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Chapter Text

(The New adventures of Winnie the Pooh theme)

(The Pooh's adventures intro plays with a montage of spliced footage from different media with Pooh and pals ans their enemies)

Murfy (Voice Only): Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, pause the intro.

(The intro is paused and Murfy flies into the sight of the screen)

Murfy: Oh nonononononononono We are not using that intro like the others. It's about time we used something different.

(Murfy notices the computer and switches the editing software from Windows Movie Maker to Vegas Pro)

Murfy: I'll have you know that this ain't gonna be like one of those cringe adventures.

(Murfy is editing the new intro, using the original Winnie the Pooh theme)

Murfy: I mean, it may be a bit cringe, but it's not as cringe as the autistic manchildren who make these crossovers. Oh, if you're wondering how got Vegas Pro even though it's a bit out of my budget, come closer.

(The camera zooms in)

Murfy: Alright, now just a little bit closer.

(The camera zooms in a bit closer)

Murfy (Whispering): The secret ingredient is some good old-fashioned piracy.

(The camera zooms back out)

French narrator: One hour later.

Murfy: Alright, it's done!

(Murfy puts the intro in a hard drive and converts it to a reel through a magical media transitioner)

Murfy: Enjoy the new and improved intro! Oh, and one more thing, this may be the only time i'm gonna be in this, but who knows? Maybe i'll make more appearances.

(Murfy turns on the camera and the new intro plays)

(That trap remix of the original Winnie the Pooh theme)

Hundred acre wood

(Ash, Misty, Brock, Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky, Spike, Petrie, Ruby, Chomper, Rabbit, Eeyore, Tigger, Kanga, Roo, Piglet, Buzzie, Flaps, Ziggy, Dizzy, and Ttark all approach Pooh's house and knock on the door)

(Pooh opens the door)

Pooh: Hello? Hey, Ash, Piglet, Misty, Brock, Tigger, Littlefoot, all of you. What brings you here?

Ash: Hey Pooh, it's us! Remember when we went out on those adventures together?

Pooh: I don't want to talk about it.

Tigger: Why not, Pooh boy?

Pooh: It's just, every time we go on these adventures, we don't do anything to help and there are like so many characters that tag along with us that I lost count of how many people were with us. I basically lead an entire army at this point.

Rabbit: That's understandable Pooh, but we're not here to get you to go on another adventure.

Pooh: You're not?

Eeyore: For now.

Piglet: No, we just want to hang out with our favorite silly ol' bear.

Pooh: Aw, that's really nice of you guys. Come on in!

(Pooh's friends enter pooh's house)

Int. Winnie the pooh's house

Pooh: So, Littlefoot and others, how's the great valley been?

Littlefoot: Great! We get to eat all the tree stars we want and don't have to worry about sharpteeth eating us!

Pooh: Well, Littlefoot. That sounds like paradise.

Cera: Well that's because it is, captain obvious.

Tigger: Say, Ashy boy. How's being a Pokemon master?

Ash: It's been okay so far. All I want to do is make more friends and travel.

Tigger: Oh.

Roo: So Ttark, how's it been?

Ttark: It's been fine. I've been doing some research lately about the all the creatures, and ever since the Dimensional Merge happened, i've decided to research the creatures from dimension C-197. Gotta stay up to date even when you're extinct!

Kanga: That's nice.

Rabbit: So Jiminy, how's it been ever since Pinocchio became a real boy?

Jiminy: Well, ever since Pinocchio became a real boy, he didn't need me as his conscious anymore and so, we went our separate ways. 

Piglet: So then what did you do?

Jiminy: Well, I tried my hand at helping others, like Sora. That one actually went well, unlike the other one.

Flaps: Well who was the other one?

Jiminy: I don't want to mention it.

Cera: Come on, how are we supposed to know how bad he was to you?

Jiminy: I said I don't want to mention it, and that's final.

Spike: [Growls]

Jiminy: Aah! Okay, fine. Do you know about the rhyme Little Jack Horner?

Pikachu: Pika?

Jiminy: Yeah. That was a long time ago. Little Jack's all grown up and not the same. The first time I met him was when I was captured in this bottomless bag he had.

Eeyore: Sounds comfy.

Jiminy: Now anyways, he's now referred to as Big Jack Horner. I tried everything to redeem him, but no. He was just simply an irredeemable monster!

Rabbit: Well that's the thing Jiminy. Not all people can be redeemed.

Jiminy: I know, Rabbit. I learned that the hard way.

Brock: Anyways, Pooh. How have you guys been ever since Christopher left?

Pooh: I have no hard feelings. I understand that people have to grow up. And although we're doing good, it's not the same without him.

Ash: Anyways, I bought my laptop. Do you guys want to watch some videos on the net?

Tigger: Sure, Ashy boy! Binge-watching is what Tiggers do best!

Rabbit: I don't see why not.

Ash: Alright then, let's do it!

Petrie: Oh, me get tree stars!

Ducky: We'll be right back, we will, we will.

Spike: [growls in agreement]

Pooh: Let me get the honey.

(Pooh goes to the pantry to get some honey but there's none left)

Pooh: Oh, bother. I'm out of honey.

Misty: It's okay, Pooh. You don't have to-

Pooh: I know, but still. I will be back.

(Winnie the pooh leaves his house in search for some honey for the binge watchig)

Hundred Acre Wood

(Winnie the pooh is walking around the forest, looking for honey)

Tree: Hey Pooh bear! I see that you've got some friends over.

Pooh: Yeah, we're about to do some binge-watching.

Tree: Huh, so you just sit around and watch a crap ton of videos?

Pooh: Yeah. Anyway, I gotta go get some honey, see you soon.

(A tree spirit pops out of a tree hole)

Tree spirit: So what's he up to now?

Tree: Just the usual.

Tree spirit: Huh. You know, when the dimensional merge happened, I expected things to be more exciting, you know.

(Pooh continues walking in search of more honey)

(Pooh finds a big rock and climbs on top of it to see the nearest beehive. He sees a beehive nearby and climbs down the rock. Pooh's walking toward the beehive)

Pooh: 🎼 A pooh bear takes care of his tummy, he fills it with things that are sweet! A pooh bear takes care of his tummy, by never forgetting to ea-🎼

(Winnie the pooh stops singing due to seeing a beehive mourning over something)

(Winnie the pooh slowly moves towards the beehive)

Pooh: What happened here?

Bees: Buzz buzz buzz! (Our queen died!)

Pooh: What happened?

Bees: Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz. (We were attacked by a colony of ants.)

Pooh: But I've heard that if a queen dies, one of the workers becomes the queen. Why don't you do that?

Bees: Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz. (It's gonna happen over and over again.)

Pooh: Has this happened multiple times before?

Bees: Buzz (Yes)

Pooh: Oh. I feel really bad about you guys. You're all afraid, you don't know what to do, I don't know what to do either.

Pooh: Think Pooh, think.

(Pooh thinks about the situation and how he could fix it. He eventually comes up with a solution)

Pooh: I have an idea! I could take care of you!

Bees: Buzz? (What?)

Pooh: I mean, you could live in my house. I could take care of you like the son I never had.

Bees: Buzz buzz... buzz. (That sounds... interesting.)

Pooh: What I'm saying is, why don't you guys live with me?

Bees: Buzz buzz buzz? Buzz buzz. (You know what? Why not.)

Pooh: Alright! Come on, let's go back to my house.

(The bees grab Pooh)

Pooh: What are you doing?

(The bees form a jetpack for Pooh to fly)

Pooh: Oh, I understand. Now let's go!

(Pooh flies to his home with the help of his new bee pals)

Ext. Pooh's House

(Pooh lands in front of his house and opens the door)

Tigger: Hey, Pooh boy! Where have ya been?

Pooh: Just looking for honey.

Tigger: Oh, OK. And what's that big black ball cloud [points at bees] doing here?

Pooh: Oh, they're just some bees I decided to take care of.

Tigger: Oh. Anyways, come on in, Pooh boy. We're gonna start binge-watching.

Pooh: Wait, now? OK.

(Pooh and the bees enter inside the house)

Ash: Alright, let's get started!

French Narrator: 2 hours later.

Piglet: Wow. That was a lot of videos!

Pikachu: Pika?

Ash: OK. Just one more video.

(Ash scrolls down his laptop and sees a interesting video)

Ash: The very first Pooh's Adventures cringe compilation by Max goes fourth?

Pooh: Wait, so they documented all of our adventures?

Rabbit: Yeah. It turns out the adventures we went on were not that good.

Tigger: Well what are we waiting for? Let's watch the compilation.

Ash: Alright.

(Ash clicks on the video)

Pooh: To be honest, I don't even know if the adventures we went on were actual adventures.

Eeyore: They weren't.

French narrator: 30 minutes later.

(Pooh and pals are still watching the video, with Winnie the Pooh looking like he doesn't want to watch it anymore)

Pooh: I'm sorry, I can't watch any more of this cringe compilation. It's bringing back bad memories.

Tigger: Come on, Pooh boy. We haven't even gone halfway through the video!

Piglet: Yeah, at least watch half of the compilation and you can call it quits.

Pooh: Fine.

French Narrator: 10 minutes later.

Pooh: Alright, I watched half of the video, I'm done.

Rabbit: Already? Why are you so reluctant to do these things with us? Why do you have these "Bad memories" with these adventures?

Pooh: Because they weren't actual adventures, ok! All we ever did was go follow the heroes, not doing anything to help, not to mention the insane numbers of people we had on our team, it's like having an entire village follow you! We have powerful members in our team, yet they don't do anything to help at all. And the relatives, oh the relatives. Do you know a fun fact? Baloo, Po, Little John, etc aren't my cousins, the orchestrators of these adventures made me say that they were my cousins. I'm literally a bear stuffed with fluff, for Pete's sake, how can living bears be my cousins?

Tigger: Oh, that reminds me of my cousin, Hobbes.

Pooh: Is he actually your cousin, Tigger?

Tigger: Yes. I mean, we're both tigers stuffed with fluff.

Pooh: Oh, that makes sense.

Jiminy: Gee, Pooh, I didn't know how much you disliked these adventures.

Pooh: Yeah. I mean I didn't even plan to take on these adventures. Some manchildren decided to orchestrate all the adventures we've been to.

Piglet: Huh. Wait what!?

(Owl flies into Pooh's house)

Owl: You heard right, Piglet, it's true.

Ash: Wait, so does that mean all those adventures we went to weren't actual adventures?

Owl: Probably. And Pooh Bear is right, you know. He didn't have the idea to go on these adventures, the manchildren did.

Rabbit: Wait. By manchildren which manchildren are you referring to?

Owl: The autistic ones on the internet.

Rabbit: Oh.

Owl: Yeah. They were the ones who orchestrated these adventures. You see, they have control of every character they hire for these so called "Adventures" in a contract. If a character would violate the contract, they would get fired. They had us meet people outside the Hundred Acre Wood, in both good and bad ways. Hell, when some of us tried to get them to actually make our adventures better, they either dismissed it or threw a tantrum. Please forgive me for saying this, but the people who make these crossovers are beyond autistic, they're mentally retarded.

Pooh: Oh.

Tigger: I ain't no snowflake, but why would you say that!?

Petrie: Wait, what did Owl say?

Tigger (Whispering): The hard R. And I don't mean the one that's used to refer to people of African-American descent if you know what I mean.

Piglet: But Owl, you can't say that! We're children's characters!

Owl: I know, I know. But we're in a work that's unrated. Plus, the manchildren who made these adventures thought it was a better idea when crossing over with more mature works to censor any adult content rather than not have our crossover with the mature works at all. But hey, at least we're free from censorship. I mean, at least let us swear sometimes, for fuck's sake!

Pooh: Oh bother. This is worse than the time I entered into the public domain.

Int. French Narrator's submarine

(The French Narrator is seen reading a book)

French Narrator: Wait, was there supposed to be a cutaway?

British Narrator: (Sigh) Yes, there was supposed to be a cutaway.

French Narrator: Wait, but I thought only Family Guy could do that stuff.

British Narrator: What are you talking about? Anyone could do a cutaway, now let's get on with it!

Cutaway gag No.1

(Winnie the Pooh walks into the land of the Public Domain)

Pooh: Well, I've finally entered into the public domain. I guess it shouldn't be that ba-

(Winnie the Pooh stops and sees a poster for Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey)

Pooh: Sometimes, it's things like these that make me wish I'd never entered into the public domain.

Int. Pooh's house

Owl: What I'm trying to say is, we don't have to follow the same old unoriginal adventures that the manchildren had us go. We can find our own adventures and do something actually adventurous.

Piglet: Yeah, Owl's right!

Ash: Hey Owl. About these "Adventures", how did it all start?

Owl: You see, it all started when we were just having our usual adventures in the Hundred Acre Wood.

Hundred Acre Wood flashback

Owl: We were just having our normal adventures as usual, but then they appeared.

(Some mysterious figures sneak around the bushes)

Owl: They were called the Poohphiles. They basically wore costumes of us.

Poohphile #1 (dressed as Winnie the Pooh): Hey Pooh and pals, how have your adventures been?

Pooh: Good? (How did they get here?)

Poohphile #2 (dressed as Tigger): Well guess what, we have an amazing idea for you guys!

Tigger: Hey Pooh boy, what's going on?

Poohphile #3 (dressed as Piglet): That just reminded me of something. Pooh bear, why don't you get the rest of your friends and I'll tell y'all my plan. Except for Christopher.

Pooh: OK

The poohphiles: [Chuckles] This is gonna be fun.

Owl (VO): When we got all of our friends, they made us sign this contract where the rules were as follows: No swearing, no changing the plot, say that everyone of the same animal as you is your relative, if your a powerful character don't do anything, etc.

France

Poohphile #1: Alright, we're here!

Owl (VO): they took us around the country only to stop for a moment. 

Poohphile #1: You see that woman over there [Points at Belle]? Why don't you go talk to her and introduce yourselves.

Pooh: Why tho?

Poohphile #1: Just do it!

(The poohphiles push Pooh and pals out of the bush, tumbling down until they saw Belle)

Belle: What are you strange creatures?

Pooh: Sorry about that, uh ... this is Tigger, and Rabbit, and Piglet and Eeyore

Eeyore: Thanks for noticing.

Pooh: And I'm Winnie the Pooh.

Int. Pooh's House

Owl: And then we went on all these types of "adventures", we barely even got to help! Anyway, that's how it all started.

Pooh: Yeah, I don't have fond memories of that.

Piglet: Oh, that reminds me, how did we all quit?

Pooh: Well, you see.

Hundred Acre Wood flashback

(The hundred Acre Wood is packed with every single character you can think of, and Pooh's not happy about it)

Poohphile #1: Oh, Pooh Bear, ready for another adventure?

Pooh (VO): It was then i decided, i had enough.

Pooh: You know what, fuck you and your stupid fucking adventures!

Poohphile #1: Oh, Pooh Bear. [pulls out the contract] You're in violation of the contract.

(Pooh grabs the contract and rips it to the pieces)

Pooh: No! Fuck the contract and fuck you, you autistic, childish, homophobic bastards.

Everyone: [gasps]

Pooh: No, no, no, no. You know what? Everyone get the fuck out of the wood, now.

(Everyone is reluctant to leave, until someone decides to voice his opinion.)

Tai: You know what? I agree. These adventures are pretty fucking stupid anyways, you know? But despite them, it was boughr all of us together, and Pooh, goodbye, we might meet again some day.

(Everyone leaves the Hundred Acre Wood happily, knowing that this clusterfuck may have made all of them friends)

Poohphile #1: What did you do!?

(Pooh kicks poohphile #1 in the balls.)

Poohphile #3: Hey, you can't do that!

Pooh: Come on everyone, let's get them out of here!

Int. Pooh's house

Rabbit: You know, i thought that was kinda epic.

Buzzie: So Flaps, what are we gonna do now?

Flaps: I don't - Hey, don't start that shit again!

Petrie: Well then, what we waiting for? Let's go!

Tigger: Wait. What about our enemy, Bowser Koopa?

Pooh: Oh yeah, I haven't even realized that.

Rabbit: Who knows, maybe he's plotting another scheme to get rid of us or maybe he's trying to capture Princess Peach.

Pooh: I don't know, Rabbit. Either one of those or he just stopped being the big bad with our adventures.

Owl: Well, it could most likely be that, Winnie the Pooh. I mean, the manchildren hired Bowser into being the big bad in our adventures because the previous ones we went to didn't have an antagonist.

Pooh: Oh. Well, it was nice having you all here, so see you later.

Piglet: Wait, now?

Pooh: Yes, Piglet.

Piglet: Awwwwww, fine.

Tigger: See you later, Pooh boy!

Rabbit: Have a good day.

Pooh: Oh, and Eeyore?

Eeyore: Yes?

Pooh: Please at least be a bit happy. You don't have to be depressed all the time, it's not good for you.

Eeyore: Thanks, Pooh. And have a great day.

Owl: Well, that was very kind of you, Pooh.

Jiminy: It sure is, Owl.

Owl: Anyways, I gotta go. Bye!

Pooh: Bye, everyone. See you soon.

(When everyone left, Pooh closed his door and fell asleep)

(Littlefoot and the others went back to the great valley, the vultures from the Jungle Book returned to their home, Ash and the others went back to the Kanto region, and Jiminy... well, let's just say Jiminy decided to stay with Winnie the Pooh as his conscious)

Chapter Text

(Int- Pooh's House)

(Winnie the Pooh is frantically going through the pantry)

Pooh: Come on, honey. Come out, come out wherever you are.

Pooh: Oh bother, I'm all out of honey. Do you guys have any honey?

Bees: Buzz (No)

Pooh: Oh bother, where am I going to get some honey?

(Pooh sat down and thought about where he could get some honey. Until something crossed his mind)

Pooh: Wait a minute ... I've heard about the biggest honeypot in the world, maybe i could go search for that!

(Pooh runs out of his house in order to search for the biggest honeypot)

Tree: What's that silly ol' bear up to now?

French narrator: 2 hours later

Pooh: [Pant] Oh bother, when will I find this [Pant] honeypot?

(Pooh finally sees the giant honeypot)

Pooh: Yes! Lifetime supply of honey, here i come!

(Pooh runs towards the honeypot, ready to dive into the lifetime supply of honey, but there was one thing wrong)

Pooh: Wait, where's the honeypot? [Looks around a bit.] Oh bother, there wasn't any. I must've hallucinated.

(A raccoon is seen sneaking around the bushes, intrigued by Pooh Bear for some reason)

Raccoon: Hey there, buddy. What's wrong?

Pooh: Nothing much, just trying to look for some honey.

Racoon: But why the long face, kid?

Pooh: I've heard about there being the biggest honeypot in the world, and it was all just a big hallucination!

Raccoon: Ah, that honeypot's just a load of baloney, but you know what's real? [Whispers to Pooh] The biggest beehive.

Pooh: Really, Where?

Raccoon: Well, follow me and i'll show ya!

(Pooh follows the raccoon, not knowing the danger that lies ahead)

Pooh: So where's this beehive?

Raccoon: It's a suprise, man.

Pooh: Alright.

(The raccoon leads Pooh out of the Hundred Acre Wood, & at the same time his pals came to visit him)

Ash: So what do you think he's up to now?

Piglet: I think he's just relaxing, who knows?

Tigger: I mean, we're visiting Pooh Bear, so why not check on him?

(When they reached Pooh's house, Tigger knocks on the door)

Tigger: Hello? Pooh boy, you in there?

(Tigger busts the door open without hesitation)

Tigger: Pooh boy! Where are you!?

Bees: Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz!? (Why would you do that!?)

Tigger: Do you guys know where Pooh boy is?

Bees: Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz. (He ran out of honey so he decided to try to find the [forms an air quote] "biggest honeypot".)

Tigger: Hm, i see... ran out of honey... went to find a really big honeypot... that's it!

Rabbit: wha-

Tigger: No time to think, let's find Pooh boy!

(The group runs out of Pooh's house)

Bees: [Shrugs]

(The bees follow them)

(Scotland)

(The raccoon is leading Pooh, as they walked for hours.)

Pooh: When are we gonna [pants] see this beehive?

Raccoon: Trust me, we'll get there. Just keep on following me.

(They keep on walking. But little do they know, someone was watching them)

Bees: Buzz. Buzz buzz buzz buzz. (Huh. So that's where he was.)

French narrator: 2 hours later...

Pooh: [pants] Are we there yet?

Raccoon: Almost. We just gotta go through here [points at the entrance towards Aensland Castle].

Pooh: Really? [Shivering] Through that [points at entrance]?

Raccoon: Yep. Come on! We only got like a few more miles left to the beehive!

(The raccoon runs ahead of Pooh)

Pooh: Well, if it means getting a lifetime supply of honey, [shrugs] i don't see why not.

(Pooh runs after the raccoon)

(Scene: England)

Misty: So where do you think he is?

Brock: I don't know. It's almost as he's left without a trace.

Petrie: Me go look, guys.

(Petrie flys to the sky to look for Pooh bear, only to be met with a colony of bees charging at him)

Petrie: AAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

(Petrie swoops back down)

Tigger: So, did you find something, flappy boy?

Petrie: Bunch of tiny flyers, flying right towards me!

(The bees swoop down)

Bees: Buzz buzz buzz buzz. Buzz buzz! (We just found Pooh. Come on!)

(The bees form a airplane and takes everyone on it to find Pooh bear)

(Makai realm)

(The raccoon and Pooh are tip-toeing across the realm)

Pooh: Are we there yet?

Raccoon: Almost! Just hold on a little longer.

French narrator: 5 minutes later...

(Pooh and the Raccoon reach a very large beehive)

Raccoon: Here we are! She's all yours.

Pooh: YES! YEEEEEEEEEEEES! Lifetime supply of honey, here i come!

(Winnie the Pooh runs towards the beehive)

Raccoon (Whispering): [chuckles] Sucker. Fatass has no idea what he's 'bout to get into.

(Pooh enters the beehive and starts eating the honey)

Pooh: Oh, [smack] this is a dream come true!

???: Well, well, well. Look what we have here.

Pooh: Huh?

Raccoon: [laughs] Yep. He's all yours, my queen.

Q-Bee: Thank you. 

Raccoon: [chuckles] No problem.

(The raccoon transforms, revealing it to be a Tanuki)

Pooh: Wait, why is your sack [points at nutsack] that big?

Tanuki: It's japanese mythology, man. It's gonna be weird somewhere. Anyways, see ya later! [Laughs] [exits the hive]

Pooh: Oh bother.

(Sky)

(Flying Battery zone act 1- Sonic Mania OST)

Jiminy: Does anyone see Pooh?

Tigger: Don't see him anywhere. But i do see a flying racoon coming towards us.

Bees: Buzz, buzz? (Wait, what?)

Tigger: Yeah, it has this large sack coming from it's crotch.

(The bee plane rushes towards the tanuki in order to find the wherabouts of Pooh bear)

Tanuki: What the he-

(The bees form a rocket and hit the tanuki with it)

Bees: Buzz buzz buzz!? (Where is he!?)

Tanuki: I don't know what you're talking about!

(The bees form an anvil and crush the balls)

Tanuki: Gah! 

Tanuki (high-pitched): I know i use my nutsack in various ways, but man, that hurt.

Bees: Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. (Where. Is. He.)

Tanuki: I-i'm serious, i don't know what you're saying!

Bees: [sigh]

(The bees form the words "Where is Winnie the Pooh?")

Tanuki: Oh, you mean that stuffed bear? He went over there [points north].

Bees: Buzz. (Thanks)

(The bees form an airplane again and head north)

French narrator: 30 minutes later...

(The bees land after reaching the entrance to Aensland Castle.)

Bees: buzz, buzz buzz. (Alright, we're here)

(The bees hear Pooh's cries for help.)

Bees: Buzz buzz buzz buzz. (We'll be right back.)

(The bees go into the realm to help Pooh)

Ttark: So, uh... while we're here waiting for them to come back, do you wanna hear some fun facts?

Everyone: Not now!

Ttark: Ok, ok.

(Int- Soul bee hive)

(Winnie the Pooh is dodging Q-Bee's attacks until he gets cornered)

Pooh: Oh bother.

(Pooh cowers in fear until Q-Bee hesitates)

Pooh: What? Why is she holding back?

Bees: Buzz buzz buzz! (Don't touch him!)

(The bess charge at Q-Bee full speed, forming a fist)

Bees: Buzz buzz buzz, buzz? (Are you ok, Pooh?)

Pooh: Yeah, i'm okay.

(Q-Bee struggles to get up, eventually doing so)

Bees: Buzz... buzz (Right... her)

Pooh: Why did she hold back?

(Suddenly, a giant monster blob of honey bursts in the hive, taking the honeycombs that contain said honey & the soul bee larvae)

Q-bee: No. This can't be happening!

(The blob sees Q-bee & charges right at her)

Pooh: No.

(Pooh runs at Q-bee & pushes her out of the hive)

Blob: [roars]

Pooh: Oh bother.

(The blob gives chase, with Pooh barely making it out of the hive)

Q-bee: [sobs] My hive. [looks at Pooh] But... why did you save me?

Pooh: Um, no reason... [hugs Q-bee] friend.

Q-bee (tearingly): Thank you.

?: Pooh boy!

(A familiar tiger charges towards Pooh, sending him tumbling over)

Tigger: What happened to you? Did you get hurt?

Rabbit: There he is!

Group: Pooh!

Piglet: [hugs Pooh] Oh, it's so happy to see that you're okay, Pooh.

Ttark: Oh, and by the way, hold on let me check. [Pulls out encyclopedia for creatures] Ah, THAT [points at Q-bee] is a soul bee. More specifically, a Q-bee.

French narrator: Meanwhile...

(A giant bird the size of the Ausmerzer (from Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus) with 3 pairs of wings (the largest pair is for flight, the middle is a mix of both, & the smallest pair is for turning/steering help, all of them have hands on their wings is seen in the sky, with people on it using it as an airship)

?: [sobbing] You know... that actually made me tear up, but anyways, we shall see how this will end up... [whispering] what rhymes with up? I'll just use it again. [Clearing throat] we shall see how this will end up, for you shall be smashed up. Into pieces.

Chapter Text

New York City, New York-Night, 

(Winnie the Pooh & Pals are outisde of an airport & are now in New York)

Rabbit: Ah, New York. The city that never sleeps.

Tigger: So Pooh boy, where do we go now?

Pooh: Hmmm...

(The bees in his beehive-style backpack (he got it offscreen a while ago, don't ask) come out & form bee wings for Pooh to fly around the city to look where to go)

Pooh: Where can we go?

(Pooh flies around for a bit more until he finds a certain sqaure-ish concert venue)

Pooh: I got it!

(Pooh flies back to the gang)

Pooh: I know where we are going! It's.... I don't know what it's called.

(Pooh flies back to the concert venue)

Pooh: Oh.

(Pooh flies back yet again to the gang)

Pooh: Carnegie hall!

Tigger: Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!

(Pooh & pals go to Carnegie hall to go see the play)

French narrator: Meanwhile...

(On the giant bird from last chapter, we see a cloaked minion)

Cloaked minion: Master, are you sure this is the right place?

(We see a fat man dressed in black ringmaster clothes with a magician's hat for a head as he puts on his gloves to conceal his body made out of magical energy, a glow from his brown eyes.)

??: Yes, this is the right place. We will set up here & everyone will know about- drumroll please.

(Snare drums can be heard)

??: Mr. V!

Int. Carnegie Hall

(Pooh & pals are sitting in the balcony row of seats)

Rabbit: You know Pooh, these are really nice seats. How did you manage to get us these sests when they're very expensive?

Pooh: Oh i have my ways, Rabbit. I have my ways.

Piglet: Oh look, the singing part's about to start!

(Cut to the stage, where we see a play of Romeo & Juliet)

Prince: Father. Please give me permission to marry Eva.

King: I forbid it! You know well what will happen if you do! Those who succumb to her beauty ALL die in horrible ways!

Prince: You don't understand! SHE is the one that has suffered after the deaths.

King: SHE IS EVIL! Guard! Grab her, and burn her at the stake!

(As the guard approaches, the prince steps in to stop the guard)

Prince: Father! If you are sentencing her to death, then I ask you to take my life along with hers.

Eva: Edward.

(Eva sings a melanchonic tune)

Rabbit: That is some really nice opera.

(As Eva sings, people sitting in the theatre spontaneously combust, except for Aya & her date(also the protagonists obviously))

(On the bird, Houdou also spontaneously combusts, but he doesn't react)

Cloaked minion: Uh, sir. You're on fire.

Voudou: What? Didn't catch what you were saying.

(As Voudou says this, a robot comes and dumps water on him)

Voudou: Holy shit, i'm burning, i'm burning!

(Voudou continously runs around until he falls down from the bird & into the building)

Int. - Carnegie Hall

Aya: Who are you people!?

Pooh: OK, now I know this is confusing very much indeed, but please let us introduce myselves.

Pooh: So this is Tigger, and Rabbit, and Piglet, and these are the other ones.

(Camera pans around to pooh's other friends)

Pooh: [faces camera] What? You thought this was gonna be another long introduction scene? Oh right, and Eeyore.

Eeyore: Thanks for noticing.

Pooh: And i'm Winnie the Pooh!

Aya:[whispering] Am I drunk or something?

Genie: Ha ha ha! No you're not, sweetie. This is all real! [Whispers] Trust me, it's a long story.

(Aya walks off bewildered by the stuffed bear and his hundreds of friends)

Pooh: OK, should we split up?

Eeyore: You're the leader.

Pooh: Alright.

(While the gang decide to temporarily split up, Pooh goes after Aya, who went in the basement or smth IDK I never played Parasite Eve)

(Aya stops infront of a Rat, as it gruesomely transforms thanks to the mitochondria)

(The Rat, now transformed, throws a ball of fire with it's tail towards Aya. Aya manages to dodge in time)

Eve: Shit!

(Aya shoots at the rat multiple times until it's dead)

(As Aya moves on from the now dead rat, a small cloaked person hiding reveals himself)

Minion: Hmm, very nice. Da boss is gonna like this, hehehe!

(Back to Aya, she catches up to Melissa, who is playing the piano)

(As Melissa plays the piano, she suddenly stops and slams the keys down, breaking it. Her hands grow big until she becomes Eve)

(Meanwhile as Aya fights off Eve, we cut to the ship Houdin and his crew are in, where they are investigsting the mutant rat one of the cloaked minions bought in)

Voudou: Hmmm....

(Voudou inspects the mutant for a bit)

Voudou: I got an idea! Hey Brian, get out the rappo-evo-ray!

(Brian is the robot with a brain. It's a long story)

Brian: In a minute!

French Narrator: 5 minutes later...

(Brian finally arrives with the humungous ray)

Voudou: Ach, finally. What took ya so long?

Brian: The things humungous, OK!

Voudou: Now where were we? Oh right.

(Voudou spins around in a tornado, transforming into his lab coat and glasses)

Voudou: Alright, gentlemen. [grabs the lever] You may want to stay back.

(Voudou pulls the lever, but only a few sparks come out)

Voudou: The Fuck? Why doesn't this work? [suddenly realizes] Ohhhhhhhhhh.[presses the button that says "Are you sure?"]

(The ray zaps the rat, transforming it into a skaven - like being)

Rat: nnngh what happened to me? I feel weird-funny.

Voudou: Alright. [Clasps his hands together]It has worked.

Brian: So, uh. What happens now?

Voudou: [gives sinister look] I have no idea!

Voudou: No, wait.

(Voudou gets into his thinking stance(it's literally just The Thinker sculpture))

Voudou(quietly): Wait a minute, it's christmas!

(A lightbulb appears above Voudou & it lights up)

Voudou: Gentlemen, we are going to steal Christmas!

Chapter Text

(You're a mean one Mr. Grinch - How the Grinch stole Christmas OST)

(Voudou is seen changing into his Santa clothes)

Voudou: Heh, perfect!

Voudou: 🎵 You're a mean one, Mr. V🎵 (face transforms into a pig & snorts wildly)

Voudou: 🎵 You reeeeeallly, arrrrrrre, a heeeeeel🎵

Voudou: 🎵 You're as cuddly as a cactus, and as charrrrrming as an eeeeeel, Mr. Veeeeeeeeeee 🎵

French Narrator: Meanwhile-

Voudou: Wha-

(Int NYCPD, NYC)

(Aya is in her office along with some stuffed animals & other things)

Aya: So let me get this straight. You guys come from these random universes to form this "adventure" group and now you travel across the universe doing jackshit?

Pooh: Uuuuh, when you put it that way, pretty much.

Aya: Then can you please tell me why the hell is every single character in existence here!?

Pooh: It's complicated. If I told you we'd be here all week. But anyways what was that thing?

Aya: [sigh] Beats me.

Pooh: So, uh... there's a fair that just opened, we can go there to help get your mind off of what happened.

Aya: Are you fucking serious? I just had some type of alien fight me and you want to me go to some stupid fair with you?

(Ext. That one fair near Coney Island)

(The air fills with the smell of popcorn and sweat as pooh and pals take Aya there to take her mind off of what happened)

Eeyore: We couldn't get any tickets to Coney Island. This was the best we could do.

(Pooh and pals then head of to the fair to help Aya relax)

Pooh: I remember last time I went to the fair with Christopher Robin. It was really nice.

(The scene is vibrant at the fair. The smell of popcorn is everywhere,