Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She made her way out of her office and down the hall, munching on some chips as she headed toward the elevator. She bowed at a few people she passed in the hall as she stepped inside the small room, a few other people getting on after her, bowing at her as well. She continued to eat her chips, moving further into the corner, waiting patiently.

She’d been looking forward to this all day, the job fair going on was exciting and happened each year. It gave employees a chance to try to promote to a different position or allowed them additional training to get to a higher level of their current position which allowed for pay raises and other bonuses. She loved her current job, but it didn’t hurt to see if there were other options for her.

Making her way off the elevator she headed down the hallway to the banquet room where the fair was being held. She grabbed the last few chips out of the bag and shoved them in her mouth before throwing the empty bag in the nearest garbage can, brushing her hands off as she went further into the room.

It’d been a long journey for her, ending up in South Korea would’ve seemed like an impossible fantasy when she was younger. Back then, she didn’t have much to dream about though, and imagining living in a foreign country had been the absolute last thing on her mind. She’d grown up as a ward of the state, given up for adoption when she was born. She knew nothing about her parents and didn’t know if they were alive or dead.

She’d been shuffled off to several different foster homes but always ended up back at the orphanage, not really knowing if she had any living relatives. She’d come close several times to being adopted, had stayed for a couple of months with a foster family and they’d told her they were going to adopt her but then they’d find a baby they’d rather have than an eight or ten-year-old and she got sent back. When she turned eighteen, she was told she was considered legal and was forced to leave the orphanage.

It’d been a struggle for several years. Not used to being on her own, with no absolutely no one, she had to fend for herself. She’d been given little help once leaving and it’d lasted only a month and then she found herself on the streets, homeless and alone. She’d slept under bridges, in alleyways, in boxes, whatever she could find for shelter. Winter’s had been the hardest and in New York, they were known to have brutal winters. When she’d been lucky, she’d been able to stay at some shelters for a few nights, but then she was right back out on her own.

By some stroke of luck, she’d managed to run into a woman who took pity on her one night as she lay on a park bench, attempting to sleep while some teenagers threw rocks at her. After a threat to call the police, they’d left her alone and the woman had taken her into her home, given her food and allowed her to wash up, and gave her some old clothes from her granddaughter. The next morning, the woman helped her to get into a temp agency, so she could take an aptitude test and discover her skills. After that, she was able to find a job and start to make money, all the while the woman let her stay with her until she saved up enough to afford a small one-bedroom apartment. Once she’d moved in, she went back to find the woman to take her out to dinner as thanks for all her help, only to find she’d moved away, leaving no means of contact. She’d been devastated and vowed then to find her one day and thank her.

It also became her mission to help others like her, to find a way to help others who were orphans or without families and be able to reacclimate to life outside of the orphanage so they didn’t end up on the streets as she had. She worked hard, and she had a couple of part-time jobs, all the while looking around for jobs that would allow her to achieve her ultimate goal, to help others the way she’d been helped.

Eventually, she found a company that worked abroad that helped orphans from all over. She’d applied and gotten assigned to South Korea. They helped her to learn the language and paid for her ticket and for her to move. From there, she helped young children for about two years before changing departments to where she’d longed for, helping the older kids, the ones like her, who’d never been adopted who were getting ready to turn twenty or already were and were being forced to leave the orphanage they were at.

She knew their fear, their concern about how they were going to make it on their own. She helped them to find jobs, to find apartments, and helped them get used to life on their own, her success rating was the highest in the company at 98%. She was insanely proud of that and made sure she kept in touch with everyone assigned to her, even months later when she no longer had to, she had young men and women calling her and thanking her. She’d gotten invitations to graduations, weddings, baby showers, everything. A lot of the time, they’d tell her she’d become their family, the older sister they’d never had, and it felt like it to her, they were all her siblings.

After all that said though, she still longed to belong, longed to have family, she so badly wanted to find the woman who helped her and thank her properly. Now that she had a good job and was financially stable, she knew she had to go back home and really search for her, the need was so strong, she thought of her often, hoping she was well. She would have to do some real searching soon, she had a vacation coming up, and she vowed she would really amp up her search for her.

She’d also thought of trying to find out some information on her biological family. She wanted to, she did that kind of thing for others all the time, but the thought of doing it for herself made her nervous, very nervous. She wasn’t sure if she was going to like what she found if anything. It was so hard to do, with no guarantees she’d be able to get any information in the first place and of course, there was also the possibility of rejection. She’d run into that a lot in Korea, sometimes it worked out, sometimes it didn’t, but she always exhausted all avenues. She’d grown up being rejected in some sense, she wasn’t so sure she could take it from her biological family again.

What she found the hardest, was being in a foreign country, all alone. She had friends she’d made of course, but she was lonely. She wanted someone to want her, for the first time in her life, she wanted to belong to someone, for someone to claim her as theirs, to have love. Korean men didn’t really seem very interested in her, not really. She had male friends, but none that she was drawn to and none that seemed overly interested in getting to know her further. It was slightly frustrating to be with her co-workers and hear them talking about going out on dates or things they were doing with their boyfriends. She tried to make herself open and available, but nothing seemed to work, it made her feel more alienated.

She didn’t know what it was like to have someone actually want her, want her enough for her to stay, for them to want to be with her in the long term. For a long time, she struggled with the idea that there was something wrong with her, that she was unlovable, that she was weird or different. She tried not to let it get her down since she was used to being alone, and had been for most of her life, but she still longed for more. Knowing that having someone was a luxury she couldn’t afford, especially here where she was a foreigner, she pressed on.

Learning to cope on her own, getting used to a different culture, a different everything had been exceptionally hard. Not everyone had been as welcoming, and she’d struggled a lot to try to fit in and be accepted. She’d learned a lot of lessons the hard way and learned how to adapt and how to not be taken advantage of. Now, she knew she could rely on only herself. She’d been alone in New York, where she was on her own in every sense of the word and she’d had to find a way to survive.

Walking up to the first table, she bowed before looking around at the different pamphlets. She grabbed a couple before moving on to the next table. Thirty minutes later, she’d made her way around the room, having spoken to several people, she felt she’d gotten what she needed. There were a few prospects and people knew of her success and were anxious for her to join their department, but she wasn’t sure if that was what she really wanted to do.

Feeling somehow accomplished, she gathered all the paperwork she’d accumulated and started towards the exit, when another table she hadn’t noticed before, caught her eye. Turning her head, she looked over to see a lone table off in the corner. She looked around, but no one else seemed to notice it either, everyone went past it, as if it wasn’t there. It seemed odd, the man sitting behind the desk was just sitting there waiting patiently. It didn’t look like any of the materials he’d brought had been touched.

She went to turn to walk away, when she realized she couldn’t, she literally couldn’t move. She turned her head, looking back over at the table and that man. She felt drawn to it for some reason as if she was being pulled towards it. She turned her body and felt herself walking, almost floating towards that table. Making her way over, the guy’s gaze found hers and he smiled, bowing.

“Welcome,” he said as he stood, bowing again.

She bowed, frowning a bit, trying to understand why she was there.

“Please sit,” he said.

Looking behind her, she saw a chair that she was sure wasn’t there a moment ago. Slowly she sat and looked at him.

“Hello, my name is Rovix, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Hello, nice to meet you as well,” she said slowly.

“So, you’re thinking of trying a new position then?”

“I…yes, yes maybe. I like my current position, but a change is always good.”

He nodded, “Yes, it is. You never know what you may find with a change of job. Sometimes it makes us not feel so alone.”

She blinked, “Alone?”

“Mmm, if we’re in the wrong job, we can feel isolated and lonely, like no one understands us. That can be really tough you know?” He said mysteriously.

“Yeah…tough.”

“Haven’t you felt alone before? I feel like you know exactly what that’s like,” Rovix said suddenly.

She looked around nervously, “Uhh…”

“Here, take a look at some of the things I have, you may like my department. We work with setting people up with that special person they’ve been longing for. We help people to get what they want and deserve, I think you’d do well here. But before you help others, maybe we can help you first,” he said smiling.

She looked up from the paper on the table in front of her to look at him, “Huh? Help me?”

“Then again, you always are helping others, been doing that for several years. I think it’s time you’ve finally gotten the help you deserve and maybe you can also help him to feel needed again, it’s been so long for him as well.”

“Him? Needed? Who?”

“Since you’re the only person who visited me today, you get a special gift,” Rovix said, leaning down and grabbing something from out of his bag next to him.

She watched as he pulled something from out and held it out to her. It looked to be a black silk scarf. She looked up at him and he smiled, holding it out to her further.

“Uhh, no thanks…”

“Oh, you’re gonna want these, trust me. They will help you get the support that you’ve wanted, they will lead you to the man who will end your loneliness and also take care of you in the way you’ve only dreamed of, maybe even help you to find love. In return, you can allow him to feel needed once again,” Rovix said softly.

She blinked, looking at the thing in his hand before cautiously reaching out to take it. She heard a clinking sound, like metal on metal.

“You’d better get going, your lunch is almost over.”

“M-my lu…”

He stood, and she awkwardly followed.

“Do…do I need to give you something for…”

“No, you helping him and setting him free will be payment enough. Make sure you look that information over ok?”

She nodded, grabbed the piece of paper, and turned, making her way towards the exit, holding the scarf with whatever it was inside, in her hands. Turning her head, she looked back at the table to see the guy was putting his materials away. Shaking her head, she hurried from the room.

~~~ 

Yawning, she made her way inside her apartment, shutting the door and resting heavily against it. She was exhausted, hungry, and glad to be home. Bending over, she pulled her heels off and threw them in the corner before pulling her coat off and hanging it up, and then making her way into the living room.

She set her bag and purse down next to the couch before heading down the hall to her room. After getting a change of clothes, she headed into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Twenty minutes later she came out and headed into the kitchen to make dinner. She set the table and sat, eating quietly, thinking over the day.

Sighing heavily, she looked at the empty table and lowered her gaze to her plate. For some reason, her loneliness was bothering her more than usual lately. She was just so tired of being alone, so tired of feeling empty, tired of being used to being by herself. Typically, she could snap herself out of it, but not now. Now she just felt like crying all the time and she wasn’t one to wallow in self-pity. After twenty-five years of being primarily on her own, she was just tired of it. Every so often, she allowed herself to just feel bad and to complain and whine, this was one of those times.

Setting her chopsticks down, she buried her face in her hands, sniffling as tears streamed down her cheeks. She just wanted someone, anyone to fill the emptiness in her heart, she had nothing to make her feel whole, to make her feel loved. Every person needed that connection with people or with one special person and she didn’t have that. She had friends, but no one she felt close to, didn’t have that connection she craved, and it wasn’t for lack of trying, she didn’t really have the skills to form bonds with people, she’d been deprived of that as a baby, and child, she simply didn’t know how.

Lifting her head, she wiped at her eyes, looking around her apartment sadly, wishing desperately for another presence. Shaking her head, she cleared her throat, enough, she was done with her pity fest, time to move on. She finished eating, did the dishes, and then sat on the couch, turning the TV on and finding a drama to watch before grabbing her work bag.

Opening it, she pulled out a few files, setting them down on the coffee table in front of her, opening them, and sifting through them. She typically didn’t bring work home with her, preferring to keep work at work, but sometimes she ran out of time and needed to do a little extra at home, now was one of those times. She worked fast, getting finished in about an hour, and started to put the files back in her bag, when she heard metal clanking. Frowning, she racked her brain until she remembered the man from the job fair.

That whole interaction was weird, she was curious about his department, she’d never heard of a department like that, so it must be new. She reached in, grabbing the paper she’d taken from him, turning it over her eyes widening, it was blank. She flipped it back over to the other side, but nothing. This had to be the paper, she shoved it in with that scarf-wrapped thing he’d given her, there were no other pieces of paper and she didn’t have any blank pages in any of the files she’d brought.

Rubbing the paper between her fingers, it didn’t feel like regular paper, felt thinner, softer somehow. She set the paper on the coffee table and then reached back into her bag, pulling out the scarf-wrapped object, which now that she actually paid attention, felt like more than one object. She set her bag down and put the object or objects, down on the table in front of her. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a little skeptical to open it, she didn’t know what was in there, what if it was dangerous?

Reaching out, cautiously she untied the scarf and slowly started to pull the edges away, leaning back a bit as she carefully opened the ends, wincing a bit, waiting for some kind of explosion or something, but blinked when she saw a pair of gold bracelets tied in black ribbon. Frowning in confusion, she leaned in, inhaling, smelling something soft, almost like perfume, but not quite.

Scented gold bracelets?

She untied the ribbon holding them together and grabbed one, her eyes widened. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say they were actually gold. They most certainly didn’t feel like costume jewelry, cheap and poorly made, they felt real. She was no expert on real or fake metals, but something told her these were no joke. She picked up the other and held them both in her hands and immediately they started to warm up, not hot or scalding, but a comforting warmth seemed to emanate from them. They were so warm, so…she couldn’t explain it as she brought the bracelets to her chest, her heart pounding rapidly. She could feel tears burning her eyes, why she didn’t know, but was suddenly so overcome with emotion.

Fear took her suddenly and she almost threw the bracelets down on the table in front of her, her breathing labored. Swallowing hard, she stood and hurried into the kitchen, getting a bottle of water from the fridge, opening it, and downing half of it in one gulp. Resting one fist on her hip, she stared over at the table where the bracelets lay on the scarf. Deciding she was being silly, she made her way back over and sat back down, setting the bottle of water on the table next to the scarf.

Narrowing her eyes, she reached back out and picked the bracelets back up again and immediately they grew warm at her touch. For some reason, touching them made her feel safe, and secure, her body relaxing and again she had that urge to hold them close to her as if they were a person, a living thing that was meant to give comfort, her body seemed to call out for it. She couldn’t understand what was going on, but the urge to put them on was strong, so strong she couldn’t stop herself from looking them over, seeing how they opened if at all.

After turning it a bit, she saw that they had to separate and that it wasn’t as simple as sliding them on. She pried one apart and then put it around her wrist, snapping it closed. Quickly she did the same with the other and the warmth increased, still not threatening and nothing more than comforting, soothing now.

Running her fingers over the ridges on the bracelet, she turned her wrist, looking at it from different angles before looking at the top, it was then that she realized that there was something written there. She looked at her other wrist and saw that there was something written on that bracelet too. She brought one of her wrists closer and turned it a little so she could better make out the word, it looked like a name, did these bracelets belong to someone already? Why would that guy give her bracelets that were someone else’s?

She squinted a bit, whispering the name a few times, trying to get the feel for it on her lips.

“Wonshik?” She said out loud suddenly.

Just then they started glowing black, the same black as the ribbons that had held them together, the warmth grew, never threatening or dangerous, just that same comforting warmth. Her eyes widened as they glowed brighter, smoke starting to billow from them, it shot up and out into the center of her room, pooling on the floor, her gaze following. After a few seconds the smoke cleared and there in the center of her room, was a man on his knees in front of her, hands resting on the floor in front of him, the bracelets suddenly going cool around her wrists.

She watched as he lifted his head, blinking a few times before his gaze found hers and held her.

“Jeongbu,” he said softly before bowing his head again.

His voice was impossibly deep, and it gave her the chills. Shaking her head, she straightened up, clearing her throat.

“Hey, you don’t…get up, you don’t have to do that, get up please,” she stated, uncomfortable with him on his knees in front of her in such a fashion, it was a kowtow bow, one that meant deep respect.

Slowly he lifted his head again, his eyes meeting hers and he gave her a small smile.

“I mean it, please stand up, this is weird,” she murmured.

He nodded once and rose to his full height and she took in his appearance. He was dressed in a white suit, it appeared that he wore nothing under the jacket, but had an orange choker around his neck. His hair was dark and short with a small mouth and lips, a long thin nose, and cool assessing eyes that seemed to be slowly taking her measure. To say that he was attractive would be a gross understatement, it was almost uncomfortable, to be honest.

The man started towards her and her eyes widened slightly as an amazing scent engulfed her, wrapping around her body like a warm caress. She felt sleepy, and dazed at the same time suddenly, she wondered if she was dreaming this.

“Jeongbu,” he said again.

That was enough to snap her out of her daze.

“Huh? What? Jeongbu? Who, me?”

He nodded once, raising an eyebrow, “There’s no one else here.”

She blinked and chuckled, “No, I guess not…but hey, I’m no one’s jeongbu.”

“Yes, you are…mine.”

What was up with that voice? It was giving her the chills in the best way possible, he needed to stop talking, it was too distracting.

She rubbed at her face roughly, “I must be really tired, I think I’m seeing things.”

“Ani, I am really here, though I don’t know if you’re really tired or not yet. Once we’re bound and certain things take place, I’ll be able to tell your moods and stuff a lot easier as we get closer.”

Slowly she brought her hands down to stare at him, “Bound huh? So, uh…who are you exactly?”

“I am Wonshik and I am here for you.”

“Why?”

He smiled a bit, “For your emotional, physical, and sexual satisfaction.”

She blinked, then smiled suddenly, “Seriously?”

Wonshik nodded, “Ne.”

She shook her head, “Ok honey if you say so. Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat? I’ve already had dinner, but I can make you something if you want.”

Wonshik blinked, “Hungry? That’s all you’re gonna say? I tell you I’m here to satisfy your needs and you want to know if I’m hungry?”

She shrugged, “Well sure, I bet you’re hungry after being…uh…smoke or whatever. Even…uhh what are you anyway?”

“A love slave.”

“Right, even love slaves have to eat sometime don’t they?”

She stood, starting towards the kitchen.

“Not really, food does not sustain us the way sex and intimacy do,” Wonshik said matter of factly.

Stopping, she turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow, “Oh really?”

He nodded, “Mmm.”

“Ok then,” she said, turning and heading into the kitchen.

“You’re very accepting of this,” Wonshik said suddenly.

“Hey, if you think you’re a love slave, who am I to argue? I’ve been through and seen too much in my life to tell anyone anything. I just accept people for who they are,” she said, opening the fridge and looking inside.

“But I am a love slave.”

She turned to find him standing next to her, “Fine.”

Wonshik raised an eyebrow, “So?”

“So what?”

“So, we need to talk about what happens from here, we need to do the binding ceremony and get started.”

“Binding? Who’s binding?”

“Ours, yours and mine binding…together.”

She shut the fridge and leaned against it, “Look, I believe that you think you’re a love slave, that’s fine. But that has nothing to do with me.”

“Yes, it does, I’m a love slave, your love slave. You are my jeongbu, I belong to you, or I will officially once we bind.”

“Mine?”

“That is right, yours. As I said earlier, I’m here for your emotional, physical, and sexual satisfaction. I’m here to fulfill all your carnal desires.”

“Ok, how about we sleep first, and we’ll discuss this in the morning and see if we can get you in touch with someone who can…”

Wonshik shook his head, “I do not need help, I need you, I need you to want me, to use me.”

She stared at him, blinking several times before rubbing at her eyes. What was she doing up? She had work in the morning, what was she even doing talking to this man? This was beyond her realm of understanding. She was used to helping orphans and the like, but this man who looked like the Asian version of a Greek god, was out of her comfort zone.

“I need sleep, what am doing awake? I need to go to bed, this is crazy,” she sighed, turning from the fridge and starting towards her bedroom.

“Jeongbu?”

“Tomorrow ok? If you’re still here, we’ll talk in the morning, but now I need sleep, yes sleep…” she muttered, making her way inside and shutting the door.

~~~

He watched her go into her room and shut the door and sighed. She was different from his other jeongbu’s. Normally they’d be calling him crazy and trying to get him to leave, but this one…she just accepted him for what he was, or at least she said she did. She was tired, so maybe she just thought she was dreaming and the morning would be something different.

Sighing heavily, he made his way over to the couch and sat, he would wait until morning and then he would become bound to his jeongbu.

Chapter Text

She made her way out of her bedroom, putting her earrings on as she walked. Heading into the kitchen, she got a large glass down and then opened the fridge, pulling out a large bottle of orange juice, pouring it into the glass to the point of almost overflowing before putting the bottle back in the fridge. Carefully she picked up the glass, draining the contents in one shot, and setting the glass back down.

Wiping at her mouth, she looked down and noticed she still had those weird bracelets she got from the guy at work yesterday on. Frowning, she reached out, prying one off.

“Don’t do that please.”

She looked up, her eyes widening as the man from last night stood before her, only now he looked transparent.

“Don’t take those bracelets off…please, it’s important.”

She stared at him, making her way closer. Reaching out, she went to touch him and her hand went right through him. Startled, she looked up at him and he winced a bit, a low moan escaping his lips.

“Jebal, it hurts if you do that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” She tore her hand away, staring at him in horror.

He gave her a weak smile and looked over at the bracelet resting on the counter where she’d left it after taking it off.

“Please…” he said again, motioning with his head to the bracelet.

She looked back at it and reached out, taking it and prying it apart. She looked up at him as she put it around her wrist and snapped it closed. Wonshik flickered a bit and then the transparency disappeared as he became solid again.

A look of relief filled his eyes, “Gomawo jeongbu.”

Shaking her head, she frowned in confusion, “What just happened here?”

“Come, let’s go into the living room and I will explain ok?”

“I can’t do that now, I have to go to work.”

Wonshik frowned, “Work?”

“Yes, I can’t be late and I can’t miss any days, I have a vacation coming up soon and I need to get in as much time as I can, I’m sorry.”

Wonshik sighed but nodded, “I understand.”

“We can talk when I get home tonight ok? Feel free to go out or…go home ok? You don’t have to stay here any longer, not that you had to be here now. I didn’t mean seriously when I said we’d…anyway, I’m gonna go. Take care of yourself ok? Maybe we’ll bump into each other in the future.”

Wonshik watched her but said nothing.

She raised an eyebrow and headed to the door, “Ok then, bye Wonshik.”

She bowed and made her way out.

~~~

After stopping and getting an obscene amount of fast food for dinner, she headed home. She was exhausted, and she knew tomorrow she wouldn’t want to cook so she’d gotten extra to have for leftovers. All day at work her thoughts had been occupied by the strange guy who’d been in her home. She couldn’t stop thinking about him, wondering if he was ok. He didn’t seem unstable, didn’t seem disturbed, she could see the intelligence in his eyes, the way he’d looked her over when she stood before him in the kitchen that morning.

Honestly, she didn’t know what his deal was, didn’t know how she could help him or who she could get him in touch with that would be best to help him achieve whatever it was he needed. Something was off though, he had basically appeared out of thin air, coming from smoke that had poured from those bracelets, the same bracelets she’d kept on.

Casting a quick glance at her wrists while waiting at a red light, she grew more and more anxious the longer she kept them on. Just what had happened that morning? Why had her taking one of them off affected him so greatly? He said it’d hurt, but why? What did bracelets have to do with his physical well-being? Sighing, she took off when the light turned green, she’d never know now. She was sure he’d left by now, no one would wait all day in unfamiliar surroundings, and she was sure he’d want to go home, wherever that was.

Maybe he was some kind of next-level magician, where it just looked like he’d appeared from the smoke but had been hiding in her garbage can or something, Criss Angel had done that kind of thing all the time. She frowned, thinking of the fact he may have been hiding in her home that whole time, what if she got home and he’d robbed her?

Her eyes widened, and she floored it, hurrying back to her apartment. Fifteen minutes later, she hurried into her building and up the elevator to her apartment. Quickly pressing in the security code, she yanked the door open and bolted inside and into the living room, not bothering to take her shoes off in her haste.

Looking around the room, she blinked, everything was there, nothing looked to be missing or even touched.

“Welcome home jeongbu.”

She whirled around to find Wonshik standing in the kitchen, a small smile on his lips as he looked at her. The bags of food she’d clutched so tight they had started to tare at the top, dropped to the floor with a soft thump as she stared at him.

“I am glad to see you’ve made it home safely. Did you have a good day?” He asked, coming forward, bending over to pick up the bags and bring them over to the kitchen table before turning to look at her again.

She blinked, “I-I…uh…”

“Why don’t you go get undressed and then come and eat and we’ll talk after. I will get your food ready for you,” he said softly, coming over and pushing her toward the bedroom.

Numbly, she made her way into her bedroom, quickly changing, her head reeling. He was still there, he hadn’t stolen anything, and…he was still there. After finishing, she cautiously made her way out and down the hall, stopping when she saw some of the food laid out on the table and Wonshik sitting waiting for her to join him. He looked up and saw her and smiled, motioning to the chair adjacent to him.

She stared at him for a moment before coming over and slowly sitting, looking at him.

“You should eat,” he said.

Looking down, she stared at the food before looking back up at him blankly.

“Go on and eat, you’re probably really hungry.”

“You’re still here.”

He nodded, “I am.”

“Why?”

“There’s nowhere else I’m supposed to be but here with my jeongbu. Please eat, your food is getting cold,” Wonshik stated, staring into her eyes steadily.

She began to eat, though she could barely taste it, she kept looking at him and he watched her curiously.

“Is it good?”

Her gaze flew to his to find him smirking at her.

“Huh?”

He chuckled, the low deep sound causing her eyes to widen.

“I’ve never seen someone eat like that, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were a robot,” he teased.

She frowned, and he chuckled again.

“Mianhae, I don’t mean to tease you,” he grinned, leaning in closer towards her.

She stilled, her hamburger halfway to her mouth as he looked deep into her eyes. She let out a shaky breath and then nervously looked down at her burger before holding it out to him.

“Did…did you want a bite?” She asked softly.

Slowly he shook his head, “Ani, that burger is not what I want…”

Carefully she pulled the burger back, looking down as she licked at her lips.

“I-I…I uhh…” she stopped, gasping as his face moved even closer to hers, that scent hanging between them.

“Hurry and finish, I’ll be waiting for you in the living room,” he said softly, his breath fanning across her lips.

He stood and made his way into the living room, sitting down on the couch casually. The unfamiliar pounding of her heart could be heard in her ears and her hands shook gently. She wasn’t quite sure what had just happened, what she did know was that she no longer had an appetite, but she stuffed the rest of the burger in her mouth. After finishing the burger, she shoved the fries in her mouth as well, throwing the wrappers and remains out before taking a long drink from her water bottle before putting it in the fridge and seeing the bag with the remaining food in it. Why hadn’t he eaten?

She made her way back out and into the living room, “Wonshik, you could’ve eaten the other food, I got so much.”

He looked over at her a smiled a bit, “Ani, but thank you. I usually eat chicken breast and fish and all that.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Oh c’mon, you have to live a little.”

Wonshik chuckled, “I do. It’s not as if I don’t eat that at all, I do. I try not to eat it too much though, too addicting.”

“Oh, well that makes sense, still, you should eat something.”

“I am not hungry right now, thanks for offering though jeongbu,” he said softly.

She cleared her throat and looked over as Wonshik patted the spot next to him. She hesitated a moment before making her way over and sitting, once again that scent swirled around her. He smelled so damn good, it wasn’t heavy or too light, it was just right and it didn’t seem to bother her allergies.

“So, Wonshik, what was it you wanted to tell me?”

“It is about my purpose here, it is about what I’m going to do for you.”

“Do for me? I don’t really need you to do anything for me, no offense.”

Wonshik stared at her for a moment and she shifted uncomfortably.

“What?”

He looked down at the bracelets on her wrist.

“Where did you get those bracelets?” He asked suddenly.

She looked down at them, “A guy at work, he was there for an intercompany job fair, though I’ve never heard of him or his department before.”

“Rovix”

She looked up at him, “Yeah! How’d you know that?”

“He is my manager.”

“Manager? Wait, you work for my job? Did someone send you for me?”

Wonshik smiled a bit, “Ani, I do not work for your job and I guess you could say someone did give me to you.”

She shook her head, “Ok, now I’m confused.”

He stared at her a moment longer before starting to explain, “I am a love slave, our manager, Rovix, picks our mistresses for us and we serve them until such time they no longer need us. I am here to fulfill all your needs romantically, intimately, and physically for as long as you want or need me, mostly it’s about a need for me though. The bracelets you wear are the symbols of your ownership of me and mine are of my belonging to you,” he explained, pointing to the pair he wore, which were pretty much identical to hers, only wider and more masculine looking.

She simply stared at him and he moved in closer.

“We need to bind together to make it official,” he announced, holding his hand out palm up.

Something shimmered and appeared, looked to be a contract of sorts.

“This is the contract, I have already signed, you need only to do so and it will be official.”

She shook her head, this was utterly unbelievable.

“Look, Wonshik…”

“Ravi.”

“Huh?”

“Ravi, that’s my name, or noye if you rather.”

“Noye is out of the question and I thought you told me your name was Wonshik.”

“It is my given name. My friends used to call me Ravi, kind of a nickname. If you prefer to continue to call me Wonshik, that is fine, it is up to you. Whatever you choose I will accept, I just thought it would make us feel closer since we are going to be bound and intimate, for us to be less formal. It is entirely up to you though,” he stated.

She stood, walking towards the center of the room and away from his intoxicating presence, “Ok, don’t you think this has gone on long enough hmm? I mean, if you feel you’re a love slave, that’s fine. But can’t you let me off the hook here? This really has nothing to do with me and nicknames and…and contracts and all…it’s a bit out there.”

“But jeongbu, this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you.”

She watched as he stood and came up close to her.

“I am here for you, in every way possible. I will be whatever you want, and need me to be, emotionally, and mentally. Most importantly, I want to take care of you physically, make you happy, and keep you sexually satisfied for as long as I’m here.”

She swallowed hard and watched as he lifted his hand again, that contract appearing.

“All you need to do is sign this and I will take care of you for as long as I can…” he said softly.

She stared at him, it was what she wanted. After all these years of being alone, of fending for herself, she just once…just once wanted someone to take care of her.

For just once, she didn’t want to have to be alone.

Reaching out, she took the contract that floated above his hand, read it over carefully, and then without hesitation, pressed her thumb to the box for a few seconds before pulling it away. The small piece of paper lifted up into the air and dissolved into a puff of black smoke.

“Now, I am yours,” Wonshik said softly.

~~~

What happened next, she’d never be able to explain if anyone asked, it was like watching some sci-fi movie or something. His eyes suddenly turned black, and the orange choker around his neck, gave way to a different one, this one black with a silver piece in the center with some kind of intricate design etched into it. Black smoke started billowing around him and then dissolved suddenly, his suit gone, now replaced with a white dress shirt with the first few buttons undone, exposing his broad chest and black pants. His eyes had gone back to their original color and he seemed much more at ease.

Her eyes widened as he came closer to her.

“You’re next, it will hurt though, I am sorry.”

She blinked, confusion filling her until she felt a searing burn on the left side of her neck, right on her jugular vein. Wincing, she took a couple of deep breaths, her eyes never leaving his as the heat increased, her eyes welling up and spilling over. Wonshik frowned, reaching out to wipe at her cheek. She let out a whimper, squeezing her eyes shut, the pain so intense she felt almost on the verge of passing out until it suddenly stopped. Slowly she opened her eyes to find Wonshik staring at her, startled.

“Jeongbu? Are you ok?”

Slowly she nodded, wiping at her eyes, “When you’ve slept out in the cold in below-zero weather, not much really compares. What was that?”

He stared at her moment before replying, “The binding ceremony is complete, you now bare the mark of the love slaves.”

“The mark?” She lifted her hand to her neck and felt raised skin, “A tattoo?”

“Ne, it means you are bound, it signifies your ownership of me. The necklace I wear now means that I am bound and that I now belong to you.”

Bending over, she grabbed her purse, digging through it until she found a makeup compact, opened it, and looked in the small mirror. She saw the tattoo on her neck and then looked over at Wonshik to see the same design that was on his choker, was now on her neck.

“So…so now we’re together?”

“That’s right, you are officially my jeongbu and I’m your noye.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Look Wonshik, I am not your jeongbu, please don’t call me that and you are most certainly NOT my noye, understand?”

He blinked, “As you wish, but what would you like me to call you?”

“Just call me my name.”

Wonshik shook his head, “Ani, I cannot, against the rules. Due to my status, I am unable to be that informal with you.”

“But you can have sex with me?”

“Ne.”

“How does that even make sense?”

Wonshik shrugged, “I do not know.”

“Sex is way more intimate than using my name.”

He shook his head helplessly.

“Ok then, uhh…you can call me whatever you want then ok? ‘Hey you’ is fine.”

Wonshik frowned, “With all due respect, I think I can do better than that.”

“Fine, you choose.”

She squirmed as his gaze fixed on her, racking over her slowly before his eyes met hers again, a small smile on his lips.

“Ok then, I will call you aein.”

Her eyes widened, “Oh…ok.”

“Is that to your liking?”

“Y-yes, that’s fine.”

“Alright then, aein.”

She swallowed hard at the term of affection, she could feel her face burning.

“Would you like to finish the binding with a hug and kiss then aein?”

Her gaze flew back to his, “Hug and kiss?”

Wonshik nodded, “Ne, it will help us to start to get to know each other.”

“Uhh…ok I guess.”

Smiling, he came closer to her and there was that scent again, she inhaled deeply, the smell filling her nostrils. Looking down quickly, she tried to gain control of her emotions, but then she felt his arms slide around her waist and fingers under her chin, lifting her head so her gaze met his.

“I am up here aein,” he said softly.

She swallowed hard, “I-I know…”

What was happening to her? She was a stuttering mess all of a sudden, and couldn’t seem to think or form complete sentences. She stared at him hesitantly and realized quickly, she was way out of her league with the intriguing man in front of her. He leaned in and she brought her hands up to grip at his arms suddenly.

“W-wait a minute,” she panted.

He stopped, his eyes boring into hers, he was so close, she could feel the heat radiating from him, feel his warm breath fanning across her lips.

“Wae? What am I waiting for aein?” He whispered, his gaze resting on her lips.

She watched as his eyes started to swirl black.

“I-I…Won…Wonshik…”

“There is no need to wait,” he murmured as he moved in closer.

She squeezed his arms gently and he stopped, his lips so close, they brushed against hers lightly.

“Hmmm?”

She shook her head slightly, “Nevermi…”

She was silenced when his lips captured hers in a drugging kiss. All thought in her head stopped, simply stopped. She could hear nothing, focus on nothing other than his lips on hers. He pulled her tight against his body, she could feel the solidness of him against her, and for the first time in her life, she felt safe and secure, this from a virtual stranger with a simple kiss.

The next thing she knew, she felt his tongue invade her mouth and a soft whimper escaped her lips. She felt herself pulling him impossibly closer, wanting to feel him all around her somehow. She’d never felt this way before in her life, she’d had her share of kisses and had had guys who resembled boyfriends without actually being one, but never this.

She felt his hands slide down to her legs and he bent at his knees and she felt herself being hoisted up suddenly and she wrapped her legs around his waist, so caught up she didn’t even realize he’d moved them. She pulled away from the kiss for a moment to see they were now sitting on the couch, she looked over at Wonshik to see his eyes were swirling black and a rush of fear took her.

“I will explain later aein,” he whispered before leaning in again to capture her lips.

If she were fully coherent, she would’ve had the frame of mind to have him explain right then and there, but she wasn’t coherent, she was completely absorbed in the kiss and didn’t want it to end. His hands slid up her back, fisting up in her shirt and she pressed closer to him, deepening the kiss even more.

She heard him moan gently and then he tore his lips from hers, leaning in, his lips brushing along her jaw down her neck and then stopped. She was going to ask him why he stopped when his lips brushed over that tattoo and it was as if a thousand fingers had gently run over her skin, the sensation was amazing. She shivered, and a loud moan left her lips, his tongue came out, tracing over the lines and she actually started to pant, whimpering louder. She couldn’t control her reaction, it felt so good, it was as if he were playing her body like an instrument.

Her body went up in flames, how she could go from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds eluded her, all she knew was she felt things she’d never felt before and she was too wound up in it to stop it. Wonshik slid his hands down to her hips, pulling them right up against his and she could feel his arousal, a gasp falling from her lips.

“Holy…”

He pressed up while pulling her hips down and they both moaned loudly. It was supposed to be a hug and kiss, that was all, how’d they end up here? She was trying desperately to hold on, but she was failing fast. Gathering what little restraint she had left, she pushed herself away and off his lap, falling to a heap on the floor at his feet, panting hard.

“Shit…holy shit,” she wheezed.

She shook her head to clear it and looked up at Wonshik finally who looked calm and composed, his gaze on her questioningly.

“Aein? Was there something wrong? Did you not enjoy the kiss?” Wonshik questioned.

“Wrong? Seriously? You practically kissed the life out of me just now and I was ready to let you give me an insane orgasm and you want to know if something was wrong??”

He blinked, “Well…yeah.”

She fell back on the floor with a sigh, how could he sit there and be so blasé about it? Her body clenched at nothing, the tingles still running rampant, it physically hurt to be laying there, feeling so unsatisfied and worked up. She winced, the feeling too strong, her body begging her to let it finish. She whimpered, crossing her legs, which only increased the sensation.

“I can help with that…”

Opening her eyes, she inhaled sharply to see that Wonshik had left the couch and was beside her, his face above hers.

“Let me help finish what we started. It doesn’t need to go any further but…your body…you’re tense, stressed, it’s not good to hold it in. Your body needs that release, let me help you.”

“No no, it’s fine, it’ll pass I’m sure.”

Wonshik raised an eyebrow in amusement, “Really? Will it?”

She nodded quickly, closing her eyes and taking controlled deep breaths.

“Aein…”

Swallowing hard, she licked at her lips, “Hmm?”

She felt him move in close, his lips right by her ear, his low voice whispering to her.

“I can stop that ache, give you pleasure, please allow me. I won’t touch you with anything other than my lips. It’ll be quick and give you the relief your body craves.”

His deep voice almost put her over the edge and her body started to arch, trying to move of its own will, towards him. She could barely think, the sensation was too strong, and her body wanted it too much.

Reaching out, she clutched at his arm, pulling him closer as she let out a choked moan. She heard a soft growl emanate from him, his lips sliding down her jaw, brushing over that tattoo again and she squeezed her eyes shut. Suddenly his lips closed over it and she saw stars behind her eyes as he sucked hard once, then twice and her whole body bowed upwards as a rush of sensation poured over her.

A hoarse groan left her, and her body tightened as his tongue lapped languidly over the tattoo, her other hand came up, clutching at both of his arms now, squeezing tightly as the orgasm crashed harshly over her. She was barely aware of the warmth of his body surrounding her like a blanket and yet as he said, he never touched her otherwise. A few seconds later, her body gently fell back to the floor, her grip on him loosening and her hands falling to the floor limply.

She struggled for air, gasping loudly as her body continued to tremble and recover from one of the most intense orgasms she’d ever had, her body contracting and relaxing gently. Slowly she opened her eyes to find Wonshik over her, his hands by either side of her head, straddling her on his knees, his body had no physical contact with hers and yet, she could still feel him all around her. He watched her intently, black swirling in his eyes yet again. Slowly he pulled away and sat back on his haunches.

“Better?” He asked.

Swallowing hard, she nodded weakly, bringing a hand to her head. The tingles were gone, and her body felt relaxed and sated, she never thought that possible without the actual act of sex, but he’d made it work.

“Shit…how’d you do that with your lips?” She panted, still in awe.

“Come, sit back down and I will explain,” Wonshik said, reaching out to take her hand, gently pulling her to a sitting position.

Slowly she stood and then sat back down on the couch, putting a little distance between them, watching him cautiously as she fanned herself with her hand.

“It all starts with the ceremony that just took place. As I said before, we are bound now, jeongbu and noye. That tattoo you now wear, it is the symbol of love slaves, it shows that you now own me,” Wonshik explained. “This choker that I have on shows that I’m yours. So long as I am bound to you, I am unable to take it off and that tattoo will not go away until I leave. It is a conduit for sensation, emotional comfort, and physical stimulation to be used later when the situation arises.”

She listened silently.

“The bracelets you wear, are my home, they represent me. I live there while waiting for my next jeongbu. As long as you have them on, I am summoned to this realm, if you take them off, I go back to them until I am summoned by you calling my name while wearing them.”

Her eyes widened, “So that explains earlier in the kitchen.”

He nodded, “Ne, exactly. I just ask if you are going to have me go back into those bracelets, to be so kind as to follow through with it quickly. Having one off and one on is painful, it’s like being caught between realms.”

She frowned, “Oh right, I’m really sorry about that, I didn’t know.”

“I know aein, I am not upset. Ultimately, you could choose to do so if you desire, it is up to you.”

“Wait…what? I could do that if I wanted? That’s like…torture.”

Wonshik shrugged, “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

She blinked, “Huh?”

“Some of my jeongbu’s were into that kind of thing and as her love slave, I have no choice but to comply.”

“That’s sick,” she blanched.

Wonshik said nothing, just gave a small smile.

“Uhh well no worries there, I’ll make sure to do it the right way if I need to.”

He bowed, “Thank you.”

“Sure, so are we done?”

He shook his head, “Not quite, still have more to tell you.”

“Ok…”

“Any intimate, physical contact with you, any visual stimulus you give me gets me turned on pretty quick, it is extreme, and I cannot help it. After binding has occurred, it intensifies, my eyes will turn black as a sign of arousal,” he explained. “I will try to control it, but it is hard. I am a man of physical pleasure, your pleasure. That tattoo intensifies it, it is to be used during intimacy to enhance the experience. It only works for me, for us together, it doesn’t work with any other man or love slave.”

Her head was spinning, it felt like something out of the romance novels she loved to read.

“Since we are bound now, we have a connection with each other that grows stronger the more we are around each other, the more intimate we are. Any physical contact strengthens the bond, eventually, I’ll be able to sense your emotions, and your feelings so that I may provide the best sexual experience possible for you. It is helpful for you to tell me or better yet, show me what you like. I will do anything, I can be as harsh or as gentle as you like, you can do whatever you’d like to me, I am yours to use as you wish,” Wonshik explained.

She felt sick, truly sick. Use him, do whatever she wanted with him? She couldn’t even fathom that, she couldn’t use someone in that way.

“L-look…Wonshik…” she started.

He stared at her, waiting for her to continue.

“I don’t think…I don’t think this is such a good idea ok? I’m not cut out for this kinda thing. I don’t use other human beings for my gain, that’s not how I operate.”

Wonshik frowned, “Aein?”

“No really, this isn’t my scene ok? I’m just an average woman, I work, I come home, relax, go to bed, and do the same thing all over the next day. I don’t need a guy who says he’s a love slave, that’s too much responsibility.”

He raised an eyebrow, “You don’t have to be responsible for anything other than letting me pleasure you, so really, the responsibility falls to me. You don’t have to do anything other than enjoy, I assure you it will be worth your while, I will make sure you’re satisfied,” he said softly.

She shook her head and stood quickly, starting to pace, “This is crazy, you realize that right? I can’t…this is…wrong, this is just wrong,” she stopped pacing to look at him. “First off, I don’t know you, we can’t go into a physical relationship as strangers, that’s insane. You could have all kinds of diseases and whatever, no offense ok? I have no idea how many women you’ve been with…”

“45”

Looking at him she frowned in confusion, “What?”

“I have been with exactly 45 women, you will be my 46^th”

She stared at him in awe.

“And you do not need to worry about diseases, I can’t give you any as I cannot contract any, I am also unable to get you pregnant. I am, for the most part, immortal, so the rules that apply to typical men, do not apply to me, you have nothing to worry about. I have unlimited stamina, I never get tired, and I can never not perform. I am ready and willing wherever and whenever you want,” Wonshik finished.

Her jaw dropped, and she let out a shaky breath.

“Oh, I almost forgot to mention, you did say that you didn’t need a guy like me, I can respect that. You should know though that I will not be able to leave until we have consummated this contract. Until you have had the opportunity to try me out, to see what I can do for you, I will stay with you.”

“S-so you mean that…”

“Yes, we will need to…” he chuckled, staring intently at her.

“I really think I’m going to get sick,” she moaned, putting a hand to her stomach as a rush of nausea took her.

Usually, she was able to handle just about anything, but this had her floored at the moment. She wasn’t sure she could do what he asked, he was a stranger, an actual stranger that wanted her to have sex with him before he would leave. There had to be some law against that, there had to be some sort of weird ordinance or something that could prevent it from happening right?

“Sick aein?” Wonshik said suddenly, standing and coming over to her, putting his hand on her forehead. “You don’t seem flushed or hot. Maybe you should take a bath, I can go draw one for you...” Wonshik started, moving towards the bathroom.

“No! I’m fine just…” she reached out, taking his arm to stop him.

Wonshik covered her hand with his own, frowning again, “Your hand is like ice.”

She shook her head, “Whenever I get nervous or whatever, that happens, it’s fine, no big deal.”

“But it is a big deal, you have nothing to be nervous about, please do not fear me. I only want to make you feel good, I cannot do that when you are nervous,” Wonshik said gently, rubbing her hand between his, trying to warm it up.

Letting out a sigh, she slumped a bit, “C’mon, think about it from my perspective. Some strange woman appears saying she’s your love slave sent to make you happy by having sex with you and a contract and all that, wouldn’t that make you a little uneasy?” She questioned.

Wonshik smiled suddenly and she sighed deeply, shaking her head again.

“Of course not, you’re a guy after all.”

He chuckled suddenly, and she looked up at the low rumble.

“Do not worry aein, I get what you’re saying and I get how it sounds. Why not just try me out ok? We don’t have to actually have sex right off, but we can have fun, play around a bit, and get to know each other first if that is what you wish. There is no pressure and I will wait for as long as you want me to, just remember what I said earlier.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“That anything you do could potentially set me off and cause me to become aroused and at that point, I will want nothing more than to be with you, touch you, hold you…taste you. It would be to your benefit to take advantage of those moments, see what you think ok? You won’t be sorry, truly.”

After a few seconds of hesitation, she gave a small nod and Wonshik smiled a bit and she swallowed hard.

She had a feeling she was in way over her head.

Chapter Text

A Couple of Weeks Later

They sat quietly at the table, eating, well her really. He just sat and watched while she had her breakfast. He never ate, not once since he’d been with her had she ever seen him consume food of any kind, healthy or not. She’d made a point of getting extra food when she went grocery shopping, but she ended up being the one that ate it. He’d said he only really ate chicken breast and all, she’d make sure she picked up a package the next shopping trip.

Clearing her throat, she looked up to find Wonshik staring intently at her and she licked at her lips nervously.

He raised an eyebrow, smiling suddenly, “I hope me watching you doesn’t make you uncomfortable…”

She shook her head quickly.

“Nervous maybe?”

Her eyes widened, and she looked back down, shoving a piece of bagel in her mouth.

“Mianhae, I don’t mean to make you nervous,” came his low voice.

“No, it’s fine, it’s just…I wish you’d eat with me.”

“Oh? Really? Wae?”

She looked back up at him, “Well…why not? It’s rude of me to eat in front of you all the time.”

“It is fine really, I don’t need to eat, food does not sustain me.”

She frowned, “Oh? Then what does? I mean, I haven’t seen you eat since you’ve been here and you seem fine, how are you even functioning? I swear, if I’m not snacking throughout the day, I can barely focus.”

“When I became a love slave, I ceased to be mortal as I’ve said. Since I’m not bound by the rules of the human world, I’m bound by the rules of hedonism.”

“Ok, meaning…what?”

“Sex,” Wonshik stated bluntly.

Her fork clattered to the plate, her jaw-dropping, “E-excuse me?”

“Sex, sex sustains me. Well that and any form of intimacy, but sex is the best really, literally and figuratively,” he chuckled.

“O-oh…you said that before, but I didn’t think you were serious.”

“Mmm, don’t get me wrong, I can eat, I enjoy eating of course. When it comes down to it though, what makes me happiest is when I’m intimate with my jeongbu, that gives me satisfaction that food cannot.”

She narrowed her eyes in thought, resting her head on her hand as she looked at him, suddenly intrigued by the thought, “So…ok if you don’t get any, what happens? Do you starve and run out of energy or something?”

“Sort of I guess, you can think of it like that. I can still function and breathe and live and all, but…it becomes overwhelming, holding that part of me off for extended periods of time. It’s like…mmm…it’s like being sick sort of.”

“Oh? How so?” She asked, her food forgotten.

“You just feel uncomfortable, your body feels off, different. It’s like having to take medicine to feel normal, to be able to feel like yourself.”

“So, intimacy kinda keeps you going, keeps your body in working order for lack of a better word.”

Wonshik nodded, “That’s right.”

“Hmmm, that’s interesting, wow.”

Wonshik smiled slightly, “I suppose.”

She looked over at him, “I guess for you it’s not huh? Gotta be kinda annoying.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, your whole life revolves around sex and intimacy,” she started, shoving another piece of bagel into her mouth followed by a strip of bacon.

Wonshik shrugged.

“And while that may seem great at first, after a while it’s probably draining in another way. No real connection, sex is great and all when it’s with someone you love,” she went on, munching on another strip of bacon.

Wonshik stilled, watching her intently.

“But then it becomes meaningless, just an action that needs to be done to satisfy, a motion for survival, something that scratches that itch. There’s no love, no…real affection because you do it because you have to, not because you want to. Can there be any real joy in something that you do by force rather than choice?”

He continued to watch her, saying nothing.

She looked down at her plate, “People do things every day they don’t enjoy just to get by. Could be sex or driving or…living alone. Just because they do it, doesn’t mean it brings them happiness, they do it to survive.”

Letting out a breath, she looked up to find Wonshik staring at her as if he could see into her. She looked away again, shaking her head, “I’m just saying, having sex all the time probably isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, love slave or not.”

“That is very true.”

“Do you…”

“Do I what?”

She looked back up at him, “Do you enjoy what you do? I mean…the loads of sex all the time?”

Wonshik’s eyes widened.

“Oh man I’m sorry, that was an awful thing to ask, wasn’t it? I didn’t mean to ask that as if you’re a thing, I just…Forget I asked, you don’t have to answer,” she frowned, shaking her head in disgust at herself.

He shrugged, “You didn’t offend me, just no one has asked me that before.”

She raised her eyebrow and watched him again.

“I guess I did at first, I am a young guy after all. But after a while, it was just sex. What I feel ultimately doesn’t matter, it’s my jeongbu’s pleasure that’s most important. If I want to or not is irrelevant.”

“Has there ever been someone you wanted to be with, someone with who it was meaningful?”

Wonshik frowned, “Since becoming a love slave you mean?”

“Yeah, wasn’t there one woman you, you know…wanted? You wanted to be with her because she made you feel good or that you liked her? She made you feel special, made you see her as a woman and not just a mistress?” She asked, she couldn’t help it, that part of her that was looking for someone to want her had to know.

“No,” came his cold and unequivocal answer.

She continued to stare at him, her heart pounding harshly.

“It is hard to feel that way about women who use you solely for their purposes. Typically, they don’t do anything that gives me any sense of warmth from them for me to even remotely feel that way. They don’t want anything other than physical from me, they don’t want me to need or think about them and I don’t need to be bothered. It is ok, my purpose is not to love or even like them, it is to satisfy them until such time as I’m no longer needed. I do not need to care about them,” he stated and then his eyes widened as he stared at her. “Oh, aein…what’s wrong?”

The tears started streaming down her face unconsciously, as he’d said those harsh, cold words, the reality set in. She didn’t know what she was expecting from him, this was not going to be a relationship. That said, she knew part of her had foolishly thought of this as a way of making a connection with a man, maybe finding a guy who would want to get to know her, maybe even want to be with her. But to him, she would be nothing but another number, another warm body that he would play with until their time came to an end.

Wonshik reached his hand out towards her cheek and she pulled away, wiping frantically at her eyes.

“It’s nothing, just tired is all. I’m gonna head to work,” she said suddenly, gathering up her dishes and bringing them over to the sink, rising them and putting them in the dishwasher.

“Did I say something wrong aein? I am sorry,” Wonshik said softly.

She shook her head, reaching up to wipe at her eyes again as she closed the dishwasher.

“Not at all, I’ll see you this evening ok?” She said, hurrying to the living room, and grabbing her work bag.

“Aein…”

“Bye!” She called, practically running out the door.

~~~

Wonshik watched her leave, panic filling his body. What had just happened here? One minute they were talking and the next she looked as if he’d torn her soul from her body. He’d never seen anyone go pale so fast. He’d made his jeongbu’s mad before, he’d even had some hit him, but he’d never made one cry, he didn’t like the feeling.

It’d had something to do with what she’d asked him. He’d thought it was a weird question, why would she care if he’d had a relationship with his past jeongbu’s? If he’d like them or not? She was not like the others for sure, he couldn’t quite figure her out, and usually, by this time, he had an idea of what to expect. He’d been with so many women, and after a while, he knew exactly what he had to do, how to act with each one, she was different though.

Sighing heavily, he looked around the apartment, noticing the lack of anything overly personal. There were no pictures of her or of her family, nothing that gave him insight into her. Standing, he made his way down the hallway, standing just inside the doorway to her room, looking around it. He didn’t feel right just going in without her being there and she most certainly hadn’t invited him into her bed yet, but he was still curious.

His gaze scanned the room and still, he found nothing that gave him any idea about her. Did she have siblings? Where were the pictures of her friends? He couldn’t help but wonder why he couldn’t seem to find any ties for her, nothing that connected her to other people.

Narrowing his eyes, he turned and made his way back down the hall, stopping in the center of the room, his hands on his hips. He was at a loss, with no idea what he should do at this point. Typically, when his jeongbu knew his purpose and the fact that he’d be willing to do whatever sexually willingly, they’d be all about it. She hadn’t brought it up since, at least not about actually having sex with him or otherwise. He wasn’t used to just sitting idly by while she decided what she wanted to do.

Wonshik thought for a moment, there was something he could do, something he hadn’t done in years, hopefully, his jeongbu wouldn’t mind when she found out. She wasn’t there now to ask and he’d just have to suffer any consequences she may enforce on him. Making up his mind, he started to look around.

~~~

She sat at her desk, her head on her hand, and stared blankly at her screen. She couldn’t stop thinking about Wonshik, couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d told her. There was really no need for her to get so upset, she knew now what to expect from him, what he’d be thinking of her. Still, she couldn’t help but feel a bit hopeless, feeling as if she’d lost something she’d never really had, as if she was once again, not wanted.

What made it tough now was she didn’t know how to approach him anymore. To know he saw her as more of an obligation than someone he wanted to be with, depressed her. Not that she could expect more, he barely knew her, and in his position, she couldn’t ask for more from him. The situation was really barbaric, it made her sick that he was there in that capacity. What was worse was that she’d accepted him already, which means she had to use him in that way before he could leave, which made her almost as bad as that woman.

Sighing, she looked up as the phone rang, advising her of her next appointment. Deciding to just treat him as any other man and maybe he’d at least look at her kindly and as a friend at the end. Maybe if she were lucky, she’d end up someone he actually wanted to be around.

That Evening

She made her way toward her apartment, several bags in hand. She’d stopped at the grocery store to pick up food for that night’s dinner. She decided she was going to just be herself and treat Wonshik like she would any other guy and not some archaic slave. She was going to get to know him as a person and hopefully, he’d want to get to know her as well. The whole sex thing did pose a bit of an issue, she wasn’t a “friends with benefits” kinda woman, but then again, nothing would progress if they didn’t…

Shaking her head, she’d just let things happen as they did, she wouldn’t necessarily encourage it, but she wouldn’t reject any advances he’d make. She’d never really experienced a lot sexually, she wasn’t a virgin, but she’d never had any huge love affair or anything like that and most certainly hadn’t had anything actual relationship since living in Korea. It may be nice to be intimate with someone, she’d just have to block out the fact that it was out of duty rather than actual personal feelings. In her position, she couldn’t really afford to be picky, who knew when she’d have another opportunity to be with a guy again? She didn’t plan to head back home permanently for a while. It wasn’t as if she had a reason to visit, she had no family waiting for her there.

Still and all, she didn’t want to be alone forever, she hoped for the day she’d find someone to spend forever with, to grow old with. A man who’d love and actually want her, it seemed almost impossible right now, but she couldn’t give up hope completely, she would just wait until she went back home to America and then she’d make a real effort.

After punching in the security code, she opened the door and made her way in. She kicked her heels off and started towards the living room, when hands reached out, taking the bags from her.

“Hello aein.”

She looked up to find Wonshik staring at her, a soft smile on his lips.

“Did you have a good day at work?”

“Oh hello…it was pretty good.”

“Good, why don’t you go take your coat off, I’ll put the bags in the kitchen while you get changed.”

“Thank you, I’ll be quick.”

“No rush, take your time,” he said before turning and starting towards the kitchen.

She blinked, watching him leave before turning towards the closet, shrugging out of her coat, and hanging it up. She hurried across the living room and down the hall to her room, gathering up a change of clothes before heading back out.

“Be right back, gonna shower quickly!” She called.

“Ne!”

That voice, as deep as it was, it sent chills down her back in a good way. She’d get used to it, it was only like this because this was so new, and she wasn’t used to the sound of it. Quickly she showered and was out fifteen minutes later, not wanting to make him wait. Making her way into the kitchen, she looked over to see Wonshik sitting on the couch patiently, watching her intently.

Taking a calming breath, she went into the kitchen, starting to get pots and pans out to make dinner.

“Why don’t you come to sit at the table so we can talk while I make us some dinner,” she said suddenly.

“I already am.”

Turning, her eyes widened when she saw he was already sitting at the table.

“O-Oh.”

He nodded, waiting expectantly for her.

“Uhh…so…what’d you do today Wonshik?” She asked, grabbing one of the grocery bags and bringing it to the counter, starting to pull out several packages of chicken and fish.

There was a pause for a moment before he spoke again.

“I did some writing.”

She turned back to him again, “Writing?”

He looked pained for a moment before he stood, bowing 360 degrees, “mianhae.”

Blinking, “Uhh…why?”

“I did so without your permission, used your…”

“Oh stop that, I don’t care! Write as much as you want!”

Womshik lifted his head to look at her, “Jinja?”

“Of course! What do you write? Fiction? Poetry?” She asked, excited to find something they could discuss.

He blinked and nodded, “Ne…well to the poetry…sort of.”

“Oooo really?”

“Lyrics actually, I like to write songs.”

“Get out, that’s really cool Ravi! Sit back down please,” she said, turning back to the chicken, rinsing, and starting to prepare it.

Ravi slowly sat, watching her closely, “Aein, you called me Ravi…”

“Yeah, I hope you don’t mind. I thought it’d be more relaxed if you’d rather I call you Wonshik again I…”

“Ani, Ravi is fine, it’s great.”

She turned to look at him again and he was smiling warmly at her and her heart started pounding quickly, she looked away shyly.

“Good, I’d like us to be comfortable with each other from now on, so feel free to make yourself at home. This is your home now too and I want you to come and go as you please, eat whatever you want…drink and all that.”

“That is very kind of you aein, thank you,” Ravi said quietly, his voice deeper than usual.

“No need to thank me. So, I bought some chicken and fish for us for dinner tonight. I know you said you don’t need to eat, but I love food and I’m sure you do, so let’s just eat ok? You said you can so long as it’s with me and that you like chicken and fish and all that healthy stuff. I’m not the best cook, but I learned some stuff back home, so I thought I’d make some baked chicken and grilled fish with sides,” she explained.

She stilled when she felt a presence behind her and then arms wrapped around her waist and she swallowed hard.

“Aein, you didn’t have to do that,” came Ravi’s low voice in her ear.

She shivered, closing her eyes, “I don’t…mind.”

“Will you let me help you at least?”

“H-help?”

“Mmm hmm.”

She let out a sigh, her head starting to tip back towards his shoulder. She promised she wouldn’t instigate anything, but with him behind her like that, she felt so warm and she was willing to do anything he wanted. She heard him chuckle and his hold on her tightened, the hand on her stomach, starting to rub a bit.

“Of course, we don’t have to cook right now, we can do other things if you rather.”

Sighing again, she leaned heavily against him, his breath was warm against her neck. She felt him pull her earlobe into his mouth, sucking gently and she squeezed her eyes shut, letting out a soft breath. Holy crap that felt good, so good her body was starting to tingle and her grip on the knife she’d been using, tightened.

“I should probably…finish making this…dinner…”

Her earlobe slid from his mouth as he brought his lips close to her ear, “Mmm, ok aein.”

His hands slid from around her waist and he moved away from her, she felt the loss immediately.

“Aein, why don’t I handle the knife ok?”

She looked down to see the knife shaking in her hand before he reached out, carefully pulling it from her still-clenched hand. Letting out a shaky breath, she looked over at Ravi who took the cutting board and meat and had started to trim it.

“How was work today?” He asked suddenly, glancing over at her.

“Uhh…fine, it was fine.”

“What exactly do you do?” Ravi questioned, setting one of the now nicely trimmed pieces of chicken breast on the plate she’d set aside.

Shaking her head, she went to the other side of the counter, grabbed the package of fish and opened it, starting to season it.

“I work with young adults who are getting ready to move out of the system and help them to become ready to live on their own,” she explained, sprinkling some seasonings over the massive pieces of fish.

Ravi looked over at her, “I guess I’m not quite sure what you mean exactly.”

“Well…orphans, young adults who grew up in the system, never got adopted. Once you reach a certain age, you must leave the orphanage and go off on your own. I help to prepare them for this. Help them with college applications, finding housing, jobs…whatever is necessary, so they make it once they leave. It can be overwhelming and scary to do so on your own without help, and if not done properly, it can result in anger, anxiety, and homelessness,” she explained, flipping the pieces of fish over and seasoning that side as well.

“Ahhh I see. That is very kind of you to do, to care for young people you’ve never met in that way,” Ravi said, setting another nicely trimmed piece of meat on the plate with the other.

“You don’t have to know someone to care for their well-being, we’re all human beings, we all need food and shelter…love. If I can help someone to attain those basic needs, why wouldn’t I? The world is so cruel anyway, why not make sure someone is as ready for that as they can be?” She said quietly, putting the now-seasoned fish on another plate. “I want them to know that someone cares for them, that someone wants them to do well, wants them to know that they’re important and special and they aren’t forgotten, even if they don’t have parents around them. If I can be that sister to them…that family they didn’t have, then I will be,” she finished.

She could feel the air around her still and she looked over to see Ravi watching her, a gentle smile on his lips.

“You are a very special woman aein.”

Blushing, she looked away, “No I’m not and I’m not the only person who does it. There are lots of other people who work at my job, I’m not special.”

“To the people you’re helping you are,” Ravi said simply. “To them, you’re their lifesaver in an unknown and unfamiliar world they’re getting ready to go into.”

She let out a breath, “I guess so. I suppose in some way, I’m mad that it has to be me that does that for them, that it’s not their actual family or…or…their parents. I get angry sometimes, hurt that they are so alone in the world, so lonely.”

“Are you lonely aein?” Ravi asked suddenly.

She was quiet for a moment before grabbing the plate with the fish and turning to the stove.

“How’s the chicken coming?” She asked, unable to answer his question, unable to let him see that part of herself, unable to let herself become involved and open to someone who only saw her as a part of his job, someone who didn’t really care about her.

“It is done, here,” he said, bringing the other plate over.

“Thanks,” she said, setting the chicken in one of the pans she had out and then putting the fish in the skillet.

After putting the chicken in the oven and covering the fish that was now grilling, she turned to find Ravi watching her expectantly

“Well, we have some time while the food is cooking.”

“Ne, is there something you want to do?”

“I do have a little work to do, but it can wait until after dinner. How about some TV?”

Ravi nodded, and they headed into the living room. He never asked her again about being lonely, she was right, he didn’t really care.

~~~

Ravi watched as she worked quietly on some papers she’d gotten out of her work bag. She’d held true to her word and after dinner, had gotten the stuff she’d told him about from workout and was now working intently while he watched TV.

She certainly was a mystery to him, he couldn’t quite figure her out. She always seemed to close down when he seemed to get too close to her, too close to her past. He could feel her restlessness, her unease. Something was bothering her, but they weren’t close enough yet for him to really pinpoint it, to sense it well. It was obvious that she was hiding something, that there was something very painful in her past. It was his job to make her happy and fulfill her desires, but it would be hard if she wasn’t very open to him.

He’d wanted to ask her earlier, about why she didn’t answer him when he asked if she was lonely, but he could feel her pull away, feel that guard go up and he didn’t want to upset her more than she clearly was, so he’d reluctantly dropped it. There would be time for that later, first, he’d have to get closer to her, and try to increase the intimacy so that when the time came, he could enhance the sexual experience for her.

While it appeared that it would take just a bit longer than with his prior jeongbu’s, Ravi wasn’t worried. He’d find out what she liked, and he’d be on to his next jeongbu before he knew it.

Sighing, he looked over at her a moment before looking away, it was becoming rather tedious, this life. He wished he had a purpose like she did, helping people out, making sure they were ok. He missed that, missed having someone to care for. He’d care for his close group of guy friends, but they were in the same situation that he was, so he could do nothing for them. Then of course there was his Sister that he missed so much. He’d been the protective older brother, that’s what he did, what he was known for and he’d loved it. Having someone to kind of watch out for had been great for him, even if she didn’t always think so.

It wasn’t that he didn’t have goals and things he liked to do, but he did like to be needed. Having someone to care for and protect appealed to him in some weird way. He didn’t need to take care of his members, they were all adults. On some level though, they all needed each other in one way or another, they had been there for each other in good and bad times. Ravi had enjoyed that more than he’d let on, it’d felt good to help them out, be it by listening or whatever. He didn’t have that now, he had no purpose other than to let women use him and while he was starting to grow bitter, he also didn’t care, not in the way he should he figured. It was like he’d told his jeongbu, his past mistresses didn’t care about him, so why should he care about them? He figured, if he kept his head down and just did what he had to, he’d eventually get out, he had to, he couldn’t stay like this forever.

There was a way out, he just had to find it

Three Weeks Later

She sighed as she looked down at the paper for the umpteenth time before quickly punching in her security code and making her way into her apartment. It was that time of the year again, she’d been so involved in work she’d completely forgotten about the company party that happened every year around this time. It was a big affair, complete with the ballroom and fancy gowns for the women and suits for the men. It was also an annual reminder of how alone she was as she always went alone.

Attendance was mandatory unfortunately and she usually just made an appearance and left, but not before she got stares for always showing up without a date. Since everyone usually had someone, she typically sat by herself or stood by the wall, conversing with some of her co-workers from her department, getting to know their dates, or catch up with their husbands or wives. At her age to not be married or even dating, was something to be gossiped about apparently, she heard snickers whenever she went to any company activities or functions, but this was always the worst.

Groaning, she slumped against the door, dreading looking for a gown and having to get dressed up and…

“Aein? Are you ok?”

Slowly she opened her eyes, staring blankly at Ravi. She’d completely forgotten, this year was different, she had Ravi now, what was she going to do? She couldn’t just leave him here by himself while she went to the party, that was just plain cruel.

In the weeks since he’d been there, things had gotten progressively better and better. They hung out a lot, talking and getting to know each other better. Ravi seemed to have settled right into her life, he was helpful and attentive, always giving her small hugs or touches here and there. Somehow, she felt completely comfortable and safe with him, which seemed odd because he was still practically a stranger, but she didn’t care, she just knew she wanted to be around him as much as she could, he made her feel good.

With that thought came frustration and fear, she didn’t want to get so attached, especially when it was more than likely one-sided. That and the fact that once they had sex, he’d be gone eventually, she didn’t know what that would be like at the time. She tried to keep her distance, to not get so close, but it was becoming harder and harder, he had this way of seeping into the atmosphere, into her skin that she found difficult to counter.

Then there was the constant issue with her wanting him, really wanting him. She’d never been an overly sexual woman, she enjoyed intimacy of course, but this was something else entirely. He smelled so good and when he’d touch her, it felt like her skin was on fire, she wanted him to wrap her in his arms and hold her tight and never let go, ever. It was becoming dangerous, startlingly dangerous and she didn’t know what to do to stop it.

“Aein?”

She gave him a tired smile and pushed away from the door, “Yeah, I’m good Ravi, no worries,” she said.

She made her way past him and stopped when she felt a hand on her arm and she turned to see Ravi looking at her in amusement, “What’s wrong?”

“Your coat.”

Blinking, she looked to see she was still in her coat and shoes, she was so riled thinking of him, she’d completely forgotten.

“Damnit, I completely…”

Her eyes widened when Ravi knelt down, pulling her shoes off before standing again and taking her coat off, and heading towards the door.

“Go ahead and get undressed aein,” he said, carefully setting her shoes down and then turning to the closet.

Her feet still tingled from his touch. Shaking her head to clear it, she hurried to her room, got a change of clothes, and headed into the bathroom for a quick shower. Twenty minutes later, she headed out and over to the couch, slumping down, resting her head back, and closing her eyes. She felt him sit next to her and then felt her head being lifted a bit and something soft under it. Opening her eyes, she turned her head to see a pillow below her head now and she looked over to the kitchen to see Ravi tinkering around in the kitchen, it was the last thing she saw as her eyes slowly closed.

~~~

“Aein…aein…wake up, time for dinner.”

The deep voice made its way smoothly into her ears, her heavy eyes fluttered open to see Ravi in front of her, watching her.

“Aein, you must eat,” he said softly, coming to sit next to her, sliding his arm behind her shoulders.

She moaned softly, inhaling deeply, taking in his wonderful scent. Her head lolled to the side, falling onto his shoulder, she was so tired, and having his warmth around her made it worse.

“Mmmm Ravi…” she sighed, her eyes drifting closed again.

“Aww you’re so tired, I know. Eat and then sleep, you have to eat. You forgot your lunch again I know, I saw it in the fridge, that’s why you’re so tired, you need to keep your strength up. Aein…aww aein”.

~~~

Rolling over, she opened her eyes to see it was two in the morning and she bolted up to find herself in bed, a blanket over her. Her stomach growled suddenly and she winced, she was starving. Groaning, she fell back on the bed, she’d fallen asleep on the couch before dinner. She remembered Ravi trying to wake her up and then he’d sat next to her and surrounded her with warmth and she couldn’t keep her eyes open. He must’ve brought her to bed and covered her up, he should’ve left her out there to suffer, it’d been insanely rude to fall asleep on him like that.

Sitting back up, she rubbed at her face and slipped out of the bed. It was too late to eat, though her stomach was screaming at her to do so. She made her way out of her room and down the hall, frowning when she realized the TV was on. Making her way to the end of the hall, her eyes widened when she saw Ravi sitting on the couch, writing intently.

Her trip to the bathroom forgotten she headed towards him, the room was heavy with the light scent that always surrounded him, it made her feel warm and secure somehow. She wished she could bottle that scent and keep it with her, she’d never be afraid of anything if she had that scent around her. Coming up next to him, he continued to write, seemingly oblivious to her presence, she hated to bother him, so she carefully sat down next to him, watching in amusement as he wrote feverishly.

After a few minutes of him writing without stopping, she couldn’t take it any longer, that and watching him was strangely erotic, the way his fingers held the pen, the way his other hand caressed the paper, she was slowly getting turned on and she knew she needed to stop it, the pure craziness of her emotions scared her.

She leaned in close to him, “Whatcha working on?” She asked softly.

Ravi jerked, his head snapping up, his eyes widening when he saw her.

“Aein! How long have you been there?”

“Doesn’t matter, is that a new song?”

He blinked then looked down at the paper, “Oh…oh ne, it is.”

“Ooo…is it…can I see it?”

He hesitated a moment, “It’s not very good, just some thoughts I’ve had and all…”

She nodded, “I don’t mind, but I don’t want to force you either.”

Ravi handed the paper to her, “It’s ok.”

She took it and started to read the first few lines of lyrics, “Tell me your love to the point where I melt. Tickle my heart, show me your love, yeah we’re burning up baby. Whisper yourself into my heart…” She finished, looking over at him. “This is really good,” she smiled.

His eyes lit up, “Jinja?”

“Yeah, I like it, I bet it’d be great to music,” she smiled, handing the paper back to him. “Great start!”

“Gomawo,” Ravi grinned.

“Is that what you used to do before everything happened or…” She questioned.

Ravi nodded, “Ne, well sort of. I was a DJ, I had started getting into songwriting and rapping when I became a love slave. Music has always been my passion though, any form of it. I’d been writing for a bit, started with poetry, and developed into writing songs about my experiences, about life and I was prepared to incorporate that into my deejaying as well as rapping, but it never ended up happening.”

She frowned, “Well that sucks.”

He grinned, “It does ne.”

“So, you know how to use a soundboard and all that huh?”

Ravi nodded, “Ne, it’s very easy once you get used to it.”

“Wow, that’s really cool. I’m sorry that someone like me is preventing you from following your dream,” she said quietly.

“How do you figure?”

She looked over at him, “What do you mean?”

“How are you preventing me from following my dream?”

“Well look at me, I…I’m going to be using your…your…services. Since you’re with me, you can’t do what you want, it’s my fault.”

Ravi shook his head, “Ani, you didn’t do this to me, you didn’t make me a love slave. You using me is no different from the women who have in the past, it’s not as if you asked for it, it is what it is.”

She stared at him sadly, “But…I can’t do anything about it. I have to use you, I have to take what you’re offering even if I don’t want to, even if I want you to be free of me. I’m going to be using you like an object as if you’re a piece of meat. I may not be the one who did this to you, but I’m just as bad,” she said softly, looking down.

She didn’t know how she could do this with him with those thoughts in mind constantly. She’d had a rough life, the last thing she wanted was to treat someone the way she was expected to treat the man sitting next to her. She tensed as he set the paper down on the table in front of them and then moved in closer to her.

“Aein, trust me when I say you are nothing like the woman who did this to me, not at all. I haven’t known you for a long time, but I know, I can tell you are a good person. You are a victim of your circumstances, well if you want to call it a victim. I see it more as an opportunity,” Ravi stated.

Looking up at him, she frowned in confusion.

“Well sure, think of it like this. There are no strings, no chance of you getting hurt, no sicknesses, no nothing. It’s all about having fun and your pleasure and you have a man sitting next to you who is willing to do whatever it takes to please you. You can do all those things you’d thought of, but were too afraid to try, too afraid to ask for. You can finally be free to explore and enjoy every minute with no worries.”

Sighing she looked back down, “Sounds like a dream come true to some, but for me…I need more Ravi, I want more,” she said, looking back up at him.

He blinked, and she smiled a bit, shaking her head before reaching out and taking his hand between hers, staring at it wistfully.

“Aein? Are you ok?”

Slowly she shook her head, “Truthfully Ravi, no, I’m not. I don’t think I’ve ever been ok.”

“Will you tell me about it?” He asked gently.

Slowly she lifted her head to look into his earnest eyes and she gave him a small smile, “Maybe sometime…ok?”

Ravi stared at her a moment before nodding and she gave him a brief nod before standing, stretching a bit.

“C’mon, let’s go to bed.”

Ravi looked up at her, “To bed?”

“Yeah, it’s late, I’ll get up early and make breakfast for us. For now, let’s just go to bed,” she announced, turning and heading down the hall to her bedroom.

Once inside, she walked over to the bed and slid under the covers. She went to lie down when she saw Ravi standing just inside the doorway.

“Ravi?”

“I have no problem staying in here with you aein, but do you mind if I get a blanket and pillow to put on the floor?”

She blinked, “The floor?”

“Ne, it is cold. I don’t have to, I just thought I’d…”

“What do you mean floor? Get into the bed, it’s too cold on the floor,” she said, frowning.

Ravi stared at her, “In the bed?”

“Yeah, c’mon,” she announced, pulling the covers back and starting to slide down in the bed.

After a few minutes of nothing, she turned back around, her eyes widening when she saw Ravi standing right by the bed.

“Ravi? Is something wrong?”

“You are inviting me into your bed?” He questioned.

She blinked, “Yeah, why not? You’ve been with me for a while now, if you were going to do something, you’ve had plenty of opportunities, I think it’s pretty safe.”

Ravi stared at her, “You are allowing me into your bed.”

“That’s right, I’m letting you in my bed. What’s the big…Ravi?” She blurted out, startled.

She saw smoke starting to swirl around him, his eyes clouded over in black as the cloud of black smoke started to surround him. Backing up in the bed a bit, she watched in shock as the smoke enveloped him for a few seconds before dissolving completely, leaving him in what appeared to be black silk pajamas. Her jaw dropped, and he bowed before her gracefully.

“You have strengthened our bond aein, this space…your room is now scared to us, to our relationship,” Ravi said softly before straightening, looking into her eyes.

She found she couldn’t look away as he made his way to the bed, sliding under the covers and that scent that surrounded him, grew heavier, stronger, covering her like a warm mist, she felt drugged with it. Ravi moved in closer so his body was brushing up against her.

“S-so…does this mean…I mean do we have to…”

He shook his head, “Ani, we will do nothing you don’t want.”

“Ok but…what just happened here?”

A few minutes later, she was staring at him in wonder.

“You don’t say?”

Ravi frowned, “Uhh…well that’s how it is now.”

She nodded, “Ok then, so this means for the remaining time, we’ll be in bed together.”

“Are you ok with that aein? If not, I can always sleep on the floor.”

She gave him a look, “No you won’t, I know what it is to sleep on the cold floor or on the cold ground, I won’t do that to you. No, you’ll be in this bed with me and that’s that.”

“You aren’t worried at all about sleeping with a guy you don’t know?”

Smiling wistfully, “No Ravi, I’m not worried. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve slept beside someone I didn’t know well and hell, I know you more than them, it’s cool.”

Ravi frowned in confusion, “Not the first time aein?”

She stared at him, a wave of pain crossing her features before she gave him a small smile, “No, not the first time. C’mon Ravi, let’s get some rest ok?”

She slid back down in the bed and rolled onto her side, facing him. Ravi slid down beside her, his eyes locked on hers. Staring intently at him, she gave him a sleepy smile before slowly closing her eyes.

“Goodnight Ravi.”

He hesitated a moment before responding, “Goodnight aein.”

~~~

Ravi watched as sleep took her and her body relaxed into the bed and he finally relaxed. Reaching out, he ran his fingers over her cheek gently. There was something she was hiding, he was sure of it, this whole thing tonight proved it. Whatever it was, was extremely painful, he could see it in her eyes, in the way her body tensed up whenever he asked about it.

Sliding his fingers down a bit, he gently moved down toward the tattoo. Keeping his eyes on her, he ran his fingers over the raised skin and heard her sigh softly as he started to rub lightly. He felt her body relax instantly and he carefully removed his fingers, continuing to watch her thoughtfully.

Ravi found himself wanting to know more and more about it, wanting to figure her out and learn about her, not just in the physical, but in the emotional and mental way too. It was rare for him as none of his other jeongbu’s really made him care about anything other than achieving his goal. This jeongbu was proving to be different though and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it yet.

Chapter Text

She flipped through the stations in boredom, wanting desperately to be distracted, but finding no relief on the TV. She knew she should be out shopping for a gown, but she really didn’t want to, that said, she didn’t have too much longer before the party though. Looking down at the coffee table, she picked up the flyer and sighed.

Looking over at the table, she found Ravi writing intently, he was obviously entertained with his writings, and he had no problem keeping himself occupied. She hadn’t had the chance to ask him if he wanted to go to the party for fear of sounding pathetic. He would know how much of a loser she was once she asked him, too lame to have a boyfriend, she had to bother him with something as frivolous as a company party.

Still, she didn’t want to go alone, she was tired of going alone. What if he told her no? What if he didn’t want to be bothered, what did she do then? Willing to take that risk, she stood and headed over to the table reluctantly.

“Uhh…Ravi? Do you have a moment?”

He looked up, smiling at her, “Of course aein, I always have time for you.”

He set his paper to the side immediately, reaching out to take her hand and pull her down into the chair across from his.

“It won’t take long, and you can go right back to your writing.”

“I am not worried about my writing, what did you need?”

“Here’s the thing…I have a…party that I have to go to, for my job.”

Ravi nodded and continued to watch her, her hand still grasped gently in his.

“And well…I usually…I usually go alone every year.”

He frowned, “Oh? Wae?”

She shrugged, “I don’t have a boyfriend, no guys that I can really ask or…care to ask so…”

“I see.”

“Yeah and so…I was thinking that…well the party is in a few days and I have to pick out my gown, it’s a formal thing, gowns and suits and all that. So…I thought that maybe you…I mean since you’re here with me and we’re friends and all and if you’ve got nothing more important to do…”

“Yes, aein?”

“Would you like to umm…maybe you’d like to go with me?” She asked quietly, cautiously lifting her gaze to his for a second before looking away. “You don’t have to, so don’t feel obligated ok? I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to and I most certainly don’t want to subject you to the torture of forced social interaction if you don’t…”

“Of course, I will go with you aein, you don’t even need to ask.”

Her gaze shot to his, “Really?”

Ravi chuckled, “Ne, I want to go with you, I want to do anything with you. Anything that makes you happy, will make me happy.”

She blinked, “Wow, ok. This party doesn’t make me happy, but your agreeing to go makes me insanely happy.”

He smiled broadly, “Then it is worth it aein.”

She could feel herself blushing and she shook her head, “Thanks Ravi, I really appreciate this. I’ll find some way to pay you back, just give me some time to figure something out.”

Ravi shook his head, “No need aein, it is my pleasure.”

“I know it’s…can I ask you something?”

He nodded.

“Would you be able to say no? Be straight with me.”

He hesitated, looking away.

She shook her head, “I kinda figured.”

“Ne, but there’s a difference here aein.”

“What?”

“Any other time I’ve been forced to go to functions with my aein, not by choice. I was never asked, just told what I was going to do. You actually gave me the courtesy to ask me, giving me a choice, and because of that, I really want to go. I’d be really honored to be your date,” Ravi smiled, giving her a wink.

Her eyes widened, her heart fluttering wildly, “Oh, ok, well thanks.”

Ravi chuckled, “Ani, thank you.”

~~~

She couldn’t help but notice all the looks they were getting as they made their way down the street. It wasn’t so much her, though she was used to the stares as a foreigner there for a few years now. No, this wasn’t her, it was Ravi. The looks women were giving him as if they wanted to devour him and to his credit, seemed completely oblivious. She wasn’t truly convinced that he was, more like he’d learned to zone it out.

Still, she found it slightly unnerving, people were looking at her, but in disbelief that she was with him, she’d never experienced that before.

“Did you have a specific design in mind?” Ravi asked suddenly.

She looked over at him and shook her head, “Not really. I’m not into those shift dresses though, the ones that are kinda form fitting, I’m more of a full skirt kinda lady.”

Ravi nodded and continued to look at the various stores. When she’d mentioned she needed to get a gown, he’d suggested they go out clothes shopping. Where she didn’t want to be bothered before, now that she had an actual purpose, a date, she was excited to go.

Dress shopping in Korea was always hard for her, clothes shopping period was hard. She was by no means tiny, she didn’t have a petite frame or anything of the like. In America, she’d be considered average, and curvy. But here in Korea, she was considered overweight and finding clothing was almost impossible. Most of the time, she’d order stuff and have it sent to her from America, but it was never the case with the company party. They gave such short notice, there wasn’t enough time to order and get it before the party and have any possible alterations done, even with express shipping, which ran insanely expensive. Nine times out of ten, she had to go to Itaewon to find things, it was the one place sort of geared towards foreigners and the place she felt most comfortable.

“I’m gonna have to go somewhere else to get my clothes, but we can look to get you a suit here if you’d like. I don’t want to seem…well I mean, I can get it for you since…”

Ravi shook his head, “No thank you, I’m all set. I can take care of that, no need for you to buy it for me.”

“I’m not trying to hurt your male pride or act as I own…”

He chuckled, “Ani, it is not that. I can take care of it, I don’t need to buy anything. All I’ll need to know is the color of your gown and I’ll take care of the rest.”

She blinked, “Oh yeah?”

“Mmm, no worries, let’s just take care of you ok?”

“Uhh sure, ok then.”

“So where did you need to go then?”

“Itaewon.”

“Ahh yes, that’s the place a lot of foreigners hang out, I’ve been there once or twice several years ago, before becoming a love slave of course.”

“Didn’t your other…uhh…you know, take you out?”

“Mmm not really and if they did, it wasn’t to areas like that. It was more or less clubs, or shopping with their friends, kinda to flash me around and make others jealous,” he shrugged.

“Oh, I see. So how long since you last went out then?”

Ravi shrugged, “Not sure, a few months. It’s been a while since my last jeongbu and with her we didn’t, well I should say that I didn’t go out much so yeah, a while.”

“That’s lousy, we’ll have to make sure we go out often ok? Maybe once a week, more if possible. Maybe to the movies or out to dinner, or to karaoke…something fun, does that sound good? Ravi?” She stopped and turned to look at him when she realized that he’d stopped and was just watching her. “Ravi? Did I say something wrong?”

“You want to hang out with me? For fun?”

“Yeah, why not? I’m sure a lot has changed, it’ll be nice to go out and see things. It’ll be nice to have someone to be with for a change,” she shrugged. “You don’t have to if…”

Ravi came forward, shaking his head, his gaze searching hers thoughtfully, “I want to aein, very much, thank you.”

“You’ve got to stop thanking me so much, we’re friends, friends hang out and they have fun, right?”

He stared at her a moment before nodding.

“Well then, that’s what we’re doing. C’mon, let’s get a taxi, the earlier we get there the better, it gets really crowded the later it gets, especially on the weekends,” she smiled, hailing a taxi.

A short time later they arrived and started down the street, looking in various stores and also looking at the street vendors. They stopped and got some street food at her insistence, ordering ddoboki, fish cakes, and the like. She managed to convince Ravi to partake and she swore she would never forget as long as she lived, the look of pure pleasure on his face after he bit into one of the spicy rice cakes, it was almost comical.

“Wahhh delicious, I forgot how good these are,” he sighed, spearing another with his toothpick and popping it in his mouth.

She couldn’t help but laugh as she took a bite of one of her own. After that, they continued their way down the street, her eyes lighting up when she found a vendor selling black bean noodles.

“Look Ravi, jjajangmyeon!” She announced, jumping up and down a bit and pointing feverishly at the stand.

Suddenly he laughed, not a chuckle this time but a full-out laugh and she stopped where she was at the sound. The deep sound that emanated from him was nothing she’d heard from him before and she was even more surprised when his voice suddenly went up an octave or two and she couldn’t help but start laughing as well. She didn’t expect this from him, he was always so composed, so calm and to hear him laugh like this, she loved it.

“Y-yah…” he laughed, “I’ve never seen someone so excited about jjajangmyeon before!”

“I can’t help it, I love it!” She said excitedly, “Let’s get some!”

Ravi nodded, “Whatever you’d like aein,” he grinned, still laughing.

“You’ll have some with me, right?” She asked.

Ravi stared at her and then smiled, giving her a nod.

Four bowls of jjajangmyeon later and they were off once again.

“Holy crap I’m full,” she sighed contently.

“It was a lot, it’s rare I find a woman who can eat like that, two bowls, I’m impressed,” Ravi nodded.

She smiled, “Well yeah, I love food and it shows,” she chuckled. “Life is too short to be so worried all the time, you learn to appreciate food when you have to go without for a period of time. It makes you put things into perspective,” she said idly as she looked in various windows.

She didn’t see Ravi watching her curiously at her statement, trying to figure out its deeper meaning.

“I think I’m gonna go in here, looks interesting. You don’t have to come if you don’t want, it’s all dresses and stuff,” she announced, giving him a look.

Ravi nodded, “Ok aein, I will check some other stores around here, I’ll be back in a bit.”

She nodded and waved as he made his way down the street, she watched him go before going into the shop and looking around. While she wasn’t as self-conscious as she used to be, she wasn’t sure she could shop for dresses around him, she’d rather him not see her Korean size. As much as she was ok within herself, having an attractive guy watch her try on dresses seemed it bit awkward.

The shop was practically empty, save for one or two customers wandering idly around. Finding the dress section, she headed over, going through the racks of gowns. After about fifteen minutes, she was going to give up, when her eye caught a gown towards the back of one of the racks. Reaching out she grabbed it, her eyes lighting up, it was perfect. As luck would have it, it was just her size. After speaking to the woman at the counter, she was let into one of the dressing rooms. It fit perfectly and as she looked out the window she sighed, it really was pretty, too pretty for her if she were honest with herself.

The gold embellishments all over the dress matched well with her skin tone, the full skirt was exactly what she liked, and long gloves would complete it perfectly, she’d have to find a good dress clutch purse to use though. She shook her head, she wasn’t sure though, she just didn’t know. She’d gotten used to having to try on dresses and other clothes without a second opinion, but it was times like these she wished she had a close girlfriend or a Mother she could ask for advice, she wasn’t very good at this kind of thing, never had any real guidance.

Chewing at her lip, she considered going out and asking the sales lady, but she was always apprehensive to have people look at her, really look and judge her in clothes, it was tough there. Surprisingly, she found herself willing to suffer any possible criticism or ridicule to make sure she actually looked good so that Ravi would look good with her, she didn’t want to embarrass him. She had someone else to think about this time, she wanted him to be proud to be at the party with her.

Reaching a shaky handout, she unlocked the door and slowly poked her head out, looking around warily. Her eyes finally found the older woman by the counter and she looked around again, the store appeared to be empty aside from her now, so she didn’t have to run the risk of anyone else seeing her and making it worse.

Clearing her throat, she called out.

“E-excuse me…ma’am…”

The lady lifted her head and made her way over to her.

She hesitated a moment before speaking, “I-I was wondering if you may be able to…to help me a moment?”

The lady nodded, “Sure, what can I help you with? Did you need another size?”

“Uhh, no, I wanted to know if you could tell me h-how I l-look in this…dress?” She said softly, looking away, the heat of embarrassment rising on her cheeks.

The lady blinked and then nodded slowly, “Of course.”

Slowly she lifted her head to look at the woman, giving her a sad smile, “Thank you, I just…you can be honest ok? Give it to me straight.”

Again, the woman nodded, and she knew she asked for it and now she had to be prepared. Taking a deep breath, she stepped back a bit and slowly pulled the door back and open wide. The woman’s eyes widened as she looked her over. She felt her heart drop as the woman continued to stare at her, she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

“Come…come out, let me see you better,” the woman announced, reaching out to take her hand, pulling her out from the safety of the room.

She shook her head, “Ma’am, I think I should take it off…”

“Yeppeun, very pretty,” the woman said suddenly, walking around her.

The woman started to tug and pull at the dress a bit with an expert hand. Her eyes widened as the lady turned her to look in the mirror in the dressing room, a huge smile on her face.

“This dress has been here for months, I never thought I would sell it, it just appeared one day. A young man brought it in and told me to keep it, that there would be someone coming for it soon, I never saw him again after that. A lot of women have tried it on, but no one looked as good as you do, this is perfect for you.”

She blinked, “P-perfect?”

“Ne, you may have to take it in a little here and here…but I can do that for you, no problem. I can take your measurements now and have it done in just a few days. And ahh, I have just the things to go with it, one moment,” the lady smiled and disappeared within the store.

She looked at herself in the mirror again, feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything. The woman actually said she looked good.

“Here you are, nice long dress gloves, and a purse, it is perfect for it don’t you think?” She smiled, looking at her as she handed her the accessories.

She didn’t know what to say, she hadn’t expected this.

“Ahh so pretty, you’ll be able to get any man you want with a face like that,” the lady said, reaching a hand up to caress her cheek gently.

She went still as the woman touched her affectionately and she blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “Is this what it’s like to have a mom?”

The woman’s eyes widened.

“S-sorry ma’am, I’m sorry,” she whispered, bowing suddenly, reaching up to wipe at her eyes.

She lifted her eyes to the woman to find her staring at her sympathetically. “I’ll take them, I’m just gonna go get undressed,” she said, setting the gloves and purse down on the closest counter before hurrying back into the dressing room, shutting and locking the door before leaning against it.

She was usually so in control and had learned to hide that part that longed for the love of a Mother, for that support, but the way the woman had looked at her, the way she’d touched her, it’d been too much. The tears steadily streamed down her face and she couldn’t seem to wipe at them fast enough before they were replaced with more.

Trying desperately to pull herself together, she lowered her head, squeezing her eyes shut, but nothing seemed to help as the tears flowed faster, falling to the gown. Quickly she undressed, putting the gown back on the hanger, looked in the mirror, and frowned. Her eyes were swollen, and her cheeks were red. Slumping down to the small bench, she took a couple of calming breaths, she knew she couldn’t wait too long as she would draw attention to herself by being in there like that.

Wiping again at her eyes, she lightly patted her cheeks, trying to smack some sense into herself. Letting out another deep breath, she made her way out of the room, grabbing the gloves and purse off the shelf before heading over to the counter to pay. She kept her head down, avoiding eye contact with the woman who she’d already embarrassed herself enough in front of. It would be the first and last time she ever shopped there again.

“Are you ok?”

Nodding, she pulled her wallet out and handed the woman her card, “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“Wae? I’m sorry for making you upset.”

She looked up at her, “No, you did nothing wrong, I just…”

The woman stared at her, giving her a warm smile, “To answer your question, I guess so. My children tell me all the time that I tend to suffocate, and I shouldn’t touch my customers like that, but you looked so pretty and well…” She gave her a wistful smile.

She stared longingly at the woman, “I…I didn’t mind it.”

The woman tilted her head to the side and studied her intently, “I can see that. Do you not have someone? Someone to take care of you? Someone to watch over you?”

Her eyes welled up and she looked down, shaking her head, “Just myself.”

“Aigoo, you need a man, a man to protect you…”

“I don’t have one, there is no one…” she whispered.

There was the chime of the bell signaling that someone had entered.

“Ahhh someone like him,” the woman said suddenly.

Quickly she wiped at her eyes again and then stilled when that familiar scent surrounded her.

“Aein, are you ok? I could tell that you…” came the low voice.

She turned to find Ravi standing behind her, concern in his eyes as his gaze raked over her quickly as if taking her in, making sure she was alright.

“I tried to get here sooner, mianhae,” he bowed before looking up at the woman and bowing again.

The woman looked at him curiously and then at her, “So you do have someone then, your namjachingu.”

Her eyes widened, “No no, he’s not, he’s…he’s my close friend.”

She could feel Ravi’s eyes on her and she looked back down.

“Chingu huh? So handsome…What did I tell you before? You should make him yours, you could you know?”

She looked back up at the woman and then glanced at Ravi, her face burning before looking away again, “Well uh…”

The woman chuckled, “I see, well I’ll leave that up to you two to figure out, but I must say you’d make a great couple. She needs to be protected eh? Don’t let her be so unhappy,” the woman announced, looking at Ravi intently.

“Ne, I will not, I will take care of her,” Ravi said earnestly.

She wished the ground would open up and swallow her as she reached out to take the gown bag and the other bag from the woman, when hands intercepted her, reaching out to take them before she could.

“Gomabsebnida omma,” He said to the woman, bowing again.

The woman looked back over at her, “I hope you’ll come again.”

Not likely, she would survive without the alterations. She gave her a weak smile and bowed before turning and making her way out of the store, hurrying through the door that Ravi somehow managed to hold open for her. They started down the sidewalk and she said nothing to him, but she could feel his curiosity.

“What color is your dress aein?”

“Uhh, gold…gold and white.”

“I can’t wait to see you in it, I bet you look very nice.”

She shook her head, staring straight ahead, “Not really, I never really look good in dresses and gowns.”

“You don’t have to lie aein,” Ravi said suddenly.

She looked up at him startled.

“You are too modest,” he chastised gently.

“I-I’m not…” she sputtered.

Ravi looked at her and raised an eyebrow, smirking, “Jinja?”

“Yes really.”

“Mmm, we’ll see,” he smiled.

~~~

The Evening of the Party

Ravi tugged on the ends of the gold vest, straightening it out before reaching out to grab the white suit coat, and slipping it on. The days leading up to the party had been interesting, he’d never seen his jeongbu so nervous, and she was perpetually on edge constantly. He wasn’t entirely sure what she was so nervous about, but he had a strong feeling it had to do with him and how she looked.

Their connection had gotten stronger still and he found it easier and easier to read her. They slept in the same bed every night, he would touch her when he could, nothing huge, not like he wanted. He felt it important they get through tonight before he upped his intensity, but once tonight was over, it was on for him. Things were progressing too slow for his liking, he wanted to get to it, so he could move on.

Frowning, he sat on the couch, it didn’t seem right to think that though, not like before. He actually liked this jeongbu, she was nice, and fun. She was considerate of him and treated him with respect, something that hadn’t happened since he’d become a love slave. They actually hung out a bit and did stuff together, he felt more like a person than a love slave, it would be all too easy to get used to it, which is why he couldn’t. Life for him wasn’t like this anymore, it wasn’t easygoing and fun, he was a love slave, and he had a specific purpose. Not all of his jeongbu’s would be so nice, so understanding and he would do well to remember that.

Laying back on the couch, he looked in the direction of her room and sighed. He couldn’t help but think about what’d happened a few days ago when they’d gone out shopping for her dress. While they’d been apart, he’d been looking through various stores, trying to get a grip on what he’d missed out on the last several months, it was all so new, so much had changed in such a short time, but maybe it hadn’t actually been that short. Four years was a long time to be away from society in a normal way, his life was anything but normal now. He could go months, years without any contact with anyone other than his jeongbu. Sometimes he felt as if he didn’t even know how to act anymore, everything was just so foreign to him.

What lingered though, was the interaction with the sales lady, what had she meant? Something had happened to his jeongbu, he could literally sense it, feel it. Shortly after they parted, he’d gotten sensations, twinges if you will, that something was wrong with her. It further progressed to straight-up stress, he could feel her agitation, her emotion, something had been wrong. The moment he realized she was upset, he took off, but the massive crowds and groping hands of overzealous females, had hampered his attempts to get to her, slowing him down and it was painful for him. The more pained and upset his jeongbu was, the more it affected him, her pain was his.

It wasn’t so much for his sake, he could handle the pain better than a human could, but the thought that she was in distress, made him upset in a different way. The thought of her being unhappy didn’t seem fair, didn’t seem right. When he’d finally gotten there, the moment he stepped inside, he could feel it, feel her sadness, her sorrow and it’d taken all he had in him not to pull her into his arms and hold her until her pain stopped.

Something had happened, he wished he knew what though and he wished he knew why the feeling to comfort her had also been so strong. He heard the door to her room open and he stood, straightening his clothes his gaze swinging to the hall from which she emerged, and he stopped, went completely still.

She looked amazing, not just amazing, beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

When Ravi had first seen her a few months ago, he didn’t think much of her. She most certainly wasn’t his type, she was nothing like the women he generally went for, too plain, too average and he’d never seen her in any other way for him to think differently.

Until now.

Suddenly his palms were sweaty and then she turned, her gaze finding him and she smiled, and his heart started pounding wildly.

“Whoa Ravi, you look very handsome, holy crap!” She said, making her way over to him and he was assaulted with the scent of something warm and sultry and realized she was wearing some sort of perfume.

It was seductive and somehow made him think very sensual thoughts, thoughts of him and her, together in bed, rolling around and becoming lost in each other’s embrace. The thought of it made his body harden, he could feel the change in his body, his eyes as he continued to stare at her, the hunger in him starting to grow.

“You were right, your suit matches the exact color of the gold in my gown, amazing! How’d you do it?” She gasped, looking at him, her eyes widening when she noticed his eyes finally. “Ravi?”

Despite all his promises not to start anything yet, he couldn’t help but reach out, slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her against his body. She continued to watch him, bringing her hands up to grab at his arms.

“Ravi? What’s gotten into…”

He leaned in, covering her lips with his own, kissing her deeply. He couldn’t seem to stop himself, she was the same woman she’d always been, but he felt like he was actually seeing her for the first time since he’d arrived. He tightened his hold on her, pulling her tighter against his body and he heard a soft moan escape her lips. His hands came up, coming in contact with the zipper of the gown and he tore his lips from hers, pressing his forehead to hers, panting hard.

“Wha-what brought that on?” She panted.

“You look so beautiful…”

Lifting her head, she stared at him as if he’d grown two heads, “Huh?”

He brought his gaze to hers, “You are, you look beautiful…this gown it just…”

“Thanks but I don’t…it’s just a gown Ravi and you don’t have to say that, I get how I look.”

He shook his head, “Ani, I am not just saying it,” he said, sliding his hands up and down her sides. “What I’d really like to do is unzip this gown and get you out of it and feel you properly.”

Her jaw dropped, and she looked around the room, flustered, “Uh…uh…we should probably go,” she said, slipping out of his arms.

He frowned at the loss and rubbed his palms on his dress pants.

She shook her head, “Wow, I guess clothes really do make the person huh?”

“Ani, in your case it’s the other way around.”

Looking up at him she blinked, a look of stunned confusion on her features.

Ravi walked over to her, taking her hand in his, “Let’s go ok?”

Nodding, she followed him to the door and they made their way out.

~~~

She pulled into the parking lot and turned the car off, staring ahead in apprehension. She was feeling off-kilter, this was the first time in her four years since living in Korea. People had asked if she was dating and all and of course she’d always said no. She knew people tended to talk, always gossiping and mentioning that she went to all company functions alone, and when she would go out with the limited friends she did have, there was always talk as to why she never had a man with her.

Eventually, everyone stopped asking because it was just expected that she had no one, now she was going to show up with Ravi, she didn’t know what the reaction would be. Generally, she didn’t care, but this went beyond simply ignoring.

Sighing, she rubbed at her forehead, before turning to the door, only to find it open and a hand held out to her. Looking up, she saw Ravi waiting patiently for her to take it.

“When did…I didn’t even hear you get out,” she blinked.

Ravi chuckled, “You were so deep in thought, I figured I’d take advantage of the moment.”

“Oh…sorry I just…” she shook her head before slipping her hand into his and stepped out, shutting the door and locking it.

Giving him a small smile, they started towards the entrance, giving her name to the host before walking over, the door was suddenly held open and Ravi gestured for her to go in ahead of him. He came up behind her and she motioned for him to hang his coat up before she came up next to him, slipped out of her coat, and went to hang it up, when Ravi took it and did it for her.

“Thanks,” she smiled.

Ravi turned to her, “Ready?”

She looked over at the main ballroom and sighed, “Yeah, I guess so.”

They started towards the entrance, she caught a few people looking at them, men and women alike and her apprehension grew even more, she’d never felt so uncomfortable at a work function before. She was used to just blending in, not sticking out, this was way more than anticipated. She lifted the hem of her gown, preparing to start down the stairs, when an arm was offered.

“Here, hold onto me so you don’t trip,” Ravi said suddenly.

Looking over at him for a moment, she then looked down and slid her hand into the crook of his arm and his hand covered hers as they slowly made their way down the steps. Looking ahead, her eyes widened as several pairs of eyes followed them down and she started to hesitate.

“Relax aein, just keep moving, it is alright. They are all amazed by how beautiful you look,” He said suddenly, turning his head to look at her, giving her a quick wink.

She blinked, chuckling softly, “I don’t know about all that.”

“I do,” Ravi stated as they made their way to the bottom of the stairs.

They located an empty table and headed over, Ravi held out a seat to her and she sat carefully, and he sat next to her, sliding his chair right up beside her.

“Don’t worry, we won’t stay long, just enough so that all the supervisors and all have seen me and then we can leave. I know this has to be boring, being in unfamiliar surroundings, not knowing anyone.”

“I know you and that’s all that matters, I can be anywhere and so long as you’re there, I will be happy,” Ravi said softly, his deep voice washing over her.

She didn’t know why, but tears sprang to her eyes. She’d never had anyone wanting her with them like that, it felt foreign.

“Would you like a drink?” He asked suddenly.

“Oh sure, I’ll go get us…”

“Ani, I will, you stay here. I’ll be right back,” he announced, standing and deftly moving away.

She shook her head, trying to clear it just as someone sat down across from her, she recognized her as one of the women who worked in her department with her and who was in constant competition with her.

For some reason, the woman continued to look down on her, had since she arrived. They’d worked at the company for the same amount of time, but she’d been far more successful than the woman sitting across from her. The woman never failed to take the opportunity to put her down or make cracks about her, even though her success rating was higher, there was so much animosity from her it was unbelievable. Typically, the woman ignored her most of the time which also hurt despite the fact that she treated her so poorly.

She’d wanted to be friends with the woman, especially since they worked in the same department, but she wouldn’t allow for it, giving her dirty looks when she could.

“So lookie who we have here, alone again as always huh?” The woman grinned.

“Uhh actually I have…”

“Just so you know, when we get back to the office on Monday, I have three more cases I’m finishing up, it should put me in the lead for ratings, prepare yourself. You’re not going to be on top anymore, no one else will be kissing your ass,” the woman smirked.

“No one kisses my ass now…”

“Oh please, I see how you flounce around the office, you’re nothing you know? Just because you have a few successful cases, doesn’t mean you’re better than any of us, especially me. What the hell do you know about being here and how to help our people? About being Korean? Nothing, absolutely nothing, you’re a foreigner, you know nothing,” she spat.

Swallowing hard, she looked down.

“Here you are…oh, hello.”

She tensed as Ravi sat back down, setting a drink in front of her, his gaze on the woman who was staring at him in curiosity and lust. She leaned in close, giving him a sultry look and Ravi narrowed his eyes, moving back in his seat, further away from her.

“And who might you be?”

“I am Ravi,” he stated.

The woman looked between the two, her eyes finally resting on her, “Who is this man?”

She stilled, she hadn’t even thought of how to introduce him, and had no idea what to say. She couldn’t call him her boyfriend, that’d be weird, out of thin air for her to suddenly have one. How would she explain it after he left?

“He’s uh…uh…”

“I am a family friend,” Ravi said suddenly.

She felt the air around her grow thin and she struggled to breathe, a family friend? That wasn’t possible, it…

“Oh? Is that so? Is this what you’re doing now to try to cover for the fact that you don’t belong here?” The woman smirked, looking over at her, raising an eyebrow. “I’ve never heard you speak of your family before, I don’t see how that’s possible since you’re not from here and Ravi is obviously Korean, you’re from the States, how would you have a family friend here? Is that what she told you to say so she wouldn’t seem as pathetic as she already is?”

Ravi’s eyes widened, and she wished desperately that she hadn’t come. All the other times the woman ignored her at company functions, why now? Why this time did she have to start something?

“Look, stop this please, there’s no need to…”

“Don’t you tell me to stop, I can do whatever I please, I have more right than you do…”

She clenched her fist in embarrassment and she felt something warm cover it and looked over to see Ravi’s large hand covering hers.

“Do you have some sort of problem with my aein?” He asked suddenly.

“Your aein?” She snorted, rolling her eyes. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I don’t like to be lied to and I don’t like to have someone who clearly doesn’t belong here, try to act like she’s better than me and I don’t like her using our people for her gain. Family friend my ass, who are you and why are you with her?” The woman said coldly.

She was rendered speechless, in all her years, she’d never experienced such rudeness. She wasn’t worried about herself as much as she was for Ravi. She went to pull her hand away and stand, when his grip on hers tightened, not allowing for her to move. She looked over at him again to find him watching the woman closely.

“I am her friend, why can’t we be connected by family? More importantly, who are you to judge and say what’s right and not? As far as her helping our people, I’d rather have her than you who seems to have forgotten what it means to help someone. There is no limit and restrictions on caring for someone,” Ravi stated.

The woman narrowed her eyes, her anger rising, “Don’t defend her, she knows nothing and if she were smart, she’d go back to the States where she belongs,” she grated out, looking over at her. “She’s nothing but a fake.”

Her face lost all color and she swallowed hard at the pure venom coming from the woman and she looked down again, fighting back tears.

Ravi stared at the woman, “It is not her that is a fake,” he said before lifting his gaze up and looking behind her for a moment, a small smile forming on his lips, “I think you should probably leave.”

“What right do you have to tell me to leave?” The woman chuckled.

“He doesn’t, but I do.”

She looked up and the woman turned, her eyes widening.

“I think you’re done here for tonight, this party is only for employees and their dates. I’ll see you in my office Monday morning to draw up your termination papers, you are not the kind of person we want working at this company,” the man said, bowing at her and Ravi before turning and walking off.

The woman stumbled up out of her chair, looking over at the two before hurrying off after the man.

“Serves her right, she was…” Ravi stopped when he looked at her, his face tensed in concern. “Aein?”

She trembled in fear and sadness. She was right, the woman was absolutely right, she was a fake and she knew nothing about life other than loneliness and sadness. How could she ever think she was qualified to help anyone out? She really didn’t know anything about…

“Aein…”

A pair of warm hands turned her head until her gaze met his and he frowned.

“Do not listen to her, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She doesn’t know anything about you, who is she to say that I’m not a friend of your family?”

She winced and lowered her gaze, tears welling up and flowing down her face, spilling over Ravi’s fingers. The woman may not know anything about her, but what's worse she didn’t know who she was either.

“Ohh aein,” came Ravi’s low voice, filled with sadness.

She was trying desperately not to lose it in public, but her heart felt so heavy, so bruised that the tears kept coming.

“Come aein, come, let’s dance,” Ravi said suddenly, dropping his hands from her face and reaching out to take her hand in his.

Shaking her head, she kept her gaze from his, so he couldn’t see the tears anymore.

“Come…” he said again and gently pulled her up and led her out to the dance floor.

He pulled her to the edge of the dance floor and then wrapped one arm around her waist and took her one hand in his, pulling her close to his body.

“Do not focus on anyone or anything other than me ok?” He whispered in her ear.

She tensed a bit, bringing her hand up to his shoulder to push him away, when he pressed her even closer to his body until his warmth surrounded her like a comforting blanket, his sent swirling around her.

“Ani, just let me hold you aein, let me help you to relax,” he said softly, sliding his hand up and gently pressing her head down to his shoulder.

With her hand securely in his, they started to move, and the tears continued to stream down her cheeks, landing on his white suit coat. She felt absolutely miserable, she didn’t want to feel sorry for herself, but the woman’s words kept ringing in her ears, it was all she could think about. She pushed her face into his neck, squeezing her eyes shut and she felt Ravi’s arm around her tighten.

“I understand that her words, while rude and untrue, have hit a nerve with you for some reason. I do not know what that reason is, but I am sorry for what she said. I know how important your job is to you and how you want to help, regardless of where someone is from, I am happy that you chose to help here and that I have a chance to know you. Do not doubt your knowledge aein, you are very good at what you do and that is why she is so threatened. The people you’ve all helped, I know feel the same way too, and even though I haven’t met them, I’m sure they’re thankful,” Ravi said softly, leaning in suddenly, running his lips along her neck.

She bit her lip, this was hardly time for anything sexual and she was going to pull away when his lips brushed her tattoo and suddenly the tension in her body started to relax. He did it again and she let out a breath, her body falling into his as a rush of peace washed over her. His hand on her back started to move up and down soothingly.

“That’s it, just relax,” he whispered as they continued to move around the dance floor as he held her securely.

Several Hours Later

They made their way back inside and she pulled her heels off, setting them aside and starting to pull her coat off, when Ravi beat her to it, slipping it off her arms and taking it and hanging it up.

“Thanks,” she said softly.

Walking, she made her way into the living room, hesitating a moment before turning and looking at Ravi, giving him a small smile. The rest of the evening had been somber, she hadn’t felt much like having fun after everything that had happened, and Ravi seemed to sense it. He didn’t say much, but often held her hand, staying close by her side protectively. The woman they didn’t see again, but she dreaded the thought of seeing her on Monday, she was doubtful she'd actually be fired.

What she really wanted was to go to bed and try to relax. The calm feeling she’d felt when they had danced, lasted only so long as she was in his arms, once they stopped, the anxiety had come back. It wasn’t as if she could tell him to hold her the whole time while she got over someone hurting her feelings. She hadn’t had that luxury before when someone had said something mean to her, she was a grown woman, she’d make due.

“Thanks again for coming with me Ravi, I really appreciate it. I know it was boring and all, so thank you for enduring it for me,” she said softly.

Ravi said nothing, just continued to watch her. She gave him a small bow before turning and heading down the hallway to her room. Once inside, she stopped at the foot of her bed, sighing heavily. After a couple of seconds, she reached behind her, grabbing at the zipper of her gown, and starting to push it down, when hands intercepted, gently pushing hers away. She stilled when she felt arms slide around her waist, pulling her back against a warm body.

“Wait a moment aein, ok?”

She let out a breath, she wasn’t in the mood right now, she just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep. She felt herself being turned and she was looking into Ravi’s eyes, but not before noticing he’d changed into his silk pajamas, his gaze gentle and she shook her head.

“Look Ravi…”

“Shhh, you don’t need to speak.”

She frowned and then sighed heavily and opened her mouth to speak and was silenced by his lips on hers, his arms sliding around her waist, pulling her against his body again and instantly she felt the tension draining from her muscles. Ravi slowly broke the kiss and ran his lips lightly down her neck to the tattoo again, brushing it with his lips and a long sigh escaped her lips as she fell against him limply.

She was barely aware of his hand coming up and then slowly back down as he moved the zipper.

“You looked absolutely stunning tonight, if the situation were different, I’d have asked you to stay in this dress just a little longer, so I could enjoy it the right way,” he whispered in her ear.

She swallowed hard and lifted her head to look at him in question.

“My lips on your throat, down to your chest…the bodice down, my mouth on your breast, my hand under your skirt…just thinking about it makes me hard,” he sighed.

Her breath caught, and she found herself imagining it, longing for it so desperately she had to close her eyes, too embarrassed to look at him.

“Are you thinking about it aein?” He asked huskily, his eyes swirling black.

Before she could stop herself, she nodded.

“I can make it happen if you want if you’d let me,” he whispered.

She licked at her dry lips and forced herself to think through what he was asking, what he was offering. She was vulnerable right now, emotional and just a minute ago she’d wanted to sleep. All that said, she was also in desperate need of a distraction, a distraction that she wouldn’t typically have in a situation like this when she would normally be all alone.

Of course, she could turn him down, probably should, but did she really want to? If she was honest with herself, she’d have to say no, she really did want the connection. She wanted to be totally, blissfully disconnected from the words still spinning around in her head.

She hadn’t experienced what it would be like, there was that first night, but he’d only kissed her as promised, she was curious as to what actual physical contact would be like, since there really hadn’t been much, not of the real intimate sense. The idea of being with him, of having some kind of contact other than casual was insanely appealing to her, she wanted to be wanted, to be desired and it was slowly reaching the point where she didn’t care if it was forced and not totally genuine, she just wanted that connection with someone, that connection she so sorely needed.

Still, it didn’t seem right to use him in that way, the way that she was supposed to. It just seemed so wrong, it was wrong to use someone for her own gain, that had never been the kind of person she was. Sighing heavily, she was disappointed in herself for talking herself out of something she so obviously needed but was resigned to the fact that it was the right thing to do.

Resting her head on his shoulder, she let out a breath and shook her head, “Th-that’s ok Ravi.”

“Is it? If you are holding back because you think it is wrong to take advantage of the situation, then don’t, because it is not. You need the distraction and I’m offering it, I will do whatever it takes for you to be happy, for you to relax. I hate to see you so upset, I can help with that, I will help with it. This is what I am here for aein, it is my purpose. Do not feel bad for that, I want it as much as you do,” he said softly.

She remembered him telling her he needed it, it kept him going and they hadn’t done anything since that first night. Guilt rushed in, she was probably causing him unnecessary pain by holding off, the poor man. First, she subjects him to the crazies at her job and now she’s causing him physical discomfort, she couldn’t seem to do anything right lately, she really was an awf…

“Yah…” Ravi said quietly, gently pushing her back and lifting her head, forcing her to look at him, “Stop thinking so much about this, do not be so concerned for me, I know that you are, I can sense it, please do not be. I am here to serve you, you happy will make me happy.”

She swallowed hard, her eyes widening as he leaned in, brushing his lips against hers lightly.

“Aein…”

Slowly she closed her eyes, “Yes…” She whispered.

The press of his lips was immediate and encompassing and the next thing she knew, she felt herself being led back towards the bed and then before she could stop him, she fell back, him coming down on top of her. She tensed suddenly as she realized what was going to happen, it’d been a while since she’d been with a man and she was suddenly awash with nerves.

While she wasn’t sure if anything more was going to happen, if he was going to do what he said, it was still enough to set her on edge. She was by no means physically appealing, she wasn’t thin, she was curvy, she wasn’t a model, just an average woman. Normally she never really minded much because the few men that she’d been with hadn’t really cared, but none of them were him.

Ravi pulled away, looking down at her and she held her breath, staring at him. It was too late to back out now, she’d already told him to go ahead and she didn’t want to be a tease. He leaned in, slowly resting his full weight on her, a hint of a smile on his lips.

“You’re so tense, you should really relax. You won’t be able to enjoy this if you’re so worried, you have enough on your mind without needing to worry about how you look.”

Her eyes widened, “H-how…”

“Shhh, just relax and look at me.”

“I don’t…”

“Shhhh,” he said again, pressing a finger gently to her lips.

She swallowed hard, looking into his eyes, unable to look away.

“Don’t think of anything other than me, look only at me, think only of what I’m going to do to you,” he whispered, his deep voice pouring over her.

She could feel her body starting to relax as she continued to watch him. She became highly aware of his weight on hers, of every inch of his body on top of hers, even through the layers of fabric of her gown.

“Close your eyes,” Ravi whispered.

She hesitated, finding that she wanted to keep looking at him, finding some sense of comfort and security in those dark eyes.

“Close your eyes aein,” he said again softly.

She found her eyes closing somehow against her will, causing her other senses to be heightened. She waited in anticipation, but there was nothing for several long minutes and she started to fear that he’d changed his mind. She was ready to open her eyes, when she felt something soft on her chest, warmth, a feather-light touch.

With her eyes closed and no longer focusing on him, that fear came creeping back. It really was absurd for her to be so worried, but she just couldn’t help it. She had the mind to call the whole thing off, tease or not, and just crawl under the covers, there was no way she could enjoy this now.

Shifting a bit, she clutched at the blanket beneath her and started to open her eyes, when she felt a hand on her forehead, causing her to still. Suddenly, it was as if she had no thoughts in her head, everything was erased as she could only seem to focus on that hand, the feel of warm skin on hers. Once again, her body went limp and she let out a sigh as no worries plagued her any longer, just anticipation of what was to come.

“It’ll be so much nicer when you relax aein,” came his deep voice.

His hand slid from her forehead to her cheek and then further down her neck, brushing over the tattoo and she let out a shaky sigh. It continued to move down to the bodice of the dress before sliding around along with his other hand and tugging it down. His hand came back up and expertly unhooked her bra and easily pushed it down as well. She felt the cool air hit her now bare skin and she shivered, starting to bring her hands up to cover herself. Suddenly, her hands were held down at her sides and she felt him move and then his lips were on her bare breast.

Her eyes flew open and she looked down to find him brushing his lips over the sensitive skin. His lips trailed down and she swallowed hard and he lifted his eyes suddenly, his gaze connecting with hers and she saw the black swirling around in his eyes.

She went to say something, not sure of what, when his lips closed around her nipple, his eyes never leaving hers and she let out a soft whimper, letting her head fall back to the bed. She tried to focus on the ceiling and tried to think of all the work she had to do on Monday but to no avail.

His tongue came out and lapped at the hardened flesh and she squeezed her eyes shut, panting heavily. It felt amazing, it’d been too long since she enjoyed such pleasures. She felt his hand slide down her side and then through the mounds of fabric, clenching it and slowly pulling it upwards. She brought her hands up, shoving her fingers through her hair, her heart was pounding in anticipation.

Ravi moved from one breast to the other, opening his mouth wider, pulling her whole nipple into his mouth, sucking deeply. She grabbed at the blanket beneath her, fisting it in her hands. Her whole body tensed when she felt his hand at her core, his fingers trailing up and down over her underwear, her eyes flying open. Suddenly his lips were by her ear, his warmth surrounding her, and her heart started racing.

“Relax and let me pleasure you, let me make you happy, let me make you scream…”

She shook her head, she was always so reserved, she wouldn’t…

“Mmm,” Ravi whispered, leaning in, brushing his lips over her cheek as his hand slid up and into the band of her underwear, somehow managing to pull them down, leaving her exposed to him, even though he couldn’t see her.

Any remaining thoughts she may have had, dissolved when his hand swooped back up and covered her, rubbing gently. She inhaled sharply, squeezing her eyes shut, and shaking her head.

“Ani? Wae? Why don’t you want to scream? Why don’t you want me to hear you?” Ravi questioned, as he drug two fingers between her folds teasingly.

She panted softly, licking at her dry lips, whimpering softly.

“You can do better than that aein…” He murmured.

Again, she shook her head, “I-I can’t…” She panted.

Ravi lifted his head and she slowly opened her eyes after feeling his gaze on hers.

“Can’t…or won’t?” He questioned silkily as he suddenly slid both fingers inside her heat.

Her eyes widened, and her body arched tightly as she wrapped harshly around his fingers. She felt his arm wrap around her and pull her up, so she was sitting suddenly. Her hips moved, greedily pulling his fingers in deeper and his eyes went almost pitch black, his tongue came, sliding over his lips slowly.

“Ahh Aein…” He sighed.

“R-Ravi…”

“You’re so soft…wet…”

She shifted, her hips starting rocking on their own.

“Take what you need,” he panted, leaning in, running his tongue over her lips lightly as he started to move his fingers in time with her movements.

Closing her eyes again, she braced her feet on the bed and moved her hips steadily against his hand. It was too much and not enough at the same time she realized, as she started to move her hips harder and faster.

“You want more…need it, you need me,” he breathed in her ear, his voice going deeper.

She shook her head, bringing her hand up, and shoving it through her hair. She felt more than heard the low rumble of laughter in her ear as he started to move his hand harder and faster, pumping in and out of her wetness, the sound echoing through the room.

“Don’t try to fight it aein, eventually it will happen, you will have me where you want me, over you, rubbing against you, moving harder…” he pumped his hand impossibly harder. “Faster…” His hand moved faster still, “It won’t be my hand, but my…”

Stifling a moan as his words became more than she could bare, her body jerked as the orgasm hit and she tightened harshly around his fingers, her other hand coming up into her hair as well as she fell back to the bed, pressing her head back into the pillow. That sensation she hadn’t felt in forever, came rushing over her as years of pent-up stress and tension were finally released. She felt her body flood and pour over his fingers.

“So wet…” he murmured, coming down over her and leaning in, brushing his lips over her tattoo. “You’re not done, I can feel it…again…”

Ravi slid his fingers out, dragging them leisurely through her folds and up to her hypersensitive clit, and started rubbing it gently at first.

“I want it to be my mouth, I want to taste you so badly,” he moaned, letting his tongue slide slowly over the tattoo.

“Ra-Rav…” she breathed.

“I can imagine how you taste, so sweet.”

“N-no…”

“Mmm…yes aein…”

She shook her head, biting her lip hard when he started to rub harder, moaning softly.

“Let me hear you…louder.”

“No,” she panted, “No…”

He rubbed harder and still worked up from her last orgasm, she came again, harder his time, pulling roughly at her hair. She felt a hand pull hers from her hair, pinning them above her head.

She lowered her head and looked right into Ravi’s eyes, his eyes swirling an obsidian black.

“One more time,” he said hypnotically.

Her eyes widened when his fingers slid back down again and back inside her heat.

“I-I c-can’t…”

Ravi raised an eyebrow.

“N-no,” she wheezed.

A slow smirk formed on his lips and he leaned in, his lips barely brushing hers, “yes,” he whispered and then turned his hand, his fingers hitting her g-spot suddenly and she saw stars.

Her eyes glazed over as they brushed once, twice, and then finally a third time and she gasped loudly, squeezing her eyes tightly shut again and tears of release streamed down her cheeks as her body convulsed violently and Ravi pressed down with his body, holding her still and his lips found hers in a passionate and intense kiss.

She managed to free her hands from his grip and they immediately went into his hair, tugging as wave after wave crashed over her. Her hips continued to buck against his hand over and over as she struggled, reaching out for something that wasn’t there.

Ravi tore his lips from hers, breathing hard, “I know aein…I know, soon, soon it will be better, so much better. I want it too,” he said knowingly.

She barely registered his words, the words that he wanted it too. He brushed the area again and her body clenched one last time harshly and she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him hard against her body letting out a barely contained groan before her body went limp, releasing his fingers suddenly. Her arms around his body remained tight though, holding onto him as if he were her lifeline, saving her from losing herself in the sensations, needing to feel him against her, needing that security.

Ravi shifted a bit, pulling away from her and she reluctantly loosened her grip on him, bringing a hand up to rub at her eyes, still breathing hard.

“Wow…” she breathed.

“I promise to do better next time.”

She lowered her hand to look sleepily at him, “Huh?”

“I can do better, I will do better,” he said firmly, his eyes no longer black, but back to their natural brown as they stared into hers, intently, searchingly.

She shook her head, not fully comprehending, she was too sleepy, too drained to make sense of what he was saying.

“Time for you to sleep aein,” he said softly.

“Mmm, have to…get undressed,” she yawned.

“Sleep,” Ravi said again, looking deep into her eyes.

Her eyes would stay open not a second more, they closed heavily, and she drifted off.

~~~

He watched her, worry on his face. That had proven to be very enlightening, enlightening, and worrying. Something was very wrong, something was troubling her, her body showed him that. The way she had held on to his fingers and then at the end, she’d held him so tight, as if afraid he’d leave, it was a grip of absolute desperation and longing and it scared him.

It went beyond the physical, and while he’d enjoyed that, he also felt a bit at a loss. Everything that had happened tonight, all of it had been very telling. She was way too affected by that woman and what she’d said. There was something there on a deeper and personal level that he didn’t know. Since they’d become more intimate than that first time by the couch and her inviting him into her bed, their connection heightened even more so now that actual contact had been made.

His sense of her had been enhanced the moment his fingers entered her body, he was even more attuned to her moods, to her needs. The fact that she wasn’t very vocal during the foreplay just now, not that he was such a narcissist that women always screamed and whatever when he was intimate, but it screamed that there was a containment to her, a guard up that she had, something that kept her at a distance, even though he’d been anything but far from her at the time. It was subtle, but if they hadn’t been in the middle of what they’d been, he wouldn’t have been able to pick up on it.

Ravi wasn’t the most open person himself, not typically. Since becoming a love slave though, he’d been forced to be more outgoing, more assertive when it came to women and sexual contact. All that said, he knew what it was to be so reserved, and for it to be part of your normal personality and such wasn’t the case with this jeongbu. No, there was something else, something that kept her from opening up, at least typically. During she’d been open, her body receptive as if crying out for the contact in a way he’d never encountered before. He knew this wasn’t her first experience, but it may as well have been.

He couldn’t get past the nagging worry he felt though, something was off. She held him too tight, too long for it to just be the heat of the moment. She was a woman in need of the comfort of some kind, of affection he wasn’t sure he could handle. It was his job as a love slave to do what his jeongbu needed, and typically it’d always been of a sexual nature, and with that, he could just fake it, could zone out. With this jeongbu though, he was afraid it went beyond that, she needed more from him.

It was what he’d wanted, he wanted to be needed and this was his moment, but could he truly do it? It meant him having to open up in a way he hadn’t these last several years, it meant letting someone inside him so that he could make her comfortable enough so that when the time came, they could actually be one so that he could leave.

Pulling away, he quickly stripped her of her gown, hanging it up, before grabbing her pajamas and dressing her and then covering her up carefully before laying back down beside her. He just had to put it into perspective. She, like all the others, was just another step away from his freedom, if he could just get her to be more intimate with him then…

Ravi brought a hand up and rubbed at his face, angry at himself for putting it so callously. It seemed wrong to just lump whatever she was going through with all his prior jeongbu’s, when it was so much more. He was trying to treat her the way he’d been treated, as an object, a means to an end. If it’d been any other jeongbu, he’d be able to without a second thought, but she wasn’t like the others.

And that was the difference.

Chapter Text

Two Months Later

She said her goodbyes and headed out of the building to her car. It’d been a long day and she was glad to be going home. It’d been one of her co-workers' last day before going on maternity leave and so a party had been thrown. She’d been picking at food for most of the day, but she did manage to bring home some of the dishes she didn’t have a chance to try. She’d gotten looks the first time she’d taken leftovers home as it wasn’t common in Korean for people to have to-go boxes or anything, but after a while, people had gotten used to it, some had even started doing so themselves. She’d made sure she got enough to share with Ravi, a smile coming to her lips at thoughts of him.

Since the night of the party, things with them had changed, for the better. He’d become even more attentive, they got closer and closer. She’d kept her promise, having a night out together at least once a week, doing various things. She’d gotten so used to him being there, she almost forgot his actual purpose. Nothing else overly sexual had happened though and while she was grateful, on some level she was also kind of disappointed. She’d promised herself before that she wouldn’t instigate, but there were moments…

It’d be a lie if she said she hadn’t enjoyed herself immensely that night, it’d been exactly what she needed, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept so well either, she’d been thoroughly exhausted and had woken up feeling rested and relaxed. Amazingly, he’d gone on as if nothing had happened, she knew it was an everyday thing for him, but for her, it wasn’t. She wanted more but found herself too afraid to ask.

Still, she wondered what he’d meant when he’d said that he’d do better, as if he’d failed in some way, she wanted to ask him but didn’t know how. She didn’t think he’d failed at all, it’d been amazing, he was amazing. She hadn’t felt that way in so long, she’d never felt that way ever. Her past sexual encounters had been awkward and rushed. None of the guys she’d ever been with had been so skilled when it came to getting a reaction out of her, in getting her body to respond the way it had, she didn’t think it was possible.

Ravi had become very comfortable with her, she liked having a man around her apartment, another presence. It felt good to have someone to share her space with and he was easy to live with. He was always there waiting for her when she got home from work, they’d talk about their days and how her cases were going. He always seemed to be interested, she hoped it was genuine, it seemed like it was real interest on his part. They took turns making dinner and tonight was her turn, she figured she’d heat up the food she’d brought from work and use it along with what she had planned and while they were eating, they could discuss where’d they go this week. She like to think of them as date nights, though she would never say that to him in case he didn’t feel the same. It wasn’t as if they were a couple, they really weren’t dating, they were just a mistress and her love slave.

Groaning, she pulled into the parking lot and turned the car off, sitting there for a moment. This was always the hard part, getting ready to walk into that apartment and see him and not treat this whole thing as if they were in a relationship. She always felt the need to go to him, give him a hug and kiss, to act as if he were her boyfriend and they were living together. Each day the struggle got harder and harder because despite all her attempts to prevent it, she found herself growing more and more attached to him and that worried her.

Sighing, she gathered the bags with the food up and made her way out of the car and into the complex, heading in and over to the door, entering the code, and heading in.

“Annyeong aein.”

She looked up to see Ravi waiting for her, a smile on his lips and she smiled a bit, “Hey Ravi.”

She kicked her shoes off and put her coat away before making her way into the room.

“I missed you.”

Stopping, she stared at him in shock.

Ravi rubbed at the back of his neck and chuckled a bit, “I am lonely without you aein, I’m happy when you come home.”

She gave him a warm smile, trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach, “Well, I miss you too Ravi. It’s nice to have someone waiting for me when I come home.”

He smiled broadly, reaching out to take the bags from her hands, “Go on and get undressed.”

Chuckling she nodded, as was their typical routine by now. She headed into her bedroom, starting to take her jewelry off.

“What is this aein?” Ravi called from the kitchen.

“We had that party at work today.”

“Ahh ne, for your co-worker who is pregnant.”

“That’s right, there were leftovers, so I brought them to go with what I have planned for tonight,” she announced before shutting the door to change.

Part of her wanted to leave the door open, she trusted that Ravi wouldn’t come barging in and even if he did come to the room, she knew he wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want. She wasn’t sure though that she wouldn’t if she were honest with herself. After changing into sweatpants and a t-shirt, she made her way back out and into the kitchen.

Ravi had set all the containers out on the table and was sitting, waiting for her. Smiling at him as she went by, she started getting pots and pans out.

“I wish you would let me help,” Ravi frowned.

“You know we agreed to let each other do it on their own when it’s their turn,” she grinned.

“Yeah but, that was before I knew how anxious it would make me to watch you do it alone, I’d much rather be there to help you.”

“You talking to me helps, help me to unwind. Tell me about your day,” she announced.

They spoke as always while the dinner was prepared, she took the leftover food and put it into separate bowls, and started to set the table. Ravi intercepted, putting out the chopsticks and plates and such as the food finished. She didn’t argue with him on that, it technically didn’t count as preparing the food and it was helpful that she didn’t also have to worry about setting the table as well.

A short time later, they sat to eat.

“What’s that?” Ravi asked, pointing to the bowl with what looked like green pasta.

“Pasta pesto, I’ve never had it before, but I’ve always wanted to try it,” she explained.

He nodded, “Ahh ok, I’ve heard of it.”

They chatted for a bit, deciding on their activity for the week, and choosing to go bowling, something that Ravi said he missed doing. They ate quietly for a while before she worked up the nerve to ask him what she’d wondered from the moment he’d arrived.

“Ravi…how did…well how did you…”

“Become a love slave?” He finished for her.

She nodded, “You don’t have to answer if you can’t.”

“Ani, it’s not a problem.”

Twenty minutes later, he finished as she slurped some of the pasta pesto into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

“Whoa, that’s crazy. So, some woman was upset cause your friend rejected her and made you all suffer? Equal opportunity torture huh?” She frowned.

“Basically,” Ravi nodded, eating some kimchi.

She shook her head, it seemed grossly unfair, to all of his friends, especially the guy, Hongbin.

“Have you seen any of your friends since?” She asked, eating some more of the pasta.

He shook his head, “Ani, it’s been a long time.”

“I bet you miss them.”

Ravi nodded, “Ne, they are like brothers to me, been through a lot.”

“You have no biological brothers?”

“No, I have one younger sister.”

Her expression softened, “You have a sister?”

Ravi smiled, “Ne, she can be a pain, but I miss and love her a lot.”

“Did you take care of her? Babysit her and all that?”

“Ne, when I could. I wasn’t home very often, pretty busy. When I was younger I did a bit, but as I got older, I hung out more with my friends and she did her own thing. Still, that didn’t stop me from taking care of her when I needed, especially with her boyfriends she tried to bring around,” Ravi frowned.

She chuckled, “That was tough I bet. You can’t blame her for wanting relationships.”

“Yes, but not with guys, she’s not old enough,” Ravi mumbled, shoving some kimchi in his mouth.

She smiled gently, “I bet you are a great big brother.”

Ravi looked up at her, “Do you have any brothers?”

She stared at him, giving him a sad smile, looking down at her plate, “Are you done?”

Grabbing the empty bowls, she started towards the kitchen and she could feel Ravi’s eyes on her at the unanswered question. It would be easy to just tell him she didn’t know, but she didn’t want to see the inevitable pity in his eyes, she didn’t want that from him.

Ravi came up behind her, bringing his empty plate along with some of the other bowls.

“I can do…”

“Nope, I’ve got the dishes, no problem.”

“But you worked all day aein, let me…”

“No way, I’m fine. You go ahead and relax.”

She heard him sigh softly and then move away and she stared down into the sink, she heard the bathroom door close and she knew he was taking his nightly shower. She felt bad, she should’ve just answered, wished she had now but…

Shaking her head, she fought a wave of dizziness suddenly, the room spinning. She rubbed at her eyes and reached out to turn the faucet on, another wave of dizziness taking her. She let out a shaky breath, her body starting to shake a bit. A feeling of discomfort started to wash over her as she rubbed at her arms, she was so itchy suddenly.

She scratched at her arms violently, the itching was unbearable, she looked down to see red welts coming up on her arms and her heart started pounding violently. She tried to swallow, but it felt like her throat was swollen. Stepping back from the sink, she swayed on her feet, dizziness taking her again and she reached out, trying to grab at the sink, but lost her balance as she fell to the floor, gasping for air, trying to catch her breath.

Chills swept over her body and she continued to scratch at her arms and then at her legs, scratching so hard she drew blood. She gasped, trying to draw in air, it felt like she was suffocating, and fear overtook her.

“Ra…Ra-vi…Ra…” she panted.

Trying to crawl across the floor, closer to the bathroom where he was, reaching out desperately. Her vision started to go blurry and the sudden urge to get sick flooded over her, as she heaved a bit, coughing so hard that it caused her to vomit as she gasped for air.

“Won-sik…Won…” she wheezed, her eyes welling up. “P-lease…”

She heard a door slam open from far away as something blurry headed towards her and everything went black.

~~~

Ravi sighed heavily, starting to undress to take his shower. He wished he knew what was going on with her. They were having a nice conversation and then she just closed up on him, it always happened when he asked about her past or about her family. What was it he wondered, maybe she was really private and just didn’t want to talk about them, though he didn’t get that feeling of her being private, more along the lines of sadness or…

He stilled, something was wrong, he could feel it. Dizziness rushed over him suddenly and he blinked, looking around, disoriented. His heart started pounding, he felt awful, what was happening? He heard a loud thud and his heart dropped.

His aein…

Foregoing his shirt, he tore the bathroom door open, it slammed against the wall and he rushed out to see her on the floor, reaching out towards him. His eyes widened when he saw her collapse and he bolted towards her, skidding on the floor to a stop in front of her.

“Aein? What’s wrong? Yah…yah wake up.”

He pulled her into his arms, her body was cool, clammy, her skin a sickly pale. Fear unlike anything he’d ever felt before, poured over him.

“Jeongbu, please answer me…”

He gave her a gentle shake, he could see the sweat on her face and he reached up, gently slapping at her cheek, “Jeongbu…wake up, please…” he pleaded, he could feel the tears starting to well up behind his eyes.

Ravi carefully picked her up and hurried her over to the couch, sitting down and grabbing her cell phone from the table. Shakily he dialed 119, all the while, he grabbed a blanket from off the couch and covered her with it, holding her tight to his body just as someone answered.

“119 what is your…”

“Please help! She’s unconscious, hurry, I don’t know what’s wrong…help me…” he said desperately.

~~~

Ravi sat in the waiting room, his face buried in his hands, waiting for any news. He’d been there for an hour already and no one had told him anything. He’d never been so scared before in his life, he didn’t know what was going on, what he did know was his jeongbu was in there without him and he felt like pulling his hair out.

He could feel her pain and discomfort and all he wanted was to take her in his arms and take her hurt away. She was so far from him and he didn’t know what was going on, it was driving him crazy. He never should’ve left her alone, he should have insisted on doing the dishes, he should’ve been there. If something happened to her, he didn’t know what he would do.

What if she was seriously hurt? What if whatever it was, caused irreparable damage to her system?

What if…

“Kim Wonsik ssi?”

He lifted his head to find an older man standing in front of him.

“Are you Kim Wonsik?”

Ravi stood suddenly, bowing, “Ne I am Wonsik, how is she, doctor? What’s wrong? Can I see her please?”

“First, I must know, what is your relationship to the patient?” The doctor asked.

He blinked, this was an emergency and even if it wasn’t if it meant he’d be able to see his jeongbu, he’d do whatever it took, punishment or not.

“I am her fiancé,” he stated, he could feel the band form on his finger.

The doctor stared at him a moment before nodding, “She’s resting right now, it appears that she went into anaphylaxis shock. We’re trying to determine what caused it, did she do anything different today?”

He couldn’t think, his mind was jumbled.

“A-ani, she just had work and came home and then we ate.”

The doctor narrowed his eyes, “Did she eat anything out of the ordinary?”

“I don’t know, I don’t think so…she did have a party and brought some food home that she said she’d never tried before.”

“Oh? What was that?”

“She had some side dishes, some fish cakes, and some pasta.”

“Pasta? What kind?”

“Pesto pasta, it was green and…do you think it was bad?”

“Did you eat some?”

“Ne”

“Then I think we can rule that out since you don’t seem to be having symptoms of any food poisoning or anything…no, I think it was something else related to the pasta perhaps. Has your fiancée ever mentioned having any food allergies…nut allergies maybe?”

Ravi shook his head.

The doctor nodded, “Ok then, we’ll need to do some more tests to see if we can figure it out, though I’m thinking it’s very possible she may have some kind of nut allergy. When she wakes up I will ask her if there’s any history of it in her family. In the meantime, you can go in and see her shortly, the nurses are just finishing up taking her vitals,” he finished.

Ravi bowed again, “Thank you, doctor.”

The doctor bowed and then turned to leave. Ravi swallowed hard and slumped into the chair, he wrung his hands together, unable to relax until he was able to see with his own eyes that she was ok. He hated that he could do nothing but wait, he needed to be with her, the pain he felt now was different.

It was the pain he felt when he was held back from his jeongbu needlessly. Once binding had taken place, and he’d been invited into her bed, whenever his jeonbu was in bed, he had to be with her, if not, he would have physical pain. If she were at home, the pain would be worse. Since she was not, but was still in a bed, the pain was still there, though not as bad.

Ultimately, so long as he was near her, he wouldn’t be in pain. He stood and started pacing, wincing at the pain that increased the further he moved from her room. He moved closer to the hall, the pain easing up a bit.

“Wonsik ssi? You can go in and see her now. If you follow me, I can take you to her room,” the nurse that had just come up announced.

Ravi shook his head, “Ani, no need, I will be able to find her on my own.”

The woman blinked in confusion, bowing at Ravi as he gave her a quick bow before breezing past her.

He hurried down the hall, he could feel her presence getting closer and closer, his pain lessening. He stopped by a door, his heart pounding. Ravi reached out, grabbing the handle, and pushing it open, stepping inside. Instantly the pain and discomfort disappeared, and he made his way in, the door closing behind him.

He went still as he saw her lying on the bed, a breathing tube hooked around her head leading into her nostrils, an iv in her arm. His body shook, he was unable to move, his vision becoming blurry with unshed tears. After taking a few seconds to collect himself, he forced himself to move forward, the closer he got, the more anxiety rushed him.

Once beside her, an anguished moan escaped his lips. Her arms were covered in welts, scratches from where she’d scratched so hard with her nails, she’d drawn blood. She was still pale, though not as bad as before, she looked so frail and weak, his heart broke.

“My aein,” he whispered.

Slowly he looked over his shoulder, making sure the door was closed before turning back to her. Reaching out, he lowered the guardrail on the side of the bed, never hesitating as he climbed up onto the bed next to her, and lay down beside her.

“My poor aein,” he said softly, leaning in to kiss her temple, her skin still cool to the touch.

He looked her over, her face was blotchy with red marks that led down her throat and neck to her chest. Ravi moved in closer, gladly giving some of his body heat to her. Reaching out, he carefully took her left hand in his. He slid his hand down, pressing his thumb on her ring finger for a second before pulling it away, a gold band similar to his, now on it.

Ravi looked up at the beeping machine and at the monitor that measured her heartbeat. It was erratic, her pulse jumpy.

He looked back down at her and leaned in close to her ear, “I will make you feel better aein, ok? Your noye will take care of you,” he whispered.

Biting his lip, he looked over his shoulder one last time to make sure no one was coming, before once again, turning back to her. Typically, love slaves could relax their jeongbu’s with their touch or subconscious suggestion and remove stress and tension. Along with that came the ability to stop inflammation, such as headaches and the like, it proved helpful with massages. He didn’t know if it would work with this, but he was willing to try anything.

He brought one hand up to cup her cheek, holding it there for a few seconds before slowly sliding it away. The red welt started to abruptly fade, he moved his hand to the other cheek, repeating the same action. He did the same on her neck and throat and then down to her chest, all the red splotches fading quickly.

Carefully he lifted the sheet, sliding his hand under to find the hospital gown on her. Managing to work his hand underneath, he repeated the same actions on her stomach and down her legs before fixing the gown. He had to work fast in case someone came in and caught him. Sliding his hand out, he took her left arm, running his hand over it, the scratches healing instantly, leaving only a slight pinking of minor irritation. He did the same for the other arm before pulling the covers up higher, stopping just at her chest.

He looked back up at the monitor, her pulse seemed to have steadied a bit, but her heart rate was still slightly erratic and he could still feel her discomfort. He looked back over at her, she moaned in her sleep, her head jerking gently as she struggled for relief. The tears he’d been holding all this time, finally spilling over. He couldn’t stand to see her in pain, there wasn’t much he could do, he longed to hold her in his arms, but the circumstances didn’t allow for it.

Wiping at his eyes quickly, he slid one arm over the top of the pillow and then reached out, pulling the breathing tube out from her nose and then sliding his hand down over her heart as he moved in even closer to her. Pressing down gently, he leaned in, brushing his lips over her tattoo softly as he sent healing and relaxing energy into her chest and to her heart. Suddenly she drew in a deep cleansing breath before letting out slowly and he could instantly feel her body start to relax. Her movements stilled and the tension on her face dissolved as she finally found comfort at the hand of her love slave.

The monitor beeped a few times and the machine measuring her heart rate slowed to an even and steady pace.

Ravi sat back just a bit, burying his face in her neck, whispering softly in her ear, “I am here aein, just relax…that’s it, just relax and sleep. I am here with you now, you are not alone,” he said softly.

~~~

Slowly her eyes opened, and she looked around at her unfamiliar surroundings, panic taking her. Where was she? What was going on? Looking around frantically, she noticed someone beside her, her eyes widening when she realized that Ravi was next to her, his hand holding hers, his head resting on the bed as he slept peacefully, and any fear she felt dissolved.

She looked around again, her eyes scanning the room and she finally realized she was in a hospital room. Memories of being in the kitchen and being unable to breathe and the need to scratch, being so sick, and then she must’ve passed out because she didn’t remember anything after.

Groaning, she swallowed, her mouth was dry and her throat sore. She shifted a bit, her body was weak, and she felt absolutely exhausted, wiped out. She felt as if she’d been through the wringer, she just wanted to go home and get in her own bed and be rid of all the tubes and cords.

Sighing heavily, she looked once again at the sleeping man beside her, feeling slightly confused. She wasn’t used to having anyone there with her when she had emergencies, not that she had them often, but she’d definitely had some. It’d always just been her, dealing with it all on her own, even in the orphanage and when she was in foster homes. She was always a loner, always alone, never really feeling as if she fit in anywhere. So, it only stood to reason that she was surprised to see the man sitting beside her on the bed, still there after the smoke had cleared. She wasn’t entirely sure of what to do, she’d never been faced with this kind of situation before, she felt bad that he was there instead of back home comfortably, he certainly didn’t need to babysit a grown woman.

Licking at her dry lips, she lifted her other hand, starting to reach towards him, when she saw the indications of faded marks on her arm, must’ve been when she’d scratched herself. It was barely a mark though, it was light pink, looking as if it may scar just a bit. Looking down at her chest as much as she could, she saw no markings or anything there, maybe it hadn’t been that bad?

Closing her eyes and slowly opening them again, fighting off the sleep that wanted to take her, she reached out, her hand coming in contact with his soft hair, running her fingers through it gently. She turned the other hand that was still held gently but firmly in his and gave a gentle squeeze.

“Ravi…” she whispered.

Immediately he moved, his head slowly lifted, and he blinked several times before his eyes swung to hers, fear and anxiety filled them as he instantly woke.

“Aein, you’re awake, how are you? How do you feel? Should I get someone?” He asked, covering her hand with his other as he stood, leaning in close to her.

She was immediately enveloped with that familiar, heavenly scent that was all his and she closed her eyes, breathing it in.

“Mmmm,” she sighed.

“What? What is it aein? Should I get the doctor? Let me get…”

She tightened her grip on his hand when he went to move, stopping him. He looked back at her, worry all over his face and she gave him a gentle smile.

“Wait a minute ok? I just need a moment to gather myself,” she whispered.

Ravi frowned, reaching out and placing a hand on her forehead, his touch was warm and felt wonderful. She closed her eyes again, wishing desperately that he would take her in his arms and just hold her, all she wanted right now was to be held, she felt so raw and exposed, she just wanted to be protected.

Her own weakness annoyed her, if she’d been alone, she’d just have to deal with it, it’s what she’d always done. So why now was she acting, feeling so vulnerable? Every part of her was screaming out to take advantage of the man who was standing before her and to use him for the comfort and support that she’d always wished she had in times like this. Even though he was there now, he wouldn’t always be, and she’d be back to being alone, she couldn’t forget it and couldn’t allow herself to become comfortable.

Ravi moved his hand away, sighing, “No fever but you’re not as cold as you were before, that’s a relief.”

It must’ve been bad, she wished she could remember, she didn’t like having lost time.

“You can go on home, you don’t need to stay. I’m ok now, thank you for being here with me,” she said suddenly.

Ravi blinked, “Go…home?”

“Yeah, I can take care of the rest, you have to be exhausted, you don’t need to wait any longer, really, I’m gonna be ok.”

He stared at her, taking a deep breath in, starting to say something when the door opened.

“Ahh I see you’re awake,” the doctor said, coming over to the bed.

She looked over at the doctor as he reached out, grabbing her chart and looking it over. She struggled, trying to sit up, when strong arms came around, helping to hoist her up. She looked over at Ravi, giving a smile of thanks, but his expression was guarded, and he looked away from her.

“Your vitals and everything seems to be ok now, back at normal levels. It appears that you did in fact have an anaphylaxis shock. There were traces of pine nuts in your blood from the pesto sauce you had for dinner, so you have an allergy to pine nuts. You’ll need to make sure you avoid them in the future and that goes for other seeds as well, sunflower, pumpkin anything like that that may trigger a reaction. I will be writing you a prescription for an Epi pen, make sure you keep it with you at all times just in case. Pine nuts aren’t really nuts but seeds and if you’re allergic to them, you’re more than likely allergic to other seeds but more than likely not allergic to actual nuts. I take it you’ve had other actual nuts in the past with no issues?”

She nodded, feeling overwhelmed by the diagnosis.

“That’s what I figured, you would’ve known that by now, that’s not to say that allergies couldn’t develop later, so just be mindful. Now, I did ask your fiancé if you have any other allergies and he didn’t know. Do you know if nut allergies run in your family?” The doctor asked.

She stilled, looking over at Ravi at the mention of the word fiancé, hesitating a moment before responding, “No…I-I don’t…”

“Have your parents mentioned anyone being allergic or having an intolerance to anything?” He went further.

She gave the doctor a pained look and then glanced at Ravi who looked over at her suddenly and she looked away quickly, lowering her gaze to the bed.

“No…I’m an orphan, I’ve…I’ve never met my parents. I don’t know anything about my family,” she said quietly.

She could feel Ravi’s eyes on her and she looked back up at the doctor who was writing on her chart.

“I see, well then I will run a series of tests to see if we can find out anything else. Once we get the blood samples, you’ll be free to leave. I’m not exactly sure what the protocol is in the States, but you may want to consider seeing if you may be able to find out some family history so that you can know. Food and nut allergies are very serious, and I don’t want you to have the same thing happen again,” the doctor said solemnly.

Slowly she nodded, lowering her eyes to the bed again.

“Very well then, I will also write you a note for your job. I would advise you to rest for at least a week before you return, just to make sure you don’t suffer any other side effects.”

Again, she nodded, and the doctor bowed to her and to Ravi before leaving. A heavy silence hung in the air, and she waited for the inevitable questions to start.

“Aein…”

She braced herself, taking a deep breath in.

“You should get ready to go; do you want me to call the nurse to help you to get dressed?’

She looked up at him and he was watching her gently, his gaze roaming over her from top to bottom.

“I do not think it would be wise for me to do so, even if they believe I am your fiancé. Do you have the energy to do so on your own?”

Staring at him a moment longer, she shook her head and he nodded.

“Arrasso, let me get a nurse for you, I’ll be right back,” he said softly, giving her hand that he’d been holding the whole time, a gentle squeeze before quietly slipping out the room.

As soon as he left, she felt his loss immediately, wishing instantly that he’d come back. She let her head drop to her chest, now that he knew, she didn’t know what was going to happen. She worried that he would treat her differently now that he knew she didn’t have family, maybe he wouldn’t want to be around her, maybe he’d find some way out of her contract and he’d leave her alone again. The thoughts of being alone caused fear to well up within her, it was too soon for him to go, she wasn’t ready for the loneliness again.

She looked up as the door opened, only to be disappointed when the nurse and another woman entered the room.

~~~

Ravi sat in the chair next to the room, he could hear them speaking, but couldn’t hear what they were saying. The urge to stay close to her was even stronger now that he knew, it explained a lot. The woman at the party, the lack of family photos at her apartment, her job choice, it all made sense. There were still some things that he wondered about, still had some questions about some of her comments, but he hoped there would be time for him to get answers. His desire to be around her kept growing, and he didn’t know if that was good or not. He still had things to tell her, one major thing that he hadn’t disclosed about him when the time came for him to go. Ravi found himself not wanting to tell her, but more importantly, for the first time, he didn’t want his jeongbu to forget him.

Standing, he made his way down the hall to the reception desk to start the discharge papers.

~~~

The nurse helped her to sit in the wheelchair after she finally got changed and blood drawn by the phlebotomist and not a moment too soon, she felt as if she were going to pass out. She was extremely lethargic and woozy, it took entirely too much energy to stand, she didn’t know how she was going to make it into her apartment and into her bed, the thought of it seemed very daunting.

It must’ve been apparent, because the nurse came to kneel in front of her, asking if she was ok. She nodded, giving her a weak smile, the nurse stood and disappeared for a few minutes, coming back with a cup of water, handing it to her. She sipped gratefully at it and the nurse nodded before going around to push the wheelchair out of the room and down the hall.

She looked around, trying to see Ravi, but couldn’t find him. It was just as well, he was probably tired and went home first, she felt bad for him being there like that. Yawning, she took another sip at the water in her cup, trying desperately to stay awake, but finding it harder and harder. She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them again, she saw she was outside, in front of a taxi. The cup was taken out of her hand and the peddles of the wheelchair were lifted and a strong arm slid around her back, effortlessly lifting her up. That familiar scent swirled around her, and she instantly felt at ease, leaning towards it, warmth surrounded her. Someone said something, but she couldn’t make it out, she just couldn’t seem to focus.

The door to the taxi swung open and she was helped to carefully sit, the door closing. Her head fell back to the seat heavily, she heard another door open and close and once again, there was that scent. The car started moving and vertigo overtook her, and she pitched forward, only to be wrapped in a pair of strong arms and she leaned heavily against the body beside her.

“Hang…there…almost…back…”

Everything seemed so disjointed, she couldn’t understand, she just wanted to sleep, wanted to stop moving, she felt so queasy, she needed to lie down. She whimpered in frustration and then she felt a hand move gently along her back and she took a few deep breaths, the hand moved up her side, trailing upwards, over her chest up to her neck. There were fingers on her skin and then suddenly all her agitation ceased, and she slumped against the person, a shaky sigh escaping her lips.

After what felt like an eternity, the moving stopped, and the door opened. She turned her head, barely able to keep her eyes open as she, with great effort, managed to move one foot out the door and then the other and managed somehow, to stand up. She looked down, the ground looked so inviting, she wanted to stop right where she was and just go right to sleep, she was so tired.

“Ok, just…little…there…”

She nodded, she would agree to whatever if it meant she could just lie down. She went to walk, her body swaying a bit, when she suddenly felt nothing below her, and yet, she was moving. Her head fell to the hard and yet, somehow soft surface below her, and she was again, surrounded by heat, only this time, her whole body was engulfed in it, and her eyes slowly started to close. There was a beeping sound and she just barely recognized her bed as it came up to meet her before she finally drifted off into blessed sleep.

~~~

Ravi carefully laid her down on the bed, worry clouding his features as she drifted right off, apparent that she’d been holding back until she got into her own bed. Hurrying out of the room, he went and locked the door, going back to clean up the kitchen from the other night before heading back into her room, his clothes instantly changing into his pajamas.

Relief took him as he slid into the bed next to her, pulling her back into his arms and holding her the way he’d been longing to since last night. All during the car ride home, it’d taken all he had not to pull her into his lap, she’d been so disoriented and groggy, he’d been afraid she’d pass out again. When he got her out of the taxi, he knew right away she wouldn’t be able to walk into her apartment on her own and so he’d decided then and there, to carry her in. He’d seen the stares of people, of women watching in awe and envy, though if they knew the real reason, they most certainly wouldn’t be envious of what she was going through. Ravi didn’t care about that, what he cared about most was making sure his jeongbu was ok, he hated to see her like this. The doctor had assured him she was ok to come home, but that she would be very tired and out of it until the drugs they’d given her, had worn off, which he was advised could take several hours.

Reaching out, he pulled the covers up over them both as he moved his body closer to hers. Carefully, he pushed her head down to his shoulder as he pulled her protectively against his body.

Now that she was in his arms and safe, he was finally able to sleep.

~~~

Four Hours Later

Shifting a bit, she stretched, opening her eyes to find her face buried in a masculine-smelling neck, warmth surrounded her body and a very familiar and yet unfamiliar sensation of protection engulfed her. In all her years she’d never felt so safe in her life.

Pulling away a bit, she realized she was in bed, in Ravi’s arms, her face hidden in his neck. She managed to look down to see him cradling her whole body with his protectively and she let out a deep breath. It was really too good, too amazing. She didn’t want to move, didn’t want to do anything that would cause him to move and release his hold on her, she was entirely too starved for it.

Lifting her gaze back to his face, she drank him in, His long eyelashes and nose, nice lips, she just wanted to lose herself in him and never come back. Carefully she brought her hand up, hovering just over his cheek and she hesitated. She was becoming too involved, becoming too attached, she hadn’t expected it to be so easy to become so used to someone, to be so needy for them. What made it worse was that she didn’t know how he felt, she knew what she was to him, a mistress, but for her, it was different. He’d become a part of her life in such a short period of time that…that…

Slowly she dropped her hand, looking at him sadly. She wanted to be more to him than a mistress, she wanted him to want her, to want to be with her, to...need her.

Shaking her head, she went to pull away, when his hold on her tightened, not allowing her to move. She looked down, his body hadn’t moved any, but his arms around stayed firm. Looking back up at him, her eyes widened when his eyes slowly opened, his gaze locking on hers intently.

“I-I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m…”

“Shhh…” he whispered, staring at her.

Her eyes grew bigger as he leaned in, burying his face in her neck, his lips brushing over her skin lightly as his hands started to run up and down along her back gently. She went absolutely still and then she felt his lips brush over her tattoo and a long, languid sigh escaped her, her body relaxing to liquid.

Ravi pulled away to look into her eyes, he looked alert, as if he hadn’t just been sleeping.

“You’re much more relaxed now aein, I’m glad. I can sense no distress in your body,” he announced, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek gently. “I’m glad you seem to be doing better, I was so worried about you.”

She blinked, unsure of what to say, or how to respond.

“How do you feel?”

Right now, she felt as if she could float away, she felt good, as if she didn’t have a care in the world other than making sure she stayed just where she was.

“I’m ok, still weak and tired, but ok.”

“What can I do for you?” He asked suddenly.

Shaking her head, “Nothing, I’m ok now.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Jinja?”

She nodded, wanting to stay just as they are for as long as possible.

Until…

There was a loud rumbling and her eyes widened and Ravi grinned broadly.

“Sounds like someone is hungry.”

She shook her head again, but her stomach seemed to agree with Ravi, rumbling loudly again. Wincing, she brought her hand to her stomach, giving him a pained and embarrassed look.

“I will go make you some rice porridge,” he chuckled.

He pulled away and she went to reach out for him, then stopped, watching as he slipped out from the covers, her eyes welling up suddenly. Slowly she managed to pull herself up, wiping quickly at her eyes, but the tears kept coming. She was way too emotional, but she couldn’t stop that feeling of loss, of feeling like he was too far away. Reaching out, she grabbed a tissue, wiping at her eyes again. It felt as if there was a weight on her body, she just desperately wanted to cry, just needed some kind of release.

Quickly, she slipped out of bed, wobbling a little, deciding to slow down a bit, her body was still run down. Carefully she got some fresh clothes, changing slowly before sitting back down on the bed again, taking a few deep breaths, and trying to relax. Ravi was wrong, she was anything but relaxed, she was worried, and stressed, and her body shook from strain.

Her gaze wandered around the room, stopping on a stuffed animal she’d received from one of the past young girls she’d helped. She slipped off the bed again, grabbing the animal and bringing it back over with her, hugging it tightly to her. Tears started to flow again, it was too hard to contain it. Lifting her head, she looked down the hall to see Ravi moving around in the kitchen and she turned, pressing her face into her pillow, crying softly.

Whatever happened, she didn’t want him to see.

~~~

Ravi turned and made his way towards the hall, sighing as he watched her crying into her pillow. He could feel the moment the tears had started, could feel the tension flaring up in her body. He’d seen her reach out for him and then pull away, wondering why she didn’t say anything, why she didn’t ask him to stay.

He closed his eyes, her soft sobs tearing at him. He didn’t know what she was going through, what she was telling herself that it brought her to tears in such a way. It was his urge, his desire to go to her and hold her close, but while he knew it was what she wanted, she wouldn’t allow for it. There was something holding her back, almost as if she needed permission to let go and be vulnerable, to rely on someone else for a change.

Shaking his head, he turned and headed back to the kitchen.

~~~

Ten minutes later, she sat up in the bed, the stuffed animal back on the shelf and she waited for him to return. Even though she’d cried a bit, she felt no better, if anything, she felt worse. There was a coolness to her body, her skin that she couldn’t seem to shake. She wrapped her arms around herself, seeking some warmth. She pulled the covers up over her as high as she could, looking up when Ravi made his way inside, a steaming bowl on a tray.

Carefully he set the tray on her lap and sat down across from her.

“Make sure you eat it all, it’s light enough so it shouldn’t upset your stomach,” he announced.

She stared down at the bowl, her eyes welling up again and she took a breath, closing her eyes and fighting the tears off. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked up at him, “Thanks Ravi, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble.”

He watched her steadily, “It was no trouble aein, I would do anything for you.”

Blinking rapidly, she looked down at the bowl, but she could barely see it through the tears that had once again started to well up. Gathering herself, she picked up the spoon and started to eat. She ate quickly, trying desperately to fill her empty stomach and when she finished that bowl, Ravi got her another and she finished that one too. Once done, he took the bowl and tray away and came back a short time later, stopping by the door, and watching her.

“Would you like some time alone?”

“Why don’t you ask me?”

He stilled, looking at her.

“I know you’ve been wanting to for a while, you’ve been kind enough to spare me, but you don’t have to anymore. Ask me about it…ask me those questions from before.”

There was silence for a moment and she lifted her eyes to his, waiting.

“Do you have any siblings?”

“I don’t know.”

Ravi bit his lip, “I couldn’t be a family friend…could I?”

“Probably not, but I don’t know for sure, I don’t know my family, I don’t know anything about them. I don’t know who my biological parents are or if they’re even alive. I don’t know if I have any siblings, any grandparents that are alive, or cousins.”

He watched her closely.

“I was given up for adoption at an orphanage when I was two days old. I didn’t get adopted right away like a lot of babies do for some reason. I was in and out of foster homes for several years. I almost got adopted three times but was then rejected when they got an offer for a baby, it was always known that most couples would rather have a baby than a young child. By the time I hit twelve, the foster homes stopped happening, and the possibility of adoption stopped too. The older you are, the harder it is to get adopted.”

Ravi slowly made his way into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed, her gaze following him.

“Once I turned 18, I had to leave. I had help for a month and then I was on my own. I didn’t do well and shortly after that first month, I was homeless. I slept on the street, in alleyways, under bridges, in boxes. Sometimes I was able to stay at a shelter, but it was only for a few days at a time. I met some kind people, people who had less than me that were willing to give me what little they had, you see true human compassion in times of tragedy for sure, but oftentimes, I went to bed hungry and with little to no shelter.”

A wistful smile fell upon her lips, she looked down at the ring on her finger that had suddenly appeared since being in the hospital that she couldn’t bring herself to remove and she closed her eyes as she fell back to those moments.

“Winters were the hardest. Upstate NY is known for its hard Winters, and often times I would fight hypothermia, search for food in garbage cans, and struggle for warmth. Sometimes I would sleep next to total strangers for body heat, only to wake up to find them…”

Slowly she opened her eyes, tears welling up again as she stared blankly at the bed, “It made me fight harder, harder and harder to have some kind of relief. One day in a park, I was sleeping on a bench and some kids were throwing rocks at me, poking me with sticks. As luck would have it, a woman came and stopped them, scaring them off. She took me in, helped me to wash up and gave me some clothes from her Granddaughter, and let me stay there until I got a job and got on my feet. Once I saved up enough to get a car and a small apartment on my own, I left, promising to come back to thank her. Only when I tried to, I found out she’d moved. I haven’t been able to find her since and I think part of me is scared to look in case…in case…”

She lifted her eyes to Ravi who was watching her, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“She’s part of the reason I do what I do you know? She took me in, a homeless stranger, and gave me a chance, helping me to do what I am now. In some ways, she’s like my family, and I never got to thank her properly. I promised I would pay it forward, so no young man or woman would have to struggle if I could help. I can’t help everyone, but I will help all I can until I take my last breath. I want them to know someone cares, someone, who’s been there knows what it’s like and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.”

She sighed shakily, “But it’s hard sometimes you know Ravi? I’ve been by myself for my whole life, I’ve done everything on my own, always. I’ve had no one to rely on, and while that makes me strong, it also makes me very weak and vulnerable. I don’t…I don’t have anyone but myself and…it gets lonely. You asked me before if I’m lonely,” she sniffled, nodding. “There’s no one out there for me, no one missing me, waiting for me. No one wants me or wanted me. I have no roots, no real home to go back to, no family. Yes, I’m lonely, I’m lonely all the time, lonely and alone.”

Ravi looked down, taking a shaky breath and she reached out, covering his hand with hers and he looked back up at her and she gave him a warm smile.

“I can’t dwell on that though you know? I have to keep fighting, I have to keep living, for all those who can’t. For those that I left behind, for those who didn’t make it, for the ones who didn’t wake up, I have to keep going for them. I have to make their sacrifice and that woman who gave me the chance, I have to make it worth their while. I’m still here, I’m alive and I’m breathing and now I have a stupid allergy to contend with, but I’ll make it through,” she shrugged, giving him a wink.

Her eyes widened as another tear made its way down his face and she frowned, “Hey now, don’t cry Ravi, c’mon, it’s ok,” she said reaching out to wipe at his face. “Let’s go out and watch some tv alright? I have to get back to normal here and since I’m off for a few days, we can hang out more.”

Ravi covered the hand on his cheek with his other as he continued to stare at her. She turned her hand in his, giving it a squeeze before carefully slipping off the bed, wobbling again and Ravi was right there beside her, holding her tightly so she didn’t fall.

“I’m ok, just a little unsteady,” she smiled.

~~~

He rubbed his hands on his pants, fidgeting a bit. She was too far away, he wanted her in his arms, especially after what she’d told him. All the questions he’d had before had finally been answered and it hadn’t been what he’d been expecting, not that he knew what that even was.

Ravi found that he now had a different purpose, a purpose to be there for her. Someone like her shouldn’t be so alone, not after all she’d done for everyone else, not after all she’d gone through. He sighed, his time with her was limited and he still hadn’t told her that she would forget him after he left. Maybe it’d be a bit of a blessing, that was provided that she didn’t care if he left or care if she remembered or not. Part of him worried that maybe she wouldn’t care.

Looking over at her, he vowed to take care of her for as long as he could.

Chapter Text

A Few Days Later

She dialed the number and waited.

“Annyong noona!”

She smiled at his voice, “Hello Ye Jun!”

“How are you?”

“I’m ok. How’s school going and work?”

“Great! I’m graduating soon, I just finished my last final last week and I did well. I will be sending out invitations, I hope that you will be able to come,” he said, a hint of shyness in his voice.

“Of course I will. I told you when you registered that I would definitely show up, you know I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Well, I know you’re busy helping others like me and so…”

“Shh, I don’t want to hear that, I will be there. You’re always important to me, you don’t even need to ask.”

“Thank you noona,” he said softly, relief apparent in his tone.

“Ok then.”

“So, what’s up noona?”

“Well, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Ok.”

“Since you’re into music and all, do you know where I can rent studio time for someone?”

“Studio time?”

“Yeah, I wanted to buy a few hours to let a friend of mine use a studio. It’s been a while since he’s been in it and I wanted to do something special. He’s really helped me out here lately and I wanted to pay him back with a surprise.”

“Helped you out? Did something happen? Do you need me to do something for you? Cause I…”

“No, everything is ok. You have work and graduation to worry about, not me.”

“But noona, I want to help you out, you’ve done so much for me…”

“You can help me by giving me some suggestions for studios.”

The young man was silent for a while, “Well…I don’t know of many that allow for timed use, most of the time you have to be a part of a company, and the ones that do allow you to buy a block of time, are very basic with limited access to programs and stuff.”

She frowned, “Oh really? Well, that’s too bad, I’ll have to see what else I can come up with. Anyway, I expect to get that invitation soon ok? And keep in touch, I want to know how everything is going at work and with your life. Remember, I told you I’m always here if you need help or if you want to brag, ok?”

Ye Jun chuckled, “Ok noona, I will.”

“Alright, take care, talk to you soon!”

She hung up and slumped back on the couch, that definitely put a wrench in her plans. Ravi had been nothing short of amazing these last few days, helping her to recover and get her strength back. He never complained but was always there when she needed him. She was feeling way better and would be going back to work in a few days.

She’d been expecting awkwardness on his part after she told him about her past, but nothing had changed, he treated her the same as he always had. All that said, there seemed to be a warmness to him now though, something that hadn’t quite been there before. Hearing her story had affected him in a way she hadn’t been expecting at all, she most certainly hadn’t expected tears.

There had to be something she could do for him to thank him; studio time had been perfect. It’d been years since he’d been in one and she so badly wanted to surprise him. She supposed she could still look and see if she could find a studio, even if the time and things that go with it were limited, she had to do something. They could finally do the bowling trip they’d planned before and then hopefully go to a studio she found after and then dinner.

Grabbing her phone, she started searching for studios.

~~~

The Next Day

She looked over at Ravi who was sitting beside her on the couch, writing in the notebook she’d gotten for him, he looked totally focused. She propped her head on her hand, watching him thoughtfully, a smile on her lips. He was truly handsome, she couldn’t believe someone like him was with her, the smile faded quickly from her lips though when she thought of the circumstances.

She couldn’t help but wonder if the situation was different, would he still be around her? Was she even his type of woman? Looking at him, she figured probably not, never in her wildest dreams, could she ever snag a guy like him. Was this the only way she could get a guy? Him being forced to be around her?

Suddenly Ravi looked up at her, watching her steadily.

“Why did you stop smiling all of a sudden aein? What took your smile?”

Blinking, she stared at him, “What?”

“I know you were watching me, and you’d been smiling and then you grew so sad. What’s wrong?”

She cleared her throat, “I’m sorry to stare, it was rude.”

“I do not mind, but why?” He persisted.

Staring at him, she smiled a bit, “Just thinking, nothing big.”

Ravi watched her, narrowing his eyes, “Mmmm.”

“Ravi, I was thinking, since we didn’t get to go bowling like we’d planned last week, how about going tonight?”

His eyes lit up, “Jinja?”

“Yeah!”

“How do you feel? Are you sure you’re up to it?” He asked suddenly, his expression going serious.

She smiled again, “Oh yeah, I’m feeling a lot better, I’m ready to do badly at bowling!” She chuckled.

Ravi laughed, “Well ok, if you’re sure. May I make a suggestion?”

“Of course.”

“Can we take a taxi? It may be easier for you instead of driving around all night,” he said quietly.

“Aww Ravi, I’m fine, really.”

“I know but…you were so sick and tired and all and…” he stopped, looking at her.

She felt her heart melt, he really seemed to care and even if he had to, it still felt good to have someone else worry about her welfare.

“Ok,” she said softly.

Relief filled his face, “Good, that makes me feel better, thank you for indulging me aein.”

“Thank you for being so considerate of me,” she smiled.

Ravi blushed a bit, “Ahh any person would after seeing someone they care about go through such an ordeal.”

Her eyes widened, and she watched as Ravi went back to his writing. She let out a shaky breath, wishing suddenly that he’d take her in his arms and kiss her. She didn’t know where that random thought came from, but suddenly she wanted to feel him, to feel his lips on hers.

Nothing physical had happened since she’d gotten out of the hospital and now that she was feeling better, that desire came back, even worse now than before, especially after experiencing what she had the night of the party. She closed her eyes, remembering it, feeling it. To have been pleasured in such a way that it was solely about her had been nice, not quite as nice as these last few days had been with the emotional comfort, but the physical comfort had been very nice to say the least.

Still, him holding her in his arms a few days ago when she’d woken had been the best, hands down. It still amazed her how starved she was for attention, and not attention in the sense of people being aware of her, in the sense of one person being aware and taking care of her.

Letting out a sigh of longing, slowly she opened her eyes, a soft gasp escaping her lips when she found Ravi’s face just inches from hers. He looked deep into her eyes for a moment before his gaze dropped to her lips.

“What were you thinking about aein?” He asked softly.

She swallowed hard, shaking her head, she couldn’t speak. Ravi lifted his eyes to hers again, watching her as he slowly leaned in, his lips brushing hers lightly. She inhaled sharply, going still, she wanted him to, hoped he would. He narrowed his eyes a bit before smirking and pulling away, her eyes widening when the phone rang suddenly.

Ravi reached out and grabbed her cell phone, handing it to her. Carefully she took the phone, looking at the screen blankly. Ravi reached out and answered the call, pushing the phone to her ear.

“H-hello?”

“Noona?”

“Ye Jun? Hey!”

“Hi noona, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to tell you that I happened to find a studio for you.”

She blinked, that caught her attention, “You did?! Really?!”

“Ne!”

“Thank you! I couldn’t find anything!”

“I really wanted to help you, I even got the address for you.”

“You are a lifesaver, thank you!”

She looked for a piece of paper and suddenly one appeared in front of her along with a pen. Casting Ravi a smile of thanks, she jotted down the address quickly, thanking Ye Jun again before hanging up, and looking at Ravi happily.

“Wow aein, what was that about?”

“It’s a surprise, I’m so excited!”

Ravi chuckled, “Ok then.”

“I’m gonna go get ready for tonight,” she said, bounding off the couch and hurrying into her room, shutting the door and leaning heavily against it.

She thought he was going to kiss her, but he didn’t. Did he know the phone was going to ring? Was he just torturing her by making her want something she couldn’t have? Well that was a lie, she could’ve had it, apparently, all she had to do was ask and he probably would have, but at the moment he’d taken her so off guard she hadn’t been expecting it, she could barely breathe let alone speak.

~~~

That Night

They headed into the cab, laughing.

“You whipped my booty, I knew it was going to be bad, but I didn’t know it would be that bad,” she laughed.

Ravi laughed harder, “You told me to play like I normally would.”

“Yeah but…that was a slaughter! Damn, man!”

He continued to laugh, and she shook her head, giving the driver the directions and the taxi pulled away from the curb. They were finally on their way to the studio, they’d stopped for dinner before going bowling and after four games, three of which Ravi won, and now she figured her one win was because of his generosity, the studio was last on their schedule, he, of course, didn’t know that. She hoped that he would be happy, hoped that it would be enough to thank him for all he’d done for her.

They arrived a few minutes later, they got out and she paid and looked over at Ravi who looked confused.

“Where are we aein?”

“C’mon, you’ll see once we’re inside,” she grinned, practically skipping to the entrance.

She hurried to the door, swinging it open and motioning for him to go in. Ravi gave her a look and took the door, holding it open, motioning for her instead to go in. She smiled and hurried in, Ravi following after. Making her way to the desk, she gave her name and pulled out her wallet to pay, when the receptionist stopped her.

“No need, it’s already paid for,” she announced.

Frowning she shook her head, “No, I didn’t pay yet.”

“Ne, there is already a four-hour block scheduled for you and one person for whenever you come in and it has been paid for.”

“But I…”

“Who paid for it? Can we know that please?” Ravi asked.

“Ne, Song Ye Jun.”

She felt her heart start pounding and tears welling up in her eyes, “O-oh…he did?”

The woman smiled and nodded, “Ne, he said he was buying it for his noona.”

Ravi placed his hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

“Oh…” she whispered again.

“Aein?” Ravi said softly, reaching out to wipe at the tears that started streaming down her cheeks. “Aein, what’s wrong?”

She shook her head, taking the tissue the woman behind the counter suddenly held out to her, thanking her quietly, “Nothing Ravi. Are you ready to see your surprise?”

He stared at her for a moment before nodding, “Ne.”

She smiled again at the woman who handed her a card for the door and a small card with a number on it along with a small packet and bowed her thanks before heading through the main door. Ravi followed close behind her, she could feel his excited energy all around her and it made her smile. She was still overwhelmed by the generosity of Ye Jun, but she would take care of that later.

She stopped by the door and turned to Ravi, “Ok, close your eyes.”

Ravi blinked, looking at her in question, “Ne?”

“Go on, close your eyes!” She grinned.

He raised an eyebrow before slowly closing his eyes. She slid the card through the slot on the door and heard the small beep. She turned the knob and pushed it open, poking her head in, flipping the lights on, her eyes widening. Reaching out, she grabbed his hands and pulled him in. “Trust me and come forward,” she announced.

Ravi allowed her to pull him in fully and she shut and locked the door after him and then came up and stood beside him. Biting her lip, hoping she was doing the right thing.

“Ok…open your eyes,” she said.

Ravi slowly opened his eyes, his body stilling.

“Surprise!!! Studio time!!! I brought you here so you can work on your lyrics, and your songs, create some CDs or you can put it on flash drives or on files and all that! See…” She opened her purse and pulled out his notebook and stuff, walking over and setting it carefully on the soundboard. “I brought your stuff, I didn’t look at it of course, but everything you need is here! From what I’ve read and what I was told, you can…uhh what’s it called?” She whipped out the paper she wrote the information down on when she called to get details. “There’s someone who can help you to get a cd put together before your time is up, looks like it’s included in this package cause it’s circled here on this pamphlet she gave me,” she said, holding up a small booklet while still looking at the piece of paper she had notes on. “You can lay down tracks and do all kinds of mixing and…and… uhh panning and sampling…” she stopped, frowning before looking back up at him. “I wrote more but, I don’t think I can pronounce the…”

She was silenced when arms came around her suddenly, pulling her into a warm, fierce embrace.

“R-Ravi?”

“Thank you aein, thank you for this, truly,” came his soft voice.

She could feel her face burning and she took the opportunity to bury it in his chest, inhaling deeply as she brought her arms up around him.

“Y-you don’t have to thank me, I just wanted to thank you for what you’ve done for me the last few days and all.”

His arms around her tightened, “We can…do other things if you’d rather.”

She blinked and pulled away, looking up at him. She had to fight off temptation, it wasn’t about her right now, this was for him. “No way, you are going to feed your passion right now, this is not about me. Now go on, do your thing. I brought some work for me to do so I don’t interrupt. The guy should be in soon to help, go on…” she said, pulling out his arms and shooing him over to the soundboard.

Making her way over to the comfy-looking couch, she sat, pulling her paperwork from her purse. She looked up to see Ravi looking through his notes and then he stopped, looking at the soundboard, running his hands over it longingly. There was an expression on his face, one of contentment and what looked almost like fear.

Carefully he sat in the chair and once again bolted up when there was a knock on the door. She stood and unlocked the door to be met what who she believed to be the guy that was there to help him with the music. She bowed and let him in and he made his way over to Ravi and they both sat after quick bows. Three and a half hours later, the man bowed his goodbyes and left and she turned to look at Ravi who held a cd in his hands, staring proudly at it.

She didn’t know how he’d done it in such a short period of time, but they’d created a music cd and she’d even heard him rap a bit, which had been surprising. He was completely different when he was rapping than what she’d seen from him. She saw how happy and comfortable he’d become, it had been like second nature. She’d heard the lyrics he’d shown her before and was excited to know he’d been working on it. While working, she’d watched him interact with the man, watched while they flipped levers and turned knobs and such, she was in awe. Several times she’d caught him watching her and when their gazes met, his look was hot and intense.

Now finally, it looked like his hard work had paid off. Ravi looked up at her, his face lit up with happiness.

“It’s done aein!”

She smiled broadly, “Congratulations!”

She finished packing her things up and set her purse to the side as Ravi came over, sitting next to her, his eyes still on the cd. He reminded her of a little kid who’d gotten what he really wanted for Christmas.

“When we get home, do you mind if I make a copy for myself?”

Ravi looked up at her, “You want one?”

“Of course I do! I want to be able to listen to it. You’ll sign the cd for me right?”

He chuckled, “Ne, I will.”

She nodded, “Ok then, I look forward to it.”

Ravi grinned, “Kamsa aein.”

“You know Ravi, I’m very proud of you.”

He blinked, staring at her.

“I know it’s been years and I could see the apprehension and the fear on your face, but you did it and you did it well. You are extremely talented, and I hate to see that talent going to waste like this, through no fault of your own of course. I don’t know what the future holds for you, but I hope you get to do what you truly love, I want that for you. I want you to be happy,” she said quietly, leaning in to kiss his cheek gently.

Ravi slowly looked down at the cd before reaching out and setting it on the table in front of them and then turning to look at her. He moved in closer to her, sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her towards him.

Her eyes widened, “What are you…”

She stopped as he pulled her onto his lap, forcing her to straddle him.

“Did you lock the door?” He asked suddenly.

Frowning at him in confusion, she nodded, “Yeah, why?”

“Good, it’s my turn to thank you for your kindness to this lowly noye ok?” Ravi whispered, his eyes starting to swirl black.

She blinked, “Ok but…wha…”

She was cut off as his lips found hers in a desperate kiss, his hands sliding up her back, pulling frantically at her shirt.

Moaning against his lips, she broke the kiss, panting hard, “Wha-what are you doing?”

“I can’t wait, you make me crazy,” he said softly.

“What did I even do? I just wanted to thank you, I just wanted…”

“And that is enough,” he cut her off, leaning in, nibbling on her neck.

She shook her head, “I don’t…don’t…mmm…under-stand,” she said brokenly, her eyes slowly closing at the sensations.

His hands slid down again and this time, up under her shirt, coming in contact with her bare skin. His fingers slid over her back, finding her bra strap and unfastening it with a flick of his wrist. Her eyes flew open, and she pulled back again.

“Ravi, we’re in public!” She whispered harshly.

“So?”

“So? Anyone could walk in!”

A slow smile spread over his lips as he leaned in, brushing his lips over her cheek lightly before stopping right by her ear, “But you locked the door, no one will interrupt aein,” he said silkily.

Her eyes widened and then closed again as he pulled her earlobe into his mouth, sucking gently. This was wrong, this was so wrong. Nothing, she’d done nothing to deserve this kind of thanks from him, she just wanted him to be able to do what he loved, it certainly didn’t call for this kind of gratitude, it seemed too much for a simple studio session.

His hands moved from around her back to her front, pushing her now loose bra up and then cupping her breasts in his hands, kneading them gently. Her head was spinning, and she had all she could do to try to keep her wits about her, but it was growing increasingly harder. She tried to focus on the fact that people were just outside and next door, anyone could come knocking, anything could happen and here she was with Ravi’s hands under her shirt!

“Ra-vi…” She moaned through gritted teeth and then his lips were on hers once again.

He fell back to the couch, sliding his hands down from her breasts to her hips, pulling them tightly to his. She could feel his arousal at her core and she moaned into his mouth, taring her lips away.

“You drive me crazy aein, I want you so bad, so bad I can’t stand it,” Ravi whispered, his deep voice pouring over her.

Her jaw dropped and he leaned in, kissing her again, pulling her hips to his again as he pressed upwards, they both moaned. This is what she’d wanted since getting out of the hospital and it hadn’t happened until now. He’d been so considerate, so careful of her condition while inside, she’d been longing for him to touch her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, moving in closer to him, hugging him tightly. The intensity of the kiss increased and she brought her hands down, running them over the expanse of his chest, wanting desperately to feel his skin. She rocked her hips against his unconsciously and she heard him moan deeply against her lips. He pushed his hips up to hers and she pushed hers back down, she couldn’t stop herself.

Ravi tore his lips away, swearing in Korean suddenly, “I want you now, right here and right now aein,” he panted.

She didn’t know if she could be so bold as to do anything in public, granted the door was locked but still…

Sensing her hesitation, a strained chuckle escaped his lips, “Arrasso aein, but there are ways around this, are you ready?”

Looking into his eyes, she knew what he meant and while it wouldn’t be as good as the actual action, it would have to do for now. Part of her felt she was disappointing him in some way, again unable to follow through with what she so blatantly wanted and making him wait. She was never so wishy-washy, never so disjointed, but somehow all of this made her doubt herself in some strange way.

Ravi brought his hands up suddenly, cupping her face, his gaze growing intent and determined, “Stop,” was all he said.

They stared at each other for a moment before she leaned in, kissing him hungrily. Suddenly it was a blur of hands and lips, touching, kissing, stroking. Her body burned, ached with a longing that only he seemed capable to sate, how could that be when he’d only just come into her life? How could it be that he felt like what she’d been waiting for, how could he feel…

Like home?

She rocked harder against him, his hips pressed up to hers firmly and she could feel the heat rising as the blood started rushing lower, her core becoming hyper-sensitive, she squirmed, wanting…needing more.

“Ravi…raaavvviii…” she moaned against his lips.

They increased speed, and his hands slid down her body to her ass, squeezing as he shoved her hips to his and held them still as he somehow managed to grind repeatedly against her. She tore her lips from his, gasping loudly, squeezing her eyes shut as her head fell back and she felt his hardened length through her jeans right against her core, hard, solid, and eager.

Ravi leaned in, his lips right by her ear, “I don’t know…how much longer I can…” he groaned, his breath coming out in puffs on her skin. “I ache for you, I think of you all…the…time,” he breathed, his hips starting to bump against hers in an imitation of what would most likely be amazing sex. “I can’t wait to feel you on the inside, warm and wet…soft and tight…how much…lon-ger aein,” he choked out.

She whimpered, his words pushed her over the edge and suddenly she was falling, her body clenched at nothing, a very present emptiness filling her, even though the thick and steel-like bulge was very prominent below her, it wasn’t nearly enough, but still, it got the job done as an orgasm washed over her. Her body acting of its own accord, grinded hard against Ravi as she pulled his body to hers, hugging him tightly.

A low groan escaped his lips and a few seconds later, her body relaxed and went limp against his as he slumped back against the couch. Their heavy breathing echoed throughout the room. She felt his hands running up and down along her back gently and it was insanely relaxing, she rested her head on his shoulder, quite content to just lay on him like that.

He wrapped his arms back around her, hugging her close, nuzzling her neck gently. She brought a hand up to rub at her face, groaning when she realized they were still in a public place and they’d just had pseudo-sex in a recording studio because she couldn’t control herself…an all-new low. She couldn’t say she regretted it though, she’d wanted more contact with him for a while and while this hadn’t been the best place, she’d finally gotten it, that urge had subsided just a bit and would have to hold her off until…god knew when.

Slowly she pulled away and lifted her head to look at him shyly, “We should probably go, the time is almost up,” she said, starting to slip off his lap, when he held her in place.

They looked at each other and something passed between them, something sad and dangerous. A few minutes later, they left the room.

A Few Weeks Later

Ravi sat at the table, knowing he couldn’t put it off any longer, he had to tell her. He should’ve told her before, when he’d first arrived, but everything had happened and then she got sick and he kept putting it off and then his feelings for her started to grow and after learning about her history, it seemed cruel to say anything.

Sighing, he looked down the hall to see her moving around in her room, getting her clothes ready for the graduation tomorrow. It was wrong to do this night before such a meaningful occasion for her, but he really didn’t want to hold off any longer. After what’d happened at the recording studio, it was just a matter of time before they actually had sex, it was inevitable now.

She’d looked at him and he’d looked at her and they both knew that next time there would be no holding back, neither would be able to. As much as he wanted to know her body inside and out, he also didn’t want what came with that knowledge. He didn’t want to have to leave her, he wanted to stay with her, he simply wanted her. Ravi knew once they had sex, his days with her were numbered, eventually, she would be alone again, alone with no memories of him.

Somehow during all this, he’d grown selfish, he wanted her to remember him, he wanted her to want and need him, the way he did her. He couldn’t imagine her living with this feeling her whole life, wanting someone to want her, to need and care for her, it didn’t seem fair. She’d lived looking for someone to want her, to fill that empty space, but there’d been no one.

Ravi wanted to be that one, he knew he could be if not for the damn curse he was under. Maybe he didn’t need to tell her really, it would be too harsh. Then again, what if she didn’t feel that way about him? He knew how he felt, but what if it didn’t matter to her? What if she didn’t care if she forgot him? What if she didn’t care about him?

What if she didn’t…?

Frowning, he buried his head in his hands, no, he had to tell her, he was required to. Maybe she wouldn’t care and that would make it easier for him to go back to his existence as a love slave who had nothing more to wish or look forward to.

~~~

She flipped the light off in her room and headed out to the living room, stopping when she saw Ravi sitting at the table, watching as she made her way out.

“Ravi? What’s wrong? I thought we were going to watch a movie before we went to bed.”

“Aein, I have something to tell you, will you please sit down?” He said quietly.

She blinked, a feeling of dread washing over her as she pulled a chair out across from him and sat down.

“What’s wrong Ravi?”

“There’s something I need to tell you, something I should’ve told you in the beginning. It may not matter but, I am required to tell you this,” he said softly.

“Holy crap what is it?” She frowned.

He took a breath, “I told you that once the consummation of the contract is fulfilled, I can then leave at any time, remember?”

She hesitated a moment before nodding, where was this going?

“Well, what I didn’t tell you was that…”

She stared at him, waiting for him to finish.

“Was that, you will forget.”

She blinked, “Forget? Forget what?”

“Everything, all of this, and anyone that’s come in contact with me will forget me too. You’ll forget everything about love slaves, your tattoo will disappear, and all of our time together will be a memory, one that you will never seem to place, as if a dream. Most importantly, you will forget me.”

Her eyes widened, and she felt something inside her crack apart, “What?”

“It will be as if I never existed here with you. Any traces of me will remain, but you will not be able to see my face in your mind, remember my name…nothing. I guess…maybe in a way, it’ll be good for you. I’m odd, this is not a typical situation and I…maybe you’ll be better off,” he said, watching her closely.

A rush of anger welled up in her suddenly, how dare he!

“How could you even say that? Think that?”

His eyes widened, and he leaned back in his chair a bit taken off guard at her sudden anger.

“How could I want to forget you? Why would I want my memories of you to be filled with uncertainty and confusion? How could I not want to remember you? Everything about you is amazing and you’ve done so much for me, h-how could I…why would you say that Ravi?” She whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Ravi frowned, reaching out to take her hands and she yanked them away, standing up abruptly from her chair.

“Aein, I didn’t mean it in that way. I just thought that…” he said softly.

She stared at him before turning and hurrying down the hallway and into her room, slamming the door shut before slumping against it.

It was bad enough that he would leave after they’d had sex, but to find out she would forget him, that he would no longer exist in her mind, didn’t seem fair. Why? Why couldn’t she have just one thing, one person that made her happy? Why couldn’t she at the very least, have her memories? She couldn’t have him, so she couldn’t have any part of him, ever? Whoever that sorceress was, she hated the woman, hated her with a passion and if she ever had the chance to tell her, she sure as hell would.

Hadn’t her life been hard enough? Hadn’t fate dealing her blow after blow been enough? She’d accepted the cards she’d been dealt, why couldn’t she have at least this? She slid down to the floor, tears streaming heavily down from her eyes, she didn’t want to forget. She wanted to remember him, remember every look and touch and moment. She wanted, no, needed to remember him, to remember the one person who’d ever made her feel wanted and cared for, even if it was fake.

Burying her face in her arms, she cried softly. She would remember, she would do her best, force herself to remember the man she’d grown to love.

Her heart would remember…wouldn’t it?

~~~

Ravi stood outside the door, his hand pressed to it, his body in anguish over the soft cries coming from the other side. He rested his head against the door, closing his eyes. He could feel her pain, her sorrow, different from when she was in the hospital. No, this was such a sense of dread and loneliness that he could barely breathe, and he’d caused it. If he had told her sooner, from the beginning, it wouldn’t be this way. He’d waited too long and now he’d caused her unnecessary pain.

“Aein…aein I’m sorry,” he whispered, tears quickly making their way down his cheeks, “I’m so sorry.”

~~~

They made their way inside the building and into the auditorium and found a seat. She was so excited to see Ye Jun graduate, he’d worked so hard for this and to see it come to fruition made her so proud. She looked over at Ravi and smiled broadly, he looked at her, smiling as well. This was one of several graduations she’d been to and they were each special because of the person and it never got old. She loved how it felt to see them on stage happy and with direction, it reminded her why she did what she did.

She was happy that Ravi had joined her, he’d never met Ye Jun, but she was anxious to introduce him, even if he wouldn’t remember later. She looked down at the program in her hands, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the fact that she would forget Ravi. There was the proverbial elephant in the room since last night, neither spoke of it today, but it was there.

For some reason, she couldn’t make her heart stop hurting. She was of the mind to not ever have sex with him and make him stay with her forever, but she knew that wouldn’t happen. That last time in the studio had been way too intense, way too much. No, the next time it would happen, and she wanted it, wanted it more than she’d wanted anything in a long time. She hoped she would have time with him after, hoped they would have days, months, maybe even years before he was called back. That sorceress had a lot of love slaves, right? She could let him be with her for a bit, couldn’t she?

Shaking her head, she was stunned at her selfishness when it came to him. He wasn’t hers, not beyond the contract and he wasn’t a thing to be owned, he was a person. But…god how she wanted him, she wanted him so much and she couldn’t have him. It was cruel to dangle him in front of her face, tease and tempt her with him and then snatch him away after she’d fallen hopelessly in love with him, it was mean.

A short time later, the ceremony started, and they watched intently. When Ye Jun’s name was called, she clapped loudly, wiping at her eyes with a tissue as he walked across the stage to get his diploma, with Honors distinction, something that when he’d told her he’d achieved, had threatened to put her through the roof with happiness.

After everyone had received their diplomas and the speeches were given, the ceremony ended, and she waited in back away from everyone with Ravi. She hoped for a moment to get to congratulate Ye Jun in person and thank him for what he’d done for her.

“Relax aein, you’re shaking,” Ravi grinned.

“You can tell? Really?”

“I can see your hands shaking from here,” he gently chastised, shaking his head in amusement.

“I can’t help it, I’m so proud of him. When I first met him, he was this angry and bitter young man and we worked through it together. I helped him to get a job, find an apartment, and get into college and look at him now! He’s come so far and he’s going to go even further cause he’s so smart and kind and…I’m just so…so happy for him Ravi,” she said softly, wiping at her eyes again.

Ravi reached out, wiping at her eyes that continued to spill over with tears, “I know aein.”

She smiled at him and looked over into the crowd, “Oh, there he is! He’s with a bunch of friends, ahh, I don’t want to bother him. Maybe I should just send him his gift.”

“Don’t you think he’d rather get it from you personally?” Ravi asked carefully.

She bit her lip, “I guess, but I don’t…”

“Noona!”

She looked over to see Ye Jun waving excitedly at her. A huge smile spread over her face as she hurried over to him.

“Congratulations Ye Jun!” She cried, pulling him into her arms before she could stop herself, hugging him fiercely, decorum be damned. “I’m so very proud of you,” she said, giving him a squeeze before pulling away to look at him.

Ye Jun’s face was beet red, but he was positively beaming, “Thank you noona.”

“Look at all you’ve done and here you are graduating, with Honors no less. I knew you could do it and here, I got this for you,” she handed him the gift bag.

“You didn’t have to get me anything noona,” he said softly.

“Of course I did, this is a big day, go on, open it!”

Ye Jun dug inside the bag and pulled out a medium-sized jeweler's box, prying it open, his eyes widened, “Daebak!!”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it! It’s what I wanted!”

“I thought that was the one you showed me. I knew you wouldn’t get it for yourself, so I thought it’d make a great surprise. Whenever you feel down or like you can’t go on, I want you to look at that and remember there’s someone always rooting for you and who will be there for you no matter what alright? Anytime you need me, you know how to get in touch with me. This doesn’t stop here, we’re family now, you’re not alone ok?”

Ye Jun looked up at her, his eyes suspiciously glossy, and nodded, “Thank you noona, I will wear it proudly.”

“Go ahead, put it on,” she grinned.

He pulled the expensive watch out and snapped it on, his face lit up, “Daebak,” he sighed again in awe.

Ravi came up beside them, smiling at her.

“Oh, I’m sorry Ravi, I got so caught up in the moment. Ye Jun this is Ravi, he’s the one who I needed to get the studio time for. Ravi, this is Song Ye Jun.”

Ravi bowed as did Ye Jun, “Nice to meet you Ye Jun.”

Ye Jun nodded, giving him a skeptical look, “Are you noonas boyfriend?”

Her eyes widened, “No no, nothing like that, he’s just a close friend.”

“Thank you for the studio time Ye Jun, I really appreciate it. I thought that maybe…” Ravi handed him a copy of the cd. “You’d like a copy to see what I did, what you helped me to do, hopefully, you’ll listen to it. I hear you’re going into producing, good luck, I know you’ll do well,” he smiled.

Ye Jun looked down at the cd, “Whoa, you created an actual cd in four hours?!”

Ravi smiled and nodded.

“Wow, maybe next time, I can help you produce it,” Ye Jun said, looking up at him.

Ravi gave him a sad smile, “I would like that.”

Ye Jun nodded, “Alright then, wait for me. When I learn how I’m gonna hold you to that ok?”

He smiled broader, “Ne.”

“Take good care of my noona ok? She does so much for everyone else, it’s about time that someone takes care of her and if I find out you hurt her in any way, I’ll come after you and you can forget about me producing an album for you, got that?”

“Ye Jun!” She cried, looking over at Ravi worriedly.

Ravi stared at him a moment, a serious expression on his face, “I will, don’t you worry.”

Ye Jun sized him up before nodding, “Good.” Ye Jun looked over at her, his expression uncommonly solemn, “He promised noona so I’m gonna leave you to him. Let him take care of you, ok?”

“Ye Jun…”

He reached out, taking her hands suddenly, “I’m going to be away for a while for my internship, I need to know you’re being taken care of. Promise me you’ll let him noona, promise me,” Ye Jun said, his voice urgent.

She looked over at Ravi who was staring at Ye Jun in admiration before he looked over at her expectantly. Looking back over at Ye Jun, she nodded, and a look of relief washed over his face.

“Now I won’t need to worry. I’ll email you and text you ok noona? I won’t forget, I promise and thank you for helping me, for all you’ve done for me…thank you,” he said softly, bowing ninety degrees before straightening up again.

She bit her lip, reaching out and pulling him back into her arms again, hugging him tightly, “Thank you for letting me,” she whispered in his ear before quickly letting him go. “Go on, go celebrate with your friends, I’ll see you later.”

Ye Jun bowed to Ravi and then to her again, giving her one last look before turning and hurrying back over to his friends, showing them his watch.

The tears flowed freely again, Ye Jun had been special as had all the young men and women she’d helped, but there was something about him. Watching him go and move on, felt what she imagined it felt like watching a sibling move away from home, happy and sad at the same time. She knew he was going to be ok because he was strong but…he didn’t need her anymore. She felt an arm slide around her back and she looked up to find Ravi watching her gently.

“Let’s go out and celebrate ok?”

~~~

After an extremely casual dinner of street food consisting of ramen, tteokbokki, jjangmyeon and gimbap, they stopped at a convenience store to get several bottles of soju (of which Ravi promised he would partake due to the occasion) and an obscene amount of snacks (which he also promised he would indulge in as well since he’d already had the other food earlier) and headed back home where they were now sitting on the couch drinking and talking. Actually, she was doing more of the talking and drinking, while Ravi was watching and listening in interest.

“…So yeah, that’s what I said to him you know? I was like, I can’t do that right now. I’m getting ready to make a major move and I can’t really commit to anything, I don’t know when I’m coming back and yeah, he was not happy. I was like, excuse me, I don’t want to start a relationship when I’m moving to another country, how is that fair to either of us?”

Ravi nodded, grabbing a chip and popping it in his mouth, munching away.

“That was my last semi-relationship, if I can even call it that. I kept up with him on Facebook for a bit, but then he got engaged and that was that” she shrugged, pouring another shot of soju and downing it.

She could feel a slight, slight buzz starting, but not much. She had an uncommonly high alcohol tolerance, she didn’t know where it came from, much like everything else. She’d never been a sloppy drunk, she could get tipsy sometimes, or like now, feel relaxed and more inclined to talk, but never pass out and wake up with a massive hangover in the morning.

Looking over at him, she raised an eyebrow, “How bout you?”

Ravi shrugged, pouring a shot of soju and downing it, “It’s been a while. I’ve always been…picky about the women I date, so I didn’t very often.

“Ahhh,” she grinned, nodding, she’d figured that.

“When it did happen, it usually lasted a fair amount of time.”

“So…mister picky, what do you look for in a woman?”

He stopped, looking at her, hesitant to respond.

“C’mon, you can say it, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know, and be honest,” she chuckled, grabbing a handful of snacks and shoving it in her mouth, munching away.

“Well…I’d like her to be smart and…and…”

“And…”

“Pretty.”

She blinked, staring at him.

Ravi shifted uncomfortably.

“That’s it?”

He cleared his throat, “I guess.”

She continued to stare at him, a hint of a smile on her lips as she shoved more snacks in her mouth.

“What?” He frowned, eating more snacks.

She started giggling, pouring more soju and downing it quickly, “Nothing, just that I’m not really surprised.”

He tilted his head to the side, “Why?”

This is where normally she would sugarcoat it and make it a diplomatic statement, but she had two and a half bottles of soju in her system and while she was completely lucid, she was at that point where whatever she was thinking was going to come out.

“Because I mean…look at you. You could get any woman you want, it wouldn’t be hard, and she wouldn’t have to have a whole lot to be your ideal woman because it would just happen naturally. If you found a pretty and smart woman, she would be everything else in this…this perfect package.”

Ravi continued to watch her and she poured another shot of soju and threw it back again.

“She would know stuff, she wouldn’t have to figure out who she is and find her parents and her family, she wouldn’t have to wonder if she was really all alone in the world,” she sighed, resting her head in her hand. “She wouldn’t have to worry about someone wanting or needing her cause…cause she’d already have you.”

Ravi blinked, his eyes widening suddenly as tears started streaming down her cheeks.

Lifting her head, she stared blankly at the coffee table, she went on, seemingly oblivious to her current emotional state, “You know, I’ve spent my life by myself and I was ok with that for a while, it was what I was used to. Now though, now it’s gotten harder. I work, I come home to an empty apartment, I eat, watch tv and go to sleep and do it all again the next day. There is no one here for me, no one waiting for me and I want that, I want it desperately,” she sniffled. “I don’t have a Mother who calls me to see how I am, or a brother to keep tabs on who I’m dating and threaten to hurt him if he makes me cry…a sister to get advice from on a new relationship, no grandmother to spoil me, n-no father to walk me down the aisle when I get married,” she blurted out, the tears steadily streaming down her cheeks.

“Aein…” Ravi whispered.

“I have no one and I refuse to allow myself to wallow 'cause there’s others out there who have it way worse than me I know but…but…” she bit her lip, “W-why?”

“Aein?”

“Why doesn’t anyone want me? What did I do so wrong as a baby that my parents would give me up? What did I do so wrong that they would just…l-leave me alone to fend for myself? I couldn’t get adopted, they always picked someone else over me, three times…why?” She whimpered, the pressure on her chest growing, her face growing warm as the lump in her throat grew bigger and bigger, making it hard for her to swallow, hard for her to speak. “Y-you’re gonna leave me too and I don’t even have the one comfort to remember you, someone who has shown me more affection and care than I’ve ever had in my life. Soon you’ll leave and then I’ll be alone again.”

Ravi shook his head, his eyes welling up suddenly.

She looked up at him, “Why doesn’t anyone…w-want me?”

Suddenly the dam burst and the tears flowed faster and harder.

“N-no one needed me, ever needed me, w-why?” She cried harder, wrapping her arms around her stomach as she bent over as she usually did when she cried with no abandon on rare times like this, with no one to console her but herself, crying so hard it literally hurt all over.

“Ohhh aein,” Ravi said gently, reaching out to pull her onto his lap and into his arms, kissing her temple lightly as he slid his hands down, unwrapping her arms and wrapping them around him instead.

He held her tightly as she sobbed into his chest, years of hurt and pain finally finding a safe place to spill out into. She hugged him hard, wishing desperately he could take all the pain away.

“Mianhae aein, I’m so sorry. You did nothing wrong, nothing,” he said fiercely as he rubbed her back soothingly. “You are wanted, I promise, you are so wanted,” he whispered, closing his eyes.

Chapter Text

A Few Hours Later

Sighing heavily, she slowly opened her eyes to see warm brown ones staring down at her.

“Mmmm, Ravi?” She said sleepily.

He gave her a gentle smile and nodded.

“Why are you awake? You should be sleeping,” she whispered, her eyes starting to close again.

“You were calling out for me,” he said suddenly.

She sighed and opened her eyes again, “I was?”

Ravi nodded, raising an eyebrow.

“Sorry, I don’t usually talk in my sleep like that,” she yawned, sitting up a bit, seeing that he was in his black silk pajamas making her realize that he’d moved them to her bedroom.

“Go on back to sleep aein,” he said, trying to push her back down.

She shook her head and leaned back against the headboard, letting out a breath as the previous evening's events came back to her.

“Aww fuck, I’m remembering last night, I’m sorry for the emotional ranting. I’m not a nasty or violent drinker, I’m an emotional one and not even usually that bad, but Ye Jun’s graduation just hit a note I guess. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable,” she sighed, slowly opening her eyes to find Ravi watching her closely.

“Why are you apologizing?”

She shrugged, “I dunno, I just feel like I took advantage of you being here. Typically, I don’t have the luxury of having anyone to cry to or on, that’s not what you’re here for.”

Ravi shook his head, reaching out to brush her hair behind her ear, “Not true, physical satisfaction isn’t just sex.”

“No, but it’s the best kind, right?” She chuckled.

He smiled a bit, “It’s nice yes.”

She gave him a look.

“Ok, it’s very nice, but sometimes…sometimes holding someone, providing emotional satisfaction and support is even better. Before becoming a love slave, I wouldn’t have thought so, but after being used purely for sex most of the time over the course of several years, hugging someone, and being close to someone in a purely innocent sense I find even more fulfilling honestly.”

She stared at him, wordlessly.

“What are you thinking aein?”

“I’m thinking how lucky your ideal woman is gonna be when she gets you. While your current state isn’t great by any means, it’s still an experience and you get the knowledge that a lot of men won’t ever get, and she’ll benefit greatly from that, she’ll be very lucky,” she chuckled sadly.

Ravi stared at her intently.

“Don’t mind me, I’m still feeling the effects of that soju all this time later apparently,” she announced, waving her statement off with her hand as she slid off the bed and started out of the room to the bathroom.

Suddenly she felt herself being whirled around and pressed to the wall. Her eyes widened when she found Ravi staring at her, black swirling in his eyes, why was he turned on?

“What if I told you aein, that I wanted it to be you? What if I wanted it to be you so bad?” Ravi whispered.

She swallowed hard, “H-huh?”

“I want you to want me, want me as much as…as…” he stopped, staring at her for a moment before leaning in, burying his face in her neck, starting to nip and suck lightly on her skin.

“Ravi?”

“I want you to “get” me, have me,” he said suddenly.

She bit her lip, “But…I’m not her, I’m not your ideal type.”

She felt his lips by her ear.

“Says who?” Ravi whispered, his low voice spilling over her heavily.

Her eyes widened and then closed as he started to bite at her neck more, sucking harder and harder. She brought her hands up, gripping his shoulders, his lips brushed over the tattoo and she let out a loud sigh, pulling him closer to her.

“I need to feel you, please…please…”

No more waiting…

Ravi pulled away to look at her and her gaze met his, she bit her lip, giving him a small smile before leaning in resting her forehead against his and his body stilled. For some reason it felt as if they’d turned a corner, there was no turning back. Suddenly the circumstances of him being there didn’t matter, she would pretend that he was there because he wanted to be and that he cared about her, that she was the only woman in his life and that she would be the one he remembered, even if she couldn’t do the same for him.

That’s why she closed her eyes and let herself fall into the fantasy that the man in front of her wanted her like she wanted him. She could imagine that he saw her as a woman unlike the others and that it wasn’t a chore or just something that he did because he had to, like he told her in the beginning. If she tried hard enough, she could pretend that it meant more to him than it really did.

Maybe just this once, she didn’t have to be so empty, so…alone.

Taking a fortifying breath, she lifted her head and looked into his eyes, but she could barely make him out through the tears that had welled up.

“Aein…”

She leaned in, bringing her hands up to cup his face carefully before pressing her lips to his gently, hoping he understood that she couldn’t say the words. He pulled away again to look at her, sadness in his eyes.

“I…”

She shook her head, leaning in to kiss him again, sliding her hands from his face, to wrap her arms around his neck. His hands on her waist, moved, pulling her sweatpants down and she lifted her legs out, kicking them off to the side as his fingers hooked into the band of her underwear, sliding them down as well before pressing her firmly against the wall and hoisting her up, her legs wrapping around his waist.

She was aware on some level, that she was naked from the waist down, but at this point she didn’t care. His hands left her body for a moment before grasping again at her hips, shifting her a bit and pulling her down, she let out a low moan when she felt him slip into her slowly. She was glad there had been no prelude, no more waiting.

He tore his lips from hers, panting hard, “Aein.”

That scent that surrounded him and hung heavy in the room, seemed to enhance, become stronger until it swirled around her head. He felt amazing and her body reacted, clenching around the hardness embedded within her. She let out a breath, her head falling back to the wall with a thud. He moved in closer, pressing his hips right to hers, causing her legs to spread wider apart to accommodate.

Bringing her hands down, she grabbed at his shoulders, fisting the soft silk in her hands as he started to move, each thrust pushing her harder and harder into the wall. Ravi leaned in, brushing his lips over her tattoo and her body clenched him within her again and she let out a strangled moan, sliding her hands up into his hair, tugging a bit. She whispered his name into his ear, pushing his head closer to her, she couldn’t get enough of him. She wanted him all over, she wanted his body wrapped around hers, she wanted to feel him, not the wall against her back.

As much as she wanted it all to last, her body had other ideas, starting to clench and release around his length rhythmically.

“S-stop,” she panted, “Stop…it’ll…be o-over t-too…s-soon.”

Ravi slowly pulled away from her neck, his eyes meeting hers, black swirling heavily in them. His gaze was intense, he stopped moving but continued to watch her. Her body tightened around him again and still he did nothing, just watched her. Slowly he leaned in, his eyes never leaving hers as he brushed his lips against hers, running his tongue lightly over hers.

Her breathing grew shallow, her body starting to tense more as she felt heat pour over her.

“R-Ravi…” she breathed.

He pressed his chest to hers tightly, his hands on the wall by her head as he pressed his lips to hers gently and suddenly it was as if the thread holding her control in check, snapped. Her hips started to buck against his harshly and she tore her lips from his, squeezing her eyes tightly shut as an orgasm rushed over her. She tightened her legs around his hips, making sure he didn’t move, didn’t pull out.

“I’m not…going anywhere,” he breathed.

She let her head fall back to the wall as she arched a bit. His arms came around her suddenly, pulling her away from the wall just enough for his arms to circle her completely. He crushed her to his chest, causing him to push a few inches deeper inside her, she bucked her hips once more before her body relaxed, slumping against him weakly.

Holding him tight to her, she panted hard, wishing they’d done this sooner. She felt whole for the first time in her life, complete. She’d had sex before, and she’d never dated too much, but she’d never felt with any other guy, what she felt with Ravi right now.

The realization that the contract had finally been consummated, made panic spread over her. She tightened her hold on him even more and her eyes widened when he carefully released her, her legs slid to the floor and he pulled away a bit. She gripped his shoulders and he pulled away to look at her, worry in his eyes.

“Aein?”

She let out a breath, realizing how it must seem to him. Staring helplessly at him, she didn’t know how to tell him that she wanted more, that she wasn’t ready for this to be over yet, that once wasn’t enough, nothing would ever be enough.

Ravi tilted his head to the side, giving her a soft smile, leaning in to kiss her gently before pulling away.

“We’re just starting, we have all night,” he said seductively.

Before she could stop it, a sigh of relief escaped her lips and the low rumble of his laugh poured over her and the vibration from it could be felt throughout her body since they were still connected.

“I told you, I’m not going anywhere aein, you do not need to worry,” he whispered, giving her a sultry smile before pulling away fully, his surprisingly still hardened length slipping from her body.

She could barely contain a whimper of loss before he took her hand and led her over to the bed. Reaching out, he pulled her t-shirt which served as pajamas, up and off before bringing his hands down her shoulders, pulling the straps of her bra down. Reaching around behind her, he quickly unhooked the band and in one fluid motion pulled it away from her body, tossing it carelessly to the floor. The ease with which he did everything stunned her, realizing his experience far exceeded her expectations.

The heat rose to her cheeks when she realized she was completely naked in front of him and he still had his top on. Once again, part of her couldn’t help but wonder if he liked what he saw, he’d been around a lot of women, lots of which she knew were way more fit, way more everything than her. So badly she wanted to please him, so badly she wanted to be the one that stood out, the one he remembered.

Ravi reached out, taking her hands and putting them to his top expectantly, she bit her lip, understanding he wanted her to take it off. Swallowing hard, she slowly started to unbutton the shirt, her heart pounding wildly. She’d never really seen him without a top on after all this time. He’d seen her, that night of the party he’d been more than accommodating, but it’d all been about her.

What he’d failed to realize then was that seeing him would’ve been for her benefit as well, just as it would be now. She didn’t know if he’d get any enjoyment from it, but she was sure she would. She reached the bottom and hesitated a moment before bringing her hands up and between the folds of the soft fabric, her fingers brushing his skin as she pushed the top back to reveal a six-pack and tattoos that were peppered around his broad chest and upper body.

Her eyes widened, whatever she’d been expecting, it hadn’t been this…this blatant display of sexuality. She knew he was strong, but his stature had thrown her off.

“Whoa,” she whispered and without her realizing, her hands came up to caress his chest boldly.

His skin was warm and soft to the touch and she drew her hand up over the well-defined muscles, taking an unintentional step forward and then another, sliding her other hand up as well, running it over his shoulder and back down. She couldn’t stop touching him as her eyes flickered to his to find him watching her intently, black swirling in them

She came to her senses then, realizing she was practically mauling the poor man as if he were a piece of meat, and tore her hands away, taking a few hasty steps back, looking down in embarrassment.

“I-I’m…s-sor…”

She was stopped when he reached out, taking her hands and placing them back on his chest. Her gaze flew back to his and he pulled her back to him.

“Don’t stop,” he said softly.

Her eyes widened.

“I know that…that…this is for you aein but…” he sighed softly, “But please…don’t stop ok?”

Swallowing hard, she looked back down at his chest, licking at her now dry lips.

“You can do whatever you want to me, anything.”

Looking back up at him in confusion, he continued to stare at her.

“Oh…Oh! Well…I’m not into kinky stuff and all that so you don’t have to worry.”

“It would be ok if you were.”

Frowning, she shook her head, “No it wouldn’t, not my style.”

“You’re more of a hands-on kinda woman huh?” He chuckled suddenly.

She could feel her face burning again as she looked down and he continued to laugh softly.

“To be honest…” He started.

Lifting her head, she looked back up at him.

“I like your hands on me,” he whispered.

A shy smile spread over her lips, “Really?”

“Mmm,” he murmured, leaning in to nuzzle at her neck.

Carefully, she slid her hands up, gripping at his shoulders a bit.

“You can do whatever you want…touch me however you’d like, nothing is off limits,” he said softly in her ear.

Still, she hesitated, not sure if she could be so bold.

“You can do it aein, touch me, feel me,” he murmured as he drew his tongue over her tattoo.

Moaning softly, she took a step closer, sliding her hands down his broad back. He was so warm and solid, his heat surrounded her, making her feel protected and comforted. Realizing this was her chance, her chance to be with him in the most primal way possible and to have him all to herself, she knew she couldn’t hold back, couldn’t afford to be cautious and scared. She wanted to make this something she would remember, even if…

Pushing the thought away, she lifted her head and he did the same, looking down at her, his eyes a light shade of black. Leaning in, she kissed him deeply as she brought her hands back up and then down his chest again, sliding one arm around his waist, her hand running over his ass gently as the other came around, stopping for just a moment before she took his length in her hand.

He shuddered, his eyes starting to flutter closed.

“A-aein…”

Suddenly feeling like she could do something for him for a change, she started to stroke him gently and a small whimper escaped his lips. Leaning in, she pressed her lips to his neck, starting to suck gently as she continued to stroke him. His hand came up, his fingers tangling themselves in her hair. Deciding to mark him the way he’d marked her, she sucked harder on his skin, starting to stroke him harder and harder as well.

A soft grunt escaped his lips, “A-aein…”

Biting down on his skin, she sucked harder, tightening her grip on his now hardened length, starting to tug a bit he moaned loudly and it encouraged her more.

“I-I’m…I’m gonna…” He panted, his hand in her hair fisting up a bit.

The words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them before she had the chance to think about what she was saying.

“Give it to me,” she whispered as she lifted her head, her lips right by his ear.

He whimpered something she couldn’t make out in Korean and then she felt his body tense hard as he leaned into her a bit, a strangled groan escaped him and she held his body tight to hers, his stomach pressed flush against hers, the muscles contracting and releasing rapidly. A few seconds later his body relaxed and his hand in her hair fell and he pulled away a bit.

Fearing she’d done something wrong, she carefully pulled away, bringing her gaze cautiously to his, no black swirled in his eyes, he simply stared at her, in awe and something else instead in that look.

“Sh-should I not have done…I just wanted to do something for…”

Ravi stared at her, giving her a wistful, almost sad smile before leaning in to kiss her gently. Suddenly his hands were on her legs again and quickly he lifted them up, causing her to abruptly fall back to the bed. The sudden drop startled her, causing a small cry of fear to escape as she tore her lips from his. The next thing she knew, she was on her back and he was looking down at her.

“Now…now I will finally taste you the way I should have that night,” he said mysteriously.

He pushed her legs up on the mattress and moved forward, his face right at her center.

She lifted her head, looking down at him, “Rav-”

She was silenced when she felt his lips on her, brushing over her folds lightly. A startled gasp escaped her as her head fell back to the mattress. He moved in closer, bringing his hands up her legs and draping them over his shoulders before grasping at her hips and pulling them up close to his face. Snaking one arm around her waist, he pulled back the skin covering her clit, exposing it to him.

Before she could protest, his lips attacked the nub, sucking it into his mouth quickly and she let out a small shout. She brought her hands up through his hair, pulling his head closer to her, whimpering softly. It felt so good, so incredibly good, she didn’t want him to stop.

He growled softly, sucking hard on the hardened flesh before releasing it and moving down, sliding his tongue up and down through her folds, lapping up the moisture that started to pool. Her breathing grew heavy and she tugged on his hair, wanting more, wanting him, but not wanting him to stop what he was doing as well.

Ravi pulled away, “You taste so good aein, even better than I imagined,” he murmured, his voice even lower than usual. “You are so much better than my fantasies.”

“Y-you…fantasized about…m-me?”

He smirked, “You have no idea.”

She stared up at the ceiling, wanting more, needing him.

“Wonsik…”

She felt him still and come up a bit, looking down at her.

“Did I say somethi…”

She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him down to her, kissing him desperately, she just wanted to feel him against her, feel his warmth, his protection. He slid his arms around her, never breaking the kiss as he pulled her up so they were on their knees.

She continued to attack his lips, unable to get enough of him. She felt his hand in between them and then suddenly, he slipped back into her and she tore her lips away, letting out a shaky breath. His hands gripped her hips, moving them back and forth, his length sliding in and out of her slowly.

He looked into her eyes intently, “You feel so good aein.”

She brought her hands up, gripping at his shoulders for a moment before sliding down his body and wrapping around, gripping at his tight ass, feeling his muscles as he moved. Leaning in, he fastened his mouth on her tattoo, sucking gently as he rubbed at it with his tongue. She let her head fall back, giving him further access as he started to move her hips harder and faster against his. The moan started at the back of her throat, growing louder and louder, louder than ever. Her reserve didn’t hold her this time, she couldn’t contain it as it grew, higher and higher pitched.

Wonsik lifted his mouth from her neck, “Let me hear you aein…louder…”

He roughly pushed her hips against his and she felt the orgasm starting to take over as she started to pour over him heavily. Her hands came up, gripping almost desperately at his back as her body started to tense around his hardened cock.

“P-please…please h-hold me…hold me,” she whimpered, unable to stop herself.

His hands left her waist and came up around her, holding her tight to his body as her orgasm hit, her loud cry reverberating throughout the room. She brought her head down, burying her face in his neck as her body tightened and released around him frantically, flooding him.

The next thing she knew, she was falling, she could barely comprehend as her body continued to recover from the intense orgasm. She rested on him heavily, panting hard as he rolled them over so they were on their sides. She couldn’t bring herself to pull away and look at him, not yet, she just wanted to savor the moment of being in his arms, connected in the most basic way possible.

Wonsik slid his hand down and she felt the loss immediately, she barely stifled a sigh. His hand traveled down her leg, hiking it up and over his hip, before sliding back up, gently caressing her thigh before coming back up, running over her back lightly. She felt his lips on her shoulder gently, rubbing and brushing. Slowly she opened her eyes as she felt his hands roam over her body gently, touching and caressing her.

His hand came around, rubbing at her stomach before sliding a finger down between her folds, brushing over her still-sensitive clit before rubbing it gently.

“Your body feels so good, you’re so warm, so soft, so…beautiful,” Wonsik whispered in her ear.

She bit her lip, her body somehow managing to react once again, not only to his touch on her, but to his words as well.

“You’re so caring, so kind, I don’t know how you’re real and I don’t know how some man hasn’t snatched you up, hasn’t claimed you as his. I would aein, if I could, I would make you mine and I would keep you,” he said softly as he slipped his finger from her folds.

The tears streamed down her cheeks, landing on his skin, she was helpless to stop them, too stunned to do anything. Her body still reacting to his ministrations, starting to tense a bit as his hips started to move against hers again. He brought his hand down, hiking her leg up higher on his hip, opening her more to his length.

“I would make you mine, so no one would ever question who you belong to, so no one would ever wonder if you were wanted or needed…because I would want you, I would need you so bad aein, more than you could possibly ever dream. I would do that for you,” he panted as he started to pick up speed, his voice dropping an octave lower than usual.

“W-Wonsik…” she whimpered, closing her eyes, the tears continuing to stream down.

“I would…b-build a life…with you, marry you…have a…family…aein,” he whimpered, holding her tighter as his hips continued to move against hers steadily.

He pulled away and she managed to bring herself to bring her gaze to his as he stared at her, his eyes, while swirling in black, were also wet with unshed tears.

“If you remember nothing else aein, remember these words. If I ever get out of this, I will find you, I will find you and I will do all that I promised you. I will make you mine, I will take you. Remember my words and wait. Wait for me aein, wait, please…I will come for you,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead to hers.

Her orgasm hit, just as gently as his words and she leaned in, pressing her lips to his, she felt his body tense and then spill inside her and she pressed her hips tight to his, but nothing was as important just then as his words to her, his arms around her and his promise.

She would remember.

~~~

A few hours later they lay in bed, her head on his chest and his arm around her. Their hunger for each other was sated for the moment, but it’d been a long and fulfilling night. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d enjoyed sex so much. Ravi had been insatiable; his stamina was insane. He kept going, never grew tired, never winded, just continued to pleasure her. Now in the early hours of the morning, she was struggling to stay awake and wishing she had the energy to go again, but she could barely move.

Her body ached in the best way, she was entirely spent, but somehow, it wasn’t enough. He was talented with his hands, his tongue…his body. While she’d loved having him inside her, the best part was being in his arms, which brought her the most joy. It seemed to her that it must be what it felt like to feel like you belonged to someone, to feel comforted and protected, something she’d never experienced before in her life, he’d given that to her.

“Aein, would you do me the honor of granting me a favor?”

Slowly she closed and opened her eyes, “Mmm, if I can I will do my best.”

“I would like for you to try to find your birth parents and family,” he said softly after a moment.

She stilled for a second before looking up at him.

“It is selfish of me and I’m not supposed to be asking as I’m nothing but a noye, but…I would love nothing more for you than to find your family. I do not want you to be alone, I want you to have someone. I want you to fill that empty spot, I want you to be whole again,” Ravi announced quietly.

Biting her lip in fear, she looked down, her gaze resting on his chest.

“I know you’re scared aein, I see that. I’m by no means forcing you, it is merely a favor, you do not have to do it, you owe me nothing. If I may though, wouldn’t it be nice if you found them? Wouldn’t it be nice to be with your family, to find your roots? I know it’s scary and I know you’re afraid of being rejected, we are close enough now that I can feel your apprehension, and understand your emotions. While I can’t say that I know how it feels, I do know how I would feel if I didn’t have my dongsaeng around, if I lost her. I am without her now and I would do anything to be with her again, my parents…everyone. If there is a chance that you have siblings…other family, that means that there is a chance, even a small one…that they’re missing you as well. Maybe they’re waiting for you to find them,” Ravi finished, running his hand up and down her back gently.

She brought her hand up to wipe at her eyes before resting it on his chest. She was quiet for a long while and she could literally feel the tension in Ravi’s body. Finally, he cleared his throat, letting out a breath.

“Mianhae aein, I did not mean to upset you, please forgive your noye.”

Shaking her head, she looked up at him, “Didn’t I tell you never to call yourself that in front of me? You are not my noye.”

“Mianhae,” he said again, sadness in his eyes.

She gave him a small smile, “I’ll try ok? I don’t know how it will go but…I will try Ravi, for you.”

He shook his head, “Ani, not for me aein, for you. I don’t want you to be alone anymore when I leave…” he stopped, looking away suddenly.

Looking down, tears welled up again and she blinked fiercely, trying to keep them at bay.

“When I leave,” he started again, “You will be alone. I won’t be able to rest, I won’t be able to function if I have to think of you alone. I have to know you want more for yourself, I have to know that this time, above others, you care enough about your own happiness to try to go out and grab it.”

Nodding, she wiped at her eyes and she felt him looking at her again and she lifted her head to look back up at him, “I will try Ravi, I promise, I’ll try.”

He stared at her a moment before giving her a nod, “Ok then, now it’s time to sleep.”

She shook her head, “I don’t…I don’t want to,” she said, yawning suddenly, a rush of sleepiness coming over her suddenly.

Ravi continued to watch her intently, “You must sleep aein, it’s time for rest.”

“Mmm…ok, but…”

“But what?” Ravi asked as he pulled the covers up over them.

“I won’t ever really...mmm…be alone, even when you’re gone you know?” She said sleepily, her eyes starting to grow heavier and heavier.

“Oh? Why’s that aein?”

“Because even though you won’t be with me, you’ll always be inside me, inside my heart. You’re my home…so long as I have my home, I won’t ever be…alone,” she whispered, the words pouring from her unfiltered as she slowly drifted off.

“You…are my home.”

~~~

Ravi stared down at her, the tears steadily streaming down his cheeks. He tried to muffle his sobs the best he could, but it was hard. No one had ever called him their home before…ever. He wanted to be that for her, needed to be. It was cruel, his days with her were now numbered, everything had changed and he was terrified.

He couldn’t imagine life without her, without her smile, her touch. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to go on after this and have another jeongbu when his heart now belonged to this one?

Sliding down further in the bed, he turned to face her, sliding his arm along her back and cuddling close to her. How could he move on without her?

“Aein,” he said, his voice just barely above a whisper, his heart breaking.

“I love you.”

Chapter Text

The next evening, she made her way into her apartment, a smile on her lips. She’d been smiling non-stop since she woke up that morning, she and Ravi had cuddled a bit before she forced herself to get up and get ready for work. She refused to think of the inevitable, she wasn’t going to let anything ruin the high she was on, nothing. She promised she would take advantage of the wonderful man she had with her now. She would hug him and smile with him more, taking the time to learn even more about him. The day seemed to drag, she couldn’t wait to get back to him, hoping maybe for a small repeat performance of the night before, if he was willing that is.

Giggling, she punched in the code and opened the door, looking up to see Ravi waiting, a smile on his lips.

“Welcome home aein,” he grinned.

Quickly she kicked her shoes off and let her purse drop to the floor as she shrugged out of her coat before hurrying over to Ravi, flinging herself into his arms. A low chuckle emanated from him as he caught her, hugging her tightly.

“I missed you while I was at work,” she said, her face buried in his neck.

“Aww aein, I missed you more.”

She shook her head, “Not possible.”

“Says who?”

“Me!” She giggled, pulling away to kiss him deeply suddenly.

Ravi moaned softly, tightening his hold on her even more. He walked them back, further into the living room.

She pulled away, panting a bit, “Let’s…let’s go to bed.”

His eyes widened, “Really? You haven’t even eaten yet,” he chuckled.

“I know but I can’t wait,” she smiled.

“You’re gonna need the energy though, are you sure you shouldn’t have a bite to eat first?”

She bit her lip, he did have a point, it wasn’t as if he needed to worry, but if she wanted to really enjoy every moment with him, she did need to keep her strength up.

“Fiiineee…”

Ravi laughed, “Ok then, I have everything set up for dinner, you get changed and come back out and I’ll start cooking and then after we can…help you to relax,” he winked.

She nodded, leaning back in to give him a quick peck before hurrying down the hall to her room, she could hear him head into the kitchen, starting to prepare their dinner. Once inside, she was surrounded by that scent of his she’d grown to love so much, it’d gotten stronger, and heavier since last night, and that made her happy. He’d explained that since they’d had sex and the consummation of their contract had taken place, the scent increased to show their bond had strengthened and while the scent was throughout the apartment, it was the strongest around him and in the room now. She loved it, made it feel like he was around her more, she wanted to do everything in her bedroom now, and she wondered if she should ask him if he’d consider eating dinner in there, then they could get right to it after.

Laughing at the thought, she changed into a baggy t-shirt and nothing else, deciding to make easy access for him after. Yup, dinner in bed was what was going to happen, she knew he’d love the idea, he was usually up for anything and this wasn’t too out there of a request. Flipping the light off in the room, she hurried out and down the hall to the kitchen, noticing all sounds had stopped.

“Ravi? Look I was thinking, what if we just eat in…” She stopped when she hit the kitchen, her heart falling to her feet.

There stood Ravi, back in that same white suit he was in when he’d come to her months ago. He turned to look at her, giving her a sad smile, and stared at him in fear.

“It is time jeongbu,” he said softly.

“T-time for…?”

He said nothing, just continued to watch her gently.

“B-but dinner, we didn’t get a chance to eat and…we only just last night and…you can’t…we still have to eat…dinner,” she whispered, her eyes starting to well up.

Ravi slowly made his way over to her, reaching out to take her hands, “It is time for me to go jeongbu.”

She shook her head, panic starting to take over as his words sunk in.

“It is a good thing in some ways, it means…you don’t need me anymore. You can go on without me, that’s good,” he tried to explain.

“No…” she whispered again.

“You know what you need to do, I know you’re strong enough to do so now, deep down, you know you are too. It will be hard, but I’ll be with you every step of the way, in your heart, I’ll be right there I promise,” Ravi finished before letting go of her hands and taking a few steps back into the center of the room.

“No, I’m not…ready yet…Ravi…”

He held out his hand, palm up, “We have fulfilled the terms of our contract,” he said suddenly, the contract she’d signed months ago hovering over it. It shimmered for a moment before going up in a puff of black smoke. His necklace which had once been black, faded, replaced again by that orange choker.

“It has been my pleasure to serve you as my jeongbu,” he stated formally, bowing.

She watched as black smoke started to swirl around him and he started to fade and she realized she was losing the love of her life, right in front of her eyes.

She hurried over to him, “Wonsik, wait ok, just wait. I’m not ready for this, I’m not ready to be alone again, please…”

He shook his head, tears welling up in her eyes as he took her hands in his as he grew more and more transparent, “You will be fine. Go and find your family, find the woman who helped you all those years ago…find them.”

“I’m not ready to be alone again…I don’t want to be alone anymore, please! I need you…can’t you just…just…I want you with me Wonsik…” she cried out, tears streaming heavily down her cheeks, as she reached out, grabbing at his wrists over his bracelets.

“Mianhae, I’m so…sorry…” he whispered, his voice wispy and breathless.

“No…I love you…” she whimpered.

There was a sound of metal cracking, but it was too late, he was already gone.

~~~

She stared blankly into the empty space in front of her for a moment before looking around. The bracelets she’d worn since he’d arrived, grew ice cold suddenly and cracked, falling from her wrists, landing on the floor with a thump before disintegrating into the air. The scent that always surrounded him and lingered throughout the apartment had disappeared suddenly as if it’d never been. Looking down, she saw his notebook and she snatched it up, wrapping her arms around it and pressing it tight to her chest as she slumped down on the floor where she’d been standing.

She would remember, she would force herself and she would remember, she would. Gripping the book tight to her chest, she winced as there was a searing pain on her neck right where her tattoo was. The pain was blinding, but she continued to hold the notebook, she would remember, she wouldn’t forget, she wouldn’t.

The pain was overwhelming, and she closed her eyes as a few more tears fell, letting her head drop to her chest, a rush of dizziness consuming her, her head pounding and then just as suddenly, it stopped. She slowly lifted her head and looked around, why was she sitting on the floor in the middle of the room?

She shook her head and stood, realizing she clutched something in her arms. She pulled it away and looked to see a notebook. Flipping through it, she realized it was someone else’s, definitely not her handwriting. Maybe it was someone she helped out, but why did she have it? Setting it down on the coffee table she decided she’d bring it to work tomorrow and see if she could find out whose it was.

Turning, she headed towards the kitchen and then stopped, why did she feel so strange? It felt like she was forgetting something, what was it? She turned her head and looked around the empty room and frowned, she couldn’t shake the sense that something was missing. The confusion furthered when she felt wetness in her eyes, she brought her hand up to wipe to find tears. Was she crying?

Why?

Shaking her head in confusion, she headed into the kitchen to make her dinner.

Three Months Later

She looked up at the building in fear, this was it, this was the moment she waited her whole life for. Looking down at the paper for the hundredth time to confirm once again that she had the right address. She wasn’t quite sure how she’d ended up here, all she could remember was a promise, a promise to someone that she would try.

Ever since that night in her apartment, her life had been strange. She kept thinking about a promise she’d made, but she didn’t remember to who, just that she’d attempt to find her birth parents, her family, and the woman who’d helped her when she’d been homeless. She’d been terrified at first, but she started and managed to find a few leads. It’d been weird, usually, it was her helping someone else find their parents, find their lives, but now it’d been her and it was just odd. Still and all, all the while she’d been looking, she never really felt like she was looking alone, she felt as if someone was there encouraging her, especially when she’d wanted to give up after one dead end after another. There was a voice, a low deep voice telling her not to give up, not to let herself be alone any longer and so, she kept going.

Funny thing that voice, she heard it all the time, throughout the corners of her apartment, a low deep voice, a laugh that she found herself laughing at randomly without context. While she was alone in her apartment like she’d always been, somehow she didn’t feel as alone as she used to, it didn’t make sense, there was no one there with her, but she felt as if there were someone there.

Sometimes at night, she’d lay in bed and she’d cry, just cry for someone that she couldn’t seem to grasp. It was those nights when she did feel alone, when she felt so empty inside, so desperate for the arms that she’d felt around her somehow, someway.

The notebook that had suddenly appeared, she kept in her bag all the time, kept around her in her apartment, she couldn’t let it out of her sight for some reason, it was imperative she find its owner, but she also couldn’t seem to part from it. She never showed it to anyone, while she didn’t know who the owner of it was, she did know whose it wasn’t, and after one day of bringing it to work, she knew it didn’t belong to anyone she worked with or was working with.

Even though she knew she probably shouldn’t, she’d read it cover to cover several times, some of the words sounding strangely familiar to her for some unknown reason, it was infuriating. It was as if her heart knew it, but she couldn’t remember, it was maddening.

All that said, she also found a hole in her heart, there’d always been one for her family, but this was different. A longing, an ache for someone that she couldn’t place. She kept getting visions of a white suit, brown eyes, and of those arms she’d found solace and protection in, but she just couldn’t remember the face, the name. When she tried too hard to remember, she’d get a blinding headache and while she could take pain, it was so intense she’d almost passed out a few times. It was getting to the point though that she almost didn’t care, she wanted to remember, needed to remember. She didn’t know how, but she could tell that it was important that she remember, if it wasn’t important, she wouldn’t have a hard time remembering right?

So now here she was, back home after so many years, looking up at the building that would hopefully lead her to who she believed could possibly be her biological Grandmother. She had also managed to track down what she thought was the address of the location of the workplace of the woman who helped her through some stroke of luck. She vowed that no matter how it turned out, once she got things settled with her family, hopefully, she’d look for her after.

Taking a calming breath, armed with the paperwork she’d accumulated as proof and a copy of her birth certificate she’d managed to procure, she started up the stairs to the building, finding the name of the woman she was looking for and pressed the buzzer, and waited. The nervousness she’d felt the entire flight here back to the US and the night in the hotel and the Lyft ride here, grew to a fevered pitch.

What if it was her? What if she didn’t want to be found? What if she didn’t know about her? Worse off, what if she knew and didn’t want anything to do with her? Tears started to well up, this was a bad idea, she couldn’t take the rejection, couldn’t take being left behind again. Deciding she couldn’t do this, she was ok with being alone, she went to turn, when that voice came up again as it always did.

“I do not want you to be alone, I want you to have someone. I want you to fill that empty spot, I want you to be whole again”

She shook her head, trying to stop the voice, but she couldn’t.

“If there is a chance that you have siblings…other family, that means that there is a chance, even a small one…that they’re missing you as well. Maybe they’re waiting for you to find them.”

Just then the door opened, and she turned back, her body trembling almost violently as the woman behind the door appeared in front of her and her eyes widened in shock of recognition.

“Hello? Can I help…oh!”

She stared at her, she knew this woman.

“Oh my god, I know you! It’s you, I remember you!”

She remembered her too, but how could this be? She looked back down at the address, she didn’t mix up the addresses, but this was supposed to be her Grandmother, not…

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again!” The woman announced, reaching out to take her hand.

She clutched her hand and looked back up at her, drinking her in.

“Look at you! You look as if you’ve done well for yourself. Please, come in, come in!” The woman said, pulling her into her apartment.

The woman lead her further in and over to the couch, motioning for her to sit.

“I can’t believe this, I can’t believe you found me. The last time I saw you, you were moving into the apartment you got for yourself, tell me, how did that work out?” The woman smiled, clutching both of her hands in hers now.

She could barely speak, she was overwhelmed, this woman…this was the woman who’d helped her years ago, this woman was also…her Grandmother? Could it be?

“I-it worked out…well.”

“And how are you, sweetie? Seriously? I thought about you often, wondering how things were going, if you were well if you were safe. I’m so sorry we lost touch. After you left, I had move suddenly and I didn’t have a way to find you, I always hoped you’d be able to find me somehow and here you are, I’m so glad to see you’re happy and healthy.”

She looked back up at her, she’d thought of her, all this time and someone had actually thought of her. Lowering her gaze, she swallowed hard, trying to fight back tears.

“I’m better, much better since you last saw me. I’ve been living in South Korea and I have a job helping young people find their way after getting out of orphanages and sometimes helping them find their…families.”

“Have you now? That’s amazing sweetie, wow, I’m so proud of you.”

Her head snapped up, watching her in shock.

“Of course I am. I don’t know your backstory, but to find you sleeping on a bench, with nothing to eat, no one to give you a chance, and now this…how could I not be proud of you? To think I had a small part in helping you to succeed…well…I’m glad we met,” the woman smiled brightly, caressing her hand.

The tears that had welled up spilled over and down her cheeks and the woman frowned, reaching out to wipe at them

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Did I say something wro…oh honey what? Why are you crying?” The woman said softly, moving closer to her on the couch, wrapping an arm around her.

She didn’t know how to tell her, didn’t know what she’d say when she did. What if she lost what she’d just gained? What if she didn’t want her?

“You’re shaking sweetie, my goodness what is wrong? You’re scaring me, please, tell me what’s wrong?” The woman said, taking both hands in hers. “Ok, calm down, deep breaths, deep breaths…good.”

She bit her lip, not sure of how to say it. She reached into her purse, pulling out the papers, her hands shaking so badly she could barely hold on to them.

“Th-the reason I-I’m here was because…because…I was…put up for adoption as a baby. I was put into an orphanage. I don’t…don’t know who m-my parents are. I was in and out of foster homes, had several failed…adoptions and I stayed in the orphanage until I turned eighteen and then I was let out. After a few months, I ended up homeless, living on the streets of NY until…you found me,” she explained, her voice weak and shaky. The shaking of her body increased, and she felt lightheaded as she continued.

“After all this time…someone convinced me I should try to see if I could find my birth parents, see if I have family and I did and I think…I have this address that I was able to locate after getting my birth certificate and…and…I’m not sure but…I came here because I think…I think…

She stopped and the woman next to her had gone absolutely still except for her hands which had also started to shake.

Slowly she lifted her head to look at the woman who she never noticed before, but who looked to somehow resemble her.

“I th-think y-you may be…m-my G-Grandm-mother…I…” she said brokenly, her voice fading.

The woman’s face lost all color and she felt her heart drop, she was upset, probably even angry. This was a mistake, she knew that now, knew she was wrong in doing this.

“I-I’m s-sorry, I’m s-so s-sorry I didn’t mean to make you ma…”

She was cut off as she was pulled into a bone-crushing hug.

“I-I’ve finally found you!” The woman cried.

Her eyes widened in shock as the woman pulled away to look at her, tears streaming heavily down her face.

“Do you know how long we’ve been looking for you? Oh my god, it’s really you!” The woman moaned, pulling her back into her arms, hugging her hard. “My sweet baby.”

She was too stunned to move, she just sat there, still. The woman pulled away, looking at her again, wiping at her eyes.

“I’m so sorry you had such a bad childhood, I’m…” she shook her head. “I would’ve, but your parents couldn’t…they…they gave you up before I could…and I was sick at the time, I couldn’t take care of you. They were…” she sighed looking at her.

“M-my parents?”

Her Grandmother gave her a sad smile, “Yes, my daughter, your Mother wanted you, you need to know that. I think though, I’ll leave that for your Father to tell you.”

Her head was spinning.

“I promised myself after I got better that I would make up for it somehow so when I saw you, I knew that was my moment to help someone else the way I would’ve with you, and now…”

She looked down at the paper, she’d really found her Grandmother.

“Your Father lives just a few blocks away as well as your Brother and Sister.”

She looked back up, “I have siblings.”

Her Grandmother smiled a bit, “Your Brother is the oldest followed by your Sister, you are the baby of the family.”

Swallowing hard, she took a deep breath.

“Are you ready to meet them?”

Her eyes widened.

“I can arrange for it if you’re ready,” her Grandmother said.

She hadn’t been able to find anyone else and had hoped if all went well, her Grandmother would be able to help her locate them, but she already knew.

“Really?”

“Yes, of course, I know they want to meet you. We’ve been trying for years but have had no luck.”

“O-ok.”

“I will get in touch with them and set it up for tomorrow, is that too soon or...?”

“No, that’s…I don’t know if I can wait any longer,” she admitted.

Her Grandmother smiled, “Ok then, I will make it happen.”

~~~

The next day she was back outside that building once again, this time she was going to meet her parents and siblings. She couldn’t believe it, all of last night had been a daze. She’d gone back to her hotel room and thought about what’d happened and she still couldn’t believe it, it still felt as if it were a dream. She couldn’t help but be nervous, what if her parents saw her and decided they didn’t want anything to do with her? What if they changed their minds?

Sighing, she put a hand to her chest, finding the urge to for some reason. She wished she had someone to share her excitement with, someone she could confide in, but she’d always been alone up until now. Frowning, she rubbed at her chest again, right over her heart, it didn’t seem right to say that for some reason, though it’d been true, saying now seemed wrong.

Taking a fortifying breath, she made her way up the steps and rang the bell, her heart pounding violently. Just behind that door were her parents and siblings, the fear she had came back anew. Her Grandmother was one thing, but her parents…siblings, that was something else entirely.

The door opened and she was greeted by her Grandmother who welcomed her in excitedly.

“Relax honey, it’s gonna be fine, they’re excited and anxious to see you.”

“Really? Are you sure?” She asked meekly.

“I promise, you go on ahead, right where we were yesterday.”

She nodded and turned, starting towards the room, her body shaking so hard her knees threatened to buckle. She cleared the entryway and saw a man and woman slightly older than her talking, the woman kept wringing her hands together nervously and the man patted her shoulder. As if sensing another presence in the room, they both turned and their eyes met.

She stopped moving and stilled, it was odd after all these years to look into the eyes of someone who actually looked similar to her, to see someone with her features looking back at her.

“H-hi…” she managed to get out.

The woman barreled towards her, pulling her into her arms, hugging her tightly and somehow, it felt comfortable. She pulled away and looked into the eyes of her sister and she smiled, her sister. She turned to find a young man standing next to her, tears streaming down his cheeks as he pulled her into his arms protectively, crushing her against him. Her sister came over, hugging them both. They pulled away and her Brother and Sister stepped back and then another man, this one much older, stood before her and immediately it was as if her mind, her body…her heart knew exactly who he was though she’d never laid eyes on him before.

She bit her lip and looked down, she wiped at her eyes, too embarrassed for him to see her crying for some reason. He came close and a warmth surrounded her and she felt fingers under her chin lift her head and she looked into the eyes of her Father as tears spilled from them and felt like somehow, she’d seen them before.

“D-Dad…” she whimpered.

Suddenly she was in his arms and it felt as if she’d never been out of them. There was an instant connection, an instant sense of familiarity and then she was sobbing, harder than she’d ever cried in her life. Her body went limp against his and he held her tighter, taking her weight against his body and she cried harder and harder. She gave it all to him, all her heartache, all her pain and loneliness and despair, she gave it to him and he took it from her and it was as if a weight had been lifted and she finally felt free.

Chapter Text

A month later she was back in Korea, packing her stuff up, preparing to head back to the US permanently. Since she’d been reunited with her family, she’d decided to go back home to live. She’d managed to find an apartment close to her Sister and even though she’d offered for her to live with her, she wasn’t quite ready for that. They’d spent the month getting to know each other, it’d been enlightening and painful at the same time. She’d learned that her Mom had passed away a year ago from a massive and unexpected heart attack but that she’d never stopped thinking about her.

She’d learned that while her parents had wanted to keep her, they couldn’t afford her. She’d been a surprise and the young couple was already barely supporting their two older children and didn’t want her to suffer. So, they’d put her up for adoption, hoping she’d have a better life, her Father had been devastated when he’d learned of her past and had apologized profusely. He explained that her Brother and Sister always knew about her and they celebrated each one of her birthdays, hung a stocking out for her every Christmas, and always set a place for her at the table, her parents and her family never forgot her, and they had hoped, wished that one day she’d find them since their attempts had been fruitless. They never gave up searching for her though, and now there she was.

She thanked him for giving her life and told him everything happened for a reason. Her Father gave her a picture of her with her Mom taken the day she was born, and she looked at it every day. It was plain to see the love in her eyes and she no longer doubted if she was loved or wanted, she knew better now. They all had a long way to go, a lot of time to make up for and she would enjoy getting to know them.

Closing up the last box, she set it down on the floor just as one of her now ex-co-workers came in.

“Aww you’re really leaving huh?”

She smiled, “Yeah, for now. I may be back in the future but, I have a lot to catch up on at home with my family and so, I need to do that first. I managed to get a transfer, so I have a job waiting for me when I get there.”

“Well, good luck, and have a safe flight. Oh hey, there’s been a guy that’s been looking for you.”

Stilling, she turned her head to look at her, “Huh? A guy?”

“Yeah, for the last two weeks, this guy has been coming by once daily looking for you. He never leaves his name, but he said he’ll come back and he always does.”

She frowned, “Is it someone I worked with?”

“No, he doesn’t look familiar, he’s slightly older and he’s very very handsome,” the woman sighed.

Blinking, she looked down at her box, a man looking for her? She couldn’t understand who would be looking for her besides one of the young men she’d helped in the past. Maybe she’d see him before she left today.

“…Remember these words. If I ever get out of this, I will find you, I will find you and I will do all that I promised you. I will make you mine, I will take you. Remember my words and wait. Wait for me, wait, please…I will come for you…”

She shook her head at the sudden words that came floating back to her, she’d never heard them before, at least, she didn’t think she had.

“What time does he usually come by?”

“It varies, but he’s already been by today, so he should be here tomorrow.”

“Oh, my flight leaves tonight, that’s really too bad,” she tried to sound casual, but she couldn’t help that nagging feeling that this was important.

“Oh well, take care!”

She waved as the woman left and she grabbed another empty box, starting to fill that one as well, trying to forget about the man looking for her.

Three Months Later

She sat looking out the window, her head resting against the glass as she watched the rain falling gently to the ground.

She was miserable.

After finding her family and filling that empty space, she thought everything would fall into place, but it hadn’t. And while that empty space was filled, it wasn’t complete, something or someone rather, was missing, but she didn’t know who.

That feeling she felt when she lived in Korea, still existed and since she’d left, it’d only gotten worse. She had the love of her family after all these years and suddenly, it wasn’t enough. She cried more, more it seems than when she didn’t know her family. And she would cry at the stupidest things too, making dinner made her cry, when she’d flip through that notebook now she’d cry, her family would take her out bowling and she’d burst into tears. She couldn’t get a burger or make chicken breast without feeling like part of her was being ripped from her body, it just didn’t make sense.

Strangely, she found herself craving jjangmyeon for some reason, but the thought of that made her cry too, she just didn’t understand. She found a cd she’d packed away unknowingly and it with no name or anything. She’d played it and the voice sounded so familiar, but she didn’t know who it was or how she’d gotten it. She listened to it over and over, finding it oddly comforting. It only got weirder when she was unpacking her stuff and had come across the gown she’d worn to the company ball earlier in the year. She flat out started sobbing, her sister had come and held her for twenty minutes until she could calm down enough only to tell her she didn’t know why she was crying. Only that she remembered having someone with her, but she couldn’t make out the face of the man which then ended up causing one of those debilitating headaches since she tried hard to remember, desperate to see the face of the man who haunted her thoughts.

She felt a presence come up behind her and then a hand on her head, stroking her hair gently.

“What’s the matter baby?”

“I need to go back to Korea,” she announced suddenly, not even knowing she was going to say that until just then.

The hand on her hair stopped and she looked up.

“I’ll come back Dad, I promise.”

He looked down at her, “Can I ask why?”

She turned her head and continued to stare out the window, “I left something there.”

“Can’t you just have someone send it to you?”

She shook her head, “I don’t know what it is I’ve left.”

She could feel his confusion and she looked back up at him, “I know it sounds weird but…ever since I left, I felt like something was missing, like I left something…no, someone behind. I have to find out who, there’s this space in my heart, that’s empty. I thought finding you all would fill that and to some extent, you have but…this is different. This is not the empty space of family, it feels like…like…something else. I just can’t remember Dad, I keep trying but…I can’t. I know it’s important, I know it is and that’s why I’m so angry I can’t remember. I promised...I promised him I’d remember.”

“Him who baby?”

She shook her head, tears streaming down, “I don’t know.”

~~~

She set a few bowls down on the picnic table and started back in, making her way into the kitchen.

“You go out and enjoy yourself,” her Grandmother said, grabbing the pot off the stove and pouring the contents into the strainer in the sink.

“But I want to help!”

“This is your going away/welcome home party, you should be having fun.”

“That is one of the most contradictory sentences I’ve ever heard,” she laughed.

Her Father had decided to throw her a party to celebrate her being found and to wish her well on her search. She’d discovered while deciding what foods to have, that seed allergies ran in the family and that her Brother was also allergic to pine nuts and so she didn’t need to worry about any pesto or anything else with seeds being served. It was almost eerie to know she had something like that in common with her Sibling, eerie and kind of comforting to know she wasn’t alone in that regard either.

Her Grandmother turned to look at her, frowning a bit, “I feel like I’m losing you after I just go you back.”

“I will be back, I promise ok. As soon as I find this guy, I’ll be back. I just need to do this.”

Her Grandmother sighed and gave her a smile, “I know and I know you’ll be back, I’ll just miss you is all.”

She felt something in her heart warm and she smiled, “Thank you, I’ll miss you too.”

“Hey, there’s someone out there for you,” her Brother said suddenly, coming in from outside. “You expecting company from Korea?”

Turning, she looked at her Brother, “Company? No, no one.”

“It’s some guy, looks like he’s Asian. Ok, I’ll get rid of him then,” her Brother said, turning and starting out the screen door.

Asian? Could it be the guy from before? Looking around frantically, she saw the notebook she always had close by and grabbed it.

“Wait!!”

She hurried out after her Brother, stopping him with a hand on his arm, “Wait, let me see who it is first.”

“What if he’s some kinda pervert? I’m not gonna let my Sister just go with anyone,” her Brother frowned.

Chuckling, she shook her head, “It’ll be fine, I stay where you can see me alright?”

He stared at her a moment before nodding.

“Ok, I’ll be right back,” she said, giving him a wink before making her way across the lawn to the sidewalk.

She could feel her Brother’s eyes on her and she turned, giving him a wave before looking down the sidewalk where she saw a man a few feet away. Clutching the notebook to her chest suddenly, she made her way closer to him. The closer she got to him, the harder and harder her heart started to beat, as she suddenly broke out into a trot, trying for some reason to get closer to this stranger, her body propelling her forward of its own accord. She slowed as she got closer to him, his features starting to come into focus and she stopped abruptly as he stared at her intently.

“Hello,” he said suddenly, his voice low.

As soon as he spoke, her head started to ache, a wave of dizziness taking her.

She brought a hand to her head.

“Are you ok?” Came the worried voice.

She dropped her hand and looked up to see the man watching her closely worry in his eyes as he took a step closer to her. She didn’t know why he looked so familiar to her.

“Have we met before?”

He stilled something like pain flashing in his eyes before he looked down.

“Do I know you?”

He let out a breath and lifted his gaze to hers, her eyes widened when she saw the unshed tears pooling in his eyes.

“No, I guess you don’t. I am sorry to have bothered you,” he said and bowed.

Her heart started pounding again when she watched him turn, starting to walk away. For some reason, she knew she couldn’t let him go. Remembering the notebook in her hands, she started after him, the headache coming back suddenly, and she brought her hand to her head again.

“W-wait, please wait!”

The man stopped again, his back to her as she came up behind him.

“Is this…yours? I packed it with me and I can’t seem to find who it belongs to but I think that…” she stopped.

Slowly he turned his head and she held out the notebook and he turned to look at it, a small smile coming to his lips. Carefully he reached out and took the notebook from her, flipping through it.

“It is, it’s yours, isn’t it?”

He lifted his eyes to hers and nodded once.

“So then…how did I get it?”

He said nothing, just continued to stare at her with such aching tenderness.

“Please tell me, do I know you?”

Still, he said nothing, but reached out and took her hand and she could feel heat and tingles from the area he touched. He placed the notebook back into her hand.

“You keep it, I want you to have it.”

She looked down at the notebook and then back up at him.

“What’s your name?”

He hesitated a moment before responding, “Wonsik, but my friends call me Ravi. Goodbye aein,” he said softly, bowing again before turning and walking off.

The headache came back full force and she struggled against the pain, but she forced herself to remember. Remember the notebook and his name…

“Ravi…” she whispered.

Suddenly it was as if a dam had broken. All the thoughts came rushing back, their first meeting, going dress shopping, eating jjangmyeon, him staying with her at the hospital, bowling, the first time he touched her, when he’d held her in his arms when she confessed that no one had wanted her, the single night they’d spent together and then…the night he’d left and she’d forgotten.

It was Ravi, she remembered! She remembered everything and then his words came back to her again, only this time she remembered it all.

“I would…b-build a life…with you, marry you…have a…family…aein,” he whimpered, holding her tighter as his hips continued to move against hers steadily.

He pulled away and she managed to bring herself to bring her gaze to his as he stared at her, his eyes, while swirling in black, were also wet with unshed tears.

“If you remember nothing else aein, remember these words. If I ever get out of this, I will find you, I will find you and I will do all that I promised you. I will make you mine, I will take you. Remember my words and wait. Wait for me aein, wait, please…I will come for you,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead to hers.

“RAVI!” She cried and started off down the sidewalk to him at a dead run.

She saw him making his way into a cab he’d flagged down and it was as if everything slowed down, she needed him, she wanted him, she loved him. Only he could fill that empty spot because he was her home and her heart with him.

“Please wait…wait…RAVI!!” She screamed.

He stopped just as he was about to shut the door and poked his head out. He hurried out of the car when he saw her running towards him. The next thing she knew she flung herself into his arms, holding him tightly.

Her Brother who’d followed her the moment she went running after him, stopped when he saw her fling herself into the arms of the mysterious man.

She felt his body still in shock and she hugged him tighter, “I-I remember, I knew I’d remember. I remember you Ravi, you are my…my home, please don’t go again, I need you,” she whispered, pulling away to look at him. “I love you.”

“Aein? You remember?” He whispered, his hands coming up to cup her face as tears spilled down his cheeks.

Unable to hold back any longer, she leaned in, kissing him desperately. This was what she was missing, this was the empty spot in her heart, it was him.

She pulled away and looked at him, “Do you still mean what you told me that night? Will you keep your promise and be with me?”

Ravi smiled broadly, “Why do you think I’m here aein? I want you…no, I need you, I need to have you, to be with you. When you held my bracelets and said you loved me, you freed me, freed me to be with you. I, and everything about me fully belong to only you. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you if you’ll have me,” he whispered, resting his forehead against hers. “Please say you’ll have me aein.”

She closed her eyes, “Yes, I’ll have you Ravi,” she smiled.

They pulled away and she smiled up at him.

“Come and meet my family.”

His eyes widened, “You found them!”

“I did, thanks to you.”

Ravi stared at her in awe, shaking his head, tears still streaming down his cheeks, “I love you aein,” he whispered.

“I love you too Wonsik.”

He smiled, and she took his hand and lead him down the sidewalk and over to her family.

***

Rovix took the two sets of bracelets and wrapped them in black ribbon and set them on the shelf next to the other three sets, smiling, “Four down, two more to go.”

“Beyond the whip that made me surrender, you gaze a hole into me” - Chained Up, by VIXX English Lyrics from  Lyricstranslate.com