Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The deal is about to take place in this damn damp place and Erwin can feel a drop of sweat going down his neck; it tickles. He can hear his own breathing along with the drippage of sewers nearby; there's always something dripping down here and it's always waste. Even the air is dank. He doesn't think the internment zone is any cleaner but it is at least less eerie.

Erwin’s got a bag of money inside his one-size-too-small uniform. He would’ve imagined the soldiers here were adults but they are teens just like him, only smaller. His pants don’t cover his ankles and the shirt doesn't reach his wrists. The jacket is also quite short, though he figures that is related to how much space the gear occupies around his waist. And it’s an unnecessarily bulky, heavy gear considering he’s supposedly just buying information. 

It wasn’t hard to understand the power that feudal families held around the Karanes District and the desire many had to break their security. The dealer doesn’t need to know why the Survey Corps are interested in it.

Ackerman's surely lurking in the darkness with his friend, the blond one. That's their modus operandi. They sneak up on other people’s deals and steal their money and documents or goods; sometimes they kill them, and sometimes they run away. The talker takes care of everything and works as a distraction while the swift one comes out of nowhere from the darkness and rams into anyone that gets in their way. The little girl only joins them when she needs to put on a show; she takes the goods with her while they keep fighting; if they lose, the loot is already secured. 

Erwin and his squad have been spying on them for weeks, they haven’t lost once. And unless they have been running on a streak, then they surely are suspicious of what is taking place right now. Erwin's a new face and this is not his territory. His clothes are clearly not made for his build and this hoax of a deal goes nowhere. 

If Erwin has not misread this entire situation then this man is a better fighter than all of his squad put together because of his Ackerman blood. Regardless, instincts alone wouldn't be enough even for professional criminals; it's possible Ackerman doesn’t have enough leads to know about Erwin's deal or where it’s going, especially not where he comes from. That’s why Erwin made sure that the money in the bag is real and too tempting to turn a blind eye to.

They've been in Paradis for too long. Getting restless now is out of the question; Erwin needs to get out of this alive and return to his country. He's counting on getting back to the shore in at least half the time it took them to get here so he needs to make sure this is sorted out quickly. 

He can only do that by taking this man with him, and can only do that by trusting his guts alone.

The Underground does not work like any other place Erwin has read about. Every corner seems like a good spot to engage in delinquent behaviour. Brothels are inns where the ones offering services live in and have no rest. The markets sell rotten food, flies and maggots seem to be part of these people’s meals. Wearing a uniform doesn’t spare you from the hated looks but walking the narrow streets in civilian clothes does not save you from an imminent attack either. Nights and days are no different, there’s only darkness and filth.

Criminals work just as regular criminals except for those three; with the exception of that one in particular. They are merciless with anyone that’s not them, but they never steal from the markets, only from other criminals; and they don’t kill innocent civilians, only those who pose a threat to them. Erwin has seen them saving people several times from being beaten to death before making a run for it without getting anything in exchange.

There’s also a little school someone put up down here with only two teachers and kids of all ages assist. Erwin knows Ackerman and his friends are frequently spotted in the area; those three have been giving away bread to the kids before they get to class. And it’s most likely they bake the bread themselves, considering they never buy those in the market.

They are criminals with moral and ethical grounds, or they are criminals who don’t want others to grow up just like them. Either way, Ackerman is too swift, stealthy and robust to hold a humanitarian side. Anyone with his skills would be using them to get out of here, to hold a position of power, to break into rich people’s homes. He’s either not interested or lacks the proper opportunity.

So now, Erwin is waiting for everything to blow up. The rumbling in his stomach is palpable. He’s about to face the kindest, most deadly criminals down here. He can hear the men in front of him mumbling, sharing his intel, asking for the money, but Erwin doesn’t pay attention to the words. He doesn’t care about the best access to a manor in Rose, he’s instead alert to his surroundings and ready to make a run for it.

The sound of rubble falling and collapsing against the ground makes his breath hitch and he quickly shoots his grapple to get out of there. Mike must be in pursuit of Ackerman and if Erwin doesn’t move fast they might lose their only chance. Creating another situation to encounter them will be impossible after being spotted like this.

Behind him, Ackerman's friend is in pursuit too; Erwin can see the grapples dig against the walls near him and listens to his movements breaking the air. They are quick and skilled, different from Erwin and his squad. The tridimensional gear feels like prehistoric technology; Erwin can think of how much easier this encounter would be using his marksmanship and the strength of his legs to run through the streets. There’s no good use for this gear that might explain why their military keeps using it other than the desire not to progress and keeping everyone inside these walls as ignorant and unable to fight their threats as possible.

Erwin surges forward, walking over the roof of a small house and grappling again to turn around a corner. His body hits the wall with all his weight and he has to shoot another grapple to move away quickly. His chaser laughs at him while he finds his balance, moving ahead despite the stinging pain on his shoulder. He can see Mike up ahead and how he dives right into a window. 

They might be fighting on enemy ground, but this is an enemy country, they are prepared. They need to get this done and go back home. Just a little farther now. Just a little…

Five months ago

Titans regurgitate everything they eat, and these devils are lunatics that go outside the walls to face them, so gear and uniform weren’t hard to get—what was hard was cleaning the blood, spit and bile out of them. But if they are not afraid of death to try and scout the lands outside of their walls, then Erwin is sure they are smarter and braver than he was led to believe.

They had to linger outside the walls, watching soldiers attack beasts three to five times their size only to ride back into the walls with nothing but fear and tears on their faces. But even after seeing them in action, using the gear is not intuitive. 

The way this city works is not so different to Marley, there are those who live with privilege and those who don't. The latter are the ones closer to the outer walls and the dangers of titans, even if they could never break through the concrete.

After sneaking in among other soldiers, Erwin learned two things: it's only normal for the winged men to suffer several casualties, and the townsfolk hate their guts. Their risky way of living doesn't earn them any respect, only pity and anger. The Survey Corps are in charge of scouting the wall premises, and it seems that their primary objective is to find what's beyond them even though they have no idea what titans are to begin with.

Erwin and his squad spent weeks travelling from Marley to make it here so their first objective was to blend in. They offered help to some citizens to work their fields in exchange for food and a place to sleep, making a living inside the walls quite easy and peaceful. So much so that Erwin started walking the streets and visiting libraries, something he’d never imagined he’d do alone in his life.

Regardless, Erwin couldn't help but notice that these devils have access to very particular parts of history. In fact, he wasn't familiar with anything he read at all. None of the books mentions Ymir or her pact with the Earth devil. There is no information about the nation of Eldia, nothing about the nine titans or the dark ages. Neither, the motherland of Marley nor their great achievement during the Great Titan War are not mentioned. 

Erwin sits at night and talks to Mike and Wald about this, feeling free for the first time in his life of any fear of being heard by authorities that follow their every step. It's so much easier to sit on a log in the middle of a farm to discuss private matters, and even if Wald doesn't care or believe in anything he hears, Mike pays attention. 

“If they never heard about Ymir’s titans, then what do they think those things out there are?” he asks from the other side of the campfire. 

“They don't know anything,” Erwin says. “According to their history books, humanity has fallen and the titans have obliterated everything in existence. They believe they are safer here within these walls.”

“They are,” Wald points out, clenching his fist.

“How is this possible? They moved a whole civilization here, are there no records of that?”

“Surely they are not acting as if their King has proclaimed a war,” Erwin explains. “They live in peace; they don't have an army to defend themselves against people; they can barely fight the titans.”

“So what the fuck are we doing here?” Wald exclaims.

“Learning.”

“But they lied to us! They forced us to fight their wars under false pretences!”

“Is the fact that Marley despises Eldians and lies to them news to you?” Erwin asks.

“But this means we will die here!” Wald stands up, shaking. “This means they will not take us back!”

“We still have a mission to follow through.”

“What the fuck for!” Wald exclaims, walking around them. “They sent us as scapegoats for their shitty little war.”

“Yes.”

“Is everything about the founding titan a lie too? Did you read anything about that in these shitty books?” he asks, flipping through them and throwing them to the floor.

Erwin doubts he knows how to read; it was hard enough for him to cross the written language barrier. “There's nothing about the founding titan. But if any of Marley’s scientific studies about titans are correct, then it's possible they were influenced on a molecular level,” he explains. “If the founding titan has control over Eldian’s eugenics, they might as well have no memory of what their ancestors did or who they are. This is the only way to explain the contents of their history books.”

“We really are despicable devils,” Wald says, dropping to his knees, holding his face. “We never learn. We will never atone for our sins.”

“If they know nothing about the titans, about war, about us,” Mike says, "Then will they know anything about this Ackerman clan we're here for.”

“Most likely not.”

They remain in silence as the information sinks in and the logs shoot sparks in front of them. The night is humid but not cold, Erwin doesn't think he's ever felt this sticky in Marley; he craves a shower and a meal that's not hard rock bread and cheese, which is the only payment they get from milking cows and moving manure around.

“Considering their defensive fighting position, it's possible the Ackermans don't exist as such,” Erwin says, thinking out loud.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“They are hiding,” Mike provides.

“Precisely. King Fritz was in fact ready for an infiltration. The man sitting on the throne might not even be a real Fritz at all. He got rid of their history and anything that could leave them in a compromising position. He would never let the world find its way to the founding so easily.”

“Fuck your stupid theories, Erwin!” Wald exclaims. “What are we doing now? We can't find the Ackerman clan, and we won't be able to find the founding either. This mission has failed miserably! Our ancestors have sentenced us to die since the age of Ymir and we're still paying for it, even in this hell!”

“They are several steps ahead of us, that is all.”

“That is all? That is all? Are you fucking stupid? How do you suppose we find any valuable intel like this?”

“We've only been here for a month and have already learned enough about these people and their lives, their motivations.”

“And what would those be? ”

“None.”

Wald frowns quizzically.

“They are blind to the world, they live in the past,” Erwin tells him. “They don't carry guns or use electricity. There are no cars and the boats run on coal. They do not live in the same world we do and that gives us a strategic advantage. They possess books that can only theorise about the shape of the earth and the expanse of the ocean but they could never understand what it means to be engulfed by a wave and swallow salt water or what colour the sky turns when the sun sets in the horizon.”

“We're smarter?” Wald wonders.

Mike gives him a knowing look.

“We possess knowledge, even in our ignorance,” Erwin answers. “We know the powers and skills of Ackermans; they should stick out around normal people because they are not normal. And such a powerful, important clan can only be working for the most powerful, important people.”

“Getting into Mitras might be as hard as leaving the internment zone without a permit,” Mike says and Erwin is so glad they allowed him to come because Wald alone has done nothing for them thus far.

“I could get a copy, I believe or… steal, if necessary, a city map,” Erwin says. “There are sewers and rivers that connect the wall's gates. There was also information on a subterranean city beneath the capital of Mitras.”

“Subterranean?” Mike asks. “Is it populated?”

“Apparently so. There used to be several cities spread around the districts, one right under our feet too, but they were abandoned. The Underground was the only place left, and the people that live there hold even fewer privileges than those closer to the outer walls.” 

Wald isn't talking anymore which is a relief. But he looks in despair which could make it harder to work with him, even more so.

“How long do you need, Erwin?” Mike asks.

“The three of us need time to explore this gear and make the most of it. It could come in handy as a quick escape. I will dig into the Underground's structure and how getting in there would help us resurface in Mitras without being spotted.”

“We need real food,” Mike says and Erwin nods.

“Wald,” he calls. “If our observations are correct, the winged soldiers are not the only military around here. We need to learn more about that. You're a stealth, reliable soldier,” he praises. “I will need you to walk rounds and learn more about their paramilitary forces.”

“Yeah, ok.”

“As for jobs, Mike, we could spread out and avoid calling attention to ourselves. I assume city dwellers would forget our faces easily but we can't move around in uniforms. Especially not these that are so clearly not ours,” he explains. Mike's uniform is the one that fits the worst.

“Fine.”

Erwin sighs, getting up. “We know what to do. Mitras is our next target and we'll get there through the subterranean city. But before that, we need to infiltrate the city and be part of the population, get acquainted. Avoid making friends and getting intimate. Avoid brothels and criminal behaviour. The last thing we need is to get each other out of jail.”

“Last thing I want is to engage with these filthy demons,” Wald sneers.

“See you here in two weeks' time for a debrief,” Erwin orders. “Dismissed.”

Now

“The girl is here too!” Wald shouts. 

Erwin was hoping she would; three versus two wouldn’t be fair and would also leave him without leverage. He needs all of Ackerman’s friends to get to him. He can't play fair if he expects this to work.

The streets are narrow but the pillars around them make it easy to move above the houses even if it’s not as easy as doing it around trees. Erwin tries to grapple a wall down below to get momentum but misses the spot and has to throw another hook above to avoid crashing to the ground. This sparks more laughs from the man behind him but he doesn’t care, he just needs to keep moving forward. Losing him would be ideal but the difference in expertise with this technology is evident

If Erwin had his gun he would shoot him in the chest, right under his lungs.It would hurt, it would bleed but he would survive; he’d get scared, he'd scream and that’s exactly what would help to set panic among his friends. Erwin’s a good shot but he’s not in his element; not down here, not even above. He can’t take more unnecessary risks.

Sewage water runs in rivers up ahead and he spots Mike finally catching up to Ackerman and throwing him to the ground. He’s a fast learner and got the hang of this gear very quickly, besides that he’s three times bigger than Ackerman too, and should be able to lock him with ease. 

Wald is nowhere to be seen yet; there’s no reason for a kid to make so much trouble for him. She doesn't look older than fourteen. Hopefully, he’s managed to subdue the girl; hopefully, knowing how important she is for this deal, he will behave.

Erwin makes a turn by the next pillar in an attempt to distract his pursuer first; it pays off. Mike might need help but seeing Ackerman struggling on the floor works as bait. As soon as he sees his friend in distress he flies his way. 

He lands right on top of Mike and pulls a knife out. From far away, both of their enemies look like cats next to Mike, and they are just as swift and quick, managing to make him lose his footing. Erwin looks around for Wald and finds nothing so he jumps back into the scene and shoots a grapple right against the floor, approaching at full speed, copying what he’s seen Ackerman do; he grapples from a nearby wall with his other grip and manages to avoid a heavy fall, sliding through the floor and knocking everyone’s legs on his way. 

They are an entwinement of bodies, like strings that only get tighter as you try to pull them apart. He’s kicked in the ear and gets his arm cut. His knee hits someone and he only hopes it’s not Mike’s stomach but he just can’t find his footing. 

When he finally makes sense of things, he notices that if he tries to choke Ackerman with his legs he will only end up stabbed so he lets go and rolls out of the pile. Mike and Erwin not only have size on their side but their military training is evident now that they are this close; they are bigger and just as resilient. 

There’s a moment of silence when everyone stands up; they look at each other, balancing their possibilities. Running away is not an option, turning around means getting trampled over and using their blades could turn out badly. Marleyans are trained in firearms and artillery, not sword fighting. And as much as he practised fencing with his father, this will not even be close to having his chest poked.

He sees an advantage to leverage over Ackerman’s body; he’s too small to be a menace but if Mike was struggling to get a hold of him, it means he must be stronger than he looks. He’s not even agitated after all this chasing, different from the rest of them, and he looks like he’s ready to risk it all. 

Erwin’s stomach feels light with excitement. 

A shriek cuts the air between them and finally, having Wald chase the kid might just pay off. There's a window to attack as they get distracted by her yelling. The girl is too important for them and it's made evident by their panicked looks. Mike surges forward and knocks the blond down, leaving Erwin just a second to follow.

But Ackerman is indeed strong and Erwin has to hold both of his wrists to save his stomach from being turned into a colander. He uses his feet to make Erwin lose balance but it doesn’t work and he lifts a knee that hits Erwin right on the chin. His teeth clash together and his brain rumbles inside his skull. They groan and struggle to get a hold of each other until the girl shrieks again, giving Erwin enough advantage to knock Ackerman to the ground.

“Stop fighting, runt!” Mike grunts. He’s holding the blond under his knee, wrists cuffed.

“I got the bitch!” Wald exclaims from afar. He’s dragging her body by the hair and throws her around to the floor. There's blood dripping down her face as she struggles to move.

“What did you do to her!” Ackerman snarls, trying to set free from Erwin’s grip as he cuffs him too.

“Nothing yet,” Wald sneers, grabbing her hair and placing a blade under her neck. “Don’t worry, I’ll let you look.”

“I’ll fucking kill you!”

“Stop!” Erwin exclaims, pushing Ackerman’s face right into the ground.

“If you so much as lay a finger on her,” the blond threatens.

“I said, silence!” Erwin exclaims before Wald uses those words to his advantage. “You are in no position to make threats. You either stay still or watch my friend slit her throat.”

“Spit it out then!” Ackerman seethes. “Who the fuck are you!”

Erwin moves away and forces him to kneel, Mike follows. The girl is not talking and that might just work against them; if she dies, they lose leverage. It's not a matter of making peace but he won't win Ackerman's trust without giving him some reassurance.

“My name is Erwin Smith. What's yours?”

“Skip the polite introductions,” he says, voice hoarse. “What do you want from us, rich boy?”

“Yeah,” the blond says. “Did you escape your mama's house and went out to play soldiers?”

“You carry the wings of freedom but you're no scout,” Ackerman spits out. “You suck at using your gear.” 

Mike kicks his back, pushing him to the floor. He looks smaller and smaller the more Erwin looks at him.

“Your name. Now.”

Three months ago

“It's just those three unless there is more spread inside the rich city. Wings, horses and roses,” Wald says, counting his fingers. “Survey Corps, Military Police and Garrison.”

“But only the Survey Corps wander outside,” Mike points out.

“Yeah, and the military only wanders inside and the inner walls.”

“The garrison cares for the gates,” Erwin assumes.

“Yeah.”

“We could get better uniforms. The Survey Corps seem like any soldier. They sleep in bunk beds, plough their lands, wash their clothes and hang them outside. But I don't think they have big guys like Mike.”

“People don't like the winged guys,” Mike says.

“Half of them die every time they go outside. Nobody cares about them.”

“That could come in handy,” Erwin decides. “People might not pay special attention to us in those uniforms then. But I haven't seen them around the streets.” He’s afraid that moving around with winged uniforms might bring too much attention to them.

“They don't do rounds, they don't work for the people. Just their own interests.”

“Which are?” Erwin asks.

“Scout, I don't know. They go out there and fight titans first-hand.” 

“Scout lands? Are they trying to build up new walls? How far have they gotten?”

“I don't know. Not far I bet, they always retreat with carriages filled with dead men from what I've heard. Just like the time we got in.”

Wald's findings are useless. Erwin used to be fond of him but he has changed since they arrived in this country. Mike is quick-witted, sharp and understands Erwin; he can follow and he can lead. Wald was Marley's way of letting them know they don't trust this suicide mission and that they will not lose anyone of high calibre.

If Erwin wanted clear information he should've gone and got it himself but he was too distracted visiting libraries. He had to move around different places in the cities to avoid calling unwanted attention. He retrieved all types of books and hid maps within them.

The countryside spreads in front of them; people are cultivating food, herding the cattle, repairing their roofs. This is the second time they gather around a fire to debrief their observations and find a way in, but Erwin can't bear to waste more time. If the common people have no knowledge about the Ackerman clan and the titans it will be dangerous to talk about them around town. The last thing they need is to raise suspicion. 

Erwin is starting to consider this clan as either being protected or feared, but not perished. Infiltrating the military as simple soldiers is not going to cut it; it would take too long and they don’t have the time. They need to get back to Marley before a full year has passed or their plan of sneaking young warriors into the walls to retrieve the Founder will not prevail.

“I met a young artist who sells her pieces and books and moves them through the cities in boats,” Erwin says, getting his squad’s attention. “I mentioned I was in need of a job and she offered to pay a small amount for me to deal with that.” 

“Erwin, if you have a plan just spit it out,” Wald urges.

“In a big enough crate, I could smuggle you into Rose.”

“You've got to be kidding me.”

“I can barely fit in their uniform and you want me to fit into a crate?” Mike queries.

Erwin nods. “It will be cargo. It's either that or travel with pigs' filth.”

“And what about you? You travel on board breathing fresh air? Bullshit!” Wald snaps.

“It shouldn't take longer than ten hours. The ports are close to each other, and once we arrive, you will be freed inside a deposit warehouse, I suppose. You should be able to escape while I deliver the goods.”

“At least we'll have ourselves a proper meal,” Mike concedes.

“Hopefully so.”

“How can you be so smug about this shit?” Wald wonders. “We're going to get killed if we're found.”

“You will have to be quiet.”

Erwin's been looking into this for a few weeks now. It's not normal for cargo to be thoroughly checked, especially not the ones that contain cultural goods. The only shipments that need to follow specific labelling and ruling are the ones that contain food on their way to Mitras. You need a pass to cross the major walls and not many Maria civilians are allowed through unless they have business there.

They wouldn't be able to pull off something like this in Marley but they are barely able to leave the city there unless it's for military purposes. Sneaking people under someone else's noses would mean the death of anyone involved. A trip to heaven, and you would never hear of them again. After arriving at Paradis port, Erwin could only imagine the number of prisoners that were turned into pure titans right over that wall and how many of them are wandering the lands.

He doesn't want to think about those he's heard being taken during the night. The cars shrieking on the streets to drive them away; the silence on the block the next morning when everyone acknowledges those that are no longer around without being able to say a word. If someone is taken, it's only because they are traitors, and talking about them would make them traitors as well.

“Wald, we don't need uniforms if they will fit just as badly. Instead, we'll need blades, cuffs, bandages. Could you get those?”

“The corps live in filth, I'd be surprised if they have any but I'll look.”

“We have three weeks until the next shipment leaves for Karanes. I will handle the arrangements to let you know how to proceed.”

“See you in another two weeks?” Wald asks.

“Yes. “

Mike stares at him. He hasn't received an order but he knows what to do. Wald has not been following suit. He's been risking his face to be known, he's already a regular in the brothels where he thinks he's getting away with it. Mike has been spying on him, babysitting. 

“Make sure to feed yourselves, lay low,” Erwin orders regardless. “Dismissed.”

Now

The sewer drippage is suddenly muted by Erwin’s own thoughts. 

There’s no last name. He doesn’t know his last name. He’s just Levi. 

Erwin could be totally wrong; his whole plan has just been turned upside down and torn to pieces. But even if the possibilities are slim, he's been following his guts for too long; he's read too much about this clan to be so off the mark. 

It's more likely Levi is hiding his identity. Maybe the Ackermans have been hiding for so long that they hide from themselves too. Either that or every Marleyan theory on titan biology is mistaken.

“I have an offer for you, Levi,” Erwin says.

He won't give up now. He didn't spend half a year in a foreign country to give up so easily. This man fits every tale perfectly and Erwin will continue his path with the confidence that brought him here in the first place.

Levi moves faster than anyone and is strong as a bull. Ivory skin and dark hair. Upturned silver eyes. Characteristics so precise and eccentric that are seemingly unlikely yet they sit right in front of Erwin. Undeniable.

If the Founder’s powers affect the Ackerman clan as much as the rest of the Eldians, it's possible Levi doesn't know who he is. Living down here could also mean Levi is the son of an Ackerman because his father lay with a whore and now he's just an orphan.

The fact that Levi claims to not have a last name fires something in Erwin’s curiosity. If this clan was denied its identity, then it should have at least been replaced.

Levi's eyes are cold but they are not hard to read. He's not lying, he doesn't know who he is, he's not aware of the power he holds and Erwin wants to wring it out of him.

“In exchange for your skills and strength, I will take you and your friends out of here alive,” he offers.

Erwin kneels right in front of him to look straight into his deadly eyes and even with their distance shortened, Erwin still needs to look down at the small and compact dangerous man in front of him. Mike has unarmed them but it's possible they are still hiding more knives within their clothes, just like the ones they were hiding inside their boots and inside their heels. Erwin's also certain that any part of Ackerman's body is just as deadly as a blade.

“Just take me, then,” Levi says, lips twitching.

“Please don't underestimate me, Levi.”

“What do you need them for?” he asks.

“Leverage.”

Three weeks ago

“These devils live in filth,” Wald says.

“No different from home.” Erwin’s patience is running thin. He shouldn't speak ill of his motherland so openly, especially not in front of someone like Wald.

The Underground is nothing like they would’ve imagined. Right under the richest city in this country live the ones that never held a chance; the ones that seek dignity and shelter; the ones that need to dig for hope in someone else's dumpster.

They’ve put the stolen uniforms and gear on; if they are quick enough, they might manage to get out of this hellhole on the same night and no one should look at them weirdly if they are flying above their heads, considering it’s expected of soldiers to do that.

It reeks, it's hot and it's damp. People do not seem scared of them at all. If anything, they seem mad. Erwin thinks back to his homeland, to his little caged town and how he used to stare outside the window, hoping soldiers wouldn't pick their house that day to be turned upside down and destroyed in case they were hiding something that might prove they are disloyal to the Marley government. The Underground doesn't seem to work the same way. 

He realises soldiers do not visit this place enough because they are in as much danger here as outside the walls. The market streets are silent and people murmur things under their breath as they walk past them. Above, there’s only darkness but he wonders what it's like to live without knowing what the stars are, or even when the sun sets and the moon comes out. There’s no day and light and there’s probably no right or wrong under here either. Only survival. 

Moving into an alley could prove dangerous. Erwin and his team are armed but it would not be a good idea to fight in a closed area. The markets are swarming with people so they are susceptible to pickpocketing at the most.

“This makes me grateful for the dry bread and cheese,” Mike mutters, looking at the moulded food on the shelves.

“I can't see shit,” Wald says. “Can we climb up the other end?”

Erwin is sure that if there's a way up to the richest city in Paradis then it will not be for simple citizens to use. But then again, it's possible these people go there to steal; that is probably where all this food comes from. The wealthy eat and discard quickly, the poor fight for the crumbs. 

“Once we are far from the markets, we will try to climb the pillars,” Erwin says. “We might get a better view of our surroundings.”

The narrow streets extend to no end and there is no respect for other people's spaces. Some trot by with their horses, leaving manure behind and people step on it without any care in the world. There are no carriages here and it's either because no one ever put them together or because there is no use. Everyone is carrying their goods on their backs or their heads. Their clothes are ragged and only a few of them wear any footwear.

When the food markets end, other businesses begin. There's ruckus coming from run-down houses that could be working as gambling hideouts and bars; they cross paths with men talking to what are only kids and walking with them into places that Erwin can only hope are not brothels.

“Are there places like this in Marley?” Mike asks.

Erwin doesn't know but he is sure their motherland isn't free of any sins so he spares no answer.

“Please, let's get out of here,” Wald says dejectedly.

“We hold no power in uniforms down here, don't let down your guard.”

“How are we expecting to fit in the richest town after smelling like shit?”

“We first need to get out of here,” Mike offers.

“Fuck this place, Erwin! We're going to get stabbed for our blades. Even for our fucking boots!”

“Shut it,” Mike tells him.

“Are you so excited to die down here under another one of his suicidal plans?”

“If you keep talking, you're going to make us easy bait,” Erwin reprimands.

“We're already bait for being down here!”

There's a sudden scream ahead that manages to shut Wald up. A man starts running in their direction but Erwin dodges him easily, only to notice he's actually fleeing the scene.

Now it's a groan that calls their attention and they can see two people brawling. One is breaking the other's arm in an easy move. Erwin thinks he's a kid, too skinny and small to be causing such harm to someone twice his size. He's also carrying military gear around his waist, and after his opponent is on the floor, crying, he shoots his grapple and flies away.

“What the fuck is that!” Wald exclaims, calling the stranger's attention and so Erwin sees him.

He's scrawny and pale, just like a creature that dwells inside a cave. He finds Erwin's eyes and stares, frowning, as he slides away. Black hair and a deathly look are the only things Erwin can point out in the next second before he's gone; disappearing into the darkness alongside two other shadows.

“That didn't look like military,” Mike points out.

“It appears we're not the only ones with our hands in stolen equipment.”

Erwin stares into the darkness and wonders if the creature is still lurking around, waiting for his time to attack like a predator that can stand still to identify its prey and catch it when the time is right.

“This place is flooded with weirdos,” Wald mutters.

“It takes months of military training to master this shit,” Mike points out.

Erwin nods. “These are not normal criminals.”

“Deserters?”

“Too young.”

“What are you two going on about? Let's move out,” Wald hurries, trying to step forward but Erwin places a hand on his chest.

“Three criminals with manoeuvring gear might just be what we're looking for.”

“What?”

“They are a threat now but could become allies.”

“No, no, no. Erwin. Stop being so fucking greedy. We're on another mission.”

“This might prove useful. People that know how to move down here like them surely know how to move above as well.”

“You want us to side with criminals?”

“We are criminals in this country, in case you haven't noticed.”

“No, we're not. We're above these devils, we're worthy warriors from our motherland of Marley!”

“Keep it down, dipshit,” Mike mutters.

“That's who we are within, but not to them,” he says in automatic. “And we're expecting to blend in, we might as well learn from what are clearly professionals.”

“We can't pay them,” Mike says. “I doubt people like that work for free.”

“We will have to bribe them, then.”

Now

Levi's eyes won't leave Erwin's. And as hard as it is to stare back, this is a battle Erwin can't lose. He's here for Levi and he won't let him slip through his fingers. 

“I suggest you accept this offer and come with us the easy way,” Erwin offers.

Levi doesn't answer. He doesn't look like the type to talk as much as he's the type to act.

“I could also leave her in the hands of my friend,” Erwin threatens, looking at the girl. “and take you with me the same. The police will be happy to have their equipment back. Nobody will miss you.”

“You don't play fair,” Levi says under his breath. He's visibly disgusted by Erwin's threat but he doesn't look at his friend, even if it made sense that he would want to check on the girl.

“True, I do not.”

Leaving Levi's friends behind would be just as dangerous as taking the three of them altogether. But if he wants Levi's trust, he will keep his friends safe. He believes that to people like them, the prospect of being above is enticing enough. 

Besides, Erwin plans to give them much more than that; he will take them outside the walls to see what's beyond them.

“I do not want to underestimate you either, Levi.”

Erwin knows this is not the best way to start off a good relationship but there's no other way to engage with people like them. He will have to find ways to show he doesn't have bad intentions but once again, that's a matter of patience.

“You've seen right through us,” Erwin says. “Though considering how bad these uniforms fit, it might just prove everyone else in this country lives under a veil of lies.”

Levi squints, but he's not gritting his teeth anymore. Just at that moment, the girl starts moving and it's only then that Levi averts his eyes.

“Shit,” she spits out and Erwin makes a gesture to leave her be. She's too beaten up to escape like this and he's not sure how hard Wald could hit a little girl.

“Iz, are you ok?” The blond asks.

“Fuck,” she groans.

“Stay put, kid,” Mike says.

“Tell her not to move,” Erwin orders. “My friend here is not particularly delicate with children as you might've noticed.”

“I'm not a child, asshole,” she croaks.

“Iz, stay put,” Ackerman says. His tone is delicate when he refers to her.

“No, we're not soldiers,” Erwin explains, following up on his words, focusing on the matter at hand. “We don't need your strength for the Corps. We need your strength outside of the Walls.”

Levi’s lips twitch.

“Isn't that what the Corps do?” The blond asks.

“Beyond the walls and the lands of this country,” Erwin explains, only getting more weird looks.

“You're an idiot,” Levi says. “Even more suicidal that the Corps.”

“I want to take you out of this country.”

“What even is there outside this country?” The blond asks.

“I can tell you all about it. But first, we need to get out of this place.”

“Yeah, and Erwin is too soft to kill you all so stop refusing or we'll leave your dead bodies down here and impale you until you calm the fuck down,” Wald threatens almost ruining this whole plan. 

Erwin would like to avoid violence since this is not what he's here to offer. He wants to offer hope and opportunities. They already have enough violence where they come from.

“You will walk to the surface uncuffed,” Erwin offers, standing up. “As a peace offering. We mean no harm if you want to leave this place as much as we do.”

He looks at Mike and nods so he proceeds to take cuffs out of them. Wald is clearly unhappy with it. 

“Then why attack us?” Levi asks, getting up, looking at his friend, Iz.

She's very tough and stubborn, probably as much as her friends. Even after such a beating, she stands up straight and spits blood on the floor, scowling at everyone.

“Should I have approached you at the bars you don't visit and invited a drink you wouldn't have accepted?” Erwin asks.

“Get him away from her,” the blond demands, staring at Wald.

“I've already offered you free movement, you can't expect us to give you your weapons back and not escort you.” Erwin would very much like to keep Wald out of this but if he makes these criminals feel on edge, then he will use it in his favour. “I can promise you we will keep her innocence intact.”

The group squints, looking at each other. “What innocence are you fucking talking about?” Ackerman spits out.

“Her... Wald will keep his hands away from her. She's... A virgin, I presume,” he explains but the group still looks at him quizzically. “Untouched?” He tries.

“This dude thinks I don't fuck?” the girl exclaims, inviting her friends to grow smug smiles on their faces. “I'm not innocent, asshole.”

“You're so... young,” Erwin mumbles, taken aback.

“I've fucked and killed more people than you, blondie,” she snaps. “I almost slit this asshole’s throat if he didn't hit my head with a fucking rock!”

Erwin believes her. Wald is not that strong but something makes him feel sorry for her and he only hopes she didn't have to sell her body for food. 

He can't stand the idea, despite having been raised for war in Marley from such a young age. He and his friends had to start training at eleven years old and sex was the last thing on his mind. Older soldiers only took them into bars to meet women when he turned fifteen two years ago; to have some fun before they died, or so they said. 

He's cared for many younger warriors too and they were like little brothers and sisters to him. He hated seeing them going the same path as him. Knowing that down here they don't have a choice either breaks his heart.

“We need to get moving and go above,” Erwin says sternly. “We will keep our eyes on you at all times, that's not negotiable. We can offer you freedom only if you leave this place with us.”

He could stay here and bargain with this little man for hours but he would like to get it over with. He has nothing else to offer, not down here nor between these walls. Once they are outside, his strategic view will change. There will be no reason to tussle, there will be no other way to go. But most importantly, if the Founder's powers don’t affect this little man, then he’s the most valuable finding for Marley in ages. So Erwin will need to lure him and keep him interested as they move forward if he wants his trust.

“Fine,” Levi finally says, flicking his hair back. Dark short hair falls over his eyelashes, it's damped and filled with dirt from fighting and struggling on the floor but there's only one tiny scratch on his face, right on the crease of his lips.

He looks nowhere else but into Erwin’s eyes, his frown impossibly deeper. There’s fire and hate; he’s like a caged animal who has always known his faith will bring him no pleasure but has no way around it.

He wants Erwin dead.

Chapter Text

Three weeks ago

“These are kids, Erwin, we can handle them,” Wald says.

“They are not much younger than us. We shouldn't disregard them. We can’t expect to beat them in their own territory,” he answers, checking the grip of his stolen gear. They don’t have enough blades and getting new ones won’t be easy. 

“They are criminals.”

“So are we, in this instance,” Erwin says. They’ve already been through this.

The buckles from the gear dig into his skin and they hurt. Erwin and his squad will need to get a whole lot more comfortable with this technology before going through with their plan but training in the woods is no longer safe; the military will soon get suspicious if the same three boys keep going to the forests outside Stohess without following a group. They’ve already had to take their jackets off as it seems Survey Corps are not normally found so deep inside the walls. Some soldiers that saw them leaving the Underground entrance also asked what they were sent to do down there. Erwin doesn't want to risk making up more excuses.

“What’s the plan, then?” Mike asks. “Reconnaissance?”

Erwin nods. “We will continue to observe how they conduct business and mimic them until we find a pattern; offer something they might find interest in but not too good that it would get suspicious.” They will be suspicious all the same.

After retreating and going back to Rose Fields, Erwin decided on a change of plans. The three fearless devils are too interesting to miss out on and Erwin could use the help of someone from the inside. From what little they could observe, the group sneaks around the Underground daily and all of their encounters end in a fight.

“You can't keep pulling shit like this, Erwin. The plan is to get an Ackerman back home with us.”

“He broke the arm of a man three times his size without breaking a sweat.”

Mike squints. “You think that's it? It’s them?”

“Fuck,” Wald breathes out. “Not this again.”

“They are all skilled with this gear,” Mike points out.

“Yes, even the little girl,” Erwin says. "I'd like to observe them for a while longer to make sure."

As good as all of them are, they don’t look like brothers and sisters, and Erwin’s read all about Ackermans being dark of hair so he wants to see that one in particular. He wants to see him fight again and conduct his business. He can't imagine what people with his skills might be doing down there, what his goals are, what he fights for. It'd be interesting to know if Ackermans are feared down there and if that's the reason the last name is not heard above. Maybe he was sent there and that's not where he lives. He might well live in Mitras and work as a hitman for some rich family.

The only way to find out more about him is going to the Underground again and doing so on a daily basis. Sneak around and pay attention to his moves without getting spotted. But then again, Ackerman might spot them. He might be young but he doesn't look like a novice, he's a professional and Erwin needs to know where he got that from. If it is hereditary or just pure training. He wants to know if what he had the privilege to observe was the myth in action and how accurate the tales are.

“We should be on the other side of that stupid wall!” Wald tells him.

“We might not need to cross it.”

“How many times do you think I'll follow through with your stupid orders?”

“Is there anything else you’d rather be doing?”

“I want to go back home. ”

“If we don’t have the Ackerman, we have nothing. You can go back and die on your own against titans or make it through and die a slow death for desertion. I would rather you stay by my side and help me accomplish this for our motherland,” he says sternly, looking at Mike who nods back at him. 

“We can't keep following every impulsive decision you make.”

“That was all this was from day one, man,” Mike tells him.

“I am not a capricious leader, Wald. I do not pull orders out of thin air. But we are here on a hunch and you always knew this. It's been proven that the Ackerman clan has either lost renown or has disappeared for the common people but they are still here and they are still valuable.”

“You're just picking random hobos!”

“I am not, and we will look into this. If you're not convinced after gathering enough proof, then we can discuss it again. But if they are as good warriors as the tales indicate, then we know they are our men.”

“So… what—what now? Where do we sleep? What do we eat?” Wald asks and Erwin takes it as a victory even if he doesn't hold any of the answers.

“Splitting will be too dangerous at this point; if we're going down there, we're doing it together.”

“The woods here are too fancy, I don't think we can find jobs as easily without calling attention from the landowners,” Mike offers, and unfortunately, he's right.

“At least we can still gather in private to discuss our matters.”

Erwin will miss that. He knows Mike and Wald will too. Even if they are constantly hiding, scared of calling too much attention and starving, there’s something about sitting in nature, on grass, surrounded by trees. The internment zone is a concrete trap: no one gets out, no one looks up, no one enjoys the moments outside. Erwin remembers the day his father told him that they were developing colour television in first-world countries; he hasn’t seen it with his own eyes yet but he imagines this is what it’s like. There are no colours in the internment zone, only grey.

Now

“Hey, mister blond man,” Isabel calls.

Erwin turns around, frowning. She talks in a very chirpy, funny way, almost as if they weren’t several layers under the ground and away from the sunlight or fresh air. Every step Erwin takes is heavier than the previous one and he won’t stop sweating; there’s a pressure on his skull that just won’t quit, he can feel his muscles lose their strength by the minute and his eyesight is already blurry. But these people have grown used to it.

“Why did you call me a bargain?” she asks.

“He called you a virgin, dumbass,” Wald sneers. “Now keep walking.”

“Watch your mouth, pretty boy,” Farlan warns.

“Enough,” Erwin chides. The heat is going to his head and they still have a long way up.

“But what does it mean?” she asks.

“Please, remain silent until we leave this place,” Erwin pleads with as much strength as he can convey.

“The pressure getting to ya?” Farlan asks smugly.

“You will escort you out of here, but will be set free once we are above,” Erwin answers, to keep focused.

“That’s not the way out, though. You know that, right?”

Erwin is starting to believe the girl might be just as obnoxious as Wald, only louder.

He doesn't plan to outsmart these three in their own territory but he cannot let them in on their plan full-on. He will have to go through it piece by piece. And he's been asked way too many times what soldiers are doing down there, why the corps are walking around Rose, why they are not training in other towns near Maria. He doesn't want to risk being spotted again, wearing a uniform and carrying gear. Least of all, taking three criminals with him.

“We’re not leaving this place on regular terms,” he says.

“Then you will want to avoid the northeast entrance,” Farlan tells him.

“We are not going through any entrance.”

“You're taking us through the fucking sewers?”

Erwin turns around, noticing everyone has stopped walking. Mike is frowning at the far back. Being polite and restraining from being violent is only making this whole process a lot slower. But Isabel's face is swollen and her nose is still bleeding, he doesn't want to risk her safety. 

“The water drainage,” he says. He's beaten too, the cut on his arm stings and his head is spinning which won't get any better down here. He wishes he had an aspirin and a glass of water. He somehow misses taking a sip of whiskey with General Magath as well. This is Erwin's first mission on his own, properly leading a squad and making decisions. He's been confident so far, finally feeling in his element; he's sure his father would be proud.

“That's suicide,” Farlan offers.

“The water is too strong. What are you talking about?” Isabel points out.

Wald hits her head and Levi surges towards him—he doesn’t talk at all but he acts. He holds him by the collar of his shirt and kicks his stomach. The tussle is a stupid reckless thing and a waste of time. Mike and Erwin have to split them but it’s not easy. Levi throws a kick that makes Erwin lose his footing and throws him to the ground but he manages to take Wald with him. Mike gets a punch and a lip cut too but he doesn't reciprocate and having Farlan caring for Isabel distracts Levi from continuing the fight.

“Enough,” Erwin breathes out, holding his leg. For a second he feared it might have come out of place. “There's no need to grow as enemies. We need to get out of here and that makes us allies.”

“You want to unite us with these devils.” Wald spits on the floor, getting up. “I'm nothing like them.”

“When we get home we will be equals too,” Erwin says. “So I suggest you make your peace.”

“Yeah,” Mike says, checking the blood on his lip. “We're devils anywhere we go. So what's the difference?”

“What's this devil talk?” Isabel asks. “Are you Wallists or some shit?”

“Let's move out. We don't need to spend more time down here than needed.”

They pick up the pace and walk until they are far enough from the populated houses that the drainage tunnel is visible. Leaving this place with so many people on his back will be hard, especially if he wants to go unnoticed. But according to the maps Erwin has seen, they could grapple up these water tubes and climb up enough to get out to a faraway deserted place.

Erwin needs to keep his leadership strong, not only with his squad but also with his new so-called allies. He's getting tired of running out of time and now he's also running out of breath.

A voice in the back of his head wants him to give up and tells him this will not work out. At least he knows Mike will step up and take these people back to Marley if the water pressure flushes Erwin away.

“Why don't you just tell us your stupid little plan?” Farlan asks.

“Let's get ourselves above, please,” Mike insists. He can tell Erwin is growing impatient; he’s probably just as tired and uncomfortable too.

“What even for? Why kidnap us and not pay us if you want something from us?”

“He's a kid playing with swords,” Ackerman says, voice horse. It's the first time he's spoken other than to defend his little friend.

“And he's not even good at that,” Isabel quips.

“Is that what you want us for? To teach you how to swing your blades, blondie?” Farlan asks.

“We don't use swords where we come from,” Erwin says. He shouldn't engage, this is completely unrelated but he's too tired.

“And what do you use in Mitras? Butter knives?” Farlan sneers. “Or do you hug it out?”

“Does daddy pay for your ruckus?” she jests, her voice chiming in gratingly.

“What kind of leader are you!” Wald exclaims, pushing Erwin's back. “You're gonna let these little bastards talk to you like that?”

“Do you expect me to beat the respect out of them?” Erwin snaps back, slapping Wald's hands away. “Don't you think they know they hold an advantage down here? Don't you think they have already planned out how to kill us?” He stares at Levi who frowns back. Erwin was once told he was too young to have a death wish and he could swear he sees it in Levi's eyes.

“The break is over, come on. Let's move,” Mike says, making everyone march forward as Erwin stands behind to catch his breath.

He brushes his hair back and breathes in but the air is not enough, his lungs feel empty and half their normal size. He lengthened his own life by dodging the awful destiny of inheriting a titan for a frail dream, a childish whim. 

The Ackerman tales he grew up learning about have always been enticing, he's managed to talk each and every one of his generals into this plan just to look at this eugenics marvel and now that he's found one all he can do is freeze while staring at him.

He's so sure this is it that he's afraid he might be wrong. And achieving this only fuels Erwin's dreams further. Erwin's not pleased by just having met him, by being able to see him in action. He wants to see and know everything that Levi can do, how his skills work and if he's aware of his non-human strength.

But Erwin also knows that there's a lot at stake and that he's risking everything and everyone's lives. He can't just fixate on this when there's still so much to do. 

He wishes he had the courage he pretends to have, the one he had when he put his idea forward when he took that ship here and walked titan-infested lands. 

Eight months ago

“Well, I can't say I'm surprised Smith would rather leave the country than lose to me,” Zeke sneers, scratching his cheek with the opposite hand.

“Marley has been in this… cold war for a hundred years now. We need to be ahead of the game.”

“It’s a suicide mission,” Magath says.

“It’s just another Eldian,” Calvi answers leisurely. He’s leaning over his hand as ever, looking everywhere in the room but into Erwin’s eyes.

The war room is not particularly modest, just like his office. Calvi enjoys his privileges and he likes showing his Eldians soldiers how much less they are than him.

There's a large and heavy rectangular table right in the middle, big enough for all generals to sit around it, there's also a large map of Marley on the wall right above the side table where they hold their liquor.

“Risking my life for Marely would be an honour, sir,” Erwin tells him.

“We plan to send unripped kids to retrieve the founder. This might give us the upper hand after all,” Calvi deadpans.

“The Ackerman clan has been feared and despised by King Fritz for centuries. With them by our side, our winning chances would be greater. They are formidable fighters, sir, and loyal to their cause.”

“Loyal to Eldians.” Magath is leaning on his palms, frowning at Erwin. He’s always been too caring for his squads but that never made him any less sceptical.

“Sir, I do not want this clan for myself. We are not worthy of their power or respect. My duty is with my motherland, with Marley; to right the wrongs of my ancestors.”

The answer does not seem to be enough for Magath who’s gritting his teeth but Calvi lets out a deep sigh, looking sleepy and tired of this meeting already; talking war strategy with devils is not his favourite way of spending time. It was hard enough for Erwin to get a position on the table for minor information input, but he's good with words, with maps, and he knows how to read, which is not common among Eldians, so there was nothing they could do about that. Erwin’s not here because Calvi likes him but because he can use him. 

“This would add a step forward for our infiltration,” Zeke says. “Smith could risk getting spotted. It's a dangerous manoeuvre.”

“Smith, you are here to inherit the beast titan. Do you understand what it means to step down from such honour?” Magath asks him.

“We can’t just expect to disembark on their island and take what our motherland wants without repercussions,” he answers. “I do not expect this to bring glory to my family name. I do this to save this country.”

“I'm getting restless listening to you talk like a war general,” Calvi says slowly, pacing every word, saliva building up in his mouth and moving around his tongue. It's unnerving to listen to him and look at him. “You will go to the devil island and retrieve the Ackerman clan,” he says, pointing a lazy finger at Erwin but not looking at him, still not swallowing. “Our plan to steal the founder remains the same, so you better hurry up.”

“Sir—” Zeke says but Erwin interrupts him.

“I will be back in Marley within a year,” he says. 

Now

A large concrete canal wide enough to fit a car gapes above them. Erwin assumes all this water comes from the many residences above as a rain drainage to control flooding and ensure the wastewater that needs to go somewhere doesn't contaminate the people.

“Fuck! you guys are really suicidal!” Farlan shouts to be heard over the loud water stream.

“Isabel will go first and we'll move in this same order. I'll go in last! Grapple on the canal walls and don't stop until you're outside!” Erwin orders.

“Are you fucking serious?” Wald asks. “This is your grand plan?” he exclaims.

“Most of this water comes from smaller pipes, keep going until you reach the higher grills! The exit is surrounded by trees!”

“We'll drown.” Levi's voice is not loud but Erwin can hear him. He doesn't look afraid, he looks mad.

“I suggest you hold your breath,” Erwin offers.

“Come on, kid,” Mike hurries. “I'll go right behind you. You'll be alright.”

“I don't need you fucking babysitting me!” she says, shoving her arms around.

“Iz, do as he says. He's a big guy, he's the best chance you get of not getting flushed like shit,” Farlan growls, frowning at Erwin.

“Shit,” she mutters, walking closer to the stream. The water spilling is already wetting her clothes. 

She looks back one more time, staring at her friends and then shoots, propelling herself into the canal. Mike follows right after and they both get lost into the darkness. 

“My turn, I guess,” Farlan concedes, shooting his grapple without waiting for an answer.

Wald is not ready to follow, he can't get a good hold of his grips, slippery around his hands. It takes too long for Erwin to notice he's shaking and sniffing.

Levi's restless too, with his grips in hand, ready to step forward and jump right after him.

“Wald!” Erwin calls, getting closer. He's sure the water must stink but it is hard to tell what doesn't under here. “Grapple right above the canal!” He orders, pointing a finger. “It will help you swing into it; as soon as you cross the threshold, shoot another one to the end and hold your breath! You'll get to an air bubble once you reach the curve!” He explains. Some water made it into his mouth, his hair sticking to his face and his clothes to his skin.

Wald nods, looking down at his hands and adjusting his fingers; he looks up and follows suit. 

Levi doesn't jump right after, surprisingly. He waits until Wald gets into the water tunnel before stepping up.

“See you on the other side!” Erwin shouts, and Levi frowns at him, shooting his grapple without looking, as if he can aim by just instincts, and leaves at once.

Just as Erwin hopes Mikes takes care of Isabel, he hopes Levi takes care of Wald if he happens to fall behind. 

Erwin shoots and follows his own instructions, even if his balance is not as good as everyone that went before him. He takes a deep breath before getting into the waters and shoots a third time to move up where he can take some air in.

Inside the tunnel is cold and dark; they have to move following their intuition alone and even if there's room for air, the water splash makes it really hard to breathe.

The next grapple gets stuck in the wrong wall and Erwin is pulled back into the current. He swallows water, having trouble to move away but he's fast enough to jump to another wall, though he's not sure how far behind he's now, coughing and panting and heaving. 

He twists his hips to keep trying, the next grapple pulls him up but he's still having a lot of trouble breathing and he starts wondering if anyone made it, if Levi might have to come for him, of all the people, in the end.

The pressure in his chest is too much to bear but somehow his body is still strong enough to keep moving on its own. For a moment, he wonders if he will die as soon as he makes it out of this tunnel, then he thinks he might deserve it for bringing his friends here and kidnapping three other kids as well.

By the time he shoots his next grapple, he’s not propelled. He fights the urge to take a deep breath through his mouth and shoots another one in case it was stuck but it doesn’t work. The sound of the water current is loud and the cold is numbing. Erwin’s fingers can barely grip around the wire to hold on strong and climb up. He pushes his feet against the concrete walls of the tunnel and fights to pull himself up but the slimy fungi makes it slippery and hard.

The grips don’t work, the hooks won’t recoil and he can’t move up, not without falling back again until he’s hanging from his gear and pressed against the walls, trying to breath in the little air left slowly and softly without coughing, trying to keep the water away from his face as much as possible.

There’s water in his eyes, in his boots, in his lungs and in his ears. He can’t listen anymore and everything is echoing around him. He places his hand on the piston by his hips and tries to find a way to reel himself manually but he’s doing it by memory. He tried to look into how the mechanism works but he’s no engineer, he’s not sure if this is possible and even though he’s sure it should be dark out here, he can suddenly see light. 

Everything turns a weird shade of grey in front of him. The brick wall looks safe but he cannot climb it with his bare hands. He finds they are red. He’s bleeding. His face is bleeding and his back is bleeding too.

“Lose the gear!” A voice echoes. “Lose the gear, dammit!”

Erwin knows it is a bad idea; if he loses the gear then he's done for. He will fall right into the depths of this tunnel and be taken into the current flow until he reaches the lower layers of the Underground while he drowns to death. Yet he takes his hands to his waist and unbuckles the belt.

He doesn't fall. 

Levi's holding him. He knows it's Levi because he can feel it: in his touch and in his strength. When he looks up, he can see Levi’s black wings spreading above them and flying away taking him to safety.

Four years ago

The head of the paper target is right at the centre of the rifle scope and Erwin takes a shot. It's a perfect hit. Sometimes, he likes trying to hit that same mark again without tearing any more paper. Other times, he likes shooting the whole red centre of it, carving out a hollow target. He's great with the rifle and he's amazing with pistols. But those skills aren't enough to inherit a titan. 

He's not the fastest nor the strongest in wrestling. Everyone keeps telling him his head is bigger than his whole body and that so are his eyebrows. That’s how they call him too, Eyebrows.

His reflexes aren’t as sharp as the other's either. He’s resilient though, he can say that much about himself but it’s possible he just doesn't want to inherit a titan. He would much rather stay behind and observe the group, find their strengths and assess how to use them to their advantage. He’s smart, and he has shown enough loyalty and discipline to his superiors to get at least permission to read when he’s not training. Most of the books he’s read have several ripped pages and his favourite hobby is to hypothesise what they were trying to cut out.

He's got friends too. He gets along with his peers and some enjoy talking about the skies as much as he does. Zeke has grown to be like a second brother to him after his parents suffered such a hurtful fate. Mike is strong and skilled too, and Erwin always learns something from him.

At home, his father hugs him tightly and kisses his head, congratulating him on another successful day of training, even though he knows Erwin has little chance of bringing his family the honour of Marleyan citizenship. Zeke is the one that gets along with Ksaver the most; he's his favourite and the two are constantly playing baseball together, even if the beast titan isn't something soldiers thrive to inherit.

Erwin's father makes dinner, happy to have acquired some fresh tomatoes at the market; he’s proud of himself because he woke up earlier than ever to get them, and he’s been looking forward to eating sweet juicy tomatoes for a while now. 

Fresh food is not easy to find in the internment markets, especially not the ones that are hard to grow. Winters are easier, making pumpkins and apples comprise their entire diet. Summers are when they starve the most and when Erwin hates looking at the lilac lips of generals who have just eaten cherries or drunk wine. 

Right now, in this dry summer, they’ve eaten nothing but rice, corn and bread, and it’s very dull. Erwin would like to try nuts someday, and beer too.

“Did they let you read something today, Erwin?” his father asks, soaking a slice of bread in the tomato juice on his plate.

Erwin shakes his head, mouth full.

“What did you do today?”

“I was asked to help other soldiers with their rifles. How to steady them and how to aim. I also helped them to breathe properly since I think it’s very important.”

“Erwin, that’s incredible! You’re training other people already!”

“I wouldn't call it training,” Erwin says, frowning. “I only helped them.”

“That is true. But if they don’t know how to do it properly, and you are correcting their mistakes and teaching them new techniques, it means you are training them.”

Erwin understands the logic but fears it might go to his head. His father has told him to never try to outsmart anyone in the military and never talk back to any of his generals, so he thinks his father is just staying this because he’s proud, not because he expects Erwin to thrive in training other soldiers.

“I would’ve much rather been reading,” he says.

“I know, little bean. You can read something tonight. And I will try to get you a newspaper for tomorrow,” his father says. But newspapers are hard to get; only a few pages reach the internment zone and they are mostly sports.

“Do you think I could ever write a book?” Erwin asks shyly. “Or an.. essay? About what I've read… my ideas?”

“You… could,” his father ponders. “I think your general might let you in if it's for military purposes. And surely only they would be allowed to read them.”

“As if they would ever read a devil's essay.”

His father offers an empathetic look. “Writing has been considered dangerous because of the secrets it might hold,” he explains. “So as long as you write them publicly, it should be okay. It doesn't matter if none of them read what you have to say as long as you were able to write it. Don't you think so?”

Erwin scrunches his lips and nods, curtly. 

“I didn’t know you particularly enjoy writing.”

“I like…” Erwin muses. “It’s silly but I like the way paper feels under a pen,” he explains, brushing the tips of his fingers together as a way of recalling that sensation. “It's somehow similar to how good the recoil of a gun feels when you know how to hold it properly before taking a shot.”

His father opens his eyes wide and looks away, letting out a deep sigh.

“You will be a brilliant writer, Erwin,” he says.

“I haven’t written anything yet.”

“That’s true,” he concedes, huffing a laugh. “But you’re an amazing spokesman already. Why don't you ask General Magath next time he invites you to his office? He's kind enough to listen, maybe he'll indulge you.”

Now

The voice of his father echoes inside his head, distant. He’s hot, so hot, burning up and his chest hurts and his head hurts and then he gets sick.

“Erwin!” Mike exclaims and finally, he can see the grass under him and feel the water tickling his nose and throat as he coughs and vomits; his body twists on the ground.

“Fuck! How did you do that?” someone asks, he thinks it’s Farlan but his head feels heavy and everything is spinning around him.

“Erwin, for fuck’s sake,” Mike breathes out, pressing a hand on his back.

He can’t answer or breathe properly yet, but a few memories start getting back to him. The watery taste on his tongue makes him heave again but there’s nothing else to throw up. He was surrounded by darkness and engulfed by water, he doesn't understand how he’s holding his weight in his hands right now when he was just dangling moments ago. 

He looks at his hands and he brushes his face, his neck. He could swear he’s been bleeding but he’s only wet and dirty and pale, shivering under the morning skies.

“Is he… gonna be ok?” The voice is soft and high-pitched. It’s Isabel’s voice.

Erwin knows very well the people that are around him and what he’s doing but he can’t find the strength to get up or even speak. His mind tells him he should stop looking so weak but he doesn’t care, he can’t believe he made it out of that hellhole; he can’t believe he put all these people in this either.

“Levi,” he croaks.

“You ran out of gas, asshole,” Levi answers.

“This shit works with gas, Erwin,” Mike says. “We never replenished, it’s a miracle we didn’t fall face flat in the Underground.”

“We knew,” Erwin manages. The more he talks the worse the taste is. “We knew it worked on gas.”

“Yeah, maybe you did.”

“We need to build a fire,” Levi says. “Or you’ll die.”

Erwin can see Mike standing up from the edges. “It will attract too much attention if we do it here. We have to move away from this forest.”

“Let’s move then,” Wald says.

Mike helps him get up, they are all dripping wet and Erwin’s shivering; his legs don’t have the strength to hold his weight. Farlan shows up to his side and helps Mike carry him and they force Erwin's arms around their necks.

They find a spot behind an abandoned house and Erwin can see other houses far away with people walking out of them. Maybe it’s the cold in his bones, and the sensation of water still lingering inside his lungs but the place looks grim and unfriendly. Farlan says this is the Kiminari Village and that it's not very populated because there’s not much to hunt around here and everything they harvest is sold for pennies to Mitras.

“So you’re not from in there,” Farlan assesses, looking at Erwin. He's talking about Mitras.

“We’re not.”

“And you want to take us outside the walls?” he asks.

Erwin nods and looks behind him still surprised at how far away they are from them and how small they look. He has once wondered what'd be like if Marley was surrounded by walls, if Eldians in there were locked inside higher walls themselves.

“Why didn't you kidnap actual survey corps soldiers?” Isabel asks. “We're not the real deal, we just got these from—”

“Iz, he doesn't need to know,” Levi chides.

“We don’t care where you stole the gear from. If anything, we need to steal some more,” Erwin says, looking at Levi. “I've lost mine and we have run out of gas.”

“Does your suicidal plan includes fighting titans?” Levi asks flatly. “Do you know how many soldiers die from just scouting?”

“We’re aware,” Erwin says. He never manages to elaborate when Levi’s talking to him. He seems too stubborn, too confident.

The fire gets bigger as Mike and Isabel feed it slowly with branches and logs. The sun is already up and they should get going before noon. It's still very cold around them, making every one of them get as close to the fire as possible.

He’s sitting right between Farlan and Levi, his eyelids heavy. He can’t remember the last time he felt this tired or this hungry, nor the last time he slept. The warmth is cosy even if his back is still cold. Everyone’s taken their footwear and socks out and placed them around the fire to dry.

“Don’t fall asleep,” Levi tells him. 

Erwin’s head jerks and he opens his eyes. 

“You won’t wake up. You need to eat first.” The ring in his voice is soothing. At least he doesn’t sound mad anymore.

For once, he doesn't feel alone in his decisions. Maybe experiencing this dangerous escape has brought them together somehow. They look like a team at last, helping each other and thinking things through, working for their well-being.

“We should get a hare… or some squirrels,” Farlan says. 

“We can get those?” Mike asks.

“Yeah, big boy. What do you mean?”

“Where are they?” Mike looks around, confused. Erwin didn’t know there was wildlife they could feast on. They didn't dare to attack the cattle for just some meat.

“That guy wanted you dead,” Levi says in a low voice.

Erwin looks at Wald; he took his shirt off and is trying to dry it next to the fire. 

“I can imagine,” he answers. He doesn’t think expressing his gratitude for saving his life will mean anything to Levi. “I don’t… I don’t know what happened.”

“You forgot to hold your breath.”

Erwin huffs, looking down at his weary hands, the cuts in his palms from holding tight to the wire, the way his fingers are trembling. It almost makes him miss the blisters from using his rifle. 

Chapter Text

Three years ago

Erwin's come twice already but his cock is still hard so he keeps at it. Fucking is most definitely the best thing in the world; it's the best he's felt in his life. And it's so superior to masturbation, by a long shot. Mainly because a cunt is hotter and tighter and wetter but also because he doesn't have to hide from his father to do it privately, considering how small his house is. It's also better to have a real woman riding him than basing everything on his imagination or the catalogue models from the advertisements he walks by on his way to headquarters.

This woman must be over ten years older than him, closer to twenty most likely. He is not sure if she's pretty or not, he thinks he doesn't care because he just likes how this feels and that's the only thing flooding his mind. 

He wonders if Mike's still in the next room or if he left after climaxing the first time. The rest of the soldiers said they would be waiting outside. The older soldiers called this an initiation, claiming everyone aspiring to be a career military man does this at the age of fourteen. Erwin thought it was a stupid idea but he can't deny the results. He would like to know what it'd be like if he were to do it with someone he knows, someone he'd like to kiss. He doesn't want to kiss this woman.

She's not enjoying this but she's still nice to him. She must be used to having young soldiers in her bed. Erwin hopes he's at least a bit kinder than some of them. He didn't have any demands, to begin with, and he likes how everything has turned out.

Walking out is more embarrassing than he would've expected; he didn't even consider it. Wald is lounging on a bench, looking at the night sky and smoking a cigarette. His hair is dishevelled and there's a soft smile on his face when he cocks his head to look at Erwin. The women are probably pleased to have clients like him around instead of guys like Sheldon, who's missing his front teeth after falling right on top of a rock. He's also too skinny. Or boys like Erwin whose childhood nicknames have taught him he's not kind to the eyes. Wald's got a soft nose and a big back.

“How was it, Eyebrows?”

Erwin huffs a laugh and doesn't answer to avoid sounding lewd. 

Mike comes out right after him and tells everyone to fuck off when they ask him how it went, but he looks like he run a marathon so the answer is evident.

They walk the streets back to the headquarters dorms drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes. Sheldon is the one that talks the most; he likes letting everyone in every little detail and he says he can't wait to get there again. Zeke, for his part, gets pestered for going down on the woman he was paired up with. He claims he was just curious and wanted to learn how to do it right, and that he will now eat every woman in the squads out. 

Back in his bunk, Erwin's dizzy and exhausted but he doesn't go to sleep. 

He thinks about writing, about the rough sound of a pen scratching a piece of paper and the spots of ink left behind. He daydreams about being able to buy a pen just like the one Magath uses sometimes… if he's ever allowed to have that much money on him. He remembers the letters his father wrote before burning them and the signatures that officers and generals scribble in those documents Erwin is asked to move around.

Paying a woman for pleasure feels wrong, he realises. It wasn't really nice of him to force her into sex in exchange for money for something he should've earned. Something that he should've desired and not something he was told he should do.

He will ask someone out, he decides. Someone that wants to walk by his side and hold his hand and talk to him. Someone that wants to kiss him.

Erwin wants to know what it feels like to taste someone else's lips.

Now

Levi eats too little. It's either because there's not enough food and he wants to make sure his friends have enough or because he doesn't need much else. 

Erwin feels a lot better now that there's something other than sewer water in his stomach but he's still sleepy. He can't get any rest now though because they already spent half a day hunting for food and drying their clothes. They need to get into the Survey Corps barracks and steal more gear.

It won't be as easy as stealing it from corpses. It's possible an alarm might go off, informing the whole town about some muggers sneaking around, maybe the whole country.

The last time Erwin planned something risky without sharing it with the group he almost died. If he wants to get out of this place alive, and with Ackerman by his side, then he needs everyone's knowledge and experience.

Levi digs his teeth into an apple and slurps without letting anything go to waste. He didn't have any of the hares. He said the fruit would suffice but Erwin would like to make sure everyone is well-fed before moving out since there's no way to know when they will be able to rest again.

When Levi looks right back at him, Erwin looks away.

“We need to move,” Erwin says, standing up. “Destroy the campfire and leave no trace of our doings. Then look for a Survey Corps headquarters and get what we need.”

Levi and his friends look at each other before looking back at Erwin.

“Maybe drowning made you even more stupid,” Levi deadpans.

“The Corps live next to the walls,” Isabel explains. “The… other, other, walls.”

“The Military Police, then,” Erwin offers but Farlan sighs deeply.

“The MPs bake each other cookies in there,” Levi says, pointing at Wall Sina. “We can’t leave this place with roses on our backs.”

Levi doesn’t seem taken aback by Erwin’s ignorance. He doesn’t look worried for his life, nor does he doesn’t even look torn after everything they went through. He’s standing with a hand on his waist, impassive. 

“Yeah, it’d be suspicious as fuck,” Isabel agrees.

“I’m not getting into a crate again,” Wald spits out.

Erwin looks at Mike and then at Levi. “Where does the Garrison reside then?”

“They don't use manoeuvring gear, they barely know how to. They are full of rust, and probably don't work at all,” Farlan tells him.

"They don’t use them, no… I bet their barracks are full of gas containers,” Levi concedes, getting Erwin’s attention. “So what’s your plan, blondie? Climb the walls until we're out of here?”

Erwin doesn't answer. That's exactly his plan. The walls are too extensive to be guarded all the time and there's always a blind spot at night.

Before he knows it, he’s knocked down to the ground and Levi’s on top of him. A knife pressed right at his jugular and a knee into his stomach. Maybe Mike was too slow too because even though he’s threatening Levi’s neck with a blade, Farlan is threatening him back.

“Mike, at ease,” Erwin orders.

“Erwin.”

“At ease,” he repeats and Mike steps back.

Farlan might've not expected this but he doesn't put his blade down anyway. “Tell him to let go of her!” he exclaims. 

Erwin imagines Wald’s got the girl but they are out of sight. All he can see is that Farlan stole that grip and blade from Mike’s gear. He’s not sure where Levi got his knife from though.

“Do as he says,” Erwin orders, staring back into Levi’s eyes. 

Levi’s clenching his teeth, his little nostrils flaring. Erwin can feel the tip of the knife digging into his skin; this is probably the first time someone ever makes direct harm to him. It’d be fair, he thinks, if the boy who just saved his life decided to change his mind now and take it away.

“I get it, Levi,” Erwin says, staring into his eyes. “I invaded your home and ripped you out.” 

“You want to die so bad, die,” Levi threatens.

“If you make it out of here alive, then I've done my duty,” Erwin explains. 

“Don’t try to make me feel special,” he hisses.

“You’re not. We’re not. Not for them,” Erwin tells him. “Not for the ones that leave us rotting under the ground and rather feed their dogs than starving children.”

Levi’s scowl only deepens but his knife is not going any deeper.

“But what would become of us if we don't fight? They see us bleeding and gloat on it,” Erwin says. “What if you could make them bleed instead?”

Levi changes hands, now sitting on Erwin’s stomach and holding his neck, the knife threatening to dig into Erwin’s eye. “Do you even know how many people climbed the walls and died trying?”

“How did they die?” Erwin asks and Levi squints. “Did they fall? Or were they killed?” 

Erwin’s read all about this in old newspapers and little pieces of clandestine press. They are either imprisoned or disappear from the face of the earth. There’s no real evidence of what has been of those who tried to look outside the walls other than the testimony of people that saw them. 

“They don’t want you to leave for their own safety. ”

“What is he talking about?” Farlan asks.

Levi looks confused but he hasn’t broken Erwin's sight for a second. He wants to believe Erwin so badly, almost as if he’s known the truth for too long and can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

“I know it’s hard to believe and hard to understand but I am not lying when I tell you there’s more to this world than you can imagine,” Erwin says. “And I can show you.”

Eight months ago

After spending a month in HQ, training has come to an end and the soldiers get to spend some time at home with their families. It's been tiring as always, even during their best days, and even though Erwin will miss listening in on every meeting and learning from his generals, he misses the comfort of his own bed a whole lot more.

Zeke lights a cigarette and passes it over before lighting one for himself. Erwin doesn't buy cigarettes, he likes them but he prefers to use his money on ink cartridges for his fountain pen or warmer socks. Besides, Zeke's not stingy when it comes to sharing; if anything, he likes some company while he smokes.

Their walk home from HQ might be the only time they are sure no one can overhear them, and even then they try to be careful. During the afternoon, every shop is open; the streets are overflowing with people that otherwise are glaring down at them so they steer clear of that. 

The empty parallel streets are their best allies. They are quiet and sunny, and the soldiers on duty take their lunch breaks elsewhere so the area is empty. Erwin and Zeke usually take a bit longer to shower and dress before going back to the internment zone just to make good use of these little moments of peace.

“You’re a greedy guy, Erwin,” Zeke tells him, his boots clacking over the cobblestone streets. He always wears clothes a size bigger so his jacket falls a bit down his shoulders, and once he’s out of HQ, he also loosens a few buttons. He’s letting his beard grow but it looks very bad; messy blonde hairs fall over his upper lip, chin and neck. 

“I’m not. That’s why we can't put all our chips on the table,” Erwin says, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Going for the Founder is risky enough. And you want to face devils without inheriting a titan yourself.”

“I'm still a Warrior.”

Zeke rolls his eyes, huffing smoke through his nose. “We’re fucked if we lose you.”

“You’re going to miss me is what you are trying to say.”

“You suck at throwing a ball, so no. But I wanted to beat you in a fair fight to get the Beast. Now you’re just forfeiting.”

“I’m not proud enough to stay because of that.” The cigarette goes to Erwin’s head quickly, making him dizzy; he likes that. His father has told him he’s too young to smoke but everyone in the military does it so he’s always accepted. He would’ve missed out on several conversations if he hadn't been invited for a cigarette. Even Magath enjoys having him around a little longer in his office, after the meetings are over, while they smoke and talk about mundane things.

“But you’re thirsty to prove everyone wrong. To live your little Ackerman dream once and for all,” Zeke argues.

“They don’t risk anything by losing me and they win a lot if I can get a clan as powerful as them.”

“We need your smarts here,” Zeke says, dropping his cigarette and staring at it as they walk away, looking behind them without being too obvious.

“I need to be there to find these people. They are needles hiding in a haystack.”

“I just don't understand why you didn't mention any of this.”

“I couldn't. I needed to catch you off guard and avoid having the generals think we talk about…” he trails off, there's no need to end the sentence.

“The kids will inherit their titans in less than a year,” Zeke says. “So will I if you step aside.”

“I will make it here before the kids travel, I will.”

“But what if you need their distraction to get in and out? Why not wait for them?”

“This will win us more than just time, Zeke.”

“You’re so sure these guys will root for us,” he mutters.

Erwin stops in his tracks to throw his cigarette on the floor, he stares right at Zeke as he steps on it, putting it out. “We have a duty.”

“Mhm, for our motherland,” Zeke says, taking another cigarette out from the packet in his pocket.

Now

Isabel claims to have small hands and magical powers; she's stolen three satchels from three different villages, trying to call as little attention to criminal activity as possible. 

Farlan managed to learn a bit about the guards that keep the gates safe and the times their shifts change so they can move in little groups without calling as much attention. It's apparently easier getting out than getting in. Many farmers and merchants go back home after selling their goods and the roads get crowded.

Levi and Mike made some reconnaissance of the Garrison barracks. According to Levi, they are lazy drunks that do nothing all day but they are never in the barracks either. It will be better to steal from them since they never make use of their gas and gear. The Survey Corps actually venture outside and Levi's heard they barely have the necessary funding to live properly so he doesn't want to mess with them.

Wald was in charge of collecting more apples from nearby trees; he wasn’t excited about it. 

Erwin wandered the markets while listening to a man preach about the Church of the Walls. The man was standing on a little stage surrounded by flowers and white and golden drapes. 

After hearing Isabel talking about Wallists so many times, Erwin decided to finally listen in. He's read about the politics, history and society within the walls but he always ignored religion. He's never been interested in religion, his father never talked about any of that and so Erwin's never found interest in it, not at home, not in here. He never thought of the importance of reading about it within the walls so encountering this preacher seemed like a great opportunity.

The walls are sacred, he learned, and so by consequence, they are untouchable. Wallists have taken the responsibility to protect the walls from the touch of man, forbidding the military from placing any type of artillery on top of them, even if their purpose is to protect the citizens within them. They believe the walls were a gift to protect humanity from the Titans, a gift from God . But Erwin would like to know which god is that.

They don't worship the same god as the rest of the world because they don't know the rest of the world exists. There's no mention of Jesus Christ or the Ten Commandments, no virgin Mary. They worship the Walls alone.

It's not a brain teaser. Erwin knows where all of this comes from. King Fritz's threat was clear. Erwin knows it by heart: Helos, the Marleyan hero, forced the King's retreat to Paradis and enclosed himself and his people inside the walls. If anyone dared to attack his island he would unleash the power of tens of millions of titans to crush the world.

Erwin is sure there must be something else to these walls. He is not a believer himself because he can always see the message behind the duties and sins; the real reason they exist; the way they keep people under control through them. If the people of Paradis consider the walls sacred then they would never dare to cross them or worse, destroy them.

So far, Erwin has learned the secrets within the three Walls; now he wants to know what's hiding inside them.

“Nice haul, Iz!” Farlan exclaims. 

“Thanks, bro,” she answers smugly, biting down on her apple.

They are getting ready to leave and Erwin is going to let Farlan handle this one. If everything goes well, they should be ready to walk through the gates and across Trost, then out of Wall Rose.

There are high chances that these three use the opportunity to get lost amongst the people but they are smart to know they have nowhere else to go. They have no other life to live; they only have the dreams Erwin has promised, and he hopes those are enough.

Levi's packing the gear, tying them up and covering them in linens, he tells Mike how to put them together to avoid calling too much attention to themselves. They are pretending to move goods around but if a guard asks them to show what they are carrying there won't be any way around it.

Wald is sitting down, frowning with his arms crossed, almost pouting. Erwin once thought he'd be a good soldier but his future lies in office work. He can't deal with the pressure of the battlefield.

Erwin would like to give him less thought but he's always like a big boulder in the way of each one of his ideas. Always hoping to get away with doing as little as possible, always avoiding work. 

“How's that stomach?” Isabel asks Erwin, sitting by his side and interrupting his train of thought. “Have you been puking some more?”

They avoided putting up another fire but this is the last opportunity to rest before crossing and they won't stop walking for hours once they make it to the other side. They need to get in and out of Trost in one try.

“I haven't,” Erwin answers, keeping his eyes on the book he's holding.

“Have you been eating?”

“Yes, I have.”

“How are ya feeling?”

“I'm good.”

“Why do you read so much?”

“I enjoy it.” He wasn’t particularly reading right now but having a book close by helps him feel at ease. These Eldian symbols are a bit more complex than the ones he's used to so he wants to memorise some of them better, even if he won’t be reading this ever again.

“You're so polite,” she says. “Did you go to school?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Did they teach you there?”

“Yes.”

“Can you write too?”

Erwin smiles softly, his eyes on the words he's not reading. “Yes, I can.”

“How can you do all that?”

“Everyone can,” he answers, looking at her.

“Nah, it looks too hard. I'm not even trying that shit,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“I can assure you it's not.”

Erwin closes the book and points at the cover. “This one's easy,” he says, placing a finger right under one of the words of the title. “It means tree.”

“Tree? Like tree, tree?”

“Yes, a tree. Like the apple tree we've harvested.”

She tilts her head.

“Every time you write these symbols down, you will be writing the word.”

“Tree,” she says slowly, tracing the word with the pad of her finger. “And what's this word?”

“Magic.”

“Magic tree?” She asks and Erwin nods. “Isn't that a kid's book?”

“Yes,” he answers, huffing. “Do you know it?”

“Yeah! Levi always sings it to me.”

“Levi sings?” he asks, feeling his smile growing wider but he avoids looking in his direction.

“Yeah, when I can't sleep. He sings the story of the magic tree. It grows larger when you hug it and-”

“It grows pears if you stand by him,” he says alongside her.

“Yeah! I love it. I know it ain't real. Trees need water and shit and magic doesn't exist.”

“You're very smart yourself,” Erwin says and she visibly blushes, pressing her face against her shoulder.

“Everyone knows that!”

“Wald wouldn't know to water a tree if his life depended on it,” he says in a low voice, making her laugh loudly. He looks around only to find Levi frowning at him so he looks back into his book.

“So Levi sings?” He asks.

“Yeah, he ain't as mean as he looks… and he hasn't mentioned killing you at all today. So…  I think he trusts you at least a little bit now.”

“Good to know,” he says, thinking that it might just work. That they might leave this country with him after all. And having someone as strong as Levi will secure them a safe way back to the port. “I'll help you read this if you'd like. And you can sing it to him next time.”

“Nah,” she croaks, getting up. “I got a nasty ass voice, I already know I'll suck. But thanks, blondie!” She grins and waves before walking away.

Erwin notices how Levi grabs her arms and walks with her away from the group only a few minutes later, visibly scolding her for what Erwin can only assume is getting too close to him.

The sun is long gone behind the walls but there's still daylight. Erwin will not miss that. He likes walking by the parks after training and watching the sunset on his way home, even though he couldn't sit there and enjoy it for much longer before curfew began.

What he’ll miss are the trees, bigger and thicker than any other he’s seen back home. The fresh air as well. The spacious lands. The taste of good sweet, ripe apples. 

And he will hate getting back to the sound-polluted, confining cage that Marley is. 

Erwin leaves his book behind and walks to Mike who's going to carry most of the ODM gear parts, while Levi will carry the heaviest, apparently. They will try to avoid looking like a big group and if they have to drop everything and make a run for it, they will. 

Mike seems confident about this. He tells Erwin his ideas usually work out, even if they are dangerous, like travelling to an unknown island to learn a new culture, and language, and befriending criminals. Or stealing the officer’s cheap whiskey bottle because he never drinks from it and replacing it with apple juice from the diner. The mere memory of it brings a smile to Erwin’s lips; that was his worst hangover. He might have gotten as sick as he did after swallowing the drainage water. 

After getting ready, they are off. Erwin puts three groups together: Mike will walk next to Farlan, Wald next to Levi, and he will go with Isabel. He thinks that by holding their most precious possession they might avoid doing something stupid. He wants to trust she won't stab him in the guts and leave him behind, even if Levi wouldn't have a problem breaking Wald’s neck and throwing him to the side. Maybe Farlan could stand a chance against Mike too, no matter the size difference.

When they make it to the gates there’s a long line of people walking through. Families with kids, merchants with carriages, even soldiers that seem to be off shift since they are only wearing some parts of their uniforms. 

They are so far away from each other that Erwin can’t see Mike or Wald from where he’s at but he holds Isabel's hand and stands behind a woman carrying a baby on one arm and a bag on the other. He could pass as her son, he thinks, and avoid people looking at his face too much. If they manage to sneak out without calling attention to themselves they will be able to catch a nap before leaving and wandering the woods around Wall Maria to determine their chances. Being wanted men might endanger that. 

The line moves slowly; people look tired and worn out. He and Isabel walk quietly and without looking anywhere else but right down at the floor just like the people around him that are tired from working all day. Erwin tries to mimic that even if he's feeling itchy, he would like to look at the carriages and their goods, at the horses and their riders. When they are closer to the gates, he abstains from looking up, he's so curious to look at the arches and the heavy steel doors again. He did that when he crossed by boat and learned that the rivers flow outwards and that Mitras is set in higher ground, making it even safer. 

Isabel does look up when they cross under the gates, eyes wide and mouth agape. She's marvelled by the big chains that are rolled at one side and the spiderwebs above them. He can't blame her, he has marvelled too. He loves big constructions and he cannot wrap his mind around how these gigantic walls were built and what secrets lie inside them. And then she squints when the evening light hits her face, making her smile. She's probably never been over this side. 

Trost District expands in front of them and it's a whole city. The buildings are tall and very close together and everyone is strolling the streets. The merchants take an immediate right to walk through another passage but Erwin can't follow them because Isabel is pulling from his arm.

“Don't go that way!”

“What? Why not?” he asks but immediately understands. 

There's a big fair with balloons and multi-coloured banners with little triangular flags right in front of them.

“Isabel, no. We need to stay away from the centre.”

“Come on, blondie!” she exclaims and gets loose, running away from him.

Erwin looks around but he can't see Mike or Wald anywhere so he walks forward, trying to follow Isabel's steps. She's going crazy, walking in front of every little shop, pointing at the trinkets and toys and asking questions to each and every one of the merchants she encounters. She jumps from one place to another and Erwin notices she grabs something for herself at one point before running away.

“Damn it,” he mutters and goes after her. But the market gets crowded the more he walks into it and he loses her sight.

They knew about this, he realises. They knew this is what Trost was like all along and Erwin fell for it. The prospect of Wald being stabbed and dropped into a gutter becomes more of a possibility than ever. Erwin looks around but he can't see anything other than strangers gathering in big groups trying to shop for little things. The bustle is numbing.

This is not the Underground though. If someone is killed in plain daylight it would attract attention; ladies would scream and kids would cry. 

He keeps walking and considers screaming her name because she's so small and thin that she could be hiding anywhere, but if she doesn't want to be found then all she has to do is remain quiet, walk away and hide, find Levi in a narrow alley and escape.

“Come on, grampa!” Isabel exclaims, suddenly pulling his arm again. “Stop walking so slow!”

“Iz, where were you!” he asks in a low voice.

“I was right here! They're by the next gate, come on. We're standing behind!”

Erwin trots behind her and breathes in fresh air when they move away from the crowd and he can see Mike's head walking towards the exit gate.

At least now he can allow himself to look around at ease, sure that this group is still working together. He's still afraid that this whole plan will go sideways. There's too much at stake but if there's something he's confident about, it's that the boy up ahead is everything he's been looking for.

They make it to the gates and Erwin is relieved yet again. They are leaving Trost finally and heading through the fields for Wall Maria. He spots some guards with horses behind their backs but they are only looking outward, making sure no one sneaks in, just walking out.

Fresh air hits his face like freedom, and the outer wall doesn't look so big from here. They will have to walk far longer this time, and hopefully, they have enough food to make it there before they run out. Their best chance is to move east to cross the wall, that way they can go around the titans that gather by the outer city of Shiganshina. Besides, taking any other route would mean missing the chance of recovering their clothing stash. Erwin doesn't think he stands much of a chance by the port if he doesn't show up with his uniform and armband.

“Holy shit!” Isabel says, pulling from his arm. “This is wonderful. I thought poor people live up here? They live like kings!” she exclaims.

Erwin couldn't agree more. He doesn't think there’s anything more beautiful than the expanse of nature before him. Though considering the horrifying dangers lying on the other side and what it means to be so exposed to them surely makes life not quite safe. Isabel is not aware of any of that.

There are still a lot of merchants walking this line and heading elsewhere. Levi’s right up ahead, Erwin can tell it's Ackerman because the bag he’s carrying is bigger than him but it looks as though it weighs nothing. 

There’s a nearby village next to the gates half the size of Trost or even less, though it spreads right next to the wall instead of in a concentric circle. They walk past it, following Levi to the nearest trees to drop their bags and catch a break. 

Erwin takes out his flask to drink some water and passes it on to Mike. He’s frowning and Erwin knows him well enough to know he’s tired and cranky but mostly annoyed. Wald must’ve done something.

Isabel skips around, showing Levi and Farlan the trinkets she’s stolen from the fair, and apparently, she’s not the only one. Farlan has gotten himself a fresh piece of bread which he’s sharing with his friends and Erwin is sure he didn't have any rings on before. Levi’s holding a tin can in his hands and smelling it, delighted with it; he’s snatched fresh tea leaves.

There’s no use for any of those things, maybe the bread but it’s not enough for everyone. The idea of stealing nonsensical stuff doesn’t resonate with Erwin, he doesn't see the point. He would’ve preferred they kept their hands to themselves since now they are at risk of soldiers looking for a group of people that decided to steal from the Trost’s fair. 

“We will get some meals from one of the inns in that village,” Erwin says. “And get some rest before walking closer to the walls.”

“We need to head East,” Mike points out.

“Yes, it will be a long walk.”

“What’s East?” Farlan asks.

“Our stuff,” Wald offers, confusing them further.

“Titans gather around the Shiganshina District. If we intend to leave this place, we need to surround them,” Erwin explains.

“Is it true they follow big crowds?” Isabel asks.

“Yeah,” Mike answers. “So unless they spread out for some reason, and as long as they don’t spot us, we should be able to outsmart them.”

“What are titans like?” she asks, walking closer to Mike with a piece of bread in her mouth and dropping on the floor.

Mike looks at Erwin who nods.

“Just… big, awful…”

“Naked people,” Wald asserts.

“What? They are people?”

“They are not people,” Erwin lies. “They are what could be called humanoids.”

“The fuck is that?”

“They resemble people while they aren’t.” 

If Marleyans atrocity were even slightly explained to these three Erwin wouldn't stand a chance of taking them out of here.

“Is it true they eat people?”

Erwin and Mike both nod.

“Why?”

“There’s not much progress in the study of titans, we don’t know much more than you do,” Erwin half lies. 

It’s all theories for them too. All he knows is that pure titans are just a sick, perverted idea that Marley discovered as a way to keep Eldians on their feet. To keep them cornered here on this island and to keep them caged back there in the place he calls home. So in his line of thought, titans eat people out of instinct, most likely; the need to pass on their abilities to each other.

“Is it true they are giants?”

“Yes,” he answers, loving her curiosity. He also notices how the other two listen just as much even if they remain silent, still like kittens afraid to ask for more food. “Some are five times the size of a normal person.”

“How are we supposed to outrun that?”

“Hopefully, we won't have to.”

“Are all your plans based on hope?” Levi asks in a voice that Erwin thinks he would’ve missed hadn’t he been paying special attention to him. 

“I trust our skills and intelligence, your swift fighting and quick decision-making,” Erwin says, looking directly at him.

Levi clicks his tongue, looking away. “You want to risk our lives yet again, and you expect me to save your asses.”

“Yes,” Erwin asserts and Levi looks back at him, lips twitching.

“Come on, bro!” Isabel says, standing up and walking towards him. “Don’t you want to leave this fucking place?”

“There’s no proof that we will even do that,” Farlan tells her.

“We will,” Erwin says, standing up too. “We crossed those walls to get in, and we will cross them to get out.”

“He’s a fucking madman,” Wald says all of a sudden. Erwin had barely heard him talk during the whole day. “But I'm getting the fuck out of this country with or without you little brats. And if I have to slit your fucking throats and tie your little ass and carry you with me, I will,” he threats, pointing a finger at Levi.

In only a fraction of a second, his finger is broken and Wald is on the floor, sobbing and cursing. 

“What the fuck! You fucking beast!” he exclaims.

“You don’t touch them, or I’ll break your neck next,” Levi tells him, impassive. 

Mike walks to Wald, offering help but he rejects it, spewing more insults instead. Mike insists still, and holds Wald’s finger to put it back in place, only to be kicked in the stomach and pushed away.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Wald snarls, walking away with his hand tucked against his chest.

“Thank you, Mike,” Erwin tells him, getting up.

“I can’t wait to get this fucking over with,” Mike breathes out, walking back to his seat.

Erwin stands there, staring at the three criminals he hopes are his allies in spite of the small chance there is of that. 

Chapter Text

Five years ago 

“The king kept a magic tree inside the secret garden of his castle,” Erwin reads out loud.

He loves this story and knows it by heart and he's cheating in a way. He should be reading something challenging to practice the s sound, but he enjoys the fluidity with which he can flow over these sentences so he tries to get away with it.

Every night before going to sleep, Erwin and his father sit by the bed with a book. They aren't usually allowed to have a wide variety, but they mostly keep kids' books, physics books and some historical ones too.

“The magic tree grows tall and strong when the king hugs it.” He looks at his father to make sure he's listening to how well he read that one but he doesn't seem to be paying attention.

Sometimes he's worried about his friends, others he's worried about work. He's a teacher at the only primary school in their internment zone and that's mostly why he's allowed to keep so many books to begin with. 

He teaches about Ymir, the Eldian crimes and the Marleyan hero who put an end to the war. He also teaches basic maths and plays the flute for his students during playtime.

“Dad? How did I do?” Erwin asks before continuing.

“I think you know how you did,” he answers. “You've read that book enough, don't you think?”

“I like how the words flow,” he retorts.

“So I've noticed. Don't you think you're up to something more challenging?”

“I like this story!”

“What do you like about it?”

“I like that—” Erwin clears his throat and sits straight, remembering how his father appreciates well-put-together sentences. “The king's lack of selfishness is what I enjoy the most. Even if he could let the pears rot and keep the secret of the magic tree to himself, he decides to share it with the queen and by extension, his children. Only to share it with the town folk later on.”

“Do you think everyone should share their belongings with each other?”

“Yes, I do,” he says with no hesitation. “Especially when you have so much of it.”

“And what if you don't?” his father asks.

Erwin wants to say that it doesn’t change anything but he’s afraid that might not be the right answer.

“What if you are at war… and you need the food to survive in the incoming years; therefore, sharing it would mean it will not last long?”

Erwin frowns.

“What if the one you have to share it with is your own enemy?”

This whole hypothetical scenario seems too surreal, but his father likes doing that. He likes leaving Erwin speechless and he thinks it's on purpose; he thinks that when his father is doing that it is only because Erwin’s become too smug. He’s chosen an easy book for his night read just to show off and now it's biting him in the rear. 

“Sometimes the answer is not that simple,” his father tells him. “There are times to be prodigal and times to be strategic—”

Erwin raises his hand.

“Yes?”

“What does prodigal mean?”

“Exactly what you were planning to do with your goods, giving them away, using them all without a care in the world, just as if they would grow on a magic tree,” he explains and Erwin nods. “Sometimes, Erwin, you have to keep what you have to yourself. Sometimes, having too much of something is a curse. Knowing too much could be dangerous. Your generals don’t feed you just because they have enough food. They don’t tell you everything they know either. You know why that is?”

“I am only a trainee,” Erwin says. He’s only turned twelve now and has been serving Marley for a year, he would never expect to hold any other rights.

“You’re an Eldian, Erwin. They will never tell you anything and they will expect you to say everything to them. Why do you think that is?”

“Because knowledge is important and having too much could be dangerous,” Erwin answers and he understands this is not about telling his generals everything he knows but rather about keeping it to himself.

“Now, I would love to live in a country where the common folk have equal rights, equal access to food and education as much as the rich folk. But as Eldians, we don’t hold those benefits.” 

Erwin nods. His father has suggested that he should never speak his mind about the military out loud, not even at home, not even when his father's doing it, so Erwin refrains from it. But once again, just as every time his father gets too serious during reading hours at night, the one single expression he once taught him comes back to him.

“They keep their cards close to his chest,” Erwin says and finally, his father smiles.

“That’s right, little bean,” he answers. “Your generals will like it if you keep quiet, do as they say and never question them. Do that, and eventually, the cards in their hand will become apparent.”

Erwin remains idle, tracing the book pages in his hand with a finger, feeling the rugged texture of the paper and digesting everything he’s heard. His father also keeps his cards close to his chest and Erwin has learned to read through lines, even though he’s still confused about the inconsistencies of his words.

“There’s something I think you might enjoy reading,” his father says, getting up. “Something to keep close to your chest,” he adds.

He walks out of the room and gets back a while later with a couple of books under his arm. Two of them have black hard covers while the other one is green. Erwin extends his arms to hold them before his father sits back down.

“Principles of Ackerman Biology,” Erwin reads out loud, moving the green book away to read the cover of the other two. “Ackerman History by Mariko Tybur. Ackerman: Tales and Myths.” 

Erwin looks at his father, who looks expectant. “Is this… my new assignment?”

“Yes,” his father says. “I want you to read these… to yourself, not out loud, and we'll discuss them. I want to hear your opinion.”

“But these are… tales,” Erwin says. “And myths? Just one biology book?” 

This is very unusual behaviour for his father. He’s into proof and facts, he doesn’t read about things that have not been scientifically proven. He has already told Erwin he was old enough to leave silly tales about magic trees and girls lost in the woods behind.

“Precisely. The Ackermans exist since the beginning of titans but little is known about them. Scientists have studied old Eldian manuscripts and bones and have learned a little about them but have been able to identify their titan biology,” he explains. “The Tyburs, on their part, have shared their knowledge about them and it's… well, it's surreal. Everything about them is.”

“Are they titans then?”

“No… or maybe they are. That's what I want you to assess. You might still be young for some terminology but we can study these at night together whenever you need help. With time,” he says, “you might also understand the political importance of this and use it to your favour. But I'm rambling.” He breathes out, palming Erwin's leg. “Now get ready for bed, and keep this Ackerman study for you, alright?”

Now

It's dark and quiet enough that all Erwin can hear is the tinkling of their gear. This is the most deserted part of the wall they could find; the Garrison soldiers are drunk and playing cards and the top sentinels are doing their rounds. They don't have much time before the sentinels come back around and there's little margin for mistakes.

They walked for a whole day almost nonstop and Erwin figures the excitement of finally getting out is the only reason why he hasn't slept or doesn't feel tired at all. He's sure the only ones who really had any rest were Isabel and Wald. Erwin always made sure either he or Mike were awake to keep watch, for either a soldier spotting them or Levi trying to slit their throats.

People are not allowed close to the walls and there are no villages nearby. The closest castle is five kilometres away, which is where the rest of the group managed to sleep for a while. After that, they had to wait for the sun to go down before moving to the closest woods.

Erwin's growing tired of losing time, but if there's one thing he's learned from his father it's that being patient has its rewards, so if the sun rises by the time they are on the other side, they will just have to wait it out. It's better to hide on top of a tree and lay low than risk a titan encounter in plain daylight when they are the fastest.

Wall Maria extends in front of them and it's hard to say where it ends from down here. Erwin can't tell if those are bricks placed one by one or an exterior coating that protects the internal construction.

Without saying a word, Mike follows his orders and grapples up first, followed by Isabel. Farlan goes third, he's as fast and comfortable with the gear as she is and Erwin observes them, trying to grasp the secrets to flying. They were the ones that came up with the idea of how to go about it, where to shoot and how to swing to get momentum and grapple farther up. 

Wald is next, he doesn't hesitate this time like he did back in the water tunnels, and it's probably because he finally has the confidence to move and the prospect of being on their way towards home filled him with courage.

“What's on the other side?” Levi asks, looking up.

There's something eerie about being alone with him. Erwin can feel the expanse of nothingness behind him and above him. Every second with Levi is a potential threat to Erwin's life and it only makes it more thrilling to be alive.

“It will not be much different than here; there's just as much grass and trees,” he says. “And beyond it's the sea.”

Levi stares at him, frowning. “I mean for us. You said we'd be free.”

“There's no need for cuffs on the other side, nor back home. No need for a life of crime.”

It's a half lie, just like every other one of his promises and Levi might be on to him, but maybe living a life of nothing in the dirt means taking some risks for a frail dream.

“Get a good hold of your piston when you're reeling,” Levi suggests, looking down at Erwin's gear. “And hoist your knees up. Helps the balance.”

Less mass, more acceleration. Erwin nods and watches as Levi flies up, following his own example.

It does work; Erwin grips the pistons and lets himself be reeled up by reducing the space his body occupies in the air. He's tempted to use the gas propellers but none of the others did it, and he's already learnt the importance of saving gas. 

The way up is frightening and every time he swings to grapple another hook his stomach lurches. He can barely see Levi moving above like a stray cat jumping through an alley with a piece of stolen fish between his teeth.

Erwin couldn't move that swiftly even if he wanted to, he wonders if he'll even make it to the top or if he'll miss his next hook and hit his head against the concrete. Maybe they'll move on and leave his corpse hanging in there, though it'd be best if he were to fall to his death; at least security might think he was the only one trying to escape and wouldn't send anyone looking for the rest.

He's surprised by how much arm and shoulder strength he's putting into it. He won't be able to hold on much longer and he can't tell how far he needs to go. Would Levi come to his aid again? Would he dive down and catch him mid-air before spreading his wings?

Levi's no longer in sight and it hopefully means he made it to the top, giving Erwin hope that he will make it too. He swings one more time before shooting his grapple and holds his breath, struggling to keep his knees up.

He gauges the edge of the wall and shoots one last grapple, groaning to make it there with the last of his strength and finally reaches the top. He puts his feet down, landing without tumbling for the first time since he ever attempted using this gear; he lets a smile grow on his face until Levi's scowl wipes it away. 

From up there, everything looks so different. He looks behind, but Paradis is engulfed in darkness already. In front of him, by the horizon, the sun is finally disappearing. Furlan and Isabel are hugging by the opposite side of the wall and it’s not as wide as Erwin might’ve thought. He walks a few steps in, staring at the floor and wondering what’s below him. He wants to know if it's hollow and what it hides inside if anything. He would also like to rip a piece of it out and take it with him, not necessarily to have it examined so much as he would like to keep it in his bedroom with other things he is taking with him from this place, like the little bronze cent with walls engraved on it.

“Is that another city?” Isabel asks Mike, pointing at the horizon and how the clouds are painted orange.

“No, that’s the sky,” he says.

“Why is it like that?”

“I… don’t know, that’s how it always looks when the sun sets,” he answers.

“Where are the other cities?”

“Fucking far,” he breathes out. 

“How far?”

“Two weeks at least.”

“Two weeks?” Furlan asks. “We can’t walk for two whole weeks, are you nuts?”

“We’re taking a ship.”

“Yes,” Erwin says, stepping in. “And we better get going.” 

He doesn't want the conversation about the port or the boat to rise yet. Everything has been carefully paced so far and it has worked. They cannot lay all of the information on their heads, mainly because they will not understand but also because it would mean he will have to make up more lies on the go; Erwin prefers to do that only when necessary.  

Wald is already grappling down the other side before anyone else, completely destroying their formation. He should be making sure Farlan goes down before him. Erwin also wants Levi between them and Mike going first. But this is no time to struggle with orders. 

Grappling down isn't as hard, even if it still takes a lot of skill to keep balance. He watches everyone go first but Levi waits for him. Maybe he is testing whether Erwin learned how to use the gear; he hopes Levi has noticed his improvement somehow. He shouldn't care about Levi's opinion, Erwin rarely cares about what others think of him. But this specimen is a good fighter and a rarity, and somehow he's everything Erwin's read about Ackermans in his short life and he feels vulnerable under his judgement. 

Something inside of him wants to teach Levi how they fight in Marley too. Erwin wants to see what he could do with everything he's been missing out on. He wants to see all of Levi's potential in good use. He'd probably be an amazing marksman, perceptive and accurate. Or maybe he will just excel in one-to-one combat fighting, perfect for infiltration missions.

“Holy fucking shit!” Isabel exclaims loudly and Farlan shushes her.

“It's ok,” Erwin says. “No one should be able to hear us from this side. But we're not out of the woods yet.”

“What the fuck are you talking about! The forest is literally right there,” Isabel points out.

“I mean… we need to get going… that way.”

It took Erwin, Mike and Wald four days to make it to the walls when they arrived in the country a few months ago. He figures it might take them at least one extra day this time, considering they have been on the move nonstop since they escaped the Underground. But they need to run away from the danger zone to at least be safe from the titans in the daylight. 

“Let’s go!” Erwin exclaims. “We need to get as far as possible before the sun comes out!”

They run to the forests right in front of them, and he knows that when it ends, they need to go west. The tree where they hid their guns and uniforms should not be that far. Erwin tries to read the skies, but they don't say much. He finds the half moon, telling him he still has eight days until a ship makes it to the shore. He wonders if the Andromeda constellation is still visible, considering it's November. Behind him, Levi's looking at him, mouth agape as he pants from running.

When they are close enough to the forest, Erwin’s startled by a swish at his side and only seconds later he realizes it’s Levi flying past. He has grappled to one of the trees and is pulling himself in, almost sliding across the ground. 

“Woohoo! ” Behind him goes Isabel, only followed by Farlan seconds after.

A spontaneous smile rises up in Erwin, he feels his chest tingling as he holds on to his pistons and shoots a grapple himself, reeling into the trees and following their path. With them leading the way, Erwin can understand their movements. He can see them compacting their bodies to fly faster and so he’s reminded to do it again. This adrenaline reminds him of their firearm training in the fields, only this is fun. Even if they are doing this to save their lives, it feels different; the devils make it seem different. Erwin wonders if Levi is doing this for fun just as much as his friends.

Grappling from tree to tree is no easy task, there’s always the crippling fear that he might hit his face against one and break every bone in his back as well. He doesn't dare to slide across the floor the way Levi does because he doesn't think he could make it. Wald flies right past him, having gotten the hang of it quicker than anyone. By his side though, he’s glad to find Mike doing just as well as everyone with a smirk on his face. Maybe it’s fine that Erwin is enjoying this after all.

They make it out of the forest and into another clearing faster than he could’ve ever imagined. And even if he hasn't been running, Erwin feels exhausted. He notices everyone around is panting and leaning on their knees except for Levi, who’s just looking around and up at the night sky. 

His endurance is magnificent and Erwin can't help but feel convinced more and more that he's not just another Eldian, that he might as well not be completely human. He remembers his father's books about titan biology and the experiments the people of Ymir had developed, the theories and tales that have been passed on from generation to generation.

Even when everyone looks like flying with this gear on, Levi looks as though wings have sprung from his back. He looks light as a feather, but Erwin fought with him up close to know he’s thick and heavy. And especially then, he’s a scary opponent; his hands are like blades and they are as sharp as his tongue.

Levi suddenly looks at him and Erwin has to avert his eyes, embarrassed. He keeps getting caught while staring without even noticing. And what’s worse, he’s afraid it might seem like a judgemental look when it’s so totally the opposite. He’s not sure why he’s so ashamed to be caught. 

He somehow feels that by coming to this island he’s lost everything he built up for himself. He lost his spot for the Beast Titan though that never made him feel anything less; if anything he has always been valuable, which is why he is among the generals for military debriefing. He’s smart, he knows that. And he’s already succeeded in accomplishing his mission; he just needs to get them back home and prove this was not all for nothing.

Wald starts moving out on his own again and Mike looks at Erwin who nods. Trying to put a stop to him at this point is useless and it might result in him throwing a tantrum and running away on his own; Erwin can't allow that because he needs all his men with him and they are in constant danger too, so being too far apart from each other is not safe.

“Let's move,” Erwin orders, trying to keep control of the situation even if Wald's insubordination is evident. “We need to move as much as possible before the sun comes up.”

“Why's that?” Isabel asks, walking quickly next to him.

“Titans move faster during the day.”

“They sleep at night?”

“In a way, yes.”

“What way?”

“They are slower.”

“Damn, I really wanna see one.”

“No, you don't kiddo,” Mike tells her.

“Stop calling me that, I ain't no kid!” she exclaims, frowning and Erwin chuckles. “My name is Iz!”

“Fine, sorry,” he says. “But you don't. Titans are no joke. They are fast motherfuckers and they can crush your big tough adult bones with their bare hands.”

“Hey!” Furlan exclaims. “Chill, man. What the fuck.”

“He's right,” Erwin concedes. “Titans are not an attraction. It's important that you know that,” he explains; he'd like to look around and see if Levi's paying attention but he just keeps walking, keeping his eyes up front, making sure Wald is not moving any faster than them. “You need to take them seriously; they are your enemies. If you see one, you keep quiet and run away from them. You don't stay and stare.”

“Why wouldn't we kill them?” Levi asks.

Erwin doesn't flinch. “Paradis' military goes through months of training before encountering them. We not only lack the experience but also the practice.”

“So your solution is to avoid them? To run from them?”

“It's the safest route.”

“And if one shows up unannounced you expect us to run up a fucking tree?”

Erwin stops in his place and turns around. Levi's right next to him, craning his head to look up at Erwin's eyes. The last time they were this close, he was holding a knife to Erwin's neck.

“We're not risking our lives just to see if we can fight them,” he says sternly.

“What are we going to do if they corner us?” Levi asks and he's not posing hypotheticals to be curious, he's being feisty.

“This is an open field, we can move as far as we need to avoid them,” Erwin retorts, and maybe he shouldn't be getting into this argument but he can't help it, he wants Levi to understand this and be on his side.

“Even if it takes us a fucking eternity to get to our destination?” Levi’s frowning and Erwin can see a drop of sweat going down his temple, the hair sticking to his forehead. “You said it was four days away if we walked west, how far will it be if we keep going south?”

“As much as it needs to be to stay alive,” Erwin says.

“What will we do when we run out of food? Or water? Does water grow in magic trees outside the walls?” 

Erwin can see each one of his little teeth and how his tongue moves as he speaks, how dry his lips are. How grey his eyes are. “Is the fact that our lives are important to me not clear enough?”

“Erwin,” Mike calls, getting his attention.

He knows he’s falling for Levi’s cheekiness and they don’t have time for it, but unlike Wald, he’s got real worries; he’s worried about his peers and not himself.

Erwin looks back at Levi. “If we encounter a loner, small and slow enough, we will determine how to act.”

“You're not from Mitras but you're still some rich, pompous boy,” Levi seethes.

“I do not care what you think of me,” Erwin says and he hates feeling that he’s lying.

Levi knows nothing about him, he doesn’t know the struggles of his life in Marley. And he might not have to endure the harsh living of the Underground but that doesn’t make him rich. Eldians could never be rich unless their ancestors made the right call a hundred years ago as the Tyburs did. 

Calling him pompous is also very uncalled for, Erwin’s only worried about their safety, just as much as Levi is. Levi’s too eager to take action when he doesn’t even know what he’s facing, what titans are really about. This is the first time he’s been outside the walls and the first time he's been out in the open for so long, to begin with. He might be smart, and quick, and strong, but he doesn’t know what he’s dealing with right now.

They pick up the pace again, Wald has gone too far on his own now and they won’t be able to keep up with him unless they run, which is already a bad idea. They are tired and have barely had any rest. The only ones Erwin has seen properly sleeping were Isabel and Wald. Everyone else seemed as though they were resting their eyes but too attentive to every little sound around them to actually be sleeping. 

It won’t be much different out here, they are still in danger and this time it is not from the police but from much bigger, much harder threats. 

Isabel is not asking questions anymore, which makes the walk too boring all of a sudden. They do not have a lot to talk about or a lot to catch up on. These three don't know where they are going as much as Erwin has told them they are leaving the country. There's no way they understand what that means entirely, what it comprises.

And Wald keeps walking his way as if he can do it all by himself. As if getting first to the port will get him home anytime sooner. Showing up alone might prove too dangerous but he’s far into his own head to think about that. 

Six months ago 

“You think this is ok?” Mike asks. He’s climbed up one of the trees in the forest. Is not a particularly distinctive tree but it will help them chart their route the way back.

“No one should be walking here other than us,” Erwin offers. “The titans keep the devils at bay beneath the walls.”

Mike climbs back down and Erwin helps the last steps since there’s nothing to hold on to. They left one of their bags with their uniforms, armbands and firearms. It would be dangerous to infiltrate Paradis with those on and they should try to blend in instead. Regardless, they will need to get them on their way back; no Marleyan in their right mind would let three Eldians with their Ackerman friends, for which they have no proof, hop into their ship. Erwin would like to believe General Gerst will recognise him but even if he didn’t, he could either play the fool or just beat him up for fun before hearing what Erwin has to say.

“This is a shitty idea, Erwin,” Wald tells him. “If these fuckers point their gun at us, how do you expect us to defend ourselves?”

“We cannot show up to their doors with violence. Not only would it call the King’s attention to an imminent attack but it would also leave us exposed. If someone spots us, we raise our hands. But preferably, no one should see us coming. We have to find a way to sneak in, and we can only do that by reaching the East door.”

“We should get there, shoot titans down and get in.”

“Shooting titans down might be the stupidest thing I’ve heard you say,” Mike sneers.

“Fuck off!” Wald exclaims, pushing his chest but Mike holds onto his wrist.

“We’ve been walking nonstop for two fucking days,” he tells Wald. Erwin watches the grip he has on Wald. “We’ll be lucky if we cross those walls alive, could you not try to risk this now?”

“Let go of me,” Walt says, levelling him and Mike obliges. Mike’s the only one who could ever put a stop to Wald’s little tantrums. 

Erwin understands that not sharing a room with them in the headquarters might be the reason he feels so left out in this friendship but was still expecting that as comrades it would work. That the fact that Erwin was appointed the leader of this small mission should be enough.

“We shouldn’t have come to this place,” Wald says, looking straight into Mike’s eyes. “Did you really think this would give us the respect of our generals? They only care for warriors who inherit titans,” he seethes. “Now we’ve lost all of our chances, we’re too old, we’ve wasted it!”

“We weren’t getting any titans, Wald!” Mike tells him and Erwin can see this is not the first time they talk about it. “They are recruiting kids, we were not getting the Beast either. This is all we have. You rather stay back there?”

“Yes!”

“Wald…” Mike trails off, frowning, hesitant. “We have nothing back there.”

“We don’t have much else here,” Wald tells him, walking away.

Mike lets out a deep sigh and only looks at Erwin for a second before getting his backpack from the ground. 

Erwin has nothing to say; he has no words of encouragement because he doesn’t agree with any of them. He knows there’s a lot to look forward to here as much as there is in Marley, especially after they succeed. But then again, they both came here thinking Erwin is on a wild goose chase, following his father’s dreams and nothing else.

Now

The sun will be right above them in a couple of hours but they have made enough progress to stop and rest. Erwin is keeping watch now, he doesn't think he will sleep even when his turn comes anyway. They were able to find the tree with their bags successfully and he wants to make sure none of the Paradisians gets a hold of it. 

They are far away now, though, playing in a small body of water. They are bathing actually but Isabel is always playing, no matter where she’s at. She’s a kid, after all; old enough to inherit a titan herself had she been born in Marley. The other men have stripped down to their underwear and Levi’s muttering words as he lathers their clothes. Erwin would like to tell them to mind the sun, having such delicate pale skin, they are probably not aware of the harm they are exposing themselves to right now, but he wouldn't want to meddle in the only time they had to be by themselves since they escaped the walls. 

They might be plotting something too but there’s not much to do out here. If they are left by themselves against titans their chance of survival is nearly zero. Their gear has already run out of gas after speeding through the forest; the guns are a new technology for them and even if they learn how to use them, they are useless against titans and will run out of bullets just as much. They don't have anywhere else to go and that’s what Erwin’s been counting on since he took them out of the Underground. 

But Levi is too smart and quick to be underestimated. Even now as he seems only interested in taking the sweat out of his shirt, rubbing the fabric furiously between his hands. He might be thinking of a way out of here. 

Erwin’s surprised to see the biceps on his arms and the muscles in his stomach, the way his trapezius sticks out from his back; even his legs look strong. It’s possible that using the ODM gear, as they call it, offers a full-body workout. Erwin ended up exhausted after moving with it and it takes a lot of practice to keep balance. His stomach hurts from keeping the weight of his legs high and his arms from holding the pistons tight to avoid turning on his head.

What surprises Erwin about Levi’s physique is that he would’ve thought that living in those conditions would make it impossible to build muscle; being undernourished, not receiving the necessary vitamins from the sun. Farlan is not as fit as him after all, making it possible that his body is yet another proof of his nature and what his ancestors have decided Ackermans should be like.

Levi looks up from his hands and Erwin’s caught staring once more. This time though, Erwin doesn't look away. He’s supposed to be keeping watch after all so he levels his gaze. 

Levi’s eyes burn; he hates him. Erwin snatched him from his home under ethereal promises; he talked about freedom and showed him the clear skies beyond the wall. Levi doesn't look like a man that will fall for pretty colours and a dream. And there’s a voice in the back of Erwin’s head that knows that upon reaching Marley, Levi and his friends will be seen as dangerous, mistreated and enslaved. He might be able to look up at the sky from the window of his house—if he doesn't end up in a cell—but he will still not be free. His life will not necessarily be better, not in the short term at least.

They start moving while there's still daylight because no one wants to sleep any more; they barely managed to rest, to begin with. Erwin's body hurts all over. He's not sure why anymore. The muscles of his stomach make it hard to sit down or stand up without twitching and his arms feel heavy while his feet sting against the hard edges of his boot every time he takes a step.

There's nothing in front or behind, they've walked far enough that everything seems too far away. Erwin remembers feeling the exact same only half a year ago. When they managed to see the wall, he felt as though he wasn't tired anymore, being motivated to get to destination. He can't wait to devise the ocean on the horizon to get that feeling back.

By night, the chirping of crickets engulfs them among heavy breaths and Erwin misses all of Isabel's questions. He also misses reading but as much as it hurts him, he had to leave every book behind to avoid carrying unnecessary weight; he regrets having so much respect for them that he didn't dare to rip a few pages just to have some words to read.

It's tiring and boring and it feels as though it's not worth it so Erwin has to remember he's going back home just to regain some strength back. They force themselves to walk just a bit further after the sun comes out to make sure to hide under the shade of some trees and fall flat on the ground. No one is hiding how tired they are anymore.

Levi and Farlan whisper some things to each other while Iz sleeps on their laps. Wald tells Mike something about his beard and makes him chuckle.

Erwin has no one to talk to. He might overhear their conversations but he's not invited to join in and so he sits by himself, staring elsewhere. He plucks grass off the ground and twists it in his hand, he watches a trail of ants carrying leaves underground. He'd like to use a knife to carve some words into the bark of a tree just for the sake of writing something. He tries to fall asleep but as much as he closes his eyes, his head keeps running images over and over again. Expectations and fears over dreams and memories.

Before the night takes over, they start moving and encounter a titan only a few kilometres away. Erwin has never seen something like this before. It has grown to over-proportionate sizes; he's stuck to the ground face down, rib cage sticking out of his back but limbs so thin and weak that have rendered it useless. There’s no way to know how it ended here, or how long it has been like that; they are either already closer to the shore than Erwin thought or there’s a whole lot more about titans he doesn’t know. 

Despite its evident inability to move, Erwin suggests steering clear. The titan’s eyes follow them as they walk past it, drool dripping through its lips. This is the first time Levi and his friends see a titan up close and this is not even what a violent titan looks like, this one's no threat from this distance.

“That shit looks useless,” Farlan says.

“I don’t know what the fuck is up with that,” Mike tells him.

“Is that not normal for you guys?”

“Titans run and walk on two feet when… they have normal feet,” Mike explains. “I’ve never seen something so deformed.”

“It looks so ugly, does it also eat people?” Isabel asks.

“Don't try to find out,” Levi tells her.

“It's staring,” she says.

They keep walking without taking their eyes away from it, just as much as its eyes are locked on them. Erwin thinks for a moment that if the creature has enough strength it could get up and chase them. It could do it if it holds itself on all of its limbs. He remembers hearing people talk about quadruped titans but he’s never seen those. He’s barely seen the normal ones in the training field. 

Marley attempts to use pure titans during the war, wanting to find a way to cage them and release them on the battlefield so that enemy soldiers waste all their bullets before getting eaten alive. It might just be the most cruel plan Erwin’s heard thus far but he has no say in it. In fact, he had to accept it would be a smart move, considering most of their neighbouring countries have never seen titans in their lives and don’t know how they behave or look; using them to fight would give Marley the upper hand.

The night doesn't come quickly enough but at least the encounter sparks up conversations again and Isabel walks close to Erwin while asking all sorts of questions. She's very intrigued to know why they look so much like humans when they are not but Erwin has to pretend he doesn't know. She's also wondering how Survey Corps kill them and Erwin can honestly answer he has no idea because he can't believe those people venture outside the walls to face titans head-on.

Suddenly, Erwin thinks that right on the horizon where the sun has almost set and only a red line is spotted, he can see the pier's wall. That tall concrete death ramp where insurgent Eldians meet their demise. His stomach is filled with everything at once; excitement and fear are two sides of the same coin. He's only a step away from ending this but then something new will begin. All his lies will come to an end and the truth will be a slap on everyone's faces. The truth of Marley and their crimes, their experiments, as well as the real reason Levi's here.

Levi.

Erwin will finally know if all of this pays off; if everything he's read is true; if he holds the key to change everything between the Eldians and the world.

Chapter Text

“Bro, bro, bro! What's that!” Isabel is smiling wide, eyes sparkling as she looks back at them, trying to find answers.

“We're here,” Erwin says, breathy.

They are still almost a kilometre away but Isabel runs as if they haven't been walking for days and despite Levi's warning.

“It's ok,” Erwin tells him. “It's just the ocean. No one else is around.”

Levi spares a bitter look at him, disbelief and curiosity fire something different in his eyes.

It only takes Farlan a few minutes to run towards the ocean when they are closer and can hear Isabel's laughter.

“It's fucking freezing!” she exclaims, scooping some in her hands and taking it to her face. She lets out a shriek, spitting out the mouthful of water and sticking her tongue out as well, heaving.

Levi runs to her. “Stay away from it! Now!”

“It's just saltwater,” Erwin explains to appease his fears but he's frowning deeply.

The sun has risen behind their backs. The warm and soft light hits Levi's reddened cheeks and doesn't make him look so rough anymore. He's got deep eye bags under his eyes just as much as the rest of them at this point, but his skin looks soft.

“It's so salty,” she croaks, coughing and heaving some more.

“Is it toxic?” Levi asks.

“No.” Erwin frowns. “But don't drink it, it's not tasty,” he says. He avoids explaining that drinking ocean water has caused sailors to have hallucinations before. Firstly, because he doesn't want to scare them any further and secondly, because it's possible they can't conceive what a sailor even is.

“Don't swim in it!” Levi warns before Isabel can take more of her clothes off.

“It's…” Erwin wants to excuse her but Levi's eyes dig holes in his skull. “It's not safe to swim in it,” he decides. “The current might drag you away. We have time to learn though. We'll be here until the full moon.”

Erwin invites them to walk over to the port. Even if there's not much to show, everything is new for Isabel all the same. Farlan is uninterested in everything boat-related while Mike talks about the pier's construction and discusses how it has been made, only to lie about the purpose of the giant wall behind them. Erwin's not sure when it would be appropriate to tell them that's where soldiers throw Eldians onto the island after injecting them with titan serum. 

Levi stays behind at all times as if someone might push him into the ocean or attack him. They are not wearing equipment at all to even dare do something like that, especially not to him; their bags are by the beach. But Erwin can't say Levi's scepticism isn't delightful. 

He's not a disbeliever, he wouldn't be here in the first place. Even if he won't trust strangers, he will do what it takes to make Isabel and Farlan happy, that much Erwin is certain about. So despite having his doubts, he's here because the prospect of a different life is enticing; if not for him, then for his friends.

Everyone walks back, away from the beach to look for shelter from the sun. They managed to refill their flasks in the last lake they encountered before getting here so Erwin thinks they should have enough water before the ship arrives—if it arrives on time. He thinks he could also find some way of gathering rainwater if necessary—if it rains at all. Or at least collect the morning drizzle.

Wald works up a fire and delights everyone with his lighter. He had one in the backpack they had put away and definitely missed using it. It’s a size-pocket chrome lighter with a broken lid his father had given him. Farlan and Isabel go crazy about it and Levi looks more wary than ever. Erwin, for his part, could almost swear he missed the gasoline smell of it. 

Levi brews some of the tea he stole back in Trost and shares it with everyone, which surprises Erwin. It's nice to drink something hot and tasty and it falls heavy and satisfying in his stomach, making him sleepy. Mike dips the hard bread in the tea to soften it up and Erwin copies him, even if it gives him a disapproving look from Levi. 

This is probably the most relaxed Erwin felt since he first arrived at this beach. They are far enough from danger and on their way home. All of them are ready to embark on a new mission, ready to change the future. Erwin's thrilled to think what's to come even if it will mean a lot of hiding and planning, even if it will take years to free his people from this life of eternal guilt and sin.

Sitting next to a tree, he crosses his arms and legs and closes his eyes against his will. He thinks about his bed and duvet and wishes he could get in between, tight and warm. He listens to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore and remembers the times he visited the seaport in Marley when no one was around so he could be alone with himself in silence, smoking a cigarette and exhaling his problems into the salty air.

He wants to go home and see his father, introduce him to Levi. Help him learn everything he's capable of doing and find out how much more of those tales are true, maybe make the Tyburs interested in him as well. They wouldn't see Levi as a threat because he'd be the proof that everything their ancestors once wrote about is real. They will surely get even richer. This will merely be an opportunity to get them interested in this war again, make them participate actively.

Zeke will be thrilled to know everything they talked about while growing up has become a reality. Soon he will be able to see an Ackerman for himself, in person, and fight alongside him. This one can even fly.

Erwin can't wait for this chapter of his life to end and give way to what's coming.

Two years ago

Nobody knows where Zeke got the marihuana from but everyone is here to get a hit. This is the last night they will spend in HQ before going back to their homes. They've been training for six months straight, which included physical training, firearms practice and going to class to learn more about Marleyan history, Math and Physical Education.

Now, a bunch of them are crammed in Erwin and Zeke's bedroom, excited to have some rest, go home and see their families again.

“Have another hit,” Zeke offers but Erwin shakes his head.

He doesn't like it. His eyes feel heavy and his mouth dry. It's as if he were in a dream and he would like to be more present instead. It does feel relaxing but in an annoying way, he wants to move yet he's stuck to Zeke's bed, feeling heavier than ever.

“Told Pieck and the girls to come by but they didn't dare.”

“It'd be dangerous,” Mike says.

“Pieck's a smart gal,” Zeke says, passing the joint to Wald instead.

“I don't like her.”

“You don't like anyone,” Mike tells Wald.

“What don't you like about her?” Zeke asks.

Wald shrugs. “She's annoying, so quiet. And why did she get to have the Cart Titan so quickly? We weren't even asked.”

“Ah, there it is,” Zeke says.

“We trained as much as she did!”

“They were looking for someone to inherit that titan in secret,” Erwin offers, the words slurring out of him. His tongue is as heavy as his limbs.

“Well, yeah. That's clear,” Zeke concedes. He lies back next to Erwin he smells of cigarettes and lemon and brushes Erwin's hair with his free hand.

“Wow, wow. What do you mean in secret?” Mike asks.

“Erwin figures they've been looking at us in the training grounds. The Cart is a very particular titan, only now have they found a good use for it and Pieck has the patience and strength for it.”

Erwin's happy Zeke can talk for him, would've been a lot to explain. Too hard. Not worth it. 

“I think that, in such a case,” Zeke explains, lowering his voice. “They are experimenting with titans elsewhere.”

Erwin nods lazily, sinking into the bed under Zeke's touch.

“Maybe the compounds outside the city. They must be testing the soldiers and what their titans can do. We've never been explained why the past titans look different from each other. Why did the previous Beasts inherit different animals? Goats, wolves, snakes… rabbits? They need to find a way to make sense of that if they intend to win the war against Marley's enemies.”

“You guys are nuts.” Wald scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah,” Zeke breathes out, smirking softly.

He and Erwin get along because they can ramble on about any topic and will stay up late, chewing the fat and delving into deep philosophical topics, sharing theories about the nature of titans and Ackermans as well as what Marley really wants to achieve in this war.

Those types of conversations don't go well with Wald, maybe with Mike they do but Wald cannot be around or else he'll call people crazy, delusional and a bunch of losers.

They end up talking about what they'll do once they get back home and make plans of meeting over there. Mike says his mother will be thrilled to cook lunch for them. Zeke says he will miss the cigarettes he gets here because the ones from the Internment Zone taste cheap.

Wald is so high that he almost tumbles out of his chair before leaving and Mike has to get a hold of him. They chuckle and say something to each other in a low voice, then they say goodbye since it's already after midnight and they are too tired to function 

“What do you think is up with those two?” Zeke asks once the door is closed.

Erwin shrugs. “Wald hates me.”

Zeke snorts, playing with Erwin's shirt buttons. “You want him to like you?”

“I just never did anything wrong,” Erwin explains, looking at the tip of Zeke's middle finger all yellowish from the cigarettes. “I don't know why we can't get along.”

“Well, he isn't a nice guy,” Zeke answers with a soft smile. His eyes are bloodshot and he has a sleepy look. Zeke was the first soldier from their group to shave his face and does it regularly because he hates the faint moustache over his lips.

“He's just cute,” Zeke offers, raising a brow.

Erwin frowns. He doesn't understand what that has to do with anything. Wald being the most handsome guy among the warrior trainees won't bring him any better results during his exams. He's just got more ladies at his back. Erwin's not interested in that. 

General Magath has told him that they are at that age when sex is the most important thing; he's aware of that initiation ritual that goes around; he surely knows Erwin's not a virgin anymore. But he's mentioned how all that takes the mind away from what's important. And that's why when every other commanding officer is drinking, Magath isn't, and when they are partying, Magath's working.

Erwin wants to prove to the general that he can be hard-working as well. That he knows what's important and what his priorities are. He wants to inspire people like Magath does, only for the right causes.

Now

The first day goes by slowly. Mike helps their Underground recruits lose some fear of the ocean by jumping in himself. He has to pull Isabel and Farlan back towards the beach  because they can't tell the current is taking them away but they don't seem to mind. Mike is big enough to throw them around too and hold them under his arms. It's almost like they have come to understand they can be friends, all of them, even if Levi presses against that. Erwin heard him saying that no matter what they should still keep their distance, that they should keep having a blade on them to defend themselves, and to not let their guards down.

He's standing in front of the ocean now, his arms crossed. At least he dared to take his boots off and rolled his pants up to let the water touch his feet. And even if his friends laugh, and jump around and invite him over, he only frowns, refusing to join.

Erwin can sympathize, though. He now notices how being closer to getting back home has brought him a sense of confidence. But he didn't feel like that at all within the walls, in a strange new place with strange new things. That's exactly how Levi must be feeling right now. If only he was so easily entertained by the new life Erwin offers.

The only time Levi seems interested in being on this beach is when it comes to fishing; he's experienced or maybe just fast. He works up a spear out of wood and quickly throws it into the waters, cleaving through crabs and fishes, even snails. Erwin decides he won't teach them how to build a fishing rod.

They light another fire again during dinner and the food is so good and rich that none of them talks but everyone hums. They lick their fingers and chew the soft meat of the crab, enjoying the feast Levi put up for them. Everyone thanks him but he dismisses them, saying they are stupid enough to starve to death. Erwin somehow realises that’s his way of saying “You’re welcome.”

After the food is completely gone, they linger around the fire in silence. Wald rejoices in having been smart enough to bring cigarettes with him. Erwin can't deny that smelling them is making him crave some but he also knows Wald doesn't share.

When it comes to Erwin’s time to sleep, he walks to a nearby tree and lies there, unable to close his eyes. He hasn't slept properly for months now and least of all in the past few days. It's possible Levi hasn't slept at all either, Erwin doesn't think he ever saw him do it at least.

They are the same in a way, caring for their crew, latching onto hope, with the slight idea that some things might get better even if it takes fighting through sheer fear.

Erwin turns on his back and stares at the moon. The Marleyan ship should’ve left port a few days ago and must be on its way. He wonders if it will be fear or excitement that will attack his stomach when he sees it approaching the horizon. He hopes it's Gerst that shows up since he will surely recognize Erwin, otherwise they could shoot them from afar without a chance of explaining themselves. 

It’s not late yet, the plan didn't take as long. The kids must have just inherited their titans, Zeke must be in possession of the Beast by now. He will make sure the soldiers remember Erwin could be waiting for them by the port. He’s the only one Erwin can lean on in a situation like this.

He’s not sure he managed to sleep at all but when he opens his eyes, his mouth is dry and his neck stiff. The sky is still dark and the fire is nothing but a pile of hot red coals. The rest of the guys are asleep but Erwin can discern Levi’s figure sitting by the shore. The moonlight makes his dark hair look shinier than ever and he’s hunched under one of the linens they used to pack the gear back inside the walls. He must be freezing, Erwin thinks, and maybe asleep, though he’s not on his back or his side. Like a guard dog that sleeps with one of his eyes open, probably hiding a knife under his legs too.

Erwin would like to approach him, engage with him, but guilt is eating him from the inside. He's snatched Levi and his friends from their home and is taking them elsewhere, and they had to accept it: blind and deaf. Erwin never told them what was to come, what was the plan. He convinced them by purely showing them the vast land and skies, the billion stars above them and the grains of sand beneath.

But none of that is true, they are not going to a paradisiacal island to live off the ocean while they swim in it. They are going to join a war that is not even theirs to begin with. 

He needs to come clean if he wants this to work. He needs to warn them if he expects Levi to submit to the Marleyan authorities, or else he might as well be shot on the spot. 

He needs to make this right. 

After getting up and stretching a bit, he goes for a short walk on the beach. It’s short because he’s too tired to go anywhere else. His limbs hurt, his stomach hurt, his throat hurts as well and so does his palate because the crab he ate last night was too hot and he burned it. He takes off his boots to touch the cold sand and walks to the ocean for the first time since they arrived to feel the salty water making all the wounds on his feet sting. He scoops the foam by the shore and then rinses his hands. He uses his toe to draw lines in the wet sand and watches them be washed away by the lapping tide. 

He thinks about the things he will write about when he gets back home. The idea of describing every day since he arrived on this island is something that’s been going around his head. He’d like to talk about Paradis’ life too, how far back in time they live and how their statuses work. Erwin could never say they live in peace; he will for sure have to be pejorative in everything he writes but at least he will be allowed to do it. He can definitely find the bad things about living within walls, hiding from the world. 

He would also like to write his own Ackerman tales, his own experience, though he wouldn’t want to do that without Levi’s permission. He’d like to learn more about him in order to do that too; unless Levi ends up turning into his enemy, more so than he already is now.

It's only after he comes down from his train of thought that he realises he’s been writing in the sand with his feet, and that the names Erwin and Levi are next to each other, so he scratches them up quickly and hopes the ocean does the rest. He could never explain something as stupid as that. He’s embarrassed. 

Levi brews more tea when everyone wakes up and they sit around the kettle. It’s not a cold morning as much as it's humid and Erwin decides to use the opportunity to take his bag with him and come clean. As clean as he can.

“There are some things we need to discuss,” he says, “before the ship arrives.”

Erwin looks around and finds everyone’s eyes fixed on him; everyone but Levi, who’s looking into his tin cup, as if there’s something he’s trying to find at the bottom. He holds it by the rim, using only the tip of his fingers, delicate and clean unlike everyone else’s with dirt under their nails.

“You won't have a better life across the sea.”

“What the fuck, Erwin,” Wald mutters.

“They won't,” Erwin states, looking at him, then back at Levi and his friends. “As you've seen, there's life outside the walls and nothing happened to the earth, those were all lies.”

Erwin's not expecting them to understand this, but he can't expect them to trust him if he doesn't speak truthfully either.

“But that doesn’t mean lies don’t exist where we’re going either. And as contained as Paradis might be, I can't go on pretending I've never felt as free as I felt inside those walls.” 

Mike and Wald look down to the floor themselves because they know Erwin is not lying.

“In Marley you will learn a new truth, the truth of the real world. A world where people like us are despised for the crimes of our ancestors and the reason Paradis exists.”

“What do you mean despised, where the fuck are you taking us?” Farlan asks.

“Eldians,” he says, “people from our lineage live in internment zones—”

“What’s that?” Isabel asks.

Erwin wants to avoid the word confined, the word prison. “In closed cities,” he decides. “We're only allowed to live elsewhere if we serve the Marleyan military,” he explains, taking their uniforms out of the bag, picking up the armbands. “These bands mean we do just that. We were only allowed on this mission because we serve our motherland and we're here to… recruit you.”

“Hold on,” Levi says. “You’ve already said this. You said you wanted to recruit me.” 

“I will introduce you as warriors. But you are… different, Levi.”

“Not this shit again.”

“You're part of a much more important lineage.”

“I’m the son of a whore,” he says.

“You're a nobody, is that what you think?” Erwin asks. “Why is there no last name, Levi? Who is your father?”

“I don’t have one. That's what a nobody is.”

“Haven't you noticed how different you are from us? From them?” Erwin asks, pointing at his friends. ”Where does your strength come from?”

He frowns. “I was trained.”

Finally, something new. “How so?” Erwin asks.

“Don't know. A guy came one day after my mother died,” he explains. “He taught me everything I know. So I know I’m not special.”

Erwin listens intently. “Who was this man?” The more he knows about Levi, the more questions he has.

“ I don't know, ” Levi insists. 

“Who was taking care of you before that?” Erwin can't insist much more before Levi sends him packing.

“No one,” Levi says, looking down at his cup again. “All I remember is starving and being ready to die. The putrid smell from my mother’s corpse,” he explains, fixing his eyes back on Erwin. “When this guy walked in, he looked disappointed. I thought he would kill me but he trained me to kill instead. And that’s it. I know I’m nobody. Putrid decay that just won’t die.”

It’s been a while since they looked at each other with such intensity. Erwin’s mind takes him back to the first time they talked in the Underground and how ready they were both to die at the other’s hand. 

“Levi,” Erwin calls, “don't you think he might have been someone? Why rescue you from your demise otherwise?”

Levi squints, he doesn’t have the answers to that, nor does anyone around them.

“Most people don't do that without expecting something in return,” Erwin asserts.

“Maybe he wanted to hire you,” Isabel offers.

“Don't be stupid,” Levi tells her.

“What did he ask for?” Erwin asks.

“Nothing.”

“This man just… trained you,” Erwin offers, trying to force something else out of Levi.

“I wasn't of any use anyway so he discarded me,” Levi answers. “If I was special then he would’ve used me. Right? Isn't that your logic?”

No . 

Even if Levi thinks this means nothing, there's a reason someone went and gave him a reason to live, the tools to survive. His father. But as much as he wanted his son to thrive he couldn't take him to the light. Where would that man be? Who might that be? He needs to talk to Levi privately.

“What's important,” Erwin says, getting back on track, “is that you know that when that ship docks, you will not be welcomed. As Eldians, you will be a threat to them. We need to follow certain rules to avoid exactly that,” he explains.

“Big bro will always be a threat,” Iz says with a snort.

“This is not a game, listen up,” Wald snaps.

“Yeah,” Mike says. “We are all a threat if we are on this shore, actually. People are not expected to be here. But if we have our uniforms on at least they will recognise us.”

“You have a few extra uniforms in there?” Farlan asks, trying to peek into the bag.

“Sadly, we don’t. But… they might be armed,” Erwin says, taking a rifle out of his bag.

“Holy fuck what is that?” Iz exclaims.

“Shut up,” Farlan says, elbowing her. “They already know we went through their stuff.”

She shrugs. “Still.”

“These are similar to the ones you use in Paradis,” he says, lifting the bolt handle and pulling it to take out a cartridge. “But these work from a long distance and with bullets,” he explains, offering it.

“No powder,” Farlan says.

“The powder is in the bullet.”

Isabel looks at it, mouth agape, as Farlan spins and fiddles with it between his fingers. 

“Anything might give the generals a reason to beat us up or worse,” Erwin explains. “So the rifles and the gear will have to remain far away from us. And we will wait by the pier with our hands up.”

They talk about firearms and war assets, who Marley wants to fight in this war and why, but Erwin says Marley's only purpose with Paradis is for it to stay in the shadows as it already is. Explaining what the founder is would only create more confusion and he's not sure they are ready to know where titans come from.

Levi gets quickly bored and finds some food for lunch, after that, they break apart. Erwin can hear them talking about Marley and its technology while lying under the shadow of a tree.

Wald tells him he's an idiot for talking too much and Erwin has learned at this point that none of Wald's opinions matter. He's never right and he's always scared. He never takes any chances and he never puts any ideas on the table; he just complains. So Erwin tells Wald that he is still not in charge of this mission and that he can give a bad report about Erwin once they are back home.

During the afternoon, he decides to go for a swim too. Isabel makes him laugh after she throws a ball of wet sand on his back and he decides to attack back. Farlan climbs on Mike's back to protect himself but he's thrown to the water. It's weird to laugh but it's nice to know they can do it.

At night, the moon looks full already but not entirely. Erwin's seen it enough to know it will be completely full the next day. His stomach rumbles and he walks far enough to feel safe behind a tree to go to the bathroom. It smells bad and looks bad, he might have gotten sick. He's coming down with something right at the last minute, he can't allow it. 

Back by the pier, everyone seems ready to go to sleep. They are in their safe designated position. Erwin finds Levi's lonely silhouette and dares to approach him, sitting only a few meters away.

Levi spares a look, unamused, before staring back into the ocean. “You look like shit,” he says.

“I think I'm getting sick.”

“I told you to cook that crab. You can't expect to eat animals and be done with it.”

Erwin doesn't think that's it, he's heard of people eating raw crab and fish before. Maybe he's not built for it.

“You must be right,” he concedes.

“Tch. That's reckless of you. If you die then that ship won't pick us up.”

Erwin wonders for a second if Levi's worried about him and where that comes from. He'd ask, he'd like to engage in a more friendly way, but he's not sure he could and he's not feeling any better either. More than likely though Levi is just looking out for his own skin.

The ocean looks so pretty at night when the moon is full. Erwin finds himself feeling nostalgic again for what he will miss from all this and how much he won't be able to experience it again. He listens to Levi breathing deeply and forgets how to breathe himself. He rubs his eyes.

“Levi,” he calls.

Levi turns his neck and spares a look, scowl in place.

“Have you ever heard of… the Ackerman clan?”

He looks bored, he looks tired. “If you have another of your stupid lessons to tell, just spit it out.”

“Ackermans were… are… a lineage of warriors. Strong warriors that fought the wars of Eldians alongside titans.”

Levi squints.

“I know titans don't mean much to you. You've barely seen one in action but they were not always like this. This was not their main purpose.”

Erwin is not expecting Levi to answer and he's more than glad he's at least listening. It was surprising enough to hear him speak about his childhood earlier today.

“Titans… are people. Regular people that were turned into those monsters,” he explains, causing Levi to turn his body slightly to face him, frowning. “After years of experimentation, Marley has engineered a way of turning Eldians into titans. They want Paradis to stay disconnected from the world and so they found a way to keep them here,” Erwin says, huffing a laugh, thinking about how sadistic brilliant people can be. “Those that live in Marley and fight against their ideals are turned into titans and thrown in here. Keeping people controlled out there and in here at the same time.”

“Why the hell are you laughing?”

“I'm sorry, I'm not,” Erwin says, rubbing his face. “It's just… Levi, I'm telling you this because you need to know. And I want you to decide how much you want your friends to know.”

“It doesn't seem like we have a choice. You brought us here already.”

“Nothing will happen to you. Nothing can happen to you, specifically, Levi… if my assertions are correct… you are an Ackerman.”

“Stop that. I'm not a special warrior just because I'm stronger than you.”

“But you are. And people like you cannot be turned into titans, cannot be controlled.”

“Stop spewing shit. Tell me the real reason you risked your life to come all this way.”

Erwin takes a deep breath. This is the only place he will be able to speak the truth without risking anyone hearing him. This is his one and only chance, his last chance of ruining this or making it worth everyone's time.

And so he tells Levi about the tale of Ymir, her power and descendants, her demise. He tells Levi how his father explained all of this to him and how dangerous that was on his part. How the parents of his friend were sent to this very island to turn into titans because of saying that same story out loud.

Then, Erwin tells Levi what Ymir meant for civilization and what the Eldians mean to the world now. How they conquered lands by spreading fear and death with their power and how they genetically changed their lineage, how they created the Ackerman clan as a result.

Levi doesn't understand why he would be one, even after Erwin lays out all of the proof. But that's beyond the matter, they will confirm that once they cross the ocean and lock him in a lab to run tests on him. Erwin would like to prepare him for that too, but now he wants Levi to know what Marley intends to do with Paradis and how Ackermans would be both a blessing and a curse. How Marley plans to use them to their favour, and how Levi could make a difference in the long run.

After he's done talking, Erwin doesn't feel so sick anymore. Levi wasn't talkative, he didn't ask any questions but he listened. He might not believe he's part of the Ackerman clan but Erwin thinks he understands what's at stake. And he knows that he's capable of making a difference. He's willing to fight because that's all he's ever done.

“Tomorrow…” Levi says after some minutes of silence. “I'll tell this to Farlan and Iz tomorrow.”

“As you see fit,” Erwin says. If Levi's trustworthy, his friends are too. They will follow him to their death.

“Will I,” Levi trails off, looking into the ocean. “Be able to take a proper shower over there?”

The question raises a soft smile on Erwin's lips. “Yes. That much I can promise.”

“You need one too,” Levi says. “You are impossible to be around. And you're not easy on the eyes either.”

Erwin huffs a laugh. “I've been told that since I was a kid.”

“Yet it doesn't stop you from going to the streets to terrorise children.”

“No, it doesn't.”

“Nothing seems to stop you,” Levi says, looking back at him. “Get some rest. Don't let your stomach get the best of you.”

Five years ago 

His father smiles politely at the officer and engages in chit-chat. They talk about school subjects and then about food. The officer makes a comment about his wife waiting for him with dinner ready and then they say goodbye.

As soon as the door closes behind him, Erwin's father holds his wrist strongly and pulls him along, carrying him up the stairs and right into his room. He pushes the door shut and throws Erwin against the wall, right next to his bookcase and kneels.

He's never been violent in any way. Erwin's never seen his eyes so wide open either.

“Did Zeke tell anyone else, Erwin?” his father demands. He’s restless. He looks strung out beneath so much fear that Erwin is scared too. 

He told his father the story his friend shared with him that morning and somehow a soldier showed up at their doorstep on their way back from school.

“I… don’t know,” Erwin stutters. “He said that’s all his father talks about.”

Erwin doesn’t know if they were heard in school or if someone heard him on his way home.

“Did you tell him to keep it to himself?”

Erwin’s stomach hurts, he’s afraid to have ruined it all; he’s afraid because he’s never seen his father afraid before.

“I told him I didn't believe that, that it cannot be true, just like you taught me,” Erwin explains. It was weird enough for him to hear Zeke say something he only heard his father say before.

“Grisha might as well get us all killed,” his father says. 

Now

A honk startles Erwin; he thinks he might have been dreaming but he can’t remember what it was. Levi’s kicking his legs to wake him up.

“Your friends are here,” he says, and he doesn't look impressed for a man who is seeing a military ship for the first time.

Erwin gets up quickly, brushing his eyes. The horizon is blurry in front of him and the sun has not yet risen but the sky is already light blue. He feels a bit smug for proving to Levi that looking at the moon helps understand and track time, though he was also lucky the ship didn't encounter any storms that could've delayed their arrival.

He instructs everyone to follow through just as they had planned, to pack their things and stand by the pier. He, Mike, and Wald put on their uniform and armbands. He reminds them that being by the port is not normal and so they should stand still and follow directions to avoid conflict; he also reminds them that they should let Erwin do the talking and that everything will be alright. 

They will be travelling to a new place in no time.

The ship approaches with loud honks and soldiers quickly gather up to point their rifles at them, screaming at them to stay still and asking who the fuck they are. Erwin never thought he’d be in this position, he always worked so hard to avoid being considered an enemy; yet now he’s standing here, surrounded by his fellow soldiers who regard him suspiciously.

Erwin screams back, stating his name, his rank, his position, his motherland, but the soldiers do not listen. They keep repeating the same questions, threatening to shoot if they move even an inch. 

When the ship docks, they are still there and Erwin can count at least twenty armed soldiers making their way out of the ship and walking towards them, pointing their guns and adding to the awful confusing screams.

“You yellowhead shit, this better work,” Levi mutters.

“Let me handle this, please.”

The soldiers line up in front of them, pointing their guns right into their heads. There are other soldiers at their back too, lowering their hands, putting cuffs on their wrists, forcing them to kneel. 

“They have armbands, sir!”

“Please, let me speak to Sergeant Gerst,” Erwin says before earning a kick right in the face. It comes right out of nowhere and shakes him to his core.

“Shut up, disgusting devil,” the soldier seethes.

Erwin can feel warm blood dripping over his lips and down his chin as he stares at the ground. He waits there in silence, listening to Isabel's whispering and the soft shushing which follows. Then someone steps in front of him.

“Cadet Smith?”

“He's not a cadet,” someone says.

“Sir,” Erwin calls, looking up, swallowing liquid iron and anger.

“We thought you were dead. Almost threw a wake in your name.” He looks as old as ever but his skin is darker, maybe from staying under the sun all these days. There are wrinkles on his forehead and greys in his stubble. He smiles that yellowish smile.

“I'm not, sir,” Erwin answers and swallows again. “I've succeeded. We're ready for extraction.”

“You've succeeded, huh?” he asks, hunching down with a smirk on his lips. “And what was it that you were doing here? Fucking titans?”

“We found an Ackerman, sir.”

“Oh yeah? Which one?”

Erwin looks next to him and Levi stares right back at him. If the soldiers don't kill him, he might.

“This one?” Gerst asks, moving closer, winning Levi's attention.

He's gritting his teeth, frowning furiously. He looks just like when Erwin captured him, a feral animal looking for a way to be set free.

“He doesn't look anything special.”

“I assure you, sir, he's a pure warrior.”

“A warrior? He looks prettier than any of the boys I've paid to fuck!”

“I pity them,” Levi seethes.

Gerst lets out a deep, fake laugh before he punches Levi right in the face. Only he doesn't bleed.

“Fuck!” Gerst exclaims, shaking his hand and holding it against his chest. “That was like hitting a fucking wall.”

“ He's not a normal warrior, ” Erwin says through gritted teeth. “Sir.”

“Shit, are his balls as hard as his face?”

“ Try me. ”

Levi gets hit in the back of the head with the butt of a rifle and then kicked in the stomach, yet he has to be restrained before he manages to fully get up as he tries to surge right into the sergeant.

“Fucking devils!” Gerst exclaims. “None of you are fucking normal, you fucking freaks!” He kicks Levi yet again, and his friends try to move to get to him but the soldiers at the back don’t allow them.

“And who the fuck are these two?”

“They are his squad, sir. They are loyal.”

“To whom? A disgusting demon?” He scoffs. “Take them to the ship,” he orders and the soldiers hold on to everyone's arms and start pulling from them, even when Erwin is not offering any resistance. ”Not those two, those go to the wall,” Gerst orders.

“Hey!” Levi exclaims, trying to fight the two soldiers that hold on to him and getting kicked. “Get your hands off them!”

“Sergeant Gerst, sir!” Erwin calls, struggling under the soldier's grip. “They are valuable men, they are!” he exclaims. He tries not to look at Levi as he is punched to the ground.

“Bring him too,” Gerst orders, brushing his eyes.

“Sir!” Erwin tries as he's being dragged through the ground, he can still hear  Levi fighting soldiers behind him. “My orders, sir. I am to bring the Ackerman clan to Marley. They are of it, they will follow us as much as they follow him. He's with us only because they are alive, they are vital to this mission,” he explains desperately, kneeling right next to Isabel and Farlan.

Isabel's hair is pulled back because just like Levi, she won’t go down without a fight. And as always, for such a little kid, she can give any man a hard time. One of the soldiers has an  iron grip on Farlan's neck, and Erwin thinks that if he doesn't talk fast enough, he might just suffocate to death.

“I've seen them, sergeant. I fought with them. They are strong loyal soldiers. We will fight for our motherland.” He spits blood with every word that comes out of his mouth. “Our war is nowhere near done. Our next invasion will include titan warriors and the Ackerman, we will retrieve the founder. We will win the war.” He’s running out of breath. 

“How much bullshit are you willing to spit out for your little devil friends?”

Erwin’s stomach fails him again, he thinks he’s going to be sick, he’s feeling desperate, he needs to calm down. “It's not a lie, sir,” he says, evening his breathing. “You know me. I have principles. I—”

“I couldn't give less of a shit if we shared the training fields, you're mere shit to me. And you'll end up with serum up your ass and off this wall!” He exclaims.

“Sir, please. Killing me would only delay our plan but—”

Gerst fires two shots.

Erwin can barely grasp the two bodies that fall flat next to him.

Levi screams at his back.

“Stop that beast!” Gross exclaims. “He's just one man for fuck's sake! Keep him alive!”

Isabel lies next to Erwin, eyes wide open, blood spilling from her head like an open faucet, almost as red as her hair. Behind him, he can still hear the soldiers struggling but he doesn't dare to move; he's already overstepped enough. He’ll be lucky if he makes it out of here alive.

“You've always been a talker, Smith. I could never stand you.” Gerst sighs deeply. “Your father got away with so much shit by just talking, you know? I cannot stand a fucking talker,” he breathes out the words like he's exhausted.

Erwin can barely breathe; his nose might be broken, he thinks, maybe a rib too considering the stabbing sensation in his chest.

“You like thinking Magath is on your side, you little shit?” Gerst kicks him once more, pushing him onto his side.

“I'm only following orders, Sir,” he says slowly. He suddenly, finally, feels tired.

“No!” Levi screams, still trying to reach Isabel and Farlan's lifeless bodies. Erwin can hear him sobbing. “I will fucking kill you, Smith!”

“Kick him until he shuts up!” Gerst orders. “Jesus fucking Christ!”

Erwin spits blood; he's sure he will be sick from how much he's already swallowed.

“You got any other smart shit to say?”

Erwin shakes his head. Levi's alive. That's all that matters. He's still alive and now they'll all be sailing back to Marley.

Erwin's going home.

Chapter Text

Levi’s head is reeling and his stomach churns. The ocean is awful; he knew it the moment he set his eyes on it, but tried to convince himself he was wrong. There surely had to be something good in it if Isabel and Farlan enjoyed it so much.

He keeps waking up to throw up even if there’s nothing in his stomach, and after he’s done heaving, he remembers everything that happened. It was not just an awful nightmare, it was real. His friends are not here anymore. They will not walk in through the door, they will not look into his eyes ever again, and at some point, Levi will forget their voices, just like he forgot his mother’s, and so he sobs. 

There’s a soldier outside of his room, he thinks. The man punches the door, telling him to shut up from time to time, but he doesn't come in. Levi would’ve thought he was in a cell but it doesn't look like one. Even if it’s filthy, there’s a bed with a mattress, a dresser, a sink, a chair, and a table. Everything is made of steel, it seems like, and the entire room is painted in colours ranging from awful white to light yellow. There's a round, tiny window on one of the walls, and several pipes, cables, and weird steel boxes hang on the rest of them. It’s cold and it smells awful; the bucket filled with his vomit doesn't help at all.

He figures the door is locked but he hasn't attempted to get out yet. Just getting up to look through the window is enough to throw him back to the bed. He's not cuffed anymore but he's been beaten to bits. Every part of his body hurts, inside and out. There are bruises on his stomach, arms, and legs and he's somewhat grateful for that; if it weren't for all the physical pain he might’ve gotten even more wrapped up in those dark memories of how Isabel's body fell flat on the ground and the pool of blood that built up around her. He doesn't remember anything else after that.

Someone has left fruit by the door; the apple ended up rolling over the floor and now it's swinging by a corner. That’s where Levi’s eyes are set because even if his stomach is moving as much as that apple, it relaxes him to see something familiar. It’s a bigger apple than he’s used to seeing though, and that’s unsettling. Levi’s afraid that it might taste different too and so he wants to steer clear from it; he has no appetite whatsoever anyway. His flask was on the dresser at some point and it's now on the floor. He'd love to walk there because his throat is dry and raspy but he can't manage to move. 

He doesn't remember ever feeling this weak and he bitterly remembers Erwin's words, echoing inside his skull. He's supposed to be strong and skilled but what does that account for if he cannot keep his friends alive? His father close by and his mother happy? He was never strong and he was never capable. He's just alive because someone else died when it should've been him.

When the little round window gets darker Levi sobs yet again. He wished he had at least managed to sleep for a whole day, but all those times he woke up and went back to sleep did not make hours go by any faster. He's sure he's not been in this place for a full day yet and it's exhausting to know that.

It feels as though he's been forgotten, even if he isn't expecting anyone to check on him. It's likely that now that he's on this ship he will be delivered as promised. Erwin was clear about that; he's to be a warrior in that stupid country of his, and that's the only reason he took him out of the Underground.

Levi will have to start from scratch yet again. He always knew he would. Things don't last in his life. He doesn't expect to experience happiness. There's no reason to expect love, Farlan was wrong. He died believing lies. Isabel did, too. They died following empty dreams. They are filth, after all.

The room constantly swings and the flask makes a rattling sound that catches Levi's attention. He doesn't want to die inside this cage and he doesn't want to let his friends’ death be for nothing. They risked their lives coming all the way here and Levi will make something out of it. If he dies, it will be fighting. So he rolls out of bed and crawls. There's heat rising from his back to his neck and he swallows to avoid puking yet again.

A hand first, a knee next, and he gets closer. He moves another hand forward, holding the urge to heave. Swallowing hard. 

He feels stronger than he thought he'd be when he takes hold of the flask and kneels to uncork it. He drinks straight from it, thinking if someone wanted to get rid of him they might just leave him locked in there. No need to give the killing blow.

He coughs, his throat is too dry and swallowing is uncomfortable, then lets out a hoarse groan. He curses to himself. He will have to live again and watch people leave him by himself. He can't even think of what else is there to lose.

He drinks until the flask is empty and then looks at the apple, licking his lips. It's nice to do that with a freshly wet mouth. He puts the cork back and crawls toward the piece of fruit.

He digs his teeth fully in and his gums hurt. It also tastes like steel and dirt, so he spits on the floor. There's a fat drop of sweat going down his neck and it tickles, his whole body feels wet and his head is numb and heavy. 

The ocean hasn't been his friend since day number one. It already looks distrustful and unlike lakes, it's not helpful towards wounds, making his skin sting. It also leaves it sticky. It's not useful for washing anything either, least of all for drinking.

It's even worse travelling across it. The ship keeps moving from side to side and he's crouching on the floor without being able to bite down on a damn apple.

For the first time since he was dropped in this bed, he listens to footsteps coming from the hallway outside. At least this is the first time he's aware of them, and it sets him on edge. He crawls next to the door and presses his back against the wall. They are clear and loud, stepping on the steel floor. Levi looks around, searching for something that might help him defend himself but he will have to rely on his fists, as weak as they feel. Considering he's not in a cell and he's not restrained, he supposes someone is bringing dinner, more water, or cuffs but it’s none of that. It's the shithead foreign bastard and he comes inside empty-handed.

Erwin looks around and then down at Levi before closing the door and at that moment, Levi can feel the strength growing inside his veins as he gets up to throw a punch to Erwin's stomach, making him fall right to the ground. 

The more Levi moves, the stronger he feels so he spares a few punches to Erwin’s face and then puts his hands around his neck, tightly.

“You filthy bastard,” Levi croaks. “You brought us right to our deaths!”

Erwin’s grip on his hands is not strong; he’s not defending himself, he’s letting go. His eyes are already blackened by the soldier’s beating so Levi punches his face once more before strangling him again. But nothing works. Nothing takes the void in his chest away.

“You’ve got nothing to say!” Levi sobs, his voice breaking. He can feel tears running down his face, snot dripping over his lips. “You got what you wanted, didn't you!” he exclaims, offering another blow. “Is your papa gonna be proud now, rich boy?” Levi holds Erwin's collar and pulls from it. “Say something! Defend yourself!”

Erwin blinks heavily and swallows hard. “You saved my life once,” he says hoarsely. “It's in your hands to do with it as you please.”

The boy with the death wish.

Is Levi supposed to feel grateful for having permission to take his life when this idiot means nothing to anybody? Does this asshole believe he can atone for his own mistakes when ending him is no privilege?

How dare he pretend I'm special. How dare he still play that stupid game.  

Levi slaps him right across the face and stares at him, disoriented. 

Erwin takes a hand to his cheek and frowns. His nose is bleeding and his eyes are watery. Levi punches his face once more before dropping to the floor right next to him.

“Asshole,” Levi groans.

It would be silent if it weren't for the never-ending noises of the goddamn ship. There's a constant rumbling that just won't quit and every piece of furniture clings against the wall and the floor.

Levi notices how Erwin turns on his side and leans on his elbow. He holds Levi’s hand and presses it to his cheek. He leaves the hand on the floor and then touches Levi's forehead. 

“You've got a fever,” Erwin says, moving his hand away.

“From the ocean.”

“From the sun,” Erwin corrects him. “You need to get to bed.”

“Why are you here.”

“I wasn't allowed down here all day… I'm… I'm sorry.” 

That doesn't answer Levi's question and he doesn't want to ask twice.

Erwin sits up, hugging his knees, looking elsewhere. “Showers are available. We will have to also clean them but we can shower,” he says and takes a pause to sniff. He touches his bloody nose. “I thought you'd want to know. We might have to do it until we get back but I could try to get us a spot in the kitchen too.”

“Has it only been a day?”

“Yes. We…” Erwin trails off, getting up. “Yes, we embarked before noon.” He offers a hand to help Levi up.

The walk to the bed is slow and he shakes Erwin's hand off once he lies there. 

“You can't work with a fever,” Erwin tells him.

“I need food and a shower, that's all.”

“You need rest.”

“Rest is what's killing me,” Levi says, turning on his side to avoid looking at Erwin. “What are you here for?”

“I…” he trails off. 

Levi can listen to his steps.

“Was the apple too sour?”

“Yes,” he lies.

“Paradis apples are superior, that is true,” Erwin concedes. “And smaller somehow.”

Levi could never eat as many apples as he did after getting out of the Underground and he doesn't know any other type. He didn't know there could be others, to begin with. Then again he didn't know lakes could be so big and have saltwater in them either. Or that he could feel this sick for so many hours without a break.

“I will work on the showers so we can speed that up,” Erwin says. He talks like Levi cares. “You just need to go up the stairs and turn left. I’ll also have a uniform ready for you.”

“Am I being recruited then?”

“You don't… have a choice.”

It’s not a matter of choices, Levi never had any .

“I’ll get going,” Erwin says and Levi turns around to watch him leave but he stops. “Levi, the… soldiers you fought with are all in the infirmary. They will survive just… a few broken bones.” Erwin is not looking at him, he’s staring right down at the floor. “Why…” he asks, “Why did you stop fighting?”

Levi hates that Erwin knows he could've killed them, that he would've wanted to do it.

“What was the point of killing all of you,” he answers.

“Right,” Erwin says and walks out. 

Levi would’ve liked to kill everyone on that pier, but the idea of dying before getting to Gerst was too much to bear. That bastard will get what’s coming to him for not letting Isabel ride on this ship, for not allowing her to meet a new country and eat bigger apples. For not letting Farlan prove Levi wrong.

He gets up, thinking that cleaning will help him keep his mind busy. He could snatch some supplies to clean this nasty room. He needs to empty his bucket full of bile and blood too. 

His steps are uneven as he walks out, and the stairs are much further away than he imagined. There are appliances on the walls that light the hallway, but they look different from the ones he knows; he doesn't understand where the oil goes. There are also more doors just like the one from his room. He wonders if there are people in there and if they heard everything Erwin told him. He doesn't think he's heard anyone in all his time there.

The stairs are not so hard to walk if he holds the railing strongly and when he gets on top, he finds Mike. He's standing in a clean, neat uniform and his hair is wet, but he hasn't shaved. In front of him, there's just another hallway, more steel, and more doors.

Mike points a finger to another corridor. “Showers are over there.” 

Levi follows the directions, staring at the weird walls and the big fat nails sticking out of them. There are two more doors on his way there and they look just as thick, with big robust frames; he can't imagine the amount of people they might need to build a thing like this.

The shower room is not as big, but Levi had to heat water from a bucket most of his life; bathing in a lake was the most satisfying experience he had in years. He would like to know what it is like to be under a showerhead and feel the drops on him. 

Erwin is on the floor scrubbing in his underwear and gives Levi a nod over the shoulder before moving on. His back and legs are all bruised from his comrade's warm welcome.

After emptying his bucket down the drain, Levi rinses it and starts scrubbing as well. The floor is slimy and it's disgusting to kneel on so he just crouches. The smell of the disinfectant is strong and it makes his knuckles burn. Furlan had told him they could be lucky enough to have a hot shower and a hot meal on the same day if everything went right. He was always very optimistic and Levi liked knowing some people were capable of being like that. When they rescued Isabel, he even said they could help her go to school some days during the week, that it would help her to socialise with kids her age.

Levi lets the tears build up around his eyes as he scrubs the mould from the steel floor. He wasn't aware his mother was dead until her body grew cold and he couldn't sleep next to her anymore. He couldn't understand why his father left him without saying a word. But he was sure Farlan and Izzy wouldn't get up from the floor this morning. He was never as certain about death as he is today.

He scrubs the floor and the walls for who knows how long and is glad to at least have water around to clean his runny nose as he silently cries.

Erwin doesn't utter a word and Levi doesn't need instructions for cleaning a bathroom so they don't engage in conversation. After they are done, they shower in opposite corners and change.

The uniform is uncomfortable and cold, the fabric ridiculously stiff: brown slacks, a white shirt, and a brown jacket. He also needs to wear an armband, a different colour from the one Erwin's wearing.

He doesn't understand the point, but he doesn't ask either and when Erwin offers to get him some food he refuses, saying that all he needs is to clean his dorm. So Erwin gets him a broom, a bucket, and a mop, and Levi walks back to his room.

There are only plain shirts and underwear inside the dresser, nothing else. He will have to sleep on his sweaty sheets. At least he's not sick anymore. He touches his forehead the way Erwin did. He's not sure if he's running hot or not but he gets to cleaning.

He strips to his underwear and scrubs every corner of the floor, the ceiling, and behind every weird steel box and pipe. He cleans the table, the bed, and the rest of the furniture but there's some sort of rust that is never entirely gone. He rinses the mop on the sink by the door and gets more water for a finishing touch. He weeps.

He rinses his body using the sink before getting dressed and decides he will try to eat that apple again.

It’s sour and it’s mealy. He wants to spit it out but swallows it with water. Still, he doesn’t eat it fully. He has no idea how long it’s been since he got back to his room but he knows he’s fast when it comes to cleaning so it’s not probably been much. What’s worse, the room still looks filthy. There’s no way to make the walls look any homey, the colours are unwelcoming and the furniture eerie. He’s seen much better-looking houses in the Underground, even when the broken bricks are visible they look better than this plain paint that is constantly moist and all these pipes that go from wall to wall and from floor to ceiling for who knows what.

Leaving the room again sounds dreadful. He already stumbled upon a few new faces that only spared him a hateful gaze. He’s not welcome here. Erwin has already mentioned how Eldians are not welcome where they are going. It doesn't feel any different than going above while living in the Underground.

Sleeping isn’t a possibility and lying down only makes him feel more dizzy, so he just sits on the floor against the wall, hugging his knees. This is the only way he finds comfort and warmth since he was a kid. This is the only way he sees himself enduring what’s to come.

Ten years ago

“She’s dead,” Levi tells the stranger who just walked in.

They don’t care anyway, they didn't care when Levi told them she was sick, and they don’t care when he tells them she is dead. Some said it was better if she didn’t speak, others didn't say anything at all. Some said she was useless anyway after climbing off of her. Levi stopped trying to defend her after getting beaten to bits so now he just gets up once they are gone to close her legs and put the sheets over her body again. Then he walks back to sit against the wall.

“And you?” the man asks. “Are you dead too?”

Levi looks up at him. He’s wearing a hat and a long, stained coat.

“Oi, oi. Gimme a break. Ya understand me, right? What’s your name?” he asks.

“Levi,” he says. “Just… Levi.”

The man hums and mumbles something under his breath that Levi can’t hear.

“I’m Kenny,” he then says. “Just Kenny.”

Kenny takes Levi to a bar and invites him to milk and bread and he eats until his tummy hurts. Then he sleeps until he gets a headache.

Unlike his mother, Kenny talks a lot. He has a lot of things to say that Levi doesn’t understand and he talks to every person he meets too. He gets drunk and beats people up. He gets Levi a knife and teaches him how to wield it. Only after that, he buys Levi new clothes and a haircut.

They burn his mother's body in a bonfire that Levi helps build. Kenny says that will help her rest in peace but that she was long gone anyway. That she was a strong motherfucker.

Levi’s sure this man is his father but doesn’t dare to ask. At least he’s not locked in a room anymore and he’s fed every day. At night he’s sad and he cries because he misses his mom, but during the afternoons he’s angry, wondering if Kenny waited for her to die before showing up so he didn’t have to deal with her as well. Levi punches strangers’ guts and threatens them until they give him their money, trying to show Kenny he’s not as weak as she was. 

Levi eats and grows up enough to feel strong. He's so strong that no one dares to mess with him and those who do end up either stabbed or with broken fingers. It's still not enough for Kenny. He tells Levi he's too slow and says he's too cocky. He tells Levi he's a midget and that there's nothing he can do to fix that but he could at least use it to his advantage.

Kenny slaps Levi across the face whenever he cries. He says that strong people don't cry. That he has to be strong, not weak. That strong people survive and weak people die. That strong people infuse fear and weak people are stepped over.

Sometimes, when Kenny's drunk, he tells Levi stories about his mother. He says Kuchel was very fast and could outrun every kid in the Village. That running saved her life until she couldn't run anymore. Levi doesn't understand what he means but likes thinking about a time his mother was as strong as he is.

Kenny talks about the day and night, about the walls and titans. He says things Levi doesn't understand at all but he still learns to insult the people that try to step over him and to be quiet and agile enough to go unnoticed. There are traitors that try to go against the King's power and Levi learns to listen to their conversations. Kenny rewards him with cake for ratting them out. He says he'll take care of them for going against the King.

Now

The loud clanging sound of the door opening echoes in the room and startles Levi. Erwin is stepping in, the dim light leaving his face in the shadow but it’s clear he’s holding something. He uses his shoulder to push the door close with a heavy thud. 

Every sound he makes is annoying, from his footsteps to the clacking sound of the things he puts over the table. And he’s quiet, so quiet that Levi’s sure he has a lot to say.

“I brought… some hot water for you,” is what he says. “They confiscated all of our things but I managed to save your tea,” he explains, touching the little bag next to the kettle. “They have your knives and… the gear, the blades.” 

Levi doesn’t want to answer. He doesn't understand why Erwin is trying to pretend to be nice now that he’s succeeded. That's the word he used while they were at gunpoint. Everything feels superficial around him; Levi was his little mission and nothing else. He knew it was all a game for Erwin since the first time they met.

“I’m not sure if the water temperature is right but I made sure to heat it up a lot so… you can let it cool down… if necessary.”

Erwin lingers, staring at the floor, two fingers resting on the table.

“How’s your fever?” he asks. 

Levi wrings his fingers around his wrist and doesn’t answer. He doesn't intend to move either, he doesn't need to defend himself, he doesn't need to hide. Erwin's no threat.

“They isolated you to avoid getting the crew sick so I will say it didn’t get any better… you won’t want to share the bedrooms anyway. We’re all crammed out there.”

Levi doesn’t care but it does make sense, and he certainly doesn’t want to share a bedroom. He doesn't want to sleep next to anyone, he doesn't want to see anyone. He wishes Erwin would leave.

“I also managed to,” he says, digging his hand in his pants, ”get this from our bags.” Erwin places something small on top of the table, and it makes a metallic sound. “Hide it well.” He takes a step back and spares a look at Levi before walking out, letting the loud sounds of the door reverberate into Levi’s skull. 

He waits for a few minutes before getting up and softly presses his knuckles on the kettle to test the heat. It will do. He notices the small trinket Erwin set next to it and loses his breath before his eyes get watery. He holds it tight inside his fists until it digs into his skin and falls on his knees. 

It’s a stupid little hanging charm in the shape of a half-moon. Isabel snatched it from Trost's markets. She was very excited about it. She loved taking little trinkets from people while they didn't notice. She was thrilled to have looted something from a new city. She was also collecting shells from the beach.

The idea that he didn’t die before her and left her to her fate makes him blink the tears away. At least she won’t grow up to be like him. At least she died dreaming of the beach, of swimming in the ocean, and fantasising that she would marry Mike. She made so many sexual comments about him that Levi finds himself huffing a laugh. She was so down for that big guy.

Levi gets up to sit on the chair and, without letting go of the trinket, he unties the little tea bag to put some leaves into the tin cup. Erwin didn't bring anything to strain it but he doesn’t want to waste any tea putting it into the kettle, there’s too much water in there. He will have to drink it as is. 

The warmth going down his chest feels nice. He sniffs and drinks and daydreams, wondering why Erwin brought him any of this. If he thinks he can make Levi forget he's the one to blame for his friends' death; if he hopes for their little conversation by the beach to still hold any power. He drifts off.

Levi wakes up the next morning still holding the trinket, face flat on the table. Erwin has just walked into the room, letting the door make that awful clanging sound.

“Levi, are you alright?” he asks.

Levi's eyesight is blurry. He brushes his face and sniffs, looking at the window. He slept through the night.

“Yeah,” he manages.

“Is…” Erwin reaches with his hand to touch Levi's forehead, “your fever any better?”

“Yeah,” Levi says, moving Erwin's hand away.

“You're still red on the cheeks, does it hurt?” he asks, sitting down.

“No.”

He can't believe he'll have to endure Erwin's talking in the morning as well. But he'd like more tea so he will have to either leave the room or ask for it.

Levi rubs his eyes once more and puts Erwin in focus. It's the first time he really pays attention to him, all neat and clean in his uniform. His hair is combed to the side, he's also shaven that stupid thin moustache he was growing. There are bruises on the right side of his face from Levi's punches. He's got such a big head and such a small face for those big eyes and big nose. He's so weird to look at. So bright.

“Listen,” he says, moving his chair closer. “We'll be in charge of cleaning the rooms and the bathrooms; the showers at night. They don't want us near the kitchens, but I figured you wouldn’t want to be near them either.”

“I'm not helping your ass.”

Erwin frowns. “We have… tasks. We need to keep the ship in good condition.”

“I can clean by myself. Go help your friends.”

“They are doing other tasks,” he says. “The sergeant doesn't hold you or me in high regard. He won't listen to me so we'll have to wait until we dock in Marley. In the meantime, I think it's a good idea to lie low. To not get into fights and just clean and… eat. Aren't you hungry?”

Levi moves away from the table and crosses his arms. All he had was tea and a bite of that stupid apple.

“Let me…” Erwin stops in his tracks and lets out a deep sigh. “Breakfast is being served. I recommend you don't miss it. I'm on my way there, so you can come too.”

“Big nice guy you are,” Levi spits out. “You only wanted to bring me here and I'm here. There's no need to keep pretending.”

“Yes, Levi,” Erwin says, leaning on his knees, staring right into his eyes. “Yes. I brought you here, I've put you in this horrible situation. I know you'll resent me my whole life. Believe me, I will too. But I don't want you to fight for the rest of your life anymore and I don't want you to fight for mine either,” he says, lowering his voice. “Levi… Everything I told you on that island is true. And if you fight with me we can save our own from the same fate your friends went through.”

Levi swallows. He never told Isabel and Farlan what Erwin told him. About titans being people, about Marley using them as war assets. He's glad he didn't. He's glad they went down without knowing all the crap that might have happened to them. At least they aren't brainless creatures running amok.

Erwin is certain in his words. Levi was surprised to hear his true intentions. Selfless and dangerous. Delusional. A kid cannot take down a whole army. He cannot change history.

“Levi,” Erwin calls his name softly. “Please don't forget who our enemy is,” he says, standing up.

“Erwin.” The name comes out easily. He hasn't said his name out loud that much, it feels weird. He opens his hand to reveal the trinket he's still holding. His skin stings around the pointy ends that have left red marks. “Thank you for this.”

Erwin looks at his hand, then at him. He doesn't blink, he doesn't flinch, he just nods. 

“Hide it,” he says.

Chapter Text

There are some new faces down the corridors this time and they look at Levi bitterly. They are cleaning, too, and their jackets and armbands are hanging by the wall. 

Erwin and Levi do the bathrooms and the bedrooms. After lunch, they do the kitchen. In the afternoon, they have to do the main deck, but they are not alone there because it's gigantic. It's also quite frightening. There's nothing but water around them, Levi cannot see anything other than the ocean and sky. It's clear and blue, blue all around him and it makes him sick. He stays away from the edges and stares down to the floor to feel somewhat safer. He misses the ground, the grass, the cold dirt; he barely had any time to enjoy those.

They don't talk to each other, Erwin looks constantly embarrassed, afraid to engage, guilty and just plain pitiful. Nobody else in the ship engages with Levi either and Wald mutters something under his breath while passing by him in corridors; Levi couldn't care less. That guy looks like only a beating will put him in his place, and that's not Levi's job.

After dinner, they scrub the showers and Erwin finally addresses him.

“For hot water, the kitchen is always available,” he explains out of nowhere. “I'm saying this so you don't… so you can get your own kettle.”

“You didn't get me a strainer.”

Erwin stops scrubbing and looks at him. “A strainer?”

“To strain the tea.”

“Yes… I… didn't notice,” he says, getting back to the job at hand. “I'm not sure they have small strainers such as for tea. Would a filter work?”

“What kind?”

“Cloth, I believe. I'm sorry, I'm not sure what kind. A coffee filter,” he says.

“What's that?”

“You don't have coffee, I think,” he explains, stopping again and Levi looks at him, offering a curt shrug. “I... At first, I believed I missed it or that… it might have to do with status.”

“What is it?”

“It's a drink similar to… no, it's nothing like tea. It's made from ground seeds, not leaves. Maybe you'll like it,” he says and goes back to scrubbing for only a second before saying, “No, I don't think you'll like it.”

“The food is shit.”

“Yes, I'm afraid the food here is bad. The cooks are inexperienced. It gets a bit better in Marley.”

“I'd rather have maggots again.”

“Did you… eat those?”

Levi stops, scrunching his nose and looking at Erwin. “No,” he spits out, what the fuck, and gets back to work. “We cooked our own stuff.” He feels it coming all over again, his eyes getting watery, his throat thick. Fuck. Just like every time he recalled his friends today and the day before.

“I saw you,” Erwin says, “taking food to the school.”

Levi clears his throat. “We baked bread.” His voice is short, snippy.

He had noticed Erwin staring at him. He had noticed Erwin the first time he showed up down there. Undeniably new to the underground city, lost, awkward.

“You can't learn anything on an empty stomach. Iz took classes, and we brewed tea.”

Erwin looked so stupid and insecure that Levi let it go to his head. That and the big bounty he meant, the big bag of coins in his small tight shirt. Levi wanted to kill him; Farlan wanted to know what he was trying to achieve.

“That was very kind of you. I wasn't expecting to find so few schools there.”

“Just the one,” Levi answers.

“Reading is the best thing a kid can learn, and you can only learn that in school.”

Iz loved reading, and she would read to Levi at night before going to bed. She helped him read some as well. They found it useful to steal mail after a few months and learn what their targets were up to. He can't disagree with Erwin on this one. It was important to learn that.

“My father is a teacher in the only school where I live,” Erwin says. “He taught us how to write too. I still love doing both to this day, I don't think I… would've… come here at all if I hadn't learned all that. I'm sorry, I digress.”

Levi doesn't know if he means Paradis or the military.

Erwin gets up with a groan and takes the bucket to the other corner. His legs are covered with light blond hair, unlike his chest where he's still hurt. Fading bruises; green and purplish spots inking the skin. He's scrawny but has what Levi might call a military body, someone who trains daily. They are both stripped to their underwear since that is the best way to clean this mess, so it’s hard not to look at each other's half-naked bodies. Levi has caught Erwin looking too.

When they are done, they shower and dress up. Levi would like to know who's in charge of the laundry because they do such a shitty job. It might not be their fault if they are given lousy soap, but they are still bad at rinsing and Levi's not sure what that stain on the elbow of his shirt is. At least with the jacket on he doesn't have to stare at it.

They don't say goodbye when they part ways as Levi walks to the kitchen to heat some water. He looks everywhere, but there's no sign of a strainer in any shape or form. Other soldiers chatting on the tables nearby look at him but he pays no mind.

He stands on a chair to look into the upper cupboards, but there are mostly pots, plates, glasses, and bowls, jars filled with hideous stuff that he assumes is food. He wonders what it is they use to make that awful mushy shit they have for breakfast. He doesn't understand why they don't just boil a potato for lunch.

He moves the chair a bit more and keeps digging until he stumbles upon a couple of cups. It's not a tea set and there are no saucers but they are interesting ceramic cups, very soft to the touch and in different shades of brown. Levi takes one for himself and gets down. Erwin is right on the other side of the counter.

“Any luck?” He asks. He's trying so hard to pretend everything is alright. To atone for every one of his stupid mistakes and shitty decisions.

“No,” Levi breathes out, moving to wash his new acquisition in the sink. He loves running water so much and they don't even need to pump it.

Erwin walks around the counter for a glass. Levi watches him over the shoulder as he pours water from a glass bottle. 

“Do you want a cloth filter?” He asks Levi. 

“Yeah.”

Levi moves to turn the stove off and watches Erwin kneeling and getting his hand far into a cupboard.

“Here,” he says, moving away. A flock of hair is over his eye and he brushes it away. “It's clean. I'd say keep it so they don't use it for coffee,” he explains, putting it over the counter.

“Thanks.”

It's a cloth strainer basically. Levi presumes that it will take long for the leaves to filter but he puts them in the water anyway.

“Want some?” He asks Erwin, because why else would the guy still be here? He's trying so hard that it's annoying.

“I… is that alright with you?” he asks and Levi shoots daggers at him. “Yes… Yes, please, if it's no trouble. You know that tea is a rarity now. I've noticed.” The bruises on his face make him look like a dork with that hairdo so much that Levi almost forgets how much he would like to punch him again.

Levi hovers over the steamy water to smell the aromas and breathes it in.

“Not only are they grown in different lands but they cannot be obtained elsewhere. “

Levi doesn't see anything special in that, but he's afraid he might not get any tea where they are going. He walks again to the high cupboard with a chair to get another cup.

“It would be interesting to see if you'd notice the difference with Marleyan tea,” Erwin says, answering Levi's fears, or maybe growing some new ones. “I wouldn't be able to tell. I could never tell the difference between the different types of coffee beans.”

“You said it was seeds,” Levi says, getting down.

Erwin looks at him and there's a little smile, Levi doesn't know why. He walks to the sink.

“Yes… They are mistakenly called beans. Or purposely, in fact. They resemble beans,” he explains. “But they are seeds from a plant.”

Levi shakes the cup to remove as much water as possible because he wants to avoid using the rags around him and stands in front of the kettle. He pours tea into his cup until it's half full and carefully moves the filter to the other cup.

“Does it work?” Erwin asks, making never-ending conversations easily. “The filter.”

“Mhm.” He doesn't want to indulge Erwin with attention but the truth is that he hasn't spiralled or fretted during this whole time where Erwin talked on end.

Levi pushes the cup towards him and lifts his own. It's nice to drink from an actual cup, even if it's too tall to be a teacup. At least it's not tin.

He takes the kettle and walks away, sparing a look at Erwin who gets the cue and quickly moves behind him. Levi doesn't want to spend time on his own, and if Erwin always has something to say, they might as well have tea together for a while.

They cross a corridor avoiding everyone else's piercing gaze. He wonders if they hate him because of where he's from or because of where he sleeps. He wonders if he will have to share a bedroom in the end.

Erwin closes the door behind him and stands there until Levi sits down before doing it himself. He's mentioned they will be on this ship for at least seven days if everything goes well. Levi doesn't know what could go wrong but he doesn't think the tea would last that long.

The faint memory of Farlan rolling his eyes after leaving Trost comes to him. From all the things Levi could've taken, he had decided to snatch some tea. Farlan said he was sure Levi would do that because it had already been two days of him not drinking tea. He used to say Levi was an addict, that he would inject it right into his veins if he could.

Unfortunately, Erwin isn't talking anymore and it doesn't help Levi stop his line of thought as his eyesight gets blurry with tears. Farlan liked saying he learnt a lot from Levi but it was the other way around; Levi would've forgotten how to be human if it wasn't for him.

If Farlan was here, he'd be making friends, just like he did with Mike. He'd find a way to make Levi feel like this trip was worth something. He'd understand Erwin's goal and provide insight. Levi can't do that, he can't do anything Farlan did. All he knows is fighting. Fighting and seeing everyone around him die before him. 

Levi clears his throat. “I'm keeping these cups,” he says because anything is better than this silence.

“All… alright,” Erwin answers, looking at Levi, then back at his tea. “Please… please hide them. Even if our superiors might have forgotten their existence, they wouldn't want a devil to keep them.”

Levi huffs. “Devil,” he echoes. 

“They… those words convey a purpose. It's easier for people to hate you. For you to hate yourself too.”

Silence overcomes them again as they sip their tea and Levi can't handle it. It's like a void, like pressure trying to crush his skull. He falls with his forehead on the table and grumbles.

“Talk,” he pleads.

“Talk?” Erwin asks.

“Yes, just… fucking talk,” he says, feeling the steel from the table cooling his brain. “You always have shit to say, so fucking say shit,” Levi spits out.

“I… I don't think I'm particularly known for talking.”

Levi has a hard time believing that.

“I prefer silence. I like reading and writing and mostly do that in silence. Or… with music maybe. I've gotten used to doing it with music since my general likes playing it in his office.”

Levi lifts his head. “What does he play?”

Erwin frowns. “No, sorry. Just the… gramophone.”

“The fuck is that?”

“A… it's… I could swear I saw these in Paradis. It's a… big… apparatus, so to speak, that plays music.”

“Like a big fucking horn?”

“Yes,” Erwin answers, huffing a laugh.

“Yeah, I've seen them. So he doesn't play an instrument.”

“No, I figured I didn’t explain myself correctly. I can't imagine General Magath playing an instrument,” he says, huffing a laugh. “He's a nice man, but he doesn't strike you as someone who does things for fun.”

“He the type of nice man that calls you devil?” Levi asks.

Erwin looks up from his cup and his smile goes away. “Yes… Yes, he is.”

“How nice of him.”

Erwin looks away now, holding his cup between his hands. It must be empty just like Levi's so he pours them some more.

“Thank you,” Erwin mumbles. “When you live like this,” he says and lets out a deep sigh. “You forget what everyone is really like. Because… if you forget your place, then…”

“They do it on purpose,” Levi drawls. “My… the guy that trained me when I was a kid. His name was Kenny. Maybe it still is, the fuck knows, but he told me people would only respect me if I was strong. Weak people die. Strong people survive.”

Levi doesn’t know why he keeps spiralling so far back, but after unearthing everything from his childhood back on the beach, memories of Kenny keep resurfacing. His pointy nose and chin and how badly he smelled, like cigarettes and sweat, all the time. He was tall, the tallest man Levi’s ever met and he would hit hard, harder than anyone else that ever tried. He never pitied Levi, he never treated him like a child, least of all like a son.

“That's… very harsh to say to a kid but… certainly only strong people survive the Underground.”

“Everyone in this boat looks weak,” Levi spits out. “And sick.”

“Sick… how?”

“Back in the Underground… some people looked like that. They were the easy targets. The ones that fear losing what they had and so it was easier to take it from them because they had nothing else. They couldn't defend themselves and they had no one that would stand up for them either. It's shit. They live like shit.”

Erwin looks at him quizzically and Levi knows he made no sense. He's not sure what he was getting at anyway.

Iz didn’t look like that after they got out from the Underground, neither did Farlan. Being outside had brought a light to them, hope maybe. Levi easily pictures their faces and smiles, letting anguish rise up his throat until the image of their dead bodies falling flat to the ground engulfs him. He can’t escape them. He wants to remember them dreaming of a better life, he doesn’t want to think about Iz’s limp legs drenched in blood, or Kenny’s yellow teeth, or Erwin’s bruised nose. 

He can’t escape them.

“Someone needs to fight for those who can't defend themselves,” Erwin finally says. “The people in those internment zones… have lost their strength.” He takes a big gulp of tea. “When we get to Marley just say that… you’ve never heard the story. It’s better if you learn it from their lips just like they want you to know it. To avoid… mixing up.”

Levi nods and sips. “Talk about something else then,” he says. “But talk.” It's pitiful and embarrassing to turn to Erwin of all people for company, for comfort. It's sad to be reminded over and over again that Levi has no one else. That he's all by himself yet once again.

Erwin obliges and immediately starts talking about how much he misses writing and all the things he wants to write about, how interesting it was for him to find that in Paradis they speak the same language, and how similar their writing form is, only a bit more complex. He expresses his curiosity to know what they will let him write about and what they won’t, and how he also knows what he will certainly not share. Levi finds out the guy has been writing a book in his head for so long now that he almost knows it by heart and just needs a chance to put it down. None of the soldiers on the ship writes so Erwin needs an officer's permission for paper and ink.

He has a lot to say about books and Levi’s impressed he’s ever had so many at hand. Levi only read those from Iz’s school and they were all small and short. Erwin has read books with over two hundred pages. He has so much to say about books that he stops himself at one point because he says it’s late and that they should get some sleep. Levi gets up and washes the cups in his sink after Erwin walks out.

He doesn’t sleep at all. He sits on the floor against the wall and listens to the noises of the ship. There’s a constant humming that makes him furious and he’d like to go out and find the source to silence it, but encountering any other person out there could end badly. Levi’s ready to punch the guts of anyone who dares to cross him, and it seems as though everyone on this ship might want to do that to him as well. Even if it’s after hours and they should be sleeping, Levi knows there are night watch guards and those don’t even wear an armband, which means they hate Levi the most. 

He wonders why Erwin left and why he cares. Erwin's the enemy as much as anyone around here. Levi thought for a second that talking about stupid stuff like Erwin does all day would at least shed this fear of being alone but it seems nothing is enough. Besides, Erwin’s not interested in helping him; he’s just interested in Levi providing what he promised he would. 

There’s a heavy thud outside his door at one point, followed by shrill screaming, then someone yelling to get up. Levi peels his face off his knees and has a hard time stretching his legs. He’s not sure if he slept at all or for how long he’s been crouching on the floor.

He gets up in a daze and smacks his lips. When he walks to open the door and peeks through the corridors he can only see soldiers walking through in silence. Erwin is nowhere to be found for some reason, he didn’t come to wake Levi up like he did the day before. 

Chills go down his spine as he yawns, closing the door to avoid the wave of soldiers that are going to get breakfast. He's not normally hungry, especially not for coffee, awful scrambled eggs, and bread.

He's not sure what he's going to do about their duties, their jobs around the ship. Erwin has been guiding him where he needed to go and went along with him too. Levi, for his part, doesn't even know what time it is or what time they are supposed to move.

So he stays in the room and crawls onto the bed, lying on his side and waiting once again for time to go by. 

Sometimes he still thinks Farlan might come to wake him up and pester him for sleeping sitting down. He would sit by his side and hold Levi in his arms to let him sleep a bit more. It's not easy to sleep in the Underground; it's always dark and it makes people constantly tired, but when they try to sleep, rest doesn't come. It feels hot and tight and somehow everyone always hopes that the dark ceiling will get brighter.

Thinking about Farlan embracing him in his warm arms makes Levi feel somewhat better, almost like he’s floating. Isabel would join sometimes too. They said that group hugs have always helped Levi calm down, especially after feeling pent up because someone tried to take them for fools. It was normal at first for no one to take them seriously, two boys and a little kid getting into shady business, attempting to defend someone from getting robbed. But the truth is that no one could ever go against the three of them and Levi beat them up in the blink of an eye. It wasn't long until people started running away at the first sight of the trio and that's when they started running their own little business, sneaking up into other criminals' deals and taking the money and goods for themselves.

Levi knew it was a bad idea to mess with stuff like that but it worked. It worked long enough until fucking Erwin showed up.

“Levi?”

“Shit!” Levi exclaims, startled by Erwin's hand on his shoulder.

“You overslept.”

“No, I didn't,” Levi grouses, rubbing his eyes as he sits back up.

“You weren't at breakfast.”

“I didn't want any.” Levi wonders how Erwin could tell, and why he didn't come to pick him up if he supposedly cared so much.

“You can't miss breakfast, Levi. You need the energy to work throughout the day,” Erwin says. He's so smug about having everything sorted out, it's infuriating. 

“I've been filling reports,” he goes on explaining. “They are finally letting me do the paperwork for what took place on the island, so I won't be around. You've got corridor duty, then lunch, then deck. Please don't miss them, we don't want to draw attention to us.”

Levi looks at him. He'd like to punch him. He's mad because Erwin pretended to keep him company only to abandon him for paperwork. It's embarrassing to have fallen for it. He's dirt.

“Promise me, Levi,” Erwin says, kneeling and forcing their eyes to meet. “You'll get work done and keep a low profile, yes?”

There's no answer and Erwin gets back up letting out a deep sigh.

“See you in the evening,” he says and walks away.

Levi pulls from his hair and clenches his teeth, squirming in bed until his body aches and only then does he get up. He takes off his jacket and walks out, joining the group that’s cleaning the corridors.

He couldn't say he hates cleaning duty as much as he misses not being under the command of stupid assholes that have never shown their faces. It at least gives him something to do. Levi’s nothing without a purpose, just like he was nothing when his mother died and when Kenny walked away. Being Farlan’s partner gave him a purpose again. Taking care of Iz did too. But he went back to square one. Now he cleans the floor of an ugly ship, slimy from being constantly wet and sometimes filled with other soldiers' vomit. At least there’s no dust around, that always makes his nose itchy. 

A guard walks up to him to spew some shit for not wearing an armband though, and that takes him out of his mindset. He might enjoy having something to do but he doesn't appreciate stupid rules just for the sake of it, just to make him feel less. The asshole even insults him all the way to his room until he gets the armband back on and tells him he’s living like a prince in his own little bedroom, that he should be sleeping in the deck to learn what a real soldier is built like.

Erwin doesn't show up for lunch which makes Levi even more furious. He knows nobody else, Mike won’t say a word to him either, and Wald only mutters things as he walks by. The rest talk to each other while they stare at him and he’s not allowed to leave because the guard at the door tells him to sit there until his plate is clean. Soldier duty is bullshit, Levi's sure of it. He’s sure that’s not how the military works in Paradis at all. Even the MP sounds like a better place than this and Levi would’ve never imagined he would think something like that.

By the time he’s done, he feels sick to his stomach. It’s awful, not only because it’s nasty and the ship is swaying but because he’s not used to eating so much.

He walks straight to the deck and throws up overboard, watching his vomit stick to the side of the ship. He uses his handkerchief to clean his nose and spits. He needs a glass of water; he craves a hot cup of tea but he has fucking deck duty.

When he turns around, he finds that there are way too many soldiers. More than necessary for deck duty. But they are not here to work, they are here on Levi duty, apparently.

He only recognizes Wald, standing there on the side, looking at him like he’s garbage, just like the rest of them. A tall, skinny brunette is right in the middle, leading. Arms crossed and a lot of hate in the eyes. 

Levi’s been jumped before, this is not news. No matter where he moves, they will attack him. He can try to reason with them but there’s no point; it’s just a question of who throws the first punch. So he does it. 

He goes straight for the stupid tall guy who is bent in half as soon as Levi’s fist finds his stomach; he’s fast and strong enough to hit a few jaws and kick a couple of legs before he’s overpowered. There are too many of them and even if he could try and fight harder, being kicked in the head and in the back actually appeases him. The pain shuts off everything else in his mind and so he lets it happen. He doesn’t know for how long he’s thrown around but everyone seems impressed by how much he can take and how hard his bones seem to feel. He can almost hear a few knuckles breaking against his arms. These kids are so weak they can’t even throw a proper punch. 

Only when everyone moves away does he hear someone screaming. They are probably being scolded for doing this, but Levi could’ve taken some more. He’s hot, too hot. His whole body is on fire and he can barely move. All he can think of is that he’s been left alone on the deck under the skies and surrounded by ocean but he’s not cold at all and so he lies there, trying to turn on his back but he’s not sure what for. What’s the purpose of getting up at all?

Someone kneels next to him, and a strong whiff of cigarette smoke suddenly hits his face. He thinks of Kenny.

“Levi?” the voice calls. “Levi, can you get up? Can you hear me?”

Levi spits. He’s not sure if it’s vomit or blood, he can’t taste anything, but he realises that it’s Erwin who stinks of cigarettes.

“Come here,” Erwin says. 

Erwin forces one of Levi’s arms around his neck and helps him up. Levi can stand just fine, but when he tries to put weight on his feet, he feels a sudden twinge on his back, a quick, sharp pang that shoots through his spine and makes him growl.

The guard that’s been pestering Levi since morning is still at it. Only this time Levi can barely understand what he’s saying; he can only listen to Erwin being complacent and abiding by everything he says. 

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir,” Erwin answers sternly. “I’m dealing with this right now, sir,” he adds, helping Levi through the corridors.

Erwin doesn’t smell familiar, and that throws him off. He tries to get his face closer to him but he stinks. His sweat is usually not annoying, but now he doesn’t smell like himself at all; being in pain and smelling cigarettes is almost too familiar.

After going down the third set of stairs, Levi dares to open his eyes a bit wider, noticing they are reaching his room.

“You should’ve…” Levi’s voice is hoarse as they step inside.

“Levi?”

“...let them… kick my ass some more,” Levi finally says as Erwin places him on the bed. 

“Damn, Levi, can you listen to me? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't there. They just told me you were unconscious on the floor.”

“‘M fine.” 

“You’re not, Levi. There’s blood in your eyes and on your lip. I don’t think I’ve seen you bleed before.”

Levi huffs. Erwin really thought he was superhuman or something. He’s ridiculous, living in that fantasy world of his.

He undoes Levi’s belt and asks him to turn around to lift his shirt and look at his back. Levi lets him because it’s a nice contrast to being punched and kicked. Erwin’s hands are soft and warm and all focused on him, going through his neck and hair like Levi’. He also softly puts pressure on Levi’s legs and asks if it hurts. It doesn’t.

“I don’t think anything is broken,” Erwin concludes, letting Levi turn on his back. “You can endure so much.”

Levi clicks his tongue, exasperated by Erwin’s words, but as soon as he stands up, Levi tightly grips on his clothes because he doesn't want him to leave. There’s no reason for him to stay but Levi wants him close, he doesn’t want to be alone; he’s always left alone. Only his mother was ever this kind and delicate to him to help him sleep, to help him stop crying. This is finally a feeling he doesn’t want to escape from.

“What can I get you?” Erwin asks.

“Talk,” he pleads. Stay, he thinks.

“Levi… I c—I… have a lot of work to do.”

Levi’s hold gets tighter as he pulls from Erwin’s sleeve. If he’s alone he’s back to hurting, and not just his body.

“Let me… get you some water. I’ll be right back, ok? I promise,” Erwin says softly, forcing Levi’s hand to let go.

He’s lying. Erwin’s lying because there’s a perfectly working faucet right behind him and there’s no need for him to leave at all. Levi would like to complain, he’d like to crawl into a little ball but he can’t. He’s out of breath and when he finally manages to relax his jaw, he notices how much his gums hurt. He doesn't trust Erwin will come back because nobody ever comes back. Yet, deep inside, he knows Erwin just showed up because he was asked to take care of the garbage he brought onto this ship. He’s responsible for Levi even if all he wants now is to be rid of him.

The physical anguish overpowers the mental one, taking his mind away from his loss and only into the stinging sensation in his lower back and behind his ears. He wonders what Erwin meant when he said there was blood in his eyes because he can’t see anything when he touches it. There’s no blood anywhere at all and the one in his lip is already drying.

His nails are dirty though, disgustingly dirty, and so are all his clothes. He hates being on his bed in such a state. He even has his boots on, so he at least turns on his elbow to sit up and undoes them. The whole room spins around him and he has to lie back down to make it stop. He lifts his knee up to get to the sole of his boot and digs his nail on the heel to take Iz’s trinket out of it. He’s made a little hole with a kitchen knife right there, making it easy to hide something as small as a hanging charm. He only hopes they don’t take the boots away from him as he holds the trinket tight inside his fist.

Just when the pictures of Kenny walking away try to clog his mind, Erwin steps back into the room with a bag hanging across his chest.

“I’m back,” he says, breathy, and pushes the door close with his back. “I managed to get a first aid kit and—” He leaves his bag on the table and opens it— “I got my paperwork here. I’ll keep you company while you heal.”

Levi squints, looking at Erwin taking all sorts of things out of the bag. Papers and boxes of all different sizes.

“Water,” Levi points out.

“Right!” Erwin exclaims, slapping his forehead. “I forgot. Wait, where are you keeping the mugs?”

“The dresser.”

Erwin turns around and opens the first drawer, but they are not there. He keeps rummaging until he finds the mugs and takes one to the faucet, quickly walking towards Levi and kneeling next to the bed.

“Can you sit up?” he asks.

Levi nods and leans on an elbow, but doesn't go all the way up for fear of getting dizzy again. He takes the mug and drinks slowly as Erwin places the backs of his fingers against Levi’s forehead. It feels cold and relaxing.

“Thanks,” Levi manages, as he gives the mug back and lies on the bed again.

“You've got a fever again,” Erwin says, leaving the mug on the floor and sitting next to him. He still stinks.

“I told you it was the ship.”

“I’ve never heard of this,” Erwin says. “Are you nauseous?”

“I threw up my lunch.”

“Seasickness itself does not typically cause fever,” he explains. “I don’t understand.”

“Stop trying to understand everything.”

Erwin huffs a laugh. “What am I if I don’t try to understand what’s around me?” he asks and Levi doesn't understand what that means.

He gets up, forcing Levi to hold the urge to get a grip on him, but comes back quickly after getting one of the boxes from the table. He sits back and opens it to take something out of it.

“Can I—can you… We should put something on your wounds. Could you open your shirt?” he asks. 

“Why,” Levi asks but he obliges. He's too tired to fight.

“I need to make sure they don’t get infected.”

Levi stays there, staring at Erwin’s face as he inspects his body. After turning him around again and getting up, Erwin brings a clean wet cloth and cleans his wounds, putting some sort of antiseptic on them. It stings, but Erwin slowly blows his cold breath on them to ease the uncomfortable sensation.

“Does it hurt somewhere in particular?” he asks.

Levi can’t tell so he just shakes his head. “My whole… torso,” he decides, just so that Erwin doesn’t take his hands away.

He presses his fingers onto Levi’s ribs, his stomach, his chest, asking if it hurts but it doesn’t, not particularly. He puts pressure around Levi’s neck and then turns him around, testing his back, and his waist. He doesn’t stop there. He helps Levi out of his shirt and checks his arms, finding new wounds to clean and disinfect before moving on to the next one. He notices Levi holding tight to Iz’s trinket and says nothing. Everything just makes Levi fear the moment Erwin will stop tending to him, the moment his pain will go away and so will Erwin, leaving him on his own again. But Erwin doesn’t leave for now. He takes Levi’s boots off and covers him under a blanket, then sits by his side and touches his forehead, saying again how weird it is that he has a fever and what might be causing it. He suggests it might be the food because it’s so different from what Levi’s used to eat. He says it could also be stress-related, but he discards seasickness and sounds very confident about it.

Levi falls asleep to Erwin’s voice as he talks on and on about the times he got a fever when he was a child and wakes up to Erwin sitting down on the table jotting something down. He’s not using a quill but that fact is no longer interesting, Levi’s found everything is too different between their worlds so he’s only surprised when things are similar.

Erwin looks at Levi as soon as he moves and gets up to check on him. The cold back of his fingers pressed against his forehead is a relief and Levi lets out a deep sigh.

“You look so much better already,” Erwin says, softly grazing the scar on Levi’s lip with his thumb. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

Erwin huffs a laugh. “You said the exact same thing when I found you on the floor. Let me look at your back.”

Levi turns around and lets Erwin pull the cover away. The air is chilling and he shivers but Erwin’s hands are delicate even when calloused.

He gets up from the bed quickly and Levi turns to look at him. When Erwin gets back Levi stops him, holding his wrists.

“Why are you helping me?” he asks because Erwin is not his mother. He has no responsibility, just ulterior motives and none of those include nursing him back to health.

“Why? Why wouldn’t I do it?”

“I’ve been holding on just fine.”

He huffs a laugh. “You're really strong. They beat you to bits.”

“And that’s funny to you.”

“Not at all,” Erwin says. “I couldn't bear watching you on the floor like that. But... you're so strong you're barely hurt. I'm… surprised.” 

Levi turns around again, offering his back so that Erwin spreads ointment on it. He does it as gently as he's done thus far. Farlan wouldn't be delicate like this, even if they hugged, even if they shared a lot, Levi was never touched so carefully. If Farlan helped him with a wound he would just give Levi the things to care for himself. He'd go the extra mile to go and get whatever they needed, but he wouldn't clean his wound gently or offer to put ointment on him.

“What the fuck are these boots made of,” Levi mutters, pointing at a scratch on his elbow, offering his arm so as not to give Erwin the chance to stop what he's doing.

“I can't believe they did this to you.”

Levi clicks his tongue, lying on his back. “Nobody likes a new face, a foreigner. I'm different, I'm quiet. Unfriendly. If I'm not an asshole like them or get on my knees for them then I'm the enemy. It's that simple.”

“It's not right,” Erwin answers softly, frowning, holding Levi's forearm with one hand and spreading ointment with the other.

“They don't give a single fuck, Erwin. They are mad and they took it out on me. That’s it.”

“That is precisely what is not right, Levi,” Erwin tells him. His tone has changed. He puts Levi's arm down and stares, making him uncomfortable. 

“They've put us against each other,” he whispers. “It's awful—it's… sad.” Erwin takes more ointment with his fingers and proceeds to spread it on Levi's stomach and sides. “Gerst was there when I got to the deck,” he explains, looking for more places to apply the cream. “He probably watched it all,” Erwin says, applying it on Levi's busted lip. “They let us kill one another.” He moves away quickly and looks elsewhere. “I'm sorry, I digress.”

Levi sits up rapidly. “Is my… fever still bad?” He asks, feeling like a baby asking for attention. He’s a grown-up, a criminal, a killer, and he’s begging for attention like he has the right. Like he isn’t alive for mere luck while his only friends are dead.

Erwin reaches with his fingers to touch Levi’s forehead just as delicately as before. The cold fingers and soft pressure make his eyes heavy, making him wonder how much he can keep getting away with it, how much can he make this moment stay in time before the pain gets back.

”No,” Erwin answers, slightly shaking his head. “I think it's just…” he trails off, frowning. “I don't know. But you'll be alright.”

Silence finally sinks in as they sit close to each other, staring at nothing.

“I need to get back to work,” Erwin tells him. He leans with his elbows on his knees and rubs his neck.

“Get us hot water,” Levi says, getting his attention. “I'll pour us some tea.”

“You need rest.”

“You've wasted time on my wounds. I'll help you focus on your… writing.”

“I still need to clean the showers. We've already missed dinner.”

“Fine. Let's do the showers, and then we do the tea.”

There's a soft smile rising on Erwin's lips. “Sure. Let's do that,” he says, getting up. “But… just… know that… It wasn't a waste of time, Levi. If you let me… I'll help you until you're completely recovered.”

Levi's been wondering what it is about Erwin that has convinced him over and over again every time Levi doubted himself. 

He's determined and stubborn, he puts himself and everyone around him at risk. But he's kind and caring. He's soft and delicate. 

He's confusing, is what he is. He's everything Levi's got at this point and that only means he will cast Levi aside soon enough.

Levi moves to put his boots back on. “You can stay,” he offers. “After I recover too.”

“I’m not sure,” he answers. “It would call too much attention. They might make you move out.”

“It’s too big for me,” Levi says with a curt shrug. “We either use it or get both kicked out, I don’t care.”

“All or nothing,” Erwin provides with a weird smirk on his face. “I like it.”

Chapter Text

Levi wakes up to Erwin scribbling by the table. He says he has already finished the paperwork since the officers would hate it if he's too detailed in his wording, but he's using the opportunity to write everything down whenever he can while it's fresh. Erwin has been going to Levi's room first thing in the morning to read everything he wrote down and write some more. Then, they go to breakfast. Work. Lunch. Work. Dinner. Work. Writing. It's been four days since he started doing that and Levi's been just staying there, sitting across from him, reading what he writes and telling him what he thinks about it, asking what some of the words mean, wondering who would ever be interested in reading them. He does it only from time to time to avoid interrupting Erwin, though, because when he grabs that… pen, he just doesn't stop. 

They've run out of tea at this point. The last ones they had were already very weak but Levi tried to use and even re-use as much as he could, something he hates doing. He tried some coffee for the first time but it's like drinking burnt water, if that's even a thing. Erwin drinks it anyway and Levi hates how much his breath stinks after that, in the mornings and the evenings. 

Levi still has trouble sleeping and only manages to drift off when Erwin's in the room, waking up as soon as he's not around. Sometimes, he thinks he can make out Farlan in the dark and the image is so clear that Levi believes he might still be around. He wonders if he is sometimes. If there's somewhere the dead go and if he's with Iz and their families there. Maybe Levi's mom is there too.

“You're awake,” Erwin tells him when he notices Levi turning on his side.

He hums.

“Seems like the weather will continue to be favourable,” Erwin says. “We managed to skirt a storm and it doesn't look like there are heavy clouds on the horizon which means we'll make it to Marley in approximately four days.”

Those are so many words to listen to so early.

Levi grumbles, turning around again. He's never seen a storm, he's not sure he would like to encounter one in the middle of the sea. Erwin says that waves get high and that the ship sways twice as much. It's been mostly hot and humid instead, not so different from the Underground if it wasn't for the fresh air.

“Are you coming for breakfast?”

“No,” Levi answers.

“I wrote quite a lot last night. I'd love to hear your opinion.”

“You know I'm slow.”

“You don't need to read it all,” Erwin says. He then adds tentatively, “You don't need to read at all.”

“I know.”

Erwin has mentioned he likes their rapport, he likes knowing Levi's view on things. Levi thinks Erwin does it so that he practices, especially since Levi shared how little he used to read in the Underground and how hard it all was.

Levi walks to the sink to splash some cold water on his face and rub his eyes. Erwin tells him he has healed significantly and that it surprises him. It has always been like that with Levi though, so he doesn't get the big deal. The lip scar is still there, it is the one that takes the longest to heal because Levi keeps licking it. The bruises on his leg and back have started to fade but the cuts on his arm and waist look like every other wound he’s ever had now, no scabs, just clear marks across his skin.

They sit in silence before one another, like they’ve been doing lately. Levi doesn't like being talked to in the mornings anyway. He likes peace and quiet and a hot cup of tea. At least he still has one of those two. Erwin talks a lot only when he’s not writing, which is during lunch and cleaning duty. Then, back in the room, he grows quiet. But Levi doesn’t mind anymore, the sound of the scribbling is relaxing and distracting. He likes watching the nib pressing against the paper and how it spreads open, spilling ink so carefully that it doesn't go anywhere Erwin doesn't want it to go. He’s quick but certain with every one of his strokes and he’s offered Levi to write down anything he might want to. Levi has no idea what to write about. He just likes making lines and circles and painting over them. 

When Erwin leaves for breakfast, Levi puts some things in order around him. Erwin somehow always goes back to previous pages he’s written and ends up creating a mess over the table. Levi likes piling them up together back into a little leather folder and putting the pen right next to it. 

He craves tea; he wants tea so badly that it is all he thinks about no matter what he’s doing. If he goes to bed, he thinks about how nice it’d be to take a sip. If he sits down on the table, he wishes he had a hot steamy cup to hold on to. When he’s scrubbing the floor, he remembers the shape and aromas from the leaves and pictures them floating inside a teapot. 

He even wishes he liked coffee at this point, at least he would have something nice to drink, something to appease his urges but there’s no point. Coffee is too bitter and too… burnt. It’s just as bad as a cigarette, it doesn't smell or taste good throughout and the aftertaste is even worse.

Isabel’s name is written on one of Erwin's papers and it calls Levi's attention. Erwin’s I’s are flourishing with all its elaborate looks and swirls. 

Levi hates concentrating on words but makes an effort, sitting down and holding the paper straight. 

Isabel is described as a young orphaned Eldian, skilled in fighting just like many other warriors from Marley would be at her age. Red-haired and approximately one point forty-five centimetres tall; underfed and trained to be a thief because of her lifestyle in such a hostile environment. According to Erwin, she had a basic school level but couldn’t do maths. She could read but could not write and she was as curious as any kid her age. Not a virgin—something Levi still finds odd because of how important this seems to be for people in Marley—and capable of defending herself but not aware of her own limits.

Levi sets the paper down and traces his finger over her name, drawing the lines. Erwin doesn't talk about her out loud but at least he writes about her. 

She was very fond of Erwin. She specifically told Levi not to kill Erwin, to look at his mannerisms, to listen to his words because he didn't sound like anyone they’d met before. She said there was no chance they couldn't get something good from him. And she wanted to be part of the adventure too, she was excited to get out of the Underground and do something else above. She liked thinking she could carry a book with her just like Erwin did and that he had promised that writing was easy.

It hurts to see Isabel reduced to a mere couple of words on a sheet of paper though. Superficial descriptions. She was funny and she was missing a tooth. She liked sleeping and was always cold. She didn't like tea so she would only have some if she could sprinkle sugar in it. Levi would give her a bad time whenever she did that but he was still happy to have some company. Someone to drink tea with.

Farlan's name is there too. An F just as swirly. A vain description of his persona follows. Erwin has mentioned how he wouldn’t be able to speak highly of any of them because they are devils in the end. It’d be interesting to know what Erwin truly thinks of them. If he noticed every one of their little perks or if they were just peons in his delusional plan. If all he cared about was taking Levi with him because of that silly little hunch that he might be part of a powerful ancestral family. If he enjoyed talking to Iz as much as she enjoyed talking to him.

Erwin comes back from breakfast pretty quickly. He doesn’t take long anymore. Not since he’s had the chance to lock himself in Levi’s room to write. He says Gerst has been asking questions about Levi’s fever, whether it's contagious, whether they're in danger. Erwin hasn't given him a straight answer, which only helped him stay away from the Sergeant whilst not losing the isolation that a private room provides.

They work and eat and work and clean and eat and scrub and shower; then, they are back to their room. It’d be Levi’s room but it has become the place both of them spend most of the time. Mike approaches Erwin sometimes in the corridors, some other soldiers do too but he still always ends up writing back in the room. It’s so clearly his hobby. And Levi likes the consistent routine they’ve fallen into. He likes it when things are certain and clear; he doesn’t like beating around the bush. He likes waking up and knowing what he’ll do next because when he doesn't have that then he’s prone to being caught off guard. And he cannot allow that. This way, he knows when to be on alert and when he can relax. He already felt anxious at that time Erwin decided not to show up to wake him up because of paperwork. Levi had too much to eat, threw up, and got beat up.

“They clean our uniforms with spit,” Levi hisses, taking his jacket off once they are back in the room after cleaning the showers.

He hates these clothes; he hates the stiff fabric, the awful smell, and the stupid armband. But the thing he hates the most is the awful plain black tie. He doesn't understand the purpose of it at all, it makes him feel like he’s out of breath. It’s useless, it’s ugly and he avoids using it entirely when he can but he enjoys watching Erwin putting his on. 

Besides, Levi prefers to wear the collar of his shirt upturned. He has lived in filth enough to also look hideous. 

“I’m sure they don’t,” Erwin answers, taking his jacket off as well. He’s always careful enough to remove the armband and put it back on.

“I should use the shower soap and clean it myself.”

“Then it won’t dry by the time you need it.”

“It’d smell better, ugh,” Levi exclaims, giving it another whiff. 

“It’d smell musty,” Erwin provides and Levi hates to know he’s right.

He just hates not having control over so much stuff. He wants to clean his own clothes and cook his own food. He doesn't understand how bad it’d be if he did that but Erwin has forbidden him from even trying, saying that would get them in trouble, so Levi just stays put.

That night, Erwin teaches Levi to sign paperwork. He stops what he’s doing and pulls a chair next to him, offering his pen. He suggests just writing his name but it looks horrible. Levi hates it. He likes how Erwin draws a fine, gentle line under his signature. Besides, Erwin writes his surname too. Levi doesn't have one, as much as Erwin insists otherwise. 

“Fuck this, I don't like it,” Levi spits out. 

“You're doing great,” Erwin says. “It's a matter of practice.”

“It's boring.”

Erwin chuckles. “It's not!” he exclaims. His teeth are so damn big. “Come on, give it another try.”

“No,” Levi answers sternly. “I want to write Isabel's name.”

Erwin’s smile falters at the request which wasn't Levi's intention at all. But it's clear he’s not used to dealing with death the way Levi is. Or maybe he's scared of it.

“I wanna write it like you do,” Levi tells him, giving the pen back. “Show me.”

“Umm… I…” Erwin takes the pen and leans over, closer to Levi to write instead of grabbing the paper sheet for himself. 

“She asked me if I could write one time,” he explains, doing a few swirls and finishing the I . 

Levi sees how the pen flows and how delicate his grip is. “She liked talking to you.”

“I enjoyed her questions,” Erwin says, writing her whole name.

Levi huffs. “She had a lot of those.”

“She said writing seemed hard. Though… using other words,” Erwin offers, smiling.

“I like the little things,” Levi says, pointing at the flourishing details. “Do Farlan now,” Levi requests.

Erwin obliges, writing down a very pretty capital F . “You don't have to… do it like I do,” he explains. “My father taught me other capital letters but I can't get them right. These are easier.”

Levi doubts that, he can't even imagine something harder.

When he gets the pen back, he attempts to copy Erwin’s handwriting, already regretting his decision because it is so much harder than just writing his name down. 

Erwin looks at him with a gentle smile, resting a cheek on his hand and offering feedback for every line Levi traces. He likes that, he enjoys being trained, having something new to learn. He likes that Erwin gives him all his attention even without a fever.

Levi writes Isabel and Farlan’s names on that sheet of paper until there is no more room left and then he starts writing them a bit smaller, to fill the remaining gaps. The result is a scribbled page that, in his opinion, looks pretty nice considering how messy his handwriting is. He holds it in his hands and stares at it. It looks good not because he writes well—he doesn't—but because the names are pretty all scribbled up like that.

“A work of art,” Erwin says. 

Levi disagrees, tilting his head.

“What are you going to do with it?”

Levi muses. “I once had this… wrestling poster. We used to sneak into fights, they were fun and our favourite fighter was this buff, huge guy. He was a great wrestler. I stole a small sign with him on it. I really liked looking at it so I kept it in my pocket. I think I'll keep it in my pocket.”

Only after Levi's done rambling does he notice Erwin is looking at him, eyes wide, lips pursed into a smile.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Erwin says. “I think your pocket is a good idea.”

They don't sleep at all that night because they spend it talking. In the end, Erwin is not scared to bring Levi's friends up in their conversation. Instead, he asks Levi all sorts of questions about them.

Levi tells him how he met Farlan by saving him from a deal that was going backwards. He would have been killed had Levi not been around to steal his loot. He ended up fighting a ton of thugs and helped Farlan run away with the money. They shared dinner that night and got drunk in a bar. They were barely thirteen.

Erwin doesn't understand how Levi isn't sure about his age. He can't grasp the idea that his mother never celebrated his birthday and that Kenny never took him to a doctor. Regardless, he did celebrate his birthday once and started telling everyone he was five.

“So he did know your birthday,” Erwin states.

“He made it up.”

“How can you tell? He might have been there when you were born.”

Levi lets out a deep sigh. “Stop it with the missing father bullshit.”

“He took care of you. He wouldn't have—”

“He beat me up too,” Levi blurts out. “He insulted me, treated me like shit. He used me as an errand boy. He sent me to kill for him. Then walked away… without saying a word. Do fathers do that?”

Erwin doesn't break eye contact. He listens and acknowledges Levi, nodding. “They don't. Some do, but it'd be fair not to be… not to feel related to them.”

“He ain't my father.” It’s hard to say it out loud when he feels the whole total opposite.

“I understand. I'm sorry.”

“Whatever,” Levi breathes out, holding the piece of paper with his friend's name on it. He decides to fold it in half. And then folds it again.

“Did you… keep celebrating your birthday with Farlan and Isabel?” Erwin asks.

“Yeah, they always enjoyed the excuse of a special occasion.”

“They were lucky to have you.”

“No,” Levi answers. “I was lucky to have them.” He puts the folded paper into his pants pockets.

“Did I… spoil our conversation?” Erwin asks.

“It's fine,” Levi says, finding the question stupidly endearing. “You've been talking my ear off since I hopped on this ship and this is gonna spoil it?”

“I don't know,” Erwin answers, huffing a laugh. “It's late and we should be sleeping.”

“Tell me… before you leave. I want to hear again what we'll do once we arrive.” The idea of being alone in this room is still unnerving and frightening. Erwin might think Levi's strong but he’s just as scared as a cornered rat.

“Once we… dock in Marley, we will probably have to unload the ship: our bags and the cargo, the sergeant's goods and all the clothes, the sheets and mattresses. Take them to the trucks. They'll drive us to headquarters where we'll unload again. I will personally take you to General Magath. And they will hopefully designate a room for you. As well as a task.”

“Is your room there too?”

“Yes, I'm on 201. That's the second floor; I share it with a friend of mine who will be excited to meet you, I bet. But I assume your room will be among the trainees’. Regardless, I will request the general to let you move into my place if that's fine with you.”

“Where's that?”

“Outside military grounds. My home. I live with my father but we can make room. Otherwise, I fear they might force you to live in the HQ. The internment zone isn't necessarily better but you'd at least be away from Marleyan soldiers.”

“What's your house like?” Levi asks, crossing his arms over the table and resting his face there.

“It's… small,” Erwin says, turning his chair to face Levi. “And the ceiling is filled with spiderwebs.”

“I can clean them,” Levi says with a curt shrug. He likes the idea of living in a normal house with an actual window to look up at the sky.

“My dad isn't a good cook either but we manage.”

“I can cook.”

Erwin chuckles. “You don't need to own your place there. You'll be an honoured guest.”

“I don't want to be an honoured guest,” Levi says, straightening back in his chair. “I want to earn the spot I'm sleeping in. “

“And I’m saying that you don't have to.”

“You’re spoiling the conversation,” Levi sneers, making Erwin let out a soft cackle.

“That’s unfair.”

“All I need is a bed, a window, and a broom.”

“Noted,” Erwin says with a curt nod. “I will probably move into my father’s bedroom so you can have your privacy.”

“What’s your father like?”

Erwin's eyebrows perk up and he looks away, smiling softly. “He’s nice. He’s a good man and he’s clever. The smartest man I know. He reads plenty… he talks even more,” he explains, rubbing his face. He’s tired and Levi’s keeping him up.

“Sounds just like you.” 

Erwin frowns, bushing his eyes fiercely this time. “No,” he says. “He’s good and patient. I’m... selfish.”

“You're tired,” Levi offers. “Go to bed, it's late.”

“I'm alright. I'd like to put down some ideas before leaving.”

“You're alright, my ass. You've been rubbing your eyes like a little baby. Go to bed,” Levi states, getting up. “I've made you waste your time with my nonsense. ”

“You didn't.”

“Yeah, you could've made progress instead.”

“Are you going to keep practising?”

Levi clicks his tongue and walks to his bed to avoid looking directly at Erwin’s big, blue, watery eyes. He sits there to take off his boots and watches Erwin get up from his seat with a deep sigh.

“Thank you for letting me stay here all these hours,” he tells Levi. “Good night. We’ll be home in the blink of an eye.”

Seven days ago

The night is chilly but not windy so they lie with their backs on the sand, looking up. It’s weird to feel uneasy when you know there’s no danger around you. Levi doesn't know how to feel comfortable or how to stay put. He doesn't know what this is. 

“It's not easy to explain in this context,” Erwin tells Isabel, “but I'll try my best. Each and every one of those stars in the sky is a sun, like ours. And there are planets, like ours, going around… then,” he chuckles. “My father would kill me if he heard me right now,” he mutters.

“With people?” She asks.

“Uh… umm… there's no way to know that.”

“That's bullshit,” Farlan says, sitting up. “How can you even know that?”

“From books.”

Farlan scoffs, disregarding him with a gesture of the hand. “So it's a story. Should've started there.”

“No.” Erwin chuckles. He's got a soft laugh and he laughs a lot, considering. “This is science,” he says, turning on his belly to look at Farlan. “Books are not only tales, there are also stories, real stories, facts.”

“How can you even know that's a sun?”

“We cannot. Not with just the naked eye—not just… by looking at it, I mean. Scientists use telescopes. Special devices.”

“So what's the point?” Levi asks.

“Excuse me?“

Levi can see him in the corner of his eye. “Why is that up there?”

Erwin frowns, pondering. “No… there's no point. It's just how it is.”

“But why?” Isabel asks and Levi's glad because he doesn't want to insist.

“We don't know. There's life on here by pure chance. Some call it a miracle, relying on a god. But the truth is that we don't know. A few years back, a new galaxy was spotted. Andromeda. So not only are we surrounded by millions and millions of suns, but there are billions more.”

Levi frowns and looks at his friends, just as confused as he is. Mike isn’t saying anything. There's no way to know if they are pulling their legs but they have been pretty convincing these past days. As little as they knew about Paradis, they seemed to know far more about what was outside. 

“The universe—” Erwin says, “the skies are infinite. You see it and it's dark but that darkness is filled with so much. And if Galileo was able to find nearby planets four hundred years ago, I can't imagine where we'll be a hundred years in the future.”

“You're so weird, blondie,” Isabel says, chuckling.

Erwin offers her a kind smile. “I promise I will show you all about it once we get to Marley. My father is far better at explaining it,” he says, lying on his back again. “He has maps and books and all kinds of visual aids that will help too.”

They remain lying on their backs and looking up at the sky. Levi doesn't want to seem friendly or interested; he doesn't want these boys to even think they have the upper hand in this. That Levi and his friends dance at the mere order to. They've already risked so much by coming here, to begin with. But Levi couldn't say no to Far and Iz; they wanted this. They think Erwin is trustworthy, different from his friend Wald. They think Erwin will make their lives interesting and they insist that they couldn't be in more shit than they already were anyway.

Erwin points at a light that shoots across the sky and Levi's heart almost beats out of his chest. Thankfully, Isabel screams so loudly that everyone laughs and even Levi feels a bit better. Erwin says it's called a shooting star and that's a fragment of rock falling down to earth. Levi's impressed by how beautiful the sky looks; by how dark and vast it is, so different from the limited darkness of the underground.

Mike starts talking about their free time as soldiers. He tells tales about them drinking and smoking things that make them dizzy. He tells Farlan he can join once he's enlisted. He tells Isabel that she's too young and she will probably hang out with girls.

She hates that, she doesn't like being around other girls or doing girly stuff so she fights him. It's probably an excuse to touch him too. Levi looks at how she sits up and pushes Mike's chest and then pulls from his arm. The boy is twice her size.

“How am I supposed to get lucky with all women around, huh?” she asks, leaning on her elbow.

“Jeez, kid. You're not even supposed to be getting lucky,” Mike tells her. He lets her play with his arm regardless.

Wald lets out a huff, calling everyone's attention. “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” he asks Mike.

“That's different,” he groans, sitting up to look at his friend.

“Why do you call it that?” Iz asks.

“It's… nothing.”

“So how old were you?” She insists.

“How old are you now?” Mike asks.

“Old enough.”

Mike pushes her forehead, making her stumble a bit. “I was fourteen,” he says. “And it was awful.”

“Why, she wasn't good?”

“She was a whore,” Wald says.

“Ain't nothing wrong with that.”

“I didn't like it,” Mike offers.

“No one did,” Wald agrees.

“What about you, blondie?” Farlan asks.

Levi is so embarrassed by this conversation.

“No one did,” Erwin echoes without moving his eyes away from the sky. 

“I like older women, don't get me wrong,” Wald says. “But she was old. You know?”

“Don't look at us,” Farlan answers. “We dig dick.”

“Fuck off, Farlan,” Levi breathes out. “The fuck do they care, stop talking.”

“The point is,” Erwin says, “that there are some things we aren't ready for. I don't think twelve-year-olds should be handling rifles and talking about war.”

“That’s what everybody does,” Wald tells him.

“And that’s my point. It’s normal and I don’t think it should be. You've seen Gabi.”

“She's bloodthirsty,” Mike says.

“Yeah, she's worse than you,” Wald tells Isabel.

“I don't know about that,” Mike says, looking at her. “Isabel's pretty deadly.”

“Yeah, I am,” she says, frowning deeply.

“She stabbed a guy's neck with a rock,” Levi offers. 

“What… the fuck?” Mike asks.

Levi's lying on his back, hoping to find more shooting stars and listening to Iz's smug laugh. “Bastard had it coming,” he adds.

“That's right, so don't mess with me.”

“I wouldn't dare,” Erwin says.

“You don't think I could punch that Gabi person now? Huh?”

“I think you two would make an amazing team, actually,” Erwin tells her.

“Gabi would never fraternise with devils,” Wald spits out. “She will be disgusted to know we're taking them home.”

“Quit it, Wald,” Mike chides.

“Everyone will be disgusted,” Wald insists. “We will be marginalised, even more so.”

“We get it, dude,” Farlan says.

“I hope you end up in jail.” Wald stands up, blowing sand on everyone's face.

They complain and insult him but nothing stops that asshole from being who he is.

“What the fuck is that guy's problem?” Isabel asks.

“I don't know,” Mike says. “He wasn't always like that.”

“He's always been like that,” Erwin corrects him.

“We used to get along but… I can't anymore. He's changed.”

“No, Mike. It's you. You changed.”

Now

Levi jolts awake and turns his neck to find nobody else in the room; it’s still dark outside. 

He wasn't planning on falling asleep. He didn't want to, especially not after they were told they would arrive at first light, but he was nodding off on his chair and Erwin insisted he should lie down.

Now, he’s awake and alone. The lights are off and the humming of the ship engulfs him. Levi sits up to rub his temples, feeling on edge. He stares at the door waiting for something, almost as if he’s waiting to be beaten up again. Something feels off though he cannot be sure because he’s been feeling sick daily from the swaying of the ship. It’s weird not to find Erwin in the room, even if he’s not usually around this late.

Levi takes a moment to gather himself, to listen beyond the usual sounds of the ship, and see if he can gather what’s happening outside the room. Right then, someone knocks loudly on the door.

“Report for duty, Ackerman!” a voice exclaims.

Where’s Erwin? Levi gets up reluctantly, following Erwin’s order not to bring too much attention to them and to do as they are told, but he’s growing tired. It’s too early for breakfast which can only mean they are getting closer to their destination, yet there’s no way to know that. Not without Erwin. So where is Erwin?

After putting on his boots, jacket, and armband, Levi leaves and only finds the rest of the soldiers after he goes up the stairs. They are moving from one way to the other, carrying bags and guns and clothes, not even sparing a look at Levi. He has no idea what to do so he keeps walking, looking for Erwin or at least an officer that would shout orders at him.

Once he gets to the deck, the humid morning air hits his lungs and leaves him out of breath. He sees stars on the horizon but they are yellow and he’s confused. Where’s Erwin? He steps aside and away from the soldiers to avoid getting knocked over and his stomach churns. Something is up and Levi cannot figure it out; soldiers must be planning to jump him, officers might have given the order to arrest him. He knows he should be on alert but can’t pinpoint where the danger is coming from or how to defend himself. And maybe it’s because he shouldn’t, he should lay low, follow orders and trust Erwin. Where’s Erwin?

Mike shows up behind him and Levi almost knocks him over the floor but manages to stop by just holding his arm.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Mike asks. “Get to work, we’ll be in Marley in two hours,” he explains, pointing at the yellow stars.

“That’s Marley?”

“Home sweet home,” he answers, throwing a bag on Levi’s arms. “Take this to the bridge, come back inside for more.”

“Where’s Erwin?” Levi manages as Mike walks away.

“Don’t know!” he exclaims without even looking back.

Levi grumbles but obliges. Erwin has expressed his trust towards Mike which is not the same one towards Wald. Besides, he has something he can get his hands on now. He walks inside the ship to get bags and walks out to pile them, he looks around and nobody looks back. 

Where’s Erwin? He might be in the sergeant’s office doing more paperwork, maybe cleaning the kitchens, or bathrooms, or bedrooms, but every time Levi walks back inside and tries to sneak into any of those places looking for him, he’s not there, so Levi picks up a new bag with clothes or box of clutter and walks back outside.

After getting in and out a couple of times, he notices the sky getting clearer and lighter. He can’t find the sun anywhere but Erwin has mentioned the sky will look blue even if the sun is not out yet. Levi can finally see Marley more clearly. There’s no beach to dock the boat and the houses look awfully weird, so close to the ocean; he finds orange clouds on the horizon.

Officers shout orders and soldiers are pushed to speed up, one of them is thrown to the floor and yelled at for being slow. Levi helps him up. 

Everyone knows what they are doing; this is clearly not their first time on a ship but they also have a methodical way to go about every one of their tasks which Levi assumes might come from training, since Erwin behaves very similarly. So Levi plays along, noticing how Wald is already sitting and not helping along with some other soldiers anymore.

By the time the sun is finally rising, the shore is clear and Levi can’t help but stare at the concrete pier, so similar to the walls from Paradis and the houses, so different. The closer they get the bigger everything grows and it reminds Levi of what it’s like to be down in the city as opposed to up in the walls. Distance makes everything look so different and he doesn't like that. When things are far away, they feel eerie.

“Ackerman!” an officer calls while other soldiers rush to unload the ship.

Levi looks at him through his periphery.

“Are you deaf, Ackerman?”

Levi turns to him and tilts his head, making the officer visibly angry. Soldiers move around them to bring down a runway to help things off the ship, just as Erwin said they would a few days ago.

“You’re getting off this ship first. Sergeant Gerst will escort you to the general's office,” he says— orders. “And fix your damn armband, it’s upside down.”

Levi frowns, finding the directive very out of place. At the same time, he wonders if he can manage to get himself a knife to stick it into Gerst’s neck, even if it goes against everything Erwin has said. And where’s Erwin?

 The officer has Levi follow his step right to the wooden bridge the soldiers have put up. Gerst is standing there, scrunching his lips as if the mere sight of Levi disgusts him. 

This is the first time the asshole dares to show his face, very well aware that Levi could kill him with his bare hands. But what he doesn't know is that what Levi desires the most is to dig a knife slowly through his skin and feel the warm blood dripping down his fingers, see the life slip out of him right in front of his eyes just like Levi did with every motherfucker that dared put a finger on his friends before. He has also thought about just plainly stabbing him consistently while he shrieks desperately on the floor. Either of those options would fill Levi with joy. But he won't get to do any of those now.

In fact, his chest is hollow and grim at the sight of Erwin behind Gerst. He's been beaten once again and he's been cuffed. His nose is bleeding and his hands are tied in front of his body. He looks at Levi for just a mere second to shake his head before looking straight back down to the floor.

No. He's saying no. Levi, don't act on it. Don't do anything out of place. Don't draw unwanted attention to us. Do as they say. Follow their rules. Play their game. Trust me.

Levi turns in place and faces the docks where more soldiers in a row are waiting. Erwin is escorted first by two officers who hold his shoulders tight. Once he’s down, they change his cuffs and tie his hands behind his back.

“Let’s go, slum rat,” Gerst seethes, stepping down the bridge.

There are no cuffs on Levi’s wrists, there are no officers behind his back, he could take the fat fuck with him down to the ocean and drown his ass, dying with him. But he won’t do that. He didn't come all this way and lost his friends to die a meaningless death just out of spite. He will let it rest. He will be patient, trusting Erwin's methods and promises. He will save this bite for last to really savour its taste.  

Chapter Text

Tybur's mansion is the most luxurious place Zeke has ever set foot in.

He stands in front of a grand bookcase that spreads across the reception, hands in his pockets. There are books in every language and about every topic, thick and thin and in so many different colours as well. He dares to lean in close to them and read their spines, enjoying the different colours and decorations on them. He wants to touch them but he knows Magath is staring so he won't cross that line. He'd like to take them out, in fact, give them a read, take them home. He can only dream.

They've been waiting here for quite some time already: Zeke, General Magath, and General Holstein. They are grumbling, probably offended by Lord Tybur's power move. They were invited and all they have done so far is sit there to drink tea and eat cookies. Zeke can't complain, he hasn't eaten cookies in years—and his grandmother’s cookies aren’t this good. They made him dress in his full brown dress uniform for this occasion: shirt, jacket and slacks, black tie and black boots, and red armband. He also shaved, so far he cannot grow a proper beard and it looks ridiculous to have short prickly blond hairs under his nose and across his chin.

The big double wooden door finally opens and a tall, gray-haired man appears. Alexander Tybur, the man who was thought to be in possession of the War Hammer Titan but he outlived both of his brothers and proved everyone wrong. He might have inherited by now; what else is there for him to do? Why put your children through that? No one can ever tell with this family though. They've done everything right, saved themselves from the horrible fate of Eldians while keeping their secrets well stored.

“Gentlemen!” He exclaims with open arms, “It's so nice to have you over.”

Magath gets up instantly and goes for a warm hug.

“Theo!” Tybur exclaims, kissing both of his cheeks. “It's been too long. You don't visit enough.”

“Only for work.”

“Yes, precisely.” Tybur proceeds to greet the other general in the room and leaves Zeke in last place.

“The mighty warrior,” he calls.

Zeke chuckles, faking it. “You embarrass me, my Lord.”

Tybur holds his arms and offers a kiss on the cheek too. Zeke hates his wet lips.

“Come, come,” Tybur says. “Levi is ready for you.”

Magath grumbles. “It’s been a risky move to take such a precious war prisoner from the government.”

“He’s no prisoner,” Tybur explains as they walk across a long, wide hallway. “The boy belongs to our lands as he’s not part of the Eldian disgrace. He belongs to a family with titan power.”

Zeke yawns and looks around, at the polished marble flooring, clean and shiny. He lets the warm glow of crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling overwhelm him, gold and cream. He gazes at the walls, adorned with a weirdly textured wallpaper. In every corner, there are intricately carved wood moldings that provide no other purpose than to make everything look even grander than they already are. He wonders if they were made by the hand of terribly skilled slave Eldians or if they hired someone from abroad.

“Are you marrying him to one of your daughters?”

“My god, Theo,” Tybur exclaims. “Don't you think Marley is already old-fashioned enough to the world?” 

Zeke wonders how much more they need to walk these hallways as they turn another corner. He wonders if the place smells so particularly good because they are rich or because he's used to the pissing headquarters and shitty internment zone.

“We cannot tell the world we've taken someone from another country and married him. It's not a good look for us. Nor for you,” he explains, finally stopping in his tracks. There's a big white door behind him. “We'll tell a story,” he provides, resting against it. “A love story.” 

The door finally opens and there’s nothing but a great lounge area with no one around. And they keep walking.

“They will fall in love with each other and the rest of the world with them,” Tybur says. He’s clearly thought about this a lot. “Eldia might be despised but Marley comes in a close second. We need to win the world back. But I don't need to explain strategy to you, do I, general?”

“I cannot believe you can welcome such a dangerous creature under your roof.”

“He’s not dangerous,” Tybur says sternly, but he doesn't even turn around as he opens yet another set of doors. 

The laughter of small children reaches them from somewhere in another room.

“Are you afraid we might unleash the power of the War Hammer into your head when you visit?” Tybur asks, huffing a laugh.

“No, Alex. But I trust you.”

“You can trust him, too. I assure you,” he says, stopping before an arched opening. “After you,” he offers with a gesture of his hand.

Zeke waits until the generals walk through before going himself and only when they move away does he spot Ackerman, finally. It’s clearly him, the only dark-haired boy in a room full of blonds. And he’s pretty. The Tybur children are sitting next to him on the floor, drawing with crayons.

“Kids, I told you Levi had to work. Go on, leave,” Tybur says delicately and the kids pout.

“We’ll play later,” Ackerman tells them. He’s got a soft, raspy voice. 

Zeke wants to get closer. He feels giddy, more so than he imagined. He’s always been excited about this clan; it’s all he and Erwin talked about while growing up. But he can’t say the same thing about the prospect of stepping into this mansion and being part of this ridiculous plan, so he almost forgot what this meant for him. What the implications of meeting this boy were. 

“Levi, dear, get up.”

He obliges, not without showing how reluctant he is to do this. and then he just stands there. Zeke swallows a smile. He’s shorter than anyone in the room and also paler, all dressed up like a rich Tybur with a white shirt and black dressing pants. A little dark blue cravat-like bow with diamonds around his collar. Zeke’s only seen those during their fancy events when he was younger and was forced to work as a waiter for them.

Everyone tries to shake hands with Levi but he doesn’t move at all. He even spares Zeke a rabid look.

Lord Tybur chuckles. “He's not used to our ways yet,” he says.

Zeke wonders what have they been doing to him this past month, considering how well he looks. Zeke didn’t feel or look any good the months before and after inheriting his titan, Marley seems to have been a lot kinder to Levi.

They talk about the military aspect of the plans they have for Levi since the Tybur family has clearly been taking care of the private aspect; Ackerman is a valuable weapon for Marley and they do not intend to let it go to waste. 

“This is Zeke Yeager,” Magath finally says after all the stupid set-up was laid out. “He is in possession of the Beast Titan and he’s surprised us all with the results of his studies. He’s not like any other Beasts we’ve seen before. I hope you’ve been told how this works?”

Levi just nods, frowning, staring. He doesn’t talk at all during the whole conversation and Zeke tries not to stare but even surrounded by luxurious lamps, chandeliers, sofas, rugs, and sculptures, Levi sticks out like a rare gem, his dark hair and piercing gaze setting him apart. He’s wasting away in a family like this. He’d be a waste amidst war too. Though in the end, that’s what he was made for. 

“Can you speak, son? Answer. I want to hear it.”

“Yes, sir,” Levi provides. But he’s not really trying and Zeke enjoys it all a little too much. 

“We will train you for war. Are you aware of that?”

“I’ve explained everything to him already, Theo,” Tybur says.

“He doesn’t look apt to fight. He doesn't look interested at all.”

“Is it so normal to be thrilled about death?” Zeke asks. Maybe he shouldn't speak but he wants to be a part of it—considering he is an actual part of it.“I do not mean to contradict you, general, but even without Erwin’s mission report, he scares me shitless.”

“Oh,” Tybur breathes out, covering his smile. “You two have a filthy mouth. At least we know you’ll get along,” he jokes. “Just, please, make sure his face doesn't get hurt. We need to take pictures for the newspaper tomorrow morning. And bring him back before curfew.”

“Yes, my Lord,” Zeke says.

“You were brought here so you understand the privileges of your new assigned mission,” General Magath tells him. “Ackerman might be your partner, but he’s also your responsibility.”

“And my life depends on it,” Zeke offers.

“Good,” Tybur says.

He’s immediately excused because there are private matters they need to discuss before leaving, so a very polite gentleman escorts Zeke outside. He lights a cigarette and breathes in that sweet nicotine he’s been needing since the morning. 

It's been quite a hectic year for him. Yet somehow the past month has been even worse after Erwin finally came back from that devilish island, bringing with him what no one thought possible.

Erwin’s reports on his Paradis infiltration did not prepare Zeke for this at all. Levi Ackerman is supposed to come from a decayed underground city filled with criminals, where murder and hunger are the common currency. Ackerman doesn’t look like a boy who comes from poverty; he looks like he’s lived a high-end life since birth. Like he was born for luxury.

According to Erwin’s report, he follows every Ackerman description in the book, and according to the lab studies, he is undeniably Ackerman. The ship’s crew has insisted a lot on saying how strong Levi is, stubborn and also feared. Apparently, he was beaten up by several soldiers one afternoon. Not only did he not defend himself, but it was so hard to punch him that several soldiers ended up with broken fingers and toes for hitting him. He was thought to be dead or at least unconscious but they found him walking fine the next morning with nothing but a scar on his lip. It scared everyone. Wald told Zeke that Levi’s a freak. That he broke his finger back in Paradis for just talking back at him. That he is strong enough to lift Mike up in the air and throw him to the ground without breaking a sweat.

Zeke will be lucky enough to see him in action. They want him and Ackerman to train together and get ready for their incoming siege operations. 

Marley can’t get enough of war and they want to make their words into action with the neighbouring countries and prove they are a strong nation that is not to be messed with. They have titans and they have an Ackerman; they are ready to become the kings of this world and won’t hesitate to use everything they have at hand to do it. General Magath was already getting restless after hearing the Tyburs would be taking care of his precious acquisition. He’s probably very proud of Erwin’s work even if he's taking all the credit for himself. 

Everyone was sure Erwin’d either die or come back empty-handed. But the motherfucker proved them wrong. He snuck into a feared country and smuggled someone with him. Even if Levi hadn’t been an Ackerman, that's already a bold feat to undertake.

The best—or worst—part of all of it is that Levi is, in fact, an Ackerman. He is part of one of the ancient rare families that the Eldians created a hundred years back. The Tybrus were quick to take him under their wing to run tests. Zeke still doesn't understand how they can prove he was part of a family that wasn't supposed to exist anymore. There isn't supposed to be any reference to compare him to. He’s been running scenarios in his head, wondering if the Tybur possesses bones or blood or some sort of Ackerman DNA. Maybe Marley does.

Zeke lights his second cigarette pondering on what Levi has been doing in this luxurious mansion for a whole month. If he has been living the life of the rich or thrown from hand to hand, doctor to doctor, psychological interviews to physical tests. 

He didn't look upset or mistreated. He seemed to have built a relationship with the Tybur children. He's already dressed up like one of them, no armband in sight. No visible signs of physical abuse either, though Erwin has written all about his childhood which might have prepared him for the worst already.

Funny how Erwin did all the dirty work but had to spend three weeks held in contempt and locked in a jail, only to then be sent home. Gerst has reportedly said his behaviour was disruptive, causing two other Eldian survivors to die and Ackerman to be beaten up. He can't go back to HQ for half a year. Zeke is dying to know what truly happened back there.

The entrance door opens behind him, finally. The generals walk out and Levi's right behind them. 

He's dressed up in a Marleyan uniform now but no tie, unbuttoned collar. He's even smaller up close. They are at eye level but Levi's two steps above him on the stairs. 

The generals walk to their own car and drive away while Zeke is still opening the door to let Levi get in first.

“You smoke,” Levi states. 

Zeke barely had time to get his ass comfortable in the seat. He shuts the door of the car and takes a packet out of his jacket pocket.

“Want one?”

“No,” Levi answers, scrunching his nose. “Don't smoke here. It's disgusting.”

The boy clearly spent too much time among stuck-up assholes.

Zeke lights a cigarette anyway.

“Oi!” Levi exclaims. “Don’t fucking do it.”

“Not even generals order me when to smoke,” Zeke mutters and drags his cigarette.

“Filthy habit.”

“Don't you have any filthy habits yourself?”

“Go fuck yourself,” Levi answers, looking outside the window.

Zeke skirts around his cigarette. “Refusing to answer is just the same as acknowledging it.”

Levi huffs. “They said I’d be paired with an asshole.”

Zeke’s not offended at all as it doesn’t feel like an insult. “Mind you,” he says. “I’m the captain of my squad.”

“Are you Erwin's captain?” Levi asks, looking straight back at him.

Zeke stares, unable to answer. He's surprised to hear the name from Levi's lips. It sounds very casual. It's not like Erwin would've written about being friends with Ackerman during those months away but Zeke wasn't expecting to learn they were on a first-name basis.

There's so much he'd like to know about Erwin's experience abroad, so much he'd like to talk to him about. Zeke thinks all the nostalgia makes him miss Erwin, his roommate and his childhood friend. But he won't be seeing him anytime soon.

“No,” Zeke answers, readjusting his glasses. “We were partners. I wasn't a shifter yet by the time he left.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard,” Levi says.

“I bet he had lovely things to say.”

“He’s in jail.” Levi sounds resentful. 

“I've heard he deserved it,” Zeke sneers.

“He didn't kill nobody.”

Zeke flicks his cigarette on the ashtray by the door. “I know him enough to know that much.”

“And you know about me too, huh?”

“I assume most of it,” Zeke answers, sparing a look and a smirk.

The ride to headquarters is long and Levi will have to do it daily now. Zeke analyses his new partner as he stares outside the window, resting his chin on a hand, legs crossed.

Zeke uses their time to ask Levi what he thinks about the city, the cars, the Tyburs. He asks how he found out about Erwin and whether he was just as a boring partner as he usually is in Marley. Levi doesn't take the bait. He answers in short sentences and barely elaborates, claiming  to have spent most of the boat trip inside his room. That he was isolated for a fever and they never let him leave other than for cleaning duty, and that Erwin also forced him to go outside for lunch and dinner. 

Erwin can be annoying like that, it's all about duty with him. Having a healthy body and good training. Eat enough, read enough, work enough. Zeke hates the balance and diligence that implies.

It must've been very boring for Levi to only experience Erwin's company. Especially considering everything the rest of the crew told Zeke. Wald says that travelling back to Marley was very entertaining. All the soldiers would get together after dinner and cram up in one room. Some played the guitar, others talked nonstop. There were nights when they had very cheap rum and got hammered. One night, they even ended up sucking on a cucumber from the kitchen, challenging each other on who'd be able to swallow it deeper.

While entering HQ, Zeke and Levi have to go through a lot of check-ins. He’s not surprised to see Levi's got all his paperwork up-to-date. There's a reason he's been held in Tybur's mansion. They made sure he's got everything in order. It'd be interesting to know what place of birth is written on there, what date. Erwin's report explained Levi knows little about his childhood and that his mother died when he was around four. But none of that is certain because he never visited a doctor and barely celebrated his own birthdays.

After the car is parked near the training grounds, Zeke steps out and lights another cigarette, leaning against the hood. The driver asks for one and he offers his packet so he can serve himself. Levi, for his part, is standing there, arms crossed, face scrunched with the bright morning sun.

It's not clear what they are going to do now. For sure, Zeke is not training Levi in the shooting grounds nor is he going to blow a whistle to make him run faster.

“That the Ackerman guy, huh?” the driver asks. He wears a grey armband and has been the one to take Zeke everywhere he needs to go since he inherited the Beast.

“The one and only.”

“He looks exactly like no one I've ever met.”

Zeke snorts. “Right? Come here, Levi,” he says. “Make some friends.”

“You're smoking,” he answers.

“Everyone here smokes. You'll have to get used to it.”

“I don't need to smell like ass.”

“Everyone here smells like ass,” Zeke offers with a shrug.

Levi cocks a brow, then huffs.

An official calls for them not long after that and they follow him towards the training fields but once they reach him, they keep walking towards the back of the premises where Magath is waiting.

“Yeager,” he calls.

“Sir.”

“You can drive, yes?”

“Certainly,” he answers. 

It's a stupid question. After Erwin left, Magath didn't have his favourite boy around  so driving is among the many other skills he taught Zeke, trying to find the same thing in him, probably feeling Erwin might never return. They never clicked in the same way but Zeke drove him around the premises whenever he needed and Magath was patient enough to teach him how to do just that.

Levi sits in the back and remains silent, he doesn't look like the kind that talks much but Zeke doesn't care. He's not taken aback by someone who tries to play it cool. Zeke’s just different, he likes talking and won't shut up. So since Levi was forced to work with him, he will have to just take it.

“We're going to the piers,” Magath orders.

“Are we teaching Ackerman how to swim?”

“We're teaching him about shifters,” Magath says. “He only knows the theory, we need him to experience this at first sight. According to Smith's reports, he's quick and strong but we don't know how to incorporate him into our military strategy.”

He must be really mad at Erwin if he's not using his first name. He must be especially mad at the Tyburs if he's talking about Ackerman like he's not right behind them.

“He's a grown-up now, too old to learn to fire a gun or weapon maintenance, to learn unit tactics and navigation. He's never been to school. He's apparently only proficient in physical fitness and… has survival skills.”

“Plenty, according to Erwin.”

“Yes,” Magath breathes out. “Nobody was counting on him coming back,” he says, turning to look at Levi. “Nobody thought you'd come with him either. You might be living like a king in that mansion but here, you are a soldier.”

Zeke looks at Levi through the rearview mirror. He looks unamused, arms crossed, unfazed by Magath's direct orders.

They arrive at the docks quickly and it's as empty as the rest of the headquarters. The place is vast and well-maintained. There are two large ships docked at the far end but they are surely staying in front of the warehouse where it's less dangerous for a titan to emerge. Bertold is the only one who needs to be taken to the desert, which is a five-hour drive. Nobody is training this weekend because it's their time off. Zeke hasn't had time off since before he inherited the titan, not him nor any of the other shifters, but he doesn't know where they are today.

Zeke loves it here this time of the week. He usually comes here if he can to enjoy the little hours he gets to be alone and listen to the waves, smell the salty air and stand the noise of those stupid seagulls before getting back quickly to avoid someone noticing his absence.

Magath hands Zeke a knife once they reach the large platform in front of the sea. Zeke hands him his glasses and his jacket while he loosens his tie. He takes it off alongside his shirt. Letting out a deep sigh, he turns around and walks to the other end. He'll have to get wet.

It's interesting how Levi hasn't even asked one question, how he does everything he's told and questions nothing. Erwin either told him to do it or the island devils are just easy to bend to someone's will. Though the latter would make sense with anybody else but an Ackerman. They are supposed to be immune to all types of influence, he thinks. Erwin's the one who knows more about that subject. Zeke dives into the water headfirst against all of his wishes. 

The water is as cold as he expected and constricts his chest, its pressure making him dizzy and taking his breath away. He hates it but he's done more awful things for the cause so he endures it as much as possible. He slashes his palm and lets the fire in his blood ignite.

Shifting comes naturally at this point. His skin rips and unfolds and expands and then everyone and everything else is small and the pain dissipates. He's got better sight and better hearing. The water isn't cold anymore, though that's most likely because of his fur and thick skin. And he has his footing now too, the water only reaches his knees now and he can walk normally. Though not too much or else he'd end up creating quite dangerous tides.

The explosion from his shifting has already caused enough ruckus. The birds are gone and the ships are swinging, and he can see Magath readjusting his cap.

Levi's expression finally changed to something other than exasperation. Little lips apart, eyes wide, arms at each side as Zeke approaches.

“Look at you,” Zeke says, leaning down and kneeling on the seabed.

“Fuck, you can talk?” Levi asks, frowning. 

“You look even smaller now.”

“You ain’t blond anymore.”

Zeke smiles wide and Levi flinches.

“Beast,” he seethes. 

“It fits, doesn't it?” Zeke asks.

“Bet it makes you feel grand.”

“I'm big enough. You can't deny that.”

“Your breath stinks,” he answers, scrunching his nose.

Zeke extends his hand wide open in front of Levi and watches his every move. Wary as a street cat, he reaches out for a finger. He places his full hand over the pad and slides it across. It almost tickles but Zeke's sure he wouldn't feel a thing if it wasn't for how much attention he's paying to all of this. It’s particularly surprising that Levi makes no comment about the high temperature, that he can leave his hand over his finger like nothing before he proceeds to hold one of Zeke's nails in his hands.

“I know. I need a manicure,” Zeke jests but it's not funny. Levi's sense of humour is a conundrum still.

“You need a bath.”

“Hop on,” he offers, getting his hand closer but Levi shakes his head and takes a step back.

Zeke frowns. He thought Levi would be a lot more into this but maybe he'll never show interest in anything at all. He can only imagine how boring it must've been for him to be around Erwin. All he does is read and write. That's why he and Zeke got along in the first place, they would sit and read and talk with no one else. But after they grew up, it was clear that Zeke had a whole lot more social skills than Erwin.

“That's enough for now, Zeke,” Magath declares. “Get ready for a debrief in the warehouse office. Thirty minutes,” he orders, handing Levi Zeke's clothes and walking away.

Zeke takes his hand back and scratches his temple with the opposite finger. “I thought we were training,” he says.

He leans with his hands on the concrete and lowers his head before ripping himself out from the nape of the Beast. He breathes in the hot vapour and clenches his teeth as his skin separates from the titan's flesh, stepping out and away from it.

“Thank you,” he breathes out when Levi hands him his shirt. “Enjoyed the show?”

“Get dressed,” Levi orders, handing the rest of the clothes so Zeke barely has any time to button his shirt.

“Not all shifters look the same,” he explains even if Levi hasn't asked. This is what Magath wants from this pairing anyway. “We all serve different purposes.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“You have?” Erwin, of course.

Levi squints at the Beast's carcass, vaporizing. “And I don’t care,” he says. “I bet you all look awful.”

“You're so mean, Levi.”

“Dress up already,” he says, looking at Zeke from head to toe before walking away.

“We have time, Levi!” he exclaims, putting on his glasses and following up. “Magath likes to brew himself a coffee first, smoke a cigar and only then will he allow you in his office.” Zeke’s jacket is hanging from his shoulder as he buttons up his shirt. “You wouldn't imagine how long I've waited to meet with him. Almost smoked a whole pack of cigarettes.” He puts the tie through his head. He doesn't know why he’s in such a hurry to follow Levi around.

“That's a filthy habit,” Levi says again as they approach one of the warehouse doors.

Zeke leans right next to it and somehow convinces Levi not to walk inside. “Doctors recommend it,” he offers.

“I've seen people cough their lungs out their throats,” Levi hisses.

“That's the germs in the air!” Zeke exclaims, noticing how Levi's eyes are fixed on his neck. “Menthol helps a lot with that. Do I… have something?” He asks, touching the collar of his shirt.

“I come from a place that's literally called the Underground,” Levi says, looking straight into his eyes and slapping Zeke's hands away. 

“I… I've read about it,” he answers, stiff under Levi's touch. He's undoing his tie at this very moment.

“You can barely breathe down there,” Levi explains, unfolding the tie. “The people who smoked died first.” He moves his deft fingers to pop his collar, hot fingertips, soft touch. “We had enough germs,” he says disgustedly, wrapping the tie back around his neck. “We had germs and maggots and fucking diseases.” His eyes are fixed on his work at hand, moving the fabric through his nimble fingers. “We died for just living. And you die because you're stupid. Because you have so much free time on your hands.”

Zeke gulps. 

Levi's harsh and delicate and smells good and is so, so pretty in contrast to the cigarette smoke rolling off his own clothing. He's got a pretty face and soft skin. He's a pretty boy. Zeke can only imagine how many women will be queuing up after they see him in the newspaper, only to be rejected. Levis is too delicate in his mannerisms, somewhat flamboyant. He reminds Zeke of that boy that was discharged from the military for being queer under the charges of sexual perversion.

“Thank you,” Zeke manages after Levi's done with his tie.

“I don't get ties, they are awful,” he says, opening the door.

“Didn't have those in the Underground?”

Levi stops, looking over his shoulder. “We lived in filth but had good taste,” he offers and Zeke could swear there's a smirk before he turns back ahead. “Your military clothes are dreadful and uncomfortable.”

“I'll give you that one. But you'll get used to it.”

“I doubt it.”

Zeke makes a gesture to invite Levi up the stairs. “You'll get used to so much, Levi.”

“I doubt I'll get used to you.”

“You would if you tried. Just be nice to me.”

“You don't look like the type that likes nice,” Levi provides, reaching the last steps. Then he turns around. “I'm not nice.”

Zeke smirks and balls his hand into a fist, watching Levi walk away. If that's not flirting then he doesn't know what is. But if any officer ever sees something like that, they might end up in the stomach of a titan before they can learn how mean they can be to each other.

In Magath's improvised office, they sit side by side. Levi lounges on the chair and crosses his legs, placing his arms on the armrests. He looks bored, fed up like all the bureaucracy is ridiculous. And he's right.

Besides, Magath isn't happy, he isn't convinced. He rambles on and on about the type of training Levi will have to go through first. He claims this will set them back and that's why they sent the new shifters to Paradis to begin their mission sooner than necessary.

It makes sense that he doesn't trust Levi. They haven't seen him do anything; for all they know, he's a pompous boy living in a rich family and everything Erwin wrote in his reports were lies. And as much privilege as Magath might hold among simple Eldians, he is still a poor bastard standing beside Lord Tybur.

Besides, Magath's too full of himself to even grasp what Erwin has recorded on paper or even what Levi just told Zeke by the door. He's a fighter and a survivor, whether he's strong or not.

“You will be training together during the week in the main fields. On the weekends, you will train by the pier.”

“Will I ever get my weekend privileges back?” Zeke sneers.

“Only if Ackerman is a fast learner. You will pick him up and drive him back. His safety is in your hands, do not put us in a bad place, Yeager. The Tyburs have an obligation with us but we do not want to endanger this political position.”

“I wouldn't dare,” he offers but he's not being honest.

“I'm still not sure how you two can work together. You cannot throw him like a cannonball, no matter how strong he claims to be.”

“I could ride him,” Levi offers.

Zeke perks up his eyebrows and stares, smirking. The message makes it a cross because Levi has to look away. “I'm all for that,” Zeke says. Magath probably doesn't get it anyway.

“He's big and moves across the battlefield I gather,” Levi explains. “I can get places fast. I just need my ODM gear so that I can use his height to my favour.”

“Is that what that gear is for?” Magath asks. He clearly hasn't read any of Erwin’s reports.

“Its use is what you make of it,” Levi answers and he doesn’t sound full of himself, he’s not talking Magath down, he’s being methodic. “The soldiers used it to move between buildings inside and trees outside. You go fast and you go steady. No one will see me coming.”

“From what I've read,” Zeke adds. “They move in the air through gas propulsion. It might just be a good use. Bullets won't get to him. We could easily infiltrate bases overnight.”

“This is not a debriefing for you to convince me into doing what you like. I know what we need and how we need to do it.” Magath wouldn't talk to Erwin this way.

“Yes, sir,” Zeke concedes.

“You're dismissed, Yeager. Take Ackerman back to the Tybur mansion. You will pick him up tomorrow first thing in the morning and get back here.”

“Yes, sir,” he parrots, standing up.

Levi looks at him and at Magath like he's giving his next movement some thought. Only after that, he gets up as well. Zeke walks him to the door but doesn't leave.

“I'll be there in a minute, ok?” he says and Levi frowns at him but he closes the door and turns back to Magath.

“Sir,” he calls but the general pays no attention to him, as if whatever paper on his desk is more important. “Sir, you know Erwin Smith better than anyone here, you know he wouldn't lie.”

“He might think he's not lying. He might be delusional. We always know how blind this subject made him and now we have a disrespectful good-for-nothing runt in our army. It will take us years to train him.”

“I understand sir but…” He takes a step forward. “Let's give Erwin the benefit of the doubt. One last chance. After everything he's gone through. Let's test Ackerman the best way we can. And if he fails then all we’ll have lost is Zackarias and Gutenberg's time. Smith isn’t even in the army at this point.”

Magath lets out a deep sigh and clasps his fingers. “What is it?” he asks exasperated. “What do you have in mind?”

Zeke inhales and then leans in, ready to spin his idea while Levi waits outside the door. 

Chapter Text

First strike has everyone's blood pumping. If Marley is successful in this blockade, they will have cut off essential supplies from the enemy's port. All they need to do is send a bunch of soldiers in as cannon fodder to take the first volley of bullets. Then Ackerman. Then throw in some juiced-up Eldians so that Zeke can do his thing. 

He’s safely in a plane, for now, overflying the combat zone, and as small as Levi can be, he still stands out amongst the crowd, the blood, the vapour and death. He’s proving worthy and Zeke’s proud. Smith is not the only one that can think strategically and he will see that now. He will also see that Levi is everything they hoped for and that’s only thanks to Zeke's plan. It was a risky move, maybe, but Smith would have done it too, making pure titans rain from the skies. It's not Zeke’s favourite hobby, but it surely will become Marley’s signature move. They love that shit. They love that Zeke can give them that—no other shifter before was able to do this with just a simple scream.

If Ackerman was to die down there, it’d be a pity. Smith would be mad but then he would’ve also been wrong. Of course, once again, he wasn’t. As much as Zeke would’ve loved to prove Smith wrong, Levi’s down there with his stupidly rudimentary gear slashing titans left and right, saving Marleyan soldiers from sudden death while also taking enemy soldiers down. Hopefully, they will use pure titans in their favour next time, but for now, they only need to put Levi to the test, and he passes with flying colours.

“Motherfucking Erwin Smith bitch, you dog,” Zeke mutters, amazed at how the little foreign creature that was brought here can survive even when everyone wants him dead. 

He still cannot believe Smith actually infiltrated that shitty country and made it back alive with such a treasure in his hands. Too bad he’s still being held in contempt and unable to join their forces until further notice. Smith would’ve loved to see this.

“I’m ready for insertion, sir!” Zeke tells his officer. The hatch is open and the wind is making his mouth dry.

“Not yet!”

“He’s endured enough, sir!” Zeke shouts above the rumbling of the aircraft. “He’s already survived what nobody could! There’s no need to kill him from exertion!”

“Watch your mouth, Yeager!”

“His stupid little gear will run out of gas soon! We do not want to lose Ackerman, even if he could take this port all by himself!” he insists.

“Little bitch Eldians always looking after each other!”

“May I remind you, sir! With all due respect... He’s Tybur’s responsibility!”

“Fucking jump already!”

Zeke turns around, smirking, and does as he’s told. He spreads his legs and hands and locks his gaze right where Levi is fighting. Pure titans can run amok and this is getting out of hand. If they don’t do something fast, the whole blockade will be a huge failure. So he dives down, head first, and once he’s close enough he takes his knife out and cuts the palm of his hand to let his beast come forward.

The Beast Titan lands on his feet stepping over some titans, and leans forward to hold a few others with his fist before they get to Levi. As practised, Levi grapples onto his arm immediately and propels himself forward, flying across his arm.

“Attack.” He mutters an order to influence the pure titans to turn around and choose a different target. 

Some of them comply, others don’t. He doesn't want Levi to know about this skill of his just yet, especially not after having exposed him to this hellhole. He hasn't even mastered it, still doesn't understand why some titans listen to him while others keep doing their business. It's probably just pure chance that some even pay mind to him, to begin with. 

He leans on his hands and rips himself out of the back of the titan to greet Levi. There’s so much vapour that they can barely see each other. Levi’s dripping titan blood everywhere, thick wet strings of hair fall over his face. He looks pissed and he spits.

“About time you get here, you piece of shit!”

“You did wonderfully,” Zeke breathes out.

Levi points ahead. “They’ve retreated as soon as the titans fell down the sky!” he explains, voice hoarse and loud, “They are compromised! Where the fuck have you been?”

“I’m here now! Don’t fret!” 

“Get me there!” Levi points again and Zeke notices something on his neck as the blood disperses. “I can claim the tower and open the gates!”

“You got shot!” Zeke adverts.

Levi touches his neck right where the wound is and shakes his head. “Just a scratch.”

But it’s not a scratch, and it’s not a bullet wound either. Zeke can't make it out among all the vapour and without his glasses on, though, so he will have to look at that later. He squints as he finds more scratches on Levi’s face the more he looks.

“Let’s go, fuzzball!” Levi orders and jumps over him to get to the Beast’s other shoulder.

Zeke shakes it off and gets back inside. Now with much better sight, he walks forward and extends his arm, helping Levi swing from his finger up to the tower. Zeke destroys the cannons that were set at the highest of the front buildings with just his hands. There are no soldiers to fire at them anyway. From here he can see Levi was right; everyone has retreated, and causing more destruction will not help them take this area for themselves. He squashes the remaining pure titans around him to help the surviving soldiers keep marching until they reach the building. Then he walks to the shore where there are still guns firing.

This is not Zeke’s first time squashing people between his fingers. He doesn't enjoy it, but the problem actually is that he doesn't feel anything. He doesn't want to be here, to begin with, and it's almost as if he’s walking this road with a blindfold on; and he's only walking it because it’s harder to just die. He’s tired of it. He’s tired of talking about war and thinking about war and he’s tired of duty.

Levi gets that. Not because he’s lived in war but because he’s lived fighting for his life just as much. That's what they mostly talk about: following somebody else's rules, somebody else's dreams. Things that don't even align with their life. And how nothing ever aligns anyway.

After the few surviving soldiers in the port surrender, the Cart shows up to help with the heavy lifting. They set up cells and fill them with prisoners. They search the whole place and set up new guards but they are not expecting retaliation. This port is Marley's now and they have proven that titans hold the power in the warzone. Zeke is sure that won't last long considering the fast evolution of war assets.

This is Zeke's first time taking new territory. Marley's used him before to hold lands, to take down enemy ships, but he's never seen soldiers beating the crap out of enemies until they cough blood. He's sure they won't survive the cells. 

There also don't seem to be any rules, or at least not the regular ones, and that's where he finds Levi punching a soldier's gut to defend an enemy nurse from being raped. What's interesting is that he's not imprisoned for that at all. Magath and Calvi are busy setting up this new place as a checkpoint. The officers are doing paperwork; the soldiers, the heavy lifting.

Pieck steps forward and takes it upon herself to keep the nurse safe, inviting her to share a room and steer clear of the mess. Levi loots the kitchen for tea and brews some while most people prefer to smoke and get drunk.

Sleeping is not an option or a plan. The violence, the screams, and the shooting still echo in Zeke's brain and he's sure it's the same with the rest of the soldiers in this place. So after picking a room for himself, he decides to lock himself up away from all the noise.

Tonight, and maybe for the first time, Zeke gets to be in the same room as Levi after midnight. Levi has decided to keep him company, and Zeke won’t need to drive him to Tybur's mansion. He gets to talk to him about other things that are not training and he gets to spend time alone with him other than inside a car.

“How did you like the showers?”

“They are good,” Levi says, so graciously holding a teacup with the tip of his fingers.

“Amazing showers indeed.”

“I said good.”

“I've only heard you say tea is good… that's how good the showers are.”

Levi doesn't answer, he just looks away sipping his tea. He examines the room. It’s a nice room, these people were living quite well, unlike they do in Marley HQ. Maybe it's nice and comfortable enough for Levi too and he will stay.

“That was a shit idea,” Levi suddenly says. “Throwing titans from the sky to take the port. Most of the soldiers that died were Eldians. Is that why they did it?”

“It's a test. They want to know how to work with them, how they can be useful.” The lie slips out his tongue effortlessly.

“Were they prisoners?”

“Yes.”

“Erwin said you had to inject them with something.”

Erwin talks too much. “Recent experiments have proven that consuming spinal fluid orally works in a similar fashion.”

Levi's clearly affected by the morals of everything this country stands for, so much so that he brought Erwin's name up again. This is only the second time Levi mentioned his name. For a second there, Zeke almost thought he had forgotten him entirely.

“A lot changed during the time Erwin left,” he tells Levi. “His information might not be as reliable. What else did he say?”

“Not much,” Levi says and Zeke's experience in lying can see right through that.

“Well, I'm sure there was a lot he said just to get you out of that island too. It seems like Paradis knows just as little about us as we know about them.”

“Marley knows shit about anything.”

Zeke chuckles. “Don't get me wrong, Erwin's the smartest guy I know. He was my first friend at school because he was the only one willing to talk to me.”

“His first bad decision,” Levi deadpans.

“Come on! I was very shy—”

“Fuck off.”

“I was! And nobody liked me.”

“Some things never change.”

“Shut up,” Zeke chides, chuckling. “Do you want to hear this or not?”

“I do not.”

Zeke huffs, pulling out a cigarette from the packet in his front pocket. “Well, the door is right there,” he says, resting the cigarette on his lips before lighting it.

Levi doesn't move other than the twitch of his lips, but his stare is killer. Zeke loves that.

He drags his cigarette and licks his lips. “So… Erwin. He invited me to his place every time he could and we would play until late hours. I was surprised my parents didn't make that a problem, but they really trusted his family. Everybody trusts his father, and since he had a good job at school Erwin had a bunch of cool toys. Best friend ever,” he says, breathing all the smoke out. “Then puberty hit and he didn't get as handsome, you know? With his big eyebrows, big nose, big eyes.”

Levi huffs a laugh.

“He is pretty famous now, though. Surviving Paradis? Bringing you in? Everybody talks about him in HQ—shit!” Zeke breathes out. “I bet he's fucking women left and right. What the fuck is he going to do with all that free time on his hands anyway?”

“Haven't read about him in the news,” Levi offers. Zeke didn't know he'd been checking those. 

He drags his cigarette. “You look amazing in those pictures, Levi,” he says, letting smoke out of his nose and lips.

“I had to stand there like an asshole for hours.”

“Worth every second; you're very photogenic.”

“What?”

“You look very pretty in pictures, is what I mean.” Zeke picks up his teacup and swigs the last of its content.

“What's the word?”

“Photogenic. I take it you don't have cameras in Paradis.”

“No,” Levi says, leaning to fill their cups again. “And I don't see the point.”

“You get to keep a piece of time, of history. You can take a picture of anything. I can remember my parents' faces thanks to them, for example.”

“What happened to them?”

“Heaven.”

“Fuck,” Levi mutters.

“Heard about restorationists?”

“No.”

Zeke squints, skeptical, then shrugs. “They are traitors. Eldians going against the government.”

“Your parents were restorations…nist or…”

“Restorationists,” Zeke enunciates. “Yeah. They would hold secret meetings and teach me all sorts of lies,” he says, flicking the cigarette over the ashtray. “I… called the police on them,” he says.

It’s heart-wrenching; everyone knows that story already, so it's just not normal for him to say it out loud. And it hurts even more as he watches Levi's brows perk up. The little bastard is judging him.

“It would've… risked my position in the military,” he explains. “Ksavier and Smith recommended it—Erwin’s father, I mean. I just… went with it.”

“They made you do it?”

“I had to do it, Levi. Or they'd sent me to heaven too.” He smokes, watching Levi sip his tea.

“I'm not judging you… maybe for the first time.”

Zeke wasn't expecting compassion. “Maybe you'll feel sorry for me now.”

Levi watches the smoke that Zeke breathes out. “Don't push it,” he says.

Zeke chuckles, enjoying the little smirk that rises on Levi's lips. “We're orphans.”

“Mhm.”

“I'm not sure if I miss my dad but I sure miss my mom.” He isn't sure, in fact, he doesn't know if any of the words that come out of his mouth are true anymore, but he just needs feeling to come out of somewhere. “My grandfather is getting crazier by the minute. He's constantly talking about him. Do you have any memories of your family?” 

Levi shakes his head, almost imperceptible.

“You don't talk about them?”

Levi shrugs. “I remember my mom.”

Zeke knows she was a prostitute so he won't barge into that just in case. “Is the Underground as bad as Erwin put it out to be?”

“I don't know what he wrote but it was probably worse,” Levi says, looking at the bottom of his cup. He must've emptied it already.

“What's it like living with rich assholes now?”

“The kids are spoiled and loud. And alone. The old Tybur fart only cares about appearances and my… fiance…”

Zeke snorts. “Right. They got you there. I bet it'll be hard pretending you're not a homosexual.”

Levi sighs. “Fuck off, dick.”

“Come on Levi, I'm only saying.”

“I don't know any of those fancy words, asshole, talk plainly. I had enough with Erwin.”

“Fancy, Levi? I'm saying... That... You're gay—You're gay, right?”

“What is that, what are you saying?” Levi’s frowning but not mad; it’s more similar to that face he uses when he’s trying to read something from the paper.

“You like men, Levi. Am I right to assume that?” Zeke asks, stubbing out his cigarette, crumbling the butt.

“Ugh. Yeah... I guess… What the fuck do you care?”

“That's what gay is.”

“Why?” Levi asks, twitching his lips, finally resting his cup on the desk.

“Why... why what?”

“Why is that gay ?”

“Gay means you like people of the same sex,” Zeke explains, resting his elbows over the desk. “Men in this case.”

“Big deal.”

“Is that new to you? You've never heard of that term?”

Levi shrugs, crossing his legs. “I don't see what your point is.”

“That's not normal here,” Zeke points out, waving at the room. “It’s illegal even… in many countries. Is it not the same on your island... In... Paradis?”

“I don't see the problem so I'd say no, nobody ever made it a problem and they wouldn't give a shit either. We had bigger problems.”

Zeke tilts his head. “Was it... Is it... an Underground thing? Or was it the same above?”

“We got out and snuck around above, that's how we got money and food,” Levi says, flicking the bangs away from his face. “I know what above is like, people fuck anyone they want if that's where you're trying to go.” The subject seems to make him uncomfortable somehow.

“I'm very much intrigued,” Zeke says, pondering. “Among all the things you've been deprived off by being oblivious to the world, your people also managed to avoid the prejudices related to religion and the world's colonialism. You had none of that. You started from scratch.”

“Again with fancy words,” Levi spits out. “Besides, there is religion over there.”

“Yes, but it’s based solely on the walls, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“Marley did not get into that game, but religion is quite a thing for many countries around the world.”

“Wait—” Levi rubs his temple. “So you don't like men here…? People from the same... Sex.”

“I do... But don't tell anyone,” Zeke says and winks. Levi looks so cute when he's confused and intrigued.

“Why not?”

“People will talk,” Zeke answers, shrugging. “They like saying things.”

Levi huffs. “People always talk, you think they have nothing to say about your stench that they will focus on who you fuck?”

“You'd be surprised how much more important being straight is.”

Levi frowns.

“Liking people of the opposite sex,” Zeke explains.

“That's straight?”

“Yes.”

“And we're what... Twisted?”

Zeke nods. “In a way.”

“They are upset because of who birthed you and who you fuck.”

“Exactly right!” Zeke exclaims, waving his hands. “It doesn't make sense! It's just that... Idiotic,” he offers with a curt shrug.

“So Erwin…”

Zeke cocks his head, counting this as the third time Levi has brought his name up since they met.

“...Is against that,” Levi states.

Zeke sighs. “Funny you should mention… that's something I always wondered.”

“But you said he dates women.”

“I date women too, Levi. That doesn't make me like men any less.”

Levi hums.

“He looks pretty gay, doesn't he?” Zeke leans back against the backrest and resists the urge to lift his feet up.

“Tch. I don't know what that means, fuzzball. He looks just fine. He looks normal... Maybe like he has a stick up his ass.”

Zeke lets out a deep laugh, loving Levi’s wording. “Indeed, he can't get loose.”

“He's so awkward,” Levi says, looking at his nails.

“Well… he's quite cute too. Believe me, I tried to get into his pants but it's a lost cause. He's filled with prejudice, it's all judgement, no passion.”

Levi shoots a look. “He's smart.”

“Did I say he was a fool?”

“You said you were friends.”

“We are. I miss him. I haven't seen him all fucking year! We shared a room in HQ, we shared ideas and stories. Hell,” he says, chuckling, “We talked about the Ackerman clan for hours on end almost every night at one point. And then he just fucking—”

“Left.”

Zeke huffs. “Did he say anything about that?”

“I told you. Erwin didn't say shit. He kept to his business.”

“Well, he left. He didn't say shit to me either,” Zeke hisses and he didn't know he had all of this inside of him. “So not only did he have a nice trip to the land of Paradis, got himself the man of his dreams, and came back to glory itself, but he also got away with it.”

“He's in disciplinary action.”

“Pfft. He's at home. With his dad. He's not at war killing people. He's good. He'll be fine,” Zeke seethes, reaching for another cigarette.

“I’ll heat more water if you're gonna keep smoking,” Levi offers, getting up.

“Are you coming back?”

“Yeah. I got nowhere to be.”

“I promise I'm done crying about him.”

Levi gets the kettle and walks to the door. “You're as pitiful as he is,” he says before leaving.

Zeke smokes two more cigarettes during his absence, finally aware that he might miss Erwin but he resents him just a tad more. He's his friend and he was saved from enduring most of this pain, and maybe he should be happy for Erwin’s safety but he isn't. It wasn't Erwin who had to endure helping Pieck during her shifting process, forced to stay inside that monster for months. Or poor Marcel and Reiner, ensuring the physical toll of putting their bodies to the test. The pure torture.

So no, he's not happy for Erwin. He's mad at him because he took the easy way out, the selfish way out. He and his father never had to go through what the rest of the Eldians do; they always got away with it either talking nicely or infecting other people's minds with their little ideas. It was Zeke's parents who ended up in heaven, it was Zeke who shortened his life to inherit the Beast Titan. It's Levi killing soldiers left and right. Where is Erwin in all of this?

Levi gets back with a hot kettle and pours more tea. They can't steer away from death as a topic but this time it's not about family but war. Zeke explains what the next steps might be, according to his understanding of the situation. Now that Marley has this port, the city has no way of getting supplies of any type; it's a siege situation. They either surrender or die under the Ackerman and Beast's hands. And they don't have that much war power so they might just surrender. If the country of Slava submits under Marley's power, it's only a question of time until another war begins. And if Marley conquers the south of this continent then Hizuru will join forces and Paradis won't stand a chance.

Zeke starts to browse the desk drawers and changes the subject as soon as he finds some cards. He asks Levi if he ever played any card games and it's exciting to know he hasn't. 

He shuffles the cards and deals them, telling Levi the rules. “Just form sets or runs of cards in a hand and avoid having leftovers,” he says, “Then draw a card each round and discard an old one.” He offers not to count any points at first but Levi insists.

After losing the first few rounds, Levi picks it up and he's not as competitive as Erwin is. He does get pretty mad whenever Zeke tries to play mind games with him, telling him that he has an amazing hand and that this round will be Levi's doom. When Zeke wins, Levi insults him; when he loses, Levi insults him too, but with a little smile.

They spend all night and morning playing and talking. Zeke starts sharing everything about the soldier's little sexual initiation rituals and what his and Erwin's first time was like. He talks about Mike and Wald too. Levi hates that one, apparently, and Zeke can understand that. He's a little spoiled brat with no rights whatsoever. But he's helpful for war. He's proficient in handling military equipment and has proven useful in vehicle maintenance. His trip to Paradis made him more confident and he found a spot in military workshops, working first-hand with the Cart Titan and its cart-like structure in fact, making it possible for it to carry many supplies as well as cannons, depending on the mission. So Wald might not be friend material, but he’s soldier material after all.

Levi does not care about any of that and makes Zeke laugh loudly after telling the story of how he broke Wald's index finger once. He was dying to hear Levi’s version of it.

An alarm sounds at some point, calling all soldiers to regroup on the main patio. The morning air is awfully cold and humid, the sky is cloudy and the people look tired. Tired and sick.

He lights a cigarette and leans against a wall while Levi stands by his side, arms crossed, listening to Calvi ramble on about winning territories and war and being the least charismatic officer around. Zeke cannot stand him, it was easier to talk to him when Erwin was around for some reason. Maybe because he has patience. Zeke never had any patience.

They are going to put the port in Marleyan conditions, they will take it as their own, and as expected, hope for the rest of Slava to surrender to them. It's a small country. The ones that don't surrender will cross the nearby borders as exiles.

Soldiers are to report to their generals to learn their new tasks. Levi asks for cleaning duty and he's quickly assigned so Zeke follows suit; he doesn't want Levi out of his sight for more reasons than he would be willing to accept. Mainly because he feels they are getting along better and better and tonight showed him they can have fun, they can laugh. Levi actually chuckles, and Zeke has discovered that after being around him for just a couple more hours than normal. Besides, he's cute and gay and what else do soldiers do if it isn't sharing rooms and time together?

Erwin might be blind but Zeke isn't, and Levi needs emotional support even if he pretends to be cold. He will need a hug, he will enjoy a hand on the shoulder, a caress, a homemade meal. He's a domestic boy who never had the chance of having a home. What if they could get it after this siege? Zeke doesn't need to get back, they might as well find residence here while everything is sorted out. 

No… Lord Tybur will claim him back. They won't let him be away from home for longer than necessary. But then maybe after some weeks of hard training, he could stay close, and convince a few officers of the waste of gas and time it takes to pick up Levi and drop him off. Hopefully, Levi will play in his favour too. It's not like he enjoys dressing up the little Tybur brats for school and being paired with a young girl. Maybe he’s fond of Willy Tybur, though. He hasn't mentioned whether he likes the boy or not. Blond, long hair, tall and always looking sharp. He might be his type, unlike Zeke who's already been insulted plenty for his messy hair and pair of glasses; Levi can so easily find nicknames for him.

During lunch, Pieck joins them for a little chat. She's hunched over the table, nibbling on her food, eating as little as Levi. She used to have a bigger appetite but everything changed after she inherited the Cart. She hasn't lost her sense of humour but she has slowed down notoriously. She's always tired and she's always sleeping. She thinks that it might be because she doesn't sleep while she's in Cart form and has been like that for a few months. Zeke had no idea they were putting her through that as if her training hadn’t been enough. 

He invites her for a card game at night but she says she would rather sleep. Levi says he can't sleep so he's in but when the time comes, Zeke falls flat on his bed and wakes up to the callout alarm the next morning. 

Levi is there by the desk with two cups of streamy tea, telling him to get his lazy ass off the bed. Zeke thinks that finally, things are picking up for him. He doesn't remember when was the last time he had breakfast with a smile on his face. And he hopes Levi's by his side from now on to make his days better.

Chapter Text

“Wake up, stinker,” Levi chides, bumping Pieck’s shoulder.

He already slammed the door when entering but it was not enough. Anja, the nurse lady is already up, she probably couldn't sleep with how much Pieck snores anyway. Levi doesn't think they hit it off but he wouldn’t have expected them to, considering she’s basically a war prisoner. Levi also thinks Calvi is fucking her in exchange for “keeping her safe”. 

They are all leaving this place today though, only a few soldiers will remain to keep the settlement and she will have to stay here on her own. Levi wants to give her a knife, to tell her to escape, but she hates him. She’s called him a disgusting freak, a monster, an abomination. There’s no point.

He’s been treated like trash before, but nobody has ever used the word abomination as he's heard people do here. Eldians are all a mistake in nature, according to the rest of the world. They shouldn’t exist and thus, their lives are meaningless. Erwin tried to warn him but Levi wouldn't have expected any of this.

Erwin, the blond, young, delusional soldier, always comes to his mind, daily and constantly. He’s been forbidden from stepping into HQ for the upcoming months and so Levi has not seen him once since they docked in this damned new world. He wants to resent Erwin but he also wants to think Erwin would’ve visited if he could. From what he’s learned, Erwin’s the kind to disappear anyway after he’s done with his duty, so maybe even after he’s restituted to his position he won’t be interested in seeing Levi anymore. He’s already asked and learned all he needed, which was not much. Levi knows nothing about the Ackermans and no matter how much they call him that and how many blood results they get, he doesn’t feel like one. He’s still taken aback by reading his full name on the front page of the newspaper: “Levi Ackerman, eugenics miracle or disgrace?”, “Ackerman is here and is real”, “Levi Ackerman, Marley’s new weapon of massive destruction?”  

It's weird to be loved and hated at the same time. Loved by the people who see him like a toy, like a pretty soldier, like an immortal machine, and hated by those who understand he’s a threat. Loved by the Tyburs who apparently get richer the more photos they take of Levi and hated by his military officers who are not used to having a strong soldier around them who’s not a shifter.

While holding this siege to the port of Slava, Levi had to fight with endless titans threatening to chomp off his legs and eat him alive. He saw with his own eyes how they ripped soldiers apart before gulping them down. Erwin told him that a pure titan's weak spot is its spine but Levi still tried not to kill them. He thought titans would attack their enemies and not their own, he thought for a stupid, idiotic, ignorant moment that the people under those husks would be able to rise as humans again but they didn't. So he slashed legs and arms and jaws and ears until he couldn't anymore. And then he slashed their spines. He cut the spines out of a hundred innocent people until he noticed a simple horizontal cut was just as effective. Zeke didn't know it either and he was surprised to learn that just removing a part of the spine was enough. And that’s how Levi managed to take down most of the pure titans before the Beast arrived. 

It was hard and tiring and awful and Levi hated every bit of it. The blood stank even after evaporating. His muscles hurt. His heart ached. 

“Fucking wake up!” he snarls, pulling from Pieck’s arm to force her to fall on the ground.

“What time is it?” Pieck asks, mumbling on the floor as Levi pushes her head with his boot.

“Time to wake the fuck up.”

“Are we leaving?”

“Yeah.”

Pieck turns around, standing on all fours. “Do I get to sleep on the plane?” she asks, crawling to her dresser.

“The fuck do I know?”

She opens the drawer to take a bag out and starts filling it with her clothes. Levi shakes his head, exasperated. They already knew they were leaving today, he made sure to have his bags packed yesterday.

“You think they’ll make you get back in cart form?” he asks, frowning.

“Who knows, maybe they’ll want to test my endurance some more.”

They have been in this port for barely thirty days and Levi doesn't think that’s enough rest for someone that has been a fucking monster for three months straight. 

“Don’t give them the chance,” he says. “Come with us. Zeke and I are taking the first plane back to Marley. The Tyburs want me back as soon as possible.”

“What does Zeke have to do with it?”

“He’s my babysitter.”

She huffs. “They’ll…” she turns around. “They’ll notice.”

“They didn't give you any orders, fuck them,” Levi says, waving a hand. “Don't give them the chance. You go back with the Warriors, seems appropriate.”

“You might enjoy pushing their buttons,” she says, getting back to packing. She’s on her knees and probably won’t stand up at all. Levi’s never seen her on two feet. “I don’t. I’ll go directly to Magath.”

“Suit yourself,” Levi says and leaves the room.

He walks back to Zeke’s room dodging every soldier in the way, everyone’s in a hurry for some reason, so different to when they have to clean and Levi has to kick their asses to make them speed up a bit.

Zeke’s in full uniform, neat and presentable as he always is—except for the frizzy hair. Clean-shaven, shiny boots, and not a wrinkle on his jacket. Though these stupid stiff jackets could never wrinkle. The armband and tie are on the desk and he’s reading something, standing up next to it.

“Reporting for duty?” he jests upon seeing Levi. The light hits his glasses, making it so that Levi can’t see his eyes. “Take a look at this,” he says, dropping a piece of newspaper over the desk.

Levi walks forward and tilts his head, reading out loud, “Humanity’s Strongest takes Slava for Marley in their first successful invasion in history.” 

“That’s you,” Zeke says, pointing at the words.

“Humanity’s Strongest,” Levi mutters.

“They go on and on about you taking down titans and the whole fort by yourself. I would've liked some of the credit but… it’s propaganda, we can’t expect anything else.”

“Fuck this.”

“This is only the beginning,” he says, leaning to get his tie. “Would you?”

Levi puffs air through his lips and snatches the tie. He stands between Zeke’s legs and pops the collar of his shirt. He hasn't smoked yet so he smells like soap, like flowers and lime. It’s familiar at this point, especially because Zeke always does that. He always asks Levi to put on his tie for him. He probably likes being touched and that always reminds Levi of Erwin’s hands gently touching his forehead when he had a fever and carefully applying cream to his wounds. Zeke might not be as gentle as Erwin, but he’s the only person around: he’s laid-back and handsome in ways Erwin is not. 

Zeke’s got soft features, soft skin, and a cute nose while Erwin’s features are too big for his small face. They both share the quality of having a stupid haircut, even if they are different and sometimes Levi wonders why he thinks about both of them so much and compares them when they are nothing alike. But the truth is that they also have so much in common. They are both loud-mouthed and smart, they are interesting to listen to and they are both stupidly blond. Levi’s never seen people with hair so bright, he always thought Farlan was the blondest man he knew until Erwin showed up. Now he lives surrounded by them.

“There,” Levi says, adjusting the tie a bit, but not too much. He squeezes Zeke’s cheeks with one hand and makes him smile. “Learn to do it yourself.”

Zeke holds his wrist before he can let go. “I know how to do it, but you just don't like it.”

“You suck at it.” He moves away as Zeke’s grip loosens.

“Just do it yourself then because I cannot stand you staring at my neck nervously.”

“Whatever,” Levi says, walking to his bag.

“Did you get to see Lady Snores-a-lot?”

“Yeah, I told her to come with but she refused.”

“Was she requested to shift on our way back?”

Levi puts his bag on top of the newspaper and sighs. “She doesn't know. She won’t avoid it either.”

“So diligent of her.”

“They are making her shift again, huh?” Levi asks.

Zeke only shrugs. There’s no need to answer that.

It's been raining and thundering on and off for the past weeks and Levi has heard the same story about the weather from every soldier; last month was too dry for too long and when that happens it's normal to rain constantly after that. Levi doesn't want to be in a plane during a thunderstorm.

Suffice it to say, he slept in Zeke's bed during the worst nights. He's not used to thunder at all and every time they happen he thinks the ceiling is going to fall down on them because that's exactly what it was like in the Underground. Rocks and mud would drop right on people's heads and houses without any way of predicting it, rumble echoing all across town. 

So he didn't sleep, technically. He just lay there all curled up under the covers and next to a warm body that would appease him. Zeke can speak for hours on end and he told Levi about the strongest and scariest storms he's seen as well as the most beautiful ones. The ones where the sky lights up in the distance and you can see in the dark for a slight second. He told Levi how he would enjoy these summer rains by just standing under it, letting it wet his clothes entirely. How he would pull Erwin under it to destroy his perfect hairdo and they would just run around and jump on puddles. He told Levi that there was one time he took a long way back home from school just to walk under the rain and that his father laughed once he saw him drenched. 

Levi wondered if he would start creating memories under the rain too. If that was his first memory of a rainy day. For now, the drizzle is just annoying as they walk from the car to the aircraft. One of the Tybur servants is waiting for him, his coat already wet.

“Lord Ackerman,” he says, pointing a hand to the boarding ladder.

“You'll catch a cold,” Levi tells him, stepping in quickly. “Get in here!”

“Lord Ackerman,” Zeke mutters, sitting next to him and taking his glasses off to dry the drops of water on them.

Levi shivers and brushes the wet hair away from his face. The loud rumble of the engines turning on and the vibrations set him on edge. He holds a tight grip on Zeke's raincoat.

“Easy, Lord Humanity's Strongest,” Zeke sneers, putting a hand on his knee.

“Imagine the headlines when I throw up all over the Beast titan’s face.”

“Why my face? Do it over his,” Zeke says, pointing at the servant.

“Leave Bert alone.”

The aircraft moves and Levi's legs tickle, his stomach gets lighter. “Shit.” He grumbles, pressing his face against Zeke's wet shoulder. 

“I need a haircut,” Zeke breathes out. He touches his hair, he touches his face. “I hope they let me go home once and for all. As much as I hate thinking in its rotten state.”

“When did you last visit?” Levi wonders if he will get to see Erwin, remembering the times he would touch Levi's forehead to check his fever.

“Over a year ago.”

“Your grandparents will be happy to see you,” Levi says, repressing all the questions he wants to ask. 

He doesn't want anyone to know he's talked to Erwin enough to know too much about the things Marley hides. Erwin told so many tales that Levi's afraid of mixing them up so he just makes sure to repeat the things Zeke and Mr Tybur have told him, pretending he’s clueless. 

“It scares me to think how old they will be,” Zeke says. “How different they will look.”

“Never met anyone older than Calvi.”

Zeke huffs. “They are much older,” he explains. “Sheldon, the tall freaky soldier, once told me that going back home to his grandparents was horrible. He moved out to a military residence as soon as he could. Poor guy couldn't stand that they looked like husks. He thought they were dead, like pure titans in human bodies, walking aimlessly.”

“Sheldon is a selfish prick. He should've helped them.”

“I don't know about that. Why would he?”

“They are his family.”

“They did nothing for him.”

Levi moves away, frowning. “The army did so much more for him,” he seethes. “Forcing him to do night watches for a whole month, making him stand up straight without breaking a sweat and only sleeping five hours while eating mashed vegetables with cheap wine for lunch and dinner. Yeah. I heard about Sheldon,” he says and watches Zeke’s stupid face, mouth agape. “He was punished for drinking a glass of water during his watch. He didn't get to go home to his grandparents sooner because he wasn't allowed. They didn’t let him go home because he was thirsty once and so they punished him for days.”

“Fine,” Zeke says in a low voice.

“Yeah, thank the army. Fuck old, useless people. All they do is suffer and miss their poor grandchildren fighting for an empty fucking dream.”

“Levi,” Zeke chides.

“Fucking dare to say something, frizzball,” Levi snaps back. “Bert here lives like a king next to those poor men and he's constantly cleaning the shit from rich children's underwear.”

“Lord Ackerman, please. Don't speak ill of your motherland.”

Levi clicks his tongue. He's not afraid of speaking ill of this awful country, especially not in an aircraft where no one else is around—it's not his motherland either. But he's aware his position and Bert's are very different. Levi will not be thrown to the streets, he will not be taken back to Paradis. They cannot inject him with serum either. Maybe for the first time in his life, he's on the right side of the streets. Bert, on his part, has a family to go back to—that he can only visit on Tuesdays. He cannot risk being helpful, defending, or agreeing with any of Levi's words.

Zeke makes sure the rest of the trip is not quiet at all. He snickers like an asshole, pretending like the atmosphere isn't tense, sharing stupid stories that took place during their time in the port. He's good at that. At pretending. At showing the side of him people want to see. He's good at changing subjects when an officer shows up and he's talking about things he shouldn't be. Levi's sure he pretends around him too. That he's not pleased with his position as captain of his squad. That he doesn't like tea because he surely prefers coffee. That he doesn't miss Erwin at all. And that he's afraid of seeing his grandparents because of how much they remind him of his parents.

Being in an aircraft when it moves so much is unsettling so listening to him talk nonstop is helpful to keep Levi's mind away from the turbulence anyway.

When they land, it's not raining anymore but it's windy and cold. Bert drives Levi and Zeke to the mansion because Lord Tybur wants to have a word with them apparently.

The children greet Levi with big smiles and rosy cheeks. They run towards him and hug his legs, making a little smile rise on his face. Bert takes their jackets and boots and they walk to the main hall, warmed by a cosy fireplace. Hot, great quality tea is waiting for them by a table as well as biscuits.

Zeke eats them all and they refill their cups once before Lord Tybur shows up. He's wearing one of his favourite home outfits, a white v-neck cashmere with white pants and those black and white patent leather shoes Levi hates. He's flamboyant and feminine in ways no one else in Marley is. But he's allowed. And after talking with Zeke, Levi understands why.

“My handsome boys!” Tybur exclaims, he puts each hand on their shoulders and squeezes. “After Tom and Pat, I thought I'd never get the chance to have more precious children, but you feel just like them.” He places a kiss on the crown of Zeke's head, making him huff a smile. He smirks at Levi.

“You flatter me, Lord Tybur,” he says.

“You two have been all over the news,” Tybur says. “Humanity's Strongest!”

“Quite a headline,” Zeke offers.

“Isn't it delightful? That siege was a total success. Levi, you did amazingly.”

“Over two hundred soldiers died,” Levi deadpans.

“Over a thousand will continue dying,” Tybur offers nonchalantly. “That's their job. Yours is to stay alive.”

“Don't worry, Lord Tybur. Levi was barely scratched. Were you even scratched?” Zeke asks.

He was, but it wasn't a big deal. He had a fever too but Zeke didn't think too much of it and dismissed it as something normal that didn't need attention. There were no cold hands to appease Levi's forehead so he never mentioned being lightheaded, either. Zeke was insistent they should do cleaning duty to avoid being scolded. 

Cleaning keeps Levi busy anyway and maybe Erwin pampered him too much, making him think it's a nice gesture to insist he stay in bed and do things for him. There's no reason people would do nice things for him if they were not expecting something in exchange.

Lord Tybur lets out an exasperated sigh. “Levi likes being feisty and stubborn,” he says.

“That's his charm.”

“Yes, he is charming. And handsome. It's so much easier to make it among the folk with a welcoming look.” Tybur puts a hand on his waist and shifts his other foot. “You're handsome, too,” he tells Zeke, brushing his hair. “Alas, I only have one daughter.”

“Thank you, my Lord. I do need a haircut.”

“Yes, that you do. Anyway,” he says, letting out another deep sigh in Levi's direction. His breath smells like mint. “You have a busy day tomorrow, Levi. I'm sorry to say your free time comes with a prize. We have a holiday trip coming up. You will enchant my daughter then so we can present you as a couple on our way back. Zeke,” he says, turning to him. “Please be here tomorrow for pictures. You are Levi's official best friend, his partner in crime, his… the Watson to his Sherlock, let's call it.”

Zeke chuckles, nodding, and Levi doesn't get it.

Lord Tybur leaves after kissing their heads again, and calling them his lovely adopted children. He tells Zeke that Bert will drive him back to HQ and Levi to go to bed early so that he's fresh for tomorrow. 

Levi can't complain, he craves a bath and the silence of his bedroom with every bone in his body.

They get up to let the help clean their leftovers and walk to the door.

“Why the long face?” Zeke asks after Bert walks out to the car. 

Levi frowns. He's tired and already exasperated about everything that will take place tomorrow.

“Don't look at me like that,” Zeke says, tilting his head, pouting. “I'm not forcing you to take pictures.”

“You will be unbearable tomorrow. And you need to shave already,” Levi says, holding Zeke's cheeks with a hand, squinting at the little hairs that peep on Zeke’s chin.

He smiles, pointy fangs showing. “I shaved this morning.”

“You're prickly,” Levi tells him, shoving his head.

Zeke chuckles, struggling to avoid Levi slapping him. “I'll never be able to grow a beard.”

They engage in a ridiculous fake fight that Levi easily wins by pushing him against the wall.

“Shit!” Zeke gasps, cackling. “Fuck, Levi, you're strong.”

Levi lets go and straightens up. “Don't let it grow,” he orders. “You'll look awful with a beard.”

“You like me like this?”

“No,” Levi says, adjusting Zeke's clothes because it's messed up from the tussling.

“Good,” Zeke tells him, smirking. “Because we're adopted brothers. We cannot fool around anymore.”

“I already help with your tie. I will not groom your nasty beard.”

“Why would you assume it'll be nasty?”

“I slept with you.”

Zeke hums. “I wish,” he breathes out, smirking. He reaches Levi's chin with his thumb and Levi slaps it away quickly.

It's not normal for Zeke to touch him so blatantly. He would normally rest a hand on Levi's waist while sharing the bed. But he mostly holds Levi's wrist or squeezes his shoulder. He rarely brushes Levi's hair back. He never caresses his chin. It makes Levi uncomfortable and mad and ashamed because he only now realises the double meaning of what he just said.

“Mr Yeager?” Bert is at the door.

“Good night, Levi,” Zeke says.

“Yeah,” he answers, turning around and walking away.

The flash is blinding and Levi’s got a smudged spot in his eyesight that he cannot blink away. The photographer changes the flashbulb and Levi sighs, changing poses. Tybur says he looks gorgeous with a hand on his waist. The photographer makes Levi pose while drinking tea too so that he looks natural and regal. He can’t complain about the clothes though, he really likes them. He loves this bowtie cravat and the black suit, how silky and soft the shirt and pants are. He’s also got a little lapel chain with raven wings on it, apparently the assigned sigil for the Ackerman clan.

They are putting Zeke by his side now, saying they are the undefeatable team. Humanity’s Strongest and The Beast. Marley’s future. Tybur spits out names endlessly until Levi stops listening. He doesn’t like the attention and the exposure and he has to suppress every urge to make a face, to ruin the picture. They can only take so many but this time, the photographer’s got a big box of flashbulbs so he knows it won’t be over soon. 

Besides, Zeke loves it. He loves photographs in general and says they are too expensive so he’s rarely in any. He’s too excited to see himself in the newspaper and Tybur doesn't stop preaching how gorgeous he is, how delicate his nose looks, and how manly his jaw will show. 

The more pictures they take, the touchier Zeke gets. First, he was just by his side, then he put a hand on Levi’s back, then on his waist. Now, he’s wrapped an arm around Levi’s shoulder and is leaning on him. He rests his cheek on his head; he kisses his hair, making everyone laugh, saying how much he loves his new little brother. Finally, he pinches Levi’s cheek and the children crack up. 

It’s torture.

“Wonderful, just wonderful,” Tybur says, offering a delicate clap and looking around, trying to get the approval of the family and Magath.

His wife smiles politely and nods but says nothing, she barely says anything on a regular day. Lara is like her that way, Levi’s fiance-to-be. She’s sitting by the window and reading a book, she’s shy and hates the attention just as much; she doesn't overstep or try to engage with Levi either. She probably hates this as much as he does. 

The little kids, on the other hand, don’t understand any of this and love having people over, and have things to do. They are spoiled and loud and not very clever at all. Levi’s barely seen their parents caring for them during his stay in this house, unlike Bert and the other servants who are helping them change and wash as well as teaching them classes. They don’t go to school or have any friends, only each other and that just breaks Levi’s heart.

“Do you think we could have the other boy over?” Tybur asks Magath. “Smith, was it?”

Levi’s chest stings; he avoids his body from showing it with all his strength as he poses for another picture with Zeke.

“Erwin Smith,” Magath offers. “He’s been suspended and won’t be available for another three months.”

“Suspended? From bringing Levi Ackerman from the island of devils?” Tybur asks. It doesn't make sense that he doesn't know this, so he’s clearly playing. “Don't you think that’s a bit unnecessary, Theo?”

“Officers and soldiers report seeing him disregarding direct orders and killing two Eldians that would’ve been important for extraction.” 

Levi clenches his teeth and balls his fists; there’s nothing he’d like more in this hellhole country than slicing Sergeant Gerst's throat, slowly and painfully. The simple mention of Farlan and Isabel makes Levi's lungs itch. The images of them falling to the ground after being shot in the head are hard to get away from. Levi spent countless nights thinking about sneaking into Gerst's office to do the job, he's sure he could do it without anybody ever noticing. He just needs to find the right time.

“If you allow me, sir,” Zeke says. “I very much doubt Erwin would do such a thing.”

“I know Erwin very well, Yeager,” Magath tells him. “I do not believe he would kill people to begin with unless his life was a steak; least of all two Eldians that would’ve provided important information to the cause. Especially not considering they were Ackerman’s crew.”

Levi avoids looking back at them but can feel Magath’s eyes digging holes into his skin. Magath likes talking about him like he’s not in the room and he doesn't enjoy Levi’s lack of military courtesy and protocol.

“I’d like to make an official invitation, yes?” Tybur says. “The boy might not be a Warrior, but he’s the one that brought Marley’s strongest war asset back home.”

“I’m afraid that will not be possible. He’s prohibited from leaving the Internment Zone until his suspension is lifted.”

“Oh, Theo, my god!” Tybur exclaims.

The photographer changes the flashbulbs and Zeke holds Levi’s hand behind his back.

“Your hair smells nice,” he whispers and Levi elbows him.

“I will go to his house personally, then,” Tybur says. “And take pictures there. Would you prefer that? So that the world can see where a simple Eldian lives?”

“Do not push it, Alex,” Magath mutters.

“Lovers’ quarrel,” Zeke whispers under his breath, and another flash blinds Levi.

“Then bring him home. You can pick him up and drive him here yourself. Then take him back. I promise I will not be inquisitive.”

“You do not help your case by lying, Alex. Smith will not be allowed to Liberio Headquarters, unfortunately,” Magath says.

Levi swallows around his dry throat.

“Elaborate, darling. Don't play inquisitive games with me,” Tybur answers.

“Once he gets back to duty, he will be transferred to another city as part of his punishment. He's forbidden to get back to the Paradis project as well as the battlefield.”

Tybur lets out a deep sigh and says, “Pity.” But doesn’t insist. Instead, he starts putting an end to this. He tells his family to leave and the photographer to pack. Levi’s finally allowed to leave the room and he nods Zeke goodbye, who was only Tybur 's plaything for a couple of hours and now has to get back to HQ with Magath.

Levi walks up the stairs, smelling Zeke’s limey cologne on him and grumbling. He thought Erwin would be back eventually, that he would be able to see him once he came back from the holiday trip that Tybur planned. He feels as though Erwin is the only thing that still connects him to home, the only one who truly knows what he left behind. Without him, it feels as though the memories of Isabel and Farlan get lost more and more as days go by. Erwin is gentle and understanding to the point of being annoying, but at least he’s not smug and he doesn’t overstep. Levi was really looking forward to writing some more but Zeke has never offered his pen or a piece of paper. He treats Levi like a toy as much as everyone around while Erwin treats him so differently Levi can't even pinpoint what it is. 

Once inside his bedroom, Levi locks the door. He walks to his dressing table and opens the first drawer, taking it out entirely. He kneels on the floor, reaches with his hand to the far end of the drawer slot, and takes out his only true personal and precious possessions. He holds Isabel’s trinket between his fingers and lets his eyes get watery. Then he unfolds the piece of paper with her and Farlan’s names on it. This is what makes Levi think Erwin treats him differently than anyone else, the secret is in this paper and trinket. Maybe one day Levi will find a name for it but for now, he knows this is the reason he's following along with all these charades. Erwin asked him to be patient, he told Levi it would take time almost as if he knew they would be set apart, that it would look like everything was falling apart. Levi can wait, he's endured worse.

Chapter Text

A year ago - Sailing back to Marley

Erwin never thought he’d see Levi sleeping so peacefully. After spending so many days walking around the forests of Eldia, escaping from titans, suspicious of one another, he can finally see that Levi somewhat trusts him. He trusts him enough to sleep deeply through the night. Maybe he realises that the soldiers on this ship who kicked and punched him are different from Erwin, who is taking care of his wounds instead.

They’ve been at sea for six days now yet home has never felt so far. Maybe home is a concept too abstract to understand fully. How can he feel at home in a land where everyone despises him? Is it home because his father is there? Because that’s where he was born? Or is it home because that’s all he knows? Paradis was the first place he was ever able to feel free, with all the risks it meant to be there. Could he ever feel at home there?

Erwin jots down everything he remembers that he’s allowed to; he would usually write down so much more and then continue to burn every piece of paper to avoid anyone ever finding it. Writing it down makes it real, it feels good, but no one else should ever read any of it. On this ship, he’s not as free to burn papers without drawing attention to himself so he refrains from writing things he shouldn’t. He’s only writing out of spite at this point too, not because he has to, the officers will barely read these, but because he’s been meaning to hold a pen for so long.

Paradis has been an experience he can’t wait to repeat, and Levi is the greatest treasure he could hope to find there. If things go as Erwin expects they will be fighting Marley’s war together; they will be able to train together, to get ready for what’s to come. If things go sideways, Erwin fears they might take Levi away from him. It’s not recognition Erwin wants from this. He wants Levi by his side because, with his strength, their people might finally be able to be free from this curse. Erwin won’t let anyone take Levi away from him now, and after everything they went through, he hopes Levi will remain by his side until the end.

Now - Marley Headquarters

Back on duty, Erwin feels giddy. It's been too long since he last stepped on HQ premises. Last time he was here a year ago he was beaten until his lips swelled and bled until his eyes got so puffy he could barely see. He was thrown in jail and cuffed to a bed. He was barely allowed to eat, though he wasn't able to swallow anything either way. Then he was expected to say thank you and walk home with his tail between his legs—and so he did.

Now, the atmosphere almost reminds him of those first days of getting back to school, only now he's not sitting in the principal's office to receive congratulations for having great grades or being asked to sponsor another student who needs help. He's in his general's office and not to be scolded alone. Magath isn't pleased with Erwin like he used to be; he's been cold and unwelcoming, or at least that's how he's trying to come off. But Erwin doesn't think Magath would've personally shown up to his house months ago to talk to him if he was mad. He wouldn't have tried to find a way around Erwin's punishment to keep him close. Erwin wouldn't have been able to stay in Liberio.

Still, Magath’s frowning and moving papers around, pretending to ignore Erwin when he's supposed to update him and give him tasks to get back in action. He needs to start training again; he's been exercising at home and jogging around the internment zone but he's notably out of shape. Ever since he was in jail, he lost a lot of weight and muscle he hasn't been able to get fully back. He's also grown quite a lot in this past year and this uniform doesn't fit as well as it once did, reminding him of the time he wore a stolen uniform in Paradis.

Regardless, Erwin doesn't speak first, well aware of his position in this place. He sits straight with his hands over his thighs and looks around. Not much has changed in Magath’s office. There are new whiskey bottles by the liquor cabinet but the general hasn’t sent the curtains to be washed and someone has left a stain on the couch underneath. Most importantly, there’s a new medal of military merit on Magath's suit; an irregular triangle pointing downward suspended from a green ribbon with three narrow red stripes. He was awarded that one for leading the infiltration in Paradis, especially because it resulted in Levi becoming a part of Marley's military today. He has become one of the country’s greatest war assets. Erwin and his father have been diligently reading the newspapers every morning like they never did before. 

The news is usually never good or interesting, sometimes it’s not even true, but when it comes to Levi it doesn't matter; his great performance on the battlefield is unmatched and Erwin's sure all of that is true. Sadly, it is all-encompassed with just little silly articles about Levi’s private life, things purely written for propaganda so that he's not connected to Eldians at all and is instead loved by the common people of Marley. They managed to accomplish that, considering how much everyone cheers for him at public presentations and how many posters with Levi's face Erwin has seen on the streets. He still doubts Levi has told the press that his favourite colour is green and his favourite gem is zircon; that he enjoys the occasional biscuit with his tea while listening to jazz but he enjoys dancing to swing music much more. Erwin can tell that all of that is made up, either by the yellow press or the Tyburs—or both. He can’t, as much as he tries, imagine Levi sharing this information with the press to begin with, least of all any of it being true. Levi paying attention to gems and colours? To posh people’s hobbies? It’s laughable.

In any case, Levi dressed in luxury clothes is insanely striking. There's something about seeing him looking so regal and surrounded by opulence that gets Erwin's chest all tingly. He’s been keeping all the pieces of news by his bedside and has been looking at them every afternoon and night since the first article came out. He doesn’t know why, he’s not sure what he’s doing. He wonders if he’s proud of having achieved this feat of bringing an Ackerman back alive or if he also misses Levi quite a bit, that little friendship they were able to build on the ship—which is surely ruined by how long it’s been since they’ve last seen each other. Erwin couldn't help but laugh at that one picture of Zeke kissing Levi's head. The headline was: “Tybur's new favourite adopted children”. Zeke is perfect for that role considering he never takes anything seriously. He must be having the time of his life working with an Ackerman after spending these years talking and reading about them in their free time. Erwin can't wait to see him so it was nice hearing about him—though he wants to see Levi the most. Even Erwin’s father was happy to see Zeke was doing well too, missing how he would usually come over for dinner, or even spend the night once they were free from HQ duty.

“You will be teaching the trainees,” Magath finally says, breaking the silence. “You're still our highest capable marksman. I want you to handle the shooting range. That's all I can do for you. Having you here will already call too much attention. I will have to answer for you so I cannot have you assisting meetings anymore. Do you understand?”

“I do, sir,” Erwin answers with a curt nod. “I'm grateful for this opportunity.”

“You're not. They did a number on you.” Magath’s voice is leveled and he’s frowning. If he’s working really hard to pretend he hates Erwin, there’s no way to tell. But their relationship is not in the same place it once was.

“I overstepped,” Erwin says. “I should've known better.”

“I want to hear it straight, Erwin,” Magath orders firmly. “What happened on that damned island?”

“Sir, are you requesting a full report?” Magath is not a fan of paperwork. He probably didn't read a word Erwin wrote. That's one of the reasons Erwin's always been so valuable, he reads and makes summaries, writes reports. Most importantly, he has patience. He was able to build enough respect around generals to be heard, he managed to prepare an invasion, sneaking into the enemy country; he waited months, analysing the enemy’s culture and ways until he found Levi and then he waited some more, until he was ready to catch Levi by surprise, to convince him to leave with him. Magath is only sharp on the battlefield and hates having to sit here in this office. 

“You will tell me every little detail when we have time,” Magath says, dismissing him with a gesture of the hand. “Right now, I want to know how you managed to bring someone as reluctant, stubborn, and violent as Ackerman with you.”

Erwin clears his throat nervously. It's a weird request and it's a dangerous conversation. He's sure Levi hasn't spilled any beans about their time together but that doesn't make him feel less on edge. 

“Ackerman is all of the things you mentioned, sir,” Erwin says. “It was not easy to capture him. We threatened his friend's life at first. The young girl was important to him. Private Guterberg managed to hurt her and that gave us the advantage.”

Magath tilts his head. “You did not hold her at gunpoint for a whole month, I take it.”

“No, sir. Once we were able to get out of the Underground, it was easier to deceive them. Being outside was a thrilling experience for them and so was leaving the walls. It was easy to invite them to live a new life. They never had goals. We promised them a spot in the military, warm food, and hot showers.” Erwin thinks for a moment, regret bitter on his tongue as he adds, “We promised them a life.”

Magath visibly licks around his mouth before letting out a deep sigh. He looks down at the papers on the table and scratches his stubble. “Ackerman doesn't seem to be interested in luxury according to Alex's experience. He does well with it nonetheless.”

“Ackerman wasn't interested at all in any of this. I daresay his current living conditions came unexpectedly,” Erwin offers and Magath clearly hates to agree. “It's only because of his friends that we managed to take him to the shore. The night the ship took off, he tried to kill me.”

Magath frowns. “Go on.”

“He punched me in the stomach and threw me to the ground. I had already received a beating from some soldiers. My nose was broken. Ackerman proceeded to punch my face some more.”

“But he didn't kill you.”

“He was feverish and also hurt, he had been fighting with several soldiers only hours prior to this. I believe he was weak, or perhaps he just lost interest. He mentioned there was no point in killing all of us.”

“Who are 'all of you'?” Magath asks.

“The ship crew, sir.”

“He wanted to kill the whole crew?”

“He could've,” Erwin asserts. “I think his target was Gerst.”

“He shot the kids.”

“Yes, sir,” Erwin answers. He can’t remember Isabel’s face anymore and it haunts him. It haunts him how easily he forgot the people he was supposed to take care of. He’s terrified of the man he’s become because of it.

Magath nods curtly. “Gerst is in Slava now. As you know, we need that land for strategic positioning. Diplomats are trying to reach a peaceful arrangement. They will surrender without any more bloodshed and he will stay there as he has been promoted to lieutenant general.”

This works in Erwin's favour, is what Magath is trying to say.

“Nonetheless, I cannot promise you as bright a future as I once did. You've risked too much. You've risked yourself, you've risked our mission,” Magath seethes. “You played an adult game you can barely understand.”

Erwin spares a look at the new bright medal on Magath's suit before looking back at him.

“Don't play smart with me,” Magath says through gritted teeth. “You were irresponsible and got lucky.”

“I was, sir,” Erwin says, biting back a smile.

“And worst of all, I had to deal with Yeager all by myself,” he spits out.

“I'm here now, sir.”

“Now,” Magath scoffs. “You're cocky now, is what you are. In over your head. No punishment will take that pride away. You may think you've succeeded, that you've accomplished something, but you're still a devil born from sin and sickness. Don’t you forget that.”

Erwin doesn’t think he ever will. “Yes, sir,” he answers firmly.

“I can never trust you again,” Magath tells him, but the fact that he's saying it out loud already proves so much to the contrary.

“I'll do whatever it takes, sir.”

“Keep to yourself, train the kids,” Magath directs and Erwin nods. “Stay away from Ackerman.”

“Yes… sir.” It’s a weird request, an annoying one, and Erwin doesn’t like it one bit.

Magath tries to give veracity to his words by not inviting Erwin to a cigarette or a cup of coffee as he used to. Instead, he makes Erwin watch him do all that by himself as he moves papers around, signs some, and then hands them to Erwin so that he can start working with the trainees. 

The cold morning air feels good when he steps outside. He doesn't mind being scolded in the slightest, especially not when the results speak for themselves. Maybe he's used to not getting recognition for what he does but it’s not a medal that he needs. He’s here, even after being punched and kicked, punished and jailed, threatened to be taken elsewhere, to be removed from duty. He’s here, meeting with his general and back to work. That’s more than enough.

First things first, he needs to request a new uniform so he walks to the supply department with Magath's authorization and asks for a bigger size.

“Erwin!” someone calls. It’s a seamstress whose name Erwin cannot recall.

“Morning, ma’am,” he answers with a smile as he hands in the request for a new uniform.

“It’s Lina,” she says and Erwin nods politely, he had no clue. She walks to the clothing rack to pick up the clothes. “Word on the street was you were not coming back.” She’s visibly chewing gum. 

“I’m only here because General Magath found some use for my skills. I will not be able to be helpful on the battlefield, I’m afraid.” He’s waiting for Lina to hand over the uniform but she’s holding it against her chest.

“Amelie told me that you’re staying with your father in block two?”

Erwin feels heat spreading up his neck. So that’s where Lina knows him from. He’s always heard that women talk but he’s never experienced it first-hand. “Yes. Always have,” he offers.

“I live close by, would you walk me home tonight?”

“Of course, Lina. I would love to.” He wouldn’t, but he’s too polite to say so. He needs to learn to say no. “May I?” he motions for his uniform and Lina finally lets go. 

In the past year, everything seems to have changed around here. Erwin was looking forward to walking home with Zeke but he understands that may not even be a possibility now. He steps into a restroom to change his clothes and shivers under the cold fabric but it’s a relief to wear a shirt that’s not tight around his shoulders and shoes that don’t hurt his toes.

Curious to see what has changed around the premises, he takes a detour on his way to the training field. He first visits the cafeteria and waves at the soldiers cleaning the counter; they have always been nice to him and tell him it was about time he came back. He walks past the prisoner cells. He spent a lot of time there before being dismissed. Then he strides across the road on his way to the armoury, only to realize Magath hasn't given him his new permits now that they have been restored. So Erwin turns around on his spot and gets back to the main HQ building.

The first floor is already filled with a lot more soldiers who weren't here half an hour ago, most of them barely look at Erwin and he can’t say he recognises them anyway. Ever since Marley officially started a war with the rest of the continent several new soldiers have reported for duty. Up the stairs, Erwin finds that Magath's office is empty, the door wide open. He tries to look for him elsewhere only to overhear him and Officer Meyer sharing a few words over coffee in the small kitchen nearby.

“Gerst could not make use of a good soldier even if it was Ackerman,” Meyer says.

“He missed a big opportunity in Slava,” Magath answers. “We should thank him for being stupid enough to stay there and out of our way.”

Erwin looks behind him and around, stepping a bit closer to the door.

“When will Tybur be out of our fucking way?” Meyer asks.

“He won't be,” Magath answers, “not while he holds Ackerman in his family.”

“That bastard boy is a shame for this nation.”

“Sadly, that's not what the government sees.”

Erwin was sure everyone would hate Levi for being a devil yet he was taken by the only respected Eldian family in the whole country. Now the government takes care of him and the Military is too jealous of that. He can imagine how hurt Magath is for being forced to treat an Eldian respectfully. 

“And they aren't even getting him married?” Meyer scoffs. “How are we supposed to make use of his blood if he's not reproducing?”

“I have raised this issue myself,” Magath answers. “That boy needs to breed, even if it means forcing him to do it in a cup. He's not trustworthy, and we win nothing if he dies without heritage.”

“He's pretty enough, he could impregnate half this damn country,” Mayer says, chuckling and Erwin’s disgusted.

“Too pretty, twisted even,” Magath offers, sounding bitter as ever.

Meyer keeps laughing. “Maybe Alexander wants him all for himself then.”

Erwin steps back before he runs out of luck. His stomach hurts from the things Levi would have gone through had the military put his hands on him before Alexander Tybur did. There’s no way to tell if this private exchange between Magath and Meyer will go any further if they were to elevate this idea to the government, so Erwin thinks the best thing would at least be to put this information in the right hands. If Magath insists enough, Lord Tybur might see himself forced to marry Levi sooner than expected, maybe even take him off the battlefield to procreate. It’s primitive and sick; it makes Erwin’s stomach churn from just thinking they want to treat Levi like an animal, to use him and force him into having offspring just to strengthen Marley’s power. That’s not the reason Erwin travelled across the sea and went through near-death experiences. He doesn't want Levi to be used and thrown away like garbage. He’s sure the Tybur plans are nowhere near close to this monstrosity or else they would’ve started to impose that on Levi already. Lord Tybur’s objective is political, it’s propaganda; he’s trying to get the name of his family out there and Levi will help tremendously with that. If the military gets their degenerate hands on Levi they could ruin it all; for Levi, the Tyburs, and Erwin’s main objective. 

The problem now is that he has no idea where on the premises Levi is located. All he knows is where his old-time friend has been residing. So he walks outside and returns to the supply department on the ground floor.

“Lina, darling,” he says, smiling wide and winning a smile back. 

She skips towards him and leans over the counter. “Yeah?”

“Would you be so kind as to lend me a piece of paper and a pen?” he asks, leaning forward too.

“Oh, sure thing,” she says and takes what he requests from under the counter.

Erwin leans on his elbow and holds the pen to write but he wouldn’t want her to read this.

“I’ve been out of duty for so long,” he tells her as he jolts the message down. “But we could drop by for a beer before getting home tonight, what do you think?” he asks, getting their faces closer. 

She smiles, her breath smells like strawberries and cigarettes. 

“Is the Wooden Tavern still popular?” he asks.

She chuckles, chewing on some gum as Erwin scribbles away. “We go to Longman’s pub now.”

“We should go there,” he says, leaving the pen down and folding the paper. “What do you say?”

“Love to.” She smiles wider and he winks.

It’s uncomfortable and makes his stomach feel weird but he’s seen Zeke do that and it paid off so he leaves. He picks up his pace and goes through the HQ corridors to where Zeke’s office is. And he hopes he is, in fact, there. 

The third floor smells musty and it’s filled with cigarette smoke. Erwin walks by several officers smoking in the lounge area, laughing and enjoying their free hours before the training and meetings begin. At the end of the corridor is where Warrior Captains usually work, they are given the smallest office no one uses, but at least they get one. Ksavier, Zeke's successor, was never in his office, though it makes sense considering Ksavier’s Beast was a goat and he never excelled in anything other than playing catch so he never had any diligence in war.

“Is this the way to the Captain's Beast office?” Erwin asks playfully out loud as he approaches. He fears an officer might already be here and wonders how he can share this paper as anonymously as possible. “May I speak to the saviour of Marley?” he jests, opening the door.

There’s dead silence as he comes in to find Zeke by the window…

And Levi by the desk. “Erwin,” he calls. He’s sitting on the edge, gripping it with his hands.

By the window, Zeke doesn't move for some reason, staring at something he cannot take his eyes away from.

“I… was—Zeke, is everything alright?” Erwin asks and it’s exasperating how easily he loses his speech in front of Levi. He almost forgot this used to happen. He cannot speak in full sentences. 

Zeke huffs, turning around and pulling a cigarette out of his front pocket. “If it isn’t the luckiest man on earth himself,” he says.

Erwin looks over his shoulder as he listens to some officers behind him approaching and speeds up to meet Zeke, putting the piece of paper inside the pocket where he keeps the cigarettes. Then he hugs him tightly. Zeke reciprocates, chuckling and places a strong kiss on his temple before shaking him.

“My man,” Zeke breathes out, pulling away. 

“What is going on here?” Officer Meyer asks.

“Look at you!” Zeke tells Erwin. “So handsome I could kiss you!” He holds strongly onto Erwin’s cheeks before letting go.

“Is this how you receive your commanding officer?” Meyer exclaims, frowning and they both stand straight for a salute. Levi doesn’t move from his spot in the slightest.

“Apologies, sir,” Zeke says, losing his posture quickly and taking the cigarette to his mouth. “You must understand, I haven’t seen my friend in almost a year.”

“Ackerman,” Meyer calls.

“What.”

“Have some respect for your superiors, being rich here means nothing. Stand up straight.”

Levi clicks his tongue, moving away from the desk and puts a hand on his waist.

“What is this? A devil's reunion?” Meyer scoffs. “Smith, get back to work,” he orders.

“Please allow us this misstep, sir,” Zeke exclaims,  shaking Erwin’s shoulder. “I still can’t believe Smith actually made it, he’s alive!”

Erwin finds Levi’s eyes looking back at him and averts his gaze quickly.

“Stubborn and stupid, but smart and suicidal enough,” Zeke says, giving Erwin’s back a few palms. “Now, if you excuse me.” Zeke turns around to light his cigarette by the window.

“Sir,” Erwin says, clearing his throat. “General Magath has assigned me to the training grounds.”

“Congratulations,” the officer deadpans. “What of it?”

“I believe training doesn't begin until another hour,” Erwin says, smelling burnt paper.

“You’re wrong. Training starts first thing in the morning, you’re running late,” Meyer says. “Now scram.”

Erwin salutes. “Yes, sir.” 

He takes a quick look at Levi before walking away and regrets it. He feels itchy. He balls his fists and takes a deep breath. He should’ve used the chance to look at him a bit more. Levi’s changed, in a good way, and it is different to see him in person than in pictures. He looks grown up. Erwin wonders if he looks grown up himself as he walks the corridor and down the stairs. He feels stupid for not talking to Levi at all and weird about seeing him. He barely notices he’s out of the premises until he crashes with another soldier and apologises. He keeps walking, mind running off Levi. Just Levi. Leaning against the desk, wearing Marleyan clothes, disrespecting authorities, saying Erwin's name out loud.

The images keep playing back in his head while he steps into the shooting rage and not even the loud sound of guns firing helps. He even forgot to request his gun permit so he won’t be practicing himself at all. Erwin tells the twelve-year-old future warriors how to hold a rifle, how to disarm it and how to clean it. He times them and sets an objective. He tells them how to breathe and he asks them to empty their bags of bullets while thinking of Levi’s dark hair and the way he still refuses to wear a tie. 

Gabi, Zofia, Udo and Falco come to him for a hug, they are happy to see him and tell him he’s amazing for facing devils with his own hands. Gabi asks what Levi is really like. She’s not sure if she hates him or not and Erwin can only say he’s the greatest warrior the nation will ever have. She wants to meet him but never has the chance because they are forced to stay in this part of the field with the kids—she wants to be with the adults. 

Erwin has lunch with them and tells them he knows practically nothing about Levi; he hasn't seen him in a year but that he’s sure all the tales from the newspaper are real considering Levi is as strong and fast as they say. He talks about ODM gear and climbing the walls and pretends it doesn't hurt him to hear Gabi saying how disgusting it must’ve been to be near devils and how glad she’s that the other two Eldian kids died.

During the evening, Erwin takes Lina out for dinner as promised. They drink beer while he wonders what Levi does at night; if he gets bored alone in his room or if he gets along with his new family, if they take him to parties or if he’s even interested in Lara Tybur at all. 

After Erwin and Lina get tipsy, she takes him to her bedroom and Erwin finds out she wears a pink silk chemise under her uniform. She’s quiet though not shy. They have sex twice before her parents get back home and he leaves through the window.

At home, his father immediately asks him everything about his first day back in HQ and Erwin doesn't hesitate to spill all that he's been through. He’s thrilled to talk about Levi, he’s been waiting to see his dad and do exactly that all day because telling the Warrior kids about him was not enough. He tells his father about Magath’s orders and ideas, that Levi looks fit and healthy, that he’s still as unapproachable as always, that he disrespected Officer Meyer without a second thought. Unfortunately, Erwin knows that just as Gabi mentioned, being on the other side of the training fields with the kids means not seeing Levi often and maybe just waving at him from afar. Magath did tell him to keep away from him, but it did not sound like he was forbidden to talk to Levi. 

It’s late so after they talked enough, Erwin steps into his shower to take Lina's perfume off of him. The idea of being able to see Levi again makes him feel giddy. Not being able to see him in action is unfortunate but Erwin's hopeful that Magath won't let that punishment go as far as leaving him out of the war for too long. Erwin would be as helpful on the battlefield as he would be in the tactical planning sessions and Magath knows that.

He dries up and gets dressed before stepping into his cold bedroom. It's midnight, and he has to wake up in five hours to return to HQ. He surely isn't inviting anybody out for dates again tomorrow or else he won't be sharp enough for work all week. He doesn't want to sleep at this point. He closes the window to avoid letting the bedroom get any colder and switches on his night lamp to read something and check the newspaper once again. 

But then a shadow moves.

“Holy—” He exclaims, thinking the worst. Either he's being spied on or the secret police got into his place. But it's none of that. “Heavens... Levi? You—” 

“Hey,” Levi answers softly, throwing his jacket over the bed. He's wearing striped high pants with suspenders and a white shirt.

“What—” Erwin clears his throat. “What are you doing here? You startled me.”

“I'm not that ugly to look at,” he says, crossing his arms. He looks like he just stepped out of a fancy dinner party.

Erwin huffs a laugh as the shivers in his body ease down. “You're not at all... I'm just... as happy to see you as I am concerned.”

“I thought you weren't coming back.”

“I thought so too for a minute... but I got lucky,” Erwin answers.

“Zeke says you talked your way back to HQ.”

“Zeke knows me too well,” Erwin answers, chuckling. He makes a gesture to invite Levi to sit but he doesn't move so Erwin doesn't either.

“So what did you say to them?”

Erwin smiles, finding the question funny. “Nothing. Magath didn't want me gone to begin with. We were able to discuss it and he told me Gerst doesn't want me anywhere close but he's dealing with other matters now and I'm no Warrior so I could rejoin the army in the training fields.”

“Magath hates me.”

“He's not... He's—” Erwin takes a deep breath to get his head straight. “Nobody likes Eldians, Levi,” he breathes out. “And you come from the land he swore to destroy.”

“You always defend him,” Levi says, walking towards the bookcase.

“I do not,” Erwin answers sternly while Levi browses his bibliography. “I don't think you should be here.”

“It’s ok, they won’t notice.”

Erwin frowns. “Levi, this is too dangerous. What if anyone asks questions?”

“I'll tell Tybur I was fucking some girl around here,” he offers. “Isn't that what you do?”

Erwin's stomach churns, he clears his throat, feeling his neck on fire. “Wh… what? I—”

“Every night soldiers go out and get laid. Isn't that right? It's all they talk about.”

“But that's... Wh... Aren't you engaged to his daughter?”

Levi shrugs curtly. “Men can do as they please here.”

“That's…” Awfully correct, Erwin thinks.

Levi walks back in front of Erwin and steps a bit closer. “Erwin,” he says, putting a hand on his waist. “Did you know that there's no such thing as being gay?”

Erwin frowns. Levi’s questions are always so interesting and out of place.

“I mean… In Paradis,” he explains, looking right at him. “The word doesn't exist, did you know that?”

“No,” Erwin answers. “What—why are you bringing this up?”

“Zeke told me... that I'm gay.”

“Levi, that's very personal and you shouldn't let anyone tell you that—”

“No, idiot. I'm saying I am gay,” he explains. “It's just not such a big deal… back there on the island.”

“Oh,” is all Erwin can say. He sort of knew this about Levi from context and conversations they had, but never gave it any thought. “Oh,” he repeats. “Ok, I see. It makes sense though. There are several things that have influenced our culture so sexuality is given some importance—”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Levi dismisses him with a gesture of the hand. “You're all idiots.”

Erwin chuckles and swallows around his dry throat. He looks down to the floor and tries to stop his leg from shaking. Homosexuality is not forbidden in Marley, as much as it is an old-fashioned country. But the truth is that the military would still not appreciate knowing any of this at all.

“You don't think being gay is wrong?” Levi asks.

“N... No, Levi,” Erwin answers, looking back up. “I believe it's very personal. I wouldn't dare to build an opinion without any experience or understanding.”

“So you don't—”

“Erwin?” His father calls, knocking on the open door.

“Dad.”

“Oh my… Levi,” he says, stepping in.

“Yes, Dad. He's Levi Ackerman.”

“Unprecedented. Unparalleled,” his father breathes out and his eyes flicker.

“Dad, please.” Erwin chuckles. “Don't embarrass him.”

“Evening, Mr Smith,” Levi says and it might just be the first time Erwin's heard him being polite.

“Oh, please. Call me Tobias.”

“That's weird as fuck. I'm not doing that,” Levi answers.

His father laughs and so does Erwin, it feels appropriate.

“You're just like every tale I read as much as every detail Erwin mentioned.”

“Dad,” Erwin chides. He's probably never felt this embarrassed and doesn't want Levi to know how much he talked about him. His stomach feels weird for the hundredth time today.

“I'm afraid that… as much as I enjoy your being here. It might be risky,” his father says softly.

“I understand, sir. I'll be leaving now.”

“May I?” His father asks, extending his hand and Levi shakes it. “It's a pleasure.”

“Likewise, sir.”

Erwin frowns at how little he recognises Levi at this very moment and huffs a laugh.

“Did you get in by the window?” Erwin asks as soon as his father leaves, closing the door.

“Yeah.”

“Is there a car waiting for you somewhere?”

“Right by the main gates. This place isn't as bad as you put it out to be,” he says. It doesn't look like he has any intentions of leaving.

“I can't believe you came all the way here. I was really looking forward to seeing you,” Erwin tells him, balling his fists.

“Yeah?”

Erwin nods, he’s so giddy he forgets he should be worried about Levi’s presence. “Of course. Everything happened so quickly and nothing turned out the way I planned.”

“They did you nasty.”

“They did,” Erwin breathes out. “But I've heard you're living a good life so it was better than expected.”

“You'll be in HQ now.”

“Yes. We might cross paths again,” Erwin answers with a smile he can't hold back. Somehow he feels his fears of losing Levi’s friendship fading away. It all feels like a comeback to their time on that ship back from Paradis and how they were able to talk to each other without anything holding them back.

“Erwin,” Levi says, taking a step forward. “Would you hold me?”

“What… why… what for—” Erwin stutters as Levi gets closer to wrap his arms around his waist. The scent of his hair is somehow still the same even under his new fancy shampoo and cologne.

“I just need a hug,” Levi says, pressing his head against Erwin's chest.

Erwin lifts his hands and places them on Levi's shoulders, barely. It's weird being so uncomfortable after literally hugging Zeke so tight this morning but their friendship goes on for years and tonight has been too packed with drinks, girls, intimacy, gossip and now Levi.

When Erwin finds Levi looking up at him and suddenly standing on his toes, he looks away to pull them apart. It almost feels as if Levi keeps moving towards him until he finally eases off.

“Yeah,” Levi breathes out.

“It's… late, Levi.”

“Come to Zeke's office tomorrow,” he answers, walking to the window.

“I can't, I shouldn't have been there to begin with. Are you…? Would you like to use the front door?”

“No,” Levi says, opening the window. “Don't leave me alone again,” are his last words before he steps over and jumps out.

Chapter Text

Erwin's waiting by the main gates in HQ right after the last security checkpoint. He barely got any sleep last night after Levi's surprise visit. He forgot his jacket on Erwin’s bed and he decided to leave it there all night and all morning, filling his room with a very distinct smell. He wouldn’t be able to return it in plain sight so it felt like a souvenir—even an excuse. Today, Erwin decided to show up early and use that extra time to see his friend instead of his general. It’s not like Magath looks for him anymore.

When Levi arrives in the latest Rolls-Royce Phantom update, Erwin's jaw drops. He has only seen that car in the newspaper ads and always wondered who would be able to afford something like that in this economy but the answer was clear: the richest family in Marley and no one else.

Levi stands next to the car and says some words to the chauffeur before nodding goodbye. The long jacket extends over his knees and it’s not closed at the front, high boots, no tie, no armband. When Levi turns around to find Erwin by the other side of the door, he says nothing. His face says nothing either. He shows his identification papers to the guard at the door and walks through, past Erwin who has to step up to follow him. At some point, a year ago while they were returning from Paradis, Erwin wondered what Levi would look like in a Marleyan uniform. He never understood where that thought process came from, as if at that moment he realised Levi would have to wear very different clothes across the ocean. He was not able to come up with any image, though, making him think that maybe that was one of the things you had to look at with your own eyes to understand.

“That's a nice car.”

“They have over six more in their garages,” Levi tells him, walking forward with his hands in his pocket.

“Do you always come in this early?” Erwin asks.

“Yeah, they used to make Zeke drive me here until they allowed him to get back home.”

“He’s allowed back home again?”

Levi nods. “He's already at the office by this point.”

“I imagine an office is quite comfortable. That's the highest privilege an Eldian has ever had.”

“You said you couldn't be here,” Levi says, stopping before the main entrance of the building.

“You asked me not to leave again.”

Levi looks up at him, frowning, and Erwin steps up to open the door of the building for him.

“I used to be at Magath's office this early. But things have changed and he doesn't like me as much anymore,” Erwin explains, surprised at how easily the words come out of his mouth considering this is Levi he's talking to.

“They’d be pretty stupid to pretend they don't want you here.”

“It's part of the punishment,” Erwin answers as they start walking up the stairs.

“How long is that even gonna last?”

“We live a life of penitence.”

They walk side by side at a slow pace, as if making time before getting to their destination. There's little movement in the building so far but everything will change in half an hour when all generals and officers start walking from room to room and floor to floor.

“I was not assigned someone to train me,” Erwin says. “I cannot be assigned to duty while I’m out of shape, so there’s not much to do for me yet.”

They reach another set of stairs until they get to the second floor and then go up a bit more.

“They put you on the shooting range,” Levi tells him.

Erwin huffs a laugh. He wonders who is going to Levi with all this gossip or if he asks for it himself. Levi's never the one to ask questions. 

“Yes,” Erwin answers. “I'm a good shot.”

“They trust you.”

“Minimal trust, I suppose. I'm not allowed to talk to you either.”

Levi stops walking only two steps behind him and Erwin turns around.

“Come on,” Erwin says, inviting Levi with his hand. “I'd like to see Zeke before this building is filled with officers.”

At the end of the corridor, they step into Zeke's office to find him reading the newspapers with his feet up his desk.

“Morning huckleberry,” Zeke says.

“Morning to you too,” Erwin answers with a smirk.

Zeke quickly folds the newspaper and tilts his head, smiling. “It's always a pleasure to see you, sugar pie.”

“Leave the door open,” Erwin tells Levi just to avoid an officer finding them gathering again.

Levi closes the door and stares. “We're alone,” he says.

Zeke clears his throat, taking his feet off the desk. “Yes, we have some time.”

Erwin frowns. “You have the morning for yourselves?” It’s weird that they already have so much preferential treatment and even if Levi might be the cause, this is still military premises. “You should be careful. It might be used against you if anything arises.”

“They could be listening in,” Zeke says, standing up. He walks around the desk to lean against it.

“No one is listening. That’s the stupidest thing,” Levi says but he might not know about bugging devices. 

“I’m saying, we’re not trustworthy,” Zeke says, taking something out of his pocket and showing it to Levi. It’s a tie. “Would you?”

Levi lets out an exasperated sigh and snatches it. He gets right in front of Zeke and puts the tie around his neck, popping the collar. “No one is listening,” he insists, straightening the fabric of the tie.

“We will never know,” Zeke says, putting his hands on Levi’s waist, but they are batted away.

“Fucking stand up straight,” Levi chides, making Zeke chuckle and stand up from the edge of the desk. He’s as tall as Erwin so it forces Levi to crane his neck while he works on the tie.

“You think they are gathering evidence?” Zeke asks, poking Levi’s nose, and his hand is batted away yet again.

“ Stop,” Levi seethes, skillfully tying the knot on the tie.

Erwin huffs a laugh and looks away from them and out the window, unsure of how to feel in front of Zeke and Levi’s little inside jokes. He is taken back to how Mike and Wald used to be with each other before Paradis; they were overly friendly and playful and Erwin would find it endearing, but this before his eyes is only weird. It makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't know why this particular situation is so striking. He would normally find peace in knowing Levi’s not having a hard life here in Marley, either because the Tybur family takes care of him or because he gets along with his duty partner. This doesn’t give him peace and he fears Levi even might feel uncomfortable under how handsy Zeke can get; he’s the type to go lie in bed next to his friends just to talk and smoke before bedtime. He’s the one to ask anyone out to dance and then walk home with an arm around people’s shoulders. Levi would never like any of that, he doesn’t like being touched or even talked to. The hug he gave Erwin the night before was an extremely weird situation so it might just mean Zeke and Levi hug a lot too. Erwin’s been out of this place for too long and is only now seeing everything he missed out on.

On top of it all, it was Erwin who taught Levi how to put on a tie. 

“Levi mentioned you were allowed back home,” Erwin says, still looking away.

“Took them over a whole fucking year,” Zeke answers. “But yeah.”

“How’s the family?” Erwin asks, looking back. Levi’s going for a chair.

“Old as fuck,” Zeke offers, leaning on the desk and taking a cigarette out of his pocket. “You still smoke?” he asks, offering one.

Erwin nods. “Maybe we could share some on our way home today.”

“Maybe,” Zeke answers with a shrug and proceeds to light his cigarette.

Erwin takes a deep breath and looks at Levi, lounging on his chair with his legs crossed, he’s looking back. 

“Back to grey, huh,” Zeke points out.

“Yes,” Erwin answers. “I cannot aspire to be a shifter anymore.”

“What's a coloured armband anyway?” Zeke asks, waving his cigarette. “Still, more respected than Pieck will ever be.”

“She's something else,” Erwin says, watching Zeke take a drag of his cigarette. “Her handling of the Cart is nothing if perfect. I don't believe anyone ever managed to hit the three-month target.”

“They want her to do six next,” Zeke provides, breathing smoke out.

“I bet she will.”

Zeke snorts. “But should she?”

“What do you mean?” Erwin asks, frowning.

“She walks on four legs Erwin, have you seen her?”

“I have not,” he answers. He’s not aware of the status of any of the shifters. “Does she?”

“She says it’s comfortable for her,” Levi tells him.

“I’ve never heard of anything like that. Do you experience anything similar?” Erwin asks Zeke.

He rolls his eyes letting out a breathy laugh, then walks to his seat. “No,” he says, groaning as he sits down. “I… nothing.”

Erwin will have to look into that. He’s never heard of behavioural elements being transferred from titan to human. Zeke is most likely not worried about Pieck’s status, at least in Erwin’s experience, he’s most likely pondering on the different ways these last batch of Warriors has turned out. 

Then suddenly Erwin notices that Levi’s not making tea and Zeke’s not inviting him to sit. Erwin’s not welcome here. It used to be fun to spend time with his friends and learn about their lives and what they’ve been up to but he also feels out of place right now.

“If you excuse me,” Erwin says, taking a step back towards the door. “I should get to the other side of the field before training starts.”

He gets no answer and there’s not much else to do or say other than walk out and shut the door.

“You’re an asshole.” Levi’s voice echoes through.

“What did I do?” Zeke asks.

“He’s your friend.”

“I didn't tell him to leave.”

Erwin takes his hand from the knob and walks away as fast as possible to avoid listening to any more of their conversation. He needs a breath of fresh air. Maybe he should’ve accepted that cigarette.

Four months ago - Erwin’s home

“Please, be my guest, have a seat,” Erwin's father offers but the soldier looks at him disgusted without uttering a word. 

He decides to just stand by the door looking ahead, scrunching his nose, frowning. There are eight other soldiers outside as well as three cars.

Erwin is sitting by the table with Magath who he hasn't seen since the ship arrived from Paradis. Erwin was immediately imprisoned and detained for over twenty-four hours before a small trial took place where he was dressed down for his crimes. He wasn't given the option to speak out or defend himself; he was immediately taken back to prison.

Magath was there during the trial, and he was there the day they sent him home under suspension. He never said a word. Now, he says he’s here on official business.

“This had a long time coming,” he tells Erwin.

“Thank you for being here, sir.”

“Cut the shit, Erwin. Your ridiculous trip to the island of devils has successfully bitten you in the ass and now you're here making a waste of your skills. Skills Marley generously trained you in despite your filthy fucking blood. I hope you're proud.”

He is. “I'm not, sir.”

“You risked your life. You risked the lives of your peers. You even risked the life of every soldier on that ship by boarding a sick foreigner with a fever.”

Erwin nods.

“You brought an Ackerman but at what cost?” he asks, but it's rhetorical. “The military can barely make use of him because Tybur can do as he pleases. That rich queer has taken Ackerman on vacations and he also plans to marry him to his daughter. Do you know what that means for us? How it makes us look?”

Erwin is not guilty of any of that but he'll take on the responsibility nonetheless, so he nods.

“It's embarrassing” Magath exclaims. “Nothing worked as you planned because you are not capable of planning. You are not equipped to lead. What could have been a great win for our country is now wasteful bureaucracy for the Tyburs and is needlessly political in ways that only slow us down as a nation.”

It's a stupid thing to say considering Marley's great success at conquering Slava in less than two months is all thanks to Levi. If Magath thinks he can downplay Erwin with such cheap excuses then maybe he’s not as smart as Erwin once thought.

“Reading and writing doesn’t make you a qualified Eldian for the army, but it’s the least you can do to take the burden off of me after everything you’ve done. Your absence has slowed everything down for me. I don't want to train another soldier and I don't want a stupid general on the other side of the country to take advantage of what I made of you.”

Erwin licks his lips, hesitant.

“You will not be transferred East. I've requested your reassignment to Liberio. It won't be by the end of the month, though. You have to sit here uselessly for a while longer.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

Now - Tybur Gala

Cocktail parties are for rich people, politicians, and military officers so being an Eldian in such a place usually means being a waiter. Magath has never before invited Erwin to one and claims he would first blow his brains out before taking Zeke as his wonderboy. Considering the size of this palace though, Erwin isn't sure Magath has ever been to a party like this before at all. 

The Tybur family is throwing a gala that includes all sorts of military men and politicians—and also, the press. It's clear they will make an announcement that is Levi-related. They most likely will make his engagement to Lara Tybur official. As for now, only Magath, Zeke, and Levi know about it—Erwin too, but he shouldn't.

He's wearing his uniform and grey armband, nothing special. He can't be shown as something special no matter where he’s at, yet Magath can’t be so pleased to have brought him here. Erwin can easily see this is one of the reasons Magath couldn't let him leave Liberio. He understands the politics and has studied every military leader, always making sure to pass this information to Magath so that he looks good whenever any of them approach him. Erwin knows the ways of a gala as well, so he knows what to say and what to keep to himself. He's also well-spoken and well-mannered, all of the things Zeke's not. Magath doesn’t have any other choice.

The party takes place in a huge salon Erwin never imagined existed. Not even the main HQ building is as big as this place. Not to mention the amount of food sitting in just one place without anybody interested in trying it. The room is surrounded by tables and very few chairs, forcing most of the guests to stand up and there’s also a band playing on the far end. Erwin can picture how empty this room normally looks the rest of the year when nobody is throwing a party to make some use of it. 

Despite Erwin’s skill, he still finds it interesting that Zeke has been left aside for this occasion, considering he's Levi's main partner on the battlefield. They train together, they’ve fought together, have taken pictures together, and are shown to the people as an unstoppable team. Still, somehow he was left out of this event and that’s weird enough considering that if an officer wants an Eldian to be present, they would be hired as waiters at the least.

Magath orders Erwin to stay close and pay attention. It's clear he wants him to listen in and then take notes. He relies on Erwin's good memory—and good handwriting. Magath doesn't drink and doesn't let Erwin drink either but they smoke, they talk to officers and politicians, and they walk aimlessly around the salon.

Levi hasn't yet made his big appearance. Most of the people in this room have probably never seen him in person. Just like most citizens, they’ve only read about him—gossiped too, most likely—but he's been properly available to the public yet. In fact, everyone in HQ should be lucky enough to encounter him even though they hate his guts.

It's an interesting conundrum, Erwin and his father have talked about it endlessly. Levi’s an Eldian, ripped straight from the lands of devils but he's worshipped as a rarity in Marley. The last survivor of a lineage of exceptional beings. Created with a purpose. Born to follow and to fight. The perfect pet for a rich family and a war-thirsty country and so they love him. Meanwhile, the rest of the Eldians who share his roots but not his last name are dirt. Therefore, they don't find anything that represents them in him, they only see someone superior who is here to step on them. So they hate him. If only they knew Levi had a kind heart behind his stone-cold look and his killing streak, that he could fall ill and was humble enough to receive help. That he used to bake bread for those in need. That he enjoyed scribbling and talking about his friends. Erwin avoided telling any of that directly to Magath and he never fully read any of the Paradis reports so no one knows. Magath prefers to hate Levi for not being fully under his command and it makes sense; he was left without Erwin's help for almost a year and he isn't in control of Ackerman. All he has is a few new medals. What's worse, no matter how good his relationship with Lord Tybur is, they have not gotten into an arrangement when it comes to Levi. Tybur knows he holds a lot of power and the government hasn't done anything to prove him wrong thus far.

When no one is talking to them, Erwin gets easily distracted by the smooth jazz that engulfs the room. A band has been playing music since he arrived and a beautiful blonde girl is singing. She's wearing a blue dress that gracefully falls over her shoulders. He assumes that's satin as it flickers under the chandelier light and he fights the urge to stare at her long, pale leg as it peaks behind the slit of her dress when she swings along the song.

Magath pulls from his shoulder to whisper things to his ear he doesn't care about. He's mad at something the mayor told him and at how he spilled gin on his suit but the handkerchiefs are bad and he can’t clean it. He's mad at the handkerchiefs.

When the song ends, Lord Tybur finally takes the stage and Erwin gets fidgety. He can't wait to see Levi. He hopes he gets a chance to at least share a few words. Maybe Magath will put aside his ego and engage in conversation too. He's been avoiding Lord Tybur all night like a spoiled kid upset at a friend for not lending him his toys.

Levi is introduced alongside his fiance and a story of how they fell in love during their holidays together—Erwin has a hard time believing any of it. The people are endeared nonetheless and they clap as the couple comes into the room. None of the two is smiling, they don't look happy, in love, or even interested. They are just kids holding hands who don’t even make a good couple and Erwin has to swallow a cackle. 

The press goes straight at them but it's Lord Tybur answering the questions. He asks for respect and time and not to charge the loving couple with questions. He says that everyone will have time to talk to them and to please enjoy the party.

Slowly, everyone moves away but the chatter is only getting louder. The music starts playing again and Magath pulls from Erwin's shoulder violently to take him far from there, finally getting on his wicks. Erwin's not interested in hearing him at all at this point. This is his first cocktail party ever and Levi's here. Magath isn't even in second place, he's way last. And he needs to find something else to do other than stress himself with such little things. He's got a war to handle; if handkerchiefs are his biggest issue tonight, then he will not be able to handle any duty on the battlefield.

When Lord Tybur finally approaches them, Magath remains so still that Erwin can almost hear his teeth clenching.

“I personally asked Theo to bring you to me,” Lord Tybur says. “Erwin, I want you for a couple of pictures, would you mind?”

“My lord, I'm sure there's a better use for those flashbulbs than my persona.”

“So humble, so fearless,” Lord Tybur breathes out. “I can see how Levi immediately followed you out of that dirty country.”

“Stop the nonsense, Alex,” Magath grumbles. He's frowning and clearing his throat constantly. It's clear he's not comfortable or pleased to be here, but seeing Erwin is a bigger protagonist than him right now might hurt a tad more. “Ackerman was captured and is a prisoner. As much as you want to have him be a hero. He's not a free man in this country.

“You're no fun,” Lord Tybur chides. “What happened to you?”

“I'm not here for fun. “

“You should know this is a cocktail party,” Lord Tybur jests. “So you might as well leave if you're here for work.” He pulls from Erwin's sleeve and walks away. “Come with us, Theo,” he calls. “You will want these pictures taken too.”

Erwin had no idea Lord Tybur had asked for him to attend this party, no one ever told him. He was sure no one even knew who he was and now he's wondering if that's the real reason Magath brought him here and not because of his listening skills.

They are pushed against a wall and are asked to smile. Magath stays warily apart from Erwin which is mostly to avoid being seen on the newspaper touching an Eldian. Erwin can remember a few times he had his picture taken, and he was a kid then. He has no idea what to do and amongst all the chatter, the jazz, Lord Tyrburn, and the flashes; he feels numb. He suddenly realizes this will come back to haunt him. Magath will say he did this for fame and attention, his comrades will mock him. The only one happy with this will be his father, and that’s even worse. He will probably tear up and start saying how proud his mother would be. 

The crowd in front of him suddenly grows quiet as Levi steps in front of them and stares directly back at Erwin. Levi's going for a real modern vibe that only the high class can dare to have. He’s wearing suspenders just like the last time he visited Erwin though now he popped the collar of his shirt and he’s wearing a green broad jacket that matches his pants. 

“Ah, yes!” Lord Tybur exclaims. “That’s the smile I was asking for, Erwin!”

The three photographers flash their cameras almost at the same time and right after that, Lord Tybur dismisses Magath to place Levi by his side.

“Evening, Levi,” Erwin says with a short nod.

“Welcome to the shitshow,” he mutters, standing right next to him. He’s close, different from Magath. So close that Erwin can feel Levi holding the back of his jacket and tugging.

“You do this every week?” Erwin asks.

“There’s a blindspot in my right eye from that fucking flash,” Levi answers and it's awful but Erwin still chuckles.

“They are doing permanent damage.”

“I can’t see Alexander’s face, so it’s a plus.”

Erwin wants to cackle but he holds back and it comes out as a cough. 

“Look at that smile!” Lord Tybur exclaims. “Aren’t you two a pair? Levi, darling, put a hand over his shoulder, will you?”

Levi does as he’s told. “Show this one to your father.”

“He will tear up.”

“What?”

“Oh, Levi no!” Lord Tybur chides. “No frowning, stop that!”

Erwin chuckles. “You’ve seen how excited he was.”

“He’s as stupid as you are.”

“You should say that to his face,” Erwin answers.

“Oh, that’s perfect!” Lord Tybur exclaims. “Erwin, I will have you over so I can get more pictures of Levi smiling. How about that?”

The comment feels calculated and Erwin is suddenly self-conscious about the crowd that is staring at them. His neck is burning up. He clears his throat. Some more lights flash on their faces and Erwin’s asked to turn on his other side and now he finds Levi’s hair when he looks down—though he avoids doing it as much as possible. It's not hard considering Lord Tybur shouts directions at them and words constantly, forcing them to look ahead.

Once they are done, Erwin’s pulled aside and away from that place. His moment of fame is past gone, thankfully, and he won’t be allowed near the press or Levi or Lord Tybur any time soon so he walks away.

Magath is grumbling close by right next to the food. Everything looks delicious, making Erwin’s stomach rumble, but eating might put him in trouble. He doesn’t want to call attention to himself if someone decides to slap the food out of his hand, so he looks away. Magath’s constant huffing helps as a distraction; he’s probably swallowing up thousands of things to say—he’s said enough.

“May I have a cigarette, sir?” Erwin asks.

Magath nods curtly. He digs into his front pocket, then the back pockets and struggles to take the packet out before pushing it against Erwin’s chest. “Scram,” he says.

Being ignored and mistreated is a common currency for Eldians, and Erwin’s always found it interesting how people like Magath can’t see that being kicked out of a room and staying away from his little tantrums feels almost like a reward.

By the balcony, Erwin looks for a spot away from the rest of the invitees who look down at him and lights a cigarette, breathing it in as much as he can. A smile grows on his face from just thinking of the photo shoot he was just part of. He won’t get much time to spend around Levi, maybe if he keeps showing up early to see him in the morning. Getting into Zeke’s office might not be a good idea anymore. He didn’t feel welcome at all and Zeke won’t be walking home with him anytime soon either. What’s important though is that everything with Levi seems to be back to normal. He doesn't resent Erwin for bringing him here and putting him under all this stress. Or at least, he doesn't show it as much. Erwin wasn’t planning on leaving him alone again but after his appearance last night, he feels as though it is more important than ever not to fail at that.

“Can I have one?” Levi asks, startling Erwin once again. He's leaning over the balcony railing next to him.

“You… you smoke?” Erwin asks, his heart beating up fast.

“I'm constantly around smokers. It's unbearable.”

Erwin chuckles, pulling a cigarette out of the package. Knowing Levi likes being his friend feels particularly good. “So… you're smoking or…?”

“Light it for me.”

“Yeah, yes,” Erwin stutters and obliges before passing the cigarette.

“How do… what do I do?” Levi asks.

“Firstly, I would suggest against taking up this habit,” Erwin says, chuckling.

“Come on,” Levi says, elbowing him. It's dearly how uncomfortable that cigarette looks between his fingers.

“Maybe start by giving it some puffs? Don't inhale it too fast or too much.”

Levi follows and immediately scrunches his nose. He smacks his tongue out and grumbles. “It's awful,” he says, building up saliva and spitting down the balcony.

“It doesn't suit you,” Erwin says, dragging. “You don't look like someone who needs to smoke to take the edge off.”

Levi hums. “What do you suggest I do?”

“Maybe… flying,” he says. “Or punching something.”

Levi huffs a laugh. They've been friendly before, they’ve barely had something to laugh about back on the ship. But there was something underneath that didn't help Erwin feel free enough, as if being so deceitful with Levi had left him feeling guilty and wary. All he could hope for was that his true intentions would eventually show up, that it would help, and that they could get along. Then he was ripped from the opportunity to build into that, to learn more from Levi. The circumstances are so different now. Levi feels so different.

“I couldn't predict any of the things that happened,” Erwin concludes out loud, not letting the silence take over. He can see Levi holding a shiver, he might be getting back inside soon.

“The marrying?” Levi asks.

“That makes sense but… the Tybur family taking interest, the country finding strength in your presence, Zeke being your partner.”

“He talks about you a lot.”

“But not to me,” Erwin says.

“He talks more about you than you did about him.”

“I'm a very bad friend, I guess,” Erwin decides. He's not sure he cares.

“He would've liked to be involved.”

“I understand that and… I won't try to make a counter-argument. This is how things turned out to be and nothing can be done to change that.” Erwin drags his cigarette, wondering if Levi's worried about his friendship with Zeke or Zeke himself.

“He behaves like a child,” Levi says, flicking the ashes of his unsmoked cigarette. “He's mad 'cause you left; he's mad 'cause he wasn't invited here,” he explains. “And he's mad 'cause he has to live the shitty life of a soldier like he's the only one around.”

Levi makes his point across and Erwin understands this is not about being worried about Zeke but rather being tired of him.

“Being invited to a place like this is weird enough for me,” Erwin says. “I truly can't understand why they haven't invited him. He's been your comrade long enough, you've been on the paper together—”

“Governor said one devil was enough,” Levi says.

Erwin huffs a laugh. “You don't count.”

“Ackerman,” Levi says, pointing at the little crow sigil on his suspender.

“That's swell.” Erwin smiles, stubbing his cigarette against the railing and throwing it over.

Levi’s rank is way higher than he thought, higher than Levi can imagine. A dangerous rank to have if the Tyburs suddenly find him a threat to their status.

“Magath got into some trouble too,” Levi mutters, he tries to smoke again, scrunching his nose and blowing the smoke immediately.

“Can I ask you to elaborate?”

“Alexander has been asking about you… for a while.” Levi gives Erwin his cigarette. “The asshole jumped on one foot as soon as I told him you were back in the force.”

“I wasn't aware,” Erwin says. Magath is too mad at him to let him know the richest family in the country is asking for him.

“He literally jumped.”

Erwin chuckles. “He's a showman, you have to give him that.” He smokes, Levi's cold saliva around the filter touching his lips.

“They asked me all sorts of questions.”

“Magath?” Erwin asks in a low voice, looking over his shoulder.

“Mhm. The Tyburs, the press.”

“I figured they might.”

“You never told me what to answer,” Levi says.

“I… no, of course. Just… the truth.”

“Mhm… well, I'm from the Underground, so I don't know much anyway.”

“Levi,” Erwin breathes out, chuckling. “I've put you through so much.”

“I come from a shitter,” Levi answers, looking away with a hint of grimness in his eyes.

Erwin's father told him he risked too much, that he should be more careful in the future, and that he's afraid Erwin might have not learned how to avoid danger but instead, he learned how to get away with it. His father wasn't surprised to learn that King Fritz never called to war, he had already assumed it. He barely cared about the way the walls worked and the religion created around them and was, instead, excited about their different writing language and the fact that Erwin was able to interpret it. He was also sad Erwin couldn't bring even the tiniest piece of paper.

“Do you dance?” Levi asks as soon as the band starts playing new music.

“I do… not… no—I… don’t… particularly—I’ve never—”

Levi cocks a brow, making Erwin feel in a hurry to answer.

“I don't dance, no,” he finally says. He's not sure if Levi dances at all, but he's embarrassed to ask as the beat coming from the salon gets faster and live.

“They'll want me in there,” Levi says, tilting his head. “You should come,” he adds and walks back inside.

Erwin looks ahead to the yard that spreads under the balcony. The moon is not up tonight, and only a few torches illuminate part of the park. He smokes, listening to people cheering and clapping, and thinks that without Levi, he wouldn’t have a reason to enjoy being here. Without Levi, he wouldn’t be here to begin with. He can only stay until Magath decides it's time to leave, and then he will have to drive back to HQ with the general and sleep in an empty, cold room by himself because no one is taking him home.

He takes one last drag off Levi's cigarette and stubs it gently, making sure it’s not ruined before putting it safely in the front pocket of his jacket.

Everyone seems too busy clapping and cheering as Erwin walks back inside the crowded room. They are gathered right at the centre of the salon and away from the food. Magath isn't close by, and Levi isn’t either. The band is playing an upbeat song, trumpets and trombones offering an amazingly catchy melody that Erwin can't help move his shoulders to. Curious, he tries to find a way to peep among the crowd. He never considered learning how to dance, he wasn’t part of the group of boys that were asked to dance before Paradis. The girls that have been inviting him out lately dance a lot, they make it look fun and liberating; they enjoy a man that can dance with and he's always so stiff in comparison. His father doesn't dance and he doesn't think he's ever seen his mother dance while she was alive either.

He thinks the song is familiar but he might be just that bad at this; everything sounds the same. Yet what's different now is how much better it sounds when the one dancing is Levi. He's exactly what Erwin thinks about when the idea of a perfect dancing partner comes to mind, energetic and charismatic. He's got all the spins and turns and fluid footwork that swing needs and the lady by his hand moves just as swiftly. He's not the only one dancing but he's the only one Erwin's looking at.

Levi's smiling softly, his silky hair twirling with him. He moves perfectly synchronised with his partner as they throw each other around and swirl and then embrace each other closely. It suddenly strikes Erwin that this is exactly what he read about Levi on the paper, making him wonder if Levi’s favourite colour really is green and his favourite gems are jades. 

“This is what they’ve been teaching Humanity’s Strongest,” Magath says, snickering behind his back, “to dance like a queer.” 

Erwin huffs a laugh just to be complacent. He doesn't appreciate Magath's words in the slightest and his breath stinks of alcohol.

“I can't wait for him to leave and give me some peace. Valerica will wear him down enough while we focus on a bigger target.”

Erwin is confused and he doesn't even know where to begin. When are they attacking Valerica? Why is that the next target when Slava has just been taken? What is the bigger target? It cannot be Paradis, not yet but there's no way to know and Erwin needs to get his mind straight to ask the right questions.

“Sir,” he says and he hates that he has to stop watching. “Sir, I was not aware.”

“Because you’ve been demoted.”

“Certainly, sir. I hope you will allow me to help nonetheless.”

“Yes, you will. I don't want you to get rusty. I need you to do what I've been training you for before you took on this…” Magath purses his lips, looking at Levi. “Waste of a mission.”

“Valerica sounds big.”

“It will be. Marley will settle West and move East throughout the next year. Hopefully, Ackerman gets a taste of real war and learns not all is about doing the Lindy Hop,” he snarls. “He might become a man by the time he's back,” Magath says, huffing a laugh. “I hope.”

Don’t leave me alone again. Levi’s words echo in Erwin’s head. He won’t be able to keep his promise and Marley keeps going out of his way to push Levi’s limits and win this war sooner than planned. They will take Levi away from him again, but Erwin won’t be able to sit back and watch this time around.

Chapter Text

Levi's tired, exhausted, but he moves on. He grapples the Beast's legs and arms to boost himself and slashes across heads and torsos while Zeke stops the bullets shot at them and throws him where he needs to be. 

They spent the last two weeks marching through Monteliere, the neighbouring country that became Marley's ally to allow them a route for this invasion. They camped, got ready, and took their time. Valerica was ready for war but not for titans, just like any other country, making Marley a bigger threat than expected. Just watching Zeke shift into a giant ape is enough to put the morale of every enemy soldier down and make every Marleyan and Eldian feel overly powerful. 

Levi likes leaving strategy talk to those who understand it better, which means he spent the last two months listening to Erwin and Zeke plan out every aspect about this invasion—continuously and also separately. They’ve been making all sorts of assumptions about how Monteliere was too small to cause harm and their best decision was to not fight Marley without necessarily joining their fight. But letting soldiers walk through their lands made them part of this mess anyway. Monteliere is a piece of infertile crap land with no resources whatsoever; they have no leverage. Slava’s port was their only means of receiving food and clothing. The people had to watch as Levi and the rest of the soldiers passed by their lands; some looked scared and hid inside their homes, while others stood by the streets or even got close enough to get a glance at Levi from outside the trucks.

In Valerica, on the battlefield, Levi finds that everyone is as disposable over this side of the ocean as in Paradis: the Eldians are cannon fodder for Zeke to make titans rain down the sky; the soldiers march first just to get the mines to blow off. The civilians endure poverty, sickness, and death because of a war they are not part of. Someone is always somebody else’s trash. He was Underground trash. Marley’s plan is to make everything around it his trash.

The battlefield gets gruesome, and this blood doesn't evaporate into the air. This one sticks and smells and Levi's drenched in it, cutting through people like paper and staring at those who die under the Beast's feet.

It’s the pure titans that draw the first blood before Levi makes his entrance. They are repeating the Slava strike and after him comes The Beast. Levi knows the attack on that port was all just a way of testing this because if Ackerman can’t be a war asset then they are doomed. Once the initial part of the attack is done and they have cleared out a route, Zeke does his thing. He destroys rocks, and cars, and trees, and throws them across the air so fast that they collapse against the buildings and houses, destroying everything around them. He picks up pure titans and crushes them between his fingers, making it rain blood. Zeke so easily kills and so easily screams that Levi finds it disturbing. Maybe it’s the Beast who makes him numb to death—to killing. Maybe that’s just who he really is and decided to hide his guilt under a coat of fur.

Levi grapples up to stand over Zeke’s shoulder and stares down at the horizon. Valerica’s eastern city has been turned to rubble. The skies have gotten grey, threatening with the possibility of a storm. The thunder reminds Levi of the Underground’s bad omens, of how the ceiling growls and rumbles, announcing its collapse. 

The screaming has ceased but the destruction remains, and those survivors who try to run away are shot down on the spot. Killing people who are threatening to kill them should be common currency for Levi but war feels very different from living in the Underground; this is no survival of the fittest, this is just being on the right side of the lawn.

“Are you done?” Levi asks into The Beast’s ear.

Zeke rips himself from the nape, bare chest, a dead gaze. “You tell me, my Lord.”

“You lose perspective from up here but down there is all blood.”

“Don't get sentimental, Levi,” Zeke says. “It was you or them.”

“Then it should've been me.”

Zeke huffs. “Go then, take a dive. The height will kill you if that’s what—”

Levi stops listening as soon as the skin on his neck shivers. He jumps right on top of Zeke, ripping him entirely from the Beast’s body and an explosion ripples through the air. Zeke screams so loudly that Levi’s ear hurts as he shoots a grapple to grip the Beast’s fur and make a safe landing. Zeke’s legs are gone. He curls on the floor, crying his eyes out as he paints the ground red, blood vaporising into the air. Levi looks up at Zeke’s titan destroying itself, carcass on sight. There’s a hole right in his chest.

“They shot a cannon at us.”

“At me!” Zeke exclaims. His wounds are healing already as they turn into stumps.

“Who's stupid enough to shoot a shifter,” Levi deadpans.

Zeke's heaving on the floor with his limp dick out. “Shit, shit, shit,” he breathes out.

“You're ok,” Levi says, kneeling beside him but Zeke pushes him away.

“Fuck off, then!”

“Tch. You're all healed up,” Levi says, steering away from the stench of Zeke's skin regenerating.

“The fuck do you know?” Zeke spits out.

Levi turns around and looks away. Soldiers are running towards the direction of the cannon. Zeke's right, he knows nothing about pain, not physical at least. He could never understand what it's like to have his legs ripped from his body, but he doesn't sympathise. A lot of lives were lost today and will be lost in the coming months, two legs that grow back seems like a low price to pay.

Last month - Erwin’s home

“Levi… I told you it's dangerous for you to be here.”

“And I told you I got it under control,” he answers. 

If Erwin is trying to avoid being around him, it won't work. After being rejected and abandoned his whole life, Levi's not taking no for an answer anymore. It still hurts. He used to believe that he would get the hang of being alone but it's debilitating. 

Levi doesn't like putting Bert in the uncomfortable position of taking him here but the first time it happened was by pure chance. Bert was driving Lara and Levi home after attending one of the many weekly cocktail parties. Zeke's childhood stories made Levi curious about what the internment zone was like. He wanted to know what the blocks looked like and found a sad place rather than a dangerous one.

“No, you don't, Levi,” Erwin says sternly, frowning. “Don't you think they know whose house you sneak into?”

“Are you afraid or something?”

“Levi…” Erwin brushes his face. “Marley sees two Eldians together and fears rebellion, fears plotting. Restorationists.”

“I'm not here to talk war.”

“They don't know; they don't care!” He seems exasperated but doesn't raise his tone.

Levi has seen him in the training field but hasn't come close yet. He doesn't want to deal with Erwin out in the open. He's easier to break into when they are behind a door.

“I can't see you every morning either,” Erwin says. His expression softens.

Erwin looks like one of those kids at Isabel's school who were made fun of because they dressed like old people. He's wearing the same awful pyjamas as last time and has combed his hair to go to bed. He's too tall to look so pubescent. Too smart to see the things right in front of his face.

“You show up whenever you want and so do I,” Levi says. He will talk as much as necessary to be in this room for as long as possible.

“It's not that simple; you should already be suspicious you are left alone in an office with Zeke so much.”

“Tch.” Levi doesn't want to talk about Zeke. “You’re not fighting in Valerica,” he answers instead. 

“I have no business there.”

“You’re a soldier,” Levi says, sitting by the bed. Erwin has cleaned up since the last time he came here. The spiderwebs are not there anymore. Levi can see the jacket he left here right by the dresser.

“I do administrative work mostly at this point.” Erwin walks to the window and closes it. He's barefoot over the wooden floor, no socks.

“You told me you were a good shot.”

“Yes,” Erwin says, getting back to the other side of the bed. Maybe the newspapers with Levi's face are in his drawer now. “And that’s why I hold the privilege of training the future warriors.”

“They say we’ll be gone for a year.”

Erwin nods, curtly. “Considering the fast rate at which Marley is able to take up territory, the troops should be able to attack within a day. If Valerica surrenders then taking the territory and establishing a permanent settlement could take up to half a year. If Valerica decides to fight, I suppose it would be longer. It can vary, the losses—”

“What will you do?” Levi asks.

“I… will… just… be here.”

He talks so easily about war and so poorly about himself.

Levi leans back with his hands on the bed and looks around as silence builds up. Erwin smells like his sheets, like fresh soap and nothing else. Maybe like wooden furniture and humidity as well. Once Levi thought he'd live here, but was sent to the other corner of the city instead. Just like he will be sent to the other corner of the damn continent now. 

“I think it's late, Levi… and we need to sleep.”

“You will tell me not to come here again,” Levi says, standing up.

“And you will not listen to me.”

The remark makes Levi smile a bit and Erwin huffs a laugh. 

“I will tell Alexander you’re a good marksman,” Levi says.

“Levi,” Erwin calls. “He only cares about you. We are merely a side story.”

“I wouldn’t need to sneak in here if they paired me up with you.”

Erwin frowns. “You want to learn how to shoot a gun?”

Levi isn’t sure of what he wants. “I spend too much time with my feet up, secondhand smoking Zeke’s cigarettes.”

“That sounds like every soldier’s dream. And you two get along.”

“All I do is sit on my ass. I don't run anywhere, I don't fly anymore. I'm a doll and all they expect from me is a good dance,” he hisses, balling his fists.

“You’re a good dancer,” Erwin says.

“Tch.” Levi looks away, avoiding Erwin’s smile. He can be as soft as he can be infuriating.

“Do you also enjoy biscuits with your tea in the afternoon and green gems?” Erwin asks with a shitting smirk.

“Eat shit.” Levi pushes Erwin’s forehead, making him flinch.

“Ow,” Erwin says, getting up from the bed, his hair tousled. “Magath won’t allow me to train you in the shooting range,” he explains. “And he won’t be happy to know you sneak into my place either, Levi, please.”

Levi lets out a deep sigh, reaching for the bottom hem of Erwin's nightshirt and pulling gently, getting closer to rest his forehead against Erwin's chest. “Ok,” he says after being asked to leave for the third time.

Erwin doesn’t embrace him and doesn't move. Levi looks up at him, he’s staring back but when Levi stands on his tiptoes to level their faces, Erwin takes a step back, making Levi wonder how many times he will try that just to fail miserably.

“It’s not safe being outside after curfew,” Erwin says. “Even for you.”

“Yeah.” 

Levi’s body feels light and weak as he jumps out the window without saying goodbye. He looks around, there’s an officer right by the corner and another two by the lookout post. Levi blends in the shadows like he has all his life and listens to the guards mumbling, lighting their cigarettes, breathing. They are loud and useless, but they are not the threats. The ones Levi’s hiding from are the ones on the ceilings nearby who think they are being sneaky.

He asked Bert to wait for him far enough from the rest of the Eldians so if a guard asks he’s just waiting for Levi who went out to take a piss on the street.

“Thank you, Bert, we can go now,” Levi says upon stepping into the car.

“I don’t recommend you doing this too often, my Lord,” he suggests. “There’s no such thing as being lucky three times in a row.”

The first time they showed up with Lara, Levi pretended to get lost. Tonight, after finishing his classes earlier, he explicitly asked Bert to drive him here. Next time, he will have to do it on his own.

“I know,” Levi says. “I won’t put your life at risk anymore, don’t worry.”

“Don’t put yours either,” Bert answers. 

Now - Valerica

The invasion in Valerica is nothing like Slava. 

The fallout is bigger, the destruction is stronger and the pain lingers. This isn't even over. The first city has been overrun but there’s a lot more to do here and they will set camp before moving forward. Soldiers are doing their thing, bloodthirsty and hungry for a drop of power, they kill innocent people for the sake of it and take their houses and their food. Everything is suddenly so similar to living in the Underground; it's the law of the strongest and Kenny would be in his element. He'd excel in war as a killing machine just like Levi does, but better, he'd hold nothing dear, he'd enjoy watching it all burn.

A stationary settlement is built, with soldiers putting up tents and squatting upon empty houses. Zeke has already picked a room for himself with a double bed and invited Levi over. The house has been emptied, the owners escaped the warzone long before the battle started and only took the necessities. The kids' room is untouched, its bed is tidy and tiny. There are car and plane toys over a dresser and the wallpaper is green. Levi feels weird but overly curious as he checks the drawer and looks at the clothes. They look like a family that did well for themselves. He thinks he will sleep here instead of with Zeke but the skies are dark and threatening and he won't enjoy being alone during a thunderstorm.

The kitchen is a mess, they emptied the fridge and the cupboards, leaving only empty and dirty pots all over the counter. Levi makes it habitable before washing a cup and heating some water. Zeke smokes a cigarette by the table, still upset about the cannon that was directed at them. It was clear they were trying to take Levi down but missed by a long shot and hit the only soldier who wouldn’t suffer any permanent damage. Zeke’s also been too attentive about Pieck. She has just arrived, carrying a new set of artillery in her back and they have ordered her to remain in Cart form. The scientists' group in charge of her development insists that the process of turning into a titan requires using too much energy so the more she stays as a Cart the easier it will get for her overtime. She hasn't shown any problems following their directions, but Zeke seems to hate the idea. It’s hard to believe he cares for her, Levi doubts he cares for anybody who is not himself. If he doesn’t care about Erwin, whose childhood was so important to him, why would he care about Pieck of all people? He doesn’t care about Levi either, not unless he gets something in return. So what does he want from Pieck then? She will surely be forced to stay as the Cart for half a year eventually just to push her limits. Marley wouldn’t care so much if they lost her because the next kid willing to take such a burden will do just as well. No one before her has achieved this progress with their titan, or so Levi has heard, but instead of caring for her they keep experimenting. 

Zeke says that all Marleyans do is play around with Eldians, squeezing and stretching until they break. But when Levi asks what's like to train as a shifter, what’s like to shift, Zeke just says it's bullshit and to let it go. He just talks about what he wants to say, he just uses Levi to complain about things without really saying anything. It makes it hard to get close to him in any aspect while he clearly wants Levi to be closer.

“Thank you,” Zeke says after sipping his tea.

Levi hasn't sat down, he's sipping his tea in front of a bookcase. He wonders if he could read something from it if he tried. Alexander Tybur has promised to enroll Levi in classes after he gets back from Valerica; he wants Levi to learn how to read and write properly so that the title of Lord fits him accordingly. Levi’s usually around when the Tybur kids are being homeschooled and enjoys listening in but he never gets to practice. Erwin once told him that knowing these skills makes people very powerful so he assumes Alexander is scared of what Levi might do with them. Yet he doesn't seem afraid Levi might stab him in his sleep.

“Would you live in a house like this?” Zeke asks.

Levi lets out a deep sigh. “Too big.”

“But you could have a family.”

“I don't,” Levi says, wishing he could distinguish kids' books from adult books so he can pick one once and for all.

“Ok but if you had a family—it could even be friends. Would you live in a place like this?”

“It's too big and too cold,” Levi answers, picking up a random book and walking to the table.

“Would you like a smaller house?”

“I don't know, I never had a house.” He doesn't like the cover of the book so he leaves it by the table next to his cup and goes back to the bookshelf.

“That's the point, Levi,” Zeke says. “In a perfect world where you could have a house of any type or size and live with whomever you wanted, would it be something like this?”

Levi decides to grab a bunch of books to just look at the covers first before reading them and takes them to the table. “I don't see the point in thinking about a house I don't have,” he tells Zeke.

“You're no fun.”

Most of the books have green hardcovers except for one which is smaller and has a white cover with two red stripes

“Found anything interesting?”

Levi looks up from the book. “I don't know,” he says.

“May I?”

“Suit yourself.”

Zeke reaches for one of the books, flipping a few pages, touching the paper with his whole hand. “Imagine having all of these,” he says. “It reminds me of Smith’s bookcase though I don’t think he ever has so many stories. Erwin’s father is a man of science, you know?”

“I don’t know.” Levi’s totally entranced by one cover in particular where there is a beach and a tree sewn to it. They all look like books too hard to read but maybe he could try.

“Just as lunatic as his son. It’s all about books with them.”

“You like books too.”

“Yeah, I do. That’s why I'm keeping this one. No more re-reading for me.”

“Erwin is a damn lunatic,” Levi thinks out loud.

“Erwin?” Zeke asks. “The lunatic that travelled across the sea to pick you up from an Underground city? He’s mental.”

“You spent all day crushing people under your feet and throwing rocks at cities until they are destroyed to bits. Now you’re drinking tea.”

“I don’t get off on killing,” Zeke answers. “Are you not doing the same as I am?”

“I feel sick.”

“You wound me,” Zeke deadpans. “Suggesting I don’t.”

“It's a matter of time until you ask me to go read this in bed with you.”

Zeke huffs, scratching his temple. “Certainly, I’d make another move on you if you weren't so scary.”

“You lost your charm.”

“Did I?” Zeke asks. He gets up to sit on a chair next to Levi and crosses his legs. “It was hard not smoking every morning just to get a little kiss.”

“You’re not getting any,” Levi says, leaving his teacup and looking at the cover of a different book.

He doesn't understand what Zeke sees in him. He doesn't understand why someone handsome is none of his interest. Ladies die for Zeke, he’s all women in HQ ask Levi about, and if he wasn’t a devil many upper-class widows would invite him over for pictures, for dinner, for tea. Levi finds him good-looking and that’s it. Kissing Zeke does nothing for Levi, Zeke’s scent does not move him. Fucking Zeke is just a transaction where Levi gets nothing in return. Nothing compared to what he feels when Erwin is close, to have his attention, to see his smile in the mornings by the HQ gates.

Every soldier calls Erwin eyebrow and egghead; girls say that he’s a bad flirt and a lame dancer. Levi doesn’t get into gossip but overhears all of it and he knows Erwin leaves HQ with some company from time to time ever since he returned successfully from Paradis and punishment. Whatever the case, that stupid egghead with eyebrows comes to Levi’s mind every day. He remembers that talk they had in Paradis by the beach and how Erwin promised he would free the island of titans with Levi’s help. He keeps thinking back to how worried he always was about Levi’s fever on the ship. He can't forget the first time he sneaked into Erwin’s house and how he said he was happy to see Levi.

“You ask for too much,” Zeke says.

Levi loses his train of thought. “I asked for nothing,” he says.

“You might be part of my wet dreams, darling,” Zeke offers. “But I won’t beg on my knees.”

Levi huffs. “You would.”

“I will not.”

“But you would,” Levi insists. If Zeke was so over him, he wouldn’t keep bringing this up. But he's been nothing but selfish, so why would Levi keep playing his game when he's not getting anything in return?

“What could you possibly do to get me on my knees?” Zeke asks.

“Show you my naked ass most likely.”

Zeke laughs and chokes and coughs. “I can never know when you're flirting,” he manages.

“I'm never flirting.”

“You shouldn't put the picture of your naked ass in my head then.”

Levi gulps his tea and says, “Maybe if I get desperate again.” Then he gets up to pour himself some more tea.

Zeke huffs a laugh. “Desperation is a lame excuse. You wanted it,” he says. “And I will not be waiting on my hands and knees for you.”

“Yes, you will,” Levi says, taking the teacup and a book with him on his way to the children's bedroom.

He lies in bed on top of the covers and gets ready to read. The first two pages are empty and he doesn't understand why that's the case with so many books. There's a note in the third one where the writer thanks his family and loved ones and when he flips the page he squints. The font is small and tightly packed, making it very hard for him to pay attention or even know where to start. He understands he should start with the first word of the first sentence but staring at that page filled with letters makes him nervous. He covers the rest of the words with one hand and tries hard to focus on the first sentence, then on the first word and after reading three of them in a row he’s already exhausted. Picked the wrong book. Or maybe they are all like that. Maybe all he can ever read is kids’ books. He just wanted something to talk to Erwin about when they got back from this war. Something not war-related. Something to force more words out of Erwin that are not just duty. Levi has time anyway, they will be here for a year.

Morning comes and he can’t make it past page one. It's hard to move from one line to the next, he often finds himself re-reading the same line. A positive outcome is that the words in the book weren't as difficult as he thought. And the ones he doesn’t understand, he asks in the morning during tea with Zeke. Then, Levi gives the sentence another read to fully understand them.

“Are you going for strong, handsome, and smart?” Zeke asks, sitting by his side. He hasn’t smoked yet so Levi lets him.

“Yes, humanity’s smartest,” he quips and Zeke cackles, giving Levi’s back a few palms and then squeezing his shoulder.

Zeke’s horny, last night’s conversation riled him up but his ego kept him away from Levi’s room. “Why are you holding the book so close to your face? Do you need glasses?” he asks.

“I have a hard time reading, I don’t know.”

Zeke offers his glasses but after trying them on, Levi squints uncomfortably; the words don’t look better, they look blurry and smaller yet.

“You look cute,” Zeke tells him and Levi frowns at him, having a hard time putting him on focus and Zeke chuckles. “You should see your face.”

“My head hurts,” Levi says, taking them off.

“They had it all wrong, you’re humanity’s weakest.”

“You’re still an uglist—ugly—”

“Uglist? ” Zeke chuckles.

“Ugly beast,” Levi manages, huffing. Reading and talking makes his brain feel like scrambled eggs. 

“Uglist beast,” Zeke says mockingly, pulling Levi closer to him. He presses their faces together and Levi has to push him away.

“You’re pinching me, ugh,” he exclaims. “Go shave.”

Zeke sighs. “I didn't bring my razor.”

“Find one.”

“I’m not shaving just because you tell me to,” Zeke says, getting up.

“You'd rather be a filthy ape.”

“And I’m smoking even if it’s morning.”

“Do it outside, fuzzball,” Levi answers, keeping his eyes on the book until the flicker of the lighter calls his attention. He throws his book right on Zeke’s face to stop him from lighting his cigarette. 

Zeke winces, letting out a groan. “You’ve always been so sweet,” he says, touching his nose and fixing his crooked glasses.

When he crouches to pick up the book from the floor, he quickly gets up and throws it in Levi’s direction—but it’s easy to dodge.

“I know you like that about me,” Levi answers. Maybe he does feel like flirting at this point. Zeke’s eagerness to get Levi interested in him is enticing. And the way he’s riled up by Levi just rejecting him violently has worked once or twice.

Luckily, before Levi starts again what he shouldn’t have months ago, the siren blares and the soldiers gather to meet by the patio. The sky remains grey like a bad omen, and everyone is cramped up, getting their bodies as close as possible to avoid feeling the cold from the windy morning. Winter was not part of the plan, Zeke has said, but since most of the attacks will be started by pure titans falling from the sky, Marley believes it does not matter if the soldiers are freezing to death on their posts or not. 

Troops are ordered to stand back and move South once the sun goes down. The officers have other plans for Levi and Zeke, they will be attacking tomorrow at first light. The enemy already knows what to expect when a group of aircraft head their way and now Marley will also have to make sure his most valuable men are not cannoned down. Being just the two of them will make it easy to go unnoticed, they can advance on foot and once they get to the right place, Zeke can shift and Levi will jump on him. As usual, Levi is better at other things so he leaves strategy to Zeke.

Lunch is just as bad; it has Levi missing Bert's potatoes with cream and onions. He sits by himself under a porch and stares at a little kid who walks up to all of the soldiers around him to talk and exchange cards. Levi's never seen him. He's wearing a grey armband and a jacket two sizes bigger, probably the youngest kid Levi’s seen in action. 

“Y'mister Ackerman, ain't ya? Lord Ackerman, m'lord,” the kid says and salutes.

“Just Levi.”

“Sir, m'lord, got any letters for me?” The kid has short ginger hair and he smiles, two huge palettes in sight.

“It's Levi,” he says, frowning and taken aback by how much this kid reminds him of both Isabel and Kenny at the same time somehow. “What letters?”

“Fer yer family an' friends, m'lord, my... Levi... I'm takin' care of the mail.”

“I can send letters?”

“That's right, sir,” the kid says, fidgety, looking at Levi's plate and then back into his eyes. “Headin' back to Marley tonight. Perhaps you'd fancy sendin' a word to yer fiance?”

“Would you take the letter in person?” Levi asks.

“No, my... sir,” he says, eyeing Levi's food again. “I fetch the letters to the post office, an' off they go.”

“Can I send one to Headquarters in Liberio?”

The kid frowns. “Aye, sure thing,” he offers, shrugging. “I'll fetch ya an answer after the next skirmish.”

Levi taps his foot, looking around him. “When was the last time you ate?”

The kid chuckles, embarrassed. “Yesterday, sir, had a bit of bread an' water.”

“Here, sit,” Levi says, standing up.

“Nah, sir, I'm alright, I am.”

“Is someone going to punish you for eating?”

“Don't reckon, no,” the kid says, shrugging. 

“Sit then,” Levi says, giving the kid his plate.

“Thank ye kindly, sir.” The kid smiles widely as he takes the plates and sits. “Much obliged, many thanks.”

Levi looks around again but he can't find Zeke among other soldiers having lunch. Now that the sun is up high, some of the clouds have cleared out but there's still a cold breeze that keeps everyone hunched down and shivering from time to time. 

“What's your name?” Levi asks.

“Alfie,” he answers, mouth full.

“What do I need to send a letter? Just write a message? Tell who it is for and from?”

Alfie frowns and chews, then he swallows. “Just slip it in an envelope and scribble the address an' the one it's for.”

“Will you wait for me here?”

Alfie shrugs curtly. “Aye, sure thing, sir.”

“Eat the whole thing,” Levi says, “and drink water. I'll be right back.”

Six months ago - Zeke’s office

Levi should shower now, he feels sticky and uncomfortable; his left hand smells like sex. Zeke is the one that gets to shower first though, only because he's the one with his chest covered in come.

It’s better like this anyway, Levi wanted to be alone, he needed it. After spending two months away with the Tyburs, the first thing Levi does upon entering Zeke's office is kiss him. Something about solace and distance, about longing. He will probably never see Erwin again if he’s sent to another city. Levi will never get to have his revenge, it’s all gone to shit and Zeke is just there—available. Something for Levi to do until he finds another way to choke Gerst with his own hands, Magath next.

Levi sits by Zeke's desk and stares at the ashtray full of cigarette butts, at a glass with bubbly water. The only other cock Levi's ever touched was Farlan’s; Zeke’s was very different. It would be dangerous if this became a recurring thing. Considering Alexander Tybur paid big money for Willy’s little secrets, Levi would think he’d be safe, but Zeke would be done for. Levi shouldn't be risking his friend’s life only because he craves proximity. Just like he risks Bert’s and Erwin’s.

After sitting silently on Zeke’s desk chair, Levi devises Erwin's name among the pile of paper before him. Must be one of Zeke’s reports. His handwriting is speedy and inconsistent, he writes the way his hair looks. He doesn't do flowery capital letters but it's nice to read Erwin's name. The report Levi’s reading is about Erwin’s theories on Ackerman. Levi never wrote that word down, even now that he has accepted he might be a member of that bloodline. He rips a bit of blank paper and grabs a pen to try it out. As for now, he’s only learned to write his name to sign autographs but he just writes Levi. Ackerman is longer and harder. He writes Erwin's name too, as well as Farlan's and Isabel's. It's been long since he wrote those down.

The tiny piece of paper in his hand looks just as pretty as the one he wrote on the ship but he doubts he could get to keep this one. So he puts it in the ashtray and uses Zeke's lighter to set it on fire.

Now - Valerica

To Erwin Smith, Liberio Headquarters

I dont no what to write about I never wrote a letter before. I didnt no people send letters during war. I guess they want their widows to hear about them one last time. I dont think I will die but I have nothing to do with my time. I dont want to sleep and this country feels weird. They wont surrender. You woud say the fight bravely. I cant find bravery in killing. I hate talking about this

We ocupied an empty house. The children room is full of toys cars and aircrafts I dont think I can put one in my bag it will break. I never had toys. Do you have any? Books dont count. Pen and paper dont count neither

They had ve a lot of books and I put one in my bag I will try to read it when we have time but is harder than I thougt

Its very cold and dry here and cloudy I hope it doest rain. Do guns cause storms? I only saw rain after war and it sounds like something you would know about. Gunfire and tunder sound similar. I hate both

My hand hurts

Write me back

Levi

Chapter Text

Levi hasn't missed the mornings in HQ; they feel eerie. Nobody wants to be here, everyone's forced, but he supposes that’s how it goes in every military compound. He certainly never thought he’d missed his bedroom, his mattress, so he is somehow glad to be back with the Tyburs. Living with so much privilege is sticking to him, and he doesn’t appreciate it; he can’t forget who he really is, where he comes from—dirt. He can’t trust anyone in this country either, especially considering they all have bigger plans, plans that go above Levi but require him to be present—the missing piece of the puzzle, as Tybur likes to call him sometimes.

Being away from Marley for almost a year means longing for something Levi can’t put a pin on yet. It means adapting to another reality yet again, feeling empty, fighting blindly. Everything feels dull when life is served on a platter and maybe he’s lost the courage to survive and fight for survival.

“My lord,” Zeke says, opening the door to Magath’s office.

Levi shoves his shoulder right into Zeke’s chest, making him flinch. They’ve been spending way more time together than they should at this point and Levi could use a break from the ugly beard he’s decided to grow.

Magath isn’t a sight for Levi's sore eyes. His shitting-ass face is waiting for them in a room full of smoke. There’s a whiskey glass next to him and he’s looking down at his papers. He loves pretending he's a busy man, but he looks desperate instead. Desperate to be taken seriously.

“Good morning, sir,” Zeke says, closing the door behind them.

Levi walks straight to a chair and sits down, calling Magath’s attention. 

He frowns and bitterly says, “Have a seat.”

Zeke follows suit while taking a cigarette out of the packet in his pocket and resting it on his lips.

“You will resume your activities as usual,” Magath says. He doesn't acknowledge Valerica, doesn't talk like it’s been a year since they last saw one another. Maybe he's trying to pretend his hair hasn't gotten greyer.

Everyone's changed so much this past year. Willy Tybur's hair got very long; Lara doesn't look like a kid anymore, she's a woman now. Alexander, their father, is putting even more white powder on his face.  Zeke and that ugly beard. Levi hopes Erwin hasn't grown one too. 

“Lord Tybur has requested to keep you off duty to assist political parties but Yeager won’t be joining you,” Magath tells Levi. “Yeager, your bedroom in the premises has been reassigned. Pick up your bags from the storage department.”

“Thank you, sir,” Zeke mumbles, lighting his cigarette.

“Given Marley’s success on the battlefield, the deployment of pure titans to Paradis seems unnecessary in the foreseeable future. But as you know, we haven’t received any information concerning the infiltration. Once we have secured our allies here, we might get back there.”

“Excuse me, sir,” Zeke says. “Might?”

Magath shrugs. “Paradis has begun to lose its strategic significance in light of the recent developments. Our focus must now turn towards retrieving the Warriors and recalibrating our strategies to take hold of our continent.”

“We're bringing the kids back?” Zeke asks.

“Isn't this a heartening twist of fate, Captain Yeager?” Magath quips. “Your remarkable exploits on the battlefield have earned you a spot right here.”

“If you allow me, sir—”

“I do not allow you, no,” Magath spits out. “I already have enough politics to deal with. You two are worth more here, for the government at least. Our reports have convincingly conveyed that those devils do not know of the existence of titans outside their walls. If this is still the case by the time the Warriors return, the founding titan can wait.”

Levi looks at Zeke, who's looking back. They have discussed Paradis way too many times, that's the only reason Levi was brought into this country to begin with. Is Erwin aware of this news too? If they are not getting back to Paradis, what else are they going to do? How long does Levi need to wait? 

"You might be aware that Hizuru has expressed interest in allying," Magath states with a hint of lingering tension. None of the recent victories are personally his. “We have all been invited to spend a lovely time in their country for diplomatic reasons. There's potential for us to leverage their technology in our favour. It will depend on how pretty Ackerman can look for them, I suppose,” he says like he's funny. “No further questions needed, you're dismissed for the day.”

Levi’s heard about the Hizuru deal from Alexander Tybur. From him and everyone in the family actually. They have been pissing their pants about it since before Levi came back from Valerica. He can’t understand what the big deal is, but apparently, one of the most ancient, wealthy, and important families on this continent reside in that country. A chance to befriend them means Alexander's political advantage, and that’s all he’s been hoping for. If he can get a country other than Marley to notice how powerful he is after taking Levi in, then Marley will stop holding any power over him. 

Zeke and Levi walk in silence out of the office and outside the building. Their orders are to check in with Magath and get back home, but Levi wants to know where Erwin is. If he knew Levi would be coming back today and there's a chance he's at HQ today, or he got into trouble again and is locked up in some dank cell. Levi wants to know why Erwin never replied to any of his letters, but maybe he's been following his orders to not communicate with Levi.

As he walks to the main gates with Zeke, Levi’s torn between running directly to the training fields on the other side of the premises and getting back home without calling much attention. 

“They are not taking you back to Paradis,” Zeke says. They have a few meters to talk before they are separated into two different cars and taken out of this place.

“Are you worried about the kids?” Levi asks him. He knows Zeke isn't, he's pretending. He likes showing a side of him that's not true, but Levi can see right through him.

“Yes, I don't want them thinking they've been through hell for nothing,” Zeke says.

“They'll be happier to be home.”

“It freaks me out to hear you being optimistic.”

“It’s time they come back; we might just not go to Paradis at all.”

Zeke lets out a deep sigh. “That's more like it,” he says.

“You will cry about it anyway,” Levi tells him.

“You just know everything about me, sugar pie.”

Once they walk out of the gates, Zeke holds Levi’s hand and brings it to himself. “I’ll see you at your Lord’s house—”

“If you kiss my hand, you’ll spend all afternoon growing a new arm,” Levi threatens.

Zeke smiles, slowly letting go. “See you tonight,” he says and walks away.

Five months ago - Valerica

“Tch, you're gonna smoke now.”

Zeke's kneeling, holding the cigarette between his lips, his tie falling over his shoulder—that's the only piece of clothing on him. He puts his glasses on before getting his lighter from the table next to him.

“You did as you pleased already,” he mumbles, lighting his cigarette.

“Is that a treat then? You want me to pat your head and call you a good boy?”

“Please,” Zeke breathes out with a faint smirk.

Levi walks to him, scrunching his nose, disgusted by the cigarette smoke. He holds Zeke by his cheeks and stares at him. “I hate your fucking beard,” he hisses, shoving Zeke's face.

“I know,” Zeke answers, huffing a laugh.

“I hope you've learned something today,” Levi says.

“Yes, my Lord.”

It's either because of boredom or the fact that Erwin hasn't answered any of his letters, most likely because of the amount of death he experiences daily, but finally, Levi feels as though he managed to have control over something—someone. Zeke likes pretending to be strong and self-sufficient but he prefers it when he's told what to do—even more so if he's threatened. So what Levi has just learned this afternoon is that whenever Zeke tries to get close to him despite not shaving that nasty prickly beard, all Levi has to do is pull from his tie and force him to his knees.

Zeke is a lousy flirt; too needy, too obstinate, too much of a liar. He’s been telling Levi nonstop how much he misses fooling around with him like he used to in his Marley office, how much he needs to blow off some steam like they did on his couch more than once. Levi's not sure he misses that at all but surely he has enjoyed staring at Zeke's face just now, twisting and turning, trying hard to avoid climaxing too soon. It feels nice to teach someone who thinks himself so clever a lesson.

Levi showers with hot water in a house that's not his own. Marley has been ploughing through Valerica without any regard for people's lives or desires and has occupied any empty houses that were not destroyed. Levi has seen soldiers taking advantage of every helpless civilian they could and has done nothing about it. He’s lost any humanity left at this point, if he ever had any. He’s a carcass of a man, a plain killer who follows orders and holds nothing dear anymore. Maybe Zeke’s ways have been sticking to him. Maybe Levi’s a liar too, after all.

The thing Levi hates the most about war may be how inconsistent it is. They have to fight all day and all night until they don't anymore. Sometimes they sleep on a bed and others on the floor. The food might be cold or hot and the water might taste like piss or iron. Mail isn't consistent either and Levi grows tired of watching other soldiers get letters while he doesn't. He hates that he’s the only one who noticed Alfie stopped showing up, and it's awful to know they could be here for another month or maybe another year. Marley likes pretending they don't like bloodshed, promising that the attacks will stop if the Valerica government surrenders all power. Meanwhile, they’ve decided to burn everything to the ground; Zeke launches rocks like missiles; soldiers shoot and rape civilians daily, men, women, and children alike; nobody is safe. They will triumph over a land of ashes.

Levi can't manage to feel at home anywhere. He was never at home in the Underground and he was never at home in Marley either. His home died by that beach under Gerst's gun. He thought he'd find a home in the Internment Zone but was ripped from that as well. He wonders if he would've felt freer dead than he does now, surrounded by desolation.

After his shower, Levi dresses up and grumbles when he finds Zeke still naked, lying on the couch with a book in his hands.

“Oi,” he says, “I have to sit there.”

Zeke moves his feet as if that’s enough.

“Get up,” Levi orders, crossing his arms. “Go shower.”

“In a minute,” Zeke whines.

“I don't want your hairy ass on the couch.”

“Just my hairy face between your legs,” Zeke groans, getting up.

“Your face was nowhere near my legs.”

“You're so literal, no fun at all.” Zeke stretches, groaning some more before letting out a deep sigh.

“Keep your beard away from my face and legs, go shower,” Levi says. 

He sits down and fetches Zeke's book; this one seems like the type Zeke can read in one sitting, he says drama plots are easy to follow. Levi has come to enjoy those a bit but he doesn’t think he will ever be able to read a full book in such little time. Just as Zeke's finally leaving for the bathroom, someone knocks at the door so he just strides that way instead and opens up.

“What the fuck, Zeke.” It's Wald.

“Never drop by a man's house unannounced,” Zeke tells him.

“Get some fucking pants on.”

“I'm on my way to the shower. What can I do you for?”

“Pieck's looking for you.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Fuck would I know? I asked if the artillery backpack was uncomfortable but she never said anything. Maybe she's on one of those days, go figure how that affects a fucking titan.”

“And you offered help with the backpack, such a kind soul. She doesn't deserve you,” Zeke quips.

Levi cannot believe he's still naked like that—at least he took the tie off. It would be nice if he would just shut the door, though, because the room is already freezing up.

“Are you coming or not?” Wald insists.

“Yeah, I'll be there.”

Zeke doesn't close the door and doesn't say anything else. Levi frowns, staring at his ass, and notices Wald peeking behind Zeke’s arm.

“Anything else?” He asks.

“You two sure spend all day locked in,” Wald says.

Zeke lets out a sharp laugh. “Are you blaming us for staying warm and cosy?”

“Too cosy, I'd say,” Wald answers, peeking at Levi again.

“You can join anytime,” Zeke offers leaning forward but Wald seems to slap him away.

“Fuck off,” he snarls. “Just get to the Cart Titan quickly, I can't stand her.”

“My pleasure,” Zeke says, shutting the door closed. “Isn’t he a sweetheart?” he asks, turning around.

“You should step over him next time you get a chance,” Levi offers.

“You could just fall with your blades over his head,” Zeke answers. “A misstep.”

“How reckless of me,” Levi provides, smirking and watching Zeke's ass leave for the bathroom.

Now - Tybur Manor

Dinner is louder than usual because the kids by the table are screaming for Zeke’s attention, who is all too happy to give plenty of it. Willy was allowed two glasses of wine for this special occasion and is drunk already so he won't stop yapping about art, music, and culture with his father while the girls talk to each other. Levi's just happy to eat proper food and know he can have biscuits and tea before bed.

When dinner is ready, the kids are impossible to take to bed. They are too excited and Alexander does nothing about it so the maid struggles to put them in their place. They pull from Zeke's clothes, asking him if he's staying the night and begging Levi to sing them lullabies. None of that is happening, unfortunately for them, this special occasion is not recreational but political.

After Bert drags the kids across the floor and away from them, Alexander gathers his guests by the window table for some tea. Zeke sits down with a grin on his face and rubs his hands together, making Alex chuckle. He says he's been looking forward to these vanilla biscuits all day and wins a kiss on his head from his adopted father who only shows love when he needs a favour.

“So grown up!” Alex exclaims, holding Zeke's chin. “And as handsome as ever.”

Levi hates to agree. He's handsome because he's got a pretty face even with all that hair—the beard is still awful and prickly and stinks of cigarettes.

Magath is tipsy, Levi can tell from his watery eyes and the smile that grows on his face as Alex spikes his tea.

“Albert excelled himself with dinner as always,” he says, pouring some rum. “Right, Levi?”

Levi nods, lounging on his chair and sipping his tea.

“How about you, Theo? Enjoyed dinner?”

“Mhm.” He nods. “The wine was delightful.”

Levi tries to hide his smile behind the teacup while Zeke laughs and chokes on his tea. As much whiskey as Magath might sip in his office, he's not known for getting drunk at all, differently from the rest of the officers, so this is new for them.

They talk about the weather and Valerica, about what Levi will be doing in the upcoming months. Of course, Levi's not doing any of the talking, nor does he have a say in any of it. He's going to take pictures and do press rounds; they will place more posters with his face on the streets and publish articles about him. He will be sold as the image of salvation even though he thinks of himself as the image of death. He's been killing people ever since Kenny took him in; his new adopted family wants the same from him. Killing has always been Levi’s job. It's sickening but he rolls with it, he's always been told to kill and did it without failure, he doesn't think he could do anything else even if he wanted to, he got used to it before anything else. 

Levi’s nothing but a myth coming true for these people, in these lands. He hates knowing everyone expects something from him and that they are right to do it; he's truly stronger and faster than anyone else and if it wasn't for this war, he wouldn't know what to do with what he's got. Living like this makes a lot of this different because anything Levi does puts him in the spotlight. Alexander and the politicians were so damn happy when a picture of Levi feeding the postman boy Alfie started spreading around the papers. It was so positive for their image and political party that they asked Levi to do more of that. Their intentions are empty but the results are real, so Levi has already asked Alex to forward some of his money to foster homes and to look for Alfie’s family. 

If Levi’s wasting his time killing innocent people and unable to take revenge, he might as well take advantage. Erwin didn't cross the ocean to retrieve a good tap dancer after all; he didn’t risk his life to get an Ackerman because he wanted Levi to go unnoticed either.

He's also hoping that after the waters have settled and he's back into training, Alex will request for him to train on rifle shooting with Erwin. Levi's been trying to make a case about it, about how he'd be more useful if he could kill up close as much as from a distance and the mere idea gets Alex's eyes all sparkly. 

But now, they have different plans for him.

“You are out of your mind, Theo,” Alex says. “I will not marry my daughter just to make her a widow.”

“Playtime's done, Alex,” Magath mumbles, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. “The brass wants this sorted out, once and for all. This kid ain't gonna be worth much post-war, and nobody's gonna give a damn about him, a devil from some far-off island. The opposition will make sure to remind everyone of that.”

Levi's never heard him being so open, so honest, even in front of Alex with whom he seems to be the only person on a first-name basis. Zeke looks at Levi during this whole conversation probably enjoying how they toy around with him, thinking about things to say once they are left alone about how he’s been promised like a princess. He loves hiding his fears under lousy jokes.

“People love my Levi,” Alex insists.

“Your Levi is only useful during the war alone,” Magath points out. “Mark my words, when we make our move on Paradis, his stock's gonna plummet. His skills won't mean squat when the press can't get to him. How long did you reckon this little game would go on for?”

“If I may, sir,” Zeke says. “Having an Ackerman on our side was the whole point of invading Paradis.”

“That was Erwin's idea. He's got this notion about Ackermans—”

“Just as we feared, the devil in possession of the Founder has erased everyone's memories of the world!” Alex exclaims. “Levi is immune to that power, it is known! It has been told and retold by my ancestors!”

“And what of it?” Magath snarls. “Is that going to make a difference when he's ordered to attack the island?”

“Levi isn't a shifter and he doesn't need to be,” Zeke says. “We might be Warriors but he could still easily defeat all of us in the blink of an eye. I would not want to be on a battlefield against him.”

Magath grumbles, frowning at Levi. He doesn't understand where this is going but the weirdest thing of it all is that Erwin is not included in this conversation. It's possible he's not aware that the Paradis operation has been put on hold either. Is Erwin even in Marley anymore? He always leaves, no matter how much Levi tells him not to, no matter how many letters he writes or how useful he's for this cause. Everything keeps going sideways. Erwin was supposed to be a part of this; he wanted to be in charge of the invasion; he wanted to take control and change things but nothing is turning out the way he wants it. Nothing has. Not from day one. Not from the moment Farlan and Isabel got shot. Yet Levi is stupid enough to trust him, trust his intentions and his guts. Levi can't step down so easily, so quickly, just because he's impatient. Erwin's the only other person here who set foot in Paradis, he's the first one that found a way around this mess of a war so he would surely have something clever to say, something that would change Magath's mind.

But Erwin's nowhere near.

“Listen to me, Theo,” Alex calls. “I will not sell a tragic love story to ruin my family's lineage. If you want my daughter to marry Levi then he's not going to battle in any of your wars again.”

“Do you hear yourself, Alex?” Magath scoffs. “This is not my war, nor is it yours. Just as it is not your decision to make or your daughter's.” 

“Sir—”

“Silence,” Magath spits out, frowning at Zeke. “Do you think I enjoy being in the middle of this? Erwin brought this creature along and all its problems with him. Then you decided to join the mix,” he tells Alexander. “Yes, now we're all in this. If you don't like following orders you shouldn't have stepped in. They don't have a choice; you do, Alexander.”

Levi suddenly hears Erwin all over Magath's words. He's spoken similarly before and it made Levi wonder what the reason behind his obsession with duty was. Levi doesn't understand Erwin's obsession with following his superior's orders, especially when people like Magath or Gerst are in command. Yet Levi follows rules just as much now, waiting for Erwin's order, waiting to see him again, to get the final call. And the more Erwin is away and remains aloof the harder it is for Levi to grasp what happened on that beach the night before they sailed to Marley. Erwin's words made Levi care, he made Levi believe in something.

But Erwin's not here anymore.

“Theo, you are only here as a sign of respect for our many years of friendship,” Alexander says all so politely, he doesn't look like he's lost his calm at all, he doesn't look affected and that's exactly what defines this family. “But you don't have a saying on this. You can blame that Smith boy all you want.”

Levi's stomach flips every time he listens to anybody say his name and he becomes so self-aware of all his movements as he attempts to not move an inch.

“You can blame Calvi for allowing him for all I care,” Alex adds. “You cannot deny he kept his word. You cannot deny Levi's strength.”

“I blame you, for taking this away from me,” Magath seethes. 

Zeke doesn't hide his surprise and Levi's eyes jump from him to Magath to Alex and back. This doesn't seem like a conversation to have around soldiers but the rum and wine did not sit well with the general. He will die before accepting Levi's presence works in his favour. It's weird that after all the respect he had for Erwin, he's so proud as to hate him for coming back with a prize that he doesn't get to keep.

“Do not dare, Theo. When did you get thirsty for recognition?”

“This is not about recognition,” Magath answers through gritted teeth. “I am a war general stuck to my desk! I should be out in the field.”

Alex scoffs. “Let Gerst take the bullets for you, dear.”

“The other side of the world is fighting their own wars. We don't have time to waste,” Magath says, suddenly at ease. “Our next target will mark our warfare advantage and I will be in charge of it. Your Ackerman is coming with. And if he's not an official part of your family, of this country, then he's nothing.”

Alex lets out a deep breath through his nose. It's so stupid that a simple marriage can mean so much to these people. Levi's also not sure why Alex is so against hurrying this up, considering it was his idea to begin with.

“There's so much preparation involved, Theo,” he says. Somehow, everyone’s tone changed too much, as if they finally noticed they were embarrassing to watch. “This wedding marks a before and after for our family as much as it does for this nation.”

“You have time until the end of the year. Make it a summer wedding if you will. Set a date to announce while we're in Hizuru,” Magath growls, staring at Levi. “We'll see who's really on our side then.”

Levi doesn't know what that's about. Hizuru means nothing to him; Erwin never mentioned that place, to begin with. Besides, if they are not attacking it, Levi has no leverage either.

“Give me—” Alex breathes in and out, deeply, setting his hands on the table. “Give me time to think it over.”

“There's nothing to think about.”

“I understand. You are giving me an ultimatum. Give me at least time to sit on it.”

“You have a month, Alex,” Magath says, standing up. He stumbles on his feet a bit and tries to play it cool. He probably thinks no one knows how drunk he actually is. “We should continue this privately.”

“Another day, maybe?” Alex asks, getting up himself.

“Another day, yes.”

“Let me walk you to the door, please,” Alex says, holding Magath's arm and walking with him. “Albert will drive you to your place, ok, darling?” Alex offers, looking over his shoulder and Zeke nods politely.

They leave, muttering words under their breath until the front door closes. They will probably be fighting with each other some more before Magath hops on a car.

Zeke gets up with a sigh and stands behind Levi, squeezing his shoulders. He then places his lips on the crown of his head.

“He hasn't mentioned the kids once,” Zeke mumbles. “He doesn't give a fuck.”

Levi doesn't answer, this is not what Zeke is truly thinking about. The kids aren't even kids anymore at this point. Levi thinks they are at least the same age he was when Erwin showed up in the Underground to take him and his friends out. They might be as dangerous as any other Warrior and as bloodthirsty as Zeke. 

“The only thing keeping me sane is how good your hair smells,” he breathes out.

Something eerie stirs Levi's insides. Everything is being unfolded and he doesn't know how he will deal with it. Not having Erwin around means not knowing how things might develop; will he even come back? Levi has no control over it, he can't reach Erwin tonight, he might not see him again. Would he eventually show up? Right now, like this, the only person Levi's got around to trust in is Zeke. The only one that might stay if he asked for it, if he demanded it just by giving something in exchange. Levi knows how this has turned out before, just like any other time he tried to forget Erwin abandoning him, he knows where it will take him. 

Three months ago - Valerica

To Erwin Smith, Liberio Headquarters

By the time you get this letter you probably heard the news about Valerica. They are under Marley territory now. Soldiers say we won. I didn't win shit.

I stopped writing because you never answered. I started writing because it felt like something useful I could do. I learned some stuff. Zeke says my hand writing got better. If you got any of my letters maybe you could tell. If you didn't want me writing then don't worry becaus this is the last one.

Alfie stopped showing up, I fear he might have died. Nobody knows about him, they didn't know his name. The new brat is called Danny. He said he failed the physical training to the titan internship. I don't believe a word he said. I rekon was trying to impress me. But maybe you know him.

Abandoned another book, it was boring. Do you read books even if they are boring? I don't know who I'm asking questions to.

In the last battle a soldier begged for his life and I told him to run. He shot his gun at me and I sliced trhough his head. I can't remember the last time I killed someone out of pure spite. He was stupid to die like that.

The doc says I'm lucky the bullet went throug. I only have a fever. Been in bed all week but getting better. They won't let me travel until the end of the month so I figured I could write something but I don't know what to write other than letters for you. I'm glad you're not here to take my fever too serious.

Maybe you left on another suicide mission. Maybe you died. I will know in a few months. 

They want people to see me, my face is already on the paper here. They are calling me Death Raven now. I don’t understan why they keep making shit up, Levi is a simple name.

I counted the full moons but I think I missed a few. My favorite is still the thin one. Cresscsent I don't know how to write it. You know the one. 

If you are not reading then I'm no writing anymore.

Don't die.

Levi

 

Chapter Text

Two years ago - Sailing back to Marley

Erwin's reading on the other side of the table after spending the last four nights writing nonstop. They’ve been told the ship will arrive at Marley before the sun rises and the crew has been getting everything ready to disembark and unload the cargo. After dinner it was time to get back to their regular tasks so Erwin and Levi mopped the shower floor and walls as usual before getting back to their room to drink some tea.

Levi snatched Erwin's pen to scribble on a clean sheet of paper as an excuse to do something that might keep him busy. He’s overly nervous and anxious; being locked inside this ship is painful. No matter how big it is you cannot get out, no matter the expanse of the sky above him, he’s only moving in one direction. He doesn’t like the ship, he doesn’t like the ocean. Yet the more he thinks about it, the more he realises he wouldn’t want to get back underground anyway. He doesn’t know where he belongs regardless. Here, at least, Erwin knows where he’s going and Levi can follow suit, keeping Isabel’s and Farlan’s dreams alive. He's quite hesitant about what will happen when they arrive, twitching his feet beneath the table from just thinking about it, annoyed to think he will have to adapt to a new routine yet again. At least he will have Erwin's house to clean. Maybe his father will ask as many questions as he does; surely he talks a lot too, Erwin must’ve gotten that from someone. Levi just wants to avoid cooling down, he doesn’t want to miss the chance to dig his fingers into Gerst's neck. Wald is next.

“How's that writing going?” Erwin asks.

“Not writing.”

“Is that… her?” Erwin stands up to hover over Levi's shoulder.

“Yeah, can't get her hair right.”

“It looks exactly like her.”

“She looks weird,” Levi says.

Erwin chuckles. “Maybe a bit lazy-eyed.”

“What's that?”

“It's perfect as it is,” Erwin says. “I didn't know you could draw.”

“I can't.”

“You clearly can,” Erwin says, huffing a laugh.

“I did you too,” Levi says, flipping the page, “with your stupid fat face.”

Erwin looks at the drawing and cackles, throwing his head back. It's the first time he laughs so loudly and Levi finds he’d like to smile too, but can’t find how.

“I look like this?” Erwin asks.

“No, I suck,” Levi says, grabbing the paper but Erwin snatches it from his hands. “Hey!”

“Please, let me keep this.”

“No,” Levi says, snatching the paper back. He rips it to pieces and Erwin screams.

“No!”

“Go back to reading,” Levi says, dismissing him with his hand.

“Please,” Erwin says again, chuckling and rummaging through the ripped paper.

Levi has to stand up to push him away and Erwin just keeps finding everything so funny. He holds onto a piece of paper for dear life no matter how much Levi tries to take it from him.

“Fucking—stupid,” Levi mutters, pushing Erwin to the floor. 

He falls on his ass flinching and Levi avoids jumping on him because he refuses to hustle any longer. He doesn't want to join Erwin's stupid little game so he just crosses his arms and looks at him as he laughs on the floor. The whole ordeal reminds him of Farlan whenever he decided to be purposely annoying and it hurts because Farlan is not here and Levi doesn’t feel comfortable tussling with a stranger. 

He turns around sniffing, trying to hold the tears back. “Fucking keep it, then,” he says and clears his throat.

“I will,” Erwin says, letting out a deep sigh. “I will treasure my fat face.”

Now

Levi stands on a wooden stage. The Marleyan flag fluttering behind his back, the press snapping pictures at him and the people screaming his name; the girls just shrinking incoherently. 

People love seeing him because if he survives the war then they think they will survive it too—they are stupid. They think Levi will save them from death; they think it's okay to have someone else do the dirty work for their politicians and take over land just to have more power—they are oblivious. Alexander and the Governor keep taking Levi from city to city to show his face, to receive flowers and to hang posters of him on every street calling him Humanity's Strongest and Marley's future.

Today is different though, because today he finds Erwin's blond head and blue eyes among the crowd. 

It's hard to tell at first, he looks familiar and new at the same time. His perfect hairdo is combed to the side and his buttoned-up shirt tells Levi it's undeniably Erwin, but he’s a man now; the softness of his face is replaced with a square jaw and a protruding chin. He's in uniform but what he wears best is his smile; big white teeth that scream louder than anyone around him. Levi stares at him after not seeing him for a year and he’s not sure how to feel about it, feeling his whole body is stiff, his hands, his legs, his forehead. He wishes he wasn't frowning but can't help it, yet Erwin's smile doesn't fade away. His eyebrows perk up for a second as if they were having a conversation with just their eyes: Erwin's saying that it's been long and Levi's telling him he hates being here.

It’s been too damn long. He's been looking forward to seeing Erwin, to listening to him; he must have so much to say about Paradis and Magath, about the war. Levi knows he reads the papers daily so he must also have things to say about him. It'd be also interesting to know what he's doing here. Why did he decide to show up, why today and why here, why didn't he write back? Is he even still training the new Warriors or has he been removed from duty yet again?

After Alexander Tybur is done with his speech, Levi walks to the centre of the stage and people cheer him on, clapping and screaming. They throw letters and dark red roses at him. They throw compliments too. People yell at him: telling him how much they love him, telling him he's a hero. Levi’s heard it all and believes none of it. He only believes in Erwin who’s looking back at him; he didn’t leave Levi alone.

Suddenly, Levi moves quickly, dodging something that someone from the crowd throws at him, bigger and heavier than a rose or a letter. He moves to a side and looks back at the ripped Marleyan flag; down on the stage is a rock. He’s quickly pulled away from the stage as the people go wild, trying to run away. The police go even wilder, lounging over someone and beating him up, kicking him on the floor. Levi isn't even sure if that’s the culprit as he’s forced to run to the car. He looks through the rear windshield but Erwin's nowhere to be found; besides, most of the people who didn’t run away decided to gather around the car to tap the windows begging for Levi’s attention, but he just sits back straight and frowns.

“Are you alright, my Lord?” Bert asks and Levi nods.

“These people are animals,” Alexander says. “I knew this city would be dangerous.”

Levi doesn't know what city this is; all he can think about now is Erwin among the crowd and Magath's words saying people will always hate him for being from Paradis. He saw this coming and warned Alexander about it just a few weeks ago, but he didn’t want to listen. Everything will start going sideways for him now, he will freak out even if he won’t show it, he might just have to marry Levi sooner rather than later.

The rest of the presentations are cancelled for the day. Alex picks up the phone as soon as he’s home to call the press; he wants to make it clear that this behaviour is repulsive and unacceptable because that’s no way of treating Marley's future the way they did. 

Levi overhears him from the next room while Bert offers him some tea. He's glad to be done with this matter earlier than usual so he doesn’t take the offer and runs up to his bedroom before the Tybur kids realise he's home. They always expect him to play with them and even if those are some of the nicer afternoons for him, he would much rather spend these hours alone. He can only lock himself in his room at night when everyone goes to bed so today, he considers himself lucky. He will have to spend the rest of the evening with Lara keeping him company afterward. She's quiet and keeps to herself ever since Levi got back from war. He's gotten a lot of mail and she loves reading it out loud to him. He couldn't care less about what most people have to say, but it's pleasing to hear Lara's voice; she's soft and graceful, chuckling at some of the ridiculous things people say; other times she gets emotional when people write about their sad stories and how Levi has given them strength to move on. Levi thinks she might just not be as snobby or selfish as the rest of her family; it helps break the undeniable ice between them. Two people who don't like each other and are forced to spend time together before getting married—Levi doesn’t think she likes him at least, considering how they always keep their distance from one another. 

All by himself in his bedroom, Levi opens the window in his bedroom before lighting a cigarette, then he grabs a pen and paper. He sits by the table, closing his eyes, and pictures Erwin's big head—not as round anymore as it is square. He looks so grown up now as if his eyes have finally found where to settle on his face and his features started to make sense. Levi opens his eyes and lets his hand flow, starting with the nose, the sharp bridge, and the bushy, thick eyebrows. He doesn't dare to draw bigger things than his thumb— especially not this kind—so he works on the corner of the paper. He's still bad at doing hair and he doesn't like how the eyes turn out so he tries again, a little bigger, then a little smaller, then again and again until there are five faces drawn all over the sheet of paper. Once he’s done, he uses the lighter to burn the paper to ashes, thinking he might practice some more at night when everyone goes to bed. The unsmoked cigarette lies there, burned to the butt in the ashtray too.

“You look nervous, my Lord,” Bert says and Levi frowns, looking at him through the rearview mirror. 

They have arrived at the HQ gates but Levi's still inside the car, twitching his feet.

“Would you like me to make your favourite dinner tonight?”

Levi huffs. “Make Zeke's.”

Bert smiles softly. “I can understand how stressful getting back to your general might be.”

“That’s not it,” Levi says, letting out a deep sigh.

“Is there anything I can do for you, my Lord?”

Levi cracks his knuckles and opens the door. “Nothing, thanks,” he replies, getting out.

He shows his identification to the soldier at the gate. It's a different guy than usual this morning and he scrutinizes the papers and looks at Levi like he doesn't know who he is. Once he makes it through, he walks fast and past the HQ main building. He's not looking forward to seeing Zeke at the moment, no matter how long it’s been. He’s probably sitting by his desk already, hoping to grope Levi and make up for their time away. Just thinking about it makes him flinch and so he speeds up his pace. The place is huge, but he’s never explored it all because training with the Beast Titan means driving miles away from here; he’s never visited the training fields but he knows he should stumble upon them once he's reached the far side of the premises. A few officers walking by recognise him and stare; it's not as early as usual and there are a lot more soldiers and plenty of cars coming and going all around him.

Levi swallows, wetting his dry throat after breathing in the cold morning air. His teeth chatter as he shivers, looking around until he finally hears the shot of a rifle. It’s striking to feel the loud bang is calling for him; he follows destruction and death, not the other way around. He speeds up, walking in fast short steps until he finally sees the shooting range. 

A tall blond man stands straight and exclaims, “Load!” Erwin’s voice is deep and loud. He raises his hand. “Make ready!” He orders and the little warriors follow suit. “Fire!”

Levi doesn't know what he's doing as he stands still, staring at Erwin’s back. He didn’t plan this, he just acted on it. There was nothing else to do here in HQ this morning. Zeke’s office is as cold as this field, there’s no other place he’d feel any better.

“It's Humanity's Strongest!” One of the kids says, forcing everyone else to turn around. They stare at Levi quizzically, including Erwin. 

“Warriors, unload,” he orders.

“What is he doing here?” another kid asks.

“Gabi, please,” Erwin says as he walks toward Levi. “Unload your weapons and set them by the table.” 

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I'm back.”

Erwin smiles. “I see. First day, then?”

“Yeah.”

“You're not allowed back here, are you?”

Levi shrugs. He looks behind Erwin at the kids who stare back, not doing what they were told. He doesn't know where else to look now that he's here. Erwin is taller and bigger and the morning sun makes his eyes shine brighter, making Levi feel warmer.

“It's nice to see you.”

“Did you get my letters?” Levi asks.

“N—no… did you write?”

“I did,” Levi says, looking at Erwin’s chin. “Some… in Valerica.”

“I didn't.” Erwin frowns. “Did you send them here?”

“I don't know how to send letters,” Levi answers, looking at Erwin’s clean-shaven skin.

“It's not easy during war. Sometimes the postmen don't make it through.”

Levi doesn't want to think about Alfie again so he shrugs.

“I could ask, maybe they are—”

“No, don't,” Levi says. “There's no point anymore. I just wanted to try it out.”

“Thanks for writing.”

Levi looks away to avoid Erwin's smile. “You got tall as fuck,” he spits out.

“I have,” Erwin says, chuckling. “I had to request new uniforms twice this past year.”

“Tch. I'll break my neck trying to speak to you.” Levi’s not joking, looking up at Erwin is no easy task. His skin shines in different shades of orange because of the sun and his eyebrows are darker than Levi remembers.

“It's lovely to see you, Levi. Are you training on the premises?”

“Don't know yet. Came here first.”

Erwin looks over his shoulder, forcing the kids to return to their duty before looking back at Levi. “I need to get back or else they will easily lose focus.”

“Are they any good?”

“They all are, yes. They work hard, constantly.”

“Poor kids.”

“Yes,” Erwin answers, huffing a laugh.

“Okay, bye,” Levi finally says, turning around and walking away, speeding up as much as he can and avoiding looking back.

Erwin's not angry at Levi, he hasn't forgotten Levi either. He smiles like he always has, and he acts like he always did. It makes Levi feel so stubborn, so stupid. He's always been right to trust Erwin but he's too impatient to wait for even the smallest sign. He bites his lips on the way to the main building, thinking he should sneak back into Erwin's place next time he gets a chance.

Walking up the stairs, he dreads looking Zeke in the face. He doesn't want to stare at his beard and avert his kisses, he doesn't want to endure his flirting this morning. He doesn't want to keep this up.

“Did Bert forget his way to HQ?” is the first thing Zeke asks.

Levi closes the door, scrunching his nose from the cigarette stink. The ceiling is filled with smoke so he walks to the window and opens the blinds.

“This place is disgusting.”

“Name one person that likes being here, Levi,” Zeke says.

Levi doesn't want to answer, he huffs instead.

“Where were you?” He asks.

“The training fields.”

Zeke hums.

Levi turns around, leaning against the window, trying to breathe fresh air. Zeke's hair is messy as well as his desk, nothing new. He smoked so much already that cigarette butts have piled up in his ashtray.

“We're training by the pier tomorrow,” Zeke says.

“When was the last time you took a shit?”

“How's Erwin doing?” Zeke asks.

“Pay him a visit and you'll know.”

“I might.”

“And another to the restroom,” Levi points out.

“Heard you the first time.”

Levi doesn't know what the fuck Zeke's problem is and doesn't care to ask. But they've been together enough that Levi can see he's gloomy. Maybe he's happier around dead bodies than here.

“You're invited for dinner tonight,” Levi says instead. “Bert will drive us both.”

“It's not like I have a call.”

Levi huffs. “You never did. I don't either.”

“You have plenty of calls.”

“None of us has a call, fuzzball. Keep crying if you feel it's worth something.”

“You talk like you're putting up any fight,” Zeke says, too stubborn, too cold.

“I was born without choices. I didn't get to choose who came into my mother's room to beat the shit out of her and I didn't choose to leave her corpse to rot. Fifteen years later I feel just like that kid.” Levi's not sure what he's trying to say, he's not sure he got his point across but considering the way Zeke's frowning, he probably didn't.

Magath calls them over not long after that only to scold them, saying they are probably useless now for taking time off after Valerica. He doesn't miss the chance to remind Levi he needs to speed up his marriage proposal and put a baby in Lara's belly if he wants to retain the love of the city folk and avoid being smashed by rocks—the sole idea brings a smile to Magath’s lips. He proceeds to debrief them on their incoming duties and their training locations, and he informs Levi that he will be also taking marksmanship training with Erwin as requested by the Governor. The sole mention of the name fills the room with a tense atmosphere. Levi can see how much Magath hates having Erwin do favours for anyone else. Even more embarrassing is Zeke balling his fists.

There was one time when Levi thought Zeke was just annoyed because Erwin didn't have to endure the battlefield, the shifting. Then he juggled the idea that Zeke might be jealous because he does not have any time off to go out and pick up ladies like he used to—and Erwin apparently does that constantly. But it’s finally clear that Zeke's just resentful. He holds a grudge—or many. He hates his life and so he hates everyone around him. He will probably never be able to care for anyone not even himself. Hence he will only make use of Levi as long as he can get something in return but Levi doubts he will give anything else at this point.

Bert picks them up in the evening as planned and the ride back to the mansion is silent. Zeke still smiles wide as Alexander greets him, ruffles his hair and calls him his favourite. He smiles even bigger when he thanks Bert for making his favourite dish for dinner, saying it was unexpected and that he always feels at home here. As soon as the rest of the family leaves for bed he's left with just Alexander and Levi. He doesn't go straight for the biscuits though, he goes straight for a cigarette.

Alexander starts with chit-chat because he does that so well. He talks about dinner and dessert, about wine and tea and then elections and war just to get into the mood. Levi has nothing to say but Zeke, as reluctant as he seemed all day, engages gleefully. And he has lots to say too.

“None of this helps your case, nonetheless. Isn't that so, Lord Tybur? Isn't that why I'm here?”

“Zeke, my love, you’re the only one I can trust with Levi’s life. You know that.”

“Anyone against Levi has a bounty on their head,” Zeke offers. “Levi can defend himself.”

“Yes,” Alex says. “He might be able to defend himself on the battlefield, but he can’t defend himself from politicians.”

“Then marry him,” Zeke says, shrugging. He drags his cigarette and doesn’t even try to spare a look at Levi.

It’s been like this for the past few years, ever since Levi got to this country. People talk about him like he’s not in the room, they never talk with him. They make decisions for him and then tell him what he should do for the good of society.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Alexander says, dismissing Zeke with a gesture of the hand. “Ackermans are the myth that has kept my family alive. I was the one who planned the wedding to begin with!”

“You don’t want Magath taking the initiative, though,” Zeke points out.

“Precisely, I do not.”

“Hm.” Zeke drags his cigarette, lounging on his chair as if he finally heard what he was hoping to hear.

“Zeke, darling,” Alex breathes out, leaning forward to touch Zeke’s knee. “You’re a smart boy. I trust you with Levi’s life,” he says for the second time—Levi has never stopped to think for a second about whom he trusts with his life. “If we let the military think they can marry my child, then the next step is being told who should inherit the Warhammer,” Alex explains. “They will pressure us to use it in the war, no matter how much we vowed for peace. I know how this goes. I’m not—my family is not where it is out of pure chance,” he states, checking his watch. “If they tell me to marry them and I do, they will want them to breed afterward. And then what?” He looks exasperated. He must be if he’s pouring all of this onto Zeke. “You know how they are, you know how it is. You know exactly the tests they will run on my family, on that baby.”

Zeke visibly licks the inside of his mouth, looking uncomfortable at Alex’s words. Levi is not putting a baby into anyone’s belly.

Alex lets out a deep sigh. “This is my—my family’s opportunity to win some balance back.”

“You want the Founder,” Zeke offers, smirking.

Alex squints for a second before he smiles back. “That’s my boy,” he says, palming Zeke’s knee. “I do not want this invasion to take any longer. And I will marry my daughter if it moves things faster, but I will not play by their rules. This alliance works because we stay clear from any of the military business yet they decide to force me into their games.”

“Well, Lord Tybur,” Zeke says, “we first need to know who's in possession of the Founder. We're not aware if our Warriors were successful. They might have not been as quiet as Smith was when Levi was still on the other side. King Fritz's threat is still weighing on us. If the citizens of Paradis are aware of the presence of new titans then we don't know what we'll find once we get there,” he explains, taking another to drag his cigarette. He pinches the bridge of his nose, blowing smoke through his lips and Alex checks his watch again.

“Those poor kids,” Tybur says, letting out a deep sigh, trying for sympathy. “Doing their duty, trusting we’ll come after them. Hoping what they do is right and just.”

“It is,” Zeke says.

Seeing two liars talk to each other so confidently puts Levi on edge.

“It certainly is,” Tybur says, checking his watch, “and they should be granted the respect they deserve. So, Zeke, our visit to Hizuru is not for military purposes, as you might imagine. You’re smart enough to know that.”

“You’re joining families?” Zeke asks.

“We are, indeed we are. We’re prioritizing families. Neither war nor countries. Those do not last.”

“Shifters will be useless to the world by the time we take on Paradis.”

“I’m afraid so,” Alex says. “Which leaves people like Theo wondering about the point of having an Ackerman. Once this is taken care of they will not try to make him breed. The military will dispose of him! And us too! I trust you understand our intentions,” Alex hastily says, standing up.

“I do, my Lord,” Zeke answers, following Alex with his eyes as he walks past them.

“If I'm not mistaken, there's a possibility Levi's father is still alive?” he asks Zeke.

“Just a theory,” Zeke answers, shrugging, “considering Levi knows nothing about him.”

“Maybe a sibling? Your parents' siblings?“ Alex's finally addressing Levi.

He's surprised none are mentioning Kenny. Did Erwin never include the old fucker in his reports? Levi shakes his head, hopefully encouraging them to keep talking to each other like he doesn't exist because he has nothing helpful to say.

“We want you to go to Paradis, this is clear, I hope,” Alex tells Levi. “You need to look for your family there, dear. The more the merrier. We need to rebuild these families from the ashes.”

“Well,” Zeke says, “Marley has different plans.”

“Which do not concern us.”

“Noted.”

“Perfect,” Alex exclaims, relieved. “Let's keep all of this to ourselves. Please, there’s no reason for the saviour to know about this,” he whispers, walking away.

“Saviour?” Zeke asks and Levi’s breath hitch.

“Erwin, my love!” Tybur exclaims as they turn around. “I see you received my gift. You look delightful. Handsome, handsome boy,” he says, offering a hug. 

He’s not in uniform but he seems well dressed, something that would surprise Levi if he wasn’t already so out of his mind. The grey armband held tight over Erwin’s brown jacket. He smiles but only politely and barely hugs Alex back. When Erwin’s eyes meet Levi and Zeke by the tea table, he nods and proceeds to take his armband and jacket off when Bert offers. 

Levi isn’t sure if he’s breathing, so aware of the speed at which his heart is beating. His chest is on fire and his palms are sweaty. He finds Zeke looking back at him—he’s not pleased in the slightest. He probably thinks Levi knew about this, and he certainly wishes he did. Levi knows how to keep his cool, but he can’t give no fucks about this. Not tonight. 

“I appreciate your invitation, Lord Tybur,” Erwin says, putting the armband back over his white shirt. He’s wearing a green tie and grey, pleated pants. Tybur must’ve paid for all of it.

“Please, come over, have a seat. Tea?”

“Yes, thank you.” Erwin walks closer. He’s not smiling, not like he did this morning when he met Levi on the training grounds. He smells different too, like scented soap, indicating to Levi that Tybur has planned this for longer than imagined.

Zeke lights another cigarette.

“Levi, would you?” Tybur asks, and Levi gulps, looking back at him. He’s asking Levi to pour the tea.

“Yeah,” he manages before clearing his throat. He’s not keeping his cool at all. He stands up, letting out a deep breath through his nose, and goes for the teapot. His pulse does not betray him but he feels very much observed. 

“Here’s your cold tea,” he quips, dismissing Tybur’s politeness for pure show. 

“Oh, Levi, don’t be like that,” Alex says.

“You either don’t care or he was very late,” Levi says, shrugging.

Alex chuckles. “You know where he lives and it's not nearby.”

Erwin doesn't say anything and neither does Zeke. They aren’t even looking at each other. Levi puts the teacup in front of Erwin and brings the biscuit plate closer too.

“There,” he deadpans.

“Thank you,” Erwin answers.

It’s awkward and uncomfortable and too silent as Levi sits back down, finding Alex’s gaze upon him.

“Alright!” he says. “Now that the whole family is here, I would like to discuss our trip to Hizuru.”

Whatever plan he’s got in his hands, it only includes Erwin to an extent, and he made sure Levi and Zeke know that. Levi’s not smart enough to understand what Alex’s going for but he knows he doesn't like it. All he wants to know is whether Erwin's game. 

“A family trip, I see,” Zeke says, letting smoke drip from his lips.

“We cannot take Levi there without his saviour, as they love to call you,” Tybur offers. He’s the one that came up with that. Levi’s sure of it.

“An alliance with the Azumabito family will increase your interests significantly,” Erwin says. His voice is low and deep, it reverberates right across Levi's chest. He didn't sound like this in the morning. Levi’s never seen him look this serious.

“Yes, let's be honest,” Alex says. “Any alliance achieved through peace will be very welcome after all this death.”

“Marley will not stop at Hizuru,” Zeke offers. 

“They will not but there's technology in play here,” Erwin provides.

“Yes, yes, please go over that,” Tybur says.

“You're taking our ODM gear samples,” Zeke states and he finally addresses Erwin.

“Precisely. I trust Hizuru will manage to upgrade them in such ways we can use it in our favour too. If we intend to invade Paradis head-on, we can't expect to face them on foot while they fly through the air. Learning that particular skill is the reason I was able to get close to Levi.”

“Tch. If you call that learning,” Levi says.

“That is true. It's not easy,” ” Erwin explains. “It takes balance and a special kind of dexterity that none of the Warriors are normally taught.”

“How did you learn, Levi, darling?”

He shrugs. “Doing it.”

“Levi excels in self-training and he trained his team as well,” Erwin says. “If changing the way people see him is one of your main objectives, my Lord, I suggest he trains Warriors from now on.”

“Levi holds power on the battlefield,” Zeke says.

“Thus, people fear him. He's Humanity's Strongest here but the raven that brings death everywhere else. Levi,” Erwin says, looking at him. He's nothing like the boy Levi once met yet he holds the same confidence. “Would you be willing to steer clear of the battlefield and engage in training duty instead?”

“Why do you act like I have a call? Just tell me what is needed of me.”

Erwin nods curtly. “The Azumabito alliance will help the continent trust the Ackerman clan as well as your family, my Lord. Unfortunately, Marley will still send Levi to fight in the meantime; there's nothing we can do about that. Or at least, if there's someone that can do something about it, it's you, my Lord.”

Alexander muses. He clicks his tongue and looks away as if exasperated. “Let's get Hizuru out of the way first. I want all of you to come. You're charming, Erwin, darling, they will love to hear everything you have to say. And Levi's gorgeous, dark-haired just like them. We might find some empathy in that. I sure know they are not happy with Marley destroying half of the continent out of a whim so I hope they are interested in peace at the very least.”

“If you allow me, my Lord,” Zeke says. “Disregarding the fact that you so passionately praised my friends here and left me aside, let's not forget Erwin’s main point. The future of technology depends on Hizuru and people with such power do not aim to please or for peace.”

“Not without asking for something in return,” Erwin adds.

“They will want Eldia,” Zeke explains. “And Marley will not let go of Eldia if they ever get to it.”

Alex scoffs. “There's nothing in Eldia they might want.”

“Resources,” Zeke says.

“The Ackerman clan,” Erwin adds. “Levi might not be aware, considering his history,” Erwin explains, turning to look at Levi, and staring right into his eyes. “But there's blood on that island. Ackerman blood. There might be others. There has to be. And Levi should be there to find them.”

“Him being there could be counterproductive,” Zeke offers.

“Levi's here because his friends, his…,” Erwin breathes in, “...family was threatened.”

“You want Levi to threaten them,” Alex points out.

“I believe Levi can wage on our favour. If there's something we've learned in the past year is that only one Ackerman holds as much power as a whole brigade.”

“Magath wants nothing to do with the Ackermans,” Zeke says. “Levi's constantly getting shit from him.”

“We all are. That doesn't change things.”

“It's almost as if you never wanted Ackermans for the sake of the country,” Zeke tells him with a faint smirk.

“Now boys,” Alex says. “You know very well how easily the government will read conspiracies wherever they look.”

Zeke lights another cigarette.

“As big as the premises of this house might be,” Alex explains, “there are still Marleyan soldiers keeping watch. Probably plainclothes officers are around us too. I trust the help but anyone can be bent with some money. So please, understand this is to remain as a simple tea night. I love spending time with the boys that saved my Levi.”

“It's my pleasure, my Lord,” Erwin tells him.

“I'm here for the biscuits,” Zeke says, making Tybur chuckle.

“You're lovely men, we'll have an amazing time in Hizuru. Erwin dear, make sure to pack your new clothes.”

“Will do, my Lord.”

“Zeke, darling, let me walk you to the car,” Alex says, standing up. “Albert!”

Bert shows up to bring Zeke’s coat over and they walk together towards the hallway corridor. 

As soon as they are alone, Erwin smiles at Levi, placing a hand on his knee and squeezing delicately. It's all so tender that he will finally accept he missed Erwin. He misses Erwin constantly, in fact, and probably will miss him the moment he walks out of the mansion. They remain silent. There's nothing to talk about even if there should be. Everyone has talked so much that not saying anything seems more honest. It feels right. Levi lets the tingling sensation on his knee spread across his thigh as Erwin moves his hand away. The biscuits remain untouched and the tea must be colder. Zeke cigarettes are all stubbed out in the ashtray. 

It's pleasantly quiet like it has never been. The kids are put to bed, the night is clear, and the help is not around. Levi feeds on these minutes alone with Erwin because they don't get many. He studies his appearance, the way his shirt is tight around the shoulders and his pants are loose around his calves, how his hair is perfectly combed, and how smooth the skin on his square jaw looks. 

Erwin looks at him too, at his shoes first and then at his pants, or maybe his hands, resting on his thighs. When their eyes find each other, Levi feels as though they are saying, Nice to see you again , and then Erwin keeps looking, up at his hair and down at his chest.

For a moment Levi wonders if he should speak, if he should move over and touch Erwin's arm. He wants to know how to stretch this out just as much as he wants to know what Erwin wants from him, what he needs.

Some footsteps announce Alex Tybur’s return. He walks in with a smile, heading back for his chair. “Quite the eventful night, isn’t it?”

“It’s always a pleasure to catch up with friends,” Erwin says.

“Why of course, I had a sense you and Zeke go way back. But you acted like such professionals.”

Erwin huffs a laugh looking at the floor, and he gathers himself before speaking again. “My father has always said that war changes people. I left this country for too long and nothing was the same when I came back. He went through many changes and so we grew apart.”

“It saddens me,” Tybur says, touching Erwin’s shoulder. “I don’t believe your relationship with Levi was compromised in this regard?”

The question makes Levi uncomfortable and he bites his tongue, thinking of how Erwin had warned him everyone would know he sneaked into his place late at night.

“Things were hard on that island. War can change people as much as it can bring them together.”

“Erwin, darling. I’m not your general. You can speak your mind here.”

Erwin smiles softly, looking at Levi before answering. “I believe in Levi’s strength and the good he can make. Even in a rotten world like this one. Even after being ripped from his home by a rotten man like myself.”

Tybur scoffs, waving a hand dismissively. “But he would not be your confidant had you killed his friends.”

“You will have to excuse me, my Lord. But as much as I would love to talk about what took place on that island, this particular subject is currently subject to a confidentiality order, rendering it classified information.”

Tybur tilts his head to the side and lets out a deep sight through his nose. “I’ve been told you’re a dangerously clever boy. I can see why. Regardless, I truly hope some time in Hizuru will help your friendship with Zeke, he’s a good lad. You will be staying in a military compound if I understand correctly.”

“Most likely, yes.”

“Okay, okay. Let’s get you to bed, it’s so late,” Tybur says, getting up. “You didn't have any tea!”

“It was cold,” Erwin offers, making Levi huff a laugh.

“Too smart for your own good, dear Erwin,” Alex sneers, poking Erwin’s head. “My driver shall take you home, please come with me.”

Erwin stands up and Levi stands up right along with him, suppressing an urge to pull from his shirt, to force him to look back, so he just stands, crossing his arms. Alex invites them to walk out of the room and down the corridor until they reach the main doors where Levi stops in his tracks and watches Erwin leave, waving with a gentle smile and saying how much of a pleasure this has been.

“He’s such a gentleman,” Alex says, wrapping an arm around Levi’s shoulder. “I didn't remember him being this handsome; but who could be with those raggy clothes he used to wear.”

“You flirt with every military man you meet,” Levi says, watching the car drive away. He shrugs to get rid of Alex’s arm.

“Oh!” he scoffs, slapping Levi’s arm playfully. “Watch your mouth, boy.”

Levi swallows, turning around to get back inside, feeling as though he finally has something to look forward to but afraid of how easily it could slip from his hands.

Everything does.

Chapter Text

An aircraft arrives at Hizuru at noon carrying Marley’s military officers and soldiers. Erwin has never flown before but in contrast to the other soldiers, he's the only one that has ever set foot in another country before. He’s heard that Levi is travelling in a private aircraft with the rest of the Tybur family so there's no way to know if they are in the country yet.

After spending all night awake, smoking marihuana with Zeke in the headquarters, Erwin is still not sleepy. He's anxious and excited and he’s trying to keep his cool. He knows he will end up crashing as soon as they arrive, but, likely, that will only happen after midnight.

“I'm starving,” Zeke mutters as they stand in a line while the officers make sure everyone has arrived.

“You've been hungry all night,” Erwin tells him.

“Hizuru better have something other than bread and cheese to eat.”

After two years of barely speaking to each other, spending a night together in HQ helped break the ice. It wasn't awkward; as usual, Zeke's social skills helped a lot. He can easily make anyone laugh, and they owed each other a lot of Ackerman talk. It felt different in a way that Erwin can’t yet point out; Zeke’s intentions seem different after all these years. Still, they talked about Levi's strength and speed, about his endurance and skills. Zeke told Erwin all about how Levi moves on the battlefield, how he came up with the idea of swinging from the Beast's arms, how he slashes through human and titan bodies equally, and how he looks afterward: furious, frustrated, hair dripping blood. Erwin learned that Levi had been shot during their last months in Valerica after he tried to spare the life of an enemy soldier. He recovered pretty quickly apparently and just hearing that fed Erwin's thirst to come up with new hypotheses—like how they did with Zeke when they were younger.

If Ackermans were created similarly to the rest of the titans, then who's to say they are not composed similarly? Zeke mentioned Levi has scars all over his body, so it's clear he does not possess the same regenerative skills as any shifter. Yet, healing from a bullet wound at such speed is still impressive, and developing a fever has Erwin's theories sparking new ones. On his part, Zeke has come up with some theories himself as he swears he's seen hints of titan marks on Levi's face and arms after straining himself, making Erwin feel unreasonably envious. He would love to see Levi fight first-hand, take a look at those marks in person.

In Hizuru they are taken to a military housing complex to leave their clothes, have a bath, and dress up again. Tybur has requested them not to be in uniform yet since they will not be on duty for now. The apartment is fancier than any complex an Eldian would be allowed in Marley.

Zeke is fast out of the shower so Erwin takes his time and enjoys the hot water until it runs out. Then he goes straight to his room to dress up. It's small but he doesn't need anything else, just a bed and a dresser; the military taught him to live with just that. If he gets hold of any books, there's always room under the table or the bed, the floor is his best bookshelf.

Lord Tybur made sure Erwin had a nice set of new clothes for these upcoming days and Erwin appreciates it. He's never worn such soft delicate fabrics and he's got a blue hat to match the pants and the stripes on his shirt. He also has a nice pair of round sunglasses. Zeke praises him for his looks and his new attire but he's wearing clothes just as fancy because Lord Tybur wouldn't let anyone look unkempt. At the door, a car is waiting for them and Magath is in the passenger seat, smoking a cigarette and looking bitter.

They drive for about half an hour through run-down streets where people work in their shops and sell food by the street while kids play on the pavement. Then they get so far away that their houses are separated and everything changes. They can see mansions at the back of big parks. The car drives through a gate and they are greeted by women in long kimonos and pink umbrellas. The traditional architecture with the wooden detailing of the mansion steals Erwin's attention from everything else. He's only seen this peculiar tiled roof and ornate wooden entrance in pictures but it all looks even more beautiful from up close.

They walk into a huge room and are welcomed by a large, low table. Lord Tybur is already here drinking tea with who Erwin assumes is Mrs. Azumabito. They immediately smile at them, getting up to greet them.

It’s only then that Erwin notices the boy pouring the tea is no other than Levi. He stands up so delicately, carefully adjusting the pleats on his yukata. He's wearing dark blue apparel adorned with white patterns of cherry blossoms. As much as being sophisticated is natural for him this looks suits him like he was born for it, as if it captivates his essence.

They are greeted with a gentle bow and invited to sit down. Erwin walks around the table naturally, looking forward to sharing a spot next to Levi since there's so much he'd like to talk about but Lord Tybur decides otherwise, inviting him to his side instead.

There are no chairs around the low table so Erwin just kneels, finding Levi's faint smile. He pours more tea as Tybur introduces them and tells Magath all about the things they were discussing before they arrived. But Erwin's barely paying attention as he listens to Zeke murmur words.

“Was wearing a dress part of the alliance?” he quips.

“You never grasped the art of humour,” Levi tells him.

“Is there anything underneath?”

Levi clicks his tongue, elbowing Zeke hard in the stomach and Erwin feels uncomfortable yet again in the sight of their friendship.

“Erwin, darling,” Lord Tybur calls. “Tell us a little bit about yourself.”

“I'm afraid I have little to tell. My father is a teacher; my mother was a domestic worker,” he explains, huffing a laugh.

“You're being humble,” Lord Tybur says, touching his arm. “You are the first and only soldier to cross the ocean and make it back alive.”

“Tell us about your trip to Paradis,” Mrs. Azumabito requests.

“Gladly,” Erwin says, collecting his thoughts. He was expecting all of this; it's the only reason they are interested in him. “It's been quite some time now and I was able to think back on it to understand the many things I did wrong. Taking someone from their home under threat,” he explains, looking at Levi, “is not the best way to win their trust. Nor the best thing to do for one's conscience.”

“Do you regret it?” She asks.

“No,” he answers, looking back at her, “I do not. I did what had to be done.”

“You did what was best for him,” Lord Tybur says. “What else would Levi be doing now on that island? You saved him! Like an angel.”

“Maybe it's the other way around,” Erwin offers.

“I was under the impression we would not touch these subjects,” Magath suddenly says.

“You're correct, general,” Mrs. Azumabito says. “My apologies, I’m merely interested in knowing more about your soldiers.”

“He reads and writes too.” Levi's voice comes out of nowhere and it's loud and clear, different from how Erwin is used to hearing.

“Do you? That's not very common among Eldians, is it?” Azumabito asks.

“It's far more common than it's believed,” Erwin offers. “Zeke here reads and writes wonderfully as well.”

“Not wonderfully, no,” Zeke explains. “You were top in class.”

Erwin sips his tea and smiles. It’s bitter and hot, but it’s better than any other tea he’s ever had. “I was lucky to be the son of the teacher to be honest,” he says.

“Cheater.”

“My father is a book enthusiast,” Erwin explains, feeling the tea heat up his chest, “and he would always read out loud and invite the students to read with him.”

“That's delightful,” Lord Tybur exclaims.

Mrs. Azumabito gracefully smiles, moving a lock of hair away from her face before asking, “Was there a particular book he would read to you?” She’s delicate and stern, Erwin notices, like a woman who has seen enough for one lifetime.

“School is all about history. We learn about Marley and the Eldian curse, as you might imagine. Some children's books are allowed as well so when we were around six he would always read The Magic Tree.”

“I like that one,” Levi suddenly says, taking a smile out of Erwin. He never told Levi that Isabel mentioned how he would sing songs about that book to help her sleep.

“Do you read as well, Levi?”

“No,” he answers. He doesn't expand.

Tybur huffs. “Oh, yes. Yes, he does. He's a proper reader and also an artist.”

Erwin can hear Magath grumble.

“An artist?” Mrs. Azumabito asks.

“Yes!” Tybur exclaims. “You should see the amazing portraits he can do. Nobody has ever captured my daughter's beauty as well as he has.”

Levi doesn't look like he's enjoying this conversation about him at all, but he's also being more polite and talkative than Erwin’s ever seen. Levi's never shown much respect for their officers. He never sits up straight when they are around, he barely maintains eye contact. Somehow, it all reminds Erwin of that night Levi snuck into his house and met his father. He doesn't talk much, but he isn't particularly rude. In this case, he looks more relaxed. He looks comfortable sitting on his knees—unlike Erwin who is already starting to feel his legs getting numb.

“Where did you learn to draw, Levi?” Mrs. Azumabito is inquisitive and friendly, or so it seems. But Erwin knows she’s a strong political presence for this continent and this cannot  merely be a social gathering.

“I barely trace lines,” Levi answers. “I like noses and eyes so I try to copy that on paper. That's all.”

“You like noses?” Azumabito asks, chuckling. “I've never heard that in my life.”

Levi shrugs. “Faces are interesting,” he explains. Levi barely ever explains himself as far as Erwin remembers, but they have seen each other so little that I'd make sense they both grew up to become different people. “Like your face,” Levi tells Azumabito pointing at her, “is similar to mine but different to them,” he explains, pointing at Erwin and Zeke. “Least of all him.” He points at Magath.

“You might be correct about that,” she says. “There’s history that traces the Ackerman clan back hundreds of years when they mixed within Hizuru.”

“That's impressive,” Erwin says, trying to hold the excitement from hearing new information about this clan. “I was under the impression Ackerman's oldest records were barely a hundred years old. But as you know, my knowledge is very limited.”

“I've heard the opposite about you,” she answers. “This is why you were taken to Paradis to retrieve Levi, isn't it so?”

“I said we're not talking about that,” Magath insists and Erwin wonders if that's the only reason he's here. Not to allow the conversation to turn war-related which might reveal any important and private information.

“The Ackerman clan has been a personal favourite subject of study. Mine and Zeke's,” he says, inviting his comrade to join in this conversation.

“What does it feel like?” she asks. “To know all those fairy tales are true?”

Erwin lets out a deep sigh, not able to hold the smile that grows on his face. “I…” he trails off. He thinks about what he can say and what he shouldn't. What he wants to say and what he doesn't. “Infiltrating a new country without knowing anything about it was the only challenge I was ready for. My objective was to keep my comrades safe. Once we were inside the walls we were merely looking for a person. Someone from a clan as powerful as this one could only be working for the higher class, protecting the king or any important family from the inner walls.”

Levi huffs. “You must get tired of being wrong all the time,” he says.

Erwin finds his eyes, frowning. “I was not. People with your skills are not easy to miss, not when paying attention.”

“I was not in Mitras.”

“That is not pertinent to the results,” Erwin says. The tone reminds him of the last time Levi tried to argue with him just out of spite, right in the middle of nowhere after they crossed the Paradis walls. “It was clear who you were as soon as we saw you.”

“Tch,” Levi exclaims. “I was not working for rich people.”

“You are now,” Erwin answers sternly.  He wants to laugh but swallows it all up, staring deeply into Levi's eyes, analysing that scowl and the almost imperceptible twitch of his lips.

Lord Tybur feels the need to break the ice with a fake chuckle. “His duty is with our motherland of Marley”, he says. “He’s part of my family, he doesn’t work for us.”

“Levi's doing a magnificent job,” Erwin offers, looking in Mrs. Azumabito’s direction.

“So I've heard,” she answers. “He is also the first human to match the strength of a titan in battle. Is that right?”

“Or…” Zeke steps in. “Maybe I'm the first shifter to match the strength of an Ackerman.”

The table chuckles at Zeke's quip, though there's nothing that will make Levi and Magath laugh, that's a given. A maid shows up to announce lunch will be served and the simple words make Erwin's stomach rumble; he's ravenous at this point, and he can't wait to eat some local food.

“Tell us, darling,” Lord Tybur calls Zeke's attention. “What is it like to fight alongside Levi?”

“It's messy and raw,” he answers, scratching his temple, pondering. “And he forces you to take a bath before dinner. No fun at all.”

“Interesting,” Azumabito says. “He was very talkative until you showed up just now. I wonder who's making him swallow all of his words.”

“General Magath,” Zeke jests and his expression shifts when the food arrives.

When plates are set in front of them, Erwin finds they only consist of a ball of rice and a small piece of meat so small in fact that he could fit both in one hand. He looks at Zeke through his eyelashes and finds him staring back. They will surely starve.

“Thank you,” Erwin manages, hoping the rumble of his stomach isn't as loud as it feels. There are chopsticks on one side of his plate and a fork on the other side, thankfully.

“It must have been hard not being close to your childhood friend all these years,” Azumabito tells Erwin.

“It was interesting following his and Levi's feats on the battlefield through the paper,” he answers, taking small bites out of his food; he wants the food to last and appear respectful at the same time. “I'm looking forward to fighting for my motherland again but by his side this time.”

He notices how Levi elbows Zeke as he stuffs the whole piece of meat into his mouth with his hand.

“ Behave ,” Levi chides under his breath.

“ No ,” Zeke answers, mouth full.

Erwin glances across the table, trying to pace himself since everyone seems to be eating very slowly except for Zeke, until he finds Azumabito’s eyes on him again.

“I hear you were the one to suggest upgrading Paradis' military technology,” she says.

Erwin nods, swallowing the one grain of rice on his tongue. “Unfortunately, technology is not my forte,” he explains, “but I have always trusted Zeke would know how to make the best of it. Especially after seeing Levi using it.”

“Always depending on grown-ups to do the job for you,” Zeke jests.

Erwin chuckles. “We're still the same age no matter how much beard you've managed to grow.”

“You still can't grow one yourself?”

“We're not sixteen anymore,” Erwin answers.

“You should try it though, we might pass for twins again.”

This has always been one of Erwin's favourite things about Zeke, how he can seem so relaxed and uninterested in the most important times. It’s bitter now though, when more things are at stake and he can’t believe any words Zeke says.

“No, thank you,” Erwin answers without explaining himself. His image is important, now more than ever, and he doesn't want to look raggedy; it can influence a big deal how he's perceived around in the military and elsewhere. Everything is a matter of first impressions and he has found he's grown to be very good at those.

A second plate of food arrives soon and Erwin tries to look as calm as possible. The conversation around the table remains amicable and trivial. Mrs Azumabito talks about her family and heritage, about how Ackermans have been long related to her family to keep the blood pure and safe. According to her, Ackermans' purpose evolved throughout time, and just as much as they were created to defend the King two thousand years ago, their duties changed to defend the most important families in the continent which helped Eldians create alliances.

This is ancient history. None of the books written by the Tyburs explain this fact, so Erwin listens intently. He learns that once the Eldians had secured lands and alliances, Ackermans were no longer used for war but rather as guards. They were historically paired with royal families to protect their lineage and lands. They were never servants even if born to serve. They may have been created for a single purpose but they evolved into so much more.

Erwin would still like to know how they are created. Grisha Yeager once told his father how King Fritz forced his children to eat the flesh of Ymir, thus transferring their secret genetics among the family. But it was never clear nor explained how Ackermans came to be; was someone fed flesh too? Or blood? Was it a result of transfusion experiments? Or something else? The more time goes by, and especially after meeting Levi, Erwin can't help but think there's a lot more to it, that there's something that goes beyond his comprehension and his father agrees. Now, Erwin can't wait to return home and tell him everything he learned during this trip.

After a third plate arrives, leaving Erwin full and satisfied, Mrs. Azumabito lets them know her plans for the following day. They are not staying in Hizuru much longer so she'd like Levi to stroll around town to be seen, which is most likely Lord Tybur's idea. After that, she would like them to meet with her team of technicians to look into the ODM gear. Once everything is settled, Magath has requested a private meeting with her since he will also be meeting with Hizuru's officers, but he doesn’t expand on his plans.

They drive around town and as soon as they get to the main street, their cars are immediately surrounded. Men, women, and children are excited to meet Levi. Though apparently, it’s not only about him; everyone wants to meet Erwin and Zeke too. Eldians are a rarity in any other part of this continent and it takes Erwin by surprise. As soon as they get out of the car, kids hug their legs and men touch their arms. None of them speak Eldian so there's no way to know what they are saying but they seem curious and content. They pull at their clothes and armbands, they touch their hair. Erwin sees how Levi kneels on the floor to give every child who approaches him a hug and a big smile, a smile so tender Erwin never thought he'd see.

They call it a day once the sun starts to settle and it’s a shame. Magath isn't on the drive back to the military premises, he’s probably sleeping in a high-end facility with amenities he would never be able to appreciate. 

It's a fun drive back for Erwin. He has so much energy that no one would believe him if he said he didn't get a wink of sleep the night before. There’s a smile on his face he can’t wipe off as he looks at the town outside the car's windows. This is the first time they are allowed outside Marley and no Eldian could ever hold such a privilege—Erwin going to Paradis was good riddance, hadn't he come back alive? Zeke palms his knee, smiling, and Erwin hesitates once again to believe whether that’s honest of him or not.

The Hizuruan soldiers on the premises are nice people, which is striking. They don't speak the same language but they still smile and nod politely, making Erwin feel more at home than he ever felt in HQ. Dinner is delicious, not as abundant as lunch but quite similar, rice, eggs, and a variety of vegetables. No forks. Zeke eats most of it with his hands, taking a laugh out of Erwin after every single bite. He has a lot of trouble with the chopsticks himself but another gentle soldier takes pity on him and tries to help him. Even despite their language barrier, Erwin finds more honesty and friendship in him than in Zeke. His smile is gentler, he’s patient with him when he drops the food and they laugh about it, trying to mime to each other, conveying ideas and feelings. It's all so new that by the time Erwin goes back to their little military hut all he wants to do is get back outside.

Zeke doesn't shower so Erwin makes use of all the hot water again. It's stupid to think that even the water is better here, but he is sure it tastes and smells differently, and it gets hotter too—but that must be related to the big heating system he saw in the main building. The soap and the shampoo are scented—something he never had access to before Tybur became interested in him.

“I think I'm ready to go to bed,” Zeke tells him once Erwin is out of the shower.

He's lounging on the sofa with a cigarette in his fingers. Erwin walks closer, holding the towel around his waist and extending his other hand, asking for a little smoke.

Zeke spares a look at him, not from head to toe because it stops right on Erwin's stomach, and lends his cigarette. “You got big,” he says.

Erwin frowns, dragging the cigarette. “You're no much taller than me,” he breathes out, sparing a look too.

“No, you son of a bitch. What did they feed you?”

“Oh, you know… internment zone specialties.”

“I suppose by that you mean rats.”

Erwin takes one last drag off Zeke's cigarette and hands it back. “Grilled,” he says, letting the smoke out his nose.

They chuckle softly, tired. They’ve run out of things to say somehow, even after having what was surely the most interesting day of their lives.

“Off to bed then,” Erwin says.

“Yeah, go grow taller motherfucker,” Zeke sneers.

In the morning, they sit down for breakfast and Erwin bites into the burnt toast, scrunching his nose and they both laugh.

“Come on, asshole,” Zeke blurts out. “You make it next time!”

“I should.”

Their fridge is filled with fruits and vegetables, some of which they don't even know the names of, but they are not used to having such a big breakfast so they kept it simple. They ruined it anyway; Zeke can't make toast, and Erwin can't brew tea.

“You refused to make tea,” Erwin says.

“I don't know how to make goddamn tea.”

“You've been living with Levi, I sure hope that’s still all he does.”

Zeke puffs air through his lips. “He never allowed me anywhere near him when he brewed tea.”

Erwin smiles, contemplative. “I asked him so many questions about it on our way to Marley.”

“About making tea?”

“Yes. He was such a perfectionist, I found it intriguing.”

“You had an Ackerman, probably the last known one on earth right in front of you…” Zeke points out, frowning, “and you asked him how he brews his tea.”

Erwin chuckles. “It wasn’t easy to engage with someone I had been lying to for days… only to get his friends killed.”

“Well…,” Zeke says, tilting his head. “Whatever you did for him worked, because he sure treasures you.”

Erwin shifts in his seat, uncomfortable with the comment. “He should hate me.”

“Yet he doesn't.”

“Does he have any friends?”

“Huh? Levi?”

“Isn’t that who we’re talking about?”

Zeke lets out a deep laugh. It’s odd not feeling as comfortable around Zeke as Erwin once did; if he thinks it through, Zeke just hasn't changed; he hasn't grown. And talking to him somehow means going backward. 

“Well, it’s a stupid question, don’t you think, Erwin?” Zeke asks. “Or did you really just talk about tea? He’s unfriendly. He’s pedantic . I’m lucky if he pays me a visit. And I sure ain’t begging,” he blurts out.

Erwin ponders on that, thinking maybe Levi also shows up in the middle of the night to visit Zeke and feels somewhat weird. It does make sense that Erwin wouldn't be his only target. Levi doesn't know many people and maybe life in the mansion gets boring for him. Maybe he’s too free to know what to do with it.

“I think…” Erwin says, gathering his thoughts, “he’s very different from you and me.”

Zeke gives him a dismissive look, reaching for the cigarette pack on the table. “What did you even say to him?”

“In what sense?”

“I mean…” he mumbles around his cigarette, lighting it. “What did you tell him to get him to cross the fucking ocean surrounded by enemies.”

Erwin lets out a deep sigh. “It's been so long, Zeke.”

“Fuck off.”

It really has. He doesn't want to say, he's not sure why Zeke feels so compelled to hear about that, as if it could change anything at this point. At any other time, Zeke would even insist he stopped talking about something that happened so long ago. Besides, the simple idea of remembering just how deceitful he was to Levi still haunts him. In a way, he's glad he was so young back then; he's sure he would be an even worse person to Levi, had Erwin been sent to Paradis nowadays.

“Levi has no choice, he never did,” Erwin decides to say. “I do not have to explain that to you, Zeke.”

He rolls his eyes. “You two sound so much like each other as if you spend more time together than it seems.”

“If there's something I learned on that ship, it’s that we are very different people.”

Zeke cocks a brow.  “And what about the mornings he visits you in the training field?”

“I cannot say what drives him to do that,” Erwin says, hearing Zeke’s intentions more clearly now. He won’t expand on it and he has nothing else to say. As nice as it is to see Levi, it only intensifies Erwin’s fear that he has taken him from his home and left him on his own in a brand new country. And Erwin being someone familiar to Levi has got to be one of the saddest conclusions.

“Well, it is pretty strange that he never talks about you,” Zeke points out. “He didn't mention you once in Valerica, you know? Not once… yet. Well, let's just say you were clearly on his mind.”

There's no way for Zeke to be hinting at the letters since Erwin didn't even receive them, but Zeke’s the type of guy who loves knowing things other people don't and feasts on it.

“There's no need for jealousy, Zeke,” Erwin quips.

Zeke huffs, flicking the cigarette over his teacup. “I have nothing to be jealous about, my friend.”

“I'm only joking.”

“Because you have no idea, do you?”

Erwin lets out a deep sigh, getting up. He truly has no idea what Zeke is trying to hint at now, but he couldn't care less about his little tantrums.

“I'm going to get ready. Big day ahead,” he says and walks away.

They are visiting a museum today in hopes of joining their countries, cultures, and history. Erwin is sure Magath couldn't care less, Marley couldn't care less. But that's what Lord Tybur is here for, he's good at politics in a way that Erwin finds inspiring; he knows when to smile and oblige just as much as he knows when to stand up for himself and his family. There's a reason they have survived all these years, the same reason they don't wear armbands. The same power that has allowed them to keep Levi in their family.

Levi who today wears a new set of clothing just as elegant as yesterday. A navy blue, light coat, decorated with intricate symbols, lovely bell sleeves on top of a long, flowy grey dress made with a rough fabric, draping loosely and gracefully on his body. It makes him stand out so much among all the Hizuruans yet he fits right in. Erwin’s never seen a man dressed like that which is most likely why he can’t keep his eyes away. How is this the same boy Erwin found flying across the dark caverns in that underground city?

The museum offers a lot of history lessons that Erwin gulps down like a starving man. He learns about all the lands Hizuru gave away to avoid war and slaughter; he learns about the many nations that have attempted to attack them and how the unfriendly mountains took care of most of them during the invasions. There are different armours displayed behind glass as well as katanas, throwing stars, and daggers. Levi asks questions about all of them with sparkling eyes and Erwin can only imagine the chaos he would cause.

The more they walk around the museum the more excited Erwin gets, it reminds him of being a free man in a library back in Paradis, something he thought nothing would surpass. He can't believe he's doing all of this as a grown-up and it makes him wonder what more there is to come. Greed overcomes him as he browses through some papers in languages he doesn't understand behind a glass. He has done the unthinkable. He was never expected to be back here after Paradis, he was never expected to bring an Ackerman with him. His officers have told him he would rot in Marley one too many times, they have told him his father would find his demise if he kept speaking out of terms. Yet here they are; here he is. When Marley decided to take Levi away from him again, Erwin went out of his way to make sure Lord Tybur knew the importance of the Hizuru family and how much they would help the Ackerman cause. Now, Erwin is reaping the rewards of his hard work.

Never before was he ever so sure that his dreams and desires would become a reality if he risked enough. People are just too scared to risk it. He's not. Levi isn't either and that's what he's counting on.

Out of the museum, people gather around Erwin as if he were as famous as Levi. They pull from his uniforms and armbands and touch his hair. Mrs Azumabito says they are impressed about seeing people as blond as him and Zeke; Erwin finds it endearing. Levi gives a personal hug to each and every one of the kids that raise their arms at him, making Erwin think back to that Underground school Levi used to visit. Maybe this is what he did back then too, maybe kids love him for being gentle and caring because they just don't understand how deadly Levi can be.

They visit the first floor of a restaurant next, all reserved and empty only for the Azumabito family. 

Erwin puts a hand on Levi's back this time, guiding him to a seat and kneeling right next to him; he doesn't know where this urge comes from but there’s nothing to lose. If he’s asked to move away, he will. If not, then he gets what he wants. It’s tiring only being able to see Levi some mornings in HQ, or whenever he decides to sneak into Erwin’s house at night—something that hasn't stopped happening no matter how much Erwin asked Levi to stop, something that might as well be related to Zeke saying Levi thinks about him too much.

The food is delicious as usual, only this time, it’s cooked right on top of the table and Mrs Azumabito takes care of it, delivering freshly cooked fish, eggs, and vegetables to every plate. The conversation is kept casual, about the weather and the day’s event, about Hizuru’s history and major families again and the specific time Ackermans started to leave the country, chased by those who said the family was filled with sin and witchcraft, at the moment all Eldians started being harassed for acting as devils.

“I'm sick of this story,” Levi mutters in Erwin’s direction.

“Your family’s history?”

Levi lets out a deep sigh through his nose. “I don't have a family, Erwin,” he says in a low voice only for Erwin to hear.

“I know,” Erwin offers because he does; Levi doesn’t want to hear it. “I think that… sometimes it helps us learn where we come from. That way, we know where to go.”

It takes a second for Levi to answer. “That makes no fucking sense.”

Erwin chuckles at that, and finding Zeke’s gaze on him only makes him smile wider. “What I mean is…” he says, trying to keep their conversation private. “Ackermans fought their whole life for others, never for themselves. Eldians used their powers recklessly, driven by greed, and found their demise.”

“Yeah, so?”

“So what are you going to do?” Erwin asks. “Are you going to keep making the same mistakes your bloodline made, or will you make things different?”

Levi doesn't get to answer because Lord Tybur immediately calls for him, asking banal questions about his clothes, his favourite places in Hizuru, and if he would like to move and live here. Erwin doesn't pick up the conversation again anyway, letting Levi have some time to think about it. Instead, he just enjoys his company, his little side-eyes, or the way he elbows Erwin whenever Lord Tybur says a blatant lie.

Levi shouldn't trust him. Erwin’s not to be trusted, and he’s been mean enough to him, but the truth is that having Levi by his side only makes his chances of succeeding better.

The discussion on ODM begins soon after the meal is over. They remain in the restaurant but move to a different table. Hizuru weapon engineers are here too, examining the gear and listening to every word Mrs. Azumabito translates from Levi’s experience. He starts from where he stole his gear and says he can clearly tell this is not his, that it is Mike’s. Apparently, there’s a serial number in every apparatus which helps soldiers learn the amount of use they put into it. This information comes in handy for maintenance and Levi was observant enough to notice these little details. He then goes on to explain the purpose of the gas and the reel, the best way to approach its use, and why it was effortless for him to get the hang of it. The smaller you are, the easier it is to propel into the air; that and the addition of acrobatics movements will make anyone with an ODM gear go around easily with little to no training. He says all of this as if it were simple, too, he talks about somersaulting, doing cartwheels and jumping in every direction. He mentions using the wall just as one would normally use the floor, and using the floor as a slipping slide. Levi explains how he’s been able to put this into action on the battlefield, which is what everyone wants to hear since nobody is fighting titans on this side of the ocean. So he goes on about how he grapples on the Beast titan to propel himself and reach bases quicker than anybody, how he’s fast enough to dodge bullets and slice heads off.

The engineers apparently already know what to do with this gear after taking notes from everything Levi says and asking further questions. They intend to make it smaller and quicker, with high-quality materials that would also allow a higher fibre to be rolled into it. This would reduce the chances of it cutting mid-air and ensure a steady flight. These changes, on top of the use of a new fuel instead of gas, would prove the ODM to be a newly high-technology gear for war. 

The conversations go on for more hours over an incredible amount of tea, so much so that Erwin finds himself stepping out to visit the restroom several times. Unfortunately for soldiers like him and Zeke, everything is over once they leave the restaurant and they are driven back to their military premises for dinner. Days are not long enough and Erwin would like to do so much more, make better use of their time, of the questions he can make, of the things he can learn. Tomorrow is their last day in this country and Erwin doesn’t think even a week would be enough, especially not now that he feels as though he might just travel across the world one day too, with Levi by his side if he's lucky.

“Leaving the premises is forbidden,” Magath says tonight before they are dropped off. “Don’t think that just because people here seem polite they won’t rat you out,” he insists. “Do you hear me?”

“Yes, sir,” Erwin and Zeke answer in unison.

There’s no need for the general to be so explicit about this, which only raises more suspicion between them. They have dinner in silence and engage as little as possible with other soldiers, thinking maybe that’s the reason they are being scolded, and get back to their private military hut. 

“Do you think we’re being detained any time soon?” Zeke mutters around his cigarette.

“Interrogation most likely,” Erwin says, taking his clothes off and getting ready for a shower. “Considering we’ve engaged with another culture. They must be afraid.”

“I don’t believe they can detain you under Hizuru’s laws,” Zeke says, sparing a look.

“Hizuru wouldn’t risk it for a couple of Eldians.”

Zeke nods, giving Erwin a few pats in the back. “We’ll have to see, then,” he says, and walks away, leaving Erwin to his nightly shower.

Two weeks ago - Erwin’s home

Erwin gets out of his short shower quickly because the water isn't hot enough and he's feeling chilly. The smell of his new scented shampoo and soap still feel weird to him but he’s sure he'll get used to it in due time. Besides, he wants to make sure Lord Tybur knows Erwin uses and appreciates his gifts; he's the kind of man that might show up inadvertently at any given moment.

His stomach rumbles a bit. Dinner was not enough tonight for some reason, he ate a lot in the HQ diner before coming home too but it's never enough food for him. He's picked up a very heavy training schedule again now that he's allowed and there are just not enough things to eat in the house other than bread and fruit. He dresses up, shivering hard under the cold air of his bathroom that his nipples are rock hard. He puts a dry towel around his head too to avoid getting sick on the short walk to his bedroom and as soon as he steps in, he lets out a deep sigh and closes the door.

“Levi,” he says. He can't see him but he's here. The window is open and the air smells like him. “Has anyone seen you?”

His shadow emerges from behind the bookcase. “I've done this my whole life, no one has seen me.”

“But your driver brought you here,” Erwin points out, walking past him to shut the window. “He's waiting for you somewhere.”

Levi only shrugs.

“Levi,” Erwin says, turning around. “You don't understand, they can always see you. They are always watching. Do you understand that you're putting me at risk too?”

“Of what?” Levi asks, stepping closer. He’s always dressed in fancy clothes so Erwin can’t tell where he’s coming from anymore. “Are you scared they might think we fuck? Is that why you steer clear of me? You're afraid they will tell your old man his son’s a fag?”

The questions are so out of context that Erwin frowns. The words are hard, dismissive; he’s been spending too much time with Zeke.

“Levi, be serious,” Erwin says. “Everything you do that concerns me they will find suspicious. They have bigger concerns than that. If they think we're plotting against them, it will be the end of everything we know. Everything you’ve endured will be for nothing.”

Levi clicks his tongue, shifting on his other foot. He’s not going to leave so Erwin’s not sure why they are having this conversation at all but somehow it feels as though if he doesn't make himself clear, then Levi might just take bigger and bigger unnecessary risks.

“I… Enjoy your visits more than I could explain but this is dangerous,” Erwin says. “The government might not care what we do but they surely won’t like knowing we meet in secret. If it's a secret then it becomes their business, and nothing will stop them from getting their hands in it.”

“You promised freedom and you brought me here,” Levi says.

“I know,” Erwin answers, letting out a deep sigh. He knows and it hurts. “I lied,” he says. “It was necessary. I will always be sorry for that.”

“You used me.”

Erwin nods. “I did.”

“You told me who the real enemy is.”

“We are,” Erwin says.

“So indulge me with some tea, will you?” Levi asks, tilting his head.

There’s no way to know how Levi has enough time for tea, but fighting him has proven nothing, and he’s clearly not leaving tonight. It's never easy, no matter how hard Erwin tries, so he moves away and invites Levi down the stairs.

“Dad, we have a visitor.”

His father already turns around with a smile on his face, standing up from his chair and greeting Levi with a handshake.

“Good evening, Levi.”

“Evening, sir.”

“Please have a seat,” his dad offers as Erwin puts some water to heat and leans over the counter. “Are you ever considering using the door?”

“I'm good at climbing shit,” Levi tells him, and both Erwin and his father chuckle at that.

“Hizuru is right around the corner. Are you excited to travel there?”

Levi shrugs. “I don’t see anything special about it.”

“Travelling to a new country is always a thrilling experience,” Erwin’s father points out.

“I’ve travelled to many countries already and all I do is kill people. Not so different from what I did back in Paradis.”

“Ah, yes.” Erwin’s father nods. “The life of the soldier isn't particularly one that will allow you to enjoy the scenery. But Hizuru holds so much history!” he says, looking in Erwin’s direction. “I cannot wait to hear all the stories you bring from those lands.”

“I hope I have time to write,” Erwin says.

“You write a lot too, Mr Smith?” Levi asks.

“Oh, um…” his father thinks about it, casually scratching his neck. “Not as much as I used to, I suppose. I've been more interested in helping our town farmer's group.”

“What do you farm?”

Erwin looks down at the floor, trying to hide his smile, amused at how much Levi entertains his father.

“Any seasonal fruit,” he tells Levi. “We try to make use of it as much as we can before they take it away. We give most of it to the guards at the gates to make sure it's safe.”

“You bribe them,” Levi points out.

Erwin's father chuckles. “Yes.”

“Mhm.”

Erwin invites Levi to handle the tea just to make sure it's done as he likes. He couldn't live knowing Levi would have ugly tea the one time Erwin let him stay for a few more minutes. He knows Levi must drink higher-quality tea anyway but at least he doesn't complain about it.

They talk about Levi's tasks at HQ and what it's like to live in a mansion but only for so little until Levi starts showing interest in Erwin as a kid. His father decides to fetch their small photo album to embarrass him further, calling him Little Bean and sharing all the details of how Erwin used to undress after kindergarten and just run naked around the streets, waving at their neighbours and not letting himself get caught. The story makes Levi smile quite a lot which might be the most Erwin has seen of him, so at least there's a positive side to sharing such a private childhood story. They also tell Levi how Erwin would read the same book over and over again so that he could read it to perfection and get his father to congratulate him.

After a second round of tea goes by it's already too late. Levi's been here for almost two hours and Erwin's father recommends he leaves. 

“You don't barge into someone's place and leave through the door,” Levi says, inviting himself up the stairs.

It's hard to say goodbye. Erwin remembers having Zeke for sleepovers when they were kids. He can't invite Levi to do such a thing, he doesn't even know how Levi manages to get here in the first place; Lord Tybur surely knows about these little visits.

“Thank you for coming, Levi,” Erwin says. He shouldn't say it, he shouldn't indulge in this behaviour.

“You used to have a big ass head,” is the response he gets.

“What?” Erwin asks, chuckling.

“You did.”

“Okay,” Erwin answers. “I don't anymore?”

“Dunno, you got bigger everywhere else,” Levi says, stepping closer. “Maybe it evens out.”

“Levi,” Erwin says, huffing a laugh. 

Levi always does this, he steps too close, almost as if he's not aware of other people's personal spaces. Erwin’s not sure why the closeness makes him feel so uncomfortable, he doesn’t think this usually happens to him but it’s just that he doesn’t know where to look when Levi’s gaze feels like fire; it penetrates Erwin’s skull and he just can’t take it. 

He takes a step back. “I'll see you tomorrow at HQ.”

“Yeah, okay,” Levi answers, turning around and opening the window to jump outside.

Now

A knock on the door wakes Erwin up. His heart beats rapidly inside his chest, making him feel out of breath. It cannot be the police; they wouldn't show up at these hours to just knock. If Marley’s secret police were here to take someone with them, they would’ve rammed into the place, no questions asked. 

Erwin gets up in one jump and walks out the door, only to find the knocking comes from across the room. The kitchen is dark and the curtains are down, Erwin can't see a thing and Zeke's bedroom door is ajar, letting out a dim beam of light.

There's knocking again and voices too, calling Erwin's curiosity so he slowly creeps across the room trying to catch a glimpse. He's not surprised to think someone else is in the house since Zeke's always been known for bringing girls into the dorms, but Erwin would've expected him to be more careful after everything Magath said. Hence, Erwin tries to catch a glimpse. He wonders if it's a Hizuruan soldier on duty or a random girl, whoever it is, it seems like she's riding him. And she's having a nice time.

“Fuck,” Zeke groans hoarsely.

Erwin peeks through the door without being able to hold his smile, thinking he might even knock and tell him to keep it down just to mess with him. But then everything falls apart. His head feels numb and his chest empty, his palms shaking. He finds Levi. Even in the dark, even at the distance, it’s undeniably him. Erwin would recognize him anywhere. He's the one riding Zeke. He's right on top, grinding his hips and leaning forward. The realisation makes Erwin's breath hitch, he feels a sudden knot in his stomach. He takes another step to get a better look but he's not going to knock, he's not going to barge, he can't find the courage to do it because this doesn't seem fun anymore.

“Keep your hands away,” Levi says, his hands wrapped around Zeke's neck. His pitch-black hair covers all of his face, the muscles on his thighs stick out as he moves his hips.

Zeke's hands remain on the bed, obeying, he's gripping the mattress and just clenches his teeth as Levi chokes him.

“Please.” Zeke's voice comes out raspy.

“You can't even last five fucking minutes,” Levi hisses, scratching the skin hard enough to let steam curl into the air.

Zeke's grip on the mattress is tighter now. “Shit,” he croaks.

Erwin doesn't understand why he's still watching, it's too intimate and too risky. Knowing they are dating could endanger all of them. Men have been discharged from the military for a lot less, yet he can't help staring at Levi's body and how he moves. It's so hard to tell if seeing his friends like this is making him feel uncomfortable or intrigued.

As Levi speeds up, his body moves in ways that feel hypnotising, ways Erwin's never seen before. He just can't look away, taking a hand to his crotch and finding he's uncomfortably hard. He squeezes his pants, feeling ashamed; he closes his mouth and swallows, he should leave and he should be quiet about it.

“Shit,” Levi finally breathes out, moving slightly away. 

His hips draw Erwin’s attention, the way they curve, the bones on his waist, the muscles on his back. 

“Fuck your fist,” Levi orders.

“Ah—gimme a kiss, come on,” Zeke pleads, hissing as Levi holds his face strongly. 

“I'm not kissing that ugly beard, you piece of shit.”

“Ungh, ah—I want- Let me taste you, Levi—fuck.”

Levi clicks his tongue, getting closer. “Open up,” he orders, visibly building saliva and then slowly letting it drip from his mouth into Zeke's.

Erwin stands hesitant, observing every second of it in slow motion. The steady fluid that Levi offers, the way Zeke sticks his tongue out, accepting it entirely, how he swallows it with a groan. 

It’s more than enough for Erwin, he realises, snapping out of it. He's seen it all, and he walks away confident that Zeke is moaning loud enough that none of them will listen to his steps.

Chapter Text

Erwin has a hard time getting some sleep. As soon as he lies down, his cock and balls hurt; he is too hard, more than he ever thought he could get. He presses his erection against the mattress trying to get rid of the pain, but it seems impossible. The image of Levi in the nude has imprinted itself in his brain: every sound he made, the way his saliva dripped out of his mouth, the way Zeke swallowed it whole. 

The sudden sound of the bathroom door startles him; someone has started to let the water run. He listens to Levi’s voice asking for a clean towel, insulting Zeke for not showering, telling him to fuck off. The shower is st and then silence overcomes the little hut. Erwin can hear the cicadas, the dripping faucet, then his door opening. He pretends to be asleep, eyes closed. He can feel it’s Levi on the other side, probably making sure he’s asleep. He clearly sneaks into everyone’s places at night, not just Erwin’s. After all the harmful situations Levi was put through because of him, there’s no reason for him to be special.

By morning, he wakes up without the memory of falling asleep at all; there’s a big stain in his underwear but he’s not hard anymore. He’s sure he didn't touch himself despite knowing that it would help him fall asleep, but it didn't feel right after finding his friends like that, not with Levi in his head. Then he starts spiralling, thinking about Levi’s questions about homosexuality and how he talked about it with Zeke. Erwin can only infer they have been dating for years, probably since they started training together, that’s what Levi was talking about. The whole ordeal makes him think about the times Zeke and Levi were at war and shared a home, the fact that Zeke mentioned Levi had scars all over his body, how Erwin barged into Zeke’s office that morning to find Levi in there too.

Erwin needs a shower and a change of clothes; a change of mindset too, probably. He needs to get back to what’s important. They are heading back to Marley today and everything needs to keep working as it normally does. He needs to act like he doesn't know a thing; this could endanger all of them. So he takes a towel and walks out.

Levi’s sitting by the kitchen table, holding a cup of tea and all by himself.

“Levi—you're still—” Erwin stutters, halfway leaving his bedroom. Levi is not impressed; he just looks at him. “What are you doing here?” Erwin finally asks.

“I was invited.”

Levi’s as good as Zeke at lying at this point, and the prospect of it makes Erwin’s stomach churn. He walks to the bathroom and showers, using all of the hot water for himself; if Zeke wants to shower he will have to wait for later, maybe he should’ve done it the previous night. Erwin’s cock is far from hard because everything he feels now is stress. Stress and anger somehow, bewilderment maybe. He cannot pinpoint it but at least this won’t last long. Once he’s back in Marley he can get back to work, to what he’s supposed to put his attention into. This is not an important matter; Levi’s still here ready to fight when he needs to, Zeke is still his friend—rather his childhood acquaintance. This doesn’t change things because this has always been there, Erwin just wasn’t aware—too innocent, too oblivious. He needs to get it together.

Erwin stays in his bedroom more than he usually would, sitting with his pants halfway up, looking at nothing, thinking of nothing. He clearly didn't sleep at all, even if it’s not common for him to sleep much since writing or reading keeps him up, sometimes it’s just him thinking ahead. But he doesn't usually wake up this tired despite it all.

“Erwin,” Levi says, knocking on the door. “Are you having breakfast or not?”

“Yeh—” Erwin clears his throat. “Yes.”

“Get the fuck over here, then.”

Erwin lets out a deep sigh, gets up and finishes putting his pants on. “On my way,” he mutters, blinking heavily. Orders he can still follow.

He makes himself presentable before walking out the door, putting on a pair of socks and shoes as well as a shirt, but he doesn't fix his hair; he doesn't normally do that when he’s at home anyway, though he feels he should right now for some reason. Levi’s alone in the kitchen again, pouring tea into two cups. There’s a variety of fruits cut in pieces on different plates and a bowl of grapes; he must’ve used everything there is in the fridge. Zeke isn’t here and it makes Erwin feel relieved, but there are not many places to go in this little hut which only means he’s in his bedroom.

“You didn't use to sleep this much,” Levi says, sitting down. He’s as well-dressed and presentable as ever, almost as if he didn’t spend the night here but instead just dropped by this morning.

“I… wasn’t asleep,” Erwin answers, still standing by the bedroom door.

“Then why didn't you come out?”

“I… don’t know.” It was easier to talk to him yesterday, but not anymore. Erwin sits down and looks at all the food in front of him without the slightest appetite.

“Eat,” Levi orders.

“I’m not… hungry,” Erwin says, brushing his hair back. He should’ve fixed it, he feels uncomfortable. “Thank you.”

“Tch, eat your breakfast,” Levi insists, pushing the bowl of grapes towards Erwin.

“I would normally have… just toast.”

Levi scoffs. “Bread is no good for you, eat your fruit.”

“Levi—”

“Eat your damn fruit, Erwin,” he orders but he doesn’t raise his voice. “You forced me to have breakfast on that stupid ship, now I'm forcing it on you too.”

“I—” Erwin looks down, huffing a laugh at the warm memory. He always thinks about those times, but Levi’s not the same boy anymore—he's not a boy anymore. Erwin takes a grape into his mouth and only then does Levi resume his breakfast.

They have their tea and fruit in silence. It seems like a too-calm morning considering those are rare in Marley HQ, but these Hizuruan huts provide a very different atmosphere. They are mostly surrounded by trees and apart from each other. The training fields are far from this area too and Erwin’s heard soldiers here are very diligent and tidy; there’s no need for officers to come at them shouting down orders to wake up, clean their dorms, and head for training. Everyone respects the schedule without hesitation.

“It's nice here,” Levi says, breaking the ice.

“Here?”

“Hizuru.”

Erwin nods, having a hard time engaging despite how much he wants to tell Levi that the tea is delicious.

“Your father was right,” Levi says.

Erwin clears his throat, uncomfortable at the idea that Zeke might be listening in from his room. “Are you staying?”

“Alexander said we'd get back to Marley soon, he didn't say when.”

“I doubt you’ll leave without visiting historical places,” Erwin points out; the subject is easy to follow when it doesn’t feel so personal.

“What are those?” Levi asks.

“The national park, for one, is filled with native trees that are rare elsewhere on the continent,” Erwin explains. “There’s Mount Toori too, you will surely find it impressive, bigger than Paradis' walls. The thermal waters have always drawn my attention.”

Levi leaves his cup down, leaning against the table. “How come?” he asks.

“The water is naturally hot,” Erwin answers and Levi’s face suddenly reminds him of Isabel so much. And Isabel reminds him of everything he made Levi lose to get him here.

“The water?”

“Yes,” Erwin says, looking at his teacup. “Natural pools of hot water.”

“Is that possible?”

“Yes, there is… um.” Erwin sits straight, frowning. He doesn't think he needs to explain things to Levi like he’s a kid anymore. “Water from underneath comes up hot, basically.”

“Because of lava?”

Erwin smiles proudly. “Precisely, yes.”

“Yeah,” Levi says, going for his tea again. “They taught us about mountains before coming here,” he explains but he doesn't look proud or full of himself, he’s not trying to prove anything. 

“Did you enjoy it?” Erwin asks.

Levi shrugs. “Alex insists I take classes with William and Lara.”

“That's good.”

“They taught us about the planets and stars too,” Levi says.

He's so interesting and talkative; sharing little things about his life. Erwin used to force them out of him just to understand what his childhood was like, putting pressure on him to talk about his mother, his father. He’s always been so selfish with Levi. Here in Hizuru, he looks free. It was probably the Underground keeping him grim, it is probably Marley forcing him to remain stoic. Erwin should squeeze every moment of it but he doesn’t deserve any of it. And Levi has probably chosen Zeke to be the one to know him the better.

“I wanted to ask about that place you mentioned, but I didn't remember the name,” Levi says.

“What place?”

“We were on the Paradis coast and you were talking about the skies, you talked about places far away, places so big we could see from here—”

“A galaxy,” Erwin offers. “Andromeda.”

Levi nods. “Andromeda,” he echoes. “I dream about it sometimes.”

Erwin frowns at the choice of words. “Have you ever been there?” he quips but Levi doesn’t find it funny.

“Maybe I have,” he answers instead, shrugging. 

“Maybe so—Do you… are you and Zeke a thing?” Erwin asks before he can help himself.

“What thing?”

“A... Couple, I mean. You are dating.”

“We're not,” Levi says.

Erwin sips his tea, wondering if Levi lies because he doesn't know how loud they were last night or because he’s embarrassed.

“We're just fucking,” he adds.

Erwin spits his tea and coughs. Some of it went through the wrong pipe and he has trouble breathing.

“You okay?” Levi asks.

Erwin nods, coughing, swallowing, breathing. He shouldn't have asked.

There's a knock on the door that startles them. Erwin looks at Levi, thinking his being here will get them in trouble. Maybe someone’s here to retrieve him even.

“Open up!” a voice shouts behind the door and Erwin quickly obliges.

It's Officer Porter, who immediately invites himself into the hut with four other officers.

“Good morning, sir,” Erwin says.

“Where's Yeager?” He steps into the middle of the room and looks around.

“In his bedroom,” Erwin answers.

“A little late to be sleeping, don't you think?” Porter asks.

“I agree, sir.”

“Two in each room, get Yeager out here,” Porter orders, and the officers follow suit.

“What the fuck?” Levi asks but he’s clearly not used to this.

Erwin has learnt not to show any surprise or opposition to what the police decide to do in his home, because it's never his to begin with.

“Would you like some tea, officer?” Erwin offers instead, walking back to the table.

“No, I'm sick and tired of tea. Sit down, Smith,” he says. “I want good Marleyan coffee. I can't wait to get out of this place.”

“Wow, wow,” Zeke grouses, tumbling as he's pushed outside his room in just his underwear and a sheet wrapped around his body. “I'm up, I’m up. Officer Porter.” He salutes before sitting by the table and then winks at Levi but gets nothing in return.

“Is this shit normal to you?”

“Be quiet, Ackerman. Lord Tybur might allow you to do as you please, but you still owe your superiors respect,” Porter says above the mess the soldiers are making in their bedrooms. 

Erwin can see them flipping the pages from his books, turning the mattress upside down, checking inside the pillowcases. This is awfully familiar to him; he's had this happen to all his bedrooms in HQ several times. They barged into his home too only to leave a mess while his father thanked the officers for their visit after inviting them for some coffee. No one is safe and Erwin has learned not to have anything suspicious on him, not inside his home at least.

“You are to remain inside of the premises until your flight back to Marley,” Porter explains.

“Officer if I may,” Zeke says. “We will happily stay here as all we do is for the sake of our motherland, but what are we supposed to eat?”

Porter frowns, staring at the kitchen right behind Zeke.

“Our fridge is empty,” Zeke explains. “Are we allowed to visit the communal cafeteria?”

Porter nods, curtly. “You are allowed to move within the premises.”

“It's clear, sir,” the soldiers say, leaving Zeke’s room. 

The soldiers that leave from Erwin’s bedroom are ordered to check them now, patting Erwin down and letting Porter know they are clear. Erwin tries to keep his cool as his mind races, not only trying to figure out what has brought this situation up but also how it is possible Tybur isn't looking for Levi. Unless he knows this is the only possible place Levi would go and decides to vouch for him, to avoid looking like a fool because of how easily Levi slips from his fingers.

“Very well,” Porter says. “Tidy up around here,” he orders. “We will be back later to pick you up.”

“Motherfuckers,” Levi mutters as soon as the door closes. He gets up to put the couch back in place.

“Levi, you should go back home,” Erwin says.

“Fuck off.”

“Leave him be,” Zeke says, letting out a deep groan as he gets up.

“What do you think happened?” Erwin asks.

“Beats me,” Zeke answers, heading back to his bedroom.

Erwin gets up to walk behind him. “A random checkup? In Hizuru?”

“We’re still Eldians,” Zeke says, taking his underwear off. “No matter where we are.” He takes a towel from his dresser and walks back outside, grazing Erwin’s frame by the threshold.

Erwin tries to avoid staring at his ass, looking elsewhere. Zeke looks all grown up too, considering they've always seen each other naked in their shared room and communal showers. The image totally shutters as Erwin remembers he was just as naked last night while Levi was on top of him. He grumbles and swallows audibly.

“You alright?” Levi asks.

Erwin nods, avoiding his sight. If something like this had happened years ago, Zeke would not stop making up hypotheses on the spot, telling Erwin everything he thinks. His silence and disinterest only prove to Erwin that both of them moved on from the friendship they once had, and everything Zeke talked about that night before the flight was only hiding so much more.

“Help me with this, will you?” Levi asks, putting the furniture back in its place.

Tidying up helps Erwin think about whether this was a regular checkup or if there was something underneath. Porter seemed at ease but he surely knew more than he was willing to show, and the soldiers that messed up the hut did not seem to be looking for something in particular. If anything, it all looked like they were just imposing themselves so that Eldians wouldn’t forget their place. 

Once they are done with Erwin's bedroom, Levi decides to sit on the bed and open one of Erwin's books.

“Where did you get this?” He asks.

“The… common library here on the premises,” Erwin answers.

Levi tilts his head, frowning and flipping the pages. “There's a library,” he says.

“Yes, I was surprised too,” Erwin explains. “I was hoping to take another one as well but… I won't have the time.”

“What's it about?”

“It's a… love story,” he answers. He's embarrassed and the book is so much more than just that but he's not able to explain himself for some reason. Levi always made fun of him for reading and writing and now he’s on Erwin’s bed, holding a book and asking about it.

“Who's she in love with?” Levi asks, pointing at the girl on the cover.

“It's just… about trust, I suppose,” Erwin says, moving things around in his bag, but there’s not much else to tidy up now; he just doesn’t know what to do with himself. “The translation is very good, I don’t usually read fiction… I only did once before… in Paradis, in fact.”

“But it's a love story?”

“Yes,” Erwin answers, clearing his throat. “Trust is… love, I suppose is what I gather from this. From both of those stories now that I think about it,” he says, standing up.

“How come?”

“Someone who… loves you will not betray you,” Erwin manages, huffing a laugh after being exposed to Levi shooting questions at him twice this morning. “And you can trust they won't.”

Levi hums, flipping the pages. “Yeah, like Farlan and Isabel.”

“Yes.” Erwin smiles. He enjoys noticing that Levi's so smart, so emotionally apt. He sees beyond the basic understanding of love regarding relationships and marriage. He loved his friends, his family. Erwin can't say he ever loved anyone other than his father.

“Is he bothering you?” Zeke asks, leaning half-naked over the door frame, wearing only his slacks.

“No,” Levi and Erwin answer in unison.

“I was talking to Levi,” Zeke says, walking to the kitchen. “Stop being so boring, let's play some cards.” 

Erwin walks behind him, watching Zeke get into the opposite room.  “We could get ready, there’s a lot to do once we get back tonight,” he suggests.

“Make tea for me, Levi, will you?” Zeke shouts as he dresses up. “You’re so confident you will be part of this project again,” he tells Erwin.

“I will be Levi’s marksman trainer,” Erwin reminds Zeke, winning an impassive look from him.

Levi holds Erwin's arm, pulling it and asking to clear the table while he takes care of the tea. Erwin isn't used to Levi casually touching him like this. Maybe when he hugged him in his bedroom, asking to be held.

“It's—” Erwin clears his throat. “It's clear they expect more from me.” He can still feel Levi's hand on his forearm even though they are not touching anymore.

“Good, that’s solved then,” Zeke says, walking out and sitting by the table.

Erwin sits in front of him. “Hizuru is only the beginning,” he insists. He wants Zeke to talk, he wants to force something out of him even if it's more lies. He can’t expect to get away with this farce.

“It might,” Zeke concedes, munching on some fruit.

“If Mrs Azumabito accepts the deal and upgrades the gear, the warfare advantage on the country would be favourable for both nations,” Erwin says, darting his eyes to Levi's back by the counter and his slim waist. “It's…” He brushes his face, he's not doing so well with so little sleep on him, it shouldn’t be so hard for him to keep focus. “It's important we prepare for what’s to come.”

“Ok,” Zeke says. shrugging and taking a cigarette pack and a lighter out of his pocket. He's leaving Erwin hanging purposely and shamelessly at this point. Zeke’s already achieved his objective of being here with Levi in front of Erwin and has nothing else to make up for.

“You're disgusting, smoking so early,” Levi chides, pouring tea into their cups.

“Thank you, darling,” Zeke says, breathing smoke out his nose. He must be so proud Erwin can read into this situation. He must've wanted Erwin to know he's been in a relationship with Levi Ackerman for so long. And Erwin despises him for it. Not because he's kept it a secret, not because this is Levi either. Erwin doesn't want what Zeke has, he just doesn't like that Zeke considers Levi an object he can possess.

“Marley might focus their next attack on the nation of Vermin before we even settle for Paradis,” Erwin points out. “But it’s clear Hizuru has other plans.”

“They wouldn’t be interested in ODM gear otherwise,” Levi says.

“And it's a risky exchange,” Erwin says. “They know how Marley does business.”

“You think they will act despite it?”

“Not you too, Levi,” Zeke breathes out. “Don't humour him.”

“I don't trust that Kiyomi woman,” Levi says, crossing his arms.

“You trust nobody,” Zeke says.

“I do,” Levi answers.

Zeke scoffs. “Magath will have a lot to say once we get back, especially if Levi stays in Hizuru for an extra couple of days. Whatever he has to say, it will be in a private debrief and he will not want you there,” he says, pointing his cigarette at Erwin.

He can't argue with that, but there's just so much going on that his mind is up and running as well as jumbled up. They are in another country. Erwin's ideas are back on the table, people are listening to what he has to say. Levi's here. After all these years he's here, they had breakfast together, he was in Erwin's room asking questions about books and the stars. He was here last night riding Zeke to pleasure too. It's too overwhelming. So Erwin concedes, if only to keep the atmosphere in the hut calm while his mind will keep running wild.

Zeke proposes they play cards again but Levi insists he should tidy up his bedroom first because he can't stand knowing the mess that's in there. He can't stand the dust on the furniture either so in the end, they spend the next hour cleaning every corner of the house. Erwin puts a vinyl record in the gramophone which helps a lot to keep his thoughts at ease. Besides, he gets to see Levi swaying his body to the beat as he sweeps the floor; he will never forget what a great dancer Levi is and what a joy it is to watch him. Zeke sings along to the only song he knows and tries to dance as well but Levi pushes him aside. By the time they are done, Levi offers to make lunch. He asks Erwin for help and personally rolls his sleeves so that they don't get wet. His hand gently holds Erwin's arms as he does, grazing his skin, as close as he always gets, and then palms Erwin's chest before asking him to wash the vegetables.

After lunch, they play cards just as Zeke wanted and Erwin insists they place real bets on it because he doesn't find any purpose otherwise.

Zeke rolls his eyes. “We don't have any money here, Erwin. What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“We have money back home, we could still place bets.”

“I don't have any money,” Levi says.

“So we can't bet shit, there you go,” Zeke offers, smirking.

“We could still place bets. We all have something to lose,” Erwin insists.

“Are you saying what I think you're saying?” Zeke asks.

“What?” Erwin frowns, suspicious of Zeke's intentions.

“You want us to strip.”

Erwin chortles. “No!” He exclaims. It's not funny, it's embarrassing and Levi's frowning at him. That's why he's laughing. Zeke always manages to take him by surprise.

“You do!” Zeke exclaims, grinning. “You want us to bet on pieces of clothes.”

“I swear that is not what I'm talking about.” Erwin feels his face on fire and shakes his head, looking away, anywhere else but around him.

“How then?”

“Anything! Chores for example.”

Zeke scoffs. “That's so boring.”

“Because you do not want to do chores,” Erwin says, looking back at him. “If the items at risk hurt, then it's a good bet,” he explains and then looks at Levi. “But in such a case Levi would never lose.”

Levi frowns. “I don't want to do your fucking chores.”

“The house is clean anyway,” Zeke says.

“Tch. It's not.”

“Okay,” Erwin says. “Personal objects then.”

“Fine, I bet my shirt,” Zeke says.

“I'm not playing with you half-naked and smoking,” Levi says, sitting back straight. It's interesting to see him engaging in such a childish idea.

“Don't worry, honey,” Zeke answers. “I won't lose,” he says and Levi kicks him under the table, making Zeke flinch and curse.

“That's it,” Erwin says. “If you lose, you don't smoke.”

“Fuck off!” Zeke exclaims, rubbing his leg.

“I'll take it,” Levi says.

“Fine, then you can't clean or tidy up anything else in here. Not even a crumb off the table.”

“You're disgusting.”

“Sounds fair,” Erwin offers. 

“You don't get to talk,” Levi tells him. “If you lose you shut the fuck up.”

“What? Me?” Erwin asks as Zeke laughs.

“I think we have it,” Zeke breathes out, dealing the cards. “Best of five, loser pays with… well… not doing what the rest hates I guess.”

“You can't do it while we play either,” Levi says. “The winner gets to enjoy winning their rights back.”

“So I can't talk at all?” Erwin asks.

“You can't,” Levi tells him.

“You're doomed, Smith,” Zeke sneers.

The first round goes by in silence, except for Zeke's fingers tapping the table; he surely needs to smoke right now. 

Levi clicks his tongue as soon as he's dealt his hand and Zeke brags, telling them how easily he will win. Unfortunately for Erwin, he has awful luck this time and it truly is Zeke who wins this round. 

Levi deals the card next and clicks his tongue again once he looks at his cards. He also keeps darting his eyes to the sink, probably eager to wash his hands, knowing he won't be able to do that any time soon. Erwin wins that one.

“Why don't you brew some tea?” Zeke asks.

“No fucking way,” Levi answers. “You're gonna make a mess and I won't be able to clean it up.”

Erwin smiles while shuffling the deck. He struggles to enjoy Levi's little quirks and hates how his dynamics with Zeke have evolved. They are so intimate it makes Erwin uncomfortable. Once he deals the cards, Levi clicks his tongue yet again when he looks at his hand.

“Are you serious right now, Levi?” Erwin asks. He knows he shouldn't speak but at this point, he doesn't care if it means he will lose. This is just too funny.

“What?” Levi asks.

“Yeah, he is,” Zeke says.

“What?”

“You keep doing that with your mouth whenever you get a bad hand,” Erwin tells him.

“No, I don't.”

“Yeah, you do,” Zeke tells him. 

“Fuck,” Levi mutters. “You're not supposed to fucking talk anyway,” he tells Erwin.

“Ok, you can keep losing then.”

“Fuck you—”

There's a heavy knock on the door, darting everyone's eyes in that direction.

“Back already?” Zeke asks.

“Maybe they are picking Levi up,” Erwin says on his way to the door.

Officer Porter is there, standing straight, looking just like he did a few hours ago. Erwin thinks how stupid it'd be if he had just been standing like that this whole time waiting to knock again just to startle them.

“If you excuse me,” he says, walking in. Maybe he forgot how to be polite last time. Military Marley men are ridiculous that way. They play so many different parts in a day, it's weird to think they don't care how silly they look.

Two other soldiers walk behind him and they stand next to Erwin.

“Have a seat,” Porter orders. “We hope your stay is favourable here. An aircraft will leave for Marley tonight at twenty hundred. For now, please Yeager, get your uniform ready. You will be following us to Hizuru's testing facilities.”

“Is there something I can help with?” Erwin asks.

“We need Yeager's technical knowledge to help the new gear engineers.”

“Alright, I'll be here in a minute,” Zeke says, walking to his bedroom.

“The new ODM endurance will be outstanding when iceburst stone is included in the engineering,” Erwin says, trying to get something else out of Porter. 

This will only boost Zeke's ego up, knowing he was right about how Erwin is not part of this project, and that this is still Zeke's and Levi's business.

“I know nothing about this, Smith,” Porter answers.

“I understand, my apologies—”

“Silence, please. Yeager!”

“I'm coming, I'm coming!” Zeke exclaims, walking out of the bedroom and zipping up his pants. He's holding the tie in his fist and hasn't buttoned his shirt all the way up, just tucked it in. “Half ready,” he says, calling Levi with a gesture of his head.

“Move out,” Porter orders.

“Wait, is Levi coming?” Zeke asks.

A soldier pulls from Zeke's arms to take him outside the hut without having his question answered.

“Are we… to remain on the premises?” Erwin asks, taken aback. Zeke leaving on his own is not common, which only means he has his own little projects he's working on which don’t include either Erwin or Levi.

“Don't make me come here for a third time to make sure you're behaving, Smith,” Porter orders and slams the door shut.

“That asshole hasn't taken a shit in all his stay here,” Levi says.

“Why aren't they taking you with them?”

Levi shrugs. “They aren't taking you either.”

“And where is Lord Tybur?” Erwin asks. “Why aren't they coming for you?”

“You want me to leave so bad, I will,” Levi says, standing up.

Erwin shakes his head, letting out a deep sigh. “How did you even get here?”

“You never let me visit,” he answers, looking down at the floor, hiding behind his bangs.

Erwin wants to tell Levi he isn't visiting him, not particularly on this occasion, but swallows it. He can't think of a sentence that doesn't sound bitter because he doesn't think he's bitter. He's disappointed with himself for thinking so highly of this friendship. And Levi seems to have found in Zeke someone who satisfies his needs, someone to share private aspects of his life. The simple idea lets bile rise his throat and swallowing gets hard. He shouldn't be giving this so much thought, not when there's so much more at stake.

“Maybe they are interrogating Zeke too,” Erwin says instead.

“Huh?”

“Officer Porter's demeanour was too suspicious, and checkups are usually followed by some questions.”

Levi huffs. “He's very bad at coming off as threatening,” he says, walking to the stove and putting some water to heat.

“He certainly is,” Erwin answers, staring at Levi's waist again. He's so small and so dainty, so precious, and Erwin's only focused on why he's here, forcing him to leave. Levi's right, Erwin never lets him visit.

“So they might come for you in a while,” Levi says, turning around. He leans against the counter and Erwin has to dart his eyes for the hundredth time.

“I suppose so,” Erwin answers, looking down at his hands. “Zeke's family has an ugly history. He's worked hard to show his fidelity to Marley but that wouldn't save him in such situations. His family has been raided several times because of this. So was our shared room for some time.”

“They took me to a clinic our first morning here,” Levi says out of the blue.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” he answers, sitting opposite to Erwin. He crosses his arms, looking away before speaking again. “They were trying to get ahead of Marley I guess.”

“Was it… Ackerman-related?” Erwin asks.

“They got the results yesterday. They say my family comes from here.”

Everything shifts under Erwin’s chair as he stares into Levi’s eyes. “You're Hizuruan?”

“Shit, yeah. For like… a thousand-year lineage or something,” he explains. He’s frowning because he understands how important this is and how much weight it will put on him. “Magath is pissed ‘cause now they can't touch me. I'm nothing for them, I'm even not Tybur anymore.”

“Levi,” Erwin says, extending a hand in Levi’s direction. “This is so much more than we ever expected.”

Levi’s eyes dart from Erwin’s hands and his eyes before he blows the bangs away from his face, clicking his tongue. “I thought you'd be excited.”

“The Marleyan police can't touch you.”

“Yeah. No, they can't,” Levi agrees. “Gives Alex an advantage to control propaganda I suppose.”

“It does.”

“Stop smiling so much.”

“I'm sorry,” Erwin answers, chuckling, retrieving his hand. “I can't help thinking this is great news.”

Levi sighs, looking away. “I knew you'd enjoy it.”

Indeed, Erwin enjoys this bit of information for several reasons but he thinks the thing he enjoys the most is how Levi has finally accepted that he is an Ackerman. That he is history.

“This changes everything,” Erwin tells him.

Levi scoffs. “I will always be their errand boy. They need me for whatever it's they are doing.”

Erwin understands that Lord Tybur is clearly winning ground again but he will not make Levi say it out loud. “We're closer to Paradis than we've ever been,” is what he says instead.

Levi gets back up to brew the tea and mentions that according to what he's learned his family was most certainly not the only one to flee the continent successfully, and that at least four different lineages of Ackermans are living on Paradis. The information leaves Erwin staggered, not only because everything is brand new for his ears but also because it’s coming from Levi himself, the boy who refused his past so hard is now sharing everything he knows with Erwin. Besides, all of this means that Levi’s grandfather was born on this side of the ocean which makes Levi wonder if his mother knew this at all. Regardless, Erwin has a hard time believing many Ackermans remained alive after being chased down both outside and inside the island, no matter how hard they tried. Levi's only alive because his mother was smart enough to deny his history to the point he could never accept his origins until now.

They sit next to each other to share more stories. Now that Levi has a family and a purpose, Lord Tybur and Mrs Azumabito will make the best of it. They have planned a big ball that will be taking place over the weekend. Erwin hurts knowing he won't be able to assist, he feels betrayed even; they won't allow him that little feat because neither the Saviour nor the Beast are of any use to them any longer. Levi is his own person now and his title of Humanity's Strongest can be spread all around the world. Without any bad blood tainting his past, he could be the reason Marley steps down on this war. 

The plans for Paradis are at risk though. Levi hints that Tybur might want the Founder for himself, for his family. He will make sure his daughter marries Levi and that they start a family. He might just join his kids with the Azumabito. There's nothing to stop them now. Which is something Erwin wasn't counting on when he thought he would just be fighting Marley in this war.

It feels reinvigorating to be with Levi again, this close and this comfortable. He wasn't expecting Levi to open up to him like this, though he's not sure he enjoys knowing Levi's here because he intended to sleep with Zeke in the first place. In fact, Erwin would like to keep that fact away from his mind for just one second.

They put together every piece of Ackerman information they have gathered up to this point. Erwin needs to keep his thoughts organised if he's not going to be able to write about it for a whole day. The soldiers that rummaged inside his room made sure to take every blank piece of paper and pen as well as the little notes he took about what they had been doing in Hizuru. If it was for Erwin, he would not stop talking about this for one second but drinking so much tea forces him to run to the bathroom. Once he’s done, he finds Levi playing with the gramophone and changing the record.

“Heard this one?” He asks Erwin.

“I think I have,” he says but he's not sure from where. It doesn't sound like the type of things Magath used to listen to in his office back when Erwin was often invited.

Levi sways to the rhythm and hums along, gesturing to Erwin with a gesture of the hand. 

He shakes his head. “No, thank you,” he says, heading back to his chair.

“You don't dance.”

“I don't,” Erwin answers. “Especially not as well as you do.”

“I could teach you,” Levi says, slowly dancing along.

“What else have you been learning?” Erwin asks. They’ve talked so much about Hizuru that they left out Levi’s personal life.

“I take many classes,” Levi answers, shrugging. “Every day after I get back from HQ. I got better at writing too, so I’m kinda glad you never got any of my letters.”

Erwin isn’t. He has searched everywhere in the HQ post office and has asked everyone but nobody knows about any letters addressed to him and it kills him.

“I take dancing lessons in the evenings,” Levi continues.

“It sounds like those are your favourites,” Erwin tells him, smiling.

“They are alright,” Levi answers, dancing his way to Erwin. “I got to leave earlier some days,” he adds, pulling from his hands.

Erwin huffs a laugh, shaking his head. The fact that Levi cannot take no for an answer is too funny.

Levi keeps pulling from Erwin and says, “That's when I ask Bert to drop me over your block.”

“After your dancing lessons?” Erwin asks, slowly standing up, letting Levi walk him towards the gramophone. “Is that why you were always dressed so nicely?”

“I always dress nicely,” Levi says. He steps right in front of Erwin as close as he can, like he always does, leaving no room for personal space. “Let's start with the basics,” he proposes, putting one of Erwin's hands on his waist and holding the other in the air, just swaying his body.

“Did you dance?” Erwin’s so curious, he can’t stop. “Before?”

“With Isabel I did,” Levi answers softly. “But we didn't have any music. Unless we were sneaking behind a bar above—Move your feet, don't be scared.”

Erwin huffs a laugh, looking down to see how Levi does it and follows.

“This isn't ODM, you can do it,” Levi sneers.

“Are you suggesting my ODM skills are lacking?”

“Mhm.” 

Levi’s hair shines under the ceiling lights, Erwin can see his pointy nose looking down as Levi makes him follow his movements.

“What makes you think I'd do better at dancing?” Erwin asks.

“‘Cause I'll be teaching you.”

“Can I get better at it?”

“I guess—you're so stiff,” Levi says, shaking Erwin's body. “Fucking relax.”

“I'm relaxed!” Erwin exclaims, chuckling.

“No, here.” Levi gets closer still, resting his head against Erwin's chest, moving another hand to his back. “Flow with it,” he says.

It's uncomfortable, to say the least, though not as uncomfortable as when Levi is also staring directly at him. Without his burning gaze, Erwin can manage to keep it together without pushing Levi away.

“ I bet I could work wonders ,” Levi sings softly. The softest voice Erwin’s ever heard. “ Seems too good to be true .” It's such a soft voice that it reminds Erwin of his mother singing lullabies. “ I could be a marvel if I had a girl like you .”

Erwin closes his eyes and smiles, following Levi's voice.

“Single-handed,” Levi sings. “I'd rescue ship and captain and crew.” He guides Erwin to move, shifting their feet. “I'd be number one hero,” Levi recites. “if I had a girl like… there you go, blondie. You're doing great,” he praises, looking up at him.

Blondie. Erwin hasn't heard that in a while. That's what Farlan used to call him.

“I told you you could dance,” Levi tells him with a faint smile that warms Erwin’s heart.

“I have a good teacher,” he answers.

Levi huffs a laugh, pulling away. “Now you make me twirl,” he says, doing it under Erwin's hand before going back to their starting position. “And we keep dancing.”

The experience is new to Erwin, he’s seen other people doing it but he never did it himself. “How often should we do the twirl?” he asks.

“Tch. I've never heard such a stupid question,” Levi says. “How are you so smart?”

“I'm not.”

“No, you're not.”

“How am I supposed to know when a twirl is bound?”

“There's not a specific timing, Erwin,” Levi says, huffing in discomfort. “I don't know. You do it when you feel like it.”

“It doesn't seem correct. Under those rules I could twirl you right now,” he says, holding Levi by his hand high as he spins.

“Yeah, that's exactly it.”

“And again,” Erwin says, doing it again.

“Yeah, you're trying to be funny but it's normal to twirl someone—” Erwin makes Levi spin under his hand one, two, three times more until a smile pops up on his face.

“Are you done?” he asks, huffing a laugh. 

But Erwin is not done, not after being able to enjoy Levi's smile so he makes him twirl a couple more times.

“Ok, ok, you're making me dizzy,” Levi says, letting out a little giggle that catches Erwin by surprise.

“I told you,” Erwin says, too ecstatic to keep cool. “The rules were too broad.”

“Oh, you wanna spin?” Levi asks. He walks behind Erwin to move the low table and the couch away. The place is quite small but he manages to clear some space. “Come on, gimme your hands,” Levi says. “Have you done this before?”

“I guess?” Erwin's hands are clammy and he feels embarrassed for it as Levi holds them tight.

He starts moving, pulling from Erwin's hands. “Come on!” He urges Erwin to help the momentum.

It's a stupid thing to do, he can't help thinking they are not kids anymore. He would do this during recess and then fall on the floor to dirty his uniform and scratch his knees. They are not supposed to be spinning like little children while the world crumbles around them. But Levi has this skill that Erwin doesn't. He can live in the moment and enjoy the present because he never thinks the future will ever be favourable. So now he's smiling big, eyes wide as they speed up and spin and spin without a care in the world. 

“It's too fast!” Erwin exclaims and then Levi laughs loudly, open mouth, head tilted back and Erwin doesn't want this moment to end. He doesn't want to remember how messed up everything really is.

“We're going to fucking die! Shit!” Levi laughs and breathes and squints. 

They are spinning so fast, Erwin's sure they might just die if they let go and their heads hit the furniture. The only way to stay alive is never to let go of each other, but that doesn’t mean the speed of things make it all less scary.

Levi curses, chuckling, as they get their bodies closer together to slow down. They don't manage to fully stop before they drop to the ground, rolling, breathing heavily and giggling. Erwin's stomach hurts from laughing so much as he hugs himself to catch some air.

“No more—no more twirls and spins,” he manages, sitting up.

Levi's panting, face all red, hair dishevelled. “Yeah,” he breathes out. He crawls to get closer to Erwin, clasping their legs and dropping on him to fix his hair.

“Levi,” Erwin says, pushing him away. “You have to stop that,” he chuckles. “You get… too close, give me some space.”

“Fuck off, I don't,” Levi exclaims, moving back and clicking his tongue. He's still quite close, but his smile is gone.

“I'm sorry, I—” Erwin clears his throat. “I don't mind, I'm sorry. I'm just not used to it.”

“Whatever.”

Music is still playing and Erwin is glad they don't have to endure the silence. He's sad to have ruined the moment, though what hurts the most is rejecting Levi like this when what he's offering is harmless. Erwin thinks about the last time Levi and he got to be this close and this intimate, and it was too long ago. Erwin was so different. So much has happened. So much is coming.

“I'll play the song again,” Levi says getting up.

“Shall we try another dance?”

Levi looks over his shoulder. “Alright.”

He looks cold as he holds Erwin's hand and they begin to sway. He’s so stupid for having ruined the moment so badly.

“I didn't know I was so bad at playing cards,” Levi mumbles.

“Levi,” Erwin chuckles. “You can't let everyone know you have a bad hand.”

“I didn't,” he insists.

Erwin licks his lips, smiling. “Any little thing you do is a call out.”

“ Fuck .”

“Zeke wouldn't tell you,” Erwin points out. “I bet he wins a lot.”

“Mhm, he does.”

“I noticed Zeke touches his glasses,” Erwin says, inviting Levi to twirl under his hand, “when he's feeling so confident he can't help it. He didn't wear glasses when we were kids so it's a new fun perk in my favour.”

“That was a good twirl,” Levi tells him and he’s finally looking up at Erwin again.

“Am I getting better?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Levi says, closing their distance to rest against Erwin’s chest. His face is warm, so warm Erwin can feel it through his shirt.

“I don't think I'm up for swing though,” he tells Levi.

“You aren't.”

When the song is over, Erwin bows, thanking Levi for the short lesson, and refuses to accept another dance. He doesn't want to fuel this further; at the same time, he’s afraid of ruining it again. He lets out a deep yawn and moves away, thinking of sitting back on the table, but instead he drops on the couch. He wonders how many nights of not sleeping could he endure before going crazy. Last night was chaotic, tonight doesn't seem to be any easier.

Levi plays the same song again and turns around, walking towards Erwin. He crawls over the couch too, almost on top of him as if they didn't just have a conversation about personal space. He scoots right on the corner even if there's no room left and rests his head on Erwin's chest. He doesn't dare to kick him away this time and he's paralyzed to even try.

“You think Zeke’s coming back any time soon?” Levi asks, pulling Erwin back down on earth, letting him know where his thoughts are really focused on despite what it seems.

“I couldn’t say,” Erwin answers.

“I've received so many presents, It's ridiculous.” 

“What did you get?” Erwin asks, unable to understand what drives Levi to keep talking. Especially after pissing on Erwin for not shutting up.

“Mostly clothes, some trinkets, some books. A katana.” Levi’s hot breath hits Erwin’s chest every time he talks. His soft voice echoes inside and Erwin feels it traveling throughout him.

He thinks about Levi kneeling by the street despite it being dirty just to hug children who cherish him. He thinks about Levi kneeling next to him in that restaurant, tucking his hair behind his ear, bowing gratefully at the food being served.

“Hizuruan clothes fit you like a glove,” Erwin manages, lost in a trance of his own mind.

“Yukatas are more like dresses,” Levi explains.

“I know,” Erwin says, huffing a laugh. He almost forgets how literal Levi can be sometimes. “I mean they fit you very nicely.”

“Huh, you think so?”

Erwin swallows hard before daring to say, “Yes.”

Levi breathes in deeply, in and out of his nose. “You're a good dancer…” he says, sleepily. “When you try.”

“I'll try harder,” Erwin answers.

He stares at the ceiling as their conversation comes to an end, letting himself sink under Levi’s body and onto the couch. He’s heavy and warm, breathing deeply and looking so soft. The background music is still a lullaby for Erwin. He isn't sure when was the last time he took a nap; maybe one of those afternoons after heavy training that would drain him, certainly never at home, surely not once since he got back from Paradis.

Today has been the day Erwin discovered facets of Levi he never thought possible. He was smiling, he was laughing and dancing… he was having sex; now, he’s not even frowning. He looks peaceful and carefree, nothing like the boy Erwin had to smuggle out of Paradis. He still remembers how annoyed Levi looked, how much he grumbled for every word Erwin said. He never wanted to come here, yet here he is. Erwin wouldn't feel so hopeful if it wasn't for him.

He’s never seen Levi sleep so peacefully either; maybe Levi doesn't have a hard time falling asleep anymore now that he gets to sleep in a safe environment, in a big bedroom and a big bed. Erwin would like to think he knows Levi, but he doesn't at all; he’s not the criminal he used to be nor the cornered kitten Erwin nursed back to health on that ship. He’s a lord now and a war hero. Probably the world's strongest person left. And the kindest too.

Erwin moves Levi’s hair away from his face and takes it all in, caressing his cheek, peach fuzz silk skin. It would be dangerous if anyone came into the hut to find them like this. Even if it's normal that soldiers get playful for fun, sharing a bed or hugging, officers never see that as appropriate. There's also Zeke. Levi came here for Zeke. Erwin wonders what Levi sees in him as he caresses Levi's pointy chin with his thumb. Must be hard not to have anyone to love and care about. Maybe he and Farlan were a thing back then, Erwin never thought about it. And Levi is right to look for someone to share his time with. Who better than his everyday partner? They share so much time together, alone in their office, together in the battlefield. Erwin would like to stop thinking  about this and just let Levi be.

He moves his hand away to caress his face. The position is uncomfortable at this point, his other arm is going numb under the weight, but he fears that moving might disrupt Levi’s rest and he doesn't want to do this. There's also something so uncomfortable about how comfortable this feels, how much he wants to enjoy every second of this, which leaves him puzzled.

Then suddenly, Levi asks, “Do you mind if I play that song I like again?”

“N… no,” Erwin manages. “I thought you were asleep.”

“Not really,” Levi says, getting up.

Erwin's stomach goes crazy as he sits back up quickly. Levi's been awake while Erwin caressed his face. He shouldn't have done that, it was so clearly a bad idea. How is he supposed to explain it, why did he even do it? What compelled him to act so stupidly? He rubs  his face and stands up to walk his way to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He's too embarrassed to look back at Levi, he feels like a fool and he doesn't know why. Why can't he hug Levi and lie with him on the couch, what is stopping him? Is it Zeke? Or is it fear? And why Levi of all people?

The sound of the main door opening takes him out of the spiral. If Levi leaves at least Erwin will have some time to think it over. If Zeke's back then maybe it will take some of the burden off of him. However, he also fears that might mean Erwin might have to endure Zeke flirting with Levi instead.

“Smith!” Porter exclaims, knocking on the bathroom door.

He steps outside to find Zeke standing right next to an officer and looking grim. He's cleaner than he was before, like he has just showered. Levi is by the sofa, darting his eyes between them.

“Have a seat,” Porter orders. “Turn off the music.”

Levi obliges and so does Zeke, but he doesn't look at Erwin for even one second as he sits by the table.

“Ackerman, your driver is waiting for you. Please leave. We have important business to discuss.”

Levi clicks his tongue, gets his coat from the rack and walks outside. He spares a look at Erwin before leaving and it's too confusing, too fast. He won’t be able to see Levi again and Erwin doesn’t know how long it will take this time. Hizuru will want Levi to stay as much as possible and this is the way they say goodbye to each other. It’s never something they can foresee and Erwin’s tired of it. Somehow, deep inside of him, he promises himself that the next time he meets Levi, it will be for good.

“Smith,” Porter calls.

Erwin looks back at him. “Yes, sir.”

“Your father has been found guilty of treason to the motherland, inciting rebellion against the government, espionage on behalf of others, and conspiracy,” Porter says. “We confirmed he's been involved in a plot against the government. As you know, these charges carry a prison sentence.”

Erwin’s looking in Porter's direction but he’s not seeing him, his vision is blurred and his stomach has sunk. He’s listening but he’s not present. He’s trying to understand but it sounds like a nightmare.

“You might be able to see your father before trial,” Porter explains. “But I cannot assure anything else.”

He's lying, Erwin knows. His father is going straight to heaven. There's no other place to go. People have been sent there for far less. He’s going to be tortured, he’s going to be in pain and he’s going to be alive the moment they inject titan serum into his blood. Then he’s going to run like a mindless creature into the wild, tormenting the Eldians who are stupid enough to cross Paradis’ walls.

“Your flight will leave for Marley in two hours so get ready. Good evening, gentlemen,” Porter says and leaves, slamming the door shut.

Chapter Text

Three months ago - Hizuru

On their last day in Hizuru, Lara finds Levi under a tree, hiding from the sun.

They've been walking across the fields that surround Mount Tori all morning, the sun so mercilessly bright that she's carrying an umbrella with her to avoid getting burned. Her cheeks are red with the heat, her temples damp, and Levi is sure he looks similar.

He's startled when he finally sees her. He's too lost in thought thinking about Erwin and how he would like to write him again, now that he's better at it; he's not sure if he should do it or not, though, as a letter might just take even longer than Levi himself to reach Marley. Still, he'd like to write about the Hizuru ball he attended, about how different it was to Marley's parties, about how he danced, and how he saw people dancing worse than Erwin does. Levi would like to take something positive out of this even though he terribly wants to get back already. He doesn't like living this lie of colourful flowers and smiles. Besides, as much as he enjoys the fresh air and the peaceful atmosphere of the outdoors, Levi can still feel his lungs closing in, he can still see the empty darkness of the Underground. He can still hear his mother sobbing.

He showers as soon as he gets a chance, enjoying the floral scent of the soap and the shampoo. He’s got a hundred more of those to pack and take back to Marley; that and clothes, portraits, pictures, and even make-up. A brand new katana as well. Kyomi Azumabito says the community wants Levi to keep them in his heart and that she doesn’t want Levi to forget his roots. She says he’s pure of heart like his family has always been; Levi knows everyone is just too used to war, to killing, and to leave the weak ones to rot. They wouldn't care for him if he wasn’t strong; they wouldn't care for his mother if she was alive and sick, unable to defend herself. Hizuru doesn't care for bloodlines. They crave power just like everyone else.

Once again, the only thing keeping Levi on the go is Erwin. The prospect of everything coming true, everything they talked about that night under the stars of Paradis propels him. They will get back there together, putting an end to Marley's crimes. Maybe then Erwin will be set free from himself, from the responsibilities that numb his mind and body. Levi would like to know an Erwin that lets himself be hugged, that lets go. Just thinking back to how loud he laughed that afternoon they spent together dancing, how gentle he was caressing Levi's face. If only he had snuck into the right window that night; Levi was so upset to find Zeke and not Erwin inside that bedroom. He had promised himself not to indulge Zeke anymore, but there's no other way to make him shut up and avoid asking questions so Levi had to ride him to sleep.

Alex Tybur calls for a toast during their last dinner in the country. Levi doesn't think he ever imagined eating or talking this much in his life. He's exhausted and annoyed knowing that getting back to Marley won't give him any rest. Alex has already been planning more press rounds and galas. They will not announce anything related to Levi's status as an Ackerman yet but this alliance will empower the continent and will most likely make every other country surrender without a fight. The faster that happens, the faster they can go to Paradis.

“Lara, my love,” Alex calls. “What if we go wedding dress shopping? We might spark the press' curiosity, they might just start gossiping. People love dreaming of weddings.”

“You handle the press impressively,” Kyomi Azumabito says.

“They used to be a problem,” Alex explains, “but I've managed to use it in our favour. Now, there's not one day we don't appear in the Marley's Post .”

“How do you think they will handle the news about the saviour?” she asks.

Levi listens intently, taking in a deep breath to avoid dropping the food between his chopsticks. He puts them down and drinks instead, side-eyeing Kyomi.

“It will be hard to come back from,” Alex says with a sigh. “We need people's trust. Marley's trust. As you know, though, Eldians are never to be trusted.”

“It might have been a lie,” Kyomi offers.

“I highly doubt it,” Alex says. “Unfortunately, even if this wasn't certain, the man was sent to heaven.”

Levi's blood boils instantly from listening to the words; his ears burn, the hair on his neck stands up, he balls his fists, he clenches his teeth. The idea that Alex knows this and hasn't mentioned anything lets bile rise from Levi's stomach.

“The Smith boy must be devastated,” Kyomi says, looking at Levi.

He doesn't understand a thing, he's trying to make sense of this.

“His father should've known better than to mess with Restorationists,” Alex says. “Poor Erwin will have to move on one way or another.”

Now - The battlefield 

“Get ready, Yeager!” Officer Meyer screams above the aircraft's engine.

Zeke nods, frowning. Levi looks at him, at how serious he gets, clenching his fist around the harness of his parachute. In front of them are fifty Eldian prisoners restrained and tied across the aircraft, hanging from the ceiling and ready to drop. Their numb bodies make Levi flinch, the way they mumble words and drool; how their eyes look empty. They have been found guilty of treason and fed Zeke's spinal fluid, sentenced to die the most horrible death.

The aircraft hatch opens behind them and the strong, loud wind makes Levi shift in his place. He's sick and tired of this, sick of listening to Zeke's scream, and tired of fighting Marley's war. Levi watches as the bodies are reeled out of the aircraft and covers his ears by the time Zeke does his thing. Thunder sparks from the earth as the pure titans rise and the aircraft shakes in the air, making Mayer lose his footing. He could fall, Levi thinks, he could die today and Marley would throw a funeral remembering him as a great man and a great officer; nobody would mention he blackmails military women into fucking him, that he beats them up if they refuse. 

“Yeager, drop!” he orders, holding for dear life to the handrail of the aircraft.

When Zeke jumps out, there's nobody else in the fuselage. Levi and Meyer are left alone, staring at each other.

Levi's bones shiver, his skin prickles. He's sick of following this asshole's orders. He's tired of being under his command. Levi wants to see Erwin, he wants to talk to him properly, but people like Meyer won't allow it. They are attentive to Erwin's every move and want to watch him slip, to take him to heaven to follow his father's fate.

“Be ready to drop,” Ackerman!” Meyer orders, fear echoes through his throat. People from the Underground would say that mole rats stand still at the probability of imminent death. Meyer’s end is nigh, he must sense it.

Levi steps closer to the hatch, legs shoulder apart, bent slightly at the knees, weight balanced on the balls of his feet, body leaning forward. Zeke's shifting sparks lightning in front of his eyes. Levi remembers Tobias Smith's face, his smile, his ideas and how he has sickened Erwin's mind with disease, with things that brought him to his death. The same things that will kill Erwin soon enough. 

Meyer gives Levi the order to drop and Levi doesn't; sparing a look, he pays attention to how Meyer's lip quivers. Killing him will bring Levi no pleasure, no ease, it will mean nothing. Not to him, not to anybody. Someone as nasty as him will take his place, maybe worse too. There's no point, nothing will change and nothing will get better. Erwin's father won't come back, Erwin won't get better either. Nobody will bring Isabel and Farlan back, no one will even notice.

No harm, no foul.

Levi grips the harness on Meyer's parachute and yanks it while jumping out of the aircraft. He swiftly turns around in the air and gets on Meyer's back, pulling out a knife and slicing across the deployment bag. Meyer screams desperately, trying to unclasp Levi's leg from his stomach, but he'd never be strong enough. Levi could slice his neck, he could scoop his eyes out, yet Meyer falling to his death just like the rest of the Eldians do should be enough. 

He pulls from Meyer's hair and asks, “Have you pissed your pants yet?” Then, he lets go, jumping away from him, listening to how Meyer begs for mercy and diving through the air in the Beast Titan's direction. 

On the ground, pure titans run wild, throwing their arms around like lunatic brainless animals. The enemy soldiers that try to shoot the Beast die under his feet, the rest are eaten alive. Zeke clutches the remains of a house and winds up, pivoting to bring his arm back before he hurls the debris forward, shooting massive amounts of rocks ahead and destroying everything on his way. Levi fixes his objective on the horizon, there’s a sniper and a spotter sitting on the top of a far tower. He shoots his grapple to Zeke’s shoulder as soon as he’s close enough. The new upgrades made to his gear help every one of his movements to be smoother and quicker.

“Ten o’clock!” he screams when the Beast looks over his shoulder. 

Zeke raises his hand and Levi grapples onto it so that he can be propelled in the right direction.

The wind roars against his ears, the screams of the soldiers and the rumbling of collapsing buildings. A shot that Levi doesn’t bother dodging grazes his shoulder; the soldier is loading the next one, but he won’t be quick enough, not while his hand shakes and his breath hitches. Levi’s arm uncoils like a whip as he lets the blade of his grip loose, sending it across the air and going right through the shooter’s face. The soldier next to him screams but Levi can’t hear him, he shoots a grapple against the tower’s roof and uses the gas of his gear to slow down and fly around it, landing right against the wall. He looks around quickly as his shoulders tense, Zeke is throwing rocks in his direction now and Levi lets go, sliding down the tower and shooting a grapple elsewhere to get away from that place. Debris falls far too close for comfort as he jumps from house to house, escaping from the Beast’s destruction until he’s finally safe, landing on a roof. Around him titans run amok, and another aircraft flies above, dropping more people over the skies.

A second batch of pure titans is not necessary, chaos is already unleashed. More monsters running around does not mean winning faster, fear has already been spread. Marley is not looking forward to conquering this land, they are hoping to reduce it to rubble. Levi stares in disbelief, counting the seconds before it happens again, and covers his ears. 

Zeke screams.

Three months ago - Marley 

Levi threw up three times on the flight back. He couldn't stand the turbulence, he couldn't bear the idea of getting married, he couldn’t stop feeling Erwin’s pain.

He stands in front of the cameras that shoot flashes at him by the airport, he does it again in front of the gates of Tybur Manor, and once again when they are inside drinking tea with the governor. He unpacks his bags, he showers, he has dinner, and goes to bed. He doesn’t sleep.

Levi misses the sound of cicadas by the window. His room is so far away from the gardens that all he can hear is the noise inside his own head. He misses Erwin’s smile that afternoon he listened to Levi’s bloodline story intently, but knows he will never see that smile again. Will he even see Erwin ever again or is he once more getting demoted, kicked out to another city, back to his home, alone and hurt? How is Levi supposed to ever see him again if that’s the case? And who does he have to get rid of to accomplish that?

He doesn’t get to go to HQ all week; he doesn’t have class either, he can’t escape, as usual. He’s driven around with Alex because they have business to attend, political meetings where Levi just sits down quietly. He dares to ask, maybe for the first time, for some time alone, for a visit to Erwin’s block, but he’s denied. Alex says that he understands—he doesn’t, he couldn’t—but that being seen with a traitor wouldn’t be good for their image. He insists that Erwin needs to clean his name first and that then they will be able to meet again once Levi’s back on duty.

A week goes by and Levi doesn’t get a wink of sleep, he doesn’t function. He wonders if Erwin’s dead and everyone’s lied to him. He pictures Erwin’s lifeless body hanging from an aircraft, he listens to Zeke’s scream ripping Erwin’s body apart. Levi shouldn’t allow it, he couldn’t. What is left for him to do then? What is he doing now? Living in this manor is no different than being underground, blind to the world, tied up to its nuisances and drawbacks. Trying to go outside would mean sneaking out, but he doesn’t have his gear in case someone catches him; he could slice throats and stab hearts but he wouldn’t make it far. There’s no place to hide.

When the time comes, Levi’s ready first thing in the morning. His eyes are dry and they burn, his head is numb. He stares at the blurry wallpaper, twitching his leg until Bert shows up.

Levi grumbles. “Come on, old man, we need to leave,” he says.

“Apologies, my Lord,” Bert says, brushing his eyes. “I was under the impression you resumed duty after lunch hours,” he explains, fetching his coat. 

Levi had to knock on his door this morning. He was supposed to visit HQ later but he’s not wasting any more time. Bert understands how important this is even if it’s implicit, he’s the one that has more to lose yet risks his life driving Levi places he shouldn't be going most of the time.

The officer by the gates is a different one again, but Levi has no strength to pay him any attention; as soon as he’s inside, he starts running. He goes past the main building and the armory, he runs past the dorms and further yet until he reaches the other side of the premises. In the training field, the kids are loading his guns, Gabi spies him and waves, stepping on her tiptoes. The soldier standing in front of her is tall and buff, Levi steps closer. He wants to see his face, he wants to see Erwin’s eyes. He wants to share his pain, he wants to save him.

“What are you doing here?” Mike asks, turning around.

“Where’s Erwin?” The question comes out like word vomit, he desperately needs to know.

Mike frowns and scrunches his nose, sniffing before cocking a brow. “With Magath most likely. He’s serving as General Magath's orderly.”

Levi turns around quickly to leave but Mike takes hold of his shoulder, a stronger grip than anyone has ever dared to put on him.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” he says.

Levi looks over his shoulder, clenching his teeth. He should break Mike’s fingers, then his arm.

“Erwin is safe because he knows how to play this game,” Mike tells him. “Don’t mess with it.” He lets go of Levi’s shoulder and looks away. “As for now, he’s sleeping on the premises,” Mike adds. “Do with that information what you want.”

His words turn something on in Levi’s brain and his shoulders drop, the tension leaves. Erwin is alive and he is well, he’s closer than ever too. Levi won’t have to spend another day without seeing him.

He nods curtly, staring at Mike through his eyelashes and leaves. Going up to Magath’s floor would imply messing with Erwin’s game, Levi understands that but he doesn’t think he could wait until evening to find him around here. Zeke is smoking with another soldier by the door of the main building as Levi walks past him and inside. He didn't know Zeke would be here this earlier, but Zeke surely did. He doesn't look surprised to see him. He only steps back into the office after Levi has already opened the windows and swept the floor.

“Morning, sugar pie,” he says, closing the door behind him. “I wasn’t expecting you this early.”

Zeke knows deep down Levi doesn't want to see him, doesn't want to endure him, and so he enjoys being here to annoy him. It’s such sick and embarrassing behaviour; Levi won't be getting on his knees for him ever again.

“Did you miss me?” Zeke asks.

“No.”

“Of course not,” he says, walking to this chair. “You’re not here because you enjoy fooling around with my beard.” Zeke sneers, putting his feet up.

He loves making evident how much he knows, how much he sees. He would never play the part of a fool, not in front of Levi at least. He wouldn't try to come at him for a kiss or a handjob because he’d be rejected. He knows how to play games too. Levi hates that. He hates that everyone around him has an agenda, he would never be able to match their smarts. He’s only the brawn.

Zeke fills him with the latest news, the changes around HQ, and an incoming meeting regarding the siege to the nation of Vermin that’s incoming. He lets out what he knows about Erwin’s father by playing coy, saying he should've known better after all these years of being in the spotlight.

“You can't be fucking serious,” Levi spits out. He knows Zeke's pushing his limits and that he's failing miserably, he's too tired for this. Yet they barely ever fight, they barely argue; they mostly just talk rudely to each other because even though Levi gets quickly tired of Zeke, he always leads him on, and Levi can’t help but understand Zeke is completely obsessed with him.

“I think I know what I'm talking about, Levi.”

“I bet you do,” Levi deadpans. “Yet you fail to understand the people need relief from being sent to fight a war against themselves.”

“Be careful with your words, Levi. We fight for our motherland.”

“You are loud enough when I take you in my mouth,” Levi hisses.

“Well, it's funny you bring that up,” Zeke answers, standing up with both hands on the desk. “Considering you're the one getting on his knees against his will. Take a leaf out of your own book, why don't you? Slit Meyer and Gerst's throats in their sleep and make a run for it,” he says, too calmly. “You could do it, you don't need to fight with us. Why do you stay?”

Levi can’t manage any words, not as smart as Zeke’s. “You're fucking sick,” he seethes.

“It's always us or someone else, Levi. Smith knew fate would come for him, he asked for it.”

“Are you playing merciful here?”

“I'm trying to save our asses, Levi. If it wasn't him, it would have been Erwin. Would you prefer that?”

Motherfucker’s aim is so good, Levi feels the words pierce his throat. “Nobody should be on the other end of the sword,” he manages.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Zeke mutters.

The Vermin strategy session takes place in the debriefing room. Levi wasn’t invited, these meetings are for generals and captains, Zeke’s the one who can’t miss them since he’s the one who will later fill Levi and his brigade in, but Levi doesn’t want to miss this one, not today.

They stand at the far end of the room, leaning against the wall. The place is cold and humid, it always is, no matter how sunny it might be, and it stinks of old men and cigars, mold, and cheap cologne. Most of the brass are all old and wrinkled men, coughing their lungs out, muttering words to one another, and letting out fake laughs. Levi can’t stand them; trying to zone out to avoid losing it, he twitches his legs, scraps the cuticle of his thumb, he bites the inside of his cheeks. He’s only here for one man.

The door opens with a loud creak and Magath makes his way inside followed by Erwin. He’s huge and broad and young in comparison, so much taller than most of the people in the room, only this time, he’s just as grim. Erwin stares right down to the floor, hands behind his back; devoid of life—did he die along with his father?

The meeting is long, too long, and Levi barely pays attention to it. He remains against the wall and looks at Erwin and maybe for the first time he would want to go unnoticed. Erwin doesn't look anywhere but at the table, at the maps, and at the officers who take turns to speak. He nods and he answers the questions Magath does to him and also whispers into his ears, he takes notes, and nods some more. He's Magath's favourite again.

“There would be no need of making a drop near the port,” Erwin's voice comes out loud and low, Levi feels it reverberating all over the room so heavily it goes right through his chest. “Our Beast gives us the advantage to attack from a distance with great accuracy; pitching debris from the landing zone should be enough to force the enemy to retreat while also being able to function as an anti-aircraft weapon.”

Calvi lets out a deep sigh, looking around. “Is the enemy's retreat important? They need to surrender, not crawl back to their caves.”

“We count on the fear factor, sir,” Erwin explains. “Pure titans are chaotic and the Beast's skills are capable of astonishing fire rates surpassing any weapons. Ackerman will do the rest,” Erwin says, forcing Levi's stomach to churn. “He’s a weapon capable of securing a surprisingly high number of kills on the target from a reasonably close range. The enemy will retreat, and they will surrender.” 

Calvi seems pleased with his words as Erwin nods and takes a step back. He's never talked about Levi like he was a gun, an object. Even if he knows that much about himself, that Erwin picked him up for a purpose and with reason. He said it to Levi himself, he comes from a strong lineage of warriors by design, and he can serve a purpose. That night in Paradis they spent by the ocean, while Levi still couldn't grasp Erwin's big round eyes around his head, he saw something truthful in him, something real. Something that isn't here right now and Levi fears has been lost.

The meeting comes to an end and it's Magath who walks out first, followed by his young, blond, favourite lackey. Levi starts moving, slithering among the rest of the soldiers on their way out and follows Erwin with his eyes. He's following Magath across the corridor and up the stairs, that's when he spots Levi right behind him, but says nothing so they keep walking and he keeps following until he's locked outside Magath's office. Levi traces his steps back to the hall and stands by a window, looking outside. The shot of several rifles ripple through the air from the training field. The engines of the trucks rumble by the roads. His heart beats fast, his ears feel plugged, he can't bear the past of time, he can barely feel relief for seeing Erwin alive and breathing.

“Levi.”

He turns around and looks up to find Erwin in front of him. He's very close at first before he takes a step back. Levi has no idea what to say to him now that he's here, tall and imposing in his Marleyan uniform.

“Low rank soldiers are not allowed on this floor,” Erwin says sternly.

“I wasn't there, Erwin,” Levi manages. “I didn't know until it was too late, I'm… I'm sorry.” Being sorry means nothing, Levi knows it doesn't change things. He should've been there to mourn with Erwin. He never mourned his mother, never had the time.

“Levi.”

“I should've stayed and I would've known about your father.”

“My father was a traitor to the nation,” Erwin answers. “He stood against everything I fight for. I'm grateful to not be connected to him any longer.”

“Wh—”

“Please, Levi. Leave this floor immediately or I will be forced to call security. They will not be as gentle as I am.”

“Erwin.”

“Know your place as I know mine,” he answers, turning around and walking away.

Now - The battlefield 

Levi’s not fighting humans anymore and the enemy has not retreated. Pure titans rain from the skies and fall flat on top of houses, on top of cars, on top of soldiers. Levi propels his way across the air from titan to titan, slashing napes open one after the other. They are coming by the thousands, the invasion is out of control and the enemy keeps shooting at them as if bullets would do anything. Vermin is not surrendering, their soldiers are cannon fodder just like any Eldian, taking bullets for their country. Nobody's safe, nowhere to hide, some titans are tall enough to reach those soldiers hiding on rooftops, taking people by a handful before gobbling them up. Levi can't take the smell, the titan blood stinks even after vaporizing to the air; there's people screaming, begging for help but they are merely torsos whose legs have been devoured. The Beast keeps shooting rocks forward without fixing his aim until another aircraft flies by, leaving a red trace of smoke behind it.

Zeke's scream leaves everyone paralysed on the field and several lighting strikes on the far side of the city leave Levi breathless.

“No. ”

He shoots his grapple, swinging from titan to titan until he's close enough to Zeke to climb up his shoulder. From there he can see it; the enemy soldiers are being attacked from both directions.

“What the fuck did you do!” Levi asks.

Zeke doesn't answer. Levi looks down at their allies dying without knowing what to do about it. They have barely had any ODM training and are not ready to use it, all they have for themselves are rifles which can only kill people; most of the enemies on the field are not people anymore.

“Tell them to stop!” Levi orders, stamping the Beast’s shoulder. “Tell them to fucking stop!” He shouts again, but Zeke barely looks at him.

Levi growls, sick and tired, and runs to the back of Zeke's head. He's going to slice him out of there, he's going to rip him out and chop him to pieces until he fucking stops. Levi attaches a blade to his grip and puts pressure on one foot to pivot on the Beast’s fur, ready to make the cut. Before he knows it, he’s blown out of there and he takes Zeke with him. He doesn’t know where he’s at until he shoots his gear again, trying to lighten the fall and holding Zeke’s screaming, bleeding body and flying away. He drops to a rooftop to gather himself and finds the Beast’s body standing, a steaming hole in his torso.

“Fuck!” Zeke exclaims, gargling in his blood.

Levi looks at him, rolling and screaming as his body heals up. He doesn't need help, he doesn't need reassurance, so Levi looks away. He can find the shooter easily, he could climb back up the Beast’s shoulder before it crumbles and get a good look but there are other thousand screaming soldiers around him. He assesses the odds; whoever shot the cannon will fall sooner or later, titans are attacking from every front. Around him, everyone is on the verge of death, the building Levi’s on is tumbling, it will collapse soon enough. It’s sick, it’s all so sick and they know Levi will fight through this and even if all Eldians die here, Zeke and Levi will survive to tell the tale, to take pictures and be sold as saviours, as heroes. Levi learned about futility before his travel to Hizuru and thought about life in the Underground. He always thought the point of life was to keep fighting; his mom never gave up, no matter how sick she was; Isabel still got up, no matter how hard they beat her up. Farlan sometimes didn’t get that but Levi did. If his mother was strong enough to hug and feed him at the end of the day, then he would remain strong too.

He spares a look at Zeke as his legs grow back. He’s lying there staring at the sky, not screaming or crying anymore. Levi jumps off the roof and shoots his grapple; all he can do now, all he’s got to do is keep fighting. He swings from titan to titan, running up their arms and back and slicing through their napes. He cuts a hand, forcing a titan to drop a soldier to the ground and pulls him to safety. Then he gets up and grapples up again. He keeps going until his arms hurt, his stomach aches, he’s slapped on the back and lands against a wall but gets up, swallowing his own blood. He feels his veins on fire, his sight enhanced, his skin prickling and keeps going. Around him is a pool of titan carcasses vaporizing, so many of them that he can barely see through it. Shots are flying through the air, almost aimlessly, desperate guns firing at anything and nothing altogether. He takes a deep breath in, ready to keep going before he hears his name.

“Everyone stay behind Ackerman,” the familiar voice exclaims. “Shoot the legs and the eyes. Keep going, don’t stop!”

Levi averts his eyes and finds Erwin among the vapour and dust, he’s on one knee, shooting titans down, blinding them, incapacitating them, making it easier for Levi to go for them. And so he does. Erwin shoots a titan’s leg and Levi jumps to its back, slashing it down. Erwin shoots an eye, forcing a titan to slow down and Levi gets to it. They take titans one after the other; the synchronicity makes Levi’s body move on its own. It’s hard and it’s nasty but it works, he manages to take down enough titans to clear the area and once he takes another look around, he grapples onto a crippled titan to finish it off. The soldiers near him yell excitedly, they cheer as if they have won the war when all they did was survive their own weapon of massive destruction. Levi walks away from them, trudging among the debris, looking for Erwin again.

And there he is, standing tall, wiping the sweat and dust away from his face, hair dishevelled. He finds Levi and it happens again, his bright wide eyes are saying something… something Levi doesn't dare to replicate, something he might misunderstand. Erwin smiles so big that Levi could crumble. Is it done? Did we make it? Is what Levi manages to convey, looking back. When Erwin nods, Levi falls to his knees, clenching his teeth. He doesn’t break sight, he stares right at Erwin and blinks heavily, nodding. 

Chapter Text

Vermin’s battlefield

Levi rests his face against Erwin’s palm, it’s rough and sticky but it offers some sort of peace. 

The soldiers around them aren’t cheering anymore; they are sobbing, looking for survivors. There can’t be many, Levi’s seen most of them being torn apart, but he couldn’t save them all. He could barely save himself, thanks to Erwin being here to call the shots, to see the bigger picture. Just like he’s doing now as Levi’s on his knees, exhausted from the fight and Erwin is caressing a thumb on his cheek, giving some energy back into his body.

“You’ve got marks,” Erwin suddenly breathes out, a grin too wide for Levi’s comfort. “Titan marks,” he explains.

“Tch,” Levi responds, moving his face away. He touches his skin and flinches. It’s lacerated.

“Does it hurt?”

“No,” he answers. It doesn't, it just feels weird, softer than most of his skin, sticky. “Magath threw you back here,” he says.

“I’m disposable.”

Levi clenches his teeth. Where is he supposed to go after this war if Erwin is not here? How are they ever getting back to Paradis? He’d like to be pleased to see that Erwin was only playing a part back in HQ but he’s still pissed. Pissed because Marley makes Erwin feel less and pissed because Erwin believes it.

“Magath shouldn’t leave his errand boy to die.”

Erwin huffs a laugh. “He can always find someone else to take notes for him,” he says, darting his eyes around Levi’s shoulder, over his neck. He’s probably looking for more titan marks.

Zeke has told Levi about them, he says they make no sense, since Levi isn't connected to any titan. The marks are a result of his flesh being one with his Beast, hence, Levi’s marks can only be the result of muscle memory. Something in his genes, Zeke has rambled on and on about how the marks might have served a purpose once. Levi didn't care then and he doesn't care now. He’s never seen his face after a fight, and he hates knowing the same marks that grow on Zeke, grow on him as well.

“You did wonderfully,” Erwin tells him.

Levi wants Erwin’s hand on his cheeks again, he wants to fall face flat against Erwin’s chest. Maybe he'd try that if they were not surrounded by death, even if Erwin would only allow it for a minute.

“Hundreds of soldiers died before I could do anything,” Levi says.

Erwin puts his hands on him, fixing the buckles on his gear, turning the chest straps, tightening the collar. “Does anything hurt?” He asks.

“No,” Levi answers, swallowing around his dry throat.

“Good,” Erwin says, taking his hands away and Levi wonders if it's his turn to fix Erwin's uniform. “Let's move out. We have more work to do.”

Now

Days are growing too cold for Levi’s comfort. The news says it might snow and that means that ice will rain from the sky. Levi wouldn't trust them if it wasn't for the fact that everyone seems to agree with that. He has a hard time believing that every citizen and the news are in on making him believe a lie; he just can’t wrap his mind around the idea. He also doesn't like the fact that snow means it will be colder; they say the coldest year of this decade is around the corner. 

Levi rubs his hands in front of the chimney before he sits back, crossing his legs, going for the teacup. There’s something about the cracking of the fireplace that makes him feel at peace. The mansion is too quiet, too eerie. Every second in silence takes Levi back to the battlefield, to the screaming and crying, to the sound bodies make between a titan’s teeth. The gunshots are also unbearable, he sometimes wishes guns didn’t exist at all. It’s so easy to pull a trigger, to re-load it. Kids carry their guns like toys, and nobody thinks before using them. Lately, Levi’s been waking up in the middle of the night to the explosion of a cannon. He can feel his own legs being ripped off his body, he can see Zeke laughing at him for not being able to grow them back.

He hasn’t seen Erwin in weeks, he hasn't been to HQ or taken any classes. There’s a big revolt in the city, people are hungry and rioting against the war, the police are beating them up and sending them packing. Marley killed as many people as they could in Vermin because they would never be able to feed them. Not even Hizuru is willing to take such risks. And now Levi cannot be on the streets because people will scream and throw rocks at him. There’s nothing about that on the news, Levi is still a hero according to them. Hizuru’s alliance was a success after all. Vermin will be the land of Marley’s future, Valerica their connection to the rest of the world. The government has promised to build a stadium, parks, schools and hospitals. Levi wonders just how many Eldian slaves that will take.

Lara Tybur sits opposite to him.

She’s spent every evening reading the letters people write to Levi. They tell him he’s handsome, that he’s strong, that they want to marry him, some women go far enough as to send nude pictures of themselves. Levi assumes it is only pompous, bored people that sit in the comfort of their homes who write these, while their butler cleans the shit off their toilets. Nobody else has the time. 

No one hungry would have the energy to write to Levi how much he means to them for killing people they don’t care about. Those people are the ones throwing rocks at him. So Levi barely pays attention to Lara’s words, they are white noise that accompanies his hot tea. Instead, Levi daydreams. He likes picturing Isabel sitting right in front of the fire, putting her hands against it like she did those nights they were above. They never needed to light fires in the Underground, the air was hot and heavy enough, and a bonfire would take up the little oxygen they had. But above, right under the sky on those chilly, starry nights, a warm bonfire was very necessary, especially that first night they climbed up through the sewers. The night Erwin almost died.

Bert shows up to take him out of his haze, asking what they want for dinner. Levi lets Lara decide—whatever Bert cooks is good. He hasn’t been allowed to go home for a few weeks, Alex wants him to make sure Levi is taken care of. Levi doesn't need Bert, that goes beyond saying. He even hates knowing that if it finally snows, Bert might not be able to get back home at all this winter.

“I think I recognise this name,” Lara says, opening a new letter. “This lady loves you so,” she adds.

Levi pours more tea for both of them, letting out a deep sigh and lets her read out loud.

“Dear Levi, your astonishing work is ever so brave, so fierce. We are lucky to have you on our side. The prospect of dying does not hurt because it means dying for a cause.” Lara stops to chuckle. “Oh, lord, she’s obsessed.”

“She’s fucking nuts,” Levi says.

“Afternoons are brighter right here by the sea. You work wonders, someone too good to be true. Single-handed you'd rescue ship and captain and crew, and be my number one hero too.”

Levi frowns, sipping his tea. Those are the lyrics to his favourite song.

“What is she on about?” Lara asks but Levi says nothing. “The sky is dark at night but I see you among the stars. Your silver eyes owe galaxies nothing. Visible in their latitude, they wait for your call to guide her across the universe. As I wait for mine. Yours, Selene,” Lara reads. “That was… intense,” she adds.

Levi shrugs, dismissing her as she picks up another letter and his mind runs rapidly. All those words spinning inside his skull. It’s too much of a coincidence, Kenny would always say he didn't believe in coincidences, that things happen for a reason, that he was alive because he didn't make mistakes, because he didn't fuck around. It wasn't a coincidence that he was alive, and it wasn't a coincidence that he found Levi after his mother died; Levi didn't just get lucky. People are responsible for the course of their lives and they should commit to it.

But what the fuck is that letter supposed to mean? Is Erwin just playing with him? Is there a secret he should unveil? Erwin knows better than to give someone like Levi a puzzle to solve. Is all that galaxy talk about Andromeda? Levi doesn't know the latitudes of that place. And why use his favourite song? What is he supposed to do about this? He’s overthinking it, it’s useless. Erwin is just writing for the sake of it, because he isn't allowed to write anything else. Hell, this might just not be Erwin at all, yet the simple prospect of it is enticing. Seeing each other in Vermin left Levi feeling warm, he was Erwin’s companion throughout as they never were before. Fighting next to him felt purposeful, even if the circumstances didn’t change.

“Crap!” Lara suddenly exclaims, dropping the letter opener to the floor.

Drops of blood evaporate before they touch the floor, causing them to stare at each other.

“Careful with that,” Levi says.

“Please don’t tell my father you know.” She sounds desperate as the wound closes. Levi nods.

Of course they would put her through this, of all people. Levi wonders if she always knew she’d be picked to inherit her family’s titan, and how long it’s been. Maybe it was decided after Levi showed up in Marley, or maybe it was her destiny. He surely remembers seeing her in shock one particular afternoon, right before their trip to Hizuru. Would Kyomi know?

“Is fighting… hard?” Lara asks.

They have never discussed war, they never talk about anything that isn’t fanmail, dinner, or weather. Levi knows that Lara isn't as boring as she seems, but he can’t see through the thick wall they have put in front of each other.

“When fighting is all you have left, it doesn’t matter,” Levi says. He’s probably the worst person for this conversation. “If you don't kill, then you die. It’s not a matter of choice either, unless you’re there of your own volition. I don’t come from a place of tea, parties, and balls. I had to fight for food. I had to fight to stay alive.”

Lara nods, looking down at her hand where there’s no trace of a cut anymore. She looks terrified. 

“I hope you’re lucky enough to avoid it entirely,” Levi adds. He leaves the teacup by the table and gets up, adjusting his clothes. “Let's put this mess back in place,” he suggests, collecting the letters.

He examines them one by one until he finds what he's looking for; Erwin's handwriting is so easy to pick out from anyone else's. It's clearly him. Levi read every single report Erwin wrote when they were travelling from Paradis; he could find Erwin's letters in a pile two times his size.

“Where do you put these?” Levi asks.

“I can take care of it.”

“Go get ready for dinner, I got this,” Levi offers.

“Alright, thank you,” she answers, looking down at the floor. “I put them on the trunk by the studio.”

Levi's steps echo through the hall as he walks towards the last door. He’s barely ever here, unless it’s raining and Alex wants Lara to play the piano. The trunk has always been there, next to the bookcase, but he never paid attention to it. 

It seems handmade, perhaps a gift; the Tybur sigil is marked on the locks and handles. Levi kneels in front of it and upon opening it, he finds just what he was expecting: piles and piles of envelopes. He recognises some of the stamps now, the Hizuru flag is placed in some of them. 

He remembers the last time he broke the lock on a trunk just like this one, only to find it was empty. The owner was a big fat liar and Levi fell for it. That night he ran so fast to save himself from the Military Police that he could feel his chest setting on fire. 

It feels very similar now, but for different reasons. Levi browses through the envelopes, looking for letters from this so-called Selene. One of them is easy to find, and is dated before Vermin; he puts it inside his shirt and searches for more. It’s hard to find a third, Levi doesn’t remember any of them as much as Lara, maybe there are no more. But according to her, this “lady” writes often. 

Levi notices the envelopes from Selene’s letters are not as white as others; it helps narrow down his search but flips through so many letters that he’s sure he missed some. Then he finds one more. He puts everything back in its place, closes the trunk, and hastily walks up to his room to dress up for dinner. The letters go right to the bottom socket of his drawers. He will have to set them on fire after this.

Vermin’s battlefield

The aftermath is gruesome. The sky knows this as thunder threatens to approach, lightning in the far, dark clouds. Medics run from one place to another, trying to save soldiers from bleeding to death. Most are missing limbs. The ones without their heads are the luckiest ones. Surviving this war means going home and never fighting again, but at what cost? They will limp on their grim streets trying to get stale bread for their wives, convincing their children that fighting for Marley is worthy, or else they might end in heaven.

Erwin doesn't leave Levi's side this time, not since they found each other on the battlefield. He kept leading the soldiers to take titans down, helping Levi to slash through them. The enemy didn't surrender, there's more war to fight even though most of them are dead. The east side of Vermin is on the other side of a vast prairie, but it will not take long for Marley to reach it. The Hizuru alliance has ensured that they will offer secure shelter to those who surrender. Vermin is stuck right in-between, they have no other choice.

“They don't care who dies, they don't care how much land is destroyed on the way,” Levi says. He’s sitting by what used to be the entrance to somebody’s house. 

Erwin stands next to him, his Marleyan uniform scratched and bloodstained. One of the two black stripes that hold his chest has torn. Wearing white for such filthy tasks seems like a poor decision, but Marleyan officers might just feast on seeing the results of their kills on a clean canvas. 

“This will not be the last time they aim cannons at you,” Erwin says. “Marley needs to capture these lands sooner rather than later before the enemy is ready for a bigger attack.”

Levi never stopped to think that the cannon was directed at him. But, shooting a shifter is useless, that much he understands.

“Marley will run out of soldiers,” Levi points out.

“They will never run out of Eldians,” Erwin answers.

Levi looks around, people need their help and they are talking like idiots. Zeke's nowhere to be found, but Levi's not looking forward to seeing him. He tugs from Erwin's arm and together they fetch some wood. They will need to build a bonfire to burn the body parts that are uncovered after the titans disappear. They never digest what they eat, and the remains turn putrid on the ground unless soldiers do something about it. 

The first thing they do is create a bed of small, dry sticks before piling up some logs to lay the bodies on. This is the nastiest part. Everything that comes from a titan stinks: their vapour, their blood, their drool. Levi and Erwin load a truck with the help of some soldiers and carry the body parts to the bonfire. Erwin takes a lighter out of one of the pockets in his uniform. He drips some gas on the end of a torch and lights it before walking around the corpses to set them on fire.

Levi thinks of Kuchel’s burning body. Kenny was the one to decide they should burn her. The more time goes by, the more Levi is sure that Kenny knew about them, their lineage, their story. He wanted to leave no trace of Kuchel, he wanted nobody else to see her and use her ever again. Yet Levi can’t understand why Kenny didn't just get rid of him too, just like he got rid of her. He wasn’t a good father, he never tried, so what was he trying to do? Did he train Levi to recruit him in the future? Did Erwin get to him before Kenny could?

The fire catches quickly, the wind helps, and the stench gets worse. Levi can’t stand the smell of human flesh burning, roasting. He walks away, staring at the horizon and how the sun hides behind the debris of what used to be someone's home. They will have to put up tents tonight, everything has been destroyed to the point that there are no houses to occupy in the area.

Erwin comes to him and asks for help, they are holding a soldier down and putting a tourniquet on him. He’s screaming and looks like a ghost, his lips barely distinguishable from the rest of his face. Levi doesn’t think he’ll survive, but he makes sure the tourniquet is tight enough to avoid him losing any more blood. 

Levi’s hands are hot and sticky by the end of it. Erwin pours some water on them and hands him a rag. The bonfire is still burning as more logs and bodies are thrown on it, lighting the field now that the sun is gone. A medical tent is put up and not even the cicadas are around to appease the screaming soldiers.

Zeke is there when they gather around Magath for a debrief. They can’t find Meyer, he wasn’t in the aircraft when it landed. Levi can tell they are suspicious, but they can’t touch him. They still need him. Levi hopes Meyer is burning in that pile.

There's nothing left to do but wait it out. The Vermin military has no more men to fight this war, and Marley has threatened to drop pure titans on nearby cities come morning. 

Tents are up, food is served. Nobody's eating. 

“Do guns cause storms?” Levi asks Erwin. The hot bowl burns the palm of his hands, in a good way.

“It’s an interesting idea. They certainly sound alike,” Erwin offers. “But I can say for sure it’s not related. Atmospheric conditions are not affected by guns.”

“I knew it was a stupid question,” Levi says, putting the bowl down and hugging his legs. He can see Zeke smoking far away from them. He’s usually nosy, playing the friendly part. It's surprising that he's not trying to meddle between Levi and Erwin.

“It’s not,” Erwin answers, frowning. There's a bruise above his eyebrow and a scratch on his cheekbone.“You ask very interesting questions. You have a particular way of looking at things.”

“That’s just a fancy way of saying I'm an idiot.”

“Knowing or not knowing about what causes rain isn’t what makes someone smart,” Erwin says. 

His voice is soft and he's serious. He's about to go on one of his neverending lectures, so Levi has to hide his smile behind his arm, leaning on them.

“You look at things with humanity and you find beauty in the simple things.”

Levi isn’t sure what Erwin’s talking about, he lives in a mansion of all places.

“You kept Isabel’s trinket safe,” Erwin explains. “You folded that paper with their names on it and put it in your pocket. I always remember Hizuru and how you kneeled on the mud just so that kids could hug you.”

“That’s not smart,” Levi mumbles against his arm.

“Being smart isn't about reading or writing. To me, I believe that you…” Erwin chuckles.

“What?”

“Sorry,” he says, huffing a laugh.

“What?” 

Erwin shakes his head and takes another spoon of his meal, taking his time to answer. It's been long since Levi saw him lost for words.

“You know how to read people,” Erwin finally says. “You know when to act. You’re very clever, Levi.”

“Just don’t know my place,” he quips.

Erwin laughs again, louder this time and lets out a deep sigh before saying, “I hope you can forgive me.”

“Tch. I understand,” Levi answers, unable to peel his eyes away from Erwin's smile.

Now

The port is empty this afternoon, Levi’s only seen it like this the first time he was brought here with Zeke. Magath wanted him to meet the Beast. He can still feel his stomach churning at the sight of that big creature emerging from the waters. He didn’t understand, he couldn't grasp the idea that every Eldian was subjected to this curse and that similar creatures were wandering around the Paradis lands. Then, he saw what pure titans were really like and it felt even worse.

Levi walks across the pier, using a hand to block the sun. It’s still very cold, and he’s wearing gloves—fur on the inside, leather on the outside—, they keep him warm and he likes them. His coat is comfortable too, and it keeps the wind at bay even if his ears are freezing. Coming here was silly, he thinks, but he’s running out of ideas. Erwin is not living in his house in Liberio anymore, and Levi couldn’t manage to find him in any of the military housings.

He isn’t here either, though. The allusions to the sun by the ocean are just that, stupid fancy words Erwin enjoys using. At this point, Levi even doubts himself and his memory. Maybe that’s not Erwin’s handwriting, maybe he never wrote and Selene is just another lonely, stupidly rich woman. Only this time, Levi won't lose hope. Erwin always comes around from everything that life puts him through. He’s strong, he's a fighter. Even more so than Levi could ever be. But nobody in this land can see it—nobody wants to give him credit for it. Levi will have to get back home and keep waiting for Erwin to make the next move. Maybe they’ll see each other again for Paradis, maybe—

Something covers the sun behind him. 

Erwin is wearing a huge coat and a big scarf that covers most of his face yet Levi can tell he’s smiling. He smiles with his eyes.

“You’re here,” he says. His nose is all red.

“I'm waiting for someone,” Levi tells him, leaning against the railing. “Selene.”

Erwin chuckles fondly, forming a cloud of hot air in front of him. “She’s the goddess of the Moon,” he says. 

Levi doesn't understand how Erwin knows all these things. Or what that is even supposed to mean.

“I’m surprised you take interest in fanmail,” Erwin adds after standing next to Levi with his hands in his jacket pockets.

“I don’t.”

Erwin looks at him, barely moving his neck under all those clothes. Levi can only see his eyes.

“Lara reads them,” he explains. “You wrote about my favourite song.”

“True, I did,” Erwin answers, adjusting the scarf around his lips. He’s not wearing gloves. “After Valerica, I was never able to find the letters you sent. But I noticed that the best way of writing without getting rid of things, without burning papers or hiding them, was sending letters to you. Some were more extensive than others. I wrote about that song before Vermin but the truth is that I was never able to listen to it again. I’m not sure the lyrics were right.”

Levi listens to Erwin’s voice thinking back to those times when he didn't want to hear him talk at all. As well as those times where he feels that Erwin's voice saved his life. If only Levi was as good with words as Erwin is, maybe he’d have something personal to share. 

Instead, he just says, “When are we back to training?”

“I don’t think they’ll allow us to train together anymore.”

“Bullshit, I barely learned how to hold a rifle.”

“If you marry, they will push the Paradis invasion,” Erwin says.

“They want their hero to die heroically.”

“I’m afraid they might kill you even if you survive, yes. Especially after Meyer’s disappearance, they are more afraid of you than ever.”

“Lara is the Warhammer,” Levi offers.

Erwin turns on his side, squinting.

“She cut herself with a letter opener,” Levi explains. “I wasn’t supposed to know.”

A clear smile grows under Erwin’s scarf as he nods.

“Are you coming to Paradis?” Levi asks. “If they launch this shit once and for all?”

“It’s likely Marley will aim to retrieve the Warriors residing in the area first. This will mean a silent invasion. Destroying their walls to call their attention.”

“That doesn't sound silent.”

“It will be for the citizens. They fear titans, they will not understand someone is planning such a thing. They don't know the rest of the world exists. If the Warriors were successful in collecting sufficient information, Zeke might just get rid of enough people before Marley sends an army. With him, you, the Warriors, and a few generals, it should be enough to start.”

“So you won't be coming.”

“We will not get a second chance on Paradis,” Erwin answers. “Better said, we will not get a third one.”

“If you have a plan, why the fuck are we talking about stupid songs?”

“When the time comes,” Erwin says. “Marley will prepare a ship just like the ones you’re familiar with. The process will be long but cargo will be delivered to the storage area within the last few days before setting off.”

“I don't give a fuck about that ship,” Levi spits out.

“I need to get into that cargo.”

It takes Levi a second to understand. Erwin wants to be smuggled into Paradis. It’s the stupidest thing he's ever come up with. If anyone finds out, Erwin's done for; he will not be coming back from that mistake, he's risking everything. The simple idea of watching as they inject Erwin with serum, of hearing Zeke’s scream, of being there when he is turned into a monster. It makes Levi feel sick. Erwin's an idiot, he’s mental.

“This is my last chance to go to Paradis, Levi,” Erwin says, as if he can taste the fear in Levi’s eyes. “Our last chance to come full circle.”

Chapter Text

Eighteen years ago

Zeke’s tired of running and laughing; it’s hard to breathe like this, his legs hurt and his chest burns. He tastes dirt when he brushes a hand across his face, but nothing stops him. He picks up the pace. Tobias Smith catches up to him, he’s holding Erwin on his other arm. They are both naked, screaming but not out of fear or anger. They are happy. 

Tobias takes them home and bathes them, he covers them with a blanket and reads them a book. He lends them his books, even though they constantly throw them on the floor. When it’s late enough, Tobias takes Zeke back home.

“Be safe, Grisha,” he says, before kissing Zeke’s head. “You too, little one.”

Zeke’s father smiles all the time, just as much as his mother. But he’s always busy, always in a hurry, always sweaty once he comes to pick Zeke up from his grandparents. He reads Zeke bedtime stories and kisses him goodnight. He tells him everything will be alright just as long as they take care of each other. 

Zeke misses running naked outside.

Sixteen years ago 

At the age of five, he is clever enough to understand that nothing they say in school is true, his father makes sure of that. He has also taught him not to tell anyone about this, not even his grandparents. Erwin knows about this too, but he lies, he tells Zeke he’s never heard of it and makes him feel stupid, he feels guilty for speaking up. He should know how to keep his mouth shut.

When Zeke’s family goes outside for a walk, people yell at them. A man kicks his mother until she ends up on the ground one day; his father has to grab her arm and drag her through the floor to save her. A man throws a bucket of water on him the next week, saying his job is to get rid of the filth. During New Year's, Zeke trips over the ground while staring at the fireworks in the sky and a policeman spits on him. It’s hard to sleep when he can still smell the stranger’s saliva on his hair, no matter how much his mother washes him.

“Always remember this, Zeke,” his father tells him at night, hugging him tight. “That’s what the outside world is like. If you don't like it, you’re the one who will have to change it.”

Fifteen years ago 

His father isn’t proud of him. 

Zeke’s weak, he isn’t clever enough, he isn’t strong enough. He will never be able to change the world that keeps his family prisoner. He will never be able to leave this place; he’s no hero.

Zeke falls to the ground for the seventh time that day; the rifle is too big, the backpack too heavy. This is not like running naked across the streets, this is dangerous and scary to him. His father doesn’t care, he wants Zeke to become a Warrior, he wants Zeke to save the Eldians and he’s disappointed to see his son will never be up to the challenge.

Tobias Smith doesn’t smile as much anymore, he’s not as appreciative of Zeke as he used to be. He’s disappointed as well, Zeke knows, even if he doesn’t say it. Besides, Erwin is great at everything; he’s smarter, he’s faster, he’s stronger. Tobias has nothing to be scared about.

Ksaver is the only person who has ever told Zeke he’s a decent person. He’s in possession of the Beast Titan and likes to play catch. He’s as useless at war as Zeke would be, and his titan is a goat that holds no purpose. It’s not strong and it’s not fast. Zeke thinks he could aspire to that at least. Ksaver tells him it’s possible.

Fourteen years ago

It’s too late by the time Zeke is pointing his finger at his parents, telling the police they are Eldia Restorationists. There’s fear tugging the back of his throat as he holds in his tears. They don’t understand why Zeke’s doing this, but he has no other choice. He cannot follow their dreams, he cannot keep up to their expectations. They put a duty on him that was not his to begin with, never thinking about what he wanted. It’s all about what they want, and they want Zeke to save the world, but it’s people like them who destroyed it first. His father has no plans for redemption, for atonement. He wants to turn this world of suffering into hell, he wants to fight blood with blood.

Ksaver will protect him the best, just like his grandparents always did. They will not fill his mind with ideas that are not his. They will not infect him with suffering that was never his fault. Eldians have already done enough harm to themselves and the world. Zeke will not add to that, Zeke will put an end to it.

Five years ago

“Nobody ever heard about the Owl again,” Tobias says. “He was a traitor to this nation, but the last ray of hope for the Eldians. I can only assume he was taken to heaven, along with your father.” It doesn’t seem like he holds a drop of guilt. “But what strikes me the most is that the ship that sailed to Paradis that day never returned.”

Zeke doesn’t trust Tobias Smith anymore. He’s just like how Grisha used to be. He pollutes his mind just like he pollutes Erwin’s.

“Your father believed in you, he wanted you to save everyone. You and Erwin will do it.”

Zeke listens to Tobias but remembers Pieck inside a box with holes. That’s how the shifter’s training goes for her; she needs to learn and adjust her body because her titan is a quadruped. Her successors could not take the heat but she’s stronger than them. Zeke knows it’s only time for him to be tortured in a similar fashion. 

So what does Tobias Smith know? Erwin is in Paradis trying to get an Ackerman. He left without even telling Zeke his plans. If he doesn’t come back, Marley might just create an Ackerman themselves. If Erwin doesn’t return, then he will be the lucky bastard who was saved from this hell.

“Listen to me, Zeke,” Tobias says. “Your father’s fate will follow me one day. If that day ever comes, you must save Erwin from it. Save yourself. I'm disposable.”

Four years ago

Zeke’s naked, breathing in the rotten flesh of the titan husk he left behind. His vision is blurry as he picks up Ksaver’s glasses and puts them on. His last words were hopeful, more hopeful than Zeke ever heard from his birth family. He was proud to see Zeke inheriting his titan.

He gets no rest the first week. He can’t have a meal unless he manages to turn into a titan of his own will. In the meantime, they electro-shock him and punch him. They cut his fingers and legs. Every shifter goes through this; the doctors force it out of them. 

The doctors make sure to keep him posted; Zeke has no recollection of most of the things he does, but he’s told how much he has progressed. His first transformation was a tall ape, hairy and violent, but his arms never developed. They had to throw explosives to its nape to take Zeke out of it. It’s a miracle that he survived, they say. 

An ape. He’s embarrassed. Ksaver was a goat and he is an ape. What’s a monkey going to be helpful for in war? How is that going to make him strong? How will he get a ticket to Paradis like this? He sobs every night, not because it hurts, but because he’s a loser. If he doesn’t have anything to prove, to get the officers excited, he will have to remain in Marley playing catch against a wall, waiting for the next warrior to eat him alive.

The doctor says Zeke didn't do any better the second time, he just grew a giant head and couldn't stand up. The ape was bigger the third time, and bigger yet after that, but he didn’t have any control over it, nor did anyone around him. They say he killed a guard. Something inside him can feel the bones breaking inside his fist.

It’s only after the third week that Zeke manages to understand what he’s doing with his body. He can feel the air ionizing his blood as it drips from his fingers; the stronger it is, the easier it gets to surrender and let the Beast come out. He grows taller than ever, his eyesight sharper; he feels warm and at ease, finally. He feels strong.

Once he’s finally allowed to return to HQ, he goes back to his old dorms, but can’t manage to sleep. He dreams nonstop. He dreams about running across a field and swimming in the ocean, about flying above forests and deserts. He doesn't understand why everything is so familiar to him when he’s never seen those scenarios before. He sees himself standing tall surrounded by men who follow his orders; he screams and they run. They do as he says without him even saying so. 

It’s a battle cry, a chant; he’s the chosen one, the king, son of royal blood.

The very next morning, he wakes up with a revelation. 

The scientist tests it out immediately and everything Zeke has dreamt about comes true; he can command pure titans and bend them to his will, they will start running if he says so and they will stop moving whenever he pleases. They will attack each other too. It’s a novelty, never seen before, never thought before, and Zeke can see the excitement and greed in the scientist's eyes, in his general. The first boy to make something good out of the Beast titan. 

He will be part of this war, part of this future. He’s finally someone.

As much as Zeke has enjoyed the Ackerman’s myth, he’s sure Erwin’s only wasting his time on the other side of the ocean. He’s not going after that clan of his own volition. He wants to make Tobias Smith proud, he was infected by his ideas. He and Tobias are trying to read what's beyond Ymir’s curse, but their intelligence puts them at constant risk. Whatever turns Eldians into titans is not what’s important now. What’s important is how to put an end to this curse. 

Zeke doesn’t have Ksaver next to him anymore, he only has his memories. Thus, he has set his ideas straight. He will put an end to this curse himself, he will not pair with Smith’s ideas to keep this going. The war will never end, the hate will persevere. Eldians need to pay for what they did thousands of years ago. The destruction and suffering they’ve put everyone through. Zeke knows just how to do that but cannot say a word. The Smiths will have to be his scapegoats and once the time comes, once it’s Zeke's opportunity to step on Paradis, he will seize the Eldian fate. 

Last year

It’s no surprise to him that even here in Hizuru, he isn't safe from Marleyan police. It’s no surprise to be called out for questioning either. But he’s tired. He has proven his loyalty to the nation time and again. That doesn’t matter in the face of a torturer, though, they just enjoy watching him in pain. And the best thing about shifters is that you can torture them endlessly. Zeke’s nails have grown out three times already. His legs twice. His left eye once.

He’s been stripped naked and kicked to the ground before being tied to this chair to get parts of his body ripped off. The officer torturing him hasn’t asked a single question but Zeke knows what’s coming. He’s left alone long enough to regenerate all parts of his body so that his legs can be nailed to the chair. 

The officer comes back with a hammer and makes sure Zeke can see everything unfold. He sets the nail right on top of Zeke’s knee and hits the head. His first reaction is to scream and jump but when the officer hits the nail a second time, Zeke can feel it hit a nerve, shooting pain from his knee right across his spine and to his head; he screams louder. The third hit cracks cartilage and skin, digging right through him and meeting the wood. The pressure of his leg against the chair isn’t something he was expecting; he has never been subjected to something like this during his endurance training. The officer hammers a nail on his other knee and Zeke can hear it scraping his bones even above the noises that come out of his mouth. The second nail hits the wood until he’s held on tight and the officer wraps a bag around his face. Despite the dizziness and pain, Zeke can feel the blood tickling his leg as it runs down his ankle; he listens to somebody new stepping into the room, with different footsteps and a different weight to them.

“Son of traitors,” a voice comes. “Now shifter and Captain. We’ve been too generous with you.” 

Zeke can’t make out who that is, he’s almost sure he doesn’t know him. He shouldn’t. Nobody knows those who work in the shadows of the military. 

“Grisha Yeager,” the torturer says. “Not a collaborator but the leader of one of the best-hidden enemy resistances in the country. And we found him thanks to you.” 

The man snaps his fingers and they remove Zeke’s bag from his head; there’s a blinding light in front of him; the air is stale and he is already running out of breath so he takes it in desperately, feeling his leg twitching right there where the nail hit the nerve.

“How did you know about your father’s operation?” the torturer asks.

“He would hold meetings in my house while I was with my grandparents,” Zeke explains, trying to blink the tears away from his eyes. “Someone came one night while I was in bed, desperately asking to talk to my father.” His voice comes out raspy, pitiful. But his cock is out in the open and he’s sitting in his piss; there’s nothing to be proud about. “He told my father they needed to change the place where they met because the police were being suspicious.”

“Your work for our nation has been outstanding despite being born in such precarious conditions.”

“I am happy to provide for my motherland,” Zeke manages, blinking heavily.

“You might know, then, why you are here, soldier.”

Zeke doesn’t; he nods nonetheless.

“Word on the street is that this little revolutionary group is not dead. Even after The Owl went missing, even after sending your father’s group to heaven. Someone is keeping this resistance alive. But we can’t seem to find them.”

Zeke nods again and cracks his jaw, he can feel some energy coming back to his blood. “They say Eldians scatter like cockroaches when the lights come on,” he quips.

The torturer chuckles. “You truly are disgusting creatures,” he answers. “But I surely don’t hate the cockroaches in my kitchen as much as I do you,” he adds, putting pressure on the nails that hold Zeke’s knees to the chair.

He lets out a hollow scream, clenching his teeth as the officer moves the steel nails, ripping his skin, his muscles, hearing as though that nerve is making a high-pitched sound right on his temple. He can feel his legs being ripped apart, he can feel the nail shooting spikes up his bones and he gargles on his own spit as he sobs uncontrollably, unable to ask them to stop and afraid to do so as well.

“It’s your only option,” Ksaver told him over ten years ago. “If you show your loyalty to Marley by turning your parents into the authorities, you and your grandparents should be safe.” 

“Shut up!” the torturer exclaims, letting go of the nails. “You cry like a woman in childbirth, it’s disgusting,” he groans. “I’m sick and tired of your people trying to play smart. You’ve brought nothing but violence into this world and you just keep trying to do it over and over again.”

Zeke nods, trying to control his breath and tears. He swallows, looking down at the floor. No matter how many times he’s been through this, it hurts like the first one. They lie when they say you get used to pain; at least, Zeke hasn’t managed to do so.

“We know this operation is happening behind our backs,” the torturer says. “And we know it’s related to your traitor father. This can be very easy for you if you cooperate,” he adds. “I need a name.”

This is no different from what happened to his parents, Zeke knows. He can do it again. All he has to do is point his finger in the right direction and save himself.

“Tobias Smith,” he answers.

Now - Mission to retrieve the Warriors and the Founder

This is the third time today Zeke had to go to the bathroom, retching on his way. The swaying of the ship is unbearable. He’s nervous too, he hasn't felt like this since he was about to be injected with titan serum to devour his father. Ksaver prepared him for this, it’s everything he’s been training for. Erwin tried to take that away from him, visiting this island first before anyone else, but now he was left behind to suck on Magath’s ass to take notes for him.

“Clean up after yourself,” Levi demands, perched against the wall. “I don't want to clean your vomit tonight,” he adds before leaving.

Something broke between them after Hizuru, but neither has acknowledged it.

It was fun at one point, the first stages of their… friendship? Relationship? Levi was rude and tough and rough, and fun; everything Zeke enjoyed from him, and better yet, Levi was with him . He would be by his side. He would keep Zeke warm at night. 

Levi’s so damn strong, everything Zeke ever dreamed an Ackerman would be and he got him all for himself as they fought together, they talked, they kissed. Zeke touched him and made him moan, he made him mad too. And it worked. They would insult each other and fuck, they would bite each other’s lips until they bled and drink tea after. It felt good thinking he had Levi’s attention, Levi’s body, even Levi’s rage. 

Zeke was stupid enough to keep that up, proud to have Levi for himself when he wasn’t really there.

In spite of it all, Zeke now can see that he was nothing but Levi’s plaything for when he was bored. The sad truth, Zeke has come to realise, is that they were never intimate. No matter how much they fucked, no matter how much of Levi’s come he would swallow. Levi was never his. He was never with him; just by him. 

When Zeke found all of the letters Levi wrote for Erwin back in Valerica, the pieces of the puzzle finally made sense; I want him and he wants Erwin. Rage got the best of him. He might have  felt as sick as he feels today. And then he realised that Levi didn’t even want to visit his room that night in Hizuru. And that he must do with Erwin everything they don't do. He can picture Levi kissing Erwin, going down on Erwin, opening his legs for him, taking his come without the slightest twitch on his face. Erwin might be allowed to make him filthy.

It’s sickening; it makes Zeke physically ill, more so than this ship. He’s suffered, he’s lived through fucked up shit Erwin can’t even fathom, yet he’s not the one who gets to have Levi for himself, entirely, all devoted to him. Erwin does. 

As days go by on the high seas, Levi’s demeanour doesn't change; they see each other during breakfast, lunch and dinner. They are separated during their daily tasks because Zeke does not enjoy cleaning the bathrooms as much as Levi does. When they are together, Levi keeps quiet and listens to whatever Zeke has to say. He gets mad when Zeke smokes, he gets mad because of how Zeke’s hair and beard look. It could almost feel normal if only it was as playful as it used to be. If Levi would smirk at him after insulting his face, after threatening to hurt him. But he doesn’t. And he doesn’t come for him at night to share his bed, or in the afternoons for tea.

“Where are you going?” Mike asks. He’s always here, in this damn hall. He’s always cleaning, he’s always tending these rooms. Is he Levi’s new best friend? Just like Mike and Erwin were back then? Is Levi fucking him too?

Zeke rolls his eyes. “Is there a part of the ship I’m not allowed to go to?”

“The ones that I’m cleaning, if possible,” Mike answers, going back to his duty. 

“Excited to be back to the island?”

Mike cocks a brow. “Don’t know, are you?”

“I’ve never been there before.”

“Erwin should be here,” Mike says, almost purposely rubbing salt in the wound.

“Levi and Wald are here,” Zeke tells him. “One was born there and the other is your best friend,” he adds but he knows they haven’t been friends since Paradis specifically.

“Yeah,” Mike answers, nodding. “Weird you don't want your best friend here too.”

Zeke dismisses Mike with a gesture of his hand and walks away. He doesn’t have time for his smart ass. He doesn’t have time for any of this. He’s closer and closer to fulfilling his father’s dreams, Ksaver will be proud of him, unlike Grisha. This is the last stretch, the longest last stretch; Zeke still has nine years in his titan lifespan and he will make them count. He just wishes he had Levi’s undeniable devotion and company. They could make it on their own.

Zeke punches the desk in his room until his knuckles bleed.

“Threw up over the board that time,” Levi says, reminiscing to when he traveled by ship for the first time. He's tending to his nails, filing them delicately after cutting them patiently. So patiently that it’s getting on Zeke's nerves.

“I remember reading about that. The crew jumped you until you puked your lunch.” Zeke craves a cigarette but he's running out already. He would like to have something to do on his desk other than staring at Levi's hands.

“I don't remember shit. I think they did that after.”

“Erwin's report might have been wrong,” Zeke says, daring to put that name out there just to see Levi tense up. He thinks he hides that so well but Zeke can read him like a book.

“I didn't tell him shit.”

“You eventually told him plenty, I'm sure.”

Levi doesn't answer; instead, he gets up and walks to the mirror above the sink to groom himself. He doesn't need much to look good, he's naturally handsome. But Zeke hasn't touched him in a year so that might be why he just can't stop staring at every part of his body. The way his delicate fingers move to brush his silky dark hair. The way his ass stands out when he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. How tiny his waist looks under that belt.

Zeke takes off his glasses and rests them on the desk, rubbing his eyes. The ship has already slowed down. They will arrive to Paradis by morning so they will have to unload the cargo and make up camp as soon as the sunlight comes up. He's finally going to be fully responsible for his team, a captain from head to toe. Pieck will answer to him; if they find the Warriors, they will answer to him too. Levi will have to follow his command.

Levi walks to Zeke's bed and sits down before untying his boots. It might just be the first time in a year Zeke sees him on his bed.

“What are you doing?” He asks.

“Get naked.”

“Always so charming. Does the prospect of arriving get you like this? Or are you… desperate again?” Zeke teases.

“Stop fucking talking.”

“You're making this even hotter than it needs to be,” Zeke says, sitting by Levi's side. He puts a hand on his thigh and looks at him, at how his forehead wrinkles because of how much he frowns and at how soft and pink his thin lips look.

Levi pushes Zeke's face away. “Not fucking kissing you,” he says, getting on Zeke's nerves quicker than anticipated.

So he gets up and slaps Levi across the face, barely moving him from his place. It's ridiculous to see Levi take a punch like that; he could've easily dodged it.

“You wanna play rough?” Levi asks, getting up to throw a punch right into Zeke's stomach, making him flinch, almost retch.

Zeke him against the wall, then he throws a punch right on Levi's nose. It hurts like hell for him but Levi isn't complaining. Instead, he pushes Zeke to the bed, and once he's locked under his body, Levi strangles him. Zeke can see Levi's nose bleeding before his eyesight gets blurry; he might just die if it isn’t  for his brain cells' constant regeneration. Marley has already tried asphyxiation on him and it doesn't work, but he wouldn't want to go through it again. So now he throws a punch that hits Levi's head, tumbling him to the side.

“So… fucking tired of you,” Zeke croaks. He coughs. “You don't want me,” he says, undoing Levi's pants to pull them down. 

 Levi lets him; maybe he hates himself, maybe that's the only reason they were able to be together, and it's just so much more infuriating. 

“You don’t give a fuck about me!” Zeke snarls, jumping on Levi.

They struggle, trying to get their hands away from each other until Zeke gets a hold of Levi’s face. So small, so easy to fit in his grip. If I slip my thumb into his mouth, he will bite it off. Levi sticks his tongue out, inviting him into that dangerous adventure and Zeke caresses it, he moves his thumb to Levi’s upper lip, playing with the blood that still drips and feeds it to him. 

“You’re so fucking miserable,” Zeke says, building thick saliva before spiting on his free hand. “None of us gets what we want.” He slowly massages Levi’s ass, watching him squirm. He’d like this rougher, he always does. He wants to get this over with fast. “Is that why get along s—”

Levi knees Zeke’s ribs suddenly, taking him out of his axis, but he subdues the stinging pain on his side by digging his fingers forcefully into Levi's ass. There’s not going to be much preparation, Zeke will have to pass on it for now, so he just pulls his cock out to make sure Levi can’t walk away from this untouched.

He groans when he’s inside. He missed this so fucking much. Levi’s tight and hot and strong, wrapping his legs around Zeke’s waist and yanking his hair. It’s familiar, it feels natural. He goes for Levi’s lips but Levi moves his face. So stubborn, so annoying as always. 

“Come on, Levi,” Zeke breathes out, holding his face before licking right across his cheek. “You could beat the shit out of me until I breathe in blood,” he says. “You could rip my arms off, yeah—But you're letting me fuck you, ah—” 

He thrusts with every breath. He smells the flowers in Levi’s hair. He tastes them on his tongue. Levi always opens his legs for him, yet he never fully gives Zeke what he wants; so he’s taking it tonight. He holds Levi’s face strongly and licks into his mouth even if it could mean losing his tongue. Levi lets him this time though, digging his nails on Zeke’s back and finally, they taste each other after years. 

He sucks Levi’s lips, licks them until he swallows iron, he moans into Levi's mouth and cherishes him. It takes him so close to his climax that he wonders if he should slow down. Just tasting Levi like this might just make him explode. He wants to breathe Levi’s air and drink his spit. He wants to fill him up and keep fucking him still.

Levi bites. He takes a big chunk of Zeke’s lower lip between his teeth and doesn't let go, making him scream, squirm. If he even slightly moves away, Levi will rip his lip completely off; All Zeke can do is punch Levi’s chest and ribs until he lets go. Zeke’s still inside him as they stare at each other panting. The blood that runs from his lips drips on Levi’s face and vaporises. 

He’s such a good fuck. Zeke’s never fathomed the idea of being with someone like Levi; no woman could hold a candle to him. And even though he’s the first and only guy Zeke ever fucked, he’s sure no other man could match him either. The way he moves his hips when he’s on top, how strong his legs are, his endurance, his dexterity. He could fuck anyone to exhaustion. He’s fucked Zeke to sleep so many times.

He thrusts again to get back at it; his lip fully healed. Levi’s tiny waist fits perfectly between his hands as he kneels on the bed to get a better rhythm. He can keep it up like this, he might just last as long as Levi always wants him to. If only he could prove to Levi that he’s strong too, that he can keep up with him, that everything Levi needs to learn, he can learn from Zeke. If he could just conquer this perfect Ackerman for himself and quell Levi’s compulsions.

Zeke falls again on top of Levi; the heat of their bodies makes it almost unbearable to bear, they are sweating and Levi's hiding his moans behind groans. Zeke can't help but be loud in moments like these.

“Ah—Levi, fuck. I love you like this, all mine.”

“Not- fucking yours,” Levi snarls, holding Zeke's waist, helping the rhythm.

“You are,” Zeke counters. “Even if you want him .” 

The mere mention makes Levi hesitate, as usual, he can't help it and it's the worst. It's so obvious Erwin's always on his mind.

“You can't have him!” Zeke exclaims, thrusting harder, finally making Levi moan properly. “He's not here. I'm here,” he hisses.

“Fuck—no!” Levi says, trying to move him away but Zeke refuses. “Don't fucking come!”

“You're taking it all!” Zeke growls and comes right after that, the thought of finally possessing Levi, of winning him over, of having him for himself is exactly what he needs to end this night. He drops on top of Levi as his body twitches, getting as deep as possible until he has nothing else to give and gets dizzy, feeling like a jellied salad.

Levi swiftly moves him over and gets on top. He reaches for something before holding Zeke's hands. Once he manages to get everything on focus, he understands Levi's using his belt to tie him to the bedpost.

“Is this because I came before you?” Zeke quips, managing a tired smirk.

Levi seems insatiable tonight, but having him on top hurts. It's uncomfortable. Zeke's cock is too sensitive, he can feel every muscle of Levi's ass around him. He twitches his hips, he sobs and he begs, but Levi wraps his hands around his neck. 

“You're such a big man,” Levi says through gritted teeth. “Can you take one more?”

“Levi, please—ah.” Zeke throws his legs around trying to set himself free, but it's impossible.

If he gets any louder, everyone on the ship will hear, but it's just too much and Levi doesn't stop. He moves his hips, jumping rapidly, choking Zeke, and scratching his skin. He keeps at it without a moment of rest and when he finally accomplishes his goal, Zeke lets out a pitiful howl. It hurts to climax this time, even if it feels good; it's glorious and torturous. Probably his favourite type of torture, the type Levi dedicates only to him.

By the time his cock stops twitching, his eyes close on their own as he feels Levi's body falling on top of him. Sleeping like this feels like a dream. He's got everything he needs. Every gear in his plan running smoothly. Levi's all his, and Paradis is only hours away.

Zeke is not sure what's the first thing he notices, the cold floor or the loud clanking sounds of the ship. When he wakes up, all the furniture in his bedroom is upside down just as much as he is. He's still tied to the bed and needs to kneel to bite the leather belt out of its knot. Damn Levi knows how to tie someone up; they should’ve made use of that skill sooner. 

The screaming of soldiers through the hallways put him on alert. He can't believe the ship hit something. Shouldn't we be on the island by now?

Pieck storms into his room as soon as he manages to get up and he just stands there.

“Knock next time, will ya?”

“Had your little fun with Levi last night?” She asks, panting, frowning. She would usually have something to say about Zeke's nakedness, but this time she remains impassive.

Zeke huffs a laugh. “What are you talking about?”

“He fucked you,” she says.

“He did not.”

“He fucked you and all of us along with you. He killed Gerst and Pavlov. He killed the fucking captain and made a run for it while we were asleep!”

Zeke's stomach is a pit, empty and hungry. The treason, the lies. Levi truly fucked him, in more than one way. Because he was never interested in visiting his room, in listening to his stories. He never wanted to lie on Zeke's bed. He pretended, giving Zeke everything he wanted just to laugh in his face. What's worse is that Levi's not smart enough to stand up against Marley; he's not stupid enough to crash the goddamn ship either. This is Erwin's doing. Fuck him. Zeke ponders for only a second why Erwin would be giving orders from the other side of the ocean; what type of ideas he planted in Levi's little mind? But no, that's not it.

“Erwin's here,” he tells Pieck, walking past her.

He walks through the corridors of the ship and he finds the soldiers trying to unlock doors, picking up corpses from the floor; he sees Wald ordering people around, yelling.

The morning is cold against his skin as he steps outside, onto the deck, naked. Every cell in his body is boiling; he can't believe they took him for a fool like this. He can't understand how much they fucked him up. They ruined everything. 

But now that he's here, he can feel it, flowing in his blood. He can feel all of those Eldians that have been injected with serum from his own spinal fluid. Just like on the battlefield, he can sense every titan that's connected to him.

 Zeke stares at the island and breathes in, ready to give all of his creations an order; he won't abide by this. He can't, he will never forgive Erwin for ruining his life for the second time.

“Chase them down!” He orders desperately, feeling his throat burn. “Attack!” He screams as the rumbling of titans listening to his command ripples his skin. “ Rip his head off !”

Those two will be dead before they even make it to the walls.

Chapter Text

The morning sun is blinding and the cold air dries Erwin’s throat. His chest is pumping, his arms and legs are on fire, his stomach hurts. But he follows Levi, imitating his movements without missing a beat. Titans are running behind them as they swish through the woods, jumping from tree to tree. The updated ODM gear is faster and smoother, so moving across the forests feels very different from what it felt five years ago.

Levi takes the lead, slashing titan napes and legs with his katana as Erwin shoots to blind them,  but they are being overwhelmed. Zeke’s spinal fluid has been used for too long and it seems all of the titans on the island are under his command now. Erwin was expecting it but he doesn't know how long they can last. He will have to keep up with Levi if he wants to live, he will have to become inhuman.

Trees are tall on this island, taller than anything Erwin has ever seen. He suggests Levi reach the top of the tallest one to take a breather. They need to regroup, think this over, get back in sync.

“This is a bad idea,” Levi says. “If enough of those creatures gather under us they might start climbing.”

Erwin frowns. He's never seen a titan climb; but he shouldn’t second guess Levi, he's seen them up close more often than not.

“We need to keep moving away from the sun,” Erwin explains, pointing. “If we can't outrun the titans, there's no need to circle around the walls. We might be able to make it to Maria before midnight.”

“Sure fucking hope so,” Levi answers. “That's all the gas we have.”

“We can't outrun them, but we can outsmart them. They are after me,” Erwin points out.

“What?”

They look down at the short, tall, and deformed titans lifting their hands up to Erwin, eyes focused, mouths drooling. “They stare at me, they follow my every movement,” he says. “Blinding them is not working; something else is driving them.”

“Zeke,” Levi mutters.

“I don’t know how his scream works, but he’s aiming the titans at me. Even if you run out of here right now, they will not follow you.”

“That’s easy then, stay up here, and I’ll chop them to pieces.”

“I’m not willing to gamble with your life,” Erwin tells Levi, looking right at him. “I’ll take the lead.”

“No fucking way, you will smash your face against a tree first chance you get.”

Erwin huffs a laugh. “Have a little faith, Levi.”

“Stop fucking smiling,” Levi answers, looking away, twitching his lips.

“I will sprint ahead and you can take them down as we go. If more titans join the party, we will need to figure out another way. There won’t be any more trees to save us from this. Once we’re past the forest; it’s run or bust.”

“Fine, fuck!” Levi exclaims, looking down. “Don’t look behind you, ok? Don’t stop.”

Erwin nods curtly and shoots his grapple, leading the way.

Six hours ago

The ship echoes in the night as the water splashes around it. The cargo room is humid and cold; Erwin can barely breathe. He's hugging his legs, sitting against a crate, listening to his growling stomach. He's sure the swaying is worse down here, and he would much rather be doing deck duty than killing rats to avoid being bitten. But he can't be seen, everyone in Marley should think he's dead by now. Once he disembarks on the island, he will become the country's most wanted man. If Eldians are already born evil and traitors, Erwin will only deepen that belief. Thousands will suffer because of him, everyone who ever talked to him will be tortured. They will go through the same pain his father did. Maybe worse. 

Erwin has avoided thinking about it too much, but being down here only makes the memories worse, the regrets. He got his father killed, and he wasn't even there to see him one last time. When Erwin returned home from Hizuru, his house was a mess. The police had kicked the door open, thrown every bookcase to the floor, broke chairs and picture frames. There was a trail of blood that led from his father's bedroom. Erwin keeps picturing the police taking him in the middle of the night, punching him to bits before putting cuffs on him. They surely didn't give any explanations, they didn't ask any questions. They just did what they do best: act on violence. 

His father died in agony, and it's all Erwin's fault.

The echo of footsteps down the hallway startle Erwin. He crawls in the usual crate and peeks through a hole, waiting for his signal as the door opens.

“Erwin,” Levi's voice comes. “It's done, let's go,” he says.

Erwin stands up and finds Levi agitated, his hand and clothes covered in blood, some splattered across his face. It’s the type that doesn't evaporate in the air. Someone punched his nose too. It would be stupid to ask, he did what had to be done, what Erwin expected of him.

“The hallways are clear,” Levi tells him. “Guards are down. Pilot and captain too.”

Erwin gulps, feeling his stomach churn. He's more excited than he anticipated. Levi's marvellous, too good for Marley, too good for Erwin. He wishes he had a clean handkerchief to wipe his face, but time is of the essence. 

They have prepared for this and inside one of these crates there are two ODM gears ready for them—Erwin sabotaged the rest—, a bag of food—Erwin had to defend it from the rats—, and weapons—Erwin can’t use a blade yet but Levi brought his katana.

It’s hard to get used to the light of the hallways after being in the cargo room for so long. Erwin can already smell the fresh air coming from upstairs, the salt water. They tiptoe passed the first guard; his body is sitting against the wall, blood dripping down his chest. The next corpse is not too far away but Erwin avoids staring. Levi followed Erwin’s plan to the letter, taking down the guards and officers after dealing with Zeke. Taking down Zeke is dangerous though, spilling any of his blood could unleash the beast, ruining everything they had planned. There’s no point in asking how he managed to keep Zeke away, Erwin doesn't want to know. 

Without a pilot, there’s no one to stop the ship from crashing against the island; without the officers, there’s nobody to give orders in the morning. So Erwin and Levi make their way to the deck quietly, they speak to each other with just their eyes, they say when to walk and when to stop and once they are next to the railing they stare at the island. Paradis is finally here, under the moonlight. 

It won’t be too long until this ship wrecks, it should already be slowing down so Erwin grabs Levi’s arms and nods towards a boat. They will have to row hard and fast to avoid the ship suctioning them under, but the momentum should also help. Erwin’s been going over this every day, ever since he set everything in motion. He’s been focused on this his whole life and has never even thought about taking a step back. Once they reach the island and the ship crashes, he will know for sure that Levi has never thought about taking a step back either.

The night is quiet as ever, chilly and eerie. They slowly rope the boat down and throw their equipment in it before jumping in. Levi cuts the remaining ropes and pushes, forcing them away as Erwin rows. Then Levi joins him. 

Neither of them talks, neither of them look back. They stare at the island and row. They barely make it far away until Erwin’s arms start burning. No matter how much Levi tried to bring food down to him, it was not possible to get away with it for long. Had Levi gone down there every night, they would’ve been found out. Had Levi not been patient and risked it all, they would’ve never made it here. Erwin has pushed him to the brink of death too many times for selfish reasons, yet Levi keeps fighting blindly.

“Take a break, Erwin,” Levi says after a while. “There's water and fruit in the bag.” He keeps rowing, looking ahead.

“We can't stop now.”

“No point in rowing to exhaustion. We need to run as soon as we set foot on the island. You need energy.”

Erwin decides not to argue about this and pulls the oars back into the boat. The backpack is full and Erwin's stomach grumbles. There are two canteens, apples, bananas, and sandwiches. He starts with some fruit and water, having trouble getting it down. 

“I never watched the island from afar,” Levi points out. “It looks bigger than I thought.”

“It's not as big as Marley, I suppose. But it's untouched… and therefore wanted.”

Levi looks over his shoulder, frowning. “You Marleyans and untouched virgins.”

Erwin can't help the smile on his face. He remembers how many times this subject came up when they met and how funny Isabel's reaction was. The smile fades away again as soon as he realises he has forgotten what Isabel looked like. Does Levi remember her face daily? Would coming back to Paradis haunt his memories? 

Erwin takes a bite of the sandwich and the salt of the ham makes his mouth water. But before he can enjoy it, the ship makes a loud crunching noise. It's hit the shore head-on. A large wave swirls around it before it finally reaches the pier, slamming into the big wall they drop Eldians from. Erwin puts the food back, picks up the oars, and rows. They are too far away from the island still.

“We have time,” Levi says agitated, looking ahead. “I made sure. But when Zeke finds out, he's gonna send his titans after us.”

Erwin knows this, he was sure of it. Getting rid of Zeke is not going to be easy, he's their biggest threat. He's been a threat since day one.

Now

Second wind hits him, and it feels as though this might never end. He doesn’t know how long they’ve been on the run but the sun is burning bright above them, and yet it’s cold under the leaves of the trees. 

They can’t be too far but there’s no way to know, not until they make it to the other side of the forest. They’ve gotten rid of most of their Marleyan uniforms, keeping just the boots, pants and shirts. Anything else is unnecessary weight and will reduce their mobility, both on the ground and in the air. 

Levi keeps taking down titans one by one, sometimes two at a time. Erwin avoids looking behind so he doesn’t break his neck hitting a a tree branch. He is getting better. It might just be the upgrades, but Levi’s advice has helped too. Erwin gets as compact as he can and shoots his grapple while leaning forward, approaching his maximum speed. The physical toll is overwhelming but Erwin has grown stronger and more perseverant. He’s not the boy who came to this island years ago. He’s come too far to doubt himself, he’s done too much, he’s lost everything. He won’t go down without knowing the truth about this world.

Erwin circles around a tree, making titans trample after him, and manages to shoot some legs. From the corner of his eye, he spots Levi. He’s a speck of dust moving at the speed of light, and the vapour coming out of him makes him look like he’s burning.

They circumvent a clearing and it's obvious how many titans are at their back. They won't be able to get rid of all of them, they won't be able to run across the ground. The more time they take, the easier it will be for the soldiers at the beach to organise a chase. Levi has only managed to ruin a few tires, but destroying the gas tanks was too much of a dead giveaway.

“Erwin, look out!” Levi exclaims but Erwin can't pivot fast enough and his arm is tangled against a branch. 

He twirls in the air and manages to shoot a grapple to avoid falling onto the ground. Two tall titans surge towards him, slapping the tree and making it tremble, but Levi deals with them in the blink of an eye and then follows Erwin. 

“Are you alright?” He asks, hair sticking to his forehead, blood steaming off his clothes. There are titan marks under his eyes. He's pushing himself.

“Twisted my arm a bit,” Erwin answers, trying not to stare because Levi doesn't appreciate it. “Don't worry about it.”

“I have nothing to do here on my own, Erwin. Fuck!” He snarls, fisting Erwin's shirt at the front. “If you die, they will blow this island to pieces and make me kill everyone here! Can you stop acting like this is a fucking playground?”

“I'm not playing, Levi,” Erwin answers sternly. He knows damn well what's at stake. He won't falter now.

Erwin holds Levi's hand in his own, making him lose his grip. There's sweat on his palm, calloused fingertips, dirty nails. Levi would probably kill for a shower right now and Erwin wonders how long it will be until he gets one. They can't make a stop at a lake right now, they can't eat, they can't rest. They will have to hunt for food once they get inside the walls, get a job. Erwin will have to start talking to people again until he finds what he needs. And they won't have enough time either. No matter how low on men they left at the ship at the beach, reinforcements will come. Erwin will also have to deal with the Warriors that live in Paradis already.

“We have the upper hand,” he tells Levi, without letting go of his hand. “Marley can't attack other countries without you and Zeke. Hizuru will cut any contact with them if you're not involved. But Zeke can still attack Paradis if given enough time,” he explains. “We will make it to those walls first.”

Levi nods curtly and retrieves his hand, looking down. “Zeke should think we're dead by now.”

Erwin shakes his head. “He knows you too well.”

“He doesn't think I'm strong enough.”

“He does,” Erwin says. “He's too scared to accept it. You're everything he always wanted.” He could never accept not having you.

“I fucking hate him. I will rip him to fucking pieces as soon as I can,” Levi says through gritted teeth. “You have my word.”

As much as Erwin would like to know more about that, they don't have the privilege to sit around and chat, so they keep going.

They get back into rhythm slowly, Erwin slashes a titan down as he moves to another three. Levi takes down four in the same amount of time. They down every tall titan around them and below, there are still the fat, slow titans running and falling behind. Still, two more titans come at full speed on four legs, they are galloping. Erwin has never seen something like this, but apparently Levi has. He knows how to deal with them, even while tired, and he tells Erwin to lure them away before slicing their legs off. Erwin uses the opportunity to slice their napes off before they regenerate.

The end of the forest is visible now. But no matter how slow titans are, they won't be able to outrun them. Still, finally seeing the walls takes Erwin's breath away. They look different somehow, the accomplishment feels different too. There's also a hole at the bottom, Erwin's sure. Even from this distance, he can tell the wall has been breached.

Without losing any more time, they exit the forest, grappling the expanse of ground in front of them. They use the momentum to fly across the grass and get further away. Erwin feels as though he's about to hit his face on the ground but manages to keep steady.

“Don't look back!” Levi's voice comes. “Don't stop!”

The limp body of a titan falls flat next to Erwin as he runs. He keeps his breathing steady, his arms moving. He never had trouble running, he always excelled in military training. He always knew it'd come in handy to be able to run away from the same people who were preparing him. 

The distance between them and the wall seems to lengthen but listening to Levi fighting every step of the way encourages Erwin to keep moving forward. He jumps over an arm that tries to catch him. A head rolls in front of him and he dodges it. More titans are arriving from the South, still far away but if they don't make their way up the walls soon, the chances of survival will be zero.

Erwin focuses his eyes on the ground, on the rect line he needs to follow to reach his objective; he keeps his knees high on every step, trying to speed up as much as possible. Marleyan boots have not been made for this type of mobility and Erwin wonders how much better it would it be to wear a uniform from the Paradis military. The pants don’t have much room to stretch either and the white never lasts. He wonders if he should be wearing his helmet though, unsure if a sniper might be after them after all this, and considering distances.

The wall is closer now, the hole in the side more obvious. The Armored titan must have run through it, which is a dangerous move. The Warriors were just kids, something must have scared them, or else there was no need for such a violent entrance. Now, every citizen in Paradis is aware of the existence of different types of titans. Maybe the Colossal was unleashed too, hopefully not all four of them, there’s no way to know.

Erwin stares high up the wall and considers his chances; shooting the grapple now will get him closer faster, but taking a higher shot will also help him move off the ground. He can visualize where he should grapple next to do a wall run just like they did five years ago to escape this same place. Levi should be able to follow right behind him, and gaining some speed may even help get some titans off his back.

It's almost time. Erwin's at enough distance for his gear to reach the wall so he fixes his view on his target and takes a deep breath in. He remembers everything Levi's ever taught him, since that first day and those training programs they created in Marley. Hips relaxed so the legs and the stomach do all the work. Knees high. Shoulders balanced. 

He shoots a grapple high and it flies through the air rapidly. Before it hits the wall, Erwin leaps forward and as soon as the hook is attached to the wall, he is reeled forward. He smiles, feeling the speed taking him forward and up. Weirdly though, Levi's hook is nowhere to be seen.

Erwin looks behind him to find Levi hanging from the hair of a titan while shooting his grapple at another. He looks compromised and there's not much to do unless he drops to the ground and runs.

He doesn't. He can't. A titan smacks his whole body and he's thrown against another where he stabs his katana for control, hanging from the monster’s side before it falls to the ground. For some reason, they stop running and start to target Levi, forcing him to slice his way out. 

Erwin stops; he can’t lose Levi. Not like this, not right now, not ever. Still hooked to the wall, Erwin runs towards Levi who’s been surrounded. Five titans are going at him, trying to get a grip of him as he cuts fingers and shoots his grapple to gain height again. He’s strong, the strongest, the quickest, the smartest; but he’s tired. He’s been awake this whole trip, he’s been running this whole morning. He can’t even correctly dodge the titan that charges behind him, biting right into another titan’s shoulder and cutting the string off his gear. Levi drops to the ground again and gets kicked and stomped.

Everything is happening too fast, there's no time to think, barely any time to act, no time to wait.

Erwin shoots his grapple at Levi, slicing through his stomach and reeling him in. Levi’s body is dragged across the grass as titans throw their hands forward, desperately trying to catch him. Erwin runs towards Levi until he can grip his shoulder and sets his gear back on again. The grapple hooked on the walls yanks their bodies quickly. Erwin holds Levi against him, strongly, desperately; he isn’t moving. The hook went through his stomach and he's bleeding but Erwin can't just climb up these walls while Levi's stabbed, he can barely do anything as he flies into the air and titans are still chasing after them.

He holds Levi's hips and shoots the grapple on his waist to move as high as possible, out of reach of the dangers below. He can feel Levi's blood warming his arms, he sees it dripping down Levi's foot. It's too painful to watch, to know. The strongest man on this earth has given everything in him just for Erwin's sake. And even then, he decides to hurt Levi some more.

With a wrench in his heart, Erwin folds the hooks that went through Levi’s stomach. He won’t be able to cut the strong cord, especially not this high-resistance cord that's made with Hizuruan technology. Levi’s katana is long gone and Erwin’s knife is no use. There’s nothing he can do to ease Levi’s state, there’s only moving forward. 

Hanging from Levi’s gear right now is not the best course of action so he detaches the cord that goes through Levi’s stomach and exchanges it for the one in his belt. 

Going up is harder like this, with Levi’s heavy body hanging over his shoulder. He can’t do any sort of wall run like this, but he’s glad he learned to properly manoeuvre this new gear or they’d both be on the ground, ripped apart by Zeke’s creations. 

It’s hard to aim and shoot the grapples but he plays it safe, moving slowly across short distances; two feet on the wall, one step at a time. He’s barely halfway there and his muscles are already killing him. His thighs burn, his ankles feel stiff. Levi doesn’t move. 

“You’ll be fine, Levi,” Erwin chants. “You’ll be alright, soldier, I promise.”

The sun is blinding as sweat drips down Erwin’s forehead and back. He hopes it is sweat, or else Levi’s bleeding out more rapidly than he anticipated. 

“We’ll cross this wall; we’ll hunt for animals,” he says, trying to keep his head busy as well. “We’ll build a log house; like the ones from the huntsmen. You’ll teach me Paradisian culture now,” he breathes out. “It's your turn.”

He knows Levi will be fine because no one is like him; he’s an Ackerman, strong by nature and resilient by habit; a fighter. Paradis needs him, his brawn, and his kindness. Erwin needs him, more than anything. Now and always. 

Erwin reaches the last stretch, groaning desperately and out of breath. He softly places Levi on top of the wall before climbing up himself and unhooking the grapples. He unbuckles the harness and drops the gear quickly and then he kneels to do the same for Levi. He looks so pale, more than usual. There are big fat droplets of sweat on his forehead; he isn’t opening his eyes. Erwin takes the canteen out of his bag and holds Levi’s head up to help him drink some. But it's useless, he’s merely wetting his lips. He takes his knife and unscrews the grapple that comes off Levi's side. He manages to loosen the cord, making it easy to pull from the other side without hurting Levi any more than necessary. It's still a slim, strong cord and pulling hard might cut Levi's insides. Once it's out, Erwin takes off his shirt and rips it to shreds to put pressure on the wound, then he uses the harness to keep it tight. 

He keeps sniffling and he doesn’t know why until he notices he's weeping. His hands are sticky with blood, trembling; he's agitated, his chest hurts. Levi is passed out, unresponsive. His blood is dyeing Erwin's shirt red. He's never felt this much desperation before, not even with his father. He wasn't allowed to mourn him, he didn't have the time or privacy to do so. Now he's on this island alone without the two most important people in his life because he's greedy; greedy and despicable. Selfish. Devious. 

Evil.

Erwin screams at the top of his lungs, falling next to Levi and picking him up in his arms. He holds him tight against his chest and groans, feeling nothing but emptiness. He's too far gone and he's got so much to lose. He cups Levi's face and stares at him; he looks in peace, he looks like he's sleeping. He will recover, he must.

“Please, pleas—” Erwin says, choking on his words. “You're not allowed to die, soldier. You're not. You can't, please Levi, please,” he chants, kissing Levi's forehead. 

He's burning up and Erwin takes that as a good sign so he rests his lips there. Levi always gets a fever when he’s hurt and he always heals, he always gets better.

“You'll be alright,” Erwin says against the hot skin. “You have to. You must.” Erwin's lips brush Levi's temple where he places another kiss. “Stay with me, soldier,” he mumbles. 

He kisses Levi's cheek, he kisses Levi’s nose. He kisses his lips. 

“Please, Levi,” he pleads.

A gust of cold wind blows around them, making Erwin shiver. The sweat on his body chills, he's coming down from the adrenaline and there's still a long way to go. There's still so much to lose. He feels alone surrounded by so much open space. From up here, he can barely see anything other than sky. Blue sky, clouds, and nothingness. 

The sudden clank of metal startles him and he looks at the edge of the wall; something's coming from the inside. He holds Levi closer, trying to stay away, looking around. There's nowhere to run anymore and it's already too late. He can’t defend Levi like this and he won’t leave him alone either.

Under the sun, three figures rise from the edge of the wall and stand expectant. They are soldiers, Erwin can tell as much because of the gear attached to their hips but he can’t put them in focus. He’s blinded by the sun above him; his head feels light; his muscles are weak. One of the figures walks a few steps forward and leans in. Erwin finds a face, glasses and a wide smile.

“Heya, buddy,” the voice comes. “How the fuck did you get up here?”

Chapter Text

Levi's forehead drips in sweat. Erwin uses a wet cold rag to softly wipe it away, then he places a kiss there. He's been out all day and night but the Survey Corps helped them down the wall and offered medical care. They are in jail, but they are together.

This is the best outcome for them; somehow, they ended up where they needed to be, though not under the best conditions. Erwin was hoping to engage with the Survey Corps first-hand, get to truly know them, understand their role in this city. These soldiers are brave enough to venture outside of the walls even without knowing what's out there, just facing titans head-on; they are ready to fight a war against the unknown. Levi always called them lunatics, yet it was clear he respected them more than the other military groups here.

It's hard to believe that Levi will forgive him after all this. Erwin has been his enemy since the day he kidnapped Levi from the Underground and got his friends killed. Now, he’s brought him back, and for what? To have more enemies at their backs. He made Levi go through hell and brought him back. To make him kill an entire ship crew and then stab him in the stomach. Erwin will never forgive himself, he will never repay what Levi's done for him; he should've never dragged Levi into this mess.

“I'm sorry,” Erwin mumbles against Levi's forehead before placing another kiss.

“How's he doing?” Hange asks, on the other side of the cell bars. 

It takes Erwin by surprise, he thought he was alone.

“Nothing has changed,” he answers. “I can’t tell.”

“Alright, don't worry, I'll take care of him.”

Hange's a very particular person with messy hair and a quirky personality. Sometimes Erwin isn't sure if everything is a joke to them or not. It's hard to say whether they're a good doctor, considering they don't take any sanitary precautions.

Next to them stands a boy, Armin. He might be the same age Erwin was when he came to Paradis for the first time. He seems just as stubborn and relentless as well.

“Come over so we can cuff you,” Hange says. “Just standard procedure, you know?”

Erwin obeys, putting his hands through the cell bars as the blond boy tightens the cuffs on him. There's nowhere to go, and he knows the Survey Corps don't feast on torture. This place is nothing like Marley.

“Did you get some sleep?” Hange asks, turning the key to step into the cell.

“Yes,” Erwin lies.

“Weird, I swear that pillow looks exactly like I left it last night.”

Erwin rests his head against two bars, letting the cold seep into his brain. He wishes he could sleep. He closes his eyes, trying not to think about Hange's hands on Levi's injured body.

“Good news is… the bleeding stopped,” Hange says. “The grapple went through and didn't cause a stomach rupture—but fuck, his fever is off the charts, I never touched someone this hot.”

“That's normal,” Erwin answers. “He… runs hot.”

“This is not normal,” Hange insists. “He won’t wake up unless we take his fever down—what the fuck?”

Erwin desperately turns around and finds Hange's hands all over Levi's wounds, pressing their fingers hard into Levi's stomach.

“What the actual fuck,” Hange exclaims, letting out a deep sigh. “Okay, this guy is no t normal, you're damn right.”

“What—what is it?” The young soldier asks.

“His… Well, damn, his broken rib isn't broken anymore.” Hange spears Erwin with a quizzical look.

“We need to talk,” Erwin says.

“No shit,” they breathe out, standing up. “But you're not talking to me, you're talking to the Commander.” Hange steps out of the cell and locks the door again. “We got food for you. Make sure to eat, try to get him to drink,” they suggest, sliding a platter with fruit and a canteen of water into the cell.

The blond boy uncuffs Erwin delicately and pierces him with his blue eyes. It's not a friendly look and proves he's not as shy as he seems to be.

Erwin watches them leave and lets out a deep sigh, brushing his hair back. He takes the canteen from the platter and walks towards Levi.

“I guess I don’t need to explain how special you are,” Erwin tells him, lifting his head softly to pour a few drops of water on his lips. “Nobody could survive this but you.”

Levi's lips are chapped and they don't move, but Erwin makes sure they are wet. Hange has changed his bandages and they are now clean, still he will crave a nice bath when he wakes up. Erwin hopes he can get into a comfortable tub, considering the plumbing technology here isn't the same as it was at home.

Home. Marley is not Levi's home. It isn't Erwin's either. It never felt like home; he was always a stranger; unwanted and disposable. Right now, even behind these bars, Erwin already feels free.

The food barely goes down as he sits next to Levi's bed. It's hard to sleep, and it’s impossible to think. Erwin never felt this tired before. He has no idea what he'll do when the commander of the Survey Corps gets here. Spilling the truth is dangerous, but Erwin has already shown up in the most suspicious way possible, alongside the strongest human they will ever meet.

“Erwin?” A voice comes. “Incredible, it's really you!” It's Reiner Braun on the other side of the cell bars.

“Did you come to get us?” Bertholdt Hoover asks, right next to him.

Erwin stands in one motion and feels the room spinning around him. The kid Warriors are here, of all places, and they aren't kids anymore. Bertholdt is taller than Erwin and Reiner has grown buff; for the first time, Erwin sees a tough man in him. 

“Who's he?” Bertholdt asks.

“Does anyone know you're here?” Erwin takes a few steps forward, trying to keep his balance.

“No, they… are having lunch in the common rooms. Where's everyone else?”

“By the beach,” Erwin answers, leaning towards the bars. “There's a breach in Wall Maria,” he says sternly. They were kids when they left Marley they held no respect for Erwin, and he had no authority. This is his best chance to claim it. He sometimes forgets he’s only turning twenty-three this year.

“We…” Bertholdt stutters.

“We had no other chance, we lost Marcel,” Reiner says. “He was… attacked. A titan ate him whole and we ran. We had no other choice but to make a forced entrance.”

Erwin frowns. There's a stranger here in possession of the Jaw titan. Someone with such skills wouldn't just try to survive outside the walls. If a titan ate Marcel, it must've been one of the Eldian prisoners sent to heaven.

“You're lucky to be alive,” Erwin tells him, gripping the bars. “We were doing a reconnaissance mission when titans ran out of the breach and attacked us.” 

“Apologies, sir, we had no other choice,” Bertholdt stutters. “But… we were able to infiltrate their military and found there's another shifter inside the walls!” he spits out.

“Where?”

“He's a soldier, training right here in the Survey Corps,” Reiner explains. “He's not a trained Warrior and that is clear. Captain Hange has been helping him run experiments East of Trost.”

“What else do you know about this titan?”

“It doesn't seem to have any special abilities,” Reiner says. “But that might be because Yeager doesn't know what he's doing.”

The name makes heat rise to Erwin's neck. “Who is that? Speak clearly. I have no use for half-truths.”

“Eren Yeager, sir,” Reiner whispers, getting one step closer. “He's the soldier in possession of this titan. He's just a kid; he doesn't have what it takes to be a Warrior.”

Erwin tries to keep his cool as his mind runs; he notices he's not as tired as he thought he was. He can think clearly, he understands more than the two kids in front of him. They must not even remember Zeke's last name. Warriors aren't trained to think outside the battlefield. They wouldn’t connect Zeke’s name to a random kid on Paradis. They aren't aware of Grisha Yeager’s fate. They have no idea the ship that took him to heaven never returned to Marley. 

“You've done well, soldiers,” Erwin says. “I can only imagine the despicable lives you had to live around these devil islands.”

“Yeah—yes, sir,” Bertholdt mutters. “They have—they captured Annie.”

Erwin frowns, he doesn’t need to ask questions to receive answers at this point.

“We don't know where she is,” Reiner explains. “Arlert tricked her and made her shift inside the city. She couldn't fight against the Survey Corps, they are resilient and she was left with no choice but to recoil into a hardened shell. They took her somewhere but nobody told us where, they are very secretive about it.”

“We can't wait to be back home,” Bertholdt adds.

“There's a ship by the beach, they are waiting for our signal,” Erwin lies. “We're ready with trucks and high-penetration weaponry. But I have to be honest with you; two titans down is not a good look for your mission.”

“But we can run now! If the Marley military is here, we can escape and retaliate.”

“That's too risky,” Erwin says. “The fact that you're here telling me all this is risky as well. What else have you learned from these people?”

Reiner and Bertholdt are still just kids, even if they don't look like it anymore. Just as the people from Paradis can't imagine the world they are missing outside, these two know nothing that has happened in Marley. What's better is that none of the Beast titans have ever been useful in war. They can't imagine the high performance Zeke has demonstrated with his titan, or the extent of his abilities, and Erwin will use it in his favour.

“Tell him,” Bertholdt says, “about Krista.”

“Uh, she's—she says she's got royal blood.”

“Why would she tell you that?” Erwin asks, keeping his stoic stance.

“I overheard her talking to her friend, they trust each other. She's a wonderful girl, she would never lie.”

“Her real name is Historia Reiss,” Bertholdt explains. 

That's not the King's name, but Erwin never trusted he's the real King either; not with how many secrets Paradis holds.

“This is not enough proof to trust such allegations. What's her connection to King Fritz?”

Bertholdt frowns. “We… we don't know.”

“I didn't think about that,” Reiner adds.

“Listen, Warriors,” Erwin says. “You need to keep playing along. We need time to recover and then we will signal you. The Colossal is no use for escaping and the Armored is only strong, not quick. We need Annie's titan, we need the Jaw.” They can't remain alive.

“Who's he?” Bertholdt asks, pointing a finger behind Erwin.

“It’s been risky enough that you’re here,” Erwin says, ignoring the question. “If there’s nothing else to report, please go back to your posts. We can’t jeopardise this mission and it’s hard to know what these devils might do to you if they found out.” Erwin would like to push the devil’s agenda but by now, Reiner and Berthold might have noticed that everything they were told about Paradis is a lie; still, the sense of duty they feel for their motherland should be stronger. 

“There's an Ackerman here,” Reiner says. “Mikasa Ackerman, a strong, quick soldier. She's the main reason the Corps has succeeded in many of our expeditions. Her strength, and our knowledge in battle,” he explains, pointing at each other.

Erwin’s heart races as a smile grows on his lips. Another Ackerman is right around the corner; they might be related to Levi, another one of his father’s offspring.

“Good job, Warriors,” he says. “Now leave, stay safe.”

Erwin watches them walk out of the room and stands there for a minute before turning around. Unlike his life in Marley, where progress was stagnant, he feels as though he doesn’t have time to rest in Paradis. No time to think twice. 

He sits next to Levi once again and checks his fever, placing yet another kiss on his forehead. Things might go fast but Levi's by his side now; Erwin doesn't have to wait for him to come back from the war or sneak into his bedroom. He doesn't need to depend on the newspapers or the posters on the street. He's the one who found Levi and brought him above, showed him the world. Levi's place is by his side, Levi's his. And Erwin owes him his life.

Erwin is almost asleep when a loud clangour startles him awake. It's Hange shaking the cell door. They are smiling, peeking through the bars, their glasses crooked. The blond boy, Armin, is beside them along with a blonde tall woman.

“Bad timing for a nap,” they say, stepping away.

“It's alright, I was only resting my eyes,” Erwin answers, slowly getting up. 

He's surprised he doesn't have a harder time. After all those nights barely eating, after running so much just yesterday, somehow he can tell he's stronger than he thought he was.

“Is the commander coming? He asks.

“She's here,” they say, pointing at the blonde woman. 

There are no women commanders in Marley, no captains or officers. They are merely soldiers who do office work or nurses. Most of them end up being the male officer's sexual playthings. Erwin feels stupid and out of place again.

“Commander Nanaba of the Survey Corps,” Armin introduces her. “Thirteenth in her line.”

“Nice to meet you, ma'am,” he says with a curt nod. Thirteen is the number for bad luck where he comes from and even though he’s not superstitious, he wonders if she’s alive because Marleyan rules don’t apply here.

She doesn't blink, she doesn't move. She side-eyes Armin for a moment before looking back at Erwin.

“It's not every day we jail someone for climbing up the walls,” she says. “We're not the Military police; you can try and cross over for all we care. Maybe we'd suggest you better join us and do it properly.” She takes a chair nearby and places it in front of the cell, sitting with her legs spread, leaning over her knees. “We couldn't help but notice you weren't trying to go outside, though. You were coming in.”

Erwin nods.

“Where did you get that gear?”

“From here. I updated it.”

“You were here before?”

“Five years ago.”

She doesn’t seem impressed. “Do you live outside the walls?”

“I used to.”

“Behind other walls? How did you deal with the titans?”

“There are no titans across the ocean,” Erwin answers, looking at all three of them.

Nanaba frowns, sparing a look at her soldiers. Her eyes stay on Armin a bit longer than on Hange.

“You know what the ocean is, I take it,” Erwin says.

Armin takes a step closer. “I’ve read about it… in a book.”

“That must be a very precious book, then,” Erwin answers. “I know those are rare here. There’s a reason the Military Police don't want people crossing the walls. Yet somehow, they are not the ones patrolling Wall Maria.”

“Wow, you talk big,” Hange says, leaning over the bars. “Just tell us everything you know, why play coy?”

Erwin takes the only chair in the cell and puts it right in front of Nanaba before sitting down. “I come from a place called Marley; the same place that let titans loose on Paradis,” he explains. “Their main objective is for you not to leave. But it has worked out in your favour because no one can get in either.”

“Someone in here doesn't want visitors?” Hange ask.

Erwin nods. “You have a titan of your own, don’t you?” he asks, winning a smirk from Hange. “The first thing you need to know about titans is that they used to be human. And if my theories are correct, they could be so again.”

He only gets silence in response. He hoped they’d be more interested. It’s either fear or a facade. 

“You’ve invaded us before,” the commander says, tilting her chin up. Her voice is low and hoarse, she seems sceptical but curious. “Are there more of you?”

“Yes, four soldiers were sent to this island five years ago. One is dead, two are part of your army. The third one I hear is locked in a crystal cocoon.”

“Why tell us your secrets?” the commander asks.

“I don't want the same thing they do. I don't want this country’s resources. Or your titans.”

“Now, this guy is the real shit,” Hange tells Nanaba while pointing a thumb at Erwin.

“The country I come from is hell on earth. They fear people like us. Eldians. So they make us kill our own people.”

“You keep saying Eldians… ” Nanaba comments.

“Historically, Eldians are the only people capable of turning into titans. Everyone on Paradis is considered an Eldian, but there’s more outside the island. Because our ancestors committed atrocities in the past, we are punished for their actions. No Eldian is born innocent..”

Nanaba leans back in her chair and shares some looks with her soldiers. It’s clear they can speak without words; Erwin knows what that’s like because Levi always understands him without saying a word.

“I have nothing to lose,” Erwin says. But if he loses Levi, he's done for. “I’m here to make right what my country has done wrong for the last century. You can keep me locked in here for as long as you want, but you should make sure the intruders are locked in as well.”

“They were here before, weren't they?” Armin asks. “That's how you know about our titan, about Annie.”

“Being a whistleblower isn't a good look for you,” Hange says. “We can't trust someone that's ratting out his friends.”

“My only friend is in this cell with me,” he answers. “I lost my family to a country that forced me to fight wars that were not mine. We're slaves where I come from. These intruders are not guilty of their crimes. I know that. We've all been brainwashed into destroying Paradis,” he says, letting out a deep sigh. “But the Colossal and Armored Titan are not something to consider lightly. They are the strongest Warriors in Marley. They can take this city down as soon as cavalry arrives. And they are just around the corner.” Erwin looks up at the small window in the ceiling.

“Alright,” the commander says, getting up. “I think we’ve heard enough. We’ll get you more food and water.”

“Could I have some pen and paper?” Erwin dares to ask. 

“That’s a bold request, buddy,” Hange says.

“I can write down everything you need to know.”

They cock a brow. ”You can write to your little friends too.”

“I told you, I have no friends.”

“Yeah yeah,” they say, disregarding him with their hand. “We’ll see about that.”

Erwin turns back to Levi as soon as he’s alone. A kiss on the forehead tells him the fever has gone down substantially. He drinks some water and stares at the cheese and bread on the platter.  He remembers back when he was here with Mike and Wald; eating stale food by the forests; working for a place to sleep; sneaking around in libraries and across the gates; down to the Underground.

The commander and her team have a lot of talking to do, but he's sure this will work out in his favour. Someone with his knowledge is useful, and there is nobody as curious here as the Survey Corps. They know Erwin will be able to prove helpful. 

The fact that Zeke's father has lived a second life here is plausible. Somehow, he acquired a titan, maybe during Marley's rough torture and experimentation. Maybe during his trip, provoking his ship to be destroyed and never coming back. Whatever the case, he's no longer alive, not if a kid named Yeager is in possession of a titan. That kid must hold so much knowledge, passed on by his father.

A sudden rustle of fabric startles him. Levi's trying to move. Erwin kneels next to him, to hold his hand, to caress his forehead.

“Levi,” he calls. “Levi, it's me. Stay still, you've been badly hurt.” 

He takes the canteen and presses it to Levi's lips, softly lifting his head and pouring some water on them. Unlike before, Levi seems to react and swallows some, his eyes fluttering.

“Erwin,” he mumbles.

“Yes, it's me,” he answers as a smile rises on his lips. He’s scared but he’s relieved too. “Does it hurt too much?”

“Erwin, are you okay?”

It's embarrassing to hear this. Erwin’s the one who hurt Levi, yet Levi is worried about him.

“I'm alright, Levi. Can you do me a favour, now? Please, drink some water,” he says, pouring more on his lips. “That's right you're doing great, just a little more, come on, soldier.”

Levi swallows slowly. He licks his lips, he coughs softly and only then, he manages to open his eyes. The cell is so poorly lit that Erwin misses the unique colour of his eyes.

“I saw the stars,” Levi says, voice almost muted, hoarse.

Erwin smiles, he loves hearing Levi talk. “What did you see?” He asks.

“It was down here,” Levi explains. “I was walking across Andromeda.”

Fever has probably caused him to have very vivid dreams, and Erwin is too worried to play along. “We need to get your fever down, alright?”

“Stardust healed my stomach,” Levi insists.

“I'm sorry, Levi. I'm so sorry. I did this to you,” Erwin says, holding Levi's hand tight and taking it to his lips; he kisses it. “You'll be alright. You're healing quickly like you always do.”

“I smell.”

“It's probably me,” Erwin answers. He doesn't think Levi could ever smell anything but good.

With some help, Levi manages to sit up. He doesn't flinch and Erwin takes that as a good sign. 

“We're in jail,” he points out.

“Momentarily,” Erwin says—hopes. “The Survey Corps have a lot of questions about our gear. About why we came from outside the walls.”

He hands Levi the canteen so that he keeps drinking.

“What did you tell them?” he asks after taking a big gulp.

“Everything.”

Levi frowns.

“Everything I could, just like I did with you. There's no use in hiding the truth. It's Marley who lies, not me.”

“You don't need to explain things to me,” Levi says, wrinkling his nose, analysing the dirt on his nails. “I trust you.”

It's such a strong statement and Levi says it so easily. He shouldn't trust Erwin. Not after all the terrible things he's been through because of Erwin.

“Reiner and Bertholdt are here,” he tells Levi. “You never met them but you might’ve heard of them.”

“Yeah,” Levi answers. He coughs softly and drinks some more water. “Are they going to be a problem?”

“They might work in our favour if we play our cards right.”

“Ugh,” Levi breathes out, trying to sit straight. He smells his clothes and flinches. “Are you hurt?” he asks, pressing a hand to Erwin’s face. He touches his eyebrows, his cheeks. 

Erwin wants to close his eyes and lean into the touch so badly; for a second, he thinks he should refrain, he knows he doesn’t deserve it. He should be strong, he can’t break down now. He thinks they don’t have time to rest, but there’s nowhere to go. hey are locked in this cell. So Erwin gives in, allows Levi’s touch. In here, they have so much time that they could even dance; they could get up and swing around. Erwin pictures Levi twirling in his arms and smiling; getting too close for comfort; the softness of his skin; his shiny hair.

“I should've killed that shitting monkey when I had the chance,” Levi suddenly says.

“It was dangerous,” Erwin answers. “Had he shifted inside that ship, we wouldn't have made it. If all their officers and generals are gone, it’s only the Eldians left. Not all of them will be willing to give their lives for Marley.”

Levi removes his hand and Erwin already misses it. He had gotten used to the warmth of his touch; it felt like forgiveness. Now, as Levi checks his wounds, Erwin feels the guilt again. Levi moves his bandage away to reveal a nasty red scar where the grapple went through; it still bleeds. It’s not humanly possible to heal this fast; not in these conditions, without proper medical help or anaesthetics.

“Nastier than a gunshot,” Levi mutters, covering the wound again.

“I’m sorry,” is all Erwin manages to say.

“Don’t be. We’re here, just as you promised.”

Erwin huffs. “At what cost? Everything around me is death.”

“Hey,” Levi calls out, making their eyes meet. “I’m not dead. Neither are you. So what’s next?” His hand lies on the bed, right next to Erwin’s but they don’t touch. “Once we get out of here, we’ll need the Corps on our side. The Military Police are too close to the king.”

“Yes. The Corps are our best chance,” Erwin agrees. “They seem smart enough to keep us as their little secret. But the Warriors are too desperate to get back home. It can get out of hand too quickly.”

“You should talk to them,” Levi says. “There’s no point in fighting for Marley anymore. They could save their families from over here. Everyone’s family.”

“Sadly, that wouldn't work.” Erwin swallows; he wants to touch Levi’s hand, sitting so close to it. “They lost a friend. Another one has been imprisoned. They've set their minds to this. There's too much at stake and failing this mission is too much of a hit to take. There's no going back for them.”

“We're not killing them.”

Erwin remains silent, looking up at Levi.

“Tch,” Levi exclaims, getting up. He limps for a second and puts a hand against the wall for balance. “They are not the enemy,” he says. 

“Unfortunately, they are.”

“Don’t talk like fucking Magath,” Levi spits out. “You’re nothing like him.”

Erwin would really like to believe that, but he knows he’s just as evil as Magath has always been. His own goals before anything else, anyone else.

“I don't want to talk about this now,” Levi decides, limping to the sink. He lets the water run and washes his hands, he leans forward and soaks his head under the faucet. “Oh, fuck,” he growls, brushing his neck, letting water run down his back. He flips his hair back, sprinkling everything around him, and looks at Erwin, dripping wet. “I need a shower.”

“Mikasa is our strongest soldier,” Armin says. “She's… she's been badly hurt before but we just thought she was playing tough.”

“So he's a sort of titan?” Hange asks.

“No,” Levi answers curtly.

“No,” Erwin echoes. “He's… something else. As I said, Ackermans were just a myth before Levi. After travelling to Hizuru, we learned much more.”

“The… other, other country,” Hange says, clearly overjoyed by hearing about the outside world.

“Yes, one of the many other countries beyond the sea. One of the few that Marley has not attacked yet. But they have seized half of the continent, making them more dangerous than ever. For now, their warfare depends on us, on Eldians and titans. But it will be much longer until their weapons evolve into something more sinister.”

“More sinister than injecting people with poison to turn them into monsters?” The commander asks.

“Yes, even more so.”

Nanaba seems to put a lot of trust in the two soldiers who always follow her around. They are a curious bunch but Erwin can sympathize. 

“What made you risk everything to come here? To declare war against your country?”

Erwin huffs a laugh. “I could ask you the same question. What compels you to ride outside the walls, knowing how deadly it is?” he asks just as curious.

Nanaba tilts her head and smiles back. “Before us, there was no purpose to the Survey Corps,” she explains. “We were just a bunch of lunatics riding towards the sunset, ready to die. It was a place full of criminals paying time, rapists, killers; nobody held a purpose. Not even our commander; he lost his mind after losing over ninety per cent of his soldiers during an expedition.”

“Never had numbers that high again,” Hange adds.

“Despite all that death,” Nanaba continues. “The government didn't shut us down. They didn't care. The barracks were lonely and quiet. We barely had any horses left and a lot of land that no one wanted.”  She walks closer, standing straight and crossing her arms. She's a big, buff woman. Imposing and smart. 

“Hange's too curious, I'm too resilient,” she explains with a shrug. “The small group that remained decided to give the Corps a new purpose. We wanted to know what titans are, where they came from, why they were here. The new trainees arrived only a year ago,” she says, looking at Armin. “Kids that endured nasty childhoods because their families died during the fall of Wall Maria. They, too, wanted to know what titans are. We don't just have a common enemy, we have a common objective. None of us are riding to die anymore, we are riding with purpose.”

Erwin understands. They are interested in what's outside the walls. They don't care about those in power or how much they will try to stop them.

“Your turn,” Hange says. “Why risk everything?”

He thinks back to what it meant when he found Levi in the Underground. He remembers Levi rescuing him. He's been in jail before, punched to bits. He lost his military rank. His father died.

“Dying is not a threat when you're so close to the truth,” he simply says.

Nanaba huffs a laugh, moving to the opposite wall. “We've talked enough for now,” she says, nodding at Hange.

They take some keys out of their pockets and unlock the cell door, opening it wide.

“Does this mean we’re free?” Levi asks.

“This means you’ve been recruited. Congratulations,” the commander deadpans. 

“Just like that?”

“We need men,” Armin says. “And you're insane enough,” he adds under his breath.

“You’ve been assigned a dorm within the barracks, you’ll share it with two other soldiers,” Hange explains. “You now have access to the showers, the bathrooms, and the kitchens, but you can’t leave the premises. Not without one of us following your every step. If anyone asks, you’re criminals and we’re taking you in. We’re preparing for our biggest expedition yet, so no one will ask questions,” they finally say, smirking.

The shower feels so good. 

Erwin groans as he stands there, craning his neck up with his eyes closed. Levi is grumbling next to him, brushing his nails and skin. He should be careful around his wound but he won’t, so Erwin doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t want to look either. Levi’s body is too captivating for some reason, the way his thighs are thick but his waist is slim, the muscles on his lower back, his broad shoulders. Erwin just doesn't want to be found staring.

“Your back’s all bruised,” Levi says, caressing a finger across Erwin's back, making his breath hitch. “Your legs too. Must've been the gear.”

“Yeah—yes,” he manages, feeling Levi's finger slide down his waist and slipping away after reaching his hip bones. “I think the harness was too—too tight.”

“Yeah, it happens.”

Even with his back to Levi, Erwin can feel his burning gaze and dares to look over his shoulder. Levi's eyes find him, and as usual, they betray nothing. He's closer than Erwin anticipated, there's dark red dripping down his sideburn.

He turns around to face Levi and catches his eyes flicking down and up for a second.

“You've still got… blood from the ship,” he says, reaching with his hand to brush it away. 

His heart is beating fast, his neck burns, his legs shake. He doesn't know what drives him to get this close to Levi when it's so frightening, but he persists. He always ran away from Levi, while wishing to be closer. It doesn't seem like he needs to run away anymore.

“I haven't washed my hair yet,” Levi answers, he doesn't move back and his eyes move across Erwin's chest. “Can't get the dirt off my nails. I need to trim them.” He's looking at Erwin's shoulders now. He seems to be analyzing every inch of Erwin’s skin.

Erwin swallows hard and dares to do the same. The oil lamps flicker, making Levi's body look ethereal. His pointy shoulders and muscled arms; his nipples, hard. Dark, short body hair trickles down his stomach. Erwin can say for sure he's never been so enticed by another man. He remembers when he cared for Levi’s wounds after the ship crew beat him up. Now he realizes he was just as enticed then as he is now. It feels the same; that urge to caress Levi's skin, to hold him close; that same feeling when they danced.

“How does it look?” Levi asks, turning around. A bloated red wound on the side of his back is visible, surrounded by four deep marks from the hook.

Erwin softly places his fingertips over it. It’s hot to the touch, and its texture reminds him of the titan marks on Levi’s face. Like soft, thin, healing flesh. He still can't believe he did this to Levi of all people.

“Don't say you're sorry,” Levi says before Erwin can speak.

He huffs a laugh. “But I am,” he says.

“Tch, you're being pesky.” Levi lathers some soap to wash his hair and Erwin watches as the dirty water slides down his back, and lower yet.

He manages to peel his eyes away before Levi turns around.

A soldier walks them to the room; a new face, Sasha. She smiles a lot and is extremely friendly. Erwin likes how formal she is when she speaks, something unusual compared to the other members of the Corps. She gives both of them their new clothes, their own SC uniforms. Erwin wonders if it will fit as badly as the one he stole back when he first arrived on this island.

The barracks are a big, cold place, and Erwin can already tell it’s too dirty for Levi’s liking. Spiderwebs creep out of every crevice on the wood, the floor is muddy, sprayed with the footprints of every person that passes through. The oil lamps hanging from the walls are covered in dust and there are pools of wax below the small chandeliers that hang from the ceiling. 

It's a big place, with lots of movement. Even this late at night, soldiers are going from one place to the other, wearing their uniforms, carrying papers, tools and food. They look at Erwin and Levi with obvious curiosity.

The bedroom is as big as the ones he had in HQ Liberio, only cosier. He doesn't know why, but it might just be the lack of cold, white walls. Here, the wood and dim lighting make everything feel a bit more welcoming. 

Levi's not having it though, he immediately slides a finger across the furniture to determine how dirty it is. He leaves his clothes on top of the bunk beds, claiming the top for himself. Erwin thinks it's a bad idea, considering he's the one still hurt.

“Alright, gentlemen,” Sasha says. “Your roommates are Günter and Leon, they…” she looks behind her, “should come to bed sometime soon. I suppose you'll be debriefed on your duties tomorrow morning. I'm in the room next door, so let me know if you need anything!” She exclaims, grinning.

“Thank you, Sasha. That'd be all,” Erwin says, hoping she finally leaves but she remains there for another second until Levi pierces her with his eyes. 

The two other soldiers arrive after Sasha leaves and barely acknowledge their two new roommates before they start chatting. Erwin can't say he likes that they arrived so soon, not only because he was hoping to talk with Levi alone, but also because he'd like to rest.

“Stop the cackling,” Levi grumbles, hopping on his bed. “Go outside if you need to gossip, you're not alone in this room anymore.”

The scolding is hilarious to Erwin, but he doesn't show it, turning around to hide his smile. He lies down on his bed and watches as Leon turns in and Günter walks out, turning off the lights and allowing darkness to engulf the room.

Another night in Paradis, only better than the previous one. It somehow should feel like the beginning of something important, but it's mostly devastating. 

Erwin slides under the covers but his eyes remain wide open. He can't stop thinking, yet none his thoughts are clear. He's overwhelmed. 

As his eyes adjust to the dark, thanks to the dim light coming from the window; he can make out the bottom of the top bed. 

It's been cloudy all day, he would like to listen to the rain. 

They will surely have to speak again with the commander tomorrow. 

Hange will have more questions for Levi too. 

They could meet the other Ackerman, the other titans. 

Everything is too dangerous while the Warriors are still around.

The bed creaks as Levi moves above him. He probably can't sleep either. Erwin feels stupid, they weren't sent straight to bed like children. He wants to talk to Levi, ask him how he feels about everything, look at him, have him close.

In the dark, Erwin sees Levi climbing down from his bunk. He naturally moves the covers to let Levi crawl under them, next to him, before putting the covers back. It's warmer this way, more comfortable. Levi's head lies on top of his arm, his wet hair smells nice, his hand rests on Erwin's chest. 

It isn't scary to be this close anymore, it's relaxing. It shuts Erwin's brain down and he finally closes his eyes, dozing off.

Chapter Text

“Morning, love birds.”

Levi blinks in the morning light and finds Hange standing next to the bed. 

They are not an unsettling nightmare as he had hoped; they are grinning, their stupid glasses and messy hair still there. He avoids rubbing his face against Erwin’s chest and sits up on one hand, frowning.

He hadn’t planned on sleeping in this bed; he thought he would just crawl next to Erwin for a little while until his neck hurt. He wasn’t expecting Erwin to let him under the covers, right next to him. Levi can’t remember the last time he slept surrounded by warmth, wrapped in a hug. He can’t wait to go to bed again tonight.

Hange leans against the top bunk and watches as Erwin wakes up too. They don’t leave or stop staring while Levi pulls his pants on and Erwin his shirt. The other two soldiers who share the room aren’t here. Maybe Erwin and Levi overslept, no way to know. 

“Not morning people, huh?” Hange asks.

“Not used to having a fucking nanny,” Levi spits out.

“You heal up pretty good,” they say, nodding at Levi’s stomach.

He does; it’s not something he noticed until recently, definitely not something he noticed as a child. Living in the Underground meant getting scratched and beaten up daily, especially when he tried to defend his mother. Now, he understands how she could take so much, how she was able to remain alive for so long while being so sick. But healing from a scratch or a punch is different from that of a gunshot; even more so from being pierced with a grapple.

Hange walks them to the dining hall. Levi flinches as he sees the stained tables and floors, the spiderwebs on every crease of the wooden walls. The daylight makes this place look even more filthy.

The soldiers are messy and loud, screaming from one table to another and spilling their drinks as they do. Everyone seems very young, there are barely any adults in the Corps. He spots Sasha in the turmoil, chewing with her mouth open. A boy next to her is laughing loudly. Another girl catches his eyes, dark hair, gilded eyes, defensive; Levi could swear that’s the Acerkman he’s been told about. 

The next place they visit is the training grounds. They pass a big patio with arches and can see the stables in the far back. Even the outside needs work, the grass is overgrown and the stable doors are broken on their hinges. 

“We mainly train speed by using ODM from tree to tree,” Hange explains, pointing at the forest. “Back in the day they made us hit wooden targets, but that training was bullshit. Nanaba decided to focus on core strength and reflexes.”

“Smart,” Erwin says.

“Before her, soldiers would just run up to titans and try to take them down. Suicidal.” They shake their head, staring at the horizon. “Nowadays we've been focusing on taking them down in groups. Mikasa can take several all by herself. I was kinda proud we captured one to run investigations until… you know, you told me they are fucking people.”

“You couldn't have known,” Erwin tells them.

“Yeah, well. Now I do. We've made greater advances in the span of one night than those before us did in lifetimes, so…”

Erwin nods. “We have a lot to discuss.”

“Which leads me to…” Hange says, turning around and pointing at the far side of the barracks. “Nanaba. Let’s go get some breakfast!”

“Is it normal to call your commander by her name?” Erwin asks as they walk back to the barracks by another path.

“We were friends before she became the commander,” Hange says. “Besides, Nanaba is pretty cool once you get to know her.”

Levi disagrees, he would say Nanaba is the type of person that people shouldn't mess with. Nobody becomes the commander without making a few enemies or pissing off a few pigs. After what Levi’s learned, he understands everything the Corps does is against the rules. The King might like them marching to their deaths, but he doesn’t like them succeeding at all. 

The commander’s office isn’t any better than the rest of the barracks, but at least the desk is organized and Levi can tell the floor has been swept recently. Nanaba is signing some papers and handing them over to the little soldier, Armin. Then, she makes a gesture to invite Levi and Erwin to sit down. 

“Did you show them around?” Nanaba asks Hange.

“Yeah, not much to show. Just the training grounds, and the kitchen. I doubt they wanna see the stables up front.”

“The place is impressive,” Erwin says. 

“Everything's filthy,” Levi adds.

Everyone turns to him. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees a subtle smile on Erwin’s lips.

“My nose’s been itching since I set foot here,” he explains. “There are spiderwebs everywhere. The brats in the dining hall can’t keep their drinks from spilling. Who’s in charge of cleaning?”

“We all contribute here,” Nanaba says.

“Then you’re doing an awful job,” he retorts.

Hange lets out a deep, loud laugh while holding their stomach, and then puts a hand on Nanaba’s shoulder. “He said your soldiers are filthy!” they exclaim.

Nanaba rolls their eyes, softly shaking her head. “Please have a seat,” she says, pointing at the chairs in front of her. “They are too young, they don't understand the importance of cleanliness.”

“Give me two days,” Levi says, sitting down. “You’ve got enough soldiers to clean this whole place.”

“We have training to do,” Nanaba tells him.

“Levi—” Erwin tries to interrupt.

“Being a soldier is not only shooting fucking guns and jumping around,” Levi says. “The problem is not that they are young, the problem is that they lack discipline.” He leans back, crossing his arms and legs. “If they are a mess here, they’ll be a mess in the battleground. Everything can be fixed with some discipline.”

“Teaching discipline to teens isn't as easy as you make it out to be,” she answers.

“I've learned that when it comes to teaching discipline, pain is the most effective way.”

“Wow, I love him. Can we keep him?” Hange asks.

“He’s already here, Han,” Nanaba says, standing up. “I'd like us to first speak about the foreign soldiers,” she says, fetching a teacup from a nearby stove. 

Levi had missed heating his water on a fireplace; the gas stove didn't feel right. He hasn't missed the lack of electricity though.

Nanaba pours tea for everyone. “Help yourself,” she says. “There’s cheese and bread. They are stale, but that's all we can offer for now.”

Levi can see an ugly smudge on the food platter and shivers. He’s already scared to drink from that cup, but he craves tea too much to fight it.

“Armin, would you like to begin?” Nanaba asks.

“Yes.” The boy clears his throat and sits up straight. 

He looks uptight and shy, yet he's the commander's right hand. Levi can't help but be reminded of the boy who picked him up from the Underground to set him free. 

“After learning that Annie was able to shift into a titan, we had speculated more of them would be around us,” Armin explains. “We've been attentive to every man, considering they might be sleeping under our roof. The problem is, we’ve tricked Annie in the past, so these soldiers won’t be easy to fool, not in a way that wouldn’t compromise us.”

“Care to finally share who these soldiers are?” Nanaba asks.

“Reiner Braun and Berthold Hoover,” Erwin answers.

Armin nods curtly but none of them seem surprised. After everything they've been through, they surely noticed something was wrong with those two long before Erwin shows up. They needed a confirmation and this only makes Erwin's alibi stronger.

“They already know you’re here, talking to us,” Nanaba says. “Why would they trust you?”

“We were raised under the same rules, so I know what goes through their minds,” Erwin explains. “They've been here for five years. They are too eager to get home, and seeing me only feeds that urge. All they want is to get this over with and make their motherland proud.”

“Imprisonment doesn't seem wise,” Nanaba says.

“I suggest against,” Erwin answers. “Shifters are prepared to survive the most inhospitable situations.”

“Shifters,” Hange echoes.

“Their training is torturous,” Erwin continues. “They are subjected to constant pain, no sleep, no eating. They are soldiers willing to do anything to achieve their goals. Trying to put them behind bars would only result in them shifting on the spot, destroying everything around them.”

“Shifting.”

“The power of the Colossal Titan is one of the most destructive things alive, and I've heard Berthold has exceeded all expectations.”

“Not Reiner?” Nanaba asks.

Levi heard all about the Warriors back when he had to spend his days with that dumbass ape. He hates that he can't free himself from those memories. He hates that he wasted so much time trying to fill the space Erwin had left back then. 

“Reiner was never a top Warrior,” Erwin explains. “Few are up to the challenge, as I said, training is torturous. He was just unlucky enough to be the only option left. Which brings me to another important matter.”

“Do many people want to become Warriors?” Armin asks.

“Yes, every Eldian aspires to it in the hopes of bringing honour to their family,” Erwin explains. “The Gillard brothers were supposed to come here if I recall. Porco, an exceptional soldier, was somehow left behind. I suspect his brother had something to do with this; he tried to save him from this fate. The problem is Marcel never made it to the walls, a titan ate him before they could make it here.”

“That means another shifter is around,” Hange says.

“Precisely. You need to seize these people immediately,” Erwin says. “We don't know how long we have until the army by the beach decides to attack.”

“The beach,” Hange emphasizes. “Where's that?”

“A day by horse, give or take. South of Shiganshina.”

“Where there’s a ship filled with upgraded gear and Marleyan soldiers,” Nanaba points out.

“Eldians,” Levi says. “They are not Marleyan soldiers.”

“They fight for Marley, Levi,” Erwin says.

“If we kill our people, how different are we from them?” Levi asks.

“That's not for me to decide. But they will not hold back if we attack,” Erwin says sternly, staring at Nanaba.

“You two are fucking weird,” Hange says.

Nanaba sets her teacup down, sharing a look with her soldiers. “We have a lot to discuss, and we need to be inconspicuous. Is there a possibility that they might attack first?”

“I've destroyed their cars,” Levi tells her. 

“Cars .”

“If they are smart, they will sail back to Marley and get help.”

“How long then?” Nanaba asks.

“I know Zeke Yeager,” Erwin answers. “He will march forward on his own and get here in a week. Once Reiner and Berthold see his titan, they will know it's time to attack.”

Four days ago

Zeke is fast asleep and Levi's filled with him. It's disgusting, but it was easy; all Zeke needed was to climax, and making him wait for it paid off. 

Levi cleans up and tries to get rid of as much of Zeke as he can. Even his face smells of his spit. He still hates himself for touching him, for giving him what he wanted, for being filthy with him. It was best to keep him quiet and calm. Oblivious.

 If Zeke decides to shift right here, Erwin will be the first one to die. He's down there in that humid, dark cargo storage. 

Levi doesn't care if he can't deal with Zeke now; he's their biggest threat and Levi's the type of man who leaves the best bite for last. For now, he will entertain himself with the rest of the officers.

He can't call anyone's attention, but at these hours the ship is silent; most soldiers are locked in their rooms downstairs, minding their own business.

He takes the shiv he keeps in the heel of his boot and makes his way to the end of the hallway, where a soldier is guarding one of the private bathrooms. He tries to tell Levi what an evil-blooded brat he is but he can barely finish his sentence before Levi stabs his throat and slams a rug into his mouth. He waits until the guard drops to the floor on his own, bleeding out, and then he walks into the bathroom. 

Officer Musk is taking a piss, whistling the Marleyan anthem. Levi kicks him on the shin, making him drop to his knees. Once he's down, Levi sinks his face into the toilet and puts all his weight on him. Musk flails helplessly, and he screams, but it's muffled by his own piss. When he stops moving Levi stabs him in the neck a few times for good measure. He drags the other soldier into the bathroom and keeps going. 

Locking soldiers in their rooms could prove dangerous. Levi doesn't want to kill Eldian soldiers, but if the ship crashes and sinks, leaving them with no escape wouldn't change anything. He hopes it doesn't happen. He hopes they stay on the lower floors of the ship, unaware of everything.

He kills two more guards on that floor and leaves them there. The rest of the officers are upstairs. Gerst too.

He sneaks through the side passages and stabs guards on his way, throwing them overboard. He only stops long enough to grab some of their belongings. There are three more on the other side of the ship. Levi makes his way, crouching under the windows and deals with them. Two officers are still awake, drinking scotch and smoking cigars in the meeting room.

The night is dark. It keeps him veiled as he puts a Marleyan hat on his head and a cigarette between his lips, then he knocks on the door. 

“What is it,” the guard asks.

“Got a light?”

The officer seems hesitant before he closes the door and follows Levi as he walks away.

“I could really use a smoke,” the guard says. “Do’ya have one to spare?”

“Yeah,” Levi mumbles.

The guard lights Levi's cigarette and his face shifts from a smile to pure fear right in front of the flame. Levi slices across the guard's neck before he can react further. Gargling, he tries to drop on top of Levi who just pushes him off the board. 

A hundred soldiers are still downstairs, but Marley won too many wars and got cocky. They underestimated this invasion and didn't send all their men. They want Zeke and Levi to get rid of the threat before sending a full army. They should've gotten rid of Levi instead.

Levi walks into the meeting room and hits the guard with his own rifle before stabbing his eye. He darts across the room and stabs Officer Reynard in the chest before taking the whiskey glass in his quaking hands and launching it at Turner’s face. A scream like a newborn echoes out of his throat, but Levi shuts him up with a kick in the face and his blade through Turner’s neck. 

Reynard is still coughing blood, red bubbles coming out of his mouth. He touches his chest and looks down at his bloody hands. Levi stands next to him and stares into his eyes; killing him would be too kind. He notices something in Reynard's waist and forces it out. A suppressed pistol. Not his cup of tea, but will make the job easier. He shoots the dying guard by the door in the face before walking out.

Levi doesn't take pride in killing in cold blood but there's no other way. He's alone on a ship filled with enemies, and he needs this done sooner rather than later. 

He can already see Paradis in the distance. There's a fine rain trickling down from the sky and Levi takes a deep breath in. He won't see his mother over there; she's long gone. Isabel and Farlan live in his memories but he fears he's already forgotten their voices; he can barely remember Isabel's laugh, there were times he thought he saw her in Lara but it was only nostalgia. He doesn't want to have a normal life, he doesn't want to dream.  He just wants to fight for what's worth living for. He trusts Erwin will do the right thing for these people. He believes there's hope.

Levi moves from room to room shooting soldiers, guards, and officers. Some are too drunk to realize what's happening, others have let their guard down and are lost in thought. Most of them were just sleeping. 

He reaches the bridge of the vessel, where the navigators are. Two are on shift, and the other two are smoking in the back room, and Levi deals with all of them. He pulls a lever that sets the ship to high speed. 

The captain is in his quarters, rubbing one out. Levi shoots him once in the back of the head and runs out of ammo. He throws the pistol aside and walks out. The floor has been cleared out.

He leaves Gerst for last. If he can't rejoice in killing Zeke tonight, he will delight in watching this fat fuck bleed to death. 

Levi finds Gerst snoring in his bed, clothed in just his underwear. The light is still on, glowing off the expensive furniture he’d requested for the journey. A wooden dresser, a bookcase filled with books he probably doesn’t read, a ceramic sink, and a desk where he pretends to work.

Levi rummages through the drawers until he finds a couple of belts to tie Gerst’s feet and hands to the bed. There's a chest next to his desk filled with cases with syringes, Zeke's spinal fluid inside them. It makes him sick to his stomach.

He sits on top of Gerst and slaps his face three times until the bastard wakes up. His breath reeks of whiskey and cigars. Before he is fully aware, Levi shoves a sock down his throat to shut him up. He tries to scream but it’s muffled, no one outside the room can hear him. When he sees Levi's shiv, his eyes scream, going wide with fear.

“Your crew's dead,” Levi says hoarsely. “Shot them in the head while they were asleep. Sliced their throats, scooped their eyes out.”

The last one isn't true but it scares Gerst just as expected. He sniffles and moans, shaking his head, already sweating like the pig he is. He's kicking his legs, trying to break free. He's strong enough to do it; even if it hurts him in the struggle, the belts will break eventually.

Levi stabs a syringe into one of Gerst's tits and plunges, pulling more nasty sounds out of him.

“People like you never think about the consequences of their actions,” Levi says, gripping Gerst's face and slapping him to keep his attention. “Filthy fat fuck.”

Levi sits back, taking another serum out of the case. He opens it on top of Gerst's chest who keeps shaking his head.

“You just fucking love your job,” Levi says, stabbing the serum into his other tit. 

Gerst's screams are so loud, they can't be muffled with the sock anymore. 

“Do you even know what it feels like?” Levi asks. “To turn?”

Gerst shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut as tears drip down his face. Levi takes his shiv and grips Gerst's face to make him look.

“Have you ever listened to a shifter saying how it feels?” Levi runs the tip of the knife across Gerst's chest. “They say it feels like having your skin ripped off.”

Gerts screams again, he’s howling but Levi pays it no mind. He's glad to see Gerst like this, to hear his pain. He digs his knife in and slices enough skin to take a hold of it. Then, he keeps cutting, flaying the flesh off Gert's chest.

“A shot in the head would be too easy,” Levi says nonchalantly, pulling the skin. The sound of skin tearing is lost amongst the screams. 

He takes the sliced piece of skin and shoves it into Gerst's mouth, forcing the sock deeper down his throat. He takes three more serum syringes and stabs Gerst with them, plunging them too.

Gerst's body begins to convulse; he coughs and gargles, almost spitting the sock and flesh at Levi while white foam gushes out of his nose.

“You'll rot in this ship. Bleed out in piss and shit,” Levi spits out. “And nobody will even bury you. They won't want to touch you. They'll leave this ship to sink, and you'll sink with it.”

Now

Levi crouches on a tree branch and shouts orders. He tells the young soldiers to keep their heads straight, to lift their knees, to move their hips forward. They aren't bad, but they aren’t that good either. Mikasa is the best, and that gives Levi hope. Behind that hope lies the questions of whether they are related, if she's another of Kenny's offsprings if there are more of them out there.

Eren looks nothing like his brother but sounds just like him. He thinks he can do everything himself. He doesn’t take orders, he doesn’t listen to his friends. He won't get anything done if he doesn't focus. Levi wonders if that's the shifter within him or if that's just who he is. 

Zeke always liked to feel smarter than everyone else in the room, and having Erwin close by only reminded him of how stupid he was. Too passionate and impatient. He loved pretending he had things figured out but Levi always saw the true fear behind his shitty glasses.

Mikasa stands near Eren. She runs after him if he falls and helps him to his feet. She does her stunts and turns around to follow him with her gaze. She says his name too many times for comfort. Levi wonders if he sounds as stupid when Erwin gets near him.

A grapple hooks on a nearby tree and Erwin swings his way up. He's agitated, wiping the sweat off his forehead, a big blinding grin directed at Levi.

“You've gotten better,” he tells Erwin. He never imagined watching Erwin move across trees like he did while they escaped the ship.

“I had a good teacher.”

“We need to go back to the ship,” Levi says. “Finish them off. Recruit those who are smart enough. Get our new gear.”

Erwin's grin is gone, he looks down at the soldiers. “We can't. Not without dealing with them first,” he answers, nodding at the Warriors.

Reiner and Bertholdt are staring back at them, so Levi drops to the ground. He walks towards them, intimidating on purpose. No matter how tall they might be, they can tell Levi can crush them to pieces.

“Who told you it was time to take a break?” Levi asks, leaving them speechless. “Get your asses over there and work for it if you wanna get back home.”

“S-ir,” Bertholdt stutters.

“This isn't over yet,” Levi says. “We're nowhere near the finish line.”

“Yes, sir,” Reiner salutes, running away to shoot his grapple and continue his training.

Dinner is ready before the sun sets. The food is awful and Levi demands the soldiers at his table to clean up after themselves. He fetches a couple of brooms and orders them to sweep while he gathers the leftovers to feed to the farm animals. Erwin removes the spider webs from every corner and crevice of the wood, quietly and diligently. 

He's too quiet when he's not in an office doing his thing and Levi misses his voice. It'd be nice to share another dance with him, another deep talk like they did in Hizuru. Levi spends all day wishing to hold Erwin's arms, to sink into his chest. But there's still a long stretch for bedtime.

Everyone is tired and grumbling after the dining hall is clean. Levi threatens to make them clean up the whole barracks before the end of the week.

The showers are packed after that. Men and women chitchat under the water, asking for soap, brushing each other's backs, and cracking up. Erwin is in there too, smiling wide, explaining something to someone, making gestures with his hands. Levi doesn't join, he stays in a corner and keeps to himself. He peeks at Erwin's naked body from time to time; sometimes relieved to see him, sometimes worried about the state of his bruises and scratches. They are together now but never in private and he feels just as far as Marley sometimes. He wishes they could be alone together.

At night, they put on their sleeping clothes and go to bed. Levi crawls next to Erwin and under his covers, and sleeps with his head on Erwin’s chest, close to his heart. He won't allow being too far from him ever again. He thinks that Reiner and Bertholdt might have to die to make sure of that after all.

Armin is the one to wake them up in the morning. Nanaba will have the soldiers clean the barracks under Levi's orders, and they will use that as a cover to speak with Erwin. The soldiers should be spread out and it should be hard to spot, chase, and eavesdrop, but Armin will stay alert nonetheless. Hange will too.

“See you tonight,” Erwin says, squeezing Levi's shoulder and smiling at him.

Levi doesn't answer, he trusts Erwin's words.

The day goes by fast. Levi helps every soldier clean to his expectations, which means going over what they already cleaned, sometimes three times. They cannot discern filth from sanitation. But Levi will make something good out of them. 

He likes being surrounded by peers, he doesn't miss being isolated in a mansion, pretending to enjoy his life just because he had dinner served and good quality tea. Here, he feels heard, and even if some soldiers throw tantrums, they are honest, they are speaking their minds. They are not following orders out of fear—not the fear of being turned into a pure titan, at least. Those who are more diligent ask questions, try hard to make things right, to get this place in a good state.

“Sir, the mops are not useful for the shower floor,” Jean tells him. “There's this… gooey substance that we can't get rid of.”

“It's soap,” Levi says. “Soap from who the fuck knows how many years.”

“More than you'd like to know, sir,” Jean answers, visibly embarrassed.

“Get some brushes,” Levi orders. “We're gonna scrub.”

Levi gathers a few soldiers specially for this task and picks Reiner and Bertholdt to make sure they don't escape his sight. Krista volunteers too, and Ymir joins right after her. 

The scrubbing is hard, nasty work and there's no escaping it. The floor, the walls, and the ceiling need cleaning. He tells one of them to get a ladder. He suddenly misses his wash gloves. Whenever Bert forgot to clean under his bed or inside his wardrobe, Levi was ready to get his hands to work. Cleaning his room was the only thing that would bring him some pleasure back then.

When Jean and Eren get into a fight about who has to clean the stables after lunch, Levi has to punch them: one in the stomach and the other in the face. They have nothing to do other than calm down because they are breathless on the floor. Levi can feel Mikasa's gaze burning on the back of his head. 

Lunch is uncomfortable because every soldier sits next to him and they don't leave room for Erwin. They don't talk to him but it still feels like they are keeping him company. Levi doesn't understand why; he's the new guy and he's been nothing but shitty and demanding towards them. They should hate him. They should want nothing but to be away from him. 

Hange scoots closer, pushing a soldier aside and they bump Levi's arm, making him grumble.

“I have so many questions, grumpy boy.”

“Talk to Erwin.”

“Yeah, exactly. What is up with him?”

Levi frowns quizzically; he doesn’t know what Hange means. They are too close and smell bad, there's sweat dripping down their face and their hair is even messier up close.

“I mean,” they say, whispering. “You got here together, he was half naked, holding you against his chest, sobbing. Then he insisted on being by your side as you recovered, not taking his eyes off of you, always kissing your forehead.”

“Tch,” Levi exclaims, taking a hand to his forehead as if he could feel the ghost of Erwin's kisses. “You know all about him already.”

“You sleep together but then you’re not really together, are you?”

Levi puts the cutlery down, exasperated. He doesn't like where this is going.

“Have you guys even had sex yet?”

Levi acts too quickly for his own good, gripping Hange’s collar and yanking, slamming their face against the table. Everyone around them stands up startled and stares, but no one dares to walk any closer.

“Wow, wow, it’s okay,” Hange says, raising their arms and grinning widely, face pressed against the table. “This is what I get for being too curious!”

“Mind your business,” Levi seethes, letting go.

Hange sits back up, adjusting their shirt, their shitting grin still in place. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“Is it true what they say?” A soldier asks while they do the dishes. She's got short red hair and a lovely smile.

“What do they say, Petra?” He likes saying her name. It's such a strong name for someone as nice as her.

“That you're from… the Underground,” she whispers.

“Yeah, that's true,” he answers.

“What's that like? I'm sure people exaggerate. They say the most horrible things about living there.”

“The most horrible things you can think about happen down there,” he says. 

“Oh.”

“I'm glad I don't live down there anymore. I'd rather be cleaning this shit hole,” he tells her. 

He will avoid going into details; he won't tell her how many times the nobles came down from the capitol just to buy boys from mothers who couldn't take care of them. How putrid the food was and how easy it was to get stabbed and die from an infected wound. She's seen enough horrors by going outside the walls, and Levi hopes that's the worst she'll ever see. 

“Don't worry about Captain Hange,” she says. “You're not the first one to punch them. They…”

“Are obnoxious as fuck.”

“Yeah,” she chuckles. “But they are kind and they… have always protected us.”

“You're kind too,” he says. “Not obnoxious.”

Petra clears her throat and looks away, nodding. “Thank you, sir.”

After lunch, it's time for stable duty. Levi thinks back to those beautiful horses he had the pleasure of riding across the big gardens behind the Tybur mansion. He remembers how well-trained they were, how lovely it felt to have the wind hit his face, to feel light, how badly he wanted to share those times with anyone but the Tyburs.

The smell coming out of the stables is foul. He understands why Hange never brought them close. The horses are in bad shape, too, it doesn't look as though they are groomed enough. Cleaning manure is no easy job, but it's their priority. By the time they are done, the sun is gone and it's dinner time. 

Everyone is calm—probably exhausted—, they avoid making a mess. They don't want to clean up again, because they know how hard it is to keep things clean. 

Erwin and Hange sit by his side now, excited to discuss gear and uniform technology, something to make clothes lighter, to help move through the air faster. Hange talks too much, too fast, too loudly. Erwin follows easily. It should be infuriating but it isn't. It's nice to listen to Erwin be so enthusiastic, so free. It seems Nanaba allowed him to write; he's got a notebook in his hands and there are black patches of ink on his fingers.

After a shower, they go to bed together again. Erwin doesn't tell him he's too close, he doesn't say he needs to leave, and he doesn't push Levi away. He hugs him tightly and pulls him close. He says good night and presses his cheek against Levi's head. He holds Levi's hand over his chest. He also snores.

Erwin meets up with the Warriors in a secret spot. He tells them they can't keep wasting time, and that the Corps can't do anything against the powers of the shifters—that they need to capture Eren and make a run for it. 

The Warriors don't seem to understand the importance of missing the Jaw titan, and Erwin uses that in his favour. He knows they are desperate. He knows they want to end this as soon as possible.

The barracks are completely clean and nobody is complaining; it already looks like a much better place to live in. It will take some time to build up a routine, but Levi will make sure it happens. These soldiers are the future of Paradis and, with their help, Erwin will be able to make sure Marley never kills another Eldian.

Routine keeps everyone moving, entertained; the lies keep the Warriors at ease. They are talking ODM upgrades before dinner so Hange invites Erwin and Levi to their lab, that's what they call it. It's down by the basement and it's the only place in the barracks Levi had yet to visit and he wishes he never did.

The place smells like death. There are jars full of brown liquids and Levi can swear things are moving in them. Scissors, knives and sharp objects of all sizes hang from the wall, others are scattered around.

“Holy fucking shit, four eyes,” he mutters. 

“Now this is my safe space,” Hange says. “You ain't allowed to touch anything in here.”

“Do you torture people down here? What the fuck?”

“It hasn't come to that… yet,” they answer with a smirk. “But come over here. Moblit has been working on some designs for our uniforms following Erwin's suggestions.”

“Can we discuss them where there's air we can breathe?” Levi asks, covering his nose with a handkerchief.

“Wow, so much for being Humanity's Strongest,” Hange says mockingly.

Levi grumbles and sends a piercing gaze to Erwin’s way. There was no need to share what the press used to say about him on the other side of the ocean. It's almost as if Erwin enjoys embarrassing him, telling everyone that Levi is a great soldier and the best he's ever seen. Levi doesn't want the fame; he didn't want it in Marley and he doesn't want it here.

They move to Nanana's office to discuss things properly. Moblit is a sharp guy and his designs are impressive, but Levi doesn't like them. The SC uniform is too bulky, just like the one they used in Marley. There's no use in keeping the boots or the jackets. These uniforms are not prepared for war, they are not prepared to perform a sneak attack. They cannot protect against bullets either. Erwin agrees.

“Anti-bullet gear would be too heavy,” Hange says. “We would be lacking speed.”

“I'm not saying it's a solution,” Levi answers. “I'm saying we have to keep it in mind. If they attack with titans and guns, we won't be ready to take on both.”

“Something tells me guns would be more dangerous if they fire as rapidly as you suggest,” Moblit says.

“Automatic rifles are one of the most dangerous and efficient guns Marley is using at the moment,” Erwin says. “I doubt it will be easy for them to bring tanks over. But the Cart titan could certainly prove useful for that.”

Levi lets out a deep sigh, getting up from his chair. He's not made for strategic talk. He's of no use in a room like this, he's only useful in the field where he can put his hands to work. Like he used to do in the Underground, like he did during the Valerica Great War. Like he did on that ship a few days ago.

He walks towards a gramophone placed in one corner of the room and winds it up. He's already seen it while cleaning this office and his favourite song. He won't get one like it over here but maybe he'll find a new one. Something nice to dance to.

“What if we put these Warriors under the ground?” Hange asks. “Would they be able to shift without room to do it?”

“I could not say,” Erwin answers, finding Levi's gaze with a subtle smile. “They are trained to survive highly dangerous situations,” he says, looking back at Hange. “But considering the power of the Colossal, it's possible that if they are both in the same hole, shifting would be a threat.”

“Would they kill each other?” Moblit asks.

“They are like brothers. With everything they've gone through, I doubt they would hurt each other in any way.”

“Okay, we need to work on a couple of things then,” Hange says, getting up. “No use doing it on an empty stomach. “We're burning the midnight oil Mob!” They exclaim, palming Moblit on the back.

“When haven't we?” he asks.

They leave for the diner but Erwin remains, walking towards Levi instead.

“I'll have to visit this office often to listen to this,” Levi tells him.

“Already a favourite?”

Levi shrugs. “Dunno, I haven't listened to anything for a while.”

“No dancing either?” Erwin asks, reaching with his hand. His eyes soft, his smile wide.

Levi holds Erwin's hand and moves closer, wrapping an arm around Erwin's waist and resting against his chest. 

It's as peaceful as it can be as they sway from side to side and Levi can already tell he likes this song. A lady signs in a delicate accent that makes his stomach feel light.

Erwin's chest smells nice, the soft fabric of his shirt makes Levi snuggle closer yet, as if he could just be buried inside Erwin's clothes, in his warmth and scent. 

“No twirls?” Erwin asks.

Levi huffs a laugh, looking up. “You overdo them.”

 A smile grows on Erwin's plump lips. “I merely try my best.”

Levi's throat gets tight under his gaze. Erwin's hair shines like gold in the flickering oil light. His hands feel so big around Levi's waist.

Levi stands on his tiptoes, staring right into Erwin's lips. This has gone wrong before but Levi's nothing if not resilient. He holds a tight grip on Erwin's shirt for good measure because he can't let him get away again; he can't take it. They've come too far. They've gone through too much. They owe it to each other.

Erwin doesn't push Levi away this time, instead, he accepts it, finally, hesitant; almost as if he knew this was coming but still wasn't ready for it.

It's a soft peck at first, almost dry, almost coy. So Levi tugs Erwin's shirt to get him closer, to kiss him deeper. He opens his mouth to reach further and Erwin follows along. It's a soft kiss, their tongues grasp each other before Levi sucks on Erwin's bottom lip. It's rich.

One of Erwin's hands holds Levi's waist tighter as if he feared the embrace could break and leave them stranded; the other moves to Levi's chest and creeps into his open collar to caress his collarbones. It's a kiss like Levi’s never had. Erwin tastes sweet and familiar, yet new and overwhelming. Like good quality tea, it takes Levi by surprise but he knows there's nothing like it. He wants more and he's not even done with it.

“Hey, guys!” Hange's loud voice echoes through the hallway. 

They break the kiss quickly, the door is open and Hange's face peeks inside.

“Come on,” they say, grinning, looking at Erwin's hand that still remains in Levi's lower back. “Let's get dinner. You don't want the commander to find you in here.”

“Tch, nosy!” Levi growls. “Get out!”

Hange gives them one last big smile before walking out.

Levi's chest burns, he feels heat creeping up his neck, his insides are melting. It feels like fear but it isn't, it's something else. Erwin turns around to cup Levi's face with both hands and places a long wet kiss on his lips.

“We'll continue this tonight, okay?” He asks, walking out.

“Tonight?” Levi asks, confused, following Erwin's steps. “It’s fucking nighttime already!”

Erwin smiles over his shoulder and picks up the pace, walking down the hallway towards the diner. The loud voices of the soldiers can be heard from outside and Levi dreads it. He doesn't want to go in, he doesn't want to be there. He wants to have Erwin for himself more than ever, he doesn't want to wait. This is torture.

Chapter Text

Last Night

Levi can barely eat. He takes a few small bites of his potatoes while tapping his foot on the floor. He stops when his stomach starts churning. He has no appetite whatsoever—not for potatoes anyway. The waiting is terrible; Levi doesn’t understand where Erwin finds his patience. Maybe he doesn't want this as much as Levi does. Maybe this is his way of getting out of it easily. Maybe tonight, Levi will have to sleep on the top bunk.

The chattering in the showers is overwhelming and Levi keeps to himself in one of the corners. He peeks at Erwin from time to time who acts as if nothing has ever happened, talking to Hange and Moblit, smiling. Levi leaves as soon as he can, before everyone else.

Down the hallway to the bedrooms, Levi listens to footsteps behind him, heavy and certain. He peeks over his shoulder to find Erwin; it makes him shiver. Anticipation doesn't usually make Levi nervous, but this time, his thoughts are coated with longing and expectations, a dash of nostalgia that takes Levi back to Erwin's big eyes and delicate hands taking care of his wounds. The little boy who wore pyjamas too big and ragged, and kept newspapers with Levi's face by the nightstand.

The room feels huge as Levi takes his shirt off and folds it. He takes his boots off and sets them aside. Click goes the door behind him.

Erwin is silent as he undresses, it feels tense. Chest bare, they stare at each other for a second before putting their sleeping shirts on. Off go their pants and Levi sees that Erwin is rock-hard in his underwear; they put their pyjama pants on. 

It's too quiet to bear, too hard to read, so Levi quickly crawls into bed. Erwin follows, only to sit by the edge, looking down at his hands.

“What are you doing?” Levi asks.

“I don't know what to do,” Erwin answers.

Levi yanks his shirt, forcing him on his back. “You said we'd continue what happened tonight. This is it.” He tugs again to make Erwin turn on his side.

The dim lights make everything feel warm; there's noise down the hallway, voices, laughs.

“Don't do this to me,” Levi says.

“I’m—”

“Don't say it.” Levi puts a finger on Erwin's soft lips; he's agitated, his breath is hot against the tip of Levi's index. 

He takes it away to peck Erwin's lips once. 

“Just let me,” Levi whispers, placing another chaste kiss. Then another. He moves to the rest of Erwin's face, his thick cheekbones and sturdy nose, the square edges on it.

Erwin finally gives in, lifting a hand to hold Levi's face, searching for his lips again.

“You taste so good,” Erwin says, words that pull a soft moan out of Levi. “You're so soft.”

“Fuck, Erwin,” Levi whines, taking every kiss like a thirsty man. “I knew,” he says. “I knew you wanted this too.”

“I didn't know,” Erwin answers. “I didn't know. I never liked anyone like this.”

“Fuck,” Levi breathes out because hearing those words from Erwin is too much. “Come here please,” he says, yanking from Erwin's shirt to take him on top. “Fucking… crush me.”

Erwin's hands dig under Levi's shirt and his lips press sweet kisses all over Levi's skin; his forehead and temple, his lips and chin, his neck and chest. Levi rakes his fingers through Erwin's hair, the weight of his body leaves him breathless. Erwin’s hard cock is against his thigh. It makes him desperate, he needs to move faster, he needs to take control. He wishes Erwin would do that for him but he's too slow, too calm, too patient.

His big, warm hand rests against Levi's face; his bright blue eyes stare into him even in the dark. “How long have you wanted this?” Erwin asks.

“Since forever,” Levi answers in a trance. “Stupid,” he mutters.

Levi's grip on Erwin's shirt is so strong, he wonders if he could rip it off in one go.

“I've hurt you so much,” Erwin says, resting his lips on Levi's.

“You haven't,” he answers, kissing back. “You've given me hope.”

“I tricked you. I lied.”

“Stop,” Levi says, pushing Erwin to the side before he ruins it. “Fucking shut up.” He gets on top and forces Erwin's shirt off of him.

The candlelight makes everything feel dreamy. The sight of his chest brings Levi comfort. He could sleep on it every night. The soft golden hairs sparkle like fire. Levi buries his face in it, to lick and bite, to mark. He's got Erwin now and nothing will change his mind. There's nothing Erwin has ever done wrong, Levi knows him to his core. Everything Levi has done, everything he endured was for Erwin, how much more can he do to prove his blind trust?

Erwin lets out a muted moan when Levi bites his nipple, so he stays there. He moves his hands across Erwin's skin and scratches. It feels good to rip those noises out of Erwin, to destroy his otherwise stoic persona. 

Leon chooses that moment to walk into the room screaming and laughing; the doorknob makes a loud clank, startling Levi even further as he crawls back next to Erwin and covers both of them under the sheets.

Günter follows Leon. He shuts the door forcefully and tells Leon to move out of his bed. They talk loudly as if they don't even notice Erwin and Levi are there. Leon says he's not sleepy and Günter sends him packing. Another loud clank as he shuts the door; Günter changes clothes and blows the candles out, leaving the room in darkness.

Levi's anxious and annoyed. There might not be another peaceful place for them to be together, to talk and kiss, to touch each other like this.

Erwin turns to embrace him, his broad chest against Levi's back. He's not stepping back from this and now his hard cock is pressed against Levi's ass. It makes it impossible to keep quiet. Levi puts a hand to his mouth and braces the other against the wall. Erwin's hands sneak under Levi's shirt to caress him, gripping his flesh, bringing them closer. His lips are pressed on the crown of Levi's head, his hot breath is making Levi's brain boil. His cock is so hard that it might rip through their clothes.

Levi flips to face Erwin, desperate for more of his lips. They are so close that they are already sweating. There's too much of everything and too little of what Levi craves most. He nibbles Erwin's neck and licks his collarbones. In the dark, he finds Erwin's chin and moves higher up. Levi licks into Erwin's mouth to find nothing but his hot breathing. It takes a few seconds for Erwin to welcome the kiss, almost as if he wasn't expecting it.

But Levi knows what's coming, he knows what he wants, he knows what to do, so he digs his hand into Erwin's pants to take hold of his cock.

Erwin's moan comes out loud and unfiltered and Levi immediately stops. The lack of prudence makes Levi want to laugh just as much as he wants to hear more of that.

“Fuck, guys,” Günter grunts. “Are you done already with all the moaning and rustling?”

Erwin sits up quickly, fetching his shirt. Levi can see the shape of his body as the moon outlines his figure. He gets up and walks out of the room so Levi chases after him, closing the door behind them.

“Where are you going?” He asks, holding a tight grip on Erwin's wrist. The hallway is cold and his voice echoes around them. They don’t even have shoes on.

“To get some fresh air.”

“Tch, fresh air my ass,” Levi scolds, tugging Erwin's arm to take him in the opposite direction. They stop under the far stairwell, between crates filled with wheat and vegetables.

“Take me, Erwin,” Levi snarls, pushing him against the wall. “Come on!”

Their hands are everywhere, crawling under their clothes as they kiss, gripping skin, biting lips. Levi could almost climb this man; he wants nothing but to be on top of him and own him, to enjoy him to the fullest, to stop wasting time.

He jumps up to wrap his legs around Erwin's waist, to get their cocks closer, to grind against him.

“I want you, Erwin,” he whines as low as he can.

“I don't know,” Erwin breathes out, hands caressing Levi’s back. “I don't know what to do.”

“Fuck!” Levi snarls, gripping Erwin’s face. “Would you know what to do if I was a fucking map?” He snaps. “If I was sprawled out naked on a fucking desk?”

“Ha! Yes!” Erwin moans.

“Is that what you need?” Levi asks against Erwin's ear, moving his hips desperately. “Would you take me then?”

“I'd take you anywhere,” Erwin answers.

“Fucking do it then,” Levi snarls, dropping back on the floor and turning around. He stands on his tiptoes and presses his ass against Erwin's rock-hard cock, biting the back of his hand to swallow a moan.

Steps come down the stairs and they stand still; Levi holds his breath, shielded under Erwin's big frame. They wait it out, unaware if the soldier spotted them or not, but they pick right up where they left off.

Levi lowers his pants to press his naked ass against Erwin, he takes Erwin’s hands and forces him to touch it. Erwin growls and grabs him firmly. He takes his cock out, pressing it against Levi. It’s hotter than the rest of Erwin and it sets right between Levi’s buttcheeks as Erwin lowers his body to bury his face on Levi's neck. He holds Levi's waist, pressing his leaking cock against Levi’s ass. Erwin's growls reverberate on his back. He can barely keep quiet.

Erwin doesn't last long, he moans and fucks Levi's skin anyway he can, grinding against him and putting so much force it could hurt. It would hurt if Levi didn't want it this much.

His lower back is smeared in Erwin's fluids in a matter of seconds; Levi holds Erwin's face close to muffle his moaning and lets him take his time to come out of it.

“Levi,” Erwin breathes out, still trembling against him. “Levi,” he repeats and swallows loudly.

Levi won't let him apologise for this, he takes hold of one of Erwin's hands and wraps it around his cock. The touch makes him shake with excitement as Erwin holds him gently, but nervously.

“Touch me, fucking… touch me, Erwin,” he pleads.

He fucks Erwin's fist before he can even oblige and feels no shame for it. 

“Stay like that, fuck,” Levi says through gritted teeth. “Keep at it, please, fuck,” he moans, choking on his words, exploding against the wall and losing all his strength.

Around them, as their breathing gets back to normal, the cicadas and footsteps get louder; the voices in the other rooms, Hange's laugh somewhere outside.

Erwin moves away and cleans Levi's back using his own shirt. It feels cold and gooey, not as hot as it did moments ago, but Levi lets him. He turns around to find Erwin cleaning his cock, he's being too quiet, too pensive.

“We need to clean the wall too,” Levi says and it pulls a chuckle out of Erwin that comforts him. “I'll wash this myself,” he adds, fetching Erwin's shirt.

They sprint to their room to avoid giving any explanations as to why Erwin's chest is bare and why their pants are wet. There aren't many clothes to change into, the Corps don't excel in commodities and they rarely have any extra clothes or gear for their soldiers. There's only one more pyjama set in the dresser and they share it. Erwin wears the clean pants and Levi the shirt. They whisper as they decide even though it's unlikely that Günter is asleep, they've already annoyed him enough. They get back in the bed and hug, they kiss, they get hard again. Erwin's chest is warm and sturdy and Levi doesn't have any pants on. It's not easy to keep their hands off each other. 

“Shut uup!” Günter grumbles.

“Fuck off,” Levi snarls.

“He's right,” Erwin whispers. “I should go to the top bunk.”

“No!” Levi says, quietly but desperately.

“Yes, fucking leave!”

Erwin stifles a laugh as he gets out of bed, and Levi gets up right after him. With Günter annoyed and bickering, they put some boots on and whatever part of the uniform they needed to dress up entirely and walk out of the room. Levi has no idea where they can go but he's taking Erwin anywhere necessary.

This Morning

Hange drops a small bag that rattles in front of Levi and smiles. He's sleepy, barely able to keep focus, barely eating any breakfast and the brats are so loud in this damn diner.

“What's this?” he asks. The cloth bag is dirty, he doesn't want it anywhere near him.

“Your salary,” Hange says.

“Salary?”

“Yeah. Money for your work.”

“I know what a salary is.”

“Then why the fuck you ask?”

“Tch. Where's Erwin?” he asks.

Hange shrugs. “Doing his own thing. Saw him staring at the cattle like a weirdo earlier, then he walked to the forest with Reiner and Bertholdt,” they explain, sitting beside Levi. They grab bread from the soldier in front of them while they aren't looking. “Anyway, you've been paid for the amount of days you've worked here.”

“I don't need the money.”

“I don't give a shit, it's yours,” Hange answers, chewing. “Besides, don't you wanna buy anything? Like… I don't know what you like… tea? Erwin?”

Levi shifts in his seat. He'd really like some tea for himself. He's already in charge of breakfast tea because everyone else here is so bad at making it; they burn it consistently. He'd like to buy some good quality tea he could brew for him and Erwin before bed.

“I don't know how much things are worth,” he says.

Hange shrugs. “It's your free day. Go find out.”

Levi taps his foot nervously on the floor. He'd like to know where Erwin is. He doesn't need a day off because he's got nowhere to go. But if Erwin isn't going to be available, then Levi might enjoy going outside to buy something and surprise him. The Corps are short on money so there can't be much he can buy. 

Outside, some soldiers are already mounting their horses to leave. Petra tells Levi she's visiting her father and that they would happily have him over at their place if he has nothing else to do, but Levi refuses.

Erwin's nowhere to be seen and that’s not news. He's always doing his thing, scheming on his own, setting things up. Levi just can't shake off the awful image of Erwin in cuffs with his face smashed before leaving that ship in Marley. He trusts the Corps enough to know that's not why Erwin's missing.

Levi sneaks into the armoury to put on the ODM gear assigned to him, wishing he could use the one they brought from Marley, but it's hidden from the rest of the soldiers. He sprints to the stables and mounts his horse, riding away from the barracks.

He visits Stohess without knowing what to expect; he’s barely visited the Trost market district. Back then, he had to stand fucking Wald, telling him he would break Levi's neck if he tried something stupid. It would've been nice to end him right then and there.

Levi ties his horse to a post close by and walks around. The houses are small and traditional, Levi’s been here before when sneaking out of the Underground from time to time. The market is only open during the day and there are all kinds of little shops, one next to the other, selling all types of fruit. He never did any shopping while he lived in Marley; it was all done for him, he didn't have the power of choice.

There's a tall, gorgeous red-haired woman selling jewellery and Levi can't take his eyes off the earrings and bracelets for sale, but he would never spend money on things like that; he misses some of the trinkets he had on his suits. He misses looking sharp. 

Everything that's pretty around here is too expensive, and Levi decides that if he's buying Erwin a present then he will do it when he earns more money. Besides, in the little shops at the far end, Levi finds a lovely piece of clothing he would rather buy; a cute, soft cravat that he can barely afford but the lovely lady owner gives him a small discount.

He leaves Stohess but doesn't ride back. He came all the way here with something else in mind and the entrance to the Underground is right next to this city. The two Military Police standing by it look at Levi weirdly as he ties his horse and approaches them.

“Got any business here, scout?” one of them asks.

“The fuck do you care?” 

The guard looks at his colleague with a smirk. “Look, brother,” he says. “They are going to eat you up down there. Better stay here where you’re safe, okay?”

“I don’t need your permission to go down there. I know that so move out of the fucking way.”

The guard scoffs as Levi walks past him. “They are going to fuck up that pretty face of yours! And we’re not going down there to save you!”

There’s nobody within these walls that the Military Police could ever save. They only keep guard here as a charade; they don’t care how many kids and women are taken out for the fun of the rich.

He takes his jacket off as he walks down the steep stairs and the smell immediately makes him heave. He's sure that remembering it so clearly is what makes it worse. He didn't miss this at all. He can barely breathe down here and the air is as stale as ever. 

There's a pillar nearby so before walking to the bottom of the stairs, Levi shoots his grapple and flies away. He doesn't want to walk the streets; he doesn't want to fight anyone. Looking at everything from above is somehow unnerving, he remembers swinging around these pillars for practice. Isabel got the hang of it the fastest but never took it seriously.

He feels stupid for ever calling her a knucklehead; she was so young. When Levi found her, he thought she wouldn't make it through the night. Yet she got better quickly and all she wanted to do was play. 

Levi will never forgive himself for putting her to work as a criminal; he should’ve known better after what Kenny did with him. But Levi never had time to think, not until he found himself completely alone in his own giant fancy room, until he saw the number of kids growing up with nothing but hatred. 

The Underground is packed, more than it ever was. Nanaba mentioned that all of the refugees from the towns in Wall Maria were sent down here. The government was probably hoping they would die in the dark so that nobody would see them; but instead, they kept surviving. Levi seldom wonders what would happen to Mitras if everyone in the Underground decided to rise against them; he has dreamt about the bloodshed and satisfaction it would bring them.

Levi flies above what used to be his neighborhood but it’s no longer there. Everything has been expanded; houses on top of houses, next to more houses; everything built with what they could find; men running; kids poking a dead mole rat with a stick; mothers screaming at them.

He swings from pillar to pillar, wondering what he was expecting coming down here. Did Kenny ever come down here again? Has he ever looked for Levi at all? He can't even spot the place where they burnt and buried his mother anymore. Everything feels the same yet it looks so different.

On one of the far walls of this hell, Levi sees another set of steep stairs and swings closer to them. He always wondered if Kenny had come down these stairs when he visited. Now he wonders if he went back up there when he went missing. Only now is he able to consider that maybe Kenny didn't live in the Underground at all. His guns, his boots, his clothes; even his hair gel were uncommon down here.

At the top of the stairs is a thick, barred gate with two guards and two torches beside them. They stare at Levi up and down and then squint at his gear.

“Go back to your prefecture,” one of them says sternly.

“You think you sound scary looking like that?” Levi asks.

The guard scoffs, stepping closer. “I thought you were a kid running from his parents,” he says, chuckling.

“Tch, you MPs jack off too much,” Levi quips, crossing his arms. “You're losing muscle.”

The guard gets closer still, hitting the steel bars with his rifle. “Watch your mouth or you'll end up in jail, asshole!”

“You're not opening this gate on your own.”

“What's that?”

“You're too scared to cross over to this side.”

The guard reaches for his belt, clenching his teeth before his partner stops him. It makes them let their guard down so Levi quickly reaches through the bars, gripping the guard's clothes and tugging. The guard's face hits the steel bars hard and Levi detaches the grapple from his belt to hit the other guard in the head.

They lose their footing, yelling curses but unable to stop Levi from fetching the keys from one of their pockets. He unlocks the door and kicks the guard’s rifle before he can take a shot, then pushes him against the wall. The other guard doesn't even try to fight and starts running away.

Neither of them is a challenge for Levi. He easily manages to knock them to the ground and tie their hands and legs with their own gear and uniform. They can't be older than seventeen, scrawny, and lacking any type of physical strength. They could never defend this place from titans, a waste of soldiers.

“Stop whining,” Levi deadpans, after fastening the belts. “You'll be free once the next watch comes down, isn't that right?”

The guards' mouths are stuffed with their own socks because they were being too noisy, so they can't really answer anymore. 

Their ODM looks barely used, brand new. Levi snatches their gas canisters, puts on one of their jackets, and gets out of there.

The tunnel is long and dark, barely lit by a few torches along the way. The muffling of the guards behind him gets lost under Levi’s steps. He’s agitated, walking fast; something else is tugging inside his chest and he can’t quite put his finger on it. A place like the Underground always forced him to be on high alert but walking into Mitras feels even more eerie.

Levi makes it through the large corridor and the guards on the other end barely have time to ask any questions before he shoots his grapple and flies away, easily outrunning them. He doesn't think they will even try to follow, and hopefully, the roses on his jacket will help with that. Police here don’t have much to do; they guard for show because crime is not a thing on this side of the wall.

The royal palace stands as a testament to the regal stuck-ups that live here. Levi stands on top of a tiled roof and observes the city. Mitras is nothing like he imagined; it’s nothing like the royalty he met in Marley. This place is cleaner and quieter, yet not as fancy. Mount Mitras isn’t as big and imposing as the mountains he saw during his visit to Hizuru either.

 Levi climbs down to walk across the pristine streets. There's barely anyone around, almost as if people were gathered somewhere else, but he can’t imagine where that would be; it irks him to think they are locked inside their houses. He follows a path that takes him to a big park with neat grass and colourful flowers; a big statue of Lord Fritz sitting on his throne stands in the middle, surrounded by a water fountain. The more he walks, the more uncomfortable he feels here. The place has no life; there are no markets, no kids playing around. It's deserted and quiet. It's almost like walking about in Liberio’s internment zone but without any guards patrolling. It feels just as grim and eerie.

Levi can hear the clinking of his gear echoing as he walks through the narrow streets. He tries to peek inside the houses but all the curtains are closed. The cobbled streets look barely used, with no carriages or horses around. It’s almost as if to keep the peace and good image, people need to remain immovable, locked, and quiet. Either that or nobody inhabits these houses. Maybe the population of Mitras is lower than the rest of the cities and only a couple of families live here, leaving everything else as a placeholder. A nice house to look at that will never be lived in. A big, neat park that will never be played in.

He feels too exposed in the daylight, in such an open space. Levi needs darkness to hide or a crowd to go unnoticed; having neither here makes him want to be small and crawl into a corner. He's not sure what he thought he'd find here. He’d escaped the Underground before to sneak into bars, listen to music, and steal some trinkets but they never crossed Sina; they always had a feeling that this place held nothing for them.

There's nothing for him—nothing he finds interesting—so he picks up the pace. The urge to leave makes his stomach churn. He can't go back through that tunnel now, there's a chance the guards were found and someone could be after him. He will have to climb up the wall like he did all those years ago while escaping Paradis with Erwin. Luckily, the closest wall is not as far as Maria was back then, but he needs to get there first.

Something feels off, though, he feels it creeping up his neck. He's always been aware of his surroundings, he knows what to pay attention to. There's nobody around, yet he can't stop listening to footsteps. He can't tell where they come from but they keep following him. Someone is after him but it cannot be the police; they are never this silent.

He shoots a grapple toward a chimney across the streets and reels in, ready to leave but somehow the string on his gear fails, almost throwing him to the ground. He shoots another grapple quickly moving in the opposite direction and does a roll to stand back on his feet.

Levi stands, staring right at the corner of the street, and waits for the stalker to make his appearance. He can feel them close, he can smell them even. Smoke and black pepper, so distinct. This person isn't just after him, this person is making sure he can't leave so he doesn't try to turn around. He wants to see them too, he wants to make sure. And as his figure emerges, Levi can feel fear creeping up his spine. 

There he is, hiding under a brown hat and big jacket, tall and smirking, tanned, hands in his pockets. There are more wrinkles around his eyes than Levi remembers, he's gotten old, but he's still fast and clever, probably just as swift and dangerous. 

“Hey, Levi,” he says. “Haven't really changed much, have ya?”

Levi grits his teeth, he’s not scared anymore, nor confused. He’s full of hatred.

“Kenny.”

Chapter Text

Last night

The linen room is small but it's got everything they need. Privacy and clean sheets. They threw one across the floor and fell on it.

Erwin is unwilling to take his clothes off but Levi is determined. The boots fly off first, and the more they kiss the easier it is to convince Erwin to lose their shirts. 

Levi can't get enough of Erwin, throwing himself on to grind their bodies together, to suck on his neck and chest. The room has gotten so hot and they are both sweaty, but Levi isn’t complaining. He's never enjoyed someone else's body like he enjoys Erwin's. 

His hands travel across Levi's back and head, bringing him closer for another kiss. Levi never would’ve imagined that Erwin liked kissing so much. They bite each other's lips and lick into each other's mouths. Levi's hands wander down Erwin's stomach to get to his pants, desperate to touch him, to feel him hot and throbbing in his hand.

Erwin moans at the mere graze of Levi's fingers around his girth. He touches Erwin slowly and gently, afraid Erwin might get scared and take a step back. His hands travel lower again to cup Erwin's balls, firm; now Levi moans.

“I want to touch you, too,” Erwin says, breathy. It's such a delicate request.

“Do it,” Levi dares him. “Come on. Undress me.”

Erwin moves painfully slowly, his fingers caressing Levi's skin before going for the buttons on his pants. There's barely any light in the room but Levi can see everything clearly, even as the candle threatens to leave them in the darkness within the next hour.

“Take us both,” Levi suggests before Erwin freezes.

His hand is so big and calloused that it makes Levi dizzy. The touch is overwhelming and feeling Erwin's cock against his own will be his demise. Levi doesn't want this to end. Their encounter in the corridor went by so fast and going back to the bedroom was no good.

He rests his head on Erwin's chest and moans alongside him, fucking his fist. He moves his hips and scratches Erwin's arms, desperately.

“Fuck, Erwin,” he whines, trying to keep it down.

“Don't stop, please don't stop,” Erwin begs him, tightening his grip.

“I can't.”

“Please, don't stop.”

Levi can't think, he can't stop moving either. He wants more. He doesn't want to stop and he doesn’t plan to. Erwin tries to kiss him again but it's hard in this position. He leans forward and their lips touch uncomfortably, but they still do it. There has to be a way in which they can experience each other fully. Levi doesn't want to be in this room, he wants a bed, he wants a lamp. He needs to see each and every one of Erwin's expressions, the sweat on his forehead and chest, the way they are leaking on his hand. 

“Touch—touch me,” Levi says desperately. He moves away, peeling their bodies apart and holds Erwin's hand. “Please, fuck. I want you—I want you inside of me.”

“Levi, I…”

Erwin hesitates. Levi is going too fast; he knows it, but he can't help it as he removes his pants. He takes Erwin's hand to his mouth and sucks on his fingers; he takes them deep down his throat and spits on them, then, he puts Erwin's hand between his legs.

“Don't worry,” Levi chants. “Don't worry, just touch me,” he says, helping one of Erwin's fingers slip inside of him. The pressure takes him out of it and he can't keep his moaning under control. “Fuck, yes, Erwin,” he growls.

Like this, kissing is easier, they are closer. Levi leans over Erwin's face and attacks his lips. It must help Erwin feel more comfortable too because he goes with the flow. He holds Levi's face with one hand and lets his finger move on its own. Pure ecstasy. Levi’s losing all his strength; his legs tremble as another curious finger moves tentatively around his hole. Levi moves his ass; he wants it, he wants it all. Erwin is finally free of all the weight Marley put on him. Here, he's a free man, confident and strong. He doesn't need to pretend anymore and it shows. Levi's here for it, he's been waiting for this and he loses his mind when that second finger finally gets inside.

“Ha! Fuck, yes,” he moans, breathing against Erwin's lips. “You know exactly what you're doing,” he says, tugging Erwin's hair, feeling his fingers thrust into him. 

Levi sits up arching his back and lets his mind take it all in. He feels Erwin's fingers fucking him, the other hand caresses his legs. He touches Erwin's chest, he listens to Erwin's breathing. He looks at him, staring intently, analysing Levi's every move as he fucks Erwin's fingers. He can't help it, he's too desperate. He wishes it was his cock, but he's so close.

“Curl them—curl your fingers,” Levi says, wiggling his ass and howling as soon as Erwin does it. “Fuck, yeah!”

Erwin moves just slightly without missing a beat; he holds Levi's waist, calling his attention. He can see Erwin looking at his cock, jumping up and down in the air as Levi moves his ass. Erwin's fingers shoot electricity across his body and Levi's head hangs back. He's so scared of coming without notice and making Erwin dirty, yet he can barely get a grip.

Erwin holds his cock now to make the matter impossible to resist, his huge hand makes Levi feel even hotter, even closer.

“Erwin, fuck—”

“Like this?” He asks.

“Fuck, yes. Like that!” Levi moans, barely able to move anymore. 

He lets Erwin's hands take over. It’s as if he suddenly knows where to touch and how. He either always knew or is a fast learner. He holds Levi's cock tightly and thrusts his fingers into him, touching Levi right where he needs it. The room spins around them and Levi lets out one final, shameful moan before exploding. He tries to be mindful but he doesn't know where to put his hands and Erwin takes care of it, making sure Levi's fully done, touching him until every drop makes it out of him. When he can finally see things clearly, he notices he came all over the clean sheets—though they haven't been clean since they started doing this.

Erwin's fingers leave him and Levi falls to his side, dizzy.

“Are you alright?” Erwin asks.

Levi nods, blinking heavily. He watches Erwin wiping his hands on the sheets and folding the corner to hide the mess Levi left behind.

“I’m not sure about touching you with these hands,” Erwin whispers, scooting closer.

“I don’t mind,” Levi mumbles. He craves nothing but Erwin’s touch right now.

Erwin brushes Levi’s hair back, trying to cup his face without touching him with his fingers too much. He’s gentle, and seems worried, but he’s still hard so Levi goes for it, ready for more.

“You don’t have to,” Erwin tells him, holding his hands. “Come here.”

“But I want to,” Levi answers as Erwin brings their bodies closer to lie back on the floor.

“We have time.”

Levi doesn’t think they have time, it doesn't feel like it. He’s not sure when they will be able to be like this again, to enjoy each other. He doesn't want to waste the few moments they have together. He doesn't want to wake up in the morning and regret not having Erwin’s skin close to him.

Erwin holds Levi’s face and pulls him into an embrace against his chest.. His heart is beating fast and Levi listens to it, letting his body melt. It’s quiet and cold around them, but Erwin keeps him warm with his hands caressing Levi’s arm and back.

The barracks are suddenly quieter, almost as if finally everyone’s gone to bed. Levi can’t tell how long they walked until they found this room or how long they’d been fooling around among kisses and caresses. The candlelight floats in a puddle of melted wax but doesn’t give up; it flickers, making the shadows around them dance.

“Mmm.” Erwin’s humm reverberates all over Levi’s body. “Your skin is as soft as it looks.”

Levi gulps, looking up at Erwin’s face. His eyes are closed; the shape of his nose makes Levi’s mouth water. He shaved this morning and his chin looks so much better than dinner. Levi would happily live kissing that face.

“I’m all scarred,” he says.

Erwin takes Levi’s hand and kisses his fingers. “You’ve fought too much for a lifetime.”

“I have a lot more fighting to do.”

Erwin frowns, looking at him. “Why?”

“War isn’t over. Marley will never stop and Paradis is barely aware of what’s coming. Who’s gonna fight then? These poor kids? The fucking MPs?”

“I shouldn't have brought you into this mess.”

“I’m here because of you, yes,” Levi says. “Because I believe in you. I believe we can do this if you’re in charge. You can free the Eldians from starving in Marley. You can save the people from these walls.”

Erwin doesn’t say anything back. He stares and Levi’s hand on his chest, playing with his fingers.

“We’re here,” Levi tells him. “Just like you said we would be.” he leans on his elbow to look at Erwin’s face up close. He holds Erwin’s hand tight, making him smile. “This is not,” Levi says, clearing his throat, noticing he’s in the nude, he’s been behaving shamelessly too. “This has nothing to do with this,” he explains, nodding at their tangled bodies. “You know that. I trust you. I want to be by your side in this fight.”

Erwin smiles softly, caressing Levi's chin with his knuckles. His hand smells like sex. Levi leans forward, thirsty for his lips. He doesn't want to mix the war with them but the line is already blurry. They got to know each other amongst death; they cleaned blood off each other; they slow-danced while Erwin's father was being sentenced to death.

The kiss is instantly heated. It's probably Levi's fault. Erwin's lips are warm and wet, it's impossible not to suck on them, to kiss and bite them. Erwin's hands grip his thigh and waist, helping him atop and Levi loses it. He licks Erwin's jaw and digs his nose under his ear to breathe him in.

Erwin's hands learn fast as they spread Levi open and a finger runs across from Levi's balls to his ass, he shivers. 

Levi moves lower and lower, unable to control himself. He sucks on Erwin's chest and bites. He licks Erwin's nipples, he touches every muscle on his stomach. When he gets to Erwin's hips, he takes another breath before pulling Erwin's pants down and taking them completely off.

Erwin's body shines in shades of orange under the candlelight. He's breathing heavily, leaning back on his elbows. Levi takes him in, fully naked as he is. 

He slowly kisses Erwin's hairy thighs, caressing his skin, and moving on to his hips. He gently holds Erwin's cock and places his lips against that warm shaft, then he licks, from balls to tip and takes Erwin fully into his mouth.

Erwin twitches under him, his hands holding Levi's head.

“Levi, you don't… have to.”

Levi doesn't answer, his mouth is full. Somehow, of all the things he's always wanted to do with Erwin—to Erwin—Levi never thought about sucking him off. To him this is usually an easy way out of sex, a way to shut someone up, or payment for a favour.

It feels different now. Levi likes the way Erwin tastes as he swallows him down, he likes the way Erwin smells. Levi enjoys looking at his face, his lips agape, his eyebrows peaking towards his hairline. He enjoys the way Erwin's hips move while chasing Levi's lips. It feels good to make Erwin feel good, and that's all Levi wants. For Erwin to be happy, for Erwin to succeed, to relax and enjoy.

Levi gobbles Erwin down, as much as he can because Erwin's big. Drool drips down his fingers as he tries not to choke, speeding up. Erwin's hands caress Levi's head, they follow his movements and encourage him to continue.

Levi pulls off, swallowing all the saliva in his mouth and taking a deep breath before going all in again. Erwin groans, his eyelids getting heavier. Levi manages to find a good rhythm, holding the base tightly and hollowing his cheeks. His stomach feels lighter and lighter the more Erwin breathes, the tighter he holds Levi's hair. 

Erwin doesn't need much more and without any restraint, he moans. It's hoarse, and it leaves his throat like a force that's been building up, holding Levi's head in place to keep himself warm.

Levi would never allow anybody to come in his mouth, least of all swallow it after. But for Erwin he does. He craves it, even; he wants to be the one to savour it and keep it. He wants to cough but manages to take it down. His teeth are sticky but he doesn't let any discomfort show.

He slowly eases Erwin out of his mouth, wiping the saliva off his chin with the back of his hand. He stays there as if waiting for a verdict.

Erwin looks at him and grins lazily, caressing Levi's lower lip, grazing his teeth with the tip of his thumb. 

“You're…” he trails off.

“Did you like it?”

“Yes… a lot,” Erwin answers, cupping Levi's head and bringing him closer to kiss his lips. “You stink of me.”

“Does it bother you?” Levi asks, almost pulling back, but Erwin doesn't let him.

“I don't mind at all,” he says. “You did all of that for me.”

Levi won’t say he’d do anything for Erwin. He will let his actions speak for themselves as he lies on his side to caress his face. 

They look at each other and smile. Erwin’s fingers graze Levi’s skin delicately and Levi’s chest feels light for the thousandth time tonight, remembering how Erwin mentioned his skin was as soft as it looks. 

“Does your wound hurt?” Erwin asks.

“Which one? No, none of them hurt.”

“The one I made.”

Levi huffs. “You need to let that go.”

“I was just curious,” Erwin says. “You got back in action pretty fast.”

“I need to move or else it gets worse. I can’t stay in bed, I get sick.”

Erwin takes a deep breath in and lets it out his nose. “I was obsessed with Ackerman biology when I was a kid,” he says. “I’ve read so many theories, so many myths. Every book and every children’s tale I could put my hands on I would read.”

“Alexander didn’t know shit.”

“I wonder if the Azumabitos knew anything at all. Was anyone ever aware of your regenerative abilities?”

Levi shrugs. “I was never hurt that bad.” He spreads a finger across Erwin's chest, unable to keep away. “Marley wanted me as their war dog; Alexander as his pretty doll. Kyomi too. None of them know shit about me. They just wanted to feel powerful through me.”

Erwin breathes deeply again and looks up at the ceiling. “I was thrilled to know I had gained my officer’s respect enough to go to Paradis and come back with an Ackerman,” he says. “Only I didn't notice that I wasn't getting myself an Ackerman, I was just kidnapping a boy for the country that oppresses my people.”

“You’re nothing like them, Erwin.”

“I might just be worse.”

“Fuck no, you’re not!” Levi exclaims, sitting up to shove Erwin’s chest.

“There’s blood in my hands for every man that died after I took you to those lands.”

“I killed those men myself. Marley did.”

“My father died because I flew too close to the sun.”

“What?”

“Soldiers, friends, neighbours are being tortured right now because I forced you to smuggle me onto this island.”

Levi frowns. “And who’s doing the torturing?”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“To you, it doesn’t,” Levi spits out. “People will always die, Erwin. We're on the right side of this war, finally.” 

Erwin sits up to get closer to Levi, he drapes an arm around him and kisses his shoulder.

“You didn't get this far by pitying yourself,” Levi tells him.

“Words might have brought me to where I am right now,” Erwin says, lips grazing Levi’s skin. “But I’m not embarrassed to say I have no more words left. Life is nothing but anguish; an empty void. Then I look at you, and I see you’re still standing, stronger than any of us.”

“Yeah, I am. I don’t give up,” Levi answers. “And you’re smarter than anyone here. So use that big brain of yours and stop acting stupid.”

Erwin looks up at him and smiles. Only then does Levi notice the candle is out. He looks outside the window; the skies getting clearer, the sun will come up in just a couple of hours.

“We should get back to bed. Günter must be dead asleep by now.”

Erwin huffs a laugh. “I can’t. I’m meeting Reiner and Berthold outside the village. They are anxious… Don’t give me that look.”

Levi frowns, he has no idea what Erwin is talking about. He hates to think Erwin can read him so well.

“You used to look at me like that when I asked you to leave my house at midnight.”

“I’m not begging you to stay,” Levi says, twitching his lips. 

“I appreciate it,” he answers, leaning forward to kiss him. “I’ll see you for breakfast.”

Now

“You've grown,” Kenny says.

His voice is exactly like Levi remembers, gruff and rugged. He's just as tall as Levi remembers too, lanky and gaunt.

Finding Kenny in Mitras feels more eerie than it should, and Levi finally understands what drove him to cross Sina. He wanted to see Kenny, he wanted to understand. He needs answers. Yet now that Kenny's here, Levi just wants to make a run for it.

“Cat got your tongue, runt?” Kenny asks. He doesn't come any closer.

Levi's eyes dart towards the nearest roof; Kenny's not alone.

“You never did the dirty work yourself,” he says.

“Haven't in a long while, no,” Kenny answers. “You shouldn't have hurt my men by the Underground tunnel.”

“Your men? Tch. I thought you were a low-life criminal, too fucked up to raise your own child but turns out you’re even worse. You're an MP.”

Kenny lets out a loud, sardonic laugh. “My own child,” he parrots. “You haven't grown any smarter I see.”

The hairs on Levi's neck stand up as he listens to everything around him. There are at least four people on the roofs, probably two more across the street. Kenny's got gear under his cloak, and surely a gun too.

Levi shifts on his other foot trying to find a good spot to shoot his grapple, somewhere Kenny can't mess with it again or else he's left with nothing but his feet.

“You shouldn't have come here, kiddo,” Kenny tells him, voice low, taking his hands off his pockets. “You leave me with no choice.”

Levi makes a swift turn, shooting his grapple towards the houses on his rear. He lets the gear reel him in before reaching the corner and then speeds up, sprinting away from the area. The men above him start running too and someone takes a shot at him, but misses.

They aren't playing nice and Levi isn't planning on going to jail. He's learnt all he needed about Kenny's current whereabouts; he's a low-life loser and he's playing for the worst team. Of all the things Levi would have thought Kenny might have been up to, from visiting brothels and getting fucked up drunk, this might just be the worst.

He doesn't know this city but he's sure this is the closest way to the Wall, so he keeps moving between houses. He's lucky he brought the updated gear, or whatever Kenny threw at his string would've cut it. Having only one grapple would've been a big disadvantage, but like this, he can move faster than anyone else. These men are already quite bad at manoeuvring to begin with; they are mostly moving across the rooftops which means they have poor experience in it. 

Levi clenches his teeth, unhooking his grapple and rolling to the side to dodge another shot. He puts his hands against a wall to avoid smashing his face against it and shoots his gear again to keep the momentum going.

These men are shooting to kill. Kenny either told them Levi can take a hit or there’s a price on his head, which is ridiculous. Levi's a nobody, and escaping the Underground isn't a crime, he should just be thrown back in there and be done with it.

Once he's close enough to the Wall, he sees the gates are open. It will be much faster to escape through them than over them, so Levi drops down from the rooftops and runs towards the gates. When one of Kenny’s goons drops right in front of him, Levi can see him almost too clearly. His head feels light, like floating in water and everything slows down around him. Just like in war, just like every time Levi had to fight for his life; he can taste what’s coming on the tip of his tongue. The goon unfolds his gun to shoot, but Levi runs towards him, attaching a blade to his grip and drawing it to slice right through the man’s arm. 

A drop of warm blood caresses Levi’s face as he keeps running forward, leaving the screaming behind but finding more soldiers waiting for him. Guards are standing on each side of the gates. If the order was given, it would take them time to close the gates, more time than Levi needs. 

He runs around the corner trying to lose them, shooting his grapple to hoist himself forward, running against a wall and jumping to the next one. Another shot makes it his way and he has to drop down to the ground and shoot his gear in another direction. 

Kenny’s waiting for him right in the middle of the street.

Levi stops, hooking his gear onto a building behind him and reeling back to hide behind the fence of a front porch. He’s surrounded. He knows better than to mess with Kenny, but it’s hard escaping the town he knows like the back of his hand. Things might need to get more bloody than necessary. 

“That’s a nice gear you got there,” Kenny exclaims. “The SC is full of little secrets, huh?”

“Criminal turned cop, ‘s there anything more trite than that?” Levi asks loudly.

Kenny cracks up. “The boy’s learnt some fancy words.”

Levi assesses his escape routes. If Kenny’s talking, it is only to win some time. Anyone can drop from the roof right now, but most of them must be waiting for him to run. He can’t let himself get caught, he needs to get back to Erwin.

“Come on little rat,” Kenny quips. “Come outta there and face me.”

“So you can put a bullet in my head?”

“Just doing my job, you know?”

“What job’s that?” Levi asks, attaching blades to his grapples, listening to the rubble on the roofs. “Killing?”

“Come on, Levi,” Kenny says. “You know too damn well killing is the easiest job.”

Levi nods to himself, staring at the house across the street. “It is,” he says, shooting a hook to fly to the middle of the street. He throws a blade right at Kenny before jumping to a roof and Kenny uses his gear to stop the blade from going through his chest. But judging by his screams, it made contact anyways.

The men keep shooting at Levi as he runs across the roof. And when another one jumps to intercept him, Levi slashes right through him. He jumps down again to cross the streets, shooting his gear from wall to wall, sliding across the ground as more soldiers gather to follow him. 

The streets are too clean for him to use anything as cover, so all he can do is move erratically. It’s inefficient, nonetheless, and soon enough a bullet graze his shoulder. He moves on, it barely hurts. When another goon finds his way, Levi keeps running, hoisting the man up on his shoulder and using him as cover. He feels the bullets pound him as he bleeds on Levi’s back. 

The gates are right there, halfway closed so Levi throws the body to the ground to gain speed. He shoots his grapples to hook them atop the gates and reels in, swiftly flying forward and using the momentum to go through the passage. 

He unhooks his grapples and rolls to land on his feet, wasting no time to look back. Kenny might have stopped chasing him for now, but he'll still be after Levi, after the Corps. They will cross paths again, it's a given. If this is how Kenny decided to reunite after all these years, it only means he won't stop until one of them is dead.

Levi gallops through the barracks gates but can't get to the stables. Several soldiers are pointing their rifles at him, calling the commander, nervously looking at each other.

“Where's Erwin?” Levi asks, dismounting his horse, but nobody answers.

Hange runs towards him, pushing soldiers aside, agitated. Their hair dishevelled as always as they adjust their glasses. “The fuck happened to you?” they exclaim. “Put your fucking guns down!”

“Where’s Erwin?” Levi asks again, frowning, staring at everyone who’s still hesitant to listen to Hange.

“Erwin's not here,” Nanaba says, walking next to Hange. “Nor are Reiner or Bertholdt.”

“You mean you were not with them?” Hange asks. “Then what the fuck happened?”

Levi's ears ring for a moment before his feet prickle and he moves. He quickly mounts his horse again and gets going, pushing every soldier to the ground before marching back to the gates. If Erwin's not here, then Levi has no business in the SC, and he has only one place to go.

A grapple flies right by his face and hooks on one of the poles by the gate. Nanaba’s body falls on him, trampling them both off the horse and onto the mud. She's big and heavy, rolling over him to trap his body, but Levi manages to hook his leg around her arm to push her chest back. She grunts, fighting against him and she’s damn strong, managing to roll them over again. The ground is cold and wet and it stinks, probably full of manure. Nanaba could punch him but she doesn’t, he could kick her ribs but he doesn’t. Instead, he takes the knife out of his belt to point it at her neck, the blade softly grazing her skin.

“Go on, Levi,” she says through gritted teeth. “Fucking slice my throat.”

Levi stares deep into her eyes. There's mud on her bangs as they fall over her eyes.

“You won't do it,” she says. “So don't play the threatening guy with me.” She lets go of him and stands up, spitting on the ground. 

“You’re covered in someone else’s blood,” she points out. “You don’t seem hurt.”

“‘M not,” he answers.

“I wasn’t ready to believe Erwin told us all those things just to leave with you and the Warriors. It didn’t add up,” Nanaba says. “You being here is proof enough he didn’t leave of his own accord.”

“Zeke,” Levi grits. He kneels and assesses the situation. He could take her. Even if every soldier comes to her rescue. Then he'd go back to the southern walls, back to the ship to get what’s his. It would be stupid and reckless—something Erwin would do; something that would lead to Levi’s death as well as his.

“There's a reason Erwin told us all of that,” Nanaba says, looking over her shoulders so that the soldiers walking closer are at ease. “We've been preparing for this. Have we not?”

“You've no idea what’s out there.”

“And what’s your plan?” Nanaba asks. “Leaving us here and going to that ship alone?”

“I'm not staying here a minute longer than I have to while Erwin is out there.”

“I’m not telling you to leave him behind, but you have to listen to us,” she says. “Your best shot at succeeding is taking Mikasa with you. We know how many men have taken up camp there, we know how big the ship is and how far we are; Erwin didn’t skimp on the details.”

Hange shows up too, panting. They stare at Levi up and down like he’s some sort of a creep. Something to analyse in their little lab.

“They have four titans on their side,” Levi seethes, he can't stand the void in his chest. Erwin's in danger while he's having a casual conversation. “You can barely handle the one on yours. You came up short.”

“We’re in a hurry as well, Levi,” Nanaba answers. “The Government is charging us with insubordination, treason, disobedience. They want us to deliver Eren tomorrow at first light… They want Kirsta too or they’ll send the Military Police to pick them up.”

Kenny.

“Yeah, Erwin’s been saying the whole truth!” Hange exclaims. “Krista… rather, Historia, told us everything. There’s no other reason for the government to ask for her.”

“We have to leave before they get to us,” Nanaba says. “Regroup in Shiganshina and move out from there” She points behind Levi. “Spring is coming and so are the heavy rains. If we leave tomorrow it will be pouring by the time you make it to the beach. They will be holed up inside the ship and you can scare them out.” 

Levi looks at the horizon, but he can't see a thing. The sky is clear, barely any clouds around. 

“You're as fast and strong as Mikasa, if not faster. You've got training,” Nanaba says. “Take her. Take the lead. Once you get there, assess the situation. We'll follow and provide backup.”

Levi looks back at her, tinted in oranges as the sun sets. He will have to trust her. She and the Corps. He’s been here for barely a week but he knows what they are worth. He knows how fast they learn, how much life means to them. They are nothing like Kenny, nothing like Levi either. Yet they are fearless, kids who’ve decided to fight against titans just to avenge their family’s deaths, orphans… just like Levi.

“You can't leave yet. Levi,” she says. “I promise we'll get Erwin back. We'll get the gear back, just as he wanted. Just stay a little longer and plan this out with us.”

Chapter Text

Erwin's throat is dry and the air in the room is heavy. He's sweating and dizzy from the beating. He lies on the crooked bed looking at the circular window on the opposite end. The sun is coming up. 

He figured he'd be back on this ship again; he imagined Marley trying to get to him one last time. He hadn't thought it would be Wald who'd find him before Zeke. Bringing him to this island the first time was a disadvantage, he knew how to get into the city and what to look for. Once he got in contact with Reiner and Bertholdt, it was easier to catch Erwin with his guard down.

Now he's back to square one in a way. Only this time, he can count on Levi and the whole Corps to come after him. They know where the ship is, how many soldiers there are, and how to attack. They can even sneak directly into the cargo if Levi leads, steal the gear, the guns. Wald's party is going to end soon.

Steps cross the hallway and the door opens. It's Mike. It's nice to see a familiar face, someone who doesn't truly hate him. He looks taller now, even though it wasn’t that long ago that they saw each other. Only a few days before embarking. He's carrying a mug and a can; there must be food to spare on the ship. 

Erwin sits on the bed, trying to get comfortable despite being difficult. The ship was left all crooked after it crashed. The furniture has stumbled to one side of the room. Mike can't even put down any of the things he brought or they'd fall over so Erwin reaches out for them. He gulps the water down first but he can’t stomach the can of food. It looks like meat floating in cold broth.

“Sorry, I couldn't heat it,” Mike tells him. “It's dangerous to use the stove here because the pipes are all messed up. There's a bonfire outside but—”

“Wald would ask who the food is for,” Erwin offers.

“Zeke’s gone,” Mike says.

“He's not as stubborn as Wald.”

“He took Pieck, Reiner and Berthold with him,” Mike explains. “Wald's got no chance against Levi.”

Erwin nods at Mike’s arm. “He's got you wearing armbands… even in this foreign land.”

“Do you know what Levi did here?”

“I haven’t asked.” Erwin shrugs. He doesn’t truly care, any deaths were deserved.

“He killed officers in their sleep, shot them in the head. He threw people overboard,” Mike explains. “We found corpses floating on the shore a few days back. And Gerst,” he sighs. “Can’t say he didn’t have it coming, but shit… Soldiers are starting to say Levi eats people… because of his titan heritage.”

Erwin huffs a laugh at how easily myths are born. “Did you fix the gear? The trucks?” he asks.

“Can’t fix the gear. The technicians were all Marleyans and no matter how many mechanics we have, the fuel tanks are ruined. Are you gonna tell me what’s going on for once?”

Erwin can’t say much; he trusts Mike but he doesn’t want him to know more than needed. Erwin doesn’t want to share what is only speculation. Even though Mike was the one who made sure there was room for him in the cargo and kept Zeke far away. He knows for sure that Levi will come for him. He knows Levi will kill Wald and spare the Eldians. And he knows backup will arrive, but he can’t convince Mike with intuition and theories. He will want something substantial. 

“You shouldn’t stay here much longer,” Erwin says. “We don't want Wald against you too.”

Mike lets out a deep sigh, taking a small package wrapped in cloth out of his pocket. “Don’t worry about Wald,” he says, handing the package to Erwin. “We’re not friends anymore, but I can read him as if we still are.”

Erwin smiles and nods as Mike leaves the room. In the package, there is pen and paper, which is everything Erwin needs to wait this out. Wald can lock him inside this room for as long as he wants, but there’s no purpose to this. Zeke’s not here and nor are any of the other titans, Wald holds no power. He must be holding on to the idea that Marley will be proud of him, will respect him. He’s probably sure that securing Erwin on this ship will prove he’s a good Eldian, someone to be trusted. He has captured the man who betrayed his motherland, and will deliver him alive. He has kept his comrades honest, wearing armbands. He’s a worthy soldier, someone that could become a Warrior. 

He’s never been smart.

Erwin gets up from bed and sits at the small desk. The pen rolls over to the floor as soon as he puts it down. Scribbling has always helped; he would much rather be sitting in Nanaba’s office writing down everything he knows and has ever done, but this will do in the meantime. He’s not in a hurry. 

Communication with Marley has been cut off. Even if they plan to come to the island, it will not be any time soon, not without figuring out what exactly happened to this ship first. They fear Levi, but surely they don't think every officer is dead, certainly they wouldn’t imagine a devil is in charge.

Erwin wipes the sweat off his neck, thinking that if he misses anything from Marley, apart from his father, it’s the dry weather. So that’s what he decides to write about. Using an actual pen instead of a quill is relaxing, though there’s also a certain magic to it. He thinks of Levi, but will refrain from writing about him. He lets the picture of Levi’s silky hair keep him warm inside, the way his lips are delicate even when he’s biting Erwin’s skin. The way his voice is rough yet he moans so delicately. 

The certainty that Levi will come for him is what keeps Erwin going. Even if he’s upset, even if he won’t forgive Erwin this time around, he’s sure Levi will do the right thing. Levi will listen to Nanaba, he will follow his instincts, he will power through. 

Erwin wasted too much time letting Levi slip through his fingers. So many missed opportunities flash through his mind: that hug Levi asked for in his bedroom, that cigarette they shared, the night they danced. There were so many times Erwin should’ve spent caressing Levi’s face, holding him in his arms, listening to his words; so assertive, so sure of what he wants and needs.

Erwin should’ve been there to keep Levi safe, not because Levi couldn’t take care of himself, but because he had to spend so much time with Zeke. Zeke couldn’t have felt for Levi what Erwin does. Zeke would never appreciate Levi’s true strengths: his heart, his kindness. There must be other reasons Levi hates Zeke with all his guts, and Erwin hates him for that too. If Erwin had been there, then maybe Levi would’ve been safe from that, maybe… Erwin would never had to watch Levi spitting into Zeke’s mouth.

He shakes the thought off his mind and chuckles. He will wait patiently to see Levi again and continue everything from where they left them off.

Liberio, Marley - Three days before embarking for Paradis

Erwin is not scared. Even if this is scary, he knows he can get through it. With the cramp in his stomach and the constant picking at his cuticles, he just needs to let things unfold. 

There's a pile of books next to the kitchen and another on the table. Most of them were ripped apart when Erwin's father was taken away. Some are still intact; others, Erwin had to put back together. The one in his hand he’s read over fifty times this week already. It used to be one of his favourites about Ackerman's history. But now that Erwin has met Levi, now that he has visited Hizuru, and learnt about Ackermans in person, the book isn’t interesting or even accurate. They were right when it comes to basic stuff—their speed and looks—but that’s about it. Erwin should consider himself lucky for finding Levi going off such lacking intel. Erwin can see now that those in the Tybur family who wrote this book only saw Ackermans in passing. Maybe visiting each other's families, maybe because of war tales, but not much else.

In the book, there is no information on the amount of Hizuruans who formed relationships with them or how important they were in war, just as much as a titan was. They were the next best thing. They are people with titan strength but in human form, stronger even and much more vital. So much so that they became the biggest target when Eldians started to lose power. When the world rebelled against them.

He rips a page out for safekeeping, as a trinket maybe, just like the ones Levi keeps, or an item of good luck perhaps. Neither make much sense to Erwin, considering he's had nothing but bad luck in his life, and things seem to retreat every time he gets close to them.

Outside his house, by the door, is Ernest. His job is to guard Erwin's home… from himself. Erwin’s days have been structured; he trains in the morning and returns home at night. His father is a traitor to the nation, so there’s always a guard keeping watch on Erwin. The only exception is that one hour he does physical training and jogs around the fields and towards the harbour. The type of escapade that allowed him to finally see Levi again.

Erwin opens the window to the streets, holding a hot cup of coffee and calls to his guard, his friend. “Earnie!”

“Ahh,” Ernest groans, walking closer. “No wonder they used to call you saviour. I'm freezing.”

“That was just propaganda,” Erwin says, huffing a laugh. “It's criminal that they have you here.”

Ernest scoffs. “You're the criminal, no propaganda there.”

“History condemns me, certainly,” Erwin answers. 

“Yes. There's a new guard two blocks South now,” Ernest explains. “Not sure if they are expecting anyone else to rebel, or just trying to scare us.”

“Both, most likely,” Erwin tells him. “Biscuits are almost done. Do you think you could take a break or will it become impossible now?”

“Screw that,” Ernest answers. “I can always say I heard something suspicious and went in for reconnaissance.”

“Very well, make yourself at home.”

Erwin closes the window, takes the biscuits out of the oven, and pours more coffee. Ernest comes inside, shivering, soon after.

“It’s so warm in here, I'm already sweating.” He says as he removes his coat, gloves, and beanie.

“Now that the oven is off it will get colder, sadly. But help yourself to something sweet.”

They sit by the table like they have been doing these past months. No matter if it rains, it's windy or freezing, Ernest has to stand by Erwin's door. And since they grew up and trained together, Ernest feels comfortable taking a break from time to time, to drink something hot and eat something sweet.

The conversation is casual, as usual: rifle practice, war, women they have dated and whether Erwin misses going to the brothel or not. He says he does, but he doesn't. He misses dancing with Levi, but he doesn't share that.

Ernest finishes up his second cup and his eighth biscuit and excuses himself to the bathroom. He needs to get back to duty before someone notices he's gone.

Erwin gets up to do the dishes quickly and then walks upstairs to get his baseball bat. It used to be Zeke’s; he gave it to Erwin when they were kids. Erwin never found any joy in it.

He stands next to the bathroom door, rolling his shoulders, and waits; he listens to the toilet flushing, the sink water running, and finally, the doorknob turning. As soon as Ernest walks out, Erwin swings at him, aiming straight for his forehead. He hears his skull crack, he watches as Ernest falls flat on the floor next, convulsing. It's not pleasant, but at least he didn't miss and there's no blood spilling over the floor.

Erwin drags the body to the kitchen and undresses him. He wonders if he should say he's sorry, but he doubts Ernest is aware of anything at this point. Also, he's not sorry. Ernest wasn't his friend, they weren't confidants. They just happen to share a classroom at school, and then training grounds at HQ. He was relegated to guard while Erwin was given a yellow armband. Ernest doesn't care about him; he never asks about his life, he barely remembers Erwin’s father’s name. He’s only been interested in conversation when Erwin started bribing him with food and cigarettes. Someone like Ernest wouldn't keep Erwin's secret, he wouldn’t vouch for him.

No Eldian would risk their lives for one another, so Erwin won't risk his for Ernest.

He changes clothes but keeps his own underwear because Ernest's stinks; there’s also blood starting to come out of his ears and nose. The house will be burnt to a crisp soon, and he hopes the police will think the corpse is Erwin’s. There's no record of who's keeping watch at his door. If they ever try to track this down, it will take time and by then he will be on the other side of the ocean and it will be too late. Thinking Erwin’s death will be a breath of fresh air for the army, no one will care. No one will connect him to the Paradis invasion.

Around him, everything is in its place. Every window in the house is closed and it will fill up with gas before morning. If everything goes as planned, Ernest should be the only casualty of this accident. The books will help the house burn down faster, if the explosion is not big enough. He gets Ernest's knife and unplugs the fridge to cut through the wire, then plugs it back again; it immediately starts sparking. Then he puts on Ernest's coat and beanie, making sure he's got everything he needs, letting the gas run in every appliance.

Lastly, he puts the grey armband on and walks out for good. His father wouldn't miss this place, neither will Erwin.

Now - Eldia’s beach port

He should’ve asked for more water. After trying to eat some of the canned food, Erwin is left with an awful taste in his mouth and his stomach is not giving him peace. 

He’s managed to use up all three pieces of paper. He even started to use a smaller handwriting to fill all the empty spaces, and now he’s wondering if he could write on his pillowcase as well. He’s already tried the steel desk and the walls, but the ink doesn’t transfer.

The door is locked so there’s no use trying to escape for now. He decides to walk around the room but it’s too humid. He peeks out the window but there’s only the ocean. There’s nothing to do. He lies down, lets his pen roll down the floor, and catches it before it goes too far. Then he sets it again and watches it roll. 

Wald giving the orders rubs Erwin the wrong way. He isn’t important enough to have been given the position. He must have taken it by force. He was never clever or strong, but he was insane and violent. If he’s in power then someone must’ve died to get him there. Zeke running after Levi must have left everyone adrift, letting Wald get his first taste of power.

Erwin should mind his steps around him. Wald might be slow, but his heart is filled with Marleyan propaganda and he has nothing left to lose. That might just be the worst kind of cocktail.

The ship is silent as hours go by. There’s only the sound of dripping somewhere and the constant crash of waves on steel. Everything feels eerie and then the sudden sound of footsteps calls his attention to the door.

Two soldiers walk inside first, wearing grey armbands. Luca and Sheldon. They spent their childhood together, lost their virginities at the same time, had lunch and dinner together for years on end. It reminds Erwin of Ernest and how none of that means anything to any of them. 

After them comes Wald, walking in with his chin held high, his oily hair brushed back and the shadow of a moustache above his upper lip. He’s wearing a yellow armband for no apparent reason; he has always worn armbands with pride, he understands nothing.

“Get off the fucking floor!” Wald exclaims, pushing Sheldon towards Erwin.

He could refuse, he could get up himself, but he lets the soldiers tug his arms to force him to stand. They struggle a bit; Erwin’s grown and they are still scrawny.

“You think this is a holiday resort?” Wald asks as Sheldon puts handcuffs on Erwin. “This is your cell, Erwin.”

“Feels like a nice day by the beach to me,” Erwin answers and watches Wald balling his fists. “Haven’t had a room just for myself in years.”

Wald surges forward to punch Erwin in the stomach. He recoils but doesn’t fight back.  He could kick Wald in the face, but exposing him in front of everyone would serve no good and it’s not like him. It’s best to let Wald feel he’s got it under control. This charade won’t last much.

“This isn’t a game, Erwin,” Wald seethes.

“You’re the one wearing a yellow armband,” Erwin croaks. “How did you earn that by the way?”

Wald frowns. “I’m the one giving the orders here, might as well have something to differentiate me from the rest.”

“You couldn’t be a Warrior in your deepest fantasies.”

Wald lets his anger out, punching Erwin’s face until his knuckles bleed. Only then he steps away. He’s always been bad at fighting, and he’s so much smaller than Erwin that he’s hurt himself as much or more as Erwin.

“You’ve always enjoyed a good beating,” Wald says, huffing a laugh. “I barely remember you without a black eye.”

Erwin agrees; he feels as though he spent half of his life being physically punished, yet none of that has hurt as much as losing his father, or having to run Levi through with a grapple. Anything else for him is child play and he’s sick of it. He’s already accomplished what he came to do on Paradis. 

Wald prances across the room, he throws Erwin's pillow to the floor, turns the mattress upside down, kicks the chair and finds the armband Erwin had thrown under the bed. 

“The fuck is this?” he exclaims, picking it up. “Fuck! Luca, you put it back on him,” he orders, walking to the desk. He picks up the papers lying on it and barely looks at them before ripping it to shreds. 

It's a stupid show and it takes Luca and Sheldon too long to uncuff Erwin, force the armband around his arm and cuff him again.

“Magath will be glad to know I got you here. I’d let you rot if I didn’t need you to prove we’re not part of this revolt.”

Luca and Sheldon let Erwin go and he forces himself to keep standing. He should go to bed right after this. He might also need to eat more if he plans to keep up with Wald. It’s clear he will come to unleash his anger on Erwin daily, maybe hourly if he wants to.

“Can’t wait for the officers to inject you with Zeke’s serum,” Wald says over his shoulder. “Hopefully you get to see us chop Levi to pieces first.”

They leave the room and Erwin takes a deep breath in; he licks his lips, tasting blood, and walks to the bed. He won’t be able to write in cuffs but at least they aren’t tight. Sheldon didn’t seem convinced of what he was doing. Wald’s leadership is in shambles; he shouldn’t have told Erwin he was important to the cause, it gives him too much power. He’s also delusional if he thinks delivering Erwin will give him any sort of pardon from the Marleyan government, but that would be too hard for him to understand. 

Erwin lies on his side and huffs a laugh, thinking of Wald’s threat. He could never lay a finger on Levi, not without losing it. A man as strong, quick, and smart as Levi would never lose against someone like Wald. Erwin doesn't know what he did to Gerst but whatever it was, he had it coming. 

Levi’s delicate hands can be so deadly; his harsh tongue can be so soft. Erwin smiles to himself thinking back to all the things they did in the linen room. Even though it was dark, Erwin can remember everything so clearly. He feels Levi’s skin against his own, hear his moans. The way Levi knew exactly what he wanted; the way he asked for it, sitting on Erwin’s fingers for his own pleasure. 

The peace of that night suddenly weighs on him as he remembers the following morning. Finding Wald in Paradis had been unexpected. Erwin hadn't seen him in years; he was taller and his silky blond hair was a greasy brown mess. Erwin would’ve thought Zeke would get to him first, but Wald played the quiet game. Once the Warriors knew about Erwin’s lies, it was a question of time. They ambushed him in their meeting spot and Reiner shifted to take all of them away. 

The lies were over. 

At night Mike drops by, says he shouldn't be here and that Wald’s orders are to starve Erwin. He needs to be weak and easy to manipulate, easy to hit, or else Wald has no way to overpower him. Mike helps him drink some water and eat some fresh fish. It helps greatly. Erwin’s got the stamina to get through this. He’s got the right people on his side. Wald is no threat.

Come morning, Wald wakes him up by pouring a bucket of seawater on his face. Erwin rolls over to cough and breathe, and falls to the floor. He’s dizzy and panting. Wald kicks his back and his legs before asking the soldiers to pick Erwin up and makes him kneel. Then he grips Erwin’s hair and smirks.

“What makes you think you can have a nice sleep?” he asks.

Erwin’s still trying to swallow through the salt. Wald is blurry through his eyelashes and doesn’t give Erwin another second before dragging him across the room. He can barely manage to do it himself, so the soldiers help him out.

“Made contact with Marley,” Wald says. “They are sending help our way.”

“Good.”

Wald huffs. “You don't want what's coming for you.”

“A syringe and then I'm off the wall?” Erwin asks. “Sounds easier than what's coming for you. ”

Wald punches Erwin’s face, then does it four more times. It’s on fire, his nose bleeding and cheek stinging.

“I saved this fucking ship!” Wald snarls, voice hoarse. He sounds as mad as nervous. “I kept it safe! I went after you and now you're my prisoner! You don't get to undermine me anymore!”

“You should count your blessings,” Erwin answers, his lips tugging into a smile.

“What are you smiling for?” Wald kicks him on the stomach, forcing Erwin to lurch forward, out of breath. 

A few more kicks make it to Erwin's ribs, and he wonders if Wald might just kill him unwillingly by puncturing an internal organ. It'd be funny if Wald managed to ruin his own plans after thinking he's so smart. If Erwin's sure of something, it is that Wald will go down that wall just like Erwin if Marley makes it here before the Scouts.

“Undress him,” Wald voice orders.

Erwin struggles to look up from the floor, the steel easing the pain on his face.

“I said… undress him.”

Sheldon hesitates; he doesn't seem sure what he's doing here. That must be it. As days go by, being on this deserted shore can only spark one question. Why am I still following orders? Even Erwin had that question six years ago while walking Levi out of this place.

Wald grumbles and digs his hands in Sheldon's uniform, snatching a knife out of his pocket. He cuts Erwin's shirt and pants and yanks, ripping them until they fall off. He pulls the boots out, the socks, struggling, panting, sniffling, groaning as he tries to make Erwin roll on the floor. 

He takes everything off except for the underwear and the armband and gets up, exhausted and sweaty. All while Sheldon and Luca watch.

“You'll start praying for Marley to get here faster,” Wald seethes next to Erwin's ear before getting up. He snaps his fingers to order the soldiers to open the door and then leaves.

The clank from the door is louder than usual in Erwin's ears and he flinches, tasting metal and salt. He listens as the steps move away and then turns to his side, curling. Without any clothes and sweating like this, his hands feel farther apart and he moves them as low as possible, through pain and groans, trying to get them past his ass. It's a weird mix of stretching and flexing, extending his arms until his shoulders ache and his skin stings. 

Erwin moans in pain as he makes it past his butt and takes a deep breath before continuing, moving his feet under the cuffs until his hands are finally at the front. His wrists are cut and bleeding and Erwin can't believe he didn't feel it. His face and back hurt the most. He was willing to try breaking his thumb to break free but having both arms at the front is just as good.

He crawls across the room, knees scratching against the dirty floor, looking for his pen but it's nowhere to be found. Wald must've taken it. 

This might be the worst torture as Erwin is left alone with his thoughts. He trusts what he's doing, as hard as it's getting. He's letting everything play out, but he’d like it to be over already. He's lost his hope a long time ago, he can't keep up with his lies much longer.

Everything he's wanted, he's gotten. He's here, Levi's here. Ackermans exist and he's learned all there is to learn about them. His only motivation has always been knowledge and what else is there to know. He feels as though he's running on automatic at this point, waiting for things to unfold, waiting for someone else to take the wheel.

The only threat now is no threat at all: a good-for-nothing nobody who likes to play Warrior. Erwin fought too much to let someone like Wald take his freedom away. He can try to lock Erwin in here and give him hell, he can attempt to make him weak and laugh at him, but he will never take Erwin's urge to read, to write, to share. That's all his father left him and he will cherish it.

Mike drops by at night. He's quiet as he opens and closes the door and sits next to the bed, waking Erwin from his light slumber.

Erwin almost vomits from chugging water down too fast but tries to keep it together. Every sensation in his body is a mixture of numbness and the feeling of a thousand needles prickling his skin, on his knees and around his wrist, his ankles.

“I don't have the balls to shoot him in the head,” Mike says.

“You shouldn't have to. You should leave.”

“The army is coming, it’s not worth it. Walking across the wall sounds as awful as waiting in the woods to be eaten.”

“Is that for me?” Erwin asks, nodding at a plate with fish on it.

“Not the best part,” Mike says, bringing it closer to Erwin. “And it's cold. But it's good. Clive's a good cook.”

“Thank you, Mike.” Erwin swallows a shiver, taking a bite.

Mike lets out a deep sigh. “Sure. No problem. I…” he trails off, staring at the door.

Erwin can't hear anything other than his teeth ripping the fish apart and his saliva helping it down his throat.

“I just wish I knew what's going through your head sometimes,” Mike finally says, getting up. “Can't get you anything to write with or on this time. We're lucky Wald thought the pen and paper were on the desk already.”

He doesn't stay a second longer. It's best if he leaves since Wald must be paranoid about everything. He wasn't clever enough to put Erwin in a room that's accessible or one with a guard by the door. 

Erwin eats until there's nothing left and then he sucks the fish off his fingers. He's still hungry so he nibbles the remains off the spine, prickling his lips and tongue several times. Another easy, and stupid, way to die today would be choking on fish. Still better than dying at the hands of Wald.

He stares down at the spine and blood on his hands and frowns. Under him, the dirty white sheets are a canvas that calls Erwin's attention more than before. He's cold and hurt and bored. He's got nothing to lose and this time, he decides to pour his heart out.

He puts the plate on the floor and crosses his legs, sitting on the middle of the bed and hunching to be close enough without covering the light with his body. Then he delicately wets the tip of a single spine with blood and draws a small line on the sheets. 

I

Erwin smiles and keeps going. It takes a lot of time to write a full word but he keeps it simple. It's also hard to keep pulling out blood from the same wound so he pinches his grazed knees and draws some from there to finish his sentence.

I used to run naked.

There's a lot of time, a lot of sheets. A lot of blood. Erwin moves his hand and opens new wounds, writing down as much as he can, as fast as he can.

By morning, Erwin's eyes are dry and he's lightheaded. It takes him a while to realise there's light coming from the window. He listens to the sounds around the ship: doors closing, people running, metal clanking. The waves and seagulls are white noise at this point and Erwin has covered the bed and pillow, so he moved on to the mattress itself.

When it's time for Wald to make his daily visit, he just stands by the door, staring, mouth agape. Erwin's sight is blurry but he manages a nod and faint smile before going back to the job at hand. It doesn't last long.

Sheldon and Luca throw two buckets of freezing seawater on Erwin and his brain comes to a full stop. The cold makes its way through his muscles and they spasm; he shakes so much he can't control himself. All he can do is watch as the bloody words on the mattress blur and it makes him feel desperate. Wald will try to destroy everything he ever had and ever did but Erwin won't allow it. It's only his third day here, he can handle this, so he takes a deep breath, hunching over the bed, and stares at Levi's name. He worked hard on that L; he thinks Levi would like it. He should write it on paper and black ink, maybe Levi would smile, maybe he would fold the paper and put it in his pocket.

The soldiers hold Erwin's arms and drag him off the bed to make him kneel in front of Wald who still looks taken aback. Erwin's feeling better already, breathing evenly despite the cold, despite the saltwater stinging every wound. He thinks back to that woollen sweater his neighbour knitted for him when he was a kid.

“You've lost it,” Wald breathes out, walking around him.

Over his shoulder, Erwin watches Wald pick up the sheets, squinting, reading.

“What is wrong with you?”

“Writing is relaxing,” Erwin answers, looking back ahead. 

Sheldon is frowning and Erwin smiles back, shrugging. He didn't stop to think how this would look but they are the ones that left him naked in this room.

The next thing Erwin sees is pink as he's pulled back and Wald wraps his head in the blankets. They go down on the floor and struggle. Erwin can breathe but the more they fight the tighter the sheets are around his neck. Wald kicks his stomach and ribs while Erwin digs his nails into skin, trying to grip Wald's arms to make him stop. It’s suffocating but Erwin knows how to control his breathing. He pushes Wald against the bed, against the wall, against whatever is behind them, clenching his teeth and using his weight in his favour.

Sheldon and Luca scream but Erwin can't understand them. When Wald lets go of the sheets, he continues to throw punches at Erwin, catching him off guard. He can't see anything but shadows through the sheets and tries to curl to keep the kicks at bay. 

“Fucking let go of me!” Wald snarls.

“You almost killed him!” Luca exclaims. 

Erwin pulls the sheets off his face to find Wald on the floor next to him while Sheldon and Luca attempt to pull him out of the room.

“I should fucking kill him!” Wald growls.

Luca pushes Wald to the floor. “If you fucking kill him then we all die once the army gets here! Get your shit together!”

Wald shakes his other arm free from Sheldon's grip and stands up, brushing the hair off his face. Erwin used to stare at Wald and think he was one of the most handsome men in the army, now he seems to be on his way to looking just like Sheldon. He just needs to lose a few teeth.

Erwin pushes up on his elbows to get off the floor and kneels. He clears his throat and looks over his shoulder.

“You know, mutiny still happens,” he says, staring right at Luca. He looks as though he's been thinking about it so Erwin decides to say nothing else.

“Take him outside,” Wald hisses. “Get some fresh air into his big ass head.”

Luca sighs and holds Erwin by the cuffs, yanking. He stands up and looks around, looming over everyone in the room. 

“Walk, Erwin,” Luca says, exasperated. He doesn’t even try to use force.

The floor is wet under Erwin's bare feet and walking across crooked corridors isn't easy. They have to push themselves against the walls, sliding from time to time as the slimy floor makes them lose traction. There's an awful stench coming from one of the rooms but Erwin can't manage to properly look at what’s inside.

“You always have some shit to say, some shit to write,” Wald says behind his back. “That's why your father got taken, you know? He was always babbling. Everyone always said so.” He huffs. “Didn't you learn anything from him? Heard they cut off his fingers to make him stop and when he didn't, they cut out his tongue,” he adds. “You're gonna die just like him. Hopefully, they rip your fucking tongue out, too. Maybe your hands after I show them all that shit you wrote.”

Erwin breathes in the fresh air as soon as they emerge.; The sun is blinding but warm. He's already beaten himself up for everything his father went through, he knows exactly what they did to him. There's nothing Wald can say that would make him feel any more guilt or pain he’s not already going through.

There are lots of soldiers on the beach, the surviving Eldians. Bare-chested working the bonfires, cooking food, washing clothes. Some are working on car parts they must've removed from the trucks. Maybe they are trying to fix the ODM gear. Their armbands are still on. 

“Call everyone here!” Wald exclaims. “Get my gear!”

Wald pushes Erwin to walk faster as they progress towards the deck. The place is a mess: food cans , plates and forks scattered on the ground alongside clothes and guns. Everything is full of sand, dead plants, and fish heads.

Luca takes him to the anti-aircraft system by the bow. He uncuffs Erwin and cuffs him again around the gun mantlet, leaving him half naked, hanging from his hands.

Wald snatches the gear off Sheldon's hands and puts it on, shaking as he buckles the harness. He's doing it wrong, but he's not going to fly away at any given moment. That gear cannot work, they surely haven't fixed it. He takes the grapple and locks a blade, unsheathing it, and pointing it at Erwin.

“This fucking devil is guilty of all your shitty days on this island!” Wald exclaims as soldiers gather around. “He’s here… playing games! Getting in your heads! Spitting lies!”

Erwin looks around; everyone is frowning, they are tired and scrawny. They haven't been here long but no Eldian is treated right unless they are Warriors. They were brought here as cannon fodder, just like the thousands of Eldians that fought every Marleyan war before them.

“He's the one who crashed the ship! Who destroyed our trucks! He left us on this beach, surrounded by titans!” Wald yells, his voice cracking by the end. He swallows and stares back at Erwin.

“Wald,” Mike says, taking a step forward. “Put the blade down. Cut this shit out.”

“He wants us dead!” Wald keeps screaming. “So why would any of us want to help him? Why would anybody hold any respect for him?”

Nobody answers; they are rhetorical questions after all. Erwin doesn't understand the point of this. Wald won't kill Erwin, he's their only hope. He's just trying to establish some power since he holds none. 

There’s a soft breeze blowing in from the ocean. Erwin sees dark clouds gathering on the horizon, filled with thunder. He looks around them, at the fear and confusion on everyone’s faces.

“Why,” Wald asks again, “Would any of you help him dress if he asked for it? What for? Would you help him eat, help him drink? Would any of you get him a pen and paper so he can enjoy his time as a prisoner?” he finally says, looking back at Mike. “What's the point of shitting on your comrade’s lives? On your friends?”

“Wald…” Mike calls.

There's silence in the ship and Erwin can barely breathe, staring at them. The waves crash against the ship but nobody moves, nobody speaks.

“I'm not insane, Mike,” Wald says, barely audible. “You should've trusted me.”

He draws his pistol and shoots. One, two, three times, and Mike drops to the ground. Wald keeps firing until the gun is empty and keeps pulling the trigger—click, click, click.  

Mike's body lies motionless on the deck, blood dripping down the uneven floor, the sun making it shine redder.

It reminds Erwin of Isabel's hair and how much darker it looked after Gerst shot her. He couldn't say anything back then, and he can't say anything now either. The only man he trusted on this ship has found his inevitable demise; the same fate anyone who ever puts their trust in Erwin ends.

“I can't kill you,” Wald tells Erwin, walking closer. “And you're so smug about it. You think you hold all the power.” He scrunches his face in disgust. “You've lost your only friend, Erwin,” he says, pointing his blade at Mike’s bleeding body. “Now you'll lose the one thing that keeps you sane.”

Wald raises his blade in the air and swings it in one fast motion; it goes clunk against the mantlet. Erwin frowns, getting dizzy, feeling his arm getting ticklish. People around them are looking at each other, mumbling words that Erwin can't hear.

A breeze runs through them but it's not cold. It's not hot. Erwin can't feel a thing. He can't feel himself breathing, he can't feel himself standing. Something has stopped his blood from running to his head, he can’t form coherent thoughts. He can't feel his hand either.

He looks down the slanted deck to find something rolling down. He recognises it. He recognises the fingers on it, the cuts on the wrists, the bruises on the knuckles but Erwin does nothing. He stands there, still, and watches his hand fall off the edge of the ship.

Chapter Text

The green SC cape shelters Levi from the cold better than he imagined it would. Fat drops of rain fall on his hood, and he can barely see anything except when there’s thunder. They can’t use torches, and there are no trees now that they are closer to the ship.

Nobody’s keeping watch, just as Nanaba assumed; the rain has forced all the soldiers inside the ship. The beach is full of trucks and the remnants of bonfires. The rumbling from the sky is inviting; all Levi wants is to get onto that ship to end it all, to bring Erwin back to safety, to make sure he’s alright. To take revenge. When he was six years old Levi ripped the face off a man, Zeke deserves nothing less.

“The way inside is up there,” Levi tells Mikasa. “Follow me. Cut fingers, break arms. Make them fear you.”

They’d planned everything out before leaving Shiganshina. 

Levi and Mikasa would attack first; the rest of the troops would make sure to take every soldier prisoner once they were out of the ship. Nobody needed to die. Levi hadn’t kept all these Eldians safe just to kill them now. But if the Warriors shift, casualties will be inevitable. 

Levi sprints forward and Mikasa follows right after. His boots sink a little with each step in the wet sand. His bones are cold, his clothes are wet and heavy, but he keeps going. He’s been riding his horse for three days straight and can barely feel his ass anymore; he only feels pain which pushes him to keep going, to shoot his grapple and reel onto the ship. 

“Fuck,” he mutters, unable to hold back from the stench. He looks around to find the heads of dead fish, clothes, and litter everywhere. Soldiers are disgusting. “Watch your step,” he tells Mikasa. “I’ll go in first, stay close.”

Levi opens the hatch to the main corridor to find it completely lit up. Mikasa stares confused at the lightbulbs and Levi has to push her away so she doesn’t blind herself. Laughs echo from a nearby room and Levi goes back to the last night he spent here; the blood of the officers dripping down his hands, the fear on their faces. He hopes things turn out differently tonight.

If Erwin's here, he must be locked in one of the lower rooms, if not the cargo bay. Just thinking he might be cuffed to a dirty pipe in that dark, humid room makes Levi feel sick. He needs to find a soldier who's alone to get information out of him, trying to keep the mess to a minimum. The corridors are empty but still dangerous, there's no way they won't call someone's attention while wearing these uniforms and being soaking wet. They are already dripping all over the floor.

Fred is the first man they find; he's smoking a cigarette while mopping the floor, unaware that Levi and Mikasa are right behind him. They close the door slowly and he turns around, frowning at first then scared. The cigarette on his lips falls to the floor and he raises his arms.

Fred tries to run towards the gun on his desk but Levi throws a kick, forcing him to the ground.

“Keep quiet, Fred,” he says. 

“P-please, don't eat me,” Fred pleads.

“What?”

“Erwin's at the end of the hallway.” Fred's voice is shaky, he swallows. “Wald put him there.”

“Erwin's on this floor?”

“Yes-yes, please, I swear I had nothing to do with this, we didn't have a choice, Levi. Wald took over after Zeke left.”

“Where did Zeke go?”

“He took the Warriors, he left to the Walls.”

“How many men are on this floor?”

Fred frowns. “E-everyone,” he stutters. “We don't… we stay clear of the officer's rooms—we… they say they are haunted after you feed off of them.”

Levi looks back at Mikasa quizzically. He expected a fight but wasn't counting on everyone going batshit crazy.

“Walk out of this ship with your hands up—”

“No-no-no- please, please, don't kill me,” Fred sobs, snot dripping down his nose.

“I'm trying to fucking save you, dickhead!” Levi snarls, tugging his filthy uniform.

“Please, please, please, I beg of you, don't eat me, I don't wanna die—I don't wanna haunt this ship forever.”

Levi sighs and punches Fred in the face, instantly shutting him up. “We're better off without him,” he tells Mikasa, letting go of his clothes.

“Things won’t be going as planned,” she points out.

“They still have automatic guns, they're dangerous. Let's go.”

Right at the end of this corridor, Erwin's closer than he thought, but every soldier is on this floor as well. It won’t be easy getting to him or getting him out; Levi and Mikasa will have to deal with them one way or another. They need everyone to surrender to avoid the slaughter. Taking Erwin right now might spark up violence that could easily be avoided. Everyone is afraid of him here. With soldiers, it's not easy to know who will shit themselves to death and who would rather die in bloodshed.

“Hey,” Levi exclaims to the soldiers sitting in the next room. 

They turn around and panic just like Fred did, just like anyone who sees Levi coming does.

“Stand up slowly, where are your guns?” He points his gun and blade at them.

“We don't… we don't have any guns,” one of them answers, Shayne. He joined the military at thirteen, like everyone else, and fought in Valerica with Levi; he can't be older than fifteen now.

“Cuffs? Knives?” Levi takes a step closer, but Shayne’s eyebrow twitches as he draws his gun and shoots. Levi manages to hit the bullet with his blade right as it’s aiming at Mikasa and then shoots Shayne in the leg. 

He goes down in tears and screams and everything goes to shit. 

The rest of the soldiers run to one of the corners covering their heads, while one attempts to take Shayne’s gun. Once he notices Levi getting closer, however, all the courage leaves his body. Instead, he falls to his knees and begs. The damage is already done; they can see soldiers screaming down the corridor, running towards the room, so they take cover, standing on each side of the door. 

When the first soldier walks in, Levi smashes his grapple right into his face, and feels the nose breaking with the hit.

He points his gun at the soldiers inside the room and screams,  “Get the fuck out! Walk out of this ship with your hands up!”

The soldiers do as they are told, sprinting out of the room, leaving Shayne weeping on the floor and jumping over the soldier with the broken nose. Levi hears them yell as they escape, yet nobody else comes in. Nobody else is running towards the room to shoot at them or capture them.

“They want us to come to them,” Levi tells Mikasa. 

She crouches and rummages through the soldier’s pocket. Not much, but she hands some cuffs to Levi and takes the gun for herself. She knows how to shoot a rifle; she will do fine with a pistol, and Levi trusts she won’t shoot to kill. 

They can hear whispers from within the rooms, the steps, the clank of their guns. Levi and Mikasa creep across the corridors, careful to keep silent. They watch a soldier run from one door to the other.

“I'm here for Erwin!” Levi exclaims, hearing his voice echo through the steel. “Leave this ship if you wanna live!”

The rain trickles against the windows, the waves crash against the ship. 

“You're lying!” a voice exclaims.

“You don't want to do this!” Levi answers. “We fought together. I saved your fucking lives! I won't hesitate to take you down if you stand in my way!”

They hear something dripping upstairs and then the clanking sound of something rolling down the corridor. Levi stares at it and clenches his teeth.

“Fuck, run!” he exclaims, tugging Mikasa back to the previous room.

It's a smoke grenade, but considering everyone's insanity here, it won't take time for them to use explosive ones.

“Don't breathe this in,” he says, wrapping his cape around his face so that she does the same. “Stay away from it. It stings your eyes too.”

He finds Shayne and the other soldier cornered against the other side of the room.

“Why would they do that?” Mikasa mumbles through her cape. “How are they getting out?”

“They are desperate, they lack a leader. Let’s go.”

They walk out and away from the smoke, back into the rainy night. Several soldiers are running, escaping through windows and freezing as soon as they see Levi. They try to attack but fail, because they are slow and unprepared for this, so Levi punches and kicks them, forcing them to yield. He grips the shirt on one of them and shakes, asking for information but he just begs and cries, snot dripping down his nose as water pours over him. 

Levi drops him and keeps heading for the other side of the ship. He thinks he could drag Erwin out of a window and take him to safety, letting the Corps deal with everyone else. 

Someone else hops out a window but as soon as he sees Levi, he runs away and jumps overboard. Shots are fired inside, bringing panic into Levi’s chest. They might as well be killing Erwin, making sure Levi can’t take him. So he speeds up, walking into the next room with an open window.

The gas has yet to get here which means they are surrounded. Luckily the soldiers don't know where he’s coming from, so he peeks out of a door and listens to everyone's steps. He nods at Mikasa to walk out and keep moving down the corridor.

“Tonight you die, fucking devil!” 

Levi turns around to find Wald. He shoots but Levi deflects the bullet with his blade and stares back at him; he wouldn’t mind killing Wald.

“What did you do with Erwin?”

Wald doesn’t answer; he runs into the next room and Levi follows right after, only to find soldiers pointing their guns at him. They shoot nonstop and he takes cover behind the door, watching the bullets pierce through the walls of the ship. One pierces his arm and he groans.

“Check the rooms!” he tells Mikasa. “Get out of here!”

He isn’t scared of a couple of guns shooting at him. When the shooting stops he can tell where everyone is standing, he hears them breathing, shaking and weeping. He pays attention to the clips falling to the floor as the soldiers reload and makes his move. He runs into the room, slipping one of his blades loose to slice through a soldier’s legs, he shoots another in the shoulder and hides behind a large table. The hard steel covers him from more bullets until everything goes quiet and the whining of soldiers is all he can hear.

“Is he dead?” one of them asks.

“He’s not fucking dead!” another one answers. “Go check it out!”

“Fuck this shit, I’m getting out of here.”

“Motherfucking coward!”

“You should run too!” Levi yells but nobody answers. 

He kicks one of the chairs, making a screeching sound, and jumps the other way. He throws another blade to unarm a soldier and shoots two more. He sees most of them leaving, until it’s just him and another kid. Levi doesn’t know his name and it kills him. 

He knows the kid will shoot, he can sense it in the atmosphere; in the way he breathes and stares and how firmly he grabs his rifle. He thinks he will win this fight by himself, maybe he dreams of being a hero. Wald certainly follows that train of thought, which means he could’ve been poisoning everyone’s minds. The ship is full of cowards and wanna-be heroes, none of them will survive, not even if they join the Corps.

Levi doesn’t want to shoot, but he hasn’t loaded a new blade on his grip, so he will get out of this with another bullet in him. It should be the end, there isn’t much more to do other than making sure Erwin’s safe and getting rid of Wald.

The kid finally shoots and Levi does what he can, but he has never truly managed to dodge a bullet and it pierces through his cheek and ear. Levi shoots at the kid’s stomach and earns two more bullets on his leg before he falls to the floor. 

It’s the whining again, embracing the room and silencing the storm outside. Levi’s tired of hurting; himself and everyone else around him. He needs this to stop. He’s tired of being born to fight when that’s not what he enjoys doing. His blood is constantly rooting against him but it also keeps him going. He gets up.

Yesterday

Levi kicks open the door to Eren Yeager’s basement. It feels like a waste of time when Erwin’s well-being is on the line, but he understands what working for a bigger cause means. For the first time in years, he trusts the person in charge. He knows Nanaba is truthful when she says they are saving Erwin and the Eldian soldiers on that ship. So she needs this. Whatever Zeke’s father has been hiding here must be proof that Erwin’s words were always real, that they were the truth.

There are three diaries under the false bottom of a drawer. There’s a photo of Grisha Yeager with his family. And there Levi can see him, little Zeke, blond and sad on his mother’s lap. Grisha tells the whole truth of humanity in perfect detail and every word sounds like Zeke, smart and insistent. He had a horrible childhood, just like every other Eldian, and grew up with fear and resentment. The only difference is that he learned the truth. Grisha got mixed with the resistance, the Eldia Restorationists. 

Levi might have heard all about Ackermans, everything Marley had to say about Eldians, and he knew Zeke’s father was killed because he was plotting against the government. What Levi never knew was that Zeke’s mother was royalty.

Thunder reverberates across the skies, announcing an inevitable storm. The Corps sit by campfires while others guard the hole in the wall. Several titans were waiting in this district to be taken down, and the more the soldiers know about them, the easier it is to get organized to take them down. Still, they lost over twenty soldiers just getting here.

“The Attack Titan,” Hange says. “That’s the name of the titan you inherited from your father, right?”

Eren doesn’t answer, he’s bawling his eyes out. Levi grips his shirt and shoves him to the ground, shaking him despite Mikasa’s burning gaze. He’d feel sorry for the boy if he wasn’t a Yeager, if he didn’t know his brother and hadn’t just learned about his father. 

“You should speak now, Eren,” Levi deadpans, his grip is strong but his voice is calm. “Your father must’ve said something to you. He lived a second life on this island; he came from outside the walls.”

“I don't know! I didn't know!” Eren sobs, “What do you want from me? I’m useless, I can’t help at all!”

“I can break each of your fingers if that refreshes your memory,” Levi says. “You’ll put them back in place after all, huh?”

“Eren!” Mikasa exclaims but doesn’t dare to move closer when Levi looks at her.

“Historia,” Nanaba calls. “Is it okay if we call you that?”

“Yes,” she nods, holding Ymir’s hand, sitting impossibly close to her. “I will stand by my true name. I’m no longer hiding.”

“You’ve always known your true family,” Nanaba tells her. “If there’s anything you can add to this cause, this is the time.”

Historia looks down at her hands, brushing her fingers with Ymir and looking back at her. 

Ymir nods and clears her throat. “I have something to say.”

“Another offspring of royal blood?” Levi asks.

“No, but… I too come from outside the walls,” Ymir says.

Now

He's there, cuffed to some furniture. He's looking down at the floor, naked and pale except for his free arm. A belt is tightly wrapped around his wrist, blackened around it. 

No fucking hand.

“Erwin!” Levi exclaims, choking on the word, running towards him. 

He kneels to cup his face, forcing Erwin to look at him. He's got cuts over his eyebrows, nose, and lips. On his chest and legs too. He stinks. The handcuffs have cut through his wrist so Levi frees him from them.

“Erwin! Shit!”

Erwin finally fixes his eyes on Levi, a smile turning his lips. He looks like he's about to say something when they hear someone running up to them. Levi looks around; the whole room is crooked, several chairs and tables have been thrown against one of the walls. He runs behind one of them and waits.

“Come out, devil!” a soldier exclaims. “Where is he?”

“You’re dead men,” Erwin croaks.

Levi throws a chair, knocking the soldiers down and runs towards them, pushing them to the ground. He takes their guns and kicks them away. They try to fight back, but can barely throw a punch as Levi knocks them unconscious. There are at least three bullets burning in his flesh and Levi wonders how many more people he can spare before one makes it to his brain.

“Don’t you fucking move!” a voice screams by the door. The guy’s too scared; his hand trembles around the trigger and sweat drips down his forehead, making him blink repeatedly. 

They hear more screams and shooting outside; Mikasa is still leading people out and some just won’t surrender. That’s why he knows this soldier won’t either, so he takes one of the unconscious soldiers on the floor and uses them as cover when the boy pulls the trigger.

Two shots hit the body, one makes it through and pierces Levi’s hand. A fourth one is followed by a thump. Levi gets out of cover to find the boy on the floor, blood dripping from his head. Erwin’s still aiming at him, face pale, eyes blacked out. 

Levi crawls towards him and takes the gun away, throwing it back to the floor, further away this time. Erwin’s eyes are out of focus, he isn’t looking at anything, he’s too weak; he must’ve lost a lot of blood. He holds Erwin’s good arm carefully and drapes it over his shoulder.

“The Corps are here; we’re emptying the ship and camping by the beach. I’ll make sure the coast is clear before I take you with me,” he says, pulling Erwin behind the rest of the furniture. “Fuck, I hope you’re listening.”

Jean pulls another body from the ocean and lines it up with the rest. Over twenty soldiers drowned tonight and the ocean is washing their bodies back into the shore. Nanaba stands in front of them like she’s mourning the loss of her own men. Levi hates to see Wald among the rest, face bloated, foam gushing out of his mouth; he deserved worse. 

Levi walks next to her, staring down at one of them and hates to see him too.

“That’s Mike,” Levi says. “He deserved better.” 

“He didn’t jump off the boat,” she says, pointing at the shot wounds on his chest. “He was killed by his own men.”

“By the same bastard who cut off Erwin’s hand,” he explains, pointing at Wald’s corpse. 

Nanaba kneels to hold Mike under his shoulders, Levi helps with his legs; they will have to bury them all in the same hole. They can’t burn the bodies; it might call the Warrior’s attention, and it just doesn’t feel right. 

Mikasa’s on Eren’s shoulder, guiding him while he digs a communal grave. They’ve torn down the ship with the help of Ymir and her Jaw titan, using the metal to build up camp. They have beds and mattresses—the ones from the general’s bedroom cannot be used again, the bodies were left to rot in a pool of ugly mess.

Some soldiers are cuffed inside a makeshift prison; they are resilient, calling everyone devils, blaming them for everything that’s happened. Others have just gone insane from being on a ship filled with death. They will still be fed and treated fairly. There is plenty of food to keep this camp alive for a few more days before they are ready to move again. One thing’s for sure, Zeke won’t retreat to attack them at the beach; they are setting something up beneath the walls.

Every few hours, Levi walks into Erwin’s tent and stares at his face. There's a lot to do outside, but he can't help walking back into this tent to check on Erwin. Levi wouldn't want him to wake up hurting and alone.

He washes Erwin’s body and cares for his wounds; he combs his hair and kisses his forehead. He sings his favourite songs, hoping Erwin is dreaming of them dancing, hoping he can smell the fresh soap and know Levi’s taking care of him, that he will never leave his side.

He goes back outside to work, to help Eren and Ymir with their titan training. He’s sure that with enough work, they could shift into better, stronger versions of themselves. The Jaw titan doesn’t even have a jaw; there’s a lot of work to do and too little time to work. If the prisoners are being truthful, Marley is coming for them. There are enemies within the walls and on the other side of the ocean, but there are not enough soldiers to fight them. 

It's still raining though not as hard anymore. Levi listens to the drops hitting the roof of the tent. He sits next to Erwin to go to sleep just like he’s been doing it every night. He takes off his boots and lies right beside him, wrapping an arm over Erwin's chest. He sighs and kisses Erwin.

There's a war going on outside; there are corpses piled up under the sand, hurt and confused young soldiers, kids with dreams and hopes and fear. Everything they fought for has been a lie; they are building their lives back up.

Everything Levi has is right here, under this thin blanket, breathing softly. Erwin doesn't look as pale anymore but his right arm is gnarly and swollen under the bandages. Levi made sure Hange kept everything clean during the surgery; he stood right next to Erwin during the procedure, from beginning to end, and he bandaged him himself. He was delicate and loving. Better than Hange with their bloody hands.

“The kids are excited to see the ocean,” he tells Erwin in a low voice. He misses talking to him. “Though it’s Hange acting more like a kid than anyone else. They screamed so loud after finding a starfish that I thought they’d wake you up.”

He traces a finger across Erwin’s eyebrows and down his nose.

“Armin looks at the ocean the same way you used to look at me.” He huffs a laugh. “The story from his favourite book is true. I wonder how long it will take him to notice there’s nothing special about that. Books make things sound better than they truly are. Just like the books Marleyans read to make their country seem glorious when it’s full of death.”

He moves to cup Erwin’s face and kisses his temple; he brushes Erwin’s hair back and misses his blue eyes. He wonders if Erwin is also floating through Andromeda just like Levi is when he’s hurt; whatever that feeling is, it makes him feel at home.

“Please wake up before I leave in the morning,” Levi whispers. “Please.”

He closes his eyes even though he can’t sleep; he hasn't slept for days. The last time he was able to  relax was in that linen room, everything else after that has been going past him in rapid motion: escaping Kenny, fighting with Nanaba, breaking into the basement, watching soldiers jump overboard, finding Erwin with a missing hand.

“Lee… ” Erwin mumbles underneath him.

“Erwin, I’m here.”