stop being a jerk and be serious." 

Matteus offers his hand to the younger man. "You must be Harry," He takes Harry's hand and kisses his knuckles. "What a beautiful man, you really are," Harry laughs airily and Matteus continues, spinning him around. "and may I say, pink is your color." Matteus carefully lets him go and rolls his hips. "Samba is the dance of sensuality, you must feel your body. Go on, feel it."

Harry grins and copies him. "Come on, Louis. Feel it."

"You know what my body feels like? It feels like leaving."

Harry glares at him, unimpressed. 

Matteus saunters to the speaker and turns it on. He takes Harry's hand and pulls him close. "First, I will demonstrate the woman's part." Matteus holds under Harry's armpit and his right hand and starts to take careful steps. "Backwards, forwards." He instructs. Harry obliges and smiles to himself proudly when he starts to understand. Mattues slides his hands down to Harry's hips. "Now some more hip." He directs the brunette's movement and Harry easily follows. "You're beautiful, you are a natural." 

"I am?" 

"Yes, surely you must have some Brazilian blood for this body of yours." 

Harry grins. "Well, actually, I had a great great grandmother on my Dad's side that had a smidgen of Brazilian in her." Matteus spins him around and Harry's met with Louis' stone face. "What? If you can be part Cherokee, I can be part Brazilian."

Louis smiles passive-aggressively. "You know, speaking of part, I'm supposed to be part of this lesson here."

They're only three days into their lessons and Louis' sick of it. He wants to be a good man and enjoy some quality time with his husband, but that's kind of hard when there's that thing all over him. To make matters worse, Harry has too much fun with it. He giggles the whole time and practically smothers himself in Matteus' compliments. He really wants to stop their lessons, but that would break Harry's heart. 

Louis comes inside the house after feeding the chickens, and Harry chirps at his entrance. "Hey, baby, sit down. I have a little preview of dinner tonight. Tell me if you think the kids will like it." Louis sits down at the table and briefly glances at the food. "I don't recognize anything on this plate." He says. 

"Oh, that's feijoada, queijo, and bobó de camarão." Harry answers while pointing out each food.

Louis furrows his eyebrows. "Bobo de cama what?"

Harry rolls his eyes and repeats himself. "Bobó de camarão, it's Brazilian."

Louis mutters in annoyance. "Oh, Brazilian?"

"Yeah!"

"Harry, you're going Brazilian crazy,"

Harry scoffs and walks back to the sink. "And is that why you're wearing the pink again because Mr. Rocococola said that's your color?" He asks, imitating Matteus' voice. Harry ignores every other remark that the older man made and grins. "Did he say that? He might have, I don't know." He says and pulls on the sleeves of his pink sweater. "Baby, test the food before it gets cold."

Louis stands up before he can leave. "Harry, you know what, listen, I don't like the way this man looks at you."

Harry frowns and Louis grabs his hips. "And I don't like him touching all over your hips, those are my hips." The younger man smiles softly and replies. "The teacher has to be attentive to the pupil, and the pupil has to be responsive to the teacher."

"Harry, this guy is getting into your head. You're becoming Brazilian crazy."

Harry laughs in disbelief. "I am not Brazilian crazy. Now, sente-se e coma while I go watch televisão."

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis' sitting through another dance lesson in irritation, watching Matteus explain the dance to Harry. "Last week, we learned a few simple steps, but this week I will teach you the essence of what Samba is all about," Harry smiles in excitement. "and may I say, orange is your color." He remarks, taking off the sheer blouse and tossing it to Louis' hand.

"What happened to pink?" Louis mocks. 

Matteus spins Harry around. "You are a beautiful man, with hips strutting for summer." 

"Yeah, that's why I married him." Louis quips. 

Matteus backs away to prepare their dance. "Let me set the scene, it's carnival in Rio De Janeiro." A backdrop falls of the beautiful city and Harry gasps, holding his cheeks. "The sun is subtly, and you are on the beach in Copacabana, in nothing but a thong." 

"Yeah, and where am I at?" Louis interrupts. 

"You're at the hotel taking a nap." Matteus dismisses. He takes Harry's hips and starts dancing, dipping him from side to side. "Now, I must teach one of my favorite moves in Samba dancing," He says and pulls away from the student to lean back and open his arms. "we call it the bounce move." He demonstrates it and Harry immediately follows suit. "Yes, very nice. Turn."

Harry naively jumps around so his back is facing the instructor. 

"Yes, keep shaking. Bring it over."

Louis has to cover his mouth to not laugh and intervenes. "Okay," He mutters and gently grabs Harry. "Let's bounce out." Harry's still hopping to the door and waves vaguely. "Bye, Mr. Rococo!"

The couple returns home and Harry stumbles inside, laughing. "That was so fun and invigorating, I feel so alive!" He enthuses and falls onto the couch. Louis forces a smile, but he isn't entirely upset. Although he didn't have fun watching that, he's glad Harry had a good time - and he also has a hard on he needs to attend. "I know, and now I want to watch you do that bouncy-bouncy move over me."

Harry stops smiling. "Uh uh, I'm too tired for all that." He mumbles and wipes his face with his blouse. 

Louis sighs. "You know what, let's quit this thing. Let's go back to the dinner and the movie."

"No, baby, I got us the ten lesson package, we can't do that. We've only just begun to Samba." Harry's back to his quirky energy once again and skips up the stairs. Louis watches him leave and huffs. He knows how optimistic and determined Harry is, but he can't stand this Matteus man any longer. They can always get a new instructor if Harry wants to dance so badly.

Louis blows a raspberry and sits on the couch, grabbing the house phone. He dials the number and raises the phone to his ear. "Yes, is this Mr. Rococo?" He says in a disguised voice. "Yes, my name is Walter Johnson from the uh, Immigration and.." He makes up a word and Matteus questions it. "Hey- you know what I'm saying. Listen, I'm calling to see if your papers are in order." 

The phone hangs up and Louis smiles triumphantly. 

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Aside from the Samba dancing, Louis' still trying to figure out the mystery of Junior and Deseane, and the boy that slapped him. He's arrived to school early specifically to spy, and he's gotten nothing, because he hasn't seen that girl again, or the boy. Louis' determined to figure out what's going on, though, so he continues to search. That's until he approaches Junior himself with the intention to figure out what's going on. Junior's how he usually finds him, busy with his computer. Louis shuts the door and makes himself comfortable on the bed, waiting for Junior himself to look at him. 

Junior sighs in annoyance and pulls his headphones off. "Yes?"

"So, what happened to Deseane?" 

Junior's eyebrows pull together. "I never told you her name."

"Your sister did, now what happened? I don't see you guys at school."

"Are you spying on me?!" Junior exclaims. Louis rolls his eyes and sits up. "So what if I am? As your father, I'm supposed to worry about your relationships and you. You're suddenly not talking to this girl, anymore, and I'd like to know why." He explains. 

Junior shrugs. "She was never anything serious. We just had.. relations." He states vaguely. 

Louis purses his lips. He'd like to know how the hell that is happening in a houseful of people, but he doesn't question it. He instead uses the advice he planned prior to the conversation. "You need to be careful with that, June. That's how your mother got pregnant with you-" 

"Do you have to traumatize me any further?" 

"I'm not finished," Louis scolds. He glares at his son before continuing. "As I was saying, your mother got pregnant with you from irresponsibility like that. You see, accountability is something very important during high school years. If you don't hold accountability, a lot of things can go south. I didn't hold accountability in high school, and I got mom pregnant. I also didn't a couple months after, hence your sister. But, after that, I started to become responsible. I got a successful job and I matured as a man." 

Junior nods stupidly. "What was the purpose of this?" 

Louis slaps his son's shoulder. "Just don't play with people, or you'll have to deal with permanent consequences." He advices. 

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry and Louis join another lesson. The reason Louis' happy is because he knows Mr. Rococola won't be there anymore. Yay! Harry hops into the room in excitement, unbeknownst to what his husband had done. "Baby, I am so looking forward to this." The older man says as he holds the door open. Harry grins and turns around. "Lou, I love this attitude adjustment you've made." 

"Hey, if Samba's what you want," He shuffles his feet, his shoes tapping on the ground. "Samba's what you get."

Harry scrunches his nose in happiness and leans forward for a chaste kiss. The door opens silently, revealing a brunette woman, wearing red robe. Harry's confused, but he smiles politely. "Oh, hi. We have an appointment with Mr. Rococo."

"I'm sorry to inform you, but Mr. Rococo is no longer with us." She says sultrily. 

Louis snaps his fingers slowly in sarcasm. "Aw man."

Harry's eyebrows raise in surprise. "But what happened?"

"He had an emergency." The woman answers.

"Oh, he must have had something de-portant to do." Louis quips. Harry glares at him from over his shoulder and slowly looks back at her. "Wow, we're really disappointed. We were really looking forward to our lesson." He says sadly and Louis exaggeratedly hums in agreement 

The woman smirks. "Not to worry, I'm Salma." 

"Nice to meet you Salma." Louis says. 

Salma turns around the pull off her robe, revealing a crimson backless dress. "I'm please to be your new instructor."

Harry immediately pushes Louis. "Oh, no! We can't do that, right, baby? We should just go home. You're not really into this, right?" He loudly voices, urging Louis to the door. Louis gently takes his hands, fighting back a smile. "A deal's a deal, uh..." He snaps his fingers and Harry's eyes almost bug out of it's sockets. "Harry!" Harry finishes with a shout.

Louis smiles. "Right, Harry. I mean, we've got seven more lessons. Let's just muddle through with Salma." 

Salma sashays toward them and grabs Louis' hands. "You can go and sit down, I'd like to work with him first." She tells Harry and Louis grins, repeating after her. "Yeah, sit down over there," he beckons with his head. "Por favor, aqui." He says. Harry scowls as he slowly approaches the chairs. "Siéntate." Louis repeats. 

Salma beams. "First, let me set the scene. Carnival."

"Yes, and you're laying on the beach in nothing but a thong, and he's back at the hotel, taking a nap!" Louis recites enthusiastically. Harry frowns and straightens in his chair, glaring at his husband. He doesn't understand what the older man's getting at, but he doesn't like it. Salma nods and continues. "Now, let me demonstrate - the bounce."

She wiggles her chest and Louis smiles in encouragement. "Yeah, look at them bounce."

"Okay!" Harry interrupts, separating them. "No, you see, we've learned that one, already. That one's already played out-"

Louis shakes his head in denial and directs Harry back to his seat. "No, no, no, I didn't learn that. Remember? You learned it and I didn't get a chance."

"I don't remember that." Harry argues. 

Salma guides Louis' hands to her hips. "Follow the rhythm of my hips." She demonstrates as she smoothly wiggles her hips, keeping her hand atop of Louis' for direction. Louis continues his dumb quips, like how she has a whole 'rhythm section,' whatever that may mean, until Harry huffs and intervenes again. "I'm not really feeling very comfortable about this." 

"Oh, you'll get your turn with Salma, and I want to watch that." Louis jeers. 

Harry stomps his foot. "Louis!"

"What? She's just being a good teacher and I'm being a great student." He parrots and spins the woman. He pulls her back and she places her hand on his heart, grinning. "Oh, you have a very strong chest." She coquettishly says. 

"Chest?" He questions. 

"Yes." 

"Yes?" Louis mocks Harry's laugh with hysterical giggles and it only infuriates the younger man more. 

When they return home, Louis wears an outfit similar to the one Matteus wore on their first day. A black mesh crop top and some tight pants, and Harry's cursed with the image of him dancing in their room when he comes out the bathroom. "Louis, what're you wearing?"

Louis spins around and smiles menacingly. "Do you like? Chest or no chest?"

Harry sneers at him. "Yes, I have one just like it in my closet. I'm not going anywhere with you looking like that, Louis."

"Well, then I guess it's just me and Salma dancing the night away." Louis jests. 

"Over your dead body." Harry says seriously and falls onto their small couch, resting his chin in his hands. Louis grins and approaches his husband, knocking his shoulder. "Harry Edward Tomlinson, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're jealous over the new dance instructor." He tickles the dimpled one's neck and he laughs, slapping his wandering hand away. "I'm not jealous." He denies. 

Louis repeats. "Jealous."

"I am not! I'm just not interested in watching you drool all over that Spanish bimbo." 

"I was not drooling," Louis says. "My tongue was sweating."

Harry turns his face in disgust as the older man continues. "And wasn't it you who said the instructor had to touch your hips, in order to show you the right moves, huh? Or was that only when you were flirting with Mr. five time champion, Rococo?"

Harry laughs falsely and stands up. "I was not flirting."

Louis arches an eyebrow and the younger man sighs. "Okay, okay. I was 'flirting,' but it was innocent and all in fun." Harry says. 

"It wasn't fun for me. I can't stand seeing another man touch you or grab you like that." 

Harry smiles at him toothlessly and fondly, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I was just excited. It's kind of hard to have fun independently with people in every corner of the house. It was fun, but I promise I can never feel the same way I feel about you for anyone else. You're my heart. And I think it's very sweet that after all these years, we can still get jealous."

Louis rubs his back soothingly and replies softly. "I'm always going to get jealous." 

"Really?"

"Even in the nursing home, I'll be jealous of the guy who changes your diaper."

Harry laughs at the random scenario and hits his chest lightly. "Stop." He shuts Louis up with his lips and replaces his arms around Louis' shoulders. The increasing years that pass are no matter to two. It only makes their love go stronger, and Harry's forever grateful, and Louis reciprocated.

Chapter Text

Harry's draining fruit in vinegar for the children's snack, while Louis sits at the table reading the mail. He's shuffling through when he finds a magazine with a very proactive woman on it. Louis sighs and waves the magazine in the air. "Your son's ordered another one of these." Harry arches an eyebrow at the vague sentence and frowns when he sees the Playboy magazine. "Again? I thought he got over those." He says in disappointment.

"Clearly not," Louis mutters as he separates the piles of mail and magazines. "because he's got two more."

Harry sighs exhaustingly and takes the magazines from his husband, looking through them. "These are way worse than the ones you used to own." Louis rolls his eyes at Harry's remark and scoffs. "First of all, My father was the one that was convinced I'd marry a woman. You know I very much preferred your ass over some lady's tits– and I can now proudly prefer your tits over another's."

Harry laughs hard enough that his head falls back and takes a seat across from him. Audrey comes downstairs, knowing that her mom was making a snack for them. She climbs onto Harry's lap for a cuddle and he reciprocates, wrapping his arms around her and pulls her closer. Louis smiles at his daughter softly. "What were you doing, miss Audrey?"

"Pooping." She answers.

Louis blinks awkwardly and Harry laughs, kissing her forehead. "Did you wipe?" She hums in affirmation and snuggles further into his arms. "Is the strawberry shortcake done?"

"No, the fruit's still cleaning."

Harry returns to the previous conversation and sighs indulgently. "We have to talk to him."

"And do what, go and tie his hands behind his back?" The younger man rolls his eyes at his husband's quip. "No, you have to tell him not to do it so much."

"Do what, Mommy?" Audrey innocently wonders.

"Read, honey. We're talking about reading." Harry says.

Audrey frowns. "I thought it was good to read?"

Harry forces a smile. "Yes, it is good to read. You just don't want to do it so much that you go.. blind." He lifts Audrey off his lap and stands up. "I can't even deal with this right now, I've got to get ready for work."

"Me too!" She exclaims and runs off.

Harry pulls out the sponge cake to finish off the dessert. "You know I'm coming home late tonight, right?"

"I thought you said you were going to be on time, tonight?" Louis asks.

"No, I have to pick up Keke's shower gift." Harry reminds, referring to their close friend's baby shower. He's so excited for Keke's baby, especially after the couple agreed to have no more babies. "Have you seen my Victoria's Secret catalog?" He remembers.

Louis hums. "Yeah, it's in the bathroom with Junior."

Harry laughs in disbelief. "Am I going to have to hide that thing?"

Louis chuckles and gets rid of the mail, contemplating on throwing the magazines in the trash. He's so nonchalant about the situation, now that he understands that Junior has a significant other or whatever the hell he's calling it. But, Harry still doesn't know, and he has to bite his tongue to not say anything. Luckily, Harry's fairly distracted with Keke's baby shower and coaching Dakota and Delaney's soccer team. The latter was definitely interesting, since Harry is anything but athletic, but he seems to have fun with it.

The front door opens and Eileen, along with a couple friends come skipping inside. "Mom, guess what?!"

Harry raises an eyebrow from where he's spraying whipped cream. "What?"

"I got on the cheer team!" They all start squealing and Louis has to cover his ears to block some of the noise. Harry gasps and touches his chest. "Oh my god, baby, I'm so proud of you! If you girls need anything, I'm always willing to help." He enthuses. Eileen smiles but tilts her head. "What will you help with?"

Louis rolls his eyes and looks at his daughter knowingly. "Your mom used to be on the cheer team, prancing his little bum around in those skirts."

Harry throws the whipped cream bottle at his head. "I did not! Don't listen to your father. The school didn't let me wear a skirt, but that doesn't matter. The point is, from a former cheerleader, you girls can use some help." He says. The shortcakes are overall done, so he sets them aside to stand in front of the girls. "I'll even show you guys a cheer."

Eileen groans. "Mom-"

Harry starts to clap his hands. "Five, six, seven, eight!" His dance is overall good, but then he does the bouncing move from their samba lessons and Eileen immediately ushers her friends out the room. Harry frowns when the girls leave and pouts to his husband. "Did I do something wrong?"

Louis forces a smile. "I'm afraid your daughter and her friends don't want to see you twerking."

Harry makes a noise of offense. "I was not twerking!"

"And I think you've forgotten the little boobs you have."

Harry's hands fly to his chest. "I do not! You're always so mean!" He huffs and stomps toward the living room to get dressed. Louis laughs and follows after the younger man, gently pulling his waist. "I'm not, baby. I'm just teaching you this generation's humor."

Harry scoffs. "You out of all people do not understand teenagers."

"I do, too." Louis argues.

"Are you forgetting the Bahamas incident?"

Louis' face drops. "You're sick." He pushes the curly man away and Harry cackles, tugging his arm. "Louis, don't walk away from me! I'm just giving you the same treatment."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The next morning, half the family gathers around the table for their meal. Eileen's off for cheer practice and Phoebe's already left for school, leaving the youngest children as always. Harry's dressed in his work clothes and setting the table with breakfast when Junior comes into the dining room. He pauses at the sight of his mother and prepares to leave, but Harry can see him through the corner of his eye. "Go on and sit down, June." He says in a defiant tone.

Junior sighs and drops his bookbag on the ground, taking a seat at the table. He rubs his hands together at the food. "What'd you make?"

"You're looking right at it." Harry replies.

Junior purses his lips and Harry props a hand on his hip, the other occupied with holding the top of a chair. "Listen, I told your Dad to have this conversation with you but I highly doubt he did, so I'm going to tell you. You need to cut it on the magazines. June, you look like some sex depraved monster when you're going around stealing Victoria's Secret catalogs and buying old Playboy magazines, no one even reads those anymore! And I'm not trying make you feel ashamed or anything, but really Junior?"

The boy stares at his mom and chuckles. "Okay, mom. First of all, hello, invasion of privacy?"

"These are magazines you're buying with the allowance your Father and I give you, and what comes in, in our mail." Harry reminds.

Junior blows a raspberry. "Okay, maybe so. But that doesn't give you the right to treat me like some brainless pervert."

"June, just the other day you tried to sniff in on Eileen's friends."

"Okay, so what? I'm a growing boy, just like you've said these past few months. I have necessities and that just might be one of them."

Harry arches an eyebrow and deflates. "Just know that this conversation isn't over." He warns before calling everyone down for breakfast.

Delaney and Dakota are on the all girls soccer team, but Delaney is the most interested in the sport. Dakota likes ballet more, but they're having a hiatus so she's now doing soccer with her twin sister. Harry's enthusiastic about the activity because he gets to coach his daughters and witness their victories and losses, and also teach them the fundaments of the sport.

Harry grabs a fork and knife and cuts through Dakota's french toast. "Dakota, I need you to load up on the carbs. You have a very big soccer practice today." He softly says. Dakota shrugs her shoulders. "I just want to score a goal this year."

"Join the club." Junior mumbles.

Louis glares at his son and Harry chooses to ignore him, clapping his hands together. "You don't have to worry about scoring a goal because you're going to score a lot of goals with Mommy as your coach, because Mommy isn't going to let you fail, all right?" Dakota nods and he smiles. "Now carb up."

Delaney doesn't need him to tell her, since she's as competitive at the sport as her mother is. Ave perks in his seat. "Mommy, I want to do soccer!" The triplets nod in agreement and it encourages the younger twins to parrot them. Harry smiles at them softly. "I can't squeeze all you guys onto the team, but maybe you can watch your sisters play." He suggests.

Junior snorts around his orange juice. "Yeah, cause you guys wouldn't even kick the ball right."

Harry's eyes twinkle with malice. "You know what, why don't you be the equipment manager."

Junior's face falls. "Mom-"

"No, no! Since you're such an expert at everything, you're going to help with the team. I need an extra hand, anyway." Harry says nonchalantly. Louis smiles at his husband's sarcasm and shoots Junior a knowing look. The seventeen year old grumbles and angrily eats his french toast, not speaking for the rest of breakfast.

Harry sits down beside his husband and starts to eat, enjoying the rays of sunshine that elicit through the room and the presence of his family. Claire looks up from her food then, smiling sheepishly. "Since Junior's going to be the equipment manager, is it a good time to say I may have gotten caught in the goal net and it ripped?"

Mornings just may not be their strong suit.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis' fixing himself an afternoon snack when the door slams open and Dakota runs inside the house. "Run for your lives!" She shouts. Louis knits his brow and follows Dakota with his eyes, distracted that Harry marches over and takes the sandwich because he ended up holding it out. Louis gawks at him with severe offense as Harry chews down on it before gagging. "What is this?"

"My sandwich." Louis says.

Harry shakes his head and spits it out in the trash can, tossing the sandwich on the counter. He starts to pace around Louis, throwing his hands in the air. "I set Dakota up fifty times, fifty times and she couldn't get the ball into the net once." He exclaims.

"Well, maybe they had a good goalie." Louis tries to reason.

"There was no goalie." Harry hisses.

Junior comes into the house next, waddling with large flags and a net full of soccer balls in his arms. "Where do I put this stuff, mom?" He asks irritably. Harry slaps his hands against his thighs and scoffs. "Where do I put this stuff mom," he mocks. "Did you detangle your net, did you count your knee guards, did you even wash your balls?!"

Junior throws his hands up. "I haven't even brushed my teeth yet. You had me going nonstop since breakfast!"

Harry sighs. "Junior, if you want to be equipment manager, you're going to have to stop with the whining."

"I don't want to be equipment manager." He says.

Delaney stomps into the room next, and only adds onto the scene. It seems she's taken on Harry's competitiveness, and is also angry about practice. "You can't even set the flags straight! You told Faith that she can't kick any goals when you can't even set up the goal!" She degrades feistily.

Junior gaps in shock. "Dad, help!"

Louis shrugs. "Go hose down your balls."

Junior's in even more disbelief from his nonchalance. He would not be acting funny if he were in his position! He huffs and leaves the house to put the equipment away and Louis sighs. "Come in for a hug, guys." He opens his arms and Harry lets himself be pulled into a hug. Delaney's still snarky and rudely declines, stomping away.

Louis shakes his head with a laugh and rubs Harry's back. Harry exhales slowly and eventually pulls away. "I'm sorry. Maybe I do have a teeny weeny tendency to go overboard and in the scheme of things, maybe my dream of having a professional little girls soccer team is just not that important." He says.

Louis smiles and nods. "Yes, exactly." He softly agrees.

"I'm joking!" Harry shouts in a random outburst before angrily stomping away.

Louis holds his chest from the scare and feels his heart beating rapidly. Sometimes, he thinks he is scared of this Harry. Louis' had multiple experiences with his competitiveness, but him and losing? Oh, that never goes well.

Later that day, Harry leaves to see a movie with Keke and he's given the time to read. Dakota walks down the stairs and scurries to him. "Where is he?" She whispers. Louis arches an eyebrow. "Who, your mother?"

"Yeah." She confirms with a nod.

"Oh, he went out." Louis answers.

Dakota sighs in relief and walks to the couch opposite of him. "Good, we need to talk."

"What's the matter, soccer's not fun with your Mommy coaching?"

Dakota answers hysterically. "Dad, he goes crazy, he blows the whistle, then he yells at everybody! Ask Junior!" She exclaims when her brother just so happens to pass by. Louis raises his head to his son. "Your mom's a tough coach?"

"He's terrible, Dad. He's yelling at seven year olds to drop and give twenty. They can't even count past three!"

Louis chuckles and he continues. "Then he yelled at this one kid so loud, he wet himself!"

Louis hums. "I thought it was an all girls team?"

"I was scared." Junior defends and ascends up the stairs.

Louis smiles at his son and then looks at Dakota. "I'll talk to your mother, okay?"

"He's going to yell at you, too." Dakota warns as she gets up.

Louis waves her off. "I'm not afraid of him."

"You should be." She says.

Louis laughs incredulously and listens to Dakota's scurrying feet up the stairs. Now, he understands that Harry is competitive, he's been with him for eighteen years, but he also knows Harry can be too eager. Take their samba lessons for example; there's two versions of Harry's competitiveness – kind of like an alter ego. There's the bubbly and excited one from the samba lessons, and then there's the unforgivable (kind of rude) and hysterical one that is currently coaching the twins' soccer team. He knows Harry just wants to win, and forgive him for the straightforwardness, but the girls kind of suck at soccer, but they won't get anywhere with Harry's consistent pushing.

That's why Louis will have a nice, mature conversation with his husband about the matter.

The room's dark and cold with the blinds shut, but their bubble is humid and engaged with sweat and the sticky lubrication from their activities. Harry moans inside his husband's mouth and digs his nails into his shoulder blade, tensing as another delirious thrust hits his prostate. Louis thrusts harder, the cacophonous sound of their skin and lube echoing through the room. The noise encourages him further, but before he can get anywhere near cumming - Harry blows that damned whistle and he startles off him.

They wanted to go for marathon sex since they've been missing it for the past month, and Harry insisted on wearing the stupid whistle. Louis was opposed to the idea, but Harry made it clear that he would not do anything with him if he didn't, so he sluggishly agreed. Harry also said that it would go longer in thanks to the whistle, so they've been interrupted three times so far by the whistle. Harry exhales deeply as he tries to regain his breath, speaking disordiently. "You have to slow down!"

Louis' shoulders sag as he falls back against the headboard. "I can't when you've been edging me for the past three hours!"

"Louis, this is important. You're thirty five and losing your stamina, I'm helping you!"

Okay, Louis should be offended by Harry's proclamation, but he ignores it. "Let's go back three out of five." He decides.

"Alright." Harry agrees and blows his whistle, about to lay down but Louis stops him. "Easy, baby, give it some more time."

Harry nods and sits up, steadying his breathing. "Okay, that gives me time to work on my playbook." He says, turning the lamp on and grabbing the sketch of the soccer field. Louis glances at the book and he remembers the complaint Dakota had made. He leans on his elbows and begins. "You know, Haz, I think you're taking this coaching thing a little too seriously," Harry makes a face and he continues. "this is supposed to be fun for kids."

"Louis, I am trying to teach these girls about discipline, teamwork, and respect." Harry says.

Louis argues. "But that's not fun when you're five, it's not fun when you're thirty five."

Harry laughs falsely. "Are you trying to tell me how to coach? That's hilarious. Louis, you don't have a clue how to do what I do."

Louis shrugs, not disagreeing. "Probably not, but I bet they would have a lot more fun if I coached."

"You think you're funny?" Harry deadpans.

"I want you to see how ridiculous you're being. I mean, you're hard on them, I'm starting to get concerned for those kids." Louis dramatizes.

Harry rolls his eyes. "Oh, boohoo, the poor kids. I didn't know I was married to Sally Struthers."

Louis sighs and takes Harry's whistle. "You know what, give me this whistle. If you want me to take over, I'll take over." Harry speaks simultaneously over him. "Good, fine. Yeah, take over, you do that."

Louis smirks. "And you also know what?"

"What?" Harry asks in annoyance

"It's time." He blows the whistle and Harry immediately drags himself down the bed, spreading his legs.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Delaney is not happy to hear that Harry won't be coaching her anymore. Overtime, she bonded with his loyalty to the sport, even if he isn't the one playing. She was so upset when she found out Louis would be coaching that she threw a tantrum, blaming it on her sister but Louis coaxed her. "This way, your other siblings can play on the team as well." Louis claimed. "How is Ave supposed to play if it's an all girls team?" She replied with snark.

Louis didn't say anything after that.

Now, he has all the girls and Avery gathered on the carpet as he explains the game. "Let's forget the rules right now. I want us to concentrate on the fundamentals of the game, and you can't have fundamentals without having fun, or damentals for that matter." He says. 

Delaney raises her hand. "What are damentals?" 

Louis smiles and crouches down to her level. "Well, it looks like little miss Delaney Maeve doesn't know everything, does she?" He derides. Delaney pokes her tongue out at him and he answers. "Damentals, my little genius, are the thing that goes on inside your brain that prevent you from having fun while playing soccer. You see, damentals tell you 'you're not fast enough, you're not strong enough to play soccer.' That's why we have to make damentals, fun. Fundamentals! You got it?" He tells them. 

The girls and Avery cheer and he ushers them out of the house to go to the soccer field. By no means is Louis as athletic as he was in high school, but he somewhat has the children practice while also having fun like he said. And besides, most of them either just started school or aren't even school age. 

When they come back home, Dakota beams as she walks beside her Dad. "That was the best, Daddy. I had so much fun." She says. 

"You mean, it was fundamental." Louis cheekily corrects. 

Dakota grins. "I like that you're our coach, Daddy. I love soccer!"

Louis combs his fingers through her sweaty hair. "I love you. Now go take a shower." She obliges and runs up the stairs happily. Delaney only eyes him up and down before walking away. Louis sighs and turns around to find Harry standing by the doorway to the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest. "It looks like you've got a really big fan." He says. 

Louis shrugs. "She's just trying to cover up all the pain of losing you as a coach." 

"You don't have to sugarcoat, Louis. If the team likes you better, it's okay." Harry calmly derisives. He heads to the kitchen to finish dinner and Louis follows. "No, baby, those girls love you, I could never replace you. I just think that maybe my coaching techniques are a little more suited for five year olds." 

Harry hums. "Right, well just out of curiosity, what plays did you go over?" 

"Oh, we didn't go over plays. We just kind of went out there and fooled around a little." 

Harry spins around. "What the hell are you doing to my team?"

Louis finishes his sip on his water and puts his hands up defensively. "You asked me to coach them." 

The younger man scoffs and places the bowl of butter bread on the table. "They were running around today like chickens with their heads cut off." 

"You were spying on us? I thought that tree had a nice ass." Louis unnecessarily comments. Harry rolls his eyes and nods in confirmation, grabbing a bowl of salad. "That was me, and you were pathetic, Louis! Kick with your feet in the air?! What was that, Louis? And you know what, you think I didn't see my picture on that net? I saw my picture on that net!"

Louis laughs under his breath and approaches him. "I think it's way too early for you to be criticizing my coaching methods." 

"What coaching methods? There were no coaching methods- you didn't even blow your whistle! How do you even expect them to shut up if you don't blow your whistl-" 

Louis blows it in his face, cutting him off. "Listen, we are talking about little girls.. and Avery. This is only about them having fun, not about winning." 

"Let me tell you this, all the love they have for you is going to go straight to the crapper the minute you lose your first game, you want my help." Harry says and starts to walk away. 

"We're not going to lose the first game, we're going to win." Louis calls. "..I hope." 

They end up losing the game. The team stomps into the room or walks sluggishly, sulking about their ultimate loss. Louis sighs as he sees the state of the children and tries to coax them. "Come on, guys. Where's your team spirit? I mean, even though we lost, it wasn't that bad." He says. Delaney stops and glares. "Eighteen to nothing is pretty bad." 

"Keep in mind that you scored twelve for them!" Louis tells them. 

The kids groan and Delaney sighs. "I'd be happy if I scored just one goal." 

"That could very well happen, we just need some more practice. We need a little more heart, a little more determination." Louis encourages. 

"If he says fundamentals one more time, I'm going to shoot." Delaney murmurs. 

Harry prances into the living room cheerily, greeting the children. "Guys, how'd it go?!" He exclaims. Louis smiles with a closed mouth, holding his hands in front of him as he gazes over the kids. "It was great. We came in second." 

Harry grins passively. "Oh, that's okay, as long as you guys had fun." The younger man crouches to Delaney. "Delaney, did you have fun losing eighteen to zero?" 

Delaney scowls. "What the hell do you think?"

Louis frowns. "Hey, language, Delaney." 

Delaney sighs exasperatedly. "I am pretty p-ed off." 

Harry nods in affirmation. "Mr. Tomlinson's right, you guys need to watch your language. That's what I'm going to teach my new team." He vaguely informs as he stands in front of everyone. Louis raises an eyebrow. "You have a new team?"  

"Oh, I didn't tell you? The league called me in today and apparently one of the coaches of the other teams got caught in a skiing accident and they asked me to take over the Blue Jays." Harry pulls open his coat and reveals a soccer jersey, and everyone gasps⎼ scandalized. Louis does too, but then he frowns. "Why're we scared?" 

"The Blue Jays are nasty and mean, and one of them looks like she shaves." Delaney answers. 

"Well, it can't be that bad, huh?" Louis wonders. 

"See for yourself, baby, because we're going to be playing you next week." Harry says chirpily. 

Louis frowns. "Why're you doing this?" 

"Because I thought it would be fun."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The next week is torturous. Louis knows, God, he knows that the team is most likely going to lose. While he doesn't really care about a dumb scoreboard, the girls are worried about it; Avery not included because he honestly just wants to be involved more than anything else - and he'd rather run around in circles like a dog chasing it's tail than play. But the girls? Oh, they're sick, and Harry's 'innocent' jabs at the twins isn't making it any better. 

Louis also knows that Harry can be competitive, but how much does he have to be? Enough that Dakota's practically pulling her hair out from stress and Delaney's pissed because she can't play on her Mom's team? To make matters worse, Harry is a sore loser, and a cheater! As he's currently pestering Eileen for answers, and all the girl wants to do is just get out the damn house. "You've seen your father's practice, right? What plays are they using?" Harry attempts to casually mention. 

Eileen hunches her shoulders, curling into herself as she nervously answers. "They don't have plays, they just eat candy and run around in circles until they get dizzy." She flinches from the ball Harry's tossing in his hands and glares at him. 

Harry squints his eyes and then huffs. "Come on, Eileen, you've got to know something." He jerks the ball in front of her face like he'd throw it and she scoffs, fleeting for the front door. Louis walks into the living room and she calls from the door. "Dad, he's crazy!"

"Stop torturing the girl, she doesn't know anything." Louis says. 

Harry smiles teasingly. "Oh, could it be that somebody's frightened about the big game on Saturday?" 

Louis rolls his eyes and sits on the dining room chair. "You're the only one thinking about it, and it's not a big game, it's actually as small as a game can get." 

"Waving the white flag already." Harry says. 

"Well, actually, I think we have a chance." 

Harry laughs like that's the funniest thing he's ever heard. "You do now?" 

"That's right, Dakota did pretty damn good out there, today."

"Why, Dakota? I'm shaking in my boots about big bad Dakota." Harry jests. Louis shakes his head at his husband's childishness and falls back in his seat. "I give up."

Harry raises his eyebrows tauntingly. "Oh, that's a good slogan for your team. I give up." He enthuses before walking away with his folder for the Blue Jays. 

Later in the bedroom, Louis just has to ask Harry what happened to make him so competitive at coaching. One thing he's learned about the man is that there's always some kind of origin story behind his behaviors, and he has no choice but to figure out. So, as they sit on the separate small couches in their room- Harry wearing his skimpy robe and Louis in lousy pajamas, he finally asks. "Harry, how did you get so competitive?"

"There's a long story behind it." Harry pouts, reminiscing. 

"Okay, never mind." Louis says and grabs his book. 

"No! Baby, I'll feel much better if I tell the story." Harry whines. His husband sighs and smiles falsely. "I'm sure I won't, but continue." 

Harry sits up on his chair and plays with the sleeves of his robe. "Well, you may not believe this, but there was a time in my life when I was considered a.. big boy."

"Really?" 

"Yes, now at that time I was seven years old, about 3'2 and about eighty one pounds. My Dad, the marine sergeant, thought it would be a good idea if I got some exercise. So he signed me up for the little boys soccer team." 

"As what, the goalie?" Louis quips. 

Harry nods. "Actually, they called me the wall. Nothing could get by me, I finally felt like somebody and the kids weren't teasing me anymore saying fat fat water rag, go and scratch your hairy back."

"I can't tell you how much of a turn off this is." Louis comments, easing Harry's nervousness. Harry rolls his eyes. "Anyway, nothing could get in my way⎼ I was hot. No matter how hard any team tried, I was just quicker and blocked the ball so fast. No one bothered me anymore, but then, I come to practice one day and the coach told me that they put a new person on the team. It was some boy that was small, he couldn't even cover the first three inches of the goal! I got kicked off the team and they replaced me with some beanpole! Then the kids went back to calling me fat fat water rag, go and scratch your hairy back." Harry narrates the entire story with animation, and when he finishes, he seems to have worked himself up. 

Louis coos and opens his arms, allowing his husband to sit on his lap. "Oh, baby, I didn't know that about you." He says as he rubs his hands up and down his back. Harry grumbles, burying his face into Louis' shirt. "I forgot about it until I started coaching the team. I don't want any of them to feel like they aren't enough!" He exclaims, somewhat explaining his reason. 

Louis hums and pinches his cheek. "That doesn't mean you work them like some military camp." He scolds. Harry sighs and rests his head back on his shoulder. "I guess. But y'know, I'm still going to win." 

Louis snorts. "I know."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The team wasn't going to give up, they were going to go up! Not to heaven, obviously. Their scores would go up, and hopefully the girls wouldn't have to put through the shame of losing. Saturday came quicker than Louis' mind could process, and soon, he was standing above all the girls, and Avery, on the soccer field⎼ right before the game starts. "Alright girls, are we ready to have some fun?!" He shouts. 

"Yeah!" They all cheer. 

"Okay, remember, I want you to keep that energy up! How do we keep our energy up? Two words, pixie stick!"

"Yay!" 

Louis goes to the container full of candies and grabs the sticks, handing them to a couple of girls. "I want you to pass that around, everybody get some," Avery happens to take most of them, sticking his tongue out when a girl tries to complain. He looks at Avery. "but remember, you have to keep your eyes on the ball at all times. Just pretend that the ball is Avan Jogia." 

"Avery likes boys, Avery likes boys." Dakota teases in a sing-song voice. 

"I like boys," Avery nods. "But I don't just like boys. I like flowers, I like pop-its, I like science, I like math, and I like these!" He exclaims, hopping around as he holds the multiple pixie sticks in his hands. Louis realizes how hysterical his son has gotten- and he truly does not want to deal with his sugar crash in the next hour, so he takes them away. 

"Those are mine!" Avery shouts. 

"No more of these." Louis scolds. He regains the focus of the girls and sighs. "I want you guys all to know that no matter what happens out there today, I believe in you, okay? There's not a team in the world that we should be afraid to play." 

"Oh yeah? Look." Delaney points. Louis follows her finger, only to find what he assumes is Harry's team, and he now understands what she meant by a 'girl' that looks like she shaves. Because sure enough, there is 5'2 muscly wo-man marching with girl's behind them. Harry smiles proudly as he approaches Louis. "The Blue Jays wish you guys good luck. May the best team win. Wish them luck Blue Jays." 

The girls and wo-man oblige and Louis furrows his eyebrows, his lips turning in distaste. "Are you sure those are all girls?" 

Harry frowns. "Of course they are, Louis." 

"All of them? What about this one?" He beckons his head at whatever the person is and they fluff out their pigtails. "Oh, Angel? She's our secret weapon, she's from East Germany; raised under a power line." 

She smiles and Louis shakes his head. "That still doesn't explain why she's wearing a cup." 

Harry rolls his eyes. "Do you want to chat or would you like to play some soccer?"

The ref blows the whistle, and the game finally begins.  

The Blue Jays play good, like Louis expected and they make almost no goals. Instead of playing, most of the girls end up running in fear from Angel. But at the last fifteen seconds, when a red haired girl has the ball and Dakota's desperately waving her arms for her to kick, she does and it bounces from Avery's head to Dakota's falling into the goal. Everyone on the team cheers happily and Dakota pulls off her shirt, waving it in victory. 

Harry watches Louis run to the two responsible for their goal, lifting them on both of his shoulders and cheering. He bites his lip and ponders. Although Blue Jays won, they're still so happy about scoring at least one goal. Maybe it wasn't that special. 

Still, after the game, he takes the team to the house to eat pizza, and Louis happens to bring the girls there with pizza as well. Louis raises his eyebrow. "Hey, I guess the Blue Jays are still celebrating their victory, huh?" 

Harry presses his lips together. "Actually, we're not celebrating our victory. We're celebrating my retirement from coaching." 

"Yay!" The children all shout. 

Except Angel, who comes jumping into Harry's arms, crying. Harry grunts from her heavy body and struggles to drop her back on the couch. "It's alright- girl, sit down." Louis smiles in confusion, not sure whether he should feel like Angel was being sweet, or if that was weird. Harry exhales loudly after releasing her from his arms and approaches his husband. "I think I acted ridiculously. Will you forgive me?" He apologizes. 

"Of course I'll forgive you. But why the sudden change of heart?" Louis wonders. 

"It made me realize what I've been missing all these years." Harry answers lightly. 

Louis arches an eyebrow. "What, medication?" 

Harry laughs and rolls his eyes. "No, fun." 

Louis smiles and puts his hand over his kids heads. "Good for you. They were very good." 

Harry scrunches his nose as he smiles and squeezes Avery's cheeks. "Yes, come here, baby. That was a great goal, I was so proud of you!" He says and kisses his face. He does it to the twins as  well, listing his favorite things from their plays. 

"Well, I'm going to go get us drinks." Louis says but Harry stops him. "No, I'll get it for you." 

"Bring her a beer." Louis tells him, referring to Angel. 

Harry looks over his shoulder, holding a grin that screams it's not funny, but it is. 

"Haz, I'm really happy you're finally able to let this whole winning thing go." Louis says. 

Harry smiles. "Me too, it's really a relief." He turns and heads inside the kitchen for their drinks. "13:01, sucker." He whispers in a quiet cheer. 

Chapter Text

Harry comes into the kitchen, ready and dressed for work. His hair's pulled back into a bun and he's wearing a blue suit with his husband in mind. He's especially surprised when he finds his husband standing in the kitchen, holding a plate in front of him like he's been waiting for a while. "Good morning?" He greets skeptically. Louis smiles. "Good morning. You look beautiful." 

"Thank you. What have you got there?" Harry questions, gazing over the plate. 

Louis joyfully answers. "Right, I made your favorite. Whole grain waffles and blueberry compote. I also have a pumpkin chai latte on the table for you." 

Harry grins. "Oh, that's so sweet of you, baby," He coos. "What did you do?" His sappiness immediately disappears and he's now glaring at him. Louis rolls his eyes with faux annoyance. "What, I can't make something nice for my husband?" 

"You can, but not with this breakfast. Whenever you make this, you did something, so how much is it?" 

Louis furrows his eyebrows and glares at him. "I can't believe you would assume I have done something. I just wanted to be nice, since you've been working so hard lately." He dramatically says. Harry looks at him seriously. "Louis, it was sweet the first time, but you've done the same thing for sixteen years, and I've known you long enough to understand that something has happened. You can not fool me." 

Louis waves his hand at him mindlessly. "Whatever. I've come to accept that my husband does not trust me." 

Harry eyes him from the corner of his eye and takes the plate of waffles from him. "I messed up your sketchbook." Louis blurts out. The younger man immediately pivots. "What the hell did you do to my sketchbook?!" He demands. 

Louis sighs. "Okay, okay, but you can't be mad at me. I promise, I didn't do it on purpose, it was just in the heat of the moment-"

"Louis, tell me what the hell you did to my sketchbook." 

"Okay. You remember how you took that trip to New York for your fashion show? Well, while you were gone, I had my needs like a normal grown man does. I remembered that you had this picture that you look so good in, baby, I'm telling you. It looks so much like how you do when I come on your face."

Normally, Harry would be flattered, but right now- that only makes him angrier. "Louis." He hisses. 

"Right. That picture's on the first page of your book, you know how you put it there in case it's used as an artifact in the future? So, I jerked off to it with only the intention of coming on that page, but I got a little carried away and I promise, I did the smart thing and bent the spine to just have that page. But it got a little crazy, so I tried to  flip it over, but I ended up coming on one of your sketches! And then it seeped in about three pages." Louis says. 

Harry's mouth drops in disbelief. "Louis, you came on my sketchbook?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" 

"You were gone!"

"So you come- you could have called me or something! Now, I have to present my designs with fucking come on them, do you realize how much of a maniac I'll look like?!" 

Louis grabs his husband by the shoulders, trying to ease the situation. "You won't look like a maniac, baby. Just don't flip on those pages." 

"It's the front pages, Louis, of course I'll flip on them! And it's not only one, it's three. Three pages that has your semen on it, oh my god! You don't know how much I want to squeeze your neck like a fucking water bottle right now!"

Louis chuckles. "Well, I wouldn't mind that." 

Harry slaps his chest and the hands on him. "Not the time! You wonder why Junior's so stupid sometimes?" 

"Why?" Louis genuinely asks.

"Because of you! He took on from you! I should have known you were dumb the day I conceived Junior when you told me, if we think hard enough, I wouldn't get pregnant!" Harry derides, pointing his finger at him. Louis takes his hand and slowly lowers it, unable to mask is slight offense at Harry's ridicule. "Okay, first, it takes two to tango."

"And it takes one boy's sperm to pass on the dumb gene!"

Louis huffs. "I will not accept this degradation. If you're not using it to please me, you can move along."

"I will! And I'll be taking these waffles with me!" Harry exclaims and leaves the room. Alice runs into him on her way out and she frowns. "What's wrong with him?" 

Louis waves his hand. "Grown up stuff." 

Alice perks, beaming confidently. "I can take it! My teacher actually told me that I was the most mature girl he's had in his class so far." She says proudly. 

"Great," Louis sarcastically says. "then I guess you won't mind that it has to do with s-e-" He doesn't even need to finish for her to run away. Louis laughs to himself and bites on his knuckles. Eileen lethargically walks into the kitchen with her fluffy pink blanket around her shoulders, her hair matted and eyes droopy. "Hey, Da-" before she finishes her sentence she starts to violently cough. Louis leans away from her in disgust. "I'm so sorry. Daddy, I don't think I can go to school today. I feel so sick." She says solemnly. 

"Oh, my poor baby," Louis churns falsely and squishes her cheeks until her lips pucker. "Go get your clothes on, you're still going to school." 

Eileen whines. "Dad! I've coughed so much I feel like blood will come up." 

"That's too bad." 

Harry enters the kitchen again with his work bag around his shoulders, collecting his folders and magazines. He notices the silence of the room and arches an eyebrow, looking at the expecting eyes of his husband and daughter. "Is there something wrong?" 

"I'm sick, Mommy!" Eileen cries. 

"Oh, do not fall for that, Harry." Louis mutters. 

Harry tilts his head, and just to spite. "No, Louis. Our daughter looks terrible, you're signing her up for embarrassment. Come on, honey, you can stay home. When I come back, I'll make you some herbal tea." He promises sweetly, kissing Eileen's forehead. He smiles softly and waves goodbye to Eileen, his heels clicking behind him as he heads over to the front door. "Oh, and Louis? I'm changing out your office for my office, since you apparently can't keep your grubby hands off my work." The door shuts and Louis gawks, ignoring the taunting laughs from his daughter. 

The rest of the morning flies by calmly. Louis gets the kids to school successfully and returns home, knowing that Eileen's in her room. He shuts the door with a sigh and prepares himself a cup of tea while whistling to himself. Walking through the foyer, he runs into Eileen, casually dressed in a tube top and jeans, her hair done and ill facade gone. "I thought you were sick?" 

"Ah!" She screams. She slowly recovers from her scare and plasters on a hurt expression. "I mean, ow." Eileen coughs into her hands and looks up at him frighteningly. "What're you doing down here, Eileen?" 

Eileen laughs awkwardly. "I just came to get some water," she says, passing by him. Don't you have work today?" 

"I do. I'm staying to make sure  you're okay." 

She puts a smile on her lips. "Of course I am. Now, you can go." 

Louis stalls for a moment, throwing her a couple skeptical looks over his shoulder as he walks to the door. "Make sure you feed Cliff and Beans at the appropriate times." He says. Eileen nods with exaggerated enthusiasm, patiently waiting for him to leave. When the door shuts she scurries to the screen door to the backyard and slides it open. She makes a bird-like sound and waits, a dolphin echo in return. 

"The coast is clear!" She whisper shouts. 

Evan escapes from the bushes and almost falls face first, but Eileen catches him. She dusts the grass off his clothes and frowns. "What was that? I said to make sounds you'd hear in a farm." 

"You could hear a dolphin! It could be a dolphin farm." Evan defends himself. Eileen rolls her eyes and grabs his hand. "Whatever, come on." She lets him inside and shuts the door behind her, smiling shyly. "Well, this is my home. I can't believe I got my parents to believe that I'm actually sick." She says. 

Evan's eyebrows draw in confusion. "I thought we were sick?" 

"No, silly. I said we would say that so we could skip the day. So, what do you want to do?" 

Evan shrugs. "I want to do whatever you want to do." 

"You're the guest, so I want to do what you want to do." 

"It's your house, I wanna do what you want to do." Evan replies. 

Eileen smiles dumbly. "Let's just watch TV." The couple walk to the couch and sit together, Eileen reaching for the remote. She looks at her boyfriend. "What do you want to watch?" 

"I want to watch whatever you want to watch." 

"You're the guest, you pick what you want to watch." 

"It's your TV, you pick." 

Eileen laughs. "Let's just go to my room." 

Louis didn't actually leave the house, he instead stood at the side of the house, and then to the screen door when they were inside. He was completely thrown off when he saw a guy he's never seen in their home. If anything, he would have expected one of Eileen's girl friends. Louis follows them with his eyes until she isn't in sight anymore and he pushes the door open, shaking his head. It was a damn pain listening to them repeat the same thing over again, but what's worse, is that Eileen lied and snuck someone she hasn't even introduced before into their home.

Inside the bedroom, Eileen falls down onto her soft bed, the comforter bouncing. Evan sits beside her and puts his hands in his lap. "So, what do you want to do?" He asks. Eileen giggles faintly and reaches up to cradle his jaw. "Enough of that. What I really want, is to kiss you." She says. 

Evan smiles nervously. "Really?" 

"Mhm." Their lips inch for a second, only for it to be gone the moment Louis opens the door. "Eileen Valerie Tomlinson, you better say goodbye to your life because the moment I tell your mother, it's over." 

Eileen's eyes widen comically and she coughs into her elbow. 

"He's sitting right beside you, Eileen. You go stand up and I want you," he points to Evan. "out of my house." 

Evan stands up and his eyebrows draw in worry. "I'm really sorry, sir-" 

"Do I have to throw you out?" 

That's enough to make him shut up and rush out of the room. Louis slowly turns to his daughter and sighs. "I'm very disappointed in you right now." He simply says before shutting the door. 

Later that day, Harry returns home like he said. He has the twins with him after picking them up from daycare, holding their hands as they ramble on about their day. "Mommy, we learned a song today!" Allison exclaims. 

"Really? Can I hear?" Harry questions and closes the front door, taking their small bookbags from them. Faith nods and grabs her sister's hand. They start to stomp their feet and begin to sing in a little accent. "Hey little critter, hey little critter, hey little critter, hey, hey!" 

Harry bobs his head to the song, smiling. "That's great-" 

"We're not done! Don't fight little critter, don't fight little critter, please don't fight." 

Harry claps his hands. "Goo-" 

"We're not done! Hey, little critter. Little critter, hey. Please don't fight, don't fight, little critter. Hey, hey!" They slow down the notes and sing more dramatically, both sisters sounding off beat from the other. Harry was genuinely excited to hear them, but now he's partially regrets asking them to. Thankfully, that was the end, and he's able to applaud them with no further interruptions. "That was really good, girls. I'm very proud of you." 

"Thank you, mommy." Faith says. He gives them a hug and tells them to play, heading to the kitchen to prepare Eileen's tea. He frowns at the sight of his husband and passes him to open the shelf containing their items from the farm. "I don't think you'll be needing to make her anything." Louis speaks. 

Harry rolls his eyes. "You've spent the whole day with her and you're still not believing her?" 

"Well, jokes on you, she actually lied. You see, Harry, your daughter pretended to be sick today, so she could invite a boy over." Harry's eyes widen and Louis smirks. "Bet you didn't expect that, huh? You're not so angry about this morning anymore because now you get to bask in the shame of trying to get me back. Do you feel ashamed, Harry?" He teases. 

Harry glares at Louis for his immature behavior and shakes his head. "I'm going to talk to her." He mutters. Harry blows a raspberry as he stands in front of her pink door, twisting his silver band. He collects his thoughts and pushes the door open. Eileen raises her head from where she was focused on her hands and bites her lip. "Hey. Um, did Dad tell you?" 

"He did." Harry confirms. 

Eileen exhales loudly and he slowly approaches her. "And I'm very disappointed in you, Eileen. I even defended you!" 

"I thought you guys were arguing." She shrieks. 

"We were, but that's besides the point, Eileen. I had a lot of hope for you, anyway. To make the right decision. But while I'm heavily disappointed in you, I'm not angry at you." She wears an expression of surprise and Harry nods, his lips closed in a thin line. He sits down beside her on the bed and sits crisscross. "I don't think that it was smart for you to invite a boy over without your father or I's permission. It's very dangerous, honey, especially now. Now, I understand that there may have been that rush when sneaking him in, but you have to think. Something dangerous could have happened and no one would have known." He says gravely. 

Eileen looks down at her hands guiltily and Harry reaches for her hands. He gives them a tight squeeze and continues, "I would really like to meet him." She smiles and gushes as she speaks. "He's really sweet, Mom." 

"Then I'm sure I'll like him." Harry says. He stands up to declare his goodbye and grabs her cheeks to peck her forehead. "I love you, and remember to be responsible." 

He returns to his bedroom and finds Louis sitting at the foot of the bed. Louis grins at him. "What'd you do? Did you ground her?" He wonders, too enthusiastic about the subject. Harry rolls his eyes and shuts the door behind himself, starting to pull off his jewelry. "No, I didn't." 

Louis furrows his eyebrows. "What, why?" 

Harry presses his lips together and lethargically turns around, leaning against the dresser. "I think.. it's time to let Eileen date." 

"You have lost your mind." Louis says. 

"Eileen's very responsible, I know I can trust her to do the things she knows not to do." 

Louis shakes his head in denial. "She won't. Baby, this is just asking for a grandchild. Do you think I want a grandchild at thirty five?" 

Harry rolls his eyes at his dramatics and stands between his legs. "We won't, because she isn't like us. But she will be if you try to keep her isolated her whole life. You remember how my Dad was. That was the reason that I even had sex- not that it was the only reason, because I did like you, and now I love you, but my Dad was what encouraged me." 

Louis twists his lips and Harry tilts his head up, staring at him seriously. "You know I'm right. If you just let her be, nothing will happen. You can't assume that everything's going to go like how it was for us, and it won't if we can prevent it- without being overbearing." Harry says. 

Louis sighs. "I guess." 

Harry presses a longing kiss to his forehead. When he pulls away, he smiles. "I know that you don't want her to grow up, but she's sixteen. It's bound to happen. At least thank God he's not someone like you in high school." 

"Hey." Louis huffs. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

When Louis steps into the lower floor, he smells the strong scent of dinner. He arches an eyebrow and follows the path to the kitchen, finding Harry at the stove, steam surrounding him and a pan of brussel sprouts. "What're you preparing to feed, a hog?" Louis quips when he sees the amount of food cooking. 

Harry smiles and shakes his head. "No, it's for us and our guest." 

"And who might our guest be?" 

"Evan." 

Louis groans and his husband scolds him. "We talked about this. You're going to be mature, open minded, and kind to this boy. He's done nothing to make us believe otherwise, and you can do all the interrogating at the table, alright? We're not going to judge someone we don't know." 

Louis continues to make stubborn noises of obvious refusal, but Harry chooses to ignore him and focus on the brussel sprouts. 

Niall drops the twins back off from soccer practice, only a couple minutes before Evan arrives. This stresses Harry, because he wanted everyone to look presentable, and now his girls are covered in dirt and grass and smell like outside. Still, he tries to get them to wash up while he still prepares plates, swatting their bums to get them to hurry. Dakota giggles loudly as he chases her, running in nothing but her underwear. 

Delaney stands in front of her and opens her arms, her twins body flying into her's. Harry groans when they start to cry due to the collision, vociferating their pain. "I told you to sit down! Go put on your clothes." 

"But my knee is broken!" Delaney declares dramatically. 

"Your knee is not broken. You should of thought about that before you decided to act like a fool. I'll put some ice on it later, go get dressed." Harry says. 

Delaney whines and stands up, hitting her sister. 

"Delaney Maeve, don't make me take away your tablet." 

That gets her to scramble to her feet and do as she was told. Harry sighs tiredly and walks down the hallway, headed to the stairs when he runs into Faith. "Mama, I don't feel good." She whimpers. Harry frowns and kneels to her level, grabbing a hold of her cheeks. "Oh, baby, you do feel kind of warm," he nibbles on his lip. "I'll get you some medicine. Let's go lay on the couch for now, is that fine?" 

Faith agrees quietly and he lifts her into his arms, carrying her down the stairs. Louis turns his head away from the TV, finding his youngest daughter cuddled to Harry like a koala. "What happened?" He asks. 

"She may be coming down with a cold. Since you're not actually watching the food, let her sleep her for a little bit while I get some benardryl." Harry says. He's in the hallway closet with the intention of getting Faith's medicine when the smoke detector goes off. Harry doesn't even have time to get her medicine and runs into the kitchen, waving the smoke out of his eyes. 

He finds it coming from the oven and quickly pulls the mits down his hands, opening it. More smoke fills the air and he takes both pans of lasagna and garlic bread out, shutting it. "I told you to watch the food!" He complains loudly. 

"I did!" Louis shouts back. 

"Clearly, not enough!" He grumbles. He can't tell which food was ruined in the oven, but he hopes it's still good. Harry sighs exasperatedly and starts to fix plates, just as Eileen comes down the stairs. "Everything alright, Mom?" She wonders. 

"Peachy." Harry answers emotionlessly. 

Eileen examines the kitchen, seeing the intense amount of smoke and understands. "It's okay, Mom. You still did amazing, and I'm sure it tastes great." 

Harry pouts his bottom lip, his shoulders slouching. "You don't have to try and make me feel better, Eileen. Dinner's ruined." 

"It's not, Mom. Evan's supposed to be here in only two minutes, you've got time." 

Harry gasps. "Two minutes?! Why didn't you tell me, Eileen, your brother's drawls probably aren't on properly! Ugh! Junior!" He stomps out the room to find his son. Eileen purses her lips and slowly exits the kitchen, spotting her Dad and Faith on the couch. She hasn't really spoken to him since the incident, she rather keep it safe before she ends up saying something wrong and is miraculously grounded in an attempt to cover up Louis' hatred towards Evan. 

She crosses her arms over her chest and stands in front of him. "Dad, I come to put a case on the jury." She comically says. 

Louis raises an eyebrow. "And what may that be?" 

"If all my siblings like Evan, then you have to, too." 

He hums considerately. "And if they don't?" 

"Then you may dislike him whatever way you want, and I won't complain." She says. 

Louis makes a noise in his throat. "I'll think about it. The council dismisses you." 

Eileen smiles and kisses his cheek. "Thanks." 

With Delaney and Dakota dressed, and Faith feeling somewhat better, the family is prepared for their guest. Harry has Claire and Alice set up the table and has the younger children focus on getting their butts in their seats. Harry ensures to give Faith extra care, situating her in her booster seat and feeding her the benadryl he promised. Now, the family is ready, and Evan is at the door, dressed in a grey button up and slacks, holding two bouquets of flowers. He smiles at the man and politely offers them. "Good evening, Mr. Tomlinson. I brought some flowers for you, they're peonies, it's the best thing I thought described you from what Eileen's told me."

Harry coos and takes the flowers from him, grinning. "That's so sweet of you, Evan, and please, call me Harry." 

Louis rolls his eyes from behind him, just as Eileen passes him. She throws a warning look over her shoulder and opens her arms to hug her boyfriend. Evan reciprocates, happily offering her bouquet of flowers. "Marigolds, your favorite." He says. 

Eileen giggles. "Thank you, Evan." She holds his hand and guides him into the house, and once they're inside the dining room; ten eyes land on him. "These are my siblings." She introduces vaguely. Evan politely waves at them, offering a wave. He looks down at the multiple plates of food and smiles at Harry. "This looks great, Mr- Harry." 

Harry gives a dimpled smile. "Thank you. Go take a seat, I'll get the drinks." Louis places a hand on his shoulder. "Easy, baby. Why don't I, and you go and sit down?" 

Harry squints, searching for any intentions behind his husband's expression and finds nothing. "Fine." 

The dinner goes smoothly, of course it would, with Harry's cooking.. the socializing? Not so much. All the kids either like Evan or can tolerate him, which is good enough. But Louis doesn't seem to budge, even when it's made clear that Evan's intentions will never be anywhere near sexual; being that he's strictly religious and is anything but a pervert. This severely backfires Louis' plans to interrogate him, because from what he's seen, Evan is every synonym to the word weak⎼ the kid even falls for Adeline's pranks. 

Louis grumbles after a once again, unsuccessful berate toward the teenage boy and stabs his fork into his lasagna, shoving it into his mouth. "Do you have any siblings?" Harry asks. He's been contributing to a lot of conversation towards the boy, and is actively having him talk to avoid feeling alone in such a big family. 

"Yeah, I have an older sister named Leah, but I don't see her much, since she didn't really believe in God and my parents kicked her out." Evan says sadly. 

Harry frowns. "Oh, I'm sorry." 

Louis' posture straightens with the new idea he has. "So, do you actually believe in God, or are you only doing it out of fear of your parents?" He quizzes skeptically. Harry elbows him harshly and Louis grunts under his breath. He glares at him from the corner of his eye and gazes back at Evan for his answer. "Oh, yes, I'm a strong believer. But that doesn't mean that I think what my parents did was right- or do I think that everyone has to follow God. I respect everyone's opinions, and I strictly believe in treating everyone with love." Evan says. 

Louis rolls his eyes irritably. 

"My friend, Paige is religious, and she told me that sex is a sin." Phoebe randomly mentions. 

Harry chokes on the water he was drinking, gasping for air. Louis pats his back to help him breathe, questioning his daughter. "Love, maybe not now?" 

Phoebe shrugs. "I just thought I'd mention it, since we were talking about love." 

"I know about sex, too! Uncle Niall was saying that's how you had us!" Dakota exclaims. 

Harry gags on his water, gripping on the table cloth. "Baby, come on, breathe." Louis whispers sharply. The curly haired man shakes his head as tears trickle down the corners of his eyes and his face fades to a light pink. 

"Yeah, Uncle Niall said sex means I love you, though." Delaney adds. 

Avery's mouth falls open in surprise. "Really? Mommy, I sex you!" 

"Oh my god!" Harry cries. 

What's even worse is when Evan tries to innocently explain to them that, that's not what sex means, and that it is a 'beautiful thing' that bonds people's souls- and that's when Louis has to stop him. To sum up the rest of the events, Faith vomits at the table and it flies on Evan's lap, and Allison has diarrhea at the table despite being potty trained. 

When Harry practically evacuated the entire table, sending everyone to bed with Junior's laughs echoing through the hallway, Eileen walks Evan to the door. "I'm really sorry if I ruined dinner." Evan apologizes sincerely. "Don't worry, it's like this all the time." Eileen humorously says.

"But if I hadn't brought up that conversation-"

"Evan, seriously. You just answered the question, honestly, like you always do. I love it when you talk like that." Eileen tells him. 

Evan blushes. "You do?"

"I do," Eileen confirms. "Now, I don't want you worrying about this all night. My Mom really enjoyed your company, even if he can't say it at the moment." 

Evan bites his lip. "What about your Dad?" 

She sucks her teeth. "I don't know about that one. But, within time, I'm sure he will." 

Evan sighs in relief and shoves his hands into his pants pockets. "Okay. Thank you for having me, tonight." 

"You're welcome. Goodnight." She cups his jaw and pecks his lips, wishing him goodbye. When she shuts the door, Louis' cleaning the table, revealing the aftermath of their dinner. Eileen finds it so humorous, a good way to kick off the chaoticness of their family to prepare Evan. "What a night, huh?" She quips. 

Louis looks up from the sponge and hums. "Yeah." 

She leans against the wall, folding her arms in front of her chest. "Everyone seemed to like him well. I mean, except you, of course." 

Louis raises an eyebrow, gathering the table cloth to put in the wash. "After he almost killed your mom this evening? No way." He jests. Eileen rolls her eyes and he laughs, throwing the cloth into the dirty clothes basket. He rubs his hands down on his pants and approaches his daughter leisurely. "I'll be honest with myself for once, but you can not hold this against me." He warns. 

Eileen smiles knowingly and nods for him to continue. 

"While I have not confirmed whether or not I accept your boyfriend, I want you to be happy. And.. he doesn't seem so bad, as long as he doesn't try and kill your Mom again," Eileen laughs. "It's not that I want to be that stereotypical overprotective Dad, I'm just worried. I don't want you, or any of your siblings to go through the same thing your Mom and I did. I obviously don't regret anything, because I wouldn't have you guys, and if any of you weren't in the equation would feel like a piece of the universe is missing, not just a child." 

Eileen coos. "Aw, Dad." 

"I'm not finished," He scolds. "Do you know how young your Mom was when he got pregnant with Junior?" 

Eileen shakes her head, because none of them were ever actually told the story, they only knew that they were still in high school. "He was fifteen. He had your brother at sixteen, and you at seventeen. That was the most stressful situation ever, and while there were good moments in our lives, it wasn't easy. Because his parents didn't support him, and Nana Jay tried her bAest- but she had my sisters to pay for, too. We were tight on money and we missed a lot. Your Mom missed his homecoming, nearly his graduation, and he couldn't go to college with his friends like he originally planned to. It's not all cookies and rainbows, and I don't want you to go through it all because a dumb boy... a dumb boy like I was." Louis states with sincerity. 

When he finishes, Eileen's more than surprised, she's astounded. She genuinely didn't expect all that to be her parents' story, and now that she's heard it, she understands his point of view. Eileen can't help the tremble of her lip as she thinks about it, so she pulls him into a tight embrace, clutching his shirt between her fingers. "You're not dumb, Dad. You're the best Dad I could ask for, a-and every memory I remember, you're in every part of it." She says softly. 

Louis hugs her back, inhaling the scent of her curly hair. "And you can trust me, Dad. I'll be as responsible as you and Mom taught me. Like the amazing parents you are." 

Louis grins and tucks her curl behind her ear. "I love you, Eileen. I hope you and Evan go well." 

"Thanks, Dad." 

Chapter Text

I made up a singer because I didn't know who the hell to use. Just imagine Estrella as some indie artist. Lots of love! Make sure to leave comments and vote, love ya ♡

Audrey walks into the living room where Junior's watching TV and stops beside him, waiting for him to acknowledge her presence. She's been bored in her room ever since she was left alone with him; Eileen had plans with Evan, everyone else were at friend's houses, and her brother and sister were at a doctors appointment. Faith ended up having the flu that night and passed it onto her sister and her older siblings, but Audrey somehow didn't catch the virus. 

With her parents gone, Junior was left in charge of her, but he wasn't doing anything to entertain her, and she was angry. "Junior." She huffs, shaking his shoulder. Junior groans at the sound of her annoying voice and glares at her. "What, Audrey, what?" 

"I'm bored." 

"Go count ducks." Junior dismisses. Audrey whines annoyingly, shaking her head in disagreement. "No, I want to do something fun! You're supposed to be playing with me, that's how babysitters work." She scolds. 

Junior rolls his eyes. "Go get me some popcorn or something."

Audrey perks in excitement. "Like restaurant?" 

"Sure." He mutters mindlessly. Audrey nods and determinedly runs into the kitchen, grabbing the popcorn bag from the cabinet. She comes back and hands him the bag, waiting expectantly for her next instructions. Junior hums as he eats it, clicking his tongue. "This popcorn's kind of salty. Grab me a soda." 

Audrey obliges and goes into the fridge, taking out the bottle. She pours it expertly into their plastic cups and is about to start her way back to the living room when she gets an idea. With a menacing laugh, she spits into the cup before skipping back to him. "Here's your soda, Junior." 

"Thanks." 

Audrey laughs with nothing but pure evil and runs away. 

Mindlessly, Junior drinks his soda while reclined in his chair, enjoying his episode of Chicago PD. He finishes most of his soda by the time he pulls it away and he hums. "'S kind of thick." He murmurs to himself. 

Harry returns home with the kids moments later, all of them moaning in some kind of pain from their vaccinations. Avery's trembling in Harry's arms and clinging to his neck like he has no better place to be, dry tears stained to his rosy cheeks. "June." He calls. 

Junior wakes up from his cat nap, his eyes widening at the sight of his mother. "Oh, hey." 

"Did you watch Audrey like I told you to?" Harry asks, a pinch of irritation in his voice. 

"Of course I did." 

"So where is she?" 

Junior doesn't even have time to respond because Audrey's muffled voice comes from somewhere in the house. "I'm in here Mommy!" Harry raises an eyebrow and glares at his son warningly as he follows the sound of Audrey's voice. He finds her curled into the sink cabinet, pouting dismally. "We were supposed to be playing hide and seek." She carps. 

Harry rolls his eyes and helps her from under the sink, brushing her hair out of her face. "It's alright, Audrey. I'll play with you later, your siblings need some sleep." 

Adeline nods. "Yeah, Dessy, we got shots. You're lucky you weren't sick." 

Audrey opens her mouth in surprise, grabbing her sister's arm. "Really? I want to see." 

Harry smiles. "Why don't you guys go see that upstairs. Mommy has some work to do." He says, ushering them up toward the stairwell. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry lightly draws on his paper, biting on his lower lip in concentration. It's a fluffy boa paired with a suit; he's not sure where he's going with it, but it's just something he had in mind, a simple drabble. Since the horrendous events that took place earlier in the month (Louis' come), Louis bought him a new sketchbook, with improved pages. He of course will not forgive him easily because of the quality of the book, but he appreciates that Louis' trying. And anyway, their wedding anniversary is soon, he can't be mad forever. 

Continuing with his sketch, a round of knocks sound on the door and he calls. "It's open!" 

Niall enters and Harry raises an eyebrow. "Hey, Ni. What're you doing here?" 

"That's not a very warm greeting for a friend who's bearing gifts." Niall amusingly says. 

"What, do you have a big screen TV hiding in your back pocket?" 

Niall rolls his eyes. "No, but thank you for suggesting that could fit there."

Harry laughs as Niall finally reveals why he's there. "I do have a ticket to Love in the world.." All amusement is gone, and Harry's screaming in anticipation. 

"Estrella Van!" Niall presents the ticket in front of him and Harry celebrates, jumping excitedly. "Oh my god, Ni, this is unbelievable!" He exclaims as he takes the ticket, admiring the pastel pink paper.  Niall smiles at his friend. "We're going to have a night out. Keke, Florence, David, Taylor, and Melissa, are all coming. We're going to have drinks, appetizers, and then the main course; a plate of Estrella."

Harry grins widely and admires the ticket, but then it dims when he reads the date. "Oh, no," he mutters. "I can't go." 

"What do you mean you can't go?" Niall asks in disbelief. 

"Saturday's Louis and I's fifteenth wedding anniversary, Niall." Harry explains and places the ticket on the table like it's made of glass.

"Celebrate on Sunday." Niall shrugs. 

"Sunday's not our wedding anniversary." Harry replies, making an expression of obviousness. 

"I don't understand why you're still celebrating the shotgun wedding, anyway." Niall mutters. 

Harry rolls his eyes in amusement. "Okay, it may have not been the wedding of my dreams, but at least it was with the man of my dreams." He says sincerely. Niall pouts solemnly. "Do you actually think it's going to make a difference to Mr. Unbearable, whether you celebrate on Saturday or Sunday?" 

"Of course it will," Harry exasperates. "Our anniversary is very important to Louis, and I think he has something special planned." He grabs his sketchbook and smiles, gaiety as he walks to the kitchen. Niall follows him. "And what makes you think that?"

"Niall, my baby is romantic. Five years ago, he got us a pent house suite in the Ritz Club motel, the room was candlelit, Mai Tai on ice, and rose petals on the bed," Niall scrunches his nose as he continues. "Louis is sweet, sensitive, and loves me. I mean, he can't even walk in the room without giving me a kiss- here he comes."

Louis happens to enter the room at that moment, unaware that Harry was puckering his lips, awaiting a kiss. Niall stares at him with pursed lips, fighting back a laugh from the scene. When Louis turns around, he flinches aggressively at the sight of the blonde. "Don't start with me, peanut head." Niall warns. 

Harry scoffs and stands between them "Why can't you two just get along for one second?" 

"You know what, you're right. We do this every time we see each other. Can't we just, like, be friends?"

Niall raises an eyebrow. "Really?" 

"No." Louis deadpans, starting his way out the room. "Oh- before I forget, Harry, don't make any plans, Saturday." 

Harry smiles at Niall knowingly and averts his attention to Louis. "Do you have anything planned?" He asks suggestively. 

"Yeah, I'm going golfing, with Zayn. So, I need you here because Saturday night; it's on." 

"Really?" Harry wonders dreamily. 

"Yeah, Grease is on, and I need you here to record it, okay?" 

Louis leaves the room and Harry grimaces, crossing his arms over his chest. Niall laughs to himself, sarcastically speaking. "Recording a movie he's seen a thousand times, how romantic."

"No, no, cause I know, he's a clever man, see, I know what he's trying to do. He's trying to make me think that he forgot." Harry says in denial. 

Eileen pushes the door open forceably and it slams behind her. She then stomps to the fridge, grabbing an ice cream tub. "What's wrong with you?" Harry asks, puzzled. 

"I hate men." She spits, pulling the top off angrily. 

Harry frowns. "You shouldn't eat every time you get upset, love. That's really unhealthy, especially for the cheer team. Remember?" 

Eileen scoffs, rolling her eyes. "Whatever. Everyone thinks I'm only on the team 'cause I'm pretty, anyway." She mutters and shoves a spoonful in her mouth. Harry wants to say more, but she's already out of the room by the time he opens his mouth, so he backtracks. Now that she's gone again, Niall revives the conversation. "Are you sure you won't reconsider?" 

Harry groans. "I love Estrella, but I love Louis more."

Niall hums. "Well, the way that I see it, this marriage is forever, but Estrella is only one big night." He says as he waves the ticket encouragingly. Harry bites his nail longingly, tapping his foot needily, but he doesn't go after Niall as he leaves. 

Louis hasn't forgotten. 

At least, he hopes.  

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis practices for his golf game, aiming the stick to the ball. In the foyer, Harry speaks discretely with his son, pushing him desperately.  "Okay, June. Get in there and talk to your father." He whispers. Junior worries his eyebrows, groaning frustratingly. "Come on, Mom, you know I'll end up getting in trouble." 

"Do I have to remind you that I gave you life?" Harry narrows his eyes. 

"Yeah, but he can take it away from me." Junior says. 

Harry rolls his eyes and pushes him to the living room. Junior interrupts Louis just as he's going to hit the ball, messing up his play. "Hey, Dad, what're you up to?" Junior asks obliviously.

Louis smiles passively. "Nothing, I just gave away my Master's jacket." 

"By the way, what're your plans for the weekend?"

"I'm going to nunya." 

Junior raises an eyebrow. "Where's that?"

"None of your business," Louis answers immaturely. "what's your plans?" 

"I don't have any." 

Louis grins. "Great, let me make you some. What you can plan on is washing my car and cleaning the gutters this Saturday." 

"Oh- Dad, I just remembered, I have to read to some orphans." Junior lies terribly. Louis squeezes his shoulder. "Too late."

Junior treads out the room angrily. Harry stops in front of him hopefully. "What'd he say?" 

"He's playing golf and I'm washing his car, thanks a lot, Mom."

Later that night, he huffs in annoyance from hearing the clicking keys of Louis' computer. Not only is he annoyed by the sound, but also the fact that he's got a great lingerie set under his robe and Louis' going to be the one to miss it if he continues on that laptop. Harry sighs and stands above Louis, holding the front of his robe. "Lou, are you going to be on that computer all night, or are you going to come in bed with me?" He raises an eyebrow as he opens his robe, showing off the black corset that highlighted his breasts. 

Louis stares at them in interest, obviously wanting, but he stops. "What's going on here?"

The younger furrows his eyebrows and Louis tilts his head. "You didn't crash the car again, did you?" Harry scoffs at the accusation and moves his computer, replacing himself in his lap. "No, can't I just show you my appreciation?" He begins to grind his hips against Louis' crotch and the older man smiles. "That feels good." 

"Yeah?" Harry starts to kiss up his neck, nibbling on the skin of his jaw. "Feels like just yesterday we got together." He murmurs with very high intentions to remind Louis of their anniversary. 

Louis hums, and that's all he gets from him the entire night. 

Other than his dick, of course. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis lounges on the sofa in front of the television, scratching behind Clifford's fluffy ear. Harry strolls into the room with a tray of food, smiling bashfully. He sits down and places it on the coffee table, seeing Louis perk in interest. "Oh, what've you got here?" He asks. "Hot wings, hot potatoes.." 

"And peach cobbler." Harry adds proudly. 

Louis smiles in disbelief. "Baby, what did I do to deserve all this?"

"Nothing, just feeding my husband. That's all." Harry answers slyly. 

Louis continues to praise him, but then he squints his eyes. "Wait a minute, why're you being so nice to me?" 

"What're you talking about? I'm always nice." Harry says. 

"No, you're so obvious. You don't have to go through all of this to get me to remember." Louis softly says. 

Oh my god, Harry thought. He's finally got it. 

"Really?" 

Louis nods his head insistently. "Yes, when I say I'm going to mow the lawn, I'm going to mow the lawn." 

And then it's gone. Harry glares him and grumbles to himself, having the convenient urge to snatch the food away. Before he can even think about choking Louis, Junior comes down the stairs with his hundredth complaint of the day. "Mom, Dad, Eileen's driving me crazy and I can't take it anymore." 

"Not now, June." Harry mutters. 

"Eileen broke up with Evan." 

Harry's mouth falls open and Louis brings his hands together. "Thank god." He remarks exasperatedly. Harry narrows his eyes, only fueling his annoyance. Junior continues. "But now she's playing the same sad love song over and over again. I can't concentrate on my homework."

"Oh you have to concentrate to bring home two D's and an F?" Louis jests. 

Junior retaliates dumbly. "What about the two C's, huh? See, he never remembers the good stuff." He says, more directed to Harry. He gazes at the tray full of food and reaches for them, only for Louis to threaten to bite him. Junior pulls his arm away quickly, staring at his father in concern. Harry rolls his eyes at the scene. Being in a roomful of the same person is exhausting, he desperately needs to escape. With a sigh, he stands up. "Come on, Louis, we have to talk to Eileen."

"We? I thought this was one of those Mother daughter-estrogenic type moments." Louis says. 

Harry glares. "No, I think you will be a lot of help. Now, come on."

The couple make their way upstairs to Eileen's room and outside the door they can hear Whitney Houston, Eileen's groggy voice singing over her. Harry shares a look with Louis before pushing it open, her singing becoming louder. Her eyes are shut and she's lying horizontally on the bed, sobbing as she belts out the words. Drastically enough, Louis starts to dance to the music until Harry makes a motion with his hand to stop. 

Louis dances as he heads to the speaker and shuts it off, Eileen's face morphing from despair to confusion. Harry takes a seat at her desk and sighs. "Baby, we are so sorry. We just heard about your break up." He says sincerely. 

Eileen narrows her eyes, clutching the bag of m&m's in her hands. "Where did you hear, on Eileen can't keep a man .com?" She grabs an m&m. "I'm never coming out this room again." 

Louis takes the bag from her. "If you keep on eating these m&m's, you're not going to be able to fit out your door." He quips. Eileen hides her face in the sleeve of her robe and Louis sighs. Although he didn't like Evan, this is his daughter, and her dejection matters. He takes a seat on the bed and Harry follows. "Tell us what  happened." 

"Evan's cheating on me." She says. 

"I knew it! I could tell by his eyes." Louis says in delusion. 

"Ameia goes to the one basketball game I miss. She said there was a beautiful girl there, cheering every time he made a basket." 

Harry sighs. "That's it, that means he cheated?" 

Eileen shakes her head. "At the end of the game, Ameia asked her why she was cheering for him, and she said because Evan is her sweetie pie." 

Louis makes a noise of disapproval, and it's clear he's unserious. 

Harry glares at him and focuses his attention back on his daughter. "Did you talk to Evan about this? Did you give him a chance to explain?"

"No, I told him it was over and I hung up." Eileen answers, staring down at her hands. 

Louis nods approvingly, pouring some candy on his palm. "Here goes five m&m's for the courage." 

Harry scowls. "You know, you're really not helping. Baby, you've got to communicate with Evan. That's the secret to any good relationship. How do you think your father and I have held on for so long?" He asks earnestly. 

"Unplanned pregnancies?" Louis replies, earning a punch to his crotch in return. He groans and stares at Harry incredulously. "You asked for my point of view, I'm giving you my point of view." Harry lightly pushes him away. "Go point your view back at the television, bye-bye, Louis." 

Harry adjusts his cardigan, rounding Eileen's bed. "Eileen, honey, you cannot run around angry at somebody and they don't even know why. That's childish. Relationships are built on honesty and trust." He tells her. 

"Okay, mom." Eileen whispers. 

Harry combs his fingers through her hair gingerly, tilting his head. "Now I need you to do me a favor. Go downstairs and spy on your father for me." 

After fighting the twins to take a bath and washing off any remaining germs on them, Harry sits on the arm of the couch while speaking on the phone. "Niall, I'm telling you, he's going to come through. I have faith in Louis. Yeah- look, if you want to give the ticket away, just do it, okay?" He hears the door shut and turns his head in the direction, Louis walking into the house with his hands hiding something. 

"Where are you going so fast?" Harry questions as he heads to the stairs. 

"To the bathroom." Louis discretely answers. 

"What've you got in your hands?" 

"I told you I'm going to the bathroom." Louis repeats, marching up the steps. 

When he's gone, Harry squeals, announcing to the phone. "I told you Louis was going to come through. I just caught a glimpse of a Tiffany's box in his hands. Yes! No, he ran upstairs so he could hide it, so he could surprise me. I'll call you back when I find it, bye!" He puts the phone down and rushes up the stairs. He knows being nosey during an anniversary is a terrible idea, but he can't help it! Louis' obviously got something going on if he's deliberately pretending that he doesn't remember their fifteenth wedding anniversary. It's obviously going to be big. 

Cautiously, Harry shuts the door and skids to the couch, checking if the bathroom light is on. After ensuring so, he quickly grabs Louis' jacket, checking his pockets and careful to not make a noise. He finds nothing in the jacket or dresser, but then he gets the smart idea to check under the mattress, so he swiftly skids to the other side of the room, pulling up the mattress. With only a second into looking, Louis pushes open the door and he falls onto the bed. 

Louis raises an eyebrow, pulling his toothbrush out his mouth. "Hey, baby. What're you doing up here?"

"Just relaxing." Harry dumbly responds, propping himself on his elbows. 

Louis hums, smirking. "You sure look cute relaxing."

Harry smiles, laughing nervously. His husband walks back into the bathroom and he rolls his eyes, crawling onto the floor to look under the bed. Louis opens the door again and Harry does the quickest thing possible, push ups. 

"What're you doing now?" Louis questions amusingly. 

"Push ups." Harry says, struggling to go down. 

"But I thought you were relaxing?" 

"No, I got tired of relaxing." 

"I hope you know how to do it, you have to go all the way down." Louis places his foot on Harry's back and he collapses, quickly pulling himself together. "There you go." Harry continues his push ups until he hears the door click and he scrambles to his feet, albeit he's out of breath. He slides the closet door open and flinches when it makes noise, briskly checking to see if Louis' there. Harry checks through the hanging clothes and then grabs the stool to help him reach to the top, but as he tries to pull the clothes stuck to the shelf, he falls down and brings the stool and heaps of clothing with him. 

"What's going on here?" Louis questions. 

"I'm cleaning out the closet." Harry says, folding clothes despite the curls in front of his eyes. 

"With what, a bomb? Did you fall? I heard a noise."

"No, I'm fine." Harry answers, smiling unconvincingly. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Mhm." He has that high-pitched voice that indicates he's lying, but Harry refuses to make himself aware, because if he does; it'll only get worse. Louis nods his head and sits on the bed, behind where Harry's sitting on the floor. "Then can you make me a sandwich? I'm starving."

Harry sighs and looks at the mess he made. "Okay, Louis." He murmurs. He stands and heads to the door, but Louis stops him. 

"I forgot to give you something." The older man mentions. 

Harry's eyes widen. "You did?"

"Mm. Now close your eyes." The curly haired man shuts them and starts to jump in his spot from excitement, holding his hand out. Louis cups his cheeks and presses their lips together shortly, and all Harry's excitement disappears that instant. "Sugar!" Louis exclaims. 

Harry smiles stiffly. "Yeah, thanks."

When he's gone, Louis laughs to himself, sitting on the bed with the Tiffany's box in his hand. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

"Now's a good time, he's eating, like a gazelle at a water hole," Harry tells Eileen ⎼ discretely watching Louis from the living room. "except I want to kill him." Eileen stares at her Mom like he's gone crazy, but ignores it all to answer. "Mom, you're going to get me in trouble. He already grounded Junior." 

"Your Dad's not going to punish you, you're his favorite." Harry says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Eileen sighs and leisurely approaches her father, casually sitting beside him. "Hi, Dad." 

"Hey, sweetie. What's going on?"

"Nothing. What's going on with you?" 

Louis shakes his head, flipping through the pages of his sports column. "Nothing." Eileen starts to incessantly giggles until Louis asks her what's wrong, looking at her like she's crazy. "Oh, nothing. It was just this episode of the Flinstones where Fred forgot their anniversary. Wilma hit him in the head with this big Brontosaurus bone." She says. 

Louis chuckles, biting into his toast. "Did you see that one?" Eileen questions. 

"No. Oh, but I did see the one where Fred had this evil twin and he was running around saying yabadabadoo." He repeats the phrase until Eileen gets annoyed. "Dad, shut up." 

"Shut up? This is the second time today you've told me to shut up, you know what, you're grounded Saturday." 

Eileen gasps. "I'm grounded? That's not fair! Why am I grounded?"

Louis takes a sip of his beer and smacks his lips. "This is one of those great moments in parenting. Okay, now, I want you to look at my face and see how happy I am as I respond to your answer," he says. "I want you to look into this eye in particular as I go. Ask again." 

Eileen rolls her eyes. "Why am I grounded?"

"Because.. I said so." He grins menacingly and points to his left eye. "You see how it rolls up like that?" He enthuses. Eileen scoffs and abruptly stands from her chair, fleeting away. Harry stops her before she can make it to the stairs, grabbing her shoulders. "What'd he say?" 

"He said that I'm grounded Saturday, thanks to you!"

Harry huffs and watches her leave, but he still refuses to give up. So, he goes to his last resort. Adeline. Now, no one has favorites, but Adeline can be a very convincing girl. Plus, she's a copy of Harry; Louis would have no other choice but to answer the five year old. As long as she does exactly what he says. 

Harry brushes Adeline's hair back into the ponytail she asked for, slicking it back with gel. "So, you know Saturday's a special day for Daddy and I, right?"

"I know." Adeline replies. 

Harry pauses, smiling expectantly. "You know? What do you know?"

"Daddy told me some stuff." He stops abruptly and pulls her onto his lap, insisting on answers. 

"Well, he said he's going to have to call his friends." Adeline says.

Harry gasps loudly, standing up. "I'm going to have a party! What else?!" 

"He got a driver." 

Harry places a hand on his chest in shock, his eyes widening. "I'm going to get a limo, too? What else?!"

"They said he's going to have to stick it in the same old bag." 

Harry's smile dims and he scoffs. "He means he's playing golf." He sighs and grabs Adeline's face, speaking to her intently.  "Listen to me, I need you to go downstairs and talk to your father and see what he's planning on Saturday evening. Okay?" 

Adeline nods determinedly and begins to walk until Harry calls her back. "Be inconspicuous."  

"Alright." She agrees. She trudges down the stairs and into the garage where Louis' fixing something. Taking her final steps, she places her hands on her hips and recites everything Harry told her. "Daddy, mommy wants to know what you're planning for Saturday evening." 

"Golf." Louis shortly answers. 

"What about Saturday night?"

Louis squints his eyes thoughtfully, pondering. "Oh, the fight is on Saturday night."

She frowns. "Okay. What's incospous?" 

"Inconspicuous? Everything you're not." Louis replies. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

"A fight tomorrow night?" Harry double checks his daughter in utter disbelief. Adeline nods in confirmation. "That's what he said."

"Oh, there's going to be a fight, alright." He carefully takes her off his lap so he could let out his anger on dinner, pulling open the knives drawer with unnecessary force. He grabs the carrot he left on the counter and starts chopping it before shouting. Eileen screams too, shoving more ice cream into her mouth. She furrows her eyebrows. "What're you mad at?"

"Same thing as you, men."

"What happened?"

Harry sighs heavily, slamming his knife down. "I can't believe your father would forget our wedding anniversary after all these years."

Eileen raises an eyebrow. "Did you ask him if he forgot?"

"No." Harry replies in a deliberate tone, rolling his eyes.

"Why don't you just talk to him?"

Harry scowls. "I'm not going to talk to him."

"I thought communication was key to a good relationship?" Eileen repeats, stepping down the ramp to the kitchen. Harry stares at her hypocritically. "And did you listen?"

She twists her face, answering like it was obvious. "No."

Harry props a hand on his hip. "How're you going to tell me to listen to some advice that you didn't even listen to?"

"But mom, it's your advice-"

"No, no, that was my advice to you," Harry says and sits across from her. "this is different."

"It is not different. You should just tell him."

Harry sighs. "You know what, Eileen, you have a lot to learn about relationships. The whole point of an anniversary is that the husband is supposed to remember the day that his spouse trapped him, and celebrate it." He absurdly says. Harry thinks back to their wedding, and now, instead of mad, he's sad - so he takes Eileen's ice cream tub and starts eating himself away.

Dinner comes around and Louis enters the dining room with a smile, seeing the large serving of food. "I just worked out and I'm Starving like Marvin' right now." He says, referring to the steak. Harry chuckles maliciously as Louis takes a seat beside him, crossing his arms on the table. "Where's mine?"

"We ran out." Harry happily replies.

Louis blinks, grinning in confusion. "Well, are we going to run out and get some more?" When Harry makes no sign of moving, he frowns. "What am I going to eat?" Harry rolls his eyes and takes the can he left out purposefully, slamming it down on Louis' plate until the food revealed itself.

"Spam?" Louis speaks in disbelief.

"Mhm. Yummy, isn't it?" Harry says venomously, cutting through his steak.

"Come on, this is not even real meat." Louis gazes at Adeline, who's eating her steak innocently. He hums, imitating a hungry groan and Adeline narrows her eyes. "Don't even think about it." Louis sighs and glances at Junior, who smiles. "Your eyes may twinkle, and your teeth might grit, but none of this steak; you're gonna get."

Louis smiles. "Yeah, well, your stomach may rumble and you may throw a fit, but if I want it, I'll take it, cause I paid for it." He leans back in his chair. "I guess I'll double up on some vegetables. Baby, can you get me some vegetables, please?"

Harry drops his fork. "What am I, your maid, Louis? Go get it yourself."

"What's wrong with you? Isn't me eating, important to you?"

Harry shrugs, smiling bashfully. "You know what, I guess I just forgot."

"You forgot? Come on, how could you forget your husband?"

"Sometimes you just forget your husband." He sneers. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis' on his computer at the coffee table with Junior, tapping the keys furiously. "Two minutes left to bid on these gloves." He murmurs. Junior cocks his head to the screen. "Well, you better make another bid because somebody named.. SexyMama just outbid you." 

Louis sighs. "Damn, I really wanted those gloves. I wanted to wear them while I watched the game Saturday night." 

"Just bid another thousand, Dad, what's the big deal?" Junior asks. 

Louis furrows his eyebrows, shocked. "The big deal is I work hard for my money. How long would it take you to make $1,000?" 

Junior contemplates. "1,000? I get twenty dollars a week in allowance, times six weeks a month... about thirty five years?"

Louis presses his lips together and pats Junior's knee. "I'll just take it out your college funds. You won't need any of that." He sarcastically remarks. Junior shrugs, squinting his eyes at the computer screen. "Why do you want all these boxing gloves, anyway?" 

"Because the history, Junior." Louis answers. 

"That isn't history, there's never nothing new. It's stuff that's been already happen."

Louis' eyebrows draw together at his son's broken English, staring at him like he's the stupidest person in the world. "Ain't that be something." He comically replies. He rolls his eyes and refocuses on the computer, rolling his sleeves up to try again. "Well, SexyMama, let's see you beat this." He mutters. He hits the keys frenziedly, anxious to win the bid.. "Ugh!"

"Good try, Dad. Does this mean I still have to go to college?"

"Yeah, I want you to go to one of those two year colleges. You know, thirty months."

The next day, Harry's in a slightly better mood when Niall comes to visit. He pours them separate cups of iced tea from the pitcher, telling him about the gift he got Louis. "So, I got him the Muhammad Ali boxing gloves. I had to order it online, I had to outbid some jerk named Dilftastic." He approaches the table and places the glass on the table. Niall takes his cup, curling his lips. "So what are you going to do with him when he forgets your anniversary?"

"I'm still going to give it to him. My fists are just going to be in them at that time." Harry says. Niall laughs lightly, leaning on the table with his arms folded. "But are you going to confront him?"

 Harry exhales deeply, starting to smirk. "You know, I came close to it last night because he was getting on my nerves. But I backed off because I remembered that little blue box. And we all know what those little blue boxes mean." 

"Diamonds." They say simultaneously. 

Louis comes into the dining room, pressing a kiss to Harry's temple. "If it isn't the gold and leprechaun." Harry rolls his eyes at the horrible joke, elbowing him lightly. "You promised you would be nice." He reminds glaringly. Louis sighs. "You're right. Anyway, stay out the garage because I'm working on a little project out there, okay?" 

"Oh, okay." He says in faux innocence. 

"Alright. I love you." 

"I love you, too, bye." He calls, watching Louis exit through the front door. When he hears the door shut he stands abruptly from the table, shrieking. "See, Ni, he probably hid my present in the garage!" 

Niall purses his lips, flipping through a magazine. "Okay, how long do we wait?"

Harry frowns. "Come on now, I'm not going to go out there. He asked me not to go out into that garage and I am not the kind of ma- come on, Niall, let's go." The duo quickly stand from the table and scurry to the door. Harry pushes the door open and looks around the spacious garage, trying to scout something out in plain sight. "Do you see anything unusual?" Niall asks. 

"No, everything's looks same." Harry pouts in disappointment. He hears something squish and glances down. "Uh oh." He lifts his foot to find the substance dripping off his shoe. "He painted the floor." 

Niall huffs, noticing their footprints. "Well, that's a lousy present." 

Harry rolls his eyes. "It's not a present, Niall. It's to keep us away from the present. We're already in here, what's the one place Louis would think we would never look." He averts his gaze to the toolbox and glances at Niall to see if the man was thinking the same thing. They approach in funny steps with the paint on their shoes, pulling the toolbox open. Harry beams when he finds the blue box, holding it out to Niall. 

"Open it!"

Harry sighs airily. "You know what, I don't know if I want to spoil my surprise." He trails off. 

"Just do the surprise look, like I do." Niall takes the box and emits noises⎼ almost like moans. "It works on men, too." Harry snatches the box back, narrowing his eyes. "Give me that." He pulls the top off and his mouth falls ajar in disbelief. "Oh my god, a bag of golf tees? I can't believe this!" 

Niall twists his lips. "You sure do pick out the right husbands." 

Harry scowls. "Not now, Niall. I can't even count how many times I've wanted to choke this man in the past month."

Instead of sulking the rest of the day away, Niall insists on taking him out to drink a little and rant, noticing that this was taking a toll on the younger man's temper. The duo get a table at a restaurant, mixing their margaritas together. "You would think that I would get some kind of appreciation for being the mother of his twelve children." Harry quietly raves. 

"That's right. You just ruined your figure for nothing." 

"I did, didn't I?! I just can't believe that this is what I get, after everything I've done for him." 

Niall points his glass towards him. "That's the problem. You've done too much for him. All that Suzy Homemaker crap makes a man take you for granted. Then they start wiping their feet on you like a dirty doormat, locking you out their bedroom, calling the police every time you drive by their house with the lights on." Harry's eyebrows furrow in confusion, beginning to think Niall's talking about himself, now. 

Harry shakes his head. "I guess I've just been stupid, huh?" 

"You've been a damn fool." 

"You know what, I have. And what makes matters worse is that I spent a small fortune just to surprise him with these." Harry says, showcasing the gloves. 

Niall gasps, looking down at them. "Oh, these are the gloves?"

"Yeah, they came today. Ali signed them himself." He replies, tracing the signature with his finger. 

"Oh, your husband certainly doesn't deserve these. Now, let me tell you this, if it was me, I would go home and give peanut head a piece of my mind." 

Harry nods his head with him, his eyes twinkling. "You know what, you're right. That's my husband, I'm going to handle that right now." He narrates as he stands up, collecting his things into his purse. Niall furrows his eyebrows and holds onto the table. "Wait a minute, where're you going?" 

"To give peanut head a piece of my mind." Harry repeats. 

Right when the door swings open, Harry begins his rant. "Louis William Tomlinson,"

"Oh, hi, baby." Louis greets from inside the kitchen, waving like some innocent child. 

He's anything but.

"Don't you 'hi baby' me, you thoughtless, selfish, inconsiderate excuse of a man!" Louis glances down at his hands and notices the boxing gloves on them and starts to walk the opposite way of where Harry was walking, beginning an incessant round around the counter. "Don't you run away from me. After everything I've done for you, this is the thanks that I get?"

Louis squints his eyes. "Have you been drinking?" 

"Yeah, I had a drink or four! But I can hold my liquor, Louis. Just like I held those twelve babies in my belly for nine months, two c-sections, just for Junior's head alone!" 

Louis stares at him softly. "And I do, baby." 

"And I do?" Harry looks at Niall. "He said- I gotta get him." He fights to get around the counter without Louis going the opposite way of him until he finally stands in front of him, threatening the glove in front of his face. "Let me tell you what you did, Louis. You forgot what today is! The most important day of our lives, and you went to go play golf!" He shouts, starting to punch Louis' chest and arms⎼ not really doing enough to hurt him. 

"So what you're trying to say is that a thoughtless, selfish, inconsiderate excuse of a man like me would ask you to renew our wedding vows, you'd probably say no."

Harry scoffs. "Hell no, I'll be damned if I make the same mistake twice!"

Louis says softly, starting to kneel in front of him. "Even if I got down on one knee like this here and told you that these last fifteen years- minus the last ten minutes, have been the most wonderful, incredible years of my life, you'll say no?" Harry's expression demulcents, his eyes softening and lips pouting. "Then I would consider it." He replies

"If I took your hand like this, and I look you into the eyes and say that I love you more than life itself, you'd still say no?" Louis takes his hand and strokes his knuckle gently, staring at him like- because he is his world.

"You took the words out my mouth, Louis." He whispers. 

Louis moistens his lips and replies. "Harry, we kind of rushed it the first time. Remember, we were down the city hall and you were pregnant with Eileen? Your Dad had that shotgun to my back. I want to do it right."

Harry slips his bottom lip beneath his teeth, his chest rising expeditiously; anticipating Louis' next words. "Harry Edward, will you marry me tonight, for our anniversary?"

"Yes," Harry breathes. "Yes, baby. But I don't have anything to wear."

"Of course you do. I took care of everything, just like one of those De Beers commercials." Louis says, repeating what Harry had complained to Niall about. Harry sighs and cradles his jaw, pressing their lips together tenderly. He turns to Niall, wrapping his arms around Louis' neck. "You see, I told you he's romantic." 

"So, he did good for once," Niall waves off and gently grabs his bicep. "Let's go get you dressed!"

Harry squeals and accepts Niall's hand, throwing Louis a smile over his shoulder. 

And like Louis had said, Harry relives his wedding night. Tonight, he's repainting his wedding fifteen years ago with a new one, one where he's immensely in love. Where his twelve children attend, where he can wear the gown of his dreams- the one he looked at all those years ago but was unable to wear because they didn't have time. But this time, he's peacefully prepared and pampered, laughing in excitement in their bedroom. 

Zayn styles his curls into little ringlets, leaving two front pieces and the rest down his neck. There's a flower crown on top of his head that illustrates the veil he'll wear. "How do you feel?" 

"Like I could die." Harry answers, digging his teeth into his bottom lip. "God, is this how you felt when you married Liam?" 

"Sure did." 

Harry sighs as Keke hands him the bouquet of peonies. "I think I'll cry." He says, his voice starting to tremble. The woman twists her lips, checking the corner of his eyes with her thumb. "Please don't, you'll mess up your mascara." 

There's a lot of things they missed when Harry first got pregnant, but those things are able to be experienced with their completed life. Where Harry can be walked down the isle by Junior, again, the triplets as their flower people, and the rest as bridesmaids. 

And to the unexpected, Estrella Van, singing Just one look as he walks down the isle. 

"Tell me that is not Estrella Van." Harry hisses to Junior, staring with wide eyes. 

"That's not Estrella Van."

"Yes it is, Junior!" 

Junior furrows his eyebrows. "So why did you just tell me-"

"Shut up and get me to the alter." Harry interrupts. Junior thins his lips and continues walking, passing by their seated family and friends. 

It all feels serene the moment Harry's standing in front of his husband, staring into the very blue eyes he's blessed to see every morning he wakes up. 

"We're joining together among family and friends to rejoin Louis and Harry in holy matrimony. Louis, would you like to say something to your bride?" The priest says. 

"Yes," Louis digs into his suit pocket and takes out his paper, unfolding it. "I take you, Harry, to be my wedded husband. I promise to continue to love, cherish, and honor you. To keep and comfort you, in sickness and health, for richer, for poorer, until death do us part," He recites. "and on a personal note I'd like to say that sex with this man has been amazing." 

Harry gasps at his absurdity, lightly slapping his shoulder. 

"And Harry?" The priest questions. 

"Oh, I didn't prepare anything-"

Louis curls his lips. "Don't worry, I took care of everything." He says as he hands Harry a paper. Harry smiles in amusement as he briefly skims the paper. "Boy, am I a lucky man," he loudly reads. "a very, very, very lucky man. I mean look at him; handsome, dashing, it goes on to say, also on a personal note, sex with this man has been fabulous." 

Louis laughs. "Okay, turn it over."

Harry obliges, his heart heavy in his chest. "I take you, Louis, to be my wedded husband. I promise to continue to love, cherish, and honor you. To keep and comfort you, in sickness and health, for richer, for poorer, until death do us part." 

Junior hands him the rings and Louis takes it, gently grabbing Harry's hand. "I give you in token and pledge of our constant faith, and abiding love. With this really, really expensive ring." Harry giggles and slaps his hand in warning. In maudlinism, Harry repeats him and they slide the diamond ring down their finger, beside the one from their first wedding. 

"With the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss the bride."

With nothing but love and devotion, their lips seal together, pronouncing their marriage.

And in the end, many things were resolved. Harry's doubts that Louis had forgotten their anniversary was replaced with the new profound memory of their wedding, the way he dreamed. Evan turned out to not have cheated on Eileen, it was his cousin. Therefore that concludes the last chapter of the week, with the family's couples happily in love, and new beginnings for the Tomlinsons. 

Chapter Text

Harry sprinkles seasoning onto the potatoes in his cooking bowl, while Junior sat across the counter, working on his calculus homework. The teenager's been having to be more disciplined than the littles, due to how bad he's been doing in school. With a head as big as his, you'd think that he'd be smart, but it seems all that space in his head is just hallow. Junior sighs loudly and drops his pencil on the counter, throwing his hands up. "I give up." 

Harry frowns, placing the seasoned salt down. "Don't say that, June. It's just some calculations, right?" 

"Mom, think seriously. When am I ever going to have to do this in the real world?"

The older man shrugs. "On a random day, someone could come up and offer a million dollars if you can figure out a problem." He scenarizes. Junior rolls his eyes. "Serious, mother. I'm very serious, I just think that it's dumb that we have to learn all this, just to never use it again and likely forget. I bet you, you can't even solve this problem." 

Harry purses his lips. "I was never good at math, anyway." 

"It's a waste of time." Junior finalizes. 

"It may be wasteful to you, but it surely isn't for me. I don't care if you fail the paper, but you're going to finish it." Harry tells him. He returns to dinner, and as he's putting the potatoes in the air fryer, Louis walks through the door. 

"Hello, family." He exclaims. 

Harry smiles softly. "Hey, baby." 

"Guess what I've got." Louis says, wanting all the suspense, and Harry being the good husband he is, plays with it. "What?"

His husband smiles, digging into the brown bag in his hands. "I already got the gloves that I heavily appreciate, but I also got another pair specifically for use, because I am going to start boxing!" Louis explains enthusiastically. Harry grins widely. "Oh, that's great! When's the last time you've boxed?" 

"Exactly! I think I've already freshened up a little. Last time was like.. when we first moved in." 

Harry's eyebrows raise. "Almost nine years ago," he comments. "oh, I wanna try!" 

Louis happily obliges, putting the gloves on Harry's hands. He smiles like it's the most amazing thing in the world and starts to imitate punches to Louis' palms like he's practicing. Of course, he has to get too excited, and somehow redirect his glove to his face, punching himself in the eye. "Ow, I hit myself in the eye!"

Louis bites his lip so he doesn't laugh and directs him to the couch. "I can't believe I just did that, I feel like such an idiot." He whines. 

Louis chuckles a little. "Don't beat yourself up."

Harry scoffs, although he's smiling and holds his eye, feeling it throb. "Come on, I'll kiss it better." Louis offers, only making him hurt more. Harry grumbles and pushes his head away. "I'll get you an ice pack." Louis says. The younger husband hums, standing up. "I'll come with you."

Someone knocks on the door and Eileen comes running towards it, expecting Evan. She greets him at the doorway and Audrey looks up from her drawing. "You just missed it, Mommy got a black eye." 

Evan looks from Louis to Harry, completely getting the wrong idea. He approaches Harry, who's sitting at the dining table and places a hand on his shoulder, genuinely concerned. "Oh my gosh, Mr. Tomlinson, would you like me to take you to a shelter?"

Harry shakes his head. "No, Evan, it was just an accident."

"Denial is the first stage in the pattern of abuse." Evan says. 

Harry laughs, holding the ice pack to his eye. "Evan, I said I did it myself, okay?"

"The victim always blames themselves-" 

"Evan," Louis interrupts. "I did not hit my husband." 

Evan stares at him skeptically before muttering to Harry. "You'll be in my prayers." Louis turns his head to Junior. "I can't believe this kid, he's like a religious idiot." Junior laughs around his banana. "For once I'm not the dumbest guy in the room." 

Evan raises an eyebrow. "Yes you are."

"You just proved me right, because it's yes you is."

Harry sighs and stands from the table, grabbing Audrey's hand. "I'll just put some sunglasses on. Come on, Audrey, it's time for tumble tots." 

Eileen faces Evan. "I'll be right back, I just have to get my books." She tells him. 

"Alright, I'll miss you." 

"I'll miss you, too." 

"I'll miss you more."

"No, I'll miss you more."

Louis groans exaggeratedly. "Will you go get the damn books, please."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The triplets started kindergarten just two months ago, and now they're having their first play of the school year. Harry always participates in the children's events, but recently, they held volunteers for the play and Harry was given the opportunity to direct it. Great, right? He also remembered that Louis had previously mentioned his want to be more involved with the kids' school life, so what was better than to have him as his assistant? A wonderful, loving couple directing a Kindergarten play, what could go wrong? 

Well, other than Harry's unnecessary competitiveness. 

"Alright, I've selected for us, Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet." Harry announces to the children.

"Miss Jenner doesn't make us do Romeo and Jiblits." A small boy mentions. 

Harry smiles sarcastically. "Well, I don't see a Miss Jenner here, do you see a Miss Jenner here?" He mocks. 

Ah, yes, and his unexplainable hate towards one of the kindergarten teachers, Miss Jenner. Louis doesn't know what encouraged it, but Harry for some reason hates the woman and refuses to do Hansel and Gretel, the play she did last year. 

"Who's Shakespeare?" Another boy asks. 

Harry crouches down to his level. "You don't know about Shakespeare?" 

Louis has to refrain himself for pointing out the obvious, instead grimacing when the boy sneezed in Harry's face. This is exactly why he hates working with children, besides his own. 

Miss Jenner walks into the auditorium somewhere in between, annoying Harry immensely with her presence and stupid skin-walking face. "Hey, Mr. Tomlinson. You don't mind if I observe, do you?"

Harry laughs, but changes his expression just as quick. "I certainly do." He turns back to the kids and shouts. "Alright children, I want you to go outside and run a lap around the football field." 

Kendall draws her eyebrows together, speaking in a soft tone. "Mr. Tomlinson, don't you think you're pushing these kids a little too hard? Making them too competitive?"

"Miss Jenner, pardon me, but I don't try to tell you how to teach Kindergarten, now do I?"  

"Yes you do." Kendall says. 

Harry spins around. "Well those are only suggestions. Plus, have you seen your Hansel and Gretel? If I were you, I wouldn't be giving any advice on directing, okay?" 

"You know, it's funny that you say that about a play that received a standing ovation." Kendall argues. 

Harry rolls his eyes. "They were standing to leave."

"For five minutes?" 

"It was a dumb crowd." 

Kendall crosses her arms over her chest. "I saw you there," Harry glares at her and she continues. "Good luck teaching these kids Shakespeare, they already have a hard time learning the alphabet."

"You know, I think that says a little bit more about your teaching, than my directing." Harry retaliates. 

"You call making them run laps, directing?"

Louis happens to come back into the auditorium at that moment and jogs over. "Hey, look, I think that maybe you are pushing the kids a little too hard. Miss Jenner is right."

Kendall raises her eyebrows mockingly and Harry scoffs. "What, you're taking sides now?"

"No, I'm-" 

"What, you're Miss Jenner's man, now?" Louis tries to speak again but Harry interrupts. "What, you're Mister Jenner? You're going to go home with Miss Jenner?"

"All I'm saying is that this sensational drive to win is what's tearing apart our society." Kendall says.

Harry swears he feels his eye physically twitch at Kendall's words. "Come on, let's take it outside." He loudly says and Louis grabs him, trying to stop him from the door. 

"I don't usually look for a fight." Kendall comments as she clips her earrings off. 

"Well, you found one." Harry responds. 

Louis feels like he's in the middle of separating children. He interferes exasperatedly, blocking Harry's view. "Woah, okay, you calm down," he tells his husband before turning to Kendall. "And you, put your earring back on."

"What did I say?" Harry jeers. 

"Do you really want to fight the triplets' Kindergarten teacher?" Louis asks seriously. 

Harry squints his eyes. "I'm going to let my play do the talking." Louis agrees and urges him toward the door, apologizing to Kendall. 

"It's okay, I'm used to dealing with children."

Harry spins back around and Louis grabs him again, easing him. "Do you see a child, Louis? You better not see a child, Mr. Jenner."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Eileen stomps into the dining room where Junior is eating dinner with Faith, placing her hands on her hips silently as she glares at him. Junior looks up slowly. "What's up?" 

"Don't what's up me, you big headed moron, boulder-head." Eileen demeans angrily. When Junior stares at her like she's the problem, she scoffs. "Look at what you did to my shirt, dufus. It's got oil stains all over it!" She complains. 

Junior glances at it and he smiles. "Oh, it's not oil. It's brake fluid." He corrects, placing a green bean in his mouth. Eileen squints her eyes at him. "How dare you take something of mine and use it to clean that stupid, broken down car of yours."

"Well, your shirt was on the bathroom floor." Junior reasons. 

"Dummy, I put everything on the bathroom floor, then Mom comes, picks it up, and cleans it!"

"That is how it works." Faith agrees. 

Eileen points her finger at her. "You shut up," she returns her attention to Junior. "I don't want you ever touching my stuff, ever, ever, ever. You got that, Chromedome?" 

"Yeah? Well, you leave my stuff alone, too." Junior says. 

"I never touch your stuff." Eileen replies. 

"Oh, really?" Junior questions as he stands up, unzipping his jacket. "What's this, huh? You bedazzled my soccer jersey!" He reveals his shirt with sparkly diamonds and butterflies on it and Eileen laughs. "I thought you were done with that. Didn't they throw you off the team?" 

"No, but thanks to you, I will." Junior accuses. Faith notices how close they're getting and steps between them. "Hey, wait, listen to my happy song! Hey little critter, hey little critter, hey little critter!" She sings, trying to diffuse the situation. 

Eileen stares at her in confusion before yelling. "I hate you!"

"I hate you more!"

"You smell!" Eileen retorts. 

"I don't care, that's my man scent!" 

The parents return home to hear their argument, that became increasingly louder the more Faith sang. Harry purses his lips at the lovely greeting, and pushes Louis forward. "Go deal with your children." He tells him. 

"Oh, they're my children, now?" 

Harry shrugs. "They're your sperm." 

Louis sighs and enters fully into the house, interrupting them. "Everybody shut up." 

"You want to hear what she did?!" Junior exclaims. 

"I don't want to hear what anyone did. Since you guys can't seem to find anything you like about each other, I'm going to help you out." Louis says. 

"I'm going to get my own apartment?" Junior asks. 

His father rolls his eyes. "No, but what you are going to sit at this table, and you guys are going to stare at each other until you find out three things you like, and write them down."

Eileen responds stubbornly. "We could stand here forever."

"Great, to speed things up, Faith will stand here and sing nonstop, The Little Critter song, until you guys find something you like about each other. Take it away, Faith." Louis smiles at the expressions of disbelief on the teenagers' faces as Faith begins to sing. He walks into the living room, where Harry's polishing the baby picture on the coffee table. Harry only ever dusts off things when he's stressed, and Louis already knows it's about the play. "Alright, what happened?" He asks exasperatedly. 

"What?" 

"What happened to you? Something terrible happened in your past, that turned you into how you were today." Louis summarizes. Harry turns away, shaking his head. "I don't want to talk about it." The older man grabs him by the arm and guides him to the sofa. "No, I'm lover and you must unburden yourself." 

Harry sighs in defeat, pouting his lip. "In the second grade, the class put on Goldilocks and the Three bears. I memorized every line, Louis. I knew it, I had it down bad."

"You became Goldilocks." Louis comments, nodding his head. 

"You're damn right I did. And the day of the auditions, the teacher asked me what I was auditioning for, and I said, "Goldilocks!" and she looked at me and she laughed at me. She laughed at me and said "Here's a mustache, you're auditioning for Papa bear," and then she looked at me real close and she said, "you don't even need the mustache." 

Louis thought that was an interesting story, but he sympathized with him, taking his hand. "But I bet you were a good Papa bear."

"Babe, they made me the Papa bear understudy." 

Louis gasps and Harry nods. "That's right, Louis. For three years, I sat there on the side in a Papa bear suit, and I swore I would never again come into second in anyone or anything, ever."

Louis hums and speaks gently. "You know, I knew you had some dark stuff in your past, but now I realize, you're just crazy."

Harry sighs. "Come on, Louis. I know I got a little carried away today, but I've got this competition thing under control."

"You know what, I'm going to help you out. Tomorrow we have auditions, so if I think you're going a little overboard, I'll give you a little signal."

"What is it?" 

Louis tells him to lean closer, and then shouts. "You're doing it again!" 

Harry scowls irritably and slaps his shoulder. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The day after auditions are held, Harry falls ill. He wakes up, coughing horrendously into his hands. His eyes feel sore and his skin feels warm all over, and he fears he won't be able to direct the play anymore, now that he feels terrible. Harry sneezes and whines, expecting Louis to awake. He makes another noise, still not receiving a voice of concern and he grumbles. "I said achoo!" Louis startles awake and Harry whimpers.

"Are you okay?"

"I feel awful, Louis," Harry complains, rocking himself back and forth as he held his middle. "Damn that Devon." He swears.

Louis frowns, rubbing his back comfortingly. "Who's Devon?" 

"That little outbreak monkey that sneezed in my face. Oh, Louis, now I'm sick! The play's five days away– you have to direct the play." Harry says. 

"Me? I can't direct six year old's in Shakespeare." 

"Obviously you'll never be as great as I am, but you've got to do this for me, you got to beat Miss Jenner!" Harry cries, working himself into a coughing fit. 

Louis agrees, although he doesn't exactly want to and rubs Harry's back. "Alright, baby, I'll do it." Harry sighs in relief and leans in for a kiss but Louis puts distance to them. "But I need a kiss." 

"Here." Louis offers his head and Harry kisses it. He falls back against the headboard after, like that alone made him exhausted. "Baby, just make sure Audrey shines like the star she is."

That afternoon, when Louis' with the children in the auditorium, the first person he removes as the lead is Audrey. "I'm not Juliet?" She asks. 

"No, Bianca's going to be Juliet." Louis answers. 

"Yay, that's the best news I've heard all week!" Audrey exclaims. Louis smiles, happy that she didn't throw a fit over it. He loves his daughter, of course, but Harry was biased when casting the characters, and Audrey just wasn't right for it. "That's right, you're going to be the wind," he explains like it's the most sacred thing in the world. "Let me see your wind."

Audrey stands, wiggling her arms and Louis fakes like he's falling. "Woah, you're going to blow us all away with that."

Bianca draws her eyebrows together. "I don't think Mr. Tomlinson's going to like this." She comments. 

"Well, Mr. Tomlinson is sick, so I'm going to be taking over him for a while."

The children chorus cheers of happiness and Devon lowers his hands. "Is he dead?" He asks curiously. 

"No, he's not dead." 

They make noises of disappointment and Louis hurries to correct himself. "Hey, but listen, he will die, one day." The joy returns and Louis has to return to maturity. "Okay, now listen, seriously. Just because Mr. Tomlinson is out, doesn't mean I'm not going to have the same level of commitment to this production," Louis tells the children. "now, run along and play." They all hop off the stage, except one girl, who frowns. "Mr. Tomlinson, I'm having trouble understanding Shakespeare. The words don't make any sese to me." She says. 

"What're you having trouble with?"

"Well, for instance, Hark, what light thru yonder window breaks? What does that mean?" 

"That means, yo, the sun is out. I'll tell you what, let me do a little dabbling with the script, and I'll make the words easier for everyone, okay? Now why don't you run along with the other kids." Louis says. Once she's out the auditorium, he sits down and places his notebook in his lap, noting the things he'd like to tweak. Just as he's turned to an open page, a little girl approaches him. 

"Hello, Rachel." 

"What makes you qualified to be in charge? I mean, have you gone to college, or are you just a novice?"

Louis blinks, having never been questioned by a child. "I'm just taking over for my husband while he's sick." 

"Oh, I get it. Another hand picked husband with no backbone." 

Louis laughs. "Well, I don't think assisting your husband while he's ill makes you have no backbone."

Rachel pats his arm. "You wouldn't," she falsely sympathizes. "well, I gotta go. My Dad's going to pick me up in a while. You might want to meet him, he's a real man." Louis watches her leave in slight confusion but returns to his page, only to be interrupted again, by three boys. 

"And what can I do for you gentlemen?"

Devon crosses his arms over his chest. "Mr. Tomlinson, we don't want to do Romeo and Juliet."

"Why not? Romeo and Juliet is a great play." 

"It's not, it's a girl's play." Devon argues. 

"And you guys all feel that way?" 

"Yeah." They parrot. 

"We want to do Jack and the beanstalk." Devon says. 

Louis hums. "Well, I tell you what, my husband said I can take creative license, so why don't we put some of the stuff you guys want to do in the play." 

Devon tilts his head, squinting his eyes. "We can do anything?" 

"Anything."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Show night

Harry has overall recovered from his illness. He wasn't there to help the play at all, and he only hopes Louis kept the common sense to make the play decent. The triplets, eldest children, and Louis were already at the school preparing the play, leaving Harry with the younger ones. He finishes pulling Faith's leggings up her legs and then announces to the rest of the children to get in the car. Harry props Faith on his hip and she twirls his curls around her finger. "Mamma, what's it about?" 

"Romeo and Juliet," He answers happily, turning to the twins. "and tomorrow at school, you can tell your classmates about the awesome play your Mom directed." 

Delaney twists her lips. "I asked my friends, no one knows what Romeo and Juliet is." She says. 

Harry frowns and Claire pats his shoulder, her voice filled with nothing but sarcasm. "Don't worry mom, I'm sure they'll all of a sudden care once the play goes on." The older man glares at her, shrugging her hand off. "Whatever. You'll all realize how much of a great production it is when you see it, and you'll wish you didn't just degrade it." 

"I did not." Claire lies. 

Allison comes down the stairs, holding Alice's hand for help. When she gets to the last step, she runs to Harry, excited for him to see her. "Mommy, you like my outfit?!" 

Harry raises an eyebrow as he stares at the fairy costume and cowboy boots she chose, but he doesn't tell her to change. He instead smiles, brushing her curls out her face so he could adjust her headband. "You look beautiful, love. Where'd your sandals go?" He asks. 

Allison laughs. "Oh, yeah, when I was pooping I kicked my feet and it fell in the toilet!" 

Harry nods his head skeptically. "And did you wipe?" 

"Of course!" She pauses for a moment, as if to question herself before running back to the bathroom. Harry sighs and hands Faith to Alice. "I'll be back." He murmurs, going to help her wipe thoroughly. 

Louis stands backstage with the set's clipboard, listening to the chatter of the audience. It sounds like a decent amount, and Harry's already messaged him that he and the kids have arrived. Junior approaches from behind him, smiling. "Where's Miss Jenner?" Louis slowly lowers his clipboard, arching an eyebrow. "You like her?"

"Oh, yeah. If my kindergarten teacher looked like that, I would have stayed for three years instead of two." Junior says. 

Louis shakes his head at his son, clicking his pen off. "You know, it's not a good idea to be lusting over your siblings' teacher. Now, get up there in the rafters and move that spotlight. I don't want you to miss any of your cues." He directs, pointing to the ceiling. 

Junior frowns. "What about the rest of the alphabet?"

Meanwhile, the curtains to the stage open and Kendall walks out, dressed in a polished blue blazer and matching skirt. Harry scowls as the audience applaud her, holding Faith on his lap. Kendall holds her hands in front of her, greeting the crowd. "Welcome to the kindergarten school play. Despite numerous requests for last year's spectacular Hansel and Gretel," she brags, taking a bow as they cheer. "Tonight we will be presenting a selection from the kindergarten favorite, William Shakespeare. So, sit back, relax, try to stay awake, as I present to you; Romeo and Juliet, The Final Conflict."

The final what? Harry sits up in his seat with furrowed brows as the curtains open fully. Vanessa steps forward, dressed in a tree costume. Music starts to play, that definitely is not apart of the Shakespeare soundtrack, and she starts to rap. "Let me tell you about a story, about a dude and dudate, his name Romeo, her name Juliet. Both of their families were at war, but they're in love, forevermore. Only ones who knew, were the Capulir Crew, a cyclops named Mark, and a big ugly shark." The song ends and Harry blinks in disbelief, fearing for the rest of the play. 

Louis nods proudly from behind the curtains and urges Audrey out. "Go on, Audrey, be the wind!"

Audrey runs out and spins around like crazy, intimidating the wind. Harry watches her in disappointment, of Louis, and Claire giggles. "They have her as the wind." She muses. 

Bianca was at the top of a paper castle, Avery on the ground as he looks up. "Romeo, oh Romeo, where for art thou, Romeo?" 

"Here I am!" Avery exclaims. 

Bianca gasps exaggeratedly, bringing her hands to her mouth, giving the cue for the ninjas to come out. "Romeo, o Romeo, who shall save you, my love?" 

A shark dressed boy runs out to the castle and threatens Bianca, who runs away screaming. Devon chases her around before stopping in the middle of the stage to dance. 

Later, Avery calls out for her. "Juliet, I can not find thee. Where the heck are you?"

The ninjas come back out with their swords, starting a short fight. They dramatically and horribly die, and Bianca runs back out. "Romeo, you're my hero!" Adeline then jumps out of the curtains with a googly eye glued to her forehead, growling. 

"How will you defeat him?!" Bianca questions loudly. 

Louis tosses a toy gun onto the stage and Adeline kicks it toward Avery, continuing to growl. Avery shoots her with water and she screams. "I'm melting!" She wiggles her body on the dirty floor, rolling around until she stops, and Bianca and Avery hug. 

Vanessa sings the conclusion. "Romeo shot the cyclops right between the eye, that's how the story ended, and it's time to say goodbye!" The cast gather around her and exclaim. "And remember, put the peanut in the peanut hole!"

The audience applaud and Harry sighs, handing Faith to Claire, so he could get on the stage. "And we must thank our director, Mr. Tomlinson." Kendall says. 

Harry gets on with him, smiling with a mix of genuineness and force. "You hear that, that's the sound of victory. A sound you're not familiar with." He tells Kendall through his teeth. 

Although the rewritten version of Romeo and Juliet was.. interesting, Harry was still proud of the triplets, being able to have fun on stage and in front of all those people. He squishes Avery's cheeks in his hands and kisses him all over his face before pulling his two sisters in his arms for a group hug. "I'm so proud of you guys." 

"I was a good wind, right, Mommy?" Audrey asks

"You were." Harry agrees, holding them tightly. They go to a restaurant for dinner, needing a long table to fit everyone. Louis wraps his arm around the shoulder of the chair and gasps suddenly, snapping his finger. "Oh, I get it! You put the peanut in the peanut hole." He says randomly. Harry furrows his eyebrows. "I still don't get it, Louis." 

"You will when we get home." Louis murmurs and Harry gasps loudly, grabbing attention from customers. 

Chapter Text

After Louis' cum incident with Harry's sketchbook, he had to somehow cover it up, often needing to present his projects to the company. Recently, he's been working more hours, which explains why he has to leave in the morning to go to work, only hoping Louis gets the children to school on time. Harry puts his arm through the sleeve of his blazer, preparing for work. He reaches his hands up to his hair to feel his curls, that definitely needed refreshening, but Louis was still in the bathroom. "Lou, you've been in the bathroom for hours. Are you alright?" He calls. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, baby." Louis replies. 

"Well, I need to get in there." Harry says and tugs on the handle, only for it to not open. "Why's the door locked?" 

"Just hold on, I'll open it." He hears shuffling from the other side before Louis finally opens it, allowing him in. Harry wrinkles his nose cautiously, stepping inside. "Is it safe?" Louis forces a laugh and follows him toward the mirror. "I don't understand why you take so long, you have nothing to get ready for." Harry says. 

"It takes a lot of time to work on the stubble, baby. The shine doesn't just come naturally." Louis muses, stroking the hairs. Harry laughs. "What shine?" He pulls open the drawer and finds a white bag, raising an eyebrow. "What's this?" 

"Oh, that's trash, let me take that ou-" 

"No, wait a minute." Harry gently takes the bag back and digs inside it. "Hair dye for men, send the grey away?" Louis shrugs his shoulders like he doesn't understand a thing. "How did that get in there?"

Harry stares at him seriously. "Louis, what's going on?"

Louis sighs, shoving his hands into his sweatpants. "Okay, H, I found a grey hair." Harry creases his forehead, because the very visible grey hairs have been on his head for the past four years, and he never once complained about them. "Where, on your face?" He asks.

"Lower." 

"Your chest?" 

"Warmer."

Harry's eyes widen. "You're nuts!"

"Exactly," Louis confirms, pressing his lips together. "The right one." He adds. Harry laughs, pressing his palm to his mouth. "How did you even discover that?" Louis twists his lips. "Well, I was about to get in the shower and I was sitting here, clipping my toenails, and I look down and there's a white hair sticking out." Harry bites his lip so he doesn't show his amusement anymore than he already has. He doesn't want Louis to feel embarrassed about his discovery, or anything. Although he hasn't grown any grey hairs yet, grey hairs on his balls? He would die. "Oh, well, baby, it's not so bad. Grey hairs just prove how long you've been.. a man." 

"And how much closer I'm getting to dying." Louis murmurs. Harry cups his cheeks and speaks earnestly. "I'm serious, Lou, it's nothing bad. I quite like the grey hairs."

 The older man hums and kisses his nose. "I guess all that's important is if you like it."

"You, too."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Hours ago, the family received an email, informing them that Dakota would be bringing a hamster home. They provided them the transportation cage, and it's actual cage, along with it's necessities. Dakota would be bringing it back by Friday, but she was allowed to keep it for the week. When she returns home, Harry helps her set up the cage in her and her sister's bedroom. "Mommy, I'm so glad. I love Buddy, the hamster." Dakota says. 

"It was nice for your class to let you have him for the week." Harry mentions. 

"That's because I won the spelling bee." Dakota finally explains. 

Harry smiles. "Really? And what did you have to spell?"

"Bee."

Delaney skids into the room and rounds the bed, wanting to see the hamster. "Wow, will Daddy let us get our own pet?" She wonders, kneeling down to see it better. Harry makes an unsure noise. "I don't think so, but maybe after this, we can try to convince Daddy. Just don't lose him." The twins nod obediently and he continues setting up the cage. 

Meanwhile, Louis sits downstairs in the living room, watching Ave and Adeline perform another one of their tricks. "Daddy, watch us do hopscotch!" Adeline exclaims. The two cross their feet and jump around until Ave ends up slipping, falling harshly on his butt. Louis has to force himself not to groan when he starts to wail and lifts him off the ground, bouncing him in his arms. "Alright, why don't you sit down and watch something." Louis suggests. 

Adeline grins. "Yay, Team Umizoomi!"

The doorbell rings and Louis sighs, carrying Ave with him. The door reveals a woman and a boy, no older than thirteen. She offers her hand. "Hi, I'm Kelitta Thompkins, this is my son Dylan, we just moved in down the street." Louis accepts her hand with his free one. "Oh, well, I'm Louis Tomlinson. Welcome to the neighborhood."

Alice passes by with her eyes glued to her Nintendo and Kelitta smiles. "Oh, how nice, you have children." Louis grabs her by the shoulder to turn her body to the family. "Yes, this is my daughter, Alice. Alice, this is Mrs. Thompkins and her son, Dylan."

"Hey." She vaguely greets, keeping her eyes on her game. Dylan awkwardly waves, so Kelitta cuts the tension. "I was hoping there's other children in the neighborhood around Dylan's age." She says, urging him forward. 

Louis observes the boy for a moment. He didn't appear a threat, and honestly seemed like (spare his bluntness) a nerd. Plus, Alice could care less about a boy. Louis was gracefully blessed a daughter that wasn't desperate to be rebellious. "I'm sure they'll get along well, right, Alice?" Alice doesn't reply, too indulged in her game, so he discretely pinches her. "Ow- right."

And anyway, it's his job as a parent to expand Alice's horizons. Whether she likes it or not. When Kelitta and Dylan leave the doorstep, he shuts the door behind them and shifts Ave in his arms. "What's your problem? That was rude of you." He scolds, referring to her absence in the conversation. 

"Dad, he's a nerd." 

"Nerd or not, you're going to be a  good neighbor and play with that kid." Louis chides. Alice groans and walks away, resuming her game. Harry descends down the steps just as Alice makes her way up, noticing her face stuffed in that game. He shakes his head as he approaches Louis. "Are we going to have to take away that thing, too?" He jests. 

Louis waves him off. "She'll be fine, she's just as into it as I was when it first came out. She won't be too entertained by it for long, though. We've got a new neighbor with a boy just about her age." He informs. Harry raises an eyebrow, not sure whether he should be proud or confused. "A boy that you're fine with leaving your daughter alone with? Isn't that interesting." 

Louis shrugs. "She called him a nerd, I've got nothing to worry about." 

"And so is your daughter. Opposites aren't the only ones that attract." Harry reminds pointedly. Louis' carelessness vanishes and he makes an expression like he's mortified. "What have I done?" His husband laughs, taking Avery from his arms before he drops the poor boy. "I'm just teasing you, babe. I'm sure Alice will never want anything to do with him romantically." 

"She better." Louis murmurs. 

Dakota's footsteps come tumbling down the stairs as she enters the foyer, her eyebrows drawn in worry. "Mommy!"

"Oh, right, it's time for Tumble Tots." Harry remembers.

"No, mommy! Buddy got out of his cage and I can't find him." She says. Harry's eyes round. "How did that happen, Dakota?" He demands. 

"I left his cage open, but I told him not to move." Dakota proclaims. Harry sighs, trying to ease himself and her. "Okay, there's food in his cage, so he'll come back when he's hungry. We'll find him, let's go." Louis follows them with his eyes before looking down at Ave. "That won't be you."

"I want a lizard!" Ave enthuses. 

"That's never going to happen!" Louis responds with the same amount of excitement.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The next day, Alice goes to Dylan's house. The two rarely speak and just sit in silence as the girl boringly taps on his bed. "So, what do you want to do?" Alice asks. Dylan twists in his chair quietly and shrugs, too shy to speak. Alice blows a raspberry and scans the room until her eyes fall on something. "No way, you have the wireless controllers?!" She questions in surprise. Before Alice can reach the game system, Dylan stops her. "I can't, it's the Sabbath and we're not allowed to use electricity until Saturday night." He tells her. Alice furrows her eyebrows in confusion and he adds, "It's a Jewish thing."

Dylan goes to turn around but Alice stops him. "Would it be breaking the rules if I worked the controllers while you tell me which aliens to shoot?" 

Dylan tilts his head. "I guess not. I never thought of that before." Alice laughs and sits down on the carpet, the boy following. She turns on the game and hovers her fingers on the control, waiting for him to give her directions. "Left, right, left, right, B, A, and start. That'll get you unlimited ammo." 

She obliges and starts to move the joy stick. "Hey, I thought this game doesn't come out until next month? How'd you get it?" She wonders. 

"My cousin's a beta tester. In fact, he's going to have the arcade version of this game at his bar mitzvah this Saturday. You want to go?" Dylan says. 

"I guess there'll be a lot of video game nerds, huh?" Alice genuinely asks.  

"Probably." 

"Sounds like fun." She smiles.

Danny's bar mitzvah

"Therefore, at the age of 13, a boy is responsible for his deeds, spiritually, ethically, and morally. Leviticus 19:18." The Rabbi reads into the microphone. Fortunately, Alice was given permission to go to the bar mitzvah. She wasn't sure what she expected, but this segment was going too slow for her, and she was already nodding off by the time the rabbi started speaking in Hebrew. Dylan lightly elbows her awake to avoid any chastisement from adults near. "You should love your neighbor as you love yourself. Treat others the way we want to be treated. Amen."

Eventually, they finally leave service and into the arcade, where multiple teens gather, eating deserts and playing games. Alice stands at the arcade, fiercely pressing the buttons. Dylan approaches with her cheesecake and stands close. "Ready, switch!" They quickly swap and she gets possession of the cake while he keeps up their high score. Dylan messes up and loses it, but Alice doesn't berate him for it. "Let's go dip stuff in the chocolate fountain."

They turn around to make their way to the fountain and Dylan stops. "There's Elana, I've liked her since the first grade." He admits. There's a tall girl in a modest dress with a couple of girls in the middle of the room, likely being Elana. Alice purses her lips. "Why don't you dance with her?" 

"She thinks I'm nebbish," Alice twists her face in confusion and he corrects. "A nerd."

"No, you're not a nerd," Alice immediately denies. "Look, if I can get you two on the dance floor, will you dance with her?"

Dylan scrunches his eyebrows. "How?" 

Alice rolls her eyes and hands him her cheesecake. She then approaches Elana, smiling. "Do you know how to Electric Slide? Let's do it." Elana watches her for a moment before following suite, along with a couple other people. Alice steps back and notices Dylan standing there like he had no brain. "Dude, get in." She tugs his arm roughly and he stumbles beside Elana. "H-Hi, Elana."

"Hi." She greets. 

Dylan turns to Alice. "She said hi to me!"

"I know, now dance." Alice mutters. 

The next day, Alice returns to Dylan's house. "I had so much fun. I danced so hard, I emptied my inhaler." He says. The friends sit together on the bedroom floor while they play a video game, reminiscing the party. "Yeah, me, too. Thanks for inviting me. There was a lot of good stuff in those goodie bags," Alice says. "I wish there was a bar mitzvah every weekend."

Dylan pauses. "Actually, there are. It's b'nai mitzvah season, and all the kids at my school are going."

"You go to another school after your regular school?" Alice asks.

"And on Sunday," Dylan adds. "but since I'm new in town, I'm not invited to any. So how are we supposed to get in?"

Alice scoffs. "If your people can find their way through the dessert, I'm sure we can find our way into Encino Gardens Banquet Hall." 

Surprisingly, for the first time in years, Louis' left alone in the house. All the kids had something to do and this evening he's left alone to watch television by himself, no interruptions. Having Alice hang out with Dylan benefited him greatly, because she always used to be the only one in the house when the rest of her siblings were gone. Today, she was at some bar mitzvah Dylan's cousin is having. Louis watches some game show he's been unreasonably interested in, sipping on a box of apple juice. Unknowingly, Buddy crawls behind him on the top of the sofa. Louis feels the presence of something and turns around, screaming when he's sees the animal. 

He barely catches a glimpse of it, and thinking it's a rat, he slaps it away. He leisurely stands up and approaches the hamster's dead body, lightly moving it with his shoe. "Oh my god, I killed a rat." He whispers to himself. Harry enters the the front door after dropping the kids off, dropping his keys on the coffee table. "Hey, baby." 

"Look, Haz, I killed a rat!" Harry looks to where he's pointing and his mouth falls open in mortification. "Oh my god, you killed Buddy!" He shrieks. 

Louis furrows his eyebrows, glancing back at the pet. "You knew him?"

"That's Dakota's hamster from school!" Harry explains, putting his hands on his head dramatically. "Oh, so what are we gonna do?" Louis asks. 

"We? Oh no, you killed him. You better give him mouth to mouth." Harry says. 

"I'm not putting my mouth on a rat's mouth." Louis replies in disgust. 

"Well, you better think of something, Louis." 

Louis bites his lip and looks up at the ceiling, trying to think of something. "Okay, I can just buy a new one and replace it." Harry sighs, crossing his arms over his chest. "I hope you're right, Louis," he glances down at Buddy and gasps. "oh, he moved!"

Louis screams and kicks him again, ultimately killing the hamster. "Louis, no!"

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry leaves to pick the twins up from Tumble Tots, leaving Louis to figure out this hamster situation. He obviously doesn't know how to go about, so he tries to get a replacement, which didn't exactly work. Now, he's examining the rodent with a string around it's neck to move it without touching it. He physically shakes trying to get close to it, but he doesn't have to do much, since Harry pushes the front door open, Dakota running inside. "Daddy, you found Buddy!"

Louis gapes. "Uh.. yeah, and I put a leash on his neck so he can't get away, again." He lies. Harry glares at him from behind the girl, and she observes the pet, tilting her head. "What's he doing?"

"Buddy's sleeping right now, so, shh." Louis hushes, bringing his finger up to his lips. Dakota grabs his string. "No, he's lazy. He needs some exercise." She declares, pulling him off the table. Harry yelps when she turns around with the dead hamster, backing away abruptly. Dakota smiles and runs around the table, dragging him with her. "Come on, Buddy!" 

Louis jumps onto the dining chairs, avoiding the rodent. "Dakota," Harry tries to intervene. She leaves the dining room and he exhales loudly, practically seething when his eyes land on Louis. "I take it, you didn't complete your errands, honey."

"I didn't have the time, sugar."

"Well, you're going to have to talk to her, sweetie."

"I will, but I don't want to break her heart, honeybuns."

Harry smiles passive aggressively. "You sure broke his skull without a second thought, cupcake. You need to go in there and tell her the truth." He grits. 

"I will, when I find the right words to say, dumpy- I mean, dumpling." Harry scowls at him harder until Dakota comes running into the room, holding Buddy up. "Look, Daddy, I have him trained!" Harry hides his face in his hands, completely stressed. 

"Roll over, sit up," she moves it around with the string. "play dead." 

Louis raises his eyebrows. "He's got that one down already." 

Dakota smiles. "Now watch this." She goes into the bowl on the counter and grabs his old mini ball before throwing it. "Fetch!" She exclaims, tossing Buddy's body away with an under arm throw. She runs after him and puts the ball in his mouth, displaying him. "Tada!"

And still, at dinner, she keeps Buddy's body with her while they eat, everyone's faces turned in disgust as it sits on the table. Dakota frowns with her cheek rested in her hands, offering the lettuce from her salad. "We ran around the block four times, why aren't you eating?" 

Harry twists his knife on the table uneasily, breathing shallowly. "I think I'm going to vomit."

Louis sits up. "Hey, Dakota, I have an idea. Why don't we take Buddy outside and feed him there." 

"To what?" Junior grimaces, earning a kick from under the table. Dakota nods in agreement, dropping her fork. "Okay!" She hops out her chair and grabs Buddy's string. "Come on, Buddy. Jump down!"

When it's family game time, Dakota insists that Buddy plays with him, so his body lays on the game mat. "That's six, Dakota." Harry tells her after she picked up her card. Dakota hums, turning to Louis. "Daddy, I can't reach it. Can you move it for me, please?"

"Oh, not again," Louis groans. "Can you hand me those Buddy tongs, please?" Harry grabs it for him and hands it over, retracting his body immediately after. Louis shakily skips Buddy's body over the board, but he gets too squeamish staring at his dead body and drops him. "Oh, okay! That's six, Buddy wins!" 

Harry shivers. "Dakota, can you please give us a break? Put him to bed, or something."

Dakota nods in agreement. "Yeah, sure, Mommy." She takes Buddy off the table and swings him around, bringing him to Harry. "Say goodnight." She sings. Harry almost falls out his chair as he tries to escape. "Goodnight, goodnight! Okay, goodnight!"

Dakota grins and skips to Louis. "Okay, goodnight-" 

"Kiss Buddy!" She says. 

"Goodnight!"

Everyone else barely gets through saying goodnight, instead screaming in fear. When Dakota leaves upstairs, Harry damn near growls in anger. "One more time, Louis. I swear to God."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

It's a miracle that Alice and Dylan get into the bar mitzvah. They almost don't make it, but Alice remembers the verse from Danny's ceremony. If it wasn't for her, they wouldn't have made it, because all Dylan did was choke up. Thankfully, they get accepted in, and Alice has the most fun she's had in the last year. She sings the Dreidel Song with Dylan, dances with rabbis, and she wears her first yarmulke. At the end, they receive a huge gift bag, and that begins their addiction to bar and bat mitzvah gifts. At the second bar mitzvah, she teaches rabbis how to play "Hearts", experience The hora, and gamble with a dreidel. 

The next morning, Alice walks into the kitchen feeling like she's experiencing a hangover. She rubs her head exhaustedly, hearing the background noise of the television. "Looks like someone had a blast last night." Louis says. 

"Dad, please, not so loud. I'm coming down from the sugar." Alice mutters, trying to keep her eyes open. 

"I guess you wouldn't want this package that came for you," he bribes. "From.. Jeff Green."

Alice pivots quickly, all her sluggishness gone. "I got a package from Jeff Green?!" She rushes to the counter and takes the box, grabbing a pair of scissors. Louis arches an eyebrow as she opens the box hastily, curious as to who Jeff Green is. Alice takes out a small gold box and lays it on the table. When she opens it, gold confetti pops out, and she gasps, pulling out a scroll. "Wow, I got invited to Jeff Green's bar mitzvah. His dad's a dot-commer, but he got out right before the bubble burst."

Louis hums as if he understands and sips on his morning tea. "Oh, they're having a medieval theme! Complete with knights, maidens, and a feudal serf! Oh, man, I have to pick out my outfit." She does so and then practically runs to Dylan's house to tell him about it. When she comes into his room, he's working on homework at his desk. 

"Hey, guess whose bar mitzvah's this Saturday!" She announces. 

"I know, can you believe it? Hey, you have to wear that dress, you know, with the raised collar. The guys can't get enough of that one." Dylan tells her. Alice hums. "Yeah, that would go well with my new blazer. So what're you going to wear?"

"My father said that wearing a black suit during the reading of the hoftarah makes me look more dignified." Dylan answers. Alice furrows her eyebrows. "Hey, wait a minute, why would you be doing the reading?"

Dylan tilts his head. "It's my bar mitzvah, why wouldn't I be doing it?"

Alice's eyes widen in realization. "Oh, yeah. What was I thinking?" 

Dylan chuckles, continuing. "It's going to be a very small, traditional party. You know, just for close friends and relatives. And my bubby's flying in from Boca." Alice sags her shoulders, scoffing exaggeratedly. "Oh, man! I just remembered, I can't go. I'm going to be out of town on Saturday."

"What? Y-You can't, you have to be there. It's my big day." Dylan says. 

"I completely forgot about the trip, I'm so sorry, Dyl. Um, I gotta go, though. I'll see you later." Alice hurries back home as the guilt fills her up, groaning when she hears her father calling her. She walks into his closet, finding him digging through his suits. "Do you think gators are appropriate for Dylan's bar mitzvah?" Louis questions. 

"Wait, you're going to Dylan's bar mitzvah?"

"Yeah, the whole family was invited." Louis says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. 

"No, but you can't go, Dad."

Her Dad furrows his eyebrows. "Why not?" 

"Because I told Dylan I was going to be out of town that weekend, so I could go to Jeff Green's bar mitzvah." Alice replies. Louis stares at her disapprovingly, disappointment written all over his face. "I thought him and you were friends, I can't believe you'd chose material things over you guys' friendship."

"But they're selling plasmas!"

"Look, I'm not going to force you to go. You're fourteen, now, you can make your own decisions. But the family and I are still going." 

Alice scoffs. "But what am I going to tell Dylan?"

"I don't know, you have to figure this out on your own."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Dakota shakes Buddy's wheel stressfully, the hamster not budging once. Louis enters her bedroom to see her like this, close to tears as she urges the hamster to move. "What's wrong, baby?" 

"Buddy won't play with me." She pouts. 

Louis slowly shuts the door, sighing. He figures this was the time to tell Dakota the truth, so she no longer traumatizes the rest of the family with that damned animal. "I need to talk to you." He says, taking a seat on the bedroom bench. Dakota sits on his leg, frowning deeply. "Remember in the movie, The Lion King, when Simba's Dad passed away?" She nods. Louis rubs his right thigh, struggling to get the words out. "Well, Buddy here is like Simba's Dad. He, uh, he went on that big wheel in the sky."

Dakota cocks her head, her face twisting in confusion. "You mean, he's dead?" 

"Yes." Louis solemnly says. Dakota jumps off him, shouting. "Gross, you let me play with a dead hamster? What's wrong with you?!"

"I'm sorry. Daddy's going to buy you a new hamster, and he'll replace this one, and no one will be able to tell the difference." Louis says. 

She nods understandingly, returning in his arms. "Daddy, how did Buddy really die?"

"The truth is, Eileen did it." Louis lies. 

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

"A son of the commandment understands that friendship enriches and strengthens our wisdom and character." The rabbi reads. Alice sits at the ceremony by herself, worryingly checking her watch. Although she is at Jeff's bar mitzvah, she still wants to be apart of Dylan's. "True friends are those who have a meaningful and lasting relationship. The material gains of this world are temporary, but true friendship lasts a lifetime." She begins to sweat, paranoid that the rabbi's specifically talking to her, and soon she can't take it anymore. Alice abruptly stands from her bench and rushes out of service.

At Dylan's bar mitzvah, his family surrounds the table with him. "So mazel tov to my cousin, Dylan. May he never find himself on the wrong side of an isosceles triangle." His cousin says as he lights his candle. Everyone applauds. "Now that we've had all of Dylan's family up here, it's time for some of his friends." A woman announces. 

No one stands or offers to light a candle, creating an awkward atmosphere. Harry twists his lips sympathetically and turns to Louis. "You have to go up there and say something on Alice's behalf," Louis stares at him like he's crazy and he rolls his eyes. "I don't think Dylan has any friends."

"Come on, Haz, I don't want to go up there. What am I supposed to say? I don't know these people." Louis mutters. 

Harry replies through his teeth. "You're the comedian, say something funny."

Louis grumbles, slapping his napkin down. "Fine." 

"Good luck, Daddy!" Faith wishes. The older man forces a smile as he pushes his chair out, but he's interrupted. "I have something to say." Alice states loudly, grasping everyone's attention. Although she's nervous to have everyone's eyes on her, she continues forward to the table containing candles. Kelitta happily hands her the lighter and she stands confidently. "I once heard a rabbi say that a friend is someone who sees my faults better than I see them myself, but has the patience and the grace to forgive," she glances at Dylan, who smiles softly. The family behind her coo and she lights the candle. "To my friend, Dylan."

Chapter Text

This a take back to H&L in high school when he gets pregnant with Junior! Harry is 15 and Louis is 17

‎♡₊・₊✧

Harry can barely see what he's doing in the impalpable darkness, but the suspense gets him more aroused. I mean, come on, he may be fifteen but he's explored enough of the internet to understand which things turn him on and what doesn't. This, though, definitely does. Sucking his boyfriend's dick under the bleachers at the game they're supposed to be attending but aren't. Although Harry can't see, he can imagine his boyfriend's expression right now. Droopy, undazed eyes and wet lips that Harry wants to kiss so badly, but can't. Harry tightens his lips around the thick cock and takes him deeper down his throat, going at a tantalizing pace. Louis slides down his tight cavity and he almost chokes if it weren't for the distracting trick he read on the internet.

Honestly, the internet plays a big role in Harry's decisions. Harry starts to bob his head skillfully and deliberate, holding onto the base of Louis' dick to keep it in place. Louis moans above him and stares at the twinkling stars decorating the Prussian sky. He casts his eyes down at the bundle of curls tending his dick, wet suctions surrounding it and causing his knees to buckle. Louis tightens a fist in Harry's hair and encourages him to bob his head faster.

"Fuck, you're as beautiful as salt and vinegar chips."

Harry furrows his eyebrows and pulls his head away, his dick absently slipping out his mouth and touched by the cold air. "Why salt and vinegar?" He asks. He knows Louis can sometimes say dumb things, but that has to be the weirdest compliment he's ever heard.. if it even is one. "You taste like salt and vinegar, and you're also beautiful." Louis answers.

Harry rightfully gets offended. "Well, you taste like salt and spice." He argues as he stands to his feet, crossing his arms over his chest.

Louis gasps in offense, but he doesn't let it last long because he's very horny right now and it was an innocent compliment. "Why don't you do the sucking and then we can argue in the car?" He suggests.

Harry squints his eyes, seething. "You really think I'm going to fall for that, that qui-"

"I love your eyes, but they look even better when they're wide."

Harry does an entire one eighty, his eyes rounding and cheeks flushing. "Really?" He asks shyly.

"Mhm. Now why don't you get on your knees?"

"Okay." The younger boy easily agrees and kneels back down, shuffling back to his cock. Harry darts his tongue out and dips his tongue into his slit, tasting his precum. And no, it doesn't genuinely taste like salt and spice, it doesn't really have a taste if anything. Harry licks the underside of his cock, feeling the veins along his tongue before he takes him in his mouth, bobbing his head again.

Except, all pleasure is gone once the bright light shines on them; the light that belongs to the dean. Harry falls back abruptly, staring like a deer caught in headlights at the tall man holding a flashlight toward them. Harry's never felt the amount of embarrassment and shame he does at this moment, shielding his eyes from the light. "Get up right now." The man's voice booms.

Harry bites his bottom lip and stands on shaky legs, avoiding eye contact with Louis to prevent himself from crying. He hears Louis shuffle into his pants and his zipper being pulled up before they oblige the dean's orders. Then, Harry notices her, Vanessa Hudgens' eyes glaring at him, a snarky smile on her lips. Vanessa's been jealous of him ever since he joined the cheer team, paranoid that he'd steal her shine amongst their schoolmates. Which was honestly true, everything would have been over if the school would let him wear a skirt.

Harry eyes her back with nothing but anger as he follows the dean.

The clock is clicking tantalizing as Ken dials Desmond's number. Harry's lower lip trembles as he thinks about what his father will do. Desmond has to be the most difficult, inconsiderate, and least understanding person he has ever known. If the man hears that his son was sucking dick under the bleachers, he would never let Harry go out again. Louis notices his boyfriend's anxiousness and places his hand on his thigh, but Harry slaps it away. "Not now." He hisses.

"Please don't be mad at me." Louis whispers.

"I'm not." Harry mutters.

"Hello, Mr. Styles." Ken loudly interrupts, clearly trying to scare the boy.. and it's sadly working. "Yes, hello. I'm calling in regards to your son, who was caught earlier this evening having.. sexual relations."

It sounds even worse coming out of Ken's mouth. Harry squeezes his eyes shut and tries to not cry. Next, Ken calls Jay. The younger boy isn't too worried about Louis' mother, she's a very kind lady and she even bought them condoms once, so he doesn't think she'll be really angry at them.

It feels like hours waiting for Desmond to arrive but when he does, he makes it known. The door slams open and the man doesn't even apologize, he just grabs Harry roughly by the arm and yanks him to his feet. "Ow-"

"You weren't saying that when you were acting grown at school." Desmond lambastes, tightening his hand around Harry's arm. Harry whimpers, attempting to pull away. "Daddy, you're hurting me."

"Does it look like I care, boy? I did not raise you to behave like some damn-" He stops himself before he says something he doesn't mean to and settles his eyes on Ken. "Excuse my son, Mr. Ferrell. I can promise you that this won't happen again, and I sincerely apologize." Desmond says. Harry casts his attention to the floor like it's the most interesting thing on the planet, willing himself not to cry.

"Mr. Styles, please sit down. I'd like to have a conversation with both parents present, so we can discuss the consequences." Ken says.

Desmond smiles passively. "I don't think that will be necessary. I'll handle my son, and Mrs. Tomlinson can handle hers." He leaves it at that and ushers Harry out the room, fuming in anger. They don't even make it to the parking lot before Desmond starts yelling. "I can't believe you would do something like that to dishonor our family! I did not raise a hussy, having sex behind the bleachers!"

"I wasn't even having sex!" Harry cries.

"Then what the hell were you doing?!"

Harry nibbles on his bottom lip. There's no getting out of what he's done, and Mr. Ferrell's already told him the modest version, the best thing he can do is come clean. "I," he sighs. "I was sucking dick.. on accident?"

Desmond blinks, unbelieving. "Harry, son, come here." He says, beckoning him with his finger. Harry leisurely approaches him and he grabs him by the collar. "I want you to explain to me how the fuck you 'suck dick on accident'."

Tears start to pool his eyes. "It just... it just gets in your mouth."

"Just get the fuck in the car. I don't have time to deal with you right now."

Harry sobs and he knows he looks stupid right now ⎼ and his life is practically over if anyone from school witnesses ⎼ but that's the least of his worries. He's anticipating what will happen when he gets home.

Harry wishes he could disappear from existence. The moment he walks inside the house- no, before he can even get through the door, Desmond starts shouting at him. "I'm confiscating your phone and I don't ever want you talking to that guy again."

"You can't do that!"

"I sure as hell can! Remind me how old you are?!"

Harry scoffs. "Fifteen, but that doesn't matter! A lot of people have sex at this age, they even say it in sex ed! And it's not like I'm going to get pregnant. I just sucked him off. On accident."

Desmond sighs loudly. "Boy, you are really getting on my last nerve."

"I didn't do anything! You can't keep him away from me, Dad. I'm going to see him anyway."

"Do I need to go to his house with my gun?" He threatens. Harry rolls his eyes. That might have worked on him when he was little, but this is now. "You'll go to jail."

Desmond purses his lips before extending his arm, laying his palm up. "Hand me your phone." Harry hesitates, searching every corner of his mind to remember whether or not he has anything bad in there. He concludes that there isn't, because any inappropriate messages he may have are all on his computer. He drops the device in Desmond's hand and turns on his heels to stomp away, just for the purpose of making a scene. He's barely reached the stairs when his father calls out to him. "And give me your laptop!"

"Ugh!"

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Although Harry's angry, Desmond still requires him to sit at the table because "In the military, it doesn't matter if you're annoyed," when there's a significant difference to a family household and war, but Harry has no choice, because Anne refuses to defend his honor. He may not be her favorite but she can't deny he's her baby, so why not? Anyway, he's forced to eat with the family he currently despises at the moment, especially his eighteen year old sister who should totally just go to college already (but he's only saying that because he's mad at her). She won't stop laughing at Desmond's jeers and she knows it isn't even funny, she's just doing it to taunt him.

Harry chews his fried rice angrily and Desmond throws another comment. "Make sure you eat good, to get that semen out of your mouth." His son drops his fork on his plate and glares. "Well, I didn't even get to swallow."

Anne groans. "Would you two quit it? Harry, just finish your dinner."

"I don't even want it. The peas are still frozen." He says and Desmond goes into what he calls 'military mode'. "Do not speak to your mother like that. She worked very hard to fix this."

"I honestly just threw it into the crockpot." Anne murmurs.

"She worked very hard," Desmond insists. "and that's no way to speak to any adult, and you know that. You're not going to put your anger on everyone else simply because you were caught doing something you weren't supposed to."

Harry rolls his eyes. "Whatever, I wouldn't have even done it at school if you just let him come over."

"That's exactly why he doesn't come over, because I know how teenagers can be."

The younger boy slits his eyes and retaliates. "I don't want this stupid dinner, you guys can enjoy it and I'll continue being the 'disappointment child'."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, Harry." Anne calls as he walks away from the table. She sighs, his footsteps exaggeratedly hitting the steps. "Did you have to be so blatant, Des?" She asks exasperatedly.

"What? He wasn't-"

"You keep using that excuse, of course he wasn't, he was doing that under the bleachers."

Desmond smiles proudly, furthering his point. "Exactly, if you can't even get your words out then you know he wasn't supposed to be doing that."

"I wouldn't want to think about it if he was an adult, either. Think rationally, Desmond. This is your son, not some sergeant you're working with. There's a fine line between a grown man and a sexually active fifteen year old, if you would just talk to him, then maybe there wouldn't be such tall bridges between you guys."

Desmond thins his lips, and it suddenly isn't a joke anymore. Gemma recognizes this and decides to leave the table, not caring for their 'adult talk'. She was simply there to be entertained by her brother's dramatics. It's always fun to hear your brother was caught having sex at school.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry invites Louis over a week later. He may be grounded, but that doesn't mean he won't see Louis at school. They take sociology and business together, in which they see each other everyday. Harry knows Anne works late and Desmond happens to be taking a job at the military base, so he won't be returning until midnight. Gemma's also supposed to be out, he's not sure when she'll be returning, but he doesn't care, she should be gone long enough. So, once he confirms this information he practically begs Louis to come over. The school's been stingy about public affection ever since the incident and they've barely been alone the past couple of days, his proposal is boyfriend 101.

It's takes a lot of convincing for Louis to agree, then leading to now. The couple are in his bedroom, the windows draped shut in case of his nosy neighbors. His bed's made since he has no technology messing it up, and it's overall lonely⎼ but he knows Louis will do just the job once he's finished with him. They're already making out when Louis is in his room, sitting beside each other and although Harry's neck is slightly craned enough to be uncomfortable, he doesn't care. He just wants to get off with his boyfriend like they should have been doing that Friday night.

Harry moans in his mouth and parts his lips, lavishing his tongue. Louis grips his hip tightly and starts to stroke his thigh with the purpose of riling the younger boy up. They've only had sex four times, but they had been touching each other long before, enough for Louis to know every part of him that makes him aroused. Harry pulls away with a smack and ogles him, knowing just what his eyes do to Louis. "I want to have sex tonight." He says.

Louis bites his lip. "Are you sure that's a good idea, right now?"

"Of course it is. It's a great idea. Nobody's home this time." Harry tells him and he's honestly stupefied by Louis' question. What time wouldn't be better than to have loud sex while his family's out? Even on the night he lost his virginity, he had to be quiet because Gemma and Anne were there. "I just.. if someone happened to make a surprise visit, you'd be in more trouble than you already are."

Harry purses his lips. "True, but my mom doesn't really care," he thinks. "and who gives a fuck about Gemma?"

"Alright." Louis connects their lips again, Harry immediately melting into it. He cradles the side of Louis' jaw and lays down, allowing his boyfriend to slot between his legs. "I missed you so much." He murmurs against his lips. "My dad won't stop talking about it."

Louis chuckles. "Let's not talk about your dad right now, yeah?"

"Okay." Harry replies and pulls his shirt off. He remembers the night he first had sex, how he was so shy to even take off his shirt and reveal his four nipples, even though he told Louis that tale already. Louis was so sweet that night. He kissed him like he was his air and fucked him like it too. He was slow at first, and Harry was keen on the pace, but then he got a little too desperate and Louis took the neediness right out of him. Now, Harry loves sex with Louis- and he knows he can let himself completely loose with him.

Especially tonight.

First, Louis claims he has to set the mood because tonight is a special night. He plays Prince on the speaker and Harry laughs at that, calling him a dork. Louis retorts claiming he's a bigger one. Then, they're kissing again and Louis' hands undulate on his sides. "I feel like you get fitter every time I see you." Louis says.

"I do not," The fifteen year old rolls his eyes. "if anything, you are, Mr. Tattoos." He teases. Louis pouts falsely and runs his hands up his biceps. "I got it for you, appreciate them." For Harry's birthday last year, Louis surprised him with an italic writing of his name, illustrated with a ribbon and detailed rose. Harry thought it was so cute and hot, but he also got angry because tattoos are permanent. And although he doesn't like the thought, there's always the possibility they won't work, and Louis will be stuck with tattoos of his ex.

Louis simply retaliated with more tattoos.

Harry's more than aroused by the tattoos, especially when it's envisioned with Louis' naked and tan body. Harry bites his lip as he leches over his boyfriend's body, unconsciously opening his legs wider. "You wore these shorts on purpose." Louis acknowledges, tugging the fabric down his milky legs.

Harry smirks, cheekily replying. "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. You won't know until you fuck me."

Louis hums and presses their lips together again, grabbing Harry's dick. Harry moans into his mouth and lazily kisses him as Louis starts to stroke his length, making him impossibly harder. The youngest starts to roll his hips in a desperate move for attention to his hole that's begging to be filled. "Oh my god, finger me, please." Harry whines.

Louis pulls away, answering softly. "I was just trying to make it last longer."

"Make me last longer on your dick." Harry replies mindlessly. Louis laughs, but he isn't opposed to the offer. He scoots himself further down the bed until his head is between Harry's opens legs, holding them softly to separate them. "Why don't I eat you out?"

"Fuck, yes." Harry groans.

Louis smiles and pulls his shorts off, noticing that he didn't have anything underneath. "Did you not wear your briefs?"

"I expected you to fuck me." Harry says obviously.

Louis laughs lightly and gives a kitten lick to his hole with the full intention of riling him up. It works, and not only does it rile him up, but it also riles Louis; who can at the moment, only think with his dick. They're a mess of kisses and moans of pleasure that Louis doesn't have time (he was too lazy) to put on a condom, and for the first time, Louis feels how truly tight Harry is.

Harry lays on his pillow with his legs up, separating his cheeks the best he could with Louis moving against and inside him. "You feel so deep." He whines, his mouth falling open. Louis groans into his neck and snaps his hips faster, their skin echoing through the room. He feels his balls tighten and he knows it's coming, he can feel the euphoric sensation in his lower stomach. The pressure of Harry's hole tightening around him doesn't do any justice, either. Louis moans near his ear, thrusting harder. "I-I read on those psychology b-books, you know, the ones about the mind and biology. It said if you think hard enough, you won't get pregnant." He lies. He knows it's bad. He can barely think straight and he knows he won't be able to pull out fast enough. Harry's also blinded by pleasure and he definitely won't process what he just said.

Louis can feel bad about it later. Right now he just needs to come. "You did?" Harry slurs, making little noises in his throat.

"Uh huh, and you can take the morning after pill, in case." Come on, Louis may be a little desperate right now, but he knows right from wrong.

"Okay, just come on. I want to come together." Harry says and bends his knees, spreading his legs wider. Louis groans and sits up on his knees, gripping the younger boy's thighs tightly. He thrusts his hips rhythmically, feeling his cock start to pulse as he gets closer.

"T-tell me when." Harry breathes.

"Now."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The next day, Harry's busy helping Anne prepare some Halloween party for her second grade class. She wasn't officious about it, she didn't get help regularly, anyway. But Desmond kept insisting that Harry needs to learn from the "despicable incident" at school. That morning, Harry had something nagging in the back of his head, like he had something to do, but he doesn't know what. Whatever it was, he forgot, because by noon, Anne said it was time to set up her classroom.

Harry struggles a little to walk ⎼ and he's meant to be on his feet, so he knows it'll be hard. Not in a good way. After hanging up a couple of decorations, he has to sit down because of the burning in his thighs. Anne smiles softly, taking a seat beside him. "How's school been?" She asks curiously, but Harry knows there's some kind of motive behind her question. He huffs and scratches at his arm. "Boring."

Anne chuckles lightly. "And nothing new? No rumors or anything."

Harry's face closes. He's not at all stupid, and he can see through his mother like a mirror. "No, nothing new. If you're wondering, no one knows at the moment, but I'm sure Vanessa will run her mouth sooner or later." He murmurs. Anne frowns, reaching her hand out to touch his knee. "I know kids will be kids, but I don't want you to feel any shame. Sex is a normal thing. Your father and I didn't know about it until a week ago, but I'm not disappointed in you. I know your father can be a real knuckle head sometimes, but don't let his behavior affect you negatively. I'm here for you every step of the way, and as long as you're being responsible, there's nothing for you to worry yourself about. I can even buy you condoms if you want."

Harry's eyes widened.

Fuck, that's what he forgot! The fucking pill!

"Are you okay?" Anne questions after exceeding silence.

Harry blinks rapidly, trying to mask his panicked expression. "I'm fine. Let's get back to decorating."

When they return home, he all but sprints to his room for his computer. He asks Google if the pill would still work almost twenty four hours after having sex, and it says it's effective for six days, which is great. Because he won't be getting paid until Friday. That calms him down a little, but he's still worried, because he has such a high chance of getting pregnant. Harry sighs in relief and falls onto his bed, opting for a nap. Before he could close his eyes, his laptop dings, a notification from Skype popping up.

It was a call from Louis. Harry tip toes to his door and locks it, hurrying back to his laptop. He accepts Louis' call, smiling when his face pops up on the screen. "Hi."

"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm fine," Harry answers. "I forgot to take the pill, but Google said it'll still work."

Louis raises his eyebrows. "Oh, okay. Hey, if you thought hard enough it should work." He says.

Harry smiles. "You're right. Maybe I won't need to take it. I don't like pills, anyway."

Louis' mouth falls open. "That's not what I meant-"

"Harry!" Gemma shouts from outside his door. Harry groans irritably and interrupts Louis' speech. "I'll be back."

"But, Harry. I really think you should still be cautious." Louis tries but Harry's already away from his laptop. He cracks the door open and raises a questioning eyebrow at his older sister. "Dad wants us downstairs. It's one of those conversations." The younger boy sighs loudly. "Right now?"

"Yes, right now." Gemma replies impatiently. Harry glares at her before shutting the door in her face. He walks back to his desk, where Louis looks oddly mortified, but Harry doesn't have much time to question it because if he doesn't get down stairs soon; his entire door will be confiscated. "I have to go, Lou."

"But-"

"I'm really sorry, but I have to go." Harry interrupts quickly. He hangs up before hurrying down the stairs. He doesn't know what could possibly be his father's problem now. Though, he doesn't expect to nearly trample down the stairs at the sight of his boyfriend's briefs. Desmond smiles falsely at the sight of his son and dangles the clothing on his finger. "Does anyone mind telling me where these came from?"

Harry holds his breath and glances at his sister from the corner of his eye. Obviously, neither of them are going to snitch on each other, nor are they going to take the blame. When Desmond realizes he won't get a response, he sighs. "I've had many talks with you two. But it seems no matter what I do, you guys continue to deliberately disobey my rules." They continue to stare at him in silence, which only makes him more frustrated. "I'm putting you guys into Military school."

"What?!" Harry shrieks, the same time as Gemma screams "No!"

Desmond raises an eyebrow. "Oh, now you guys want to speak?"

"You can't do that! Where's mom?!" 

"I'm technically an adult!"

"She's at the store," Desmond responds to Harry's question. "And no you're not. You're only seventeen, but even then, you'll be under my custody. Say goodbye to your friends, because you are being enrolled into the school." He declares. 

Harry scoffs in disbelief. Their father has always been tyrannical but Military school is beyond any of the punishments he's given them. He has lost his lasting mind if he thinks they're going to that damn academy without putting up a fight. The teenager childishly stamps his foot, as that's really all he can do without being brutally grounded and grumbles, loud in his throat, before stomping up the stairs. Gemma follows after another complaint. 

When the siblings are in the hallway, far from the staircase, Gemma discusses. "You need to own up to that underwear being Louis'." She says in a hushed voice. 

Harry furrows his eyebrows. "Why does it have to be Louis'. It could have been Matthew's, or Evan. How many guys are you seeing again?"

Gemma rolls her eyes. "Don't try it. None of my boyfriends are small like yours."

"You take that back." Harry seethes.

"Make me."

"I'll tell Dad about that time in Spring."

"I'll tell them about that field trip to the parking lot." Gemma retorts. 

Harry narrows his eyes at her, but he knows there's no point in arguing any longer. He folds his arms over his chest stubbornly and responds. "Well, I'm not saying anything. So, I guess we're doing Military school."

"Fine, you loony bin. Just know it's your fault that we're being put into this stupid shit."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The Styles children did not think Desmond was serious when he made the threat of Military school. They suspected that he was half-assed when he said he would register then for hell. They did not expect to be woken up a week later at five in the morning, his bellowing voice shouting for them to get ready for their medical examination. Rushed to shower and brush their teeth, the two sat at the dining table with angry expressions as Anne served them breakfast. 

"I can't believe you're letting this lunatic do this." Harry says, stabbing through his crepe. 

Anne scolds her son softly. "Don't call your father that, please. And it won't be so bad. I think this will be a good experience for you two."

"Mom, we do not want to go to Military school. We have friends, and passions, and a life. Just because Dad didn't have one, doesn't mean we have to go down the same path." The boy argues. 

"Look, you weren't so easy yourself. The both of you. Your dad is right about you needing some discipline. I'm tired of being 'the good cop,' because honestly, you don't listen. This is a good thing for you. Now, finish your breakfast." Anne tells him, pouring a glass of orange juice for him. 

Routine checks are typically quick, but ever since Harry was thirteen he's had different examinations done. His pediatrician explained to him that because he's a career, he has different organs from most males — meaning his exams were a little bit different and longer. To this day, he still doesn't quite understand his body. It explains why he doesn't understand all the questions Doctor Pathapadu asks him. 

His parents weren't allowed into the room with him, leaving him to try and answer them himself. "How long have you experienced bloating?" She questions, lightly pushing on his stomach. Harry lets out a breathless sigh, lying awkwardly on the examination table. "I-I don't know. I didn't really notice it." He responds. 

Doctor Pathapadu hums vaguely, her face twisted in thought. She then pulls away and tugs off her gloves. "I'm going to do a pelvic exam." 

Harry frowns disappointedly. The woman notices his expression and stares it him softly. "I know those are uncomfortable, but I'm just making sure everything's healthy. It'll be very quick." She says. 

The patient has no choice but to nod. 

It's not like he hasn't stuck his fingers up his ass before. That's no problem. It's just highly uncomfortable having a doctor — no matter if it's a man or woman — exploring your ass for an extended period of time with no pleasure behind it. He loves his doctor, she's a very kind woman, but the pelvic exams were his least favorite thing in the world. Not even throat culture beat it. 

Doctor Pathapadu instructs him to get off the table so they could move to a different chair, where he inclines, feet on stirrups. She puts on a new pair of gloves and grabs the speculum. Everything's uncomfortable, so he tries to relax and think of something to distract himself while she feels around. 

Eventually, the exam ends, but his doctor still looks thoughtful. "Harry, are you sexually active?"

Harry's cheeks flush at the unexpected question. He hesitates on his response, his tongue feeling heavy as he responds. "I am."

Again, she looks thoughtful. "I'm going to do a urine test."

Jesus, how many tests would they do in one day?

Of course, Harry doesn't voice his complaint and simply allows Doctor Pathapadu to continue her examinations. He bets his dad is wondering what's taking so long, but that's what he gets for being so arrogant. 

The urine test doesn't take long, and he's eventually allowed in the waiting room with his sister and father. In a turn of events, Doctor Pathapadu takes them to a reserved area to have a conversation. "Harry doesn't qualify for the academy." She says. 

A triumphant smile grows on Harry's lips at the news and Gemma's mouth falls open. Desmond arches an eyebrow, rebuffed by the information. "What do you mean he doesn't qualify?"

"Your son is pregnant, Mr. Styles."

"Oh, fuck."

Chapter Text

Harry exits the bathroom and grabs his robe from the towel holder. He wraps it around his body and falls onto the bed in utter exhaustion. The morning has only just begun and his bones feel like jelly. And here Louis is, spending an hour worth of the shower bill and walking freely in the bedroom with no limp whatsoever. "Are you seriously not tired?" Harry questions, propping himself on his elbows. "No. I should probably use the Viagra everyday." Louis says in a lack of context, drying his face.

"What'd you do?" Harry asks incredulously.

Louis furrows his eyebrows. "What's the matter?"

"What's the matter? You just took a Viagra to have sex with me." Harry answers in disbelief. Louis frowns, realizing that it might of sounded wrong. "Harry, come on," the younger man simply turns his head to the window with his jaw clenching. "Alright, I'll be honest with you. Lately, my dick hasn't been getting as hard as it used to, and it's kind of freaking me out. I don't know whether or not it's because I'm getting older, or if I'm losing testosterone-"

"No, it's because of what I told you. Your artery to your heart is clogged because you eat so much junk food, and you have high cholesterol, and that is directly related to your penis vein." Harry interrupts, pointing like he knows what he's talking about.

"Where'd you get my penis vein?" Louis asks.

"There was a whole Doctor Oz about it." Harry says.

Louis scoffs. "Cholesterol is not clogging my penis vein. Maybe I can't get a hard on fully because, you know, I keep my phone in my front pocket and it's radiating my balls. So I'll give you that, that makes sense. I just thought it'd make it feel better- it was better. I thought you'd think it would be fun to super size it for once."

Harry closes his eyes in tranquility. He sometimes forgot how witty Louis could be. "I don't want a vasodilator penis. I like your penis."

Louis raises his eyebrows and unravels the towel from around his waist, holding it open temptingly. "Look at this. Do you want that to go to waste?" Harry huffs, folding his arms in front of his chest. "Okay.. I'll do it for ten minutes, but you have to figure out what to do with the other four hours."

Today is the eldest twins' fifteenth birthday. Since they're in high school, it's expected that they'll want to have a big chaotic party - but the girls still have some agreements to make for it. While Harry and some of the children helped decorate the house, it was Louis' job to wake them up. He cracks the door open and sees that Alice is still under her blankets slumped, snoring loudly. Louis walks quietly into the room and first pokes her, using simple tactics to wake her up. When that doesn't work, he bothers her awake, which is always the funnest route.

He breathes on her face and that's when she finally stirs, pushing his head away. "Dad." She grumbles.

"Good morning, birthday girl."

"Your breath is bloody hot." Alice complains, hiding her face in her pillows. Louis smiles triumphantly and shakes her body. "I'll make it even hotter if you don't wake up."

With one awake, he goes to Claire's room next, who happens to already be awake, watching something on her iPad. "How many episodes of Law & Order have you watched?" He questions.

"Forty, but I only have eight more and I'll be done." Claire responds, keeping her eyes glued to the screen. "You can't complete one hundred episodes in a day," Louis says. "And you won't have the opportunity to, because it's your birthday."

Claire tilts her head, finally looking up. "And since it's my birthday, I should be allowed to do what I want."

"Not while your mom and siblings are working very hard for you to have a good birthday. Now, get up." Louis says. Claire sighs and drops the iPad on her bed.

Downstairs, Harry holds Allison on his hip as she adds the final candle to Alice and Claire's cake. Harry cheers softly for her and raises his hand for a high-five, before handing her to Eileen so he could put the cake in the fridge. Eileen sighs loudly, adjusting her sister in her arms. "I remember when I turned fifteen. Dad told me if I ever thought about having a boyfriend he'd dress him up as lettuce and feed him to snails."

Harry looks at her oddly and she shrugs. "He's your husband." The steps creek, a warning that the twins were coming and he swears under his breath. "Junior, put the birthday hat on." He scolds.

"It looks stupid." Harry gives him a warning look and he groans, putting it on his head. Next, he grabs Clifford and Beans, who are dressed in bedazzled costumes that say Happy Birthday, custom made by Eileen. When Claire and Alice make it to the foot of the steps, everyone blows into their kazoos. "Happy Birthday!"

"Thank you." Claire says. Alice nods wordlessly, her way of appreciating them as she's still waking up. Avery grins and skips to them, holding his hands behind his back. "I made a present for you." He tells them.

"Oh, really?" Claire replies, smiling widely. She elbows Alice and the girl glares at her before softening her expression when she looks at Avery. "Really, Ave?"

Avery hands Alice the piece of paper and she squints her eyes. Claire leans over her shoulder, and too, attempts to understand what the hell the boy drew. All she can make out are the red scribbles on the paper. Thankfully, Avery answers their question for them. "It's a dog, and he got ran over, and there's flowers that are on fire and made a ring. And a pregnant lamb."

Alice's lips part and Harry laughs, grabbing Avery. "That's a very nice drawing." He lies. He narrows his eyes at the girls and they speak simultaneously. "Thank you so much, Avery. It's beautiful." "Yeah, I'm totally not freaked."

When everyone has received their plates, and most of the youngest kids have finished and ran off, Harry stands across from Alice and Claire as they eat their breakfast. "So, what do you guys plan on doing for your birthday?"

"I'm fine with a party here." Claire says.

"Jalayah's having a quince." Alice mentions, eating a portion of her pancake.

Claire arches an eyebrow, glancing at her sister. "Don't tell me you want to skip your own birthday to go to a quince."

"I want to go to as many as I can this year." Alice defends.

"You are so selfish. You only go to these parties for you. You don't even know these people!"

"Alright, girls." Harry interrupts before they can blow up into an argument. Claire rolls her eyes. "You know it's true. Tell me you won't let her go to Jalayah's stupid quince."

Harry sighs. "First, it's not stupid. That's a very rude thing to say. Second, I gave you guys two weeks to figure out what you were going to do for your birthday. Why are you guys still arguing?" He questions exasperatedly.

"Because Alice thinks about herself and only herself."

"Go to hell." Alice snaps.

"What did I just say!" Harry exclaims. The girls quiet down and he exhales slowly, calming himself before he speaks. "No one is threatening anybody as long as you're under this roof. The birthday party will be next weekend, anyway. We have a long time to plan." He says.

Claire glares at her sister. "Hopefully little miss nightmare will have it figured out by then."

Alice simply throws a piece of bacon at her.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Audrey walks into the living room, dragging her American Girl Doll along with her. She pouts her bottom lip as she stops between Harry's legs - eyebrows drawn in concern. "Mommy, where do you go when you die?" She asks. Harry furrows his eyebrows at the question and pulls the girl onto his lap. "What made you ask that?"

"Avery said that you lose your soul when you die. I don't want to lose my soul." She cries, fisting her mother's shirt. Harry frowns in confusion as he holds his daughter, faintly rubbing her back in comfort. For the last couple of days, he's noticed Avery has taken the.. creepier route. At first, he suspected it was just one of those weird phases children have but now he's afraid the situation is much more serious.

"Don't worry about what your brother said. You're safe here." He tells her, rocking her in his arms. When Audrey calms down and runs off to give her doll a bath, Harry walks inside the triplets room. Adeline has gone off to help Louis trim the leaves in the garden, leaving Avery alone in the bedroom. He finds the boy lying on his stomach, the table Anne bought him in hand, his little feet swinging up and down.

Harry knocks on the door to grab the boy's attention and he smiles softly. "Hey, Ave."

"Hi, mommy!"

"What're you up to?" Harry questions, taking a seat beside him on the bed. The comforter dips beneath his bum and Avery tosses his iPad aside, crawling toward his mom. "Nothin'." He says, taking the opportunity to cuddle. He smooches his cheek against Harry's and the man chuckles, securely holding his waist.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." He prompts.

"Uh-oh. Am I in trouble?" Avery asks.

Harry laughs, pulling away. "Do I have my trouble face on?"

"Kinda."

Harry sighs softly and adjusts Avery on his lap. "Des told me that you said something about dying." He mentions.

Avery worries his bottom lip, but he doesn't look anxious. He shakes his head a beat later, and affirms. "I did."

"Can you tell me where you heard that from?"

Avery grins widely and scrambles off of his mother's lap. He reaches for his tablet and taps on it a few times before showing him the screen. It looks like an animation of Super Mario, starting off with Mario and Luigi in the Mushroom Kingdom. Only a second later, Luigi starts banging Mario's head into concrete with an obsessive amount of blood spraying. Harry's mouth falls open and Avery bursts into laughter, falling back.

Harry pauses the video and Avery somehow notices without even looking. "No, mommy, you have to finish!"

"I don't think so.." Harry says, placing the tablet beside him. God, he knew this was coming the moment Anne bought tablets for everyone. And no, it isn't because he didn't get electronics until he was fifteen, but still⎼ where was that energy when he was younger?

Electronics aren't some creation that rot children's brains, he isn't one of those parents, but he also knows that there are barely any restrictions on the internet and he should have known better than to not get them YouTube Kids or something. He wasn't going to be visibly upset, because he didn't want Avery to think it was his fault.

Harry urges Avery back into his arms and turns the boy so he's facing him. He stares at him seriously, but he's careful to look non-intimidating. "Ave, I don't want you watching videos like that," Avery opens his mouth to protest but Harry hushes him. "Hear me out. That was very violent, and I'm sure you've learned in school that, that's not good. That's very harmful, and there's a lot of things on the internet that are not meant for your eyes. I need you to be careful about what you watch. Your imagination is a wonderful thing, but I don't want you to see things like that."

Avery pouts, but he nods in understanding. "I'm sorry, mommy."

"It's okay, just make sure you ask me or daddy before watching anything, okay?" Harry says, pinching his cheek.

"Okay." Avery says sheepishly, cuddling closer to his mom. Harry plants a kiss on his head and holds him close. "I love you, Ave. Let's stick to watching cartoons, alright?"

"I love you too, mommy. And okay."

Harry tells Avery that he'll be taking his tablet for a little, promising that it wasn't a punishment. He just needs to figure out how to put a damn monitor on this thing. He had gone through Avery's search history and found more of those Super Mario videos, and all he asks is, what the hell was the creator thinking?

Harry leaves the room with his head buried in the tablet, his eyes trained to the screen. He bumps into a body on his way out and Junior stands stoically. "You always say to the phone's not going anywhere, so." The teenager braces himself to say what he's been dreaming of saying ever since he was a child, but his moment is ruined when Harry simply walks past him.

"Hey, I wasn't done!" Junior complains.

"Go harass someone else, there's fourteen people in this house." Harry shouts back.

Junior sighs exasperatedly and throws himself on the couch. He hasn't been doing so well with his love life. He's a very attractive boy, he knows that, I mean, look at his parents; but he has unfortunately been struggling to find a date for the upcoming prom. Deseane won't talk to him and Davi won't even look at him anymore. It's like he's losing his game.

Louis comes through the back door with the pure intention of watching TV after having to deal with Adeline's shenanigans, but he finds Junior on the couch instead, with that expression on his face that tells him, he's up to something. "Hey, son, what're you doing?"

"Trying to get a date for the dance." He mumbles, putting the phone down.

"Let me see your technique."

Junior grumbles. "I'd rather not."

"I can already guess what you're saying, and I'll tell you right now, it will not work. See, you can't ask a normal person out with corny pick up lines, you have to flatter them. Start off steady with compliments and when they say 'really?' in that flattered and amazed tone, that opens the door to yes." Louis explains.

Junior smiles. "Thanks, Dad."

Louis nods in acknowledgement as he hears the steps creak, facing Eileen and her friend. "You know what, you can start by practicing your technique on some of the women in this house." Junior frowns at the thought of being nice to his sister, but he skids to her anyway, throwing on a bashful smile. "Hey Eileen, you certainly look healthy today-"

"Die."

Junior almost sits back down in defeat, but Louis points to her friend. "Evelyn, have you lost weight?"Junior rushes asks.

"You think so?" She asks in surprised.

"Oh I know so. You look good- and did you do something with your ears?"

Evelyn smiles. "I'm wearing earrings." She replies in an offering tone. Eileen grabs her arm while staring at him suspiciously, urging her to the kitchen. "Come on, let's go."

"See, you almost got a really. Now keep practicing." Louis says.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry takes the girls shopping on Thursday. Claire and Alice's party would be on Saturday, meaning he would spend all of Friday decorating the house and wrapping their presents, even if they've already gotten some last week. There's no harm in spoiling his children, excluding Junior because he's a party-pooper. (And he's also suffering an ego burn after being rejected by Davi.)

Harry's used to the affronted stares when he comes inside the store with eleven kids trailing behind him. Hell, it's hard enough keeping track of them at home. That's why he only takes them all out if it's a special occasion, and of course, his eldest twins' fifteenth birthday is important. Harry ensures that everyone's with him, counting them all the moment they enter Target. Allison and Faith are in the child seat of the cart and Avery already called dibs on sitting in the basket.

It was the oldest three's job to have at least one multiple's hand and the rest would have to hold onto Harry's pant leg. It's one hell of a job, but it helps him keep track. "Nothing over $20." Harry tells Eileen pointedly. The girl cheekily grins and shakes her head, tightly squeezing onto Adeline's hand. "I know the rules, mom. Right?" She asks Adeline.

Adeline jerkily nods, pumped up on the matcha latte Harry let her try. Harry stares at her for a moment longer before looking at everyone. "We'll meet at Pizza Hut in an hour. Only grab birthday things, I'm not buying anything extra this time." He says. They all know it's a lie, but they nod like always, just to make him feel like he has authority.

When Harry smiles proudly, they leave in a swarm, ready to flock Target. Harry turns around to face his youngest children, grinning happily. "Looks like it's just us three."

"And me."

Harry reverses and Claire presses her lips together, waving awkwardly. "Shouldn't you have a child with you?" He quizzes.

"Alice got them. I don't... I don't want anything specific." She admits.

Harry frowns. "That can't be. There has to be something you want. You know, I'm going to end up spending at least $15,000, maybe more. You don't have to worry."

"It's not that." Claire says. "It's not even important. I'm just going to stay with you."

Harry studies her suspiciously, but it's not like he's going to say she can't shop with him. He shrugs and starts to push the cart. "All right. I'm warning you now, this is going to be boring."

"Hey, we're not boring!" Faith interrupts, folding her arms dramatically. Harry smiles softly and kisses her nose. "You're right, I'm sorry."

Claire smiles, but it looks like it hurts. Harry doesn't know whether he should return the gesture or run away. He continues to push the cart down the aisle, listening to the chaos his youngest three make. One second Faith and Allison are singing Super Why, Avery's pointing out every toy on the damn shelf, then the next Faith accidentally bumps Allison and gets her hair tugged in retaliation and Avery has peed in the cart.

Harry parks the trolley in front of the restroom and lifts Avery out, holding a distance between them. "You know what to do." He tells Claire.

Harry waits outside of Avery's stall while a song plays from the intercom. Somehow, the five year old knows Starships word for word, and he sings it as he changes into his swap of clothes. Eventually, the toilet flushes and Avery comes out of the small, smiling widely. "All done!"

"Not quite. I think you forgot something." Harry says knowingly.

Avery's lips turn and he thinks for a moment before he gasps. "Oh, I remember!" He rushes to the sink and Harry shakes his head proudly, waiting for the boy to finish. After he washes the germs off, Harry takes his hand and leaves the bathroom. The cart's still there, like it's supposed to be, but Claire seems to be using it as some sort of hiding spot.

"What are you doing down there, Claire?" Allison loudly asks, clearly not reading the room.

Claire scrambles to hold a finger over her lips, looking crazy as she hushes her little sister. "Shh!"

"Honey, what're you doing down there?" Harry questions. Claire looks as if she's seen a ghost when the older man stands above her and she cowers further into the wall, using the cart as a shield. "Mom, I swear. Just do me one favor and do not mention my name."

Harry cocks an eyebrow and observes the area, searching for what Claire must be hiding from. He feels a sharp tug on his arm. "Mom! Enough!" A smile spreads on his lips and he kneels in front of her, amused. "Are you hiding from someone, Claire? Oh, is that someone Margo's daughter? Bernice-"

"No! And who named her that?"

"Claire, that's not a nice thing to say." Harry starts to scold her, but he's abruptly cut off when Claire yelps, promptly shutting him up. "If I tell you who it is, will you please, just keep it down."

Harry puts his hands on his hips. "Well, I'm sure whoever this is won't mind seeing you here, but fine."

Claire sighs in relief and slowly stands from the ground. "It's Dylan." She admits, hanging her head in shame. Harry scrapes his head, trying to remember the name until two words light up like a light bulb. Bar Mitzvah. "Oh my god, I thought Alice was going to end up having a crush on him."

"Oh, god no; that's exactly what she would say." Claire deadpans.

Harry purses his lips. "You're right. But why're you hiding from him? I thought he was.. well... he was a 'loser'?" He questions, putting up quotations to put it nicely. Claire rolls her eyes. "You're just listening to what Alice has said about him. He's not that bad, and he's cute. You know, last week-"

"Isn't that him right there?" Claire ducks down and Harry shakes his head, gently grabbing her by the shoulders to pry her to her feet. "You're not being so subtle when you're freaking out like that."

Claire groans, hiding her face. "You're right. I'm acting like a lunatic, aren't I?"

"Just a tad." Harry admits. "Hm, how about this, we can spy on him through the shelves."

Claire squints her eyes. "Isn't that creepy?"

"It's not like you haven't been consecutively checking his schedule on the school's course page. You know, I'm getting internet smart by the day." Harry mentions. Claire's cheeks redden and he chuckles, putting Avery back in the cart. "Come on, I know the perfect spot."

Harry remembers the spot as clear as day. Just an inch away from the holiday cards and diagonal from Pizza Hut, there's a gap between the wedding gifts where you can clearly see whoever you're watching without being caught. Harry may or may not know this because he used to spy on Louis in ninth grade, before they had a class together.

Harry parks the cart in front of the book shelf and bends down so he can test the view himself and he smiles proudly. "Yup. Just as I remember."

"What do you mean?" Claire asks.

Harry sighs dreamily. "Well, there was a time where I used to spy on your father."

"You guys had stores?"

"Yes, girl. How old do you think I am?" Harry shakes his head. "Anyway. Back in high school, when I was starting my freshman year, I went to your Aunt Gemma's open house and there he was, in her culinary class. Obviously, that wasn't going to be the last he saw of me. I said I'd go to the bathroom, and I instead wandered the school, finding out each class he had that year. Then, during lunch breaks, I'd go to the culinary class and pretend that I needed to give Gemma something just to see his face. Eventually, the teacher caught on but I obviously couldn't be stopped. His English class would have the opportunity to go to the library every Wednesday and he'd go just to get out of class, so I'd ask to go to the nurse just to visit the library. I would also go down the same staircase as him every day."

Claire gapes. "You're worse than me."

"I was a boy with dreams." Harry defends. He crouches down to look through the shelf beside Claire and frowns. "Hm, where'd he go?"

"Claire?"

That did not come from either of them. Claire slowly turns around and flinches when she sees Dylan standing in front of her. "Hey, are you guys looking for something?"

"Oh, no," Claire awkwardly says. "We were just... we were just looking out for my other sisters."

Dylan nods in understanding. "Is Alice here?"

"Somewhere." Claire shortly answers.

"Oh, for a second I thought you were looking at me." Dylan laughs.

Maybe he wasn't as secretive as he thought.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Alice and Claire sit on the couch as they accept their presents to kick-start their celebration. It's tradition for them to gather around while the birthday person opens their gifts, but Alice, being the narcissist she is, wanted to accept her gifts with a crown on her head and seats specifically reserved for her and her sister. "I told you, this is the perfect idea," Alice whispers in her twin's ear. "Look at those weeping faces." She comments delinquently, referring to her younger siblings, who are visibly jealous. 

Claire finds herself smiling a little, quick to cover it. "You're so mean." 

"What can I say? It's my revenge. See, even Junior's jealous." Alice points out. 

"That's because he's a child." 

Alice can't even disagree. The last to deliver their present should be Eileen, and they've been waiting a while for the girl. Even Faith is starting to nod off on the carpet. When Alice is starting to think she must have snuck out to avoid getting a present, Eileen walks into the room with a small Dachshund puppy trailing behind her. 

All of the kids start to coo and Claire raises her eyebrows. "They let you buy that?" 

"Hell no." Louis answers, earning a jab in the side. Eileen promptly ignores his comment and lifts the puppy off the ground to present it to her sisters. "This is Squirrely Temple." She introduces in a 'cute' voice. 

Alice shakes her head. "You are not naming our dog that." 

"That's too bad. But brace yourselves, this is not the rest. She also comes with a birthday song." Eileen enthuses, smiling proudly when her younger siblings cheer behind her. She places the dog on the floor so she can press the button that connects to the little radio around Squirrely's collar and music starts to play. 

Harry quirks an eyebrow when nothing plays until an abrupt, very loud, and very unforgiving voice says. 

'Smack my ass like a drum.'

Harry can't even reach to cover the little ones' ears and Eileen's eyes widen, quickly turning off the song. "Oop. Wrong song." 

Alice laughs so hard that she hunches over, clutching her stomach and tipping her crown off. Eileen is saved from any scolding when the doorbell rings. Harry stands from the floor to answer it, expecting it to be one of the twins' classmates but instead finds Evan. The boy thrusts a bouquet out of the three in his hands, smiling widely. "Good evening, Mr. Tomlinson⎯Harry, hi. Here's for you and the girls." He greets. 

Harry smiles. "Thank you, Evan. We're all in the living room." He tells him and beckons for the boy to follow him. Evan steps into the room and raises his eyebrows. "It looks like an inauguration in here."

"It is. Eileen just played us a beautiful hymn." Alice remarks sarcastically. Evan offers the flowers to the girls, completely oblivious to what had happened moments earlier, and it's likely best it stays that way. 

The party bleeds into night, when the real guests arrive. Harry surprises the twins by allowing them to be the first to have one inside of the shed. He secretly decorated the shack, not even Louis knew he planned on letting them have the party in there. He puts Eileen on chaperone duty while he spends the rest of the night in bed with Louis. 

It feels nice to finally be able to seduce his husband without any interruptions. Harry hovers over Louis' lap, loosely holding his silk robe closed. His lips linger on Louis' and he smiles when the man groans in frustration as he keeps teasing him, never letting them actually kiss. Louis' hands grip his hips tightly, his nails digging into the sheer fabric of his robe. "Baby, if you keep taking forever, you're going to jinx it." 

Harry grins, his dimples popping. "I think you're just trying to rush me."

"No, I'm being generous. Time is precious." Louis says. 

The younger man tilts his head, still amused. "Or are you just trying to take advantage of me?" He feels Louis' tent beneath him and he laughs under his breath, connecting their lips. Louis' hands explore his backside and he opens his mouth, forcing his tongue into Harry's. Harry moans softly and starts to gyrate his hips atop of his husband, reaching up to start undoing the flaps of his robe, but Louis slaps them away. 

"I deserve to see what you've been hiding so hard." Louis murmurs against his lips. Harry smirks and flutters his eyes open, admiring the dark hue Louis' eyes have taken. Louis' calloused fingers undo the tie to his garment until it slips down his shoulders and pool at his waist, revealing the pink chemise he wore. It was thin and translucent, barely giving any privacy to Harry's body. His milky skin peeked from beneath the nightgown, the color and contrast highlighting his beauty. 

Louis slid his fingers down the dip of Harry's spine until he spread his hands along the man's ass, holding it firmly. "Is this what you went shopping for the other day?" 

Harry plants a chaste kiss. "Possibly." He starts pecking Louis' neck, dragging his lips along his lover's jaw until he reaches his mouth again. "I want to feel you deep tonight."

"Yeah?"

Harry nods and starts to move his hips again. "Mhm, no condom." 

Louis almost sits up at that but Harry forcefully pushes him down by the shoulders, narrowing his eyes in disapproval. Louis breathlessly laughs in surprise, reaching up to touch his hands. "Are you trying for-"

"No," Harry says. "I don't want to use a condom. I want to feel you." 

Louis pulls his lip beneath his teeth and clears his throat. "All right." 

Harry raises himself on his knees and pulls down Louis' briefs, letting his dick slip out. The grasps it in a firm grip, beginning to flick his wrists until he remembers something. "Lou, I have a question." Louis' hips raise off the bed to follow his hand, groaning in frustration. "Can't that wait?" 

Harry thinks about it for a moment before laying on his stomach, giving kitten licks to Louis' tip. He salivates the taste on his tongue, drooling over the penis before swallowing him whole. Louis' moan encourages him to lower his head, relaxing his throat so he can get all of Louis' cock in his mouth. He wraps his hand around the base to hold it steadily, languidly bobbing his head. For a second, all he can think about is the cock filling his mouth, but then he keeps thinking about his question. 

He pulls off with a pop. "It's really serious." 

"Is it about the kids?" 

"No." 

Louis' fingers curled in his hair, urging him back down. "Then you can finish." 

Harry darts his tongue out to lick the underside of his husband's cock, feeling the veins beneath. He loves that texture and it eggs him on. He wraps his lips around the head and ducks back down, tightening his lips to create a wet suction. Louis bucks into his mouth, furthering himself down Harry's throat and he moans. He grabs Louis' hand and urges him to hold his head and guide him. When Louis catches on, he holds a wide grin, holding the man's curls in a tight fist. He directs him back to his cock, watching as Harry opens his mouth obediently, allowing his mouth to be filled. 

Louis sets the pace that makes his balls draw, rolling his eyes behind his lids as he fucks into Harry's wet heat, loving the choking sound that echoes through the room. Harry's body all but vibrates, finding pleasure in the way he can't breathe, how his mind feels heady as he loses oxygen. 

Finally, Louis can't hold back any longer and he releases into Harry's mouth, the feeling of pleasure washing over him. Harry swallows it all, gulping down the thick substance until there's nothing left. He pulls off, satisfied and cups Louis' cheeks. "Now can I ask my question?" 

Louis blinks dazedly, shaking his head. "Yes, baby, what did you want to ask?" 

"Well, there was a time in high school when I used to watch you." Harry admits, curling under his arms. He absently strokes Louis in his hand to rile him up again, waiting for a response. When he squeezes him in a vise grip, Louis gasps. "Yeah, I do." 

"I used to watch you in Target and-"

"I know." 

Harry cocks an eyebrow. "You know?"

"Yeah, it's impossible to not notice your eyes staring intensely at you through the shelves." Louis mentions casually.

Harry's face grows hot. "Are you kidding me?" 

"Yeah. I didn't know who you were at the moment, all I knew were those damn eyes. No wonder that's my favorite thing about you." Louis says fondly, pinching Harry's cheek between his fingers. Only, this is not the time to be sappy. Harry slaps his hand away and sits up, releasing Louis from the previous grip he had, making the man groan. 

"Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is? I thought I was so smart about that."

Louis snorts. "Clearly not." 

"Shut up." Harry huffs, punching the older man's thigh. Louis doubles over, only to surprise him by yanking his arm until he topples over him. Harry laughs when he falls on top of him, his cheeks flushing. "Are you crazy?" 

Louis nibbles at his jaw. "I should call you the crazy one, Mr. No Condom." 

"You won't be complaining once you're inside of me." Harry argues. 

"I can't exactly disagree with that."

Chapter Text

Harry was completely right about Louis' mother reacting differently towards situations compared to his father. Starting from the beginning, Harry had no control over telling his father himself. Hell, he didn't even know he was pregnant until his doctor said so. He still shivers when he remembers his father's reaction. The silence in the room was so overwhelming that the hairs on his neck rose. Then, Desmond just thanked Doctor Pathapadu, but Harry knew it wasn't over. 

He tried to take practically everything from the boy. Confiscated his computer, unplugged the TV, threatened to take away his door. The man was reeking havoc and Anne hadn't even returned from home yet. Gemma managed to at least calm him down by reminding him that he still had Louis to strangle. 

Anne came back home and Desmond didn't waste a second to tell her the news. The poor woman had barely made it through the door before she dropped her work bag and glared at her son. He knew she was disappointed. She had even given him advice and treated him fairly after the incident behind the bleachers, and he turned around and got pregnant. 

He felt terrible knowing this, but Anne ended up having the opposite reaction he expected. He knew she was still upset, but she embraced him in a warm hug, expressing her support. It was obvious that she was on her son's side, therefore his father had no other choice than to cooperate. 

That week wasn't easy. His father kept urging him to go to the Tomlinson's house, and he knew it was mainly because Desmond wanted to hurt Louis. After Louis began to complain about how long it had been since they hung out, Harry finally went. He forbade his father from accompanying him and took on the difficult announcement himself. 

It was extremely hard to get the words out, sitting in the living room in front of Louis and Jay's similar faces. Jay has a yellow smile, bouncing on the couch and clapping her hands. Harry didn't expect her to be so excited, but then again, she was nothing like his parents. She continues to squeal before turning to her son, noticing his silence. "Louis, come on! How do you feel?" 

Harry stares at him expectantly and swallows when Louis remains quiet. He fears for the worse- that Louis will break up with him and refuse to speak to him ever again. Except, as Jay shakes his shoulder vigorously while expressing her delight, Louis' head falls back and he sojourns motionlessly. "Hey?" Jay questions hesitantly and slaps his face. 

"Did he just pass out?" Harry asks, standing from the couch. 

Jay sighs. "I think he did. I'll go get him some water."

Harry stays by Louis' side worryingly as the boy sits unconscious. When Jay returns, he expects the woman to give him a sip of water, but she instead dumps it on his face, making him gasp awake. Harry can't even help the guffawing laugh he lets out, immediately slapping his hand over his mouth after. 

"Ugh, mom!" Louis complains, shaking his hair dry. 

"I can't believe it! I'm going to love this story forever!" Jay exclaims humorously. 

Although there's light to the situation now, Harry still needs to know where Louis stands. He wipes the smile off his face and pushes Louis' shoulder to get his attention. "So? Passing out isn't going to be your easy way out." He says seriously. 

"I didn't do it on purpose." Louis frowns. "I don't know how to feel, Harry. Honestly."

Harry nods defeatedly and stares at his hands in his lap. Louis notices the solemnity in his expression and taps his thigh. "That doesn't mean anything bad. I just don't know how I feel. Just trust that whatever happens, I won't leave you alone. Ever. It's now my job to be a man, and be here for you and our baby."

Harry smiles at that and plants a kiss on his cheek. "Thanks."

PART ONE

Desmond eventually warmed up to Louis. He still didn't like the boy, for obvious reasons, but he deemed him bearable and somewhat right for his son. As for Harry, pregnancy was really kicking his ass in the later stages. In the beginning, it was a smooth sail. He had occasional morning sickness, which subsided only two months into it after Jay gave him some pills that supposedly helped, and his tastebuds felt like it had changed, but other than the little things, he overall felt alright. 

That was until he was eight months pregnant. His bump protruded out of every shirt he wore and his belly button looked paranormal. He had the usual insecurities about his body, which went away fairly quick when he ran into the mirror the other day and saw how big his ass got, however, he still didn't feel his best. He had terrible acid reflex and his breasts were becoming tender. Just the simple graze against his shirt hurt, and his nipple nearly came off when he tried to take his shirt off the other day. To make matters worse, his face was beginning to swell up and he was positive that there is no way Louis is still attracted to him. Who would be attracted to a hormonal and ugly sixteen year old like him? 

And to prove his theory, he woke up one morning in an already sour mood and Louis made it all worse when he started to groan into his pillow like a barbarian. Harry was only just waking up, but he was conscious and unable to fall back asleep because of the cramping in his pelvis and the urge to use the restroom. Except, he couldn't get out of the bed without help because of how big his stomach was. 

Well, he could get up by himself but he didn't feel like it and he likes it when Louis helps him. The sky is still dark, as the sun hasn't yet rose, a mazarine glow seeping through the blinds. If Harry wasn't in so much discomfort, he would have easily fallen back asleep just from the warming colors bu , he had to piss and Louis wouldn't stop fucking grunting.

"Aria."

Harry's eyes snap open and any traces of sleep are long gone. He just heard his boyfriend moan another woman's name. What the hell? Now he doesn't even want help to use the bathroom, he just wants to punch Louis' face, and that's exactly what he does. The punch is directed at his shoulder and before Louis can turn around after yelping in pain, he waddles out of the room. He doesn't care about how he forgot his slippers and now the frigid floorboards are touching his feet, or the fact that he's cold and walking through the house in a tank top that barely fits him anymore, let alone his tits — he just wants to get as far away from Louis as possible. 

He finds himself in the kitchen, searching for nothing in particular. He doesn't realize Gemma's been sitting at the breakfast bar the entire time until he lets out a scream of frustration and only then, does he notice her. Gemma cocks an eyebrow at him, nursing a steaming cup of coffee. "Are you alright?" 

"What the fuck does it look like to you?" He growls. 

"Woah, language there. I thought you said the baby can hear you." Gemma quips, putting her lips at the rim of the cup so she could swallow down a large portion. Harry scoffs, slamming a drawer just to slam it. "That doesn't matter anymore. Probably already heard his father moaning someone else's name." 

Gemma's mouth falls open and she lets out a disbelieving laugh. "Oh my god." 

"Don't fucking laugh at me!"

She covers her mouth quickly, but can't help the giggle that slips out. "I'm sorry," she stresses. She takes a moment to compose herself, letting out a deep exhale. "I'm sorry. Oh, you poor thing. Do you want a hug?" She offers, opening her arms. Harry glares at her like she's some turd on the side of the road before promptly ignoring her. "I don't want your hug. As you can see, I'm pissed. I feel like garbage for the past two weeks and what does he want to do? He wants to have a wet dream about somebody else. What a fucking sleaze." 

Gemma frowns, tilting her head. "Are you sure he said someone else's name?"

"I heard it loud and clear, Gemma. I was wide awake." Harry responds, angry that she would even insinuate that he heard something wrong. He places his hands on the counter and grips the the edge. "I just can't believe it. I'm carry his child, me. And he has the audacity to fuck me..."

"I did not need to know that." 

"...Then that same morning moan some other bitch's name. I should pour grits on his face!" 

Gemma sighs tiredly and strokes her temples. She doesn't have time for this, it's six in the morning and she's trying to do her college courses and is instead listening to her pregnant younger brother rant about sex. "Harry, I think you should calm down."

"I am calm!" 

His shout says he isn't, but Gemma doesn't voice that thought to avoid getting said grits poured on her face. She takes that exchange of silence to try and continue her essay, quickly stopping when she heard the floors creak, indicating that Louis was descending down the steps. She places her notebook down and crosses her legs, barely trying to be discreet as Louis walks into the kitchen.  

The eighteen year old greets her first, pressing a friendly kiss to her cheek before approaching his boyfriend. "How'd you sleep, love. You got up early." He mentions, observing him softly, like he was searching for any signs of damage, but emotionally, Harry was bruised. 

"I'm fine." Harry responds clipped, slamming one last drawer before pushing past the older boy. No good morning, no kiss, and no look in the eye. Louis frowns in confusion and glances at the pregnant teen's sister, and she offers no help, simply shrugging her shoulders. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓 ָ࣪ ₊˚

Throughout the day, Harry gives Louis the coldshoulder; much to Desmond's delight. Harry chooses to spend his morning with his mom, helping her cut out paper families for her elementary students and his evening watching soccer with his father. He doesn't give a damn about the sport, but he doesn't even want to breathe the same air as Louis. When he was using the iron for one of his gowns, it took a lot in him not to just throw it at Louis. He had to scold himself multiple times that it was a horrible idea. If he was crazy enough, he would have done it.

However, the hormones weren't getting to him in that field, it was fucking up his immune system. Anne was fixing ground turkey for dinner and just the scent of meat made him throw up. He was certain those were his only symptoms, though Gemma claimed there were more, like his "overreacting." 

He scoffs at the dialogue alone, he was not overreacting. He had the same reaction as anyone would have if their partner was having a dream about someone else. He was even being cordial enough to ignore Louis instead of saying something hurtful. Harry sits on the couch with his father, arms folded on his chest and bump, but mind elsewhere, surely not focused on the game. His father screams and shouts and he doesn't have a reaction. It's when Louis takes the spot next to him that he does, snapping his head so fast that it's a surprise his own neck didn't snap. 

Louis leans in, close to his ear, and whispers. His breath is hot, but the question isn't. It's a simple, "Are you okay?" But it boils his blood to an insane degree. Did he look fucking okay? Him watching soccer with his father should have been a sign to call Emergency Services. 

"I'm fine." 

"You haven't spoken to me all morning." Louis points out. Harry huffs loudly, keeping his eyes glued on the TV screen, although he wasn't processing any of the words announcers were saying. "I've been busy." 

Louis scoffs. "With what? This is a three bedroom house." 

Harry rolls his eyes and Louis suddenly grabs his knee, holding it tightly. "H, tell me what's going on. It's been almost an entire day and you haven't even looked at me. Are you going to give me the silent treatment for the rest of eternity?"

"I would rather forget you exist." Harry counters. 

"Ouch." 

Desmond snorts from his spot beside Harry and he can't even take it anymore. He sprouts up from the couch and stomps into the kitchen, where he assumes he'll be safe in. He was terribly wrong, Louis followed right behind him, complaining loudly. "Would you tell me what the hell is wrong? I know you may be a little... hormonal now," 

Harry erupts before he can even complete his sentence. "Don't you call me hormonal! I'm not fucking hormonal, and even if I was, nothing would compare to you, you fucking bastard!" 

Anne turns around from the stove, her expression mirror Louis'– lips parted and visibly appalled. "Okay, you are not about to do all that yelling in my kitchen." She scolds, raising the wooden spatula, and like a dog's snout, Harry picks up on the smell of raw meat and bile rushes up his throat. He can't make it to the bathroom in time, so he regrettably leans over the sink and throws up. 

Anne gasps. "Harry!"

Louis tries to stand behind him and pull his hair out of the way, but he does not want that bastard's hands on him. He slaps them away and they almost get into a cat fight until Louis decides to keep his hands away, holding them up in surrender. Anne watches the scene like she has double vision, revolted by her son's behavior. "What is the matter with you?"

Harry raises an accusatory finger, pointing it at his boyfriend. "He's the problem!"

"I don't even know what I did." Louis stresses, flicking his gaze between the identical looking people. Anne shakes her head in disapproval, wanting to sigh, but she knows that would only set Harry off further, so she decides to play into it. "What did he do?" She asks softly. 

Louis' mouth falls open in disbelief and she ignores it, focusing on her son. Harry looks relieved to finally be asked about his side of the story and he takes a deep inhale, narrowing his eyes at his boyfriend. "I woke up this morning to him moaning another girl's name." 

Anne wants to face-palm herself and Louis hopes the ground would just swallow him up. He's not embarrassed about a little wet dream, and he certainly didn't moan another girl's name, but he does not want his mother-in-law hearing about his sex life. To make matters worse, Harry doesn't seem to care about the oversharing, going on to continue. "I have been feeling horrible lately. I've got milk in my armpits, my belly button looks mutilated, and he wants to act like he enjoys having sex with me when the whole time, he's thinking about another girl. Aria."

Louis rubs his face down with his hands, frustrated. "I do not know an Aria." 

"Clearly you do, because she's in your dreams!"

"I swear I don't, Harry. You must have misheard something."

Harry's eyes widen– he almost looks crazy. "I know what I heard! I was wide awake, I didn't misunderstand jack. You are a scummy, crummy,"

"Okay, Harry. Maybe we should calm down on the insults." Anne suggests.

"Are you siding with him?!" 

"I think," Anne corrects. "That you possibly did mishear. To me, that sounds like a pour attempt to say Harry."

Harry scoffs. "No way." He claims, but there's a red hue of blush travelling up his neck that says otherwise. Had he been giving Louis shit this entire time, just to turn out wrong? No, he refused to be wrong. "I don't remember what I dreamed about," Louis speaks up. "but I'm positive my pants were not wet because of some mystery girl."

Harry suddenly feels like an asshole for calling Louis all those names. He's just horrible, isn't he? First he's ugly and now he's being rude about something that didn't even happen. His nose starts to sting and so do his eyes, it's hard to not notice or acknowledge that he's crying, and Louis can't be bothered enough to ignore him, no matter the level of accusations he made. "Come here, love." 

"I'm sorry." Harry cries, dropping his head on Louis' shirt. Louis cradles his head and speaks softly, comforting and forgiving. "It's okay. I'm not mad." 

"You should be. I-I called you scummy and crummy." 

Louis snorts. "I've been called worse names by my sisters, I think you're alright."

Harry giggles into his shirt and melts into the way Louis scratches his head. And yeah, it feels good, but he doesn't moan because of that. While his mom and Louis look at him like he's Samara Morgan, he clenches his eyes shut because of a dull pain in his abdomen. 

"Are you okay, honey?" Anne asks skeptically. 

"I don't feel good." Harry murmurs. Anne raises an eyebrow, but she doesn't have to question any further because fluid starts dripping down his pant leg and onto the floor. Louis frowns when it touches his toe. "Did you pee?"

Harry gasps in offense and before he can retort, Anne buds in. "You're starting labor, H."

"Holy shit."

✧˖°🌷𔘓 ָ࣪ ₊˚

Labor isn't like how it is in the movies. Harry expected to be rushed to the hospital, pumped up with drugs and cause some big chaotic scene, but that didn't happen. His mom reacted calmly—too calm in his opinion—and it kind of bummed him out when she told him none of the stuff he saw on film would happen. Except the labor, of course. It took two days until he actually went into labor, and that's when it got real. He felt the contractions to a painful degree, but he managed to push through it without much of a tear. He was relatively calm while Louis and his mom packed his hospital bag, sitting on the couch and eating a frozen yogurt pop. 

It was Louis who was the worst, he was the one freaking out as if he was the one about to push out a baby. And don't get him started on his father, who happened to be at the base around the time he went into labor. He had to listen to his father's anxieties on the way to the hospital, proclaiming reassuring words, although Harry's sure it was directing more towards himself than him. 

The hospital was twenty minutes away, and he surprisingly sat through it without more of a mere whimper. He was accepted into the birthing unit, thinking that he would give birth now, but the nurse told him he had to wait until he was ten centimeters dilated, which pissed him off.  All he could think about was why it was taking so damn long. Everything he saw on TV was total rubbish, having him think it would be a wham-bam sort of thing. He went through another twenty-four hours before he was fully dilated and the nurses were doing their job. 

Harry noticed somewhere through the gist that quite everyone was in the deliver room. He would have been embarrassed if he wasn't pushing an entire baby out of him. But he saw his mother, his father, and Louis all dressed in scrubs, which wasn't a big deal; he already knew they were going to be in the room with him. What he didn't understand was why Gemma, Niall, his mother's coworker, and Jay were in there, and how they were even allowed. Seven people in a compacted space and the staff somehow let them all in, he found that ridiculous. 

He eventually began crowning and Louis, being the moron he is, decided he was going to take a peak to see how the baby was doing and fainted. Only a second later, Desmond collapsed as well. 

Delivering the baby wasn't that hard, he barely experienced pain. It was more so, the frustration of trying to get a baby out. No one told him it would be this hard. Getting the head out happened to be the worst part, it took all of his strength to finally get it out and when he did, he was allowed to go pliant until the obstetrician gently coaxed the baby out. 

A moment later, a pierced cry filled the room and Harry let out a sigh of relief. He found on his chest, an unpleasant looking baby, but his baby. With pink skin covered in biofilm, and the beadiest doe eyes he has ever seen. Harry holds his baby as if he's made of glass, caressing his head carefully while he cries on his bare chest. In just little time, he's able to feel affection for his son before he's taken away to get the proper vaccinations and cleaned up. 

The room is silent for the time being, as Louis gets himself situated after his little sleeping spell; disoriented and embarrassed. Everything returns back to normal once Harry has their swaddled son on his chest, all tiny and asleep, the cutest thing Harry's ever seen. "Have we thought of any names?"

Harry admires his baby, completely satiated and exhausted. In future tense, he's totally going to regret ever doing this — but he's so in love right now, and his baby is so adorable, and looks exactly like the man he's in love with. "Louis." He states. 

Louis' lips part in shock and Anne cringes. "Honey, are you sure."

"I'm positive," he looks back at the midwife. "His name's Louis."

The woman grins. "That's a beautiful name." 

"I know." Harry responds triumphantly, blooming multiple tender kisses on his baby's face.  The midwife leaves them alone in the hospital room and Anne watches horrifically, face pulled in a grimace. "You're aware of what you just did?"

"Yes, mother. I named my baby what I wanted." Harry emphasizes, his sour attitude simmering when he focuses back on his son. Anne lets out a defeated sigh. "Okay." 

PART TWO

If Harry was in his right mind, he would have taken Anne's advice. He was so dazed and euphoric, following his head instead of his heart. Now, Louis isn't a terrible name, but it's going to be hard speaking about one or the other when they have the same name. That's why he concocted a different name. Usually, the default is Junior, but he thinks that's too harsh for a baby; so he goes for June instead. And it fits him, his baby is as bright Summer rays. His laughs are always gutful, coming from the stomach and joyous. Harry loves the innocence of a baby, how they'll give you thoughtless stares and drool all over their clothes and you. 

Junior's dimples are adorable, depressing whenever he moves his lips, adding to his charming little smile. He's a lively baby, giggling through the night when he's supposed to be asleep. He reminds Harry so much of Louis. He bets Junior will be just as sarcastic as his father when he grows older. 

He's a ripping six months old now, and being able to produce sounds, he's as talkative as can be, speaking in his own language. It seems Junior brings life to the house, with Desmond returning home in a brighter mood than he used to, a year prior. Everyone can't get enough in holding him whenever they return home, consistently demanding for the infant after a bad day. And Harry doesn't mind it much, he finds it sweet, and it gives him a lending hand whenever he wants to be alone, specifically, with his boyfriend. 

Louis is doing very well, too. He graduated after Summer rolled around, only two months after Junior was born. Now he was attending a community college for computer science. Harry called him a geek whenever he mentioned it, but he never hid the fact that he was proud of him. Especially because Louis still manages to spend as much time with Junior as possible, even after spending twelve hours at university. He's a great father, too. Harry's heart swells whenever he sees the two beside one another, because they look strikingly similar, it sometimes seems abnormal. 

As for Harry, he's honestly just enjoying life on 'bed rest.' He attends school online for the time being, he doesn't think he'll return until Junior's at least a year old and he has a job. Gemma offers to babysit him almost every two weeks, trying to encourage him to go back, but he always tells her otherwise. But that isn't the full story, he may or may not be going just because he doesn't want to do school alone and have to deal with ignorance. He has already seen the Facebook posts some classmates have made, which he prefers to not think about; but it's a setting reminder on why he should not go back. 

Besides, he's doing well for online school, he actually finds it much easier than the classroom. It's not like it's affecting his grades, his GPA is still the same. Plus, the benefit of doing schoolwork from home means more alone time, wink wink.

Harry practices his morning like any other. He wakes up just as Louis' getting ready for work and pretends to be asleep just so he can get a kiss on the head. When Louis leaves, Junior instantly starts wailing, pronto on his feeding schedule. He's a hungry baby, small in size but has a porky little pot belly. Harry spends twenty minutes feeding him, giving a turn on each breast, although Junior seems to favor the left one more. 

After, Junior usually falls right back asleep for another couple of minutes, so Harry will go downstairs and put him in the bassinet in the living room while he proceeds in the kitchen, pumping out the leftover milk for emergency bottles. It doesn't take long for him to do that, therefore he has about ten minutes alone to make himself some breakfast. 

By the time he's eating cereal at the breakfast bar, Gemma descends from the stairs, laptop in hand and prepared to do schoolwork. Harry greets her with a smile, scooping some cereal in his mouth. He isn't the most gracious in the morning, curls disarrayed and sleep lines littering the apples of his cheeks. His older sister doesn't give him much of a glance as she moves robotically, placing her laptop on the counter and going into the cabinets to get their bag of ground coffee.

The younger boy pouts his lip after being blatantly ignored until eventually, she wishes him good morning. She's focused on turning the coffee machine on and grabbing a single orange from the fridge, accidentally knocking over a bottle of breastmilk. "Fuck, I'm sorry, H." She mutters, hastily wiping it down with the front of her shirt. Harry laughs under his breath, collecting milk with his spoon. "Why're you in such a rush?"

"Because I woke up late." Gemma responds in an obvious tone, peeling her orange open with force. 

Harry cocks an eyebrow. "Why'd you wake up late? You go to bed at the same time, just about every night." 

Gemma rolls her eyes and lets out an unfriendly scoff, rounding the counter to step in front of her computer. "I wouldn't have struggled to fall asleep if it weren't for you and your libido." She informs carelessly. 

Harry gasps in offense. "Take that back!"

Gemma snorts. "I can't take back something I heard. I especially can't take back when it went on all night. I missed four hours of sleep, Harry, four. Meaning you were at it-"

"Shut up." Harry murmurs, hiding his flaming cheeks. 

"-For four freaking hours, Harry. Are you not tired? You just had a baby six months ago."

"I'm allowed to be sexy." He retorts, narrowing his eyes. 

Gemma scoffs out a laugh. "I didn't say you can't be. But did it not hurt? I heard it takes six weeks to heal, but aren't you tired?"

He rolls his eyes and gradually loses his appetite. "It's not like it's rough and spontaneous, we're making love."

"Okay, Harold," Gemma exasperates. She heads to the coffee machine to turn it off, throwing another comment over her shoulder. "Just hope Dad hasn't heard. He'll have Louis' head if you end up pregnant again."

Harry glares at her through squinted eyes, but before he can retaliate, Junior starts to cry from inside the living room. He shoots her a look that says 'this is not over,' before attending his son, lifting him gingerly from the bassinet. "Hi, sun." He coos, gently bouncing him in his arms, careful to not jostle him too much. 

Junior's fist automatically find their way to his mouth and he slobber all over it, using his other hand to tangle itself in Harry's curls. "Let's say goodbye to your Aunt Gem because we're not spending the day with her this time." He mentions aggressively, throwing daggers through his gaze. 

Gemma simply waves him off, but he knows she'll be devastated when she realizes that he's serious. What can he say? He's a petty sibling. 

The day continues like any other, Harry reads children's books and listens to nursery rhymes all day, giving himself some time to do his classwork. Junior has an easy day, the only accident being the massive diarrhea he spewed on the bed sheets, which Harry had to change. He returns downstairs after spending four hours in his room, disregarding the look his sister gives him. 

He's just in time for Louis' arrival. The older man bustles into the house, carrying what Harry likes to refer to as his 'business' brief case, which makes him look sophisticated and even hotter. Junior turns his head upon the sound of the door and squeals, flailing his arms in an attempt to get to his father. Harry wears a faux frown, pulling the infant away from his body to look him down. "Are you trying to get away from your mum?" 

"Yes, now make way." Louis rudely says, carefully taking the baby from Harry's arms. He scowls at him, but he can't help admiring his boyfriend and their baby, looking like carbon copies of each other. Louis lifts Junior and imitates a plane, exerting joyful giggles from the boy as he's raised in the air. Harry sulks, pretending to be upset about the scene, but he honestly doesn't mind if it means he gets to see his boyfriend be a Dad. 

Louis starts to toss Junior, just a little bit, until he bounces him too high and his head hits the wall. Harry gasps, just as Louis freezes. "Was that his head?" 

"No, if it was his head, I think he'd be cry-" Louis gets cut off by a brusque wail, Junior's face twisted into a grimace. Harry makes a noise of disbelief and takes the child away, rubbing his back soothingly. "I know." He whispers. 

Gemma comes into the living room and offers him an icepack, which he takes, possibly forgiving her a little. "Should we call your mom?" Louis asks worriedly, appearing hesitant to touch his son. Harry gazes at him softly, before his expression morphs into a scowl. "So she can be judgmental and claim that this is all because of the name I chose? No thanks."

"Harry, she's your mom. Of course she's going to be judgmental." Louis responds in an obvious tone. He ignores Harry's complaints and goes to the housephone, dialing the woman's work number. Harry groans as Louis hands him the phone, snatching it from him. He musters the friendliest voice he can offer and presses the phone to his ear, adjusting Junior on his hip. "Hey, um. When Gem and I were small, did you ever..." he swallows, trying to find the best wording. "Smack our heads into a wall?"

Anne chuckles from the other end. "Relax, it happens. Your cousin Dale used to bang his head all the time and he's fine." 

Harry forces a smile. "Okay, thanks for the help." His cousin Dale is not fine, that man has a 1.0 GPA and thinks the earth is flat. Louis lets out a sigh of relief, though this was far from over. He takes the phone away from his ear and gazes at Louis. "Load up the car, we have to take him to the hospital."

The doctor examines Junior and concludes that there isn't any bruising and he doesn't seem to be in any pain. She says babies are designed for new parents... but Harry isn't so sure about that. It was going well, Harry was strapping Junior into his car seat when Louis admitted that he didn't think he was a good father, which hurt Harry's heart to hear. It was one accident, which didn't cause any serious damage—or any at all—and Junior was perfectly fine before they even arrived at the hospital. 

"What're you talking about? We're both new at this." Harry protests, dropping the diaper bag on the car floor. 

"You're such a natural," Louis argues, beginning to shake his head at his next comment. "You change his diaper with one hand."

Harry hides a smile and pulls away from the car, putting his elbow on the hood. "There are so many things that you do, that I can't. You took care of all Junior's paperwork and the hospital bills."

"It was just a couple- well, actually, a lot of paperwork."

Harry nods. "And you got him on all of those preschool waiting lists. That's what makes us a great team. We each have our own strengths, and I'm bound to make a mistake sooner or later. We're both going to do something wrong, maybe even more, at some point."

Louis offers a weak smile. "I guess."

Harry's shoulders slouch and he pulls Louis in by the hem of his shirt, up until their noses are touching. "I want you to be positive. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you, you making a mistake makes you an even better Dad. More realistic than those stupid TV shows." 

Louis twists his lips, believing it a little better. "Alright." 

"We're going to be amazing parents." Harry declares and shuts the car door. He moves to the passenger side to pull the door, only for it to not budge. "Did we just lock our baby in the car?"

"Did you put the keys in the bag?" Louis asks, pulling the door forcefully. 

"I did.."

"Oh, Harry, I told you not to put the keys in the bag!" Louis sputters, tugging on the door like a maniac. 

Harry's eyes widen and he peaks into the window. Junior looks relatively calm, sucking on a silicone fruit feeder. "Okay, Louis, don't freak out." He advises, but Louis won't stop tapping on the window and yanking on the door—like it would work. He remembers his dad being in a similar situation, and he called roadside assistance, so he does that. Somehow, even though he's younger, Louis doesn't know what to do and acts like an amateur. Threatening to break the window with one of the trashcans in the parking lot. 

Harry rolls his eyes, and he can see adults looking at them funny, all because of the scene Louis is making. "Do not break the window, you'll get glass on him." Harry scolds, holding the phone to his ear. 

"Please tell your wife to calm down. Everything is going to be okay, we're currently working on the issue."

Harry frowns. "That's a man." 

"Really?"

"Don't worry, June. Daddy's coming for you." Louis promises, swinging his arm back. Harry moans in frustration and guards the window. "I told you, do not break the window!"

"Sir, we just sent the signal. The door should be unlocked now."

"Check the door." Harry tells him. Louis reaches out for the handle and pulls, without budging. "It's not unlocking!" He continues before it abruptly unlocks. He exhales loudly, relief washing over him. "Oh, that's amazing."

✧˖°🌷𔘓 ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry visits his gynecologist every two months so his reproductive system can be monitored. They say there's a risk, and possible infertility in male pregnancies; especially teen ones. The thought of being unable to be pregnant again scares him, but his grandmother had a lot of children, and Louis comes from a big family, so he hopes there's a chance he'll inherit that. For the future, of course. 

His old doctor resigned, giving him a new one. She was rather young, maybe a few years older than him, and she was kind. So, he didn't really mind the change. His appointment drags on like most of them, a breast exam and pelvic. She asks him a few questions, which he answers positively almost always. He imagined that it was going smoothly, as his final exam was the pelvic, but Dr. Bowen happened to be taking a little longer in his anus. 

He doesn't voice his confusion, although he fairly is. The woman eventually returns to a sitting position, straightening her posture as she pulls off his gloves. "Do you mind if I do a blood test?" 

Harry frowns. A random blood test didn't sound good, was he dying? "What's it for?"

"There was some changes in your cervix. I just want to ensure everything's is alright."

He sighs, dreading the test. "Okay." 

He get his blood drawn and sits in the waiting room for a few hours. He messages Louis about the delay and the older man states that he'll come over there, leaving no room for discussion. Louis arrives about five minutes before the nurse calls him back to the exam room. The couple walk with their fingers laced, entering the room. 

Dr. Bowen smiles from where she's sat, spinning her chair around. "So, I noticed some changes in your cervix from the last time I examined you. It was in a higher position, and felt softer. In your blood test, it determined that you are eight weeks pregnant."

"What the fuck?"

Chapter Text

"Mommy, can we have boba with breakfast?" Adeline asks as she steps onto a stool, leaning over the counter to peak at their breakfast and her mother. Harry curls his lips as he focused on whisking the pancake batter, glancing at the girl briefly. "I don't know, it sounds like a lot of sugar." He replies, raising his eyebrows pointedly. He may have become paranoid about cavities ever since Junior got them when he was five, all because Louis had been watching him overnight while Harry was working at CVS. Never again, he consistently reminded himself. 

"Please." Adeline begs, pouting her lip and batting her eyelashes. Harry pops his hip, seemingly unimpressed by the girl's attempt at being cute, but he considered it. He can't keep them from sugar forever, and they need to use the boba kit soon anyway. "Fine. Go get it out the freezer, please." He instructs and returns his attention to the bowl. Adeline obliges, her princess pumps clacking on the tiled floor as she goes to the freezer and drags the stool along with her. 

While Harry pours the batch onto the pan and waits for it to cook, he turns on the other eye on the stove to boil water. Adeline beams in anticipation as she watches her mom prepare the boba, placing the separate packets into the water once it started boiling. Adeline also offers to help him make breakfast and he directs her on how to flip the pancakes. 

The stairs creak from above and Louis enters the kitchen, smiling when he sees the two. "Good morning, baby," He greets, giving his husband a chaste kiss. He rounds his arms around Adeline's waist and lifts her up to attack her with kisses, the girl sputtering into a fit of laughs, squirming in his arms. "Good morning, princess."

"Daddy! I'm going to kick you."

Louis carefully places her back on the stool and smooths his hand through her hair, smiling fondly. "What're you cooking up?"

"Pancakes!"

"Oh, my favorite." Louis says, rubbing his hands together in delight. Harry playfully rolls his eyes from where he pours the instant packet into a cup. "Yeah, cause you can't fix them yourself." He sarcastically remarks.

His body jolts when he receives a rather harsh slap to the ass and he spins around, jaw fallen slack in disbelief. "Louis Tomlinson!"

"Hey!" Adeline complains and places her hands on her hips, staring at her father seriously. "You can not hit mommy."

Louis raises his hands in surrender, fighting back a smile. "Okay, I'm sorry, Addie."

"No, you have to say sorry to mommy."

Harry bites his lip and gazes at his husband expectantly. "I'm sorry, darling." Louis apologizes. 

Harry lifts his head dramatically, feigning superiority. "I don't accept."

"Oh, you will later." Louis says suggestively, earning a gasp from the younger man. He threatens a spatula if he doesn't leave the kitchen and he laughs as he exits, finding Eileen at the table. "Good morning, sweetheart." He addresses, leaning in for a kiss, in which she rejects in disgust. "What, can't I kiss you good morning?" He questions. 

Eileen's lips curl downwards and she stands up from the table. "No, it's gross." She claims, emphasizing the word. Louis rolls his eyes at her dramatics and sits down, unfolding the letter his company received. Harry starts to set the table, the delicious smelling cakes filtering through the house. The younger man glances down at his husband when he positions a plate in front of him, noticing how he was squinting at the paper. 

"Why're you reading the paper like that?" Harry asks. 

"I don't know, I think the print is smaller." Louis murmurs, his shoulders hunching from how close he analyzed the treatise. 

"Are you still having trouble with your eyes?" Harry suggests, knowing that, that was a lie. "Yesterday your eyes were burning, today you can't read?"

Louis places the paper down, sighing. "You know what? I can still see how beautiful you are." He mentions. 

Harry smiles. "Oh, thank you," He says softly. "But I'm still making you an eye appointment, right now." 

Louis sighs loudly, pleading while Harry heads for the foyer. "Come on, Haz, I don't want to go to the eye doctor." Junior takes a seat where one of the plates are at and Harry spins around, propping his hands on his hips. "Okay, I'm going to give you one more chance. How many fingers do I have up?" He quizzes, holding up three digits. 

Louis leans back to try and discern the blurry image, close enough to mutter to Junior. "How many fingers does your mother have up?"

Junior stuffs a large amount of food in his mouth, responding in a mouthful. "Two."

"Two." Louis repeats, smiling triumphantly. 

Harry returns the expression, for different reasons. "Wrong." He says and Louis turns to Junior, narrowing his eyes. "What? Technically, a thumb is not a finger," Junior holds up his thumb. "See, the opposable thumb is what sets us apart from other animals." He informs.

"That thumb is about to become disposable." Harry rolls his eyes at his husband's dramatics and helps Allison into her booster seat. "Adeline, be a doll and get your other siblings for me." 

"Okay!" Adeline chirps before running off. Harry straps Allison into her seat and touches Louis' shoulder. "I made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon." 

Louis sighs, but he knows there's no way out of it. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry adjusts the sheets to Delaney's bed after changing them, throwing it in the air. Just as it's falling down, Avery falls onto the mattress, giggling. "You can't find me, mommy!" He's fallen into this game of hide and seek, only, you never know when you're playing it. And it's always in the most obvious places, like right now, where he has to pretend he can't find the boy. But he doesn't mind, as long as his son's happy. "Where is that Avery?" Harry questions aloud, putting the sheet over Avery. "Is he under the bed?"

He pretends to not find him and rounds the other side, continuing to put the sheet under the mattress. "Okay, I'm just gonna have to make this bed all by myself." He says. Avery snickers from under the sheet, biting his knuckles apprehensively. Harry fakes a yawn as he stretches his arms over his head. "Oh, all of this work is making me tired. I think I'm just gonna lay down on the bed." He says and gently falls onto Avery, earning a boisterous laugh. 

He smiles and sits up, exasperating. "This is a lumpy bed! What is this?!" He partially pulls up the sheet to reveal Avery's socked feet and screams. "This lump has feet! And stinky feet, too, P.U." Avery laughs when he grabs them and kicks his legs until the sheet removes from him completely. "The bed doesn't have stinky feet, they're mine! I tricked you." He explains. 

Harry grins and grabs his chin. "You sure did. Now, get up and help me make the bed, okay?" He tells him, standing up. He pulls down on the side that needs to be covered and lifts the mattress, finding a purple journal under it. He purses his lips and continues to cover the bed, planning to see what it is once he finishes. Avery runs off once they're done and he lifts the mattress again, grabbing the journal. 

"No, this is Eileen's diary." He scolds himself when he has it in his hands. Desmond did the same thing to him, he'd be no better than his father if he did it. But, he isn't his father's child now, and he's too nosey. It's eating him up. He grabs the journal again, justifying his actions in his head. Eileen has been acting strange lately, if he does read this diary, maybe it'll tell him something that she's been keeping to herself, and he can help her if she needs it. 

And, he wouldn't feel guilty if it just... fell on the floor and opened up by itself... maybe tripped and jimmied the lock. Harry finds himself sitting at the single desk in Dakota and Delaney's room, flipping the pages open. He stops at a random one, briefly reading them. It's mostly the basics. 

"Hate school," "Hate my life," "Hate my brother," "I love Kali Uchis," "Hate my mother," "Hate my father,"

He turns the page continuously until he finds one entry that makes his heart falter for a second. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis returns from his doctor's appointment with post-mydriatic glasses protecting his eyes. Harry walks down the steps to find the older man sitting on the couch and he almost laughs at the sight. He looks like a blind man simply sitting there, unable to see what direction he's looking at. Harry takes a seat on the sofa across from him, slapping his hands on his thighs. "What did the doctor have to say?"

"He says that I'm getting older. I have presbyopia." Louis responds, verbally unimpressed. 

Harry furrows his eyebrows. "What does that mean?"

"It means that if I want to read something, I have to wear glasses."

Harry exhales loudly and reaches beneath the couch cushions as he speaks. "Well, I have some news that you're gonna be very happy that you can't read; Eileen's diary.

Louis shakes his head. "We can't read our daughter's private thoughts." He scolds. Harry plops down beside him and taps the man's shoulder when he notices that he's looking the wrong way. Louis pauses for a second to adjust himself on the couch before continuing. "It would be wrong, and I'm surprised that you would do that."

Harry raises his eyebrows, genuinely shocked. "Oh-"

"Start at page one."

Of course. 

Harry glares at him, unimpressed, before turning the pages. "Well, this is all you have to hear," he clears his throat. "Dear diary, today I realized for the first time that Evan is the one. No other guy has ever treated me so well and has been so deserving. I think it's about time to take it a step further." He reads and closes the book shut. 

Louis sits up on the couch and finally ends up looking the right way. "I knew something was up with her!"

Harry shakes his head as he stares at the wall for a moment. Then he raises a finger knowingly. "Yeah, but the good news is that the boy is very, very religious."

Louis forces a laugh. "Yeah, we all know what he's been praying for." Harry pinches the man's thigh and he swats his hand away, calming himself. "Okay, yeah. But I hope that Eileen will be smart enough to resist his temptation."

Harry's lips turn into a frown, unsure of those expectations. "Well, you know, Louis, these issues are really tough on teenagers. You know how it was when we were young." He reminds.

"Yeah, but you were easy."

Harry whips his head around. "What?!"

"I mean, to love—just easy—just so very easy to get along with." Louis corrects. Harry rolls his eyes at the comment and stands from the couch, not before slapping his knee. "We need to go talk to her. And don't become too much. We're not going to tell her she can't, but at least give her some mind on what can happen." 

Louis easily agrees and they head up to Eileen's room. Harry knocks on the door thrice before pushing it open, finding the girl in the middle of her bedroom, practicing for cheer. Harry smiles fondly at the sight and allows themselves in, holding Louis' elbow to guide him. Eileen jumps when she sees the two adults and she turns off her music. "What did I do?"

"Nothing yet, we hope." Louis responds.

She arches an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"Your father read your diary." Harry accuses, pointing a finger at him. 

Eileen eyes widen comically. "You did what?!"

Louis opens his mouth to deny, but Harry claps a hand over it, twisting his words. "Honey, please forgive him. You see, he's got these dilators, and accidentally opened up your diary." Louis stops himself from correcting the younger man when he realizes that's a pretty good excuse, but Eileen doesn't accept it. "That is a total violation of my privacy!"

Louis straightens himself up, alluding an assertive voice. "Alright, now you sit down, young lady." Eileen moves to sulk at her desk and Louis goes to reprimand where she once was, ultimately speaking to air. Harry shakes his head in disbelief and coaxes his shoulders, directing him to the desk. Louis reaches out until he feels her head, Eileen glaring. "Okay, let me repeat that," Ahem. "Let me tell you about how privacy works in this house. Nobody has privacy in this house, not even your mother and I."

"This is not fair." Eileen argues. 

"Yeah, it's not fair, but it's happening. Now, your mother has something to tell you about what I read in your diary when I was blind." Louis says ironically. Harry rolls his eyes and folds his arms over his chest, approaching his daughter's desk. "Eileen, I want to talk to you about sex."

"Ew." Louis comments.

Harry gives him a dirty look. "What did you think we were going to talk about, Louis?"

"I thought you were just going to yell at her and punish her, lock her in the room or something." Louis says. 

"Yeah, well, we're already in her room." Harry retorts. 

Louis shrugs and turns on his heels. "Okay, well, I don't want to hear this." He mumbles, bumping into the wall on his way out. When the door shuts, Eileen huffs, her arms wrapped around herself in a defeated manner. "We already had the sex talk, mom." 

"No, we had the biology talk. I never told you the real stuff," He sighs as he tries to find the right words. "Eileen, I know that you, like many other young girls and boys your age, have this romantic idea about what you think the first time is going to be like. But trust me, it is nothing like that." 

Eileen tucks a curl behind her ear and avoids eye contact as he continues. "The first time, it's clumsy. Boys your age don't know what they're doing. They're fumbling around, pushing and prodding. And before you know it, it's over really quick."

"Come on, I wasn't that quick!" Louis shouts through the door.

 She pulls a face at his words, her eyebrows pulling together. "Why are you guys coming down on me like this? You guys didn't wait." 

"Yeah, and it made things very difficult," Harry argues. "I had to restructure my whole life. That meant missing out on a lot of things. I missed the prom, I missed the Homecoming, I missed out on going to college with all my friends."

"I'm not planning on getting pregnant." Eileen retaliates. 

"Well, neither did I," Harry says. "But it happened, didn't it?"

Eileen sighs and moves from her desk to her bed, falling down on the mattress. "Look, just because I thought about it doesn't mean I was gonna do it. It's like you with your diets."

"Hey, watch it." Harry warns. 

She huffs. "So, are we done here?"

Harry shakes his head, taking a seat beside her. "No, we are not. Look, I was a teenager myself—"

"That was a long time ago."

"—I think I told you to watch it." Eileen picks the skin of her fingers, allowing him to continue. "I still know what it's like to have my hormones jumping around, out of control. Now here's the bottom line, okay? Look at me." Eileen drops her hand and peers at him, visibly conflicted. "I love you and I want you to wait for as long as you possibly can, Eileen." He breathes out a sigh. "But, if the times comes, and you decide that you can't wait any longer, please come to me. Promise me that, okay?"

Eileen sighs, but agrees. "You and Dad need to promise me something, though." Harry nods for her to go on. "I need to be able to trust that my privacy will be respected in this house, and I won't have to worry about anyone reading my diary." She emphasizes. 

Harry's tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he thinks about it. "I'm okay with that." He decides. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry sat at the table, solely focused on his sketchbook. His boss wanted a new design in by Friday, which he didn't struggle in doing. He frequently had a lot of ideas that he dumped out in this very notebook, patterns and prints of all sorts. He just had to dig deeper into his imagination this time around, as he had a theme to follow. Spring wasn't a hard concept, and he enjoyed the month, and Mother's Day had nothing to do with it. 

He hears the front door open and Louis' cordial tone as he enters the house. Harry glances at him briefly as he tries to cut the strips of a silk fabric. "Hey, Lou. What are you doing home this early?" He asks curiously, watching the older man carry a grocery bag in hand. Louis leans over to plant a kiss on his cheek, placing the bag on the table. "I took off a little early so I could get off a little early." Louis responds, a suggestive lilt in his voice and smile on his lips. 

Harry smiles, playing along. "Oh," he says, before ruining his fun. "Junior's home."

Louis' smile drops. "Great." 

Harry raises a finger. "But he should be leaving any minute now."

Louis' jovial expression returns. "Oh, good. As soon as he's gone, I will employ my evil plot to get your panties." 

Harry lets out a guffawing laugh, dropping his scissors. "Louis, have some courtesy!"

Louis ignores him, going into the bag. "And these are my tools of seduction," he prompts, holding a container of strawberries. "We start with chocolate-covered strawberries." He sets that aside and pulls out a bottle. "And then we move onto the Dom Perignon." Harry grins at the sight of his favorite vintage champagne, taking the bottle and placing it beside himself as Louis continued. "And last... but not least, we have the ultimate chick-flick, Breakfast at Tiffany's."

Harry gasps and stands up to grab the DVD, smiling appreciatively. "Oh, baby. This is so sweet. I must of seen this ten times already." He says, and despite that factor, the film never gets old. A smirk etches the corners of Louis' lips and he eases his hands around his husband's waist, pulling him in until their chests are flush. "I know, so you won't mind when we miss the ending." 

Harry giggles, rounding the older man's neck. "Thank you so much." He says before connecting their lips. The kiss doesn't get too risqué, but it's quite near when Junior walks into the dining room, his face instantly pulling in a grimace. "Ew, you people are gross. You've been married forever, when are you going to start acting like it?" He revulsed, heading to the refrigerator. 

"Never." Harry responds, pecking the eldest's lips once more. Louis hums and pulls away to follow his son. "Yeah, and don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Yes, I do. Thank god." Junior says, grabbing a bottle of cranberry juice. Louis smiles disingenuously and gently touches his lower back. "Great, let me walk you to the door." 

That following night, Harry returned home from a dinner-meeting, claiming that he had great news. Louis decided to hear the lad out on it, sitting up on the couch as Harry took a seat on the arm rest, straightening out his blazer. "I just signed us up for the most remarkable experience." At the mention of signed up, Louis frowns in distaste, knowing those never end well. Sometimes he thinks pen and paper just need to be forbidden from the younger man, who's always the first to enroll them in some unnecessary program. 

Still, he appeases Harry. "What?"

Harry claps his hands together. "Okay, have you ever heard of Dr. Liam Payne?"

"Sounds like a modern day Charles Cullen." Louis remarks, which Harry chooses to ignore. "He's this relationship guru. He's having a seminar and he's only here for one day, and the seminar is called 'Open Your Heart.'" 

Louis makes a face and Harry whines. "Come on, it's going to be fun. Plus, the $400 fee is non-refundable."

Louis' mouth falls open. "$400?!"

Harry smiles as charmingly as possible, batting his eyelashes and Louis could slap his head. "Baby, are we not happy?" Louis decides to ask, and Harry immediately denies. "Of course we are." He almost sounds offended. 

"Did I not come home in the middle of the afternoon with champagne and strawberries?"

Harry twists his lips, starting to feel guilty. "You did."

"Did we not get busy on the kitchen table?" 

Harry starts to smile, shaking his head in affirmation. "It was fun too." He comments. 

Louis chuckles under his breath, but continues furthering his point. "Okay, so why do you insist on going to all of these events?"

"Because it's like I say all the time, it's a chance for us to spend some quality time and-"

"But why do you insist on going to these fakes?"

Harry pouts his lip. "Dr. Payne is not fake. He has a degree and he's always on Jimmy Kimmel." Louis doesn't seem impressed and makes his way up the stairs, causing the younger man to quickly trail behind him. "Louis, please, do this for me. It's just for one night, it's important to me." He whines. 

Louis sighs. "I guess if it's important to you."

Harry splits into a grin. "You'll do it?" 

"Only if I get a blowjob." 

Harry slaps his shoulder, but he doesn't deny it. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis isn't enjoying the seminar at all. It seems like a total waste of time, with a fraud doctor who wants to be the next Dr. Phil. After listening to another couple do the same shit for the umpteenth time, he turns to Harry. Harry sits beside him with his legs crossed, attention focused on the brochure in his hands. He's taking this seminar too seriously when all they've done this entire time is watch the same thing repeat itself. "Babe, we got our $400 worth. Let's go."

"No!" Harry tries to pull his arm away from Louis while the man stands from his chair, drawing attention to the couple. Dr. Payne notices them and smile. "Well, we didn't get the chance to welcome our chatty little couple." He announces. "What are your names?"

Louis grimaces in dissent, so Harry answers the question politely. "Harry and Louis Tomlinson."

"And how would you describe your relationship?"

Louis forces a smile, placing a hand on the small of Harry's back. "We are the happiest as can be, I don't even know why we're here."

"So what you're saying is that your relationship is pretty much perfect?" Dr. Payne dims down.

"Yup, that's what we're saying."

"Well, I got a news flash for you, buddy. There is no such thing as a "perfect" relationship," Dr. Payne says. "And denial is not just a river in Egypt."

"I don't like you." Louis deadpans. 

"That is good! That's excellent, now you're being honest." Dr. Payne counters. The suited man turns around to walk around the room, speaking to everyone. "And he's right not to like me. I'm not your friend. I'm the man who's going to put truth into your relationships." He claims. "Now, you two, come on up here." He tells them, pointing to the small stage where two chairs were located across each other. 

Harry beams and clasps his hand with Louis', pulling the groaning man. "Come on, Lou. Let's show them what a happy couple is." He encourages. Louis exhales cavernously and allows himself to be pulled onto the stage by an eager Harry. They take a seat as the couples in the audience applaud, Dr. Payne speaking. "Now, the key to a truly successful relationship is the ability to communicate honestly and to receive criticism with an open heart." 

Harry and Louis face each other as Dr. Payne continues. "Now, whatever your partner sends to you, you must hear it, and then repeat the phrase, "I can accept that, and my heart is still open.""

Harry shakes his head in understanding and Louis sighs, dropping his hands on his knees. "I want you to go first, Louis. Look Harry in the eye and tell him something you don't like about him." Dr. Payne says. 

Louis purses his lips. "I don't like the pants you're wearing."

"I can accept that, and my heart is still open," Harry responds lightly. He searches for something on Louis that he doesn't like. "Um, I don't like the jacket you're wearing."

Louis repeats the phrase and turns to Liam to say that was it, but Dr. Payne places a firm hand on his shoulder. "Okay, let's dig a little deeper now."

Louis adjusts his jacket. "Okay, sometimes you snore at night, and it sounds like I'm in bed with a little bear."

Harry gives a tight-lipped smile. "I can accept that, and my heart is still open." He says. Louis nods approvingly, smugly, and it makes Harry want to squeeze his neck like a water bottle. "I don't like it when you floss your teeth and you leave that little nasty string around. It stinks."

Dr. Payne glances at Louis, as if he was waiting for something and the man grins. "I can accept that." The 'doctor' hums and crouches down, egging them on. "Now we're getting somewhere Dig even deeper."

Louis thinks about it for a moment and prompts, "Sometimes when you walk, the sound of your thighs rubbing together makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up." 

Harry's jaw falls slack and he squints his eyes, repeating the phrase before he goes on. "Sometimes your beady little eyes give me the creeps." 

Louis hardens his eyes and Harry tilts his head. "What, what happened to my heart is still open?"

Harry jiggles the keys through the lock angrily, bustling through the door. "I have never been so betrayed in my entire life." He declares, throwing his purse and jacket onto the couch.

"You're the one who wanted to go to the homewrecking seminar." Louis mocks, plopping down on the couch. Harry glowers at the man, his fists clenching in the air, and Louis almost feels that he'll choke him as he stutters out a response, hands clenching and unclenching. "You know what? I am so mad right now, I just-- I don't even want to talk about this anymore," He ends up saying, "And just lock the door, okay? I would do it myself, but the sound of my humungous thighs rubbing together might shatter your eardrums." He sneers, walking up the steps. 

"Sure I'll get it," Louis replies as he heads for the door. "I just hope my beady little eyes can see the lock."

"I hope your beady little eyes can see the couch, too, 'cause that's where you're going to be sleeping tonight." Harry retorts.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The next day, all Louis received was silent treatment. Through breakfast, getting the kids ready, and lunch. Once the afternoon rolled around and Louis was playing a FIFA game, that's when Harry decided to invite himself in the living room; only to obsessively pat the pillows and fluff them out. When going to the other side of the couch, he purposefully stepped all over Louis' bare feet. "Ow-- look, this area is fine. I'll take care of it-" Harry doesn't stop and starts dusting the coffee table. "Still with the silent treatment?"

Harry glares at him once before approaching the TV and dusting it off as well. "Okay, you know what, I like this better than the game, anyway." Louis jests, eyes trained to the tracksuit hugging the younger man's legs. Harry quickly turns around with his jaw locked and covers his hands over his bum. Louis smiles jubilantly and grabs the controller again. However, vacuum cleaner starts loudly whirring over Louis' game and he drops the controller to stomp over and unplug the cleaner. 

Harry drops the vacuum and runs to unplug the TV, holding it up. "Plug that back in!" Louis tells him. 

"You plug that back in!"

"You talked. Ha!" Louis childishly says.

Harry narrows his eyes. "No, I talked because I wanted to." 

"No, you're talking because I tricked you." Louis sing-songs. Harry rolls his eyes just as the housephone starts to ring on the table and he goes to grab it, stopping when the plug halts him. "You grab it."

"No, you get it."

Harry puts his hand on his hip. "Fine, let it ring." The couple stand stupidly in the living room as the phone rings until it goes to voicemail, a woman's static voice introducing herself through the speaker. "This is the nurse from Audrey's school. Audrey's had an accident and we're trying to get-" Harry drops the cord and swiftly answers the phone. "Hello? What happened?"

Louis watches as Harry brings his hand to his mouth. "What? What happened." 

"Audrey fell off the jungle gym, she's in the emergency room."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis holds Audrey on his hip as he opens the door. Audrey hugs her teddy bear in her arms with a smile, slightly drowsy from antibiotics. She wasn't hurt too badly, all she got was a bandage on her head and three stitches in her elbow, which she took like a champ. "Now, you open up your sea monkeys and put them in a glass of water, and in no time, you're going to have 75 new friends that look just like Junior." Louis says as he carefully puts her on the ground. 

Audrey grins. "Thanks, daddy. You know, I think tomorrow I'll fall off the swing set." 

Louis laughs and gently urges her to the stairs, leaving him and Harry alone. Harry sighs and falls onto the couch, frowning slightly. "I was so scared." He mumbles. 

"It's okay, all she got was a bump to the head and a hurt elbow." Louis says. 

"I'm sorry I've been acting stupidly these past couple of days." Harry apologizes, embarrassed by his behavior.

"Baby, we've both been acting stupid." Louis responds. Harry shakes his head in disagreement, holding onto Louis' knee. "No, I dragged you to that ridiculous relationship seminar. You are a wonderful partner, I couldn't ask for anybody better." He says.

Louis stares at him, totally enamored. "Neither can I." He mumbles, leaning in for a chaste kiss. Harry smiles softly, feeling the tension and frustration from earlier dissipate. He drops his head on Louis' shoulder and melts into his embrace. "I love you, more than anything in this world." Louis whispers, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

Harry hums. "I love you too."

Chapter Text

Harry stands at the counter, loading an old diaper bag with snacks for the twins. Keke was finally having her baby shower after continuously cancelling it because 'something' came up. She was probably nervous. He knows it took at least four years for her to have a successful pregnancy and she didn't want to celebrate her baby, much less, know the gender, only for them to not be born. But she's at least seven months along and she's told him how certain she is this time. He's just glad she's happy, she'll be a great mother. 

Anyway, he's not going to take everyone to the shower. He decided he'd only take the twins, as there would be less children, and they were the youngest. Keke promised there would be enough children to go around, and kid-friendly activities. Besides, Allison and Faith have just recently left the terrible twos, they're still as energetic as can be. 

He holds a chocolate Hostess cupcake that he was meant to be putting in the bag. He's supposed to be on a diet for the yoga class he signed up for... but he's too tempted. Lottie's doing the diet alongside him and it'd be hypocritical if he eats his cupcake. He consistently tells himself that, but he can't help it. He tosses the cupcake into his mouth, barely savoring the taste as he chews it. A flickering light surprises him and he nearly chokes, covering his mouth to save the crumbs falling off his lips. Louis holds the DSLR camera over his shoulder, positioning himself at the foyer for the perfect shot. 

"Louis!" Harry grumbles. 

Louis grins smugly, waving the photo dry. "Got you!" He exclaims, approaching the refrigerator where photographs of nearly all their children were. "Another entry on the wall of shame." He declares. Harry dabs his lips with a napkin, complaining loudly. "Louis, don't you dare."

"Should I put this next to Dakota with her foot in the toilet or Junior with his thing caught in his zipper?" Louis contemplates. Harry glares at him, unamused. The older man takes a look at his face before smiling even wider. "I'll put it with Junior." He decides, sticking it to the fridge. 

"Why aren't any of your pictures up on the wall of shame?" Harry questions, continuing to scowl. 

"Because it's my camera, my wall, and it's your shame." Louis responds. 

Eileen beams as she enters the house, which is already an unusual thing. "Hi Mom, hi Dad." She greets softly, approaching the couple. "Hey, how was school?" Louis asks. 

"School was terrific, I love learning." Harry makes a face and she coos, tugging on the fabric of Louis' dress shirt. "You guys look fabulous today," she claims. "Dad you look so buff today, you're ripping out your shirt."

Harry's lips curl at her horrible attempt at complimenting him and he only laughs when Louis looks at him. "The answer is no." Louis says. 

Eileen fiends confusion. "No what?"

"Whatever you were going to ask, the answer is no." Louis explains. 

Eileen frowns. "It's just a party at Sean's house." 

"No, you are too young to go to parties. The only thing there is, is horny boys, naive girls, and loud music that makes you want to bump nasty." Louis remarks. 

Eileen scoffs and Louis imitates her, continuing. "See, when your mother and I used to go out dancing, a dance would be a slow dance. Maybe I could turn him around and see his butt, but I had to do it quickly." He demonstrates with his hands. Harry rolls his eyes in disbelief, taking the older man completely unserious as he still goes on. "Nowadays you don't even have to hide it. Then there's nowhere to go after that except the maternity ward."

"Thanks for not trusting me." Eileen snides, leaving the kitchen. 

Harry purses his lips and resumes on packing the twins' bags, but his expression doesn't go unnoticed by his husband. "You're humming, what'd I do?"

"What?" Harry catechizes. 

"Anytime you start humming, I did something wrong. What?" Louis elucidates. Harry sighs and zips up the bag, turning to face the man. "I think you're being unfair to Eileen."

"I disagree."

"It's not a school night," Harry points out. "And how is she ever going to learn to be responsible and mature if we don't give her a chance to prove it?" 

Eileen returns to the kitchen, standing at the entrance. "Can I at least go to Ameia's house for a sleepover? Chyanne's going to be there too." She says. 

"No." Louis answers at the same time Harry says "Yes."

Harry turns to his husband. "Don't you agree, Louis? Yes," he repeats, this time slower so he can parrot. "Yes."

Louis exhales. "Fine. It's fine with me." Eileen smiles widely, her dimples popping in her cheeks. "Thank you." She pronounces over her shoulder as she skips away. 

Harry notices the silence from his partner and sighs. "What? It's just a sleep over."

"No, it's just a sneak-over," Louis enunciates. "She's going to pretend to go to her friend's house, and then she's going to sneak over to the party. You can't see that?"

Harry makes a protest of disagreement, collecting the bag in his arms. "I think you're just being paranoid. It's your son you should be worrying about." He reminds pointedly. 

Louis waives him off. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry dresses the twins in the cutest babydoll dresses ever. The girls look terribly similar, their curls intricate and running down their backs, matching blush pink gowns, according to the color theme. He puts different bows in their hair to identify them, Faith with a flower headband in her hair, and Allison with a ribbon. 

Harry took forever deciding what he would wear, ultimately going for an open satin shirt and jeans, pronouncing them late. Keke doesn't seem to mind their delay, simply happy they could attend. She pulls him into a tight hug, despite the bump that restricts them and he smiles at the feeling. "Oh, it's growing really big!" He observes, his hands hovering over the bump. 

Keke grins. "You can touch it, silly."

Harry splays his hand across the expanse of her round stomach, a smile finding its way onto his lips. The feeling of her bump on his fingertips makes him maudlin and he pouts his lip. "I miss this." He whines. 

Keke laughs. "Still?" She quips. Faith tugs on the man's tight pant leg, her nails doing more digging into his skin rather than his pants. "Mumma, Allie and me were in your tummy too, right?"

Harry nods, still sulking. "You were."

"Will you have another one in your tummy?" 

Keke chuckles at the expression on his face and lightly touches Faith's shoulder. "Hey, do you like games? The nice lady over there, Miss Palmer, has hang the diaper." She says, knowing it'll amuse the girl, and it does. Faith laughs loudly and grabs her sister's hand, the two following where Keke had pointed. 

Harry turns to Keke, smiling. "Hang the diaper? Really?"

"Oh, we've got all kinds of games. Celebrity babies, diaper relay, blind-folded diaper changing-" She lists. "Which I know you'll be good at." 

Harry laughs, but his eyes are trained on the swell of her stomach, longingly. It's a complete betrayal to the agreement he was heavily following, the one he's succeeded in through the past three years. He has twelve children already, three sets of multiples, but unfortunately, he's been hit with a tidal of baby fever. 

Keke gives him a knowing smirk and links their arms. "Let me show you to everyone else."

"Including the man that got you pregnant this time?" Harry asks pointedly. Keke cackles, slapping a hand over her mouth after. 

He does, in fact, win the diaper changing challenge—but his fever doesn't shake. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry returns home around noon, his arms full with gift bags and groceries after a quick trip. Allison and Faith ran in before him, sugared out by the chocolate strawberry platter at the shower, which was also offered for them to take home. He pushes the door open with his hip and the twins go sprinting in, right past their father. 

Harry drops the bags on the counter and Louis clasps his hands together, nudging him. "I just got first-hand, conclusive knowledge that Miss Eileen Valerie Tomlinson is planning to go to Sean's party tonight."

"Really?" Harry comments, taking out a package of lettuce. Louis nods happily and he cocks an eyebrow. "So, how'd you come up with this information?"

Louis frowns for a moment, seeming to be caught, before he explicitly says what happens. "Well, I was picking up the phone to make a phone call and I realized that she was on the other end, so I patiently waited. With the phone to my ear." 

"You were eavesdropping." Harry clarifies, putting the lettuce in the refrigerator. 

"No, no. I was monitoring the suspicious activity of a suspected party-goer." Louis corrects. 

Harry huffs out a laugh and takes out another item from the grocery bag. "Okay, well, my children have rights, and I refuse to be a part of this."

"Come on, Haz," Louis complains, but Harry denies him. "Outsmarting them is the only real perk you get as a parent." He jests. "Otherwise, you're just changing diapers, paying bills-- doing all that nurturing shit."

Harry snorts. "That's what you're supposed to be doing."

"Fine," Louis declares. "I'm going to go to that party and bust her—"

"No."

"—And put a picture of miss perfect right here," he points out. "on the wall of shame."

Dakota sits up on the sofa from where she was laying, her lips parted in shock. She runs quietly from the living room, thanks to her light weight and soft socks, dashing to Eileen's room. Eileen's standing in front of her mirror and putting socks in her bra when Dakota pushes through the door. 

"Get out!" She yells. 

"I have to tell you something!" Dakota protests. 

"Not now, Dakota. I'm busy." Eileen gestures, fanning out her shirt. Dakota shrugs and turns the knob to the door. "Okay, don't be mad at me when you get busted."

 "Wait!" Eileen calls and gently grabs her arm. "What did you say?"

"Oh, nothing. You're too busy." Dakota repeats innocently. 

"I'm never too busy for my favorite sister." Eileen tells her, lifting the girl onto her bed. Dakota grimaces. "Don't insult my intelligence."

Eileen chuckles and tucks a curl behind her ear, talking to the pig-tailed girl. "Okay, I'm sorry. But you said something about getting busted. What did you mean?"

Dakota gazes around her room and points to her desk. "Is that liquorice?"

"Yes."

"It sure looks good."

The older girl rolls her eyes. "It is good. What do you want?" Dakota hops off her bed and reaches the desk. "All these liquorice." She proclaims. 

"How about two?" Eileen suggests. Dakota laughs to scorn, walking in long strides. "Call me when you get serious."

"Ugh! You can have it all." Eileen says, collecting the candy. Dakota extends her hand and her older sister holds it to her chest. "Info first."

"I need a little taste to jog my memory." Dakota says. Eileen obliges and she takes a bite, chewing slowly. "Daddy knows about the party and he's going to go and catch you." 

"How do you know?" Eileen questions suspiciously. 

Dakota props a hand on her hip. "A little birdie told me. Can I have my liquorice now?"

"You get half now and half when you finish the job." Eileen tells her, separating the candy. 

"What job?"

"I need you to page me when Dad leaves the house tonight," Eileen grabs her dual screen and shows the girl. "I just typed in 'midget's' on the way,' when Dad leaves the house tonight, press this button and I'll get the message on my other pager. Any questions?"

"Yeah, why'd you put socks in your bra?"

"Get out!"

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Eileen bustles down the stairs with her travel bag in her hand. She spots her parents in the living room, cuddling on the couch with her younger sisters and Dakota and smiles.  "Bye mom, bye dad. I'm off to Ameia's house." She declares. Harry wishes her goodbye and Louis stops her to give her a kiss. "Have fun at the party."

Eileen sighs. "It's not a party, Dad."

"I meant the slumber party."

The girl rolls her eyes. "Okay, Dad." She says before leaving out the front door. When she's gone, Louis has a shit-eating grin. "I'm going to bust her, H." He claims. 

And only a few minutes after Eileen leaves, Louis comes down the stairs, wrapped in a blazer. Harry cocks an eyebrow at the sight, pulling Allison under his arm. "Where are you going?"

Louis opens his jacket, where the camera lies, attached to a string around his neck. "I think I'll go bust my daughter. Are you sure you don't want to come along? It's going to be fun." He says. 

Harry shakes his head. "No, I trust my children." He emphasizes, pressing a kiss to Allison's temple. Louis waives him off and leaves out the door. When it shuts, Dakota stands up. 

"Where are you going?" Harry asks. 

"I have to go tinkle." She replies. She starts for the stairs again and Harry stops her. "Remember, front to back." He motions. Dakota nods and hops up the stairs. She enters her bedroom and opens her dresser to pull out the pager Eileen gave her, following her instructions. 

Louis returns home and closes the door behind him. Harry smiles, twirling a teabag around in his mug. "How'd it go Sherlock?"

"She wasn't there." Louis grumbles. 

"Oh, really?" Harry responds sarcastically, following after him. "Who was it that said we should trust our children? Oh yeah, I remember, it was me."

Louis chuckles, taking the house phone off the charger. "Just because she wasn't at that party, doesn't mean she wasn't at that party." He says, dialing a number. 

"Who are you calling?"

"Ameia's parents. You can't out-slick me." Louis says, pressing the phone to his ear. He asks Miss Parker if Eileen was there and the woman confirms she isn't. He hangs the phone up and smiles triumphantly. "I told you-"

"Hi, Dad." Eileen greets. Louis jumps and turns around, finding two girls behind her, all dressed in pajamas. Harry raises his eyebrows spitefully, taking a sip of his tea. 

"What're you doing here?" Louis scrutinizes. 

Eileen laughs. "I live here, silly."

"Well, what about the sleepover?"

"My house was way too noisy." Ameia says. 

Eileen nods. "Yeah, so we just came here. You don't mind, do you?"

Louis squints his eyes suspiciously. "Of course not."

She smiles. "Alright. Don't mind us, we're just going to grab a snack."

Louis shakes his head in disbelief and hears Harry call behind him. When he turns around, a shutter nearly blinds him and Harry giggles, beaming behind the camera. 

The couple lie in their bed the following night, when the lights are shut off and everyone's asleep. Except Louis, of course. Who keeps tossing and turning, rustling the sheets. Harry sits up abruptly when he turns for the seventh time, turning the light on. "Louis, would you stop flopping around?!"

Louis props himself on his elbows, his hair a mess. "I will not sleep until I find out how this child tricked me."

"It's over! You saw it with your own eyes that she didn't go to the party, end of story!" Harry exasperates before pulling the light off and lying back down. Louis flicks it back on. "The story isn't over until there's a happy ending, and right now, I'm very unhappy with this ending."

Harry rolls his eyes. "Why is it so hard to believe that Eileen didn't go to the party?"

"Because you didn't hear what I heard." Louis insists, motioning to his ear. Harry mocks a laugh, glaring at him in disbelief. "To me, it seems like the only person that did something wrong here is you." 

"Okay, let's talk about wrong."

"Fine."

"Isn't lying wrong?" 

Harry scoffs. "Of course lying's wrong, Louis. But who lied?"

"She did. When I was eavesdropping, I specifically heard her say she's going to that party, and she didn't go. That is a lie." Louis states.

"That is ridiculous!" Harry exclaims. "And you want to know something else? I think you should apologize."

Louis laughs without any humor. "Apologize? You're crazy. I'll tell you what I will do, I'll do some investigating and get right to the bottom of this."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The next morning everyone gets up around the same time. Louis is already sitting at the table with a manual in his hands when Eileen walks into the dining room, her youngest siblings following behind her. "Dakota, have you seen my pager?" Eileen asks as she takes a seat. 

"I don't know where it is."

"Well, you better find it. I need it." Eileen says meaningfully. "Daddy, would you pass me the pepper?"

Louis obliges, studying her carefully. She couldn't have done it alone, she had to have help. He gazes around the table at his children, starting from the oldest. Junior couldn't have done it, he was having a hard enough time reading the cereal box. Louis flips it right-side up for him and looks up when Harry places Allison and Faith's sippycup on the table. 

Harry had been on Eileen's side from the beginning. Could he have been the double agent? Louis watches as the younger man bends down to grab Avery's toy off the ground, smirking when he catches him looking. Louis returns the smile, but his suspicion stays. He'll have to keep an eye on him. 

The younger ones are unreliable, so Louis overlooks them. Leaving the twins and Phoebe left. If he could bet on them, he would say Phoebe must have helped. All it takes is to wave a couple of bucks in front of her face and she's on your side. Claire and Alice would be trickier, from his personal experience. They're both too lazy to worry themselves with someone else's business. Claire binges Law & Order 24/7 and Alice has too many friends for him to count; all made from some computer game. 

That would leave Delaney or Dakota... but which one? Louis gazes at Delaney first, grimacing as he watches her "subtly" dig in her nose. Dakota sits beside Junior and smiles when she catches his eye. If he were being honest, she would be the only one he could trust. She was too engrossed in the innocence of life, he remembers when Eileen was that innocent. 

He hopes Dakota will never deceive him when she's older-

"Okay, Daddy."

Louis screams and shields his mouth with the paper after. He must have accidentally said that aloud. "I'm sorry... I got really caught up in this article I'm reading." He says. 

"What's it about?" Harry asks from the other side of the room where he was packing the triplets' backpacks. 

Louis turns in his seat, instantly coming up with a lie. "Well, Tennessee's coming up with this amnesty program for criminals. If you confess to a crime before they catch you, and they will catch you," He remarks, not-so-subtly leaning towards Eileen. "They  agree to reduce your punishment."

"Really? I'd like to read that. What page is it on?" Harry inquires in interest and Louis crumbles up the paper when he comes near, standing up. "I don't quite remember. It might've been in yesterday's column." He lies. 

"I think it's stupid. Why confess? Let the law do their job and prove you did it," Eileen speaks up, raising her brows provocatively. "If they can."

"Oh, they can and they will." Louis retorts. 

"Whatever, in my opinion, there's nothing worse than being falsely accused of a crime you didn't commit." She says as she stands up with her finished bowl. 

Louis hums and notices how Dakota's knee was bouncing. Cereal shouldn't be making her anxious. Unless..

The bus wouldn't be arriving for another hour and Dakota was supposed to be at least finished with her shower and dressed. Louis used the excuse of him going to check on the girl when Harry questioned where he was going and knocked. Already, he could hear her squealing behind the door, and when he knocked, she told him to give her a minute. 

He did and opened the door, instantly noticing the bump in her shirt. "What're you doing?" He questions. 

"Nothing, Daddy." 

"Are you eating liquorice?" He quizzes, rounding the bed. "No, Daddy." She answers, despite her chewing on the candy. 

"Is it good?" 

"Yes." She doesn't seem to realize her mistake and Louis smiles. "Why don't you go brush what's left of your teeth."

Dakota agrees and gets off the bed, the liquorice pouring out of her shirt on the way. He crouches down to collect the candy and Harry peeks into the room, unimpressed by his actions. He folds his arms over his chest and enters fully. "You're still sculpting around? Have you found one shred of evidence?"

"I found liquorice." Louis says, holding up the Twizzlers. 

"That doesn't tie her to the party." Harry points out. Louis purses his lips and Harry extends his hand. "Give me the candy, it's over."

A muffled beeping resonates through the room and Louis digs through Dakota's basket of toys to find a pager. "Oh, that's Eileen's pager. She's been looking for it all over the place." Harry says. 

"Yeah, and it's sticky. That explains where Dakota got all that liquorice from, and, look at this." Louis mutters, his eyes glued to the screen. 

"Don't tell me you're reading her personal messages."

"Oh, yeah," Louis confirms. "It's from Ameia. It says, 'Oh my god, what a cool party. Too bad your Dad had to come ruin it for us, he is so lame.'"

Harry shrugs. "I still think it's wrong that you're doing this."

"Maybe you want to read the rest of that message." Louis bribes, holding the DS out for him. Harry sighs and takes the electronic, reading over the screen. "'P.S your mom sure has grown a chest.' " Louis stares at him knowingly and he waives him off. "Whatever, Louis. I wouldn't even mind."

Louis arches an eyebrow. "I thought you wanted to get rid of that after the twins?"

"Well..." Harry trails off. He bites his lip, finding this to be the perfect time to broach the subject. "I want to have another baby."

Louis' mouth falls open. "Are you serious, Harry?" When Harry nods, biting his lip giddily, the older man chuckles. "We already have twelve."

"But they're growing up so fast. Faith already has a boyfriend," Harry pleads. "And I miss kissing baby feet and smelling like baby powder."

Louis raises an eyebrow. "First of all, where'd Faith get a 'boyfriend?' They're not growing up that quick."

Harry laughs lightly, but he's still not done. He tugs on the hem of Louis' shirt to pull him closer, his bottom lip jutting out. "I want to nurse them again, 'nd I want that bump, I want to hold another baby again. Don't you want that?" Louis chuckles, circling his arms around his waist. "Yeah, I missed having a baby in my arms when I was thirty-one," He quips. "And don't you think we have enough on our plates?"

"Junior and Eileen are only a year away from graduating, the twins have started high school, and everyone else is just getting older." Harry complains. 

"You know what I think?" Louis asks. 

"What?"

"You just miss a baby, but you're not going to miss it when they start growing up."

Harry protests. "That's not true." 

Louis hums, but it isn't agreement. "Let's mention last week, getting Audrey ready for school."

"Let's not." 

"Oh, see," Louis counters. "That's exactly why. Do you understand me now?"

Harry grunts, visibly upset. "Fine. Whatever. But I won't forget when you kept begging me to have another baby after Alice and Claire and we ended up having eight more." 

"Blame my sperm, baby." 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis should have known better than to think Harry would leave the idea of another baby alone. All he was trying to do was enjoy a soccer game and now Harry was sighing loudly, purposefully sitting on the bed hard enough that he was propelled. Louis eventually pauses the TV, gazing at him. "Harry, what's going on?"

"You really want to know?" Harry questions, adjusting his satin robe. "Look at me."

Louis glances from the TV and him, clearly struggling to focus simultaneously. When Harry persistently tells him to look, Louis murmurs. "Is this leading to nakedness or just conversation?"

"What do you mean just conversation?" Harry asks, offended. 

"Listen to me, because if this is just conversation, your beauty is way too distracting. But if I just look straight ahead-"

"Yeah, like the TV?"

"I was thinking more of the doorknob, but let's go for the television. I can't look at you and not be mesmerized by your dazzling essence." Harry already knows he's talking a lot of bull, so he takes the remote and puts it in his bralette. "Come on, Louis, I have a problem and I want to talk about it."

Louis smiles. "Okay, let's talk." 

"I'm bored." Harry declares, falling onto the bed. 

"Then watch this game, this is a great-"

"Oh, would you please listen to me? Since I've been out of work, I've cleaned every inch of this house, I cooked everything there is to be cooked, I've done every project, I organized everything from the past seventeen years. Look at this." He gestures to the bins propped on the bedroom bench.

Louis raises an eyebrow and Harry slaps his hand on the lid. "I've organized every child's memory chest."

"They're not old enough to have memories." Louis says. 

Harry rolls his eyes and pulls the lid open, grinning as he raises a worn out fabric. "Doesn't this make you nostalgic? Look at this, it's Junior's big boy drawers."

"Yeah, I remember the big doo doos he left in them." Louis quips. Harry rounds the bed and pulls the lid to one of the bins at the end of the bench. "Avery's first bath alone." He mentions, holding a photograph of the boy, at least two-years-old, sitting in the bathtub with soap suds covering his chin. 

Louis gazes over the photo and reaches into a box. "Hey, remember this guy?"

"Oh, yeah. It's Eileen's E.T doll." Harry says, taking the plush toy from him. "She used to drag this poor thing everywhere."

"That explains her taste in Evan." Louis jokes. 

Harry ignores his comment and takes a seat on the bed. "Anyway, don't you understand my dilemma? There isn't anything to do around here. I wish I was more productive."

"Hey, I got an idea," Louis broaches. "When Man-u has another halftime, I have something for you to do." He says, rubbing his lower back. Harry lifts an eyebrow, craning his neck to look at him. "Like what?"

"Well, it depends on how long the halftime is." Louis says. Harry gets off of the bed and groans. "Louis, come on, I want to talk about stuff." He exasperates

"What stuff?" 

"I don't know! Like- Hey, Lou, are you still having problems with that accounting department at work?"

"Nope," Louis denies. "Got rid of the accountant."

"That really must be an inconvenience." Harry says. 

"Not really."

"Hey, Lou. Remember when you first started the business, I used to do your accounting." He brings up, pacing around the room. Louis nods, recalling it very clearly. "Butt-naked all the time." He includes. 

"I sure miss those days." Harry says, rocking on his feet. 

"I don't know where this is going."

"I want a job." He deadpans. 

Louis raises an eyebrow. "Don't you already have a job?"

"Every once in a while! I want something permanent, something to do all day. I won't have a single day during the week where I'm not working."

Louis reaches out for his chest to 'sneak' grab the remote and Harry quickly covers it, loudly protesting. "H, it's the last minute of the game-"

"That doesn't interest me."

"Okay, how about, instead of me hiring someone from a website, why don't you come in and help out?"

Harry gasps dramatically, his eyes rounding. "You want me to work for you?"

"If it will end this conversation-" Louis doesn't make it to the end of his sentence because Harry crawls onto his lap and cups his cheeks, planting an enthusiastic kiss on his lips. "You are so smart and so wonderful! You know I'm good at numbers. And everyone will already know that I'm sleeping with the boss!" Louis barely has time to react to that remark because he's attacked with a round of kisses, most of them wet and smudged.

Louis successfully sneaks his hand up this time, removing the remote from the crevice of Harry's breasts. "Thank you." He says, pulling away. Harry rolls his eyes, but that was the least of his worries right now. He was going to be working alongside his husband.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

There had to be a few adjustments to their schedule now that Harry would be working diurnally. Niall would be taking Faith and Allison to preschool, wait for the triplets and the twins to safely get on the bus and then pick them up and take them to any after-school activities. To Harry, that was a simple task, as he's been accustomed to a flexible schedule for the past seventeen years, but Niall was dramatic about it. He eventually came around and agreed to it, remembering that he hasn't seen his godchildren in months. 

It was six in the morning and Louis was up, dressed in a suit. He strolls into the kitchen where Junior and Eileen are eating their breakfast together. "Bye, kids." He adieus briefly. 

"Aren't you going to have breakfast?" Junior queries, picking through his omelet. 

"Nope. I have to be on time, your mother wants an early start on work today."

Eileen makes a face. "You guys are going to work together?"

Louis nods in affirmation, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. "Yeah, he's going to be my new accountant."

Harry strides in after, wearing the navy suit that explicitly accentuates his slender figure, his blue blazer embellished with silver bracelets. "Do I look nice?" He breathes, brushing a stubborn curl away from his eyes. His hair's loosely pulled back by a clip, his curls immersed in product. 

"You look perfect." Louis answers. 

"Don't you already have a job?" Eileen questions, cutting her fork through her eggs. Harry shrugs as he adjusts an ornament on the table. "I have too many off-days."

Eileen snorts. "I would be grateful to have weeks off of work."

"Well, darling, some of us have to work hard to keep this lavish lifestyle afloat," Eileen makes a face at Louis' choice of vocabulary. "I can't just rely on my looks like your mother." Harry elbows him lightly and steals a sausage from his daughter, popping it into his mouth. "Alright, guys. I love you! Remember to pick up Dakota and Delaney from the bus stop!" He shouts over his shoulder as he walks to the door. 

They're only five minutes on the road when Harry abruptly stops him with a hand on his shoulder, nearly making Louis swerve the car from how quick he parks it. "Is that Rosalie in the dry cleaners?" Harry points through the window, looking back at him. 

"You pulled me through three lanes of traffic to see if Rosalie's in there?" Louis summarizes in disbelief. 

"Yes, now I can run in there and see if she got that wine stain out of our table cloths." Harry explains, moving to unbuckle his seat belt, but Louis stops him. "I didn't get up an hour early to run errands."

"But this is very efficient. Then, I won't have to fight for a parking space." Harry emphasizes. 

"Well, I do." 

The younger man sighs and leans back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. "Fine. Since I'm disturbing your morning rituals."

"You disturbed them when you woke me up two hours early."

"I want to be on time." Harry defends. 

"You won't be on time if you check the dry cleaning." Louis retorts. 

Harry ticks his jaw as he gazes out the window. "Fine, Louis. I already said so." Louis examines him under scrutiny, noting how the younger man promptly avoids eye contact. He absently drops his hand on the council and loops his finger around Harry's pointer, watching how his lip curls up and the slightest dimple pops out. 

When they arrive at Louis' job, Harry's enthused, digging his fingernails into his arm when the doors open. Louis had been working here for ten years before he was assigned CEO, the position he's kept for the past four years. Harry has visited the building every once in a while, but this would be the first time he's stayed an entire day, apart from the quickies they've had in the past. "Did you guys change the glass?" Harry recognizes, the moment the automatic doors open. 

Louis chuckles. "How do you remember that?"

Harry shrugs as Louis urges him forward, keeping a steady hand on the small of his back. Louis introduces him to some of his employees, but one of them blatantly stands out because of the prominent baby bump beneath her purple dress. "This is Justine, she's the software engineer. She's really goo-"

Harry gasps. "Are you pregnant?" Louis frowns after being interrupted and Justine smiles, albeit bewildered, confirming his question. "Oh, that's amazing! How far along are you?" Justine eases into the conversation, chatting fondly about the baby on the way, a mighty eight months in. When she includes that information, Harry whistles. "Eight months? I couldn't even work six months in."

"How many kids do you have?" Justine asks obliviously. 

"Twelve." Harry chirps. The woman's eyes widen and he smiles at the typical reaction. "Twelve?" She repeats. "How do you have twelve children and still keep your figure in shape?" 

Harry laughs and glances down at himself. "This is just shapewear and a little bit of yoga. I don't mind it, though. I actually want another." He comments, sharing a look with his husband. Louis is visibly unimpressed, but Harry ignores him, a gaily smile on his lips.

"Wow," Justine mumbles. "well, it was nice meeting you. If you need any help, you can always come to find me. But I'm sure Mr. Tomlinson will be there." Louis offers her a polite smile and waits for her to leave the room. "I thought we were finished with this topic?" He whispers when she's gone, although there's no need to be quiet. 

"It doesn't mean I'm not still thinking about it." Harry murmurs, observing Louis' office. Louis props his hands on his hips, eyeing the man down as he audaciously disregards his gaze, focusing on the company trophies perched on the shelves. Finally, he clicks his tongue. "Why don't I give you your first assignment right now? You can go check the funds for our last project, yeah? Can you do that?"

Harry squints his eyes at the man, as if to decipher whether or not he was being sarcastic before he agreed. Louis showed him to his own office, a little soiled after being empty for so long, but it's nothing he can't work with⎯Louis thinks. And anyway, Harry gave him his award winning smile, the one that showed all rows of his teeth and miles-deep dimples. Louis took that as a good sign and returned to his office, organizing a brief meeting with one of their newest truck drivers, Conan. 

It's going well for a while, Louis shows him a layout of the town, explaining where he would have to go as an easier route, when Harry saunters into the office. His hands are full with a large, overflowing box, and he places it on Louis' desk. "Hi, baby."

Louis arches an eyebrow. "What are these?" He questions when Harry starts pulling out random folders. "These are all my files."

"I know. Why're they here?"

Harry scoffs. "Have you been in that accounting office lately? It's all dusty and dingy, I mean, who could work there?" He complains. 

"Accountants?" Louis replies jeeringly. 

Harry waives him off and beelines around the table to pull out a chair. "Yeah, well, this is much nicer." He says. 

"Are you kicking me out of my office?"

"Of course not," Harry exasperates as he takes a seat and points out. "You're going to sit on this side and I'll sit on this side." He explains. 

"That doesn't work, Harry."

Harry rolls his eyes. "Of course it will work." He says and starts arranging the pencil holders for more room. "Move over for me, please." He tells Conan, scooting until the younger boy's at the tip of his seat and corner of the desk. Conan looks at his boss helplessly, said man shaking his head. 

Harry takes a pencil and begins jotting down a few things. When he acknowledges the eerie silence, he lifts his head. "You guys can continue." 

Louis sighs and opens his mouth, just as the telephone starts ringing. He accepts the call and removes it from his ear. "It's for you." He tells Harry. 

"Oh okay-" Louis lifts his eyebrows pointedly and Harry pokes his tongue on the inside of his mouth. "I'll just take that in my office."

"Good idea." Louis quips. Harry leaves the room and Conan finally speaks. "How'd this happen?"

"There were three seconds left of the game, Anthony had the ball, he had the remote." Louis summarizes. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

A few days into working at Louis' company and Harry's already forming a friendship with Conan. Although, the younger boy probably only likes him because he's so cheerful and less grim than Louis. On one particular afternoon, Harry ambles around the break room, Conan holding a can of Pepsi as the older man talks. "What do you say we paint this weekend?" He suggests.

"Yes, sir." Conan responds. He stops. "Just me?"

"No, all the guys." Harry corrects. "We'll have a paint party, I'll bake cookies. It'll be great." Conan agrees like the suck-up he is and sits down at the table. Louis walks into the room a moment later, picking a sticky note from the frame of the doorway.  "What are these things around the office? I see them everywhere." 

"They're just gentle reminders." Harry says. 

"Feet on the floor, not on the table. Don't be a grouch, I know that you're able." Louis reads, just as Harry walks over to slap Conan's legs off the table. "And where's Feeny? He's not in the software office."

"I gave him a personal day off." Harry answers. 

"You what?"

"Yes! It's his seventh wedding anniversary. We have to send him something from the company as a gift." Harry says, stroking his jaw thoughtfully. 

"We do send him something. It's called a paycheck."

Conan buds in. "You know, they have some beautiful candlesticks down at Shining Sol."

"Do they? You know what, pick those up for me too." Harry requests and Conan quickly stands dutifully. "Yes, sir. That way, when I get your baguettes, they won't be stale."

Harry smiles proudly, Louis' eyebrows furrowing. "We do not use trucks to run errands." He reminds. 

"I know-"

"You know what? Conan, forget that assignment. Your break was over five minutes ago." He emphasizes.

"Actually I gave the guys an extra fifteen minutes." Harry informs. 

"And why?"

Harry replies like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Because I thought that it would make them more productive."

"Well, H, you know they're only truck drivers when they're driving trucks."

"I'm feeling a little more tranquil." Conan adds, rolling his shoulders for good measure. Harry folds his arms over his chest, as if that proves his point and Louis smiles disingenuously. "Really? I heard that it only takes five minutes to write a departure form."

"Would you look at the time!" Conan exclaims, hastily leaving the room.

Harry resumes stacking a few papers on the desk and Louis sighs. "Harry, you cannot come into here and undermine my authority like this."

"It's my authority, too." Harry claims.

"And how's it your authority?" Louis asks, as two of his employees enter the room. "We're partners, remember?" Harry sneers. 

"Yeah. At life, in love, in bed. Here, this is work. We're not partners here." Louis clarifies. 

"Then why do we share an office?"

"We don't share an office. You're trespassing in my office."

Harry becomes defensive. "Hey, you hired me. Remember?"

"No, I didn't hire you. I asked you to come in and help out because you were bored at home." Louis counters, the two employees looking between them as they go back and forth. 

"You know what? We don't even have to discuss this right now."

"Good."

"Because we have all ride home and all night long to hash this out." Harry declares, walking out of the office. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis loves his husband, he does. He's just unfortunately driving him nuts with how he's reordering everything around, refusing to be in his own office, and pestering him about a baby. It's distracting him from his real work, and he enjoys having Harry by his side, he truly does. But if he finds one more sticky note with some remark about 'feet on the tables' or some other unsanctioned rule, he's going to go insane. He just wants to let Harry down easily. He knows how much Harry was looking forward to this, and he understands if the younger man has been bored at home. They have quite an empty nest at the moment, but he's not going to refill that nest. That element is purely and absolutely closed. 

Harry is trying to get Avery to watch E.T after the boy begins to have an underlying fear for the toy alien when Louis peaks into the living room. "H, I made you some tea." He informs. Harry smiles fondly, walking towards him. "Oh, thank you."

Harry accepts the mug and takes a seat at the table, appearing thoughtful. "Oh, you know what? This reminds me, we should set up those paper cups in the drivers lounge. On our way to work, let's stop at Pottery Barn and pick up some nice ceramic mugs." He blathers.

"Okay, Harry." Louis stops him, placing a gentle hand on his back. Harry smiles back at him, looking expectantly. "You're fired."

"What?" Harry gasps. 

"I have to let you go."

"Come again?"

"No, don't come again." Louis says. Harry stands up from his chair, his lips parted in disbelief. "Wait a minute. You're actually firing me?"

"Yes," Louis affirms. "But with love. Listen, this work is coming between you and I. We're being hurt by this. I'm not doing it for me, I'm doing it for us." He says, babbling nonsense at this point. He's just trying to make it sound better, but Harry obviously doesn't see it as that. "Oh. Oh really? Okay, well, you know what? I sure hope us is going to be happy sleeping on the couch."

The next morning, Harry is placing fresh waffles on everyone's plates. Everyone but Louis'. Louis frowns when the steaming, sweet flavored breakfast isn't on his plate. And he loves Harry's waffles. "Don't I get one?" He pouts. 

"Oh, I wasn't accounting on you eating." Harry snides, picking up his fork. Louis glares at him, unmoved by his husband's immaturity. "Oh, come on, Harry. Don't do this to me."

"Don't worry. I don't have any intentions of doing anything to you anymore." Harry mutters in a sotto voce. Eileen and Junior exchange a look between one another before she turns out of her seat. "Okay, I'm going to school." She announces. 

"Me too." 

 Louis reaches to take Junior's waffle and Harry quickly snatches it, including Eileen's. "Well, since there's no food, I guess I'll get a coffee." Louis voices, standing from the table. Harry watches him leave with a glare, crossing his arms over his chest. Louis only shuts the door for a moment before he strides back in and complains. "H, this is stupid."

"You hurt my feelings." Harry laments softly. 

"I know, and I'm sorry. But I didn't know what else to do. I mean, even Junior told me I should fire you."

Harry sighs. "I'm serious. I thought I was doing great things, for your employees, for your business-"

"Baby, you're smart and you're capable. And I'm so lucky to have you as my partner."

The younger man's eyes sparkle. "Partner? Does that mean you're hiring me back?"

"Yes." Louis breathes. Harry splits into a radiant grin, bouncing excitedly in his seat. "But you've got to understand that at work, I'm the boss. Okay?"

Harry nods in agreement and squeezes his hand. "Okay." Louis smiles and kisses him shortly, heading for the door. "Oh, and Louis?"

"Yes?"

"Grab the trash on your way out." Harry tells him, lifting his fork. 

"Yes, my Queen."

Chapter Text

"Marcus Short already has a girlfriend." Junior says.

Eileen squints her eyes at her brother from across the table, glaringly disagreeing. "No he doesn't. They're just friends."

"Uh-uh. Kenzie Parker is his girlfriend."

Eileen scoffs, leaning back in her chair. "Please, she's all used up." She comments and shoves some cereal in her mouth. It was the weekend and Harry occasionally cooks breakfast, but that was unlikely this time around. He's supposed to be away for the next six weeks with their grandmother. He's not gone yet, but he's a procrastinator and he's been packing for the past week. That leaves most of the kids alone, which explains why Audrey's currently sitting over the sink and hosing down the window. 

"That's not what I heard." Junior mutters. Louis strolls into the kitchen then, completely missing the fact that their five year old is drowning their window in water, and intentionally ignoring his eldest children's argument, which seems to just keep getting louder. "Well you heard wrong. Kenzie's been out with everybody."

"I haven't been out with her." Junior argues.

Eileen laughs without humor. "Even Kenzie has standards." She quips before adding, "Loser."

Junior stands up. "Oh really?" 

"Yeah really." 

Harry comes down the stairs, only to see the commotion of the lower floor. Eileen has Junior in a headlock, Louis is just pretending that they're not even there, more focused on pouring himself a bowl of pretzels, and Audrey's still drenching the window. He can't even have an hour to himself without some kind of mess going on. "Hey! Sit down, now." He shouts. The two oblige and he goes to complain to Louis, only to spot Audrey on the windowsill. 

He dashes to the sink and gently coaxes the faucet out of the girl's hand. She thankfully lets go without a fight, even smiling angelically. Harry shakes his head and glares at his husband in disbelief. "Hello? Did you not see what was going on here?"

"Yeah, the kids are playing, and so is Manchester." Louis says, lifting his snack board off of the table. Harry rolls his eyes and carefully hoists Audrey in his arms. The five year old clings onto him the moment he has her, wrapping her limbs around him like a koala. He grins. "Alright, big girl. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Lucky Charms!" 

Harry hums and pecks her cheek. "Junior, make your sister a bowl of Lucky Charms, please." He tells his son, sitting Audrey down in a chair. Junior groans childishly. "I just got attacked by my sister and now I have to interact with another?" 

"Make your sister a bowl of cereal." Harry repeats. The younger boy sighs when he sees his mother's expression, but he knows better than to defy him. Harry ensures he gets out of his seat before following where Louis had gone, finding his husband in front of the TV. He takes a seat on the ottoman in front of him, staring at him seriously. "Louis, you know I hate it when you don't listen to me."

"Huh?"

Harry glares at him. "We work all week long. Saturday is supposed to be family day." He reminds. 

"I know. I want to spend it with my MLS family." Louis says, offering him a brief glance before eating a handful of popcorn. Harry's markedly unimpressed. He stands up and grabs the remote, clicking the TV off. "I'm not going away until you listen to me."

"Then why don't you plug the cable in your ear and I'll watch it on your behind." Louis suggests and leans back to peek at his fitting boyshorts. Harry spins around, narrowing his eyes. "Louis, seriously! I feel like every time I try to talk to you, you tune me out."

"Well I feel like every time I try to relax, you think that's a signal to give me something to do." Louis counters. 

Harry scoffs a laugh. "Because there's always something to do in this house. The kids aren't going to entertain themselves." Louis opens his mouth to retort and he quickly follows. "Without a tablet. I'm not going to have them be like those sticky children you see in the store." He says, grimacing at the thought of it. 

"Okay, fine. I can watch the game with one of our children." Louis decides. Harry purses his lips as he watches the older man call out for Adeline. Which, in his opinion, is unfair. Louis already knows how much of a princess she is, she would do anything he says in a heartbeat. As summoned, Adeline comes trotting down the stairs, dressed in her Sleeping Beauty gown and bedecked in jewelry that looks awfully like Harry's. 

"Hey, Adeline. What're you going to do today?" Louis asks. 

"Flush."

He chuckles. "After you flush, what are you going to do?"

"I want to watch My Little Pony." She enthuses, a wide grin on her face. Louis smiles as well. "You can't," Harry rolls his eyes as he listens to his husband's excuse. "because the ponies are at home watching the Manchester game. Just like you and I will."

"You don't have to, Addy. You can watch it on my phone." He intervenes, fishing the device out of his pocket. When Adeline skips away, Louis raises his eyebrows mockingly. "Oh, no. Don't even try that. I had to give her my phone because you don't want to give up the TV." Harry dissents, pointing an accusing finger. 

"You didn't have to give her the phone. She could have gone outside or something. Spin around until she falls down."

"Louis!"

Louis laughs but he puts a pause to his jokes for the younger man. "Alright. What's really wrong?" Harry frowns. "What do you mean?" 

"I know you like spending time on Saturdays, but not this much. What's up?" Harry sighs, knowing he can't hold it out any longer. He falls onto Louis like dead weight, grinning at the 'oof'  he pushed out of the man beneath him. "My mom wants me to visit." He murmurs, nosing at his husband's neck. 

Louis hums, rubbing a soft pattern on Harry's side. He knows that Harry and his mother's relationship has become estranged during the last few years. It was unusual because they had been so close. However, pregnancies seemed to be a sore spot for the woman. Especially when it just kept... happening. Harry was reasonably moody following the birth of Junior and Eileen. They were closely born and for a seventeen year old, that's a lot to handle. Louis could never understand how Harry felt, but he was there to witness and experience it. The more their children got older, the more Anne and Harry's relationship strained until it was completely broken after they moved out. 

They rekindled about three years ago, but it was still hard for Harry to reconcile and act like everything was alright. That explained the reason why Harry wanted family time. He needed it for the trip. "Are you going there alone?" Louis asks, smiling under the soft kisses Harry planted on his neck. 

Harry snorts. "Yeah. You know we only bring everyone for holidays."

"It doesn't hurt to ask. Do you need anything? Maybe a massage?"

Harry affirms with purr and closes his eyes. "Yeah? What kind?" Louis questions. A roguish smirk takes over his lips and he leans forward to murmur in his husband's ear. "Prostate." He giggles when he hears Louis' faltering sigh and leans back, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

"Don't start something you won't finish." Louis scolds. 

"You know I'm not one to leave you unfinished." Harry replies meaningfully. Louis' hand snakes under his shirt, wandering hands finding their way to the globes of his ass. Harry laughs again and grabs his wrists. "After I make lunch."

"Harry." Louis groans when the younger man climbs off of him. Harry s, looking over his shoulder as he heads for the foyer. "You were being very rude earlier." He reminds. 

"Forgive and forget?"

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry puts down a plate of fish sticks in front of Allison and presses a kiss to her chubby cheek. Being the last one, he pulls off his oven mits and hangs them over the handle of the stove. "Mommy!" Avery calls urgently. Harry walks towards him curiously and he smiles. "Mommy, I lost another tooth!" 

Harry gasps almost melodramatically. He loves it when the kids start losing their teeth because it's such a large milestone. "Really? Do you want me to count how many adult teeth you have?" Avery nods and opens his mouth. Harry lightly holds his chin in his hands as he counts. "You have ten whole teeth in your mouth." He celebrates. 

"That's more than grandma, right?"

Harry chuckles and brushes the boy's bangs back to give him a kiss. "Can Evan and I stay out more than two hours on Friday?" Eileen asks as she walks into the dining room. 

 "Nope." 

Eileen exasperates. "Two hours is not enough. Even Allison and Faith have longer play dates than that."

"That's because they're not a horny teenager." Harry responds with the same amount of exasperation. Eileen folds her arms over her chest and glares. "I'm going to get old and gray in this house." She complains before stepping off the ramp. 

"I have some stuff that really works well for that." Louis quips as she passes by him. Eileen just glares harder and bustles past him. "What's her problem?" Louis jeers. 

Harry shakes his head while pouring the twins a cup of apple juice. "Nothing you need to worry about." He says and twists the top to the bottle. "What you need to worry about is figuring out what you're going to do with everyone else if you want a night alone with me." 

Louis waives him off. "That's easy." Harry purses his lips as if he doesn't believe him and he wiggles his finger, telling him to wait. He crouches down beside Avery, looking at all of his younger children. "How would you guys feel if Junior took you to Chuck E. Cheese?"

"Chuck E.!" Faith cheers, clapping her hands. Allison parrots her, and everyone around the table seems to agree with the plan. "Awesome! Now all you guys have to do is put on some shoes and wait in the living room for your brother." He instructs. Harry smiles amusingly when his husband approaches him. "You know Junior is not taking them to Chuck E. Cheese." 

"Oh, yes he is." 

"How so?"

"Because I said so." Louis predictably says. The corner of Harry's eyes crinkle and he cradles Louis' jaw. "Yeah? Well, you get everyone dressed, not just shoes. And I'll be waiting for you in the bed."

"Clothes or no clothes?" 

"That's debatable." Harry snickers when Louis glowers at him and lightly slaps his cheek. "Go on." 

Kicking the kids out is surprisingly an easy task. Junior has no choice but to take all seven children out, and the image of their son working like a single mom is amusing. Eileen easily agrees to take the rest of the girls out to the mall. It was a free shopping trip, and Harry even gave his card. He trusts that she'll spend it wisely. Now that the house was empty, Harry dresses himself in the red lingerie set he was gifted last Christmas. He fluffs his hair out over his shoulders and sits on his ankles, patiently waiting for Louis to enter the bedroom. 

He hears the front door shut and quick footsteps, making him laugh. Shortly after, the bedroom door opens and Louis throws his jacket off. A second later, Louis is standing above him, trying to pull his fly down. Harry gently grabs his wrist with a smile. "Easy tiger."

"You can't tell me to calm down when you look like that." Louis breathes, reaching up to grope one of his breasts. Harry laughs and allows himself to be pushed back until he is sprawled on the bed. Louis crawls between his legs and pushes them apart, positioning himself so he can rub their crotches together. Louis swallows his moan in a kiss, one of his hands fondling his breast and the other placed on his neck. 

Harry blindly cups the volume in Louis' jeans and breaks away from their kiss. "Take off your clothes."

Louis doesn't have to hear it twice. He swiftly undresses himself from the top down, leaving only his boxers on. He climbs back on top of the thirty-two year old and attacks his ivory skin, sucking violet marks onto his neck. Harry arches his back into the touch, trying to bring friction to his hard on. "Did I tell you how gorgeous you look in this set?" Louis comments, snapping the straps of his bralette. 

 "I love you." Harry whimpers. Louis seals their lips again, hungrily licking inside of his mouth. They become feverish and rushed, and while Louis originally planned to take his time⎯ he doesn't know how much longer he can hold off. Especially when he looks like that in lace. It's carnal from there on, and it's impossible for Harry to even try to stay still when he's dripping with desire. Literally. 

After what feels like forever, Louis pushes his panties aside to graze his aching hole, and that's when the front door slams shut and a commotion resonates through the house. Harry groans in frustration at the sound of clamorous footsteps ascending up the stairs until fists bang on the door. "Mommy!" Adeline screams. 

Harry throws his head back, earning a chuckle from his husband. "Shut up." He grumbles before getting off the bed. He hastily pulls on his shorts and wraps his robe around his torso, gently shouting back for his daughter to wait. When he pulls it open, Adeline stamps her foot. "Junior is mean! He said that he would my doll would eat my head while I'm asleep!" 

Harry rolls his eyes in disturbance and hoists the girl into his arms. "Baby, ignore your brother. He's just being... an idiot."

"You said idiot is a bad word." Adeline reminds. 

"Not when it's your brother." He mumbles, stomping down the stairs to complain to his son. However, when he makes it downstairs, he's met with chaos. Junior's pacing back and forth, Allison's sobbing on the ground, and Avery's got the largest pee stain in his pants. 

He unfortunately has to come to terms that they will not be left alone this evening. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry stands at the counter, opening a can of Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls. He has yet to be satisfied before his trip to his moms, and the countdown's only diminishing. Every possible problem is coming their way. First, Faith has gotten sick with the flu, that he's positive she's gotten from the damned daycare she goes to. Avery has suddenly started having bathroom problems (and Harry prays he won't end up peeing in the bed until fourteen like Junior did) and speaking of his eldest son, he won't stop tormenting Adeline about her doll. 

Honestly, he feels like his head could explode, and that's not how he planned to spend the week before leaving. Faith sits at the dining table, swallowing down her orange juice. She's refused to leave Harry's side ever since she got sick; which Harry isn't exactly sure why, but he doesn't mind. 

"Good morning, my loves." Louis exclaims as he enters the room. Harry offers a small smile, accepting a kiss to the cheek as he focuses on placing the cinnamon rolls onto a pan. 

Faith swings her legs in her chair, smiling jejunely. "Good morning, Daddy."

"Hey, sweetie. Where's Claire?"

"She's on her computer." Harry answers, striding to the fridge to grab the cream cheese. "Again?" Louis complains. "She's on that damn thing all day and all night."

Harry rolls his eyes at his dramatics. "It's for her homework. She has a Shakespeare project." Louis huffs out a laugh as he pours himself some coffee. "That's what she tells you, but I know what goes on on that internet." He says knowingly, taking a seat with Faith at the table. 

"And what goes on?" Harry entertains. 

"It's a virtual sex shop."

Harry props a hand on his hip. "And how would you know?"

Louis blanks for a moment, making Harry lift his eyebrows. "No, no. You know, I wanted to redo the floors and I typed in hardwood. Apparently there's a lot of prisoners that are into flooring." Harry laughs ungraciously and trudges back to the kitchen to put the cinnamon rolls in the oven. He isn't worried about Claire at all. He trusts that she'll be safe on the internet, plus, she's old enough to tell right from wrong. And it's not like he doesn't check her computer every two weeks. 

Junior steps inside the room, courteously dressed in a grey suit. Harry cocks an eyebrow, considerably impressed by his son's attire. "What're you all handsome for?" Junior takes the coffee pitcher from his father and pours himself a cup. "Well, since it's my first official day at work and Dad pointed out that my name's already on the company signed; I concluded that I should step into the executive ranks." 

Louis nods along to what Junior says, deciding to play along. "Oh, you did?" 

Junior verifies with a hum. "Yeah, because the fact of the matter is, you're not going to be around forever. Sooner or later, you'll get a terrible disease, or have a heart attack, or grow a tumor, or get in a car accident-"

"Or maybe I can just die naturally." Louis proposes. 

Junior makes a noise in his throat, not quite agreeing. "Eh. A sadder backstory sounds much better." 

Harry smiles from inside the kitchen and approaches his son. "I really do admire your confidence, son, but you can't step into a management position like that." He asserts. Louis chuckles in amusement and squeezes Junior's shoulder. "No, I think he has a point." He muses. Harry glares at him in scrutiny, seeing behind the front he's putting. Harry already knows Louis is going to give Junior a shitty job. Who's he to stop it?

 He gives Louis a pointed look before focusing on Faith. "Come on, honey. Let's go take some cough medicine." Faith sinks in her chair querulously, a clear refusal. Harry raises his eyebrows sternly and Faith huffs, getting out of her seat. 

"I hope you have a good day at work, June." Harry wishes, knowing he'll need it. Faith trots heavily behind him as they head upstairs. For such a little girl, she sure makes herself sound louder, making her annoyance known. Just as he's about to push open the bathroom door, Delaney exits, damp ringlets touching her shoulders. 

"Hi, baby. Did you wash your belly button?" 

Delaney bites her lip guiltily and Harry smiles, steering her back into the bathroom. He gives Faith her medicine and helps Delaney get washed up. Avery not only pees in the bed, but pees in his new trousers as well, right after using the bathroom. Harry doesn't understand what's going on with the five year old, but he's starting to get a hunch that these aren't accidents. After changing Avery into a new outfit and helping Allison brush her teeth, he manages to get everyone downstairs to eat breakfast. 

The only person that he'll be spending the day with is Faith. And still, he is yet to have time alone. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊

Harry's trying to focus on the spreadsheet in front of him when he hears hurried footsteps down the stairs. "Mommy, help me! Claire's trying to kill me!" Audrey exclaims. Harry looks over the couch and sighs. "Audrey, don't run down the stairs." He scolds. Audrey scrambles onto his lap and wraps her arms around his shoulders, shifting all over him. Harry grunts softly and pushes her hair out of the way to look at Claire. "What's going on?"

"She was using my eyeliner to draw with!" Claire says. 

"I was coloring and I needed to make the monster look ugly," Audrey explains to her mother. "It works with Claire." 

Claire's mouth falls open and Harry reproaches Audrey. "Now what did Daddy tell you about going through your sister's things?"

"Don't get caught."

Harry sighs, trying to keep the situation intact. "Audrey, go upstairs, please." 

The girl pouts. "Am I in trouble?"

"No, I'm going to speak to your sister. And after, I'll need to speak to you as well." He chastises. Audrey frowns, but gets off his lap, heading to the stairs. Once she's gone and presumably in her room, Harry ushers Claire to sit next to him. "Claire, you are fifteen years old, your sister just turned five; I don't need you threatening her life for at least another three years." He says, collecting his papers off of the table to put back in its folder.

Claire places her hands on her hips, huffing in annoyance. "Can I go now?"

He stops shuffling and frowns."What's the matter with you?" 

"Nothing."

 "Don't tell me nothing, you've been in a funky mood for days."

Claire crosses her arms over her chest. "I am fifteen years old and you keep treating me like I'm a little kid." 

Harry furrows his brows. "Okay, I'm lost. Did I not just tell you to act like an adult with your sister?"

"Did you know that everybody in my class has a nine o'clock curfew and I have to be in by seven? Like I'm a child."

"Well, you're certainly acting like one." Harry retorts. The front door opens, revealing Louis and Junior, whose suit is surprisingly still intact. Louis smiles and opens his arms. "No hugs, no kiss, no backflips?"

Claire comes over to give him a hug and Harry arches an eyebrow. "How about me?"

"Bye." She mutters over her shoulder. 

Harry pokes his tongue on his cheek and Louis smiles suggestively. "What about you? There's room left." Harry rolls his eyes and stands from the couch. "Stay away from me." Louis frowns from the sudden change of behavior⎯ the younger man was quite literally begging for sex a few hours ago⎯ and follows after him. "I can't get a hug?"

"No."

"Can I squeeze your butt?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

Harry stuffs his folder into his duffel bag, aggressively holding it upright. "Because your children are driving me crazy." He declares. He feels Louis' arms snake around his waist and he breaks away. "No, because they look just like you."

Junior awkwardly stands in the corner, knowing he looks near identical to his father. "Well, my day was great." He boasts, trying to lift the mood. "I didn't think I'd make it through, but I toughed it out."

Harry sighs, feeling a little guilty for not giving his son attention. "You did?"

Louis smiles and reaches out to pat Junior's back. "He sure did. He didn't complain once, he just put his head down and did his job."

Harry furrows his brows in confusion. "Where did you work? Were you a personnel, an account.."

"Toilets." Junior states proudly as he takes a seat at the table. 

"What?" He looks up at Louis, baffled. 

Junior sits up and grins proudly. "It wasn't so bad, Mom. I didn't even get my suit dirty."

"Yeah. As a matter of fact, how'd you do that?" Louis quizzes. 

"I did exactly what you said. I took it off, put it on a hook, got on my knees, and started scrubbing; butt naked." 

The visual of that makes Harry sick. Louis, however, ignores it and squeezes Junior's shoulder again. "I'm proud of you. Tomorrow, I'll put you on the loading dock, since you did so great on the unloading dock." Junior beams up at him and declares his departure, claiming that tomorrow would be an even better day. And while Harry's glad Junior had fun, he just can't believe Louis had his son cleaning toilets. 

"Really, Louis?"

"He's going to be graduating in eight months. I have to be tough." Louis explains. He encroaches on Harry and puts his hands on his hips, staring sternly at his husband. "Now, what's the matter with you?"

Harry sighs loudly and points behind him. "I can't seem to tell little miss attitude anything. And look⎯ look what came in the mail today. Your son's latest test scores." He says, dropping the paper onto the table. Louis grabs the paper and observes it. "A sixty-one? That's not bad." Harry shakes his head and flips it on the right side. Louis' eyes widen when he reads it. "Nineteen?" 

"What in the world is wrong with that boy?" Harry inquires. 

Louis puts the paper down on the table, crossing his arms over his chest. "See, this is why my idea of cleaning toilets is good for him. He'll need it on his application when he's looking for a minimum wage job." Harry slaps his shoulder. "Would you have at least a little faith in him!" He rebukes. 

"I'm just being optimistic." Louis shrugs. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊

Harry sighs tiredly as he enters the bedroom, where Louis is comfortably sitting on the bed, laptop propped on his legs. Harry shuts the door behind him and starts pulling off his shirt. "Avery has at least five dirty drawls in one day and Claire is driving me crazy." He complains, collapsing onto the bed. Louis smiles consciously and sets his computer on the nightstand. "I think I may have something to cheer you up." He says persuasively. 

Harry grumbles into the bed sheets. "I don't think I'll ever see your penis again." 

"Don't be so doubtful." Louis says, pressing a light kiss to his neck. "It's almost midnight. If we waste less time, maybe I'll be able to rim you."

Harry makes a soft noise and Louis smirks. "Yeah?" Harry rolls over onto his back, already beginning to kick off his sweats. "Just hurry up." He shudders when Louis' warm tongue breaches his hole, continuously teasing around his rim and making him wet. He bites his lip to try and contain his moans, consciously spreading his legs to give his husband more room. 

It feels heavenly to finally get something he's wanted for so long. Although he may not be in lingerie or giving a gracious goodbye like he planned to, this is certainly worth enough. He's already getting riled up at the simple drag of Louis' tongue⎯ nearly kicks out when Louis' teeth grazes the sensitive area. Louis begins to deliberately kiss and suck at the tight entrance, his thumbs rubbing consolable circles on his inner thighs to help loosen his hole. Harry lets out a sigh, which later turns into a moan, when Louis holds him open to lick at his entrance. 

It's like all the stress from the day dissipates into nothing and every muscle in his body shuts down. The only thing he can focus on is the tongue that teases him more and more until his body allows it inside. The moment it starts moving, he can't restrain his noises any longer. He shudders at every flick and stroke inside of him and moans particularly loud when Louis hums against his hole, causing a delirious vibration on both his insides and throughout his body. It takes one more second for him to reach out and grab onto his husband's feathery hair, tugging on it the further Louis' tongue enters.

"Fuck, I can't--" He gets cut off by another strident moan, squeezing his legs tightly together, effectively trapping Louis between them. And he doesn't even mind. He just keeps lapping at Harry's hole, going at a calculative leisure pace; one he knows will pique his thirst. Harry feels his orgasm building, from the way his cock flexes on his stomach and his insides swirl. He grunts softly and pulls Louis away by the hair, despite his protesting hole. 

Louis raises an eyebrow curiously, but Harry can't even give an answer. He stares shamelessly, leaking more at the tingling sensation where Louis' beard once met and Louis' recalcitrant appearance. "I want you inside me." He clarifies, which doesn't need much more explaining because Louis immediately reaches out for the bedside table, digging through the drawers for their bottle of lube. 

Harry bites back a smile, hearing the cap pop open. He shifts up on the bed, getting into a comfortable position. He doesn't even have to ask Louis to, the older man automatically grabbing another pillow to prop under his back. Preparation doesn't take much time, as Harry's particularly impatient, and rightfully so. Louis only gets down to two fingers before Harry urges him to "get inside already," and when Louis cautiously asks if he's sure, he sarcastically responds, "Unless you want to wait until I get the same amount of grey hairs as you."

The drag hurts for a little as he adjusts to girth⎯ but the pain soon subsides to pleasure and he satiates into the merriment of finally getting what he's been anticipating. Louis assuages into a relentless, but steady pace; tugging Harry's body up the bed at every grating thrust. Harry really does try to keep his eyes open and allow the moment to be more intimate, but it's almost impossible from the way Louis punches into his prostate each time he reenters him. He rolls his eyes shut when Louis' thrusts become harder, locking his legs around the man's waist to pull him closer. 

Louis connects their lips after staring at them for so long, immediately licking inside his velvety mouth. Harry's cries are barely contained, regardless of the lips occupying his own. He lasts a few kisses before his jaw goes slack, unable to hold himself back any longer. However, before he can get louder, Louis covers his mouth. The only sound that escaped were muffled whines. Harry digs his nails into Louis' hips painfully, but despite that sensation, Louis' thrusts are unfaltering. He starts to pick up when Harry pleads almost incoherently for him to move harder, and he happily obliges. 

The headboard starts to knock against the wall, but Harry doesn't have a coherent enough mind to pay attention to it. His hedonism is insatiable as his orgasm rouses more and more, practically on the edge of releasing. His hole clenches uncontrollably, urging Louis to buck his hips harder. And he's there, he's almost fucking there, he can feel his hole pulsing and his hips bucking⎯ he just needs a little more pressure to his prostate and he's sure he'll be able to come undone. 

But then the worst thing admissible happens when the thudding comes from the door instead of the bed, and a voice that belongs to neither of them breaks their space. "Mommy!"

Harry groans and drags his nails up Louis' back irritably. Louis exhales loudly, sweat dripping from his temple. When he makes a move to peel away, Harry grips him harder. "You better finish."

"Wouldn't that make us bad parents-"

"Louis, I swear to god."

Okay. Alright, he can do this. Louis settles his hands on each side of Harry's head and captures his lips in an enthusiastic kiss, knowing he's going to need to keep him quiet somehow. He pistons his hips, fucking him urgently, as fast as he could go. And, well, Harry can't even complain. Louis hides his face in the crook of Harry's sweaty neck, biting onto his shoulder to hold back his own moans. 

The bed just seems to keep getting louder, against modesty. Harry exhales choppily, his breath getting caught in his chest, his insides twisting every time Louis thrusts sharply. He tightly clings onto Louis' body in an attempt to make him slide deeper, as if it were possible. But Louis was only focused on making him come, forgetting the fact that he was dangerously close himself. He did every tactic to buoy Harry closer to orgasm, sucking hickeys on his neck, which didn't work for long because he had to quickly shut Harry up when he moaned. 

Perhaps it was the adrenaline⎯ no, it definitely was⎯ Harry could feel his heartbeat faltering. But between gasps and kisses and the slap of their flesh together, he spilled all over his stomach. It was lengthy and long awaited, made him shudder and go completely breathless. Louis swallowed every possible sound, smashing their lips together as his thrusts became more aggressive and the deception of whether the thumping was their headboard or the door became impossible to decipher. 

Eventually, Louis' hips still and he comes as well. Sadly, he can't stay inside Harry until he goes soft this time. He carefully pulls out with a hiss and backs off the bed, sorrowfully not having the time to admire the way he drips out of Harry. Harry doesn't even know if the solitary tear that rolls down his cheek is from pleasure or disappointment. His head is thrumming and his heart could leap out his chest if it could.

Louis hastily pulls on his pajama pants, aware of the urgent voice calling through the door. He knows Avery's probably scared, he's basically winning award of worst parent of the year for leaving the poor boy out in the dark hallway for two minutes. "Go take a shower." Louis tells his exhausted husband, moving his messy fringe out of the way. 

Harry sighs breathlessly from where he lays on the bed, his legs trembling. "Harry." Louis repeats. It takes him a moment, but he rolls onto his stomach and pulls himself up, timidly walking to the bathroom. Louis tries to catch his breath himself, inhaling deeply before opening the door. 

Avery wipes his tears away when light finally consumes the hallway, his bottom lip jutted out. "Why did you take so long?!" He reprimands, clutching the purple elephant and blanket under his arm. Louis' eyes soften at the sight and he responds, "I'm sorry, Ave. Mommy and I were busy." 

"What were all those noises?" Avery questions. 

"We were playing soccer." Louis decides to say. 

Avery tilts his head. "But Mommy said we aren't allowed to play sports in our rooms."

"It was a special game." Louis excuses. "What's up with all of these questions? Do you want me to tuck you in?"

"I don't want to sleep in my room." Avery declares, his blue eyes narrowed patently. Louis blows a raspberry. Great. Their sheets are anywhere near clean, and he would have loved to collapse onto dirty sheets with his husband. Unfortunately, every lucid plan for the night has been thwarted. "Okay, well, you sit in the chair. I need to change the sheets real quick." He says. 

Avery nods and walks into the room, climbing onto the armchair. He curls on the cushion with his elephant tucked in his arms, nosing the cotton. By the time Louis finishes fixing the bed, Harry completes his shower. He enters the bedroom in a new pair of pajamas and softly smiles when he sees his youngest son on their couch. "Hey, baby. What's the matter? I hope you didn't pee again." 

Avery's cheeks flush in embarrassment and he shakes his head. "I didn't." He says, sliding off of the couch. He makes grabby hands for his mother and Harry gladly accepts him into his arms, carrying him to the fresh bed. Avery crawls in the middle and allows himself to be sandwiched between his parents. He seems content, but Harry won't let him off easy. Avery's notoriously a clingy child, but there's obviously something going on. Harry tucks a stray blonde curl behind his ear and raises his eyebrows. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Avery purses his lips. "Nothing's wrong." He denies. 

"You haven't had accidents in a long time, Ave. What's up?" 

The boy sighs and scoots closer to his mom so he could hold onto him. "I was listening to you and Daddy, and you said you were going away to Grandmas," He admits. Harry glances at Louis for a moment before looking down at his son, soothingly combing his fingers through Avery's hair. "I don't want you to go." Avery tearily adds. 

Harry softly coos, cradling the back of Avery's head. "Oh, Ave. I'll only be gone for a month."

"But I don't want you to go. Who's going to give me my afternoon kisses?" 

Harry cups the boy's cheeks, staring at him intently. "You can get kisses from Daddy. And you can video call me all the time."

"What about the stripe story?"

"I'm sure Daddy also won't mind reading it to you." Harry says, sharing a meaningful look with his husband. Louis shakes his head in agreement, patting Avery's head. "Yeah, don't worry about it, buddy. Besides, you'll get a whole month without stinky rules."

Harry glares at Louis in disapproval, but the reminder brings a beaming grin on Avery's face. "Look, if you behave the entire time I'm gone, no tantrums, no coloring on the walls, and no wetting your pants; I'll get you Mario Kart."

"Really?!"

"Yes, but you have to behave." Harry repeats pointedly. Avery giggles and offers his hand. "Deal." Harry intertwines their fingers and kisses the boy's knuckles before planting a kiss on his nose. "Alright, now get some sleep."

As Avery's eyelids start to droop, Harry leans down and whispers softly, "I love you, my little star. We'll have so much fun when I come back."

Avery nods sleepily, a small smile gracing his lips. "Love you too, Mommy and Daddy."

With a final kiss on Avery's forehead, Harry pulls the blanket up, tucking it snugly around their son. Louis leans in and presses a kiss to Avery's temple before straightening up. Avery's breaths begin to steady into the rhythm of sleep and when he drifts asleep, Louis fondly smiles over his shoulder. "I love you."

Harry grins, whispering it back.

Chapter Text

Louis has never been a 'cooking buff.' If we're being honest, he can't cook for shit. He can cook one meal and maybe scrambled eggs on a good day ⎯ but he honestly doesn't have the attention span to sit in front of a stove for two hours. He doesn't know how Harry does it, waking up in the morning and fixing breakfast for fourteen people, then making dinner only eight hours later. Louis has never appreciated him more than he does right now, he was lucky enough to make good-looking french toast. Harry wrote it down to be the simplest breakfast to make, though he digresses.

The good thing is that the food doesn't fall apart this time around. Stacking the toast onto a serving plate, he hears feet slapping on the tiled floor. "Daddy, my ponytail won't stay up." Adeline complains, rubbing the sleep away from her eyes. Louis takes one glance at her frazzled hair and sets the plate on the kitchen top. "Let me fix that for you." He takes a seat on the swivel chair in front of a small desk and digs through the drawer, fishing for their adhesive tape. He figures it would be better than a hair tie. Besides, those things are far too complicated.

He pulls the tape apart and holds it behind Adeline's head to wrap it around into a well-held ponytail. "Perfect." He claps. Adeline narrows her eyes at him, folding her arms in front of her chest. "This looks stupid. Mommy wouldn't do it like that."

"Well, babe, Mommy's not here. So we're gonna have to make do." Louis counters. Adeline huffs and walks to the table, taking a seat in front of her placemat. The older man slaps his hands on his thighs before standing up and returning to the kitchen to grab a couple of plates. Out of everyone, Harry's absence seems to be affecting the triplets the most. They spend half their day with the older man, being fed breakfast, being taken to school, occasionally getting visits during lunch and of course, being picked up and sometimes taken to Tumble Tots. That routine has suddenly been interrupted, which Louis understands. But two children in particular aren't taking it lightly.

Adeline and Avery. The Lord could not prepare Louis for what that boy would have in store for him. Avery's declared to do everything independently for as long as his mom isn't there, and as much as Louis finds that sweet; it's also a bit infuriating. Louis offers to help him put on his socks, it's immediately shot down and the next thing he knows, Avery's got his socks on the wrong way. Avery's chicken is too large, Louis tries to help him cut it and he denies, only to almost choke on the damned food.

Louis is sure he's grown two extra grey hairs in one week.

Junior walks stiffly into the dining room, his arms help up like a scarecrow and legs parted. Louis spares one scrutinized glance before moving on, setting the table. "Look at my clothes." Junior demands. "You look great to me." Louis says.

"So what did you do?" Junior accuses, emphasizing his shirt.

"I put starch in your clothes. And I put enough to last until your mother gets home."

Junior scoffs, throwing his backpack on the counter. "I look ridiculous." He criticizes, struggling to take a seat beside his little sister.

Everyone eventually starts to fill the kitchen. By the time they're all settled, their plates of french toast are sitting in front of them. Fresh and genuinely appealing. Claire grabs a carton of orange juice from the fridge and Louis' eyes widen when he sees her attire. He likes to think he's an easygoing parent, everyone's either too young or old enough, he almost forgot that phase in adolescence where they wear anything. Claire's currently wearing a midriff top, with two false jewels stuck to her belly button and adjacent on her back. "Whoa... what is all of this?" Louis questions, gesturing to her stomach.

Claire glances down at herself before smiling widely. "Isn't it cool? And look here," She spins around to show off her backside that also has a gem stuck to it.

 "No, it's not cool."

"Why? It's just glitter." Claire argues, making Eileen snort from where she sat. Louis grimaces in blatant disagreement and Claire rolls her eyes. "It's fashion. This is something mom would definitely wear."

"Well, I must be an old fuddy-duddy, because I don't like it." Louis says.

"You won't let me do anything. I can't get anything pierced, you won't let me get a tattoo-"

"I know, why don't I let you carry a gun while you're at it?" Louis absurdly responds. Claire waives him off, stomping away. "You need to get with the times." She mutters. Louis stares at her for a moment before responding, "If you wanna wear that stuff, go ahead. Fine."

Claire hesitates, turning around to face him. "What do you mean?"

"I'm just saying, if everyone's doing it, then go ahead."

Claire stares at him in scrutiny. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing. I just wanna make you happy." Louis declares, squeezing her cheeks between his fingers. Claire continues to observe him suspiciously before pulling away. "Fine, but this better not be one of your tricks." She warns.

Eileen laughs at her sister and steals the orange juice from her to pour herself a glass. "Is it okay if Blair stays the night?"

"Again? That's the third night this week." Louis mentions.

"Gee, let's see, could it be 'cause he's my best friend?" Eileen sarcastically remarks.

"Gee, is someone trying to get punished?" Louis mocks.

Eileen sighs. "Sorry."

"Okay, look, he can spend the night if it's okay with his parents. Who, by the way, I have never met⎯ who I better meet the next time you ask if he can sleepover." Louis endorses. Eileen shakes her head in agreement, taking a gulp out of her juice. "Now, how do you guys want these eggs?"

"A sunny side up but just a little hard in the middle." Eileen requests. Louis points to Junior and the boy strokes his chin for a second. "Hmm. Western omelet. Swiss cheese and sausage." Louis rolls his eyes and motions for Avery's request. "I want egg McMuffin." He asks around the table, only to give them all a disappointment of scrambled eggs. 

Honestly, he just wanted to see the smiles fall from their faces. It's a joyous morning.

The children look at him, unimpressed, and Avery pouts. "I miss Mommy."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis has tried to make Adeline and Avery's day better. He didn't know Avery wanted an egg McMuffin that bad. Yes, he's a five year old, but Louis also isn't Santa Claus. McDonalds isn't going to miraculously appear at their doorstep, and Avery knows that. But Louis is the adult here, and he's going to try his best to lift everybody's moods. Especially those two. He manages to get a few words out of Avery, something along the lines of the salted caramel cookies Harry typically bakes, but he has no idea how those are made. So, he resorts to calling the younger man, standing in front of the oven with his phone pressed to his ear.

"Yeah, I had them in the oven for eight minutes. 350 degrees." He says, bending down to pull the oven door open. "Okay, so when do I know they're ready?" Harry instructs him to check them himself by taking them out and he stupidly grabs the pan, without his oven mitts on. When he grabs his phone again from where he had dropped it after yelping in pain, he answers Harry's concerns. "Of course I used the potholder. What, do you think I'm an idiot?" He responds, feigning offense.

He takes a container of yogurt out of the fridge to cool his hand off and decides to change the subject. "So how's your Dad? Still in pain, huh?" He questions. Apparently, the real reason Harry had been called to visit was because Desmond had broken his leg. Who knows how, but he did, and he wanted help from his family rather than some nurse. While Anne and he weren't together anymore, she was courteous enough to help him as well, the arrangement becoming a sort of family reunion, so to speak. And in some twisted, but justifiable way, Louis was kinda happy about Desmond's injury.

In a nice way.

"No, I'm not smiling." He denies, wiping said expression off his face. "You can hear me smile?" Harry confirms, and he definitely would have played along longer if Desmond hadn't begun complaining loudly in the background. Harry reluctantly bids goodbye and Louis follows, smiling for less malicious reasons. "Okay, I'm sorry. I love you, bye."

The front door opens and Eileen enters, followed by her friend, Blair. Blair appears nervous, playing with his fingers and determinedly avoiding eye contact. Louis would be suspicious, but he concludes that the teen may just be shy. Harry was a bit of the same when he was around his family⎯ not that Blair's in anything romantic with Eileen. She's explicitly stated that the boy's 100% gay. 

"Why don't you guys hang out? I made cookies." Louis suggests, gesturing to the assortment of cookies.

"We gotta go study, Dad." Eileen says.

Louis thins his lips and gazes at Blair's anxious figure. "Hey, Blair, when am I going to meet your parents? I want to invite them for chicken or something."

"Oh, they're vegetarians." Blair responds.

"So were the chickens." Louis lamely quips. The two blink at him unwavering and he smiles. "Get it? It's a joke."

"It is?" Blair asks.

"Go study." Louis waives off. He watches the friends leave and takes a few cookies off of the pan to make a plate for Avery. He also pours the boy a glass of milk and heads upstairs, prepared to console him. He finds Avery lying face down on his bed, completely suffocated by his blanket. Louis would have thought he was dead if he hadn't seen his back rising and falling. "You still miss him?"

Avery surprisingly responds, though it's only a hum. "I miss your mother, too. But I'm glad I got you here, otherwise, I'd be crying in my eyes." Louis says, reaching out to softly rub Avery's back. "You want a cookie?"

Avery turns around shortly after and takes one, barely sparing a glance before putting it on his dresser. "Mommy's cookies are better." He declares and crosses his arms. Louis bites his lip to hold back a smile and sits up on the boy's bed, deciding to change gears. "You know, this isn't the first time I had to take over for your mom."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you probably wouldn't remember because you weren't born yet." Louis says, beginning to start the story. "But he was having a really hard time during his pregnancy."

"So what did you do?" Avery asks.

"I took over, and your brother had to drive me to the hospital when it was time." Avery glares at the older man and he throws his hands up jokingly. "Come on. This is funny stuff. Give me a smile or something."

Avery lifts one side of his lip quickly, his eyes remaining blank and clearly uninterested. "Okay, you know what? You get ready for your bath, and I'll tell you the rest of the story later."

"I'm not taking a bath until Mommy gets home." Avery denies.

"Your butt's gonna be humming."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Eileen didn't invite Blair over to study. She's really close to the boy, but they don't have any classes together that require working outside of the classroom. The real reason why they were spending so much time together was because Blair was freaking out, like, really freaking out. He started dating this guy from school a few weeks ago, but they knew each other ever since they were children. Eileen thought it was really cute how they had known each other for years, she bet they would be together forever. And maybe they were a little too close, because Blair soon came to her, admitting his suspicion of expecting.

Expecting a baby.

So, after school, she went with Blair to Walgreens, using that as an excuse to "stop at Blair's house." Thereafter, the two coop up in her room, waiting for the results of the pregnancy test. "It's blue." Eileen voices after a moment.

"Okay, what does that mean?"

Eileen lifts up the manual, reading it aloud. "If the stick is blue, the results are positive."

Blair's eyes widen. "Oh.." Their space of tension is broken when Louis pushes the door to her room open, unannounced. Eileen throws the paper away, shouting in surprise "Don't you knock?"

"Only on doors I don't own. But I couldn't contain myself, look at this." He lifts his shirt to show Claire's jewels, which he stuck on his own stomach. "Everyone's doing it, huh?" He quotes. Eileen scoffs out a laugh and he pops his hip. "Wait till you see me in my thong."

"We gotta go." Eileen proclaims while covering her eyes, ushering Blair out of the room. Louis laughs to himself, but follows them down the stairs. "Wait a minute, when did you start taking out trash?" He notices, spotting the bag in Eileen's hands.

"I'm just trying to help out while Mom's away." Eileen excuses.

"Oh, that's so sweet. But I'll do that." Louis says, taking the bag from her. She forces a smile, which doesn't do her any justice. "Oh, okay.." She says through clenched teeth before grabbing Blair.

Louis turns around to walk to the kitchen, pausing when he hears Avery's conversation. "Mommy, I can't pretend to like the cookies. The cookies are yucky." Louis peeks from around the wall, Avery catching sight of him. "Oops. I gotta go."

"Who were you talking to?" He asks.

"Santa." Avery offers.

"And what does he have to say in the middle of Spring?"

Avery stares at him before running away. The phone starts to ring again and Louis blows a raspberry, approaching the transmitter. He answers and presses it to his ear as he places the trash bag on the table. He knows well that it wasn't simply hiding trash, their behavior was too suspicious. He responds to Harry's questions, informing him that the kids just miss him, especially Avery. "I'm positive." Louis repeats as he blindly fishes through the bag. He grabs ahold of something thin and solid and pulls it out. His eyes widen when he discerns something all too familiar.

He feels his mouth grow dry, his quick circuited brain finally coming to a halt for once. Except, the reason isn't good. He quickly tells Harry that he has to go, not waiting for a response. He just hangs up the phone and slowly takes a seat at the table, staring at the wall in disbelief. There's no way... no way Eileen could have gotten pregnant. Right under their noses? It's not like she's ever left alone with Evan, the doors are always left open and Harry's gotten the strongest pair of ears. Plus, Eileen has never been allowed at Evan's house, his parents even happily agreed to it.

So how the hell?

God, this is too much. Louis is going through five stages of grief right now, and by the time Eileen returns home, he's a ticking bomb. He taps the test on the table while he waits, finally hearing the door open. "Hi, Dad."

"Hi, get over here."

Eileen's smile gradually disappears when he holds up the test. "What's that?"

Louis arches an eyebrow. "I don't know, you tell me." Eileen sighs loudly and takes a seat across from him. "It's not what you think," she takes one look at his expression and backtracks. "It's not what you're thinking. That's not me, you already know how impossible it would be with Evan." She looks conflicted as she lets her next words out. "It's Blair's."

"So, Blair hasn't been spending all his nights over here." Louis rhetorically asks. Eileen shakes her head hesitantly. "Please don't tell his parents. Do me a favor, Dad. Let me talk to him first before you call his parents."

"That's fair." Louis decides, though it wasn't like he was going to call Blair's parents regardless. It wasn't like it was his business to share. Eileen smiles appreciatively before standing from the table and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The next day is much easier. Louis resorts to something the kids can all make themselves; cereal. He just wanted to give them a homemade meal for breakfast like Harry usually did, but he didn't have the capacity to do it. He has no clue how Harry can. That afternoon, Louis finds himself relaxing on the couch in front of the television, holding a can of beer. Feet drags on the ground and he glances at the staircase, doing a double-take when he sees Avery in a ridiculous outfit. Over his Ben10 shirt, he has Harry's bra on and a cardigan.

"Wow, for a second I thought you were your mother." Louis says.

"Well, somebody's gotta be the Mommy around here." Avery retorts. Louis smiles and gently coaxes the boy into his arms. "I want to finish telling you the story about the day you were born. Now, where was I?"

"We were on our way to the hospital."

"Right. So, I was in labor and the doctors said there was no place for you to come out. That I'd need to have a B-section."

"That's not true. Mommy already told me I came out of his china."

Louis nods. "That was the good china too. But you know what? I'm just trying to make it more entertaining. Apparently I'm failing."

"You said it, not me." Avery sassily responds.

"Well, there was something wrong when you were born."

"What?"

"You didn't really take me right away. I tried everything to make you laugh, and nothing worked. But something was wrong. You see, the baby didn't have those sparkling eyes you have. Or that sweet, sweet smile you have. But it did have something you didn't have. And it really didn't hit me, until it hit me."

"I was a girl?!" Avery asks in disbelief. Louis shakes his head in affirmation. "Obviously, the hospital made a mistake. They gave us the wrong baby."

"Where was I?"

"I didn't know, so I started to search. I wouldn't eat or sleep until I found my little sunshine. Finally, I knocked on the right door, and it was a good thing, because there was a baby that was just as unhappy as you were." Louis goes on with a drastic story, it doesn't bring a smile, but Avery seems intrigued. The crazy details ebb out of Louis easily and Avery manages to believe every word. "And that's the day you were born."

"And The Rock got his little girl back?"

"Yup. I even gave up front row Manchester tickets to get you back." Avery tilts his head curiously and Louis smiles, a fond one before pulling Avery off the couch. "Let's go change you into some regular clothes."

The suggestion sounded absurd, but Eileen was positive about this. She may disagree with her father every once in a while, he may be a little obtuse and make witty remarks when they're unneeded, but she knows he'll be good for this. He gets serious when he needs to be, she has vulnerable conversations with him sometimes and if she were to be honest, she goes to her father first when things go wrong. With that trust bestowed, Louis would be the only adult she knows that could help Blair. Especially when he somewhat understands her situation.

Blair thought she was crazy when she suggested it. She didn't want to push Blair to speak to her father, but Blair wasn't going to make the right decision. And yes, it isn't up to her judgement, but she also knows that running away isn't the right option. Blair's boyfriend doesn't know and neither do his parents, he doesn't even know how they'll react. So, to stop Blair from the impulsive decision, Eileen recommended a conversation with her father. She would even be there with Blair so he wouldn't be intimidated-- not that there was anything intimidating about the older man.

"What do you think I should do?" Blair asks nervously. Louis purses his lip, lacing his fingers together on top of the table. "A couple of things. First of all, get rid of that stupid idea of running away. You don't have a job, you don't have money, you don't even have a place to stay." He lists. "And secondly, talk to your parents."

"No, they'll kill me." Blair exclaims.

"They won't, and if either of them raises a hand to you, just hold your stomach and scream 'The baby!' Trust me, it works." Louis tells him knowingly. "The bottom line is, you have to ask yourself 'Do my parents love me?' and if you can confidently answer that question, then talk to them."

Blair nods hesitantly, listening attentively as Louis continues. "The last thing is to talk to your boyfriend. He has to talk to his parents, and then maybe all of you can get together and work this out. It's not the end of the world, you know."

Blair smiles shakily. "I know."

"You could choose to look at this as a blessing, but that's up to you. I personally believe that every child is a gift." Louis says.

Blair's expression loosens, feeling less tense now. "Thank you, Mr. Tomlinson. I didn't think anybody your age would understand." Louis smirks, unsure whether he should take that as a compliment or be offended. "Well, I'm speaking from experience."

"What did you do?" Blair asks.

"We had a son. And it's a decision I've never regretted a day in my life."

As if on cue, the front door opens and Junior waddles in, tangled in the damn soccer net from the backyard. Louis doesn't even want to ask, and he doesn't. Promptly ignoring the sight of disappointment, he shakes head minimally and adds, "Till just now."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

It takes a day for Avery to come back and complain about Louis' false story once again. He places his hands on his hips with an angry grimace, brows pulled together. He looks dangerously similar to Harry that Louis' heart almost stops because he mistakes him for the older man⎯ if it weren't for his chubby cheeks. "You lied." He accuses.

"About what?"

"Junior told me he can't drive. Maybe everything you say is a lie, Louis William Tomlinson."

Louis sits up on the couch. "Avery Lane Tomlinson, you sound like your mother." Avery's expression remains impressively stoic, making Louis retort. "I was just trying to get you out of that bad mood you were in."

"So? You still lied." Avery reprimands.

"Well, the truth wasn't that interesting. Come here, I'll tell you what really happened." Louis pats the spot beside him and Avery comes around to sit down. "Your birth was actually really quick and really easy. Your mom sneezed and you just came right out."

Avery blinks and he regresses. "Okay. Maybe not that easy, but it was easy."

"The truth." Avery demands.

"The truth is... you didn't really seem to like me that much. You would cry whenever I held you. You preferred your mother to me. It started the first time he fed you, and you've always been a Mommy's boy. I know it sounds silly and not very grown up, but it really makes me sad to know that I can't make you happy while your Mom's gone." He admits. "Cause the truth is, Avery, I've been trying to win your heart ever since you were born."

Avery finally offers a smile and leans in to plant a kiss to his forehead. "Keep trying." He says, ruffling his hair before walking away. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Miserably sat at the table, Adeline and Phoebe rest their heads in their arms, hunger depriving them. They were promised lunch, but they could only expect the worst. The sound of utensils hitting the surface of the table made them sit up, instantly disappointed by the sight of cereal. Again. 

"I'm not eating." Adeline says. 

Louis pushes the bowl of frosted wheats towards her. "Why not? It's lunch time."

"I'll eat when Mommy gets back from San Francisco." She clarifies, stubbornly crossing her arms over her chest. 

"Mommy's not coming back until Grandpa's leg heals. He may not be back for another two weeks." Louis shares, trying to convince the girl to eat. "So? I'll wait." Adeline states. 

"Come on, love. Eat your food. It's your favorite." Louis urges. 

"I had that cereal for breakfast."

Louis pulls a chair out and sits beside her. "I know, and you ate it so well that I made it again."

Adeline shakes her head. "I don't want cereal."

"What do you want?"

"I want something healthy."

"Like what?"

Adeline thinks for a moment. "Pizza!" She decides. Louis smiles in approval, using the table to push himself up. "I can do that. And what do you think, Pheebs?" Phoebe purses her lips, dribbling her fingers as she thought. "I want strawberry souffle." 

"Pizza it is." Phoebe glares at her father for even bothering to ask. He grabs the house phone and dials for a delivery. When he finishes with the call, he returns to the table and grins widely. "Isn't this fun?"

"I haven't been having fun since Mommy went away." Phoebe retaliates. She's most likely feeling salty because he denied her lunch request, but then again, they haven't really been doing anything. Louis doesn't exactly disagree with her, either. There are a lot of things they're missing, for instance, Tumble Tots. Harry, like always, signed them up for an activity to do a few weekends out of the month and select days of the week. And for once, something that was Harry's idea actually worked. It allowed the younger ones to let loose after school and once they returned home, they were tired enough to not leave the house in ruins like they used to. But now, they don't even have the energy to go to the program. It's actually depressing. 

"I know, sweetheart," Louis says softly, reaching out to pat Phoebe's hand. "Things haven't been the same since Mommy left. But we're doing our best, aren't we?"

Phoebe nods reluctantly, her eyes cast downwards. "But hey," Louis continues, trying to inject some cheer into their somber. "Pizza for lunch is a start, right? And maybe we can do something fun together after."

Adeline perks up at the suggestion. "Can we watch a movie?"

Louis smiles, relieved to see her face brighten again. "Absolutely. We'll make it a movie marathon, if you want."

Phoebe seems interested now. "Mommy and I watch soap operas every Saturday." She says, and Louis already knows that's a shy proposal that they should watch General Hospital. Although he doesn't like the show, hates every time Harry turns it on, he's willing to sit through it for his daughters. "Alright, let's watch some soap operas." He announces. He stands from the table and enters the living room, the two girls following closely behind him. He spots Audrey knelt in front of the coffee table with something in her hands, presumably drawing. But the instrument she's using looks suspicious. 

Louis rounds the couch, holding his hands on his hips. "And what are you doing?"

"Putting lipstick on..." Audrey stops for a moment as she lifts a picture frame containing a photo of Louis and Harry when he was pregnant with Junior, a snapshot Gemma took over the holidays when the pregnant teen was stuffing his mouth full of chicken and gravy. Only, now his face is almost completely colored over. "Everybody." She answers, showcasing her destruction. 

"You know better than that." Louis chides, taking a seat beside her. "Where'd you get all this make-up from?" 

"In Mommy's drawers."

"You know you're not supposed to go in Mommy's drawers."

"But you go in Mommy's drawers." Audrey retorts. 

Louis takes a moment to find a way to get around that argument. "How would you like it if someone put make-up all over your face?" He inquires. Audrey shrugs. "I wouldn't care."

"Oh really?" Louis reaches out to grab the lipstick off of the table. "Let's see how much you don't care." He murmurs before gently holding her chin, rubbing lipstick all over her mouth. He adds a final dot to her nose and smiles. "There, now you look like your Grandpa." 

Audrey narrows her eyes as her sisters giggles surround her. The doorbell resonates through the house and he stands up to get it. "Clean this up and put that stuff back in your Mom's drawers." He instructs. 

Audrey crosses her arms over her chest and looks at Adeline. "What's his problem?"

Louis wasn't expecting the pizza to arrive so early⎯ being the number of boxes he ordered. He'll have to give a good tip to the delivery driver. When he opens the door, he doesn't expect to see an angry looking woman on their doorsteps with a little girl that looks about the triplets' age. 

Louis cocks an eyebrow at the woman he's never seen before. But she makes herself known she speaks. "Your son gave my Kinsley a very strange gift." She utters and pulls out a familiar pair of orchid panties. Harry's orchid panties. Louis parts his lips in surprise and the woman holds it between her fingers, handing it back. He gives a tight-lipped smile, glancing behind him to see that Avery had come down the stairs. "I am so sorry." He apologizes sincerely. 

"I wouldn't say that this is okay, but I hope it doesn't happen again." She expresses, doing a once over before leaving. Louis breathes out a sigh and shuts the door, turning around to face his son. Avery grins. "Was that Miss Bailey?" 

Louis puts a hand on Avery's shoulder, ushering him towards the couch. "You know, that gift was very inappropriate." He scolds. Avery looks down at the carpet as he swings his feet and innocently responds. "You give underpants to Mommy." 

"That's true, but you know, Mommy and I are adults, and we're married. You can't give that type of thing to someone you're not married to." Louis tries to explain, attempting to simplify it for the boy. Avery pouts petulantly. "Mommy says we should be kind to others." He mentions. 

"Mommy also said to not go through his drawers." Louis reminds pointedly. He sighs, trying to find the right words to make his son understand. "Do you remember when we talked about how everyone has different feelings about certain things?"

Avery nods, his expression shifting from pouting to contemplative. "Yeah, like how some people like hugs and some people don't."

"Exactly," Louis affirms. "It's the same with gifts. Some things might make people uncomfortable, even if you don't mean it that way. So it's important to think about how others might feel before giving something."

Avery furrows his brows, processing his father's words. "I didn't mean to make Miss Bailey upset."

"I know you didn't, buddy. And hey, cheer up. Mommy will be home in less than a week." Louis reassures, gently ruffling his hair. Avery smiles, elated by the news. "I feel much better now." He declares. 

Chuckling, Louis presses a tender kiss to Avery's forehead. "Your sisters and I are going to watch some TV while we eat pizza. You wanna join?"

"Yeah!"

And maybe it wasn't the end of the world to have Harry away. Louis likes to believe he did a pretty good job. The first few weeks might have been a little rough, and Avery might have been a little tough, but it wasn't all that bad. The kids learned some independence for once, something they lacked while endlessly relying on their mother for everything. Parenting alone might have been tricky, he may have commanded naps on everyone⎯even Junior and Eileen⎯for the easier way out for a while, but he's learned other ways to get around.

And now, he certainly believes he did a good job. With Phoebe and Adeline cuddled in his arms⎯Audrey with lipstick still scribbled all over her face⎯he's finally made them laugh again, this time, not being the small half-assed smile Avery gave him, but genuine laughter. 

There's a possibility they're only so happy because they're having real food after six weeks, but let Louis have his moment. 

Chapter Text

Harry was coming home tonight. It was a relief and a curse, Louis felt unusually apprehensive about the arrival and he wasn't sure why. The children were reasonably excited, but Louis had a scratch he couldn't itch. On top of that, he kept having a recurring nightmare. In the dream, he's walking down a sandy beach and out of nowhere, this giant whale jumps out of the water and starts chasing him. It's ludicrous and ridiculous, but it actually gets him sweating. Then, the whale swallows him up and inside is Harry, cooking. It's so strange that Louis willingly went to see Dr. Payne.

During his session, Liam said that the whale must represent Harry's Dad. His fear is that Harry may not be the same person he was when he left six weeks ago. Louis was uncertain about Liam's conclusion, but the whale interpretation made sense. He's always seen Desmond like that. Liam suggested that he set up a romantic evening for the night, to regain "control."

Louis successfully sent the kids away for the evening, all at different sleepovers. It was impressive, being that it wasn't planned, but he managed. While they were away and he was anxiously waiting for Harry's return, he set up the house. He wasn't the creative one, but he tried his best. Harry's notorious for loving cliches, so he didn't have to do much thinking. He lit up some candles, bought a large bottle of champagne, and played some relaxing music. By the time he was lighting the last candle, the sound of the door handle turning heralds Harry's arrival.

"Hey, baby!" Harry calls out eagerly. His voice captures Louis' attention instantly. The sight is beautiful, obviously. You would think he wasn't complaining about visiting six weeks ago, the way he was beaming. He has a sort of glow to his skin that mirrors his expression, dimples deepening in his rosy cheeks. He was gorgeous, as always, but Louis noticed something subtly different about him. Harry seemed fuller somehow, his features softly rounded, giving him an air of robust health. His clothes hugged his body a bit more snugly, outlining a gentler, more curved silhouette that hadn't been there before.

Louis is still in a state of reverie when Harry leaps into his arms, knocking him onto the couch. Harry huffs out a laugh, pulling away. "Sorry, are you alright?" Louis nods, momentarily stupefied. "Yeah, I'm fine." He breathes, watching Harry straighten up before he starts jumping excitedly. "Give me a hug!"

Louis stands from the couch and hugs around his husband's waist, sliding his hands down to feel around Harry's butt. Yeah, it definitely felt fuller. "I missed you, too." He responds, reluctantly releasing Harry from the embrace. Harry smiles and sniffs the air. "What smells so good?"

Louis jests. "That would be me."

"No, I smell gravy." Harry says, finally dropping his bags on the floor. Louis offers a sheepish smile, hiding his hands in the pockets of his joggers. "Well, I made some chicken dumplings for the kids before I sent them out to the movies." He mentions.

"So we're all alone?" Harry asks.

Louis shakes his head and Harry grins. "Oh, how romantic. Do you have any biscuits left?" He questions, turning around to peek into the kitchen. Louis sneaks a glance at his behind. "I definitely see.." He forces a smile when Harry pivots back to face him. "Yeah, there's biscuits. There's all kinds of leftovers. But didn't you eat on the plane?"

Harry lets out a loud sigh. "The plane was great. Some fool fell asleep next to me, and left his lasagna. I tore that lasagna up. It was good, too." He recounts with a giggle. Louis chuckles, licking his lips. "So, how's your Dad?"

Harry rolls his eyes exasperatedly. "You know how my father is. He had me cooking for him all the time. His answer to everything is just food. It kind of surprised me how much of a glutton he is now." He murmurs. Louis hums and Harry pauses for a moment, suddenly remembering something. "Wait, so we're completely all by ourselves?" He inquires.

Louis nods and Harry traps his bottom lip between his teeth, encroaching on his husband. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" He teases. Louis hums, leaning in expectantly, only for Harry to spin around. "Let's eat!"

They did end up in the bed together that night, but not the way Louis had planned. For the first time out of his seventeen years of being sexually active, he genuinely could not get hard. He doesn't know if this was his punishment for using Viagra when he didn't really need it or what, but he saw it as a curse, especially because he would have to use it for prescription reasons.

The kids are still gone for the second night, allowing him for a second try. When he walks into the bedroom, he notices that Harry isn't anywhere within sight. "H?" He calls.

"I'm in the bathroom! I got some new Victoria's Secret." Harry shouts back, his deep voice slightly muffled from behind the door. Louis silently thanks God for that and opens the drawer to his dresser, pulling out the small bottle. He prays for a second before tossing the pill into his mouth, just as the bathroom door opens. Fumbling, he shoves the drugs back into the dresser and smiles thinly-lipped.

Harry beams giddily and holds the tie of his blossom colored satin robe. Louis has honestly lost count of how many robes Harry owns, but he isn't complaining. Harry bites his lip and loosens the belt around his waist until it drops on the floor, revealing the matching night gown set. Louis is sure if his dick was working regularly, he would've filled out immediately. For now, the spit clogging in his throat was enough.

Harry lies down on the bed and smirks, leaning back on his hands like he knew it would enunciate the bralette holding his breasts together. He looks terribly gorgeous right now, Louis was infatuated by the way his gown glued onto his curvaceous figure, particularly his thighs. Louis swallows and kneels on the bed. He gives one reassuring squeeze to his crotch before settling between Harry's open legs.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis enters the kitchen the next morning, his muscles feeling like jelly after the amount of strength he had to use the previous evening. Surprisingly, Harry doesn't seem as exhausted as he felt. In fact, he was still glowing, with an enormous smile on his face as he approached Louis. "Hey, baby." He greets, capturing his lips in a chaste kiss. He hands Louis a cup of steaming tea before walking back to the connected kitchen. "I made you a nice big breakfast to help you get your strength back." He informs as he grabs a plate of stacked pancakes, revisiting his husband at the table.

Louis gives a closed-lipped smile, Harry taking a seat beside him. "Lou," he clicks his tongue. "Last night you made me feel like the most beautiful person in the world. The way you responded to me was so loving, something I missed while I was away." Louis gazes at him softly and leans in, sealing their lips in a deeper kiss. The grin Harry wears bumps their teeth slightly, making him laugh, but he doesn't remove their mouths. He just raises his hands and gently cups Louis' jaw, licking inside his mouth.

He pulls away when the telephone starts to ring and stands from the table⎯ planting a soft kiss to Louis' nose before he heads to the phone.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry makes a lot of promises to the children when he returns. One of them being catching up on General Hospital with Phoebe. He doesn't really remember what got them into it, he knows he used to watch it when he was pregnant and bored at home. He supposes it might have just become a routine for them, not that he's even complaining. In addition to the promises he made, there was an exceptional amount of chores that weren't done correctly. Or at least, the way he likes them. So he chose to do laundry while he watched the show to make things move faster. However, some clothes were weirdly stiff when he went to put them in the wash. Louis must have put starch in their pile of clothes.

Harry shakes his head in disbelief, realizing that he'd have to separate all of this clothes in order to put them in the wash. It takes him more than five minutes to do so and when he takes the third load out of the dryer, he all but runs down the stairs to see what he had missed. "Carly went back to Sonny, Luke has two stomachs, and Brenda came back from the dead, again." Phoebe recaps. Harry takes a seat on the sofa beside her and furrows his brows. "I knew it. I bet you that Sonny is going to leave Carly for Brenda, too."

"Probably, you know he's a low-down, dirty dog." Phoebe criticizes. Harry clicks his tongue, gazing back at the TV. "Tell me about it. You know, just last night..." He stops himself when he remembers who he was talking to. "Never mind." He quickly says.

Phoebe's eyes widened, suddenly intrigued. "No! Come on, dish the dirt."

"No, no. It's too grown up." Harry waives off, lifting the laundry basket off the small couch.

"I just watched Luke go to jail and Laura go bananas." Phoebe reminds. Harry bites his lip, unable to hold it in any longer. "Okay, you're right. Listen to this," He sits back down with her and lowers his voice. "Last night, I had a dream that your father had a -- a play date with Jessica Alba."

"Say what?"

"Mhm. And he had a choice, too."

Phoebe's jaw goes slack. "And he didn't choose you?"

Harry nods, voicing his annoyance. Phoebe agrees with every word, but she can't help but smile. "Mom, it was just a dream." She reminds. Harry chuckles softly. "Yeah, you're right. I'm probably just thinking about it because we watched Fantastic Four a few days ago."

Phoebe stares at him sympathetically. "You look like you could use a cookie and a shot of milk." Harry laughs and gently squeezes her nose. "You're right. Let's go." He decides.

Junior had been working on getting a date to the Spring dance for the past two months now. It's no secret that the boy is an airhead, but he's Louis' son after all, and he wants to see Junior succeed. He hears footsteps nearing the kitchen and murmurs to Junior. "Okay, here comes your mother. Watch me demonstrate." 

Harry walks hand-in-hand with Phoebe, promptly noticing the mess of their dining table. "Look at all the crumbs on the table. I swear you guys don't think of anyone but yourselves." He complains.

Louis is smiling inside as he responds. "That's not true. I always think about you. Not a moment goes by that the angel of my life doesn't pass my thoughts." Harry's expression resembles so clearly like the one he used to make in high school. He smiles with rounded eyes, emeralds as big as saucers. "Really?"

Louis partially turns himself to wink at Junior, focusing back on his husband. "Do you want a snack or something?" Harry offers sweetly.

"Yeah, a sandwich will do."

"Okay." Harry easily agrees, heading to the fridge. Louis shoots a knowing glance at his son and decides to throw in another compliment. "Did you do something different with your moisturizer? You're glowing more than ever."

Harry holds the fridge open, batting his eyelashes. "Really?" He gnaws on his bottom lip and pulls the lower drawers open. "Do you want anything special on that sandwich?"

"As long as it's made with your hands, I know it's going to be special." Louis sappily responds, joining his two children at the table. "Kids, I'll tell you something -- your mother is the most beautiful person in the world. Not even Jessica Alba comes close to your mother."

Harry stops separating the meat for Louis' sandwich, cocking an eyebrow. Phoebe remembers her conversation with her mom earlier and rolls her eyes. "Jessica Alba is not that cute."

"Say what?!" Louis exclaims, leaning back in his seat theatrically. "Jessica Alba is fine." Harry stalks towards the table, squeezing the sandwich between his fingers. "Oh really?"

Louis chuckles mindlessly, unable to see the younger man. "Yeah, really. So, baby, what's up with that sandwich?"

"Here you go." Harry sneers, slapping one content after the other on the table before walking away. Louis sits there in silence and Phoebe shrugs. "I tried to warn you." She mumbles, following after her mother.

"What happened?" Junior asks.

"I forgot the other two C's. Cranky and crazy. That brings me to my next point, before you settle for one partner, make sure that you've sampled every item at the buffet. Cast your net far and wide. Sniff," Louis imitates. "Every flower."

"Oh, you mean, have options?"

Louis snaps his fingers. "Yes. You always have to have a backup plan -- Plan B."

"Okay, I've got it." Junior beams.

"Then you go out there and start sniffing, son."

Junior starts sniffing vigorously and gets out of his seat, running out of the room.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Evelyn's in the kitchen when Junior returns home from school, dressed in a turquoise turtle neck that brings out her dark skin. She's genuinely a pretty girl, even beautiful. He likes to see when her lips break out into a wide smile, showcasing her teal braces. Junior clears his throat and tosses his backpack aside, approaching the girl. "Hello, beautiful."

"Who, me?" Evelyn asks in surprise, holding a bag of chips in her hands.

"Of course. I don't just throw that word around." Junior says and glances at the food. "What a beautiful bag of potato chips!" He notices, taking the item out of her hands. Evelyn furrows her brows, wearing a confused smile as she holds her hands in front of her. "Yeah, I guess."

"No, they're beautiful, just like you." Evelyn parts her lips, unsure of how to respond. Junior hands her the bag back and Junior continues. "So, what are you doing here?"

"Um, I'm working on an assignment with Eileen. I just came down to get some... beautiful potato chips." She quotes.

"Well, don't forget the sexy sodas." Junior quips. Evelyn huffs out a laugh and saunters to the refrigerator. "You know, I never noticed how graceful your walk is. You're like a gazelle being chased across the Serengeti by a cheetah."

Evelyn slowly turns around, grinning slightly. "Really?" She cheeses.

"Did you just say really?" Junior asks, unbelieving of his actions.

"Yes?"

"Really?" Junior laughs to himself smugly and folds his arms over his chest. "Evelyn, may I ask you a hypodermical question? If I were to ask you to the dance on Saturday night, what would you say?"

Evelyn stammers. "I-I-I would say yes! Are you asking me?" Junior takes her by the wrists, staring in her brown eyes. "It would be an honor to take a woman as beautiful as a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips to the dance on Saturday night."

Evelyn bites her lip, heat pooling at her cheeks. "Well, thanks, Junior. I can't wait."

"Neither can I." Junior responds. He passes by Eileen standing at the case opening, happily greeting her. "Die!" She retorts with matched enthusiasm. She furrows her brows, nearing the table. "What are you smiling about?"

"Junior," Evelyn gushes. "He was so dashing and romantic. He just asked me out to the dance." She states, folding her arms on the table. Eileen forces a laugh. "My brother, Junior, the one with the big head?"

Evelyn confirms with a hum.

"Did he cry when you said no?" Eileen asks with a devilish smile. Evelyn shows her teeth in a grimace, responding nervously. "I said yes.."

"You said what? We were supposed to go together and make fun of the girls who had dates." Eileen argues.

"I know. I couldn't help it. The things he said to me... the way he looked into my eyes. The way he compared me to the potato chips. I never realized how sweet Junior was before." Evelyn whispers. Eileen scoffs and gently slaps the girl before shaking her vigorously. "Are you on drugs?!"

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry sits on the window seat, holding open Dreams Revealed. He hears Louis clear his throat loudly and chooses to ignore him, keeping his eyes trained on the page, even as Louis crouches down to press a kiss to his temple. "Hello, there, beautifulest thing."

"Don't beautifulest thing me, Louis." Harry mutters. Louis frowns, retracting. "What's wrong, baby? You've been snapping at me all day. What did I do?" He questions, sinking down on the couch across from the younger man. Harry raises an eyebrow. "What's wrong?" He repeats. He drops his book down on his lap and points an accusing finger at his husband. "You were fooling around with Jessica Alba."

"I was? And I missed it? Damn!" Louis quips. Harry huffs and rises to his feet. "Don't play that innocent role with me, Louis. I saw you rubbing all over her tight abs, standing there with sweat pooling down the small of her back. And she said 'Baby, do you like it?' and you said, 'My name isn't baby, it's Louis, Mr. Tomlinson if you're nasty.'"

"Did I spank it?"

"Louis!" Harry shouts. "It's not funny."

Louis hides his smile behind his fingers, pretending to stroke his stubble. "Baby, when exactly did this happen?"

"You know when it happened -- last night in my dreams." Harry says, loudly dropping his book on the dining table. He angrily sits down and Louis gets off his butt, throwing his hands up. "Oh! Well, then, that explains it." He says and crouches down to Harry's level. "It was in Crazyland."

Harry narrows his eyes at Louis. "It's not funny, Louis, 'cause you know my dreams have a way of coming true."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. Do you remember the time when I dreamt that it was raining, and when I woke up, it was raining?"

"Wow. It's like the time I was sleeping and I woke up 'cause I was sleeping." Louis remarks. Harry clenches his jaw and rises to his feet again, shaking his head. "Don't mock my gift, Louis. I'm telling you, I've been reading all about it." He starts flipping through the pages. "It says right here that when a dream is as clear and complete as mine is, that means that it is a premonition of things to come. Right there." He declares, hitting the table.

Louis laughs right in his face and he glares. "You know what, make all the jokes you want. From here on out, I'm telling you right now, while I'm sleeping; I got my eye on you." He threatens before walking away, his hips aggressively swinging.

"Hey, H. You look good in those jeans. They're really holding out." Louis calls. Harry stops walking and glances down at himself. "Really? You think so? I started using a different sewing method and--" His face drops when he sees the smug expression Louis was wearing. "Shut up!"

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Junior found himself in a predicament. A very terrible predicament. He takes his father's advice very seriously, especially because this dance is so important to him. He had to keep his options open, just like Louis said. But now, he was going to the dance with two girls. One was a stunning girl, Amber. She's known for her beauty, he didn't even expect for her to say yes. And then there was Evelyn, who was looking forward to going out with him. But he really wanted to go to Amber, she's the girl he's been waiting for since freshman year, there was no way he was letting that go.

He paces around the hallway as he tries to collect his thoughts. He had to be honest with Evelyn, there was nothing wrong with telling the truth, even if it hurts. He hears Eileen's bedroom door open and Evelyn's soft voice talking to his sister. He swallows down his pride and quietly calls for the girl, waving her over. "Evelyn, I can't go to the dance with you." He admits.

"What?"

"I can't go into the details because it's some top-secret, FBI, CIA, CSI-type stuff, and I don't want to put you in any danger."

Evelyn frowns. "Oh, okay.. well, I hope everything--"

Junior loudly hushes her, making her jump. "They'll hear you. The walls have eyes." He whispers. Evelyn looks even more confused, so he abruptly shouts for her to duck. Evelyn quickly drops to the ground out of fright and Junior crawls away. "Pretend we never met!" He hisses.

The news travels quickly and when Eileen hears about her brother dumping Evelyn, she's furious. She calls for everyone in the living room, so everyone can hear about Junior's actions. In the middle of the room, she holds her arms over her chest, analyzing the expressions of her teenage siblings. "I called this meeting to let all of you know that my brother Junior is a low-down, dirty rat. It's all over school that my big-headed brother is taking Little Miss Popularity to the dance instead of my best friend Evelyn, who he already committed to."

"It's all over school?" Junior clarifies. "Cool." He directs an obvious wink to Louis and Louis leans over to murmur to him, ignoring the suspicious scowl Harry was giving him. "This is not the time to be winking, son."

"Yeah, but you said go to the buffet line and sample all different kinds of food." Junior argues over Louis' attempt at 'subtly' hushing him. "I didn't say that." Louis denies.

"Yes, you did."

Harry pokes his tongue on the inside of his cheek, intensely staring at Louis, enough to make the older man shift uncomfortably. "Okay, when I said 'food,' I meant the nourishment that partners provide for... for a man's soul."

"Oh, really?" Harry asks.

Junior turns to face his mother, grinning like an idiot. "Do you want to know what else Dad said?" Harry nods and Junior continues, stopping for a moment to glare at his father. "Would you stop kicking me? Dad said partners are like fish and to cast my nets out far and wide."

"We're like fish, huh?" Harry rhetorically asks. "Well what kind of fish might I be?"

"You... are more than trout and-- and bigger than--"

"Bigger than what?"

"Than.. a guppy! A mermaid is what you are, baby. You're Ariel."

"Shut up, Louis." Harry says. "You know what, Junior? I am so disappointed in you. I bet that girl is devastated."

Eileen holds a dirty stare at her brother. "She is, and until you apologize, I'm not speaking to either one of you." She declares, pointing between Junior and Louis. Harry rises off the couch, shaking his head. "Come on, girls. I don't want you around these two."

Louis watches them leave through the corner of his eye before sighing. "June, what's that?" He points to the edge of the coffee table and Junior leans in. Louis strikes the back of his head and Junior screeches. "I did what you said, Dad! I went to Plan 'B'!"

"You don't go to Plan B until Plan A fails!"

"Oh."

"You made a commitment to that girl and then you went back on your word. That's no way to behave." Louis scolds.

"But you haven't seen Amber." Junior says.

"I don't care what she looks like. You're supposed to say what you mean, and mean what you say."

"Well, I can't exactly go back. Amber already said she would pick me up."

Louis palms his forehead. "We'll revisit this after that dance." The startling sound of the door sounds and Junior stands, barely agreeing as he chases after the door like a dog.

At the dance, Junior sways side to side while clapping his hands together. Amber stands a few feet away from him, but her eyes are trained elsewhere and she's barely even moving. Somewhere along the line, Junior notices this and drops his hands. "What're you looking at?" He wonders.

"Nothing important."

"Oh, okay." Junior resumes, clapping off-beat to the slow music and Amber averts her gaze from wherever she was previously focused on. "Why are you so far away? You afraid of me?" Junior feels his heart start to rabbit and Amber reaches out for him, pulling him closer.

"Yes, ma'am."

Amber scoffs out a laugh as she wraps her arms around his neck. "Can you stop calling me ma'am?"

"Yes, my sweet honeydew melon."

Amber holds him tighter and Junior smiles to himself, unaware of her wandering eyes. "Your skin is as smooth as a baby's bottom after the application of Desenex ointment." Amber pulls away slightly, tapping his shoulder. "That's enough, okay?"

"I'm sorry, Amber. It's just that, I never would have thought in a million years that I'd be here with you."

"Oh, I'm flattered." Amber responds. She sighs. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"If you were my boyfriend and we split up, and I said I was sorry and I wanted to start over, then what would you say?"

Junior doesn't waste a second to respond. "I'd say that I forgive you and whatever problems we have, we can work them out with kisses." Amber takes his hands, smiling slightly. "You are so sweet. You always know the right thing to say." She returns her arms around his shoulders, just as a masculine voice interrupts them.

"Yo, little man. Can I get this dance?"

"Sorry, man, I'm straight. But maybe on a fast song." Junior says, but Amber places a gentle hand on his chest. "I think he means me, Junior. This is Adonis, my ex-boyfriend." She explains.

"Let's go work this out with kisses." Adonis grabs her by the hand and starts dragging her away. Junior blinks in astonishment, left in the middle of the dance floor. Maybe this is what he gets standing Evelyn up like that. At least, now he knows that the feeling isn't nice.

Louis picks him up from the dance early and he sits quietly in the car. "From this point on, I'm done with women." He declares.

"What are you saying, son?"

Junior faces him and actually looks him in the eyes as he answers, "I want to be gay, Dad."

Louis holds onto the steering wheel, giving Junior a sideways glance. "You're just getting a taste of your own medicine."

"Yeah," Junior murmurs. "It's like the Good Book says, 'you wear what you sew.'"

"Something like that." Louis nods.

"I guess I'll have to go back to Plan B."

"And what's that?"

"Evelyn's already got her dress, and the dance is only half over." Junior mentions. Louis shakes his head, realizing that his son still hadn't gotten the picture. "It's not that easy. You expect her to be happy because you show up? What you need to do is say you're sorry on three different levels. I call them the three A's; First of all, you apologize. Secondly, you acknowledge that you know what you did wrong. And thirdly, you assure her that you will never do that again."

"So how do I know if it's working?"

"If you can get her to say 'Well' that's the key back into her heart."

It seemed like everyone was in a bad mood tonight. Evelyn was reasonably angry, and she had no one to go to the dance with, other than Eileen. Harry felt horrible about her son's behavior, he offered her a bowl of ice cream, knowing it was just an excuse for him to cheat his diet. He also just needed to cry into a tub of ice cream. He sits at the table with Evelyn and Eileen, angrily devouring the tub.

Evelyn stabs her bowl with her spoon. "Don't you hate it when men lie? They build you up just to let you down."

"Yeah." They all respond.

"And don't you hate it when they pretend to listen to you, stare you in your face, nod their head, but they don't hear a word you're saying?" Harry remarks.

"Yeah."

Phoebe knocks her fist on the table. "And don't you hate it when they dunk their cookie in somebody else's milk?"

"Yeah."

"And don't you hate it when they keep coming around, buying you flowers, saying how nice you look, and calling you beautiful?" Eileen scoffs, picking through her ice cream.

Harry gazes at his daughter. "Stay out of this, Eileen."

Louis approaches the front door, stopping abruptly when he sees the four surrounding the table. He puts his hand on Junior's abdomen to stop him from advancing forward and the older boy frowns. "What?"

"They have a war council set up in there."

"What's a war council?"

"That's when a group of emotionally damaged people get together, eat ice cream, and work themselves up into a frenzy complaining about men." Louis elucidates, spying through the window. He recognizes Phoebe at the table, swallowing down large scoops of ice cream. "Oh god, they've got Phoebe. Look at her, frothing at the mouth."

"I'm not scared of that." Junior claims.

"Well, you ought to be. Now, we're going in there. We're gonna walk quickly. Do not make eye contact with any of them." Louis advises. He pushes the door open and speeds past them, droning on. "Hey, guys! You all look so thin. Sorry, I can't hang out and talk right now."

Harry gets out of his seat and chases after the man. "Don't you run from me Louis Tomlinson!"

Junior stands behind Evelyn's chair and sighs deeply. "Can I talk to you in private, please?" His sisters follow him with their eyes until they're out of sight and he's left alone with Evelyn. He takes the chair closest to Evelyn and presses his lips together. "I couldn't really have a good time at the dance because I felt so guilty and ashamed about the way I treated you-"

"She dumped you." Evelyn assumes.

"Yeah. But I still feel guilty and ashamed because you're such a sweet person."

"And Adonis showed up, too?" She deadpans.

"Yeah. Look, Evelyn. I really wanna apologize for the way I treated you. Now I know what it feels to be used and I never want to make anyone feel the way I do right now."

Evelyn inhales deeply. "You know, you were the last person I thought would have done that to me."

Junior tilts his head. "So can we still be friends?"

"No."

He chuckles. "No, seriously."

"Oh, I am serious. I can't trust you. I thought you were one of the good guys."

"I am a good guy. Evelyn, listen to my words. I'm sorry I hurt you. I made a mistake, and I promise to never do it again."

Evelyn's glare softens and she sucks her teeth. "Well.." Junior looks at her expectantly and she rolls her eyes. "It's not gonna work." She says, standing from the table.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis enters their bedroom, finding Harry sat on one of their couches with that same book in hand. "Hey, babe." Harry clicks his tongue without removing his eyes from his page. Louis parrots the sound a few times before standing in front of the younger man. "Are you still mad at me?"

Harry looks up at him, still trying to prove himself. "It was a very intent dream, Louis. I just can't shake it."

"Okay, fine. Then I'm going to help you out." Harry drops the book and gives his full attention, green eyes remaining attentive to Louis. "You remember on the day you went into labor with Junior, you thought I moaned another girl's name."

Harry furrows his brows. "Where is this going?"

"But I didn't say another girl's name, you heard it wrong. I was dreaming about you. And I'm always going to be dreaming about you, I dream about making love to you, I would lay down my life to you. You're an incredibly amazing person, the most important and beautiful man in the world to me. You're my husband, my lover, and my best friend. That's where this is going."

Harry smiles shyly. "Really?"

Louis laughs. "Yeah."

Harry closes his eyes, throwing his head back. "I'm sorry. I know I have been a little crazy, it was just a dream, and I overreacted."

Louis smiles fondly and leans in to connect their lips chastely. "That's alright, baby. You know that's what I love about you." Harry groans softly and rubs his hands over his face. "It was just kind of a mess over at my Dad's. You know, my parents weren't speaking to each other at all, despite my mom willingly being there. I know they're not together anymore and my mom's had her fair share of partners, but it's obvious they still love each other. It was just stressful." He admits. 

Louis coos softly and pulls his husband into his arms. "Well, you don't have to worry about that here. I love you now and I'll love you forever." He says. Harry cranes his neck to kiss Louis again, sighing in his husband's mouth. He reluctantly breaks their kiss to speak, mindlessly toying with the hem of Louis' shirt. "My mom also mentioned this really fun place to visit..."

Louis groans, knowing that sentence starter was the beginning of the worst.

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

While Harry was in San Francisco taking care of his father, he did have a few sentimental moments with the older man. Despite their disagreements and very different opinions, he loves his father and he appreciates everything the older man has done for him, resulting in him returning that affection.

Anyway, Desmond talked his head off while he was there, and eventually blathered on about an educational program that could be very beneficial for the kids. (Or, all those children, as Desmond put it.) Harry found himself interested in the subject after Desmond gave him a brochure on the historic city, and like always, he immediately signed them up.

It wasn't much of a surprise for Louis to hear about it, but he wasn't excited either. As a matter of fact, no one was happy about the unexpected field trip.

Louis has to hear the exasperated complaints from his eldest son, whining like a child. "I don't wanna go." Junior grumbles, following his father down the stairs.

"Look, nobody wants to go except your mother, the history major. He feels that it's important for you kids to learn more about the history of this country. So, we are doomed to go."

"But, Dad, Old Towne Orange? Who cares about a historical fruit?"

Louis pauses from where he was selecting one of his CD's for the ride, curving an eyebrow. "On second thought, maybe your mother's right."

Junior scoffs. "No, you just want to go to Lobster Labs to eat lobster."

"Not lobster, son, the best lobster on the planet. Okay?" Louis corrects. "So you put on a happy face and let's go in the kitchen."

Junior lifts the right side of his lip, barely attempting a smile and Louis narrows his eyes pointedly. "A happy face."

Junior forces a wider smile and Louis nods in approval. They amble into the dining room, where Harry stood, storing a large cooler. He spots the boys at the foyer and grins. "Hey guys. You are in for a treat. I packed all colonial food. This is stuff our forefathers actually ate." He says, holding up tubberware. He puts them into the bin before walking back to the kitchen to grab a plastic bag.

Louis reaches out for it, carefully observing it. "What's this?"

"Oh, that's mutton."

"Mutton?"

"What's mutton?" Junior asks.

Louis takes a sniff while Harry answers his son's question. "It's elderly sheep that died of natural causes."

Louis presses his lips together, hiding a grimace. "Old, sick sheep. Mmm. Yummy." He remarks sarcastically.

Harry rolls his eyes and takes the bag back. "You shut up, too. We also have salt pork," He lists, pulling out the items. "non-alcoholic mead, and ve olde egg salad."

"Wow. That explains why ye olde lifepsan was only 36 years." Louis comments.

Harry smiles, waiving him off. "Could you please finish packing all this stuff up?" He requests and holds his stomach. "And do I look fat? You know what, I think I'm feeling a little bloated. I gotta go change my clothes." He blathers and heads towards the living room entrance. "Oh, put some Advil in the box for me, please. Thanks."

Louis groans audibly once Harry leaves the room and Junior furrows his brows. "What's wrong?"

"We're at DEFCON 1."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, the Revolutionary War is not the only period we're going to experience during this trip." Louis murmurs, watching Eileen enter the kitchen, covered in a ridiculous black robe and sunglasses. "Hey, look, it's the babadook."

Eileen folds her arms over her chest. "I can't believe I'm getting dragged to some stupid old town when it's Celine's birthday. Everybody's going to be at her party."

"Everyone but you." Louis adds. "Where would this country be if our founding fathers went to a party on the day the British were coming."

"I don't care. I hate them anyway. If it wasn't for them, we'd all have really cool English accents."

"Yeah, like Madonna." Junior interjects.

Eileen shakes her head and looks over the cooler Harry packed. "What is this stuff?" She questions, fishing through the items.

"Oh, that's mutton and salt pork." Junior answers.

"I can't eat any of this. I'm already bloated!" Eileen exclaims. She drops the container and lets out a loud scoff before stomping out the room. Junior jumps out of his skin from the abrupt sound and Louis clicks his tongue.

"What is it, Dad?"

"DEFCON 2. Whatever you do, do not look either one of them in the eyes."

Junior chuckles. "I think you're blowing this out of proportion."

As if summoned, Harry leans over the stairs railing to shout. "Who keeps squeezing the toothpaste in the center of the tube?! I tell you guys all the time, do not do that— you're squeezing wrong! This is a house of lunacy!"

✧˖°🌷𔘓 ָ࣪ + ̊

Getting everybody in the car is always a complicated affair, which only becomes more of a struggle when they've got suitcases to worry about as well. Louis straps the youngest ones in their carseats first, ensuring that the harness was secure. He gets the triplets in next and once they're situated, it's up for the rest to decide where they want to sit.

"I'm sitting behind mom." Eileen says.

"No you're not, I'm sitting behind mom." Junior argues.

"Why do you get to sit behind mom?"

"Because I'm the oldest." Junior immediately retaliates.

"You're the dumbest."

Junior's expression hardens and Avery frowns. "Where am I gonna sit?"

"Where you always sit. In the car seat in the middle." Junior replies.

Avery stomps his foot. "I hate that thing. I can't move and it makes my butt fall asleep."

"Will you quit whining?"

"But where's Baby Boy gonna sit?" Avery asks, referring to the bald baby doll he held under his arm.

"That doll isn't real. He doesn't love you." Junior rudely responds.

Avery starts to cry and Harry narrows his eyes at the older boy. "Junior."

"Hey, I know what you're trying to do." Louis calls out from the other side of the garage, in front of the driver's side. Junior's trying to create a crisis so they wouldn't go, and Avery was an easy target, being how sensitive he is, especially about the torn up doll he's had since he was two. "We're going whether you like it or not, even if I have to strap you to the hood of this car like a dead deer."

Junior sighs and Louis directs them. "You sit behind me, and the Grim Reaper, you sit behind your mother. So it'll balance things out."

"That's not funny." Harry randomly says– well, to Louis it's random.

"What's not funny?"

"Your implication that Eileen and I weigh the same as you and Junior. You know, Louis, I have been working very, very hard on this diet and I cannot believe that you would make a fat joke at my expense." Harry rambles in an accusatory tone.

Louis' shoulders sag. "Baby, you're making a big deal out of nothing."

"Oh, I'm big now?"

"Will you lighten up?"

"There you go again. Lighten."

Louis raises his arms in defeat as Harry continues. "Why don't you just hook up a horse trailer to the back of the car and let me ride on that? Do you want that? Throw a blanket on my back, strap a feed bag across my face."

"Harry, chill out. This is supposed to be fun, remember? We're having fun." Louis reminds. Harry smiles, as if the word fun was an automatic switch for him and tells Louis to get in the car.

Louis shuts the car door behind himself as he adjusts himself on the seat, looking at everyone through the rear view mirror. "Before we get going, let's go over the rules. Rule number one, no hitting, no fighting, no biting, no yelling." Everyone mockingly mouths the older man as he lists them off. "Rule number two, no throwing things out the window, and number three, remain in your seats at all times. No switching seats. You got that?"

The kids all respond and Louis holds onto the wheel. "Okay. Does anybody need to go to the bathroom before we go?"

Everyone denies, but when Louis gets to Junior, the seventeen year old gives the most absurd response Louis has ever heard. Worse than the youngest children. "I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know? You either have to go, or you don't. It's that simple."

"No, for me, it's not that simple. Sometimes, I have to go, but then I'm not quite there. It's mysterious." Junior remarks.

Louis sighs. "You know what? I want everybody to get up and go to the bathroom." Junior gets out first, but instead of walking around the car like any normal person, he rolls over the entire hood. "What the hell is wrong with this boy?" Louis complains.

Harry laughs. "Lou, he's a teenager. His hormones are all over the place."

Louis hums and turns in his seat. "You know, baby, speaking of hormones. Do you really think that this is the right time of the month to be taking this trip?" He tries to lay down easily. Clearly, it doesn't work, because Harry does that chuckle that actually makes Louis' stomach churn. "Are you insinuating that my cycle has something to do with my temperament?"

"No, not at all." Louis lies. "It's just that, well, you and Eileen are both dealing with this "situation" at the same time and..."

"And?"

"Well, it's a volatile mix."

"And?"

"And, I mean, I don't wanna be tip-toeing around the whole trip worrying about what I say and how I say it. You know?"

Harry twists his lips, as if holding in an outburst. He hums for Louis to go on and he does, falling right into the trap. "Because you're oversensitive right now."

"Oh okay. Oversensitive?"

"Slightly. Slightly." Louis adds. "I mean, it's not your fault. I mean, you can't help that." He knows if it weren't for Junior leaping over the car hood again, he would've got his ear twisted or some kind of punishment, based on the way Harry's eyes narrowed.

"Hey, hey. Bayonetta, come here." Junior heaves out a winded breath and approaches the window. "You roll over this car one more time, the car is gonna roll over you."

Junior nods wordlessly and gets back into the car.

After Louis checks that everyone's buckled and ready, they set onto the road. Louis is stubborn when it comes to driving, especially using maps. He never admits when he doesn't know where they're going, because he believes that Google Maps is a scam, just like every app on the iPhone.

After twenty minutes on the road, Harry gazes thoughtfully out the window. "I think we're lost."

"We're not lost, Harry. I know where we're going. I know how to get to California." Louis says matter-of-factly. "Just shoot up the road and then we make that turn on the side road," Harry gives him an unimpressed look. "and that's gonna take us right in. Bing."

"Why don't we bing right here?" Harry says, tapping on the phone to open Google Maps.

An automated voice asks for their location and Louis loudly denies it, ending the program. "Why did you do that?" Harry asks.

"Because I don't need that thing telling me where to go. It's basically telling me I'm stupid."

Harry rolls his eyes. "This thing can map out our entire trip for us, Louis." He says disapprovingly.

"I don't need a computer, H. Okay? The founding fathers didn't have a computer to tell them where they were going."

Harry smiles spitefully. "Wasn't Columbus lost?"

"Yeah, because his husband kept messing with his compass." Louis says ironically and Harry scoffs, resting his head on the window in boredom.

"Yeah, and he thought the world was round." Junior says, laughing. "What an idiot."

Everybody looks at Junior and Harry shakes his head in disbelief, settling back in his seat. Louis decides to discard his son's comment and returns to their previous conversation. "Would you just please relax and let me be the pioneer?"

Harry smiled approvingly. "That is a really good idea. I'm glad you say the word "pioneer" because I thought of it like that, too. We have to be pioneers and that's why I got us all these coonskin hats." He announces, pulling out the head worn item proudly. He hands them to the back for everyone to wear.

Harry puts the hat on Louis' head as well, clapping happily. "We could be like Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone."

"This is a raccoon?" Avery asks, staring horrifyingly at the hat.

"No, they scooped all the raccoon out of it. It's just skin." Louis says.

"Yuck!" Avery declares, dropping the hat on the ground. Junior chuckles from beside his little brother, leaning forward to tease him. "That's how I'm gonna wear little Baby Boy when I'm done with him."

"Junior, cut it out." Louis chides.

"I'm not putting some dead animal on my head. That's disgusting." Alice says.

"Where do you think those leather shoes on your feet come from?" Louis questions.

"Donna Karan." Alice responds in an obvious tone.

Audrey gasps. "They scoop Donna Karan out?"

✧˖°🌷𔘓 ָ࣪ + ̊

Another hour on the road passes, three car songs, and a tantrum later, Harry asks him to stop the next time he's able. "For what?" Louis asks.

"Do I have to give you a reason?"

"No, I just need to know where you want me to stop. Do you want me to find a hardware store, a donut shop, you want me to pull over and let you get your taxes done at H&R Block?"

"No, I would like for you to stop at the next sarcasm store you get to and get a refill." Harry deadpans. Louis lets out a laugh, only to be interrupted by Harry's loud shout. "I GOTTA PEE!"

"Alright." Louis breathes, holding his hands up over the steering wheel.

Junior starts to scare Avery again, making the five year old scream loud enough that Harry's head starts to throb. Eileen scoffs irritably, leaning down to look at her older brother. "Junior, you idiot. Leave her alone."

Junior waives her off. "Alright, alright. I'll leave her alone. He inhales as he holds the headless doll up to his neck and turns to Avery. "But Baby Boy won't."

Avery screams again and Harry strokes his temples one last time before unbuckling his seat belt. "I've had enough. Junior, switch places with me right now." He demands, already getting up on his knees.

"Don't switch seats, Harry." Louis complains.

"No, we've gotta switch seats. I'm tired of this boy." Harry proclaims, leaning over the seat to switch with Junior. Louis sighs as the two try to fit through the gap between the front and back. Junior's butt blocks Louis' vision of the road and he protests. "You've got your butt in my ear."

Junior ends up with his legs stuck in the air, a failed attempt at getting in the passenger seat. Avery giggles from the back. "Your butt's in my face, Mommy."

"See, now your butt's in his face." 

Harry successfully sits down, while Junior's still upside down. "I'm stuck."

A siren whistles from behind them and Harry whoops in surprise, looking out the window. "Oo, Louis, that's the police."

"That's because you guys-" Louis glances at Junior on the floor and he slaps his leg. "Fix yourself up. You're violating rule number three, I said don't switch seats." He pulls over to the side of the road and rolls the window down. The police officer strides confidently towards the car, adjusting the collar of his jacket. 

"Hey, officer, how're you doing? Is there a problem?"

"Uh, yes there is," The chiseled man responds. "The rear tire on the driver's side looked a little low, but now that I'm here, I can see why. You have a car full."

Harry rolls his window down, tilting his head. "Excuse me, you turned on your siren and pulled us over just to call me fat?"

The police man's demeanor shifts slightly as he registers Harry's blunt response. "No, no. I was referring to the fact that there's about ten people in the back-"

"And one of them is fat."

"No, sir."

"Don't sir me, I am an American citizen."

The man looks around and Harry continues. "And as an American citizen, I have the right to weigh whatever I wanna weigh. You know what, you don't have a spouse. I can tell you don't because you obviously don't know how to talk to people."

Louis turns around. "Baby." he starts, in an innocent attempt to try and calm the younger man, but Harry interrupts. "Shut up, punk! You should be defending my honor, Louis. Instead of sucking up to Smokey the Bear." He reprimands. He glares at the police officer once before rolling his window back up. "I don't even want to talk to you anymore."

The police officer purses his lips and stalks to Louis' side. "Sir, are you in DEFCON 1?"

"Two." Louis corrects quietly. 

"That explains it." The man murmurs. Louis raises an eyebrow. "You're not going to arrest me?" The officer shakes his head. "Please." Louis pleads as he walks back to his car. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓 ָ࣪ + ̊

Harry and Junior end up switching back to their respectable places after the police officer left and Junior promised to leave Avery alone. They catch up on the time they lost while being pulled over, but it only resulted in Harry having to hold his pee longer. He groans from where he sat, his knee bouncing incessantly and Louis tries to calm him down. "Okay, there's a porta potty right up there."

Harry scoffs. "I'm not going in a porta potty." 

"It's a historical one. That's where Nathan Hale took his final dump." Louis muses. Harry glares at him before responding. "I'm not going in that, Louis."

"Neither am I." Alice says. 

"Okay," Louis reaches in the counsel to grab his coonskin hat. "Fill her up and you can use the tail to wipe." Harry rolls his eyes and takes the hat from him, huffing. "Alright, just pull over." He relents, already beginning to unbuckle his seat belt. Louis obliges and he quickly hops out the car, Alice following. 

Once Harry shuts the door with his back turned, Louis grabs the mutton and tosses it out of the way. "June, if your Mom starts with that Revolutionary War crap, I want you to grab the wheel because I'm jumping out this car."

"Got you."

Harry pulls the door open and settles in his seat. "Well, that was quick." Louis comments. 

"It was filthy."

"So what? What're you going to do, open heart surgeries? It's a bathroom."

"It looked like somebody died in there. There was a chalk-line of somebody's body right around the hole. Could you please find me a crime-free restroom?" Harry beseeches.

"That was the most disgusting, vile place I have ever seen. It smelt like a bug of old guts." Alice complains. 

"I'm hungry." Junior randomly interjects. 

Harry frowns at the mention of food. "What happened to all of that mutton?"

"Oh, we ate that. We chowed down."

Harry smiles approvingly. "Was it delicious?"

"I'll tell you, I wish we had more." Louis lies. Harry chuckles and reaches down beside him. "Lucky you, cause look what I found on the side of the road." He holds up the mutton Louis had thrown out and the older man forces a smile. "More mutton, huh?"

"Mhm." Harry glares.

"But you know what would go good with that?"

"What?"

"Some honey pepper wings, and that's what we're going to have for dinner. Look at that, Popeyes is right up ahead." Harry bitterly crosses his arms over his chest and sinks in his seat, offended that Louis would throw his hard earned mutton on the road like it was nothing. When they pull up to the drive-thru, a distorted voice utters through the speaker. "May I take your order?"

Everyone starts speaking over each other, their orders clamoring together in nothing but chaos. Once everyone's voice dies down, all Louis can hear is Harry's ridiculous requests. "Hot chocolate cake with extra chocolate sauce." 

"Is that it?" 

Louis raises his eyebrows. "You got all of that?" He asks in surprise. "Okay, I'd like... two breasts." He smirks to himself, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. "You know why?"

Everybody starts to groan, already knowing he's going to make a stupid remark. "I'm a breast man." He jeers, pointing back at Harry as if the operator could see him. 

"Dad, that's not cute." Alice grimaces. 

"First time I heard that one." The operator dully responds. "Drive to window two, please."

"Make sure they remember my toy." Adeline requests. 

"This is a chicken place. They don't have toys." Louis says as he pulls up to the designated area. There's an elderly already standing at the window, dressed in his uniform. "Hey, you might wanna get that speaker box fixed, back there. It makes your voice sound all wonky." Louis mentions, alluding to the distorted effect it took on.

The grey haired man raises an electrolarynx box to the side of his neck and speaks. "I'll tell the manager." He says, the same distorted voice returning. 

Louis blinks. "Never mind."

"Who ordered the two breasts?"

"That was me." 

"Sorry, we're out of chicken."

"But this is a chicken place."

"That's right. What're we supposed to be out of? Ham?" The man sasses. 

Somehow the man actually got their orders right, even with all the overriding voices. The only problem that comes up is that Eileen's fries are cold and she starts to cry about it. Ignoring any kind of social cues, Junior offers to eat her fries and Adeline retaliates, holding a box to her throat. "And I'll eat you." She distortedly responds. 

Louis glances in the back, furrowing his brows. "Hey, where'd you get that thing from?"

Adeline shrugs. "It's my prize. It was in my bag."

Harry exchanges a silent look with Louis, but they ultimately don't say anything. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓 ָ࣪ + ̊

Everyone's knocked out by the time they finish their dinner, except Louis, of course. He glances at the sign above the highway, but nothing about them is understanding for him. They've been on the road for thirty minutes now, and Louis comes to terms that maybe he is lost. But he obviously won't admit to it aloud. Quietly, he tries to whisper to the navigation system. When it doesn't hear him the first time, he repeats it a little louder. Of course, with Harry's owl-like ears hear him and Harry stirs. He looks around and narrows his eyes. "Louis, are we lost?" 

Louis scoffs. "No." 

Harry stares at him and Louis bites his lip, feeling his husband's eyes on him. He glances over after a moment, catching the look of the haughty glare. "What? We're not lost. I know exactly where we are. We're on this road."

 Harry continues to glare at him without saying a word and he withdraws his statement. "Okay, I'll speed up. I'll make up a little time, that's all."

Not even a minute later, they're pulled over again. A woman approaches the car and Louis smiles, putting on an overly-cheery voice. "Well, good afternoon."

The woman rests her hand on the roof and pops her hip. "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

"Probably the speed limit. About 55."

"Try 75. Didn't you feel all that wind through your hair?"

Harry lets out a derisive snort, leaning forward to see the officer. "Um, could you hurry it up? We're on a historical journey."

Louis hushes him warningly and Harry gasps in offense. "Don't shh me!"

"Have some respect for the law." Louis murmurs lowly. 

"You were the one flying down the highway like a bat out of hell."

"Can I handle it, please?" 

The officer clears her throat as she scribbles on her notepad. "I'm going to have to give you a ticket."

Louis clears his throat. "I understand."

Harry interjects again, squinting his eyes. "What is it, a quota this weekend? Or is it the end of your shift?" 

The woman raises her eyebrows and Louis chuckles nervously. "He's a comedian. He's actually driving up to Orange County to open up a venue." He fabricates."

"Give him a ticket." Adeline says, holding the electrolarynx to her throat. 

"And that's the opening act." Louis includes, pointing back to the girl. 

The officer chuckles as she rips off the ticket. "Did you hear the one about the guy with the court date?"

Louis thins his lips and accepts the ticket, looking back at his husband. "Thanks a lot, Harry."

"What?"

"And by the way, the tire on the passenger side is a little low." The officer adds, gesturing to Harry. 

Shortly after she's gone, Harry requests again to switch seats. Louis sighs as he sees the annoyed man through the rear view mirror, his arms crossed over his chests and a poker-face. "Baby, switching seats is silly." Louis says. 

"No it isn't. Because this way each tire will get even wear under the strain of my enormous weight." Harry mumbles. Louis rubs his temple and Harry adds, "Oh, yeah, and I might have to drive home. I want to make sure that the front left tire gets the benefit of my bulbous booty."

Louis inhales deeply. "Okay, baby, whatever."

Harry drops his jaw. "Are you agreeing with that? I know you just didn't agree with that!"

"No-- is there a right answer?"

Claire groans. "This is so boring."

"You can say that again." Junior mumbles. 

Adeline holds her "toy" up and repeats. "This is so boring."

"Boring? You guys, do you realize the significance of where we are?" Harry starts to ramble about some kind of historic monologue that Louis has no idea how he memorized. The only one that actually listens is Avery, who gives his full attention to the lesson Harry gives. 

"Are we there yet?" Phoebe asks. 

"Yes, we are." Louis announces and Harry squeals, folding the brochure in his hands. "And that is Old Towne Orange."

Junior furrows his brows. "Where?"

"The one that's behind the sign that says "Closed for renovation."

Chapter Text

Daisy has become notoriously known to have a boyfriend that she claims to be the "Love of her life" and "The one" or "The real man that [she] needs." Louis doesn't hold her on these false allegations, she's young, and technically as a twenty-three year old, her brain hasn't fully developed. So when she announced that she was getting married to Shawn, he thought it was a joke. Even after she messaged him wedding dresses and nominated Dakota and Delaney as the flower-girls. 

He really underestimated his sister, and he apologizes for it. What he apologizes for even more is the fact that they're one-hundred percent, out-and-out, going to be late for this wedding. It's not even an idea, he knows for a fact that they're going to be late for his own sisters wedding, and there's nothing else he can do other than pray and rush everyone to hurry up. 

It's four o'clock and he's already dressed in his suit, shoes on his feet, and nothing more than a comb driven through his hair. After all, it doesn't take much for a person as fine as him to get ready. Apparently, the same can't be said for everyone else. "I want everybody dressed and in the car at 4:15, which is exactly fifteen minutes from now!" He shouts from the foot of the steps. He sighs and places his hands on his hips as he stalks around the living room. For the first time ever, he's anxious to arrive at an event on time. Which, technically, is normal being as though the bride is his sister, and he's on the groomsmen list. 

Harry comes down the stairs and Louis could scream at sight of seeing his husband in only a robe, after all this time. He made everyone go up to change at twelve in the afternoon and Harry's only in a robe. What the hell? 

"Harry, I don't want to be late to another event. Not to mention the fact that it's my sister's wedding, we're literally all on the list for something." Harry bends down into his drawers in search for something, most likely overlooking everything Louis said. "You know, we're notorious for being late."

"So what?" Harry mumbles distractedly, reading the back of something. 

"So what?" Louis repeats in disbelief. "Harry, my family already thinks we're highfalutin." 

"So what?"

Louis extends his arms, emphasizing his point. "When you're late, Harry, it says that your time is more valuable than theirs."

Harry looks up rom the box of cinch clips. "It is. So what?" He leaves his desk to stride into the living room, hanging his clothes over the couch as he takes his clothes off the hanger. 

"You know, you even made me late to my cousin Camille's funeral?"

Harry furrows his brows, not understanding. "Louis, you hated Camille."

Louis nods. "That's why I wanted to be early. I wanted to get there and see her up front." 

Harry shakes his head and finally removes his attention from the clothes. "Will you please relax? I'm almost ready."

"Unless you're Judge Judy or The Pope, you have to do better than a robe." Louis comments, gesturing to his attire. Harry smiles slightly, exasperating. "I'm going to wear a dress. I'm just having trouble deciding which one." He murmurs, gazing back at his gowns. 

Louis fakes a gasp. "No! Harry Tomlinson indecisive on what to wear? When has that ever happened before?"

Harry laughs lightly before throwing his hands up. "Why did they decide to get married at night anyway?"

"Because my sister's an insomniac and her fiance's ugly." Harry rolls his eyes in mock disapproval and Louis starts to complain again. "Would you please just go get dressed?"

Harry lifts his gowns up and sighs. "Alright, alright. Which one?" He asks, holding the dresses in front of him. On his right, he has a sparkly blue dress that would certainly look good under the moonlight, and on the left there's a simple black gown that's frank, but would surely accentuate his figure. "Black or blue?"

"Black." Louis quickly responds. 

"Thank you very much. I'll be wearing the blue." Harry says. 

"Why do you ask me for my opinion if you're just going to pick the other thing?"

"Because I wanted a carefully considered opinion, Louis." Harry answers. "You just said the first thing that popped into your head."

Louis defends himself, "Well, that's because everytime I tell you to wear that, you wear this."

"If I felt you actually gave it some real thought, then maybe I would listen to you for once." Harry retorts. 

"Fine, next time I will give it careful thought. But you have to wear what I say you should wear."

"Okay, fine. Deal." Harry says as he gathers his things in his arms. 

"Now, would you please get dressed?" Louis urges, ushering him towards the stairs. Harry loudly affirms that he will-- is currently going up the stairs as Louis blathers on. Junior and Dakota go bolting down the stairs, rushing past Harry, who immediately reprimands them. 

Dakota, in her purple dress and white slippers, hops off the last step angrily shouting. "Give it back, Junior!"

"No, forget it. You lost the right to it."

Louis notices that Junior isn't even dressed in his clothes, so he steps in. "What's going on here?"

"Junior took my nose and he won't give it back!" Dakota exclaims, folding her arms over her chest. 

"That's right. I told her if she ever messed with my CDs again, I was gonna take her nose and throw it in the garbage disposal." Junior says, emphasizing the latter by bending down to Dakota's level. The girl stands her ground, simply narrowing her eyes. "You better not!"

Louis sighs. "Junior, give her, her nose back. We don't have time for this."

Junior chuckles. "Oh, come on, Dad. It's funny," he lowers his voice. "She actually thinks I got her nose."

Louis looks at Dakota. "It's not funny. Do you see her face?" Dakota's eyebrows are pulled together, her bottom lip pouted, which is a clear, warning sign that she's about to throw a tantrum. "She's not smiling, she's not laughing, it's not funny. Give her, her nose back."

Junior sucks his teeth. "No can do."

"Fine," Louis reaches out and yanks on Junior's ears. "I got your ears."

Junior laughs without humor. "Come on, Dad. I'm seventeen. That trick doesn't work on me anymore." He says as Louis wiggles his thumbs between his fingers. Louis moves his lips, as if he were speaking, but doesn't let out a sound. It's convincing enough, because Junior starts to shout. "Alright, alright, alright! She can have her stupid nose back, just give me my ears." He says and holds over Dakota's nose, as if to give it back. 

Louis twists Junior's ears and fakes concern. "You got them on? Are they on tight?"

Junior nods. "Let me check." Louis says and leans forward to inspect them. When he's close enough, he shouts. "Why the hell aren't you dressed?"

Junior slaps his hand away and grumbles. "I don't want to go. I'm always uncomfortable when all the relatives get together. And Aunt Jakelyn's always squeezing my cheeks."

"Well, then just cover them up."

"Not those cheeks."

Louis disregards that comment. "Look, Junior, we are going to this wedding whether you like it or not. Now go upstairs and get in the shower because you smell like corn chips and ass!"

Junior stops at the stairs. "I do not smell like corn chips."

Dakota returns from the kitchen with pudding and a spoon in her gloved hands. "Well, don't you look perfect." Louis compliments. 

Dakota scratches her behind, with the hand holding her spoon, may he add, grimacing. "My butt itches."

"As long as you keep your mouth shut." Louis jeers and guides her to the couch. 

"Daddy, can I finish my chocolate pudding?" Dakota asks, bringing the spoon to her mouth. 

"No, you're not going to get chocolate pudding on that pretty dress." Louis says, coaxing the items out of her hands. Dakota frowns, reaching out for the food. "Please, Daddy."

"No."

"Pleaseeee."

Louis sighs. "Okay, but let me put something on you first." He says and hands the pudding to her, telling her to wait. Dakota smiles, showcasing her gums where her two front teeth were missing. Louis jogs to the coat hanger and grabs one of their raincoats. He covers Dakota's shoulders with the jacket and quips, "I want to see you try and get some pudding through that."

"Dad!" Junior shouts from upstairs. 

"What?"

"I can't use the shower because Claire won't get out the bathroom."

"Just use mine--"

"I tried but Mom's in there."

Louis groans and heads up the stairs. Junior's waiting at the top of the steps and when Louis reaches there, he points to the door. Louis knocks a few times and Claire instantly responds. "Go away, Junior."

"It is not Junior, it's your father. Open the door."

Claire pulls the door open and cocks an eyebrow. Standing in the doorway boldly, her dress is designed for a cocktail party than a familial gathering, let alone a wedding. 

"And what do you think you're wearing?"

"The invite said sexy casual." Claire reasons. 

"Yeah, well, that's skanky formal and you're not wearing it."

Claire scoffs. 

"Get the furball out your mouth, change your dress, and come out the bathroom because Junior needs to take a shower."

She scoffs again and Louis raises his eyebrows. "You ugh one more time, I'm going to choke you for real." Claire sighs and leaves the bathroom to change. 

"Get in the bathroom, pigpen. You have six minutes." Louis tells Junior. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Standing before the mirror, Harry fluffs out his hair, scrunching up the back pieces to give it more of a curl. His curling pattern's become looser since it started to grow out, it now touched his nipples. Harry considered that as a sign that he should cut it, but the length also gives Louis leverage when he's... behind. 

Harry wore a sheer black shrug over his shoulders, matching with the blue evening dress he wore that touched just above his ankles. He tears his gaze away from the mirror when he hears the door open and his husband's voice cut through the silence of the room. "Oh, baby, you look great."

Harry beams. "Thank you, you think so?"

"Yeah. You ready? Let's go."

His smile slips off his face and he grabs two bags off the bed. "I'm almost done, Louis. Which pocketbook do you think I should take?" He quizzes, holding them out. 

Louis looks at the handbags under scrutiny, all for show, since Harry wants his careful opinion so bad. "The gray one."

"You sure?" Harry asks. 

Louis shakes his head in affirmation. "Yes, I gave it careful consideration."

"Great. Now I have to change my dress."

"No!"

"No, Louis. You can't change your mind." Harry says as he grabs the black dress from where it was hung over the couch. 

Louis throws his hands up. "Oh, come on, Harry. We only have four minutes left."

Harry's visibly unbothered by that piece of information, carefully straightening his dress out. "You know what, just put on whatever you want to wear," Louis breathes. He can't believe they're running into yet another problem. Must he remind that he had everyone start getting ready at 12 ? "Just hurry it up." He encourages, clapping his hands. 

Harry furrows his eyebrows and stops him there. "Don't clap at me."

"Don't clap?"

"I'm not one of your trainee's. I said I was going to be ready, I will be ready." Harry says, turning sharply to the bathroom. 

"When?"

"When I'm ready! Now stop bugging me."

Louis enters the living room to see his apparent only child that's dressed and ready. Dakota looks over the couch at him and grins. "I finished my pudding."

"Good for you." Louis enthuses with as much happiness as he can muster. 

"And I did what you said."

He raises an eyebrow. "What... What did I say?"

"You said try getting pudding through this, and I did. Ta-da!" Dakota pulls the jacket off, revealing the chunks of chocolate staining her dress. Louis' mouth falls open and he claps a hand over it, completely horrified by the sight. Harry is going to kill him if he sees what Dakota did to this dress-- a damn expensive one, might he add. 

He grabs Dakota's hand and rushes into the dining room, hoisting Dakota up on the table. Louis frantically fishes through Harry's drawers that contain all his fashion utensils. Louis pulls out the tape and scissors, and starts cutting around the stain. When that's removed, he tapes the two separate ends to her skin to keep it in place, ending up with what looks like a very low and inappropriate V-line. 

Yeah, that definitely wasn't going to work. He throws Dakota over his shoulder and runs for the stairs, the seven year old giggling at every step he took. 

He places Dakota on the ground when they enter her room and he quickly goes inside her closet. Every dress Louis pulls out, Dakota denies. She's starting to sound just like her mother. Louis gives up after the fourth dress and drops them on the bed. "You pick something out and put it on in one minute, meet me downstairs when you're done, okay?"

Dakota nods and Louis runs back downstairs, checking his watch. It would be fifteen in exactly thirty seconds. Louis reaches the end of the stairs and holds onto the banister, announcing. "Dressed or not, we're leaving this house in exactly ten seconds, nine seconds, eight-"

"Alright, we're here already!" Harry interrupts, holding a bleary-eyed Allison on his hip. Eileen had the other twin in her arms, because Harry's other was occupied with the diaper bag. He settles beside his husband and starts counting off everyone. "Where's Dakota?"

Louis sighs and yells for her. "Dakota, come down! We'll dress you in the car."

"But I'm done already."

"Then come on down."

Dakota watches her step as she descends down the stairs. Ridiculously enough, she's wearing a fairy costume, wings and wand, and all. 

Eileen draws her eyebrows together. "Dakota, what're you doing in your Halloween costume?"

"I spilled pudding on the other one."

Harry places his hand on his hip. "Well, who would be dumb enough to give her some chocolate pudding?" He rhetorically asks. 

Louis avoids his eyes. "Yeah, who would?"

Harry shakes his head and gestures at his daughter. "She can't go like that. Look at the... she's wearing wings!" 

Delaney glances at her twin and then herself, the two dressed incredibly different. "How come she gets to wear her fairy costume? I have to wear this stupid itchy dress."

Harry gasps dramatically. "That is not a stupid dress Delaney Maeve! That's Chanel, a brand people would die to wear." He chides. Louis places a hand on his shoulder and he frowns. "Delaney, just run upstairs and pick out a costume, and do it quick. You can change in the car."

Delaney grins and darts away. 

Harry spins around, disbelief written all over his face. "Did you just-- first you got pudding on Dakota's dress and allowed her to put on a ridiculous costume and now you have her sister doing the same? What's next, a circus troupe?"

"I got this, baby. All of you just get in the car."

Eileen groans and starts walking, everybody else following suite, dragging their feet on the ground. "You guys better put a move on it. I'm going to deduct money from your allowance every second we're late." Louis doesn't even need to finish his sentence because everyone who has an allowance starts sprinting out the door. 

Harry mopes, too, even letting Allison twist and pull his curls without complaining. Allison being in his arms doesn't stop Louis from including the man in he mix. "You too, Harry."

"Oh, shit."

Delaney, thankfully, chooses a costume that's similar to Dakota's. She's in a princess dress that Louis' sure has been cycled through almost every child. It's an old ass dress, but it works, and Harry keeps it intact. So why not keep it? 

Delaney happily adjusts her tiara from the backseat and Louis gazes at everybody through the rearview mirror. "We're all ready to go, right?" 

Sounding dead, everyone affirms monotonously. 

Harry closes the dual swing mirror where he was applying a sheer layer of lip gloss and sighs when Louis asks if he has the directions. "It'll take two seconds." He murmurs, pushing the door open. Again, with the clapping, Louis urges him to hurry and he glares. "Louis, I swear."

"I was just cheering." Louis lies. 

Harry returns shortly after and only then does Louis realize he forgot the keys. He groans frustratedly and jogs into the house, searching for the keys. He finds them at the dinner table and swipes them off the table. When he turns around, Eileen's striding into the room. "What're you doing back in the house?"

"Dakota cut the cheese."

"So what?"

"It was Limburger."

"Alright, Dakota, take off your seat belt and come on!" Harry shouts from the entrance. Louis wants to stomp his damn foot. Emphasizing with his hands, he protests, "No! No! We're too close to being on time for this to unravel."

Harry ushers everybody else inside the house and chimes in. "She has to go to the bathroom. And besides, the car has to air out now."

"Well, if it's so bad in there, why's Junior still sitting there?"

Harry scoffs. "I don't know, he's your son."

The car alarm sounds loudly from the garage and Louis groans, actually stomping his feet this time. He trudges to the car, where Junior's twisting and turning the wheel, imitating some scene like he's an excerpt from Fast and Furious. Louis knocks on the window, startling the boy off of the wheel. Unlocking the door and turning off the damn alarm, Louis takes a seat, only to get up right after. "What is the smell in here?"

"Dakota pooted."

Louis shakes his head, plugging up his nose. "You stay here. Roll these windows down and let the car air out. I'll be back here in one minute, do not move." Junior sighs and leans back in his seat. Louis crouches down once more. "And, son, this... this smell, it doesn't bother you at all?"

"No. It reminds me of a simpler time." Junior says thoughtfully. 

Louis blinks and decides to not respond, heading back inside of the house. Louis notices Eileen stepping off the ramp and he frowns. "Hey, who was that on the phone?"

Eileen looks over her shoulder. "It was Georgia. I've got to go change."

Louis immediately cuts her off. "Oh, no, no, no. We're way too late for that. Let's go."

"But I just found out that Georgia's wearing the exact same dress. We'll look like dorky twins!"

"No, you won't. You're so much more beautiful than she is." Louis says, trying to change her mind. It works, Eileen quickly takes his words into consideration. "Yeah, you're right." Louis brings his hands together in a silent Hallelujah, but she throws in another excuse. "Well, I'll just go put on a sweater. It'll just take me a second."

"No, it's not going to take a second. You lie," Louis follows after Eileen. "You like just like–"

"Just like who?" Harry asks as he walks down the stairs. 

Louis purses his lips. "Her brother."

"You know, Louis, you stressed me out so bad that I almost forgot my earrings." Harry points out, striding towards him. Harry stops when they're a few feet away and holds up a box of earrings. One of them is a pair of dangling diamonds while the other are simple studs. "Now which earrings should I wear?" He enunciates slowly, like Louis needed to process his question. 

Louis sighs and gets down to his knees. He closes his eyes and points to a random one. "The studs?" Harry asks. He peaks an eye open and shrugs. "That's what the Lord says."

Harry glances back down at the box. "You sure?" Louis nods and Harry smiles. "You chose wisely." Louis looks up at the ceiling in a quiet prayer— "Now all I have to do is change my shoes to match the studs."—and it's ruined.

 Louis grumbles. "Well just hurry up. Come on–" He claps on accident and Harry quickly turns around. "–I killed a fly."

Dakota comes limping down the stairs and Louis sees that she's missing her shoes. "That must've been a poop. Did you blow your foot off?" He quips. 

"No, Daddy."

"Then where's your shoes?"

"I have no idea."

Louis sighs. "Okay, let's retrace your steps. Number one, did you go in your room?"

"No."

"Okay, number two. Did you go to the bathroom?"

"Yes."

"Okay, number three. In the bathroom, what number did you do?"

"Number two." Dakota declares, holding up her fingers. 

"Number two? So the answer to number three is number two."

"I did number one, too."

Louis takes a moment to think. "Okay. So, the answer to number three is one and number two, too."

Dakota laughs, holding her hands up. "I have no idea."

Louis smiles. "Neither do I." He gathers her in his arms and sits her on the couch leg.  "Look, you sit here and Daddy wants you to show me exactly what you did in that bathroom."

Dakota starts to grunt and he loudly interrupts. "No! No, not that. With your feet. What did you do with your feet?"

"I was kicking my legs like this." Dakota says, swinging her feet. "And my shoe flew off."

Louis drops his mouth open and he huffs out a laugh. "I think I know where that other shoe is."

In the bathroom, he uses a wire to pull Dakota's shoe out of the toilet water. Dakota grimaces when he puts the drenched shoe on the floor and tells her to put it on. "I'm not gonna wear that."

"Why not? It's clean, it's got even the blue stuff in it."

"Daddy!"

"Alright, whatever your next favorite pair of shoes are, put them on and let's go, please."

Louis opens the door for Dakota and Harry shouts resonate through the halls. "Now your Mom's rushing me." He sighs out. 

Eileen's in a new dress when he makes it downstairs. Louis can't even complain about it, she was on time, after all. Harry crouches down slightly and starts clapping, clearly mocking him. "Come on, boy!"

Louis rolls his eyes. "You see, I don't mind that. I look at it as applause for being on time," He remarks. "Which we actually are, because I built in a ten minute cushion knowing that you guys would be late."

Harry raises his eyebrows. "That is very clever. Where's Dakota?"

Dakota steps down the stairs and Harry exhales loudly. His patience is really being tested this evening. "Baby, why are you wearing your cowboy boots?"

"Daddy said I could wear my second favorite pair of boots." Dakota quotes, marching towards her mother. Harry glances at Louis. "She can't go to the wedding like that."

"Why not? She looks good." 

Louis ushers everybody through the front door, claiming that the kitchen was too many distractions. They have to go through the troubles of getting everybody situated in their car seats, again, securely strapping the little ones in. Louis peeks through the window to see if they have everyone and he realizes that Junior isn't in his damned seat. 

He hears a beep and he frowns. "What's that?"

"It sounded like the microwave." Harry answers. 

Louis walks with hurried steps into the house and finds Junior at the table, whistling to himself as he peels the crust off his sandwich. Louis throws his hands up. "What the hell are you doing in here?"

"I got hungry. So, I made a tuna-melt. Want a bite?"

"Yeah, I want to bite your head off. Put the sandwich down and get back in the car."

Junior sighs and takes his plate with him, rising to his feet. The telephone starts to ring and he offers to get it, but Louis grabs his elbow. "That's just another distraction. We've already wasted enough time."

Louis shuts the lights off and breathes a sigh of relief once his feet finally touch the floor. 

Finally.

What he doesn't know, however, is that the phone is sent to voicemail, and Lottie leaves a message. 

"Pick up the phone, Louis. I know you guys haven't left yet. Anyway, the wedding's been cancelled. Daisy got stood up by the ugly man."

Chapter Text

Allison and Faith sit at the table, up before their siblings, like usual. Allison swings her legs as she nurses a spoon of oatmeal in her mouth, watching her glass of milk ripple from the footsteps coming down the stairs. She finally pulls her spoon out of her mouth with a pop, only for a glob of oats to fly off the spoon and onto Faith's nose.

Faith scrunches up her face, her eyes crossing slightly as she tries to see the offending glob. She wipes it off with the back of her hand and frowns at her sister. "You gotted oatmeal on me!" She complains, her voice whiny but loud.

Allison, still swinging her legs, giggles. "You look silly."

"You're messy!"

"I'm not messy, you're messy!" Allison retorts, still giggling, unaware of the bits of oatmeal clinging to her own chin.

Faith's lips quiver slightly, more upset than angry now. "Mommy! Allie made me messy!"

Allison shakes her head vigorously, her light curls bouncing. "Nuh-uh!"

As summoned, Harry strides to the dining table, still cradling the pot of oatmeal in his hands. "Girls, what did I say about blaming each other?"

Allison looks sheepishly at her mother. "I didn't mean to."

Harry raises his eyebrows. "You think you should tell her that?"

Allison turns her gaze to Faith and repeats herself.

"Go get yourselves some paper towels so you can clean this up." Harry instructs. The twins easily oblige, hopping out of their chairs to grab the towels. Eileen comes into the dining room then, carrying her notebook in her hands.

"Hey, you want some oatmeal?"

"Oh, no. Just some fruit for me, thank you. I'm trying to slim down for next week." Eileen says, taking a free seat. Harry glances at her as he taps a ladle full of oatmeal on the edge of a bowl. "If you get any slimmer, you won't make it to next week. You're already wearing doll clothes."

Eileen rolls her eyes. "Have you looked at the calendar? Next week is when I take my school pictures. I don't want to look all bloated."

Harry gasps in mock understanding. "Oh! Okay, Eileen. I see. I thought it was something serious, like you were starving yourself for some silly, little vain teenage girl reason."

Eileen narrows her eyes at him as he starts fixing her a bowl. "It isn't silly, Mom. This picture goes into the yearbook." She reminds, like he needs any closure.

Allison and Faith return to the table with paper towels in hand. As Allison wipes the mess down, she catches part of their conversation and grins, trying to join in. "Is that why you eat oranges, Mommy? So you're not fat like Grandpa?"

Harry's lips curve into a half-smile and he brushes Allison's hair back. "No, love. Grandpa isn't fat... he's just big-boned."

"Good morning, princesses." Louis addresses, announcing his arrival.

The girls all respond, Harry retaliating with a kiss. "Daddy, do you know what time of the year it is?" Eileen broaches, smiling giddily.

Louis hums in thought and Faith starts to chant the answer around her oatmeal, her response coming out groggy and muffled. Eileen affirms, shaking her head fluctuantly. "Yup. Now, I assume you'll like the 'Deluxe Proud Parent Package.'" She reads, gazing over the packet her school sent. "This includes 62 lovely, wallet-sized pictures, 12 eight-by-tens, and a spectacular 48-by-72 tapestry-type wall covering."

"Wow, is it signed?" Louis japes.

"Of course."

"It must be too expensive for me to afford."

Eileen smiles. "You'd think so, wouldn't you? But you'd be wrong. Because if you buy now, you'll not pay 500, not 400, but only $299.95." She finishes, grinning widely.

Louis gasps, mock-serious. "And that's with the tapestry."

"Yeah! You bet."

"Wait, there's gotta be a catch," He leans forward, as if he were going along with it. "Wouldn't I be better off with one of those cheap-ass parent packages that I always get?"

Eileen's smile dims, morphing into a grimace. "You mean the basic?"

Louis nods, clapping his hands. "Yes, the basic. I like the way that sounds. Tell me, what's in the basic?"

Eileen grumbles, all the enthusiasm from previously, long gone. "The basic, otherwise known as "My Parents Don't Care About Me," package, includes four black and white wallet-sized pictures, and two eight-by-tens for $59.95."

Louis hits the table. "Sold. I'll take the basic."

Junior interrupts their conversation, hooting loudly. "Good morning! Guess what I got in the mail today." He says, holding out a card. Louis' smile slips as he discerns the object to be Junior's drivers license.

"Finally, I can drive by myself." Junior declares.

Harry, still serving breakfast to the other kids that have finally joined them, interjects with a smile. "I'm very proud of you, June. Come here." He exclaims. Junior accepts his mother's tight embrace, even allowing a wet kiss on his cheek.

He pulls out of Harry's arms to approach his father. "So, Dad. Can I drive your car to school today?"

Louis pours himself a cup of coffee, tilting the pot upwards to pause. "Well, gee, son. I was hoping to use my car to go to work."

"How about this? I'll drive you to work, and then I'll drive me to school. Then, I'll swing back by your job and pick you up around... 6:00ish?"

Louis gives a thin-lipped smile, pulling the sleeves of his shirt to look at his watch. "How about... never?"

Junior groans, trailing the man back to the table. "Come on, Dad. Why not?"

Louis shrugs, staring at Junior like the answer was obvious. "Because I said no. Now, go on." He demands, waving a hand towel at Junior. Junior sighs and turns to his mother.

"You're not driving my car, either."

"I didn't even say anything." Junior complains.

Harry sits up in his chair. "I'm sorry, you wanted to say something to me?"

"Yes. Mommy, can I drive--"

"No."

Junior's mouth twists and he sighs. "Fine. Can Luke and Nolan come over, at least?"

Harry smiles approvingly. "See, that's something I like. Yes, they may."

Junior takes that as a win. He makes his way to the hallway and stops when he gets an idea. "Oh, hey, wait." Louis turns in his chair curiously. "Do you think the bus driver will let me drive the bus?"

"I don't see why not. Just show him your license, I'm sure he's probably tired of working." Louis says.

✧˖°🌷𔘓 ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry dices strawberries on the cutting board, working on the fifth, possibly sixth, strawberry shortcake of this month. Faith's got quite the sweet tooth, she's lucky that the dessert includes a fruit, and that Harry likes baking enough that he doesn't get sick of making the dish.

Faith and Allison stand on stools over the counter, being his own little assistants. Allison diligently tries to scoop out perfect circles of whipped cream to top the strawberry shortcakes when Louis comes downstairs from his office, slightly disheveled from all the work.

Harry looks up from the cutting board and smiles, gently pulling his husband closer. "All done?"

"Barely, some sleaze shit so hard in the bathroom that they messed up the ventilation system and toilets. Now the plumbing company isn't even calling back." Louis mumbles.

Harry lets out a soft chuckle and rounds his arms around Louis' neck. "Sounds exhausting. But guess what, we're making shortcakes again!" He enthuses, flickering his gaze to the mess on the counter.

Louis glances at it, a slight smile playing on his lips when he turns back around, a mischievous one. "You're right, I'm exhausted and stressed, and I think you've got just the right thing to fix it." He indicates, giving Harry's bum a firm squeeze.

Harry stifles a laugh, hiding his face in the crook of his husband's neck. "We're not alone and I'm cooking." He mumbles into Louis' skin.

"I'm sure Allie and Faith won't mind taking over." Louis jeers, finally putting an appropriate distance between them.

The front door bangs shut, indicating Claire's arrival from school. Their focus shifts as Claire storms into the kitchen, her face alight with an unusual excitement. "I have the most incredibly fabulous news. I got invited to the senior prom!" She exclaims.

Harry squeals in joy and runs to his daughter.

Louis interjects. "Wait a second, you're talking about the senior prom?" Claire affirms happily. "But you're a sophomore."

Claire exasperates. "I know, that's why it's so great. At this point, I can go to three proms and become a legend of popularity." She enthuses. Harry wraps his arm around Claire's shoulder and guides her to the table. "Tell me all about it, baby. What's their name? Are they cute?"

Louis follows after his husband, disbelieved. "Harry, listen to yourself. You sound like you're seventeen."

"Get out!" Harry whines. Louis rolls his eyes, but obliges, going over to help the girls with the dessert. Once Louis is gone, Harry looks back at Claire, smiling infectiously. Claire sits up, inspirited. "His name's Donovan Maverick, he's the quarterback of the football team, an Academic All-American, editor of the school newspaper, and he's gorgeous!"

Harry celebrates with her, and Louis joins in, before killing their fun. "You're not going." Claire's smile drops, but Harry waives him off. "Don't listen to him. We have to pick out your dress⎯"

"You're telling me Donavan can take any senior he wants to the prom, but he's gonna take a sophomore. And he's going to take you?" Louis interrupts.

Claire affirms and Louis shakes his head. "He's gay."

Claire sighs. "Why're you being so negative?"

"I'm being negative because I'm positive about what that boy wants," Harry narrows his eyes at Louis and the older man shrugs. "You know what happens at proms."

Harry hardens his gaze. "No, I don't. I missed my prom." He narrowly reminds.

"Well, I know what happens. You wanna know what prom stands for?"

Harry lets out an exasperated sigh. "What?"

"Penises rubbing on my daughter."

Claire hides her face in embarrassment and Harry glares at Louis incredulously. "Okay, first of all, that spells prom'd."

"No, the "D" is silent." Louis replies.

Claire huffs angrily, standing from the table and Harry reaches out for her gently. "Go upstairs and let me talk to your father, please." She happily complies, throwing a haughty glare at her dad.

When she's gone, Harry slaps his hands on the table. "So, you're gonna say absolutely no to this despite the way I feel?" He clarifies, raising an eyebrow.

"Absolutely," Louis affirms. "The only way I'd let her go is if we took her." He says, aiming as a joke, but Harry gasps loudly, a wide smile crossing his face.

"Oh my god, that's a great idea! They're always looking for parents to chaperone, I could volunteer us!" He exclaims, already running for the house phone.

Louis chases after him, blocking the phone. "I was being facetious. I didn't mean we were actually gonna go." He says.

Harry protests. "Louis, what trouble could she possibly get in with us there watching her?"

"He's a quarterback, H, he's used to scoring in front of a crowd."

Harry rolls his eyes at Louis' ridiculous comment and folds his arms in front of his chest, drawing his eyebrows together in an expression that could only be described as the final word. "Louis, she's going."

✧˖°🌷𔘓 ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry takes Claire and Allison to the mall the following week in search of a dress. He only took Allison because she begged and begged to be able to go, but she happened to be a complete disturbance the moment they entered the dressing room. He kept having to pull Allison away from people's stalls because she would peak through, announcing a 'friendly' "Hello in there!" which always received a reasonable scream from the victim.

Harry sighs after a second incident and sharply pulls Allison away, trying to scold her in the gentlest voice he could muster, although he was afraid they'd be kicked out in seconds. "Just be patient, okay? We're going to leave as soon as we find Claire a pretty dress." He says, ushering her to a bench.

"Claire hurry up!" Allison shouts.

Claire pulls the curtains open, revealing a simple black cocktail dress, but Harry gasps like it was the best thing he's ever seen, clasping a hand over his mouth. "Oh, my baby!" He sobs.

Claire worries her brows. "Why're you crying again? This is the sixth dress I've tried on and every time I come out, you burst into tears."

Harry sighs, wiping away his tears. "Oh, because, Claire," he grabs her by the shoulders and turns her around to face the mirror. "You look so beautiful."

Claire stares at herself for a second before losing her vision as her curls are pushed in front of her face. "You remind me of what I would look like if I'd gone to my prom." Harry says, staring at the mirror and moving her head to the side to see himself. "Oh, yes, Claire, you have to go with this one. This is fabulous." He declares.

"Are you sure?" Claire asks, muffled behind her hair.

Harry matches his hand to her neck and nods. "Yes, go with this one."

Claire moves her hair back once Harry lets her go as he continues talking. "Now all we have to do is find a nice dress for me, and we're done."

Claire looks at him skeptically. "What are you talking about? Chaperones don't wear gowns. You put on a dark suit and sit in a corner while talking to the gym teacher."

Harry squeezes her hand, talking in a soft voice that mocked affection. "Sweetie, if I did that, then I really would stand out. But if I get my own gown, I can blend in with all the other kids."

Claire scoffs. "Yeah, like no one would notice a thirty-three year old foreign exchange student."

✧˖°🌷𔘓 ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis pulls off his shirt and tosses it carelessly on the bedroom couch. He glances at Harry, who's sitting cross-legged against the headboard, holding one of his many notebooks, humming to himself as he tilts his head from side to side.

"How's the prom stuff going?" Louis finds himself asking, curious to hear about Harry's enthusiasm.

Harry looks up from the notebook, grinning. "Oh, fantastic. I just found me the perfect shoes to go with the equally perfect dress," He says while flipping through the pages, preparing to show Louis his schedule. Louis knees himself onto the bed and peaks over his husband's shoulder, raising his eyebrows, impressed. "I made an appointment with Lou to get my hair done, I just set up a manicure, a pedicure.."

"That sounds all good for you, but what about Claire?" Louis asks.

"Who?"

Louis laughs, repeating himself. "Claire."

"Oh, yeah, she's good. She'll look great." Harry waves off nonchalantly. He sets his notebook aside and sighs dreamily. "Baby, we are gonna have so much fun at that prom."

Louis smiles, and although that's all fine and good, Harry can't forget the reason why they're even going. "I want you to remember that this is not about us having fun. This is about Claire not having fun."

"I got it." Harry responds in an obvious tone.

Harry clearly does not have it because the next night, while Louis' picking at the dried paint Audrey got on him earlier in the afternoon, Harry finishes a call from across the room, furiously jotting something down as he speaks on the phone. "Can you have it here by five o'clock tomorrow? Great, thank you. Have a good night." He hangs up the call and smiles, crawling onto the bed. "You're so sweet."

Louis cocks an eyebrow. "Really? What'd I do?" Harry leans forward to peck a kiss on his husband's cheek. "You just bought me a corsage. Thank you."

Louis laughs mirthfully. "I didn't think that chaperones wore corsages."

Harry pulls away and grabs his pen again, shaking his head obliviously. "I just want to be another one of the kids at the prom."

"One of the kids?" Louis repeats. "Okay, Harry, look... at the risk of me getting my head bashed in; don't you think you're taking this prom thing a little too seriously?"

"What're you talking about?" Harry mumbles, focused on his paper.

"I'm talking about how excited you are. In my mind, we're just going there to make sure the quarterback doesn't make a pass at our daughter."

"Yes, but there's no reason why I can't have fun and look good at the same time–" Harry retaliates, before he points out. "Which reminds me, I'm putting you in a tux."

Louis groans. "A tux? Why do I have to wear a tux?"

"Because, Lou, if I'm going to look good, you're gonna have to step up." Harry replies.

"Okay, Harry," Louis says, changing gears. "Is this your prom we're going to or Claire's?"

Harry sighs. "It's Claire's– c'mon, I'm enthusiastic, all for my daughter."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. And I'm going to have the best time I possibly can for Claire, and if you would stop trying to argue with me, then maybe you'll have the best time you possibly could, too." Harry responds suggestively, smirking when he sees the way Louis' eyes round like a child happy for candy.

"Like a real prom night?"

Harry affirms with a hum. "You know what prom stands for?" He quotes Louis and Louis smiles. "What?"

"Plenty rubbing on Louis." Harry whispers, leaning in to seal their lips. Louis kisses back but has to pull away because of his unbreakable smile. "Okay, I'll wear the tux."

"That's my baby!"

✧˖°🌷𔘓 ָ࣪ ₊˚

Prom night comes faster than Louis can blink. His disinterest in the circumstance is more than he can dread. He (very unhappily) dressed himself in the tuxedo Harry bought him and thereafter got kicked out of their bedroom because Harry quote — unquote"needed to be unveiled in all his glory."

He spends a few minutes downstairs before he starts shouting for Claire and Harry to hurry up. The rush obviously was so they could get out of the school quicker before Claire makes up an excuse on why they should stay longer. The doorbell rings just as he yells another complaint and he walks to it, meeting Claire's injudicious date. 

He pulls the door, revealing a titivated Donovan, sporting a bromide black suit. "You look older than me." Louis says accidentally, but he wasn't far off. He squints his eyes at the bearded boy as he shuts the door, observing the kid in front of him. "How many years were you held back?"

"None, sir." Donovan replies. 

Claire comes downstairs in her gown, heels clicking behind her as she approaches her father and date, smiling radiantly. She opens her arms for a hug and Donovan raises his hands, wisely saying, "I can't touch you."

Claire grimaces. "I see you've met my dad."

"I got you a corsage." Donovan mentions, opening the case. Claire coos and Louis smiles falsely, taking the flower from Donovan. "Let me put that on her before your hand slips and touch something that gets you beat up and then incapacitated." 

Claire rolls her eyes and waits for Louis to clip to corsage onto her dress. Phoebe comes tumbling down the stairs and shouts loudly once she reaches the landing of the stairs. "Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the fairest of them all, Mister Harry Tomlinson!" 

Harry turns from around the corner, sporting the same gown as Claire. Phoebe starts snapping pictures of Harry and Claire scoffs in disbelief, looking at her father accusingly. 

Harry grins, fussing with his curls as he heads towards his husband. He displays himself ostentatiously. "Wow, you're a vision." Louis comments. 

Harry giggles, twirling. "Thank you baby," he stands beside Claire and smiles. "What do you think?"

"I think I died in my sleep and this is hell." Claire remarks begrudgingly. Harry laughs. "No, silly. We're twins!"

Junior strides into the living room, curious of all the commotion. Smiling at his mom and sister, he compliments them. "Oh, look here. You guys look like a before and after commercial."

Harry furrows his eyebrows and Junior corrects himself. "No, mom⎯ what I meant was you look beautiful before, and afterwards you're still beautiful even after the twelve kids." 

Louis mumbles for him to stop talking and Junior swiftly crouches down to Phoebe's level. "Phee, you want some ice cream?"

Phoebe shakes her head and follows her brother out of the living room. 

Louis clasps his hands together. "Well, I think you guys look amazing. Don't you think, Donovan?"

"Absolutely. Claire didn't tell me she has a brother." Donovan accolades. 

Harry smiles widely as he adjusts the lapels of his gown, satisfied with the attention. "Thank you Donovan, you're so sweet."

Louis rolls his eyes at Harry's unabashed enthusiasm. "Okay, let's hurry up and get to the prom because the sooner we get there, the sooner we can get back."

At the dance, Claire stands at the punch table with Donovan, staring at her parents in disgust as they dance together. "I'm sorry that you're not having a good time, Claire." Donovan says. 

"It's not your fault, you didn't stick me with them." Claire grumbles, tearing her eyes away from the couple. Donovan twists his lips. "Do you want some punch?" He offers, trying to lift her mood. 

Claire nods her head and Donovan moves to the juice, scouting his surroundings. He turns back with puckered lips, only to come face to face with Louis. "Do you want some punch?" Louis repeats, holding up his fists. 

Donovan jumps away. "I'm sorry Mr. Tomlinson, I was just gonna give Claire a peck on the cheek to make her feel better."

"Don't try that with me. I did the same thing at your age with Claire's mother and I ended up being a daddy."

"Dad!"

"Sorry, sir. It won't happen again."

Harry comes between them, smiling excitedly. "Hey, what're you guys doing over here holding up the line. Come on, baby, we have to be seen or else we won't be nominated King and Queen!"

"Wait a minute, you can't be prom royalty. You have to be a student." Claire interjects incredulously. 

"This is America, honey. Whoever gets the most votes wins." Harry counters.

Claire's eyes widen. "I can't believe this." 

"I know, Claire! Isn't this the prom you've always dreamed of?"

"No, this is a nightmare! You ruined it for me." 

Harry frowns. "How?"

"Let me see," Claire says indignantly. "We're dressed the same way, you're having more fun than I am, and if I try to have any fun, Dad's right there to stop it." Harry glances at his husband, who's waving his hand in front of his face in a mock-gesture. Harry hides a smile, turning back to his daughter. "Now you want to be King and Queen? What's next?"

He almost feels bad, but then 112's Dance With Me comes on and he can't resist. "Oh, that's my song! Come on, Louis!" He exclaims, ushering the older man to the floor. 

Harry feels unabashed the entire night, ironically, possibly the most fun he's had out in years. Louis even dances with him, despite his determination on watching Claire. And Claire's left to watch them have fun with other teens while she bitterly stands in a corner. Donovan's at least sweet enough to stay by her side. 

When the Cha Cha Slide comes and they're still dancing like they don't have 10+ children at home, she stomps over to them. "Are you two crazy?" She hisses. 

"What? What's wrong with you?" Harry asks heedlessly. "We're having a good time!"

"Well I'm not!" Claire exclaims. 

"Cause you didn't turn to the left." Louis interjects, doing the motion. Harry goes to follow, but Claire yanks his arm, aggressively dragging him after her. She narrows her eyes once they're off the floor. "Remember how you didn't have a prom?"

"Yeah." Harry says distractedly. 

"Well, I'm not having one either!"

Harry smiles lightly. "Claire, you're a sophomore. You have two more shots at it." He reminds. Claire grabs him again, looking at him seriously. "Mom, listen to yourself! This is supposed to be my night, and at this moment, it couldn't possibly get any worse."

The microphone rings as a student speaks into it. "We'd like to make an announcement, that by popular demand, two nonstudents are this year's prom King and Queen," She shouts. "Claire Tomlinson's parents, Harry and Louis!"

Harry starts screaming bloody murder, pushing past his daughter to get to the stage. Harry stumbles onto the stage, still screaming as Louis does the honor himself of putting the crown on him. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓 ָ࣪ ₊˚

Claire's in the worst mood the next morning. She refuses to come out of her room for breakfast and only leaves to grab a bottle of cranberry juice. Harry tries to say hello, but she ignores him, and Louis, determined to not speak to them at all. She stomps out of the dining room after she grabs her juice. 

Harry twists his lips, feeling guilty. "We went a little overboard." He admits.

"We?" 

Harry narrows his eyes. "Yeah, we. You're the one that was hovering over them."

"Yeah, and you were the one who pulled out the cardboard and started break dancing." Harry clicks his tongue, twirling his spoon around his mug. "It was fun though, huh?" Louis comments. 

Harry chuckles. "It was."

Louis drums his fingers on the table before standing up from his chair. "Let me go talk to her."  

Alice left her and Claire's bedroom after claiming that it was too negative there, leaving Claire alone, likely basking in her anger. So, being the bigger person, Louis knocks on her door, opening the door despite her request for him to go away. "It's your father." Louis says. 

"Oh, you mean the King of the prom? Sorry your Highness." Claire snides.

"Your majesty will suffice." Louis counters playfully. Claire huffs and plops down onto her bed, glaring at her dad. "You guys made my first prom mortifying for me." 

Louis thins his lips, taking a seat beside her. "I know, honey, and your mother and I are really sorry. I mean, that's why he gave you his crown," He points out, fiddling with the plastic on Claire's desk. "It was his way of apologizing for having more fun than you did."

Claire rolls her eyes and Louis speaks gently. "Try to be understanding, Claire. Do you have any idea why your mother missed his prom?"

"No."

"Because he was giving birth to Eileen that night."

Claire's snark dissipates and she frowns. "Oh, I didn't know that."

"Yeah, that's because he never talks about the sacrifices he makes for you guys. That's just how he is. That was a very important night for him, he got a chance to be a teenager again. I'm hoping you will not only be able to understand him, but forgive him." Louis tells her earnestly. 

Claire shifts uncomfortably on her bed, anger turning into guilt. She watches as Louis leaves her room, leaving her to process what he had told her. She glances at the tiara Harry had given her as an apology, now sitting on her nightstand. She was bitter about a prom that wasn't even hers, when Harry had missed his first and only chance of attending one. 

With a sigh, she reaches for the tiara and leaves her room. Harry's still sitting at the dining room table where he's spent most of the evening, twirling a pen between his fingers. She approaches him cautiously, the tiara weighing heavily in her hands while she walks up to him. She places it on Harry's head and he lifts his hands to feel the object, smiling when he realizes what it is. 

"I'm sorry, mom." Claire says softly. Harry's expression softens, and he reaches out for Claire, pulling her into a tight hug. "Thank you, sweetheart. I'm sorry, too." 

Claire chuckles, murmuring against his shoulder. "It wasn't so bad. If I wasn't so angry, I would've found it funny. You were ridiculous."

Harry pouts. "Hey, I was just having fun."

"And I'm glad you did." Claire sincerely replies. "Just don't ruin my real prom."

Harry laughs. "I swear I won't."

Chapter Text

Harry and Junior enter the house with their arms full, Harry with their groceries, and Junior with the new computer Harry bought him.

Junior voices his gratitude the moment they make it through the entrance, mentioning how it would improve his schoolwork. Harry's just happy that he was able to buy something for Junior, since he knows he's lacking in that department compared to the girls.

Junior passes by the couch, where Louis was sitting, saying a brief hello. Louis reciprocates the expressions, taking a double-glance when he sees the box in his son's arms. He frowns, looking into the kitchen where Harry was. "Hey, I thought you said you were just shopping for towels."

"I did." Harry says, dropping his keys into a bowl.

Louis cocks an eyebrow. "When did Chrome start making towels?"

Harry rolls his eyes, walking into the living room. "Walmart was having a sale and I got Junior some upgrades on his computer," He points out. "That's a deluxe internet package."

—not that he has to explain himself.

"Oh, great. Now, his porn will pop up just as fast as he does."

Harry places his hands on his hips. "He's not going to use it for porn."

"And how do you know that?"

"Because he told me." Harry declares, walking back to the kitchen. Louis believes Harry has too much faith bestowed in their children, while Harry just likes to assume the best rather than the worst.

Louis is just a grumpy pessimist.

"Louis, why do you always have to be so negative about your son?"

Louis stands from the couch and stops at the doorway, leaning against the wall. "Because he is my son, which means he is always up to something."

Harry's eyes narrow. "I think this time he really has a thirst for knowledge."

"Oh, he's got a thirst for knowledge. And he's got a hunger for knockers."

Harry gives him an even sterner glare. "You're trivializing this, Louis. The internet is the information superhighway."

"You know what's on the side of every highway?"

Harry looks up from the grocery bags, already expecting a foolish response. "What?"

"Prostitutes."

Harry huffs out a laugh. "That's ridiculous. The internet is like the world's library— you of all people should know that." He says meaningfully.

"Look, didn't we agree that with a purchase this significant, we would at least discuss it? Especially when it concerns the kids?" Harry purses his lips and Louis points to himself. "See, now I have to be the bad guy and take this stuff back." He says, starting to walk away.

Harry marches after him. "No, you do not have to be the bad guy because you're not taking it back."

"Oh, yes, I am."

"Oh, no. You're not."

"I'm taking it back."

"And I'm calling Dr. Payne." Harry replies, putting on a snarky smile. Louis' stomach churns at the sound of that lunatic shrink. "Okay, he can keep it."

"Nope." Harry declares, grabbing the house phone.

✧˖°🌷 𔘓 ָ࣪ + ̊

"So what brings you here today?"

Harry and Louis start to simultaneously complain over each other, making Liam sit up in his chair. "Woah, hold on. Harry, why don't you go first?"

Harry sighs, getting comfortable on the couch — crossing his legs. "Okay–"

"Wait, why does Harry have to go first? I'm the one paying for all these sessions." Louis comments. Harry rolls his eyes and Dr. Payne tilts his head. "Okay, Louis. Since it's so important to you, you go first."

"No. I want to hear what he has to say first." Louis says, leaning back on the cushions. Harry shakes his head. "That's the problem right there. He tries to control everything."

Dr. Payne hums. "A control freak. I see that."

"No. This is not about me being a control freak. This is about the simple fact that this man doesn't do a single thing I ask him to do." Harry lets out a loud sigh as Louis continues. "I asked him to take something back to the store, he refused to do that."

Harry arches an eyebrow. "You hear him, right? This is supposed to be an equal partnership here."

"Equal?" Louis repeats.

Harry parrots, "Equal!"

"No. How is it equal when I buy you diamonds for our anniversary and you give me a picture of you?"

Harry forces a smile, turning to face Louis. "It's equal, Louis, because I'm the one who spit all these kids out."

Louis groans. "There you go playing the birth card. But you never talk about all the hard work I put into making those kids."

Harry scoffs and Dr. Payne whistles, raising his eyebrows. "I'm sensing a lot of hostility from the both of you. We've covered a lot of interesting ground here, today. I want you guys to go home and work on having a marriage that is truly equal."

✧˖°🌷 𔘓 ָ࣪ + ̊

Junior clicks his mouse sporadically, moving the cursor around on his computer screen. His bedroom door opens and closes. Hearing someone fall onto his bed, he turns his head, spotting Claire on his bed. "What do you want?"

"Nothing, June." Claire says in a falsely sweet tone, using the nickname that barely anyone uses nowadays. Junior curls his lips in distaste. "Can you do nothing outside of my room, my least favorite sister?"

Claire sighs. "Come on, don't be so mean."

"What do you want? And talk fast." Junior grumbles, turning back to his desktop.

Claire drops her hands on her lap. "Well, you know that guy you hang out with. Amari, from the basketball team? I think his name is Amari." She blathers.

"Faster."

Claire bites her lip. "Does he have a girlfriend?"

Junior turns in his chair, wearing a smirk. "I don't know. Why? Do you like him?"

"Maybe. Kind of."

"What do you like about him?"

Claire smiles, staring off as she twirls a curl around her finger. "I don't know. It's something about the way he stands and chews his gum," she dazes off. "Oh, and that thing he does with his hair!"

"You mean comb it?"

"Yeah!" Claire responds. "Do you think he likes me?"

"I don't know. Let's ask him." Junior spins back in his chair and clicks out of his tab to go to his video call. "Hey, Amari, do you like my little sister?"

Claire furrows her eyebrows. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, see that thing?" Junior points to his video camera. "It's a webcam. It sends out pictures of my room 24-hours a day on JuniorTomlinson.com."

Claire stands from the bed and peers at his laptop, squinting her eyes. "No way."

"Yeah, all my friends got it, too. Including Amari. See, look, he's waving at you." Junior points out.

Claire grunts. "I hate you!" She shouts, stomping out Junior's room.

Louis strides into the house with an armful of groceries, setting it onto the counter. Harry follows after him, exhaling loudly. "You forgot to close the door, Lou."

"No, I opened it, partner. You close it." Louis replies, cocking his head at the door. Harry turns around to look at Louis, noticing that he only has one bag. "Aren't you going to get the rest of the bags?"

"Oh, no. You said 'equal relationship.' I got my two."

Harry narrows his eyes. "All you got was toilet paper and potato chips."

"Yeah, I figured my partner could handle the three turkeys and those six cases of water."

Harry folds his arms over his chest and Louis tickles his sides. "Go on."

"I'll get it when I'm ready!" Harry says, twisting out of Louis' hold. Louis grins maliciously and approaches the dining table where Alice and Phoebe were playing a game of checkers. "Hey, girls. I think I'm going to watch some TV. You don't think that's subconscious aggression manifesting itself, do you, Phoebe?"

Phoebe furrows her eyebrows. "I hope not." She answers in a confused manner.

"Maybe I should run it by my partner. Get his opinion before that critical decision to watch SPORTSCENTER. Huh, Alice?" Louis mocks.

Alice makes a face. "I don't know."

"See, I appreciate someone who says they don't know something when they don't know something." Louis states. Harry continues to glare at his husband, his expression only faltering when he receives a sharp slap on his ass.

He glares at Louis' retreating figure and approaches his daughters. "Okay, girls. What do you want for dinner? Chicken or pork chops?"

"Daddy doesn't like pork chops." Alice mentions.

"Pork chops it is." Harry says, walking to the kitchen.

Phoebe frowns, poking at their game pieces. "Are you and Daddy fighting?"

"No, baby. We're not fighting." Harry answers, closing the refrigerator.

"Come on, Mom. We all know when you and Dad are on the outs." Alice says.

"We're not fighting. We're fine."

Alice smiles. "Okay. Then why don't you go in there and let Dad give you a big kiss?"

Harry peeks into the living room where Louis was sitting in front of the TV. "Oh, I got something he can kiss alright." He mutters.

✧˖°🌷 𔘓 ָ࣪ + ̊

Harry does laundry to distract himself. He's even cleaning Junior's room, so you know it's bad. He uses his index and thumb to lift certain items, dropping it in the laundry bin. Picking up the rest of Junior's clothes from the bedroom floor, he moves the basket onto Junior's table to grab the younger boy's jacket. 

"Hey, you forgot something." Louis hints, standing at the doorway. He throws his jacket off and Harry closes his eyes as it fits his face. He chuckles lightly, pulling the article away. "I'm laughing, but I'm still mad at you." 

"Don't be. Listen, I thought about us this morning when I woke up. I tried to imagine I was you." Louis says. 

Harry tips his head to the side. "And?"

"It was good. I spent, like, fifteen minutes in the shower playing with my breasts." 

The corner of Harry's mouth twitches and he sighs. "I hate it when we fight."

"I mean, I wouldn't call what we had a fight. It was more like a heated discussion."

Harry smiles foxily, starting to catch onto what Louis was implying. "Really? 'Cause you know, if it was a fight fight, we would have to do something special to make up." He says, encroaching on his space until their breaths were mingling. "Oh, then it was a big fight. A big, nasty one." Louis amends. 

Harry giggles, wrapping his arms around Louis' middle. "And if it was really, really bad, we'd have to fix it immediately."

Louis smirks. "You mean like right here?"

Harry hums affirmatively, leaning in until their lips hover over another. "Right now." He beckons Louis forward, finger hooked around the hem of the older man's shirt. He recedes until the back of his knees knock into Junior's bed and he falls down with his husband on top of him. Harry holds the side of Louis' face, connecting their lips in a hungry kiss. 

Louis moans into Harry's mouth, lips smacking together and crotches rubbing over another, until Louis abruptly pulls away. "Hold up, we have to use protection." Louis declares, hopping off the bed. 

Harry sits up, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "What?" He watches Louis jog to Junior's collection of valuables. Louis lifts up a red football helmet and Harry just laughs, not quite scandalized by the idea.

Now that Harry and Louis are getting long again, they can't keep their eyes off each other. Harry fixes them a lovely cuppa, using their ceramic mugs for the 'special' occasion. He thinks Louis might've actually fucked his brains out because he can barely think as his numbing lips touch the steaming rim of his mug. 

Louis gently wraps his hand around Harry's wrist, wordlessly gazing into the younger man's eyes. 

The front door opens and Junior comes inside. "Hello." He greets. 

"Hi." The couple say in unison. 

Junior stops at the table, observing his parents. "Oh, you guys are weird. Look, I think something's wrong with my computer. I checked my website at school and it said I had 16,000 hits." He rambles. When he doesn't receive a response from his parents, too endorsed in each other, he waives them off and heads up the stairs. 

Harry smiles, his cheeks still flushed from their activities. "We haven't done that position in a long time." His smirk slips off his face when Junior screams from upstairs, the sound resonating horrifically through the house. The couple immediately rise to their feet, meeting Junior in the living room. 

Junior bounces on his feet restlessly, wailing. "My eyes!"

"What's wrong with your eyes?" Harry asks. 

"No, please blind me! Please!" Junior pleads. Harry looks at his son suspiciously, parting his lips in surprise. Outside of the house, the car horn honks twice. Harry approaches the bay windows, grinning in surprise. "Junior, it's some of your friends outside." He says. "Oh, they're waving." He obliviously reciprocates the gesture. "They're blowing kisses⎼ that is so sweet⎯" Junior rushes to his mom and urgently drags him away. 

"What's wrong with you?" Louis questions, in disbelief of the boy's behavior.

"Oh, no! I can't say."  Junior cries and runs over to the couch, stuffing his face in the pillows. 

"You didn't hurt yourself, did you?" Harry asks. 

"No, I'm okay. Physically."

Harry stands with his arms akimbo, frowning at the boy. "It can't be that bad."

"Okay, let me fix this." Louis suggests. Harry doesn't put much of a fight, exiting the living room. Once he's gone, Louis takes a seat beside his son. "Talk to me. What's up?"

Junior opens his mouth, moving his lips inaudibly. He just can't find the right words. Honestly,  he doesn't even want to. He lets out an exhausted sigh. "I can't say it, Dad. I think I better show you."

Louis shrugs, curious to see what the hell his son's freaking out about. Junior makes a show of keeping his head down as they approach his bedroom. "Look at my computer screen, Dad." He murmurs. 

Louis gazes at the laptop screen and lifts an eyebrow. "This is exactly what I said was going to happen. You're looking at porn." He accuses, walking to Junior's desk. 

"Oh, that's not porn."

"I know porn when I see it, and that's porn! That's amateur porn. Look at it. This guy doesn't even know what he's doing." Louis proclaims, chuckling as he watches the screen. "Information highway, my ass." He quips. 

Only, he takes a closer look at the familiarity of the body on the screen. "Wait a minute. That is my ass."

Harry paces around the kitchen, becoming more and more anxious at all the screams coming from upstairs. He has no idea what to expect at the rate that Junior was behaving⎯the poor thing could barely think. 

Louis finally comes into the kitchen and Harry worries his eyebrows. "What is it? Did he hurt himself?"

"No, he's fine. But I think you need to sit down." Louis suggests. 

Harry frowns, moving to the table. "It's bad, isn't it?"

Louis thins his lips, opting to say something once Harry's sat down and there's a less chance that he'll bust his ass after Louis tells him what happened. Louis crosses his arms on the table. "You know all that computer stuff that I told you to bring back to the store?"

Harry groans. "Louis, don't start. We just made up."

"I know we made up. But now, everybody knows we made up."

Harry blinks, not catching on. "What're you saying?"

"Harry, one of the upgrades that you bought for that computer was a camera."

Harry scoffs. "So? It's for his education." 

"Oh, yeah. You gave a whole lot of people an education." Louis jests and Harry glares, urging him to get to the point already. "That camera stays on 24 hours a day and it broadcasts all around the world."

Harry lightly slaps the table. "Louis, I still don't see what all the screaming is about. What happened in his room in the last 24 hours that was so terrible?"

Louis raises his eyebrows meaningfully and Harry continues to stare at him expectantly, until, finally, the realization dawns on him. 

And so does a piercing scream.

✧˖°🌷 𔘓 ָ࣪ + ̊

Junior makes a point of avoiding his room, even leaving his computer alone. He's gone completely detox from electronics, sitting in the living room with a newspaper. Not only did he not want to be in his room, but his website kept blowing up with people talking about his parents. It was horrible. 

He looks up at the sound of his Dad's footsteps and he rolls his eyes. "Congratulations, you and mom are now famous. I can never leave the house again."

"It's not that bad, Junior. It's embarrassing, that's it."

"No, that's not it. I can never sleep in my bed again. I don't want to be anywhere you and mom had sex."

Louis smirks. "Then you better get off that couch."

Junior screams and leaps onto the smaller couch. "And off that chair," Junior runs to the stairs and Louis continues to pester. "And off those stairs. Don't touch that banister." 

He laughs to himself and passes the foyer, into the kitchen where Harry was fixing dinner. "Hey, quarterback."

"Don't start with me, Louis." Harry murmurs. Avery pushes the backdoor open and walks inside with a new friend he's made from within the neighborhood, Elijah. It was a big milestone for the boy, who usually keeps a tight knit with his siblings, rather than socializing with strangers. 

"Hey, Ave. Are you guys finished playing outside already?"

"No, I just have to poop." Avery says before quickly running off, leaving Elijah alone. 

"Hi, Misters.  Mr. Harry, my big brother says you're really pretty." Elijah says. 

Harry smiles at the compliment. "Oh, that's really sweet."

"And you are." Elijah adds. 

"Oh, Elijah. Thank you."

"So, you play football?"

Harry's smile falters and he furrows his eyebrows. "No... why?"

"My big brother says you wear a helmet."

Louis puts on a fixed grin, gently wheedling Elijah out of the house. "Why don't you wait for Avery outside?" 

Shaking his head, Harry mutters, "I can't believe this. I never imagined I could feel this ashamed of myself." 

"What're you ashamed of? Nobody's going to recognize you. You had the helmet on."

Harry groans, grabbing the plates off the counter to set the table. "You were right. I should have never bought that stupid computer stuff. I'm taking it back." He grumbles.

"See, there you go again, making decisions without talking to me first."

Harry drops the stack of plates onto the table and frowns, puzzled. "I'm... I'm agreeing with you

"Well, I disagree with you. I think we should keep it." Louis says, going on with his explanation after the dirty glare he received. "Junior got over 16,000 hits on the first day. I never realized how great social media was, this could be great for my business. Imagine if I were to have the company logo on the front of that helmet."

Harry blinks for a few seconds, utterly baffled by the suggestion. "Get out of my way." He waives his hand dismissively and ambles back into the kitchen. "Harry, all I'm saying is you're right. This is great!"

"Louis, what about the porn?"

"Oh, we could do that again. But I want to wear the helmet this time."

"Louis, you're insane."

Louis chuckles, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Come on, Harry. Lighten up a bit. We can turn this whole thing into a positive. Maybe even make a little profit off of it."

Harry huffs out a laugh of disbelief. "Profit? Okay, now you've officially done it. You're really insane."

The buzz surrounding the couple didn't last long because apparently one of the students at Junior's high school's mom got caught sleeping with the principal ⎯ their woman principal. And what better way to replace the attention with another queer couple? 

Later that afternoon, after the news Junior shared, Louis walks to the boy's room. "Hey, June. Where are you at? It's dinnertime." He announces, peaking into his bedroom. 

"I'm already downstairs dad." Junior calls back. 

Louis notices the empty room, an idea blooming in his head. "Where's your sister?" He questions.

"She's at a friend's house."

A menacing smirk plays on his lips as he looks back at Junior's solus computer. He closes the door and walks up to Junior's computer, turning around. 

Meanwhile, across the street, Eileen sits in a roomful of her girl friends, positioned in front of Evelyn's computer desk. "Let's go see what my brother is doing." She giggles, tapping on the keyboard. "I bet he's doing something stupid."

However, instead her father's full and plaid bum takes up the screen, his company's logo stamped on his underwear. 

Chapter Text

Harry helps Faith wipe off the apple juice she spilled all over her pajamas, softly reminding her to not squeeze the box. He was waiting for Louis to return from the store with the ingredients he sent him off for, and the twins, of course, were the first to wake up on a weekday.

Faith grunts behind the cloth, twisting and turning in her seat. "Faith, if you don't stop, you're going to get sticky." Harry chides gently. The girl finally stops squirming in her seat, allowing him to successfully wipe her down. He has to pull her shirt off for a change of clothes, however, just as he throws it over the chair, Louis enters the house. 

Harry smiles and strides towards Louis, taking the Whole Foods bags. "Thank you so much." He murmurs, pecking his husband's lips in a chaste kiss. Louis hands the bags over and sighs in a winded manner. "That's the last time I run a 'quick errand' for you." He mumbles. 

Harry laughs as he peaks into the bags, ensuring that Louis got everything. "I would say I'm sorry, but that's the only way all of us can eat." He says. He takes all the groceries out and moves to the stove where he boiled some water for Louis' tea. The least he could do was make Louis' tea while he was gone. He pours the contents from the kettle into a mug and brews the bag before heading towards the table, where Louis sat. "Listen, I have some great news."

"Your dad lost his address?" Louis proposes. 

"No."

"Your dad lost his will to live?"

"No."

"Your dad just got lost?"

Harry lets out an amused huff and shakes his head. "No! This is not about my father. My great news is about you."

"Really?" Louis asks in surprise. 

"Yes. What would you say if I told you that your adoring husband nominated you for a raffle to get front row tickets for Real Madrid's next game?" Harry reveals, smiling widely.

Louis simpers. "I'd say that my adoring husband did something special, but, there's no way I could win a thing like that because there's probably thousands of submissions." He says and returns to his cup of tea, stirring the brew together.

Harry bites the inside of his cheek and reaches for the paper sitting on his desk. "Well, this came in the mail today. You are one of three finalists." He points out, outlining Louis' name. Louis rises to his feet in shock, bursting into peals of enthusiasm. 

Eileen furrows her eyebrows in concern, standing at the entrance. "Did something happen to grandpa?"

Harry rolls his eyes. "No." He answers, noticing the enhancement of his daughter's face. "And never mind your father, my berry lip gloss is missing, Eileen." He mentions, folding his arms in front of his chest. 

Eileen covers her mouth. "I haven't seen it." She mutters, ambling around her mother. 

"Let me help you out. Some of it is on your lips." Harry says, trailing after her. Eileen gasps, turning from the fridge. "How did that get there?"

"Eileen, you have to stop playing in my makeup. You know how sensitive your skin is." Harry reprimands. Eileen's shoulders sag. "I'm sorry, mom. But this is my favorite color, and on my measly salary, I have to work three extra hours just to buy one tube."

Harry lays out his palm for her to hand over the tube and Eileen huffs, surrendering it. "I'll make a deal, you make the blueberry pancake batter, and I'll pay you $50."

"$50?!" Both Eileen and Louis exclaim incredulously. 

"Yes, $50," Harry says, responding to his husband. "$50 for cooking for fourteen people. It's about the same price as any other fast food restaurant." He shrugs. 

Eileen gladly fixes the batter with fifty dollars on the line. Harry sits at the table with Louis while he waits for her to finish, scrolling through Safari for a good recipe. He quirks an eyebrow when a message from his sister pops up. She doesn't text him often, only when it's inconvenient. 

His curiosity melts into amusement when he reads over the article Gemma sent him, a witty remark attached to the link. Apparently, a sixty-seven year old woman in China gave birth, and she sent it to him, telling him to get his tubes tied immediately. He leans towards Louis after reading over it, shaking his head. "Read this."

Louis skims past the article and frowns. "Oh."

"Isn't that frightening?" 

"Yeah, who would tap that?"

Harry rolls his eyes and clicks his phone off, standing from the table to start breakfast. "What if that happened to us?" He broaches as he pulls the fridge open. "I think we should take precautionary measures." 

"We can just start using condoms again." Louis mumbles around a strawberry. Harry places a carton of milk on the kitchen island, responding sarcastically. "You must misunderstand me when I say we, that means you need to take some precautionary measures."

Louis groans, not liking the sound of that. "Why can't we just use condoms?"

"Those always break, and I don't want to end up like that." Harry replies, motioning to his phone. "And you have a messy track record of impregnating me."

Louis quirks an eyebrow. "What happened to all that talk of having another baby, like, a month ago?"

"That was before there was a possibility of that." Harry pointedly says, referring to the article. "And you know what? I'm perfectly fine with the amount we have⎯ more than fine. In fact, I should be thanking Gemma for bringing this up with me. I think it's time you get a vasectomy."

Louis dramatically collapses in his chair, eliciting an exasperated sigh from Harry. "Why can't you just get your tubes tied?"

"Louis, that's a major operation. A vasectomy is just a little snipping." Harry says nonchalantly. 

"There's no such thing as a little snipping. That's like saying a little chopping, or a little stab." 

Harry sighs, softly resolving.  "Okay, would you at least think about getting it, please?"

"Fine." Louis turns around for a nanosecond before replying. "I thought about it, no. I'm not doing it."

"Fine, then we're not doing it." Harry retorts before returning to the kitchen. Louis shrugs from at the table, feigning insouciance. "Whatever, it's not like I need sex." 

Harry props a hand on his hip. "Oh, really?" He smirks, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Yeah, really." Louis answers.

"I bet you wouldn't even last a week." He accuses, raising his eyebrows in emphasis. 

"Oh, I could definitely last a week." Harry quirks an eyebrow and he continues. "Y'know what, I could even go months."

"Really?"

"Really." 

Harry watches him silently, a challenging game of eye contact before he breaks it to pull a few eggs out. "Fine. We'll see how long you can pull through without having sex and if you fail, you have to get the vasectomy." He declares. 

"Easy." Louis agrees, but they both know he won't make it. 

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The laundry has been collecting dust for the past two weeks because Louis likes to act like it isn't there, and Harry's been busy with a new project his boss assigned. After finishing breakfast and trying to get somewhere with the twins' potty training, Harry passes by the laundry room, only to see the massive pile of clothes they've collected. 

He sighs as he approaches the pile, shirts thrown hazardously, hanging out of the basket. No one even bothered to at least separate the whites or actually put the clothes inside of the basket. He lifts a frilly blouse, recognizes that it was his, and that it's now shrunk. One of the girls must've worn it again, and he already has an idea on who it was.

He shakes his head, and just as he's about to start thoroughly sorting the pile, he hears a muffled scream from behind him. The dryer door is closed, and from inside, he can hear someone's terrified cries. He fumbles with the door and pulls it open, shocked to see Adeline curled up inside, her face streaked with tears and her breath coming in panicked gasps. 

Harry's mouth falls open and he scoops her into her arms, holding her tightly as he checks her over for any signs of injury. 

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" He asks, brushing her tousled hair out of her face. 

Adeline nods, her bottom lip wobbling as she tries to calm down. "Okay, just breathe for me, honey. Follow me." 

Adeline starts to breathe normally and after he takes her out of the room and to get a glass of water, he asks what happened. She tucks her bottom lip beneath her teeth and Harry looks at her sternly. "Addie, did you put yourself in there?" 

Adeline shakes her head, denying, and he quirks an eyebrow. "One of your siblings?" 

Adeline nods hesitantly, making Harry sigh. "Which one?" 

"Dakota..."

Harry takes a deep breath, trying to push down his emotions and focus on Adeline. "Take a few sips of your water." 

Adeline nods obediently, and once she's calmed down, Harry sits beside her. "Now, can you tell me what happened?" 

Adeline sniffles, tears welling up in her eyes once more. "Dakota said to go in there and then she'd be back." 

Harry wraps his arms pulling her close as he presses a kiss to the top of her head. "Alright, you're safe now. Just don't go into the laundry room without me or Daddy, okay?" Adeline nods in understanding and he helps her out of her chair, telling her to change her clothes. 

Apparently, Dakota heard from a friend that the dryer wouldn't turn on with someone in it because there's supposedly a function that stops that, and Dakota wanted to prove him wrong. Harry tells her about the dangers of her actions and has a conversation with all the younger children about not going into the laundry room without an adult with them. 

He takes them to the library after to diffuse the tension and providentially finds a book on celibacy. After checking out a total of $500 worth of books, he starts reading about the advantages of chastity. He can't take his eyes away from it, even when fixing dinner. 

When Harry's in the bed, head buried in the book, Louis works on his tie after returning from the office. "You know, smut still counts." He points out. 

Harry rolls his eyes, tearing his gaze away from the page. "It's not smut."

"Really?" Louis stalks towards him and pulls the book away, skimming over the cover. "Typhoon sex." He reads aloud. "What, are they having sex in the shower?"

Harry shakes his head and sits the book down on the dresser. "No, but maybe we're gonna do it in the shower." 

Louis laughs. "You've given up already?"

"We're gonna do it everywhere," Harry says seriously, and Louis almost thinks he's hallucinating. Harry smiles widely and goes on. "We're going to have the most incredible sex we've had in our entire lives..." 

"I'll go get the lube." Louis announces.

"...In six months."

Louis' eyes widen. "Six months?! I hope you're saying we're having sex for six months."

Harry shakes his head, grinning sinisterly. "No, Lou. We're not going to have sex in six months. You see, we're going to learn how to have sex on a mental level, to be satisfied in different ways. And after those six months, when we finally have physical sex," He grabs the book again, beaming. "It's like a typhoon." 

"Harry, this is cheating." 

Harry scoffs. "It is not cheating. You're the one that chose to not get a vasectomy, I just found something that'll be fun in the meantime." He explains, shrugging after. 

"Harry, that is not fun. That's manipulating⎯"

"Manipulating?"

"Yes, manipulating me into getting my dignity chopped away, and I will not let it happen." Louis declares earnestly, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest. Harry narrows his eyes at his husband and tosses the book aside. "This book says, and don't you interrupt me, that getting intimate on a psychological level will heighten our physical passion. Louis, we could have the best sex ever once we're done!"

"I don't need to be celibate to have the "best sex ever," Harry."

Harry whines childishly. "Won't you just give it a try?"

"Being punished for not getting a vasectomy is quite enough." Louis denies, and Harry huffs, falling back onto the bed. "Fine, it's not like you would've lasted long, anyway." He mutters.

"What'd you say?"

"Nothing."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The next morning, Louis sits at the dining table, twirling his spoon around his tea. Harry marches into the room and leans over Louis' chair, slapping his hand on the table. Louis slowly turns his head. "Good morning." They say at the same time and he laughs, dropping his spoon. "How'd you sleep?"

"Not so good." Harry replies. "You know, I tossed and turned all night."

"You did?" Louis asks, mocking surprise. 

Harry nods and responds in the same tone. "I sure did. And I woke up with my slip around my ankles." 

"That's strange, because I woke up with my drawls off."

Harry straightens himself up and inhales loudly. "Louis, did I not tell you that we were not having any kind of physical contact together?"

"We did not -- I didn't do anything. I just peeked." Louis clarifies. 

Harry rolls his eyes incredulously. "I swear, you're as bad as Avery." He mutters, turning around to enter the kitchen. Louis grins and takes a sip out of his tea. "Where is Avery?" 

"Oh, he's hiding." Junior answers, heading to the dining table. 

Harry grimaces slightly. It's been three months now and Avery's still infatuated with hide and seek. Harry can't take the boy anywhere without losing him because he's hiding behind processed food shelves. And it was cute at first, but now it's just stressful, and Avery's so stubborn that he won't rest until he is found. "Doesn't he get tired of playing that?"

Louis hums around the rim of his mug. "He's just holding onto being a baby. Remember, Junior was fifteen when we got rid of Mr. Bunny."

Junior perks up. "Got rid of him? You told me he ran away!"

Harry furrows his eyebrows, pretending to suddenly remember. "You know what, he sure did run away."

"So where's your brother hiding?" Louis asks. 

Junior points to the living room and they gaze over. Avery's already peeking out from the jacket he was hiding behind, but he quickly covers himself when he sees them. Harry sighs. "I'll get him."

Avery's legs are blatantly visible, but Harry plays clueless just to appease his son. When he finally reveals Avery, Avery huffs, stomping his foot. "You found me again! I hate it."

Harry holds in a laugh, gently ushering Avery by the shoulders. "I'm sorry. But I had to find you so we could eat breakfast. What do you say to breakfast pizza?"

Avery agrees and Harry sits him at the table, and returns to the kitchen. He revisits he and Louis' conversation, placing a wrapped sausage on the granite island top. "Regardless, Louis, I want you sleeping on the couch."

Avery taunts his father, smiling in amusement.  Louis rolls his eyes and glances over his shoulder. "You can't be serious."

"I am so serious. I'm not taking any chances with you. I'm locking the door!"

Louis stands from the table, trailing after his husband. "There has to be a better solution than for me to get cut."

Harry scoffs out a laugh. "Either you get cut, or you get cut from all of this."

"Why?" Louis dumbly asks, and Harry turns to face him with a serious expression. "Because I had my children already."

Louis sighs defeatedly. "There's no other way?"

Harry denies, and Louis runs a hand over his face. "All right, H. This goes against every instinct of my body, but if you want to emasculate me and turn me into variety meat, I'll do it."

Harry exclaims happily, throwing himself into his husband's arms. "Thank you!"

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry is unbelievably happy about Louis' vasectomy, he expresses that much the moment Louis enters the kitchen the next morning. Harry squeals and wraps his arms around Louis' waist, squeezing him tightly. "Today's your big appointment!"

"It's not gonna be so big anymore." Louis mumbles, and Harry rolls his eyes. "It's going to go well. Will you stop being so dramatic?" He pulls out of Louis' hold and returns to the carrots he was dicing, and chops the vegetable. "What time is your appointment, anyway?"  

Louis jumps at the sound. "At noon." He replies, looking paranoid as Harry starts briskly chopping the carrot. 

"What kind of appointment is it, Dad?" Junior questions with furrowed eyebrows, slicing a rod of cheese. 

Louis grimaces. "A doctor's appointment." 

"You should get there early. It'll be over before you know it." Harry suggests. 

Louis ignores him and moves to the table, where it's becoming more and more nauseating to see so many sharp objects. Just before he bails out, Eileen runs into the kitchen with an ear-piercing scream. Harry drops the knife he was using and darts to his daughter. He doesn't even have to ask what happened, because it's all over Eileen's face ⎯ literally. Her cheeks are all puffed up and her left eye is so swollen that it's almost closed. "I just put on your eyeliner, and within minutes, I started itching, then this." She cries. 

Harry clenches his jaw in frustration. "There's charcoal in that eyeliner, Eileen. You're allergic!" Eileen cups her cheeks tentatively and he flattens his palms in the air. "See, that's what you get. Good for you. When I tell you to stay out my makeup bag, I mean it."

"Good for me?!" Eileen repeats in disbelief. 

"Good for you."

Eileen throws her hands up and prepares to storm out of the kitchen, only to run into her father. Louis places his hands on his hips and squints his eyes, looking at her closely. She looks just like a frog, and there's only one person in this house that has that face. "You look just like your mother."

Harry's mouth falls open, violated in the worst way possible. Eileen glares at Louis and aggressively pushes past him. 

Louis chuckles, returning to his food. However, the brief entertainment wasn't enough. Phoebe and Alice were cutting up a sheet of construction paper for an apparent project, snipping away, and it was too much of a reminder. In fact, it felt like a warning. "I can't do it!" He declares, abruptly standing from the table. He doesn't offer much of an explanation and treads out of the room. 

Harry runs after him. "Woah, Louis! You have to do this."

"What if something goes wrong?"

"Oh, come on, what could go wrong?"

Louis scoffs. "What could go wrong? How about a power outage right in the middle of the surgery?"

Harry responds in exasperation. "That can't happen, Louis. Hospitals have backup generators."

"Yeah? Well, I don't have a backup generator. All I have is this one, and I'd like to keep it generating." Louis stresses and Harry puts his hands up, speaking slowly and softly. "Louis, nothing is going to go wrong. It's a routine procedure. Besides, when you're done with this, we have nothing to worry about."

Louis sighs, reconsidering it. Harry doesn't even contain his excitement when Louis agrees again. He ushers the older man to the door and reminds him that if he ever gets nervous, just remember the offer he put up. Uninhibited sex all the time, Louis couldn't ignore that offer. But then when he got to the hospital, it felt like an episode of the Twilight Zone. 

Dr. Shaky? Not to mention the fact that the elderly man took twelve pumps of sugar in his coffee (from what Louis overheard) and literally trembles when he raises his hand. He couldn't do it anymore, and he was keen with no sex. If he had gone through the procedure, he's sure he wouldn't even have a dick anymore. The farthest he gets is getting shaved before he has to get out of the operation chair, leaving the hospital in a haste. 

When he returns home, he decides to pull through the "vasectomy act" and sits on the couch, putting an ice pack on his crotch. Harry comes down the stairs, carrying a dirty pamper, but he drops it when he sees Louis on the couch. "Oh my god, Louis. I didn't know you were home!" He exclaims, worry written all over his face. 

Louis groans, fighting back a smile when Harry crotches down in front of him, so concerned. "It was so painful."

Harry strokes his hand and knee, speaking softly. "I'm so proud of you, love. You're so brave. And just remember, when you're all better, you get all of this." Louis smiles as he remembers and Harry stands from the floor, massaging his shoulders. "How long is your recovery time?"

"The doctor said I'm gonna have to abstain for at least six to seven hours."

"Hours?" Harry asks in astonishment. "Don't you mean days?"

Louis denies. "No, that's back in the day. They have laptops and lasers now." 

"Really?" Harry has to take a seat for the new information, suddenly intrigued. "They zapped you with a laser?"

"Yeah, from the inside. So there's no scarring, just a bald spot."

Harry nods and glances at Louis' crotch. "What's the ice for?"

"Oh, that's for the swelling--" Louis waves off. "The unwanted swelling."

Harry laughs and bites his lip. "So, you think by tonight..."

"Oh, yeah. Definitely." 

That night, Harry knees his way towards Louis in his blush pink slip, the sleeve falling down his shoulder as he kisses his husband. Louis chuckles at the younger man's excitement, but he begins to feel guilty. He pulls Harry away, looking at him seriously. "I didn't do it. I couldn't go through--" He barely finishes his sentence before Harry's scrambling off of the bed, pulling his gown back up. "No, listen. The whole thought of it made it feel like I'd be firing blanks for the rest of my life." Louis explains. "I'm sorry."

"You should be sorry! We talked about this. We agreed it was the best option for us." Harry says, emphasizing with his hands. 

"Baby, don't be angry. Try to understand, for me, it's different. You go to the doctor all the time, it's like having an entire pit crew down there." Harry glares at him for the comment. "I got only one exam, at fifteen. I only have to go back unless there's blood, or-"

"Oh, Louis, you're exaggerating so hard right now! You're being so selfish." 

"I'm being selfish?"

"Yes! You know what, I'll go and make my appointment to get my tubes tied tomorrow. So you have nothing to worry about." Harry declares, clasping his hands together. Louis grabs his hand gently. "You don't have to do that."

"No?" 

"I'll make the appointment for you, so it's easier. No, we'll go together. Does that sound better?"

Harry scoffs incredulously, shoving Louis away. "I cannot believe you right now. And you know what? It is a little snipping, or a little chopping, or whatever the hell you want to call it! Nothing you would've done in that hospital room could compare to how serious that operation is." Louis opens his mouth to retaliate, but Harry interrupts him. "Not only that, but I had twelve children, and I had to watch my body get all demolished."

"I suffered, too."

Harry guffaws. "How the hell did you suffer?"

"Because I had to watch your body get demolished, and I had to wait for it to get rebuilt. And it did, it's perfect. Our bodies are perfect, just the way it is, without all these supererogatory operations. I can't take my hands off of what our kids did to your body. Let me show you some pictures--"

"No!" Harry exclaims. He slaps Louis' hands away from the jeans Louis carelessly discarded onto the floor and narrows his eyes. "I'll get the damn operation, you fool."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The couple go to the medical center the following week while the kids are at school. It gives Harry time to assert his irritation, responding with monosyllabic answers and dismissive grunts. He doesn't even look at Louis, not even when they arrive at the clinic. Louis starts to feel repentant, and not solely because Harry is upset, but because he recognizes that he was being unfair. He tries to voice his regret, but Harry doesn't even acknowledge his presence. 

They're standing at the front desk and the receptionist is looking at him like he's done something, noticeably entertained by Harry's stoic behavior. Louis shoots a glare at the man before facing his husband. He clears his throat. "You did your hair today. It looks good."

Harry just grunts in response, his eyes fixed on the sign-in sheet in front of him.

Louis sighs inwardly. "You know, I heard it might rain later."

Harry finally looks up from the sign-in sheet, shooting Louis a withering glare. "Great." He mutters sarcastically. 

Louis flashes a tentative smile, going for his last resort. "At least we'll have an excuse to cuddle up at home."

Harry's expression softens slightly at the mention of something so tender, and he lets out a reluctant chuckle. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He concedes, less hostilely. He passes the paper to Louis, this time waiting for him to finish. 

Once Louis finishes filling out the sheet, they sit down in the waiting room, and Louis confronts the obvious problem. "Okay, love, I'm sorry. I was being a git about this, but you have to understand my perspective. That was a lot to ask for, especially something that I wasn't ready for. We should give it some time and talk, not dance around the problem with other excuses." 

Harry sighs from his seat, crossing his legs. "I know. But you've got a lot of perspectives to understand, then. I don't want to be pregnant again, at all. Not a chance. If you don't want to get a vasectomy, then that's fine. I already said I'm gonna do this, and if I ever change my mind, I have time. This is only a routine check. But don't think that my opinion doesn't still stand. I don't want to be like that lady."

"Is this all because of an old lady?" Louis questions, quickly shutting up after the haughty glare Harry gives him. "Okay, I'm sorry. We'll keep thinking about it."

"Thank you for at least giving it consideration." Harry says sincerely, smiling before leaning over for a kiss, that gets cut short when the nurse calls for him. 

Louis watches his husband go, left alone to think this all over. He really, really didn't want to get a vasectomy, but the least he could do after all the sacrifices Harry made, the ones he just lectured Claire on a few weeks ago, is to sacrifice his body in return. He releases a breath as he comes to the resolution. 

Waiting for Harry takes a little over an hour, but once he hears the door shut and he looks towards the sound, where Harry reenters the room, he quickly rises to his feet. He's so immersed in explaining himself that he doesn't notice the salty attitude Harry has again, forcefully grabbing his jacket and stuffing a few papers into his bag. 

"Baby, I've been thinking about this. I want you to cancel the whole thing, I don't want you going to the hospital and going through all that trauma again. It would be much easier for me to go ahead and get the vasectomy."

Harry looks up from his bag and shrugs. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I'm pregnant." Harry tells him, brushing past to leave the hospital. 

Chapter Text

Louis stands motionlessly after Harry dumped the news on him, treading out the clinic as if he didn't just delivered a bomb. Harry's still striding ahead, while he remains rooted to the ground. Obviously, he's happy --- but he's also shocked, confused; flabbergasted, even. 

He should have expected it, though. He doesn't know how many times they've either forgotten or intentionally haven't used a condom. And he can't forget the fact that he's been suspecting it for months. The answer was in hindsight, but he supposes he didn't want to acknowledge it because it meant confronting reality; a thirteenth child. 

When does it end?

When he remembers that he's standing in the middle of the clinic like an idiot, he finally moves. Harry's standing in front of the car, his hair blowing from the strong gust of wind that just blew by. He glares at Louis over his sunglasses before pushing them further up his nose, as if to block Louis from his vision. 

Louis knows Harry will ease up eventually, so he doesn't dwell on Harry's passive aggression. He sighs and unlocks the car, and Harry gets inside just as quickly. He settles into the driver's seat and spares a glance at Harry, who blatantly ignores him by gazing out of the window.

Louis musters the strength to question. "Are you mad?" 

Harry purses his lips and unfolds his arms from his chest. He exhales softly. "No. I'm just... disappointed in a sense. I mean, we were going three strong years without another kid. I'm just wondering, I guess, when enough is enough."

"It probably should have been enough after Junior." Louis mumbles, chuckling at the unimpressed look Harry gives him. "But I understand. Look, I'll get the vasectomy. I'll even schedule it once we get home."

Harry leans against the window and shrugs. "I'm already pregnant. What's the use?" 

"To prevent it from happening at all?" Louis proposes. "Don't be so negative, baby. This will be the last one, okay?"

"And what if it's not one?" Harry pointedly asks. 

"Then it'll be our last few."

Harry looks up at the ceiling and groans. Louis switches gears. "It's not something we haven't done before. We'll be alright."

Harry gazes at him with a pinched, but soft expression. "I hope so. Now that I know what's going on, I feel like it's all catching up to me." He sighs. 

They go to the whole foods market for dinner after leaving the clinic. He wasn't in any mood to make dinner, so the quickest thing to cook would be burritos. He also wasn't particularly mad, just resigned in disbelief. 

Eileen is waiting for them when they arrive, noticeably peeking over the cushions of the couch. Claire sits beside her with her arms folded in front of her chest, and shakes her head when Eileen stands up. Eileen goes for the easiest option, stopping in front of her mom at the counter. "Hey, mom. I was wondering if I could go to the movies with Ameia."

Harry barely looks away from the grocery bag he's placing on the counter. "No." 

Eileen's shoulders fall. "Why? Chyenne will be there. Don't forget how strict her parents are." She points out, trying to get her way through it. 

Harry pulls out a ball of lettuce, finally looking up at her. "Let's also not forget how you lied about going to Ameia's last time." 

Eileen scoffs. "You guys didn't even prove if I went or not." 

"Either way, you had your Dad doing a field day. The answer is no." 

Eileen groans, due for another complaint, but Harry truly didn't have the capacity to deal with it. His clothes were sticking to his skin and he's pretty sure he has the bubble guts. "Get your other sisters and set the ingredients out. It's gonna be a build-a-burrito night." He says. 

Eileen tilts her head. "What's wrong?" They rarely have lazy nights like that unless he was in a bad mood or something, and now that she looks at him, he really doesn't look all that great. "You guys had doctor appointments today. Did something go wrong?"

Harry shakes his head, rounding the counter. "Everything's fine. I just need to lay down⎯ and will you watch Audrey with the sour cream? I don't want a repeat from last time." 

Eileen furrows her brows, recognizing that he was just going to brush it off. "Okay.... would you like me to make you a burrito?"

Harry smiles softly. "If you don't mind. Thank you, love." 

The next morning feels like a better day. Like he mentioned, all his symptoms seem to catch up to him now that he's aware of his pregnancy. Last night, he was on the toilet for at least two hours⎯ he hasn't been constipated since he was pregnant with Claire and Alice. Then, earlier that morning, he threw up what felt like weeks worth of food. Now his hair feels greasy and the chub in his thighs don't feel so natural anymore. 

He still manages to get out of bed and make breakfast that morning, though he's a little off schedule. Eileen comes down in time for the first batch of french toast, already dressed and ready to leave. Slowly, the table fills up with the eldest pair, excluding Junior. 

Eileen picks through her eggs with her fork, glancing at her dad from across the table. "I know you guys don't trust me and all, but Evan's coming back from his purification exile today and he wants me to be the first person he sees again."

"First a movie and now Evan's back, you have a lot of stories." Louis mentions, taking a bite out of his toast. 

"No, Evan felt so guilty about accidentally getting drunk and naked at a party that he went out to the desert for 40 days and 40 nights to fast and cleanse himself." Eileen explains. "His absence has definitely made my heart grow fonder."

Louis snorts to himself. "It should be abstinence that makes your heart grow fonder."

Harry places a pitcher of orange juice on the table and smiles gently, shooting Louis a hidden glare. "That is so sweet, Eileen." 

Dakota, half-listening to their conversation and half-fixated on keeping the jelly perfectly smooth on her bread, teases her sister. "I bet they're gonna wanna go kissing."

"Not if he didn't brush his teeth for 40 days." Louis says. 

Eileen narrows her eyes at her father. "Since when did it become pick on Eileen day?"

"Because everyday can't be pick on Junior day." Louis responds before hitting his fist on the table like he told the funniest joke known to man. 

Harry rolls his eyes. "Alright, enough," He scolds. "I'm gonna go grab my jacket and then I'll take you guys to school. Put your stuff in the car, please."

The girls get up from the table and follow instructions. Having Louis left at the table reminds Harry of their later plans and he clasps his hands together. "Don't forget, you're making dinner tonight."

"I know. I was thinking of making beef stew." 

"Really?" Harry responds. "I thought you might, cause that's the only thing you know how to make."

Louis glares at the back of his husband's head as he walks away and starts trailing behind him, pointing an accusatory finger. "That is not true. Not only can I make beef stew, but I can make stewed beef, too."

Harry fights back a smile. "You're going to make us even more late, goodbye." 

Louis walks back to the dining room and notices Eileen's bookbag still strapped around the chair. "Oh, Eileen! You forgot your-" A packet falls out of her bag after lifting it up and he grabs it. 

Harry is pulling on his boots when Louis bursts into the bedroom. "Look, Harry, condoms."

 He holds the packet up and Harry lifts his hand to silence him. "Not now, I'm in a rush."

"No, these fell out of Eileen's backpack." Louis says, showing the condoms. 

Harry spares a glance at the packet before shuffling to the other side of the room. "It's from health class. They hand them out at school, I'm sure that's where she got them from."

"Not these, Harry," Louis argues. "These are thick ones. You need a prescription to get these."

Harry groans under his breath, trying to make it to the car in time so the girls don't get their third tardy of the week. "Louis, would you just relax? It's apart of sex education."

"How am I supposed to relax when condoms just came out of my daughter's backpack on the day that her horny boyfriend is supposed to be coming back?" Louis exaggerates, throwing his hands up like he had no control over his body. 

Harry refrains himself from slapping some sense into his husband. He slows his words down like it'll help the man comprehend faster, walking closer. "Don't start that, okay? We have agreed to put trust in our daughter to make the right decisions—" Louis starts to shake his head in disagreement, but he continues regardless. "—and distrusting our children only creates rocky relationships."

"Blah, blah, blah."

"Louis Tomlinson!"

Louis thins his lips, trying not to laugh at the disbelieving expression on Harry's face. Harry takes one deep breath, slowing his words again. "Eileen is a very trustworthy girl, and what you're doing right now is an invasion of her privacy."

"I'm trying to make sure that Evan doesn't invade her privacy."

Harry sighs. "Louis, do you remember what happened when I read her diary? What a disaster that was?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, we swore that we would never do that." Harry concludes. 

Louis shakes his head in disagreement, pointing an accusatory finger at the man. "Not we. You swore. I was out in the hallway eavesdropping." 

Harry pinches the bridge of his nose while Louis continues on his rant. "She's at the age where things happen. Those things happened to you and I, and they could happen to her. And if those things happen to Eileen and Evan, there's gonna be something that happens to Evan that he's gonna wish didn't happen."

Harry stares blankly at the older man as he continues his antics until he finishes his statement off with a "cutting" gesture. 

Harry rolls his eyes. "That's gonna be your answer to everything? Castration?" 

"That's right." Louis says. 

Harry decides to end the conversation there. "None of them are having sex. Okay?" 

"Yet." Louis is quick to correct.

Harry groans in frustration, stroking his temples. "Okay, I'm not about to sit here and argue with you. The kids are already late enough."

Louis conceives an idea then, plastering on a close-lipped smile. "I'll take the girls then."

Harry huffs out a laugh of disbelief. "After I just spent the last ten minutes rushing to get ready—which you just spent purposefully stalling me?!"

Louis places his hands on the younger man's shoulder. "Love, you're pregnant. You should be relaxing, not taking our children to school."

Adeline's tiny voice is heard from the doorway, her lips parted in shock. "Mommy's pregnant?"

Louis clasps his hands together, smiling giddily. "You deal with that one."

Harry sputters, wide-eyed. "What?! Louis, you get your happy behind back in here!" 

The pregnant man's voice fades away while Louis walks further down the hallway. Leaving him might've been a dick move, but Louis had things to sort out with his daughter before that idiot boyfriend of her's returns.

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis truly expects to be beaten and berated the moment he walks through the front door. Instead, he's met with silence—which is honestly a lot worse. 

He walks into the house with slow, hesitant steps, still waiting for his wrath—only to find Harry standing on a stool in the middle of the living room, hanging up the ugliest curtains Louis has ever seen in his life. 

"Baby, what're you doing up there?" Louis asks.

Allison comes running to his feet, hugging the back of his shins. "Hi, daddy." 

Louis ruffles his hands through the toddler's hair, his attention still drawn to Harry and those god awful curtains. "Baby." Louis repeats. 

"Baby!" Allison parrots. 

Harry finally looks over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes slightly. Louis swallows nervously, watching him step down until he's facing Louis with a terrible look in his eyes and a drill in his hand. 

"Did you get them a late pass like I told you?" Harry asks, tossing the drill around in his hands. 

Louis smiles stiffly. "I did not. But I did get you a bagel." He holds the bag up as a peace offering, and Harry accepts it, with a glare of course. 

"What you did this morning really upset me." Harry murmurs, pulling down the tissue paper wrapped around his bagel to examine it. 

Louis softens his voice, gently touching Harry's elbow. "I know, baby. But I'll make it up to you. How about I rub your butt? That'll make you feel better?"

Harry slaps his hands away, and Louis recoils, holding them up defensively. "Alright, alright, no butt rub. Understood."

Harry rolls his eyes but can't keep from grinning. "You're lucky I even let you back in this house." He mutters, unwrapping his bagel and taking a bite.

Louis holds his hands together in mock appreciation, grinning. "I know, and I am extremely grateful for your mercy, oh wise one."

Harry's mouth twitches, fighting back a smile. "If you're so grateful, you'll help me put up these curtain." He says, gesturing toward the fabric hanging crookedly from the rod.

Louis grimaces, tilting his head to the side. "Uh... are you sure about these curtains, love?"

Harry shakes his head in agreement. "If you don't like them, we can return them." 

"I don't like them." Louis echoes. 

"You'll get used to them." Harry responds, folding his arms over his chest as he observes the curtains.

Allison insistently tugs on the pant leg of Louis' jeans, taking his attention away from the muddle covering their windows. He didn't realize until then that Allison had been trying to get his attention. He smiles apologetically, kneeling down to the girl's level. 

"I'm sorry, baby. What's up?"

"My poop." Allison says briefly. 

Louis quirks an eyebrow, and then the smell suddenly hits him. He tries to keep a straight face as to not embarrass her, although he can smell literal shit at the moment. "Do you need help wiping?"

Allison shakes her head in affirmation and Louis rises to his feet, taking her hand in his. "Alright, let's go."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Junior is on his PC when Avery comes bursting into his room with the sniffles. Junior is about to reprimand whoever entered without knocking until he recognizes his little brother, face blotchy with fresh tears welling in his eyes. 

Junior lifts his headphones off his ears, furrowing his brows in concern. "What's wrong? Did you hurt yourself?"

Avery shakes his head fervently, his lips quivering as he tries to hold back more tears.

Junior begins to worry at his brother's silence and reaches out to lift the boy onto his lap, wiping his tears away. "What's wrong then?"

Avery tries to answer, but the thought seems to trigger him more, because he then starts to hiccup, his chest stuttering as he tries to keep up with his breathing. 

Junior rubs his back softly in an attempt to calm the boy down, gently bouncing the leg that Avery sat on. "Do you want me to get mom?"

Avery immediately shakes his head vigorously, and it only confuses Junior more. If there had to be a favorite parent⎯it would always be Harry, no matter how strict the older man got. To think that Avery didn't want to cry to Harry was like a puppy turning away from its favorite toy—unthinkable and out of character. 

Now, Junior was no parent. He had no idea what to do with a sobbing five year old in his arms. 

Why couldn't Avery go crying to Eileen? He selfishly thought. 

Avery starts to cry louder, and Junior panics, patting his back awkwardly. "Okay, you have to tell me what's wrong, Ave. I can't read minds."

Avery sniffles, wiping his nose with his sleeve, but he's still a hiccuping mess. "Mommy's having a baby." 

Junior raises an eyebrow at the revelation, caught completely off-guard. "Wait... what?" He leans back, trying to process the news. "Mom's... pregnant? And who told you that?"

Avery sniffles, fiddling with his fingers as he looks down at his lap. "Addie told me. She heard mama this morning. I-If he has a baby then I won't be the baby anymore." 

Well, he hasn't been the baby for the past three years—but Junior doesn't say that. 

Junior bites back a smile, trying to stay serious for Avery's sake. "Oh, come on, Ave. You'll always be Mom's baby, no matter how many brothers or sisters come along. Trust me, I'm like... the expert on this stuff." He gestures grandly, hoping it'll make Avery laugh.

Avery looks up at him, his eyes still glassy but a tiny smile tugging at his lips. "But... what if they don't need me anymore?"

Junior scoffs, pulling Avery close. "Need you? Are you kidding? Mom's gonna need you even more now—to help show this new kid who's boss! And who's gonna teach them all the best hiding spots, huh?"

Avery sniffles, looking a little more hopeful. "Yeah... I know all the best hiding spots."

"Exactly." Junior says, nodding sagely. "And you'll be the one teaching them."

His words seem to convince Avery enough; the tears are gone, and his sniffles have been replaced by soft giggles. Just as Junior is about to send him off, his bedroom door opens again. Harry peeks his head through the crack, as if he planned to say something quick, but he quickly notices Avery's slightly disgruntled expression. In one swift motion, he sweeps Avery off Junior's lap before Junior can even process it.

"What's the matter, baby?" He asks worriedly, brushing Avery's sandy hair out of his face. 

Avery bites his bottom lip, caught between telling the truth and keeping quiet. He glances back at Junior, who gives a small, subtle shake of his head. He struggles long enough that Junior decides to speak for him, an innocent lie that Harry believes. 

"Alright." Harry says skeptically, narrowing his eyes at Junior. "Well, your father and I are going to the farmer's market, so you're in charge." 

"Great." Junior murmurs under his breath, grabbing his controller off of his desk. 

Harry turns on his heels, arching an eyebrow. "What was that?"

Junior quickly puts on a grin that feels a bit too forced. "Oh, just—uh, nothing! Just thinking about how I'll be responsible while you're gone."

"Uh-huh." Harry crosses his arms. "Just remember, being in charge means no video games until after you've checked on Allison and Faith, right?"

Junior's grin falters for a moment, and he nods. "Right. No video games... until I check on them."

"Good." Harry gives a satisfied nod before stepping out of the room. "I'll be back soon!"

As soon as the front door clicks shut behind Harry and Louis, a hush falls over the house, quickly broken by the excited chatter of the kids.

It's rare that both parents are gone, and with Junior being the one in charge, everyone knew they were free to do whatever they pleased. Not to mention the fact that Louis didn't go through his everlasting rule book.

Collective footsteps came tumbling down the stairs, raiding the kitchen and living room. Arguments broke out over the TV, while a few of them were smart enough to use Harry and Louis' bedroom. 

Junior prances into the living room triumphantly, easily taking the remote out of Alice's hand, and flopping down on the couch. 

Alice narrows her eyes at her brother, propping her hands on her hips. "I was about to use that!"

"You're not the one in charge, are you?" Junior retorts. When he doesn't receive an answer, he smirks, getting comfortable on the sofa. "Get me a soda, will you?"

Alice groans loudly, stomping out of the room.  

Junior shakes his head, chuckling to himself as he turns on the television and becomes absorbed in the program. He tunes out the commotion coming from the kitchen, but he's still sharp enough to notice Eileen attempting to sneak past him toward the front door.

"Where are you going?" Junior asks without looking. 

Eileen huffs, her hands planted firmly on her hips as she turns to face Junior, crossing her arms defiantly over her chest. "Why do you care?"

"Uh, maybe because I am in charge, and if you go missing that's my responsibility?" Junior answers in a sardonic tone.

Eileen rolls her eyes. "You are so agitating."

Junior shrugs his shoulder, propping his legs up on the coffee table. "I learned from the best."

Avery runs into the living room, followed by his sisters who are eager to spill some kind of news. 

"We have a huge announcement!" Adeline chimes in, her heart jumping with enthusiasm.

Junior has an idea of what it will be, but he decides to keep quiet and let the triplets share their thoughts. This proves to be a grave mistake, as they too excitedly announce that their mother is pregnant. Suddenly, the living room is filled with chaos.

Faith bursts into crocodile tears, dramatically flopping onto the floor. While Avery, bless his sweet heart, rushes to her side. "It's okay, Faith! That means more toys!"

Adeline's eyes widen in realization. “Oh no! What if we have to share our toys?!” Her panic only amplifies Faith's sobs.

Eileen crosses her arms and rolls her eyes at the unfolding drama. “You guys are overreacting. It’s just a baby. You’ll have to share your toys anyway.”

Adeline's face scrunches in worry. "But we're not ready to share!"

“Yeah, and what about my princess castle?” Faith cries, her tears flowing freely.

Junior decides he's had enough of the hollering. He lowers his voice, espousing a serious tone. "Relax, you guys. Babies can't play with toys for a long time. You’ve got some time before you have to worry about sharing." He reassures them.

Avery pouts his bottom lip, fisting Junior's pant leg. "Are you sure June?"

Junior nods his head confidently, and to convince him, he continues."Yes. You see, when Eileen was just a baby, she tried to take my toys. You know what I did?" 

Avery stares at him curiously. "What?"

"I hit her in the head with a block. That's why she's so stupid." 

Eileen throws the remote at Junior's temple. "Now you can be even stupider, bolder-head."

Just as Junior is about to respond, the front door swings open, and Harry and Louis walk in, arms laden with grocery bags. 

“Hey, everyone! We’re back!” Harry calls out, flashing a wide smile. But that smile quickly falters when Allison runs into his legs, screeching. "Baby!"

Harry raises an eyebrow in confusion, lifting Allison off the ground. "What's got you all worked up?" He asks, cradling her against his hip.

Allison points to the living room, her little finger shaking with excitement. “Avery said you’re having a baby!”

The room goes silent again, every child’s attention snapping to their parents. Louis looks at Harry, amusement in his eyes, while Harry’s mouth drops open in disbelief. “Oh no, we were trying to keep that a secret for a bit longer."

“Mommy, it’s true?” Faith stands up from the floor, her previous sobs forgotten as she approaches Harry with curiosity.

“Uh, well…” Harry glances at Louis, who shrugs, clearly trying to stifle a grin. “Yes."

Avery hesitantly approaches his mom, a frown forming on his little face. "Mommy, does that mean I won't be your baby boy anymore?"

Harry's expression softens, touched by his son's innocence. He crouches down to Avery's level, using his free hand to brush the child's bangs back. "Oh, Ave, you'll always be my baby. No matter how big you get or how much you think you're not my baby anymore." 

"I'll never think that." Avery says, like it was the craziest thing in the world. 

"That's what your brother said." Harry remarks before pulling Avery into his arms. 

Avery smiles, nestled against Harry’s shoulder, feeling the warmth and love of his mother’s embrace. The chaos of the living room fades into the background as he revels in the moment. 

“Mommy?” Avery murmurs, his voice muffled.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can we get a pig too?”

Harry laughs softly, shaking his head. “Let’s take one step at a time, okay?”

Chapter Text

Junior jolts awake to the jarring noise of banging metal. Tossing the covers off, he sits up, ready to confront the culprit, only to find his mother standing over him. Harry has one hand planted firmly on his hip and the other clutching the lid of a pot.

Junior blinks in confusion, shaking his head. "What's going on?"

"You're helping me clean the garage," Harry announces, setting the pot lid down carefully on Junior's desk.

"Mom, it's Sunday morning," Junior protests, as though Harry needs reminding.

Harry cuts him off with a sharp wag of his finger. "When I was your age, I didn't have the luxury of lying around all day. We cleaned every Saturday. You're lucky I waited until today—or that the garage hasn't been touched in five years. But make no mistake, we're cleaning it today."

Junior groans, flopping his head back against the pillows in frustration. "Can't I get another hour?"

"Nope," Harry replies, popping the 'p' for emphasis.

Minutes later, the duo find themselves standing in the garage. Aside from the oversized truck—Louis' extravagant and admittedly unnecessary purchase—the space is crammed with piles of old junk Louis refuses to part with.

Junior steps inside, overwhelmed by the clutter, his eyes landing on a box near the center of the room. He strides over and peers inside. "What's this?"

"Just some stuff your father refuses to get rid of," Harry answers, trailing behind him.

Junior begins rummaging through the box, tossing items aside, much to Harry's annoyance. "Stop throwing things everywhere!" Harry scolds, though his attention shifts as his eyes catch the edge of a familiar hardcover spine. He crouches down and pulls out an old book, gasping softly. Lowering himself onto a discarded mattress, he smiles fondly. "Oh, look at this. It's the book I gave your dad for Valentine's Day... years ago."

Curious, Junior leans over Harry's shoulder. "What did you write in it?"

Harry flips to a specific page and points it out. "Here, read this."

Junior skims the inscription, then grins. "That's good, Mom. I'm stealing that one."

As Harry flips through the pages, a small photograph slips out and flutters to the ground. Junior picks it up and examines it, his eyes widening in surprise. "Whoa, who's the hottie in the picture?"

"Oh, it's probably me back when I was in high—" Harry starts, but then snatches the photo, his expression turning to one of shock. "Danielle?!"

"Who's Danielle?" Junior asks, intrigued.

"Your dad's first girlfriend," Harry replies, still staring at the photo in disbelief.

Harry fights to keep his composure in front of Junior. Fury burns in his chest, but the garage desperately needs to be cleaned, and he's not letting Junior off the hook just because of his anger. Despite his efforts, Harry's grip tightens on the photograph, crushing it in his hand—a detail that doesn't escape Junior's notice.

"Clear this room," Harry orders darkly as he rises from the mattress. "I'll grab the cleaning supplies later. And I want these floors bare—not a single box left in the way."

Junior nods, his brow furrowed in concern. "Yeah, Mom, but... are you okay? You look like you just stepped on a Lego or something."

"Just clean, boy," Harry snaps before leaving the garage, his footsteps echoing angrily through the living room.

On the couch, Evan sits with Eileen, flashing Harry a kind smile. "You look good, Mr. Tomlinson."

"Shut up," Harry grumbles, stomping up the stairs.

In the bedroom, Louis sleeps peacefully, his hair a tousled mess as he snores softly. Harry stands with his arms folded, his face pinched with frustration. The only reason Louis is sleeping so peacefully is because Harry gave himself up the night before. Just like he’s been giving himself up for over seventeen years—only to discover Louis had been holding onto a photograph of his first girlfriend all this time.

"Look at you," Harry mutters bitterly, leaning closer. "Smiling and grinning. What are you dreaming about, huh? Danielle?"

The corners of Louis' lips twitch into a soft smile, and Harry slaps the side of his face, jolting him awake. Louis startles, placing a hand over his chest. "What the hell?"

"Don't you dare play innocent with me, Louis Tomlinson. I'm talking about this!" Harry hisses, shoving the crumpled photograph in his face.

Louis blinks in confusion as he takes the picture. "Where did you find this?"

"In your precious little keepsakes!" Harry snaps. "Tucked away with all the junk you should've thrown out years ago!"

Louis exhales heavily. "Just relax. I probably overlooked it."

Harry makes a sharp, exasperated sound and gestures wildly at the photo. "How did you overlook these?!" He points at Danielle's barely-contained bikini top.

Louis sighs, sitting up and throwing his legs over the side of the bed. "Look, I'll throw it away right now," he says, grabbing his robe.

"Well, whoop-de-doo," Harry mocks, snatching the picture back. "Means nothing to you now, huh? Now that you've been caught."

Louis frowns, pulling on his robe. "Caught? What are you talking about?"

"You've been busted," Harry declares, his tone sharp.

Louis rolls his eyes as he heads for the door. "You're being ridiculous. It's just a picture of a pretty girl."

"Oh, so now she's pretty?" Harry exclaims, his voice rising. "What other compliments do you have for her, Louis? Is she 'leggy,' 'voluptuous,' 'sensual'?"

Louis shrugs casually. "I mean, yeah, she was⎯"

"Wrong answer, Louis," Harry cuts in, narrowing his eyes.

Louis throws his hands up. "You're being irrational. And while we're at it, why were you snooping through my stuff?"

Harry points a finger at him. "Oh, no. Don't try to flip this on me. I was doing what you've been putting off for six months—cleaning the garage!"

"I didn't do anything wrong," Louis argues, opening the door.

"Oh, you've done plenty wrong," Harry counters, his voice accusatory. "You've been cheating on me with this picture."

Louis pauses, squinting at him. "How do you cheat with a picture?"

"I don't know. You tell me. You're the pervert," Harry snaps.

"Harry, she's just an old friend," Louis says, exasperated.

"Oh, so she's 'just a friend' now? Where are the pictures of Stan, Danny, Rob, or Calvin? Huh, Louis? Where are those friends?" Harry demands, his arms flailing.

Louis mumbles something under his breath, prompting Harry to lean in closer. "What was that?"

Clearing his throat, Louis repeats, "I might've thrown those away."

"But you deliberately kept a photo of your ex-girlfriend?!" Harry exclaims, his voice dripping with disbelief. "Oh, we've got a mental crisis."

"Yeah, we've got a crisis in our marriage, but it's not because you found that picture. It's because you're a psycho," Louis snaps.

Harry whirls around, scoffing in disbelief.

"This shouldn't even be a big deal," Louis presses.

"Well, it is to me," Harry growls. "And do you know what makes it worse?"

"Oh, please. Enlighten me," Louis says.

"You had the nerve—the audacity—to stick this woman's picture in the book I gave you for Valentine's Day!" Harry shouts.

Louis raises an eyebrow, incredulous. "I did?"

"Yes, you did! That's it, I'm calling Dr. Payne!" Harry declares, storming toward the door.

Louis groans, dragging a hand down his face. "Not him again. The last time we went, we left ready to kill each other."

"Good! Because I want to kill you right now, so maybe this time we'll come out happy!" Harry fires back before shoving past him.

With a tired sigh, Louis bends to pick up the discarded photo. From the hallway, Harry's voice erupts, "You better not be staring at that picture!"

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry sits on the couch with Avery nestled in his lap, both watching the cartoon playing on his iPad. On the opposite end, Louis sits with Phoebe, engrossed in a nature documentary. The only thing keeping the atmosphere somewhat civil is the presence of the children. Harry had tried—unsuccessfully—to convince Avery to sit in the dining room or anywhere else, but the child had insisted on the couch. And so, here Harry was, tolerating Louis's proximity, breathing the same air and barely holding it together.

The sound of hurried footsteps draws their attention as Alice bursts into the living room. "Mom, I need new bras. I must've eaten too much fish the other night because I can't fit into the old ones anymore."

Harry hums absentmindedly, fingers threading lazily through Avery's curls. "Why don't you ask your father? He's the expert on breasts."

Louis glares at him from across the couch while Alice grimaces. "Are you two fighting again?"

"No, love," Harry responds with mock innocence, his tone deceptively soft. "It's just that someone's been taking 'holding onto memories' a bit too literally."

Alice looks back and forth between them, confused. "Okay... I'll just ask Eileen," she mutters before retreating.

Avery, glancing up from his tablet, bites his lip. "Mommy, is the baby gonna be a boy or a girl?"

Harry shrugs. "Whatever they are, hopefully, they don't look like your dad."

Avery frowns, his voice innocent. "I like Daddy's face."

Louis smiles warmly. "Thanks, Ave. Now why don't you head upstairs for a bit? Daddy needs to talk to Mommy."

Phoebe takes that as her cue and quickly gets up, followed reluctantly by Avery. With the kids gone, the air in the room shifts. Louis leans back, studying Harry, who stubbornly focuses on a random spot on the wall as if trying to bore a hole through it.

Louis sighs, getting up and crossing the distance to sit beside Harry. "Baby, let's talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," Harry replies, his voice clipped.

"There is," Louis insists gently. "You're upset, and I want to understand why. Let's talk it out."

Harry bites his finger, clearly seething, but remains silent. After a long pause, he huffs and turns to face Louis. "What made her so special?"

Louis furrows his brow. "What?"

"What made her so special?" Harry presses.

Louis exhales, running a hand through his hair. "H, it wasn't about her being special. We were young. I was young. Everything was... new."

Harry blinks at him, his tone suddenly sharp. "Oh, so I'm old now? Like leftovers? Refried chicken? I'm just refried chicken to you, Louis?"

"What? How did we get to chicken? I didn't say anything about chicken," Louis says, exasperated.

Harry groans, dragging his hands down his face. "Okay, let me take a step back. Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm being too reactive." His voice softens as he looks at Louis. "Baby, I just need closure. Can you tell me what made her so special? That's all I need."

Louis raises an eyebrow. "You just need closure? That's it?"

Harry nods eagerly. "That's it. I promise."

"You're not going to get mad?" Louis asks suspiciously.

"Of course not," Harry assures, smiling sweetly.

Louis hesitates, biting his lip, before sighing. "Alright," he begins, leaning back as a small chuckle escapes him.

Harry grins, intrigued. "What's funny?"

"It's just... kind of silly. I remember one time she dressed up as a nurse. She was crawling around on the floor, pretending she wanted me to take her temperature. You know me—I'm always up for a challenge. So there I was with a thermometer, and it went from 92.3 to 107.5 in thirty seconds."

Harry bursts into laughter. "A nurse?"

Louis nods, chuckling along, and Harry's smile widens. "Like the time you made me dress up like a nurse?"

Louis absentmindedly confirms with another nod.

Harry immediately slaps his shoulder, making Louis wince. "So all this time, I thought we were playing doctor and nurse, but we were really playing Danielle and Louis!" Harry shouts, springing to his feet.

"No, no—it wasn't like that," Louis protests.

Harry crosses his arms. "Then how was it different?"

"Um... she was a candy striper. You were an RN," Louis tries weakly.

Harry's jaw drops. "So she got to be a sexy candy striper, and I'm the old, tired, battered RN?!"

Louis pauses, stammering. "I... I don't know! Harry, this is ridiculous."

"No, it's not!" Harry snaps.

"Yes, it is! You're getting worked up over something that happened more than twenty years ago," Louis exclaims.

"Something you've been secretly fantasizing about ever since!" Harry shoots back. "Well, I hope those memories of Danielle keep you warm because you won't be sharing anything with me for a long, long time!"

With that, he storms toward the stairs.

"I thought you weren't going to get mad!" Louis calls after him. "What happened to closure?"

The loud slam of the bedroom door is his only answer.

  ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Eileen marches into Junior's room, a laundry basket in her arms and a sour look on her face. She hates it when their parents are fighting—it always ends with one of them taking the brunt of it. This time, like most times, it's Harry who's fuming. To make matters worse, Eileen had chosen the absolute worst moment to confess she accidentally shrank Harry's favorite blouse, which she had planned to wear to a retreat with Evan.

"I'm grounded for three weeks," she grumbles, picking up Junior's dirty clothes.

Junior swivels around in his chair, pulling his attention away from his computer. "You think you've got problems? I've got two colleges that haven't rejected me yet."

Eileen freezes mid-fold, then bursts out laughing. "You? Applying to college? That's hysterical."

"Yeah, well, I  have to," Junior says, unfazed. "The girl I've been talking to is serious about school, so if I want to keep seeing her, I've gotta get my act together."

Eileen narrows her eyes suspiciously. "Since when have you been talking to someone?"

"Two months now," Junior replies casually.

"Do Mom and Dad know about this?"

"Nope, and I'd appreciate it if you kept it that way," Junior says firmly.

Eileen shrugs, indifferent. As she straightens out a shirt, she saunters over to his desk. "Alright, so what schools are you looking at?"

"There's Hamburger University in Illinois," Junior begins.

Eileen wrinkles her nose. "Hamburger University? That's...a thing?"

"Yeah, it's for fast food," Junior explains.

Eileen presses her lips together, stifling a laugh. "What's the other one?"

"It's called Hammerhead Tech University. Beautiful campus—on the top floor of an office building in Tampa, Florida," Junior says, reading from his notes.

"Oh yeah, sounds like a perfect match for you," Eileen teases, patting his head.

Junior swats her hand away with a glare. "The problem is I have to write an essay about why I want to go there, and I'm totally stuck."

Eileen shrugs. "Can't help you there. I'm terrible at essays. You need someone smart. Someone creative."

Junior groans. "I don't know anyone like that."

Just then, the sound of Alice's piano playing drifts through the house. Eileen smirks knowingly. "Oh, yeah, you do."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis steps onto the balcony, spotting Harry leaning over the railing, the wind tousling his hair. He knocks gently on the doorway as he approaches. "Mind if I join you?"

Harry glances over his shoulder, rolling his eyes before looking back out at the view.

"Still giving me the silent treatment?" Louis murmurs, mostly to himself. "That's fine. I just need you to listen."

Harry's jaw tightens as Louis moves beside him, positioning himself so that his presence feels closer, more imposing.

"I haven't been completely honest with you," Louis begins, his voice low. "Not with you, and not with myself. I've been holding onto that picture for years, and now I finally understand why. It reminded me of being young—of simpler, carefree times."

Harry turns to face him, his eyes sharp. "And how am I supposed to feel about that? That you look at her picture and feel young? What do you feel when you look at me?"

Louis doesn't hesitate. "I feel like the luckiest man alive when I look at you," he says earnestly. Harry's lips twitch at the words, a small crack in his icy demeanor that gives Louis hope.

"Danielle and I were just horny teenagers," Louis continues. "With you, I'm in love. I'm in lust. We've got twelve beautiful kids and counting. That picture? It's just a relic of my past. But you—you're my present and my future. And I'm so, so sorry that I hurt you."

Harry sighs deeply, resting his head against the railing. "That's sweet, Louis, but talk is cheap. It's going to take more than words to fix this."

Louis gestures toward the doorway. "Will that help?"

Harry follows Louis' gaze to see Avery standing there, holding the now-ruined photo of Danielle, covered in splattered black ink.

Harry lets out a startled laugh, looking back at Louis in disbelief. "Did you seriously get our son to destroy that photo?"

"I did," Louis admits, grabbing Harry by the hips. "Because it doesn't mean anything to me."

Harry bites his lip, his eyes searching Louis'. "Also because I knew if I didn't, you'd have gone after her yourself," Louis adds knowingly.

Harry swats his shoulder, though he's laughing now. "Oh, I really don't want to forgive you."

"You don't have to," Louis replies, his tone soft. "I know keeping it was wrong, even if I didn't have bad intentions. And I'm truly sorry."

Harry tries to suppress a smile, but his dimples give him away. With a huff, he hides his face against Louis' chest. "Why do you have to be so good at this?"

"Because I'm hopelessly in love with you," Louis says with a small shrug.

Harry smiles, pulling back just enough to loop his arms around Louis' neck. "I believe you," he murmurs, his lips hovering over Louis'.

Louis tilts his head and presses a gentle kiss to Harry's lips, his hand rising to cup Harry's face, the other settling on the curve of his back.

A loud throat-clearing breaks the moment. "Can I go now?" Avery asks.

Louis chuckles and crouches to take the picture from Avery's hands. "Yeah, you're free to go."

As Avery disappears, Harry watches him with a fond smile before turning to Louis with a softer expression. "Thank you for doing that."

"Always," Louis replies, stepping closer and resting his hands on Harry's stomach. Though it's still flat, there's a firmness that hints at the life growing within. "And I meant every word."

Harry's eyes glisten as he bites his lip, his hand drifting to Louis' neck, his thumb brushing lightly over his pulse. "I suppose I can forgive you," he says with playful reluctance. "A little. You'll have to earn the rest."

"I'll work like a dog if I have to," Louis declares with a grin, nipping playfully at Harry's finger when it grazes his lips.

Harry laughs, pulling away. "Come on, let's help Avery get his reward. Because I know you didn't handle that part."

Chapter Text

Harry sits cross-legged in the middle of the living room, fingers perfectly positioned, eyes shut as he breathes deeply and evenly. Still in his first trimester, he's taken to practicing breathing and pelvic exercises as recommended by his yoga instructor to prepare for the months ahead.

The younger kids had been fed and tucked in, falling asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows, giving Harry a rare moment of peace to focus on himself. That peace, however, is shattered by the sharp slam of the front door.

"Hey, sexy," Louis greets, his voice full of cheer.

Harry's brows knit together, but his eyes stay closed. "Shh, Louis," he hisses, not breaking his focus.

"What? No need to pray anymore—the answer's here," Louis jokes.

Harry lets out a sharp "Shh!" again, his tone leaving no room for argument. "This is important," he warns.

"Alright, alright, sorry," Louis mutters, though his tone carries amusement.

Harry sighs, readjusting his posture and refocusing his mind. He's nearly back to a calm state when he feels Louis' hand hovering over his face. A moment later, Louis crouches beside him, clearly trying to distract him—and succeeding.

"Stop it!" Harry snaps, eyes still closed.

Louis pulls back, his expression confused. "How'd you see that?"

"My eyes are closed, but my senses are open," Harry replies curtly, finally blinking his eyes open.

"Not the only thing I see open," Louis quips, grinning cheekily as Harry promptly closes his legs.

With a huff, Harry stands, grabbing his yoga mat to fold.

"You're really into this meditation thing," Louis comments, rising to his feet.

Harry nods enthusiastically. "It's so good for me. I can feel my pelvic floor blossoming like a flower," he says, his voice dreamy and filled with wonder.

"They didn't already do that?" Louis asks, genuinely curious.

Harry rolls his eyes, brushing past him. "Twenty years, Louis—twenty years, and you still don't know the answer to that?"

"Baby, I wasn't the one giving birth," Louis counters knowingly.

Harry stops halfway up the stairs, a smile curling on his lips. Louis stiffens immediately, recognizing that smile as the prelude to trouble.

"You're right, Louis," Harry says sweetly. "You weren't. Which is why you should start the program with me."

Louis groans loudly. "Please, don't."

Harry gasps in mock offense. "This is going to be great! Do you know how humiliating it is being the oldest and the only single parent at those meetings?"

Louis looks at him with sincere sympathy. "I'm so sorry you feel that way," he says gently. Then, with a firm shake of his head, he adds, "But I'm not going to that dingy, waste of money, waste of time, shitty—"

Harry freezes mid-step, whirling around with a glare that could kill. "Don't you dare finish that sentence!"

Louis can't help himself. "Shitty yoga lessons," he finishes under his breath.

Harry storms back down, swatting Louis hard on the shoulder, enough to make him stumble back and nearly lose his balance.

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

"Mommy, do eggs have chickens?" Allison asks curiously from her seat at the table, a plate of fruit and eggs in front of her. Beside her, Faith has finished her own breakfast and is now reaching over to pick the strawberries off Allison's plate.

Harry, sitting nearby and focused on finishing a crochet pattern for his instructor, Ryan, glances up briefly. His frown deepens when he catches Faith in the act. "Faith, what did I tell you about that? Enough."

Faith pulls her hand back, looking sheepish as she sticks her fingers into her mouth. With a sigh, Harry rises from his chair, grabs Faith's plate, and heads to get her more strawberries. However, the moment he picks it up, Faith starts to whine.

Harry pauses, confused. "You don't want more?"

"Yes!" Faith exclaims, her voice insistent.

"Okay, I'm getting you more," Harry reassures, but as soon as he turns toward the kitchen, Faith bursts into tears, her wails echoing loudly.

Harry sighs, running a hand through his hair. It's shaping up to be one of those mornings. He quickly grabs more strawberries from the kitchen and places the plate back in front of Faith. Her sobs fade instantly.

Claire enters the dining room, her hands clapped over her ears to block out Faith's earlier cries. "What's her deal?" she asks, exasperated.

Harry waves her off as Faith happily digs into her strawberries. Meanwhile, Allison turns her attention back to her breakfast, completely unbothered by her sister's antics. "Mommy, do eggs have chickens?" she repeats.

Harry finally sits down and answers, "No, baby. Eggs come from chickens."

"Oh," Allison says with a thoughtful nod. She picks up an egg with her fingers—ignoring her fork entirely—and pops it into her mouth. "I don't want chicken."

"Really?" Harry muses. "Are you vegetarian now?"

"What's a... vegenarian?" Allison asks, stumbling over the word.

Harry chuckles. "Vegetarian. It means you don't eat meat."

"Oh." Allison considers this for a moment. "No, I don't want meat."

Harry raises an eyebrow, his lips quirking into a faint smile. "Does that mean no more fish, either?"

Allison's head snaps up, her expression suddenly alarmed. "Oh, no, no, no. I like fish!"

Louis strolls into the dining room, dressed in just a graphic t-shirt and briefs, chewing absentmindedly on his nails. Harry leans back in his chair slightly, watching as Louis heads toward the coffee machine.

"Why aren't you dressed yet?" Harry asks, his tone light but pointed.

Louis looks over his shoulder. "Do I need to be?"

"The yoga lessons," Harry reminds him with a raised brow.

Louis scoffs. "You were serious about that?"

"Of course I was," Harry replies, rolling his eyes. "Ryan's lessons are a transformative journey toward personal growth and—"

"Give me a moment to mourn my weekend," Louis interrupts dramatically, leaving the room with a hand over his heart.

Harry shakes his head, amused. "You are going to this lesson!" he calls after him. "And you're gonna like it!"

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The room reeks with a humid tang that reminds Louis of the sweat between a woman's thighs. He dramatically plugs his nose as they step inside, earning an annoyed swat to his elbow from Harry. The motion startles Louis, and his hand drops.

Satisfied, Harry fixes a bright smile on his face and strides toward Ryan's desk. "Hey, I brought this for you," he says warmly, holding out the crocheted hat he'd made.

Ryan's face lights up as he accepts the gift. "Oh, thank you so much, Harry. This is gorgeous—you're so talented," he gushes, carefully examining the intricate pattern.

Harry bites his lip, bashful. "Thank you." He gestures toward Louis. "This is my husband. Thanks for finding room for him."

"Of course—" Ryan begins, but he falters as his gaze lands on Louis. His eyes trail over him from head to toe, his lips curving into a subtle, appreciative smile. The moment escapes Harry's notice, as he's momentarily distracted by a mom calling out to greet him.

Louis, however, notices. His eyebrows shoot up in disbelief as Ryan offers his hand with a coquettish bat of his lashes. "Hi," he says. "I'm Ryan, the instructor. I've always wondered who's behind this one," he adds with a teasing lilt, nodding toward Harry. "Looks like you've been hiding in plain sight."

Louis lets out a strained chuckle, uncertain how to respond, while Ryan's smile widens. He finally steps back to address the group, his voice lifting as she calls out, "Alright, everyone, let's try some positions!"

The class progresses to couples' poses, which Ryan introduces with a sunny smile. "Alright, partners, let's connect with some poses that encourage teamwork and trust," he says, his gaze lingering on Louis as he explains.

The first exercise involves Louis supporting Harry in a squat. Harry grips his forearms, lowering himself slowly while Louis braces him. "Feel the connection," Ryan coos as he moves between the couples. When he reaches them, he leans a little closer than necessary. "Wow, Louis. Strong arms. Harry's lucky to have such support," he says.

Louis smirks awkwardly. "Yeah, I've been told I'm pretty great at holding things up."

Harry huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. "Oh, he's great at a lot of things. You should see him try to fold laundry."

Louis playfully pinches the soft curve of Harry's hip. Eventually, they take a break, sitting side by side on their yoga mat and sharing a small bag of animal crackers. Harry grins brightly, speaking around a mouthful of crackers. "So, what do you think of this whole yoga thing?"

Louis smiles, brushing a few crumbs from Harry's lips with his thumb. "Honestly? If it weren't for you, I'd probably rather throw myself into traffic."

Harry bursts into laughter, his head tilting back as the sound fills the room. "I can't believe you just said that."

Louis shrugs with a playful grin. "Just being honest." His gaze drifts to Harry's nearly empty water bottle. "Want me to fill that up for you?"

Harry nods, giving Louis a quick, appreciative peck on the lips. "Thanks, babe."

Once Louis steps away, Harry returns to his snacks, nibbling on a cracker shaped like a giraffe. Ryan, who had been lingering nearby, takes the opportunity to approach.

"How's it going?" he asks casually, stopping by Harry's mat.

Harry looks up, smiling politely. "Good, thanks."

Ryan glances in the direction Louis went. "Quite the husband you've got there."

"Yeah, he's great," Harry replies, still smiling as he chews.

Ryan pauses, tilting his head as if considering his next words carefully. "Are you two... serious?"

Harry's brows knit together in confusion. "Uh, yeah. We're twelve kids deep serious."

Ryan's eyes widen in surprise. "Twelve? Really?"

Harry's smile falters, and a sense of unease creeps over him. Folding his arms across his chest, he narrows his eyes. "Yes, really."

Ryan purses his lips. "Do you think he's the type to cheat?"

Harry freezes for a moment, then rises to his feet, his expression shifting to disbelief. "I'm sorry, what?"

Unfazed, Ryan shrugs. "I've come across a lot of couples who are... open to adding someone else. I figured I'd ask."

Harry stares at her in shock. "Are you serious right now? You think a ten-plus-year marriage, my marriage, is just casually looking to add a third? You've got some nerve—"

Before Harry can say more, Louis returns, a filled water bottle in hand. He pauses, immediately sensing the tension in the air. "What's going on?" he asks, looking between them.

Harry gestures toward Ryan with barely contained fury. "Apparently, yoga isn't the only thing she's interested in. Go ahead, Ryan. Tell my husband what you just said."

Ryan turns to Louis, his expression shifting to something softer. "I love you," he says boldly.

Harry gasps audibly, his jaw dropping. "Oh, you little bitch—" He raises his hand, but Louis quickly steps in, grabbing his wrist gently but firmly.

"Remember what Dr. Payne said," Louis murmurs soothingly, his gaze steady on Harry's.

Harry takes a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling as he tries to calm himself. "You're right. You're right," he mutters, as if trying to convince himself.

Louis offers a small, relieved smile, thinking the moment has passed. But before he can say anything, Harry's fist flies out, connecting squarely with Ryan's nose.

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry sits in the living room, his knee bouncing anxiously as he presses an ice pack to his bruised knuckles. "I can't believe that man," he mutters in frustration. "First, he tries to steal my husband, and now my hand's all messed up. Do you have any idea how bad this is? How am I supposed to show up to Fashion Week like this?"

Louis paces back and forth, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He stops mid-stride, shooting Harry a pointed look. "Are you seriously worried about Fashion Week right now? Forget about it—Ryan might press charges."

Harry sighs, his gaze dropping to his hands, looking like a chastised child. It's not often that Louis takes on the role of the scolder, but when he does, it's unyielding.

"What were you thinking?" Louis asks, disbelief dripping from his tone.

"I wasn't," Harry mumbles, barely audible.

"What was that?" Louis presses, raising a brow.

Harry lets out an exasperated huff. "I said I wasn't."

"Ding-ding," Louis replies sarcastically, throwing his hands up. "Thank you for finally admitting it."

"I don't appreciate how you're talking to me," Harry snaps, his green eyes flashing with irritation.

"Oh, and you think Ryan appreciated that punch to the nose?" Louis retorts, his voice laced with incredulity. "No. And now, thanks to your brilliant decision-making, we're probably minutes away from having the cops at our door. Honestly, Harry, I'd expect this from one of our kids, not you."

Before Harry can respond, Alice appears at the top of the stairs, giggling as she leans over the railing. "Did Mom seriously punch the yoga instructor?"

Harry frowns as he glances over his shoulder, while Louis lets out an exasperated sigh. "Alice, back to your room. Now."

"But, Dad—" Alice protests, her tone playful.

Louis cuts her off with a sharp look that sends her scurrying back up the stairs. Once she's gone, he folds his arms across his chest, his gaze settling back on Harry.

Harry meets Louis' glare with a pout, slumping further into the couch. His legs are crossed, and his entire posture screams disobedience.

"I can't believe you right now," Louis says, gesturing toward himself. "I'm supposed to be the impulsive one, not you."

"I am younger," Harry points out petulantly.

"Still," Louis hisses.

Before either of them can say more, the doorbell rings, its chime cutting through the tense silence. Louis exhales deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose again. "That's probably them."

"Who?" Harry asks, sitting up straighter.

"The police, Harry," Louis mutters, heading toward the door.

Louis swings the door open, and just as he expected, a tall police officer stands on the porch, resting a hand on his duty belt. The man's jaw works steadily as he chews gum, his posture relaxed but professional. "Good evening. Is this the Tomlinson household?"

"It is," Louis confirms, his voice even.

"Are you Harry Tomlinson?" the officer asks.

Louis presses his lips together and glances over his shoulder. On the couch, Harry freezes at the mention of his name. He's slouched deep into the cushions, gnawing on his bottom lip. Louis sighs, tilting his head toward the door. "Come on, H."

With clear reluctance, Harry rises and approaches, his steps slow and hesitant. Before he can utter a word, the officer greets him. "Hello, ma'am. I'm Officer Tatum."

Harry's eyes widen in mild surprise. "Oh, it's sir," he corrects politely, then adds with a playful smile, "But I don't mind ma'am."

Tatum's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Really? Well, you're very beautiful."

A blush creeps onto Harry's cheeks as he grins and tucks a stray curl behind his ear. "Why, thank you."

Louis arches a brow, his gaze darting between the officer and Harry, suspicion creeping into his expression. "Excuse me," Louis interjects. "Is there a reason you're here?"

Tatum clears his throat, straightening his stance as though remembering why he's on the porch. "Right. I'm here regarding an incident reported earlier today by Ryan Rowe. He claims he was assaulted—punched, specifically—by you."

Harry folds his hands in front of him, putting on an air of contrition. "Yes, I admit it happened, and I regret it deeply," he says sweetly, talking in a carefully measured manner. "But, Officer, I'm sure you can understand how stressful things can get. He provoked me repeatedly. I mean, isn't an instructor supposed to help pregnant people, not upset them?"

Tatum nods quickly, his brow furrowed in sympathy. "That's true. Stress isn't good for someone in your condition."

"Exactly," Harry says, his lips curling into a grateful smile. "How long have you been an officer, Officer Tatum? You look pretty young."

Tatum chuckles, shifting slightly on his feet. "I just started not too long ago. Still getting the hang of things."

"Well," Harry replies, voice honeyed, "you're doing an amazing job so far. I mean, you handled this so professionally already. I bet the people in this town are lucky to have you."

Tatum's face flushes, and he rubs the back of his neck. "Thank you, that means a lot."

Louis clears his throat loudly, his patience wearing thin. "This is all very touching, but are we resolving this tonight, or—?"

Harry shoots Louis a warning glare, effectively silencing him. Then, turning back to Tatum with wide, doe-like eyes, he softly asks, "Do you really think this needs to go on my record? It's such a small misunderstanding. Surely we can sort this out without all the paperwork, right?"

Tatum hesitates, visibly flustered. "Well...I suppose if you're willing to apologize to Mr. Rowe, I can write this off as a verbal warning."

Harry beams, reaching out to lightly touch Tatum's forearm. "Thank you so much. You're so understanding. Really, you've made my night."

Louis bites the inside of his cheek to keep from saying something sarcastic. Instead, he waits until Tatum tips his hat and heads back to his patrol car before rounding on Harry. "What the hell was that?"

Harry smirks, unbothered. "That, my dear husband, was the art of persuasion. You should try it sometime."

Louis groans, dragging a hand down his face. "Unbelievable."

Harry flashes him a cheeky grin as he heads toward the stairs. "Don't act like you didn't enjoy the show."

Chapter Text

Alice sits at the dining table, a geography book spread open in front of her. She taps her pencil rhythmically against the tabletop, her brows furrowed in concentration as she tries to make sense of the material. Across from her, Delaney watches intently, her head tilted with curiosity, amused by Alice's serious demeanor.

When Alice absentmindedly reaches up to scratch her nose, Delaney grins. "Is your nose itchy?" she asks innocently.

Alice shoots her an irritated glare. "Shut up."

Delaney shrugs and begins clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, creating an obnoxious sound.

"Stop it," Alice snaps, briefly looking up.

"Stop what? This?" Delaney repeats the noise, adding an exaggerated tilt to her head with each click.

Alice's eyes narrow dangerously. "If you don't cut it out, I'll rip your head off and shove it up your butt."

Delaney bursts into laughter. "Then it'll sound like this," she jokes, covering her mouth to mimic a muffled version of the same clicking noise.

Alice stands abruptly, grabbing Delaney by the shirt, ready to make good on her threat. But before she can act, Harry steps into the room, quickly pulling Delaney to his side.

"Whoa, whoa," Harry says, holding Delaney close and staring at Alice like she's lost her mind. "What on earth are you doing?"

"I'm trying to study for my test, and everyone in this house is annoying me!" Alice shouts, throwing her hands up in frustration.

"Sit down, Alice. You need to take a breath. All this stress isn't helping—you'll give yourself hives."

Alice groans dramatically, collapsing back into her chair. "Too late. I'm already getting a zit."

Harry leans closer to examine her face, brushing her chin lightly with his fingers. "There's some ointment in the medicine cabinet," he says softly.

Alice huffs and gets up, muttering to herself as she stomps out of the room. Harry watches her leave before turning his attention to Delaney, placing his hands on his hips and fixing her with a disapproving look.

Delaney slouches in her chair, her sheepish expression giving her away. 

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Junior strides into his parents' bedroom with determined steps, his eyes darting between them. "I need to talk to you," he announces.

Louis emerges from the bathroom, a towel in hand as he finishes wiping shaving cream off his chin. "What did you break, and how much is it going to cost me?" he asks dryly.

"It's not like that," Junior replies, waving off the assumption. He shifts his focus to Harry, knowing he'll have better luck there. "So, I've started dating this girl—her name's Summer—and I was wondering if she could come over for dinner on Saturday."

Harry's mouth drops open in surprise, and he immediately glances at Louis, silently asking, Are you hearing this?

Louis looks just as stunned, narrowing his eyes as he scrutinizes Junior. "Wait. 'Dating,' as in there's a girl out there who's willingly spending time with you?"

Junior shrugs nonchalantly. "Yeah. She thinks I'm the smartest person in the world."

Louis snorts, folding his arms. "What kind of alternate reality is this? I think I woke up in the wrong universe."

Harry bursts out laughing, unable to contain himself, while Junior glares at both of them. "Can you just answer my question?" he demands.

Harry finally reins in his laughter and offers his son a warm smile. "Of course, June. She's welcome to come over."

Junior beams and claps his hands together. "Perfect. And do you think you could make brisket?"

Harry sighs, giving a small smile. "I'll see if I'm up for it." With his second trimester a week in, pregnancy is taking its toll—swollen ankles and all. As much as he loves cooking, standing for extended periods has become a challenge.

Junior grins wider, pleased. "This is great—thanks, Mom."

Louis raises an eyebrow at him. Junior hesitates, then reluctantly adds, "And thanks, Dad. I guess."

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Saturday arrives faster than anyone expected. Despite Harry's desire to lounge on the weekend, he dedicates his morning to tidying up the house and finalizing the grocery list for dinner. Between prepping the kitchen and tackling his usual tasks, he also helps Alice study for her test. Her anxiety is already showing in the form of hives on her arms, not to mention the prominent zit on her face. 

Harry leans over Alice's shoulder, pointing to a question on her worksheet, when Junior descends the stairs. Dressed in a crisp black dress shirt and slacks, he pauses at the foot of the stairs, looking slightly self-conscious. Harry's face lights up with pride as he places a hand over his chest.

"Oh, baby, you look so handsome," he gushes.

Junior blushes, glancing down at his outfit. "Yeah? You really think so?"

Louis, lounging on the couch with a bag of chips he wasn't supposed to be eating, glances over. "You look like a Jehovah's Witness," he mutters through a mouthful of chips.

Harry shoots a sharp glare at Louis before turning his warm smile back to Junior. "Ignore your father. You look great, sweetie. I'm sure Summer will be excited to see you."

Junior's grin returns as he steps closer. "Thanks, Mom. Summer should be here any—" His words are cut off by a horrified shriek as his gaze lands on Alice. "Whoa, Alice, what's that thing on your nose?"

Alice immediately covers her nose with her hand, glaring at him. "Shut up, Junior!"

Junior smirks. "It looks like someone shot a golf ball at your head, and it got stuck halfway through."

"That's it!" Alice snaps. "If you don't shut up, I'm telling your girlfriend you wet the bed!"

Junior bursts out laughing. "That happened once."

"Yeah," Alice fires back, "once a week until you were fourteen."

Junior feigns lunging at her just as the doorbell rings, sparing him from further embarrassment. Straightening his posture, he strides to the door, leaving the rest of the family behind.

From the couch, Harry adjusts the red lace blouse he had chosen for the evening—something he hadn't expected to fit so well during this pregnancy, which was thankfully progressing more gently than the last.

Junior opens the door to greet Summer with a kiss on the cheek, stepping aside to let her in. She enters with a shy smile, clutching a small purse in front of her. Her straightened hair falls softly over her shoulders, and her modest outfit, a light sweater paired with a knee-length blue skirt, presents her in a soft light.

Junior beams with pride as he introduces Summer to his family. Louis is the first to offer his hand, giving her a polite handshake.

Next, Harry steps forward, his welcoming smile putting her at ease as he shakes her hand. "We've heard a lot about you."

Summer blushes, glancing down shyly before looking back at him. "And you're just as beautiful as June said you are, Mr. Tomlinson."

Harry's face lights up at the compliment. "Oh, that's so sweet, but don't call me Mr. Tomlinson. Just Harry is fine."

Summer nods, her smile growing wider. "Okay, Harry," she says, testing the name. She pauses, her nose twitching slightly as she sniffs the air. "Mmm, what's that amazing smell?"

"That would be my brisket," Harry replies, already heading toward the kitchen. "It should be ready any minute now."

"Oh, let me help you!" Summer offers eagerly, hurrying to follow him.

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

That night, after Summer has gone home, Harry climbs into bed where Louis is already lying on his side, engrossed in a new game on his phone—a fixation he's recently developed. Harry pulls the blanket down and starts swiping his hand over it in frustration, catching Louis' attention. Louis glances up briefly. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Harry replies in a high-pitched voice, clearly not okay.

"You sure?" Louis presses, only to have his head drop suddenly as Harry yanks the pillow out from under it to fluff it. Louis sits up, raising an eyebrow. "There's nothing bothering you?"

Harry hums noncommittally, grabbing his book from the bedside table. He flips it open for a moment before snapping it shut with an annoyed sigh. "I do not like that girl."

Louis stares at him, incredulous. "Are you serious? She was perfect. She reminded me of a young you."

Harry makes a disapproving noise in the back of his throat as Louis continues. "She's polite, helpful—what's not to like?"

"That's just an act," Harry says with a scoff. "You fell for it, Louis? I see right through that girl."

Louis looks at him as though he's lost his mind, tilting his head silently.

"And did you notice how that little heifer called me Harry?" Harry adds, voice tinged with indignation.

Louis frowns in confusion. "You told her to call you Harry. Remember?"

"Yes, I did," Harry says, nodding firmly. "But that was a test, and she failed."

Louis stares at his husband, unsure whether to laugh or argue, as Harry crosses his arms over his chest in defiance. A tense silence hangs between them before Harry whips his head around. "And did you hear her call him June? Nobody calls him June but me," he declares possessively. "She's got to go."

Louis shakes his head, smirking. "You know what this is? You're just scared she's gonna steal your baby boy's heart."

Harry rolls his eyes dramatically. "Oh, please. That's ridiculous."

"No, it's not," Louis counters. "You need to stop being such a mom and let him grow up. He's almost eighteen, Harry. He's not about to be manipulated by some pretty girl."

Harry sets his book aside, narrowing his eyes. "Don't you know by now that a clever person can make a man do whatever they want?"

"That's not true," Louis says with a laugh.

"Really?" Harry arches a brow.

"Not at all," Louis insists.

"Okay," Harry nods, feigning agreement. "Take me to Swan Lake next Saturday."

Louis groans, rolling his eyes. "Hell no."

Harry frowns, sitting up straight. "And why not?"

"I'd rather eat glass than sit through a ballet," Louis says bluntly.

Harry narrows his eyes at him. "If you were a good husband, you'd want to spend time with your spouse."

Louis places a hand over his chest dramatically. "Well, excuse me for wanting a weekend to myself."

Harry glares harder, then sharply turns on his side, pulling the blanket with him in an exaggerated huff. Louis shrugs and returns to his game, pretending not to care. But the faint sound of sniffles makes him sigh.

"Fine," Louis relents.

Harry shakes his head, wiping at his eyes. "No. You'll just ruin it if you don't actually want to go."

"I don't want to go," Louis admits. "But I'm not about to let you go watch ballet by yourself."

"You're only going because you feel bad," Harry mumbles into the pillows.

"No," Louis says gently. "I'm going because I love my husband, and he shouldn't have to go alone."

Harry huffs, burying his face deeper into the pillow. "You make everything so difficult."

Louis leans over and presses a quick kiss to his cheek. "You love it."

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry spends a few minutes on the phone with a parent, checking in about the triplets' sleepover. He wants to ensure they'll be fine through the night and that he won't have to leave the ballet mid-performance to pick them up. After a bit of back-and-forth, Adeline finally promises he won't call to come home at midnight, putting Harry at ease.

With that settled, Harry turns his attention to getting ready. The house is unusually quiet since everyone but Junior and the youngest twins will be out for the evening. Harry doesn't think much of it at first, too preoccupied with finishing his phone call and preparing for the night.

In his room, he's torn between two dress options. One is a pink leopard-print gown he's a little unsure about, but he decides to give it a shot. Slipping it on, he heads halfway down the stairs and calls out, "Lou."

Louis, lounging on the couch, glances over his shoulder. "Hm?"

"How do I look?" Harry asks, turning slightly to give Louis a full view.

Louis eyes him briefly and says, "You look good."

Harry's brows furrow in offense. "Good? Just good? I need to look beautiful!" he snaps. "God, am I not good enough for you anymore?" Without waiting for a response, he storms back upstairs, leaving Louis blinking in bewilderment.

Ultimately, Harry opts for the black gown he had initially picked out, a sleek number that falls to his ankles with accents of dark, raven-colored fur. Feeling more confident, he descends the stairs again and stops in front of Louis.

"You look amazing," Louis says with admiration, and Harry's face lights up with a smile.

"Thank you, baby," Harry coos, cupping Louis's face and pressing a firm kiss to his lips.

As Harry adjusts his sleeves, Junior enters the room. "You're still here?" he asks, sounding eager for them to leave.

Harry chuckles. "We're leaving now," he says, striding over to kiss Junior's cheek. "Good night."

"Good night," Junior replies.

Harry heads for the door, calling over his shoulder, "Don't wait up; we'll be late."

They exchange farewells, and as the door closes behind them and the car headlights sweep across the windows, Junior pulls out his phone. With a sly grin, he dials Summer's number.

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry and Louis sit in the top tier of the theater, waiting for the show to begin as the audience slowly fills in. Harry has one leg crossed over the other, absently picking at his nails, but he can't help noticing Louis glancing around, his head turning this way and that in quick succession.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Harry snaps, "What are you doing?"

"Scoping the place," Louis replies. "You know, Abraham Lincoln got shot in a booth just like this."

Harry rolls his eyes, though a hint of a smile tugs at his lips. "Will you stop messing around, Louis?" He pauses, glancing off to the side for a moment before turning back, his voice softening. "You know, I really appreciate this. The food, the limo—everything. It's perfect."

"You're perfect," Louis says with a cheeky grin. "I wanted to make tonight special for you."

Harry's cheeks flush as he smiles bashfully. Louis leans in to peck his cheek just as a couple enters the booth. Or at least, what might loosely be called a couple. It's a young brunette woman with an eye-catching figure, her tight top barely containing her assets, accompanied by an elderly man. The nature of their relationship is not exactly subtle.

The woman flashes a polite smile as they settle into their seats. "Hi," she greets sweetly.

"Hey, y'all," Louis quips, earning a sharp jab in his side from Harry. "What? I wasn't looking," he hisses defensively under his breath, ensuring the woman doesn't hear.

She lets out a content sigh, holding the elderly man's hand. "Isn't this fantastic? Such a great view from up here," she remarks, her maroon-painted lips curling into a smile.

Harry smiles politely in return. "It's very kind of you to bring your father to the ballet," he says.

The woman chuckles, her laughter soft and playful as she pats the man's head affectionately. "Oh, he's not my father," she replies with a sly smile. "He is my Daddy, though."

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Summer laughs behind her hand, her legs crossed modestly as she sits beside Junior on the couch in the otherwise quiet living room. Junior had invited her over after confirming his parents would be out for the evening. With a little effort, he managed to clear the house—except for Allison and Faith, though they weren't much of an obstacle. All it took was waiting until their strict 9 PM bedtime.

Now, with Summer sitting there, looking radiant, her broad smile lighting up the room, Junior feels like he's on top of the world. He laughs along with her, though he's already forgotten the joke, too distracted by the way her brown eyes sparkle. Absentmindedly, he twirls a curl of her frizzy hair around his finger, completely captivated.

"I can't believe you did that to your own sister," Summer chuckles, covering her mouth as her laughter spills out. "I'm sorry—it's just, I've never had siblings. But if I'd been blessed with someone like that, my blood, my age... I could never!"

Junior sits up straighter, his expression incredulous. "Blessed?!" he exclaims dramatically. "You think having eleven delinquents in this house is a blessing? And I'm the oldest. Please."

Summer grins, tilting her head. "But isn't being the oldest great? I think it's cool to have so many people rely on you. To protect them."

Junior considers her words, his expression skeptical as he tilts his hand in a so-so motion. "Too many expectations. Plus, I'm not exactly the smartest."

Summer frowns at that, reaching out to take his hand. "Don't say that," she says earnestly, her eyes locking with his. "You're not dumb. You just see the world differently. I think it's... admirable."

Junior blinks at her, a hint of shyness creeping into his voice. "Really?"

"Of course," Summer says with conviction. "You're brilliant. I mean, all your inventions are so creative. Especially your newest one."

Junior perks up, his face lighting with pride. "You mean the comics on toilet paper?"

Summer giggles, nodding as they both chime in, "Something you like to do with something you have to do."

She nudges him playfully. "See? You're clever."

Junior waves her off, his cheeks flushing with warmth. "You wanna see what I've been working on next?"

Summer nods eagerly. With a grin, Junior grabs her hand, and the two head up the stairs together.

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Ironically, after all the fuss Harry made, he's the first to fall asleep. His head tilts back as he snores softly, a small trail of drool escaping from the corner of his mouth. Louis dozes off not long after—unsurprisingly.

Louis stirs awake at the sound of applause, clapping lazily with half-lidded eyes as he comes to. Glancing over at Harry, still out cold, he shakes his head at his husband's hypocrisy. He'll probably get away with it, though—being pregnant has its perks.

Louis leans toward the woman seated nearby. "Is it over?" he asks groggily.

She turns to him briefly before pressing her fingers to the elderly man's neck to check his pulse. "No, he's still alive," she murmurs, almost disappointed.

Louis blinks. "I—I meant the ballet."

The woman chuckles lightly, waving a dismissive hand. "Oh, no. This is just intermission."

"Ah," Louis replies awkwardly.

She pats the elderly man's chin with a sweet smile. "Wake up, poopsie. Time for your medication."

With careful movements, she helps him to his feet, her coat draped over her elbow.

"Why do you call him poopsie?" Louis asks, curiosity getting the better of him.

Her smile vanishes in an instant. "Don't ask."

Louis looks between them, unsure of how to respond. The elderly man offers him a thumbs-up, which Louis half-heartedly returns. As the couple leaves, he turns his attention back to Harry, gently shaking him awake.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead," Louis coaxes. 

Harry mumbles incoherently, blinking as he tries to focus.

"It's over!" Louis announces with enthusiasm.

Harry's eyes widen in alarm, his sleepiness vanishing. "What?!"

"Yeah," Louis says with mock sympathy. "But don't worry—we can come back in another ten years and do this all over again. Now, come on."

Harry pouts as Louis helps him to his feet, his bottom lip trembling. "What did I miss?"

"Oh, it was incredible," Louis begins, draping Harry's shawl over his shoulders. "There was dancing, singing... and then a monkey came out and started flipping—"

"A monkey?" Harry interrupts, his brows furrowing in confusion.

"Yeah, a little monkey just flipping around," Louis says, gesturing dramatically as Harry grabs the brochure, scanning it to make sure they're even at the right ballet.

Louis places a hand on Harry's lower back, steering him toward the exit. "I'll explain the rest in the limo," he says smoothly.

"What happened to our friends?" Harry asks, pointing to the now-empty seats beside them.

"Oh, they left during intermission. I think poopsie needed a diaper change."

Harry grimaces, wrinkling his nose in disgust before taking Louis' hand. 

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Junior pushes open the door and gestures for Summer to enter. "Welcome to my room, my inner sanctum."

Summer steps inside, her face shifting into a slight frown as she surveys the chaos—clothes piled on the bed, random items scattered across the floor and surfaces. "Oh my God," she murmurs under her breath.

"It's nice, right?" Junior says with a goofy grin.

Summer tucks a curl behind her ear, nodding hesitantly. She turns to him, trying to sound more convincing. "It's very... lived-in."

"Yeah, it's really homey," Junior replies with a dumb smile, heading toward his desk. "Now, where's Captain Tee-Pee? I thought I left him here somewhere." He begins rummaging through the mess on his desk while Summer stands in the middle of the room.

"You know what? Let me help. Maybe it's hiding under something," she offers, already starting to sift through a pile of clothes draped over a basket. Her hand brushes against a piece of paper. Pausing, she skims the sloppily-written words at the top and smirks mischievously. Slowly straightening, she holds it up. "What's this? Ode to Summer?"

Junior's eyes widen as he darts over to snatch it from her. "It's nothing!"

Summer laughs, trailing after him. "Nothing? Come on, what is it?"

"It's nothing," Junior insists, clutching the paper tightly.

Summer groans playfully, batting her lashes. "Please, let me see!"

With a dramatic sigh, Junior finally relents. "Fine."

Grinning, Summer takes the paper and clears her throat. "Ode to Summer: She moves so sweetly, completely, enthralling my heart—"

"Wait, wait!" Junior interrupts, grabbing the paper back. "If you're going to read it, you have to give it life. You've got to perform it."

"Then perform it for me," Summer teases, crossing her arms.

Junior motions to the bed. "Sit down first."

Summer glances skeptically at the pile of clothes. "I would if I could see where it is."

Junior chuckles, brushing off the clutter to make room. "Here. Better?"

Settling onto the bed, Summer looks up at him expectantly. Once she's comfortable, Junior launches into his recital, full of animated gestures. "Ode to Summer: She moves so sweetly, completely. Enthralling my heart, like an engine stalling," he intones, mimicking an engine sputtering. "All my life, I've been pining. 'Til completion, fruition—I'd give my college tuition. All that I have, for Summer." He finishes, flicking her chin playfully.

Summer laughs, covering her face with her hands. "That was the most beautiful poem I've ever heard."

Junior grins. "Well, it was inspired by the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

Touched, Summer leans forward, cradling his jaw as their lips meet in a soft kiss.

Junior claps twice, and the lights turn off. As he begins to guide her back onto the bed, Summer claps her hands to turn the lights back on. "Hold on, this isn't how I pictured it."

Junior frowns, confused. "What do you mean?"

Summer sighs. "I just imagined our first time being... different. Like, I saw this big, beautiful room and... just candlelight and romantic music. You telling me you love me."

Junior's face lights up with understanding. "Say no more."

A few minutes later, they're in his parents' room, soft music playing from his phone. Summer looks around, her smile widening in appreciation. Junior tilts her chin toward him. "I love you," he says earnestly.

"I love you too," Summer replies.

Their lips meet again, and this time, Summer embraces the moment fully.

Downstairs, Harry bursts through the front door, clutching his stomach. Tossing his bag onto the couch, he grimaces. "Oh, those burgers—" His words are cut off as Louis sprints past him.

"Race you to the bathroom!" Louis calls over his shoulder.

"Whatever happened to 'ladies first'?!" Harry snaps, doubling over as he follows.

The two barge into the bedroom, flicking on the lights—only to freeze in stunned silence. Summer and Junior sit bolt upright in bed, the disheveled blankets and awkward expressions giving away their activities.

Harry's face contorts with rage, his stomachache forgotten. Louis is the first to speak. "Get dressed. Now."

Summer stammers, clutching the blanket to her chest. "I'm so sorry, Harry—"

Harry whirls around, pointing a trembling finger at her. "Don't call me that. It's Mr. Tomlinson to you. And get out of my bed, you little hussy!"

Summer's jaw drops, and Junior protests, "Mom, don't call her that!"

Harry throws his arms in the air. "What would you prefer? Loosey? Slut? Tramp? Skank?" He stumbles for a moment, motioning for Louis to give him another name.

 "Bellywarmer," Louis offers.

Junior cringes. "We'll stick with hussy."

"Just get dressed and get out of my bed!" Harry yells, storming out of the room.

Harry stomps down the stairs, his breathing quick and heavy. "Oh, that boy is gonna pay for this."

"Damn right he is," Louis agrees, following close behind.

"He's gonna regret the day he was born," Harry declares, his voice sharp as he paces the living room. "If we let him get away with this, we've lost all authority!"

Louis nods solemnly. "This is Brutus and Popeyes all over again."

Harry blinks. "What?"

"You know, how Brutus used to always disrespect Popeyes?" Louis explains.

Harry stares at him blankly and shakes his head. "Louis, I have no idea what you're going on about."

Louis waves it off, getting back to the matter at hand. "The point is, this boy has completely disrespected us."

"Completely!" Harry exclaims. He stops pacing and sits on the arm of the couch, trying to steady himself. "Okay, how're we gonna punish him?"

Louis crosses his arms. "We throw him out."

Harry springs up from the couch. "What? Nuh-uh, not my baby."

"A baby wouldn't do what he just did," Louis counters.

Harry flails. "Where's he supposed to sleep?!"

"I don't care. Take the bed. I'm never sleeping in that thing again," Louis snaps, heading to the kitchen for a glass of water. 

Harry hurries after him, his voice desperate. "Louis, wait! Wait, you can't just do this!"

Louis turns to face him, his expression unwavering. "Then what's your plan, Harry? What do you suggest?"

"I don't know," Harry admits. "But throwing him out of the house is way too extreme."

Louis' eyes narrow. "Harry, he disrespected our bedroom. There can only be one top dog peeing on the furniture in this house, and that's me. I'm the only pisser around here," he said, pointing to his chest for emphasis.

Harry sighs heavily. "He's still my son, Louis. My baby. And I am not kicking him out of the house. I won't do it."

"Fine," Louis shoots back, leaving abruptly. "I'll handle it myself."

"No, Louis!" Harry yells, chasing after him as Louis storms toward the living room.

At that moment, Junior and Summer enter the room, Summer fidgeting nervously as she glances between the two men. "Mr. Tomlinson," she begins hesitantly, "I just want to explain—"

Harry holds up a hand, cutting her off. "Don't talk. Don't speak. Don't even look at me. Just grab your stuff and take your sorry self out of my house."

Junior steps forward, bristling. "Hey, don't talk to her like that."

"One more word out of you, and you'll be picking at teeth and a gap," Louis points.

Junior scowls but ultimately turns to Summer, gently guiding her toward the door. Before she steps outside, he leans in to give her a soft, lingering kiss.

Louis scoffs, shaking his head. "Look how stupid he is."

Junior sighs, shoving his hands into his pockets as he steps down. "So, what’s it gonna be?"

Louis wastes no time, crossing his arms. "Well, son, I’m not one for long speeches, so I’ll cut to the chase. Get out."

"Okay," Junior replies with a shrug. "I’ll be in my room."

Louis shakes his head firmly. "No, no, no. When I say out, I don’t mean out of my sight—I mean out of my house."

Harry quickly steps forward, his voice rising in protest. "Louis!"

Louis doesn’t look at him. "Harry, now is not the time for this discussion," he mutters.

"But, Louis—"

"H, not in front of the delinquent," Louis interrupts sharply.

Harry starts again, "Louis—"

"Silence!" Louis cuts him off, holding up a hand in front of Harry’s face. Harry glares at him, arms crossed tightly over his chest, but stays quiet. Louis turns back to Junior, unwavering in his stance. "You, out of my house. Now."

Junior shrugs again, unfazed. "Alright. If you don’t want me here, I’ll leave. I'll go get my clothes."

Louis raises an eyebrow. "No, no. You don’t have clothes. Everything you own is mine. As a matter of fact, take those pants off."

Harry groans, rolling his eyes. "Louis, stop."

Louis relents slightly, giving Harry a side glance. "Alright, out of respect for your mother, you can keep the pants. But the rest of you has to go."

Junior gives Louis an annoyed glare, his expression pinched, but heads for the door. "Fine."

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis grimaces as he strips the sheets from their bed, his hands encased in rubber gloves for protection, when Harry strides into the bedroom. "I just spoke with our son," Harry announces.

"I hope he’s not in the garage," Louis replies, dropping their pillows into a trash bag. "That’s still part of this house."

"No, he’s not in the garage," Harry responds, his voice sharp as he emerges from the bathroom.

"Good," Louis mutters, focusing on his task.

"I set up a tent for him in the backyard," Harry states matter-of-factly, adjusting his robe.

Louis stops mid-motion, his brows knitting in disbelief. "You did that without asking me?"

"And you threw him out without asking me," Harry retorts, crossing his arms.

Louis scoffs, shaking his head. "Harry, this is exactly why that boy is so simple-minded. You coddle him with all your motherly love."

Harry throws his hands up, exasperated. "What was I supposed to do, Louis? Just let him wander the streets?"

"You’re supposed to support me! What was I supposed to do—turn my head and pretend it didn't happen?" Louis fires back.

"I’m not even going to argue with you anymore," Harry says coldly, taking off his earrings. "But until this is sorted out, you and I are going to have some serious issues."

"Fine," Louis snaps, shrugging.

"Fine!" Harry echoes, glaring at him.

Louis repeats the word mockingly, causing Harry’s glare to intensify. With a defiant huff, Harry grabs a pillow and tosses it at Louis' head. "If you’re throwing him out of his room, then I’m throwing you out of ours."

"Not a problem," Louis says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Conveniently, there’s a vacancy down the hall. Or maybe even out in the yard."

Harry narrows his eyes and steps closer, jabbing a finger in Louis’ direction. "Don’t you dare go out there and tell him he can’t sleep in that tent. Because let me remind you, I bought that tent. And if I say my son is going to sleep in that tent, then by God, he’s sleeping in that tent!"

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The next morning, Phoebe sits across from Claire, her orange juice untouched as she surveys the room. Almost everyone is at the table, except for Junior. Her siblings seem unusually casual, and while some are too young to notice, Phoebe can’t shake the feeling that Eileen might know more than she’s letting on.

"This is weird," Phoebe mutters, breaking the silence.

"What’s weird?" Claire asks, glancing up.

"No Junior," Phoebe replies skeptically.

Claire frowns as if only just realizing it. "Yeah… it is weird. I don’t even like him, and I miss him."

Louis strides into the dining room and takes his seat, loudly tapping his fork against an empty plate. The clinking draws everyone’s attention. "I have an announcement," he declares. "The child formerly known as Junior no longer exists. He has been eliminated from the family."

Harry turns sharply from the stove, planting his hands on his hips with a disapproving glare. Eileen glances at him nervously before quickly turning her attention back to her plate under his stern gaze.

"This should serve as a lesson to all of you," Louis continues, his tone grim. "No one is indispensable."

Avery's face falls. "Even me?"

"Especially you," Louis says, then adds with mock warmth, "But as long as you stay in line, you’ll always have a roof over your head, warm food in your tummy, and the occasional pat on your head." He leans over and gently pats Faith’s head, causing her to squirm in her high chair. "Feel that? That’s the love of an obedient child."

He gestures to Junior’s empty chair, rocking it slightly. "And this? This is the emptiness of disobedience. So let this be clear: no one should ever have sex."

Adeline tilts her head. "What’s sex?"

"Excellent question. Keep it that way," Louis replies, giving her a quick pat on the head. He straightens up and continues, "As for Junior, I want you all to forget about him. He’s like a fairy tale character—someone who never existed."

"Like Tinkerbell?" Audrey asks.

"Exactly!" Louis says, feigning enthusiasm.

"Maybe if we clap, Junior will come back," Dakota suggests.

"Great idea," Louis says, clapping along with the younger kids for a moment before abruptly stopping. "Nope. Doesn’t work. You can clap, stomp your feet, or say Beetlejuice three times, but Junior isn’t coming back."

Harry quietly approaches the table, setting plates down in front of the children. When he reaches Louis, he notices the man’s plate is still empty. Louis bats his lashes and says, "May I have a pancake, please?"

Harry raises a brow. "Maybe if I clap, one will appear," he says dryly, clapping twice before deadpanning, "Nope."

Across the table, Alice sighs. "Look, I don’t mind that Junior’s gone. I’m just wondering why this hasn’t resulted in more attention for me."

"You need more attention?" Louis asks, gesturing for her to sit beside him.

When she does, he begins patting her forehead. "There. Does that help?"

Alice stares at him, confused. "Uh, thanks, Dad." She tucks a curl behind her ear and sighs. "But seriously, I have to take the PSAT today looking like the before picture in an acne commercial. These hives are ridiculous."

"Relax, Alice. By noon, you’ll be done with the test, your face will clear up, and the world will go back to normal," Louis assures her.

"Will Junior be back?" Avery asks softly.

"Come again? Who..?" Louis replies with exaggerated confusion.

Avery shakes his head. "Never mind."

"Very good. Keep it that way," Louis says, nodding approvingly.

Alice rises from her chair with a resigned sigh. "Fine, I’m off to take this test. Is it okay if I say goodbye to Mr. Nobody before I go?"

"It is perfectly okay to say goodbye to nobody who exists, " Louis replies. "As long as nobody stays nonexistent in this house."

Shaking her head, Alice heads out. "Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. Bye, everyone."

Louis leans back in his chair with a satisfied smile. "I sure do love my children. Maybe in some alternate universe, we’ll have an older son."

Harry freezes mid-step, his jaw tightening. He raises an eyebrow at Louis before abruptly grabbing him by the arm and guiding him into the living room. Shoving the door closed behind them, Harry hisses, "How long are you planning to keep this up, Louis?"

Louis smirks. "I don’t know. How long are you planning to keep this up, Harry?"

"Until our son is back under this roof," Harry snaps.

Spinning on his heels, he storms off toward the stairs, leaving Louis standing alone, his smirk fading slightly.

Louis purses his lips and turns to head back to the dining room, stopping as Harry calls out, “And don’t you even think about touching my pancakes!”

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Later, Louis is on the floor fiddling with the DVD player when Harry appears in the doorway, arms crossed, a stern look on his face. Even irritated, he looks gorgeous. His boyshorts ride up just enough to show the rose tattoo on his pale thigh, and his spaghetti-strap tank clings to him, his nipples visibly poking through. Pregnancy has been making Harry’s chest fuller, and Louis can’t help but—

He shakes his head, chastising himself. Focus, Louis. They’re mad at each other; this is no time for ogling.

“What exactly is going on in here?” Harry asks, his tone laced with suspicion.

Louis straightens up, brushing his hands off as he grins smugly. “Oh, didn’t I tell you? I’m transforming this room into Louis’ World.”

The room, formerly Junior’s, is now a chaotic collection of boxes, an unwrapped couch, and various items Louis has impulsively added to his Amazon cart.

“Louis’ World?” Harry repeats, raising an eyebrow.

“Exactly,” Louis affirms, his grin widening. “A sanctuary for manly pursuits. Cigars, drinking, and scratching.” He gestures toward his crotch for emphasis.

Harry exhales heavily, visibly unimpressed. “Is that so?”

“It is,” Louis replies with conviction.

“Has it ever crossed your mind,” Harry begins, voice tight with irritation, “that I might want a room of my own? Maybe a Harry’s World?”

Louis shrugs nonchalantly. “Easy. Pick a kid and toss ‘em out.”

Harry’s jaw tightens, his eyes narrowing. “You want to escalate this argument? Fine. Build your little Louis’ World, but you can live in it permanently.”

“Live in it?” Louis counters, feigning offense. “I’ll thrive in it.”

Harry mutters under his breath, rolling his eyes as he stalks out of the room. “Keep telling yourself that, Louis.”

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry is in the kitchen, pouring himself a calming cup of tea when a knock interrupts his thoughts. He sighs, sets the teapot down, and heads to the door. Opening it, he finds Summer standing there.

Hand on his hip, Harry raises an unimpressed brow. “Yes?”

Summer shifts nervously, her hands clasped in front of her. “I know I’m the last person you want to see right now—”

“You got that right,” Harry mutters, cutting her off.

“And I know you probably think I’m just some hussy,” she continues, her voice earnest. “But the truth is, I’m in love with your son. I want to talk to you, honestly, on a personal level.”

Harry stares her down, poking his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he weighs her words. After a moment, he straightens up and opens the door wider, allowing her inside. Summer hesitantly steps in and sits at the dining table, her fingers fidgeting anxiously.

Taking a seat across from her, Harry watches as she sighs and begins, “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. It started out innocent, I swear.”

Harry raises a skeptical eyebrow, prompting Summer to quickly shake her head. “I’m not trying to sweet-talk you. It’s just…you raised an amazing son. He’s so special, and he sees the world in this beautifully unique way,” she trails off, biting her lip. “Have you ever seen his Mr. Tee-Pee comic on toilet paper?”

“Seen it? I use it,” Harry quips dryly, settling into his chair. He intertwines his fingers on the table and exhales. “Look, I get how you feel about Junior. But the truth is, he’s in a lot of trouble right now. My son is living in a tent, Summer.”

“I feel awful,” Summer murmurs. “I know what we did was wrong.”

“Yes, it was,” Harry agrees firmly. He softens slightly, sighing. “And I said things in anger I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry for the name-calling.”

Summer nods solemnly. “I understand,” she replies quietly before hesitating. “Could I talk to Junior?”

Harry shakes his head. “Oh, Summer, I think it’s best for you two to stay apart for a while.”

Her brows knit in concern. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, stay out of his tent,” Harry replies meaningfully.

Summer presses her lips together, nodding reluctantly.

Later, Harry strides into Junior’s old room, now occupied by Louis. He stops in front of him, arms crossed. “I talked to Summer.”

“And?” Louis asks, munching on a Cheeto—his consolation since Harry had refused to cook for him.

“We’ve got a problem,” Harry says gravely.

“What kind of problem?” Louis questions, despite the serious look on Harry’s face.

“The girl’s in love. And not just puppy love. I’m talking full-blown, big-time love.”

"They made some of that love right in our bed.”

Harry throws his hands up. “Can we focus on what they did rather than where they did it? Let me remind you, we’ve done it too. In Junior’s bed, his car, and that tent he’s calling home.”

Louis grins smugly, reminiscing. “We sure did. Good times.”

Harry groans, exasperated. “Junior did something incredibly stupid, and yes, he deserves consequences. But not this much.”

Louis shrugs nonchalantly. “Mothers. Always defending their kids. I bet Jeffrey Dahmer’s mom still says, ‘Well, the baby was just hungry.’”

Harry glares at him, a humorless smile on his face. “I’m right, and you know it. If you keep this up, you’re going to drive him away for good. Is that what you want?”

With that, Harry turns and stomps away, leaving Louis to mull it over. 

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Louis rummages through the freezer, searching for something to toss into the microwave since Harry insists on letting him fend for himself. He pulls out a box of taquitos just as Junior’s head pops through the doggy door.

“Dad, can I talk to you?” Junior asks, peering inside.

Louis glances at him, slapping his thigh as if to say there’s no escaping this conversation. “Go ahead.”

“…Can I come in?” Junior ventures.

“Uh, no,” Louis replies flatly.

Junior presses his lips together. “…Okay. Well, I’ve been doing some thinking, and honestly, your stance on what happened between Summer and me feels a little… hypocritical.”

Louis nods, pointing at him with the box of taquitos. “You’re absolutely right.”

"And therefore I—" Junior pauses, realizing that Louis had agreed. “Did you just say I was right?”

Louis nods again. “Yep.”

“Oh…” Junior falters, clearly unprepared for this. “That’s pretty much all I had.”

“Great. You have a good life, then. Nice chat,” Louis says, already turning back toward the kitchen.

Junior sighs and starts crawling back out, the doggy door swinging shut behind him. Louis rolls his eyes, pulling the door open again and calling after him. “Come back here. I’m not done.”

Junior hesitates but complies, sitting on the small couch as Louis motions for him. Louis steps in front of him, arms crossed.

“Here’s my concern,” Louis starts, more serious now. “My fear is that you’re so blinded by love, you’re gonna end up getting this girl pregnant, feel guilty about it, and then marry her.”

Junior meets his gaze. “Dad, I don’t care what the odds are. If you’re making me choose between living here or being with Summer, I’m choosing Summer.”

Louis nods thoughtfully. “You know, I respect that. Because I know what it’s like to love someone that much.”

Junior leans forward, hopeful. “Then what’s the problem?”

“The problem is you crossed a line! And that line surrounds the edges of my bed,” Louis says, exasperated.

“I know, and I apologized! Haven’t you ever just gotten caught up in the moment?” Junior protests.

Louis chuckles. “Yeah, a couple of times. One time in the tent with your mom-—”

“Eugh!” Junior groans, recoiling.

“Good times. Good stuff,” Louis quips, before sobering. “But here’s the thing: I’ve thought about this a lot. Throwing you out isn’t going to fix anything.”

Junior tilts his head, curious. “So what do you want?”

“I want us to go back to being a happy family,” Louis says earnestly.

Junior softens, his voice is almost shy. “Does that mean I can come back inside?”

Louis pauses for effect, then nods. “Yeah, but you’re still going to face some consequences.”

“I get it,” Junior says, standing up and meeting his dad’s eyes. “I just want you to know I’m really, really sorry for disrespecting you.”

Louis studies him for a moment before letting out a sigh. “Apology accepted.” He pats Junior’s forehead and opens his arms for a hug.

Junior steps into the embrace, smiling. “I'm gonna go to my room now.”

Louis’ expression shifts, and he quickly follows after. “Let me come with you.”

Junior pushes open his bedroom door, eyes going wide at the sight inside.

“What do you think?” Louis asks, gesturing proudly.

“Wow! I should get punished more often!” Junior exclaims, staring at the upgrades.

Louis grins, showing off a pinball machine in the corner. “And look at this!”

“This is amazing! I love my new room!” Junior says in awe.

Louis shakes his head, his grin turning rogue. “Oh no, this isn’t your room anymore.”

Junior’s excitement vanishes. “Wait… what?”

“This isn’t your room anymore,” Louis repeats, grinning.

“Then… where’s my room?” Junior stammers, his confusion growing.

Louis lets out a chuckle, one that borders on evil.

Junior’s new room ends up being in the garage. Louis, still feeling the need to teach his son a lesson, decides there isn’t enough time to renovate with a baby on the way. Now, Junior spends his nights waking up to the glare of headlights whenever Louis returns from late shifts.

Shielding his eyes from the blinding lights, Junior watches his dad step out of the car. “Goodnight, Dad.”

“Goodnight, son,” Louis replies cheerfully.

Junior sighs, fluffing his pillow as he settles back down. 

Chapter Text

It had started out as a perfectly normal weekend. Harry was supposed to take the twins to Tumble Tots, leaving Eileen in charge at home. He knew the little ones had been a bit wild lately and had hoped they wouldn't give their big sister too much trouble—but of course, they didn't hesitate to make it his problem instead.

He was just pulling on his cardigan, keys in hand, when a scream echoed from upstairs. Without thinking, he bolted toward the sound—only to trip over that stupid box he'd told Junior to move three separate times. He landed hard, right on his knee.

The pain was blinding.

He lay on the stairs, trembling and clutching his leg, barely able to breathe. The kids were panicking, rightfully so, until Phoebe had the presence of mind to call Louis. While she ran to grab the phone, Harry insisted someone call an ambulance. He lay there, teeth clenched, sweat beading down his temple, until help arrived. Louis showed up at the same time as the paramedics, a complete wreck. He rode in the ambulance, tears in his eyes, whispering that everything would be okay while Harry cried right along with him.

Harry ended up needing surgery for a knee fracture. The doctors had to put him under, and he'd been out for hours. Louis had barely left his side, glued to the uncomfortable hospital chair with nothing but an emotional support soda and mounting anxiety to keep him company.

Finally, Harry lets out a low groan. At first, Louis thinks it's just a dream, Harry's eyes are still shut, but then comes a rough, strained voice.

"Lou."

Louis jumps up from his chair, immediately taking Harry's hand in both of his. "I'm here, baby. I'm right here."

"Lou," Harry whimpers again, voice cracking. "It hurts."

Louis's heart twists. He gently brushes his fingers against Harry's cheek. "What hurts, sweetheart?"

"Everywhere!"

Louis leans closer, nodding quickly. "Okay, okay, shhh," he murmurs, trying to soothe him. "I'll get the nurse."

He glances toward the curtain, pulling it back to see if anyone was passing by. "Nurse?" he calls loudly, craning his neck.

From the bed, Harry groans again, irritated. "Not in my ear! You're gonna give me a migraine!"

Louis winces, biting back a laugh. "Sorry, love."

He has to admit—Harry looks a little ridiculous. His eyes are still closed, but his eyebrows are furrowed in this comically sour expression, like someone just spit in his drink. His lower lip is jutted out in a dramatic pout, absolutely built for whining. And Louis can't blame him. After everything, especially being pregnant on top of it all, Harry must feel miserable.

It takes a moment, but the nurse finally arrives. She's a redhead with warm hazel eyes and a gentle smile. As she walks over, her badge jingles softly with each step. She stops beside Harry's bed and leans slightly toward him. "Harry?" she says kindly.

Harry lets out a groan, his head rolling against the pillows.

"I'm Jade, your nurse. I'll be taking care of you today. Can you rate your pain on a scale from one to ten, so I know what kind of medication you need?"

"It's an eight," Harry replies bluntly, the edge in his voice sharper than necessary.

Jade nods. "Alright, I'll get you something for that."

"You do that," Harry mutters, turning his face into the pillows like he's done with the conversation.

Louis gives the nurse an apologetic smile as she walks away, then turns his attention back to Harry. He gently brushes the man's curls back from his forehead, occasionally scratching his scalp the way Harry likes, hoping it brings him some comfort.

He thinks Harry's dozed off until Jade returns, a syringe in hand. As she administers the pain medication, Harry lets out a few shaky breaths through his nose, still clearly uncomfortable—something he reminds them of every few seconds with quiet complaints.

"I know," Jade soothes, "I just gave you something that should help soon. I'm gonna ask you a few quick questions, okay?"

"What...ever..." Harry mumbles, voice thick with grogginess.

Jade's lips twitch in amusement. "Can you open your eyes for me?"

There's silence. Harry keeps his eyes stubbornly closed. Louis calls his name gently, prompting a small grumble. Jade repeats the question patiently.

"Can you open yours?" Harry snarks in return.

"I have a couple more questions for you," Jade says with a smile.

"Then don't ask," he fires back.

Jade lets out a soft laugh. "I have to. It's just to check your neurofunction." She keeps her voice gentle as she continues, "Can you tell me where you are right now?"

Harry frowns like the question personally offends him. "America."

Jade chuckles again. "Okay, what building are we in?"

Harry doesn't answer right away. When he finally does, it's with a sarcastic tone: "The same one you're in."

Jade smiles through it. "Can you tell me what it's called?"

"The hospital. Duh."

She follows with a question about the year. Harry delays as long as possible, dodging and deflecting, until he finally mutters, "2025."

As she finishes up and walks away, Harry grumbles under his breath, "Bitch."

Louis chuckles. "Baby, she's just doing her job."

"Well, she doesn't need to ask me a million questions," Harry slurs, smacking his lips. "I'm tired."

"You can go to sleep," Louis says gently.

"I was going to," Harry snaps.

Louis suppresses another laugh, lips twitching with amusement. "Alright. Sleep well."

"Why wouldn't I?" Harry mumbles, already halfway back into dreamland.

Louis just shakes his head fondly, rubbing Harry's hand.

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry stays asleep for a solid minute, long enough for Louis to quietly step out of the room. He uses the time to call his job and request the rest of the week off. He also checks in at home, where Eileen assures him the kids are doing fine—just a little worried about their mom. Louis comforts them as best as he can, leaving out Harry's irritable mood. He figures it'll wear off once the anesthesia fades.

"Lou!" Harry suddenly cries from behind the curtain.

Louis mutters a quick curse, slipping his phone into his pocket as he hurries back into the room. "Yeah, baby?"

"What is this?" Harry whines, tugging at his nasal cannula in confusion.

Louis quickly intercepts his hand, gently guiding it away. "It's to help you breathe, sweetheart. Do you want me to take it off?"

"Take it off!" Harry demands.

Louis isn't sure if he's allowed to do that, so he calls out for the nurse again. While they wait, Harry sobs in frustration, fingers curling into his already tousled hair. He's clearly overstimulated, and Louis does his best to soothe him through it.

Jade arrives with her cart, parking it at the side before walking over. She gently removes the cannula from Harry's nose. Harry flinches slightly even with his eyes still closed, somehow managing to talk to her anyway.

"Who are you?" he asks.

"I'm your nurse," Jade replies kindly.

"Oh. Okay," Harry says, settling back into the bed.

"Do you want an extra blanket?" she offers.

"Did I ask for one?"

"No."

"Okay then."

Jade bites back a laugh, placing her hands on her hips as she studies him with quiet amusement. "Alright. Try to rest. I'll swing by again tonight, and we'll see how you're feeling tomorrow."

"Bye," Harry says curtly.

Jade's dimples flash. "Goodnight, Harry."

"Bye," he repeats, just as dry.

Louis fights a smirk. "You were kind of rude, love."

"So? You wanna kiss her ass for her?" Harry snaps.

Louis chuckles. "No thanks."

"Okay then."

"Try and get some sleep."

"Don't tell me what to do," Harry mutters, but he's already fading back into sleep.

A few hours later, Harry is in noticeably less pain. His eyes are finally open—those cool, sea-glass green ones Louis missed so much—but with them comes a fresh layer of attitude. Despite the relief in seeing Harry more alert, Louis quickly realizes that no one is safe from his sharp tongue.

True to her word, Nurse Jade returns, clipboard in hand. She begins her routine check-up, asking Harry how he's feeling. He answers more cooperatively this time, until the topic shifts.

"I saw in your labs that you're pregnant," she says.

"Do I look pregnant?" Harry fires back.

"No."

"Then who told you that?"

"It was listed in your results."

"Oh. Okay."

"Congratulations," she adds with a smile.

Silence.

Louis nudges Harry gently. "Say thank you."

"Why would I say thank you for my pregnancy?" Harry mumbles. "I should say you're welcome. They get money when I give birth."

Jade chuckles. "That's true."

Harry turns his head sharply toward her. "What's funny?"

"Nothing, I apologize," she replies quickly.

Harry hums, fingers dragging through his hair again.

"You're looking a lot better now," Jade continues. "If everything keeps trending this way, you might be able to go home tomorrow. I heard you have a lot of kids?"

Harry's eyes snap toward her. "Who keeps telling you these things?!"

Louis bites his bottom lip to stifle a laugh.

"Your husband," Jade replies, gesturing toward Louis.

Louis playfully narrows his eyes at her, and Harry turns his glare on him instead. "Stop telling my business."

"Okay, sorry, baby."

"No, you're not," Harry shoots back. "What else did you tell her? That I sleep in lingerie?"

Louis tilts his head back to look at the ceiling, a smile teasing the corner of his lips.

Harry crosses his arms, still fuming, and Jade chuckles quietly before standing up straight.

"Well, it's great to see you doing so well. I'll give you two some time alone. I'll check in again later, but fingers crossed, we might get you home tomorrow."

Harry responds with a grunt, already tuning out again.

 ✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

Harry is nauseous the next morning. The moment he wakes, he groans to Louis that he feels like he's going to throw up, and Louis holds a trash bin under his chin, silently praying he doesn't. Vomiting would only make him crankier.

Fortunately, he doesn't. When Nurse Jade stops by, Louis brings up the nausea, and Jade offers him the ginger ale Harry had previously requested. But by the time she's got it ready, Harry's no longer interested.

"You should still take a sip," Louis suggests gently.

"I don't want it," Harry mumbles.

"Harry," Louis warns.

Harry lets out a dramatic huff, lip jutting like a pouty child.

"You only need to take a sip," Jade adds encouragingly.

Harry reluctantly opens his mouth, lips closing around the straw for less than a second before he pulls back. "You said a sip."

"I did," Jade replies with a grin. She sets the can on the table and walks over to her cart to update something on her laptop. "We're going to try and get you a bit more alert so we can talk about going home."

"No," Harry says flatly.

"No? You don't want to go home?"

Harry shakes his head. "No."

"Alright. No home," Jade replies lightly.

Harry shifts under the blanket. "Can I have some food? I'm hungry."

"Sure! Do you have a request?"

"I want Oreos."

"That's not food, love," Louis chimes in, surprising even himself. Who would've thought he'd be the voice of reason? Then again, he's dealing with a pregnant husband on pain meds. Everything is a little flipped upside down.

"Are you the food police?" Harry snips.

Jade stifles a laugh. "Okay. I'll give you Oreos, but next time you're hungry, you've gotta eat something real, alright?"

"Okay."

✧˖°🌷𔘓‎ ָ࣪ ₊˚

The next morning, Jade arrives with a doctor in tow. Harry squints at the man with immediate suspicion. "Who are you?"

"I'm Dr. Walter," he answers, calm and used to this routine. "Just here to check that you're ready to be discharged."

Harry sighs like it's the biggest inconvenience in the world. "Okay."

The doctor walks over, and Harry's eyes trail after him like a hawk. Dr. Walter begins checking responsiveness, squeezing Harry's arms and legs. Harry answers everything correctly, though he does it with a scowl.

Once he's done, Jade steps in to remove his IV drip and pulse oximeter. Harry sighs in contentment, like the removal of the tubes has solved all his problems. While Jade leans in to remove the arm pump, Harry reaches for the lanyard hanging from her neck, idly playing with the trinkets.

"Do you want anything to eat?" she asks gently.

Instead of answering, Harry leans forward and hugs her.

Jade hugs him back, exchanging an amused glance with Louis over Harry's shoulder. "Okay," she says softly, "I'm going to put the side rail down so you can start getting dressed."

She presses the button to lower the bed and gives Harry's shoulder a gentle pat before stepping out of the room.

Louis rubs his palms together. "Alright, love. Let's get this started."

Harry glares at him in silence.

Getting him out of bed proves to be a challenge. Harry flops against Louis like dead weight, refusing to engage a single muscle.

"Come on, sweetheart. Just try to stand."

"No," Harry mutters, face buried into Louis' neck. His voice is soft, muffled, and completely unbothered.

Louis nearly loses his balance with Harry's full weight leaning on him. "Baby, we talked about this. You have to try. Just enough to get into your chair. I'll do the rest."

Eventually, with a great deal of huffing and fussing, Louis helps Harry into the chair. From there, they manage to get him dressed in the soft hoodie and sweatpants Louis packed from home.

The ride home is quiet. Harry dozes in the passenger seat, one hand on his belly, the other clutching a half-eaten Oreo from the box Louis let him take from the hospital.

Louis, worried about how the kids might overwhelm Harry, sends Eileen a quick text to ask them to keep things a little calmer when they get home. As much as Harry adores their little ones, his patience might be thinner than usual while he recovers, and it's best they tread lightly.

When they pull into the driveway, Eileen's already outside with the twins. Faith runs ahead, Allison right behind her, both of them skidding to a halt the moment they spot Harry stepping out of the car on crutches.

"Careful!" Louis calls instinctively.

But Harry opens his arms anyway, smiling softly. "Come here, babies."

They swarm him without hesitation, arms wrapping around his legs, heads leaning against his knees. Harry doesn't cry, but there's a soft sheen to his eyes as he runs his fingers through Faith's hair, brushing it away from her face with trembling tenderness.

The family shuffles into the house. Harry carefully lowers himself onto the couch, crutches resting beside him, the kids immediately curling into the spaces around him like magnets.

Avery toddles over proudly, holding up a drawing he made while Harry was gone, something less demonic-looking, and more colorful and sweet.

Harry beams, tugging him gently onto his lap. Avery giggles as he settles in.

"Thank you so much, honey," Harry says, pressing a kiss to his temple.

"You're welcome," Avery murmurs. "I'm sorry you hurted yourself."

Harry's smile grows even softer. "It's okay, lovebug. I'm gonna be okay."