Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Taehyung grimaces and closes his eyes with every blow that lands.  His skin crawls when he hears the bone break.  The smell of copper fills the room, and it makes him cringe.  He opens one eye and chances a glance at the ring just in time to see him take a hard right hook to the chin knocking him back and onto the ground. Taehyung instantly steps forward, only to have a wrist grab onto him tightly and pull him back. 

“Don’t,” his best friend warns, “you know how he gets when he’s lost a fight.”

“But Yoongi he’s hurt and—”

“And the last person he’s going to want to patch him up or touch him is you. What are you a masochist or something Tae? Do you like being yelled at?  Give it a rest.  Believe me I’m not in the mood to fight that asshole tonight either, so just steer clear of him. The only reason I even came tonight was to keep you company.”

Taehyung yanks his wrist away, “I don’t need a babysitter, Yoongi. I’m fine. I’m working.”

“Working…you could be working somewhere better. During the day.  In a respectable practice.  Not here, in disgusting boxing rings following around the biggest asshole to have ever been born,” Yoongi says clenching his jaw. He watches as the Alpha is hoisted and carried out of the ring into the back area. “I swear to God Taehyung, if that asshole starts in on you tonight—”

“Then I’ll handle it.  Like I always do,” huffs Taehyung as he makes his way to the back area, Yoongi fast on his heels. Taehyung is grateful for his best friend wanting to be here, but not like this.  Not when it feels like he’s only here to babysit him because his uncle told him to.

“I know you can handle it.  It’s myself I can’t handle.  The way he fucking talks to you.  He has no respect for anyone.”

Taehyung enters the large room to see the corner man and trainer Kim Namjoon standing over the Alpha who is spitting blood onto the floor. Barely conscious.  “Is he ok?” Taehyung asks looking at Namjoon.  The last thing he wants is for that Alpha to see or hear worry in his voice, but he’s worse for wear and Taehyung is legitimately worried about him.  He’s also pretty sure they broke his nose tonight with the large crack he heard and the blood streaming down his nostrils. 

“Do I look ok Princess?” Jungkook responds, turning to spit blood at Taehyung’s shoes. Taehyung grimaces and backs up. “What the fuck are you even doing here? We have a real doctor to check me out. Get the fuck out of here,” he mumbles as he makes a shaky attempt to walk.

“Sit down Jungkook.  Taehyung is here because he’s part of the team, you know that. And because I feel better if he looks you over as well. Make sure nothing else other than that nose of yours is broken.”

“Fuck that! I don’t want that useless omega anywhere near me.  Get him the fuck out!” Jungkook growls as he locks eyes with Taehyung who whimpers from the aggression.  Yoongi protectively stands in front of Taehyung, hands turned into fists.

Jungkook snorts, “Is that supposed to intimidate me.  Take you and your annoying omega out of my fucking sight Yoongi, before I break your face,” Jungkook angrily spews, eyes turning red.  

Yoongi steps forward, teeth gritted, letting out a loud growl. Taehyung wraps his arm around him, pulling him back. “Yoongs, he’s really not worth it.  What is there left on his face to break anyway.  That other alpha beat the shit out of him.  I think the point is for you to win at least one fight Jungkook. But I guess that might be hard to understand what with all the blows your already pea sized brain has received.  Is there even anything left in there? How are you even forming coherent sentences—”

Jungkook sneers at both Yoongi and Taehyung, “Fuck you, Kim!  And the high horse you rode on.  I don’t need you here.  GET THE FUCK OUT!”

Taehyung snorts and smiles. “Sure thing, your lord highness.  Come on Yoongs.  Joon,” Taehyung motions to Namjoon who follows him to the exit. “Have the doctor take a look at his nose.  It’s broken.  His shoulder and mobility in his left hook were lacking tonight.  I can’t help him fix that if he won’t take our sessions seriously.  It’s been six months since his surgery.  It should be improving, but—”

“He’s so busy hating you and spewing the biggest amount of shit at you that he’s sabotaging his own progress,” Yoongi interrupts looking over his shoulder at Jungkook who has his head tilted back trying to stop the blood streaming down his nose.

Taehyung sighs.  Jeon Jungkook. The bane of his existence.  The thorn in his side for the last 6 months. 

Ever since the alpha hurt his shoulder and needed surgery.  Ever since he was assigned physical therapy with Taehyung.  Ever since Namjoon begged Taehyung to join their training team to help him fully heal.  Six long months later and everything is still the same. That’s not exactly true.  The hatred the omega has for the alpha increasing exponentially and vice versa. 

In Taehyung’s defense, the hostility started with the alpha.  Taehyung can’t even really explain why or what exactly happened.  One-minute Jungkook had greeted him pretty normally, albeit a bit coldly, then the next minute he was calling him an asshole and refusing to participate in the session.  To Taehyung it felt like a switch had turned on and he’s not even sure what he had done.  He even tried to apologize even though he’s positive he had done nothing wrong, but Jungkook was stubborn as a mule, and mean.  Incredibly mean. Taehyung had attempted to change him to another physical therapist, but no one could stomach his bad attitude. 

He's not even sure why, but Namjoon came to speak to him personally and apologize for Jungkook’s awful behavior.  And to Taehyung’s surprise he had offered him a job, an opportunity to work privately as part of Jungkook’s training team. Taehyung had of course immediately rejected the idea. Vehemently refused. But Namjoon had been persistent, and quite convincing when he offered him a ridiculous amount of money to take the position.

Taehyung thinking it was a joke or worse yet, a scam, called Yoongi to tell him about the offer.  Yoongi had gasped and explained to Taehyung that it was no joke, or a scam.  Kim Namjoon came from one of the richest families in Seoul. 

His grandfather moved and immigrated here years ago.  Namjoon being the only child until they adopted a small boy, Jungkook.  “That Jeon kid, he grew up in foster care. The Kim family adopted him.  They’re loaded.  So if Namjoon is really offering you that amount of money to privately help Jeon, it’s because it’s legit.  He’s supposed to be some great boxing prospect or something.  I heard he’s a real asshole.”

Taehyung knew beggars can’t be choosers, and considering the state he was in 3 years prior and the debt his uncle and him had acquired due to that, he jumped on the offer not knowing things with Jeon Jungkook would only deteriorate even further.

“I’ll talk to him again Taehyung.  I will. I’ll try,” Namjoon says.

“What’s the use Joon. You’ve tried, Hobi has tried, Jimin. He hates me.  Why I’m not sure.  I really wish he would just tell me what I did for him to hate me so much,” Taehyung shrugs, “but at this point it’s a moot point.  Look, you’ve been really nice to me and believe me the money is great and I would be lying if I said I didn’t need it, but I think it’s time maybe we started talking about finding him someone else.  Someone he can at least tolerate.  He’s exceptional at what he does Joon…when he’s healthy and at full capacity.  But we all know he won’t get there with me.”

Namjoon shakes his head and reaches out holding Taehyung in place, “Please, just—just give me some time to talk to him again. I’m sure—”

“Sure nothing. Taehyung has put up with enough.  Considering everything, he needs to stay stress free, focused on his own self-care—”

Namjoon frowns, “Considering what?”

Taehyung bites the inside of his cheek and waves Yoongi off. “Nothing Joon.  Considering nothing.  I—I just think it’s time we moved on and went our separate ways.  That way Jeon Jungkook and I can stop making each other miserable.”

“JOON! Stop fucking around with those two fucking morons and get me home already!” Jungkook spits out glaring at Yoongi then at Taehyung. Namjoon lets out a frustrated sigh and turns to look at Taehyung, pleadingly.

“Your royal highness beckons thee Joon.  Get him checked out tonight, ok?” Taehyung says as he exits with Yoongi.

Namjoon turns and angrily makes his way towards Jungkook. “Finally—”

“He’s quitting.  He’s going to fucking quit! All because of you! What the fuck Jungkook?! I don’t get you! Don’t you see you need him—”

Jungkook’s eyes turn red again, “I don’t need him! I don’t need anyone! He wants to leave, let him fucking leave! I don’t fucking care!”

Namjoon shakes his head, “We both know that’s not true. No matter how much you want to deny it, we both know that is not fucking true! You saw what happened the last time.  You want that to happen again?! Get your head out of your ass Jungkook! He’s going to quit!”

“Good! Good fucking riddance! Get him as far away from me as possible! Fuck him and that asshole alpha he’s always with,” Jungkook screams as he walks towards the exit.

“Jungkook! Where the fuck do you think you’re going?! The doctor has to check you out!”

“Fuck you and fuck Kim Taehyung!” Jungkook angrily yells as he steps out into the crisp Boston air slamming the door behind him.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung puts the key in the front door as he continues to listen to Yoongi curse to the high heavens about Jungkook.  He loves his best friend. Adores him.  But he really can’t handle this amount of stress and this Yoongi.  Especially when he becomes this worked up over Jungkook. Which is basically every single time he’s ever around that infuriating alpha. 

“Yoongs, please, give it a rest already.  I’m tired and I really don’t want to end my night by continuing to talk about Jungkook.  Or think about him.  Or know he even exists in this fucking universe.”

“Then fucking quit already! Fucking quit and you don’t ever have to see or hear from that piece of shit again,” Yoongi angrily grits out. 

Taehyung sighs.  He stands in front of his door and places his forehead against it.  He gets it.  He understands the unwavering protectiveness Yoongi feels towards him.  How could he not? They’ve known each other since they were 4. They’ve practically been in the same class since preschool.  Attached at the hip through high school, even going to the same college. Everyone constantly thinks they’re more of a couple than best friends.  Taehyung grimaces at the thought.  Yoongi is the brother he never had and with that comes the over protectiveness.  Maybe it’s Yoongi’s nature, being an alpha, thinking he has to constantly be in vigilance mode when it comes to Taehyung with him being an omega. Or maybe it has everything to do with everything that’s happened. Maybe he can’t help being this protective.

“Yoongi, stop.  I told you I don’t want to talk about him anymore,” Taehyung tiredly says as he pushes his front door open.

“Don’t want to talk about who?”

“Who do you think? That bitch Jungkook. I hope his nose never heals and falls off,” Yoongi replies with a huge smile on his face as he side steps Taehyung, entering the apartment first. Taehyung can’t help laughing at Yoongi’s comment, following close behind.

“Yoongi, come on man. I know you weren’t raised in a barn and at this point I know you do this shit on purpose. Take your fucking shoes off before you step foot in our apartment.  Keep it clean and sterile.”

Taehyung frowns, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. “Jin, you don’t need to—seriously? That’s not even a thing anymore. Jesus, the both of you tonight are seriously setting me off.  Can’t we try to act normal even a little bit? Why does everyone constantly have to remind me of shit I don’t want to think about.”

Jin looks at Yoongi and raises an eyebrow. “Wow tonight with Jungkook must’ve been bad if he’s in this bad of a mood.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Isn’t it always bad with that asshole?”

“I’m in a mood because Yoongi can’t seem to give it a rest about Jungkook and keeps hassling me about quitting.  And you—” he points a finger in Jin’s face, “stop saying stupid shit like clean and sterile! God, I hate it here! I swear! I’m moving to fucking Australia to get away from all of you!”

“Tae, do I need to remind you there are spiders the size of your head there.  You wouldn’t last a day. Besides you love us too much to ever leave our sides,” Jin responds grabbing Taehyung’s face and placing a slobbery kiss on his cheek.

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Why are you even awake Jin? Please don’t tell me you waited up for me.”

“And what if I did? You’re my nephew and I worry.  Did you eat today, Taehyung?”

“He did. Because I forced him to,” Yoongi says as he sits on the couch.

“What’s the difference anyway. Everything tastes like fucking cardboard,” Taehyung replies sticking his tongue out in disgust.

“Still? It hasn’t improved? What about your sense of—”

“The same Jin.  All the fucking same.  The same it’s been for nearly a year now. Amazingly enough the only thing I can stomach is the one thing that goes straight to my fucking hips. Vanilla fucking ice cream and my hips most definitely don’t need anything else.”

Jin looks at Yoongi giving him a worried look. “Did you take your vitamins today? Maybe we should talk about a med change? Call the doc—”

“It’s fine.  We don’t need to do anything.  I’m fine.  I’ve dealt with it for this long, at this point it doesn’t even matter to me anymore.  It’s better than the alternative. I guess,” Taehyung mumbles. 

“Tae—”

“I’m going to bed.  I’m tired and annoyed and I really don’t want to take it out on you or you,” he says looking at Yoongi, “I’ll see you both in the morning.  Love you.” Taehyung turns on his heels disappearing down the hallway into his room.

Jin turns to Yoongi and stares.

“He’s fine.  I’m keeping an eye on him.  Making sure he’s taking care of himself.  I am Jin…but this job.  It’s—I really don’t think it’s good for him.  He needs to quit this thing.  He needs to get the fuck away from Jungkook.  That guy Jin—you don’t know what he’s really like with Taehyung.  The shit he says to him.  How he treats him.  And Tae can fight a good fight, give it back to him just as good…but it takes a toll on him.  I can see it.  It exhausts him.  I don’t know, it worries me about what this is doing to him.”

Jin runs a hand through his hair.  Why does his nephew have to be so damn stubborn? He understands why Taehyung feels like he needs to stick with this job, but the debt is something they can figure out without Taehyung being tortured on a daily basis by someone who can’t seem to value Taehyung’s work.  Jin wonders if Taehyung isn’t keeping this job for other reasons.  Reasons Jin really doesn’t want to think about right now.

“Maybe we let up on the quitting stuff a bit.  Back off from that.  You know how he gets when he feels cornered.  What I’m more worried about is the side effects.  I’m going to make him an appoint—”

Yoongi shakes his head, “Don’t.  You just said it yourself.  He’ll feel cornered.  It’s his trigger Jin.  Let me try to talk to him.  I’ll even call and make him the appointment myself, but after we talk.  He’s fine Jin.  I think both you and I need to take a step back now too.  Give him some room to breathe with all that.  I think it’s an adjustment for us too.”

Jin sighs and walks to the mantle that houses several family portraits.  He picks up a frame and runs a finger along the picture.  “I guess you’re right Yoongi,” Jin looks at the picture gripping it tightly, “I’m trying Sis. I really am just trying to keep him safe like you made me promise I would.”

“And you are. But this is out of our control.  It always was.  And like he said.  He’s fine now.  We have to learn to move on and live our lives,” Yoongi says putting a hand on Jin’s shoulder.

“I’m older than you, how are you more emotionally mature than me?” Jin asks, raising his eyebrows at Yoongi.

Yoongi shrugs, “Because I am just that awesome.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung sits on his bed and stares at the bookcase that takes up the whole side of his room. 

He gets up walking to his dresser and lights a scented candle that sits upon it.  He bends down and takes a quick sniff and frowns.  He turns it to the side, “Pineapple my ass,” he huffs and blows it out immediately.  He’s feeling antsy. A little out of body.  But then again, it’s his normal ‘I just spent time with Jungkook and now I feel like shit’ reaction.  He just wishes he knew what he did.  He swears he would go back in time and fix it.  Jump into a DeLorean or the Tardis and go back to that exact moment when Jungkook decided that Taehyung was the worst omega imaginable and fix whatever went wrong.    

Then again, he wonders if it would even matter much.  Jungkook just seems like a miserable person to begin with.  He’s not even very pleasant with the people he can seem to stomach, Namjoon, Hobi, Jimin.  Even with them he’s a colossal piece of shit.  And yet…there’s something Taehyung can’t seem to put his finger on.  Something that draws him to Jungkook. 

“Maybe I am a fucking masochist?”

Taehyung stares back at the bookcase, moving swiftly, straight to the middle shelf.  He carefully and cautiously pulls the book out.  It’s tattered and frayed.  The cover torn at the corners, color faded, the coffee ring from his mother’s favorite mug adorning the top like a badge of honor. He turns and bends down turning a switch on.  Twinkly lights turn on all around his room luminating it and giving it a soft warm glow.  He goes to sit in his reading corner, settling into his chair. 

Before opening the book, he hesitates and holds it closely to his nose, smelling it.  He bites his lip, frustrated.  He wonders if it still smells like her. 

He opens it to the middle, no particular page or chapter.  He’s read this countless times before both with his mother and on his own.  He can recite it without even having the book in his hands, so it doesn’t really matter where he picks up in the story.  For Taehyung it’s more about what this book represents for him.  How it makes him feel to hold it between his fingers knowing that she used to hold it the same way. It’s more about comfort.  It’s his comfort story and he needs it more than ever tonight.

He turns when he hears a small knock on his door.  He exhales, lamenting that time alone without feeling suffocated is so foreign to him and has been for a while now. But he understands why.  He doesn’t hold it against Yoongi, and he especially doesn’t blame his Uncle Jin for behaving the way he does with him.  He just wishes the circumstances were different.  Things happen that add a wrinkle in time.  That change things in ways that can’t be undone.  In ways that even time travel can’t fix. He closes his book and stares at the candle.  He really should just throw it away.  It makes him irrationally angry having it in here.

“Come in,” Taehyung says, swinging slightly in his chair.

“Hey,” Yoongi apprehensively sticks his head in.  “Shit, you’re in your chair and holding THE book. Fucking Jungkook,” Yoongi says clenching his jaw as he enters Taehyung’s room and throws himself on his bed.

“It has nothing to do with Jungkook. I’m just sort of feeling nostalgic, that’s all,” Taehyung gets up and returns the book carefully to its place on the bookcase.

“Bullshit.  Taehyung, you need to really explain to me why you put up with so much of that fucking alpha’s shit.  Because I know you better than anyone, even Jin, and I know if it was anyone else you would’ve told him to fuck off, walked out of his life, and never looked back. What the fuck is this Tae? Seriously.”

“What do you mean? You act like I let him walk all over me,” Taehyung responds tersely.  He really doesn’t like the implication that he’s some weak omega, a door mat.

“No, I didn’t say that.  I know you stand up for yourself, but…you told Joon tonight you were ready to step away.  I don’t think that’s true.  I don’t think you have any intention of quitting which to be honest Tae, it’s really fucking concerning. Because you should want to quit.  You should want to get as far away from him as possible. He’s a fucking shit alpha.  Has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.  So why? Why are you still trying to help him? You don’t owe him shit Tae.”

Taehyung stops and thinks about what Yoongi just said.  Really thinks about it because everything Yoongi just said is 100% true.  He should just quit.  He doesn’t owe Jungkook a thing, yet he finds himself not wanting to leave it behind.  Leave him behind.

“Can I be honest with you?” Taehyung asks as he stares back at his bookcase, eyes focusing in on the middle shelf.

“Always. You know that.”

“What if it happens again? What if I need an out quickly again or…I—I just,” Taehyung gulps. “I need a job that won’t miss me, Yoongi.  I need a job where if I needed to, I could drop it without worrying that they’ll miss me or that my absence will have some great impact.” Taehyung rubs his hands together. “This is that job Yoongi,” he softly whispers. “Jungkook could care less about me, in fact he hates me.  It’s better that way.  It won’t impact him.  I won’t be missed.”

Yoongi’s mouth goes dry.  He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth but can’t seem to find the words. He looks at his best friend who looks so tiny against the massive bookcase.  It almost looks like the books are swallowing him whole. 

“You—fuck. What the fuck Taehyung? I don’t want you talking like that anymore.  You don’t need a job like that.  Understood.  It’s fine now.  YOU are fine now. That’s fucking ridiculous,” Yoongi scoffs, “the fact that you’re thinking like that. No. No fucking way.  In fact, look. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I have never minced words with you even at our worst and I’m not about to start now. I think you need to quit. Now. And go back to medical school. Fuck this whole physical therapy bullshit.”

Taehyung’s shoulders slump.  He lies down next to Yoongi shaking his head. “You know I can’t do that.  I won’t do that.”

“Why not Tae? You could do it.  I believe you could.  You don’t need an “out” kind of job.  And I don’t care what you say. They would miss you. Joon, Hobi, Jimin.  They would all miss you.”

“Not Jungkook,” Taehyung says bitterly.

“And so what? Why does it matter to you if he didn’t?”

Taehyung feels something tug at his chest.  He unconsciously reaches up and puts his palm on his heart. “It shouldn’t, right? But fuck, I don’t know.  It does.  It bothers me.  A lot actually. And it’s not the people pleaser in me.  That’s not it.  I can’t even describe it.  He treats me like shit.  I fucking hate him and yet…there’s something that pulls me to him.  Like a fucking tether.  And it drives me crazy.  HE drives me crazy.  He’s mean and horrible to me.  So why do I want nothing more than to be around him sometimes?”

Yoongi’s mouth drops. “Please tell me you’re joking.  Are you fucking telling me you—do you have feelings for Jungkook?! Are you fucking falling for him?! I swear I’m going to hurt you Taehyung,” Yoongi reaches out and shoves Taehyung.

Taehyung looks back at Yoongi utterly offended. “I AM NOT FALLING FOR JUNGKOOK! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!” Taehyung shoves Yoongi back. “I didn’t say I was falling for him, I said there was something pulling me to him, but I did not say love. Fuck, I didn’t even say like.  I distinctly remember saying I hate the fucker.  You know what, forget I said anything.  You’re annoying!” Taehyung kicks Yoongi, trying to push him off his bed. “Get out of my room Yoongi! Go sleep in your own room tonight! I don’t want you staying here! The fucking audacity to suggest I’m falling for Jungkook.  GET THE FUCK OUT!” Taehyung sits up and angrily pushes Yoongi off the bed.

“Alright, alright chill! I’m sorry! I take it back.  You aren’t falling for Jungkook.  You’re right. It’s fucking stupid of me to even suggest it.  No one is falling for that guy.  He’s going to end up alone for the rest of his life with the fucking attitude on him.” Yoongi holds his hands up, putting his knee back on Taehyung’s bed.  Taehyung rolls his eyes reaching for the alpha’s wrist pulling him back on the bed again.

“I don’t want to talk about Jungkook anymore Yoongi.  You can sleep in my room, but no more Jungkook talk.”

Yoongi purses his lips shut and nods his head. He lies down on one of Taehyung’s pillows facing him. “Tae…it’s coming up on the anniversary.  Jin was talking about going and leaving flowers for them.  It’s been a while since—you know because you were…” Yoongi trails off reaching over to hold Taehyung’s hand.

Taehyung closes his eyes and recites in his head, 📖‘He knew as well as we in our own world do that the road to hell is paved with good intentions—but he also knew that, for human beings, good intentions are sometimes all there are.’

Yoongi blinks and squeezes Taehyung’s hand.  He knows what his best friend is doing.  It’s the same thing he’s been doing since the day his mother died.  Taehyung has a habit of calming himself by reciting passages of his favorite book…of his mother’s favorite book. He watches as Taehyung slowly opens his eyes and turns on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

“You know I honestly thought it was the last time I had ever seen them.  That last time. That I wasn’t going to get another opportunity.”

“Tae—” Yoongi’s eyes water, they blur as they stare at Taehyung’s side profile. 

“Yes…I’ll go to the cemetery again.  I miss them.”

Fourteen years.  It’s been fourteen years since his mother passed away from cancer.  His father followed her not long after.  Taehyung was 12 when it happened.  Time has faded, but the memories and the pain haven’t.  Still fresh in Taehyung’s mind and heart. 

“It’s been a while since I’ve read to her Yoongi.  I’m sure she misses it.  I don’t think she went a day in her life without reading.  Imagine how sad she must be. That I haven’t been back to read to her like I used to.  Do you think she’s upset with me? Do you think she would understand why I haven’t?” Taehyung turns to look at Yoongi, tears in his eyes.

Yoongi takes a deep breath, “Yes, she understands.  Better than most people.  She’s your mom Tae.  She knows why,” Yoongi reaches over pulling Taehyung into a hug, holding him close.

“I resented him so much for leaving me alone the way he did Yoongs,” Taehyung says close to Yoongi’s chest. “But I think with everything that’s happened it’s put a lot of things into perspective for me. I don’t hate him so much for that anymore. He’s my dad and living with any type of resentment towards him is really not healthy.  And I am all about being healthy,” Taehyung sighs. “But I still think soulmates suck,” he says in a huff.

Yoongi smiles and gives Taehyung a squeeze.  “We’ll see if you still believe that after you meet yours, your mate.  What if he’s Chris Evans?”

“Oh, well, if he’s got America’s ass then I’m all about the soulmate bond,” jokes Taehyung.

Yoongi chuckles as he closes his eyes while holding Taehyung closely. Taehyung closes his eyes as well.  Soulmates. Mates.  The idea that they live in a world where that concept isn’t just stories in fairy tales.  That everyone has a soulmate, a mate only for them, seems like the most ridiculous idea. Yet it’s the reality. To think that right now, Taehyung has a soulmate out there that he’s fated to, that he’s meant for, it seems in a way suffocating. The concept ruined his life, ultimately taking his father’s. 

📖'I’ve seen what happens when people act on intuition, or for illogical reasons. Sometimes the results are ludicrous and embarrassing; more often they are simply horrible.’

Taehyung slowly drifts off to sleep.

Chapter Text

Jungkook stares at the door to the gym for the hundredth time today.  The ache in his chest refusing to go away.  He catches Namjoon’s gaze who gives him a small smile.  Jungkook ignores it and looks down at his hands as Hobi continues to remove the tape.  The heavy gym doors open and Jungkook’s eyes snap up in anticipation to only be left with nothing but disappointment when he sees Jimin enter. He puts his focus back down on his hands and tries to keep thoughts of a certain omega buried away.

“Babe, were you able to secure the fight?” Hobi asks as Jungkook removes his hands massaging the knuckles.

Jimin glances at Jungkook and braces himself for the inevitable wrath. He stays quiet merely giving Hobi a look hoping that’s enough and that he can slip to the back office before this Alpha can make a comment.   But Jungkook isn’t stupid, and he notices the look between the beta and omega and angrily exhales.

“Jungkook, think before you say anything to my mate.  Understood?  I’m serious.  Keep it reeled in,” Hobi warns.  He’s known Jungkook since he was adopted by Namjoon’s family.  He’s grown to love him as if he’s his own little brother.  He’s one of the most patient understanding people in Jungkook’s life…but he draws the line with his mate.  Jungkook better put on his best fake smile and his tone better stay even because when it comes to Jimin, all bets are off.

Jungkook grits his teeth and measures his words, “Jimin, I take that look you gave Hobi means you didn’t book my next fight.”

Jimin sighs and looks at Jungkook, giving him a sympathetic smile.  “I’m really sorry Jungkook, but no.  I didn’t.  They—“ Jimin looks at Hobi and hesitates.

“What? Baby, what did they say?” Hobi asks just as Namjoon comes out of the office. 

“They don’t believe you’re a real contender Jungkook.  They don’t think you’re fighting to your full potential.  The surgery and the injuries have them spooked.  They think—“

Jungkook stares back at Jimin, eyes fiery red.  Namjoon glances at Jungkook and he can almost feel the heat radiating off the alpha with how angry he is. 

“What? What the fuck did they say? Come on Jimin. Don’t fucking hide shit now,” Jungkook replies getting up to stand in front of Jimin.  Hobi stops him, placing a hand on his chest and motions to the stool.

“Sit down Jungkook.  Don’t approach him,” Hobi growls out.

Jungkook angrily swats at Hobi’s hand and keeps his feet angrily planted to the ground, not sitting back down.

“They said you aren’t a real challenge.  That because you aren’t fully healthy there’s no point in fighting you.  You’re too easy to beat,” Jimin says shrugging.  He doesn’t even care about the wrath that’s about to unleash in this gym.  He knows how to handle Jungkook. “Don’t look at me like that Jungkook.  I’m not Tae where you can intimidate me and say whatever the fuck you want.  Make sure you know what you’re about to say to me. I may be an omega, but I’m not going to let you pull your bullshit on me.  I’m your manager Jungkook.  Respect me as such,” Jimin says glaring at Jungkook who looks like he wants to murder everyone in this gym and then everyone else in the world.

“Frankly they’re right,” Namjoon replies.  “You aren’t anywhere near where you should be.  You’re impulsive and rash in that ring.  You don’t listen to anyone.  Not especially the one person you’re supposed to the most right now.  The person who is trying to get your body back to full capacity.”

Jungkook groans, eyes turning brown again. “Fuck that. I don’t need him to get better.”

“Right. Of course, you don’t. Because you’re doing so well without him.  Without letting him treat you properly.  You have to stop being so stubborn.  So prideful Jungkook.  You were once the talk of the town.  A contender for a real title shot and now,” Namjoon shakes his head, disappointed, “now you’ve become the fighter no one wants to actually fight.  Your attitude is atrocious, you can barely keep up 2 rounds let alone 12–“

Jungkook blinks, eyes opening to red contemptuous eyes. “Fuck you! All of you! Go ahead then! Keep telling me how fucking shit I am.  What a horrible person I am! What a shit fighter I am!”

Namjoon rolls his eyes.  He loves his little brother, but it’s getting to a point where he doesn’t know if he can keep doing this.  Jungkook is exhausting.  His abrasive nature has always been there.  How could it not be with the way he grew up, but it’s getting progressively worse especially after Taehyung.  After what happened with Taehyung.

“Jungkook, that’s not what any of us are saying.  We want you to be successful.  We know what you’re capable of doing as a fighter but look at you.  Can you honestly say your body is at 100%? Can you say that you don’t feel pain every time you enter that ring? Because I know you’d be lying.  I can see you contort in pain.  It’s ok to admit it.  That you need the help and that’s why Taehyung is here. To help you.  You have to let him help you!”

The heavy doors to the gym slam shut, Taehyung stands frozen as all eyes fall on him.

Jungkook glares at him, but at the same time he instantly relaxes.  He doesn’t show it, but the tension he was feeling in his chest disappears and although he would never admit it to anyone, most especially Taehyung, he feels happy he’s finally here.

He closes his eyes and inhales.  The smell of freshly baked apple pie invading his senses.  He starts to take calculated even breaths as he opens his eyes to stare at Taehyung who is staring back at him.  No discernible expression on his face.  It boils Jungkook’s blood.

“Where the fuck have you been?! Is this what you think the job is? Getting paid to do fuck all? Come in whenever you want? I’m losing fights because of your stupid ass. Because you can’t do your fucking job and get my shoulder better and yet you just act like you don’t care. Coming in late like it doesn’t fucking matter.”

Jungkook is angry, rage boiling over and he knows he shouldn’t, but it feels good.  Especially when he can suddenly smell burnt apple pie. It feels so damn good to take it out on the person who seems to have no real emotion or care about any of this.  Taehyung seems to think it’s ok to just ignore it.  Like any of this isn’t happening.  It just makes Jungkook angrier. 

“There’s nothing I hate more than fucking omegas like you who think they can do whatever they want if they bat their eyelashes.  You aren’t getting paid to look pretty and do nothing Princess,” Jungkook spits out, eyes red and menacing.

Taehyung snorts, “Wow. Jungkook, you think I’m pretty?” Taehyung says smirking. “Under normal circumstances I would be flattered but coming from you it’s fucking disgusting and creepy.  It’s sort of like when the guy in the white van offers you candy and tells you to come look at his puppy.  It’s unsettling and fucking cringy.  And stop calling me Princess.  I have a name.  Be fucking respectful.”

The air is tense as everyone looks to Jungkook waiting for the blowup…

“Be respectful?! The pot calling the kettle black.  You fucking hypocrite.  You insult me then you want respect! The fucking balls on you!”

“Respect is a two-way street Jungkook.  I’m not going to stand here and let you insult me.  Besides, I’m not hired by you.  Namjoon hired me.  And he gave me permission to come in late today.  Maybe if you stopped being such a prick all the time and communicated with your team properly you would’ve known that!” Taehyung huffs, eyes an icy blue.  He’s usually more controlled, more in tune with his omega, not letting it get riled up like this.  But this alpha. This asshole knows exactly how to push his buttons.

“That’s enough! From the both of you!” Namjoon yells.  He’s so fucking tired of all of this.  “Jungkook shut the fuck up already. Taehyung had already informed me he would be late.  Late being something he never does.  He’s here all the time, on time ready to go.  You’re the one who always has the issues Jungkook.  Remember what we just talked about.  Shut your mouth for once in your life and participate in today’s session properly.  You want Jimin to be able to book you fights.  Fine.  Get your shit together then!” Namjoon walks towards the office. “Jimin, Hobi, Let’s go.  Leave them to it.”

Hobi walks to Jimin guiding him with his arm around his waist.  “He’s right Jungkook.  Get your ass in gear,” Hobi says as he disappears in the back office with Jimin.

Taehyung and Jungkook stand staring at each other.  A standoff.  Taehyung sighs.  He really doesn’t have the energy for this.  Not after being told his medication couldn’t be changed right now.  He really just wants to go home and read, play some video games, and sleep. Pretend the whole world doesn’t exist.  He wonders what it would be like if he lived a normal life.  What that would look like.  He blinks, eyes reverting back to their natural state.  He’s better than this.  Stooping so low to Jungkook’s level, it isn’t him.

“Jungkook, ready to get started,” he asks, as professionally as he can.

Jungkook stares at him and shakes his head.  Really? Nothing? That’s it? Jungkook wants to scream in Taehyung’s face.  Yell. But Namjoon is right.  If he ever intends on making it into the boxing world, he needs to be healthy.  And he knows Taehyung could get him there.

“Fine. The sooner we start the sooner you can get the fuck out of my face for the day. So come on.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung and Jungkook work silently.  Only speaking when they need to.  Angry glares replacing words.  To an outsider this would be seen as a disastrous session, to Taehyung, it’s one of the most successful he’s had to date with Jungkook. 

He’s icing Jungkook’s shoulder placing a wrap to keep the ice in place.  He notices Jungkook extend his left knuckle in and out, grimacing in pain.

“It still hurts?”

“It’s fine,” Jungkook replies coldly, waving Taehyung off.

Taehyung sighs and reaches for Jungkook’s hand.  “It’s not fine.  You’re in pain.  Have you been doing any of the exercises I left for you? You know if you just let me do my job, show them to you properly.  Do them with you,” Taehyung says as he leans closely to take a better look at Jungkook’s knuckles, “you wouldn’t be in this much pain.”

Taehyung takes Jungkook’s hand in his and starts to softly massage his hand starting from the wrist working his way up to the knuckles.  Jungkook watches him holding in a breath.  He’s never been this close to Taehyung’s face before.  The smell of cinnamon and apples making him feel dizzy.  He doesn’t know he’s doing it, but he starts to memorize his features.  He notices his eyes are different. He starts to count the moles on his face. Did he always have such long eyelashes?

“You’re staring.  It’s not polite to stare,” Taehyung replies, frowning. 

Jungkook blinks and looks away, staying silent as he watches Taehyung continue to massage his hand. 

“Fuck,” Taehyung gently sets Jungkook’s hand down and pulls out his phone. “Um, sorry. Do you mind if I take this for a second?” Taehyung doesn’t allow Jungkook to answer, immediately moving to the side, answering the call.

“Hello?…I’m working,” Taehyung replies glancing at Jungkook quickly and dropping his gaze just as fast.  “I don’t know Yoongi, he just said he doesn’t want to rock the boat if it’s working.”

Jungkook’s eyes shoot to Taehyung, red slowly over taking his brown ones.  That alpha again.  Does Taehyung do this on purpose? Constantly parading that alpha in front of him like this? He impatiently taps his foot on the floor as loudly as he can drawing Taehyung’s attention.

“Yoongs, I have to go.  I’ll talk to you later at home.”

Jungkook scoffs and shakes his head. “Really fucking professional Princess.  Stopping in the middle of a session to answer a call from your boyfriend.”

Taehyung closes his eyes and sighs deeply. “Not that it’s any of your business, but he’s not my boyfriend.”

“Oh, so you two just live together and what? You spread your legs for him on occasion is that it?”

The punch is loud, painful and effective.  Jungkook instantly grabs his nose, blood gushing out again after only just having it popped back into place by the doctor this morning.  “FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK YOU STUPID USELESS—“

“Call me a useless omega again Jungkook! I dare you!” Taehyung screams in his face as he rubs his fist. 

“What the fuck is going on?!” Namjoon asks running out of the office with Hobi and Jimin in tow. “You two were fine!”

“Who I “spread my legs” for isn’t any of your fucking business Jungkook! Keep your disgusting comments to yourself! Namjoon,” Taehyung’s eyes turn icy cold again, “Reign him in! I’m at my breaking point with him! Reign him in or I’m quitting. For real this time!”

Jungkook tries desperately to get his bleeding under control again, but it’s the overwhelming smell of burnt pie that is making him cough, suffocating him.  His chest hurts, he grips it with one hand as the other holds his nose.  Taehyung.  He wishes he had never met Taehyung. He watches as Taehyung angrily grabs his bag, flinging it on his shoulder stomping his way out of the gym, heavy doors slamming loudly and harshly, the noise resonating through their ears.

“What did you do again?! What did you say to him?”

“Nothing that isn’t true! Are you all just going to stand there or help me?!” Jungkook nasally speaks, blood still gushing out. 

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung has been aimlessly wandering the rest of the day.  It felt so good to hit Jungkook the way he did, releasing all that anger, but now he’s feeling horrible.  He’s pretty sure he broke his nose again, the guilt eating him up inside.  He’s had this aching pain in his heart the whole rest of the afternoon.  Guilt is a fickle thing. Or at least that’s what Taehyung assumes it is.  He’s going to have to apologize for doing what he did.  No matter what Jungkook said to him resorting to physical violence is never the answer.  It’s never ok.  He hates himself for letting Jungkook put him in a state where he felt that was his only release. 

He looks down at his fist.  It’s bruised and it hurts something fierce.  But he’s certain it’s not broken.  The only problem is explaining this to his wardens at home.  Because that’s what it feels like sometimes with Jin and Yoongi.  A prison.  An overprotective, suffocating prison.

He passes by a bakery and looks in.  His stomach growls.  He spots a strawberry tart that looks absolutely divine.  He shrugs and enters, ordering one.  He sits at a table by the window and stares down at his pastry.  He purses his lips as he gets closer and smells it.  Of course.  Why does he even try?  He decides to take a bite anyway. 

It’s just like everything else.  Uneventful.  Muted.  Colorless.  He gets up and throws it in the trash on the way out of the bakery.

His eyes catch on the ice cream place across the street.  “No way Tae.  You just had some yesterday.” He glances at his ass and groans.  He does not need any more ice cream.  His knuckles throb and he looks down seeing that it’s turning even more black and blue than it was minutes ago.  “Fuck it. I deserve a fucking ice cream after what happened today.”

He enters the familiar ice cream shop.  He’s become a regular here since he started working with Jungkook which is strange because he was never really all that into ice cream before. His chest feels that familiar ache again, he feels dizzy as he reaches up to rub at his heart.  He shakes it off and approaches the counter.

“Hey Tae, the usual?” the cheerful girl at the front counter greets.  How embarrassing to be on a first name basis with the girl at the ice cream shop.  He really needs to tone down the number of times he’s in here.

“Yeah, Carrie. Thanks.” He pays and waits to the side.

“Here you go! See you tomorrow!” Carrie happily says as she moves on to the next customer.

Taehyung snorts, “Definitely not if I can help it.” He takes the ice cream and walks out, the sun hitting his face. He stares at the cup of vanilla ice cream. Taehyung takes a large spoonful and puts it in his mouth.  The feeling is immediate.  The tension in his shoulders disappears.  The ice cream hitting every taste bud making him moan.  He snaps his eyes open to look around and make sure no one actually heard that.  Of course, the one thing he can eat is fattening and full of sugar.  “Seriously, fuck my life,” he says as he takes another large spoonful of vanilla ice cream.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook looks at his reflection in the mirror.  His nose is a black and blue mess.  Fuck Taehyung.  Granted he did bait him into it.  Jungkook supposed he had it coming.  The comment he made to Taehyung being low even for his standards.  But he couldn’t help it. There’s something about that alpha Yoongi that sets him on edge.  He HATES that Taehyung is always with him.  Always around him.  And he won’t even begin to put into words how much his skin crawls knowing they live together.

He exits the bathroom and sits at his kitchen table. He wonders if life will ever be normal.  Will it ever get easier for him?  He looks at his phone and has an overwhelming desire to hear Taehyung’s voice.  To apologize. He suddenly frowns, pushing his phone across the table. “What the fuck Jungkook?! Have you lost your mind?!”

Maybe he needs to go out and blow off some steam.  Get a good fuck in.  Forget about this whole mess with Taehyung.  Taehyung.  That omega who won’t cease to invade Jungkook’s thoughts.  What does it matter if he goes out and meets someone for a night. Taehyung will just ruin that too.  Like last time where he couldn’t get past a damn kiss without that fucking omega’s face entering his mind.  His chest immediately constricting, that ache making it unbearable for him to be in the presence of anybody else in that way. “Seriously fuck you, Taehyung!”

He remembers back to his life before meeting Taehyung.  Yes, it was an absolute mess.  It always has been, for as long as he can remember his life has been a dumpster fire of chaos and toxicity. He knows everyone thinks he should be grateful, happy, ever since Namjoon’s family decided to adopt him, the exact reason, he’s still not sure.  But happiness isn’t a luxury, an emotion he’s ever really been able to indulge in.  Why would anyone want him? Especially an older kid of 12. His parents didn't even want him.  Dumping him off on his grandparents who wanted him even less. Throwing him into state custody, foster care for years, until finally settling in at a children’s group home. A kid that was always in trouble, anger spilling over at every turn.  Only becoming worse when he presented as an alpha. 

He knows how he comes off to everyone.  Mean, rude, standoffish.  But to be honest, it’s the only way he knows to be.  It’s the only way he could be…if he expected to survive in that group home.  In all those foster homes. Besides it’s easier to keep people at arm’s length.  You don’t get disappointed this way.  You don’t get left behind, abandoned. It doesn’t make sense to open yourself up to people…not when they won’t be around long enough for any of it to matter.

He sees his phone light up.

He groans making his way to the front door opening it to find a tired looking Namjoon on the other side. He makes his way into Jungkook’s apartment, frowning when he does. “Are you baking an apple pie?! You’re training, Jungkook. You know you aren’t supposed to be eating things like that,” Namjoon says entering the kitchen.  The whole apartment smells of freshly baked apple pie.

“Don’t worry I’m not going to eat it.  It’s not why I’m baking it,” Jungkook says, exasperated.

Namjoon freezes. “Wait…fuck Jungkook.  Is this where we’re at now? How often do you do this?” Namjoon asks as he watches Jungkook pull out the pie carelessly throwing it on his kitchen counter.

“Jungkook,” Namjoon sighs, “you—you really need to talk to him.  Tell him.  This—” he turns to stare at the apple pie, “it’s fucking crazy.  It shouldn’t be this complicated.  You made it so damn complicated Jungkook!”

Jungkook’s mouth drops, “Me? I made it complicated? How exactly did I do that? He was the one who ignored it.  Didn’t say a word.  I mean when have you ever heard of that happening? Huh? When? Never.  Leave it to me to be the first one in the history of this bullshit to have it happen to.  But why am I surprised.  I’m used to it anyway.  Being ignored, thrown aside.  It’s expected.  Because of course he would do that.” Jungkook grits his teeth.

“Jungkook…have you ever thought about the fact that maybe you’re putting the blame on him without even asking him and…maybe, I don’t know. What if he—what if it wasn’t the same for him.  I’ve heard of that happening. The one-sided thing,” Namjoon says, trying to soften the blow a bit.

“I’m not sure what’s worse, thinking Taehyung is fucking me over or the universe is.  Because either scenario sucks.”

“But you won’t know unless you ask him.  Talk to him—”

“I’m not fucking doing that Joon.  I told you that before.  Because no matter what the reason is, I don’t want a part of any of it anyway.  I don’t need him.  I don’t need to have someone around who will eventually piss off out of my life like everyone else has.”

“I haven’t.  Our parents haven’t,” Namjoon responds, looking Jungkook straight in the eyes. 

Jungkook drops his gaze, “Not yet,” he mumbles.

“If we haven’t at this point, can’t you see, can’t you get it through your thick skull that we won’t. That we would never do that.  That we love you! You’re my little brother Jungkook. I—”

“Did you actually need something or what Joon? Why are you here?” Jungkook responds.  He can’t do this with Namjoon right now.

“I needed to make sure you were ok.  You know, because we’re family and I care about you.  Jungkook, look, I get it. I understand why you are the way you are.  I’m not holding it against you.  But…there comes a time where you need to start believing that you aren’t that same kid who was always alone.  You have me, our parents, Hobi and Jimin.  They’re your friends Jungkook. And Hobi and Jimin are part of our team.  They want to see you succeed just as much as I do.  Jimin is your manager, but you can’t expect him to do his job if you can’t put in 100% of yourself as well.  And that means working with Taehyung to get healthy.  You need him Jungkook. In more ways than you want to admit.  He’s a good kid.  I wish you would just look past all this fucking anger and resentment and try to see that.  Work with him.  Maybe talk to him about all this other stuff.  It’s not just beneficial for you, but for everyone.  I can see it in his eyes Jungkook.  He’s miserable.”

Jungkook grips his chest. 

“See, you hate hearing that.  You hate hearing that Taehyung is miserable, hurting, sad.  And you need to know you are the direct cause of it. And you can put on that tough exterior all you want, but I know you.  I know it hurts you.  I know you don’t want to see him in pain.  But I think you have it in your head that he’s ignoring this. Doing it all on purpose to hurt you, so you want to hurt him just as bad as its hurting you.”

Jungkook scoffs, “I told you.  I could care less.”

“That’s not true.  If you didn’t care, it wouldn’t anger you so much that he hasn’t brought it up.  His indifference wouldn’t send you into a tailspin.  You care more than you let on and I think it’s because deep down you really wanted it, and he shattered it for you.”

Jungkook closes his eyes and opens them, glaring red angry, frustrated eyes back at Namjoon.  Namjoon’s heart sinks.  He actually thought he was getting through to Jungkook.  How naïve he is.

“Fuck off with all of that shit Namjoon.  What a bunch of bullshit! I’m fine.  My nose is fine.  So if you have nothing else to say, get the fuck out of my apartment with all of that nonsense.  If Taehyung wants to quit let him quit.  I don’t give a fuck.  Hobi and Jimin can follow him out if they don’t like it. And I’m going to repeat it for you again, since you seem to be hard of hearing. I do not need Taehyung.”

Namjoon gets up to leave, “Right. You keep telling yourself that.  Keep saying that every time you bake an apple pie that you have no intention of eating.  You’re kidding yourself Jungkook.  And don’t forget about the appointment with your therapist tomorrow.  Boy, do you need it. Enjoy the pie,” he says as he walks out leaving Jungkook staring angrily at the kitchen counter.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Taehyung come out for dinner!”

Taehyung bandages his hand and throws on a hoodie.  He sticks his hand in his hoodie pocket and leaves his room.  Jin looks up and smiles at Taehyung, motioning to him to come sit down. Taehyung sits making sure to not take his hand out.  He knows what seeing his hand bandaged like this will do to Jin.  He’s just glad Yoongi is at work and not here to freak out about it too. 

He looks down and picks up his spoon with his left hand.  “Soup,” he scrunches his nose.  “I hate soup Jin.  I’ve had enough soup to last me centuries.”

“It’s healthy for you.  Loaded with vegetables and natural vitamins.  Eat it,” Jin says sternly.

He takes a spoonful and swallows. “Forget it.  Doesn’t matter anyway,” he says shrugging. He continues to force spoonfuls of soup down his throat all the while avoiding taking out his right hand.

Jin stares at him, quietly looking at his hoodie. “Taehyung…what are you hiding?”

Taehyung gulps.  “What? What do you mean? Hiding? What are you even talking about?”

“Is there a reason why you’re only eating with your left hand.  You’re a righty.”

Taehyung huffs, “That is not true.  I am ambidextrous! And very good at it.  I use my left hand all the time.”

Jin nods. “Take out your hand and show me Tae.”

Taehyung sighs.  He slowly takes out his hand as Jin’s eyes bulge.  He rises from his chair reaching for Taehyung’s hand to take a closer look at it.

“What happened Taehyung?! Is it broken?”

Taehyung pulls back, placing his hand back in his hoodie. “No, it’s not.  It’s fine.”

“Fine?! It is not fine! What happened?”

Taehyung contemplates lying, but he actually doesn’t care.  The guilt from earlier has dissipated considerably.  Jungkook had it coming. “I punched Jungkook.”

Jin stares at Taehyung not knowing what to think. “You punched Jungkook?”

“He made some really disgusting comments about me. So, I punched him.  I think I broke his nose again.”

“What the fuck did he say?” Jin asks angrily. “And why were you trying to hide it if you don’t care about doing it?”

Taehyung closes his eyes.  “Because I didn’t want you freaking out over my hand.  I get a paper cut and you and Yoongi are ready to take me to the emergency room.  It’s over excessive Jin. I’m not a baby.  I—I really wish you both would stop treating me like a child. I’m 26 years old Jin.  I can take care of myself.  Even the fact that I live in this apartment with both you and Yoongi, like you’re both babysitting me.  Like I’m going to break in any second and you’re both just waiting in the wings to swoop in.”

Jin looks at Taehyung hurt, but also in understanding.  “You’re right.  I’m sorry, but you have to understand too Tae. I lost your mom and then your dad—he” Taehyung puts the spoon down pushing the soup away.  He suddenly feels nauseous.  “Then you—” Jin swallows, blinking away tears.  We thought you—you can’t fault us for wanting to make sure you are ok.  Healthy.  Taken care of.”

“I know that, Jin. I do. But at some point, you have to step back and let me be.  I need to be able to live on my own again. Stand on my own two feet again.”

Jin knows what Taehyung is saying is true.  But they have gone through so much loss.  Almost having lost Taehyung too.  He doesn’t really know how to not worry about Taehyung. 

“Look, I can’t promise I’ll just stop worrying, but I can promise that I’ll work harder to try.  But YOU have to promise me that at the first sign of something you will let us know.  And that you continue with your meds.  I know the side effects are wreaking havoc with your sanity, but if the doctor says they’re helping please stay with them.”

“I will.  I mean who needs to taste food anyway,” Taehyung sarcastically says. 

“Now onto Jungkook.  What are we going to do about that asshole?”

Taehyung suddenly feels nauseous again.  “Nothing. WE aren’t going to do anything.  I’m going to keep doing what I’ve done all this time.  Ignore it, stand up to him, try to do my job.”

“Or you could just quit.  We’d be ok Tae.  We could work through it.”

“But it’s my debt Jin.  We owe all that money because of me.”

Jin takes Taehyung’s hands and holds them tightly.  “Not your debt. You and I are family.  Our debt.  And you’re acting as if you had any control over what happened.”

“It’ll be fine Jin.  I’ve dealt with Jungkook enough to know how to handle him. I won’t let him get to me anymore. I’ll just keep my head down and do my job.  Try to interact with him as little as possible.  Treat him and that’s it. I can steer clear of him and his bad attitude.”

Jin purses his lips.  He knows his nephew can do that, but the real question is, will Jungkook allow him to do it?

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung sits in the corner of the gym, face buried in his book. He has kept his word.  He came in this morning avoiding Jungkook who glared at him with one of the most hateful looks he’s ever been on the receiving end of.  He had every intention of coming in and apologizing.  Being the bigger person.  That was until Jungkook gave him that murderous stare.  Jungkook wants to be a petty bitch.  Taehyung can be too.  He took out his book, sat in the corner and waited for the alpha to finish his training. 

“Fuck,” Jungkook cries out reaching up gripping his shoulder.  Taehyung looks up from his book jumping up and moving forward towards Jungkook. He rushes up and without thinking he places his hands on Jungkook’s shoulder.  Jungkook tenses under his touch, freezing, the smell of apples and cinnamon leaving him in a trance.”

“Stop it,” he whispers looking over his shoulder at Taehyung.

“But—“

“I said stop touching me! I don’t need you to come over here. I didn’t ask for your help Princess.”

Taehyung can’t believe this guy.  Jin is right.  Why is he even here? It’s not like he’s being allowed to do his job.

“Jungkook! Let him look at your shoulder,” Namjoon demands. 

“Joon is right. This stubborn alpha is never going to box professionally again if he doesn’t get better—“

“Shut up Jimin! No one asked you!”

“You’re adding too much stress onto the shoulder joint.  Overextending it.  You have this habit of fixing your shoulder in front of your body. You put all this strain on it because you’re struggling to maintain solid shoulder retraction,” Taehyung explains, stepping back to show Namjoon the position Jungkook is putting his shoulders in.

“What the fuck do you know about boxing positions Princess?  Go sit back in your corner and read your stupid book.”

“Jungkook, shut the fuck up,” Jimin says.  “He’s a physical therapist of course he knows what he’s talking about.”

Namjoon walks up to Jungkook looking at his shoulder as Taehyung points to a particular spot.  “He’s already damaged this area here.  He had surgery to repair it, but if he can’t learn how to retract his shoulders throughout the entire range of motion especially under such heavy hits, he’s going to risk injuring it again.”

Jungkook goes to open his mouth, but Namjoon puts a hand on it effectively shutting him up. “Keep quiet and listen. Go on Tae.”

“He keeps fighting in that position.  I watch him and every single time it’s the same thing.  He’s rounding his upper back putting strain on his shoulders.  It’s called the frightened cat posture.  You know shoulders up, tensed.”

Jungkook stops and thinks.  He looks at himself in the wall of mirrors that line the gym and takes a fighting position.  His usual fighting position.  And now that it’s been pointed out he does look like a frightened cat.  Shoulders up high. Why had they never noticed this before? “What the fuck Joon? You’re supposed to be my trainer.  How come you’ve never pointed that out to me?” Jungkook angrily says sending death glares at Namjoon through the mirror.

“I have.  You don’t listen you stubborn shit.”

“He needs to work on his mobility.  The exercises I gave you, have you done any of them?”

Jungkook ignores Taehyung, instead changing his posture.  He feels instant relief in his shoulder.

“If you just let me do my job, I could do those exercises with you.  We could do them together.  I could help with the mobility issues—“

I told you Princess go back to your fucking corner. Let the people who actually know about boxing do their thing.”

“So maybe you should sit down in the fucking corner too because you don’t know shit of what you’re talking about.”

Taehyung turns and gasps when he sees Yoongi enter the gym with his uncle angrily behind him.  He runs his hand through his hair.  So much for Jin promising he would stop treating Taehyung like a child.

“Jin.” Taehyung runs over to Yoongi and Jin.  He looks behind his shoulder as Hobi, Jimin, and Namjoon all stare. He’s so embarrassed. “Jin what the fuck?! I’m working! You can’t just show up here! And you!” Taehyung turns to Yoongi, “why would you indulge this shit and bring him here?”

Yoongi looks at Taehyung, eyes filled with guilt. “I’m sorry Tae.  I tried to stop him.  He wouldn’t listen.  You know how he gets. I swear I tried.”

Taehyung sighs. 

“Can I help you?” Namjoon starts to walk towards them, and Taehyung hopes to God the floor opens up and swallows them all.  He glances at Jungkook who is clenching his jaw. 

“Yeah, you can help convince me to not beat the shit out of Jungkook.  Who the fuck does he think he is hmm?” Jin looks at Jungkook, “You! Asshole! Who the fuck do you think you are? Thinking you can talk to my nephew the way you do? Piece of—“

Namjoon steps forward towards Jin.  He suddenly stops short.  The world around him ceases to exist.  Jin sucks in a breath.  His senses seem to have become heightened.  Especially his sense of smell. 

“Freshly cut grass,” eyes transfixed into Namjoon’s.

“Cherries,” replies Namjoon, returning Jin’s heavy gaze.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Him?! No fucking way!” Jungkook walks closer not being able to believe what is happening.  He looks at Taehyung who looks like he’s lost, looking out into space.

“Jin…him? Is it him? Your soulmate?” Taehyung asks.  Taehyung knows this was bound to happen.  It was only a matter of time before Jin found his fated one.  Maybe it’s Taehyung’s experience with soulmates and what it did to his parents, to him, that he very selfishly had hoped that maybe Jin would be safe from the whole thing.  That he wouldn’t be tied to a mate. 

Namjoon blinks.  He extends his hand.  Jin reaches up and shakes it.  “You can definitely smell me…right?”

Jin nods, “You?”

Namjoon nods as well.

Jungkook’s gaze is fixed on Taehyung again.  If only things had been different…

“I’m Namjoon.  Jungkook’s brother. You’re Taehyung’s Uncle?”

“I am.  Jin.”

Yoongi walks up to Taehyung who is staring down at the floor, silent. He reaches down and takes his hand and intertwines their fingers.  Taehyung looks up and Yoongi gives him a small smile.  Jungkook feels a small tinge in his chest as he watches the two interact.

“Congratulations you two.  Soulmates.” Taehyung responds.  “But, um, we’re working and Jungkook was in the middle of a heavy training session so…” Taehyung unclasps from Yoongi’s hand and goes to sit in the corner again clutching his book.

Yoongi follows close behind.  “Tae—“

“It was only a matter of time, Yoongs.  I’m happy for him,” Taehyung says looking up to see Jin laughing and talking to Namjoon.  Taehyung locks eyes with Jungkook.  He frowns because for the first time he doesn’t see anger or contempt in Jungkook’s eyes.  He sees sadness.  A look that seems so foreign and far removed from anything he’s ever seen from the alpha. Jungkook averts his gaze and goes to the other side of the gym to work on a punching bag.  He watches Jungkook who seems to make a conscious effort to change his stance, shoulders back.

“It’s funny isn’t it, Yoongi? How something so fucking ridiculous, people just buy into, without even questioning it. Imagine if you were to meet someone who had no concept of soulmates.  And you were to explain it to them…there is one person out there for you.  Your fated mate. And you have scents that are unique only to you, but only fated mates can smell them off each other. But you won’t know who that person is until you meet them. Until that moment when that particular scent hits your senses.  Enters your soul, your very existence locking you to that person for all eternity.” He snorts, “Or at least until one of you dies.  And if you are one of the unlucky few, you just give up and die with them.” Taehyung shakes his head.  “They would fucking laugh at you.  They would think you’re certifiable and take you to the nearest hospital.  But no. It’s real.  It’s a fucking Brother’s Grimm fairy tale turned to nightmarish real life.”

“Tae…”

Taehyung looks up to see a beaming Jin, smiling from ear to ear. “I had a very promising talk with Namjoon.  He’s going to talk to Jungkook.  About the way he treats you.  I think it’ll get better,” he says smiling.

Taehyung looks at Yoongi who rolls his eyes. “Awesome. I mean Namjoon’s talks with Jungkook have never worked before, so yeah. Fingers crossed.”

“I’m going home.  I’m sorry I just showed up here like this, but wow, am I glad I did.” Jin turns to face Namjoon.  “Call me.”

“For sure,” smiles Namjoon, dimples stuck in a perma grin. 

Jin walks out of the gym leaving Taehyung sitting with Yoongi in the corner while Namjoon and Hobi return back to training with Jungkook. Taehyung stares at Jungkook. He makes eye contact with him through the mirror.  That look of contempt is back again. He lets out a heavy sigh. He feels a dull ache in his chest as he turns his attention from the alpha.

“Can we get out of here? There’s really not much I can do here anyway.  He doesn’t want me helping him. There’s really no point in being here. Want to go get some drinks at Sligo’s? Just because I can’t taste them doesn’t mean I can’t get drunk.”

Yoongi chuckles. “Day drinking? When have I ever been known to say no to day drinking? Let’s go.”

Taehyung gets up, dusting his jeans off, taking his bag.

“Should you tell them you’re leaving?” Yoongi suggests.

“Pfft, what for? He won’t even know I’m gone, let alone fucking care. Let’s get the hell out of here,” Taehyung says leading the way to the exit.

Jungkook follows Taehyung through the mirror as he leaves the gym hand in hand with Yoongi.  His shoulders slump forward again.  He doesn’t notice through the mirror how much he resembles a frightened cat again.

Chapter Text

Taehyung wakes up, throat dry and coarse.  It hurts to swallow.  He sits up in bed and looks at his clock.  Early morning, but it looks like it’s the middle of the night.  It’s definitely fall in New England.  He can hear the rain beating down outside his window.  He rubs his eyes and stretches.  His body aches and he has a slight headache.

Taehyung groans.  Whatever this is, isn’t heat related.  It’s nowhere near that time of the year.  A small bit of panic settles in his chest.  He gets up from bed rushing to the bathroom.  He takes his thermometer and sticks it in his mouth, waiting.

He glances at his phone and notices the date.  Taehyung closes his eyes.  Maybe he should’ve told Namjoon he couldn’t come in today.  Maybe he’ll call in sick…not that Jungkook will care either way.  Sick.  Is he sick? He takes out the thermometer: 99.5.

His breath hitches. He has a fever.  He looks at himself in the mirror.  His breathing becoming shallow.  “Get a grip.  It’s probably just a cold.” He looks down at the counter and at his numerous pill bottles.  He starts his morning routine.  Taking each pill one by one making sure not to miss a single dose. 

He opens his medicine cabinet and takes out two ibuprofens for good measure. It’ll reduce the slight fever for this… “Cold? It’s probably a cold.  No big deal, Tae. Because it’s the anniversary for mom and you wake up feeling like shit.  I mean what are the odds the universe wants to fuck you over again…today of all days!”

His hands are shaking as he pops the two pills and swallows them. Was his headache this bad when he woke up or is he making it worse? Like a psychosomatic thing.

“I’m not sick.  I’m not,” Taehyung chants as he showers and gets ready.  He chants it while making his bed and he chants it when he feels so weak his knees buckle and he has to quickly sit in his swinging chair.  He takes a few deep breaths in hoping he doesn’t hyperventilate.  He’s spiraling.  He’s losing a grip on himself and letting his mind wander to places it shouldn’t.  He’s fine.  He’s not sick.  It’s just a cold. 

He stands up and straightens his vest.  He’s overreacting. He freezes.  If he’s overreacting… Jin and Yoongi. They’re going to book him the first appointment, the first room in that hospital.  “I’m fine.  It’s going to be fine.”

“Good morning!” Taehyung, as chipper as he can greets Jin and Yoongi.  Yoongi looks up from the couch where he’s sitting with a bowl of cereal.  Jin raises an eyebrow, coffee mug in hand.

“What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Jin asks immediately making his way over to Taehyung.

“I’m fine, I’m just saying good morning.”

Yoongi snorts, “You’re never this happy in the morning.  Jin is right.  Something is up.”

Jin reaches up and places a hand on Taehyung’s forehead. Taehyung swats it away and steps back. “Stop it!”

Jin frowns.  “You feel really warm. Do you have a fever?”

Yoongi’s eyes shoot up to look at Taehyung.  He harshly tosses his bowl on the table bolting up to come and put his own hand on Taehyung’s forehead. “Stop it! The both of you! I’m fine! I think it’s a cold.  My throat hurts and my body aches a bit.  And yes, I have a slight fever, but I took meds and I’m already feeling better.  No need to worry.”

Jin and Yoongi look between each other. “Maybe we should call the doctor, make an appointment—“

“For a cold? Come on guys, I told you I’m fine.”

Yoongi looks worried.  He is trying to stay calm, but “Tae, with the recent scare we had again—“

“My blood levels were a little off.  They explained why.  I was fine.  And I’m fine now.  It’s JUST a cold.  And I’ve been stressed out recently, all this shit with Jungkook at work.  I don’t know, maybe it’s my body telling me to slow down.  But believe me, it’s no big deal.  I don’t need an appointment.”

Yoongi looks at Jin and nods.  They had both discussed it.  Being a little less invasive, less suffocating with Taehyung.  If he says he’s fine, he’s fine.  They have to trust in what he says because sometimes a cold really is just a cold.

“What time are we leaving for the cemetery?” Taehyung asks pouring a cup of coffee.  He takes a sip and sticks his tongue out in disgust.  He really used to enjoy coffee.  He used to enjoy a lot of things.  He puts it in the sink and sits at the table.

“Maybe we should skip it.  If you aren’t feeling well, you should stay home.  Rest.  It’s rainy and gross out there Tae.  Your mom and dad will understand.  You can go tomorrow,” Jin responds placing a plate of apple slices in front of Taehyung.  He reaches for one biting into it.  Cardboard.  He gets up from the table and opens the freezer.

“Do we have any vanilla ice cream left?”

“For breakfast?” Yoongi snorts.

“It’s weird.  It’s literally the only thing I can actually taste,” Taehyung says shrugging.  He disappointedly closes the freezer making a mental note to buy some later when they’re out. 

“Vanilla ice cream?” Yoongi asks.

“I don’t want you going out in this Tae.  Go back to bed.” Jin tries to move Taehyung towards his bedroom, but Taehyung stands his ground. 

“No way! I wasn’t well enough last year to go and I’m not missing it this year.  We’re going! Get dressed. I want to try to get there before this rain gets any worse.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

It’s worse.  The rain is beating down in buckets as Taehyung, Jin, and Yoongi exit their car.  Umbrellas held up high as they make their way through the cemetery to the familiar place in the back.  Holy Cross Cemetery.  Taehyung was always so afraid of this place when he was a kid.

They had to drive through it every time they went to the movies in Revere.  All the way to Revere because it was the cinema his mother liked with the particular movie theatre popcorn she loved. They would drive through that long stretch through the cemetery and somehow in Taehyung’s memory it was always foggy.  No matter the time of day or weather.  He always expected to look out and see some living dead Zombie roaming the grounds ready to start an apocalypse.  He would close his eyes and recite passages from whatever book his mother was reading to him at the time, which he’s not sure how that was very comforting because it was almost always some Stephen King novel.  He chuckles thinking back to that memory. 

“What?” Yoongi asks, holding the umbrella up high for the two of them.  He pulls Taehyung close to make sure he’s shielded from the rain.

“Do you remember driving though this place to get to Showcase Cinemas?”

Yoongi laughs. “We thought Night of the Living Dead was going to happen.  We were so stupid.  Your mom trying to reassure us that even if that were to happen, we would all turn into cool zombies like the ones in Thriller.”

Jin laughs. “That’s my sister alright.”

“It’s so weird to think that I’ve spent half my life without them now.  It really doesn’t even feel real.  Standing here in front of their graves like this.  It feels strange.  Jin, do you miss her?”

Jin bends down and places the flowers he brought in front of the headstone. “Everyday.”

“There are moments when I forget they even existed.  Can you believe that? The guilt of that eats me up,” Taehyung says rubbing his arms.

“It’s normal. To feel that way.  It’s been a long time Tae. We were really young when they died.  A lot of years have passed.  Sometimes the mind makes it easier to forget so that it can stay healthy.” Yoongi hugs Taehyung tightly.  Taehyung places half of his roses on his mother’s stone and the other half on his father’s. 

“They’re probably bickering as we speak.  Mom wanting to sit in peaceful quiet so she can read her latest horror novel and dad turning up the volume to watch the football match,” Taehyung says smiling.

“And your dad eventually always doing what Ryeo wanted anyway.  Whipped idiot.  He loved her so much,” Jin laments.

Taehyung frowns.  He feels tears falling.  He hasn’t cried for his parents in a really long time. He glances over and sees the empty space next to his mother.  “Is that my plot?” He feels Yoongi tense next to him.

Jin doesn’t turn to look at Taehyung.  He stares at his sister’s head stone unblinking. “Yes.”

“I—I updated my DNR with my doctor recently. I still have you, and you too Yoongs, as my main people.  The ones I want to carry out my wishes.”

Yoongi grips Taehyung tightly.  “Do you think I’ll make a cool zombie when I die?”

Yoongi looks at Taehyung who is staring at the empty space next to this mother, lost in thought. “The coolest.  You would make the coolest, old as fuck zombie ever,” he says giving Taehyung a tight hug again.

“Old as fuck huh? You think so?”

“I fucking know so.”

“Maybe…” Taehyung answers and he’s not sure if it is psychosomatic or not, but in that moment he feels sick.  He feels rundown and achy.  The headache suddenly getting worse. 

“Do you think we could cut this short and go home? I’m not feeling great.  I really just want to go home and crawl into bed,” Taehyung says, eyes glossy.

Jin tries to school his expression when he looks at Yoongi.  “Sure Tae.  I’ll call Namjoon and tell him you aren’t going today.  That you’re taking a sick day.”

“Thanks Jin.” Taehyung turns to the headstones and kneels in front of them.  “Mom, dad, I wish I didn’t have to cut this so short…especially since I couldn’t be here last year.  And I had so much I wanted to tell you both, but,” Taehyung massages his temple, “I’m just not feeling that great.  But I promise I’ll come back soon and have a much longer visit with the both of you.”

Yoongi helps Taehyung up.  He nuzzles into Yoongi and rests his head on his shoulder.  “You feel really warm Tae,” Yoongi says sending a look to Jin.

“Hurry, come on let’s get him home,” Jin says.  He turns quickly and gives one last look upon his sister’s grave, “Don’t worry Sis.  I’ve got him.  I won’t let anything happen to him.  He’s going to be just fine.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook lifts his arm and stretches it massaging his shoulder.  He glances at his watch.  It’s only been 10 minutes.  The time dragging when all he wants to do is get back to the gym.

“Jungkook,” Dr. Monahan says sighing, “we spoke about this last week.  I can’t work harder than you at this.  We can sit here and stare at each other and not talk.  I get paid either way Jungkook, but is it what I want to happen? No.  I would like you to take advantage of our hour together to make progress.”

Jungkook shifts uncomfortably in his seat but stays quiet.

“Jungkook, I know how to sit in silence.  I know how to be ok sitting in my own thoughts…do you? Because if so, we can absolutely sit here for the hour and just stare at each other.” Dr. Monahan crosses her legs and places her hands in her lap.  She smiles and stares at Jungkook. 

He looks away and massages his shoulder again. “My shoulder—it’s actually hurting less today,” he says still not looking at Dr. Monahan.

“That’s great Jungkook! Does this mean you’ve been better at letting Taehyung help you?”

Jungkook sighs. “I’ve been doing the exercises he left me at home.  On my own.  And making a conscious effort to manage my posture better.”

“Last time you were here we talked about maybe being more open to letting Taehyung actually do his job with you.  Did you try?”

“I can’t say I did, no.”

“Did you try to talk to him.  To have a civil conversation with him?”

“Civil? I don’t think I know how to really do that with anyone,” Jungkook snorts.

“You’re doing it with me.  You don’t always talk Jungkook, but when you do, you’re able to have a respectful conversation.”

“I guess.”

“How has Taehyung been with you lately?”

“The way he always is.  I say something incredibly stupid and fucked up to him and he retaliates.  He punched me,” Jungkook points to his nose, “but you can’t even blame him.  I said something pretty fucked up to him.  I pushed all his buttons.”

“And how did you feel after it happened?”

“How I always feel…like shit.  I felt like shit.  Have you found your soulmate Dr. Monahan?”

Dr. Monahan sits back in her chair. “We need to keep the focus on you.”

“Namjoon found his.  It’s Jin.  Taehyung’s uncle.  The irony. I couldn’t even make it up. And do you know what Taehyung did when it happened.  He just stood there.  He just fucking stood there and said nothing…just like he did with me when we met.  When…”

“When you realized he was your soulmate.”

Jungkook nods bitterly.

“May I remind you Jungkook, that you also stayed quiet.  You didn’t say anything to him either.”

“I was taken aback! I—I wasn’t expecting it.  But then he just shook my hand and walked away.  Never once spoke about it.  Just ignored it. Ignored me.  Just like everyone else has.”

“You discussed the concept of soulmates before.  You’ve been very against it.  Does it bother you that perhaps he might have felt the same and that’s why he ignored the connection with you?”

“I at least thought the one person, that bond that everyone always talks about, would be different from everyone, from anything I’d ever experienced before.  But it turned out to be the same.  If not worse.  I fucking hate him…and at the same time I—I” Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut.  He closes his fists so tightly they turn white.

“Jungkook, we’ve talked before how your trauma, the attachment issues and abuse you suffered as a child have shaped your adult life.  But don’t you think it’s time you started working on tangible change.  We discussed the stages of change.  I think this is a good opportunity to start implementing those changes.  Jungkook, you’ve lived your life in anger and in fear.  It controls everything you’ve done. And I’m going to venture to say it’s controlling the situation with your injury now as well.”

“I’m not afraid. What exactly do you think I’m afraid of?”

“Of being vulnerable.  Vulnerability is a trigger for you.  You’ve had to be strong both mentally and physically to survive in your life.  And although you have people in your life now, the idea of being vulnerable with them, opening yourself to them fully is terrifying to you.  You make sure to keep them close yet as far away as you can.  This way you don’t get hurt.  You need to learn how to trust.”

“Great. And how do you want me to do that? I’ve never been able to trust anyone.”

“And you never will if you don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable.  Perhaps you should start with Taehyung.  Instead of making assumptions about why he ignored the soulmate bond, talk to him.  Put your cards on the table.  And if it turns out that you were right about him then you move on.  Not everyone ends up with their soulmate Jungkook.  There are those who are just not compatible.  And that’s ok too.  But it also takes work, and you didn’t even try. It’s not only affecting your emotional well-being, but your physical one as well.  He’s on your team to help you.  Allow him to do that or find someone new. But this back and forth with Taehyung.  It’s destructive.  It’s toxic. And it isn’t healthy.”

“I—I seriously don’t know how to be anything but that with him.  He just makes me so angry.  Every time I look at him, I think back to that moment and it makes my blood boil.  I think about how much his scent affects me when he’s around and yet for him nothing.  He’s so indifferent to me.  It’s like I have no effect on him whatsoever and all he does is affect me.  All he does is make me think about him.  It’s to the point where I can’t even be with any else to blow off some steam because my fucking alpha revolts.  My body protests! And he’s completely unaffected! It doesn’t faze him!”

“How do you know that? Have you asked him? Some people are better at hiding things than others.  Perhaps he just doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve as easily as other people.  It doesn’t mean you know his inner self.  What he may be thinking, feeling. You’re making assumptions again Jungkook. And that only leads to you giving yourself permission to continue to close yourself off to people.  To possibilities.”

“I told you! I don’t know how to act otherwise! It’s not—Fuck it’s not even just Taehyung!  I just—don’t know how to change my behaviors with everyone!” Jungkook leans forward and slams his hand frustratingly on the small coffee table in front of them. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I—see! I don’t know how to control this fucking anger sometimes! It’s so overwhelming,” Jungkook says putting his face in his hands. 

“Jungkook,” Dr. Monahan says gently. “We need to find ways for you to channel this anger, stress, anxiety, and all of your insecurities because you are projecting them all onto those around you. Try identifying your personality traits that might come across as brash, aggressive, or intimidating to some people. Reflect on how you can change your behavior and mannerisms. Remember, recognizing the need to change is an essential first step toward modifying your attitude.”

“You need to reflect on your unresolved emotional issues and look for strategies to address and cope with the mental distress. For example, if you think you are acting out aggressively because of stress and anxiety, channel it in another manner.  You already used to do that! Boxing is your release.  You need to get back to it.  And in order to do that you need to be physically healthy.  Be more open to allowing Taehyung to help you with that.  Let that be the opening you need to start to repair that relationship.  It will not only help you physically, but also emotionally.”

“Do you think you can do that?”

Jungkook doesn’t know if he can do that, but he knows he can try. 

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung lies in bed snuggled into Yoongi.  “Achoo!” he sneezes and sniffles into a tissue.  Yoongi looks down and hands him the whole box.  He never thought he’d be so grateful to hear Taehyung sneeze. To be happy to know that it really is just a cold.   

“Do you want anything to eat? I can make you some soup,” Yoongi asks pushing aside Taehyung’s sweaty bangs from his eyes.

“Oh god no.  No soup.  I would kill for some vanilla ice cream though, but we don’t have any. ACHOO!” Taehyung snuggles in closer to Yoongi.  “You’re going to get sick if you stay in here.”

Yoongi puts an arm around Taehyung and pulls him in closer. “I don’t care.  Besides, I promised Jin I would take care of you while he’s at work.  It’s easier for me to call in. And I’ll text Jin and ask him to get you some vanilla ice cream for later.”

“Thanks Yoongs.”

“Want to watch a movie?”

Taehyung shakes his head.  He reaches over to his nightstand handing Yoongi the book. “Will you read to me please?”

Yoongi smiles.  “Sure thing.” Yoongi takes the book and opens it to a page where Taehyung has a picture as a bookmark. 

“We’re a good-looking crew,” Yoongi says laughing.

“We are,” Taehyung giggles, “ACHOO! Here, Yoongs, take a selfie with me first.” Taehyung takes his phone and snaps a pic.  He laughs and immediately adds it as his wallpaper.

Yoongi rolls his eyes and then begins to read, “People’s minds, particularly the minds of children, are like wells—deep wells full of sweet water. And sometimes, when a particular thought is too unpleasant to bear, the person who has that thought will lock it into a heavy box and throw it into that well. He listens for the splash…and then the box is gone. Except it is not, of course. Not really.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook looks impatiently at the door.  “Jungkook! Focus! You’re all over the place with your punches today!” Namjoon gives Hobi an annoyed look, motioning for him to take over. “What’s going on with you today?”

“Nothing,” Jungkook responds looking over at the heavy gym doors again. “What time is Taehyung getting here.  I need him to ice my shoulder again like he did the last time.”

“He’s not,” Namjoon replies.

Jungkook stops in his tracks. “Why not? Is he ok?”

“Why? You worried about him?” Jimin asks, raising an eyebrow smirking. Jungkook turns, staring daggers at him.

“Because Jin said he’s sick.  He has a cold and he’s staying home to rest.”

“Oh.” Jungkook feels that pain in his chest again. He has 4 uneaten baked apple pies frozen in his freezer.  He really doesn’t want to make it a 5^th tonight. 

He was actually really hoping to see Taehyung today.  Not only because he needs his scent more than anything right now, but he’s been really thinking about his therapy session from last night.  Maybe Namjoon and Dr. Monahan are right.  Maybe he is making assumptions.  His anger for Taehyung clouding his judgement.  He wants to implement change just like Dr. Monahan has suggested.

“Jungkook!”

“What?!”

“Take a break. Go screw you head on straight. It’s everywhere, but here,” Hobi says. 

Jungkook grabs a towel wiping the sweat from his brow and takes his phone.  He opens Instagram and starts scrolling absentmindedly. He stops and looks up to see Jimin and Hobi play fighting in the ring.  Namjoon away in the office.

His finger hovers over the search icon.  He enters it and types in the name: Taehyung Kim.  Taehyung’s profile pops up.  He knows he shouldn’t be stalking him like this, but he can’t help it. He’s curious.  Wanting to know more about Taehyung.  The feeling, the need for it taking over more incessantly lately. 

“He really is annoyingly pretty,” he says as he looks at his profile picture.  He does a once over quickly of his profile and that’s when he wishes he hadn’t. 

There are pictures of Taehyung and Jin as expected.  And ones he can only assume are of a young Taehyung with his parents.  But then there are the infinite photos of him and that Alpha Yoongi.  Picture upon picture of Taehyung with the alpha, starting from when they were children.

He frowns when he sees the most recent post.  Uploaded just an hour ago.  “Sick my ass,” Jungkook says angrily.  It’s a selfie of Taehyung with Yoongi. 

The caption has Jungkook seeing red.  He tosses his phone to one side. “Hobi! Stop fucking around with your boyfriend! Let’s get to work!” Jungkook furiously yells, eyes turning a harsh fireball red. 

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Taehyung walks into the gym dragging his feet. He coughs and sniffles as he pulls the hoodie over his head.  He wishes he could’ve stayed in bed again today, but Jin told him that Namjoon had mentioned Jungkook asking for him.  Jungkook actually asked for him.  He’s not sure why it makes him feel happy in a way.  It makes him feel needed.  Jungkook has never once asked for him.  Taehyung isn’t someone who Jungkook cares about even a little so to hear he asked about him and wanted to participate in a session, made Taehyung get out of bed and come to work.  Even coming in earlier than he usually ever does.  No matter how lousy he feels.

He spots Jungkook practicing on the speed bag. His posture looks slightly improved.  Maybe Jungkook was ready to really work with him now.  He seems to be listening and doing as he instructed. Taehyung smiles.

“Hey Jungkook,” he greets happily. “Looking good.  Your mobility looks good today.”

Jungkook doesn’t stop or turn to look at Taehyung.  “Look who decided to show up to work today. Got bored lying in bed with your alpha all day Princess?”

Taehyung frowns. “My Alpha? I don’t have an alpha.  And I was in bed sick all day that’s why I couldn’t come in.”

Jungkook digs his tongue into his cheek. “Right. Sure. Look, I’m busy.  Actually working.  Some of us have to work.  You must love being an Omega huh? Letting your alpha take care of you while you collect a paycheck from literally doing nothing.”

Taehyung scrunches his nose in disgust. “That’s not even remotely what I do.  I work myself, for everything I have Jungkook! And I’ve tried with you! It’s you who won’t let me do my fucking job!”

“You clearly don’t care about this job.  Coming and going whenever the fuck you want while you lie in bed, “sick.” Yeah, what’s the remedy? His fucking dick in your ass,” spews Jungkook.  Each word like venom, hitting Taehyung with painful blows.

“Fuck you! Fuck you Jungkook! I’m not some fucking whore! What did I do?! What the fuck did I do to you for you to hate me so much?! Please tell me?! What is your problem?!”

“You! You’re my fucking problem! I can’t fucking stand being around you! Your fucking face grates on my nerves! I wish I had never met you, Taehyung. I wish you didn’t fucking exist.  That you disappeared and fucked off from ever existing!” Jungkook doesn’t even know when he had moved, but he’s now realized he is inches from Taehyung’s face.  His eyes are blood red. 

Taehyung stands still.  Bottom lip quivering, eyes watering. Jungkook blinks and steps back.  They are both startled by the heavy gym doors slamming shut as Namjoon, Hobi, and Jimin enter the gym.

“What’s going on,” Jimin asks, eyes darting from Jungkook to Taehyung.

Jungkook shakes his head, “Nothing.”

“I quit,” Taehyung says almost inaudible.

“What?” Namjoon asks making his way closer to Taehyung to better hear him.

“I quit,” Taehyung repeats, louder, more confidently this time. Jungkook’s eyes bulge widely, and he looks at Taehyung then Namjoon who looks equally surprised.

“Taehyung—“ Namjoon starts.

“I quit,” Taehyung turns to Jungkook, “You win.  Good luck with your career Jungkook.”

Taehyung turns on his heels and walks past everyone, leaving the gym, not once looking back. 

Jungkook grips his chest, face contorting in pain. 

“What did you do?” Namjoon asks, looking angrily at Jungkook. “What the fuck did you do Jungkook?!”

Jungkook feels breathless, chest in aching agony. 

What did he do?

Chapter Text

Jungkook groans in bed.  He turns making sure he doesn’t apply pressure on his shoulder and lies on his chest. But that aches as well, only that’s an internal ache.  A jarring, raw, open wound that can’t be seen by the naked eye.  It’s been a week since Taehyung quit and walked out of his life. And ever since it’s happened, he’s feeling a pain, a loss he never thought possible. 

At first, he felt numb.  The pain dull, warning him perhaps of what was to come.  As the minutes, the days passed, it became unbearable. 

But it wasn’t only the physical pain.  It was the mental, the emotional.  He feels lost.  He hasn’t been able to eat, to sleep.  He hasn’t been back to the gym.  Jungkook has stopped doing those exercises Taehyung left him and in turn his shoulder is barely movable.  He didn’t realize how much he enjoyed seeing Taehyung’s face every day.  How much interacting with him made a difference in his world. 

Interact.  Harass, abuse, yell, insult.  He would hardly call that interacting.  “Fucking Taehyung!” He reaches up and grips at his heart.

What did he do?

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Tae? Can we come in?” Jin cautiously sticks his head through the door but is pushed aside by Yoongi who barges in.

“Get up! It’s been a week.  Get the fuck up out of bed.  We’re going out.  Right now,” Yoongi says as he searches for Taehyung under the mound of blankets. 

“I don’t feel up for it,” mumbles Taehyung.  He feels nauseous.  And his heart.  His heart feels like it’s breaking apart. It hurts.  He scrunches himself into a ball and groans.  “Guys—maybe…I think something is wrong.  My chest hurts.”

Jin and Yoongi look at each other.  Yoongi sees Jin’s chest start to move quicker, breathing picking up. Yoongi shakes his head.  “Jin, he’s fine. He’s—you’re just feeling lost right now.  Like you said.  Remember? It’s expected.  You quit a job that you’ve been working at for months.  And even though it fucking sucked, it’s expected that it’ll affect you. You just need to get up.  Get yourself out,” Yoongi takes a look around Taehyung’s room.  Empty bowls line the whole area. “And maybe think about eating something other than vanilla ice cream,” Yoongi says scrunching his face in disgust.

“Why does it hurt so much.  Why am I this sad about quitting this job?” Taehyung asks throwing the blankets off himself.  “I don’t get it.  I should be happy to get away from him. I should be cheering. Rejoicing at never having to see his fucking mean annoying face ever again and yet…it hurts.  And…I kind of miss him.”

Yoongi’s face contorts, “THAT’S FUCKING IT! GET THE FUCK UP! GO SHOWER. NOW WE ARE REALLY GOING OUT!” Yoongi pulls Taehyung off the bed as Taehyung protests and whines.  Yoongi pushes him and shoves him into his bathroom. “DON’T COME OUT UNTIL YOU’RE SHOWERED AND READY TO GO OUT!”

“Yoongi—why does this feel like when Ryeo—like when Han—“

“Don’t—don’t fucking say it, Jin.  It’s impossible. Taehyung has never once mentioned anything that has to do with soulmates and that alpha.  Not once.  And Jungkook has never brought it up either. And you see Jungkook! How he treats Taehyung!  Soulmates don’t treat each other like that! Nope.  That’s not what’s happening.  Besides what happened with Ryeo and Han.  It’s one in a million.  An anomaly.  They were like super soulmates.  Their bond started when they were kids before they even presented.  Bonds like those are rare.  And those two never met each other as children. Stop searching for things that aren’t there.  He’s fine.  He just needs a change of pace.  A new lease at life.”

“I really hope you’re right Yoongi.  Because if you’re not.  We are ALL in a lot of trouble,” Jin says worriedly looking at the bathroom door.

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“Jungkook, maybe you should actually make something to eat instead of baking all of these,” Jimin says looking around the kitchen.  Hobi frowns, opening the fridge, “Eat what? It’s empty. Babe, why don’t we go out and get Jungkook some groceries.  And some food.  Real food.”

“I’m not hungry,” Jungkook mumbles sitting at the kitchen table his head in one hand while the other holds his shoulder.

“Well, maybe for later hmm, come on Jimin,” Hobi takes Jimin’s hand and pulls him out.

“Jungkook—“

“Don’t.  Namjoon please.  I’m begging you please don’t start in on me again.  I literally don’t have the energy.  Everything fucking hurts.  I can’t.  Not today please.”

Namjoon’s heart breaks for his baby brother.  But he doesn’t know how to help him.  This is something he doesn’t even know how to begin to fix. Because some things are broken and shattered so badly that they can’t be put back together.  And this seems irreparable.

“Jungkook…what if you talk to him.  Reach out. Apologize—“

“No! Oww!” Jungkook bends down in pain.  He’s not sure what’s worse the pain in his shoulder or the one in his heart. 

“You can’t keep on like this! This is worse than the last time! Jungkook please.  This isn’t fucking normal.  I—don’t even know what THIS is.  I’ve never heard of something like this before.  But there’s no denying it has to do with your soulmate bond with Taehyung.  You NEED to talk to him.  Or talk to someone who might know how to fix this.  Your therapist maybe? A doctor? I Don’t fucking know, but we need to find a way to help you!”

“I don’t need help! It’ll pass!”

“And what if it doesn’t?! Huh?! What if it only gets worse from here on out?! It didn’t pass last time.  It only got better once you two reunited again.”

“What does it matter anyway Joon,” Jungkook says grimacing at the pain. “I fucked up. I know I did. Badly.  He’s not going to want to talk to me Namjoon.  And I deserve it.  He’s moved on with his life and is probably out celebrating right now.  Probably has a new job already.  This more than likely hasn’t affected him.  I’m of course, the only who gets shit on by life again.  It’s the same as always Namjoon.  Life has been beating my ass since I was a kid.  Why should it be any different now?”

“Because it is.  I don’t know Jungkook, it’s different now.  I keep telling you, you aren’t alone anymore. You keep acting like it, but you aren’t.  I’m here to help you…if you just let me.”

Jungkook closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in.  He shouldn’t have done that.  His chest aches with every breath.  He winces in pain.

“Fine.  You want to help me.  Go ahead.  I’d love to see how you intend on doing that.”

‘You win,’ Taehyung had said to him before he left.  In reality, Jungkook had lost.  And it was the biggest loss he’s ever seen.

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Taehyung sits in the salon chair staring back at his reflection.  He looks awful.  He has black bags under his eyes.  His usual tan skin looks pale.  He looks exhausted, worn down.  He looks exactly how he looked when…

“That color will look amazing on you! I mean any color looks good on you, but this will look otherworldly.  Fucking ethereal Tae! Imagine you meet your soulmate looking like this.  They’d fucking faint!” Yoongi says smiling.

Taehyung grips his chest at Yoongi’s words.  Meeting his soulmate? That’s the last thing he wants to think about right now.  He’d be happy with taking a breath and not having his chest hurt.

“It’s all in your head, Taehyung. It is.  This will make you feel better,” Yoongi tells Taehyung reassuringly.

“How is getting a fucking makeover going to do that? And how can you tell me this is all in my head?! I’m in actual physical pain.  I can’t believe that’s coming from you who sees me sneeze and thinks the world has ended.  I mean the fucking hypocrisy.”

Yoongi sighs.  He anxiously rubs his hands together.  It has to be all in his head because Jin is right.  This all feels oddly familiar. And it’s terrifying Yoongi down to his core.

“You’re going to be fine.  It’s fine.”

“You know I used to do that all the time when I first got diagnosed.  It doesn’t work Yoongi.  It’s called denial.  And it doesn’t fix anything,” Taehyung sadly says as they turn him around in his chair to start on his hair.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Dinner? You’re fucking kidding, right?! You want me to show up at Taehyung’s for dinner?”

“You could go and finally see him.  Talk to him and apologize.”

“And Jin agreed to this? He is actually allowing me to enter his house? After what I did and said to his nephew?” Jungkook looks at a Namjoon in utter shock.  There is no way anyone is this forgiving.

“Well…not exactly.  I mean, he asked me over for dinner.  But he wants me to have dinner with not only him, but with Taehyung as well.  We’re soulmates so he doesn’t want any bad feelings between his nephew and I.”

“No, the bad feelings are between his nephew and his soulmates adopted brother.  This is fucking crazy Namjoon! I can’t just show up there like that! Unannounced.  They’ll murder me! You said you’d help me not get me killed!”

“I am helping,” Namjoon says, throwing his hands up in frustration, “this is the only way I know how to help.  And I know this isn’t the best way to start off my relationship with my soulmate, but I don’t know what else to do.  Jungkook, you’re in bad shape.  Really bad.  Your health is deteriorating.  We need to do something.  I’m desperate here…and I know you are too.  I hear you…crying in the bathroom.  When you think no one can hear you.”

Namjoon has been staying at Jungkook’s apartment to help him and keep an eye on him despite Jungkook’s protests.  And he knows how much he’s suffering.  Whatever is happening between Jungkook and Taehyung’s bond is debilitating him in ways Namjoon never could have predicted.  Physically and emotionally. Namjoon needs to find a way to have these two connect. To talk.  Even if it’s by lying to his own soulmate. 

“You need to try Jungkook.  This needs to be the time where you try to change and make this work or end it completely.  And then we try to figure out specialists or research what to do about this bond.  But I think you need to talk first.  Please.  I can’t see you suffer like this anymore.”

Jungkook sighs.  “Fine. But I’m going on record saying that I think this is really bad idea.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“This is a really bad idea,” Taehyung says, taking the food out of the oven for Jin. “He’s your soulmate, why do I need to be at this dinner?”

“Because you’re my nephew and the most important person in my life.  I want you and my soulmate to get along.  And right now, there’s a lot of tension because of that asshole Jungkook.”

Taehyung winces.  He pulls a kitchen chair and quickly sits in it.  He holds his palm to his chest. 

Jin looks at him, face filled with concern and worry. “Is it getting worse?”

“It’s been worse. I don’t know what this is. I’m not concerned it’s a relapse because these were never symptoms I had.  This is something else. I think I need to go see my doctor to be quite honest.  What if this is another side effect to all this shit I’m on—“

Taehyung is interrupted by the front doorbell.  Taehyung sighs deeply.  Why did he agree to this? He wishes Yoongi were here.  He always feels infinitely better with Yoongi by his side, but he had to work, having already taken so much time off with Taehyung not feeling well.  The amount of times Yoongi has had to do that is frankly alarming.  Taehyung is surprised he hasn’t been fired yet.

“He’s here!” Jin says excitedly.  Taehyung can’t help but smile.  Happiness looks good on his uncle.  And God knows he hasn’t been able to feel that for so long.  If Jin wants him to stay for dinner and make nice with Namjoon, he will.  For Jin, he would do anything.

He walks by the mirror in the hallway doing a double take. “I can’t believe Yoongi convinced me to do this to my hair.”

“It looks beautiful.  You look beautiful.  But you always do.  It’s those Kim genes,” Jin says winking at Taehyung as he goes to open the door making Taehyung roll his eyes.

Jin opens the door to a smiling Namjoon.  First thing Taehyung notices are his very prominent dimples on full display.  The second thing he notices is the body standing behind him and he instantly feels the tension in his chest disappear, instead having it be replaced with something else…confusion and rage.  Taehyung’s eyes turn icy blue as he stares in anger and disbelief.

“Your hair is blue. It’s so pretty,” is the only thing Jungkook can think to say.  The only thing that blurts out. His eyes go wide as he hears the words exit his mouth. Namjoon face palms and shakes his head.  

“What the fuck is this?” Taehyung asks, looking at Jin. “What the fuck are you doing here?!” He can’t believe his eyes.  What the hell is Jungkook doing standing at his doorstep?

Jin looks equally as angry glaring daggers at Namjoon, who is almost certain if looks could kill both he and Jungkook would be dead on the floor right now.  “What is this, Namjoon?! Why is he here with you?! Because I invited YOU to dinner, not this asshole Alpha. This honestly seems like a sabotage, and not a good way to start off anything with me Namjoon.”

Jin turns his murderous expression to Jungkook who really wishes he hadn’t listened to his stupid brother.

“And you. I can’t believe you have the audacity to show up here.  After what you said.  After treating my nephew like a piece of trash.  You think I’m going to let you in my house? For what? So you can disrespect him in his own home? Wow you are fucking dumber than I thought—“

Jungkook sneers and lunges forward to only have a large heavy hand hold him back. “Stand down alpha.  I’m serious Jungkook.  You’ve done enough.  Stand the fuck down and swallow and listen to it all,” he pulls him to the side and stands inches from his face. “I’m trying to help you here, but if you start to mess with Jin, my mate, I won’t hesitate to stop.  You came here to apologize.  To finally talk to Taehyung.  To try to fix things.  Don’t ruin this further.  You feel better right?”

Jungkook blinks and frowns.  He only now realizes that what Namjoon is saying is true.  All the pain he’s felt in his chest and his heart is gone.  Just like that.  He feels fine now as if it was never there.  He cringes when he catches a whiff of burnt apple pie and looks over to see Taehyung, arms crossed, glaring at him.

“I don’t think I can do this Namjoon.  I really don’t know how. He hates me.  And I hate him…right?” Jungkook looks at Namjoon confused because if he’s being honest, he doesn’t even know anymore.

“Talk to him Jungkook.  Please.  Just try to talk to him.”

“They don’t want me here,” Jungkook mumbles motioning to both Jin and Taehyung who look absolutely terrifying.

“Change their mind then,” shrugs Namjoon, stepping aside to give room for Jungkook to start making amends.  He knows that Jungkook is not incapable of feeling empathy, of showing remorse.  He just needs to try. 

“Fine,” Jungkook replies through gritted teeth.

Taehyung goes to turn around, as Jin moves to slam the door. He’s stopped by Jungkook who holds onto the door for dear life. 

“I know this may seem disrespectful of Namjoon, but please don’t ruin your dinner because of me.  He was really excited and hasn’t stopped talking about it since you invited him.  Don’t make him pay for all of my bullshit.” Jungkook let’s go of the door and looks down at his feet.  Jin sighs and turns to looks at Taehyung whose eyes are still crystal blue. 

“Tae?”

Taehyung sighs as well and blinks.  He takes a deep breath,

📖 ‘I think that real friendship always makes us feel such sweet gratitude, because the world almost always seems like a very hard desert, and the flowers that grow there seem to grow against such high odds.‘

He opens his eyes. They are no longer cold as ice, but back to their usual warm chocolate tone.

“Namjoon can stay.  And…so can you.  If you promise not to be a complete asshole. You can stay for dinner.”

Jin’s mouth drops. “Absolutely not.  I’m all for Namjoon staying, but you,” he turns looking furiously at Jungkook, “are not welcome here.”

“Jin, it’s fine.  He can stay.  It’s just dinner.  And once it’s done, once tonight is done, he can leave and never come back.  We won’t ever have to interact with each other ever again.”

Jungkook gulps. His anxiety picking up once he hears that. 

“You heard my nephew. You can stay, but not one word out of you.  Understood? You’re being allowed to stay because HE gave you permission to because I would be happy to not ever have you step foot in our home.”

Jungkook turns to look at Namjoon and then back at Jin.  He nods, silently. 

“Come in then.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Wait a second, you’re actually from Somerville? I’m from Cambridge,” Namjoon says.

“My condolences,” Taehyung replies rolling his eyes as he pokes at his food. 

“Taehyung!” Jin turns and gives Taehyung a look.  Taehyung sighs as he looks up catching Jungkook staring at him.  He’s been staring at him since they sat down at the dining room table to have dinner.  Taehyung not really understanding why he’s here.  He made it extremely clear to him that Taehyung is not someone Jungkook likes or wants to be around.  If Jungkook only knew how close he came to having his wish come true.  To having Taehyung disappear from existence. 

“Jungkook’s first boxing gym was in Somerville when he was 13.  This shitty little place off a side street.  My dad knows the owner.”

Taehyung gets pulled back from his thoughts looking at Jungkook. “At the old Edgerly school? You did boxing there?” he asks looking at Jungkook who doesn’t respond. He sits silently looking down at his food.

Jin frowns. “Wait, what? That’s across the street from Taehyung and Yoongi’s old elementary school…you went there to box?”

Namjoon nods.  “He did, yeah.”

Jin’s heart rate picks up, “But..that would mean you may have—you had the opportunity to have run into each other, meet each other,” he says softly, fear taking hold.

“Meet each other?” Taehyung asks looking at Jin with a raised brow.

“Taehyung you’ve barely eaten.  Are you still not feeling well?” Namjoon asks looking at Taehyung’s plate with concern.

“Oh, um yeah I’m still feeling kind of shitty, but it’s just that—“

“He can’t really taste anything,” Jin responds.  Taehyung avoids everyone’s gaze suddenly feeling embarrassed.

“You can’t taste anything?”

“No. I’m on these meds and they cause all these shitty side effects.  I can’t taste anything.  I mean that’s not really the real problem. It’s the sense of smell thing.  But since smell and taste are linked, the first problem caused my second.”

Jungkook’s eyes snap to Taehyung’s. “Your sense of smell thing?”

“Yeah, I lost my sense of smell a while ago. Almost a year now actually…”

Jungkook’s breath hitches.  He feels like the world is falling from under him.  “You can’t smell anything?” he shakily asks.

“Um, no.  It’s like when you have a cold.  If your nose is all stuffy your sense of taste gets thrown off.  That’s basically me.  I haven’t been able to taste my food probably in forever.  I’m not really sure what’s worse, the lack of taste buds, Taehyung snorts, “or the lack of smelling anything.  Probably the taste thing, I guess.  Everything tastes so monotone.” Taehyung sticks his tongue out in disgust and pushes his plate aside.

“You can’t smell anything.  You don’t have a sense of smell,” Jungkook repeats.  He feels sick.  His heart aches.  He turns to look at Namjoon who is staring at him, eyes wide in shock. 

“Jungkook? Are you ok?” Jin asks frowning. “You went incredibly pale.”

“You can’t smell anything,” he states, staring at Taehyung in disbelief. “You can’t smell a thing.  Nothing.”

Taehyung looks at Namjoon, confused.  “Right. That’s what I said.  My meds have fucked up my senses.  Smell being one of them. Is he ok?” Taehyung asks Namjoon. 

Jungkook feels like crying.  Yelling. Pulling his hair.  What the fuck has he done?

Jin and Taehyung look back when they hear keys entering the front door. Yoongi.  Taehyung looks at Jin and shakes his head.  Yoongi didn’t know Jungkook would be here.  This isn’t going to end well.  Taehyung gets up instantly running to the door, but he’s too late.  Yoongi is inside and by the look on the alpha’s face he is most definitely not happy to see Jungkook in his house. 

“Yoongs—“

“What the fuck is he doing here?! In our fucking house?!” Yoongi charges forward.  It happens so quickly not even Jungkook has time to react.  It also doesn’t help that he’s been so sick due to the soulmate bond that his reaction time is off.  One second, he’s staring at Yoongi then the next he has said alpha on top of him raining blow after blow to his face.  Jungkook is momentarily paralyzed, until he realizes what’s happening and he puts his arms up protectively.  “Fuck this!” he yells, and he swings, catching Yoongi in the chin knocking the alpha off from on top of him. 

“Yoongi stop!” Taehyung screams holding him back.  Namjoon has Jungkook by the arms and pulls, making the alpha grimace in pain when he feels his shoulder pull back.  Namjoon realizes what he just did and quickly loosens his grip. He turns Jungkook around and holds him still.

“Jungkook, calm down! Let’s go! Let’s get out of here!” Namjoon yells over Yoongi’s swears and insults that he continues to hurl towards Jungkook. 

“Jin! I’m getting him out here before these two kill each other,” Namjoon yells over the commotion. Jin nods while Taehyung cups Yoongi’s face trying to get the alpha to focus on him and calm down. 

Jungkook’s eyes turn red when he sees the omega’s hands on Yoongi. He growls as he passes them, Namjoon dragging him out of the house and pulling him, somehow getting him into the passenger seat of his car. 

Jungkook stares out of the car window in a daze.  He suddenly starts laughing.  Loud and uncontrollably.  His laughs startle and unsettle Namjoon who pulls over and immediately parks the car.  Jungkook’s cackles slowly turn into loud sobs.  Shaking his body uncontrollably.

“HE CAN’T SMELL ANYTHING!  HE COULDN’T SMELL ME EVEN IF HE WANTED TO! HE CAN’T SMELL ANYTHING!” he repeats and screams as he continues to sob uncontrollably.

Namjoon reaches and grabs onto Jungkook.  He wraps his arms around him and hugs him tightly trying to steady him as his sobs send the alpha into a state of uncontrollable shaking and erratic breathing. 

“WHAT DID I DO JOON?! WHAT DID I DO TO US?! WHAT DID I DO TO TAEHYUNG AND I?!” Jungkook screams as he passes out in Namjoon’s arms.

Chapter Text

Taehyung stands above Yoongi dabbing his chin with antiseptic while the alpha quietly ruminates sitting on the edge of the bed. Taehyung doesn’t even know what to say.  This night has been a complete disaster from beginning to end.  Starting with Jungkook showing up to his house for dinner. To his house!

“He didn’t even apologize,” Taehyung says absentmindedly and out loud.

“Of course, he didn’t.  Prick,” Yoongi says through clenched teeth.

“What is wrong with you anyway? Why would you do that?” Taehyung asks sitting on the bed by Yoongi.

“Because he deserved it that’s why.  Because he can’t do and say every asshole thing he wants to you and just show up here like it never happened.  Because you’re my best friend and I’m never going to let anyone fuck you over.  It’s been like this since we were 4.  Why would it change now?”

Taehyung smiles and rests his head on Yoongi’s shoulder.  “Do you ever think about your soulmate?”

“Nope.  I’ve moved on from all that shit.  I’m ok not having one.  I have you, and Jin. My parents. My sister.  I have all the soulmates I need.  I don’t need someone in my life to validate who I am.  I already know I have people who love me so I could care less about the one who didn’t,” Yoongi snakes an arm around Taehyung and rubs his head.

“She was a fucking idiot.  Imagine rejecting you.  Are you sure she hadn’t had a lobotomy or was a pod person?”

“Who cares about her,” Yoongi waves off.  He holds his chin up, “Still pretty, right?”

Taehyung giggles, “The prettiest.”

“Nah, that’s you. Especially with that blue hair.  Admit you kind of love it,” Yoongi boasts running his fingers through Taehyung’s curls. 

“It’s growing on me, definitely more than when they swung me around in that chair and I first saw it,” Taehyung says laughing shoving Yoongi playfully.  He grows quiet and bites his lip. “Jungkook said it was pretty.”

Yoongi mouth drops, “Excuse me?”

“He said it was pretty. He sort of blurted it out when he first saw me at the door—“

“Are you fucking serious right now? My chin feels like I was hit by Iron Man and you’re talking about how that asshole called you pretty?!”

“I didn’t say he called ME pretty, I said he called my hair pretty.”

“Same thing,” Yoongi answers, annoyed.  “What the fuck?! He really said that?!” Yoongi feels Taehyung nod into his shoulder.

“And you know what else? He trained at the Somerville Boxing Club.”

Yoongi’s eyes widen in shock. “At the fucking Edgerly? How do you know that?!”

“Joon told us tonight.  He’s from Cambridge,” Taehyung says rolling his eyes.

Yoongi snorts, “Why doesn’t that surprise me? But so how did Jungkook end up training in Somerville?”

“Joon said his dad knew the owner. What are the odds?  He trained right across the street from where we went to school. What a coincidence right?”

Coincidence.  Yoongi isn’t so sure anymore.  He looks down at his hands. He rubs them on his thighs, he’s sweating.  Jungkook was right across the street from them.  They could’ve seen him, run into him…

“Why does he hate me so much Yoongs? I swear I never did anything to him for me to deserve all the hate he gives.  He said such mean things Yoongi,” Taehyung sniffles.  “And I know it shouldn’t affect me as much as it does, but it hurts so bad.  It hurts my heart so badly to be told that basically he wishes I were dead.”

Yoongi clenches his jaw and winces in pain.  “That fucking piece of shit.  And you wonder why I did what I did.”

“I really don’t understand why he would even show up here.  He hates me, wishes the worst thing ever on me and then comes for dinner.  Not once apologizing.” Taehyung wipes his eyes.  Why is this making him so emotional? Why is Jungkook affecting him so much? “You’re right you know.  I’m a fucking masochist.  There is no other way to explain why—“ Taehyung sighs, wiping the tears that keep escaping no matter how hard he tries to hold them in.

“Why what?” Yoongi asks.

“Why I was happy to see him tonight.”

Yoongi moves to give Taehyung an incredulous look. “Don’t get me wrong the anger was there but…there was a part of me that was happy to see him.  What the fuck is that right? I mean he’s nothing but horrible to me and I actually missed him,” Taehyung angrily wipes his eyes.  Jungkook does not get to own any of his tears. 

Yoongi thinks back to what Jin had said.  How all of this isn’t normal. How dangerous this soulmate bond can be for some people.  “How are you feeling?” he curiously asks Taehyung.

“Fine,” Taehyung replies. “I still have a cold, still can’t smell anything or taste a fucking thing but I’m fine,” Taehyung shrugs a shoulder, “all things considering.”

“What about the pain in your chest? Is it getting worse?”

Taehyung frowns, “Actually…fuck now that you’re asking me…it’s gone.  I mean I can feel it a bit, but it’s really not as bad as it was before Namjoon came.  I really thought I would have to make a doctor’s appointment.”

Yoongi’s heart sinks.  He felt better because Jungkook was here.  “Your sense of smell has been gone for how long now? Like a year? Well before you started that job, right?”

Taehyung hums an affirmative as he gets up to turn his twinkle lights on.  “Why?”

Yoongi feels sick.  “No reason.” If Taehyung and Jungkook are soulmates there would be no way for Taehyung to have recognized Jungkook’s scent.  But that still doesn’t explain why Jungkook wouldn’t say anything.  Why he wouldn’t point it out.  Then again Jungkook is an asshole.  He probably didn’t want Taehyung as his soulmate and decided to just keep his mouth shut and say nothing since Taehyung didn’t say anything either.  Yoongi runs a frustrated hand through his hair.  None of this makes any sense.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  My chin hurts that’s all.”

“You should go ice that Yoongs.  And I’m not kicking you out.  You can sleep here if you want, but I do want to lie down.  I’m not feeling 100% yet and I’m tired.”

Yoongi gets up from Taehyung’s bed as he goes to lie down.  “Go ahead Tae.  Get some rest.  And I made a promise that I would stop being so overprotective with you.  Sleeping in your room started when you—well you know.  You’re right.  I needed to keep an eye on you.  I’m not going to lie Taehyung.  I needed to make sure—“ Yoongi clears his throat.

‘I needed to make sure you were still breathing through the night,’ he thinks, but he can’t bring himself to say it out loud to Taehyung.

“Anyway, the point is you’re right.  You aren’t a baby.  And you’re ok now.  I’m sleeping in my own room from now on. But if you need me at any point.  Now or in the future, you tell me.  And I’ll be here.  No matter how much you kick me in your sleep,” he chuckles. 

“Thanks Yoongi.  That really means a lot. And for the record…at my worst...when it got really bad and I thought I wasn’t going to wake up in the morning,” Taehyung gulps down tears as he watches Yoongi do the same, “It comforted me to know that I wasn’t alone. That I wouldn’t have died alone.”

Yoongi shuts his eyes tight as if doing so will hold in the tears that are already falling. He stays silent because he knows if he says something the cascade of sobs will unleash. 

Taehyung wipes at his eyes and smiles. “Night Yoongs, love you.”

“Love you too Tae.  Good night,” Yoongi exits Taehyung’s room and goes straight into his own right next door.  He lies down on his bed and tries to steady his breathing.  He closes his eyes and thinks.  He thinks back to when they were kids. 

“There’s no way.  There’s no way Taehyung ever met that alpha.”

But what Taehyung told him starts to eat at him.  Right across the street from their school.  “It’s impossible!” He shakes his head and squeezes his eye shut again.  He was with Taehyung at all moments of the day when they were little.  Attached at the hip.  They walked to school together, walked home together, lived next door to each other.  There wasn’t a moment where Taehyung was without Yoongi and Yoongi was without Taehyung.  He would’ve known if that Alpha had come anywhere near Taehyung.  He would’ve seen it.  He’s positive that never happened.

“This is crazy! We’re just jumping to conclusions. This all has to have a reasonable explanation.”

Yoongi gets under his covers, reaches over and flicks the switch to his lamp.  He closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep…

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

Yoongi paces his room back and forth. He rips off his tie and throws his suit jacket to the side of his room.  He sits in his gaming chair and stares at his bedroom door.  He really can’t understand why his parents won’t let him go out and look for Taehyung as well.  He jumps, startled when the loud boom of thunder erupts outside.  Large pellets of rain start to fall slamming into Yoongi’s bedroom window. 

His lip starts to quiver and his eyes water.  Taehyung is out in this right now alone.  Taehyung is never alone.  Yoongi is always with him and now he’s out in the middle of a storm, upset and crying and Yoongi feels utterly helpless.  And this is a feeling Yoongi doesn’t know how to sit with.  Because feeling helpless with Taehyung has never been a thing.  Yoongi is his best friend, his protector, his brother…even though they aren’t blood related.  That’s how close they are.  Being separated like this had never been an option.

If Taehyung was upset, Yoongi would surely know how to fix it.  How to make him laugh and giggle again.  Turn it around for him.  But this is different.  Everything is so different now.  He looks down at his clothes and starts ripping them off.  He never wants to wear this suit ever again.  Twice is enough…and for the same reasons. 

He looks over at his desk and sees the picture hanging up of him, Taehyung, and Taehyung’s parents on the whale watching boat.  A huge whale photobombed the picture at the exact right time.  He lets out a sob and puts his head in his hands.  He can’t believe they’re gone.  Both of them.  It had been so hard for them all when Ryeo had passed away, but now Han too.  And the fact that no one seems to know how or why the bond reacted this way.  It makes everything that much worse.

Yoongi blames himself for not stopping Taehyung.  Taehyung may be taller, but Yoongi is stronger, tougher than him.  He should have held him down.  Held him tight. Forced him, yelled at him to stay.  Instead, he stood frozen and let him run out of the house. Yoongi looks out of the window and sees the lightning hit dangerously close. Taehyung is out in this.  Yoongi releases another crying sob, his body shaking.

They all should have seen the cracks in Taehyung’s façade.  Especially him.  He was too quiet.  Too within his head.  Yoongi could see it.  He saw the look in his eyes at the funeral home.  He saw it in the cemetery during the funeral where they all watched as Taehyung’s dad was buried next to his mother.  He saw that it was still there when they all went back to Taehyung’s house to eat food and pretend like everything was ok.  But nothing was ok.  His best friend had just buried his father a week after doing the same for his mother.  Everything had gone to shit and was breaking at the seams.

Ryeo’s cancer had progressed quickly and swiftly, destroying her body and then her mind.  In her final days, the cancer spread so thoroughly in her brain that she could no longer recognize her own son and husband.  For months, Yoongi had watched his best friend become a shell of himself as he came to terms with his mother’s inevitable death.  But nothing could prepare Taehyung for the moment when his mother looked in his eyes with zero recognition of who he was.  It broke him in ways no one could have predicted.  He became withdrawn, quiet…except with Yoongi.  Yoongi had been the only one who could still connect and break through to him.

Until Taehyung’s father began to show bizarre symptoms.  He screamed in painful agony.  He complained about his chest feeling constricted and pained.  He said it felt like his heart was literally tearing, breaking apart.  He stopped eating, sleeping.  He would grip his chest screaming Ryeo’s name.

All while Taehyung sat in his room, alone with Yoongi, who tried desperately to hold him tight and let him know he wasn’t alone.  Taehyung would place his hands on his ears loudly reciting quotes and passages from his mother’s favorite book, The Eyes of the Dragon. Yoongi had held him, rocked him, as Taehyung’s father continued to scream in pain.

Jin, poor Jin, who was grieving his sister and had only just buried her a week ago, looked for doctors, specialists, priests.  Anybody who could help his brother-in-law or at least be able to tell them what was happening.

And then just as suddenly as the screams had started, they stopped.  Yoongi and Taehyung were in Taehyung’s bedroom when everything had gone eerily quiet.  They both made their way to Taehyung’s parents’ room where Jin was crying uncontrollably.  Taehyung’s father lay in bed.  Yoongi remembers he looked unrecognizable.  He looked so weak.  So very different to the Han who was constantly taking them places and playing video games with them. He looked on death’s door.

Yoongi shivers at the memory, wiping his eyes and nose.  “Where are you, Taehyung?!”

He turns to hear a knock at his bedroom door. He bolts out of his chair and then stands frozen.

“Yoongs?”

Yoongi’s legs somehow move, and he swings the door open.  Taehyung stands soaking wet, sobbing. “Y--Your parents let me in.  P—Please.  W—Will you h—hold me?” Yoongi takes hold of Taehyung pulling him into his room slamming the door shut, hugging him tightly.  He hugs him like he’s never hugged anyone in his life.  He squeezes tightly, afraid that if he were to let go Taehyung might be next.  He might be the next one in his family to…

“Where were you?! What—you can’t ever do that again Taehyung! Please don’t ever leave like that again.  I couldn’t breathe without you! You’re my best friend and I forbid you from ever leaving me ever again!” Yoongi screams as he continues to protectively hold Taehyung.  Taehyung is limp in his arms, shivering, and sobbing.

“I—I just needed a break.  I needed to get a—away from e—every—everyone.  I—I’m s—sorry Yoongs,” cries Taehyung.

“Don’t apologize idiot.  But you don’t get to do that alone.  I will always be there to help you. You can’t just disappear! What if something happened to you! And when it’s dark! You can’t be alone like that!”

Taehyung mumbles into Yoongi’s chest, “I wasn’t alone.”

Yoongi frowns and pulls back slightly looking down at Taehyung. “What do you mean you weren’t alone?” He gets a better look at Taehyung now.  His eyes and face are red, swollen, and puffy. He’s still wearing his funeral clothes, but he’s wearing a large oversized black hoodie that he’s never seen before.

“What are you wearing? That’s not yours,” Yoongi points out, “Where did you get that?”

“I t—told you,” Taehyung says sniffling. “I wasn’t alone.  The boy at the park gave it to me.”

Yoongi pulls back even more, frowning. “What boy at the park?”

“I was at Glen Park.  There was a boy there. He tried to get me to come home.  He even offered to walk me back, but I didn’t want to come back here Yoongi…not yet.  So he stayed and kept me company.  He was nice to me.  He gave me his hoodie because he didn’t want me to get sick in the rain.”

“Who was he? What was his name?”

Taehyung shrugs. “I don’t know.  He didn’t tell me.  He told me that I had to be strong.  That he didn’t have any parents anymore either. He held my hand and let me cry.” Taehyung starts to sob again.  Yoongi pulls him in again close to his chest as Taehyung starts to recite passages from his mother’s book.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Yoongi bolts up in bed, gasping for air.  He claws at his throat trying to take in breaths.  He looks around, eyes wide.  He remembers.  How could he have forgotten that day.  That memory.  It was so long ago, so traumatic that he had pushed it aside…until now.  Because he doesn’t need to know that boy’s name.  He already knows who it is.  And that wasn’t just a dream.  That was a memory.  A memory of when Taehyung met Jungkook when they were only 12.

“We’re all fucked,” he chokes out, chest heaving up and down, heart racing.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook sits on Namjoon’s couch in a daze.  Eyes vacant not focusing on anything in particular, staring at the wall, body limp from exhaustion. Namjoon looks at him worried.  He’s never seen Jungkook cry like that. He’s never seen Jungkook actually cry at all in front of him or anyone.  It’s really not something he does.  He’s always so guarded, reserved with his emotions.  Jungkook is the kind of person who sees himself crying as a weakness.  And weakness isn’t anything Jungkook can afford to show anyone.

“Jungkook…why don’t you go and lie in my bed.  It’s late and you should try to get some sleep.”

“He couldn’t smell me,” he repeats.  Namjoon sighs.  He’s been repeating that same sentence nonstop since they left Taehyung’s house.  The amount of hate Jungkook gave life to thinking Taehyung had made some offensive transgression towards him when the reality was something else completely.  A twist of fate.  Something they never even thought could be possible. 

Namjoon gently lifts Jungkook up, “Come on buddy, you’re all fucking muscle man.  You have to help me out here.” Jungkook looks up at Namjoon catching his eyes.  Namjoon hates what he sees reflected back.  Empty, vacant, distant eyes. 

“What did I do Joon? I broke this right? I did this?” Jungkook asks.  Jungkook is a fighter.  A brawler.  But in this moment all Namjoon sees is that same scared little boy they first met at the group home.

“Come on Jungkook, let’s get you to bed.”

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

Jungkook throws fist after fist connecting with unwavering, frightening accuracy.  “I told you, just because you’re bigger doesn’t mean shit!” he screams into the larger boy’s face as Jungkook straddles him, knuckles bloody from the hits.

He’s suddenly yanked off by his collar and flung to the side of the room, hitting the wall hard.  He grimaces and looks over at his foster father who is helping the beaten boy up.

“You again Jungkook?! What the fuck?!”

“Me?! He started it.  He sucker punched me and started to kick me when I was down.  Fucking coward! He may be bigger than me, but I showed him what happens when you sucker punch someone,” Jungkook rubs at his shoulder where he hit the wall.

“Shut the fuck up Jungkook!  I don’t want to hear any more of your lies! This is why nobody fucking wants you!”

Jungkook glares at his foster guardian.  He already knows no one wants him.  No one has wanted him for a long time.  If ever.  He doesn’t need to be told what he already knows.

“You’re going back,” the man says looking over the beaten boy’s face. “I’m taking you back right now.”

Jungkook’s heart rate starts to rise.  He can taste the bile in the back of his throat.  He can’t go back there.  Anywhere but there. He doesn’t think he’ll make it out of there alive if he does.

“I can’t go back there.  I won’t go back there! Look, just let me leave.  Tell them I ran away.  It won’t tell anyone.  But—I can’t go back to that group home.”

The man let’s out a loud laugh. “And what? You think you’re going to be able to take care of yourself? You’re 12. How exactly are you going to survive on the street?”

Jungkook stands up, holding his head up high, “Same way I’ve always done.  Alone.  I can defend myself.  Take care of myself.”

“You’ll die,” the man says shrugging, with not an ounce of empathy or care in his voice.

“I’ll die if you put me back in that group home.  Jack will make sure of it,” Jungkook replies, eyes pleading.

The man scoffs, “Then you should have played nice here.  Get your shit together.  We’re leaving.”

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

“Look who it is Jungkook Jeon.  What a surprise.  Actually, not really.  I knew it was a matter of time before you ended up back here.  Worthless piece of shit.  Were you like this with your parents? Is this why they didn’t want you,” Jack says laughing.  The laugh sending chills down Jungkook’s spine.

Jack, the main caregiver and case manager at the group home.  Care giver. Jungkook has to laugh at that. Jack gives a lot, but it’s never care.  It’s torment, insults, and abuse.  And broken ribs. And a bruised jaw. And countless black eyes that Jungkook has had to lie and say was him.  All him.  Injuries sustained from the countless fights he gets himself into.  Only the teachers and the doctors have no clue the fights are with a grown adult who is supposed to offer care, not torture.

“What? Got nothing to say for yourself?” Jack says landing a hard smack to the back of Jungkook’s head knocking him over.  Jungkook’s knees hit the wood floor hard, and he turns and sneers at the man. “Careful. You just came back.  You don’t want to be put in solitary so soon, do you?” Jungkook’s eyes widen in fear as his body begins to shake. He puts his head down and shuts his eyes tightly. 

Solitary.  Or the makeshift torture shed Jack and his other psycho friends at the group home fashioned to “discipline” their worst trouble cases.  A place Jungkook knows all too well.  A place where he spent so many days in the last time he started to slowly lose his sanity and hallucinate.  He’d rather kill himself then be placed in there ever again. 

“Now, it looks like you came right at perfect time.  Everyone is in the dining hall having dinner,” Jack pulls him up by the collar and shoves him towards the hallway.  “Remember Jungkook behave, or you don’t get to eat. And a growing young boy like yourself needs nourishment,” Jack teases and laughs as he shoves Jungkook down the familiar hallway to the dining hall. 

Jungkook looks around and sighs heavily.  He can’t believe he’s back here again.  He has to figure out a way to get out.  Maybe sneak out in the middle of the night. He doesn’t have anywhere to go, but he did steal some money off that foster idiot.  He could try to figure something out.  Jungkook is suddenly brought back to reality by a smiling Jack who is holding a plate out to him.  “Here, I got this special for you.”

Jungkook looks down at the plate of food and back up to Jack who has a smirk on his face. “Oh but wait I forgot to add the thing that makes it extra special,” Jack says as he proceeds to spit in the food, then holds it out to Jungkook.  Jungkook looks at it in disgust.

“I’m not hungry.”

Jack’s eyes go red.  “Yes, you are.  And you’re going to eat it.  Whether it be here on this plate or,” Jack turns the plate and lets the food drop to the floor, “or there.”

Jungkook looks down at the floor and then around the dining hall.  Everyone is looking at them.  Everyone too afraid to do anything about it.

“I’m not eating that,” Jungkook sneers.

Jack stays silent, staring back at Jungkook, with a look of hate and contempt.  Jungkook suddenly feels a hard kick to the back of his leg, making his knees buckle. He falls to the floor.  Jack grips the back of Jungkook’s hair and pulls him towards the food on the floor, forcefully shoving his face in it.

“I said eat it,” he growls at Jungkook. 

Jungkook swallows down a sob.  He will not let this man see him cry.  He will NEVER let ANYONE see him cry.  He will never let anyone beat him down, see him as weak.  He takes a deep breath and reaches for the food. He throws it in Jack’s face, who is angrily taken aback.

“You little fucking shit,” he screams kicking Jungkook hard in the stomach.  Jungkook grimaces in pain, but he doesn’t cry.  He holds it in.  He’s suddenly pulled up by his hoodie.

“You want to test me Jungkook.  Let’s see how well you do now,” Jack snarls in Jungkook’s face then drags him down the hall towards the backyard. Jungkook’s heart drops.  His heart starts to beat uncontrollably, breathing becoming erratic. He pulls and struggles against the larger alpha’s grip.

“NOT THERE! I’M NOT GOING IN THERE! PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT THERE!” Jungkook pleads, cries falling on deaf ears.

Jack swings open the shed door and throws Jungkook in.  He slams the doors shut and deadbolts it on the outside.

“Let’s see if a couple of days in there won’t teach you some manners!”

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

Jungkook sits silently in the corner of the room staring down at the floor.  He puts his hoodie over his head and wraps his arms around himself.  He watches as everyone scurries around him in anticipation.

He gets up and moves towards the back area outside.  He passes the shed and shudders quickly making his way through without looking at it.  He sits on a bench and looks up.  One of those deceivingly beautiful winter days in Boston.  Where it’s super sunny and you step outside and it’s beyond freezing.  Jungkook snuggles into his hoodie and closes his eyes. 

Apparently, some hotshot rich businessman is coming to tour the facility.  Why, Jungkook couldn’t venture a guess.  Who would want to walk into this place willingly?  Everyone was told to be on their best behavior…or else.  Jungkook can feel that shed’s presence looming over head from afar. 

He’ll stay out here.  He’ll stay out here alone and stay out of trouble.  He won’t do anything that would make him seen and put him back in solitary.

“Hi!”

Jungkook looks up startled to see a tall, thin young boy staring back at him.

He smiles, huge dimples forming. “Do you live here too? They wanted everyone in there together.  My dad wants to meet you all.”

Jungkook frowns. “I don’t care.  I’m not going in there.  I’m staying here.”

“But it’s freezing out here.  And we brought things for all of you.  Don’t you want to see?”

“I could give two fucks what you brought us.  Get out of my face,” Jungkook sneers, getting up to move further down the yard. 

“Wait,” the boy says gently reaching out and grabbing Jungkook.  Instinct kicks in and without thinking Jungkook pulls back, turns and punches the boy right in the eye.  The boy falls back on the ground, stunned.

“Don’t touch me! I don’t like anyone putting their hands on me!” screams Jungkook.

“Joon?!”

Jungkook looks up to see a man dressed in an expensive suit running towards the boy on the floor who is holding up a hand pressed to his eye. Jungkook sees Jack come up behind him, eyes menacing. Jungkook’s gulps.

“What did you do Jungkook?” asks Jack, putting on his most controlled mask.

Jungkook freezes.  His voice lost, he stands and stares unable to say a word.

“It was my fault, dad.  I grabbed him and he punched me.  All instinct, I think. You should be a boxer,” the boy says chuckling to Jungkook. “That was a hard right hook.”

Jungkook looks in awe.  He didn’t get him in trouble.  He didn’t throw him under the bus. This…is new.

“Namjoon, son, are you sure you’re ok?”

“I’m fine dad.  I should learn to keep my hands to myself,” he says as he stands up, dusting off his pants. “It wasn’t his fault.  I’m fine.” Those dimples are back and Jungkook doesn’t know if this kid is stupid or if he’s just playing as if he’s nice. “I’m Namjoon by the way.  And this is my dad.”

Namjoon and his father smile warmly at Jungkook and extend their hands out.  Jungkook looks at them not knowing what he should do.

“Please forgive me for this,” Jack says making his way towards them.  “Jungkook here is one of our more…trouble cases.  I’ll make sure he gets the appropriate punishment for hurting your son.” Jack turns to glare at Jungkook.

“It’s alright.  No harm done,” Namjoon’s father looks at his son and laughs, “well almost no harm done.  But Joon is fine.  No need to punish anyone. Do you think we might be able to continue the tour now?”

“Yes of course!” Jack points for everyone to head back inside.  He then turns to Jungkook, a loud growl escaping his lips. “Are you trying to ruin this on purpose you useless piece of shit.  We’ll see later on when you’re back in there, your good old friend the shed,” Jack points to the shed and smirks, “that’ll teach you to behave.”

Jungkook’s body goes numb and cold. 

“Are you coming? My dad is waiting,” Namjoon says as he comes back outside.  Jack startles and quickly makes his way inside.

“I don’t like that guy.  There’s something creepy about him.  He gives off bad vibes,” Namjoon says turning to look at Jungkook.

“You have no idea,” Jungkook mumbles. 

“What happened to your face?” Namjoon asks pointing to Jungkook’s jaw. “Wow, that’s bad.  Is it broken?”

Jungkook quickly shakes his head. “No, I—I got into a fight.”

Namjoon frowns. “Oh…what’s the shed?”

Jungkook eyes snap to Namjoon’s. “The shed?”

“I heard him.  Threatening you.  Telling you he was going to put you in the shed.  Does—does he hurt you?”

Jungkook is speechless.  He stands frozen unable to move.  What does he say here? If he tells this kid yes, what will it matter? They won’t believe him.  No one ever does. And then things will just get worse for him. 

“No.” Jungkook responds not making eye contact with Namjoon.

“You know you can tell me.  I know you don’t know me, but you can tell me if he does.  It’s the reason my dad is here.  There’s been some rumors about this place.  My dad is here to talk to the boys.  To see what’s really going on.”

Jungkook frowns and looks over Namjoon’s shoulder to look at the door to see if they are alone.

“He won’t know that you said anything,” Namjoon pushes.

He’s not sure why Namjoon and his father are here. He doesn’t know if what Namjoon is saying is true, but he’s not about to get himself involved in anything that will draw attention to himself.  Put an even bigger bullseye on himself.  Namjoon seems like he’s nice, but everyone seems nice at first.  Then they turn.  Always looking out for themselves or needing something in return. Jungkook doesn’t trust anyone.  He’s not about to start now.

“He doesn’t hurt me. I’m fine. You should go back to your dad.”

Namjoon sighs.  “Ok.  But…if you change your mind and want to talk. We’ll be here all day.” Jungkook watches Namjoon go back inside.  He throws his hoodie over his head again and sits back down on the bench. 

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

“You want me to testify against him? In court?” Jungkook stands baffled at the request Namjoon’s father is making of him.  It’s been a month since the Kim family have adopted and taken him in.  He still can’t figure out why.  The investigation into the group home resulted in the closure and relocation of all the boys.  And the most surprising thing to Jungkook being the arrest and charges that were brought against Jack and some of the other case managers. 

“You just have to tell them what happened.  The abuse you suffered at his hands.  The beatings, the emotional and verbal abuse…the shed.  We need to talk about your experience in that shed,” Namjoon’s father, Joong-ki explains.

Jungkook shakes his head.  “I don’t want to do that.  I don’t want to sit up there and say anything.  What if he gets out.  And I said all that stuff.  What if he comes and finds me.  What happens when I leave here, and he comes and finds me?!”

Joong-ki shakes his head, “No, that won’t happen.  And Jungkook I need you to understand something.  You won’t be leaving here.  You live here now.  You’re part of our family.  We adopted you.  You aren’t going anywhere.”

Jungkook scoffs, “Right. Sure.  And I’m supposed to believe that?  Do you know how many times I’ve heard that? How many foster homes I’ve been in where people say the same thing to only toss me out and back to that group home when they find a younger better kid.  Everyone always tires of me at some point.  You’ll be no different.”

“That’s not true, Jungkook.  I promise you it isn’t.  You’re here to stay.  We want you to stay…forever.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.  And I’m not testifying.  I’m not going up there.” Jungkook is not delusional.  He knows how quickly the tides turn.  One second, he’s here living in this huge house and the next he could be out on the street.  On the street where he could easily run into that psycho Jack.  Self-preservation is all Jungkook knows.  It’s not going to change just because these people have suddenly given him a bed to sleep in.

“Are we done here? I want to go to the boxing gym.”

Joong-ki knew it would be difficult to try to convince Jungkook to serve as a witness, as a first-hand account of what went on in that dreadful place.  According to the other children’s accounts, Jungkook was the one who seemed to be the most on the receiving end of that depraved man’s wrath.  But Joong-ki understands Jungkook’s trepidation and attitude about this whole thing.  The trauma and abuse this boy suffered is unimaginable.  And it’s manifested into a child who is angry and untrusting of anyone.

He’s lucky he was able to connect him with Robert at the boxing club.  Namjoon was right.  Jungkook has a mean right hook and his new therapist suggested he channel his anger into more positive ways.  Jungkook seems to have taken to boxing. Being the only place where he can tone down his abrasive nature.

“Yes, you can go. But don’t come home too late.  Do you want a ride—“

“I don’t need anything. I can take the bus.” Jungkook replies coldly, leaving without saying goodbye.

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

“Where have you been?! Mom and dad were worried sick about you Jungkook!”

Jungkook rolls his eyes as Namjoon follows him into the bathroom.  Jungkook takes his towel and rubs and dries his hair. “I don’t need any of you to worry about me.  I can take care of myself.  I have,” Jungkook says glaring at Namjoon.

“I really wish you would stop saying that Jungkook.  You’re part of our family now.  Of course, we would worry! Look at it outside!  It’s a freaking monsoon out there! And dad went to look for you at the boxing club.  You weren’t there. Where were you?”

“Not that it’s ANY of your business, but I was at that park near the club.”

“In this weather?! Are you crazy! And look at you! Out in a park, in this weather, in nothing but a T-shirt!”

“How old are you, Namjoon? Cause you act like an old man,” huffs Jungkook.  “And I had my hoodie.  I just—“ Jungkook hesitates, “I gave it to someone.”

Namjoon raises a brow, “You gave it to someone? What do you mean? Who? You mean there was someone else crazy enough to be at the park in a thunderstorm?”

Jungkook breaks out into a small smile, “There was.  And I gave him my hoodie. He needed it more than I did.  He—I don’t know he was…different.  He was…nice.”

Namjoon’s mouth drops. “So you gave a complete stranger your hoodie because according to you, you Jungkook, who literally hates EVERYONE, thought he was different and…nice?! Seriously?!”

“Fuck off Namjoon.  I don’t have to explain myself to you.  Now get out! I want to take a warm shower!” Jungkook pushes Namjoon out of the bathroom, slamming the door in his face.

“This kid!”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook wakes up, groggy and disoriented.  He looks around and suddenly remembers where he is and most importantly why he’s in Namjoon’s room.  He covers his eyes with his hand and let’s go.  The tears fall easily.  Something that is so incredibly new to Jungkook.  He’s always been able to hold them in, but not now.   They fall without control and Jungkook doesn’t know how to stop.  He’s been so wrong about so many things. About Taehyung.

He built a whole world of hate and resentment around who he thought Taehyung was.  What he believed Taehyung was doing—or not doing—to him that let it blind him to any rational thinking.  He let his anger take over.  And it wasn’t until this moment that he realized who he’s become.  He’s Jack.  He’s a version of the man who tortured and insulted him and abused him.  He’s turning into him.  He treated Taehyung horribly all because he was angry, and it made him feel good in that moment to do it.  To his own soulmate.  Taehyung who really had no idea what was happening.

Jungkook hates himself.  To be honest, he always has.  But his self-loathing is on a whole other level at the moment.  He can’t stand to be in his own skin right now.  He buries his face into Namjoon’s pillow and screams.  He screams and he screams until his throat is raw.

He looks up and stares at the bedroom door when he hears the doorbell. He buries himself in Namjoon’s bed again.  More than likely it’s Hobi and Jimin.  He can hear muffled voices through the door but makes no effort to move.

“Jungkook,” Namjoon knocks and enters not waiting for Jungkook to answer, “I’m going to need you to throw some clothes on and come out here.  Now.”

“Fuck off Joon, seriously.  Just leave me alone—“

“NOW JUNGKOOK,” Namjoon firmly states.  “Get up.  Right now and come out to the living room.  I’m giving you 5 minutes and then I’m dragging you out.” Namjoon exits, slamming the door. 

Jungkook groans and gets up throwing on his clothes and leaving the room quickly.

He walks down the hall and halts in his steps when he sees Yoongi sitting in Namjoon’s living room.  He blinks once, twice, thrice, making sure he isn’t hallucinating it.

“What—what the fuck are you doing here?”

Yoongi clenches his fists and steadies his breathing.  He is here for Taehyung.  Only for Taehyung.  For him he’s willing to endure this piece of shit alpha.

“Nice to see you too asshole,” Yoongi replies.

Jungkook isn’t the Jungkook from last night who was caught off guard by this alpha.  He growls at Yoongi and moves quickly towards him to only be stopped by an annoyed and frustrated Namjoon.

“Give it a rest already.  Jungkook, haven’t you done enough? Yoongi said he’s here because he has something important to talk to us about.  About the soulmate bond.”

Jungkook’s eyes go wide, and he looks at Yoongi.

“Yeah, I know.  I know you and Taehyung are soulmates.”

Jungkook frowns, “Does he—“

“No, not at all.  He can’t smell you.  He really can’t smell anything.  My poor Tae,” Yoongi laments.

‘My Tae.’ Jungkook clenches his jaw.

“But clearly you knew.  And you kept it quiet. Why? Are you rejecting him?” Yoongi hates being here.  He hates looking at this alpha and being anywhere in his vicinity, but he needs to know what he plans on doing with this soul mate bond because for Taehyung and Jungkook, it’s not as easy as rejecting your soulmate and moving on.  It can mean a matter of life and death.  And Yoongi has already almost lost Taehyung.  He won’t let it happen again.

“Am I rejecting him? And that’s your busi—“

“It is.  It’s my business.  He’s my best friend.  He—,” Yoongi shakes his head, “you couldn’t possibly understand what Tae means to me.  How much I love him.  And his health is my top priority.  You hate him.  You would want nothing more if he fucked off and died—“

Jungkook gasps. “I never said that!”

“But you did.  You told him you hoped he never existed.  That he stopped existing.  And to Taehyung…God you really have no idea, do you?  What a comment like that would do to him? But I need to know Jungkook, what we’re going to do here because if you really hate him as much as you’ve let on, we need to find a way where he will still be ok.  Because I could honestly care two shits about what happens to you.  But not Tae. Not him.”

Namjoon sits down next to Yoongi, “Now wait a second Yoongi.  You know what’s happening with their bond, don’t you? Why Jungkook gets so sick when he’s not with Taehyung.”

Yoongi looks nervously down at the floor, “Tae was sick too.  Really bad.”

Jungkook leans forward, “What? He was sick too? He—“

“Just because he can’t smell you, doesn’t know about you two… he’s still your soulmate.  He still feels the bond.  He—he’s been drawn to you for a while now.”

Jungkook feels something stir in his heart he has never felt before…hope. “He felt a pull to me? Even though he can’t distinguish my scent? Even—fuck even after I treated him the way I did?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi answers angrily.  “He did. Imagine that.  You treat him like shit and yet he still holds out hope you would at some point be nice to him.”

Jungkook cringes.

“What is happening with their bond Yoongi? Why do they both get so sick when their bond is threatened? Because that’s not normal.  I’ve never seen that before.”

“I—I can’t tell you exactly.  It’s just that what I know and how we found out about this…it’s things that are so personal to Taehyung.  I can’t do that to him and tell you.  It’s really not my place.  What you need to know is that your bond is different.  It’s like a super bond.  You’ll feel it both physically and emotionally if the bond suffers in some way.” Yoongi sadly looks away. 

“Why are you telling me this? Why are you here?”

“I told you.  I need to know if and when you’re rejecting him.  I heard of a specialist that might be able to help once you reject him.  To help with the pain and what might come after.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath, “What might come after?”

Yoongi stays quiet and just nods. 

Namjoon looks at Jungkook who looks lost in thought.  He doesn’t really know if Yoongi being here did anything to answer their questions and concerns.  In fact, it has only made him more curious about this bond between them. But now he’s worried because he knows that Jungkook more than likely will want to have nothing to do with Taehyung.  In which case, by the sounds of it, they will both suffer,

“I’m not rejecting him.”

“What?” Namjoon looks at Jungkook and he is shocked. 

“Jungkook,” Yoongi purses his lips and stops to really think about his words, “Taehyung isn’t someone you play with.  You have no idea the things he’s been through.  The things he has to deal with on a daily basis.  He can’t have you derailing his progress.  His health.  He won’t survive it.  Look I know you hate him, but please I’m begging you whatever you think he did to you, whatever the reason you have to hate him please don’t use this to make yourself feel good.  This—please Jungkook this will kill him,” Yoongi shakes as he holds back tears. 

Namjoon and Jungkook exchange worried looks. 

“I thought he was ignoring me,” Jungkook tells Yoongi. “I thought he was ignoring the soulmate bond.  I assumed the worst about him.  And everything I thought was wrong. I’ve lived my life expecting the worst and to be honest always receiving the worst.  I expected nothing less from him.  When I first smelled his scent…I was—fuck,” Jungkook thinks back to his session with Dr. Monahan.  The session about vulnerability. “I was happy.  I was happy ok.  I was happy that I had finally found that person.”

Yoongi’s jaw drops.

“But then he didn’t react.  He didn’t say anything and I thought—“

“You thought he was silently rejecting you?” Yoongi asks. Jungkook nods.  “So why wouldn’t you say something to him?! I don’t fucking get it. Instead of asking him about it you drew your own conclusions and decided to just treat him the worst you could.  The things you said to him—“

“I know! I know I was disgusting! I fucking get it! Fuck!” Jungkook pulls at his hair and closes his eyes.  “I fucked up.  I—I ruined us.  I ruined anything we could’ve ever had because I did what I always do.  I let my anger take over.  I really don’t know any other way of being.”

“So what now? Yoongi, what do you suggest Jungkook does? Will Taehyung hear him out? If Jungkook tells him the truth—”

“No one is telling Taehyung anything,” Jungkook says.

“What do you mean? You said you weren’t rejecting him,” Yoongi asks confused.

“I’m not.  But I want an opportunity to try and fix this.  Not just because of the soulmate bond, but because I—I owe it to him after everything I did and said to him, to give this a real shot.  I don’t want this to just be about the soulmate bond.  I don’t want him to forgive me because of it.  I want him to do it because he really feels it.  And I want the opportunity to do the same.  I spent months, months upon months hating him.  I want to get to know him without all this bond bullshit.  And then I’ll tell him everything.”

Yoongi looks unconvinced.  He doesn’t want to give Jungkook this much power over the situation.  He frankly doesn’t trust the alpha and he can’t guarantee he won’t betray Taehyung and use this all to hurt him. 

“And what, you want me to lie to him? To betray my own best friend?”

“I want you to give us a chance to fix what I royally fucked up.  You came here for a reason.  So let me try to fix this,” Jungkook responds, determination in his voice.

Namjoon turns to Jungkook and looks into his eyes, “Jungkook…I love you…but I can’t help be very concerned about all of this and what your proposing.  Mostly because I know you.  This has never been you.  To set aside your pride, your anger for someone.  To try to implement change for yourself, let alone for someone else.  Why do you think you can do this now when you never showed any interest in wanting this before? I’m sorry Jungkook but this seems so out of character for you.  Suddenly now you’re ready to be better? Why?”

“He’s different…he’s…nice,” Jungkook responds.  Namjoon frowns…why does that seem so familiar?

“I know this may seem insincere coming from me.  Because just yesterday I was cursing out Taehyung still thinking he had offended me in some catastrophic way.  But I won’t deny that I felt the pull from the moment that intoxicating smell of freshly baked apple pie hit me.  It knocked me on my knees and yes, I was a fucking asshole.  The absolute worst, and no matter what I thought about him, I still felt that pull.  And maybe it is just the bond, but…maybe I don’t want it to be JUST about that.  Maybe this is my chance to have something be different for once.”

“He smells like apple pie?” Yoongi asks, smiling.

Jungkook nods. “Like freshly baked just out of the oven apple pie.”

Yoongi grins from ear to ear. “He would smell like the sweetest most comforting thing ever.”

Jungkook sighs.  No matter how much he is willing to try, there is a question of this alpha and his relationship with Taehyung. He knows he should bring it up, ask him straight to his face what his intentions are with his soulmate, but he doesn’t want to start anything right now.  If he is serious about the “stages of change” he needs to focus on definitive action steps.

“Yoongi…will he talk to me? Do you think he would give me a chance to apologize.  To really apologize,” Jungkook puts his hand in his hands, “Fuck why does this shit have to be so hard! I really don’t know how to do any of this! Apologies and talking to someone without being a complete asshole.  I’m fucking doomed! I can’t even be nice to him and he’s family!” Jungkook points to Namjoon who tears up. “What? What’s with the tears?”

“You said family.  You’ve never said that before, like that,” Namjoon tearfully says.

Jungkook rolls his eyes, “Oh fuck me, see! I hate shows of emotions like that.  I’m not good at it! How am I supposed to make this work with Taehyung?”

“Are you always this socially awkward?” Yoongi asks raising an eyebrow. “Look, if you’re serious about this, then fine I’ll let you and him work on falling for each other in a normal way.  Forget about the bond for now.  But you need to watch your words before you say them.  Make sure you stop making assumptions about him before getting to know him.  And apologize above everything else first.  He was really upset that you were in our house and never once apologized to him.”

‘Our house,’ Jungkook huffs giving Yoongi side eye.

“What? I’m trying to help you! Don’t give me attitude.  Because at the first sign that this is just a ploy to hurt Taehyung…I swear Jungkook I won’t hesitate to kill you.  I told you already I could less about you.  I’m doing this for Taehyung and for him alone. And Namjoon, I would keep Jungkook on the straight and narrow with this.  If he fucks up here it directly impacts you and Jin.  You think Jin is going to want to have anything to do with you if your brother fucks over Taehyung again.

Namjoon hadn’t thought about that.  “Does Jin know you’re here?”

Yoongi shakes his head, the guilt eating him up inside.

Namjoon glares at Jungkook, “You better get your shit together!”

Jungkook gulps.  Can he do this?

“He’s home today. He’s still not feeling great,” Yoongi says getting up and walking towards the front door.  “Maybe you could go apologize to him today.  Try to make amends.”

“He really was sick with a cold huh?”

Yoongi takes a deep breath trying to control his anger, “Yeah Jungkook he was, is.  So maybe take it easy on him if you plan on doing this today. Geez, I really don’t trust you.  I can’t believe I’m allowing you to do this. Leave it to Taehyung to have a super bond.  Because everything else in his life hasn’t been complicated and fucked up enough.” Yoongi looks deep into Jungkook’s eyes, “Fix this Jungkook,” he states as he leaves the apartment.

“Jungkook—”

“I know Joon.  I know.  All I can do is try.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung cuddles in his swinging chair, with his graphic novel in his lap.  Why he would choose a story about an incurable disease is beyond him. “Yoongi, is right I am 100% a fucking masochist.” He gets up, and moves into the kitchen, graphic novel in hand, blanket around his shoulders.  He pulls out a large tub of vanilla ice cream and settles on the couch in the living room this time. He takes a large spoonful of ice cream savoring the taste and moaning.  “I should really join a gym, with the way I eat this shit,” he hums as he opens his book again. 

He is suddenly interrupted by a soft knock at the front door.  He groans.  Just when the story was really picking up. He gets up and walks to the door looking out the side window to see who it is. He blinks and takes a quick step back from the window.  He moves away from it and stands to the side, biting his lip.

“I know you’re home,” the voice says, slightly muffled through the door.  “I know you can hear me too. Your sense of smell is gone you aren’t hard of hearing!”

“This asshole…” Taehyung walks to the front door and swings it open. “Jungkook, what the fuck do you want again? You’re a boxer. If you wanted your ass beat, you could just step into the ring.  No need to come here and provoke Yoongi.” Taehyung stands at the door clutching his book to his chest blocking the alpha’s entry.

“Um…hi?” Jungkook says closing his eyes and internally cringing at his awkwardness.

“Hi? As in maybe hi?”

“No, I mean hi. Hi.”

Taehyung has been standing here for less than 5 minutes and he’s already over this. “What can I help you with Jungkook?”

Jungkook holds out a bag placing it in Taehyung’s face. “I brought you soup! For your sickness.”

Taehyung frowns, “My sickness? What—”

“Your cold.  I brought soup for your cold,” Jungkook says holding out the bag to Taehyung.

“Cold? Yesterday I was lying in bed with my nonexistent alpha spreading my legs for him and today I have a cold?” Taehyung coldly asks.

Jungkook sighs. “Can I come in? Please? And you can have your soup?”

“I hate soup.  Besides I have—fuck! My ice cream! It’s probably melted because I’ve been standing here with you!” Taehyung turns around and runs over to his tub of ice cream.  He places the cover on it and takes it back to the freezer.  He turns around to see Jungkook still standing outside staring at him.

“You can come in,” Taehyung says rolling his eyes.

Jungkook hesitantly enters the house and looks around. “Yoongi’s at work, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I know,” Jungkook absentmindedly replies.

“You know? How do you know,” Taehyung asks eyebrows scrunched up.

“No—I mean—” Jungkook looks down at Taehyung’s hands, “You like to read huh? It seems you always have a book with you,” he says pointing at the object clutched in Taehyung’s hands.

“Yeah, but this isn’t a book, it’s a graphic novel.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

Taehyung frowns. “No.  Graphic novels use images to do the vast majority of the storytelling, kind of like comic books and well books, are books.  With words.”

“Oh,” Jungkook nods, “What’s that one you’re reading?”

“It’s called the Black Hole.  But I don’t think I’m going to keep reading it after all,” Taehyung takes the novel and tosses it on the coffee table.

“Why not?”

“Because the topic is kind of triggering for me.  I really don’t know what I was thinking picking it.”

“What’s the topic?” Jungkook asks curiously.

“Incurable diseases,” Taehyung replies wrapping the blanket even tighter around himself. Jungkook frowns.

“Why would that be triggering for—”

“Jungkook, is there a reason for your visit? Is this about what happened last night with Yoongs because I can speak for him and say—”

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook blurts out.  He had thought about how he was going to do this, start a civil conversation with Taehyung where he would apologize and start to make amends for his past behaviors.  He had run it in his head countless times on his drive here.  This was not how he had planned it. 

“What exactly are you sorry for Jungkook?” Taehyung stands back, arms crossed.  This is exactly what he’s been waiting for.  This is what he’s been wanting to hear for over 6 months now.  And a simple ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t going to cut it for him.  “Tell me Jungkook.  What is it you’re sorry for?”

Jungkook supposes this is the moment.  The very important moment where his flight or fight response always kicks in.  Does he stay and work on this like he had preached to both Namjoon and Yoongi he would, or will he turn into a coward, say something stupid and mean, and turn on his heels running away from here. He inhales in and exhales out.

“For everything.  For all of it.  For the insults and the accusations.  For treating you like shit every chance I got.  For not taking you and what you do as a career seriously.  For not letting you do your job and making it impossible for you to have a breath of calm every time you were in the gym with me.  For basically projecting all my fucked up shit onto you when the truth is you’ve been nothing but helpful with me.  And I’m the one who has been completely standoffish.”

“An asshole,” Taehyung mumbles.

“Yes, a complete asshole,” Jungkook repeats, with a slight smile.  “And I’m sorry.  Nothing excuses my behavior, and I hope you can try to accept my apology and we can try to make amends.”

Taehyung looks at Jungkook suspiciously.  “Have you ever watched V?”

Jungkook looks at Taehyung confused. “V?”

“Yeah, the old 80’s tv show about lizard people who try to take over the world.”

“Lizard people?” Jungkook asks amused.

“Yeah,” Taehyung narrows his eyes and walks up to Jungkook, dangerously close to his face, “are you really a lizard person? Because the Jungkook I know hates me and wouldn’t give me the time of day.  Definitely would’ve told me to fuck off already. Never mind show up at my house apologizing to me, talking about making amends.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not a lizard person Princess. And---I—don’t hate you.  I—fuck I just—I’m sorry.  I really am Taehyung.  I really don’t know what else to say.”

Princess. But Taehyung notices it’s the first time he doesn’t say it bitingly or with malice behind it.  It sounded almost…nice. 

“I also wanted to ask you something…I want you to come back to the gym.  I want you to come back to work and help me properly this time.”

Something in Taehyung’s heart sinks.  Could this actually be the reason for all of this? “You want me to come work for you again?”

Jungkook looks down at his feet, avoiding Taehyung strong gaze. “Yes.”

“Is that what this is? All the nice words, the apology? Was it all just a ploy to get me to come back to work?”

Jungkook’s eyes immediately snap up to meet Taehyung’s. “No! Of course not! All of that was true.  I was trying to be sincere.  I—no, that’s not why I said those things.  I meant all of that.  I really did.”

Taehyung bites his lip and stares at Jungkook.  “You want me to come back? To work? With you?”

Jungkook gives him a small nod. Jungkook catches a framed picture in his field of vision.  It’s of Taehyung and Yoongi. 

 “I’m just hoping that we could please try to keep the environment professional,” Jungkook requests clearing his throat.

“Professional?”

“Yes.  Please don’t bring your boyfriend to the gym when we’re working.  It’s all I ask.”

“My boyfriend? There you go again. What boyfriend? You keep saying alpha, boyfriend.  I don’t have one.”

“Yoongi.  I mean Yoongi.”

“Yoongi?! He’s my best friend!”

“Ok?”

“Ok? You act like I’m fucking my best friend!”

“Aren’t you?”

Taehyung raises his hand up in frustration. “You’re doing it again! You’re being an asshole!”

“Am I? I—I don’t mean to be…I didn’t mean for that to come out the way it did,” Jungkook quickly tries to explain.  He really doesn’t know why that alpha gets under his skin the way he does.  Why he’s so—so—jealous!  “It’s just that…are you two fucking?”

“No! Of course not! He’s my best friend! Do you have sex with your best friend?!”

“I don’t have a best friend,” Jungkook replies embarrassed.

“Oh. Well, I don’t have sex with Yoongi.” Taehyung sticks his tongue out in disgust, “Yuck! He’s like my brother! Disgusting!”

“But—really? You aren’t with him? You really are just friends?”

“Yes Jungkook. People can be friends without having sex.  Me and Yoongi are just friends. Dear lord, I’m going to have to wash my ears out and my fucking brain to erase that fucking imagery.”

Jungkook giggles. Taehyung raises an eyebrow, making Jungkook clear his throat and straighten his expression.

“So…will you come back to work?” Jungkook asks hopeful.

Taehyung exhales out, “I’m sorry Jungkook, but I don’t think I can.” Jungkook’s shoulder’s slump and he inhales the smell of burning pie.

“Why not?”

“Because I think it’s better if we try to leave things as civil as possible.  As they are now.  You apologized.  And for that I’m thankful.  But the truth is…I don’t trust you.”

Jungkook feels his stomach somersault.  He feels nauseous. 

“I can’t guarantee that you apologize today, but then tomorrow you turn back into the old Jungkook.  And I can’t take anymore of that Jungkook.  He’s too hurtful for me to be around anymore.  Jungkook, your words really hurt me.  Especially the last ones.  I keep replaying them in my head and they hurt so bad.  I accept your apology, but…I won’t be coming back to work with you.”

Jungkook nods, eyes watering.  He takes in a breath and holds out his hand for Taehyung.  “I understand.  I do. I can’t even blame you.  I can’t hold it against you.  I never gave you a reason to trust me. I get it.” Taehyung bites his lip and shakes Jungkook’s hand. He goes to pull back, but Jungkook holds onto to it looking down at their intertwined hands.  He doesn’t know why but he caresses Taehyung’s hand with his thumb and for a split second, this all seems so familiar.  Like they’ve done this before.  He get’s an odd sense of…

“Whoa, I just got déjà vu there,” Taehyung says pulling his hand back.  Jungkook can smell Taehyung’s scent spiking, the smell of apple pie clouding his senses.

“Um, Jungkook, you should go.  Yoongi will be home soon so…”

“Right, yeah. Ok,” Jungkook apprehensively walks to the door.  He doesn’t want to leave.  He wants to stay here and drown in Taehyung’s scent and maybe ask him more about that graphic novel he was reading or that show he was talking about. 

“Thanks for coming by Jungkook.  I really appreciate you apologizing and being honest with me…finally. I—I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you around Princess.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Hey,” Yoongi says, entering his room to find Taehyung snuggled in his bed reading.

“Hey. It took you long enough to come home.  I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Where’s Jin?”

“Out with Namjoon.”

“Ah, that’s progressing quickly huh? Did you eat dinner?”

Taehyung pulls Yoongi into a hug, cuddling him. “Yes.”

“Something other than vanilla ice cream I hope.”

“Yes.  Actually, I will have you know that I had soup tonight.”

“Hell has to have frozen over.” Yoongi takes the graphic novel out of Taehyung’s hands and tosses it to the side.  “I thought I told you not to read this one.  It’ll just settle in your brain and make you think yourself crazy. Stop reading it!”

Taehyung reaches back for it, “I can’t! It’s so good! And I’m a glutton for punishment you know that. In more ways than one,” Taehyung mumbles.

“What do you mean?”

“Jungkook was here today.” Yoongi tenses in Taehyung’s arms. 

“What? Why? What did he want?”

Taehyung unwraps his arms from around Yoongi changing positions wrapping Yoongi’s arms around him this time.  “He wanted to apologize for everything he’s done and said to me.”

Yoongi hugs him tightly, “And did he?”

“He did. And then he asked me to come back and work with him again.”

Yoongi closes his eyes. “And? What did you say?”

“Duh, of course I said no.” Yoongi pulls back to get a better look at Taehyung.

“You said no?!”

“Well, yeah, I mean, I didn’t think it was good for me.  What, don’t tell me you’re disappointed?! You hate him more than anyone.  I thought you would be proud of me.”

Yoongi thought so too, but knowing what he knows, he actually thinks working with Jungkook might be good for them.  For their relationship. Relationship?! Yoongi has surely lost his mind. “I am proud.  You stood up for yourself, made yourself respected, valued.”

Taehyung nods and Yoongi notices how far away he appears to be. Thoughts seem to be abundant in the omega’s mind tonight.

“I pride myself in knowing you better than anyone in this world Tae, so I know something is up with you and this decision.  What is it?”

“I don’t know Yoongi.  I know I shouldn’t go back there.  I don’t trust him.  I’m afraid he’ll call me names again. But at the same time, and what I’m about to say do not repeat to anyone and do not hold it against me in any way,” Taehyung says. Yoongi nods. “A part of me really wants to go back.  And when he came to see me today…I was happy.  I was actually so happy to see him again and it made me fucking stupid and giddy that he was nice to me today.  And he called me Princess and he wasn’t mean about it.  It sounded nice,” Taehyung says blushing.

Yoongi doesn’t know if he should cry of sadness at knowing its Jungkook that has his best friend so happy or cry of happiness at just having his best friend be this happy.  “But you’ve definitely decided not to go back?”

“Yes…no…fuck, I don’t know! I’m so confused.  I really don’t know if I made the right decision.”

“What does your heart tell you to do?”

Taehyung scoffs, “No one should ever listen to their heart for life changing decisions.  Look how well that worked out for my dad.”

“Tae, I get why you think that way, but you can’t ignore what it says to you instead.  Just because you’re afraid.  Imagine all the amazing things you might be closing yourself off to, because you want to punish your heart.  Keep it locked up.  I get being logical, rational, but sometimes you need to be stupidly irrational, and spontaneous, and crazy.  And the heart is the one that leads those type of stories.  You’re never one to choose boring mundane books and stories.  So why choose it for your own life? Don’t you think you’ve been through enough to limit yourself.  If your heart is telling you to do something, I say listen to it for once.”

Taehyung stares at Yoongi dumbstruck and in disbelief.  “Did you really just tell me to listen to my heart and go back to working with Jungkook?”

“Fuck my life, I think I did.” Taehyung giggles and cuddles in Yoongi’s arms.

“What are you going to do?” Yoongi asks.

“I’m going to sleep here tonight and then in the morning I’ll make a decision.  But for right now wanna read about 1970s Seattle and some really creepy black holes?”

“You’re an idiot,” Yoongi says hugging Taehyung happily.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Namjoon and Jungkook are back in the middle of the ring doing small punching exercises trying to slowly ease the alpha back into a routine.  Jungkook grimaces with pain as he grips his shoulder.  He started doing the exercises Taehyung had given him at home again last night, and his shoulder is really sore today.

“Maybe we should start looking for a new physical ther—”

The heavy gym doors slam shut startling both Jungkook and Namjoon.  Jungkook rubs at his eyes making sure he isn’t seeing things.  He rushes out of the ring and towards the heavy doors.

“Taehyung? What—what are you doing here?”

“Hi.  We haven’t met before.  I’m your new physical therapist.  Taehyung Kim,” Taehyung holds out his hand.

“Taehyung?” Jungkook repeats, then turns to look at Namjoon who looks equally puzzled.

“Shake my hand Jungkook.  We’re strangers, just meeting each other for the first time.  You know, starting fresh. Starting new.  No baggage.  Leaving the past in the past, stop leaving me hanging here with my hand out here like an idiot.” Taehyung stops and takes a breath. Jungkook turns back to look at Namjoon again who has a wide dimply smile on his face.

“Maybe you didn’t hear me the first time.  Hello, I’m Taehyung Kim and I’m your new physical therapist.”

Jungkook smiles, “Hi, I’m Jungkook.  Jeon. Jungkook.”

“You sure?” chuckles Taehyung.

“Positive,” responds Jungkook as he shakes Taehyung’s hand. “Nice to meet you Taehyung,” he says as the whole gym is engulfed in the scent of freshly baked apple pies. Jungkook can’t help but smile.

“Nice to meet you too. So…should we get started?”

Chapter Text

Taehyung sits on a stool to the side looking up occasionally watching Jungkook speed train with Namjoon.  He looks down at the smoothie by his feet and smiles.  Jungkook bought him a smoothie for breakfast.  It’s not like he can taste it or anything, but it’s the thought that counts.  It’s the first time Jungkook has brought anything for him and it’s making Taehyung giddy. 

“Here Princess.  I know you avoid breakfast…and lunch, hell, any meal because of the whole taste thing, but you need to still put something in your stomach.”

Jungkook had handed him the smoothie and walked off to start his training leaving Taehyung speechless and smiling like an idiot. It’s been two weeks since Jungkook had shown up to Taehyung’s house and apologized and although Taehyung was skeptical the change would last, so far, it’s been a complete positive shift. 

Jungkook has been nice.  They’ve been able to complete sessions and he’s even let Taehyung work on the mobility exercises with him instead of just doing them by himself at his house as he was doing before.

“Ow! Fuck! Namjoon, I need to stop,” Jungkook cries out, face contorted into painful grimaces. Taehyung looks and drops his book on the stool rushing over. 

“You’re overextending again.  Here,” Taehyung points at a spot on Jungkook’s shoulder blade. 

“Again?” Jungkook looks into the mirror and stares at Taehyung with narrowed eyes.  “I fixed it.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “No, you didn’t.  I’ve been watching you.  You’re doing it again.  It’s the frightened cat position.  Don’t be stubborn Jungkook.  Listen to what I’m telling you.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath in…apple pie.  He looks at Taehyung through the large, mirrored wall and nods.

“Can I touch you?” Taehyung asks.  Even though Jungkook seems to be making an effort to measure his words with Taehyung and trying to be a nicer overall person with him, Taehyung is still cautious.  He’s cautious in everything he does with Jungkook.  Especially during their sessions.  Taehyung has a sneaking suspicion that all this anger might be trauma related.

Taehyung remembers back to the psychology class he took during college as part of his premed requirements. The trauma chapter being the one that most caught his eye because he’s noticed that he himself seems to display some trauma reactions around grief and his illness. 

He’s seen Jungkook’s reactions when he’s touched unexpectedly.  He flinches and retreats into himself.  He always seems so hyper vigilant about everything around him like he’s always on alert.  Always waiting.  It seems Jungkook’s always waiting to be attacked so he’s ready to attack first. Taehyung thinks his fight stance, that of a frightened animal, has a lot to do with that.  It seems to be a stance he’s used to taking.  And old habits die hard.

Jungkook nods again, remaining quiet. Taehyung starts to gently press down on certain areas of Jungkook’s shoulder. “Sorry, my hands are cold.  They’re always so cold,” Taehyung says to Jungkook through the mirror.

Jungkook watches as Taehyung carefully massages his shoulder.  He’s concentrating so hard he’s doing that thing he does where he sticks his tongue out a bit, eyebrows furrowed.  Jungkook thinks he looks like a little puppy.  Adorable. “They really are always so cold. Are you sure YOU aren’t the lizard person?” teases Jungkook.

“Ha ha very funny,” Taehyung replies giggling.

Jungkook smiles back. A smile that is immediately replaced by a painful grimace, “Ow!”

Taehyung eyebrows shoot up. “There? It hurts there?” Jungkook nods painfully. “I told you.  It’s because of how you’re standing.  You need to change your posture Jungkook or it’s going to be a lost repetitive cause.  Hang on,” Taehyung turns and runs off to his bag.  Jungkook stares after him, tilting his head.  He’s wearing those pants again.  Those pants that really should be banned because what they do to Taehyung’s…

“He’s got a really nice ass huh,” asks Jimin, smirking.

“The nicest…” Jungkook replies absentmindedly. “Wait…what?! No! What—no I didn’t—fuck you Jimin!  I didn’t—why are you here anyway? Go back to the office and do your fucking job! Book me a fight!”

“Jungkook! Be nice! Don’t talk to Jimin like that. Hi Jimin,” Taehyung greets, smiling and entering the ring again. 

“Hi Tae,” Jimin replies sticking his tongue out at Jungkook.

“He can’t book you a fight until you’re healthy.  You know that.  And we’re working on that.  Don’t get frustrated, ok? I’ll help you,” Taehyung says giving Jungkook a reassuring smile.  Jungkook closes his eyes and inhales.  He doesn’t care what Taehyung says right now.  He’ll agree to whatever he wants if he can forever surround himself in his scent.

“I’m going to tape you up, tightly,” Taehyung shows Jungkook the athletic tape he has in his hands. “It will keep this part here,” Taehyung signals, “from moving so much while giving the other parts that need the mobility full range of motion.  We’ll ice it tonight too.” Taehyung gives Jungkook a wide smile through the mirror and Jungkook thinks he may have just melted into a puddle on the floor. How could he have denied himself the opportunity to see this Taehyung for so long?

“You’re staying all day?” asks Jungkook, hopeful.

“I am.  But—“ Taehyung looks at Jungkook, “if you don’t want me here for that long, it’s ok.  I’ll leave you some printouts of some exercises I need you to—“

Panic settles into Jungkook’s heart, “No! I mean…those exercises are a little confusing to do on my own.  It’s better to have you help me.  I—yeah.  Can you stay?”

Taehyung smiles that wide smile again and nods, focusing back on Jungkook’s shoulder.

“What book are you reading this time?” Jungkook asks staring at the book on the stool where Taehyung was sitting. “Did you finish Black Hole?”

“I did.  Yoongi and I finished it all the other night,” Taehyung replies, placing the tape tightly on Jungkook.

“Yoongi…” Jungkook repeats. “Right.”

Taehyung stops and looks up at the mirror.  “We finished after NOT having sex.  Because remember? I don’t have sex with my best friend…you’re doing it again Jungkook,” Taehyung says getting back to work.

Jungkook takes in Taehyung’s scent and relaxes. “Sorry.  I didn’t mean to imply anything.”

“Oh god, the number of times I’ve said sex and Yoongi in the same sentence.  Eck, I threw up in my mouth.  Literally. I actually taste bile Jungkook. Thanks.  I’m going to start charging you extra for the inevitable therapy sessions I’m going to need from the amount of times I’ve said Yoongi and sex.”

Jungkook chuckles, “Maybe mine can give you a discount.”

Taehyung stops and looks up.  “You see a therapist?”

Jungkook looks away from the mirror and looks down.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.  Jin’s been trying to get me to go see a therapist since I was a kid.”

“It helps. But why does Jin think you need a therapist?”

Taehyung snorts, “A lot of things.  But therapy just isn’t for me,” Jungkook watches Taehyung shrug. “They stuck me in this group on my unit,” Taehyung shakes his head. “Some therapy support group and all it did was just make me even sicker to be honest.  A bunch of ca—“ Taehyung seems to realize he’s rambling on and saying too much out loud and especially in front of Jungkook because Jungkook can see him tense and purse his lips.

“Anyway…therapy isn’t for me,” he gently pats Jungkook on the shoulder, “you’re all set.  The tape should help.  I’m going to go sit back over there.  Just watch your posture.” Taehyung quickly gets out of the ring and scurries off to his stool in the corner. 

Jungkook frowns as he watches Taehyung hurry off.  Unit? What did Taehyung mean by unit? And why would Jin be pushing him to see a therapist since he was a kid.  Jungkook knows he’s on some sort of medication that has his senses ruined, but what are the medications actually for?

“Hey ready to get back to it?” asks Namjoon looking over Jungkook’s shoulder.

“Um, yeah,” Jungkook answers deep in thought.

“What’s wrong? We can stop if you need to.  Give it a rest.”

“No, it’s not that…has Jin ever mentioned why Taehyung is on medication?”

“No.  It’s never come up.  And I’m not about to ask.  It’s really not any of my business.  Maybe it’s vitamins or suppressants or something. I don’t know.”

“Have you ever heard of suppressants or vitamins giving you heavy side effects like the ones he has Namjoon?”

“Well, no, but—“

“Joon there’s something else,” Jungkook says worriedly.  “Do you remember a little over a year ago when I got really sick? I couldn’t get out of bed and you, and your parents called a doctor and he basically told you that I was fine.  There was nothing physically or medically wrong with me?”

Namjoon nods.

“I felt it, Namjoon.  I know what the doctor said, but I am telling you…it felt like I was dying.  It felt…like I was feeling a week ago when I hadn’t seen Taehyung.  And something Yoongi said has been eating at me.”

Namjoon glances at Taehyung who seems immersed in a book.  “What?”

“He said that we would be affected if the bond was threatened.  And Taehyung…he was sick at some point.  What if—what if that’s what I was feeling.  What if he,” Jungkook gulps.

“Jungkook, listen, your mind is making assumptions again.  You don’t know if Taehyung is just taking some vitamins and that’s all it is.  That time when you were feeling sick you were overworking yourself.  Over exercising.  Boxing nonstop without a break.  You’re looking too much into things.  He seems pretty healthy now so just focus on your task. Amending your relationship with him. Ok?”

Jungkook looks at Namjoon unconvinced.  He knows what he felt, and it wasn’t overwork or tiredness.  This was the same thing that happened recently.  He knows that now.  But he knows he can’t ask Taehyung about it.  He can’t start to ask personal questions like that when it’s only been two weeks since he started this. 

He glances at Taehyung who is giggling over his book.  Jungkook can’t help but smile. 

“He’s really pretty, isn’t he?”

“The prettiest,” Jungkook says without thinking. “JIMIN! FUCK OFF!”

Jimin laughs and winks at Jungkook.

“Ok, ok that’s enough out of both of you.  Come on Jungkook let’s get back to work.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“What time are you guys coming over tonight?” Taehyung asks as he takes the ice off of Jungkook’s shoulder.

Jungkook is holding and reading the book jacket to Taehyung’s latest new read. “Coming over? Where? Taehyung, I think you have an unhealthy obsession with death,” Jungkook stares rereading the book cover, ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper.’

“What do you mean,” Taehyung asks packing up his things in his bag. Namjoon, Hobi, and Jimin have all gone home.  Taehyung and Jungkook stayed to work on mobility exercises for his shoulder. They just finished and are packing it up to go home as well.

“You were reading that book about the kid with the sick mom who was dying. And before that you were reading about the cancer patient who wants the bed by the window. It’s fucking weird,” Jungkook replies skimming through Taehyung’s book.

“I meant what do you mean coming where? You’re coming over for dinner tonight, aren’t you?”

Jungkook gives Taehyung a confused look.  “No. Namjoon didn’t say anything to me about coming with him.  I thought it was just a dinner for you three.”

Taehyung creases his eyebrows. “It didn’t stop you from showing up uninvited the last time,” Taehyung says playfully punching Jungkook on the arm. 

Jungkook punches him back making Taehyung giggle. “I don’t think Jin would want me there.  He definitely doesn’t like me.  He doesn’t seem as forgiving a person as you are.”

“He’s just a little overprotective when it comes to his nephew, that’s all.  And I don’t know call me crazy, but you’re actually kind of fun to be around Jungkook…when you’re not acting like an absolute turd.”

Jungkook playfully punches Taehyung gently in the stomach.  “Turd huh,” he punches him again sending Taehyung into uncontrollable giggles. 

“Stop that! I’m super ticklish!”

“Whatever you say Princess,” Jungkook replies smiling.

“So? Are you going to come for dinner?”

“I don’t know Taehyung—“

Taehyung rolls his eyes and huffs.  “Come on.  It’s not like you have other plans.  You literally have no friends.”

“Wow, fuck you, Taehyung! I can’t believe the disrespect!  I’m trying to be nice to you and it’s you who’s turned the tables.”

Taehyung laughs, “Am I lying? Come on, you know you want to. Or do you really hate seeing my face that much you would turn down a free home cooked meal, hmm?”

If Jungkook is being honest he doesn’t hate Taehyung’s face at all.  Not even a little bit.  And Jungkook is slowly realizing it’s not just his scent that is able to set him at ease, it’s just Taehyung himself.  He’s silly, and goofy, and kind of dorky.  But he makes Jungkook laugh, and he makes coming to the gym lately worthwhile and interesting.  When Jungkook was finally able to put aside all the anger and resentment he felt for Taehyung he was able to see him for who he really is.  An insanely fun person to be around.

And yes, Jungkook still has such a hard time reeling in his temper, his attitude, but it’s getting easier and easier to control with Taehyung.  Now if only that extended to everyone else.

“Alright, I’ll come to dinner tonight.  But if your uncle kills me, you better take full responsibility.”

“He’s all bite.  Yoongi on the other hand, he could kill you.  And lucky for you he’s working tonight.”

“And NOT having sex with you,” teases Jungkook.

“Seriously, again?! Gross!  Forget it! I rescind the invitation asshole! Go eat grass tonight for all I care.” Taehyung sticks his tongue out at Jungkook as they both walk out together into the cold New England air.

“I’ll see you later Princess,” Jungkook yells to a smiling Taehyung as he gets into his car.

He really doesn’t hate his face at all.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook straightens his clothes and grumbles uncomfortably.  He wants to make a good impression on Jin. Jungkook knows how hard this is going to be since he’s already made the worst possible first impression on him.  But he’s trying with Taehyung and if he wants this to work out, he needs Jin to like him. 

“Nobody likes me! What makes me think Jin will?!”

Namjoon turns and straightens Jungkook’s jacket.  “That’s not true.  Lots of people like you.  Most importantly Taehyung.  If he was able to forgive all the shit you did to him, give Jin time.  He will too.  My soulmate is amazing.  He’s the most perfect actually.  He’s not one to hold grudges and hate people.”

“What makes you think he’s the most perfect? Taehyung actually forgave me and is being so nice to me.  That makes HIM the most perfect,” Jungkook swats Namjoon’s hand away.

“Are you really going to start a fight with me over who’s soulmate is better?” Namjoon asks with a raised brow.

“No. Because it’s not a competition.  Taehyung is better. It’s just a fucking fact.  Fuck! Why did I wear these fucking clothes?!”

“Who the hell are you?” Namjoon is beyond amused at this turn of events.  A Jungkook who cares about what people think about him.  Who argues about who’s soulmate is better.  Is dressed up! Taehyung is changing Jungkook in ways he could never have imagined, and he doesn’t think Jungkook even really sees it.

“Do you have feelings for Taehyung?” Namjoon asks, making Jungkook choke on air. 

“What?! Why—I—“

“Because the Jungkook I know would never put this much effort into someone.  And before you say it’s the bond, you’re going above and beyond Jungkook.  Look at yourself.  And I’ve seen you in the gym lately.  I’ve never seen you smile so much.  Laugh as much as you have. You seem…happy.”

Jungkook exhales.  He has been…happy.  He’s been less stressed.  He’s been actually enjoying his training again. There’s just something about Taehyung.  There’s no pretense with him.  He is who he is and doesn’t apologize for it.  And he’s interesting.  And he likes to be around him.  A lot.  And he’s not blind. Taehyung is real easy on the eyes.  He’s…beautiful in fact.  He spends more time thinking about him than he does anything else. 

“Holy fuck! I think I have feelings for him!” Jungkook puts his head in his hands and groans.  “What the fuck is this? I’ve never had feelings for anyone! Not anyone! It’s not something I do.”

“Of course not.  He’s your soulmate, your Omega,” Namjoon smiles.

“My Omega?” Jungkook stops and stares at Namjoon.  “Fuck.  He is, isn’t he? He’s my omega.  My soulmate.  What do I do? What—what if he doesn’t want me?”

“You keep doing what you’ve been doing.  Being a better alpha for him.  I’ve never seen this side of you Jungkook. He’s bringing out the best in you.  Let it happen.  And just focus on showing him that side.  He’ll fall in no time,” Namjoon says smiling widely. “Just like the rest of us did.”

The door opens abruptly startling both Namjoon and Jungkook.

“Are you two planning on just standing here all night or eventually coming in?” Jin asks raised brow, glaring down at Jungkook. 

“How much of that did you hear,” Jungkook asks nervously.

“Enough. You really are my nephew’s soulmate.”  

Jungkook’s mouth opens, and he instantly looks at Namjoon who looks just as shocked. 

“I told you. I heard enough.  I also heard everything my Joonie said as well.  Is it true? You’re trying to be better for him?”

Jungkook rapidly nods.  “I am.  I’m trying anyway.”

“I still don’t like you Jungkook.  You were awful to my nephew.  You’re lucky he’s so nice.  I’m less forgiving,” Jin responds glaring at Jungkook.

“I told you Taehyung is a better soulmate,” Jungkook mumbles to Namjoon. Jin tries to hold back a smile and turns back into the house instead. “Come in already.”

“Fuck my life,” Jungkook groans as he enters close behind Namjoon.

“Hi! Whoa! Jungkook look at you! What times the interview at,” Taehyung jokes slightly pushing Jungkook and laughing.  If anyone else had made a crack like that at Jungkook they would be nursing a busted face right now.  Instead, Jungkook blushes and laughs with Taehyung.

“Think I’ll get the job?” Jungkook plays along back.

“Hmm, it screams, ‘I’m trying too hard, but I know I am and still going to do it because I look good.’ So…no. They’ll gloss over your application and think you’re a pretentious asshole.”

Namjoon watches Jungkook pout.  He actually pouted at Taehyung.  Namjoon shakes his head and snorts.

“Just kidding Jungkook.  I’d hire you.  Although this whole thing,” Taehyung points to Jungkook from head to toe, “it’s not really you.  Why are you wearing that anyway.  Who are you trying to impress?” Jin looks at Taehyung and shoots him a look. This brat.  If Jungkook only knew that it took Taehyung over an hour to pick something to wear. And Jin is guessing it wasn’t to impress him and Namjoon. 

Jungkook avoids the heavy gaze he can feel from Namjoon, “No one. I just thought I’d try something different.”

“Oh, well in that case, you look great! But I mean you could wear a brown paper bag on your head and still look good,” Taehyung shrugs.

“You look pretty!” Jungkook blurts out. Namjoon holds back a laugh as Jin nudges him to behave. Jungkook turns bright red and internally kicks himself.  Why is he so socially inept?

“Thank you,” Taehyung replies and now it’s his turn to blush.  Jin rolls his eyes at this very cringey situation. These two idiots do know they’re adults and not love-struck teenagers.

“Wow, the secondhand embarrassment I’m experiencing right now,” Namjoon says looking at Jungkook, “think we can eat now?”

“Fuck you Joon,” Jungkook says leaning in. Taehyung giggles making Jungkook turn and flash him an amused smile. 

“Yes, we can eat now.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung laughs at Namjoon’s attempt at a joke and turns to catch Jungkook staring at him again.  Jungkook quickly looks down at his plate making Taehyung flush pink.  This is the one of several times Taehyung has found Jungkook looking at him.  It makes Taehyung’s stomach flutter.  He doesn’t know how Jungkook can make him feel all tingly inside. In fact, he’s amazed, because he never thought it possible to feel anything for Jungkook other than contempt or hate.  At least that’s what it was in the beginning.  Although he can’t really say he ever actually hated Jungkook.  He just really disliked his behaviors which were almost always negative and geared towards him.  But this new and improved Jungkook, the one who buys him smoothies, laughs with him instead of at him, is attentive and listens to Taehyung ramble on about the most nonsensical things…this Jungkook is making him feel things he never thought he would.

He's had boyfriends before, but they never felt like this.  They felt more like place holders.  What he’s feeling for Jungkook is different and it’s both exciting him and terrifying him. 

“Tae, want to help me with dessert?”

“Sure, Jin.” Taehyung gets up and starts clearing the table.  Namjoon leans into Jungkook, “Ask him if he needs help,” he says nudging Jungkook.

“What for? There’s two of them,” Jungkook replies looking at Namjoon and promptly getting kicked under the table.

“Asshole, it’s the nice thing to do and you can win some brownie points with Jin.”

Jungkook turns to Taehyung who comes to take his plate, “I can help you,” Jungkook says handing the plate to Taehyung. Taehyung flashes him a warm smile and Jungkook is pretty sure his heart just exploded.

“That’s ok. You’re the guest.  We got this.  Besides you get to clean all the dishes later. How else are you going to pay us back for the dinner,” Taehyung teases. Jungkook laughs loudly as if it was the funniest thing he had ever heard.  Namjoon can’t wait to tell his parents about this.  Jungkook is gone for Taehyung.

“Here you go! Hope you like it!”

Jungkook looks down and stares at the plate in front of him.  “Apple pie?” Jungkook laughs.

“And here I thought the whole time the smell was coming from…OW! WHAT THE FUCK NAMJOON?” Jungkook reaches out and punches Namjoon hard on the arm.

Jin and Taehyung look at each other confused.

“Of course, it smelled like apple pie because Jin was baking apple pies, not because of any other reason Jungkook,” Namjoon says repeating the motion to Jungkook’s leg under the table.  Jungkook realizes what he was going to say and looks at Taehyung who is staring at him, eyebrows raised.

“Namjoon told me apple pies are your favorite.  That you can’t get enough of them,” Jin says. Namjoon snorts.

Jungkook gives him a glare and looks at Jin, “Um, yeah.  They are…now they are. My favorite,” he replies looking at Taehyung.

“Oh, Tae, wait,” Jin walks to the freezer and takes out a tub of vanilla ice cream and places some in a bowl for Taehyung. “Have at it.”

Taehyung claps excitedly and takes a large spoonful.  He closes his eyes and swallows, letting out a loud moan.  Jungkook freezes and he feels a bolt that goes straight down and settles in his crotch.  He pulls at his pants and shifts uncomfortably.  He wonders what it would be like to be the one to elicit that reaction from Taehyung.  To make him moan like that.  To be on the receiving end of that moan.

Taehyung opens his eyes to see everyone staring at him.  Jungkook flushed red.  “Sorry,” he apologizes, embarrassed. “It’s just that vanilla ice cream, its literally the only thing I can actually taste.  And it doesn’t matter how much of it I eat it still makes me see rainbows and sunshine.  I guess that’ll happen if you can’t taste anything else.  The one thing you can becomes beyond exciting.” 

“Vanilla ice cream? Really?” asks Jungkook.  “Why? What’s so important about vanilla ice cream.  It’s like the most boring ice cream flavor ever.”

“I’m not sure.  I brought it up to my specialist and he had no explanation for it.  I’m not going to question it though.  I will happily eat it until I can’t taste that too. Or until my ass gets so big, I don’t fit into anything.”

“Your ass is perfect,” Jungkook exclaims.  He face palms as Jin’s eyes widen.  Taehyung lets out a giggle. 

“Please forgive my brother.  He seems to have verbal diarrhea today,” he leans into Jungkook and whispers, “get your fucking shit together! Stop blurting out the first thing that comes into your mind.”

“Sorry Taehyung.”

“It’s ok.”

“I still don’t know how you’re able to handle not smelling and not tasting anything,” Namjoon says biting into his pie.

“I guess it’s been so long, I’ve become accustomed to it,” Taehyung says as he eats another spoonful of ice scream.

“What are you taking the pills for?”

“Jungkook!” Namjoon kicks him hard under the table.

“Ow! What?” Jungkook glares at Namjoon but stops in his tracks when he suddenly smells burnt pie. He turns his attention back to Taehyung who looks visibly uncomfortable.

“Tae is just on—“ Jin hopes he can say something, anything that won’t close his nephew off.  Taehyung’s illness remains a subject that Taehyung would rather forget about and pretend it never happened and Jin is guessing talking about it and having it brought up like this during dinner is not going to be something positive.  Fucking Jungkook.

Taehyung bites his lip and pushes his bowl to the side.  He really can’t seem to be anything other than this sickness, can he? It feels like there’s not a moment in his life where he’s not reminded of it.  “It’s just maintenance.  That’s all.  I—I think I’m going to go and read for a bit. I’m sure you and Namjoon want to spend some time alone together,” he turns and says to Jin. “Jungkook I’ll see you at work tomorrow. Bye Joon.” He doesn’t make contact with anyone. He gets up from the table making Jungkook panic.

“You’re leaving? To read?” Jungkook asks incredulously.  Right now? He never should have brought up those damn pills, but he’s been curious about what is going on with Taehyung since he had that conversation with Namjoon. He knows what he felt that time and if every instinct in him is correct…whatever Taehyung had was serious.

He watches Taehyung retreat into himself and step away from the table. “Goodnight,” he quickly mumbles before leaving the room. 

“Are you serious Jungkook? I let you in my house again and this is what you decide to do.”

“I’m sorry, Jin.  I didn’t think he would react like that.  I was just curious.”

Jin gets up angrily from the table. “Don’t be.  It’s none of your business Jungkook.  Don’t ask him again.”

“None of my business?! He’s literally my soulmate!  I think I have a right to know if my soulmate is sick,” Jungkook is equally as angry. 

“Yeah, well not this because he’s fine.  He’s not sick anymore so you don’t need to ask.  Don’t bring it up again.  It’s a sore subject for him ok.  It’s hard and complicated and—“ Jin’s eyes fill with sadness, “it’s not anything any of us want to relive again.  He’s fine.  He’s—healthy now.  Let it go.” Jin leaves the table and exits into the kitchen. 

“Jungkook—“

“I know.  I know Joon.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung takes his book and sits in his swinging chair.  He opens it to a random page and starts reading, but his mind wanders.  Does someone’s identity always stay marred like this when the reason is so jarring? Is he always going to be known as the sick patient?  And he knows he’s lucky…for the most part.  There are people who are still dealing with being sick and aside from the annoying side effects he’s healthy again. 

He understands how much this disease has impacted his life.  He’s accepted that it’s just part of it now. It’s a crucial aspect of his life that refuses to be ignored. Jin and Yoongi constantly tell him that his illness doesn’t define him.  But how is he supposed to believe that when it’s so engrained in who he is now. We’re not talking small life details; we’re talking changing the way you have to act around people. Little things, like knowing you have to tell someone that it may happen again, and they need to think long and hard if it’s something they really want to invest time in.   

It impacts the way you live your life and how you see your future because no matter how long you’ve been feeling better, there’s always that thought.  That gnawing voice in the back of your head telling you it’s only a matter of time before it happens again.  And it’s not just him. It’s everyone around him.  It’s the reason Jin and Yoongi are the way they are with him.  Their fear is the same as his.  They’re afraid it’ll happen again, and he was lucky the last time, but would he be able to dodge another bullet if it were to happen again? 

It’s exhausting.  This constant train of thoughts encourages a downward spiral of loneliness, frustration and self-hate. Imagine telling his soulmate that he almost died and “Hey, by the way it could happen again.” They would run the other way.  They should run the other way. How would he even begin to tell his soulmate that they’re stuck with someone you don’t know if you’ll ultimately have a healthy future with. And it would be even worse if…if it was the situation his mother and father were in. He shudders to think that could be possible for him.  What are the odds the universe would play such a cruel trick on him?

“Taehyung? Can I talk to you?”

Taehyung stares at his bedroom door, contemplating.  He really doesn’t want to open his door.  He knows what’s coming.  The apology filled with pity that Jungkook will inevitably give him more than likely forced by Jin to make. He gets up dragging his feet to the door.

“Hi, what’s up,” he tries to sound as upbeat as he can. 

Jungkook sighs. “Don’t do that.  Don’t act like you aren’t pissed at me for asking about the pills,” Jungkook enters his room without invitation and gasps. “Holy shit! You have a whole ass library in your room!”

“That’s just a wall.  It’s not that big.”

“I think I own one book Taehyung.  And I don’t even think I’ve ever read it and I definitely can’t tell you what it is.  This to me, is impressive.” Jungkook walks closer to the wall of books and starts skimming through the titles.  They all scream Taehyung.  A lot of horror novels and a whole lot of Stephen King. He notices the holistic medicine books, but he’s definitely not about to bring those up to Taehyung.

“So what? You’re like a Stephen King super Stan or something?”

Taehyung smiles, “Kind of.  I mean I like horror novels.  Mystery novels.  But I blame that on my mom.”

Jungkook continues to run his eyes over all the books. “Are some of these your moms’?”

“They all are.  Every single one.  I don’t keep my new books here.  I leave those for the bookcase in the living room.  These are the special books.  The ones that I’ve already read and reread.  The ones that belonged to her.”

Jungkook is impressed.  “She likes to read huh? Now I know where you got that trait from,” he says smiling.  He reaches a section of the bookcase, stopping and laughing. He points to the area, “One thing is not like the others. These are not your mom’s.”

Taehyung looks over Jungkook’s shoulder and giggles.  “You are correct Sir.  Those are my dad’s books.  He wasn’t much into reading.  He was in fact very obsessed with football and an avid Liverpool Fc supporter.  My mom HATED sports.  I’m not even sure how when she lived in a city that eats and breathes with its sports teams.”

“My mom always had her face buried in a book.  I remember they would sit on our couch and my mom would be reading a novel.  My dad would just sit and stare at her.  He was stupidly whipped for her.  God, he would call her beautiful like 100 times a day.  He—“ Taehyung gulps and hesitates, “he loved her so much.”

Jungkook can hear the sadness in Taehyung’s voice, but he doesn’t turn around.  He just lets him talk.

“My mom started buying him Liverpool Fc books so that he could sit with her and read too. ‘So you don’t sit and creepily stare at me,’ she had joked.  Only joke was on her because he never stopped staring.  He would read a page and I would catch him stealing glances at her.” Taehyung looks down at the book in his hands and closes his eyes. It’s been so long since he’s talked about his parents like this.

📖 'One of the great things about tales is how fast time may pass when not much of note is happening. Real life is never that way, and it is probably a good thing.'

“Tae?”

Taehyung is pulled from his musings and looks at Jungkook. ‘Tae.’ They’ve gone from the alpha calling him every horrible name in the book to having him call Taehyung by his nickname.

“Huh?”

“I was asking you if you had a favorite book. I see you carry around a book all the time even if you have a new one you’re reading.”

Taehyung smiles and nods.  He takes the book he placed on the chair and shows it to Jungkook. “This one.  This is my favorite.  It was my mom’s too.” He hands it to Jungkook who sees the wear and tear on the book. 

“The Eyes of the Dragon?”

Taehyung nods with a massive smile on his face.  “Stephen King wrote it for his kids.  It’s a fantasy book.  People hated it because it wasn’t his usual horror story like people were used to. He ended up writing Misery right after it.  The hate he received for The Eyes of the Dragon directly inspiring the whole plot of a super-fan who hates how her favorite author’s latest novel is nothing like it should’ve been.”

“My mom adored it.  She read it hundredths of times.  She had this thing where if I was sick with a cold or just not feeling great, she would sit and read excerpts from it to me.  She used to say there was nothing a good book couldn’t cure.” Taehyung looks at the book in Jungkook’s hand and loses his smile.  He takes it back and places it on the shelf in its spot.

“Don’t your parents miss their books? Especially your mom. You have them all here? Doesn’t your mom miss rereading them.  I’m guessing she’s like you.  Reading books over and over again.”

Taehyung bites his lip and takes a deep breath.  “Um…no they don’t miss them.  They actually—“ Taehyung thinks if he shouldn’t just lie.  How much pity could he take from one person, in one day? And especially from Jungkook.  He doesn’t want that especially from him.

“They died.  When I was little.”

Jungkook turns to look at Taehyung who has once again retreated into himself, holding himself, rubbing his hands up and down his arms.

“Oh. I—shit I’m sorry.  I didn’t know. Wait is that why you and Jin are so close? Did he end up raising you?”

Taehyung nods. 

“They both died?” Jungkook looks back and stares at the bookcase.  These aren’t just books to Taehyung.  They’re memories. 

“Yes.  My mom was sick and my dad…yeah.  They both died.”

‘My mom was sick…’

Sick how? Sick like Taehyung was? And was his dad sick too? Is this a genetic thing that runs in his family and does that mean he’s still sick?

“You were you sick like her?” Jungkook can’t help himself.  Verbal diarrhea is what Namjoon had called it earlier and he can’t seem to stop from blurting things out.

“She died of cancer and…I don’t want to talk about my being sick Jungkook.  I’m not anymore and I don’t need to be reminded of it,” Taehyung sits on his bed and looks down at his hands avoiding Jungkook’s heavy gaze.

Jungkook coughs.  The air is heavy with Taehyung’s scent.  Burnt apple pie.  Jungkook scrunches his nose and coughs again.

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung asks getting up suddenly staring and Jungkook.

“Nothing.  It’s fine.”

“Jungkook, want to get out of here?”

Jungkook blinks.  “Out of here?”

“Yeah. Or do you want to third wheel with your brother and his soulmate all night?”

“They left actually. For a walk.”

“Great, do you want to go out and get a drink with me?  Get out of this house.” Taehyung glances at the framed photo he has of his parents on his dresser.  “I need to get out of this house Jungkook.  You can either come with me or not.  Either way I’m leaving.”

“I’ll come! I will.  I want to get a drink with you.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

It’s a Thursday night and the small dive bar is packed with locals. 

The only place in the area that isn’t overrun by college students and instead still holds all the original townies from the area.  It sounds cliché; you want to go where people know your name. It would be funny and ironic if that didn’t come from Cheers, a show set in Boston, about a bar and the locals that frequent it, but this bar in Somerville down the street from where Taehyung and Yoongi grew up, knows his name and it’s comfort.  And that’s what Taehyung needs tonight.  Comfort.

“Tae! Here on a fucking Thursday? Shit, who died?” the bartender, Eddie, an older man in his 60’s jokes.

“Your sense of humor,” replies Taehyung laughing.  He sits on a stool at the bar and motions for Jungkook to join him.

“No Yoongi tonight?”

“Nah, he’s working.”

“Cranberry juice?” asks Eddie.

“No, a beer please.”

“No can-do Tae.  Last time you came in here day drinking with Yoongi, I had Jin calling me, yelling at me about how I irresponsibly sold you alcohol knowing you aren’t supposed to drink on your meds.  I can’t Tae. Sorry.”

“You‘re shitting me, right? Bet they would give me a beer at Cassie’s.”

“The fuck! Now you don’t even get a glass of water from me for that comment!”

Taehyung chuckles.

“I can’t drink either Tae.  I’m training so we can just have a soda,” Jungkook speaks up making Taehyung frown.

“I know you’re training.  One beer isn’t going to hurt you.  Believe me.  Just like one beer isn’t going to hurt me.  Come on Eddie. If Tom were here, he’d serve me.”

“Of course he would, him and his crush for you would give you anything you want.”

Jungkook tenses at the comment.

“Oh please, give me a break.  Come on Eddie…please,” Taehyung pouts.

“Fuck. Alright kid. Watch that pout of his, it’s fucking deadly,” Eddie turns to say to Jungkook before he walks off to get two beers.  “Here ya go.  And we haven’t met before. I’m Eddie.  I own this shithole.  And you are?”

“This is Jungkook.  He’s a boxer. He trained with John over at the boxing club when he was little.”

“No fucking way! Well, any friend of Tae’s is a friend of mine and my bar.  You’re welcome here whenever you want.”

Jungkook gives a small smile and nods.

“So, this is your local bar?” Jungkook asks taking sip of his beer.  He savors it and smiles. It’s been so long since he had a drink.  Namjoon would kill him if he found out he was drinking while he was training.

“Yeah.  Yoongi and I used to live down the street.  When we got older, even though we didn’t live in Somerville anymore, we still found ourselves coming here every weekend.”

“Oh.  Who’s Tom?” Jungkook asks trying to sound as nonchalant as possible even though he wants to punch a hole in the wall right now. 

“He’s the other bartender.  We went to school together.  He’s harmless,” Taehyung waves off. “We—slept together. Back in college.”

Jungkook holds back his expression.  He has no reason to be angry.  He’s slept with other people too.  He can’t be angry for whatever Taehyung did in his past.

“But just once.  And it was a total mistake. Eddie is just teasing.”

Jungkook gulps down his beer ignoring the jealousy he’s feeling right now. 

“I’m glad I never actually liked the taste of beer.  It doesn’t make it all that bad not being able to taste it. All the drinking effects without the shitty taste.”

Jungkook sits and stares at Taehyung and can’t understand how he seems to get prettier the more he looks at him. He finds himself staring at him more than he should lately. 

“Do I have something on my face or something?” Taehyung asks touching his cheek. “You’re staring.”

Jungkook clears his throat, face turning red. “No, sorry.  It’s the blue hair.  I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.”

“Me and you both.  Although it has grown on me considerably. At least I have an employer who doesn’t care about what my hair looks like,” Taehyung says winking at Jungkook. “I can’t imagine holding a normal job with this hair color.”

Jungkook scoffs, “Are you saying working with me isn’t a normal job?”

“I’m saying if I was working in what I had intended, this probably wouldn’t be appropriate.”

Jungkook frowns. “You wanted to be something else? Other than a physical therapist?”

Taehyung nods, as he takes another sip of his beer. “I wanted to be a doctor.”

Jungkook is taken aback.  “Really?”

“Yup! You know how you always threw in my face how I wasn’t a doctor?”

Jungkook nods. Guilt settling in when he thinks back to all the horrible things he used to spew on a daily basis to Taehyung.

“I was this close,” Taehyung motions with his fingers, “to being a doctor.”

“So what happened? Why are you a PT instead?”

Taehyung doesn’t answer.  He swallows down the beer.  Bitterness settling in, but not from the taste. 

“I got sick.  I had to quit halfway through my second year.  I figured it would be easier to do something like this.  I researched and fell on PT.  At that point I really didn’t care.  I didn’t think I’d even have the opportunity to fin—“ Taehyung bites his lip not finishing his sentence. “It was just easier,” he completes, drinking his beer.

“Oh,” is all Jungkook can think to say.  He can smell Taehyung’s scent change.  “You never thought of going back? To medical school?”

“Nope.  What for? It is what it is,” Taehyung shrugs.  How does he even begin to tell Jungkook that he’s constantly waiting for everything to turn to shit again so there’s no point in trying to go back to medical school.  For what? To quit again?

“Well, for what it’s worth I’m glad you became a PT.  I probably wouldn’t have met you otherwise.”

Taehyung looks at Jungkook and sometimes wonders how they got here.  He’s sitting in a bar having a drink with Jungkook and he just paid him a compliment.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s just that you used to be so mean to me. You used to say the worst things to me and now you’re telling me that you’re glad you met me.  It’s just strange, that’s all. To have you be nice to me is still strange.  I’m still expecting you to tell me it was all a prank or something and call me a whore again.”

Jungkook chokes on his beer, “I never called you a whore!”

“You implied it.  A lot of times,” Taehyung replies finishing his beer. “But I forgive you.  Knowing you now and getting to know the real you, I know you didn’t mean any of the stuff you said.  Not really.  I think you say a lot of things when you get angry.  Probably because you want to get a rise out of the other person, or you want them to hurt because you hurt.  But I know you didn’t mean it.  I am curious to know what made you so angry with me though.  I always tried to be nice to you.  Professional.  What did I do to you?”

Jungkook swallows down the rest of his beer. “You didn’t do anything Tae.  I’m just an asshole.  I really don’t know how to tone down my shitty attitude with people.”

Taehyung stares deep into Jungkook’s eyes, “Can I ask you a question? And I feel like I can ask something this invasive because to be honest Jungkook you’ve been intrusive and invasive all night with me.”

Jungkook gulps. He gives a small nod not sure what to expect.

“Did you—and I mean this with no disrespect but…did someone treat you like that when you were a kid?”

Jungkook is taken aback by the question.  No one has ever asked him something like this before. Probably because he would break whoever’s face decided to ask him such a question. “Why would you ask me that?”

“It’s just that I’ve found that people who are really mean or abusive with their words…they learn it from someone else.  It’s a learned behavior.  And you seem like you have a lot of pent-up anger in you Jungkook.  Did—was someone like that with you?”

Jungkook purses his lips.  He doesn’t know what to say.  Is this what Taehyung felt today during the numerous times Jungkook invaded his privacy and his desire to not be asked personal questions.  His excuse to Jin was that Taehyung and he were soulmates, and he had every right in the world to know what was and is happening to Taehyung.  But now sitting on the receiving end of such invasive questions he’s not so sure.  But then again, they are soulmates.  For whatever reason the universe set them aside for each other.  He doesn’t trust anyone, but Dr Moynahan said he needs to start somewhere and who better to start with than with Taehyung.  If not with him than who?

“You know what, you don’t have to answer that. Fuck, I’m sorry Jungkook.  I hate it when people pry into my personal life and here I am doing it to you.  It’s not fair.  Forget I asked.” Taehyung takes out his wallet and sets some bills on the table. “Eddie! Squaring up!” Eddie turns and waves. “Come on Jungkook.”

Jungkook sits on his stool staring at Taehyung.  He contemplates telling Taehyung to sit back down.  That he wants to open up to him like he’s never actually done with someone else or has wanted to in the past, but instead he silently follows Taehyung out of the bar into the cold air. 

“Do you want to come back to my place?” Taehyung asks looking at his phone to request an Uber.

“Your place?”

“Yeah…and don’t let your mind wander Jungkook.  I’m inviting you over to just hang out.  Nothing more.”

Jungkook nervously laughs. “Pfft, right.  It’s not like I was thinking we were going to do something else.” He wasn’t.  Perhaps, maybe for a fleeting small very minuscule second, he did have a slight flash of a very naked Taehyung under him moaning like he did with that ice cream, but it was so fast he would barely even think it was anything. He shifts uncomfortably in his pants and wishes he had worn his usual baggy ones.

“So?”

“Huh,” Jungkook asks turning a bright shade of red. “What?”

“Come over, or no? Do you have to be at the gym early tomorrow?”

“I do, but its ok.  I can make it no problem.  I’ll come over.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“You’re staring again Jungkook.  I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with my face.”

‘There’s definitely nothing wrong with your face,’ thinks Jungkook and immediately looks away.  “This is a really nice back area,” he says trying to divert attention at the fact that he can’t seem to stop these feelings that want to boil over when he’s in Taehyung’s presence.

“This is all Jin.  He fixed it for me.  Back when I was sick and at home the whole time,” Taehyung holds a finger up, “and no I’m not going to talk about it. You commented on my backyard, and I merely answered you.”

“I spent most of years as a kid bouncing from foster home to foster home and when I didn’t, I lived in a group home where I was treated like shit.” Jungkook takes in a quick breath and exhales.  “What is it about you that makes me word vomit everything I think?!”

Taehyung gets up and sits on the stairs next to Jungkook. “Treated you like shit?”

Jungkook nods, hands balled into fists at his sides.  “Yeah.  I used to get beat up pretty badly.  Emotional and verbal abuse too.”

Taehyung silently nods. 

“I spent most of my days thinking how I was going to make myself invisible so that I wouldn’t get beaten or plotting how to escape.  But more than likely I always ended my night gritting my teeth from whatever injury I had sustained that day.  You’re right.  I really don’t know any other way to be than an abrasive asshole.  I’m a mean shit to not just you, but everyone.  It’s really the only way I’ve survived this long. And you’re right about something else too.  I was angry at you.  And it did make me feel good to know you hurt and I’m sorry Tae.  I really am because—God, I was so wrong about so many things. And the reason—well, I’m not ready to tell you about that yet.”

Jungkook waited for a reaction that never came. Taehyung didn’t reply.  Instead, he reaches over and takes Jungkook’s hand in his making Jungkook freeze.  “Thank you for telling me.  I’m not sure why you felt you had to, but I appreciate you trusting me with such personal, important information.”

Taehyung squeezes Jungkook’s hand and looks deep into his eyes.  “Whoa,” Taehyung says.

“Deja-vu,” both Taehyung and Jungkook say at the exact same moment.

Taehyung blinks as he feels a droplet fall on his nose.  He looks up just as buckets of rain suddenly descend from the clouds above them pelting them and soaking them to the bone.  Jungkook stands shocked and is suddenly dragged inside by Taehyung who is laughing hysterically.  He drags him down the hall and into the bedroom.

“What even was that?!” Taehyung asks shaking his blue hair like a wet dog does after a bath. 

“Maybe that was the universe telling me to shut the fuck up and stop revealing so much of myself to you,” Jungkook jokes shaking off the water from his coat.

“Maybe. But it could’ve just struck you with lightning.  That would’ve been more efficient and then I wouldn’t have been soaked too.”

Jungkook snorts, “Jesus Princess, are you trying to get back at me for being so mean to you? Now you’re wishing I get struck by lightning?”

Taehyung shrugs, “You hoped I would disappear from existence; you get struck by lightening.  Pretty fair trade, no?”

Jungkook feels that overwhelming guilt wash over him again, “Princess—“

“I’m kidding Jungkook.  I’m just teasing.”  Taehyung walks over to his dresser taking out some clean clothes tossing them onto his bed.  “Here, I’m not sure if these will fit you.  You are way more built and muscled than me.  You’re like a muscle monster,” chuckles Taehyung.

“Has anyone told you what a fucking brat you are?”

“No. Maybe YOU bring that out of me,” says Taehyung sticking his tongue out at Jungkook prompting him to laugh out loud. ‘Cute,’ thinks Jungkook.

“You can change in my bathroom while I change in here,” Taehyung tells Jungkook pointing to a door to the side.  Jungkook takes the clothes on the bed entering the bathroom and shutting the door.  He places Taehyung’s clothes as close to his nose as humanly possible. Fresh apple pie radiates off of the clothes.  He looks at himself and can’t seem to recognize the person he’s looking back at.  Who even is that alpha? Because this Jungkook laughs at jokes, goes out for drinks, tells deep personal things about himself, opening himself up to…vulnerability.

“What the fuck are you doing to me Princess?” He starts to put on Taehyung’s clothes and inhales, the smell overtaking him and all of his senses.  Maybe being surrounded by the smell will calm his alpha who has been clawing at Jungkook to grab Taehyung and kiss him senseless all night. Is this what its like to have feelings for someone?!

He sighs and opens the door peeking out, making sure Taehyung is dressed.  He finds him swinging in his hanging chair and in that moment, he’s hit with a memory.  A memory of a tiny boy on a swing in the middle of a thunderstorm in a park years ago.  He frowns and looks down at the clothes Taehyung is wearing.

Taehyung looks at him and laughs.  “Told you they would be tight on you, muscle monster.”

Jungkook stands motionless trying to process what’s happening.

Taehyung gets up and walks toward Jungkook. Worried. “Jungkook? What’s wrong?”

“Why are you wearing that? Where did you get that?” Jungkook asks, voice shaking and confused.

“What? This?” Taehyung asks, pointing to his black hoodie, just as confused as Jungkook is now. “It’s mine.  Why? What’s wrong?”

“It’s not yours.  And I know that because it’s actually mine.  Or at least it was mine until I gave it to someone years ago in a park.”  And that’s when realization falls on Jungkook.

“Taehyung…that’s my hoodie.”

Chapter Text

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

Taehyung sits in the corner of his living room with his head down.  He plays with the button on his black suit, pulling at the thread.  The button pops off and falls on the floor rolling across the room.  He wonders who is going to sew it on for him. It was these kinds of simple things his mother always did for everyone around her that he took for granted.  Should he have learned how to sew? What else doesn’t he know how to do? He stares at the button on the floor.  A Lot of things.  He’s only twelve.  Twelve. And he’s buried both parents in the last week.

He looks up and scans the room.  He doesn’t even know half of the people standing in his house.  Where did they all come from? Here to pay their respects is what he was told.  Taehyung snorts.  They’re here to drink and eat for free because Taehyung didn’t see any of these people visit his mother when she was in the hospital.  And he definitely didn’t see them when she was transferred to hospice care here at home.

“Fake. All of them,” he mumbles glaring at a group standing at the food area.

“They are, aren’t they,” Yoongi agrees sitting on the floor next to Taehyung’s chair.  He holds out a plate with some food on it.  Taehyung shakes his head, looking down at the missing button on his suit. “You should try to eat something.”

“I’m not hungry Yoongs.  Who are all these people anyway? Why are they in my house?”

“My mom said they’re coworkers of your parents, friends, just people who want to pay their respects.”

“Some of them are friends, but the rest…I’ve never seen in my life.  Where the fuck were they when my parents were sick?” Taehyung angrily glares around the room.  “Have you heard them too? Talking about my parents like they knew them.  Really knew them. Do they know that dad had to hand feed her and take her to the bathroom before the feeding tube went in? Do they know dad screamed until his throat bled the day she died, and he had to be knocked out so that he would stop?” Taehyung’s voice gets progressively louder.  Yoongi looks around the room and notices people are starting to stare.

“Tae—“

“Did they know that mom stopped understanding what I was reading to her?” Tears start to flow freely down Taehyung’s cheeks.  Yoongi puts a hand on his leg and feels how much it’s shaking.  He quickly gets up and stands in front of Taehyung.

“Tae, please—“

“Not that it matters. She couldn’t understand what I was saying anyway because do they know she didn’t even know who I was? She couldn’t even recognize me! That disease turned her brain into mush!  Total mush that she didn’t even know her own son anymore!” Taehyung rises from his chair, arms around himself, shaking. Yoongi turns, eyes searching the room for the one person who can help him.  He locks eyes on Jin who comes running, pushing through the watching crowd.

“Tae, Taehyungie, why don’t we go upstairs—“ Jin stands in front of his nephew.  He’s been so quiet.  So detached from everything.  Jin was waiting for this to happen.  The moment when all the anger, all the grief, all that sadness he’s been holding in, finally boils over. 

“They don’t know shit Yoongi! They don’t know that after losing my mother, my dad actively abandoned me too.  That stupid bond! He chose that stupid bond over his own son! He told me to be strong and keep fighting and he couldn’t do the same! Coward!”

Yoongi let’s out a sob and looks at Jin who is trying desperately to keep it together. Yoongi feels hands on his shoulders and looks behind him to see his mother, crying, pulling him back. “No,” he says struggling against her.

“I hate soulmates! I hate that fucking bond! I hate him! I hate him for leaving me like this all because he couldn’t be without her!” Taehyung glares around the room sobbing. “And all of you want to stand around my house.  Eat and drink like we didn’t just bury them.  Acting like you knew them.  Bullshit! You don’t know shit!” Taehyung pushes against Jin running past everyone.

“Taehyung!” Yoongi screams, he struggles against his mother’s hold. “He needs me! I can’t just let him leave alone! Mom!”

“Yoongi, let Jin handle it.  Taehyung is in a dark place.  You can’t help him.”

“I’m his best friend! What are you even saying! If I can’t help him than who the hell will?!”

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

The rain is beating down Taehyung’s face, blurring his sight.  He can barely see ahead of himself.  And yet he runs.  He runs and runs until his legs give out.  He falls on his knees in a puddle of mud.  He looks around and shakily tries to get up.  He’s in Glen Park. 

He looks up and sees the lightning light up the sky.  He closes his eyes and jumps when the boom of thunder erupts around him.  He takes a few breaths in, in quick succession.  If he doesn’t sit down, he’s going to pass out.  He makes his way to the swings, knees wobbling. 

 He sits in the swing and starts to move.  He thinks back to the number of times he sat in this swing and was pushed by his parents.  He lets out a guttural yell.  He continues to scream as even the loud booming thunder can’t cover the sound of his grief and sorrow.  

“HEY! ARE YOU OK?! SHOULD I GET HELP?!”

Taehyung stops and blinks away tears and rain from his eyes.  He narrows his eyes trying to focus on the figure in front of him.  Lightening illuminating the park.  Taehyung frowns.  It’s a boy.  About his age he’s guessing. 

“W—w—what?”

“I said do you need help? I’ll go get help. Did—did someone do something to you?”

Taehyung scrunches his brows.  “No.”

“Oh. Then why the fuck are you sitting here screaming your head off in the middle of a thunderstorm? Being fucking dramatic, scaring people!”

Taehyung exhales angrily, “Who are you to tell me anything! I didn’t ask you to come over here.  I wasn’t screaming for help.  Get out of here!”

The boy raises an eyebrow and moves to sit in the swing next to Taehyung’s.

“Don’t sit there! I don’t need help! Leave!” Taehyung screams over the storm, wiping angrily at his eyes.

“No, of course you don’t need help.  You’re just crazily sitting in a swing in the middle of a thunderstorm screaming and crying.  What do you need someone to walk you home? I’ll do that, I guess. But that’s right, you don’t need any help.  I mean the only help you need is for your brain because you’re crazy,” the boy says shrugging.

“Me? You’re out here too! Why are you out here then?! That means you’re as crazy as I am!” Who does this kid think he is?  Taehyung shakes his head trying to get control over his emotions.

“I never said I wasn’t crazy.  I said YOU were crazy.  And besides I’m here because adults are assholes and I’m tired of being surrounded by them.  I needed to get away.”

Taehyung sniffles wiping his nose.  “M—m—me too.”

“Nice suit,” the boy says snorting. “You going on a job interview?” he teases.

“Why do you hate adults right now?”

The boy looks at Taehyung and tilts his head.  “They’re a bunch of lying, abusive, untrustworthy shits.  I hate them.  I wish they didn’t exist.”

Taehyung scoffs, “You’ll be an adult someday you know.  Besides imagine a world of just kids.  It would be like Lord of the Flies.”

“Lord of the what?”

Taehyung bites his lip. “Never mind. But you’re right.  Adults suck.  You know what else sucks? Soulmates.  And bonds.  And cancer.  I really hate cancer.” Taehyung’s lip starts to quiver again.

The boy stares at Taehyung and nods. “Yeah… cancer sucks.”

“My mom died,” Taehyung says, tears falling down again, “a week ago.  Then my dad died right after.  We just buried him today.”

“Oh.”

“Aren’t you going to tell me how sorry you are?” Taehyung asks.

“Why? I didn’t kill him,” shrugs the boy. “But I do feel bad.  It must be rough to lose your parents like that.  Were they nice to you?”

“The best! T—they loved me very much,” stutters Taehyung.

“Good for you.  I don’t have parents either.  Not for a long time.  But mine were shit so…” he trails off and shrugs.

“W—w—what am I supposed to do now? I feel like everyone is waiting for me to act a certain way.  But I—all I want to do is…cry.  I just want to sit and cry.”

“So sit and cry.  I don’t care.  I won’t say anything if that’s what you want to do. Cry.  Go ahead.”

And it’s something so simple.  To tell someone it’s ok to cry.  To give them that kind of permission to let it out. To be vulnerable.  And in that moment Taehyung feels something he hasn’t felt in a really long time…relief.  He feels relieved.  He lets out sob as his whole-body shakes with force.  The park is lit by lightning again.  Taehyung watches as the boy pulls his hoodie off over his head and gets up standing in front of Taehyung.  Without saying a word, he starts to put the hoodie on Taehyung then rubs his hands on Taehyung’s arms, trying to warm him up.

“I—I can’t take y-y-your—“

“Shut up.  I’m fine.  You’re shaking and you’re cold.  Now go ahead.  Cry.  I’ll sit right here and let you do it. Get it out. Because after today you’re going to get your shit together and be strong.  So tonight, you let it all out.”

Taehyung cuddles into the hoodie.  His tears flow without stopping.  He feels the boy reach for his hand and intertwine their fingers.  He feels a bolt that shoots straight to his heart. He starts to sob again in the middle of the storm, hand in hand with a complete stranger…yet feeling the most at home he’s ever felt.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Taehyung…that’s my hoodie.”

Taehyung furrows his brows and looks down at his hoodie. “What?”

“That’s mine,” Jungkook repeats, pointing at the black hoodie. He walks closer, standing inches from Taehyung.  “Let me see the sleeves.”

“Jungkook-“

“The sleeves,” he says lifting Taehyung’s hands.  He doesn’t need confirmation he already knows this is his, but he needs to supply it for Taehyung.  “I made these holes at the bottom of the sleeves to put my thumbs through. This was mine…until I gave it to you that night at the park.”

Taehyung’s heart starts to beat faster.  What is Jungkook even saying? “Jungkook, a boy, a complete stranger gave me this at Glen Park the night—“

“The night you buried your father.  A week after doing the same to your mother.  She died of cancer.  You hate cancer.  Just like you hate soulmates,” Jungkook gulps, “and bonds.”

Taehyung sucks in a breath, “And you hate adults.  Because they’re abusive and untrustworthy…holy shit! What is this Jungkook?!”

Jungkook smiles.  What are the odds.  What are the infinite number of possibilities that made this one possible.  Taehyung, his soulmate, is also that same little boy from years ago.

“You’re what made me want to become a professional boxer,” Jungkook says, taking Taehyung’s hand, pulling Taehyung’s thumb through the hole.

“Me? What?”

“I told you to be strong.  To get your shit together and be strong.  And I hated myself because there I was giving you that advice, but I couldn’t do it myself.”

Taehyung stares at Jungkook, mouth agape.  He’s trying to process everything that is happening right now, but Jungkook just keeps throwing more at him. Jungkook sits on Taehyung’s bed and shakes his head.

“There was this case manager at the group home I was in…Jack.  He was an alpha.  He was…” Jungkook takes a breath and exhales shakily.  “I still shake when I think about him.  Taehyung I’m not afraid of many things…but holy shit was I afraid of him.  He was mean, but when his eyes turned red…he was pure evil.  And he hated me.  I’m not sure what it was about me, but he hated me.  And he was going to make that known every chance he got.”

Taehyung swallows hard and sits next to Jungkook. “See this scar right here,” Jungkook points to a scar on his cheek.

 “This was when he placed a burning hot metal skewer on my face because I had dropped some napkins on the floor.  I was 7.” Taehyung gulps.

“We had this punching bag in the rec room.  I was standing at it one day just punching it, and he came out of nowhere and sucker punched me from behind.  I was 8 when he first broke my nose.”

“Jungkook—“ Taehyung takes Jungkook’s hand and holds it, pulling it close to his chest. 

“He had charges brought against him eventually.  That day—that I met you—Joon’s dad was trying to convince me to testify against him. But I couldn’t.  I was so fucking afraid of him still.  And then I met you that night.  And you were miserable.  And rightfully so.  And I told you to be strong and that you should cry it out, but that I fully expected you to get it together the next day.”

“You did.  And I did,” Taehyung replies holding Jungkook’s hand close to his chest.

“And so did I.  As much as I could.  I testified against that asshole.  I started going to the gym every day.  Took boxing more seriously. I realized it wasn’t only helping me release all that fucking anger I had, but that I could actually turn it into a real career.”

Taehyung squeezes Jungkook’s hand again. “That wasn’t because of me.  You did that.  You were strong because of you. I didn’t even do anything that night. Other than cry.”

“And scream,” Jungkook jokes. “You had some lungs on you back then Princess. It was the reason I stopped.  I thought someone was getting murdered in the park.”

“And you stopped anyway? Look at you! A regular fucking Batman.”

Jungkook laughs.

Taehyung places their hands on his lap. “You—you helped a lot that night.  You don’t know how much it helped me to be able to just cry and just let me cry.  Without asking me if I was ok.  Without trying to make it better.  You just let me…release.  And it felt so good. Did you know that I didn’t cry the whole time my mom was sick.  Not the whole time.  I—I couldn’t.  It felt like if I cried.  If I cried for her, I was admitting that it was hopeless.  Real.  And I didn’t want to.  Through the worst.  Even—even when she took her last breath, I didn’t cry.  It wasn’t until my dad died that I felt like I couldn’t stop.  And when I did, it made everyone around me uncomfortable. They would always want to make me feel better so that I would stop crying.  But it wasn’t really about making ME feel better it was more about reducing their anxiety at seeing me cry.  Yoongs was the same.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen. “He’s my best friend.  Has been since we were 4, but when things turned bad, he just wanted to make everything better and I get it, but at the same time I just wanted to live in my misery.  As fucked up as it sounds, I needed to live in it without anyone telling me how.  And that night in the park…you were the only person who was letting me just sit with it.  The anger, the pain, the tears,” Taehyung grips Jungkook’s hand to his heart again, “for that I will forever be grateful.”

“I’ve never cried either you know,” Jungkook says inching closer to Taehyung. “I could never let myself do that either. I would never have survived this long if I let myself be weak.”

Taehyung puts his head on Jungkook’s shoulder making him tense.  He stays perfectly still.  He doesn’t want to move and have Taehyung retreat from him.  “It’s not a weakness to cry Jungkook.  It’s a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long.  Sometimes you need it to feel like you’re still alive. Crying can do that.  Make us feel again. All the things that happen to us and numb us, are only there to temporarily ground us, but only to make us stronger, so that we push harder in life.”

“Is that what your illness did?”

Taehyung loosens his grip on Jungkook’s hand, letting go completely.  He lifts his head up and shakes his head.  “I told you.  I don’t want to talk about my being sick.”

Jungkook grips Taehyung’s wrist, pulling him back, “I’m sorry.  Forget I said anything.  Just—can you at least tell me if you’re ok now.  If you’re really healthy now.”

Taehyung sighs.  He is.  For right now he is.  But then again, he was fine three years ago too and then all of a sudden, he wasn’t.  “Yes.  Yes Jungkook, I’m fine now.  I am currently healthy.  If you ignore the fact that I can’t smell or taste anything then yes, I’m healthy.”

‘For now,’ Taehyung thinks.

“Good,” Jungkook breaths out.  “Good.  That’s great!” He looks down at the hoodie and laughs.  “I can’t believe you kept this.  All this time.”

“Of course I did! Why would I get rid of a perfectly good hoodie. Besides, a really cute boy gave it to me.”

Jungkook blushes and stares at Taehyung, eyes wide. “You couldn’t even see me! That storm was crazy that night.”

“I could see you.  And you know you were cute. What are you trying to say? Hmm? That you didn’t think I was cute?! Well then here, take this old rag back then!” Taehyung goes to take off the hoodie, but gentle hands stop him.  Jungkook looks at Taehyung and pulls the hoodie back down.  He places his hands on his arms and rubs up and down. Just like he did years ago.

“I thought you were cute, yes. You still are.”

Taehyung blushes.

“If you weren’t always such a brat,” Jungkook teases. 

Taehyung rolls his eyes.  “You’re not getting this hoodie back by the way.  I hope you know that.  It’s my favorite one and I’m not letting it go,” he bumps Jungkook making him laugh.

“I would never dream of asking for it back.  Maybe it’ll make up for what an asshole I’ve been to you. I’m sorry Taehyung.  I really hope you can understand how much I really mean that.”

“I know.  I know you do.  But it would be easier for me to understand if you just explained why you hated me so much.”

Jungkook stares into Taehyung’s face.  He wants to tell him. Be honest with him about everything.  Finally, be able to tell him he’s his soulmate and that he has feelings for him.

‘You know what else sucks soulmates.  And bonds.’

“Because…I was fucking stupid.  And an asshole.  I told you.  I really don’t know any other way to be.  And maybe you were too nice, and it irked me.”

Taehyung frowns and moves away again from Jungkook, who immediately reaches out and holds him still. “But…I’m sorry.  I am.  And I’m trying to be better.  To make up for the time that I spent wasted while you and I—“

“You and I what?” Taehyung asks staring deep into Jungkook’s eyes.

“While you and I could’ve been friends.  We could’ve been friends,” Jungkook clears his throat.  He can’t. He and Taehyung only just got to a place of peace with each other.  He can’t ruin it again.   Not when he feels the way he feels about him.  He couldn’t stand driving Taehyung away.  Not again.  He doesn’t think he’s ready to deal with the pain.  The anguish again.  He really doesn’t think he would survive that again.

“Right,” Taehyung replies, an air of disappointment in his voice.  He’s not sure why he’s disappointed at being called Jungkook’s friend.  It could be worse he thinks.

Taehyung snorts, “Could be worse, we could be soulmates?” he says absentmindedly, rising again from the bed.

“What?”

“Huh? Nothing.  Just thinking out loud.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath. “What…does turning out to be my soulmate sound that bad to you Princess,” he asks trying to sound as unserious as possible.

“No. It would be amazing actually.  Anybody would be lucky to have you as a soulmate.  The unlucky one would be you.  We met when we were little.  You being stuck with me as your soulmate would be disastrous for you, believe me.  Thank your lucky stars I’m not.”

“Why would you say that? What does that even mean?”

Taehyung waves him off. “Don’t ask.  Believe me.  It’s a moot point. I’m not, so there’s no need to discuss it.  But it’s crazy that you and I met when we were kids and now again.  It’s like we were fated to or something.  And I hate fate, but even I can’t deny it.”

“Taehyung—“

“Look at the time Jungkook.  Joon will kill us if he finds out how late it is and that you aren’t asleep.  You should get home.”

Jungkook nods.  He feels an ache in his heart that wasn’t there at the beginning of the night.

Taehyung leads Jungkook to his front door.  “I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early.” Taehyung can’t help himself and he smashes into Jungkook wrapping his arms around his neck, hugging him tight making Jungkook tense at the sudden show of affection. “Thank you.  For what you did for me back then.  And I promise you Jungkook, I’m going to get you healthy again and you’re going to be a prized fighter.” Taehyung pulls back and smiles at Jungkook. He turns and enters the house leaving Jungkook wondering that the hell just happened. 

‘The unlucky one would be you.  We met when we were little.  You being stuck with me as your soulmate would be disastrous for you believe me.’

“What the fuck? What does any of that even mean?!”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Stop teasing me! I could be a kick ass fighter if I really applied myself! Come on, fight me for real! Stop going easy on me!”

Jungkook laughs and easily dodges Taehyung’s “punches.” “Princess, if I stopped going easy on you, you’d be sleeping on this floor right now.” He punches him lightly in the ribs where he knows Taehyung is ticklish. Once, then twice for good measure sending Taehyung into a giggling fit.

“Jungkookie stop it!” Taehyung screams bending over in laughter. ‘Jungkookie.’ Taehyung’s been calling him that lately and it turns Jungkook into mush every time he hears it slip from Taehyung’s lips.

The overwhelming smell of apple pie is filling the gym.  Jungkook has been better at knowing Taehyung’s scent cues.  And when it’s this abundant he knows it’s because Taehyung is happy.  He’s happy with him.

“How exactly do you think you could be a kick ass fighter if you fall into a laughing fit whenever someone sends any body shots your way.”

Taehyung growls between giggles making Jungkook laugh in amusement. “Did you just growl at me Omega?”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow and growls again. “That was my mean face.  I’m intimidating you…why are you laughing?! How dare you! I can be very scary when I want to be!” Taehyung pouts.

“Of course you can Princess.  Very fierce.  Like a tiny baby tiger.”

Taehyung glares at Jungkook. “Baby tiger? What about a big mean tiger?”

“Yes, you’re very scary.”

“Jungkook! Taehyung! Stop messing around.  You had your break! Back to work Jungkook.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes at Namjoon and sticks his middle finger out at him making Taehyung giggle.  “I’ll be over there, reading,” Taehyung says as he removes the gloves off his hands.

“What is it this time? Which King novel are you reading today?” Jungkook asks. 

“Oh um…it’s not a Stephen King.  It’s a new book. ‘We All Know How This Ends.’” Taehyung looks down at his hands and quietly removes the tape from his knuckles. 

Jungkook let’s out a long breath. “Taehyung—we talked about this.  About you reading those kinds of books.  Why—“

“Jungkook! Let’s go!”

“Fuck off Namjoon! I’m fucking talking to Taehyung!”

“Jungkookie, don’t be mean.  It’s ok.  We’ll talk after your training,” he gives a small smile and retreats to his stool in the corner of the gym.

Now he’s smelling burnt pie.  If there’s anything that drives Jungkook absolutely mad about Taehyung is his complete avoidance at anything and everything.  He’s always prided himself in being a vault.  A stone-cold emotion holder, but he has completely met his match with Taehyung.  He’s never seen anyone be this avoidant.  This closed off when he’s challenged with his issues or problems. 

He’s guessing it’s the same reason why it’s been a month since they found out they met each other as children, and it’s never been discussed again.  When Jungkook tries to bring it up, Taehyung immediately changes the subject. 

“We met each other.  You helped me when I needed it the most.  Let’s leave it that.  It’s a coincidence. Why make it into something else? Because if we start to talk about it and the many reasons behind it, it inevitably falls on fate.  And I fucking hate fate.  Fuck her and the horse she rode on,” Taehyung had said angrily. 

He even tried to ask Yoongi about it again, but he was told to stop asking so many questions and focus on building his relationship with Taehyung.  That nothing else should matter. So Jungkook never brought it up again.

Because aside from the fact that they’re soulmates and Jungkook is keeping that very big fact from Taehyung, everything else with them is going perfectly. They spend a lot of time together and not just at the gym.  Taehyung got in the habit of joining Jungkook on his runs and they even spend some nights at Sligo’s nursing soda’s while Taehyung chews Jungkook’s ear off about whatever book he’s reading. 

And that’s where today’s avoidance comes in.  Taehyung’s obsession with reading about death.  Jungkook thinks he understands it.  He believes it has to do with Taehyung losing his parents so young.  But because Taehyung is nowhere near comfortable talking about his parents’ deaths, he can’t just ask him if that’s where this obsession stems from.  But there’s something else that concerns Jungkook.  It’s the books he reads about illnesses and death.  Mostly cancer that concern him.  Jungkook knows how unhealthy this is, but Taehyung closes off whenever Jungkook brings it up. And Jungkook isn’t good at this.  He’s never had anyone in his life like this before.  He’s never felt like this about anyone, and he doesn’t know how one would approach these subjects with someone.

“Jungkook! Jungkook!” Jimin yells running out of the office with a smiling Hobi following close behind.

“Jimin, whatever it is can wait.  We’re starting again,” Namjoon says motioning to Jungkook to take his stance.

“No, it really fucking can’t! Because I just booked you a fight!”

Jungkook’s eyes snap to Jimin’s. “What?”

“You booked him a fight?” Taehyung asks coming up behind Jimin.

“I did! Shane Hanrahan.”

“The kid from Southie? The south paw?”

“Yup! He heard that you were healthy again and he’s interested in fighting you!” Jimin says excitedly.

Jungkook turns to look at Taehyung who has a huge smile on his face. “Congratulations Jungkook!”

“But my shoulder—“

“Is better.  It’s infinitely better! We keep doing what we’re doing.  You keep doing what you’re doing.  Don’t worry champ, you’ll be ready,” Taehyung says, sending Jungkook a wink.  Jungkook inhales, Taehyung’s scent entering his senses. 

Jungkook looks at Namjoon who nods confidently. “You’re ready Jungkook.  You’re ready to get back in the ring again.”

“I’m ready,” Jungkook repeats.  He’s not sure if it’s the smell of apple pie making him say it or if he actually believes it.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook rotates his shoulder and nods back at Taehyung making him smile proudly. “It doesn’t hurt, does it?”

“Nope,” Jungkook responds.

“I am a ridiculously good physical therapist,” Taehyung says chuckling to himself.

“You are,” replies Namjoon exiting the office. “So good, that leading into this fight I want you to increase your sessions with him.”

Taehyung smiles and looks at Jungkook. “Bleh, spend even more time with this loser?  Great,” he teases.

“Yeah, really Namjoon.  You can’t possibly want me to spend any more time than I have to with this book nerd,” replies Jungkook.  Taehyung scrunches his nose and lets out a giggle.

“I think I liked it better when you two were at each other’s throats,” Namjoon says, raising an eyebrow.  “Taehyung, there’s something else.  A request I’m hoping will be ok with you.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I know you specifically requested Wednesdays off, but I’m hoping that now that we have a fight booked you can add that day to coming to the gym as well.”

Taehyung’s smile disappears as it’s replaced by a deep frown. “Wednesdays? But—I told you Namjoon, I need that day.  It’s—I can’t.  I’m sorry I can’t give you Wednesdays.”

“Why the fuck not?” Jungkook asks, legitimately offended that Taehyung wouldn’t even think about it before just saying no.

“Because not everything is about you Jungkook.  There’s something I do on Wednesdays, and I can’t budge on it.  That day is mine.  I want to give you all my other days.  I want to help you be at your 100% and I’ll do that on any day that isn’t Wednesday.” Taehyung turns to Namjoon. “Sorry Joon.”

“No problem, Tae.  I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Namjoon heads back to the office leaving an angry Jungkook quietly staring at Taehyung. 

“Go ahead.  Let me have it.  Or are you just going to stand there glaring at me?”

“What’s the big fucking deal? Why can’t you help me with this?”

“I am helping you.  I’m at the gym all the time.  I barely see my best friend and Jin anymore because I’m always with you.  I’m not saying I don’t want to help you.  I’m saying that I can’t—“

“You don’t want to. Not can’t Taehyung because you could easily drop whatever it is you’re doing and help.”

Taehyung scoffs, “No, I can’t “easily” drop what I’m doing. And I do help you.  A lot.”

“This fight is everything to me.  It could make or break my career.  It’s really important to me.”

“And what I do with my time is important to me Jungkook.  Don’t minimize it just because of your own selfish bullshit,” Taehyung angrily grits through his teeth.

“Selfish?! I’m being selfish?! You’re the one who can’t put aside whatever stupid book thing you have going on to help me! Because that’s what it is, right? It’s some fucking idiotic book thing?”

“Fuck you Jungkook!” Taehyung snarls back, eyes a cold icy blue.

Jungkook clenches his jaw, eyes turning red. “No, fuck you! I can’t believe I have a chance for my career to bounce back and you’re refusing to help!”

Taehyung shakes his head. “I’m actually really disappointed.  I thought we were past this.  The going back and forth with each other.  The name calling.  The mean shit.  And I’m not refusing to help you.  All I want is to help you because I know your potential, but not at the expense of something that’s important to me.” Taehyung turns and picks up his bag. 

“So you’re just going to leave?! Great! Fucking fantastic! Avoid it! Like you do everything else! Go ahead then. Leave! Who fucking cares?! I don’t need you here anyway. Get the fuck out and don’t come back!”

Taehyung doesn’t turn back or say a word in retaliation.  He quietly flings his bag over his shoulder and leaves the gym.  The heavy gym doors banging harshly and echoing through the room. And that’s when Jungkook feels it.  The stabbing pain in his chest.  He grips at his heart, “Fuck!”

What did he just do…again.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung hastily opens the front door, stampeding in, flinging his bag on the floor.  He’s angry.  No. He’s furious.  Was he being selfish? Was he being unreasonable to request that Wednesdays be left for him? He practically lives at the gym lately.  Gets there early, stays late.  He’s even with Jungkook lately when they’re not doing anything PT related.  Although that’s by choice.  He loves spending time with the alpha.  He makes him ridiculously happy lately…until today.  Until that mean disrespectful alpha came back and reverted back to the old Jungkook again. “Ow!” he yelps, keeling over, holding his chest.  That bizarre pain is back again.  Because of course it is.  What else could go wrong?

And the thing that hurts Taehyung the most is for Jungkook to throw his love of books right back in his face the way he did. He knows how much books mean to him.  Sure, he’s a little obsessed, but they mean so much more to him than just books.  They’re a much-needed connection to his mother.  And he needs that. With everything else that goes on in his head, he needs that connection…and those books.

“YOONGI!!” Taehyung stomps down the hallway towards his best friend’s bedroom door.  He can hear the music coming from the other side. He pounds his fist against the door and waits.  It opens as Yoongi frowns and looks at him confused.

“Tae? Everything ok?”

“No! Everything is not ok!” Taehyung angrily stomps his way into Yoongi’s room.  Yoongi watches him pace the room and mumble book quotes under his breath. 

“Problem?” Yoongi asks, sighing. “Wait, let me guess…that shitty alpha.  Jungkook.  Because he’s the only one who can elicit this kind of a reaction from you.”

“Do you know what he did?! He kicked me out of the gym! Told me to never come back!”

“What the fuck…why?! You two were doing so well.  I barely even see you anymore with the way you’ve been hanging out with him! What did he do?!” This stupid alpha.  Yoongi knew he couldn’t be trusted. 

“Jimin was able to secure a fight for him.  Which is so great right?! I’m so happy for him because I know he can beat anybody. But the problem came when Namjoon asked me if I wouldn’t mind adding more time to helping Jungkook prepare for the fight—“

“What more time?! You already give him enough! Where would you even find that time exactly?!”

Taehyung sighs. “Wednesdays Yoongs.  They wanted me to start working on Wednesdays,” Taehyung exclaims, throwing his hands up in frustration and falling on Yoongi’s bed.  “Any day Yoongi.  You know that.  Not Wednesdays.”

Yoongi walks to Taehyung and sits down next to him, running his fingers through his blue curls. 

“Am I being unreasonable Yoongi? Tell me the truth.”

“No.  You aren’t.  That day is yours.  You don’t need to apologize or explain yourself.  You aren’t being selfish.  If anything, it’s Jungkook who sounds like a kid throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get his way. He’ll have to make do on Wednesdays like he’s always done, without you. Don’t feel guilty for not wanting to be at the gym working.”

“He—“ Taehyung’s bottom lip quivers, “he said that the only reason I didn’t want to help was because I was doing some stupid book thing.”

Yoongi clenches his hands into fists.  “He said what?!”

“I believe what he said was ‘fucking idiotic book thing.’”

“I’m going to break his fucking face, Taehyung.”

“I knew it was too good to be true. Us getting along.  Him being nice to me.  Why can’t he be the Jungkook that held my hand in the park years ago,” Taehyung says with a heavy sigh.

Yoongi freezes.  His hands stop, unmoving in Taehyung’s hair.  “What did you say?”

“Oh my god! I never told you! Holy fuck! Like a month ago, we found out that we met before.  When we were kids.  Isn’t that crazy! Yoongi…he was the kid in the park.  You know the one who sat with me and gave me his hoodie.”

Yoongi tries to process the information properly because did Taehyung just say he found out a month ago? “You found out a month ago that Jungkook was that kid, and you didn’t tell me!”

“I’ve been busy—“

“Yeah, with said fucking alpha,” Yoongi angrily growls.  “Did he—Taehyung did he say anything else?”

“Anything else? Like what?”

Of course Taehyung doesn’t know they’re soulmates.  He wouldn’t be this calm right now if he did. Jungkook had one job.  One task at hand.  To fix his relationship with Taehyung.  To work towards something better.  Yoongi should’ve known better. 

“Yoongi? Will you cuddle me? Please?”

Yoongi doesn’t say a word.  He lies next to Taehyung and spoons him close to his chest. 

“Can I sleep here tonight?”

“You don’t even need to ask Tae.”

“Thank you.”

“What are you going to do about Jungkook?”

Taehyung let’s out a shaky breath. “I’m not sure.  I wish I could say that I just won’t go back again.  Just like he wants.  That I quit.  But…I can’t.”

Yoongi looks down at Taehyung, “Why not?”

“Because I have feelings for him Yoongi.  And now I don’t know how to let him go.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook stands in front of the door.  He lifts his hand up to knock…

“What do you want Jungkook?” Jin angrily asks, arms crossed across his chest making no effort to invite Jungkook in.

“What are you just always standing at this door ready to open it?  Are you psychic or something?”

Jin clicks his tongue and moves his body from the door.  He slams it shut.  He goes to walk away when he hears loud knocking again.  He opens the front door to a flustered Jungkook.

“I’m guessing Taehyung told you what happened,” Jungkook asks.

“He most certainly did.  Goodbye Jungkook,” Jin goes to the slam the door again, but is stopped by Jungkook who very forcefully holds it back. 

“Look, I know I fucked up…again.  And that I don’t deserve his forgiveness…again, but I’m here regardless to apologize.  Please. Just give me a chance to apologize.”

Jin pushes back against the door.  “Just because you’re my soulmate’s brother doesn’t mean I’m going to let you dick around my nephew.  Get off my doorstep Jungkook.  Fuck off back to your gym.  And Taehyung isn’t coming to work for you. Not on Wednesdays, not any day.  I don’t give a fuck if you are soulmates.  He’ll move on. It’s better than having a prick like you around him.” Jin moves the door a hair, but Jungkook holds back even more forcibly than before.

“I’m not leaving.  And he should get the fuck away from me.  Absolutely.  He should reject me and go and find someone better because to be honest considering what a fucking head case I am anybody is better than me.  But I’m not leaving without apologizing to him. Please Jin. I know I do this a lot.  I know that.  But I really am fucking trying. It’s so hard for me to not let that anger win.  It’s always won.  I’m trying to learn what it feels like to lose to it.  And it’s really fucking hard.” Jungkook let’s go of the door.  If Jin doesn’t want to let him in, he’ll sit outside and wait for Taehyung to come out.

Jin sighs.  “Are you always this frustrating to be around? My nephew is a saint.”

Jungkook tries to step into the house, but is rebuked by Jin again.  “Nope.  I wasn’t joking before.  You aren’t welcome here.  Besides Taehyung isn’t home anyway.”

Jungkook steps back. “He’s not home?” Jungkook looks down at his watch. 7:06am.  He decided to come here bright and early to talk to Taehyung. Even though he himself should’ve been at the gym three hours ago.  Namjoon is going to kill him.  “It’s Wednesday,” Jungkook says nervously rubbing at his neck, “it’s his day off.  He should be home.”

“Should he? It’s nice of you to acknowledge that Wednesdays are his day off.  Considering how you like to act like you own his time and want to tell him how he should be utilizing it.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw.  He’s here to apologize to Taehyung…not get into a fight with his uncle. 

“Can you please tell me where he is,” he asks through gritted teeth.

“No. Because you deserve to sit in your own misery for a bit.  Maybe think about what you have and not take it for granted. Maybe that will make you think the next time you decide to say some stupid shit to my nephew.”

Jungkook balls his hands into fists. “Fine.  Tell me, don’t tell me.  I’ll sit here until he comes home.” Jungkook turns on his heels and angrily sits on the curb at the end of the walkway from the house.

“Fucking serious?! Jungkook go home!” Jin walks up behind him and stares dumbfounded.  He can’t understand this stupid alpha.  He’s an asshole one minute and then thinks he can just come here and magically erase everything that vomits out of his mouth. 

“I can’t keep letting you treat my nephew like this Jungkook! He’s strong, but he’s so sensitive.  More than he lets on.  He internalizes a lot of shit that goes wrong in his life.  After everything he’s just trying to finally live normally.  Can’t you just let him do that? Without all this other bullshit noise you keep throwing at him!”

“I want to. Of course I want to! I don’t know how to control myself.  I let my emotions do that and you see the outcome.  I don’t want to be mean to him.  Not to him! Never to him,” Jungkook mumbles. He sits back down on the curb and looks down the street. 

“Namjoon told me a bit about you,” Jin says sitting down next to Jungkook on the curb.  Jungkook looks at him with furrowed brows. “Relax.  He didn’t invade your privacy and tell me personal details.  Just told me you had it rough growing up and that you went through some abuse.  That they adopted you and—“

“And,” Jungkook asks, eyebrow raised, waiting.

“And that you’re still feeling the effects of all of that.”

Jungkook breaths out and looks down at his hands.

“Trauma is a bitch, Jungkook.  But you aren’t the only one who experiences it.  My nephew does too.  And he may not have suffered the devastating abuse that I’m sure you went through, but his experiences were real.  And scary.  And…life altering as well.  He needs kindness in his life.  You do too.  We all do.  You need to stop treating Taehyung like he’s your enemy.  He’s not.  He’s your soulmate and by now I hope friend.  But if you’re doing this because this is your M.O, sabotaging things that are good because you don’t think you deserve them or because it’s easier that way, then you need to step away from Taehyung. He’s already a glass half empty kind of guy.  I don’t need you coming along shattering the glass along the way completely emptying the contents, leaving him with nothing.”

Jungkook avoids Jin’s stare.  He nods silently.

“Taehyung is where he is every Wednesday.  Mass General.”

“At the hospital? Why? Is he ok?” Jungkook jumps up from the curb, dusting himself off.

“He’s fine.  You’ll find him in the Yawkey building, floor 8B.  Good luck.”

“Thanks Jin.”

What could Taehyung be doing at Mass General Hospital this early in the morning?

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook walks down the hallway as he adjusts the mask on his face.  He just spent almost 15 minutes with a nurse who explained to him the rules of being on this floor.  The children’s oncology unit.

She explained at length how to introduce himself to patients and families, how to maintain appropriate boundaries, the rules surrounding the confidentially of the patients, as well as cleaning and sanitizing policies.

“Since our patients are immunocompromised, I can’t also emphasize enough the importance of cleaning and sanitizing.  Making sure your hands are clean and that you wear a mask and clean scrubs that have not been outside.”

She had supplied Jungkook with a change of clothes and detailed instructions on how to properly wash his hands.  He’s lucky he even convinced her to do any of it.  He’s pretty sure Taehyung is going to be pissed for dropping his name and saying that he had signed him up to volunteer with him.

Volunteer.  Jungkook closes his eyes and takes steady breaths.  Taehyung volunteers here every Wednesday.  He’s apparently been doing this for a while now.  Yes, Jungkook feels like absolute shit. He can’t believe he started an argument accusing Taehyung of being selfish when this is how he’s using his time.

Jungkook reaches the end of the hallway and stops, his breath hitches.  Even behind the mask he can see his almond eyes laughing back at the children that surround him.  They all seem to be in various stages of their illness, but all of them are enthralled by Taehyung.

“Ok everyone, the last time we left off Peter had just been found guilty and had been placed in The Needle.”

“What’s The Needle? I don’t remember that part?” a young boy sitting on a recliner asks.

“You need to stop scheduling your chemo for the exact same time Tae comes every week.  You always miss something and then we have to hold back because of you,” another little boy angrily sneers back.  The smaller boy cuddles into his chair, clearly uncomfortable.

“Alex, that’s enough.  We talked about being nice to everyone remember.  Max doesn’t choose the times.  They choose for him.  And it doesn’t matter what he missed.  That’s why I always give a recap,” Taehyung turns and winks at Max who smiles widely under his baseball cap.

“Is Samantha not coming back?” another child asks.  Jungkook sees Taehyung’s body language change.  His scent shifting to something less sweet. “She—she’s pretty sick.  She’s not going to be joining us for a while.  But that’s ok.  When she’s better and can come back we’ll just pick up wherever we were.”

“Is she coming back?” Max asks. All the children look at Taehyung expectingly.  Jungkook can see the sadness in Taehyung’s eyes and he’s trying his hardest to mask it.  To be strong in front of all these kids.

“Pfft, of course she is. Are you kidding me?! You know how strong she is.  Besides what do we always say?”

“FUCK CANCER!” all the children respond sending Jungkook into amused hysterics. Taehyung really is one of a kind.

“Jungkook?!”

Jungkook looks up, startled.  Taehyung is looking at him with daggers in his eyes.  He was expecting this.  That Taehyung would be less than thrilled to see him here.

“Who is that?” Alex asks.

“Is that your boyfriend Tae,” asks Max.

It makes Jungkook laugh again only to get a murderous glare from Taehyung.

“No.  He’s not my boyfriend, or my husband, or my soulmate,” hearing that last one hurts Jungkook the most. “Stop being nosy! Hang on a second.”

“Jungkook…what the fuck are you doing here?” Taehyung whispers leaning into Jungkook. He motions for him to follow him out into the hallway.  Jungkook goes to remove his mask…

“Don’t! Don’t touch it.  Leave it on.  Everyone on this floor is immunocompromised.  You need to keep that on at all times or you could make them even sicker than they already are.” Taehyung turns away from Jungkook looking down the hall.  He can see the kids who are still mobile standing at the door waiting for him to come back.  “What are you even doing here?”

“I wanted to apologize—“

“And you couldn’t wait until I was home to do that? Here Jungkook? This is not the place to bring in our petty bullshit.” Taehyung sighs.  He’s tired.  Exhausted really with the push and pull of whatever this is with Jungkook.

“It’s not my intention to come here and make anyone uncomfortable.  I just wanted to apologize for being a selfish prick. But—why didn’t you tell me this is what you do on Wednesdays.”

“Because I shouldn’t have to.  I don’t need to justify my own personal time to you.  And you can’t be here.  This place, these kids.  They’re special.  And it takes a really special person to understand what goes on here and to know how to behave around these kids. I’m sorry Jungkook, but I don’t think that’s you. The things that go on in this unit…you’ll never be able to understand.  I can’t have you here bringing all your baggage to these kids. They have enough of it.  And they’ll have enough to last them a lifetime.  Believe me.  I can’t—I can’t have you talking to them how you talk to me.  I need you to leave.”

“Please. Tae please.  I’m sorry.  And I know I’ve exhausted all my chances.  All my apologies, but I need you to know that I’m trying.  I know it doesn’t seem like I am, but I am trying so fucking hard to not be that person anymore.  And it’s tough.  Because I don’t know how to be otherwise.  I have to relearn how to be a completely different person and there are times that old Jungkook comes out because I’m still not fully there yet where I know how to control him. Me.  But I also need you to put me in my place.  Call me out the moment I start pulling that shit again.”

“I shouldn’t have to do that!”

“I know you shouldn’t, but I’m telling you I need it.  To be better, I need to be called out.  I need for you to tell me in that very second how I’m making you feel so that I can draw it back and work on it. But I am trying.  God, if you only knew how hard I’m trying to be a better person for you.  A better alpha.  I’m trying so hard Tae. Please. Please don’t give up on me just yet.”

Taehyung looks down the hall where the kids are all looking at them.

“Yeah Tae, don’t give up on him yet,” the nurse at the head station exclaims, clasping her hands together.

“Great, yeah, thanks Nadine.” Taehyung groans. “Fine.  You can stay.  But the first instant, the first second, I see you even sending so much as an eye roll to any of these kids I swear to you Jungkook, I will never talk to you again.”

Jungkook crosses his heart with his finger and smiles, making his eyes turn into happy crescents.  “I’ll be on my best behavior! I promise you! Not just with them, but with you too.  I want to be good to you Tae.”

Taehyung knows he probably shouldn’t, but for some reason he believes Jungkook.  Because he’s really never going to forget that in his worst moment Jungkook was able to give him the comfort no one else could.

“For the kids on this unit, they all are in various stages of many very different cancers. I come here every Wednesday and I read to them.  I play games with them.  Basically, just hang out.  I want my time with them to be as normal as possible…considering the circumstances.  I want them to temporarily forget they’re sick when they’re with me.  Because sometimes just being able to forget even if it’s for a second—it really makes a difference on what kind of state your mind will be in that day. To just be able to be normal for an hour and not be a sick cancer patient.  It really is everything. Come on,”

Taehyung leads Jungkook down the hall again. “I let them lead. How ever they may feel that day and what they want to do.  It’s all up to them.  It’s basically meeting them where they’re at that day and how sick they feel.  Sometimes you feel like you’re on top of the world and not even cancer can beat you down and there are other times when—those are the bad days.  So I let them be.”

Jungkook is starting to be concerned.  Because he’s really not sure how much of everything Taehyung is saying is from his experience in volunteering, his mom’s own battle with cancer…or Taehyung’s own illness.

“You ready?”

Jungkook nods. “Let’s do it!”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“You did great Jungkook! The kids really loved you. You really are so lovable when you aren’t being a complete asshole.”

Jungkook smiles.  “That was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had in my life.  Those kids are amazing and so fucking funny.  I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that much.”

Taehyung pouts, “Hey! I make you laugh tons!”

“I know you do Princess.” Jungkook feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and he takes it out and glances at it.  Namjoon.  Again.  He’s going to kill Jungkook.

They are interrupted by a loud bell ringing in the hall down near the nurse’s station. “Oh my God! Jungkook! Come on!” Taehyung takes Jungkook’s hand locking their fingers together dragging him towards the crowd and loud commotion. 

“What’s going on?” asks Jungkook.

“They have a tradition.  Whenever someone goes home cancer free or their cancer goes into remission, they ring a bell as they leave the unit,” Taehyung smiles proudly looking at the young girl who is laughing in her wheelchair. 

“Remission?” Jungkook asks.

Taehyung nods. “Remission happens when cancer treatment reduces or eliminates the amount of cancer in your body. It can be complete remission, which means there isn't any sign of cancer; or partial remission, meaning the cancer has decreased or stopped growing. Sometimes remission can last months or years.”

“You mean it isn’t cured? It can come back?” Jungkook asks frowning. Taehyung ignores the question and instead focuses on the celebration in front of him.

“Woohoo!!! Congratulations Audra!!!” yells Taehyung whistling and hollering with the rest of the unit.  Jungkook starts to clap and cheer as well, the energy becoming infectious.

The bell chimes loudly over and over again.  Taehyung smiles and closes his eyes.

‘You did it Tae! We knew you could!’

“Tae…Tae?”

Taehyung opens his eyes and blinks. Jungkook is staring at him, concerned. 

“Huh?”

“You ok? I lost you there for a second.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.  Want to go and get some lunch?”

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Jungkook asks reaching up to move the hair out of Taehyung’s eyes. 

“Fine. Lunch?”

“Sure, but I’m buying.”

“Duh, of course you are.  After yelling at me the way you did, you’re buying for a very long time,” Taehyung jokes heading to the elevator. 

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“When I said I’d buy you lunch I meant real food Princess,” Jungkook smiles at Taehyung enjoying the look of pure bliss on his face.

“This is food.  Ice cream is food.  Besides you were really mean to me, so I deserve an ice cream.”

“Do you know you pout like that? Is that something you do without even thinking or do you purposely use it for evil?”

Taehyung laughs, “Are you calling me an evil mastermind.  Am I a Bond villain?  I’d rather be the Bond girl to be honest, but I always did like the Dark side better than being a Jedi.”

“Eat your ice cream you brat.” Jungkook takes a deep breath and stares at Taehyung. “Tae? How long have you been doing this? Volunteering like this?”

Taehyung hesitates.  He puts his cup down and pushes it away from himself. “You said I was what made you take boxing seriously.  You pushed me to do this.”

Jungkook mouth opens in shock.  “What do you mean?”

“You told me I should cry.  Get it out and that the next day I should get my shit together.  This was the only way I could think of to try to make sense of any of it.  I needed to stay busy.  But I was too young.  I was told that I could start volunteering once I turned 14. So, I did.  I started going on Saturdays to read to patients in the cancer units. I did up until I got sick and had to stop.”

Taehyung had to stop everything.  His volunteering, his job, medical school.  His life took a pause that he feels hasn’t fully hit play yet.  Still running in slow motion waiting to see if the rewind button is still an option. 

Jungkook can see the visible uncomfortableness Taehyung is displaying.  He can smell the shift in the scent.  After what happened, he doesn’t want to press any more buttons. 

“So? Are we going back to the kids after lunch?”

“Um, no.  There’s somewhere else I usually go on Wednesday afternoons, but it’s on a different floor.”

Jungkook notices Taehyung isn’t making eye contact.  He’s biting his lip.  “Is it somewhere I can come with you?”

“I’m not sure Jungkook.  You can come, but you have to let me check first before you go in.”

Jungkook nods. 

Taehyung checks his watch and gets up from the table.  “We should get going actually.  I don’t ever like to be late for them.”

Jungkook gets up and follows Taehyung through the hospital.  Taehyung is quiet and distant. They make their way through and off an elevator. Jungkook looks at the giant sign hanging above the entrance to floor 9A: Center for Breast Cancer. 

Jungkook looks as Taehyung enters the area and takes a deep breath.  Jungkook keeps quiet as he follows Taehyung in. 

“Hi Beth.”

“Hey Tae,” the front desk receptionist says to Taehyung as she answers the phone. Jungkook follows Taehyung down a long hallway and stops abruptly when Taehyung turns to him finally making eye contact.  But Jungkook wishes he hadn’t.  He seems so lost.  So empty.  He’s never seen Taehyung this lost before. 

“Tae—“

“Jungkook, I need you to wait here.  I told you; I need to ask and make sure it’s ok for you to come in.  No promises. And if he says no, you can’t throw a tantrum.  I need you to just accept it and go home. Got it?”

Jungkook nods.

Taehyung disappears into the patient room they stopped at.  He stays for a bit and then appears again.  “He said it’s ok,” Taehyung holds his hand out for Jungkook to take.  He guides him into the room.  Jungkook walks in and sees an older woman in a hospital bed.  Several machines are attached to her in one way or another.  She has a large tube in her mouth, and she appears to be sleeping.

“Jungkook, this is Gary.” Jungkook turns to see an older man, what appears to be in his late 60s.  Jungkook is guessing the woman is around the same age. 

“Hi Jungkook, it’s so good to finally get to meet you!  We’ve heard so much about you from Taehyung.”

Jungkook turns surprised and looks at Taehyung who is blushing.  

“Don’t worry it got better as the time went on.  We were a little worried at the beginning I have to say.  Right Emma,” Gary chuckles and looks at the woman in the hospital bed who is motionless other than the movement of her chest, up and down in a rhythmic motion.

“It’s nice to meet you Sir.”

Gary moves towards the woman and caresses her cheek. “This here is my wife. My Emma.”

Jungkook looks at Taehyung who is back to being distant and quiet. 

“She’s my soulmate and my life.  She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

“The most beautiful Gary,” Taehyung responds.  “Have you had anything to eat yet? You should go ahead.  We’ll be here with her.  I brought the book you requested for her.  I’ll read to you Em, while Gary goes and gets something to eat.” Taehyung pulls a chair closer to the hospital bed. 

“Thanks Tae.  I’ll see you in an hour.”

Gary leaves the room.  Jungkook stays frozen in his spot. 

“She has breast cancer.  It metastasized.  Do you know what that is?” Jungkook shakes his head. “It’s when cancer cells break away from where they first formed, it travels through the blood or lymph system, and forms new tumors in other parts of the body. More specifically for Em, in her brain.”

Jungkook can see Taehyung is breathing heavily.  He watches as he takes Emma’s hand in his and holds it tightly. “It’s the same thing that happened to my mom.”

Jungkook’s breath hitches.  “Emma stopped breathing and they hooked her up to all these machines to keep her alive.” He turns and looks at Jungkook.  “Come. Sit down.  I come every Wednesday afternoon to read to her while Gary gets a much-needed break. They never had any kids so it’s just them.  She was so funny Jungkook.  She used to be so funny before she became…like this. She used to give me requests of books she liked.  Once and a while she would let me choose, but she hates horror,” Taehyung caresses her hand with his thumb.  “Now Gary chooses for her.” Taehyung takes a deep breath and takes the book in his hands.  “Ok Emma.  Let’s start.”

📖“The dress I wore was lavender taffeta, and each time I breathed it rustled, and now that I was sucking in air to breathe out shame it sounded like crepe paper on the back of hearses.”   

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook and Taehyung took turns reading to Emma.  There were times where Taehyung passed the book to Jungkook, breathing a little heavier than Jungkook liked to see.  In those moments Jungkook would take the book, but also grip onto Taehyung’s hand offering a small quiet reassurance that he wasn’t alone.

The door to the hospital room opens and Gary walks in. An instant smile filling his face when his eyes fall on his mate.  “Still smells like lavender,” he muses.  “How did it go?”

“Great.  We got through a good portion of the book.” Taehyung rises from his seat and gives Emma a warm smile.  “We can continue it next week.”

“Actually Taehyung.  I wanted to talk about that.  Son, maybe you should sit down.”

Jungkook looks at Taehyung.  Burnt apple pie starting to fill the air.  He watches Taehyung’s whole-body tense.

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Tae, please. Have a seat—“

“No, it’s ok.  What’s going on?” Jungkook’s legs move involuntarily and before he knows it, he’s at Taehyung’s side, arm around his waist, holding him tightly. 

“It’s time Tae.”

Taehyung’s knees shake.  He leans back into Jungkook who’s hold tightens even more. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.  You out of everyone doesn’t need an explanation son.  It’s time.”

Taehyung looks from Gary to Emma then back at Gary.  His eyes blur as silent tears start to fall.  “Y—you can’t.  If you—then you.  Why?”

“I told you.  We’re ready.  I sat here last night Tae, and I did what I always do.  I sat and I just watched her.  Beautiful as the first time I met her when we were kids on that amusement ride.  And do you know what I realized.  This really wasn’t my Em anymore.  My soulmate, my Omega.  Emma was vibrant, and strong, and so smart. She volunteered at animal shelters, made quilts, worked to help our communities lesser heard find their voice.  She was an advocate.  A leader.  This isn’t Emma Tae.  She wouldn’t want to live like this because it’s not living.”

Jungkook feels Taehyung shake in his hold.  He leans in and whispers softly in his ear, “Breathe Tae, breathe.”

Taehyung let’s out a shaky breath.  “B—but y—you know what that means for y—you. Why? Why would you want to just give up like that?”

“I don’t see it that way.  Giving up.  I met her when I was 5.  I’ve loved her my entire life. We’ve traveled and seen the world.  We were successful.  We loved as hard and as real as we could.  I have no regrets Tae.  I don’t regret meeting her when we were kids.  I don’t regret finding out what that would mean for our soulmate bond.”

Jungkook frowns.  What that would mean for their soulmate bond?

“I don’t regret having her as a soulmate.  I could never regret the time I’ve spent with her.  And knowing this is it for us…I’m happy.  I’m choosing this.  I’m ready to be reunited with her in the afterlife Taehyung. I don’t want to see her like this anymore.  I don’t want to be apart from her anymore.  It’s time.”

Taehyung takes a deep breath and wipes furiously at his eyes. He walks up to Gary and holds his hand out. Gary stares down at it and pulls Taehyung into a hug.  “I need you to know what you’ve meant to us.  What you meant to her.  She talked about you all the time.  She thought the world of you Taehyung.  And you have to promise me you’ll not be too mad at me for this.  Just like you forgave your dad for his choice, please understand mine.  You’re the one person who can understand why I’m doing this. And don’t give up on love Tae.  On your soulmate.  I know you’re afraid.  But it’s wonderful Taehyung.  To have that person.  To love and be loved.  It’s the most wonderful thing.”

Taehyung pulls back and chokes back a sob.  He turns away from Gary not saying a word.  He quietly walks to Emma, his sobs the only thing that can he heard in the room.  Jungkook wants to run over and wrap him in his arms.  Hold him as tightly as he can.  He watches as Taehyung lifts Emma’s hand and gives it a gentle kiss. “I’ll see you on the other side Emma.” He turns and quickly makes his way out of the room.

Jungkook moves towards the door but is stopped by a soft hand on his wrist.  “You’re his soulmate.  You’re Taehyung’s soulmate.”

Jungkook gulps.  He nods and watches Gary smile back at him.  “Take care of him.  He can be reserved.  Close off at times, but he has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen.  He just needs a little extra reassurance in love.  Give him that.  He’ll get there.”

Jungkook doesn’t know why he does it.  It’s his first time ever meeting this man, but he charges forward and hugs him.  Gary hugs him back, smiling. “Now go.  Go and get your Omega.  Leave me with mine.”

“Thank you,” Jungkook says and leaves the room looking up and down the hall for Taehyung.  He runs up to the nursing station, “Did you see Taehyung?”

“He got on the elevator.  I’m guessing he went downstairs.”

“Thanks.”

Jungkook stands impatiently in the elevator watching the numbers go down as slowly as possible.  He finally reaches the bottom floor and finds Taehyung leaning against the side of the building outside.

“Tae?”

Taehyung wipes his eyes and sniffles. “Yeah? Ready to go? We can have the Uber drop you off first at the gym if you want to get a late workout in.  I know this took the whole day and Nam—“

“Taehyung…” Jungkook reaches out to take Taehyung’s hand, but Taehyung pushes it away.  “Don’t.  Don’t ask me anything.  I don’t want to talk about any of what happened back there.”

“Taehyung—“

“I fucking said no! Why are you the only one who’s allowed to dictate what goes on.  To be angry and tell me to fuck off, but I can’t do the same to you! I don’t want to fucking talk about it Jungkook!”

Jungkook breathes in and out. He’s trying to hold back as much as he can.  He’s measuring his words carefully. “I am trying Tae.  But you can be so fucking frustrating! I’ve told you things that I never would’ve imagine telling anyone. But you refuse to open up even a little bit.  It goes both ways.  If I try, you have to try as well, and it means letting me in too!”

Taehyung glares angrily at Jungkook.  “Let you in? What exactly do you want to know huh? Want to know what that was up there? Fine I’ll tell you!” Taehyung gets right into Jungkook’s face.

“Emma and Gary are soulmates, but they’re not just regular soulmates, no.  They’re super soulmates as my best friend likes to affectionately call it,” Taehyung scoffs. “They met when they were 5 before either of them presented, before any one is supposed to have met their soulmate.  But they met, and they sealed their bond all the way back then.  They didn’t have the universe choose. They chose each other themselves, and maybe it’s the universe’s way of correcting it, or cursing them, getting back at the couple for going against its wishes. Maybe it’s that these two fucking doomed souls needed each other so much in that moment that they latched on to each other. Who the fuck knows.  You know what I do know.  That the second they pull Em from all those machines, Gary is signing his fucking death sentence.”

Jungkook feels his heart rate increase.  He feels nauseous. “What?”

“Yeah.  Those super soulmates, their bonds are linked unlike other soulmates.  If one dies so does the other.  If something happens to one the other can’t live alone.  It becomes unbearable.  Painful.”

Painful.  Unbearable.  Like the pain Jungkook and Taehyung felt when they were at their worst recently.  Jungkook is going to be sick.

“Gary is in essence committing suicide.  He knows the second she dies, he will too.  This fucking bond, this soulmate bullshit! It’s a fucking curse! It wrecks lives.  Can you imagine?! Knowing that you found your soulmate but that you’ve doomed them to death.  How could anyone find that beautiful?! A bond that would make—“ Taehyung angrily sheds tears, “it would make a father choose to go and leave their son alone!”

Jungkook’s heart drops.  “Tae—“

“No! Fuck you Jungkook! Fuck off and leave me alone!” Jungkook moves closer to Taehyung who angrily pushes him back.  “Don’t follow me! Leave me alone Jungkook!”

Taehyung runs off leaving Jungkook breathless and motionless. It’s what Yoongi was hesitant to tell Jungkook.  It’s why Taehyung is so against soulmates and the soulmate bond.  It’s the reason his father passed away a week after his mother.

“We have that same bond,” Jungkook says, body shaking, terrified.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook sits in his living room staring at the wall and occasionally at the clock on his mantle.  12:37am. He came home and sat on the couch.  In this same spot and hasn’t moved.  That was hours ago.  He can’t stop having Taehyung’s words replay over and over in his head.  In his heart.  It all makes sense.  Why he becomes so sick when their bond is “threatened” as Yoongi had said.  Death sentence is what Taehyung had called it. Jungkook exhales heavily.  He should want to run away just as Taehyung had said, yet…all he wants to do is run towards Taehyung. Hold Taehyung.  Take care of Taehyung…no matter the consequences.

He jumps when he hears his doorbell ring.  He walks to the door with his feet feeling like lead.  Like the heavy punching bags he practices on. He looks into the peephole and gasps.  He opens the door to find a shivering, shaking Taehyung holding himself, standing on his doorstep.

“Tae?”

“J—J—Jungkook—“

Jungkook pulls him in and holds him.  He tries to hold him as close as he can trying to stop him from shaking. “Tae? You’re freezing.”

“I’ve been walking around.  I—didn’t want to go home.”

“You’ve been walking around all night? All these hours? Tae, what the fuck! Come in here.”

Taehyung let’s Jungkook pull him in.  He doesn’t even know how he ended up here. He’s been walking for hours.  He feels numb.  But he knew what he needed.  What he wanted the most in that moment. Jungkook.

“Sit,” Jungkook says motioning to the couch.  He leaves and comes back with a large fluffy blanket that he places around Taehyung.  He rubs his hands up and down Taehyung’s arms trying to warm him up.  Taehyung closes his eyes and starts to cry. “I’m sorry.  Jungkook, I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean to be mean to you like I was.  All anyone has ever been is mean to you and I never want to be that.  I never want to make you feel like any of those people made you feel.”

Jungkook shakes his head and smiles at Taehyung cupping his face. “Shut up. Stop it.  You don’t need to apologize.  You could never be like that.  Can you wait here for me?  I’ll be right back ok?” Taehyung nods and cuddles into the blanket.

Jungkook comes back with a cup of hot tea. “Here Tae. Drink this. It’ll calm you down. Warm you up.” Jungkook sits next to Taehyung and puts his arm around Taehyung.

“Jungkook—I need you to understand why I feel like this about bonds.  Soulmates.”

“Tae, you don’t have to say anything.  Explain anything to me—“

“No, I do.  You’re right.  You are trying and I need to do the same.  I want to be more open with you.  Because…you mean a lot to me and—“

“You mean a lot to me too Tae.”

Taehyung gives him a teary smile and takes a deep breath.

“My mom was always so healthy Jungkook.  We would joke that she was like a robot.  Like rarely even a cold.   But then she started to feel really tired.  More than the normal amount.  But she sort of just ignored it.  She went to her annual physical like she always did.  And they found a lump in her breast.  But the doctor assured her it was nothing to worry about, but that they would get imaging and rule anything bad out.  Well, the imaging only made more questions which led to a biopsy.”

Taehyung holds the blanket tightly around himself. “Stage 3 breast cancer.  The tumor had already started to metastasize and was spreading into other parts of her body.  My mom who was never sick was suddenly diagnosed with terminal cancer.  They tried chemo and radiation.  A bunch of experimental shit where the side effects are always horrible and don’t work for shit.”

Jungkook pulls Taehyung closer as he takes a small sip of his tea. The warm liquid soothing his throat and calming his nerves.

“I knew my dad loved my mom Jungkook, but it wasn’t until she got sick that I really really saw it.  He was by her side 24/7.  He quit his job dipping into their savings instead. He was dedicated to her.  He fed her, bathed her, cared for her in every way and not once complained.  Called her beautiful every day even after she had lost her hair and weighed next to nothing.  He would look in her eyes and tell her the cheesiest lines.  Look her straight faced and say things like ‘The moon and the stars don’t shine as bright as the beauty reflected in your eyes,” Taehyung chuckles making Jungkook smile as well. 

“The cancer spread fast and without any fucking remorse.  She was in and out of the hospital until the hospital became her permanent home.  But neither she nor my dad wanted that for her so they decided whatever time she had left she would spend it where she had always been the happiest.  In her home, with her family, surrounded by her books.” Taehyung bites his lip and swallows a sob. 

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

Ryeo opens her eyes and feels the sunlight shine through the moon window above her head.  It’s moments like these she’s thankful she had this installed when they bought the house.  “Tae, Baby, you going to come over here or just stand and stare like your dad always does,” Ryeo teases.  She turns her head and sees her beautiful boy.  When did he grow up so fast and yet…not fast enough.  She tries to put out of her mind the negative, angering thoughts she’s been having lately.  The ones that tell her she’s never going to see him fully grown.  Never see if her hunch was right about him being an Omega, and she will never see her grand babies.  She bites her lip, hard. She tastes copper and breaths in.  Not today.  Today is going to be a good day.  She’s going to make sure of it.

“Yoongi’s going home.  He wanted to say goodbye,” Taehyung replies, big brown eyes staring widely at his mother.

“Yoongi,” Ryeo says loudly, “get in here.” She lifts herself up slowly in bed, grimacing in pain. “Taehyungie, where’s your dad?”

“Making you lunch.”

Yoongi peeks his head in and looks at Taehyung than at Ryeo.  Ryeo smiles and waves him in.  “You’re going home Yoongs?”

“Yes ma’am,” Yoongi replies entering the room and moving closer to Ryeo on the bed.  Yoongi had been saying goodbye to Ryeo everyday for weeks when he was about to go home.  When he lived right next door.  Something he’d never done before.  Yoongi’s very prominent fear being that she would pass away at night, and he didn’t say goodbye. 

“Alright then, come here and give me a hug.” Ryeo opens her arms widely and Yoongi melts into her hug.  “Yoongs,” she whispers, “you’re going to take care of him, of our Taehyungie aren’t you? Always watch over him? You’ll do that for me, won’t you?”

Yoongi pulls back, bottom lip shaking.  “Yes ma’am.”

“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow, Yoongs.”

Yoongi nods and turns to look at Taehyung.  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Tae.”

Taehyung nods and wraps his arms around himself, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. Ryeo looks at him and smiles.

“Taehyungie, will you read for me? Will you sit with your mom and read for her?”

“Yes,” Taehyung smiles widely and runs to the bookcase straight to the book he knows she wants to read from. The only one she ever ones to read from. 

Ryeo moves the blanket making room for him to cuddle in which he quickly does. 

“Any chapter mom?”

“Any chapter. From anywhere.  You pick.”

Taehyung opens at random, eyes skimming the page.  He smiles and starts to read:

“He wanted what evil men always want: to have power and use that power to make mischief. Being a King did not interest him because the heads of Kings all too often found their way to spikes on castle walls when things went wrong. But the advisors to Kings…the spinners in the shadows…such people usually melted away like evening shadows at dawning as soon as the headsman’s axe started to fall.”

Ryeo lays her head back and listens to her son read.  She has been so incredibly lucky.  She not only found the love of her life but made the most perfect example of that love in Taehyung. 

‘Please God, please protect him from anything that could harm him.  Please.  You can take me, but always protect my precious boy.’

“Mom? Are you in pain?” Taehyung asks, fear can be heard in his quivering voice. 

“No, Tae. I—I’m just happy to have you here with me, reading to me,” she replies, wiping her tears. “I love it when you read to me Taehyungie.  It’s become my most favorite thing.”

“And I love reading to you too.  I’ll always read to you,” Taehyung says hugging his mother and cuddling in close. 

“Tae?”

“Yes?”

“Will you make your mom a promise?”

Taehyung looks up at his mother and in that moment, he really does have to agree with his dad.  His mom is so very pretty. “Yes.”

“Love, Taehyungie.  Love.  And when you think you’ve loved enough, love even harder. Until you can’t see straight.  Because when you love that hard, when you put out that kind of love to the world you are bound to get it back. And you, my precious baby boy, deserve all the love this world has to offer you.”

Taehyung nods.  He cuddles back into his mother and begins to read again.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung sets the teacup on Jungkook’s coffee table and wipes his eyes. “Her cancer progressed and spread even faster after that. Her speech started slurring, she would forget words.  Her motor functioning was affected and then…” Taehyung takes another deep breath, “there was a day where she couldn’t remember my name.  She was looking right at me, and I was unrecognizable to her.  The doctor said the cancer had spread to her brain and it was only a matter of time before—” Taehyung blows a large puff of air out of his mouth and closes his eyes.  “She died on a Wednesday morning.”

Jungkook’s eyes snap to Taehyung. ‘She died on a Wednesday morning.’ It’s why he’s so adamant that his volunteer day be Wednesday.  That the day belong to him.  Jungkook gives Taehyung a small squeeze encouraging him to continue if he wants to.

“But then something really bizarre happened.  It was almost immediate after she took her last breath.  I saw it Jungkook, I swear I did.  It was almost like the thread linking their hearts together snapped and my dad bent over and screamed in agony.  He was distraught, sad, even angry when she was sick, but when she died it became despair.  Painful, anguished despair.  It started with the chest pain…”

Jungkook sits motionless next to Taehyung listening and hanging on his every word. “Then came the screams.  They were filled with so much pain and desperation.  He would claw at his chest and say his heart was dead.  He spent that first night without my mom screaming and yelling her name nonstop.  So much so that his throat bled.”

Jungkook’s whole body shudders. “Jin convinced doctors and specialist to come see him that week.  But no one could find anything physically or even medically wrong with him.”

Jungkook’s mind can’t help wander to…

‘Joon there’s something else,” Jungkook says worriedly.  “Do you remember a little over a year ago when I got really sick? I couldn’t get out of bed and you, and your parents called a doctor, and he basically told you that I was fine.  There was nothing physically or medically wrong with me?’

“They couldn’t offer a real explanation to what was happening to him.  It wasn’t until Jin called a priest, a priest! That’s how desperate we were.  And we ended up getting our first clue of what this could be.  He said he had seen this before, once. And that he had heard about it occurring, but it was very very rare.  He asked Jin if my parents had ever met each other when they were kids.  Before they had presented and before they found each other as soulmates.  Jin of course had told him yes.  My parents had met in a supermarket when my mom had wandered off.  She was lost and crying her eyes out.  My dad saw her and held her hand.  He helped her find my grandparents and that was that.  They met and never saw each other again until they met years later and realized they were soulmates. The priest explained that apparently the bond is started by the two people themselves. They basically tell the universe a big fuck you.  And the universe in turn responds by cursing them.”

Jungkook feels the bile rise.  He gulps and slowly steadies his breathing.

“He would scream in pain day and night Jungkook.  I was afraid to leave him and yet at the same time it was driving me insane.  The constant screams of misery and sorrow.  I really did think my dad was going to make my mind snap. And then…”

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

Taehyung holds his hands over his ears and shuts his eyes squeezing them tightly.  His father is still screaming.  Another day of painful, anguished sobs filling his house.  Taehyung remembers when the only thing that could be heard here was laughter.  Those times seem so foreign to him now. But, just as suddenly as the screams had started, they stopped.  Yoongi and Taehyung were in Taehyung’s bedroom when everything had gone eerily quiet. 

“Tae?” Yoongi asks as he watches his best friend go rigid.

They both make their way to Taehyung’s parents’ room where Jin is crying uncontrollably on the floor by his sister’s bed where Taehyung’s father lay.  He looks unrecognizable.  He looks so weak.  So very different to the Han who was constantly taking them places and playing video games with them. He looks on death’s door.

“Dad?” Taehyung moves cautiously closer to the bed, looking at Jin as he walks by who looks catatonic on the floor.  “Dad?” Taehyung repeats.

“Taehyungie…” his father replies, but its barely audible.  His voice is raw and hoarse from the nonstop screaming and weak from everything else. “I’m sorry, son.  Please don’t hate me, but I—I just can’t. I’m ready.  I’m ready to be with her again.”

“Dad?” Taehyung shakily says as his voice falters, a sob building in his chest, steadily rising to his throat. “Dad?!” He reaches for his hand and its so cold.  His father is so cold and pale. “Please…please dad please don’t leave me a—a—lone,” the sob now spilling over.  Taehyung shakes his father violently.  “Don’t leave! Please! She’s gone, but I’m still here!”

His father’s eyes glaze over, and he looks over Taehyung’s shoulder. “Ryeo.  My beautiful Ryeo.  Doesn’t she look pretty Tae?”

Taehyung looks back and all he sees is Yoongi who is sobbing uncontrollably.  “There’s no one there! Dad! Don’t do this to me! Please. I’m still here!”

“I love you Taehyungie.  Be strong. Keep fighting. Please don’t hate me.  I love…you.”

Taehyung lets out a small breath.  He watches the life leave his father’s body.  He starts to shake him violently again. “WAKE UP! WAKE UP! I’M STILL HERE! SHE’S GONE, BUT I’M STILL HERE!” he screams raining blow after blow on his father’s lifeless body.

Yoongi runs and kneels down next to Jin. “JIN! JIN! SNAP OUT OF IT! TAEHYUNG! WE HAVE TO HELP TAEHYUNG!”

Jin blinks and finally focuses in on Yoongi.  He starts to come back to reality, ears falling on the screams of his nephew next to him.

“I’M STILL FUCKING HERE! SHE’S GONE, BUT I’M STILL HERE! PLEASE!”

Jin gets up and wraps his arms around Taehyung, pulling him back. “Tae! Come on, let’s go.  We need to get you out of here! Yoongi! Help me!” Yoongi springs into action and takes Taehyung wrists helping Jin pull him out of the room.

“NO! HE’LL WAKE BACK UP! HE JUST NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND THAT I’M STILL HERE! I STILL NEED HIM TOO! PLEASE DAD WAKE UP!”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung chokes down another sob.  “I hated him for so long after that.  Maybe there’s a part of me that still does.  He followed her and left me behind.  But then again that fucking curse.  That bond wouldn’t have let him make any other choice.  I—forgive him now.  I spent too long angry about so many things.  And they all got amplified when I got sick, but at the same time it made me reflect on everything that had happened.  And I was able to forgive him.  But it doesn’t change how I feel about that bond Jungkook.  About soulmates.  Imagine someone getting stuck with me. I might as well send them to death by lethal injection because that’s what being my soulmate is.  A fucking death sentence.”

“Why would you say that?”

Taehyung scoffs letting out a frustrated groan.  “Jungkook, I’m healthy now, but what about a year from now.  Two years from now…5! At some point I could get really sick and…where would that leave my soulmate if our bond isn’t a normal bond.  I couldn’t do that to someone, especially my soulmate. I’m—I’m not worth all of that.”

Jungkook turns and cups Taehyung’s face. “Listen to me Princess, I know I promised to never say anything mean to you again, so with all due respect, I’m going to need you to shut the fuck up. Your soulmate is fucking lucky to have you. Believe me.  And I know this isn’t what you want to hear right now, but at least for Gary…He made his choice from the very beginning…to the very end.  And he was happy with that choice.”

“And what you think my dad was the same?”

“No, I don’t know Tae.  But I know that whoever your soulmate is, if it so happens that you find out you’re super soulmates…they would make the easy choice. You.  They would choose you a hundred times over even knowing what that might mean for them.”

“Are you crazy?! Why? Why would they do that!”

“Because you’re Taehyung.  You’re silly. And funny.  And you watch and read really weird shit. You mumble book quotes under your breath when you get nervous. You say a prayer every time a Red Sox game is about to start. You say hello to every single dog you see on the street.  I’m convinced you’re the only person in the world who likes Swedish Fish and that’s only because you can’t taste them. And…you’re fucking beautiful.  Like breathtakingly, mind numbingly beautiful. Believe me.  Regardless of what kind of bond you end up with, your soulmate loves you. They will always choose you…no matter what.”

Taehyung closes his eyes and bites his lip as hard as he can.  He tries desperately not to cry anymore.  Jungkook gets up and moves the blanket off Taehyung’s shoulders.  He pulls his hoodie off and over his head. Without saying a word, he carefully places it on Taehyung who is struggling to keep it all in.  Jungkook bends down rubbing his hands on Taehyung’s arms.

He looks into Taehyung’s eyes. His sad, glossy, tear-filled eyes and says, “Now go ahead.  Cry.  I’ll sit right here and let you do it. Get it out. Because after today you’re going to get your shit together and be strong.  So tonight, you let it all out.”

Taehyung gasps as he does.  He lets out a loud gut-wrenching sob. Taehyung cuddles into Jungkook’s hoodie.  His tears flow without stopping.  Jungkook sits next to him and hold’s Taehyung’s hand tightly and he feels a bolt that shoots straight to his heart. Taehyung keeps sobbing, hand in hand with Jungkook, feeling the most at home he’s ever felt.

Chapter Text

The sun starts to rise greeting a new dawn over Boston.  Jungkook runs along the scenic Charles River, soaking in the beautiful view.  He takes breaths in and out. He can see the mist of his breath on this cold morning. 

“Jungkook!...for fuck’s sake wait up!”

Jungkook smiles and looks over his shoulder.  He sees Taehyung bent over gasping for breaths.  Jungkook shakes his head and jogs back to where Taehyung is very dramatically complaining. “Why did I ever agree to go running with you! You know I can’t keep up with you!”

“Because I like having you chase after me, it’s almost like I’m finally running and getting away from you Princess,” but the comment isn’t malicious or biting.  There’s a fondness, a playful teasing behind it. 

“Fuck this, I’m taking my car next time.  I’ll chase you in that.”

Jungkook stares at Taehyung’s face, flushed completely red from the run, sweat beating down…he looks so damn pretty. “It’s good for you, to run.  It’s good for your health.”

Taehyung snorts, “Jogging is good for my health, not whatever you do.  You’re like the Million-Dollar Man.  And I am no Jaime Sommers,” Taehyung says regaining his composure.

“Million dollar who?”

“Never mind. When I agreed to come running with you, I thought I would get a cool training montage, iconic soundtrack playing in the background, then triumphantly end it at the top of the steps as I pump my fists.”

Jungkook keels over laughing loudly. “You thought you were getting your own personal Rocky training reel?! Princess, come on.  Seriously, I can’t with you,” Jungkook says, wiping tears of laughter as Taehyung groans.

“Don’t make fun of me! I’ve never worked with a boxer before or seen them train for a fight.  Don’t you know me well enough by now that my only link to anything is pop culture and books?! I demand a refund on this fictional movie I created in my head.”

Jungkook sighs, again utterly amused and endeared by Taehyung.  “Come on, Balboa.  Let’s head to the gym. Joon is probably waiting for us.”

“In an Uber?” Taehyung asks hopefully.

Jungkook reaches down and takes Taehyung’s hand and squeezes it, “No! We’re running back!” He lets go and takes off laughing, leaving a groaning and whining Taehyung.

“Jungkookie! Come on! Wait up!” Taehyung yells trying his best to keep up with the alpha.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook adjusts his headgear then continues to work the punch mitts with Namjoon while Hobi, Jimin, and Taehyung look on.  Jungkook punches from his new and improved stance, making a conscious effort to let go of his old, frightened cat position.  Every so often, Namjoon swings at Jungkook’s head with the mitts, but Jungkook is quick to duck and dodges out of the way.

“Keep your fucking hands up Jungkook!” screams Hobi from the side.

Namjoon picks up the pace of the drill twice as fast as they were just doing.  Jungkook hears a cell phone go off and recognizes Taehyung’s ring tone of Tubular Bells go off.  Taehyung has been reading Jungkook, William Peter Blatty’s, The Exorcist.  They’ve entered a routine where after a grueling day of training, Taehyung sets up the ice bath for him and while Jungkook is immersed in it letting his muscles rest, Taehyung reads from the novel.

“The Exorcist? Like the movie?” Jungkook had asked, teeth chattering while he sat in the ice cold metal tub in the gym.

“Yup! It’s the novel the movie is based off of.  We’re going to read it together,” Taehyung had said with a huge smile on his face as he settled on a stool next to the tub. “Just sit back and listen to the sweet sounds of my voice while we learn about demons and scary as fuck possessions.”

Jungkook laughed as he does with all of Taehyung’s endearing antics.  They’ve been doing this every single night…except last night when Taehyung left early because he had plans with Yoongi.  And Jungkook doesn’t care much anymore when he and Yoongi are together, but he does care that they went to Sligo’s on a Friday night when he knows for a fact that asshole alpha Tom is working the bar.  He hates that guy with a passion. And Taehyung can say what he wants.  That they slept together once, and it was nothing.  Tom definitely doesn’t see it that way and most certainly has a crush on Taehyung. 

When Jungkook first met him, he fantasized all night on different ways he could murder that annoying bartender. Because he is annoying.  Constantly checking on Taehyung. Giving him free drinks especially when he knows he’s not supposed to be drinking alcohol.  Checking him out! That was the one that really made Jungkook’s blood boil, immediately making Jungkook’s eyes turn a deathly red. 

“That fucking asshole just checked you out!” Jungkook had very angrily pointed out to Taehyung one night weeks ago.

“So? Jungkookie,” Taehyung leaned in and poked Jungkook’s nose, “he’s harmless. Besides who wouldn’t check me out?! My ass looks phenomenal in these jeans tonight,” he said winking at Jungkook. Jungkook couldn’t deny that was true, but no one but him should be noticing or looking.  Taehyung is his soulmate and his omega.  He’s going to end up killing that stupid bartender.

“Jungkook!” Jungkook blinks and looks at Namjoon. “You’re losing focus.  What’s wrong?”

Jungkook glances a look at Taehyung who is on his phone to the side of the gym.  “Can I take a quick water break? Real quick, I promise.”

Namjoon nods and sternly replies back, “You have 5 minutes and then I want you back in this ring. Go.”

Jungkook nods and exits the ring walking to his water bottle to the side.  He watches Taehyung on the phone and how he’s laughing.  Jungkook furrows his brows.  Jimin comes up next to him looking at Taehyung then at Jungkook.

“Who is Taehyung talking to?” Jungkook asks.

Jimin shrugs, handing Jungkook a towel.  He takes it and wipes the sweat off his neck and chest.  “Why? You jealous?”

“And what if I fucking said yes? Huh Jimin? What If my answer to you and your stupid fucking question is yes.  I’m fucking jealous.”

Jimin leans back, hands up, “Relax.  Damn.  I was just kidding.  Why are you even jealous anyway? Who the hell do you have to be jealous of? He’s always with you.  And when he’s not you’re literally all he talks about.  When we went out to lunch the other day, you’re all he talked about.  Do you know how annoying that is? Mostly because you’re an asshole and I like to get my Jungkook at very low doses during the day.”

“Fuck you Jimin,” Jungkook sneers.

“See,” Jimin chuckles.

Jungkook doesn’t take his eyes off of Taehyung, “He really talks about me a lot?”

“All the fucking time.  You have nothing to worry about,” Jimin says patting Jungkook on the back.

“He has nothing to worry about what?” Taehyung asks walking over.

“Nothing. What’s up? Everything ok?” asks Jungkook as casually as he can making Jimin roll his eyes.

“Yeah fine.  It was…” Taehyung hesitates, biting his lip, “um, Tom called me.”

Jungkook tenses and Jimin glances at him quickly.  “Really? What did he want?”

Taehyung picks up his book and sits back down on his stool. “He wanted to see if I was free tonight.”

Jungkook turns and sends a murderous look Jimin’s way. Didn’t have anything to worry about huh? Jimin smiles awkwardly and gulps.

“He asked you out?” Jungkook asks through gritted teeth.

Taehyung nods.

“And? What did you tell him?”

Taehyung looks up at Jungkook and gives him a warm smile.  Jungkook can smell the overwhelming scent of pie. “I said no.  We’re at the chapter where Regan and Father Karras first meet.  We can’t miss that Jungkookie. Besides, I told you, I don’t like him like that.  He can be a little annoying at times.”

Jungkook relaxes and inhales the scent around him.

“But what if he’s your soulmate?”

“What?!” both Jungkook and Taehyung exclaim.

Jimin nods.  “Think about it Taehyung, you don’t have a sense of smell…” Jungkook freezes.  He shoots a look at Jimin who clearly is so ridiculously clueless he doesn’t understand social cues for shut the fuck up!

“So?” Taehyung asks, brows furrowed.

“Well, if you can’t smell you can’t realize that you’ve met your soulmate.  You won’t be able to smell them.”

Never mind that bartender, Jungkook is going to murder Jimin and his big fucking omega mouth.

Taehyung’s mouth drops. “I—I never actually thought of that.” He frowns and Jungkook can see the gears working overtime in his head.  “Nah, that’s crazy.  Because even if I couldn’t smell them, the other person would definitely say something. Tell me.”

“Would they? I’m not so sure,” Jimin responds, side-eyeing Jungkook. 

“Jimin…shut the fuck up! Leave Taehyung alone with all that shit!” Jungkook can’t hold back anymore.  Where the fuck is Hobi and can he come and get his mate under control?

“Jimin, I’m positive someone would say something.  Why would they not?  They would bring it up right away especially if I don’t react.  That would be weird.  They would ask why I didn’t.  Any normal person would.”

Jungkook cringes.  Any normal person would have.  But Jungkook is not normal and instead decided to do the complete opposite of ask and make Taehyung’s life a living hell instead.  He closes his eyes and sighs.

“Jungkookie? You ok?”

Jungkook opens his eyes and nods.

“And believe me, Tom isn’t my soulmate.  I have like zero chemistry with that kid.  Even less in bed,” Taehyung comments grimacing. 

“Jungkook! Five minutes are up! Back to work!”

Jungkook smirks.  Fuck Tom and his shit in bed skills. 

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Jungkookie, how does the shoulder feel?” Taehyung is finishing up taping Jungkook’s shoulder.  “Jungkookie?” Taehyung sighs. He grabs Jungkook by the waist and squeezes, making Jungkook yelp.

“Taehyung!” Jungkook pushes his hands off. “Your hands are freezing lizard boy! What are you doing?!”

Taehyung laughs at the nickname and makes a mental note to make Jungkook sit down with him and watch V.  “I was getting your attention.  You weren’t listening to me.  You were completely spaced out.  What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  I’m fine.”

“I think I know you well enough now to know when you’re lying.  And you, Sir, are lying.  You’re off today.  And you’re radiating anxious energy Jungkook.  You seem really stressed out.  Maybe…why don’t we go and play hooky for the day!  You know, do that thing you do so well. Tell Namjoon to fuck off, go fuck himself, whatever combination of fuck works for you, and we have you take a breather for the day.”

“With the fight around the corner? You think that Hanrahan kid is taking a breather Tae?  No, he’s training and devising ways to kill me in that ring.  Meanwhile, I’m here getting my shoulder taped up.”

“As a precaution Jungkook.  It’s merely a precaution.  Your shoulder mobility is almost at peak capacity. I’m not concerned about your shoulder.  Your mental health, that’s what I’m worried about.”

Jungkook lets out a loud groan.  “Don’t. Don’t start.  I already see a therapist, Taehyung.  I don’t need another one here at the gym.  I’m fine.”

Taehyung snorts. “Who do you think you’re talking to, hmm? I am the inventor of the “I’m fine, yet I most definitely am not fine” club.  I invented that club.  I can see you are not fine.  You, my dear alpha are a ticking time bomb and the one who will set you off is standing over there glaring at us because we’re still talking.” Taehyung turns to Namjoon and gives him an enthusiastic wave.  Namjoon points at his watch and glares.

“Geez.  He got really intense,” Taehyung comments about Namjoon.

“Of course he is.  It’s my first time back in a ring in a really long time.  He just wants me to be prepared.”

“And he’s driving you crazy, admit it.”

Jungkook looks over at Namjoon who is throwing daggers at him with his gaze.  “I’m going to end up murdering him, aren’t I?”

“No, as long as you take some time for some self-care.  You need it Jungkook, I’m telling you.  I’m worried about you.  You seem super stressed.”

“You don’t have to worry about me Princess.  I’ll be fine—”

“Jungkook! Think when you’re done making googly eyes at your omega over there,” Taehyung’s eyes widen in shock as Jungkook glares at Namjoon, “you could maybe get over here and start actually working,” Namjoon scowls out.

“This fucking—”

“Jungkook, take a deep breath.  Don’t let the stick that Namjoon clearly has up his ass affect you.  I’ll be over in my little corner as always.” Jungkook nods as Taehyung retreats to his stool.

‘Your omega,’ Taehyung wishes that were true.  He glances up at Jungkook who is making his way towards the large mirror covering the wall. He doesn’t want to belong to anyone.  The fear of what a soulmate bond could do to someone because of him is something that keeps him up at night.  But if Taehyung had a choice, he would very much like to belong to Jungkook.

“You should tell him.”

Taehyung turns to see Hobi standing next to him.

“I’m sorry?”

“Jungkook,” Hobi motions towards the alpha who is having Namjoon place large rubber bands on his feet holding his ankles together.

“What do you mean?”

“You should tell him how you feel about him.”

Taehyung groans, “Fuck, am I that obvious?”

“Painfully obvious,” Hobi says chuckling. “You should tell him.”

Taehyung watches Jungkook as he resumes his training again.  Jungkook is wearing hand wraps and shadow boxing. He’s working on his footwork. Pivoting and moving, switching angles.  Feet moving in and out, side to side, back and forth.

What would it mean to tell Jungkook that he’s all Taehyung thinks about? That he’s the first face he envisions in the morning and the last he sees before he shuts his eyes at night.  That he invades even in his dreams.

But Taehyung knows how this plays out. Jungkook has a soulmate out there.  And no matter how Taehyung feels about him he isn’t it.  And they’ll come a time when Jungkook will meet that person and fall in love.  And Taehyung will become nothing but a distant memory to Jungkook. 

“Has he met his soulmate yet Hobi?”

“No…” Hobi tenses.  He and Jimin know. Namjoon had sat them both down one night and explained everything to them. Most importantly, how their bond is somewhat dangerous for them if they are apart.  Namjoon didn’t want to invade Jungkook’s privacy, but he figured if Hobi and Jimin knew, perhaps they could help keep Taehyung and Jungkook together.  Civil.  Maybe even something more.

“Are you sure?”

“Not that I know of Tae.  He’s never mentioned a soulmate.”

“Then that answers your question Hobi. It would be different if he had met that person and rejected them.  Or they tried and it didn’t work out. Rare, but it happens.  And then I could feel like I might have a chance.  But…he’ll meet that person and…I’ll just be the physical therapist again,” shrugs Taehyung sadly. 

“But Tae, that could be said for you as well.  You haven’t met your soulmate either.  Yet you’re here pining over Jungkook.”

“I don’t care who my soulmate is,” Taehyung says scrunching his nose, “I’m not interested in a soulmate.  I won’t be responsible for someone’s possible de—“

Taehyung looks back at Hobi who is frowning at Taehyung. “Forget it.  Look, could you not say anything to him about my feelings for him? It’ll just make things weird.”

Hobi looks at Jungkook then back Taehyung and sighs. “Sure Tae.  Your secret is safe with me.”

“Thanks,” Taehyung looks back at the mirror and notices Jungkook is gone.  He scans the gym quickly and finds him with Namjoon hitting the heavy bag.

“Good! Straighter! Work the jab Jungkook! You need a better jab! Stitch and hook, catch a punch and let a punch go,” Namjoon yells standing right next to Jungkook.

“Hobi, we need to keep an eye on Jungkook.  He’s pretty irritable today.”

Hobi rolls his eyes, “So what else is new—“

“No, he’s been at this nonstop since the fight was booked.  He’s overworking himself.  Joon is being too…I don’t know harsh.”

“Harsh? Tae it's called training—“

“No, I know, but Jungkook is reacting differently to it lately.  His body tenses when Joon starts yelling at him.  You can see him take a step back almost cowering.”

Like a trauma response. Taehyung looks up at Jungkook and notices his posture.  Frightened cat. He’s afraid.  Jungkook is afraid. 

“And when Jungkook is afraid he gets angry and mean…”

“What?” Hobi asks.

“Can’t we give him a break? Like a mental health day?”

“Tae, those don’t exist in boxing kid. Don’t worry Jungkook will be fine.  Namjoon is pushing because it’s the first fight back.  It’ll be fine.”

Taehyung turns back, worriedly looking at Jungkook. 

“Mark!”

Taehyung follows Namjoon’s gaze to the gym doors and sees a young man, no older than himself standing waving. 

He turns back to Jungkook who visibly tenses again.  Now who the hell is this?

Jungkook follows Namjoon, head and shoulders slumped.  Namjoon never told him Mark would be coming by today.  He inhales in and relaxes, suddenly turning to see Taehyung standing next to him, smiling. 

‘As long as Taehyung is here, I could care less about anything else,’ thinks Jungkook as he stares at their new visitor.

Namjoon gives Mark a big hug. Mark turns to Jungkook and smiles.  “It’s been a while Jk. How are you?”

“Jungkook.  Not Jk.”

Taehyung turns to look at Jungkook who looks anxious.  “Hi, I’m Taehyung, resident physical therapist and head cheerleader for Team Jungkook.” Taehyung makes sure to emphasize “Jungkook” and not Jk.

“Nice to meet you, Taehyung.  Geez Jk, how do you even stay focused with a cheerleader who looks like this around,” jokes Mark.

Jungkook clenches his jaw. He feels a soft hand on his shoulder. “Actually, it’s me who wonders how I manage.  Look at Jungkook.  A fucking Adonis and I’m lucky enough to see him in all his sweaty glory all day.”

Jungkook laughs and turns to Taehyung with eyes widened, “What the fuck Princess?!”

Taehyung winks.

“I asked Mark to come by and spar with you,” Namjoon explains.

“What?” Jungkook turns to look at Namjoon.  “He’s not even a boxer anymore! I’ve been doing just fine with the other guys you’ve brought in for me to spar with.”

“Mark was always such a technical boxer.  Really skilled with his hands and feet.  I think it would be good for you to spar against someone with a similar fighting style to Hanrahan.”

“Yeah Jk, Joon thought it would be helpful.”

“Jungkook go put your headgear on.  Get ready.  Mark, Hobi will get you set up.”

Taehyung sees a flash of red through Jungkook’s eyes.  This is not good.

“Namjoon! Who is that?”

“Mark was in the group home with Jungkook.  He and I became friends. I thought—“

“No, you really fucking didn’t,” Taehyung angrily replies. “He makes Jungkook uncomfortable.  Didn’t you notice?! And what’s with all the “Jk” stuff.  Jungkook clearly didn’t like it, but that asshole kept calling him that.”

“Hey, Tae. Bring it down a notch.  Stop being so fucking dramatic will you. Jungkook and Mark didn’t exactly get along, but Jungkook didn’t get along with anyone—“

“Because he was abused.  Trauma is a fucking thing, Namjoon.”

Namjoon holds his hands up, “Tae, I know.  I’m not blaming him.  I’m just saying. Mark and I became close.  Friends. He trained with Jungkook in Somerville too.  But he got his shit together and now he’s working in something completely different.”

“He got his shit together? Did he? Well good for him.  Is that a jab at Jungkook?”

“What? No—“

“Because I’ll bet that Mark didn’t have that asshole Jack breathing down his neck at all times,” Taehyung angrily says, eyes turning an icy blue.

“He told you about Jack? Jungkook actually told you about him?”

“He’s about to snap Namjoon.  And it’s going to be your fault.  Good luck when he does.  Hope Jungkook beats the shit out of that stupid beta.”

Namjoon runs a frustrated hand across his face. “Yeah, they’re definitely made for each other.”

Taehyung stands by the side of the ring and sees Jimin helping Jungkook with his gloves.  His gaze turns to Mark who enters the ring and starts to jump around, warming up.  Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Kick his ass, Jungkookie,” he mumbles under his breath. 

Jungkook adjusts his gear and puts in his mouth guard.  He enters the ring and scowls as his eyes fall on Mark. 

“Don’t worry Jk, I’ll go easy on you,” Mark teases.

Jungkook let’s out a small growl and charges forward. They both start to move, dance around each other.  Feeling each other out.  Mark swings at Jungkook but he’s able to dodge out of the way, leaving Mark just missing him.

“Jungkookie! Hands up! You’re not a cat so stop standing like one!” Taehyung screams from the side. Namjoon turns and gives him a look.  Taehyung purses his lips and shrugs. 

Mark swings on Jungkook again as fast as he can, but still misses. Jungkook let’s out a small smile. Mark sees it and it only fuels him on.  He swings at Jungkook again and WHAM! Left hook catches Jungkook in the side of the face. Taehyung grimaces and looks away.

Jungkook snarls back at Mark.

“Jungkook! Focus! No one said to stop! Keep going!” Namjoon yells.

They start again and almost immediately…WHAM! Jungkook is hit again, even harder this time. 

“Fucking watch it! It’s supposed to be sparring! You trying to hurt me?!” Jungkook yells.

“Jungkook! Pull those emotions back.  Keep moving!”

Taehyung angrily looks at Namjoon. ‘This fucking alpha…’

The sparring match starts again and after a few more exchanges, Mark swings and Jungkook ducks it, but when he comes up, he is quickly caught by another swing, WHAM! Right into his left eye.

“What the fuck! You trying to blind me now too?!” Jungkook’s eyes turn a fiery red, anger exploding over.  He lets out a snarl and shoves Mark practically flying all the way across the ring. Jungkook rips his gloves off and stands inches from Mark’s face.

“I told you to fucking watch yourself! But we can definitely fix whatever your problem is! Take the fucking gloves off and we can step the fuck outside,” Jungkook sneers, eyes glowing a deep red. 

Mark steps back, not knowing what is going on. “You’re fucking crazy,” he says to Jungkook.  The comment only fueling Jungkook’s anger even more.

Taehyung runs towards the ring and quickly gets in. Not thinking twice, he stands in the middle of the two boxers. 

“Fucking move Taehyung!” Jungkook growls.  He’s not even looking at Taehyung.  He’s looking through him, chest heaving angrily.  Taehyung doesn’t move to the side, instead he moves closer to Jungkook. 

“Hey, look at me.” Taehyung slowly reaches for Jungkook’s headgear and carefully takes it off the enraged alpha.  He cups Jungkook’s face and caresses his cheek with his thumb. “Jungkookie,” Jungkook’s eyes turn and lock onto Taehyung’s, “doe eyes.  Has anyone told you that you have the prettiest, biggest doe eyes ever?  But not when they’re like this.  Red and menacing.  Jungkook…take a deep breath.  I know you’re angry, but I need you to focus on my voice and breath.”

Namjoon looks at Hobi, “Get Mark out of here. Now.” Hobi quickly taps Mark’s leg through the ropes.  Mark makes a quick exit.  “Let me know when that kid has his head on straight and can actually use a good sparring partner,” he says to Hobi before leaving the gym.

Jungkook takes deep breaths in and out while Taehyung helps him steady his emotions.  “He’s been stressed out. I told you. It boiled over.  There’s only so much someone can hold in,” Taehyung says to Namjoon only he doesn’t take his gaze away from Jungkook as he says it.  Instead, he keeps his eyes locked onto Jungkook.  Taking deep breaths along with the alpha. 

Jungkook can smell warm apple pie. He closes his eyes and lets himself relax.  He feels his breathing steady again. He opens his eyes and finds himself staring back at the most beautiful almond chocolate eyes he’s ever seen.

“Hi Jungkookie. Feeling better?” Jungkook nods and Taehyung let’s go of Jungkook’s face.  “You scared me.  I thought you were going to murder that poor beta and I was going to have to help you hide the body.  Imagine?”

“Who better than you though? The amount of horror shit you read,” Jungkook jokes.  Taehyung giggles.

“I’m sorry Joon.  I don’t know man.  I sort of saw red and lost it.”

“And what happens when you see red in the ring and can’t control it during a fight Jungkook? What then?”

“That won’t happen,” Taehyung responds.  Jungkook looks at him and stares.  “He’s been stressed out, I told you.  And I know boxers are supposed to train hard, but Joon, you’re overworking him.”

Namjoon purses his lips and gives Taehyung an offended look.

“Wait!” Taehyung holds a hand up at Namjoon. “Before you say anything, I’m not trying to offend you or say that you’re doing all this to hurt Jungkook.  I know you’re pushing him so he can win. But he needs a break Joon.  A small break.  Let his mind rest for just a day and then he can come back refreshed and ready to go again.”

Jungkook looks at Taehyung and wants nothing more than to take him and kiss him senselessly.  He’s never had anyone defend him like this.  Step in for him like this. 

Namjoon sighs. “Fine.  You’re right.  I won’t deny that you’re right.  You’ve been working day and night, nonstop.  You deserve a break too.  Go.  Go out with Taehyung and have a day to decompress.”

Jungkook smiles and as if on autopilot he reaches out for Taehyung’s hand pulling him to stand closer.  Taehyung obliges and leans slightly on the alpha as he listens to Namjoon. 

“But tomorrow I want you here bright and early again.  Ready to work.  You need to get that shit under control Jungkook.  You know it won’t fly during a fight.”

“I will.  I will Joon.”

Taehyung turns to Jungkook and shoves him playfully in the shoulder.  “You know if you wanted a day out with me, you could’ve just asked.  No need to nearly kill someone.”

“You wish Princess,” Jungkook replies.

“Ready to go out and “decompress” as Joon said,” Taehyung asks, taking Jungkook’s hand in his.  He’s wearing Jungkook’s Thrasher hoodie. Jungkook can’t begin to explain what seeing Taehyung in his clothes like this does to him. “Stop staring at MY hoodie like that.  I told you; you’re never getting it back.”

“We’ll see,” Jungkook teases.  “So, where to Princess?”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“This.  This is what we’re doing? Taehyung…seriously?”

“What?” pouts Taehyung.  “I haven’t been on one in forever and I’m going to venture and say you’ve never been on one at all.”

Jungkook frowns as he stares at the carousel in the middle of the Rose Kennedy Greenway in Boston. Taehyung really does keep him on his toes because there is no way he would’ve guessed this is where Taehyung would’ve brought him. 

“It’s so pretty! See how it isn’t regular horses like other boring carousels.  They have all kinds of different animals. It’s unique and I love—take that look off your face right now Jungkook! It’s a calming, relaxing, wholesome activity.  You will participate in it and enjoy it!”

Jungkook looks back at the carousel with a raised, skeptical eyebrow. 

“But I mean, we could just go back to your place and have sex all day and destress you that way alpha.”

Jungkook chokes on air, coughing as he turns to look at Taehyung who is laughing hysterically.  “You should’ve seen your face Jungkook!”

“I hate you,” Jungkook replies, narrowing his eyes at Taehyung. 

“No you don’t. Now come on! We need to get in line so we can get the better animals.  Kids are vultures.  They’ll trample you and leave you for dead on the floor all so they can pick the best-looking animal on this thing.  And I don’t want to end up on some bug.”

Taehyung takes Jungkook by the hand and drags him to the line. Jungkook smiles widely and follows behind letting Taehyung drag him.  He’d frankly let Taehyung do anything he wants if it means he can see him this happy all the time.

“What animal do you want Jungkookie?” Taehyung asks, standing on tip toes to see better.

“I don’t care,” Jungkook shrugs. 

Taehyung turns and gives him a disappointed look. “Great.  I’m with the person who doesn’t care if we end up on a cricket.”

Jungkook chuckles. “Fine. What animal do YOU want?”

“I’m not sure…the owl is really pretty.  Or the butterfly.”

“Wait they have a wolf.  I want that one,” Jungkook says confidently. 

Taehyung looks over and spots the wolf on the corner. “The wolf? Why?”

“For real? Taehyung—“

“That’s so cliché.  The big bad alpha wants the wolf.  I think that rabbit in the front suits you more to be honest,” Taehyung says pointing to a rabbit with carrots in its mouth.

“The rabbit? Why the fuck would I want the rabbit?”

“You sort of look like one.  You have bunny teeth…hey!” Taehyung bursts out in laughter as Jungkook pokes a finger in his side.

“What the fuck do you mean I have bunny teeth? Awfully bold to say to an alpha.  An alpha boxer no less.”

Taehyung waves him off. “I’m not afraid of you.  You have a soft spot for me,” Taehyung says smiling. 

Jungkook looks at Taehyung and smiles with amusement.  “A soft spot?”

“Yup! No one else would be able to get you on a carousel.  It’s the reason you gave me this hoodie years ago. And I’m literally the only person you don’t snap at anymore.  You have a soft spot for me.”

Jungkook can’t hold back his smile. “You think so huh?”

“Yes.  And I have a soft spot for you too. It’s the reason I’m here bringing you on a carousel and not yelling at you like everyone else in the gym wanted to do.”

Jungkook stares at Taehyung and reaches up to touch his hair.  “I miss your blue hair.”

“You said you liked the blond.”

“I like you in anything. Must be that soft spot.”

Taehyung bits his lip and giggles. “Idiot. You’re getting on that bunny.”

Jungkook groans and looks at the carousel.  The attendant removes the barrier letting the next group of people on.  Jungkook turns back and puts Taehyung’s hand in his.  “Come on Princess.”  Without saying a word, he walks up to the rabbit, the one with the carrots in his mouth and gets on.

Taehyung smirks and gets on the second rabbit next to Jungkook’s. “See, soft spot,” he says to Jungkook.

The music starts to play as the carousel begins to spin.  Taehyung let’s out a loud laugh and Jungkook in that moment thinks deathly soulmate bond or not, he’s never letting Taehyung go.  Taehyung looks at Jungkook laughing.  He holds out his hand waiting for Jungkook to take it.  He doesn’t hesitate to interlock their fingers together. 

“My mom loved a really good carousel. Aside from books, it was her favorite thing,” Taehyung says smiling as the music plays in the background. “Her favorite was the one in the Common though.  She liked how it was classic.  Classic horses.” Taehyung looks down at the rabbit Jungkook is on.  “I happen to think this one is much better.”

Jungkook smiles back at Taehyung and closes his eyes.  Taehyung is right.  This is fun.  And relaxing.  And he needed this. Taehyung has a way of doing this.  Of knowing what Jungkook needs.  And Jungkook is sure it has nothing to do with the bond.  He’s just this attentive.  This caring. 

“When my mom was moved from the hospital to home, my dad went out of his way to make sure my mom was happy even in the smallest moments of the day. There were good days.  There were bad days. But then there were the dark days.  The ones where my usually super optimistic mom wouldn’t let anyone in her room.  She wouldn’t even let me come in to read to her.”

Taehyung looks off into the distance.  Jungkook squeezes his hand.  “Those were the toughest moments for my dad because when your one goal in life is to keep your mate eternally happy, and then not be able to do that…it broke his heart…But do you know what he started to do Jungkookie?”

Jungkook shakes his head.  Intrigued.  Ever since they had that conversation that night in Jungkook’s apartment where Taehyung opened up to him about his mother’s cancer and his parents’ bond, Taehyung has slowly continued to let his walls down.  Jungkook finds that he is able to talk about his parents more comfortably with Jungkook.  He still avoids talking about his own illness and refuses to discuss the soulmate bond again, but Jungkook is fine with that.

Small steps.  Jungkook is focused on making sure he continues to improve and learn how to be better for Taehyung. He’s hoping with time, Taehyung’s view on soulmates will change.  In the meantime, he’s happy.  He’s happy being around Taehyung and having him in his life. 

“He found this place that had a year-round carousel.  In Hull.”

“You’re fucking kidding me?! All the way there?”

Taehyung nods.  “Told you.  He was annoyingly whipped for her.  Kind of like you, with your soft spot for me,” teases Taehyung, laughing. 

‘If he only knew how true that is,’ Jungkook thinks.    

“The Paragon Carousel.  It’s beautiful and my dad made it a point to drive us there every weekend so that she could ride that carousel.  Without fail we were there every weekend.”

Taehyung’s smile fades.  “Until she started to get worse, and she couldn’t walk anymore.  By that time, we had become close to the owners. They called my dad to find out what happened.  Why we had stopped coming. He explained to them that she was sicker, and it wasn’t feasible for her to make it there anymore.”

The music starts to get slower, and the carousel starts to slow down.  Taehyung pouts as he looks at the attendant who is getting ready to stop the ride.  “That pout.  No need for it,” Jungkook reaches into his pocket and shows Taehyung another ride ticket.  “We’re going again.”

Taehyung happily claps his hands.  When the attendant comes around to have Taehyung and Jungkook exit, Jungkook hands him the ticket.  “All set Princess.  Go ahead, tell me the rest.  I want to know how your dad has made it impossible for the rest of us alphas to ever rise to his standard.”

Taehyung chuckles and nods.  “You got me a second ride.  I’d say you’re doing just fine.  My mom was super lucky though.  My dad always went above and beyond for her.  He went to Hull and with the help of the owners of the carousel he found a way for my mom to still be a part of a carousel ride.”

Jungkook sits on bated breath. “Come on! Tell me! How?!”

“They gave him one of the original horses.  Like with the pole and everything.  He hired someone to bolt that horse to a rocking chair bottom. 

Then came the icing on the cake.  He picked her up out of bed and carried her to the horse, carefully placing her on it.  He would climb on behind her, holding her steady. He had setup this old camcorder to the tv in their bedroom. He told me to hit play.  I did as I was told and guess what it was Jungkookie.”

“What?”

“A video that my dad took on the carousel back in Hull.  Sort of like a first-person ride of that carousel.  And sure, the horse didn’t move up and down anymore, only rocked now, but Jungkook, you should’ve seen the look on my mom’s face.  She was so happy.”

Jungkook shakes his head in disbelief. “He really set the standard. Holy shit.”

“He did that even after she lost all sense of what a carousel even was.  When she didn’t even know who he was,” Taehyung says sadly.  “He would lift her up, put her on that horse and play the video.  I don’t know, maybe he thought it would bring her back to him somehow.”  Taehyung takes a deep breath and drops his hand from Jungkook’s.

“Sorry.  Today was about having you de-stress and get in a better head space and here I am talking about the saddest shit ever. It’s just that I hadn’t allowed myself to think about those moments for a really long time.  Being here today reminded me of her.  I’m sorry.”

Jungkook reaches over and retakes Taehyung’s hand.  “Don’t apologize for that.  I like hearing you talk about them.  Your face lights up when you do.”

The ride starts to slow down until it comes to a full stop. Jungkook jumps down first from the rabbit and before Taehyung can do the same, Jungkook places his hands on Taehyung’s waist steadying him, and helps him down.  Taehyung turns bright red feeling his heart flutter.  Jungkook stares into his eyes.  Taehyung feels his heart rate pick up; his palms are sweaty.  He unconsciously parts his lip slightly making Jungkook look down and focus in on them.

Taehyung wonders what it would feel like to be kissed by Jungkook.  He sees Jungkook’s gaze continue to lock onto his lips. Could Jungkook be thinking the same thing? 

“HEY! Do you have another ticket or…?

Jungkook blinks and clears his throat.  Taehyung releases the breath he hadn’t even realized he had been holding.  He swallows, throat having gone dry.

“You ready to go Tae?”

Taehyung nods, face flushed.

They exit the carousel and stand awkwardly in front of each other avoiding eye contact.  Jungkook clears his throat again, “Where to now?”

Taehyung looks around. “We could go and get something to eat.  You pick.  Because it really doesn’t matter much to me.  It literally all tastes the same.”

“Actually, I’ve been craving Gimbap and tteokbokki, and since Namjoon isn’t here today breathing down my neck about my diet for training, I think I want to eat that.  Up for a trip to Allston?”

“Let’s do it!”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung sits and watches Jungkook eat with giddy satisfaction.  He loves seeing the alpha calm and happy like this. He deserves to always feel this good.

“Sorry Tae.  This is unfair to you.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you can’t even taste any of this.  And I’m here stuffing my face, constantly commenting on how good it is.”

Taehyung smiles, “It’s fine.  I’m living vicariously through you.  Eat away.  I had enough to get my required nutrients.  Have at it Jungkookie.”

“You must miss being able to eat normally.”

“I do, but it’s either that or change my meds and risk other side effects.  It’ll always be something.” Taehyung props his elbows on the table and places his chin on the palms of his hands. 

“Have you been on these particular meds long?” Jungkook prompts.

Taehyung shrugs and stays quiet.  He looks up at Jungkook. “I know what you’re doing.  Instead of trying to get me to talk about something you know I don’t want to talk about…why don’t you tell me what happened this morning.  What all of that was.  Where it came from.”

“Do you know how I know about this place?”

Taehyung shakes his head.

“The group home I used to live in, it’s close by in Brighton.  I used to come here and stare through the window at everyone eating.  I was so hungry sometimes Tae.  Jack wouldn’t let me eat or he would do something disgusting to my food and I would refuse to eat it.  When I started to live with Joon and his family, they would give me an allowance.  The first thing I did with that money was come here and eat.  I needed to see if the food tasted as good as it looked all those years.”

Taehyung takes his plate and the untouched food and puts it on Jungkook’s plate.  “Eat.  Eat more,” he says, then gives Jungkook’s arm a reassuring squeeze.

“What about you—“

“I told you I had enough.”

“How about I buy you some vanilla ice cream after this?” Jungkook watches the massive smile emerge on Taehyung’s face. “Thought so.”

“Jungkook….what was the deal with Mark?”

Jungkook sighs and puts down his chopsticks. “Mark was a kid in my group home.  I think he and Joon really connected. Become friends.  I—I think Namjoon had hoped that they would be adopting Mark and not me.”

Taehyung frowns, “He said that?”

“No, I just sort of felt it.  He always just liked him better.”

“Impossible.”

“Taehyung, I’m an asshole.”

“But a charming and super endearing asshole,” Taehyung responds, crossing his arms, defensively.

“Baby tiger,” Jungkook chuckles. “According to you I’m only like that with you…now.  You remember how I was with you too.  Endearing was not a word anyone used to describe me Tae and you know it. And I didn’t necessarily like or dislike Mark.  He was just there.  Like every other kid was.  My only focus was to survive another day there. He just—“

“What?” Taehyung asks leaning forward.

“He had a way of trying to kiss ass.  He would throw kids under the bus sometimes if it meant something for him.  I think we all develop different ways to survive in places like that and I just don’t particularly like the ones he chose to use.  They sometimes led to other kids’ misfortunes.”

“And the “Jk” thing?”

Jungkook sighs.  “The adults in the group home called me Jk.  It felt dehumanizing in a way.  I know it’s just a nickname, but it was like they couldn’t bother calling me my actual name.  Even when I asked.  They didn’t see me as worth it to call me by my name and not some two-letter acronym that didn’t mean shit to me.”

Taehyung reaches over and puts his hand on Jungkook’s.  Jungkook goes one step further and holds Taehyung’s hand making him smile. 

“Thank you for today, Tae.  You have no idea how much I needed this.”

“Oh, I do.  I knew.  That’s why we’re here.  I could see it.  I could feel it.  We’ve known each other for a while now, Jungkook.  It’s strange because considering how we were for a while I shouldn’t be helping you to be honest.  But…you’ve become someone really important to me.  And I don’t know, maybe it was how we met as kids, but I feel this connection with you I haven’t felt with anyone else.  Not even Yoongi.  It feels like—forget it.  You’ll tease me—“

“Tell me,” Jungkook grips on Taehyung’s hand.

“I always felt kind of incomplete.  Maybe it was because I didn’t have my parents.  And I had Jin and Yoongi and other friends, even relationships, but…I also felt like there was always something missing.  That feeling…it stopped.”

Jungkook gives him a small smile.

“Since I’ve met you.  I’ve felt complete again.  Like that part of me that was missing, it’s finally here again. Stop smiling at me like that! I knew you were just going to make fun of me! I’m trying to tell you how much you mean to me and you’re laughing at me,” pouts Taehyung.

“Tae, listen, I’m not laughing at you.  And…I feel the same.  About you.  I think you know what my life has been like.  I never had anything worth calling mine.” Jungkook locks his fingers with Taehyung’s.  “You make me feel like I finally found what I was missing too.”

Taehyung blushes and smiles.

“Now how about we go and get you that ice cream.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung doesn’t look at Jungkook, instead he purposely looks away so that Jungkook can’t see the massive smile he has on his face.  After they left the restaurant, they started walking and before Taehyung knew it Jungkook had taken his hand and started walking with him side by side, hand in hand.  Taehyung isn’t exactly sure what this means, if anything, but he’s not going to question it.  He’ll just enjoy the moment.  He’s so happy…until he rounds the corner and stares. 

“You promised me ice cream.”

“And I am getting you ice cream,” Jungkook replies pulling Taehyung forward.

“From a convenience store,” pouts Taehyung. “I thought you meant from like a real ice cream place.”

“You are such a brat.  Does Yoongi have a soft spot for you too? Is that how he’s put up with your brattiness for so long?”

“He’s my best friend so yes, he would’ve got me real ice cream,” Taehyung says disappointedly looking at the 7-Eleven in front of him.

“How about this Princess, I’ll get you a huge tub of ice cream here and then I’ll owe you a “real” ice cream this weekend.”

“This weekend? Hmm very forward of you to think we will be repeating this outing again.”

“We spend more time with each other than anyone else lately Tae.  Who are you kidding? Now, we’ll probably be at the gym, but I’ll make sure to take a break and we can go to the place around the corner.”

“You promise?”

Jungkook squeezes his hand and pulls him closer.  “I promise,” he holds out his pinky and Taehyung locks his pinky with Jungkook’s, giggling. 

They go to enter when Jungkook glances to the side.  He blinks.  His breathing starts to pick up. He lets go of Taehyung’s hand and squints his eyes. 

“Jungkook? What’s wrong?”

“It can’t be…” Jungkook says.

Taehyung sees Jungkook ball his hands into fists. He sees his whole-body tense.  “Jungkook?”

“Jack…”

Taehyung looks over to where Jungkook is looking.  There’s a man sitting against the side of the store.  Open container covered by a brown paper bag. He’s dirty, hair long and unkempt. He turns to look at Jungkook who has an unreadable expression on his face…until suddenly his eyes turn a bright deadly red.  “Jungkook,” Taehyung says grabbing his wrist, but Jungkook shakes it off.

It’s him.  Older.  Dirtier. But there’s no denying it’s him.  Jungkook heard he had been released from prison after not having served a lot of time. Out early for “good behavior.” Good behavior. He should be rotting in jail for the rest of his life for the things he did to them in that group home, but to see him like this.  In front of Jungkook.  Weak. Smaller somehow.  This time around Jungkook is bigger. Stronger.  He’s not that same kid Jack punched and yelled at and made to feel so small and afraid.  And most importantly…Jungkook knows how to properly throw a punch now.

“Jack!”

Taehyung knows where this is going.  He tries again, “Jungkook, don’t.  Come on. Let’s just go—“

“Jack!” Jungkook calls again.  The older alpha looks up, eyes glazed, trying to focus on the figure in front of him.  Jungkook can smell the alcohol from a mile away. 

“You don’t remember me, do you? Don’t recognize me?” Jungkook says scowling, inching his way closer to the older alpha.

The older man looks up squinting. Scrunches his nose, clearly trying to think where he would ever know Jungkook from. 

“Jungkook, leave it alone,” Taehyung tries again, but Jungkook pushes him off and inches closer to Jack again.

“I’ll give you one guess…on my birthday as a gift, you gave me a black eye and this,” Jungkook holds out his arm and rolls up his sleeve. He shoves his arm in Jack’s face to show an old, large cigar burn. “See it. And then you shoved me in that shed for two days.”

Taehyung closes his eyes.  Tears forming, starting to burn.  He places a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder who angrily shakes it off. 

A slow look of recognition dawns on the older alpha’s face. “Jeon.  Look at you.  Grew up into a big bad alpha.  Shocking.  Since you were so weak back then.  But look at you.  Looks like our discipline worked.” 

Taehyung feels his chest go tight.  And as if in slow motion, without saying a word, Jungkook lunges on the alpha.  He pins him to the ground and throws hit after deadly hit. Not pulling his punches.

Jungkook is unrelenting and unforgiving with his blows.  He lets go of all the pain, the anger, the resentment he’s lived with for all his life.  He replays in his mind the moments this alpha physically, emotionally, and verbally abused him for years.  How he tried to break Jungkook’s sanity and almost succeeded.  How Jungkook’s life now has been directly impacted by this person.  How his interpersonal relationships have suffered because of him.  How he’s emotionally stunted because of this man.

Jungkook becomes more ruthless.  The blows turn harder, bloodier.  Taehyung is trying desperately to pull Jungkook off, but he won’t budge.  He’s yelling, screaming at Jungkook to get off, but Jungkook’s mind is gone.  It’s in a dark place that not even Taehyung can reach.  Like the dark places his mother used to enter. 

“Jungkook,” Taehyung cries, “please you’ll kill him!”

Taehyung freezes.  He can hear sirens in the distance.  Someone must’ve called the police, which means an ambulance won’t be far behind.  He turns and looks at Jungkook.  He’ll be arrested.  He’ll throw his whole career, his whole life away for this disgusting alpha. 

“Jungkook,” Taehyung places his hand on Jungkook’s cheek as best he can. “Let go.  It’s enough.  You’re letting him win if you continue this.  He ruined your life as a child.  Please don’t let him do it now too.  The repercussions of this, if you continue. I wasn’t kidding when I said I found my other half when I found you.”

Jungkook stops.  He’s breathing heavily, knuckles bloody, the whole front of his shirt covered in blood.  Taehyung reaches down towards the older alpha and feels for a pulse.  He’s alive. 

“Jungkook, look at me. I won’t be able to survive without you if you continue this.  Do you hear the police sirens?  They’re coming.  I can’t live without you in my life now. Understand.  Jungkookie…come back to me.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath…apple pie. He blinks, eyes back to the large doe eyes Taehyung has come to adore. “Good. Now snap the FUCK out of it Jungkook!  Get up!” Taehyung pulls him up roughly and takes hold of his bloodied hand. The police sirens sound like they are right around the corner. Taehyung turns and looks at Jungkook.

“Jungkook! RUN!”

He pulls harshly dragging Jungkook as he sprints into a run.  Jungkook’s legs momentarily stuck to the floor, but eventually moving.  They both run. Running as fast as they can.  Not stopping, not turning back to look behind them. 

Jungkook will never look back ever again.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung tries to put the key in his front door, hands so shaky he drops them on the floor.  He bends down to pick them and turns to look at Jungkook as he does.  He looks lost.  He’s quiet and hasn’t said a word.

Taehyung hurriedly opens the door and puts his arm around Jungkook’s waist, gently guiding him into his house.

“Tae—holy shit! What the fuck happened to him?!”

“Where’s Jin?” Taehyung asks.

“Out with Namjoon. What happened? Is that his blood?” Yoongi asks, eyes wide.

“I’m not sure Yoongi.  Will you help me with him please?”

Yoongi nods and helps Taehyung bring Jungkook down the hallway into his room.  They head straight for Taehyung’s bathroom and sit Jungkook down on the edge of the tub. Jungkook stares ahead at the wall.  Unmoving.

“Jungkookie?”

“Should I call Joon?”

“No!” Taehyung takes Jungkook’s hands and starts to look at them closely.  The last thing he needs is Namjoon breathing down Jungkook’s neck again. He’s caused more harm than good.  Enough is enough with people pushing Jungkook to the edge today. 

“I’m getting the first aid kit.” Yoongi opens the cabinet under the sink and pulls the first aid kit and hands it to Taehyung.

“Yoongs, get a clean shirt for him will you?”

“Jungkook, can you turn around a bit so that I can clean your hands?” Taehyung enters the tub, clothes still on.  He turns the water on making sure it’s warm.  Yoongi runs in with a clean shirt and places it to the side. “Yoongs hand me that towel.”

Taehyung wets the towel and starts to carefully clean Jungkook’s hands.  He looks up and stares into Jungkook’s eyes.  They look so vacant. He continues to be catatonic.  So far away.  Taehyung cleans Jungkook’s cuts on his knuckles and checks him for any other wounds.  He lifts Jungkook’s arms up and slips the bloodied shirt off his body. “Get rid of this Yoongi,” he throws the shirt on the floor and cleans Jungkook’s face with another clean towel.  He wets his hair and sleeks it back out of the way.  Taehyung cups his face and gives him a gentle kiss on his forehead. 

“Yoongi, the shirt,” Yoongi hands Taehyung the clean shirt and Taehyung carefully puts it on Jungkook. 

“Tae, you take one hand and I’ll take the other.  We need to bandage his hands.  Let’s hope he’ll be ok to train tomorrow.” Taehyung nods as he starts placing antiseptic cream and bandaging Jungkook’s right hand.

“You want to tell me what happened,” Yoongi asks as he cleans and bandages Jungkook’s left hand.

“Rage Yoongi.  I’ve never seen so much rage in my life.  My poor Jungkookie,” Taehyung replies running his hand across Jungkook’s cheek. “A fucking ghost, no, a demon from his past made him go dark Yoongs.  I swear I—I thought I had lost him.” Taehyung finishes on Jungkook’s hand and gives it a small peck.  He cups Jungkook’s face, “I never want to see you like that again, alpha.  Never again.”

“Is he going to be ok? Are you sure we shouldn’t call Namjoon—“

“Fuck Namjoon. He’s going to be fine. Help me get him to my bed.” Yoongi moves quickly, helping Taehyung slowly move Jungkook to his bed, lying him down. “I’m going to get cleaned up. I’m covered in blood and soaking wet now.  Thanks Yoongs.”

“You want me to stay with him? Till you come back?” Yoongi asks, sending a sympathetic glance Jungkook’s way.

“No, it’s ok.  He’ll be fine.  I won’t be long anyway.  I know you have to get to work.”

“Alright.  But Tae call me if anything happens.  If you or him need anything, you call me.  Got it?”

“Got it, thanks Yoongi.  Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Taehyung walks back to Jungkook and bends down.  He caresses Jungkook’s face and sighs.  “I’ll be right back Jungkookie.  I’m going to go change and I’ll be right back.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung shuts the light off to his bathroom and turns on his twinkling lights. 

“Tae?”

Taehyung spins around to see Jungkook staring back at him sitting up in his bed.

“Jungkook! Are you ok?” Taehyung rushes to his side and sits next to him on the bed. 

“What did I do?”

“You saw red again.  I was so scared Jungkook.  I thought you—I—“

“You thought I was going to kill him?”

Taehyung nods.  Jungkook takes his hand and holds onto it tightly.

“I wanted to.  And if it hadn’t been for you…I probably would have.” Taehyung exhales shakily. 

“I don’t want all this anger anymore Taehyung.  I don’t want to be controlled by these dark emotions like this anymore.  This isn’t the way I want to live anymore.  I have so much more to live for now.  So much more to lose if I don’t get a hold of this anger I have. I just—I saw him.  And it brought me back there again.  And seeing him in that state should’ve been enough to make me feel vindicated, but it didn’t.  In that moment I wanted him—“

“Dead.  You wanted him dead.”

Jungkook nods.

“You told me once that I needed to let go of what was plaguing me and to be strong and move on.  I’m telling you the same now Jungkook.  You have so much anger inside. But it’s poison Jungkook.  It’s venomous and you can only have it for so long before it starts to take over.  Like a fucking disease Jungkook.  It spreads and before you know it you’re infested and it leaves you lifeless.  That anger fuels you.  It makes you train harder.  It makes you fight harder. But it also controls you.  And you’re too hard on yourself Jungkook.  You never see the good in you.  And oh my god, Jungkookie there is so much good in you.  It’s time you let go of the storm that’s raging inside.”

“How do I do that Tae? I don’t know how.”

“Yes, you do.  You do with others what you do with me.  You open yourself to love. You let others see the Jungkook I get to see.  You let people love you.  Because you are so fucking lovable. And when you finally let love fill you up and take over the venom, the anger, that’s when you’ll be able to fight forever.”

“I’m convinced meeting you was a miracle. You have no idea how thankful I am for you Taehyung.  And I need you to promise me something.  No matter what happens in the future we will always stay together. No matter what Tae, I need you to promise me we’ll never abandon each other.  That no matter what, good or bad, it will always be me and you from now on.”

Taehyung frowns, “Jungkook—“

“Promise me, please,” Jungkook pleads, holding Taehyung’s hand as tightly as he can.”

“Ok,” Taehyung whispers. “I promise Jungkookie.”

Jungkook closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Good.” He lies down on Taehyung’s bed and pulls him down with him. He spoons Taehyung pulling him close to his chest.  He breathes in Taehyung’s scent and closes his eyes.  Taehyung doing the same.  Wrapping his arms around Jungkook’s that are holding onto him tightly.  It isn’t long before all you can hear are sounds of deep breathing.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook stands in the dressing room, leaning from one side to another trying to to stay loose.  He stretches his neck and breaths out. 

“Jungkookie, shoulder feel ok?” Taehyung asks.  He’s rubbing his hands together anxiously. 

“Feels perfect.  Princess, calm down.  Take a deep breath.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, annoyed. “I can’t.  This is the first boxing match I’ve actually ever been to.  And it’s you! I’m nervous for you. And for that idiot Hanrahan.  What if you kill him?!”

Jungkook chuckles. “It’s going to be fine.”

“Tae, how about we go and sit down.  Yoongi and Jin saved us seats.  Come on.  Leave them to it,” Jimin says pulling Taehyung by the arm. Taehyung turns and looks at Jungkook waiting for reassurance.

“It’s ok, go ahead.  I’ll see you after the fight.” Taehyung nods.

“Good luck Jungkookie.”

“Thanks Princess.”

“You ready for this Jungkook?” asks Namjoon.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Let’s do this.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Shane “The Pride of Southie” Hanrahan stands across from Jungkook, thick and menacing, with a neutral expression. Jungkook glances at his opponent, who stares back emotionless.

The referee meets them in the middle of the ring and explains the rules and regulations of the match. “Alright touch gloves,” he says as the two boxers pound gloves together and retreat back to their respective corners. 

Taehyung stares nervously, rubbing his hands on his thighs.  He watches as a tall, leggy blond wearing next to nothing enters the ring holding a card.  The ring girl.  He sees her wink at Jungkook as she passes by him.  Taehyung blinks, not sure if he actually did see that or his nervousness is making him see things.

Yoongi leans in and whispers, “Calm down, killer.  Pretty sure the only blond Jungkook has eyes for is you,” he teases nudging Taehyung. Taehyung glares at him then raises an eyebrow at the girl as she exits the ring.  A bell rings out signaling the start of the first round.  Jungkook and Hanrahan quickly make their way towards each other.  The battle begins.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook jumps around the ring, avoiding Hanrahan who is struggling to make contact, and growing tired. Hanrahan corners Jungkook up against the ropes, and after missing a few jabs, WHAM he smacks into Jungkook and lands a hard deliberate headbutt above his left eye, opening a deep gash. As Jungkook tries to recover, WHAM WHAM, Hanrahan lands two bone crunching hooks to Jungkook’s stomach.

Jungkook tries to suck in air as he stumbles back to the middle of the ring, wiping blood from the gash as the bell sounds.

Jungkook heads to the corner, where Hobi, his cutman, puts the stool down and starts to tend to his wounds.  Namjoon squirts water into his mouth. “How you feeling Jungkook?”

Jungkook takes heavy deep breaths as he stares down his opponent.  “Fine.  I’m fine Namjoon. He’s getting tired.  I’m going to win this Joon.” Namjoon squirts more water into his mouth and Jungkook swirls it and spits in the bucket, water and blood mixing as one.

“Then go do it! Give ‘em hell!”  

The bell for Round 3 sounds. Jungkook starts towards Hanrahan, with more bounce in his stance. Hanrahan takes a swing at his head, and Jungkook evades. As he comes up, he glances to his left making eye contact with Taehyung. Jungkook let’s out a sly smile. Hanrahan swings again, and again, even harder. Jungkook ducks both and then crushes a right uppercut into Hanrahan’s chin, followed by a flurry of alternating punches that send Hanrahan crashing to the mat, fully unconscious.

The ref rushes in, waving. Jungkook spits his mouthpiece out and heads to the corner.

The referee starts counting…

6-7-8-9-10! He waves his hands. “It’s over!”

Namjoon and Hobi start to yell as Jungkook puts his gloved hands up in the air in triumph.  He did it! He fucking did it.  He’s back.

He turns and looks towards the area where he knows Taehyung was sitting, but he no longer sees him.  He scans the area and suddenly feels arms around his waist, on his back.  He turns to see a smiling Taehyung.  He’s beaming.  “I’m so proud of you Jungkookie!” Jungkook smiles back and without thinking he puts his hands around Taehyung’s waist and lifts him up and spins him.

“We fucking did it Princess! We fucking did it!” Taehyung laughs as he lets Jungkook spin him around.  Both lost to the world around them and the congratulations that are falling on deaf ears.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung is standing with Jin and Yoongi, his annoyance rising as the minutes and seconds tick by. He watches the ring girl and Jungkook talking in the corner, laughing occasionally. Taehyung takes out his phone and looks at the time. 

“I can feel the anger radiating off you.  Why don’t you just go over there and show her who he belongs to,” Yoongi says, pushing Taehyung slightly.

“And who exactly would that be Yoongi? Not me,” he says bitterly. “You think they might be soulmates?”

Jin nearly chokes on his water. “What? Tae, they’re just talking.  Now they’re soulmates?”

“They’ve been talking for a while now.  He ignored me the whole time the second she came back here,” Taehyung says glaring at the ring girl.

“That is not true.  You’re over exaggerating because you’re pissed off he’s not giving you all his attention like he usually does,” Jin says.

“Fuck you Jin!” Taehyung sneers.

“Jin is right. Relax.  Believe me, that girl isn’t his soulmate.”

Taehyung sees the ring girl rummage through her purse taking out a card and a pen.  She leans against the wall and writes down a number.  Taehyung’s heart sinks. “Can we go. Please,” he sadly says to Yoongi and Jin.

“Tae—”

“Please Yoongs.”

“I have to wait for Joonie though—”

“It’s ok Jin.  You stay.  I’ll take Tae home.” Taehyung heads towards the exit as Yoongi follows. “You aren’t even going to say goodbye?”

Taehyung glances over and sees Jungkook taking the card and smiling at the leggy blond. “What for? Let’s just get out of here.”

Yoongi sighs as he follows Taehyung out.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung walks out of his bathroom drying his hair with the towel.  He hangs it on the back of his chair and turns his lights on.  He slips on his Thrasher hoodie then heads to his bookcase.  He pulls The Eyes of the Dragon and settles in his hanging chair.  He stares down at the book cover and sighs. 

He shouldn’t be bothered or angry at seeing Jungkook talking to someone else.  He knows this.  Jungkook doesn’t belong to him.  Jungkook has a soulmate out there that he does belong to, could be that blond from tonight for all he knew.  They seemed pretty happy talking to each other.  He wonders what that would be like to realize that Jungkook is your soulmate.  What would his scent be? Would it be something found in nature or something sweet? He shakes his head in frustration.  It shouldn’t matter to him because he’s not his soulmate.  In the long run it’s better this way.  At least this way Taehyung knows Jungkook will be safe.

He takes a deep breath and is about to start reading when he hears a soft knock at his bedroom door. “Fuck off Yoongi! If you’re coming in here to argue again on who’s scarier the daleks or the weeping angels, I’m going to hurt you!...and no the daleks are not more menacing you weirdo!” He hears another knock on the door and rolls his eyes. “Oh my God Yoongs, just come in already! Since when do you knock anyways!” A third knock is heard, a little louder this time, making Taehyung huff in annoyance. He stomps his way to his bedroom door, flinging it open. “What the fuck Yoon—”

He freezes when he sees a smirking Jungkook in front of him.  He rubs his eyes making sure he’s not seeing things.

“I’m really here,” Jungkook says entering Taehyung’s bedroom, placing a bag he brought by the side of the door on the floor. He picks up The Eyes of the Dragon gently placing it on Taehyung’s nightstand and sits in Taehyung’s hanging chair, smiling, feeling that familiar tingle when he sees Taehyung wearing his hoodie. 

Taehyung looks on, dumbfounded. “What are you doing here? How did you even get into my house?”

“Yoongi let me in.  I’ve been calling you nonstop.  Where’s your phone?”

“Um, on my dresser.  I was in the shower.”

“I can see that.  You might want to put some pants on,” Jungkook says smirking motioning to Taehyung.

“Fuck! Sorry!” Taehyung turns around, pulling the hoodie further down as he pulls out a pair of purple sweatpants quickly pulling them on.

“Why did you leave?”

Taehyung gulps.  He turns around and looks down at his feet. “What?”

“You just left after the fight.  I thought we were going to celebrate.  And I looked for you and you were nowhere to be found.  You should’ve seen both my surprise and confusion when Jin told me you and Yoongi had gone home. Why?”

Taehyung avoids Jungkook’s heavy gaze and moves to sit on his bed. “I was tired.”

“Right. You were tired. So tired you left without saying goodbye to me. Which you never do.” Jungkook gets up and moves slowly towards Taehyung. 

“You were busy…so I didn’t want to interrupt you,” Taehyung replies shrugging, still not making eye contact with Jungkook.

“Busy…according to who? You?” Jungkook asks sitting down on the bed next to Taehyung.

“According to my two eyeballs. I didn’t want to interrupt you and Barbie long legs.”

Jungkook lets out a loud amused laugh. “Barbie long legs? What the fuck?”

Taehyung huffs and turns to glare at Jungkook. “I’m not in the mood to have you laugh at me tonight Jungkook.  Congratulations on your win.  I’ll see you tomorrow,” Taehyung goes to get up, but Jungkook takes hold of his wrist.

“Princess…sit. Now.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and sits back down, still averting Jungkook’s eyes.

“Barbie long legs is actually Stephanie.  Her soulmate and alpha,” Taehyung’s eyes finally snap to look at Jungkook, “owns a printing business.  She suggested it might be cool if we had gear with my name on it for the next fight.  She said she could get her alpha to give us a good discount.”

Taehyung frowns, “What?”

“She gave me his card and wrote his personal cell phone number so that Jimin could call him in the morning and talk business.”

“Oh.”

Taehyung is an absolute idiot. Jungkook smirks and shakes his head.  So cute.  Taehyung is so cute, even when he’s stupidly jealous for no reason.  “The only Barbie long legs I know is you.”

Taehyung flushes instantly red.  He smacks Jungkook and shyly covers his face. “Don’t tease me!”

Jungkook laughs getting up and going over to the door, picking up the bag he brought. “Like I said, I wanted to celebrate with you…only you.  But you left.  So to be honest I’m a little pissed off at you.  This was my first fight back…which I won, to only have you leave jealous and pouting.”

“I was NOT jealous or pouting!” he huffs at Jungkook.

“Yes you were. Jin told me.”

“Traitor,” Taehyung mumbles under his breath.

“I want you to admit you were a little jealous and then I’ll give you your present.  Because that soft spot I have for you won out and even though I was angry you left, I still bought you a treat.”

Taehyung eyes the bag and is pretty sure he knows what’s in it.  His mouth starts to water.  He reaches out and makes grabby hands at the bag, smiling.

“Nope.  Not until you admit it.” Jungkook says sternly.

Taehyung crosses his arms and pouts. “Fine. I was a little jealous.  There. Happy? Now give me my ice cream!”

Jungkook chuckles and walks back, placing the tub of vanilla ice cream and a spoon on Taehyung’s lap which elicits a happy squeal from the omega.

“Thank you Jungkookie,” he says crawling into bed, eating spoonfuls of ice cream. “Aren’t you getting in? You’re staying, aren’t you?” he mumbles, mouth full of ice cream.

Jungkook smiles. “Yeah, I’m staying.  Move over.  And don’t kick me in my sleep.  My whole body is sore from the fight.” Taehyung nods and scootches over to let Jungkook in.

“Jungkookie, will you read to me? While I eat this?”

“Soft spot, remember? How could I possibly say no to you?” Jungkook reaches over and picks up the book he set on the nightstand. He opens it to a random page and starts to read.

 📖"Peter, a little boy who would someday be King, had dozens of toys—no, if I am to tell you the truth, he had thousands of toys. He had hundreds of lead soldiers with which he fought great battles, and dozens of play horses. He had games and balls and marbles. He had stilts that made him five feet high. He had a magical spring-stick on which he could bounce, and all the drawing paper he wanted, in a time when paper was extremely hard to make, and only wealthy people could afford to have it. But of all the toys in the castle, the one he loved the best was his mother's dollhouse."

Chapter Text

6 months later…

Taehyung and Jungkook are sitting in the middle of the boxing ring. Taehyung is waving his hand animatedly.  Jungkook let’s out a loud cackle rolling over in laughter as Taehyung bursts into laughter as well making Hobi, Namjoon, and Jimin look up.

“When are they going to just tell each other?” Jimin asks rolling his eyes, “it’s been months.  When are they finally going to just tell each other they’re in love.”

“Seriously though, they are annoyingly whipped for each other.  It’s time.  It’s also time Jungkook tells him Namjoon.  How long is he going to wait until he tells Taehyung they’re soulmates?”

Namjoon looks up and smiles at the two. “Soon.  He’s waiting for the right moment.  He’ll find it.  Don’t worry.”  Namjoon makes eyes contact with Jungkook and smiles.

Jungkook smiles back and sends a small wave. “Don’t worry big bro, we can start up again, in a sec.  Let Tae finish his story,” Jungkook says turning his attention back to a giggling Taehyung.

‘Big bro,’ Namjoon repeats in his head shaking it in disbelief.  It’s true what people say about all someone needs is that one person to make someone want to change, become a better version of themselves.  Taehyung has been that for Jungkook.  And it hasn’t only been the last 6 months.  It’s been throughout the beginning of their relationship.  Even through the name calling and disastrous encounters, Taehyung was changing Jungkook for the better.  

And the change has been felt by everyone around him.  Namjoon isn’t sure if it’s as simple as Jungkook is just happy.  And Jungkook has never been able to just be happy.  He’s never been able to live in that emotion and feel it as intensely as he’s feeling it now.  He watches how gentle and sweet Taehyung and Jungkook are with each other and sighs. 

“Let’s hope that when they do confess, it works out the way they want,” Namjoon says thinking about their bond.

Jungkook gets up and dusts himself off.  “Alright Princess, come on.  I have to get back to training if I intent on beating Carl “the Beast” Duncan.”

Taehyung snorts. “Where do you guys come up with these nicknames? They’re so stupid,” Taehyung says still sitting down not wanting to get up just yet. He glances over at Namjoon and can see he’s antsy to get Jungkook started again.

It’s been 2 months since Jungkook’s last fight.  He’s had several since returning back onto the scene and Jungkook is currently undefeated rising up the ranks and becoming a force to be reckoned with.  They’re in full training mode for the next one against Carl “The Beast” Duncan.  Probably Jungkook’s toughest opponent. 

“Do you think my nickname is stupid?” Jungkook asks as he looks down hovering over Taehyung.

“Meh, it’s alright. Jungkook “Golden Boy” Jeon…I guess it works,” Taehyung replies giving Jungkook a teasing smile.

“Just alright?” Jungkook says bending down inching towards Taehyung who starts to giggle. He reaches down and starts to unrelentingly tickle Taehyung on floor of the ring, laughter echoing through the gym.  Jungkook loves that sound.  His favorite sound. 

“Stop! Stop! Mercy! Mercy!” Taehyung screams laughing uncontrollably.

Jungkook laughs and leans back. “Ok. Seriously though I do have to get back to it.  I’ll take you to get ice cream at our next break,” Jungkook says as Taehyung tries to compose himself again. Jungkook stands up and holds his hands out for Taehyung to take.  He gently pulls Taehyung up and frowns.

“Tae, what happened there?” Jungkook points to Taehyung’s arm.  Taehyung looks down confused and spots a big bruise on his upper arm. He shrugs.

“I’m not sure. Must’ve banged it and didn’t notice.”

“Well be careful, ok.  That’s pretty big.  Stop being such a klutz,” Jungkook reaches up to touch the bruise, but is waved off by Taehyung.

“I’ll be careful.  Now go! You need to be 100% if you’re going to face your Clubber Lang.”

“Are you going to equate every one of my fights to a Rocky opponent?”

“Am I going to bring it back to the only boxing reference I’ve ever had in my life? Yes, yes, I am.  “The Beast” is your Clubber Lang.  He’s fucking scary.”

“I can take him. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.”

Taehyung nods. “I’m going to go start my new book.  I’ll tell you all about it during our session later.”

Taehyung heads out of the ring and towards his usual stool in the back.  Even though he’s not technically needed anymore since Jungkook’s shoulder injury is healed, the team decided to keep him on to do preventative care and exercises with Jungkook.  He’s not complaining.  He gets to spend all his time with Jungkook. 

And there’s nothing Taehyung loves doing more than being around the alpha.  He watches Jungkook secure his headgear and start working on speed drills with Namjoon.

He startles when the heavy gym doors bang closed. He looks over and waves. His attention immediately goes back to Jungkook who catches his gaze quickly and smiles prompting Namjoon to smack Jungkook on the head telling him to focus.  Taehyung laughs.

“Did you tell him yet or what?”

“No Stephanie, I haven’t.  I wish everyone would stop asking me that when they clearly know the answer.”

Stephanie, former ring girl and now full-time employee for her soulmate and alpha’s printing business has slowly become a friend to them all.  They signed a contract with the company to print team logo shirts for the whole team to wear during Jungkook’s matches.

“It’s because we can all see what you two are so afraid to admit to each other—“

Taehyung let’s out an exasperated groan. “Not you too. I hear it enough from Jin and Yoongi.  It’s complicated ok.  What are you doing here this early anyway? Where’s Michael?”

“He had a huge delivery to take care of.  I’m meeting Jimin to show him these!”

“Wow, Steph! These are amazing!”

“They are, aren’t they,” Stephanie proudly responds. “Think Jungkook will like them?”

Taehyung holds one up to himself and smiles.  “He’s going to love them!” he says making Stephanie beam.

“But Michael will be taking over again soon because…” Stephanie gives Taehyung a shy smile, “I’m pregnant!”

Taehyung’s eyes widen happily as he throws his arms around the omega. “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you!”

Stephanie’s happiness can be seen all over her face. “Thanks Tae.”

Taehyung yawns and sits back down, eyes feeling heavy.

“Hey you ok?”

“Just tired.”

“Maybe you’re pregnant,” Stephanie says smirking.

“You would have to have sex for that to happen and it’s been a hot minute since that’s happened.”

“Wait, didn’t you just have your heat? Fucking hell, you spent that alone?!”

Taehyung ignores her judging gaze.  “Yes, I spent it alone.”

“Why? It’s not like you’re attached…”

Taehyung looks up at Jungkook and shrugs.  “I know.  I just don’t want to have to settle on just anyone.  That’s all.”

“You mean you didn’t want to settle on anyone who isn’t Jungkook,” Stephanie says following Taehyung’s gaze.

Taehyung stays quiet and ignores the comment.  But if he’s being honest then yes.  He doesn’t want to settle on anyone that isn’t Jungkook. But like he told Stephanie, their relationship is complicated.  So many barriers and questions hang in the air. 

“Stephanie!” Jimin peeks his head out of the office and waves motioning for Stephanie to join him in the office. She picks up her bag and turns to Taehyung.

“You really should just tell him.  Whatever is making it complicated won’t matter much when you are both together.  Love trumps anything Tae.”

Taehyung looks back at Jungkook and tiredly yawns. “Easy for her to say. She has a perfect life.  I can’t even stay up past 7pm anymore, never mind figure out my love life” he snorts as he opens his book.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung stands behind Jungkook watching as he stretches his shoulder and does the exercises to keep his mobility and stiffness at bay.  His next fight is approaching soon, and he needs to be at his peak performance. 

Taehyung leans on the stool and ends up relenting and sitting on it fully.  He rubs at his temples.  He has a massive headache that hasn’t let up for the last couple of days.  And he’s exhausted.  If he didn’t already have his heat, he would’ve thought it was that.  He closes his eyes and wishes he was in bed.  He looks down at his watch. 6:30pm.  He frowns.  He’s been going to bed early every night for what feels like weeks now.  Sometimes he falls asleep while talking to Jungkook on the phone without even realizing it or while Jungkook’s reading to Taehyung.

Jungkook has been staying later at the gym to train.  This is the biggest, most important fight yet and he’s been putting in the extra work.  But he makes sure to come over every single day and read with Taehyung. Sometimes he stays the night, other nights he goes home, but arrives early the next morning to pick up Taehyung so they can go to the gym together.

Taehyung takes his sweater off and throws it to the side of the floor.  It’s like a furnace in here. “Is it just me or is it warm in here?” he asks Jungkook who turns to look at him.

“It’s warm, but then again, I’ve been working out.  You’re warm too?”

Taehyung nods.  “Yeah, and my head is killing me,” he replies rubbing at his temples again. 

“Still? It’s been a couple of days Tae.  Maybe you should see a doctor.”

“For a headache? You’re starting to sound like Jin and Yoongi.  Off to the doctor or the emergency room for a paper cut,” Taehyung says rolling his eyes.

“It’s not a paper cut though.  It’s a headache that’s lasted for days now,” Jungkook says concern flooding his eyes. “And you look a little pale, tired.”

“Whenever someone tells someone else, they look tired it’s a backhanded way of telling them they look like shit.  Are you trying to tell me I look like shit Jungkook?”

Jungkook tilts his head and gives Taehyung an incredulous look.  “Seriously? You’re the best-looking person I’ve ever seen.  You could never look like shit.  Now saying that, yes, you do look tired.  You fell asleep so early last night.  How is that possible?”

Taehyung yawns and rubs his head. “I tossed and turned all night.  I woke up in night sweats.”

Jungkook frowns. He walks up to Taehyung and feels his forehead.  “You’re a little warm. Maybe you’re getting a cold or something? You’re taking your meds, right?”

“Yes Jungkook, I’m taking my meds.  And forget I said anything.  You’re as annoying as Yoongi and Jin,” huffs Taehyung.

“Oh, so I’m annoying now am I.  And to think I was going to take you out for ice cream tonight.”

“I don’t think so Jungkookie, I just want to get home and go to bed.  I’m really tired.”

Jungkook is taken aback.  Taehyung has never once ever said no to ice cream.  This is new.  And strange. “Tae, are you sure you shouldn’t make an appoint—“

“I’m sure.  End of story Jungkook.  I don’t want to keep going around in circles about this.” Taehyung bends down to pick up his sweater.  Jungkook watches as Taehyung’s shirt rides up and his eyes widen in shock.

“What the fuck Taehyung! Who did that to you?!” Jungkook takes Taehyung by the waist holding him steady and bends down.  Taehyung stares at Jungkook confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“The fucking massive bruise on your back the size of a small country.  Tae, did something happen? Did someone do this to you?” Jungkook angrily asks ready to kill.

“What are you even talking about? I’m with you all the damn time! When do I have time for anyone to do anything to me?” Taehyung walks towards the mirrored wall and turns.  He has a bruise that takes up nearly half of the bottom of his back.  His heart drops.  He feels his breathing pick up. 

“Taehyung? Did you fall or something? You said you bumped your arm and that’s what caused the other bruise.  What—what are you going to sell me about this one?”

“You think I’m lying about the bruises? Why would I do that? I don’t know how I got them.  I must’ve just bumped into something.  People get bruises all the time,” Taehyung says trying to not only reassure Jungkook, but himself.  He tries to ignore his fatigue and his headache.  It’s a cold.  He’s just coming down with a cold.  “It’s just a cold,” he says out loud hoping if he says it enough it’ll manifest.

“Colds don’t cause bruises like that Taehyung.”

“I’ve always bruised really easily.  You and I were play sparring again.  Maybe that’s what happened.”

Jungkook stares at Taehyung.  He’s not sure why, Taehyung has never given him a reason to not believe him, but at this moment he doesn’t buy a thing Taehyung is trying to sell.

“You’re overreacting again Jungkook.  You can’t do that.  Overreact for every little thing that happens to me.”

“You don’t want me to worry? How can you ask me that? Of course I worry.  You’re the most important person in my life.  I’m going to worry.  And maybe I would be less worried if you were straight forward and open about your illness.  I’ve known you for over a year now and I still don’t know why you were sick.  Or what was wrong with you.  If you’re still sick.  Do you have any idea how frustrating that is?  To be in the dark like that about your health.”

Taehyung takes his sweater and grabs his bag throwing it over his shoulder.  He feels like shit, and this is the last thing he needs right now.  He doesn’t want to stand here and fight with Jungkook.  He’s so tired fighting over his health.  He just wants to be normal for once and not have conversations like this. 

“No! No fucking way!” Jungkook runs and blocks his exit. “You’re not fucking running away from this like you always do! Fuck that, Taehyung!”

“Please move Jungkook.  I can’t do this with you right now.”

Jungkook takes his hands and holds firm, “If not now, when? How long Taehyung until you finally let me in fully.  Until you finally let go and really let me in? Because you hold me at arms length.  You pull me close to only pull away just as easily.  If you’re fine as you say.  If you aren’t sick.  If you’re as healthy as you always claim you are then why the fear of getting close to me? It’s bullshit! All of it! You’re afraid! You’re afraid you’ll get sick again and what that means if you get close to someone,” Jungkook tries to pull Taehyung closer, but Taehyung pushes him back.

“I—I can’t do this with you tonight Jungkook.  I’m sorry.  I really can’t.” Taehyung pushes past him running out of the gym. The heavy gym doors banging hard. The sound left resonating in Jungkook’s heart.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung stands in front of his mirror and stares at the bruise on his back and then at the one on his arm.  He checks the rest of his body.  He’s clean.  He breathes a sigh of relief. He probably just absentmindedly like a complete klutz ran into something and hadn’t even noticed. 

He opens his cabinet and takes out two ibuprofens for his headache.  He swallows them down and stares at his reflection. Jungkook is right.  He looks tired and pale, but that could be due to his restless sleep lately. 

He sighs and throws his T-shirt back on.  He shuts off the light and heads into his bedroom and gasps. 

“Hi Princess.”

“Hi…Yoongi or Jin?”

“Jin,” Jungkook is sitting in Taehyung’s hanging chair looking worse for wear. 

“Are you here to fight with me some more?” Taehyung asks.

“No.  I’m sorry.  I—I sort of lost it tonight, but you have to understand where I’m coming from with this Tae—“

Taehyung closes his eyes.  He’s so tired.  He opens them and sits on his bed.  “I know.  And I do understand.  But I need you to understand something too Jungkook. I don’t think you have a clue what I went through when I was sick and the reason why I don’t want to talk about it,” Taehyung’s eyes water.  “I don’t want to cry over that part of my life anymore.  You don’t know this Jungkook, but I spent 3 years sick.  Three years.”

Jungkook gulps. He gets up and sits next to Taehyung. “Tae—“

“No, I need you to listen. Three years of my life where I had to give up on everything.  Because I wasn’t just sick Jungkook.  I was dying,” Taehyung bites his lip. “I used to complain about a cold, a sore throat as a kid. It wasn’t until I got really sick where I didn’t know if I was going to wake up the next morning that i realized and wished I had that cold I had complained so much about.”

Jungkook wraps an arm around Taehyung’s waist and sits closer.

“I was in and out of Mass General for those three years.  I lost friends, my job, I had to quit medical school.  My boyfriend at the time dumped me because it was too much for him to handle.  You don’t realize what kind of people you really have around you Jungkook until you get sick. Suddenly everyone is too busy to give you the time of day.  Not that it mattered much anyway.  Did you know Yoongi started sleeping in my room, in my bed with me just so he could make sure I was breathing through the night. That’s the type of shit I’m trying to forget.  The stuff I’m very happy to pretend never happened.”

Jungkook pulls Taehyung close and hugs him tightly.  Taehyung puts his head on Jungkook’s shoulder. “I’m not trying to be difficult with you. I’m not actively trying to keep you at bay or withhold things from you.  What I’m doing is protecting myself.  Trying to forget the time in my life where I didn’t know if I would have the chance to take another breath.  And yet I’m reminded of it everyday.  I know you’ve seen my bathroom counter.  The number of pills I have to start my day off with just to be ok.  With shitty side effects that continue to ruin my life and make me feel like a damn patient.  Please understand if I don’t want to talk about that part of my life.  If I want to just ignore it.”

Jungkook snakes his hand up and into Taehyung’s hair.  “I’m sorry.  I won’t push you on this anymore. You’re allowed to keep what you need to without any pressure from anyone to talk about.”

“Thank you.  And I’m not trying to keep you at arms length necessarily.  We’re complicated.”

Jungkook pulls back and looks at Taehyung. “Complicated? Complicated how?”

“Have you ever met your soulmate?”

Jungkook looks like a deer in headlights caught off guard by the question. “My soulmate?”

“Yeah.  Have you ever met them?”

Jungkook looks deep into Taehyung’s eyes and for a split second his mind wants to say yes.  So does his heart.  But his mouth…”No. No, I’ve never met them.”

Taehyung nods.  “Do you believe in soulmates?  In the concept I mean. Would you give your soulmate all the care and chance in the world to be their one?”

Jungkook traces Taehyung’s face with his eyes.  Without hesitation, “Yes.”

Taehyung nods.  “Right.  Of course you would.” And when that happens Taehyung would no longer be important in Jungkook’s life.  His priority would shift.  He would be forgotten and pushed aside.  “Forget it. Forget I said anything.”

“Taehyung—“

“Jungkook, I’m really tired.  Do you mind if I lie down?” Taehyung moves and gets into his bed.  He lays his head down and closes his eyes.

“Tae?”

Jungkook’s voice sounds so far away.  And he’s so tired.  He quickly falls asleep leaving Jungkook awake and feeling guilty.  Maybe it’s finally time to tell Taehyung the truth. Jungkook just hopes he’ll understand why he hid it for so long.  Jungkook lies down next to Taehyung and goes to sleep.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung can hear a voice call out to him. He walks a little closer to the carousel but it’s empty.  He hears it again.  A soft whisper. Faint, but he knows it’s her.  Calling out.

“Taehyungie…”

Taehyung takes a step onto the base of the carousel and looks down.  There’s hundreds of book pages on the floor.  He bends down and picks one up.

📖 Roland was neither loved nor hated in Delain. Sasha, however, was loved by all. When she died giving birth to the second son, the Kingdom was plunged into darkest mourning that lasted a year and a day.

Panic settles in when he realizes its pages to his copy of The Eyes of the Dragon.  Pages upon pages of his mother’s book lay ripped out and thrown on the floor of the carousel. 

“Taehyungie…”

He turns towards the voice, soft and welcoming.  Like a beacon summoning him home. “Mom?”

“Taehyungie…”

Taehyung moves toward the center of the carousel where he sees a bright blinding light.  He holds a hand up to shield his eyes from the bright light and starts to walk towards it again.

“Taehyungie…”

“Tae…Tae?”

Taehyung struggles to open his eyes.  It feels like they’re glued shut. 

“Tae? It’s late.  You have to get up,” he hears someone say.

Taehyung finally opens his eyes to see Jungkook staring down at him.  A worried expression staring back at him.

“Jungkookie?”

“Tae, finally.  I’ve been trying to wake you up forever now.  Are you feeling ok?” Jungkook can’t help worrying.  He knows he told Taehyung that he would tone it back and let him be when it comes to his illness and how much Taehyung wants to talk about it, in his case, doesn’t, but this isn’t like Taehyung.  It’s Wednesday. And on Wednesdays Taehyung is an early riser.  Wednesdays are the days he makes sure to be ready and out of the house early…except today.  Jungkook looks at the clock.  Jungkook has been trying to wake him up for the last 15 minutes. 

“I’m so tired, Jungkook.  What time is it?”

“6:30–“

Taehyung’s eyes widen in shock. “What? Why didn’t you wake me up earlier? Wait, why are you even here? You have training and shit I have to get to the hospital!” Taehyung bolts out of bed and goes to take a step. He feels the world spin under him. “Whoa,” he says shakily as he reaches out to take a hold of something.  Jungkook reaches out and holds him up quickly. 

“Tae! Hey, wait, hold steady,” Jungkook says as he holds Taehyung up. “What was that?”

“I’m not sure.  I got kind of lightheaded.  It’s probably just low blood pressure.” Taehyung pushes Jungkook’s arms away making Jungkook frown. 

“Low blood pressure? That’s never happened before…”

“Aren’t you going? Namjoon is going to be pissed you showed up late,” Taehyung responds heading to his dresser to pick out clothes.

“I’m not going to training today.  I’m taking a mental health day…with you.  I’m going to go and help at the hospital with you today…is that ok?”

Taehyung’s face lights up and he smiles, “Really? You’re coming with me today?!”

“I am,” Jungkook responds reaching for Taehyung’s hand. 

“The kids will be so happy to see you! Ok, let me go and get ready and we’ll hurry out of here!” Taehyung hugs Jungkook and heads to his bathroom. 

Jungkook quickly takes out his phone and dials.

“Where the fuck are you? You’re late!” Namjoon breathes down the phone.

“I know, I know.  Look—I need today off.  I need to be able to go to the hospital with Tae today.”

“To volunteer?”

“Yeah. But…” Jungkook trails off.  He lied.  He didn’t take the day off today for a mental health day.  He’s taking it off because something feels off about Taehyung the last couple of days and he feels an overwhelming need to be with him.  Take care of him.  Make sure he’s ok.

“I just—I need the day to be with him. Just today.”

Jungkook hears Namjoon sighs. “The fight is around the corner Jungkook—“

“I know. I know it is, but this is more important.  Taehyung will always be more important. I’m going to take it off whether you give me permission or not.  This is just a courtesy Namjoon.”

Jungkook hears him sigh again. “Fine. But be at the gym at 4am tomorrow.  No excuses.”

“Thanks,” Jungkook says hanging up the phone.  He looks at the bathroom door and sits on Taehyung’s bed to wait for him.

“I don’t care what you say Princess.  I’m keeping an eye on you…now and forever.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung laughs and holds up a finger, he moves toward an empty chair and sits down.  He’s out of breath.  He’s out of breath from playing ping pong with Alex.  “Sorry Alex, I guess I’m getting old.  I can’t keep up anymore,” he jokes as he tries to catch a breath.

Jungkook watches him from across the room where he’s playing Mario kart with a group of kids. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep at night ponders Jungkook.  Taehyung had told him he keeps having this recurring dream that wakes him up at night in a cold sweat.  He didn’t go into detail, but something about his mother calling out to him and finding her favorite book ripped apart. He’s so tired lately, but it has to be due to not getting a full night’s sleep.

“Do you think Tae will play with us?” asks one of the children.  Jungkook smiles and gives her a small nod.  He looks up to see Taehyung still sitting in the chair.  “Tae!”

Taehyung looks up to see Jungkook motioning to him to join them.  He grips the side of the chair and lifts himself up.  “Alex, come on bud, let’s go play with the others,” he says as he makes his way over to the rest of the group.  His legs feel a little wobbly and he steadies himself as best he can without showing it.  He can feel Jungkook’s gaze on him. 

Jungkook thinks he’s stupid.  He knows he’s not here for a “mental health” day.  Taehyung has dealt with the ultimate “helicopter parents,” Yoongi and Jin.  He knows Jungkook is just here to watch him.  He’s not sure if he’s offended and annoyed or completely endeared that Jungkook cares this much about him to do this, push a whole training day aside for him.

“Ok, get ready everyone. The Mario Kart champion is here,” Taehyung says enthusiastically. Jungkook takes him by the arm and pulls him to the side, “Are you ok? I saw you.  You looked out of breath—“

“I’m fine. I told you.  Give it a rest Jungkook.  Either stop asking me or go to the gym.  It’s really starting to annoy me,” Taehyung snatches his arm back and sits in between the group of kids.  “Who’s going first!”

Jungkook sighs as he sits back down. 

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

 “I win,” yells Max. Taehyung giggles and claps.  Max puffs out his chest and smiles proudly.  “I actually beat you Tae! I actually beat you this time!”

“You did! I told you there would come a time where you would be better than me.”

Max frowns. He points to Taehyung’s face. Jungkook turns to see what Max is pointing to.

“What?” asks Taehyung.

Jungkook gets up and moves towards Taehyung quickly just as Taehyung reaches up towards his face mask.  He touches it and looks down at his finger. Blood.  He reaches up cupping the mask putting his head back slightly. He rushes out of the room to the public restroom across the hall.

Jungkook chases after him just as Taehyung shuts the door in his face.  He rips the face mask off. He takes toilet paper and wads it up, holding it to his nose.  He sits on the floor, upright, and leans slightly forward, as he pinches both nostrils shut.  The idea that one should hold your head back during a nosebleed is a misconception.  He learned that in his first year of medical school. 

He turns slightly when he hears a loud forceful knock on the door.

“Taehyung, open the door and let me in,” Jungkook very sternly demands.

Taehyung pinches harder and waits.  He doesn’t answer back.  His headache is back again.  What is happening to him? Because maybe he could explain this away too, like he has everything else, but…this….is…like last time.  Taehyung shakes his head. No.  He’s been taking his medication.  He’s been doing everything he’s supposed to do.  No. He’s fine.  He’s perfectly fine.

He gets up from the ground and stares into the mirror.  He slowly, cautiously starts to remove his fingers from the bridge of his nose.  The nosebleed has stopped.  He cleans himself off and opens the door to find a brooding Jungkook standing in front of the door. 

“Don’t—”

“We’re going to the emergency room,” Jungkook takes Taehyung’s wrist and starts to pull him, making Taehyung grimace in pain. “Let go! Do not make a scene here!” He moves quickly to the nursing station and takes a new fresh mask and puts it on quickly.

“Please, let’s just go and have you checked out,” Jungkook pleads.  He feels a tingle, a dull pain settling into his chest, and it sends him into an anxious spiral of fear.

“I said I’m fine.  I’m not going.  Look, you have to stop.  You’re overreacting.  I wish everyone would stop overreacting like this.  I just want to be normal for once,” Taehyung mumbles.

“It’s how I feel too Tae,” Alex says, making both Taehyung and Jungkook turn in shock.  “I just want to feel normal too.  I’m tired of being a patient.” Alex’ shoulders slump. Taehyung makes his way closer and bends down. 

“I know how that feels.  And even after leaving this place it’s hard to not be treated like that, but the only thing you need to focus on right now is getting better.  You can’t control what people see you as and how they treat you.  You can’t let that be your focus right now.”

Alex throws his arms around Taehyung and hugs him tightly. “I hope you’re ok.  I hated when I got the nose bleeds too.” Taehyung tenses in Alex’ hold.  He pulls away and clears his throat.  “You should head back to your room.  It’s almost time for your treatment. I’ll see you next week.”

Alex nods, “Bye Jungkook. Thanks for coming by.”

“No problem buddy.”

Taehyung stays bent on one knee.  He closes his eyes taking deep controlled breaths.  Jungkook bends down next to him. How does he do this without pushing Taehyung over the edge?  How does he convince him that none of what’s happening lately seems “fine” or normal?

“I know what you’re thinking, Jungkook.  I’m not going.  I—please, just—can we hold off for a couple of days and see if this is just a cold—”

Jungkook wants to bang his head against a wall…and then Taehyung’s.  “This is not a fucking cold—”

“You don’t know that! Actually… you don’t know anything.  Mind your business Jungkook.  I’m serious.  I’m now fully over it.” Taehyung gets up and moves swiftly to the elevator. He needs to get off this unit.  This is not the place to be doing this.  “I can’t believe after the conversation we had last night—after you telling me that I didn’t need to keep justifying myself to you—” Taehyung says entering the elevator.

Jungkook gets in close behind. “Mind my business.? You are my business! You’re my fucking—” Jungkook catches himself and shuts his mouth. He grips the handle in the elevator and breathes. 

“I’m what? What Jungkook?” Taehyung sighs.  The elevator dings and they both exit in silence.  Afraid they may say something that will only further damage them both.

“Jungkook…give me a week.  Give me a week to see what this is.  And if it get’s worse I promise you I’ll go to my doctor’s.”

Jungkook doesn’t want to bargain.  Not with Taehyung’s health.  This shouldn’t even be up for discussion, but he’s afraid.  He’s afraid of losing him and pushing him to retreat back into himself.  He feels like he’s stuck.  “A week? And then you’ll go to your doctor?”

Taehyung nods, “Absolutely.  Just a week.  Enough time to prove to you how much you’re overreacting. Just one week.”

Jungkook hopes he isn’t going to regret this. “Fine. One week Taehyung.”

Taehyung really hopes he isn’t going to regret this.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung prides himself on being a pretty honest person. He’ll admit that he does like to keep a lot of himself reserved and held inside, but there are just some things he feels he can’t share with anyone.  The part of him that’s fear driven.  The part that anxiety grips and takes a hold of, and that part is always associated with his illness.  Maybe he hides it away from himself as well.  It’s always so much easier to ignore and forget than let that fear out to wreak havoc on the rest of your mind.  Imagine if he lets it run amuck?

And despite his reserved nature he believes himself to be someone who values honesty…which is why it’s making it incredibly difficult to look at Jungkook lately.  He’s never lied to Jungkook.  He’s not sure why he’s starting now.

But the reality is he does know.  Because by telling Jungkook the truth, it means he has to tell himself the truth.  The one that is so hard to swallow he’s been hoping and praying every night before he goes to bed, and he isn’t even religious.

Taehyung enters the gym, trying to keep the heavy door from slamming shut after him, but his arms feel like mush, and he can barely open and squeeze through them. 

Jungkook is leaning up against the ropes, his back to Taehyung, caged up against an all-out barrage of hooks from his latest sparring partner. He leans back on the ropes and counters, the first one lands, but his opponent ducks the second and lands a three-hit combo on Jungkook’s head. The last one sending him to a knee.

“Jungkook! Focus! Get you head in the game!” Namjoon reprimands.

Jungkook tries to shake off the blow and looks outside the ring and catches eyes with Taehyung who mouths “Get up.” Almost on- sight, Jungkook stands up. He bangs his gloves together.

Jungkook’s sparring partner comes at him swinging hard. Jungkook ducks the punches, and counters with two hard right jabs to his nose, each one snapping his head back. His opponent stumbles back, then counters with a hook to Jungkook’s stomach.

The round buzzer sounds and Jungkook backs off, looking around the gym for Taehyung.  “I’m taking 5!”

Namjoon sighs and nods his head.  By now he knows arguing with Jungkook is a losing battle.

Jungkook looks to Taehyung’s usual corner. The stool empty with the omega no where to be found. He makes his way to the office and hears that familiar laughter that sends the butterflies fluttering in his stomach.  He opens the door and sees Taehyung laughing with Jimin. He looks refreshed, happy, beautiful. And yet Jungkook can’t shake off that tingle of pain that has settled in his chest lately.

“Hi Jungkookie!” Taehyung cheerfully greets.  “I brought breakfast for everyone,” he gets up and stands in front of Jungkook flicking his chin, “but for you, a protein smoothie.”

Jungkook laughs.  He stares at Taehyung’s face scanning it for any signs of discomfort, pain, sickness.  But he doesn’t see any.  He seems fine and yet…something is off.

“I’m going to take some of this to Hobi and Joon,” Jimin says, leaving the office.

Taehyung readies himself.  He knows Jungkook.  And he knows Jungkook and his incessant question asking. But he doesn’t want to lie.  Not to Jungkook.

“Are you wearing makeup? To the gym?”

Taehyung gulps.  “Um…Yeah. A little.  I don’t know I wanted to look nice today.” Lie #1.  He looked so pale this morning; he looked like he was going to audition for a part in An Interview with a Vampire.  “Maybe I’m trying to impress someone,” he says playfully.

“Yeah? Who? Because the other two alpha’s in this place are taken and I’m already impressed by you and think you’re pretty so—“

Taehyung blushes and smacks Jungkook on the arm. “It’s too early to tease me Jungkookie.”

“How are you feeling?”

Taehyung freezes.  There it is.  The same question Jungkook’s been asking him everyday for the last 3 days since his nosebleed.  “I’m fine.  I told you.  I’m feeling better.  It was just a viral thing.  No big deal.” Lie #2. He’s feeling awful.  He’s so tired he fell asleep on the bus this morning and missed his stop.  And he had another nosebleed yesterday morning.

“Really?” Jungkook asks, narrowing his eyes. 

“Yeah.  I feel great actually.  In fact, I think I’m ready to go out running with you again.” Lie #3. Taehyung is pretty sure if he tried walking to the other side of the gym right now his knees would collapse under him. 

Jungkook frowns.  Taehyung’s scent is off.  It doesn’t smell sweet at all.  It’s not the scent he’s used to at all.  He knew something was off.  “You don’t have to lie Taehyung.” Jungkook walks up to Taehyung and runs a taped hand through his hair.  “You can tell me.”

Taehyung laughs and pushes his hand away. “Tell you what? And I’m not lying.  I’m feeling better.  I am.”

Jungkook sighs, “Tae—“

“Jungkook!” Namjoon says peeking his head in, “5 minutes are done.  Back on the mat.”

“Go ahead Creed,” Taehyung says smiling.

Jungkook smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes.  The scent of burnt pie penetrating every corner of the small office.  “Tae—“

“NOW!” Namjoon yells.

“This fucking guy!” Jungkook angrily yells as he walks out of the office leaving Taehyung finally alone.  Taehyung sits at the desk and puts his head down on his arms. What is he doing? And most importantly what is his body doing?

“Snap out of it Taehyung. You’re fucking fine.  This is nothing.  You’ll wake up tomorrow feeling absolutely 100% healthy and then you’re going to laugh about this.  About thinking what you were thinking.” He gets up and feels the world spin again. He grips the desk and steadies himself.  “I’m fine.  I’m fine,” he repeats as he makes his way out of the office.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung looks up and watches Jungkook take hit after hit.  What is wrong with him today? He’s all over the place.  Completely unfocused. Taehyung can see the frustration building in Namjoon.

“You can't lean on the ropes against a fighter like that... tall as fuck. You drop your weight, and spin keeping him close. Go right through him. What is wrong with you today? It’s like I’m working with a novice again.  Not someone who stands undefeated.”

Jungkook takes a sip of water and spits in the bucket. “Don’t fucking start in on me Namjoon. I’m not in the fucking mood.”

“Jungkookie?” Taehyung stands at the foot of the ring calling Jungkook over.

“Coming Princess.” Namjoon rolls his eyes making Jungkook let out a growl back.  He leans in and whispers, “that fucking eye roll better not have been directed at my omega.  Don’t you know by now he takes top priority. So I’m going to go and talk to him and I’ll be back.”

“Great.  Come back, don’t come back.  Either way when you do, make sure your head is on straight and whatever it is that’s on your mind that isn’t boxing and winning that match is gone.  Because otherwise all of this is for nothing.”

“Asshole,” Jungkook says turning towards Taehyung.

“I heard that,” Namjoon angrily replies.

“You were meant to,” Jungkook says as he stands with Taehyung. “What’s wrong?  Are you not feeling well?”

“I’m feeling fine. I told you.  All better now.” Lie #4.  If he doesn’t go and sit down in the next 5 minutes he might pass out. “The question is, what is going on with you?”

“Me? What do you mean? Hang on,” Jungkook walks to the side taking a small stool and bringing it for Taehyung.  “Here.  Sit.”

Taehyung really doesn’t want to.  Jungkook will just use that as ammunition to say that Taehyung isn’t feeling well, but he really does have to sit down.  “Thanks. Now do you want to tell me why you look like the old Jungkook instead of Apollo fucking Creed.”

Jungkook chuckles, “I can’t believe your whole knowledge of boxing comes down to the Rocky movies.”

“Don’t change the subject. Jungkook, honestly, what’s wrong? I haven’t seen that frightened cat position in months.  Why is it back?”

“How are you feeling, really?”

“Again with this Jungkook.  You have to stop—“

“I know you’re lying.  I know you aren’t feeling well.”

Taehyung snorts, “How? How would you know that?”

‘Because you’re scent gives you away!’ Jungkook wants to scream, but he knows he can’t.  He can’t seem to do anything lately.  Taehyung consumed his thoughts and his feelings before, but this, this is different.  He feels something is wrong.

“Is this why you’re like this? In there?” Taehyung points to the ring.

“I’m worried about you.  You have no idea—“ Jungkook shakes his head, “you have no idea what you mean to me. What you make me feel when I see that you’re hurt or sick.  It hurts me.  Here,” Jungkook points to his heart, “and its not easy to concentrate on shit when you know the one person you never want to see in pain is in pain.”

Taehyung’s heart starts to race.  “Jungkook—“

“Please.  Just tell me the truth.  Are you ok?”

Taehyung swallows hard.  He looks at Jungkook then he looks at Namjoon who is standing by the center ring waiting for Jungkook.  He doesn’t want to lie.  Not to him. 

“The truth is…I was sick.” Lie #5. Was. 

“What do you mean “was?”

“I mean I was sick.  I—I went to see my doctor this morning.  That’s why I was late.  H—he said that I’m having some reaction to one of my meds. He adjusted it and told me I should be fine now.  No big deal.” Taehyung gives Jungkook his best reassuring smile.  He can’t be responsible for Jungkook not focusing on his career.  This is the biggest, most important fight he’s ever had.  Winning this would put him on a level that people can only dream of.  He won’t let Jungkook falter on this because of him.  He’s fine anyway.  Perfectly fine.

“I’m perfectly fine,” he repeats out loud.

“It really was just your meds? You really did go see a doctor? And you’re fine?”

Taehyung feels nauseous.  He’s not sure if it’s from all the lying to Jungkook or he legitimately feels like throwing up. “Yes. I mean he just adjusted my meds today, but yeah.  Totally fine.  Back to normal in a few days.” Lie # Taehyung can’t keep count anymore. 

He sees Jungkook visibly relax.  The next thing he knows he’s being swept into Jungkook’s arms.  He lets himself melt into the hug.  Feeling protected and…loved.  He feels loved in his arms and he never wants to let go.  He wraps his arms around Jungkook and returns the hug back. “Thank you for worrying about me, Jungkookie.  But you don’t need to.  Focus on your fight and less on me.”

Jungkook pulls back and cups Taehyung’s face.  “I can never not focus on you.  You will always be my top priority.  Don’t you get that by now?” Jungkook could care less what all of this may sound like to Taehyung.  He needs him to know how important he is. 

“And you’re mine,” Taehyung responds smiling, slowly taking Jungkook’s hands off of his face. “And I’m telling you, you don’t need to worry.  I’m fine.  And I’m going to be right there cheering you on fight night.  Trust me. What I need you to do is focus on winning. Can you do that? Now that you know I’m fine.” Taehyung feels like he’s entering an abyss.  A dark hole he’s afraid he won’t be able to get himself out of.

“Yes.  I can do that.  And I need you to take care of yourself,” Jungkook replies, reaching up, softly touching Taehyung’s cheek.  “I need you healthy Princess. Can’t have my main cheerleader sidelined.”

Taehyung nods. “Now go. Namjoon’s going to develop an eye disorder with the amount of eye rolls and glares he’s been throwing at us.”

“Fuck him,” Jungkook responds sending his own glare towards Namjoon. “Hey, how about I take you out for ice cream tonight? After our session. Hmm?” Jungkook asks tucking a piece of hair behind Taehyung’s ear.

“Yeah, that sounds great.” Lie # infinity.  It sounds awful.  He just wants to go home and crawl into bed.  “I’ll see you later.  Now go.”  Jungkook smiles and heads back to the mat. 

Jungkook feels relieved.  Taehyung’s fine.  Or at least he will be once he gets his medication readjusted.  Everything is going to be fine. He gets back in the ring with a new bounce in his step.  Stance back to normal.

Taehyung slumps in his stool. How long can he keep this up with Jungkook?  How long can he keep this up with himself?  As if on command, his body decides to answer that very question.  He sits still and frowns.  He can taste copper in his mouth.  His chest tightens.  His heart rate picks up.  He looks and sees Jungkook fully immersed back in his training. 

Taehyung quickly gets up, dizziness threatening him, as he makes his way to the bathroom and locks it.  He stares into the mirror and moves his tongue around his mouth.  There’s that undeniable taste of copper again.  He places a finger on his bottom front gums and looks down.  Blood.  He feels the panic starting to set in.

“No.  No, no, no,” he says leaning into the mirror opening his mouth.  His gums are bleeding…again.  Like the last time. He grips onto the sink, tears welling in his eyes.  He looks down at himself and stands back a bit, lifting his shirt up, looking into the mirror.  He’s covered in bruises…again. Like the last time. 

He starts to let the panic overtake any rationality he has left.  He paces the bathroom but suddenly has to sit himself down, right on the floor.  The dizziness finally prevailing.  He takes out his phone, hands shaking and hits the number he has saved on his speed dial.

“Good afternoon, Dr. Allen’s office.  How can I help you?”

H—h—hi,” Taehyung stops and takes a deep breath trying to calm himself down. “Hi, Ellen, it’s Tae.”

“Oh hi Taehyung! What can I help you with?”

“Um….think you can talk to Dr. Allen and see if he can order a full panel of blood work for me. See if he can have the order ready for tomorrow morning and I’ll go and have my blood drawn.”

“Everything ok Tae?”

“I—I— really don’t think so Ellen.  Im feeling off.  I—I just want to make sure I’m not overreacting you know.  You know how we all are.  We get a sore throat and we’re ready to arrange our funerals,” Taehyung jokes.  “I’m sorry.  That was—I don’t even know why I said that.  I’m just—all over the place I guess.”

“Tae, hey, it’s ok.  I’ll talk to Dr. Allen, and I’ll squeeze you in to go over the lab results. I’m sure he’ll put a rush on it.  Do you maybe want me to schedule you in with Dr. Abrams too?”

Dr. Abrams.  The chief psychiatrist for that unit.  Her main task is to offer support and help patient’s process their illness through individual sessions and groups. Taehyung knows her well.  And he in no way wants to get reacquainted with her again. “No, that’s not necessary. I’m sure I’m fine.  Just—being stupid.”

“Of course.  If you change your mind about Dr. Abrams—“

“I won’t.  Just the blood work and follow up would be great.”

“No problem.  We’ll see you tomorrow morning Tae.”

Taehyung hangs up and stays seated on the floor.  He puts his head in his hands and cries.  He can’t hold it in anymore. He’s afraid.  What will he do? What will happen to Jin? And Yoongi? To…Jungkook.  He cries even harder.  This can’t happen again.  Please not again.

“Tae? You ok? We’re ordering lunch,” Jimin asks through the door. “Do you want anything? Jungkook said you have to eat something and don’t take no as an answer from you.  You know how he gets. So can you come out and pick something?”

Taehyung swallows back his tears.  He sniffles and gets up slowly making sure he doesn’t let the world spin under him again.  He makes his way to the sink.  Fuck.  He needs to clean himself up. “Yeah, I’ll be right out Jimin.  Give me a sec!”

He splashes cold water on his face and rinses his mouth.  Panic settling in the pit of his stomach when he spits and sees the blood in the sink. He tries to make himself as presentable as possible.  He can’t show anyone what’s going on, especially Jungkook.  He needs to focus on himself and not Taehyung.

“Steady Tae.  Steady.  This is all just a bad dream.  It’ll all be fine.  There has to be some sort of reasonable explanation. You’re fine,” he says to the reflection in the mirror.  Dark sullen eyes saying something else back.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung can’t hear anything over the sudden ringing in his ears.  He feels his whole body go cold.  His heart aches. 

“Tae? Tae…are you listening?”

Taehyung blinks and stares back at Dr. Allen nodding.

“We need to get you in immediately to start treatment. Later today—“

“Today?”

“Taehyung—do you fully understand what I’ve told you? Do you want me to call Jin—“

“No! I—no.  And yes, I understand.  Are you—I mean—are you sure?”

Dr. Allen sighs.  “I’m afraid so Tae—“

“But…I took all the meds you asked me to.  I— I didn’t miss any doses.”

“Tae, you know that with this in particular the reoccurrence rate is high.  You did everything you were supposed to.  This isn’t your fault.  It’s no one’s fault.  But what we need to do is focus on how to attack it.  And we need to be as aggressive as it is. I need you to start today.”

Taehyung can’t hear a thing again.  He looks down and sees a lose thread on his shirt.  A button is hanging off.  He starts to play with it lightly until he just pulls, making the button unravel. It tumbles to the floor.  “Things unravel so easily in life don’t they.  They break so easily. Nothing is ever secure.” Taehyung says staring at the button.

“Tae…I really think we should call someone.  If not Jin, then perhaps Yoongi. Or Dr. Abrams—“

“I have to get to work, I’m late,” Taehyung gets up gathering his bag.

“Taehyung, I don’t think you understand the situation—“

“No, I do.  I absolutely do.  I know.  But I don’t want to start today.  I—need to talk to my uncle first. My best friend. My….” I—I just have people I need to talk to first before I do anything.”

Dr. Allen rises from his chair, concern filling his eyes.  “Taehyung, you know this is not something we can sit on.  The survival rate—“

“The survival rate diminishes depending on how quickly we start treatment or don’t.  I know.  I know all that, remember? I—I just need some time.  To tell people.”

“Tomorrow.  I’m scheduling you for tomorrow.  No excuses.  I expect you here bright and early tomorrow morning Taehyung.”

Taehyung looks down avoiding the doctor’s gaze.  “Right.  Tomorrow morning.  I’ll see you then.” He walks out of the office past Ellen the receptionist who is calling his name.  He needs to get as far away from this place, this hospital, as possible.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung exits the Uber and looks down at his phone.  Jungkook again.  He’s been calling him nonstop.  He sends it to voicemail and throws it in his bag. He looks up and sees the fog, instantly making him shiver.  He quietly makes his way through the cemetery to that familiar spot in the back. 

He looks down and closes his eyes.  “Hey mom, hey dad.  It’s been a while.  I know the last time I was here I promised I would come more often and read to you mom—maybe I’m being punished for not doing that, who knows.” He sits down on the ground in front of his parents’ graves, placing his bag in his lap. He digs out his book, his mother’s book, and opens it.  “I thought maybe I could read to you today.”

Taehyung looks up at the sky.  It’s overcast. Cloudy and dark.  It looks like there’s a storm coming.  He sighs and starts to read.

📖The people of Delain loved her because she was kind and good. It was Queen Sasha who created the Great Hospital, Queen Sasha who wept so over the cruelty of the bearbaiting in the Plaza that King Roland finally outlawed the practice, Queen Sasha who pleaded for a Remission of King's Taxes in the year of the great drought, when even the leaves of the Great Old Tree went gray. Did Flagg plot against her, you might ask? Not at first. These were relatively small things in his view, because he was a real magician, and had lived hundreds and hundreds of years.

He goes to flip the page and stops.  His vision is blurring again with tears he doesn’t want to let go of.  He gulps as the tears start to escape anyway.  He’s not surprised.  His body seems to have a mind of its own.  Seems to want to self destruct in on itself. 

“What is it about this disease that makes me so angry? So irrationally angry. Did you feel angry too mom? Is that just normal? And I’m not even sure who I’m angry at.  The first time…I have to admit. I was angry at you.  I was angry at you for getting sick and leaving me.  I was angry at you for taking dad away from me.  I was angry at him for leaving me.  Just anger after irrational anger.  Then came the blame.  I blamed you and genetics for making me sick.  I blamed myself. Fuck, I would’ve blamed the Pope himself if it meant I found some reason, some real reason it was happening to me.”

“And here I am again.  When things were going well.  I—met someone. He’s—he’s everything to me. I—I think…I think I love him.  But…it doesn’t matter much now does it? In a way it’s good he has a soulmate that isn’t me.  Someone who is normal and healthy.  Who can love him the way he was always meant to be loved.” Taehyung shrugs. “Maybe I don’t have a soulmate.  Maybe the universe realized that I’m the one person in the world who is so fucked up that he doesn’t need to bring anyone else down around him.”

“But that’s not true, is it? Because I still have Jin and Yoongi.  And how—“ Taehyung holds back tears, “How do I begin to tell them that it’s happening again…and that I don’t have the strength, the energy, the fucking will to go through that fucking treatment again.”

He looks over and sees the empty plot next to his mother. His chest starts to move at faster bursts, his breathing getting heavier.  The empty spot calling out to him, mocking him. He closes his eyes and tries to breathe, but he’s losing control.  He opens his eyes.

Icy blue eyes stare back at the empty space.  And the quiet solace of the cemetery is suddenly disturbed by desperate screams.  It takes Taehyung a second to realize they’re coming out of his own mouth.  And when he does finally realize, he screams louder.  He yells and cries and throws his bag to the side.  He crawls to the empty plot and starts digging his hands in the dirt flinging it angrily to the side.  He digs and digs as he screams and yells until his body gives up and goes limp. He stops and looks down at himself.  He’s covered in dirt, his fingernails black from the soil. His throat is hoarse and raw from the screaming.

He can hear the nonstop ringing from his phone in his bag.  He needs to go home and clean himself off before he finally heads to the gym.  He tries to get rid of as much of the dirt as he can by getting up and dusting himself off.  He picks up his bag and takes one last look at his parents before he leaves. “I’ll see you both soon,” he says as he leaves to head home.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung is thankful that both Jin and Yoongi were at work.  He didn’t need to explain why he was covered in dirt. He doesn’t want to have to explain anything.  Not yet. 

He’s standing on the platform at Kenmore waiting for the train.  He feels his phone vibrate in his back pocket.  He had turned the ringtone off and put it to vibrate.  Jungkook again. He turns it completely off this time and puts it back in his pocket. 

He stands waiting for the train right behind the warning yellow line that tells you you’re too close to the incoming train.  He stares ahead at one of the billboard ads.  It’s a happy couple, holding hands.  He focuses on their faces.  They look so happy.  He takes a step forward. 

*Beep* “Incoming train for service to Government Center, now arriving.”

Taehyung keeps staring at the happy couple.  There’s that irrational anger again only this time he feels sadness.  Sadness that he will probably never be that happy.  He takes another step forward.  He’s on the edge of the platform.  He looks to his right and sees the train making its way into the station.

Is this how easy it can be? To take one more step off the platform and all of his problems cease to exist.  He lifts his foot.  He can feel the wind pick up around him as the train comes speeding towards them.  He takes one last look at the happy couple and goes to step forward, only to be yanked back harshly.

“What the fuck?! What are you doing kid?! Are you fucking crazy!” yells an older man.

Taehyung looks at him eyes wide.  He grips his bag tightly and runs to the platform stairs heading outside.  He claws at his throat.  He can’t breathe.  He runs outside, out of breath and instantly starts taking in gulps of air.  He leans against the wall of the station and tries to regain his composure.  He pulls out his phone and turns it on ignoring the hundreds of missed messages and calls from Jungkook and orders an Uber instead.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung stands outside the heavy double doors to the gym preparing himself.  He knows he’s about to have to deal with the wrath that is Jungkook.  He knows that he can’t ignore Jungkook the way he has and not have it bite him in the ass.  But he’s tired both emotionally and physically.  And he’s feeling sick.  Really sick.  He doesn’t know how he’s going to get through this.

He takes a deep breath and enters the gym.  He looks to the ring fully expecting to see Jungkook training but it’s empty. Instead, he turns to see Jungkook sitting in Taehyung’s usual stool, staring at his phone. Jungkook looks up, but Taehyung doesn’t see the anger he was fully bracing himself for.  He sees relief. Then concern, a lot of worried concern.

“Where have you been?! You weren’t answering your phone! You didn’t tell any of us you were coming in late. Taehyung, you—you can’t do this kind of stuff to me.  You can’t just disappear like this.  I want you to give me Yoongi and Jin’s number in case of an emergency.  Stupid Namjoon thought I was overreacting and wouldn’t call Jin or give me his number. So I need you to. Ok? Now, where were you?” Jungkook asks, reaching for Taehyung’s hand. 

Taehyung moves it quickly gripping his bag instead, making Jungkook frown. “I had to go see my doctor again.  He wants me to change my medication.”

“Really? I thought he didn’t want to change anything because it was working so well?”

Taehyung snorts. “I guess not.  I’m just debating on whether or not I really want to do that.  I haven’t decided yet,” Taehyung answers staring down at his feet. 

“Debating? There is no debate.  If that’s what your doctor is recommending for you to feel healthy again then you do it.  Simple as that.  Call him and tell him yes. We can go by after work and pick it up so you can start it right away.”

Taehyung closes his eyes and ignores the comment. He opens his eyes and reaches up, tucking a bit of hair behind Jungkook’s ear.

“Your hair is getting long.” He reaches up and then touches his own hair.  “So is mine.  I really liked my hair like this too,” he laments.

“You could have no hair and still be beautiful.” Taehyung’s eyes shoot up to stare at Jungkook as the comment settles into that dark abyss.  That dark place that’s slowly spreading, like venom, through every part of Taehyung’s mind and heart. 

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. What are you doing worrying about me anyway? You should be focused on the fight.  It’s just a couple of days away.”

“I’ve told you before, I’d rather be focused on you.”

“You know, if you keep saying things like that—“ Taehyung sighs.

“Maybe I say them because I mean them.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t.”

Jungkook frowns. He stares deep into Taehyung’s eyes, and he doesn’t like what he’s seeing. “What? Tae, are you ok?”

“Fine. I’m fine.”

Jungkook can’t help thinking back to what Taehyung said to him a few months back…

“Who do you think you’re talking to, hmm? I am the inventor of the “I’m fine, yet I most definitely am not fine” club.  I invented that club.”

“Tae? You would tell me, right? If you weren’t. Fine I mean,” Jungkook asks.

Taehyung feels that venom continue to spread. “Of course I would.  I would definitely tell you.”

“Good.  Ok. Of course you would.  I’m sorry for doubting you yet again.  You just had me so worried. Namjoon! We can start now! I’ll see you in a bit Princess.  Here, sit down and read your book.”

Taehyung sits on his stool, but he doesn’t take out his book.  He just sits.  Sits and stares at the wall.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook walks into the gym and sees Taehyung already there sitting in his usual spot.  The only difference is there’s no book.  It’s been like this for the last 3 days.  He comes and sits on that stool and just stares at the wall, barely saying a word to anyone.

Jungkook can only assume it has to do with his new medication. It takes a readjustment period and Jungkook is sure Taehyung is just having a harder time getting there.  But at the same time, it’s stranger than that.  Because he can somehow feel Taehyung pulling away.  Becoming more reserved.  Pulling back from him specifically.  He’s tried to bring it up, but Taehyung brushes his concerns off just saying he wants Jungkook to focus on the fight. The fight that is two days away and Jungkook is both nervous about it and yet couldn’t care less about it because of the strange feelings he’s getting from Taehyung.

Taehyung looks up and waves.  He offers him a smile, but it doesn’t feel right.  It’s off, just like everything about Taehyung lately.  “Hi Jungkook.” And that’s the other thing that is so small and stupid that it shouldn’t bother Jungkook, but it does.  Taehyung has stopped calling him “Jungkookie.”

“Morning Princess,” he says handing Taehyung a cup.

“What’s this? A vanilla milkshake?”

Jungkook laughs. “You and vanilla ice cream. Always on your mind.  No. Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s one of those protein smoothies you always get me.  It’s healthy.”

“It’s not a vanilla shake? You sure? I swear I could smell vanilla ice cream?” says Taehyung turning the cup and then putting it to his nose.

“Tae, you can’t smell anything,” jokes Jungkook. 

Taehyung stares at the cup again.  He’s stopped taking any medication.  What’s the point? It’s not needed anymore.  It’s not doing anything for him anymore. And by doing so, he swears his sense of smell is beginning to return.  He doesn’t know if it’s psychosomatic or what, but there are moments when he’s convinced he can smell bursts of things.  Like this morning he is almost positive he smelled the coffee wafting from the Starbucks he passed by.

“Thanks for the smoothie,” he says placing it on the floor next to the stool.

“I want you to drink it. Don’t leave it there,” Jungkook says to him just as Namjoon comes up behind him. “Jungkook! You’re late, come on man let’s get started.  The fight is in two days.”

“I know that Joon.  You don’t have to remind me.” They are interrupted by Taehyung’s phone going off.  He looks at it quickly and sends the call to voicemail.

“Everything ok?” asks Namjoon.

“Yeah.  It’s just my doctor’s office. Probably calling to see how my new meds are going. I’ll call them later.” He’s been avoiding his doctor’s calls since that day in Dr. Allen’s office.  He missed his first treatment appointment the next day and since then the calls have been incessant.  He’s glad for HIPAA, because if it wasn’t for patient privacy and confidentiality rules, he’s positive Jin and Yoongi would’ve been called by now.

“Well call them back,” Jungkook pushes as he walks away with Namjoon.

Taehyung tosses his phone into his bag and throws it to the side.  He picks up the smoothie taking a sip.  Positive that he can smell vanilla ice cream in the air.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook is running through punching drills with Namjoon, but briefly glancing at Taehyung occasionally.  He’s sitting on his stool.  No book. Just staring at the wall again.  He looks back at Namjoon.

“I’m going to tell him,” he breathes out as he hits the punch mitts. Namjoon stops and stares at Jungkook then at Taehyung.

“What?”

“I’m going to tell him.  Taehyung.  I need him to know everything.  That we’re soulmates, why I was the way I was with him when I met him, how I feel about him.  Everything.  I’m doing it after the fight. No matter the outcome I’m telling him that night.” Jungkook takes his stance again waiting for Namjoon to lift his mitts again. “What?”

“How do you think he’ll react?”

“I’m not sure Joon.  I lied.  I kept this from him for so long.  Not to mention the way I treated him over it.  I’m scared, but I can’t lie to him anymore.  I can’t keep pretending I’m—“ he looks over at Taehyung who looks lost, in a daze, “I’m in love with him Namjoon.  And I can’t keep pretending I’m not, especially to him.”

“It’s so fucking obvious.  The both of you. I mean the way you basically instantly relax and go all soft alpha the second you smell his scent.  If he only knew the amount of apple pies you’ve baked just to have his scent around,” snorts Namjoon.

“Shut up Joon.”

Namjoon smiles.  “I’m proud of you Jungkook.  You’ve come a long way.”

“I owe it to him.  He’s made me want to be better not only for him but for all of you.  And for myself.”

“So fucking cheesy.  I can’t wait to tell mom and dad.  They’re going to roast you so bad,” laughs Namjoon making Jungkook groan.  “Alright enough standing around let’s do this,” Namjoon puts the mitts up again only to immediately put them down again.

“What’s wrong?” asks Jungkook.

“Imagine if your scent is vanilla ice cream.”

“What?”

“Vanilla ice cream.  He’s obsessed with the stuff.  Imagine if that’s why.  If for some reason he can’t smell you, but he can still taste the stuff and in a weird way it’s why it’s so comforting to him.  It would make sense.  What goes better with apple pie than vanilla ice cream.  Nothing.  A la mode,” Namjoon says laughing. “It would actually be perfect.”

Jungkook scoffs.  “No seriously, fuck off Joon.  I do NOT smell like fucking vanilla ice cream. Come on, let’s keep going.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung looks at the time and rushes around his room. He sees his phone light up and knows he’s going to be in deep trouble when he finally gets to the venue.  He’s running late.  He told Yoongi and Jin to meet him at Jungkook’s fight because he wanted to come home get ready and change after his day of volunteering at the hospital.  But he’s so late now.  He’s had to stop and not only because he runs out of breath so often now, but because the dizziness won’t let up. 

He’s sitting on his bed trying to get his bearings for the hundredth time today.  He slowly stands up and walks to the mirror.  He looks so pale, and he’s lost weight.  A lot of weight. He takes some lip gloss he has on his dresser and dabs it on his lips.  He turns to grab his bag when he feels it.  The liquid dripping down his nose onto his shirt.  He looks down and sees the blood. 

“FUCK!!” He runs to his bathroom and takes a towel. He sits on the edge of the tub punching his nose.  He’s so late.  This is the last thing he needs.  He needs to be there for Jungkook.  He doesn’t want him thinking he’s not important enough for Taehyung to not even arrive on time. His eyes water.  He doesn’t want to cry.  Not again.  He’s been crying nonstop lately.  Not tonight.  Tonight, is about Jungkook. 

He moves to the sink and removes the towel.  He glances at the clock hanging on his bathroom wall and groans.  He’s so late.  He hears his phone ringing again in his room and quickly cleans his face knowing he doesn’t have enough time now to fix his makeup again.  He rushes out of the bathroom.  He looks down and almost forgets that he has to change his shirt again. 

His anxiety is increasing by the minute.  He feels the sobs staring to form in his throat.  The frustration at having his body not wanting to cooperate even on such an important night like this is sending him spiraling. He looks into his dresser mirror, “I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!!”

He feels his legs wobble under him and moves to his bed. He sits down and looks over at his nightstand where the copy of The Eyes of the Dragon sits. 

“Taehyungie, just know baby, there’s nothing a good book can’t cure,” Ryeo said smiling as she handed him The Eyes of the Dragon.

Taehyung leans over and takes the book looking down at it.  The tears start to overflow again as he holds the book and stares at it.  The book cover becomes wet with the over abundance of tears falling.  “I hate you…I HATE YOU!” Taehyung opens the book and as if possessed, driven by a force he can’t control he starts ripping page after page out of the book.  He rips the cover off and throws it screaming and crying as he does.  “I hate you…I hate you,” he cries.  He suddenly stops and looks around.  He destroyed the book.  He destroyed his mother’s book.  He destroyed that last link and connection he had to her.

“Who cares anyway.  Nothing fucking matters anymore.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook stands in the dressing room pacing back and forth.  Namjoon anxiously rubs his hands together looking at Jin who is on the phone calling Taehyung again to no avail.

“Something is wrong.  This isn’t like him,” Jungkook says looking at Yoongi who looks equally distraught.  “Yoongi, can you try calling him again. Please?”

“Sure Jungkook, I’ll try again.” Yoongi takes his phone and starts dialing, but it gets sent straight to voicemail.  “It’s going to voicemail. Jin, Jungkook is right.  I’m going out to look for him.”

“I’m coming with you,” says Jungkook shaking his gloves off.” Namjoon panics and comes running up to Jungkook.

“You have a fight right now.  That a lot of people have sponsored and put in money for.  You can’t just leave.  You’re supposed to be out there right now!”

“I don’t give a fuck! I’m not fighting if Taehyung isn’t here! And he wouldn’t not be here unless there was a good reason.  I’m going out to find him because I already told you, he’s my top priority.  My only priority! All this other stuff doesn’t mean shit if I don’t have him by my side to be a part of it.  Fuck it all to hell!”

“Let’s go Yoongi,” Jungkook says as he angrily sneers at Namjoon.

“I’m here! I’m here!”

Jungkook turns to see Taehyung.  He has never been more relieved to see a face in his life.  “Tae! Tae!”

Taehyung runs into Jungkook’s arms and holds him. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry I’m late!”

Jungkook holds him close, stroking his hair.

“Where the fuck were you Taehyung,” asks Jin.  “You can’t do that! God, you of all people can’t do that to me and Yoongi.  Do you have any idea the things that were running through my head!”

“I’m sorry—“

“That’s enough,” Jungkook says, “I don’t care.  I just care that you’re here and that you’re safe.” He cups Taehyung face and kisses his forehead.  “You scared me again you brat! Stop doing that! Jimin, tell them I’m ready.  I’ll be right out.”

“Tae, I’ll save you a seat, ok?” Yoongi says giving him a smile.  Taehyung nods as Yoongi walks out followed by Jin. 

“Tae, listen.  I don’t want you to disappear after the fight.  Wait for me, ok? I—I have something I have to tell you.  Something I want to talk to you about. Promise me you’ll wait for me.”

“I promise Jungkookie.  I’ll wait.  I’ll see you after you win.”

“For you.  I’ll win for you.”

Taehyung gives him one last hug before leaving the dressing room.

“I’m ready now Namjoon.  Now I’m ready.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook "Golden Boy" Jeon and Carl “The Beast” Duncan meet in the middle of the ring, the referee between them, their corners behind them.

“Touch ‘em up!” the referee loudly proclaims.

Jungkook touches gloves with Duncan, and heads back to his corner.

Hobi and Jimin head out of the ring. Namjoon turns back to face Jungkook, he grabs him by the face and pulls him close.

“It's you now, got it? It's all you, this is what you've been waiting for. Get it done Jungkook!”

Jungkook nods, intensely. Namjoon steps out of the ring and looks back.

Jungkook turns around, and the sound of the crowd fades out for a bit, while he looks and sees that only he, Duncan, and the referee remain in the ring. Duncan looks at Jungkook, bouncing, looking relaxed and focused. Jungkook glances to his left locking eyes with Taehyung.  His soulmate. His omega.  His everything. He sends him a wink and smiles, making him blush.

DING! DING!

The noise of the stadium rushes back as the fighters head towards each other, coming within arms reach right in the middle of the ring. They stop and posture, Duncan standing in a perfect stance.

He throws the first punch, a stiff left jab, Jungkook blocks it and sends one back, Duncan ducks it and catches Jungkook clean with two counters.  He quickly shakes off the hits and grabs him making the referee intervene.

“Alright, break it up, break it up!” he yells.

Taehyung sits in his chair.  He’s sweating, but not due to the fight.  He has a fever, and it feels like it’s only getting worse.  He doesn’t even know how he managed to get himself out of his house and into an Uber to arrive here in time.  He grips onto his chair and closes his eyes trying to take breaths of air.  He thinks he might pass out here. 

Yoongi turns and becomes as pale as Taehyung looks when he lays eyes on him.  “Tae, What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

“No…no I’m fine,” he says through gritted teeth.  Jin turns to see Yoongi’s worried expression. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks leaning into both Taehyung and Yoongi.

“Nothing,” Taehyung answers.  His heart is beating so fast.  He feels nauseous. “Everything is fine! Just focus on Jungkook!”

The fighters back up, and then the referee sends them back at each other. Jungkook bounces in on Duncan, sending out a couple of jabs. Duncan blocks all of them and sends a couple back at Jungkook. Jungkook ducks the first few and tries to counter with a left jab, Duncan slips it, and gets Jungkook into the corner. He begins sending shot after shot at Jungkook. He dodges a few of them and tries to do a hard slip to the right, when WHAM!

He is caught flush in the side of the head by a left hook from Duncan. Jungkook is wobbled by this. The crowd explodes and Duncan raises his fists to show the crowd that he is about to finish him off.

“Tie him up and bang him on the ropes!” yells Namjoon.

Jungkook does just that.

“The body now! Touch the body!” Namjoon yells again.

Jungkook jabs three times to work his way in. Duncan throws a big right, which Jungkook slips beautifully, and drives a hard wide left hook to the ribs. Duncan lets out an audible grunt of pain.

Duncan is hurt, as he spins out, Jungkook throws a five-punch combo as the bell rings.

Taehyung puts a hand to his forehead.  He’s trying desperately to hold on.  He promised Jungkook he would wait for him after the fight.  He can’t just get up and leave. 

“Taehyung—“ Yoongi starts to only be immediately cutoff by Taehyung.

“Don’t! I’m fine!”

Hobi flips the stool over for Jungkook to sit down into it. He sits down and Namjoon takes out his mouthpiece. Hobi works on the right side of his face with an ice pack.

“Keep doing what you’re doing.  If you see an opening hit with a hard right on the chin,” Namjoon says.

Jungkook nods. Namjoon puts his mouthpiece back in and Jungkook stands up. The team jumps out of the ring. Jungkook turns and looks at Taehyung who gives him a weak smile.

DING! DING!

Jungkook and Duncan approach and begin to circle each other. Jungkook keeps his right hand cocked and creeps up on Duncan with more patience.

Two quick jabs from Duncan, but Jungkook slips both of them. He continues to creep in, patient, not bouncing like before. He takes a quick jab at Duncan, who sidesteps it and reverses his footing, cornering Jungkook. He sends rapid shots at Jungkook, who goes into defense mode, caging up. Duncan fakes backing off, and then comes in with a rapid-fire combo. Jungkook narrowly slips the hard left of Duncan.

Taehyung who was momentarily standing drops to his chair.  He puts his forehead down against his hand.  He can taste copper again.  “Yoongi,” he says weakly, gripping onto Yoongi’s wrist. Yoongi looks down.  What he sees makes his stomach drop. Taehyung looks pale.  He’s shaking.  Eyes drooping.  “JIN! JIN! TAEHYUNG!”

Jin looks over to see his nephew barely conscious.

Jungkook goes for the combo, dropping his left low, faking the right, and brings up the right hook, driving Duncan’s chin upward, and WHAM, a hard right lands with audible force. Duncan crumbles.

Jungkook backs off, right hand still cocked as the referee runs in waving his hands. KO

Jungkook quickly raises his hands and runs to the corner. Namjoon lifts his hands and runs into the ring.

“Way to go, Jungkook! That was amazing!

“We got ‘em, Joon. We got ‘em.”

Jungkook turns to look for Taehyung and suddenly he feels it.  “AH!” He reaches up and grips his chest. 

“Jungkook?!”

Jungkook turns to look for Taehyung and sees a crowd forming.  He rips his gloves off clenching his chest and runs out of the ring. “MOVE! GET OUT OF MY WAY!” Jungkook forcefully makes his way through the crowd.  His chest feels like there are a hundred knives cutting deep.

“Taehyung!” Jungkook finally reaches Taehyung and finds him on the floor surrounded by Jin, Yoongi, and medical personnel.  “Taehyung!” He kneels down next to him and touches his face.  He looks lifeless. “What happened?!”

Jin is gripping Yoongi, crying, who has his own tears streaming down his face.

“What happened?!” Jungkook yells again.

“I don’t know.  H—he looked sick the whole time.  I’m not sure.  He went to get up and all of sudden he fainted.  He’s burning up Jungkook. We’re not sure.”

Jungkook watches as paramedics examine Taehyung.  The paramedics open Taehyung’s mouth to examine him.  “Bleeding gums,” the paramedic mentions to his partner. 

Yoongi grips Jin. “Jin!”

“No.  Please God no.  Not again.”

Jungkook turns to looks at Jin. “What?! What is it?!”

Jin sobs, gripping onto Yoongi tightly.  The paramedics place Taehyung on a stretcher and take him out, Jungkook gripping onto his hand not letting go.  Everyone follows close behind.

“We’re taking him to Mass General. One person can ride with him. Decide now. Quickly.”

“I’m going,” Jungkook says not allowing anyone to put it up for debate.  He enters the back of the ambulance with Taehyung not letting go of his hand.

“It’s going to be ok Princess. You’re going to be fine,” Jungkook says.  He repeats it over and over again until they arrive at the hospital. 

“Sir, you can stay here while we take him back.”

“No! No way! I’m going with him.  I’m not leaving him alone.” Jungkook tightens his hold and doesn’t intend on letting go.  His eyes turn a bright red.

“Sir, I’m going to have to call security if you don’t let go of the patient and let us do our job.”

“I’m not letting him go!” growls Jungkook.

“Jungkook! Let him go! Now!”

Namjoon comes running with Jin. “Jungkook, Taehyung isn’t well.  He needs help.  You need to let them take him back.  They’ll come to get you as soon as he’s better.  Let go.”

“I can’t Joon,” Jungkook eyes tear, “what if I let go and he doesn’t come back.  Joon, I can’t survive without him.  I won’t want to.  Please.  Don’t make me give him up.”

Namjoon walks up to Jungkook and puts a hand on his shoulder.  “He’ll come back.  He will.  You have to have faith and let them do their job.  But he’s sick.  And right now, you’re keeping him from getting better.  Let go Jungkook.”

Jungkook reluctantly let’s go. Taehyung is wheeled back into the emergency area. Jungkook leans against the wall and falls to the floor. He puts his head in his hands and does the one thing he avoids doing.  He cries. Sobs that shake his body and are uncontrollable.  Namjoon sits next to him on the floor and places his arm around him pulling him close.  He holds him close letting Jungkook sob and release his anxiety and his fear.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jin sits with Namjoon, Hobi, and Jimin.  He looks to the end of the waiting room where Yoongi sits in the far corner away from everyone. Jungkook is pacing the area, mumbling to himself.  Everyone is on edge, not knowing what is going on.  

“Something is wrong. Why hasn’t anyone come out yet?” Jungkook asks biting his nails.  He grimaces in pain.  The ache in his chest intensifying the longer he’s away from Taehyung.  “Where is he?!” Jungkook yanks at his hair.

“Jin?”

Jin looks up, his whole-body slumping in dismay when he sees Dr. Allen standing, waving him over. He rises from his chair quickly and glances at Yoongi who’s slumped in his own chair, not making an effort to move. “Dr. Allen?”

Jungkook looks up and rushes over with Jin.  “Are you Taehyung’s doctor? Is he ok? Can I see him now?”  Dr. Allen gives Jungkook a confused look and looks at Jin.

“This is Jungkook.  He’s Taehyung’s soulmate.” Dr. Allen nods in understanding and grips the clipboard he’s holding.

“I’m not sure if you are all aware of this, but Taehyung didn’t show up to his treatment last week—”

“He did.  He saw you.  You changed his medication.  He said he was sick due to side effects from his last ones and that you changed it,” Jungkook says.

“He lied…”

“What?” Jungkook asks, turning around to see Yoongi standing behind them.

“He lied.  I saw it.  I knew there was something off.  I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.  Trust him.  And a part of me—fuck a part of me was living in denial…even though I fucking saw it.”

“Saw what?!” asks Jungkook.

Yoongi looks at Dr. Allen, “He’s sick again, isn’t he?” Dr. Allen sighs.  He sadly offers a small nod making Jin burst into sobs.  Yoongi’s lip quivers, teeth chattering. His whole body starting to shake.

“Sick? What—” Jungkook looks to Yoongi with pleading eyes. He wishes someone would just be honest with him.  Tell him what is happening to Taehyung.  He knows it’s bad.  He can feel it in his heart with the way it aches for him.

“Jungkook…Taehyung has cancer.”

Jungkook is positive he feels the moment his heart splits in two.

Yoongi looks him in the eyes, as tears stream steadily down his face.

“Taehyung has leukemia.”

Chapter Text

“Taehyung has leukemia.”

Jungkook has never been claustrophobic and he’s in a fairly large open room right now, but he feels the world closing in around him.  He reaches up scratching at his neck.  His vision is blurring.  He gasps for air, but nothing seems to be working.  He drops a knee to the floor fearing he may black out. 

He suddenly feels a large hand move up and down his back, then around in circles. 

“Jungkook, listen to me.  You’re having a panic attack.  I’m going to help you through it. I need confirmation you can hear me. Can you squeeze my hand?”

Jungkook gasps for air, but somehow through it all he squeezes the hand in his as best he can. 

“Good.  I need you to breathe in as slowly, deeply and gently as you can, through your nose. As you do, you’re going to count from 1 to 5. Then you’re going to breathe out slowly, deeply and gently through your mouth as you count from 1 to 5 again.  Close your eyes.  Focus on your breathing.

Jungkook does just as he’s told.  He closes his eyes and focuses on taking a deep breath in through his nose…1, 2, 3, 4, 5. He breathes it out slowly through his mouth…1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

“Again, Jungkook.  You’re doing great.  Just like that.”

Jungkook repeats the process two more times. Finally, his vision starts to clear.  Everything becomes clearer again.  He wishes it didn’t.  He wishes he were still living in the moments previously, before he knew.  When he was naïve and in blissful ignorance.

“Taehyung has cancer?” he breathes out, looking to his side as he sees Namjoon continue to run circles on his back. 

“Jungkook, can you try to get up for me?” Jungkook finally focuses on the voice in front of him.  The voice who just helped him through the panic attack, Dr. Allen.

Namjoon places his arm around Jungkook’s waist helping him up.  Jungkook feels shaky, physically fine, except for the sharp pain in his chest that only seems to be worsening. 

“Great, now that we’ve focused on Jungkook and his little freak out, can we please get back to the important issue here?! My nephew!” Jin is shaking, tears streaming down his face.  He impatiently rubs his hands together, taps his feet on the floor.

“Jin, honey, please.  Jungkook—“

“I don’t give a fuck about Jungkook! I want to discuss my nephew and his care! You know what? Leave.  All of you.  I only want family here. Everyone else take off.  Yoongi, come on.  Dr. Allen, can we talk somewhere more private—“

“We can.  Let me find a free room we can utilize.  One second.” Dr. Allen moves towards the nursing station leaving Jin anxiously picking at his nails.

“Jin, Jungkook has every right to be here,” Namjoon says, taken aback by his soulmate’s sudden behavior and outburst.  This is unlike Jin, but then again none of this is normal. 

“Namjoon is right. I have every right to be a part of that conversation as any of you do,” Jungkook replies, still shaky from the panic attack.  His anxiety is like a bulldozer smashing into his chest over and over again.  He’s not sure how much of this is a reaction to the news or the bond with Taehyung. 

“You have NO rights.  Let’s get that straight Jungkook.  You think I’ve forgotten what you were like with him at the beginning? And now what? You want to act like the caring soulmate? Bullshit!” Jin doesn’t care if he’s being unreasonable.  Life is unreasonable.  Unfair.  Angering. He’s angry.  And right now, the only person he sees fit to throw it at is Jungkook.

“Jin—“

“Don’t get involved Namjoon! You have no idea what’s coming! You have no clue the kind of people he needs to have around him! This disease—he needs people who are supportive! Not someone who flies off the handle and has so much baggage of his own he can fill a fucking Boeing 747!”

“That’s not fair Jin! Jungkook has changed! Taehyung and him—“

“I love him!”

Everyone turns to stare at a shaking, crying Jungkook.  “I love him! And you’re right! About all of it! I was horrible, mean, toxic. He never should’ve forgiven me! I said horrible things.  God, I told him I hoped he would…” Jungkook’s eyes blur.  He looks at Yoongi who wipes his eyes and looks down at his feet. 

“I didn’t deserve his forgiveness.  But he gave it to me.  After everything I said and did, he forgave me, and we moved on. We—we were happy.  I—I was so happy with him.” Jungkook sits in one of the waiting room chairs and puts his face in his hands. “I was going to tell him everything after the fight.  I was going to finally tell him he was my soulmate.  How lucky I was to have him.  H—h—how much I love him,” he breaks down again and sobs. 

Namjoon also wipes at his eyes as he makes his way to Jungkook, offering him support.

“He deserves to stay Jin.”

Jin looks at a Yoongi in disbelief.  “Are you serious?! You hate him! You know what this was like the last time Yoongi.  He needs so much support—“

“And Jungkook will give it to him. In a way that you and I could never do.  Because it’s not even about the soulmate bond.  Taehyung doesn’t even know about that,” Yoongi looks at Jungkook and shakes his head. “I had my doubts.  I didn’t trust you, but you set out to have him fall for you regardless of the bond.  He didn’t fall because he knew he had to.” Yoongi turns to Jin, “Taehyung fell because he WANTED to.  He fell in love with Jungkook for who he was.  Regardless of that bond.”

Yoongi walks closer to Jin and takes his hand; Jin shuts his eyes tightly trying to keep the tears in. “I know you’re angry.  So am I.  But if we know anything it’s that the anger is useless.  It makes us feel good temporarily and then we’re left still feeling as empty as before.  We all have a tough fight ahead of us.  Especially Taehyung.  He needs him, Jin. And…there’s something you don’t know…”

Jin looks at Yoongi, confused. Questioning.

“We met when we were kids.  We formed that bond with each other the night of his dad’s funeral.  We chose each other.  And I’m positive you know what that means.  I’m not leaving him.  Not now, not ever.”

Jin casts a skeptical gaze at Jungkook.  Namjoon walks cautiously towards him and nods. “It’s true.”

Jin fixes his cold gaze on Namjoon, “You knew?  You knew about this and didn’t tell me?”

“I’m sorry. Jungkook asked me not to,” Namjoon replies, eyes clouded from tears.

“I’m your fucking soulmate!”

“And he’s my brother.”

“What do you think this will do to Taehyung?! My God! The diagnosis and now this! He never wanted that! A bond like that…why? What did he ever do to anyone to deserve all of this pain and hurt? This won’t end well Jungkook! If the fucking cancer won’t kill him, you will! You don’t get it! He loves you just as much and when he finds out that he’s tied to you like this.  That he’ll be responsible for your—oh my god,” Jin slumps in a nearby chair. “I’m going to lose my nephew,” he sobs. 

“You won’t,” Jungkook rushes to Jin kneeling in front of him.  “Taehyung is strong.  He’s the strongest and bravest person I know and have ever met.  I know he can beat this thing.  He did it before and he’s going to do it again. I know he will.  I trust he will.  The universe did not put him in my life just to snatch him away from me like this.  I won’t fucking let it.  I’ve been trampled on, kicked, beat down my whole fucking life.  Taehyung is the only thing that that has ever given me life.  When everyone else took and took, he gave.  He gave me love, and understanding, and forgiveness.  No one had ever given me any of those things before Jin.  Not the way he did. Do you honestly think I’m going to let anyone take him from me…from you, from Yoongi? We are going to fight this fucking disease and I’m going to live happily ever after with Taehyung, both of us old and grey with grandkids running circles around us.  Because Fuck Cancer!”

“Ahem,” Dr. Allen stands smiling at Jungkook. “I have a private room we can talk in.  Shall we?”

Jin gets up walking past Jungkook who is still kneeling on the floor. Yoongi sighs as he goes to follow Jin and Dr. Allen.

“Well? Are you going to just stay there all night or are you going to come with us?” Jin asks Jungkook who opens his eyes wide in shock. “Come on alpha.  Don’t make me regret this.” Jungkook jumps to his feet. “You,” Jin directs his gaze to Namjoon, “can wait out here.  We can talk later.”

Jungkook quickly follows behind entering a small office. Dr. Allen leans against a wall not making an effort to sit down.  Neither does anyone else.

“Taehyung came to me a little over a week ago as he was having some troubling symptoms.”

“What kind of symptoms?” asks Jin.

“Bruising, headaches…nose bleeds,” Jungkook replies instantly.

“You knew?” Jin asks.

“He kept telling me it was a reaction to his medication.  I didn’t know.  He never wanted to talk about his illness.  Never wanted to talk about his time when he was sick.  The first time I heard he had cancer was just now, from you,” Jungkook motions to Yoongi who nods.

“He was also experiencing dizziness, fatigue, and bleeding gums.  We arranged for a complete blood count.  It showed abnormal levels of white blood cells and abnormally low platelet counts. We also performed a CT scan to rule out if the cancer has spread to anywhere else we should be focusing on.”

“And? What did you find?” Yoongi asks. Jungkook holds his breath.

“The good news is that it hasn’t spread.”

Jungkook exhales, relieved. “That’s great then, right? So what’s the plan? How do we cure it?”

Jin closes his eyes as tears fall again.

“Jungkook,” Dr. Allen finally takes a seat in one of the chairs and motions for the others to do the same.  They slowly relent and sit down next to Dr. Allen. “How much do you know about leukemia?”

“Nothing Sir.”

Dr. Allen nods and thinks before speaking again. “Taehyung has Acute Myeloid Leukemia or AML. It’s a kind of cancer that attacks the blood and bone marrow making it produce large numbers of abnormal blood cells.  It’s the most common type of leukemia in adults and it really is the type of cancer that usually gets worse very quickly if it’s not treated immediately.  Hence, my push to have him start treatment the same day of his diagnosis.  What I need you to understand Jungkook is that AML has no cure.” Jungkook gulps, bottom lip quivering. “Our job is to aggressively treat it to prevent it from spreading.  We work to place it in remission making sure all the blood cells are normal and noncancerous.  And then we continue to work on prevention and maintenance in order to prevent a recurrence from happening. Now, there are several stages to AML and Taehyung has now entered the recurrent AML stage.  This simply means the cancer has recurred after remission. I explained all of this to him that day in my office and then the plan to start treatment immediately that day.  He had hesitated stating he needed to discuss it with all you first.”

Jin snorts bitterly, “He didn’t.  Not at all.”

“He must’ve felt so lost.  So alone.  He had to go through this all by himself because he was afraid,” Jungkook slumps in his chair, tired eyes falling on Yoongi who looks so defeated.

“Taehyung’s blood platelets were dangerously low.  He’s anemic and the blood loss acerbated everything at once.  We were able to give him a blood transfusion temporarily only as a symptomatic treatment.”

Jin rubs his temples; his head is pounding.  “What’s the treatment plan?”

Jungkook looks at Dr. Allen and notices his eyes. They look dark and solemn.  “The plan was to aggressively attack.  Chemo-radiation. Taehyung would be placed on both chemotherapy and radiation simultaneously.  The chemotherapy would weaken the cancer cells which then helps the radiation work better.”

“When will he be starting?” Jin asks.

Yoongi looks at Jin and grips his chair.  He knows why Taehyung kept it all a secret.  He remembers back to that conversation they had one night at Sligo’s.

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

“Jin is going to kill me when he finds out you’ve been drinking,” *hiccup* “then he’s going to murder you.” Yoongi giggles and takes another sip of his whiskey.

Taehyung waves a hand in front of Yoongi’s face. “I. Don’t. Care.” He bursts into laughter and calls Tom over again. “Tommy, another beer please.”

“Tae, I think that’s enough.  You really aren’t even supposed to be drinking.  If Eddie finds out he’ll—“

“Eddie is off tonight, and you are in charge, alpha. Come on please,” Taehyung pouts, large puppy dog eyes on full display.  Tom relents and opens another beer placing it in front of Taehyung. 

“That’s the last one Tae. Ok? I don’t care how many more times you take out that pout of yours,” Tom says walking away.

“He likes you.  It’s almost sad how much he chases you around,” Yoongi says downing the rest of his whiskey.

“Yeah, well, he’s a nice guy and all, but I just don’t like him.  Not like that.”

“Right. Because you’d rather pine over guys that treat you like shit,” scoffs Yoongi.

“Why does he? Why do you think he hates me so much?” Taehyung puts his head down on the bar and contemplates.

“You ask that every day.  The answer is never going to change…he’s an asshole and he hates you.  End of story.  Stop thinking so much about Jungkook and enjoy the night.”

“Enjoy the night,” snorts Taehyung.  “I’m going to wake up so hungover tomorrow and I’m supposed to go to work…you know what, fuck it! I’m calling in! I never call in. I’m going to sleep all day and not move from my bed.”

Yoongi chuckles.  “I’m right there with you then.  But set an alarm so that you can wake up and take your pills, then go back to sleep.”

Taehyung grimaces and pushes his beer aside.  “One day of not taking them won’t hurt me…”

Yoongi frowns deeply. “Yes, it will.  Don’t set an alarm.  I’ll wake you up.  I’ll make sure to wake you up.”

Taehyung stares off into the distance, eyes glazed.  “Do you think this medication will work forever? Do you think I’ll never get it again?”

Yoongi reaches for Taehyung’s arm and squeezes it.  “Yes. It’ll work.  It’s in remission. Your blood counts continue to be normal.”

“Yeah now. But what if—“

Yoongi takes Taehyung’s hand and holds it, “Then we’ll deal with it like we did the first time.  Kick it’s ass like we did the first time.”

“Barely,” snorts Taehyung.  “I—I don’t think—“ he sighs, “if this were to happen again Yoongi I don’t think I have it in me to fight that hard again.  It was too much. The treatment—when I think back to how sick it made me, it sends me into a panic.  I don’t think I would want to go through it again.”

Yoongi looks at him, not being able to believe his ears. “So what? You would just not do anything? You would just give up? Just let it take you?”

“We’ve been taught to trust fate.  That the universe has these things lined up for us—the whole soulmate thing. But what if it’s just not soulmates.  What if there are things that happen that are just supposed to happen.  If I get sick again…maybe, it’s fate.  Maybe it’s the way it’s supposed to be.”

“Are you fucking crazy?! TOM DON’T SERVE HIM ANYMORE! Listen to me this is not fate.  This fucking disease is not fate.  You’re in remission because you fought hard against it.  And if it happens again, we’re going to fight twice as hard.  I will never let you just give up.  You’re my best friend.  I love you. And if you think I’m just going to let you die—“ Yoongi swallows down tears and pulls Taehyung into a hug. “You don’t even believe in fate! You hate it! Stop talking like that!”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Yoongi opens his eyes tears escaping unrelentingly. “He doesn’t want treatment,” he says having everyone turn to look at him.  “I don’t think Tae wants treatment.”

“He’s right.  He told you?” Dr. Allen inquires.

“A while back.  He mentioned it.  He doesn’t want treatment.”

Jungkook bends over in pain.  He grips his chest.  How could Taehyung not want treatment? He’s just giving up? “Why? Why wouldn’t he want treatment?”

“Because it’s a fucking nightmare.  Because he turns into a shell of himself while trying to look for the old him.  The treatment is just as bad as the disease, worse sometimes—“

“He’s getting it done.  End of discussion.  He doesn’t get to decide something that ridiculous.” Jin gets up angrily from his chair.

Dr. Allen rises as well. “He can Jin.  He’s an adult with his own autonomy.  If he signs a waiver stating he fully acknowledges he is refusing treatment and what will come of that, then yes, he is in all his right to make that decision.”

“Can I see him please?” whispers Jungkook.  He thinks if he doesn’t see him, touch him, he’s going to go insane.

“No one sees him until I do.  I need to talk to him.  He’s going to be here a few days correct Dr. Allen?”

“He will be yes.  If he were to start treatment, we would start an aggressive, intensive round of chemotherapy for a full week.  Then the schedule will be more like the one he had the last time. Coupled with radiation.”

“Yoongi, will you go home and make him a bag? Bring his things.  Some books?”

Yoongi sighs.  Jin is so far into his head right now, he’s not listening.  He’s only going to push Taehyung to close off even more.  But Yoongi knows where this is coming from.  Jin lost so much already.  And he always felt so guilty for not being able to find a solution, a way to break that bond in time to save Han.

“Ok Jin, I’ll go.”

Before Yoongi can say anything else Jin turns to Dr. Allen, “I’d like to see my nephew now.”

Dr. Allen nods, “I’ll take you to his room.  They both walk out leaving Yoongi staring at a crouched Jungkook.

“Jungkook, want to come with me? You could help me pack his bag.  Fill it with things you know he would like.”

Jungkook wants to scream to cry.  All he wants to do is be by Taehyung’s side.  He just wants Taehyung.  “Yoongi,” Jungkook says eyes watering.  Yoongi kneels in front of him.

“Look at me.  I know it hurts, but then think about how much it hurts him.  This is where I need you to step up and be strong.  He’s going to need you more than ever.  It’s about to get really bad Jungkook.  Really really bad especially after Jin talks to him.  Jin is angry, Tae is angry and scared too.  I’m sure of it.  It won’t be pleasant.” Yoongi gulps.  “I’m going to need help.”

Jungkook looks up into tired, desperate eyes.  “I’m going to need help convincing him he needs that treatment.  I’m going to need help taking care of him.  I’m going to need help calming myself down when I inevitably also lose my shit and feel like giving up.  It was so hard last time Jungkook.  Our “friends” they sort of just started disappearing when things became really bleak.  Dark.  They couldn’t handle it.  We were so alone.  I know he can do this again if he’s surrounded my people who love and care for him.  But I can’t have you losing your shit every second of the day.  I know it’s different for you.  I know the bond hurts, and I also know it’s shitty of me to say this, but you need to put your own shit aside for a bit.  He—he needs you. Please.” Yoongi takes a controlled breath, “I can’t lose him.  He’s not just my best friend.  He’s my brother.  Please help me Jungkook.”

Jungkook feels every word, every emotion.  They hit him like the blows he takes in the ring, each one robbing him of breath.  He knows he’s been through horrible, difficult things in his life, but he has a feeling nothing will compare to what’s about to come.  Because this isn’t just about him, it’s about Taehyung.  And for him, he’s willing to go through the worst.  He’s prepared for what this bond has to throw at him.  He’s ready to show Taehyung what it means to have a soulmate.  Why it’s not a curse.  Why finding each other and making that choice themselves is the best thing that could’ve ever happened to them.  He’s ready.

He sits up straight and takes a deep breath.  He ignores that pain that settles into his chest and into his heart. He wipes his eyes as he gets up.  Yoongi rising as well.

“Ok Yoongi.  I’m ready.  Let’s go get a bag ready for Tae.  The sooner we go, the sooner I can come back and finally see my omega.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jin stands outside of the door to Taehyung’s hospital room.  He leans against the far wall and stares at the door.  He’s been standing here for the last 15 minutes.  He hasn’t been able to will his legs to move into the room. 

Jin is trying desperately to sort through all of his emotions.  He doesn’t want the first one to come out at Taehyung to be anger.  Yoongi is right.  He’s so angry.  It’s consuming him.  He wants to break everything around him and then move on to people’s faces.

He wonders why it has to be his nephew.  He has the same genetics.  Why not him? He would 100 times over have it be him and not the boy he has adored and cared for since he was born.  Even when his sister and Han were alive, he and Taehyung were close.  And after they passed, he took responsibility for him even though he was a still a kid himself in many ways.  He had promised his sister he would watch over Taehyung and always protect him. And yet, here they were again.

Jin bangs his head against the wall.  He knows that the person he’s angriest at is himself.  How did he miss this? How did he not see it?  He finally let’s go of the reigns and decides to be less overprotective, and the moment he does it all goes to hell.  He let his guard down and now—

“I’m sorry Ryeo,” he says right before he opens the door and walks in the room.  He looks to his right and sees him.  He locks eyes with Taehyung who smiles weakly. 

“Hey,” Taehyung whispers.  He tries to sit up but is unable to move.  Jin moves quickly and helps him sit up slightly. “Thanks.”

Jin nods and quietly sits in a chair next to the bed.  He stares at Taehyung.  Thoughts, emotions, words, jumbling in his head. He’s trying to sort through them before he opens his mouth.

Taehyung stares back and rolls his eyes.  “Really? Nothing? I know you’re itching—“

“What the fuck were you thinking?!” As much as Jin was trying to not let the anger take over he can’t help it. 

“There it is. That’s more like it.  Is Yoongi pissed off too? I’m going to say he’s more hurt than angry at me for keeping this from him.”

“You—how could you not tell us? How could you not go to your treatment appointment? You’re acting like a child Taehyung.”

Taehyung closes his eyes.  He knew this was coming.  All the various reactions that would come at him when people finally knew.  He’s not sure why but he expected the overwhelming anger from Yoongi, not necessarily Jin. 

“Where’s Jungkook?  Did he win his fight?”

Jin looks at Taehyung absolutely dumbstruck.  “Jungkook? His fight? Who the fuck cares about that?! Are you kidding me?!”

“I care.  I care Jin.  You know what he means to me. Does he—does—“

“Does he know you’re sick? Have cancer? Yeah. He knows.”

Taehyung glances at the door.  He nods disappointedly.  He doesn’t know why he thought maybe Jungkook would want to be here. See him, but maybe this is better. 

“He’s not here because I wanted to see you first.  I asked him to leave, and that stubborn alpha wouldn’t. He was really scared Taehyung.  You really scared all of us.  We are really scared.”

“Jungkook will be back?”

“Are you only going to ask about him?” Jin sits back in his chair and sighs.  What’s going to happen when Taehyung finds out the truth of who Jungkook is?  Will he care this much then about Jungkook?

“I’m sorry Jin.  I really am. I can lie and say I didn’t actively go out of my way to lie to all of you, but it’s just not true.  To be honest I knew what this was the second Jungkook pointed out that first bruise to me.  I just didn’t want to believe it.  It’s funny what you can convince the mind to believe.  How well denial and ignoring something works…but only for a bit because then your body very loudly reminds you exactly how ridiculous you and your mind are being.”

“Taehyung—Dr. Allen said that you—that you’re refusing treatment.”

“I— I haven’t made a decision yet.”

Jin shakes his head.  He looks away and stares at the wall trying to avoid crying in front of his nephew. “Why? I don’t understand that Taehyung. Why? What do you even mean you haven’t made a decision yet.  There is no decision to make. There’s only one choice.  You start treatment and that’s it.”

“That’s not it.  It’s not it at all and you know it.  Jin, I—I don’t want to go through that treatment again.  And from what Dr. Allen said it’s even more aggressive than the last time.  It has to be because it’s a reoccurrence.  How many times in my life am I going to have to do this? I do this again and it goes into remission and then in a year or two it’ll come back again. Maybe— I don’t want to keep doing this,” Taehyung replies sadly.

Jin furiously wipes at his eyes.  “Taehyungie, please—“ Jin can’t finish his sentence.  He looks back at his nephew and sees the tears welling in his eyes.

“It’s ok Jin.  It’s going to be ok.” Taehyung holds out his hand waiting for Jin to take it.  Jin looks down at it and holds it tightly. 

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook pushes open Taehyung’s bedroom and gasps.  Yoongi looks over his shoulder and also lets out an audible breath.  He pushes Jungkook through so that he can enter the room fully. 

He looks around in disbelief.  “What happened here?”

Jungkook doesn’t answer as he surveys the area.  There are pages upon pages of papers on the floor.  He zeroes in on the bloodied shirt on the floor and walks over to pick it up.  The whole room lingers with Taehyung’s scent, but it’s not normal.  It’s burnt and off.  He throws the bloodied shirt on the floor and picks up a book page.  He turns to see Yoongi do the same.

Yoongi reads the torn page out loud. “Peter was only five when his mother died, but he remembered her dearly. He thought her sweet, tender, loving, full of mercy.” Yoongi turns the page over in his hands and looks down at the floor again. “Jungkook…this his mother’s book.  It’s The Eyes of the Dragon.”

Jungkook looks around the room and spots the book cover he has seen so many times before, held so many times before. Destroyed.  Just like the rest of it.

“Why? Why would he do this?”

“Anger.  This is…rageful anger Yoongi.  And I would know.  I know exactly what that feels like.  What it feels to be so consumed by it that you don’t think.  You just act.  Even it means destroying everything you care about.  The difference is that the last couple of times I’ve had to deal with it I had Taehyung to pull me back from it.  To calm me down.  To make it better for me.  He—“ Jungkook looks around and sits on Taehyung’s bed. “he was alone for it.  No one to help him.  To comfort him.  To guide him through it.” Jungkook drops the book cover to the floor and puts his head in his hands. 

“I should’ve pushed him to see a doctor sooner.  I should’ve asked him.  Hounded him even if it meant he would get pissed off at me. I saw it Jungkook and I just—I didn’t want to believe it again.”

Jungkook looks up at Taehyung's dresser.  He gets up and walks to the top drawer.  The drawer where he knows he keeps it.  He opens it and smiles.  He pulls out the hoodie bringing it to his nose and inhaling.  There’s the smell he’s been craving.  He quickly slips on the hoodie and hugs himself in it. 

“It wouldn’t have mattered Yoongi.  I tried.  I’ve been telling him and bothering him and annoying him incessantly about the doctor.  He wouldn’t listen.  And when he couldn’t take anymore of my nagging he started to lie, and I believed it.  Why wouldn’t I? I had no reason to doubt him.  He’d never lied to me before. I should’ve followed my instinct too.  I could feel it here,” Jungkook points to his heart, “but I denied it too.”

Jungkook bends down and starts to carefully pick up each and every page. He sets them on Taehyung’s bed in a neat pile.

“Jungkook, what’s the point? It’s destroyed.”

“Nothing is ever really destroyed Yoongi.  Things can be fixed and mended.  Brought back to life.  Even the most broken of things,” he places the last ripped piece on the bed with the rest. “Come on.  Let’s get Tae what he needs.  I really need to go back and see him.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung looks out of the window in his room and watches as the rain pelts down on his windowsill.  It suddenly started to rain heavily, and Taehyung loves a good rainstorm. He watches as it gets darker and darker.  Jin left to talk to Namjoon who was calling him nonstop.  Taehyung is thankful.  He couldn’t stand having his uncle sit here and look at him the way he was. With so much desperate sadness.  Pleading at him through his eyes to just get his shit together.

But what he wants Jin to understand, what he wants everyone to understand is that this isn’t a decision he’s taken lightly.  He’s thought about this a lot.  Since entering remission it’s all he’s thought about.  What would happen when it inevitably returned and would he be willing to go through it all again…to repeat it over and over.  A cycle of sickness that he’s so tired and exhausted from.  And no longer wants to be a part of.

He frowns and turns towards the door.  “Great, now I’m smelling things that aren’t there.” He inhales and wonders if he’s allowed to have vanilla ice cream.  “What is that?” He looks around the room and he swears he can smell vanilla ice cream.

The door to the room opens and he smiles instantly.

“Hi Princess.”

“Jungkookie…”

Jungkook enters without apprehension and instead of sitting on the chair by the bed he pushes it aside and sits on the edge of the bed to be closer to Taehyung. He reaches up and touches Taehyung’s hair remembering Taehyung’s comment about how much he liked it this way.  Long. 

“You did not wait until I was dying to try to steal my hoodie?! Alpha, how dare you?!”

Jungkook stares at Taehyung’s face, memorizing every feature.  Every eye lash, every mole.  He wants to remember this face for the rest of his life. He clears his throat and slips the hoodie off over his head. Taehyung holds it down and shakes his head.

“I was just kidding.  You can have it back.  I want you to—“

Jungkook gets up and places it against Taehyung’s body, the IV making it difficult for him to put it on Taehyung at the moment. “I’m not taking it back because it belongs to you.  I gave it to you. It’s always going to belong to you.  You can let me borrow it when I want it.”

“Jungkook—“

“Here’s the thing Princess, I’m willing to support you in whatever you decide to do. If you want to start treatment, I’ll be here holding your hand,” Jungkook reaches down and takes Taehyung’s hand. “If you decide—“ Jungkook steadies his voice careful to not let his tears control him, “that you don’t want to go through with any of this—then—“ he looks down at Taehyung’s hand, a single tear falling down on it. “I—I’ll support you and your decision too.  And I’ll be here holding your hand the whole way.  Until our last dying breath together.”

Taehyung lifts a hand to his eyes and covers them.  He tries to hold back tears, but he can’t.  They flow down under his hand and stain his cheeks. “Why do you have to be so nice? Why can’t you just go back to being an asshole? It would make everything so much easier for me!”

Jungkook sits back down on the edge of the bed and chuckles.  “That’s easy. Because I love you.”

Taehyung lowers his hand as his mouth drops. “What?” he asks softly. 

Jungkook leans into his face and smiles.  “I love you.  I love you, Taehyung.”

“Is this—is this some cruel joke? Some plan you devised with my uncle to get me to do treatment. Jungkook…what is this?”

“This not a joke. Or a trick. This is me being honest with you. I love you.”

Taehyung tilts his head to the side, “Why? You hated me.”

“I didn’t.  And I don’t.  And there are so many reasons why Taehyung.  So many reasons to list. But…I think I realized it the first time you made me cry.”

“I made you cry? But…you don’t cry.  You told me.”

Jungkook lifts his hand and caresses Taehyung’s cheek, making him exhale and shiver at his touch.  “You constantly make me smile.  You make me laugh like no one ever has.  And when you smile because of someone it’s a special feeling,” Jungkook keeps gently stroking Taehyung’s cheeks staring deep into his eyes. “But when you cry for someone…it’s love.  Pure love.  I’ve never cried for anyone.   Not for my parents, not for myself.  I cried for you. And that’s when I knew.  I loved you. I love you.”

Taehyung closes his eyes and releases tears that Jungkook swiftly strokes away with his finger.  Suddenly, Taehyung feels a press of lips on his own. Warm, soft lips that tasted just as he imagined they would. His lips slowly melting with Jungkook’s. The kiss was innocent and compassionate, with just the right amount of pressure. Taehyung subconsciously moved his hand towards Jungkook’s silky, black hair, to which he responded by gently licking his bottom lip, giving him permission to roam Taehyung’s mouth with his tongue. The kiss felt perfect and right.  And neither one of them wanted it to end.  Jungkook reluctantly pulls back and stares into Taehyung’s impossibly large eyes.  He rubs his thumbs along Taehyung’s bottom lip and kisses the tip of his nose.  “I love you,” he repeats again.

Taehyung eyes well with tears again.  “I don’t think you know what that means…now that I’m sick.”

“It means that I’ll continue to love you no matter what happens.”

“Jungkook…if you’re able to be so honest with me then I need to tell you too.  I need to tell you now more than ever that I—“

“Nope.  I don’t want to hear it.  I only want to hear it when you’re healthy. Otherwise, I don’t want to hear the words,” Jungkook says very seriously.

“Jungkook…that’s—that’s not fair.  You—I don’t know what I want to do yet.  My emotions, my thoughts on my cancer are everywhere.  What I feel for you is the one thing I’m 100% sure of.  Please at least let me tell you that.”

“No.  I told you. I only want to hear it from these lips when they’re healthy. Not like this.”

Taehyung frowns. “But—what if I choose not to continue with treatment.  What if I never get healthy again—what if I,” Taehyung swallows down a sob. Jungkook cups his face and kisses his lips gently, softly again.

“Then I guess I’ll never hear it.”

“This is manipulation,” Taehyung says through sobs.

“Maybe.  But I don’t think so. I don’t need to hear those words exactly to know how you feel.  It would be nice to hear them, but I told you.  I want them to come out of these beautiful lips…when they’re healthy.”

“That’s not fair Jungkook.”

Jungkook sighs. “I think we’ve established that life isn’t fair Taehyung.”

Taehyung pulls Jungkook close and down next to him on the hospital bed.  He cuddles into him and closes his eyes.  He inhales and sighs.  “Jungkookie? Can you find out if I can have ice cream? I swear I can smell it all around me.”

Jungkook freezes.  He pulls away slightly.

“Imagine if your scent is vanilla ice cream…Vanilla ice cream.  He’s obsessed with the stuff.  Imagine if that’s why.  If for some reason he can’t smell you, but he can still taste the stuff and in a weird way it’s why it’s so comforting to him.  It would make sense.  What goes better with apple pie than vanilla ice cream.  Nothing.  A la mode…It would actually be perfect.”

“What?” Taehyung asks.

“Nothing. Are you smelling things again?”

“I think so, yeah. I think my sense of smell is coming back. Ironic, isn’t it?” Taehyung scoffs. “Apparently everything is coming back.”

Jungkook puts an arm around Taehyung and feels his heart beat faster. “Tae…I have to tell you something else.”

Taehyung looks up, “Something else? You mean there’s more? What could possibly top Jungkook Jeon telling me he’s in love with me?”

“Tae—“

“Jungkookie, whatever it is, can it wait? I think I’ve just about had as much news as I can take for a day.  And I’m really tired.  And really not feeling good.  Can we just lie here? Can you just hold me? Please?”

Jungkook debates on telling him anyway.  He needs to.  He needs to be honest about everything, but he also doesn’t want this to influence Taehyung’s decision.  The thing is he knows Taehyung is conflicted, but he also knows where Taehyung’s heart is leaning.  He can feel it.  Yoongi saw the destruction of that book as defeat.  Letting go.

Maybe it’s the fact that Jungkook has felt that kind of rage before and knows and understands why Taehyung did it. Perhaps this is why he’s not as worried as everyone else is.  He knows once Taehyung’s rage subsides; he’ll make a more rational decision. He can just feel it.

Jungkook pulls Taehyung closer wrapping him in his arms.  “Tae…Yoongi and I found your mom’s book.” Jungkook feels Taehyung tense in his arms.  Taehyung starts to cry into his chest. 

“I ruined it,” he cries. “I ripped it apart.  I was just so angry Jungkook.  It was the one thing that felt good to take it out on and I’m not even sure why. I’m not sure how or why I would do that to that book specifically.”

“Maybe because it’s so tied to your mom and her illness too.”

“It was the last thing I really had that connected me to her.  And I destroyed it.”

“Can you explain to me why you couldn’t tell me Tae? Why you kept this all to yourself?”

Taehyung cuddles up closer to Jungkook.  “I didn’t want to admit it.  Not to you, not to Jin, or Yoongi. And especially not to myself.  I’m scared.  I’m so scared Jungkook. This has no cure.  It was in remission, and it came back.  It’ll always come back—“

“Tae, you don’t know that—“

Taehyung pushes Jungkook slightly, “But I do! Look where we are! I knew it would come back at some point and here I am.  Having to do this again.  Jungkook the treatment…it scares me.  The cancer scares me, but the treatment scares me more.  I know it sounds crazy, but I’m so scared of being that sick again.”

Jungkook sighs and pulls Taehyung back in closer.  “Are you really not going to do the treatment Tae?”

“I don’t know,” he whispers back.  “I’m just so scared.  It’s this endless loop.  I don’t want to be stuck in this endless loop.”

“And the alternative…you—aren’t afraid of the alternative?”

Taehyung goes quiet and closes his eyes. What does he say? That he’s both afraid and weirdly not.  “I told you.  My feelings and thoughts are everywhere. I don’t know.”

That in itself scares Jungkook.  He didn’t say yes, but he didn’t say no either.  “Taehyung, I know it’s your decision.  But I need you to know that I’m here and I’m not leaving.  I’m in this Tae.  For the long run with you.  I’m willing to be here for everything.  Especially the bad.  The worst parts of what’s to come.  If you think you can’t be strong, I promise to be your strength.  I promise to be your voice when you’re too sick to talk.  Just—please.  Don’t give up.  Not like this.  Not without giving it a fight.  You’re my biggest support in that ring.  I want to be that for you. I—want you to give us a chance.  You and me.  A real chance.  And for that you need to be healthy.  You need to be healthy Tae because—I’ve lived my life without you…I don’t want to ever go back to that again.  Not ever again. Please.”

Jungkook kisses the top of Taehyung’s head and releases tears he was trying to hold back making Taehyung shake in his arms.  “I know you’re a fighter and so fucking strong.  More than I am.  Rocky fucking Balboa.” Taehyung laughs and sniffles.

“Am I allowed to say how very weird this is, but also how normal it feels.  Being here with you like this,” Taehyung says wiping his eyes.  Jungkook smiles. 

“Jungkook?”

“Hmm?”

“As much as I want you to stay here with me…and please don’t take this the wrong way, but…I need to see Yoongi.  I’d like him to stay with me tonight.  I spoke with Jin about this earlier and after a lot of huffing from him he agreed.  I just—I need to talk to my best friend.  I need my best friend here.”

Jungkook looks down and lifts Taehyung’s chin and kisses him. Taehyung doesn’t think he will ever get used to just randomly being kissed by Jungkook.  “I was actually planning on going home and letting Yoongi stay.  He’s really worried about you.  But I’m going to be here first thing in the morning.  And I don’t give a fuck what Jin says.  I’m staying tomorrow night.”

Taehyung giggles and nods.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“How did you convince Jungkook to leave and let me stay instead?” Yoongi asks draping the blanket he brought from home over them both. 

“I didn’t have to convince him.  He agreed without any issues.”

Yoongi shakes his head and snorts, “I can’t believe this is the same alpha who accused us of sleeping together and was just the biggest asshole imaginable. But…you know it has to do with you?  You led to that change.  You do know that.  He’s so fucking whipped for you.”

Taehyung covers his face shyly.  “Imagine.  All I’ve ever wanted for so long and now that it’s happening, I’m fucking dying. Imagine that.” He lies his head down on the pillow turning to face Yoongi.

“Taehyung…I know why you feel like you don’t want to go through with treatment again.  I wish it were different and I wish I could say it’ll be better this time, but the reality is it sounds like it might be the same if not worse.”

“I know.  I know that.  And that’s what scares me, Yoongi.  I’m scared.  But just when I think things couldn’t get more complicated Jungkook comes and tells me he loves me. And where does that leave us Yoongi? If I do this treatment and it doesn’t work,” Taehyung takes a deep breath, “I leave him behind. And if it does work, then he’ll be with someone who can never give him a normal relationship.  Why would he want to be someone who he doesn’t have a secure future with?  Who he won’t know how long he’ll have him around.  I can’t give him a normal future.”

Yoongi lies down and faces Taehyung placing his hand on top of Taehyung’s between the two of them.  “You really don’t know that.  There are people who live really long fruitful lives with his disease Taehyung.  They live full lives.  And it’ll be tough.  And you’re right it won’t be normal.  You’ll have to live on maintenance drugs for the rest of your life.  And there’s always a chance of a reoccurrence, but that doesn’t’ mean you stop living.  That you just give up. Your mom never gave up Taehyung.  And I always thought you were so much like her.  Why are you suddenly so against fighting this thing?”

“I told you I’m afraid!”

“And so you let fear and the fucking cancer win out? You let it take the life you could have with Jungkook away from you? Since when do you lie down and let anything step all over you like that?”

“But what if I go through all of it and it still doesn’t work? What if I end up—” Taehyung’s bottom lip quivers. Yoongi squeezes his hand.

“And what if it does work? What if after everything, it works again.  It goes into remission and you and Jungkook can try to live happily with each other.  And we—we’ll still have each other.  Tae…why are you trying to take the one thing that means everything to me and has meant everything since preschool…you.”

Taehyung bites his lip and closes his eyes.

“I promised your mom that I would take care of you.  That I would always take care of you.  We aren’t siblings, you and me.  But it’s like you’re my brother.  And I know I shouldn’t say this.  I know I should be stronger than this and just tell you that I’ll support whatever you want to do, but I don’t want to do that.  And it may be selfish, but I don’t want to go through that.  Losing you.  And again, I shouldn’t be telling you this, but you and I are best friends and we have never sugar coated anything.  We have always been so honest with each other and I’m not going to stop doing that now.  I think it isn’t fair that you’re making this decision without thinking about the people around you.  What it means for us if you don’t do treatment.  This isn’t a decision that just affects you, it affects us all.  How could you think I could be ok with this? How could you think that I would just sit back and let you make this choice and not fight you on it?”

Taehyung cries as he silently listens to Yoongi. “I don’t want you to die, Tae! I don’t want you to die! That is not how this is supposed to go! We aren’t soulmates, but we’re best friend soulmates.  That means something to me.  And it should mean something to you.  It’s always been me and you.  How could you think it would be ok for you to change that and leave me alone! It isn’t fair Tae! I don’t want you to die!” Yoongi cries turning and shoving his face in his pillow.  He feels a hand run through his hair.

“Please don’t cry Yoongs.  Please,” Taehyung pleads.

“I’m not saying that you can’t be afraid Tae.  Your fears are valid, and I hear them. But you’re allowing your fears to shape the biggest decision of your life, stopping you from your dreams. I think you’re afraid of how your life will change and what that could mean. You’re afraid of the unknown, of failure, and most importantly of taking that risk, wondering if it’s even worth it. It’s worth it.  I’m telling you, its fucking worth it.  You are worth it. And you’ll never really get rid of that fear even while you go through treatment, but you can still act and fight.  Isn’t that what courage is,” says Yoongi through tears. “Courage is acting despite the fear. Step into your courage, move past your fears, and start really living your life Tae.  Please.”

Taehyung opens his eyes and stares at his best friend.  He bites his lip again and interlocks his fingers with Yoongi’s.

They are interrupted by a knock on the door.  Taehyung’s night nurse peeks her head in and smiles.  “Hi Tae, how we feeling tonight?”

“Like I have cancer,” replies Taehyung wiping his eyes. Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“Is he always like this?” she asks chuckling, looking at Yoongi.

“Worse,” he replies, smiling.

“Tae, how is the nausea tonight?”

“It’s ok. I think the blood transfusion worked a bit.  I’m feeling a little better.”

“Good, I’m going to give you an anti-nausea med.  You let me know if you need anything else tonight, ok?”

“Um…actually do you think you could do me a favor? Could you give Dr. Allen a message please?” Yoongi frowns and sits up slightly to get a better look at Taehyung. “I’d like to talk to him as soon as possible about starting treatment.  I’m not sure if I could start as soon as tomorrow.” Yoongi lets out a breath as tears flow again. Taehyung turns to him and wipes his eyes. “Don’t cry anymore Yoongs.  I’ll try ok.  I’ll give it a try.  I’m ready to fight my fear and try.”

Yoongi gives him a tearful nod. 

“I’ll make sure to let Dr. Allen know right away Tae.  Anything else?”

“Yes! My sense of smell and taste are coming back.  Can I please have something else other than oatmeal for breakfast?” He scrunches his nose, “It’s gross,” he says sticking his tongue out.

The nurse chuckles again and nods. “I’ll get you something else.  Don’t worry.” She quickly exits leaving Taehyung staring at Yoongi.

“I’m going to really try this, Yoongi.  You’re right.  This isn’t just about me.  I have you and Jin, but I have other people in my life now too. Especially Jungkook. And maybe, I don’t know what will happen.  It could all be for nothing.  It could all go to shit, but I think I at least want to try.  I—I love him. I do.  And he’s really putting it all on the line for me.  He’s even willing to put aside his soulmate for me Yoongi.”

Yoongi feels his heart sink. “What?”

“Jungkook, he confessed to me, told me he loved him despite knowing he has a soulmate.  He’s willing to put fate aside for me.  And I’m willing to fight for him too.”

“Wait…I thought you said Jungkook told you?” Yoongi was under the impression Jungkook told Taehyung everything.  Including the very important soulmate truth. Now that he thinks about it, Taehyung has been too calm.  He would’ve opened with that first.  Jungkook never told him.  Yoongi sighs.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  Nothing’s wrong.  I—I’m just happy. Relieved that you’re going to start treatment tomorrow.”

Taehyung smiles and lies back down next to Yoongi, closing his eyes.  “Oh, and don’t tell Jungkook about my decision for treatment. I want to tell him myself tomorrow.”

Yoongi stays quiet and watches as Taehyung drifts off to sleep.  He knows there’s a storm brewing.  He has a bad feeling about all of this, but all he can do now is stay positive and focus on Taehyung and his treatment. 

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung sits in his hospital bed wearing his favorite hoodie as he savors his last bite of the toast he was allowed to have this morning.  He can taste it.  He can actually taste it and it might be the most amazing piece of toast he’s ever had.  He swallows the last bite and pushes his tray back, a sad pout on his face now that is food is gone.  He can’t wait to tell Jungkook his sense of smell and taste are back. He looks at the clock on the wall and squeals.  The alpha should be here any minute.  He can also finally tell him about his decision to start treatment.

Dr. Allen had been around early in the morning to discuss the plan with Taehyung. He’ll be starting this afternoon. Intensive chemotherapy sessions one week at a time every month for 3 months, while also doing rounds of radiation that would pick up where the chemo left off. The doctor is hopeful for his prognosis and has no reason to doubt remission is possible. Taehyung is still afraid.  It means he has to fully commit to treatment and quit his job again.  He’ll be forced to live in a hospital for a week each month and a little after depending on how long it takes his blood count to to adjust to the chemoradiation.  But he won’t let his fear win over.  He’s going to fight as long and as hard as his body allows him to.

He sniffs the air when the undeniable scent he is so familiar with invades his nostrils.  He frowns.  This is strange.  He knows for a fact there is absolutely no vanilla ice cream anywhere near him.  So why does he smell—

The door to his hospital room opens and he is immediately hit with the overwhelming scent.  It hits all of his senses, making him dizzy, heady.  He feels his whole body relax. He closes his eyes and inhales…then freezes.

“Morning Princess.”

Taehyung’s eyes snap open.  He stares at Jungkook with wide eyes.  That smell.  That undeniable smell…he smelt it when he first stopped his medication…Jungkook was around.  He could smell it again when his senses were continuing to return a couple of days ago when Jungkook came through the door.  He thought he was making it up.  His mind playing tricks on him.  And now, as he stares at Jungkook he can’t deny the scent that is coming straight from the alpha himself.  He can smell Jungkook.  He smells exactly like vanilla ice cream and if he can smell him then that means…

Taehyung’s whole body goes cold.  Tears start to well in his eyes.  “You…you’re…”

Jungkook frowns and starts to panic thinking Taehyung is in pain.  “Tae? What’s wrong? Do you need me to get a nurse, the doctor?”

Taehyung is shaking.  His whole body shivering.  The smell of vanilla overtaking every corner of his room.  Jungkook cringes. He coughs as the smell of burnt pie invades his nostrils. “Tae?”

“You lied to me…”

Jungkook’s breathing starts to turn erratic. “What?”

“You lied to me,” Taehyung repeats, angrily smelling the shift in Jungkook’s scent, going from sweet to sour. “You fucking lied to me!” he screams angrily, tears blurring his vision.

Jungkook moves closer, panicking.  He’s not sure what Taehyung means.  He’s not sure what any of this is. “Taehyung, I don’t know what you mean.  I lied about what?”

Taehyung’s piercing stare cuts through Jungkook.  Taehyung narrows his eyes, tears falling in steady streams.

“You—You’re my soulmate!”

Chapter Text

“You—You’re my soulmate!” cries Taehyung. 

Jungkook feels like he’s moving in slow motion.  Like everything around him is also moving at the slowest speed imaginable.  He moves towards Taehyung who lets out a sob, filled with hurt and pain.

“Don’t! Don’t come near me! Stay right fucking there!” he yells.  He throws the blankets to one side and swings his legs onto the floor.  He grips the side of the bed and pushes himself out shakily standing on his two legs.  Jungkook wants to desperately hold him, help him, but judging by Taehyung’s very burnt scent, he knows that wouldn’t be wise.

“Tae—”

“What? Are you going to lie and deny it? Or pretend like I’m crazy?! I can smell you! I can fucking smell you! What the fuck is this?! I don’t understand any of this!” Taehyung reaches out to hold onto the bed rail, the other hand leaning on his IV stand.  His body is shaking, and he feels so nauseous.  Just when he thought things couldn’t get worse…they’re now worse.

“Taehyung, listen to me.  I—I’ve wanted to tell you. But—"

“But what?! You knew right?! From the second I met you, you had to have realized. Right?”

Jungkook closes his eyes.  He’s not going to lie.  Not anymore. “Yes. I knew.”

Taehyung continues to shake, the anger, and that rage he’s been feeling starting to boil over again. “And you didn’t say anything?! Why? Why wouldn’t you?”

“Tae…I—need you to understand what I felt at that moment—when you didn’t react—when it felt like I was the only one—“

“Because you were! The only one! I couldn’t sense you, smell you! Oh my god,” Taehyung now suddenly realizes the answer to the question he’s had from the very beginning, “that’s why you hated me isn’t it? That’s where the hate came from.  You thought—oh god,” Taehyung grips the bed so tightly his knuckles are turning white.

Jungkook takes a step forward.

“I said DON’T come near me! You’re a fucking liar.  You—how could you not say anything to me? Ask me? Instead, you decided to pass judgement on me and you didn’t even know me.  Didn’t even bother to get to know me,” Taehyung closes his eyes angry tears streaming down his face.

“Taehyung, I need you to understand why.  My whole life I always expected the worst from people.  I never had any reason to trust anyone—“

“Yeah, and instead of asking me you decided to do what everyone always did to you…mistreat and abuse.  The way you treated me…I thought I had done something to you. Offended you in some way, but no.  It was the thing that always wrecks everything in my life.  That fucking soulmate bond.  The constant thorn in all of my fucking problems.  That bond.  What? You thought I was ignoring it? Is that it? You couldn’t even ask…the things—“ Taehyung takes a tearful breath, “the things you said to me. You wished I didn’t—fuck! You hoped I didn’t exist! All because you thought I was rejecting that fucking bond! Well look at you. You got what you wanted huh? You manifested it Jungkook, congratulations.” Taehyung claps and smiles an angry tearful smile.

Jungkook swallows down a sob as he feels his chest constrict. “Please—please don’t say that. I—I didn’t mean that—I—didn’t mean any of those things I said. I—“

“No, but you did though. Because you thought I was slighting you and that fucking bond. So you wanted me to hurt right? I’m hurting now so there’s that…but I’m guessing you are too, aren’t you? Because that’s where this whole fucking thing gets really complicated.  And I guess the jokes on you because as much as you were wishing I would fuck off and die and cease to exist—“

Jungkook grips his chest and releases a painful cry, “Please don’t say that—t—that’s not true at all.

“Now you’re chained to me.  The fucking irony,” Taehyung laughs.  He alternates between laughter and fits of crying.  He thinks he might have finally snapped.  He can’t seem to control his emotions or rationalize anything anymore.

“All because you couldn’t mind your fucking business that night at the park…you just had to stop, didn’t you? You should’ve kept walking.  Not stopped.  Fucked off and ignored me or treated me like shit like you did this time around.  And now we’re here.  Like my parents.  Now you’re tied to someone who is ultimately going to kill you!” Taehyung tightens his hold around his IV and yanks it out of his arm. 

Jungkook panics and surges forward, “Don’t do that! Taehyung—“

“Don’t touch me! Don’t ever touch me again.  Don’t you fucking get it?! You were right the first time. To hate me.  You need to go back to that Jungkook.  I need to you to collect all the anger and hate you felt for me and bring it the fuck back.  Then I want you to go and talk to Jin. Ask him about the specialist he found who might know how to break this bond. And you do it.  Break it! And get as far away from me as you can!”

Jungkook shakes his head, sobs escaping with every breath. “I can’t! I won’t do that! I’m never going to do that!”

“Fine. I will then! I’ll figure out how—“

“No,” Jungkook shakes his head and tries to moves towards Taehyung again who weakly sits on the bed.

“I told you, don’t come near me! Get out Jungkook! Get the fuck out and don’t come back.  Get as far away from here as you can.  I’ll try to do my best to keep us alive until we can help you break the bond. I promise you that.  You won’t die because of me—“

“Taehyung…please. I love you—“ Jungkook cries.

“Because of the bond.  I thought—I thought you loved me just for me.  But—it’s because of the bond.”

“That’s not true! That is not true at all!”

“It is,” Taehyung replies, shoulders sagging. His whole body hurts.  He feels faint.  “Leave.  I don’t want you here.  I won’t do this.  I won’t let you turn into my father.  Not now, not ever.  Get out Jungkook.”

“You think making me leave will fix things? You don’t think that hurts more? I know you’re hurting.  I know you feel betrayed.  You have every right to, but you need to hear me out.  At least give me the chance to explain myself—“

Taehyung scoffs. “Why? Why should I do that? Did you do that with me? Did you bother to sit down and let me explain myself?” Taehyung shakes his head laughing. “Fucking hypocrite.  You didn’t bother to even ask me.  You just decided to treat me like shit every moment you got.” Taehyung closes his eyes.  He has his first chemotherapy session in less than an hour and this is how he’s going into it. 

“Get out Jungkook,” Taehyung coldly states.

Jungkook wipes his eyes and stands up straight.  He stands his ground. “No. I’m not leaving.  I told you.  I won’t leave you.  Not now.  Not ever.”

“GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT” Taehyung yells. Jungkook let’s out another choked sob as he hears the door open as a shocked and concerned Yoongi runs in.

“What—what is happening?”

“Yoongi! Get him out of my sight please!  Get him out of here! I think I’m losing my mind please Yoongi,” Taehyung pleads pulling at his hair.

Yoongi turns to Jungkook who looks in equal distress. “I can’t leave him Yoongi.  I can’t.”

Yoongi doesn’t know what to do, but he does know that Taehyung can’t be in this state and enter treatment like this.  This won’t help him. “Jungkook, I know you don’t want to leave, but you have to. Come on.  You need to go.  Please Jungkook,” Yoongi drags him out of the room. “You need to let him calm down.  He has his first treatment in an hour. He can’t go in like that.  You have no idea what he’s in store for.  This won’t help him.”

“He’s starting treatment today?” Jungkook asks tearfully. “I wanted to be there for him.  For all of it and now—he knows Yoongi.  About the soulmate bond.  About everything.”

Yoongi sighs and rubs his neck. “Fuck. No wonder he’s like that.  I need to go in there.  Calm him down.  He can’t go into his first treatment like that. Jungkook, I know it hurts but, give him time to sit with this. He has a lot going on right now.  And now this too.  His emotions are everywhere.  The soulmate bond, his dad.  All that is still so raw in his heart.  It’s still so traumatic for him.  Just imagine what that feels like for him now.  To know his cancer has come back and that the one person he loves most in the world is now bound like this to him.  He’s seen it as a curse his whole life.  This is just further proving that to him.  Give him some time to process it all.”

“I can’t be without him.  And this has nothing to do with the fucking bond! I love him! Bond or no bond I love him! I selfishly do not want to be without him.  Do you understand that? I’m afraid of losing him.  I’m afraid I’m living on borrowed time with him, now more than ever.  I want to be with him and help him through this.  I don’t think I can be away from him.  I don’t want to! I finally found the one person I can love, the one person I can let love me back, be vulnerable with and you want me to give him up?! He wants me to figure out a way to break the bond so that I can what? Live my life without him? A life without him in it isn’t worth living.  I don’t want to live like that.  I’ve seen what that’s like, and I don’t want that for myself anymore!”

Yoongi’s heart breaks for Jungkook, but it breaks more for his best friend.  And right now, his best friend is sitting alone in that hospital room, distraught and about to start one of the worse treatment experiences ever.  He needs to be with him. “Jungkook, I need to be with Taehyung.  He can’t be alone like this.  Can you understand that?”

Jungkook sniffles and nods. “I’m not leaving Yoongi.  He can say what he wants about the bond, but I’m not leaving."  Jungkook walks to Taehyung’s door and sits on the floor directly next to it.

Yoongi groans and runs a frustrated hand across his face.  “You can’t stay here Jungkook! Be reasonable!”

“I am.  I’m not leaving.  I’m going to be here for him whether he wants me to or not.”

“Fuck,” Yoongi says.  He shakes his head and walks past Jungkook into Taehyung’s room.  He sees Taehyung curled up on his bed, knees tucked up against his chest. “Tae?”

“Why? Why Yoongi? Why him? I can’t—I can’t be the one.  There has to be some sort of mistake, right?”

Yoongi sits on the edge of the bed and pats Taehyung on the shoulder. “Tae—it’s not a mistake and I think you know it.”

“Not him Yoongi.  And not like this.  Not that kind of bond.  It would have been easy.  I could’ve rejected him, given him a clean slate to be with someone normal, but now…now he’s stuck.  And look at me.  My body is a ticking time bomb.  I—I can’ let him end up like my dad Yoongi.  Not him.  I love him too much to see him end up like that.  What do I do? What can I do?”

Yoongi sighs. “You fight.  You fucking fight this thing.  And you realize that no matter how you feel about the bond, it will never change how you feel about him.  Because you fell for him not even knowing about the bond.  Without knowing he was your soulmate.  Doesn’t that mean something?”

“To me yes! But to him—he only fell because of the bond.  Because he knew he had to—”

“Fuck that Tae.  I know you don’t actually believe that.  And I know you only just found out how he feels about you, but don’t tell me you haven’t felt that love for a while now.  And this is coming from me.  Someone who still doesn’t fucking trust him or even likes him all that much and I am telling you he loves you regardless of that bond.”

“Tae?”

Both Taehyung and Yoongi turn to see the day nurse with a wheelchair in tow looking at them with a deep frown.

“It’s time. Also, are you aware there’s a very brooding alpha sitting outside of your door?”

Taehyung scrunches his brows and looks at Yoongi. “Wait…he’s sitting outside my door?! What—he needs to go.  He can’t be here. He needs to get as far away from me—”

“Tae, you know he can’t.  The bond won’t allow that to happen especially when he starts feeling your distress after treatment.  He’s a real stubborn fuck too.  He’s not leaving. So just let him be.  For now, you need to focus on getting better and starting treatment.”

Taehyung nods tearfully. “Is Jin here yet?”

“Yes,” answers the nurse. “He’s already upstairs. You’ll be in the treatment area for about an hour and then moved to the new floor.  Strict instructions will be given to all visitors for the next week until your blood platelets increase again after the chemo and radiation.  Then you’ll be free to go home until you return next month.”

Taehyung stills, “I’m going to be moved to the immunocompromised wing right away?” Yoongi reaches over and squeezes his arm and gives a small smile.

“It’s just a precaution. Due to having radiation done as well,” the nurse replies. Taehyung nods apprehensively. “Are you ready?”

Taehyung looks to Yoongi and nods back at the nurse.  “Ok, get on into your carriage and we’ll be on our way."  Taehyung sits in the wheelchair and he’s wheeled out of the room.

Jungkook jumps to his feet when he sees Taehyung being wheeled out. He walks behind immediately being stopped by a strong hand on his chest. “No.  Jungkook no.  Not now.  Look, he’s going to be moved upstairs after the initial treatment.  To the immunocompromised unit.  You won’t be able to see him anyway unless you go through the whole protocol.”

“I want to! I’ve done it before when I volunteered with him.  I know what to expect—“

“With people that weren’t Tae.  He’s going to be really sick after this.  And right now, he doesn’t want to see you.  Give him some space to focus on his health.”

“But—“

Yoongi groans, “I get it ok. But now isn’t the time.  Let him start his treatment and get in a better headspace.  I’ll talk to him. Just give him time to focus on himself. That’s where the focus needs to be right now.”

Jungkook knows what Yoongi is saying is true.  It doesn’t make it any less hurtful. Painful.  His soulmate and omega is about to start treatment for a disease Jungkook only just found out about and he’s doing it the same way he’s done everything recently. Alone.  Without Jungkook. 

“Fine. I’ll do that because I know his health is the priority right now. But I’m not leaving.  I’ll wait upstairs.  And I’m saying it again.  For you, for Jin, and most importantly for Taehyung.  I’m not leaving.  He’s not getting rid of me that easily.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“You ready for this?” Jin asks his nephew as the nurse sets up his IV. Taehyung nods.  Eyes puffy and red.  Solemn look on his face. “Tae?”

“Did you know he was my soulmate too?” Taehyung asks staring up at the IV bag containing his medicine.  He shivers.  Just seeing it again sends his body into fight or flight mode.  But it doesn’t really matter now does it? If he wants to go through with it or not.  He has no choice.  He won’t let anything happen to Jungkook.

Jin turns and looks at Taehyung, eyes wide then looks at Yoongi who drops his gaze, full of guilt as well.

“Thought so,” Taehyung says. 

The nurse attaches the bag to Taehyung’s IV and gives him a reassuring smile. “Ready?”

Taehyung nods.  Taehyung starts to feel that tingling cold liquid enter his arm moving to the rest of his body and shivers. He closes his eyes and sighs.

‘Here we go.’

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung vomits for the third time in the last hour.  It’s been hours since he received his first treatment and it’s starting.  Jin rubs circles on his back as the nurse rushes to give him another clean basin.  She takes a jug of water and places it on the rolling table next to the bed. 

“The nausea medication will take effect soon enough.  Your blood count is low after the treatment.  It was expected Taehyung.  You’ll start feeling better once your platelet count is back to a better number.”

Jin looks down at Taehyung.  He’s pale, eyes sunken, black bags under them.   “She’s right Taehyungie.  You’ll start feeling better again soon.”

Taehyung looks up with skeptical eyes.  “Are you trying to convince me and make me feel better or yourself?” Taehyung hands the vomit filled basin to Jin and lies down on the hospital bed.

“When is he supposed to start the radiation?” Jin asks leaning in and whispering to the nurse.

“I’m right here.  I can hear you.  You don’t have to talk about me like I’m not even in the room,” Taehyung huffs.

The nurse gives Jin a small smile. “Tomorrow.  If your symptoms have subsided enough for you to have the procedure.”

“Can I try to sleep this off for a bit.  I’m so tired.  My whole body aches,” Taehyung asks shutting his eyes.

“Sure Tae. Just buzz the nurses’ station if you need anything else.  And I need you to drink that whole jug of water when you wake up. Ok?”

Taehyung nods without opening his eyes, pulling his knees to his chest. He misses Jungkook.  He can’t differentiate if he’s feeling this kind of pain from the chemo or from the bond.  Either way, he misses him. 

“Tae, I’ll be back later,” Jin says squeezing his shoulder. Taehyung doesn’t react or answer. Jin sighs and exits the room.  He looks to his right and sees Jungkook slumped in a chair, sleeping.  Jungkook had gone home to shower and Jin had assumed he wouldn’t be back for a while, but here he was again. He walks over and kicks Jungkook’s foot waking him up.

Jungkook startles and yawns, stretching and craning his neck to look at Taehyung’s hospital room door. “How is he? How is he feeling?”

Jin sits next to Jungkook and sighs.  He stares at the wall and removes his mask and gloves bunching them up and placing them on his lap. He swats the sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt.  “He’s as expected.  Sick. Nauseous and vomiting.  The fatigue has set in now too. He’s supposed to start radiation tomorrow, but he won’t be able to do that if he’s too sick.”

Jungkook feels the ache.  He feels it constantly now.  A dull even pain that lingers and threatens his sanity throughout the day.  He hasn’t eaten.  He only slept an hour last night.  He feels anxious all the time.  All he wants to do is see Taehyung, be able to explain things to him.  At least be able to just make sure he’s ok.

“Jin,” Jungkook removes the black Thrasher hoodie and holds it in his hands, “I’m not sure what the protocol is for him to be able to have things come inside the room, but…can you give him back his hoodie please.  I—I know how much it means to him.  He wears it all the time and he should have it back.”

Jin stares down at it, “He told me that a young boy had given him that hoodie in the park that night.  That was you?” Jungkook gives a small nod. “He talked about you all the time after that. All the damn time.  How much you helped him.  How you let him cry.  That for some reason was the thing that stuck with him the most. ‘Jin, he let me just cry.  It felt so good to just cry,’ he had said. Were you aware of that?”

Jungkook’s eyes shoot up to meet Jin’s in surprise.  “I wasn’t, no.”

“He disappeared that night.  Ran off after the funeral.  It was only a matter of time before he self-destructed. He had lost my sister and then a week later Han.  He was trying so hard to keep it together, but you could see the cracks forming…sort of how I see them now.  I see that look again.”

Jungkook feels that anxiety, the panic return in the pit of his stomach.  “What do you mean?”

“He’s trying to be strong.  Maybe he thinks he has to be for all of us, but I think he’s mostly doing it because he is a millisecond away from losing it again.” Jin turns to face Jungkook, “It was bad last time Jungkook.  We didn’t have to only contend with the cancer…we had to deal with an angry Taehyung.  He was so angry. At his mom, his dad, himself.  He blamed everyone, but mostly himself.  He tried desperately to find a culprit, place a meaning to it because maybe it made it less senseless and crazy to him.   He went to such a dark place,” Jin wipes at his eyes. “I hope to never see my Taehyungie there again.”

Jungkook thinks about the ripped pages to Taehyung’s book that are sitting in his backpack and thinks that maybe Taehyung has already started to enter that dark place again.  “We won’t let him go there again, in his mind.  We—I mean—you and Yoongi…I know you’ll take good care of him,” Jungkook replies, bottom lip quivering. He holds out the hoodie again for Jin to take. Jin looks down and takes it from Jungkook’s hands.

“I’ll give it to him don’t worry.  You should go home and get some sleep.  You look like shit Jungkook.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “I’m not leaving.”

“He’ll still be here in the morning when you come back.  Jungkook go home and get some—”

“I said I’m not leaving,” he repeats standing his ground.  He’s not going anywhere unless it’s with his omega by his side. 

Jin sighs. “Fine.  There’s really no point in arguing.  You’re as stubborn as he is. Good night Jungkook.”

“Night Jin.” Jungkook watches as Jin takes off towards the elevator. 

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jin comes back upstairs after having had dinner and a very long talk with Namjoon.  He tried to convince the alpha to come and take his brother home, but Namjoon told him there was no point.  Jungkook wasn’t going to budge without Taehyung in tow. 

Jin turns and sees Jungkook exactly where he left him.  He rolls his eyes and grips the bag in his hand as he makes his way over to the alpha. “Here,” he says throwing the bag on Jungkook’s lap. “Dinner. Eat it.”

Jungkook sits up and places the bag on the chair next to him. “Thank you, but I’m not—”

“Yes, you are. You haven’t eaten.  Eat. Now,” Jin sternly demands.  Jungkook raises an eyebrow.  The old Jungkook would have most definitely told Jin where to take that bag and shove it, but he won’t do that.  He can almost hear Taehyung in his ear saying, “Don’t be mean, Jungkookie.” He smiles.

“Wow, Namjoon was right.  You are stupidly whipped.”

“I am.  I won’t even deny it.”

“I have a lead…to someone who might know how to break—”

Jungkook snorts and shakes his head, holding a hand up. “Stop.  I’m not interested.  Not now. Not ever.  I won’t do it.  Till death do us part.  And I know you and Taehyung don’t believe me or don’t understand how I could be so serious about it, but I am.  There is no decision to make other than him.  He will always be the only choice for me.”

Jin smiles. “I can see it now.”

Jungkook frowns, “What?”

“Why he loves you so much.” Jungkook looks down and sees their hoodie draped over Jin’s arm. 

“Are you going to give that to him?”

“I am,” replies Jin nodding.

“Can you—will you also tell him that I love him and that I miss him.”

“I will Jungkook.  I’ll tell him. Now eat.”

Jin moves to the changing room and puts on his protective clothing, gloves, and mask.  He heads back to Taehyung’s room looking down the hall to see Jungkook taking a bite of his sandwich.  He opens the door and finds Taehyung bent over vomiting again.  He rushes to his bed patting him gently on his back. “Tae, still?”

Taehyung nods weakly.  His face holds a whiter shade, paler than this afternoon.  Jin lifts the jug and pours a glass for Taehyung.  Taehyung wipes his mouth and takes the water.  He takes a couple of sips and sets it down.  He lies back down in the fetal position. 

“Tae? Do you want me to get the nurse?”

“No,” he mumbles under the blanket.  “It’s fine.” Jin looks to the small couch where he threw the hoodie when he walked in.  He picks it up and sits on the edge of the bed.

“Taehyung. Jungkook sent you this.” He waits for Taehyung to resurface, but he doesn’t have to wait long with Taehyung immediately leaving the comfort of his blanket at the first mention of the alpha.

Taehyung looks over and smiles.  Jin notices it’s the first time he’s smiled all day. “It’s our hoodie!” He snatches it from Jin and holds it up to his nose.  It smells just like Jungkook.  Vanilla ice cream.  He pulls the hoodie on and cuddles into it.  He’s instantly surrounded by Jungkook’s scent.  It’s everywhere in this hoodie.  He’s starting to feel a little better.  The nausea subsiding a bit. 

“When he dropped this off…did he say anything? Or…”

“He did.  He said that he misses you and…he loves you.”

Taehyung closes his eyes and buries his nose in the hoodie, inhaling.  “He shouldn’t.”

“Why not?” asks Jin sitting in a chair by Taehyung’s bed.

Taehyung gives Jin a judging look, eyebrow raised. “You’re kidding right? You of all people are asking me that? You remember. I know you do.  It’s hard to forget.  You saw him right after she died.  What he turned into.  The choice he made.  His choice left you raising a kid that wasn’t yours.  Or have you forgotten the screams.  And the fucking pain he was in.  Honestly, you think I would ever want that for Jungkook? He doesn’t get it.  He didn’t see it happen right in front of him like we did.  He has NO idea what he’s getting himself into by loving me.  What a death sentence this is. And of course, it would be me.  With fucking death and the grim reaper knocking at my door, waiting.” Taehyung pulls the hood of the sweater over his head and lies down.

“For a long time I thought the way you did.  I would go over it in my head over and over again. What did we miss?  What else could I have done to save him?  I tried Tae.  I did.” Jin snorts, “I even asked that priest to perform an exorcism on him.  Like he was possessed or something.  I was just so desperate.”

Taehyung gulps and grips the hood around his head.  He feels a headache coming on. “And then you wonder why Jungkook should run as far away from me as possible.”

“I never told you what happened in that room before you came in, did I?”

Taehyung turns to face Jin, eyes wide.  “No.  You never wanted to discuss it.  And after a while I stopped asking.”

“Ask me again.”

Taehyung frowns and sits up in bed taking every effort to lift himself up. The heavy fatigue is setting in, but at least his nausea seems to have subsided a bit. He really isn’t sure if he’s ready to hear this.  He’s always asked Jin what happened in the moments his father had finally stopped screaming.  Jin never wanted to talk about it.  Taehyung just assumed it had to do with the guilt he felt over not being able to do more.  “What happened Jin?”

“I had found someone.  An expert.  He had researched this kind of bond his whole career.  He found that nothing seemed to work to weaken the bond.  It was unbreakable.  The people involved chose these bonds themselves and sealed it in ways no one has been able to understand.”

Taehyung sits cross legged in his bed and leans forward, “So…Jungkook really is bound to me? He’s a dead man walking.”

“Your dad was in so much despair.  I tried as best I could to reach him.  Break through to any bit of sane rationality he might’ve had left.  I told him about the specialist.  But that I would keep searching.  I would keep looking and try to help him.”

“And? What happened?”

“He just stopped.  The yelling, the screaming, the pain.  It all sort of just stopped.  And can I just tell you that was scarier than what had been happening.  Because it was so eerie.  One second, he was in so much desperation and then he just…wasn’t.”

“I don’t understand. Why?”

“Acceptance. He finally accepted it.”

Taehyung raises his brows in confusion. “Acceptance?” he scoffs. “Giving up more like it.”

“No Tae.  Not giving up.  He looked me in the eyes and told me that he had loved Ryeo unconditionally and without regrets. The only regret he had was that he would have to leave the only thing he had left of her…you.  He told me how much he loved you and made me promise to always take care of you.  But that he was done fighting the inevitable.  He wasn’t afraid.  He would do this as he had done years ago.  By choosing for himself.  And he was choosing to finally accept that this is just what is bound to happen.  He was comforted in knowing he would see her again soon.”

Taehyung sniffles. “Why are you telling me this? That doesn’t make me feel any better.  It’s a curse—”

“Maybe.  Maybe you’re right.  Maybe the universe is punishing those of you who decided to choose for yourselves—”

“I—I didn’t choose this.  I—we were just at a park.  We held hands.  We didn’t say a ritual and do this.”

“And yet you found each other in a time where you both needed each other the most.  And from the smallest of interactions, you each set on paths that have led you here.  You may not have gone out of your way, but something brought you two together.  Something linked you for all eternity.  Now, you can push it away and be miserable apart. And by the looks of it Tae, you’re already miserable.  This fucking disease is a fucking cesspool of misery.  Don’t you want to be with the one person who makes you feel whole?  The one person who you can share things with and that brightens your day. You know, so then you can properly kick cancer’s ass.”

Taehyung raises a skeptical eyebrow. “You don’t even like him.  Now you’re pushing me to be with him? He lied Jin.  About being my soulmate and then proceeded to treat me like shit.”

“And you forgave him for that and moved on.  And you’re right, he’s probably my least favorite person, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be happy.  And you were happy.  Before all of this shit, you were happy.  I just want you to be happy Tae.  There’s nothing I want more in life than to be able to see you have what Ryeo and Han didn’t…a happy ending.”

Taehyung lets out a scoff, “Happy ending? I’m in a hospital room getting chemo and radiation for an incurable cancer.  Does it seem like I’m headed for a happy ending?”

Jin reaches over and takes Taehyung’s hand.  “Maybe that’s your problem.  You don’t see a future with Jungkook because you don’t see a future for yourself.  You’re going into this already thinking it’s failed.  You spend every Wednesday building those kids’ self-esteem up.  Making them feel like they can beat anything, especially cancer, and here you are doing the opposite for yourself.  What happened to “Fuck Cancer!” Or is that all bullshit you feed those kids?”

“Have you really thought about what’s going to happened if I don’t get better?”

Jin smiles, “No. I’d like to hold onto to the thoughts of what we’re going to do to celebrate when you do get better.”

“Jin…me and Jungkook.  It won’t be normal.  You know all the factors that are working against us.”

“I may not seem it, but I am a romantic at heart.  I think its better to have loved than never have loved at all.  Imagine not even trying? Imagine all of the wonderful things you could be missing out on. And you’re making a lot of assumptions on that alpha Taehyung.  You’re assuming he doesn’t want to jump headfirst regardless of all of these things.  But you won’t know unless you give him a chance to explain himself.  To talk to you about everything.”

Taehyung bites his lip and lies back down in bed, pulling the covers over himself. 

Jin sighs and rubs his back. “Just think about it.  Ok?” He sees Taehyung quietly nod.  “Visiting hours are over Tae.  I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow.”

Taehyung doesn’t answer.  He just cuddles into the hoodie letting the scent of vanilla ice cream lull him to sleep.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jin walks onto the hospital floor with Yoongi in tow.  He stops in his tracks at the nurses’ station when he spots Jungkook sipping a coffee and watching the news on one of the television sets in the family waiting rooms.  He nudges Yoongi with his elbow and motions to Jungkook.  Yoongi shakes his head and chuckles.

“Did he stay all night?” Jin asks the nurse at the desk.

“He did.  Slept about an hour then would come pacing around the hallway and stand outside Tae’s room.  Then he would go back and sleep for a half hour or an hour if he was lucky and repeat the same thing all over again.  Poor kid.  We finally told him he needed to go home.  I thought he would give us hassle, but he just put his head down and nodded all sad and left.  But there he was again about an hour later.”

Jin groans. “Seriously? Does my nephew know? How is he feeling this morning? Was his radiation rescheduled?”

“He doesn’t know.  He actually slept through the night.  Nausea subsided significantly last night.  He’s on track to receive his first radiation this afternoon.”

Jin can’t believe his ears.  He was fully walking in today preparing for the worst and having Taehyung’s radiation procedure rescheduled.  He freezes and turns to look at Jungkook. “The hoodie.  That hoodie.”

“What?” asks Yoongi frowning. 

“Their hoodie.  That black, awful looking thing they share.  The one Jungkook gave him when they were little.  He brought it for Taehyung yesterday.  I gave it to him.  You should’ve seen him.  He basically melted into it.  Inhaling its scent.  Jungkook’s scent must’ve been all over it.  You know, now that I think back, he was so sick when I first walked in…then the nausea started to subside a bit when I gave him that sweater.  The scent…you don’t think the scent—”

“That was never the case with Ryeo and Han though,” Yoongi states looking over at Jungkook.

“No two soulmate couples are the same though Yoongi.” Jin walks towards the waiting room and stops. “Jungkook!”

Jungkook startles, almost spilling his coffee. “Fuck! What the fuck Jin?”

“Watch your mouth with me.  I’m about to do something that I might just easily turn around and NOT do.  So just draw back your ability to be an asshole for a minute.”

Jungkook looks at Yoongi who shrugs.

“Go get yourself ready to enter Tae’s room.  I’m going to let you see and talk to him.  I’m giving you an opportunity to explain yourself to my nephew and make things right with him.  Now is the chance.  He’s apparently feeling better this morning and he’s getting his first round of radiation this afternoon.  Don’t upset him before that! The goal is to fix this.  And be his support.  You’re his soulmate Jungkook…I think it’s time you two started really acting like it.”

Jungkook throws his coffee in the trash and runs up to Jin taking his hand and shaking it. “Thank you! Thank you! I—I’ll talk to him.  I’ll make this right again.  I swear I will.”

Jin sighs. “I hope so Jungkook.  He really needs you.  Go.  Get ready.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung walks out of the bathroom, hair still wet from the shower.  His body still aches, but the nausea is manageable.  He only threw up once this morning and considering how it was the last time, he’d call that a win.  He looks through the books that were dropped off for him and can’t seem to settle on anything he wants to read.  He hasn’t read for days.  Not since he destroyed his mother’s book.  He bites his bottom lip to stop it from quivering.  He can’t even be sad about it.  Not when it was his fault it’s been torn to pieces.  He picks a graphic novel and decides to sit on the chair by the window. He misses his twinkly lights and his hanging chair.  He picks up his hoodie smelling it.  He misses…

The door to his room opens and he immediately feels faint when he sees him standing in front of the door.  Jungkook quickly shuts it. The smell of apple pie overwhelms his senses. Taehyung can’t see the smile due to the mask he’s wearing, but he knows its there.  Taehyung is caught off guard by his being here.  He wants to simultaneously throw himself in Jungkook's arms and push him out of here, yelling and screaming at him.  He starts to feel the nausea hit again and that angering feeling boil in the pit of his stomach.  And right now, that’s winning out above everything. 

“No! Leave! Get out! Get out or I’ll call security and have you arrested!” Taehyung moves towards the buzzer on his hospital bed that he uses to contact the nursing station.

Jungkook closes his eyes and sighs.  He knew this wouldn’t be easy.  He knew Taehyung would either be super understanding or really standoffish.  He’s not surprised this is the Taehyung he got.  “Good. Great. Let’s do that then.  Have me arrested.  Because it’s the only way anyone is going to get me out of here.  I’m not leaving Princess.”

“Don’t call me that! And didn’t I tell you that I wanted you to get as far away from me as possible?!” Taehyung’s shoulders slump and he bends down putting his hands on his knees.  He’s short of breath and feels weak.  Jungkook surges forward wrapping his arm around his waist, pulling him up. Taehyung pushes his arm away and staggers back to the hospital bed sitting down on the edge trying to catch his breath.  He hates his body.  He can’t even argue without it breaking down and imploding in on itself. 

“Look Tae, I think you know I can’t stay away from you just as much as you can’t stay away from me,” Jungkook replies taking a step back and giving Taehyung space.  He’s here to talk to Taehyung and try to fix things, not make them worse for him or endanger his health. 

“Yeah, because of this fucking curse.  Get out Jungkook! Get—” Jungkook walks to Taehyung and places a gloved hand against Taehyung’s mouth, effectively making him stop. Taehyung swats his hand away angrily. “What the fuck?!” he shouts.

“Tae, I promised myself I would never insult you or hurt you ever again.  I’ve done enough of that for a lifetime, and I’ll never do that again, BUT with all do respect Taehyung…shut the fuck up.” Taehyung’s eyes widen and he grits his teeth. Before he can retaliate Jungkook puts a finger against his mouth again. “I’m serious.  Just shut up.  Please.  Just hear me out and then you can say whatever you want.  I’ll even leave, but I would like the opportunity to at least talk to you.”

Taehyung gives up the fight.  His body is too weak to, and he decides instead to turn and crawl into bed, but not before reaching for his hoodie and holding it close to his chest. 

Jungkook can’t help feeling relieved and happy that he’s holding onto that hoodie the way he is.  It gives Jungkook hope that maybe Taehyung will really hear him out. 

“Taehyung? Will you turn your pretty face and look at me, please?”

Taehyung who had his face buried in his hoodie groans and turns to face Jungkook.

“Thank you.” Jungkook takes the chair closest to the bed and moves it even closer, impossibly close to Taehyung.

“I lied.  I did.  And you have every right to feel betrayed and hurt—“

“Angry.  I’m pissed off Jungkook,” Taehyung replies staring deep into Jungkook’s eyes with blue icy ones making Jungkook gulp.

“And you should be.  Look, I don’t want to give you excuses but I do want to be able to tell you why.  No matter how fucking ridiculous and just fucking plain stupid it was.”

Taehyung can feel the bile in the back of his throat, and he swallows it down.  He needs to get through this procedure later and for that he needs to be somewhat ok.  He hugs the hoodie tighter and then his eyes snap to Jungkook’s as he smells vanilla overtake the room. “When did you learn to do that? Control and release it like that?” he asks as he lets the scent relax him, closing his eyes.

“Joon. I’ve been practicing.  He told me how he does it for Jin.  I couldn’t be sure if it was working or not because no one else could smell it, but I guess it is,” Jungkook replies smiling proudly. Taehyung opens his eyes showing Jungkook they’re back to normal.  His scent did that.  He sits up straight feeling more confident.

“Do you have any idea the kind of energy you radiate? Not to mention how incredibly intimidating your looks are.” Jungkook says making Taehyung scoff.

“Says you.  You’ve seen yourself, right? And I don’t need you to butter me up and feed me lines.  I just want you to be honest with me.”

“And that’s what I’m doing.  Because when I saw you and I smelled that wonderful, sweet smell—“

“Sweet smell? Wait…what’s my scent?” Taehyung asks curiously.

Jungkook smiles inhaling as he does. “Apple pie.  Freshly baked apple pie.”

Taehyung frowns and then let’s out a laugh.  “Apple pie?! You’re kidding?! And you smell like vanilla ice cream! A la fucking mode.  What even is that?!”

“Tell me about it.  Joon’s been making fun of me and won’t let it go,” Jungkook says back laughing. 

Taehyung closes his eyes and exhales.

“Hey, don’t be falling asleep on me Tae.  I need you to hear this.”

“Then stop making it smell like a whole JP Licks in here!”

Jungkook smiles and nods.  “The day you came into the gym I had been fighting Joon all day on this physical therapist thing.  I didn’t want anyone new in the gym.  I—I just didn’t trust anyone to be there.  You know what I’m like—“

“What you WERE like,” Taehyung corrects. Jungkook gives him a head tilt and a slight nod.

“I was ready to fight you, get rid of you, make you leave even before you arrived.  According to me, I didn’t need help.  I could figure out a way to help my shoulder on my own.  On my own Taehyung, the way I always thought I needed to do things.”

Jungkook leans in and smiles at Taehyung. “And then you walked in.  You were wearing all black, white sneakers.  Caramel hair falling all over your pretty eyes.”

Taehyung snorts. “You remember what I was wearing?”

“I do.  I remember thinking how in the fuck was I going to remotely concentrate on exercises with you when you looked like that.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and purses his lips.

“You came up to me with that wide smile, eyes sparkling and held your hand out.  And that’s when I could smell it.  Your scent.  And for a minute I was happy.  And happy wasn’t a thing I ever really was.  Allowed myself to be.  But in that split second it felt like maybe I could be.  That maybe I could have that too.  That person who would finally be able to love me. And then just as fast as the feeling came…it was gone.  You looked at me with no recognition and shook my hand.  Introduced yourself and didn’t say anything else.  And it felt like I’d been knocked out with a right hook.”

“Jesus, I couldn’t smell you! I couldn’t smell anything!”

“I know.  Tae, I know that now. But back then I thought you were rejecting me and in the worst way.  The way everyone my whole life always did since I was a kid.  Just pushing me aside and ignoring me. My parents left me with my grandparents and never bothered to tell me.  They in turn dropped me off at a group home and never explained anything to me.  I was constantly rejected and never told.  And then came the abuse and the beatings.  Taehyung it wasn’t in my nature to be rational or “normal.”

“Why not just say something? Ask me? Why? Instead—“

“Instead, I used it against you.  I know.  I told you.  It really wasn’t in me to have said anything.  Instead, I did what I always did.  I hurt back.  If someone hurt me or did something I felt slighted me, then I was going to hurt back and make them feel it 100 times over.  And again, I don’t want this to sound like an excuse.  Nothing justifies my behavior or the things I said to you.  The fucking things I said to you.  I didn’t mean them.  I really hope you can believe that.  I said them because I knew where they would hit.  I was an expert at doing that.  Verbal knockouts. And I’m sorry that I directed so many of them at you.”

“And when you found out, when you finally found out why I had never said anything about you being my soulmate? Why not tell me then? Why were you still lying?”

Jungkook takes a deep breath. “Because I didn’t want you feeling like you had to be with me because of the bond.  I had been horrible to you.  I needed to fix that.  To apologize and have you really feel it was sincere.  I needed—“ Jungkook takes in another deep breath, “I wanted you to fall for me without the knowledge of the bond.  Just because you wanted me.  Only me.  Not because of some soulmate thing.”

Taehyung slow claps and snorts. “Congrats! Really. Because you did it.  I fell for you alright.  And now look at where we’re at.  Do you even understand what being my soulmate means? The repercussions of that? They’re deadly Jungkook.”

Jungkook nods and reaches for Taehyung’s hand with his gloved one.  He wishes he could feel his skin.  His touch.  He misses holding this hand so much.  “I do know.  I understand it Tae.  I saw it.  With Emma and Gary.”

“No, you didn’t see it.  I saw it.  With my dad.  What you saw wasn’t what I saw.  It’s awful and painful and I would never want that for you.”

“And I appreciate your concern over me, but you can’t make that choice for me.  In fact, I made this choice myself when we were kids so it’s a little too late to make me change my mind.”

Taehyung shakes his head and holds onto Jungkook’s hand.  “No.  Maybe, maybe we could find someone.  Jin seems to think its impossible, but nothing is impossible.  We could find someone who could break this—“

“I’m not breaking this bond, Taehyung.  Not ever.  The only thing that will break it is when you and I cease to exist from this planet and that’s not happening for a long time Princess.”

Taehyung groans. “Stop! Stop saying that! You have no clue about what’s going to happen.  A long time? I’m sitting in a hospital room ready to undergo radiation.  A long time isn’t in my vocabulary Jungkook.”

“Well then it should be.  Because I’m not giving up on you.  And I really wish you didn’t give up on me and most importantly on yourself.”

Taehyung frowns. “You think I WANT to give up on you.  I’ve never wanted something so much in my life! But I can’t have you.  Don’t you see? It’s not fair.  None of this is fair.  Most especially to you.  If I die—“

Jungkook grimaces, “Don’t say that—“

Taehyung grips his hand tighter, “No! You HAVE to hear this. THIS is the reality you have to hear.  I don’t want you romanticizing this.  Because if I die Jungkook so will you.  And it’s going to be painful.  And miserable.  It’s going to be desperate and hopeless.”

“And what if it isn’t?” Jungkook asks making Taehyung groan again. “What if it’s peaceful, and beautiful and full of acceptance…like Gary.”

Acceptance. Taehyung closes his eyes trying not to let himself cry.

“You still don’t get it,” he replies shaking his head. “If I manage to pull through this again…there’s no cure.  The best I could do is manage it to keep it in remission.”

“And I’ve read that a lot of people are able to keep it in remission for the rest of their lives.  And live out those lives healthy Tae.  I’ve been reading a lot lately,” Jungkook says giving Taehyung his best reassuring smile.

“This is my second time.  Even if that were true, I could never give you a normal life.  A normal relationship.  We would spend our time wondering what’s coming around the corner.  Every sneeze, every cough is going to be scrutinized.  The overthinking will never stop.  We’d be looking over our shoulders, waiting.  Is that what you want out of a future?”

“If it means my future is with you then yes.  But Tae everything you just described isn’t how I see it.  It’s how you see it.  Baby, you are so pessimistic.  And this is coming from me who is the biggest asshole pessimist there is.  But I don’t see that to be our future.  I see you healthy and happy.  Both of us together enjoying whatever time we have.  Not looking over our shoulders.  Always living in the moment. Because to me every moment would be perfect if I just had you in it.”

Taehyung shakes his head, tears starting to fall. “I—I can’t have kids Jungkook.  I—could never give you that,” he says looking down and away from Jungkook.

“What?” Jungkook asks frowning.

Taehyung swallows down bile again.  “This is my second time.  The amount of chemo and radiation I’ve had…the doctor told me I have like a 2% chance of ever getting pregnant and having a baby.”

“That save us on condoms then,” jokes Jungkook. Taehyung’s eyes snap to meet his, angry blue eyes. “I’m sorry.  Fuck, that was insensitive.  I was—fuck I was just trying to lighten the mood.  Clearly, I still don’t know how to control my words.”

Taehyung blinks away tears, eyes turning brown again. 

“Did you want to have kids Tae?”

“I don’t know.  I had never really thought about it before.  It was more like you didn’t know you wanted something until you were told you’d never have it.”

“He didn’t say you’d never have it. 2% Tae.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Yeah 2%.  Nonexistent percentage.”

“There are other ways you know.  To have kids.  I never thought about it before.  Never really thought it would ever be a possibility for me.  Never thought I’d reach a point with anyone that I would want them.  But Tae, we could adopt.”

Taehyung shakes his head, “I know.  I know that.  And I’m not saying they wouldn’t be ours, not at all. But I—they wouldn’t be ours.  I—wouldn’t be able to give you something that’s our DNA.”

“There’s surrogacy.  There are fertility treatments.  There’s ways Tae.  We can find a way.”

Taehyung sighs. “We.  There’s that we again.”

“Yes. We.  Me and you.  That’s what we are now.  A WE. Since when did you turn this negative about everything? You’ve always been the one to be so positive and always pushing me to believe in everything.”

“Since my cancer came back Jungkook,” Taehyung replies bitterly.  “It becomes really hard to stay positive when you’re dying.”

Jungkook sighs.  “Then I’ll be that for the two of us.  I’ve never been that.  Someone who incapsulates positivity.  But you need it and for you I’m willing to be anything you need me to be.”

“I need you to open your eyes and stop living in this soulmate daydream you’re in right now.  I need you to to start researching how to break this bond—“

“I told you,” Jungkook says sternly, “I won’t ever do that.  Tae…I made this choice.  Just like I’m making the choice to be with you through everything even if it means I die right along with you.  I….literally wished for you. I chose you…”

Taehyung scrunches his brows. “I don’t understand.”

“That night in the park.  When we were sitting in those swings.  I reached for your hand.  I don’t think I have to tell you Tae, but it’s not something I ever did.  I never reached for anyone and yet I found myself doing it with you.  In the few minutes I spent with you I felt something I’d never felt with anyone. A sense of calm.  An understanding.  And in a weird way love.  Compassion.  But I not only felt it from you I felt it TOWARDS you.  And I never thought I could feel that for anyone.  But in those few minutes I did.  And I wanted to be selfish.  In that moment I wanted to be as selfish as possible, and I told you before.  I’d never had anything that was mine.  And when I reached for you and held your hand, I made a wish.”

Taehyung frowns. “What wish?”

“I wished that I could keep you.  That I would always be able to have that…with you.  That I could be taken care of, but also take care of you.”

Taehyung releases a sob, “WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! DON’T YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID?!” Taehyung sobs. “Y—you cursed yourself.  You bound yourself to me,” he whispers as tears stream down.

Jungkook shakes his head and sits on the edge of the bed. “You think having you, you, as my soulmate is a curse? Tae, to me it’s a miracle.  The universe didn’t pick you, some random anybody.  No.  We, you and I made that choice together years ago.  I know I made the wish, but the fact that this bond formed at that very moment tells me you wanted the same thing…with me.  I chose the boy that gave me a reason to be a boxer. I chose the boy that believes everyone deserves a second chance even an asshole like me. I chose the boy who is slowly but surely turning me into a better man, a better alpha.  It’s not a curse Tae, it’s a choice.  One that I will never regret even if it means I take my last breath right after you do.  As it should be.  Why would anybody want to live in a world without Taehyung in it?”

“Don’t—don’t say that.  I—“

“I know you’re afraid.  So am I.  I know you think it will be just like your parents, but Princess, come on, have a little faith in your alpha huh?” Jungkook moves the hair over Taehyung’s eyes.

“My alpha?” Tae repeats.

“Yeah.  And you’re my omega. And we are super soulmates…because of course our dramatic asses would be.”

Taehyung laughs through his tears. 

“There it is.  There’s that smile I love to chase so much.  I’m not leaving Tae.  I’m staying by your side no matter what happens.  The sooner you accept that the better.”

Taehyung shakes his head, crying.  “I can’t have what happened to my dad happen to you.  Please, I can’t have that be you.”

“Then we have to work really hard for you to get better and stay better.  To stay positive about this whole treatment thing.  And if and I mean a big IF, if it comes to the point where we have to have that discussion again, we will.  And it’ll be fine.  I’ll be ready.  But you need to let me spend my choice the way I wanted.  With you.  I need you to not take that from me.”

Taehyung closes his eyes and thinks.  What is he supposed to do? Why does everything always have to be so difficult?  He can smell vanilla all around him. 

“You know you smell like burnt apple pie when you’re distressed? It’s suffocating Princess.  You need to learn to pull that back a bit, but don’t worry I’ll teach you,” Jungkook says caressing Taehyung’s cheek.  He really hates these gloves. 

They both turn when the door opens and shuts quickly.  Taehyung’s nurse stands with a wheelchair looking at the two of them, concern in her eyes. “Everything ok Tae? Are you feeling sick again?”

Taehyung wipes his eyes and shakes his head.  “No, no! I’m f—fine.”

The nurse raises a brow at Jungkook who gives her a reassuring nod. 

“Ok then. It’s time.”

Taehyung shakily sits up. “For the procedure? Already?” Jungkook can hear the fear in his voice.

“Yes.  I’ll take you up, but I need you to put this mask on while you’re out in the other parts of the hospital.”

Jungkook coughs in his mask.  Even wearing his own mask, he can smell Taehyung’s heavy burnt scent.  The fear in it is palpable. He turns and faces his omega and cups his face. “Hey, look at me.  It’s going to be ok.  I know you’re afraid, but it’s going to be fine.  This is a good thing.  One step further to our future.  Our happy and healthy future.  And I’ll be right here when you get back.”

Taehyung nods, bottom lip shaking. “You promise?”

Jungkook smiles. “I think we’ve established that I’m not going anywhere…ever.  Go ahead Tae.  I’ll be right here.” Taehyung nods and weakly tries to get out of bed.  Jungkook puts an arm around his waist and helps him to the wheelchair.  Taehyung takes a deep breath and puts the mask on.

“Wait…um,” Taehyung looks up at the nurse, “is there anyway he can come with me?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen, and he looks at the nurse.

“He can.  He can’t come into the procedure room, but he can wait outside in the small waiting room.”

Taehyung nods and looks to Jungkook. “Do you maybe—“

“I DO! I mean, yes.  I’ll go!”

Taehyung holds his hand out to Jungkook who bites his lip to keep himself from crying.  He puts his hand in Taehyung’s and holds it tightly.  Taehyung looks up at the nurse and gives her a slight nod, “I’m ready.”

As he is wheeled out Jin and Yoongi rise instantly making their way over.  Yoongi looks at their interlocked hands and smiles.  “Going to your radiation treatment?” he asks nudging Jin. 

Taehyung nods.  “Yes.  Jungkook is coming up with me.  Jin, I know you wanted to be the one to come—“

“It’s fine,” Jin kneels in front of Taehyung.  “Good luck Taehyungie.  We’ll see you when you get back.”

“Ok.  See you in a bit.”

Jin and Yoongi stand back and watch as Taehyung and Jungkook enter the elevator. 

“They’re going to be ok…aren’t they?” Yoongi asks.

“Yeah. They’re going to be fine,” Jin responds smiling.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“They’re letting me go home…already?” Taehyung asks in disbelief.

“How is that possible?  Didn’t you say that it wouldn’t be until next week?” asks Jungkook.

“Don’t question it.  Just accept it,” Dr. Allen replies.  “It’s also the first round.  Take it as it is.  Your blood count spiked back quickly this time. Enjoy your time at home and I’ll see you next month.  Just remember Tae.  You have to listen to your body.  I’m sending you home with medication to counter act the side effects.  Rest when you need to. Enjoy it when you’re feeling good.  Take it day by day, moment by moment.  Stay as positive as possible and if any major complications arise you call me immediately.”

Taehyung nods.  “I guess I’ll see you next month. Jungkook?”

“Yeah Princess?”

“Take me home.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Surprise!”

Taehyung walks through his front door, only to be greeted by Jin, Yoongi, Namjoon, Hobi, and Jimin.  He turns to look at Jungkook who chuckles and gently pushes him in.  Taehyung sighs and gives everyone a weak smile.  He knows what Dr. Allen said.  His blood count was high enough for him to go home without any risk of infection or to his immune system.  It doesn’t change the fact that he still feels like absolute shit.  His nausea is back and his whole body still aches from top to bottom. It feels like he has the flu and although he appreciates the enthusiasm to have him back home, he really just wants to crawl into his own bed and sleep.

“Hi everyone,” he greets as happily as he can. “What’s all this?”

“We’re celebrating a successful first treatment,” responds Jin giving him a warm hug.

“Jin, you don’t need to do this every time I come home from spending a week at the hospital.”

“I don’t have to, but I will.  We are going to celebrate every little triumph and you coming home early and your blood count looking good is cause to celebrate!”

Taehyung can’t help but smile.  He’s happy everyone is here to support him and if it means he has to sit up for a bit and be around everyone he loves and cares for he will.  He wants to preserve these moments into memory.  He slowly shuffles to the couch, Jungkook taking one arm helping support his weight.  He helps Taehyung onto the couch where he sinks in and exhales.  He’s out of breath from a couple of steps from the door to the couch.  Its expected.  He just got through a heavy dose of chemoradiation.  He should start feeling more himself in a couple of days…to do it all over again in about 3 weeks time.  He sighs and closes his eyes. 

“Hey, you hungry? Thirsty? Maybe if you eat something you’ll feel better.”

Taehyung opens his eyes to find Jungkook kneeling in front of him.  He shakes his head and smiles. “No, I’m fine.  I just need to sit here and rest.”

“Ok. Just let me know if you need anything.”

Taehyung sits quietly and watches everyone happily talk, eat and enjoy their time together.  He lays his head down on the arm rest of the couch and closes his eyes.  Yoongi frowns when he sees Taehyung uncomfortably falling asleep on the couch.  He nudges Jungkook who makes his way over and kneels down in front of Taehyung again. He runs his fingers through Taehyung’s hair. “Tae,” he whispers, “come on Princess.  Let’s get you to bed huh.”

Taehyung opens his eyes and looks around.  “I’m sorry everyone.  I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate this little celebration, but I’m just so tired. And I’m not feeling all that great.  Rain check maybe?”

“You don’t have to apologize Tae.  Its not like you have cancer or something,” jokes Namjoon getting a smack in the head from Jin and a death glare from Jungkook.  Taehyung giggles.

“At least someone still has a sense of humor,“ Taehyung says giggling at Namjoon.

“Asshole,” Jungkook says still glaring at Namjoon as he helps lift Taehyung from the couch.

“Jungkookie, be nice,” Taehyung replies leaning into Jungkook as he’s guided into his room.

“Wait here one sec Tae,” Jungkook leans Taehyung against the door frame to his room rushing to his bed to move the blankets and get it ready for Taehyung to lie in.  He gently guides Taehyung to the bed lying him down.  Taehyung sits up and looks around the room.  Eyes focusing in on the empty space in the middle of the shelf where his mother’s book always found its home. Now empty.  His heart hurts at seeing the void. 

“Tae?”

“Its so weird.  The last time I was here I was self-destructing.  My disease taking hold of me and breaking me down.  I destroyed the one possession I held most precious to me.  It feels strange to be back here again now.  Without my book.”

Jungkook lets out a sigh and sits on the bed with Taehyung. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that alone.  I wish I could’ve been there to help you through it like you’ve helped me lately.”

Taehyung shrugs.  “It’s fine. You didn’t know.  And I didn’t tell anyone.  That’s on me. Jungkook, will you turn my twinkle lights on please.”

Jungkook nods and turns them on returning back to sit with Taehyung. “Tae, there's something I need to go out and do.  Will you be ok if I leave for a bit?”

“Of course I will.  I’m not a baby.  You don’t need to babysit me at all times Jungkook.”

“That is not what I’m doing.  I’m with you because I want to be and because I thought you wanted me here too.”

Taehyung smiles mischievously, “Well, you’re wrong.  I hate being around you. You’re a bore and frankly I can’t stand your scent, so you’re free to leave you stinky alpha.”

Jungkook smiles and raises his brows. “Really? Well then, I guess I can be honest too and tell you how much I hate being around you and absolutely hate your scent too.  So there.”

Taehyung laughs and pushes Jungkook playfully.  “No, but seriously Jungkook.  You don’t have to feel like you need to stay and watch me.  I have Jin and Yoongi.  I’ll be ok.  Besides I’ll start feeling a little better in a few days. I mean, until I have to go back again.  You should really get back to the gym.  I can’t promise that I’ll make it back, but I can try.”

Jungkook clears his throat. “Actually I—I’m not going back to the gym.  I’m taking a break from fighting.”

“What? Why? You just won the biggest fight of your career.  I’m assuming everyone is knocking down the doors to get at you.  Be your next opponent. Who are you fighting next?”

Jungkook bites his lip. “I’m not.  I told you; I’m taking a break.”

“Why?” asks Taehyung and then it dawns on him.  The reason Jungkook is avoiding eye contact right now.  The reason is him. “Please tell me you aren’t putting aside boxing.  Your dream, for me.  Please tell me that I’m being crazy and delusional. That you wouldn’t consider it, let alone actually do it.”

“Taehyung, I’m not going to argue with you about this.  Especially because you aren’t feeling well and need to rest.  And because we just had a whole conversation about how you were going to respect my choices.  So don’t start Tae.”

Taehyung gasps as his mouth drops. “Me?! Me don’t start?! Are you serious right now?! You’re telling me that you’re putting boxing aside to what? I told you already Jungkook, I don’t need a fucking babysitter!”

“And I told you that’s not what I’m doing.  You can be so damn frustrating Tae! I’m making this choice because I want to.  I want to be with you.  I want to be able to enjoy time with you.  I wasted so much time being a complete asshole to you.  Let me finally act like a real soulmate.  A real alpha to you.  And I told you.  I made a wish years ago and it wasn’t to be some prize fighter.  It was to have you.  And now I have you so let me fucking have you! Stop being so stubborn! Stop trying to take away my choices! I’ve been fighting my whole fucking life Tae.  My whole life I’ve been fighting someone in someway.  Let me take a break from fighting and try something different.  Let me love instead of fight for a change!” Jungkook’s chest is heaving up and down.  He’s worked up, but he can’t help it.  Of course he would choose an omega as stubborn and as frustrating as himself.

Taehyung stares and raises an eyebrow.  “That was the cheesiest shit I’ve ever heard,” he says letting out a loud laugh.

Jungkook purses his lips. “Great. Now you’re laughing at me.”

“I’m sorry, but I just didn’t think you had that in you.”

“Really? Well, there's plenty more where that came from.  Just watch and see. Unless you like me being an asshole, is that it? Hmm Princess? What do you have some degradation kink or something?”

Taehyung smirks.  “I have a lot of kinks, but no. Sorry to disappoint you alpha, degradation isn’t one of them.”

Jungkook gives him a sly smile back.  “But you do admit you have kinks…lots of them…”

“Ahem,” Yoongi says clearing his throat, coughing, trying to make his presence known. 

“Yoongs? Come in.  You know you don’t have to knock to come in here,” Taehyung says lifting himself up better in bed.

“No I apparently do or I walk into the word ‘kinks’ being thrown around by the two of you.  And that is an image and thought I will be having you both pay my therapy over.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes.

“Yoongi, I have to go out for a bit.  But I’ll be back later.  Take care of this stubborn, but very adorably cute brat for me will you,” Jungkook leans in and tilts Taehyung’s head up to meet his lips.  He places a soft, gentle kiss on Taehyung then kisses his forehead as well. Taehyung blushes and glances at Yoongi turning even redder.

"You have to get used to this Princess.  You can’t go all shy like this every time I kiss you in front of someone.  I’ll be back later,” Jungkook turns to Yoongi, “I know it’s probably asking a lot, but I hope its ok if I stay here tonight with Tae.  And probably a couple of nights a week.  I know you and Jin will want to be here as well, but I really hope you both can understand I need to be here too.”

Yoongi nods.  “I know.  I get it.  And even though I really couldn’t fucking stand you,” Taehyung tugs at Yoongi, glaring at him. Yoongi smiles and holds his hand up, “I said I couldn’t stand you.  I don’t mind you much anymore Jungkook.  As long as you continue to be like this with Taehyung then you and I are fine.  But I will kill you the second you hurt him again.”

Jungkook smiles.  “I know.  And it’ll be well deserved but believe me when I tell you I have no intention of hurting Tae again,” Jungkook locks eyes with Taehyung, “I love you too much to ever do that to you again.” Taehyung blushes again and covers his face. He goes to open his mouth, but Jungkook stops him. “Don’t! I told you…not until you’re healthy.  Remember?” Taehyung nods. “Good.  I’ll see you in a bit.  Try to get some rest.” Jungkook smiles lovingly one last time before exiting Taehyung’s room.

“Fuck me.  He’s gone.  Like in la la land.  Whipped for all eternity,” Yoongi teases slipping into bed next to Taehyung. 

“Shut up, Yoongi.  Don’t tease me. I’m sick!” Taehyung pouts.

“I’m not teasing.  I’m just stating facts.  I’m happy for you.  For both of you.  But what does this all mean Tae? I take it you forgave him for everything then?”

“I read this quote recently in a book. It said something to the effect that people do stupid things, say stupid things, but it doesn’t need to be their intrinsic nature.  That when people apologized and tried to better themselves and grow from the horrible things they’ve said or done they were showing their true nature, seeking to atone.  Seeking absolution.  I forgave him for all that stuff Yoongi.  I even forgive him for keeping the soulmate thing from me.  I understand why now.  It doesn’t make it any better, but I understand it.”

Yoongi puts his arm around Taehyung pulling him close.  Taehyung rests on his chest and yawns. “So what now? Are you fine with this bond? Do you accept it?”

Taehyung sighs.  “There’s not much I can do.  It is what it is.  There isn’t a way to save him other than fight as hard as I can to stay alive for as long as I can.  I need to win against this thing Yoongs.  I can’t have what happened to dad happen to Jungkook.  I love him way too much to just let that happen to him.  I don’t know what will happen with my cancer, but I know I won’t go down without a proper fight.  Fuck Cancer Yoongs! And fuck it from trying to take Jungkook as well.”

Yoongi kisses the top of Taehyung’s head and smiles. “Fuck Cancer!”

Taehyung smiles as his eyes become heavier and heavier.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook looks down at his phone and follows the arrow stopping once and while to make sure he’s going in the right direction.  He walks up to the unmarked building and frowns.  He’s positive this is it.  He’s back in Somerville where the old industrial buildings used to be.  Now all shut down and converted into condos.  He doesn’t even recognize this place anymore.  He looks around and makes sure the location is correct.  He shrugs and walks up to the building pushing open the door.

He walks in and sees a directory of several businesses.  He searches the one he’s here for and smiles when he sees it.  He stares at the dodgy elevator and decides against it.  The last thing he needs is to get stuck. He already spent more time than he expected at the public library when all he really wants to do is get back to his omega.  He takes the stairs running up them two at a time.  He reaches a door and reads the name: Three Ring Binders. Jungkook sighs in relief. This is the place. He opens the door as a small bell chime announces his arrival.  An elderly man peeks in from an office and offers Jungkook a small smile. 

“Hello.  Can I help you?”

Jungkook nods. “I hope so. I was looking for professionals who could help me repair a book.  I looked you up online and saw your work.  It looks impressive.  Plus, my soulmate is from Somerville, so I figured maybe it’s a sign. I’m hoping you could work a miracle for me.”

The elderly man nods and smiles. “I can try.  I’ve never met a book that’s been able to beat me.  I love a good challenge.  What seems to be the problem?”

Jungkook opens his backpack and takes out Taehyung’s book. Or specifically what’s left of it.  He places all the torn pages including the cover on the counter in front of the older man.  He sees the frown slowly appear on the elderly man’s face.

“Now this saddens me.  When I see this happen to a book.  What happened?”

“It’s a long story,” Jungkook replies sighing.  “I put them in order of how they’re supposed to go. Do you think you could fix it? It means a lot to someone I love very much.  My soulmate.  My omega.  This book belonged to his mother and it’s his biggest connection to her.  I know it’s hurting him very much to not have it be whole.  I would pay whatever you need me to if it meant you could fix it.”

The older man takes the pages and studies them.  Gaze intense over every single page.  He gives Jungkook a nod and a grunt.  “I told you.  I’ve never met a book that beat me.  Leave it with me.  Give me some time.  Fill out this form.  I’ll call you.”

Jungkook frowns. “That’s it?”

“That’s it,” the man responds taking the pages carefully placing them in a box to keep them all gathered and in one place.  “I promise you.  I will take good care of it.”

Jungkook doesn’t know why, but he trusts that the man will.  He nods and fills out the form.  He walks out of the office feeling lighter.  Hopeful.  Things feel like they’re falling into place.  He just needs Taehyung to get through these treatments.  For it to all workout as he hopes it will.  He’s finally allowing himself to be happy for once in his life.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook knocks on Taehyung’s door and waits.  He’s greeted by Yoongi who looks a little nervous.  He hesitates to let Jungkook in so he takes it upon himself to just step into the house.  “What’s going on Yoongi? You said earlier you didn’t mind me coming around anymore.”

Yoongi scratches his neck clearly uncomfortable.  “It’s not that—”

“Is it Jin? Because he said he didn’t mind either—”

“No, its not Jin.  He’s not even here.  He went out with Joon.  It’s just that…”

Jungkook starts to feel panic in the pit of his stomach. “Did something happen to Tae?”

Yoongi quickly shakes his head, “No, of course not! Tae is fine.  Its just that…”

“Just that what?” Jungkook asks frowning, patience slowly leaving his body.

“Ok I need you to promise me you won’t get angry.  You know, turn into that old asshole Jungkook.”

“I’m still that asshole Jungkook, just not with him.  What the fuck is it, Yoongi?”

Yoongi sighs.  He really is not in the mood to break up any fights.  “Tae has a visitor.”

“A visitor? Who?”

Yoongi stares at Jungkook but stays quiet.  Jungkook suddenly realizes who it is and grits his teeth. “You have got to be kidding me. That asshole bartender is here, isn’t he? I swear to fuck Yoongi that bartender better not be in Taehyung’s bedroom with him.”

Yoongi sighs. “You promised you wouldn’t get angry.”

“No. No, I fucking didn’t.  Fuck that! Tom can take his dumb ass out of my omega’s room, or I’ll drag it out—”

Yoongi puts a hand on Jungkook’s chest holding him back. “Listen to me Jungkook.  Let’s not forget I am allowing you to be here, in my house.  Behave.  Understood?! Taehyung is sick and the last thing he needs is your jealous bullshit.  Pull it back.  Go in there, put on your best fake fucking smile and behave for your soulmate.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw and takes a deep breath.  “Fine,” he replies moving towards the hallway to Taehyung’s room.  He doesn’t wait or even knock.  He opens the door to find Tom standing by Taehyung’s bed, the both of them laughing.  Taehyung looks up and Jungkook sees his eyes brighten.

“Jungkookie! You’re back!” he says happily.  Taehyung moves slightly to the side and pats the empty space on the bed.  Jungkook smirks as he looks at Tom who instantly frowns.

“Tom. Nice to see you again,” Jungkook says moving to sit next to Taehyung on the bed. “I wasn’t expecting you today.”

“Tom came to visit me and see how I was feeling.  Look! He brought me flowers,” Taehyung points and motions to the flowers now adorning Taehyung’s dresser.

“Wow, yeah, I see that.  A dozen red roses.  How thoughtful. But Baby, aren’t sunflowers your favorite?” Jungkook replies through gritted teeth.  The audacity of this guy to bring HIS omega red roses. “It’s so nice of you to visit, but my soulmate should probably rest,” Jungkook says emphasizing the soulmate part.  He internally cheers when he sees the look of utter disappointment when Tom hears the word.

“Soulmate?” Tom asks confused looking at Taehyung.

Taehyung nods shyly.  “Yes.  Jungkookie is my soulmate.”

“And his alpha.  He’s my omega.  Isn’t it great,” Jungkook turns and delivers a quick peck on Taehyung’s lips making him turn a bright pink.

“Jungkook!” Taehyung says giggling. Jungkook turns back to Tom, smirking.

Tom shifts his feet uncomfortably and looks at Taehyung.  “I’m happy for you Tae.  Congratulations for you both.  You’re a lucky guy Jungkook.  Really lucky.  Tae is a great guy.  The sweetest.”

Jungkook watches the air almost deflate from Tom.  He looks sad and dejected.  Jungkook is starting to think maybe this crush was something deeper for Tom. Jungkook almost feels sorry for the guy.  Almost.   

“Well, Tae, I should get going.  I just wanted to make sure you were feeling better.  I hope I see you at the bar soon.  But just water,” he teases. Taehyung laughs and nods.

“Thanks for checking on me Tom and for the beautiful flowers.”

“No problem Tae.  Take care.  See ya Jungkook.”

Jungkook nods and stays quiet. He watches Tom turn and drag his feet to the door leaving.

“Jungkook…” Tae begins.

“What?” Jungkook asks innocently.

“You know what alpha.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replies smiling as he pulls Taehyung into a hug. “I missed you.”

Taehyung hugs him back tightly as he rolls his eyes.  “You weren’t even gone that long.  Where did you go anyway? I know it wasn’t to the gym—”

“Taehyung don’t start,” Jungkook says poking Taehyung in his side. He gets off the bed and goes to retrieve his bag, pulling out a book and handing it to Taehyung. Taehyung looks down and gasps.

“I know it’s not your mom’s book, but I got it out of the library.  I’ll just keep renewing it so you have it to read whenever you want.  I know you’ve probably been missing it,” Jungkook says as he slides back into bed with Taehyung.  Taehyung stares down at the book and holds it up to his nose smelling it.

“I love that smell.  That distinct smell books from the library hold.  It reminds me of her.  So much.” Taehyung’s eyes water as he stares at the book remembering his own.  “Thank you Jungkookie.  This means a lot that you would go and get this for me. I really was missing it.” Taehyung holds it close to his chest, hugging it.

“Will you read to me Jungkookie?”

Jungkook takes the book from Taehyung’s hands.  “Get comfortable Baby. And I’ll read to you as much as you want.

Taehyung blushes. ‘Baby.’ Taehyung settles close to Jungkook cuddling into him taking in his scent.  He closes his eyes as Jungkook begins.

📖Once, in a kingdom called Delain, there was a King with two sons. Delain was a very old kingdom and it had had hundreds of Kings, perhaps even thousands; when time goes on long enough, not even historians can remember everything…

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Tae…Tae…”

“Hmm?” Taehyung groggily opens his eyes to see large doe eyes sparkling and staring back him.

“Baby, wake up,” Jungkook whispers nudging him gently. Taehyung whines and turns away from him, burying his face in his pillow.

“Taehyung Kim, wake up this very instant,” Jungkook sternly, but playfully says.

“I’m sick.  You do know that right,” mumbles Taehyung. “That I need rest.”

“I know that…but…I want to take you somewhere.  And it needs to be now.  Come on Tae.  It’ll be quick and I promise you I’ll bring you right back and let you sleep for as long as you need.”

Taehyung groans and turns to look at him.  Jungkook has the biggest smile on his face.  Eyes wide and waiting.  How is Taehyung supposed to say no to that face? “Fine.  I’ll go. Let me go freshen up really quick.” Taehyung slowly makes his way out of bed, legs wobbly, trying to get his bearings.  Jungkook holds him and helps him out of bed and into the bathroom.

“Tae? Where do you keep your winter clothes?” Jungkook asks walking back into Taehyung’s bedroom.

“Closet!” Taehyung mumbles, mouth full of toothpaste. Taehyung walks back out to see Jungkook wearing their hoodie and a bunch of his winter gear on his bed.  Taehyung instantly pouts. “I wanted to wear that.”

Jungkook sighs. “Don’t pout at me like that Princess.  We agreed we would share our hoodie.  Besides I need you to be warmer. Full winter gear.  Come here.” Jungkook pulls Taehyung close to him and places a coat and a scarf on him wrapping it tightly around his neck.  He takes a beanie putting it over Taehyung's curls, pulling it down, kissing Taehyung on the tip of his nose when he’s finished.  He hands Taehyung a pair of gloves and guides him to the front door “Wait for it,” he says to a confused Taehyung.  Jungkook opens the front door and steps aside for Taehyung to see.

It’s snowing.  Boston’s first snowfall.  Taehyung gasps and smiles.  He clasps his hands together and steps outside.  “Its snowing! Jungkookie! It’s the first snowfall in Boston! Its beautiful! Is this what you wanted to show me?”

Jungkook steps outside closing the door behind him and stepping next to Taehyung.  “Yes.  I want us to start sharing these types of things with each other.  Snow or the first snowfalls of the city never mattered much to me.  I never even thought about them…until you.  Until I thought about things we could share with each other and look forward to.  I know how much you love the snow and the winter.  I wanted you to see the first snow.  But…I also wanted to take you someplace.  But I know you may not be feeling up for it. So just say the word and we can go back to bed—”

“No! I want to! Go with you.  Wherever you want to take me I’ll go.  I’ll go anywhere with you.”

Jungkook smiles and puts out his hand.  “Well then Princess your chariot awaits,” Jungkook says motioning to his car. Taehyung giggles letting Jungkook guide him through the glittering white snow crunching underneath them with every step.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung opens his eyes when he feels a gentle hand on his cheek.  He sees Jungkook leaning over him with the car door open.  “You fell asleep Tae.  You sure you’re feeling up for this?” Taehyung nods and yawns. 

“I’m sure. Where are we?”

Jungkook smirks and leans into Taehyung kissing him.  Taehyung can feel him smiling into the kiss as he pulls away.  “Back to the beginning, Baby,” he says as he moves so that Taehyung can exit the car.  That’s when Taehyung finally gets a good look as to where they are.  They’re parked in front of a park.  Glen Park to be exact.  Back to the beginning.

“You brought me to Glen? Why?”

“To enjoy the first snowfall.  Here, where it all began for us.  Come on.  I have two swings that are calling our names.” Jungkook holds his hand out for Taehyung to take.  They walk hand in hand through the deserted park as large snowflakes fall. They arrive at the swings where Jungkook turns and lifts Taehyung up by the waist making him squeal, placing him on the swing.  The same swing Jungkook found Taehyung sitting in that night years ago.  Jungkook turns and sits in the swing next to Taehyung’s and holds out his hand for him.  Taehyung looks at it and laughs.

“What are you going to wish for this time?”

“I already have you so…” Jungkook closes his eyes as Taehyung stares at his face, amused. Jungkook opens his eyes and smiles back at Taehyung.

“So?” Taehyung asks, curious. “What did you wish for?”

“Two things…the first, your health.  I wished you would be healthy.  Always healthy.” Taehyung bites his lip and looks away.  He takes a deep breath not wanting to cry.  This is a happy moment, not a moment he wants to remember as the time he cried yet again in this park.

“And the second,” Taehyung asks looking at Jungkook again.

“That…you’ll officially be my boyfriend.  You’re already my soulmate.  And I’d like to think you’re my omega, but I’d like it to be official.  So, Taehyung, will you officially be my boyfriend? My omega?”

Taehyung smiles as he gets up flinging himself into Jungkook’s arms kissing him deeply.  “So…is that a yes or…”

“Of course, it’s a yes Jungkookie!”

Jungkook smiles and pulls Taehyung in for a kiss. “I love you Tae.  I need you to know that.”

“I do.  I know you do.  And I—”

“What did I say—not yet Tae.  When you’re healthy.  Only then.”  Jungkook turns Taehyung around and pulls him to sit on his lap, carefully, gently swinging them both on the swing as the first snowfall in Somerville falls upon them. 

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

It’s been two weeks since that night in the park and things are going perfectly. Too perfectly if you ask Taehyung.  He really is waiting for the inevitable shoe to drop, but as of right now, it just hasn’t.  He’s been feeling good.  Much better than he’s felt in the last couple of weeks.  Again, waiting for that shoe to drop.  He’s even been to the gym with Jungkook a couple of times to watch him workout.  Not train.  Just workout, which at least is something.  He has another week before he has to check into the hospital again for his second round of chemo radiation.  That fear and panic is slowly starting to overtake his chest and stomach, but he’s trying his best to stay positive.

“Baby?…Tae?…”

Taehyung blinks and turns to see Jungkook staring at him.  “Are you ok?”

“Yeah. Fine.”

“Really? Because you asked me to read to you and you aren’t even listening to me.  What’s going on?”

“Nothing.  I’m just nervous about going back to the hospital that’s all. It’s no big deal.” Taehyung snuggles in closer to Jungkook, taking in his scent.

“It’s a big deal if it’s making you nervous.  It’s ok to be anxious and even scared.  But I’ll be right there with you Tae.  The whole time.”

Taehyung and Jungkook recently met with Dr. Allen together.  If they were going to go full steam ahead with this relationship and as soulmates Taehyung wanted Jungkook to be a part of all aspects of his treatment.  Especially since their bond and anything that happens to Taehyung would affect Jungkook so directly as well.  Taehyung changed his medical health care proxy to include Jungkook after discussing it with both Jin and Yoongi who agreed. 

New forms were signed that would give Jungkook more rights as Taehyung’s soulmate as well as allow him privileges others would not receive such as staying overnight in the immunocompromised room as long as Jungkook wore a mask.  It would be uncomfortable to wear a mask at all times to be with Taehyung, but if it meant he could stay with him and offer care and comfort, it was a very small price and a very minuscule discomfort.

Taehyung takes a deep breath and exhales. 

“Are you tired Tae? Want to go to bed?”

Taehyung groans.  “It’s only after 8.  No, I do not want to go to bed.”

“Ok,” Jungkook takes the book he was reading and throws it on his coffee table.  He picks up the remote to his tv to turn it on. “Want to watch a movie—“ but before Jungkook could finish his sentence Taehyung reaches up and takes hold of Jungkook’s shirt collar, pulling him down into a bruising kiss.  Jungkook kisses back, hard and frenzied allowing Taehyung to take control and pull him and lead the kiss as he saw fit. 

They continued kissing for an indeterminable amount of time. Without warning, Taehyung gently pushed Jungkook back before clambering onto his lap. “That's better,” he whispered. He pressed himself against his alpha’s chest and resumed kissing.

Jungkook was not about to protest, but his anxiety levels rose considerably at this point because he was already half-hard just from kissing, and Taehyung was so warm, so fucking beautiful, and he was definitely rubbing against his crotch.  And it seems Taehyung knew exactly what he was doing because of the way he kept grinding against Jungkook with no intention of stopping.   

Jungkook’s hands instinctively moved to Taehyung’s ass, a feature he was always admiring. Round and shapely and calling to him since he saw him for the first time in that gym. He squeezed, making Taehyung let out a small drawn-out moan.

Taehyung was impressed and rather empowered by the effect his body seemed to have on his boyfriend. He let his hand fall on the very noticeable erection poking him through Jungkook’s clothes.  He very slowly and methodically unzipped Jungkook’s pants and started to rub Jungkook through his boxers.  Jungkook moaned as he craned his neck back. 

Taehyung looked up at him from under his long, dark eyelashes. He was pressed close against him with his hand shoved down working Jungkook’s erection through his boxers. Jungkook swallowed hard, trying his best to form coherent thoughts out loud. “I—I think maybe...Uh, oh god, You s-should probably--”

“Hmmm?” Taehyung purred, giving Jungkook’s erection an extra squeeze. Jungkook jolted forward with a muffled grunt. Taehyung leaned in and whispered in his ear, “I want you to take me to your bedroom and fuck me Jungkook…now.”

Jungkook looked down into Taehyung’s eyes and grabbed his wrist, “Tae…hang on.  Stop,” he said as he gently pulled Taehyung’s hand away. Taehyung looked taken aback.  An offended almost hurt look on his face.

“I—I thought…you weren’t enjoying that?” Taehyung asks confused.

“What? No Tae, of course I was. I—just—I don’t think we should have sex.”

Jungkook immediately sees the light dim in Taehyung’s eyes.  “Oh,” he replies, embarrassed.  He quickly removes himself from Jungkook’s lap and sits next to him on the couch moving slightly making sure to leave space between them.

Jungkook feels awful.  He reaches for Taehyung who flinches and moves his hand quickly.  “It’s fine.  Um, I think I’m going to go home.  Sleep in my own bed tonight.” Taehyung moves to get up, but Jungkook stops him.

“Wait.  Look, let me explain.  Please.”

“Explain what Jungkook? How it’s been two weeks since we became official and I’ve tried everything to get you to have sex with me, but you’ve turned me down every single fucking time.  I have my pride too.  I get it.  You don’t want to.  It’s fine.  But can you at least let me know what it is? Is it me? Is it that you don’t find me attractive or sexy or—“

“Stop! Fucking stop Tae.  It’s absolutely none of those things. You’re fucking beautiful and beyond sexy Baby.  It’s not you.”

Taehyung scoffs. “Right.  So what is it then?”

“I—I don’t want to hurt you,” Jungkook whispers.

“What? Hurt me? How would us having sex hurt me?”

“You get winded easily.  You get tired easily too.  You’re feeling much better lately, but—I can still see that you aren’t at full capacity.”

Taehyung throws his hands up in frustration.  “I have cancer Jungkook! What did you expect?!”

“I know, I know.  Baby, that’s not what I’m saying.  I’m not blaming you.  But like you said.  You have cancer.  You’re sick.  And I just don’t want to make things worse.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Cancer patients still have sex Jungkook.  I’m sick, not dead! Not yet anyway! You know what forget it!” Taehyung angrily gets up grabbing his phone and bag.

“Taehyung, sit down.  It’s late.  Let’s talk about this.”

“What is there to talk about?  My alpha and soulmate doesn’t find his cancer patient boyfriend sexy enough, good enough, WHATEVER ENOUGH TO FUCK! Nah, I’m over talking about it.   Right now, I’m going to go home and fuck myself with my vibrator till I pass out since my alpha refuses to do it! And don’t follow me! You and your useless dick can stay right there!” Taehyung walks out of the door slamming it harshly leaving Jungkook sitting in a daze, the smell of burnt pie everywhere.

“Wait…WHAT THE FUCK?!”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Namjoon tries to stifle his laugh, but he can’t help it.  Jungkook sends him daggers, bullet filled glares as Namjoon clears his throat and tries to stay serious.

“So let me get this straight. You turned him down again.  And he told you not to follow him and to keep your useless dick seated?” Namjoon asks as he lets out another belly laugh. 

“I fucking hate you! Why do I come to you for anything?!”

“Because you literally have no friends asshole.  And I’m your brother so who else are you going to come to.”

Jungkook puts his face in his hands and groans.  “Give me advice! What do I do?”

“Have sex. What’s the big debate? Just have sex with your boyfriend. He clearly wants to.  Unless you don’t.  If he doesn’t turn you on—“

“Shut the fuck up Namjoon! Not you too! Tae said the same thing.  Of course he turns me on! Have you seen him?!  That fucking ass of his.  Are you kidding me?! I would fuck that ass raw seven days a week.”

Namjoon cringes.  “Ok, I definitely didn’t need to know that. But if that’s how you feel then why aren’t you doing that? Instead, you’re turning him down making him upset.  What’s the deal Jungkook?”

“The deal is he’s sick.  And I’m afraid of hurting him.  Of something happening to him while we have sex.  After we have sex.  I don’t know, I’ve never been with someone like this.  I’m scared.”

“Someone like what? Someone with cancer?”

Jungkook sighs. “Someone I love.  I love him and I don’t want to do anything that might hurt him again.”

Namjoon smiles. “Jungkook—that’s actually really sweet.  Why didn’t you tell him that?”

“I tried! He wouldn’t listen.  He was so angry.  And then people say I’m the one with the anger issues,” Jungkook says.

“He’s frustrated Jungkook.  Imagine what this must be like for him too.  He’s probably feeling really insecure about himself.  He already felt he wasn’t good enough for you, telling you he could never give you that normal relationship and here you are reinforcing that belief.  Normal relationships include intimacy and by not having sex with him he probably thinks everything he thought would happen is coming to fruition.  I know you’re scared Jungkook but it’s double for him.  And he’s going back into the hospital in a week.  He’s probably feeling stressed out about that.  I would tell you and your useless dick to fuck off if I was him too.”

“Thanks a lot, Joon,” Jungkook replies rolling his eyes.  But Jungkook knows everything Namjoon just said is true.  He’s afraid, but the fear and insecurities Taehyung must be feeling are probably unimaginable.  And Jungkook isn’t helping.  Of course he wants to be intimate with his boyfriend. But he doesn’t want to hurt him.  He just needs to be sure.

“Dr. Allen.” Namjoon says looking at Jungkook.

“What about him?”

“You should talk to Dr. Allen about sex and cancer.  He’s his physician.  He’s an oncologist.  Who better?”

“No way! I couldn’t!”

“Fine.  Then be sexless and leave your frustrated omega sexless too. You’re right.  Much better to ignore the problem and have him stay mad at you then talk to a doctor who could give you actual advice. But fuck me, right? I don’t know anything.”

Namjoon shrugs and gets up to leave. “If you two are broken up go back to the gym and start training!”

“Fuck you, Namjoon!”

Namjoon smiles. “Call the oncologist Jungkook. Stop being passive!”

Jungkook walks to his fridge and takes the card he had hung up.  He looks down at it and sighs.  He takes his phone and dials the number.

“Hi, Dr. Allen?  This is Jungkook Jeon, Taehyung’s soulmate and boyfriend. I’m sorry to leave this message this late at night, but I’m hoping you could give me some time to talk to you tomorrow.  Whatever time you have.  I’d like to discuss something with you that’s really important.  You can call me back at this number.  Thank you.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“So, Jungkook, what can I help you with? Is Taehyung having some complications—“

“No Sir, not at all.  He’s been feeling slightly better. Not 100%, but definitely better.”

“Good.  That’s great! Because the real difficulty is about to arrive.”

“What do you mean?” Jungkook asks frowning.

“That was only his first round of treatment.  It is bound to get more difficult for him.  He will undoubtedly feel sicker. His body will feel the effects of all those heavy chemicals and radiation.   But it’s a normal reaction.  He’s going to need all the support and care from those around him.”

“He might get sicker?”

“Yes, of course.  He got lucky with his blood count last time, but we can’t always promise it will be similar.”

“Oh,” Jungkook replies.  Jungkook hadn’t expected to be told it might only get worse.  He knew the doctor seemed to treat it as an anomaly the last time, but he just assumed it was working.  He hadn’t really thought about the fact that it was only the first round of treatment and that Taehyung’s plan included many more months of this which saw the increased intensity of the amount of chemo and radiation Taehyung would receive.

“It was the reason I told him to seize the day.  Carpe diem, Mr. Jeon.  Every moment that feels normal is a win.  That should never be taken for granted.”

And here was Jungkook telling him how sick he was when for Taehyung what he was feeling or not feeling at moment was actually normal.  This isn’t or won’t be the sickest Taehyung might get.  No wonder Taehyung was pushing so hard to feel a little bit of normalcy especially within their relationship. He’s expecting things to get worse and for that window to close.

Jungkook gulps and takes a deep breath. “I wanted to meet with you today because I wanted to ask you about…” Jungkook hesitates turning an embarrassed shade of red, “sex,” he blurts out.  “I wanted to ask about sex and intimacy.  And if it’s something we can do or—“

“Sex is something that can still occur for patients who are undergoing treatment for cancer, yes.  In fact, it’s quite normal.  Intimacy and that type of physical connection are important for any relationship.”

“Right.  Yes. But…”

Dr. Allen sighs. “Jungkook, cancer symptoms and treatment side effects can sometimes make it very difficult to keep up your normal daily routine. It can be hard to find energy or desire to be intimate with you if practical issues are worrying Taehyung. It might all just feel too overwhelming to try to relax and enjoy sexual activity. But it is very important to try and talk to him about your concerns and find ways to sort through any problems.”

Jungkook shakes his head and rubs his hands on his pants.  He’s sweating.  “No, he—he actually wants to.  It’s me who is scared.  I’m afraid I’ll hurt him somehow or that his symptoms might get worse because of it.”

“Jungkook, as I explained before.  Sex and intimacy can become a normal part of a cancer patient’s life as long as he or she is feeling up for it.   If Taehyung is expressing to you that he is ready for that kind of intimacy with you, and you feel the opposite it’s imperative you discuss the reasons why you are apprehensive with him.  Taehyung won’t understand why.  He’ll internalize this.  Cancer and its treatment can change the way you feel about yourself. This might be because of physical changes to the body, or it might be about less obvious changes.”

“The intense emotions that cancer can cause might also lower self-esteem. He might feel that he’s lost some of his independence and can't do things he used to enjoy. He might feel so tired and worried that activities he used to find easy now seem too difficult to do. His future plans might have to be put on hold. He might begin to feel like he has no control over his life. All these things can make him feel less confident about who he is and what he does. Having confidence and a healthy self esteem are very important to us all. They play a big part in our sexuality and sex life.”

“Self esteem also means self satisfaction, self respect and self worth. Many factors can affect these feelings, including illnesses such as cancer that threaten physical health. Having low self-esteem can affect quality of life. It can cause long term problems such as depression and anxiety. He’s less likely to feel intimate and sexual if he feels depressed or anxious. It can be very difficult to boost that when he’s feeling so low.”

Did Jungkook make him feel like this? Lower his self esteem? Taehyung had internalized this.  Believed the reason had to be about him and what he couldn’t offer Jungkook in some way.  Jungkook was trying so hard to protect Taehyung he really wasn’t hearing or validating what he was saying.

“I understand your concern, but for Taehyung to be so open about wanting this with you is a big step for him.  And there really is no cause for concern on your part.  You would not be hurting him if you follow his cues and what he is telling you.  Communication is key. If he’s interested now, you need to foster that.  He may be more reluctant and less forthcoming as treatment progresses.”

“What can I do then? So that I don’t hurt him.  That his symptoms won’t be exacerbated by sex.”

“There are ways to make intimacy less stressful for those in treatment. A warm shower or bath to help relax might be advisable. If needed, he can take nausea or pain medication 30 minutes before sex. Set the mood. For example, light candles and play music.  Don’t overthink it Jungkook.  The most important part is to listen to to him.  Focus on his body cues.  I’m assuming you aren’t a virgin Jungkook.  Just as you would do with any other partner you focus on what makes you both feel good and feel comfortable.”

“That’s the thing.  He’s not like anyone else I’ve ever been with.  He’s more—he’s…he’s everything.”

“Then trust in what he’s telling you. And I have to say I respect that you came here to speak to me so openly about this.  Not many would. It shows how much you care for him.  Just trust each other and communicate.  You’ll be fine.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook stands at Taehyung’s doorstep, sunflowers held tightly in his hand. He straightens his shirt and knocks, waiting.  He looks up to see Jin standing with his arms crossed, clearly sending judging looks his way.

“What can I help you with Jungkook?”

Jungkook stands up straight and rolls his eyes.  He really doesn’t have the patience or the energy to deal with Jin right now.  Not when he’s looking at him like this. “I’m here to see Tae.  Can I come in?”

Jin purses his lips. “No. He’s not here.  He’s out with Yoongi.”

Jungkook frowns. “Out with Yoongi? Where? Should he even be out?”

“Yes Jungkook, he’s out with Yoongi because aside from the fatigue he’s feeling, it’s actually pretty tame to what he’s felt in the past, so he wants to enjoy himself a bit before he starts feeling worse.”

Jungkook thinks back to what Dr. Allen said to him.  The exact same thing Jin just repeated.  Jungkook has been so focused on the diagnosis and labeling Taehyung as a sick cancer patient he’s really not living in the moment with Taehyung.  The small moments where Taehyung feels ok.

“Do you know where he is?”

“Sligo’s.”

Jungkook can feel his blood start to boil. “On a Friday night? When Tom is the one tending the bar? And you let him go to a bar?! To drink?!”

Jin stands glaring at Jungkook, moving forward making Jungkook take a step back off his front stoop. “First of all, who cares if Tom is bartending tonight.  Taehyung for some bizarre reason has chosen you.  And has no interest in Tom.  But if you want to keep playing the jealousy game keep at it.  It really won’t help you or get you anywhere other than annoy him. Second, Taehyung is a grown man, a grown adult.  He doesn’t need my permission to go anywhere.  Plus, he promised me he wouldn’t drink.  He doesn’t want to jeopardize his treatment, especially since it’s not just all about him anymore.  He has you to think about and protect now as well.  Imagine the stress and pressure that puts on him.  Because it’s not just about surviving this thing, it’s about making sure YOU do. Yes, he’s sick Jungkook, but if I’ve learned anything this second time around is I have to listen to him.  I’m going to support him and take care of him, but the constant overprotection, the constant treating him as nothing more than a cancer patient and making that his whole identity…that’s something I refuse to do again.  I’ve finally understood how much that hinders and does not help his progress and mental health.  My advice is that you start to realize that as well. Have a good night Jungkook.”

Jin slams the door in Jungkook’s face.  He blinks as he takes in everything Jin just said to him.  He needs to go and find Taehyung and talk to him.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Another cranberry juice Tae?” asks Tom.

“No, I’m good. Thanks,” he says giving Tom a small smile. 

Yoongi nudges him with his elbow. “So you want to tell me why we’re here instead of you being with Jungkook? What happened?”

Taehyung leans against the bar rolling his eyes. “You don’t want to know unless you want me to keep paying for your therapy.”

Yoongi cringes.  “Oh, so it’s some weird sex thing?”

“No. Actually not at all.  No weird sex thing because there is no sex at all.  Like even a little,” Taehyung says shrugging.

Yoongi looks at Taehyung shocked.  “You mean you two haven’t…wow, I’m actually surprised.  With the way you look at each other I thought you would’ve definitely been at that stage.”

“Nope.  Jungkook definitely does not want that.  Made it very clear…several times.  Leave it to me to end up with a soulmate who doesn’t find me sexually attractive.  Fuck my life seriously.”

Yoongi snorts, “He’s probably shitting himself. That idiot.”

“What do you mean?” Taehyung asks frowning.

“Well, he’s probably scared about what it means to have sex with someone who’s sick.”

Taehyung scoffs, “What, does he think it’s contagious or something? I’m going to give him cancer like some fucking STD?”

“No stupid.  Scared as in he doesn’t want to maybe hurt you.”

“Yeah, he said that.  I told him that’s not the case.  He doesn’t want to listen to me.  And if he can’t listen what else am I supposed to do? I feel shitty enough about myself.  This fucking disease took my whole identity from me.  I don’t need to hear it from my soulmate too.  Fuck that, Yoongi.  My mood is crappy enough.  I don’t have the energy to explain things to people and not have them listen.”

Yoongi sighs as he looks from the door to Taehyung. “Ok, well, you want me to tell him because he’s here,” Yoongi says motioning to Jungkook who looks like a lost puppy staring at Taehyung with the saddest eyes.

Taehyung bites his lip. “Fuck. You have to be kidding me.  I actually didn’t want to do this tonight.  I wanted some space.”

“So tell him that.  Here he comes,” Yoongi says sending a small wave to Jungkook. “I have to use the bathroom,” he says the second Jungkook is standing in front of Taehyung.

“That wasn’t obvious at all. Hi Tae.”

“What’s up Jungkook,” Taehyung asks staring back at Jungkook.  There is no way he’s going to let this alpha ruin this night for him.

“Jungkook. Can I get you anything?” Tom asks looking at Taehyung then back at Jungkook.

“No, I’m good,” Jungkook responds not even sparing a glance at the bartender. “Tae…think we could talk? Outside? Not here?”

“I’m really not in the mood to fight tonight Jungkook.  I just want to enjoy my night stress free.  Maybe we could talk tomorrow.”

Yoongi comes back and freezes.  “Oh, we’re still doing this? Should I go back to the bathroom or…”

“No Yoongs, it’s fine.  Jungkook we’ll talk tomorrow, ok?”

“No not ok Taehyung.  I know you’re upset I can smell it.  I also know how insensitive and stupid I’ve been with you, but in my defense, I’ve never been through something like this before.  I thought what I was doing was what I was supposed to do.  Clearly, I was wrong.  Can we please talk?”

“Why? So that I can say things to you, and you ignore them because you know best? You ask me to respect your choices, but when I tell you my wishes, my choices you think you know better than me.  The person who has already gone through this before. I’m tired Jungkook, but not so fatigued tonight that I want to sit at home and be Leukemia patient Taehyung.  I’ll turn into him in a couple of days.  Tonight, I just want to be me.”

Jungkook sighs.  “Tae, I hear you.  I wasn’t before. I’ll admit that.  And yes, I was acting like I knew better, but I want to listen now.  I want to learn more about what it is you need me to do in order for you to get what you need.”

“I’m not a professor Jungkook. It’s not my job to teach you about cancer.” Taehyung responds annoyed. He doesn’t want to be flippant like this with Jungkook, but he’s just so tired with all of this.

“I know.  And that’s why I went to talk to Dr. Allen.”

Taehyung turns so quickly to look at Jungkook, Yoongi thinks he may have whiplash.  “You did what?”

“I went to talk to Dr. Allen about some things I was confused about.  Things I needed help understanding.”

Taehyung sits mouth agape.  “Are you kidding me?”

“No,” Jungkook reaches for Taehyung’s hand holding it gently, “I told you.  I want to be better at supporting you and listening to what it is you need.  I wasn’t.  And I can’t even begin to understand how stressful and painful this all is and dealing with an idiot alpha like me who is stubborn and ignorant I’m sure doesn’t help.  Will you—please, can we talk?”

Yoongi elbows Taehyung and nods.  Taehyung rolls his eyes and pushes Yoongi back. “I’ll remind you that you were his biggest hater,” Taehyung says loudly making Jungkook frown. 

“That’s true. But my priority will always be you.  And when you aren’t happy, I’m not happy.  So go and talk to this idiot and fix this.  It’s not that deep.  He’s an idiot and you’re stubborn as fuck.  Go not be and fix it.  Tom! A glass of your finest whiskey! I wasn’t drinking for solidarity, best friendship, all that jazz, but since you’re leaving, I’m having a drink.  God speed Jungkook.”

“Who said I’m leaving with him?!” Taehyung asks offended. 

“You’re leaving with him.  Now go.  Stop being stupid.  Both of you.”

Jungkook smiles and holds out his hand for Taehyung to take.  “He’s right.  Come on Princess.  Let’s stop being stupid and talk hmm?”

Taehyung grits his teeth and walks past Jungkook. “I’ll talk but I am NOT taking your hand,” he huffs walking outside.

“Don’t worry Jungkook.  He’s not really as angry as he seems.  He’s just hurt and feeling a little insecure. He just needs some reassurance that’s all.”

Jungkook nods. “Thanks Yoongi.”

He reaches outside to see Taehyung leaning against the wall of the building.  Gripping his coat around himself.  Jungkook can see his teeth chattering. “Tae, where is your hat? And gloves? And scarf? Baby, come on,” Jungkook whines, “Why would you leave the house without any of that stuff?”

“Fuck off Jungkook.  I’m not a child.  What do you want to talk about?”

“In my car.  It’s freezing out here and you’re shaking.  In my car Tae.  Where it’s nice and warm.”

Taehyung hates to admit it, but he really is freezing.  He nods and follows Jungkook to his car.  “So?”

Jungkook hands Taehyung a bouquet of sunflowers he had in the backseat.

“Thanks,” Taehyung says staring at the flowers, expressionless.

“Wow. Not even your favorite flowers can make you crack a smile—“

“You are annoying the ever-living hell out of me Jungkook.  What did you want to talk about? I told you; this isn’t how I wanted to spend my night.  Why can’t you listen to what I’m saying?”

Jungkook inhales and exhales.  “I’m sorry.  I’m not trying to be annoying, I’m trying to understand.  You’re right.  I definitely was imposing my beliefs about what I thought I needed to do.  What I expected a cancer patient to be or do, I guess.  And yes, not having sex is one of those things I didn’t necessarily think was something people with cancer did or wanted to do.”

Taehyung leans back in his chair and closes his eyes.  “Not all cancer patients will want to have sex.  Not all of them will be healthy enough to want to. And who knows I’ll probably reach that point as well. So you would think that you would want to do it with me since I’m so open to it right now because we may never get another chance to Jungkook.”

“You think we’re never going to get another chance to?” Jungkook sighs, frustrated.  “Tae…you’re doing it again Baby. You’re letting it turn so negative.  You’re already counting yourself out before you let the treatment do what it needs to do.”

“And I’m going to tell you again. What if it doesn’t work? And I never get an opportunity to be with you like that…ever? Are you willing to sit back and let the moment pass?”

“No. But I need you to know that my refusal to be intimate with you has nothing to do with you and my attraction to you.  Because I am.  Taehyung, I would fuck you every day where I would have you walking side to side Baby.”

Taehyung eyes widen. 

“Believe me, I am very very attracted to you.  How can I not be? Look at you. And that body and ass,” Jungkook says leaning in closer to Taehyung’s face. “It had nothing to do with that. I was scared though.  And I’ll be honest I didn’t want to hurt you.  I didn’t want to make your symptoms worse.  I had a very skewed idea of what people in treatment are like.  And this time with you it wouldn’t just be sex Taehyung.  It would be different.  All those times before never mattered.  This would.  I’ve never been in love with someone I’ve slept with.  So I overthought it.  And I’m sorry.  I should’ve been more sensitive.  Listened to what you were telling me you wanted and needed. Instead, I made you feel insecure about yourself.  When you have nothing to worry about.” 

“Maybe I should’ve been more understanding and listened to you too. But Jungkook it’s hard for me ok.  I have enough to worry about.  I just don’t have the energy to argue or educate or push.”

“I know.  I know that.  But that’s why we have to talk to each other.  Communicate better—“

“Says the alpha who caused so many misunderstandings because he refused to communicate with me,” scoffs Taehyung.

“Yeah, I did and look what happened.  I won’t let that happen again.”

Taehyung sighs and puts his head back on the car seat.  “Fine.  I agree.  We need to learn to better listen to each other and communicate.”

“Good.  So…wanna go have sex,” Jungkook teases.

Taehyung turns and glares at him. “No! I definitely do not! I am most definitely over the whole sex thing. Fuck that,” he says taking out his phone to check the time. 

Jungkook looks at him teasingly, “Really? Because I’m ready to go if you are?”

“Ha ha very funny.  I’m not. Actually, can you take me home? My night is shot anyway at this point, and I really just want to go to bed and sleep.”

“Wait, seriously?” Jungkook asks this time very disappointed, all the teasing having left.

“Yeah. I’m over it.” Taehyung straps his seat belt on and puts his head against the window.

“Are you feeling sick?”

Taehyung sighs. “No Jungkook, I am not feeling sick. I am feeling annoyed.  Like I said I was actually having an ok night. Now, not so much.  I’m getting tired and I just want to go home. I’m not trying to be difficult.  I’m just feeling super irritable and I’m trying to get back into an ok space.  And I think it’s going to be me getting into bed, with a book, and going to sleep…alone.”

“Will you at least let me try to salvage your night? I know if you let me try, I can do it.”

“I don’t think so,” Taehyung says pulling the beanie off his head.

“I have something planned.  Something you’re really going to enjoy.  Please.  Let me try to make it up to you.”

“Can’t you just take no for an answer? And stop pushing?”

Jungkook takes Taehyung’s hands and holds them. “I can if you aren’t feeling well and need to rest.  Not if you’re just being stubborn.  Believe me what I have planned for you I think you’ll really enjoy.  Put you in a much better mood.  I ruined the night so at least let me have the opportunity to fix it for you.”

Taehyung looks down at their hands. He can smell the overwhelming vanilla scent filling the car.  He’s starting to feel more relaxed, less anxiously. Damn this alpha and his stupid amazing scent. 

“Fine. Ok fine.”

Jungkook leans in kissing Taehyung who freezes feeling apprehensive. Jungkook tilts his head in surprise. “Listen to me, do not start to pull back from me because of my own idiocy.  Do you hear me? I told you.  It had nothing to do with how I feel about you. I want you.  All of you.  Don’t start thinking that I don’t want to have physical contact with you.”

Taehyung nods and looks out the window.  “Did I tell you that I had a boyfriend when I was first diagnosed? I mean I guess in the grand scheme of things it didn’t matter much.  Relationships don’t really last when the whole soulmate thing exists.  I knew being with him was on borrowed time anyway, but it didn’t hurt any less when he dumped me. Being the boyfriend of a cancer patient was too much for him.  My body changed.  I lost tons of weight.  I lost my hair,” Taehyung reaches up touching his locks twisting a strand around his finger. 

“We stopped having sex. We stopped communicating.   I could feel him pulling away.  Not really wanting to touch me.” Taehyung shrugs and turns to Jungkook.  “I’ve been through this before Jungkook. He used to tell me the exact same shit.  Like I said, I don’t have the energy for any of this. I guess the only difference is that you and I are soulmates, so we’re bound to each other.  That whole I die, you die thing,” Taehyung snorts.

Jungkook shakes his head, clenching his jaw. “You’re comparing me to some fucking asshole who wasn’t alpha enough to be with you, support you? Fuck him.  The only one who is meant to be here for you is me. For each other. We established that. And that is not what is happening now. But that’s fine.  I get it.  The insecurities run deep.  And I didn’t help them. I’ll just have to show you.  And I will.  Don’t you worry about that.”

Taehyung sighs, pulling his hands away.  “Can we just go?”

Jungkook will just have to show him.  And he will…tonight.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung looks around and wonders why they would be here this late at night. He squints his eyes against the harsh winter air.  The air in this part of the city is biting.  It’s a cyclone of cold air that sits between the buildings and chills you to the bone.  His lips are blue from the cold and he’s shaking.  He knows he already told Jungkook he would go with him to wherever it was he wanted to take him, but now he’s really over it.

“Jungkook!” Taehyung says loudly over the wind. “I think I want to go home now.  Whatever we were going to do I’ve changed my mind.  I’d like to go home now please.” Taehyung can feel his irritability rising again.  Anger and being irritable something he always seemed to feel the last time he was sick.  It was one of the reasons they had him see a therapist.  He feels himself succumbing to it again. He really wishes he was sitting in Sligo’s right now with Yoongi.

“Baby, hang in there with me, ok? I didn’t realize it would be this cold tonight but believe me once we get away from this fucking wind tunnel it’ll be bearable.” Jungkook pulls him along tugging him towards the end of the Rose Kennedy Greenway. 

Taehyung can see the lights up ahead and squints again. “Jungkook! Is the carousel on? They close it down for the winter,” Taehyung feels Jungkook wrap an around him trying to shield him from the wind.

“It’s ok! I’m fine.” Taehyung pulls away making Jungkook frustratingly groan.

They arrive at the carousel, which is very much on and functioning, but closed off.  Taehyung watches as a man exits the tiny box ticket area and runs up to Jungkook.  “Took you long enough!”

“Sorry, it was a bitch to find parking,” Jungkook says apologetically.

“You must be Taehyung.  This guy is fucking crazy.  The amount of money he spent to have this thing opened for you,” the man shakes his head in disbelief.  “Ok. If you want your ride hurry up and get on.  It’s only supposed to get colder.  Enjoy it!” he says turning to Taehyung smiling as best he can face frozen from the cold. 

Taehyung turns to look at Jungkook. “You rented the carousel for me?”

“I did. Although like I said, this fucking weather was not something I was banking on.”

Taehyung looks at the carousel and back at Jungkook. “Why?”

“Because you needed cheering up. I made you upset and I wanted to cheer you up.  And you brought me here to cheer me up remember? And I know how important carousels were to your mom and in turn to you.  They remind you of her and she makes you happy like no one else can.”

Taehyung doesn’t know if it’s the wind or he is legitimately tearing up.  “You make it so hard for me to stay mad at you,” Taehyung says staring at the carousel. 

Jungkook smiles putting his arm around Taehyung’s waist.  “Come on,” he says as he guides Taehyung to the butterfly.

“Butterfly?” Taehyung asks raising a brow. “No rabbit?”

“No not tonight.  You wanted the butterfly last time.  So it’s the butterfly for you.  A butterfly as pretty as you,” Jungkook says leaning in kissing Taehyung’s nose.

He helps Taehyung up and climbs on behind him. “We can’t both fit here! Go sit on the rabbit!”

Jungkook wraps his arms around Taehyung and holds him close, hugging him from behind.  “We can both fit.  Stop trying to get away from me. I can feel you tensing in my arms Taehyung. Just relax and enjoy the ride, Princess.” Jungkook knows he’s not exactly playing fair, but he needs Taehyung to get out of his head right now.  He releases his scent and can instantly feel Taehyung lean back and almost melt into him.  Taehyung lies his head back on Jungkook’s shoulder.

“It’s so fucking cold,” Taehyung says teeth chattering, “but I love this.  This actually does make me feel better.  More connected to mom.  And I really haven’t felt that since I ruined my book. So thank you.  This was actually something I needed.”

“See…I told you I could make it up to you.  Turn this night around for you.  All you had to do was trust me.”

Taehyung sits up straight. “I’m trying Jungkook.  You think you’re the only one who has trust issues, but I have them too.  It’s hard for me too.”

Jungkook gently pulls Taehyung back in, “I know that.  We both have to work on trusting each other fully.  We‘ll get there. We have all the time in the world.”

Taehyung moves away again and sighs. “I really wish you would stop saying that.”

“And I really wish you would stop doing that.  Bringing the doom and gloom.  More positivity remember?”

“Says the person who only sees me as some fucking pathetic cancer patient,” Taehyung says bitingly.

“That’s not true. I have a lot to learn about this disease Taehyung, but that is not the way I see you.”

Taehyung grits his teeth.  This disease is systematically ruining his life again.  His emotions are everywhere.  He’s angry all the time. He hates the way people look at him now.  “I—I think maybe I should go see that therapist I was recommended.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.  I’m having a really hard time with this all Jungkook. I’m having a really hard time dealing with myself being sick again. My fucking self esteem is shot again. I’m scared all the time.  I feel like I’m losing myself to this thing.”

Jungkook hugs him placing his chin on Taehyung’s shoulder.  “Whatever you feel you need, I’ll help you and support you. You just have to let me in.  And that’s coming from me.  One of the most closed off people to have ever existed.  We need to be open with each other.  And I know you don’t believe this right now, but it’s going to be ok.  We’re going to get through this.  One day at a time, right? Like Dr. Allen said.  And tonight, you said you felt ok.  Kind of normal.  Let’s stay with that.  Let’s put everything else aside and focus on that for right now.  For tonight.  Can you do that for me?”

Taehyung leans his head on the cold carousel pole.  “Yes…I can try.”

“Good.  Because I have one more thing, I had planned for you tonight.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Jungkook….I told you; I really want to sleep in my own bed tonight.  I had a wonderful time on the carousel.  It made me feel better, it did, but I’m ready to just head home and put this day behind me.”

“You told me you were willing to try to get that feeling of normalcy back for tonight.”

“Yeah, I did say that.  And I did feel it.  And now I’m ready to go home.  I—just don’t want to stay here.  In your bed.  I’m not mad at you ok.  But I’m feeling a little uncomfortable still.” Taehyung stands in Jungkook’s living room staring at the couch, arms around himself.  He feels the embarrassment rise as he remembers what happened the last time he was here.  He flinches and turns to look at Jungkook.

“Do you know how much it hurts me to hear that you don’t feel comfortable in my apartment? With me?”

“I never said I didn’t feel comfortable with you.  I just feel a little embarrassed.  It’s fine though.  I’ll get over it—“

“I don’t want you to get over it because you shouldn’t be feeling embarrassed.” Jungkook takes him by the waist and kisses him.  He can still feel Taehyung’s apprehension.  “I need to do something.  Will you wait here for me for a second?”

Taehyung nods.  Jungkook disappears down the hall.  Taehyung hates himself and how he’s feeling right now.  He takes his phone out and starts to scroll through his Instagram hoping to take his mind off things until Jungkook gets back.  He wishes he had brought his book with him. 

He feels Jungkook’s arms wrap around him again as he leans in close and whispers in Taehyung’s ear, “I planned something for us.  But—I need you to trust me on this.  I know you’re first instinct will be to rebel against it, be stubborn, tell me I’m doing it because of the bond, or because of what happened the other night and I’m trying to force it or…fuck, I don’t know.  Just—please don’t start overthinking it.  I want to show you how I feel about you.  How much I love you.  And most importantly how you make me feel.” Jungkook turns Taehyung around so that he faces him.  “I know you feel insecure right now.  I know you don’t feel like yourself and you feel lost.  But—just let me help you find yourself tonight.  I want you to allow us to really connect tonight.”

“Jungkook…what does any of that even mean? What exactly do you have planned?”

“Let me show you.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook leads Taehyung into his bathroom and what Taehyung sees makes him lose his breath.  He stands speechless as he looks around the bathroom that has been adorned with red rose petals, soft music playing in the background.  The tub has a bubble bath drawn filled with red rose petals that line the floor of the bathroom as well.  Candles light the small space twinkling, sending glittering sparkles throughout the room.  It reminds Taehyung of his twinkle lights back at home.

“What is this?” he asks Jungkook still taking in everything.

“Do you like it?”

Taehyung nods, smiling happily.  “It’s very pretty Jungkookie. Is this for me? Did you set up a bubble bath for me?”

“For us…”

Taehyung turns to look at Jungkook to see him smirking.  “What is with that look? And what do you mean us?” Jungkook slowly walks up to Taehyung eyes burning into his. 

“Us.  You and me.  I know I’ve been ridiculous, stupid, insensitive with this whole sex thing.  But if you let me try…I’ll make it up to you, I will…believe me I will Taehyung,” Jungkook slips his hand in under Taehyung’s shirt caressing his back sending shivers down Taehyung’s spine.

“Wait!” Taehyung says in a panic.  “Wait.  I—hold on—”

“You promised me you would trust me.  That you would let me show you how much I love you.  How you make me feel,” Jungkook says pulling Taehyung in close again. “Don’t go back on your promise.”

“Jungkook—” Jungkook looks into Taehyung’s eyes and sees the fear. “Baby, listen to me.  I’m still scared too.  But…and I know this is weird to say, but Dr. Allen told me there’s ways you and I can do this, and you won’t be hurt or feel worse.  Just…you just have to trust me.  Please.  Let me take care of you.  Let me make you feel good Tae,” he says softly, as he strips Taehyung of his shirt.  He runs his fingers along Taehyung chest, his ribs, along the tan flawless skin that felt so smooth under his touch. 

Taehyung shivers, standing frozen, motionless. He’s afraid to speak, to move, to breath, in fear that he would wake up and discover this to all have been a cruel dream.  Jungkook bents down and unbuttons Taehyung’s jeans gently pulling them down and off Taehyung’s slender body to reveal the cutest panties ever, perfectly adorned with a strawberry on them. Jungkook raises a brow and chuckles.

Taehyung turns bright red and rolls his eyes. “Fuck you Jungkook, it’s not like I knew I was going to be doing this tonight! I swear I’m going to die of embarrassment again.” Taehyung covers his face with his hands and now actually does hope he wakes up and he’s lying in his bed.

“Hey,” Jungkook reaches up gently removing Taehyung’s hands from his face. “They’re fucking adorable, and you have no reason to feel embarrassed.” He knows Taehyung has lost some weight, but even then, he’s still turned on by the sight of his omega’s body laid bare before him. 

Jungkook throws his own shirt off quickly and haphazardly.  Sweatpants unceremoniously torn off as well until they are both standing in front of each other in nothing but their underwear.  “Come here, Tae,” Jungkook says holding out his hand.  Taehyung hesitates, but only for a second.  Jungkook takes his hand and places it on his crotch so that Taehyung can feel the very obvious erection. Taehyung’s breath hitches. “Do you feel that Baby.  Does that feel like I don’t want you? Does that feel like I don’t find you to be the hottest piece of ass I’ve ever seen?”

Jungkook turns and walks to the edge of the tub and removes his boxers.  Taehyung bites his bottom lip as he watches his alpha climb into the tub sitting down looking at him with a look that Taehyung can only describe as predatory.  “Princess…” Jungkook holds his hand out again.  Taehyung walks to the edge of the tub standing, waiting.  Jungkook reaches out pulling Taehyung closer to the tub.  His eyes are drawn to the curve of Taehyung’s hips, and he begins to place small kisses on his waist slowly moving to his stomach.  To the spot right above the waistband of Taehyung’s panties.  He slowly pulls them down watching as Taehyung’s erection springs up.  He licks his lips and pulls Taehyung gently into the tub with him.

“Sit right here in front of me Tae,” he says guiding Taehyung. He settled in front of Jungkook, his back to Jungkook’s chest.  Jungkook didn’t waste time to rest his lips at the base of Taehyung’s neck, against his spine, as he pulled him into an embrace.  Taehyung could feel Jungkook’s erection on his back and the thought of it made him let out a small moan.  Jungkook’s touch never left Taehyung; he started at the point of his shoulders and drew circles over his arms, laced his fingers between Taehyung’s, and hooked his feet around his calves slowly opening his legs.

He gently touched his knees, moving his palms to rest on Taehyung’s inner thighs, sliding up to his hips.  A deep sigh escaped Taehyung’s lips that only intensified Jungkook’s need for him. Jungkook could feel the intense heat and lust rising in his chest.  He could smell the arousal in Taehyung’s scent.  The usual sweet scent shifting to something else.  Something rawer, more primeval.  He felt like the scent was making him slowly lose his senses, but he knew he needed to control himself.  He needed to be gentle.  Slow.  Precise.  He squeezed Taehyung thighs, kneading them in his palms.

“Jungkook,” Taehyung breathed out grasping onto Jungkook’s own large muscular thighs.  “I love you Taehyung,” he whispered into Taehyung’s ear making him close his eyes.  Jungkook’s mouth was against Taehyung’s shoulder, and he could see the effect he was having on him. But Taehyung could also feel the effect was mutual and he didn’t bother to control neither his scent nor his emotions that were breaking like waves over Jungkook’s body sending shivers through him.  Jungkook moved his hand slowly down until he wrapped it around Taehyung’s hard cock, stroking it slowly, gently.

Taehyung’s eyes fluttered shut as he arched his back into Jungkook who placed his other hand on his waist holding him down. “Relax Baby, relax,” he whispered into Taehyung’s ear. “Let me take care of you,” he growled into his ear, making Taehyung purr and moan loudly. Jungkook continued to stroke him, slowly, savoring the intimate contact with his omega, his soulmate. Jungkook wanted to breathe Taehyung in and hold his scent in his lungs, to taste his breath as Taehyung exhaled and shivered softly.

Taehyung braced both hands on the edge of the tub, shaking slightly. Jungkook could feel the omega’s hips begin to push into his grasp, Taehyung’s breath quickening now. Jungkook pushed him back down into the water.

“Let me do all the work,” Jungkook whispered, his lips inches from Taehyung’s long neck. Jungkook licked along his neck tasting him and then slid his teeth ever so gently across Taehyung’s silky skin, feeling the pulse of his jugular vein against his tongue. Taehyung knew it wouldn’t take him long in his debilitated state. He twitched and shivered at the feeling of Jungkook’s teeth as they grazed his neck.

“Don’t stop, please,” Taehyung pleaded in breathy gasps, “Just like that…” Taehyung breathed out, moaning. Jungkook slowed down and slid his hand off of Taehyung’s cock and up the expanse of his chest. Taehyung’s eyes flew open when the contact was broken.

Taehyung could feel the alpha’s heat surrounding him; Jungkook’s swollen cock pushing against the small of his back, sliding against him in the slick soapy water. Jungkook reached around to grab hold of Taehyung again and the omega melted into him arching his back against Jungkook’s chest.

Jungkook’s hand reached below at Taehyung’s ass, skilled fingers teasing Taehyung’s opening, almost pushing inside of him. Taehyung was breathless, pleading with words Jungkook couldn’t understand. Jungkook hadn’t realized it, but he was growling under his breath. The animal inside him wanted desperately to bite flesh, to taste blood, to claim what it wanted the only way it knew how. Jungkook would have to control himself this time; Taehyung was in no state for anything rough…not tonight. He took a deep breath and tried to clear his mind, pushing the beast back down into his psyche.

Taehyung’s brown eyes slid back into his head as Jungkook pushed a finger gently inside of him, pressing on his prostate. Taehyung let out a yell as Jungkook pushed in deeper.

“Is that ok, Baby?” Jungkook asked tenderly, not wanting to hurt him. Taehyung had his eyes shut tight. He bit his lower lip hard and grabbed Jungkook’s arm, grinding against him. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Jungkook said, fingering him faster and burying his face in Taehyung’s wet hair, breathing in his scent.

Taehyung choked out a sob as he threw his head back, bracing on the heels of his hands to ride Jungkook’s fingers as he felt Jungkook’s erection against his ass.  He tilted his hips allowing deeper access.

“Jungkook…please…now” Taehyung pleaded, rocking urgently against him. Jungkook’s fingertips grazed his prostate again making Taehyung groan, every nerve tingling.  He quickly slid his fingers out and pulled Taehyung on top of him slowly guiding his cock gently and slowly into Taehyung. Taehyung let himself be taken deeper, Jungkook pulling him by the waist slowly starting to thrust up into him.  Jungkook placed his hands on either side of Taehyung’s waist running his fingers up and down as he thrust up into him making him rise and tremble, then let gravity drives him down hard against his cock. 

Taehyung gasped and moaned as Jungkook repeated the movement again, again, and again.  Over and over without abandon, the angle of Jungkook’s cock hitting him right where it needs to making him see stars as he rode him in reverse.  

"Tae," Jungkook groaned, grasping Taehyung’s hips and forcing him into a harder thrust, his hips rising in the tub to thrust up higher. Taehyung ground down harder and grabbed his hand, leading his fingers to his cock. Jungkook frantically stroked him, the rhythm of his hips growing quicker and harder under Taehyung making him scream. Taehyung bucked and arched his back, his orgasm coming hard, leaving him trembling as Jungkook growled again, a guttural rumbling sound that vibrated in his chest.

It was several minutes before Jungkook’s breathing slowed and he opened his eyes to survey the damage. He let out a loud laugh at the little flood on the bathroom floor. Jungkook slowly lifted Taehyung up as he pulled out.  “Princess, can you swing around for me?” Taehyung weakly and tiredly maneuvered his body around as water overflowed from the tub onto the floor adding to the already growing puddle. He swung his legs around on either side of Jungkook’s thighs straddling him in the water.  Taehyung melted into him, sprawled out along his chest, slender fingers interlaced in his own. He swept Taehyung’s damp hair from his forehead and placed a gentle kiss there.

“You didn’t knot me,” pouted Taehyung.

Jungkook can’t help but let out a loud scoff.  This brat.

“Baby, give it time, will you? Once you’re fully healthy believe me, I’ll knot you every day. Seven days a week.  Just you wait.”

Taehyung lets out a giggle against Jungkook’s chest. “I’m so tired Jungkookie.”

Jungkook inhaled deeply letting out a slow sigh. The water began to feel tepid, and he shifted his weight to get out.

After throwing as many towels on the floor as he could find and drying himself hastily, he helped lift Taehyung from the lukewarm water. Taehyung was feeling weak, and he hung on Jungkook as he ruffed up his hair with a towel.

“I think that’s all the energy I had left Jungkookie,” Taehyung smiled weakly at Jungkook as he helped lean him up against the sink. Jungkook grabbed Taehyung pajama bottoms and helped him step into them. He took his slightly damp sweatpants from the bathroom floor and pulled them back on.

Jungkook turned to Taehyung scooping him up, like a bride being carried over the threshold as he kicked the bathroom door open with his foot.

“I can walk Jungkook,” Taehyung said even though Jungkook knew it was a lie.

“Too bad,” Jungkook replied. “You don’t get a choice right now, Princess.” He gently placed Taehyung down on his bed. Taehyung’s head swam for a moment, nausea washing over him. He curled up on the bed watching Jungkook intently.

“Baby, you alright?” Jungkook asked setting some of the candles from the bathroom up in his room. They crackled and flickered giving a soft glow to the side of Jungkook’s face. Taehyung thought he had never seen a more beautiful sight as this powerfully intense man who, for some reason which Taehyung couldn’t quite discern, cared for him so much. He loved Taehyung. And Taehyung loved him back just as intensely.

“Fine,” Taehyung said quietly. Jungkook slid into the bed and pulled Taehyung closely to him, embracing him, holding him impossibly close. Taehyung closed his eyes and tucked his head under Jungkook’s neck.

“Thank you for tonight Jungkookie,” Taehyung whispered, his eyelids getting heavy. Jungkook pulled the blanket tightly around both of them as Taehyung drifted to sleep with Jungkook whispering back, “I love you, Princess. Get some rest.”

Chapter Text

“Stop touching me!” Taehyung screams into Jungkook’s face as he sticks his head into the toilet bowl again.  Jungkook flinches at the harsh tone coming from Taehyung and takes a step back giving him space.  He reaches for the roll of toilet paper and sits on the floor next to Taehyung.  He slowly, carefully, places his palm on Taehyung’s back and feels him tense under his touch.

“I told you, stop touching me,” Taehyung mumbles into the toilet bowl. He feels another wave coming as he gags and coughs up bile. Jungkook ignores Taehyung’s request and starts to rub circles on his back simultaneously releasing his scent to try to ease Taehyung’s nausea.  “That’s not working,” Taehyung weakly states, lifting his head slightly to look at Jungkook. Taehyung shakes off Jungkook’s hand from his back and sits back. 

Jungkook feels that dull ache in his chest twist a bit.  It’s been steadier, a little more intense since Taehyung finished this round of chemo.  He ignores it, instead focusing on his omega.  What he can’t ignore is the ache in his heart seeing his soulmate like this.  Pale, ghastly, eyes sunken.  This is a Taehyung he doesn’t recognize, and his heart breaks a little every time he looks into his eyes and sees that light that use to be there burning brightly now extinguished.  Gone.

It’s been a week since Taehyung finished his second round of chemotherapy. Every day for 5 days Taehyung has had treatment.  Where last month things seemed to go as planned and were even better than expected, this time around Taehyung’s side effects due to the doubling down of the chemo have intensified, along with Taehyung’s anger and overall inability to cope. With every passing day that his blood count refused to increase, Taehyung’s mood and emotions took a downward spiral.  He’s been more reserved, withdrawn.  And when he does speak, it’s anger.  Anger filled screams lashing out at anyone who dares come near him. 

Jungkook being the one who is with him 24 hours a day has become the one to take in and receive most of that uncontrollable rage.  Jungkook supposes it must be karma finally making its way around, kicking his ass for all the torment and anger he directed at Taehyung for so long.  But he’ll gladly take all that rage instead of the quiet, apologetic despair that Taehyung enters most nights.  Nights where his mind can’t shut down and everything is too quiet.  The nights insomnia takes over and he starts to regret the things he’s said or starts to sob uncontrollably trying to convince Jungkook to find someone to break the bond.  Jungkook would a hundred times over take the anger than the Taehyung who wants to just give up.

Jungkook unrolls some of the toilet paper and moves closer to Taehyung, reaching up to gently wipe his mouth.

“I can do that myself,” Taehyung says bitingly wanting to reach for the roll, but feeling so weak he can’t even lift his hand.

“I know you can Princess, but you don’t have to.  That’s why I’m here,” Jungkook replies giving Taehyung a small smile as he gently cleans him up.

Taehyung looks into his eyes then looks away, eyes tearing. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry Jungkookie. I—”

Jungkook pushes back Taehyung’s sweaty hair from his face and runs a finger along Taehyung’s bottom lip.  “I miss kissing these lips,” he whispers. “And you have nothing to apologize over, so don’t.”

Taehyung closes his eyes and lets his shoulders slump.  “Will you—” Taehyung hates that he even has to ask, but he’s at a point right now where he doesn’t think he could do it alone. 

“Just ask Baby.”

“Will you help me brush my teeth please,” Taehyung says through gritted teeth.  That anger festering again inside clawing at him telling him he can’t even do simple tasks anymore.  How weak that is. How weak he is.

Jungkook nods and helps Taehyung up, supporting all of his weight.  He leans him against the sink taking Taehyung’s toothbrush in his hands, “Open up pretty boy,” he says making Taehyung roll his eyes, but at the same time release a small smile.  Jungkook internally cheers.  Little wins.

Jungkook brushes Taehyung’s teeth and places the toothbrush on the sink.  He turns and without thinking he swoops Taehyung in his arms and holds him tightly.  Taehyung sighs too weak to be able to return the hug, but Jungkook doesn’t care.  He holds him, squeezing tightly. “I love you Tae.  Don’t forget that.  I love you,” he whispers into Taehyung’s hair as he feels Taehyung shake in his arms. 

“I really wish you would let me say it back,” Taehyung replies, sniffling. 

“Next month Baby. Next month after you finish your last round of this shit and you’re healthy.”

“Healthy…yeah…right,” Taehyung replies in a monotone voice.

Due to Taehyung’s intensive chemo combined with radiation, his treatment is only expected to last another month.  At which point remission is expected, the goal.  He would then reenter the stage of maintenance and they could finally move on and live their future happy and healthy.  At least that is the dream Jungkook has envisioned in his mind.  The one he repeats to Taehyung over and over again until Taehyung angrily screams at him to stop.  That it’s stupid.  That it’s unrealistic.  Irresponsible to set himself up like that only for it to not come true.  These are the times Jungkook lets Taehyung rage.  Let’s him vent and yell at him.  He knows sometimes he just needs an emotional release.  It won’t deter Jungkook’s dreams or expectations.  No matter how out of reach Taehyung thinks they are.

There’s a knock on the bathroom door and Jungkook opens it to find Doris, Taehyung’s day nurse standing frowning at them both.  She glances at the toilet and down at Taehyung’s shirt. “You have vomit on your shirt honey. Still throwing up?”

Taehyung nods weakly. 

“Ok hon, come on.  It’s time for the big guns then.  Dr. Allen put an order in this morning.  We’re going to IV anti-nausea meds.  Come lie on the bed for me.”

Jungkook wastes no time scooping Taehyung up, making him yelp. “I swear, you have a thing for manhandling me,” Taehyung says burying his face in Jungkook’s shoulder.

“And you like it, so don’t even deny it,” Jungkook teases, making Doris chuckle. 

“You two are disgustingly adorable,” she says continuing to chuckle.

“You and your husband aren’t like this anymore Doris?” Jungkook asks, gently placing Taehyung on his bed.

“We’re old Jungkook. I’d end up squashing him if he attempted to lift me like that,” she says jokingly winking at Taehyung.  She takes a needle and injects the medicine into Taehyung’s IV. “There.  This should work much better.”

Taehyung lies down and closes his eyes.  The whole room is spinning.  He feels the bile rise in his throat again. He feels gentle hands nudge his shoulder, carefully pushing him to sit up.

“Baby, lift your arms up for me.” Taehyung does as Jungkook instructs as he lifts the dirty shirt up and off Taehyung, slipping on a clean one. Taehyung inhales and wraps his arms around himself, the heavy scent of vanilla ice cream invading his senses.

“This is yours,” he tells Jungkook, taking in another deep breath. The oversized shirt that belongs to the alpha warm, soft, and soothing against his skin.

“I like seeing you in my clothes,” Jungkook says smirking, the feeling of possessiveness washing over him from seeing his omega in his clothing.

“I’m still in the room you know.  Ah, to be young, in love, and horny.”

“DORIS!” Taehyung yells, blushing and covering his face.  Jungkook lets out a belly laugh.  It’s moments like this he’s thankful for the staff here most especially the nurses.  If it wasn’t for them, Doris specifically, constantly lightening the mood, he’s not sure where they would be. 

“Honey, any other new symptoms?”

Taehyung looks at Jungkook then back to Doris and sadly nods. “My mouth.  It’s starting to hurt.”

“I’ll let Dr. Allen know.  And I’ll get you a cooler.  Any particular flavors you like more than others, Hon?”

“No, not really, anything but grape.  Yuck!” Taehyung says sticking his tongue out.

“No grape, got it.  I’ll be back with them. Hang on tight.” Doris exits the room and Jungkook turns to look at Taehyung frowning.

“No grape? Cooler?”

“Popsicles.  She’s bringing me a cooler with popsicles.  My mouth is starting to hurt. I’m getting some sores.  It’s pretty normal, but the cold from the popsicles helps. They sooth and numb the mouth. Might help my nausea a bit too,” he explains lying back down in bed. 

“Oh.” Jungkook makes a mental note to read up on what else can help soothe Taehyung’s symptoms and which other ones he should be on the lookout for. “Tae, are Jin and Yoongi coming by?”

Taehyung takes a gulp before he answers.  He can taste the bile again.  “Yoongi will be, but Jin’s working extra shifts. If my first cancer diagnosis put us in debt, this one is going to leave us absolutely bankrupt.  It really doesn’t pay to get sick in this country.”

“Is it bad?”

Taehyung snorts, “Bad is an understatement.  Insurance covers some, but not all.  We have to take out loans to cover the rest of the cost.  Like I said its expensive to get sick,” he says shrugging. “Why do you think I didn’t quit my job even with you being the asshole of the century? I needed the money.”

“Are you serious?” Taehyung nods. “What the fuck! How did you not just kick me in the balls and call it a day? I’m sorry Baby.”

Taehyung waves him off, eyes tightly shut.  He’s taking slow controlled breaths trying to keep from throwing up again.  He hears the room door open and close, but keeps his eyes closed, focused on breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth.

📖 The dragon came crashing and blundering out of the underbrush, its scales glowing a greenish copper color, its soot-caked nostrils venting smoke.

“Here you go Honey.  Cooler full of popsicles.  I took out all of the grape ones.”

“Thanks Doris,” Jungkook answers sitting on the edge of the bed stroking Taehyung’s hair as Taehyung continues to keep his eyes shut.

📖 It had not been a small dragon, either, but a male just before its first molting. Most of the party were thunderstruck, unable to draw an arrow or even to move.

“I’ll be back in an hour to take you for your radiation,” Doris replies.

The comment makes Taehyung’s eyes snap open.  Jungkook can see the fear return in his eyes again.  They look so full of fear, yet at the same time eerily void.

“I’m still doing that today? Even though I’ve been so sick?” Taehyung tries to control the panic evident in his voice.  He knows this will just make him feel sicker.  He thought he would have a chance to at least get these symptoms under control before they made him go in for the radiation. 

“We have to keep you on a schedule Hon.  But the meds I gave you will help significantly.  Enough for you to be able to stand the treatment.  Don’t worry about eating all those popsicles Honey, they’re sugar free.  I’ll be back later,” Doris gives Taehyung’s foot a supportive squeeze and leaves the room.

“Tae—”

“Don’t. Don’t say anything Jungkook. Just—just don’t,” Taehyung shakily responds closing his eyes as he tries to keep his mind off the overwhelming nausea…

📖This little boy would be King someday, and above all else, Sasha wanted him to be good. A good boy, she thought, would be a good King.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook balances the bags in his hands as he slips the key in the front door.  He’s been spending so much time at Taehyung’s that Jin agreed it would be a good idea for him to also have a key to the house so that he could come and go as needed.  He swings the door open to see Yoongi running towards him just in time to catch the bags that are falling out of Jungkook’s arms.

“What, did you buy the whole grocery store?”

“He’s losing so much weight Yoongs. He barely eats.  I figured if I bought some things he really likes it might motivate him to eat something.  And I got loads of popsicles and vanilla ice cream of course.” Jungkook carries the bags to the kitchen counter and turns to look at Yoongi who looks solemn.

“How is he this morning? Did he sleep at all last night?” Jungkook asks. Although he has been practically living here, he does make sure to give Jin and Yoongi their own time with Taehyung and last nights was Yoongi’s.

He takes a better look at Yoongi’s face. He can see the exhaustion mixed with sadness in his eyes. Jungkook sighs and leans against the counter. “Not a good night?”

“He barely slept.  Maybe an hour at the max.  I’m not really sure if it’s this fucking disease or his mind at this point Jungkook,” Yoongi sits at the kitchen table dejected. “He only just fell asleep.”

Jungkook rubs a frustrated hand across his face.  “I’ll call Dr. Allen.  Let him know he’s still not sleeping. Did—did you try talking to him again about maybe seeing Dr. Abrams?”

Yoongi let’s out a loud snort. “That was disastrous. It turned into a full-on scream fest with him telling me how he wasn’t crazy and didn’t need some psychiatrist or anyone else telling him he is.”

Yoongi has dealt with Taehyung’s anger before when he was first diagnosed, but he feels this time it’s different.  There’s anger, but there’s so much of it.  Jungkook had called it rage. But Yoongi can see it’s manifesting itself into something so hateful. 

“I think he’s preparing himself,” Yoongi suddenly says staring at nothing in particular.

“What?” Jungkook asks.

“I think I know where this rage is coming from.  He’s preparing himself.  He doesn’t think any of this is working or going to work.”

Jungkook let’s out a frustrated sigh. “He’s always thought that way, Yoongi.  That’s not new.”

“No. Don’t you see what he’s doing? This anger…Jungkook I know him better than anyone in this world.  I’ve known him since we were preschoolers.  He thinks he won’t make it.  This anger…it’s about that.  It’s about pushing people away so it’s easier to let go for us and…for himself.”

Jungkook’s breath catches.  “No one is going to need to let go.  I’ll talk to him about Dr. Abrams.  I’ll make him understand that therapy works if he gives it a chance.  And I’ll call Dr. Allen too. You said it yourself; you know him better than anyone so you know he’s going to get through this and be ok.”

“Jungkook—“

“No! Stop! I’m going to go check on him.  Can you put all this away for me please?”

Yoongi nods as he watches Jungkook storm out of the kitchen.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook stands outside Taehyung’s bedroom door.  He leans in and places his forehead on the door shutting his eyes.  He’s trying to stay positive, he really is, but he’s never had to do this before.  His first instinct is to withdraw and shield himself as well.  Use that same anger that Taehyung seems to be boiling over with.  But he knows he can’t.  They both can’t self-destruct.  He needs to be supportive and help Taehyung through this.  He knows Taehyung can get through this.

He opens the door as quietly as he can, not wanting to wake Taehyung up and peeks in. The bed is empty.  He furrows his brows and opens the door fully walking in.  He scans the room, eyes falling on Taehyung’s bed, on his pillow.  His heart rate starts to pick up as he walks towards the bed. 

He reaches down and picks up the locks of hair.  He looks down and scans the pillow again.  A lot of hair.  He places his palm on his chest and pushes down.  That heavy weight making it hard for him to breathe. He can hear sounds coming from the bathroom and he slowly makes his way to the door.  He stands outside and puts his ear to it as he twists Taehyung’s hair in his fingers.  He can hear muffled sobs coming through the door and his heart breaks.

He goes to knock but hesitates.  “Tae…Baby? You ok?”

Silence.

He knocks this time.  Loudly.  He can hear Taehyung trying to stifle his cries.  “Tae…I’m coming in—“

“DON’T! D—DON’T!” Taehyung screams. 

Jungkook closes his eyes and stands frozen outside of the door.   He snaps them open when he hears the scream.  It shakes him to the core. It’s so raw, so intense he feels it reverberate throughout his whole body, through his chest, settling in his heart.

“What was that?! Jungkook! Is he ok?!” Yoongi bursts through the bedroom door eyes wide and crazed. 

“Yoongi…leave us alone.  Please.  Give us some space,” Jungkook responds gripping onto Taehyung’s hair in his hands tightly.  “J—just give me some time to help him.”

Yoongi swallows hard, eyes watery.  “Ok.  If you need me, I’ll be right out here.”

Jungkook nods taking a deep breath as he slowly opens the bathroom door.  “Tae?” He looks at the sink and sees locks of hair on the edge.  He hears a whimper and enters fully looking to his right.  There is Taehyung on the floor wedged in between the toilet and the tub hands on the top of his head looking down crying. Jungkook’s feels like he was punched in the stomach at the sight.  He quietly walks to Taehyung and kneels down in front of Taehyung who doesn’t look at him. 

“Baby…” Jungkook says sitting down crossed legged in front of Taehyung, “talk to me.”

Taehyung looks up, eyes red and puffy.  He looks so pale.  ”M—my hair,” he whispers as he holds out his hands to show Jungkook chunks of his hair that have fallen out. “I—it’s happening again,” he whimpers.

Jungkook looks down at Taehyung’s open hands to take a closer look at the clumps of blue hair.  Taehyung hiccups and closes his eyes tears streaming down. Jungkook cups his cheek and gives him a small smile.

“Baby, it’s going to be ok.  You’re still beautiful you know that right? That your hair doesn’t define you.”

“You d—don’t understand. With everything else that I’m losing with this—this is just another thing that I was trying desperately to hold on to. T—this is hard for me. It’s like I’m officially announcing to the world that I’m sick.  At least before I could pretend.  Pretend to still be a little normal.  This—“ Taehyung gulps, “this just makes it real to everyone around me.  It’ll change the way people look at me. The way….I see myself.”

“Princess—“

“Have you ever seen a Princess with no hair Jungkook? I haven’t,” Taehyung says bitterly gripping the hair in his palms.

“Losing your hair is traumatic. What you’re feeling is valid. But Baby remember, your hair does not define you. No matter how you look, real beauty comes from genuineness and self-love. The most important person’s opinion is your own, so affirm your worthiness and beauty. And you,” Jungkook cups Taehyung’s face, “are gorgeous.  Inside and out.  And I’ll be here to remind you of that everyday you’re in treatment.  Hair or no hair.  To me you’re still the most beautiful Omega on this planet.  Nothing will change that.”

“Can you help me back to bed please? I just want to sleep for a bit,” Taehyung says staring down at the floor.  Jungkook wishes he could say something, anything to make this better for Taehyung, but he knows he’s too deep in his thoughts.  And they’re all valid.  All the sadness, the anger, the sense of loss are all feelings Jungkook knows Taehyung is allowed to have.  It doesn’t make him feel any less useless that he can’t change them for him.

“Sure, come on.” Jungkook gently lifts Taehyung up and guides him back to his room. 

“Hang on a second,” Taehyung walks to his dresser and moves to the back of the top drawer where he knows it is.  He pulls out the black beanie that he had hoped he would never need again.  He places it quickly on his head and swallows back his tears.  He walks to the bed and lies down.  Jungkook places the blankets on him and a kiss on his cheek. 

“Take a nap.  I’ll make you something to eat—“

“I’m not hungry…can you actually just leave me alone for a bit? I—I just need to be by myself.”

“Tae—“

“Please. Just for a bit.  To collect my thoughts.  I’ll be better later. I promise.  I just need to be by myself right now.”

Jungkook sighs and contemplates if this is a good idea.  The last thing he wants to do is leave Taehyung to fester in his own thoughts, but he also doesn’t want to suffocate him.  “Alright Tae.  I’ll go.  But only for a bit.  I’ll give you space, but—please just don’t overthink so much.  You know it’s not good for you.  Just remember we’re all here.  You aren’t alone Baby.  We love you, ok?”

Taehyung quietly nods and pulls the blankets tightly around himself.  He hears the door shut to his bedroom and he grips the blanket even tighter.  He shoves his face into his pillow and screams into it, muffled and desperate.  He screams until he can feel the tension headache start. He closes his eyes and wonders if he’ll ever feel normal again.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung wakes up to a hand rubbing his lower back.  Gentle and comforting.  His headache is still there.  Dull yet annoyingly painful.  He reaches up and touches the beanie on his head.  He shuts his eyes in frustration.  It really wasn’t just a dream.  He turns his head slightly and does a double take when he sees Jungkook.

“What—what did you do?! What did you do to your hair?!”

Jungkook raises a brow and smirks. “I shaved it.  What? You don’t like it? You once told me I was hot no matter what.  Was that a lie Baby?”

Taehyung blinks again and rubs his eyes. There is no way he’s seeing this correctly.  Here sits his boyfriend, beautiful locks gone.  Completely shaved.  “But I—I don’t understand.  Why would you do that to yourself?”

Jungkook leans in pulling Taehyung close kissing him deeply.  “I did it because I told you.  I’m in this 100% with you. And like I said to you your hair doesn’t define you or me.  My hair will grow back.  And yours will too.  And when it does, I think you should color it every color of the rainbow.  Bright and beautiful.  Like you.  And I know you’re in a dark place Tae.  I see it.  But I need to reiterate to you, you aren’t in this alone.  I know that Taehyung I met and fell in love with, the bright light is still in there.  Fuck cancer for trying to take him from me.  I won’t let it.  But you can’t let it either.  Stay positive for me Baby.  Fight this with me.  Please.”

Taehyung reaches up and rubs Jungkook’s head.  He lets out a small smile. “Thank you,” he whispers.  “Do you—you think you could help me shave mine too?”

Jungkook sits back and stares at those big chocolate eyes he adores.  He can see so much fear in them. “Are you sure?”

Taehyung nods and slowly takes the beanie off his head.  “Yes.  I think so.  I think I want to take back some control.  Maybe this is a way.  It’s small, but at least I can choose to remove it myself.  Empowering myself.”

Jungkook smiles widely and pulls Taehyung into a hug.  “There he is.  There’s the Taehyung who stares cancer in the face and tells it to go fuck itself.  Let me get the electric shaver and I’ll be right back.” Jungkook kisses Taehyung on the tip of his nose and hurries off to retrieve the shaver. 

Taehyung shakily walks to his bathroom and stands in front of the mirror staring back at his reflection.  He hates how this disease makes him so unrecognizable to himself.  He feels lost.  Who is he anymore?

He hears a soft knock.  Jungkook enters tentatively with a small stool and waits for Taehyung to give him the ok.  Taehyung stares back at his reflection and nods at himself.  “I’m ready.”

Jungkook sets the stool down and motions for Taehyung to take a seat.  Taehyung sits down and takes a deep breath.  He hears the shaver turn on and he closes his eyes and waits.  He feels the first stroke on his head and shudders.  He doesn’t dare open his eyes.  He sits as silent tears fall down his cheeks. Jungkook stops and bends down to kiss one of those tears.  “It’s ok Tae.  It’s ok to cry.  Go ahead.  Let it out.  Cry.”

Taehyung does.  He cries as Jungkook slowly and gently shaves his head as Taehyung feels the hair and tears fall around him.  This will be it.  These will be the last tears he’ll give this disease.  He won’t let it take anything else from him.  Or from Jungkook. 

He feels a tap on his shoulder.  “All done Baby.  And just as I expected.  You’re fucking beautiful.  Look,” Jungkook hands Taehyung a hand mirror.  He can see his hands shaking.

Taehyung wipes at his eyes and opens them staring at himself in the mirror.  He’s different, but still himself.  Jungkook is right.  This doesn’t change who he is.  Jungkook is ready and willing to go all in for him.  To fight along with him in this and maybe most people would assume it’s because Jungkook has so much riding in this as well with the bond.  But Taehyung knows that’s not what this is.  He can feel the love.  The intense devotion from Jungkook.  It’s the same thing he felt from his father towards his mother.  And Taehyung will fight tooth and nail to make sure Jungkook won’t ever end up like his father.  He may not have said it out loud yet, but he loves Jungkook with that same intensity.  And for him, he’s willing to fight anything.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung sits in Dr. Abrams’ office rubbing his hands nervously.  He adjusts the scarf on his head that Jungkook gifted him this morning.  A beautifully woven silk scarf adorned with sunflowers.

“That black beanie is way too plain and ordinary to sit on that gorgeous head of yours.  You need something just as pretty as you,” Jungkook had said as he gave him the ribboned box. Seeing himself with the scarf actually made him feel as pretty as Jungkook said he was.  He even went as far as to put on a bit of makeup.  It made him feel alive…as alive as he can feel nowadays.

“Taehyung?”

“Hmm?” Taehyung looks up and stares at Dr. Abrams.  He knows he agreed to this appointment weeks ago, but now that he’s here he wishes he hadn’t.  It makes him feel self-conscious.  Like there’s something else that’s wrong with him on top of the cancer.  That he’s not only sick, but he’s also crazy.  So crazy he’s unable to regulate his own emotions without help.

“How are you feeling today?”

“You mean aside from the debilitating life-threatening cancer? Great. Peachy. You?” Taehyung regrets the snarky sarcastic tone in his voice the second it leaves his mouth. “I’m sorry…I—that was rude.  I’m fine.  I’m feeling fine.”

Dr. Abrams tilts her head and sighs.  “Taehyung, we went through this the last time—“

“We did.  And it didn’t work the last time.”

“It didn’t work because you didn’t give it an appropriate chance.  This is a safe space.  A space where you can be honest.  Not only with me, but with yourself.  You don’t need to apologize for what you perceive as being rude.  I asked you how you were feeling, and you were honest.  That’s what I need.  Honesty about these emotions that are building up and taking control at the moment.  If they’re angry, bitter, rude, sarcastic, I want to hear them.  They aren’t wrong.  They’re all justified and valid.  You need to feel what you feel without thinking it’s wrong. Safe space, remember?”

Taehyung stares down at his hands again.  He’s always hated the idea of therapy.  But even Jungkook who hates everything and everyone seems to be open to therapy.  The least he can do is try to give a shot.

“I’m…not fine.  I mean today I guess I feel ok.  Not fine.  Not great.  Ok. Just ok.  My soulmate, Jungkook, he gave me this pretty scarf.  It made me feel nice.  I even put on makeup, but a part of me still feels like I’m playing dress up.  And the second I get home I take the scarf off, wash the makeup off and there I am again.  Taehyung, cancer patient.  It’s like I can’t get away from it.  I hate it.  I hate…myself lately.  Actually, if I’m being super honest, I’m angry.  Like all the damn time.  Even the littlest of things set me off lately.  I’m irritable and rude and I can hear myself say these horrible things to the people that I love who only want to help, and I hate myself for it.  It’s like I can’t help myself from saying them.”

“What are you so angry about? Tell me.”

“That I’m sick again.  That as much as I willed it to never happen again it did.  I’m angry at the fact that I found my soulmate and he made me waste time by not being with him due to a misunderstanding.  A misunderstanding caused by this fucking disease.  I’m angry that I feel sick all the time.  That I can’t just have a date night with my boyfriend without feeling nauseous or have sex with him without getting winded.  Without worrying him that he’ll hurt me.  I’m angry that I’m living on borrowed time with him and with Jin and Yoongi,” Taehyung balls his hands into fists digging his nails into his palms. “I’m angry that I feel like I’m never going to get better.  I’m angry that…I—think I’m going to die.  And I’m angry that I’m afraid at that realization,” Taehyung grimaces as he opens his palms and sees blood from his fingernails on his palms.

“I hate it.  I hate everything lately.  And sometimes I wish I did just die.  And that’s when I hate myself the most for wishing to just give up.  But I’m tired.  And I don’t mean physically, I mean emotionally spent.  Sometimes the anger and resentment gets so loud I can’t hear anything else.  It all becomes this jumbled loud mess in my head, and I wonder if any of what I’m doing is even worth it.”

Taehyung finally comes up for air.  He looks up and sees Dr. Abrams looking at him, schooled expression on her face. “And that Taehyung is what I’ve been waiting to hear from you.  Honesty. It’s about time.”

Taehyung releases a loud scoff. “Honesty? Really? It sounds like whining.  Like self-defeatist bullshit to me.”

“Why? You don’t think you’re allowed to feel angry about your situation? About what you have to go through?”

“Everyone around me is so positive.  My alpha, God, if you heard him.  And he’s not someone who was ever like this.  But lately he just exudes positive energy on me, and I wish I could return it, but it’s so hard.  I’m so incredibly grateful for the people in my life who love me and have patience with me, but I hate pretending that I’m fine.”

Dr. Abrams leans forward and waves a hand. “So, don’t.  Stop pretending.  I’m going to say it again. Taehyung, you’re allowed to feel what you feel.”

Taehyung looks down at the nail marks on his palms and painfully grimaces.  “All I think about lately is my mortality. And it just keeps bringing up all this resentment and anger. When you’re going through treatment, it’s hardcore, 24/7 cancer-time.  It’s taken up all of my life.  I had a job, friends. And I’ve had to give up everything again due to this thing.  This force that wants to destroy me.  And it’s not just me.  It’s Jin working extra shifts to cover our debt, Yoongi missing work, Jungkook! Even Jungkook has decided to “take a break” from boxing just as his career is skyrocketing and all because he thinks he needs to take care of me.”

“Taehyung, feelings of anger are common among cancer patients, and those feelings can crop up at any time. Anger is one of the first emotions that patients express upon being diagnosed, but it is also common for those who suffer relapses.”

Taehyung scoffs. “You know, I’ve been reading about cancer and the stages of grief.  And how even though everyone’s experience isn’t this linear constant experience, we all pretty much feel the same shit.  Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and ultimately acceptance.  But I feel like I went back and around again and settled heavily on that anger part.”

“Anger is a common stage of coping with a crisis,” replies Dr Abrams. “Anger evoked by a cancer diagnosis is no different from anger that arises in any other crisis, such as after the loss of a loved one. And although anger is commonly regarded as a negative emotion, it can have advantages for cancer patients. Some patients can take the anger and say, ‘I’m going to use this to fight back,’” Dr. Abrams says, “so it can be used in a constructive way. But how you handle it is what’s important.”

“You mean here, and in groups, right?” Taehyung says shaking his head.  “I hated those groups.  A room full of other people just like me.  A full-on pity party.”

“No, a room full of strong survivors some who are feeling just as angry as you are.  A place where you can process what you’re feeling without judgement. A place where you can feel accepted in those feelings because they are all feeling them too. For cancer patients to use anger to their advantage, they must first recognize and acknowledge it. Counseling sessions can provide a much-needed emotional outlet for cancer-related anger. They can help in understanding that your feelings are normal.”

“They don’t feel normal.  Nothing feels normal anymore,” Taehyung sadly laments.

“Patients who find themselves lashing out at loved ones or feeling isolated or depressed may be suppressing anger or simply not dealing with it appropriately. If you don’t give vent to these emotions as they occur,” Dr. Abrams says, “then they wind up being exposed in the wrong way or being directed at the wrong people for the wrong reasons. The key to avoiding pent-up anger is to express it in a safe, supportive environment,” she adds. “In the therapeutic setting, it’s helpful for patients to express their anger, so we know what’s going on and can figure out how to help.”

“I know this is shitty to say, but I feel so much loneliness and isolation and that’s not even the case! Everyone wants to be around me and help me as much as they can.  And all I want to do is be my old independent self.  It just makes me so fucking angry.”

Dr. Abrams puts it simply, “Emotions are your friends, not your enemies, so see them as a signal system that’s there for a reason. Some patients can take the anger and say, ‘I’m going to use this to fight back.’ It can be used in a constructive way. You need to see anger as a normal part of what you go through and not as something to be bottled up or repressed,” she says. “It’s not a bad emotion …it’s completely legitimate, and you’re entitled to it. In fact, if you’re not sometimes angry, fearful or sad that you have cancer, then there really is something wrong with you.”

“Well then there’s nothing wrong with me because I feel all of those things all the damn time,” Taehyung replies shaking his head.

Dr. Abrams sighs. “Taehyung, those so-called negative emotions are not the problem and expressing them in a supportive group atmosphere is an opportunity rather than a burden. I don’t tell my patients to come to the group because they’re going to live longer,” she says. “I tell them to come to the group because they’re going to live better. If they happen to live longer, that’s icing on the cake.”

“That’s horrible.  Really. How are you still practicing,” Taehyung jokes.

Dr. Abrams smiles. “Beats me.  Must be the bribes,” she jokes back. 

“Ok Doc.  You win.  I’ll do it your way this time.  I’ll keep regular sessions with you, and I’ll join the support group.  I want to do this fully for everyone I love and who loves me back.”

Dr. Abrams smiles widely.  “And for you Taehyung.  Do it most importantly for yourself.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung shivers pulling the hat down tighter around his head as he gets off the train at Downtown Crossing.  Yoongi extends his hand out behind him, and Taehyung takes it immediately allowing himself to be pulled into a secure arm around his waist as he’s guided through the station, up and out onto the chilly Boston streets.  It’s the afternoon on Christmas Eve and he’s not sure what possessed him to be convinced by Yoongi to come with him to finish up his Christmas shopping. Maybe it’s the fact that today he’s actually been feeling ok enough to leave the house without the car or maybe it’s the constant babying by both Jin and Jungkook lately at home that has him feeling slightly suffocated and needing to leave the house.

It sounds like he’s being ungrateful. He’s not.  He appreciates and adores both Jin and Jungkook for what they do for him, but it can be a little overwhelming especially when they’re both home.  He’s also not in the best headspace.  Christmas is tomorrow, arguably his favorite holiday, but he hasn’t felt much like celebrating or being in the holiday spirit. 

Since he started therapy and group sessions, his mood has improved slightly.  But there’s still moments where his mood is just…down.  Nothing seems to help it.  And when it hits lately it hits hard and it just so happens to have been exacerbated by the holidays.  He’s refused to decorate or celebrate like they have in the past.  Taehyung knows he’s being difficult, annoying, unappreciative even, but like Dr. Abrams has repeated to him over and over he can’t help feeling what he feels, and he’s done apologizing over it.

He’s not denying anyone else to celebrate.  He’s happy enough sitting in his room and reading and not having to interact.  Yes, he’s in that type of mood.  Which is what led to the massive fight with Jungkook last night. The fight that had him very rudely kicking the alpha out and back to his own apartment.

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

“Baby, when do you want to go get a tree?” asks Jungkook as he sits on Taehyung’s couch with Taehyung’s head on his lap as he softly strokes his face.  Taehyung looks up slightly frowning. 

“Tree? I already told you I didn’t want a tree.”

“At all? I thought you meant like so soon because they dry up so fast and die.”

“Sorta like me,” Taehyung answers, the bitterness seeping through his words.

“Taehyung—”

“I don’t want a tree in general.  Fake or otherwise.  Its December 23^rd, if I haven’t been fussed to get a tree before why would I care to get one now.  I told you Jungkook, just like I told Jin. I’m not celebrating Christmas this year.  I’m not saying you can’t, I’m saying I don’t want to be involved.” Taehyung lifts his head from Jungkook’s lap and moves to the farthest end of the couch, annoyed and nauseous from suddenly getting up so fast.

“But I thought we were going to get a tree and decorate the house.  Make cookies and all that weird shit people do during Christmas. Tae, why are you being so stubborn about this—”

“Stubborn?!” Taehyung angrily glares at Jungkook.  It takes absolutely nothing to set him off lately and this is the kind of nothing that really sets his blood boiling. “So now my wishes are stubbornness? What could I possibly expect from you though? My soulmate who has always been the picture of calm and understanding.”

Jungkook holds his hands up.  He knows where this is headed and he’s not doing this with Taehyung. “That’s not what I’m saying Tae.  Don’t start twisting my words around.  I just want to try to make this Christmas special for you, for us.”

“Well don’t! I didn’t ask you to.  In fact, I’ve very specifically asked you not to.  Why the fuck do you care anyway? This is what gets me about you constantly pushing me to celebrate stupid shit lately.  You didn’t give a fuck before,” Taehyung is fuming.  He’s been trying to work on these outbursts with Dr. Abrams in session.  Brainstorming and working on tangible ways to prevent them from happening, but that all seems to go out the window when he’s in the middle of the anger fueled situation and then he finds he can’t stop himself.  “For someone who never gave two flying fucks about me before, whether I lived or died, you’re going pretty overboard now.  But I guess that happens when your own survival is so dependent on me,” Taehyung spits out. 

“That’s not even remotely why I do anything I do with you or for you Taehyung.  And I better than anyone know how good it feels to unleash this kind of anger on someone when you’re feeling like this.  So go ahead.  If that’s what you have to do, go ahead.  But not even for a second am I going to let you accuse me of using you for my own survival because I’ve made peace with dying right along with you ages ago.  Maybe that’s why you’re so angry.  Maybe you haven’t.”

Taehyung’s mouth drops as he stares at Jungkook. “Get out! Get out and go home Jungkook! Leave me alone tonight!”

Jungkook lets out a frustrated sigh. “Fine.  Fine Tae.  I’ll leave.” Jungkook walks to the front door as Taehyung stands in the middle of the living room, arms crossed, glaring at the alpha.

“Just know that I love you, Princess.  No matter what you’re pretty little head is thinking.” Jungkook turns and walks out the door leaving Taehyung regretting every single thing he just very stupidly and impulsively said.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung reaches in his pocket and retrieves his phone.  No messages. He sighs, breath visible from the cold.  He shoves the phone back and looks up to see Yoongi staring at him.

“You could just call him.”

Taehyung snuggles close to Yoongi and shakes his head.  “I was a complete asshole to him.  He probably doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“You’re kidding right? That kid is so fucking whipped for you.  Sort of like you are with him.  Look at what a prick he was to you for so long and you kept forgiving him too.  Just call him.”

Taehyung shakes his head again.  “I can’t.  I have to think of a good way to make it up to him. I think my present will do it for sure.  I just—I need to think about how I’m going to say I’m sorry.  I was so mean,” pouts Taehyung. “But—God Yoongs it’s just, he was pushing about Christmas so bad.  About decorating and celebrating and blah blah blah. My mood is foul—“

“You don’t say,” says Yoongi sarcastically.

 “I’m back to the hospital again next week,” Taehyung says sadly.  “I—please don’t repeat this to anyone, but I don’t think it’s working Yoongi and I’m scared.  I just—I don’t feel much like celebrating.”

Yoongi looks into Taehyung’s eyes, and he can see the fear and apprehension.  “He takes his hand and pulls him into the nearest café. “Sit here,” Yoongi points to a comfy armchair and goes to place an order.  He comes back to sit in front of Taehyung and removes his coat.  “Now, tell me. What is this about you thinking it’s not working?”

Taehyung sighs as he also takes his coat off. “I don’t think it’s working.  This is supposed to be my last month of treatment.  Yoongi…my mouth was bleeding again a couple of days ago.  And I honestly feel weaker than I have.  And it’s not the chemoradiation.  I mean I have some good days right, like today where I feel like can walk and be relatively ok…but the truth is I’m feeling myself get weaker.  Not better. And this holiday…I was thinking I should go hard you know, celebrate it like there’s no tomorrow because I honestly don’t think there will be,” Yoongi gulps, “but then I think maybe if I just don’t celebrate it, don’t make it like it’s my last maybe then it won’t be.  Maybe I can manifest it or something.  And Jungkookie…he’s just so sweet, so caring. He’s wants desperately to lift my mood and make things special for me, but I just don’t have the heart to tell him that I think it’s hopeless. And so he pushes harder, and I pull back and he pushes even more and then I hit back with whatever my mouth ignites at the moment.  I feel horrible.”

“Tae—“

“And when I do end up saying something to him it’s something so mean.  I’m angry that he made me waste so much time by hating me over something I never did. It was time we could’ve spent together before we…” Taehyung looks down and closes his eyes.

“And now you’re wasting moments by thinking its hopeless.  You’re both idiots if you ask me.”

“Thanks,” says Taehyung as the waitress brings their order.  Taehyung grips the warm latte and brings it to his lips sipping it and letting it warm every inch of him.

“He wants to make this special for you because he loves you. Because as hopeless as it feels for you it feels the opposite for him.  He feels full of hope that you’re going to beat this thing…and so am I,” Yoongi says reaching over to take Taehyung’s hand. “I pray every day that you’ll be ok.  That you and I will live out the rest of our lives as Biff and Sully.”

“Did you just throw a Sesame Street reference at me with an actual straight face?” laughs Taehyung.

“I did.  But I already told you, Sully.  You can’t leave me.  You’re the Patsy to my Edina, the Abed to my Troy, the Cory to my Shawn—“

“Fuck that Yoongi, I’m 100% Shawn Hunter and you know it,” Taehyung says pouting.

“You wish,” smirks Yoongi.

Taehyung laughs and hears his phone ding.  He pulls it out and reads the text and smiles. 

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Yoongi asks.

“It is.  Come on Yoongi, let’s hurry and drink these.  “I have an alpha to apologize to.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung exits the Uber feeling exhausted.  It always feels nice to leave the house until it suddenly doesn’t, and he’s once again reminded of how sick he really is. He looks up to his front door and gasps. 

“Oh m--my God!” he stutters out.  He turns to look at Yoongi who is smiling from ear to ear. “Wait a second…was this planned? You knew about this didn’t you?” Yoongi nods and smiles a huge gummy smile. “Was today just a way of getting me out of the house? Wait…was this…” Taehyung turns and bursts through the door and what he sees has him crying tears of absolute joy.  He knows he said he didn’t want to celebrate Christmas.  That he didn’t want to decorate but seeing his house now…he’s glad and forever grateful he chose the alpha and soulmate he did.

“Jungkookie!” he yells and sees Jungkook peek his head from around the kitchen corner.

“Princess? What the fuck?! I told Yoongi to call me before you came in! I wanted to surprise you!” Jungkook says clearly disappointed his surprise was ruined.  Taehyung runs and throws himself into Jungkook’s arms, burying his face in his shoulder.

“Silly alpha.  My silly, wonderful, loving alpha,” Taehyung says pulling back and cupping Jungkook’s face. “I’m sorry, Jungkookie.  I’m sorry for being so mean and for saying such hurtful things to you.  I’m sorry for the last couple of months and how shitty my behavior has been.  I’m sorry—”

“Hey, hey, stop.  Tae, you don’t need to apologize.  I used to be equally as bad, if not worse to you.  You forgave me, right? There’s nothing to apologize for.  I get where this anger comes from.  Mine isn’t for the same reason, but I know why it manifests and why it feels so good to release it.  And I also know you don’t mean the things you say and that you’re trying to change the way you let it out in therapy.  And I also know you said you didn’t want to celebrate.  But—”

Yoongi comes in and stands smiling widely at the couple.  “Don’t mind me.  I’m just happy you two morons are talking again.  It must be a Christmas miracle,” Yoongi says winking at Jungkook.  “You two better kiss and make up properly and I don’t want you fighting again after I leave.”

Taehyung furrows his brows. “Leave? To where?”

“Tae, it’s Christmas Eve.  I’ll be at my parents.”

Taehyung face palms and closes his eyes. “I totally forgot! But hey…that’s not fair.  I go with you every year.  You’re just going to leave without me?” Taehyung whines.

“Jin has Joon this year.  They’re off doing their thing and,” Yoongi walks up to Taehyung and kisses him on the forehead, “you have your soulmate.  I figured you would want to start a yearly tradition with him.  Besides, we always spend Christmas day together.  Jin said he’ll be back tomorrow morning with Joon, and we can have our annual breakfast and open presents.  It’s time you start building new memories Tae.  With your alpha.” Yoongi smiles and gives Taehyung a hug who hugs him tightly back.

“Thank you,” Taehyung whispers.

“You hold on, Tae.  You keep fighting and hold on.  We’ll have a lot more Christmas Eves to spend together,” Yoongi whispers as he pulls back.  Taehyung nods.

“Take care of Sully for me tonight, Jungkook.”

Jungkook raises his brows in confusion, “Sully?”

Taehyung laughs and waves Yoongi off as he leaves. Jungkook takes his hand and pulls him close.  “Listen, I know you didn’t want to do this tonight.  This year. But Tae, this is our first Christmas celebrating together.  And as a real couple.  I wanted it to be special.  And not because I think it’s our first and last one, but because I think it’s the first of many.”

“And what if I think it is the first and last…” Taehyung says trailing off as he looks around his house fully decorated for the holiday.  He looks back at Jungkook who has tears in his eyes. 

“Then we are going to make this the best Christmas ever…even though I think you’re wrong.  Either way I want it to be special.  I made us dinner.  And then we’re going to watch whichever cheesy Christmas movie you want to see and then—”

Taehyung grips Jungkook tightly, “And then?”

“And then whatever you want Baby.  You decide,” Jungkook says as Taehyung crashes his lips onto his. He kisses him with so much intensity Jungkook pulls back, shocked.

“I love—”

“Don’t you dare Taehyung! Don’t you fucking dare! We had an agreement—”

“Please…please just let me say it.  Just this once.  Please…in case I don’t get the chance to say it again—”

Jungkook puts his hands on Taehyung’s shoulders and kisses his lips softly. “When you’re healthy Baby.  Only then.  Don’t worry.  I have all the faith in the world, it’ll happen soon.” Taehyung looks deep into Jungkook’s large loving eyes and can see he’s being truthful.  He hopes he can fulfill that wish for him soon.

“You hungry? Want to try to eat something?” Jungkook asks. Taehyung nods, happily following Jungkook to the kitchen.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung stands in front of the huge Christmas tree staring at the sparkling lights.  He breaths in the scent of the fresh tree and exhales happily.  He smiles when he inhales a different more calming, familiar scent as he feels strong arms wrap around him from behind.  Jungkook nuzzles into his neck and kisses him.  “You smell so good, Princess.  I haven’t smelled apple pie this freshly baked in a while.” Taehyung playfully elbows Jungkook. “I’m serious.  Your scent lately is always slightly off, a little burnt.” Jungkook turns a pouting Taehyung around instantly kissing it away. “But I get why.  You’re in a faraway place Tae that as much as I try to understand and reach it sometimes, I just can’t. But I swear to you I’m trying, and I’ll keep trying for as long as I need to.  But smelling how your scent is now, how happy you seem to be in this moment…it makes all the hard stuff worth it.  These little moments of happiness that I can give you, it’s honestly all I strive for.”

Taehyung leans his head on Jungkook’s shoulder.  Jungkook is right.  He’s happy.  The happiest he’s been in a really long time.  It’s strange how something as simple as Christmas decorations could do for uplifting his mood. 

“I have another surprise for you,” Jungkook whispers.  “Come on,” he says taking Taehyung’s hand pulling him to his bedroom.  He stands Taehyung in front of his bedroom door but doesn’t open it.  Jungkook suddenly wraps his arms around Taehyung caging him in his strong hold. Taehyung breathes in the strong smell of vanilla ice cream and relaxes instantly in his arms. “I love you Tae.  I need you to know how loved you are by me.”

And in that moment, Taehyung does feel it.  He feels very loved, adored, cherished in his alpha’s arms. He looks up, gaze locking onto Jungkook’s.  Taehyung smiles at Jungkook and its intoxicating.  Jungkook knows that smile can make him start and end wars.  His eyes roam all over Taehyung’s face.  “You are so beautiful.  So fucking perfect,” he says settling his eyes on Taehyung’s lips that look so inviting. He leans in slightly as Taehyung does as well.  Jungkook suddenly stops and points up.  Taehyung frowns and follows his gaze.  Taehyung bursts out laughing as he sees the beautifully wrapped bundle of mistletoe hanging above his door with a sign that reads ‘Kiss me.”

Jungkook giggles. “So?” he asks smirking.

“Come here, alpha,” Taehyung says placing his long fingers on the back of Jungkook’s neck pulling him in capturing his lips into a passionate kiss.  Jungkook quickly reacts to the kiss, cupping his face and kissing him back with equal intensity, both moaning as the kiss becomes more raw with need.  Taehyung pulls back and breaks the kiss.  Both their lips red and breathless.

“Remember when you said I could decide what we should do after dinner, after the movie?”

Jungkook nods.

“I want you to do me, alpha.  Think you could do that? Think I could have an early Christmas present?”

Jungkook feels the blood rush to his head, no pun intended.  He feels shivers run throughout his whole body. “I can.  I can do that.”

“But—I need you to treat me like I’m your omega Jungkook.  Not some cancer patient.  Your omega and just that.  Please, for tonight, can you do that for me?” Taehyung asks, eyes pleading.

Jungkook leans in and kisses his lips.  “I can do that Princess.  Your wish is my command tonight and every night.”

Taehyung smiles and opens his bedroom door and for the second time tonight he is floored and left speechless.  “What in the world…Jungkookie!”

“I actually forgot I did this,” Jungkook replies snorting as he looks at Taehyung’s bed.  “You sort of make me lose my senses and my mind with how sexy you are Baby.” Taehyung swats at his arm and enters his beautifully decorated room for Christmas.  It smells like a Christmas village.  Pine and cinnamon invade his nose, but nothing stands out as much as the strong scent of vanilla coming from the alpha who is looking at him like he’s ready to devour him. “You really want me to treat you like my omega…my omega who isn’t sick?  My omega who I want nothing more than to wreck and leave begging and screaming my name,” Jungkook says walking towards Taehyung.

And for a split-second Taehyung hesitates because as much as he likes to pretend he’s not sick, he most certainly is and has been feeling far sicker recently. And watching Jungkook stalk towards him like this makes him wonder if he made a huge mistake unleashing this beast.  He takes a deep breath and exhales.  He confidently nods.  Taehyung holds his hand out for Jungkook who doesn’t waste any time taking it.  Taehyung slowly turns him around and pushes him and shoves Jungkook back onto his bed, clambering over Jungkook and straddling him.

Taehyung quickly removes his shirt as he then pins Jungkook down making sure he isn’t moving anywhere. Jungkook gasps and lifts his hands to Taehyung’s waist, hooking his thumbs in the band of his pants, sliding his fingers underneath it and dragging them and the underwear beneath them down. Taehyung lifted his hips to facilitate, prompting Jungkook to be more aggressive in his removal. Taehyung kicked himself free as he unbuttoned Jungkook and shoved his jeans somewhere down around his knees, not seeming to care that they weren’t entirely dealt with—Taehyung had what he wanted at the moment. If Jungkook was effectively bound, all the better.

Taehyung was flushed and breathing heavily, panting. His eyes were sharp and wild. Jungkook looked up at him with a touch of shocked wonder. Taehyung surveyed Jungkook’s cock and licked his lips, absentmindedly, as he took it in his hand, curling his fingers around it and squeezing. Jungkook’s hips jerked off the bed.

“Mine,” Taehyung hissed, jerking Jungkook’s cock, making Jungkook moan loudly. Suddenly and without any warning Taehyung bent his head and licked Jungkook’s cock quickly taking the whole thing in his mouth, right down until he was gagging. He bopped expertly up and down and Jungkook swears he lost all vision, only seeing black splotches and stars having to shut his eyes as he gripped the sheets. Taehyung just as suddenly slid back and sat up making Jungkook snap his eyes open and whine at the loss of those lips on him.  Taehyung pins Jungkook’s wrists with his hands, as he lifted himself up and reached around to line Jungkook’s cock with his entrance.  He dropped boldly down on Jungkook’s cock in one swift movement, the overabundance of slick facilitating the size of the alpha. Even though Taehyung is an omega, highly aroused and body prepared for this, he still goes rigid and still for a moment, adjusting to the alpha’s cock. Jungkook runs his hands over Taehyung’s back and ass, then brought a soothing thumb to Taehyung’s own cock, rubbing his thumb over the top, trying not to think too hard at present about Taehyung’s warm, wet, tight ass and how he was deliciously, torturously clenched in it.

Taehyung’s eyes closed under Jungkook’s ministrations, and when he opened them again, he shifted his hips, testing the parameters of his situation, the weight and the fullness. A touch of smug satisfaction flitted across Taehyung’s face at seeing his big strong alpha being held down by him like this. 

Jungkook shifted his hips, raising an eyebrow in challenge. Taehyung’s breath caught, but then he glared at Jungkook, and started to move with decision. He bounced on Jungkook with determination, and after a few repetitions the slide and drag of it had him making small noises. He began to move faster, and with greater enthusiasm. And then he was rapid and frantic, desperate, slamming down hard on Jungkook, but at the same time letting Jungkook help him, letting him clutch greedily at his hips and ass, shoving Taehyung down onto him, manipulating him like a toy.

Taehyung babbled as he fucked himself, gasping, “Mine, you’re mine” at intervals, in time with his repetitive movements. Jungkook, as much as he was enjoying this, needed to be rational and he knew what he promised Taehyung, but he also knows Taehyung’s limits with how sick he’s been.

“Princess, let me help you, let me—” Jungkook says as he trails off placing a hand on Taehyung’s cock as he jerked him off.  Taehyung threw his head back as he came with a “Jungkook,” rolling off his tongue.

Jungkook pulled Taehyung off him and shoved him down on the bed, face-first. He stood and pulled Taehyung to him, pushing his head into a pillow and casting his hips higher.

“Now, where were we?” Jungkook grunted, properly removing himself of his jeans, needing to get off himself. He thrust back into Taehyung and was rewarded with a gasp—and then several more. There was something decadent and irresistible about fucking someone you’d just made come. The tremors, the over-stimulation, the overabundance of slick, and the glutinous possession of it.

“Too much?” he asked, and Taehyung tilted his head on the pillow shaking his head slightly unable to form any words.

“No,” Jungkook said, watching the little he could see of Taehyung’s face, “you love it, don’t you? When it’s excessive. When it’s too much to bear. You take pride in handling it.”

Taehyung made a small noise and twitched under him like a plucked string. “And you like being talked to,” Jungkook said with a growl. “And you love being fucked.” Taehyung shuddered in answer, squirmed, and Jungkook dragged Taehyung’s hips back into place and pinned them with his hands, pounding hard, fucking Taehyung harder than he’d dared fuck anyone ever.

Taehyung screamed for it, seeming to ask him if that was all he had, lifting his hips for more, pushing up into the hands that were leaving bruises on his hips. “Alpha…I want your knot,” Taehyung moaned, twisting on Jungkook’s cock. “I need it, please, I—”

Jungkook struggled for composure. Taehyung begging for his knot was sending shivers down his spine. Jungkook stroked a hand down Taehyung’s back, pausing in his thrusts.

“Shh. It’s all right. It’s yours, it is. I’m going to give it to you.” Taehyung twitched beneath him, as Jungkook continued to soothe. “I am. I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you Baby.  You and I are going to be doing this for a very long time.  For the rest of our long happy lives together.” Jungkook turned to see Taehyung’s face partially hidden by the pillow that now wore an expression of panic.

“Tae, Baby, when I said you could not do treatment, that it was your decision—” Jungkook began carefully, feeling Taehyung’s muscles tense, his eyes looking over his shoulder, back at Jungkook, wide and a little frightened, “I lied. You can’t ever leave me, Taehyung. I’ll never let you go.”

Taehyung stayed silent, but his breath caught, and his eyes went dark. Encouraged, Jungkook continued. “I’m never leaving you.  And you aren’t leaving me.  You and are bound to each other.  Through the strongest of bonds and the strongest of love Tae. And don’t be afraid if you have to take that last breath, I’ll be right there with you.” Taehyung made a soft sound like a moan, and Jungkook decided to put it all out. “I need you, depend on you completely. I cherish you. You’re mine. I love you.”

He slid his hand into Taehyung’s and Taehyung held it as if his life depended on it. He clenched himself around Jungkook’s cock, making Jungkook growl loudly. Though he’d been trying to pace himself so as not to hurt Taehyung, his control slipped, thrusting his knot as it expanded, earning a ragged gasp from Taehyung.

“Oh yes. Please,” Taehyung said, “please, just—”

Jungkook gulped, “I have to admit, I do like the begging. You’re mine, aren’t you, Princess? Say it.”

Taehyung shoved himself back hard against Jungkook, making Jungkook hiss and dig his fingers into the sides of Taehyung’s ass.

“Yes. You know I am, you—Come on,” Taehyung babbled, talking half to himself, half to Jungkook. “Take me, that’s—”

Jungkook started to fuck him with conviction again, and Taehyung shuddered each time he felt the knot pop in and out of him, thick and hard and swelling. “That’s it, come on, come on, Jungkook, Jungkook—”

Taehyung let out a loud scream as the knot locked itself in him just as Jungkook came making Taehyung clench around him with a wrecked, thready moan.

Jungkook easily reached around and started to stroke Taehyung’s cock. Taehyung flinched with over-stimulation, but Jungkook whispered, “I’ve got you. You can do this for me, can’t you? You’ll take it for me.” Taehyung nodded and, with a few strokes of Jungkook’s hand, came again with a delicious little whimper. Then he slumped down flat on the bed, his exhausted, trembling, protesting legs sliding out from under him. Jungkook dropped down over him, supporting himself on his elbows.

Taehyung shifted under him, making Jungkook catch his breath. He was still locked, hard, in Taehyung, whose body was still writhing under him. Having Taehyung lax and yielding like this made Jungkook want to fuck him again and again, until all the tension slipped from Taehyung’s muscles, and he finally felt safe enough, replete enough, happy enough. Taehyung experimentally clenched around Jungkook, making his own breath shudder and Jungkook groan. Jungkook looked down and wondered how he ever managed to get this lucky.  How someone this beautiful could be his. He looks down at Taehyung’s pristine smooth long neck. What would it feel like to sink his teeth into that tan skin, working deep into the flesh. He startled a little, realizing what he was fantasizing about, but now that he’d begun, he couldn’t stop. He leaned down and licked Taehyung’s neck, letting his teeth graze it lightly.

“Do it,” Taehyung murmured, very quietly. Jungkook stilled. Taehyung repeated himself, giving Jungkook better access to his neck. “Why prolong the inevitable—Jungkookie, I want you to. Go on.”

“You can’t mean that,” Jungkook said despite himself, shocked.

Taehyung looked confused, worried again. “It’s what I want. Is it not what you want?” Jungkook looked into Taehyung’s face, speechless.

“I do. I want it more than anything.”

“Then…make me yours,” Taehyung said, tone half enticement, half command.

“Are you sure Tae?”

“Positive,” Taehyung replied, smiling happily as Jungkook senses started to cloud with the smell of apple pie.  Fresh apple pie.  Taehyung wrapped his arms around the alpha’s neck and pulled him down engulfing him in a kiss.  Jungkook started to rock slowly, pressing his knot further and deeper each time. Breathing heavily, he looked down to see Taehyung’s eyes closed, his lips parted, and pleasure written across his features. Laying a light hand on Jungkook’s chest, he thrust up eliciting a long loud moan from the alpha.

“God, Taehyung,” Jungkook said hoarsely, making  the omega smile. Taehyung repeated the action, falling into a steady rhythm that left them both panting hard. Jungkook’s hands were on his hips, fingers flexing.

“How does that feel?” Jungkook breathed, and Taehyung moaned in response. Jungkook reached up and cupped Taehyung’s cheek with a shaky hand as he thrust into his omega, his soulmate.

“Ah, go a little slower,” Taehyung murmured and Jungkook responded immediately, slowing his pace until he was making Taehyung’s breath hitch with every stroke. Jungkook leaned down and licked at Taehyung’s neck as he started thrusting faster into him. Taehyung tilted his head to the side, offering himself up to Jungkook. There’s a moment of hesitation on Jungkook’s part, and for a few moments, Taehyung is afraid that he won’t actually do it. But then Jungkook growls, deep and desperate, sending chills down Taehyung’s spine. When the omega seemed to be getting close, he clenched his muscles around Jungkook’s cock sending Jungkook over the edge. He can feel his teeth retracting and he leans in and sinks his teeth into Taehyung’s neck, just above his shoulder blade. And that’s when the world goes black for the both of them.  They both feel it, the bond becoming even stronger than before, something they didn’t think possible.  They both are flooded with memories of that night in Glen Park, holding hands.

Taehyung yelps, a quick reaction to the pain as he shudders, clawing at Jungkook’s back. And then he’s coming, his head full of static, aware of nothing but Jungkook’s scent and his rough tongue lapping at his neck. Taehyung goes boneless, whimpering softly with each of Jungkook’s punishing thrusts. It’s not long before Jungkook comes too, breathing words in Taehyung’s ear that he can’t seem to make out right now.

Jungkook kisses Taehyung softly and waits for him to blink his eyes open, smiling fondly at him when he finally does.  “Hi Princess,” he says kissing the tip of Taehyung’s nose.

“Hi Jungkookie,” Taehyung replies, giggling. 

Jungkook wraps his arms around Taehyung holding him close, the knot still attached and probably would be for a while. “Please tell me you’re feeling ok.  Please tell me I didn’t overdo it.” Jungkook asks worriedly.

“Jungkookie, I’m fine. Tired, exhausted actually, but happy.  I’m happy.  We’re mated and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.  And…I’m not giving up Jungkook.  Just so you know.  I—promise I’ll fight this with everything I’ve got.  You won’t lose me because I’m not willing to lose you.”

Jungkook smiles brightly and leans down to give his omega’s newly fresh mating mark a kiss.  Taehyung shivers.

“Merry Christmas Tae.”

“Merry Christmas Jungkookie.”

Chapter Text

Taehyung sits on the stool Jungkook set up for him at the kitchen counter.  He watches Jungkook move from one part of the kitchen to the next. One second, he’s pulling out ingredients from the fridge and the next he’s flipping pancakes. Taehyung smiles affectionately and sighs.  He tries to get off the stool, but as he does, he feels his knees shake and his head spin.  He glances at Jungkook who is too busy at the stove to notice.

Taehyung quickly sits back down and holds his hand against his forehead.  He doesn’t want to admit Jungkook was right.  Last night was too much for him and his body.  He’s been feeling weak and shaky all morning.  The nausea and the dizziness only subsiding if he keeps his head perfectly still, which is not an option especially on Christmas morning.  As if on cue, Jungkook rubs at his temples and spins around walking to Taehyung making him sit up straight trying to act like he’s perfectly fine.

Jungkook scrunches his nose and leans down into Taehyung’s face.  “I can smell you.  How is it you always seem to forget that? Plus…I’m not sure if it’s the mating bond or what, but I can feel your distress more.  You aren’t feeling well,” he says worried.  This is exactly what Taehyung wanted to avoid.  For Jungkook to feel guilty about how he feels after last night.  It was Taehyung’s decision to go a lot harder than he probably should have and he doesn’t want Jungkook thinking he’s responsible for how he’s feeling right now.

Jungkook places a hand on the back of Taehyung’s neck, rubbing gently.  “You aren’t ok, right?”

Taehyung closes his eyes and sighs. “When are you going to teach me that thing you do with your scent? How you control it? It’s really not fair you can do that, and I can’t.  You’re able to hide your emotions better than me. My scent makes me an open book constantly betraying my emotions.”

“Well now I’m really not going to teach you if you’re just going to use it for evil,” jokes Jungkook. He leans down and runs a finger on Taehyung’s fresh mating mark. “Besides, like I said.  This new bond of ours, I can…feel you more.  I can feel you aren’t feeling well. I knew we shouldn’t—”

Taehyung grips Jungkook’s wrist and angrily shakes it. “Don’t. Don’t you dare take any of what happened last night back.  Don’t treat it like a mistake.  Please.  I can take a lot lately, but I really won’t be able to handle you telling me last night was a mistake.”

Jungkook smiles as he adjusts the beanie on Taehyung’s head. “I could never think that.  I do however think we should have been maybe…less intense.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, “Vanilla sex? Give me a fucking break.”

“Hey!” Jungkook says placing an offending hand on his chest. “There is nothing wrong with vanilla sex. We’ve had plenty of that and if my memory serves me correctly you were never one to complain.  In fact, that sex that you seem to be implying was boring had you screaming my name—”

“Morning!”

Taehyung turns to the sounds in the hallway and smiles.  He can smell Yoongi’s moms freshly baked cranberry orange muffins.  He jumps up from the stool as the world blackens around him.  He feels Jungkook hurriedly take his arm steadying him.  “Baby—”

“It’s ok.  I’ll be ok.  It’s Christmas, Jungkookie.  It’s Christmas and the rest of the people we love are here.  Let’s just enjoy the day and pretend.  Even for one day let’s pretend like I’m not sick.  Just one day to imagine what it might be like to celebrate without any other worries.” Taehyung intertwines his fingers with Jungkook’s.  “We can pretend, can’t we?  For just one day?”

Jungkook bites his lip and lets out a puff of air. How does he tell Taehyung he already is pretending? He can feel it.  The pain Taehyung is in.  That tightness in his chest feeling even heavier this morning.  He’s been trying to ignore it since they mated last night.  All the hope he was feeling with Taehyung’s recovery is slowly evaporating with every dull ache he feels.  It’s like he’s been slapped in the face by everything Taehyung has been saying to him about it not working because since the mating bond he’s come to a terrifying realization…

Taehyung is dying.

“Jungkook?” Taehyung says, looking worriedly at Jungkook.

Jungkook takes another deep breath.  He’s never been happier knowing he can control his scent. “Yes, yes Baby.  We can celebrate today without all the other noise.  We both deserve it don’t you think?” Jungkook places his hand on the small of Taehyung’s back and pulls him in. “I love you,” he says as he kisses Taehyung.

Taehyung smiles into the kiss.  “I can’t wait to tell you it back next month.”

Jungkook tenses and forces a smile. “Me too Princess.  Me too.”

“There you too are! Ugh, think you can separate your horny asses off from each other to help us with all the stuff we brought,” Yoongi says smirking as he stands in the entrance to the kitchen. Taehyung giggles as Jungkook helps him stay steady on his feet towards Yoongi.

Yoongi’s eyes drop and focus in on Taehyung’s neck.  His smile instantly turns into a frown as he looks from Taehyung to Jungkook. “You have got to be kidding me.”

Taehyung instinctively raises his hand and touches his mark.

“Jin is going to kill you,” Yoongi says to Taehyung, “Then he’s going to kill you,” he says turning to look at Jungkook. “This should be interesting.  Merry fucking Christmas! Thank God, I brought whiskey,” Yoongi says shaking his head as he heads out into the living room.

Taehyung turns to look at Jungkook who looks pale. “Jungkook—”

“No offense Baby but fuck your uncle.  We’re adults.  He better not come at me with some bullshit about how we’re too young and should have waited cause I swear Taehyung—”

Taehyung turns and cups Jungkook’s face. “Jungkookie, breathe.  Breathe, Love.  Don’t worry about it.  And be nice.  Remember, today is about celebrating.  Neither one of us are going to be assholes today. Come on,” Taehyung says pulling Jungkook out into the living room where he is immediately swept off his feet by Jin who lifts him up in a massive hug.

“Merry Christmas Taehyungie!” Jin says happily as he sets Taehyung down.  Taehyung can’t help laughing as he’s swept into another hug by strong arms.

“Hi, Joon,” he mumbles into Namjoon’s chest.

“Merry Christmas Tae!”

“What the fuck are we? Helloooo it’s our turn now. Move Joon!” Jimin chides as he shoves Namjoon out of the way pulling Taehyung into a hug as Hobi runs up to them putting his arms around them both.

Taehyung giggles within the group hug and lets himself be wrapped in warmth by Jimin and Hobi. 

“I exist you ungrateful group of losers,” Jungkook says glaring at everyone.

Jimin pulls back from the hug and snorts. “Charming as always Jungkook.  Get over here you little shit.” They all walk towards Jungkook and engulf him in a massive group hug as Taehyung stands to the side next to Yoongi.  Jin glances over smiling.  He happens to look down at that spot right above Taehyung’s shoulder blade and his mouth drops.

“Jungkook! What the fuck did you do to my nephew?!” Jin yells as Taehyung jumps and freezes.  He turns and looks at Jungkook who breaks out of his group hug and moves quickly towards Taehyung protectively placing his hand on his back.

“Look Jin, I know what you’re going to say, but we’re adults.  And frankly it was no one’s decision but our own.  No one should be involved in our choice.” Jungkook stands up straight and pulls Taehyung closer to him holding him tightly by the waist. Taehyung nods, defiantly staring back at Jin.

The whole room’s atmosphere changes in the blink of any eye.  One second everyone is happily greeting each other and the next the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife.  Everyone’s eyes fall on Taehyung and his fresh mating mark.  Taehyung proudly cranes his neck.  He’s not going to hide it. He regrets a lot of things he says and does lately, but mating with Jungkook will never be one of them. 

“Taehyung, bedroom now!” Jin angrily says.

“I’ll talk to you, but Jungkook comes with me.  He’s my soul mate and now officially my mate so he comes too.”

Jin glares at Jungkook and angrily nods his head. “Fine,” he mumbles as he leads both Jungkook and Taehyung to his bedroom and slams the door behind them.

“Jin—” Taehyung starts…

“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU BOTH THINKING?! ARE YOU TWO CRAZY?! MATING THIS SOON!” Jin yells angrily, hands flailing in the air.

Taehyung weakly shuffles his feet to Jin’s bed and plops down on it.  Jungkook quickly stands by his side putting an arm around him as Taehyung tiredly leans against him resting his head against Jungkook.

“Jin…we’ll talk, but you need to calm down.  Please.  My head hurts and I really can’t take the yelling.” Jungkook looks down and sees Taehyung grimace in pain as he himself ignores the dull pain that has settled right between the bridge of his nose.

Jin frowns and is instantly filled with guilt.  He takes a deep breath then another trying to refocus his thoughts and regulate his feelings.  He’s angry.  Beyond upset, but he is not going to let this in turn upset his nephew and make him feel worse than he already does.  He’s felt that anger too much lately manifest from Taehyung and tonight was the first time in a long time he saw a genuine smile on him.

“I know you’re upset—”

“Taehyung—”

“Please…just let us explain. I mean I can’t speak for Jungkook, but I do want to explain to you why.”

Jin nods and stands arms crossed in front of the couple. 

“First of all, you can’t blame Jungkook.  I was the one who brought it up and suggested it.” Jungkook goes to say something but is stopped by Taehyung who takes his hand and pulls him down to sit next to him on the bed. “I don’t think I have to tell you that what Jungkook and I share you nor anyone else will ever understand unless you’re part of the kind of bond we are linked by.  What I feel for him is indescribable and I honestly didn’t think that could ever get stronger… until I was diagnosed again.  Jungkook looks at Taehyung and raises a brow. Taehyung cups his cheeks and smiles.

“Something in our relationship changed during that first hospital stay.  I think for me, it was the first time I really saw you as not someone who was necessarily tied to me through this bond, but as my mate.  My partner in crime.  My everything.  And that has become abundantly clear as each excruciating day goes by.”

Taehyung turns and looks at Jin. “He’s never once wavered.  His support, his never-ending optimism…his love, they’ve never diminished.  He’s never left me.  He’s by my side at all moments of the day.  Gave up his dream to take care of me.  That Jin, is love.  It’s devotion that I’ve only seen once in my life, and I will never once take it for granted.” Taehyung feels Jungkook squeeze him tightly as he pulls him closer.

“I know I’ve said some really shitty things to you,” Taehyung says turning his attention back to Jungkook. “I even questioned your love and motivation for sticking around with me for so long.  And for that I’m sorry, because I never meant any of it.  I know deep down what you feel for me because it’s the same thing I feel for you.  And I know, save it for when I’m healthy. So, I’ll tell you that what I feel for you is just as intense as what you feel for me. Mom told me once that I would find my soul mate and when I did no matter what I needed to make sure of 3 things.”

“What 3 things?” Jin asks.

Taehyung sighs and rubs at his temples.  “She said that regardless of who my soulmate turned out to be I should only trust the person who can see these three things in me: the sorrow behind my smile, the love behind my anger, and the reason for my silence…and I found the person who sees all those things and then some.  My other half.  So please, tell me why I should wait to make that bond stronger? Why should we wait to mate and be one when we already are.  Why wait…when I’m living on borrowed time Jin.  You know it and I know it.  Why? Why make me wait when I know there is no one else who can love me like he can.”

Jungkook exhales shakily.  He chokes back a sob as his hands start to shake.  Taehyung turns and holds his hands tightly in his offering a supportive smile. Taehyung turns back to Jin when he hears a muffled sob escape from him.

Jin removes his hand from his mouth and shakes his head. “Y—you don’t know the repercussions of this.  Of mating with a bond like yours.  What it could do—”

“I’m dying of cancer Jin; how much worse could it get? My parents were mated.”

“After years of being together,” Jin points out.

Taehyung chuckles.  “Only because they didn’t have the guts to do what we did and bite the bullet.  I don’t want to wait to live my life…what I have left of it.  I’ve realized that rather than spend our energy angry over this unfair situation of ours, we should instead focus on our time together, however long or short that may be. At this point why be angry? It really doesn’t change anything that’s happened or will happen.  If I spend my time angry and frustrated, down and negative, all it’s going to do is take away my time from Jungkook, from all of you.  I don’t want to let that happen anymore.  This fucking disease has taken so much from me already. I refuse to give up anything else.”

Jungkook looks up to stare at Taehyung’s profile.  He feels that ache in his chest, punching and punching like he’s in the middle of a match tied up against the ropes, unable to free himself and move.  He closes his eyes and takes controlled breaths.

“I can understand you think we moved too fast.  That perhaps we were reckless in our decision.  That we don’t understand what this could mean for us but frankly I just don’t care about any of those things.  And you want to know why? Because I found someone who isn’t afraid to admit they miss me. Someone that knows I’m not perfect, but still treats me like I am everyday.  Someone who can’t imagine losing me and yet is ready to be by my side when it happens.” Taehyung locks his gaze with Jungkook’s. “Someone who gave me their heart completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. And last, but not least, someone who doesn’t mind waking up to me in the morning, seeing my thin frail body and my hairless head, but still falls in love with me over and over again.”

Jungkook can’t hold back tears as they drop down his cheeks. Taehyung reaches up and dries his eyes with his sleeve. “And that’s why.  And for one very important reason that I’ll be sure to tell you soon…I hope.  But either way, I’m pretty sure you already know.”

“I don’t regret becoming Jungkook’s mate last night.  I’ll never regret that.  I’ll proudly show off my mark until I take my last breath.  I’m sorry Jin, but I can’t be upset about this.  I’m happy.  The happiest I’ve been in months.  And today is Christmas and I’m surrounded by everyone I love.  And you’re allowed to be angry and believe what you want about this, but I hope we can enjoy today.  Enjoy the food, the company, the presents, and just be in the moment.  Moments are sort of fleeting lately so I want to try to hold on to as many as I can,” Taehyung says looking down at Jungkook’s hands as he squeezes them tightly again.

Jungkook instantly wraps his arms around Taehyung.  He never wants to let him go. He wants to stay as positive as he’s been, but this pain…this feeling…

Jin wipes furiously at his eyes.  He silently walks to stand in front of Taehyung and Jungkook.  He leans down and wraps them both in his embrace.  “Please…please take care of each other.  I—just please-- I love you and I need you both to take care of one another.”

“We will Jin…we are,” replies Taehyung.

Jin pulls back and rubs at his eyes again.  “Then I guess congratulations are in order. Welcome to the family Jungkook,” Jin says.  Jungkook gets up and nods extending his hand out.  Jin swats it away and gives Jungkook a hug.  “I’m sorry for my outburst.  But—I want to turn this day around and live in the moment like you said Taehyungie.  So let’s go out and have breakfast.”

Taehyung nods enthusiastically as he slowly and shakily rises from Jin’s bed.  Jungkook holds him by the arm and stops.  “Jin,” he places Taehyung’s hand in Jin’s. “Baby, you go with Jin, I just need to use the bathroom for a sec.”

Taehyung frowns and sniffs.  Nothing.  Jungkook’s scent seems fine.  “Are you ok?”

Jungkook gives him a small smile and nods. “Perfectly fine.  You go ahead and don’t be eating all those muffins! I want to get to try one and I saw how you were eyeballing them,” he says giving Taehyung’s ass a small smack.  Taehyung giggles and walks down the hall out of sight. Jungkook quickly heads for the bathroom locking the door.  He doubles down in pain and grips his chest.  He leans over hastily turning the sink on full blast and yanks the small towel off the side of the sink and rolls it up.  He grips it as he shoves it into his mouth biting down on it.  Teeth gritted.  He lets out a muffled yell as tears stream down his face.  He needs to stay strong for Taehyung.  He can’t let himself break down, self-destruct.  He needs to try to keep it together.  Regardless of what this bond seems to be telling him.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung leans back and cuddles into Jungkook who wraps him in his arms and kisses his neck.  He looks around and smiles taking in the laughter and happiness from the current scene.  They all had breakfast and made their way to sit around the tree to open presents.  Taehyung closes his eyes and for a second, he can almost pretend everything is normal. 

“Who’s next?” Jin asks looking around the room scanning the presents along the tree.

“Jungkookie.” Taehyung replies, eyes still closed.  “I want to give Jungkookie my present.” Taehyung opens his eyes and turns slightly to look behind his shoulder.  “It’s your turn.” Jungkook smiles and kisses him on the nose and nods. “Jin, will you hand us that big one?  The white one.” Taehyung leans forward and turns around to give Jungkook room for the big box.  Jin carefully places it down on Jungkook’s lap. 

Taehyung smiles and clasps his hands together in anticipation.

“I really hope you like them.  And think of me when you bash someone’s head in,” Taehyung jokes giggling making Jungkook frown and tilt his head in amusement.  He looks down at the beautifully wrapped present and starts to open it.  Right before he does, he looks up to see Taehyung so happy and so filled with anticipation it makes Jungkook want to cry.  He hesitates and stares into Taehyung’s eyes. 

Taehyung’s smile breaks as he looks at Jungkook’s face trying to read him.  It’s when he finally locks his gaze with Jungkook’s that he can finally see it.  He gulps and his shoulders slump slightly. He closes his eyes and shakes his head.  Not today.  Today they celebrate without all the other noise.  Just like Jungkook promised him. 

Taehyung clears his throat and smiles widely.  “Come on Jungkookie, open it already.  The anticipation is too much, and I already know what it is!”

Jungkook snaps out of his daze and laughs.  He nods and kisses Taehyung before focusing back his attention on the present.  He finally removes the top of the box and hears oohhs and aahhs coming from everyone around them.  He looks up at Taehyung who is smiling from ear to ear. 

“Tae…holy shit…these are amazing.” Jungkook looks down and takes out the purple boxing gloves.

“They have my initials.  Baby, you put my initials on them,” he says in awe. 

“I did.  I—“ Taehyung bites his lip and swallows hard, “you can use them for your next fight.  You know after I’m all healthy,” he responds, voice shaky.  Jungkook hears the shake in his voice, eyes snapping to look at Taehyung who is avoiding everyone’s gaze…especially his. 

Jungkook looks down at the boxing gloves and grips them tightly.  He sighs and puts a smile on his face.  He reaches over and takes Taehyung’s hand.  “Thank you.  I’ll wear them proudly in my next fight.  With you watching me…healthy,” he says. Taehyung notices how the smile doesn’t reach his eyes.  He nods and leans in to kiss Jungkook who eagerly returns it.

“Anybody want to go next?” Yoongi asks.

Jungkook separates himself from Taehyung and jumps up, “Me! Hang on!” Taehyung frowns as he watches Jungkook run down the hallway into his room.  He looks at Yoongi and shrugs.

Jungkook rushes back with a small, wrapped gift in his hands.

“I had it in my bag. I really thought it wasn’t going to be ready, but I got a call at the last minute yesterday and went to pick it up.” He hands the gift to Taehyung smiling.  Taehyung notices it’s a genuine smile. “Merry Christmas Tae.”

Taehyung smiles back and turns the gift in his hands.  He starts to unwrap it and gasps when he removes the wrapping in the top corner and sees the bright red lettering.  He doesn’t need to open the rest to already know what this is.  He stops and puts his head down as he cries.

“Tae? What’s wrong?” Jin asks rushing to sit by his side on the floor.

“Nothing.  Nothing is wrong.  I—“ he looks at Jungkook who also has tears in his eyes. “I’m just so happy.  I’m just really happy,” he replies as he takes the rest of the gift wrap off his present.

“Oh my god! You fixed it! You fucking fixed it,” Yoongi shouts as he joins them on the floor and looks over Taehyung’s shoulder.  Yoongi can’t believe his eyes.  It’s Ryeo’s book.  The same one Taehyung destroyed.  It looks just as it did before.  Yoongi rubs his eyes.  He can’t believe Jungkook fixed it.

“How?” Taehyung asks tearfully. 

“I found someone in Somerville no less, who specializes in this kind of thing.  He said he never met a book whose ever beat him.  He was right.”

Taehyung runs his hand over the book and hugs it to his chest.  It feels like his mother has returned to him.

“Books are the way the dead talk to the living.  Thank you, for returning my mom’s voice back to me,” Taehyung tells Jungkook as he continues to hug the book.

“You’re welcome.  Merry Christmas Princess.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung throws the last of his things into his bag and tiredly falls on his bed.  He lies down and tries to catch his breath.  He feels so winded lately just doing simple little everyday tasks.  He reaches for his blanket with all the strength he has left and lets his head fall on the pillow.  His body feels heavy. He closes his eyes as he hears the bedroom door creak open.  He doesn’t lift his head.  He doesn’t have the strength to.  “Jungkookie?”

“Yeah, it’s me Baby.” Jungkook enters the room and sees the bag on the floor.  “Did you finish packing for the hospital? Do you need any help?”

“I finished.  Will you come lie with me please?”

Jungkook sits on the edge of the bed and strokes Taehyung’s face. He looks exhausted.  He remembers back to the first time he laid eyes on this gorgeous man.  The tan skin, the beautiful pink lips, the rosy glow on his cheeks. He looks so different now. The glow gone, pale skin replacing the honey one, thinner…but Jungkook can somehow still see that Taehyung.  Still as beautiful as ever. “You’re so pretty you know that Princess.”

Taehyung snorts, “Yeah right.  Sorry Jungkookie, you’re not getting anything today.  I’m really not feeling very sexy for that.”

Jungkook chuckles and reaches under the blanket lightly tickling Taehyung.  “You and your mind Tae.  That’s not even remotely what I was thinking. I was in fact thinking about how pretty my boyfriend is and how lucky I am to have him.”

Taehyung let’s out a snort and turns to look at Jungkook.  “You’re crazy,” Taehyung replies. “Please come cuddle with me,” he pleads.

“I will, but…” Jungkook looks at the bedroom door. “Think you’re up for a visitor first?”

Taehyung frowns. “A visitor? Right now? I don’t think so Jungkookie.  I’m pretty tired.  Not feeling great and to be honest I really just want to get my headspace ready for the hospital tomorrow.”

“The thing is the person is already here and I’m pretty sure you’re really going to want to see this person.  Please? I really don’t have the heart to tell him you won’t see him?”

“Him?” asks Taehyung. “Who is it? Tom?”

Jungkook grits his teeth, “Shut the fuck up Tae. No. It is NOT that annoying bartender.”

Taehyung laughs. He loves riling up Jungkook. “Jungkookie, calm down.  I’m just kidding.  But seriously, who is it?”

“Like I said.  You’re going to be happy to see him.  Want to sit up?”

Taehyung nods. Jungkook places his hands under Taehyung’s arms and lifts up, effectively sitting him up in bed. “Thank you Jungkookie.”

“Anytime Princess. I’ll go get him.”

Taehyung sits and wonders who it could be.  He’s tired, but if someone was willing to come all the way to his house to see him then he’s not going to be rude and turn them away.  He looks up when he sees the door open and smiles widely when he sees him enter.  He laughs loudly when he feels the small body ram into him, giving him a strong hug. 

“Alex.” Taehyung says happily.

“Alex, buddy, gentle, ok? You know Tae isn’t feeling well.  You need to be careful with him,” Jungkook reminds Alex. 

Alex pulls back, apologetic look on his face. “I’m sorry Tae.”

Taehyung waves off Jungkook. “It’s fine.  Don’t worry Alex.  I’m fine.”

Jungkook takes the desk chair and places it by Taehyung’s bed. “Here,” he motions to Alex, “I’ll leave you two alone. Alex, I’ll be in the living room with your mom.  Let me know Baby if you need anything.” Jungkook leaves the room leaving a giggling Alex covering his mouth.

“Baby…” he says teasingly to Taehyung.

Taehyung rolls his eyes and laughs.  “How are you feeling Alex?”

“Good! I’m in remission!” he replies happily clapping his hands.

“I know.  I’m so happy for you! I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to hear the bell and celebrate with you.”

“It’s ok. We’ll celebrate when it’s your turn.”

Taehyung tenses.  “Right. Yeah of course. Your hair is growing so nicely.”

Alex smiles and nods. “Yours will grow back soon too Tae! Don’t worry,” he says smiling.

Taehyung gulps. 

“I talked to Max.  On the phone.  He told me to say hi to you. He’s still in the hospital.  He’s still pretty sick,” Alex says looking down sadly at his hands.  “He hasn’t gone into remission yet.  They’re starting another round of chemo for him…I—I apologized to him for being so mean while I was in the hospital.  I feel bad.”

Taehyung sighs. “It’s nice that you apologized.  I’m sure he appreciated that.”

Alex nods. “We’re friends now.  We’re going to play video games together when he gets out.”

Taehyung can hear the shake in Alex’ voice.  “That’s good.  It’s a good future plan.”

“And you’ll play with us…won’t you? You’ll be there too?”

There it is again. That shaky fearful tinge in Alex’ voice.  Taehyung takes a deep breath and bites his lip. “Of course I will.  We’ll all play together when all 3 of us are all healthy.” Taehyung instantly removes his gaze and looks off into the distance.  He’s always hated lying so much and that’s all this disease makes him do.  Lie.

“Good!” Alex says smiling widely.  He reaches into his coat pocket and takes out a book and something else Taehyung can’t quite make out.  “I got you a Christmas present. I found it on the beach.  My mom said it’s good luck,” Alex shrugs.  “I’m not sure if it’s true, but I figured if it is, I already got my luck.  So I’m giving it to you.” Alex hands the smooth rock to Taehyung who looks down and smiles.

“It’s okay to cry when there’s too much on your mind—The clouds rain too when things get heavy,” Taehyung reads as he tries to keep his voice steady.

Alex nods, with a wide grin on his face. “You said that to me when I first got to the hospital.”

Taehyung looks up shocked.  “I did?” He looks back down at the rock and frowns.  He doesn’t remember saying that to anyone.

“You did.  You told me it was ok to cry.  That it’s a good release and sometimes all a person needs is to have someone just let them cry. And you did.  You let me cry.”

Taehyung’s lip quivers and he bites down hard on his lip to keep his composure.  “Thank you.  I—I will cherish this forever.”

Alex smiles proudly.  “Oh! I also brought a book!”

Taehyung’s eyes light up.  “You did?”

“Yup! Look!”

Taehyung squints his eyes and smiles.  “I love that book!”

“You’ve read it?! It’s become my favorite!” Alex exclaims enthusiastically.

“James and the Giant Peach is a classic. I read it in school when I was little.”

“I brought it and I was hoping you would let me read to you.  You know, like you used to do for us.  Is that ok?”

Taehyung’s bottom lip quivers again.  He nods and cuddles into his blanket.  “I would love that, Alex.  So much.”

Alex sits up proudly, opens his book, and starts to read…

📖 James didn’t know where the little man came from. He was just there, thrusting a faintly glowing bag at James.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook snaps his eyes open and jumps in his seat.  He looks around his surroundings trying to catch his bearings.  His eyes take a second to adjust before he realizes he fell asleep when he was really just trying to rest his eyes for a second.  He looks at Taehyung’s hospital bed and finds it empty.  He starts to panic as he scans the room.  It’s the third day into Taehyung’s last round of treatment and every time Jungkook thinks it can’t get worse, it gets worse.  Taehyung has been the sickest he’s been so far.  Barely able to get out of bed.  The medications to keep him more comfortable have increased and when Taehyung isn’t sick, he’s sleeping. 

The pain in Jungkook’s chest exponentially increasing as well.  It went from a dull incessant nuisance to a sharp stabbing pain as the days go on.  Jungkook thinks he knows what this means, but he refuses to acknowledge it.  He won’t.  To him making the knowledge real makes everything else a reality and he isn’t ready to think about a world where Taehyung isn’t the center of. So, he ignores it.  And continues as he’s been doing.  Staying as annoyingly positive for Taehyung as he can be.

He gets up and moves towards the bathroom.  He opens it slightly and gasps dropping to the floor next to where Taehyung is lying.  He places his fingers on Taehyung’s neck feeling for a pulse.  His heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest, he’s shaking.

“Jungkookie?”

Jungkook sucks in a breath and looks up at Taehyung’s face. “TAE! OH MY GOD! TAEHYUNG YOU’RE—FUCK—I THOUGHT—” Jungkook wipes at his eyes and takes Taehyung cradling his head.  “What the fuck are you doing on the floor?! Did you pass out?!”

Taehyung weakly shakes his head.  “I got up to use the bathroom.  Then I felt nauseous and I kneeled down to throw up.  The floor feels so nice and cold Jungkook.  It’s so hot in here.” It’s only now that Jungkook notices that Taehyung is shaking.

“Hot? But Baby you’re shaking?” Jungkook reaches up frowning to touch Taehyung’s forehead. He’s not warm.  He’s burning up. “Tae…I think you have a fever.  Baby come on.  We need to get you back to bed and we need to call Doris in here. We need to tell her.” Jungkook cradles Taehyung’s head in his lap and tries desperately to hold it together.  It’s getting harder and harder for him to see Taehyung like this.  He’s afraid he’s going to fall apart, and he can’t allow himself to do that.  He needs to be strong for his omega.  Despite the stabbing pain in his chest he manages to lift Taehyung up and off the bathroom floor and back into his bed.  He immediately hits the buzzer to alert Doris into the room.  He worriedly places another hand on Taehyung’s forehead as Taehyung mumbles.

“Tae? What was that?”

“Mom?” Taehyung mumbles, eyes closed. “Dad?”

Jungkook’s breathing gets a little heavier.  He’s never had Taehyung behave like this before.  He looks at the door to the room as it opens, eyes wide and scared.

“What’s wrong Jungkook? What’s wrong with Tae?” Doris rushes in and stands at Taehyung’s side.

“H—he’s r—really warm. I—I think he h—has a fever,” Jungkook feels like the world is closing in on him.  Doris looks at him and shakes her head.  “No, no sweety, look at me.  Jungkook…you’re having a panic attack.  I need you to take a deep breath and then breathe out.  I can’t help Taehyung until I can help you.  Do you understand?  I can’t have you passing out here.”  Jungkook claws at his mask trying to take it off.

“No Jungkook! You can’t take off your mask in this room right now.  Look at me,” Jungkook looks up and focuses on Doris’ face, her eyes, “Good.  Now see that boy over there.  The one you love and adore.  He needs you and he also needs me to help him right now so I need you to breathe.  In…and then out.”

Jungkook glances at Taehyung and breathes in then lets out a puff of air.  He does this several times before he can feel his breathing normalize again. 

“There you go sweety.  Great job.  Now, let’s see what’s going on with your soulmate hmm?”

Doris begins to take Taehyung’s vitals and hums to herself.  “He has a very high fever.  He might have an infection.”

“An infection?” asks Jungkook shakily, still trying to regain his composure.

“Your immune system helps your body protect itself from getting an infection.  Cancer and chemo can damage this system by reducing the white blood cells. We need to treat this quickly.”

“H—he was mumbling to himself.  It was like…” Jungkook gulps, “it was like he was talking to his parents.  They’re…both dead. I thought…he told me before, when his mom had cancer, it spread to her brain, and she started mumbling and talking gibberish.  I thought—”

Doris leans over and squeezes his shoulder.  “You thought that’s what that was? That’s what brought on the panic attack.  He more than likely has an infection.  He stays in the immunocompromised wing for this reason exactly, but it doesn’t mean it still can’t happen.  I’ll call Dr. Allen right now to have him seen.  He will probably put him on a round of antibiotics.  Don’t worry, it’ll clear up in no time. Hang tight and let me go get the doc.” Doris dashes off leaving Jungkook painfully gripping his chest as Taehyung continues to mumble to himself.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook sits and stares at a now sleeping Taehyung.  He reaches over and touches his forehead again and sighs in relief.  His fever is down.  Dr. Allen had rushed over and after doing some tests it was just as Doris had predicted.  Taehyung had an infection.  He was on a steady round of IV antibiotics and well on the road to stop the infection in its tracks.  The cancer that’s a whole other thing. Jungkook stretches and yawns in his mask.  He’s exhausted.  He looks at the clock on the wall.  It’s late. And if he wants to be able to keep an eye on Taehyung in the middle of the night, he’ll need coffee. A lot of coffee.  Like ALL the coffee.  He tiredly gets up; legs feeling like lead and runs his thumb on Taehyung’s cheek.

“I’ll see you in a bit Princess. I really need some coffee.  I’ll be back in a bit.” He leaves the room and starts to head to the area set up for family where he could always find freshly brewed coffee. 

“Jungkook?”

“Jin?” Jungkook finds an equally exhausted looking Jin sitting with his own cup of coffee cradled between his hands. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Dr. Allen called me to tell me about Tae’s infection.  How is he feeling now?”

Jungkook slides the mask off and takes a deep breath. “He’s finally sleeping.  He’s on medication for the infection.  His fever is down so he’s much better.  I just really needed a coffee. A boost if I intend on staying up to watch him."

“Actually…” Jin hesitates, “I know you’re his mate now and his soulmate and you want to be with him at all times, but I’m hoping you don’t mind if I spend the night with him.  I just—I really need to be with my nephew tonight Jungkook.  I hope you can understand that.”

Jungkook rubs his chest.  He wants nothing more than to tell Jin no.  That he’s not leaving.  That he intends on staying by Taehyung’s side and everyone else will just have to deal with it, but he knows he can’t.  It’s not fair.  Jin and Yoongi have just as much right to spend time with Taehyung as he does.  He can’t be responsible for taking that from them.  As much as he hates the idea of leaving Taehyung for the night. He closes his eyes and nods. “Ok Jin.  No problem.  You can stay with him tonight, but I’ll be here bright and early.”

“I know you will Jungkook.  Please try to get some sleep tonight.  You look horrible.  You need to rest too.”

“I’ll try, I will.  I’ll see you tomorrow, Jin.  Call me right away if anything happens.  I’ll have my phone close by.”

“I will.  Good night Jungkook.”

Jin watches as Jungkook reluctantly turns to leave.  Jin sees him glance one more time at Taehyung’s hospital room door before disappearing into the elevator.  Jin sighs and gets up to go through the procedure to enter Taehyung’s room.  He’s been anxious all day since he got the call from the doctor.  He had discussed with Yoongi who would take tonight’s shift after Dr. Allen had mentioned that he was worried about Jungkook’s well being and mental health. Jin was informed of the panic attack he had suffered from, and Dr. Allen suggested pushing him to get sleep and focus on himself for a bit. 

Jin puts on his mask and enters Taehyung’s room.  He’s surprised to see his nephew wide awake and staring out of the window. He watches as Taehyung wipes his eyes and grips onto a small rock. “Hi Tae.”

Taehyung startles and turns to see Jin.  A large smile overtakes his face as he sees him. “Hi,” he responds weakly.  “Are you on Taehyung duty tonight? I’m glad Jungkook agreed.  He needs a rest.”

“Agreed,” Jin snorts, “barely.  I’m pretty sure he was going to tell me to fuck off, but knew I’d kill him.” Taehyung lets out a small giggle as he settles back against his pillow.  He reaches under and places his rock safely away.  “How are you feeling? Any better?”

“Do you think when we die we go up a little escalator to heaven like Tom from Tom and Jerry did that one time or do we just fade away into nothing like Thanos’ snap?” Taehyung asks as he reverts his attention back towards the window. 

Jin can feel a shiver pass over his body.  He stares at Taehyung’s face and then his eyes.  It scares him to see what’s reflected back.  Not hope.  Not fear. Acceptance.  He sees a bizarre sense of acceptance. And it’s terrifying. “Tae—”

“How are you and Joon doing? Good? Any thoughts on moving in together? You really shouldn’t wait you know…just—just don’t ever treat Yoongs as a third wheel.  He can be so sensitive sometimes—”

“STOP!” Jin yells.  He hasn’t even realized it, but he’s breathing heavily as tears stream down his face.  He takes deep breaths in his mask as he stares at Taehyung who doesn’t turn to even look at the state Jin is currently in.  He continues to stare out of the window, emotionless.

“I used to have all these ideas of what death was.  When mom was sick, I was so scared of the idea.  I imagined it to be like the grim reaper, like the ghost of Christmas future in A Christmas Carol.  I half expected to see it walking around her room to the point where when she was on her death bed, I started walking into the room with my eyes closed afraid he would be in there, waiting to take her.”

“Tae…please stop,” Jin shakily whispers.

“It’s weird because I always wondered what it felt like for her…to be sick I mean.  To constantly be in bed.  To have a disease like this eating through her body.  What might it feel like to know you’re dying. I—I know now.  And it doesn’t feel like I had thought it would.”

Jin shakes his head back and forth defiantly.  “You—you aren’t dying Taehyung.  You aren’t Ryeo.”

“They say you die three times…first, when your heart stops. Second, when they put you in the ground…third, the last time someone says your name.” Jin holds back another sob.  “Jin…can you promise me you won’t ever stop saying our names?  Jungkook and mine?” Taehyung finally turns to look at Jin who gulps.  He wants to say something, anything to his nephew, but nothing comes out.  Instead, all Jin can do is nod tearfully.

Taehyung nods back and turns towards the window again.  “Thank you.”

They don’t utter another word to each other for the rest of the night.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook throws a left then a right in quick successions against the punching bag. His punches getting harder and more erratic as he continues.  He starts to see flashes of Taehyung’s face in his thoughts as the sound of the loud blows sound like thunder in the empty dimly lit gym.  He pushes through the pain in his chest trying to ignore it as best he can.  His breathing increases as angry tears well in his eyes.  They start to fall with every continued blow.  Vision blurry and no longer clear Jungkook continues to angrily hit the bag. Harder. Angrier…sadder.  He lets out a loud groan that turns into a heartbreaking yell as he throws a hard left hook knocking the whole bag off the ceiling. He drops to his knees, griping his chest, flashes of Taehyung in front of his eyes.

“You couldn’t sleep either, huh…”

Jungkook turns as the heavy gym door slams shut.  He tries to focus his cloudy tearful eyes at the door, squinting.  Namjoon.

“Come on Jungkook,” Namjoon worriedly walks up to Jungkook and bends down pulling him up by his arm.  Namjoon knows how tough Jungkook is.  But all of that goes out of the window when it comes to Taehyung.  The only times he’s ever seen him cry have been due to his soulmate.  The impact this omega has had in changing who Jungkook is, is nothing short of spectacular.  And now Jungkook may lose him.  And Namjoon and everyone else may lose them both. He guides Jungkook to a stool.  The same stool Taehyung used to sit in to watch Jungkook train.  Jungkook looks down at it and shakes his head.  He sits down and sighs as he starts to remove his gloves.

“How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t.  I’m not used to having Jin away from me at night anymore.  I couldn’t sleep.  I don’t know what it is about this place, but it sets me at ease,” Namjoon says as he sets a stool next to Jungkook’s and sits down.

“Me too. Familiar. Comfortable.  It feels like what Taehyung feels like to me. And since I couldn’t have that tonight, I decided to come here.”

Namjoon glances at the destroyed punching bag. “Are you sure you aren’t just here to destroy our shit?” he jokes.

“Let go of my anger in productive ways my therapist said. So that I never take it out on Tae.  That’s what I’m doing,” Jungkook says as he angrily unrolls the tape from his knuckles.

“Do you want to talk about it? The anger?”

“He’s dying Joon,” Jungkook replies dryly as he throws his glove across the gym. “I’ve held onto this positivity because I need to.  He couldn’t be and so I knew it had to fall on me.  But it wasn’t because I felt I had to; it was because I believed it.  I believed he would get better.  I—had this whole plan.  He would get better, and I would ask him to move in with me.  Maybe buy a house together. Start coaching instead of boxing.  Lead a nice simple life with the love of my life by my side—”

“That could still happen—"

Jungkook angrily shakes his head. “No. Fuck! You don’t understand.  The mating bond…I can feel him more.  He—he’s dying Joon. The treatment isn't working.  And the worst thing about it is that he knows it.  And I think he knows I know it too. And we’re both just going through the motions, ignoring it. A—And—J—Joon…I don’t know how I’m going to do this t—this,” Jungkook says looking down at his hands as tears fall upon them.  “I—I’m really not sure how I’m going to say goodbye to him when the time comes.” Jungkook lets out a cry that shakes his whole body. 

Namjoon doesn’t think and before he knows it, he has Jungkook in a bone crushing hug as Jungkook’s body shakes with his cries.  “You—you have to stay positive Jungkook.  No matter what.  I know what you’re feeling, but—but you two can’t give up on this.”

“I lost so much time,” Jungkook sobs. “I hate myself for that! The time I wasted by being so unfair to him at the beginning!  I can’t get that back! If I could just get that back!”

Namjoon squeezes harder, holding Jungkook as still as he can. “Well, you can’t! You did what you did and that’s it! But you have now Jungkook.  No matter how short the time will be, you have it now!” Namjoon pulls back and places his hands on both of Jungkook’s shoulders.  “You have each other now.  Regardless of the outcome, you have each other.  Together.  You spend your time together.  Just the way you had wished for in that park when you were little.  And don’t regret any second of it! You don’t waste any second of it!”

Jungkook leans his head forward resting it on Namjoon’s chest. “I love him so much.  I’m not ready to give him up. Not ever.”

Namjoon sighs as he holds back his own tears. “Then don’t.  Keep holding on Jungkook.  Please.  I know what you’re feeling, but please keep holding on.”

Jungkook snorts. “And what? Keep ignoring it?!”

“You and him defied everything we know to be the rule.  We’ve been taught, told, engrained in us that our soulmates are those the universe picks for us and yet somehow you two did the unimaginable and chose each other.  Against all odds.  Against everything nature tells us.  You chose him.  And he chose you back.  It was an anomaly.  Something that was never supposed to occur and yet it did.  You two are the exception. I know what you think to be true right now…but I have faith in the two of you.  I believe in what you both have.  And I know it won’t end like this.  I know a love like yours is meant to be epic. An epic, long, love story.  Don’t give up yet Jungkook.  Not yet.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung groans in his sleep.  He feels hands caressing his cheek, but he can’t seem to open his eyes.  They feel so heavy along with every other part of his body.  The heaviest being his heart especially when he can smell vanilla ice cream so close to him.  He struggles to open his eyes and when he does the sight sends him into a large smile making Jungkook shiver.  That smile that he wants to etch and carve forever in his memory.  He takes a deep breath and smiles back.

“Jungkookie?” Taehyung asks, voice groggy and hoarse.  “What are doing here? Jin was staying with me tonight.”

Jungkook gently pulls Taehyung up and starts to put a coat over his shoulders.  “I don’t want to spend a second away from you.  I understand Jin and Yoongi want their time, but…I’m going to be selfish Tae.  I won’t sacrifice my time with you for them.  I—I need to be with you.”

Taehyung sighs tiredly as he lets Jungkook dress him in warm winter clothing.  He doesn’t have the energy to protest. He simply nods and allows himself to be dressed. “Are we going somewhere? You know I can’t leave this room,” Taehyung replies weakly.

Jungkook snorts as he puts a mask over Taehyung’s face.  “They can try to stop us.  Besides, Doris is pulling a double tonight.  She’s on. She already gave me the ok.”

“Where are we going? I—I’m sorry Jungkookie, but…I’m really not feeling up for a trip.”

Jungkook cups Taehyung’s face and kisses his forehead.  “Don’t worry Princess.  It’s really close by.  You trust me, don’t you?”

“The most.”

Jungkook smiles. “Ok then.  Let’s go have a date.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

The elevator doors open making Taehyung gasp in surprise.  Jungkook smiles happily hoping this would be Taehyung’s reaction.  He bends down and wraps Taehyung’s scarf tightly around him and pulls his beanie securely over his head.  “Isn’t it beautiful Baby?  Almost as beautiful as you,” he says as he kisses Taehyung on the cheek and wheels him out of the elevator. 

Taehyung looks around as snowflakes fall and settle on his long eyelashes.  The crunching of snow is the only thing that can be heard under Jungkook’s feet and the wheels of his wheelchair.  Jungkook carefully takes him to the middle of what looks like a rooftop garden, fully lit up by twinkling lights.

“It’s beautiful here.  The lights are like the ones in my room.  I miss my room,” Taehyung laments as he looks around, the lights reflecting and sparkling in his eyes.  Jungkook locks the wheelchair next to a bench and without a word lifts Taehyung out making him Yelp as he wraps his arms around Jungkook’s neck.

Jungkook places him on the bench and settles in next to Taehyung wrapping a blanket around them both.  He pulls him closely and places an arm around Taehyung’s waist.  “This is the Howard Ulfelder, MD, Healing Garden. 

It’s specifically designed for cancer patients and their families,” Jungkook replies looking up as the snow continues to fall around them. “I wanted you to see the snow.”

Taehyung cuddles into Jungkook and let’s out a content sigh.  “It’s amazing. The view up here is so beautiful.  I didn’t even know this place existed.”

“Neither did I. Doris told me about it.  When it started to snow tonight, I knew this is where I needed to be…with you.”

Taehyung reaches up and slowly removes his mask. Jungkook turns, panicking, quickly trying to stop Taehyung. “Jungkook…It’s ok.  It’s just us.  I want to be able to really smell the fresh air.  That smell of snow mixing with your scent.  I—I just really need to be in this moment right now without any other distractions.  These fucking masks are a distraction I don’t want between us right now.” Taehyung then reaches up and removes Jungkook’s mask as well. “I miss seeing this face without that mask,” he says as he touches Jungkook’s jaw leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on the corner of his lips. 

Jungkook gulps and without thinking places his lips fully on Taehyung.  He tastes salt on his lips and for a second looks up and thinks Taehyung is crying.  It’s not until he sees Taehyung wipe his cheeks with his thumb that Jungkook realizes the tears aren’t coming from Taehyung. They’re coming from himself. 

“It’s ok. It’s ok Jungkookie.  It’s going to be fine.  Really it is.” Taehyung wipes the tears from Jungkook’s face and leans in closer resting his head on his shoulder.

“Tae—“

“I know.  And you know.  But we aren’t going to talk about it…not tonight.  Look around us.  It’s so beautiful.  And regardless of everything, in this moment, I’m happy.  I’m here with you and I’m happy.  And that to me is everything.  It’s all that matters right now.”

Jungkook exhales shakily and wraps his arms around Taehyung.  “Ok Princess.  Because you’re right.  Right now, I have you in my arms and to me that’s all that matters too.”

Taehyung lifts his head and looks up opening his mouth to catch the snowflakes.  “Nature is full of genius, full of the divinity; so that not a snowflake escapes its fashioning hand,” Taehyung says looking off into the distance.  “Henry David Thoreau wrote that, and I never quite understood what he meant by that until this very moment,” Taehyung says as his bottom lip quivers. 

Jungkook tightens his grip on him, and he feels Taehyung’s body go lax.  “Baby?” Jungkook looks down and sees Taehyung’s eyes close.  He looks pale and ghostly.  What Jungkook wouldn’t give to see the Taehyung who first walked into his gym.  What he wouldn’t give to have the opportunity to redo that moment over again knowing what he knows now.  “Tae?”

“It’s really pretty here,” Taehyung responds eyes still closed, “but…I’m really not feeling ok Jungkookie.  I think I need to go back,” he responds weakly.  Taehyung struggles to open his eyes, but he’s tired and too weak to even try anymore.  Jungkook grits his teeth and holds back on all the emotions he’s feeling.  He lets out a choked breath and without saying a word he scoops Taehyung up in his arms and places him back in his wheelchair.  Taehyung finally opens his eyes again and looks around wanting to make sure he remembers every bit of the world around him. 

Jungkook wheels him back into the elevator and back down to his floor.  Both silent.  Both knowing so much yet not wanting to acknowledge it.  Jungkook carefully takes Taehyung back into his room and lifts him back into his hospital bed. He tucks Taehyung in and sits on the edge of the bed leaning in and kissing him.

“I love you Princess.”    

Taehyung smiles. “And to think you absolutely hated me at the beginning.”

“I didn’t hate you. How could anyone hate you?”

“You’re right.  I am pretty lovable.”

“The most lovable.”

Jungkook straightens and fluffs Taehyung’s pillows.  He goes to pull the big chair closer to Taehyung’s bed.

“I’m not afraid of dying.”

Jungkook freezes, every muscle in his body tensing.  He places the chair down and turns to look at Taehyung.  He looks so small, so different than the loud, over exuberant Taehyung he’s used to seeing.  He walks closer to Taehyung and stands by his side. “What?” Jungkook asks in a low whisper.

“I’m not afraid of dying. Not anymore,” Taehyung replies as tears start to quietly roll down his emaciated cheeks.  “I’m more afraid about what’s going to happen to the people I love when I’m gone.  To you.”

Jungkook chokes back a sob.  He leans over and wipes the tears from Taehyung’s face.  He stays close to Taehyung leaning closer to his face. “You never have to worry about that.  Do you hear me?  That’s something you don’t ever have to worry about because you, Princess, are going to be fine.” Jungkook leans down and places his lips on Taehyung, tentatively.  He feels Taehyung opens his lips slightly giving access, permission.  He deepens the kiss reaching up to cup Taehyung’s cheek. He can taste Taehyung’s tears. His pain. He pulls back to see Taehyung crying again.  He wipes his face with his sleeve.  “You’re going to be fine.” Taehyung gives him a small nod.

Jungkook sighs and sits in the chair.  “Ok. What’s it going to be tonight? What do you want me to read you tonight Baby?”

“The Eyes of the Dragon please,” Taehyung responds as he pulls out his mother’s book from under his pillow.

Jungkook smiles. “Eyes of the Dragon it is,” he says as he pulls it out and begins to read.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung looks down at his hands and looks up at Dr. Allen.  He can’t hear a thing.  All he can hear is white noise and an incessant ringing in his ears.  He looks to his left and sees Jin crying, Yoongi holding him closely, but he can’t seem to make out what he’s saying.  He opens his mouth to tell everyone, anyone, that there seems to be something wrong with his ears, but he can’t seem to get anything to leave his mouth.  He can’t seem to find his voice.  Gone to wherever his hearing has gone off too he assumes.  He feels hands gripping his tightly and he looks to his right to see Jungkook, his Jungkook, looking incredibly void of color in his face.  Looking at him with frightened eyes.  Taehyung looks at his lips and tries to focus on what he’s saying. 

“Tae…Tae…”

Taehyung blinks.  He gulps and it’s as if he’s been hit with a ton of bricks. All his senses returning all at once and he suddenly feels nauseous.

“Taehyung…do you understand what I’m telling you?” Dr. Allen asks him as Taehyung’s eyes widen in understanding.

“It didn’t work.  The treatment didn’t work, and I didn’t go into remission.” Taehyung can hear the words escape his mouth, but he doesn’t recognize his own voice. Hoarse and monotone, void of any emotion.  He feels the grip tighten on his hands and he looks down to see Jungkook holding on as if his life depended on it.  Taehyung let’s out a scoff.  Probably because it does.

Jungkook clears his throat and takes a deep breath.  “So what now? What’s the next step?”

Taehyung silently looks at Dr. Allen.  He already knows. He closes his eyes and wishes he was back in his room in his hanging chair with his book, twinkle lights on. Maybe this is a dream.  Maybe when he opens his eyes he’ll be exactly there.  Back in his room and then he can laugh about this.  He quickly opens his eyes and feels a heavy weight settle in his chest. 

“We can start another round of heavy treatment.”

Jungkook feels Taehyung tense under his touch.  He turns and sees the fear in Taehyung’s eyes.  “Is that the only option?”

“No. There is—“

“It is.  That’s the only option,” Taehyung interrupts. 

“Taehyung, now isn’t the time to be stubborn.  We didn’t utilize it last time because the chemo and radiation worked, but…we should try it now,” Yoongi responds quickly as he holds a distraught Jin.

“No.” Taehyung looks to Dr. Allen and shakes his head.  “No. What exactly is my blood count at? How long do I have left?”

Jin lets out a sob as Jungkook cringes at the questions.  “What’s the other option? Why don’t you want to discuss it Taehyung?”

“Because its fucking useless and stupid, that’s why. Don’t you get it? Everything now is useless.  How much longer do I have? I know it can’t be long.  I can feel it.”

Jungkook’s jaw tenses. He turns to Dr. Allen and directs his questions to him. “What’s the other option?”

“Stem cells.  We could look for a donor.  We try to find a match.  Then we do a stem cell transplant.”

“Great! Perfect! That! We’ll try that!” Jungkook replies enthusiastically.

“No! Are you not hearing me?! That is not an option.  The possibility of me finding a match is like 25%.  And it’s expensive Jungkook.  I didn’t have the money for this treatment what makes you think I have the money for something like stem cell treatment?!”

“I’ll take out a second mortgage on the house,” Jin responds, sniffling and composing himself.  He can’t break down.  Not now.  Now he needs to be strong and take control over this and help his nephew.  He promised Ryeo.

“A second mortgage?! Are you crazy?! You’re already being left with debt.  I can’t leave you with more after I die Jin.  It’s not fair!”

“So what? You’re just going to give up? That’s it?”

“It won’t work! The chances of me finding a match are nonexistent. It won’t work!” Taehyung wishes he were stronger to be able to get up and get away from everyone, but he’s pretty sure if he attempted it right now, he would undoubtedly end up passed out on the floor.

“Jin is right.  You want to just give up? You promised me Tae.  You promised you would fight as long as you could.  This is something that could work Baby. Please,” Jungkook pleads.

“I did fight.  I fought harder than you will ever know.  But I can’t,” Taehyung bites back sobs, “I can’t build myself up for something that I know won’t work.  Not again.  I’m tired Jungkook.  I’m so tired.  Maybe sometimes it’s time to just let go and let the inevitable happen.  I told you.  I’m not afraid of dying anymore.”

“What if I’m not ready to give up? What if I’m not ready to give you up? None of us are.  Taehyung…even if the chances of this working are small, at least they exist.  At least they're a possibility,” Jungkook pleads again, eyes burning into Taehyung’s.

“I can’t,” Taehyung sobs. “I can’t.”

Yoongi loosens his hold on Jin and stands beside Taehyung.  “How soon do you need to know?”

Dr. Allen sighs.  “The sooner the better.  The longer we wait the worse it is.  I won’t sugar coat this.  Taehyung you ARE dying.  And you don’t have very much longer left.  If this is going to have any chance of being successful, we need to start immediately.  Finding a match may take time and we need to work quickly.”

Yoongi places his arm around Taehyung’s waist and lifts him up.  “We’ll let you know as soon as possible.  But right now, everyone needs to give him some air.  Come on Tae.” Taehyung let’s Yoongi lift him up.  Jungkook quickly reacts, a growl escaping his lips.  Instinct and possessiveness taking him and his alpha over. 

Taehyung weakly places his head on Yoongi’s shoulder as Jin stops Jungkook dead in his tracks, hand on his chest forcing him to stay back.  “Listen to me, I know.  Ok.  I feel the same things you are, but right now Yoongi is right.  Let Taehyung breathe and think about things.” Jin turns to Dr. Allen, “One day.  Give us all one day.  We’ll have an answer.”

Dr. Allen nods and gives them an encouraging smile. 

“I’m taking him home Jungkook,” Yoongi states firmly. 

Taehyung straightens up and stares deep into Jungkook’s eyes.  “Please don’t be mad at me.  I—I need you to understand where I’m coming from with this.  Please.”

Yoongi grips Taehyung and leads him out as Jungkook and Jin silently follow.  They all ride the elevator in silence and watch as Yoongi takes Taehyung out of the hospital.

“Jungkook—“

“Fuck this Jin,” Jungkook angrily says as he takes out his phone heading towards the exit.

“Jungkook! What are you going to do?” yells Jin after him.

“I’m not losing him Jin.  I don’t care what I have to do.  All I know is I’m not losing him,” Jungkook cries back exiting the hospital stepping out into the refreshing cold air.

Jungkook dials and waits.

“Hello?”

“Joon…I need you and your parents to meet me at the house.  We need to talk.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook sits anxiously on the living room couch frantically rubbing his hands together.  He looks around the room and realizes it’s been a while since he’s sat here like this.  He’s always been an expert at keeping people at bay, at building a wall for everyone.  Everyone including his adoptive family.  He didn’t actively go out of his way to have this be the case.  It’s just the way he is.  The way he was built.  His lack of trust with anyone around him made it difficult for him to even open up to the people who came into his life who were genuine.  Sitting here now waiting for Namjoon and his parents to arrive he feels like a hypocrite.  How could he possibly ask this of them when he never really tried to open himself up to them the way he should have?  Will they be receptive to his request? Or will they tell him to fuck off like everyone else in his life has done? He honestly wouldn’t blame them if they did.

Jungkook startles out of his thoughts when he hears the front door open and close with a loud bang.  He sees Namjoon walk in, a frantic look in his eyes followed by his parents who look equally worried.

“Kook,” Namjoon asks scanning Jungkook’s face for anything.  He’s been calling Jin nonstop to only get sent to voicemail continuously. He knows this can’t be a good sign for the doctor’s appointment Taehyung had scheduled today.  Standing here now, looking into Jungkook’s eyes, he knows he’s right. “Jungkook?” Namjoon tries again as he moves closer to Jungkook.  Namjoon feels a quick breeze swift past him as his mother rushes to Jungkook’s side.  She immediately and instinctively reaches for Jungkook, but he flinches at the touch and pulls away. 

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon’s mother, Bok-soon, responds quickly giving Jungkook space. Namjoon’s father, Joong-ki, sighs and looks from his son to Jungkook. “Kook--”

“I need you to lend me money.  A lot of it,” Jungkook quickly gets out in one breath.  He closes his eyes and grips the side of his hoodie...their hoodie. “I know I’m the last person who should be asking any of you for anything.  I haven’t--I--” Jungkook looks down at his hands rubbing them together, “I know I really haven’t been the nicest, the most grateful to any of you, but I need your help,” Jungkook says as he bites his lower lip trying to stop the sob that is threatening to escape.  His eyes are watering, and he blinks frantically trying to will the tears away. “Please...” he whispers as the tears start to fall down his cheeks in quick succession.

Bok-soon looks worriedly at her son and then at her husband.  Namjoon takes a deep breath, “It didn’t work, did it? That’s why Jin won’t answer my calls.  Taehyung isn’t getting better...is he?”

Jungkook’s shoulder’s sag as more tears release. “No.  He’s not.  He’s dying.  It didn’t fucking work and he’s ready to give up.” Jungkook looks up, hands balling into fists. “But I’m not.  I’m not giving him up.  I won’t give him up.  Not now, not ever.”

Joong-ki takes a seat on the other side of Jungkook and looks into his son’s face.  His son.  Not biologically, but Jungkook has become his son.  From the moment they brought him home and welcomed him into their family, Jungkook became their son.  He knows how difficult it has been for Jungkook to understand and accept that and to be able to try to open himself up to them.  To show any vulnerability.  As he looks at Jungkook now, he sees it.  He sees the side of Jungkook he’s kept so tightly hidden.  That vulnerable trusting side.  And he knows who the person is who helped his son get there.

“Tell me how much.  How much does Taehyung need, and I’ll give it to you,” he replies with no hesitation.  He reaches and grips onto Jungkook’s hand.  Jungkook lets out a small gasp but doesn’t attempt to move.  He continues to openly cry as he stares into his adoptive father’s eyes. 

“Just like t—t—that" he stammers, as he grips the hand that is holding onto him tightly. “Y--you’re willing to just give it to me just like that?”

“Of course,” Joong-ki replies staring with caring eyes back at Jungkook.

“Why?”

“You’re our son,” Bok-soon replies wrapping her arms around Jungkook holding him tightly as his body shakes from the sobs.  “You are our son and who you love, we love.  If we can help Taehyung, you, then we will.”

“It’s a lot of money,” Jungkook whispers through tears. “I don’t know when I’ll be able to pay you back.”

“You don’t have to.  We’re a family Kook,” Namjoon replies kneeling down in front of Jungkook, “this is exactly the kind of things families do for each other.  And Taehyung is my family now too.  We’ll do anything we need to do to help him get better.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath and sniffles.  He nods and closes his eyes, feeling the first ray of hope that he’s felt in quite some time. 

“What’s the plan Kook?”

Jungkook looks up at his family.  Family. He grew up not having one and now he realizes he is surrounded by a loving caring family. And he’s also gained a new one with Taehyung, Jin, and Yoongi.  He’s never had anything like this in his life and he will fiercely protect it.  Especially Taehyung.  He will do anything to keep him safe.

“Stem cells. The plan is we convince Taehyung he needs do the stem cell procedure.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung looks around his room and stares at the bookcase filled with so many of his mother’s books.  They look so foreign to him, like they don’t belong to him. “They won’t soon,” he says as he reaches into his backpack and pulls out The Eyes of the Dragon and sets it on its spot on the bookcase.  He weakly sits on his swinging chair and lets his body relax.  He wonders what will happen to his room when he passes.  Will Jin keep it, or will he move everything out? Will he sell the house and move in with Namjoon? He knows Jungkook isn’t really a book enthusiast, but he hopes he will keep his book collection and take good care of them.

Jungkook.  Taehyung puts his face in his hands and weeps.  Of course Jungkook won’t keep them because he won’t be around as well after this curse is finally done coursing through his body and moves on to Jungkook.  He can’t understand why this keeps happening to him.  Why he seems to have pissed off fate so badly for him to be receiving this kind of karma.  “I swear, please,” he places his hands into prayer and looks up at his ceiling praying to no one in particular, but hoping someone, anyone will hear him. “Please,” he whispers, “I really don’t care if you need to take me, but please, please,” he cries, “please let him live.  Jungkook has suffered enough.  Let him live out his life in peace for once.  Please don’t do this to him.  Please just take me,” he sobs as he grips his hands tightly into prayer.

Taehyung feels arms wrap around him and lift him up. He is instantly engulfed by the smell of vanilla ice-cream instantly overtaking his senses. 

“Stop. Princess, stop,” Jungkook shakily says as he carries Taehyung to his bed and sits him down.  Taehyung grips onto Jungkook and hugs him tightly not wanting to let go.  He never wants to let go.  “Listen to me, it’s going be ok. I know right now it doesn’t seem like it will be, but I need you to trust me and come out to the living room with me,” Jungkook pulls back and looks into Taehyung’s eyes.  Those beautiful big brown eyes that hold so much sadness and fear in them.  He sighs and pulls off his hoodie and carefully pulls it over Taehyung's head and down onto his frail body.  He wipes the tears from Taehyung’s red and swollen face and kisses him gently, lovingly on the lips.  “Just trust me.  You trust me, don’t you?”

Taehyung nods tearfully. “You know I do.”

Jungkook smiles and cups Taehyung’s face, “Then come out to the living room with me.”

Taehyung nods again, taking all the strength he has left to get up and follow Jungkook out.  Jungkook holds him up, guiding him out making sure he’s supporting him as Taehyung shakily walks out into his living room.  His eyes widen in shock as he furrows his brows.  “What is this? Why are you all here?”

Taehyung scans the room and sees Jin and Yoongi who smiles back at him, but he also sees Hobi and Jimin, and Namjoon, and most importantly Namjoon’s parents.  He wraps his arms around himself as he smells vanilla ice cream surrounding him.  He looks at Jungkook who is smiling so brightly, so lovingly at him that it feels almost blinding to him.  “I don’t understand,” he says softly, “Why is everyone here like this?”

“Hello Taehyung,” Bok-soon cautiously moves forward and looks at Jungkook who gives her a slight nod.  “I’m Namjoon and Jungkook’s mother.” Jungkook can’t help feeling a warmth spread through his body as he hears those words leave her lips.  “We’re here because we want to be able to help in whatever way we can.  And I really hoped we would meet in better circumstances, but so be it.  We’ll make up for it when you’re better sweetheart.”

Taehyung feels his stomach dip.  When he’s better. “What is this?” he asks again, the anxiety and fear opening up that other emotion he’s become so acquainted with recently...anger. Jungkook seems to sense the shift in his scent because he moves closer to Taehyung and reaches for his hand. 

“Tae...I need you to hear us all out.  I need you to hear me out,” Jungkook starts as he turns to face Taehyung who can now feel his anxiety swell to a max.  He attempts to break free from Jungkook’s grip, but Jungkook grips harder, not letting him retreat.  “No.  I’m not letting you run from this.  Believe me.  I know what that’s like.  To run, but we aren’t doing that this time Baby.  You are going to hear what we all have to say.”

Taehyung feels his eyes water as he shakes his head. “Please...this is hard enough.  Please don’t draw this out into something it doesn’t have to be--”

“Baby, I love you, but shut up,” Jungkook says as he holds onto Taehyung’s hand firmly.  Taehyung frowns at him and purses his lips tightly.  “I’m sorry, but now isn’t the time for you to be stubborn.  It’s time for you to listen and then we’ll listen to you.  But for right now, for this very second, I need you to just please listen.” Taehyung looks around the room and locks eyes with Yoongi who gives him a slight nod and mouths a silent “please” to him.  Taehyung sighs, resigned. 

“Ok,” he answers as he stands awkwardly looking around the room. “C--can I sit down first.  I’m really not feeling that great.”

“Joon! Move the fuck off the couch,” Jungkook yells quickly grimacing and catching himself. “Sorry.  I—force of habit.  Joon, can you please let Tae sit there?”

Namjoon let’s out a small chuckle and nods.  Taehyung walks slowly and sits down before his knees buckle.  He’s nauseous and exhausted.  He really doesn’t know if he can do whatever this is right now. Yoongi moves quickly and sits at his feet gripping his ankle.  Taehyung smiles down weakly at his best friend eternally grateful for him. 

Jungkook takes a deep breath and kneels down in front of Taehyung. “Baby...I know.  Ok, I do.  I know you think I don’t, but I can feel everything.” Jungkook reaches up and runs a finger across Taehyung’s mating scar sending shivers down Taehyung’s spine.  “I always felt you, but it’s become more since this.  I can feel every emotion, every feeling you have, and I know right now it feels hopeless to you.  I can also feel that it’s not exactly you giving up.  It’s--it’s more like you’ve accepted it. But that’s the thing Princess, I haven’t.”

Taehyung frowns and goes to open his mouth but is stopped by a gentle finger on his lips effectively silencing him.  “Please, let me finish,” Jungkook replies quickly as he takes Taehyung’s hands. “I love you.  I love you like I have never loved anyone in my life.  I will never love anyone like this again Taehyung.  And I wasted so much fucking time not being with you over something so petty.  I want that time back.  I want to make up for all of it.  I want us to live, like really live and I know I’m asking you for a lot.  Because I know what you’ve been through with this fucking disease.  With the damn treatment, but I’m asking you to please...do it again.  Not just for me, but for all of us,” Jungkook asks gripping Taehyung’s hands.

“I--I can’t--” Taehyung tearfully whispers.  “I’m afraid.  I—don't want to go through that again with the outcome only being the same. Please don’t ask me to do that again,” he cries as he locks eyes with Jin who moves quickly to sit next to his nephew.  He places a gentle arm around his shoulder and kisses his cheek.

“This won’t be the same Taehyungie.  It won’t be the same treatment.  It’s something we haven’t tried before.  It’s something that could work for real this time.”

Taehyung creases his brows and looks at Jungkook.  “The stem cells, right? That’s what all of you want me to do?” He can feel that anxiety, that anger start to pool at this pit of his stomach. “Did you not hear the doctor? Did you not hear how low the chances are of it working not to mention finding a match.  It’s impossible--”

“It’s not.  It’s not impossible and you won’t know until you try,” Jungkook interrupts as he releases his scent in the hopes it will calm his mate down. 

Taehyung scoffs angrily, “I don’t want to go through all of that to not have it work in the end.  To get my hopes up, your hopes up,” he motions to everyone in the room, “all of your hope’s up just for the outcome to be the same as it always is.  Failure.  Fate cursed us don’t you see!” Taehyung yells into Jungkook’s face gripping his shoulders and shaking him. “It brought us together to only fuck with us and then rip us apart because we fucked with it first--”

“That’s bullshit! Taehyung, that is bullshit and you know it. Fate never had anything to do with us.  We chose.  We did.  Fuck fate.  Fuck the whole stars are aligned, predisposed bullshit.  We make our own fate.  You and me,” Jungkook cups Taehyung’s face and stares deep into his eyes. “You know what my life was like.  I more than anyone know what it feels like to want to give up because of how shitty fate seems to be.  But fuck, you barreled into my life and showed me that life is worth living especially if you’re in it.  If we are surrounded by love and let it in, anything is possible.  You taught me that.  Let it in, Baby.  Let it in and let all of us help you, support you.  Let’s really kick fate’s ass and show it we aren’t people it wants to mess with.”

“But...I--” Taehyung turns and looks at Jin, “we can’t afford this.  I won’t let you go into even more debt for me.  I couldn’t die peacefully knowing I left you with all of that burden,” Taehyung tearfully says.

“You aren’t a burden.  You never were.  Not now and not when your parents passed.  You were never and will never be a burden to me or anyone in this room, do you understand? Tae...you’re all I have left of her.  I—I don’t know what will happen if--” Jin breathes deeply as he feels a hand grip his shoulder.  He looks up and sees Namjoon stand protectively over him. “I don’t want to lose you...what I have left of her.”

“Neither do I,” Yoongi says as he squeezes Taehyung’s ankle.  “I will always support you and every decision you make, but...I am going to very selfishly decline from supporting this one.  I--” Yoongi sniffles and wipes at his eyes, “no offense Jungkook, I know you’re soulmates, mates, whatever, but” Yoongi sighs, “we’re brothers,” he says as he stares intensely at Taehyung.  “Our bond goes deep Tae.  Real fucking deep and I—I don’t want to lose you either.  The idea of being alive while you aren’t is something I can’t fathom and I--” Yoongi lets out a choked sob, “I don’t want to find out what that will feel like.”

Taehyung bites his lips as hot tears stream down his cheeks. 

“See Baby.  We all need you in our lives.  None of us are complete without you in it.  It’s not your time.  Or mine. It won’t be our time until we’re old and grey Princess.  It’s definitely not now.”

Taehyung shakes his head.  “I--we—can't afford it.  I won’t leave Jin with all of that debt.  I won’t,” he says determined.

“You won’t have to,” Joong-ki replies as he moves closer to Taehyung. “I hope you won’t mind, but we will be taking care of the bill.  Of all the costs.  Just as we took care of the remaining balance you had with your past treatment.”

Taehyung stills as he hears Jin gasp next to him.  Taehyung tenses as his breathing starts to become erratic.  Jungkook grips his hands again and releases more of his scent. “Tae, look at me...now.” Taehyung slowly turns his gaze to Jungkook. “Don’t.  The gears are turning in your head.  I asked them to.  I did.  And I don’t care if you’re angry at me over it.  I told you, I’m willing to do anything to make sure you stay alive.  And not only that, but we’re also all going to be tested as doners.  All of us.  I—fuck! I even called Tom,” Jungkook says gritting his teeth.  He did say he was willing to do anything.

Taehyung looks around the room and takes deep breaths in and out, steadying himself.  He looks into the face of his Alpha, his mate.  He can’t imagine not being able to look at this face for all eternity. He closes his eyes and lets out a small sigh.

Jungkook braises himself for what’s coming.  He stares waiting at his omega and his reaction.  He stares in bated breath as he watches Taehyung slowly open his eyes as he forms a small smile leaning closely into Jungkook.

“Ok,” Taehyung whispers, “I’ll do it.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen, jaw dropping. “What?”

Taehyung leans again and rolls his eyes. “I said, I’ll do it.  I—I can’t say I’m hopeful, but...the truth is I’m not willing to let go of you yet either,” Taehyung says gripping onto Jungkook.  He looks around the room scanning the faces of everyone he dearly loves. “I’m not willing to let go of any of you.  So...I’ll do it.”

Taehyung gasps as he feels several bodies barrel into him, hugging him, supporting him.  He feels his body sag as he rests his head on Jungkook’s shoulder. 

“Thank you, Princess.  It’s gonna work.  It is.  I can feel it.  Baby, I know it’s going to work,” Jungkook whispers in his ear.

Taehyung isn’t sure if he believes that, but for right now, in this moment, he’s willing to let himself try.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung rests his head on Jungkook’s shoulder and closes his eyes.  Even with his hoodie and a coat on he’s shaking.  He feels a warm hand on his cheek, and he slowly opens his eyes. 

“Baby, here,” Jungkook says as he takes his coat off and drapes it over Taehyung.  Jungkook looks into Taehyung’s ragged face and sighs. 

“Still feeling chills Taehyung?” asks Dr. Allen.

Taehyung shivers as he grips Jungkook’s coat around himself. 

“He’s cold all the time lately,” Jin responds.  Jungkook nods as he wraps a protective arm around his omega.  Taehyung continues to shiver in his grasp.  Jungkook places a gentle kiss on the top of his head and looks up locking eyes with Joong-ki who sends a reassuring smile his way. 

“Maybe we should get started.  I’d really like to get Taehyung admitted as soon as possible,” Jungkook says as he feels Taehyung nod against his shoulder.

“Yes,” responds Dr. Allen, “let’s start. Taehyung, your room is ready, and you’ll be receiving a blood transfusion as soon as you settle in.”

Taehyung weakly opens his eyes and looks up. “Is everyone being tested today?”

Dr. Allen nods and looks around the room.  “To minimize potential side effects, we most often use transplanted stem cells that match the patient’s own stem cells as closely as possible. People have different sets of proteins, called human leukocyte-associated antigens, on the surface of their cells. The set of proteins, called the HLA type, is identified by a special blood test. You will all have blood drawn today as well as cheek swabs and we will run a series of special tests against Taehyung’s own blood. In most cases, the success of allogeneic transplantation depends in part on how well the HLA antigens of the donor’s stem cells match those of the recipient’s stem cells. The higher the number of matching HLA antigens, the greater the chance that the patient’s body will accept the donor’s stem cells.”

“How long? How long until we know if any of us are a match?” Yoongi asks, leaning against the door. 

“We’re placing a rush on the tests, but even then, it’ll take a couple of days.  In the meantime, we will give Taehyung a blood transfusion which should help in making you feel a little better.  You’ll continue to receive them even after the stem cell procedure.”

“If I find a match,” Taehyung replies as an eye roll escapes his gaze.

“When you find a match,” Jungkook quickly responds. “Positive energy only Princess. Remember? It’s going to work.  You just have to believe in it ok?”

Taehyung sighs deeply and looks up at his mate.  He sees the hope reflecting in his eyes.  He desperately wishes he could reciprocate even half of it. “Ok Jungkookie.  You’re right.  More positive thinking.  When. Not if. When,” he says trying to muster the best smile he can.  He feels so tired. So weak.  Has it always hurt to smile? Everything seems to hurt lately.

Taehyung turns when he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up. “Taehyungie, it’s ok to be scared.  To feel cautiously optimistic about this,” Jin says as he kneels down next to his nephew. “You aren’t alone.  We’re all here.  No matter what.  We love you and we will all be by your side.  And I know your first instinct has always been to shut down, to put up that wall, but not this time.  Not this time, ok? This time you let us all in and you let us help you.  Your mom and dad made me promise to take care of you and I’ll never give up on that. So hang in there Taehyungie.  One of us,” Jin looks around the room staring at the faces of everyone who loves and cares for Taehyung and Jungkook, “will be a match.  Like Jungkook said, I can feel it.”

Taehyung looks around the room and then looks back at Jungkook.  He stares deep into the Alpha’s eyes.  He reaches up and runs his fingers on his mating mark as he smells vanilla around him and for the first time, he feels it too.

Hope.

Taehyung takes a deep breath and nods as he turns to Dr. Allen. “I'm ready.  I’m ready cause you know what? Fuck cancer.”

Jungkook smiles.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook quietly opens the door to the hospital room and peeks in.  He spots Taehyung cuddled into Yoongi as they read a book. He chuckles and shakes his head when he remembers back on how threatened he used to feel at the Alpha’s close relationship with the Omega.  He can’t believe how much things have changed. How much he’s changed, and he owes it all to him.  His beautiful mate.

“Jungkookie? You’re back,” smiles Taehyung widely reaching out for Jungkook.  Yoongi stretches and lets out a yawn as he hands Taehyung the book in his hands. 

“Hey Kook.  Did everyone leave?” Yoongi asks, letting out another small yawn.

“Hobi and Jimin did.  Joon and Jin are downstairs finishing up.  I just walked my parents out though.  They said they’ll be back tomorrow to visit you Baby.”

Taehyung smiles. ‘My parents.’ It’s the first time he’s ever heard Jungkook talk about his adoptive family in that way.  He doesn’t even think Jungkook realized he said it. 

“Are you staying with me tonight or…” Taehyung looks at Yoongi who instantly shakes his head.  

“I’m staying with you Tae,” Jungkook replies quickly making his way closer to Taehyung.  “Yoongi’s taking tomorrow night’s shift.  We all want to share you and there’s just not enough time in the day.  So shifts Princess.”

Taehyung pouts and looks at Yoongi. “But we didn’t finish,” he laments as he looks down at his book. Yoongi gives him a small shrug.

“It’s ok.  We can finish tomorrow.  It’s like a 2 page book Tae.  Besides it’s not like you don’t know what happens anyway.  I still say we should’ve read The Night of the Living Dummy instead,” Yoongi says with a frown. “I hate Carly Beth.  She’s annoying as fuck.”

Taehyung frowns back, “Are you kidding me? This is the supreme Goosebumps book AND tv episode.  I’ll fight you, Yoongi.  Hey...remember when my mom showed us that episode for the first time after reading us the book?” Taehyung looks down at the book in his hands and sighs.

“I do,” Yoongi replies sitting on the edge of the bed.  “We’ll watch it after we finish reading it again.  Maybe we can do a whole Goosebumps tv show marathon when you’re better.  Like your mom did with us that time.”

“Ok,” Taehyung quietly replies reaching over to place the book on his side table.  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Yoongs.”

Yoongi leans in and kisses Taehyung on the cheek. “Try to get some sleep tonight.  Kook, I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

Yoongi reaches the door as he hears a small “Love you Yoongs.” “Love you too Tae, good night.”

Taehyung turns to Jungkook and lifts his blanket up motioning for the Alpha to get in next to him.  Jungkook smiles and doesn’t hesitate.  “Aren’t those Goosebumps books kids books?”

Taehyung nods. “Yeah, they are.  I—I don’t know I was feeling a little nostalgic that’s all,” he replies as he leans in closer to Jungkook.  He looks down and runs a finger over the band aid on Jungkook’s arm.  “Did it hurt?”

“Nope. Just drew some blood.  Took a cheek swab too.  For everyone.  Real easy,” Jungkook says putting his arm around Taehyung. 

“Oh,” being the only thing Taehyung can think of saying.  He can’t put into words how grateful he is that everyone he loves is taking the time to be tested to see if they are a stem cell match and although he’s hopeful that “25%” keeps ringing in his head.  How seemingly impossible it is that this will work.

“Stop.  I can feel your emotions you know.  And I know I sound like a broken record, but Baby, I can smell you.  It’s going to work. I told you.  You just have to believe in the process,” Jungkook reassures him squeezing him tightly.

“Remember when you were an asshole pessimist? Can that Jungkook come back so that he can let me wallow in my misery for a bit?”

Jungkook squeezes Taehyung again and huffs. “NO! That asshole is deep and buried.  He’s been evicted and never coming back.  And I don’t want you wallowing in any misery Taehyung.  It’s not good for your health Baby.”

“Not good for my health?” scoffs Taehyung. “Jungkook, I’m dying.”

“Your mental health Tae. We need to keep that beautiful mind of yours healthy and positive.  It’ll help with recovery.  My therapist told me so.”

Taehyung looks up with a shocked expression. “You talk to your therapist about me?”

“Of course I do.  I talk about you a lot in there.  Tae, I talk about you with everyone.  I can’t help it.  I love you and you’re the most important person in my life.  It’s unavoidable, isn’t it?”

“I talk about you too.  To Dr. Abrams.  To everyone.  You’re my most important person too.”

Jungkook smiles widely, placing a finger under Taehyung’s chin to lift his face up slightly.  He leans down and kisses him, Taehyung instantly reciprocating with just as much intensity. 

“Kook...I am dying. You know that right? That...if this stem cell thing doesn’t work--”

“I know Tae.  I know.  And I told you before, I am fully ready to face this with you. To face whatever happens after-"

“I die.  Jungkook...say it.  I need you to say it.”

“Tae--”

“No, listen you need to be realistic.  You need to not gloss over this.  I’ve seen it with my own two eyes.  What it’ll be like for you when I die.  This isn’t going to be easy Jungkook. It’s going to be painful, and sad and desperate and you still have time to research, find someone--” Jungkook turns and cups Taehyung’s face in his hands.

“Stop! Taehyung stop.  Yes, if this doesn’t work you will die.  And so will I.  I know it’s going to be painful, but it’s going to be painful even if this bond didn’t exist.  Because not having you in this world would be fucking painful Taehyung. It’s going to hurt regardless.  And I don’t care.  I still wouldn’t change anything that’s happened.  I would a hundred times still make that same wish in that park years ago.  I would still mate you and choose you a hundred times over.  I won’t look into breaking my bond with you because I simply don’t want to.  I chose you.  You’re mine Taehyung and nothing can change it.  Not fate. Not fucking cancer. Not death. Not even you. So stop. Please.  I’m not trying to gloss over anything. I’m just honestly trying to enjoy whatever time we have left with each other.  All the while trying to stay as optimistic as possible because frankly Princess, your attitude is atrocious.”

Taehyung sniffles and wipes his eyes. “It is, isn’t it,” he mumbles.  He’s never been more thankful to Jungkook for making that wish years ago than he is now.  He reaches down and holds Jungkook’s hand and bends down kissing it.  “Thank you,” he whispers.

“Thank YOU. For teaching me what love means.  I will forever be grateful for that Taehyung,” Jungkook tearfully says as he caresses Taehyung hand in his.  “Tae...have you ever thought about marriage? Getting married I mean?”

Taehyung tilts his head and looks at Jungkook thinking about the question.  Marriage? If he’s being honest, he’s never really thought about it.  Considering his whole idea about soul mates and how much he never wanted one, thinking about ever getting married was never something he had thought was for him.  But now...

“I guess I never really thought it was in the cards for me...for a lot of different reasons Jungkook. But now--”

“Now?” asks Jungkook hopefully.

“I wouldn’t say no if you asked me Jungkookie.”

Jungkook smiles. “Good. Because I’m not asking right now,” Jungkook quickly adds making Taehyung frown and pout, “stop pouting,” he says as he playfully pokes Taehyung who lets out a giggle. “I’m not asking right now, but...” Jungkook glances over at the book Taehyung had set on the side table.  He slides off the bed and walks over to it and holds it up.  “I know this is probably sacrilegious to you, but...think I can rip two pages from the back of this--”

Taehyung’s eyes widen. Jungkook expected the offended look Taehyung is giving him right now. “Two pages that don’t have any writing on it.  I promise.  Two pages you won’t miss, and I promise it will be worth it.”

Taehyung leans back into the bed and nods apprehensively. “It’s my mom’s book Jungkookie.  Please be mindful of that.”

Jungkook carefully flips through the book and settles on a front page and a back page. “I will Baby, don’t worry.”  He carefully tears them out, making sure he doesn’t ruin any other pages of the book or the book itself.  He sets it back down and turns his back to Taehyung not yet wanting him to see what he’s about to do.  Taehyung tries to prop himself up on the bed to try to crane his neck as much as he can to peek at what Jungkook’s doing, but the weakness in his body keeps him from moving anymore.

“Stop trying to peek Princess.  I’ll be done in a second,” Jungkook responds amused at his impatient mate. He finishes up and walks back to Taehyung sitting on the edge of the bed.  His hand is fisted, and Taehyung knows he’s clearly hiding whatever he was doing with the pages in his hand. 

“Taehyung, my mate, my omega, my Princess,” Jungkook starts making Taehyung giggle at his silliness. “With this ring,” Jungkook opens his fist and shows Taehyung a small ring made out of paper...the book page to be exact, and his eyes grow into large, surprised saucers.

“Jungkook, what--”

“Don’t interrupt Baby, I’m saying my vows.  You’ll get your turn in a minute,” Jungkook leans in and places a kiss on Taehyung’s forehead, “My omega, always so impatient.” Taehyung purses his lips and smiles slightly. “As I was saying, with this ring I thee wed.” Taehyung giggles again and smiles widely. Jungkook takes Taehyung’s left hand and carefully places the paper ring on his finger. “I promise to love and cherish you. In sickness and in health.  Through all of life’s craziness now and forever.” He leans down and kisses Taehyung’s finger and smiles. “Here,” he says offering Taehyung the other paper ring. Taehyung accepts the ring and takes Jungkook’s hand.

“Jungkookie...with this ring I thee wed. I promise to love and cherish you. In sickness and in health. I promise to always support and care for you as long as I draw breathe,” Taehyung says as he places the ring on Jungkook’s finger. He leans in and does the same as Jungkook placing a small kiss on his finger.

“With the power NOT invested in me because I am not an ordained officiant of any kind, but I don’t really care,” Jungkook says making Taehyung laugh loudly, “we are now fake married. Although it’s very real to me.  It’s a pre-marriage for the real thing some day.  A practice promise marriage for our future.”

Taehyung giggles and throws his arms around Jungkook kissing him. Jungkook wraps his arms around him as well hugging him tightly.  “This was the best fake marriage ever Jungkookie! I can’t wait for the real thing someday!”

Jungkook smiles into Taehyung’s shoulder. “Me too Baby. Me too.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“No one was a match.  That has to be the reason he asked all of you to be here in my room—“

“Taehyung,” Jin replies sternly. “You don’t know that.”

Jungkook frowns as he looks around the room.  He can see the looks of concern, of worry, of…fear everyone is holding on to especially Taehyung.

“Why else would he have you all come here like this? He probably wants to have you all here for moral support for me or something,” Taehyung replies turning the paper ring on his finger.  He turns and catches Jungkook’s gaze.  He wishes he hadn’t.  He looks terrified.

“Taehyung, you’re overreacting honey without even knowing anything for sure,” Bok-soon responds. “We all need to stay positive.”

Taehyung lets out a scoff and feels Jungkook reach for his hand just as the door to his hospital room swings open.

“Hi everyone! Sorry to keep you all waiting like this.  Everyone here?” Dr. Allen asks as he takes a quick scan of the room.

“Yes,” Jungkook quickly responds squeezing Taehyung’s hand. 

“Great! Now I asked you all here because—“

“You didn’t find a match, did you? No one here matches with me?” Taehyung responds voice shaking and unrecognizable to himself.  He’s so tired.  For the last couple of days he has been receiving blood transfusions and various other meds to curb his worsening symptoms. He’s never felt this sick before and he really is wondering how much longer he can hold on.

“Tae…just let the doctor talk,” Yoongi interjects.

“Why? So he can tell me what I already know,” Taehyung looks down at his ring again avoiding everyone’s heavy gazes.

Dr. Allen sighs.  “On the contrary, I asked you all here because I have good news.”

Jungkook can feel his heart rate accelerate.  He grips onto Taehyung’s hand even tighter. “One of us was a match?” he asks impatiently, but hopefully.

“Yes.”

Audible gasps can be heard around the room.  Jungkook turns to see Taehyung’s eyes widen in shock.  “Who? Who was it?” Jungkook asks quickly.

“You,” Dr. Allen responds smiling widely.  “It was you Jungkook.”

Taehyung gasps gripping Jungkook’s wrist. “Are you sure? Jungkook—he’s really a match for me?”

Dr. Allen nods. “Not only is he a match…Taehyung, I—I don’t even know how to explain this. I’ve never seen anything like this before,” Dr. Allen replies shaking his head. “None of us have to be honest.

Jin turns to give Namjoon a quizzical look. “What? How close a match are they?”

“99%,” Dr. Allen responds almost in disbelief. “They’re a 99% match.  It’s—a rarity.  Something we don’t necessarily see in nonfamily members. Actually…it’s something we rarely even see in family members as well.  It’s remarkable.”

“What?! 99%?!”

Taehyung looks at Jungkook who looks just as shocked. “Jungkookie…” Taehyung says quietly, tears in his eyes. Jungkook turns and hugs him tightly.

“I told you.  I chose you Baby.  And you chose me.  Fate tried, but we beat it out.  We made our own fate.  You and me.  We were always meant to be regardless of everything.  I told you,” Jungkook cries into Taehyung’s shoulder.

Jin sniffles as everyone around him sobs quietly as they watch Taehyung and Jungkook. “What happens now?” Jin asks.

“Now we prepare you both for the procedure itself.  We found a match, but now the real work begins.  We have yet to see if Taehyung will accept the stem cells and form healthy ones.”

“He will,” Jungkook responds smiling, looking happily at Taehyung.  “He will.  I know you will.  I’ll make it real Princess,” Jungkook says as he twirls the paper ring on Taehyung’s finger.  “I’ll make it real once you’re all better,” he whispers. Taehyung smiles and gives him a small nod.

“What does the procedure entail?” Joong-ki asks. 

“The stem cells used come from the liquid center of the bone, called the marrow. The procedure for obtaining bone marrow is called harvesting. The donor is given either general anesthesia, which puts the person to sleep during the procedure, or regional anesthesia, which causes loss of feeling below the waist. Needles are inserted through the skin over the pelvic hip bone and into the bone marrow to draw the marrow out of the bone. Harvesting the marrow takes about an hour. The harvested bone marrow is then processed to remove blood and bone fragments.”

“How does Taehyung receive it once I donate the marrow?” Jungkook asks.

“He’ll receive it intravenously along with another blood transfusion.  You’ll have to stay in the hospital for the next couple of months Taehyung.  We’ll be checking your blood counts a few times a week to ensure that they are increasing.”

“And if they don’t,” Taehyung asks making Jungkook and everyone around them sigh.

“I swear Baby.  I’m going to change that negative attitude of yours if it’s the last thing I do,” Jungkook says half joking. 

“He’s right Tae.  Think positive,” Yoongi adds.

Taehyung nods and leans back into his pillow. “Ok.  Ok Dr. Allen.  I’ll stay positive.  I’ll try Jungkookie.”

“Good,” Jungkook beams. “When can I get the procedure done? How soon? Can it be done today?”

“Tomorrow morning.  I have you scheduled for tomorrow morning.  You’ll need to stay overnight in the hospital after the procedure as it can be quite painful after.  But don’t worry, we will monitor you and help with any remaining pain.”

“Once the stem cells are harvested and ready, Taehyung it will take about 5 hours for you to have the transplant completed.  But as I said before, it’s all intravenous with no pain.  After entering the bloodstream, the stem cells travel to the bone marrow, where they begin to produce new white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets in a process known as engraftment. Engraftment usually occurs within about 2 to 4 weeks after transplantation. We’ll monitor it as I mentioned already by checking blood counts on a frequent basis. Complete recovery of immune function takes much longer, however—up to several months so you need to be patient with your health and its recovery.  It might be a while until you start feeling yourself again. I’ll evaluate the results of various blood tests to confirm that new blood cells are being produced and that the cancer has not returned once it goes into remission.”

“What are the side effects, if any?” Jin asks concerned.

“There are always side effects,” groans Taehyung.

“The major risk in this particular procedure is an increased susceptibility to infection and bleeding as a result of the high-dose cancer treatment. I may have to prescribe antibiotics to prevent or treat any infection that might arise.”

Jungkook wraps an arm around Taehyung releasing his scent as the smell pf burnt pie overtakes the room.

“Might Taehyung.  It doesn’t mean it will happen.  We’ll be giving you continued transfusions of platelets to prevent bleeding and red blood cells to treat anemia. And just like the last time the same side effects continue to apply unfortunately.  So be prepared to experience nausea, vomiting, fatigue, loss of appetite, and mouth sores. But we will counteract those symptoms as best we can while you recover.”

“The most important thing you have to do Taehyungie is stay positive,” Jin says coming to sit on the edge of the bed by Taehyung. “What we thought would be impossible, the hardest part, finding a donor has exceeded all of our expectations.  Jungkook is right.  You and him.  You two,” Jin reaches out to hold Jungkook, “together will beat this thing.  I fully believe that.  That bond of yours.  It’s something else.”

Jungkook looks at Taehyung and smiles.  Taehyung smiles back and looks into his eyes.  “I believe it too.  And I’m ready.  Ready to live my life again…with you by my side.  Healthy and determined.”

“That’s the Taehyung I fell in love with. Cause fuck cancer Princess.”

“Fuck cancer!” Taehyung hears the whole room yell making him giggle. Yeah. Fuck cancer.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung looks up and sees the noticeable frown on Jungkook’s face.  It’s been 2 weeks since the stem cell procedure and although the side effects continue to kick his ass Taehyung’s blood count has remained steady.  Maybe not moving up as quickly and as they had assumed it would, but as Dr. Allen has pointed out it could take almost 2 months for that to happen, and it’s only been 2 weeks. 

“Jungkookie…you’re disappointing me right now.  Just say it,” Taehyung says pouting up at the Alpha.

Jungkook frowns again looking down at Taehyung, sitting up slightly in Taehyung’s hospital bed. “Baby…this fucking show sucks.  Honestly, you actually like this?” Jungkook shakes his head and frowns again.  “People in the 80s were crazy,” he says shaking his head at the laptop screen.

“Watch your mouth Alpha.  This show is a classic and I won’t have you insulting it.  I mean hidden alien lizards trying to take over the world…how can you say it’s not great?!” Taehyung pushes Jungkook slightly off him and huffs.  “You have no taste in anything.”

Jungkook smirks, “Maybe. I did choose you after all.”

Taehyung glares at the Alpha and pushes him harshly.  “I hate you.”

Jungkook smirks again. “No you don’t.” Jungkook glances at the door and moves closer to Taehyung. “Baby…have I told you that since you started to gain some weight back it’s sort of filling out in certain areas more than others.” Jungkook reaches around grips at Taehyung’s ass through the hospital bed sheet making him yelp.

“Jungkook! Behave yourself! I have nurses coming in and out here all day! We can’t! Besides Dr. Allen said we couldn’t.  That I’m not strong enough yet for any stressful exertions.”

“You wouldn’t even have to do anything.  I would take care of you,” Jungkook leans in nosing at Taehyung’s mating mark.

“As tempting as that sounds Alpha, we can’t, and you know it.  The last thing I want to do is get caught by Doris or someone else because if the cancer doesn’t kill me, the embarrassment will. Keep your hands to yourself Jungkook.  Besides I’m not feeling too sexy anyway.  I’m so fucking nauseous and I feel like I got hit by a truck.  Believe me, I would be no fun even if we could do something.”

Jungkook groans and buries his head deep into Taehyung’s pillow. “Remember way back when once upon time when I was refusing to have sex with you like a fucking moron.  Well, fuck!” Jungkook groans again, “am I ever regretting that now.”

Taehyung let’s out a small chuckle.  “Don’t worry.  Once I’m all better we can have sex all the time whenever we want.”

Jungkook looks up and tilts his head. “What?” Taehyung asks.

“Nothing…its just that you make me happy.  So happy with the way you’ve been talking lately.”

Taehyung scrunches his brows. “How have I been talking?”

“Like you believe you’ll get better.  Like you finally see a future with me.  You have no idea how happy that makes me feel Taehyung.” Taehyung leans down and kisses Jungkook sweetly on the lips. 

“That’s because I do believe.  I told you.  I believe it now.  I may still feel like shit, but I don’t know, you matching with me the way you did made me believe that maybe us being soul mates wasn’t so much a curse after all.  That maybe we can be the anomaly and make this super soulmate thing work out.”

“If only my super soulmate didn’t have such shit taste in tv shows,” says Jungkook cringing. “Can we read instead?” Jungkook reaches for the familiar book by the nightstand setting it on his lap as he turns to fluff Taehyung’s pillows for him. “I finished it you know. A couple of nights ago when you were sleeping.  I—couldn’t sleep.  I sat by the window and read. And read. Until I finished it.  I know why it’s your favorite book and why it was your mother’s too.  It’s enchanting.  I really loved it.”

Taehyung’s eyes twinkle.  “Wait…why couldn’t you sleep? Are you ok? What’s going on?”

Jungkook shifts uncomfortably in bed. “I heard…Jack. He was drunk and got struck by a car.”

Taehyung sits up, eyes large and surprised. “Oh my God Jungkook.  Is he…”

“Yeah.  He is.”

Taehyung wraps his arms around Jungkook’s bicep pulling him closer.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jungkook looks down and snorts, “Tae, you have enough to worry about.  I didn’t want to add to it.”

Taehyung holds on tighter. “No. That’s not how this works.  Jungkook, you don’t push aside your things, your feelings for me.  You matter too.  Not just what I’m going through matters.  Jungkookie, how you feel and what you go through matters too.  You need to tell me stuff.  I want to be here for you too.”

Jungkook relaxes as the smell of apple pie releases around him. “You’re getting better at that.”

Taehyung smiles. “I have a good teacher.” Taehyung rests his head on Jungkook’s shoulder. “How do you feel…now that he’s dead.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath as he thinks about the question. “Nothing.  I don’t really feel anything.  I let him have so many of my feelings Tae.  He controlled so much of what I felt for so long and all of it was so negative.  So much anger.  I think back to that Jungkook, and I don’t even recognize him.  I’m relieved, I guess.  Relieved that I can let go of the remainder of those hurtful feelings and move on.  I’m not that scared kid anymore.  I’m stronger now. Not just physically, but mentally too.  I’ve grown in so many ways.”

“I’m proud of you Jungkook. We all are.  I’m proud to call you my Alpha.  My soul mate.”

“Super soulmate,” Jungkook corrects.

“Right. Of course,” Taehyung says giggling.  "Jungkook…when are you going to go back to fighting?”

“Tae—”

“No listen, I just—I think that maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to go back to the gym and start exercising, training again.  Maybe tell Jimin to put some feelers out to opponents—”

Jungkook sighs. “Taehyung.  I’m not going back anytime soon.  You have a long way to go Baby.  You aren’t even in remission yet.  Boxing is the least of my worries or priorities right now.”

“Ok fine. But promise me the second I start getting better, really better, you’ll go back to training and focusing on your career again.  Promise me.”

“As long as I have the best and my most favorite physical therapist by my side.”

Taehyung holds out his pinky finger and smiles. “Deal!”

Jungkook giggles as he intertwines his pinky with Taehyung’s. “Deal.”

Taehyung cuddles into Jungkook holding out the book to him waiting for him to settle in and start reading. Jungkook takes the book and opens it settling back next to Taehyung.

“By the way, just because we’re pausing the show doesn’t mean we aren’t going back to it.  We’re finishing it Jungkook.”

Jungkook lets out a groan.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“You’re letting me go out?” Taehyung asks incredulously.  It’s been a month since the procedure and although Taehyung’s cancer is still not yet in remission, he’s starting to feel better.  His symptoms seem to slowly be subsiding a bit and his blood counts continue to show improvement.

“You aren’t showing any signs of infection.  Your anemia finally seems to be under control and side effects are more manageable. Yes, Taehyung.  I’m giving you the all clear to leave the hospital for a bit,” Dr. Allen says happily. “But you need to come back.  We still need to continue to monitor your blood counts every other day and unfortunately you are not in remission.  I need you back in the hospital, but I see no problem in you going home for a few days. Unless you’d rather not—”

“I want to! I do! I want to go home for a bit. Does Jungkook know?”

Dr. Allen chuckles. “Yes.  I told him this morning when I ran into him in the hallway.  I believe that’s why he’s not here now.  He told me he needed to go and get things ready for you.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes but is utterly endeared by his Alpha.  “Of course he did.”

Yoongi is waiting outside for you.  You’ll need to review some paperwork and then you can be on your way.  But I expect you to be back Monday morning Taehyung for a blood count.  No exceptions.”

“I’ll be here. Don’t worry.” Taehyung startles when he hears the hospital room door open.  Yoongi peeks his head in.

“Morning! Ready to go,” Yoongi asks entering the room.

“I am! Are you taking us home?”

Yoongi nods as he picks up Taehyung’s suitcase. “Jungkook is like a mad man cleaning and getting your room ready for you.  I swear, I still can’t believe this is the same Jungkook who hated our guts.

“He didn’t hate us,” Taehyung says snorting.  “It’s called character development Yoongs.  And I for one am proud of my Alpha.  Now come on, please get me out of this hospital and finally home.  I can’t wait to see everyone outside of these four walls.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung falls back on his couch after having said goodbye to Jimin and Hobi.  He was greeted back with a little mini welcome back party, and he had loved every second of it, but per usual his body has given up exhausted and feeling a bit dizzy. He leans his head back on the couch and closes his eyes.  He doesn’t even realize he’s fallen asleep until he feels a soft hand against his cheek.

“Tae…Baby…wake up. Come on.  I’ll help you to bed.”

“Jungkookie? I wanted to help you clean up,” Taehyung replies struggling to open his eyes, feeling a little disoriented.

“Pfft, no way were you going to help.  May I remind you that per Dr. Allen you are still sick and under strict orders to continue to take it easy.  No stress.  No over doing it.  Yoongi helped me anyway.”

Taehyung sits up and looks around.  It feels so nice to be back home.  It feels surreal to be back here.  “Is Jin still here?”

“No.  He’s staying at Joon’s.  Yoongi is off to work too.  He didn’t want to wake you.  He said he’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Jungkook slips an arm around Taehyung lifting him up, guiding him down the hallway into his room.  He hesitates and turns to look at Taehyung.

Taehyung sags against him feeling more than tired.  “What’s wrong? I really would like to lie down now Jungkookie.  I feel a little out of breath,” Taehyung says gripping onto Jungkook’s shirt.

“I have a surprise for you,” Jungkook says, slight flush on his face.

“Jungkook…you know I still can’t have sex.  The surprise better not be some cute lingerie and you wanting us to—”

Jungkook huffs, appalled that Taehyung would suggest such a thing. “I will have you know that I have self-control my dear Omega.” Taehyung laughs and nods. “No, but seriously Tae.  I know that.  And not having sex, although it sucks, it’s not the end of the world.  The fact that you’re home for a few days and that I get to hold you in a setting that’s not a hospital is everything to me.  I—I’m just really happy to have you home.” Jungkook wipes at his eyes and sucks in a breath.  Taehyung cups his face and places a kiss on the tip of his nose.

“Me too Jungkookie.  I’m glad to be home with you too.”

Jungkook takes his hand and opens Taehyung’s bedroom door stepping aside so that Taehyung can enter.  What Taehyung sees makes his knees buckle.  His whole room is covered with sunflowers.  Twinkling lights illuminating the hundreds of sunflowers that adorn the room.

“Oh my god…Jungkook.  This is—” Taehyung turns to Jungkook who looks at him with so much love.  So much intense adoration.  “You—” Taehyung bites his lip and looks around his room.  Jungkook walks up to him and takes his hand.

“Me, what?”

“I never saw it before.  I only just noticed it. But…”

“What? Tae what?”

“You look at me how he looked at her.  You look at me just how my dad used to look at my mom.”

Jungkook smiles and sighs. He raises his hand, cupping Taehyung’s cheek.  “Of course I do.  I love you.  I love you more than anything.”

Taehyung’s eyes water as he looks deep into Jungkook’s eyes.  He looks around his room again and walks to his bed.  He leans into a bouquet of sunflowers that sit on his nightstand and inhales.  “I didn’t think I would ever be back here again,” he says as he sits on his bed. “I swear to you Jungkook I thought I would never be able to step foot in this room again.  I was so prepared for it. For what I thought was the inevitable.”

Jungkook walks to Taehyung and sits by him on the bed. “And now?”

Taehyung sighs and turns to look at Jungkook. “Move in with me.”

“What?” Jungkook asks confused.

“Move. In. With. Me.”

Jungkook sits and stares at Taehyung trying to process the request making Taehyung chuckle.

“Jin told me he’s moving in with Namjoon.  Did you know that?” Jungkook shakes his head.  “He is.  And Yoongi told me that he wants to start transitioning out and finding his own place. And I—well I want you to move in with me.  I want us to be together and live together.  To start to form a real life together.”

Jungkook looks down and shakes his head.  Taehyung starts to panic thinking maybe he overstepped.  Maybe he is pushing, moving too fast for Jungkook. “Kook, if you don’t want to, we don’t have to.  I—”

“I want to! God, Taehyung I want to so much, I do Baby.  Nothing makes me happier than to hear you want to live with me.  That you want to start a life together.”

“Are you sure? Because I would understand—”

“You’ll never understand.  That’s the thing.  You will never understand how deep my feelings for you run Taehyung.  You’ll never really understand what I felt that night in Glen when I met you.  What it felt like to think I—” Jungkook holds back tears, “I though I was going to lose you.”

“Jungkook—” Taehyung hugs Jungkook tightly.

“Sometimes I’m afraid to go to sleep and wake up again in case everything, you, were all a dream.  I’m so afraid I dreamt this. Us.  And that one day I’m going to wake up to those early days in the gym.  Both of us throwing insults at each other and so far apart.  It scares me so much.”

“It’s not a dream Jungkookie.  It’s not.  I’m here.  And so are you.  Together.  And you won’t lose me.  I refuse to give up and not fight this thing to the end.  To a happy ending.  Not a sad one.  We’ve both lived so unhappily for so many years.  Don’t you think it’s finally time we live happily…together.  Move in with me Alpha.”

Jungkook turns and he honestly thinks he will never tire of Taehyung’s beauty.  “Absolutely.  I will 100% move in with you.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

3 months later

Taehyung sits in the doctor’s office chair, knee bopping up and down from nerves. Jungkook places a hand on his knee trying to settle it down. 

“Baby, relax.  Your scent is suffocating me right now.  You have to control it,” Jungkook says scrunching his nose.

“Sorry. Sorry Jungkookie,” Taehyung responds biting his nail. He looks around eyes falling on Jin and Namjoon who are leaning against the wall looking just as nervous.  He feels a hand on his shoulder, and he looks up to see Yoongi give him a wink and a small smile.  Yoongi plops himself down on the floor next to Taehyung and rests his head against Taehyung’s knee. 

The door to the office opens and Dr. Allen walks in holding a manila folder.  “Morning everyone,” he happily says as he sits behind his desk. “How are you feeling today Taehyung?”

“Good. Great actually.  I’ve been feeling a lot better lately.”

“100% better,” Jungkook interjects. “We’ve been taking walks everyday and he hasn’t been feeling winded anymore.  That’s good right? That’s a good sign?” Jungkook asks, turning to look at Taehyung hoping that the reason Dr. Allen asked them to come in today was a good one.

“I’m not surprised to be honest.  Tae, I have here the results to your recent blood count.”

Taehyung tenses in his chair.  He has been feeling so much better.  He continues to receive lowers doses of chemo, but he’s been able to handle the side effects better and his blood counts have been steadily rising.  He’s even been able to be at home fully now and only comes back to the hospital for transfusions and treatments.  All with Jungkook by his side.  Faithfully supporting and loving him through it all.

“I—I feel like he’s getting better,” Jungkook quickly adds.  He looks at Taehyung and squeezes his hand.  “I haven’t been feeling that pain in my chest recently and his scent is back to normal again.” Jungkook isn’t sure why he’s saying any of this other than maybe he feels he can convince Dr. Allen that the treatment is working because it is working.  He’s sure of it.  He looks at Taehyung who looks fearfully back.  Jungkook gives him a small smile.  He knows the treatment is working…it has to.  He’s not really sure what he’ll do if it isn’t.

Dr. Allen gives him a warm smile.  “You’re right it is.”

“What?” Jin asks, pushing back from the wall and walking closer to his nephew.

Dr. Allen chuckles. “You’re right Jungkook.  It is working.  More accurately it has worked.”

“I don’t understand,” Taehyung says eyebrows furrowed.

“Congratulations Taehyung. You’re in remission.”

Taehyung can hear gasps all around him.  He suddenly feels arms lifting him and hugging him tightly.  He looks into big doe eyes.  He can’t hear a thing.  Can’t seem to process anything going on around him.

“Baby! Baby! You’re in remission! You’re ok! You’re healthy!” Jungkook yells, holding Taehyung tightly.  Taehyung blinks, finally registering what Jungkook is seemingly trying to tell him. He looks around and sees Jin happily crying tears of joy hugging Namjoon as Yoongi stares at him with a wide smile on his face.  Taehyung locks eyes with Jungkook again.

“I—I—I’m in remission?” he asks in disbelief.

“You are,” Dr. Allen responds laughing.  “You are officially in remission.”

Taehyung looks back at Jungkook who still has him held tightly in his arms. He cups Jungkook’s face as he watches tears fall down his cheeks.

“I love you! I love you Jungkook!” he says into Jungkook’s face making the latter gasp and laugh happily. “I love you! I love you so much!”

Jungkook leans in and kisses Taehyung with everything he has. 

“I love you! I love you,” Taehyung repeats over and over.

Jungkook has waited so long to hear those words.  Hoping and praying for the day Taehyung would be healthy enough to say them.  He’s never heard words more beautiful in his life.

“I love you! I love you so much Jungkookie!”

“I love you too,” Jungkook says back holding Taehyung close.  “I love you so much too Princess.

Chapter Text

“I’m really in remission?” asks Taehyung again staring at Dr. Allen in utter disbelief.  He’s waiting for the part when he wakes up or he’s told this is all some elaborate prank.  Because there is no way this actually worked…right?

Dr. Allen can’t help but smile at Taehyung’s reaction.  He understands the apprehension to believe this is possible especially since he can’t seem to explain it himself.  “You are 100% in full remission.  In fact,” Dr. Allen hesitates and looks down at the paperwork in front of him.

“What? What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks feeling a slight panic. 

“Nothing.  Absolutely nothing is wrong.  You’re healthy Taehyung.  Your blood count is normal and when I say normal, I mean beyond normal for someone who just went through one of the most rigorous cancer treatments I’ve ever put a patient on.  I can’t explain it.  My colleagues can’t explain it either.  It’s beyond medical explanation.”

Jin grips Taehyung’s shoulder and releases a breath.  Taehyung looks up at him, eyes wide in shock. Jin clears his throat as he tries to process all the sudden information. “Is—is he cured?”

Taehyung closes his eyes and holds his breath.

Dr. Allen hesitates. “I—I can’t put it in those terms.  There has never been anyone who has been “cured” from this disease, but…this comes really close Taehyung.  Really darn close.  Like I said, I’ve never seen anything like this.”

Jungkook smiles as Taehyung releases the breath he was holding.  He turns to look at his mate who still looks on in shock.  He can’t wait to really start his life with his beautiful boy.  “What happens now?” Jungkook asks Dr. Allen as Taehyung looks on silently still trying to wrap his head around everything.

“Now, we can stop the treatments.  And I’d like to put you on maintenance meds for at least a year, although, if I’m being truthful, I don’t believe they’re even necessary.  Let’s aim for 6 months and see how your blood platelets continue to be.”

“Will I…” Taehyung sighs, “am I going to lose my sense of smell again? Taste?” He looks anxiously at Jungkook who gives him a look. “Not that it matters much I guess in the grand scheme of things, but it did cause me a lot of problems before…A LOT of problems,” he mumbles glancing at Jungkook who rolls his eyes.

“We can try something different.  My intention is not to put you on anything too strong, too invasive.  Frankly, I don’t believe it’s needed.  It’s merely a precaution at this point. We’ll find a solution that won’t impact your life too much Taehyung.  I’d say you’ve had enough of that to last you a lifetime.”

Taehyung nods and smiles.

“I need you to stop at the nurse’s station.  You need to sign discharge paperwork. And I know there’s a particular nurse who is very impatient to see you. Congratulations Taehyung. To all of you.  It’s time you leave this hospital, celebrate, and really go out there and live.”

Taehyung smiles widely reaching for Jungkook’s hand.  “I am.  Believe me I intend to.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung walks down the hall hand in hand with Jungkook followed by Jin, Namjoon, and Yoongi.  He glances at the patient room doors and takes in the hallway.  The hallway and unit that he was so sure would be the last places he would ever see in his life.  Jungkook squeezes his hand in support. “You’re healthy Tae.  It’s real.  Let yourself feel and believe it.  You’re going home Baby.” Taehyung smiles and nods as he makes his way to the nursing station.  He is given paperwork to sign and packets upon packets of information.

“There he is.”

Taehyung smiles, “Doris.”

“Going home, huh?”

“Can you believe it?” Taehyung says shaking his head.

“Yes. And he did too,” Doris replies looking at Jungkook. She reaches out and takes Taehyung by the hand pulling him into a hug.  Taehyung hugs her back tightly trying not to cry.

“I—I really don’t know how I could’ve made it through all of this without you by my side Doris.  Thank you.  You have no idea how much you mean to me.”

“None of that.  I was just doing my job,” she says as she squeezes tighter.  It may be her job, but Doris can’t deny that Taehyung has taken a very special place in her heart. “I intend on being invited to the wedding you know,” she says as she pulls back from Taehyung who blushes red.

“Of course you will! Are you kidding?!” Jungkook moves forward and gives her a strong hug as well. “You didn’t only help him, support him…you helped me.  So much.  And I will be eternally grateful for that.”

Doris sniffles, pulls back, and nods. “Well then, there’s only one thing left to do.”  She walks to the wall across from the nurse’s station and smiles.  Taehyung takes a deep breath and closes his eyes just as Doris rings the brass bell hanging on the wall.

She rings it hard and continuously as patient room doors open making way to those who are currently in treatment.  Doctors make their way out along with nurses who all stand and cheer, and yell, and applaud at Taehyung.  Jungkook smiles brightly, gently pushing Taehyung to stand alone in the middle of the hallway as cheers rain around him.  He applauds and cheers along with everyone else as he stares deep into the eyes of the boy he has given his life and his heart to.

Taehyung no longer being able to contain it lets out a happy sob as he looks around.  He lets the sound of the bell ring though his ears, reverberate through his body and settle in his heart.  He did it. 

Fuck Cancer!

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“If I had known that both of you had become so good at Mario Kart while I was sick, I wouldn’t have played with you! You little sneaks.  You’re teaming up against me to win,” Taehyung exclaims pouting at the tv.

Tiny giggles can be heard next to him as he rolls his eyes.  “You just need to practice more again.  You’ve been out of commission,” Alex says laughing, nudging Max.

“Yeah Tae, we’ll give you time to practice more before we play again next time,” Max teases.

“Yeah, yeah,” Taehyung replies smiling.  Taehyung feels his phone vibrate in his pocket.  He pulls it out and smiles.  “Hang on a sec guys.”

Alex rolls his eyes, “It has to be Jungkook.  Look at the goofy smile he has on his face.”

Max giggles and nods.  “Tell him we said hi.”

Taehyung nods and opens the text.

“I’m sorry to do this boys, but I have to cut this short.  But I promise we’ll meet up again soon and next time I’ll be prepared.  Just wait and see.” He’s knocked back as both Alex and Max slam into him giving him a big hug. He wraps his arms around them both and sighs happily. 

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung walks up to the familiar door and can’t help but smile at it.  It’s his first time back here since he left the hospital.  Jungkook has been reluctant to return to train but has slowly begun to increase his exercise routine outside of the gym.  Taehyung isn’t really sure where the apprehension to return to training is coming from.  Taehyung is healthy.  Feeling great in fact and Jungkook really has no reason to hold back on his career anymore.  Taehyung has tried to ask him about it, but Jungkook just tells him he’s just not ready yet, but that he will be, soon.  “Maybe this means he’s ready,” Taehyung says happily out loud as he pulls the heavy double doors to the gym and enters. 

He jumps as the doors slam behind him making him grimace. He looks to see Jungkook, Namjoon, Hobi, and Jimin all look up at him and it feels oddly comforting to be back here again. “Joon, don’t you think it’s time to fix those doors already.  They’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days,” Taehyung says as Jungkook takes his hand and pulls him to sit on his lap.  Taehyung smiles and turns to give his Alpha a hug and a kiss.

“Hi Jungkookie.”

“Hi Princess,” Jungkook replies, inhaling Taehyung’s scent. 

Jimin rolls his eyes and sighs.  “Hi to you too Tae.  And you guys were gone from each other for just the morning. You two are gross.”

“Fuck off Jimin—“

“Jungkookie, no. Be nice to Jimin,” Taehyung says frowning at Jungkook who glares at Jimin.

“Fine. Sorry,” Jungkook replies, nosing at Taehyung’s mating mark. 

“I accept your apology.  And you should be nicer to me Jungkook considering what an exceptional manager I am. So exceptional, that I, manager extraordinaire, booked you a fight!”

Jungkook’s eyes widen in surprise as does Taehyung’s who bursts into applause and turns to hug Jungkook who tenses in his hold.  Taehyung frowns and pulls back as he stares into the face and eyes of his mate.  He tilts his head and silently tries to read Jungkook.  And that’s when he sees it. The apprehension.  Jungkook should be happy about this…but he’s not.

“That’s amazing news Jimin!” remarks Namjoon. “Right Kook?!”

Jungkook gives a slight nod, “Yeah, great news.” Taehyung frowns as he watches Jungkook and focuses on his scent.  He’s definitely not happy about this. 

“When? Who is it?” Hobi asks in anticipation.

“6 months from now. And wait till you hear who wants to fight you…Tony Baer.”

Jungkook’s gaze shoots to Jimin, eyes wide. “Tony? Tony Baer? Are you serious?”

Namjoon gives Jimin an incredulous look as well. “Jimin that’s impossible.  He wants to fight Jungkook? Jungkook who has been on hiatus? When you said you booked him a fight, I thought you meant local.  Starting him out slow again. Not Baer.”

Taehyung looks at everyone confused. “Who’s Tony Baer?”

“The current welterweight champion,” Jungkook replies in a monotone voice.

“What? You’re kidding? A title fight? That’s amazing! Right?” Taehyung asks Jungkook who silently nods.

“It’s beyond amazing! I guess he had wanted to fight Jungkook for a while but then everything happened and Kook took the break.  Tony fought and won his title.  Now he wants a shot at Kook.”

“Like when Apollo gave Rocky a title shot?”

Jungkook can’t help chuckle and shake his head looking at Taehyung who will never fail to draw a laugh out of him. Taehyung smiles after finally being able to pull a reaction from his boyfriend, but still not fully satisfied at the Alpha’s scent. 

“What an opportunity Jungkook! Ok, tape him up Hobes,” Namjoon says, already in work mode.

Jungkook’s mouth drops as he stares at Namjoon then Hobi. “Now?!”

“Yes now! If not now when?”

“Tomorrow,” Jungkook groans, “can’t I start tomorrow?”

Taehyung takes a deep breath in and smells Jungkook’s scent souring.  He scrunches his nose. “Maybe starting tomorrow is the better option Joon.  It’s late—“ Taehyung says taking Jungkook’s hand in his and squeezing it tightly.

“Late?” scoffs Namjoon.  “It’s the afternoon.  Tape him up Hobi.  Let’s get started. Jungkook, I want you in the ring in the next 10 minutes!” Namjoon yells as he walks back into the office.

Taehyung wrinkles his forehead in worry as he turns to look at Jungkook. “Are you sure you want to do this? Jungkookie, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Why wouldn’t I want to.  I’m fine.  Of course I’ll start today.”

“But—I can smell you…damn it feels so good for ME to finally say that to YOU,” Taehyung says.

Jungkook smiles slightly pulling Taehyung close.  “I’m fine Baby, believe me.  It’s just nerves nothing more.  A little anxiety starting up again after being gone.  I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Taehyung asks again, not entirely convinced.

“Positive.  But I do have one request,” Jungkook asks leaning and placing a small kiss on the tip of Taehyung’s nose making him giggle.

“Anything.”

“Will you take your stool and place it back where it belongs? With you right along with it? Like the old days? Like you used to do before everything turned so shitty,” he asks reaching up to caress Taehyung’s cheek.

“Absolutely.  I’ll sit right on my stool and watch you.  I love you,” Taehyung tells Jungkook and leans in kissing him softly.

“I will never tire of hearing those words from you.”

Taehyung smiles, “Good.  Because I will never tire of telling them to you.”

“JUNGKOOK IN THE RING NOW!” Namjoon yells glaring at Jungkook from inside the ring.

Jungkook grits his teeth and clenches his jaw, “Fucking Joon.”

“Good luck Jungkookie.  I’ll give you a nice massage later when you’re done,” Taehyung tells him with a slight smirk making Jungkook raise his eyebrows.

“JUNGKOOK! ENOUGH WITH THE LOVEY DOVEY SHIT! GET IN HERE!”

“Fucking Joon!”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung groans and rolls his eyes for what must be the hundredth time.  It’s been a little over an hour since Jungkook started training and Namjoon is yelling at him again on how he’s standing. Taehyung tenses when he sees Jungkook immediately retreat into a very familiar pose: the frightened cat.

“Joon! Stop yelling at my boyfriend like that before I come in there and I beat the shit out of you! Jungkook!” Taehyung waves Jungkook over who looks up at him shocked. Namjoon stands with his mouth dropped, but silent. Jungkook glances at Namjoon who shrugs.

“No way do I want the wrath of Jin on me. Those Kims are scary. Go. And Jungkook I know we’re all a little rusty.  I’m sorry for yelling at you like that…it’s just that this opportunity—“

“I know,” Jungkook replies avoiding eye contact with Namjoon. “I know. I get it.”

“Well can you explain it to your omega then, please.  He’s looking at me like he might actually kill me.

Jungkook looks over at Taehyung who is standing sending daggers Namjoon’s way.  His baby tiger he thinks chuckling.

“Joon is afraid of you…and Jin.  I fucking love it,” jokes Jungkook as he takes a drink from the water bottle Taehyung hands him.  Taehyung pulls him aside and scrunches his nose.  There’s that sour scent again. 

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung asks concerned.

“What do you mean? Nothing.  Everything is fine.  I’m just a little rusty.”

Taehyung shakes his head and looks deep into Jungkook’s eyes.  “No. Nope that’s not it.  You’re—the frightened cat is back again,” Taehyung replies biting his lip.

“Are you sure?” Jungkook asks legitimately surprised.  “I guess I’m rustier than I thought.”

“Jungkookie…I’m better now.  Healthy. You know that. If something is going on—“

“Nothing is going on Baby.  I’m fine.”

Taehyung squints his eyes at Jungkook. “Are you controlling your scent right now? On purpose?”

Jungkook let’s out a small laugh and cups Taehyung’s cheek. “I’m fine.  Stop worrying.  I should get back to it. I’m fine.” Before Taehyung can say anything else Jungkook makes his way back to Namjoon.

“Those are way too many “I’m fines” in one conversation.” Taehyung frowns as he watches Jungkook take that familiar stance again. “You are definitely not fine.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“You know, if Jungkook is looking for someone to spar with I’ll do it,” Yoongi says.  Taehyung quirks an eyebrow at him and snorts.

“Seriously,” he responds cringing when Jungkook’s sparring partner lands a hard right hook.

“Yeah. I mean look at him.  If he wants to just stand there and get the shit knocked out, I’ll do it.  For free even,” Yoongi says smirking.

“What is going on with this Alpha,” huffs Taehyung. “Jungkook! Keep your hands up! Joon!” Taehyung gives Namjoon a look who shakes his head and walks over to stand by Taehyung and Yoongi.

“Tae…has he said anything to you? About anything? Is he ok? Cause look at him,” Namjoon says worriedly as he watches Jungkook take blow after blow.

Taehyung frowns as he does the same.  It’s been a full week since Jungkook started training again and at first Taehyung gave him the benefit of the doubt.  He was on hiatus.  He was rusty.  It takes time to get back in that mind frame again, especially after everything they have gone through.  It was expected Jungkook might not be at full capacity right away. But…this is different.  He’s not improving.  In fact, he’s getting worse.  He doesn’t look like the seasoned boxer Taehyung knows he is.  Instead, he looks like a novice.  More worrying to Taehyung is that look he sees in Jungkook every time he gets in the ring now.  Fear.  He’s scared. “I—I’m not sure Joon.  He tells me he’s fine, which I know isn’t true. He-“ Taehyung sighs, running a frustrated hand across his face, “He won’t tell me.”

“Well, something has to give or there isn’t going to be a fight.”

“What?” Taehyung quickly turns to look at Namjoon, eyes wide.

“Tae, I can’t put him in the ring with Baer if that’s how he’s going to fight.  He’ll get pummeled.  It’s not safe,” Namjoon replies disappointedly looking at Jungkook again.

“Let me talk to him.  Before you do anything let me really talk to him.  I’ll get to the bottom of what’s going on.”

“You better Tae or I’m pulling the plug on this.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Baby? Why are we here?” Jungkook asks looking at the carousel then at his mate. “You really only like coming here if you need cheering up. Are you ok?”

“Yes, but,” Taehyung cups Jungkook’s face, “you aren’t.  I know you aren’t. So, we are going to have some fun on this carousel and you’re going to tell me, finally, what is going on in that head of yours.  Because it’s something.” Taehyung reaches down and raises Jungkook’s hand placing his fingers on his mating mark. “It’s not just you who can feel things through this.  I can too.  And I’ve felt it all week.  I didn’t want to push you.  I was waiting for you to come to me and tell me on your own time, but that’s clearly not going to happen and since you love being a hypocrite and always calling ME stubborn,” Jungkook raises an eyebrow, “I’m going to force you to talk to me like you always do to me.  Like you’ve told me before.  No running away.  We’ve been through so much together.  Now isn’t the time to pull back from each other, now that we have our whole future in front of us.”

Jungkook sighs, resignation evident on his face. “Ok, Princess. Ok. But only if I finally get to ride the wolf.”

Taehyung smiles and nods happily. He takes Jungkook’s hand pulling him to the line. 

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

It’s a beautiful sunny day in Boston, but it’s one of those New England weather days where it’s utterly deceiving.  Taehyung stands in line with Jungkook’s arms wrapped around him shivering from the still present chill in the air. “Can third winter be over already,” Taehyung says mumbling as he turns to bury his face into Jungkook’s shoulder.

“Third winter?”

“Yeah. It’s third winter. You know what it’s like here Jungkookie.  We don’t just have 4 seasons we have fucked up mini seasons.”

Jungkook laughs and tilts his head.  “Oh I can’t wait to hear this. What mini seasons?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and huffs. “Jungkookie, are you sure you grew up in New England. Look, we just had winter but next doesn’t come spring. Oh no,” says Taehyung raising his hands.  Jungkook can’t help staring at Taehyung in amusement.  He missed this.  This Taehyung.  This lively, animated, full of life Taehyung who makes him laugh nonstop with his antics.  He pulls Taehyung in close just wanting to be able to touch him and feel that comfort he always gives.

“After winter we have fool’s spring—“

Jungkook let’s out a loud laugh, “Fool’s spring?”

“Don’t interrupt. Yes, fool’s spring. Then comes second winter. After that comes probably the worst of them all: spring of deception,” Taehyung says quietly and as mysteriously as possible.  That’s when it feels like spring and because it does it lulls you into a false sense of security.”

Jungkook nods laughing. “And then?”

“Third winter.  It’s where we are now.  Where it’s supposed to be spring, but it feels like fucking January,” says Taehyung with a huff. So it’s about T minus 14 days till we get actual spring for like a day and then we go into the many stages of summer.”

“Do you know how lucky I am to have you?” Jungkook says out of nowhere.  The comment makes Taehyung smile and let out a giggle.

“Yes, I know because I’m just as lucky to have you.  Oh Jungkook turn around. Put your game face on. The line is moving and see that little kid over there,” Taehyung juts his chin out to point out a small child who looks no more than 6 or 7, “he’s out for blood.  He’s been eyeballing all the pretty animals. Especially that wolf.  And that wolf is ours today.  Get ready to run.”

Jungkook lets out a snort, “Tae—“ but before Jungkook can say anything else Taehyung takes his hand and is off running pulling him towards the wolf and placing his free hand on the seat.  Jungkook looks around and sees the same child Taehyung was warning him about minutes before sending him a death glare.  Taehyung was right, he clearly wanted this wolf.  Jungkook shakes his head and turns to look at his mate who looks quite proud of himself for having been able to get to this animal first. “Tae, he could have it if he wants—“

“I agree…I would usually agree with you, but not today.  Today you need the wolf.  So you’re getting this wolf.” Taehyung climbs up on the wolf and motions for Jungkook to climb on behind him.  What a difference a couple of months makes.  The last time they were here he had to help Taehyung up on one of these as he was too weak to do it himself.  Now here they are, Taehyung healthy and well.  Jungkook quickly climbs on and hugs Taehyung tightly resting his head on his back and inhaling his scent.

“And don’t worry about the ride ending soon,” Taehyung pulls out a string of tickets.  “Look at how many rides I bought,” he says excitedly making Jungkook laugh into his back.

“That’s great Princess.”

“It is great because now you have all the time in the world to tell me what the hell is going on Jungkookie.  Why is that damn frightened cat back again?” Taehyung feels Jungkook tense against his back.  He releases his scent making Jungkook relax and inhale deeply.

“Tae, do you know what mostly drove me when I was in that ring?” Taehyung shrugs. 

“Wanting to win? Isn’t that the motivating factor for everyone?”

Jungkook shakes his head.  “No.  You would think so, but no. Not for me.  I honestly could’ve cared less if I won.  That wasn’t it.”

“Ok…so what is?”

“Anger.”

Taehyung sucks in a breath. “Anger? What do you mean?”

“Tae, I used boxing as a way to channel all that anger I felt. I was angry all the fucking time.  At my parents for abandoning me.  At Jack.  At life. At—“

“Me,” responds Taehyung softly. Jungkook squeezes tighter and places a small kiss on the back of Taehyung’s neck.

“Yes. With you at some point as well. I was angry at everyone.  Everything.  It’s what motivated me and pushed me in that ring.  In every fight I had.  But it wasn’t just anger.  It was fear too. Fear of a lot of things.  The trauma and abuse I held onto for so many years.  A lot of that fear I brought into that ring too.  Maybe it’s where that posture thing started.  But I could always count on the anger winning out in a fight.  The anger was always bigger than the fear.”

“Ok…so are you having a hard time channeling the anger in the ring again after taking so much time off? Is that what’s happening?  Are you letting the fear win out all the time now?”

“The fear is winning out because that’s all that’s left.”

Taehyung frowns and looks slightly over his shoulder at Jungkook. “What?”

Jungkook lets out a long sigh.  “Tae, I don’t think you understand what you being sick has done to me.  How it made me feel.  The things that we’ve been through have changed me.  I had to change who I was.  I became someone who only ever cared or looked out for himself to someone who only wanted to take care of you.  I—I just didn’t have room in my life for that anger anymore.  It wasn’t an emotion that I needed to hold onto anymore.  It wasn’t productive for me or you to have.  I learned to let it go.  I told you, when Jack died it was like I let go of that last bit of resentment and hatred I was holding onto.  And then you got better and all those negative emotions I’d been feeling in my life were replaced by love.  The love I felt for you and the love you gave me back.”

Taehyung sniffles and wipes his eyes. “Jungkookie—I don’t even know what to say.”

Jungkook chuckles and kisses his back.  “You don’t have to say anything.  That’s the thing.  I feel so much from you and none of it includes anger.”

“Wait…so does that mean…in the ring.  You aren’t channeling anger anymore.  Now all you’re feeling is afraid?”

“I’m scared Tae.  I’m scared that maybe I wasn’t a good enough boxer to begin with.  That the reason I was any good was because of all that anger. And now that it’s gone—“

“You think you won’t win.  That you aren’t good enough,” responds Taehyung.

“Something like that, yeah.  Clearly, I’m not entirely wrong in that respect.  I’m back to holding a shit posture and I’m pretty sure Namjoon, Hobi, and Jimin are ready to quit Team Jeon.”

Taehyung sighs.  “Jungkook, anger was never what made you into a good boxer.  Skill was.  You’re skilled Jungkook.  You may think you need anger to drive you to that intensity, but that’s not true, Love.  Not even close to it.”

“Skilled? Mark is skilled.  You heard Namjoon.  The way he talked about him,” scoffs Jungkook.

“Fuck Mark. And Namjoon too for that matter,” replies Taehyung with a slight growl.

“Baby tiger,” Jungkook mumbles into Taehyung’s back.

“You’re skilled Jungkook.  You have put so many long sleepless hours and days into perfecting your craft.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you aren’t exceptional at what you do.  But the fact that you’re letting your fear dictate how successful you are in the ring, well Jungkook, that’s just fucking stupid.”

“Thanks,” Jungkook replies with a groan.

“Imagine if I had let fear win out.  Imagine if I had done what I wanted to do initially.  Not start treatment because I was afraid. I would be dead Jungkook, and you know it.”

The comment makes Jungkook tense, and he holds on tighter to Taehyung.  “I was so close to letting my fear win out.  My anger too.  You remember.  But like you I learned to let go of that because although it’s not a wrong emotion to have, it is a somewhat useless one because no matter how angry I felt or got it didn’t change my situation.  And I realized fear was the same.  I was afraid, but holding onto that fear wasn’t helping me, it was only holding me back.  You don’t need negative emotions motivating you in the ring.  Maybe the old Jungkook did, but Love, you aren’t that Jungkook anymore.  You said it yourself you needed to change, and you did.  So now you need to change what drives you, what motivates you to win.  To want to be better.  You don’t need to use boxing as a way to channel anger and fear anymore.  Now you use it as a means to continue to better yourself.”

“Do you—you think I can? You think I can fight this guy? Win?” asks Jungkook.  Taehyung can hear the insecurity, the unsureness in Jungkook’s voice.

“I know you can.  We beat cancer Jungkookie.  We formed an impossible bond years ago.  We can do anything Love. I believe in you.  You believed in me.  Now, it’s time you believe in yourself,” Taehyung says turning to look at Jungkook again.

“I love you, you know that,” Jungkook says placing a kiss on Taehyung lips.

“I love you too Jungkookie.  Now get your shit together Alpha,” Taehyung says as the carousel ride comes to a full stop again.  He hops off and stares up at Jungkook. “Get your shit together and kick this guy’s ass and win this!”

Jungkook laughs and nods, hopping off the wolf.  He follows Taehyung off the ride and pulls out his phone.  “Baby, give me a second,” he says as he pulls up his text messages.

“Good?” Taehyung asks, head tilted.

“Great,” responds Jungkook. “How about we go and get some ice cream.  It’s my last day to cheat before I really start training hard tomorrow,” Jungkook says, determined look in his eyes.

Taehyung smiles and nods enthusiastically.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Are you sure about this Joon,” asks Jimin staring at the ring nervously.

“No. But it wasn’t me with the idea.  It was all Jungkook.”

“He’ll be fine.  My Alpha is a fucking beast.  He’s ready,” Taehyung says waving them both off. “Give em’ hell Jungkookie!” Taehyung yells out as Mark turns to give him a questioning look.  Jungkook laughs in his head gear, shaking his head.

“Don’t worry Mark.  He’s like a baby tiger.  All growl, no bite.  I on the other hand am all bite.  Good luck man,” says Jungkook holding his gloved hands out.  Mark snorts and knocks gloves with Jungkook.

Jimin and Namjoon give each other a look and shrug.

“Ready?” Hobi asks.

Mark and Jungkook both nod, gloves up and ready.

“Ding, ding then.” replies Hobi making the two fighters start to move slowly towards each other.

The two sparring partners move instinctively towards each other at a quick pace.  Mark comes out swinging, filled with over confidence.  Jungkook is able to slip underneath Mark’s jabs and rips to his jaw, but he still gets tagged because of his posture. The frightened cat has returned.

“Jungkook! Shoulders Baby! You aren’t a cat! You’re a badass Alpha wolf! Leave that fear where it belongs…out of the fucking ring!” Taehyung yells as everyone stares at him open mouthed and speechless. “What?” Taehyung asks shrugging and putting his attention back on his boyfriend.

It’s as if a switch turns on as everyone watches as Jungkook now fights like a new man, a puncher, a wreaking machine, a skilled boxer. His eyes blaze with a renewed fire. He rips into Mark and takes him down in grand style.

Mark is leveled and at the same time humbled as he sits on the floor of the ring looking up at Jungkook.  Jungkook extends his hand out for Mark who reaches up and accepts it letting himself be helped up by Jungkook.

“Nice job man.  That was really really impressive,” Mark says patting Jungkook on his headgear with a gloved hand.

“Thanks Mark.  That means a lot.”

Mark hesitates and sighs. “Look—Jungkook.  I—when we were little.  I—”

“It’s fine—”

“No, Jungkook—”

Jungkook shakes his head as he removes his headgear. “I get it. I do.  We all had to do what we felt we needed to in order to survive in that place.  I don’t hold anything against you.  Not anymore.  I’m in a different place.  I’ve moved on from that stuff man.  I need to,” Jungkook says looking over to look at a proudly beaming Taehyung who is clapping and giving him a thumbs up. He chuckles.

“Yeah, I can see why,” Mark replies looking at Taehyung then Jungkook. “I’m happy for you.  You’re lucky to have been able to move on, find someone.  You two seem happy.”

“We are.  Very much so.  He’s the reason Mark.  I’m so focused on a future with him that I don’t have time to live in that past anymore.  I don’t want to.  It’s not worth it and,” Jungkook turns to look at Taehyung again who is jumping around pretending to knock out Namjoon making Jungkook laugh and smile widely, “he’s worth everything and more.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

6 months later

Jungkook can hear the cheers and screams coming from the arena as he stands with his team in the hallway.  He stands in a shaft of light waiting to explode into action.  Adrenaline shooting through every part of his body. 

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in as he inhales the smell of freshly baked apple pie.  Taehyung leans in closely.

“It's only a three step climb up into that ring. Three,” he tells Jungkook looking down the darkened hallway. Jungkook slowly shifts from foot to foot taking deep controlled breaths as he takes in the words of his mate.

“But after everything Kook, it probably feels as high as a mountain.”

Jungkook tenses and pounds his gloves together.

Taehyung looks intently at Jungkook’s profile. “The ring always seems like one of the loneliest places in the world where nobody can help you and all your dreams can be crushed by one perfect punch.”

Jungkook continues to focus on Taehyung’s words as his eyes fixate on his unseen opponent.

“Now is the time to ask yourself Jungkook, are you in here to prove something to other people or prove something to yourself.”

Jungkook jumps up and down shifting his weight from foot to foot again.

“Because now is the time to leave that fear behind.  Now is the time you learn the truth in that ring…that you can’t be any better than you are Jungkook because you ARE the best.  Get the fuck in there and show the world you’re a winner Jungkook.”

Jungkook turns to look at his omega who is holding so much love in his eyes.  “I will Baby.  Don’t worry I will.”

Namjoon smirks after hearing Taehyung’s speech. He pats Jungkook on the back just as a magnificent explosion of sound erupts as the arena crowd of thousands roars to life. Team Golden Boy make their way out towards the ring.  The noise is jarring yet absolutely exhilarating.

Namjoon turns to Jungkook right before the Alpha is expected to meet in the middle of the ring with his opponent.

“What’s the plan Kook?”

“To be first,” responds Jungkook.

“He throws?”

“I throw first.”

“He hooks?”

I hook first.”

“He hits you hard?”

“I hit harder!”

“Sounds like a plan.  Now go get him!” Namjoon says sternly, stepping back and exiting the ring.

Taehyung sits ring side flanked by Yoongi and Jin. Jungkook’s parents watching from home not being able to stand the anxiety of watching their son fight live.  Taehyung adjusts his hat, still feeling slightly self-conscious as his hair starts to fully grow in again. 

He rubs his hands anxiously together bopping on the heels of his feet.  He feels Yoongi wrap an arm around his waist. “He’s gonna win.  I can fucking feel it Tae,” Yoongi says nervous energy coursing through his body as well. Taehyung looks up and connects with Jungkook’s gaze just as he turns as well looking for reassurance, comfort from the one person who can do it best, his mate. Taehyung smiles wide and boxy and mouths an “I love you,” hoping it’s enough to calm any nerves his Alpha may still have.  That smile is all Jungkook needs.  He smiles back, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath just as the bell rings for round one.

Welterweight champion Tony “Stuntman” Baer immediately charges at Jungkook.  He radiates aggression and pure rage, and the crowd goes crazy at the display.  Jungkook quickly side steps and counters with a blistering right, then left upper cut followed by two more rights.

Baer appears stunned not expecting the power and brute force from his seemingly less experienced opponent.  Perhaps he underestimated the Golden Boy. Baer tries to shake it off, but he’s left rocked by the punches. Jungkook seems to notice this, quickly using it to his advantage as he moves in swiftly to pour on more blows.  The crowd erupts as the roars get louder.

Taehyung jumps up and down applauding wildly. “GO JUNGKOOKIE! KEEP GOING! he screams as both Jin and Yoongi turn to grip on to him as all three jump excitedly up and down, screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs.

Jungkook continues to pound away with amazing fury. “He’s like a machine!” Taehyung screams in Yoongi’s face, “Like fucking Robocop or something!” he yells.

Jungkook not only seems to have the advantage offensively, but he’s been successfully weaving and dodging Baer’s onslaught of counterpunches. Baer is able to connect briefly with Jungkook, but Jungkook again quickly counters it and leaves Baer badly wobbled. Audible gasps can be heard throughout the arena.  This turn of events is completely unexpected.  Jungkook is the underdog.  The predetermined loser.  This.  This Jungkook…a skilled, confident, fierce Jungkook, was not what anyone saw coming.

Baer’s trainer screams from the corner for his boxer to fight back, but it seems to fall on deaf ears.

Namjoon is on his feet cupping his hand against his mouth yelling to Jungkook as loudly as he can, “Stay on it! Body, head! Body, head!”

Baer struggles forward but is instantly bombarded with heavy blows by Jungkook and as a result endures a terrible cut. Jungkook pushes Baer onto the ropes reigning blow after heavy blow. Baer attempts to get off the ropes and is once again cut, the gash deep and raw. Blood begins to pour down at a sickening pace.

Taehyung’s eyes show concern for Jungkook’s opponent, because even though he wants Jungkook to win he really doesn’t want anyone getting hurt. He nevertheless continues to cheer and yell Jungkook on.

Jungkook catches Baer with a perfectly straight right hook.  It’s beautifully timed, picture perfect. And as if in slow motion, as if time stops…the champ is dropped. He falls to the floor with a loud thud. Jungkook quickly retreats to a neutral corner.

Baer slowly rises, making his way to his corner, knees shaking.  His team looks him up and down focusing in on his cut.  The gash is bad.  Nasty in fact, with blood continuing to pour out at an alarming rate. The ring doctor suddenly turns to the referee and shakes his head.

The referee waves his arms as Tony "Stuntman" Baer, distraught, looks on, inconsolable.

The ring announcer jumps in the ring, “That's it!! It's over!! Jungkook “Golden Boy” Jeon is the new Welterweight Champion of the World!”

Namjoon and the rest of the team pour into the ring.  Taehyung moves as quickly as his feet allow him to and he quickly climbs into the ring.  Jungkook turns when he smells the most beautiful comforting scent in the world and is faced with a sight just as beautiful.  He lifts the omega up and hugs him tightly. 

“I’m so proud of you Jungkookie! You were amazing! I love you so much,” cries Taehyung.

Jungkook holds on tightly, beaming at his boyfriend. “I love you too Baby.  And I want you to know you were right, I don’t need anger or fear to motivate me in this ring anymore.  I have my friends.  My family. And most importantly I have you.  I have you and that’s all the motivation and drive I need.” Taehyung smiles with tears in his eyes and nods.

Jungkook makes his way over to Baer and gives him a sportsman-like pat on the shoulder. He returns to center ring where he takes Taehyung’s hand and holds it tightly as he stands next to the ring announcer who holds a belt in his hands. 

He takes Jungkook’s empty hand and holds it up.

“Winner by Technical Knockout and now, new Welterweight Champion of the World, Jungkook “Golden Boy” Jeon!!

Jungkook smiles proudly.

Chapter Text

2 Years Later

Taehyung sits in the front seat of the car and loosens the buttons to his shirt, letting out a long breath as he does.

“Baby…don’t. Your smell right now is beyond distracting,” Jungkook states as he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He reaches down and yanks at his pants, Taehyung’s scent sending him into an embarrassing state of arousal. “I’d really like to get us home without getting into any accidents.”

“Right, cause I can control what’s happening right now,” scowls Taehyung as he rolls the window down letting the cool air hit his face. “I want to get home in one piece too you know.  And like you, as quickly as possible.”  Taehyung swallows hard, eyes fluttering closed.

“Not for nothing Taehyung, but I told you to stay home today.  I made it real fucking clear that I didn’t want you coming to the gym.  A gym filled with fucking Alphas everywhere especially since you were in preheat,” Jungkook says jaw tense.

“Well oopsie fucking doo, like I said, it’s not like I can control this.  I usually have some time before it hits when I enter preheat.  It wasn’t like this the last time.”

Taehyung clutches the edges of the seat and tips his head back against the headrest. He starts to rock his hips, feeling the need for some sort of stimulation.  He feels like he’s  starting to lose himself and he at least wants to get home before he loses all his senses.  He opens his eyes and groans and turns to look at Jungkook, face alight with pleading.

“Hurry,” he gasps. ‘Oh God, hurry, please.”

“I am, Baby I am. I promise you, I am.”

They were two minutes away from arriving home, Jungkook driving as carefully as he can, notwithstanding the point where Taehyung moaned ‘Jungkook,’ sounding almost in pain, and Jungkook looked over to see Taehyung’s back arch, thighs splaying wide, as he thrust a hand down between his legs to grind against it.

“Fuck Baby,” Jungkook mutters, resolutely looking back at the road. “If we crash it’s absolutely your fault.”

Jungkook pulls into their driveway.  He quickly exists the car and rounds to Taehyung’s car door flinging it open and tugging Taehyung out who looks dazed and gone. Jungkook clumsily gets the door open and pulls Taehyung in.

As soon as Jungkook closes the door behind them he takes Taehyung and wraps his arms around him, pulling him impossibly close.  “Relax Baby,” he breathes out, pressing his face to Taehyung’s hair and inhaling as he’s been wanting to do for the past several hours. “I’ve got you. What do you need?“

“Get this off me!” Taehyung’s hand pushes between them, fingers already dancing over his shirt buttons. “Take this off me now!”

Jungkook instantly starts working at Taehyung’s shirt. He starts pulling it from Taehyung’s shoulders revealing tan, smooth skin. Eyes focusing on how flushed Taehyung’s collarbones and chest are.  It’s a flush that’s slowly creeping up his throat and settling in his face.  Seeing his omega this worked up sends a shiver down the Alpha’s spine and he can’t help running his hands down Taehyung’s bare back.

Jungkook kisses Taehyung firmly before nudging him in the direction of their bedroom, as Taehyung stumbles along.

Taehyung works quickly at his own pants and shoves them off haphazardly before climbing into bed.

“Fuck,” he pants, twisting against the sheets. “Oh fuck, this is unbearable.”

Taehyung’s hand snakes down to his groin and he thrusts his hips up. He moans a little as he touches himself, making Jungkook almost break the zipper on his jeans as he curses and yanks at them.

Naked, he quickly gets into bed and kneels between Taehyung’s thighs, running his hands up from his knees to his hips and encouraging Taehyung to spread his legs wider. Taehyung does so, and Jungkook leans down to kiss him approvingly.

“That’s it Baby,” he says, nibbling Taehyung’s lower lip. “Try to relax, just let me take care of you.”

Taehyung lifts his legs to wrap them around Jungkook’s waist and moans against his mouth. Jungkook flattens a hand over Taehyung’s nipple, making him arch and gasp as Jungkook moves down to cover it with his mouth. They’re flushed and swollen, given Taehyung’s state, and at Jungkook’s light touch Taehyung runs his fingers into Jungkook’s hair and groans. Taehyung’s fingers tighten as he starts to feel more desperate.

“Fuck me, right now Alpha,” Taehyung pants, digging his heels into the small of Jungkook’s back. “Now, come on, just do it already.”

Jungkook sits back on his heels, coaxing Taehyung’s legs to loosen from around his waist, and slides a hand between Taehyung’s thighs. Jungkook’s fingers brush Taehyung’s hole gently and finds that he is dripping wet with slick. Taehyung whimpers at the touch, back arching. He hooks his hands behind his knees and grinds down against Jungkook’s fingers as Jungkook pushes and presses deep inside him.

“Please,” begs Taehyung, eyes tearing.

“It’s ok Baby.  I got you, don’t worry.” Jungkook leans forward on one arm and reaches down to hold himself steady with the other. He kisses Taehyung slowly, reassuringly, as he pushes against him; there is a moment of breathless fumbling and then something gives, and he sinks inside.

“Oh God,” moans Taehyung as Jungkook bends down and kisses him, holding him, giving Taehyung time to adjust. But Taehyung doesn’t appear to want time; he kicks a heel against Jungkook’s thigh and orders “More! Move! Why did you stop?!”

“Maybe I need a moment,” Jungkook grits out. Taehyung was perfect around him: no uncomfortable tightness, just a silky hot squeeze around his cock. He kisses Taehyung’s mating mark and that smell, that irresistible scent of an omega in heat, HIS omega, hits his senses and he swear he sees stars.

Jungkook starts to move, rocking forward and pulling back.  Taehyung grabs his shoulders and moans loudly. Jungkook kisses him, working a hand between Taehyung’s head and the pillow, cupping his head as he rocks inside Taehyung taking in all of the wonderful noises and sounds coming out of his omega’s mouth. Taehyung’s cock rubbing against Jungkook’s stomach, leaving slippery little streaks of precome, making Jungkook grunt. “Do you need a hand on you? Do you want me to touch you Baby?”

Taehyung shakes his head, panting frantically. Taehyung’s first orgasm during heat always tended to be fairly intense, particularly when he had progressed as far as Taehyung has without a touch.  Jungkook hisses slightly between his teeth as Taehyung’s nails rake down his spine.

“Oh…” Taehyung sobs, his eyes tightly shut. “Oh… oh…” Taehyung mouths and nips at Jungkook’s throat then smashes his mouth against Jungkook’s ear to gasp out a strained, “Harder.”

Jungkook obeys and is rewarded with Taehyung becoming even louder. Jungkook can feel himself starting to sweat, perspiration prickling at his temples. He gulps for breath and continues to fuck merciless into Taehyung making him reach up and grip his own hair, tugging at it slightly, distracting himself with pain amid his pleasure.

“Don’t do that Princess.  Leave your pretty hair alone,” Jungkook pants, and he reaches to undo Taehyung’s grip and instead intertwines his fingers into Taehyung’s. “Hold onto me instead, if you need to grip something.”

Taehyung’s grip tightens immediately almost crushing Jungkook’s hand. Jungkook goes to tell him to ease up but the next instant he feels a tell-tale squeeze around his cock as Taehyung’s cock twitches sharply against his stomach, warmth sliding messily between them as Taehyung grinds his mouth against Jungkook’s shoulder in a vain bid to smother his wails. Jungkook continues fucking him while Taehyung comes. Each thrust forcing another pulse, another cry from the omega, only relented when his noises turn to sobbing gasps for air. Jungkook stills, nuzzling his mate’s hair and murmuring soothing words to him, until Taehyung tilts his face up for a kiss and squeezes Jungkook’s sides with his knees.

“Go on,” he mumbles. “Keep going.”

Jungkook kisses him and complies. It isn’t long before Taehyung is gripping his hand again, his breath coming quick and shallow. His other hand on Jungkook’s nape, holding him close so the Alpha could kiss and bite at his mouth, and when Taehyung groans “I’m close again,” Jungkook kisses him bruisingly hard.

“Me too,” he growls back. His rhythm starts to falter, turning jerky and erratic; breathing growing short as pleasure pulls into sharp focus in his cock just as Taehyung groans out his second orgasm, fingers tightening sharply in Jungkook’s hair.

Jungkook pulls Taehyung’s hands and takes him by the waist, “turn around omega,” he growls out as he turns Taehyung who instantly gets on all fours bracing himself.  Jungkook moans as he pushes into Taehyung, closing his eyes.

“I want you to come,” Taehyung murmurs, sweetly, devilish. “You’re so hard, and so ready for it. Come on,” he purrs as he pushes back into Jungkook’s cock making Jungkook moan even louder.  Jungkook speeds his thrusts as he reaches around and places his hand on Taehyung’s cock stroking up and down, fingers growing a little rougher as he focuses on the tip making Taehyung lose his breath. “Oh, I’m getting close again. Come on, do it.”

Jungkook thrusts hard into Taehyung, suddenly making him cry out in pleasure as Jungkook finally feels it, knot swelling as he growls loudly.  He falls forward resting on Taehyung pressing his face against his back as he comes. He gasps and shudders trying to steady his breathing. 

“Jungkookie,” Taehyung says weakly, out of breath, “you’re heavy.  Can I try to turn around please.”

Jungkook smiles a tired smile as he gets off his omega and maneuvers himself behind him.  “It’s going to be a bit Baby till we can move properly.”

“Hmm,” Taehyung hums happily, contently wrapped in his mate’s arms.  Jungkook places a kiss on his shoulder and hugs him tightly, as he feels him relax, small snores escaping his mouth.  Jungkook smiles and closes his eyes as well.  Taehyung will be up again soon, another wave of his heat expectantly hitting again.  He’ll need to rest if he plans on keeping his omega happy. 

It’s only a little over an hour when Jungkook wakes up, knot having gone down.  He slips out of Taehyung making him groan and turn on his back. Jungkook lies on his side, propping his head up on one hand.  He reaches up with the other to trace a gentle line across Taehyung’s lips. 

Taehyung’s hair has curled over his forehead where it was wet with sweat, and Jungkook brushes it back as he continues to study Taehyung’s face. Taehyung was completely still, only the rise and fall of his chest breaking the line of his body, and the faint quiver of his ribcage that showed where his heart was still pounding. Jungkook doesn’t think there exists anything in this world that is as beautiful as his mate.

Taehyung starts to stir as his eyelashes start to flutter.  He opens his eyes and smiles when he sees his Alpha staring lovingly down at him.  “Hi Jungkookie.”

“Hi Princess.” Jungkook feels his heart swell.  Taehyung looks so unguardedly happy that Jungkook can’t help feeling butterflies in his stomach.  He strokes his thumb tenderly along one of Taehyung’s eyebrows and presses a soft kiss to his cheek. He leans into Taehyung’s ear and starts to sing:

🎵Gotta find out who I'm meant to be

I don't believe in destiny

But with every word you swear to me

All my beliefs start caving in

Then I feel something's

About to change🎵

Taehyung smiles and closes his eyes letting the smooth voice drift through his ears as it reaches his heart.

🎵So bring the lightning

Bring the fire, bring the fall

I know I'll get my heart through

Got miles to go but from the day I started crawlin'

I was on my way to find you

I was on my way to find you

I was on my way every day

I was on my way to find you🎵

Taehyung wraps his arms around Jungkook’s neck and kisses him. “I love you.”

“I love you too Baby. How are you feeling?”

Taehyung stretches, flexing his fingers and wriggling his toes as he sighs blissfully. “Good,” he replies, “so good.” Taehyung blinks up at Jungkook, eyes turning blue. “That was just what I needed. What I wanted.”

Jungkook leans down to kiss Taehyung’s forehead. “I’m glad.” His fingers curl around Taehyung’s hair. “It’s getting long.  I love it like this. When your curls are defiant and long.” Taehyung giggles as Jungkook leans in for another kiss.  Taehyung’s lips following his when he goes to get up and Jungkook can’t help giving in to him willingly. He finally pulls back, Taehyung’s mouth damp and flushed. He parts his lips when Jungkook runs a finger over his bottom lip. The omega’s tongue flicks out to touch Jungkook’s fingertip making him chuckle.

“Tease,” Jungkook mutters, taking his finger away, kissing Taehyung again.

Taehyung shifts and scrunches his nose in discomfort.  “Eww the sheets are gross.”

Jungkook shrugs and waves him off. “So? Another wave will hit soon Baby what’s the point in changing them when we’re only going to mess them up again,” he says smirking at Taehyung.

“Jungkookie…I’m sorry about coming to the gym today even after you told me to stay home.  I really thought I had time before my heat hit.  And I’m sorry for not being the nicest earlier either.  I know how annoying it is to have to deal with me when my heat comes and you never complain,” Taehyung pouts.

“Baby, why on earth would I ever complain about you being in heat?“ Jungkook brushes a hand against the tender skin at the inside of Taehyung’s knee making him spread his legs, biting his lip. “Do you have even the slightest idea of just how excruciatingly arousing it is to have you here like this? Knowing that you’re lying here, in heat, and slowly getting wetter and wetter until you’re soaking…for me.”

Taehyung’s breath catches letting out a small moan as Jungkook slides his hand a few inches higher.

“You drive me crazy,’ Jungkook says breathlessly, rubbing a thumb over Taehyung’s skin. “In fact,” he leans in closely to Taehyung’s face with a devilish smirk on his face, “when this hits again, I want both of your knees over my shoulders so I can eat you out.”

Taehyung shuts his eyes tightly, cheeks scarlet, as he grabs a handful of Jungkook’s hair, tipping his face up blindly for a kiss.

Jungkook returns the kiss but resists the temptation for more. Things are only going to get more intense from this point onwards and they both need to save their energy. “Sleep, Princess. Get some rest.  Believe me,” Jungkook says smirking, “you’ll need it.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook takes a quick glance at the large clock on the wall across the ring and frowns.  His eyes fall on the purple gloves, his gloves, the ones gifted by Taehyung that hang in the gym with his champion belts. He takes his phone out and checks it again for any calls or text messages.  Nothing.  He shakes off that nagging tickle in the pit of his stomach and focuses his attention back to the task at hand.

“Keep your hands up Scotty. You have to always keep the gloves up.  And always maintain eye contact.  The second you look down you’re giving your opponent an opening to catch you off guard.” The young boy in front of him nods and immediately raises his hands up.

It’s been two years since Jungkook won his first title fight and although he continued to defend his title and won many more fights thereafter, the Alpha found his heart just wasn’t in the ring anymore.  Not in the way he wanted it to be. 

Taehyung had entered remission.  He was the healthiest he’d ever been and both he and Jungkook were well on their way to making a life together.  And yet Jungkook didn’t feel like that new life included him as a boxer.  So much had changed for him, and he just didn’t feel that same itch to fight as he once did. 

Taehyung, always being his strongest supporter, was ready to be by his side in whatever new endeavor he decided to move onto.  But the thing Jungkook realized was that he liked boxing...not the actual physical fighting part, but he loved the sport and what it could represent for so many.  Talking it through with Taehyung he realized that a dream that he had hoped he could fulfill someday was actually possible to make a reality now. 

With Team Jeon’s help and the help of his parents, they revamped and remodeled the gym.  Reopening it not for the purpose of training the “Golden Boy” of boxing, but to house the troubled youth around the city of Boston and surrounding cities who needed a place to come and release some bent up anger.  Jungkook no longer found himself in the ring fighting. Instead, he found himself outside of it; coaching, motivating, and guiding kids much like he was at one point.  Angry, lost, and abandoned youth looking for a kind hand, a little bit of tenderness, and a chance.  He had found that all in his family, his friends, and most importantly with Taehyung.  It was his time to return some of that back out as well.

Jungkook retired, with many confused and flabbergasted that he would even entertain such a thought at the height of his career.  But Jungkook didn’t care.  He knew this is where he needed to be in his life and with the full support of his mate, he was able to make it a reality.  Taehyung even agreed to be the onsite fulltime physical therapist for the gym to work with the boxers who had potential to make the move to professional.  Both Jungkook and Taehyung couldn’t be happier.  But...even with so much happiness and good fortune there’s still that gnawing at the back of their minds sometimes. 

And no matter how positive Jungkook always tries to stay for his omega there’s still that feeling, waiting for the shoe to drop that enters his consciousness.  Like now. Taehyung is a half hour late and MIA which is unlike him.  These are the moments when Jungkook thinks back to that last time, when Taehyung retreated into himself and kept so many things from him. 

Just as he’s about to dial Taehyung’s number again his nose picks up on the very distinguishable and dizzying scent of his mate.  He turns and sees him walk in, balancing a tray of coffees in one hand and a box of pastries in the other.  Jungkook relaxes all the tension he had been feeling and smiles. Taehyung’s beauty will never cease to be otherworldly to him.

“Morning everyone!” yells Taehyung loudly.  He hears the greeting returned back in various spots throughout the gym as he makes his way to where his mate stands staring, arms crossed at him.

“Morning Jungkookie,” he greets brightly.

Jungkook purses his lips and raises an eyebrow.  “You’re late.  And you weren’t answering my calls.”

Taehyung leans in and kisses Jungkook on the cheek scrunching his nose at the sour smell of vanilla ice cream.  “Please don’t be mad at me Jungkook.  I stopped to get breakfast for everyone. See,” Taehyung shows Jungkook his excuse setting it on a nearby table.  “Besides you left this morning without even saying goodbye to me.”

“I did say goodbye.  Tae, you were dead to the world this morning.  You didn’t even stir a little bit.  Which is weird because you aren’t ever a heavy sleeper,” Jungkook runs a hand through Taehyung’s hair. “You feeling ok Baby?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and huffs, “Yes, I’m feeling fine. Stop it.  I was exhausted from last night, which is all your fault Alpha, so don’t go trying to act like I didn’t have a good reason to be late this morning.”

Jungkook sighs and tries to focus on his mate’s scent.  Normal.  It’s normal.  “Ok, I’m sorry.  I just worry you know that.”

“I know, but you don’t have to,” Taehyung says wrapping his arms around Jungkook’s neck. “Now, who am I working with today?”

“Me Tae! Me!”

Taehyung turns and smiles. “Morning Scotty.”

“Morning Tae.  I’m ready.”

“Ok Bud, let’s go then.  Jungkookie, I’ll see you later Love.”

Jungkook nods as he watches Taehyung disappear into one of the back workout rooms.

Taehyung enters the room and exhales.  “Scotty, hang on a sec, ok? I just have to use the bathroom really quick,” and before Scotty can respond Taehyung is rushing into the bathroom, bending down over the toilet.  “Fuck!” he mumbles as he empties his breakfast into the porcelain bowl.  He groans and sits back on his knees.  He feels awful.  He’s dizzy and nauseous.  He has been every day for the last couple of weeks.  He shakily reaches out for the sink, gripping the edge to lift himself up.  His knees are shaking and when he looks into the mirror he frowns at his reflection.  He’s so pale.  He gulps and tries to steady his breathing which is anxiously becoming more erratic the longer he stays in this bathroom.  “I’m not sick.  I’m not.  I’m perfectly fine.” Taehyung stares at himself in the mirror and closes his eyes willing away the nauseating feeling he has in the pit of his stomach. He rinses his mouth, fluffs his hair, and exits the bathroom.

Scotty stands in front of the mirror shadow boxing.  He catches Taehyung’s gaze through the mirror and spins around, worried expression in his eyes. “Tae…are you ok? You don’t look so good.”

Taehyung waves him off. “I’m fine.  Should we get started?”

Scotty looks at Taehyung unsure. “Um…Yeah, I guess.”

“Ok. Remember the exercises we did a couple of days ago for your knee.  We’re going to repeat those.”

“Ok Tae.”

Taehyung starts to assist Scotty with the exercises but feels himself get tired and a little winded after a bit.  He places a hand against the nearby wall to take a breath. 

“Tae?”

Taehyung turns around quickly and when he does, he sees stars in front of his eyes.  He wobbles on his feet quickly being steadied by Scotty who holds him upright. “I’m getting Jungkook,” he says worriedly. Taehyung grips his wrist and stops him in his tracks.

“I’m fine.  You don’t need to get him.  It—it’s just low blood sugar that’s all.  It’s fine.  I’m fine. No need to pull Jungkook from his busy schedule. You know how he is.  An over worrier. Come on Scotty let’s finish up.  I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Scotty frowns, standing to think about what he should do.  He sighs and nods apprehensively at Taehyung as he readies himself to continue his exercises. Meanwhile Taehyung takes a deep breath trying to control the bile that is threatening to come up again.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung enters his room and throws himself on the bed.  He’s exhausted and still feeling like absolute shit.  Jungkook stayed late to help Namjoon at the gym and had hoped Taehyung would stay and wait for him, but with the way Taehyung has been feeling he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide this from Jungkook if he stayed.  He made up an excuse—not a lie—an excuse and tells Jungkook that he’s meeting Yoongi to hang out. 

Taehyung runs a frustrated hand across his face and groans.  Ok it wasn’t an excuse.  It was a lie.  And he hates lying to his mate, but he also doesn’t need him overreacting because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him.  He swallows hard as the nausea works overtime wanting to prove that wrong.  He sits up and shakes his head.  “Nope.  I’m not going to be sick.” He slowly gets up and walks towards his bookcase reaching for that familiar book that always makes him feel better.  He holds it close to his chest, hugging it, as he settles into his hanging chair to read. 

Taehyung tries to read, to focus, but the nausea and dizziness is getting worse and as much as he’s trying to fight it, they are definitely winning out.  He hurriedly gets out of his chair throwing the book on his bed.  He takes a couple of steps when he can feel his knees buckle.  His vision blurs and the last thing he remembers looking at is the portrait of his parents that sits on his dresser before everything goes black.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Tae…Tae…Taehyung!”

Taehyung groans and struggles to open his eyes.  He can hear someone calling his name, but it sounds so far away.  “Tae?!”

Taehyung manages to finally pry his eyes open and when he does, he realizes he’s staring up at Yoongi who has his head cradled in his lap.

“Oh my God! Taehyung! Fuck you’re awake! You fucking scared me!” Yoongi yells, hands shaking as he holds Taehyung’s head.

“Yoongi? W—what happened?”

“Jungkook said he was trying to call you and that you weren’t answering.  He was in a panic Tae.  He said he had a weird pain in his chest,” Taehyung tenses in Yoongi’s arms. “He told me to come and check on you and when I did, I saw you on the floor. Did you pass out?!”

Taehyung feels his heartbeat quicken. Fear taking over every logical thought in his head. “You didn’t tell Jungkook I passed out yet did you? Please tell me you didn’t tell him?!”

“Tae, what the fuck is going on?!” Yoongi asks, eyes wide and scared.  His phone rings and he instantly makes eye contact with the omega. 

“It’s him, right? It’s Jungkook? Yoongi, please don’t tell him what happened.  I’ll tell you everything, but just not him.  Not yet, please,” Taehyung pleads.

Yoongi let’s out a shaky breath as he answers the phone. “Hi Kook,” he answers as steady as he can. “I’m here…” Yoongi looks deep into Taehyung’s eyes and sighs. “No…he’s fine.  We’re going to read for a bit.  I—I got him a new book so we’re just going to read.  I’m here with him so you don’t have to worry…I’m sure,” Yoongi frowns at Taehyung and purses his lips. “Really, he’s fine Kook.  I’m not really sure what that was you were feeling…talk to Tae?” Taehyung quickly shakes his head at Yoongi.  That’s the last thing he needs.  He wouldn’t be able to hide the fear in his voice right now if he were to talk to his Alpha. “He‘s in the bathroom, but I’ll tell him to call you in a bit, ok?…Yeah ok Kook. Bye.”

“Thank you,” Taehyung says sighing in relief.

“No.  This is crazy.  I’m not going to help cover and lie for you when you aren’t even being honest with me.  Taehyung, what is going on?”

Taehyung sits on his bed and lies down, face heavy, solemn. “I--” he sighs and closes his eyes. “I’ve been feeling sick again,” he says avoiding Yoongi’s hard gaze.

“Sick how?” concern flooding Yoongi’s face.

“Sick Yoongi. I’ve been feeling really nauseous and dizzy.  Lightheaded--”

“Fainting?”

“No.  That one is new.”

“Bruising? Bleeding?” Yoongi asks.

“Not yet.”

‘Not yet.’ Yoongi grimaces at the response. “Why haven’t you told anyone? Me? Jungkook? Why are you doing this again Tae? Keeping this from all of us?”

“We’re happy Yoongi,” Taehyung says shaking his head, “we’re all so happy.  I am so happy with my life right now; you have no idea.  I—I'm not ready to have it pulled from under me again.” Taehyung bites his quivering bottom lip to keep himself from crying. Yoongi inches closer to him until they are shoulder to shoulder.

“Maybe--maybe this is nothing.  I mean, you aren’t having any of the major symptoms—maybe" Yoongi tries desperately to find the words that might help Taehyung feel comfort...and himself.

“I don’t know Yoongi. I feel different. Weird.”

“You need to call Dr. Allen and see him tomorrow.  And you need to tell Jungkook.  You can’t keep this from him. “

“I know I do.  I know that, but how? How am I supposed to tell him that this thing is more than likely back again and that our lives are about to all change again. For the worse.”

“Tae--” Yoongi can feel the anxiety radiating off his best friend.  “You’re already thinking the worst.  Can't we just take a breath and try to pull back from this for a second.  Let’s make the appointment with Dr. Allen and sit down and tell Jungkook and Jin--”

Taehyung shakes his head vehemently, “No.  I—can we please wait on telling them anything?” Yoongi groans. “Please, Yoongs, I’ll make the appointment, but please don’t say anything to them yet.  I don’t want to ruin things.  To cause them worry.”

“But it’s ok for you to take it all and deal with it yourself then? That’s not healthy Tae.  We’re all a family.  That’s what we do.  Support each other no matter how fucked up the situation is.  You shouldn’t be dealing with this, with all these fucked emotions by yourself.”

“I’m not, you’re helping me.”

“Yeah now. And that’s only because I found you passed out on the floor. Otherwise, no one would know, and you would be alone with this.  Again Tae.  Like the last time.  And you aren’t alone.”

Taehyung runs a frustrated hand down his face.  He knows he isn’t alone.  He has so many people in his life who love him and are always there for him when he needs them.  Yet he can’t find the way to tell them he might be sick again.  His first instinct is to retreat into himself.  To deny.  To hide.  He really doesn’t know any other way to be.  

“I’m trying Yoongi.  To be more open when it comes to my health stuff especially with what happened last time, but it’s hard.  It’s my biggest insecurity.  My biggest fear.  My Achilles heel.  I don’t know how to ever change who I am when it comes to my cancer.”

Yoongi can see it.  He can feel it.  Its palpable.  The fear.  He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.  “I won’t tell them, but you need to go see Dr. Allen tomorrow.  No excuses.  Tomorrow Tae.”

Taehyung gives him a small nod as he feels the happiness he has been feeling slowly start to get farther and farther away.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

“Princess...Princessss. Earth to Taehyung...”

Taehyung groans and buries himself further into the blanket.  He feels like death this morning.  And his anxiety is at an all-time high.  He just wants to spend the day in bed and sleep and not have to deal with anyone or anything.

“Baby, we’re going to be late if you don’t get up.  What’s going on with you anyway? You’re usually up before I am. And don’t think I’ve fully forgiven you for pulling that disappearing act yesterday and making me worry the way you did. Yoongi must’ve thought I was crazy.”

Taehyung pushes the blanket to the side and looks up at an annoyed Jungkook.  This is exactly why he doesn’t want to say anything.  The alpha worries so much about him and everything has been so perfect.  He won’t ruin that.

“I’m sorry Jungkookie.  I told you, there was something up with my phone.  I’m sorry I made you worry like that.”

Jungkook leans down and kisses Taehyung on the forehead. “You need to make sure your phone is on, ok? I worry.  We worry.  I know how much you hate hearing that, but I’m not going to lie.”

Taehyung can feel a slight panic welling in his stomach.  “Jungkookie...”

“Yeah?”

Taehyung looks deep into Jungkook’s large eyes and for a split second he’s ready to tell him.  How sick he’s been feeling, about the fainting, the appointment...but he hesitates. “I--God, I totally forgot to tell you, I can’t make it to work today.  I agreed to volunteer an extra day this week at the hospital.  You know to boost moral on the floor. Doris asked me and I couldn’t say no so I—I won’t be coming to work with you.” Taehyung moves quickly up and past Jungkook not wanting to make eye contact with the Alpha and making sure to very effectively control his scent. 

“Today? Really? You had a long session scheduled with Scotty.  His first fight is coming up soon,” frowns Jungkook.  This is the first time Taehyung has ever done this and Jungkook knows he shouldn’t be suspicious of his mate, but Taehyung hasn’t had the best track record of being completely honest with him in the past. He squints his eyes suspiciously and pulls Taehyung by the wrist holding him steady. “Are you sure? There’s nothing going on right?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and huffs. “No, of course not.  I’m fine.”

Jungkook tenses.  ‘I’m fine.’

“Tae--”

“Really Jungkookie, everything is great.  I just couldn’t say no.  You can understand that, can’t you?” Taehyung responds, expertly controlling his scent. He looks Jungkook in his eyes hoping this is all enough to placate his mate.

Jungkook studies Taehyung’s face, his eyes.  He’s not sure why, but he feels like this is all wrong.  He sighs and holds Taehyung close. “Ok.  Ok Tae.  But...” Jungkook cups Taehyung’s face, “you know you can tell me if something is wrong.  You have to Tae.”

Taehyung gulps and nods his head reaching up to remove Jungkook’s hands. “I know.  I know that.” He glances at the clock on their dresser.  He’s going to be late for his blood work appointment if he doesn’t hurry up and get out of here. “I told you.  I’m fine. And Jungkookie, I really have to go.  I know you’ve been staying late to work at the gym a lot lately, but...think we could have dinner together tonight.  I miss you. I want to spend some time with you that isn’t at the gym working.”

Jungkook smiles and wraps his arms around Taehyung’s waist.  “I’m sorry I haven’t been more present.  That I’ve been working so late--”

“No, no I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I...just want to spend time with you.”

‘Because I don’t know how much time we have left anymore.’

“We’ll have dinner tonight.  Yes.  Absolutely.  But I want you to dress up.  Doll yourself up Princess, cause I’m taking you out. For ice cream too.”

Taehyung stares at Jungkook and suddenly a flush of feelings and emotions hits him.  What if he’s living on borrowed time again? What if these moments become so fleeting again?

“Tae, what’s wrong?” Jungkook asks seeing the change in Taehyung’s demeanor. Taehyung waves a hand and shakes his head.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. Going out tonight sounds perfect.  Really perfect Jungkookie.  I can’t wait,” he says putting on his best smile. “I should get ready, and you need to go.  I’ll see you later.” He leans in placing a quick kiss on Jungkook’s cheek as he dashes to the bathroom.  He locks the bathroom door and turns the faucet and tub on.  He kneels as he vomits wondering how he is ever going to tell Jungkook the truth.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung stares down at the blood as its collected into the tube.  He closes his eyes trying to will the nausea and the splitting headache he has away. He looks up to see a concerned Doris staring back at him.

“I’m sure I’m fine.  It’s probably nothing.  Just overreacting,” he says quickly as he pulls his sleeve down.

Doris nods. “I’m sure you’re right. You came alone.”

Taehyung nods but doesn’t look up again. “Jungkookie was busy.”

“He’s never too busy for you.  You...haven’t told him.”

Taehyung tenses as he looks up at Doris.  He tearfully shakes his head. Doris let’s out a breath and wraps an arm around Taehyung’s shoulders.  “You need to tell him Tae.  Today.”

“Do you think I’m sick again?” Taehyung asks sniffling.

“I think you need to talk to your mate.”

Taehyung wipes his eyes and nods.  “When will the results be in?”

“Dr. Allen put a rush on them.  They’ll take a few hours.  He said he would call you with the results as soon as they came in. In the meantime, you should go and talk to Jungkook.  You can’t leave him in dark about all of this.”

Taehyung knows he should, but he’s so far, so deep in his fear he really doesn’t think he can.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung sits on the bench across from The Greenway Carousel.  He came here after his appointment thinking this place would cheer him up, but it only put him in a deeper funk than before.  He tried to take a ride, but the nausea became so bad he immediately had to get off and throw up in a nearby trash can.  It's been two hours since his appointment and he’s just been sitting here, staring, spacing out.  He feels his phone vibrate and steals a quick glance. Yoongi.  He sends it to voicemail.  He knows he’s shutting down again, pushing people away, but he can’t seem to pull himself out of his own head now. 

Taehyung looks out at the happy faces on the carousel and wonders if he’ll ever be that happy again.  He should’ve known the kind of happiness he was experiencing was short lived.  He puts his face in his hands and sighs.  “What the fuck am I going to do?” He startles as he feels his phone vibrate again.  He looks at it and freezes as he stares at the number.  He takes a deep breath and answers, hands shaking.

“Hi, Dr. Allen.”

“Good afternoon, Tae.  How are you feeling?”

Taehyung grips the phone in his hands. “If I’m being honest, like shit.”

Dr. Allen hums. “That’s to be expected. Taehyung...I’d like you to come in.  Can you be here in an hour?”

“You want me to come in? Did my results come back?”

“They did. And I’d like you to bring Jungkook as well.”

Taehyung freezes.  His heart falls into his stomach. “Jungkook? You want me to come in with him too?”

“Yes, I think it’s necessary.  I’ll see you in an hour.”

Taehyung hangs up the call, hands shaking.  He bites down hard on his lip not only trying to control the tears that are now threatening to fall, but also the nauseous feeling that is taking over.  He tries to steady himself, take deep controlled breaths, but they come out short and anxious.  “Why with Jungkook?” he asks himself, “there has to be a reason.  A fucked-up reason.” He slowly lifts himself off the bench, knees shaking. There’s no point in hiding this anymore.  He knows what’s coming again.  He turns and takes one last look at the carousel and walks sadly away.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook stands in front of Scotty as the young boxer weaves back and forth, punching the mitts on Jungkook’s hands.  “That’s it, keep your hands up. Faster...you need to move faster.” Jungkook scrunches his nose and anxiously turns his head.  Burnt apple pie.  He sees his mate standing to the side, head down, fidgeting with a button on his shirt.  Jungkook frowns and grimaces.  The smell is overpowering, and it scares Jungkook to his core because he can smell the fear in it.  “Scotty...hang on.” Scotty freezes and looks at Jungkook confused then turns to see Taehyung.  He sighs.  He locks eyes with Taehyung who has finally lifted his head and he can see how pale the omega looks.

“Is he still sick?” Scotty asks Jungkook who turns to look at the young boxer dumbfounded.

“Still sick? What do you mean?”

“He--I thought he might have told you by now.  He really wasn’t feeling well when I was working with him yesterday.  He—fuck, he told me not to mention it to you.  I’m sorry Jungkook,” Scotty looks away filled with guilt.  Jungkook looks back at Taehyung as he feels his breathing start to hitch.

“Tae?”

“Jungkook,” Taehyung apprehensively moves forward, “I--can we talk...in private.” Jungkook is unable to speak as he nods and extends his hand out.  Taehyung takes it as they walk hand in hand in silence to the back office.  Taehyung enters the office releasing Jungkook’s hand and wraps his arms around himself.  He throws the hoodie over his head wishing he could disappear into it forever and not have to do this. Jungkook closes the door and locks it, takes a deep breath and turns to look at his mate.

“What’s going on Baby?”

“I--I--”

Jungkook walks slowly to Taehyung and cups his face. “It’s ok. Tell me.”

“I haven’t been honest with you lately...I’ve been feeling sick...again,” Taehyung says as his bottom lip quivers.  Jungkook feels his heart drop.

“Sick how?”

“Nauseous, dizzy. I’ve been throwing up a lot.  Feeling really tired.  I-I fainted yesterday.”

Jungkook lets out a shaky breath. “You what?”

“I fainted.  Yoongi found me on the floor in our bedroom. I made him promise not to tell you.”

Jungkook swallows hard, scrunching his brows. “Why? Why Taehyung?”

“Because we’ve been happy! We’ve been so happy Jungkook! I—just couldn’t bring myself to ruin that for you,” Taehyung replies as tears fall down his cheeks. Jungkook wipes them gently and kisses Taehyung softly on the lips.

“So instead, you decided to deal with all of this on your own...again?! Taehyung...I thought we were past this.  The not being honest with each other part.”

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung responds tearfully.  “I was scared...I’m so scared.” Jungkook releases his scent in the hopes it might help, but he’s pretty sure at this point nothing will.

“How long? How long have you been feeling sick?”

“A couple of weeks now.”

Jungkook shakes his head, confused. “How? I—I haven’t felt anything.  At all.  Except for yesterday and I’m guessing that was because you fainted. Baby, I haven’t felt anything concerning when it came to you.  The last two times I felt it.  Why didn’t I feel—why don’t I feel the pain? And your scent.  It’s been normal—“

“I’ve been controlling it.  Like you taught me,” Taehyung replies feeling awful.

Jungkook shakes his head and snorts.  “I knew you’d use that for evil instead of good.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Maybe...maybe you’re not sick like you think.  Maybe it’s something else.  Let’s not jump to conclusions--”

“I wasn’t volunteering today Jungkook.  I lied about that too.  I was getting my bloodwork done.  And I got a call from Dr. Allen.  He wants me to come in to discuss the results and he specifically asked that you come with me.”

Jungkook gulps. “Me? He wants me to come too?”

“Yeah Jungkook.  He wants you there too.  Why do you think that is? Hmm? You still want to talk about how I’m jumping to conclusions.  Still think fate forgot about us and left us alone to be happy? It’s--happening again.  I knew I shouldn’t have stopped taking the maintenance meds, but Dr. Allen was so sure I didn’t need them anymore.  I fucking knew!” Taehyung chokes out as he puts a hand against his mouth to suppress the sob.

Jungkook takes Taehyung wrapping him in his arms and holding on tightly. “Then we’ll fight again.  We’ll beat it again--”

“Jungkook--”

“No! This—fuck! This is not happening again.  I was going to---not again,” he cries burying his face into Taehyung’s shoulder releasing tears.  He knows he should be strong for his omega, but he can’t suppress the raw emotions he’s feeling right now.

Taehyung runs his fingers through Jungkook’s hair and sniffles. “It’s ok Jungkookie. It’s ok to cry.  I’m angry too. But we don’t have time to be angry or sad right now.  We have to get to my appointment.”

Jungkook pulls back and wipes at his eyes, nodding silently. 

“Just know that whatever happens, the time that I’ve had, the last 2 years with you, have been the happiest that I’ve ever been. I’m grateful for that. I love you.”

Jungkook’s eyes water again as he looks deep into the eyes of the love of his life. “I love you too Princess.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung holds tightly onto Jungkook’s hand as they walk into Dr. Allen's office.  He locks eyes with the doctor who gives him a warm smile and gestures for them to take a seat. 

“How have you both been?” Dr. Allen asks as he pulls a folder and places it in front of himself.

Taehyung can’t help but snort at the cheerful nature of the doctor. “How have we been? I mean...seriously?!”

“Tae--” Jungkook says squeezing Taehyung’s hand.

Dr. Allen gives Taehyung a sympathetic look.  “I’m sorry Taehyung.  It was not my intention to make you upset.  It’s just that results like these I felt needed to be given in person, with BOTH of you present.”

Taehyung closes his eyes and tries to steady his breathing as he smells Jungkook’s scent sour.  He turns to look at the Alpha who is trying to hide his fear in vain. “I knew it,” Taehyung mumbles. “Well, we’re both here so go ahead tell us.  It’s not like we don’t already know.”

Dr. Allen shakes his head and looks from Taehyung to Jungkook. “No, Taehyung you have no idea.  When I tell you that you and your bond should be examined and researched,” says the doctor in astonishment as he opens the folder. “Your blood count is fine Taehyung.  You’re still in remission.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen in shock as he looks to Jungkook who looks equally surprised. “What?! But...wait...what?! Are you sure?!”

“Yes.  100% sure.  Your platelets continue to be very normal.”

Jungkook frowns. “But...he’s been feeling sick.  He—he fainted yesterday.  What—what’s going on then?”

Dr. Allen smiles.  “Taehyung, you’re pregnant.”

Taehyung swears he must be hearing things or maybe the cancer has finally traveled to his brain, and he’s lost it.  He sits silently staring at the doctor completely unable to move or speak.  Jungkook isn’t fairing any better as he turns to look at Taehyung in complete shock as well.

“He’s what?” Jungkook asks making sure he actually heard correctly.

“You’re both having a baby.  Congratulations! You’re pregnant Taehyung!”

“With emotion?” Taehyung asks seriously, making Dr. Allen chuckle.

“With a baby.  An actual baby Taehyung.”

--That’s impossible.  You told me so.  You said 2%,” Taehyung responds staring at the doctor with eyes as wide as flying saucers.

“I never said impossible.  I said 2%.  You defied the 2%.  Just as you did with the stem cell treatment and your remission.  You two are an anomaly I can’t begin to explain.  So I’ve stopped trying.  You are still in remission and very much pregnant.”

Taehyung continues to sit silently staring at Jungkook who looks lost staring into space at nothing in particular.  “Um...so what happens now?” he asks confused.

“I have an appointment setup for you for an ultrasound and then with an ob/gyn.  They’ll be able to control your nausea and the overall icky feeling you’ve been having, which is all normal for the first trimester. I don’t want you worrying.”

Taehyung nods turning to look at Jungkook who is still very silent.  Taehyung gulps as Jungkook rises from his seat. “Thank you, Dr. Allen.  You’re probably busy and we shouldn’t take any more of your time.” Taehyung looks up at Jungkook frowning as he gets up from the chair as well.

“Take care of yourself Taehyung.  We’ll talk soon.  And again, congratulations,” Dr. Allen says cheerfully as Jungkook turns and hurries out of the office with Taehyung quickly trailing behind.

“Jungkook--”

“Here,” Jungkook hands the car keys to Taehyung not making eye contact, “take the car.  I’ll take an UBER back to the gym.”

Taehyung opens his mouth in shock. “What--you’re going back to the gym? Right now?!”

“Scotty has his fight soon...I--I need to get back,” Jungkook responds, completely void of emotion.

Taehyung scoffs, “His fight? That’s what you’re worried about right now? Really?” Taehyung shakes his head in disbelief. “You know what...fine. Go.”

Jungkook leans in and places a kiss on Taehyung’s cheek.  “I’ll see you later,” he mumbles as he exits and leaves Taehyung standing utterly confused. 

Taehyung doesn’t know if he should cry or scream.  This morning he was positive he was sick with a relapse again and now he’s being told he’s not only still in remission, but that he’s...pregnant?! Taehyung doesn’t know what to feel.  He knows his emotions are all over the place and guilt is the one that’s taking over the most because he should be happy.  Shouldn’t he be? So why is he still feeling the overwhelming feeling of fear? He takes a deep breath and turns back around and up to Dr. Allen’s office again. 

“Tae? Did you forget something,” Dr. Allen’s secretary asks concerned.

“Yeah, I did.  I forgot to ask him some questions.  Is he still in there? Can—can I talk to him?”

“Hang on a second Tae, let me check,” the secretary responds as she disappears into the doctor’s office.  She returns moments later giving Taehyung a small smile.  “Go ahead in Tae. It’s ok.”

“Thanks,” Taehyung responds as he reenters the office.

“Taehyung--”

“What are the odds that my baby will get cancer?” Taehyung blurts out.

“Taehyung?”

“It runs in my family.  My genetics clearly has this fucked up cancer gene.  How probable is it that I’ll pass this onto my baby? And I want you to be honest with me.”

Dr. Allen sighs. “It doesn’t usually run in families, but people can inherit genetic features that increase their risk of developing cancer. If—one parent has it--” Dr. Allen hesitates.

“What percent? How probable?” Taehyung asks again.

“10%. About 10%.”

Taehyung shakes his head.  “And the probability of me relapsing? What’s the percentage of that?”

“Taehyung--”

“No see that’s the thing.  I should be fucking happy about this right? Anyone would be happy about this...but I can’t seem to feel it because the first thing that came into my mind was will they get sick at some point too? Am I setting them up for this fucking disease to cause havoc in their lives too? And how long...how long until I get sick again and--” Taehyung feels like he’s drowning right now.  He sits down and takes in shallow breaths.

Dr. Allen rushes to his side. “Tae, breath.  I need you to breathe.  Let me get Jungkook--”

“Jungkook,” Taehyung says through shallow breaths, “Do you see him here? He left.  He--” Taehyung looks down at his hoodie as his eyes water.  For all the talk the Alpha does about support he sure did leave really fast at the news.  And to Taehyung that could only mean one thing...he’s not happy about this either.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Jungkook pushes the double doors to the gym and walks past everyone without saying a word.  He keeps his gaze down and makes a beeline to the back office.  Namjoon looks up and frowns when he sees the state his brother seems to be in.  “Hey Hobes! Think you can take over for me please?” he says to Hobi who nods as Namjoon hurriedly follows Jungkook into the back office. 

“Not now Namjoon.  Get the fuck out.  I’m not in the fucking mood right now,” Jungkook angrily says as he walks to the punching bag that hangs in the office and starts to angrily punch at it.

“Yikes.  I wouldn’t want to be the face you’re envisioning in that bag right now.  Who the fuck has you so angry?” Namjoon asks staring, concerned at Jungkook.

Jungkook keeps punching hard, laying blow after blow to the punching bag with his raw knuckles.  He’s working the bag so hard; his knuckles start to bleed.

Namjoon steps closer and places a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder.  If this was past Jungkook, Namjoon would’ve have never attempted this, but this Jungkook, “Kook...stop,” Namjoon says squeezing hard. Jungkook drops his hands and breaths heavily.

“Me.  The face I’m fucking up in this bag is me.  I fucked up Joon.  I fucked up big time,”

Namjoon sighs and takes Jungkook’s bloodied fist in his hands.  “Come on,” he guides Jungkook to the desk chair and motions for him to sit down.  Namjoon pulls the first aid kit from the desk and starts to cleanup Jungkook’s hands.

“Taehyung is pregnant,” Jungkook says biting his cheek.

Namjoon gapes at him in shock. “Oh my god Jungkook! Are you serious?! What?! That’s amazing! Congratulations!”

“No--fuck.  I fucked up.  We were at the doctor’s because he hasn’t been feeling well.  We were so sure Joon.  We were positive it had come back.  His cancer.”

“But it's not, right?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “No. He’s still in remission.  He’s pregnant.”

Namjoon frowns. “And...is this not a good thing?”

“I left Joon.  I—fuck! I didn’t know how to react.  We didn’t plan this.  2%.  We never thought this would happen.  I was caught off guard. One minute I thought I had to prepare myself to lose him and then I was being told we were going to be parents.  And I don’t know---I sort of shut down.  I—left him. Alone. At the hospital. Gave him the keys and took and UBER here.  I just left him,” Jungkook says guilt filling him inside.

Namjoon takes a deep breath. “Ok...I’m sure if you explain it to Taehyung--”

“How am I going to do this Joon? Raise a kid? How—I'm not someone who should be raising kids,” Jungkook laments.

“Namjoon stares at Jungkook frowning. “Why not? What do you mean?”

“Joon...I’m a fucking asshole! Look! I left my mate, my omega alone when I should’ve been there with him.  You know how fucked up I am.  What a fucked-up childhood I had.  I don’t know how to be a parent let alone a good parent.  What if I turn out being a shit dad like mine was.  What if—what if I turn into someone like Jack--”

“Stop! You could never.  Jungkook, you aren’t an asshole. I mean, to be honest, you were,” Namjoon says as Jungkook groans, “but were is the key word.  Were.  You’ve bettered yourself into a better Alpha, a better person.  Believe me you will never be your parents or Jack.  And I know you guys didn’t plan this, but it happened.  Fuck Kook like everything else you beat the odds.  You have so much love to give, this is another way to give it back.  By being a parent.  The best parent you can be.  I know you Jungkook.  And I know why you’re afraid, but you don’t need to be.  Look at who your mate is.  You both, together, are going to be exceptional parents.”

Jungkook sniffles. “You really think so?”

“That’s of course if Taehyung doesn’t kill you or decide to kick you out of the house.  Leaving him alone like that was pretty shitty Jungkook.  Jin would’ve killed me.”

Jungkook lets out a huff.  “I know.  I know I fucked up.” He knows he panicked and reacted as he has done in the past.  He can’t imagine what Taehyung must be feeling right now.  “Joon, think you can take over here for the rest of the day.  I need to talk to Tae.  I need to fix this.”

Namjoon nods. “Sure thing.  You better fix this before you have both Jin and Yoongi banding together to murder you.”

Jungkook groans again.

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung reaches into his backpack and pulls out the small blanket and places it on the ground in front of his parents' gravestones.  He then takes out his book, running his fingers across the front cover. He can feel his phone ringing in his pocket but ignores it.  He knows who it is. “Now you want to talk?” he scoffs.  “Fuck that and fuck you Jungkook.” Taehyung reaches in and shuts his phone off completely.  He doesn’t want to be interrupted here.  Not when he’s with them.

“I know I was just here reading to you Mom, but—I need to be here right now.  I’m…pregnant.  Like actually pregnant. And I’m not really sure how I feel about it.  No. That’s a lie.  I’m anxious. And scared. Terrified actually.  I know I should be happy but with everything, it’s an emotion I don’t know if I can let in.  So, I’m here.  Because I don’t want people to tell me I’m crazy because I’m not jumping up and down with joy over this.  I don’t want people invalidating my feelings.  I don’t want people acting like they’re supportive when they’re clearly not.” Taehyung shakes his head and tries to clear his mind.  He opens the book and starts to read.

📖 Sasha wanted to raise him herself, at least as much as she could. She had very definite ideas about how her son should be raised. She loved him dearly and wanted to be with him for her own selfish reasons. But she also realized that she had a deep and solemn responsibility in the matter of Peter's nurture. This little boy would be King someday, and above all else, Sasha wanted him to be good. A good boy, she thought, would be a good King.

“Hey.”

Taehyung nearly jumps out of his skin as he grips his chest completely startled.  He turns to see Yoongi standing in front of him, eyes curious.

“How did you know I was here?”

Yoongi snorts. “Seriously? Best friends. Since we were 4.” Yoongi walks over and nudges Taehyung to move over a bit and sits down next to him on the blanket. “You’re not answering your phone. Jungkook keeps calling me.  Asked me if I knew where you were.”

Taehyung tenses.  “And? You didn’t tell him I was here, did you?”

“No.  It sounded like you didn’t want to be found.  Although I think he might have a fair idea where you are.  Want to tell me why you’re hiding here? Does—“ Yoongi sighs heavily, “does this have to do with your test results? And why you’ve been ignoring my calls too?”

Taehyung stares at his mother’s headstone.  “I’m not sick.  I’m pregnant,” Taehyung says turning to look at Yoongi whose eyes have turned comically wide. “Yeah, no shit.  Exactly my reaction.”

“Wait? Really? You’re really pregnant?”

“Yup. 2% Yoongi,” Taehyung replies looking down at his book opening it again.

“But…you don’t sound happy.  What’s going on? In your head right now? And why aren’t you talking to Jungkook?”

Taehyung sighs.  He’s tired.  And nauseous.  And he hasn’t eaten all day.  And he definitely doesn’t want to go home. “Can I stay at your place tonight?” Taehyung asks as he glances over, eyes falling on the empty plot next to his mother.  It makes him shiver.  “I wonder how long till I’ll need that,” he asks absentmindedly.

“Not for a real fucking long time Princess.”

Taehyung groans and rolls his eyes.  He doesn’t turn to acknowledge the Alpha standing behind him. “I’m not doing this right now Jungkook.  And definitely not here in front of my parents.  I’ll talk to you when I’m good and ready and I’m not ready.  I have a lot to think about right now and I’m here because you weren’t.  So leave.” Taehyung doesn’t turn once to acknowledge Jungkook’s presence.

“I deserve that.  I know I do, but…we need to talk Tae.  I know I panicked and fucked up,” Jungkook says as Yoongi turns to angrily glare at him, “but we need to talk now.”

“Nope.  You don’t get to walk away and leave me alone in that hospital the way you did to show up here now in front of my parents demanding to talk.  I’M not ready to talk now.  I told you; I have things I need to sort out in my head.”

“What kind of things? Me? Us?” Jungkook hesitates as he briefly glances at Yoongi, “about the baby?”

“About everything Jungkook.  I want to be away from you right now.  And I think I’m allowed it.  You had no problem doing it to me this afternoon so at least give me the same courtesy now.”

Yoongi purses his lips as he continues to glare at Jungkook.  “He’s staying with me tonight.  I’ll give him a ride.”

“No need,” Taehyung responds, “Jungkook made sure to give me the car when he left me at the hospital to run off to the gym like his ass was on fire.”

Jungkook sighs.  He really did fuck up. “Fine. Ok.  We can talk when you’re ready.  For what it’s worth Tae I’m sorry about what I did and how I reacted.  And regardless of what you probably think of me right now I love you…and I love that baby too.” Jungkook puts his head down, defeated and sad as he walks away from his mate.

“I love you too,” Taehyung says quietly, “but right now, fuck you.”

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

Taehyung tiredly unlocks his front door and shuffles in.  He didn’t get any sleep last night.  No matter how much he tried he couldn’t shut his mind off.  There’s also the matter of still feeling like absolute shit.  He’s so nauseous and it’s become a chore to eat and try to keep anything down.

As always, he’s grateful for Yoongi and for having someone like him in his life.  And as much as he would like to stay at Yoongi’s apartment and hide for all eternity, he knew he would have to go home at some point.  As he walked through the door, he took solace in knowing that Jungkook is at the gym right now anyway and wouldn’t have to see him.

Which is why he’s immediately taken back when he spots the Alpha sitting on the couch the second he enters the door.  Their eyes meet and at that moment Taehyung knows he won’t be able to avoid the confrontation anymore.  No matter how crappy he’s feeling.

“Tae! You’re back!” Jungkook exclaims as he jumps off the couch running up to Taehyung.  He reaches out to him, but Taehyung recoils as he rushes past Jungkook and down the hall into the bathroom just in time to make it to the toilet.  He drops to his knees and throws up. He’s not even sure what he’s throwing up since he wasn’t even able to keep anything down this morning.

Jungkook rushes in and looks down and for a split second he flashes back to a different Taehyung.  A sicker Taehyung.  A pale Taehyung wearing a beanie and he feels an overwhelming sense of guilt. He bends down next to him and pulls a wad of toilet paper. Taehyung leans back putting his hand against his forehead and closes his eyes.  Jungkook leans in and gently wipes Taehyung’s mouth making him snap his eyes open and pull back.

“I’m sorry Tae.  I—I was so wrapped up in my own shit yesterday I didn’t even think about the fact that you’re still healthy.  That you’re in remission and that I—never have to see you like that again.”

“Not never,” Taehyung replies as he gets up, “remission is temporary.  You know that better than most people.” Taehyung brushes his teeth feeling the intense gaze of his alpha on his back.  He swallows down bile as he turns and moves past Jungkook without a word into their bedroom and crawls into bed.  He hates to admit it but being surrounded by Jungkook’s scent is actually making him feel better. 

Jungkook quietly stands and stares.  He doesn’t know how to begin this with Taehyung.  Not when Taehyung seems so against talking to him.  And he can’t even blame him.

“Just say what you’re going to say Jungkook so that I can try to get some sleep.  I’m exhausted.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Jungkook can’t help asking because after yesterday he would understand fully if this is what Taehyung wants.

Taehyung turns back and stares at Jungkook.  “We’re mates.  Actually mated and super soulmates.  Do you think it’s that easy? Just breaking up?”

“You said you needed to think…about us.  About…the baby.”

Taehyung sighs. “Yeah, I did.  I do.” Taehyung sits up in bed and turns to look at Jungkook fully. “You really have no clue the way you made me feel by leaving me there on my own.  But I guess I can’t even blame you,” he says shrugging, “I wish I could’ve left me too.”

Jungkook’s heart aches at hearing Taehyung.  He walks cautiously towards the bed not wanting to set the omega off.  He sits at the edge and reaches out for Taehyung’s hand who immediately retreats back.

“Tae, leaving the way I did yesterday was shitty, even for my standards. I panicked, but it didn’t have anything to do with you.”

Taehyung let’s out a scoff. “It had a lot to do with me,” he responds placing a hand on his stomach.

“I was scared Tae.  Being a parent scares me.  I’m afraid of being a bad parent.  Of turning into my parents…or Jack.”

Taehyung’s eyes snap to meet Jungkook’s. He sighs and leans into Jungkook and gives his hand a reassuring squeeze. “You could never be that.”

“I already started. I abandoned you and the baby at that hospital yesterday and left.”

Taehyung let’s go of Jungkook’s hand and leans back against the headboard.  “Jungkook, you aren’t the only one who’s scared.  It’s not all about you.  And I’m not trying to be insensitive but fuck you Jungkook.  Not only did I think I had cancer again, but to then be told that the reality is I’m pregnant and now responsible for another life,” Taehyung shakes his head. “I needed support and you left.”

“I know.  And I’m sorry.  I’m so fucking sorry Tae.  As much as I try every day to not be that old Jungkook he somehow manages to sneak his way back.”

Jungkook suddenly frowns when he runs through what Taehyung just said. “What are you afraid of Baby?”

“You know cancer is genetic right? The probability of passing it on becomes higher depending on genetics and who’s had it before. Or do I also need to mention the probability of relapse after a stem cell procedure—“

“9.5%,” Jungkook answers quickly prompting Taehyung to stare back surprised. “I researched it when you went into remission”

Taehyung nods. “10%.  10 may not seem like much, but it doesn’t seem as outrageous when you think about how improbable getting pregnant was and yet here we are.”

“I’m not following.  Tae…do you not want to keep the baby?”

Taehyung closes his eyes and exhales. “You aren’t the only one that’s scared,” he repeats. “I’m happy Jungkook.  I’m happy in my life.  The most happy.  But do you know that I live that life waiting.  I wait for that happiness to be snatched from me at every turn. I’ve become that person I hate the most.  The one who can’t cough without thinking I’m dying.”

“Tae…Baby, that’s—fuck Tae that’s not healthy for you.  To constantly be focusing on that.”

“What should I focus on then? Should I focus more on worrying and making sure I’m healthy so that I can keep you protected?  Because I do that too. I think about that all the fucking time.  How to keep you alive when this thing comes back.”

“Taehyung—“

“But now this is different.” Taehyung places a hand on his stomach and looks down. “I’m not only responsible for your fate.  Now I’m responsible for theirs too.  How could I do that again? How could I chain someone I love like that again?”

“Chain? I don’t understand,” Jungkook inches closer to Taehyung releasing his scent. 

“What if they get cancer too someday because of my shitty family genetics.  What—“ Taehyung’s eyes water, “what if I relapse again and get sick.  What if that time—they’ll be left alone.  Without the both of us.  I would’ve curse them too. They’d be like…me.”

Jungkook releases a breath and surges forward wrapping a shaking Taehyung in his arms.  Jungkook really does hate himself for leaving him alone the way he did. Now more than ever.

“I—I didn’t know you were feeling all of this.  I’m sorry.  I had no idea.” Jungkook can feel Taehyung start to relax in his arms.  He pulls back and cups his face. “You need to tell me these things.  Why do you not tell me these fucking things?”

“Because you have your own shit! Clearly! The last thing I want to do is put my crazy on your crazy!”

Jungkook shakes his head and frowns.  “That’s not how this works.  We need to stop being like this Taehyung.  Both of us.  It’s like we haven’t learned from the past yet.  We both hold on to so much then close off from each other when we get scared.  I do it and you do it and we need to stop.” Jungkook places his hand on Taehyung’s stomach making him tense. “Because it’s really not about us anymore.  We have so much more to focus on.”

“You aren’t hearing me! Did you not hear what I said—“

“No, I heard you.  I heard fear.  And a shit ton of anxiety.   I feel it too and look what happens when we try to fix it by ourselves.  It’s a fucking disaster.  We need to do this the way it always works for us…together.  Everything works out for us if we support each other and work together.”

Taehyung bites his lip and gives him a small shake of the head.  “I can’t do this to them,” Taehyung says looking down at Jungkook’s hand.

“You aren’t doing anything to them.  Tae, we can’t control the future. What’s going to happen will happen regardless of what any of us do.  You can’t drive yourself crazy trying to.  And you can’t live your life waiting for only the bad to happen.  Look at what happens when we focus on the shitty stuff.  We miss out on the really wonderful, amazing, beautiful things.  We should’ve been celebrating yesterday and instead we let all of our negative emotions take over.  We made something that was frankly impossible.  Why aren’t we focusing on that? Why was it so easy for us to be sucked in by all of our negative shit? I don’t want to do that anymore.  You shouldn’t either.”

“What if we leave them all alone.  I—don’t want that for them.”

Jungkook pulls Taehyung close. “They aren’t alone Baby,” he says sighing. “And neither were you.  I know it felt like you were, but you had Jin and Yoongi.  And we have so many more people who are part of our family now.  They’ll never be alone Tae. Just like we won’t.”

“I was alone yesterday,” Taehyung pouts. “You left me alone.”

Jungkook closes his eyes and breathes. “I know.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for doing that to both of you.  I promise you I won’t ever do that again.”

Taehyung silently stares at Jungkook. His mind going a mile a minute.

Jungkook leans in and looks deep into his mate’s eyes.  He knows his emotions are wreaking havoc.  He can feel the confusion and internal conflict Taehyung is going through.

“Tae…I need you to answer me without thinking…what do you want?”

“I want to keep our baby!” Taehyung blurts out making Jungkook smile widely. Taehyung sighs and closes his eyes.  He reaches down and places his hand on top of Jungkook’s.  He opens his eyes and looks deep into his Alpha’s eyes and nods. “I want to keep our baby.  I want to have our baby.”

Jungkook smiles. “Ok then.  We’re having a baby.”

🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼

Taehyung lies on the table looking up at the screen while Jungkook holds his hand squinting his eyes at the screen as well.  The radiology technician carefully and slowly passes the wand over Taehyung’s belly for his first ultrasound.  They have an appointment with their new ob/gyn right after who will work closely with Dr. Allen to make sure Taehyung’s blood count remains normal and his fears are kept at bay.

Taehyung looks from the screen to the technician who looks deep in thought as he stares at the screen.

“Is something wrong?” Taehyung asks worriedly. He feels Jungkook squeeze his hand as he stares at the screen.

“No. It’s just—hang on a sec.  I’ll be right back,” the technician says, smiling as he quickly exits the room.  Taehyung turns to look at Jungkook, terrified look on his face.

“Do you think something is wrong?”

Jungkook gulps. “No. No Baby. I—I’m sure everything is fine.” Jungkook tries to stay as positive as possible trying not to let his emotions get the best of him. He startles when the door opens again.  The radiology technician enters followed by someone else.

“Hi! I’m Cynthia.  I’m John’s colleague.  I’m also a tech.  Mind if I take a look?” she asks as she puts on gloves.

Taehyung looks at Jungkook frowning. “Is something wrong? Is that why you had to go get someone else?” he asks.

“No not at all.  Mind if I look?” Cynthia says giving him a reassuring smile.

“Sure,” Jungkook replies squeezing Taehyung’s hand again.  He bends down and whispers, “It’s ok Princess.  Deep breaths.  Everything is fine.”

Taehyung nods as Cynthia makes her way closer taking the wand and placing it on Taehyung’s stomach again.  She glides it back and forth and inches her face closer to the monitor and smiles. She turns and nods to the other technician. “You were right.”

“Right?” Jungkook asks.

“Is our baby ok?” Taehyung asks staring at the screen.

“Your babies are fine.”

Taehyung breathes a sigh of relief and then frowns looking back at the screen. “Wait…babies?” He turns to look at Jungkook who looks like a deer caught in headlights, big doe eyes large and wide.

“Yes, babies. You, are having twins,” Cynthia announces happily.

Taehyung looks from the screen to Jungkook in shock. “Is this a joke? Did you set this up with them to prank me?” Taehyung says to Jungkook.

“Me?! Why would I do that?!” Jungkook stares at the screen again. “Twins? Are you sure?”

“Positive.  Here is baby A,” Cynthia points to the screen then moves the wand again. “And this is baby B. Congratulations!”

Jungkook smiles and looks down at Taehyung who is anxiously biting his lip.

“Do you want me to print some pictures?”

“Yes please,” Jungkook responds still looking at Taehyung, “but do you think you could give us a minute?”

The technicians both look at Jungkook and nod.  “They’re both perfectly healthy by the way.  Everything is looking great,” Cynthia says to Taehyung as she exits the room.

Jungkook bends down next to Taehyung who covers his stomach with the disposable sheet.  He leans in and kisses Taehyung on the forehead.  “Listen, I can see all that shit, all that negative shit running through your head right now.  This is a happy moment Baby.  Don’t let it get clouded by any of that.  You heard her.  They’re perfectly healthy.  We’re all fine and healthy.  I want you to be happy about this.  I want you to let yourself be happy about this. It’s ok to be scared, but it’s also ok to feel happy.”

Taehyung nods as tears fill his eyes. “I am happy,” he whispers. “I am so so happy. I never thought I would ever get to even have one--” he chokes out. “And now I’m having two. Yeah Jungkookie, I’m happy.  I’m really fucking happy,” he says laughing as he looks at the screen holding his stomach.

Jungkook smiles kissing Taehyung on the lips.  “Me too Princess. So fucking happy!”

🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼

Jin watches Taehyung come back from the bathroom and take his spot at the table.  He notices Taehyung has been spending a lot of time in the bathroom today and looks a little pale.  He even made those little chocolate truffles Taehyung loves so much and yet he hasn’t even eaten one. 

“Does Tae look a little pale to you?” he asks leaning into Yoongi. Yoongi stiffens in his seat.  It’s Sunday and they are all gathered at Namjoon’s parents’ to have dinner.  It became a weekly tradition 2 years ago when Taehyung entered remission and it hasn’t stopped. 

“Pale? Um...no.  He seems fine.” Yoongi shifts uncomfortably in his chair glancing at Taehyung who raises an eyebrow in curiosity.  Taehyung made Yoongi promise not to tell Jin about the pregnancy yet and he absolutely hates lying to him like this.  He hopes Taehyung plans on telling him soon because poor Jin is starting to suspect things that aren’t the case. “Jin, he’s not sick.  Don’t worry.  He’s fine.  His most recent bloodwork came back completely normal,” Yoongi whispers back. “He’s still in remission.” Jin nods and looks at Taehyung who smiles back at him.

Taehyung turns to Jungkook and whispers, “We definitely have to tell them today.  I think Jin is starting to suspect something is up.” Jungkook turns to look at Jin who is eyeing him suspiciously. He nervously clears his throat and nods.

“I think you’re right. What better time than now Baby.  If you want, go ahead.”

Taehyung blinks back, eyes wide. “Right now?”

“Everyone is here.  There’s really no better time I’d say.”

Taehyung looks around and apprehensively nods. “Yeah. Ok. Sure,” he whispers back to Jungkook. “Um everyone...” he starts as all eyes slowly fall on him. “Jungkook has something he wants to say,” he declares as he leans back in his chair and looks up at Jungkook. “Jungkookie?” he says batting his eyelashes.

“Coward,” Jungkook says looking down laughing. He gets up from his chair and extends a hand out to Taehyung who giggles and takes it rising from his chair as well. “Right. So, we just wanted to tell everyone how much you all mean to us and how much we appreciate all of your love and support.  And well...we hope that continues and extends to the news we have to tell you.”

“News?” Jin asks, eyebrows scrunched. “I knew you two were hiding something,” he says, glancing at Yoongi. “What news?”

“Tae?” Jungkook says looking at his mate.  He can smell the freshest of apple pies and he smiles widely. 

Taehyung takes a deep breath and looks at Jin. “I’m pregnant.”

And for Jin in a split-second Taehyung is no longer adult Taehyung, but instead his tiny nephew who he held in his arms when he was born, held in his arms when his parents passed, and held in his arms when he thought he would lose him forever.  His legs move involuntarily as he makes his way to Taehyung to hold him in his arms again. Only this time as Taehyung, the parent.  “Are you really? Honest?” Jin asks holding him tightly.

“Yes,” Taehyung responds happily. “I most definitely am.”

Jin can’t help releasing a happy sob.  He squeezes Taehyung tightly then pulls back turning to Jungkook. He silently wraps his arms around Jungkook and holds him tightly as well making Taehyung smile. 

“I’m going to be the best fucking uncle ever!” Yoongi declares running to hug Taehyung making Jin pull back from Jungkook and send a glare his way.

“You wish Yoongi.”

“Congratulations Son,” Jungkook’s parents hug him as his mother also releases tears of joy. 

“They are going to be so spoiled,” Jimin declares. “I’m buying him or her ALL the things!”

“Well, make sure you get doubles of everything then,” says Jungkook turning to look at Taehyung.

“What do you mean?” asks Hobi.

“Wait! I have pictures for all of you!” Taehyung says making his way to the bag by the front door.  He comes back and hands copies of the ultrasound to everyone. 

“Baby A and Baby B...” says Namjoon staring at Jungkook confused. “Holy shit are you two having--”

“TWINS! WE’RE HAVING TWINS!” yells Taehyung jumping up and down making Jungkook laugh loudly.

Screams of joy erupt in the room as they are once again engulfed in hugs. “Twins!” yells Jin with tears streaming down his face. “Your parents.  Taehyungie, they would be so happy for you.” Taehyung nods as his eyes water. “And they’re healthy? You’re all healthy? asks Jin.

“Yes.  I mean except for the morning sickness. Morning,” Taehyung scoffs, touching his stomach. “More like all day sickness. It’s been bad, but the doctor said it’s actually pretty normal for twin pregnancies.  He offered me some pills, but I don’t really want to put anything in my body that I don’t have to.  I’ve taken enough pills in my lifetime.  He gave me some suggestions, natural ones, to help with the nausea and dizziness and they’ve been helping and making it somewhat more manageable.  But yes, I’m healthy.  The babies are perfectly healthy.”

“This is cause for celebration says Namjoon’s mother.  “I’m getting the bottle of champagne out! Today we celebrate in style!” she says as she giddily runs off to retrieve the champagne and glasses.

Jungkook stands next to Taehyung and wraps his arm around his waist.  He looks out at his family and friends who are all laughing, crying, and cheering. Jungkook turns happily to Taehyung and leans in “Told you.  They’ll never be alone Princess.”

🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼

Jungkook enters the front door, hands filled with groceries as very freshly baked apple pie hits his senses.  He can’t help smiling knowing it means his mate is happy.  Taehyung has now entered the second trimester and just as his doctor had predicted his nausea and overall morning sickness is barely a problem anymore.  He feels better and in turn feels happier.  And when Taehyung is happy so is Jungkook. 

“She died six months later. In January of 1959.

'But nothing to do with the car,' I said. 'Nothing to do with the car, right?'

'It had everything to do with the car,' he said softly.

I don't want to hear it, I thought But of course I would hear it. Because my friend owned that car now, and because it had become something that had grown out of all proportion to what it should have been in his life.”

Jungkook groans and walks into the living room to find his mate holding a book in one hand, bowl of ice cream expertly being balanced on his swollen belly. “Baby...what are you reading to them now?”

“Jungkookie! You’re home!” Taehyung replies as he happily shoves another spoonful of vanilla ice cream into his mouth.

“Didn’t we talk about reading something a little more...cheerful to the boys,” Jungkook replies walking closer sitting on the end of the couch taking Taehyung’s feet into his lap and starts to rub his heels. Taehyung lets out a moan making Jungkook shoot a smirk at him.

“Don’t look at me like that.  We had sex this morning. And I'm reading them a classic,” Taehyung says as he holds up the book to show Jungkook.

“Is that the one about the killer car?” Jungkook asks, frowning.

“Yup! I love this one!” Taehyung says eating more ice cream.

“Baby, you can’t keep eating so much ice cream.  Remember what the doctor said.  You need to cut down on sugar,” Jungkook says as he takes the bowl off Taehyung’s stomach then places two kisses on his belly then one on Taehyung’s lips.  Jungkook’s licks his own lips tasting the ice cream.

“But the boys love the ice cream.  It makes them feel at ease.”

Jungkook chuckles. “Really? Did they tell you that? How exactly would you know that, Princess?”

“I just do,” pouts Taehyung. “Give us back our ice cream.” Jungkook rolls his eyes but relents handing it back to Taehyung who smirks knowing he got his way.

“You can have it for now, but we’re cutting back.  I bought you a bunch of healthy fruits and vegetables I want you to eat and preferably without the scowl on your face Baby.  It doesn’t suit you pretty boy. How are they feeling today?” Jungkook asks as he sits down again to rub Taehyung’s feet again.

“Good!” Taehyung replies, smile on his face.  “They’ve been kicking, but I’ve been feeling really good today.” Jungkook hums as he glances at the familiar book on the table.

“You’ve been reading it to them without me?” Jungkook laments. “Boys, didn’t I tell your Daddy I wanted to be a part of doing that together with him?” Jungkook says sending Taehyung a glare.

“Jungkookie, I didn’t read it out-loud to them I was reading it to myself. I—I was missing them today,” Taehyung replies shrugging.  Jungkook squeezes his foot and nods.

“I’m just teasing Baby. It’s fine.” Jungkook glances back at the book and then back at Taehyung. “Tae? Since we know they’re both boys now...have you thought about names at all?”

“Names,” asks Taehyung, mouth full of ice cream. “Not really.  Why? Do you have names you’ve been thinking about?”

Jungkook nods, staring back at the book on the table.  “I do.”

Taehyung’s eyes sparkle. “Really?! Let’s hear them!” he says eagerly, slowly sitting up further. 

“Well, I was thinking about it and...what about Peter and Benjamin,” he says looking down at Taehyung’s feet.  He feels Taehyung freeze and he looks up to meet his gaze.

“Peter and Benjamin?” asks Taehyung. “After my mom’s favorite characters?” Taehyung asks motioning to the book on the table.

“And yours.  They’re your favorite too.”

Taehyung takes a deep breath. “You would want to do that? You would really want to name them that?”

“I would.  If you do.”

Taehyung sniffles and wipes his eyes. “I would,” he whispers.  “I would very much like to do that.”

Jungkook smiles and leans back. “Good. Then Pete and Ben it is.”

“And if we ever want to change up the reason for their names to people, we just tell everyone that with great power comes great responsibility,” jokes Taehyung.

Jungkook sighs. “You are such a nerd,” he says rolling his eyes, laughing.

🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼

Jungkook stands in the hallway and takes deep breaths.  He hasn’t felt this much adrenaline since his last fight years ago.  He walks through the double doors and watches his friends and family rush over to him.

“Is it time?” Jin asks nervously.

“It is,” Jungkook replies looking at his parents and Namjoon.  “Tae is getting prepped and ready for the surgery, and I have to go and put on my stuff so that I can be in the operating room with him.  I just wanted to check in before I did.”

“Good luck,” Yoongi says patting him on the back.  “Tell Tae we love him.”

Jungkook nods and looks at Namjoon. “Joon, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure Kook,” Namjoon says as he follows Jungkook to the side by the double doors where he needs to enter through again. “Are you ok?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “No! I’m freaking out here.  I’m trying to keep calm for Tae and the boys, but I am freaking out Joon! I feel like I might pass out!”

Namjoon chuckles and puts his hands on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Did you come out because you needed a pep talk from Coach Namjoon?”

“I came out here because I needed a pep talk from my brother Namjoon.”

Namjoon pulls Jungkook close and hugs him, sniffling. “Jesus, Joon.  Are you fucking crying?! Get it together and pep talk me!”

Namjoon takes a deep breath and pulls back. “Right.  Ok. I’ll give you a speech, but I honestly don’t think you need one Kook.  What could I possibly say that you don’t already know.  Other than you’re going to be fine.  And Taehyung and my nephews are going to be fine.  Look at everyone Kook.  You know how they say it takes a village?”

Jungkook looks out into the waiting room at his family and friends and nods.

“You and Tae and those babies don’t just have a village. You have a whole fucking planet.  We’re here Kook.  We love you and we’re here.  You’ve both come a long way.  Don’t be afraid to take the next step into the next chapter of your long life together.  I told you before.  A love story like yours is for the books.  Like the ones Taehyung loves to read so much.  You don’t need to freak out or worry about anything Kook.  Your happy ending is etched in stone.  No one can take it from you.”

Jungkook puffs out a breath of air choking back tears. “That was pretty good.”

“I know,” replies Namjoon proudly. “Now go and have my nephews!”

Jungkook turns and smiles, pushing through the double doors ready to enter the next chapter in his life with Taehyung.

🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼

Jungkook looks down at the two little bundles in his arms and he can’t seem to have his brain wrap around the fact that they are his.  His and Taehyung’s.  It doesn’t feel real to him.  He leans in and takes a sniff and smiles.  They both smell like pie a la mode.  He chuckles.  The perfect mixture of him and Taehyung.  He hears Taehyung stir in his sleep and looks up as he watches Taehyung struggle to open his eyes.  His mate exhausted from the surgery; he’s been letting him sleep making everyone wait until they are both ready to have them meet the babies.

“Jungkookie,” Taehyung groggily says.  “Can I hold our babies please?”

Jungkook smiles warmly at his mate and gets up carefully putting both babies into Taehyung’s arms. Taehyung holds them tightly and melts into their smell.  “Jungkookie, they smell so much like us.”

“They do,” Jungkook replies looking at Taehyung feeling an overwhelming feeling of endearment. “I love you,” he says making Taehyung blush.

“I love you too Jungkookie.” They both turn their attention to the knock on the door.  It opens slightly as Yoongi sticks his head in.

“I know we agreed to let all of you rest, but we’re growing impatient.  I NEED to meet my nephews!” Yoongi says whining. Jungkook laughs as he glances at Taehyung who nods.

“Come in Yoongi.” Jungkook watches Jin appear from behind Yoongi pushing him aside.

“Move Yoongi.  Let me see my babies,” Jin says as he enters the room beelining to Taehyung. “Taehyungie...oh my god. Can I hold them?”

“One! You get to hold one and I hold the other.  You aren’t bogarting the babies Jin,” Yoongi says annoyed.

“Lucky for you, there’s two of them,” Jungkook replies rolling his eyes.

“Here Yoongs, you take Ben,” Taehyung says as Jungkook carefully takes the baby and places him in Yoongi’s arms. Yoongi gasps and looks up at Jungkook.

“I know.  I felt it too when I first held him,” Jungkook says to Yoongi who tearfully nods. Jin bends down and carefully lifts the baby out of Taehyung’s arms.

“This is Peter,” Taehyung says as Jin looks into his eyes as he suppresses a sob.  He looks down at the baby and smiles as happy silent tears fall down his cheeks. 

“You named them after your favorite characters from The Eyes of the Dragon,” Yoongi says, looking down cooing at Ben.

“Ryeo’s too,” replies Jin, rocking the baby back and forth in his arms. “I wish they were here.  I wish she--” Jin takes a deep breath. “You know what little one, none of that.  Today only happy tears.  Plus, I know for a fact they’re both looking down on you,” Jin looks at Taehyung, “On all of you.”

“Jin, Joon said he’s been trying to call you, but hasn’t been able to get through to you. He said he needs to ask you something.  I’m not really sure,” Jungkook looks down at his phone. Jin pulls out his phone with a free hand and frowns.  “I haven’t received any missed calls from him.”

“Must be something wrong with your phone. Oh, he’s calling again. You want to take it on mine? Baby, can you take Pete again while I lend my phone to Jin.  You can take the call out in the hallway.”

Jin huffs as he reluctantly hands the baby carefully back to Taehyung. “This better be good.  Stupid Alpha ruining my time with my babies,” Jin says snatching the phone from Jungkook as he walks out of the room with him quickly following behind.

“Baby, I’ll be right back,” Jungkook says as he shuts the door to the hospital room.

“Jungkook! What the fuck! There’s no one on the phone!”

“I know I needed an excuse to get you alone,” Jungkook whispers pulling Jin farther from Taehyung’s hospital room.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  I need to talk to you about something.  There’s a question I wanted to ask Tae and well...I need your permission...”

🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼

Taehyung stretches and reaches over to pull Jungkook close, but he feels an empty bed.  His eyes snap open and doesn’t see his alpha next to him.  “Jungkookie?” he loudly asks, groggy and hoarse.  Taehyung slowly lifts himself up in bed grimacing a bit.  It’s been a couple of days since they returned back home from the hospital as a family and although the pain from his surgery has subsided a bit, he can still feel it at times if he moves a certain way.  According to the doctor he has a whole 6 weeks of recovery ahead of him, but considering all the past medical things he’s had to endure this is a piece of cake.  He reaches for the hoodie draped over the headboard and throws it on, snuggling into it.

Taehyung glances at the two bassinets in their bedroom. Empty.  They had decided it would be easier to have the twins sleep next to them in their room to better care for them and feed them in the middle of the night and to help ease a little bit of Taehyung’s anxiety. 

“Princess?”

Taehyung looks at the closed bedroom door as it opens.  Jungkook peeks his head in and smiles when he spots Taehyung. “You’re up. Look, Daddy is up.” Jungkook walks in both babies expertly in his arms. 

“Where were you?” Taehyung asks, rubbing his eyes, reaching for the babies. Jungkook leans down and hands one of the babies to Taehyung.

“I was feeding them and getting them changed.  I wanted you to rest some more Baby. How are you feeling?”

Taehyung leans in and kisses the baby on the forehead.  “Perfect.  I feel perfect. Morning Ben, morning Pete,” he whispers as Jungkook sits next to him on the bed so that Taehyung can kiss Peter good morning as well.

“And me?” pouts Jungkook. Taehyung giggles and kisses Jungkook.

“Morning Jungkookie.”

“Morning Baby.”

“Jungkookie? Think we could sit in the backyard today? It’s supposed to be really nice, and the babies could get some fresh air.”

“No third winter today?” asks Jungkook teasingly.

“Nope,” Taehyung responds laughing. 

“I think sitting outside would be great.  I’ll make some lunch and we can spend the day there reading to them.” Taehyung smiles as he inhales the calming sense of vanilla.

“And we could use the time to celebrate,” Jungkook says as he stares intently at Taehyung.  “You are so pretty you know that.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes.  “You don’t have to butter me up with lines anymore Alpha. You have me already.  Mated and with two babies.”

“They aren’t lines.  They’re facts.  But you’re right, I do have you.  You’re my mate.  My super soulmate. And now the father of my children.  What more could I ask for?”

Taehyung chuckles and bends down to place a gentle kiss on Benjamin’s cheek.  “Your Dad is always being so silly.  If you only saw what he was like when we first met,” Taehyung whispers looking at Jungkook and raising an eyebrow.

“He’s right guys.  I was awful and yet somehow your Daddy forgave me.  Probably because he’s the most forgiving, loving, patient, understanding person I’ve ever met.  It’s probably why I wished for him when we were little.”

Taehyung smiles at Jungkook. “In fact…”

Taehyung looks down to stare at his son in his arms.  He will never tire to stare at them both.  They’re the most beautiful things to have ever existed. 

“…now that I think about it there is definitely something else I could ask for,” continues Jungkook.

Taehyung looks up at Jungkook frowning. “Huh? Um hold on Kook…Jungkookie what did you change the babies into? What is this?”

“I told you.  There’s still a very important thing that I could ask for.  That I want to wish for.  To ask you.”

Taehyung looks down at Benjamin and the onesie he is currently wearing.  He squints and tries to move it down. He gently sets Benjamin down on the bed in front of him and that’s when he finally has the opportunity to read it correctly. 

“Same last name?” he asks Jungkook.  Jungkook nods as he changes positions and holds Peter upright safely supporting his head, but making sure his onesie is very visible.  Taehyung stares and suddenly he gasps.  His eyes widen.  His brain trying to process this and make sure he’s not seeing things.

He locks eyes with Jungkook who moves to sit on the bed next to Taehyung again. “See, I promised you something two years ago in a hospital bed.  We said our vows.”

Jungkook reaches into his pocket and takes out a ring.  A paper ring.  The same one he had made Taehyung out of the pages of his mother’s book.  Taehyung takes a deep breath, vision blurring from the tears forming in his eyes. 

“I told you that was practice.  Don’t you think it’s time we make it a reality Tae?” Jungkook reaches into his pocket again and holds out another ring to Taehyung.

“Oh my god! Jungkook! It’s beautiful!” squeals Taehyung. 

“It’s called the soul mate ring.  It features two individual sections that come together as one -- like you and me, soul mates.”

“Super soulmates,” corrects Taehyung as tears start to fall.

“Exactly.  Super soulmates. Tae, I know you thought it was some kind of curse.  And that I should’ve just kept walking and not stopped that night but sitting here now.  Holding our children, being with you.  I know now more than ever I made the right choice.  The perfect wish.  I would a hundred times over keep making that same wish if it meant I would end up here in this moment with you.”

Taehyung nods in agreement wiping at his falling tears. “I love you.  And you gave me something I honestly never thought I’d be worthy of. Love.  But you didn’t stop there.  You taught me about compassion. And empathy. And what it really means to be selfless.  You taught me strength and perseverance.  And I intend on spending the rest of my life learning more from you and from our children.” Jungkook kisses Peter on the head then turns to Taehyung again. 

“So the boys and I were talking,” Jungkook says making Taehyung giggle through tears. “And they think it’s time we make it real official. Boys, alert now.  You don’t want to miss this moment.”

Taehyung laughs as Jungkook gently rises from the bed and places one knee on it while holding Peter. “Taehyung, my Princess…will you marry me?”

Taehyung nods happily and enthusiastically. “YES! YES!!”

Jungkook smiles widely and turns placing Peter back in his bassinet then instantly doing the same with Benjamin.  He rushes back to Taehyung’s side wrapping him in his arms.  He inhales.  He can’t wait to spend the rest of his life drowning in this smell.  He pulls back and cups Taehyung’s face kissing him deeply.  “Beautiful,” he says pecking him on the lips before taking his hand and slipping the ring on his finger.

“I love it! It’s beautiful Jungkookie! But…” Taehyung reaches into Jungkook’s pocket and pulls out the paper ring and places it on the finger next to his new engagement ring, “this one might be my favorite.”

Jungkook snorts, “Really? Great! I guess I can return the other one since it was so expensive—“

“Don’t you dare!” pouts Taehyung.

Jungkook laughs as he pulls Taehyung down hugging him tightly. 

“I never understood my dad’s acceptance.  Or Gary’s decision.” Taehyung looks up at Jungkook, “Until you.  I know what it feels like to have a love like they had.  I don’t think it’s a curse Jungkook.  How could it possibly be if look what we made,” he says motioning to the sleeping twins inches away. “I’m not afraid to live my life anymore.  I’m not afraid to meet it where it wants.  Whatever comes, I’m ready.  Because you’re right.  We’re not alone.  And as long as we’re together it’s going to all be ok.  Maybe not all those Stephen King books I read have happy endings, but our story will.  But for now, it’s still unwritten and I can’t wait to see where it leads us.”

Jungkook smiles placing a finger under Taehyung’s chin lifting him up to meet his lips.  “I love you, Princess.”

“I love you too Jungkookie.”

Chapter Text

1 YEAR LATER

Jungkook nods approvingly as he watches Scotty expertly weave back and forth, as he spars in the main ring in the gym.  He looks up at the clock and looks at the heavy double doors of the entrance.  He shakes his head and glances at his phone.  They’re going to be late if his fiancé doesn’t arrive here soon. Fiancé. He smiles at the word.  It’s been a little over a year since he proposed to Taehyung and thinking about him as his fiancé still makes him giddy.  He startles out of his thoughts when he sees the double doors open and loud giggles and screams come through the entrance.  He laughs loudly as he watches the tiny little storms run through the gym quickly being chased by his beautiful mate.

“Boys! Slow down!” Taehyung screams balancing a large bag on his shoulder and coffees in his hand.  Jungkook shakes his head and chuckles as he makes his way to help the omega when he suddenly feels little arms wrap around his legs.

“Little munchkins!” he says bending down to pick up the twins. They laugh uncontrollably as Jungkook bounces them in his arms.  “Papa!” they both yelp happily snuggling into Jungkook.  Jungkook looks over and sees an exasperated Taehyung set the coffees down as he catches his breath. “Rough morning, Baby?”

Taehyung sends a glare his way and rolls his eyes. “Rough isn’t even the word.  But maybe if someone hadn’t given them chocolate milk this morning and then just split, they wouldn’t have been all hyped up on sugar.”

“Sorry Tae.  I didn’t even think,” Jungkook says feeling guilty.  Usually, he stays and helps Taehyung with the twins, but he’s been having to leave early every morning since Scotty has a championship title fight to defend soon.  Jungkook looks at the boys. “I’ll stay and help tomorrow morning.  And be more mindful about the sugar thing.”

Taehyung waves him off and sets his bag down. “It’s fine.  It’s been fine.  It’s just this morning the rush to get here on time for our appointment had me stressed out.”

Jungkook looks at his sons and gives them a stern look. “Remember what I told you boys?  I needed you to be helpful with Daddy and listen to him in the mornings.” The boys both set their heads down on Jungkook’s shoulders in unison as they let out that signature Taehyung pout that they both inherited from the omega.

The twins are a little over a year old now.  It’s strange to see how fast they’re growing every day and not have them be these tiny little bundles anymore.  Now they are rambunctious, funny, amazingly sweet 1-year olds.  Both of them perfect little clones and representations of their parents.  Peter being a little carbon copy of Taehyung.

Benjamin resembling a tinier version of Jungkook.

Taehyung smiles rolling his eyes again.  “I told you Jungkookie, it’s fine. No worries,” he says as he leans in to kiss the alpha making the twin boys let out small giggles. “Besides, I don’t even know why we’re keeping this appointment.  I hate everything!” Taehyung says dramatically.

Now it’s Jungkook’s turn to let out an eye roll. “We are going to this appointment because I want to actually marry you Taehyung.  It’s been over a year now since we got engaged Princess.  How long are we going to wait to have the actual ceremony?  The real ceremony, not some fake one in a hospital bed.”

Taehyung frowns. “Hey, I loved that fake ceremony! And of course I want to finally get married, but I also don’t want to settle on anything.  And I have absolutely HATED every single venue we’ve seen.”

Jungkook bends down and gently sets the twins back on the floor, kissing them both on the head as he does. “I get it.  You want things to be perfect, but I think you’re being overly picky.  Look, if you just told me what it is you’re specifically looking for maybe we can focus on that.  What your vision is for our day,” Jungkook says pulling Taehyung in by the waist and kissing him on the cheek.

“I don’t have one,” Taehyung huffs, frustrated. “That’s the problem. I just want the day to be perfect.  We’ve been through so much.  Is it too much to ask that our day be absolutely perfect in the most perfect place?”

Jungkook chuckles and kisses Taehyung on the lips. “It’s not too much to ask.  I totally get it Baby, but it’s going to be really difficult to find a place if you have all these expectations without a real vision of what those expectations are.”

Taehyung wraps his arms around the alpha’s neck and breathes in relaxing as vanilla hits his senses.  “I know, I know.  I’ll be open minded about today’s venue.  I promise.  Namjoon! Stop trying to make my babies into boxers!” Taehyung yells startling Namjoon who is standing at a punching bag having the boys throw tiny punches.

“What’s wrong with them becoming boxers like their dad?” groans Jungkook.

“Their dad isn’t a boxer anymore and he quit because he wanted to spread love and not fight anymore. Remember? I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing them in a ring,” pouts Taehyung.

Jungkook looks at Namjoon and nods. He doesn’t think he would be able to stand on the sidelines and watch his sons fight in a ring either.  Call him a hypocrite, but Taehyung is right. “Joon! Tae is right. Cut it out!”

Jimin runs over and quickly takes the boys out of Namjoon’s arms. “Come on sweeties, let Uncle Joon go back to work.  You’re hanging out with me today,” he says happily as he tickles the twins who laugh uncontrollably. “Don’t worry Tae, I got this.  I’m taking them out to the park in a bit.”

Jungkook looks up at the large clock on the wall and sighs. “Good, because Baby, we have to go.  We don’t want to be late.  And remember what you said.  You promised you would go into this one open minded.”

Taehyung takes a deep breath and nods.  “Ok Jungkookie.  I promise I’ll go in as open-minded as possible.  I’ll really go in trying to like this one.”

💍💍💍💍💍💍

“I hate this one,” Taehyung leans in whispering to Jungkook. Jungkook can’t help sighing loudly as he turns to look at his fiancé.  Taehyung looks back and shrugs.  “I’m sorry, but this one is the worst one yet.  It’s awful,” he says scrunching his nose at Jungkook.  Jungkook can smell burnt apple pie making him run a frustrated hand through his hair.

“Baby…what exactly do you not like about this one?” Jungkook asks looking around. They’re standing in the Omni Parker Hotel.  Jungkook doesn’t much care where the ceremony happens as long as it happens.  He just wants to be married to Taehyung already. 

“I think this is fine for the reception, but…for the actual ceremony,” Taehyung says pursing his lips, “it’s so fucking boring.” Taehyung turns to look at the wedding planner and smiles apologetically. “Sorry, Scarlett.”

Scarlett, the wedding planner, sends him an understanding smile. “It’s ok Taehyung.  I fully understand what it’s like to not be able to find something you like.  The place has to click.  It has to give you a certain feeling and you just haven’t found that yet.”

“Well, what if he never feels it,” Jungkook responds annoyed.  Taehyung glares at him and raises an eyebrow. “I’m sorry Baby, but I really just want to be married to you.  I get wanting that “feeling” about a place, but what if you never feel it? Tae, I’m tired of looking at venues.”

Taehyung sighs.  He knows he’s being unreasonable.  Annoying even, but he just wants this to be perfect. “Scarlett…can you give us a minute?” Taehyung asks.  Scarlett nods, offering a small smile and heads outside of the ballroom. 

“I know you can’t understand why I need this to be perfect.  I—I just want that day to be a perfect memory.  I don’t want to have any regrets about that day or settle.  When I think back about it, I want our memories to be filled with that perfect place.  I—I just want all our moments to feel perfect in case—“ Taehyung nervously pulls at the hem of his shirt as he bites his lip.

“In case what?” Jungkook asks moving closer to the omega.

“You know,” Taehyung replies not wanting to look up at Jungkook.

“No, I don’t. In case what?” Jungkook says as he puts his finger under Taehyung’s chin lifting up to meet Taehyung’s gaze.

“In case we don’t get to keep having those perfect moments…” Taehyung replies trailing off closing his eyes. “I just need to make all our moments perfect ones.  For us and for our kids.  Moments are fleeting with us.  I want to make them count.”

Jungkook sighs.  He can see Taehyung’s eyes start to water.  Now he understands.  Now he gets the omega’s need for things to be so perfect and it breaks his heart. “Baby…” he says as he pulls Taehyung into a hug, “still? You’re still having these feelings? You’re still thinking like this? Even after all this time? With all the positive, beautiful things that have come into our life, you’re still waiting for the shoe to drop? Still not just living in the moment?”

Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut as he tightly wraps his arms around Jungkook.  “I try. Jungkook, I really do try.  I can’t help it.”

“I know that Tae, but we’ve talked about how unhealthy that is for you.  For your mental health.  And why are you keeping all of this in again and not telling me or Yoongi about this?”

“Cause that’s what I do,” mumbles Taehyung into Jungkook’s shoulder. 

“No, that’s what you used to do. Taehyung, that shit needs to stop.  And I completely understand why you do it, but I’m going to tell you again.  It’s not healthy.  And Baby, moments don’t need to be perfect to be memorable.  Sometimes the imperfect ones are the ones that are most special.  Perfection is overrated Tae.  Stop trying to make things perfect and just try to live them.  I promise you Baby it’ll make it more enjoyable.”

Taehyung sniffles and nods into Jungkook’s shoulder. He pulls back and looks around again.  “We can pick this one. It’s really not that bad. I’m just being stupid.  We can do it here,” Taehyung says as he puts on his best smile, but Jungkook can see that it isn’t authentic.  It doesn't reach his eyes.

“Nope. This didn’t give you that “feeling.”  Why don’t we take a break, regroup, and refocus again tomorrow? Let’s go pick up the kids and do something fun.  Get your mind off this for a bit.”

“I’m sorry Jungkook.  I really am.  I know how annoying I must be with all of this.”

Jungkook snorts.  “You put up with asshole Jungkook for so long Tae.  Waiting for you to find a venue you like for our wedding is nothing.  Believe me Baby you aren’t being annoying.  We’ll find a place.  A place we both will be happy with.  Let’s just step back from this for today and spend it with the kids. It’ll all fall into place.”

Taehyung cups Jungkook’s face and kisses him. “Thank you.  I love you so much.” Jungkook smiles and reaches up pushing the hair out of Taehyung’s eyes.

“I love you too.  Now come on.  Let’s go get our little munchkins and go have some fun.” Jungkook takes Taehyung’s hand and starts leading him to the exit. “And I know exactly where we need to go.”

💍💍💍💍💍💍

Taehyung stands in line eyes scanning all of the animals, eyebrows scrunched together in deep thought.  Jungkook watches him and can’t help laughing.  He knows he’s planning where to run to. He shakes his head, amused, as he pats Peter on his back. 

“Pete, want Papa to hold you so that Daddy doesn’t have to hold you both.  He’s plotting and might need a free hand,” Jungkook says laughing. Taehyung’s mini me grips his shirt and shakes his head “no” as he places his head down against Taehyung. “What about you Ben,” Jungkook asks, but his own little clone gives him that deadly pout and shakes his head making it very clear he’s staying put as well.  Jungkook rolls his eyes and smiles. “Ok. I won’t even take it personally that you seem to be their favorite lately.”

“Jungkook! Game face on, Love! I want the bunnies.  Those are our babies’ favorites,” he says hugging them tightly kissing them on their heads.  “It reminds them of their Papa,” he says to Jungkook giggling and sending him a wink.

“Ha ha. You’re hilarious Taehyung. Fine,” huffs Jungkook. “The rabbits it is then. Move out of the way.  You have your hands full. I’ll make sure to get them.”

Taehyung steps aside and smiles. “Watch Papa, babies.  He’s going to get those bunnies secured for us.” Jungkook rolls his eyes and as soon as the attendant starts to let people through, he dashes quickly to the rabbits in the front reaching them with ease. 

He looks up at Taehyung and stands proudly holding his hand out to his family.  The twins laugh and clap excitedly as Taehyung happily makes his way towards the alpha.  He hands Peter to Jungkook who places the baby on board as he holds him tightly standing next to him.  Taehyung does the same with Benjamin.  Both boys screaming in delight when the ride’s music starts to play and they start to slowly turn.

“I love this! I love this so much!” screams Taehyung over the music making Jungkook smile brightly. “I’m so glad you brought us here today Jungkookie.  This place always makes me feel so happy! I wish we could just get married here!” Taehyung says laughing as the boys giggle and cheer.

Jungkook laughs then freezes as he stares at Taehyung and how happy his mate is in this moment. He can see it written on his face.  He can smell it in his scent.  This place. It 100% gives Taehyung THAT “feeling.”

Taehyung catches his gaze and tilts his head curiously. “What?”

“Why don’t we?”

“Why don’t we what?”

“Get married here.  Why don’t we just get married here?” Jungkook asks almost giddy with excitement.

Taehyung snorts. “Yeah ok. Jungkook, do you even hear yourself? This is a public place in the middle of Boston.  As much as I would want that, it would be impossible.  Jungkookie, don’t pay attention to my ridiculousness.  We’ll choose one of the many venues we’ve already looked at.  I am being completely unreasonable and frankly you’re right.  I just want to be married to you too.  I’ll relook at all the venues and pick one by tomorrow.  Don’t worry.”

Jungkook frowns but stays quiet.  He watches how happy Taehyung is. How incredibly happy his children are as well.  How perfect this is right now.  He wonders how he can make this happen for them.  Nothing is impossible.  They created a super bond! They beat an incurable disease! If there’s one thing Jungkook knows is that nothing is ever impossible.  He just needs help.  And he knows exactly who to ask.

“Munchkins, want to go and see Granny and Grandpa after this?”

💍💍💍💍💍💍

Jungkook’s tickling sends Taehyung into a fit of giggles making him kick the alpha slightly. “Ow!”

“Jungkookie, shhh! You’ll wake up the twins,” Taehyung says through giggles. Jungkook smirks and pulls him closer placing a kiss on his shoulder.  He moves Taehyung’s sweaty bangs from his forehead and wraps his arms around the omega’s naked body.  He looks down at his mate and shakes his head. 

“What?” Taehyung asks looking up.

“You are so pretty.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and giggles again. “You’ve turned cheesier than my dad was with my mom.  I never thought anyone would be cheesier than him,” he says snuggling into the alpha. Jungkook smiles. “Remember when you used to be so mean to me?”

Jungkook groans. “I try not to.  But thanks for reminding me again. Brat,” he says tickling Taehyung again making him laugh.

“Jungkookie…do you ever think about what would’ve happened if you had never stopped that night? If you had maybe never made that wish that night? If…I would still…be…here? Alive?”

Jungkook tenses and looks down at Taehyung who is looking at him with big wide eyes.  “You were my 99% match.  If you weren’t in my life I wouldn’t have—” Taehyung hesitates, “I probably wouldn’t have—”

Jungkook doesn’t allow him to finish the sentence as he quickly places his lips on Taehyung kissing him intensely.  He pulls back and stares deep into Taehyung’s eyes.  “No.  I don’t think about that.  Besides I’ve told you before Princess.  The lungs on you back then.  I had to stop.  I’m sure they could hear you all the way in Worcester.” Taehyung playfully shoves Jungkook back and smiles. He glances at the clock on the nightstand and sighs. 

“We should get to sleep or we’re going to be exhausted for work tomorrow.  And everyone always knows why we are exhausted,” Taehyung says as he fluffs up his pillow. “It’s embarrassing.”

Jungkook sends him a smirk. “At least they know we’re exhausted yet happy…very very happy,” he replies pulling Taehyung closer again. “Besides we aren’t going to work tomorrow.”

Taehyung turns slightly to look at the alpha, confused. “We aren’t? Why not?”

“Because Jin and Joon are taking the twins for the day and I’m taking you on a day date.”

Taehyung smiles, wide and bright. “Really?! Where? Where are we going?”

Jungkook smiles mischievously.

“What?” asks Taehyung.

“What?” replies Jungkook.

“Why are you smiling like that?”

“What?”

“Stop saying what! You’re hiding something. What are we doing tomorrow?"

Jungkook gives him that same smile which quickly turns into a smirk. “You’ll see tomorrow.  In the meantime, since we don’t need to go to work…and we don’t have to worry about being embarrassed over why we’re exhausted…”

Taehyung smiles and pulls Jungkook in. “Get over here alpha…”

💍💍💍💍💍💍

Taehyung looks down at their interlocked hands and smiles lovingly at Jungkook.  They dropped off the twins with Jin and Namjoon and headed straight here.  Here being The Rose Kennedy Greenway.  Taehyung looks up and closes his eyes soaking in the sun.  “Are we riding the carousel today? Without the kids? That sort of doesn’t feel right,” Taehyung says as he looks around the busy area.

“No, we are not here to ride the carousel today,” Jungkook says as he suddenly puts his hands on Taehyung’s shoulders and turns him around.  “Baby, do me a favor.  Stand right here and close your eyes.” Taehyung doesn’t question him and quickly does as he’s told.  Taehyung shuts his eyes and waits.  He can hear Jungkook walk a bit away and starts talking to someone.

“Thanks Yoongi! I owe you,” Jungkook says. Taehyung gasps and goes to turn around. “DO NOT TURN AROUND TAEHYUNG!” Jungkook says sternly.

Taehyung freezes and stays still, eyes still closed. “Yoongs? Are you here?” He hears feet shuffling, getting closer to him.

“Hey Tae.  I’m here, but now I’m leaving.  I just needed to help Jungkook with something.  Hope you like it.  Actually, you better fucking like it.  We worked hard on this and then I had to sit here and watch it to make sure no one touched it. I’m headed to Jin’s.  If they think they’re spending the day with the twins and I’m not, they’re out of their minds.  See you both later,” Yoongi says as he walks away. “Love you!”

Taehyung huffs.  “You’re conspiring with my best friend, and I had no idea. Can I turn around now please?” Taehyung asks impatiently.

Jungkook chuckles. “Yes. Yes, you can turn around now.”

Taehyung turns around and lets out a gasp. “Jungkook! This is—wow! You and Yoongi did all of this?”

“We did.  Do you like it?”

Taehyung steps closer and bends down on the blanket taking everything in. “I LOVE it! Thank you Jungkookie!” Taehyung’s eyes fall on the sign and he chuckles. “Wait…what are you proposing again? Is this your way of telling me to pick a damn venue already?”

“Do you like it here Princess? What do you think of the area?” Jungkook asks sitting down next to Taehyung on a pillow.

“I love it.  You know I do.  Look at how pretty the carousel looks in the background. Being here always makes me so happy.”

Jungkook smiles and leans in kissing Taehyung on the cheek. “Good…because we’re getting married here.”

Jungkook thinks Taehyung might have whiplash with how fast he turns to look at him, jaw dropped.  “What?! What do you mean we’re getting married here?!”

“I mean just that.  This is our wedding venue.  We’re getting married here.  And we’re having the reception here as well.”

“You are fucking kidding me?! How?!”

Jungkook lets out a laugh and hands Taehyung a glass of wine.  “Did you know that the Greenway hosts like 400 events annually.  They don’t usually accept proposals for fundraisers or private events, but…Dad called in a favor.  He’s taking care of all the permits through the city of Boston too.  I called Scarlett. Once we have the permits and the official ok from the city, she’ll take over with all of the other things we had already chosen.  It’s going to take some time. Maybe a month or two, but we’ve waited over a year now.  What’s two months Baby.”

Taehyung looks at Jungkook in utter disbelief.  “I—I don’t even know what to say.  How are we going to even afford this?”

“Dad is taking care of that too.”

Taehyung shakes his head, “No way—“

“Tae, stop. It’s ok.  Don’t overthink this.  They have money to spare.  And you know what, they’re my parents.  And they want to do this for us.  And I thought about it and like you, I want that perfect day too, in a perfect place that will mean something to us and means something to us now. This place Princess…it means so much to you, but to me as well.  That first day you brought me here, that day was the day that cemented everything for me.  You told me that I had a soft spot for you.  And you have no idea how right you were.  That day you stood up for me at the gym and brought me here and slowly started to not only break down my walls, but your own as well.  We’re going to get married here because it’s a place that gives us both that “feeling.” And every time thereafter when we bring our kids here to ride our carousel, we’ll also know this as the place where we said our vows in front of everyone we love.”

“Fuck,” cries Taehyung, “how am I supposed to say no now.  I love you and marrying you here would be a dream. Thank you for always going above and beyond for me.”

“You do for me Tae.  For me and for our kids.  For Yoongi. For Jin.  For so many people.  Like you said before, we’ve been through a lot.  We deserve this Baby.  Let’s get married here,” Jungkook says pulling Taehyung into a hug.

“Ok, Jungkookie. Let’s get married here,” he replies enthusiastically. 

💍💍💍💍💍💍

Jungkook paces back and forth as he adjusts his tie.  He looks out at the area where the guests are starting to arrive and exhales a deep breath.  He then takes a glance at his watch and jumps up and down.  He feels like he used to feel when he stood in the tunnels in those arenas waiting to step out on fight nights.  Body surging with adrenaline.  Back then he was always entering into a fight.  Now he’s preparing to enter the next chapter of his life with his mate.  Jungkook involuntarily smiles.

“Geez, are you ever going to NOT be whipped for him?” Namjoon teases walking behind Jungkook and patting him on the back.

Jungkook let’s out a chuckle. “Never.  I would never NOT want to be whipped for him. How is everything going?”

Namjoon fixes his cufflinks and nods. “Great! At least, I think.  Jin went to go check in with your wedding planner and make sure everything is going smoothly and on time.  But I have to say Kook, holy shit you guys out did yourselves.  Everything looks beautiful.  Guests who arrive keep being in awe on how you were able to pull this all off.”

“It does look perfect, doesn’t it? It’s what he wanted Joon and I will honestly give him anything he wants if it means he’s always happy,” Jungkook says smiling thinking about Taehyung.

“Pfft, remember how shitty you were to him,” Namjoon says adjusting his suit.

“Fuck off Joon.  It’s my wedding day. Cut the shit,” Jungkook says. “How are my little demons? Are they behaving?”

“They’re fine.  They’re playing with Jimin and Hobi.  They look so damn adorable in their tiny little suits.”

Jungkook proudly smiles and nods.  “And my Tae?”

“I haven’t seen him Kook, but I’m sure he’s fine.  Just relax, breathe, and enjoy the day.  It’s going to be a hell of a party!”

💍💍💍💍💍💍

Jin walks back towards the area set up for his nephew to get ready and stands outside of the small tent area. “Taehyungie? It’s me. Can I come in?”

“Yeah Jin, come on in.”

Jin slips into the tent and gasps as he sees his nephew for the first time. “Oh my god, Tae! I’m going to start fucking crying already!”

“Geez Jin, at least save it for the ceremony,” says Yoongi rolling his eyes.

“Shut up Yoongi, I can see your eyes tearing up as well.”

Taehyung smiles and turns to look at himself in the mirror. “My babies.  How are my babies?”

“Good. But Jimin is so easily manipulated by their cuteness Tae. They keep pointing at the ice cream place near the carousel and I swear Jimin is going to break and get them some.”

Taehyung frowns. “He better not! They’ll ruin their suits and be all hyped up on sugar.”

“He won’t have time because I just spoke with Scarlett, and we are perfectly on time to start the ceremony.”

“And Jungkookie?” asks Taehyung smiling widely, taking a sip of the glass of red wine Scarlett had brought him and Yoongi earlier to try to relax his nerves.

“Joon went to go check on him.  You’ll get to see him soon enough.  Tae,” Jin says, as he hands Taehyung a small box.

“What is this?” Taehyung stares down at the box looking at it confused. 

Jin takes a deep breath as his eyes start to water. “R-Ryeo…she left that for you before she passed away.  She had me help her with it.  I—I’ve been saving it all of these years.”

Yoongi walks up and stands next to Taehyung to get a better look.  He turns to look at his best friend who looks shocked. “M-My mom? She left this for me?”

“She did.  She made me promise that I would keep it, take good care of it, and give it to you on your wedding day.  I’m fulfilling that promise for my sister Taehyungie.”

Taehyung stands frozen, staring down at the box.  “I—don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Jin stands in front of Taehyung and cups his cheek. “I’m so proud of you.  They would be so proud of you Taehyung,” he says tearfully leaning in to hug Taehyung. Jin sniffles as he pulls back. “Come on Yoongs, let’s give Tae some space, some privacy to be with his mom.” Yoongi nods, sniffling and wiping his eyes.

Taehyung sits on a chair and stares down at the box.  He stares for what feels like hours until he finally gets the courage to open it.  He shudders when he sees a small note in his mother’s handwriting. He removes it gently and finds a small locket containing a tiny picture of his parents and himself. He picks it up and looks at it, vision starting to blur with tears.  He turns it in his fingers and finds “With You on Your Special Day” handwritten on the back by his mother as well.

He exhales then takes another quick breath in as he readies himself to read her note.

My Sweet Taehyungie,

My beautiful baby boy, if you’re reading this right now it’s because you are about to enter that next chapter in your life and get married.  Oh my baby, how I wish I could be there by your side to see you.  To help you get ready.  To offer you advice.  I do hope you aren’t too angry at me for leaving you the way I have.  I hope you’ve reached a place in your life where you’ve healed from what this awful disease has done to our little family and have healed enough to forgive me for leaving you alone.

What is he like Taehyungie? Your future husband. Is he kind to you? Is he your soul mate? Does he look at you like Daddy looks at me.  Like we hang the stars in the sky? He should.  You, my beautiful child, deserve nothing less.  I hope you love each other with so much intensity that it hurts.  That’s the only way to love you know.  Love should feel calm, serene, yet intense and raw.  I hope you found someone who evokes all those emotions out of you. 

Love each other, care for each other, support each other.  Never doubt each other.  Always believe in one another through sickness or in health Baby.  And even though I won’t be there just know that I will always be looking down on you and on all those grand babies I hope you’ll give me someday.  Read to them.  Teach them how valuable books are.  How they heal and spread happiness and love.

And remember what I told you Taehyungie…Love.  Love as hard as you can.  And when you think you’ve loved enough, love even harder. Until you can’t see straight.  Because when you love that hard, when you put out that kind of love to the world you are bound to get it back. And you, my precious baby boy, deserve all the love this world has to offer you.

I love you, beautiful boy.

Love Mom

Taehyung swallows down his tears and exhales.  He walks to the tent entrance and looks out.  He spots Scarlett, headset on, looking at her clipboard. “Scarlett, think you could find my babies and have someone bring them to me please?” Taehyung says sniffling.  He’s absolutely sure he’s going to have to redo his makeup again. 

“Sure Tae.  I’ll have them brought in ASAP,” she says as she quickly talks into her headset and walks away.  Taehyung turns and takes a small sip of his red wine. He steadies his breathing, and he patiently waits. 

“Tae?” Jimin says standing outside of the entrance.  “Daddy! Daddy!” both twins yell happily in Jimin’s arms. Taehyung smiles, his heart feeling warm the second he hears his children outside of the tent.  He runs to the entrance and swoops them out of Jimin’s arms hugging them both tightly.  Jimin frowns and quickly follows Taehyung back into the tent.

“Tae…are you ok?”

Taehyung litters kisses all over the twins faces as they giggle happily.  Taehyung sets them down on the floor and turns to Jimin. “Yeah, I’m fine.  I—I just really needed to see them right now that’s all.” It must’ve been a split second that Taehyung turned because when he turns back, he sees Peter reach for the wine glass. Taehyung panics quickly running to his baby bending down just as tiny fingers knock the glass right into Taehyung’s chest. 

“Holy shit! Tae! Your suit!” Jimin screams.

Taehyung looks down in shock, mouth wide open.  He looks up at Peter who looks frozen in fear.  Taehyung takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.  He opens them and holds his hand out to his baby. Peter waddles over to Taehyung, pouting.  “I—It’s ok Baby.  It’s ok.  It wasn’t your fault.” Taehyung leans in and places a kiss on Peter’s cheek, still in complete shock. “Jimin, can you take them out…I—I need to see how I can fix this.”

“Ok Tae…you want me to get someone? Scarlett maybe? She’s a wiz.  Betcha she knows how to get that out,” Jimin says not believing his own words.  There is no way Taehyung is getting that red wine stain out of his suit.  Especially not in a matter of minutes.

“Um…yeah…sure.” Taehyung pulls Peter and Benjamin close giving them kisses. “I love you my Babies.  Be good with Uncle Jimin, ok?” Jimin quickly scoops up the twins and makes his way out of the tent.  Taehyung feels his breathing quicken as he moves toward the mirror.  His eyes tear up again only now, this time, for a very different reason.  He instinctively reaches for his phone and dials.

“Hey…is this allowed?” Jungkook says chuckling.

“I’m allowing it. Please come here,” Taehyung says trying to keep his composure. 

“Baby? Are you ok?”

“Just please come here,” Taehyung says and hangs up the call.

Jungkook frowns and quickly makes his way out and across the area to Taehyung’s tent.  “Tae?”

“Come in!”

Jungkook cautiously makes his way in and his breathe hitches when his eyes fall on his mate, his omega. “Wow! You look…absolutely breathtaking. Gorgeous Baby!”

Taehyung scoffs. “Gorgeous?! Look at me! Look at my suit! It’s ruined.”

Jungkook moves closer and finally notices the red stain on the front of Taehyung’s suit. “What happened?”

“Pete. Red Wine,” Taehyung replies sadly.

Jungkook snorts. “At least it wasn’t MY mini-me,” he teases. Taehyung sends him a cross between a glare and the saddest look Jungkook has ever seen. “I’m sorry Baby.  I’m not trying to be insensitive.  I’m just trying to lighten the mood.  Make you smile a bit.”

“Smile? How can I smile?  It’s ruined.  I wanted this day to be perfect and it’s ruined,” Taehyung laments looking down at his suit.

“Because of a suit?”

“Yes! I told you, I wanted this day to be perfect.  Look at you!”

“You look beautiful! Perfect! And I—” Jungkook doesn’t let Taehyung finish.  Instead, he reaches over and takes the other red wine glass that sits on the table and without hesitation pours it all over the front of his suit. Taehyung gasps. Hand coming up to cover his mouth.

“There. Now we’re matching,” Jungkook says smiling. Taehyung exhales and lets out a laugh.  “There it is.  That smile that I will forever chase after. Come here,” Jungkook pulls Taehyung close and kisses him. “I told you before, moments don’t need to be perfect to be memorable.  I’m going to tell you again because I think right now is when you need to hear it the most: the imperfect ones are the ones that are most special.  We are going to look back on this years from now. Fifty years from now and laugh our asses off at this.  Believe me.”

Taehyung shakes his head and sighs. “I love you.”

“I love you too you brat.  Now can we please go and get married?”

Taehyung laughs and nods. “Yes.  Let’s finally go and get married.”

💍💍💍💍💍💍

Jungkook walks out and stands at the end of the aisle along with Namjoon and the officiant.  Jungkook can hear whispers and murmurs, but he ignores them all and stands tall and proud at the end of the aisle waiting for his fiancé.

“Kook…What the fuck happened to your suit?” asks Namjoon concerned.

“Twins,” replies Jungkook chuckling as he hears the music cue up and he turns his attention to the aisle.

The guests follow his gaze as Taehyung walks up to Jin who is waiting to walk him down.  Jin gasps and looks down at Taehyung’s suit. “What the fuck happened to your suit?!”

“Twins,” replies Taehyung laughing as he turns and spots his alpha, his mate at the end of the aisle.  He smiles widely at him and gets a wink back from Jungkook. Taehyung turns and spots the carousel, their carousel, beautifully lit up in the background. 

This is exactly how he envisioned his wedding to be. Taehyung links his arm with Jin’s as they start to walk down the aisle towards Jungkook. 

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” Taehyung hears, making him laugh out loud as he walks down the aisle making Jungkook laugh as well shaking his head. Taehyung reaches Jungkook and smiles.  Jin hugs Jungkook tightly then takes Taehyung’s hand and places it in Jungkook’s.

“Welcome family and friends. We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the marriage of Jungkook and Taehyung. This is not the beginning of a new relationship but an acknowledgment of the next chapter in their lives together. Jungkook and Taehyung have spent years getting to know each other, and we now bear witness to what their relationship has become. Today, they will affirm this bond formally and publicly.

“Jungkook and Taehyung will mark their transition as a couple not only by celebrating the love between themselves, but by also celebrating the love between all of us—including the love of their parents, siblings, extended family, and best friends. Without that love, today would be far less joyous.”

Jungkook squeezes Taehyung’s hand and smiles receiving a warm loving smile back.

“Both Jungkook and Taehyung have chosen to write personal vows to each other.  We will take this time now for them to share their words of love with each other.  Taehyung?”

Taehyung nods and takes a deep breath. “Jungkookie…I’ve spent my life keeping people and most importantly love, at arm’s length.  My childhood, my disease, making it impossible for me to believe in it.  To believe that it could be anything but a curse. Until I met you. You became part of my existence. You became love personified.  You taught me to be vulnerable with love, with my illness, but you also taught me to believe and find meaning in hope.  Hope for the future. Hope in our children’s future.” Taehyung looks out into the faces of their guests, “One of our favorite things to do is read together—”

“I see you Jimin,” snorts Jungkook. “Yeah, I read now,” he says making Jimin rolls his eyes and laugh as well as everyone else. Taehyung giggles and nods. “He does. We sit together and we read. To ourselves, to our kids, to each other. We decided we would each choose a book quote to incorporate in our vows.”

Taehyung turns and focuses back on Jungkook looking him deep in his eyes, “You don’t love because, you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults.”

Jungkook reaches up and wipes his eyes. “I love you,” he mouths to Taehyung who nods and smiles back.

“Jungkook, you’re turn.”

Jungkook holds Taehyung’s hand and steadies his breathing as he begins. “You asked me recently if I ever think about what would’ve happened if I hadn’t stopped that night.  I told you that I didn’t. In fact, what I do is spend a lot of my time thinking about how lucky I was that I did stop.  I spend my days thinking about how thankful I am for that moment. I’m thankful every time I look in the face of our children.  I’m thankful every day that I get to wake up next to you.  And I’m so very thankful for it right now because look where it brought me.  I will never think about if I hadn’t.  I will always think thank God I did.  Regardless of whatever happens in the future, that moment brought me an immense love to my life, and I will forever be grateful for that.  I love you Tae. Even after we take our last breaths together. Now, forever, and beyond.”

Taehyung chokes back a sob as he feels Jungkook squeeze his hand again. Jungkook’s eyes sparkle with so much love as he continues, “He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” Taehyung nods and tearfully smiles.

The officiant sniffles and exhales. “Well, now that you’ve guaranteed there isn’t one dry eye in the place…let’s proceed.” Sniffles and chuckles are heard through the crowd as Jungkook and Taehyung nod.

“Do you Jungkook take Taehyung to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and not so good times, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto him for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” replies Jungkook.

“Do you Taehyung take Jungkook to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and not so good times, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto him for as long as you both shall live?”

“I absolutely 100% do,” Taehyung replies making Jungkook giggle.

The officiant smiles and continues. “A ring is an unbroken circle, with ends that have been joined together, and it represents your union. It is a symbol of infinity, and of your infinite love. When you look at these rings on your hands, be reminded of this moment, your commitment, and the love you now feel for each other.”

Namjoon and Jungkook’s father nudges Peter and Benjamin pushing them towards Jungkook. “Go to Papa boys.  Go take Papa the rings,” he whispers.  Peter and Benjamin both turn to look at Jungkook who bends down on one knee and motions for them to come forward.  Peter and Ben smile and sprint towards Jungkook, each both carrying a small pillow. 

Giggles and “Awws” are heard through the guests as both Taehyung and Jungkook smile sweetly at their twins. 

“Thank you, munchkins,” Jungkook says detaching the rings as his father comes quickly in to pull the twins back.

“Jungkook, place the ring on Taehyung’s finger and repeat after me: Taehyung, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge: to love you today, tomorrow, always, and forever.”

Jungkook takes Taehyung’s hand and places the ring on his finger as he repeats, “Taehyung, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge: to love you today, tomorrow, always, and forever.”

Taehyung giggles and gets ready to go next.

“And now, Taehyung, place the ring on Jungkook’s finger and repeat after me: Jungkook, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge: to love you today, tomorrow, always, and forever.”

Taehyung slips the ring on Jungkook’s finger and repeats, “Jungkook, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge: to love you today, tomorrow, always, and forever.”

“Before these witnesses, you have pledged to be joined in marriage. You have now sealed this pledge with your wedding rings.”

Jungkook holds Taehyung’s hand tightly and turns to see his mate smiling a blindingly bright smile.

“By the authority vested in me by the great State of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you married!”

Jungkook turns to look at Taehyung. Both so happy, unable to contain their excitement, bodies jumping in anticipation.

“Go ahead! Kiss already!” Yoongi yells happily.

Jungkook smiles, pulling Taehyung in by his waist, and kisses his newly minted husband as deeply and as lovingly as he can.

💍💍💍💍💍💍

It’s late evening on a cool summer day. Crisp cool breeze hitting the air signifying the nearing of fall.  Jungkook, Taehyung and the twins just left Sunday dinner and decided to stop by Glen Park to tire the kids out before bedtime. Jungkook laughs as he goes down the slide holding Benjamin tightly.  He hears loud giggles coming from his son and it melts his heart.  “You love the slide huh, Ben,” he says as his son giggles uncontrollably.  “Want to go again?”

Benjamin looks to the other side of the park and shakes his head, “No! Daddy!”

Jungkook turns to look at the omega who is on the swing holding Peter tightly while also holding his mother’s book. “Want to go on the swings with Daddy and Pete? I think Daddy is reading to him right now.” Benjamin nods his head and claps, “Daddy!”

“Ok, buddy. Let’s go!” Jungkook says lifting Benjamin up high, placing him on his shoulders as Benjamin laughs and claps.

Taehyung looks up and smiles as he watches the alpha approach.  “Got tired of the slide already?” he asks as Peter lays his head against his chest and snuggles into Taehyung.

“Ben wants to hear you read,” Jungkook replies as he takes a seat on the very familiar swing next to Taehyung. He settles Benjamin on his lap as the other twin mimics Peter and snuggles against Jungkook. Jungkook turns to look at Taehyung and stares down at the hoodie he is wearing…their hoodie. He smiles and holds out his hand to Taehyung.  Taehyung reaches out and interlocks their hands together between the swings…just as they did all those years ago on that stormy night that changed their lives forever.

“Ok. Go ahead Princess.  We’re ready,” Jungkook says, giving him a loving smile.

Taehyung nods, returning the smile then focuses back on the book in his hand and starts to read.

📖 Did they all live happily ever after? They did not. No one ever does, in spite of what the stories may say. They had their good days, as you do, and they had their bad days, and you know about those. They had their victories, as you do, and they had their defeats, and you know about those, too. There were times when they felt ashamed of themselves, knowing that they had not done their best, and there were times when they knew they had stood where their God had meant them to stand. All I'm trying to say is that they lived as well as they could, each and every one of them; some lived longer than others, but all lived well, and bravely.

THE END