Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Rui Kamishiro was an observer. As the director of the troupe called Wonderlands X Showtime, he had to observe many things. How the actors played their lines and how they acted, how the background and lighting looked and if they matched his vision, and how the overall show looked and felt from the audience’s point of view; Rui saw a lot of things. That was okay. He liked looking at things. That was where he belonged. Either looking while participating or on the sideline, the inventor was always watching different events play out. Mostly from the sidelines, though.

He liked seeing the details of his surroundings. The purple-haired teen enjoyed observing the different balloons and robots in his garage. They were well made, clearly, since he had created them himself. The overall blue and grey looking scheme the room had because there were only windows on one side of his room, the messy but comfortable chaos he had created with his million papers full of projects sitting on his desk (some even on the floor), the many colors coming from the balloons, the flags, and other random trinkets that somehow didn’t make the room seem more cheerful; those were the kinds of things the director saw every day. When he went outside, he got to lay his eyes on the beautiful Japanese maple in his yard. The yellow-eyed boy also got to see the magnificent garden he and his parents tended to. The wonderful luscious red chrysanthemums were next to the pink camellias and, today, they seemed to have a visitor; a pink boxer mantis was sitting on a camellia petal. Rui took note of it and silently observed it for a few seconds before heading off to school.

The sidewalk had a few tiny grey rocks on it while the roads had tiny dark gravel littering them. The many different houses in his neighborhood all seemed bland. The external colors sometimes changed; black, brown, white, another brown, a mix of black and white, he even saw a beige house. Most of them were built in a modern style of architecture, having a more flat type of roof, but some were triangular shaped too. They all had a similar garden, with one or two Japanese Maple trees and patches of purple azaleas or pink peonies. The yards also had mostly very green grass and the people appeared to take good care of it (humans’ obsession with grass was weird, Rui thought).

It was mostly a boring sight since everything looked almost the same, but the purple-haired teen liked to look around nonetheless. He could always find something he had never seen before if he paid attention. Like today, for example, he spotted Mrs. Imai's, the lady living three houses to the right of his home, white munchkin cat. Its name was Yuki if Rui remembered correctly. He approached it and crouched down to pet it. The cat was really pretty with its snow-white fur and green narrowed pupils. Yuki arched its back and its tail was lifted vertically straight. It looked very fluffy, but Rui didn’t dare touch it since the feline would probably not appreciate it. He stroked its head and the cat closed its eyes, started to purr, and rubbed its body on Rui’s legs. Sadly, the high school student had to get up and continue his way to school lest he be late. He had enjoyed his few minutes petting the friendly, soft cat. He bid it goodbye and resumed his walk. 

When he arrived on Main Street, he continued to take in his surroundings. The teenager passed a few greenish street signs, a café called Rainbow Cream Café with an orange sign to show its name, many round street lights, a oneway sign… The Main Street was full of shops and buildings. The street was made of orange bricks and Rui didn’t like that they were uneven. He also saw many random people; a lot of them with basic hair colors like blonde, brown, or grey. They were all walking with some destination in mind and seemed eerily soulless. They probably weren’t; it was most likely just the boring routine and Monday morning getting to them.

He eventually arrived at the gates of Kamiyama High School, a modern large building with many windows and three doors. The gates were also quite large and made of cement. The first thing that could be observed when entering the schoolyard was the very light purplish running track in front of the white stairs leading to the entrance. That had been where the many sports events had taken place during the school year. Rui didn’t really care about sports; he was somehow pretty good at running for long distances at a fast speed, but he could only do decently in most other physical activities and that was enough. What the seventeen-year-old enjoyed the most about the scenery was the greenery. The multiple cherry trees were more eye-catching, but Rui preferred the smaller plants. The different kinds of colorful flowers full of little critters littered the garden beds. Today, there seemed to be a few bees and butterflies along with a black and yellow Joro Spider chilling on a pink chrysanthemum. It was a peaceful sight. One that he had helped create with the gardening committee.

Rui liked observing his environment, sure, but what he preferred was to observe people. Their looks, mannerisms, the way they talked… It was all interesting information that could help his shows. Usually, the boy took mental notes of what he saw so that he could incorporate some of these elements in his troupe’s stories. The purple-haired inventor had taken note of the stars in Shiraishi’s hair and how it could be interesting to use them as inspirations for costumes. He had seen Shinonome appear out of nowhere when they were talking about his partner while Aoyagi’s usual stoic expression soften when the ginger-haired boy was near him. That would be interesting to incorporate in stories if they ever ended up adding romantic scenes. 

The people at his school were entrancing to watch from afar. They would probably not say the same thing about him, instead, calling him a weirdo or a freak, but that was okay. He could watch them from the sidelines and take notes. That was where Rui belonged anyways. In any case, it was not like he wanted to hang out with them. The genius director only wanted to be with the people who now accepted him such as Mizuki, Nene, Emu, and Tsukasa.

Speaking of Tsukasa, he was waiting for him by the wide entrance. An involuntary smile made its way to Rui’s lips as he continued to walk toward his friend. He really, really liked looking at Tsukasa. The sun was shining on his leaning frame and making him look angelic. His back was softly pressed onto the pillar next to the right-most glass door and he was looking at his phone, a strand of his light blond hair with peach ends gently brushing his left cheek. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed in concentration and his left hand was lifted and resting fist closed on his chin.

His orange-yellowish eyes slightly looked up from his phone and locked onto him. Perhaps it was a trick of the light, but his eyes lit up in recognition. He turned off his phone and pocketed it in his navy school uniform pants then detached himself from the pillar to face the director’s way. His majestic eyes closed and he blessed Rui with his iconic, brighter-then-the-sun smile.

“Hey, Rui!!!” Tsukasa practically yelled with his booming, yet melodic voice. He was running towards him. “You’re finally here! I’ve been waiting for ten minutes you know! You were almost late again!!! Seriously, making a star like me wait.”

The light of the sun was still illuminating the blonde-haired boy’s  frame, reflecting on his hair and making it look shiny. A true star. His face also seemed to reflect the light because of how smooth and clear his skin was. He probably practiced a lot of self-care and washed his face twice daily to keep it free from imperfections. To cup his cheeks would feel wonderful; how he wished to one day be able to do that.

“My bad, my little star~” Tsukasa blushed at his comment and turned to look away. Somehow, the blond boy could call himself that way without flinching or getting embarrassed, but when Rui did it, he got all flustered. It was utterly adorable. Red was a beautiful color on Tsukasa, but it was only beautiful on the tip of his ears or on his cheeks.

The shining boy always had the habit of making things Rui hated become bearable. Like the color red, for example. The director destested that color with a passion. Red was the color of blood, the color of love, and the color of those goddamn cursed strings.

The red strings of fate were, as the name said, red. And Rui hated them with a passion. Why? Because he could see them and this quirk of his had only brought him misery.

–

Rui Kamishiro had been six when he first saw the red strings.

It had been a hot summer day and he had been walking with his mother and father around his neighborhood. The young boy remembered holding his mother’s hand with his left and holding his father’s with his right. He was happy to spend time with them. The family was going to get ice cream and then walk to a park. His mom was surely going to get distracted by the flowers and insects, rattling on about different biological facts pertaining to the different creatures they were to encounter. He and his father would listen to her ramblings with a smile on their faces. His dad would look at his wife fondly while Rui would take mental notes of everything his mom would say. It was interesting, after all.

Rui was pretty much skipping his steps and dragging along his parents. He couldn’t wait to get his ice cream. The child wanted a big rainbow ice cream with sprinkles in a cone. It was going to taste so good he could practically feel the flavors on his tongue at that moment. Just imagining it put a huge smile on his face and got him all giddy.

As the family approached the ice cream stand, Rui blinked and suddenly saw a weird red string in front of him. It was shining because of the light from the sun. It was pretty. The boy blinked again and the string was still there. He let go of his father’s hand and tried to reach for the thread, but his hand passed through. How odd! Rui didn’t believe in ghosts so he determined that there had to be a scientific explanation as to why he couldn’t feel the string when he reached it. Also, on TV, ghosts were the spirits of things that were once alive and twine was not alive, silly. So, his conclusion was that the string was in fact not a ghost.

His parents were looking at him weirdly. To them, he had reached into the void and grabbed nothing. They decided to let it go and chalked it up to their son having seen a tiny fly or something. The family of three kept walking and joined the line in front of the ice cream booth. There were many people waiting and only two employees working, so it was going to take a while. Rui didn’t care; his mind was immersed in the mystery of the string, so he had forgotten what they were doing.

The purple-haired six-year-old continued to observe the cord intently. It was facing him horizontally and was very loose. The string was probably attached to something on both his left and right since it stretched in both directions. He decided to follow it with his eyes towards the left and saw that it led to his mother’s hand. The boy approached his mother’s hand closer to his face to observe it better and remarked that the string was attached to her pinky. He started trying to detangle it, but once again, his hand passed right through it. The elementary schooler tried grabbing it from many angles but the result was the same. The string was untouchable. His mother was starting to get worried at her son’s odd behavior. She asked:

“Is anything wrong, my little platypus? Are you worried about something?”

Rui snapped out of his thoughts and looked at his mom. He too was getting confused. Why wasn’t she more worried about the string? It was attached to her after all. It looked pretty tightly tied too, wouldn’t that hurt? Or maybe he was wrong and it was not that tight, but still, wouldn’t it block some of the blood circulation at some point? All these questions were making little Rui’s head hurt.

His father had also been watching his son closely after he grabbed nothing out of the air. He was worried but didn’t know how to voice it, so he let his wife do the talking. She knew how to handle all sorts of situations after all.

Rui started nervously chewing his bottom lip. He didn’t understand why no one thought this was odd. Were they just used to seeing the strings? Why was it the first time he saw them? Questions, questions, questions… He decided to voice them:

“Why is there a string attached to your pinky, Mama?”

Mrs. Kamishiro was taken aback by her son’s question. She decided to look at both of her pinkies to understand what her son was saying. The purple-haired woman saw nothing. She looked at her husband who was frowning and looked confused. He, too, seemed to have no clue as to what their son was referring to. She gently asked:

“What string, baby?”

“That one right there.” He pointed at her right pinky and gestured at the air in a horizontal line leading to her husband.

It was at that moment that Rui realized that the other end of the string was attached to his father’s right pinky. He was so shocked that his eyes widened at the realization.

“Woah! The string is also attached to Daddy!”

His father was not a man who knew how to react to unexpected situations. He usually left his wife take care of any social situations and weird problems with their son. It was not because he was a bad father or anything, he was just a socially inept person. The blue-haired man often told his wife that he was the luckiest man on Earth to have found such a perfect woman and that if they had never met, he would have spent his miserable life alone. Mrs. Kamishiro always retorted that she was a lucky woman to have such a loving and caring husband and that she was certain that if they had not met, he would have found someone better. Rui, on the other hand, always thought that they were meant for each other and that he had the best parents in the whole world. He wouldn’t ask for anyone else to call family.

Mr. Kamishiro was shuffling his feet awkwardly and was begging his wife with his eyes to take care of the situation. She sighed and said:

“My little platypus, there’s nothing there.”

"Um, yes there is. See?" He lifted up his mother's right hand closer to her so she could see the string.

"Rui, what are you talking about? There's nothing on my pinky," she insisted. Rui kept trying to show her the string, but she kept denying that there was anything there. This went on for a few minutes until Rui started to feel like something was very wrong. It was honestly starting to scare him that his mother kept insisting that there was nothing there. He snapped:

“Yes, there is! Can’t you see? It’s here, here, here!” Rui was stomping his feet in frustration. What did she mean by ‘there’s nothing there’? There clearly was a red string right in front of him. It was right there! Could she not see?

“Okay okay, I get it. Is this some game you are playing?” his mother calmly tried to get the situation back in control.

“N-no! There really is a string. Right here! See? See?” Rui exclaimed, distressed. Why couldn’t she see? What was happening? Rui started to breathe fast and his eyes blurred. He let go of his mom’s hand and grabbed onto his hair with both hands. The young boy pulled hard because he didn’t know what to do anymore. Everything was overwhelming and his headache was growing. The same thought kept circling in his head.

Why couldn’t she see? Why couldn’t she see? Why couldn’t she see?

He kept repeating “There, there, there!” while pointing at the string. His mom tried to calm him down but he was too far gone to listen to her. Something was very, very wrong. She couldn’t see the string. Tears streamed down his face and he stomped the ground with his feet. He didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand. She couldn’t see the string. His emotions were overwhelming him, but he didn’t know which ones he was feeling. He kept pulling at his hair in despair while his parents tried to get his hands out of his locks. The six-year-old kept sobbing and sobbing and kicking the ground and wailing.

She couldn’t see the string.

And he didn’t understand why that made him so upset.

Everything was out of control. The people waiting in the line were now staring at him and his family. He looked around and saw that they too had strings attached to their pinkies. Some had twine on their finger and a small amount of filament pointing in a specific direction. Others had full fledge strings that led to another person. Looking at the scene made Rui more distressed. Did they too not see the red thread?

Eventually, his father finally acted, seeing as the situation had degenerated, and picked up his wailing son. They apologized to the gawking strangers and quickly walked towards their home, having forgone ordering ice cream. Rui kept lightly kicking and punching his father’s back with his tiny fists. He was sobbing uncontrollably on his dad’s shoulders, not having a clue why he had such a reaction. His father had one hand gently petting his hair to try and calm him down while the other was holding him. His mother was speaking what he assumed to be calming words, but he could not hear anything as he felt as though there was cotton in his ears.

They finally arrived at their house and went to Rui’s bedroom. His father put him on his bed while he was still sobbing uncontrollably. Both parents sat next to their child and tried to comfort him the best they could. No one understood what had transpired just a few minutes ago, but they decided to think about it another time. After all, their son was distressed for some reason and they had to make it better somehow. His father kept stroking his hair and his mother was hugging him. He eventually fell asleep from exhaustion.

The next day, Rui woke up feeling groggy. His eyes stung from all the crying he had done the day prior and there were still tear tracks on his cheeks. His nose was stuffy, so he went to the bathroom to blow it. After that, he decided to take a deep breath and analyze yesterday’s situation. He saw red strings attached to his parent’s pinkies. They couldn’t see them. His conclusion was that the red strings were a figment of his imagination and that he had dreamt the whole of yesterday up. It made him uneasy to think that, but Rui brushed it off and went downstairs to see his parents. Well, he was going to see his mom only, since his dad was most likely still asleep. Even so, his mother had made breakfast for all three of them. It smelled very good and it made him hungry. His tummy rumbled and it reminded him that he had not eaten dinner the night before since he had fallen asleep instead.

Each step made him feel more nervous. Again, something felt very, very wrong. He pushed through the feeling and approached the kitchen. The small kid could see his mother humming a tune while cooking. Rui listened to her sing The First Sound hidden behind the entrance of the kitchen. It was nostalgic as she used to sing that song to him all the time, especially when he was younger. He remembered falling asleep to the sound of her voice almost every night. Just hearing it started to make him feel drowsy.

He snapped out of it and peeked his head from the doorway. Rui looked at his mom from afar and was starting to enter the room when he saw it.

The red string.

Right on his mother’s pinky. So he had not dreamt it. The red string did exist. He could see it. But they couldn’t.

Rui felt panic rise up his chest and he quickly ran back to his room. He must have been quite loud because seconds after entering, he heard his mother ask:

“Rui, is something wrong? Why did you run up the stairs like that?”

The strings were real. The strings were real. The strings were real…

What was happening?

He was breathing harshly but no oxygen was entering his lungs. His head was feeling light and everything was blurry. The corner of his eyes was becoming dark and he could hear a loud buzzing in his ear.

Suddenly, he heard a muffled sound and a blurry silhouette was in front of him. It bent down to his level and was saying something:

“B…the b…, .re….”

He kept trying to catch his breath but it wasn’t working. The light kept dimming and dimming and everything felt more stuffy. At some point, he didn’t know when, but he was able to feel the air enter his system. The silhouette in front of him slowly turned into his worried mother who kept repeating that he should breathe. The purple-haired child tackled her in a hug and trembled in her embrace. She told him:

“Everything is okay baby. It’s all gonna be okay. There, there.”

Rui kept trembling and breathing more slowly. He was still so scared of what he had seen even if it made no sense. Those were just strings, right? But no one else could see them. Why was he the only one who could see them?

After a while, he calmed down. His mother was still holding him tightly waiting for him to regain his composure. He let go of the hug and looked at her. She was worried, but still had warmth in her eyes. She asked:

“What happened, my little platypus?”

He took a shaky breath and answered:

“Th-the strings. They are s-still there.”

His mother was silent. She surely didn’t know how to handle such a situation. How would a mother even react to their child admitting to seeing invisible red strings anyways? She tried a different approach than the day before. Instead of denying what her son was seeing, she decided to reassure him.

“It’s okay baby. It’s just a string okay. It can’t hurt you.”

“B-but you said you can’t see it…”

“W-well, I suppose I did say that, but it doesn’t matter. Like I said, it’s just a string, right?”

“Y-yes…”

“Then, there is no reason to be this upset, okay? Just because I can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s dangerous.”

“O-okay.”

“Good! And who knows, maybe they’ll disappear later on? If not, then it’s okay, because they are just strings. They can’t hurt you.”

Rui looked at his mother’s pinky and shuddered. He really hoped they would disappear soon, but his mother was right. They were just strings, so it was fine.

“Right!” he said more confidently.

“Alright then, let’s go eat some breakfast.”

The next day, the strings were still there. And the next. And the next. And soon enough, a week had passed and the threads were still there. Rui was starting to get the feeling that the strings were here to stay. He didn’t know why he could see them and what they were for. The smart boy decided to do some research on the object. Perhaps there existed legends and stories about them. He was right, of course.

The red strings that he saw oddly resembled the strings described originally in Chinese mythology as the Red Thread of Fate. An ancient Chinese proverb said that it was an invisible red thread that connected those who were destined to meet regardless of time, place, or circumstance . In short, the string connected two soulmates together. How interesting that he could see such an incredible thing.

Over the course of the next week, Rui started gathering information on his new predicament. He learned that everyone around him had a string on their right-hand pinky. Well, everyone except him for some reason. The little boy was disappointed at first but concluded that his gift of sight had to have some limitations. After all, he could see everyone’s soulmate, but they themselves could not. It would be cheating if he could see his, wouldn’t it? He would eventually find them, but just like everybody else, he would have to do it blindly. That was his conclusion on the subject.

The next thing he discovered was that some strings were full, meaning he could see the entire thread attached from one person to another, while others were barely visible. That meant that Rui could see the string attached to someone’s pinky plus a few centimeters more, but that was it. He could not see where it led. The vegetable hater concluded that full threads meant that the two people had met their soulmates, while the incomplete ones indicated that they had yet to find each other. He was proven wrong quite quickly.

On a weekend day, Rui had woken up later than usual due to having stayed up late the night before. He had been doing research on his new quirk and had forgotten to sleep. The robot creator quickly dressed up and went downstairs to see his parents. He greeted his mom happily and saw that his father was not there.

“Where’s Daddy?”

“He left for an emergency at work, he’ll be back tonight.” She pointed at the door. Rui saw her string and remarked that it was now short. A million questions exploded in his brain. Why was it short? His parents were soulmates and they had clearly met, so why was it short? What was happening?

Did something happen to his dad? Was he dead? He was dead, wasn’t he?

Rui screamed which startled his mom. He burst into tears and kept repeating “Daddy, why?” over and over and over again.

His dad was dead. His dad was dead. His dad was dead…

His mother immediately stopped what she was doing and ran toward her son. She embraced him in a hug and asked in a panic:

“What’s wrong, baby? What’s wrong?”

“I-it’s d-daddy. H-he’s dead,” he wailed uncontrollably.

His mother was frozen and had a look of terror on her face. Her voice trembled as she said her next words:

“W-why do you say that, my little platypus? He’s just at work, you know.”

“B-because! Your re-red string i-is now short, s-so that must m-mean he… he’s… he’s dead!”

“Baby, th-that can’t be right!”

“There’s no other explanation! You guys are soulmates and you’ve met each other. The string is supposed to be full, b-but now it’s short. S-so the only explanation is that he’s dead!” he practically yelled.

“N-now now, let’s test that theory, okay? I’ll try calling him to see if you’re right,” his mother said with false calm.

“O-okay.” He kept sobbing

His mother scrolled to his father’s contact on her phone. She clicked the icon and the phone number dialed itself. The woman put the call on speaker mode. His mother’s hands were slightly trembling while both Kamishiros were waiting with hitched breaths for the man to answer. The only sound in the house was that of Rui’s hiccups and the phone. After a few seconds, the line got picked up and a voice could be heard on the other end.

“Hello, honey. You never call me when I’m at work, is something the matter?”

His mother let out a breath that she had been holding in. Rui was still sniffling quietly. He still couldn’t be sure that his father was still alive. What if this was just a figment of his imagination?

His dad was dead. His dad was dead. His dad was dead…

The thoughts kept swirling in his head. He had to confirm without a shadow of a doubt that the voice he was hearing was real, and for that, he needed to hear it again and make sure it was him.

“It’s nothing urgent honey just-”

Rui snatched the phone from his mother’s hand.

“D-daddy!!! What’s the name of the first robot you gifted me?” he practically screamed at the phone.

“Um… Explosion? What’s this about, my little platypus?”

Tears of relief rolled down the boy’s cheeks. His father was indeed alive. He smiled brightly and said:

“Y-you’re alive, I’m so glad!”

There was silence for a little while on the other side of the line. His mother looked uncomfortable but waited patiently for her husband to answer.

“O-of course, my little platypus! Wh-why would you think otherwise?”

“B-because Mama’s red string became short all of a sudden and you two are soulmates. You’ve already met each other, so it’s supposed to stay full! Or maybe not, I don’t know! I might’ve been wrong, sorry.”

“It’s alright, Rui. I’m sorry to have worried you, but I’m just at work. I’m alright, my little Rui. Thank you for checking up on me.”

“‘Re welcome…”

They said their goodbyes and hung up. The silence after the call was deafening. He couldn’t look his mother in the eyes because of his embarrassment. He didn’t know why his mind went automatically to ‘his father is dead’ when he saw how short the string had become. There were probably a million different other explanations, but that was the one he was convinced was right for some reason. The elementary schooler should probably stop watching TV shows and reading stories involving tragedies.

He was ashamed. Rui made his mother worry. He made his father worry. And he made himself worry. All for nothing. It was stupid. He was stupid. This shouldn’t have happened. But how was he supposed to know? The small inventor had little to no information on how these strings worked and it wasn’t like anyone else could help him.

His mother hugged him tightly. She seemed to be doing that quite a bit more than usual lately. He reciprocated and hugged her just as tight. Guilt. He felt guilt for having worried his mother for nothing. It was at that moment that he resolved himself to continue on his relentless pursuit of uncovering the secrets behind his quirk. When he had all of that knowledge with him, everything would return to normal and it would be as if he was a normal boy who didn’t worry his parents for no reason because he could see the red threads of fate.

And that was that. There would be nothing more and the case would be closed. That was what he thought.

On the other hand, that was the final straw for his parents. Something was clearly wrong with their son and doing nothing was not helping him. They should have done something when their son had first told them about these red strings. Later, they decided to take him to the doctor. They thought he was seeing things and that perhaps this was an early sign of mental illness. Ever the good parents they were, they wanted the best for their son. Even if he ended up diagnosed with something, they would love him unconditionally and accept him, but they wanted to lessen his burden. They were ready to pay for therapy or any other treatment if it meant their son would have a semblance of a ‘normal’ life.

The first doctor they saw told them that their son was faking it for attention.

“He must have watched an anime with red strings and decided to play a game pretending to see them. Children do that sort of thing all the time, there is nothing to worry about.”

The parents tried to get the doctor to take their case seriously since they knew their son had been sincere about seeing the red string, but he waved them off. Frustrated, the Kamishiros went to see another doctor. The response was pretty much the same:

“Little Kamishiro here must have been imagining things. He will grow out of it.”

The parents once again tried to get the doctor to do some tests on their son, but he refused and brushed off their concerns. Undeterred, the couple went to see another doctor, and another, and another… They all said the same thing, that Rui was lying and that he didn’t see any red strings.

This song and dance went on for three and a half years until one day, an accident in Elementary school made Rui shut down and never mention the strings again.

–

Rui and Tsukasa were walking toward their class as the bell was about to ring. His - the star kept scolding him for his almost tardiness while Rui listened, showing no regrets. The blonde boy was so cute when slightly annoyed. His eyebrows were faintly furrowed, but his eyes did not burn with anger, rather they oozed with fondness. His cheeks still had a light pink color to them and his mouth tried to not smile, but couldn’t contain it. His arms and hands moved around animatedly, just as always when he talked, to dramatize his words. His luscious locks kept bouncing around after each step he took. How he wished to brush his hand through those beautiful blonde strands. They would be soft and electric to the touch, just like everything that was Tsukasa.

“Hey, are you even listening to me?” Tsukasa said annoyed. Of course, Rui had been listening to his every word. His voice was like an angel’s, how could he not? Every sentence, word, and sound that came out of his mouth was like a hypnotizing melody. He could read a shopping list and Rui would listen with far more attention than when he attended class and remember everything he said. So yes, Rui was listening to Tsukasa. But, he liked to pretend like he didn’t to rile his little star up.

“Yes, yes, of course, my shining star~” Rui teased. Immediately, Tsukasa’s blush came back with a revenge. Aaahh, too cute. How he wished to kiss him right now.

He really, really needed to stop thinking about how cute his friend looked. It was going to hurt him in the long run. He told himself that day after day after day, but he never stopped thinking about him. About how beautiful he looked on the Wonder Stage while performing the main role, how marvelous he looked when he was sitting on the rooftop next to Rui and talking about their next show, how dazzling his eyes looked in the sunlight, how cute he looked when blushing at Rui’s teasing… The worst part was that he went out of his way to be able to lay his eyes on such sights. He knew exactly what words and actions to say and do to make the blood rush to Tsukasa’s face. The director used that weapon to his advantage way too much.

Rui Kamishiro really was a masochist.

It was no secret to himself that he was utterly smitten with his troupe leader. How could he not be? Tsukasa was the second person to accept his weird ideas and really want to make them a reality. He had gone out of his way to get him to join his troupe after seeing one of his guerilla gigs at Phoenix Wonderland and accepted his condition to join too. After their first fight, the blonde teen tried apologizing over and over, even going out of his way to ambush him and create a show to show him his true feelings. Tsukasa really wanted Rui to be the director of his troupe, even if Rui was stubborn and didn’t want to at first.

Tsukasa had created a place where Rui belonged. Where his weirdness, his antics, and his chaos were accepted and encouraged. He could ask the troupe to do something so absurd and they would do it eventually. The yellow-eyed teenager had never thought someone such as him would find a place of belonging, but Tsukasa burst into his life with his bright smile and loud voice and changed Rui’s whole world.

Not only that, but Tsukasa accepted Rui Kamishiro for who he was. The purple-haired boy had made him do many dangerous stunts, but he never ran away. He even sometimes went out of his way to search for Rui to see what new things he wanted to make Tsukasa do. The future star also wanted to get to know the real Rui. He really wanted to break down his walls, even if they stubbornly remained up. The actor had yet to entirely succeed, but it was the thought that counted. Tsukasa usually went out of his way to make sure Rui was feeling in tip-top shape. If Rui was feeling slightly down, Tsukasa would be there to cheer him up somehow. If Rui was happy, Tsukasa was happy with him. If Rui was holding back for some reason, Tsukasa was there to make sure that would not happen. At night, the orange-yellow-eyed boy would often send him texts reminding him to eat, drink and go to sleep. Tsukasa would also randomly send him links to show videos for inspiration, flowers he’d seen while walking around, and random show ideas. Ever since they met, Tsukasa had been a constant in his life; either being next to him or on his mind.

But, it didn’t matter if Rui loved Tsukasa. Because they were not meant to be together.

It wasn’t because it was unrequited or anything. Rui would be terribly dense and blind to think so. The short boy was often blushing at Rui’s teasing or sometimes for no reason. He frequently stuttered when talking to him, even if with others he had boundless confidence. His eyes constantly lit up when they met and he perked up when the purple-haired boy entered a room. The pretty boy often laughed loudly when they were together, but not his arrogant laugh, his real one. Tsukasa seemed to go out of his way to seek Rui when they were at school and often invited him to hang out alone to talk about their shows. He acted differently with Emu and Nene than with Rui. It was so, so cute! So, yes Tsukasa liked him back.

But the problem was that it wouldn’t last. Rui knew Tsukasa had a soulmate out there. Or so he assumed that a guy like him had someone who would love him entirely out there; he had never had the courage to check. And that person was certainly not Rui; it was a fact he had accepted. Even if they were to enter a relationship like normal people do, the theater actor would eventually break up with him. He would find his soulmate and live his life with them, while Rui would be alone as usual. Sure, relationships failed all the time, but Rui was not ready to enter one knowing that it would end in a disaster. When Tsukasa would realize that there was someone far superior to him out there, Rui was certain he would never see him again. Even if they were to stay ‘friends’ after the breakup, the genius inventor would have lost the person who meant the most to him. He wasn’t sure he would be able to deal with the heartbreak. He wasn’t sure if he would survive it.

So, Rui is content with observing on the sideline. That was where he belonged: longing for a romance that would never work and looking at couples with envy. It hurt, but that was life. The purple-haired director would keep his feelings for himself and try to bury them as much as possible while hoping that Tsukasa never confessed. He was also banking on Tsukasa being oblivious to both of their feelings forever. If the one he loved were to confess, it was over for him. He would have lost the person he cherished the most since he would have to reject him, for both of their sakes.

“W-well, what did I say, eh?” Tsukasa interrupted his thoughts.

“You were saying how we should shoot you out of a canon in our next show! Fufu~” Rui lied.

“That is not what I said!” Tsukasa shouted, disrupting the peace in the corridors of Kamiyama High. The students glared at him, but he was oblivious to it all. Rui looked at him with an innocent smile and a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“What? You don’t think it’s a good idea for our next show? Why, it would be a spectacular sight. You would shine brighter than a star! A true shooting star, fufu~” Tsukasa reddened.

“A-Alright, geez! I’ll think about it!” Tsukasa looked downwards. His eyes narrowed and he suddenly took Rui’s left hand with both of his. The touch was electrifying, enough to make Rui’s brain short-circuit. He felt heat rush to his cheeks and a frozen stupid smile make its way to his lips. Tsukasa’s hands were smooth like a newborn’s butt. He used lotion on them, Rui was certain. How wonderful! Rui was melting.

“Oh my god, did you hurt yourself while working on one of your projects yesterday? Geez, you should be more careful, seriously.” Tsukasa said while lifting their hands up to get a better look.

Rui’s eyes slowly trailed toward their hands. It seemed like he had indeed hurt himself, but it was just a scratch that had already stopped bleeding. It was small and a little red, but he didn’t feel any pain. That wasn’t what caught Rui’s eyes though. Tsukasa’s hands were on his, both his left and right. On his right hand’s pinky was…

Red

Oops, he didn’t mean to look at that.

And the few centimeters he could see were pointing in his direction.

Chapter Text

His heart was beating way too fast. Rui needed to calm down and think rationally once more. Just because the red string was pointing in his direction didn’t mean they were soulmates. It just meant that Tsukasa's actual soulmate was in the direction the inventor was standing in at the moment. He needed to stop looking at it and continue ignoring it as he usually had lest his heart starts jumping to conclusions and making up scenarios. The yellow-eyed director didn’t need nor want false hope about a relationship that was destined to fail.

Tsukasa seemed to realize that he was holding Rui’s hand and let it go. He turned twenty different shades of red and started apologizing really loud and fast.

“Omygod, RUI! I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I did that and, gah, this is so embarrassing and-” The bell rang. “Anyways, I’ll see you during the break. Bye now!” Rui watched as Tsukasa ran towards his class, rapidly opening and closing the door. It was good that the blonde teenager was too flustered to notice the purple-haired teen’s reaction. Well, it probably wouldn’t have mattered anyways since the star seemed to never mind that sort of thing. Rui had often blushed in his vicinity or stared at him for longer than how friends usually do and the star had brushed it off as a friendly thing. Hopeless, but that was going in the director’s favor.

Rui walked towards his class and sat down at his desk. The teenager opened his notebook, not his school one, but his show one. This was where he would compile his random ideas for future performances. Today, the troupe was going to meet up at the Wonder Stage and discuss the next show they were going to put on. He wanted to brainstorm with himself before presenting his ideas to the group. Since he was not going to be paying attention in class anyways as he didn’t need to, what better time than now? Sure, the teacher would be annoyed with him, but they were always snippy with him no matter what he did. If they called out to him, he could easily answer whatever questions they threw at him.

He started writing. What if they did an Alice in Wonderland-inspired show? Emu could be Alice, Nene the red queen, Tsukasa the rabbit, and Rui the Cheshire cat. The other side characters could be played by his robots or the actors could have a double role (except Emu since she would be the main character). The director frowned; he wasn’t sure about that idea. It would be fun to put on such a play, but he didn’t feel like doing it now. Rui wanted to create a different type of show for their next one. Maybe they could try to put on an original play. It was always extremely fun when they did those sorts of shows since they could go beyond the limits of what they were capable of. The time limits and stress that came with it, the writing of an entire story and script, the costumes and props having to be created… It was truly exhilarating!

An idea came into his mind. Their plays were usually inspired by other pre-written pieces. How about spicing things out? He wanted to create a story that would go beyond the audience’s expectations. So, he wrote down what came to mind. The story he created went a little like this:

A Knight’s Purpose by Wonderlands X Showtime

Cast:

Knight: Tsukasa Tenma

Princess: Nene Kusanagi

Queen: Emu Ootori

Alchemist: Rui Kamishiro

In a kingdom far away, there lived a white knight who wanted to marry the kingdom’s princess. He thought she was beautiful and had fallen for her. The princess had also fallen for him and they wanted to wed. He asked the queen for her hand in marriage.

The queen knew that he was a brave and strong knight, but wanted to test him one last time. She asked him to get rid of the kingdom’s evil alchemist living alone in the woods. He wanted to destroy the kingdom with his evil powerful spells. But the alchemist had a weakness, he didn’t attack anyone randomly all the time; only knights and anyone related to royalty. The queen asked the knight to go undercover as a villager to befriend the lonely alchemist and get rid of him. In exchange, he would be able to have her daughter’s hand in marriage. The knight set off on a journey of befriending and gaining the alchemist’s trust. At first, the alchemist was snippy and pushed him away, but eventually, the knight slowly got through to him. The knight learned that the alchemist had been banished from the kingdom because the queen said he was too dangerous. In reality, she was jealous of his talent because she had always wanted to be able to create potions like him. She spread nasty rumors about him to make everyone scared of him and the knights try to hunt him down. Their friendship continued for a while until the alchemist let his guard completely down.

That was when the knight decided to act. Even if he had come to befriend the alchemist, he still desired to marry the princess more than anything, so he stabbed him in the chest during one of his visits. The alchemist was betrayed and asked him to explain why he had done that, but the knight simply said it had been the condition for his marriage, not regretting anything. The alchemist asked if he had ever considered them friends, but the knight said no. The alchemist died lonely and crying, while the knight got to marry the one he loved and lived happily ever after.

The end.

Someone took his notebook while he was writing and it left a big line of pen on the page. The genius inventor looked up and saw a boy with black hair reading it and looking mockingly. It seemed like the class was over and he hadn’t noticed in time for this situation to have been avoided. The guy looked at him and sneered.

“What’s the weirdo writing? Is that fanfiction of you and Tenma? Fucking gross, you’re such a freak. Bet Tenma’s disgusted by you.” the nobody said. Clearly, he couldn’t read because this was about friendships and betrayal. Well, it didn’t matter what someone with such low intelligence thought of his new play; as long as the troupe liked it, it was going to be a hit. The purple menace glared at this guy.

“Please give me back my notebook, I need it for my after-school activities,” Rui said as to the point as possible, not showing any other reactions. If he showed them a lot of emotions, this guy would continue harassing him. Sadly, he knew from experience.

Another guy with brown hair came up to him. It was probably his friend or something.

“Hey, what’s this? A diary? That’s seriously so sissy! Can’t believe this guy could be even more of a dick sucker than he already is.” Seriously, the digs at his sexuality were getting a bit much. Also, how were diaries sissy? Not like he had one, but even so, how?

He sighed and put his hand in front of him, palm open.

“I said, give it back, please. This is my notebook, I want it back. Don’t make me repeat myself.” He thought that people feared him too much or thought he was too much of a weirdo to annoy him. Well, he was wrong and it was the worst. Did people not have anything else to do? They were in high school, shouldn’t they be studying for the entrance exams instead of picking on him? Who was he kidding, fools like them could never enter college. They would probably end up at some dead-end job or selling drugs on the streets.

“Yikes, you should probably give it back, his face is so scary haha!” one of the two said.

“Oh no, what are you gonna do, bomb me?” the other said in an annoying voice.

“Wait, he might actually do that.” That was not true; he would never hurt anyone on purpose. But they didn’t need to know that. If they thought he was dangerous, they would leave him alone, right? Rui didn’t have time for such stupid interactions, he could be writing down more ideas in his notebook instead.

Suddenly, the door to their class opened up abruptly, startling everyone in the room. A loud booming voice said:

“Rui!!! Sorry, I was late. I had to finish a worksheet real quick because we had to give it back. Anyways, I’m here now.” The star walked towards his desk.

“Shit, his boyfriend’s here,” nobody number one said.

“Ewwww, I don’t wanna be here while they flirt and shit. Disgusting!” nobody number two whined. Nobody number one dropped his notebook and both of them scrammed before Tsukasa reached his desk.

“Who were those guys? Did you finally make other friends?” Tsukasa asked teasingly.

“Of course not, my star. You’re stuck with me~” Rui answered making Tsukasa turn moderately red. “Anyways, they were just some random classmates, don’t worry about it.”

The star pulled out a chair in front of him and took a seat. “Oh! Is that your show idea notebook? Were you preparing for our brainstorming session?”

“Of course. As the director, I have to be prepared for such things.”

“As expected of m-our director! So, can I see what you have as of now?” Tsukasa leaned towards his book to try to see what was written. Rui closed the notebook right before he could see anything.

“Ah ah, no peeking. You’ll see it at the same time as the others. Be patient my star. Fufu~”

“Hey, no fair! Just a little, please.”

“Fufu~”

They talked more until the first bell rang and Tsukasa went back to his class. Rui continued writing ideas in his notebook until he reached five and called it quits. He decided to start writing prop invention ideas for the different shows he came up with. For his original story idea, he thought of how to make the killing and marriage scene. It didn’t seem too complicated since it did not involve any dangerous stunts for once. His energy could be focused on fleshing out the story and decor. Tsukasa might take care of one or two costumes. For the rest, they would have to buy them or he could ask Mizuki to make them. They might enjoy making the wedding attire, even if they were only for one little scene.

The bell rang to signify it was dinner time and, this time, Rui had heard it, so he had time to pack his things and leave for the rooftop before anyone could bother him. He went up the stairs and opened the door to the gated roof. The breeze was cool, but not cool enough to eat inside. The sun was shining brightly and the light wind was blowing his hair softly. He could see the trees and garden beds from his spot. It was a calming sight. He sat down on the floor, closed his eyes, and listened to the sound of the birds chirping and the wind blowing.

His calm was interrupted by a loud banging of the door opening. Well, it wasn’t unwanted as it was Tsukasa coming to eat with him. The shining boy sat down next to him and opened his luncheon. He was eating his favorite; ginger fried pork while Rui was eating veggie-less pot stickers. For once, the picky eater was satisfied with the lunch his mother had made him. Tsukasa was finally settled down elegantly as usual.

“Did you see the text in the group chat?” the blonde-haired boy asked.

“Hm?” The director pulled out his phone and looked at the text.

Diva: Srry. need 2 study. Can’t join u guys during lunch.

“Well, I guess she’s not joining us.” Rui shrugged. He used his chopsticks to grab a bite of Tsukasa’s fried pork. He deliberately didn’t take any of the vegetables, only the meat, and ate it without shame.

“H-hey! You have your own lunch, you know.” Tsukasa glared at him. Rui looked at him innocently. Another less loud bang interrupted their dinner. This time, it was unwelcomed. The robot creator didn’t want to be disturbed again, especially in the presence of his star.

It was Aoyagi dragging behind him a very reluctant Shinonome.

“Tsukasa!” The bicolored-haired boy exclaimed.

“Oh, Toya. What can a star like me do for my favorite junior?” Aoyagi approached them and sat down in front of them, Shinonome in tow. The orange-haired boy looked annoyed to be here and kept grumbling to the other.

“I wanted to know if you and Saki were free this Saturday,” the stoic boy stated.

“Of course. What for?”

“Well… I wanted us to have a sibling dinner with Akito. We-we started dating a little while ago and I wanted to introduce him to you guys as my boyfriend,” Aoyagi said with determination. Shinonome was blushing at being called the bicolored-haired teen’s boyfriend.

The revelation didn’t shock Rui in the slightest. He had known they would end up together the moment he saw the two of them near each other. That was because he had seen their full red string connected to each other’s pinkies. It was pretty hard to ignore it since it was constantly swinging between the two of them. Full strings were usually harder to ignore than their smaller counterparts.

“W-WHATTT!!! My little brother has a boyfriend!!!” Tsukasa yelled. Tears of joy streamed down his face.

“Congratulations you two,” the blonde-haired teenager sniffled.

Rui patted his back while Aoyagi looked at his big brother fondly. Shinonome was looking even more annoyed at this display of emotions.

“There there, Tsukasa.” Rui shushed.

“Ah, I’m so happy for you. Toya kept mentioning you all the time and he really seems to like you. Take good care of him okay.” Tsukasa congratulated, tears still streaming down his face. “If you ever hurt him, you know what’s coming!”

Rui took out his handkerchief and gave it to his friend who wiped his tears.

“Yes, yes. I’m sure Shinonome is very aware of the consequences of such a despicable action toward the World Future Star’s little brother. He wouldn’t do that, right Shinonome.” Rui looked at the ginger-haired teen pointedly.

“Right…”

“Now, let’s calm down and hear them out, shall we?”

“You’re right! I want to hear all about how this happened and your first date,” Tsukasa exclaimed with stars in his eyes.

Aoyagi recalled their story with fondness in his voice, Shinonome watching him explain with a small smile on his face. He retold how the hot-headed boy had confessed to him after one of their live singing events. The shorter one had been high on adrenaline and professed his love for the other backstage where they had shared their first kiss right after. They had gone on their first date at a café where they sold cheesecakes a day later. It was sickeningly romantic and sappy; it made Rui’s stomach churn. The way they kept looking at each other how he probably looked at Tsukasa, the little smiles they exchanged, the hand holding…

He was jealous of them. Shinonome and Aoyagi were what Rui wished he had. But that would never happen because Rui Kamishiro was soulmateless. It was a fact that he had recently discovered could happen. It hurt to know that there was no one out there who would accept and understand him for who he was in his entirety. Sure, he now had people who accepted him but did not understand him. At least, not entirely. The closest person he had who seemed to do those things was Tsukasa he supposed. And man, that really hurt. Tsukasa was so important to him and Rui wanted to be with him. The genius inventor wanted to go on dates with him, wake up next to him in the mornings, hold his hand, kiss him… But he couldn’t. Because even if he did, it would never last. Because Tsukasa had a soulmate. And Rui was soulmateless.

–

Rui Kamishiro had been seventeen years old when he learned that people can be soulmateless.

It was fairly recently too. The revelation was still fresh and made Rui’s heart feel heavy when he recalled it. He had been hanging out with Asahi and the cast of Arkland at a restaurant close to the place where they had performed. They were celebrating another successful show. The group was cheering for how awesome Asahi and Tsukasa had looked on stage and praising their performances. They also praised him plenty for having been able to produce such an amazing show. The vibe was cheerful as they ordered their drinks and food.

When they received their drinks, they cheered again. A lot of the Arkland cast had ordered sake even if they were in the vicinity of minors. Well, the young ones were not drinking, so it didn’t matter. Conversations flew from left and right while they waited for their food. Rui was having a blast talking to all these fun people while drinking his green tea.

Even after their previous conversation, Asahi and Rui were still talking as they previously had. There was no tension from the temporary rejection of his offer and they could still have an exchange about whatever. He was sitting in front of him and they kept teasing each other and laughing. The director was having a great time and felt grateful to have had the opportunity to meet such great people, even if for not too long. That was until the guy sitting next to the brown-haired actor opened his mouth to say stupid things:

“Hey Asahi, won’t you be sad? You won’t be able to see little Kamishiro here as often as before hehe.”

“I mean sure, it’ll be sad to not be able to work with the guidance of such a talented director, but such is life," Asahi smoothly answered.

“Haha! Sure sure. Poor little Asahi, not able to see his little boy-toy every day. What’s he gonna do~” The man nudge Asahi’s arms while laughing. The purple-haired teenager froze and felt his insides churn. Was this guy implying that this twenty-three-year-old liked Rui, a minor, romantically? That was… disgusting! And all sorts of wrong! The yellow-eyed boy didn’t like him like that, he saw him as a friend at most, maybe as a mentor of sorts, but certainly not as a potential romantic partner. Had the proposition to go direct for Arkland a way for this grown man to take him away? And the way the man next to Asahi had referred to him, ‘boy-toy’, made him want to puke. Was that how he was referred to behind his back? Gross!!!

Rui felt himself tense up. He wanted to bolt out of this restaurant and never see these people again. But he would, eventually, because the brown-haired actor had told him he would ask again if he could direct for them when the inventor graduated. Well, he would just decline and run as far as he could from that guy.

His troupe mates had been subtly listening to their conversation and lept into action. Nene, who was sitting to his right, grabbed his arm tightly and dragged him closer to her. She also glared daggers at Asahi. Emu, to Nene’s right, looked distressed and grabbed onto her girlfriend. Tsukasa, who was to his left, changed his entire demeanor. He had been laughing with some other actor before overhearing what that guy had said. The star turned his head toward the two guys in front of Rui and glared at them.

“W-What did you just say?” Tsukasa’s booming voice resonated. The previous warm atmosphere at the table vanished. Everyone was looking at them.

“Kenji, what are you even saying? Don’t refer to Rui that way, that’s super inappropriate. And not only that but Rui’s too young for me, you know that!” Asahi’s eyes were blown wide and there was no trace of embarrassment on his face, only horror. Everything was still tense, though.

“What, so you guys aren’t like together yet?” the guy, ‘Kenji’, asked.

“No,” Asahi replied firmly.

“Ah, so you didn’t shoot your shot yet. Makes sense, you were always a shy one hehe~”

“W-What?” the brown-haired adult exclaimed, perplexed.

“Hey, little Kamishiro!” The guy turned his head to him and had a weird look in his eyes. Rui felt shivers down his spine. “A handsome guy like you probably has a girlfriend, right?”

“E-excuse me?” the director uttered, uncomfortable.

“Kenji! This is highly inappropriate! St-” Asahi got cut off.

“Ya heard me, D’you have a girlfriend?” the guy slurred. Nene squeezed his arm harder and Tsukasa’s eyebrows shut up to his hairline. The blonde boy even went as far as to put his right arm in front of the director to shield him. Rui remained silent and oozed discomfort.

“Stop this right now!” Asahi turned to face the uncomfortable teenager. “You don’t have to answer that.”

“I’ll take that as a no! Good for you Asahi hehe~”

“Kenji!!! Stop! I am not interested in Rui like that! I just find his method of directing fascinating.”

“Yeah right! Come on, you can admit it to your buddy. I mean, I don’t blame ya. Look at ‘im, a pretty face and a pretty bod. His cat smile’s pretty cute don’t ya think. And damn, his ass is probably pretty tight-”

“Shut the fuck up!” Tsukasa yelled. His eyes were burning with anger that he couldn’t contain and his jaw was clenched. The blonde actor grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the booth where they were sitting. Nene and Emu followed since the purple-eyed girl was still clinging to him and the pink-haired one had grabbed onto her. Tsukasa was walking fast towards the exit while the rest of the table stayed frozen in shock at the exchange.

“Seems you’ve got competition haha~” the guy laughed as they left in even more of a hurry.

Tsukasa’s jaw twitched and Rui could see a vein pop on his forehead. He said nothing as they crossed the doors of the restaurant and ended up outside on the busy road. The taller boy felt himself breathe a sigh of relief and the pressure that was building in his chest dissipated. His muscles relaxed as he breathed in fresh oxygen. Nene remained clung onto him and Tsukasa’s hand was still firmly on his wrist. He liked it and felt warmth emitting from it. It was a small comfort after such a tense situation.

But all good things had to come to an end, no matter how small. Tsukasa was still very riled up and his grip kept unconsciously tightening.

“You both can let me go now. You too, Tsukasa- Ow. Let go of my wrist, please. It hurts.”

Tsukasa immediately let go but was still stiff. He gazed at him softly and said:

“Sorry about that Rui. I didn’t mean to hurt you. That was a pretty weird situation, right? Are you okay?” Tsukasa looked at him with concern.

“I’m okay, thank you for your concern, my star. It’s good that this happened after our show and not during production. It would have been awkward, wouldn’t it?” Rui laughed it off. He still felt the remnants of his discomfort but didn’t want it to show. The star didn’t even blush at the nickname as he usually did. It seemed he didn’t believe him.

“I mean, I guess. But are you sure you’re okay, to think the guy you were starting to befriend thought of you like that…” Tsukasa was still scrutinizing him with his gaze, looking at him with so much worry.

“Really, I’m okay. You don’t have to worry. We won’t have to see them again, so it’s okay. Let’s just forget about-”

“But it’s not!” Tsukasa cut him off. The flame in his eyes was back and he was clenching his fists tightly. “How dare he say that about you! The disgusting comments that guy made and the nickname he called you, gross!”

“Really, Tsukasa, it’s okay. It’s better than what they call me at school anyways. I should be flattered instead,” Rui tried to diffuse the situation.

“Flattered? By such gross comments?” the blonde actor exclaimed, flabbergasted.

“I mean, at least they’re not calling me a weirdo or a freak so-”

“That doesn’t make it better! And the people calling you that are very, very wrong. If I catch them saying such things, I’ll make sure they regret it and never do it again! How dare they!”

“Tsukasa-”

“But that guy’s comments were still gross and inappropriate. You should not be flattered!”

“Well, I mean, technically they were complimenting me?”

“No, they were sexualizing you! If they were really complimenting you, they could have chosen way better things, like how smart you are and stuff. Not commenting on your body like that!”

“Tsukasa, you’re blowing this out of proportion, it’s fine.”

“It’s not!!! And, by the way, I’m never letting that guy, Asahi, close to you ever again. If he does, I’ll make him regret it. Someone who says such disgusting things about my director deserves no mercy!” Tsukasa’s knuckles were white. He really was out of it because he had slipped up and called Rui ‘his’ director. It had happened a couple of times before, but usually, the star always stammered and corrected himself by saying ‘our’ director instead. This time, there was not a trace of hesitation in the blonde boy’s face. He didn’t look like he was about to take it back. That made the heat rush to the director’s cheeks and his treacherous heart beat faster. Tsukasa meant every word he said and he was serious. Oh dear, that was not good for Rui’s heart.

“Tsukasa, I appreciate the sentiment but-”

“Wait!” A familiar voice could be heard and made Rui immediately tense up.

It also made the others react; Emu and Nene clung to him while Tsukasa stepped in front of him and faced the oncoming man. His arms were stretched horizontally to shield the inventor from the oncoming threat. Rui’s heart felt a little bit more at ease somehow.

“What are you doing here, you creep? You shouldn’t be seeing Rui ever again, are we clear?” Tsukasa yelled.

“Please, just listen to me for a few seconds,” Asahi begged as he stopped in front of them.

“Why would we-”

“Tsukasa, let’s hear him out, shall we?” Rui interrupted with a guarded smile.

“Thank you, I’ll try to get to the point and mend the damage that was done. Okay, so, I am so so sorry about what Kenji said. That was disgustingly inappropriate of him and he’ll face the appropriate consequences for his words. But that’s not the point, I just wanted to say that what he said was wrong. I do not in any shape or form see you in a romantic sense. I’m sure you would be a great partner, but certainly not for me. As I said, you are too young for me and that would be very inappropriate. I hope you can forgive what he said and know that I don’t think any of those things about you. Once again, I apologize for Kenji’s behavior.” The brown-haired star actor did a full 90-degree bow.

“That’s good, I feel the same. Such a relationship would have been… well inappropriate is an understatement. Anyways, I hope you succeed in your future endeavors but we will be leaving now.”

He lightly bowed and started walking in the other direction when Asahi talked again:

“You don’t believe me and that makes sense.” He was right. The damage was done, so Rui was not going to forgive him. It had really freaked him out to realize the guy he had been connecting with thought of him so inappropriately. And anyway, why would that guy insist on Asahi having feelings for him if it wasn’t true? Weren’t they friends? Why would he say something like that and destroy his friend’s chance if it wasn’t true? Even so, something in the purple-haired inventor made him stop in his tracks. He didn’t look at the man, simply stood there, back facing him. Nene looked at the troupe’s director curiously and so did Emu.

“Look, it’s probably gonna be hard to convince you otherwise, but I really, really don’t feel that way. I can keep saying that it’s because you’re too young, but that’s sadly never stopped some people, has it?” the Arkland actor laughed awkwardly. “Okay, there’s another reason why I don’t and will never have any romantic interest in you. I’m asexual and aromantic.”

That made Rui’s eyebrows quirk up slightly. He couldn’t say he was too familiar with such terms, he would even say he had no idea what Asahi was talking about. For all he knew, that meant nothing. The robot creator looked towards Nene who seemed just as confused.

It was Emu who voiced the question that was plaguing all of their minds:

“W-What’s that mean?” She fiddled with her fingers uncomfortably.

“It means I’m not attracted to anyone romantically or sexually. No matter their gender, age, and looks,” Asahi explained.

That intrigued Rui. Something about his words made his stomach churn and feel lightheaded. Not attracted sexually or romantically to anyone? That was impossible! In a world where red strings of fate existed, everyone had a soulmate. Perhaps Asahi had simply never felt such things yet, but would eventually meet his soulmate and discover romantic feelings. Just because he had never felt such things didn’t mean he could never feel romantic attraction to anyone. What nonsense! A dark thought came to the director’s mind; what if this adult was inventing things and lying to ease Rui’s mind and eventually try to get into his pants? Disgusting!

The purple-haired teen turned around to face the man with an unimpressed look.

Then, Tsukasa yelled:

“What? You expect us to believe that you’ve never felt any romantic feelings in your life? Don’t take us for idiots! You’re clearly lying!”

Asahi winced:

“Look, I don’t know what to tell you, but it’s the truth. Just look it up or something, I don’t know.”

Something inside Rui told him he might be right and that terrified him. But that was impossible, right? Everyone had a soulmate, that was a fact of life that he had lived by for the last 11 years. But just to be sure, the red string of fate observer did something he had promised himself to stop doing; look at the man’s pinky to see if there was a thread. He held his breath as his eyes trailed toward the brunette’s right hand. And there, on his pinky was…

Nothing.

He blinked once, twice, three times and there was still nothing. No sign of red anywhere on his pinky. Nothing. Nothing at all. No little tied string with a few centimeters pointing in some direction. No full string. Nothing.

Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing

Asahi was not lying. He really didn’t feel any romantic or sexual feelings for anyone and never will. It was indeed possible. The realization made Rui pale and his eyes blow wide. He felt extremely lightheaded and feared fainting on the spot. His entire body was frozen and every single one of his muscles was tight. He couldn’t breathe.

But he had to breathe or he would pass out.

So he tried to take calm deep breaths with more or less success. If Asahi doesn’t have a soulmate, what does that mean for me? Breathe in. I also don’t have a red string on my finger. Breathe out. Does that mean I’m aromantic and asexual? Breathe in. But I’ve felt romantic attraction before, so that can’t be right. Breathe out. So I must have a soulmate, right? Breathe in. But I don’t see my string. Breathe out. Does that mean I was wrong? Breathe in. Do I just not have a soulmate? Breathe in. Did whatever deity out there forget to give one to me? Breathe out. How cruel! Why did they do that? Breathe in. What am I saying? Of course, I wouldn’t have a soulmate. Breathe in. Who would be a creep like me’s soulmate anyways? Breathe in. Whatever deity out there was trying to not disappoint anyone. Breathe in. I deserve to be alone anyway, that’s my place in this world…

He had to get out of here. His thoughts were getting bad and he felt nausea swirl up inside of him. His emotions were clearly showing on his face and he had to suppress them right now lest anyone asks questions. The group was looking at him in concern. Rui had to undo the damage his reaction had caused and quickly.

“It’s okay Asahi, I believe you. Let’s just put this situation behind us and forget it. Anyway, I’ll be going home now. Goodbye,” he managed to say as normally as he could. He bowed quickly and turned around without looking back or waiting for an answer. The yellow-eyed boy started walking at a rapid pace, not waiting for his friends. He assumed they must have chased after him not long after he made his departure.

Everything felt like a blur. Rui didn’t know where he was going, but his feet were probably steering him in the direction of his house. He didn’t know, he felt lost. He didn’t know how long he had been in this state, but he suddenly felt an arm cling to him. The out-of-it director turned to face the person who had stopped him and saw that it had been Nene. She looked panicked and said:

“Rui, are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Of course, why do you ask?” he replied slowly.

“Because we’ve been calling your name for the past 5 minutes and you haven’t answered!” Tsukasa answered with wide scared eyes.

“Is that so, mmmh…”

"And your eyes don’t sparkle kira kira like they usually do!” He looked at the pink-haired girl. “Eek!”

Rui touched his face. He had messed up, hadn’t he? Making his friends worry, how terrible! He was really out of it. The boy with blue strands of hair put on a smile, but it felt out of place.

“Everything is okay, everyone. Don’t worry. I must just be feeling a little tired after the show, I’ll be going home now. Goodbye.” His voice fell flat. Rui turned around and started walking again. Normally, he would not leave his friends in such a cold way, but he wasn’t feeling like his normal self. Everything felt too much and like nothing at the same time.

“W-wait, Rui!” Tsukasa’s voice uttered

“Rui!” Emu yelled.

“Let me handle this. I’ll send you some news later. Get home safe!” a voice he recognized but couldn’t place anymore said. He could hear their fast steps approach him. They put their arm on him and guided him towards somewhere, he couldn’t remember. There were so many lights that everything became white.

“Rui. Rui can you hear me?” the voice said. He could now recognize it as feminine, but could still not pinpoint to whom it belonged. The boy blinked a few times and shapes started to be seen, then colors, then actual objects.

“Rui?” Nene said, voice trembling lightly.

“Mmmh?” Rui answered, out of it.

“Oh thank god, you’re finally answering me,” she sighed relieved.

“Yeah…” he said. The director saw his house up ahead and upped his pace, but Nene stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

“Wait! Tell me what’s wrong, please! You never dissociate like this in public, so what happened?” Her eyes were wide and her voice slightly higher pitched.

“Ah, that’s what happened, huh? Mmmh, that’s… not good.” Rui’s brain was slow and he was looking through her.

“It sure as hell isn’t! You scared the shit out of me!” Nene’s hands started shaking.

“Sorry bout… that…”

“Whatever, look just answer me and tell me what happened?” she said, trying to sound calm.

“It’s… Asahi,” he muttered slowly.

“Clearly!!! But what exactly tipped you off that much?” she exclaimed.

“He has no… red string.” Everything felt so distant. Was he even here?

“What?!? That’s impossible! Everyone has a soulmate, you were the one who told me that,” the girl tried to convince him.

“Well… I was wrong.”

“Are you sure you just didn’t look hard enough?” she said desperately.

“Certain…” he breathed out.

“That’s surprising… but not enough for such a reaction.”

“I… don’t have a red string.”

“You just can’t see it. That’s what you’ve told me,” she argued.

“I… was wrong…” he insisted.

“No, Rui. You just can’t see. Remember, cause that would be cheating. So, stop saying that!” she angrily replied.

“I… don’t have a soulmate.” The realization finally set in.

“That’s not-”

“I don’t have a soulmate!” He was snapped out of his trance as his eyes blew wide. It hurt, everything hurt. The realization really, really hurt. He felt like he was exploding and there was nothing he could do.

His breath hitched as he yelled his next words:

“I’m really going to end up alone! He was right, there’s no one out there for me. There’s no use denying it, a freak like me deserves to be alone anyways. Ha. Ha ha.” He pulled his arm away forcefully and ran towards his garage. He immediately locked the door and slid down to the floor. The yellow-eyed teenager put his hands in his hair and pulled hard over and over again. It didn’t help to regain control of his emotions. He could hear frantic knocking and begging coming from behind him for a little bit until the buzzing in his ears took over. The world was swaying as he remembered he had to breathe. Rui tried to take deep breaths until his vision came back to normal.

After slightly regaining control over his emotions, Rui wobbled over to the couch where his little platypus plush was sitting. He grabbed it and settled himself on the littered floor. The purple-haired director lay down and tightly hugged his plushie. The inventor eventually fell asleep in that position.

He woke up to the sound of his lock clicking and the door opening. Rui opened his eyes but didn’t bother getting up to check who it was. He felt tired even if he had slept for who knows how long.

“Rui!” his mother’s voice shrieked. He heard two pairs of footsteps run towards him and then two thuds signaling they had fallen to his level. The platypus lover saw his mother’s and Nene’s frames on their knees in front of him. He then heard sobbing and a pair of arms wrapped around him. Greyish hair brushed his face and he could feel tears on his shirt. Another emotion replaced his tired one; guilt. Rui had worried Nene by saying such self-deprecating things and running away. What a terrible friend he was.

“Rui, oh baby, it’s gonna be okay,” his mother said calmly, “Little Nene here told me about what happened today and I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to stop it. I’m glad though that your friends were there to defend you.”

He looked her in the eyes; she was worried but kept a strong and calming composure. The boy closed his eyes and felt at peace.

“Y-you r-really s-sca-are me. I-I thought y-you were g-gonna do something bad a-and there w-was no way f-for me to stop y-you,” Nene wailed. Tears were rapidly running down her cheeks as she hugged his frame tighter. She was pretty much over him and it was getting uncomfortable, so Rui decided to sit up and return the hug.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

“Don't apologize,” she answered.

They stayed like that until Nene had to go home lest she worried her parents. His mom remained with him for the rest of the night. They eventually moved to the couch and Rui rested his head on her thighs while she gently brushed his hair with her right hand. They didn’t say a word for the rest of the night; Rui had no energy to say anything and his mother knew he didn’t want to talk at the moment. The purple-haired teen fell asleep with one thought in mind:

I am soulmate less.

–

It was as if these two kept flaunting their full string at him. As Aoyagi finished his story, tears returned to the blonde seventeen-year-olds face. He got up to hug his pseudo-little brother and sobbed on his shoulder. Tsukasa kept repeating how happy he was for him over and over until he released him and took a few steps toward Shinonome. The orange-yellowish-eyed boy also hugged him, making the ginger-haired guy freeze.

“W-what are you doing?” Shinonome said aggressively.

“Hugging you, of course. You’re a part of the family now,” Tsukasa said as if that was the only logical conclusion.

“W-why are you saying it like we just got engaged? We literally just started dating, isn’t it too early to say that?” Shinonome looked shocked and flustered.

“Ah! You’re right!” The star backed away and returned to his seat next to Rui. “I don’t know why, but it really does feel like that, you know?”

“It’s probably because they were already acting like they were dating before,” Rui interjected.

“What do you mean by that?” Tsukasa asked, looking confused. The purple-haired director had forgotten that the blonde actor was oblivious and blind to anything romantic, not just about his own romantic endeavors.

“Well, our juniors here were already acting all lovey-dovey together. It was a miracle it took this long for them to actually start dating. They kept making moon eyes at each other, it was so cute!” Rui cooed teasingly.

“Hey, shut up, you weirdo,” Shinonome quipped.

“Don’t call him that!” Tsukasa defended him.

“Akito… apologize.” Aoyagi intervened.

“I apologize for my harsh words. But don’t act like you’re much better. ‘It’s a miracle it took this long’, I don’t wanna hear that shit from you,” the angry junior sassed.

“Eh?” Tsukasa said.

Rui subtly glared at the ginger-haired junior. There was no need to bring up his situation, this wasn’t about him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he faked innocence.

“As if!” The carrot-haired boy rolled his eyes.

“You’re wrong. I am not blind and oblivious like you. I simply cannot act for many reasons. You know nothing of my situation, so let’s not bring it up, shall we?” he said with a fake smile. Shinonome glared at him but backed off. That was good, Rui didn’t want to talk about this anymore.

“What was that all about? What are you two even talking about?” Tsukasa asked.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it. Now, shall we finish our lunch? The bell will ring soon,” the eccentric director proposed.

The rest of the lunch period passed without incident. The two juniors stayed with them and ate their lunches. Aoyagi inquired about their last show and Tsukasa was happy to answer his every question. Rui sometimes added a few details to the enthusiastic boy’s speeches. The bell rang and the four teenagers separated to go to their respective classes.

Chapter Text

The rest of the day sadly passed way too slowly. He didn’t have any more ideas for the troupe’s next performance so he decided to put away his show notebook and actually take out the one for his class. Rui didn’t actually write anything down that had to do with the course being given, no sir. Instead, he created a derivative problem for himself, recalled what he had leaned on discrete mathematics just for fun, started writing down his observations on the flowers he could see in the garden from the windows, and eventually started doodling. He should have never let his mind stray away from science topics because he had started to sketch Tsukasa unconsciously. It was frankly not his best drawing. Rui was talented at designing plans for future creations in realistic details, architecture buildings, and anatomical figures in all their complexities, but not drawing cartoonish or even pretty things. He was very good at capturing the little details so his figures looked more like a picture than a drawing. 

But today, his mind was too distracted, so his drawing looked horrible. Not cartoonish, not realistic, just a mess. The genius inventor had never been able to draw Tsukasa in a way that captured him perfectly anyways, but his doodles today were subpar. He quickly blackened the drawing and actually tried to focus on class but his heart kept torturing him. 

His star looked so beautiful today. He blushed wonderfully when Rui teased him; from the tip of his ears all the way to his neck. What a kissable sight! If the purple-haired boy had kissed him right there, that morning when the bright actor grabbed his hands or on the rooftop after Rui had stolen a piece of his lunch, how red would the wonderful blonde have turned? And when they pulled away, how would Tsukasa have said his name? Softly or more with shock? Would the lovely teen have pulled him for another one?

He bit the inside of his cheek until he could taste blood. Rui needed to stop this train of thought fast and actually focus on something else before he could get his hopes up again. The director reminded himself of how this wouldn’t work and that this sort of happiness would be temporary, but his heart refused to listen to reason as it usually did. His last ditch attempt at controlling his feelings was to remind himself that Tsukasa had a soulmate out there. That made his thoughts worse and full of blonde hair and bright smiles. 

Oh, but what if he never finds them and stays with me forever,  his heart said.

Stop deluding yourself,  his brain replied.

The bell finally rang. He packed his things and ran out of the door. The yellow-eyed high schooler went to see Nene first since she was usually faster than Tsukasa at packing her things. She was almost done by the time he arrived, so he entered and greeted her. Rui also said hello to Aoyagi as well since he was a nice junior. 

“Nene, are you ready for our brainstorming session?” The greyish-haired girl rolled her eyes at his overexcitement. How could she blame him, these sessions were some of the most exciting parts of the process, along with the creation of the props, creation of the costumes, planning for rehearsals, the rehearsals themselves, the show itself… Well, everything was exciting!

“Geez, why are you so early? The bell pretty much just rang, you know. Give me a few minutes, can you?” Nene went back to packing.

“Yes, yes… Anyways, how was your day? And what did you study for during the lunch break?” he asked, curious. She never studied during lunch, so this must have been an emergency.

“Ugh, today was such a hassle! We had a science test during the fourth period and I hadn’t studied enough. I totally failed it! Why can’t I have your superhuman memory?” the diva whined.

“Fufu~ Should have been born me then,” he teased. She glared at him and took her bag. The greyish-haired girl walked away, not waiting for him, and passed the door. Of course, the purple menace followed her while laughing and went toward Tsukasa’s classroom. 

Usually, after Nene was done packing, the star was pretty much done doing the same and almost one step out of the door. Today, a group of girls was waiting in front of the entrance to the class and blocked them. The door was slightly opened so Rui could see inside and hear what was happening. Tsukasa was near his desk, stuff still not entirely put away, and up from his chair. In front of him was a girl with long black hair that looked like she wanted to say something, but was too nervous to utter a word. The blonde actor looked confused, but ready to hear her out. One of the girls that had stopped them smugly stood in front of Rui and said:

“You guys can’t go in there. Aya is going to confess to her crush right now, so watch quietly.” She looked at Rui with a disgusted look. “And, you, creep, are not going to stop her. Just because you have a gross crush on Tenma doesn’t mean he’s going to end up with you. Aya deserves to be with the boy she likes, okay! He will for sure accept her confession because he should feel blessed to have a girl like her confess to him,” the mean girl proudly said, quiet enough so that the people inside couldn’t hear her. 

“S-seriously?” Nene whispered next to him. Rui was not bothered by her speech at all. This person was clearly in love with this Aya girl, as proven by her full red string leading to said black-haired teen. She was probably some repressed homosexual trying to push away her feelings for a cute girl by encouraging her to confess to her ‘crush’. Like that was going to work. These two would end up together eventually, there was no running away from fate. Rui looked at her with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Is that so? Are you so certain Tsukasa won’t reject her? After all, they barely know each other,” Rui said with his cat-like smile.

“Tch, who cares about that little detail? He probably fell for her beauty the moment he laid eyes on her. If he rejects her, then he is a fool who deserves to be alone,” the girl retorted with utmost confidence.

“You should watch your words on what you say about him.” The director’s smile dropped and he could feel his silent anger burning.

“M-maybe we should just watch what happens?” another girl interjected and grabbed her friend’s arm.

“Fine!” the hot-headed girl huffed.

“Well, let’s enjoy the show then. Fufu~” Rui said.

They turned their attention back to the scene. The girl with black hair had her hands to her heart and had started shaking. Tsukasa had one eyebrow quirked in question; it seemed they had barely interacted before this, as Rui had predicted. 

“Hey, Arataka, why did you want to talk to me? I mean, I would never turn down a nice request from my nice classmate so if there’s anything you need, just ask. But, it’s just that my friends are waiting for me to go to our rehearsal and you’ve been standing here for a long time, so…” 

“Um, Tenma. I-I wanted to say that I really like watching your shows. I go to see them as much as I can and I think you shine as bright as the star you always proclaim you are,” she stuttered, blushing intensely. Tsukasa was shocked but he smiled brightly.

“Wow! Are you one of my fans? I’m so glad you like our shows. It is only natural that a star such as myself shine on the stage as you say. Ha ha ha! So, do you want an autograph? Is that why you wanted to talk to me? I would be glad to do so!” he boasted.

“Um, actually, I wanted to talk to you because of something else.” she paused and took a deep breath. Tsukasa looked at her with anticipation, not knowing that the girl was about to confess. He probably thought she was going to ask for a handshake or something stupid that fans always want when meeting celebrities. So innocent! “Tenma, I like you! I think you’re super cool on stage and while talking about the stuff you like. I think you’re handsome and I like your hair. I really like you, so will you go out with me?” the audacious young woman said while closing her eyes and bowing. She was out of breath and still shaking. The air in the room was tense as Tsukasa started to understand her words. To say he was shocked was an understatement. Rui could see the gears turning in his head as he finally processed everything. 

The star suddenly turned red and said:

“Y-you like me?!? Like in a romantic sense?!?” His eyes were wide.

“Yes,” she answered and looked up at him. The girl had a look of fake confidence as she said her word. It was silent as Tsukasa formed a response. He was looking at her intently as if discerning if this was a joke or not. 

“I-I’m sorry! I don’t think I feel the same!” the magnificent blonde boy said with guilt in his eyes and bowed profusely. 

“You… don’t think? So could that mean that you might like me? What if I give you time to think about it then?” she asked and tried to look hopeful. Her stance was dejected even as she said such unconvinced words.

“Umm, I-I don’t know. I mean, I barely know you and we don’t talk, so I don’t think my answer will change in a few days. I’m sure you're a lovely lady and that a person that goes out with you will be lucky!” he said apologetically.

“So, please give me a chance. I can change your mind, please,” she sounded desperate. Rui couldn’t help but feel bad. He had a feeling that she didn’t like Tsukasa, but this other girl who was her soulmate. She probably just wanted to push away her feelings too by latching on to the first guy that caught her eyes, or maybe she thought his star would be an easy catch. What a fool! Rui changed his mind; she didn’t deserve Tsukasa if she thought of him that way, so he had no pity. His shiny star had made the right decision by rejecting her, she would have just played with his heart and hurt him. Unforgivable! Rui’s anger returned. 

“I’m really, really sorry, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. I feel like we are not meant to go out together. There’s probably someone out there that’s better for you and likes you. I’m sorry,” he apologized again, which he shouldn’t. 

“Is it because you like someone else?” she asked with a trembling voice.

“W-what?!? I-I don’t have feelings for anyone!” he said (sadly) truthfully. Well, with as much truth as he believed since he was still oblivious to his feelings thankfully. 

“Tell me the truth. Do you have feelings for Ka-” Okay, this was his cue to intervene. Rui was not about to let this little brat destroy his efforts at keeping Tsukasa out of the loop of his feelings. No sir. He was not ready to lose him yet, or ever. The purple-haired boy pushed aside the girls that were blocking his path and slammed the door wider. 

He put on a cheerful smile and said:

“Hey, Tsukasa! You’re awfully late, you know.”

“R-Rui!” He looked like he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. The other girl looked at him in horror, like he was her worst nightmare. And he should be! She should watch her back if she thinks she had a chance of getting a sliver of affection from his star. Who did she think she was? She was not even all that great with her mediocre looks and bland shy girl personality. Tsukasa needed excitement in his life, not… that. His star deserved the best, someone perfect, someone who would understand and love him without remorse, someone who would never hurt him, someone with purple hair and a cat-like grin, someone…

Wait! What was he thinking? Why did he just have a jealous tangent about someone he couldn’t be with? Also, such possessiveness was not cool. It was actually kind of creepy and he should stop right there. He mentally kicked himself.

“Nene’s waiting for us. We should probably head to PXL before Emu starts getting bored and order some cotton candy or something. Rehearsal would be a pain if she were to get a sugar rush. Nene would be mad at us too. Fufu~” He glanced to the side at the person next to the blonde teen. The girl tensed and her eyes were blown wide. She practically jumped away from his star out of fear of angering him. Good. “Oh, who’s this? Did I interrupt something?” Rui asked innocently.

“Ah, um, this is Arataka. She’s just a classmate and she wanted to talk to me about something. A-anyways, we should get going as you say.” Tsukasa turned to the girl with a guilty smile. “Goodbye, Arataka, and I’m sorry about what I said.” He quickly packed his thinks and walked towards Rui in a rush. “Let’s go.” 

They left the girl alone in the classroom as she watched them go. Rui glanced backward and smiled smugly at her to tell her that she never had a chance. It was good that she learned her place. Poor girl. Tsukasa saw that there were a few people waiting at the door. 

“Eh? Why are there so many people here?” he asked confused. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Nene said while glaring at Rui pointedly. He looked at her with an innocent smile and they walked off. The director could feel the glare from that one girl directed at the two boys but ignored her happily. The group of girls entered the room where weak sobs could be heard. They were probably comforting their friend when the girl that had stopped Rui and that mean girl’s fight earlier said:

“Well, it seems like you really didn’t have a chance. After all, Tenma only has eyes for Kamishiro…” 

He quietly laughed and Tsukasa looked at him weirdly.

“Well, what were you talking about with that classmate earlier?” Rui asked.

Tsukasa turned red and looked elsewhere.

“N-nothing,” he said with a high-pitched voice.

“Is that so? Fufu~” Rui looked at him fondly. Nene rolled her eyes and made them up their pace. 

They arrived at Phoenix Wonderland and Emu tackled them in a hug. She also kissed her girlfriend/soulmate to which said girl blushed brightly and said:

“E-Emu!” 

The pink-haired girl giggled.

“Yay! You guys are here! Let’s go to Sekai and start our super duper awesome brainstorming session!” The high-energy sixteen-year-old pulled out her phone and played  The World Hasn’t Even Started Yet. Colorful triangles flooded their vision and a new scenery appeared. Colors were everywhere, amusement park rides and plushies were in front of them. Soon, a teal-haired girl ran toward them along with other colorful-haired ‘people’. Miku jumped on them one by one to show her joy and the others cheered at their arrival. 

KAITO said:

“Miku, calm down. Let them breathe a little. I know you’re happy to see them, but let’s leave them a little space, okay?” 

“Awwww, but I like hugging them…” the starry-eyed girl pouted. 

Emu hugged her.

“Don’t be sad, Miku! I’ll hug you as much as you want.”

“Yay!!!” The twin-tailed girl hugged her back. 

They eventually settled down and decided to enter the tent where the stage was at. They all sat down on the platform in a circle and MEIKO said:

“Oh, is it time to plan a new show?”

“Yeah!!! It’s time to have a Wonderhoy brainstorming session. Can you guys help us?” Emu exclaimed.

“Of course, we’d be happy to help as much as we can,” KAITO said with his big brother voice. 

“Brainstorming, start!” Miku yelled and fist-pumped the air. 

Rui took out his show notebook. He opened it to the right page and started explaining:

“So, I had a couple of ideas. The first one is an adaptation of Alice in Wonderland with Emu as Alice.” He continued to explain his idea briefly and everyone was listening intently.

“That sounds like a super Wonderhoy idea Rui!” Emu had stars in her eyes and was shaking from excitement. “We should totally do it!”

“Yeah!” Rin said.

“You don’t seem satisfied with that idea though,” Tsukasa remarked and everyone turned to him. 

“Well, it’s not that it’s a bad idea. I think we should do it, but not right now. Maybe eventually. That’s where my second idea comes into play.” He then explained his original show idea in as much detail as possible.

“That’s a wonderful idea! Truly fit for a star such as myself. As expected of our troupe director!” Tsukasa praised.

“Wonderhoy Rui!” Emu exclaimed.

Everyone praised his idea.

“Umm, I like the idea, but I feel like it’s missing something,” Nene criticized.

“I know right, let’s make it more dramatic,” Emu exclaimed.

“I thought it was pretty dramatic like that,” Tsukasa said.

“Ooh, I know! Let’s make it so that the alchemist falls in love with the knight instead of just befriending him. Like not because the knight intends to do that,” Emu proposed

“I like that!” Rin said.

“Oh and how about you make it so the alchemist is living a sad lonely life in his tower alone at first, but he gets visibly more happy and free as the knight visits. Like really sell the falling in love bit,” Len suggested. 

“That’s such a good idea! We could add a scene where the alchemist is so happy to see the knight that he starts to sing a song and grabs the knight to dance. Then they waltz together for a bit,” Emu continued.

“So cute!!!” MEIKO commented.

“Oh, we could add something deeper to the alchemist’s backstory. Instead of him having been banned because of an accident, how about we make it so that he’s banned because he used to date the prince, but the queen disapproved.” Tsukasa said.

“Go on…” Rui wanted him to elaborate. 

“W-well, what if we make it so that the queen had two children; a boy and a girl? The prince was the eldest and the next in line for the throne. He met the alchemist who was working in the castle since he was a prodigy in his field. They became fast friends and eventually fell in love. But the queen wanted the prince to marry a princess from another kingdom to form an alliance. So when she found out that the two were together, she banned the prince from seeing the alchemist and made him marry the princess. The alchemist was soon banned from the kingdom as punishment for going behind the queen’s back,” Tsukasa suggested.

Everyone was impressed by the idea and looked at him with shining eyes. 

“T-That’s such a good idea, Tsukasa!!! Wonderhoy!!!” Emu yelled and hugged him. The Virtual Singers all voiced their agreement and praise.

“Ha ha ha! Of course, a star such as myself has such brilliant ideas,” Tsukasa boasted. 

“We can keep the betrayal at the end to make it extra tragic,” Nene added. 

“It seems your ideas are coming to light. This will make for an incredible show, I am certain,” KAITO said with pride. 

“Wahhhh! Rui’s character would be in love with Tsukasa’s! That’s so awesome.” Miku approached him and nudged him. Tsukasa was blushing furiously.

“Would you two be okay with that?” KAITO asked. 

“I-I mean. A star like me will have many roles such as these in the future. If it’s for the sake of a good show, I can do anything,” Tsukasa proudly said.

Rui had mostly just listened to the ideas and written down everything. He was getting nervous about the many problems there were with this change in direction. He voiced his first concern:

“This is all good, but we are performing in front of children, so I’m pretty sure we cannot do that.”

“What do you mean?” Tsukasa asked, always oblivious.

“Well, my character will be a man in love with another man. Not just one, but two. I don’t think a lot of parents will want to make their children watch such a play. Emu’s brothers will probably refuse the idea,” Rui challenged. This was certainly not his only concern. Just the fact that his character was in love with Tsukasa’s was already a big one. It was not going to be difficult to act it out, far from it. He simply had to act naturally; easy. The problem was that his heart sometimes liked to create fantasies for itself and get its hopes up. If the orange-yellowish-eyed boy and he started dancing the waltz together, his heart was sure to act up. He would surely mess up or worse, think of it as real. This was a stage dance, not a real romantic one! But his heart never seemed to listen to logic when it came to Tsukasa. If it had, he would not be shoulder deep in love with this young man knowing he couldn’t have him. They would simply be friends without any other feelings and Rui would be satisfied. But in this reality, the purple-haired boy was too soft and had never managed to push his feelings away. 

“Well, if that’s your issue, then I can ask my brothers when we have the script. I’m pretty sure they won’t mind,” Emu tried to reassure him.

Nene looked at him with a pitying look. 

“Rui… You know, things have changed a lot since that accident. LGBTQ+ people are far more accepted than before and I can tell you from experience. The influence of the West has also helped in this change in mentality,” Nene said softly.

“What accident?” Tsukasa inquired.

Rui didn’t want to think about the accident.

–

Rui Kamishiro had been nine when he started ignoring the strings.

After almost a year of having the same teacher that hated him, Rui was glad to finally be in third grade. He was still ostracized by his peers for his ‘weird’ hobbies, but the school year was already looking better than the last. His teacher was a nice man with round glasses and black eyes. He was a nerdy little man who liked talking about plants, so Rui and he got along pretty well.

Since he and Nene were in different classes, the purple-haired child had no one to hang out with during class. She had also joined the theater club, which Rui was banned from joining because of the many dangerous stunts he had pulled, and she had made new friends. His neighbor still hung out with him during some breaks and on weekends, but most of the time, the little third grader was alone. It made him quite sad that they weren’t hanging out as much as they used to, but the almost decade-old boy was happy for his friend. Nene deserved to have all the friends she desired since she was such an awesome person, even if that meant that Rui was pushed to the side a little. 

That was the reason he grew close to his teacher, Mr. Hanabusa. During breaks, they would often talk about different flowers they had seen and facts they had learned. Rui listened to all the different information his teacher rattled on about with great attention and added some of his own. The educator was impressed with his vast collection of knowledge and even learned a few facts from Rui as well. The purple-haired child discovered that his favorite teacher was from a family of rice farmers and that his dream had been to inherit the plot of land he lived in when he was younger, but that his older brother had gotten it, unwillingly at that. That’s why he became a teacher instead; he had no other passion in life and decided that he wanted to share his knowledge with the youth. 

Rui had come to trust that teacher greatly. They didn’t only talk about different plants, they also talked about other random things. The child shared with him his other passions such as robots and shows, and talked about his personal life and sometimes his problems. 

That’s how he came to tell him about the red strings. Mr. Hanabusa was the first and only adult that had believed him. At first, the man had been skeptical, asking a lot of questions about his quirk that Rui tried his best to answer with the knowledge he had acquired by himself. Then, after the could-have-been rice farmer had deemed his questions answered, his teacher had told him he believed him. Rui had been taken aback but had been overwhelmed by the joy that someone didn’t think he was lying about this. 

That’s what led to a conversation that would eventually change his life. 

“I wonder when Ryosuke and Emiko will end up together. Their string is so bright and full, it’s super cute! I heard Emiko telling her friends about her crush on Ryosuke, so I hope she confesses soon. I don’t know about Ryosuke’s feelings, but I’m sure he feels the same or will eventually,” Rui said casually during one of their lunch break conversations.

“Is that so?”

“Yes! They are soulmates! To think these two would find each other so soon. They’re so lucky,” Rui squealed. “But they’re still not together. It’s so frustrating seeing Emiko try to get closer to him but being too shy to do much and blushing, and Ryosuke being oblivious to it all! Like, can’t he see that she likes him? It’s super obvious. I wish there was something I could do to nudge them in the right direction.” 

 “Hmm, well, how about we help them? I could seat them next to each other during the next seat change and you could encourage Emiko to confess since she’s your desk neighbour. Try bringing it up to her if you hear her talk about it with her friends. I’m sure she’ll be grateful,” his teacher suggested, looking at him fondly.

“Ah, I don’t think it will be a good idea. Um, it’s just that I’m pretty sure Emiko and her friends think I’m weird just like everybody else does. They probably won’t listen to me and think I’m even weirder.” Rui’s mood changed a little. He hated that everyone thought of him as some weird kid. The little troublemaker just wanted to make shows, talk about his passions and make many friends. That wasn’t weird, right?

“What if you explain your little string quirk to them, I’m sure that they will believe you. And besides, that might not even happen and maybe they don’t think that way, you never know. Didn’t you want to help them?” his teacher challenged.

“O-okay, maybe I’ll do what you suggested,” Rui conceded hesitantly. 

A few days later, the yellow-eyed kid was sitting at his desk reading a book on native plants during his lunch break and saw that Emiko was also sitting at her desk talking to her friends. They were teasing her and she was blushing. They were talking about Emiko’s crush.

“Come on, Emi. Just confess to him already!” one of her friends laughed.

“B-but, what if he doesn’t like me back,” she said while covering her face.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not true! He for sure likes you back. Just do it!” the same friend said.

Rui knew that this was his time to shine. He wanted to help these two get together, so he took a deep breath and interjected:

“U-umm, I think you should confess to Ryosuke too, Emiko.”

The whole group turned to face him with weirded-out looks. Rui shrank in his seat and tried to make himself as tiny as possible. They glared at him for speaking to them as if he was lower than dirt. He was still not used to those kinds of eyes, so he looked away nervously.

“Why are you talking to us, weirdo?” a girl aggressively said.

“Yeah,” another agreed.

“I-I’m sorry! I just couldn’t help but overhear your conversation and thought you needed encouragement. Umm, Emiko, you really should confess to him. It’s not about if he likes you or not, it’s more because you guys are soulmates,” he justified rapidly.

“Eh? What are you talking about? Soulmates? What are we, five?” some girl shaded. The others laughed at him, but he somehow wasn’t deterred.

“It’s true! You really are soulmates! I know because I can see your full red string of fate attached to each other’s pinky,” Rui rambled. 

“Pfft, what a load of bologna, let’s get out of here so we don’t get interrupted by this weirdo again,” a girl said snarkily. The friend group got up and was about to leave when Emiko looked at him and stopped them.

“W-wait! Rui, can you tell me more about this soulmate thing?” She looked at him with a determined look. She believed him! He got through to her! Rui wanted to cheer right then and there but stopped himself.

“Emi, you can’t be serious. Are you really gonna listen to such crazy ramblings?” one of her friends exclaimed.

“Yeah. I think he’s telling the truth and I want to know more,” she defended. The others rolled their eyes and turned away.

“Whatever, we’ll see you later,” what seemed to be the leader of their pack said.

They finally left and Emiko turned to him and asked with a smile:

“So, can you tell me more about this whole red string of fates thing?”

He happily explained everything he knew. They talked until the bell rang signaling the next class. The little matchmaker ended up being able to convince her to confess to Ryosuke that day after school. She would ask after class to meet him near the cherry tree in the yard. It would be super romantic and Rui was certain this would work. He asked her to tell him how it went tomorrow in detail and bid her good luck. 

The next day, there were rumors that Emiko and Ryosuke had started going out. It made Rui super happy to know that everything seemed to have gone well. He arrived in class and smiled when he saw Ryosuke and Emiko talking at her desk. They were both smiling and blushing, it was too cute! 

He went to sit down at his desk and Emiko saw him. She smiled brightly at him and walked towards him.

“Rui! You were right! I’m so glad you pushed me to confess! Thank you so, so much!” She hugged him and he hugged her back. 

“Hehe, I’m so happy for you! You guys are perfect for each other.” He pulled away and saw that Ryosuke was glaring daggers at him. Emiko’s boyfriend approached them aggressively and pushed him lightly away from his girlfriend.

“Hey, get away from my girl!” he said in a deeper voice to try and sound macho. It didn’t work since he still looked small and unintimidating with his nine-year-old stature. It made Rui want to laugh at his face, but he kept it in.

“Ryosuke!” Emiko said in shock. “Don’t do that to Rui. He’s the reason I confessed to you in the first place. He convinced me that we were soulmates and I know he was telling the truth. We should be thankful to him.” 

“Whatever…” the guy grumbled. Rui laughed softly at his display of jealousy that was seriously misplaced. 

“Oh, Emiko! I forgot to tell you. The teacher said he was going to place you two next to each other during the next seat change. He said he would do that after I told him about how you two are soulmates.” the soulmate observer said happily.

“Really?” Her eyes lit up. “That’s awesome!” 

“Is that so? I guess I can let what you just did slide for now. Just don’t touch my girl like that again.” the boyfriend rumbled.

“Ha ha! Don’t worry, Ryosuke! There’s no one else that Emiko likes more than you,” Rui convinced him.

Class started and they went back to their seats. During the next break, he heard rumors about him. This time, they weren’t bad at all. They were saying that he could see the red strings of fate and how cool that was. People were speculating on who their soulmates were and wondering if they should ask him

During his lunch break, the purple-haired elementary schooler met up with Mr. Hanabusa. He told him all about what had happened in great detail and his teacher looked smug, as if he had set this all up. His teacher was happy for him and told him that this might help him make new friends soon. Rui perked up excitedly at the prospect. New friends! How wonderful that would be! He wouldn’t have to spend some of his breaks alone reading books or fiddling with his robots. The lonely child could talk to real people his age that wasn't just Nene. He couldn’t wait.

The next day, a few girls came to see him and to talk about his quirk. They asked plenty of questions which he happily answered. He told them about the direction of their soulmate. The girls all happily gushed about who they imagined their soulmate to be and how handsome ‘he’ will be. They hypothesised on who it might be and Rui added his own comments. 

The day after that, more girls came to see him and ask about the strings. And the next. And the next. He had become popular at school overnight. Rui was so happy to have so many new friends to talk to. Most of their strings were short, so he could only tell them the general direction of their soulmates. On the occasion that the string was full, they went on a manhunt to see who was their soulmates. It was the most fun Rui had had in a little bit. Everything in his life was going well.

That was until one day he was approached by a girl called Yaeko. She was a very popular fourth grader at school whom all of the boys liked. She had long straight brown hair and black piercing eyes. This girl was usually really mean to Rui, spreading nasty rumors about him, berating him in his face, and occasionally being physical. She once pushed him hard on a desk and kicked him. Everyone had laughed at him that day. He was afraid of her. When she approached his desk during a lunch break, the robot maker tensed up and made himself as small as possible. 

Yaeko sneered at him and said:

“I heard you can see people’s soulmates, is that right?”

“Y-yes,” he said with a high-pitched mouse voice. 

“Hmpf, then tell me this. So, I like Katashi. It’s not like I don’t think he likes me back, I just want some confirmation. Of course, when I confess to him, he’ll be on his knees crying with joy and wondering how in the world such a pretty girl ended up liking him. Anyways, just tell me that he’s my soulmate and let’s get this over with,” she said arrogantly.

The genius boy was uncomfortable. Not only because it was the mean Yaeko in front of him, but because of what she said. To think a girl like her also liked Katashi. Not that Rui expected any less since Katashi was a popular sporty guy in his class whom all the girls liked. He was athletic and charismatic. His hair was beautiful and he looked like a Greek god in Rui’s child's eyes. The purple-haired nine-year-old often stared at him during class just because the guy was pretty. His laugh made Rui’s heart race fast and he liked the way his eyes looked like little forest nuts. 

Of course, Yaeko, the most popular girl, would like Katashi, the most popular guy. It made sense. But it made Rui’s heart hurt a little. He also liked Katashi. But Katashi certainly didn’t like him. The plant enjoyer knew Katashi found him weird and made fun of him often. He had sometimes locked him in a headlock which had made Rui blush. It was not meant to have that effect, they certainly wanted to torment him, but the little inventor couldn’t help it. He had a crush on the guy, it wasn’t his fault. Rui had tried to push his feelings away for a while now, but it seemed that like most things in his life, when he liked something (or in this case someone), he obsessed over it. It was hard for him to get over it. Even Katashi’s small red string that had almost never pointed in his direction couldn’t convince him to stop feeling that way. 

At least it was still small and not leading to Yaeko.

“Um, Katashi isn’t your soulmate. Sorry. But I can tell you who your soulmate really is if you want.” Rui calmly said every one of his words. Yaeko’s string was very much full, but didn’t lead to her ‘crush’. Instead, it was attached to a shy girl in his class, Yuri. 

“What did you just say?” she keenly hissed. Her eyes were sharp and Rui knew he had messed up.

“I-I’m sorry!” he apologized profusely, scared for his life. 

“Did I just hear you say that Katashi was not my soulmate? I must have heard wrong, right?” she said menacingly and slammed her hands on his desk, making him flinch hard. 

“Eek!” he cried but didn’t say anything more.

“Oh, I get it. You don’t want to tell me the truth, don’t you? It’s because you want him all for yourself, is that right? You like him, don’t you? As if Katashi would like a guy, never mind you. He’s not a freak of nature like you, so stop trying to ogle him to yourself.” She gritted her teeth and glared at him. 

“N-no! This isn’t why I’m saying this, I swear! Your soulmate really is someone else and it’s Yuri,” he said super fast and with fear in his voice. The small third grader was trembling and felt like disappearing. 

“You- you little liar! As if my soulmate could ever be a girl. Don’t you see that I’m a girl? My soulmate has to be a boy, that’s how it works. I’m not like you! I’m not unnatural! EW! Ew ew ew! Gross!!!” she spat loudly. It caused a scene and everyone in the classroom turned to look at them. “Oh, I see how it is. You made up this soulmate thing so that I could come to you in my time of need and be humiliated like this. What have I ever done to you to be lied to like this?” she sneered. Well, she had done many things to deserve being humiliated and stuff, but that wasn’t what he was trying to do here. But he was frozen in fear and couldn’t tell her that. Rui had stopped breathing as he saw the pointed stares and nasty whispers aimed at him. Everyone was looking at him in disgust, even his ‘friends’. Their eyes were telling him that they regretted ever associating with him and had stopped believing that he could see the strings. They must have thought that he had made it all up for attention and lied to them. It hurt to see, but there was nothing he could do anymore. How one person had managed to sully his reputation with a few sentences was impressive. Well, Yaeko was well-liked and pretty while Rui was hated and a weirdo. Just because people had started to like him didn’t mean they would take his side when faced with the all-mighty Yaeko. 

“You’ll see what happens when you humiliate me, Kamishiro. You’ll regret this!” She slapped him hard and walked away angrily. That shook him out of his shock and he stood up to go to the bathroom. The stares and whispers followed him as he left and seemed to follow him all the way there too. They kept swirling in his head as he went to a stall and collapsed. Rui sobbed as the bell rang. He was alone with his thoughts and tears kept running down his cheeks. This was it, he was going to return to being alone. Yaeko would ensure it, he knew. She would do anything to make his life a living hell. The poor boy had done nothing to deserve this though! He only told her the truth and now, he would be punished for it.

After what felt like an eternity, Rui heard the door open and steps coming toward his stall. He muffled his sobs and stopped his breathing, hoping the person would leave him alone. He had no such luck. 

“Rui, are you there?” He heard an adult voice call softly to him. 

“N-no,” he said unconvincingly. 

His teacher laughed softly.

“Is that so? Well, I heard about what happened during lunch from the others. Sure, it was an exaggerated version of the story, I’m certain, but I got the gist of it. I know you were telling the truth to Yaeko and she overreacted. I’ll be sure to relay what she did to her teacher so that she gets the proper punishment. Now, can you come out and go back to class with me?” Mr. Hanabusa asked.

“N-no. I can’t go back. They’ll stare and whisper mean things again,” Rui cried. 

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen, okay? You’ll be safe, I’ll ensure it. Nothing bad will happen. So, will you come back?” his teacher reassured.

“O-okay.” He opened the stall door and his teacher looked at him with pity. The man opened his arms as an invitation for a hug and Rui launched himself at him and sobbed. After a few minutes, the boy calmed down and washed his face so that it looked less red. They went back to class and as the teacher had promised, there were no whispers of stares. Mr. Hanabusa protected him from the mean people in his class. 

At least, he did for that day. Mr. Hanabusa was only one man and a teacher. He could only do so much. 

The next day, Rui was changing his shoes at the locker when he heard loud aggressive steps coming towards him. He turned towards the person in fear and saw that it was Katashi. His eyes had an angry flame in them that sent bad shivers down Rui’s spine and his teeth were intensely gritted. The popular boy grabbed Rui’s shirt tightly and slammed him on the locker door harshly with a bang. He felt the pain through his entire back resonating. The yellow-eyed child closed his eyes in pain and squeaked.

“What is your problem, freak? You think you can just do that? Stare at me like a creep,” the guy Rui liked angrily yelled. He slammed him again. “You’re disgusting. You like me? You’re a guy, that’s extremely gross. As if I would ever like guys. Now people think I’m into you and that’s extra gross,” he gagged. The boy getting victimized breathed heavily, scared as to what the other was going to do. Katashi let one of his hands off his shirt and punched him square in the jaw. The boy dropped him on the floor and Rui grasped at his jaw in pain. The now bruised boy tried to escape but got kicked in the stomach. He used his hands to cover his face as the popular boy kicked him again and again. The little inventor screamed in pain, but no one helped him. Eventually, after an eternity, the kicking stopped and Rui felt something wet in his hair. It seemed that Katashi had decided to add one more insult to injury and had spat on him. 

“As if anyone could like a freak like you.” The words resonated in his head as the people in the corridors laughed at his state.

Rui, with tears in his eyes, ran to the bathroom again and cried. He washed the spit off of his hair the best that he could and calmed himself. The poor boy didn’t want to go to class, but he knew he would be safe. Mr. Hanabusa had said nothing bad would happen to him and he was always right. 

So, he walked into class, but his teacher wasn’t there yet. Rui saw the stares and the whispers aimed at him as he sat down on his chair. They were so loud, it was unbearable. It made his hands shake and his eyes look fearful. 

He saw Emiko who was talking to her boyfriend. She greeted him happily and returned to her conversation. Rui opened a book on discrete mathematics to distract himself from all the noise around him. It was going well until a girl slammed her hands on his desk and snatched his book. The purple-haired boy looked up, scared, and saw that the girl had a mean look on her face. 

“So, you lied to us, huh? You tried to get our attention with this soulmate business to get us roped in your dangerous little stunts, huh?” she spat. 

Emiko had heard her words and looked shocked. She left her conversation and interjected:

“What are you saying? Rui would never do that. He really can see the strings.” 

“Emi, why are you defending him? Don’t you know he tried to humiliate Yaeko and that he’s… you know. He likes boys.” her boyfriend whispered, disgusted. 

“What?” she replied, indignant.

“Yeah, so stop defending that weirdo. You should hang out with better people like me anyways,” Ryosuke said. 

Rui sighed as he saw that if Emiko kept defending him, it would hurt her relationship with her soulmate. He would never want that for her. The yellow-eyed child had helped her get to this point, so he didn’t want them to fight over him of all people.

“Emiko, it’s fine. You shouldn’t be defending someone like me.”

“But, you don’t deserve people being mean to you. You helped me get with my soulmate-”

“It’s okay. I appreciate your sentiment, but I think you shouldn’t talk to me anymore. Your reputation might take a turn. Besides, you have your boyfriend now and I would hate for you to have problems because of me,” he said sadly. 

“See, he admits that he’s a weirdo,” the girl in front of him snarled.

“Emi, let’s just leave him alone,” Ryosuke added.

“O-okay…” she answered with pity. Emiko glanced at him one last time and went back to talking to her boyfriend. The other girl was about to rip him a new one, but the bell rang.

Rui was saved by the bell, but not for long. The stares and whispers continued during his breaks, when he walked through the corridors, outside in the yard, and sometimes even during class. As the days went on, the whispers became louder and the stares more mean. Some kids went as far as to kick him, toss him around, break his stuff, write mean things on his desk and locker, spit on him… He was often bruised and bleeding. The bullying victim told his teacher about everything and the man was appalled. Mr. Hanabusa went directly to the administration about the problem, but they refused to do anything about it. They said that the kids were just playing, that Rui had provoked them, or that he deserved it. The teacher had been furious at them but could do nothing more to make the situation stop completely. Mr. Hanabusa could only punish the children that bullied Rui when he saw them, but he wasn’t always there to catch them.

Yaeko and Katashi were never punished for their actions.

Rui’s parents had seen that their son come back from school hurt and knew he was being bullied. They also went to the administration about it but were not taken seriously either. The Kamishiro’s had yelled at the school, calling them incompetent and cruel to their son, but were rapidly reminded that he was lucky to not have been kicked out for his many previous dangerous stunts. There was nothing that they could do about the bullying except comfort their son and bandage his wounds. They could also do nothing as their son’s eyes slowly lost their light.

The event that finally made the Kamishiros act was when they were at the doctor's. After three and a half years, they had still not found a singular doctor who took their case about Rui seeing the strings seriously. The parents had not abandoned their mission yet, so that was why they were there in the first place. They explained the story for the millionth time to an unimpressed doctor who told them it was nothing.

“Mr. and Mrs. Kamishiro, there’s nothing to worry about. He’s just being a child, it must be a sort of game.” he brushed them off again, making the parents sigh furiously. 

“He’s right,” Rui said unsmiling and with a look that made it seem like he could see through someone. “It was just a game. There are no red strings,” he lied. He could still technically see them, but it was a work in progress. After all that bullying, Rui had come to the conclusion that the strings were a curse. He knew they were an unnatural quirk, but now he understood how weird they were. The child had resolved himself to never mention them again and to ignore them the best he could. To do that, he would pointedly never look at anyone’s right pinky again and stare elsewhere when the string was full. It was easier to ignore the small ones, but he still struggled to completely ignore them. 

“See, even the kid admits it,” the doctor shrugged as if they were wasting his time.

“Rui, my baby, what’s this all about?” his mother asked slightly panicked. 

“Nothing, let’s just go home,” he said as he hopped off his chair and walked away.

“W-wait, baby slow down,” his mother panicked. The usually obedient child didn’t do as told, instead, upping his pace. His father thanked the doctor and apologized for his rude behavior while his mother followed him quickly. They left the office, Rui leading and his parents in tow looking worried.

“What’s wrong, baby?” his mother asked over and over again.

“Let’s talk about this at home, shall we?” his father tried to smooth down the situation.

They arrived home and his parents sat him down to explain.

“I don’t see any red strings. It was just a game. I’m sorry I didn’t say so earlier and that I made you worry for nothing when I was younger. We can stop seeing so many doctors for a medical diagnosis that I don’t have now,” he lied. Both of his parents didn’t believe him and looked skeptical.

“Baby, what’s really going on?” his mother asked with concern.

“Nothing.” he denied.

“Don’t lie to me! That day, when you first saw the ‘strings’ you panicked when I said I couldn’t see them. You had three panic attacks related to those things, so don’t tell me it was ‘just a game’.” she snapped gently.

“There are no strings. I have never been able to see them. Let’s forget about all of this and stop seeing the doctors for it,” he said and it was final. Rui stood up and walked towards his room.

“But-” His mother also stood up but was stopped by his father putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Let him go. He doesn’t want to talk about it, it seems. He’ll tell us eventually, right?” It seemed his father had understood his situation and was leaving him space. He was grateful for that and entered his room. The boy opened a book on astrophysics and distracted himself from everything.

Later, his parents called him to dinner and announced that he was transferring schools in two weeks. They had somehow managed to enroll him in another school in the middle of the semester. The fact that he was a genius at school helped him quite a lot. Rui was not against it, so he said nothing and continued eating.

Two weeks passed and he entered the building of his new elementary school. The usually extroverted child decided to keep to himself this time and talk to nobody. He read his books quietly during the breaks and didn’t make eye contact with anyone. Rui still somehow managed to grab the attention of some school bullies because he was quiet and had ‘weird’ hobbies.

Before entering middle school, Rui decided that he would be himself no matter what. It seemed that he would get bullied no matter what he did, so might as well do the things he liked and not care about what others thought of him. He was destined to be bullied and alone during school time, might as well have as much fun as possible while doing so. That was how he came to create his own solo guerilla gigs on the streets.

Even so, Rui still held back quite a lot on being himself. He had managed to learn how to ignore the red strings, at least the small ones. It was impossible to ignore the full ones completely. He never mentioned the strings ever again. Not to his parents, not to Nene, not to anyone.

–

Thinking about that accident still hurt, so the director recentered himself and said:

“Maybe for two women, but not two men. And besides, people probably just assume you two are ‘just friends’,” he answered Nene, brushing off Tsukasa’s question. His childhood friend flinched. She hated when people assumed Emu and her were not in a relationship, often telling them off behind their backs. 

“You know, if you’re uncomfortable doing it, just say so. It was your idea after all. You don’t have to be like that.” she grumbled. It was his idea that they changed. And now, he was the bad guy for saying the truth, geez! The Virtual Singers looked at them uncomfortably and Emu looked hurt by Rui’s comment. Dammit, now he felt extra guilty. The cheerful girl also hated that people saw Nene and her as just friends. She doubly hated it because people also assumed that she was too childish to have any sort of romantic relationship period. When people commented on how close friends these two were, Emu loudly corrected them by saying they were together and that ‘Nene is the most Wonderhoy girlfriend in the entire world’. The offender would often apologize uncomfortably and move on. 

 “Do you… really not want to put on this show?” Tsukasa asked looking a little dejected. “You looked really excited when you pitched this idea. Are the changes really that bad?” Leave it to Tsukasa to make Rui ignore every warning and alarm bell ringing in his mind that this was a terrible idea. “I mean, it’s fine, but I just don’t want you to hold back because of how you think others will react and stuff…” Also, leave it to Tsukasa to convince Rui to go with his own idea. Usually, it was the director convincing him to go ahead with his shenanigans, not the other way around. 

The way the blonde teen was almost pouting, looking down, blushing. The others also looked sad that he had rejected this new idea. Rin, Len, and Miku looked at him with big sad eyes. Dammit, why was he the one who rejected the idea? It was the responsible safe choice. Why did he have to be the rational one in this situation? This never happened! Rui was a reckless and over-the-top individual, not responsible at all. 

“Okay, fine. It’s not such a bad idea. But, we’ll have to ask Emu’s brothers first. And to do that, we need a storyboard and script.” The mood lit up at his words and everyone cheered. Miku hugged him and the other Virtual Singers joined her not too long after. They let him go and he turned to Nene and Emu. “And I’m sorry about what I said. That was out of line, I didn’t need to remind you of that.”

“It’s okay Rui, I forgive you!” Emu hugged him tightly.

“Don’t do it again.” Nene glared at him. He chuckled nervously and turned away.

“Well, now that that’s been resolved, are we all in agreement to put on this show?” Tsukasa asked cheerfully.

“Yeah!” Everyone said happily. They then decided to let the script to Rui and Tsukasa. Emu would come up with a pitch to her brothers and Nene would come up with a song list for their play. That was the first step in their plan, the rest would be hashed out when the script would be written.

Well, this was going to be something. To think that this story had ended up with his character being in love with Tsukasa’s. And he was going to have to write this with the same boy he was in love with. It was not a very smart plan, Rui knew. So many variables could go wrong, but if he were careful, the blonde boy would stay oblivious to both of their feelings. As long as this ended up being a successful show, Rui was sure everything was going to be alright.

Chapter Text

The troupe finished wrapping up and exited the Sekai. They had nothing else to do for practice since the script was not yet written, so they said their goodbyes and parted ways. Rui and Nene walked together to their houses. Nene was still looking at him with concern. 

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine. Emu’s brothers are going to okay this play and it’s gonna be our best one yet,” the grey-haired girl reassured.

“That’s not the biggest problem and you know it,” Rui deadpanned.

She sighed:

“If it really makes you so uncomfortable to play someone who’s in love with Tsukasa, we can change it.”

“I already said I would do it, it’s too late. Besides, acting it out will be easy. I’m more scared that the lines between reality and the play will be blurred in my mind at some point.” He hated to admit how weak his heart was. If only it could listen to logic.

“You’re so pathetic, seriously. Just confess already. You know he likes you back, what’s even the problem?” Nene snapped.

“You know what the problem is, I’ve told you. He has a soulmate out there, so this isn’t going to last.” Rui looked ahead, feeling slightly more numb while saying these words. Every time he reminded himself of that fact, his heart would loudly complain.

“And what if that soulmate is you?” Nene said sharply.

“It’s not. I have no soulmate.” His heart was in pain again.

“Stop saying that! You do, I know it,“ the diva loudly said, eyes frowning.

“No, I don’t,” the director calmly said, not showing how this fact truly broke his heart.

“Yes, you do. Remember what you told me when you first told me about the strings? ‘I can’t see my string because that would be cheating’, sounds familiar? Because it’s true. You just can’t see your string.” She was looking at him angrily as if he was the illogical one in this situation. The purple-haired boy stared ahead, not making eye contact.

He did remember that, but he also remembered that he had been a naive eight-year-old holding onto the lifeline that someone out there was his soulmate.

– 

Rui Kamishiro had been eight years old when he first told someone other than his parents about his quirk. 

That person was Nene Kusanagi. They had met after she had moved next door and had a rocky start. Nene was a shy girl and Rui was a ‘weird’ kid. It took a bit of time, but they ended up bonding over their love for shows after having watched The Little Mermaid together. 

Ever since that day, Rui’s dream evolved from wanting to build robots for fun to wanting to build robots for shows. And also direct a show that everyone, no matter if minority or majority, could enjoy. Nene’s dream was from then on to become a musical actress similar to her hero who had acted as the lead in the show they had seen. All and all, their dreams were similar, so they got along pretty well. The fact that the girl thought little Rui’s ideas were interesting also aided in their developing friendship. 

Even after his first life-defining accident (it being when his classmates started ridiculing him and rejecting him for his ‘dangerous’ ideas), the first incident of two in such a short period of time, he could still live on relatively happily because he had Nene by his side. She would always listen to his show ideas and help him recreate them. 

One of his favorite memories with his childhood friend was when they tried to recreate The Little Mermaid. Rui wanted it to look more realistic, and by that, he meant he wanted the show to actually look like it was underwater. The thing was, even if they had a transparent tank full of water, no one would be able to hear what Nene would say. Also, it would not look aesthetic since she would need to have diving gear on. That was not very mermaid-like. The purple-haired child took a few days to think about how to produce such a show. He eventually came up with the idea of putting a transparent rectangular tank full of water in front of the stage and the actors could act behind it. 

The thing was that this still wouldn’t make it realistic enough. The actors would just be walking on the stage behind some water and that wouldn’t make sense. Mermaids were like fish, so they didn’t have legs! They swam in the water, so the actors needed to replicate that movement. Once again, Rui was back to the drawing board to figure out how to make his show work. He figured that swimming must be similar to flying in a sense since in both cases the movement wasn’t done on the ground. And so, to add realism to his show, the tiny director thought he could add to his idea of the rectangular tank filled with water cables. He wanted to use cables attached to the actors to give the illusion that they were floating. So, he got to work creating everything he needed. This was the easy part of his directing job, he had always thought even young. 

Rui ran into another obstacle. He couldn’t use a stage to put on his show (and he also didn’t have a lot of actors, but that was no problem since he could build them. He and Nene were enough to put on a good show). Were all of his efforts for naught? Well, the elementary schooler had a risky idea. 

He knew that his school had a small stage in which they could roll around. Usually, it was used for school plays or music performances. All of these events were done in the gymnasium where the ceiling was high and weird horizontal columns went from one end of the ceiling to the other. That was where he could install his cables. 

The school would never grant them permission to put on this kind of show. The principal didn’t understand that making the actors floating in the air because of cables was all for realism. The last time he tried to put on a show, which involved jumping from a window to a tree branch, he got in trouble for ‘putting his classmates and himself in danger’. When the child justified himself by saying that it was to put on a great show and that it would have put a smile on everyone’s face, they scolded him again. They wouldn’t even listen when he said that he had put a mattress where the jumper could have landed if they missed the jump. The principal even went as far as to call his parents because of his little stunt. His mother was furious at him and scolded him twice as hard as the principal had. His father was silent, but when they arrived back home, he taught him safety precautions for his future stunts. 

No one understood his ideas. They didn’t understand that to put on a good show, sometimes you had to do some ‘dangerous’ stunts (they were not that dangerous, he would protest) for the sake of realism and shock value. 

Rui was not a child with a high sense of danger. He would never hurt a fly (without feeling bad), but he would make that fly fear for its life. The little troublemaker would make others (and himself, he would never make others do what he couldn’t do himself) jump off a 5 story building (with parachutes or something so they would be safe) if it meant he could put on a good show. He knew his stunts were safe. He ensured that everything was secure before asking others to do dangerous stuff. Rui knew all of that, but others didn’t. Or at least, they didn’t believe him. And that was why he was rejected and teased at school. 

Nene was his good friend. At the time, she had always agreed to do his stunts. But to little Rui, who had recently faced rejection from his classmates, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to ask his friend to do something risky again (lest she sees him as a weirdo like all the others do). 

Well, the rejection might have been fresh, but his classmates had not yet beaten it into him that he was a complete weirdo who had no place with anyone. That would come later. So early eight-year-old Rui hesitated on asking Nene to do this show with him, but not for too long. The next day, he went over to play with her and introduced his idea and the plan on how to make it come to life. She agreed after a little bit of convincing.

On that weekend, they decided to put their plan into action. Rui had brought his unfilled tanks, cords, safety precautions, and many other objects to help set up his show during the week. He had hidden everything in a storage closet that no one used, so he was never caught. The child director had brought his stuff in advance for two reasons: one, it would be impossible for him to bring all of the material required to put on his show on the day of, and two, he wanted to test his method of entering the school without being caught. 

For the entire week, Rui woke up super early (3 am) so that by 3:30, he would have attempted to enter the school and hide his props. Rui was a genius. He had many skills like building robots and other props. One of his secret skills was that he knew how to pick locks. That would be useful for his plan. What Rui did for five days was he arrived at his school with a few props and used his skill to enter the school. Now, it couldn’t be that easy, right? How could a kid break into his school in the middle of the night with props, some very large, and not get caught? 

Well, it was easy. Relatively. Rui still had to overcome a few obstacles. First, the school had a security alarm, of course. They certainly wouldn’t want people to break in like he was doing, so it made sense. the small genius knew that, but he also knew that their school had a weak point in their security. You see, the alarm only went off if one of the main doors was opened. After that, to deactivate it, he would need a code, which he didn’t have. It would have probably been easier to find it, but Rui had always been one for the dramatics. Something he discovered recently was that their school had a garage that was used to receive the food they used to make lunches for the students. The garage could not be opened from the outside, so there was a small door next to it made to access its mechanism. The door could be opened with a key, or well, Rui could just pick his way through it. And just like that, the purple-haired child could enter the school without a problem. 

There was now the problem of getting his stuff in. The tank he imagined using was quite big, so it would be impossible to make it past any door. He decided to create many tiny tanks that he could disassemble and reassemble at will. It would also make it easier for him to fill them up with water and bring them to the stage, lest it be too heavy for his eight-year-old body. The rest of his props were relatively easy to bring: cords and pulleys were small, so he could bring them in his hand, his tools were small and so were his other props. The only other object that could have caused him problems was his ladder, but it was retractable so he could easily bring it inside.

The last problem he could have potentially encountered was that he had to not get caught. Surprisingly, this was not a problem. Since he moved his materials at 3 am, there was no one who could report him to the school in the vicinity. No teachers, directors, students, or parents. There weren’t even any cars that passed near the building at that hour. The only people he encountered were druggies and creeps, but that was no problem. The yellow-eyed boy simply avoided them. It wasn’t as if they would report him or anything, they would get in trouble too if they did. So, the walk from his house to the school and until he entered the building was a cakewalk. As for the inside, it was even easier for him to not get caught. Of course, there was no one inside, but that wouldn’t have been the problem. It would’ve been the security cameras, but there were none. Perhaps that was a security risk, but who could blame them for not investing in that sort of stuff? Who would be crazy enough to break into a school in the wee hours of the morning? Well him, but it didn’t matter. Rui wasn’t complaining, it made his mission easier.

On the Saturday of the same week, at a reasonable time such as 9 am, Rui and Nene put on their Little Mermaid show in their school gymnasium. The small director had asked Nene to memorize her lines and buy her costume, promising to do the rest of the preparations himself. The costume consisted of a purple bikini top in the shape of seashells and a turquoise mermaid tail for the bottom. Nene had even bought a red wig to match Ariel’s hair color. She was going to look awesome. 

Everything was ready.  It’s showtime , Rui thought before going to get his friend at her house. He knocked and she opened the door enthusiastically. It was a drastic change from when he asked her to put on this show with him as she was more hesitant that day. Nene told her parents that she was ‘going to play with Rui’ and they left to go to their elementary school. 

Rui enthusiastically told her what he had done to prepare for the day, while Nene said that she was excited to perform. They rehearsed some lines on the way and talked about other topics. The walk hadn’t been long, so they arrived in front of the building quite fast. The boy picked the lock of the little door next to the garage and they were in. The kids practically ran towards the gymnasium to set all of the props up. The future musical actress helped him quite a bit, so it only took them an hour to prepare for the show.

The last thing Rui set up was a little camera. They had no audience and he didn’t care, but he wanted to see how his show turned out. Since he was performing as the prince and the king, the genius director couldn’t see the show live, so he chose to view it in the next best way: by video. 

They had two sections of the stage: the section land and the section sea. Half of the stage was one while the other half was the second section. If Rui had the manpower, he would have made it so that during the scenes where the characters were underwater, the entire stage’s background would make it look like they were under the sea. The same would have happened with the land scenes. Alas, Rui and Nene were the only people putting on such an ambitious show, so they’ve had to make sacrifices. It would have been impossible for them to change the background and move the tank quickly enough for the show to change scenes at a fluid speed. 

All and all, except for a few mishaps, the show was going well. The children both had fun acting out their characters and Nene really enjoyed flying with the cords. It was a success. 

Until a teacher entered the gymnasium.

It was Rui’s second-grade teacher, Mrs. Kaneko, and she was pissed to see them. Well, pissed was an understatement. 

“WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE!!!” Mrs. K (she deserved no respect or formality according to Rui) yelled enraged. The smart boy had never heard someone yell that loudly. Coupled with her voice resonating because of the echo of the gymnasium, the woman’s voice was booming. Rui had to shut his ears off lest he broke down crying in pain at the sound. 

Both children were shocked that someone was in the building. Not only was it a weekend, but it was also morning. No one was supposed to be here, especially not Rui’s teacher. 

He later found out that this teacher was only there because she had a parent-teacher conference with another problematic kid from Rui’s class called Katashi. Said kid had forest green hair and hazelnut brown eyes; he was a really popular child at school for his athleticism and good looks. Many girls in Rui’s class had a crush on Katashi (for good reasons according to him). But, the kid got into too many fistfights with other boys, so the teacher had to call his parents to talk about his behavior. Rui and the boy were not close (no one other than Nene was close to him anyways), but the purple-haired child wished they could at least become friends. Katashi didn’t seem to even glance at anyone that wasn’t a popular sporty guy or a girl he deemed pretty. Rui was none of those, so he resolved himself to observing Katashi and his other friends from afar, not being able to join in their games.

After her meeting, the teacher had to stay a little longer to finish a report on the incidents with Katashi. As she was leaving to go back home, she heard loud noises and talking from the gymnasium and decided to go investigate. When she saw who was making such a ruckus, she immediately burst into the room enraged. 

So that was how they ended up in the principal’s office with Rui’s very infuriated teacher sitting in front of them. She had called both of their parents and the school’s principal and all of them were on their way. The three of them sat in awkward silence in the small room: the teacher was still angry but had a disappointed look on her face. Nene was practically panicking in her seat, tears were rolling down her eyes and she was shaking. Rui, on the other hand, didn’t really know how to react. Of course, he was shocked and disappointed that they had been caught, but that wasn’t the main issue. There were two things that the genius inventor was worried about: his parents’ reactions and what would happen to Nene and his' friendship. 

First, his parents were sure to be infuriated with him. His mother in particular. She never understood why he did the things he did. The first time smaller Rui did a show with Nene and pulled one of his ‘dangerous stunts’ as she calls them, his mother had been so pissed that she had scolded him until he cried. She had toned it down after and reassured him, but it was an experience he would remember for the rest of his life. She hadn’t been mean or physical or anything, just very harsh. She had yelled at him at first then angrily ranted for an hour straight. She then told him that he couldn’t go see his friend for a week and was banned from using his electronics. That was when he cried; he wanted to see Nene again (as she was his only friend) and without his electronics, he couldn’t do any coding for his robots. His mother was scary when angered. Who knew what sort of punishment she would dish on him? His father, on the other hand, was a gamble. He rarely got mad at anything, but when he did, Rui knew he was in for a bad time. The one time it happened was when tiny Rui had left his house in the morning without telling anyone when he was five. He wanted to go to the park to see the ducks and his parents were busy, so he had left just like that. His parents quickly realized that he had left, but not quickly enough to stop him. They had first searched the entire house until they started panicking. They decided to look outside and even asked for help from some neighbors. The two adults split up to search more ground, so it was only his father who had found him. At first, the adult was relieved and almost broke down crying while hugging his son. Then, he asked what had happened, and when Rui explained his thought process with a smile on his face, his father boiled in quiet anger. He had pulled him along to their house, walking angrily, and had said nothing. The next day, his father told him of his punishment. He wouldn’t be allowed outside without strict parental watch even in their backyard, his favorite books were confiscated for two weeks and his meals would consist of vegetables for the entire week. Rui had cried and begged for him to reconsider, but his father’s mind was made. Hopefully, this time, his father would be merciful enough to not feed him vegetables again for his mishap. 

The other thing he was worried about was his relationship with Nene. The little director wasn’t sure if she was going to still want to be his friend after this. They were sure to receive a harsh punishment for Rui’s idea. The punishment was sure to be unfair since the teacher that caught him hated Rui. This teacher was not shy about her hatred towards him; often belittling him for small mistakes, telling him he didn’t fit in and was such a ‘bad kid’ because of his ‘bizarre’ interests. She also graded him more strictly than other students (but it didn’t matter since she could only doc his 100s to 95s if she didn’t want it to look suspicious) and gave him detentions if he even uttered a word in class (he didn’t have anyone to talk to anyways). The last time there was an accident involving Rui was when he wanted to put on a show with his classmates and asked them to jump from the window to the branch. At the time, the teacher had been hysterical, calling to have him kicked out, but failed due to his mom convincing the school director to let him go with detention at most.  

This time, that teacher would try again to have him kicked out, perhaps even succeeding. Alas, this time also involved Nene who was now at risk of being expelled. Although she was in another class, so the teacher didn’t know her, she was involved with Rui thus she was automatically hated by this woman. She was at risk of getting kicked out of the school too. If that happened to them, his friend would for sure be mad at him and probably never talk to him again. He couldn’t let that happen! Nene was his first and only friend. He really liked her; she was nice to him and fun to play with. She was funny and the best of friends anyone could ask for. She also hung out with him of her own will and that was the best thing about her. He didn’t know what he would do if he went back to being alone again. 

Rui still didn’t understand how to feel about this situation. This was all Mrs. K’s fault. How was Rui supposed to know she was going to be at school on a random Saturday having a meeting with Katashi’s parents? This was stupid, she was stupid, this situation was stupid! 

Rui sat in his chair not looking at anyone while fiddling with his fingers. He was already bored of waiting for the verdict to come and the guillotine to drop. He was tired of waiting to get his punishment and wanted to get this over with. He was lucky he didn’t have to wait too long.

His parents and Nene’s parents arrived together before the principal. His mother was seething as he had predicted while his father looked disappointed (but not surprised) at his son’s actions. Both of Nene’s parents were pissed and glaring at both children. The principal arrived looking formal. They had a beige vest, a white undershirt, and a beige skirt. They were also wearing high heels and light makeup. They were ready to dish out the children’s punishment.

“What happened here?” the primncipal asked firmly, annoyed at being summoned on a random weekend.

“Well, you see Principal Suzuki, I found these two here in the gym hanging from the ceiling on the school’s movable stage in front of a water tank. Not only does that mean they broke and entered the school, but they were doing something so dangerous that they could have been hurt. That means the school would have been in trouble because of these two troublemakers and it would have been a huge lawsuit for us,” Mrs. K exaggerated. 

“We were just performing a show. Everything was safe, you can see my safety precautions in the gym,” Rui retorted.

That’s when everything exploded. The teacher got mad and asked to get them permanently kicked out. Mrs. K started rattling on about how ‘irresponsible’ their parents were for allowing such a thing to happen and how ‘irresponsible’ it was of the children to do something like this. She said that they ‘had no place’ in such a ‘prestigious’ (this was an ugly public school so Rui had no idea what she was talking about) school. Nene’s dad intervened and said that she was being unfair and getting mad at her for badmouthing their parenting. Rui’s mother said they shouldn’t get expelled for this and to rethink their punishment. 

The teacher started ranting and yelling. She said that she was tired of having to deal with little shits like Rui, how he should be sent to a mental hospital since he’s such a danger to others, or that maybe his parents should go in his place for having raised such a menace. She swore at them for how the children ruined everyone’s weekend and ended her rant by saying how Rui would go nowhere in life except in jail before being interrupted by the principal. 

Everyone was shocked. The principal had been firm in shutting up the teacher who was now panting in anger. Nene had started crying loudly because of the yelling. Her parents were dumbstruck but quickly went to see their daughter to try and comfort her. Rui’s mother was beyond angry. She looked ready to fist-fight the woman who had insulted her, her husband, and her baby. His dad had his hands on her shoulders, sensing his wife’s intentions and trying to diffuse the situation. Rui was still sitting in his chair, trying to scrunch himself as much as possible to look as small as he could. He wanted to get out of this situation as fast as possible. The air was growing too tense and it was suffocating him. He kept fiddling with his fingers and shuffling his feet to keep himself from crying. He refused to cry in front of that woman; she didn’t deserve his tears. He felt his eyes water without his input, so to counter that, he stopped fiddling with his fingers and put one hand in his hair. He picked up his blue strand and lightly pulled it to try and get back control over his emotions.

 After a few seconds of awkward silence, Rui decided to break it:

“I-I’m sorry Mrs. Kaneko. I-I just wanted to use the stage for our performance. I didn’t mean to cause trouble… “ his voice trembled. 

Mrs. K sneered at him. She clearly didn’t believe him (even though it was the truth; eight-year-old Rui would never want to cause trouble for no reason). She was probably about to start spewing insults again but was shushed by the principal. She had done enough damage to their negotiations about the children’s punishment for the day. 

Rui got to go home eventually. After a long hour of the adults negotiating the children’s punishment for their misbehavior (understatement, but Rui would never admit it), Nene and Rui ended up getting a lot of scolding, a month of detention, everything they brought got confiscated (that was the saddest part; Rui never got to watch the performance on video since the camera got taken away) and a huge punishment at home. This was a miracle since their shenanigan should have gotten them kicked out of the school at the minimum. They were also lucky the school didn’t get the police involved since breaking and entering was a crime. Their punishment got lessened because of Rui’s mother’s sweet-talking, Nene’s father’s begging, and Rui’s father's bargaining. The teacher’s breakdown earlier also helped their case. It was clear that she was biased, even the principal could see that. She too was lucky not to get fired. As for their home consequences, they were not yet decided, but Rui dreaded it. He could already taste the nasty vegetables his parents were going to feed him. He almost gagged at the thought. 

At home, his parents officially announced his punishment. He couldn’t build robots, use his electronics without supervision, or go see Nene for a whole month. He would not be allowed outside without supervision, so they would walk him to school in the morning and go get him in the evening. The boy would go to school and back home; that was it. He would need to be on his best behavior; do his chores when asked, go to bed on time, and do what his parents occasionally asked of him all without complaint. The troublemaker needed to get back his parents’ trust or he would probably never have freedom again. Also, of course, his meals would be full of vegetables. 

Rui’s mother scolded him again at home. She was probably going to scold him again some other day too. She also reminded him that he was lucky that this was the only punishment he got.

And so, Rui’s life with the many restrictions that were put on him began. It was the worst, but he survived it. He was so bored during that month that he had the time to write many shows, draw designs for his future new projects, read his entire library, and start a new hobby of learning calculus. The understimulated genius also had time to stress about his friendship with Nene. In the end, it was for naught since he learned that Nene’s parents did not bar their daughter from seeing him somehow (Nene probably didn’t tell them that the show was entirely his idea) and his friend still wanted to hang out with him despite everything. She said she had fun doing the show and would like to do more (not in the school, of course). 

Ever since that day, Rui’s view of Nene evolved. She had already been his best friend before the event, but now, he trusted her fully. He knew she would never betray or leave him. They were best friends forever dammit and he loved his bestie. He felt like he would never feel lonely again because Nene was by his side and would never leave. 

So that’s why she was the first person outside of his parents to learn of his secret; that he could see the red strings of fate. 

When he told her, it came naturally. It had been a few months since the accident and it seemed like everyone had forgotten it (at least Nene’s parents probably). They were playing at a park near their houses while their mothers were chatting on the side. Both children were on the swings talking about shows and other random things when Nene brought up a particular topic of conversation:

“Mom keeps telling me how you and I are so cute together ugh.” 

“I mean, we are cute, no? I think I am very cute. Dunno about you though,” he teased.

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it, you dummy! Also, I am very cute, thank you very much!” she exclaimed. 

“Fufu~ I know, I know. You shouldn’t listen to them if that’s not what you want, you know?”

“Well… it’s hard to ignore what they say. They keep saying that I should ‘go for it’ and ‘shoot my shot’. Yesterday, Mom said that I’m so lucky to have such a 'cute little boyfriend' at my age and Dad said ‘If he hurts you, he knows what he’ll have to deal with’. Like ew, I don’t have a boyfriend and it would especially not be you. Couldn’t they try to get me with someone else that’s not my friend?” Nene ranted.

“I mean, to be fair, a lot of people usually assume that when a boy and a girl are friends, they’ll end up together romantically. That’s just how things are,” the purple-haired inventor explained

“Gross!” the girl gagged.

“Why do you care? It’s not like we’re together or anything, so why does it matter what they say?” Rui said, exasperated. 

“I don’t know, it’s just annoying okay!” the little diva snapped.

“So, just ignore it. Except if you actually have a crush on me, then there’s no problem.” The boy rolled his eyes.

“Ew, I would never have a crush on you. If anything, it would be you who has a crush on me.” Nene said smugly.

“In your dreams. Besides, we don’t belong together.” His eyes wandered to her pinky. The red string’s short end was pointing in the opposite direction from where Rui was sitting. That meant that they definitely weren’t soulmates. That was good; the purple-haired boy didn’t want that anyways. He liked Nene a lot, but not in that way! She was his best friend and he didn’t see himself ever doing anything romantic with her. Thinking about kissing her felt wrong and icky. 

Nene took offense at Rui’s comment. She huffed:

“What do you mean by that, huh? What, am I not good enough for you, oh Mr. Kamishiro? Oh, you’re soooo great and intelligent and whatnot that normal little Nene here is too boring for you, is that it? Huh?”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” he exclaimed. He clearly had done a social faux pas once again. It was not the first time he had accidentally offended someone (Nene in particular) because he had said something ‘rude’. 

Rui was a genius; he could build robots, ace tests without studying, and learn calculus and quantum physics for fun, but he could not communicate to save his life. He took a few seconds to think about how to save his situation and make it so that Nene would not be mad at him. He decided to tell her the truth; he trusted her. She always went along with his ideas and believed in him. She wouldn’t call him crazy if he explained the situation to her and answered her questions. The boy was sure of it.

“Nene, you’re a lovely girl and stuff and I know anyone would be lucky to date someone like you. You’re funny and smart and super fun to play with-”

”I sure am hehe~”

“But I am not interested in you like that. And even if I was, it would amount to nothing since your soulmate is someone else,” Rui admitted with a small smile.

“What do you mean? Soulmate?” She raised her eyebrow and cocked her head.

“Yeah. So you see, a soulmate is someone’s other-”

“I know what a soulmate is, dummy! I mean what do you mean by ‘your soulmate is someone else’?” she interrupted him.

“W-well I just mean that there’s someone out there that’s your soulmate and that person is not me.” Rui was caught off guard and stuttered a little.

“How do you even know that? Like did you build a robot that can see who someone’s soulmate is?” Nene looked a little interested.

“N-no, nothing like that! It’s just…” he trailed off and stared at the ground in front of him. Rui swung himself back and forth slowly and listened to the sound of the wind. Even though he told himself that he trusted Nene, he was still scared to reveal his secret. The first time he talked about the strings, his parents thought he was hallucinating and eventually took him to see several doctors. That was back when he was six, and they were still going around, getting appointments with every doctor in the city to see if he was going crazy. He wasn’t! The strings were sadly very, very real. 

The silence was growing tense. Rui regretted ever having this conversation. Nene looked at him unimpressed and silently urged him to continue his explanation. Rui did not get the hint, so she sighed and said:

“Well? It’s just what?”

Rui tensed and finally got the words out.

“It’s just that… I can see… the red strings… of fate…”

“Wait, what? The red strings of fate? What’s that?”

And so the floodgates opened. Rui started explaining everything, from the legends he read to his own findings. The boy even explained what he could see, how his quirk worked from his understanding, and the restrictions related to it. Nene had listened patiently with shining eyes. She was now looking at him as if he was the coolest person on Earth. 

“That’s so cool, Rui! Your quirk is like the stuff from legends!”

“You don’t think I’m crazy and making it up?” The elementary schooler was genuinely in shock at her acceptance.

“What? Of course not. You would never make something like that up Rui! You’re a man of science, so I know you’ve seen these things and properly researched them.” She brightly smiled at him.

Rui was so happy. His friend was the best! He knew he could trust her not to judge him too hard. His hands started shaking, his feet swung back and forth faster than before, his eyes shone and a big smile made its way to his face. He felt like he was going to explode. Nene interrupted his burst of emotion by asking him a question:

“So, you said that you’re not my soulmate, but you still haven’t told me how exactly you know that.”

“Fufu~ patience, dear Nene! You see, first, I cannot see my own string because that would be totally unfair to others who have to go in life without seeing the strings. But that doesn’t matter since my soulmate will have one and it will for sure be pointing towards me.” He pointed to himself proudly. “Your little end of the string is pointing over there.” He pointed in the direction of Nene’s string. 

“Woah! So my soulmate’s over there? How about we go search for them?” 

“I mean, we probably won’t find them today. They could be around the block or they could be in America for all we know. But, sure, let’s go see.”

They got up from the swings and went to see their moms. Nene told them that they were going to take a walk to try and find her soulmate. Rui’s mom tensed and looked uncomfortable, but said nothing while Mrs Kusanagi gushed over how adorable it was. They walked around for a while until it got too late and they went home. They didn’t end up finding Nene’s soulmate that day. That was okay, the children still had tons of fun looking around. 

Eventually, they did find her soulmate.

–

“I was a naive child holding onto the hope that someone in this world would accept and love me!” Rui answered a little sharper than intended.

“I accept and love you! Rui, you’re my best friend, and I will always be there for you. You have your friends and family by your side. We care for you,” Nene said genuinely with a fond, but desperate look in her eyes.

“Do you? Because if you did, you would respect my decision and let this go. Why are you so into this, anyways? This doesn’t concern you,” he sighed exasperatedly.

“This does concern me!” she exclaimed, putting her closed hand to her chest. "You’re my friend and I hate seeing you so miserable. Can you even understand that? That people can care for you, that how you feel affects those around you, that we hate to see you so sad? For such a genius, you’re so stupid to anything related to emotions and the people around you.”

“I will be sad no matter what. That is fate.” He looked her straight in the eyes as he said those words as seriously as he could.

“Who said it was fate for you to be miserable like this?” she cried.

“The strings!!!” he snapped, eyes burning with anger, “What don’t you understand? I have no red string. That means I have no soulmate. It’s that simple. I am fated to end up alone and that’s it. There’s nothing I nor anyone can do about it.”

“Now you’re just being dramatic.” She rolled her eyes. “You are not alone and you don’t have to be alone in the future. You have friends who cherish and love you. Your parents and extended family love you.” She emphasized the word ‘love’.

“You know what I mean.” His knuckles turned white. “Even with so many great people around me, there’s still this gap in my heart that will never be filled. You’ve probably felt it too before you met Emu.”

“How would you know, huh?” Nene sassed.

“Because I have eyes! I’ve seen how you smile brighter, your eyes light up and you are overall happier ever since you met her.” His volume was rising unconsciously. He was having a hard time keeping his emotions in check, for some reason.

“And you’ve been doing the same as me since you met Tsukasa,” she pointed out, frustrated.

“Shut up! I know!!! I know, okay! He makes me so happy, it hurts. He helped me change for the better.” His breathing picked up. “I’m not the same boy, depressed and bored, as I was in middle school. He makes everything so much brighter. He’s just so perfect and I wish, oh how I wish he was my soulmate. But every day, I have to remind myself that I don’t have one. So stop rubbing salt in the wound!” he yelled at her, shaking. 

“Are you really satisfied with the way things are now?” she said, voice shaking.

“No, of course not,” he said, defeated. “But I have to because I still want him present in my life. No, I need him by my side, no matter how. And the only possible option right now is to stay his friend.”

“That is absolutely not the only option!” she snapped.

“Yes, because a romantic relationship with him would fail. It’s fate!” he sharply replied.

“And who told you that you won’t lose him as a friend either?” Nene’s voice shattered something in him. He felt so, so cold. For a moment, he felt numb, but his emotions surfaced with revenge.

“S-Shut up!” he screamed, putting his hands in his locks and closing his eyes.

“Face reality Rui, friendships, just like relationships, come and go.” Pain. Her words were harsh and he hated them. They were words he had heard, told himself, and felt time and time again. Rejection, abandonment, bonds fading away, he knew those things intimately. He opened his eyes.

“I know that. I’ve known that my whole life. Don’t remind me!” His voice cracked.

“You clearly need a reminder because, for some dumb reason, you have it in your head that Tsukasa and you will forever stay friends and live happily ever after.” She used a mocking voice. “As if he won’t eventually get a partner and kids without you if you stay this way. As if work won’t take over and you won’t slowly fall out of touch because you guys are so busy!” Her voice became louder with each sentence.

“That’s not true! I will stay by his side even so. I could be his best man at his wedding, godfather to his child and we could work together, me as his director and him as my star actor. That way, we can stay by each other’s side as friends forever.” His voice became softer as he imagined their future. 

“Stop being delusional!” Nene snapped him out of his fantasy. “That’s not going to happen and you know it. And besides, wouldn’t it hurt an awful lot if you saw him get married and have children with someone else?” She looked at him with pity.

“No, because at that point in time, I will have gotten over him,” Rui said with conviction. He believed that with his whole heart. Why would he still be in love with the same boy after so many years of rejecting his feelings anyways? Sure, right now it felt like his love would last forever, but he believed he would get over it. Maybe he would find someone else to be miserable over in a few years and his romantic love for Tsukasa would fade.

“Are you sure about that? Because at the rhythm you’re going, you’ll have fallen even deeper for him.” Nene looked at him skeptically.

“That’s not true!” he tried to convince, either himself or Nene. He wasn’t sure.

“You’re pathetic it’s laughable. You have happiness at the tip of you’re fingers and you refuse to grasp it,” she spat.

“What happiness? You mean the temporary one where I decide to confess to Tsukasa, go out with him, and delude myself that it’s going to last forever?” He used the same mocking voice she had just used on him. “That’s even more impossible than our friendship lasting forever!”

“It’s far more possible! You forget that he might be your soulmate.  I  think he’s your soulmate,” she emphasized.

“And  you’re  wrong. How many times am I going to have to repeat this before this sticks in your brain?” He loudly dropped his hands to his sides. “I don’t have a soulmate!” he carefully said each word.

“And how many times am I going to have to say it? You do, you just can’t see it!” she yelled, hand on her chest and eyes closed as she said those words.

“You still believe what my eight-year-old self told you?” he said in disbelief.

“Yes, because he was right! Think with that big brain of yours for a second. Everyone around you has a soulmate. That means you do too!” the girl insisted.

“And that’s not true! Not everyone has a soulmate,” the director reminded her

“Oh, boohoo! You saw one guy without a string and now you’re convinced you two are the same. Please.” She rolled her eyes angrily.

“Because we both don’t have a string. How is that so hard to understand?” He made a face.

“I’m done with your shit. You’re so stubborn and delusional that you can’t think clearly.” the gray-haired girl frustratingly sighed.

“And you don’t understand what I am saying at all and you don’t want to. You say I’m delusional, but I am just making conclusions based on facts I’ve gathered over the years.”

“Why is it so hard for you to understand that there is someone for you out there?” She almost sounded sad.

“Because there isn’t.” His voice cracked.

“There is! And that someone is Tsukasa,” she desperately said.

“It’s not! Stop saying that!” he hysterically said.

“If you say that you’re making conclusions based on facts you’ve gathered over the years, then I’ll make my own. We established that Emu is the reason I’m happier and whatever. She’s my soulmate, you’ve told me that. We also established that Tsukasa makes you happier and has even gone as far as to change you from that slumped state you were in before. By that logic…”

“That’s not how this works,” he cut her off.

“Yes, it is. You went through the same line of thought when you convinced yourself you had no soulmate, so my line of logic is perfectly reasonable.” She looked at him with pleading eyes, hoping he would change his mind.

“No, it’s not!”

“Yes, it is.”

“Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Don’t say such things and make me hope!” His hands were back in his hair and he shook his head.

“Is it so wrong to hope?” she whispered.

“It is! It’s useless for me to hope to change fate.” His voice was higher pitched.

“I’m tired of this. Tired of you wallowing, being pathetic and stupid. All for one man! That’s it, if you don’t confess by the next show, I’ll tell Tsukasa about your feelings.” Time stopped. He felt a frosty wind brush his back. What did she just say? She would… tell Tsukasa about his feelings if he didn’t do it first? And break off their friendship, just like that? She would take away the most important person in Rui’s life, just like that? Where did this confidence, no audacity, come from? The Nene he knew was shy, couldn’t talk to strangers, and cared for her friends deeply. She wouldn’t do something so cruel to him, right?

“You wouldn’t dare,” he laughed bitterly. “You wouldn’t.”

“Don’t test me.” she tried to say confidently but was taken aback by the director's change of demeanor. 

“You wouldn’t dare because if you did that…” He gritted his teeth and yelled, “I would never, ever forgive you. There is no amount of wrath in this world that would describe how I would feel if you did that. I don’t think I could live with such a betrayal from someone I call a best friend. Someone I consider my sister!”

“T-then.” She took a deep breath. “You’ll just have to confess to him yourself.”

“Never! I will never do that. And I will not let you do it either!” he screamed. 

He took a few steps and grabbed her shirt. 

“Don’t try to take him away from me. Ever,” he said a little quieter and with venom dripping his every word. Rui turned around and stormed into his garage, loudly closing his door. He was boiling, so much so that he took the first thing in his room and threw it on the ground. Luckily, it didn’t break because it was a balloon. It didn’t help to calm his anger; he wanted to break and smash things. Instead, he flopped onto his couch and screamed his throat hoarse. 

The next day, he texted Nene that he was sorry for yelling at her, but that he had meant the last part of his speech. He really didn’t want her interfering in this. She left him on read.

Chapter Text

Today was the first day he and Tsukasa would write both the storyline and script of their original play. The tech genius had brought his laptop to school today so that the two of them could start writing out everything during the lunch break. Since their school rarely checked what was in their bags, he deemed it safe to bring it without risking it getting confiscated. Besides, if they did check, there would be far more… unauthorized objects that they would find such as his toolbox, robots, and even a confetti bomb. Yeah, Kamiyama’s security wasn’t the most rigorous about enforcing rules and ‘safety’ regulations. Honestly, bringing a laptop to school was pretty tame compared to how he usually broke the rules. 

He was sitting on the rooftop, laptop on his lap and black show idea notebook opened on his right. Rui had started writing a little bit of the storyline that they were to present to Emu’s brothers. The director had been able to write the entire introductory scene and the scene where the prince asks the queen for her daughter’s hand in marriage. 

Tsukasa finally arrived on the rooftop out of breath. Rui looked up at him in acknowledgment and went back to his writing.

“S-sorry” Deep breath. “For making you… wait,” he wheezed. 

“Hello, why are you out of breath? Do we need to up your training regimen if a few stairs are all it takes to make you wheeze like that, my star,” Rui said while typing.

Tsukasa huffed as he sat down next to him. 

“A few stairs would never be enough to make me even breathe a little harder. No, I just had gym and they made us do laps for way too long. I came here directly after.” Rui looked at him. The blonde actor's neck was shiny from sweat and his hair was not as star-like as it usually was. He was facing the sky and his eyes were closed. His chest was moving up and down rapidly. Rui saw that he still had his gym uniform on. 

“You know, you could have taken the time to change.” Rui looked at him fondly. The star must have been excited to start working on the show. Rui couldn’t blame him, he felt the same way, clearly. He had already started writing without him since he was impatient to start. 

“But I wanted to start the show script as fast as possible…” Tsukasa pouted. 

“Go get changed, catch your breath, and get some water. I’ll be waiting, my star. To think there would be a day where it’s me who tells you that.” He laughed. 

“Fine, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” The orange-yellowish eyes boy stomped off and Rui continued his writing. Not even 10 minutes later, Tsukasa was back and in his usual shape. He dropped down next to him and peeked over his shoulder.

“I can’t believe you started without me. Well, let’s see what you have.” Rui showed him his screen and they discussed what the director had already written. They changed a few details but the gist was that the show would start with Tsukasa’s character proposing to the princess and her saying that he must ask her mother. Not much changed during this part of the scriptwriting since it was the same concept as when Rui had thought of the idea a day ago. 

“Hey, we don’t even have names for the characters yet,” Tsukasa realized.

“Hmm, it seems so. I’ve just been writing princess and knight, huh?” Rui put his finger to his chin in contemplation. He had forgotten this crucial part of the story and mostly written the actions the actors were to make and the background that he was going to add.

“Yeah, and we can’t continue like this. They need names so that the audience can associate with them or feel more dept to them,” Tsukasa sighed.

“I suppose you’re right, but what should we name them?” Rui looked at him and stopped typing.

“Well, knights are from Medieval Europe, right? So, how about some Western names?” the blonde boy suggested

“Well, sure. But that’s too broad. Where in Europe do you want the names to come from?”

Tsukasa was silent while he thought about it. 

“How about French? I mean, it sounds kinda fancy and there were knights in France too.” 

“Alright then. Let’s search up some good names.”

They spent the rest of the lunch period looking up names for their characters. They decided that the knight would be called Charles since many kings in history were called that way. Well, there were many Louis too, but Charles sounded a little cooler. They didn’t have a king character, so the next best thing was the knight. Also, knight in French was  chevalier  which also started with the same two letters. They also decided that he would come from a village called Rivière-du-Loup. They didn’t feel like elaborating much on this village as it was not important to the story. It just had a very fierce name ‘the wolf’s river’ which sounded like something a brave knight would come from. 

The second character which they found a name for was the princess. She was called Marie since it was a very common name, one that a lot of women had in their name or as their middle name during older times when Christianity was enforced in France. Many queens and princesses were called Marie plus another name, but that was a handful. So simply Marie it was. They also came up with a name for their imaginary kingdom; Châteauguay. They found out that  Château  meant castle, but couldn’t find what  guay  meant. It didn’t matter, the name fit the imaginary kingdom quite well.

The last character, the alchemist, was named Albert. It was simply because it started with an A and because, well, Albert Einstein, of course. He was not French but it didn’t matter. The queen was not given an actual name; she didn’t deserve it. She was too evil in the story to deserve one and, besides, no one would refer to her by name anyways. She was the kingdom’s queen after all; everyone would refer to her as such.

And that was how their lunch break ended. After class, they decided to head to the Wonder Stage to continue writing together even if no one else would be there. The troupe had canceled practice so that the two could concentrate on the writing process. They wrote about the meeting between the queen and the knight, the challenge initiation, and the first meeting between the alchemist and the knight. As of now, nothing from his original idea had really changed. The alchemist was still rude to the knight when they first met and kept trying to push any attempts at friendship in the beginning. That was when they called it a day and went to rest at their respective houses.

The next day, Rui and Tsukasa met on the rooftop once more. During that lunch break, they decided to tackle how the alchemist and the knights would actually start to build a friendship. 

“What if we make it so that the alchemist starts letting the knight befriend him because of his kindness,” Tsukasa suggested, deep in thought.

“How? The knight is not really kind, he will betray him in the end because he is selfish. He really wants to marry the princess, so much so that he would kill the alchemist for it,” Rui challenged.

“That’s true, but what if he changes his mind? What if the knight is actually kind and starts to think of the alchemist as his friend instead? Like for real.” 

Tsukasa paused and loudly said:

“Oh! I have a really good idea!” He almost jumped to his feet.

“What is it?”

“What if we go all out with the romance side plot and make it so that the knight also falls in love with the alchemist? So, in the end, he doesn’t want to kill him,” the one he loved pitched enthusiastically.

“Y-you want our characters to fall in love?” The purple-haired high schooler turned red. There was no way this was good for his heart. They couldn’t do this; it was a ridiculous idea. 

“I-I mean sure.” Tsukasa turned to the side and his cheeks turned slightly pink. “Wouldn’t it be a better twist than him betraying the alchemist and saying he had never thought of them as friends?” 

“I guess, but this is still a tragedy. This will not work,” Rui tried to discourage the idea. Tsukasa pouted and looked down.

“You’re right…” he said sadly.

Damn, this boy and his cute pout. Rui couldn’t let him look so sad and pathetic like that. That meant finding a way to incorporate that idea. It was just a play; a play where Rui’s and Tsukasa’s characters were to fall in love, but a play nonetheless. He could do this, he just had to convince himself that Tsukasa meant none of what his character said, even if that was untrue. Who was he kidding, this would never work. His heart would jump with joy and never make him forget the words Tsukasa’s character was to say to his. But, still, right now, his heart wanted to make that boy smile. So, he sighed:

“Maybe we can find a way to incorporate this idea of yours differently. We can make them fall in love if you want and have a confession scene. But, what if the princess sees them and becomes upset? The knight, having fallen for the alchemist, but out of love for the princess, could try to break off the proposal. The princess would refuse angrily and tell the queen about the knight’s betrayal. The queen would then force him to wed her daughter and make him kill the alchemist else she kills him and his whole family. The knight, with no choice but to kill and betray the alchemist, does it during his next visit and is consumed by grief. The show can end with the wedding scene. There, we are back to a tragic story once more,” Rui concluded as he wrote down the idea in his notebook.

“T-that’s incredibly sad!”

“And challenging. You will have to convincingly act out being in love with my character and the grief he will face after killing his lover. Can you do it, my star?” He looked at him fondly.

“Of course, I can! This is no problem for a star like me! Now before we write all of that, we should write about their developing friendship,” Tsukasa boasted then went back to looking over Rui’s shoulder. They were still very close and it was comfortable.

They started writing about their friendship until the bell rang. They continued their writing at the Wonder Stage and were about to write about their waltz scene when they were stumped.

“How do we even write this?” Tsukasa said frustratingly. They had been trying to come up with a choreography for their dance for the past hour. They had watched a few tutorials on waltzes, but could still not grasp how to actually incorporate the steps. 

“Well, how about we skip the choreography part of it? We don’t even have a song to go along with it and it’s hard to choreograph without a song. Besides, I’m sure Nene would be good at doing this part, so we should leave it to her,” Rui sweetly said.

“Alright”

“How about we write the confession scene then? Or maybe let’s let our creative minds rest for a little while instead,” Rui suggested.

“Eh? But there’s still a while before we need to go back home, you know? What should we do instead?” the blonde boy exclaimed.

“I wanted to consult you on some props I’ve been designing. I still don’t know how we will be able to change the decor that fast. I was thinking of doing it by attaching invisible ropes to the props and lowering them down when the time comes for them to be seen by the audience. It would be hard to pull off though, especially which such a low amount of time before we are scheduled to perform. That along with the other preparations I have to do, I’m thinking this might be too hard of a challenge for just me alone, but I don’t know how else we could change the background that fast,” Rui ranted.

“I don’t know about all of that, but I’m sure you can do it, Rui! Besides, there’s no shame in asking for help. Isn’t your dad an engineer or something? Can’t he help you?” Tsukasa suggested.

“Ah, that’s right! I should ask him about it. He should be home now too. Let’s go ask him now,” Rui said excitedly and packed his things; computer, black notebook, random props... Tsukasa looked at him and shook his head fondly. 

He also packed his things and sighed:

“Um, alright then.”

They quickly went to Rui’s house to talk to his father. For once, they entered the main house and not the garage. It wasn’t the first time Tsukasa had entered the building since he had come over for dinner a few times, but it was certainly a very rare occasion. 

As the genius inventor opened the door and greeted his parents who were in the living room, he saw two extra heads popping from the couch; one with blue hair and one with red. 

“Eh??? Uncle Kazuya and Uncle Hikaru, I didn’t know you were visiting today! What a pleasant surprise!” He went to hug them. 

“‘S good to see you, little Rui,” Hikaru said in his deep voice. 

“Ah, had I known, I would have come home earlier. How long have you been here?” 

“No, no it’s fine, really. We’ve only just arrived. Sorry for the surprise visit, we were in town for a conference today and decided to pay a visit,” his uncle Kazuya said.

Rui turned around to face Tsukasa. He had been oddly quiet during this whole exchange. Well, not really that oddly because he always acted like a quiet polite kid in front of new adults. It was another one of his endearing and cute traits. He acted all proud and loud in front of people his age and his friends, but the second he met someone older, his act completely changed. At least, until he got to know them better, then all bets were off the table.

Tsukasa was shuffling his feet awkwardly and looking at Rui with a betrayed look in his eyes. Well, it wasn’t like the yellow-eyed teen was expecting this either, so he couldn’t entirely blame him for this unexpected event. 

“Oh! By the way, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” He stepped slightly towards his left and gestured at Tsukasa. “This is my friend and the troupe leader of Wonderlands X Showtime, the theater troupe where I direct some shows, Tsukasa Tenma.” All eyes were on the blonde. It seemed even his parents hadn’t seen him enter since Rui was blocking him from their view with his tall frame. They didn’t look surprised in the slightest though. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you and pardon the intrusion.” Tsukasa bowed a respectable amount. 

“Ah, Tsukasa! We hadn’t seen you there. Come in, come in,” his mother said. 

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t be interrupting your family meeting. I’ll just come back another day,” the boy rapid-fired

“Nah, Don’t worry about it kid. We’re the ones barging in here uninvited. Come in, sit down. It’s good to meet one of little Rui’s friends. We’ve heard so much about you and your little troupe,” Hikaru said. 

“A-ah, is that so?” Tsukasa looked embarrassed. “Well, I hope it’s good things.” 

“Of course, of course. Now, tell us, what’s this new show you guys are working on?” Kazuya asked. 

They talked about many things from their new shows, how the two boys met, Rui’s new inventions to the new plans he wanted to rope Tsukasa in. His parents and uncle Kazuya looked at him disapprovingly, while his uncle Hikaru laughed at him. His friend was getting more animated as time went on, almost like his usual self. His uncles talked about the meeting they had and their new research projects. His uncle Kazuya was researching the behaviors of anteaters in South America while Hikaru was studying the mating behaviors of the huntsman spider. When he mentioned spiders, Tsukasa immediately shut down the topic which his uncle judged him for, but respected. 

“Wait, so you guys are his uncles from which side of the family?” Tsukasa asked.

“Oh, my father’s side,” Rui answered.

“Eh? So you two are Mr. Kamishiro’s brothers? I didn’t know that,” Tsukasa said.

His uncle Kazuya was looking nervous but said nothing. Hikaru, on the other hand, looked straight into his yellow eyes and asked:

“You not told him?” 

“Ah, well, you know. It’s not exactly something we’ve ever talked about. And I wasn’t exactly going to bring that up randomly in a conversation,” Rui answered smoothly, unbothered. 

“What? Bring what up?” He looked at Rui pleadingly. 

“Ah, well, Tsukasa, they aren’t both my father’s brothers.”

“Ah, sorry. Um, half-brothers and adopted brothers are also valid.”

“That’s not what I meant. I can’t believe I have to do this again. They are together, as in they are in a relationship. Only Uncle Kazuya is related to my father. That’s why they are my uncles,” Rui explained. 

—

Rui Kamishiro had been seven years old when he first discovered that gay people existed. 

He had been visiting his uncle from his father’s side, Kazuya, with his parents. They hadn’t seen each other in over a year since he had been overseas doing research in Costa Rica. He had been researching about the fireflies in that country and Rui was excited to hear about all the cool new facts his awesome uncle had discovered about these beetles. His uncle was so cool, he was a published environmental researcher who had traveled the world for his research. Rui had read every single one of his 50 papers on different plants, animals, and fungi. Rui’s favorite was the one about the reproductive habits of the platypus of Tasmania. It had been a fun read about what started from how the platypus mated to how they hatched. 

His uncle lived in an apartment in Nagoya with his friend and roommate, Hikaru. Rui had met Hikaru a few times when he was younger and he was also cool. He was also an environmental researcher like his uncle, but unlike him who was more of a free spirit that wanted to learn as much as possible about every topic, Hikaru was more specialized in topics such as invertebrates, especially arachnids. Rui remembered him rattling on about the different discoveries he had made about some species of spiders. Toddler Rui listened on with stars in his eyes and kept asking different questions that the other was glad to answer. He had even shown four-year-old Rui his pet tarantula and even let it crawl on him. 

All and all, Rui was excited about this visit, so when they exited the train and walked towards the apartment, he was practically skipping. The child was holding both of his parent’s hands, so their full string was in front of him. That was okay because he was used to seeing it, so it didn’t scare him anymore. He actually liked seeing it because it reminded him about how his parents loved each other very much. 

They arrived in front of the door and knocked. They didn’t have to wait long before his uncle opened it up and smiled at them. He got tackled in a hug by little Rui who couldn’t help himself. Kazuya returned the hug and they separated to let everyone in. The man greeted his parents warmly and led them to the living room to catch up. Before sitting down, Rui saw something

Red.

Not only was there his parent’s full red string in the room, but there also was another full string coming from his uncle’s pinky and it lead towards his kitchen. Rui’s eyes widened when he saw it and he smiled wildly. His uncle had found his soulmate and she was in the other room. He was so happy for him! His uncle deserved all the love and happiness in the world since he was the best. 

“Uncle Kazuya! You didn’t tell us that you had your girlfriend over!” the child excitedly said, grinning wildly.

“G-girlfriend?” His uncle looked shocked.

“Yeah!!!”

“Um… haha little Rui. Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t have a girlfriend,” the adult explained.

“Then wife, I don’t know. Wait, if she’s your wife, then that means you didn’t invite me to the wedding!!! Uncle, how could you!!!” Rui exclaimed devastated. 

“What are you talking about, my little nephew? Where is this even coming from?”

“Rui, what nonsense are you spewing again?” his mother intervened.

“I’d actually be very, very impressed if you’d have a girlfriend, K. You’ve never had one before, I didn’t expect that to change,” his father said with a knowing look in his eyes. 

“I know she’s here, Uncle. I can see your string leading to the kitchen. So, can I go see her? Wait, are you hiding her? No fair!” Rui said. 

“W-what? There’s only Hikaru in the kitchen, so I don’t know what you’re talking about. A-anyway, why do you insist that I have a girlfriend? And, string?” his uncle asked looking a little bit more distraught by the second. His father was still looking at him as if expecting something. 

Rui was now confused; if his uncle didn’t have a girlfriend, a wife, or even a girl over, how come his string was full and pointed to the kitchen? And he said that Hikaru was in the kitchen, so did that mean that Hikaru was his soulmate? Was that possible?

“Wait, Mom, Hikaru is a boy and so is Uncle Kazuya, so how come they can be soulmates?”

“S-soulmates?!?” his uncle exclaimed as his cheeks reddened at an incredibly fast pace. 

“Why couldn’t two boys be soulmates?” she questioned.

“I dunno. I thought only one boy and one girl could be soulmates,” the boy shrugged.

“Well, my little platypus, I see no reason why two boys or two girls couldn’t be soulmates either.”

“Oh. That makes so much sense!” Rui exclaimed.

“W-what are we even talking about?” his uncle tried to get back control of the conversation.

“Uncle, I’m so happy for you! You found your soulmate!”

“H-huh? A-and who would that be?”

“Well, Hikaru of course!!!” he yelled. Rui was wiggling in place and went to hug his uncle who was frozen in place. They heard footsteps coming from the kitchen and everyone looked at the source of the sound.

“I heard my name, so what’s all the ruckus about? Kazuya! You didn’t tell me they’d arrive! Geez, now I look like an antisocial guy who didn’t even greet his roomie’s family,” Hikaru’s gruff voice exclaimed. 

And there it was. The red string in its full glory, attached to both his uncle’s and Hikaru’s pinky. Rui’s eyes were shining. This was the best day of his life! Seeing his uncle and his soulmate after knowing that his uncle had been single for so long. It turned out that he had been with his soulmate all along, how romantic! He detached himself from his uncle and ran towards Hikaru to tackle him in a hug. The man was taken by surprise and almost fell, but he reciprocated even if awkwardly.

“Aaaahh, congratulations you two! I’m so happy for you. This is such great news.” Rui smiled and jumped around.

“Wait, what? Kazu, you didn’t tell me you told them about us. Coulda at least consulted me about it but whatever,” Hikaru shrugged.

His uncle made a funny noise and said:

“W-w-what are you talking about?” He looked at Hikaru with wide eyes.

“Ah, you didn’t tell them? Then, what’s this about?” the man replied.

“So, are you finally going to admit it?” his father asked with a smile.

“A-admit what?” His uncle was beet red.

“That you’re dating Hikaru, of course.” His father smiled.

“Wait, that’s right! You’ve never told us. Why’s that?” Rui asked, perplexed.

“Ah damn it all! F-fine! I’m dating Hikaru,” his uncle said, defeated.

His father had a mischievous look in his eyes. 

“And for how long has that been going on?"

“…Since the first year of Uni,” Kazuya grumbled.

“I knew it!” his father exclaimed. His mother glared at him and he cleared his throat. “I mean what a pleasant surprise.” 

It was a little awkward after that, but that went over Rui’s head. He continued to ask questions:

“Uncleeeeee, you didn’t answer me! Why didn’t you tell us?” 

“Ugh, do I really have to explain this?” He sighed while looking at his parents. They pretty much gave him the okay and he rolled his eyes. “Fine. It’s because I was scared of your reaction okay! It’s just that being gay and especially being in such relationships isn’t that accepted. I didn’t want to be shunned.” 

“Kazuya, I’m your big brother. You know I would always accept you no matter what, right?” his father said sincerely.

“I know that, but you know how sensitive these topics are, you never know. I just wasn’t sure okay, I’m sorry.” Kazuya looked at the ground.

“It’s fine, don’t apologize. I understand. I just want to make myself crystal clear, Kazuya, that you’re my brother and nothing you do will change that, okay?”

“Yeah…” His father went to hug his uncle. Rui saw that there were tears in his uncle’s eyes because he was happy.

“Wait! What did you mean when you said that it’s a sensitive topic and that boys loving boys are not accepted? What’s sensitive about it? You just love each other very much, right?” Rui asked, perplexed.

Hikaru answered for them:

“It’s just that a lot of people think it's disgusting and not ‘natural’” 

“How is it disgusting, it’s love, no? It’s more cute if anything. And I mean sure, it’s not ‘natural’, I guess, but that’s never stopped anyone before. Aren’t cities and pretty much everything that humans have built and created not ‘natural’ either? Pretty sure love is way more natural than that,” Rui challenged

“Look, little guy, I don’t know what to tell you, but that’s just how a lot of people think. There’s nothing we can do about it.” Hikaru rolled his eyes.

“That’s just stupid!” little Rui exclaimed.

“Damn right!” 

His uncle laughed and went to hug him. Rui returned the embrace and they changed the topic. They continued catching up for a little bit until Hikaru said:

“Wait, little Rui, did you have something to tell us?”

“Hmm, about what?”

“Well, you were the one who exposed our relationship and actively defended it. So, got anything you wanna tell us?” Hikaru stared at him pointedly.

“Ah, you’re right! Congratulations to you two! I’m so happy you found each other. Oh! And I guess that makes you my new uncle now! Yay!” 

Thinking back on it, this was probably Hikaru’s way of making it easy for Rui to come out as gay. But seven-year-old Rui hadn’t caught on to that and also hadn’t realized his sexuality yet. So, they dropped the subject and their family gathering continued. 

When Rui eventually came out to his parents, not too long later, they had not been surprised. They also accepted him with pride, but he already knew it was going to go well. 

—

Tsukasa was an oblivious guy, it made Rui both insane and grateful. Grateful because he still didn’t understand his feelings for Rui and insane because that meant that when people around them were in relationships, he still assumed they were just good friends. When Emu and Nene had started dating, Tsukasa still believed they were just close friends. Rui had to explain it to him thoroughly before Nene would kill him for calling them good friends. He had apologized profusely after that and the hot-headed girl had let it go.

“W-WHATTTT!” he yelled making almost everyone in the room flinch. “I’m so sorry for assuming!” 

“That’s fine kid. Don’t worry about it. Most people assume the same thing,” Hikaru said.

“That’s not the problem. He’s just very oblivious about anything romance,” the non-oblivious teen teased.

“R-Rui!” Tsukasa loudly said. 

“It’s true! Tsukasa’s so innocent about this kind of stuff, it’s so cute~” Rui poked the other’s cheek repeatedly. Tsukasa batted his hand away and glared at him. The yellow-eyed tease chuckled lightly at his behavior. 

He turned around and saw the look his Uncle Hikaru was giving him. At that moment, Rui knew he messed up and had to somehow run damage control lest that guy ran his mouth. It was too early for someone to make Tsukasa realize his feelings (and Rui’s). 

“Oh ho! I see how it is,” Hikaru said knowingly. 

“I’m glad you moved on, kid. Didn’t think it was gonna be this quick, but that’s a relief. Last time I saw you, it was kinda heartbreaking to see you this down,” the man said sadly. 

Fiou! He could have said worse things. This revealed absolutely nothing to someone as oblivious as the one he liked. Tsukasa looked confused and asked: 

“What’s that all about? Move on from what?”

“Don’t worry about it,” the teen said, then turned to his uncle. “I appreciate the sentiment. Thank you, Uncle.” Now, he just needed to change the subject smoothly and everything was going to be okay. Well, nothing was ever that simple because his uncle had a big mouth and liked to annoy him.

“So, when were you going to present him to us as your b-“ 

“Hahaha! Anyways me and Tsukasa should continue working on our show now. We’ll ask about the mechanism later, it’s fine,” Rui intervened nervously, growing red. Damnit, that guy was going to say something stupid and ruin Rui’s hard work of keeping his beloved out of the loop on their feelings. He quickly stood up and grabbed Tsukasa’s arm.

“Wait, kid! You know you don’t have to hide that kind of thing.” Rui looked at him with a deadpan stare. “Especially from us, clearly,” Hikaru said.

His father intervened:

“You guys have fun working on your thing. And Rui, don’t worry about this, I’ll explain so it doesn’t happen again.” 

“Yes thank you, see you guys during dinner.” Rui turned and made his way to the door, dragging Tsukasa.

“It was nice meeting you, Tenma,” his uncle Kazuya said.

“It was nice meeting you two. Wait! Huh? R-Rui what-” The purple-haired boy pulled him away as fast as he could before the situation could degenerate. 

“Wait, are these two not together?” Rui heard Hikaru ask. His boyfriend shushed him before he could say more.

Rui pushed Tsukasa out of the door as soon as he put on his shoes.

“Gah, Rui! Stop that! And what’s all this about, ugh. Why did you push me out of the door like that?” Tsukasa was frowning at him.

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s just go work on the show instead. Fufu~” Rui said nervously. He opened his garage door and dragged the other inside. 

“Ah! Rui!!! I could’ve entered myself, geez. And that answer isn’t gonna cut it, mister! And what was your uncle about to say before you cut him off?”

“Well, probably something about his pet tarantula,” Rui smoothly lied.

“P-pet tarantula!!! Eek! Why does he have something like that? Wait, no! Don’t answer that. Also, huh? That doesn’t make any sense. What was he really about to say?” the blonde boy raised an eyebrow and looked at him pointedly.

“What? You don’t believe me? Oh, my poor heart. It’s just how my uncle is, you know? He talks about his pet tarantula at the most random of times. You should be grateful I got us out of that conversation. It would have taken hours before we could shut him up about it,” Rui dramatized.

“Really…” Tsukasa said with his eyebrow quirked.

“Really!” Rui answered immediately.

“So he really has a pet… tarantula,” Tsukasa said in disbelief and slight terror.

“Yes.”

“Why couldn’t he have a normal pet like a dog or a cat? And both of them study those disgusting creatures we call insects. Why is your extended family so passionate about gross things?” The boy used his many decibels to say.

“But Tsukasaaa~ Insects are actually interesting creatures. You see, many of the living beings that are multicellular are actually insects. They are actually the biggest non-bacterial group. Even if there are so many species theorized to exist, not very many have been discovered and named. Their behavior is less well known than that of mammals so there is a lot of research to do on the topic such as their mating habits-“

“Do you seriously have to talk about that? Yuck! Didn’t you want to work on the show? Let’s go back to that!” Tsukasa cut him off.

“Fufu~” 

They heard a knock on the door. He went to open it and saw his uncle Hikaru with a guilty look in his eyes.

“Hey, kiddo. I’m sorry about earlier. Can we talk? Just for a few minutes.” 

Rui looked at Tsukasa apologetically. 

“Tsukasa, can you grab my show book? I’ll be right back.” His friend nodded and Rui took a step outside and closed the door. 

“Look, kid. I’m sorry that I almost outed you to your friend. Your parents told me you guys were not together and that they think he doesn’t know that you’re gay.” Maybe the ‘didn’t know that he was gay’ part was a stretch. There was no way Tsukasa didn’t know he was gay. If anyone spent even a little time getting to know Rui, they always knew his sexuality not long after hanging out with him. “I would never want to out you without your consent and I’m sorry I jumped the gun about this.” His uncle was usually a proud gruff man that always faced things head first like a train. He never regretted the things he said and was considered rude by many. He rarely looked nervous as he did now, fiddling with his fingers and looking down. It was a weird sight.

“It’s fine uncle, there was no harm done,” he tried to reassure. 

“Hey, I mean it kiddo. I’m really sorry. I see that you really like this guy and you kinda look like you’re together from what I can see. I don’t understand your situation and I shouldn’t have tried to assume.” Damn, it seemed his uncle was sensitive about these sorts of things. He hadn’t meant to make him this upset, he simply tried to prevent a regretful situation.

“It’s really okay. Please don’t beat yourself up about this. Our situation is… complicated. Tsukasa is still oblivious to his feelings, you see. And I’m good with that,” he explained as vaguely as he could.

“What? Kiddo, you should really tell him how you feel then. I mean, I kinda got the impression that he liked you too back there, but you’re telling me he’s oblivious to it? Just tell him and everything will be solved.” His uncle was back to his normal self.

“I won’t. As I said, it’s complicated. I don’t want to talk about this. I’ll see you later, Uncle Hikaru. Tell the others not to worry about me, especially my parents. You know how they are,” the purple-haired teen dismissed. 

“Ah, alright then kid. Keep your secrets,” Hikaru grumbled. They bid goodbye and he reentered his garage. Perhaps he should have never left because when he looked up, he saw Tsukasa standing up, reading a sadly familiar notebook that he had almost forgotten he hadn’t thrown out yet. The blonde had wide eyes and a horrified look. Rui could do nothing as Tsukasa read through his notebook. He was frozen and couldn’t breathe. At some point, he hitched a breath and Tsukasa looked up. He saw him and his horrified look became more like dread. 

“R-Rui, umm, ha ha, umm. T-this isn’t your show notebook it seems,” he nervously stammered. 

“I-it seems so. H-how did you get your hands on this?” The notebook Tsukasa had in his hand was black just like his show one. Rui had forgotten that these two notebooks looked identical, but it didn’t explain how Tsukasa had gotten his hands on that one specifically.

“W-well, you asked me to look for your notebook so I searched in your desk drawers and found this. I-I really thought it was your notebook so I opened it and, ummm, I read through it…” he looked guilty and scared. Well, that explained how he got it. Did it count as snooping? Probably not since Rui had asked him to get the notebook out. It was an honest mistake even though it shouldn’t have happened because his actual notebook was in his school bag. Tsukasa should have known this! He was with him when Rui put his notebook away in his bag on the stage. But Tsukasa was forgetful. And his dramatic self should calm down because this was just a mistake. 

He walked to his bag and picked up the show notebook. He approached Tsukasa who still had the other black notebook, his middle school journal, opened and the blonde took a step back. 

“Look Rui, I’m so, so sorry! I should have stopped reading it the second I saw it wasn’t the right book. I’m deeply, deeply sorry! I somehow couldn’t stop myself from reading! I’ve breached your privacy and I hope you can forgive me. I’m so-”

“Can I have it back?” Rui asked calmly.

“Huh?”

“Can I have my notebook back? Don’t close it yet, I want to see where you left off,” he said, not a hint of anger.

“O-okay.” He handed him the open notebook hesitantly and Rui saw at which page he had stopped. It was a page detailing his very, very gay thoughts about a director he had a celebrity crush on. God, it was so embarrassing. He had waxed poetry about this guy for pages and written down that guy’s accomplishments, shows, and many more weird facts like a stalker. This wasn’t a bad page, per se, at least compared to some others that talked about different topics. It was the page before that bothered him. Well, pages. He remembered with extreme clarity writing this stuff when he was in eighth grade. He used to be obsessed with the director Tom Gray and his productions. When he had seen what the man looked like in interviews in middle school Rui had been obsessed. He usually only wrote many pages about him to soothe himself after the day before had been horrible. And by horrible, he meant that his thoughts had strayed and turned terribly dark. 

On days when he would feel like he should die, he always wrote about it in his notebook in extreme detail. It was honestly very graphic and disturbing. The distressed teenager would often write his plans on how to commit suicide, his many disturbing self-deprecating thoughts and sometimes he would write suicide notes. He could usually never go through with it, of course, since something would always deter him. It could have been his mom calling him for dinner, his father showing him a new design for his job, or a quick text from his uncles. Usually, he wouldn’t even come close to attempting and the next day, he would wake up with a clearer head. Well, he would still feel like dying, but at least he would have the clarity to try and do something to stop his thoughts from straying. 

Well, it was just his luck that Tsukasa had somehow managed to fall on a page talking about Tom Gray instead of those things. It was not something he wished anyone to see, let alone Tsukasa. 

But he had to make sure the boy had only read that page since two pages before, there were written some his most graphic and intense thoughts. 

“So, did you start from the beginning or open it at a random page,” he asked not accusingly.

“Random page,” the blonde actor stuttered.

“Good. Did you read any other pages except that one?” Tsukasa looked away guiltily. Okay, so that was definitely a yes. And it was bad. 

“I’m sorry!” he squeaked.

“I-it’s fine,” the purple-haired director panicked. Oh no! Tsukasa had read the pages before. “J-just how much did you read?” He felt cold sweat roll down his back.

“F-from the part w-where it said that everyone at school hates you and that you should be better off… better off d-dead.” Chills. It was freezing cold. This was bad. Worse than bad, this was a disaster!

This meant that Tsukasa had read the entirety of what had happened on the day that he attempted to kill himself for the first time. 

This entry had the full package. The first two pages were streams of thoughts about how he should die, he was such a freak and a weirdo, and he didn’t understand why he couldn’t be normal. He also wrote that he thought he wasn’t born ‘right’, but he didn’t remember the exact context of what he didn’t find right at that moment. Rui had even written down a slew of insults, even called himself slurs just because, and that he should have jumped off the roof that day, but that he didn’t because the people would probably make fun of him and spit on his dead corpse. 

Then, the next page was about the details of how he was going to do it. He had decided that he deserved pain, so he had slit his right wrist. The passage went into detail about how long it would take for him to die, how long before he passed out, how deep he cut… It wasn’t pretty to think about and made his skin crawl looking back on it. There were a few blotches of blood on the page if he remembered correctly.

The last pages were personalized suicide notes. One for his mother, one for his father, one for his uncles, and one for Nene. The ones for his parents told about how much he loved them and was sorry about having been a terrible son. How they should be happy to be rid of such a failure and weirdo like him. The one for his uncles was about how he wished them the best and that he hoped one day it would be legal for them to marry. The one for Nene was about how he had missed her but didn’t blame her for distancing herself from a freak like him. Her letter was never finished as he had passed out before he could. 

“A-ah! I-is that so?” He shifted nervously. “C-could I ask you to forget about this?” he pleaded.

“R-Rui! I can’t just ignore this.” Rui put both notebooks on his desk and sighed. Well, of course, Tsukasa wasn’t going to let go of something like this. Who would? The blonde approached him and took his hands. He had tears in his eyes and was trembling.

“Don’t die! Please don’t kill yourself!” he exclaimed with a tear streaming down his face. “There are so many people who love and cherish you. Your parents, uncles, your friends at school, our troupe. We really care for you, especially Wonderlands X Showtime. We would be sad, no, devastated if you disappeared.” Rui wiped the boy's tears with a smile. This little speech had made his heart feel warm. Oh, how he wished he had met Tsukasa back in middle school so that he could have said that to him. This probably could have been prevented with him by his side. Or maybe not, he didn’t know.

“I’m glad to hear that Tsukasa, but I won’t do that, you know? What you saw was my middle school journal, so it’s been a little while since that. I don’t feel that way anymore ever since you guys came into my life.” Rui’s face turned soft. 

“R-really?” Tsukasa looked at him, still sniffling.

“Really. Thank you for being in my life, my star. And thank you for inviting me to be in your troupe.” Tsukasa tackled him in a warm embrace. He closed his eyes, a soft smile still in place. 

“N-no Rui. Thank you for still being here and alive. The troupe would be much different without you and… well… I suppose my life in general.” He could see the tip of Tsukasa’s ears turn red at his admission. 

“My life would be far, far different without you in it, my star,” he said lightly. Tsukasa pulled away from the hug and looked at him seriously, eyes red from crying. 

“Rui, if you ever, and I mean ever, have thoughts like this again, please talk to me. Or Nene or Emu or Akiyama or your parents. Anyone, it doesn’t matter. No matter what time or what happens, I want you to talk to someone. We’ll always be there for you.” Rui felt his heart flutter. His inner middle school self was crying tears of joy at how lucky he was to have such great friends willing to listen to him about such things. He hugged Tsukasa again.

“Thank you,” he whispered. Tsukasa pulled away and looked at him sweetly.

“W-would you mind telling me more about that time? I-I mean, you don’t have to and it’s fine if you say no and-”

“It’s fine Tsukasa. It’s not really a happy story though.” He looked away sadly.

“That’s okay. I want to get to know your past self better. I can’t begin to imagine what must have happened for you to… do that. There was blood on some pages and the last note wasn’t finished…”

“Yes, well… I suppose I should start from the beginning, huh? Well, I used to be bullied quite a lot at school. It started in elementary school when I was in second grade because of my hobbies and weird directing habits and escalated in third grade when people found out I liked a boy in my class.”

“Wait! Hold on! You liked a boy? In your class?” Tsukasa asked confused. So, Tsukasa actually hadn’t known he was gay. That was… disappointing, but not surprising. He supposed he had accidentally come out as gay. He wondered if that would help Tsukasa realize his feelings. Well, it probably wouldn’t change anything since he was far too oblivious, so it wasn’t the worst misstep he could have done. Rui decided he might as well ‘come out’ to Tsukasa because if he didn't, the guy would continue to assume that he was straight for some reason. 

“Yes?” he said, genuinely still confused.

“I-is that so? W-well, I didn’t know you were… um… into guys.” Tsukasa turned all shades of red.

“What? I thought it was obvious.” It was. And somehow Tsukasa had never realized this. He didn’t know if he should feel offended that the boy had assumed he was straight or laugh. “What, did you think I was straight?” he teased.

“W-what? I-I don’t know! I just never thought about it okay. You never said anything either.” The boy looked away.

“Is there a problem with that?” Rui asked knowing the answer. He just wanted to see Tsukasa flustered.

“N-no! Of course not! It was just something I didn’t expect, is all.” His eyes were wide, it was funny. Rui wanted to continue to tease him and ask if he was also into boys, just to see his reaction. He already knew the answer, of course, he just wanted to see him die of embarrassment. But that line of questioning was too dangerous and could lead to Tsukasa discovering things Rui didn’t want him to learn so soon. Tsukasa was probably already out of the closet, but his asking would be suspicious. So, he kept his mouth shut and stopped teasing him, instead reassuring him.

“Fufu~ It’s okay Tsukasa. I was just teasing,” he laughed, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Rui! Hmpf stop teasing me! Whatever, just continue with your story!” the blonde actor pouted. 

“Fufu~ alright then. Anyways, the bullying got worst when they found out I was gay.” Rui looked at the floor and shifted his feet nervously. “Sure, there were nasty rumors going around about me. How I’m a freak of nature, a weirdo, and all those classics and it certainly got to me at some point, but it wasn’t the worst part. A lot of the time, the boys in my class would kick, punch, ram me into lockers, destroy my stuff, you know. That kind of thing. It got so bad that my parents made me transfer schools in the middle of the second semester. At the new school, I decided that I didn’t want to get bullied, so I kept to myself and talked to nobody. I kept my hobbies to myself and didn’t even make eye contact with the others in my class.”

“Wow, I can’t imagine you ever being that type of shy and quiet guy. To think people have hurt you to the point that you became like that. I’m sorry that happened.” His friend put a hand on his shoulder which made him look up and see the calming look on Tsukasa’s face. A wave of safety washed over him and helped him continue with the story.

“Anyways, doing all that, isolating myself, didn’t change much. The bullies at school still decided to pick on me for the rest of my time in elementary school. So by the end, I decided that I was going to unapologetically be myself no matter what. If I was going to get bullied because of my hobbies or sexuality no matter if I did or didn’t share them, I might as well just do what I wanted, right?”

“Right… then why did you write all that stuff?” Tsukasa whispered.

His smile turned sad.

“Well, it’s hard to convince yourself that when there are so many people saying otherwise and ostracizing you. Some days, it really got to me, I suppose.” Tsukasa looked at him pained as if any of this was ever his fault. “There were times when I wondered why I bothered going to school, eating, sleeping and all and all staying alive if I was such a freak of a human and an outcast. That’s how it culminated in that passage you saw.

“That day, I think the bullying had been worse than usual. I think, if I remember correctly, that some people in my class had written mean things and how I should die on my desk. They even went as far as to put a flower vase on my desk.” Tsukasa looked twice as horrified as before. Like he couldn’t compute that people could be that mean. 

“So yeah, I told myself ‘Hey, why not give these people the show they want’ and then I remembered that they deserve nothing from me. So instead, I created a private performance for myself.” Rui laughed bitterly.

“Rui! Don’t say it like that!” Tsukasa said, shocked.

“My bad, my little star. Anyways, it was a pretty good attempt for the first time. I only failed because my mother came back earlier from work that day because she ‘had a bad feeling’. Can’t even imagine what she must have felt seeing me passed out bleeding.” He looked away in shame.

“Yeah… I’m glad she found you in time… Wait! What do you mean the first time? There’s more?” Tsukasa exclaimed. 

“Fufu~ yeah… the second time happened right before I met Mizuki on the rooftop at my middle school. So I was finally about to graduate from that place in a year. I think the reason I tried that time was because I had been in a very dark place for the past few months and nothing I did to distract myself was helping. At the time, my thoughts had turned very dark and I couldn’t get out of bed. I only got up to go to school so as to not worry my parents, but I was so tired. Back in middle school, being tired was a constant in my life and there was no amount of sleep that could make me more energized. So, one day, the thoughts were too much, so I tried acting on them. This time, since the last method hadn’t worked, I decided to try hanging. Honestly, the only reason it failed was because the rope somehow snapped under my weight and at that point, I was so flabbergasted that I gave up and laid on the floor,” he laughed at the stupidity of his mistake. Tsukasa looked at him with a ‘Are you serious’ look.

“Good thing you finally gave up after that.” Tsukasa sighed.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t give up completely. Just for the day.”

“W-what? You tried again?” Tsukasa almost fell to his knees. 

“I swear this is the last time okay?” He tried to calm him down.

“And it better be the last time ever!” Tsukasa exclaimed. He couldn’t promise that, so he smiled weakly. “Rui! This is the last time ever, right?” Tsukasa insisted.

“Anyways-“

“No, promise me. Promise me you won’t ever do that again,” Tsukasa pleaded, grabbing his arms and looking at him pitifully. “Please!” He almost had tears in his eyes.

“I-I can’t promise that. I don’t know how the future will go.” Tsukasa sniffled as a few tears slid from his eyes. Great. Dammit, he had made him cry again. “Ah, I’m sorry! I promise I’ll try my best not to get to that point again. I’ll do as you asked and talk to people and stuff if it gets bad,” Rui conceded. Tsukasa patted his head for some reason.

“Good.” He wiped his tears and looked straight into his eyes.

“A-anyways, it happened not long before I met you,” Rui continued.

“That recently?!?” Tsukasa yelled. The director flinched and awkwardly put his hand behind his neck.

“Um, yeah. It happened a few weeks before I transferred to Kami High because something pretty bad happened. Well, this time, I decided to try overdosing with some pills I found in the cabinet. I was waiting for it to take effect when I heard my phone ring. It was Mizuki calling me, so I picked it up. They told me that they were so happy that I had transferred and that we were finally in the same school again. They were so excited to see me at school again after one year and told me that they had so much stuff to tell me. That’s when the realization hit me. I was going to die soon and leave my friend and my parents all alone. I told Mizuki that I was going to call them back as I felt my head become light. I called an ambulance myself and they arrived right on time. They pumped my stomach and all was good somehow. I stayed in the hospital for a while and, not even a week after I was discharged, I met you and you invited me to join your troupe.”

“I’m sorry you felt like you had to die so many times. I’m sorry there never seemed to be anyone there to help or at least not enough people. But you know, I’m glad you failed so many times. Maybe it was fate.” Rui felt an imaginary dagger hit his chest. Fate had never been good to him. His failures had nothing to do with fate wanting him to live. If it did, all these attempts would have never happened. “I’m very glad we met then. You’ve also changed my life for the better. To think I had such an effect on you.” Tsukasa blushed. “Um, I mean, it’s only natural that a star like me can help make your life brighter.” 

“To say you made it brighter might be an understatement,” he slipped, a fond look on his face. 

“Eh?” Tsukasa said, confused. Whoops, he did it again. He couldn’t help but say something stupid again that might reveal his feelings. Well, not like Tsukasa would put two and two together with such a vague sentence. 

“Nothing. Fufu~” he retracted. 

“Well okay. But anyways, thank you for trusting me with something like this, even if it was kind of my fault because I read your notebook without permission, but thank you still,” the boy said nervously. 

“No, thank you my star. For always being there for me, trusting me when I ask you to do dangerous things, caring about me. Thank you for being my friend.” He said the last sentence a little bitterly, but Tsukasa didn’t notice.

“Um, since you trusted me with such a big secret from your past, well, I wanted to maybe do the same with you.” Tsukasa nervously fiddled with his fingers and sadly smiled at him. “Um, I’ve never… um… tried to kill myself, but um, yeah. Wh-when I was in middle school, Saki was in the hospital a lot, you know?”

“Yes, and I’m sorry my star.”

“W-well, my parents were almost never at home since they were taking care of Saki at the hospital or working. When they were home, I would often try to spend time with them, but they were tired. When I would ask to do something, they would often tell me no and that I should stop being selfish. ‘You’re a big brother and big brothers are not selfish. You can do stuff on your own, you’re big now. We need to focus our energy on taking care of your sister and insure you have a roof over your head and food on your plate.’” Rui was an only child. He had loving and supportive parents that would defend him and do anything for him. If he asked for anything, they would go out of their way to make sure he had it. They didn’t provide for only the bare necessities such as shelter and food. They also provided him with love, which he was insanely grateful for. He loved them very much too. So, to think Tsukasa’s parents would treat him as a second choice broke his heart. He didn’t have siblings, so maybe this was normal. He didn’t think so. Why would parents have two children if they couldn’t take care of and love them equally? Even if Saki required more care because she was sick, the Tenmas should still have at least tried to spend time with their son. He wondered if Saki knew; probably not since she would be pissed if she knew. At least she loved her big brother very much.

He looked at him with pity.

“Tsukasa…”

“A-anyways, I decided to stop being selfish and not ask them for their time anymore so that they could focus on that. I-”

“Tsukasa, you were not selfish for wanting to spend time with your parents,” the taller teenager cut him off. He wanted to make it so his star understood that what his parents did was pretty much neglect. Tsukasa had internalized those words, how could he blame him? It was devastating to think that a parent could say such things to a child. 

“But I was! I wanted to take away the time that they used for rest or time that they needed to take care of Saki.”

“No.”

“What?”

“No, you were not selfish. I’ll repeat it as many times as you want, but you were not selfish. You wanted to spend time with your parents, just as any child does and needs. Of course, you would want to take some of their time. It’s not selfish to want to be cared for or loved by a parent,” Rui said convincingly. Tsukasa took a step back and looked shaken. 

“I- but I- I’m a big brother. And big brothers need to take care of their little sister, so I was taking away some time where they could have been resting and more energized for when they went to take care of Saki,” Tsukasa parroted the words that were drilled into his head. The inventor took a step forwards and looked at him seriously.

“Tsukasa. Just because you are a big brother doesn’t mean that you don’t need someone to take care of you too.”

“I-I can take care of myself!” he exclaimed, distressed.

“You were a child! A child shouldn’t have to take care of themselves. You should have been outside playing with your friends, gone to get ice cream with your parents once in a while, and stuff like that. It’s not selfish to want to be cared for by your parents!” His words resonated in the room. Tsukasa’s eyes were wide as he took them in. Tears were forming in his eyes and he turned to the side.

“B-but I’m a big brother…” his voice shook.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to make you upset. I’m sorry.” Rui took out his handkerchief to wipe off Tsukasa’s tears. “There there. Better now?”

“Yeah…” he stuttered.

“My words are still true, you know. I know you don’t believe me and you won’t for a while, but I’ll keep repeating it as many times as you need until it sticks. Don’t worry, I’ll convince you one day.” Rui smiled warmly at him.

“A-Anyways, we haven’t even gotten to the secret part.” Tsukasa wetly chuckled. “When Saki was in the hospital, I wanted to be a good big brother and take care of Saki as much as possible. Even if my parents weren’t home and it felt kind of lonely, I knew that I had to cheer up because Saki was twice as lonely in her hospital bed since she couldn’t go see her friends. In middle school, I decided to take up cooking as a hobby. Saki couldn’t go out to eat all the yummy food she wanted so I decided to bring some to her. Saki really enjoyed it and it made her happy, so I continued to do that. But, my parents were mad at me for buying so many groceries ‘for nothing’ and told me that groceries were very expensive. They said to stop doing that because they needed to save money to give Saki all the things she wanted in case she… you know… didn’t make it.” Tsukasa stopped for a second to take his breath. He knew the threat of his sister dying had been real and that it must have been hard for him and especially poor Saki. Rui winced and said nothing, waiting for the blonde boy to continue.

“Well, Saki liked the food, so I decided to continue cooking for her, but I stopped buying that many groceries. Um… this is the secret part okay. So, I still cooked, but only for Saki. She deserved to get good things, even if it was little. I… um… didn’t eat to save money. For months, I went on with a diet of one meal a day, sometimes even skipping entirely. When I ended up feeling really, really hungry, I used to tell myself that I was doing this for Saki and that she deserved the food more than me.” Rui was shocked. 

“Um… I started losing a lot of weight. Eventually, I started thinking that it’s a good thing that I’m doing this since I need to be fit to be a star, and eating that many calories is not good to keep a healthy weight,” Tsukasa said seriously.

“What do you mean that many calories? The minimum required to survive?” the purple-haired boy replied, flabbergasted.

“W-well, I was probably eating a lot more than the minimum before, so what’s a few less?”

“Tsukasa! Having one meal a day is not enough nutrients for your body!”

“I-I know that now. Um… well I found out when I fainted one day at school. I woke up in the hospital with no one by my side. The doctors told me about what happened and how I was dangerously thin. They had inserted a feeding tube in me and were going to keep me, observing my condition for a little bit. They also told me that they were going to recommend a new diet to reintroduce food. They planned treatment for me and recommended… um… therapy.”

“Did you do it? Go to therapy as they recommended I mean,” he asked in a non-judgemental tone.

“…no.” 

“Why?”

“Because my parents wouldn’t let me and would not pay for it. When the doctors told my parents about the treatment and recommendation, they said ‘Our son is fine, he’s just a little dramatic’. Then they got mad at me for ending up here and said that they already had enough on their plate with Saki and that they didn’t need me causing trouble.”

“T-that’s insane! They told you that? While you were in the hospital?” Rui exclaimed. 

“Yeah.” The star looked away in shame.

“Oh, my star…” he said with pity.

“W-well they were right. I mean-“

“They were not! My star, you weren’t ‘causing trouble’, you were struggling.” Rui stared at him seriously and with worry.

“I-“

“Let’s make this very clear. What they said was wrong and you were not dramatic. It was not your fault. To think they would say something so low when you were already down.” Rui wanted to hug him right now, hold him softly and wipe the hurt away. 

Tsukasa was silent. He wasn’t shining as brightly anymore and for once, Rui wasn’t against it. This was a staggering amount of trust he had shown him. To talk about his past like that, it was hard to open up about things like that. 

“So, did you stop skipping meals after Saki came back or before?” the purple-haired inventor asked.

“Um… before. It was actually Toya that convinced me to go through the treatment and actually do mostly what the doctors recommended. He came to see me the next day and cried. I didn’t mean to make him so sad… especially since he was having a hard time too. He told me that he didn’t want me to die or suffer and that he would help me as much as he could in recovering. And so, that’s what I did.”

“I’m glad then. You shouldn’t skip meals anymore.” Rui smiled fondly.

“W-well, you shouldn’t try to disappear anymore either.” Tsukasa firmly said.

“I still can’t guarantee anything.” Especially if Tsukasa ended up confessing to him and Rui ended up losing him. He still wasn’t sure how his heart would take it. 

“And I can’t guarantee anything either then. Unless you promise me again that you’ll make sure that you’ll do anything not to get to that point again. I need a double confirmation.” Rui frowned. It was not good to use his medicine against him.

“Fine. I’ll promise it again. I will talk to someone if it gets bad again. And you should feel free to do the same. Besides, I barely sleep anyways, so if you want to talk about it, you can do it anytime. But, please, don’t skip meals.”

“And don’t kill yourself, please. And sleep!” 

They smiled genuinely at each other and decided to go back to preparing for their show. Not long after, Tsukasa had to go back home and Rui went to see his parents and uncles in the main house. 

Chapter Text

The script was finished a day later. Rui immediately forwarded it to Emu and Nene to see if they approved it. They enthusiastically did, especially the pink-haired girl who sent a spew of colorful emojis in their group chat. Emu told them that she had already pitched it to her brothers and they had given the green flag to put on this show. That was good, he supposed. At least all that work was not for nothing. 

He texted Nene to see if she finally wanted to eat with Tsukasa and him on the rooftop. She said yes. He also asked if she was still mad at him, to which the girl answered yes, but she decided she would not care anymore and let him be. She also told him that he could continue being miserable for all she cared. Nene didn’t actually mean it, but Rui could really feel the love right now. 

It was lunch break and his childhood friend was late. Tsukasa and he were eating their lunch while Rui was showing him progress on the decor rope mechanism thing he was making. 

“When I’m done, we will be able to use this for other shows and it will make our life easier,” the director started to explain.

“That’s so cool!” Rui took a piece of Tsukasa’s lunch. “Hey! Stop eating my lunch. You always do this, ugh!” The blonde boy tried to take back the piece by grabbing Rui’s arms. The purple-haired tease used his strength to try to get out of the grip, but his star was stubborn. “Give it back, you thief!” 

“Fufu~ so mean. Can’t you share a piece with your lovely director?” The director smirked.

“You have your own lunch, you know,” Tsukasa replied, frowning. They were still fighting for the small bite Rui had taken

Rui was winning though, his arm was slowly getting away from the grip and closer to his mouth where he could eat the piece. Tsukasa realized what was going to happen and leaned into him, taking the taller one by surprise and making them fall horizontally. The blonde actor was on top of him, pretty much pinning him down. He moved a smidgen and bit the piece out of Rui’s chopsticks. The beautiful boy on top of him looked straight at Rui with a victory smile and licked his lips which had a few drops of the sauce from his lunch on it. 

“Ha ha ha! Guess I won this little game huh? Now, don’t eat my lunch,” Tsukasa said proudly. Rui was breathing heavily. He felt very, very warm. Not just his face, but everywhere; head to toe. His head was spinning violently and his heart was beating out of his chest. Tsukasa’s grip on his wrist was still tight and their faces were a few inches away.

“W-why are you making that face?” the oblivious boy asked. The enamored director had no idea what face he was making, but he could guess. He was probably looking at his star with all the love that he couldn’t contain. His eyes were half-lidded and his lips may as well be described as pursed. They could kiss right now and no one would know. If they could just breach the distance…

The door opened loudly. They both looked in the direction of the sound, Tsukasa still on top of him.

“We have arrived!” a cheerful voice exclaimed. “Oh!”

“W-what are you two doing!!!” Nene yelled. Tsukasa realized that they were in a very compromising position and immediately rushed off of Rui. He turned just as red as the one still on the floor and started sputtering excuses.

“I-it’s not what it looks like!!! Rui just took a piece of my food and I.. umm… wanted it back so we kinda fought, but not in a violent way okay, in a game way.”

“A game… uh huh…” the greyish-haired girl raised an eyebrow, unimpressed by this excuse.

“Yes! I swear okay. You know how he is!!! I was just trying to get my food back. And um, we fell, nothing more. I wasn’t about to…” Please no. Rui really hoped Tsukasa wasn’t about to say that they were about to kiss. Damn, this was it for him. The oblivious boy surely saw the tension between them and how Rui was so out of it that he was preparing himself to be kissed like a fool. The hopeless director tried to get up to run away or something, but he felt so exhausted. “Hurt him.”

“What?” Rui croaked. He had no idea where Tsukasa imagined that someone who walked in on them in that position would assume that the blonde boy was about to hurt him or something. But, well, if it meant his star was somehow still oblivious to his feelings, the purple-haired high schooler would take it. He often wondered how someone could be that talented in many fields like acting, sewing, and cooking and somehow be so… well stupid was a little harsh. Tsukasa was not stupid. The boy wasn’t a Rui-type genius, but he certainly wasn’t the random people in the 2-B class amount of brain-dead. Maybe it was because he was so oblivious, that he couldn’t rationalize what was in front of him. 

The genius inventor was starting to get the feeling that Tsukasa would never realize his feelings for Rui, no matter what mistakes the purple-haired director did. Short of outright confessing (which he would never do) and maybe kissing (which he will hopefully never do), his lovely star might stay clueless forever. Rui’s heart was weeping while his brain was taking this victory with grace. 

“Huh??? That is absolutely not what this looked like. How did you come to that conclusion? You were literally on top of him, pining him to the ground and your faces were mere centimeters from touching. It clearly looked like you were-” Emu put a finger on Nene’s lips to cut her rant short.

“Shhhh! Nene, let’s leave it for now. Hehe~” she winked at Rui. It seemed Emu had his back. He sighed in relief and faced the sky, still laying down. The girls went to sit in front of them. Nene came right up to him and kicked him.

“Ouch, Nene~” he whined and clenched his side. He sat up straight and looked at her pitifully.

“Get up loser. You deserve no rest.” Nene glared at him. Emu gasped.

“Nene!”

“Don’t call him that!” 

Emu and Tsukasa both said those things at the same time. 

“I will call him whatever I want. By the way, I am still mad at you and I am even more mad now!” She clenched her fists and went to sit next to her girlfriend, side-eying him. 

“Rui! What did you do this time.” Tsukasa exclaimed and looked at him disappointed. To think his adorable little star was concerned about him and defending him from Nene’s slander just a few seconds ago. Woe was him. The betrayal!

“Nothing. I promise I did nothing this time. I haven’t exploded anything in almost a week. I didn’t build a dangerous robot either, I swear. I’ve been on my best behavior this week, please don’t be mad at me Nene~” he said with crocodile tears. Tsukasa looked satisfied with his answer and turned to Nene.

“That’s exactly the problem! You did nothing! You’re too much of a coward to make a move when you know it’s mutual. You had your chance right then, but I bet you did nothing. I wish we had arrived a few seconds later. Oh wait, nothing would have changed because you’re a coward.” She raised her voice angrily at him. He didn’t appreciate her bringing their personal fight in front of the others. Seemed she lied about not caring anymore about this. Nene got up and pulled him up by the shirt.

“Nene, let’s not talk about this,” he tried to calmly diffuse the situation. “Besides, you told me you ‘didn’t care if I stayed pathetic and alone’. So, try not to care.” Nene looked like she was about to murder him. He saw a vein pop on her forehead and she was shaking. 

“Clearly, I didn’t actually mean it. Are you seriously this dense? Don’t use my angry words against me when you know I didn’t mean it!” the greyish-haired girl practically yelled.

“Oh, did you? Could have fooled me.” He was getting slightly annoyed at this. 

“Of course, I care about how you end up in the future. I am your friend! Don’t act like you don’t know that!” She shook him harshly.

“W-What’s all this about?” Tsukasa tried to get between the two of them. “Why are you fighting?”

“Get out of the way. This is between me and Rui.” She pushed the innocent boy aside and adjusted her grip on his shirt. “Oh, and by the way, you’re little empty threats are nothing. I still intend on doing what I said I would.”

“Are you sure my threats are empty?” Rui said coldly. Nene let go of his shirt and looked at him scared.

“You… you wouldn’t actually do that, right? You wouldn’t actually k-”

“Who knows?” he cut her off with empty eyes, staring straight into her soul. Rui wasn’t about to let her say that he had implied that he would kill himself if she spilled his secret. Especially not after that tense conversation he had had on the topic with Tsukasa. 

He saw her physically shiver and she took a step back.

“S-Stop! No fighting or being scary.” Emu broke them off. “We are not here for this! So, apologize, now!” The pink-haired girl put her hands on her hips and frowned. She looked at them intently, not blinking. None of them said a word, staying in the same position as before. Tsukasa was looking nervously at them, not knowing what to do after his attempt at breaking the fight off failed so miserably. 

“I said, apologize!” Emu snapped them out of their daze.

“I-I’m sorry.” Nene looked defeated and she looked at the floor. “I-I won’t actually spill your secret.”

“Good. I’m sorry for raising my voice.” The light in his eyes came back.

“I’m sorry for pushing you, Tsukasa. You were just trying to help,” Nene mumbled.

“I-it’s fine. Um, I’m glad you made up now.” Tsukasa looked at Nene, then at him, then back at Nene. He quickly shifted his gaze between the two of them, silently asking them about what had just happened, but too scared to start another fight to actually voice his thoughts. 

They sat back down on the floor, no one saying anything. Nene avoided his eyes and he kept staring straight ahead at nothing. Tsukasa was fiddling with his fingers and rapidly looking between the two of them. Emu was the only one smiling brightly.

“Your guy’s script is so wonderhoi! My brothers thought it was very good and so did my dad. Even if the mood is very bweh, I really liked it. It’s different from our usual shows, so it’s gonna be so fun!”

“Um, thank you, Emu! Tsukasa and I worked hard on it, so I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Rui said, snapping out of his trance.

“Of course, our script would end up great. It was written by a star like me and our wonderful director,” Tsukasa boasted.

“What did you think about it, Nene?” Emu turned to her girlfriend.

“I… um… I really liked it. I didn’t think you would make the knight also fall in love with the alchemist. I think it really fits and makes the ending that much more tragic.”

“Right?” Emu smiled brightly.

And just like that, the previous cold that had been hanging over their heads was lifted. There was still a little bit of tension between Rui and Nene, but it was fading. They would probably have to talk about this again, but that would be later. He didn’t want to lose Nene, his best friend and almost little sister. She meant a lot to him. But he also couldn’t let her spill his secret, no matter what. It would crush him too much. She seemed to have come to the realization that it would hurt him and damage their relationship to the point that it would be irreparable. He was pretty sure she didn’t want that. And to avoid that, she couldn’t tell Tsukasa about his feelings. 

“Oh, I had a suggestion. So, you see, during the confession scene, I think we should make the alchemist and the knight kiss. Then, the princess could come on the stage and see them. It would be so doki doki exciting and wonderhoi. So dramatic and cool. Way more tragic,” Emu said enthusiastically as if she hadn’t suggested something that made Rui’s blood go cold. A kiss scene. There was no way his heart could take it. Even if it was a stage kiss and would mean nothing, he would still be able to feel Tsukasa’s lips on his, feel his warmth emitting from his breath, and taste him. The line between reality and fiction would surely blur for his stupid little emotional heart and he would never get over it. His dreams would be plagued by the kisses (because they would have to practice, of course) and his resolve would crumble.

“Yeah… Let’s not do that,” Rui rejected as cooly as he could. 

“Why?” Emu looked dejected. She may as well have become a sad abandoned puppy for how she looked at him. The director actually hadn’t thought of a reasonable excuse. Clearly, he couldn’t tell them the truth, with Tsukasa being literally next to him and it would also probably start another fight between him and Nene.

“I don’t know about that Emu.” Tsukasa looked very red. “I-I mean why do we have to have a kiss scene anyways?” Rui was actually confused as to why Tsukasa was also against it. Usually, he would say something like ‘I suppose I will have to do those sorts of scenes in the future too’ or ‘a star like me can do something like that.’  

“You too, Tsukasa?” Emu whined and hugged Nene tightly for comfort. 

“Wouldn’t it be a great challenge for a star like you?” Nene mocked.

“S-shut up. Why are you so insistent on adding a scene like that?” Tsukasa stuttered, looking twice as red as before.

“Now, now Tsukasa. You have me curious. Why do you not want to add such a scene?” Rui asked, looking at his star curiously. 

“You also said we shouldn’t add this scene,” The blonde actor retorted.

“Yes, but that’s because I think the scene wouldn’t go as well as Emu said. What about you? You seem a little flustered about this,” the taller boy teased. He was playing with fire, he knew. He really, really had to know though. 

“I- well… um…” his star sputtered.

“Yes?”

“F-fine! It’s because I’ve never kissed anyone before,” Tsukasa admitted loudly, eyes shut in shame.

“What!!!” the other three exclaimed. That was such an innocent and cute reason. It made so much sense too. It seemed that Tsukasa had always been oblivious to romance. Rui was about to tease him about it when Nene decided to bully him instead.

“Look at the innocent little boy. Didn’t even get his first smooch. What, a star like you can’t even pull?” she mocked, a little cruelly, he might add.

“H-hey! That’s not true! A star like me can get anyone he wants. Anyone would be lucky to kiss an amazing flamboyant star such as me,” Tsukasa nervously boasted, faking confidence.

“Haha, sure. Then why didn’t you get your first kiss yet?” she pointedly asked, eyes looking way too smug.

“W-well, it’s because I’ve been so busy trying to become a star that I never had time,” Tsukasa said with a wobbly smile. 

“Never had time for a little kiss. Ha, what a joke,” the girl laughed.

“Nene!” Emu intervened, disappointed. “Don’t make fun of him. He has his reasons, you know.” Nene dropped the subject. 

“S-so, I’ve always wondered… um, what’s it like? You know, to kiss someone.” The blonde was looking at the floor a little nervously.

“Depending on who you kiss, it may be different,” Emu explained seriously, eyes shining. “See, when I kiss Nene, my heart goes boom boom boom and then there’s fireworks exploding in my belly like bam and I feel all kira kira. It just feels right, like that’s the way it’s supposed to be.” Like a puzzle piece fitting. That made sense for their kisses to feel like that, they were soulmates after all. “But when I kissed someone else when I was younger, it didn’t feel like that at all.”

“You’ve kissed someone… other than Nene?!?” Tsukasa exclaimed.

“Is that so shocking? Emu is a very pretty and fun girl, so of course, she would have kissed other people when she was younger,” her girlfriend said with a very serious expression. Emu turned slightly pink.

“Aww Nene! You’re so sweet. But I know that ever since I met you and kissed you for the first time, I could never find anyone better than you and never kiss another woman since they cannot compare to you. Hehe.” Nene blushed furiously and turned to the side.

“I-I know.” Emu hugged her tightly and attacked her with kisses. They were just the cutest and most wholesome couple Rui had ever met. He always liked seeing them interact and the subtle ways in which both of them changed each other for the better. The subtle smiles and light touches when no one could see; it made Rui chuckle lightly at their antics. Emu let go of a very red and embarrassed Nene.

“I’m sure Nene also kissed a lot of other girls when she was younger. She’s also very, very pretty and super duper nice. Everyone likes her and would be lucky to be kissed by her,” Emu proudly said.

“E-Emu”

“W-well, who was your first kiss if it wasn’t Nene?” Tsukasa asked.

The cheerful girl turned sad. It seemed like it wasn't a happy story. 

“My first kiss was with a girl I had a crush on in Elementary school. She had shiny kira kira red hair and I thought she was pretty. She was my best friend and we would play on the slides together every day.” Emu put on a sad smile. “One day, we were going down the slides and she started talking about how girls in her class were talking about their first kiss. She asked me if I had had mine and I said no. She also hadn’t had hers. So I said, ‘Oh then we can try’ and she said there were no boys around. I said ‘No silly, we can try together.’ She laughed nervously haha and told me that I’m funny and to not joke like that. I told her I wasn’t joking and that I was gonna prove it. I went and kissed her then she pushed me on the ground. I scrapped my knees and it hurt a super duper lot. But not as much as it hurt to see the look of disgust the girl had on her face. She was wiping her face super duper fast and spitting on the ground. She told me I was gross and ran away crying. The next day, she told everyone and no one wanted to be my friend anymore. We never saw each other again,” the poor girl re-enacted sadly. Nene hugged her tightly. To think something like that had also happened to Emu, such a sweet bright girl. He felt a special kind of kinship with her. 

“W-What!!! That’s horrible! I didn’t know you went through such hardships because you like girls,” the blonde actor exclaimed.

“I’m sorry this happened to you, Emu. You didn’t deserve that,” Rui said sincerely, with a sad sympathetic smile.

“You wouldn’t understand. You’ve never been through any hardships because you like someone. Clearly, because you’re never had your first kiss!” Nene snapped.

“Now, now, Nene. I know you were also hurt, but let’s not attack each other. He’s done nothing to deserve that harsh treatment from you,” Rui defended.

“Did you also have the same experience as Emu?” Tsukasa innocently asked.

“No.” She exhaled defeated. “No one at any of the schools I’ve been to has discovered I’m a lesbian except if I’ve told them. I’ve never been bullied for it, luckily. It’s just… I used to have a girlfriend back when Rui and I had stopped talking. We dated in secret and stuff. So to everyone, we were very close friends. We kissed and held hands and other stuff. She was my first of many things that have to do with relationships. One day, we were making out in her room and her parents came back early. They caught us and a fight broke out. They kicked me out. I didn’t see her for a week, then she came back to school and she told me that we should break up because she figured out that our little ‘fling’ was just a phase. She said her parents had forgiven her for her sin and set her up on dates with other guys so that she would be cured of her phase. It really hurt to be left like that.”

“Wh-huh? A phase? That’s not how that works!!!” Tsukasa screamed out.

“Don’t you think I know that?” she snapped.

“Ah! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say something insensitive.” the star backed down.

“Well, don’t comment stupid things then!” Nene was genuinely angry for once at him. She had a look of hurt and it was clear that that experience had marked her for the worse.

“Nene! No fighting!” Emu said.

“Fine!”

“...so, you’ve all gone through hardships because of your sexualities?” Tsukasa asked.

“And you haven’t?” Nene snapped again.

“No?”

“How?” Nene yelled. “How come your gay ass gets a pass? I don’t even look that much like a lesbian and I’ve sometimes heard some pretty derogatory comments. You don’t look straight in the slightest and you’ve never heard anything about it?”

“I’m sorry? People actually think I’m too much of a shining star to say anything about it, I suppose. Ha ha ha!” he bragged, as if talking about how you were not a victim of homophobia was something to brag about to your gay friends who have experienced it all their lives. Nene was about to start throwing hands again, so Rui decided to burst his little bubble.

“I’m sorry to say, but that’s just not true. If you’d listen to the things the people around you whisper about, you wouldn’t be bragging so much.” 

“Huh?” 

“Tsukasa, I’m sorry to say this, but they very much take digs at your sexuality, they just do it behind your back most of the time,” Rui said.

“N-no way! I don’t believe you,” Tsukasa exclaimed.

“Would I lie to you about this? Besides, sometimes they tell it to your face,” the director shrugged.

“No, they don’t.” Tsukasa was making a very expressive face of disbelief. It was almost comical.

“Yes, they do,” Rui said, exasperated. “Remember when one guy told you how ‘that walk made you look so flamboyant, the boys may start thinking you're a girl'?" 

“That was an insult???” Nene and Emu started laughing at him.

“Yes!” Rui chuckled.

“Wait! That guy also once told me ‘Must’ve had a rough night with Kamishiro yesterday. He must have gone deep’ like a week later. I asked him what he meant by that, then he snickered and told me it was because I had a sore throat. I don’t understand to this day what that meant! My vocal cords were just a little damaged because I caught a cold. What does that have to do with you? Was that also a homophobic insult?” There was no way he was going to explain that. 

“H-he said that? A-Aint no way!” Nene laughed so hard she almost started to cry. Emu looked at her severely.

“Nene! Stop laughing at him! That’s not nice!”

“So is anyone gonna explain what that meant?” Tsukasa looked at them almost pleadingly.

“I’m gonna pass,” Rui answered.

“It’s way funnier seeing you try to figure it out yourself,” Nene said, mockingly.

“Um… no thanks,” Emu said uncomfortably. Seems she had also understood the meaning behind the insult. 

“You guys are so mean!” Tsukasa exclaimed and flopped dramatically on the floor. 

“Anyways Nene, don’t be insulted that he’s ‘never faced any insults’. He has. His secret is that he’s oblivious to it.” Rui teased.

“Hey! I’m not-”

Suddenly, the door opened, making everyone flinch. They held their breaths to see who had found them; he hoped it wasn’t Shiraishi. Depending on who was standing at the door, their punishment for letting Emu break in could be light or them getting kicked out. 

“Fufu. What do we have here? A secret double date?” A voice could be heard from the door. There was a flash of pastel pink hair and Rui instantly knew that they were safe.

“Hello to you too Mizuki. Good to see you came to school for once,” he calmly greeted.

“Akiyama?!?” Tsukasa exclaimed.

“Oh! Rui’s friend! Wonderhoi!” Emu cheered. Nene stayed quietly behind her girlfriend, having retreated from the view of this ‘stranger’. Mizuki approached them and waved.

“Hehe~ Long time no see, Wonderlands X Showtime.” They stopped right behind Rui and put their weight on him, resting their crossed arms on top of his head. “So, what’s this little meeting on the rooftop all about? And with a student not from our school too.”

“Mizukiiiii, You’re heavy~” he whined.

“And you’re weak because you don’t eat your vegetables, purple boy. Now suck it up and tell me about what you guys were talking about,” they retorted teasingly, rustling his hair aggressively. 

“We were talking about our upcoming show.” Tsukasa looked to the side nervously. He should not have done that. Mizuki had keen eyes and saw every interesting detail around them. By seeing him acting all shy, they might assume that they had an embarrassing conversation. At least, for Tsukasa (which Rui supposed was right). They might assume something absurd, like let’s say, that they teased Tsukasa about his huge crush on his director, which the blonde was still thankfully oblivious to. Mizuki might even try some teasing of their own, which could end up bad for him.

“Is that so? Hehe~” Rui could feel their mischievous smile. 

He was about to rebuff when Emu exclaimed:

“Nuh-uh! Don’t lie Tsukasa! Lying is not good. Bad Tsukasa!” she stood up, bringing a surprised Nene with her who was clinging to her arm, and tapped the top of the blonde's head. She looked at him with ‘anger’ and her finger pointing at him like an angry mother scolding her child. Tsukasa had put his hand on his head in defense and looked at her in repentance.

“I’m sorry! I won’t lie again, oh great Emu,” he said dramatically.

“Hmpf!” she pouted and went back to sit down at the same spot that she had been, Nene shyly following her. Mizuki was laughing at them and it made Rui shake a little bit because of the force. “Akiyama, we were talking about our first kiss since Tsukasa’s never had one and there’s a kiss scene in our next show.”

“Don’t tell them that, Emu!” Tsukasa exclaimed and got out of his seat to shut Emu up by putting his hand on her mouth. Nene glared daggers at him but made no move to stop him.

“Ehhhh? Is that so? You’ve seriously never had your first kiss yet?” his rooftop friend said with surprise.

“Told you he was innocent,” Rui added with a cat-like grin pointing at Tsukasa who was incredibly red. 

“I know, but this, honestly, exceeds my expectations.” Mizuki put one of their elbows on his head and he could feel the weight of their head as they rested it on their hand. 

“R-Rui!!!” the boy yelled. He retracted his hand from Emu’s mouth and stood up so fast he might have jumped. The blonde boy approached him with heavy steps, dropped down to his knees in front of him, and covered Rui's mouth with his hand. Tsukasa was looking at him with pleading eyes, begging for Rui to stop embarrassing him in front of their junior, and his face was as red as a tomato. 

The hand on his mouth was an unexpected move. One that made the purple-haired director tense up for a few seconds and reassess. The boy he liked's hand was warm and Rui's lips were brushing the skin of the palm of his hand. He could kiss him right there, right now. Not even a millimeter separated his lips from his hand. Just a quick little kiss. He wanted to do it so, so bad. 

Instead, he decided to lick him. That was one hundred times funnier and would make Tsukasa embarrassed. It was a far more platonic action to do than kissing him. Hopefully. It would be in character for him to do something weird like that anyways. 

Tsukasa immediately retracted his hand, screamed, and looked at it as if it would bite him. He somehow turned redder, so much so that Rui thought he was going to faint from the rush of blood coming to his face. The smaller boy wiped his hand on his pants and looked at him with many emotions, shock, embarrassment, and confusion. A lot of confusion. Probably because he didn’t know how to feel about this, which was hilarious. 

“R-R-Rui!!! W-wha- huh? W-why did you do that???” the boy screamed in a high-pitched voice. It was a completely different octave than usual and made Rui want to try to embarrass him like that again, to hear it once more. Mizuki had finally detached themselves from his head and was on the floor crying with laughter. They were gasping for air and their laugh came from deep within. He was glad to see his friend enjoying themselves so openly, it was a rare sight. Emu was giggling and Nene was quietly trying to keep her amusement from showing. Rui looked at Tsukasa with an innocent look.

“Do what~” 

“L-lick my hand! That’s so gross.” Rui fake pouted and put his hand on his heart.

“My, Tsukasa. I’m hurt! To think you would think of me that way. To think that my saliva grosses you out. Oh, my poor heart. How will I recover from such an insult from the World Future Star himself,” he fake-cried.

“Tsukasa,” Emu pouted. “Don’t make Rui cry!” Nene fake glared at him. 

“Arrgh! Fine, fine! I-it was not… gross then. Happy!” Such a weird thing to say. Rui laughed softly at the absurdity. Tsukasa ‘angrily’ stomped away to sit down as far away as possible from the offender in the little circle/pentagon/irregular shape thing they had going on.

The group calmed down and Mizuki said:

“Fiou. I haven’t had a laugh like this in a little while.” They wiped a tear from their eye with a big smile. They sat next to Rui and rested their head on his shoulder. “You two are always an entertaining duo. I’m glad I came to school today to see this hehe~”

They breathed out a pleased sigh and continued their speech:

“So, anyways, I’m guessing Tsukasa’s the only one in your group that hasn’t gotten his first kiss yet, right?”

“Yup, I had mine in Elementary school, while Nene had hers in middle school,” Emu replied in a singsong voice.

“That’s not true! I’m not the only one!” the star exclaimed. “Rui hasn’t had his yet either.” He looked at him all smug, thinking he had embarrassed him. Rui just shrugged and let him think he wasn’t alone for a little longer. Mizuki looked at Tsukasa confused and spoiled the surprise.

“Ummm, I don’t know where you got that idea, but that’s not true.” They nudged him. “Rui, did you seriously tell him that? I’m hurt!”

“I never said anything like that,” the purple-haired annoyance smoothly said.

“W-what!!! You’ve had your first kiss already?” Tsukasa looked surprised and slightly hurt. He was going to ignore the second emotion for now. 

“Fufu~ Now why did you think otherwise? What, did you think someone like me couldn’t have possibly had my first kiss? I’m hurt Tsukasa,” he fake-cried again.

“I would never think that! Argh, you’re putting words in my mouth again!!! I just- I just assumed that you hadn’t since you didn’t say anything when Emu and Nene told their stories.” He nervously fiddled with his fingers and looked away. 

“Enough of your theatrics you two. Geez, Rui. I want to know why you didn’t mention anything huh?” They raised their head and looked him straight in the eyes with a tense expression. “Did you… feel embarrassed about it?” Mizuki’s look hadn’t changed but Rui could tell they were feeling self-conscious. Damn, he hadn’t meant to make Mizuki feel that way. He should come clean and reassure them.

“No, that’s not it at all. It just wasn’t my turn to share yet and also because the reveal that I’ve already had my first kiss was funny,” he said, patting their head affectionately.

“Geez, not the hair. It was all cute before! Now it’s ruined. So mean Rui~” Rui laughed at them as they tried to rearrange their hair with a mean affectionate look on their face. The director looked at his troupe and saw that Tsukasa was, as always, confused. Emu looked the same as usual, smiling brightly and Nene looked at him in horror as if she had just discovered that he exploded the school or something. Seemed she was the only one to put two and two together as to who was his first kiss. She didn’t have to look at him like that though. 

“Ummm, so like, who was it?” Tsukasa asked.

Mizuki looked at him with a mischievous look in their eye and went to sit on Rui's lap as if he was a couch and they had come back from an exhausting day of work.

“Well, my dear senior. The special someone who stole your dazzling director’s first kiss was…” They dramatically paused and looked at their ‘audience’. “Yours truly, the cutest being on the planet, Mizuki Akiyama!” they exclaimed, pointing dramatically at themself.

-

Rui Kamishiro had been fifteen years old when he got his first kiss

He had finally met someone who he could relate to, a boy with short pastel hair and pink eyes. He was his junior. The boy was ostracized by his peers just like him, for being weird. They had different reasons for being rejected by others; Rui was hated for his hobbies (he had somehow managed to keep it under wraps that he was gay) and the boy was despised for being ‘girlish’, liking cute things and overall not fitting into society’s standards of what a boy 'should' look like. Rui didn’t understand why liking bows and pink things were considered girly, but he had also never understood why liking boys as a boy was ‘unnatural’ either. All and all, they shared the same struggle of being hated for who they were, and that brought them closer.

The boy, Mizuki, had quickly become his rooftop bestie after they had met on top of that cursed place they called safe. Rui remembered sitting down, reading a play he had recently come across in the library all alone and feeling mostly peaceful. The dull pain from loneliness was mostly bearable since he was distracted. He could hear the wind blow, the birds chirping, and the sounds of the students having fun. The long-haired boy tried to ignore the last one and the little ache that came with the reminder that he could never fit in. He tried to focus on the play, but his thoughts kept pulling him back to a dark path. Again. The words coming from the little voice in his head were loud and drowned out everything else. He could hear the classics like a weirdo, freak, no one likes you.  He could also hear his head scream  why are you still here, just die already, the gate can be easily bypassed. Jump jump jump,  he could hear swirling in his head. 

This was the second day in a row that they were unbearable. The marks from the thick rope he had used to try to hang himself yesterday were still visible. It was atrociously red and ugly. He had tried to hide it by buttoning up his collar, but he had a feeling they could still see. The stares today had been awful, mocking, and despising. The whispers had been all he could hear throughout the day, but they were unintelligible. He had walked through the corridors in a zombie-like state, wanting to go home as soon as possible and write in his journal. 

That was how he ended up on the rooftop. The noises in the corridors were too overpowering and he needed a breather. But his thoughts never cut him any slack and he was tired. So, tired. He sluggishly got up and shuffled his feet to the metal gate where he could see the students in the yard having fun. He heard their laughs and it fuelled his thoughts. It would be so easy to climb the gate and just… jump. He would do it head first so he could break his neck and blood would seep into the yard. The students would either finally stop laughing or mock him. He didn’t care anymore, he wanted it to end. They laughed and mocked him no matter what, dead or alive. He grabbed the gate and…

The door opened and in walked a boy with pastel hair. He had a dead look in his eyes as he walked in. They made eye contact and Rui immediately put on his neutral cat-like grin. 

“What are you doing up here? I’ve never seen you before,” the smaller boy asked. 

“Probably the same as you…” he answered. They continued to talk until they had to go back to class. The next day, Rui returned to the rooftop and saw the same shade of pastel already there. He went back the next day and again and again… Mizuki was always there. The red on his neck faded, never to return again. 

It had been a month since they met. They had found peace in each other’s loneliness. They both knew it was temporary and that their happiness would soon fade once Rui graduated. They were sure to slowly lose touch. The genius boy was going to go to an elite school and Mizuki didn’t even want to apply there in a year. Still, they continued to feel companionship in each other and fill a little bit of that lonely hole in their hearts. 

That day, they had been sitting on the rooftop, eating lunch in silence. Rui had a vegetable sandwich, but he didn’t even care. It tasted bitter, but everything tasted bitter these days. Mizuki was looking more down than usual. That usually meant that they either had gym or that someone had said mean things to them. It was usually from the ‘macho alpha’ bros of their school who kept repeating that boys should be a certain way. Personally, Rui thought that what a boy looked like didn't matter, as long as they were happy. He appreciated men in all their forms and different kinds of beauty.

“Is something wrong? Did they say something again?” Rui asked, slightly concerned.

“The usual,” the frowning boy answered.

“Ah. You know it’s not true. How you express yourself has nothing to do with your gender. And you’re not weird for liking cute things,” Rui reassured fond smile on his face.

“It’s not that, it’s just… why couldn’t I be born normal? Why couldn’t I like the things for boys or be tall enough to look manly? Why is this gender thing so confusing? What does it even mean ‘to be a man’?” Mizuki frustratingly said. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t answer that. I can’t give you a clear definition. I just know I’m a boy and that’s pretty much it. I’ve never thought about it,” the messy-haired middle schooler apologized.

“Ugh!” he yelled at the sky. Rui didn’t understand why his friend was asking such questions. He had never thought about gender and its definition. Perhaps he would question it more if he was constantly mocked for ‘looking like a girl’ and liking ‘girly’ things. He’s been called a girl before, but that was because people were insulting his sexuality, so he didn’t really care. Girls were cool, but he wasn’t one.

“Hey, you like guys, right,” Mizuki asked softly. 

“Yeah, why bring it up?” Rui raised his eyebrow.

The pastel-haired boy scooted closer until they were face to face. Mizuki was looking at the ground and slowly brushing his finger on the floor. 

“Well… if we kissed, would that mean that I’m a boy, beyond a shadow of a doubt? Then, this mess in my head would clear up and it won’t matter what they say anymore,” Mizuki proposed. It made Rui tense and extremely nervous. 

“… but… I…um… I’ve never kissed anyone before. A-and-“

“It’s fine. I-I’ve never kissed anyone either,” he admitted, painfully. “It’s not like anyone would kiss someone like me anyways. I’m too girlish for girls to want me. We… we can try together.” Mizuki looked at him expectantly. The shorter teen looked at his lips and Rui swallowed harshly, face burning. He could see the light pink on Mizuki’s cheeks and the way his pastel locks fell to his ears. 

“Okay…” he breathed out. 

Mizuki put his hands on the ground next to him and slowly approached his face towards him. He put his hand on his knotted hair and slowly slid it down towards his cheek. Mizuki closed the gap between them and pressed his lips onto his. 

It felt so weirdly wrong. It wasn’t the kiss itself that was bad or anything, there was just something fundamentally wrong with him kissing Mizuki. There were no explosions, no warmth in his chest, just this weird feeling in his stomach. He didn’t know why he had such a reaction and it didn’t make any sense. It was like fate was telling them that they were not meant to be together like that. Which was good. He didn’t feel attracted to Mizuki that way and he had always known they were not soulmates. Perhaps, if he could see another soulmate string for platonic partners then he could see that they were most likely that. He understood Mizuki and the boy understood him. But they would never be more than friends and that kiss proved it.

They pulled away and Mizuki looked at him like he’d just realized something. He sat back down next to him and was silent for a while. It was honestly unnerving. Rui wasn’t sure if they should talk about what just happened or if he should let him talk first.

“I… I think… I don’t… I…” the pastel-haired boy searched for his words.

“Take your time,” Rui reassured.

“I don’t think… I’m a boy…” Mizuki said.

“Huh? What does that mean?” the yellow-eyed middle schooler exclaimed.

“I… There’s always been this deep feeling of wrong inside of me. Like the body I was born with… it didn’t make sense with what my brain wanted. It’s not just about the cute things or the pink stuff. It’s something that’s deep in me.” Rui didn’t understand. 

“So does that mean… you’re a girl?” Rui asked, confused. 

“I don’t know, okay! Maybe! But it still doesn’t feel right! This gender thing is so confusing!” Mizuki exclaimed, distressed.

“Hey, it’s fine. Boy, girl, it doesn’t matter. You’re still Mizuki and, most importantly, I’ll always be waiting for you on the rooftop,” Rui reassured. Mizuki smiled at him and they stayed the rest of the lunch break in a comfortable silence.

A few days later, Mizuki and he were on the rooftop once again.

“Hey, can you try using they/them pronouns when referring to me?” Mizuki asked shyly. 

“Sure!” Rui accepted without even batting an eye. If that was something his friend needed to feel better, then he could do something that small. Rui smiled at them and they smiled back. 

As the days went on, Mizuki and Rui hung out on the rooftop. On days when his friend felt unsure of their gender, Rui was there to remind them that they are Mizuki and that’s all that mattered. His pastel-haired bestie had told him that the kiss they shared that day had helped them understand themselves more. Rui had no clue how, but he supposed that was a good thing. They asked him if they could try again sometimes because it may help them figure more stuff out. Rui gave his okay and they’ve only done it a few more times when Mizuki was feeling particularly dysphoric. Rui has fate in his friend and he knew that they would eventually be able to love themselves and accept themselves. They could figure it out, be it boy, girl, or something else. Rui loved his friend and would always be there to remind them that they are loved.

-

“W-WHATTTT!!!” Tsukasa and Emu yelled. 

“Fufu~ It’s true. It happened when we were in middle school.” He looked down at Mizuki and pushed them off of him. They glared at him and went to sit back down next to him with their arms crossed over their chest. 

“It was also my first kiss.” The group all looked at them with wide eyes. “I know right? Surprising. How can a cute person like me have gotten their first kiss with such an uncute person? Sad.” They put their arm over their head as if they were about to faint. Rui rolled his eyes.

“W-wait!” Nene spoke up. “Ummm, Rui. I…I thought you only liked masc presenting people.” She fiddled with her fingers and looked at him nervously.

“Well, that’s true.” He put his finger up to his cheek and tilted his head slightly. “But Mizuki’s a special case. Fufu~” 

“And well, I like fem-presenting people, especially cute girls.” They were talking about their crush, this Enanan person. “But, yeah. Rui’s a special person, so I’m okay with my first kiss having been from him.” They lightly pushed him and he pushed back. 

“That makes sense,” Emu said with a giggle and Nene nodded along, confused.

“S-so, you guys were together. Or are you still together?” Tsukasa asked. 

“What, jealous?” Mizuki teased. “Don’t worry, pretty boy. I won’t steal your man.” 

“Mizuki…” the director said with a warning.

“W-what? What’s that supposed to mean?” Tsukasa blushed. 

“To answer your question, no. We’ve never dated or anything. It was just a kiss with no romantic feelings. And a few more too, but that’s beside the point.” Mizuki smiled mischievously. 

“M-more than one???” the other three exclaimed.

“Fufu~” He was having fun telling them about this lore in his life. It was so funny seeing his troupe mates surprised. He always liked their reactions to things. 

“Yeah. Gotta admit Rui’s kisses are something else.” They turned to him with a plotting smile and winked at him. Oh, they were up to no good. Rui was curious, so he decided to see what they were going to do. Their antics were always entertaining anyways. “Why, only one wouldn’t be enough. He kisses so well, how could I resist?” They put their chest flush on his arm and used their hand to grab his chin and turn his face towards them. Oh, so that was what they were trying to do. He should put a stop to this, but Rui was always curious about his troupe mates' reactions, especially Tsukasa’s. 

He rolled his eyes and closed them. Mizuki’s face approached him and he could feel their breath. They slowly passed their finger on his lips to tease him and…

“W-what are you doing!” Tsukasa screamed. Mizuki let him go and barrelled on the floor laughing. Rui also softly laughed. It was the reaction he was expecting.

Or not.

When he turned to look at Tsukasa, he saw an acute look of hurt in his eyes. He had expected him to be flustered or even embarrassed, but not like that. Did that mean that he finally figured out his feelings? Was it over for Rui? Was this little game he was playing by himself over and he lost? Just like that? He was tempted to apologize but stopped himself because that would be too suspicious. 

Tsukasa’s look turned confused for a second and that was when Rui knew he was safe for now. His star was still stupidly oblivious to his big crush on Rui. But his reaction might make him question some things. Like why he felt hurt when seeing Rui almost getting kissed by his friend. That was not a normal friend reaction at all, but hopefully, Tsukasa wouldn’t know that. Rui hoped he would rationalize his feelings as something other than romantic.

That was a close one. Rui felt his breath release as Mizuki calmed down. 

“I didn’t want to see that! Disgusting! And keep that stuff to yourself. I don’t care that Rui’s a good kisser or something,” Nene yelled at them, face scrunched up. “Imagine learning that stuff about your sibling and seeing that. Bleh!” Good to know that he was like Nene’s brother to her. Maybe she actually wasn't that mad at him anymore.

“You’re so mean to me Nene~” the director whined. 

“Ooh~ that was such a Wonderhoi scene. We should use that in our show. So are you guys like, very very close friends who sometimes kiss?” Emu asked.

“I mean, I guess,” they shrugged. “Rui’s my ride or die. He’s the only man I would die for if he were attacked by sharks. The other people I would do the same for are all girls.”

“Thank you Mizuki, I would also die for you if you were attacked by sharks,” Rui replied.

 He turned to his troupe mates and told them with a serious look:

“I would also die for all of you if you were attacked by sharks. I would let the shark eat me and then it wouldn’t be hungry anymore to eat you guys.”

“Nooooo Rui! Don’t die.” Emu cried.

“No one has to die!!!” Tsukasa exclaimed. “Where did the shark even come from?” 

“Would you not die for me if I was attacked by a shark, Tsukasa?” Rui said innocently.

“I- what even is this hypothetical? Now I’m scared of going back to the beach with you this summer. I have a feeling something bad will happen.” Tsukasa looked at him with suspicion.

“But, Tsukasaaa~ The last three times went fine~” Rui whined.

“We have a different definition of fine. And did you count that one time we were stuck on an island as a beach outing? Seriously?” the blonde boy exclaimed, incredulous.

“Details.” The purple-haired director flopped dramatically on Mizuki with his hand on his forehead as if he was a fainting maiden. “Mizuki~ Did you hear that? Tsukasa doesn’t feel the same. Oh, my poor heart. How can I recover?” Nene was glaring at him from behind her girlfriend. Emu giggled at their antics. 

“It’s okay, boy friend. You still have me.” Mizuki patted his head.

“Boyfriend?” Tsukasa exclaimed.

“Should have said you’d die for him in case of a shark attack. He’s mine now, no takebacks. Isn’t that right, my little skrunkly purple blueberry muffin~?” Mizuki joked.

“At least someone appreciates me,” he fake-sobbed.

“No, Rui, don’t cry!” Emu cried. “Tsukasa’s just being mean. I would also die for you if a shark attacked you and I’m sure Nene would too.”

“Don’t involve me in this,” Nene whispered and nudged her girlfriend. Rui looked at Tsukasa with the best sad kitten expression he could muster and the boy finallly cracked.

“Fine! I would die for you if a shark attacked you! Happy?” he used his loud voice to say. Rui laughed and straightened up away from Mizuki. They spent the rest of the lunch period joking around with his rooftop friend until the bell rang and they went to class.

Chapter Text

That evening, Wonderlands X Showtime met on their stage to discuss the second part of the show preparations. That was their only goal for today. Well, that and rehearse while using the script. What was left of the show preparations were the rehearsals, costume making or buying, choreographing and practicing the waltz, building and designing the props, building the mechanism and device to help change the decor faster, programming his robots for the few minor roles they were needed for, adjusting the lighting… It seemed like a lot, but they also had plenty of time.   

They divided the tasks. Rui would build everything that needed to be built as usual, plus prepare the lighting and do some coding. Tsukasa suggested reusing some of the costumes they already had from previous performances and tweaking parts of them. He would do that task. As for the outfits they did not have, such as the two wedding attires, Rui said he would ask Mizuki for their aid. With Emu’s help, Nene would be choreographing and helping the two boys learn the waltz since the greyish-haired girl had created the playlist that included all the music they would use. She had chosen to make them dance to the song Honeymoon Un Deux Trois which Rui would sing. She had already found an instrumental version and forwarded it to them.   

The second part of the rehearsal consisted of going through the entire script. They went to the Sekai to practice since the Virtual Singers wanted to see how their story turned out and the troupe also wanted their input on it. The first run-through of the script went… passably. Emu didn’t grasp her role as the cold queen and Rui had a feeling it may take a little time. He had faith in her though, she was an incredibly good actor. She just needed a little time to practice doing such an unfamiliar role for her. Nene was doing good. She didn’t really have a big role, but she played it very well. The change in her character at the end of the story, when she found out that the knight wanted to break up, was well done, even if it was the first time that she read the script as a group. Tsukasa was able to play the first part of his role to perfection already. He had already memorized his lines, so he didn’t even use the script. Rui was the same; able to play the first part perfectly and having memorized the script already.   

The part where they both struggled was from the confession scene and on. Tsukasa kept getting extremely flustered at Rui’s words and fumbling his lines. His reaction also made the director lose his footing and be unable to continue on. Nonetheless, they somehow managed to finish the run through and their audience was loudly cheering with tears in their eyes.   

“Bravo!” a plushie exclaimed.  

“Amazing!” another said.  

“Such a sad ending fweh!” Miku cried.  

“W-why did the knight have to kill the alchemist? The queen is so cruel!” Rin sniffled.  

“You guys really managed to create an amazing story. I’ve never doubted it, but this went beyond my wildest expectations. I’m certain this will be a success,” KAITO proudly said, wiping tears from his eyes.  

“Ah, well, we still need to practice. I’m sure the final product will be ten times better!” Tsukasa exclaimed.  

“Are you hung up on those scenes you two couldn’t get through that well?” Luka asked.  

 “You just need a little practice to get over your initial embarrassment. It’s normal for you to feel that way. You’ve never done romance in your shows before, so this will be a new experience,” KAITO reassured.  

“You’re right! I will practice and the next time we rehearse, my performance will be so great, you will all wonder if I’m truly in love with Rui!” Tsukasa exclaimed, not even embarrassed at saying such a ridiculous thing. Rui didn’t have to see his star’s performance to ‘wonder if the boy was in love with him’. He already knew. Even so, he couldn’t help but blush furiously at his words.   

“Then, I suppose I’ll have to try and match you, my star,” Rui smoothly said, but his face didn’t match his tone of voice.  

“Wonderhoy Tsukasa! This show will be the most super duper awesome one out there. So that means I’ll have to practice lots and lots to be the most cruelest of queens ever!” Emu said enthusiastically, jumping up and down. Miku and the twins cheered her on. It was hard imagining Emu as someone cruel or cold, but Rui was excited to see it.  

“Guess I’ll also have to do my best,” Nene added.  

“That’s settled! Let’s make this show a success!” Tsukasa yelled happily. “Emu?”   

“Won-won-wonderhoy!” she exclaimed with her hand movement, and everyone repeated. After that, they bid their goodbyes to the inhabitants of the Sekai and went back to the real world. Emu and Nene decided they would start writing the choreography so that they could practice as fast as possible. They said their goodbyes and went in the direction of Emu’s house. Rui and Tsukasa went their separate ways to their respective houses.  

The next day was a Saturday, so they met up earlier and had more time to practice. Emu and Nene said that they had made progress on the choreography and that at the pace they were going, it would be completed in three days. They would then start learning the steps which would be torture for Rui’s heart since he would have to be so close and touching Tsukasa. Well, that was a later problem that he preferred not to think about. They practiced with scripts again because the girls hadn’t yet had the time to entirely memorize their lines. They had been busy, after all, so he didn’t blame them. Also, they didn’t have his natural ability to retain information or Tsukasa’s weird ability to remember scripts super easily but nothing else.   

In the end, they had the same problem as the day before. The confession scene was too embarrassing for both of them. The troupe decided to call it a day and split up. Emu and Nene once again went together to continue choreographing the waltz at Emu’s. He was about to leave for his house to continue building the props when Tsukasa stopped him.   

“Can we practice a bit more? It’s really frustrating that I can’t get the confession scene right!” Tsukasa asked, a little agitated.  

“Sure, but we should really call it a day soon since it’s getting a bit cool,” Rui said and approached Tsukasa, ready to rehearse once more.  

“Okay, so let’s start from when I say ‘My shoemaker! That was amazing!’. That part,” the director suggested.  

“O-okay!” Tsukasa took a deep breath and turned into his character. Rui did the same and his eyes turned bright and soft.  

“My shoemaker! That was amazing! You dance so well, I can still feel my heart beating,” he said with as much love as he could muster and looked at Tsukasa with his hand clenched to the fabric of his shirt near his own heart. His lips were turned up into a genuine smile as he drank up the sight of his star actor. The blonde boy tried his best not to blush but looked shocked and out of breath as his character was supposed to. “You looked so beautiful right now. Always so dazzling.” He still couldn’t believe he had actually written something like this. It hit way too close to home because it applied a little too much to the one who was playing the role of the character his’ was confessing to. Still, the purple-haired teenager pushed on, took a deep breath, and grabbed Tsukasa’s hands as written in the script. He said his next line softly while looking straight into Tsukasa’s eyes fondly. “I think I’ve fallen madly in love with you, Antoine.” That was the name they had finally chosen to use for the knight when he disguised himself as a commoner to befriend the alchemist.  

“W-what!!!” Tsukasa said in character but blushing madly as he retracted his hands.  

“Please, just listen before answering,” Rui continued in a begging tone. “Ever since I was banished from the kingdom, I have been lonely. But you, Antoine, came into my life and changed that.” This was a character he had written with Tsukasa. He had let his fantasies run a little too wild with this story and was now living to regret it. Damn, his stupid heart.  

He saw Tsukasa’s brain explode from embarrassment. The smaller boy fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands. Rui let him take his breath and calm down lest he faint from the emotion. The director was blushing too but was somehow able to stay standing, unlike Tsukasa. The star looked up at him, still incredibly red, and frustratingly said:  

“H-How can you say that line so seriously and so convincingly?”  

“Fufu~ Who knows? Perhaps I was born for romance scenes. And here I thought I was only truly shining in villain roles,” Rui bragged.  

“Ugh! I’m jealous. Tell me your secret!” Yeah, no. He wasn’t about to do that. He had to come up with good advice on the spot. Or not.  

“Well, it’s my secret talent, I guess,” Rui teased.  

Tsukasa glared at him.  

“Alright, I’m just kidding my star. But seriously, don’t fret about it too much. Besides, as KAITO said, you just need practice and some getting used to the scene. It’s just the beginning, so we have lots of time to practice,” Rui reassured with a smile.  

“Alright then, let’s practice. From the beginning of the scene.”  

They rehearsed the scene a few more times and kept getting stuck on the same part. Tsukasa was getting more and more frustrated as they retried. After ten times, he snapped and said:  

“Fine! Let’s call it a day like you said! I’m clearly not ready to act out this scene!”   

“Now, now, my star. It’s okay, you’ll get it eventually. Maybe today isn’t your day. Let’s try again tomorrow,” Rui tried to calm him down. Tsukasa slowly stopped fuming and breathed deeply.  

“Hey, are you busy tonight?” Tsukasa asked, calmer.  

“Not really, I was thinking of continuing the construction of the props, but that was about it. Why?” Rui shrugged.   

“Well, I found this show from an American troupe online that seemed to use a device like the one you wanted to build. I’ve found a video of them with subtitles, so I was wondering if you wanted to come watch it with me at my house. Saki should be there, but I don’t think she’ll join us in watching it.”  

“Okay, let’s go then.” They packed their things and went to the Tenma household.   

The boys entered the house and saw that Saki was in the living room. She looked very cheerful today and Rui was happy to see her so high-spirited.  

“I’m home!” Tsukasa exclaimed flamboyantly.  

“Welcome back big brother. Oh, and hello Rui! I didn’t know you were coming. It’s always nice to have you over,” Saki said happily.   

“Hello Saki, glad to see you’re in high spirits.” Rui greeted her. He looked in her direction and saw three other heads turn around toward them; one with black straight hair, one with short grey hair, and one with wavy dusty rose hair. It seemed Saki’s girlfriends were over. They were sitting next to each other and in the middle of them was a mesh of tangled red strings all attached to the four of them.  

–  

 Rui had been seventeen years old when he found out that people could have many soulmates.   

Saki Tenma was an anomaly. To anyone else, she was the typical cheerful bubbly girl, and Rui supposed that was true. She was full of bright smiles which was probably just a Tenma trait and her voice always conveyed her happiness. Rui liked her; she was Tsukasa’s adorable little sister, how could he not?  

He had first found out that Tsukasa had a sister not long after the two boys had met from the star himself. He would talk about her often, brag about her accomplishments, mention random things about how he was happy to see her out of the hospital and enjoying herself… Rui knew even before meeting her that she was a great person.   

One day, Tsukasa invited him to his house to discuss their show. It was the first time he was invited to the Tenma's and the director was pretty nervous. He wondered who would be home; would the star’s parents be there? What about his sister? Would they be nice, or would they judge him? He had never been nervous to go to a friend’s house before. Well, there were two reasons for that. He was visiting his crush’s house and also… he didn’t have many friends that he visited their houses before.   

He had spent way too much time deciding on what to wear and then calling Nene in a panic. She had been fed off with his shit and told him to wear whatever. His childhood friend had also asked if this was a date or something, then when she learned it wasn’t, she hung up. Sure, this was not a date, but he still wanted to make a good impression on Tsukasa’s family. He had dramatically stared at the phone for far too long until he called Mizuki for advice. They told him to go casual but chic. He didn’t know what that meant. Rui eventually decided to go there in his usual attire.   

When he arrived, he knocked on the door and was greeted by a younger girl with wavy blonde hair and pink tips. She smiled brightly at him and said:  

“Oh, you must be Rui! Tsukasa told me you’d come. Come in, come in.” She gestured at him to enter and he did. Well, this was definitely Tsukasa’s sister. He took off his shoes.  

“It’s nice to meet you too, Saki. Tsukasa constantly talks about you and how you are the best little sister. I was getting curious, you know?” Rui smiled at her.   

“Ah, that’s so embarrassing.” Saki blushed. “Tsukasa also talks about you all the time. ‘Rui did this today’ and ‘My director had this idea’. He he! I’m glad he made such a good friend, ” Saki said with a knowing look. Seemed she too had figured out how Tsukasa felt for him. It made sense that she would know about her brother’s feelings. Rui assumed they were close. Still, the director couldn’t help but feel butterflies in his stomach at her words.   

“Ah. Well, I’m glad I’ve had such a positive impact on him then,” Rui tried to smooth it out. Saki looked at him, almost saying ‘I know what you are’. He knew she would approve if they were to get together, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to start a new relationship with someone knowing there was a chance he could be wrong about them being soulmates. The purple-haired boy would love it if it turned out that he and Tsukasa were soulmates, but he couldn’t be certain. He had thought that he and him were soulmates, but he was heartbreakingly proven wrong.   

They heard loud steps coming from the weird room that the stairs in the living room were leading to. He saw a flash of short blonde hair and his heart skipped a beat.   

“Saki! You could’ve told me he had arrived. Geez!” Tsukasa said with a soft smile. “Welcome Rui! This is my humble abode. Ha ha ha! You must have been wondering what a star like me’s house looks like, huh? Well, fear not, I live in a normal house.” Tsukasa posed brightly and Rui smiled.  

“This is a house truly fit for a star like you, Tsukasa.” Rui chuckled and played in his little game.   

“Saki, we’ll be in my room discussing our next show. If you need anything, you know where to find us.” The star gestured at him to climb the stairs.  

“Okay, I’ll be playing the piano. Don’t forget that your room has three walls.” Saki giggled and turned towards the piano. Wait, did she say three walls? Why would Tsukasa’s room have three walls? Wouldn’t it make it hard for him to have privacy? It had to be some sort of metaphor or innuendo he couldn’t understand. Maybe the walls were just very thin?  

They went up the stairs and… there was indeed a wall missing. Rui was shocked. Was there not enough room in this house for the Tsukasa’s to be slightly normal? Well, it was Tsukasa, but still. Except for the wall, everything looked… dull. The director had expected colors, posters, and fun decorations. This looked like a typical room. Not even a teenager’s room.   

“So, what did you want to discuss?” Rui started.  

The rest of the day had been normal. They discussed the show, did a bit of homework (Rui helped Tsukasa), ate some snacks and Rui showed him his new inventions. The piano was playing in the living room. It was a soothing, but sad sound.  

He saw Saki many more times after that. They started forming a sort of friendship and he really liked her. Not just because she was Tsukasa’s sister, but because she was a fun and cheerful person. He talked to her about his inventions and she also found them fun. The blonde girl came to their shows often and discussed the performances with them afterward.   

One day, he saw Saki in the streets with one of her friends. She had long black hair and icy-blue eyes. From where he was standing, he could also see red linking both girls together. Oh, so this was her soulmate. How nice! Saki and Rui made eye contact and waved at each other.  

“Oh, Rui! How are you?” Saki cheerfully greeted.  

“I’m well, thank you. What about you?” Rui small-talked.  

“I’m good, thanks. Oh, I should present you to my friend hehe~ This is Ichika Hoshino, my childhood friend. She’s also the singer and guitarist of Leo/Need” She gestured to the girl who shyly smiled.  

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you.” The girl, Hoshino, bowed.  

“Oh and Ichika, this is Rui Kamishiro, my brother’s… friend and the director of his troupe.” Again, she looked at him pointedly. He slightly looked to the side, not wanting to be scrutinized by her.    

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Hoshino. Being Saki’s… friend , we should get along.” He returned the same energy to her. The tall teenager wondered if they were together yet or if they were still pining. Childhood friend romances could be more complicated since the two would probably not want to change what they had or risk losing each other. He would ask her later, lest he did something to embarrass her.   

The three talked together for a while until Rui bid them goodbye and went to shop for some robotics parts. He didn’t get the chance to ask her about her friend before he saw her again. This time, she was with a girl with rose hair put up in a ponytail. The troupe had just performed a show and Rui and Tsukasa were backstage cleaning up. The two girls came up to them and Saki hugged her big brother. She praised their show and mentioned how he really looked like a star.   

What caught Rui’s eye was the red string, dangling between the two girls. He blinked once, twice, three times. It was still there. He was so confused. This certainly wasn’t the same girl, Hoshino, who was Saki’s soulmate. The hair wasn’t the same color and it was wavy, the eyes were a different color and this girl was slightly taller. Yet he couldn’t deny seeing the red string in all its glory, right in front of him.  

“Rui, you’re awfully quiet, what’s up?” Tsukasa asked, curious but worried. That snapped him out of his thoughts.  

“Ah! It seems I was lost in thought. I just had this new idea for a future show. Fufu~” Rui lied with his neutral cat-like grin.   

“Eh? What is it?” Tsukasa excitedly yelled and almost jumped on him. He had stars in his eyes. The purple-haired boy took a step back.  

“You’ll have to wait for our next brainstorming session.” Rui put his index to his mouth in a shushing motion and closed one of his eyes.   

“Gah! Come on!” the blonde boy whined. Rui always liked teasing and annoying the star. He was cute when he pouted. The inventor wanted to pinch his cheeks. “Ah! That reminds me! We haven’t introduced the two of you to each other yet.”    

“That’s right! This is Honami Mochizuki, another of my childhood friends. She plays the drum in our band.” Saki clapped her hands once and smiled.  

“H-hello! It’s nice to meet you, um…” Mochizuki shyly said.  

“Rui Kamishiro, director of Wonderlands X Showtime. The pleasure is all mine.” Rui dramatically bowed and made the girl get a little flustered. Tsukasa scolded him for being over the top and Saki laughed at his antics. They talked some more about different things until Emu and Nene joined them backstage. Emu lit up twice as brightly as before when she saw the rose-haired girl and tackled her in a hug.   

“Honami! He he~ You came to see our show. Wonderhoy!” the energetic girl exclaimed. It seemed the two were already friends, how nice. Nene stayed in the background and he saw her subtly glaring at Mochizuki. His friend had no reason to worry, after all, Emu and Nene were soulmates. Besides, Mochizuki had someone else as a soulmate, Saki.   

It was still weird that they were soulmates. He thought Hoshino was Saki’s soulmate. Perhaps he had seen wrong? Or perhaps he had imagined the string (imagining a string that no one else can see, which sounded even more bizarre). The bewildered boy buried his intense questions and confused thoughts. He also wanted to ask Saki if the two of them were together, but he didn’t know if Mochizuki would be comfortable with this sort of question. Rui once again resorted to asking another time.  

He didn’t have the time to ask her before he saw her again, this time with a girl with short grey hair and green eyes. Rui had been at school, walking towards the exit with Tsukasa and Nene when they saw them. The blonde boy immediately spotted them and yelled:  

“SAKI! My beloved sister! How blessed I am for you to come get me at school!” He ran to embrace her in a warm hug. She returned the hug. The girl next to Saki flinched at the loud noise and looked uncomfortable.   

That’s when he saw it, the red string. Attached to Saki and that girl’s pinkies. How? He blinked once, twice, three times and goddammit it was still there. This girl was not Mochizuki nor Hoshino. She was someone completely different, yet she was Saki’s soulmate. The evidence was in front of him. This went against everything he knew! How could Saki have not one, not two, but three soulmates? He thought someone could only have one!   

He was internally panicking when he saw that Tsukasa had pulled away from the hug and yelled:  

“What’s wrong, Saki? Why are you so upset?” The star was on the verge of tears. Rui saw that Saki wasn’t smiling as she usually was, and her typical bright aura was dim. Her shoulders were drooping, and her head was low.  

 “B-big brother… I-it’s my keyboard. I don’t know what happened, but it won’t work anymore…” she pitifully said. Tsukasa gasped in shock.  

 “That’s horrible! W-what should we do?” Tsukasa looked lost. He probably wanted to help his sister since he knew she found joy in playing with Leo/Need, but he could do nothing.  

“Can’t you buy a new one?” Nene said, done with the dramatics.  

“That’s a great idea, Nene! Let’s go to the music store right now!” Tsukasa enthusiastically exclaimed and started running in the direction of the nearest store. He didn’t go very far before being stopped in his tracks by the grey-haired girl’s words.  

“And how exactly are you going to buy a keyboard? They are super expensive, you know.” The girl sounded sarcastic, but it seemed it was simply her way of talking.  

“Ah! That’s right! Um… just how expensive are we talking about?” Tsukasa nervously said.  

“We are talking in the 10s of thousands of yen. That’s probably the cheapest ones. We probably want something of better quality that will last a long time, so it may be more,” the girl bluntly explained.  

“T-tens of thousands?” With a whole 80 decibels, Tsukasa screamed the number. “M-maybe we can all pitch in?” he stammered.   

“That’s way too expensive for me,” Nene simply said.  

“How about I just look at it instead?” Rui suggested. Everyone looked at him.   

“W-what?” Tsukasa exclaimed. “L-like you wanna try repairing it? You would do that?.” The shining boy had stars in his eyes. If simply repairing something was what it took to make Tsukasa shine brighter, he would easily do it.   

“You can just… repair it? Are you like a mechanic or something?” The grey-haired girl stared at him.   

“No, but how hard could it be?” Rui shrugged. “If you just give me one day to read about how keyboards work, I can try fixing it tomorrow.”   

“As expected of our genius director!” Tsukasa proudly boasted.  

“Rui! Thank you so much!” Saki smiled her thousand suns smile.  

“W-what do you mean ‘how hard can it be’? It’s a keyboard and we don’t know what’s wrong with it.” The grey-haired girl’s eyes widened.  

“Don’t worry about it. Should I drop by tomorrow at you guys’ house?” Rui asked.   

“Actually, the keyboard is somewhere else. I’ll just come back here tomorrow so I can show you,” Saki said.  

The next day, Rui repaired the keyboard and Saki hugged him tightly. He learned that the girl she was with was called Shiho Hinomori and that she was the bassist of Leo/Need. The red string was still swinging between them and Rui wanted to know if these two were together. Who was Saki dating? Was it one of the three, all three, or none? He didn’t get the chance to ask her before he saw her again.   

This time, Saki was visiting Phoenix Wonderland with all three of the girls. Rui was assaulted by an array of red. A whole ball of string was swinging between all four of them. Saki had three soulmates. Not only that, but the four girls were all soulmates. It was dizzying to see the amount of red and the confirmation that Saki had more than one soulmate. He didn’t know how to feel. Should he be happy, cry, or break down from confusion?   

The director dismissed himself to the bathroom to recollect his thoughts. After taking a few deep breaths, Rui concluded that he should be happy for Saki. She was a wonderful, bright, fun girl who deserved all the happiness in the world. So what if she had three soulmates? That was three times the amount of happiness she could have had with only one. Sure, he had previously thought it was one soulmate per person, but he didn’t know everything about soulmates and his quirk. So, new information like this sometimes made itself known to him at random times.   

Now he really wanted to know if Saki was in a relationship with the three of them. Personally, Rui would never be able to be in a polyamorous relationship as he felt that he would get jealous easily, but he knew Saki had enough love to make it work. Besides the four of them were soulmates, so they would be fine. He didn’t get the chance to ask her before he saw her again.   

Tsukasa had invited him to his house for dinner and to talk about their next show as usual. When they got there, they saw that Saki had invited her three childhood friends. They were going to have a sleepover together. How nice!   

Rui’s curiosity was getting the best of him, but he couldn’t ask Saki about her relationship with these girls in front of said girls. If he was wrong about this, it could lead to all sorts of problems and make things awkward. But he really wanted to solve this mystery, so he decided to ask the next best person; Tsukasa. Saki was out as a lesbian, at least she had told Rui about it in front of Tsukasa, so it was fine to discuss those things with him. He wouldn’t be outing her or anything.   

“So, Tsukasa… Saki and her friends seem really close, don’t you think?” he started and tried to give him a subtle hint about what the conversation was going to be about.  

“Well, yeah. They’ve known each other since childhood and they’ve been almost inseparable since. Well, before Saki got hospitalized. Now, since she’s out, they reconnected again just as much as before Saki got her illness and I’m so happy for her. Saki should enjoy having such close friends to the fullest.” Tsukasa happily started talking about his sister.  

“Fufu~ That’s great, but not exactly what I meant.” Rui smiled fondly. He had recently come to realize that Tsukasa was very, very innocent with everything romance. Rui wasn’t even sure if Tsukasa realized his own feelings toward the director. One of Tsukasa’s friends from school had recently developed a crush on some girl and kept talking about her. The blonde boy just thought the boy wanted to be friends with her. It was shocking how Tsukasa was oblivious to romance. Rui figured his head was just full of shows and stardom that he didn’t have space for that. He found it quite funny.  

“Then what did you mean?” the star asked skeptically.  

“I mean, do you know if Saki has a deeper relationship with one of them? Or maybe all of them,” Rui asked, full attention on Tsukasa.  

“Um… huh? Deeper relationship? Like best friends?” Tsukasa had one eyebrow quirked.  

 “No. You know what, I’m just gonna say it as bluntly as possible. Is she dating any of them? Or all of them?” the purple-haired seventeen-year-old laughed a little bit in exasperation.  

 “W-WHAT?” the other yelled.  

“Not so loud,” Rui shushed.  

“B-But huh? D-dating? Saki? Huh? W-where did you get that idea?” Tsukasa was having a crisis at the thought of his little sister having a relationship with someone, let alone three people.   

“It’s just that they seem close, like closer than friends. There’s this aura of something deeper between them, I don’t know how to explain it,” Rui ‘explained’. He wasn’t about to tell Tsukasa that the real reason he thought that was because there were many red strings of fate hanging between the girls. The star would think him crazy just like the others. He also didn’t like talking about the strings and tried to ignore them when possible. This wasn’t ignorable though. There were so many strings it may as well have become a ball of yarn at this point.   

“I-I-I…” Tsukasa stammered, looking horrified. What was that reaction? Shouldn’t he be happy for his sister?  

“Tsukasa, is something wrong?” He didn’t expect Tsukasa to act this way. Rui knew he wasn’t homophobic (or a repressed homophobe in the closet) since Saki had talked about her sexuality in front of him. Tsukasa didn’t care about her liking girls, so what was the problem?  

“It’s just… she didn’t tell me…” he answered sadly. “Have I been such a bad big brother that Saki won’t even tell me about her being in a relationship…” He had tears in his eyes. Ah! Rui hadn’t meant to make him so sad. He just wanted answers. He didn’t want the star to cry, that was unacceptable!  

“Tsukasa, it was just a theory. We don’t know if they are dating. I was just asking. You don’t have to look so sad,” Rui said, distressed.  

“Y-you’re right! We don’t know.” Tsukasa perked up. “So, let’s test that theory of yours.”  

“Eh?”  

“Let’s go check on them!” Tsukasa exclaimed. “Saki and the girls should be in her bedroom, so let’s go see.”  

“So… you want us to spy on them…” the purple-haired boy summed up.  

“What! No!” Tsukasa said, shocked at the accusation. “We are just going to check if you are right.” He bolted out of the room and Rui went after him. They quietly sneaked up to the girl’s room and waited behind her mostly closed door. They could clearly hear everything that was said inside and could see a little bit since the door had a tiny gap. The girls were discussing their next song and laughing. They looked like a normal friend group doing their band stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary.  

“You have to be more serious about this, Saki. If we want to become pros, we must give it our all and more,” Hinomori said, looking at the blonde girl fondly.  

“Shiho~ We can also take a break sometimes, you know?” Saki whined.  

“He he! She’s right. Let’s take a small break.” Mochizuki giggled. It didn’t convince the other girl.  

“Um, maybe this will change your mind,” Saki said mischievously. She then tackled the girl in a tight hug. Hinomori let out a noise of surprise and was kissed roughly by the other. The two other girls laughed and joined Saki in her attack. They kissed the grey-haired girl all over her face until she was so red, she was speechless.  

“Oh, alright,” the grey-haired girl relented, out of breath and flustered.  

Rui turned to Tsukasa who was so shocked, his eyes looked like they were about to pop off. He laughed internally at this display of emotion and turned to see what other shenanigans the girls were to do. He shouldn’t have turned his attention away from the star because a second later, he felt Tsukasa move and slam the door open. The girls all jumped and looked at the intruder horrified.  

“S-Saki!” he said, horrified.  

“B-big brother! W-what’s this all about?” Saki was looking nervous.   

“You didn’t tell me you were together with your childhood friends,” Tsukasa said, voice sounding betrayed. Saki now looked horrified.  

“I-it’s not what it looks like! W-were you spying on me?” Saki tried to change the subject. The three other girls were also looking scared.  

“Saki! Why didn’t you tell me?” His face fell and he looked betrayed. Saki held her breath. “I’m your big brother! Have I done such a bad job that you couldn’t tell me such things about your life?” Tsukasa had tears in his eyes again.  

“That’s not true! You’re the best big brother ever,” the girl retorted approaching him.  

“So, why didn’t you tell me you were dating Ichika and the others?” His voice was soft.   

“B-because… it’s one thing liking girls, but it’s another being in a relationship with three. I didn’t know how you would react since polyamory is usually frowned upon…” Saki sadly said. Tsukasa tackled her in a hug and the waterworks were flowing.  

“Saki! You’re the best little sister anyone could ask for. I will always be happy for you, no matter what. I’m happy you found people you love and love you back. I will always love and support you!” Tsukasa cried.   

“Big brother!” Saki also cried. Rui and the three girls looked at them fondly. It honestly always warmed his heart to see Tsukasa be such a good big brother to Saki. He was happy that both siblings had such a loving relationship.   

The two eventually calmed down.  

“Congratulations, you four! Don’t ever hurt my sister, but I’m sure that won’t be a problem. It makes so much sense that you ended up together. Saki always talked about you guys and you’ve always been there for her.” Tsukasa sniffled. “I’m just so happy!”   

“Of course. We love Saki very much,” Mochizuki said with conviction.  

“She’s the light of our life. Always making everything brighter,” Hoshino fondly said.  

“W-well…” Hinomori started, blushing. “She’s the best girlfriend we could ever ask for. Caring, loving, beautiful, funny… We couldn’t ask for anyone better.”  

“Everyone!” Saki teared up. She tackled the three girls in a big hug and pampered them with kisses. Tsukasa laughed at their display of affection. They pulled away and Saki pointedly looked at her brother.  

“You didn’t answer me! Why were you spying on us?” the blonde girl glared at her brother.  

“W-well…” He scratched the back of his head. “Rui asked me if you guys were together and I didn’t know so we wanted to test his theory out and…”  

Saki looked at him shocked. He smiled with his cat-like grin and waved at her innocently.  

“Rui! How could you betray me like this!” She put her hand to her heart dramatically. “I’ll get my revenge one day, you’ll see,” she jokingly said.   

Tsukasa and Rui eventually returned to talk about their show. The air in the house was a little different, but it was soothing. Saki and her girlfriend were still in her room when Rui left to go back to his house.  

–  

“Oh, Saki, I didn’t know your girlfriends would be here,” Tsukasa said unsurprised. The three girls greeted them warmly.  

“Yeah! We’re having a sleepover!” Saki exclaimed.  

“Is that so?” he said with a smile and turned to face the three girls. “Um, then we better get the futons out and spread them out 1 meter between each other.”  

“Big brother!” Saki said indignant.   

“So cruel Tsukasa~ Your poor sister. What if she wants to cuddle her girlfriends in her sleep? Are you going to force her to be cold at night?” Rui joined in the boy’s sister's protestations. He saw from the corner of his eyes that the three girls had become all red.   

“Yeah! It’s so cold, big brother!” Saki agreed and pouted.  

“Hahaha! I’m just kidding! Of course, we’ll put them as close to each other as we can. Are you sleeping in your room or in the living room?” Tsukasa smiled brightly.  

“Living room.” They went to get the futons and help set them down. The boys settled down in the living room with the other four and decided to stay and talk with them for a little bit. He hadn’t seen the whole of Leo/Need in a little while except during their concerts which he went to with Tsukasa. It was always a little treat to see them perform since they were very good.   

“Oh by the way Rui, are you staying the night too?” Saki asked.  

“Ah, no. I haven’t brought anything.”  

“Hu hu~ Well, Tsukasa could pass you his pajamas and I’m sure we have a spare toothbrush somewhere,” Saki said with a dangerous glint in her eye.   

“Saki! You know that wouldn’t work! He’s too tall and his shoulders are too broad. He wouldn’t fit in them. Or worse, they would rip!” Tsukasa said with horror. Rui saw Hinomori look at his star with an unimpressed look and roll her eyes. Mochizuki and Saki giggled at his weird reasoning.   

“Oh well, another time then,” the cheerful girl conceded.   

They heard a lock unlock and the door opened. Everyone snapped their heads around and saw that the adult Tenmas had entered their home. It was the first time Rui had seen them in person since they were never at home. They looked like a typical couple with their blonde Tenma hair and orange-yellowish eyes. The man looked like an older and roughed up by life version of Tsukasa while the woman looked like the same thing but a carbon copy of Saki. Both of them looked tired probably from their job. They had a severe look in their eyes as if not happy to be here. He didn’t know them personally, but he already hated them. Even without knowing how they had treated and probably still treated Tsukasa, he would have probably still thought this was a bad first impression. The genius director wondered how these people gave birth to two bright and cheerful awesome children.   

The adults saw that they had some visitors and their entire demeanor changed into something bright and cheerful. It screamed fake to him. They weren’t as talented in acting as their son, it seemed. It made his blood boil to see them act like they were cheerful people when they treated their son like nothing. But, well, Rui too was an actor, so he put on his show smile and mentally prepared for the verbal performance that was going to be his meeting with Tsukasa’s parents.   

He saw the four girls tense up from the corner of his eyes. That was an interesting reaction. He wondered many things; did Saki know about how they neglected and probably still neglected Tsukasa? How did they actually treat Saki? Did her girlfriends know?  

“We’re back, Saki, Tsukasa!” the mother said with fake brightness. She was really trying to sell the illusion that they were a perfect family to their guests.   

“Oh, Mom, Dad. You’re back from your work trip early,” Saki said with a strained smile. Tsukasa was quiet and unconsciously holding onto Rui’s arm. The couch was hiding this action from the parents’ sight which Rui was grateful for. He didn’t know how these people would react if they saw their son holding another boy’s arm. Probably not well.   

“Yes, the meeting and project discussion ended earlier which is a relief,” the father answered with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.   

“Oh, Ichika, Honami and Shiho. It’s nice to see you after so long. We’ve been so busy that we’ve barely been home. What a nice surprise!” Mrs. Tenma greeted the girls.  

“It’s nice to see you too, Mr. and Mrs. Tenma,” Hoshino said, tense. It seemed maybe his little theory about the parents also treating Saki badly may not be too far off judging by her girlfriends’ reactions. That was very upsetting.   

“Oh, and who do we have here?” The mother turned to stare at him, fake smile still in place but judging eyes scrutinizing him. He really hated being stared at and felt shivers down his spine. Still, he put on his best neutral smile and didn’t let his discomfort show. “Tsukasa, you brought a friend over. How nice!” She clapped her hands together and smiled ‘sweetly’ with her eyes closed.  

“Um… I’m sorry. We can just go upstairs and let you rest from your trip. We won’t bother you, I swear,” Tsukasa answered almost quietly. Gone was the loud shining star he was and in his place was a shy docile boy. It broke Rui’s heart to see him act that way. The blonde boy got up and gestured at Rui to do the same.   

“Oh, wait honey. Why don’t you present us to your friend?” his mother asked, piercing them with her stare. Tsukasa looked at Rui nervously and fiddled with his fingers.  

“Um… t-this is my friend from school, Rui Kamishiro,” Tsukasa introduced him.  

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Tenma,” he said smoothly and bowed slightly. “Tsukasa is a dear friend of mine.”  

“Is that so? This is the first time I’ve heard of you. But Tsukasa’s always been a secretive boy, I suppose,” the father questioned, eyebrow raised. That was such a weird way to refer to Tsukasa. Rui would not describe him as secretive at all. Sure, the boy had his secret, but that didn’t make him secretive. Besides, his star wore his emotions on his sleeves all the time. Perhaps it was because they had so much trust in each other, but he felt like Tsukasa wouldn’t hide many secrets from him anyways. “Ah, well, we are glad our son has brought home a friend. It’s such a rare occasion.” It was not. He had been to this house many, many times. Emu and Nene had also come over many times. They’d just never been there.   

“A-anyways, we’ll be in my rooms doing homework. You two can relax after your long trip,” Tsukasa quickly said.  

“A-And me and the girls were about to settle the futons in my room. We’ll see you later,” Saki said, also nervously.   

“Oh no no, please settle down. Have you eaten yet?” the mother asked, gesturing at the table.  

“Y-yes. There are leftovers in the fridge. I can reheat them for you if you want,” Tsukasa lied. They hadn’t eaten, so that meant his star was going to skip a meal. Rui didn’t approve, but he understood that he really didn’t want to spend any amount of time with his parents. Especially when they came through the door looking tired from their trip.  

“No, no don’t worry about it, son. Besides, we ate on the way,” his father brushed off.  

“Why don’t I prepare some snacks and we can all sit down at the table and talk? I haven’t seen you girls in so long and I’d like to get to know our son’s friend,” the mother ‘cheerfully’ said and headed towards the kitchen. Tsukasa was looking at Rui with a lost look in his eyes. They had somehow been unable to escape this awkward situation and, in turn, lost the little verbal game they were having. Rui gave him an encouraging smile and the boys went to get more chairs for the table since there were now eight people. When they came back, they heard the father talking to the girls.  

“Oh, are you guys staying over then?”  

“Y-yes, we were about to bring the futons to my room,” Saki answered with a duller voice than usual.  

“Aren’t you a little old to have such sleepovers? I mean I would expect you to try and bring a boy or something. Not have these little slumber parties like you had when you were a kid,” the father asked.  

 “Well, at least you can do these kinds of things now, so it’s fine,” he conceded almost immediately.  

The girls quickly went up to settle their futon while the mother came back with some snacks and tea. Everyone sat at the table and it felt like they were about to be bombarded by sharp questions. This almost felt like a job interview or an interrogation was about to happen. Rui mentally prepared himself to reveal as little as possible about himself and his relationship with Tsukasa. From what he gathered from the previous exchange; Tsukasa didn’t talk to his parents about his friends. They also seemed to not know a lot about their son, and he seemed to not tell them about himself. They also didn’t seem to know about how Tsukasa had created a theater troupe (with Emu, and that they invited the two others). If they knew or if Tsukasa had wanted to tell them, he would have introduced Rui as he always did. ‘This is Wonderlands X Showtime’s wonderful director, Rui Kamishiro,’ he always presented him dramatically. Well, this was sure to be a very long and draining conversation.  

“So, you’re Tsukasa’s school friend huh? I’m glad he finally brought a friend home for once. To think he’s finally found a friend he’s comfortable enough to bring home. He’s always been shy, I was getting worried,” the mother broke the tense silence. It was another weird word that they used to refer to Tsukasa. ‘Shy’. He would never call Tsukasa shy, ever. “How long have you two know each other for?” That question was pointed at him. Besides, Tsukasa looked like he was about to get lost in thought.   

“At the end of this spring, a little after I transferred schools,” Rui answered with as little information as he could.   

“You transferred? From where?” his father asked curiously.  

“Tensaikou,” Rui answered. This was going to raise questions, he knew. The school he used to go to was elite and full of rich or smart people who somehow got in through hard work. Rui was none of those and he still got in (he hadn’t needed to work hard). Why would such a smart student transfer to the less prestigious school that was Kamiyama? He couldn’t lie and say that he’d been kicked out because he did something or that his grades weren’t high enough. That would leave a bad impression. He had to find a convincing lie, but not something that made him seem like a bad person or someone less than anyone.   

“Oh, wow! You got into that school. That’s very impressive. You must be very smart,” Tsukasa’s mother praised.  

“Ah, I’m not that smart. Perhaps I was lucky and the test was easy that year,” he said humbly. Tsukasa looked at him unimpressed but turned back to face his parents.  

“I heard that the test they gave that year was one of the hardest they had ever given. There’s no need to be humble,” the mother said. “How high did you score, if you don’t mind me asking? Of course, simply scoring high enough to get in is already very impressive.” This was his moment to make an incredible impression. Rui had always been a genius and almost always got one hundred on every written test he had ever done. Of course, that was when the teacher wasn’t biased against him. On the entrance exam, he had found it easy, and he had been the first one to hand in his paper, making the others either stressed or mock him since they thought he had bombed it. They were wrong.   

“Oh, if I remember correctly, I think I scored first,” Rui mentioned, innocently as if that was a normal thing.  

“W-WHAT!” Tsukasa yelled then remembered he was in the presence of his parents and apologized when they glared daggers at him. “I didn’t know you did so well. I mean I knew you were good at school, but to that extent,” Tsukasa said, impressed, but less enthusiastically as he would have done if they were alone or with their friends.   

“That’s more than impressive, Kamishiro. So you were that guy who scored a hundred on the hardest test from Tensaikou?” Mochizuki said, wide-eyed.   

“T-to think we’ve been in the presence of such a genius this entire time,” Hoshino quietly said, stuttering.  

“Rui, so all this time, you were the guy that everyone was talking about when these results came out and you’ve never told us!” Saki said, almost disappointed that he had never mentioned this little detail of his past.   

“To think our son hangs out with a such brilliant young man,” his father said pleased. “But, how come you’ve transferred if you had such a great score?” There, the question everyone asked him. He had had the time to think about his answer while everyone was praising him.   

“Ah, well… Kamiyama is closer to my house compared to Tensaikou and I was able to save an hour in transport. My father had gotten hurt at his job and couldn’t get out of the hospital for a while so, I needed to be there to help around the house more. He’s now in a wheelchair permanently, so I’ll have to stay close to help my mom out with chores and taking care of him. I’ll have to finish my education here, I suppose,” Rui lied. He had never told anyone the real reason, except his parents to some extent and Mizuki, as to why he transferred. Not even Nene. When she had asked, he had told her that he had been ‘too disruptive and kicked out’. She had believed him since that made sense. It could have happened, but Rui hadn’t caused trouble at his old high school, and certainly not to the extent that he did at Kamiyama. The reason he had transferred really hurt to even think about and he didn’t trust many people around him enough to tell them why. Not Nene, not Emu and… not Tsukasa yet.   

It seemed everyone had bought his story since they looked at him with pity. Well, everyone except Tsukasa of course. He was looking at him suspiciously but didn’t call him out on his lie. He knew Rui’s dad hadn’t been hurt at work and wasn’t in a wheelchair; the boy had seen him up and standing not even a few days ago. Tsukasa probably thought that the real reason he had transferred was because he had done something dangerous or disruptive as he usually did at Kamikou.   

“Oh, that's terrible. I’m sorry to hear that. If it’s not too sensitive, can you tell us how it happened?” the mother asked awkwardly and with fake sympathy.   

“Ah, well… My father is a civil engineer. He had an accident when he was in the field helping the workers build the new bridge on the Arakawa River when a brick fell on his back and injured him.” His father wasn’t even a civil engineer. He was a robotics engineer that designed robots to help with agriculture. But his story sounded like something that made sense, so he ran with it.  

“Oh, dear. How unfortunate. I’m sorry to have brought up such a painful topic.” Mrs. Tenma tried to take back her words.  

“No, it’s fine. It’s not something that people usually assume when I tell them I’ve transferred from such a prestigious school. It’s normal for you to have questioned it, after all, it could have been a bad reason too,” Rui smothered.  

The parents tried to change the subject quickly since his explanation had made them uncomfortable. Good. They decided to question Saki’s girlfriends (they didn’t know that Saki was dating them). They occasionally asked him more questions, but they were more careful about the topic, lest they bring up something ‘sensitive’ again. All and all, he believed he had flowed through the conversation pretty well.  

He didn’t manage to hurt himself on the eggshells he was walking on in the presence of these two. Tsukasa was still tense next to him, but he wasn’t too openly anxious, so it seemed everything was good.   

“So, Kamishiro, you must want to aim for a prestigious university. You would probably easily be able to go to the University of Tokyo or even get a scholarship abroad,” the father said.  

“Dear, maybe it’s not the best topic. You know, since he might want to go somewhere more local to take care of his father with his mother. Poor thing, having to sacrifice his future for a loved one in difficulty,” the mother said with pain in her eye. As if they hadn’t let Tsukasa fend for himself by only taking care of Saki in the hospital. As if Saki wasn’t the one that had been sick and which her childhood was ruined because of it. As if it was the loved one’s fault for being sick or hurt. Rui internally rolled his eyes.  

“W-well, then, do you plan on going to University?” The father tried to regain control of the conversation.  

“Ah, most likely.” To get a degree in theater or something. He wanted to become a better director, his academics be damned. His parents supported his dream even if the people around them saw it as a waste.   

“Well, that’s good. Maybe you can help our son here get into one too. He says he’s not sure if he wants to go to one, but I’m sure he’d be a great doctor or lawyer, or engineer. He could even be a businessman if he wants or an accountant. He just needs to concentrate a little bit more on his studies and he’ll be on his way to success,” the father boasted, and definitely didn’t slightly insult and pressure Tsukasa into going into fields he was not interested in. The blonde boy said nothing, so Rui didn’t either. “What field do you want to major in?”  

“I’m not sure yet. I used to want to be an engineer like my father, but I’m not so sure anymore…” If they could just drop the topic of his future, he would be very pleased. Maybe by bringing up his ‘injured’ father, they would let it go and not try to bring Tsukasa down again because Rui was ‘such a genius’ and got good grades compared to him. Grades didn’t matter that much, he thought. Besides, he got good grades compared to anyone anyways.   

“Ah, I suppose that makes sense. Perhaps you would make for a great doctor or another type of engineer like a robotics one.” How the man had managed to suggest the type of engineer his father was and the one he would be the most interested in becoming if he ever decided to follow that path, he didn’t know. Sure, Rui might be a good robotics engineer like his father, but it was more of a hobby than something he wanted to turn into a career.   

“Maybe. I’m not sure I would be a good doctor though. Perhaps it would be better for me to major in biology and do research to become a medical scientist. I have plenty of time to decide.” Rui tried to end this line of conversation as vaguely as possible. Tsukasa was looking at him strangely again.   

“Such a bright future you have ahead of you. Tsukasa could learn a thing or two from you.” Again with the comparisons. It was such a weird thing for a parent to do to their child. He didn’t even know that some parents did this. His parents had never compared him to other children and belittled his abilities. Was that the reason Tsukasa always thrived to be the best and compared himself to people with years more of experience? That was horrible. He hated these two even more now.   

“Ah, well Tsukasa also has a successful future ahead of him. He’s pretty good at school and has all the tools to succeed. He has nothing to learn from me,” Rui defended.   

“Yes, yes,” the mother dismissed. It made Rui boil and want to punch her. “Anyways, Kamishiro, I was wondering, a young man with such a bright future like you must be pretty popular with the ladies.” He certainly wasn’t. And even if he was, Rui would reject them. “So, do you have a girlfriend?”  

“Ah, um… no.” He really hated that question. At least this time it wasn’t from someone trying to get him to hook up with his adult asexual friend. He was nervous to see where this line of questioning was going to lead.  

“Oh, a young man like you must be considering his options for a future wife very seriously.” He wasn’t. He didn’t want a wife. He wanted a husband. Well, what he wanted didn’t matter in the eyes of fate anyways. Rui would have nothing. “I’m sure Saki would be very interested in having a future husband like you. Maybe you two should go out sometimes.” What.  

“W-WHATT?” Tsukasa yelled and didn’t apologize this time. He slammed his hands on the table in shock. “Mom, you cannot be serious! Saki dating Rui?” There was a slightly panicked look in his eyes.   

“Mom, please!” Saki begged. Her girlfriends were now definitely uncomfortable and Hinomori was glaring at him. “Stop trying to set me up with every guy that seems slightly decent in your eyes.” Ouch, he did not like what that implied. He was not ‘slightly decent’ thank you very much. Rui laughed internally; he was more of a red flag if anything. Not a very datable guy and certainly not with a girl, no matter how pretty or smart.  

“Saki! We are doing this for your own good. You should at least give him a try. He would be perfect for you. A smart good looking young man who has a bright future. He cares for his family and would be able to take care of you if you were to get sick again. Please consider it,” the mother insisted.   

“Mom!” Tsukasa tried to intervene again. “This is embarrassing, please stop setting up Saki with every man we encounter who checks off that little list of criteria you have.” The blonde boy looked desperate for her to stop. Saki looked mortified which made sense because she already had her girlfriends. She was a lesbian uninterested in men just like he was a gay dude uninterested in women. “Besides, Rui’s not interested. He’s-” Rui pinched his leg and stopped him from saying something stupid. There was no way he was letting Tsukasa tell his parents he was gay. If he read them correctly, they were for sure homophobic and would kick him out on the spot. They would probably also bar their son from seeing him for fear that he’ll ‘influence him into turning gay’ and Rui refused for that to happen.   

“I’m sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Tenma. I already have my sights on someone else. I’m sure Saki would be a lovely wife one day and the person she will marry will be lucky to have her.” Rui decided to take control of the situation. He wasn’t about to date the female version of Tsukasa. Not only was she a girl, which he could never date, but she was also a Tenma. That was dangerous for his heart who somehow was still madly in love with the Tsukasa Tenma himself. It might even start imagining Saki as Tsukasa and that would be one hell of a disaster. Besides, she already had three soulmates whom she was dating. Rui didn’t like getting in between soulmates. At least, not anymore.  

“Oh, that’s a shame. If you change your mind, I’m sure Saki would still be interested,” the mother let go. Rui looked at the clock. He was tired of talking to these two shitty people and having to navigate through topic after topic, trying to reveal as little as possible about himself.  

“Oh, look at the time. I better get going before my mother gets worried. She must be tired looking after my father,” Rui lied. He got up from the chair. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. and Mrs. Tenma.”  

“I’ll walk him home.” Tsukasa also got up and went to put on his shoes.  

“Oh, it’s already this late? You better hurry, for your poor mother’s sake,” Mrs. Tenma said.  

“It was a pleasure talking to you, Kamishiro,” the father bid him goodbye.  

The other girls also said their goodbyes and the two boys were on their way to Rui’s house. Immediately, when they closed the door, Tsukasa's entire body relaxed. He took a deep breath and looked sadly at Rui.   

“I’m sorry about all that. I didn’t know they would be back a day early. We didn’t even have time to watch the show I invited you to see,” Tsukasa said, defeated.  

“It’s okay my star. We’ll watch it another time. You don’t need to apologize for what happened. It’s not your fault.”  

“Still, I’m sorry you were put in that situation. They pretty much interviewed you and asked you to date my sister,” Tsukasa said bitterly.  

“Well, I certainly didn’t expect that, but it did spice up the conversation for a little bit.” Rui chuckled.  

“You did pretty well though. You somehow managed to get through this whole thing and make a good impression on my parents. No, you did better than good, that was amazing. I almost didn’t recognize you when you talked. It was as if the ‘Mad Scientist of Explosion’ had never been you and you were a young respectable man,” Tsukasa awed at his performance.  

“What? Am I not respectable to you? Oh, my heart, it’s bleeding,” he said with fake tears.   

His star laughed beautifully which made Rui’s heart flutter. He was glad his lovely shining star was back. It had been weird seeing him so quiet. He used to think this side of him was endearing, but after seeing the reason why Tsukasa acted that way, he found it disturbing.   

“Well…” Tsukasa said with a smile.  

“Oh, how will I ever recover from such an insult? My dear star, how could you?” he guilt-tripped and chuckled. They stayed in comfortable silence for a little while.  

“How come you’ve introduced me as someone from school and not your director?” Rui asked quietly. He mostly knew the answer, he just wanted to confirm it.   

“Because… I don’t want my parents to know about Wonderlands X Showtime. They would disapprove and probably ask me to quit. They think theater and acting aren’t respectable hobbies or careers. They also think that my wanting to be a star was just a childhood dream that I would outgrow when I saw a little more about ‘how the real-world works’.” Tsukasa looked at the floor.  

“Ah, so they don’t support the things you love. I’m sorry you have to live with that,” Rui sadly said.  

“Well, it’s fine. They just want what’s best for me,” Tsukasa brushed off.  

“...if you say so.” He wasn’t about to tell Tsukasa that that wasn’t true. It would break his heart and Rui hated seeing him sad. He preferred to let the topic go instead.   

“I still can’t believe you said all that. You lied so convincingly I was wondering if your dad was actually in a wheelchair for a moment,” Tsukasa exclaimed.  

“Fufu~ It’s a talent of mine. Pretty useful, don’t you think?” Rui smoothly said.  

“That’s not really something people brag about. But, I guess in this case, it was really useful. I’m wondering if some things you said are true, so let’s start from the beginning.” Tsukasa looked at him seriously with one finger up. “First, were you really admitted to Tensaikou?”  

“Yeah, didn’t I already tell you?” Rui said, confused as to why that was the first thing he asked.  

“Um… maybe. Must have slipped my mind. So, did you have the highest score too?” Tsukasa awkwardly asked.  

“Yes,” he shrugged.  

“You know, that makes sense. You always have the highest scores out of everyone in our year, so I don’t know why I was so shocked. Next, did you really mean it when you said you had your eyes on someone?”  

“Who knows? I have my eyes on many things and people. But, honestly, I just wanted to drive the conversation away from the topic.” Tsukasa had a look in his eye that Rui couldn’t decipher. He didn’t know if the star thought it meant yes or no.  

“I mean that was certainly a good way to handle it. I don’t know why my mom was so insistent on it. She always does this when we meet guys who are whatever criteria she has for Saki’s ‘future husband’.” The blonde boy started ranting about how annoying it was that she did that and that his sister was already in a relationship. Rui listened attentively to his every word as usual with his same smitten look. He was relieved that his star felt better now. To think he felt safe enough with him to talk about such things. Even after events such as this, his star was still so, so bright. It almost made him forget about how he felt during this whole ordeal. Rui basked in his light.  

“Oh, and that one time, she asked Toya and… oh, we’re here.” Tsukasa stopped.  

“So it seems. That reminds me, we haven’t eaten, have we?” Rui said looking at his star intently.  

“S-so it seems!” Tsukasa exclaimed, looking to the side.  

“Well, I’m sure you don’t want your parents to find out you lied or be in their presence any longer than necessary. So, how about you come inside and we make ourselves something quick to eat?” he suggested. His bright shining star smiled brightly.  

“Sure! Let’s see what you have in the kitchen,” Tsukasa exclaimed, and they entered the main house. They greeted his parents who were on the couch watching a movie and went to the kitchen. They looked at what they had in the pantry and fridge and Tsukasa said they had all the ingredients to make egg fried rice. The smaller boy put all the ingredients needed on the counter and vegetables! How horrible! He didn’t even know they had those in his fridge. It seemed his mother had hidden this detail from him and betrayed him. The inventor thought she had forgiven him for all his childish misdeeds and stopped using vegetables after traumatizing him with his punishment of eating veggies. He had never felt such a betrayal. And from his own mother! Tsukasa was also surprised that there were vegetables in his house. But he wasn’t devastated like Rui, more pleasantly surprised.   

Rui tried to put them away but was stopped by the blonde actor grabbing his ear like a stern mother.   

“Rui, put the vegetables on the counter,” Tsukasa said sternly,  

“But Tsukasaa~ We don’t need them. We’re making egg fried rice, not egg and veggie fried rice,” Rui retorted.  

“There are vegetables in egg fried rice. Just cause it’s not in the title, doesn’t mean there are none.” Tsukasa didn’t budge and took the vegetables from Rui’s hands. The veggie hater tried to take them again but got bapped by the other. He stared sadly at the blonde boy who ignored his pleas. The smaller boy took a pan and put the oil on it. His star turned the heat up and started cracking the eggs in a separate bowl. He gestured at Rui to help him as he was simply staring at him like a starving homeless cat. The director took his crack at it and somehow made a mess with the one egg he cracked. Tsukasa asked him to beat the eggs up while he measured some ingredients and Rui did as told. The genius inventor somehow also made a mess by beating the eggs too roughly. Tsukasa stopped him and looked at him with an incredulous look.  

“How did you manage to make two messes in such a short amount of time?” Tsukasa exclaimed at a loss for words. He wiped Rui’s mess off.   

“So mean, Tsukasaa~ I’m doing my best~ I’m just not good at this cooking stuff, you know. Maybe if you showed me once, I could recreate it,” Rui whined.   

“Okay, fine. Just watch me so that next time, you can do it yourself,” his chef hmpfed and went to finish beating the eggs. Rui watched him turn the ingredients into a flavorful meal. His masterful movements when mixing the food made him look incredible. The yellow-eyed director was looking at him preparing everything from over his shoulder like a curious little duckling. He could almost give him a hug from behind and bury his face in either his hair or shoulder. It made his cheeks redden just thinking about it. He occasionally passed him the premeasured ingredients, which Tsukasa took, eyes not leaving the pan. The smell in the kitchen turned heavenly the closer the meal was to being ready.  

He saw Tsukasa cut the vegetables and dump them in the pan. He mixed everything thoroughly so it would be impossible for Rui to escape them.  

“So cruel Tsukasaa~ Do you hate me so? What did I do to deserve such punishment?” the director cried.  

“Rui, it’s just vegetables. They are good for you. You need to eat them to stay healthy.” Tsukasa wasn’t deterred by his crying act. He felt hurt and betrayed by the one he trusted the most.   

 The meal was done, and Tsukasa put the food on two plates. They went to the table and ate. He tried his best to avoid the vegetables, but there were so many! And Tsukasa was looking at him disapprovingly!  

“Eat your veggies, Rui!” Tsukasa crossed his arms and frowned.   

“But… but… How could you make me eat such disgusting things? Do you want to poison me?” he whined. Tsukasa looked at him pointedly and Rui gave in. He took a small bit of the food with his chopsticks, looked at it pitifully as he saw a bit of green, approached the bite slowly and shakily to his mouth, opened it forcefully, and closed his eyes tight. He took the bite and chewed slowly. He could feel the mushiness of the carrots and other vegetables since they had been cooked. They were bitter and nauseating, empowering the eggs, rice, spices, and sauces that were used. It almost made him gag as the food slid down his throat. He felt tears in his eyes as he opened them painfully and looked at Tsukasa.  

“Oh my god! Why do you look like I’ve forced you to eat dirt? You’re so dramatic! It’s just vegetables, now eat up!” Tsukasa rolled his eyes and continued his meal. Rui reluctantly continued to eat while trying (and failing) to avoid that horrible food group.   

“You know, I was wondering what the real reason was for you to transfer to Kamiyama.” Ah. This meal was getting a little more bitter. “You told me that something pretty bad happened so that’s why you transferred. You even told me that… you had attempted a few weeks before transferring. So, I was just wondering if you’d tell me what happened.” Rui stopped chewing and looked at his star sadly. He considered lying and telling him that he had been kicked out, but he couldn’t. It wouldn’t make sense anyways. He had already revealed too much for that excuse to work. But the real reason hurt. It was a wound he didn’t want to reopen today.  

“I… it’s a painful story. I’d rather not… spoil the mood.” Rui looked pained.  

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. I was just curious is all.” Tsukasa gave him an out.  

“I’m sorry. I’d rather… not talk about it. Maybe another time, I’m not sure.” Rui‘s head turned to the side.   

“Ah, don’t apologize. I’m sorry for bringing it up. Let’s talk about something else… um… how far along are you on building the props?” Tsukasa changed the subject. They talked about random things until they both finished their food. Somehow, Rui had eaten everything on his plate. They got up and did the dishes. Tsukasa washed them while Rui dried them. Not long after, his star left to go back to his house.  

Everything had been so incredibly domestic; Rui had really loved it. The mundanity of Tsukasa cooking for them was just what his heart craved. He couldn’t help it when his thoughts strayed, and he imagined how wonderful a future with Tsukasa would be. His wonderful, talented star could cook for them, so when Rui walked in, the smell would overwhelm him in a good way. He could approach Tsukasa from behind, wrap his arms around him and kiss his neck softly. Maybe his lover would squeak and become flustered, or he would hum and smile, saying ‘Hello, my love, I’m making this for dinner tonight’. They would sit down at the table together and talk about their day. Even if the meal probably had vegetables in them because Tsukasa insisted such nasty things were ‘healthy’ and ‘necessary for his diet’, he would enjoy it and eat it all because it was made by his lovely star. They would then do the dishes together, arms brushing each other and smiling. They could even share one or two kisses because they got distracted by each other. Then, they could prepare to go to bed and lie down next to each other. Tsukasa would smell like his peach shampoo and fresh from the shower, hair still wet. Rui would run his hand through those luscious blonde locks and Tsukasa would close his beautiful eyes. He would be able to see his beautiful blonde eyelashes and all the little details on his face because of how close they would be. He would kiss him tenderly as they would say goodnight and Tsukasa would fall asleep in his arms, head buried in his neck. Rui would fall asleep content and feel the warmth of his star.  

But that would never happen. And it shattered his heart. He craved that domesticity with Tsukasa. Now that he had experienced it, he would never forget these feelings and they would haunt his dreams. He would crave more of this, and it would be torture. To have something at the tip of his fingers, but being unable to grasp it because fate pulled it away from him. Fate, it kept mocking him. Showing him what he could have had if only it was nicer to him. If only Tsukasa was his soulmate. The pain was immeasurable. He longed for Tsukasa. He already missed his brightness, his warmth, his voice. He always wanted to have him by his side. They were so perfect for each other, yet they would never last.   

Fate was laughing in his face.  

Chapter Text

It was finally time. It was the big day. Nene and Emu had finally choreographed the waltz and were going to show the boys how to do it. The troupe was meeting up at the Wonder Stage and Emu was running a little late, so she texted them to start without her. Rui was openly nervous, which was a rare sight. He was usually good at hiding his emotions, but this time, he couldn’t help it. He wasn’t the only one who was nervous; Tsukasa was fidgeting in place and blushing furiously. Nene seemed to have noticed this and rolled her eyes.  

“Okay, enough stalling! Today is the day you guys start learning the waltz. A waltz is a dance between two partners done to a 3:4 rhythm. You have to constantly count 1, 2, 3 to the rhythm of the song.” She pulled out her phone and opened the link to the song. “Like this.” She tapped her phone to start the music. “1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. You get the gist.” 

Rui listened to her explanation intently and tried to rid himself of the nervousness he felt.   

“This dance involves a lot of contact, twirling, and the few same steps. It was actually a popular ballroom dance in the 18th century and… you know what? Why am I even telling you this? It’s not like you’ll remember any of it,” Nene cut herself short, annoyed.  

“That’s not true, Nene. You know I will remember everything you’ve said.” Rui gasped, offended.  

“I’m not talking to you, freak genius. I’m talking to mister speakerphone over here who has a worse memory than a goldfish!” She pointedly glared at Tsukasa.  

“H-hey!” his star exclaimed, offended. “My memory is fine. You can continue your explanation, you know.” He tried to look mad, but his eyes were too wide to convey that emotion. 

“Sure… lemme quiz you on this tomorrow,” she sarcastically said.

“Nevermind…” Tsukasa grumbled.  

Nene looked satisfied at her victory.   

“Okay! Listen up, losers! Emu and I will show you the waltz and you watch very, very closely, okay? I expect you, Rui, to have already memorized everything. Tsukasa… just watch and try to retain as much as you can.” Nene looked at Tsukasa severely. 

“Hey! Why are you so mean to me today? What did I do?” the poor star asked, very offended now.

“Look, this whole ‘helping you practice the waltz’ thing is going to be the biggest pain in the ass. It will be painful, I will cry in frustration, and it will overall be the worst moments of my life because I’m teaching… you two, ” she sneered.  

“Don’t be so dramatic. Everything will go well,” Rui reassured.

“Yeah, I don’t know what’s got you so worked up. A star like me can easily learn such a dance. And our director here is also fully capable,” Tsukasa boasted and posed. Nene put her hand to her face and sighed.

“Listen to me and listen to me very clearly, you oblivious buffoon.” She glared at said oblivious buffoon. “It isn’t about talent. This is about how you two will stumble and get flustered and ugh! I hate that I agreed to this now!” Nene screamed in her hands.   

“My, my! Aren’t we angry today~” Rui laughed at her, and she punched him lightly in the stomach.

“You know what! I’ve decided on a rule. Per each stupid stumble because of being flustered, you get a slap behind the head. That’s just so that I don't murder both of you at the end of this practice. Are we clear?” She strictly said. 

“Y-yes!” Tsukasa squeaked.

“Fufu~” Rui laughed. He was internally screaming. She wasn’t the only one who regretted accepting this idea. The director was panicking internally and felt his heart beat very fast. The two boys were going to be so close. It was a scary thought. He needed to quickly train his heart to not overreact, not just because he risked getting slapped, but because he also risked making his heart explode with joy. Holding Tsukasa, dancing a quite romantic dance with him, being at a kissing distance sometimes... How was Rui going to survive this? Worse, how was he going to make sure Tsukasa stayed oblivious to their feelings? He hoped Tsukasa would rationalize everything as him just being a good actor and nothing else.

“Alright, good. For now, Emu and I will have a one-on-one session with both of you. Then, you will start practicing without music, only counting, so that you can get familiar with the steps. After that, we will try the music with lyrics, then, finally, Rui will sing,” Nene explained the plan for their next practice sessions.

“All of that… today?!?” Tsukasa exclaimed.  

“No, you dunce! That’s the plan for the next practice sessions . We will do this progression in a week's time. Not to mention that we will practice the rest of the play just as regularly,” Nene pointed out

“Yes, yes, Captain Nene,” Rui teased, hand on his head as a salute. His childhood friend groaned in frustration and slapped his arm.  

“You. You will be the death of me. I haven’t completely forgiven you yet, you know. Be on your guard, I will be extra severe with your bullshit.” Nene glared daggers at him. He took a step back and nodded nonchalantly.   

“Huh?” Tsukasa was shocked at Nene’s behavior. The oblivious boy still didn’t know what they had fought about exactly and would never know. 

“Hey, guys!!! I’m here now!” A loud cheerful voice yelled. Nene instantly dropped her intimidation act and turned to face her girlfriend with a small smile.

“Emu, you’re finally here. Are you ready to begin the demonstration?” the shy girl softly said, a big contrast to her act just a few seconds ago. Tsukasa was looking at her wide-eyed but shook it off. Rui was just standing there with his neutral cat-like grin. He was internally calming his beating heart and failing.   

“Yeah!” Emu exclaimed. Nene gave her phone to NeneRobot which had been just chilling close to her and asked it to start the music on her signal.   

“Pay attention,” the greyish-haired girl warned them. Emu and Nene were positioned one in front of the other. The pink-haired teenager looked excited to show them the product of their choreographing sessions. “Technically, a waltz usually starts with the two partners making some specific steps and the ‘man’ asking the ‘woman’ to dance. We won’t do that as some of us decided that the dance would start with a yank.” Nene glared at them, and Emu giggled. 

“Hehe~ I think it’s a nice thing they decided to do. It’s much more fun to start with a bang.” Emu wiggled on her feet. “I am soooo excited for this! Wonderhoy!” She jumped in the air.

“We will show you the dance once in its entirety, then we will explain the steps to each one of you individually. Emu will be acting as the ‘man’ and I will be acting as the ‘woman’,” Nene explained, looking exasperated and exhausted already. Tsukasa had started to sweat nervously at her bad mood. Rui’s childhood friend snapped her fingers and Emu yanked her into position. The future musical actress had one hand on Emu’s shoulder while the cheerful girl had one hand on Nene’s upper back. Their other hands were holding, and they were looking straight into each other’s eyes. They started moving as they got their cue from the music. Honeymoon un deux trois was playing in the background, its calming flute and clarinet dominating the sound during the beginning. Rui could hear the song's fast 1, 2, 3 rhythm. He started humming with the melody and Tsukasa turned to him, surprised. Rui saw him from the corner of his eyes and gestured for him to look at the couple dancing. For now, the choreography was simple; the girls were doing almost the same three steps repeatedly. They twirled around, Emu leading and Nene following her. The pink-haired girl was looking at her girlfriend with an incredibly soft gaze, very different from her usual shine. Nene looked enamored with her girlfriend, admiring her with the fondest smile Rui had ever seen on her. Their dresses were lightly flowing with each of their movements and Nene’s hair was swishing.   

As the lyrics started, Rui decided to sing. He had already learned all of the lyrics and liked the song. It was very romantic, almost like he could imagine himself dancing with a lover in the streets on a rainy night. He almost wanted to close his eyes and feel the music, but he had to concentrate on learning the dance. The two girls were twirling around, eyes locked on each other. At some point, Emu twirled Nene and they fell back in position. They both had lovestruck smiles on their faces. It was as if they were living in a world of their own, entranced by the music. Sometimes, they separated briefly and twirled, then locked their hands back together naturally. It was elegant, and the light from the sun made it seem magical.   

The song ended and both girls were leaning toward each other, faces so close, they could probably feel each other’s breath. Both girls were slightly out of breath and Emu slowly glanced at her girlfriend’s lips. She closed the distance between them and kissed Nene passionately. Emu pulled away and giggled, looking at her girlfriend’s flushed face. 

“E-Emu!” Nene exclaimed, stuttering profusely. The girl responded by hugging her tightly. They finally let go of each other after a few seconds. Emu and Rui made eye contact, the director smiling at her and giving her a thumbs up. Nene finally snapped out of her daze and looked at the two boys.  

“Rui! Why did you sing? You weren’t supposed to do that!” she angrily snapped at him, hands on her hips. He chuckled at her and feigned ignorance.

“That was so good Rui!!! Your voice is so soft like fwoo. It really felt like Nene and I were dancing and slowly falling in love again!” Emu exclaimed and tackled her girlfriend in a hug again.   

“You guys were supposed to observe and try to remember the steps! You had one task!” Nene could have been snappier with them, but her girlfriend was calming her down. It was hard for her to get mad when the one she loved had her arms wrapped around her.   

“Didn’t you think it was a nice addition? Why, I was observing and taking mental notes, you know?” Rui dramatically put a hand to his heart.

“Yeah!!! It was super duper nice and awesome!” Emu beamed at him.  

“Stop playing dumb! I’m clearly talking to that idiot right next to you! He for sure didn’t even look at us! You distracted him, you fool!” Nene glared to his left and Rui turned to look. Oh, he had forgotten that Tsukasa was there. His star had been so quiet this whole time, which was quite uncharacteristic of him. Rui locked eyes with the blonde boy and saw what Nene had been talking about. Tsukasa was looking straight at him, with wide lovestruck eyes. His orange-yellow eyes were glowing with such intensity, it swallowed Rui whole with its light. The blonde boy was almost frozen in time, with slight pink on his cheeks. His mouth was slightly quirked up in a sweet and soft smile. It was the first time Rui had ever seen such a look on the boy, and it was directed at him. The poor purple-haired fool felt his eyes widen in surprise, his heart skipped a beat, and his face grew hot. This was not good for his heart, not at all. 

Suddenly, Tsukasa was snapped out of his lovestruck daze by Nene slapping the back of his head. She glared very nastily at both of them.  

“Wake up, idiot! This isn’t the time to fall into dreamland!” she snapped. Tsukasa suddenly turned twenty shades of red as he was rubbing the back of his head in pain.

“Ouch, you didn’t have to do that.” The boy, now in pain, grimaced. “And I wasn’t sleeping.”  

“Yeah right, you were daydreaming. You were supposed to pay attention! And now I have to teach you this when you have no clue what the choreography is about. This is gonna be twice as much of a pain! Better hope your memory gets better because I will be even more strict now!” she angrily ranted. 

“I-I was paying attention!” Tsukasa retorted.

“Oh yeah, paying attention alright. To the wrong thing! You were literally ogling-” 

“How about we individually show you the steps now!” Emu cut in and took Rui’s arm to drag him a little farther. The purple-haired director laughed at her suddenness. “Okay, Rui! You’ll be acting as the ‘man’ in the dance, so that means you’ll lead.” She had a very determined look on her face and tried to act like a stern teacher. 

“Yes, teacher Emu!” Rui replied with a false serious expression. She giggled.

“Okay, so the basic steps are like this.” She put her right foot forward, left foot to the side, and closed her right foot. She then put her left foot back, her right foot to the side, and closed with her left. “See? Easy! Try it.” Rui repeated the steps and looked at Emu for approval. “Okay let’s add some grace and elegance hehe~” The cheerful teenager hummed a rhythm of 1, 2, 3 and redid the steps. Rui was confused about what she had changed.  

“Ah… Um, Emu. You did the same thing? How is that adding grace exactly?” He gave her a confused smile.

“Can’t you see? My feet move differently. It adds a little kira kira to the dance!” She giggled and did the move again. Rui paid attention to the feet movements carefully and saw that she indeed was adding more ‘grace’ to the movement. The sweet girl was stepping on her heels and toes instead of flatly on her feet. It made the steps look floatier as if she was a fairy stepping on water and being able to walk on it. The girl stopped and looked at him with anticipation, practically vibrating in place. “So, can you see it now?”  

“I see it. You’re not using your whole foot to make the steps.” He smiled at her, and she bounced in place.  

“That’s right! Now you try it.” Her eyes were shining as she said this. He did as she asked and repeated the steps. Heal, toe, toe, heal. Toe, heel, toe, toe. He added some floaty arm movement to make it look more extravagant because why would he dance without a little pizazz? Emu clapped and beamed him a smile.

“Wonderhoy! That was very kira kira! Hehe! I knew you would be able to dance with grace! Just like that time when you did that.” She did two spins in place like a ballerina. She giggled and he laughed with her, imitating her. 

Emu made him redo the steps a few times to make sure he had them down to a T. It was no problem; they were repetitive steps. “Let’s add the arms,” Emu said after a while. The amusement park entertainer placed her hands on him in position. It was a little awkward since she had to be on her tippy toes while he had to bend down a little since she was showing the ‘man’s’ position. She put her right arm on his shoulder blade and her left took his hand. “Easy, try it.” Emu pulled away from him and let him try the hand positioning. It was, as she said, easy. 

For the rest of the practice session, Emu showed him the details of the choreography. She told him when he had to twirl Tsukasa, which kinds of twirls, when they had to pull away and come back together like they seemingly never left each other’s arms and all of that. It was a simple choreography and he had already memorized it. He wondered if he would actually be able to pull this off. Not because he had no grace, or the moves looked ugly or he was unable to perform them, but because he would be dancing with Tsukasa. A romantic dance with Tsukasa. They were going to be close. Rui regretted this. But it was already too late to go back. He should have listened to his brain and not given in to the puppy dog eyes of literally everyone. Like a heartless person. All to save his own heart. Rui was internally grumbling and cursing his stupidity as the troupe parted ways.  

The next day, they had individual practice again. Emu and he practiced the choreography for a while, but since everything was going well and he had already memorized it, they figured it was no use only focusing on that part. They decided to practice some lines and he saw that Emu had greatly improved in her ability to act as the cruel queen. She was not yet totally cruel enough, but it was quite an improvement. The girl must have practiced hard. He showed her his progress on the props. Much of the decor was done and his father had started helping him with the mechanism that was going to help lower and take away the props during the show. Emu was excited to see his progress and looked at his inventions with the sparkliest eyes that he had ever seen on a person. 

By the middle of practice, Nene had managed to show Tsukasa the entirety of the choreography and even made him practice a few more times so that he could quickly memorize it. After that, they called dance practice done and moved on to rehearsing the play as a whole, minus the marriage and dance scene for now.   

The next day was almost the same except that Tsukasa had memorized the dance. To think he did that in one day. Nene was satisfied with this turn of events, saying very snarkily that she ‘expected nothing less from a show idiot’ which Tsukasa took offense to because of the word idiot. 

And so, on the fourth day of dance practice, the duo of show idiots was ready to start dancing in pairs. Nene was not amused.

“Listen up, weirdos. We are starting duo practice.” Rui tensed up; he wasn’t ready for that! Being so close to Tsukasa already, that was bad! He tried to calm his racing thoughts but failed.  

“Aw, no need to look so nervous! Hehe, we’ll be practicing with you two! I’ll dance with Tsukasa and Nene will dance with Rui,” Emu exclaimed. Nene continued to glare at them, already done with their antics.  

“It’s as Emu said, you will practice with us for now since we know the choreography better than you. You are still in the process of learning it, so it would be stupid to put you two together now. You’ll just fumble.” she deadpanned and looked into both of their eyes, exhausted. “We’ll do one try without the music, then one with it. Rui, I don’t wanna hear a word from you! Am I understood?” She stabbed his chest with her finger. He winced at her intensity. 

“Yes M’am!” he said with absolutely no seriousness in his tone. Nene glared at him and slapped the back of his head. He winced and rubbed the place where she had slapped him. Tsukasa yelped at her aggressive behavior and Emu looked disappointed.  

“Nene! Apologize! No slapping!” the pink-haired girl exclaimed like a stern mother. 

“I’m sorry Rui,” she grumbled. “Ugh, let’s just start practice!” Nene grabbed his hand and yanked him into position. Emu did the same with Tsukasa. The two duos were far away enough to not step on each other’s feet during the dance. Rui put his hand on Nene’s shoulder and took her hand with the other. His childhood friend got into position too and rolled her eyes. 

“Okay, are you guys ready!” Emu asked in a cheerful way.  

“All good here, Emu,” Rui answered.  

“Okie dokie! I’ll be the one counting. I’ll count 1, 2, 3 one time before we start the dance. Okay?” the cheerful girl explained. Everyone voiced their agreement. “Well, 1, 2, 3…”

The dance started. Rui led Nene through the dance as he had learned it. He did the steps flawlessly and twirled her at the right times. It was a little awkward to do this dance without music, but they made it work. It finally ended and they parted from their final position. Emu cheered and Tsukasa boasted about how the dance had gone very well. The mood was cheerful.

They took a small break before trying again with the music. They went back into position and Nene gave the signal for NeneRobot to start the music with lyrics. And so, once again, Rui led his childhood friend through the dance. He started humming the tune to himself and Nene glared hard at him. He didn’t stop, he couldn’t help himself, the music was enchanting. He was swaying with the rhythm and getting lost in the music. 

“Rui!” Emu snapped him out of his thoughts with her cheerful voice. “Let’s switch partners!” He was confused and saw that the two duos were quite close to each other. The other leader of the dance looked at him with a mischievous look in her eyes. “3, 2, 1” She counted down before anyone could say anything or realize what was happening. She threw Tsukasa in his direction, and he did the same with Nene automatically. Both followers made noises of surprise and protest as they were thrown into their respective leaders. Suddenly, Rui truly snapped out of his thoughts and realized what he was doing when his star landed in his arms. He tensed and blushed as he realized he had caught Tsukasa and the smaller one’s head was pretty much buried in his neck. Rui’s arms were wrapped tightly on his star’s back and, the second he realized that, his grip lessened.   

“Emu!!! Why did you do that?” Nene exclaimed, embarrassed.  

“Hehe! I wanted to dance with you! Since they were doing quite good, I thought they would be ready to practice together.” Emu giggled. “Now, let’s continue the dance!”  

That snapped everyone out of their shock. Tsukasa finally looked at Rui with a super red face and wary eyes. The director flashed him a reassuring smile and put his hand on his shoulder. He grabbed his hand and decided to try acting as his character. Rui forced his body to relax and looked at Tsukasa softly. The blonde boy’s eyes became wide, and he looked very nervous.

“Tsukasa let’s do this. I’ll count to three and we’ll continue the choreography. Okay?” Rui confidently said.  

“Y-yeah! We can do this! Just because this is unexpected doesn’t mean a star like me cannot take up the challenge!” Tsukasa was back to his normal self and put his hand on Rui’s arm. He looked determined.

“1, 2, 3” Rui stepped forward and Tsukasa followed hesitantly. After a while, they fell into a graceful rhythm in each other’s arms. The music bewitched them and there seemed to be nothing else but the two of them in this world. He could feel the warmth of Tsukasa’s hand on his weirdly gloved one. His star’s grip on his arm was tight yet did not hurt. It felt like it was meant to be there. Their steps were in sync and their bodies swayed to the rhythm. He felt his coat and hair sway with his movements and saw the way Tsukasa’s bangs also moved. It was mesmerizing. They were so close that he saw every detail of the boy’s face. The slight blush on his face, the small upward crease of his mouth, his beautiful eyelashes that were around his soft loving eyes… He was so beautiful. His star was beautiful. It was no wonder he fell for him.   

Literally.   

Rui got distracted by Tsukasa’s beauty and took a step too soon, tripping over the other’s feet and landing on top of him. They landed with a grunt, and Rui was buried in Tsukasa’s chest. It was warm and comfortable; he suddenly had the urge to fall asleep and hug the other boy. And so, he closed his eyes and…

“You idiots! Who’s the one who got distracted?” Nene angrily said. Emu was laughing at them and bounced towards them with her girlfriend in tow. Rui didn’t want to get up. He nuzzled into the boy’s chest and the other squeaked.  

“R-Rui! What are you doing?” His love said. Rui chuckled and sighed contently.

“I’m sleepy~” He wrapped his arms around his beautiful star which earned him a surprised squeak. Rui was intoxicated by Tsukasa’s sent; it was addicting. Everything about him was. His warmth, his beauty, his love, everything. His star was wonderful. He had the urge to kiss him.   

“W-we still have practice! Did you even sleep yesterday? You didn’t, did you?” Tsukasa grumbled and mothered him. Rui opened his eyes and put his hands on both sides of Tsukasa’s arms. He pulled himself up and looked at his beautiful love with all the love he had in him. 

“Mhm… I slept, but practice can wait, Kasa~” Rui said teasingly. He looked at his star and saw that the boy was under him, looking confused, shocked, and frozen. Rui started caressing his hair softly with a fond smile on his lips. What a beautiful boy Tsukasa was. So wonderful, so loving, so caring… 

“K-kasa? R-Rui, are you alright? You-” Rui chuckled and put his finger on Tsukasa’s lips to shush him. The boy looked at him incredulously, but the director could not help but see the beautiful blush on his face. All for him!   

“Silly Kasa~ I’m fine.” Rui slowly started closing the distance between them. He started caressing Tsukasa’s bottom lip in a teasing way. It was soft. Oh, how he couldn’t wait to taste them and feel them on him. So close. Only a few centimeters and they would breach the distance. His eyes were locked onto his lips. He could feel Tsukasa’s hot fast breath on him and his chest going up and down. Their heartbeats were synched. There was nothing else in this world that mattered. Only Tsukasa.

He heard a squeal but continued to try to close the distance.  

Wait… a squeal? That didn’t come from Tsukasa. But they were alone?    

Wait!!! His brain screeched. Stop you fool! What do you think you are doing?  

What am I doing? Well kissing my love, that’s what, he answered.

He’s not your love, you dummy! He has a soulmate out there that’s not you! Wake up! Before you make an irreparable mistake! His brain yelled at him.  

It’s not a mistake, silly! I love him! So what if he has a soulmate out there? He (?) replied.

Snap out of it! You’ll get hurt. Listen to me! I beg you! You can’t get hurt like this again! His brain snapped.  

But it’s Tsukasa! Kasa is nice, beautiful, caring, and overall wonderful! He would never hurt us! His heart fantasized.

We thought the same thing of him now look at us! His brain countered.

The mention of him immediately snapped him out of his daze. He froze, only a few inches away from Tsukasa’s lips, and immediately stood up and got off of him. 

“Haha! Yes, practice. Um, how about we take 5, everybody, and then come back to rehearse the script? That’s enough dance practice for today.” Rui clapped his hands and didn’t wait for a response. He had already messed up way too much. He quickly walked to the closest bathroom and went into a stall. He slammed it and sat down, burying his head in his hand. The foolish boy had to calm his burning face and his racing heart. This had been an insane mistake. There was no way he would recover from this. This was it! He was toast! Done! Unable to come back from this. Tsukasa wouldn’t think they could still be friends after this.   

Or could he… Maybe, but he was too distressed to think properly. His heart had taken over his actions for way too long. And it had been dangerous! What a mistake that would have been indeed! He wouldn’t have been able to go back to the way things were before if he had kissed him. Friends don’t kiss other friends on the lips like that! Unless they are drunk. Or want to ‘practice’. And that was none of those!  

Okay. He had to pull himself together and go back there. Practice was not done, and the five minutes were almost over. Rui took a few shaky breaths, splashed water on his face, and looked at his dumbass in the mirror. He didn’t look too much like a mess, so he went back out, feigning that nothing had happened. The slightly flustered director walked to the stage and saw Tsukasa sitting down on the benches, looking dazed. Emu was giggling and Nene was pointedly ignoring the poor boy. 

“Let’s start practicing the script, shall we?” Rui told them as he came back. Tsukasa came back to reality and looked at him. He immediately became redder than a tomato and his eyes widened nervously.  

“A-haha, um Rui! Y-you’re back, well, um, l-let’s start practice,” Tsukasa blundered. This was a terrible sign. Horrible even! Not only could it affect their show, but it could mean Tsukasa finally discovered both of their feelings. 

No, he shouldn’t think such things and concentrate on the show. Rui had made a mistake, but he could run from it.   

Nene looked at him angrily while Emu grinned at him. The couple went into position and waited for the two boys so they could start practicing again. Tsukasa ran to his position, still bright red. The boy took a deep breath and Rui decided to start saying his line as the narrator. 

The rest of the practice went horribly. The scenes where Rui and Tsukasa were acting together were lackluster. The blonde actor refused to look him in the eyes. Worse, during the confession scene, it was like all of the practice they had done had been useless. Tsukasa was unable to say his lines. Rui also fumbled and had to look away in embarrassment. Nene stopped them and slapped both of them on the head for their idiocy.  

“Enough!” she yelled angrily. “This is all your fault Rui! Why’d you have to be an idiot and do that? Solve your issue, you two! I’m done!” She stomped away and Emu quickly followed her, giggling. It was only Tsukasa and him left. He glanced to the side at the blonde boy, and it made Tsukasa flinch. He became red again and looked at him with wide eyes.  

“W-well, practice over! I-I have to go home to Saki. I-I’ll see you tomorrow at practice!” Tsukasa stuttered and quickly went to change. It took barely any time before he emerged back out and took his things. Tsukasa practically ran away from him.  

This was bad.

Rui felt his heart fall and his brain screech about how stupid he was. He decided to start cleaning up the place numbly to distract himself. It took thirty minutes, and he was ready to walk home. He observed his surroundings to calm himself. The pretty camellias in the park, the colorful lights of Phoenix Wonderland, the debris in the streets… He eventually reached his house and immediately went into his garage to flop on his couch. He wanted to make progress on the props and machinery for the show, but he knew he would be too distracted. He forced himself to sleep.   

The next day, he went to school hoping to ignore the situation and talk to Tsukasa as usual. They would hang out and eat lunch on the rooftop. He was wrong. When he arrived at school that day, he saw no blonde hair. The lonely director walked through the door, no sign of him there either. He walked to the boy’s class, got sneered at by the friends of the girl who confessed to Tsukasa, saw no one, and went to the rooftop. No one. No shining star, blonde hair, loud voice, nothing! Rui was starting to get annoyed and grumpy. He decided to go to his class and sulk at his desk for the whole period. During the break, he immediately went to Tsukasa’s class and saw him there. He was packing his things, so Rui entered and went to him.   

“Tsukasa! Good morning!” the purple-haired teen smiled at him. The boy jolted and looked at him, turning red immediately. 

“R-Rui! H-hey! Um, I have to go to the bathroom before class and um, I’m busy during the rest of the day. I-I’ll see you during practice.” Rui blinked and Tsukasa was already outside the door. He heard whispers and snickers from the others in the class. They were so loud, but he was so stunned that he stayed frozen for a few moments. The shocked boy snapped out of it and decided to go to the rooftop. He numbly went up the stairs and opened the door, receiving a bit of fresh air. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and the tree leaves were swooshing. It was a beautiful day. But it was wasted. 

He closed his eyes and let the air wash over him. So, Tsukasa was ‘busy’. More like avoiding his director and doing a bad job of hiding it. All because of a stupid mistake. Rui finally did it, making Tsukasa scared of him, repulsed even. All because he was controlled by his foolish heart and let himself lose control.   

No, that was his foolishness and hurt talking. Tsukasa was madly in love with him. It would be impossible for him to be so scared by an almost kiss. Rui had shot him out of a cannon, made him fly, and asked him to do other dangerous things. An almost kiss was nothing. 

So why was Tsukasa avoiding him? The obvious answer would be that it was because he finally found out about his crush on Rui, but that couldn’t be, right? They had been in a similar position before, but the smaller boy had rationalized it to play fighting. What was so different this time?

Rui had been the one on top initiating.

It couldn’t be that simple, right? No, Tsukasa had to still be oblivious. At least, for Rui’s sake.

After taking a few deep breaths, Rui figured Tsukasa would simply avoid him today and that would be it. He was wrong. The next day, his star was still avoiding him somehow. This time, the lonely director didn’t even get the chance to catch him once! He wasn’t in class, or at his locker, or outside, or on the rooftop. Rui decided to just sit down on the rooftop and sulk for the duration of the breaks. He also sulked in class. He only got to see Tsukasa during rehearsals, but the boy was avoiding eye contact and not talking to him. They couldn’t practice the confession scene and onward properly which made Nene incredibly frustrated. 

Three days after Tsukasa had started to ignore him, he was sitting on the rooftop alone during lunch break, not eating, just existing. It was another beautiful day wasted because his star was avoiding him. He had started associating the rooftop with something far more positive than before. It was no longer a place of loneliness where he and Mizuki would find comfort in each other or a place where he would come to calm down after stressful or painful situations. No, the rooftop had become the place where he had met Tsukasa. Where they would eat lunch, make scripts and talk about shows. Now, it was just Rui alone again. Just a weirdo on the rooftop. There was no longer his oddball by his side.  

But the people who go on the rooftop nowadays are only couples or weirdos.  

Shut up.

The door opened and he immediately stood up to look at who it was.  

Kasa! His heart screamed with joy.  

Orange.

Oh.  

He plopped back down and sulked. He didn’t even say hi or anything to the orange-haired junior that had decided to come to the rooftop.   

“Oh, Kamishiro. Geh!” Shinonome started to say with his usual disdain. Rui didn’t answer, instead, he looked at the sky in a detached manner. “Huh? Where’s the other weirdo in your little duo?” The director made a face and ignored his junior. He was not in the mood to have a conversation with someone who disliked and sometimes antagonized him. 

“Nothing to say? Well, that’s odd,” the carrot-haired boy continued. The sky looked very pretty, and it almost had no clouds. “Wow, did you two break up?” That finally got his attention. He looked at the boy annoyed and glared.

“We weren’t together,” he mumbled bitterly.   

“What? You were still not together. I thought at least you made a move in between the last time we were on the rooftop. Ugh, I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything.” Shinonome rolled his eyes. There was silence as Rui simply looked at his surroundings while feeling lonely. How pathetic! He already missed Tsukasa and it hadn’t been a week. This was the danger of letting his heart do as it pleased, now he was hurt and slightly depressed.   

“Okay, um, dude, are you okay? This is getting slightly worrying.” The yellow-eyed boy felt Shinonome stare at him. He was getting annoyed and wanted to be left alone.  

“What does it matter to you? You rarely care about my well-being, often avoid me, and now this?” he said with a little venom. Rui hadn’t meant to, but he was bitter and sad. 

“Geez dude, you don’t gotta be like that! So, you got into a fight with Tsukasa, clearly. How many days has it been?”

“Three,” he replied very bitterly.  

“Only three and you’re this depressed.” Rui could feel the judgment. 

“You’d be worse off if it happened between you and Aoyagi,” he said a little meanly.   

“H-hey! You don’t know that! Besides, this ain't about me. Look, what did you two weirdos even fight about?” Shinonome aggressively asked.  

“I made a mistake,” the older boy simply answered.

“Oookay… can ya be a little more specific?” Shinonome insisted. Rui frowned and glared at him.  

“I accidentally fell on him during our dance practice and was so out of it I almost kissed him. Now, he’s avoiding me,” Rui snapped and crossed his arms in frustration.

Akito stared at him incredulously and blinked a few times. 

“Huh? He’s… avoiding you?”  

“Yes!” Rui snapped again.  

“Calm down, geez. It’s just hard to believe that, is all. Especially for a reason like that,” Shinonome added with sass.  

“What do you mean?” he grumbled and his junior sighed.

“Ugh, I already involved myself in this, didn’t I? Fine! It’s cause Tsukasa is head over heels for you!” Shinonome looked at him expecting some reaction.  

“I know,” he just said, slightly defeated.  

“H-huh? You know and you guys are still not together?” The ginger-haired boy had wide surprised eyes.

“Uh-huh,” Rui said numbly.

“Don’t uh-huh me! The fuck you mean you guys aren’t together when you know he’s head over heels for you and you’re down horribly for him?” Shinonome looked like he was going to explode and kill someone.   

“Cause he’s oblivious to it. Both his crush on me and my feelings for him,” the purple-haired director just said as if it was obvious.

Akito’s eyes twitched in annoyance.  

“So? Just tell him! What kind of dumbass excuse is that?”  

“No.”

“What do you mean no?” Shinonome was getting agitated.   

Because he has a soulmate and  

“Because he’ll eventually leave me.”   

His junior was silent. 

“How do you know that for sure?”

Because he has a soulmate and

“Because it happened time and time again.”

Shinonome looked at him with slight pity. It was a weird look on the usually gruff guy, but it wasn’t too abnormal for a situation such as this. 

“I didn’t know you had abandonment issues, Kamishiro.” Ouch, there was no need to say it outright. “But you know, Tsukasa’s not the type to just up and leave. He’ll fight for his friends. You know that more than anyone, or so I’ve heard the story from Toya. Just give him a chance and give yourself a chance too.” Rui looked at Shinonome a little more clearly. He was right about that. Tsukasa did cherish the people around him greatly. He defended them, cared for them, and loved them without remorse. Tsukasa was a star. And he shone so bright, illuminating the path for all those who were lucky enough to meet him. And Rui was one of those blessed people. Tsukasa wouldn’t simply stop shining for him, he would try to fight for them to stay together. Rui should at least give him the chance to do so-

Stop being stupid. You thought the same thing when you were with him now look at you. Pathetic, you cling to hope when there is none. Are you stupid enough to think anyone would fight for you? Especially him.  

But others have! Like Nene and Mizuki.  

They still left. They just came back by chance.  

But they still came back! That must mean something, right?  

That they are dumb and have no self-respect.

Don’t say that about them!  

It’s true. Why would anyone willingly hang out with us? We are a weirdo! A freak!

That’s not true! We are someone who deserves love and care!

No! Face reality, our place is on the sidelines. It’s better that way!  

No! Please! It’s painful being on the side! We don’t have to go back to how it was! We have people who care for us now! Kasa cares for and loves us! Why can’t we just give this a chance?  

Because it will hurt! It won’t last! You know this! Listen to me, I am doing this for our own good! Listen and don’t act irrationally!  

His head and heart hurt. They were fighting and his brain was winning once again. He couldn’t give this a chance. It would hurt, he knew that.   

“… I don’t think I will.”  

“Seriously?” Shinonome deadpanned.  

“Yeah.” His junior looked at him very judgmentally, it actually gave him shivers. He clearly couldn’t wrap his head around Rui’s reasoning, which was fair. Shinonome couldn’t see the red strings of fate, he didn’t know that Tsukasa had a soulmate out there. “You don’t have to understand why. I’m fine with the way things are.”  

“Clearly not since you’re so out of it, you’ve been sulking by yourself on the rooftop because Tsukasa’s been avoiding you,” the ginger-haired boy sassed.  

Rui was getting quite annoyed with his junior.   

“Look, this doesn’t concern you. Judge me all you want for not wanting to try being with Tsukasa given our situation, but you don’t have all the details-“  

The door opened and Rui was harassed by the color red. He nearly turned blind at how disgusting and aggressive it was. That damn string! On a day like this! It taunted him. Aoyagi walked over to his boyfriend.

“Akito!” The bicolored-haired boy smiled brightly, reminiscent of Tsukasa’s smile. Damn. Wasn’t Aoyagi Tsukasa’s pseudo-brother. Now Rui’s mood sank even more. Aoyagi saw him and his smile became more polite. “Oh, and Kamishiro! You’re not with Tsukasa today?” Rui tasted something sour in his mouth.

“No. I’ll let you two together. Good day.” Rui stood up and expressionlessly walked towards the door, making his calm junior quite confused.

“Kamishiro?”  

“Don’t get involved in this Toya. Just let him sulk.” Rui felt Shinonome’s glare in his back, but he ignored it, just like he ignored his previous jab. He rolled his eyes and decided that he had had enough of school for the day. He snuck out and went directly back home to force himself to sleep until rehearsal.

Luck just had it that it had been five whole days since Tsukasa started ignoring him. He was going insane or simply just going back to the ways things were in middle school. Today, he had walked into Kamikou and heard the whispers. They were bad, really bad, and loud. It made his mood twenty times worse. Not only was Tsukasa not by his side, but now, people knew something was up between the two of them.

“Did they break up?” some rando said. 

“The weirdo looks depressed now. Poor dude got dumped,” another whispered.

“At least there hasn’t been any chaos and weirdness this week,” a student added.

“I almost feel bad for him,” someone pitied.

Why were they so loud? This had nothing to do with them! Rui wanted to either tear out his ears or hair, he wasn’t sure. Instead, he decided to skip class altogether and go on the rooftop once more. Another beautiful day wasted. At least the air was calming. He took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes, forcing himself to numb his thoughts. A few minutes passed and he heard the door open

Kasa? His heart hoped. 

Shut up.

He looked to see who the unwanted visitor was and saw pastel pink. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that unwanted. At least it wasn’t Shinonome with his judgmental self or, worse, Shiraishi who would force him to go to class. 

“Well, well! Who do we have here? Is that Mister Kamishiro I see? You haven’t skipped class to go on the rooftop since middle school. What’s the occasion?” Mizuki walked up to him with a smile and plopped next to him. He let his head fall on their shoulder and said nothing.

“Rui? What’s wrong?” they said with slight worry.   

He nuzzled in their shoulder and grumbled:  

“Tsukasa’s avoiding me.”

Mizuki tensed and started playing with his hair.   

“What?” They didn’t actually ask. They were just saying it incredulously, not understanding how that would be possible. “How? Um, why? Whuh?”

“We were practicing a waltz and I got lost in his eyes. I accidentally fell on him and was a little out of it, so I almost kissed him!” he recounted with embarrassment. Mizuki made a sound between laughter and pain.  

“That’s… something. Still, why is he avoiding you?”

“I just said!” the older boy snapped.  

“Um… I don’t believe you. If anything, he should be glued to you,” Mizuki said a little thoughtfully.  

“You’re so mean to me Mizuki! It’s the truth! He’s avoiding me now! It’s been 5 days!!!” he whined. Mizuki stopped playing with his hair.  

“Five days? This guy’s been avoiding you for five days? Tsukasa Tenma? The guy who's head over heels for you? The guy you also like and you’re somehow not dating yet?” they loudly questioned.  

“Yes, yes! He’s been avoiding me, okay? I’ve been having withdrawals,” he joked, but also slightly wasn’t. He was indeed sad and going insane.   

“You’re so pathetic! You’re worse than me. You know, if you had actually kissed him, he wouldn’t be avoiding you. But no, you are a coward!” the pink-haired teenager judged.

“Mizuki! You’re supposed to be comforting me! Can’t you see I’m sad? It’s been hard this week!” He detached himself from their shoulder and flopped onto their lap, looking blankly at the ground.  

“I know! But you know, you brought this on yourself, boy friend. You need to stop being scared. You told me you were afraid that he’d leave, and I know that. I know how that feels, it’s the same for me with Ena and the others. I’m scared that they won’t accept me when they find out about my identity. But you, you don’t have to be scared. You know they accept your weird hobbies and quirks. Tsukasa, he likes you for what you are. He won’t leave you. If he did, he would have done so long ago. He wouldn’t have fought to have you specifically as his director. But he did. Because he likes, no, he loves you,” Mizuki said with honesty. “Be honest with your feelings. Stop trying to push your happiness away.”   

“I… know. But the problem isn’t that. It’s that… he’ll leave me eventually if we end up dating.” Rui had difficulty explaining this to them.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because… I’m just not made to have these sorts of relationships.” Pain. It was painful to admit it once more.  

“Is it because you think no one could possibly love you romantically, at least for long? Because you know that’s not true. One bad experience doesn’t mean all of them will be. Don’t let what that guy did get to you anymore.” They were wrong. No one could love Rui like that for more than one, maybe two years. He could try for a relationship but knowing it would end would just drive him insane eventually, waiting for his doom.  

“I- well look. Maybe that is part of the reason why, but I also know that he’ll leave me. I can’t get myself into this, get twice as attached as I already am and then lose him maybe a year later. Two if I’m lucky. Or worse… even more.” He closed his eyes and let the pain wash over him. Mizuki’s hand in his hair was soothing. He enjoyed it when they played with his hair. They had started doing it when they found him lying on the ground on the rooftop in middle school, skipping his class because he was tired of it all. They always played with his hair, but the specific way they did it, a calm steady rhythm with light scratching, was only reserved for when he was feeling depressed.  

“Why are you so convinced he’ll leave? Rui, we are talking about Tsukasa here. A guy who loves his sister to death, adopted his childhood friend as a pseudo-brother, time and time again making sure you would never hold yourself back when you are with him. He really cares deeply for those in his life, you know that more than anyone. Why would he leave you when he’s fallen so deeply for you?” Mizuki said calmly.

Rui’s breath hitched. 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he whispered  

Mizuki hummed.  

“Okay. But just so you know, I hate seeing you so down like this. You’ve been so happy since you met him and that’s really great. It just kills me to see that you force yourself to be unable to be truly happy,” they said with a slight note of sadness.  

They stayed in silence for a while, the bell rang but they didn’t care. Mizuki’s comforting hand in his hair, the warm air, the birds chirping, and the wind blowing; he was starting to feel at peace. His heart still ached, but it started lessening.  

The door slammed open. 

Kasa???  

Stop hoping for something stupid.  

He felt Mizuki tense up and their hand stopped. Rui slowly opened his eyes to see who had disturbed them.   

Blonde

Kasa!!! His heart screamed in joy.

The boy’s eyes were wide and there was a hint of hurt. Rui immediately sprang from Mizuki’s lap and instantly put a soft smile on his face. 

“Ah, Tsukasa. You finally came up here again. What’s the occasion?” he started.  

“R-Rui!” Tsukasa’s demeanor changed and he blushed slightly. “I was searching for you, and you weren’t in your class. You’re pretty fast.”

Rui just smiled.   

“Ah, um yes.”  

“Haha come on, admit it for once,” Mizuki betrayed him. “See, your director here skipped class. He felt a little rebellious today.” They snickered. He glared at them and crossed his arms.  

“You WHAT?” Tsukasa yelled so that the whole school and everyone all the way to his house could hear. “Rui! You can’t just skip class! It’s important that you go and learn these important things. As the director of WonderlandsXShowtime, it’s important that you keep your grades up for your future and for the sake of the troupe. We still need our genius director, after all.” It was impressive how this whole speech didn’t make sense when applied to him. As if skipping one class would make his 100s average even drop a little. If anything, it would be more productive for him to skip class every day and only come for tests since he could focus on anything else of importance, not just be told over and over about things he already learned when he was a kid.   

“Tsukasa… it was one class…”  

“And as if it’d change anything. You should know this guy doesn’t need to go. Even if he did, he would just do literally anything else. Besides, it’s not the first time and it definitely won’t be the last,” Mizuki blabbed again.   

“Mizuki! It was the first time… since I’ve transferred to Kamikou,” he protested.

Mizuki chuckled. 

“This guy used to skip all the time in middle school.”

“What??? Rui, stop skipping class! I know you don’t need to go, what with your freakishly insane memory, but you should still go because you might miss deadlines or important announcements,” Tsukasa scolded a little bitterly. 

“Mizuki!!! Stop exposing me! Besides, I stopped after middle school. I only skipped once during my time at my old high school, and it was an emergency.”  

Ah! Why did he say that? His heart clenched as he remembered why he had skipped that day. Another wave of pain washed over him, and he felt his mood drop significantly. He couldn’t keep his smile, especially after the previous conversation he had with Mizuki and especially now that he saw Tsukasa in front of him. Tsukasa, the boy he loved, but would leave him. The boy with a tiny red string on his pinky, still pointed in his direction, giving him false hope for no reason. 

Damn, why did he look at it again? He had done a good job of ignoring it since the day he had accidentally looked at it. His heart was crying in joy, but his brain chastised him. He felt the light in his eyes turn sad and his heart yearned for the boy in front of him.

“Rui?” Tsukasa was walking towards him, looking worried at his change of mood. Damn it. He had messed up again. It seemed these days, he could only mess up. 

“Rui… hey, look… don’t think about that. You know what? How about you two talk things out together? There’s a lot that you guys need to sort out.” Mizuki got up. “I’ll leave you guys to do your thing. And Rui, I hope you can make the best choices for yourself and one day be truly happy. In the meanwhile, I’ll always be waiting for you on the rooftop.” Mizuki echoed his words and walked away, softly closing the door of the rooftop entrance behind them.

Rui looked at the floor, trying to regain his smile or simply make the pain of his accidental reminiscence of a worse time leave. He heard footsteps and someone sat down next to him.  

“Hey, look um, I’m sorry about this week. I was just um busy with exams and making the show costumes and um-“

“There’s no need to lie to me, Tsukasa. It’s okay. I made a mistake and you’ve been avoiding me. It happens all the time. It’s fine.” That sounded insanely pathetic, even from him. He was too sad to care.  

“A-a mistake? Um, I mean, um look, well-” Tsukasa stammered and searched for his words. He sounded uncertain about how to breach the topic of how Rui almost kissed him.   

“Y-you know, I’ve been wondering why you almost… um… kissed me. Y-you know? Not that I’d mind or anything- s-since I’m a star and I’d be good practice for the show! Of course! B-but why?” Tsukasa loudly said with confidence. Well, false confidence to mask his uncertainty. Rui could tell; his star’s voice was slightly higher pitched than usual.   

Rui didn’t really know how to answer. He had an entire week to come up with an explanation and he didn’t. He needed to find a lie that made sense and quick. That was when an idea came to him. Rui often put Tsukasa in potentially dangerous situations for shows. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that he did that to help Tsukasa feel less shy and awkward about their scenes in the show. Or even better, the kiss scene during the marriage at the end. It didn’t make any sense, but it just might make a twinge of it. And Tsukasa might buy it.   

“Because… we’ve been practicing the confession scenes for a while, and it seemed to still make you nervous. I thought if I put you in an even more awkward situation, you would stop being so nervous during that scene. My plan backfired though. I went too far, I’m sorry.” He didn’t look at Tsukasa during his entire speech for fear that he might see how the blonde boy didn’t even slightly believe him. 

“Haha… i-is that so? Okay then. Y-you could have told me before…” Tsukasa sounded… disappointed. This was a bad sign. Terrible even. But at least he somewhat probably believed him and that was good enough for Rui.   

“Well… then my plan wouldn’t have worked either. As I said, I apologize for pushing too far. I won’t do it again.” Rui finally looked at the blonde boy and saw how slightly sad he looked. His heart cried for him to tell the truth and make everything better.   

Kasa sounds like he wanted us to actually kiss him. Tell him! Tell him how much you wanted and still want to!  

Stop! Stop! No, he doesn’t know that he wants that. Please, he can’t! Not yet! Not so soon!

“It’s… fine. Yeah, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it, Rui! We can forget about it and focus on the show. I’ll make sure to nail that confession scene. And please… don’t hold back. As you said, it was a ‘mistake’.” He said ‘mistake’ with such bitterness. No! “I don’t want you to think about it anymore.”  

“Okay.” Rui gave him a small smile and they spent the rest of the break talking as usual. It seemed Tsukasa had gotten over his weird funk where he was blushing immensely in his presence. That was good. It had been a false alarm.

Or not.  

They went to practice that evening and finally were able to get through the confession scene. They were even able to dance the waltz while Rui sang the whole song. It had been a great rehearsal. The director wondered what had changed. How come Tsukasa was suddenly able to do all these things which he struggled with the day before? Well, best not to question it and be happy with this change.

At the end of practice, he walked home with Nene feeling like all the weight on his shoulders had been lifted off. Tsukasa wasn’t ignoring him anymore and the show was turning out great. What more could he ask?   

“Well, good news for me and bad for you. Tsukasa knows about his feelings for you. He asked Emu about it, who told me. I’m just relaying the message. What’s your next move?” Nene told him, snapping him out of his happy stupor.

Oh.  

Tsukasa knew… now. He had made such a stupid mistake that he had made Tsukasa realize his feelings for him.   

Yay!!! 

Aahhh!!! No!!!  

Of course, Tsukasa realized his feelings for him. He would have had to be a complete brain-dead idiot not to. Tsukasa was oblivious, not stupid. Rui liked his bimbos, but not complete dumbasses. And it would take someone blind and with a pea for a brain not to realize their feelings for someone after an almost kiss.   

Or just be completely oblivious like Tsukasa had been for the past months!

Well, it was too late. Rui had messed up badly. This was what happened when you kept playing with fire, hoping the fire would extinguish itself as your hand passed through it. It didn’t, clearly! Now he was burnt, but at least the burn was only on his hand, not his whole body.

Yet.  

He had to do something about this.  

He didn’t know what his next move would be yet, but he had the show to think about first and foremost. It was coming up in a few days. Maybe he could figure out a solution to this in the next few weeks. 

In the meantime, the clock was ticking, and the sand on the top half of the hourglass was lowering. Soon, there would be none left.  

Chapter Text

Today was the day they would put on their show in front of an audience. Everything was ready. The props were built, the costumes were designed and the lights were set. Rui had set up his device to change the decor and had tested it a few times. It was working perfectly. He needed to remind himself to thank his Dad profusely after the show for his help. Everyone had memorized their lines perfectly, and the tougher scenes for the troupe were now done without mistakes. Tsukasa and Rui were still getting slightly flustered at the confession scene, but it wasn’t making them unable to continue anymore. It felt more natural and a part of the scene itself.  

They were ready for this. Rui knew the show would go smoothly and would probably be well received. He was still dreading the waltz scene and the confession scene, but he had mentally prepared himself to perform without flaw during the month.  

Yesterday’s full rehearsal with costumes and everything had gone well, so he knew the performance would be the same.  
 
The director arrived very early as usual to set up the decor. He expected to be alone but was surprised to see a certain pink-haired girl waiting for him excitedly. Sometimes, she came early on show days just to help him, but it was not always the case. On days when she did come, she was very excitable and would practically bounce around like the bundle of joy she was. He enjoyed setting up the stage with Emu. It went twice as fast and she always talked about fun things.

The purple-haired teen greeted her and they started their routine checkups before setting up the stage. Emu looked like she had something to say, so she did. 
 
“So! Wanna know something exciting that happened a few days ago?” The girl bounced up and down in place. 
 
“Of course, dear Emu.” He smiled at her and was now very curious. 

“Oooooh, it’s such great news!!!” She was wiggling in place now with how excited she was. “Sooooo, Tsukasa came to talk to me. Wanna know what he said?” Emu looked at him with a mischievous look in her eyes. He knew where this was going. It was about how his star had a crush on him. Was this the reason she came so early today, to talk to him about how Tsukasa and him ‘should’ start dating? 
 
Rui sighed and said a little defeatedly: 
 
“What did he say?” His smile grew strained. 
 
“Eek! Rui, you don’t even know what he said! Why are you already so sad?” Her ability to grasp emotions so quickly was both amazing and annoying. Annoying when used on him.  
 
“I have my guesses, but tell me.” He stopped completely what he was doing to look at the ground. Emu seemed a little less excited and more worried now. 
 
“He just said that he liked you. In the doki doki wah sort of way. He asked me for advice on how to ‘forget about it’ not too long ago. I said he shouldn’t forget and actually try to go for it!” Emu said cheerfully, but there was a hint of nervousness as she saw Rui’s demeanor drop at her last sentence. 
 
“And… what did he say?” he whispered to the air. 
 
“He said he’d think about it. He really doesn’t believe you like him back. It’s weird because of course you do! It’s obvious! The way you look at Tsukasa is the same way I look at Nene, according to her” Her voice was still very cheerful and high pitched. 
 
“Why are you telling me this? Aren’t you in a way breaking Tsukasa’s trust by telling me?” the director asked. 
 
“Well… I guess so. But it’s okay because I know you know he likes you. Just like you like him!” Emu rationalized. 
 
“Then why are you telling me if I already know?”  
 
“So you can get out of your ‘funk’ as Nene says! If I tell you he realized his feelings and might confess, you’ll be happy and finally be together with Tsukasa,” Emu reasoned. 
 
“No. I won’t,” Rui bluntly said as he looked at her sadly. 
 
“You won’t be happy?” Emu stopped bouncing and cocked her head. 
 
“Well… It’s complicated. But we won’t be together,” Rui just said, looking to the side with a heartbroken smile. 
 
“Why??? You like each other a lot! You guys are like soulmates hehe!” Soulmates. 
 
Yes!!! 
 
No! 
 
His heart beat fast in happiness while his brain throbbed in disapproval. Why did Emu have to remind him of something so painful? That Tsukasa and he did seem like soulmates to others. But they weren’t. It made him extremely bitter and he couldn’t hide the scowl on his face.  
 
“We aren’t soulmates,” he said through his teeth. 
 
“You totally are!!! Just like Nene and I! You two are so cute together and make each other so happy! If you aren’t soulmates, then they don’t exist!” The happy girl wiggled in place as she tried to convince him. 
 
His mood was getting worse as she kept mentioning the word soulmate. 
 
“Look, Emu. I hate to say this, but please don’t say such things.” He tried to sound nice, but it ended up being too blunt and emotionless. 
 
“What??? Why???” She wasn’t smiling anymore. 
 
“Tsukasa and I aren’t soulmates… if such a concept exists…” Rui wasn’t about to admit his little secret to Emu. She would believe him, but that was not the problem. He simply didn’t want to be reminded of it, questioned, or asked to look at the strings. 
 
“What??? Why do you say that?” There were many emotions going through Emu’s eyes. 
 
“It doesn’t matter. Look, Tsukasa and I… we aren’t meant to be together like that,” he softly said.

Emu looked confused. 
 
“Why???” 
 
“It just wouldn’t work out.” 
 
“Does it have something to do with the troupe?” Emu asked and looked extremely sad. She had a smile on, but her shine was gone. 
 
“Huh?” 
 
“Do you think this might affect the troupe? That you two getting together might… make the troupe fall out or something?” Emu asked, her voice conveying a little pain. 
 
“That’s…” he started. Perhaps that was a part of it. Because eventually, when Tsukasa would break up with him, what would happen to the troupe? It would never be the same… if it even continued existing at that point. If the troupe fell out, he would probably see Nene less often, Emu even less, and Tsukasa… he would never see Tsukasa again. At school, maybe he would see him… but would the blonde-haired boy even want to look at him? Would Rui even want to see him after being broken off with? 
 
“You know, I don’t think it would really change much. You two are already pretty close and both like each other. Nene and I, we would be happy to finally see you two get together,” Emu started, looking far more soft and calm than usual. It took him by surprise. “The troupe might even grow more resilient. And even if it did change anything, I’m sure it would be fine.” 
 
“Emu… it’s just, when we eventually break up-“ 
 
“That won’t happen! Or at least, not anytime soon.” She seemed convinced by her words. 
 
“When we eventually break up, I suppose that might break off the troupe.” That was certainly not his main concern, it being dealing with such a heartbreak, but it was also a stressor. He liked their troupe. It was a home, a place where he could truly be himself and have people who accepted him… well accepted the things he decided to show them. That was good. That was already way more than what most people did for him. 
 
“Rui…” 
 
“So, I don’t think he should try to confess. Maybe he was in the right mindset to think he should forget about it,” Rui said with his eyes shining sadly because of the morning sun. “And maybe he should find someone better too,” he mumbled that part, voice slightly cracking.  
 
“That’s not true! You two are meant for each other! Two peas in a pod!” She put her two index fingers together.  
 
“It would simply never work. He’ll leave me eventually. That’s just how it is. It’s impossible for us to last long term.” His heart shattered again, as it did every time he had to remind himself of that fact. 
 
“But Rui! You always make the impossible happen! See, you created this.” She pointed at his mechanism. “So that we could create a super duper wonderhoy show. You created that by yourself in a month, maybe less! All while creating the decor, preparing the lighting, coding your robots, directing us, and practicing the show! It’s something that would be impossible if it wasn’t done by you! Tsukasa! He also makes the impossible happen with you. He was able to improve his acting in such a short amount of time! He somehow does all these incredible things you ask him to do and he’s good at them! So I know it’s possible for the both of you to make this work.” 
 
“It’s different when it comes to matters of the heart! Creating a robot, that’s easy. It’s mostly predictable. Emotions and other people, they’re not. And with a robot, if it fails, then it’s just too bad. No tears shed, not hurt. I can just easily try again or find a solution. But with him… I can’t do that! If it’s over, it’ll hurt! I can try to fight, sure. But what’s the use when the result will always be that he breaks up with me?” Rui had gotten way too emotional. Emu didn’t deserve to hear his rant and stupid thoughts. She was a ball of happiness and brightness. Sure, she had her bouts of sadness, but she didn’t need to hear of his pain, especially when hers was similar. She too feared the day their troupe would fall apart. She too didn’t want what they had to disappear. She deserved happiness… and so did Tsukasa. Emu was Nene’s sun and Tsukasa… Tsukasa was Rui’s star. Both childhood friends basked in their shine.  
 
“But Rui-” 
 
“Please… let’s just forget about what I said,” he cut her off. There was a silence as Emu looked at him sadly, no smile in sight. 
 
“Hey… yesterday I watched the sunset,” Emu started and he simply listened, slightly confused at this change in topic. “It was super duper pretty! I got to see it with Nene! She looked super pretty with the light shining in her hair and eyes. It was breathtaking!” Her eyes lit up as she started talking about her girlfriend. How cute. 
 
“I can imagine,” he just added, not knowing where this was going. 
 
“But you know, even if it was super pretty, it was a little sad.” She put on a sad smile. “That meant the day was over and Nene had to go home soon. But then she said we could stargaze! And we did! And eventually… we did part ways… but we still had tons of fun.” 
 
“That’s great Emu. I’m glad you two are having fun together.” 
 
“The thing is… the sun will always set. There’s nothing I can do about it. Somedays, that means I can see the stars, other times, there might be none. But the sun will always set. It will come back eventually. Maybe the next day will be cloudy, or it might not. It will come back.” She paused. “You know… I used to hate the sunsets. You guys helped me appreciate it. Yeah, all good things come to an end eventually. It could be because of many things, but even so, all good things have to start somewhere. Sure, there won’t be an end if there’s no beginning, but you see if you don’t begin, you don’t get to see how the day goes. If you stay asleep all day, you won’t get to see the sun. So Rui, I think you should give yourself a chance to see the sun. Even if there might be a sunset at the end of it, it could be in a few years or it could be when death do you two apart, but at least you’ll have seen the sun.” 
 
“But I really don’t think I could stand to see the sunset. Not after seeing the sun. Going back to the night… it would be too painful,” Rui said sincerely. 
 
“So… you would prefer to sleep during the day? That way you never see the sunset?” Emu asked with pity. 
 
“Yes.” 
 
“But wouldn’t that make it so your life is very dark?”  
 
“I suppose so. But you see, at night, there are still stars. I like to watch them from afar. Their light is enough for me. I don’t need to see them up close,” Rui explained with slight hope in his voice. 
 
“That’s-” 
 
“You guys!!!” They heard a very familiar and loud voice. “Are you ready for the show today???” Tsukasa ran towards them and beamed. Emu’s and his expression immediately changed. Emu was cheerful as usual and he had his happy cat-like smile on.  
 
“Wonderhoy Tsukasa!!!” she practically screamed in joy.  
 
“Fufu~ Of course we are! Well, we just need to set up the decor and then we’ll start on costumes and makeup, how about it?” Rui happily said. 
 
“What? It’s not done yet! Usually, you always finish before I arrive! And I never know how you do it!” Tsukasa was flabbergasted. It was true; usually, Rui finished setting up the decor before the others arrived. He was simply that fast and efficient. He had been distracted today. Oh well, they still had plenty of time and it would go even faster now since they would be three to set the stage up. 
 
“Oops~ My bad my star.” 
 
“T-that’s not- I mean- It’s not a reproach!” Tsukasa stumbled with his words, getting flustered at ‘accidentally offending’ his director. “Ugh, this just means you need a star like me to help you set everything up!” He confidently posed and pointed at himself. 
 
“Hehe~ Of course! Let’s finish this! Won-won…” Emu started. 
 
“Wonderhoy!!!” the three exclaimed together and got to work. A few minutes later, Nene joined them and Emu tackled her in a hug. His childhood friend got flustered as usual but smiled genuinely.  
 
And so, with the four members gathered and the stage set, they started getting ready for the show. Everyone was putting on their costumes, checking for last-minute preparations, putting on their makeup and styling their hair, or rereading their lines for the last time. Excitement was at its highest. Tsukasa was practically bouncing in place and so was Emu. Nene looked a little more nervous, but she was still smiling and happy to be able to perform. Rui always felt excited the day before and the day of the show. He felt his heart beating very fast and he felt like exploding. The director had what the others would call ‘his crazy grin’ plastered on his face and he was unable to make any other expression because of the joy he was feeling.  
 
Rui had finished changing and putting on his makeup. His costume was a long open black dress coat with purple highlights at the bottom part of it. He wore tight black pants and black shiny shoes. His hands were covered with silky black gloves. Under the coat, he had a dark blue blouse, and tied to his neck was a white jabot cravat with a purple gem brooch. On his head was a big black top hat decorated with a beige bow and black flowers on the top. He had a beautiful dangling earring made of purple amethyst. Mizuki had lent it to him because they thought it would be a nice cute detail. Part of his hair was hiding his left eye, but most of the hair was hidden because of his hat. He had replaced his usual red eyeliner with a purple-colored one and put on some mascara to make his eye pop. He was very ready. He was now helping his pink-haired friend in getting ready. She didn’t try to breach the topic of their previous conversation, it would have been too dangerous and risked Tsukasa overhearing. After all, the backstage was not that big and they could hear everything. 
 
He was just about to finish helping Emu with her makeup when Tsukasa approached him.  
 
“Hey, Rui. Could you help me out with something,” the blonde actor asked. 
 
“Give me just a second. I need to finish with Emu here.” He added a few little touches and put a little gloss on her lips. “There, all done. Tell me how it looks.” 
 
“Won-won-wonderhoy!!! Rui, I look so cool!!! The dark eyeshadow really helps to make me look mean and hmpf.” She made a frowny face. “I look like a very cruel queen hehe~” Emu jumped around in joy.  
 
“Woah there. Don’t get too excited yet. You’ll mess up your hair.” Rui smiled as he warned her. 
 
“Hehe~ you’re right.” She beamed at him. “I'll finish up the preparations and go see Nene. I’m sure she looks gorgeous as always.”  
 
Rui turned to Tsukasa who had been patiently waiting for him to finish.  
 
“How can your dear director help you, my star?” Rui smiled softly. 
 
“W-well, I’ve been struggling with my makeup a little bit, so I was wondering if you could help me.” Tsukasa looked a little embarrassed. He was going to give Rui a heart attack.  
 
 
“Sure. What do you need help with specifically? I see you already put some contour and highlight. Very nice.” Tsukasa’s face was literally glowing under the light. It was more than very nice. 
 
“I-I was thinking of adding eyeshadow and mascara to really make my eyes pop, you know,” Tsukasa shyly suggested.  
 
“... and why do you need my help with that exactly? Don’t get me wrong, I would love to help. I just think you are more than capable of doing it yourself,” Rui questioned, trying to get out of this one. 
 
“A star like me is more than capable of doing something like that… It’s just hard for me to see what I’m doing. It’s my first time putting stuff on my eyes and I wouldn’t want it to look bad… Ah but, it would certainly be beautiful and artistic, just…” Tsukasa trailed off, slightly flustered.  
 
“A-alright. I’ll help you out with this. What should we try? A more natural look maybe?” Rui started, trying his hardest to ignore his dread. 
 
“That would be great!” Tsukasa plopped down on the chair Emu was just sitting down on. “Work your magic, my director!” Rui’s eyes widen a little bit too much. His face burned and his smile felt out of place. His star was bold today, it made his heart become wild again.  
 
"Fufu… I-I’ll do my best, my star.” He distracted himself by gathering the supplies he needed. Mascara, eyeshadow, blush, lip gloss… He had what he needed. Rui took a deep breath. “Close your eyes and let’s get started.” 
 
“Okay… but don’t poke my eyes!” Tsukasa joked. He did as Rui asked and fluttered his eyes shut.  
 
“Fufu~ no promises.” The director took the brush and brushed it against a beige-colored eyeshadow rectangle on the palette. He started applying it near the root of Tsukasa’s eyelashes. He blended it upwards. He then chose a brown colored eyeshadow and applied it at the lash line. He blended it to create a seamless transition. The purple-haired teenager then moved on to the second eye and did the same thing. His brushing was soft and he was very focused on his work. He hadn’t felt like overcomplicating the makeup look since Tsukasa simply wanted his eyes to pop more. Besides, the less time he spent on this, the less time his heart would feel like exploding.  
 
Rui continued working in silence and took out the mascara. He grabbed Tsukasa’s cheek to stabilize him and gently applied it to his star’s long eyelashes. They were already lustrous and pretty, he didn’t know why he bothered adding mascara. Well, his eyes would certainly pop more now.  
 
“There,” he said after a while. “I’m done with your eyes. I just need to add one more thing and you’ll be ready.” His star opened his beautiful sunset-colored eyes. Rui took out the gloss and grabbed Tsukasa’s chin with one hand, tilting it upward slightly. “Purse your lips slightly for me.” 
 
“E-eh?” Tsukasa blushed brightly. “Y-you’re- what- huh?” 
 
“I want to apply this gloss on you. I think it would look pretty and make your lips shine more. It would complete the look, don’t you think?” Rui smiled. 
 
“A-ah, yes! I-it would indeed look great. I trust your judgment.” His star pursed his lips and looked at him shyly. The tip of his ears was red as Rui started gently putting on the gloss. His stare was focused on Tsukasa’s lips. How beautiful and kissable they looked. He had chosen a strawberry gloss for Tsukasa; if they kissed, it would be delightful.  
 
But they wouldn’t. 
 
Tsukasa’s breath seemed to fasten subtly as Rui applied the gloss. But soon enough, the moment was over and the director pulled away, releasing his grip on the boy’s chin. 
 
“I’m done. Turn around and tell me what you think.” 
 
Tsukasa turned to face the mirror and touched his face.  
 
“Wow! This really does make my eyes pop! A look truly fit for a star like me! Thank you, my director.” Tsukasa had stars in his eyes and turned to face him with a wide grin.  
 
“Of course. It’s my job as a director to make my star shine brightly on stage.” Rui felt himself relax as fondness oozed from him. He forced himself to look elsewhere then at his shiny beautiful star. “I’ll go check on the others before the show starts. If you need anything, tell me. But you should be ready.” He turned around to go see the girls when he felt a grip on his arm. Tsukasa’s hand was wrapped around his wrist. The shiny boy was standing up and looking at him with an intense gaze full of love. Rui turned to face him completely, taken aback by the sudden action. His star moved his hand to put it in his, intertwining their fingers together and looking at them with the same intensity as he had just looked at Rui. His smile was sweet. All aimed at him. The director felt warm, not just in his hand, now in Tsukasa’s, but his face was on fire. 
 
“Let’s make this show a success, my director,” he said with such softness. Rui had no words. They stayed like that for a while, Rui not having the courage to let go, until Tsukasa detached his hand from his and walked up to him. “I think we should go check on the others as you said.” He had practically said that in Rui’s ear. It made him twice as flustered and almost sick at how the butterflies in his stomach all started to fly at the same time. Tsukasa walked to the girls and he stayed there, too stunned to move.  
 
The out-of-it director snapped himself out of his daze and turned around to face the others who were on the opposite side of the room. 
 
“I-I’ll be right back,” he simply told them. His eyebrows had hit his hairline and he was starting to sweat. He was feeling a little too hot for his own good, so he grabbed his water bottle and almost ran to the bathroom, feeling Nene’s glare and hearing Emu giggle.  
 
He slammed his stall door and started drinking the contents of his water bottle. He chugged the whole thing before feeling slightly less flustered. He took many breaths and recomposed himself. Rui didn’t have time to be out of it, the show was about to start. He went backstage once more and apologized for his disappearance. The rest of the preparations were done. Everything was ready and it was time. 
 
“Everyone, the show is about to start. Let’s make it a success,” he proudly told them.  
 
“Alright, Emu. Do your thing,” Tsukasa said. 
 
“Hehe! Won-won-Wonderhoy!!!” she exclaimed with her iconic arm movement. The troupe repeated after her and smiled. 
 
It’s showtime. 
 
They quickly got into position. The curtain opened and Tsukasa was on stage waiting by a prop tree, looking down. He was so beautiful. His hair was gelled up to his head and was glowing in the light. He had tight white pants and a white jacket full of little shiny trinkets and white flowers. He had a prop sword on his left hip. The beautiful blonde boy looked more like a prince to Rui if anything. 

“Long ago, in a faraway kingdom, there lived a knight called Charles. He was a very brave and strong renowned knight in the kingdom. Everyone liked him. Especially the kingdom’s princess who had fallen for him. The knight, too, had fallen for her and they often met each other by the apple tree. Today, he was waiting for her as usual,” Rui recited with an enchanting narrator voice. 
 
Nene walked on stage, a gorgeous flowy blue dress swishing with her steps. Tsukasa looked up to her and smiled softly. He took her hand, bent down on one knee, and kissed it. Nene looked to the side with a small smile. The blonde-haired knight stood up, still holding her hand, and loudly proclaimed: 
 
“Oh Princess Marie, the pearl of my eyes and the love of my life. You make my days brighter and give me a reason to smile every day. Every time I see you, I become a little more smitten each time.” He let go of her hand and bent down on one knee again. Tsukasa pulled out a little box and opened it to reveal a diamond ring. “Princess Marie, will you marry me?”  
 
The audience gasped and awed. Nene put her hands to her mouth in surprise and said: 
 
“My knight, marrying you would be like a dream come true. But first, you must ask my mother, the queen,” Tsukasa put the ring in his pocket and Nene took his hand to help him stand up. 
 
“Then, let’s go ask her right now,” Tsukasa proudly said. They walked off the stage and the curtains closed. Rui quickly used the ropes to lower the decor for the scene and lifted the tree prop away from the stage. Emu quickly sat on the throne and put on a bored look. The curtains reopened and Tsukasa and Nene walked hand in hand. They stopped in front of the throne and bowed. 
 
“State your business,” Emu said coldly, very differently than her usual cheerful self. She was a very talented and convincing actor and Rui could tell she had greatly improved since the first time they had performed together. 
 
“My Queen! May I be so bold as to ask a request of you?” Emu lifted her eyebrow and gestured at him to continue. “May I take your daughter’s hand in marriage?” Tsukasa bowed deeply with a hand on his heart. 
 
“Hmpf, knight Charles of Rivière-du-Loup. A knight renowned for his prowess in battle and undying loyalty to the kingdom. Beloved by all, my daughter too, it seems. It looks like she has fallen for you. You seem to be the perfect man for her.” Emu’s eyes were judgemental. 
 
Tsukasa’s eyes lit up.  
 
“Thank you, my Queen.” 
 
“But,” Emu’s voice resonated. “I must see how devoted to my daughter you truly are. Do you really love Princess Marie of Chateaugay?” the queen asked while looking at him intently. 
 
“I do. I would do anything for her.” His hand was to his heart as he said these words with sincerity. 
 
“That’s what I wanted to hear. Now, your last mission before I let you marry my daughter will be to eliminate the lonely alchemist living in a tower in the Baie forest.” Emu’s eyes were very cold. The dark eyeshadow and mascara on her face helped make her look even more cruel and evil than her character was. Her black long dress and sharp crown looked beautiful but menacing. 
 
“Anything to be able to marry the princess.” He turned to Nene and smiled. “The next time we meet, we will be wed,” he said confidently.  
 
“Don’t think this mission will be a cakewalk. This alchemist is a menace to our kingdom. Many other knights and kingdom soldiers have tried to eliminate him, but all have failed.” Emu made a hand movement. “He yields strong magic and reports have stated that he has killed every knight or person associated with the kingdom’s royalty when they pass by ‘his’ territory. Reports have also stated that he lets commoners pass through without interference.” Emu stopped and looked at Tsukasa coldly. “Your mission will be to dress up as a commoner and befriend this lonely alchemist to eventually lower his guard enough to eliminate him.”  
 
Tsukasa bowed and replied: 
 
“Yes, Your Majesty.”  
 
“You are dismissed,” Emu said monotonously and with a dismissing hand movement. Tsukasa walked off the stage and the curtains closed.  
 
Rui quickly changed the decor to add trees and a tower. The lighting became darker. The now alchemist climbed up the tower from behind. The curtains opened and Tsukasa walked towards the tower with looser dull dirty clothes. His hair was more of a mess than when he was in his knight costume.  
 
“Oh no! I seem to be lost.” He looked up at the tower. “Oh thank goodness there seems to be someone living here who might help me find my way back.”  
 
Louder the knight said:  
 
“Excuse me, is there anyone there?”  
 
There was no response but a faint rustling could be heard from the window. Tsukasa cleared his throat. 
 
“I said, is anyone there?” Tsukasa yelled. 
 
Rui popped his head from the window and angrily replied with his fist shaking: 
 
“Who’s causing a ruckus?” He looked down and saw Tsukasa. “What are you doing here? You should know better than to trespass on someone’s property.” 
 
“I-I’m sorry sir. My name is Antoine and I am a shoemaker. I seemed to have lost my way and ended up here. Would you mind telling me the direction to the nearest village?” the knight nervously said with a high-pitched voice. 
 
“You dare cause such noise for simple directions. Well, you are in luck since I will tell you.” The purple-haired alchemist raised his arm and pointed towards the audience. “It is in that direction. You should be careful, little shoemaker, there are people out there who would not be so nice as to let you pass. Now scram!” Rui said harshly and closed the blinds loudly. Tsukasa looked dejected and walked off. 
 
“For many days, the knight tried to befriend the alchemist using many different tactics. Time and time again, he failed to even have a decent conversation with him. That was until…” his prerecorded voice said. On the stage, Tsukasa could be seen trying to talk to Rui who kept opening then closing the blinds. After his voice finished explaining, Rui quickly ran down the tower and walked until he reached a little to the right of the tower which was on the left of the stage. He crouched down so that the audience could only see his back. He took out a rubber bird that he had hidden in his costume’s sleeves and kept it in his hand.  
 
Tsukasa quietly walked up to him and peeked over his shoulder curiously.  
 
“Oh, what’s that? A dove?” the knight asked. 
 
Rui possessively put the bird closer to his heart and turned to face Tsukasa with a glare. 
 
“It’s you again. I should have known. When will you leave me alone?” he said coldly. 
 
“Geez, that’s no way to greet someone.” Tsukasa bent down next to Rui. 
 
“Why are you here?” Rui snapped and took a step back. 
 
“Well… Oh, is the dove hurt?” the wonderful 'commoner' approached again. 
 
“What’s it to you?” the alchemist scrunched up. 
 
Tsukasa shuffled something from his pockets and pulled out some white bandages. 
 
“Here, I have some bandages so we can wrap the little guy up. Let me see it.” Tsukasa looked at Rui with a hopeful look while showing the bandages. Hesitantly, the alchemist detached his hands from his chest and showed him the bird. Immediately, Tsukasa started wrapping the bandages around the bird’s wings. Rui looked at him suspiciously until Tsukasa looked back with a sigh. 
 
“All done! Hopefully, the bird can heal soon,” the blonde boy said softly. Rui hesitated for a moment and let the bird go lightly with a soft smile. 
 
“Why did you do that?” 
 
"Why, because it was hurt of course.” Tsukasa tilted his head. 
 
 
“Hmm. You must be a kind person then.” Rui kept looking at the bird.  
 
“Thank you haha.” They fell into a small silence until the alchemist broke it. 
 
“S-so I was wondering why you kept coming here, even when I kept telling you to go away. You must have a poor sense of danger.” Rui looked at him intently, with no malice, only curiosity.  
 
“I-danger? What danger?” Tsukasa exclaimed, eyebrows to his hairline. 
 
“The wild animals and different magical creatures living here could attack you. Not only that, but you keep coming to talk to a stranger who wants nothing to do with you. What if I was dangerous?”  
 
“You’ve never attacked me and the creatures here seem well-behaved. I don’t see why I shouldn’t come here,” the knight shrugged. 
 
“Yet, you try to talk to me and I continually refuse. Why do you keep trying?” The cracks in his little gruff persona were showing. 
 
“Because, I heard that you’re an alchemist and I found that interesting,” Tsukasa said with confidence. 
 
“Y-you don’t think it’s weird or dangerous? The kingdom banned that sort of magic a few years back, you know?” There was a slight tone of insecurity and wariness in his voice.  
 
“Of course not. I think it’s cool and I don’t understand why it was banned from the kingdom. I’d like it if you could show me some tricks some time.” Tsukasa looked genuinely interested in his craft and had stars in his eyes. 
 
Rui looked at him shocked, and then his face turned serious. A green light illuminated from his hand. Tsukasa had wide eyes as did the audience. The bird then ‘flew’; Emu was pulling a string up and down to make the wings flap and they played a flapping sound effect. 
 
“W-wow! I didn’t know you could heal. That’s amazing.” Tsukasa jumped up. 
 
“Fufu~ Of course I can heal. I’m an alchemist after all.” the alchemist stood up and brushed his pants. 
 
“So does that mean that you never have injuries?” Tsukasa inquired. 
 
“Sadly, I have not found a way to heal myself yet, but I am sure that one day, it will be possible.” Rui smiled a little. 
 
“Are there any more spells that you know?” 
 
“Of course. I am an expert in the arts of magic after all,” Rui proudly said.  
 
“Can you show me?” The blonde boy cocked his head and put his hands to his chest excitedly. 
 
“You would want to see more?” Rui voiced his disbelief. 
 
“Yes please.” Tsukasa said happily. 
 
“You are an odd one, Antoine. I do not understand your intentions.” the purple-haired alchemist was wary, shaking his head. 
 
“Hehe, well… I want to be your friend.” Tsukasa rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand and smiled nervously. 
 
“M-my friend?” Rui stopped moving and really looked at the knight, eyes very wide. 
 
“Yeah! You and I will get along great. I know we started off on the wrong foot, but that’s in the past. So, what do you say.” Tsukasa perked up. 
 
Rui turned to the side and blushed. Of course, the reddening was not part of the script, but he couldn’t help himself. His star was just so radiating as he said those words to Rui. 
 
“W-well… I suppose I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” The alchemist nervously shifted. 
 
“Great!” The knight jumped and pointed at Rui. “Now can you please show me some other spells? I’m dying to see more.” He looked at the sky. “Ah, it’s getting late! I should go back before I get lost again.” 
 
Rui put a hand to his mouth and laughed: 
 
“Fufu~ Guess you’ll have to come back soon to see some more magic then. Until next time, Antoine the shoemaker.” Tsukasa turned away and ran, but stopped himself. 
 
“Wait! I’ve never gotten your name.” 
 
Rui looked longingly at him with a smile. 
 
“It’s Albert. Albert the Alchemist.”  
 
“See you tomorrow, Albert.” The knight ran off the stage and Rui looked at him, smile still in place. 
 
The next scene was set in the same decor. Rui had quickly run up the stairs of the tower before it started. Tsukasa once again made his presence on stage and yelled: 
 
“Good afternoon, Albert! How are you doing on this fine sunny day?” Yellow-eyes peeked out of the tower and looked down.  
 
“Oh, Antoine the shoemaker. I am well, thank you. Give me a moment, I will be down soon enough.” 
 
Rui quickly ran down the stairs and walked up to Tsukasa.  
 
“You came to see a new spell, did you?” His tone was very different from when he had to act as a cold alchemist who didn’t want anything to do with the knight. 
 
“Yeah, that and I wanted to get to know you better.” Tsukasa approached him a little bit. 
 
“Get to… know me better?” Rui was taken aback. 
 
“Yes, the only thing I know about you are your name and that you’re an alchemist. I want to know what you like and dislike.” The shiny knight smiled. Rui put a finger to his chin in thought. 
 
“What I like, huh? I suppose I like flowers and the different creatures in the forest. I also like magic, of course. I also like to build different things. Things I dislike, well, there’s blood and violence, I suppose. Oh, and the kingdom since it banished alchemy.” Rui looked shyly at the commoner. “What about you? What do you like and dislike.” 
 
“I like making shoes, seeing people smile, playing the piano, and singing. I hate evil and when people are unhappy,” Tsukasa proudly said. 
 
“You play the piano?” Rui asked curiously. 
 
“Yeah, ever since I was a child.” 
 
 If I were to show you my spells… would you play a piece for me someday?” The alchemist shyly looked to the side. 
 
“Haha, you don’t have to phrase it like it’s a contract, but sure. I don’t know how though since there’s no piano out here.” Tsukasa was still beaming with a smile. Even when acting, the boy was always a star, on stage or out. 
 
“I’ll build it for you.” Rui perked up.  
 
“You can do that? Wow, that’s incredible. Then it’s set. I’ll play the piano for you Albert.” Tsukasa looked impressed. 
 
Rui smiled softly and turned to look at his hands. He crouched down to the ground and put his hands in front of him.  
 
“Now, for today’s spell.” A green light illuminated from his hand and the alchemist took out the rose he had been hiding in his sleeve. It probably left many scratches, but Rui didn’t care. The rose signified the new blooming love the alchemist started feeling for the knight.  
 
“Wow! A rose grew from the ground. It’s so pretty!” Tsukasa exclaimed. Rui plucked it from the ground and showed it to the knight, arm as long as possible. He looked away and blushed. 
 
“Here, you can have it. As a gift from today’s visit.”  
 
Tsukasa took it and twirled it in his hand. 
 
“Thank you. I’ll cherish it. Oh, it’s getting late. I’ll see you tomorrow Albert.” He stood up and waved him goodbye. Tsukasa exited the stage in a light run. 
 
“See you tomorrow.” He looked in the direction the blonde boy had left longingly.  
 
Tsukasa returned on stage and the alchemist was examining some of the trees.  
 
“Oh, Albert. You’re out of your tower today. What’s the special occasion?” 
 
“I was examining these trees to see if they had any disease in them. I was healing them.” Rui looked at the knight. 
 
“That’s very kind of you. You really like nature, don’t you?” Tsukasa approached him a bit more. 
 
“Yeah, I find it fascinating. The trees in this forest are mostly deciduous and their leaves are so pretty. I find the way they managed to gang up and create such an interesting biome fascinating. I also like to observe the smaller plants like this camelia here. To think it can manage to be so vibrant in color and survive in such an environment where green and brown are the dominating colors. And… Ah, apologies. I’ve been too carried away.” Rui put a hand to his mouth and turned to look at the tree. 
 
“No. Don’t worry about it. Besides, I like hearing you talk about the things you like like this. To think you could be so talkative about nature. I’ve never actually taken the time to look at it like that.” The blonde knight also stared at where Rui was looking. 
 
“R-really? You like hearing me talk?” The alchemist softly said and shyly looked at the boy. He was getting way too into this. 
 
“Yeah. You have a lovely voice too.” Rui blushed. 
 
“W-well, in that case… let me tell you about the dove that we healed a few days ago.” Rui’s eyes shone. 
 
 
“The two new friends started talking every day. The knight kept visiting him and the alchemist waited for his visit with impatience. The alchemist showed the knight one spell per day and the knight eventually brought some shoes he had designed. The knight was slowly starting to like the alchemist and forget his mission. They truly became friends and he was happy to see him every day. They grew close in such little time. Two weeks had passed and the alchemist finally finished building the piano he had promised,” his prerecorded voice said. During its monologue, Tsukasa waved at him and approached him again. They fake talked and Rui occasionally laughed without sound. He smiled more genuinely and his eyes shone brighter.  
 
They rolled in a piano covered with a white sheet and put it next to the tower. Tsukasa walked up to him and didn’t even have time to say his usual greeting. 
 
“Oh, Antoine. You’re finally here. I’ve been waiting for you.” Rui practically ran up to him. 
 
“Eh? Albert? What’s got you so excited this afternoon?” 'Antoine' was slightly taken aback but recomposed himself. 
 
“Fufu~ you’ll see. Come here.” Rui grabbed the knight’s hands and ran towards the prop. He pulled the sheet and revealed the piano. 
 
“Tada! I finally finished it!” he loudly exclaimed. 
 
“Wow, you really made this?” Tsukasa was shocked. 
 
“Of course. Well, do you like it?” Rui looked desperate for his approval. 
 
“I love it! Can I try it?” Stars were back in the knight’s eyes. 
 
“Please do,” Rui whispered, loud enough for the audience to hear though. 
 
The blonde boy sat down on the bench and played a few notes just to test the tuning. He stretched his fingers and started playing Clair de Lune. The alchemist looked at him with incredible fondness and love in his eyes. He was always mesmerized by Tsukasa’s playing, so much so that he almost forgot how to breathe. Oh, how he should play more often. For Rui. The song came to an end and Tsukasa turned his attention to him, 
 
“So, how was that?”  
 
“Hypnotizing,” he breathed out. 
 
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Tsukasa said proudly. “Oh, that reminds me. I brought some new shoe ideas I had. Wanna see?” 
 
“Always.” Rui looked still out of it. 
 
The 'commoner' pulled out some papers from his pocket and opened them up. 
 
“So, you see. I was thinking of making the top with leather and the bottom with dyed rubber. The color I want to use is purple since it looks so cool, like your hair.” 
 
“Is that so.” The alchemist blushed.  
 
“Yeah, anyways I’m not done designing it yet, but I’ll make sure to show you the final design soon. Oh, look at the time. I should go back before it’s too late. Goodbye, Albert!” Tsukasa turned away and ran off the stage. Rui stood still, looking at him longingly and with a hand to his chest. 
 
“See you tomorrow, my little shoemaker,” he said, oozing fondness. 
 
Tsukasa returned again. This time, Rui approached him with a big smile full of love. He snatched his hands and pulled them flush to his chest. 
 
“Dance with me. Do you know how?” The alchemist said with a flirty look in his eyes. 
 
“Y-yes, but what’s this all of a sudden?” Tsukasa’s voice was slightly shaky.  
 
 
“I wanted to waltz with you. So, shall we dance?” Rui’s voice was breathy. 
 
“S-sure,” Tsukasa relented. 
 
This was it. The moment he dreaded the most. That and the scene right after. Rui could feel the warmth from Tsukasa’s chest and his fast heartbeat. He felt cold sweat run down his back as he swallowed harshly. Tsukasa was looking at him so beautifully, that he really wanted to kiss him. None of his emotions showed on his face, of course, and the time for his waltz arrived. He snapped his fingers and the melody of Honeymoon Un, Deux, Trois started to play.  
 
Rui led them through the dance, twirling Tsukasa around majestically. He sang with his whole chest, every note showing how much he loved Tsukasa… showing how his character loved the knight. Tsukasa was looking at him with sunset-colored half-lidded eyes, lost in his. It was them, and only them. The audience disappeared. The lights shone beautifully on his star as usual. The boy’s blonde hair swished magically. Beautiful. Breathtaking. Tsukasa was just so elegant and wonderful and incredible and… 
 
Oh… God… I love him so much… It’s unbearable. 
 
The music stopped and they let go. Both actors were breathing harshly, hearts running a thousand miles an hour. This had been one of the most exhilarating scenes he had ever performed. No canon, underwater show, or any other dangerous stunt could be more adrenaline-inducing than their dancing. Tsukasa was looking at him with incredible fondness which helped him deliver the next line extremely convincingly.  
 
“My shoemaker! That was amazing! You dance so well, I can still feel my heart beating.” He clenched his chest tightly. “You looked so beautiful right now. Always so dazzling.” He breathed in deeply and grabbed the other’s hands. “I think I've fallen madly in love with you,” Tsukasa, “Antoine.” 
 
Tsukasa blushed madly which wasn’t a part of the script, but well, anyone would if someone you had an infatuation with confessed to you, even if it was just for a play.  
 
“W-what!!!” the knight exclaimed and retracted his hands. 
 
“Please, just listen before answering,” he begged. “Ever since I was banished from the kingdom, I have been lonely. But you, Antoine, came into my life and changed that.” 
 
“Why were you even banished from the kingdom?” Tsukasa asked, taking a step back. 
 
“Because I had fallen for the prince. I used to be a renowned alchemist of the kingdom, yet the queen never treated me well. She forced me to perfect my craft alone and made it difficult for me to meet new people since alchemy was and is still a forbidden art. She was cruel, but even so, I continued doing the things I loved. One day, I met the prince in the garden and he saw me doing magic. He found it interesting and started talking to me. You are much like him in that sense. We talked every day and slowly, I fell for him. We started secretly dating behind the queen’s back and we were having a great time. But nothing gets past the queen and she eventually found out. She immediately arranged a marriage between the prince and a princess from another kingdom. The prince fell in love with her and left me behind, forgetting about all those happy memories. They happily wed, the queen haven taken the one I loved. She banished me from the kingdom soon after. After that incident, I never thought I could love again, but you, Antoine, changed that. I couldn’t help myself, you shine so brightly, care about me, and are interested in the things I like. I… love you!” The audience gasped.  
 
 “I-I…” everyone held their breaths. “I think I’ve fallen for you too.” Gasps. The audience must have been wondering what was going to happen between the princess and him. “I don’t know how, but every day, I keep coming here, excited to see you. Every time you smile, my heart beats faster. I thought I knew what love was, but you changed my definition. Oh dear, I thought I was in love with someone else, but it turns out I've fallen for you. I need to make things right and break it off with my soon-to-be betrothed.” Tsukasa looked like he had just discovered something life-changing. 
 
"Y-you were going to get married?!?” Rui asked, slightly pained. 
 
“Um, yes, but I think I would be far happier with you by my side. My alchemist.” Ooh. Chills. All the words he ever wanted to hear his star say were said in this play. That he and Tsukasa had written. He did this to himself. His heart was clenching painfully. 
 
“You would really choose me, a lonely pathetic alchemist living in the woods, over the person you were to marry?” he asked shyly. 
 
“Always. You are so precious to me. And don’t say such things about yourself. You are the most kind and beautiful person I know. I feel like I’ve known you my whole life, yet we’ve known each other for such a short period of time.” Those words were so genuine, that he couldn’t help but grin goofily, like the dork in love he truly was. He approached the boy and used his hand to lightly tilt his chin up. 
 
“Then please, may I kiss you, my love,” Rui said while looking at his lips intently. 
 
“Please.” the knight whispered loud enough for the audience to hear. He closed his eyes and pursed his lips. Rui slowly approached both of their heads and also closed his eyes. Their lips were almost touching, if he could lean in just a little more, they would press.  
 
But that wasn’t how the scene was intended to finish. 
 
Nene arrived on stage and gasped loudly with her hands pressed to her mouth in a cartoonish surprised way. Both boys pulled away quickly and turned to face the noise. 
 
“H-How dare you? You would do this to me? We are to be married. My mother even almost blessed us.” She turned away sobbing loudly and ran out off the stage. 
 
“W-Wait, Marie, let’s talk this out.” Tsukasa tried to reach out.  
 
He turned to Rui and apologetically said: 
 
“I-I have to make this right and break it off with her.” 
 
“That was your fiance?” 
 
“Yes, anyways I will see you tomorrow, Albert.” He chased after her and Rui looked at him with love. 
 
“I’ll see you soon, my love,” he said while touching his lips softly.  
 
He walked off the stage as the curtains fell. The decor changed once again and they added more trees to replace the tower. The curtains reopened with Nene running and sobbing while Tsukasa was chasing her. He yelled at her to stop, grabbed her wrist and they stood in place.  
 
“Please, wait!” the knight exclaimed. 
 
“Were the words you said true? Did you really mean it when you told him that you had fallen for him? Or were those part of the act my mother asked you to put on?” she asked aggressively not looking at him. Her breaths were heavy. Tsukasa didn’t answer, he simply looked at her with pity. 
 
“Answer me!” she screamed, tears falling from her cheeks. 
 
“... yes. I meant every word I said. I have fallen for him. I think we should not get married. I’m sorry,” he said and let her hand go, looking ashamed. Nene turned to look at him with intense anger in her eyes. 
 
“So you would leave me for him? He, who has been banned from the kingdom by my mother? He, who has tried to take away my brother from his destined wife? He, who is detested by my mother?” She upped the intensity of her words after each sentence. The princess was clenching her fist and gritting her teeth. She looked like she was about to punch him.  
 
“Yes.” Tsukasa simply answered, smiling softly with a hand softly on his chest. His eyes were incredibly soft while saying these words. It took Rui’s breath away from his place backstage.  
 
Nene turned red from anger and shook her fist. 
 
“How dare you? My mother had almost approved of you, only asking you one last mission and you do this to me! You went and fell for another,” she yelled. She paused and started laughing. 
 
“You think you can just reject me? The princess? Mother will not be pleased with you. To think you would go against her wishes like this.'' She approached him and snatched his shirt. “Don’t forget that we were to get married. You are mine, no matter what you think. We will be getting married, whether you want to or not. It is what my mother wants, after all.” Nene let him go and walked off the stage, leaving Tsukasa flabbergasted.  
 
The scene changed and so did the decor, they were once again back at the castle, in the Queen’s throne room.  
 
“The next day, the knight was summoned by the Queen,” Rui narrated.  
 
Tsukasa walked towards the throne where Emu was sitting, looking coldly at him. He was now in his knight outfit. He bowed and looked at the queen. 
 
“So, I have heard that you tried going against my orders and wanted to break off your engagement with my daughter. All to get together with that alchemist I asked you to befriend and eliminate. I am very displeased. To think you would try to betray me like this,” the Queen loudly said with frost. 
 
“I’m sorry my Queen,” Tsukasa replied. 
 
“Very well, I am feeling merciful today. You will face no punishment if you complete your mission by tonight and get married to my daughter soon after,” she sharply said. 
 
“My Queen, I cannot do that. He is not as bad as you think he is. He does not deserve to die. Please-” Tsukasa begged. 
 
“Silence.” Emu’s voice resonated through the stage. “I will be hearing none of it. You will be doing as I order you to and that is final. If you do not, I will eliminate both you and everyone you love without mercy.” 
 
“My Queen, please. I love him. Please don’t make me do this.” His voice cracked as he begged.  
 
The queen laughed cruelly at him. 
 
“I order you to eliminate him and marry my daughter. You are dismissed.” The queen did a dismissing hand movement and some robot guards came to drag him out. Tsukasa was looking at the ground shocked, as if his whole heart had been ripped from his chest. 
 
The scene changed and they were back near the alchemist’s tower. Rui was standing near a tree, waiting anxiously for the commoner to arrive. Tsukasa had once more changed costumes. He walked to Rui with a blank look on his face and the alchemist ran towards him with pure, unfiltered joy. He hugged him tightly. 
 
“My love, I almost thought you would never return to me and that what you had said was lies. I am glad to have been proven wrong,” he said into his shoulder.  
 
“I will always return to you. But there were complications with my fiance.” They pulled away to look at each other but Rui’s hands were still on his waist. Rui was looking at him with worry. 
 
“So, what will you do now?” 
 
“I will… well. I have to get married to her.” He pulled out the knife he had been hiding in his sleeve. “I cannot go against the Queen. I’m sorry.” Tsukasa stabbed him in the stomach and blood poured down his shirt. Well, he ‘stabbed’ him and popped the little red water bag under Rui’s costume. The purple-haired boy bit the little edible balloon full of red water in his mouth and spat some of it. It drizzled down his chin. 
 
“Eh?” he exclaimed in pain. Tsukasa ripped the knife out of his chest and Rui fell onto him. “W-what?” he said, voice broken.  
 
“I’m sorry, my love. I deceived you all this time. My real name is Charles of Riviere-du-loup. I am a knight from the kingdom. I was engaged to the princess, Marie of Chateauguay. To marry her, the Queen tasked me to eliminate you by befriending you first.” He held onto Rui closely. 
 
“Is that so?” He laughed bitterly. “Well, it seems you’ve successfully finished your task, congratulation on the future marriage haha. I suppose you’ve managed to deceive me a little too well. You even got me believing that you actually loved someone like me.” ‘Blood’ kept dripping to the floor. 
 
“No! I- Don’t say that! I-I don’t want to marry her.” Tsukasa backed down and his heartless persona broke. His voice was shaky and his eyes were watery. 
 
“Yet, I will die soon.” Rui’s voice was weak. 
 
“I’m sorry. I don’t love her. I don’t know how, but somewhere along the way of befriending you, the deceiving part faded away and I genuinely started liking your presence. And I meant every word I said. I love you, so so dearly. And I wish it would have ended differently, but the Queen ordered me to eliminate you and marry the princess. I cannot go against her, you know that.” The knight was lightly sobbing. They fell to the ground. Tsukasa adjusted him so that he would be on his lap.  
“The Queen’s orders are absolute, and she has never loved me…” He coughed.  
 
“Please, I didn’t want to do this.” The blonde boy sobbed. “I love you.” He kept playing with his hair. His body shook with his sobs, making Rui follow the movement. He kept looking at him with dead eyes. 
 
“Ah, it hurts,” Rui said while weakly clutching his chest. “I think this is the end. I really enjoyed our brief time together, even if it ended up like this. I don’t regret ever meeting you; you changed my life for the better. My last few weeks were the most thrilling I have ever had as you showed me how to love again. I love you, my lovely shoemaker and knight.” He breathed out his last words and closed his eyes. He laid weakly on Tsukasa’s lap as a single tear slid down his cheek.  
 
“NO! Please, NO!” the knight screamed and hugged him tightly to his chest. “I love you, I love you, I love you! Why did it have to be this way? Why?” He sobbed so hard Rui shook intensely with him. He could hear members of the audience silently sob too. Rui felt Tsukasa’s tears on his hair as the boy brushed and kissed his head. That wasn’t part of the script! It felt good, but this was bad! Tsukasa shouldn’t be doing this. Rui did admit that it went very well with the scene, the only better option being a kiss on the lips, but that would be far too dangerous for his heart. Well, he could not react to anything since he was ‘dead’.  
 
The curtain closed and Tsukasa quickly let him go to change into the wedding attire. Rui laid in place for a moment, shocked. He stood up and walked off the stage to say his last lines. 
 
“A few months later, the princess and the knight wed near a beautiful garden. The kingdom cheered the newlyweds enthusiastically and the Queen was pleased.” Tsukasa went back on stage and so did Nene. They held hands at the altar, Emu acting as the officiator.  
 
“Do you, Charles of Riviere-du-Loup take Marie, princess of Chateauguay as your lawful wedded wife?” she said. 
 
“I do,” Tsukasa replied with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. 
 
“Do you, Marie, princess of Chateauguay, take Charles of Riviere-du-loup as your lawful wedded husband?” 
 
 I do,” she replied enthusiastically. 
 
“You may now kiss the bride.” Emu closed the book. Nene and Tsukasa kissed briefly and turned to the crowd. Rui felt his heart clench at the sight but calmed himself down.  
 
“And they lived happily ever after, the knight eventually forgetting the lonely alchemist. The end.” The curtains closed on this tragic ending. And the crowd applauded and cried. 
 
The curtains reopened to the four of them on the stage. Tsukasa thanked the audience for watching the show and they all bowed. The crowd cheered and threw flowers on the stage. Rui could see audience members with tears still in their eyes. The curtains fell for good and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Emu jumped and hugged all of them tightly.  
 
“Won-won-wonderhoy everyone! That was a super-duper mega wonderhoy performance! Tsukasa and Rui, you were incredible up there. You two were so kira kira on stage. The last scene made me go boohoo. Of course, Nene was amazing during her angry scene. It made my heart go doki doki.” The excited girl jumped up and down in place. 
 
“Fufu, thank you, Emu.” Rui chuckled. “You were also very good in your role as the cold queen. Very convincing.” The group started walking towards their little backstage room. 
 
“Yeah, Emu. I almost couldn’t recognize you up there. You really are incredible,” Nene complimented. She turned to Rui and Tsukasa. “But, wow, you two. You blew away all of my expectations with such an emotional performance. It really made it a success, I would say.” 
 
“Ha ha ha! Of course, a star like me would put on such an incredible performance. You two helped make the show a grand success.” He looked at Rui briefly and turned to look at the floor, light pink on his cheeks. “And Rui, just, wow! I didn’t know you could act like that. It was so convincing that I thought you said that confession to me directly and meant every word of it.” Oops, he had really done that. “It blew me away, you know.” Tsukasa looked at him shyly. 
 
“Fufu~ Thank you my star. Your performance was also very convincing, as expected of you. And those hair kisses at the end, it was a nice addition, no?” He looked pointedly at the guilty boy who trensed up and blushed. Nene rolled her eyes and looked like she was about to hit her head repeatedly on the wall. Emu looked at them with stars in her eyes. 
 
“Ah! That! Well-” the boy got cut off.  
 
“Rui!” a deep voice called. Rui tensed as he recognized who had just talked to him. He couldn’t be here. Not him. He didn’t want to see him. Especially not when his troupe was here. But Rui was cornered and he had approached him without a warning. So he had to face him, even if he was not ready to. Even if he would never be ready to.  
 
Rui turned around and… 
 
Turquoise hair.  
 
Oh no. Oh no no no… 

Chapter Text

Rui had been fifteen years old when he met  him .

He had just started high school in an elite school. The entrance exams had been a cakewalk since Rui had never had any difficulty with any tests. His parents were very proud of him, as usual. Even if their son wouldn’t have passed his tests, they would still have been proud of him. That was just how they were, he supposed. Sometimes, it was embarrassing how the two of them would show that emotion to him.

Just that morning, the two adults had made him wake up early and prepare himself for school so that they could take pictures of him. It was his first day at the school and his parents wanted a memento of the occasion. They took way too many photos of him alone, with his mom, and with his dad. They tried many poses and Rui would never admit it, but it made him feel warm inside that his parents had shown him so much love. His mom kept gushing about how cute her baby boy was in his new black uniform and how put together her little man was with his tied-up red tie and long hair in a neat bun. His dad loudly proclaimed that he was so proud of how far his little boy had come and that he was so proud of him. They both shed a few tears before he left and kept kissing his cheeks. It embarrassed him so much that he blushed and had to push them away lest he be late. Rui said goodbye to them and opened the front door. He put his left foot out of the house and was on his way to a new chapter of his life. Hopefully, it would go better than the last, the boy wished. 

The walk to his high school was quite long. He had to take the train across town and walk 10 minutes from the station to the building. It took at least 45 minutes to get there, but Rui didn’t mind. He had chosen to go to that school deliberately. No one from his middle or worse, elementary school, attended this elite establishment. That was for the better, he wanted a fresh start. 

The new high school student arrived in front of the large concrete school gates and entered the schoolyard. The path was made of relatively new pavement and many other students were walking down, reuniting with their friends. How lucky,  Rui bitterly thought,  they seem to have a place where they belong, unlike me . He quickly redirected his attention to the scenery. While walking towards the entrance, the purple-haired boy took note of how the grass was neatly cut and the flower beds were lively. It seemed like the gardening club was active in this school. The teenager thought of joining it; it would be fun to tend to the flowers during his free time. Who knows, maybe he was going to find people who accepted him there. Unlikely, but Rui liked to delude himself. He once again refocused his attention on his surroundings before his thoughts went down a dark path. This was a new beginning, after all, he needed to leave all this negativity behind him. Ah, the trees in the yard were tall and pretty. The cherry trees had pretty much finished blooming, but there were still some petals falling down. It was quite romantic in a sense.

Rui finally looked at the building where he was going to spend the next three years studying. It was massive; four stories high and incredibly long. It was made of bricks, of course, but it somehow still looked prestigious. The bricks were white which made the whole building look shiny and fancy. Rui remembered that this school was funded by rich people and that tuition was mostly very expensive, except if the school really wanted you to get in. Which was the case for him. He had gotten full marks on the entrance test which had been said to be ‘difficult’ by everyone else. The genius student had thought it very easy, especially the science and math portion. Technically, they hadn’t covered any of the topics in the test at his middle school, but he had read about them when he was very young. 

The lonely genius entered the building by getting through a fancy automatic door. Well, he had to press a button, but it was fancy to him. He was blown away by how shiny and clean the inside was. It almost looked surreal. Rui’s old middle school had been very trashy and always dirty. People drew graffiti everywhere and didn’t clean up after themselves. It was chaotic. But this! This was something impressive to him. How could a place full of teenagers be this clean? Maybe it was because it was the first day, but Rui doubted it. 

He went to his locker to change his shoes and decided to just go to class. The bored boy sat down at his desk which was at the back of the class and took out a notebook with a new project to distract himself during the lesson. He wanted to create a fox robot that could do tricks. Rui also had taken an interest in foxes these days because they were so cute. He thought it was funny that they had such a bad reputation for being tricky. How could they be so tricky if they were so cute? 

He started tinkering with it, adjusting some settings and adding some final details when a boy with turquoise hair approached him. At first, Rui didn’t notice him. He had forced himself to focus on his project instead of his surroundings because he knew he might hear things he wouldn't appreciate. The people might start to whisper nasty things about him again, even if he’d done nothing wrong yet. The teenager was startled out of his focused state by this boy who put his hand on his desk a little hard. Rui flinched and looked at the boy in suspicion. 

“Hey, you looked pretty focused there. And a little bored haha. Whatcha doing?” The boy cocked his head in interest. Rui still looked at him in suspicion, unsure of why this boy was interested in what he was doing.

“…I’m… building a fox robot.” Rui hesitantly said. 

“Really!” The boy smiled at him and his eyes were bright. “That’s so cool. Could you show me?” 

“Um… Sorry, but could I have your name?”

“Oh, sorry. I should introduce myself first, huh? The name is Utsuro, Aoi Utsuro. It’s a pleasure to meet you. What’s yours?” The boy, Utsuro, smiled at him.

“Kamishiro, Rui Kamishiro.” The purple-haired teenager introduced himself, still holding back. 

“T-the guy who got full marks on the entrance test?!?” Utsuro’s eyes were blown wide. Rui smiled at him.

“Guilty.”

“W-wha!!! You’re incredible! And you build cool robots like this?” the pretty boy exclaimed. 

“Yeah…”

“Oh my God! You have to show me more! Starting with this one.” Rui started to explain his cute little fox invention. He said it could demand pets, belly rubs, kisses, and all sorts of affection. The fox robot was mostly built to bring smiles and comfort to those in need, especially Rui himself. It was pretty independent and could almost act like a loyal pet. It was a clingy little thing, and Rui liked it. 

“What’s its name?” Utsuro asked. The inventor hadn’t thought about it yet. He usually didn’t name his creations, but now that he thought about it, it was a good idea to do so. Utsuro was looking at him with anticipation. His clear blue sky eyes were looking straight at him. It was a breathtaking sight.

“Umm… how about Sora?” Rui said.

“Sora? But it’s a fox. What does the sky have to do with your robot?” The sky-eyed boy questioned, eyebrow raised.

“The sky is always there no matter what. A little bit like this fox. It will always be there and want affection, no matter what,” Rui said, not mentioning the real reason. 

“I guess it’s a good name then.” Utsuro softly looked at him.

And just like that, his fate was sealed. He should have known better, should have resisted a little more, and shown more distrust. Rui felt his emotions strongly. A little too strongly. When he fell…

He fell hard.

And this boy…

Fell hard for him too.

Utsuro asked him to show him the robot when it would be ready before going to his desk right before the bell rang. Well, they were sitting next to each other, so he didn’t have to go far. Rui quickly put away his robot before the teacher could see it, just in case they would confiscate it. He started writing in his notebook to distract himself from his thoughts again. The purple-haired student kept occasionally glancing at the boy who had been interested in his robots. It was a rare and suspicious thing for a stranger to do. No one found Rui’s robots ‘cool’. They were weird, suspicious, and dangerous. But this boy, Utsuro, found his fox interesting, even wanting him to show the finished product to him. 

This made Rui feel something. Something not unpleasant for once. It had been so long since someone appreciated his unconventional hobbies. The last time someone showed interest was when he was 8, that person being his childhood friend Nene whom he lost touch with. Mizuki was also a person who appreciated him, but not his hobbies. They weren’t interested in robotics and shows like him. They still got along well, but he knew they would eventually part ways. Well, maybe they were already in the process of doing so since he had changed schools. 

All that to say, it was the first time a boy had shown interest in his hobbies. And a pretty one at that. Not that that meant anything; he wouldn’t be opposed to an unattractive guy being interested in his hobbies just as long as he had someone who would listen to him. But well, it was a bonus. Not that Rui would be delusional enough to think the boy would fall for him… right? Who could possibly be attracted to Rui Kamishiro, the weirdo who would never fit in anywhere? No one, that was who. 

Well, someone out there must be since he had a soulmate. Even if he couldn’t see his own string.

But Rui was getting ahead of himself. This was just a very pretty boy who was interested in his fox robot, nothing more. He needed to proceed with caution. Maybe this was all a ruse, a prank. Or maybe it wasn’t and this boy really was interested in Rui’s robots. He’d have to talk to him more to see.

The bell rang to signify the end of the class. Rui had been a little distracted and almost didn’t hear it. He heard the boy next to him get up from his chair and leave.

Oh. So it really was a prank.

He totally wasn’t hurt. No, sir. This happened all the time, he didn’t know why he got his hopes up. Why would Utsuro, a pretty turquoise-haired and sky-eyed boy, want anything to do with pathetic loser Rui? He chastised his heart for even thinking he had a chance of befriending such a person. The lonely teenager forced himself to get up to go get a little bit of fresh air. He went to see the garden beds, full of different blooming flowers. He decided to walk up to the first one he saw. It was full of yellow carnations. They were bright like the sun and looked very healthy. The yellow-eyed genius crouched down to get a better look and saw the tiny critters walking around and surviving in this environment. There was a pretty Japanese Luehdorfia on one of the carnations. It looked quite fluffy and majestic with its colors reminiscent of a bumblebee. He could see the ants in the dirt walking around. Insects were such an interesting group of animals. There were so many of them with many different characteristics and niches. Rui had always understood why many famous zoologists always started out loving insects, specifically beetles. His uncle, who studied all sorts of animals, was the same; he had done a thesis on jewel beetles and their impact on their habitat. It had been an interesting read when he was younger. 

Sadly, Rui couldn’t stay to watch the flower beds and critters forever. Class was mandatory and he couldn’t skip it lest he wanted to be scolded harshly by the teachers. This was the trade-off he got for attending such a prestigious, and most importantly, faraway school. He needed to actually attend classes, but at least he got the chance to start anew, with no one knowing him.

He walked to class and the first thing he saw was a head of turquoise sitting at his own desk. Everyone was seated and waiting for class to start in a few seconds. Rui had almost arrived late, so he had the misfortune to make a walk of shame to his desk while everyone stared at him. The stares, always so intense. They always made his stomach churn. He made sure to look at the ground and show no emotions, especially not his nervousness. If anyone saw him nervous, they would use that weakness against him again. He would never be freed from their torment. That was how it always worked. 

The purple-haired student sat down and took out his notebook. He doodled nervously to distract himself from the stares. He heard a noise beside him and flinched slightly. Rui looked up from his notebook to see sky-blue eyes looking at him. The stare wasn’t malicious, wasn’t making fun of him or looking at him with disdain. It was kind and curious. This was… different. It had been a while since people hadn’t looked at him with scorn. Of course, the last person had been Mizuki and he appreciated them. But even so, they had looked at him with distrust at first, which was understandable given their situation. This boy once again made him feel something. Something pleasant, good, maybe even warm. It made Rui feel his face become inflamed and he had to quickly cut eye contact. 

During class, he couldn’t distract himself. He kept glancing subtly at this boy to try and understand why he hadn’t mocked him. Why had Utsuro instead looked kindly at him? No matter how hard he used his big brain, how long he thought about it, it made no sense. This boy frustrated Rui. Who was he? And why did Rui want to learn more about him?

The class ended once more and Rui almost couldn’t hear the bell. He was subtly looking at the turquoise-haired boy next to him when the other turned to look at him.

“You almost came in late to class. That was so bold and cool of you. I could never do that. And on the first day?” the boy started the conversation like it was nothing. Like he wasn’t talking to Rui, a freak weirdo who couldn’t fit in. Like Rui was normal and a friend.  A friend, wouldn’t that be great? He would love to have a friend. Right now, he had no one at school anymore. No Nene, no Mizuki, only himself. But this boy and him, they could be friends. The lonely student just had to not mess up and drive him away.

“Haha… I lost track of time, I suppose,” he tried to say casually. 

“Really? Where were you then to lose track of time? I went to the bathroom and poof! You were gone. I was expecting to talk to you more during the break haha!” Utsuro told him as if he hadn’t just told something so utterly bizarre. The boy… wanted to talk to him more. Him. Rui Kamishiro? The weirdo who was dangerous and crazy? Someone who built robots and created shows that made the actors almost suffer? This was insane! Who was this guy? 

“Ah, um… I was just outside looking at the flower beds.” Rui started to feel embarrassed to admit that. He had heard from others that flowers were ‘girly’. He had never understood why, why couldn’t he like flowers. They were pretty after all. What if this boy thought the same, that flowers were too ‘girly’? Would that ruin Rui’s chance at friendship?

“The flower beds? So, were the flowers pretty? Which one did you go see?” Utsuro asked, curious. No hint of judgment, nothing. This was… something. Rui’s heart began beating faster. 

“Um… I went to see the yellow carnations. T-there was a Japanese Luehdorfia on one of them.” Rui wished he could interact normally and without thinking too hard about what he said. He used to do that before, but that only brought him scorn and ridicule from others. Even with Mizuki, he had held back quite a lot in the beginning.

“You know, that’s quite the sight you saw. These butterflies are becoming more scarce because of deforestation after all. I wish I could have been there to see,” Utsuro genuinely said. 

“D-do you like butterflies, Utsuro?” Rui shyly asked. He hated how soft and scared he sounded. The genius boy used to be way more confident; he wondered when he let this sort of change happen. Hadn’t he promised himself that he would not care what others said? That he would be himself no matter what? Why did he allow himself to change for others?

Because you want, no, you need to fit in.

And that was scary. 

“Well, I actually like all insects. I just find the Insecta class to be fascinating,” Utsuro told him with a little shine in his sky-blue eyes. 

“What in particular fascinates you? Don’t get me wrong, I also find them interesting mostly because of how different they are from species to species. What about you?”

“Well, same as you too, I suppose. But what really got me into studying this class of animals was one article I read last year on the fireflies in Costa Rica. The author is a super well-known published environmental scientist called Kazuya Kamishiro.” To think this boy got into studying insects because of his uncle.

“Oh! That’s my uncle. His article was indeed interesting. Have you read his other works?” Rui got a little excited.

“What? Your uncle? Wait, Kazuya Kamishiro… Rui Kamishiro. Why didn’t I think you two were related haha. You have the same last name.” Utsuro laughed slightly. It was a cute laugh, soft and melodious. “And yeah, I’ve read almost all of his works. The way he writes his observations is so detailed and interesting. The man knows his stuff.” 

“I’ve also read all of his stuff, of course. What’s your favorite article?” 

“Well, it’s the fireflies one cause it’s the one that got me into insects, but the one on the impact of the invasive Burmese pythons in the United States was also super good.” 

“Oh, that’s a more recent one! It is quite good. I remember my uncle had gone to the state of Florida for a year and had a lot of fun with the pythons. He would just pick up the babies and sometimes the adult ones. He showed me and my family the pictures of him intertwined in one,” Rui retold the story from two years ago with a bright smile. 

“Oh my God! Do you have these pictures? Cause you gotta show me.” The boy leaned closer to Rui with excited eyes and a bright smile. 

“I’ll ask my uncle to send them to me and I’ll show you tomorrow.”

“I’ll take you up on that!” Utsuro then looked at the clock and tensed. “Oh shit! It’s getting late into the lunch break. We should totally grab our lunch and eat. Wanna join me?” Usturo had just casually asked Rui to eat with him. Rui. No one asked to eat with Rui. Ever. The last time was in elementary school in the second grade. It had been Nene. They ate together for a while, but then she found other friends and ate with them. With Mizuki, they simply ate on the rooftop, sometimes in silence, other times they talked about stuff. They had never asked to eat together, circumstances just made it so that they did. 

But this time, someone wanted Rui to eat with them. Asked Rui to eat with them. And it was a pretty boy who had similar interests as him. This was too good to be true. Did that mean that Rui could really make a friend at his high school? Would his teenage experience not be as bad as he thought? Would life finally allow him to be happy and fit in?

Yes, please! I would do anything to have that!

“Okay, where do you want to eat?” The purple-haired genius grinned a little too excitedly. He needed to calm down before he pushed this boy away with his weirdness. 

“Meet me at the doors and I’ll show you this cool place I found this morning.” Utsuro stood up and walked to his locker. Rui did the same and quickly grabbed his lunch, heart beating wildly. He practically ran towards the boy but forced himself to slow down. Sky-blue eyes looked at him and the boy gestured to follow him. They went outside and Utsuro showed him a spot where there were two flower beds full of flowers. One of them had oleanders and the other had begonias. They were beautiful and colorful. Next to the flower beds, there was a tall Cherry tree in full bloom. They were close to the school’s racing tracks but also in a blind spot where almost no one could see them. It was truly a wonderful find. Utsuro gestured at him to sit down on the ground and they started eating their lunch. They continue talking about their different common interests; bugs, flowers, robotics. He learned that Utsuro liked to sing in his free time and Rui asked to hear him one time. The boy was so interesting to him, even if he didn’t like shows, he asked many questions about what Rui liked and seemed to enjoy learning about his interests. 

Rui was very disappointed when the bell rang. 

But it was okay because, on the next break, he got to talk to Utsuro again. 

It was the first time in forever that he felt sad to go back home. He wanted to continue talking to Utsuro for the rest of the day and on. This boy was interested in the things he liked. And even if he technically wasn’t, he was still interested in what Rui had to say!

The next day, the now excited teenager arrived earlier just in case this boy was there so they could talk more. He had asked for the python pictures from his uncle and had almost finished building his fox robot during the night. He had really wanted to pull an all-nighter to finish it just to show Utsuro the final product, but he had reminded himself that it would be worth nothing if he was tired when he showed him. 

He sat down in class and took out his fox robot. It looked much cuter than the day before. Rui wanted to add fluff over its skeleton so that it would become huggable. He tinkered with the last little details he needed to adjust before adding the fluff and coding its behaviors when Utsuro walked into class. Rui saw him and his heart got excited. Still, he pretended that he wasn’t waiting for him to show up. 

“Good morning, Kamishiro! I see you’re already being productive at 7 in the morning.” The boy yawned and pulled his chair towards Rui’s desk. “How can you do that so early?”

“Fufu~ I suppose I’m just lucky to have energy this morning.” Rui chuckled. Utsuro looked at him incredulously.

“So, I see you’re a morning person then. Ugh, lucky bastard.” The boy put his forehead on the desk and groaned in frustration and exhaustion. 

“Well, I wouldn’t say I’m a morning person… just someone without much need for sleep.” That was a lie. His body felt exhausted all the time. Even if he slept ten hours, eight hours, or even two hours, he would still feel like he was one step away from collapsing. Alas, he had learned to hide his feelings very well, so everyone was none the wiser. He had also learned to cope with his exhaustion and still somehow be productive. 

“Seriously? Are you blessed with literally everything? Super smart, super talented at robotics, insane memory and you can function with low sleep? Honestly, I’m jealous.” Utsuro looked at him with his chin on the desk. He looked slightly miserable, but his eyes were shining. He said it as a joke, which rarely happened when people talked to Rui. Such things were usually said with malice. 

“Oh well, should have been born me then.” Rui joked and grinned. Wait! What was he doing? Didn’t that sound a little pretentious? Maybe that would make Utsuro think that Rui was full of himself and unlikable! Then, their blooming friendship would end before it even started, and-

“Pfff I guess so.” Utsuro just smiled at him. A heartfelt smile. Not a mean one, not a mocking one! This! This was something Rui had missed dearly. This was something Rui thought he would never see again after parting ways with Mizuki. He was glad to be proven wrong. “So, whatcha got here? That little fox robot, Sora? It looks more complete now.”

“Yeah, I worked on it yesterday night after coming back home. I made the exoskeleton more robust. All that’s left are the little details, adding fur and coding!” Rui excitedly showed him the robot and Utsuro looked at it impressed. “I should have it done by tomorrow if you wanna see.” Rui gave him a shy hopeful smile.

“Really? Tomorrow? I’d love to see it!” Utsuro exclaimed, smiling with all of his teeth. “But damn, Kamishiro, you work really fast! Are you sure you’re human?” the boy teased.

“Fufu~ yes. Hope that doesn’t disappoint you too much.” He wished he was a robot most days. It would be far simpler, no feelings, no stares (that he would care about because he would feel nothing), no mean people (or he wouldn’t care because he would be a robot). But sadly, he wasn’t. 

“Haha, then you really need to show me how you can work so hard and fast. Honestly, I’m lucky I decided to talk to someone as smart and talented as you.” Utsuro put his crossed arms on the desk and looked up at him. His face was mostly hidden, but Rui could see the corner of the boy’s mouth quirked up.

“My, my! Utsuro! Are you using me for my smarts? Really, is that all I am to you?” Rui chuckled at the boy’s wide eyes.

“You- that’s not what I’m saying. Geez!” Utsuro retorted.

“Fufu~ I know! I’m just kidding.” Even if it were true that Utsuro was using him for his smarts, he wouldn’t care. At least this boy showed interest in talking to Rui and that was enough. Utsuro glared at him with no flame in it. “Oh, that reminds me, I got the python photos from my uncle.”

“Really???” The boy’s eyes turned into an ocean hit by the sun's rays. “Show me, show me, show me!” The boy leaped from his chair to lean onto the desk. He was way closer to Rui than he was before. His excitement shocked the purple-haired genius for a moment, but he reminded himself that he needed to get his phone out. So he did and showed Utsuro the photos. He scrolled through them slowly as Utsuro’s stare was glued to the screen. The turquoise-haired boy looked like a kid who had woken up to see the gifts under the Christmas tree. 

The last photo the purple-haired student showed was one where his uncle was wrapped in a 20-foot python. That snake was huge and his uncle had been cool (or stupid) enough to let it wrap its large body around him. Could he have died? Yes. Did it make for an awesome photo? Also yes. 

“Wow! That’s the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen! Maybe I should become a researcher to go on awesome trips like these,” Utsuro commented.

“It does seem like quite an enjoyable career, I think. My uncle really likes it.” 

Utsuro stayed silent for a little bit, intently staring at the photo.

“You know, if you showed me this guy, I think I could tell he’s related to you,” Utsuro just stated cryptically. 

“W-what’s that mean?” Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Probably good, right, since Utsuro liked his uncle’s research. But still, he couldn’t help but overthink such a weird statement. 

“Haha, well you two have the same yellow eyes. Same shape and color! And well, the blue hair is the same shade as those little streaks you have, which by the way, I thought these streaks were dyed before seeing this photo. Honestly, I was really starting to get jealous cause dyed hair is against school rules and you would have just broken them. Without repercussions too!” Utsuro was a very expressive boy, Rui figured. He always waved his arms around and his eyes were full of shine. His face and body language always conveyed what he felt. It was incredible how free he was. Rui wished he could express himself that way, but he wasn’t able to. Not only would the stares worsen, but he simply couldn’t express himself like the others. But this boy could. And that was incredible. Utsuro said he was jealous of Rui, but it was Rui who was jealous of Utsuro. This boy was beautiful, could express himself without being stared at cruelly, and was not a weirdo. How wonderful!

The bell soon rang and Utsuro had to go back to his seat. Rui was disappointed once more but had a feeling he would get to talk more to Utsuro after class. And maybe again tomorrow. And the day after. And so on…

And he was right. During lunch break, they ate together under the cherry tree and talked some more. And the next day, they also did the same thing! Rui finished his fox robot and showed it to him. The boy once again was impressed, and even asked if he could pet it. Rui let him and Utsuro thanked him profusely. To think someone other than his parents finally appreciated his creations. It had been so long.

It became routine. Even if it had been only a week, it felt like routine to Rui. But for once, it was one he appreciated and didn’t feel bored to do. He came to school, talked to Utsuro about anything, wrote in his notebook during class and occasionally subtly glanced at his turquoise-haired neighbor, went to eat under the cherry tree with said boy, class again, break with Utsuro again, class for the last time of the day, said goodbye to Utsuro after chatting with him and finally going home happily, wishing for the next day to come faster. 

The two of them talked so much and they never got bored of it. Topics ranged from nature, bugs, shows, singing, video games (Utsuro liked those), other animals, space (another hobby Utsuro had), shows, robotics… the list went on! They even shared random stupid childhood stories! Utsuro told him about how one time he made a bet with his childhood friend on who could climb the highest in a tall tree. Utsuro won, but fell on his arm and broke it. Rui one-upped him by telling him about his favorite childhood memory with Nene when they put on their Little Mermaid show at school. Utsuro had laughed his ass off and called him a wild kid, making Rui the victor of their stupid childhood stories. 

Slowly but surely, Rui started to notice changes within himself. He hadn’t expected this at all. He woke up in the mornings with so much energy and joy these days. Sleep was actually energizing for once! His body was regaining strength at a rapid pace. He didn’t feel like he would collapse the second he stood up anymore or fall asleep on his desk during lessons. He had forgotten that food tasted bland before. But now, he actually felt like eating (anything that wasn’t a vegetable or had vegetables in it). He even bought himself a pack of soda candy after months and reminded himself of the sweetness that he loved so much. He now wanted to get out of bed. He didn’t force himself to sleep to pass the time anymore, he actually used his time wisely to create twice as many projects as before. 

Rui was actually happy for once.

He had forgotten the last time he had felt this happy. It had been in elementary school with Nene when they went to search for her soulmate. He had been truly happy then, to have someone believe in his little quirk.

Oh.

The purple-haired teenager hadn’t thought about his quirk in so long. He was now so good at ignoring the small strings that he had almost forgotten about it. Well, his parents’ long string always reminded him that he could see those, but he was so used to seeing it that it was like it wasn’t there. 

Would he one day get close enough to Utsuro to tell him about his quirk? He hadn’t even told Mizuki, would he ever trust someone as much as he had trusted Nene that day? No, that was too weird. He had been a child then. He was a few years away from being an adult. No one would believe him anymore. Why would they anyway? He could see a mythical string that no one else that he knew of could. It still sounded bizarre to him and he had been able to see them for ten years. 

So no, even if Rui wanted to trust Utsuro, he wouldn’t tell him about his quirk. That was too much. He didn’t need a repeat of elementary school. 

And he was fine with that. Because Utsuro was now his friend and friends didn’t need to share every tiny secret they had. 

But was Rui satisfied with that?

With what?

With… just being friends?

Oh. So this is where this is going.

Over the course of the three weeks Rui had spent with Utsuro, no, Aoi, he started to notice things about the boy. Things he shouldn’t be thinking about for too long. Like how his smile was so wonderful and bright. How white and straight his teeth were. How well sculpted his jaw was. How his hair was majestic in the sunlight and how turquoise was a really pretty color. How his eyes looked like tiny oceans in the shade, something Rui could see himself exploring for his whole life. How smooth and soft his skin looked. How big his hand was and how his own would fit pretty well in it. And well… other things.

He also felt his heart skip a beat or two when the boy laughed at his jokes, and his cheeks felt warm when they made eye contact, or when Aoi would compliment him, he would feel nervous but very happy to be around the boy… Okay. So Rui was very gay for his handsome friend. Who could blame him? The boy was nice to him… and also very attractive. It wasn’t Rui’s fault! Blame Aoi! Or maybe the universe for making him so perfect! 

But just because Rui liked him didn’t mean the other boy liked him back…

But just to be sure he wasn’t wasting his time or making his heart hope for no reason, he did something he had sworn to never do again.

But first, he had to gather his courage to do that. After all, he hadn’t actively looked at the strings in eight years and they were a painful reminder of how his life turned into shambles very quickly. And it took him an entire week to do so.

Rui was preparing himself to go out with Aoi. It was a weekend and they had decided to hang out for once at a park. Rui was so excited; it was the first time he hung out with a boy outside of school hours. He had overthought everything; his outfit, hair, makeup, what to bring… He was a mess. Eventually, he put himself together and got out of the door. It turned out that Utsuro lived a few train stations away from his house. Although that meant they were very unlikely to see each other in the streets randomly, they were still living close enough to each other that the travel time wasn’t so bad. 

The hopeless romantic brought with him a bag in which he put inside his new robotics project. He had built a purple main coon robot cat with a lot of fur and pretty yellow eyes. It had a similar code as Sora's since its goal was also to cuddle those in need. It was called Sagan and he had tested it the day before. Just like Sora, Sagan was very affectionate, asking for cuddles and rubbing its fur on his leg. The two robots constantly demanded attention, like real pets. He had introduced Sagan to Sora and the two of them instantly became friends. They took a nap together and played around, chasing each other and overall having fun. If Sora demanded attention, so did Sagan, and vice versa. They were attached to the hip. It was so cute. 

That morning, when he had put Sagan into his bag to bring it to his outing and show Aoi, both robots had cried out in protest. They had made a scene, like actual toddlers! Rui hadn’t known his robots could do such things. They had cried for ten minutes at being separated before Rui relented and brought Sora too. The two robots cuddle each other in his bag. 

He was waiting for Aoi at the park, nervously sitting on a bench and fiddling with the strap of his bag. It had taken him 15 minutes by train to arrive at the park which was closer to Aoi’s house than his. He looked around and his attention was caught by the red snapdragons in the flower beds. They were so vibrant and strong, looking like they had been well taken care of. Sora and Sagan peeked out of his bag to also look at the flowers and voiced their excitement at seeing the outside world. 

“Yo, Rui!” A lovely melodious deep voice called out. Rui snapped out of his thoughts filled with flowers and his sight was filled with blue. Rui stood up and walked up to his friend.

“Aoi! I need to show you something!” Rui beamed him an excited smile. Suddenly, Sora leaped out of his bag to demand attention from Aoi. 

“Oh, hello there Sora.” Aoi crouched down to pet the fox robot who made a happy noise. Rui glanced at his bag, still full of Sagan. The cat robot’s ears and eyes were peaking out, looking slightly wary and shy at the newcomer. It didn’t take long for Sagan to get over his initial nervousness as he saw that Sora was openly cuddly to Aoi. Sagan jumped out of Rui’s bag, making the purple bot stumble lightly, and approached Aoi. “I-is that another robot?”

“Yeah! Aoi, meet Sagan, my new cat robot! It has the same functions as Sora, but I somehow gave it its own personality. It is a little more reserved at first, but very mischievous and chaotic.” Indeed, Sagan liked to jump on Rui’s desk and mess with his papers, making his pen fall and overall create chaos. Like a real cat. Even if it liked annoying Rui, the purple-haired boy loved it and always pet it when it demanded attention. His parents also really loved his robots, calling them their grandchildren as a joke.

Aoi put his hand in front of him and let Sagan approach him. The robot cat ‘sniffed’ it and slammed its head on the boy’s hand, demanding aggressive attention. Aoi was happy to indulge in it. “It’s so cute! Rui, you didn’t tell me you were working on another robot.”

“Hehe, it was a surprise.” Rui chuckled.

Aoi continued to pet the purring robot cat. “Haha, it kills me that you created a cat robot that looks like you. That’s so you.” The boy laughed.

“Hey! What’s that mean?” Rui said faking being insulted. 

Aoi rolled his eyes and smiled. “Well, I mean, a purple cat with yellow eyes. How is that not just the cat version of you? Honestly, only you would create a cat robot version of yourself in what I can only assume to be max a week. You’re so weird sometimes, I love it.” Aoi said affectionately. Rui used to hate being called a weirdo, but if it was Aoi, and with such a soft tone when he said it, he would let it slide. Sora started playfully fighting Sagan for Aoi’s attention, so the boy used both hands to pet them. 

“Well, what can I say? It’s what makes me fun to hang out with. And the reason you keep talking to me. Who’s the real weirdo in that case?” Rui laughed and so did Aoi. 

“I guess so.” The boy gave him a look that made Rui shiver. He didn’t know what it was, but something in his gaze made Rui’s heart beat faster. He didn’t have the time to examine both his reaction and Aoi’s look because Sora chirped for attention. Sagan meowed at them to ask to play.

“Oh, the robots want to play with us. Are you up for it? Beware, these little rascals run fast fufu~” Rui slightly bent down and put his hand on his knees. 

“You sure you should tell that to me, Mister can’t throw a ball and hit its target?” Aoi teased. 

“Hey, I can run pretty well. My stamina is great, you know?” Rui put his hand to his heart in mock hurt.

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Aoi laughed and stood up, stretching. The two robots sounded their approval and started running. Aoi looked at him mischievously and sprinted after the robots. He was fast, super fast. Faster than Rui could follow, but nonetheless, the few centimeters shorter boy went after him. It didn’t take long for Aoi to start slowing down. He was like a jaguar, fast at first, but only for a few seconds before tiring down. Rui was fast, slightly less than Aoi but fast nonetheless. The thing was, Rui’s stamina was impressive. He could run for long distances and that used to make all the boys in elementary school jealous. He used to win all of these races without even breaking a sweat. Except for the very short-distance ones since Rui could be beaten in a sprint. 

“Caught you!” the fast genius exclaimed as he lifted up Sora and nuzzled his face in its fur. The fox chirped happily. He settled it down and looked at Aoi who was out of breath. “See? I have pretty great stamina. Unlike you, it seems.” Rui laughed.

“T-that was just a practice round! I’ll catch the robots first next time.” Aoi breathed hard and put his hand on his knees. The boy forced himself to regain his composure and looked determined.

“Fufu~ do your best then. But I have a feeling I’ll win again.” Rui chuckled and Aoi glared at him. 

“Watch me!” And so, the robots started running again and the two boys tried to catch them. They did three more rounds of this before Aoi almost collapsed from exhaustion. Rui had to grab him and force him to sit down.

“Now, now, no need to exhaust yourself to try and prove your point. It’s useless! Clearly, I have superior stamina.” Rui patted his wheezing friend’s back. 

“Come on! I almost caught one of them! Gah, there has to be something that I’m better at than you!” Aoi was getting frustrated. Rui didn’t understand; there were plenty of things the boy was better than him at. Socializing, for one. Being liked by others, for two. And well, being pretty, charismatic, charming, lovely, wonderful… Overall, Aoi was perfect in Rui’s very humble opinion. “You’re just so smart and good at school! I got in because of money, clearly not because I’m smart! But you, you got first on the entrance test and didn’t really have to pay to get in. You can just do anything and do it flawlessly.”

“Come on, I’m not that great! Besides, I can’t throw a ball as you’ve said. And you would for sure beat me in a short sprint.” Rui tried to reassure and fight the blush off of his face. 

“You’re really something else Rui. Like… you’re incredible.” Aoi looked at him and smiled. All hints of his previous frustration at losing against Rui in a stamina race were gone. His words made Rui blush and there was no pushing it back or even thinking of hiding it. 

They stayed in silence for a little while, watching the two robots play together in the grass. Rui could hear Aoi’s breathing becoming slower and more regular.

“Hey, you ever had a girlfriend before?” Aoi asked, breaking their comfortable silence. Rui immediately turned to him with wide eyes and confusion.

“W-why do you ask?” Rui didn’t want to answer. He knew that it was probably embarrassing that at his age he hadn’t had a relationship, at least that’s what many seemed to think. He personally didn’t care, he knew he would eventually find his soulmate. It could be tomorrow or it could be in ten years, he would eventually find them. There was no need to get into futile romantic relationships with someone who would leave him eventually. That was ground for heartbreak and he heard from others that it really hurt. Rui had had enough hurt to last a lifetime, he refused to get more. Especially since these sorts of pains were preventable. 

The thing was, maybe Aoi would judge him for that. And well, even if that was unlikely since Aoi seemed to never actually judge Rui (too harshly) if he did think of Rui as less for not having had a romantic relationship before, the poor purple-haired boy would be devastated. He cared about Aoi’s opinion of him. He usually never cared for others’ opinions of him that much and forced himself to try to brush the stares and comments off (it rarely worked; at some point, he had internalized these comments and started fearing the comments and stares of strangers). If Aoi judged him, it would be as if 100 strangers judged him. Rui would be terribly sad if that happened.

That was not the only reason why he feared answering Aoi’s question. How could he explain to the boy that he had specifically never had a girlfriend because he was gay? He had known the boy for only three weeks and he didn’t know yet his opinions on same-sex relationships. What if he thought Rui was lesser for liking men? Or worse, disgusting and weird like all the others thought of him, especially when they learned that little trivia about him.

“Just curious. I also wanted to test a little theory of mine. Just answer the question, it’s innocent enough.” Aoi had a look he couldn’t decipher. Rui wasn’t sure how to feel about it; dread, confusion, nothing? He mostly felt like they were playing a game and Aoi knew a rule he didn’t. What was that theory he was talking about? And why so curious suddenly? Was this a normal question between friends? Mizuki had never asked him that since they knew he was gay. Never even asked if he had had a boyfriend before since they knew of his reputation. And Nene… well they had lost touch before they could ask such questions. 

In the end, Rui’s heart took over his racing thoughts. He trusted Aoi. Yes. He trusted him. They were friends and even if friends didn’t need to share every secret with each other, he could share this little part of his identity with him. The lonely teenager had always yearned to have someone he could trust like that again, just like with Mizuki. And since meeting Aoi, he had wanted to trust the boy and share almost everything with him. He also wanted Aoi to do the same with him; to learn more about this beautiful sky-eyed boy, his past, his present, and his future. But for Aoi to trust him, Rui needed to show that he trusted him first. So, he decided to tell the truth for once.

“… um… no.” Rui turned to the side and avoided eye contact with the boy. 

“So, boyfriend then?” His brain literally screeched at the question and panicked. Rui flung his head to face the other boy, unable to hide how wide his eyes were and how tense he was. 

“N-no! O-of course not. Um, why do you ask?” Rui’s heart was beating so fast it was slightly dizzying. Did Aoi suspect it? Would he be disgusted? Or would he be okay with it like Mizuki had? Would he then assume (correctly) that Rui had a crush on him? What would his reaction be to that? And how would Rui himself react? Because now, he was still unsure if he should allow himself to feel any sort of attraction to his friend. Not only was there a possibility that they were not soulmates, which was something he needed to confirm very soon, but their friendship was still very new. Perhaps Aoi didn’t like him back and Rui’s crush would ruin their perfectly good friendship. And then, he would be alone again.

Aoi put his left hand on the bench and turned to face him. His hand was so close to Rui’s leg, it was almost touching. “Really?” The boy asked with a tone that Rui didn’t like. 

“R-really.” Rui was getting quite nervous as Aoi leaned his body closer to him. The purple-haired teenager scooted back until he hit the handrest, but Aoi followed him. Their legs were now touching even if Rui was trying his best to scrunch up and lean back even more.

“So, never been in a relationship before then?” Rui tried to look away, but his eyes were glued to Aoi’s face. His little smirk was so fascinating yet scary. What did it mean? Suddenly, Aoi’s hand was on the handrest where Rui was backed up against, essentially trapping him there. Rui didn’t know how to feel; uncomfortable, shocked, delighted? All he knew was that he was definitely flustered and blushing like an idiot.

“N-never,” Rui stuttered. Aoi hummed.

“Then how about kissing? You ever kissed anyone?” 

“W-why are you asking me these questions?” Rui exclaimed a little louder than he meant to. Te shy genius was now definitely uncomfortable. 

“C’mon just answer the question.” Aoi had never been this direct and somewhat insistent in his questions; always simply interested and didn’t push when Rui wouldn’t answer. It almost felt like an interrogation and Rui didn’t know what he had done to warrant it. “I’ll just assume that’s a no then,” Aoi provoked.

“Well, you’d assume wrong.” Rui took the bait.

“Hm, boy or girl?” Aoi asked. And boy was that question complicated because Mizuki identified (and struggled) as a boy at the time, but they were neither gender. Rui didn’t know what gender they identified as, just that they used they/them pronouns and that they were his friend. Aoi seemed to see the gears turning in Rui’s head because he added another option Rui had never heard about. “Nonbinary?” 

“Nonbinary?” Rui echoed, confused.

“Yeah, someone who doesn’t identify with these genders. They could be neither, both, or identify as something else. Just not a girl nor a boy,” Aoi explained.

“Wait, that’s the term for someone who doesn’t identify as these two genders?” Rui’s eyes were now opened. He needed to tell Mizuki about his discovery soon since it may help them discover themselves and help with their struggles, at least a little bit. 

“Yup. So you kissed someone nonbinary then?” Aoi asked. He seemed to finally back off from Rui’s personal bubble as he brought his hands to his knees.

“Guess so.” Rui just shrugged. There was a small silence, the robots were still rolling around and play-fighting in the grass as if there was not a single care in the world. Rui decided it had been unfair of Aoi to question him so harshly, so he returned the same energy.

“What about you, huh? Ever had a girlfriend or boyfriend? Or… what’s the term for someone who’s nonbinary?” Rui started off aggressively questioning but ended up confusing himself. This was what happened when he was out of his element and talked about topics he was uneducated about. 

“I guess we can just say partner in that case.” Aoi just shrugged.

“Yeah, or partner! Answer the question now!” Rui frowned but still had a smile on his face. He was trying to play the role of a bad cop and failing miserably since he found this whole thing a little too amusing.

Aoi laughed at him. “Well, well, aren’t we interested?” the boy teased.

“Hey! I’m just returning the questions you asked me. If you didn’t want that, then you shouldn’t have interrogated me like you were some FBI agent fufu~” Rui decided to try Aoi’s intimidation tactic. He quickly went up and positioned himself so that he would be in front of Aoi. He then slammed both of his hands on the bench on each side of Aoi’s legs very aggressively. It made a loud sound which Rui hadn’t anticipated but brushed off. He then leaned in a little closer and gave him his most mischievous smirk. The result was that it made Aoi flustered which was what he had intended. Rui mentally patted himself on the back at having achieved his goal. This was payback. 

“W-well…” The boy cleared his throat. “I-I’ve um had a girlfriend before but it didn’t last long. She wasn’t really interested. H-her loss, besides, I wasn’t that interested either.” A girlfriend… that was bad news for Rui. At the same time, Aoi had been flustered at his intimidation tactic, so that must have meant something, right? Just because he had had a girlfriend didn’t mean he couldn’t be attracted to boys too. Rui knew of people who were bisexual. His uncle Hikaru was one of those who identified as such. Attracted to both men and women, it was possible. So hopefully, that was what Aoi was? The turquoise-haired boy wasn’t the only one who wanted to test a little theory of his own.

“So, a girlfriend. But would you ever consider having a boyfriend?” Rui looked at him intensely, a smirk still in place. 

“W-what? Um, what about you?” Aoi was stuttering, good. The sharp-eyed teenager hoped this interrogation would make him feel the exact same way Rui had felt when he did it. 

He could insist on Aoi answering first, but he was way more merciful than the boy. Besides, how did Rui expect Aoi to trust him if he didn’t show the turquoise-haired boy that he trusted him first?

“Yes, but answer the question,” he said very casually. It took Aoi off guard as the boy’s eyebrows hit his hairline. He stayed silent until he decided to relent.

“...yes.” Rui’s heart lept at least three times. He forced himself to calm down and reminded himself of three important things. One, Aoi liking men didn’t mean he liked Rui. Two, it didn’t mean they should get together if Aoi liked Rui because, three, it certainly didn’t mean that they were soulmates. 

But the hopeless teenager could just take a teeny tiny peek at Aoi’s pinky just to check. It wouldn’t… well it might hurt, but it wouldn’t be a tragedy. On the contrary, if he saw that they weren’t soulmates, then Rui could simply forget about his crush and stay friends with the boy. But if they were… well, Rui wouldn’t be opposed.

With enough courage on his side, Rui let his eyes trail down to Aoi’s right pinky to see

Red

…

Pointing in his direction!!!

Could that mean? 

YES!!!

They had to be soulmates!!!

This was it! Rui had found his soulmate after 16 years. After 10 years of constant misery, because he could see these goddamn strings, Rui could finally thank his quirk, no gift, for bringing him to his soulmate. He felt like he had ascended, like all problems in this world had been resolved. 

Maybe fate doesn’t hate me after all.

Wait just a second! 

What?

Well, just because he’s your soulmate doesn’t mean he knows that he likes you yet. You should be cautious and look for the signs first. It would be stupid to mess this up for no reason after all.  His brain gently reminded him.

Oh yeah! 

He laughed internally at his overexcitment. He forced himself to sit back down next to Aoi which made the other breathe in relief. Well, it wouldn’t be a stretch for Rui to assume that the boy liked him romantically just as Rui did. But it wouldn’t hurt to make sure it was really the case. A few days more of confirmation wouldn’t hurt him. Besides, simply knowing that he had a soulmate was enough to make him happy for the next week. He could be patient. 

“That’s what I thought,” Rui lied which earned him a glare. 

“H-hey! What’s that mean? And I don’t wanna hear that from the person who looks like a fruit salad,” Aoi retorted.

Rui laughed. “No need to call me out that much, geez! And don’t think you’re much better, bi boy~” Once again, he lied. It was not like Rui could tell that Aoi was bi. He had simply hoped. And well, he was right. Just because he hadn’t known didn’t mean he couldn’t tease Aoi. He had recently found out that he adored teasing the slightly taller boy. Their friendly banters were something he enjoyed even if it had given him a heart attack at first. He was slowly less scared of play fighting with him and his teasing was getting less held back. 

“Shut up! It’s so not true!” Aoi playfully shoved him to the side which made Rui explode with laughter. He returned the same energy to him. The other tried for another shove but Rui quickly dodged and got up. He beamed him a smile.

“You missed!” He said with the most infuriatingly annoying smirk he could muster. 

“Why you-” Aoi’s phone rang. He stopped in his tracks. “One sec.” He picked up the phone and started talking. “Hello… yup… okay… bye.” He tapped his phone and looked at Rui. “Damn, that was my mom. She wants me back home.”

“Ah, well guess I’ll go back home too then.” Rui looked at his two robots and called out. “Sagan, Sora, we’re going back.” The two animal robots stopped playing and ran to him. Sora’s tail was wagging wildly and Sagan was purring very loudly. Aoi crouched down and petted the both of them as a goodbye.

“See you two later and Rui,” He stood up, “I’ll see you at school.” The undecipherable look on Aoi’s face was back. 

“See you~” Rui waved and watched Aoi walk away. He crouched down and picked up his happy bots. He walked to the train station feeling quite warm, something he hadn’t felt in a little while. 

The next day, something in the air had changed drastically. He didn’t know what, but he knew their dynamic had changed overnight. No matter if Rui tried to act as usual, there was just something different. And he figured out what during their lunch break. 

They were sitting as usual under the cherry tree. The pretty flowers were swishing with the wind. On one of the flower beds, he saw camellias blooming. They were beautiful. Aoi and Rui were sitting down on a little blanket they brought so they could have a makeshift picnic. They were joking around while eating. Today, Rui was eating a beef and rice bowl and he was happy. He could taste how good his mom’s cooking was (and he was delighted that there were no nasty veggies). He took a bite of his meal and Aoi looked at him.

“Um, you’re a little clumsy haha. You have something on your face.”

“R-really?” Well, that was embarrassing. Rui was not usually a clumsy eater. Perhaps it was the weird air around them that had distracted him. He looked for his handkerchief but Aoi stopped him. The boy grabbed his chin and tilted him up. 

“Here, lemme help you out.” His eyes were locked onto him, looking from above. The boy didn’t use paper, didn’t use a handkerchief, and didn’t even use his finger. He approached his face close to Rui and kissed the corner of his mouth, essentially liking away the mess Rui had made. 

“Eh?” It felt unreal. Aoi had just leaned in and… well almost kissed him on the lips. Rui’s face was inflamed and he was rebooting. Aoi had pulled back and was looking at him cheekily. The boy passed his hand through Rui’s long hair. 

“I hope you don’t mind. I’ve been quite bold but I think you could have seen this coming. I like you. And I think we should date. I’m not satisfied with being your friend. Don't you feel the same?” Aoi said with a hint of nervousness that was hidden by his fake confidence. Rui was feeling a little dazed since his heart was crying out in joy. 

Wait! J-just to make sure. Let’s check one more time.

One more time?

Yes, one more time.

And so, his eyes trailed down to Aoi’s pinky and, low and behold, he saw

Red

Pointing in his direction. 

And so, from this day on, Rui started doing something he would later regret. But well, at least he had been temporarily happy.

You were happy, now look at us! You were naive and ignored everything. You’re so desperate for someone to love you that you would let your heart break. Why did you even believe for a second that someone could like you? You are naive, pathetic, and stupid.

Oh well. 

He never learned.

But back then, Rui had been overjoyed to know that he had a soulmate. And so, he gave the both of them a chance. 

“I-I… Aoi…” he was a little out of it, but he eventually got the words out after a deep breath. “I feel the same. I-I also like you and believe we should… give dating a chance.” 

“Geez, no need to say it so formally like that.” Aoi chuckled. Rui could see his eyes soften and his body relax. The boy scooched a little closer to him so that their legs were touching. “Can I ask you for something?”

“Sure.” 

“Can I touch your hair again? It’s long and I liked how it felt.” Aoi said, hands on his knees.

“Ah! But my hair isn’t really well taken care of. There’s probably a few knots in there. It's really not soft or anything.” Rui's hair had been long since middle school. He had let it grow because he couldn’t be bothered to cut it. It used to be a bird’s nest because he didn’t care for it at all. Back when he could barely get out of bed, it had been full of knots and was not washed nearly as much as it should. Now, he washed his hair regularly and brushed it most days, but he didn’t use any specific products to make it shiny and smooth and it knotted easily. He didn’t want to disappoint Aoi.

“Well, it’s fine. I wanna touch it. I guess you can take better care of it for next time.” Aoi reached for his hair with his right arm and started caressing his hair. Rui flinched at first, but he didn’t mind it after getting used to it. 

“You didn’t even wait for me to answer, geez. So, in exchange, I want something from you.” If Aoi could be bold, so could he. And Rui was also a little selfish and greedy sometimes. He liked to push boundaries and test the limits of everything, including how long people would be okay with him doing certain things. 

“… as long as it’s within reason.” Aoi’s hand stilled in his hair but soon resumed. He was almost giving Rui a head massage and he enjoyed it.

“Of course it’s reasonable! Have I ever asked you to do something unreasonable?”

“Yes. Many times.”

“What! Aoi~ you’re so mean to me! I always ask very reasonable things,” he whined. Aoi gave him a deadpan look. 

“Just last week you asked me to climb this tree and jump from it with some random suit you created. Seems pretty unreasonable and a little dangerous to me.” It was true that Rui had asked him to test his little invention for him. He now had a friend who was interested in his robotics hobby, how could he not ask for his help? Besides, Aoi had asked him if he could help Rui with his inventions. Who was he to say no to such an offer?

“But you still did it because it was not dangerous. The suit was antigravity anyways, it was fine.”

“Ahh, whatever! Just tell me what you want, but I reserve the right to say no.” 

“Now you just make me not want to ask anymore!” Rui pouted.

“You’re so dramatic geez.” Aoi ruffled his hair. “Just say it!” Rui continued to pout until it made Aoi look slightly annoyed. Rui couldn’t contain himself anymore and smiled at him.

“Fufu~ alright. I just wanted to kiss you is all.” It made Aoi blush.

“T-that’s actually really sweet and wholesome of you.” The boy put his hand away from his hair.

“Aoi~ you’re so mean~ is that what you really think of me? That I’m someone who only asks you to do dangerous things?” Rui whined. Although he was joking, to think Aoi would think of him that way stung a little bit.

“I get it, I get it! I’m sorry I implied that!” Aoi exclaimed. “I just… I still can’t believe you would want to do something like that with me.” He looked down, insecure. “Like, I knew you liked me… but it’s just still hard to wrap my head around it.” 

“You knew?” Rui asked.

“I-I mean, yeah. After what you said yesterday, I kinda had a feeling you felt the same, but I wasn’t sure. I talked to it with my mom and she told me I should go for it. So… um… even if you said we should date, I thought maybe you said yes to indulge me or something.” Aoi looked down, embarrassed to admit his insecurity. “Haha, I realize this makes no sense. I just almost kissed you. Ugh, it’s just…” he cut himself off and blushed. Rui let his instincts take over and pulled Aoi to his chest in a tight hug. He let himself close his eyes and feel the warmth emitting from the one he liked.

“I would never be so cruel! If I didn’t want to be with you or even like you, I wouldn’t accept to date you. I wouldn’t just ‘indulge’ you like that. That’s horrible.” He told him very confidently. “I really do like you and want to date you.” He felt Aoi tense and shift. The boy hesitantly wrapped his arms around him.

“W-well then. Um… in that case, a-are you free um tomorrow after school?” Aoi stuttered, very different from his usual confidence and teasing. It made Rui melt. This boy was so cute, both when shy and confident. And now he was asking Rui out on a date. That was incredible! He almost had started to believe it would most likely not happen, but it did! Rui was internally reeling with joy. His heart was beating so fast, it might as well explode.

“Of course I am! You know I barely do anything important after school. I don’t even need to do my homework 'cause it will be done before.” Rui chuckled. The boy retracted himself from his chest and looked at Rui with wide eyes.

“R-really?” The turquoise-haired boy exclaimed, face entirely red.

“I just said, silly.” Rui laughed lightly at the cute boy. 

“J-just making sure! In case you changed your mind.” Aoi looked to the side.

“In a few seconds? Haha of course not!” Rui smiled at him. “I would be honored to go on a date with you, Aoi~” Aoi perked up.

“Okay! Meet me here tomorrow after school… well as usual I guess” 

“What exactly are we going to do?” Rui asked, intrigued.

“It’s a surprise!” The boy looked at him mischievously, it gave him good shivers. He was now even more excited for this date. “Hehe, it’s gonna be so fun!”

“Fufu~ I cannot wait then. But you know~ I still didn’t get a kiss for letting you touch my hair~” he teased and made Aoi blush again. He was surprisingly innocent even if he technically had more experience than him.

“A-ah… um… I mean…” the boy stuttered, unable to look at Rui. It made the purple-haired tease think he had pushed too far.

“Ah! But you don’t have to if you don’t want to! I was just teasing, you know?” He took back his words. But Aoi forced himself to stop stuttering and looked at him with a determined gaze.

“That’s not it, y-you just made me flustered. How can you just say something like that? I could never be so bold like you.” Aoi mumbled as if he hadn't done something even bolder just minutes before. “But if it is a request from you, then I shall give in” The boy gave him a smug smile to try and look cool, but failed because he was still very red. He then approached his face to Rui’s and put his hand on his cheek. He then gently pressed his lips on his. He tasted like mint which Rui would usually dislike. After all, mint was an herb that was also technically very close to a vegetable. And vegetables were the bane of his existence. But if it came from Aoi, he would enjoy the taste of mint forever. It didn’t taste bitter anyway. 

He wished this kiss, his first kiss with Aoi, would have lasted forever. It was just the two of them, warm lips pressed together under the shade of the cherry tree. The wind was blowing slightly and making their hair and the leaves of the tree move. They were sitting away from the other students, out of sight, near the two flower beds full of oleanders and begonias blooming. This kiss, it felt right. A lot more than when he had kissed Mizuki for the first time. 

Perhaps this was what kissing your soulmate felt like?

Well, he liked it. It made him giddy and warm inside. 

Eventually, Aoi pulled away, somehow even more red and put his head in his hands in embarrassment. Rui was a little out of it and smiling like an idiot. The bell rang and they went to class, Rui practically beaming as he walked with Aoi. He was glad he didn’t need to concentrate in class since he was still thinking about what had happened. Aoi asking him out on a date confidently, Aoi kissing the slight mess on his face he had made away, Aoi flustered by Rui’s words, Aoi’s warm lips, Aoi, Aoi, Aoi~

That night, he decided to run back home and call someone he had not called in a little while, only texted. He dialed Mizuki’s number since he knew this situation could not be told by text. He also needed their fashion advice. They picked up on the third ring.

“Rui!!! You never call me hehe~ What’s the occasion?” They seemed a lot more cheerful than they used to be. It was a very nice surprise. 

“Mizuki! I have some news!” Rui excitedly said. “So, remember the friend I made at my school, Aoi?”

“Yeah, the guy you always talk about and have a huge crush on! Ooooh, did you finally confess?” They asked. 

“Even better! So, we were eating as usual near the cherry tree and I had a little something on my face. Instead of telling me where it was so I could wipe it off, he licked it away from me. He then asked me out on a date! And then he played with my hair and I asked for a kiss and he got flustered, but he eventually kissed me!” Rui retold like a schoolgirl gossiping, literally on his bed lying down on his stomach and kicking his feet in the air. 

“What??? What a weirdo! You two are really made for each other haha!” they exclaimed and laughed. “I’m glad you finally got a date for once. Good for you!” Their voice sounded a little less cheerful, perhaps a little bitter, but he didn’t call them out.

“So the date is tomorrow and I was wondering what I should wear. As the cutest fashion expert, I was wondering if you could help me,” he asked with fake shyness.

“...I’m coming over right now. This can’t be done over the phone.” They ended the call and Rui looked at his phone, dumbfounded. Well, this was Mizuki, they would be here in about ten minutes if they decided to be slow. He told his parents that Mizuki was coming over and his mother was very pleased. She always liked it when he had friends over. She said she would prepare snacks and bring them later.

It took Mizuki 5 minutes to arrive at Rui’s house. It was impressive how gay people could walk to extreme speeds when they put their minds to it. And Mizuki put their mind to it, that was for sure. They didn’t bother knocking, just barged in out of breath in their cute little baggy clothes. They immediately saw Sora and Sagan and squealed. They picked up Sora and nuzzled it, then petted Sagan.

“Awww, they are so cute! You made those?” they asked.

“Yeah, the fox is Sora and the cat is Sagan. They are very affectionate.” He bent down to give his robots the attention they deserved. The two rooftop friends played with the bots for a little while until Mizuki snapped out of it and decided to start being serious.

“Okay, open your closet, gay boy! We are giving you a makeover!” Mizuki walked up to him with a shine in their eyes. “I brought my sis’ makeup bag so we are beautifying you for your date!”

“Oh, um alright then.” He shrugged and opened his closet door. Sora and Sagan looked at them with interest. Mizuki stared at it for a few minutes and looked at him disappointed.

“...what is this?” they said with the most disappointed tone he had ever heard.

“My closet?” He tilted his head to the side. He wasn’t sure if this was a trick question.

“I couldn’t call this a closet! What the hell is this selection of clothes?” Mizuki exclaimed, flabbergasted.

“H-hey! It’s not that bad!”

“You’re supposed to be a flamboyant gay man! Not a butch lesbian that dresses like a five-year-old boy!”

“Mizukiiii, you’re so mean to me! My mom bought those. And… some of those are my father’s old clothes.”

“...Look, I respect Mrs and Mr Kamishiro, but this.” She pointed at his closet. “This is a crime to fashion. Also, why don’t you buy your own clothes?!? You’re old enough to do so!”

“...I prefer shopping for other things like robotics parts, circuits, gardening tools…”

“Ugh! You’re hopeless! And you want me to help you dress for your date? With this selection?”

“...yes” Mizuki looked at him with a serious expression.

“...Give me a moment.” They started going through all of his clothes and selected a few T-shirts, shirts, vests, and some decent pants. “Okay, try this combination first.” They pointed at some beige pants, a long-sleeved white shirt, and a beige sleeveless vest. 

“Um… okay, but turn away.”

“Ugh, you’re so dramatic. It’s not like you have anything interesting under there,” they deadpanned. He glared at them. 

“...Turn away.” They finally did as he asked while rolling their eyes. He quickly changed and told them to look.

“That’s… something.” They sighed. “Alright, um…” They thought for a moment and gave him another set of clothes to try on. This went on for thirty minutes. At some point, his mother brought cute little snacks for them, petted his bots, and went away. The robots decided to play hide and seek in the pile of clothes. They were adorable. Rui tried on outfit after outfit and Mizuki never seemed satisfied. 

That was until he tried on an outfit made of beige pants, a dark green T-shirt, and a blue long-sleeved vest. They said it was good enough and called it a night.

“Okay, I’m staying here for the night. At what time do you leave for school?” They invited themselves.

“6:30.”

“Whu? 6:30??? That’s so early! We’ll have to wake up at 4:30 minimum! Ugh, guess I’m skipping tomorrow. Be grateful,” they exclaimed. “Now, I’m taking a set of your pajamas and you better have a spare toothbrush somewhere. I’m also taking a shower and so should you!” They took out a pair of his only decent pajamas and started walking out the door.

“Well, geez, make yourself at home.” He rolled his eyes and took his stuff to prepare for the night. They went to the main house and Mizuki waved at his parents before taking the bathroom. “Mizuki is staying the night,” he told them. They hummed in acknowledgment and went to prepare the futon. Mizuki was out of the shower after 45 minutes. 

“D-do you seriously use two-in-one shampoo?!?” they exclaimed as they ran down the stairs to see him.

“Yeah? It’s far more efficient and showers take less time,” he answered and Mizuki looked at him as if he had just told them he had eaten their firstborn child.

“Y-you have to be kidding me! No wonder your hair is a literal mop! That kind of shampoo makes the hair have a wooly texture, it’s horrible!” they ranted. “Use shampoo and conditioner separately at the minimum! Use your mom’s for now, it smells pretty good too. The coconut scent is pretty nice. Now go! Oh and use the conditioner for the ends of your hair and maybe pass a hand through your hair with the residual. Don’t use the whole bottle and be smart about this! Use your brain!” They pushed him into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. And so, he did as they said and came out of the shower a new man. Just kidding, he looked the same, just that his hair did not smell like two-in-one shampoo, but instead like coconut. Mizuki approved and they both went back to his garage to sleep.

The next morning, Rui woke up feeling anxious and excited. He woke up with 5 hours of sleep in him and waited for Mizuki to wake up by fiddling with his robot. They eventually did when their alarm clock went off. They looked exhausted and annoyed but forced themselves to get up. They looked at him and groaned.

“How can you have so much energy at 4:30?” Mizuki walked to him and flopped onto his back.

“I’ve been awake for about an hour and also, I’m used to having almost no sleep and being functional.

“Ugh, let’s get dressed and go eat breakfast. I’ll start doing your hair and makeup after.” They detached themselves from him and took the same clothes they wore yesterday. Both of them got changed and ate breakfast in the main house. They went back to Rui’s garage and Mizuki asked him to give him his hairbrush. 

“Um… it has to be here somewhere…” he said as he searched for it in one of his messy drawers. 

“...you do have one… right?” they asked, just for good measure.

“Of course I do! Who do you think I am? I’m not that uncaring of my hair,” he answered, offended. Mizuki didn’t answer, just looked at him. He put his hand to his heart in a fake hurt gesture. He found his brush five minutes later when Sora brought it to him. He petted the fox on the head and gave the brush to Mizuki who decided to use it on their short hair. They gestured at him to sit down on his desk chair and brushed his hair. They hummed a tune as they started styling his hair. He ended up with part of his hair in a bun, the rest was loose. They also did his makeup; the usual red streak under his eyes, a little mascara, and foundation and that was mostly it. Since makeup was banned at his school, they made it look natural so that he wouldn’t get in trouble. They changed his earring to a cute jeweled one made of moonstone. With a dash of perfume, he was ready to go to school. His outfit for the date was in his bag. Mizuki looked proud of their work and sent him off, petting Sora and Sagan one last time before going back to their house to sleep the day off. 

Rui’s nerves were high while he was on the train. He couldn’t wait to see Aoi’s reaction to his change of look for the date. He hoped the boy would like it. 

And he did. When Rui went to meet Aoi at their usual spot in the morning, the boy was already there somehow. Usually, Rui waited 15 minutes before the other showed up, but not today. The boy looked the same mostly except that his hair looked shinier in the sunlight that day. His turquoise hair reflected the light like the gemstone of the same name as his hair color. He was mesmerizing as usual. 

The boy saw him and his eyes widened. He blushed and put his hand to his face. Rui approached him with a smug smile. He had to thank Mizuki for this. 

“Aoi! Good morning! I’m excited for our date. Fufu~” He ran up to him and gave him a warm smile. 

“R-Rui, um, hello! You, um, you look different.” Aoi’s gaze lingered on him. 

“Oh, this?” He pointed at his hair. “I just wanted to change up my hairstyle a bit.” As if Mizuki hadn’t berated him for how he took care of his hair before and didn’t ask him about how he wanted to style his hair. 

“W-well, it fits you. You should do more things with your hair. “ Aoi reached out to touch the loose part of his hair. “Oh, it feels a little softer than yesterday. So you decided to try to care for it a bit more. I’m glad.” Aoi then took a strand of his purple hair and kissed it. It was so bold and took Rui by surprise. He couldn’t help but blush at the action. He laughed nervously, not knowing what to say. “Oh, it smells different. Is that coconut?” 

“Um… y-yeah.” Rui was now the one flustered. Aoi was so close to him, that he couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about everything. 

“That’s nice. I like it.” Aoi released his strand of long hair. “Oh, is that makeup too? That’s against school rules, you know?” 

“I know. But I’ve been wearing a little bit every day anyway. No one pays attention enough to get me in trouble, so you better not tell on me.” He winked at him. Aoi blushed again and turned his head to the side. 

“W-well, we’ll see if you get caught this time. A-and you always wear makeup?” Aoi asked, flustered and confused.

“Yeah. This little streak under my eyes,” he gestured under his eyes, “it’s makeup. I always wear it.”

“No way! I never noticed it. Huh, maybe you won’t get caught then.” Aoi looked intently into his eyes. Rui got the chance to admire the vast sky that was his eyes. So pretty, the sky itself could not compare. 

They talked about other topics until the bell rang. Rui never got caught for wearing makeup since no one cared enough to notice, except Aoi, of course. And that was fine with Rui. 

At the end of the school day, they met up under the cherry tree once again. Rui had changed into the outfit Mizuki had chosen for him. He was waiting under the shade of the tree for his date to come join him and escort him to the place the boy had chosen which he still didn’t know what they would do. He was looking intently at the oleanders and at their beauty.

“Ru~i!” A sing-song voice said his name. The way he said his name, emphasizing the ‘i’ sound by making it higher-pitched, made his inside squirm with joy. He looked at his date with an inflamed face. And what he saw didn’t help reduce the heat on his face. The beautiful boy was wearing skinny black jeans with white sneakers. He had a white T-shirt and a brown vest on. Around his neck was a sparkly silver chain. It fit him, he looked casual, but somehow a little chic. “Let’s go!”

“W-where to?” Rui asked.

“Geez, I told you it’s a secret. Trust me, you’ll like it.” Aoi rolled his eyes and smiled. He started walking towards the street and Rui followed him. They were side by side, sadly not holding hands since that would be too suspicious. Two men holding hands were sure to be labeled gay. Not that Rui cared since it was true, but he simply didn’t want a repeat of elementary school. Especially since he would be dragging Aoi down with him. Aoi didn’t deserve to get bullied. He only deserved nice things. 

After a 15-minute walk, they arrived at their destination. It was a rollerskating ring. Rollerskating, something Rui had never done in his life. Rui liked trying new things, most times. But, he was with his date now. He didn’t want to look like a fool in front of him. So that was why he felt a little dreadful at the sight of the big sign on top of the building saying it was a rollerskating ring. 

“Hehe, we are here.” Aoi proudly said before they entered the building. Rui took a deep breath and convinced himself to not be nervous anymore. How hard could rollerskating be? He just had to put one foot in front of the other and not fall. Sure, there were wheels so it was most likely not as easy as he thought, but he had learned to ride a bike as a child, so he could learn to roller skate as a teen. 

Aoi paid for both of their tickets despite Ruîs protests against it. He could have very well paid for his own ticket, thank you very much! They rented out the skates and put them on. Easy enough, it was like putting on a running shoe… relatively. Rui had to put his hair down entirely, much to Aoi’s protests (he even asked Rui if he  really  had to put a helmet on, which Rui insisted on… just to make sure he didn’t accidentally kill himself by falling on his head.) They were ready to do some skating.  

Aoi got up and Rui tried to follow, but his knees were wobbly. Aoi was going on ahead like a graceful deer while he couldn’t move. He knew at that moment that he had messed up. If he were to take a step, he would for sure trip and fall. The clumsy teenager was clinging desperately to the wall like a spider crawling. But instead of going up, he was slowly slipping and his skates were making him roll forward. He lost balance quite quickly and fell on his ass with a thud. Aoi turned around and looked at what had happened. He saw Rui, on the ground, legs all over the place and hands on the ground trying to get himself back up and failing. The boy laughed at his failed attempts as Rui glared at him. It seemed his attempts at intimidation did not work, especially since he was on the ground. 

“D-do you need help?” Aoi said between laughs. Rui was not amused and was also a very unpredictable fellow, so he wanted to get back at him and embarrass him too. 

“Well yes, my prince in shining armor, I would love a hand getting up,” he said dramatically and teasingly. It didn’t work on Aoi somehow and the boy actually offered his hand. Well, Rui had managed to embarrass himself further; now he was blushing furiously at the boy’s boldness.

“Well, whatcha doing just staring? Take my hand so we can start skating.” Aoi smugly said. Rui begrudgingly did as told and put his hand in the other’s. The boy’s hand was cold but in a refreshing way. His hands were somehow very soft as if he used fancy lotions on them. Aoi always seemed to take care of himself, unlike Rui who couldn’t care less about his appearance. He usually found that type of self-care, appearance-related, to be a waste of time and money. Using fancy lotions, shampoos, and soaps, was not his thing. Besides, it took a lot of time to use different products for self-care which he could be using on creating shows or robots. 

Aoi looked quite content with himself as if he had all orchestrated this. And he did. Perhaps he knew that Rui had no experience with roller skating somehow. How he knew of that very niche piece of information, Rui would never know. They were skating around the round ring not talking, simply enjoying each other’s presence. Rui’s eyes were glued on their hands, Aoi's left hand on his right, guiding him along so he wouldn’t fall. Rui was simply getting dragged by Aoi, not wanting to risk falling again by moving.

“So, gonna skate for real or not?” Aoi broke the comfortable silence. 

“Well, I would, but I don’t mind being dragged either.” Rui forced himself to reply as nonchalantly as possible.

“...you can’t skate, can you?” Aoi asked, knowingly. So that was one mystery solved. Aoi had known Rui couldn’t skate somehow. He glared at the pretty boy.

“What do you think?” he deadpanned. 

“Eh? Finally, something the all-talented Rui Kamishiro can’t do? My, that’s strange. Who would have thought?” the turquoise-haired boy teased. Rui felt a little embarrassed and looked at the ground. He could see the way they were moving at a relatively moderate speed on the ground. Aoi’s feet were pushing slightly on the side, so his movement was not like a regular step. It looked like a natural graceful movement, so Rui decided to give it a try. He moved his right foot slightly to the side to give himself a push and stumble. Aoi caught him and had to stop them.

“Geez, you nearly tripped us both.” He laughed at his mistake. Rui glared at him once more.

“Well, if someone would teach me how this works, I wouldn’t constantly stumble,” Rui subtly, but not really, suggested.

“Nah, I know you’re capable of learning by yourself and well, it gives me an excuse to hold your hand.” Aoi blushed at his own words and looked to the side. So he liked holding his hand? It seemed Rui’s suspicions might have been correct, Aoi knew he didn’t know how to skate and orchestrated his master plan to hold Rui’s hand. It was honestly cute. Rui’s heart beat faster. He wanted to scheme for ways to hold Aoi’s hand too in the future. “Also, it’s funny to see you try something you don’t excel at right away.” Aoi smirked.

Rui rolled his eyes and took that a bit personally. He continued to observe the graceful movements of Aoi’s skating and slowly recreated them. He failed over and over again, Aoi having to stop him from falling on his ass again while laughing at him. His date’s laugh was lovely and melodious, he just wished he wasn’t laughing at his pathetic attempts at skating. At least his date was having fun even if it embarrassed him. 

Eventually, Rui did something he rarely did, except for when it came to social situations, he gave up. He decided to enjoy Aoi dragging him around the laps and holding his hand. It was still very fun, but Aoi eventually got tired and they left the skating rink. 

Aoi let go of his hand to get his skates off. Rui looked at his lonely hand for a little while, a little disappointed. He had held many things in his hands during his lifetime; tools, books, pens, scripts, and other objects. Holding Aoi’s hand had been the thing he had enjoyed holding the most. He had held hands with others before; notably his parents’, uncles’, and Nene’s, but there was something special about holding his date’s hand. It was probably because it wasn’t platonic at all, not just because he was far older than when he had held hands with his family or Nene as a child. He wanted to hold it again, no matter if others judged him because they assumed correctly that the two boys were dating. It was not as if others’ judgment had stopped him before (entirely anyway). So, he wasn’t about to let it stop him from holding hands with his date.

Ah, but what if Aoi was scared by others’ judgment? It wasn’t just him who was affected by this situation in this case, after all, dates are a minimum two-person activity. He couldn’t just grab Aoi’s hand without warning and expect to hold it in public! Aoi might feel uncomfortable and-

“You haven’t even started getting your skates off? What’s up?” The turquoise-haired boy had finished putting on his shoes and looked at Rui with a slightly annoyed expression. His tone was simply curious though, which was a relief, but it still violently snapped Rui out of his thoughts. 

“Ah, sorry, I was lost in thought for a moment.” Rui tensed and smiled. 

“Is this date too ‘boring’ for you? Don’t start getting lost in there then, geez.” Aoi slightly pushed him to the side jokingly. 

“N-no, not at all. I’m sorry, I’ll just quickly take these off…” Rui stuttered and took off his skates at record speeds. Aoi chuckled lightly at his embarrassment and subtly wrapped their hands together again as if they had never stopped. It took Rui by surprise, but he quickly got over it as his heart felt warm. Cold soft hands on his calloused ones, it was all he wanted. They started walking towards the exit to the streets. Rui didn’t know if this was the end of the date already. He didn’t want it to end yet! It had only been two hours and he wanted to spend more time with his date. 

Maybe they were going on a walk? Maybe they were walking towards the train station? Should he ask? Would it sound weird? How did dates work? He should have researched this before, instead, he had only focused on his appearance which he never did! 

“Don’t squeeze my hand so hard geez!” Aoi said in pain. 

“Ah! I’m sorry!” Rui immediately unclenched his hand and detached it from the other’s. He put his arm firmly straight on his side even though he hitched to make contact with Aoi again. But he couldn’t because he had hurt him. And Rui really hated with a passion hurting people. So, he didn’t deserve the sweet gift of holding his date’s hand if he were to hurt him. It seemed he could only mess up today.

“What’s up with you today?” His tone was curious, but his words were harsh. It made Rui panic on the inside. He had really messed up the date and now Aoi, no, his soulmate would be disappointed that he was paired with a weirdo like him! “You’re acting all nervous and cautious, almost like when we first met. Is it because we are on a date and this is your first date ever?”

Now, he felt even more embarrassed. Somehow, Aoi knew exactly why he was not ‘himself’ and he also knew that Rui had never been on a date. How did Aoi know all of this? Could he read minds? No, that was ridiculous, he was simply really smart and could deduce things based on previous information and Rui’s reactions. He seemed to be able to read Rui like a book and that unnerved him a little. Was Aoi that smart or was Rui simply easy to read? His conclusion was that Aoi was simply smart. Besides, no one had ever found Rui easy to read.

“M-maybe?” Rui said, avoiding the truth. He was not about to admit his pathetic weakness to his date! How would he be seen after that if so?

“Uh-huh… sure. Well, just so you know, if that just so happens to be the case, it’s kinda cute.” Cupid’s arrow shot through Rui’s heart. He was cute? That was impossible. Rui was not cute and also didn’t do cute things!

“T-that’s not true! It’s not cute!” Rui denied, cheeks quite red.

“So, you admit that you’re nervous and cautious?” Aoi replied cheekily. Rui couldn’t believe he had fallen for such an obvious trap. He was supposed to be a lot smarter than this, but it seemed that with Aoi, he easily took the bait and made stupid mistakes. 

“That is not at all what I said!” Rui rebutted, not denying the accusation. Aoi looked at him as if he had won some game they were playing. 

“If you say so. It’s also cute how you blush like that, but you didn’t hear it from me.” Aoi looked ahead while Rui was trying to find a good rebuttal. “Ah, we are here.” Here? Rui looked ahead and saw that they had arrived at a little ramen shop. He had never seen this place, probably because he was not familiar with the area where they were having their date. It looked like a regular run-of-the-mill ramen shop with posters advertising their deals. They went in, Rui fighting his inner self to stop himself from asking if this was part of their date. It probably was, logically, that is what Rui concluded, but he wasn’t completely sure. 

The rest of the night was wonderful. They ordered their ramen and ate it. It was delicious even if Rui only ate the meat, broth, and noodles. He gave his veggies to Aoi, who wouldn’t let him give them to him at first, but eventually relented after Rui gave him puppy dog eyes. The purple-haired veggie hater insisted on paying this time as Aoi had paid for their entrance at the skating rink but was beaten by how fast his date tapped his card on the machine. The boy smirked and said that he was the one who had invited Rui on the date, so he should pay. Rui was internally fuming and scheming on how to invite Aoi on a date that he would pay for. They ended the day by walking around town hand in hand. Rui finally started to let loose. He couldn’t help but notice the stares, but he tried to ignore them and focus on Aoi’s cold hands. Aoi didn’t seem to notice other’s stares, so Rui decided to do the same and enjoy his date’s presence.

They parted ways at the train station and waved each other goodbye. Rui thought to himself while he was on the train to go back home that even if he had been nervous and kept messing up, deep down, he had quite enjoyed this date. Aoi’s cold hand in his, his cute little smirk and melodious laugh, his floaty turquoise hair, sky-blue eyes, and just overall beauty. He couldn’t have asked for anyone better as a date. His heart felt giddy and he was unintentionally smiling softly at himself as he recalled their date. He arrived back home and Sagan and Sora detached themselves from their little cuddle session to greet him. He went to bed and dreamt of cold hands and cute smiles

They decided to go on four more dates before making it official. He had met Aoi officially for over two months and they were now boyfriends. Rui officially had a boyfriend. How insane was that? He knew that it would most likely happen one day, but he had never thought it would be this early in his life. He had enjoyed all of their dates. They got to hold hands, talk, enjoy each other’s company, do fun activities, and much more. Rui had been the one organizing and paying for their second date and took them to Miraikan to see a robotics exposition. He got to see Aoi with stars in his eyes, looking at the robots with such excitement. Rui could barely pay attention to the people explaining the different robots when he was next to such a beautiful sight. They went to a cute little dumpling place and shared their meal. They parted ways super late at night right before the last train because they had decided to go to a dark park where no one was and shared a few kisses under the lamplight. 

They kept alternating on who would plan and pay for the date. They decided on this system after on the third date, they once more ‘fought’ about who would pay and Rui somehow managed to tap his card faster. It made Aoi sulk for at least ten minutes before Rui finally relented and proposed this system. They went to do many activities together; once they went on a hike on a little mountain and got to see a lot of flowers and trees. They also gushed about the insects and other animals they saw. Another time, they decided to go to a botanical garden and exchange local flora facts. Each and every time, Rui got to admire the one he liked. He kept falling harder and harder, faster and faster, for this turquoise-haired boy who had somehow stolen his heart in such a short amount of time. He was too good for Rui, so kind, funny, smart, pretty… But well, Rui didn’t complain that Aoi had chosen him out of everyone. He didn’t understand why, but he didn’t have to. Aoi was his boyfriend now and that was all he needed to know. 

They had made it official under the cherry tree where they met up all the time. It was a sunny morning when Aoi had asked him to become his boyfriend to which Rui enthusiastically agreed on the spot. He had absolutely not blushed profusely and stuttered, absolutely not. They kissed under the beautiful cherry tree and next to the wonderful flower beds and went to class both feeling a little shy. The next month passed by like a flash. They went on many more dates and shared many hidden kisses under the cherry trees. The couple even once went back to the roller skating rink, and Rui enjoyed it. He had learned how to move with the skates, even if he still slightly struggled. That was fine because Aoi was holding his hand as they skated side by side. As time went on, Rui was no longer flustered by the kisses under the shade. He simply enjoyed the feeling of his boyfriend’s lips on his. The taste of mint never got old and the cold hands in his calloused ones didn’t either. He wished to see Aoi every day and more, be by his side at all times, but he knew it was important to have time apart. Besides, Aoi had made friends other than Rui at school.

And that made him a little sad.

Rui hadn’t managed to make friends with other students. He hadn’t even been able to befriend Aoi’s new friend group. They were… strange to Rui. They were the typical good at sports, popular with the ladies sort of guys, but they also did some more illegal things. They often met up after school to smoke somewhere and talked about how they should go to bars. It was not something he was interested in, but Aoi was… somehow. It was a side that he hadn’t known Aoi had. He constantly talked to them about how he had a ‘fake ID’ and went to bars around town. Aoi seemed like a different person with these bizarre people. It freaked Rui out. The genius teenager sometimes hung out with them, but they always stared at him with judgment and annoyance, so he stopped after a while. When Aoi decided to go hang out with his friends, Rui went to the library or checked out the other garden beds alone. He didn’t want to ask Aoi to always hang out with him, even if Rui had no one but him by his side. Aoi had his own life with his own friends, just like Rui had his own life, with his own singular friend. 

Aoi didn’t hang out with them all the time, just way too often, in Rui’s jealous opinion. He didn’t want to ask his boyfriend to stop hanging out with these people with their weird habits, even if he totally should because those people seemed like they might influence Aoi to do some illegal things. He was old enough to make his independent decisions… Logically, these words made sense, but Rui’s heart was behaving weirdly. He couldn’t help but feel a sharp pain in his chest each time Aoi chose to hang out with his friends instead of him. A little space was fine… well it would have been if Rui had other friends at school. Instead, Rui spent his time texting Mizuki when Aoi was away. He had told them about how he was now dating Aoi and they were super happy for him. It was nice to talk to them, even if it wasn’t face-to-face. He learned that they were really into this magical girl show and that they made cool little edits of it. They posted them on the Internet for all to see and Rui was a huge fan of their editing even if he had never seen the show. 

One day, he was texting Mizuki under the cherry tree when Aoi came up to him. Rui hadn’t expected him to come today since he had said that he was going to hang out with his ‘boys’ or whatever that meant. Aoi looked over his shoulder at Rui’s phone from his standing-up position.

“Who are you texting?” he said with a low tone, making Rui jump slightly and look at him. He hadn’t known his boyfriend was behind him.

“Oh, just my friend Mizuki,” he answered smoothly. Aoi was looking at him skeptical as he plopped down next to him. 

“And who is this exactly? Have you made a new ‘friend’?” Aoi was looking slightly mad for some reason, Rui couldn’t figure it out.

“No, no. Mizuki is my middle school friend. They were always there for me even when times were tough. They are one year younger than us, so they aren’t in high school,” Rui explained. He wasn’t sure why he had to explain this, but it felt right. Aoi still looked at him suspiciously as if he suspected the other of lying. His stare made Rui involuntarily sweat and feel guilty for some reason. As if texting his friend was a crime.

“And why have I never heard of this ‘Mizuki’ person?” Aoi asked, eyebrow raised. 

“Have I never mentioned them before?” he asked genuinely. He had forgotten if he had told Aoi about Mizuki. Maybe he hadn’t, he didn’t remember. Aoi and he had talked about many things, it would be possible that he had forgotten some conversations they had. But still, he was pretty sure he had mentioned Mizuki at some point. After all, they were an important person in his life.

“No.” Aoi stared at him way too intently for Rui’s comfort. 

“Well, maybe I should introduce you to them then. After all, they are my rooftop bestie.”

“Rooftop bestie?” The glint in Aoi’s eyes turned confused.

“Yeah, I met Mizuki on the rooftop of my old middle school about a year or so ago. They were there because they felt like taking a break from all the others that kept making fun of them and well, I guess I was there for the same reason. They have always been there for me and we’ve comforted each other in our hardest of times.” Rui smiled softly as he recalled all the great and not-so-great moments with his friend. 

“… is that so?” He had a weird look on his face that Rui couldn’t decipher. Was he… uncomfortable? Maybe annoyed? Rui couldn’t tell. 

“Yeah. Oh, I should text them to see when they are free so you two can meet. They’ve wanted to meet you for a while but we never got the chance to meet up,” Rui excitedly said and texted Mizuki. Aoi stayed quiet as the excited teenager did so. Once he got a notification, he perked up and looked at his phone. “They say we could all meet up Saturday afternoon, is that okay?”

“…I guess,” he cryptically answered and Rui texted Mizuki about how they would meet up at a family restaurant closer to where both Rui and they lived. “Hey, look, I’m here because I have a suggestion for you.” That got Rui’s attention and he put away his phone. 

“Look, I was wondering if you wanted to go to a bar with me as a date.”

“A bar? But we’re underage. We can’t go there,” Rui retorted, knowing where Aoi got the idea. It was those damn bizarre friends he had that kept talking about alcohol and drugs. 

“Um… we can. You see there are those things called fake IDs and I have a contact who makes those for cheap,” Aoi started. Fake IDs? Those were very illegal and could get them in a lot of trouble… But Rui had done illegal things before. Sure, they were for shows like how he constantly went to Phoenix Wonderland to put on his guerilla gigs, but it was technically breaking and entering. Still, it could be risky to get fake IDs. “And I already have one, so I just have to make one for you. Just need a photo and that’s it.”

“I don’t know…” Rui said. He was usually not one to refuse to do things out of his comfort zone or considered ‘dangerous’. He just didn’t understand the hype behind drinking alcohol especially since it was technically just ingesting poison for fun. And bars seemed to be places where he wouldn’t have such a great time. It would be dark as the lights would be weird, a lot of people and noise around, and the smell of alcohol. 

“Look, it’s pretty fun and we should try it together. I’ve been to bars a few times and it’s pretty chill. I’m sure you’ll end up liking it.” Aoi waited for his approval. Rui didn’t know what to say. Deep down, he had the feeling he should say no, but it was Aoi suggesting it. Aoi, his boyfriend, who seemed to enjoy drinking and going to bars, told Rui to go there with him on a date. Maybe that meant it would be fine. He had never wanted or tried alcohol before. Maybe there was a reason these adults intentionally poisoned themselves and even got addicted to it. Besides, Aoi liked this stuff and as his boyfriend, Rui should try to participate in activities his lovely lover liked. For Aoi and with Aoi. It was just one time, it wouldn’t hurt to try, right?

Right.

“Alright, we can try. You already have photos of me, so just use those. When and where do you want to go?” Rui relented. 

“Yes! Okay, so we should go on Friday and at a bar near my house. I’ll have your fake ID ready for Friday and give it to you then. We’ll meet at the train station near my place. That good?” The boy played with his hair as he usually did when they sat under the cherry tree together. He liked to braid and just caress his long strands of hair.

“Yeah…” 

What had he gotten himself into? His parents would surely disapprove, but he didn’t have to tell them. They would just make him not go and then his date with Aoi would be ruined. So, on Friday, he told his parents he would be back late because he was going on a late-night stargazing date with Aoi. He put on his new pretty clothes that he had bought with Mizuki a month ago. They had insisted on taking him on a shopping trip ever since they had seen his pathetic excuse of a closet. He had jeans and a short-sleeved white shirt. He put on light makeup which he had bought with Mizuki. They had also taught him how to use it. He put on his foundation and light mascara. Of course, he always put on his little red eyeliner since it looked good on him. He ended his look by styling his long hair in a bun just like Aoi liked it. 

He was ready and headed to the train station. It took him about half an hour to arrive at Aoi’s train stop, but when he did, he didn’t have to wait for the boy. The other looked pretty casual with his ripped jeans and jean-style black sleeveless jacket. Even in this odd style, Rui thought he looked handsome and smiled at him when he saw the boy. Sky-blue eyes locked onto his yellow ones and the other intertwined their hands together. Aoi led them to a hidden bar in some trashy poorly lit alleyway. It scared Rui, so he started hugging his boyfriend’s arm really tight. He was usually not scared of the dark or alleyways, but there was just something so eerie about this one. Perhaps it was the trash bags littering the street or the empty bottles of scotch left there, but it made Rui’s skin crawl. Aoi opened a random door that led to a corridor. Now, that really creeped Rui out. What if there were violent people here who wanted to hurt them? Rui didn’t like fighting or blood at all, so he wouldn’t know what to do.

“Hey, are you sure we are at the right place?” Rui’s voice shook a little.

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’m a regular here anyway. Oh, here’s your card by the way.” The boy pulled out a card with his photo on it and a date of birth that made him legal to drink. He was now twenty according to this card. Well, a lot of young adults looked young and had baby faces, so it should pass. “Whatever got you so scared anyway? Is it too dark or something haha.” Aoi looked at him softly. It was a look Aoi had started to give him not so long ago. The boy had a certain spark in his sky-blue eyes that made him look incredibly soft and loving. It never failed to make him blush and neither did it fail this time. Rui didn’t answer, just put the boy’s hand flush on his body and wrapped it around his arms. 

They eventually could hear loud music and talking. It came from behind a door that had a little sign with the name of the bar. Aoi opened the old wooden door and Rui was harrassed by the loud music and weird red lights. He closed his eyes and buried his face in Aoi’s shoulder. 

“Oh, hey there Utsuro. Glad to have you here again. Oh, I see you brought someone new,” someone said. Rui detached himself from his boyfriend to look around. There were a lot of men around and some…women? Well, the people he saw looked like women, but they had so much makeup on which he had never seen anyone put on before. There were also a lot of men who dressed feminine and had put on makeup just like him. Other men looked old and gruff. It was a strange set of people, one he would have never expected to see together. It was interesting. His boyfriend greeted the man who had talked to them, but Rui didn’t listen. Or, well couldn’t listen because everything was so loud and overwhelming. Aoi had a conversation with the man and eventually dragged Rui to the bar.

He ordered a shot to start them off. Rui was asked for his ID and the purple-haired underage boy gave him the fake one he had just received. The bartender made them their drink which Aoi paid for. He also gave them a little slice of lemon with it. Rui took the tiny glass and smelled it. It smelled strong of alcohol and he scrunched up his nose. Aoi looked at him amused and told him to down the whole shot after his count of three and then eat the lemon. And so, Rui did. He drank the whole thing and felt his throat burn. It tasted absolutely disgusting. He had smelled his mother’s nail polish and it tasted exactly as he imagined the taste of that thing to be. He coughed and immediately put the lemon in his mouth to change the taste. It didn’t alleviate it completely and it made him want to eat a whole bag of soda candy just so the taste in his mouth would fade. Aoi laughed at him and ordered another drink for them. Rui didn’t feel like drinking anymore, but Aoi had already paid, so he had no choice. They got their drinks and hiws lover made them sit down near some other people who seemed to know him. Aoi talked with those people and Rui mostly listened. He only talked when spoken to, nothing more. He didn’t feel comfortable in this strange environment full of adults and loud music. He kept clinging onto Aoi and hoped that time would pass by quickly. 

He started drinking his drink. It was rum and coke, or so he heard Aoi say. He liked that kind of soda, so he thought it would be good. It wasn’t. It was fizzy just as he liked, but it tasted nothing like coke. It was sweet, sure, but it was also bitter. There was a weird alcohol aftertaste that made him grossed out. He was starting to feel a little dizzy. From what, he didn’t know. He eventually finished his drink, which he had drunk fast because he wanted the taste gone as fast as possible. He had made an awful mistake. He was starting to feel warm inside and out. Aoi saw that his drink was empty and ordered a refill for him. Rui didn’t want that! It tasted awful, but now he had to drink more? He whined in Aoi’s shoulder and the boy looked at him surprised. Aoi gave him his drink and Rui glared at it. He only drank to pass the time. His boyfriend was busy talking to these strangers while they were on a date! He was starting to get jealous of these adults who kept taking his precious Aoi’s attention away from him.

Halfway through his drink, he stopped tasting that gross alcoholic aftertaste. He drunk the rest of it and hugged Aoi from the back. It made the other tense up when he snuggled his face in the back of his neck and sighed contently. 

“R-Rui? What are you doing?” the boy asked him for some reason as if his actions weren’t clear enough. He was hugging his boyfriend, that was what he was doing! Anyone with eyes could see that! He detached his head and plopped it onto the boy’s shoulder.

“Pay attention to me~~~” Rui whispered breathily in the boy’s ear and giggled. He suddenly had the urge to bite his earlobe. That would surely make Aoi pay attention to him. And so he did, but very gently so that he wouldn’t hurt the other. Aoi slapped a hand on his mouth and turned bright red. His eyes were wide as he pushed Rui away from him.

“Stop that right now! Rui-“ 

Rui didn’t let him finish. He got up from his chair and elegantly sat on his boyfriend’s lap. He turned around and wrapped his legs around the other’s waist, looking into his sky-blue eyes from above. He slowly caressed the other’s chest with his finger and smiled. 

“Aoi~ I love you. Keep those pretty blue eyes on me, okay?” Rui grabbed the other’s chin softly and held him in place so that they would make eye contact. He couldn’t resist his boyfriend. His pretty plump lips just begged for his company after all, so who was he to deny them. He dove down and kissed his boyfriend a lot more aggressively than he had ever done. He couldn’t help it, he wanted Aoi’s attention all to himself, so he had to make a good impression. He shifted himself so that they could somehow be closer and put both of his hands on Aoi’s face. 

He didn’t know what was happening with his brain. It kept telling him to do things he had never thought of before. Things he had only seen in movies or books. And he didn’t stop to think if it was logical to do those things. He simply acted the moment the thought entered his mind. His heart screamed Aoi’s name and wanted to get even closer. He wanted to touch his smooth and cold skin even more, all over his body. The clothes on their bodies were too much of a barrier, his brain wanted to be one with Aoi, whatever that even meant. Logic was thrown out of the window at the moment, only thoughts of his boyfriend. He pulled away for air, out of breath, but quickly dove back for another kiss. His boyfriend wrapped his arms around his waist which made his insides scream with joy. Another odd thought crossed his mind and he acted on it immediately. He bit his boyfriend’s lower lip a little harshly and made the other wince in pain. The turquoise-haired boy pushed Rui away immediately and glared at him. Rui had a dopey smile and half-lidded eyes. He was completely flushed and couldn’t exactly hear his boyfriend’s words. He let his head drop on Aoi’s shoulder and nuzzled it. He was so comfortable and heavy. He wanted to sleep so he closed his eyes and…

Aoi shook him awake and pushed him away from his shoulder. Rui looked at him with half-lidded eyes slightly unfocused. His head was so heavy and he felt like he was about to fall. 

“Okay, we are going back. You’ve had enough.” Aoi’s melodious voice told him. The boy took his hand and dragged him out of the bar. He stumbled out behind him slightly confused. At least he couldn’t hear the overwhelming music and feel the suffocating air anymore. Aoi was going fast and Rui had difficulty keeping up. His steps felt a little out of place and stumbly. He felt heavy, yet his head felt light. He wasn’t in the right headspace, he knew that, but logic was thrown out of the window at the moment for some reason. Even if some things looked a little blurry and others were spinning, he couldn’t help but keep his eyes on the beautiful moonlit frame of his boyfriend. Utterly breathtaking, that was what he was. 

They eventually arrived at a house. Rui had no idea where he was, but he trusted Aoi, so he didn’t feel scared. His boyfriend opened the front door.

“Okay, look. I can’t make you go back home in this state, so you’re staying the night at my house,” Aoi told him when they entered his room. Rui was a little distracted by how the light reflected in his short turquoise hair. “Open your phone, I’m texting your parents for you and telling them you’re staying the night.”

“W-wait! I told them that we were stargazing and stuff,” Rui slurred.

“Yeah, I didn’t think you would tell them that we were going to a bar. Obviously! Open your damn phone, Imma pretend to be you or something.” Aoi put his hand in front of him and Rui did as told. Aoi typed on his phone and gave it back to him. He then walked up to his drawer and pulled out some light blue pajamas. “Go change. Bathroom is the second door on the right.” He handed the pajamas.

Rui robotically, but clumsily, did as told. The pajamas fit him like a glove, except for the waist which was slightly too tight. He was so happy in his boyfriend’s pajamas, they were so comfortable and warm. He looked in the mirror and determined he looked great in them and would probably come over to Aoi’s just to borrow his pajamas more often. He went back to see his boyfriend who had also changed. He looked very cute in his black pajama and Rui went up to him and hugged him from behind. Aoi made him detach himself and dragged him to the bathroom once again. He gave him a toothbrush and some toothpaste. Once Rui was finally ready for bed, he went back to Aoi’s room.

“Okay, I’m gonna set up the futon and-“ Rui would hear none of it. Futon? No way. Aoi was his boyfriend and Rui knew that partners slept in the same bed. Not separately. Rui also wanted to cuddle, dammit! Sure, the weather was warm, but cuddling would warm his heart and that was great. His heart felt very cold and lonely, he needed Aoi to cure it. He took his boyfriend’s arm and dragged them both on the boy’s bed, making them fall one on top of the other. Rui was underneath and decided to wrap his arms around the very shocked boy’s head who had his head on his chest. 

“Wh-what? Rui? What’s this?”

“Aoi~~~ I want you. You need to pay more attention to me. I need you~~~” he slurred. He kissed the top of his boyfriend’s hair and hummed in satisfaction. The boy stiffened and the top of his ears became red.

“Rui, let me go. You’re not thinking right.” Aoi detached himself from him and Rui whined. “I’ll get the futon.” Aoi was about to get off the bed but was stopped by Rui grabbing his hand. He turned around annoyed. Rui guided his boyfriend’s hand to his cheek and nuzzled it. 

“Why would you get that?” Rui giggled at his boyfriend’s ridiculous suggestion. Why did he keep insisting on Rui sleeping on a futon?

“Where else would you sleep?”

“Silly, with you!” Rui scoothed closer to his boyfriend and hugged him. The other was stiff for some reason. It was odd. 

“No. Rui, no.” Aoi was strict about his refusal. It made Rui’s mood shift and a 180 turn. He couldn’t help but have tears streaming down his face for some reason. Was he not good enough? Why wouldn’t Aoi sleep and cuddle with him? He just wanted affection from his boyfriend, was it so wrong? They were soulmates, they would get married and have a family. They would eventually sleep in the same bed. So, why not now? Had Rui overstepped somehow? Did Aoi not love him anymore?

He sniffled and let go of his boyfriend to wipe away his uncontrollable tears. “Why don’t you want to sleep with me?” Rui cried.

“Ru~i, dear, don’t cry. You’re drunk, so I can’t do that. You’ll regret it in the morning and I couldn’t live with myself if you were to ever be hurt like that.”

“Why would I regret it? If it’s with you, I would never regret it. Please?” Rui sniffled again. He didn’t understand much of anything at the moment, only that his heart was screaming for cuddles and kisses. Aoi was very red, it made Rui giggle. His boyfriend was so shy, it was so cute. 

“No, enough. I’m getting the damn futon.” He left the room, leaving a sad pathetic dizzy Rui alone. He blinked and Aoi was back and setting the futon. After that was done, his lover dragged him off his bed and settled him under the blankets. Aoi left again and came back with a big glass of water, ordering the dizzy boy to drink the whole thing. Rui had stopped crying and simply sat there with the most pathetic eyes one could ever make. He grabbed Aoi’s hand weakly and looked at it, red string still pointing in his direction. He played with it a little, even if he knew he couldn’t actually touch the string. It was so pretty. His soulmate string was so pretty. He still wondered to this day why he couldn’t see his string even if he had met his soulmate. It was strange, but he didn’t know the ins and outs of his little quirk, so how should he know? It was probably that he could never see his string. His quirk had to have limitations and one of them was that he couldn’t see his string, right? That would be unfair, just as his eight-year-old self had said.

He kept playing with Aoi’s string, or well finger in this case, and had the urge to kiss it. So, he did and it made Aoi become red again. 

“Can you at least cuddle with me until I fall asleep? I know you don’t want to sleep with me.” His body drooped. “I know I’m not good enough, or maybe you’re not ready. Maybe I’m not trustworthy, too weird, maybe I’m too-“

“Okay, look. None of that now. Please don’t try to guilt-trip me into this. It’s none of those reasons. You’re just drunk. You can’t consent.” Aoi caressed his hair to calm him down. Rui couldn’t understand why his boyfriend said that. He knew in his heart that drunk or not, he wanted some cuddles and that was all. He couldn’t fall asleep anymore without cuddles ever since he created Sagan and Sora. And now, they weren’t there with him. Besides, cuddling with your boyfriend was perfectly normal in Rui’s inexperienced opinion. 

“Please? Just until I fall asleep. T-then you can do whatever you want.” Rui looked at his boyfriend with the saddest eyes and it made the boy crack. Success! 

“Fine!” Aoi sighed and settled himself under the blankets. Rui immediately joined him, now feeling satisfied that he had his way. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s head, positioning him so that the boy’s head would be buried in the crook of his neck. The other boy seemed relaxed despite his previous protests. Rui could feel how Aoi was rubbing soothing circles behind his back. It was slow and rhythmic, making Rui pass out almost immediately.

He woke up with his mouth feeling dry and gross. Aoi saw that he was awake and went to get him some water. 

“How’re you feeling?” the turquoise-haired boy asked genuinely concerned and with soft eyes. Rui was smitten. 

“I’m alright.” Then he remembered that he had embarrassed himself thoroughly the night before. “I am so sorry! I don’t know why I was so emotional and needy like that. Please forget about that.” He was now entirely red. Aoi approached him chuckling and gave him a warm hug.

“Aw, it’s okay. It was kinda cute. I didn’t know you wanted my attention so bad. I don’t mind giving it to you, just when you’re fully sober hehe.” Aoi smiled mischievously. It made Rui’s heart skip a beat. 

“R-really?” 

“Haha, yeah. But still, I-I didn’t expect you to be so bold.” Aoi’s demeanor changed and he seemed flustered. He was talking about the very embarrassing thing Rui had asked the day before. 

“A-ah, I am so sorry for that. I don’t know what came up to me. I just had this intense urge to cuddle with you, I suppose.” Rui admitted.

“W-what? Do you even remember what you asked me?” Aoi asked.

“Yes?” Rui answered unconvincingly. Was he somehow misremembering? That couldn’t be, Rui had a perfect memory. 

“I think you don’t because you asked me-“ Aoi proceeded to retell him how he had understood Rui’s request, which was even more embarrassing than what Rui had actually said. It made the poor boy want to melt and disappear. He had never felt so red in his entire life. He couldn’t even look Aoi in the eyes anymore, which the boy made fun of him for. Aoi kissed him all over his very red face and Rui tried to hide himself. They started pillow fighting until Aoi felt hungry and they started preparing themselves for the day. It was still early, 9 a.m. exactly, so they had time to chill before meeting up with Mizuki. Aoi gave him a pair of his clothes to change in. They smelled like him and Rui felt like he was in heaven. He looked handsome in his boyfriend’s pair of baggy jeans and a white T-shirt. At least, in his very unbiased opinion. 

When he came back from the bathroom after changing, Aoi asked him to sit down on the bed and Rui did so, albeit a bit confused. His boyfriend sat close behind him and started brushing his long purple strands. His movements were gentle and even when he passed through a knot, it didn’t hurt. The boy then started braiding his hair, making Rui curious about how he knew how to do that. He asked and Aoi told him that he had learned from his mother. 

That morning, Rui had learned many things about his boyfriend. Aoi told him all about his mother, and how beautiful, smart, kind, and strong she was. She was a busy woman who had sacrificed her life to give him a decent one after his father left with his mistress when he was 8. She worked two jobs to support them and she was still able to cook and clean. She was an incredible woman who had gone through so much. Aoi’s father left them for a younger woman and never came back. His boyfriend had no contact with him for two reasons; his father had completely disappeared leaving no trace of his whereabouts and even if he was still around, Aoi would never contact him because he hated him. Aoi hated cheaters. More than the average person, it seemed. He told Rui how he still felt hurt by his father’s betrayal and couldn’t stand anyone who would ever do something like that to their partner or family. He admitted that he was disgusted to be related to such a monster like his father who would do that to an angel like his mother. 

Rui also learned that the only reason he got into Tensaikou was because his grandfather from his father’s side left a sum of money so he could get in. His grandfather had been a rich businessman who had made his son go to that prestigious school. He wanted his grandson to do the same. Aoi, to honor his grandfather’s legacy, even if he hated his father, decided to go with the dead man’s wishes. He was now glad he didn’t let his grudge against his father win over and make him go to another school because that was where he met Rui.

Rui had never felt so loved and trusted after Aoi had revealed his past to him. To think they had grown so close in such a short amount of time and that his boyfriend was ready to open up to him. It gave him intense butterflies in his stomach. He was so happy Aoi had decided to go with his grandfather’s wish. To think Rui had almost not met his soulmate! Fate was a really funny concept and worked in bizarre ways. 

They eventually went to eat breakfast and cuddle on the couch. Aoi’s mother was at her job, so Rui couldn’t meet her yet, but he couldn’t wait to meet the person who had raised such a kind wonderful boy. They left a little after 11 to meet up with Mizuki at the family restaurant they had agreed to go to. Rui was excited to see the two most important non-family people in his life meet. They were both wonderful and he couldn’t wait to see them become fast friends so they could all hang out together. 

They got off the bus and made their way to the restaurant. Mizuki wasn’t there yet, as he had expected. They always arrived fashionably late as they always said. Rui and Aoi ordered drinks and sat down at a booth to talk. They held hands under the table so most people couldn’t see. He always loved holding Aoi’s cold hand and hearing his melodious laugh and pretty smile.

Eventually, Rui saw a flash of short pastel pink hair approaching them. He got out of his seat to greet this rooftop friend with a warm hug as they usually did and gestured at them to sit. Mizuki was genuinely smiling at him and it made Rui happy that his friend could let loose around him. He went back to his seat next to a… oddly serious Aoi? His boyfriend was glaring daggers at his friend for some reason. Had they known each other before and had some differences? That would not do, Rui wanted his friend and boyfriend to get along. He rammed through the awkward air of Aoi glaring at Mizuki and Mizuki’s now strained smile and started speaking.

“Mizuki, this is my boyfriend that I talked to you about, Aoi. And Aoi, this is my best friend, Mizuki. We met in middle school like I said.” He smiled at the both of them.

“Nice to meet you. I am Mizuki Akiyama. I’ve known Rui for a whole year now. I hope we can get along,” Mizuki said with a strained voice. It was strange. He didn’t understand what went wrong with this introduction. Aoi just glared at Mizuki and said nothing. It was bizarre how the air around him felt intimidating. It made Rui feel uncomfortable too. He wrapped his hand around his boyfriend's cold one and lightly kicked him under the table.

“Utsuro,” His lover simply said, not breaking eye contact.

“Haha, um, good to know.” They turned to him. “Well, Rui, I never thought you could pull haha. That’s so weird.” Mizuki’s voice changed and they were more cheery.

“So mean~ I don’t like what you’re implying here, dear Mizuki.” Rui laughed. The rest of the meeting stayed awkward. Mizuki and Rui talked and laughed together, Aoi never adding anything, simply glaring and staying there. Rui tried to include him in the conversation, but it never worked for long enough. He was getting tired of Aoi’s attitude. This wasn’t like him at all! He was usually very friendly with everyone, could easily talk and have long interesting conversations with anyone. 

Eventually, Mizuki looked at their phone and said:

“Haha, look at the time. I should go back home. It was nice meeting you, Utsuro. See you around, Rui,” Mizuki said stiffly. Rui said his goodbye and watched as Mizuki walked away, still tense. Rui turned back to his boyfriend with an unimpressed look.

“Aoi, what was that?” Rui gently snapped.

“I don’t like this Mizuki person. You guys are too close,” Aoi said coldly, gripping Rui’s hand a little tighter. It took the purple-haired teenager aback.

“What do you mean too close?” 

“I mean, you guys hugged when you greeted each other! What was that all about, huh?” Aoi was getting mad at him. He was looking at him with a rare angry fire and his jaw was tense. Rui started sweating for some odd reason.

“Um, yes? We hugged each other as friends do? Well, maybe it is odd, but Mizuki and I have gone through a lot together so we’ve grown close. It’s just our way of greeting each other.” Rui scootched back on the bench. His arm was starting to sting a little.

“Is that so?” Aoi’s anger turned silent. It was somehow even more intimidating. 

“Y-yes,” Rui stuttered.

“Don’t do it anymore,” Aoi blankly said, staring right at him.

“Why?” Rui asked, trying to free his hand because it really hurt now. 

“Because it’s too intimate. The only person you should hug is me, your boyfriend.”

“H-how is it intimate?” Rui countered.

“Because friends don’t hug. At least, not guys.”

“That makes no sense. It’s just a hug.” Rui shrugged.

“It’s not just a hug!” Aoi snapped, louder than before. “Look, I don’t want you hugging this Mizuki person again, that’s it. It’s not complicated.” Something in Aoi’s words made Rui have bad shivers. Was he nervous? Why? This was Aoi, he was mad, sure, but it didn’t mean anything, right? They were soulmates, but they could still have disagreements. It just meant that their disagreements wouldn’t make them separate, right? But what if it did? Could he lose his soulmate if he pushed too much? Was that possible? Rui didn’t want to find out.

“O-okay.” Rui gave in. Something in him told him that he had to do as Aoi said. His answer made his boyfriend immediately loosen his grip and drop his intimidating stance. He looked at Rui lovingly, his sky-blue eyes shining with pure affection. All at him. It made Rui wonder if he had just imagined the angry fire that had just been in the other’s eyes.

“I’m sorry for yelling. I got a little angry for some reason. Hey, look at me.” Aoi grabbed his chin. Since when had he looked away? “Don’t look so nervous. I’m sorry. There, there.” Aoi caressed his hair softly. He made them get up and walk out of the restaurant to an empty park nearby. Rui said nothing the whole time, focusing on making his fast heartbeat calm down. They stopped near a large tree and Aoi made them sit down next to each other. He kissed his forehead, cheeks, nose, and lips softly.

“I’m sorry, my dear. I’m so sorry. Forgive me. I didn’t mean to get angry. Just don’t do that again and everything will be okay,” Aoi lovingly said. Rui reddened at the nickname. Aoi kissed his jaw, knuckles, and lips again. 

“I won’t do it again. I didn’t know it was intimate like that. I’m also sorry.” Rui returned the kiss. 

That night, he was in his garage cuddling with Sora and Sagan when he got a text from Mizuki saying how they wanted to talk. Rui dialed their number and they answered immediately.

“Rui, I think your boyfriend hates me,” Mizuki started.

“No, no, it’s not that. I talked to him about it and it hopefully won’t happen again. I’m sorry about that whole situation. Just give him time,” Rui reassured. 

“Are you sure?”

“Certain,” Rui said. They talked for a while until Rui decided to go to sleep for once. 

A week passed and Rui was on cloud nine. Aoi was spending more time with him during school hours and sometimes outside. They always met under the cherry tree at school and kissed under the shades. Rui had learned something once more; Aoi was a regular at the bar they had gone to. He went every Friday and Rui had never known. He only found out when he asked Aoi for another skating date on a random Friday and got told that he couldn’t. When he asked why, feeling a little (a lot) dejected, his boyfriend admitted that he went to that bar every Friday. He told Rui that he could join, but could only have one drink until his tolerance and patience grew. Rui agreed. And thus, his new tradition of going to the bar with Aoi started. 

The next week, Rui was finally ready to bring Aoi to his house. He had told his parents about his boyfriend ever since they started dating, but he hadn’t been ready for them to meet just yet. He didn’t know why, but Aoi meeting his parents felt stressful to him. He was scared that they would embarrass him in front of his boyfriend, maybe bring up some weird childhood stories or something. But, he finally had the courage to make this meeting happen. He knew it had to happen, which was why he invited Aoi to his house on a random Saturday night for dinner. 

And it went great. His parents loved Aoi. They had fun conversations, all four of them. His boyfriend asked about his parent’s jobs, a lot more about his father’s engineering job than his mother’s biology-related one. He talked about his plans for the future, how he wanted to become an aerospace engineer and live in a house with his partner, dog, and probably children. It made Rui blush and his heart go wild. His brain imagined a thousand scenarios about their future in this house with a dog and children. He wanted a cat too, but that could be discussed later. They eventually finished this successful dinner and went to Rui’s garage. They cuddled with Sagan and Sora, talked about robots as usual, and kissed in between topics. They were slightly distracted, so the topics didn’t go very far. Aoi kept looking at Rui with his soft loving sky-blue eyes which never failed to make him melt. 

A month passed without much problem. Every Friday, they went to the bar together, Rui slowly building his alcohol tolerance. He didn’t talk much to the other patrons unlike Aoi, but he still had a fun time despite how it smelled of alcohol and the lights were giving him a headache. Even if he hated the place, he still went because it was an excuse to be with Aoi and engage in the things he liked. Rui tried to engage in many other things in Aoi’s life like his friends. They still hated him, but Rui made an effort to hang out with Aoi and his gang. His boyfriend too made an effort to be civil with Rui’s friend. They hung out with Mizuki another time and it went better. His boyfriend was still a lot quieter than usual, but he was polite and civil. Rui didn’t hug Mizuki when they greeted each other which made his friend take a step back. They had a strained smile for the rest of the day, which made Rui feel obligated to explain later that night. They ‘understood’ and said there were no hard feelings. Something in their voice made Rui’s heart break, but he didn’t know why. He put it aside for now and focussed on living his best life.

Aoi and he often went to the boy’s house after class since it was closer to the school than Rui’s was. They often hung out, did their homework (Rui helped Aoi), watched movies, made dinner, and ate… they sometimes made out on his bed, but that was neither here nor there. Rui eventually met his boyfriend’s mom. She was a petite woman who had dark bags under her eyes, but the sweetest smile he had ever seen on anyone. She had the same sky-blue eyes as her son, with dark brown long hair. He really loved her, even if it was the first time he had met her. She was incredibly kind. He saw her a few times, but only for a few moments as she was a very busy woman.

Aoi had come back to visit Rui’s house a few times, albeit not as many times as Rui came to his house. His parents, Sagan and Sora were always happy to see him. They had a sleepover at his house once and cuddled on his couch. Rui was happy, even if there wasn’t that much space and it had been relatively uncomfortable.

His boyfriend was such a loving, kind, and beautiful soul. Their bond had grown even deeper during the last month and Rui couldn’t be happier. Aoi trusted him completely now. He had shared so much about his past, his ambitions, and what he wanted for his present with Rui. Rui had shared his ambition of wanting to be a director which Aoi hadn’t expected. Even so, the boy encouraged him and asked to see his shows. Rui created one just for him and Aoi treasured it, even if he wasn’t interested in shows. It made Rui want to make more shows for him, but he refrained from doing so because Aoi wasn’t interested in his hobby that much. 

They started writing notes in class and never got caught. Rui pinned a few of them on his wall. He started making cute little robots for his boyfriend and giving them to him. He also showered him with homemade gifts. Aoi gave him many letters that Rui would keep in his first desk drawer. He would often read them before going to sleep. Aoi was good at writing and expressing his love. Every single letter made his heart flutter and go crazy. He had never thought he could love someone like he loved Aoi. 

He had been afraid to tell him. Rui loved Aoi, that was just a fact. They were soulmates, it was normal. But it made him so nervous to outright tell Aoi. His boyfriend had said it so casually one day under the cherry tree before they parted ways to go back home on a random Wednesday. Rui had almost thought he had imagined it. The next day, he had said it again that morning and Rui knew it hadn’t been his imagination. He turned twenty shades of red and couldn’t answer. Two days later, Rui told himself that enough was enough. He would tell Aoi how he really felt and so he did. That morning, under the shade of the cherry tree, the flower bed surrounding them, Rui told Aoi that he loved him and kissed him tenderly. His boyfriend had been so flustered, it made Rui laugh. 

And so, days and weeks passed with Rui feeling so alive. He slept for a whole 8 hours each night, dreams filled with a future full of turquoise hair and sky-blue eyes. He woke up energized and happy to be alive, something he had only started feeling since meeting Aoi. He smiled and laughed freely. He felt like he could finally, finally see himself reach adulthood. Growing up felt like something he couldn’t wait for. Every day was a blessing. All because of his loving boyfriend.

One day, they were in Rui’s garage playing with Sora and Sagan. Well, Aoi was playing with the robots. Rui was busy looking fondly at his boyfriend and daydreaming about their future together. They made eye contact, Rui getting lost in the vast sky that was his eyes. It made his heart flutter as always. Rui approached his boyfriend and kissed him.

“Aoi, there’s something I want to tell you. Will you listen?” he started to say softly.

“Of course, my dear. I’m always happy to hear your voice.” His boyfriend chuckled.

“You know, ever since I was a child, I always had a hard time making friends or just connecting with people. But with you, it just clicked. In middle school, things got so bad. I was bullied and made fun of constantly. Not that that didn’t happen in elementary school, but it just felt ten times worse in middle school.” Rui took a deep breath and looked at the floor. “It was hard. My head was full of dark and scary thoughts and I couldn’t get rid of them. It was hard to get out of bed and go to school. I felt so tired all the time and I didn’t have any energy to take care of myself. That’s why my hair grew long.” He grabbed a strand of his hair. He used to hate it, but Aoi liked it and now, he didn’t. “I used to think I wouldn’t make it out of middle school. Even when I entered high school, I thought I would never make it to adulthood. But now, I see that I will.” He smiled to himself. “With you, I want to see myself grow up and become an adult. I want to experience every day to the fullest with you by my side. I feel happy to get out of bed and see the sunshine. Aoi, my dear, I love you so much. You cannot understand how much I love you.” Rui finally looked up and locked eyes with his boyfriend.

What he saw wasn’t something he expected. The boy was quiet, too quiet. He was looking at him with a weird serious expression that took him aback. Rui’s smile dropped. 

“That’s not normal. There’s something wrong with you.” Rui had never felt so hurt in his life. To hear those words, words that had been thrown at him over and over by his classmates to belittle him, from his boyfriend's mouth, it was unbearable. He couldn’t help but feel tears start to form, but he quickly held them in. His heart was so, so cold. He could feel how his demeanor changed into a sad one. He forced himself to smile. It felt out of place. Aoi must have seen how his words hurt Rui because he immediately went to comfort him.

“That sounded wrong. Ugh, I just mean have you ever considered that there’s something medically wrong with you? Like you had no reason to react that way and think you were gonna die.” Aoi’s words were so, so harsh they made Rui pull away. 

“No… reason?” Rui questioned, his voice starting to shake. 

“Ugh, I keep saying it wrong, but what I mean is that you told me you don’t care about others’ opinions, right?” Rui nodded slowly. “So, um, you had no reason to not get out of bed, you know?” Aoi put a hand on the back of his neck awkwardly. Rui forced himself not to burst into tears right then and there. Sagan saw this and went up to him to cuddle. Rui picked him up and hugged his cat robot tightly.

“Y-you know… sometimes… sometimes it got to me. The whispers and laughter and…” He cut himself off as he saw how uncomfortable it made Aoi. He was stiff and looking at him, uncertain how to handle the situation. Rui hugged Sagan tighter and refocused. He forced another smile on his face and willed the tears away. “I’m sorry. You’re right. There’s something wrong with me. I won’t bring the topic up again,” he mechanically said.

“That’s not what- never mind,” Aoi said and turned to Sora. The air around them was tense. His boyfriend left shortly after. Rui was alone in his garage, hugging Sagan tightly while Sora was at his feet. He let himself cry softly in the fur of his cat-robot, something he had not let himself do in years. He didn’t know why, but Aoi’s words had been like daggers. Poisoned daggers to his heart. He had heard these words time and time again, dammit. Why did he have to cry about it now? 

Rui eventually fell asleep with one thought in mind; he would never tell Aoi about the strings. Aoi wouldn’t understand and he would question Rui. It would hurt to hear those words, words he had heard from those he had trusted enough to tell about the strings, from Aoi’s mouth. He would cry. He couldn’t let himself cry in front of Aoi, that was embarrassing. He drifted off knowing that the two of them being soulmates was his little secret.

They never mentioned that day ever again. Rui never elaborated on his past to him anymore and didn’t plan on it anytime soon. Perhaps eventually, once they would have a home, a cat, a dog, and a few children he would tell him more about his past. But not now. He didn’t want to hear those parroted words from Aoi’s mouth. The wound was so deep, it physically hurt. 

Even if Rui had put this imaginary barrier between them, nothing much changed. Rui was still happy with his boyfriend and they were living their best life. They went skating once more, Rui now having mastered the craft and visited many parks. They still went to the bar on Fridays as usual.

On such a Friday, Rui and Aoi were talking together at the bar. Rui was drinking a cocktail, which he got made fun of for ordering by Aoi. It was his new regular order as it tasted strongly of peaches instead of alcohol. Rui could now tolerate the taste of alcohol, he just didn’t like it and wanted to avoid it if possible. He was sipping on his ‘girly’ drink as the others called it when Aoi had to go to the bathroom. Rui was sitting alone for a little bit when a man, probably in his middle twenties approached him. He had short black hair and dark brown eyes. The man sat down on the seat Aoi had just been in not even five minutes before and looked at him with a certain glint in his eyes that Rui couldn’t decipher.

“You from around here?” the man started, trying to look uninterested. Rui didn’t know if he should answer, but since it was the polite thing to do, he did.

“Um, not exactly.”

“Ah, a tourist like me then?”

“Oh no, I just mean I’m not from this town. I often come here with my boyfriend.” He felt safe enough to disclose that part of himself. A little while ago, Aoi had told him that the specific bar they kept going to was actually secretly a gay bar. And so, all the men there liked other men to some degree, so he didn’t have to pretend to be straight for once. 

“Boyfriend?” The man questioned. “I don’t see him around these parts.”

“Oh, he just went to the bathroom. He should be back soon.” Rui just shrugged, not sure why this man was asking so many questions. 

“He’s taking an awfully long time, don’t you think?” the man said with suspicion and Rui just shrugged. He wasn’t about to question his boyfriend’s toilet habits. It was none of his business. “Why don’t I buy you a drink while we wait?” 

Rui realized he had finished his first cocktail. He didn’t mind the idea of having another one, they were pretty good after all. And a free one? He was in. 

“Are you sure? I can pay for myself,” Rui politely countered. 

“Please, I offered it, no?”

“Alright then.”

Rui turned to the bartender and ordered his little peachy cocktail without any remorse. The guy ordered a gin tonic for himself and paid with his phone. Rui caught a glimpse of the background and couldn’t help but feel excited. This guy was into musicals! Just like Rui! He didn’t know anyone, other than Nene but they were estranged right now, who liked musicals. It was not like his list of close ones was quite big, but still, he really wanted someone to talk to about shows. Aoi and Mizuki weren’t interested. They would listen to his rambles, but it was not the same as having someone to talk to who knew about the subject.

“You’ve seen the play Dear Evan Hansen?” Rui asked, internally trying to keep his cool. 

“Yeah, you too?” the man turned to him, intrigued. 

“Yes, I watched an online version of it in English.”

“So you speak English too?”

And so the floodgates opened. Rui had never talked so openly about shows except for when he was young. This guy, who he learned was called Ichiro, was easy to talk to about many things. He liked shows, traveling, and history. He was from China but was trilingual in Japanese, Mandarin, and English. He had found this bar because it had been recommended to him by a Japanese friend. Rui was so happy he had made a friend with common interests. He internally fist-pumped the air in victory since he had made his second-ever show nerd friend. They had exchanged phone numbers so they could keep in touch again.

He had just finished his second drink and Ichiro had offered to buy him another one when Aoi finally came back. Rui saw a turquoise head and waved at him. His boyfriend seemed to have been talking to someone and had been smiling happily. Until he saw Rui for some reason. His whole demeanor changed. It was reminiscent of when Rui had hugged Mizuki when both important people in his life met. His face was serious and there was no smile on his face anymore. He walked up to Rui and his new friend and snatched Rui’s arm. It surprised both him and Ichiro, but Ichiro’s eyes had a different glint in them. He seemed… interested in what Aoi had just done. Rui was confused about his boyfriend’s reaction who was now dragging him towards the door.

“Aoi, what are you doing?” Rui struggled in his strong grip. He was not amused that he was being dragged away from his friend without an explanation.

“We are leaving,” Aoi said, point blank. It shocked Rui. He was being forcefully dragged out of the bar by his boyfriend, without having said goodbye to his new friend. 

When they finally started walking outside towards the train station, Aoi let him go. Rui snatched his hurt wrist and rubbed the red mark on it to soothe it. He stopped walking, letting Aoi take a few steps before realizing that Rui wasn’t following. The boy glared at him and he glared back with just as much angry fire as the other was giving him. 

“Why did you do that?” Rui sharply said. He wasn’t going to move until he had a clear explanation for these weird actions.

“No, why did  you  do that? Am I not enough?” Aoi said with intense venom.

“What? Of course, you are enough. You are more than enough. What are you talking about?” Rui dropped his angry facade for a confused one. 

“That guy! Why were you talking to that guy?” Aoi raised his voice and approached Rui. Rui unconsciously took a step back. The light of the lamppost over his head seemed to flicker for a bit. 

“Because he approached me? He offered me a drink and we talked about shows for a bit. He’s pretty nice.” Rui tried to calm his nerves. He didn’t understand why he was so on edge just as he had been when Aoi had confronted him about the Mizuki hugging situation. It was not like Aoi would do anything bad, right? Rui supposed he got angry pretty fast and intensely, but that was nothing wrong. Just because Aoi expressed his emotions differently than Rui didn’t mean it was abnormal or dangerous. If anything, the way Rui expressed himself was abnormal; to both his peers and himself (at least from what he observed). 

“Is that so? Did you accept the drink?” There it was again, the silent anger. It meant Rui had said something wrong. He didn’t know what was so wrong, but he had to be careful now.

“…yes,” Rui said truthfully, albeit reluctantly. The burning fire in Aoi’s eyes came back with a vengeance.

“How could you do this to me? Why? Why did you accept? Am I not good enough? Not attractive enough? Not smart enough?” Aoi exploded. He was getting quite angry and his arm movements were aggressive. Every word he said was spat as if Rui had realized he was eating a vegetable. His sky-blue eyes were wide and his jaw was clenched. He was so tense, that Rui wondered if he was feeling any pain.

“Aoi, Aoi, please calm down. It’s none of that. You are more than attractive, smart, or even enough for me. I don’t understand, why are you acting this way?” Rui tried to diffuse the situation.

“Then if not that, then why would you try to get with that guy?” Aoi yelled. It chilled Rui to his core. Why would he try to ‘get with that guy’? Ichiro was his new friend who was interested in shows. He would never get with anyone that wasn’t his soulmate. But, well, Aoi didn’t know that and probably never would. Rui didn’t know where these accusations came from, but he now knew he had to convince his boyfriend that they were unfounded.

“I wasn’t trying to ‘get with that guy’ at all! We were just talking about shows and stuff. He was being friendly to me, that’s it,” Rui said with a frustrated tone. Aoi suddenly stopped looking angry. Perhaps there was something in Rui’s face that made him realize something. The purple-haired teenager hoped he was finally out of his weird funk and would stop being angry.

“Rui.” Aoi said, not using his usual nickname that emphasized the ‘i’. He was serious for some reason. “I realized something bizarre with you. You are smart. Very smart. But only when it comes to academic stuff. When it comes to the matters of the heart, you are clueless. Your emotional intelligence is incredibly low. I might even say that you’re dumb in that department.” Aoi’s words were harsh once more. It hurt. He had never been called dumb before. Rui was a genius! The word ‘dumb’ was never used to describe him. Ever. He had never felt so insulted in his life. People had called him weird, a freak, abnormal, never dumb! 

“How… dare you.” Rui weakly said, willing away the hurt from his voice. 

“You don’t seem to understand other people’s emotions all the time. Not even your own. It’s probably why you were bullied when you were young. It’s not something I blame you for. People are born with different strengths. What I do blame you for is for not wanting to learn. Just like how I have to study more than you at school, you have to learn how to understand people. How to understand emotions. How to understand what you feel.” Rui was stunned like a deer in the headlight. Why was Aoi telling him all of this? No, that was what he had just explained, Rui didn’t understand emotions all the time. 

“I let it slide when you were with your friend. I thought, maybe it was just a misunderstanding and that it was a one-time thing. I started suspecting that you didn’t understand emotions as much as the average Joe when I saw how you were struggling to express yourself to me. You seemed a bit nervous like you wanted to say something. You started showering me with homemade gifts until eventually you finally told me you loved me. It took a few weeks. I even had to encourage you and you took the hint two days later. You seem often confused when I express certain feelings when certain events happen. 

"And now, you seem confused as to why I am angry that you did this. Even though most people would understand why, you are confused. Even though it should be common knowledge that a guy buying a drink for someone at a bar means they want something out of you.” Aoi looked at him straight in the eye as he said his little speech. He seemed calmer, but somehow angrier after each word.

“Want something? Like what?” Rui cluelessly said. He supposed he was proving Aoi’s point. Maybe he was… dumb. Aoi seemed to be internally fuming at his answer.

“…he wanted to get into your pants. There, that clear enough for you, or do I need to explain what that means in medical terms?” Rui almost felt like a toddler being scolded by his parent. He clearly did something wrong, yet he couldn’t understand what. Better yet, he didn’t have the knowledge to know what he did wrong. 

“I know what that means.” He said, ashamed. “I just…. I just thought he wanted to be my friend, you know? Friends buy stuff for friends all the time, right? And I told him I was waiting for you, so I assumed he didn’t want anything romantic. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” He couldn’t look his boyfriend in the eyes. He was a fool. Thinking about it, it made sense. Why would someone want to buy Rui a drink just to be friends? But it also didn’t make sense why anyone would want to get into Rui’s pants. After all, he didn’t understand why someone would want to do that with a freak and weirdo like him. This was confusing him and making his slightly tipsy brain hurt. Was this what normal people felt like when they couldn’t understand a certain subject in school? Did they feel this out of the loop and helpless? 

Maybe he really needed to learn about emotions and social cues better. And then, Aoi wouldn’t be mad at him anymore.

“I’ll let it slide and forgive you for today on one condition.” Aoi’s deep voice resonated through his head.

“Promise me this. 

Promise me that you’ll never leave me.

No matter what. 

Don’t leave me for anyone else.

And don’t leave me, period.

I want you by my side forever.

I love you.

Never doubt my love.

I’ll never stop loving you.

So never stop loving me.”

And Rui promised him all of that. He knew that their love would last forever. He didn’t hesitate. Not one bit. They were soulmates after all. Why would Rui prevent his soulmate from having some peace of mind knowing that Rui would never leave? He couldn’t see the strings. He couldn’t be certain that their love would last if Rui didn’t explicitly tell him.

That calmed Aoi down. He still had a serious look in his eyes, but he was not angry anymore. 

“See you tomorrow then.” The boy turned around and left without looking back. Rui was so shocked he almost didn’t reply.

“See you… tomorrow.” Rui kept watching as his boyfriend’s frame became smaller and smaller. 

That night, Rui didn’t sleep. He was cuddled up to Sagan and Sora, computer on his lap and notebook in hand. He kept searching for clues, about how people expressed themselves, how he could better express himself, and how to understand the world around him. Hours passed, the sun rose and he still couldn’t crack this impossible code. He felt his head hurt, but he kept searching. Psychology article after psychology article, nothing made sense. He got desperate and started searching on less reliable sites like blogs, magazines, and even random threads on social media. Why couldn’t he get it? Why did people feel angry in certain situations? How could he understand why Aoi had felt that way? How could he express his love better? How could he know when people wanted more of him in that way? 

His eyes hurt. He started to see the words on his screen as smaller than they actually were. He felt light-headed and like he was about to pass out, but he had to push on. He hadn’t been a good boyfriend to Aoi. He had made him think he would leave him for some random bar guy. All because he hadn’t gotten the clue that the guy wanted more from him. He needed to be better. For his soulmate, he would be better. That way, on Monday, he would be able to meet Aoi’s expectations. Expectations he should have already met, but didn’t for some reason. 

There was something wrong with him.

He had always hated who he was. He had known deep down inside that he was abnormal. Others had told him, sure, but he had told himself the same thing many times. In elementary school, he had questioned why he had been born this way. In middle school, he had despaired over how he couldn’t connect with his peers because he was so different. He had always known that he struggled when it came to emotions, to understanding others and himself. 

Time and time again, he had wished to change himself. Maybe start over his life. Press a reset button and be someone better. End it all, try again. But, he never actually managed to go through with it. Even when he had been serious about wanting to die, he had managed to fail twice. He wished, oh how he wished he could be someone different. Understand these basic human concepts. Why couldn’t he understand?

Why?

But wishing did nothing. It changed absolutely nothing. Prayers, dreams, and hope meant nothing when he didn’t do anything to attain them. Aoi was right, he could be blamed for his shortcomings. He hadn’t tried hard enough to learn how to understand himself and others. He had been lazy, a coward, a procrastinator. It was his fault. All those around him tried their hardest to correct their faults, yet he stayed the same and just wished them away. 

He could learn.

He had to.

That was why he didn’t sleep the next day either. Only researching and taking notes. He searched the whole web for a clue on how to fix his shortcomings. He had always understood every scientific article he had read, yet these psychology papers were like they were written in another language to him. They were words in Japanese, sometimes English, yet they meant nothing to him when put together in that way. He didn’t understand what empathetic listening meant. Wasn’t that just listening? There were different ways of listening? He now had to pay close attention to others’ body language? He used to do that in a way like he knew immediately when someone hated him or thought of him as weird. But other than that, he had no clue how looking someone in the eye meant they were attracted to you. Was eye contact not just a normal friendly thing to do?

Rui eventually passed out from exhaustion and almost woke up late for school. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and saw how dark the bags under his eyes were. He quickly hid them and applied his red eyeliner. During the whole train ride, he did something he hadn’t done since starting high school, he let his thoughts turn dark again. He felt like a failure. He hadn’t been able to change his behavior, change how he understood himself and others. After all that research, he had still failed. Would Aoi be disappointed? He couldn’t live up to his reasonable expectations. Not yet at least. 

Aoi deserved a better soulmate. 

He probably felt disappointed to be stuck with someone like Rui. 

And Rui couldn’t blame him. 

He was a horrible boyfriend.

Rui slumped down under the cherry tree in their usual spot and waited for his boyfriend. If he even showed up. Rui wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. 

A head of turquoise and steps coming towards his way. Aoi decided to show up at their usual spot. Rui straightened his back and forced a smile. He didn’t get up since he wasn’t sure if Aoi would want a hug or kiss after what Rui had done. He simply greeted him amicably. Aoi sighed and sat down. Sighing was a bad sign. Oh no, had Rui done another faux pas?

“Listen, I’ve taken the weekend to think about things and,” No! Rui had never felt so cold in his entire life. Could soulmates break up? Had Rui messed up that bad? Rui had to hide the dread he felt from showing up on his face. “I’m sorry for having been so harsh with my words.” Rui closed his eyes before realizing what Aoi had said. He was… apologizing. Dammit, why was he apologizing? Now, Rui really knew that his whole two days of constant psychology research had done nothing to change him. He couldn’t ask why Aoi was apologizing. That would just prove that Rui was still stupid. 

“You don’t need to apologize,” Rui carefully started. “You just said the truth after all. You are right, I should try to change myself and try to understand these cues better.”

“Still, I’m sorry I said it that way. I didn’t have to yell.” Aoi approached him and hugged him.

“If you can… um… I mean, if you would be so kind as to give me another chance, I’ll learn. It won’t happen again. I’ll make sure I don’t accidentally make you feel like I would leave you. So please, just give me a chance,” Rui begged. Aoi shifted to look at him in the eyes.

“I'm glad to hear that. I was starting to wonder if you loved me enough or if you were just saying that Friday. I’ll be waiting to see that change implemented soon. Thank you, Ru~ i. I love you.” Aoi kissed his forehead, yet Rui couldn’t help but feel cold. Had he just promised something impossible? No, he would make sure of it. Working day and night to find a way to better himself. He would learn how to ‘empathetically listen’ or ‘read body language’. It was the least he could do for his boyfriend who had to put up with him. 

For the next few weeks, Rui extensively researched every book, article, magazine, nook, and cranny of the Internet to discover how to be relatively more emotionally intelligent. During his research period, he avoided as many people as he could to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally ‘flirt’ or ‘make someone attracted to him’ accidentally. He didn’t want his boyfriend to think he would leave him for someone else. Rui didn’t want to see him angry again if he could do something about it. He didn’t hang out with Aoi and his friends anymore, blocked that guy’s number who had texted him ‘You left pretty quick’ after they left the bar, and didn’t talk to any of his classmates. When there was teamwork to be done, if he could choose, he did it with Aoi, if he couldn’t, his interactions were brief and cold. He made sure to always observe how Aoi was acting for the briefest hint that he had accidentally messed up. He showered his boyfriend with gifts, letters of love, and verbal affirmations about how he would never leave and always love him. 

They met up with Mizuki a few times. Rui was even more careful since Aoi didn’t seem to like Mizuki at all for some reason he had never figured it out. He of course didn’t hug them as a greeting, but he started being careful with his words. He was also careful not to show too much about how happy he was to see his friend just in case. He stopped referring to Mizuki as his rooftop bestie when Aoi was present, stopped all physical contact, and didn’t compliment them anymore. Mizuki’s smile grew strained each time they saw each other. They were… worried for him? They kept asking if everything was alright and why he didn’t do the things he used to. Rui hadn’t told them yet about the bar incident. He was scared of their reaction.

It all fell apart one day.

Rui had decided to invite Aoi to his house to meet his uncles. He knew his boyfriend liked his uncle’s research and was a huge fan of his. He wanted to surprise his boyfriend by making him meet his idol. Rui was excited. He was practically trembling in place as he waited for his uncles and boyfriend to arrive. His room was clean, the table in his dining room was set and dinner was cooking. His uncles arrived first and Rui greeted them warmly. He had missed them a lot. They had been doing research in South Africa for five months and could finally visit him. He was talking with his uncles and parents when he heard the door knock. He ran to open it and saw how beautifully the sun reflected in his boyfriend’s eyes once again. He kissed him and ushered him in with a warm smile. 

He introduced his boyfriend to his uncles and they were happy to meet him. Aoi had sparkly eyes and released the inner fanboy in him. He told his uncle Kazuya all about how he had read every single publication he had made and how he was a big fan. Rui had never seen his uncle so flustered, even more flustered than when Rui had accidentally ’outed him’ when he had been 7. His uncle Hikaru was amused and kept teasing his poor flustered boyfriend. Aoi asked many enthusiastic questions about Kazuya’s new research project, previous research, and other personal non-career-related things. Dinner went well. It was so fun to see how lively the dinner table was and how animated Aoi was. 

His uncles left shortly after dinner since they wanted to go back to their apartment to unwind after their very long trip. Aoi and Rui went back to Rui’s garage to chill with the robots. Something with Aoi changed. He saw it; his body language became tense and he wasn’t smiling anymore.

Shit.

Rui had messed up somewhere during the night.

“Aoi, I’m sorry. Did you not like my surprise? I promise I won’t-“

“That’s not it. I loved the surprise. Thank you for that,” Aoi said sincerely and cracked a faint smile. It made Rui nervously sweat. If not that, then what?

“T-then, what’s wrong?” He couldn’t help but ask. He had been so sure that during the last month, he had improved in his people-reading skills. But he still couldn’t guess what he had done wrong again. 

“When were you going to tell me that your ‘friend’ Akiyama had been your first kiss?” Aoi sharply asked. It took him by surprise. How had Aoi found that information? Even so, he didn’t know it was something he had needed to disclose. It was in the past after all. Mizuki and he hadn’t kissed in a while anyway and their kisses were only to help Mizuki when they were struggling especially badly with their gender identity. Even if he didn’t understand, he needed to make things right and explain as best as he could. Aoi was angry at him again.

“I’m sorry! It’s in the past! I-“

“When were you going to tell me that you were friends with your ex? Did you lie to me about never having dated anyone that one time? Why?” Aoi accused him. Rui didn’t know what to say. He felt cornered, yet none of what Aoi had said had happened. Mizuki and he had never dated. They never would. They were not meant for each other in that way. They were friends, that was it.

But how could he explain that to Aoi who seemed convinced about what he had just said?

“We never dated,” he simply started. “Mizuki and I, we never saw each other that way. Never will. We just had our first kiss to… get it over with in a sense.” Rui sugar-coated the truth. It didn’t seem to appease Aoi.

“I don’t believe you,” Aoi coldly said. “I knew there was something up with the both of you the moment I saw you two interact. That hug, the way you looked happy to see them, how you two talked, it was not friendly. Now I know why. You two dated.”

“Aoi! That’s not true! We never dated and never will! I swear to you!”

“Do you still love them?” 

“In a platonic way! I never loved them like that!” Rui insisted, feeling more and more distressed and like the situation was slipping out of his control like sand.

“So you love them?” There was a dangerous fire in Aoi’s eyes.

“They’re my friend!” That was the wrong answer from what he could gather from the intense anger Aoi displayed.

“You love them? What about me? Why can’t you only love me? You should only love me! Not them, not anyone else! Only me! I should be enough to satisfy you!” Aoi angrily ranted, losing his temper again. 

“Aoi, my love, please listen! You are enough! I didn’t mean it like that! I don’t love them. I’m sorry! Please believe me!” Rui approached his boyfriend cautiously. Maybe if he showed him that he loved him, Aoi would stop being angry. He wrapped his arms around the fuming boy and willed himself to stop shaking from nervousness. He kept repeating how sorry he was and how he didn’t love Mizuki, only him. Forever him. No one else. His boyfriend eventually calmed down and wasn’t about to pop a vein on Rui. 

“You want to know something?” Aoi coldly asked, detaching himself and stepping away.

“…What?”

“For a while now, I’ve been wondering. Wondering if you really loved me. You only started to tell me you love me more often after the bar incident. I feel like I constantly have to tell you stuff, like how it’s not something you should do with ‘friends’ when you’re in a relationship. The hugging incident, the bar incident, now this? What will I find out now? That you sleep with your ‘friend’ sometimes and you think it’s something platonic?” 

“No… I wouldn’t do that.” 

“How should I know?” Aoi snapped. “You don’t seem to have any common sense when it comes to differentiating between platonic and romantic things!” 

That was not true, right? He had only made that mistake once… twice? Three times? How many times? Had he accidentally thought something to be platonic once more when it wasn’t? He knew the difference between friendships and romance! He knew because of the red strings of fate because he recognized what having a crush or feeling romantic love felt like! And he had gotten better too! Yes, he had had some blind spots before, but he had patched those up. 

Right?

“And what’s worse is that I feel like, before the bar incident, I had to always initiate the romantic stuff! You only talk about shows, robots, plants, and nature all the time with me. You kiss me, but not as much as I kiss you. You sometimes invite me to your house, but it’s mostly me who invites you. I text you every morning and night first, tell you I love you, write you letters of love. You only started doing that recently! It’s been 6 months! 6 months since we started dating and 5 since we made it official! I feel like I'm just your friend with benefits, not your boyfriend! Do you even love me?” 

Was that true? Did Aoi truly believe that Rui didn’t love him? But… Rui had thought he had made it clear. Even before he started affirming his love verbally, Rui thought he was expressive enough with his love. Was he not? His boyfriend made him feel safe. Safe to talk about most things, be himself (?) mostly, to show his true (?) colors. He was happy with him. Even so, he had tried to tell Aoi many times the extent of his feelings. Was that not proof enough? 

It clearly wasn’t. No. If it was, then Aoi wouldn’t be mad at him, telling him how he doubted Rui’s love for him. The purple-haired genius knew he loved his boyfriend. He understood that to his core. But Rui was bad at expressing himself most times. So, maybe to himself, he thought he was doing a good job, but to Aoi, he was not. Had he not researched this for weeks? How to express himself better? 

He had to do better.

For Aoi.

“I do love you! Please don’t doubt my love! I swear! Please listen to me! I’m sorry! I’ll do better! I’ll learn! I’ll shower you with gifts, tell you I love you every second of the day if it’s what I need to do to prove it to you!” Rui was getting so desperate that his knees started shaking. He felt weak and powerless like he was trying to destroy a huge boulder with his fists. What could he do or say to make this situation better?

“What I want is for you to stop seeing Akiyama.”

“Eh?”

“You heard me! Stop hanging out and talking to them if you really love me!” Rui felt his heart stop. “I’m tired of being scared that you’ll leave me for them! I’ve seen the way they look at you dammit, even if you are blind to it! It’s them or me, that’s it! I can’t do this anymore!” Aoi was practically screaming.

Rui’s world was crumbling. He didn’t want to choose between the two most important nonfamily member people in his life. He loved them both so much. They were his reason to wake up in the morning. Mizuki had always been there for him just like he had been for them. They had saved him in some way that they would never know. But so had Aoi. 

Aoi was his soulmate.

But if platonic soulmates existed, Mizuki would be his.

But they didn’t. 

So the answer should be easy. Rui should choose Aoi and continue being with his soulmate. He didn’t know the consequences of two soulmates breaking up. Would he end up alone forever, unhappy and depressed? Would they eventually get back together? Maybe, but he didn’t want to test it. 

But his heart hurt. It was splitting in half at the thought of never seeing or talking to his rooftop bestie anymore. He couldn’t choose.

Please don’t make me choose.

He stayed still, feeling his eyes water but holding it in. His lip was starting to wobble, but he bit it to stop himself from doing something stupid. He couldn’t cry now; it would just make Aoi think that Rui didn’t love him. And then…

Aoi would leave him, wouldn’t he? 

Everyone in Rui’s life eventually left. Even his soulmate he supposed. Mizuki hadn’t left yet, but they would soon. So why should he even choose? They would both leave anyway! Rui was destined to be alone! He felt like bursting out in bitter laughter. History would repeat itself, he knew that. Everybody left.

No exceptions.

Nene, Emiko, the random people he met at school

Mizuki

Aoi.

It was a matter of time.

No, what are you saying?  His heart questioned.  Aoi is your soulmate. He won’t leave if you choose him. So, choose him dammit! 

Rui couldn’t get the words out. If he even tried, he knew he would start sobbing uncontrollably. He put his hand to his mouth to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally utter a sound. Aoi was looking at him frustrated. The boy walked towards the door stiffly.

“You have one day. On Monday morning, I want an answer. Me or Akiyama. If I don’t have an answer or if you chose Akiyama, we are through. And I mean it.”Aoi opened the door, stepped out, and slammed it without saying goodbye. Rui stood in his garage, stunned until his weak knees gave out and he fell to the ground. He had never cried that hard in his life. He couldn’t stop the tears and sobs from bursting from him. Sora and Sagan tried to comfort him but it was useless. 

He didn’t want to choose.

Even if he knew he had already chosen.

And well…

Rui had chosen his soulmate.

He passed out with the worst headache and heartache he had ever had. He woke up, eyes hurting, draped a blanket over himself, and sat on his couch with his robots in his lap. He simply sat and rotted for the whole day. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t want to.

Mizuki texted him as they did daily. He didn’t respond. Not until he had a proper plan. He was considering his options. Maybe he could stretch how much time left he had with them. Or maybe it would be less painful to just rip the bandage and stop talking to them just like that. 

No.

That was too cruel. And Rui was selfish. By the end of the day, he decided that he would slowly respond less to Mizuki as the days went on. And when he did respond to them after a certain amount of time, he would be a little more direct. That would be good enough, right? Mizuki would get the hint and…

Who knew? 

They would be mad and feel betrayed. And that was for the best. For once, it would be Rui who would be leaving someone…

But Rui’s mind was sadly set. Or should he say his heart?

Rui answered Mizuki after a day in a cold detached manner. They answered almost immediately and their writing seemed worried. He waited two hours to text them back. On Monday, Rui went to see Aoi under the cherry tree and told him his answer. His boyfriend was happy to hear it but wanted proof. Rui had expected that, so that morning, he had temporarily blocked Mizuki’s number. He knew Aoi wouldn’t agree with Rui’s choice of wanting to prolong the inevitable and would take his decision of slowly distancing himself from Mizuki as Rui saying he didn’t love him. He hadn’t wanted to lie, but this was for his sanity.

And, well, Rui was selfish.

Aoi was satisfied with Rui’s decision and apologized for ever doubting him. And everything was all well and good between the two of them. Rui did his best to be careful with the way he expressed himself. He made sure to invite Aoi to his house more often and initiate any romantic actions he could, told him he loved him as much as he was able to. In the meantime, Rui forced himself to be better. Forced himself to continue his search for how to understand others and express himself better. He learned how to recognize the signs of when people had a romantic attraction towards others. He thought he already knew the signs but was proven wrong. There were many subtle details that he didn’t know indicated that sort of attraction.

In the meanwhile, he slowly but surely was able to smoothly let go of Mizuki. He texted them less and less often and always gave them an excuse as to why he didn’t answer. Mizuki’s answers also got drier and less frequent. It seemed his plan was going well. He should be glad.

Why did his heart ache like that?

As the days went by, two dominant emotions washed over his heart. Happiness that his relationship with Aoi was going so well… but intense sadness that his friendship with Mizuki was fading away. He got less and less sleep and less and less energy. It was not even close to the low level of energy he had when he was in middle school, but it was significantly less. He sometimes didn’t feel like eating, but that was very rare. Not at all like when he had been unable to taste meals or even have the energy to get out of bed. 

After two weeks of that song and dance of trying to slowly let go of Mizuki, he received a call late at night. Rui answered without looking as he was groggy 

“Hello?” He tried to sound as if he had been awake but failed. 

“Rui Kamishiro!” A voice he knew quite well yelled into the phone. “I’ve tolerated your bullshit for a while now and I’m sick of it! Explain to me right now why you won’t text me like you used to or even want to see me!” 

“Ah, Mizuki, um, I thought I told you it was because I was busy,” he lied, making himself sit on his couch with his robots asleep on his lap.

“Cut the crap!” they snapped. “Rui, tell me the truth. Is it… your boyfriend? Does he want us to stop talking?” Mizuki’s voice softened. Rui was shocked that they figured it out. He didn’t know whether or not to continue going with the lie or just tell them the truth. It was not like the result would change. In the end, their friendship would end. There was no changing that sadly. Rui had made his choice the second he met his soulmate.

“Rui… listen. I just…” They went silent for a few minutes and Rui let them figure out their words. He could at least give them that. “What happened to you? Ever since you met that guy, you’ve changed… and for the worse. You stopped hugging me which was fine, then you slowly changed your behavior around me to be more guarded, then you stopped complimenting my outfits, now you won’t reply to me? I know Utsuro had something to do with it.”

“Mizuki, it’s not-“

“I don’t want to hear lies or you defending him,” they sharply cut him. “I know it’s him. I’ve been acting nice for too long and I’m sorry. I should have acted before but I was scared of how you would react since this is your first relationship and you seemed happy.” What were they talking about?

“Wha-“

“Rui, that guy, he’s not good for you,” Mizuki simply said. And their words cut harshly. It made Rui feel an intense burning rage. How dare they say such a thing? About his soulmate? They didn’t know anything! Not about relationships, not about what’s good for him, and especially not about soulmates. Rui was fuming. He had made the right choice and he didn’t regret it now.

“Don’t you dare say such a thing! What do you know, huh? Aoi and I are doing great! He’s good for me, no, he’s perfect. Why would you say that?” Rui spat, gripping his phone tightly.

“Listen to me. You’re not thinking straight and you’re blind to his manipulation. Aoi is manipulating you. He’s trying to isolate you. The only reason he wants us to stop being friends is because he was jealous of me. He wants to control you.” Mizuki’s voice became sharper with every sentence. These accusations made Rui’s blood boil.

“You’re just saying things! He loves me. He wants what’s best for me. He’s not doing any of those horrible things! Aoi is nice and kind and smart and not anything you accused him of!” He gritted his teeth.

“He is! You’re too loveblind to see it! He’s super jealous of how close you and I are even if we are just friends and now he wants to separate us to have you all to himself. I won’t allow that! You’re my friend and I don’t want us to stop that. Especially not because of him.”

“Shut up! I am not loveblind! You’re just inventing stuff about him and I won’t let you slander his name. What’s Aoi done to you to deserve such treatment, huh?” Rui was too agitated. He shrugged his robots out of his lap and started stomping in circles in his room. 

“You want to know? You want proof, lover boy?” they mocked.

“Yeah, I won’t let you accuse him of such false things for no reason.”

“Alright then, let’s see. How about from the very beginning when you introduced me to him and he glared at me and was super cold?”

“Mizuki, we went through this. I talked to him about it and it was all a misunderstanding. He never did that again. He was nice to you.”

“No, he just looked nice to me when you were looking. When you were turned around, he kept glaring at me threateningly. He hates me for no reason. When you left us alone one time to go to the bathroom, he actually threatened to hurt me if I ever tried to take you away from him or whatever. About two months ago, I received a threatening message on Nightcord from someone called Soraingtheskyz saying they knew my address and would come to kill me and my family if I didn’t stop being friends with you. I ignored and blocked them then I got another similar threat a day later from a different account. I blocked them again but they kept contacting me. They wrote out my address in one message just to prove it was legit. They started telling me super personal details about myself like what school I went to, the name of my parents and sister, my assigned gender at birth, and stuff like that. 

I went to see my sister because I was scared and she helped me a lot. We contacted the police and they couldn’t trace the person, but I already knew who it was. It was Utsuro, there was no doubt about it. But I didn’t have any proof, so I could do nothing. They were just threats so the police couldn’t do anything either. The day before you started being dry with me, my sister called me in panic saying that some guy with turquoise hair and blue eyes showed up at our door asking to see me. My sister told him that I wasn’t home and he insisted on staying there until I came back, but my sister asked him to leave. He didn’t budge until my sister called the police and he left before they arrived. I was lucky that I was out shopping and that he didn’t do anything to my sister.”

Silence. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Why was Mizuki fabricating such a story? Did they really hate Aoi so much for some reason? Had Aoi been right about Mizuki after all? Did they…

“You’re lying and I don’t know why. Aoi wouldn’t do that. That’s crazy.”

“I know it sounds insane, but it’s true. Rui, please listen to me! You’re my bestie and I don’t want you to get hurt. Especially when the threat of you getting hurt and possibly dying is now very real. You need to leave him, pronto. He’s dangerous. Please! You have to listen!” They were begging him now for some reason. The audacity they had to beg for Rui to listen to their insane ramblings and accusations. 

“I will never do that! Are you crazy? Why do you want me to leave my boyfriend when things are going so well? Why are you doing this?”

“Rui, please listen! You have to leave! He’s dangerous! He’s obsessed and he’ll hurt you! Badly!” Their voice was shaky with emotions.

“No!” Rui snapped. “I won’t do that! I love him and he loves me. Are you trying to break us apart? Why? Shouldn’t you be happy for us?”

“And I am happy that you’re finally happy!” they desperately said.

“Then why are you trying to take this away from me?”

“Because he’s-“

“Are you jealous?” he cut them.

“What?”

“Are you jealous that I finally have a relationship with someone when you don’t? Is it because you believe that you can’t have one of your own and now you try to sabotage me? Like crabs in a bucket, am I right?” He coldly accused.

“Where the hell is this coming from? That’s not it at all! I’m warning you because I’m concerned about you and I don’t want you getting hurt!”

“That’s a lie. You don’t care because if you did, you wouldn’t do this. Aoi is not like that, he would never hurt me or anyone else.”

“For such a genius, you really are dumb. This is why I didn’t want to intervene in the first place. I knew it would hurt our friendship.” Again with someone calling him dumb! Rui was a genius! Why was he called dumb by the two most important people in his life? No, not anymore. Mizuki was not important to him anymore. They were dead to him.

“Don’t call me dumb!” he snapped. “You shouldn’t have said anything, you’re right! I don’t want to see or talk to you ever again!”

“...I miss my rooftop bestie. Where did he go?” Their heartbroken voice echoed in his head. It shook him to his core. Where had he gone? He was right here, right?

Right.

“Text or call me when you start listening to that big brain of yours instead of your lovesick heart. See you.” They ended the call without giving Rui the time to answer. 

Well, mission accomplished. He had let go of Mizuki just like he had been trying to do for the past few weeks. He had done a good job. They wouldn’t be sad that he left them anymore since they left on bad terms. They would hate him and move on. They would be happier without Rui. This was for the best. Aoi wanted what was best for him and Rui knew that. He had been right to some degree about Mizuki. They were some sort of menace to their relationship and wanted to break them off. What a friend they were. This was the right decision, right?

Right.

I hope you won’t regret this.  A whisper in the back of his mind said. 

Of course, he had made the right decision. Aoi would be happy, and so would Rui. Eventually. Right now, he felt a surge of a negative cocktail of emotions. He threw his phone harshly on the floor, stomped his feet, and kicked his desk. It hurt so bad but not as bad as his heart. His head felt like it was about to explode. His eyes too. His jaw was so tense that he felt like his teeth were going to crack. His fists were white from how hard he was gripping them. He kept kicking random things, the carpet, the bookshelf, random books, and robots. Sagan and Sora stayed out of his way, sensing that he was unstable and could possibly accidentally hurt them. They looked worried though. 

He tripped and fell to the ground in his rage. He didn’t feel like getting up anymore so he started hitting the ground to try to rid himself of the rage he felt inside. He hit and hit and hit and hit and hit. Until he felt so much pain in his bruised knuckles that he had to sob. His breathing had been restricted this whole time, amplifying his feeling of exploding. He looked at his now slightly bleeding hand and couldn’t contain himself anymore.

It started with a sob, another, then a few tears. He couldn't control himself anymore. He started crying loudly. Tears and tears and tears kept running down. Sagan and Sora finally deemed him not a threat to their safety anymore and approached him to rub his tears away with their fluffy heads. It didn’t help at all. They kept streaming like a waterfall, uncontrollably so. His cries were so loud that his throat started to hurt at some point. He eventually passed out from exhaustion.

The next day, he woke up feeling abnormal and like nothing was real. He felt cold yet not enough to get a blanket. He felt sad, yet not enough to cry. He felt happy because he knew he would get to see Aoi that day, yet not enough to smile. He felt tired, yet not enough to sleep. It was strange. 

He forcefully got up from the floor where he had passed out. He looked like a mess with his bloodshot eyes, dry tear tracks, and messy hair. Rui went to put water on his face and brush his long hair which Aoi liked so much. He went to school to see his boyfriend and his weird mood completely changed. He felt energized, cheerful, and in love. 

For the next few months, Rui was in a weird funk. At home, he felt numb and like a part of his soul had been ripped apart while when he was with Aoi, all those feelings were gone and he just felt happy. Sure, he also made sure to be careful and apply his knowledge of how to express himself and know what others around him felt from their body language, but he had become almost an expert at that sort of thing during these months. He could tell who had a crush on whom with certainty even if they were subtle about it while before he could only tell because of the strings and if he really tried to pay attention like when he had discovered Emiko had a crush on her soulmate. 

He tried to spend as much time with Aoi as possible. He wanted to be happy. Happiness was like a drug. Without it, he felt like nothing in his life was going well. But with Aoi, all his bad thoughts were gone. His boyfriend showered him with love and affection and he did the same to him. It seemed like their relationship had improved since Rui had let go of Mizuki. That was good. That was what he had wanted, right?

Right.

Eventually, fall turned to winter and winter to spring. Aoi’s birthday was coming up and he created a copy of Sora to give to him since his boyfriend loved the fox robot so much. Rui also booked a special trip to Hokkaido, just the two of them. He had planned and paid for the entire trip for them during their spring break. The purple-haired boy had to start his own illegal robot-selling business on Facebook Marketplace to make enough money to pay for the trip and also keep his mind from spiraling when Aoi wasn’t around. For some odd reason, it became a hit during the three months he had opened his Facebook page. He decided to close it soon after it became viral on social media so that the authorities wouldn’t crack down on it. He had advertised it as a request for your robot thing and had gotten some suspicious orders. 

All and all, his hard work had paid off and he was able to pay for his few day's trip with Aoi and even more. He told his lover to keep his whole spring break free but wouldn’t tell him why. It was a surprise after all. He simply told him they were going somewhere. Rui got permission from both his parents and Aoi’s Mom. This was going to be the best surprise ever. 

Spring break finally came around and he packed for the trip. He asked Aoi to pack his bag for three days and two nights. The weather was going to be perfect and it wasn’t going to be too cold. On the morning of the first day of the break, he rode the train and walked to Aoi’s house. It was early, but he knew Aoi would be ready although quite groggy. He could sleep on the bus if he wanted, but they needed to board before. Once his boyfriend opened the door, Rui grabbed his hand and bag and pulled him along to their destination. Aoi chuckled lightly at his enthusiasm and let himself be dragged along by Rui.

They arrived ten minutes early and waited at the bus stop. Rui gave him his ticket and they talked a bit. Well, Rui talked and Aoi listened. It was too early for Aoi to reply much. He really was a night owl unable to wake up in the mornings. It was adorable how out of it and sleepy he looked in the morning. His boyfriend kept mumbling his answers and yawning, making Rui smile just a little bit brighter each time. 

They boarded the bus and got a seat. Aoi almost immediately fell asleep on his shoulder. Rui busied himself with a book on fiber optics until their stop. He finished half of the book before they reached their stop and had to board a boat. He shook his boyfriend awake who was adorably snuggled up on his shoulder. The boat ride took almost two hours and Aoi didn’t nap through the whole thing this time. He instead observed the water with Rui the whole time. They kept nerding out about the different fishes and rocks they got to see. 

After one last bus ride, they walked to the hotel they would be staying at. Rui had brought his fake ID just for the occasion, so he got to book the place in advance. It was a very modern hotel with an indoor pool and a big window. They went to put their bags in their room and Rui was glad his reservation hadn’t gotten changed when the receptionist saw that they were two boys. 

Rui grabbed his boyfriend’s arm and dragged him into the streets of Furano, the town Rui had decided they would visit. First destination, looking around. The streets were relatively peaceful and they got to see the houses and small shops. It was truly a small mostly full of farms town. They went to eat at a random ramen shop, Rui as usual giving his vegetables to Aoi who rolled his eyes and ate them without protest. 

After their meal, Rui took them to a beautiful flower field. It was a farm full of symmetrical rows of colorful tulips and lavender. Rows of orange, purple, red, pink, blue, yellow, and white were placed in front of them. They crouched down to observe the flowers and little fauna living in such a magnificent field. Aoi’s eyes were shining in marvel at the beauty. Rui's eyes kept wandering between the blue-purplish lavender flowers and his boyfriend’s sky-blue sparkly eyes. 

They stayed in the sunny colorful field for the whole afternoon identifying insects and flowers. They took many pictures together, smiling and laughing. His boyfriend was beautiful, he would treasure these new pictures just like the many others he had for the rest of his life. They lay down near the field so as to not disturb the flowers and insects and just enjoyed each other's company. Their hands were in each other’s as they simply listened to the sounds of the birds chirping and the buzzing of the cicadas. At some point, Aoi started pointing out the different clouds and what they made him think of. A cat-shaped one if you squinted, a circle, a spoon if you used your imagination… a heart. Rui’s eyes kept their gaze on the heart-shaped one. It made him feel fuzzy inside to see something so romantic while in the presence of the one he loved. The cloud eventually seemed to break in half and Rui’s eyes wandered to the one beside him. He was excitedly pointing at the clouds with a beautiful smile that was conveyed in his voice. His happiness was contagious.

They eventually got to go eat once more. Rui took them to a fancier restaurant where they served Sashimi. The enthusiastic student had fun eating only meat and no vegetables. It was a bit pricey, but that was the reason Rui had worked so hard with his illegal robot business. He could afford to treat his boyfriend and himself to a nice dinner. It had been quite delicious and they had a great time eating.

Their last destination for the first day was a little market full of tiny cottages and workshops. It was in the middle of the woods and there were little lights on the wooden boardwalk and rooftops of the cottages. They walked around looking at the shops that sold handmade crafts. They stopped and looked at the different objects until eventually, something caught Rui’s eye. It was a small heart-shaped keychain. It was made of metal and painted in red. Honestly, there was not much special about it, so Rui didn’t know why his eyes lingered on it. Aoi saw this and bought it for him. Rui didn’t even have the time to refuse and the keychain was in his hand. It was too late to refuse. He couldn’t help the blush that spread on his face when Aoi smiled and told him it was a souvenir for their trip. He felt so cheesy, but he treasured it. He put it in his pocket and smiled before they continued their visit around the workshops, ignoring the little old lady who had sold them the keychain’s weird stare. The moon was shining beautifully in the sky and they could feel the refreshing breeze of spring. 

They eventually went back to the hotel and fell asleep in the double bed of the room wrapped in each other’s embrace as they did when they had sleepovers. Rui always fell asleep fast and comfortably. He felt cozy and safe wrapped in the arms of the one he loved, head resting in the crook of his neck. 

The next morning, he woke up early and refreshed. Aoi was never awake before him, so he simply stayed cuddled up to him for a little bit until he decided to get prepared for the day. He only let his hair unbrushed because Aoi liked to brush it for him. He went back to sit next to his sleeping lover and finished his reading on fiber optics. Aoi eventually woke up and decided he didn’t want to get out of bed as usual until he got his good morning kiss. Well, Rui was more than happy to indulge him and shower him with affection. 

For their second day, Rui brought them to get breakfast and then to a spot where they could see Mount Tokashi. It was truly a beautiful volcano even though it was active and could eventually be dangerous. There was a beautiful cloud of white smoke coming out of the top of it and they sat at the little spot Rui had found to watch it for a little bit. They eventually left to go to a winery.

Rui didn’t like wine much, but Aoi seemed to like anything that was alcohol. They visited the factory and got to taste some free samples. Rui hated every single one as he could taste the bitterness of the fermented grapes. Aoi seemed to enjoy it though and that was all that mattered. 

The couple then went to see a local farm. They first got to observe the beautiful agricultural fields where they grew wheat and barley. The farm produced mostly animal products and meat which was sad to think about. It was also used for tourism as it was relatively small. Rui and his boyfriend got to see the funny cows and their babies. They were all standing up which meant it would be a day without rain. Well, Rui already knew that because there were barely any clouds in the sky. He petted a baby cow and got glared at by its mama. They moved on to see some chickens and chicks. The chicks were very vocal with their chirps but still adorable. The chickens were running around with their thin but strong legs and plucking the ground just like the chicks. He tried approaching some of them but they ran away. They moved on to see the pigs and Rui got to pet a few of them. He even petted a baby one and his heart melted. They saw goats, a rooster, a donkey, and a horse. Rui got to pet and Aoi brushed the horse’s mane. 

Finally, their trip ended in front of the sheep’s pen. There were many white sheep, two greys, one black and one brown. Rui had never seen sheep of any other color than white before in real life. It impressed him. He spends way too much time petting the brown sheep. Aoi took many pictures of him and joined him in petting the beautiful brown sheep. At some point, the purple-haired boy felt something on his leg. He looked down and saw an adorable black lamb rubbing its small head onto his leg. His heart exploded with cuteness and he immediately crouched down to pet this cute little mammal. The lamb seemed to enjoy the pets and aggressively demanded more like a cat. His heart couldn’t take the cuteness anymore and he almost shed a tear. He didn’t know why he was so in love with this tiny animal, but he wanted to bring it home with him now even if he couldn’t. He told Aoi that maybe he should sneak the little guy out and his boyfriend turned down his idea. He sat down on the ground and the little guy climbed into his lap and buried his face in his chest. He was now officially a father to a lamb and he couldn’t have asked for a better gift in his life. Aoi crouched down and petted the little lamb. They eventually had to leave and Rui heartbreakingly left his new child at the farm. He shed a few tears internally and whined to Aoi about how cruel he was for not helping him sneak out the little lamb with them to bring home. 

They ate once more and went to a bar to finish the day off. Rui got his ‘girly’ little cocktail and Aoi got tonic and gin. They went back to the hotel and kissed until they fell asleep in each other’s arms. The next day, they went back home.

Rui had an idea. He was still hung up over the fact that he couldn’t bring the little black lamb home. He wanted his child and so, he started drawing plans to create a black lamb robot with the same system as Sagan and Sora. For the next two days, Rui built his robot lamb without break. He was determined to have his child back and no one would deter him. And he did. He had successfully created his new black lamb robot. He used actual black wool to create its coat so it would have the same texture as the real lamb that was still at the Furano farm. He called it Suiteki because Rui had almost cried at how cute it was.

Suiteki was adorable. It demanded affection just like Sagan and Sora and always wanted to be on his lap. It could imitate the sound of lambs which was a high-pitched ‘baa’. It was a lamb, Rui’s child. He cried tears of joy when it first activated. He introduced it to Sagan and Sora and hoped they would get along. During the next few days, the three robots played together in harmony. But it was a weird dynamic. 

When it had simply been Sagan and Sora, the two were practically inseparable. But now, sometimes Rui walked into his garage to only see Sora and Suiteki, no Sagan in sight. Sagan would then emerge from somewhere and join the two others. He rarely saw only Sagan and Sora or only Sagan and Suiteki. It happened, but not as often as simply Sora and Suiteki. It was not like the two other robots were rejecting the cat, not at all. They would often include it in their games and they liked it a lot. But it just seemed like Sora and Suiteki were hitting it off a lot more. When Sora and Suiteki looked to be playing together, Rui saw that Sagan looked a little down, but would still join them. 

He decided that he was going to pay closer attention to the cat robot in the next few days. For now, a new school semester was about to start again and Rui was excited to see his boyfriend the next day.

Chapter Text

Rui Kamishiro had been sixteen years old when his heart shattered into a million pieces.

After their wonderful spring break together, Rui entered the hall of Tensaikou looking for his lovely boyfriend. They had sadly been assigned to different classes for this school year, but the purple-haired student wasn’t worried. They would see each other during breaks, lunch, and after school. Sure, it would be impossible to stare at him during class or pass notes, but that was okay. Besides, Rui’s thoughts were always filled with turquoise hair and sky-blue eyes these days. 

He saw him, waiting near their usual spot near the running tracks. Rui ran up to him and kissed him in the shades. Aoi returned his kiss with enthusiasm and they pulled away smiling, the taste of mint still lingering in his mouth. Rui giggled and put his chin on his shoulder, embracing the warmth of his boyfriend. 

“What’s this all about?” Aoi laughed.

“I just enjoy seeing you, is that so wrong?” Rui answered, feeling his heart flutter.

“Of course not. I enjoy seeing you too.” His beautiful lover put his hand in his hair and brushed it just as he liked. His eyes slowly closed. It was so soothing, his touch, the pleasant smell of pine, and the rhythm of his calming breaths. Even to this day, he couldn’t believe he was so lucky to have a boyfriend like him. so caring, thoughtful, loving. Rui’s stomach always had butterflies when he smiled or laughed.

They eventually parted from the embrace and looked at each other. Aoi’s eyes were so soft and full of love. All of that emotion was directed at him. It never failed to make him melt. The bell rang and they sadly had to separate to go to their new classroom. 

He never paid attention to what the teacher said. Instead, he looked at the window in the general direction of their spot and sighed dreamily. He couldn’t exactly see the spot as it was hidden from most windows at school. He could still see the garden beds close to it. He wondered if Aoi could see the garden from the window in his class too. Was he thinking of him as he was of him? Probably. Rui couldn’t help it. He wanted to hold his hand all the time, kiss him in the shades as always, and spend every waking moment with him. The class could not pass slower without his boyfriend next to him. 

The bell rang to signal the end of class. He immediately packed his things to go join his boyfriend. Even so, he was far too slow; every second without him was time wasted. He felt floaty about seeing him again.

When he opened the door, he saw turquoise hair standing next to an unfamiliar head of cyan. But what scared him was what was between them. 

Red.

Red, no.

Please no.

I love him, he was my soulmate why?

His heart shattered. It was pain like no other. The two students were talking and laughing with each other. Each little happy twitch from Aoi when the girl did anything stabbed daggers into his chest. He felt himself turn freezing cold and his eyes lose their light. He quickly turned away and went to their usual spot, hidden from everyone. 

The heartbroken teenager crumbled on his knees near the tree. He felt like he was back in middle school or elementary school, alone. The cracks in his heart that had disappeared because of Aoi’s love reappeared and new ones were forming. He wanted to numb himself and never feel again. 

Why couldn’t he have one good thing in his life? Why did good things always have to come to an end? Why wasn’t Aoi his soulmate? Why did it hurt? 

He really didn’t want to cry as his heart was shattering into a million tiny pieces. He couldn’t cry as tears formed in his eyes. 

He took a few deep breaths and tried to think rationally about this. He just saw Aoi’s red string. Full red string. Attached to another. 

Just that thought almost made him shut down again. He recentered himself and continued his analysis of the situation. Aoi’s string was full. Okay. That meant the girl with the cyan hair was his soulmate. It made sense that his soulmate was a girl; he was bisexual so it could have been both binary gender. But… Rui had really believed it was him. The string had pointed towards him all the times he had glanced at it, so why?

It would be easier for Aoi. If he ended up with a girl, he would be able to marry her, have biological children that are both of theirs and overall have a less difficult life. It was better this way. He deserved better than lonely, weird Rui anyway. Rui only seeped away at his love and light. He was greedy like that. Rui was not a good person or boyfriend. He had been arrogant to think they were soulmates; he didn’t deserve someone as wonderful as Aoi… 

He was spiraling and couldn’t regain control. His last ditch attempt at staying in control was to go somewhere he hadn’t gone since starting high school: the rooftop. It was his safe place. He needed a breather. Their spot was no longer as safe and comforting as it was. 

The warmer spring breeze was hitting his hair. He put his hand on the fence and looked downwards. It was peaceful. The metal was cold to the touch, it reminded him of himself. Cold, numb. The birds were singing, the sun was shining and the tree leaves were swooshing. It was a beautiful day. And yet, it was wasted. 

Rui had decided to skip his next class to recompose himself. Usually, he would at least keep up a front of being a good student since skipping was really frowned upon, but he couldn’t bother. His head was too much of a mess, he would risk bursting into tears for no good reason. That would be twice as humiliating as being scolded for skipping class. 

His thoughts were still full of turquoise hair and sky-blue eyes, but now it hurt. He needed to stop thinking of him. They might as well be over.

Or they could still be together. 

Aoi had told him that he loved him. It was true. And Rui loved him too. Maybe, just maybe, their love could withstand fate. What was fate anyway, just a concept made by humans. The future wasn’t set in stone, he had free will. Aoi could choose him over his soulmate. No, his boyfriend would. The past year must have meant something. And besides, Rui could try to intervene. Maybe it was selfish, no it definitely was, but Rui wanted to keep his boyfriend, even if it meant the boy wouldn’t end up with his soulmate. So the lonely student made a decision, he would remain with Aoi and try to change fate by separating these two soulmates. He deserved happiness for once, dammit. 

Now, he wasn’t exactly sure how he would be able to separate them and make sure they never end up together. He first needed to gather information on her. He would ask Aoi or maybe his lover would introduce him. After that, he would figure it out. In the meantime, Rui decided to lay low. If Aoi and that girl ended up getting a little too close, Rui could ask Aoi to fall back. His boyfriend would understand, he was certain.

Rui trusted him and believed in their love. 

The bell rang and he decided to face the storm. His head was far clearer and he wanted to see his boyfriend. The purple-haired genius walked to the boy’s class and waved at him ‘happily’. Aoi was still talking to that girl, but saw him this time and waved at him to approach them. The girl looked at him kindly and smiled softly. She was a head smaller than him, so he could see how shiny her long, cyan, wavy hair was. She didn’t look at him with disgust or judgment, she looked kind and happy to meet him. It was bizarre. 

“Ru~i, where were you? You usually always come to see me during breaks,” Aoi asked, looking at him confused. 

“My bad~ The teacher caught me not paying attention and scolded me. Fufu~ They should know it’s pointless.” Rui fake laughed.

“Seriously, just pay attention.” Aoi rolled his eyes playfully. “Oh, Ru~i, this is Katie Bailey, a transfer student from England.”

“Hello, nice to meet you,” she said with a slight English accent. “I have recently moved here, so I don’t know anyone. Aoi was kind enough to talk to me and tell me a bit about life in Japan.” Were the two of them already on a first-name basis? How were they moving so fast? Was Rui already too late and had lost Aoi to some English girl? He was going internally crazy, screaming in his head and crying. He plastered on a smile. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Bailey. I’m Rui Kamishiro, Aoi’s-”

“He’s my friend and we were in the same class last year,” Aoi cut him off. Rui looked at him skeptically. They were not ‘friends’. But, the yellow-eyed boy supposed it made sense to be introduced that way to someone new. He didn’t know if she was against such relationships and if she would tell others. He thought English people were mostly okay with gay people since homosexual marriage was legalized there, but what did he know? He had never been to England. 

“Oh! That’s nice! I hope we can get along.” She smiled and he couldn’t help but return it for real. For the rest of the lunch break, the trio went outside to eat their lunch in the schoolyard. Rui got to know Katie a little better. She asked them to call her Kat since that was how everyone used to refer to her in England. Nicknames were far more common there, even if you barely knew the person. Rui had been hesitant, but he complied with the request. He found out that Kat had moved to Japan after her father had found a job here in an international company. Her father and mother got divorced recently and she went to live with her father for a while. She was half Japanese and half British, her father being Japanese, which was why she was mostly fluent in the language already. Since the cyan-haired girl had been here for two months already and had been taught the language a little bit when she was younger, her pronunciation was pretty good and Rui was impressed. She was bilingual in the same two languages as him. Kat was a cheerful and fun person to hang out with. He really wanted to be her friend, and not just to keep her away from his boyfriend. She was a genuinely nice person who was interested in the things Rui talked about. She asked questions about his hobbies and other things in life and listened intently. This girl really wanted to know him and he really wanted to know her. It was like they had instantly become friends during that lunch break. He usually never clicked that hard with people instantly. Sure, he had befriended Nene when he was younger, but it took time. With Mizuki, it had also taken a few visits to the rooftop to really call them a friend. With Aoi, well, it had been different since they had grown closer. With Kat, it felt like conversation just flowed easily and her charisma drew him in.

Rui immediately knew that this would hurt. Kat was kind, beautiful, funny. She was perfect, perfect for Aoi. His boyfriend deserved such a nice girlfriend, but Rui was selfish. He wanted to cling to his happiness for as long as he could, even if it meant separating them for a bit. Maybe forever, if he could.

The next day, he was about to meet up with his boyfriend at their usual spot, when he also saw Kat talking to him. They were behind the big cherry tree next to the garden beds and Kat had a big smile. He approached them with a fake smile and waved. They greeted him nicely and he joined their conversation. Rui felt his fake smile suddenly turn into a real one as they talked about random things. They went to class and separated, Aoi and Kat going together and continuing to talk. A small part of his heart squeezed as he saw them smile at each other. It was a friendly smile, nothing more, but still, it made Rui feel slight pain. He immediately looked away and walked towards his classroom.

During the break, Rui was actually held back by a teacher. It was the teacher who taught the class he had skipped the day before. They scolded him and gave him detention for the Friday that was coming. Rui grumbled to himself at the teacher’s punishment. Fridays were important for him and Aoi, that was why he didn’t try to get into any kind of trouble. Damnit, this was all Kat’s fault. But it really wasn’t. She had done nothing wrong but exist and be Aoi’s soulmate. He shouldn’t have overreacted. Now, he was going to pay the price.

The next time he saw his boyfriend, it was during the lunch break. Rui had to either find a way to get out of detention or a way to tell Aoi that he would be unable to go to their usual bar meetings that Friday. He would have preferred to get out of detention, but that teacher in particular was known to be strict and would likely not let him go scott-free. So he sighed internally and accepted his defeat. It was just one Friday. Aoi wouldn’t be mad that he couldn’t go to one of their outings on Friday, especially since he had detention.

But Rui couldn’t tell him why he had detention. He had already lied once and said that he had been held back by a teacher, he couldn’t go back on his words and say that he had actually skipped class because he had found out that Aoi had a soulmate that wasn’t him. Besides, his boyfriend didn’t know about the red strings and never would because Rui didn’t want him to doubt him. His story wouldn’t make any sense to him. 

So, Rui used his genius brain to come up with a convincing lie as to why he had been put in detention. They were eating with Kat and talking about the differences between England and Japan when Rui decided to breech the subject. 

“By the way Aoi, I just wanted to tell you that I won’t make it on Friday.” There, he said it. Aoi looked at him suspiciously.

“How come?”

“Eh, Friday? What were you guys doing on Friday? Hanging out?” Kat jumped in on their conversation. Rui didn’t know what to say and he didn’t have to because Aoi decided to intervene.

“Rui and I were going roller skating together as we do on Fridays, you know?” the sky-eyed boy lied. It made sense that he wouldn’t tell her about where they were actually going since she would most likely take them for delinquents. Rui was no delinquent! Just because he had an illegal hobby with his boyfriend didn’t make him a bad person, right? 

“Roller skating? I love roller skating! I used to do that all the time with my Mom in England. There was this roller skating ring close to my house where we would always go,” she started retelling with stars in her eyes. Then, her demeanor changed a bit. “Damn, I kinda miss it, huh?” She looked down. Rui felt bad for her. She must be homesick already. He couldn’t imagine ever leaving Japan or at least for long like that, especially if he left one parent behind. He loved his mother too much to do that to her. 

Rui put a soothing arm on her shoulder and she looked at him. He smiled softly.

“Hey, I know it’s not gonna make you feel less homesick, but maybe you could come with us to the roller skating ring around here sometime,” Rui suggested. Kat looked a little less sad.

“I’d love that. I’m sorry souring the mood on you right there.” She laughed awkwardly. 

“It’s fine, Kat. Happens to the best of us. Anyways, Rui, you still haven’t explained yourself. Why can’t you come?” Aoi diverted the conversation. Rui felt a bit awkward at the abrupt change in topic.

“Um… So my teacher gave me detention because I brought one of my drones to school. They confiscated it and gave me detention,” Rui smoothly lied. He now had to hope Aoi would believe him. 

“You brought a drone to school?” Kat questioned.

“Um… yeah.”

“So you finally got caught?” Aoi smiled teasingly. “I kept telling you to that it was risky for you to do that since it’s against school rules to bring anything other than school material.” That was a lie. Aoi always encouraged Rui to bring his inventions to school. He liked to see them and help Rui with some of them, especially the less dangerous ones. It made the genius inventor confused as to why Aoi was lying about this. Did that mean he believed Rui or not? It put him on edge.

“Fufu, yeah…” he awkwardly answered. 

“You have a drone? That’s so cool! Can I see it?” Kat was looking at him excitedly. Yet another person who was interested in his robotics hobby. It never failed to weird him out. “Wait, what am I saying? You said the teacher confiscated it.” She calmed down and looked a bit disappointed. 

“Oh, I actually have many others so it’s not a big deal,” Rui shrugged.

“What? Many others?” Kat perked up. “Then you totally have to show me soon! Drones are super cool! I’ve only seen photos before and I find them fascinating.” Kat went on to ramble about drones and Rui excitedly listened and added his own input. Aoi chuckled and joined their conversation. Rui had officially found another friend who liked robotics like him. He was happy, but he couldn’t help but fear. His boyfriend also liked robotics, so this was a way for the two soulmates to bond more. He pushed down his fear and concentrated on the conversation. As it went on, it seemed that Aoi was getting more animated and seemed to add more input to Kat’s points. Rui was slowly losing the thread of the conversation as they kept rambling on about other topics that Rui didn’t have any knowledge of. They started talking about a certain music group Rui had never heard of and that was when he truly stopped participating. 

He really tried to say things, anything to feel included in their conversation, but it was a topic he knew nothing about. The genius student didn’t know what to say, so he remained silent, with a plastered smile on his face, listening in awkwardly. They kept going on and on, Rui getting even more lost. It almost felt like they were speaking a foreign language in front of him. 

At some point, they didn’t even try to include him in their conversation. It was like they were in their own little world. Aoi was very expressive, his eyes were shining and he was smiling. His hands were moving with each word and his gaze was only on her. Kat too looked interested in their topic. She looked giddy and her yellowish-brown eyes were sparkling. It was like he was never there, a ghost who was haunting them, yet they couldn’t see it. His heart felt a deep sharp pain as he saw them interact. It was hard to keep his smile on, but he had to stay strong. This meant nothing.

“Oh, you should totally come with me to the skating ring this Friday since Rui can’t come.” Rui caught that part of the conversation. It made the pain in his heart grow worse.

“Really? That’s a great idea. Just text me the location and time and I’ll meet you there.” Great. They had already exchanged numbers too.

“We can just meet up after class and go there together. It’s just a few train stations away. We can borrow some roller skates there.” And now, this was derailing. It almost seemed like they were planning a date and Rui wasn’t there. The aching teenager was saved from hearing more by the bell. He stood up and went to class, dropping his smile. He was almost tempted to skip again, but he didn’t want to risk having another detention. He numbly went to class and sat at his desk. He simply looked at it for the duration of the class, hoping that the pain in his heart would lessen. It didn’t. 

The day ended and he went back home. He found out that Kat lived two train stations away from him instead of Aoi’s 5. They got to talk for a tiny bit longer on the train ride. They finally exchanged numbers because Kat wanted to see pictures of his drones and other robots. He promised to do that as soon as he got back home. 

But instead, he saw Sora and Suiteki playing together without Sagan. His cat robot was on the couch, looking at them a bit awkwardly. It seemed that the other bots were playing a game of ball and Sagan didn’t really know how to play. Instead of teaching him, the other robots let him watch. Poor Sagan was alone on the couch, looking a bit sad to not be able to play with his friends. Rui went to see it and gave it a big hug. 

He spent a lot of his evening hugging his cat robot. It was like they had a mutual understanding and were comforting each other in their perceived loneliness. Rui focused on the soft fur of his purple cat robot instead of the intense sadness and crushing loneliness he felt at the thought of losing his lover to his soulmate. 

He was jolted out of his focus by a vibration coming from his phone. It was a text from Aoi. He opened it and his heart was washed over by a feeling of love.

Hey, are you okay? You seemed a little down today. Is it cause of the detention and you not being able to come to the bar this Friday cause honestly don’t worry about it. It happens. 

And then, under that was an I love you text with a heart emoji. Rui always loved it when Aoi showed how much he cared for him. He was so lucky to have someone like him in his life, even if they weren’t soulmates. 

The smitten boy felt a slight pinch in his heart as he reminded himself of that new fact. He squeezed Sagan harder on his chest like a stuffed plushy and the robot perked up in question. He started petting it and it rubbed its face on his palm. Rui really felt out of it. Ever since he found out that Aoi wasn’t his soulmate, he felt like his whole world had fallen apart. And it had been two days. He was already starting to wonder if he had made the right decision by trying to fight against fate. Was there such a thing as defying fate?

Wasn’t he cruel by keeping Aoi to himself when he could be far happier with his soulmate?

Suddenly, his phone rang which made him jolt out of his thoughts. He picked it up without looking and greeted the person on the other side of the line.

“Ru~i, you didn’t answer my text and left me on read.” A sing-song voice he adored told him. He immediately felt guilty.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was just distracted by Sagan.” He laughed awkwardly. 

“No need to lie to me. I’m just worried about you. What’s wrong, my dear Ru~i?” Aoi said softly. Rui didn’t feel like telling him that he was feeling lonely and scared of being left because he didn’t want to worry him needlessly. He didn’t want to be judged or anything for being jealous of his boyfriend’s new friend. He also didn’t want to plant any ideas in his head about how he could leave him for Kat. 

“Nothing,” he lied. There was silence on the other end of the line. 

“I’m coming over right now,” his boyfriend simply said.

“Eh?” The line went dead. Rui stared at his phone confused as to what had just happened and continued petting Sagan. Well, his boyfriend was coming over, he should probably tell his parents. He wasn’t sure how to feel about this unprovoked visit. On the one hand, he always loved seeing his boyfriend. The hopeless romantic in him wished he could spend every waking hour with him and every sleeping hour cuddled up to him. On the other, he had just been contemplating if he had made the right decision the day before about trying to defy fate with him. The morality of his actions was questionable and he knew how selfish he was by making that decision. He wasn’t ready to see Aoi until he cleared his mind a little bit. 

He went to see his parents with Sagan in his arms and told them about this change of plans for the evening. They were happy to have Aoi over and also happy to see Sagan as usual. They petted their purple grandson and started preparing an additional serving for dinner. He went back to his garage to wait for his boyfriend.

Aoi arrived about half an hour after Rui had told his parents about his unprompted visit. Rui let him in and the first thing the boy said was:

“Oh, you have a new robot pet.” 

“Yeah, this is Suiteki, my lamb robot.” Rui had forgotten to tell him about the lamb robot since he had been so busy with building it. After the whole soulmate incident, the inventor had completely forgotten to tell Aoi about his new invention.

“I guess I should have expected something like this after you completely swooned over that little lamb during our trip. You’re so cute, you know that?” Aoi smiled fondly at him, eyes shining with love. He couldn’t help but blush at the compliment. Rui never did well with compliments, especially not those from Aoi. He turned his attention to the robots.

“W-well anyways, Suiteki is super soft and its wool is super great to cuddle. It really likes attention and baas to get it.” He crouched down to pet his lamb child. It baaed in satisfaction and headbutted his legs. He sat down and let it crawl onto his lap like the needy child it was. He kept petting Suiteki until he felt strong arms wrap around him. He tensed slightly.

“Aoi?” Aoi hugged him slightly tighter.

“Ru~i, are you still upset about that detention?” his boyfriend whispered in his ear. It gave him good shivers. 

“I-I’m really sorry about that. I should have been more careful not to get caught or find a way to get out of it. I’m sorry that we can’t-”

“It’s okay. It happens. It was bound to happen, don’t you think?” Aoi giggled a bit.

“I-I guess so,” Rui conceded, put his hands on Aoi’s arms and pressed them closer to himself. He closed his eyes and just felt the warm embrace.

“Don’t worry too much about it. It makes me feel like you’re a goody two shoes and we both know you’re anything but that. You’re chaos reincarnated.” Aoi chuckled lightly and Rui smiled to himself. They stayed in that comfortable position for a little bit. He felt Sora and Sagan join Suiteki on his lap and they all cuddled together. He felt loved. 

But still, inside, he felt conflicted. He was still debating whether or not he should go back on his decision and break things off with Aoi to let him be with his soulmate. As the seconds passed, his thoughts became all-consuming and he couldn’t entirely concentrate on the hug. 

“Is there something else on your mind?” Aoi asked after a minute of silence. Rui hesitated. He really didn’t feel like telling him about his internal debate. Aoi would surely be offended and wouldn’t understand where Rui’s fears came from. Then, he would have to explain the red strings to Aoi and his boyfriend would doubt him. Rui would be sad and everything would be a disaster. Besides, it sounded ridiculous to say that he was jealous of someone they had just met. Because sadly, that was what he was. Jealous. 

Yet, something compelled him to explain himself, if not, just a little bit. Perhaps talking about it would help him come to a sound conclusion about this affair. 

“It’s just… This sounds ridiculous but...” He paused and glanced at Aoi whose entire attention was on him. “I… I guess I’m just scared okay.” He sighed, a little frustrated with himself. Why was he saying this anyway? His lover would find him ridiculous and dramatic.

“Of what?” his boyfriend asked, curiously.

“Of… of you leaving me, okay!” he said a little sharper than he wanted. He was so ashamed at his admission. “It’s just… I know it’s just been two days and it means nothing, but I feel like you and Kat hit it off a little too well and… ugh… I just can’t help but think this might become more and that you’ll leave me.” Rui felt like an absolute dunce. He couldn’t believe he had said such things. What if he accidentally gave Aoi the idea to do something like that? After all, Kat was his soulmate and she was perfect. Unlike Rui, she was beautiful and kind. She could make friends easily and had a lot of charisma. She probably didn’t come with the many messed up parts that Rui had. 

Aoi hummed and unwrapped his arms from around Rui. The purple-haired boy felt his heart sink. He knew he should have never said that. Aoi would think he was dramatic and too much of a problem for him. He would leave him for Kat! Rui had messed up so badly, he should have shut up. He really should have chosen to let Aoi go yesterday-

He felt strong hands on his shoulders and, suddenly, he was quickly turned around and kissed passionately. The robots fell off of his lap and loudly protested, but were ignored. Rui was shocked but quickly relaxed after he registered what was happening. He melted into the kiss and wrapped his arms around his lover’s neck. He tasted mint and felt warmth. The hurt in his heart ceased and his thoughts quieted. 

They pulled away and Aoi put his forehead on his, both hands on his cheek helping to cool down his warm face. 

“You’re way too cute. It’s too much for my poor heart, you know?” Aoi chuckled and opened his eyes, making eye contact with him. His sky-blue eyes never failed to take his breath away. “But you know, I think your fears are unfounded. I won’t leave you for her. I would never leave you for anyone, period. And that’s a promise. I love you too much to ever leave.” 

“Y-you really promise?” Rui felt a little uncertain even if his words had been sincere.

“I do. I promise to never leave you just like how you promised to never leave me. You’re so precious to me, my love.” Rui felt his heart fill up with love and his lips quirked upwards. He kissed his boyfriend again and tackled him in a warm hug. He wasn’t sad anymore. Such was the power Aoi held on Rui.

They eventually had dinner with his parents and Aoi decided to stay the night. They fell asleep cuddled up together on his couch which he had extended to have more space with the three robots at their feet. Before falling asleep, Rui made another decision. He would stick with his original decision of believing in their love. He wasn’t sure it was possible, but he wanted to try defying fate. His boyfriend had promised him to never leave him and Rui believed him with his whole heart. 

The next day, he brought a drone to school as an apology for not having sent the photos to Kat. She was impressed but asked if he was going to get into trouble to which Rui said he would be careful to not get caught this time. Aoi fake rolled his eyes. 

Friday came around and he had to go to detention. Well, ‘detention’. Usually, detention was not a thing in schools, but his school was a little special. They had taken inspiration from the American school system and implemented a disciplinary system where students were held back on Friday nights to clean some parts of the school like the gym and bathrooms. It was relatively easy to get detention since the school was strict. If the uniform wasn’t worn properly, detention. If you arrive late, detention. If you forgot your homework, detention. And of course, if you skipped class without a valid reason, detention. 

Rui hated cleaning. He could do it, but he’d rather not. It wasn’t the thing he hated the most, those being losing the people he loved, being abandoned and alone, and vegetables, but it was definitely in the top twenty. There were many other things he would rather be doing on a Friday night than be stuck cleaning some disgusting school bathroom. But he had to. 

And after a few hours, his detention was done and he went back home. He flopped on his couch and Sagan joined him, making himself at home on his stomach. The teenager opened his phone and saw that Kat had posted a photo on Social Media. It was a selfie of her grinning and making a peace sign and Aoi next to her making a much calmer smile. They were at what seemed to be the roller skating rink as they had said they would go. The caption said Roller Skating Besties  in English with a rollerskating emoji and a smiley face. 

Rui knew they had gone there together. They had made the plans in front of him after all. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. They were already ‘besties’ and it hadn’t even been a week. They were moving way too fast for Rui’s comfort. He forced himself to calm down and reminded himself of Aoi’s promise. It filled him with warmth and lessened his jealousy for a bit. Still, he had a bad feeling about this, but he would push on and believe in their love. 

Aoi and Rui hung out a bit during the weekend at Aoi’s house. On Monday, his boyfriend texted him that he was going to see his usual group of friends during lunch break and introduce them to Kat. He was a bit annoyed that Kat would be with him but brushed his useless jealousy away. The cyan-haired girl would probably have an easier time being liked by these guys than he had. The lonely student spent his lunch break near the garden beds and noted down the different species of insects he could find. 

Two days later, Aoi texted him again, saying that he would meet up with his ‘boys’. This time, he didn’t mention anything about Kat, so Rui assumed she would go with him. He was wrong. He was staring numbly at the window and hadn't heard the bell ring. Someone tapped his shoulder and he jolted. Rui turned to face the person and saw yellowish-brown eyes sparkling with mischief and a big grin. 

“Haha, Rui. You were pretty spaced out there. What’s on your mind?” she cheerfully said. 

“Oh, nothing much. I was just very bored from class,” Rui shrugged.

“Hehe, tell me about it. Anyways, wanna go eat lunch together. Aoi said he’d be hanging out with those guys today, so we should eat together,” she proposed.

“You’re not joining them?” Rui asked, surprised. He had expected to pass the time alone by going to the library to see if they had any new books about shows. Not with Kat.

“Um… no. It’s just um… I don’t want to judge them or anything, but they kind of creep me out a bit,” Kat nervously admitted. 

“Is that so? I mean, I admit that they are quite intimidating,” Rui conceded. He didn’t find Aoi’s ‘boys’ creepy per se, just very weird and slightly unsettling. They were delinquents after all. And also, they hated him.

“Right? It’s almost like there’s this weird dark aura surrounding them or something. Like brr, how did Aoi come to even associate with creeps like them?” Kat shivered. He chuckled a little.

“I have no idea. I guess they started talking last year and hit it off for some reason. Aoi’s pretty charismatic, he can make friends with almost everyone.”

“Honestly, a real social butterfly. Still, it’s so strange that he’s so close to those delinquents. Do you know what they talk about together?” Kat bent down to be closer to him and said it as if it was an FBI-level secret.

“Yeah, I’ve hung out with them a little bit. They keep talking about smoking and bars and stuff. Not really my thing.” It really wasn’t even if he went to bars with Aoi every week. If it wasn’t for his boyfriend, he would probably never go since he hated the taste of alcohol and the overstimulating environment that was the bar. 

“So you too? Is that why you weren’t there Monday?” 

“Yeah. We have nothing in common and well, they hate me,” he shamefully admitted. 

“They hate you? Seriously? Ugh, it’s a good thing you don’t hang out with them then. Their lost,” Kat flippantly said. As if she hadn’t just said that Rui was something precious that they had lost. Rui chuckled awkwardly. “Anyways, enough bout these weirdos. Let’s go get lunch together!” Kat snatched his arm and he followed her. They got their lunch from their locker and went to their usual spot, well, Aoi and Rui’s usual spot that Kat had incrusted herself into. They unpacked their lunch and continued shit-talking Aoi’s friends. Rui usually wasn’t one for gossip, but he couldn’t help but let out his almost a year’s worth of frustration about these weirdos that kept Aoi away from him sometimes. 

At some point, the subject changed to robotics. Rui was talking about a certain inventor he liked and mentioned the English name of a product made by the person. 

“Eh? You said that so well,” she said, impressed.

“Oh, well I’m bilingual so it’s normal,” Rui shrugged.

“You’re bilingual? English and Japanese?” Kat was even more impressed. She was practically standing up.

“Yeah.”

“How come you never told me, huh? Is that like a secret you have or something?” She didn’t seem upset even if her words were accusatory. Her arms were crossed and her brows were furrowed, but her eyes were shining with curiosity.

“No, I guess it never came up.” Rui didn’t know how to react.

“What do you mean it never came up? You could have told me the day we met! I’m British, that would have been a good way to break the ice, you know?”

“Well, I don’t know, I just forgot to say it?”

“Hopeless. Aoi’s right about you, you’re such a dork.” 

“Eh? He said that?”

“Yeah, it’s kinda funny, in my opinion.” She ruffled his hair and he flinched. He looked at her, confused. She didn’t seem to notice that she had done something kind of weird. “How come you never told Aoi, huh? You guys have known each other for a year.”

“He knows.” Kat looked at him weirdly.

“So, how come you never helped him do his English homework?” she questioned.

“What do you mean? I always help him. Not just English, but everything else too.” This was getting a bit awkward.

“That’s weird cause he asked me to help him in English.” Silence. Rui felt another sharp pang in his heart as jealousy seemed to consume him once more. Aoi had never told him about this. Did he want help with his English homework from someone else? Why? Rui was bilingual and made no mistakes when writing. There was no one better to teach him the language than him. So, there was absolutely no reason for him to ask Kat for this. Still, Aoi’s promise echoed in his head and he took a deep, calming breath to recenter himself. There had to be a logical explanation.

“M-Maybe it’s because he wants to learn British slang? I mean, I only know American English since I learned the language from watching American shows,” Rui proposed, feeling unconvinced by his own answer. Kat too seemed weirded out by the situation but decided to change the topic lest they have more questions that would never get answered. And make Rui lose sleep over it.

After a while, they had finished eating but stayed under the shade of the cherry tree. 

“Can I try something real quick?” Kat asked randomly. She was looking intently at him and it made him slightly nervous.

“What?”

“You know, we both have cyan hair. Well, you, it’s just a few streaks for some reason. Are they natural or dyed?” Her gaze was set on his two cyan strands.

“Natural.”

“Sick! So, I wanted to just like feel them. Um, okay that sounds weird, but I was wondering if our hair texture was the same,” Kat awkwardly said, starting to feel embarrassed. 

“Um, sure?” He wasn’t sure what the right answer was in this situation. Kat scooted next to him and grabbed one of his strands with her right hand. With her other one, she took part of her long cyan hair. She twirled the two parts of their hair in each of her hands and had a thoughtful look.

“They do feel the same. It’s super strange. I wonder if we are related somehow.” That was not something Rui had expected her to conclude.

“I don’t know. I don’t have any British ancestors in my bloodline.” Rui really hoped they weren’t related. Not that he minded having a cousin like her, just that he would feel weird to be jealous of someone from his family.

“Yeah, you’re right. My cyan hair comes from my Mom who’s British.” She had a strange look in her eyes at the mention of her mother. Rui didn’t know what to say. “Oh, let’s take a pic,” she exclaimed, a smile on her face. She took out her phone and opened the photo’s app. Rui was certainly surprised at this change in attitude.

“Eh?”

“Come on, pose with me!” She wrapped an arm around his neck and smiled for the camera. He put on a neutral cat-like grin since he didn’t know what to do. It had taken him too much by surprise. Kat took the photo and released him. “We look so good! Can I post this on my account?”

“I mean, why not?” Rui let her do as she pleased. He didn’t really care. It wasn’t an embarrassing photo, so it was fine.

That night, Rui saw the photo posted on Kat’s account. He looked a lot more soft in the photo than he had thought. Kat was grinning wildly and she almost seemed to have a moonlike aura to her. The caption read Twinsies in another Lifetime  in English with a happy cat emoji. He didn’t understand exactly what this implied. Did that mean that Kat and he had become close friends? He was so confused. He decided to sleep on it and solve the mystery another time. Or never since it wasn’t really important.

As the days went on, Rui was starting to lose it. Kat was starting to get out of line and Rui had to do something about it. He loved Kat. She was a good friend and a kind young woman, but she was getting on his nerves. The girl kept mooning over his boyfriend like a lovesick teenager. Every time Aoi was with them, she practically had big red hearts in her eyes. He could even consider what she was doing to be drooling over his boyfriend. His boyfriend, not hers. 

Aoi and she went roller skating together alone again. They also spent some of the breaks together alone when Rui couldn’t come because some teachers had dumbly asked him to help a student in his class in math. They were spending way too much time alone together and it was rilling Rui up. Sure, he still spent a lot of time with his boyfriend, but less often. They sometimes went to the bar on Friday, but Aoi had asked to skip it that week. They saw each other on the weekends alone, but during lunch break, it was rare that Kat wasn’t there. 

It really pissed Rui off. That girl needed to back off from his man, immediately. Sure, they were soulmates so it was predictable that she would fall for him. Still, Aoi had promised to stay with him forever, so she needed to find someone else. He was with Rui, dammit, and Kat wouldn’t change that. Even if they were soulmates!

The jealous teenager had to make her back off. The easy solution would simply be to finally tell her about how he and Aoi were dating. And so, that was what he was going to do. Or at least, what he thought he was going to do before reminding himself that he had no idea what Kat thought of gay people and relationships. If she reacted wrongly, it could backfire on not only him but Aoi too. Somewhere deep in his heart, he had a feeling that would not be the case and that Kat was truly kind and accepting as she had shown in her actions before. But still, this wasn’t just about him. Kat was Aoi’s friend more than Rui’s, so he didn’t know if his boyfriend would be okay with Rui outing the both of them to her.

So, that was what led him to this situation. He was at Aoi’s house on a weekend and they were cuddling when he finally brought up the subject.

“Hey… Aoi, we need to talk.” Rui took his arm and hugged it the same way he did when he was upset.

“Shit! W-what?” Aoi started panicking. Perhaps his phrasing had not been the right way to bring up the topic. Rui hadn’t meant to trigger such anxiety in him. He immediately let go of his arm and grabbed his cheeks, forcing him to look at him. He put on a sweet reassuring smile and caressed them to make Aoi calm down.

“It’s not bad. I’m sorry I phrased it like that.” He kissed him softly. He felt his lover’s tension release from his body. “It’s just about Kat.”

“What about her?” his boyfriend said nonchalantly.

“She clearly likes you as more than a friend.”

“This again? Ru~i, I told you, I won’t leave you for her. I promised.” Aoi kissed his cheek.

“I-I know. I trust you. But, I don’t trust Kat for this. Especially since she thinks you’re single. I think we should finally tell her about us,” Rui said with as much determination as he could. Aoi stared at him seriously for a while. The purple-haired teenager felt cold sweat running down his back as he waited for his answer.

“Alright. If it makes you feel better and stop stressing about this, I’ll do it. I’ll tell her first thing Monday morning, okay? Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” Aoi smiled at him and kissed his forehead. Rui felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter and he tightly hugged his boyfriend.

“Thank you,” he softly said.

On Monday morning, Rui arrived and saw that both Kat and Aoi were already waiting under the cherry tree. They seemed to be talking about something serious. From afar, he could see that Kat looked slightly shocked, and… he couldn’t understand the other emotion, but it seemed kind. She had what he could only describe as a sad smile on her face. Aoi was talking in whispers, but stopped once he saw him. They greeted him and Kat still had that strange but kind look in her eyes. 

Rui was weirded out. He believed that Aoi had talked to Kat about how the two of them were a couple, but there was no reason for him to stop talking when he arrived. Perhaps they had talked about something else related to him after that. He couldn’t help but wonder what it was but didn’t have the courage to ask. In the end, he convinced himself that it didn’t matter. Aoi always said good things about him to others, so it probably wasn’t bad. Besides, his boyfriend had finally told Kat to back off just like he had asked. 

But it seemed Kat didn’t care that the two of them were a couple because she kept batting her eyelashes and smiling softly at his boyfriend. She kept blushing around him and laughing for no reason. More than a few times, he saw her touch his arm or ‘accidentally’ make physical contact with him. And the worst part was that Aoi didn’t stop her.

Rui’s blood kept boiling and he felt even more frustrated as the days went on. But he said nothing, hoping she would stop. He had thought she was kind, perhaps he had been wrong. What kind of friend continued to try to get with her other friend’s boyfriend? A bad one, he was pretty sure. Aoi kept acting like nothing was happening. Kat kept acting normal towards him, being kind and happy around him as if she wasn’t trying to steal his man. And Rui kept pretending that nothing was happening too. He was too scared to accidentally ruin this little peace that they had going on. If Aoi wasn’t doing anything, it probably meant there was nothing to be done. So he kept smiling and talking with her like they were friends. Were they friends? Maybe, but he didn’t think friends should make each other that miserable. 

Each time he went back home, he couldn’t help but pick up Sagan and hug him tightly. A few times, he let himself cry in frustration on his cat robot’s fur. He knew it was useless to cry, useless to get jealous, but he couldn’t help it. Rui was getting more and more scared that Kat would win. That fate would win. Then, he would lose Aoi, the most important person in his life. He would have no one left. What would happen to him?

Reminding himself of Aoi’s promise didn’t help. Reminding himself of the many lovely moments they had spent together didn’t help. Rereading Aoi’s love letters didn’t erase his tears. Even Aoi’s ‘I love you’ texts couldn’t completely wipe the pain in his heart anymore. 

It made no sense. Aoi was treating him with as much love and care as before. Sure, they saw each other a little bit less, but they still did. On weekends, they would sometimes have sleepovers. Aoi would shower him with love and kisses like he did before meeting Kat. He still looked at him like he was the most precious thing on Earth, sky-blue eyes shining with adoration.

But he couldn’t help but feel like this might be the end of their relationship. At least soon. Even if Aoi had promised, he couldn’t help but have the feeling that it was a promise he could never fulfill. Maybe… maybe Rui had been naive to think fate could be defied. 

Even so, he didn’t want to break up. He loved Aoi with all his being and it made his heart feel twice as much pain to think they could ever part ways. For now, their relationship was going relatively well, there was no need to cause drama. And Rui was selfish and self-indulgent. He had the chance to make their relationship last for longer. Lose Aoi later down the line, not now. Perhaps it was stupid, but Rui would bear the pain for now. Besides, he had gone through some pain before too. Except that back then, it had been for far longer, so this was nothing.

So he pushed on for another week. 

On that weekend, Aoi had texted both him and Kat to hang out at his house. Rui reluctantly went even if he felt insanely tired and heartbroken. He had wanted to spend the weekend with his boyfriend, of course, but alone. They still had a great time together. Even if it all felt fake. He had his neutral cat-like grin on his face that he could feel not reach his eyes. His tone was full of fake happiness and forced emotions. He felt like a mechanical puppet forced to do a show. He usually liked shows, but for some reason, he hated this one. His acting skills felt lackluster to him. But it seemed the two others didn’t notice. Or maybe they didn’t care to ask why he was acting that way. 

Kat and he left pretty late. It was pouring outside and there were violent winds. They walked to the train station together and talked. Kat seemed to be talking more than him, he couldn’t muster up the energy to act anymore. He answered her sometimes, didn’t know what to add to others. They arrived at the train station and Kat finally stopped blabbering. 

“Hey… You know you can talk to me about anything, right? Um… I know we haven’t known each other for that long, a month and a half, can you believe it? Time sure does pass fast, huh? But anyways, I know you’re probably going through some stuff, so I wanted to offer my supporting shoulder if you need it.” Rui didn’t look at her. He didn’t want to see the fake pity on her face. He wondered why she even bothered putting up the kind girl act when Aoi wasn’t there. She didn’t have to pretend to care about him, as if she wasn’t only friends with him because she wanted to get closer to his boyfriend and they came in a package deal. 

“You know, I’ve been told I’m a great listener. Besides, I think I’d understand if you told me. Who knows, maybe we have similar struggles and I could help you with it.” Her voice seemed empathetic. Rui wondered if she was an actor in another life. He sighed. It wasn’t like their struggles would ever be similar. Kat couldn’t see the red strings, didn’t have to see her relationship probably crumble soon, and certainly didn’t have a ‘friend’ who was stealing her boyfriend right in front of her. 

“There’s nothing wrong, really. Don’t worry about me.” The train finally arrived and he got in, not waiting for Kat. The cart was empty except for them. He sat down and simply looked in front of him with a blank look. He was tired again. It was exhausting to put up this facade of nothing being wrong while his heart was throbbing in pain. Kat sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“You don’t have to lie about it. It’s fine if something’s wrong and you can just not tell me. Um, but is it something I’ve done? Is that why… you’re so distant right now?” Kat was looking at him with worry. The answer to her question was simple. Yes. It was her fault. She should know that. But, he had to play the part and act like everything wasn’t about to fall apart. He didn’t want to upset their little balance and accidentally trigger the inevitable so soon. 

“No. Really, don’t worry about it. Everything is fine. I’m just tired.” He gave her a small forced smile. Rui really hoped she would drop the subject. She didn’t seem convinced. 

“That’s good then. Glad it’s not something I’ve accidentally done. I still don’t know all of the social faux pas in Japan, so please tell me if I’ve ever crossed a line.” She detached her hand from Rui’s shoulder and looked at the window. “You know, back in England, there used to be a lot of rain, at least where I lived.” She almost seemed nostalgic. 

“Is that so?” he dully said, indulging her.

“Yeah. I used to live near the shore, but not too close since there were risks of drought. When I was younger, I always went outside in the rain with my friends and we used to jump in the little puddles and splash each other.” She chuckled at the memory. “It was really fun. I wish it wasn’t seen as weird to do that when you grow up, but whatever.

"Anyway, my favorite part about rainy days was that my sister and I would sometimes go near the shore and watch if there were fishies. Sometimes, we would look for other aquatic animals. But what my sister would often make us do was search for Earthworms in the puddles. I found that so gross, but she would pick them right up. She was a little bit like Aoi and you in that regard, she loved invertebrates and would always talk about the random facts she had learned about them.” Rui was confused. Kat had never talked about this sister of hers before. He wondered if she was still in England and that they were separated because of their parent’s divorce. He looked at her and she had a heartbroken smile on her face.

“I really hated those damn animals. They grossed me out so much. The worms just wriggled around and had no eyes. She once told me we could slice one and it would survive, maybe the two parts would survive depending on where we cut it. It was so disgusting.” Kat fake gagged.

“You never told me you had a sister,” Rui commented, expecting to know more. He was slightly curious about what brought up this topic.

“Yeah…” Kat didn’t elaborate.

“What’s she like?” he prompted

“My sister, she was my closest friend.” She softly smiled, diverting her gaze to the window. “We would always take care of each other, even if we fought often as siblings do. We would often conspire against our parents when they did something we disapproved of or when they punished us.” She laughed. “One time, we got caught climbing the roof of our house, so our mom got so mad. She took away our electronics and banned us from going out for a week. My sister and I drove her crazy. We started using the pots and pans to do as much noise as possible, would sing at the top of our lungs, and overall be little shits. Our mom was tired of our bullshit and let us go back outside after three days. We were such little shits, it’s insane.” Rui lightly chuckled. He never had any siblings, so he was a little jealous of Kat and her sister’s relationship. But something made him feel like something was wrong. He wondered why Kat was using the past to refer to her sister. He really hoped his morbid theories weren’t true. Even if he was starting to dislike Kat as the days went on, he didn’t wish for anyone’s sibling to die.

“So, did she look like you or were you guys opposites?”

“Well, in terms of personality, we were like fire and ice. She was more quiet and nerdy while I’m more, you know, chaotic and sociable.” She stuck out her tongue and chuckled. “Though, we had the same hair and eye color. She was two years older than me, but some people thought we were twins. If it weren’t for her glasses, even more people would have assumed that haha.” 

“I find it quite strange, but interesting that your parents gave birth to two opposites personality-wise. To think you have a sister who’s quiet.” Rui really didn’t know what to do with that information, but he somehow wanted to know more. There must have been a reason why she brought the subject up. “Is she still in England?”

She sighed shakily.

“No. She’s no longer with us.”

Oh. His morbid theory was right. Kat had lost her sister. That was horribly tragic. She really didn’t deserve that. He should have left everything at that, it was honestly none of his business and perhaps insensitive, but something made him want to know what had happened.

“If you don’t mind me asking… and you really don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, but… what happened to her?” Rui carefully chose his words. She looked at him with a terribly sad smile and teary eyes.

“I was twelve when it happened. She was fourteen. My sister, her name was Carolina, she was friends with someone called Marianne.” She paused and a dark look crossed her eyes. It disappeared almost instantly. “They had been friends since primary school and were pretty much inseparable. But in secondary school, something happened with Marianne’s family and she was never the same. I don’t know the full story, just a few glimpses from what my sister told me. Marianne… she started taking a lot of drugs and drinking. They were twelve when it started. I heard that Marianne sometimes drank during school hours and would go to class drunk. She never got punished though. The teachers didn’t care enough. The staff never tried to help or anything.” 

Rui was shocked. He had thought that Aoi’s friends who talked about drugs and alcohol all the time were delinquent, but at least they were slightly older than this Marianne person when she had started doing those things. How did parents let their children do such things? And so young too?

“I also heard that… a-and this is the worst part… I heard that she would, um, hook up with way older men. Like… she would meet adults and, um, I’m not quite sure. I’d rather not think about it.”

That was the most horrifying part of this story. He didn’t even want to think about it for longer than a second too. It made him want to puke. To think adults out there did such things with a twelve-year-old. Disgusting. The world was such a cruel and gross place. He was starting to feel bad for this Marianne person.

“But my sister, she was worried for her friend, so she tried to help her. She would go see the school staff and ask for help, try to talk her out of going with these adults and doing all those things and support her the best that she could. But… my sister, she was young too. She didn’t know what to do. And she didn’t always know what was right and wrong either.” She stopped and stared at the window for a minute. She bit her bottom lip and forced her tears to remain unshed.

“When she was fourteen, um, Marianne invited her to go to a party. I remember it like it was yesterday.” Her eyes were blank, like she was seeing something which Rui couldn’t. Maybe she was seeing the events of what had happened in detail and it was destroying her on the inside. Rui couldn’t even imagine how painful it was to think about a dead sibling. “It was a cold night in October and I heard my sister creep in the living room so I went to check on her. She was putting on her coat and shoes, so I asked her where she was going. She said that Marianne had invited her to a party close by so she was sneaking out and going with her. She made me promise not to tell our parents, so I didn’t. I went back to sleep and, the next day, she wasn’t back.” She paused and took a very deep and shaky breath. 

“Our parents were pissed, but I didn’t tell them that I knew she had gone out. We tried calling, texting, asking the neighbors… but we got nothing. Eventually, we called the police to report her missing. She wasn’t there the next day either, nor the next. We had no news of her. My parents were extremely worried and so was I. I called and texted her every day. At school, I tried to look for Marianne to ask her where my sister was, but she was impossible to catch. I saw her maybe once, but she immediately ran away from me when she saw me.” Her voice, which had been mostly blank while she recalled the story, had become emotional as she kept going. Her words were uncertain and stuttering as she kept trying to not shed any tears.

“Two weeks later, they found her body on the shore close to our house. T-they never told me the details, but I’m pretty sure someone killed her. I don’t know why. I don’t know who. I don’t know exactly how. But I know she couldn’t have died by drowning except if someone sabotaged her. She was a great swimmer, so someone must have done something.” Her voice kept cracking, so she paused for a bit and recomposed herself. Rui couldn’t say anything. He wished he didn’t have a heart because he was starting to feel extremely sad for Kat. He wanted to keep disliking her, but as she kept telling her story, he couldn’t keep up the act anymore. She didn’t deserve to be in such pain.

“The news shattered my family. Mom and Dad constantly fought. Dad drowned his grief in work, and Mom became depressed and unable to function. They eventually divorced a few months ago when all hell broke loose. Dad decided to move here for his job and to forget about everything.” Kat stopped talking and took a few shaky breaths, eyes closed. She was having a hard time keeping her emotions bottled up. It made Rui’s heart swell with pain for her. Dammit, he couldn’t dislike her anymore. He would be heartless to dislike her. He could see how this situation was affecting her and that the death of her sister was weighing on her. He had a feeling that she was far from moving on and that she blamed herself because she had let her go to the party.

“What about you? How did you deal with the grief?”

“I… I just… I tried to get answers. Marianne was still alive and well. She was still going to school. I kept trying to talk to her, understand what had happened that night and why she didn’t help my sister, her best friend. She kept evading me. It frustrated me so much, that I started blaming her for her death. Why did she survive when my sister who was the kindest and smartest person out there didn’t? How come that bitch got to wake up that morning when my sister couldn’t? How come that girl, whom my sister had cared for and tried to help to the best of her abilities, still existed? I hated her. I wanted her dead. I wished every waking moment that she would take my sister’s place.” Her voice was getting louder and more aggressive. There was a grand infuriated flame in her eyes as she snapped after each sentence. She sighed and recomposed herself slightly.

“One day, I finally cornered her. I asked her about what happened and she denied knowing anything. I called her out on her lie and yelled at her to explain everything to me. She continued to lie and lie and lie. I got tired of it. I hadn’t cried over my sister’s death yet. I didn’t want to cry, I wanted answers. She wouldn’t have wanted me to cry. She used to tell me that she hated seeing me sad. I didn’t want to. But, I couldn’t help it. I lashed out at Marianne and pulled her hair. I punched her and we got into a physical fight. Teachers had to pull us apart and we got suspended. I didn’t care. I wanted her dead. But the teachers made sure we would never see each other again, so I never got my damn answers.” Her fists were white from the force of her grip.

“Kat…”

“Why did she have to die, dammit? She was my best friend and partner in crime! I never betrayed her and never told our parents about how I saw her sneak out, but I wish I would have stopped her.” He had been right, Kat was blaming herself for this.

“Kat, it’s not your fault,” he simply said and looked her straight in the eyes.

“I can’t help but feel like it is.”

Silence. This was so heavy. He somehow wanted to help her. 

“Do you think… do you think there could be a way for you to feel less guilty? I mean… a way for you to move on? I-I have a feeling from what you’ve told me that you haven’t yet grieved her properly.” Rui tried to give some advice, but he wasn’t sure how to deal with the situation.

“No. I can’t,” she simply said.

“Why?” he cautiously asked.

“Because, because I still don’t have the answers. I still don’t know what happened to her and I need to know. So she can finally rest.” She was convinced that having these ‘answers’ would free her sister. Rui wondered if those answers would only bring her more pain or if they would really bring her peace. He was pretty sure they were not worth the pain that Kat was going through right now.

“But I think… from what I understand… I think that your sister would want you to move on. You said she hated seeing you sad, right?” She nodded. “But, you still have to grieve, or you’ll never move on. You’ll keep having this sadness on your shoulders.”

“But I can’t! I really can’t. She wouldn’t want me to be sad. I-I can’t go against her wishes.” It was like Kat was living with the ghost of her big sister on her back. He was pretty sure Carolina wouldn’t want Kat to live like this. 

“I-is that why you came to Japan? To start over?” He couldn’t help but ask. This question had been plaguing his mind ever since Kat had mentioned the death of her sister. He wouldn’t blame her if she had.

“No!” she accidentally snapped. “I didn’t want to come here. I wanted to keep searching for answers. But my Dad, he forced me to come here. He said it would be good for me to get away from England and ‘start living a little’, but he’s wrong! I can’t ‘start living’ yet. Sure, this place is great, but I can’t sleep anymore. I’m wasting time ‘living my teenage life’ when I should be interrogating that bitch! I need answers, dammit! Why did my sister have to die? And why did I have to move? I can’t get these answers here!” Her jaw was clenched and her eyes were wide. Rui really observed her face, he had never noticed before, probably because she wore makeup, but she had very dark bags under her eyes. The rain had washed some of her makeup away, so he could finally see them. They were just as bad as his. He wondered if his makeup had also somewhat washed away. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry. It makes it sound like I’m not grateful to have met you and Aoi. I am. I appreciate both of you, but dammit, I can’t help but feel like I’m wasting time like this. Sure, it soesn't feel like I'm wasting time when you guys are with me since you almost make me forget about everything. Ij just... I need answers. But I can't get them because I can’t go back to England. And I may as well play along with my Dad’s wishes. Maybe then, I’ll be able to go back soon and get my answers.” She calmed down and looked at the ground. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. He really wished she could just let herself go. She had suffered enough. 

“Kat-” Kat snapped out of her sadness and he saw her smile. She clapped her hands and closed her eyes. 

“Anyways, haha, I really ruined the mood, huh?” Her usual cheerful persona was back in place. Persona? That was… a saddening revelation. To think under all that sunshine was a broken girl who couldn’t let go of her sister’s death. He didn’t want to change the subject just like that.

“Kat, please-”

“What I wanted to get with this was that you can always talk to me about your woes. I really don't want you to suffer. I care about you. You’re like my twinsy. We’re hair-color siblings. I want you to be happy. So no matter what’s wrong, I’ll be by your side to listen and help.” Kat flashed him a bright smile and thumbs up. 

She was… she was truly a kind person. He had been stupid to think otherwise. She had meant every word she had said, Rui had a feeling she did. This girl truly cared for him. Even if she wanted to steal his boyfriend. And that puzzled him. 

“I appreciate it Kat, but you know, the offer is the same for you. If you ever have anything troubling you, I’ll be there to listen. You are truly… truly kind and you didn’t deserve to go through all of that.” 

The train stopped at Kat’s station and she got up. 

“Thanks, Rui! See you at school!” She waved energetically and ran out of the train.

“See you.” He waved back with a small pained smile. He started to think as the train moved again; even if she wanted to get with his boyfriend, Rui knew she had a good reason to be selfish. Perhaps her crush on Aoi was the only thing helping her take her mind off of that horrible tragedy. It was a semblance of normal. A way to move on eventually. She had always been kind to him and cared for him. Rui suddenly felt the urge to be kind to her in return. 

For the rest of the train ride, Rui’s head hurt. He felt so pained and wretched. The tgenius student had made a horrible mistake. He couldn’t go against fate because it was selfish. Who was he to take away Kat’s happiness. She had gone through so much and had finally found someone who made her relatively happy. He could see it in her eyes every day, Aoi made her happy. Perhaps in that sense, they were the same. They had found someone who made them relatively happy despite the hurt. Even though Kat was still stuck in the past, perhaps being with Aoi would help her move on. Rui wanted her to move on now that he knew how much pain she was in.

Perhaps… it was time to let go.

Rui had been selfish enough. He had had some good times with Aoi, but they needed to part ways. Then, Kat could finally be happy and perhaps stop thinking that she was wasting her time in Japan, time that she believed should have been spent on finding answers for her sister’s death. 

Aoi might be sad at first, but he would quickly bounce back again since Kat would be there. And just like that, the two soulmates would help each other in their grief. Happy ending for everyone, right?

No! What about me? What about my happy ending?  The selfish part of his heart screamed. 

And that was the thing, wasn’t it? Rui would be the only one who would end up alone and unhappy. He didn’t want to go back to how he was before. It had been painful and lonely back then. 

But he had survived it and met someone. At first, it had been Nene, then Mizuki, and, finally, Aoi. He wasn’t friends with the first two anymore, but he had still managed to find someone else who accepted him in some way. It had been painful to part ways, but it would be okay. When one door closes, another one opens, right?

That had been proven to him time and time again. It would be true another time too. Even if it took some time for the next door to open, it would open eventually. And who knows, maybe he would actually find his soulmate this time. 

No no no! This was supposed to be our happy ending for once! We’ve been through tough things too, perhaps not to the same extent as her, but it doesn’t make these experiences less painful! Why should we sacrifice our happiness for hers? Sure, she has been kind to us, but she is also trying to steal our boyfriend! Just because she is doing some nice things doesn’t negate that she is also doing something harsh!  His heart refused. It cried at the unfairness of it all. It was not ready to let go. He wondered if it would ever be ready to let go. And so, as he walked into his garage, he stayed firm with his decision to be selfish. Perhaps he could help Kat in some other way.

Rui was rereading the letters Aoi had written to him as he always did when he was feeling conflicted about their relationship when he heard a strange noise. Was it… a sob? He turned around and saw Sagan sobbing on the floor and Suiteki looking shocked. The lamb robot was next to Sora who seemed to not care about Sagan’s cries. Suiteki immediately ran to the cat robot and tried to console it by rubbing its head on its face. Sagan seemed to calm down a little bit and meowed softly at the lamb bot who baaed in answer. Suddenly, Sora yipped angrily at both robots and started growling. It was strange. Rui hadn’t known that he could do that. Suiteki angrily baaed and Sagan’s ears lowered. The cat robot was looking at the fox with a sad expression. The fox kept growling louder and even showed its teeth to the other bots. Suiteki took a defensive position in front of Sagan and baaed back. 

Rui blinked in surprise at this strange display. He had created loving and kind robots, not angry ones. They weren’t made to fight with each other. He hoped it would deescalate soon and turned back to his reading, but not for long.

He heard a ripping sound, loud growling, hissing, and a terrified baa. Rui turned around and saw that Sora had ripped off one of Suiteki’s legs and was ripping a lot of wool off of the lamb robot. The poor robot was shrieking for its life. Rui was so shocked that he didn’t move. Suddenly, Sora ripped off the lamb’s core circuit and the horrified shrieking baa stopped. Suiteki fell to the ground, unmoving. Sora was growling loudly, some part of the circuit still in its teeth. The fox robot turned towards Sagan who had a defensive position and was hissing. Rui could see the terrified look in its robotic eyes; it was probably the same as his. Sora jumped onto Sagan and started ripping its fur. Pained meows could be heard through the whole garage. That snapped Rui out of his terror-inflicted stupor and he ran to stop his unhinged robot. He was too late. Soon after Sora had started his attack, he deactivated Sagan for good by ripping its head off. The sound stopped immediately and Sagan’s headless body crumbled to the ground. 

Rui tensed and looked at his rogue robot. It was still holding Sagan’s head in its mouth. If they hadn’t been robots, Rui was sure that this would have been a bloody scene. He grabbed Sora and deactivated it. He was trembling as he took out a box and put the robot in it. He removed its circuit core just in case it came alive again and became rogue once more. The scared boy quickly cleaned up the morbid mess of ripped robot pieces and put them in the box. He closed it and put it in the trash outside. He ran back to his garage and locked the door. He felt his heart beat at a thousand miles per hour and his hand tremble. This was never supposed to happen. He had never programmed his robots to be violent. Something had gone wrong in their system and he didn’t know what. He was so scared that he researched about it all night. He found no answer and felt dread wash over his whole body.

Two days later, Rui was at school as usual. The teacher had asked him to stay behind for a few minutes to discuss how the person he was helping in math class was doing. He texted Aoi and Kat to not wait for him since he didn’t know how long this little meeting would take. It turned out that it took only ten minutes because there was nothing much to say. Rui’s ‘student’ was doing way better now that he had the help he needed. The teacher was proud of the progress the student had made and thanked Rui for his help. Rui walked out of the classroom internally cursing out the teacher for wasting his time.

He walked to the cherry tree, not expecting anyone, and saw turquoise and cyan, merging together. Aoi… was kissing Kat. And it looked… so right. Aoi had his hand in her hair and her arms were wrapped around his neck. Their lips were locked onto each other. They were like two puzzle pieces; they fit so perfectly together.

Rui froze, unable to move or even breathe. He felt his eyes widen and muscles contort in horror. The pain in his heart was unmatched. It was unbearable and he could feel it through his whole body. He felt like he was dying. He didn’t know how he managed to stay standing on his feet.  

The two pulled away from each other and Aoi looked at her with a loving glint. His eyes were soft and shining. It was breathtaking how his eyes looked so pretty when he looked at her that way. It had been just as pretty when he had looked at Rui that way. He had been right to fear Kat stealing him from him.

Suddenly, Aoi saw him and his face also contorted in horror. Kat saw this and looked in Rui’s direction. 

“Oh, Rui! Hello! I hadn’t seen you there.” She giggled softly as if she hadn’t just helped in breaking his heart into irreparable pieces. His boyfriend looked at him guiltily but was scrutinizing his every move. “Guess this is as good a time as any to say that I’ve liked Aoi for a while now. It was love at first sight! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I was just scared you would tell him since you guys tell each other everything. I didn’t know if he liked me, but turns out he does!” He felt a trail of something wet down his cheek. “Eh? W-why are you crying?” Kat's entire mood changed and she approached him. She had a worried look in her eyes and wasn’t smiling anymore. He took a trembling step back. 

“W-why… why did you do this to me?” His voice cracked and he gasped for air. Rui felt insanely vulnerable as a tear ran down his other cheek. He didn’t know to whom he had asked the question; Aoi, Kat, Fate, himself? 

Aoi looked at him with a confusing look. Rui couldn’t decipher if he was mad at him, subtly threatening him or just exhausted. There was no more guilt in his eyes.  

“Rui…” Aoi said, sounding slightly menacing. Why was he reacting that way? As if Rui was about to ruin something for him. As if HE was the one getting in the way of his relationship, not HER.  

“W-what do you mean? What did I do? I’m sorry?” Kat said, confused and still approaching him with a pitying look. Why was she looking at him that way? As if she wasn’t the reason he was feeling heartbroken. As if she hadn’t just stolen the love of his life away from him.  

Why were they acting this way? As if Aoi hadn’t just cheated on him with someone Rui called a friend. 

As if he was the one overreacting.

As if he was the one that was acting strangely about this.

Something inside him broke. Like a river finally shattering a cracked dam, he felt all the hurt, anger, frustration, and sadness he had felt ever since he had found out his boyfriend had a soulmate that wasn’t him. His face contorted in anger and all the muscles in his body tensed up. 

“How fucking dare YOU! Did the past year mean nothing to you?” He directed his anger at Aoi first. His eyes were so wide, he probably looked crazy. His tears turned angry and ran down his face faster. 

“Rui, calm down bro.” Aoi still had that serious look on his face that said ‘Don’t ruin this for me’.  

Don’t ruin this for YOU? What about me?  He wanted to hysterically laugh in his face and tear his hair out.  

“Don’t you fucking ‘bro’ me,” he yelled.  

“You’re acting crazy for no reason. Did you take your meds?” Aoi rolled his eyes.  

“What did you just say?” Rui sharply hissed. 

“Oh no! Is that why you’ve had such mood swings? That’s horrible! Do you have your mood stabilizers with you?” Kat fretted. What was even happening? He didn’t even take any medication for anything; nothing physical or mental.  

“What are you even saying?” Rui said, flabbergasted.  

“Oh, um… Was that a secret? I’m sorry, I thought Aoi had told you that he had told me about your… um… disorder,” Kat nervously said and looked at Aoi. 

“Look man, you know I hate it when you do this. It can’t be that hard to take it every day. I get forgetting it once or twice but you’ve forgotten it quite a lot lately.” Aoi sighed. No way was he implying that Rui was mentally ill for acting the way he did. Of all of the actions he did to be called crazy, this was the one he chose? He thought it was a perfectly reasonable reaction; to get angry at this. 

“What? I take no medication and I’m not acting crazy!” he yelled and made Kat flinch. Aoi stepped in front of her. “This is a perfectly reasonable reaction to seeing your boyfriend kiss another woman!” He took a deep breath. 

“W-what? Your…” Kat said, shocked. 

“Okay, that’s enough. I’ve let that little crush of yours run free, but now you’ve gone too far. When is it going to stick in your head that I don’t feel the same? Stop thinking we are together and get back to reality. We are just friends!” his boyfriend (?) angrily replied arms closed tightly on his side. Rui’s body froze and he couldn’t hide the hurt in his eyes. He couldn’t believe this. How could he just dismiss all that they had? For almost a year too! The dates, the kisses under the shade, the words of love they had told each other; was it all for naught? Did it mean nothing… All that time… Wasted… All those emotions… For nothing… All… Everything… For… Nothing. 

Nothing at all. 

Had he dreamt this whole thing? That couldn’t be, right? He couldn’t be that delusional? Right? 

No. Of course not. That would be insane. This had truly happened. They had dated and loved each other for almost a year. He had to believe it. He shoved his right hand into his school uniform pants and clutched the little heart keychain Aoi had given him during their Furano trip. This was proof that they had been together. Not as friends, but as boyfriends.  

Aoi was messing with his head for some reason. 

“You’re lying,” Rui said dully. “I don’t care why anymore. You’ve lied to me this whole time, it seems. I told you that you should stop getting so close to her because I was scared this would happen. It did. You told me it wouldn’t. I believed you. You lied. You even said you would never do that because you would never want to put someone through what your dad put your mom through. You lied.” He didn’t scream or throw a fit or anything. He just stated everything with a blank look on his face. His heart had a numb spot in it and it was growing.  

Kat looked horrified and stepped away from Aoi. She had her hands covering her mouth in shock.  

“No… Rui… I…” she breathily said before being caught off. 

“Kat, don’t listen to him. He’s just being crazy again. I didn’t lie or anything. We were never together, understand? I don’t feel that way about you. Stop trying to ruin this for me. Aren’t you my friend? Shouldn’t you be happy that I’m going to be with someone?” Aoi had a fake look of desperation on his face. Rui couldn’t recognize the boy in front of him. He stared blankly in front of him, not reacting. The world seemed less bright than before. He took out the keychain and handed it to him. 

“Here, you can have this back. I don’t want it anymore. It just reminds me of when you told me you loved me.” He took a step back, unsmiling. He felt like he would never be able to smile again after this. Kat gasped and looked at him with an even more horrified look on her face.  

“Damn it! I guess I don’t have a choice but to say this since you won’t listen to reason and are so far up your delusions. I don’t love you like that. I never have and I never will,” Aoi said angrily. 

He didn’t think his heart could shatter even more. 

“Clearly,” Rui said in a monotone voice. “I hope you had fun wasting my time and playing with my heart. Hope that distracted you until you found something far better.” 

“You’re being so dramatic!” Aoi snapped. “You did this to yourself.” 

“Maybe.” Rui blinked slowly. “It doesn’t matter.” He turned to Kat. “Hope you enjoyed getting what you wanted out of me. I now know that you tried to befriend me only to get my boyfriend.” 

“Rui! I would-” Kat pushed Aoi away and tried to get closer to him.  

“I’m going home.” He took a step away from her. “I’m done. Don’t talk to me again. Both of you. Oh, and Kat, hope you have fun with your new boyfriend.” Rui turned around and left without looking back. He had been played. No, he was to blame for this situation. He had been arrogant enough to want to stay by his ex's side, even knowing the bastard had a soulmate. Rui even went as far as to try to separate them even if they were a fated pair. He knew this would happen, yet he thought their love could conquer fate. How foolish and naive! He deserved the heartbreak.  

The heartbroken teenager heard running behind him. 

“Rui! Wait!” Katie screamed. “Please, just hear me out!” Rui continued walking faster. 

“Kat, slow down,” the betrayer called out.  

“No, please! Rui, I’m sorry.” It changed nothing. What was done was done. She knew what she had done and there was no going back. She was probably doing this to rid her guilty conscience and sleep better at night. He didn’t care if she never slept again. He didn’t forgive her. “RUI! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know! I didn’t know you two were together!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. He could hear her sobbing. Rui stopped in his tracks but didn’t turn to face her.  

“I didn’t know, I swear! Please forgive me! I would have never kissed him or even fallen for him if I knew. I would never do this to a friend,” she hiccuped and sniffled. “Aoi never told me and you never did either. How was I supposed to know?”

“That’s because we were never together! Look what you’ve done! You planted this fake idea in her head now!” Aoi exclaimed. It seemed the only one in this situation who had been played was Katie.  

“Ah. He lied about that too. Seems he lied about many things. It doesn’t matter.” Rui continued to walk. He heard a thud signalling she had probably fallen to her knees. 

“Please…” she cried. 

“Kat!” Rui heard fast steps. 

“Don’t touch me!” A slap and someone running.  

Rui exited the school and went to the train station. It was just his luck that he had to wait ten minutes for it to arrive. He stared ahead and silenced his thoughts. The devestated boy didn’t want to risk breaking down in public. He had been humiliated enough for today. The train arrived and he boarded. Other people also came in with him. It was crowded so he had to stand up. He looked straight ahead at the door and could see his reflection in the little window. He had blank eyes that were slightly red from his earlier tears and was unsmiling. Rui reminded himself of his middle school self except he was a little better kept. He had promised himself he would never go back to the way he used to be. It was never meant to last. 

The way to his home went agonizingly slow and in a flash at the same time. He felt disoriented and not himself. Like a zombie, he walked towards his house, not remembering how he got off the train. He entered the main house for once since the garage was full of the stuff Aoi had gifted him. The pictures of them together, the plushies he had gifted him, the letters… He didn’t want a reminder of him. Not now. He would throw everything away another day.  

The dazed boy stepped inside and saw two additional pairs of shoes. He didn’t want to see anyone. But he had no choice because the alternative was worse. He didn’t even want to greet his parents, but they were in the living room talking with two familiar men. His uncles were visiting today, he had forgotten. Great. Now there were not one, but two full red strings in his face taunting him about how fate was absolute. 

They heard him enter and all greeted him happily. He nodded his head in acknowledgment and walked towards his room. It was rude, but he didn’t care. He had no energy to talk to anyone. He heard noises of confusion from all four adults and someone got up.  

“Rui, baby, what’s wrong?” His mother’s gentle voice called to him. She had always been there for him, even in his hardest times. She had let him cry on her lap as a child, on her shoulder as a teen and now, now he would cry again if she used that tone. He was hitting his limit on numbing his emotions. His shoulders shook and he grit his teeth to try and muffle the sobs that were trying to escape. His mother took a step and put her hand on his shoulder. Rui turned around and saw her concerned violet eyes glued on him. He tackled her in a hug and rested his head on her shoulder. He couldn’t keep it in anymore. He sobbed and shook and sniffled and cried. Tears stained his mother’s green shirt, but she didn’t seem to care. She brushed her hands through his hair in the same comforting manner as she always did and murmured sweet nothings. She coaxed him to the couch and he continued to cry until his eyes hurt. 

He calmed down and detached himself from his mother’s shoulder. He saw the three other adults looking very concerned. He probably looked awful; his hair was disheveled, his eyes bloodshot and snot running down his nose. He hadn’t meant to break down in front of them. 

“What the hell happened kid,” his uncle Hikaru said with indignation. It was his weird way of sounding concerned. Rui sniffled. 

“It’s… U-Utsuro.” He felt a wave of pain in his chest. “H-he… cheated on me.” The waterworks were back and he couldn’t help it. It hurt so much to admit.  

Everyone in the room was shocked and turned angry at his ex. They said some reassuring things, Hikaru said he would beat Utsuro up and just say the word and his parents felt guilty for ever letting him in the house… It was all cotton to his ears.  

Rui didn’t know why he felt so hurt. He had done this to himself. The string had been in front of him this whole time, reminding him that his time was ticking and he ignored it. He should have broken up with him the second he saw it. 

A wave of anger crashed into him. How was this his fault? He shushed the victim-blaming voice in his head and reminded himself that that bastard had been the one cheating on him. And called HIM crazy for being upset about it. That cheater could have chosen to not do that and break up with Rui instead! But he wanted both of them. Aoi was greedy. Rui hadn’t noticed before but he was. 

Even after all that had happened, he still loved him. It was fading, but still there. 

Rui had fallen for him, but in the end, Utsuro wasn’t there to catch him. So he crashed to the ground and hurt himself in the process. Hurt might be an understatement. He shattered like glass.  

The next day, he arrived at school numb. He decided to go to the rooftop until class started. The rooftop had always been there for him, especially in his times of need. He knew that Utsuro and Katie wouldn’t find him here which was good; he didn’t want to see either of them. Rui managed to go to his first two classes without seeing them. During the break, he quickly went to the rooftop. It was a good strategy and it seemed to work for a bit.  

During lunch break, he was unlucky. He got ambushed at the door by Kat who grabbed his arm just before he turned the corner to take the stairs to the rooftop and dragged him into an empty classroom.  

“We need to talk,” she started, with a serious look. 

“No.” He turned around to leave but she grabbed him again. Rui could have easily gotten away from her, but he felt too tired. He stared at the ground, unblinking.  

“Please, just listen.” She stopped and checked for confirmation. He didn’t say anything. “I’m sorry for yesterday. I didn’t know you two were together. I’m so, so sorry okay! You’re my friend and what I’ve done is the worst thing I could have done.” She shook his arm in distress. “He’s not my boyfriend and will never be. I told him that I don’t want to see him anymore either and that he’s a horrible person for playing with your heart.” Her voice was determined. Usually, he would be horrified if two soulmates ended up fighting, but now… it didn’t matter. They didn’t deserve to be together anyway. They deserved nothing.  

“But… that doesn’t change what I’ve done. And there’s no amount of sorries out there that can fix this. Can I do anything for your forgiveness?” she pleaded. He looked at her with his dead eyes and snatched his hand away. 

“Can you just… leave me alone,” he dully said. A flash of hurt graced her face for a moment but an understanding look replaced it soon after.  

“Y-yeah. I get that…” Her voice was soft. “I-if you ever want to talk… or rekindle our friendship… or anything, please just text me. Or call. Or come see me. Anything really…” The numb boy nodded in acknowledgment but stayed silent. He didn’t think he would ever do that. The hurt was a little too deep right now. He knew logically that it wasn’t her fault, but logic didn’t win over the sheer hurt he felt. 

She took a hesitant step back and gave him a weak smile. “Well… this is goodbye. It was nice getting to know you. I really enjoyed our time together.”  

“Goodbye, Bailey.” He walked towards the door. 

“See you, Rui…” He heard behind him.

The next day, Rui got ambushed again, but this time by someone different. Turquoise hair flashed in his face and he immediately turned around to run in the other direction. He was unlucky. Life hated him. 

“Ru~i!” He heard his name being sing-songed just as Utsuro would always do. He upped his pace. His ex had always been faster than him in short term sprints. The boy caught up to him way too fast and grabbed his arm. The genius student tried to pull away, but the grip was strong. Utsuro had always been stronger than him. It was a trait he admired. The boy went to the gym often and lifted quite a bit. Rui was strong physically too. He lifted many things to make his robots and props, but it was still not comparable to Utsuro. 

Chills ran down his spine as the grip tightened. If he wasn’t in the corridor with many witnesses, he would have been scared. This was a little reminiscent of when Utsuro had been jealous about a guy hitting on Rui. It was the same feeling, except that it felt very, very unsafe right now. 

“Please let me go,” Rui said sternly, not looking at him.

“Eh? I don’t think I’ll do that,” his ex said in a low voice. Rui got dragged into an empty classroom again. This was a way more terrifying experience than when Katie had done it. Utsuro let go of him and he stumbled on his feet. Rui got his balance back and kept a wide stance in case things went South. 

Utsuro looked behind him for a second and Rui took this chance to take a few steps back. 

“Look, about what happened two days ago,” the boy started. “I didn’t mean for you to see that.”

“Clearly,” the purple-haired genius deadpanned. 

“Ugh, that sounded wrong. I mean I wanted to tell you about it before you discovered it.” The bastard scratched the back of his head. “Look, okay, I would never cheat on you. You know my history and I would never do that to someone. You know my history! I just wanted us to be together. All three of us.” How dare he? The three of them? So, Utsuro loving someone other than Rui was okay, but not Rui loving his friend in a platonic manner? He was reminded of how his ex had forced him to choose between Mizuki and him because he was scared that Rui would leave him for some reason. It made his blood boil at the hypocrisy. 

“And you thought I would accept that?” Rui asked, gritting his teeth. 

“Of course you would. You promised to never leave me and you like Kat,” he continued to run with his delusion. Rui blinked and sighed.

“I don’t like her enough to share you. Besides, you acted like we weren’t together and even told her I was crazy.” 

“Well, that’s because I knew Kat wouldn’t be open to us three being together like that yet. You, it was fine because you promised to never leave me no matter what, so I was trying to get her to like me, then you. I was warming her up to the concept, but you ruined it.” Aoi was angry at Rui. The numb boy wasn’t having it. Mizuki’s words rang in his head. 

He’s manipulating you.

They were right. He had decided to ignore them and let go of their friendship, now here he was. What an absolute fool he was! They were right, he was stupid. He let his foolish heart take over his thoughts for a year and this was the result. Never again. He would never listen to the idiotic ramblings of his heart if this was the result. 

“So, you wanted to manipulate her into this just like you were trying to do to me?” Rui stood his ground and looked Utsuro straight in the eyes.

“Manipulate? Ru~i, that’s a really harsh word and not true! I don’t manipulate, you know that. I was trying to do what was best for us.” The bastard dropped his anger which turned silent once more. Rui wasn’t deterred.

“Stop the bullshit. If you weren’t trying to manipulate us, you would have been honest from the start. You never told me about this anyways and I would have said no.” He was tired of this conversation. 

“That is why I didn’t want to tell you. God, you get jealous so easily even when I proved to you that I love you and would never leave you. I know I should have told you and I’m sorry. So please forgive me,” Utsuro said with a fake genuine look. The asshole had a small smile and his eyes were shining, as if he believed Rui would immediately fall back into his arms. 

“I won’t,” the yellow-eyed teenager simply said.

“Come on! I’m trying to make it up to you! I’m trying to repair this. I’ve forgiven you when you made mistakes and hurt me, so why won’t you do the same?” Utsuro snapped and took a step forward. His eyes were wide and slightly scary.

“This isn’t just ‘some mistake’. You very clearly kissed someone else, someone I told you to stop getting so close to because I had a feeling something like this might happen. And it did,” Rui sharply said, glaring at him.

“Then, if you knew, why are you so upset?” Utsuro rolled his eyes. Rui didn’t even know what to say. How could he even explain this? He could barely put his emotions into words. 

“Because you still went ahead and did it despite me voicing my concerns. You dismissed me when I said that I was scared that you might start falling for her. No, you falling for her isn’t the problem, it’s you kissing her while we were still together.”

“Ugh, what do you mean ‘were’. We’re still together.”

“Oh, did I not make myself clear? When I said I’m done, I meant I’m done with you. As in it’s over, donzo, finished. We are breaking up!” 

“Don’t be like that! We can fix this. You just have to forgive my mistake and we can move on as we’ve always have. Remember when you flirted with that guy at the bar? I forgave you that time. You should do the same for me.”

“Are you serious? I never ‘flirted’ with that guy. He asked if he could buy me a drink and I didn’t know it meant he wanted something else. We had a friendly conversation. That’s not flirting! And I’m not going to forgive you!” 

“Ugh, I’ll let you think about it for a few days when your head is cleared. Then we can go back to how it was before.”

“Utsuro, let me make this very, very clear. We. Are. Breaking. Up. There’s nothing you say that can fix the betrayal I felt when you cheated on me.”

“Dammit! No, we’re not! You promised me you would never leave! Did that promise mean nothing to you?” Utsuro was getting angry and heated. His words were erratic and he was getting scarily close to Rui who had hit the wall. 

“You were the one who broke your promise first. Clearly, they mean nothing to  you, ” he said with venom. His words didn't have the effect he wanted them to have since he knew his eyes betrayed how scared he was. Rui looked around for an escape route, but he found that the only way out was to force his way. Utsuro had put both arms on the wall, blocking Rui’s escape. 

“I didn’t! I would never leave you for her! We could all be happy, the three of us!” He looked desperate. Suddenly, he froze and his eyes looked at him sweetly. “You know what? I’ll give you two days. You won’t last two days without me.”

“W-what? What do you mean?” He didn’t like the sound of that. Was Utsuro implying… that Rui was dependent on him?

“I give it two days and you’ll be crawling back to me. Because you love me. And because I love you. You may say that we’re ‘breaking up’ but you won’t survive without me.” Utsuro’s words were chilling. He said all of that with a little smirk. Rui was frozen in place until anger overtook him.

“You… You’re wrong. I won’t be crawling back and I don’t love you anymore.” That was a lie. A very big one at that. Because, even if Utsuro had betrayed him and broken his heart, Rui couldn’t fall out of love that fast. He wished he did. “I mean it. We are breaking up and I’m not coming back.”

Utsuro had the audacity to laugh in his face. Rui’s blood boiled. 

“We’ll see about that. Besides, we both know that you’ll have no choice but to come back. Because I love you. And no one else does or even will. If they say they do, they are lying to you. They won’t ever love you like I do,” Utsuro chillingly said and walked away, leaving Rui alone and shaking. He took a few deep breaths and continued with his day, trying his best not to think about this chilling conversation. He had been told multiple times before that he was unlovable, he wasn’t about to believe it completely now that his ex-boyfriend told him. This was clearly a manipulation tactic. Rui was smarter than this, he would not give in to Utsuro’s demands. Just because he had fallen for his manipulation before didn’t mean he would again. Fool him once, shame on you. Utsuro can’t fool him twice.

So, for the next few days, Rui was cautious and avoided Utsuro. It worked because his ex was also avoiding him. The boy probably thought Rui was weak and would come back to him. Too bad Rui grew a backbone because of the pain he felt when he saw Utsuro and Bailey kiss. He went to school with his head held high even if he felt like he was going to crumble. 

It was painful. Painful being back to being alone. It reminded him of worse times. He still pushed on, no matter what his brain told him. No matter how much his thoughts kept turning dark. No matter how much he wanted to go back to Utsuro just so the pain and emptiness of being alone would disappear. 

His spine was still straight as he walked into the corridors at school and the whispers got louder. The people at his school had started staring at him and whispering nasty things again. Not just about him, he heard them whispering about how Kat was a ‘slut’ and other derogatory things about her. Rui was simply seen as a weirdo, a creep, and a… girlfriend stealer? It had made him stop in his tracks the first time he heard whispers of that rumor. It turned out that there was a rumor saying that Utsuro and Kat had been together and that Kat cheated on Utsuro… with him. He had almost laughed when he had heard that. 

He just had to ignore the whispers and the stares and continue on with his schooling. Rui was glad that the whispers would only stay whispers and not turn physical. He knew the people at this school were too scared of being kicked out to waste their time hitting or kicking him. 

Three days passed after the conversation with Utsuro and Rui was proud of himself. He was now confident that he would not fold to Utsuro’s demands since he had enough self-respect not to.

He thought he was safe and that his ex would leave him alone now that Rui had proved that he would not give in. He was wrong. 

That day, he took the train back home as usual, but he took it later since he still had to help that stupid kid in math class. He was walking towards his house and he passed his childhood park where he and Nene used to play all the time. It always made him nostalgic to see it. It reminded him of better times. 

Someone grabbed his hand.

He turned around, heart having stopped, and saw turquoise hair. What was Utsuro doing here? His sky-blue eyes were frowned and his grip was tight. 

“So, you think you won this little game of ours, huh?” Utsuro started, voice sharp. Rui was not having it and took back his arm. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about and I don’t care. I made it clear, didn’t I? We broke up and I never want to see you again,” Rui replied coldly. 

“Yeah, about that. That won’t be happening. You promised to stay with me forever and I’m not letting you break that promise.” Utsuro looked a little smug, yet menacing. Rui unconsciously stepped back.

“Well, too bad. I’m breaking that promise. I don’t care. I’m not staying with you when you cheated on me.” He stood his ground. 

“It’s not cheating. It was a kiss. And besides, I told you we could be together, all three of us. Let’s not have this conversation again.” Utsuro’s voice was firm. His sky-blue eyes which used to look like the morning sky seemed to resemble the night’s sky. 

“And I told you that I refuse to do that! I don’t want to be in a relationship with you and Kat. I only wanted to be with you! But you don’t want that.”

“You’re being selfish.”

“I’M selfish?  Me ? Is it really selfish to want my BOYFRIEND to only love  me  and be loyal to  me ?” Rui was getting agitated and his fists were trembling. “I don’t know much about relationships, but I know one thing; it’s basic decency for you to be loyal to me and not cheat on me. And I’ve read a little on polygamy; it’s supposed to be something we both want! And I don’t!”

“It is selfish of you. It is because for once in my life, I was happy. I was happy and I loved both of you. I wanted you both, is that too much to ask? After everything I’ve been through, is that too much?” Utsuro grabbed his arm again and Rui pushed him away. “I don’t think it is.”

“It is! And I’m done with this! I’m done with you! I don’t want to see you ever again!” Rui turned around to leave.

“Stay alone forever then.” Rui stopped in his tracks. “Go on, leave me. See how miserable your life really is. Without me, you have no one. You’ll be alone at school and you have no one outside of school. See how long you last being alone and happy. You won’t.”

“S-shut up! I will leave! I’ve been alone my whole life. Do you think this is any different? It’s not, don’t be cocky.” Rui did his best to sound unaffected. Utsuro’s words rang true after all. He hated being alone, but he had to. Just because it was routine didn’t mean he was okay with it.

“Oh, and don’t think you’ll ever find someone who loves you again.” Rui felt cold. His words stung. “No one will ever love you again. I’m the only one who did. You’re too fucked up for anyone to love.” That made Rui tense up. The words kept echoing in his head. His heart felt like it had stopped as the words kept ringing and ringing and ringing.

As if anyone could like a freak like you.

See, he admits that he’s a weirdo.

You weren’t born right.

What’s wrong with you?

I don’t know what my poor sister did in life to get such a messed up and mentally ill child.

You should be sent to a mental institute.

You don’t fit in.

Creep

Weirdo

Freak

No one will ever love you.

Rui took many deep breaths to calm his thoughts. His eyes were watery, but he refused to let the tears fall in front of Utsuro. He refused to show how much his words had affected him. He knew it was not true. Rui had a soulmate out there. That was the only thing that made him cling to the hope that he was lovable. That someone out there could love a freak like him. 

“But that’s okay because I’m also fucked up. Just. Like. You. And I love you, no matter how fucked up you are in the head. So why would you leave the only person who will ever love you?” Utsuro had a predatory smile on his face. He knew how to hurt Rui in the most painful ways.

“That’s not fucking true! That’s not true! You’re not the only one who could ever love me!” Rui snapped.

“Don’t delude yourself.” Utsuro sharply said to ‘humble’ him. As if it would make Rui even remotely grateful to him.

“I’m done with your manipulations. You’re desperate and you want to hurt me so that I will come back. I won’t.” Rui’s thoughts were back in order. He started walking away, but Utsuro grabbed his arm tightly. 

“You will.”

Rui was annoyed and didn’t give him a response.

“I’ll show you just what you’ll be missing for the rest of your sad pathetic little life without me.” The bastard used one hand to brush one of his purple strands of hair. He dragged his hand down to his cheek. Rui slapped it away and felt bad shivers running down his spine. Utsuro’s demeanor went from intimidating to loving. It was scary how he could act so differently in just a few seconds. His eyes became soft and he smiled.

“Ru~i, I love you,” he said in a low voice that used to make his insides full of butterflies. The butterflies had died, he only felt his stomach churn in disgust. "Won’t you say it back?”

“No!” Rui snapped. He needed to escape. Utsuro was way too close and it was starting to make him panic. He didn’t want him. He didn’t love him. He hated him. Utsuro had betrayed him and shattered his heart beyond repair. No amount of sweet talking would ever make him forget. 

“Aw, let’s not be like that. I know, words mean nothing, so I have to show you.” Utsuro took a step closer. Rui felt his body heat and their legs touching. He tried to take a step back but the asshole tripped him and caught him. His ex squeezed his waist painfully. It would probably leave a bruise. Rui tried looking anywhere but at him. He needed an out. Utsuro grabbed his chin firmly and forced them to make eye contact. Rui tried to squirm out of his grip even if it meant falling to the ground. It didn’t work. He was stuck. Suddenly their height seemed different. Almost like Utsuro was looking at him from above, towering over his frame. His knees were weak and he felt like he was falling. He continued to struggle but Utsuro put both of his arms around Rui so he wouldn’t escape. Why was he so freakishly strong? Utsuro approached his face closer to Rui’s until they were inches apart. Rui could feel the boy’s breath on his lips. It was warm. He used to like the teasing before a real kiss, but now it sent dread down his entire body. He stopped breathing, eyes wide with fear. Utsuro had a predatory glint in his eyes.

Rui had always considered himself strong, always considered himself tall. But with Utsuro in front of him, about to kiss him, everything was thrown out the window. He felt frail, tiny, afraid. He didn’t want this. He needed out. 

Utsuro grabbed his other arm and pinned it to the wall. He was like a fly stuck to a web, unable to escape. 

No

Leave me alone

I don’t want this

Not anymore

Go away

No

Please

Help

Utsuro closed the gap between them. Their lips locked. He tasted mint as a tongue forced itself into his mouth. He gagged. This felt so wrong, bitter, and disgusting. He used to love this. Now it made him want to puke. The grip on his arm was still strong even as he squirmed and struggled harder. He couldn’t take any steps back or even try to pull away. He was helpless. He felt his eyes water and that fucker’s closed eyes and face blur. 

His instincts kicked in. Rui kicked the other in the chin, loosening the grip and making him pull away from the kiss. He then pushed away the other, both of them fell to the ground with a thud and he ran as fast as he could like a desperate animal. He couldn’t feel his legs as he entered his garage since they were shaking. He slammed the door closed after he entered and felt a wave of safety. He immediately fell to the ground on his knees and started sobbing. All he could feel was the feeling of wrong, wrong, wrongness. It swirled in his head. 

Why? Why, why, why, why? 

Why had this happened? 

He shifted himself into a ball and put his head on his knees. His whole body was trembling and the part of his pants on his knees was getting wet. It was just a kiss, they had shared those many times. So, why did it feel so wrong? 

Rui tried to force himself to sleep so that his thoughts would stop screaming how wrong he felt. It didn’t work. They kept spiraling out of control and making him nauseous. The taste of mint was lingering so he tried washing it off. No matter if he brushed his teeth, drank a lot of water, or used mouthwash, all of which weren’t mint flavored, the taste was still very present. Nothing was working! He was getting closer and closer to puking even if he was drinking ice-cold water to try to reduce the nausea. He couldn’t help but recall how scared he had been when he hadn’t known Utsuro was simply going to kiss him. 

He couldn’t sleep. The entire night could only be called a nightmare. He didn’t want to go back to school. He was reminded that he had kicked and pushed Utsuro when trying to escape, and he would be mad at him. Now, he really didn’t know what that bastard would do to him. Would Utsuro beat him up, kiss him again pin him to the wall, humiliate him? So many possibilities, it was too scary. He didn’t want to be kissed, beaten up, humiliated. Rui wanted to be left alone. 

Wait… why did he think Utsuro would do these things? He had been kind and loving to Rui before, so why would the purple-haired boy fear such things?

Unconsciously, he knew his fears were valid and based on things he had ignored before.

Utsuro was a determined person. He usually always got what he wanted. And if he wanted Rui to come back, the bastard would do anything. 

Anything…

And that scared him.

The next day, Rui decided to not go to school to prepare himself mentally for what would happen. He couldn’t avoid Utsuro forever. The boy would be looking for him just as he had the day before. The heartbroken teenager was scared of being ambushed again. He needed a plan. 

So, he told his mom that he was feeling sick. She let him stay home, asked him if he wanted her to take the day off which he refused, and told him to call her if anything happened. Rui went back to his garage to plop on his bed. He brainstormed how to avoid Utsuro. He could always go to the rooftop during his breaks right after the bell rang, but it was simply a temporary solution. 

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing. Rui looked and saw that it was Utsuro’s contact. Still with the same cringy nickname and emojis. He looked at it with disgust and didn’t answer. The yellow-eyed teenager opened his phone to delete the contact and block him but, just before he deleted his ex for good, he saw that there were about 100 unread messages. He had been too distraught in the past few days to look at them, so he had ignored the buzzing from his phone. He reluctantly opened them up and was bombarded by messages. Some love messages saying Utsuro was sorry and that he loved him. Some explain why he did it. Some asked him to meet up so he could explain better. Some begging for his forgiveness.

But there were a lot of threatening messages too. It was strange and frankly horrifying how many messages were about how Utsuro would kill himself or hurt himself if Rui didn’t come back. How Rui had broken their promise and was betraying him. How Utsuro knew where Rui lived and would barge in if he didn’t answer the phone. 

Rui didn’t know what to do; he should have never opened the messages. He was trembling and cold sweat ran down his back. He wasn’t sure which threats were real and which ones Utsuro would actually go through with. Rui wished it was none. He didn’t want his ex to die or hurt himself and he didn’t want to be hurt or killed either. 

The safest route would be to give Utsuro another chance. That was what the boy wanted and that was how Rui would make sure no one would get hurt. He didn’t want anyone hurt ever. Violence and injuries scared him a lot when they were acted out in real life. He was mostly a peaceful person who preferred not to fight. So, he just needed to text Utsuro that he would give him another chance and this would all be solved.

But no. That was completely stupid. Rui couldn’t just cave in because of a few threats. The bastard would do it again, that was fate. Kat was his soulmate, so he would want to be with her too. Just like he had said before. Utsuro wanted both Kat and him, but Rui could never be okay with that. He was selfish and wanted a boyfriend to himself. And so, if he went back, he would be miserable. Probably worse than when he had been in middle school. 

The poor boy was conflicted, so much so that his head started to hurt. He still had no idea what he should do to make the situation better so that no one would get hurt. He had no one anymore who could help him and give him advice. Mizuki would never want to talk to him. He had been horrible to them and he deserved to be hated by them. He had no one anymore.

Well, that was untrue; Rui still had his parents and uncles. He could ask them for advice on this and, since they had more life experience than him, they would help him. 

But Rui was a genius. He had never asked his parents for any advice ever since he had turned nine. He didn’t need it. He never needed help for anything. No, that was not true. He had needed help, but he had never asked for it. Rui was an independent and smart kid. Why would he ever ask anyone for help when he could eventually find a solution to his problem himself? Sure, he could struggle, but that was life. Why would he burden others with his problems when he knew that he could eventually solve them himself? He had all the brainpower to do so, so why couldn’t he this time?

Back when he had attempted for the first time, his mother had confessed to him that she had thought that he would have been able to find a solution to his depression by himself. She had said that she too had gone through similar hardship as a child and had been down about it for a long time. Her parents and sister had never helped her, but she had managed to find a way to somewhat heal, so she believed he would too. It had made her stronger to go through such things by herself, she said. His mother had cried at his bedside about how she was a horrible mother for not helping him. She told him of how she had been wrong about thinking they were exactly the same and that she should have done something. 

Ever since that day, his mother had tried her best to help him in her quirky little way. She stopped forcing vegetables on him for a little while, asked to go out with him more often for some mother-son bonding time, went to see him in his garage more often… She had paid for his therapy. It hadn’t lasted long because he had refused to go and she could not force him.

His first attempt had been like a blow to his ego. Rui Kamishiro was an independent genius who didn’t need help for his problems. Not even from his own family. So her attempts at ‘helping him’ had not helped, they had made him on edge most times. At the time, he had been so down in the dumps, so in his head, that he had not realized that his mother was right. He couldn’t always solve his problems on his own. Even if he was a genius, he was not a genius of the heart. And, he was also still a child, even if he could solve mathematical problems most adults could never. 

His arms were trembling as he called his mother. He hadn’t even realized that he had done so. As he waited for her to answer, he started regretting his actions. She was at work and he was disturbing her. He didn’t have time to reach the end call button before she answered:

“Rui, baby, what’s wrong? You never call me when I’m at work. Are you okay? Are you too sick? Should I come back home?” his mother spat out question after question.

“Um… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called. I don’t know what came over me. I’m bothering you at work. I’ll talk to you later.” He didn’t know why he was so nervous. This was his mother after all. She never judged him for anything. She wouldn’t judge him if he asked her for help in this situation, especially since she always told him that she was there for him.

“Wait, don’t end the call. You’re never a bother to me, baby. Now please tell your poor mother what’s wrong before I come back home myself to see. Please tell me you haven’t burnt the whole house to the ground,” she joked but her tone was worried. 

“It’s just… I received these strange texts from Utsuro and I’m not sure what to do.” Rui bit his bottom lip.

“Utsuro? You haven’t blocked him yet?” She sounded curious, but not judgemental.

“Um… well I was about to, but I saw that he had sent me 100 messages and I got curious and opened them.”

“100???” she exclaimed. “That’s a lot! Baby, can you send me some of these ‘strange’ messages so that I can understand what you mean and help you?

Rui took a screenshot of the threatening messages and sent them to her. She was silent for a while; he almost wondered if she was still on the phone. He was about to ask her if she was still there when she spoke.

“I’m coming back home immediately.” She sounded very scared. He heard rapid footsteps and some talking.

“W-wait, there’s no need for that. I’m perfectly fine. Nothing is happening either and it’s probably just false threats to bait me into coming back,” Rui nervously justified.

“I’m not taking any risk.” He could hear her fast movements as she grabbed her things. “Stay on the line until I come back home. We are going to see the police with this.” 

The police? For vague threats? That was absurd! There was no need to go that far. It was just words for now. 

“There’s really no need to do that. I mean, would the police even take our case seriously. It’s not criminal, I think.” Rui really didn’t want to make his situation worse by escalating it. Utsuro would be more mad and more likely to go ahead with his threats. 

“Rui, listen to me.” She had the dead serious mother voice that she used when things were really bad. Rui didn’t understand why she was using it. Things were bad, sure, but they could be worse. Simple threats did not mean they had to go to those extremes, right? “I am not risking losing you because of some idiotic threats some boy you dated made. I’d rather play it safe because some people do, indeed, go ahead with these threats and make it a reality. I am not letting him hurt you and that’s final.” 

Rui didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure that it was as serious as she made it out to be, but if it made her feel safer, he would let her do as she pleased. Maybe Utsuro wouldn’t be so mad?

Later, when she finally arrived back home, the two of them went to the police station and showed them the threats. Of course, no one took them seriously and his mother was pissed. A police officer told them that teenagers made threats like these all the time as jokes and to ignore them. Well, Rui wasn’t surprised. The authorities rarely ever took anything anything that had to do with him seriously unless he was the one causing trouble. 

His mother tried to protest, but the officers kicked them out eventually. She was fuming and asked that Rui block Utsuro’s number right that second, which he did without remorse. 

His mother told him that he was to stay in the main house until this whole affair was resolved. He went to bring his things back to his old room in the main house without protest. He didn’t dare even think about defying her; she was scary when angered. His father came back home and she told her everything. He was horrified and said that he would try to talk to the police again, just in case. They also did not take him seriously, of course. 

There was nothing they could do for now. Perhaps these threats meant nothing and blocking him had been the right move. Rui would only know as the days went on. 

And so started a strange trend where Rui received threatening messages from anonymous and random numbers. The first time it had happened, he had shown his parents who had told him to take a screenshot and block him. It happened again and he blocked the number once more. The next day, the numbers quickly changed and he received threatening message after threatening message. He kept blocking the numbers, but another one popped up. The messages said things like ‘Don’t make me angry’, ‘Answer or I’ll come to your house’, ‘If you don’t come back to me, I’ll kill myself’, ‘Don’t forget that I know where you live and that I could come over’...

‘I’m coming over’ was the last message Rui received before he heard a knock. It was a soft knock, but he knew exactly who it was. He forgot how to breathe. He didn’t know what Utsuro wanted to accomplish by coming to his house. It certainly wasn’t a productive discussion, that was for sure. He tiptoed his way to the stairs to overhear what was happening. His father had opened the door and Rui knew that he probably looked frustrated. His heart was the only thing he could hear for now until the once lovely voice from his ex reached his ears.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Kamishiro. Is Ru~i here?” the betrayer sweetly said, as if he hadn’t threatened Rui. The purple-haired teenager could just imagine the fake bright smile and friendly posture his ex had put on to convince Rui’s father that nothing was wrong. His father knew of the situation, and he would never let Utsuro back into their house ever again. 

“No,” his father simply said, disdain showing in his voice. 

“Aww, really?” Utsuro's grating ‘sweet’ voice made him want to puke.

“Yes, now please leave.” His father probably looked calm, but Rui knew that internally, he was fuming. 

“You don’t have to lie, Mr. Kamishiro. I know Rui’s here. I just want to talk to him, can’t you just let me do that?” Utsuro infuriated Rui. the bastard was smart and he was cunning. Utsuro always got what he wanted. 

Too bad Rui was also smart. He was not going to give in to Utsuro’s demands. Not after having his heart broken into irreparable pieces. 

“No. You should leave.” His father was not budging.

“Eh? Come on. Please. Just a few minutes. I just need to explain something to him. It’s all a misunderstanding, I swear.” Rui could almost hear Utsuro getting angry, but trying to keep his good-boy act intact. It would not work on his father who knew what had happened. 

“No. Please leave now.” His father sternly said. It seemed he was losing his patience with Utsuro.

“Wait. Just please give me a teeny tiny chance to talk to him. I swear it won’t take long.” 

“No.” Slam from the door. Rui could finally breathe from his spot on the staircase. He slumped on the wall in relief as Utsuro left…

Knock knock knock.

“Open the door! Rui, please just listen to me! You promised you would never leave me! You lied! But that’s okay because if you come back now, I’ll forgive you. We can go back to how it was and be happy.” Rui could hear Utsuro’s screams muffled behind the door. The banging on the door was frantic, it made Rui’s heart drum in his chest. He tried to stop his hands from shaking by putting them closer to himself, but it seemed he couldn’t control his own body.

“If you don’t leave right this instant, I’m calling the police,” Rui’s dad screamed back, furious. His voice was loud and commanding. Rui had never heard him ever raise his voice like that before. 

“Rui, just because you think you can give up on us doesn’t mean I will! I’ll be back and I’ll get you back! Whether you like it or not! You promised we were forever after all.” It was silent after that. Rui could only hear his harsh breathing and the blood in his ears. His eyes were blurry and he wrapped his arms around his bent legs. Comforting arms embraced him. He turned to the person and saw his mother. She was looking at him softly but without a trace of a smile on her face. She coaxed him into her arms and gently brushed his hair with her comforting hand. 

They stayed in silence for a little bit until his father came up and joined in the hug. Rui's eyes were still blurry, but he refused to cry over something like this. Utsuro didn’t deserve his tears. 

His father promised him that he would never let Utsuro in. His mother comforted him and told him that she would make sure he was safe. He believed them. 

But, there was nothing they could do, really. Except pull him out of school and find another one for him. Which they did, but transferring schools took time.

Utsuro was a stubborn guy. The next day, he came back to their house and pleaded with them to open the door. His father didn’t let him in as he had promised. They called the police, but Utsuro was gone. It happened at least once per day, sometimes more. The boy came to their door, knocked like a maniac, and yelled at them to open up. He sometimes begged and cried for Rui’s forgiveness. He angrily screamed insults until either his parents or the neighbors called the police. That was when he left to evade them. The police officers were tired of the constant calls they got to come to their house. They eventually stopped responding to the calls, which was most likely illegal in Rui’s opinion, but what could they do?

The purple-haired boy kept receiving so many texts from burner numbers that he couldn’t trace back. He knew it was Utsuro who was texting him and occasionally calling him, but he couldn’t prove it to anyone. He even tried to change his number. Utsuro found it somehow and Rui decided to turn off his phone. The harasser started sending him emails. He stopped looking at his emails. Utsuro sent him messages on nightcord. He deleted the account. At some point, the poor helpless teenager stopped using his electronics altogether just in case that asshole found another way to reach him. 

His parents had decided to take shifts on who was staying home with him during the day just in case Utsuro would come. One day, it was his mother, and the other, his father. They were only able to keep this charade for two weeks before being forced back to work. In the meantime, they always stayed close to him to make sure he wasn’t taking the situation too badly. They would hug him and reassure him often and he appreciated it, but there was only so much they could do. He couldn’t help but feel scared. He dreaded the day Utsuro would find a way to get in. Rui didn’t want to think about what would happen, not only to him, but his parents also. He couldn’t sleep well at night, couldn’t let himself read in peace, couldn’t watch shows. His thoughts were too distracting and scary. He didn’t feel safe anymore. His heart kept beating rapidly, his muscles were tense and the slightest sound from outside made him jump. 

He wasn’t the only one who wasn’t faring well. Even if his parents were trying their best to stay strong, he could see the dark bags under his mother’s eyes and the way his father’s smiles were tense. They too felt helpless in this situation. Rui felt horrible for having dragged them into this. 

One day, his father came home with tiny cameras. He set one up in the front of the house and one in the backyard. His father looked confident that they would finally have enough evidence to show the police so that their case could be taken seriously. 

He was wrong.

Later that day, they heard a loud crash. Rui started panicking and ran to his mother in tears. Had Utsuro finally decided to break in? His whole body was shaking as his mother wrapped her arms protectively around him. She looked serious and walked them towards a closet. Not long after, they heard another crash sound. Rui’s heart was beating out of his chest as he held tighter onto his mother. He could hear her loud heartbeat too, but she looked calm. She hid him behind her so that if anyone came in, they would have to go through her to go to him. He was quietly crying and holding his breath, head buried in his mother’s chest as she softly stroked his hair to calm him down.

They heard frantic knocking and yelling. It came from outside, but they couldn’t be sure so they stayed inside the closet for an hour until the shouting stopped. They still stayed in the closet, scared that this was a ruse and that Utsuro was just waiting for them to come out. Rui was trembling and barely breathing.

After a while of hiding in the closet, they heard the door unlock and open. Rui started to panic again and his mother’s grip on him tightened. Steps could be heard and the masculine voice of his father accompanied it. They collectively sighed in relief and got out of their hiding place. They ran to his father and embraced him. Rui was crying in fear and panic as his mother told him of what had happened. His father was furious and went to look at the cameras. 

The cameras were broken.

They never used cameras again. It was useless. Utsuro had broken them by throwing a rock from afar.

The straw that broke the camel’s back happened when his uncles were visiting. It had been a month since they last visited and he was happy to see them as usual. They knew of the situation relatively, but Rui didn’t want to involve them. Although the boy was having a relatively good time with his uncles, there was always this fear in the back of his head that Utsuro would come knocking on their door. 

And he did. 

Well… not exactly.

Crash!

Rui had never screamed so loud when the window in their living room shattered into pieces. Luckily, no one got hurt, but there was glass everywhere in the living room where they were sitting. His mother immediately went to him and protectfully wrapped her arms around him. 

He had tears in his eyes as he saw a blurry mop of turquoise hair and shining dangerous sky-blue eyes. His harasser had made it inside by climbing the window. Rui whimpered in fear as he saw what the boy had in his hand. It was a pointy shard of glass pointing at them. His ex was gripping it tightly, making his hand bleed, but he didn’t even flinch. 

As everyone in the room saw the shiny pointy piece of glass in that psycho’s hand, the men got up and were on their guards. Hikaru was the one most in front, putting himself at arm’s length. He was a gruff and strong man who didn’t fear anything. Hikaru had once wrestled an alligator in Florida during one of his research trips, a simple shard of glass was nothing to him. 

“Utsuro, let go of that shard of glass,” his uncle Hikaru said in a menacing voice.

“Oh, Mr Kamishiro, Mr Sato, I didn’t know you were here.” Utsuro was smiling, but he had a sort of dark aura. 

“Enough with the pleasantries, drop the shard of glass, and leave. You can’t just break in here.” Rui’s father had hard eyes.

“Sorry for the window, Mr Kamishiro. I’m just tired of waiting for you to open the door.” His voice was playful, but something in his eyes made Rui’s breath pick up. “I just want to see my dear Ru~i and talk to him for a bit. Is that so bad? I’ve waited so long.” Utsuro took a step towards them, blood dripping on the floor. Rui flinched and his mother held him tighter. 

Hikaru didn’t budge. He actually took a step closer to Utsuro and looked like he was towering over him. His uncle was a very scary man when he wanted to. That took Utsuro by surprise.

“Listen here, child. I will not have you threaten my family, are we clear? You will not approach my nephew or even come back here.” His uncle’s voice was very deep. “You think a puny shard of glass scares me? Please, I work with the most venomous spiders in the world. I own a tarantula, study black widows and my favorite species is Atrax robustus.” Utsuro’s eyes widened. His uncle’s words had scared him. He took a step back. 

“You see, I’m not afraid to kill a child. If you threaten my family and even think of going through with it, I’ll kill you and gladly go to jail for child manslaughter. I don’t care if, for the rest of my life, I’m stuck inside a tiny room with metal bars. You will NOT hurt my family, are we clear?” His uncle’s voice was the only thing resonating in the room. Even Rui’s heartbeat could not drown it. He heard glass shatter again and squeaked, closing his eyes and burying his face in his mother’s chest. There were loud and rapid steps slowly going away. Rui detached himself from his mother and looked at what had happened. 

Utsuro was gone. 

His uncle had managed to scare him away. His family all came to make sure he was okay and hugged him tightly. His uncle Hikaru was still extremely pissed and agitated, but he softly looked at Rui. It made him break down in tears. He felt so helpless and afraid. He wished he could go back to feeling safe in his own house.

They eventually decided to clean the mess of glass pieces on the ground. His uncles decided to stay for two days before they had to go back to work. During those days, they repaired the window and made sure Rui was safe. Utsuro didn’t come during that time.

But that bastard would come back when his uncles left.

Utsuro was only scared of Hikaru, so he would attempt to break in again. He would probably succeed in getting to Rui the next time. And then… what would happen to him? Or even worse, what would happen to his parents? Rui couldn’t rest, couldn’t eat, couldn’t get up as his thoughts were consumed with images of his dead parents and Utsuro with a bloody shard of glass.

It only took Rui two days to break down. His uncles had left that morning, but before they did, they suggested to his parents that the three of them come live at their apartment for a while until Utsuro left them alone. Rui thought they were naive to think his ex would give up that easily, but his parents agreed and said they would pack tonight and leave tomorrow. His uncles left and his parents reluctantly had to go to work, telling him to pack his things.

It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter anymore. He wasn’t safe there either. He wasn’t safe at school, or safe at home. Utsuro would probably eventually find him at his uncles' house. And then they too would be in danger. Just like his parents. They were in danger. He didn’t want them to die. He needed to save them somehow. Prevent them from dying. 

Rui was tired. Tired of this. But he would rather die than go back with that piece of shit. 

He would rather…  die  than go back with him. 

Maybe that was the solution all along. It wasn’t like there was much left for him anyway. People at school had started hating him and that guy kept stalking and harassing him. He had enough. There was only so much he could take before snapping. 

He entered his garage and slammed the door. Would that asshole come by today? Where would he try to enter, the door, the window? It didn’t matter. Even if he called the police, they could do nothing since Utsuro was always gone by the time they arrived. It was useless to run. Useless to hide. At some point, maybe the only option was to kill himself and let him discover the body. Then, how would he react? Would he finally leave him and his parents alone? Well, he would be dead, so at least he would be left alone.

Rui’s breath picked up. Was there no other option except to live with this guy harassing him or dying? Seriously? Two shitty options. Just when he was finally, FINALLY happy, fate decided to fuck him in the ass and make his life a living hell. He had stopped feeling depressed, stopped feeling lonely, and stopped wanting to die, yet fate really wanted him to suffer. And now, he had to choose between living and having Utsuro constantly threatening his safety and peace of mind or dying and being left alone. He would never give in to that psycho's demands and go back to him. 

NEVER!

He’d rather eat vegetables for the rest of his life than go back. He'd rather be alone for the rest of his life than go back. He’d rather never build robots again or never do shows again than go back.

HE’D RATHER KILL HIMSELF THAN GO BACK TO HIM!!!

And he was reaching his limit. 

So it seemed the solution was to kill himself and be left alone. Utsuro would never win. Rui was smarter. Rui was more cunning. Rui was crazier. He’d do something Utsuro would never expect and then, that guy would leave him alone. Except if he were to kill himself in return. In that case, they would be in hell together and Rui didn’t want that. But he thought they would be in different places in hell, so everything would be okay. Rui would still be left alone. And well, if Utsuro killed himself, Rui wouldn’t mind. That would mean his parents would be left alone. 

Yes. Rui smiled crazily. This was a good plan. He would die and everything would finally be right. No more Utsuro. No more fear. No more exhaustion. Nothing. He wouldn’t feel or anything. He would be dead.  

Rui numbly went to the bathroom, opened the cabinet and saw the many medicines stashed in it. They looked so ominous, yet so innocent. They were there to heal, not kill. But medicines and poisons were just two sides of the same coin, it just depended on the dose. He snatched a bottle that he was sure would do the job, put it in his pocket, and went back to his garage. 

He decided that before he would act, he would write something. He didn’t want to leave his parents with guilt, or well, too much of it, so he wrote them a letter apologizing, but hoping they would live a happy life without him. He hoped his sacrifice would not be in vain and that they would finally be free from that monster that kept harassing them. 

Rui didn’t write anymore after that. After each stroke of his pen, he felt more at peace. Never again, he thought. Never again will he see that freak, that obsessive maniac. Freedom, and peace of mind, that was all he wanted. That was what he would get, at least during these last moments alive. He changed into comfortable clothes and pulled out the bottle. He observed it intently for a moment. It was full of little round pills and there were warnings about some side effects on it. He hummed and smiled softly. He wondered what side effects he would experience. Hopefully, it would not be too painful, but he didn’t care. 

The crazed teenager took a handful and chucked them in his mouth. He didn’t even use water, just swallowed everything. He sighed and took his platypus plush that his mother had given him when he was a child,  hugged it tightly and decided to lay on the couch, using it as a pillow and wrapping his arms around it. The plush was quite big, and he really liked it. It reminded him of better times. When he was young and naive, when Utsuro wasn’t in his life, when he thought he would never be alone, when he was happy… When he didn’t know about the red strings of fate.

He wished he could go back. Back when it was him and his parents, being a happy family. Now… his parents were in distress because that guy kept showing up. They were stressed and there was nothing they could do to change the situation. It was all Rui’s fault. He should have never dated that guy. He should have never met him. 

Rui was starting to feel nauseous. He felt himself gag, but he made sure everything stayed inside. He didn’t want to fail his attempt because of stupid instincts. He hated the feeling but had to bear it. It would be over soon. He clutched his platypus plush tighter and started to tremble.

This was the end, wasn’t it?

Oh… he was going to die. He really was going to die… 

Rui sobbed. Why was he so sad? This was the only solution for him to be free. Tears pricked his eyes as he started to shake. Was this a side effect? He started to breathe heavily and he felt his heart swell. He gagged again and put a hand to his mouth. It hurt a lot, but it would end soon. It would end soon, right?

No! Please no!  His heart cried at him.  I don’t want to die . 

He didn’t, didn’t he? Rui Kamishiro wanted to live. But he also didn’t. He didn’t want to live in fear anymore. Didn’t want the pain. He couldn’t continue living like this and there was nothing he could do except accept his fate. 

Fate.

A cruel thing.

It wanted him dead…

and he would give in to its demand.

Rui sobbed again as tears ran down his cheeks. His grip on his platypus plush was tightening and he buried his face in it. It helped little to muffle all the noise of pain he was making. He felt the room start to tilt and his head became light. His breaths were dangerously fast, just as was his heartbeat. He kept shaking and couldn’t control it. He was dying.

He didn’t want to. 

But he had to.

How ironic. Rui used to want to die all the time in middle school. He wished, oh how he wished he would die back then. He used to think he would not live another year, let alone reach adulthood. And now… a year after he finally stopped feeling suicidal… he was going to kill himself. Even if he really wished to live. His middle school self would be happy. His high school self was not. Right before his birthday too. He wouldn’t get the chance to turn 17… let alone reach adulthood. 

The poor boy sobbed harder and bit into his plush to stop himself. He shut his eyes tight as he felt a huge headache. It hurt so much. He could hear his blood pumping loudly and his ears were ringing.

Suddenly, Rui felt his phone buzzing and ringing. He was scared. He didn’t want to answer. It was probably Utsuro again, trying to threaten him or win him back. He refused to hear him again, especially right before dying. Still, something in him told him to at least check who it was, just in case. He shakily reached for his phone and looked at the screen. 

The caller wasn’t Utsuro.

It was Mizuki. He hadn’t talked to them in a while. He thought that they hated him after what he had said to them when they had a fight. Mizuki. They had been right about that monster and Rui had dismissed them and even attacked them. He didn’t deserve to talk to them after that. He wondered why they were calling now. He shakily pressed the answer button.

“M-Mizuki? T-to what do I owe the honor of such a call?” Rui’s voice was far too shaky and weak. He forced himself to not gag again and felt cold sweat run down his back. 

“Rui!” They were cheerful and their voice was a little higher than when they were in middle school. He was glad they decided to change what they wanted about themselves for themselves, without fear of what others would think. He was proud of them. “Hey! Why didn’t you tell me you were transferring to Kamikou?” 

“H-huh? Oh, must have slipped my mind,” the purple-haired student answered as evenly as he could. He was getting even more sweaty and the room felt very hot.

“Slipped your mind? You’re telling me you forgot to tell your bestie Mizuki about how you were transferring to the same school? Um, hello! That’s super important!” The yellow-eyed boy was confused about why they were acting like Rui hadn’t been the biggest asshole to them. Like they hadn’t not been talking for so many months.

“S-sorry, I’ve been a little busy. H-how did you find out haha?” He tried to calm his breath and he squirmed as his stomach made a flip. 

“Oh, I just saw your mom at the mall not too long ago. You know, she was surprised I didn’t know.” He heard them laugh. “I’m so glad we’re going to be at the same school again! I missed seeing you on the rooftop. A-and, um, I want to be your friend again. I-I know I said that you should contact me when you stopped being stupid, but I missed my rooftop bestie dammit. I miss you and I’m sorry for having been so harsh in my wording.” They were practically crying on the other side of the phone. 

Oh. Mizuki wanted to see him again. He wanted to see them too. But… he was dying. He was feeling his body become weak. The room was becoming blurry and his breaths were becoming sharper. 

“Rui? Is something wrong? You’re breathing really weird. Um…” They were worried. 

Oh no… He had made a mistake. Rui was going to die, he shouldn’t die, this wasn’t the only way he would get freedom. Sure, Utsuro knew that he was transferring and he also knew where, but there was still a chance Rui could escape him. He couldn’t give up. He had been too desperate and blindsighted. He could fight and live. 

“M-Mizuki… I-I made a mistake… I’ll call you back.” His voice cracked and he gagged. He finally let himself puke on his floor but didn’t feel any relief. He shook as he wiped his mouth. 

“W-What the fuck! D-did you just puke? RUI! Are you okay? What-” Rui clicked the end call button and immediately called for an ambulance. 

“I need an ambulance right now. I am overdosing on — and I need immediate medical attention. The address is —. Please come quick,” Rui said to the phone. He clenched his jaw and took the pill bottle. He stuffed it in his pocket in case the doctors or someone would need it. He got up and the world swayed. He stumbled outside and sat down on the front porch to wait for the ambulance. He clenched his stomach and trembled. He could barely see the shapes of anything in front of him, just the colors. He shakily grabbed his phone and clicked on his mother’s contact, or at least what he thought was his mother’s contact. He couldn’t be sure since everything was swaying. She answered after a few buzzes.

“Rui, baby. What’s happened? D-did he show up again?” she said, very worried.

“N-no.” He felt his body go weak and he had to put his head on the fence of his porch. “I’m s-sorry,” he choked.

“W-what for, baby? What is it?” she panicked. 

“I-I made a mistake. I’m so sorry. N-now, I-” He gasped for air and sobbed.

“RUI! What happened!” she screamed into the phone in desperation. 

“I think… I’m gonna die…” His grip on his phone weakened and he closed his eyes. His energy levels were dangerously low. His chest kept rapidly going up and down. This was it. Dammit, he was an idiot. And now, he was going to pay for it. 

“WHAT HAPPENED! RUI KAMISHIRO, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?” she screeched hysterically.

“I… may be o-overdosing on pills right now…” he slowly slurred.

“Rui, no please no. No, no, please. Why? Why did you do that?” She sobbed. “Please… my baby… you can’t die…” 

Rui heard a siren in the distance. He dropped his phone and breathed a sigh of relief. He still didn’t know if he would survive, but at least there was a chance. The noise was slowly getting closer and he heard tires screeching to a stop. There were rapid footsteps approaching him and voices calling out to him.

“Sir, it’s going to be alright. Can you hear us?” a masculine voice asked.

“Y-yes…” he weakly answered. 

“Okay, continue to breathe. We’ll help you. Do you have the bottle of the pills you are overdosing on?” the same voice said, calmly.

“I-in the left pocket of my jacket…” He couldn’t even reach out to it. His arms wouldn’t move. 

“Alright.” He heard shuffling and could feel the person searching his pocket. “Okay, we’ll take you to the hospital so they can treat you, alright?” Rui hummed and heard the person shout something. He was lifted up and put on something, probably a stretcher. He was moved and they put something on his face over his mouth and nose. 

From afar he heard a feminine voice.

“R-Rui?” 

The paramedics put him in the ambulance and they drove off. He could hear voices and feel them do things, but he was so out of it. The world was spinning and spinning until it wasn’t. He opened his eyes and saw blinding white. He blinked a few times and suddenly, many sensations came back to him. He felt his body being exhausted and weak and heard many noises; some constant beeping, some voices, shuffling, sniffling, and breathing. He could feel something in his arm, something cold dripping in his veins, and something not really soft under him. He could also feel something heavy trembling next to him. Rui moved his eyes to the side and saw a flash of purple. Someone’s long purple hair was trembling on the feet of the bed and he could hear their muffled sobs. 

“M…m…om?” His voice was very weak and cracking. His mother immediately jolted up and looked at him with her tear-stained eyes. He had only seen her this distressed and sad once. It had been when he had woken up from his first attempt in 8th grade. Ah. And he had done the same thing two years later. What a cruel son he was. She looked even more heartbroken when she saw him.

“Oh… my baby… I-I’m so glad you’re awake.” She sniffled and gently wrapped her arms around his neck. Rui very slowly and weakly lifted his arms to hold her. He could feel her trembling and trying to not break down in his arms. He felt extremely guilty now. He was a horrible son. His poor mother deserved a better son. “Y-your dad is going to be so happy. H-he just went to get some food for us. He should be back soon.” 

“I…m so…rry,” he breathed out.

“I-it’s okay baby, it’s okay. We’re going to get you the help you need alright? You’re going to be okay.” She hiccuped. Her voice was so broken, so full of pain. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t prevent this. I should have been a better mother and seen the signs. I couldn’t protect you from this. I couldn’t protect you from him. I’m a horrible mother.” She sobbed harder. She must have read the letter. He felt so wretched. 

“It’s not… your fault. I was… so, so stupid. I’m sorry. I just… thought it would make him go away. Then you… guys would be left alone… and I wouldn’t have to feel afraid anymore.” His throat hurt and his voice was raspy.

“No, no, no… Baby, no… This isn’t the solution. Don’t let him win, okay. We’ll find a solution. A way for him to leave you alone.” She was almost begging him. Rui heard the door open and his eyes trailed towards the sound. He saw short blue hair and yellow eyes looking at him. The eyes were looking at him shocked, but quickly became soft. A small smile grazed the man’s lips.

“Rui, I’m so glad. I really thought we were going to lose you,” his father said, full of emotions. He rarely showed that much emotion, it made Rui regret everything even more.”When your mother called me in a panic, I immediately rushed home, but you were gone. Your mother was sobbing with a letter in her hand and… Rui, my son, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you had to do something so drastic.” His father had tears in his eyes and he approached the bed on the opposite side of his mother. He wrapped his arms around him too and now both parents were embrassing him. Rui felt his heart swell with such guilt and sadness. He suddenly couldn’t contain the pain and tears pricked his eyes. He started to loudly sob and apologize over and over, begging for forgiveness. How could he have hurt his parents in such a way? Had he not learned his lesson the first time? 

His parents shushed and comforted him. They said they forgave him and that everything was going to be alright. He would survive this and he would get through this. Utsuro had to leave him alone at some point. 

Rui eventually calmed down and his parents gave him some water to help with his inflamed throat. A nurse came in and saw that he was awake. She checked his vitals and saw that everything was looking good. She went to call a doctor so that he could tell them about what had happened. The doctor came a little later and told him about what everything. He had overdosed on some pills he found in his cabinet, that he remembered. The doctor told him that they had to perform a stomach pump and inserted a tube down his throat to remove the drug. That explained the pain he felt. They would have wanted to give him active charcoal instead since that was far less complicated, but the drug he had taken could not be removed that way as it did not bind to the charcoal. They could not use any other anti-poison on him, so that was their safest option. There were no complications; he was lucky. They would continue to monitor his condition for a few days and take a few blood samples to ensure there were no more of the drug in his bloodstream. The doctor mentioned that he would most likely not have any lasting issues with his health because the drug had not done anything too dangerous at the time they had removed it. To say he was lucky about that was an understatement, it may as well have been a miracle. 

Rui wouldn’t be able to do physical activity a few days after he was discharged from the hospital. The doctor also said that part of his treatment involved getting him evaluated by a psychiatrist to see if he was fit to be discharged. They didn’t want him to attempt again, of course. If everything went well, he would be let go in a week. That was good, he was already tired of being in the hospital even if it had been only a few hours since he had been awake. His parents stayed by his side during the whole conversation with the doctor and looked relieved at such good news. 

They stayed with him until visiting hours were over. His mother said that she would take the day off tomorrow to stay the day with him, but he insisted she did not. He was feeling better and he did not want her to miss work for his idiocy. She very, very reluctantly agreed to not take the day off but promised to visit directly after her shift. His father said the same thing. They bid goodbye for the night and he tried to fall asleep. He was exhausted but still had so much on his mind. He was still scared that Utsuro would come. Now, he was weak and bed-bound. What would happen, he wondered. 

The next day, Rui was alone for most of it. His parents worked long hours, so they could only come during the evening. They had brought him some books so he decided to read to calm his mind. The nurses often came to check his vitals and once took a blood test. It came back negative, which was an incredibly good sign. They told him that the next day, he would go see the psychiatrist and get checked out. 

At some point during the day, the bed-bound teenager got a visitor. When he heard the door open, it had not been the evening yet, so he tensed up and looked at it in fear. He wondered if Utsuro had already found him. He saw pastel pink hair. It was longer than he remembered. They had a red bow in their hair, but it was still the same Mizuki, his rooftop friend. He relaxed and his eyes softened. The two of them locked eyes and they looked so worried. 

“Hello there, Mizuki. Don’t just stand there, come in.” He smiled softly at them. They immediately teared up. Their face made him feel so heartbroken. They didn’t deserve to have such a shitty friend who would easily throw their life away like this. All because he thought it was the only way to escape and be left alone. 

“Rui, you idiot!” A few tears ran down their face. “Y-you worried me so much! I thought you died, you dumbass! When you puked and then said you made a mistake and then hung up like that. Y-you scared me. I thought I lost my rooftop bestie. The one who helped me discover and accept myself to some degree.” They ran towards him, wrapped their arms around his back, and sobbed in his chest. “Dammit Rui, I don’t want you to die! You’re so important to me, please don’t do that again.”

He caressed their hair and softly smiled to himself. His heart was full of warmth at his friend’s word. He hated to have made them so distressed and he regretted it. He couldn’t help but feel loved and that made him so happy.

“I’m sorry. I was an idiot. I won’t do it again. I’m sorry,” he apologized with a soothing voice. “I’m fine now. Everything is alright. I won’t die. I’m sorry to have scared you like that.” 

“Y-you better be! You made me mess up my mascara,” they tried to deflect and joke. They clenched his back tighter.

“How will you ever recover?” He gently chuckled. “There, there. It’s over. I’m here and alive. I’m sorry.” 

They stayed like that for a little while, Mizuki’s sobs slowly turning into sniffles. He continued to play with their hair gently and he closed his eyes peacefully. He felt their body become calmer. They gently shifted their position and he opened his eyes to look at them. They locked their eyes on him; they were very red and black was smudging the under of their eyes. 

“Why did you do it?” they whispered heartbreakingly. Rui flashed them a sad smile. It was too shameful to say.

“I- You were right.”

“I-it’s his fault, right? Dammit, what did he do to make your attempt?” The tears kept streaming down their face. He looked to the window and dropped his smile. The light of the sun was reflecting on his frame and he could see the green of the trees. 

“It doesn’t matter. I thought I could get out of my situation by killing myself, but now I see that I wasn’t thinking straight,” he sadly admitted.

“It does matter! When I see him, I’ll make him pay! Did he hurt you? Maybe dump you for some asinine reason? Dammit, what did he do?” They gripped his shirt tightly in despair.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. J-just know that I’m sorry for ever doubting you and that I’m sorry for ever having made you guys meet. I’m sorry that I thought you were lying when you said that he had harassed you online and showed up to your house and I’m sorry I ever chose him over you. I’m so, so, so fucking sorry for everything and I wish, I really wish I could go back in time to undo everything.” Rui had accidentally started crying. The tears kept streaming down his face. He had been an idiot. He had accidentally involved so many people in his mess and now they had to suffer for him. His parents and Mizuki had been through so much because of him. All because he had naively believed that Aoi was his soulmate. What a genius he truly was.

Mizuki ungripped his shirt and wrapped their arm around him. They rubbed soothing circles around his back and he closed his eyes. He sobbed on their shoulder and harshly gripped onto the back of their shirt. He could feel their silent tears wetting part of his shirt.

“H-he harassed you then?” they whispered.

“Y-yeah,” Rui miserably admitted.

“What did he do to you specifically? Please, I want to know how he hurt you. Did he hit you?” they sounded desperate.

“I don’t want to talk about it now,” he said weakly “I’m not strong enough to say it right now and please don’t try to find him. He has hurt you enough already.” 

“I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind! That fucker, he hurt you, I know it. And dammit, you almost died because of him. I sure as hell am going to kill him,” rhey aggressively spat, stopping their movement on his back. 

“No! No, please don’t. You’ll only get hurt!” He looked at them with fear.

“Do you think I can’t defend myself?” They dropped his shirt and stared at him, intense fire in their eyes. 

“It isn’t about that and you know it! Stop acting like Utsuro isn’t a menace and a dangerous one at that. He harassed you online and showed up at your house, you know he can do worse. I don’t want you to get hurt and that’s final. Don’t involve yourself in this anymore.” He gripped their shoulder and looked at them seriously. They stayed in silence for a little bit, until Mizuki broke it.

“A-alright. I-I won’t. S-so, there’s so much I have to tell you.” They changed their demeanor as if nothing had happened. They talked about how they had finally graduated middle school and started at Kamikou, their new music circle, and how they were now an animator for it. They now had new friends, but those people still didn’t know of their secret. They were very scared to tell them. 

The two friends talked about many things until Rui’s parents came to visit. The four of them chatted for a while until Mizuki left. His parents stayed and ate with him. They had to leave when the visiting hours were over, but he was grateful for their presence. They had also brought him a notebook to write in. 

The next day, Rui saw the psychiatrist who was a nice lady. She didn’t judge him for what he had done, simply did her job to try and understand why. She said she would contact authorities and try to ask them to get a restraining order but guaranteed nothing as the police were mostly useless in these kinds of cases. He thanked her nonetheless. She recommended extensive therapy and wanted to medicate him saying he was depressed. She changed her mind since he had recently tried to kill himself with pills and she didn’t want to risk it. In the end, he found out that he wouldn’t need to stay in the hospital for longer than what the doctor had recommended. That was a relief.

The next few days were normal. They kept monitoring him and everything was well. His parents stayed with him during the weekend and always visited after their shift. He was grateful for them and felt a little less lonely each time they were there. The lonely boy was starting to feel a little less tense and more at peace. A wave of calm washed over him a few days before he would be discharged. He knew everything would be alright. 

Two days before he was discharged, another unexpected visitor entered his room. It was Kat and she was looking a little grim. 

“I-I know you said you didn’t want to see me and I know I should respect your wishes, but when I heard you were in the hospital, I couldn’t help but visit. I needed to make sure you were okay. I can’t help but think this was my fault.” She let a tear fall from her eyes as she closed the door behind her. 

“Kat… this isn’t your fault,” he reassured. After everything that had happened, he couldn’t blame her for anything anymore. She was also a victim of Utsuro. 

“But if only I hadn’t fallen for him. If only I hadn’t kissed him. If only I had never transferred and met him,” she sniffled, trying hard to keep her emotions inside her.

“No, it’s not your fault. You didn’t know. I didn’t know either that he would be like this. It’s not like you haven’t suffered because of him either. I was just more drastic. I wasn’t thinking logically and now, I’ve also hurt those around me.” He looked down in shame. 

“No! This was all my fault! I’ve ruined things for you. You were mostly happy before and now, I took away that happiness.” She was trembling. 

“Kat, no. Don’t blame yourself like that. Besides, my happiness was temporary with him. If anything, I should thank you for opening my eyes. It could have been way worse and I would have been stuck with him. Now, I know that I have to fight and that he is not a good boyfriend.” Rui tried to look at her with hope and gratefulness, but she was looking to the ground, tears falling. 

“B-but, I’ve ruined your life. So much so that you thought you had to kill yourself to be at peace again.” 

“H-how did you know?” He was shocked. 

“U-um, I overheard your talk with the doctor just before. S-sorry.” She looked guilty.

“A-and how did you find out I was here?” Rui was getting nervous. Perhaps it was because Utsuro had always been able to find out everything about him that he was that paranoid.

“Everyone at school knows you are in the hospital. I assumed it was the closest one.”

“D-does that mean…  he   knows too?”

“M-“

“Who knows?” A masculine voice could be heard from the doorway. Both of them flinched and Rui felt his heart race. He was no longer safe. It was at that moment that he remembered that he was bed-bound and still a little weak. And Utsuro was at the doorway, looking smugly at him, hands on his chest and a predatory glint in his eyes. What was he doing here? Rui had thought, no deluded himself, safe. And now, he felt his whole body tighten in fear.

“Now, now Ru~i. Why would you think you could just die on me? Don’t you know I can’t live without you? You and Kat here are the only ones my heart desires. I need you both with me.” He approached his bedside and Kat followed and put herself between the two boys.

“You’re not supposed to be here! Leave him, no, us alone!” Kat shrieked. He could see that she was terrified, but tried to look strong for him. Rui tightly gripped the bedding and his breathing picked up. The beeping of the heart monitor started going faster. 

“Ka~t, you don’t have to look so scared. I’m not doing anything. Simply visiting my sweet lovely Ru~i here.” Utsuro smiled crazily at him and took another step closer. Rui scrunched up in the bed. He had no escape. He would never be fast enough or strong enough. Not even when he was at peak health. Now, he had machines stuck to him. It was twice as impossible. 

“Leave us alone!” she snapped. “We don’t want to be with you, ever! You’re crazy!”

“Ka~t.” Utsuro whined. “You’re just denying our love. That’s not nice. You’re breaking my poor heart. And you’re speaking for Ru~i. He loves me a lot, you know. He told me so many times. And he even promised to stay with me forever.” Rui felt cold sweat run down his spine. Why was he reminded again of that stupid promise he shouldn’t have made? He felt like he was suffocating.

“W-why do you never leave me alone…” His voice was weak, he needed to seem confident now. “Can’t you accept that we’re never, ever getting back together? I can’t fucking stand you! You’re obsessed! I hate you!” Rui was scared, but he exclaimed those words with as much seriousness as he could. No trembling of the voice, no stuttering. He shut his eyes tight and opened them again. He had somehow wished that Utsuro would be gone by the time he opened them. His wishes were never answered.

“He’s right. Leave us alone you creep! I’ve had enough of this stalking behavior. I’m done! I’m leaving this fucked up place, going back to England, and never seeing you again. And you better leave Rui alone!” Kat yelled. Utsuro’s face fell. He didn’t have a smile on anymore and his eyes were dark. He looked at the both of them with the darkest expression Rui had ever seen on him. The psycho laughed bitterly.

“Ha, so… you think you can just leave me?” that monster said in a deep voice. “First Rui tries to kill himself to get away from me, now you want to leave the country.” Utsuro glared daggers at Kat. His silent anger sent shivers down both of their spines and Kat took a step back. Her hands were slightly trembling. “You can’t just leave. We belong together. Why do the two of you resist me so? What have I done to you to be hated like this? I only want your love, the both of you. Why can’t we be together?” 

“Fuck you!” she said in English. “There’s no fucking way we can ever be together! I regret ever meeting your pathetic creepy ass! I hope you end up in jail! Now leave!” Kat was fuming, Rui could feel that she was afraid. After all, Utsuro was an unpredictable guy. He would try everything to get what he wanted. He would force them to love him if he could. The bastard laughed in her face and took a step forward. That made her flinch and take another step back. She grabbed onto Rui's arm tightly and tried to shield him from the oncoming threat. There was not much she could do. She was weaker than Rui who was weaker than Utsuro. And Rui was even weaker than usual. He was still not completely recovered and had a lot of machines plugged into his body. If he did any drastic movement, he might rip his IV out and make himself bleed. It was not an optimal situation. Utsuro was strong and violent. He would hurt them and force them to stay. And there was pretty much nothing they could do. 

Or well, they were in a hospital with some authorities just outside the doors. Rui side-eyed the button close to his bed used to call a nurse. This might be the only way to get out of this situation either unharmed or not terribly so. 

He quickly smashed the red call nurse button as Utsuro dangerously approached them. Kat flinched and tightened her grip around him. The psycho launched at Kat and wrapped his hands around her throat tightly. The guy’s eyes were crazy wide and his jaw was gritted tight. Kat put her hands on his arms and tried to loosen his grip. She tried gasping for air but could only emit a high-pitched sound. 

“You fucking bitch! You can’t run away from our love. I’d rather kill you than know that you’re somewhere out there, probably with someone else. It’s gonna hurt, you know, killing you, but it’s better than the alternative!” Utsuro screamed at her and tightened his grip.

Rui was in shock for a few seconds, then decided that he would help her. He knew this would hurt him, any big movement from his arm would rip the IV, and it did. Blood started dripping down his arm, but he ignored it. He quickly grabbed Utsuro’s arm and pulled it slightly away. He screamed for help and two nurses entered the room quickly. 

“Please help! He’s going to kill her!” Rui yelled at the nurses. One of them quickly jumped into action and tried to pull Utsuro away from Kat. That monster wouldn’t let go. The purple-haired boy got out of the bed and grabbed Kat’s waist. After a few tense seconds when Kat was choking and turning slightly blue, they finally managed to pull the two of them apart.

Rui heard a call from the speaker:

“Code white on the 5th floor South room 567. I repeat, code white on the 5th floor South room 567.” 

Not long after, a few security guards came into the room and wrestled Utsuro out. The nurse immediately came to check on his bleeding arm and another one went to check on Kat. The now very pale girl was gasping for air and coughing, slowly regaining a normal coloring. There were red marks on her neck, but she otherwise looked unharmed. Well, as unharmed as can be after being choked. The nurse bandaged his arm and reinserted the IV in his other. Rui was now safe, but even so, he couldn’t stop shaking like a leaf. 

He started wondering what he should do next. Utsuro would never leave him alone. Death wasn’t an option anymore; it would hurt his close ones too much. Should he… give in to his demands? Maybe that would make it so that Utsuro would at least leave his parents alone. Kat wouldn’t be left alone until she moved, but she would be okay after. Moving wasn’t an option for him. Not only because it was likely that Utsuro would still be able to find him if he stayed in Japan, but also because he did not think his parents could afford to move them on such short notice. Not yet, at least. 

There had to be another solution.

A nurse mentioned how the police were called and that they would do everything in their power so that such a situation would never happen again, well, during the rest of his stay. They soon left and told them to not hesitate to call them if anything happened. Kat looked exhausted.

“Are you going to be okay? I think... I think I wanna go home now,” she said defeated.

“Yeah, my parents should come see me soon. Don’t worry about me. But, I think you should call your dad so he can come get you. Just in case that guy is waiting outside.” Rui looked at her sadly. 

“Yeah… I’ll do that.” She picked up her phone and dialed her father’s number. The call didn’t last long and they were left in a tense silence. 

“So… you’re moving back to England huh?” he asked, not standing this intense silence.

“Yeah… I couldn’t live like this anymore. I asked my mom to take me and she agreed. It’s not a good option, but it’s better than staying here.” She sat down on the chair next to his bed and hung her head low.

“I guess this is really goodbye, then.” He looked up at the ceiling and blinked slowly. 

“Yeah…” Kat sounded sad, but relieved.

“I hope you can find happiness, Kat. You deserve it.” Rui tried to sound hopeful. He could feel her stare at him, but he did not look down. He meant his words, even after everything. Kat was a good person, but she was stuck with a terrible soulmate. She would probably never find happiness. Fate was cruel to her too. She could try to run, try to hide, but she would most likely end up with him. It made him incredibly sad for her. 

There seemed there was more she wanted to tell him, but her phone buzzed. 

“My father is here. This is goodbye, Rui Kamishiro. I hope you’ll be okay and I hope we meet again someday.” Rui looked at her. She was smiling with full teeth at him. He smiled softly back.

“I hope so too. Goodbye, Katie Bailey. May you find happiness,” he gently said. She turned around and left. His heart clenched in pain. In the end, he was sad to see her leave. She was truly a very good friend to him, and he would probably never see her again. Rui finally let a few tears fall.

Two days later, he was discharged from the hospital. The day before, the police had come to see him and report on the accident. After all the evidence he had gathered over the month and the recent violent attack, the police finally took his case seriously and filed a report. They gave him the paperwork to file an application for a restraining order and he quickly submitted it. The court date was not even a few days later. He would finally be free. It was a miracle. He thanked the police officers profusely for finally taking him seriously.

After he was discharged, Rui immediately called Mizuki and asked them to meet up in his garage. They quickly came and he asked them to cut his hair. Utsuro used to like his long hair and he refused to keep it anymore. He requested to keep one of his blue strands longer than the rest. Kat had really liked the blue strand and he wanted to honor her.

The day of the court hearing was technically the last time he got to see Utsuro in a long time. The judge was on his side and granted him a restraining order for 10 months. Rui had never felt so relieved as he left the courthouse. His parents were so happy that they could finally put this horrible situation behind them. Hopefully, that would finally make Utsuro give up on him, he thought.

He finally transferred to Kamiyama without a problem. During the first few weeks, he had been paranoid that Utsuro would show up despite the restraining order, but it didn’t happen. The bastard didn’t show up to his house or school. It was a miracle. His life at Kamiyama was paradise. Well, people found him weird, as they usually did, but he still felt like an immense weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He started enjoying making shows again and building robots without a care. 

A week after he was discharged, the yellow-eyed teenager decided to put up a guerrilla gig at Phoenix Wonderlands as he used to do sometimes. It went as usual, a few kids watched his show and a security guard chased him out of the park. Miraculously, two teenagers also saw his show and were impressed with his performance. They wanted to recruit him as the director of their troupe. The next day was a day that changed his life. A boy with blonde hair, a booming voice, and a smile rivaling a thousand suns met him on the rooftop and asked him to join his troupe. This was the best day of his life or the worst. He couldn’t know yet. Meeting Tsukasa had made him mostly move on from the betrayal and hurt he had faced. But now, months later, he was in love with the boy. 

He made the same stupid mistake.

Rui fell for a boy with a shining smile who was interested in his creations. He fell for loving eyes pointed at him. He fell for a boy with a soulmate.

Time and time again, he reminded himself that he would get hurt. Time and time again, he reminds himself that fate has other plans for them and that these plans were cruel towards him. Time and time and time again!

History was bound to repeat itself.

There was no running away from fate.

Otherwise, you suffer the consequences of going against it. 

So now, Rui Kamishiro was in love with a boy and had gone full circle. Acting upon his feelings would result in him getting heartbroken again. Hopefully, the ending is a little happier this time…

-

Rui had forgotten that yesterday had been the last day the restraining order had been in effect. He had almost forgotten about Utsuro, well to some degree. He had been living his best life, without a care in the world with his troupe and friends; his brain was full of mostly nice things. Well, anything was nicer than Utsuro. He had truly believed that his ex would have finally given up on him and left him alone permanently. He had been naive. He should have been more careful.

Suddenly, all the fear and despair he had felt after Utsuro had started harassing him came back with a vengeance. He felt his jaw clench and his breath pick up. That psycho was now approaching him even though they were backstage. Why did he come? Why? He wasn’t supposed to be here. He shouldn’t be here. Rui didn’t want him here. He had never wanted to see him again after all the pain that guy had caused him and his parents. His friends were looking at him confused. They must have thought that they knew everyone who he considered a friend and they were right. This guy was not his friend and would never be. Never again. 

“Hi there! I’m Emu Ootori! Are you a friend of Rui too?” the cheerful girl said, blissfully unaware that she had just talked to a complete psychopath.

“Haha, well, it’s complicated. Anyway, you must be Rui’s new friends. Nice to meet you, I am Aoi Utsuro. I used to go to the same high school as him before he abruptly transferred.” The bastard looked like a normal person. Just like when they had met. Utsuro was deceiving his friends, but he would never deceive Rui. Never again.

“You fucker! How did you find me?” Rui screamed at him, eyes wide and fist clenched. His friends flinched and looked at him. They were surprised, he usually didn’t curse nor scream at people.

“Come now Ru~i. Don’t be like that~ It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. We should catch up,” the monster innocently said, as if nothing had ever happened. As if he hadn’t stalked and harassed Rui for a full month.

That stupid way Utsuro said his name made him clench his fist tightly. How dare he use the same intonation that he did when they were dating! He really wanted to rile Rui up for no reason. That guy knew how to push his buttons and it made him insane.

“HOW DID YOU FIND ME???” He started panting in anger. 

No. No, no, no! This couldn’t be happening! Right when he was finally relatively happy. When he had found people who loved and accepted him. And now, he would have to go back to living in fear. All because of that guy. That guy. That guy, that guy, that guy! He was the reason for most of Rui’s problems! 

“Ru~i, you know I have my ways. I wanted to see you again! I can finally do that. Now, all that’s left is to find Kat and we’ll all be happy again together. She’s back in the country, isn’t that great?” Utsuro chuckled predatorily. He took a few steps toward Rui, but the purple-haired director wouldn’t let him get close. Tsukasa saw how distressed he was and put himself between them. Utsuro looked at Tsukasa as if he was just a cute little child trying to protect his sibling from a threat and not someone their age. 

“You should leave.” Tsukasa was glaring at Utsuro, even if he had no clue why Rui had such a reaction towards the guy. 

“Awww, but why? I just wanted to talk to the one I love. Just because you acted as his lover in the play doesn’t mean you are, you know.” There was almost a dark aura surrounding Utsuro. He had a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. It almost made Rui break down and cry right then and there. 

“Shut up! We aren’t lovers or anything. You are nothing to me and will never be! We broke up almost a year ago!” Rui snapped. He tried to keep his hands from shaking and his eyes from showing how truly terrified he felt. 

“That’s not true! You promised, you promised! You can’t take it back!” Utsuro had crazy eyes and a wide smile. He was getting dangerously close. Rui was grateful for Tsukasa being between the two of them since it gave him a little more distance. 

“Stop using that stupid ‘promise’ you forced me to make as an excuse!” Rui saw Utsuro push Tsukasa away, who stumbled slightly but stayed on his feet and the monster lifted his arm to firmly put it on Rui’s chin. The director tried to slap the arm away, but his grip was firm. Dammit, he had thought he had become stronger physically during these last few months, at least strong enough to be on par with Utsuro. He continued to struggle as the bastard approached their faces and pursed his lips.