Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

So. Two straight lines. Shit.

Really? Today? Out of all the days, she just had to find out today?

Well, maybe it’s her fault. She’s been having nausea for a week now, to the extent of impulsively buying two or three pregnancy tests yesterday evening. Now she wished she hadn’t done that.

All are laid in front of her, all showing the same two lines. Showing the same proof of life.

But she can't wallow now. It’s her mother’s big day, she can just tell her tomorrow, or the day after that,

Or maybe not until her belly became so obviously swollen.

Just, not now. It’s Lorelai Gilmore’s (second) wedding day, goddamnit! And she’s the maid of honor. She needs to clean up and exits the bathroom with a faux smile on her face, ready for the big day. And she is ready.

To become a mother?

She gulps.

***

"I’m pregnant"

Lorelai opens her mouth, gaping, a ghost of a gasp waiting to be released, but nothing comes out. She’s frozen and wide-eyed, and Rory curses herself over and over. Her stupid brain and her stupid mouth—how can they betray her like that? Her lips tighten as she watches her mom recover from the shock, but she still hasn't said a thing. 

"Mom?" Rory tries.

She’s still frozen.

"Mom, please say something. I know I messed up, and I’m sorry, okay? I’m really sorry, and, ugh, I’m so stupid! Stupid for ruining your big day like this, just because these goddamn pregnancy hormones can't keep their mouth shut for two seconds! And, I’m scared, Mom. I’m so scared. I’m not ready for this. What if I’m going to be a bad mom? A bad parent? Heck, I can't even maintain a serious relationship after all these years, and now a baby? How am I supposed to do this? Mom, please say something. Yell at me, be mad at me, or whatever, just talk to me. I really need your voice right now, I can’t- I can’t do this alone, Mom. I’m really sorry…"

She sniffles a sob, hugging herself tight. Now it’s her eyes that betray her, once the tears become too much to bear, too much to hold.  

Lorelai stared into the distance from the gazebo, her chest heaving. Her breathing was a bit ragged, but that was understandable. 

"I’m gonna be a grandmother," she whispers, and Rory snaps her head to face her mom. 

"Gosh, Rory, I’m gonna be a grandmother. Wow, I hate to admit this kid, but your dear mother is getting old." She finally faced her daughter, a watery smile on her face, as she finally wrapped her arms around her safely. 

Rory immediately breaks down, feeling all the pressure pouring out of her. She sobbed on her mother's shoulder, and Lorelai patted her head softly.

"Oh, baby, it’s okay. You’re okay, and you’re not alone, alright? Not a chance. You have me, and Luke, and this whole wacky town. You’re not alone, and you’re gonna be okay," She says to Rory’s hair.

She nods there, tears still streaming a little bit, but she’s not sobbing anymore. Lorelai finally draws back, her eyes searching Rory’s.

"Anyone I know?" A silent question there. The father?  

She sniffles again, shrugging helplessly. "Logan," she finally says, breathless. 

Lorelai throws her a sympathetic smile. "Aw, kid. Come here," she opens her arms again, which Rory gladly nestled herself around once more. 

"It’s okay. We’ll figure it out together," she says definitely. Rory really wished that she’s right.

But there, in her mother’s embrace, she calms down a little. She let herself believe, for the first time since she found out about the baby, that she'd be fine. She’s not alone in this. She let herself breathe again. 

"Yeah, we’ll figure it out."

***

The town is beautiful under the orange sky. The sun was setting in the west, with winds blowing through the series of string lights hung from the gazebo to the street lamps. The bride and groom of the day are on the dancefloor, gazing lovingly at each other as they sway to the songs selected by none other than Lane Kim. Everyone is happy, celebrating a day that has been a long time coming.

Down on the gazebo stair, there sat Rory Gilmore with an empty cup in her hands. She had thrown the liquid to the ground when no one was looking, acting as if she had finished it all, and politely declined when she was offered a new cup. She watched her mom and Luke still dancing, grinning at each other like a couple of teenagers. She let out a smile too, glad that at least her mom had found her forever.

"They finally got here, huh?" A familiar voice comes from beside her, and she smiles in recognition. 

Jess had been in town for the whole week, helping Luke with everything in the wedding preparation. ‘Just doing my best man duty’, he had said, one day when she came into the diner and found Jess behind the counter instead. She enjoys his presence, and she’s so goddamn proud of him too. It’s not every day Jess Mariano comes willingly to Stars Hollow, and his simply being here now is another proof of how far he's come.

She tilts her head up to face him and smiles. He looked good. He’s wearing his one and only suit for this occasion, scruff shaved, and he even cut his hair earlier. He looked so much more boyish, younger. 

Like when they were seventeen and in love. Whoa. That thought came out of nowhere.

She pats the empty spot beside her, and he accepts the invitation. He slumps down, straightening his legs after a long day of standing.

"Your speech was amazing. I could've sworn I saw Luke rub his eye at one point," She grins. "Didn't know you loved us so much," she teases, playfully nudging his shoulders.

He scoffs, nudging her knees at the motion. "Yeah yeah, glad you like it,"

"I love it," she counters. "You, Jess Mariano, are turning into a big softie."

He groans. "Shut up, you’re not much better."

"But I am a softie! I embrace my softie-ness, unlike some people I know…" She finished that sentence with a tone of wonder.

He rolls his eyes but smiles nonetheless. "They deserve it, Luke deserves it. It’s good that they are finally together and happy," he says, facing the still-dancing couple.

"They are," she agrees easily, sighing in contentment.

He stands up, brushes his hands against his pants, and offers his hand to her.

"Come on, Gilmore. I owe you prom. Besides, it’s tradition for the best man and maid of honor, isn't it?" He bends down, smiling softly.

“Well, well, well, who am I to refuse such an offer?" She grins back and takes his hands before basically dragging him out to the dance floor.

‘Now And Forever’ is playing when they reach the floor. They stayed away from the middle though, that part was solely for the groom and bride. Besides, the fewer eyes on them, the better.

He puts his hands on her hips as she circles her arms around his neck. Good thing their height difference isn't that far away. At first, they keep their eyes on their feet, cautious of stepping on each other's feet. She mumbles a ‘sorry’ when she actually does step on his toe at one point.

But when they finally found their rhythm, they were comfortable enough to look into each other's eyes. The silence isn't awkward. Silence was always welcomed between them, good to know that hasn't changed.

I lose my way, but still you

Seem to understand

Now and forever

I will be your man

"So," Rory finally says, breaking the silence between them.

Jess raised his eyebrows a little, encouraging her to go on.

"I’ve been thinking about what you said," She prompts.

"What I said, about...?"

"The book," She finishes, eyes on the ground for a split second before facing his eyes again.

"Oh," he breathes. She can almost feel it on her nose. "And what about it?" he asks again.

"I’ve decided to do it," She finally said after a long silence.

Jess’s eyebrows shot up, but then he smiled. "Well, that’s good.” He averts his eyes to the sky before returning them to her.

“You’re one of a kind, Gilmore. The world would love to hear your story." He puts his right arm down to wipe it on his pants for a minute. It’s weird that she suddenly feels cold, and it’s even weirder that she’s very happy when he returns his arms to her hips. She’s just cold, and his warmth is decent. That’s all. 

"Of course, that is if you’re really sure. You don't have to do it just because I said so, Rory," He continues. 

"Well duh. I won't do it if my heart’s not in it," She confirms. He just nods.

Now, I can rest my worries

And always be sure

That I won't be alone, anymore

If I'd only known you were there

All the time

All this time!

"But, you know, I really feel like I can do this. Like, it’s my calling now. I’ve spent so many months without direction on what to do, and I need to feel like I’m doing something! Then… you planted that idea in my head, and I just can't seem to get it off. The first three chapters I showed you were just a demo of me seeing if I could actually do it, to write my own life in pages. And well, it turns out I can."

"You don't need to explain yourself, Rory. I believe in you, of course you can," he reaffirms.

"Thank you," she whispers. "It’s good that my mom approves too now. So that's one obstacle out of the way,"

He nods again, still leading their dance. She strengthened her hands around his neck, breathing in his scent. He smells good—of old books and ink and aftershave, of sandalwood and leather. 

"She would want the best for you, to see you happy. This book makes you happy, so sooner or later, she will relent," he eyed his uncle and Lorelai, now closer than ever, whispering things in each other's ears. He'd rather not know what those words are.

She nods, and after a while, he continues. "Me too, you know,"

She looks up at him, her eyes sincere. "I know," she smiles. He reciprocates, before clearing his throat and letting his eyes fall to their feet again. The moment’s over in a flash.

Is it a moment? Her head asks, but she shakes the voice away.

Instead, she jokes, "Wow, Jess Mariano is praising Lorelai Gilmore. Look how far we’ve come," She sneers.

He just pursed his lips and gave her an unimpressed look, which made her laugh.

"So, how long would you be in town?" She finds herself asking, not wanting to fill the rest of the dance with silence.

"Well, I offer Luke to take care of the diner while he’s away-"

"Aww, that’s nice of you."

He shakes his head but smiles all the same.

"So…" He continues. "Maybe I’ll be here for another week or so. I’ve talked to Matt and Chris, and they’ll send my workload through email. I’m all set to be here," he finishes with a shrug.

Her smile widens. "That’s cool. I get to see you in the diner action again after all these years."

"Expect nothing but free coffee from me, Gilmore," he smirks.

Her mind went blank. Coffee, caffeine, pregnancy, her baby. She swallows hard, and it makes Jess squint.

"Rory? You okay there?" He prompts softly and leans in a little to take a better look at her face.

At the newfound proximity, she shakes her head and snaps up to face him, smiling sweetly. "Who, me? Yep, I’m fine. The finest, a-okay." Her eyes are cheery, determined to convince him she’s okay.

That same unimpressed look took over his face again. He cocks her head to the side, clearly not believing her.

"Really, Gilmore? You’re the worst liar I’ve ever met," He scoffs.

In return, Rory hit him playfully on the chest. "Har har, Mariano. Very funny." She rolls her eyes.

Jess smirks, but then his expression turns serious once again.

"Come on, Rory. You could never fool me. Something’s bothering you, and I wanna know if you're okay." He’s gazing at her, and she melts a little. 

She puts one hand on his chest, just above his heart, and sighs. No, not now. She has to steady herself. She’s having a good time, and ruining it will be the worst possible outcome to this thing they've got going on. She can feel his heart beating steadily under her hand, and she looks up to see a worried face, a waiting face.

So she smiles.

"No, really, Jess. I’m fine. There’s nothing to worry about. So, let’s just enjoy tonight and stop worrying about me, okay?" She wraps her arm around his neck again, and he relaxes. His brows find themselves back in their right place. He sighs in defeat but eventually concedes.

"Fine, you’re off the hook for now. Don't think this conversation is over, though," He shoots her a pointed look.

She giggles, "I expect nothing less."

He grins again, before fucking twirling her around the dance floor. She yelps in surprise, protesting and screaming his name playfully. Good thing she secures herself afterward, falling soundly to Jess’s body to steady herself after the spin. They made eye contact long enough before they separated themselves again for a fit of laughter. Yeah, it is a good night, and she will enjoy this as long as it lasts. She gets the feeling that she won't be happy when it actually ends, though.

Until the day the ocean

Doesn't touch the sand

Now and forever

I will be your man

Now and forever

I will be your man

Chapter Text

She exits the hospital alone, clutching an ultrasound photo so tightly. There it is, a confirmation. Three weeks along, plenty of time remains. Still a dot, or a blob, really. But they’re real. They’re here, and it all becomes much more frightening for her. She’s doing this, she's not backing out now. Weirdly, she finds herself wanting to do this. Huh, perhaps motherhood does come early.

She enters her car and starts to drive back home. Luke and Lorelai are leaving this afternoon for their honeymoon. Sookie planned their trip, so it’s safe to say it will be simply amazing and indulgent for both parties. She grimaced at the word ‘indulging’. Ugh, no need for anything visual there. 

She arrived at the crap shack probably two hours before they were leaving. She parks outside and enters the house. She was immediately faced by Lorelai and Luke, who were having a convo on the kitchen counter.

"Hey, kid!" Lorelai waves. She knows where Rory’s been this morning, but neither woman has told Luke yet. Rory strides down the kitchen island before plopping herself beside Lorelai. Out of habit, Luke grabs the coffee mug and pours a cup in front of her, offering it.

“Here, kid, drink up," he gestures.

Shit. This cup of coffee is definitely not decaf. She can't drink this. But oh, that scent . She can never resist that scent.

You have to, for the baby. The voices inside her head came back. So, she simply shook her head and pressed her lips together, shrugging a ‘no thank you’. 

Luke’s eyebrows shot up. "Rory, you okay?" He suddenly asks

She lets out her best acting skills to be seemingly confused. "Of course, Luke. Why would I not be okay?"

He grumbles, searching for the right way to put it. "It’s just, you've never declined fresh coffee before. I know I should be happy if you decided to cut off some of your caffeine, but now it’s more concerning when you refuse it altogether."

Lorelai turns to face her, a question on her face. Under the counter, Rory squeezes Lorelai’s hand, trying to send her a message.

Not now, I got this. The message reads. And it was delivered too. Lorelai nods and turns her body to face Luke again, who is eyeing the two women in front of him suspiciously.

Rory smiles at him, "Really, Luke, I’m okay. I already had a cup on my trip to Hartford. Even I know my limits. I’m okay, Luke, trust me." She hated lying, especially to her loved ones. But this one’s necessary. She will tell him eventually, preferably after the honeymoon. Luke sometimes worries about her too much, which she loves and appreciates, of course. But now, she’s afraid that if she tells him she’s pregnant, he will cancel the trip altogether. Rory can't let that happen.

Luke squints his eyes, trying to examine Rory’s face, and she’s washed by a sense of deja vu. She chuckled to herself, remembering the same gesture Jess had made last night on the dance floor. It’s creepy how similar an uncle and his nephew could be.

But Luke couldn’t read her as well as Jess could, so he let go pretty easily. He drops his shoulder and backtracks, starting to work on the packed lunch for Lorelai and him.

"Yes, more for me!" Lorelai suddenly shouts triumphantly, snatching the cup with impressive skill and speed. Not a single drop falls out of that cup when she starts to sip her third (or fourth?) cup of the day. Luke rolls his eyes at the sight, yet with a fond smile on his face. Rory giggles, her hand absentmindedly going through her purse, once again clutching the ultrasound photo.

"So how will you guys get to the airport?" Rory prompts, filling in the silence.

"All the luggage will be shoved into the back of the truck. Jess will drive us and drop us off at the airport. That way, he can bring the truck back to the diner," Luke explains, eyes on the ham sandwich he’s wrapping.

"Bahamas, Baby!" Lorelai squeals, finally spilling some coffee on the counter. Luke, who somehow has a cloth on his shoulder despite not being in the diner, cleans it up immediately.

"Where is Jess, by the way?" Rory asks Luke, looking around the house as if he will appear out of nowhere.

"Diner. He’s helping Caesar first before heading here for the airport," Luke shrugs.

"Oh, okay. I’ll be in my room then. I need to continue on with the book." Rory stands, kissing both Luke and Lorelai on the cheek before going to her room.

"Go kick some ass, kid! Or papers!" Lorelai cheers.

She gives her mother two thumbs out before disappearing behind her door. She's got a lot in her head, and she needs to write it all down. Hence, Gilmore Girls.

***

Time is an illusion, Einstein once said, and she couldn’t help but agree now. Two hours pass by so quickly, and she already has the first very rough draft of the official first chapter of her book.

Needs a lot of help and editing, though, she thought. One name crossed her mind.

As if she conjures him from her mind, she hears his voice from the living room. She rushed outside, bringing her laptop with her. She doesn't have the time to print this one, so the digital proof will do.

There he is, chatting with Lorelai (?!) In front of the door, Luke was already stuffing their bags into the truck outside. Rory grins at the sight. Another example of everyone’s growth: Her mother likes Jess now. Well, maybe ‘like’ is a strong word. No longer wanting to strangle each other is more like it. Still, it was amusing to watch.

Rory tiptoes towards them before raising her voice, "Who are you, and what did you do to Lorelai Gilmore and Jess Mariano?" She grins at the look on both of their faces.

“Hey, sweets, I was just going to call you. We've gotta get going now. The fresh ocean breeze is calling my name! Lorelai... Lorelai... Lorelai…" She echoes, slowly lowering her voice to add a dramatic effect. Jess smirks, watching his step-aunt practically skip her steps to her husband.

"Hey," He finally looks over at her, his eyes falling on the laptop in her hands. "The book’s good?" He points a thumb at the device and looks up to be faced by Rory’s wide smile. 

"You bet! Look, the first, literal, actual draft of the first chapter!" She’s so excited, her voice going up an octave at every syllable. She shoves the laptop into his hands, then retracts her hands, waiting in anticipation.

"Impressive. Well, I’m not exactly surprised, though." He winks at her, and she beams.

His eyes went to the pages shown on the screen, scanning the words and sentences, his brain formulating feedback he could give her. Once he'd finished, he handed the laptop back with a satisfactory smile on his face.

"Atta girl, Gilmore. As you said, it is pretty rough, but I can see it has a lot of potential. With the correct editing, this could be the next big thing. I can picture it: ‘Rory Gilmore, the rising star author, shares her life story through her best-selling book, Gilmore Girls." He lifts his chin up, his eyes and hands spreading the air between them as if he’s reading a news headline.

Rory narrows her eyes, raising one eyebrow. Jess held up his hands in surrender. "Hey, a completely professional and unbiased opinion from your publishing house co-owner friend here," His voice is all defensive, but that glint in his eyes cannot fool her. She scoffs.

"Yeah right. See you outside, Jess," and with that, she puts her laptop down on the nearest table and strays past him in the doorway, leaving him there smirking and shaking his head.

Lorelai saw her coming, as she also jumped into Rory’s arms. The mother-daughter duo embraced each other for what felt like forever.

"I’m gonna miss you so much, Mom," Rory mumbles.

"Me too, sweets, me too. Oh, how I can't wait to leave so I can go back here again as fast as I can." Lorelai puts some space between them, then puts their foreheads against one another. She whispers, "You sure you’re gonna be okay? I understand if you don’t want to be left alone, even so since it’s still early since you found out…" She leaves the sentence there. "I can always tell Luke that I have a severe stomach bug and need to be on bed rest immediately," She offers.

In these moments, Rory often wonders what on earth makes her so lucky to have such an amazing mom. She shakes her head, though.

"I can't keep you from having your honeymoon, Mom. Besides, I think Luke is secretly very excited under all those grunts and groans." She grins, eyeing Luke behind her mom, trying to shove one more bag into the trunk with a frustrated look on his face.

"And," she continues, "I’m not alone here, you said it yourself. I’ll have plenty to keep me company." She reassures her, squeezing Lorelai’s shoulder.

Lorelai's eyes went behind Rory, seeing Jess dragging yet another duffel bag filled with her belongings. Luke is gonna hate the sight of that bag, for sure. "Yeah, I can see that." Her tone is wavering, which makes Rory throw her a questioning look. When her mother’s eyes were back on her, though, she got pulled into yet another bone-crushing hug. Lorelai even moves their bodies side to side this time, making Rory laugh.

Luke approaches his girls and smiles softly. "I hate to break the moment, but we really do need to get going." His eyes soften on Lorelai, and he wraps his arms around Rory, then proceeds to lift her from the ground for a moment. Rory grins as she’s put back down, and she kisses Luke on the cheek once again. "I’m gonna miss you, Luke." 

He smiles that rare, full-blown Luke Danes smile. "Gonna miss you too, kid." He kisses the crown of her head. "Jess," he calls his nephew, then claps his hands together.

"Alright, people! As much as I love everyone here-"

"Aww," Rory and Jess interrupt at the same time.

"Shut it," Luke warns, and both thirty-two-year-old adults snicker. "Either way, we really do need to get going, or we’re gonna miss that flight. Nephew, you drive," Luke said as he threw the keys into Jess’s hands. He catches it gracefully. 

"Alright, bye, sweets! See you in a week!" Lorelai wraps her arms around her for one last time before entering the backseat. Luke rounds the car to sit shotgun, and Rory watches it all play out in front of her with a soft smile. 

Before Jess can enter the car, though, he stops in his tracks and turns to face Rory. "Hey, Ror, do you wanna come too? You can bid them farewell once more at the airport. If you want to," He looks down, kicking a pebble near his foot.

Rory was not prepared for that invitation, but she finally managed to give an answer. "Oh, uh.. sure. Wait a sec, let me grab my purse," then rushed inside to get it. Before long, she joined Lorelai in the back seat, and they were off. 

***

Lorelai and Luke just walked through the gates after yet another long goodbye filled with hugs and kisses, almost all of which were contributed by the girls. Now, Jess and Rory are leaning on the car, still silently watching strangers backs and luggage.

"Well," Jess perks up, removing his back from the car window, "Let’s go home then."

Rory nods, smiling to herself at his choice of words. Home. After all these years, he can finally call Stars Hollow home. Perhaps not his main home base, but at least a place to go for comfort. She was definitely happy with the development.

"On second thought, I see a sandwich place on the way here. Do you wanna stop by there for a second? I know you must be hungry by now." He smirks, and as if on cue, her stomach grumbles.

"You are a smart man. Come on then, let's go get that sandwich," She says with more determination than you’d expect from a person who wants to get her lunch.

Jess drives again, and the car ride to the eatery is filled with music blasting from the radio. It was a short ride, both of them instantly ordered the best-selling menu to go, and fifteen minutes later they were back on the road.

Rory eats her sandwich in the car, ducking her head and moving her hands a lot in order to prevent sauces and caramelized onions from falling off. It was a bit cartoony, and Jess glanced at her from the rearview mirror with a soft smile. He was also holding his sandwich in his left hand, trying to eat cleanly himself. It was a bit… reminiscent.

Rory thought about that too, as she turned her head to examine him. Not a lot has changed. Perhaps you can see soft wrinkles in the corner of his eyes when he smiles, or perhaps his chin is covered with neat stubble now. But all in all, he’s still the same, still Jess. Even the way he chews remains, with one corner quirked up in that childlike way. The memories of that night flashed in her head without her consent.

You can do anything you wanted, you can be anything you wanted.

So, Courtney, what about you? What about me? What are your big ambitions?

You’re not gonna kill me. Think how dull your life would be without me.

He had been right.

"You know, Gilmore, staring is judged creepy by a lot of people." He turns his head at her for real this time, catching her eyes. Rory smiles sheepishly.

"Sorry..." she mumbles, her mouth finding its way to her half-eaten sandwich. "It’s just, we’ve done this before, haven't we?" Her hands flew into the air around them. Jess nods pointedly. "That we have,"

The air goes still between them, the radio turned down. She can almost hear him breathing. 

"I’m sorry, for that night. I was a jerk," he suddenly says.

Her eyes went wide. "No, no, you didn't do anything. You don't need to apologize,"

"What the hell are you talking about? I wrecked your car, I made you break your arm, I," he breathes. "I left." 

She swallows. "Well, you shouldn't take the blame for the accident yourself, though. I told you to drive the car. Plus, that animal was in the way!" she exclaimed.

He looks at her straight in the eye, waiting. She sighs. "Jess, I forgave you a long, long time ago. Yes, it was wrong to leave just like that. But, for what it's worth, you came back." The memory of the first day he came back creeps its way into her head. Sookie’s wedding.

Just, wanted to.

She shakes her head and averts her eyes from his gaze.

"Besides, that day in New York was a good memory," She smiles to herself. Jess did too, staring at her this time. "Yeah, it was."

Perhaps the universe was also feeling a bit nostalgic at that moment, because just after Jess set his eyes back on the road, a thick-furred cat came rushing across the road.

"Jess!" She shouts, eyes blown. Quickly, Jess slams the steering wheel to the right, causing them to stray off the road. Rory shrieks, Jess’s knuckles go white, gripping the wheel as hard as he can, giving all of his body strength to control the car from hitting a tree that plants itself just by the road.

His feet hit the brake so hard, he worries the truck may be dented down there. "Come on, come on," he grunts.

Not again, this is your second chance. Don't mess up this time, Mariano. Don't hurt her. 

Thankfully, he succeeded. The car stops before it hits a tree, and both of the passengers are left panting inside. Their chests weave, and the car goes dead silent. Jess slowly turns his head around to face Rory, expecting her to frown or to be mad at him for yet another almost-accident. He curses.

"Shit, Rory. Are you okay?" His eyes search hers, but her eyes are still fixed up front. "Damn it, I’m so sorry. Are you hurt? You didn’t hit yourself anywhere, right? Rory? Look at me, please. I’m worried sick here." He weighs the thought of turning her face toward himself, cupping her cheeks in the process. His hands were still in mid-air when he heard her chuckle.

"Wow, what a day. The world sure has a good memory." She finally turns her head, slightly grinning. Jess let out a relieved sigh. "Dork," Jess mumbles, and starts to drive the car backward, continuing the ride. Rory hears him, though, and shoves him on his shoulder.

They drive in silence for a couple of minutes before Rory breaks the silence. "If we actually crashed the truck just now, we might as well recreate the whole night," She says with wonder. "Sadly, without ice cream, though." She finishes.

"Maybe," he agrees. "But one thing would be different, though."

"Yeah? What's that?" She challenges, her whole body facing him.

He smiles, turning his head toward her too. "I’m not going anywhere this time." He finishes, his eyes locked into hers. Not for long, but it felt enough. 

Her throat tightens, and a feigned feeling of what feels like butterfly wings start to scratch her abdomen. Or maybe that’s just the baby. Yep, it’s the baby.

She doesn't respond fast enough, and he goes back to driving, not picking up that topic. The car is silent once again.

They reached Stars Hollow shortly after that, and this is where Jess speaks, "Do you wanna stop by the diner first? Y’know, for coffee?" Jess says, but his eyes are on the road.

Diner. Coffee. Jess. The thoughts spiraled in her head. The thought of Jess was pleasant, but the coffee part propelled her backward. Jess knows her a little too much. He’d read her like a book, and she is not ready to tell him yet. So she shakes her head.

"No thanks. I’ll just go home and continue on with my writing," she gushed.

"Ah, of course," he said, turning the car towards her house. Rory brushed off the feeling that his tone sounded a bit disappointed. She glanced at him, and his face was blank, unreadable. Jess was always good at this kind of stuff. Sometimes she wishes he wasn't.

They rounded her house a few minutes later before Jess stopped in front of it. He sighs, and Rory does the same. Her body felt heavy for some reason.

"Well, I think I should get going now." She claps her thighs, opening her seatbelt.

"Yup," That's all he says, and Rory doesn't know why it disappointed her a little.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." She settled for that and reached out to squeeze Jess’s hands on the steering wheel. Before she could, Jess caught her hands in his and squeezed them himself, making her freeze. It was probably only five seconds, but her hand still tingled afterward.

"Bye, Ror," He says, a soft smile on his face.

"Bye," she whispers, and almost fell off the car while trying to get out. She walks quickly inside and locks the door. Well, that was an interesting evening.

***

Jess watches her from the car window, his eyes never leaving her back until the front door closes. When he’s sure she’s safe inside, he sighs deeply, starting the car again.

You’re an idiot, his head says. He can’t argue with that.

When he reached the diner, his eyes glanced down to check on the pedals, actually worrying that he might have broken them. Everything seems fine there, to his relief. But his eyes catch something else. A purse, Rory’s purse, tucked down there under her seat.

Huh, she might’ve forgotten. I’m gonna give it to her tomorrow, he mentally noted.

He reached down to grab it, but when he took it into his arms, something fell off from the inside. He didn't even notice the bag was open.

A piece of paper. A… photo? 

Lorelai Leigh Gilmore

11/06/2016

Three weeks

What the fuck?

Chapter Text

You’re an idiot, her head says, and she really, really , is.

Thirty minutes ago, she sat down in front of her laptop when she remembered to text her mom that evening. That’s when she realized she left her purse in Luke’s truck. She mentally scolded herself, stood up, and grabbed a coat to fetch her purse. That’s when her mind suddenly remembered everything. The ultrasound photo was also in that purse. She forgot to close it after she grabbed her wallet to pay for her sandwich, even though Jess beat her to it. Oh god, Jess.

What if he sees the photo? What if he realizes she’s pregnant before she can tell him? What if he starts seeing her in a different light now? What if, what if, what if...

This is how she finds herself pacing the room for the last ten minutes, now scared to death of the thought of taking her bag back. Of the thought of facing Jess again.

Another minute went by, and she made up her mind. Perhaps he didn’t see anything, she convinced herself, and continued to grab her coat and her keys.

There was a knock on her door, and all thoughts flew out of her mind. She hesitates, walking cautiously towards it. She took a deep breath and opened her door.

There stood Jess, clutching her purse tightly. His face is… confused. Distant, hurt?

Oh god, he knows.

***

He’s been standing there for the last ten minutes, contemplating life. Not his life, but the possible life inside of Rory. He’s - What?

Knock the door , his head went more urgent, but his hands stilled. He grunts, hating this position he’s been put in. His palms are sweaty now, and he constantly tries to dry them off on his jeans.

Should I confront her? Should I pretend I don’t know anything? She’s pregnant? Will she ever tell me? It’s been three weeks? God, How could I not notice this? Oh, that day on the dance floor... Shit, I am an idiot. Does Luke know? Is this why she declined the coffee earlier? Who’s the father? Would he be here for her? Would he be here at all? A million questions are begging to be asked, making his head hurt.

He took another step forward just as the door creaked open, revealing a wide-eyed Rory, a coat around her left arm.

"I…" The words died in his throat, leaving his mouth open. Rory smiled sadly, and opened the door wider, inviting him in. Without any questions, he follows her inside. They stood awkwardly across each other in the living room, his eyes on the ground and hers anywhere beside him.

"Uh, here," he says when he realizes he’s still clutching her purse. He regrets giving it to her, though; he desperately needs something to do with his hands—to hold something, anything.

Her. His mind goes. Preferably her. He hates himself.

"So, uh, thank you for bringing this, Jess. I was about to get it myself, actually. But now I don't have to!" Her tone is chipper; she's really trying to lighten up the mood around here. But she's got that slight crease on her nose she gets when she’s panicking or trying to backtrack. He knows. 

"Rory…" He tries, but that switches something inside her brain, and now she’s rambling. 

"No, stop. I know. I know you know. It’s written all over your face, And really, I wanna tell you, I really do! Just, not now. Well, I guess it is now, but I didn’t mean it! I’m really sorry you have to find out like this; my stupid brain forgot the one vital proof of the baby." Her hand instinctively reached her lower stomach.

He gulps, but she’s not done yet. "I just, I’m in a messed up place right now, you know that, and this baby just throws a tantrum in everything in my life. But I wanna do this. I love them already, Jess; I really do. But the thought of you, knowing me as Rory Gilmore, a failed journalist with a baby on the way, just sickens me. The- the idea of you seeing me in a different way just—I just don't want it, okay? I wanna tell you, I really do, but I’m so scared, Jess. Holy fuck, I’m terrified, scared shitless, is there any other phrase for that? Either way, I am not okay. I wanna be okay; I really, really want to. But now, my mom’s away—yes, I know I insisted she go, but that's not the point!—and I’m alone, I’m knocked up, and I just, damn it, Jess, I don’t know what to do…"

She’s sniffling now, her arms going around hugging her body. Jess gives in to the thought in his head and crosses the room to her side, taking the risk of wrapping her around him. Surprisingly, she gladly relents, clinging to him and now falling apart in his arms. She places her head in the crook of his neck, and he buries his nose into her head. Her shampoo’s different than when they were seventeen, but it still smells so Rory. 

After a while, her crying subsides, and only soft hiccups are heard. He gently pulled away, his arms still around her. He searched her eyes, now red-rimmed from all that crying. Impulsively, he tucks a strand of hair behind her ears, and he swears he hears her breath hitching. No, he’s just delirious.

"Rory," he tries again, testing the waters. When he doesn’t hear any response, he continues. "I would never, ever see you in a different way. Pregnant or not, you’re still Rory Gilmore, the most amazing woman I’ve ever met." That part makes her chuckle in disbelief, but he was having none of it.

No, no, It’s true. I hadn't had a lot of woman figures in my life, but you definitely stood out from the rest. Rory, you’re going to be okay. You’re not messed up. No one can mess up Rory Gilmore. And as I said, you’re still a contender. You’ll always be a contender," he sighs, weighing his next words.

"And you’re not alone now." He pauses for a moment. "You have me." He watched her eyes widen, and he thought he had jumped the gun there. "If you’ll have me, of course," he finishes, clearing his throat and averting his eyes.

"Jess," Her voice is soft, making him pull his eyes back to her. She smiles softly. "I’ll always have you," she said, bringing him back into her embrace. He gives in gladly.

"Thank you for being here," she mumbles, moving her head. Her hair is tickling his neck, but he doesn't want to let go of her. Not now, not ever.

"I’m not going anywhere now; I’m right here," he mumbles back. She hums in response.

She pulls back this time, and suddenly they’re on the dancefloor again. His eyes locked onto hers with a soft smile, and she did the same, her eyes still kinda blurry from all the tears. They stood there, neither of them really wanting to fully separate. The butterfly wings came back, kinda stronger now, and she needs to stop looking at his eyes. Has it always been that brown? That warm? That comforting? 

Her wish is God’s command when she hears her phone ring loudly from her purse, making both of them jump apart. She marched to her forgotten purse and grabbed her phone.


"I’m just gonna, uh," she points to her phone. Jess nods, waving his hands to let her go. When she exits the room, he slaps himself right in the face with both hands, holding in a groan.

Get it together, Mariano. This is not the time for this. His head says. He nods.

But when is the time? Another voice in his head says, And he really, really wants to slap himself again. The thought stops there when Rory enters the room again.

"My mom. She told me she and Luke landed safely at the airport," she explains. She looks… nervous. Kind of. Jess smiles tightly, clasping his hands on his back. The air is awkward again, and he hates it.

"So... I know you have a jillion questions to ask. Ask away!" Her body moves stiffly to sit on the couch, pointing to the seat in front of her. He follows her again, because that’s all he’s gonna do for the rest of his life.

"Does anybody else know?" That’s the question he let out, even though that’s the last thing on his mind right now. "Besides your mom, of course,"

"No, I just went to the doctor’s office this morning; it’s still very new," she says. "I guess you’re the second person to know. Congratulations!" Her voice is all sarcastic, and that makes Jess ease a little. He smiles and stays silent.

"You’re not gonna ask me who the father is?" Rory suddenly says, eyes on her feet.



"Well, It’s kinda not my business, so I’m not gonna push you, Rory. I don’t give a damn about the father, besides the fact that he’s apparently not here." He tries to sound calm, even, collected. "What I do give a damn about, however, is you. So, how are you feeling?"

She’s silent for a moment before finally answering. "Honestly? No idea." He quirks an eyebrow, encouraging her to go on. "I mean, I am happy. I really am. But I also have no idea how I am supposed to do this. Motherhood is terrifying," she sighs, dropping back on the couch and blowing her hair out of her face.

"That it is," he agrees. "But hey, you've got a pretty good role model, at least. And if it ever crosses your mind, no. You’re not gonna be a bad mother. You’re gonna be amazing, Rory. That kid’s going to grow up with so much love, I know it." He sounds so firm, so sure. 

She straightens her back, looking intently at him. He's got a way with words, that’s for sure. Well, he is a writer. But she can feel it in her bones, that he meant every single word. She studies his face to look for any signs of deceit; there are none. Just pure belief, pure assurance, and pure support. She loves him for that.

Whoa, hold that thought, Gilmore. That’s not supposed to be there. She looks down again.

"It’s Logan's," She finally whispers, effectively ruining any imaginary moment going on. 

Jess stiffens. That name always brought a fire within him, an urge to punch that blond dick square in the face. To him, he’s always no good for Rory, and where the hell is he now? A woman—Rory!—is pregnant with his child, for fucks sake, and he’s not here. He should be here, not him. But Jess cannot even remotely think of leaving her side now.

"Oh," was all he said, absentmindedly clenching his fist behind his back.

"Yeah," she said, taking a deep breath.

"I didn’t know you two were still together." His tongue betrays him by saying that, but then he sees Rory snap her head up in panic.

"Oh, no, no, we’re not together. He’s engaged to someone else." Now it’s his turn to have wide eyes, brows furrowed so deeply. She sighs again. "It’s, we, I-ugh, it’s complicated." She gives up altogether.

He smiles sadly. "Aren’t it always?" he looks at her, now mimicking his smile. "Right,"

They sit in silence for what feels like an eternity, both deeply buried in their own thoughts. It’s not the awkward kind, thank goodness. But it’s not enjoyable either. 

"He didn’t know, by the way. Logan. Yet at least." She says. "So you can unclench your fist now, Jess," She looked him dead in the eye, smirking slightly.

He opens his mouth, gaping. The sight makes Rory chuckle. "Don't think I didn’t see that. Your arm contractions are visible enough."

He smirks back, relaxing a bit. "Are you going to tell him?" he finds himself asking.

"Eventually, yeah." Her eyes are distant, clearly still thinking about it.

"Well, he deserves to know, right? I mean, if I were in his position, I would like to know." He really hopes he’s not being obvious here. But she just nods.

He glances outside to find a dark sky, and he realizes it’s pretty late already—9 p.m. minimum. It’s probably best for him to go back now. It is, however, hard to pull himself up from the chair and out of the house. But Liz would freak out if he went missing for a night without warning. Yeah, her motherhood came out very late.

"So, I think I should go now. I mean, it was a long day," he said as he stood up, grabbing his jacket from the back of the sofa.

"Oh, of course." She stands up too, her voice strained, which makes his mind question his hearing again. "I’ll walk you out. Sorry for keeping you."

"It’s ok, I don't mind," he shrugs, and they walk out to the porch together, stopping just before the stairs.

They face each other, and Jess was about to say goodbye when Rory envelopes him once again for a hug. Her arms are tight around him, and her body heat warms him up immediately. He lets himself bury his head once again, his nose bruising her temple and her cold cheek lightly. She sighs contently.

"Thank you, Jess, for everything. I’m glad you’re here," She whispers.

"Me too, Ror," He whispers back without detaching himself. She hums, and the vibrations send a shiver through him. He prays to God that she didn’t feel them.

They finally let go, and Rory tries not to look into his eyes again. She’s scared of the outcome if they lock eyes for the hundredth time that day. 

"Bye, Rory," he says, and starts walking down the stairs to the truck.

She needs to say something. "See you tomorrow!" She calls. Jess turns his body around and calls back. "You know where to find me!" With that, he enters the truck and drives away from her house, from her. 

Damn these hormones.

She stayed there, watching the car go by, until it was out of her sight. When it did, she slumped down dramatically, her back on the closed door. She sighs deeply, her palms going through her hair.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" Now she’s frustrated, wiping her arms on her face too many times, trying to wake herself up from this weird fever dream.

Jess Mariano is a good man. A really good man and a good friend too. She even dared to say one of her best friends, probably knows her second best, behind Lorelai. Or third, behind Lane as well. She is lucky to have him in her life as a friend. A friend. 

"Ugh!" She groans, smacking herself on the forehead. She’s getting dizzy.

No, she was not developing feelings for her high school ex who broke her heart at seventeen. Not a chance. Nu-uh. 

He’s the one who put you back together, too. Damnit, her head is not helping right now.

He mended your life. He encouraged you to go back to Yale. He gave you purpose. He told you to write a book. He’s here now. He’s not the same guy who broke your heart; he’s the same guy who always believes in you.

"Shut up," she mumbles to herself. Wow, she was going crazy.

She let go of her hair, sure now it’s unruly as ever, and stood up. Nope, she’s not doing this now. She has enough on her plate; she should not be worrying about her and Jess. He’s a friend, and she loves him dearly. That’s it, no funny business.

Fuck. And with that, she entered her house again. Now, what was she supposed to do? Oh yeah, she's got a book to write.

***

The bell jingles on top of her, waking her up from her haze as she enters the diner. There he is. Behind the counter, acting politely and interacting with Babette and Miss Patty. He’s smiling lightly, but the shine in his eyes suggests that this is the last place he wants to be. She grins at him when he finally catches her eye.

"Jess Mariano, everyone, back behind the counter. Fill me up!" She says this, passing a cup across the counter.

"Ooh, nice one, Doll" she heard Miss Patty chirp up behind her, and for a moment, she furrowed her brows in confusion. When it finally clicks, though, her face goes instantly red.

"Oh, no, not like that! I mean, look, coffee! A cup! Fill the coffee cup!" She desperately tries to wave her off, but now Miss Patty is wiggling her eyebrows and smirking at her, all suggestive, and Rory can only groan. 

She hears Jess laughing beside her, and she sends him a pleading look. 

"Relax, Doogie. I know what you mean," he smirks, and he fills her cup to the brim. When he looks up, he sees a skeptical Rory, eyeing the coffee cup nervously. He smiles at her and leans down to whisper in her ear, mindful of everyone else.

"It’s decaf. Now drink up, soldier." He winks at her afterward, and she beams.

First sip, and she’s trying her hardest not to gag. God, this is the taste she needs to get used to for the next nine months. She shoots a look of disgust and betrayal at her coffee cup but drinks the rest anyway. Jess glances at her with a fond smile, fully amused by her reactions. Once he’s finished with everybody else’s cups and tables, he goes back to Rory. When will he ever not?

"So, Gilmore, any big plans for the day?" He asks her while wiping down the counter.

He starts to look like Luke, and she smiles at the thought. She shakes her head.

"Oh, nothing big, nothing fancy. Just gonna relax at home and write, perhaps watch a couple of movies with Paul Anka. You know, not much." She said that with a big smile on her face, and that makes him so glad. After last night’s event, he started to miss happy Rory.

"What about you? Any big writer plans for today?" It’s her turn to ask, putting her empty cup down. Jess fills it up again on cue.

"Same old, same old. Perhaps will go through some emails, look at some manuscripts, call Matt and Chris, you know, not much." He repeats her words, leaning his elbow on the counter.

She rolls her eyes and bumps his elbow with hers, making his arms fall down and his head hit the tabletop. It was not severe, but it did hurt. He gets up with a groan and rubs the impacted spot.

"Oh god, Jess, I’m so sorry! Are you hurt? You’re hurt, aren’t you? Shit, I’m sorry. Here, let me see." She gets rid of his arms and pulls his face closer, examining his forehead for a bruise or something.

Her eyes are so focused, she didn't even feel Jess's body stiffen. He momentarily stopped breathing as her hand cupped his jaw and rubbed his forehead, sometimes patting it gently. Holy shit, she’s gorgeous.

"Well, I didn’t see any damage, so I guess the pain is just the shock from the impact. But still, sorry..." She smiles cheekily and retracts her hands, patting his forehead one last time. Damn, now he’s missing the contact. 

He’s still flurried with thoughts when Rory calls him for the second time. "Oh, sorry. Wha-what did you say?"

Rory ck's at him. "I was saying you’re good, and I’m sorry," she says slowly, one syllable at a time. Jess gives her a flat face, which she makes fun of after.

"So, I was thinking, seeing that you and I both don't have much planned for the day, would you like to come over later? I need to talk to you about something." She grabs one of the sugar-coated donuts from the display and takes a large bite, getting white sugar all over the corner of her mouth. It takes everything in him to restrain himself from swiping it away with his hands. Instead, he hands her the tissue box.

"Oh, why so serious, Gilmore?" he teases, and Rory gives him a warning look. He laughs out loud then.

"Sure, I’ll come over. What time?" 

"Up to you. As I said, I’m not leaving the house today! Well, I guess except now, but I’m free for the rest of the day."

"Then 1 o’clock it is then," he nods, and she smiles.

"Okay! See you later then," and with that, she stood up and reached into her wallet to pay. A pair of hands stopped her mid-action, though.

"Don’t even think about it, Gilmore." He gave her a pointed look, glancing at the money that was already in her hands. "On the house. Now beat it," he points the door with his head, a corner of his mouth quirking up.

Rory smiles brightly, then reaches for his hand to give it a firm squeeze. "Alright. I’ll see you soon, Jess." Then she’s gone.

Jess sighs deeply, watching her back until he can't even see her anymore from the diner windows. He jumped when he saw Caesar behind him, giving him a tight smile.

"You’re in deep, kid," he says, before striding down back to the kitchen.

"Believe me, I’m aware." He says to himself, then more people call him to refill their cups, and the thought of Rory Gilmore momentarily leaves his head.

Chapter Text

It was 1:05 when he took off for the Gilmores house. He walks there, carrying his work bag. He thought that since he didn’t have anything planned for the rest of the day, he might as well spend the day working there. Also, the idea of being in the same room as Rory is definitely appealing.

He knows this is a dangerous situation, but he couldn’t help it. He spent the last 4 years after that night in Truncheon convincing himself that he was over Rory, that he is pathetic, and that he really, desperately needs to move on. Surprise surprise, seeing Rory again and reconnecting with her last summer was all it took for him to be back at the start. He’s not pretending now; he’s just… being subtle. Perhaps to her and to the rest of the town, but to Jess? He was practically wearing his heart up front, open and vulnerable. If Rory herself asks him if he’s still in love with her, he would say yes. He doubts that will ever play out, though.

Rory is… complicated. Plus, he knows now that she has a baby on the way, which makes it more complicated. That blond jackass is getting on his nerves again after all this time, and now he will be a permanent factor in Rory’s life whether Jess likes it or not. That thought sometimes makes him fume, even though he has no right to. She’s not his to keep, and he’s starting to think that she will never be, even though Jess knows in every fiber of his body that he will always be hers. It’s a fact, a hole he needs to accept and live with. He sighs and starts walking faster.

Not long after, he was knocking on the door, hoisting his bag higher on his shoulder. Through the windows, he can see Rory skipping down the stairs and telling Paul Anka to stop barking. Then the door opens, and Rory Gilmore greets him with a wide smile and a pen in her ear. Her hair was up in a low ponytail, and she chirped when she saw him. Gosh, he is so gone.

"Jess, hi! Come on in!" She slides her body to the side to let him in, then walks towards the kitchen counter to grab some soda from the fridge. "Want some?" she offers, and he just nods. She hands the can to him, and both of them chug it at the same time.

"Well, aren’t you full of energy? Find any treasure in the backyard?" He eyes the back door, smirking at the narrowed look she’s giving him.

"Funny. You should be a comedian."

"So I’ve been told." His smirk widens, and Rory gives him a withering stare.

"Ouch, Gilmore. You didn’t need to do that!" He acts all dramatic, gasping and putting a hand on his chest. Rory scoffs in exasperation and marches back to her room. Jess snickers behind her but doesn’t move. He knows she’s coming back, so he settles himself on the couch, opens his bag, and grabs his laptop.

"Well, aren’t you cozy here," He hears her voice and turns his head to see her with a laptop too, approaching the couch before sitting beside him on the other side of the couch.

"Yeah, sorry. I don’t have any plans or places I need to attend after this, so I was just guessing you’d let me stay here for a while," he says while turning on his laptop. Then he’s looking at her again with a pointed look. "If you’d let me, of course. I could just work above the diner. I just thought… a company would be nice," he said softly.

She mimics his smile, "Of course you can, Jess. Your company is always welcome." She says then, her stretched feet brushing his thighs. 

They sit in silence for a while, both focusing on their own tasks. The sound of keyboards clicking and occasional sighing is the only thing heard in that house. Well, apart from Paul Anka barking at fallen leaves outside, It’s so incredibly peaceful and comforting, just two people typing away and enjoying each other’s presence along the way. Her feet shift a lot, to the point where Jess becomes distracted and promptly lifts both of them to rest on top of his thighs, using the pillow he used as a table for his laptop as a barrier between them. She can feel the feign heat radiating through the laptop, and it warms her feet.

At one point, without warning, she lifted her feet and stood up, making his laptop jump. He’s startled, attempting to secure the device before it crashes on the floor or the table underneath. Thankfully, he managed, and when he turned to Rory, she gave him a sheepish smile and apologetic eyes.

"Sorry..." she pouts, and he could never stay mad at that face.

He rolls his eyes with a quirk in his mouth and continues working on a particularly frustrating manuscript he promised Matt he would check out this week. He internally curses himself for that.

She disappears into the kitchen, and he hears cabinets being opened and closed and plastic bags rustling. He refocuses on the screen, frowning hard at a painfully long and unstructured paragraph that makes his eyes and brain hurt to even think about reading it. Suddenly, he feels slight breathing and a quiet hum on the side of his face. He moves his head and sees Rory behind the couch, peeking over his shoulder and leaning down to read the said paragraph. Her eyes are moving fast from left to right, and she grimaces for a while. He’s guessing the headache it causes finally dawns on her.

He watched her from the side, observing her side profile and her face in general. They’re what, thirty-two? But still, he can see that full-spirited, ambitious, and super-intelligent girl he fell for at seventeen. She wrinkled her forehead and the top of her nose, a gesture he knows all too well. She smells nice too; she always does. She leans more to get a better look, and now Jess is full-on staring. He didn’t care; he stopped caring about hiding his feelings for Rory a long time ago. He hears a soft grunt coming from her lips, and suddenly she whips her head to face him, catching him in his act.

"Yikes," was all she said, glancing at the laptop with a sympathetic smile.

"Yup," he sighs, facing the screen again and pretending to be unphased, but Rory doesn't move. She’s still peeking over, still scanning the paragraph.

"The punctuation stinks and the sentence arrangements need a lot of work. A visual challenge indeed. Mind if I try to fix it?" She says this from his shoulder, and he can feel her breath on his neck.

"You sure? My brain malfunctions just by looking at it," He says without looking back at her, scrolling mindlessly through the manuscript.

She finally rounded the couch and sat back to her original position, even prompting her feet against his once again. When she’s settled, she throws a bag of chips at him. He didn’t even notice it before.

"I’m sure I've got some ideas, I think. God, my editing skills are getting kinda rusty," she leans back, her own bag of chips open. He watches her for a second, smiling softly.

"Well, Miss Yale editor, how can I say no?" He grins and passes the laptop to her lap. She receives it gladly, her own laptop forgotten on the table.

"While you’re at it, I’m gonna head out for a while. You want food?" he asks her while standing up, dropping her feet on the pillow.



She pouts,"First of all, I’ll always want food, you moron. Second of all, no, don't leave! My feet are cold without you," she looks actually disappointed, and he doesn't know what to do with that information. "Can’t we just order?" She’s looking at him with the best puppy-dog eyes she can manage, and he almost gave in. Almost.

He chuckles. "Don’t get too attached now, Gilmore. Besides, I really need some fresh air after that," he points to the laptop. What's Al’s serving this time? I was thinking of just going there," he said, grabbing his coat on the way out.

Her pout disappears in an instant. "Indian," she grins, wiggling her eyebrows at him.

He groans. "Might as well go to Sandeep’s then. But you’re helping me burn the house later." He points at her then the whole house, emphasis on everything. She giggled as he went out the door. 

It’s been 10 minutes since Jess left for food, and Rory’s trying very hard to focus. She was massaging her forehead when she heard a phone ringing loudly. Looking across her, there lies Jess’s phone. He left it, apparently. She decided to ignore it, not wanting to invade his personal space. It dies down shortly after that, and she goes back to the manuscript at hand.

A few minutes later, the phone rang again. She fights the urge to just answer it, but she takes a deep breath and lets go, letting the call die a second time. This time, the phone rings again instantly, and she gives up. Grabbing it, she presses the accept button and answers the phone with her greeting voice. At least that dreadful time in the DAR brought something beneficial.

"Hello! This is Rory Gilmore speaking. Who’s this?" She’s met with silence on the other hand, and she frowns. "Hello?" she tried again.

She hears someone clear their throat, probably a guy. "Uh, hi, Rory," he said awkwardly. Her frown deepens.

"Hi. Uhh, do I know you?" She asks, and the guy clears his throat again. She also hears low mumbling; she thinks there’s another person in the room. Her theory is proven, as the voice she hears next is different from the last one.

"Shut up, give it to me- Hi! Yeah, hi. Um, Is Jess around?" This voice is a bit friendlier, and she exhales in relief.

"No, he’s out buying food for us. But I could tell him you called if you guys tell me who you are," she draws. She hears mumblings again, followed by chairs moving and someone whisper-shouting. She can’t hear any of the words, though.

"Hello…?" She’s kinda annoyed now, thinking that maybe this is some kind of fraud tax company that wants to ask Jess for charity or something. She’s going to just hang up when she hears the guy speak.

"Food for you? As in, both of you guys together?" The voice is careful, and it sends her on edge.

"Uhh… yeah? He was at my house, took a break from working, and decided to grab us something to eat." Her voice is also careful, even though she doesn't know why. "Wait, why are you asking anyway? Who are you guys?" Her voice grew more urgent.

"Uh, sorry. Hi Rory, I’m Chris, and the other gentleman you spoke with earlier is Matt. We’re Jess’s coworkers, slash friends. Remember us?" His voice is still friendly, but now it’s kinda tinted by sarcasm. She swallows hard.

Oh, that’s why they sounded so shocked at first. Matt and Chris, from Truncheon Press. God, they hated her, didn't they? Perhaps Jess told them about them; after all, they are his friends. And judging by the interactions that she remembered from that night, they’re really good friends. Jess could be open with them—open enough, at least. If Jess did tell them about the incident then, well, she couldn’t really blame them for resenting her. It still sucks though.

"Uh...," She breathes, unsure what to say next. Chris beats her to it.

"Yep. So, Rory, tell Jess we called, alright? And tell him to call us back immediately, too. Okay? We've gotta go now. Have a lovely day, goodbye." With that, the line goes silent.

She sat there, struck still. Damn, that was bad. She shook her head and went back to the manuscript, giving it some finishing touches. Not 15 minutes later, her door opens, and Jess, with two bags full of takeout in either hand, quickly walks to the table.

"Alright, Tikka Masala and Kofta for you, butter chicken and Rogan Josh for me. Chai tea for both of us. Did I get that right?" He’s panting a bit, and Rory smiles at the fact that he still remembers her order after all this time. But she’s still silent, still recovering from that phone call.

"Rory?" Jess asks, looking confused as ever.

"Matt and Chris called." She says this, making his eyes widen for a split second.

"Oh… Did they, did they say anything?" He eyes his phone, catching up on what might have happened when he was out.

She hums. "Yep, they said some stuff, and told me to tell you to call back immediately when you’re around." Her voice is full of false cheeriness, and it worries him.

"Rory…" "They hate me, don’t they?" She blurts out, eyeing his face.

Jess sighs, propping himself beside her and grabbing her legs against him again. "No, they don't hate you. They’re just… Look, perhaps you didn't give them the best first impression-"

She scoffs, laughing flatly, and Jess presses one of her toes to stop her.

"Hey, stop. Who cares what they think anyway? They didn't know you then, and they definitely don’t know you now, so don’t think about it, okay? The guys are just kinda protective, that’s all," he shrugs.

"They’re sweet with you. I can tell that they care a lot." She smiles softly at him. "You have really good guards there, Dodger."

"Yeah, well," he says, grabbing the food containers and handing her her meal. "I’m lucky to have found them the way I did. I don’t know where I'd be now if I hadn’t crossed paths with those guys. Definitely not here." Then he grabs his own food, and both of them relax on the couch, eating silently with the warmth of Jess’s body heat coursing through her body from her feet. It’s comfortable. She can get used to this.

Holy shit, she really needs to stop thinking.

"Did you tell them about us?" She needs to ask him; it’s killing her to not know.

The question startled him a little; hearing the phrase ‘about us’ is enough to make his heart stop for a full second. "What?"

"Just now, on the phone, I said my name and mentioned you were out buying us food, and they got... let’s say they entered an interrogation mode." She says it so casually, but the tension on her shoulders is a dead giveaway.

"I, maybe? Honestly, I have no idea," he shrugs, and that makes her look at him all funny. "How can you have no idea?"

He sighs, "Look, after that night, it was not my proudest moment, ok? I got kinda drunk in the office, and maybe I spilled my entire life story and what had happened to them; I don't know! The next morning, they were all so gentle and careful with me that it drove me nuts, and I demanded their full explanation. They didn’t explain the details of what they heard that night, but yeah, I guess they know you now." He’s trying to shrug it off, but he's eating that poor butter chicken a bit aggressively now. 

She’s gaping, and her eyes are blurry again all of a sudden. "Jess," she calls him, and when he turns around to her on the verge of tears, he softens.

"Jess, I am so sorry for what I did that night. That was so bad—one of my worst moments—up there in the top 5. You, you didn’t know. You didn’t deserve it. God, I was such a jerk! Attempting to use you like that? Low blow, Gilmore. Low blow," she hides her face in her palms, her now untied hair framing her face. He sighs and starts to reach out to her, but it’s a bit hard since her feet are on the way. He settles for rubbing her feet instead.

"Rory…" He wanted to say ‘it’s ok’, but the words stuck in his throat. It was not okay, really. None of it was, but he used to think it was some universal law crashing down on him. He hurt her, she hurt him back, and the world continues on. Call it karma if you like.

"We’re okay now, no use dwelling on past mistakes, alright? We’re here, and we’ve healed. I don't know about you, but I would hate it if someone sees me and all they see is a messed up brooding 17-year-old kid who skipped town and left a mess wherever he went, even though it’s not entirely wrong either," 

She looks like she's about to protest, but he continues, "The point is, you’re not your mistakes, Rory. You’ve grown. You learn to forgive and forget, and you move on. That’s it, you need to let it go, Gilmore. I’m not hung up on it; why should you?" His voice is soft, her hands are gentle around her ankle, and his smile is comforting. She relaxes a bit, feeling the lump leave her throat.

"Okay," she sighs, and gets back to forking her chicken. 

They ate in silence again for a little while, his right hand never leaving her ankle. His fingers sometimes swiped up and down between her fingers, making her giggle.

"For what it’s worth, I forgive you." His eyes never leave his dish, but he squeezes her toe again, and she can just feel him as if his heart is in her hands. She has that power—to embrace it or to crush it, and it terrifies her.

She managed a smile at the last second, just before he turned his face toward her. "Thanks,"

He simply nodded after that. When they are finished with their meals, Rory gathers their boxes and Jess cleans up some remaining bits, both of them moving simultaneously around the couch to the kitchen. Jess volunteers to make some coffee, and Rory praises him for being an angel. They’re back on the couch in no time, instinctively returning to their work mode. Rory hands over his laptop, and she goes back to her own book.

"Wow, Gilmore, nice job. Definitely much more readable now," he smirked at her, patting her legs. "Thanks, I owe you."

"No problem, glad to put my skills to work again. God, I miss working like this." Her tone shifts again, and he worries he may have said something wrong there. Alas, he sighs deeply.

"Nope, nu-uh, no sad Rory is allowed anymore today. From now on, only happy Rory is welcome." When he looks at her and finds she’s still pouting in defeat, he goes ahead and tickles her feet for real this time, making her squirm and shake, laughter echoing through the walls. His grip is firm around her ankle, leaving no room for her to break free. She’s gasping now, her eyes watery as she continues to scream his name, urging him to stop. 

"Oh my god, Jess! Stop, Jess! Oh, I’m so gonna kill you after this!" She’s sat up and tries to reach for her ankle to push Jess’s hands away. Jess saw that coming, though, and pulled her feet up against him to avoid her roaming hands, resulting in Rory’s thigh basically on top of him. None of them notice that yet—Rory is still rolling on the couch, and Jess is too focused on making her laugh.

Finally, Jess gave in and released her feet with a huge grin on his face. "Welcome back, happy Rory."

She rolls her eyes and reaches out to smack his knee. Only then does she notice how close they are now—her thighs are on his! She blushed, hoping Jess would just see it as the aftermath of some intense tickling and laughter. Oh, Jess definitely noticed. Seeing their positions too, he stilled and waited, curious as to how she would react. He hoped, he hoped, he hoped...

She clears her throat and retracts herself, much to his dismay. He cleared his throat too, and awkwardly reached for his laptop again. The atmosphere around them changed, and Rory hates it, desperately wanting it back to the way it was. Then she remembers the reason she invited him in the first place, and that makes her face a bit brighter.

"Hey, Jess?" He hums in response, his fingers clicking rapidly on his keyboard.

"Will you edit my book?" She asks in a hushed voice, and that makes him face her instantly.

"What?" His voice is full of disbelief, and she smiles softly.

"Well, you could be my book editor! You’re more than qualified to do this, and I… I trust you. I trust you with this, with my story. You already know a large chunk of it, so it’s like seeing it from another person’s perspective, right? There’s no one else I would like to be my book editor more than you. Well, I mean, I don't know that many editors, actually. But you’re here, which is very convenient, really. Because-"

"Yes," he says, stopping her, and her smile grows wider. "Really?" 

"I’d love to," and now they’re staring at each other with soft smiles on their faces, and everything feels right again.

I love you.

Chapter Text

"What the hell are you thinking?!" Chris’s voice is full of disappointment, exasperation, frustration—you name it. Jess just sighs through his nose. It took him two days to call them back, all because of this exact reason. He knows what he’s going to get, and he prefers to postpone that conversation for as long as possible. Well, guess that conversation is up and rolling now.

"Jess, we’ve talked about this. She’s no good for you! She broke your heart-"

"Hey, I hurt her first. Don't put all the blame on her," Jess cuts him firmly.

"When you were a kid! A lost and hurt teenager! You gotta stop blaming yourself for everything too," Jess could just imagine him pacing their office, a hand on his forehead, as he thinks how stupid Jess is.

"I still hurt her! Badly, I may add. I left twice without saying goodbye, I dropped the fucking L bomb at her and ran away like a fucking coward, and I begged her to run with me, abandoning her school and dreams in the process! So yeah, of course I’m gonna blame myself. I’m the worst fucking boyfriend to ever exist, so suck up every single bad thing you wanna say about Rory because we all damn knew I’ve done so much worse." His chest is heaving now, his heart bursting with self-deprecation and the urge to defend her, to protect her. No one can say a bad thing about Rory Gilmore, not on his watch.

God, he is such a hypocrite. Just two days ago, he was lecturing Rory to let go of the past. Look at him now.

"Jess, you can't kill your past; it's what makes you yourself now. You can’t beat your young self constantly, man. God, when will you ever understand? You were damaged; the world beat you and kicked you every single time, so you fought through it. That was your way to fight it, and look at you now! A good man, a published author, co-owns a successful publishing house—" Jess rolls his eyes there "—and you’ve grown so much. Fate put you in the bad place back then, and yeah, perhaps not all your decisions were the best-" Jess snorts darkly, but lets him continue his rant of encouragement.

He loves them; he really does, but sometimes their love and affection are too overwhelming. They believe in him so much, as a writer and a person, and it fills him with (sometimes) too much positivity. There are days when he wishes he could just be sad and diminish himself without people telling him how awesome he is. This is one of those days.

"- but her? Seeing you as a full-grown, responsible adult who made a name for himself, a guy that told her to put her life together, a guy that clearly still has feelings for her then, and still ran back to her cheating boyfriend?! Who the fuck does that? This girl apparently does." Chris’s voice became more urgent, desperate for him to see it the way he does. Well, Jess is stubborn.

"You realize you're having such a friend bias here, right?" Jess’s voice is tired, wanting to be finished with this conversation as soon as possible. 

Chris went silent for a moment, "I know, I know. You’re not perfect, and she isn’t either, but it’s just so hard to forgive her after that night... You were so crushed, man. I’ve never seen you so sad, so hurt . Matt and I basically just promised ourselves to hold a grudge against whoever made our dear friend Jess Mariano here heartbroken. I, we didn’t promise to hate her, but what she did is not okay."

"I deserved that," "No, you don't!" "I really do." "Dude, shut the fuck up, you don't."

Jess knows this conversation is going nowhere, so he stopped an argument in the back of his throat. "Look, we hurt each other; that’s true. But now things are different, Chris; we’re not 21 anymore, it’s frickin ages ago, and time can change people. I’m the living proof of that, so why can't you believe in her too?" Jess glances at the window above the diner, just in time to see Rory walk toward the diner. He needs to be down there to serve her, not here.

Chris sighs deeply. "You still love her? Really?" and Jess nods—even though he knows damn well he couldn't see that.

"I do. God knows why, but I do. But I’m okay. This thing between us won’t ever happen, but I love her. I want to be there for her, here. So yeah, this is my life now," he summarizes flatly, uninterested.

Chris snorted. "You’re not okay," he says matter-of-factly, and Jess just hums in response.

"Well, I will be," and with that, he hangs up. He shakes his head and stretches for a bit. Then he rushed downstairs. He has customers to serve, and one particular brilliant blue-eyed girl must be waiting for coffee right now.

***

"You’re what??!!"

"Lane, I’m not gonna repeat myself again. I did it, like, four times already." She rolled her eyes at the sight of her jaw-slack friend. Lane hits herself in the head twice before facing Rory again with wide eyes. 

"Wow, I’m just, sorry. Wow…" She leans back, her voice still full of wonder. "You’re pregnant, Rory."

"I’m fully aware, thanks." Her hand goes on her abdomen, and she caresses it for a while. God, she’s pregnant. It still feels kinda surreal.

"Are you... okay?" Lane’s eyes are etched with concern, and Rory feels a surge of affection towards her best friend.

She smiles at her and opens her arms for a hug. "I’m fine. Or I’ll be fine eventually," she says, curling herself in Lane’s embrace, feeling the warmth and love radiating through her. They hugged in silence, and it felt nice. Rory made a mental note to hang out with Lane more. Now, she couldn’t even remember how she managed to be apart from Lane for so long when she dropped out of school. 

"Is it Jess?" That question comes out so suddenly, and it makes Rory jump from Lane’s arms wide-eyed.

"What? No! No, it’s definitely, most definitely not Jess’s. What, I mean, why would you think that?" Her voice is frantic, bewildered.

Lane senses her panic and immediately wants to calm her down. "No, I don't know! It’s just that you guys are close these days, so I just assume... you know what? Nevermind. Forget that I said that. Not Jess, not Jess..." Lane's hands are back on her arms, rubbing her gently.

Rory let out a small chuckle. "Yep, not Jess. I don't know why that’s my reaction, actually. I’m chill, cool, cold as a cucumber," then she does that inhale-exhale exercise, which makes both of them laugh.

After the laughter subsides, Lane finally asks the question, "Who is it then?" Her voice is tender—no pressure, no judgment. Rory sighs and shakes her head.

"Logan. Huntzberger. Which is stupid, actually. He’s out there, what, engaged? Carefree, not knowing the mistress he cheated on his fiancee with is pregnant with his child. At first, I said to myself that I was never gonna tell him because it would make both of our lives harder. But now… I don't know. Jess said I should tell him. Should I tell him? Uhh, this is so messed up." She buries her face in her hands, missing Lane’s shocked expression entirely.

"Wait, Jess knew?" That makes Rory rise up with a shy smile. "Uhh… yeah. He kinda found out by accident. I left my purse in Luke’s truck the other day, and inside it were the ultrasound photos. He saw them, and here we are! Brilliant, isn’t it?" she asks, giving her a weak thumbs up.

"Speaking of ultrasound photos," Rory said once she realized she forgot something, then rummaged through her bag and grabbed an envelope. "You wanna see the baby?" Rory asks, her eyes sparkling.

Lane squeals in excitement, nodding furiously. They spent at least two hours ogling at the picture, talking about the possible gender, name, dreams, talents, and scenarios this baby will have and get through. It was like their girl talks about boys when they were teenagers, but the topic now, when they’re at the ripe age of 30-something, is infants. Adults, right? 

"Whatever it is, Rory," Lane says once they are on her doorstep, "I will always be here for you. Whatever you need, okay? Absolutely anything at all, and if you want some sort of guidance as to how you’ll be doing this, I’m here too. Well, perhaps Lorelai is enough, but it won't hurt to have a second source, right?" Lane chuckles at that, and Rory wraps her arms around Lane again.

"Love you," Rory mumbles, feeling her smile against her cheek. After a while, she finally let go and saw Lane’s eyes water a little.

"Love you too." She walks home again in peace after that.

***

There was a knock on her door, startling her and causing her hands to do a keyboard smash on her manuscript. She let out a frustrated grunt, deleted the whole thing, and looked up to see the clock. It was 8 p.m., which is a weird time for visitors. Mom and Luke won't be home for two more days, so she wasn’t actually expecting anyone.

Slowly, she approaches the door with a fork in her hand. Dramatically, then, she flung the door open and raised her fork to whoever was out there. (un)surprisingly for her, it was Jess. With a... care package?

He raised one eyebrow at her, amusement all over his face. "I hope you didn’t intend to attack anyone who knocks on your door with a fork, Gilmore. Cause they’ll definitely be traumatized," he nods his head with a sad face, making her mind fuzzed because it’s eerily similar to when he said, ‘I promise I’ll speak slowly,' that night when Dean was on the way. It almost made her give up and kiss him already back then.

Weird to see the effect still sticks. The thought made her feel lightheaded, and Rory actually poked him with said fork.

He faux gasped at that, and she just gave him a pointed look and strided back to her previous position on the kitchen table. Jess follows her inside, snickering slightly. The care package sits between them on the table, now undoubtedly arranged by Jess himself if the amount of boxed ice cream in cones that’s showing from the top has anything to say about it.

"So… I’m just here to deliver this, really. I thought, maybe, you didn’t have anything to eat, and Luke’s still away, so I took it as my responsibility to feed you. So yeah, here it is." His hands gestured to the box, then went to his pockets, and he shifted from left to right with his feet. He seemed nervous, and it made her nervous too.

"Oh… thanks. Yeah, I haven't ordered anything yet, so this is perfect, actually. Yeah, thanks, Jess," she looks up at him, and he gives her a tight smile and a nod. The air thickened again, and he thought perhaps it was best for him to just go.

"Okay, so… I’ll leave you to it, then. Relax, I guess there’s enough to feed eight people here, and hey, you are eating for two Gilmores... So four then," the teasing’s back, and it makes her shoulders loosen. She rolls her eyes at him, and he smirks at that.

He claps his hand behind his back and starts to back off towards the door again. "Night, Rory." But the sight of him going away through her door makes her uneasy. So without any thought, she called out his name, "Hey, Jess?"

He turns around, a quirk of a smile threatening to slip out. "Yeah?" 

She nibbles her inner cheek for a while before responding again. "You know, with you around, it’ll be down to two." She smiles at him as he walks to her again, finding herself holding his gaze as he does so. He understands what that means, but it’s not that Rory really wants to hide it.

He laughs shortly to the floor before looking up at her and shrugging off his jacket. He’s genuinely smiling—no grin, no smirk—just an authentic crooked Jess Mariano smile, and it makes her feel warm. "Yeah, okay,"

***

"You’re cracked," she laughs out loud, throwing popcorn at his head across the couch. Jess opens his mouth and actually manages to catch a few with it; most of it still falls down around his hair and shirt, though.

Jess laughs too, showcasing his teeth a little bit now. "Hey, I’m just saying that Alcott shouldn’t make Jo marry. She’s a bit too good for any man in this world, and it’s not like she needs any,’’ he says, raising his hands in surrender while Rory scowls at him.

"Maybe, but Bhaer was such a sweetheart, and it’s good that Jo actually gets the best of both worlds—dream and family," she finished dreamily. "Not gonna lie, when I first read Little Women, I wanted Jo and Laurie to be together very badly," She’s not finished talking yet, but Jess is already throwing popcorn at her head this time. She kicked his feet in protest.

"But," she forcefully spits the word out, as if trying to shove it down his throat, "When I got to the end of the book and basically reread it every week or so for two months after, I can see why they aren’t each other’s forever in a romantic way. Also, he and Amy are adorable," she finished with a smile.

He hums, "But everything isn’t about romance." He points at her with a cheeto, stating his point. Rory huffs, "I know that. Sue the girl for being a romantic." He laughs at that, and the sound of it makes her smile. She realizes she wants to hear his laugh more.

They were eating at the table. They ate silently, sometimes stealing glances when the others weren’t looking, and chatter flew here and there between chews and swallows. It was then, when they finished eating all the heavy meals and were left with snacks, that Jess excused himself to go home again. Rory didn’t want the night to end (didn’t want him to go) , so she blurted out that he should stay for a little while and maybe they could watch something on TV. He’s confused for a second, but he can’t really say no to Rory Gilmore these days.

So here they are now, her feet on his lap all over again, and a movie or whatever it is on the screen long forgotten as they indulge in one of the things that made them who they are today: book talk. It’s easier, always a safe place between them, a safe topic. No complicated confusing feelings and no haunting past could ruin this.

"Huh, can’t relate," he salutes her, eyes scanning the TV for the first time since she turned it on. 50 first dates , not half bad, he thinks.

She gasps so loudly at that, bracing herself up from the couch to sit straight. Her mouth is opened wide, with a smile hinting around its edges. Jess furrows at her. "What?"

"What?!" she nearly screamed, her face in full disbelief and amusement. "What?! You tell me what, Mariano. None of that masculinity bullshit. You are so a romantic!" she squeals, pointing both of her fingers at him. Jess looks at her like she’s crazy. "What?"

"Oh, come on!" she’s exasperated now, prepping her fingers and starting to count on them while stating her proofs. "You stole a poetry book from a girl you just met and annotated in it, you spent 90 bucks on a lunch basket made by a girl you know damn well can’t cook anything whatsoever, you destroyed a snowman for a girl, you came back to a crazy town you hated so much just because of that girl, and the list goes on! So don’t deny it. You’re a romantic, deal with it." She lets out a huff of air from talking for that long without taking any breaths. She leans back on the couch with a satisfied grin.

Jess is starstruck, processing every word she lets out in that more-so speech. After a while, though, he chuckles, making her face him again after eyeing the TV for a little.

"Well, I don't know if that counts, actually. I'm pretty sure I wouldn’t do all that stuff if the girl wasn’t you." He says it so casually, and that makes her frustrated. Why does he do that all the time? Dropping all these sweet poetry-like lines at her like it’s just a normal part of a conversation? Like it didn’t make her insides combust and melt at the same time? Like it didn’t make her feel sad and long for something she knew would never come true?

"Stop doing that," she thinks out loud, but she’s actually glad for that. It’s best to just rip it off.

"Doing what?" he still asks, even though he’s pretty sure he knows what she means.

"You know what. It’s just... best to just, just stop, okay?" She’s pleading now, and it makes his heart shatter.

He nods, "Sorry, can’t help it." There it is again, and it makes her mad and makes her crave more at the same time. God, these hormones

The air feels cold—she retracts her feet from his lap in the middle of that conversation—and she shivers. She hugs herself instead, ignoring the urge to just curl up by his side. Besides, friends hug each other all the time, right?

Friends , her mind scoffs. They could never just be normal friends again, couldn't they? They’re always tip-toeing this gray area of... whatever it is the unlabelled thing between them. It’s comfortable sometimes, that's true, but you could never reach the border of said area. You could never accidentally set a toe outside that line. If you do, you endanger the whole thing, and neither of them wants that. There is no need for risks; you need to work and take advantage of what you have.

He cleared his throat and cleaned the crumbs that were on him as he stood up. "So uh, I’ll better go," he gestures to the door, and she could just nod. Giving him a small smile but no intention to get up and walk him to the door this time. He gets the signal, and he feels betrayed by himself when he actually felt sad about it.

He returns the small smile and walks slowly to the door. Just at the last second, as he stood there, he talked to himself, fully aware that she could still hear his voice, "I don't regret anything. I fucked up a lot, but I met her. That’s a good reward, makes it all worth it," and he closed the door behind him, leaving Rory gaping at the sight with tears in her eyes.

***

She woke up that day with determination in her eyes. She showered clean, she ate pop tarts, and she braced herself. Thank God Luke and Lorelai are home now; she needs her mom's emotional support through all this. Luke is safe and out of hearing distance, as she and her mom rounded up her phone on her bed.

Lorelai squeezes her hands, patting her head and swiping a stray strand of hair off her cheeks. "Are you sure you want to do it now? You could just do it tomorrow, or next week, or next month…" Rory smiled slightly at her mom’s words. She shakes her head, though. Again, she’s determined. As soon as she’s done with this, the better.

"I’m sure," she says, nodding at her mom, trying to seem strong.

"Then you got this, sweets. I’m right here with you," Lorelai said with an encouraging smile, squeezing both of her shoulders this time, trying to transfer any ounce of bravery and resilience to her daughter’s body.

Rory nods again, and exhales as she dials the number. It rings once… twice… three times... She doesn't know if she needs to be relieved or upset that he didn’t answer.

But then both Gilmores hear a click, indicating that the line is connected. Rory freezes when she hears his voice, still all playful and laced with charm—the voice of the man she once loved. Or still love? No. The fondness is still there, perhaps, but definitely not love anymore. She relaxes when the thought crosses her mind, knowing in every inch of her body that it’s true.

"Hey, Ace. What’s up?"

Chapter Text

"Yeah," The line has been silent for five minutes now. All she could hear was Logan’s breathing. Hard. 

"Wow, Rory, and you called me... so it’s safe to assume I’m the father, huh?" His voice is flat, even though she’s sure he’s trying to joke around a bit. He’s always trying to make her smile, you've got to admit it. Even though those ways are sometimes ineffective and whatnot, he tries. She did too, now. A little one.

"Yep," she pops the ‘p’, nervous energy starting to flow free. Lorelai’s hands haven’t stopped squeezing hers since the beginning. She’s grateful for that.

"Look, I don’t expect a lot, okay? I know you have your own life, a fiancee, a job, a family, and a... Just, I’ll understand if you don’t want to be a part of this, seriously, it’s okay. I just thought that you should know," she exhales, searching her mother's eyes for an approval sign. Lorelai smiles softly at that, and that makes Rory feel a little lighter.

"No! I mean, I’m happy for you, for... us," she winced at that. "And of course I wanna be there for the baby. For you too. It’s just-"

"You can’t, it’s complicated, it’s too hard, believe me, Logan, I’m accustomed to all this." She hoped she didn’t sound too harsh on that, even though she could hear him take a sharp breath there.

"It’s complicated, yes. But I’ll find a way, okay? I promise. I want to be there, I really do." His voice is determined, but she still has doubts.

"What about Odette? You can’t leave her, Logan. I’m not gonna let you leave her just for this," she felt tears in her eyes, and she cursed herself for being too emotional.

"I… I don't know now. I just, I can’t let you do this alone, Ace. I can't live knowing that." She can hear him pacing the room now, judging by his breaths. Uneven, frustrated. She feels bad for him.

"But you have to. We’ll be okay, Logan. I’m not cutting ties here. You can visit whenever you can, and we’ll be here welcoming you." Her smile felt bittersweet. Well, the whole situation is. "We both know you can’t be here. Like, actually be here, constantly, every day. I’m not gonna be sour about that, Logan. I’m not asking you to give up your life for me. I can’t live knowing that I did that." Again, she felt tears flowing freely now. She didn’t bother to wipe it off.

"What if I want that?" he murmurs after a long beat of silence, and she feels her throat tighten.

Logan is a good man. She’ll be very happy if he tries to be here for their child, to be there during their big moments like their birth, holidays, graduations, birthdays, and so on. But a life with him? She has no doubt that if she asks Logan to just drop everything and be with her, he’ll do just that. But she can't, and she finds herself not wanting to either. The thought sounds rude, huh?

He’s a great boyfriend. He treated her very well, like a princess, one might say. Logan is the kind of man you seek if you want to know the fun and adventurous parts of life. He helped her find that, and she’s forever grateful for that, for him. He’s the perfect college boyfriend—the perfect puzzle piece for that part of her life. But now... the puzzle’s finished, isn’t it? She’s past that, and trying to play it again will only have bad results. Her sleeping around with him and accidentally getting pregnant is one of those proofs.

She needs to move on to the next box, the next set of her life, which she has yet to complete. Logan will forever be one piece of her, but bringing him into this box will be damaging. She can’t force a piece to fit in. So she shakes her head instead.

"Logan, no. You can’t do that." Her voice sounded shaky, so she spoke further away from the phone, not wanting him to know that.

"No, Ace, I can! I really can. I can fly there right this second to be there with you and our kid. Believe me, Ace, I can," he said, sounding triumphant, like he just found the solution to all this mess. "Or! Or, I can fly both of you here! We can start a new life or something here. Just-"

"Logan," she had to cut him there. She can’t get him to think too deeply, to be convinced that they can be together again for the baby. He silenced himself and waited. She took a deep breath. "Logan, I… I don't want you to,"

Logan, a continent away from her, felt everything click. She doesn’t want to be with him anymore. His mind brought him back to graduation day. She’s rejecting him. Again. God, the feeling is still fucking painful.

"Oh," he breathes, feeling his chest hurt. That’s it, he’s not the man for Rory anymore, apparently. He hates that. He hopes that’s temporary. He can’t hate this forever. She’s ultimately right, he does have a life here, and he does care about Odette so much. It’ll hurt just as bad if he hurts her in this process. With a tight chest, he nods.

"Yeah, okay. If that’s what you want, Ace, I’m good." He felt her slip through his hands, and for the first time, he let her go. He needs to; she asked him to. Rory smiled in relief.

"It is," she agrees, and the line goes silent again. There were rustling sounds, perhaps Logan is still walking around. The imagery makes her smile.

"So, I’ll send stuff, okay? I’ll set up an account or two for them, too. Oh, and send me your doctor's appointment schedule, I want to be there once in a while. I’m gonna visit once I can, alright, Ace? I’m still not letting you do this alone." His voice is determined once again, and she remembers why she loved him once. She smiles. 

"Of course, and I’m not alone, Logan. I’m never gonna be," she says, stealing a glance at her mom, who is wearing a proud grin on her face. Logan laughs at the other end of the phone.

"Of course, how can I forget?" Both of them chuckled, and she felt the weight leaving her body slowly. She can breathe more easily now that one barrier is out of the way.

"So, umm… I have to go now. Or is there another child I need to know about?" His voice is light, and it makes her glad to assume that both of them have let go.

"No no, just this one. Bye, Logan," she slowly lowers the phone from her ear with a small, satisfied smile.

"Bye, Ace." Then the line is completely dead. She let out a huge breath as her mother's arms instantly pulled her in for an embrace.

"I’m proud of you, sweets." She whispers to her hair, but she hears enough. She smiles and tightens her arms around Lorelai.

"Yeah, me too."

***

"Tomorrow?!" Her voice is incredulous, making Luke and Lorelai jump a bit from their respective chairs. The food on the dining table shifted as the two grownups shuffled to settle themselves back into their chairs.

"That’s what he told me, yes. Why?" Luke’s looking at her funny now, but she stays agape. Now Lorelai’s attention is all on her, and it’s amazing considering they’re having dinner now. Food always wins in any other scenario, not this one, though.

"Rory? You okay there, honey?" She jabs her hand slightly with a spoon, and that seems to have revived her from whatever that was.

"What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. It’s just, he doesn’t tell me that. Yet, at least," she mumbled the last part, scooping her food to find something to do. Again, food wins.

Luke and Lorelai share a look, and he sighs. "Well, maybe he’ll tell you tomorrow. He’s not going for an early start anyway. You still have plenty of time on your hands, right?" Luke asks pointedly, and she just nods.

"Yeah, plenty of time," she said bitterly, which made both Luke and Lorelai frown. Shortly after that, the dinner is over, and she excuses herself to go to her room. She needs rest and to stop thinking about how she will confront Jess in the morning.

***

She’s his first customer. The bell on top of the door chimes loudly as she practically stomps in. The diner isn't even officially open yet, but he’s always happy to see her. He was about to greet her, but then he rethought that as soon as he saw the hard look on her face. She stopped in front of the counter and crossed her arms, looking at him with a mad expression. He starts to smile a little. He didn’t mean to, but she’s adorable. Sue him.

"Good morning to you too," he says with a grin. "What’s with the stern face?"

"Why didn’t you tell me you were going back to Philadelphia today?" With that, the grin disappears. She spits those words out, actually mad at him now.

He gulps visibly, adams apple bobbing under his chin. "Uhh, I was gonna tell you today, actually. I’m going for a night ride. Seeing you came here at..." He looks at the clock, "Six thirty in the morning, I reckon I still have plenty of time to tell you," he tries to reason with her, hoping it’ll work. He should have known better.

"You can’t give me a heads up like, two days ago? Heck, yesterday? I want to know, Jess. You can’t leave without saying goodbye again," she shrugs her shoulders, slumping to a stool, and holds her eyes to his.

Jess is paralyzed for a moment, and when he regains his senses, he sighs. "Okay… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just thought you'd had enough on your plate, so I just didn’t want to bother you," he says, returning her gaze. She breaks eye contact first, grabbing a coffee mug.

"Well, I've had enough on my plate these days," she fidgets with the cup between her hands. "Besides, you bothering me is always welcome," she smiles and looks up at him. Jess is just relieved that she isn’t mad. He returns her smile and takes the cup out of her hands, taking off to make a batch for her.

"A fan of decaf these days?" he smirks. Light teasing with Rory Gilmore is an amazing way to start the day. 

She crinkles her nose. "Ew, never! Ugh, the one thing I missed the most about not being pregnant is proper coffee. Seeing people sipping their to go cups makes me so jealous," she pouts, and he laughs at the sight.

"Really? No morning sickness isn’t missed? Cramps, maybe?" He moves around a lot, grabbing a pot of beans or messing with the machine. She likes watching him there.

"What, did you look those up?" Her eyes twinkled in another memory. This time, though, Jess doesn’t bother denying it. "Maybe," he said simply, his eyes still on the machine, now extracting the coffee right in front of them both.

She just smiles at that, "No, not yet. I don't know, I’m anticipating a lot of things, but everything still feels the same. So it’s weird when I remember that there’s another human being inside of me," she finished with a huff.

"Huh, well, it is still early. You’re what, one month now?" She hums as if saying yes. He’s finally finished with her coffee, and Rory claps her hands when it's handed to her.

She didn’t drink it immediately, though, making Jess confused. She got this weird urge to tell him what happened the other day. Well, it’s nice to know other people's opinions and perspectives, right?

"I talked to Logan again," and then she thought perhaps she shouldn’t have started with that. Jess tenses, preparing himself for the next part of this conversation.

"I told him about the baby, and it went... well? I didn’t know what to expect, actually. But it all went smoothly," she nods, moving her hands and seeing the surface of the coffee splash a little.

Jess clears his throat, "Oh, that’s good. So... would he be here?" He tries to even out his voice, trying not to falter or explode. He’s not sure yet. 

She nods again, "Yeah, he would. He offers to just… come here and be with me, actually. Or me coming there to be with him," she said, dropping her shoulders, and he felt the entire room closing up on him. He didn’t know why he felt this way; he shouldn’t be allowed to. Yet. 

"But I said no, obviously. I can’t do that to him. Besides, I kinda dont… want… to?" Her voice is uncertain, and it scares the crap out of him. Does she want to get back together with that guy?

"It’s just, he’s in the past, right? Bringing him around and dragging him along the way until now has already proven to be bad. Very bad. I loved him, really,  but we really did kinda bring the worst out of one another, which sucks. The idea of this child having a complete, constant family consisting of a mom and dad who’s always there definitely sounds appealing, but if none of us is happy about it, that sounds like a living hell. For the baby, and us," she sighs deeply. He holds his breath and doesn’t want to appear to be glad of her decision.

"But he’ll be around. He won’t be like my dad, at least. He’s committed, just to the baby and not to me." She laughs lamely at that. "I sent him the doctor's schedule, he sets some stuff that can be done remotely, and there you have it. Co-parenting. Woohoo!" She cheers quietly, holding her hands in the air for a moment.

He smiles at her, and when she looks up, she finds no pity there. Just understanding. "Well, you know what's best for you, Rory. Can’t actually comment on this one. Just know that I’ll always be by your side through all this. You’ll talk, I’ll listen, and we’ll figure it out." He grabs a cloth and starts to wipe down the counter, missing the awed expression on her face. God, she’s lucky they’re ‘friends’ now. 

''Thanks, Jess," she whispers, but that’s enough for him. She brings the coffee cup closer to her nose, preparing herself for a sip. "Don’t mention it," was the simple answer from his lips. 

After sipping her coffee, her eyes are blown out. Jess smiles widely. "Pregnant women can drink caffeine, just limited to less than 12 ounces per day. You’re all set, so after this you can't drink caffeine again for the rest of the day, okay?" He winked at her and then started to walk away to the storage room.

She was about to open her mouth when she heard him yell, "And yes, I also looked it up. Enjoy your coffee, Gilmore!" and Rory grins. She sips her finally non-decaf coffee slowly, making all of those drops worthy. Yes, this is a good way to start the day.

***

She’s been writing all day, locked herself up in her room, and is determined not to go out unless she’s finished a chapter or two. The book is going well; perhaps it is a quarter finished. Now, though, after at least four hours of nonstop writing, her back aches so much. She needs to take a break, so she lays down on her bed to check her phone. Oh, a text from Logan.

Told Odette about the baby, her reaction wasn’t pretty. As expected, still sucks though. Don’t worry, I apologize constantly. I didn’t want to ruin this relationship yet again. I wanna make this right. Pray for me, please  

She sits up, feeling bad for him now. Also, she’s happy that they can text normally now, without any innuendos or a place and time to meet up. It’s refreshing, relaxing. It feels like they can be friends again. She typed out a response.

Always. Good luck, and tell her I’m sorry too. Like, constantly. I hope you guys get this right. You deserve it. If she needs reassurance, tell her I’m in no way interested in being a wall between you two. I really do wish the best for you. Talk to me if you need anything, please.

She let out a relief breath, really feeling like this thing, this dynamic between them, could work. For the sake of the baby, she rubs her stomach while smiling softly. She hears her phone chime again soon after.

Will do. Prayers and messages were received. Thanks, Ace 

She smiles at her phone before getting up from her bed. She stretches her body and sits back down on her desk. Cracking her knuckles for the millionth time that day, she resumes typing away, the air of the room swallowing her for the next hours.

***

It was 7 p.m., and Jess’s car is already packed with his luggage—just a duffel and one other carry-on, really—and he’s getting ready to do some awkward goodbye routine with everyone he knows here. 

Liz hugged him so tightly, pinching his cheeks and saying how proud she was of him. He believed her now, or at least was glad that she was trying to be a decent parent for Doula. His little sister hugged his leg and made him promise to visit soon after. He could just nod, and that makes her ecstatic. He and TJ just shared some manly pats in the back, which is more than uncomfortable for him. Oh well, this is his family now.

Now he’s in the Gilmores house, his car parked outside, and ready for the long ride ahead of him. Lorelai actually managed to pull him into a hug, ignoring his waving hands of refusal and unpleasant facial expression. The hug lasted for at least ten seconds, and Rory and Luke struggled so much to not double down in laughter at the sight.

"Safe ride, Jess," and with a first kiss on his cheek, she lets go of him. The stepfather-daughter duo actually laughs out loud now; they couldn’t help it anymore. Jess rolls his eyes and rubs his kissed cheek, making a big deal out of it. Lorelai scoffs at that.

"C’mere," now it’s Rory’s turn, immediately slinging her arms around him, hugging him as tightly as the night she cried in his arms when he found out she’s pregnant. This time, he hugged her back just as tight, burying his nose in her hair. She breathed in his scent and tried to remember it as best she could.

"I’m gonna miss you," she murmurs, and he smiles at her head. 

"I’m gonna miss you too, Ror," he whispers back, and he feels her arms tighten around him.

They hug for a little while after that, before Luke clears his throat and they suddenly remember that they’re not the only ones here. She lets go of him slowly, then just smiles at him. That alone warms his body, even though he feels cold afterwards when she retreats to her mother’s side.

"Be safe, Jess. Don’t be a stranger," then blows him a kiss that he pretends to catch. She rolls her eyes at that but grins all the same.

Then finally, Luke steps up and hugs his nephew. Jess reciprocates, putting an arm behind his back and squeezing for a split second. Luke kept him at arm's length after that hug, looking straight into his nephew's eyes.

"Proud of you, kid," he says simply, and it makes Jess’s heart soar. He smiles softly.

"Thanks, Uncle Luke," and with a final hug, Jess gets inside his car. He waved through the window before driving away, leaving the three to watch his car go for a while. 

"You know, he’s not that bad," Lorelai mumbles at that point, making Rory and Luke snap their heads at her.

"I knew it! You like him now!" Rory’s wearing a winning smile on her face, and Luke just wraps his arms around his wife.

"He really isn't."

Chapter Text

He hit send and leaned back against his chair, checking his watch for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. Beside him, Chris was peacefully asleep on the couch, his mouth open, and he could see the slight drool coming out of the corner of his mouth. He snores, which is just convenient right now. Matt was nowhere in sight; he had probably already retreated to his house some time ago. He sighs, running a hand through his already long hair. He needs to go to a barber again these days.

The email he just sent was for one of the rising authors they have assigned. Well, rising was a bit of an exaggeration. Perhaps floating is more suitable. She got the essence; she just needs a lot more actual help in the editing department. He can see her go big, just not in the near future. With a thud, he dropped his body against the other side of the couch, mimicking Chris’s position, and made himself comfortable. He might as well spend the night, seeing as he was in any way exhausted, and the thought of driving for twenty minutes to his house is simply ridiculous.

Just as his eyes started to get a bit droopy, his phone vibrated. Yes, he kept it on silent mode constantly, but now he can just feel the vibration on his butt. With a grunt, he lifts his body and reaches for his phone, ready to curse at anyone that calls him at eleven thirty p.m.

“Fuck off,” 

“Wow, didn’t know I just called the Grinch on Christmas morning." Her voice makes his eyes snap open, and a smirk grows on his lips. He arches his back to sit straighter.

“Rory?”

“Gilmore, yes. Uh… is this a bad time? Are you in a bad mood? You sounded like you wanted to barf all over the phone, and here I thought I was the pregnant one." Her voice is light, energetic, pretty weird considering the time. But it makes him smile nonetheless.

“No no, just... tired. Long day,” His feet leave the cushions, making him face the table in front of the sofa now. He rubs his eye and casts a glance beside him. Chris is still sound asleep, which is good. He didn’t want to stand up and walk away for this. His legs had enough.

“Ah, the never-ending life of an author, got it,” she says, clicking her tongue, and that made him smile for some reason.

These past months, they have been going back and forth on every single communication line you can think of. Rory has been sending him a few rough drafts of chapters in her book so Jess can read them and write his notes on them. Sometimes, they will exchange anything, really, through text messages. Luke got another debacle with Taylor? The first thing that’ll pop up in Rory’s mind is “Jess needs to hear about this”, because she’s his only source for this kind of stuff. Matt and Chris say something stupid or subjectively wrong surrounding the literature world? Jess will remind himself to ask Rory about it later`, because she’s the only voice he actually believes and yearns for—not that he says that to her. It’s a rhythm now, a part of their days. Jess is also the one Rory calls if she suffers from writer's block, and a breath of fresh air does nothing about it. Jess wonders if this is also one of those times.

“So, it’s not like I don’t like you calling, but mind if I ask the reason you decided to call me up in the middle of the night?” He hears her scoff in the line.

“It’s not even past midnight yet. Old age has really caught up to you,  Mariano."He rolls his eyes at that. "Yeah yeah, but you should not still be awake at this hour, Ror. I heard somewhere that pregnant women should be asleep for at least eight to ten hours a day. Judging by your chirpy tone, I assume you don't plan to sleep any time soon, huh?” He did. He looked it up on Google some time ago, just out of boredom .

More than 200 miles away from there, in a quiet house and a dimly lit room, Rory Gilmore smiles at her phone. “Huh, I should get going with my reading, then. Mom picked up a lot of pregnancy books from the attic. Like, a lot. They’re kinda old, though. Perhaps I should do another bookstore run in the near future." She rolls on her back, the laptop beside her forgotten.

Jess chuckles. “When you do, Gilmore, do not get distracted." She let out a bark of laughter. “Noted,” 

They went silent after that, only hearing each other's breath or the sounds they make when they move their bodies around. “You still haven’t answered my question,” Jess pointed out.

“Oh, yeah, um..." She lifts her body to sit upright, her back leaning against the headboard. “I don't know. Just bored, I guess. Can’t sleep. I tried to write, but my cursor is mocking  me."She glances at her freshly white laptop screen and grimaces.

She hears him chuckle again. “And your solution to that is to bother your friend 3 hours away?"

"Yep." She says that as if it’s obvious, and the thought of her calling him up at random times makes his heart swell. Holy shit, he is catching up with his age. “I don’t hear any complaints,” she said matter-of-factly.

He smiles, and somehow it’s as if she can feel him. “You won’t be getting any.” Rory chuckles, sighing contently against the phone. Silence envelopes them once more.

“So what, are we just gonna sit here in silence and stare at our shoes?” Jess broke the air after some time, and Rory grinned. "You, mister, have gotten sentimental."

Jess cks. “Fine. Then we’ll talk about your book's progress. I bet that’s something you’re thrilled about.” Rory groans, “Ugh, noooo, anything other than that." She flips herself out of bed, legs dangling outside of the bed frame, as she grabs a pillow and buries her face in it to let out another muffled groan.

Jess chuckles, amused. “No no no, you called your editor. You can’t escape this conversation, Gilmore,” he snickers, feeling a tad bit bad but decided to just go along with it.

“Damnit, is this what I get for calling you sentimental?” “Yup.” “I take it back!” “No can do. Words are said, feelings are  hurt." “You’re a grump." “And I demand a chapter at the end of this week.” “You can’t do that!” She gasped, but a smile was playing on her lips. This is fun.

He grins. “Yeah yeah, now talk."

With a grumble at the start, she began talking. Well, it’s more like a rant, actually. She talks less about her book's progress and more about her life’s situations or conditions that encourage or delay her writing process. Naturally, she rambles and can’t stay on topic for more than three minutes. Naturally, she ends up telling him stories and events that've been happening in Stars Hollow. Naturally, she vented about how now the whole town knows that she’s pregnant and she needs to avoid Miss Patty touching her stomach every time she passes her dance studio. Naturally, she even tells him about her correspondence with Logan and how he seemed to be mending things with his fiancee (he tries so hard not to scoff at that. He succeeded). 

Naturally. It all comes tumbling out of her easily. It’s always easy with Jess. She didn’t need to be self-aware of how much she was spilling; she knew he would listen to her every word. She didn’t need to be mindful of what she was saying; he wouldn’t judge a thing. He wouldn’t make those weird faces people make if they’re uncomfortable with her words or if they think she talks too much. This is Jess; she didn’t need to worry about all that. She’s comfortable. He’s one of her people. He knew her. 

She didn’t know how long she'd been talking. Jess doesn’t interrupt her, just occasional chuckles or hums to tell her he’s still there, listening. It doesn’t matter to him. He loves her voice; he could listen to her all day. He’s well aware that their first topic going into this conversation is well forgotten, but he won’t complain.

“Wow, how long have I been talking?” She finally says after catching her breath. Jess glances at the clock on the other side of the room. “Your story about Kirk opening a barber checks the twenty-five minute mark. Also, swan Kirk?” He shudders at the thought. The day a swan beaked him is still etched in his memory.

“Yeah, the one with a pink bow. You should’ve seen him trying to put the bow on its neck. I’m pretty sure he has permanent scars on his left arm now.” Rory says it with sympathy. “Mom patched him up, so I’ve seen them. They’re concerningly red at the time,” Jess’s stomach churned at the visual.

“Ugh, stop. I don’t need those kinds of information, like, ever,” he said, pinching his nose. She laughs at that, and he scores himself for making her let out that beautiful sound. After that, comfortable silence envelopes them. Jess relaxes again on the couch, and Rory does the same on her bed, stretching her back and legs like a cat. She picks up her laptop and puts it on her lap, staring helplessly at the screen. A thought comes to her head.

"So... any plans to visit the Hallow anytime soon?"

He grins. “What, miss me? It’s only been, what, three months, Gilmore,” This time, she scoffs. “I’m gonna have to tell you, that is a very long time! But sure, whatever you say to make you happy, Mariano. Let’s just say I do miss you, but surely I’m not the only one!” She explains. “I’m sure Luke would just be eager to see you again, as now you’re basically his pride and prized person, and Doula! God, she even asked me about whether you’re coming to visit soon or not."

Jess smiles, remembering just the other day when Liz and Doula called him, asking the exact same question. With Liz on the line, he wasn’t that comfortable confirming anything, nor did he actually want to. He evaded her questions and broached off the subject of him being in Stars Hollow. Doula obviously whines, but with a promise of loads of comic books and cheese steaks, she relents.

“Yeah, I know." He left it there, not knowing what to tell her. Sure, he wants to go; the prospect of seeing Luke and Rory again is absolutely tempting. But what would he do there? See, this is where his heart is in a deep, deep dilemma. On one hand, he didn’t want to be the guy who would just wait like the lovesick puppy he is, for the girl who’s obviously got a lot of things on her mind, pretty sure none of them are about him. He did not want to intensify anything he’s feeling right now. That will do no good for himself, and seeing Rory and being physically close to her again in Stars Hollow will only do that. But on the other hand, that is exactly the thought that’s been running through his mind for the longest time: seeing Rory again and being just anywhere near her. He misses her; there’s no point in denying that. He’s pathetic. He couldn’t even word it properly in his head. So much for being a writer.

“So?” She says after a moment of silence.

“So what?” He says dumbly, and he can practically hear her eyes roll.

“Come on, Jess. Are you visiting soon or what?"

He rubs the back of his neck, seriously thinking about it right now. There really is no harm, he guesses. Well, aside from the elephant in the room, he already knew he was screwed; what’s more he can’t take? He calculates fast, his eyes flicking between the calendar on the wall and his laptop bag on the table. Definitely not tonight; that’s just plain crazy. But yeah, perhaps he could squeeze in a visit. Pretty sure Matt and Chris won't mind, or at least they’ll reluctantly agree while giving him those looks of pity. That conversation is one thing he’ll like to postpone for the longest time.

With a huge exhale, he finally answers, “Fine. Sure, yeah, I’ll visit soon. Probably next week."

Rory couldn’t hold the big grin that’s growing on her face. “Oh, goody! Luke will be stoked, and Doula, obviously. Dare I say my mom as well?” She can feel him scowling on the other end.

“Wouldn’t bet on it, no." She chuckles at that, but decides not to push. “Also, maybe don’t tell either Luke or Doula yet?"

“Aww, were you planning on surprising them? That’s sweet of  you.

‘Sweet’ was something he still needs to get used to being called. But when it came from her, he couldn’t help but smile a little. “Well, no. Just not wanting them to make a big deal out of this is more of my intention. But sure, surprise is one way to put  it.

“Either way, your secret’s safe with me."

“Thanks, Ror,” He smiles all the same, and they get silent again, up until he can hear her yawning. “Get some sleep, Gilmore. At least do so for the baby. Both of you need it." His tone is soft, like he genuinely worries. Well, he does. She knows he does.

She rubs her eyes and yawns again; a soft smile still grazes her lips. “Yeah, I think I should go to sleep. Thanks, Jess. For… all of this. Everything,” 

“Didn’t know what I did to deserve a thank you, but sure. Anytime, Ror. Your voice is always welcome; you know that. Now, sleep. Don’t worry too much about the book, will you?” 

Rory wanted to argue the ‘didn’t-know-what-I-do’ point, knowing he’d done a whole lot more. A simple ‘thank you’ didn’t even feel enough, but she knows he wouldn’t budge. Instead, she settles for, “Ugh, you’re bossy."

His response is just a low laugh. It made the pout on her face disappear in an instant. “Bye, Jess,” she whispers for some reason. “I guess I’ll see you next week?"

“Yeah, see you then." With that, she ended the call, leaving Jess to only hear the beeping of the line cut. He exhales and runs his hand to his face, feeling a bit defeated but still can’t help but feel a warm sensation in his stomach, knowing next week he’ll see Rory again, and Luke, and Doula.

He settles back to the sofa, reaching out to the blanket that’s draped around Chris, intending to spread it out more so they can share it. When he glanced at Chris’s face to find out he’s wide awake and staring at him with a heavy look in his eyes, Jess nearly jumped out of the couch.

“Jeez, man! Creep much?” Jess says before pulling the blanket entirely off of him. Chris snatched the blanket back, making it so they could properly share it. Jess grunts, but let it be; at least he’s not going to freeze to death tonight. “How long have you been awake anyway?” he finally says.

“Long enough to hear the last bits of that phone call with long-lost princess,” Jess furrowed his brows but was too tired to ask further questions. “Of your heart,” Chris continues, and Jess laughs humorlessly at his poor attempt at a joke. Or a reference? Chris has a weird brain. Sometimes brilliant, but most times weird.

“Yeah? Well, none of your  business."He says and closes his eyes to sleep, or at least to try to.

“You know this is a bad idea, right?” Chris’s voice disturbed his effort to sleep, and now Jess is seriously considering just going home.

“Come on, man. You’re not stupid. You going there again, clearly for her sake, putting no distance, and fueling that hopeless romantic heart of yours will do no good. At all,” Chris continues, and Jess is five seconds away to grab his car keys.

“Chris, what part of ‘none of your business’ did you not understand?” He spat harsher than he intended, but Chris is unphased. He saw Jess get like this from time to time. Not the first, certainly not the last.

“Jess,” Chris says, his tone unwavering and straightforward, and Jess knows there’s no point in escaping.

“Of course I know,” he started. “Of course. But hey, I’m only breaking my heart, right? Hers is fine, peachy." Jess went silent for a moment. “As long as she’s happy, And hey, she wanted me there. I’m wanted; that thought is enough. Even though nothing more than a friendly thought,” he settles with that, closing his eyes once again, wanting nothing more than the conversation to end. 

Chris seems to get the signal; he is also leaning back to the couch with a sigh. The room has been silent for a long time, with Chris presumably asleep again. Jess is still awake, though, even though his eyes are closed. Thoughts are running around his head, making him unable to rest even a bit. He shifts, finding a more comfortable position to relax his neck. That’s when he heard Chris’s voice again.

“You know,” his voice laced with sleep, “you deserve better,” he says, and that snaps Jess’s eyes wide awake. Various arguments are on the tip of his tongue, but he was unable to utter a word. After a beat, he hears Chris snoring again. Delightful. 

Maybe. Maybe he deserves better. But here’s the thing: he doesn’t want better. He wants her. As ridiculous as that sounds, that’s the truth. With a sigh, he forces his eyes to rest, forces the thoughts to just die already, and forces his brain to shut down. He needs sleep.

Chapter Text

Rory is giddy for some reason. Her knees are slightly bouncing against the counter, and her eyes subtly flicker to look at the diner door. But of course, no subtlety, especially from her daughter, can escape Lorelai Gilmore’s gaze.

“Waiting for someone, kid?” She smiles, but her brows furrow in confusion. Her eyes also raked the door, but found nothing interesting there.

Rory snaps from her daze and faces her mother with a cheeky smile—too cheeky for it to not matter. “Huh? No, nothing. No one in particular,” she said, but her knees won’t stop bouncing. So much for nothing.

Lorelai squints her eyes, her smile still intact among her questioning gaze. “Huh, no nothing will get you this excited on a Saturday morning. Well, that is if you’re actually waiting for Kirk to make an appearance; other than that, I’m completely lost here." She sips her coffee. Rory eyed her jealously.

“I heard Swan Kirk escaped; he must be mourning right now. Not sure that’s a good diner scene,” Rory shrugged.

“Oh, my sweet innocent little child, anything is a diner scene in Stars Hollow,” Lorelai snickers, raising her glass as an emphasis.

Just then, the doorbell chimed. Lorelai swings her head around, fully prepared to welcome Kirk with a Black Swan reference. What she did not expect was Jess with a duffle bag on his shoulders, ruffling his hair, battling the wind outside.

Beside her, Rory’s knees stop bouncing, and her chair is also entirely facing the door. She’s wearing a big grin, the one Jess returns in the form of that crooked smirk he still carries ever since she knows him. Lorelai looked between them, putting every puzzle piece together. Her smile tightens. Oh, this is why her daughter’s excited. She didn’t know what to feel about that.

Jess approaches the Gilmore Girls, and once he’s within arms reach, Rory wasted no time pulling him for a hug, blissfully unaware of her mother’s strained expression.

“You made it!” She says once they parted, and Lorelai must assume that she already knows about this visit. Rory and Jess... They’ve been friendly. It doesn’t escape Lorelai’s eyes whenever they exchange words; Rory always seems all smiley afterwards. It kinda frightens her—this whole thing, the whole dynamic between them. It’s not new, which makes it even worse. It’s nostalgic, reminiscent, and the last time they’ve acted like this was when they were seventeen, before they... Lorelai didn’t even want to think about it.

“Hi, Jess! Didn’t know you were visiting,” Lorelai smiles at him, more genuine than you might think. She likes Jess now—likes him enough, at least. So it’s not entirely Hurricane Katrina if he’s in Stars Hollow. She knows Luke will highly appreciate it. The things that involve Rory are the ones she’s concerned about.

Jess shrugs but offers her a small smile. “Yeah, it’s been a while." He glances around the diner before returning his eyes to the girls, specifically Rory. “Also, she’s been whining and waiting for my arrival,” he teased, his shoulders slightly bumping hers. Lorelai tries not to wince.

Rory rolls her eyes and smacks his forearm, but the lack of a rebuttal is clear in Lorelai’s mind. Uh oh. 

Just then, Luke emerges from the kitchen, bringing a stack of pancakes and a new pot of coffee. His eyes widened with delight as he saw Jess. “Jess, hey,” He grins widely before fumbling to put the things in his hands aside. Then, he goes ahead to properly welcome his nephew with a brief hug and a pat on the back.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” he says, still smiling widely. Jess returns the smile, soft and filled with gratitude. “Yeah, it was kinda a surprise, a last-minute trip,” he answers. Rory grins at him.

"Only a surprise for us, apparently,” Lorelai mutters under her breath, inaudible to the rest of the group. Ugh, she needs to talk about this with Luke.

“Well, why don’t you join us? I’m sure you haven’t eaten breakfast yet if you got here at this hour,” Luke gushes, practically pushing him to sit, but Jess escapes his hands.

“Nah, I think I’m going to Liz’s. You know, surprise Doula or something,” Jess shrugs, but his smile is wide, and Rory knows full well that he misses his little sister just as much.

Luke, who looks satisfied with his answer, nods understandingly, “Of course, yeah. Just don’t forget to stop by while you’re here, okay?"

“Count on it. Okay, I'm going now. Later,” and he left with a nod to Lorelai, a shoulder clap to Luke, and an elbow nudge to Rory. Luke watches him go through the windows, remarking how good it is to see Jess again.

Beside them, Miss Patty and Babbette also watched him go. “My my, that Jess is growing as every woman’s fantasy these days, huh?” Babbette sighs in wonderment.

“Just look at those arms! And hair, and smile, and face, but those arms!” Miss Patty chirps up enthusiastically, ignoring a cringing Lorelai and Rory and a scowling Luke a foot beside their table.

“No, you cannot be ogling on my nephew like that, not in my diner!” Luke says loudly, making both of them jump slightly.

"Oh, come on, Luke. I have eyes. You can’t say that you don’t have an Adonis-like nephew. Also, Rory agrees, right, sugar?” Miss Patty reasons, prompting a question to Rory that makes her choke on her pancakes.

“Umm, yeah, I guess,” Rory mumbles, wiping her mouth with a napkin. Her response makes Miss Patty clap triumphantly, doing an ‘I told you so’ look at Luke.

Her response also makes both Luke and Lorelai look at her with a weird expression. Sensing an unwelcome conversation, Rory stands up from her chair, shoving her pancake remains into her mouth. “Uh, I should get going as well, then. You know, a book to write, reading to catch up on, a baby to take care of—lots of things. See you later." She kisses both Luke and her mom on the cheek quickly before going out of the door.

Luke just shakes his head and continues working on the counter, but Lorelai sits there dumbfounded, her forehead wrinkled as she analyzes what the heck happened just now. She needs to talk to Luke, but not here. In an instant, she marches behind the counter and drags Luke upstairs.

“Lorelai, what? Caesar, cover for me! I’ll be out a minute,” Luke yells as he’s dragged, but Lorelai shows no sign of remorse. Once they’re safely in the apartment, she finally lets go of his hands and goes to close the door.

Luke cocks his head to the side, confusion written all over his face. “Lorelai, what is going on with you?” His hands are on his hips, looking at her like she’s this mad woman.

She wipes his hands on her pants, finding them weirdly sweaty. Then she looks him straight in the eye, “Luke, how would you like to watch a revival?"

Luke scrunches his nose, even more confused now. “What? Please decipher your own words for me to hear. You’re starting to scare me." He approaches her, his hands going to grip her shoulders, but Lorelai moves backwards.

“Hon, I have a feeling... Jess and Rory…” Her eyes search his, begging him to get it before she needs to say anything else. Thankfully, he does, all wide-eyed as the realization dawns on him. But then he shook his head.

“No… I don’t think so. I asked Jess if he was over it—over her—and he said yes,” Luke says, but he doesn’t seem convinced. “He wouldn’t lie, right?"

“I don’t know, Luke! The amount of heart eyes and touching thrown just now suggests otherwise!” Lorelai rolls her eyes, hands on her hips, mimicking him.

“Huh,” Luke reconsiders, his mind going back to fifteen minutes ago. “Huh,” he says again, more meaningful this time. “I mean, if they do—if there is a revival,” Luke retaliates after seeing the look in her eyes. “Would it be that bad? I thought you liked Jess now." Luke says that with such softness, Lorelai’s defense falters a bit.

“I do. I do,” She paces, and Luke instantly jumps in again. “So? Jess did give her the idea about her book, and look at her now, all ambitious and willing to thrive again. He reignited that fire inside her, Lorelai. Now, I do believe that they might be... good for each other,” he finishes carefully, watching her facial shifts with every syllable.

Lorelai wanted to argue, she really did. But as her mind races, scenes after scenes dancing in her head for these past few months, she can’t think of anything to rebut, which is concerning for a Gilmore. He did, didn’t he? He made her daughter lively again, giving her something to look forward to doing every single day. Lorelai can’t hate that; she can’t ignore it either. She’s even grateful for it. He pushes her, knows what to do to get her back on track. He knew her. She gulps.

But this is Jess. Lorelai still remembers the bad days, when Rory curled up so tight with tears staining her beautiful face, arms clutching herself for dear life at nights when she allowed herself to wallow, hands didn’t even touch the giant tub of chocolate chip ice cream at hand. In an instant, Lorelai’s face was back in panic mode. Jess always had that ability to bring Rory onto cloud nine and slam her back down. Who’s to guarantee he’s not gonna do it again now?

Luke, her mind went. Luke can.

Lorelai focuses on her husband's face, eyes searching for any kind of uncertainty or doubt. None. It’s all pure belief and hope. Hope? Either way, Luke knows Jess better than she does. He trusts him now, dare she says can rely on him. He always has that glint of love and pride towards his nephew now, and she would be lying if she said it didn't warm her heart even a little bit. Just a teeny weenie bit. Of course, Lorelai believes in his judgment. How could she not?

Her shoulders slumped, a defeated sigh escaped her lips. Luke took this opportunity to approach her once more, hands on her shoulders as he looked into her eyes. “Look, it’s all just an assumption, right? Jess really did say that he’s over with this, over her, and I’d like to believe that for the time being. Besides, no matter what their status is, they’ll always care for each other; you know that. Just this time, as a couple of friends,” Luke offers, finding her eyebrows relaxing more and more.

“And if, and this is an if, if they do find their way back to each other again,” Luke prompts once more, “I’d like to believe that they’ll do it right this time,” Luke continues, with such certainty that it made her open her heart to the thought, even if it was just a centimeter wide.

Her response is just another defeated sound and a nod. Luke smiles softly and pulls her in for a kiss. Lorelai melts into him, her hands gripping the back of his neck. There, she allows herself to not think of anything else, especially about the possible round two of the Rory and Jess saga, and just enjoy her husband's lips on hers.

***

“You were saying?”

“Yep, they’re hopeless." Luke shrugs beside her as she curls up against him.

“Still think they’re a couple of friends?” Lorelai’s voice is kinda strained, but the tone of victory and being right is still there somewhere.

“What do you think?” Luke replies, as if stating the obvious. Lorelai just hums in agreement, her eyes already fluttering shut.

They just had dinner at the Gilmores house, with Jess joining them for the night. Those stolen glances, pointed stares, lingering touches—god, even Luke noticed them. How her smile or her laughter doubles up when he’s the cause of them, or how he looks at her when she’s occupied with something else, with a look that can only be described as adoration and love.

Love? My god, still? Luke couldn’t actually talk against it, seeing that he also did just that while waiting for Lorelai, but he thought Jess wasn’t gonna do the same thing as he did. He said that himself in his teenage years, and now? It’s been more than 10 years—that kid is giving him a run for his money on the pining game.

Luke sighs. Like uncle, like nephew, he guesses. He didn’t know if the phrase even goes like that. He got the girl in the end, even if it took an excruciatingly long time to achieve, but it’s worth it. Deep down, a tiny, tiny part of his heart also wishes that Jess’s case would have the same result, but hopefully they can fast-forward the process a little bit. He’d been there, and it’ll be a lie if he says it didn’t hurt a little. Luke would hate it if Jess needed to go through the same stages as he did.

He’ll be good this time. He’ll be there. He won’t screw up. They’ll figure it out.

***

“Thanks for letting me crash here,” Jess says as he receives the beer bottle.

“Pretty sure you have my mom to thank for that, but on her behalf, you’re welcome." Beside him, Rory relaxes between the cushions and pillows, sitting cross-legged on the sofa.

Jess hums, sipping his beer, and settles in deeper. “I would’ve just gone to the diner or to Liz’s, but Luke-”

“Thinks it’s already too late and insisted you just stay here overnight; I overheard the whole thing." She grins widely at him, showcasing her teeth in the process. “My bet is he just wants to spend a lot of time with you." She sings songs, her eyes going back to the TV screen.

“Yeah, that’s exactly why he’s up there sleeping with his wife, and I’m here getting comfortable on the sofa,” Jess says, rolling his eyes. Rory snorts. “Cut the guy some slack. He’s getting old."

“Ain’t that the truth?" Jess concedes, closing his eyes. Rory took that time to look at Jess, watching him from this angle. He’s peaceful—no more worried lines on the corner of his eyes, no more frowns, no more tense muscles. He seemed content with his life—kind of the opposite of herself now. Oh, how the tables have turned.

It’s as if fate is playing a prank on her. Years ago, it sent this boy to her life, like a big, nasty rainstorm with a promise of thousands of rainbows after. Throughout the course, there are times where the storm will let sunshine in, and she savors each and every moment of it. But unfortunately, the rainstorm goes on for too long before a giant wind blows it off, leaving her wrecked without delivering on its promise. Years later, the storm came back, but as a light drizzle, hydrating her dry grounds. But she abandoned that drizzle, turning her head away to another rain pour—a big, promising one.

Promises can be broken, and she would then learn again when the rain became too much and flooded her. She leaves, deciding she has enough, and moves on. But then she became dry again, and she went back to the pour, knowing full well it could drown her. It did, again, and she decided she actually had enough. It was a stupid idea to begin with, after all.

But now, here comes the drizzle, back to her life, the rainbows as promising as ever they're visible. But she was already drowning, and it took time for her to let all the water seep in before she could welcome it back into her life. She sighs. She hates this; she hates that she can’t open up again. She’s not ready yet.

She didn’t even realize she'd been staring at him this whole time until he opened his eyes and turned his head, catching her in the act. She didn’t avert her eyes, and neither did he. His eyes are warm yet deep, filled with comfort and wit. She hopes her eyes didn’t give away anything. They hold their gaze for what feels like forever, until he smiles softly before closing his eyes again and going back to a state of slumber.

She let out a breath of relief; she didn't know why she even held one in the first place. She observes him again. His hair is longer than it was at the wedding, similar to last summer when he brought the book idea to life. Rory refuses to fight the urge to brush a few strands away from his face; featherlight touches barely even touch his skin. Jess shifted but doesn’t seem to realize her actions.

(He definitely did. His acting skills have just gotten better over the years)

Taking her hand away, she settles deeper on the couch, her eyes getting a bit droopy too. The feigned noise of the television acts as a soft lullaby, coaxing her to peaceful rest. The temptation was too real, and her limbs suddenly felt too tired to stand up and go to her room. So she leans back and closes her eyes, letting the dark swallow her whole.

***

She woke up with a trail of drool on the corner of her mouth, a sore back, and her head on his shoulder. She looks up, finding him still sleeping, his mouth open a bit. Huh , she thought. It was kind of adorable if her back pain wasn’t so distracting. She brushes the marks away from her face as she tries to move. Nope, wrong sleeping position indeed. Carefully, yet painfully, she gets up from the sofa, making him shift a little bit, his hands going to her previous position. She tries not to focus on that fact as she stretches her back. Ugh, remind her to never sleep straight up on the sofa ever again.

She goes to the kitchen, finding Luke already awake and shuffling around. She startled him as he looked up from the coffee maker.

“Jesus, did I wake you?” Luke finally asks after seeing that it’s just her. Rory grins sheepishly. “No, my back kinda did."

“Ah, yes. You two look… cozy,” Luke drawls, flicking his eyes to the living room. Rory stood still, curious. “Minus your back, of course,” he continues, busying himself again with anything at hand.

Rory sighs helplessly. “Luke, you know there’s nothing between me and Jess, right? Like, nothing at all. You have nothing to be worried about." She mindlessly answers, hoping to calm Luke down, and slides down to the chair, cradling an empty cup between her hands.

The opposite, Luke tenses. “Why should I be worried?” He questions her, looking at her straight in the eyes.

Rory freezes, taken aback by his response. She has nothing on her tongue, so she just stares at him with a dumbfounded expression. Luke sighs, running his hands through his face. “Look, some of the townspeople still see him as this devil reincarnate, but I do kinda not expect that you’re one of them,” Luke stated.

In an instant, Rory tenses too. “Of course I don't; I never did! You know I don't." Her voice falters at the end, staring at Luke with disbelief.

Luke huffs, “Then why do you think I should be worried with the prospect of something going on between you two? I know now that if that ever happens, Jess wouldn’t make those dumb mistakes he made back then.” He says all that without looking her in the eye, doing absolutely anything to avoid them.

“I’ve seen the kid lots of times, probably more than you, seeing as you’re around the country and globe at one time,” Rory winces at that, “and I’ve seen him grow. To his best self, to the person I always knew he could be. So no, I wouldn't have to worry because he wouldn’t do anything that requires me to worry about both of you. Because he’ll do it right this time." Luke finishes, and Rory is slightly agape.

The kitchen is silent for a long time, her mind racing and searching for words to say. Luke is halfway from exiting the kitchen when Rory speaks again, “I believe in him. I always did, even back then. Even more now. I’ll always will,” she says softly, making Luke’s shoulders relax. “You’re right, you won’t have to worry. I... he’ll be good. I know he will; any woman will be lucky to have him now.” She nods at herself, trying to ignore the sour taste in the tip of her tongue when she imagines Jess with someone else.

Luke sighs and turns around to face her once again. He just nods, breathes out a vague ‘Yeah,’ and shrugs his shoulders. But then he says, “But hey, I guess I shouldn’t be worried after all, huh? As you said, there’s nothing going on between you two, right?"

Her breath hitches, but she steadies herself. With a simple shake of her head, she answers the question, not trusting her lips to do it. Luke nods. “And will there ever be?” He asks again, and Rory really wishes she was still sleeping on the couch. Don’t care if her back hurts; she just wants an out right now.

“I…” She opened her mouth to answer, but then Lorelai came in. “Ah, the love of my life and my other half are having a chit chat in the kitchen. What a wonderful way to start the day,” she says dreamily before giving Luke a peck and sliding next to Rory, demanding a coffee this instant. Both Luke and Rory know that this conversation is over for the time being.

Will there ever be?

Goddamnit, she doesn’t know! It would be a lie if she said it wasn’t tempting (it’s extremely tempting), but the water...

She glances at her now visibly swollen belly, and she knows she has to wait.

Chapter Text

Doula was ecstatic when he came by close to noon. He has been in the diner all morning, helping Luke and reading when he has the time. Now, though, Luke practically forces him out and about into the wilderness of Stars Hollow, not wanting his nephew to spend the rest of his trip confined in Luke’s. Now, Doula was blabbering about the books he brought yesterday; it seemed like she inherited his quick reading skills as well. She bounced up and down, not even letting him properly get inside the house. Jess smiles in amusement, flicking an eye for help at Liz, who was standing behind her with a soft smile on her face.

“Oh! Honey, at least let Jess come in first,” Liz finally says, pulling at Doula’s shoulders to let her son in. Doula finally comes to her senses and takes a step back, not decreasing her lengthy talk.

Jess smirks, but then Liz practically ambushes him with a mom hug, swinging their bodies left to right. Jess tries not to flinch, forcing a smile for Doula’s sake, who’s been watching them with a twinkle in her eyes. Afterwards, Liz pinches his cheeks affectionately.

“My boy is home for the weekend. I could not be more grateful,” she says dreamily, finally letting go of his face.

Home . Huh, where is that? Home hasn't found him yet, he supposed. Still, he decided to humor her. “I thought you were done welcoming me yesterday." He grins, and Liz scoffs playfully at that. “Oh hush, can’t a mother be happy to see her son?"

Jess fought his tongue to release a bitter answer: Remember all those times when you didn’t even want me? He settled with an eye roll instead. He picks Doula up and walks to the living room, where he drops both Doula and his bag on the couch. She lets out an ‘oof’, but grins all the same.

“Are you staying here all day?” She says, hoping. Jess smiles. “Well, I didn’t have anything else planned, so why not?” At the smug look on his face, Doula punches him in the arm. God, that kid is strong. He rubs the impacted spot, wincing a little.

Liz smiles beside the couch, then glances at her watch. She jumps when she sees what time it is.

“Woah, mommy needs to go now. She thinks her husband is already waiting for her in Al’s for their hot date day,” Liz winks, and Jess tries not to gag. He fails. Liz notices.

"Oh, please, I’m sure you have plenty of hot dates. Nothing to be ashamed about!” Liz scoffs, exiting the room to grab her purse.

“Really, but I’m not over forty, married with kids, and speaking in third person,” Jess mutters when she’s out of earshot, but Doula can hear him perfectly fine. She laughs loudly, only stopping when Liz comes back, all glammed up. Honestly, Jess just thinks that she looks like a wannabe fashionista with ridiculously too much makeup, but hey, who’s he to say anything?

She checks her lipstick one more time and pats her hair in place before finally coming to their side. “Alright, off I go now! Jess, I trust Doula with you. Don’t wait for mommy!” She kisses both of them on their cheeks and leaves the house, leaving Doula grinning and Jess rolling his eyes.

After that, the siblings practically jump from one activity to the next. Doula tells him all about the books she read and the drama her school’s been having the past few days. He’ll be lying if he says he’s not actually interested. Who knew middle school life could be so juicy?

Jess tells her about Matt and Chris and Truncheon, promising her that he’ll bring her there someday. The promise made her jump happily, already daydreaming about the day she'd visit the publishing house where her brother works. After that, they delve into a welcomed peace, both of them diving into their respective activities. Doula with her books beside the couch, and Jess with his laptop on the kitchen counter, reading and typing away. Sometimes they will toss snack packages at each other, or Doula will run up to Jess to talk to him about the book she’s reading. All in all, it was a wonderful and fulfilling day for both of them.

They don’t know how long they have been in that state. It was probably close to four when suddenly his phone rang. It was on the couch, closer to Doula, so she was the one who looked at the caller ID. She grins when she sees who it is.

“Jess, your girlfriend is calling!” Doula says happily.

Jess rolls his eyes and sighs loudly, knowing all too well what this is about. “For the millionth time, she is not my girlfriend!"

Doula pouts as she slowly walks towards him, his phone in her hands. "Aww, but you guys are so adorable together! Besides, I saw the way you two looked at each other. There’s no way you guys are just friends." She smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. All that was met with an exasperated grunt from her brother.

“Believe what you want, but nothing is going on between me and Rory. Now give me that phone!” He snatched the phone from her grasp, making her gasp for a split second before huffing away and returning to her books.

“Hey, Ror,” Jess greets, and he frowns when he is met with silence. “Rory? You there?” He tries again, and finally, a soft voice flows through the phone line.

“I’m here, hi. Uhm…” He didn’t know why she sounded unsure. “Hey, Jess, uh, are you... occupied? Like, are you doing something right now? Something important that can’t be postponed to, let’s say, tomorrow? I mean, I know you’re not in the diner—I came by earlier and you’re not there. So, where are you?"

He blinks slowly, processing her questions, and smiles at the thought of her looking for him. “I’m at Liz's with Doula. And no, I’m not occupied or anything. Just a few emails, really. Why? Wanting to see me already, Gilmore?” He teases her but instantly regrets that decision when he turns and sees Doula practically beaming, making heart shapes with her hands and making kissing gestures with her lips. He glares at her and turns around completely.

“Yes, yes, I do,” she said undoubtedly, making him shoot up and almost drop his phone entirely. “What?” He finally says after a pause.

In the Gilmore house, she paces in the kitchen. “Yeah. So, um, remember, like, four months ago when I was severely hungry and the only thing left in my freezer was a fish that Luke caught, like, a week before that? And you took pity on me and made the best fish sandwich I’ve ever had?"

Jess, now relaxing when he realizes where this would lead (even though he is a tad bit disappointed), hums along. “I don’t know about the best, but yeah, I remember. You finally start the craving stage?”

“Yes!” She exclaimed frustratingly. “Ugh, I’ve been wanting that gold for weeks! Months! Oh, don’t get me started about the mayo thing you put in there. The batter, the soft toasted bread... What the hell, man? You should be on MasterChef! Gordon Ramsay would be lucky to have you!” She’s on a roll; that much was clear.

“Slow down, Bullseye. You’re getting too over the top there,” he chuckles, shaking his head.

She scoffs playfully, “No! I just… I want it. I need it."

Jess smirks, “Would it make you feel better if I go there and make one for you?” It’s as if he can see Rory nodding in the line as if he can sense her.

“Yes, please! Please? You can bring Doula here too. She and I got a bit closer, y’know? Well, as close as an adult and an eighth grader could be, of course."

“Believe me, the border is nonexistent. I’ve learned more about middle school drama in the last hour than I did in two and a half years of high school biology class.” He winces at that. It’s been a long time since he brought up the whole high school dropout thing. Thankfully, Rory doesn’t seem to notice, or maybe she chooses to ignore that slip-up entirely.

“That’s because you’re too preoccupied by Kerouac and Bukowski to even listen to the class.” She says that with a teasing tone, not a judgmental one, and it eases him.

“Huh, touché.” He smiles, and to Doula’s eyes—who has switched positions and been watching the phone call—it was definitely a smitten kind of smile. She rolled her eyes at her brother.

“So, do you have all the stuff there, or should I swing by Doose's first?” He stands up from his chair, catching Doula in the act as she sprints back to her original position, trying to seem nonchalant and staring blankly at the pages of her book.

“Uhh… I think so. I’ve been preparing for this day. So yeah, it’s all set. Just come over, mister."

He chuckles, “Okay, see you then." He’s already grabbing his jacket and waving a hand in Doula’s direction to get her attention.

“See you, Jess." With a smile, she hangs up.

Doula got her curious eyes fixed on Jess as she walked up to him. “Hey, Rory needs me for something in her house. She said you can come too if you want."Jess gives her a look, part kind but part warning as well.

Doula smiles brightly. “Duh! Oh, I can see your couple-y activities live now!” She exclaimed, and Jess is actually tired of hearing this.

“Doula, stop it. Nothing is going on with me and Rory; you hear that? Nothing. So please, I would hate for what I have with her to be ruined by your pushing, or for you to be disappointed when you find out there’s truly nothing there,” he sighs, his heart slightly clenching as he says this. “She’s a good friend of mine, and I would never change that with something not worth the risk of losing her entirely.” He finishes, trying so hard not to avert his gaze from her.

Doula looks at Jess, some sort of pitiful understanding painted in her eyes. If watching Frozen taught her anything, it's that if you love someone so much, you’re willing to sacrifice your own happiness for theirs. You’re willing to let go of that someone and watch as they hopefully become happy, with or without you. Damn, she feels sorry now.

Doula let out a small smile, hoping it wouldn’t come out as sad. She pats her brother’s arm, "Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” and she goes to put her shoes on.

Jess looks at her, unconvinced. “You promise?” He prompts, fixing her with a pointed look.

She huffs. “Yes, Jess, I promise. Gosh, have a bit of faith in your little sis!” She said it with feigned offense, finished tying her shoelaces, and jumped upright, ready to go.

Jess cks, “I have more than a little faith in you; thank you very much."

Doula grins at him, all teeth, and Jess softens. He reached out to ruffle her hair as she pouted in response. “Seriously, thank you.”

Doula smiles again. “You’re welcome! Now come on, your-“ Doula catches herself before saying ‘your girlfriend’ (sorry, force of habit) and quickly retaliates, “Rory’s waiting for us!”

***

After hugging Rory, Doula quickly made herself comfortable on the sofa, flipping through the magazines she found under the table. Both adults chuckled at the sight, automatically striding to the kitchen afterward.

“Really, thank you. I know I might be a bit... handful at this point, making you come here just to make a sandwich,” she got her arms wrapped around her, hugging tightly. She gave him a tight-lipped smile, gesturing to the freezer where the fish lies.

“No biggie. A craving is a craving, and I heard that it must be satisfied.” Jess sauntered over to the cabinets, where all the ingredients had seemingly been arranged and ready.

Rory shrugs, a wider smile painted on her lips. "Yes, it is.” She sits on the nearby stool, absentmindedly watching him begin to cook up the dish with a banana in her hands. She sat there for a long time, observing the scene. She didn’t remember the last time that specific pan was out in the open. Jess always prefers to use that one every time he cooks here. He didn’t do it enough.

“No tomatoes?” Jess asked when he didn’t find even any in the pantry.

Rory grins, pretending to ponder her answers. “Huh, Luke must’ve used it all yesterday."

Jess scoffs, "Yeah, right. You purposely didn’t prepare any, did you?"

“Hey, the only bad thing on the sandwich the last time was those slimy things! On second thought, how dare you betray me like that? Giving veggies to a Gilmore? I thought you knew better, Mariano." Rory shook her head disapprovingly, which was met with an amused look from him.

“You know, your baby definitely needs some vitamins."

“Don’t you see this banana I’m eating?” Jess eyes the fruit, raising his eyebrows. “Besides, I ate sushi the other day; that counts, right? Also, I like carrots and broccoli enough, and I guess lettuce isn't half bad.

Jess grimaces. “You like lettuce but not tomatoes? You’re crazy,"

“I could say the same thing about you.” Her remark was just replied to with a smile, and she couldn’t help but mirror it.

Neither of them talked again for some time. She finishes her banana and just settles down to watch him. After a beat, he turns around to face her, “You know, I can’t help but feel like I’m being scored on if you’re just sitting there and watching me.” He raises his eyebrows at her, partly expecting her to leave.

“But I like watching you cook!” She tries to protest, but then Jess walks towards her with his arms folded and something inside her flips. She didn’t know if he does that on purpose or not, but it is definitely working.

She catches herself staring at his arms and thinks that yes, moving away from this cautious territory is definitely a good idea right now. She clears her throat. “I’ll be with Doula, then.” She excuses herself, taking quick steps to the living room.

“Hey, Rory." Doula eyes her briefly, offering a smile before coming back to the books she brought from home.

“Hey.” She settles beside her, reaching for a book too. “I hope you don’t mind. Jess practically shooed me out of my own kitchen."

Doula hums, acting as if she hasn’t been eavesdropping on the whole thing. She doesn’t look up from her book, and suddenly Rory feels a bit awkward in her house. Her mom is out, and Luke is still at the diner. She felt comfortable just now in the kitchen, but now she feels cold. The book in her hands is getting less and less interesting as time passes. She tries to bring up a conversation instead.

“So, Jess told me you have quite the drama at your school?"

Doula fought back a smile. They just keep talking about each other, huh?

“Yeah, a not-so-classic love triangle story that I’m certain if a teacher didn’t come by to the lockers that day, someone is very likely to be punched in the face." Doula closes her book, keeping a bookmark in between, before turning to face her entirely.

Rory grimaces, remembering that back in her days she'd been in one of those love triangles, and someone definitely got punched in the face. She clears her throat instead. “Whoa, kids nowadays are so... aggressive."

Doula giggles, and Rory doesn’t know how to make sense of that reaction. Amusement or mischief? “You can say that again. But relax; not all of us are like that,” she winks, and Rory smirks in response.

“Oh, I trust you completely.” Rory nudges her, and she laughs. They have had plenty of bonding moments these past few months, usually at the diner when they’re both hanging out there. It’s nice. Doula’s grown up for someone her age, but still childish enough to make conversations pretty interesting. She’s fun to talk to.

Doula likes her too. It gets boring sometimes in the Hollow without Jess, so she’s a welcomed alternative. But seriously, though, these adults need to get their feelings sorted out. If she's meddling now, she’s guilty as charged. Besides, she promised Jess, not Rory. At least that’s what she catched. 

Suddenly, she dropped the book and turned her body to face Rory entirely. “You like my brother, right?” Straight to the point, nice.

Rory choked on her breath after her laughter, coughing. She held her chest as the coughing subsided, then shot an accusatory and confused look at Doula. She just smiles sheepishly.

Once she’s come down from the breathless fit, Doula decides to throw another bait. “So, that was quite a reaction, I must say,” and all Rory does is give her a tight-lipped smile.

“You haven’t answered my question." She inquires further, and Rory sighs.

“No…” Her tone in the end there goes up, and that makes Doula raise her eyebrows. “Is that a question?”

“No! No… I mean, I like him as a friend. A very good friend. But, you know, not like like. Like, romantically. No.” Doula shoots her an unimpressed look. She watched too many lie detector tests on YouTube to not know when people are lying.

Now Rory starts to feel a bit defensive, but her inner monologue mocks her right through it. Like, come on, getting riled up by a 13-year-old? She’s way past this.

“What do you want me to say, exactly?” Her voice is calm, but there’s a certain sharp edge on her tone there, one that makes Doula understand that yeah, she should probably stop.

Doula shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s just that he cares so much for you. I never saw him care this much. Not even for Luke; moreover, mom. But you, I don’t know what’s different. He’s different.” Her eyes are back on her books, but she can sense Rory softening beside her.

“I care about him too,” she almost whispers to the room, making Doula’s lips quirk up as she hides her face in her book. God, how are adult's love life still is as complicated—or even more complicated—than her age's, she’ll never know.

Rory notices that probably neither of them is gonna talk for a while, so she sighs and leans back, picking up her book again and just getting lost in the words and lines and pages inside. Not long after, Jess comes out of the kitchen, bringing two plates in both hands and presenting them in front of the girls.

“Here. I made two for both of  you." He goes to sit in the other chair, gesturing for both of them to dig in.

Rory beamed, her smile so bright, as she reached out for a plate and immediately took a big bite. Her eyes rolled back as she chewed. “Holy shit, you still got it. This is amazing! God, can you stay here, like, forever?”

She does realize what that sentence implies. Realizes it too late, perhaps. But Jess just chuckles. “No, fun fact: my purpose in life isn’t only to make you fish sandwiches, Gilmore.”

Doula snickers at that, and Rory’s chest heaves as Jess seemingly safely averts the topic to safer ground. She pouts playfully, “Huh, too bad. I thought maybe I could hire you to stay here and serve me food every single day."

“As pleasant as that sounds, my life isn’t here anymore,” Jess answers, unknowingly too seriously. The conversation freezes there. Uh oh, the topic is back in the dangerous, uncomfy zone. Abort, abort!

Thankfully, Doula is the one who speaks up first. “Hmm, Jess! This is so good! Wow, to think that I never actually eat any of your cooking. No fair, brother.” She grins, and Jess smiles, partly with relief.

“Fine, I promised I’ll cook more often for you while I’m here.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that. You might regret it.” It’s a playful warning, but one task he’s very okay to complete. “I won’t.”

Rory eyes the siblings, feeling warm inside. They’re sweet. It’s good to see Doula has such caring people in her life, and she’s very certain that her own little one will experience the same thing. She rubs her stomach, picturing a family just like this.

She catches Jess’s eyes, and suddenly she pictures him on the same couch as her, holding her close with her back on his chest, both of them looking down at the newborn in her arms. That image feels so warm, so inviting, and so loving. That image disappears when Jess frowns at her, and suddenly she’s back at the moment, and Jess just caught her staring and smiling like a freaking lunatic. She cleared her throat and took another bite of the sandwich in her hands. The fuck is that picture? Ugh, she shouldn’t be having those, nu-uh.

Thankfully, the door opened right after that, saving her before he could ask anything. “Do I smell something fried? Oohh, is it fish? Do I smell some fried fish? Good god, I’m starving. Fried fish would be nice right now."

“You're always starving, Mom.” Rory laughs and yells back.

“Ah, that’s because of our amazing metabolism, honey. The cause of our good looks too, you know.” Finally, Lorelai Gilmore enters the room and winks at Rory before realizing that they’re not the only ones in their house, and Jess and Doula are staring at her amusedly now. "Oh, I didn’t realize it was crowded.” She smiles sheepishly.

Doula grins widely. “Hey, Aunt Lori!” She waves, and Lorelai waves back before slumping on the empty spot beside her.

"Well, hello, Dee! What brings you here, huh?” She ruffles her hair, and Doula smiles. “Rory made us come so Jess could make her fish sandwiches. Here, take a bite!” Doula offers the sandwich to her, and Lorelai takes a small bite.

“Whoa, you made this? Goddamn, Jamie Oliver could never!” Her eyes are wide for Jess, and he scoffs playfully. Jamie Oliver absolutely could ever; these people are just hungry. Still, it's kind of nice that someone appreciates his cooking. He rarely cooks for himself, and he has nobody to cook for back in Philadelphia. So… this is nice. It's a nice feeling.

Absentmindedly, Lorelai tries to go in for another bite, but then Doula backs off, unabling the sandwich from Lorelai’s range. She pouts, then turns to Jess, all sweet smiles and pleading eyes. Jess knew this was coming; that’s why he fried some extras back there.

He sighs and stands up. “I’ll assemble more right away,” he says, striding to the kitchen as Lorelai smiles widely. “You know, you’re really nice now, Jess!” Lorelai yells.

“Don’t get used to it!” He yells back, making the girls giggle.

“Sooo…” Lorelai starts, looking at a quarter of the sandwich in Rory’s hands before making eye contact with her daughter. “The dance marathon is around the corner, two days left, more precisely.” Rory just hums and continues chewing.

“I managed to get Luke to agree to come with me; I promised him something later." Lorelai wiggles her eyebrows, and Rory pretends to gag on her sandwich as Doula just frowns. “Ew, Mom! I don’t need to hear any of that.”

Lorelai rolls her eyes, then turns to face her properly. "Are you really sure you don't want to go? But we go every year! It’s our tradition!” She pouts, giving her the best puppy-dog eyes she can manage.

Rory shook her head but smiled a little. “I’m sure, mom. I mean, look at me. I don’t think my stamina is currently up to par. I would much rather just relax in my room and write or something. Besides, you’re going with Luke. I don’t even have a date." She shrugs and turns her attention fully to the remaining of her sandwich.

Doula suddenly scoffs beside Lorelai, so quietly that Rory doesn't even hear it. But Lorelai did. She turns to the kid for some explanation, and Doula just eyes the kitchen. Ah, message received.

Luke would probably be happy to see them attend the dance together. To think of it, Rory probably would too. Gosh, is she really supporting them now? Well, to be fair, Jess didn’t really show any signs that she should hate him these couple of… years. Wow, years . That kid has been around for such a long time. Not just in Rory’s life, but more so in Luke’s. He’s good now, right?

She didn’t even give the kid a chance in his teenage years, so naming this ‘giving a second chance’ feels wrong. Ugh, fine. A chance is needed, so a chance he shall receive. She has this weird feeling that he will not disappoint. Very weird. Besides, the fish sandwich he’s about to give her is delicious, and people say a way to a woman's heart is through her stomach.

Just then, Jess comes out of the kitchen again, and Lorelai starts clapping. Rolling his eyes, Jess gives the sandwich to her. Before taking a bite, Lorelai speaks about the previous matter, making it as natural as possible.

“But of course you do! I mean, Jess wouldn’t mind taking you, right?” Her eyes sparkle, while Rory’s eyes are blown wide. Doula sits up straighter, excited, and Jess just looks confused.

“Taking you to what?” He asks Rory, who’s chewing at a constantly decreasing pace.

"Oh, nothing; you won’t be interested,” she smiled kinda awkwardly, but Lorelai didn’t let up.

“The dance marathon! You know, the annual tradition of Stars Hollow? This year, Rory here decided not to partake in this glorious event. What? How could she?!” She gasps dramatically, a hand on her chest.

“Yeah, how could she? And one of her reasons is because she doesn’t have someone to take with, while you’re here and is perfectly capable of doing so, right?” Doula backs up the argument, her eyes persuasive towards Jess, and Rory very quietly groans.

Jess doesn’t say anything immediately. Ah, the dance marathon. That brings up some distant memories. The tension, the jealousy, the urge to just mess with each other just because you’re pissed at one another and their significant other, and the mark that started their relationship all those years ago. He still remembers that night on the bridge, with the sentence as simple as ‘He was right,’ that made everything he’s been pursuing come to life.

“You don’t have to, Jess. Really.” Rory’s voice broke his trance, and he looked at her intently after. She looks a bit... panicky? Does she not wanna go there with him? Well, that’s just great.

“Do you not want me to take you?” He finds himself asking, and internally, he facepalms.

Now she’s more visibly panicky. “No! No, I mean, I do–”

“Then it’s settled! Jess, you’ll take her?” Lorelai cuts her off, and Rory huffs and leans back in frustration.

Jess finds this a bit amusing, really, and a bit nerve-wracking. Doula is having a great time watching all this.

“Uh, yeah, sure. I mean, if you’re actually okay with this…” He prompted, waiting for an answer from Rory.

Rory’s mind races. She does want him to take her, but it’s just that she’s scared. Not of him, but of her. She’s not sure if she can restrain herself if she has to spend the whole night dancing with Jess, even if it’s in a room full of people. But hey, it’s a good time practically promised, so why not? She can definitely hold herself together just for one night before he goes back to Philly. Yeah, she can do that.

“Yeah, okay.” She looks at him, and he smiles. 

“Alright! You two are coming with me and Luke. Oh, goody! This is going to be fun, don’t you think?” Lorelai says eagerly, and Doula says ‘Yes!’ loudly, whereas Jess and Rory can only sit back and grin at the situation.

Yeah, very fun.

Chapter Text

“Why did you do that?” Rory asked in genuine curiosity. Lorelai, with a remote in her hand and chips in her mouth, didn’t look away from the TV.

“Why did I do what?”

“You know, the whole Jess thing? It’s actually surprising that you want me to go with him.” Rory snorts in amusement, grabbing a handful of chips herself. 

It was kinda late that night; Jess and Doula got home a couple of hours ago. Now it’s just her and her mom. Luke came home just 30 minutes ago, kissed his wife softly, and ruffled Rory’s hair before announcing that he was going to take a shower and instantly hit the mattress. 

“Hey, you know I kind of like the guy now,” Lorelai says in protest, to which Rory just grins in response. Lorelai sighs. “Besides, I didn’t do it for him. I did it for you.”

Rory frowns, and her grin falters. “What does that mean?”

Her mother sighs again and pauses the movie, knowing that this conversation won’t make any of them watch “13 Going 30” anyway any time soon. “I don’t know, sweets; I’m pretty sure you know what I mean. He likes you; you like him; shouldn’t it be easy?” She huffs.

As soon as Rory was about to interrupt, Lorelai cut her off and talked again. “That doesn’t mean I’m not scared, though. I’m scared as hell about doing round two of this. But seeing you two these past months—actually, since me and Luke got married—well, it’s not the most disheartening sight. I shouldn’t like this, and I don’t, but as your mother, I think I need to give you and him a chance at happiness, no matter what my view on this is. If you’re happy, I can learn to be happy as well.”

Rory’s eyes are wide, and her hands are frantically wafting about to stop her mom from talking. “Mom, what are you talking about? We’re not doing a do-over. Whatever happened between Jess and me is long over.”

Lorelai let out a humorless laugh, one that made Rory squint her eyes. “Yeah, whatever you say, honey,”

Before Lorelai can grab the remote and play the movie back, Rory snatches it quickly and puts it away from Lorelai’s reach. 

“Hey!” Her mother balks.

“What makes you think he likes me?” Rory insists, ignoring the awkward frame of Jennifer Gardner’s paused face on their TV.

Lorelai felt kinda bad for triggering all of this. She’s tired; Rory’s tired; all she wants to do is just curl on the sofa and watch a movie with her daughter. It’s hard to explain either way. Feelings are… complicated. The only ones who may be able to explain this are Jess and Rory themselves. Why are her daughter and her high school boyfriend still tip-toeing the same rope? Beats her.

She sighs, “Look, I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t like you like that, sure. Really, I don’t know! Believe what you want to believe, honey. Only you and Jess can figure this all out.” And with that, Lorelai stretched and snatched the remote from her and pressed play, continuing the movie. 

Rory contemplates her answer. Yeah, only she and Jess can figure this out. Whatever this is, is she being delusional? Maybe, but it’s better to be rejected than to not know the truth, right? 

She sighs and just sinks onto the sofa, watching Jenna and Matt get their happily ever after. She can only wish for the same. 

***

The next morning, Rory was getting ready in her room for a doctor's appointment. She is almost closing her second trimester; she just wants a regular update on how her baby is doing. Rory’s grateful to have found a good doctor. 

She can hear the knocking on the door, but her mom is in the kitchen, and surely she can open the door by herself. 

“Uh, Rory, honey, someone’s at the door for you,” Lorelai calls, and Rory frowns a bit. Who might that be? Quickly, she grabs her purse and goes downstairs, where she is directly faced by an open door with Logan Huntzberger on the other side of it. 

“Logan, hi? What are you doing here?” She’s very confused, and from her peripherals, she can see Lorelai backing up to the kitchen again. 

“Ace, you look nice.” He smiles, and she just looks down at her pregnancy clothes and tries not to roll her eyes. “Well, I can say the same thing for you.” She settles for that instead. Compliments from him don’t sit right with her anymore, and that fact kind of saddens her a little. 

“Thanks,” He answers, his tone chirpy. “I’m here because, well, if I’m not mistaken, you got a doctor's appointment today, right? And well, I want to be there.” He sounds determined, and she can't help but smile at him, even though, yes, this is the first-ever appointment in 5 months that he’s volunteering to tag along. Well, she’ll take what she can get. 

“You’re right. I was about to go there myself, actually.” Rory says, getting closer to him.

"Well, let me drive you. You can give me the directions in the car.” Logan was already backing up, but Rory still has one question on her mind. 

“Logan, does Odette know you are here?” Perhaps she could say it with less of an accusatory tone, but it has been said. 

Logan turns around, looking a bit disbelievingly at her face. “Yes, Rory, she knows. God, can you have some faith in me a little bit?” 

Rory feels a bit bad, but a voice in the back of her head tells her that he has given her far too many reasons to not have faith in him. But Rory apologizes nonetheless. “Right, Sorry,” 

Logan sighs, his face telling her that he’s unsure whether to believe her or not. Oh well. “It’s fine. Just get in the car, Ace. We don’t want to be late.”

Rory nods curtly, entering the house for a brief second. “Mom, I’m going now!” She kind of shouts, which is met with another shout. “Alright, be safe, hon. Love you!” And with that, she closes the door and enters the passenger seat in Logan’s car. The old porsche. This brought back some memories. 

The car ride was mostly silent and not entirely of the good kind. She remembers her Yale times, when she did this with Logan so many times and they just clicked. They could talk and laugh while his fingers played with her thighs. She mindlessly wonders what happened there. How could their connection fizzle out like this? Perhaps that’s what happens when you put a baby in the mix. But for some, shouldn’t it bond you tighter? Add that to another reason why they're not going to work for the long haul. It just strengthens her decisions now. 

She doesn’t want to compare; she insisted on telling her brain not to compare, but the amount of silence that existed in this car made her mind run nonetheless. She can’t help but think that if it was Jess who was driving her there... 

“Ace?” Logan’s voice turns off her mind instantly.

“Uh, yeah, what’s up?” She smiles at him, shaking her head to dismiss all her thoughts. 

He chuckles, “Nothing. I just want to ask, How have you been? I know I've not been entirely present these past few months, and I’m sorry for that. I guess I just want to know what’s going on in your life.”

She appreciated the sentiment of him asking at all, but suddenly Rory was just not in the mood for a lengthy talk, which is odd for her. Perhaps the resentment in her blood is still coursing through, or she’s just tired. “It’s good. Life’s okay,” she left it there, not knowing what else to say. 

Logan just hums, clearly not knowing what to say as well. “Still writing that book of yours?” 

She nods, "Uh huh, still.” This is weird. Their conversations aren’t usually this dull. Just a couple of months ago, she decided that she could at least be friends with him. The text messages between them are okay; they flow when they need to flow. But... no life updates, no funny anecdotes, no more reaching for reassurance. Huh, perhaps it has just been this dull. 

He said it himself; he’s not entirely present these last months. They’re drifting apart again. History repeating itself and all. 

Finally putting them both out of their misery, they arrived at the hospital, and Rory even allowed him to open the door for her. They walk together to the doors, close but not close , not holding hands. No one will even mistake them for a couple. 

The appointment goes by quickly. The doctor threw her a questioning look when Logan introduced himself as the father, and Rory just chuckled nervously and sent her a smile, which the doctor instantly understood and didn’t ask any further questions. 

It never gets old to look at your own baby. Rory is filled with overwhelming warmth and joy every time, and she lets Logan grip her hands as he looks at the ultrasound in person for the first time. For the first time that day, both of their smiles felt genuine, and the weight of awkwardness lifted from them both. The baby was healthy, and both walked out with a smile grazing their lips.

The car ride after has a new atmosphere too; it is lighter. Logan tells her about London, about Odette, and about his company, and Rory finds herself genuinely listening. She noticed that he’s happier too, which is very good. The guilt she has whenever she mentions Odette still lingers, but it isn’t as strong as it used to be, which is also very good. She’s giggling over his story that mentioned a silly misunderstanding he once had between him and the delivery guy, because somehow they got into that topic, but she isn’t complaining per se. When she got home, she had a smile on her face. Not the giddy type, but it’s more of a relief knowing that this trip isn’t entirely a mistake. 

They pull over at the front, and she asks him if he wants to come inside for coffee. He accepts, and they’re striding together silently to the front door. She knows that Lorelai is still inside, so she’s covered there. 

Lorelai gave them a smile and asked how the appointment went while she put on another pot of coffee, and Logan answered politely. She’s still not Logan’s biggest fan, but the warning glare her daughter shot her earlier said that she should at least play nice a little until the blonde goes out of their home.

“Stars Hollow is still unchanged, huh? Say, What crazy town events do we have around the corner now?” He asked while sipping his cup, his eyes going through the window as if the answer would be painted there with neon lights.

Lorelai, never backing down t o answer any questions regarding a town event, answered immediately, “Ooh, the dance marathon is tomorrow! Yeah, an event where we dance the literal night away, and the last person standing will get a trophy.” 

Logan chuckles. “That sounds… fascinating and tiring.” 

Rory nods. “Yeah, basically. But it’s prestigious and fun. The whole town is dancing, the atmosphere is lively and bright, and there’ll be food. It’s just, it’s tradition.” Rory shrugged, but a proud smile was painting her face. 

Logan looks more intrigued. “Well, maybe I should just check it out for myself. You said it was tomorrow? I can hang back till then.” 

Rory’s eyes widened, but Lorelai had already answered. “Oh, sure. The more, the merrier, I guess. If you want to, you can reserve a room at the inn. A bit of a warning though; usually it’s for townspeople only,” she warns. 

“It’s okay; I’ll just watch. Thanks for the coffee and the inn offer, Lorelai. I think I’m going to go and reserve that room now.” He stood up, tapping his back pocket to confirm that his car key was still there. 

“I’ll walk you out,” Rory said, standing up as well. Lorelai shot Logan a small, tight-lipped smile as she said goodbye, and they were out the door after that.

“So, this dance marathon thing... are you coming?” Logan shifts on his feet beside his car, and Rory has a sense of dread in her chest as she crosses her arms in front of it. 

“Yep. It’s tradition, really. Not even a pregnant belly can stop my mom from roping me in there.” Rory smiles a little. 

“That’s good. Any chance you could be my ‘kind of date’ later? You know I have no one to guide me through all of this small-town shit. I’m going to have to rely on you the whole night.” Logan smiles humorously, the confident smug tone in his voice still somewhat as she remembered. The sense of dread is confirmed. 

“Sorry… but I already have a date that night. Well, more of a plus one, perhaps.” She laughs nervously, because calling Jess her date just sent something to her brain, and she needs to retaliate a little. 

Logan looked surprised. “Oh? Who’s the lucky fella? Wait, you know what, don’t answer that; probably no one I know.” 

“Actually, you do know this person.” The words came out of her mouth before she could stop them. “Well, if you remember, you met this person once.” 

“Really? Huh, enlighten me, Ace.”

She took a deep breath, “It’s Jess.” 

Logan stopped short, his brows furrowing as he tried to remember. When it finally clicked, though, he let out a laugh. It was not a good-sounding laugh—a laugh that made her want to shut his mouth with duct tape. 

“The moody author from almost a decade ago? Him? What is he doing here?” He snickers.

Rory doesn’t like that tone. “He’s Luke’s nephew, and actually, I was the one who made him come here in the first place.” That visibly shocked Logan, who is now frowning at her. 

“You called him here? What, you guys are close now?” He sneers a bit, and she scowls. 

“Yes, we’ve always been close. He’s my friend, and he’s helping me edit my book—the one who suggested making it in the first place, actually. He’s been helping with my life since a decade ago, really. I owe him a lot.”

He scoffs a little, and her frown deepens. “What?”

“I was just remembering the guy that night at the bar. Hard to imagine such a brooding, stuck-up writer boy having such an impact on your life.”

His impact is so much bigger than yours. 

She meant to say that in her head, but apparently she’s been thinking out loud, and a hurt look dawns on Logan’s face. 

“You know, the more you talk, the less I believe you and him are just friends. Is there something you’re not telling, Rory?” Now he just looks angry, and Rory wonders how the hell they ended up here again. 

“No, Logan, there’s nothing going on and nothing to say. And even if there was something, it’s none of your business.” She finds herself not apologizing, and she wonders what that made her look like in his eyes. She’s tired of caring. 

The flames in his eyes are not taming. “It’s absolutely my business, Ace! What if you start dating that dude, and what, suddenly he’s the one our baby would call dad every single day?”

“First of all, ‘that dude’ has a name, and it’s Jess, so call him that. Second of all, you’re getting so ahead of yourself! Let me remind you again, Logan, that there’s nothing going on between me and Jess! So suck up your insecurity and be nice for a goddamn moment for once in your life without all of your petty lame jabs!” She’s spitting venom, but he is infuriating at this moment, and she can’t help it. 

The look of betrayal took over his face, and he scoffs darkly. “Yeah, but I bet you want it to be, right? Don’t lie, Ace. I can still read you pretty well. I knew there was something going on between you two, even that last time years ago.” 

She fully snaps. “Yeah? Because somehow all I see is this stranger I used to love on my front porch. Just… Go home, Logan. Back to your life, to Odette.” She sighs tiredly, running her hand to her face. “The door is always open for you to use it, but right now it is closed for a while.”

Suddenly, Logan takes two steps ahead and tries to reach out to her. “Wait, Ace, I didn’t mean—”

“No, Logan, I just... I need time. Just go, okay? It’s better for both of us right now.” She shrugs helplessly. “We need to stop this. This fighting, this arguing; I’m so tired of it.” 

Logan nods silently, backing off to his car. “Okay, I’ll give you time. Later, Ace.” 

She doesn’t bother watching the car fully exit her porch before going back to her house. The back of her mind says that it would be so much easier if she could just cut him off entirely from her life. Unfortunately, the growing bump in her stomach wouldn’t allow it. Oh well.