Archive of Our Own ^beta

Bernard huffed at his most recent memory as he marched up the driveway of his best friends’ house. Anyone nearby was sure to see a tiny cloud of frustration floating above those black waves of hair. The cause of his aggravation: a single incompetent epsilon. 

All throughout the day, Bernard had been subtly disrespected by his associates and subordinates. It’s not like he wasn’t used to the disrespect, being an alpha who didn’t exactly fit the criteria. However, today it had boiled up to a point that when he had finally felt that he had had enough, he snapped. All day for him had been a compilation of self righteous alphas and disobedient gammas, and he was getting exhausted. He had been walking to his helicopter when it happened. Stepping onto the elevator, he straightened himself up in front of the worker epsilon, still not letting go of the little bit of pride that hadn’t been beaten out of him yet. The epsilon looked at him suspiciously, and made a noise. Bernard and the epsilon stayed like that for a bit, with the elevator door open. Bernard announced his destination (“Top floor.”), and the epsilon still did not budge. When he yelled, the epsilon only stupidly pointed to a sign; ‘ Alpha elevator’. Bernard lost it. He took it upon himself to teach the epsilon a lesson (‘teaching the epsilon a lesson’ included yelling and calling for help out of defeat), and navigate his way to his best friend, Helmholtz’s house. 

So, meaningless to say, he was furious. 

The moment he stepped in front of the door, it swung open, and on the other side was a very handsome looking Helmholtz to greet him. 

///

Bernard sometimes, Helmoltz thought, quite literally never stopped talking. 

It had been almost three hours since he initially arrived, and in the duration of those three hours, they had made soma-infused drinks(which Bernard would most likely not drink), sat on the couch, and talked. Though, again, it was less of them talking and more Bernard ranting about what an amazing day he had had. Helmholtz had actually begun to wonder if Bernard had actually had a good day; he knows his friend, and knows that he hides things. Helmholtz isn’t entirely sure of the things Bernard hides, but he does know that he only comes over to brag about his achievements. One day it’s about how he was “personally given a raise by the D.H.C. himself!”; the next, it’s about how he had to fight off a horde of women the night before. It was never ending pride with him- and though he was happy that his friend had so much to be happy about, Helmholtz couldn’t help but ponder the validity of these scenarios. Nonetheless, he would listen to all of it…

“And I say, Helmholtz, the look on that epsilon’s face when I stepped into the elevator! He was just- stunned at how much of an alpha I am! Too much flattery for one man, to be honest..”

Helmholtz just nodded and took a long drink out of his glass, just as he had been doing for the last three hours.

Bernard sighed a heavy, shaky sigh, as if a ten thousand pound weight had just been lifted from his shoulders. 

Then they sat. They just sat there. In the silence. It became kind of awkward, and Helmholtz let the awkward silence linger, because he had figured out two things: that his hypothesis was right, Bernard was hiding something; and if they sat long enough in this uncomfortable atmosphere, Bernard would do something to reveal himself and his lies. Everyone had a tell, or something they do when they’re lying, and his friend was no different. He would just have to wait a little bit longer…

Bernard coughed. But this wasn’t the tell- it was what he did after that revealed himself. In an attempt to seem collected and calm, he took a tiny sip of his soma drink. Bernard never took soma when with Helmholtz, he had never felt the need to. 

This was when Helmholtz made his move.

“Bernard, my friend..I think you’re lying.” 

Bernard’s lips twitched into an uncomfortable smile, and he opened his mouth to speak. Helmholtz assumed that this is the part where he would start spewing out nonsense in an attempt to hold onto that last shred of dignity. Shitting out of his mouth, if you will. 

“What would even possess you to think that? Don’t you see the smile on my face- the enthusiasm in my voice? I clearly had a great day, Helmholtz, how could you even think such a thing-!”

Bernard rambled for about 5 minutes, all the while Helmholtz sat there looking very unamused. 

When he stopped to breathe (finally, for both of their sanities), he closed his mouth, and stared at Helmholtz, who looked like he might just stand up from the couch and leave his own house. Helmholtz wouldn’t give up that easily, though, no matter how annoying his dearest friend was. He sensed that the air was somewhat clear, and began to speak.

“I don’t mean to insult you, of course, however, I’ve noticed that you only ever come over to, and excuse me for saying this, brag about your accomplishments-”

“I’m not bragging-!” Bernard sputtered.

“Let me finish- it’s just that I don’t believe that you only ever have good days…you know what I mean-I’ve..I’ve seen the way some people treat you because you don’t fit the ‘alpha criteria’-”

Bernard’s face was one of horror.

“Now I obviously don’t mean to hurt you, Bernard, I just- It’s-” Helmholtz tried to save the situation before Bernard stormed out an emotional mess. “We’re friends. You should be able to talk to me about your day, whether good or bad, that’s all. I care about you.” He offered a diplomatic smile, and placed a hand on Bernard’s knee.

Bernard slowly looked down at Helmholtz’s hand, with his mouth agape. Then up to Helmholtz. Then down to his lap. Then back up to Helmholtz. 

Bernard made a pathetic sort of whimper sound- and started right back up again.

“You would never be able to comprehend the things they say about me, Holtz! The things they say to me- to my face !!” Bernard cried. Helmholtz immediately went to comfort his friend. He put his arm around his shoulder and patted his back a couple times. 

“There there, Bernard…” His friend dramatically sobbed into his shoulder. Bernard then shot up out of his arms.

“Seriously who do they all think they are? I’m Bernard fucking Marx damn it- I’m an alpha too!!”

Helmholtz nodded empathetically. 

“It’s so tiring Watson- and none of the girls will even look my way! What ever am I to do?”

Helmholtz offered a bit of soma to Bernard, (who refused) then took a sip.

“Maybe I should just blow the entire god damned place up!”

Helmholtz choked on his drink.

“That might be a bit..extreme…” Helmholtz put the drink down. “Honestly, Bernard, it’s-it’s fine. If people can’t appreciate you the way they should, then screw them. And you still have me, here, I don't think you’re an alpha failure!”

Bernard blinked, and then sighed a long sigh. 

“I’m sorry to unload on you like this, I’ve just been stressed, you know?” He ran a hand through his hair. “It just feels like it’ll never end- and nothing is helping! Except for talking to you, of course. I mean seriously…not even soma could help me at this point.”

Helmholtz thought for a sec. 

“Have you had any girls lately- oh em,, sorry-” Bernard scowled faintly. “I mean, have you done anything lately? Not with girls of course, but just- you know, by yourself?”

It was Bernard’s turn to think for a sec. When was the last time he fondled himself?

“Now that I think about it…not for a while.”

Helmholtz’s eyes lit up momentarily.

“How about we relieve our stress together, old friend?”

///

Bernard sat with his back to Helmholtz’s stomach, in between his legs. The position was somewhat emasculating for Bernard, but he figured that he had nothing else to lose. He had taken off everything except for his underwear, and Helmholtz kept his loose dress shirt and socks on. Helmholtz put a hand on Bernard’s hip and squeezed very lightly as he reached back and grabbed two tiny tablets of soma. When Bernard once again declined the offer to take the drugs, Helmholtz downed both of them. Bernard laid his head back against Helmholtz’s broad shoulder and watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed the two pills. How is it that everything Helmholtz did, he did it flawlessly? Bernard would never know. Truthfully, even though all the man did was take some soma, Bernard could feel himself getting more aroused by the second. 

Helmholtz placed his free hand on Bernard’s chin, and tilted it towards him. Bernard found it somewhat hard to look him in the eye. So he didn’t.

“Oh what’s wrong, Mr. Marx?” Helmholtz lowered his voice, as to not make Bernard feel as pitiful as he probably did in the moment. 

“Shouldn’t… I be the one doing this to you ?” 

Helmholtz blinked.

“I… feel like you need this more than I do, Bernard.” He kissed the tip of his nose, and Bernard made a face. “You need to relax, truly. You don’t have to worry about your status with me; it’s just us, after all.”

As much as Bernard didn’t want to admit it, he did relax, just a bit. Helmholtz rubbed circles into his side, his other hand moving from his chin and down to his chest, then to his inner thigh.

“I’ve heard many people talk about the supposed ‘flaws’ of your physique, but Bernard, I must say… you really do have quite the alluring body.” 

Bernard blushed at that. He didn’t know what for, it just happened.

Helmholtz’s hands wandered over his thighs, squeezed at his stomach, and once or twice they brushed over his cock a doodle doo, making Bernard shiver. Helmholtz went on with touching him all over for a little while; which would be okay with Bernard if he wasn’t purposely avoiding his dick. He whined and rubbed his head against Helmholtz’s neck. 

“Holtz…”

Helmholtz chuckled softly and pinched at his lower stomach. 

“I know, I know.”

Bernard shifted with excitement as Helmholtz’s hands finally started rubbing his willy through his underwear. When Bernard was more than hard enough, he carefully and slowly pulled the clothing down, and took him in his hand.

“Mngh…” Bernard became putty in Helmholtz’s gentle hold. 

Helmholtz started stroking Bernard’s dick with technique, taking his time and squeezing him in all the right ways. Wet sounds filled the room as he got faster and faster, though still keeping his initially soft hold. Bernard squirmed as his senses were overwhelmed; the clean smell of Helmholtz’s favorite cologne, the sight and feeling of Helmholtz’s strong hand pleasuring him like no one else ever had, the sound of Helmholtz whispering little praises in his ear, about how much he loved seeing him in such a state; the taste of Helmholtz’s lips meeting his as he took his hand off of his dick just as he was about to cum. 

Bernard whined loudly, and was about to protest when Helmholtz grabbed the back of his head and kissed him fervently once again. Bernard melted into the kiss. He was always so weak for Helmholtz. 

“Bernard…look at me, Marx.” Bernard looked up at him with half-lidded eyes. “I think I know how to really get all of those pent up feelings out of you..”

Helmholtz brought one of Bernard’s hands up to his face, and kissed it. 

“Do you trust me?”

Bernard stared into his honest eyes for only a second before saying yes. Maybe, he would later think, he shouldn’t have trusted him so quickly. At least not before talking about whatever this ‘new thing’ was. 

A split moment after he agreed, he felt a sharp pain in his cock, and the sound of a slap rang in his ears.

“Ack-Helmholtz!!”

Helmholtz quickly went to rub his cock carefully.

“What the hell was-fuck!” Another slap.

Bernard threw his head back and let out a strained wail.

“Too much?” Helmholtz carefully studied his body language, looking for any true sign of discomfort. He’d known Bernard for a long time, and he knew when he really felt uncomfortable.

Bernard positioned his head upright again. He looked at Helmholtz, then down at his dick. Unsurprisingly enough, he was genuinely enjoying having his dick slapped. He hid his face in the juncture of Helmholtz’s neck, and mouthed a single word of approval: ‘more.’

Slap!

Bernard’s lithe body jumped with every hit, legs making the slightest move to close before Helmholtz pulled them apart again. After two slaps, Holtz massaged Bernard’s thighs and stroked him nicely.

“H-holtz…it feels…” 

“Good, I know.” Helmholtz kissed his forehead. “You love this, don’t you?”

Bernard thrusted his hips into the air as a response, his hard dick bobbing against his stomach as he did so.

Slap!

“N-ngh!” 

“I know, Bernard, take it.”

Slap!

“Afgh!”

Slap!

“Shh, shh…” Helmholtz gave him a piece of reassurance for every hit. His harsh slaps got even harsher as he went on. The same soft hand that was there to comfort Bernard in his time of need was now slapping his sore cock like its life depended on it; and Bernard loved it. Loved the duality of his closest friend, and loved the pleasure it brought him.

Slap! Slap! Slap!

Bernard almost screamed at the last one. His cock was dripping with precum, spilling out a little more after every hit. Helmholtz grabbed his jaw and made Barnard look at him as he slapped his aching cock continuously. 

“You’re fucking perfect, you know that?” Bernard moaned into Helmholtz’s mouth while he made out with him.

“H-helm-z!” 

“What is it, Marx?”

“S-so much-!” He gasped as Helmholtz stopped slapping and gripped him tightly, placing his thumb on the tip.

“Not yet, Bernard.”

In an instant, Bernard was on his back, legs spread wide open, easily manhandled by Holtz’s strong hands. He watched Helmholtz as he crawled on top of him, kissing his way up his body while keeping Bernard’s legs spread with his sturdy build. 

When Helmholtz reached Bernard’s face, Bernard put his arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him enthusiastically, all the while Helmholtz pushed the back of Bernard’s thighs up, and positioned himself at his hole. 

“You ready, Mar-”

“Just get on with it already!” Bernard placed both palms on Helmholtz’s juicy pecs.

Helmholtz laughed that joyous laugh that Bernard so loved.

“Ah!” Helmholtz shoved himself, inch by inch, into Bernard, groaning as he tightened around him. 

“Oh, Ford , you feel amazing- even better than a woman, dare I say-!”

Helmholtz waited until Bernard gave him the ok, and when he nodded, Helmholtz fucked him like the only thing he knew how to do was fuck.

Bernard moaned with every thrust, he felt every vein and inch on Helmholtz’s dick as he shoved it inside of him over and over, and he sobbed when Helmholtz would hit that delicious spot inside of him. He could tell that Holtz had probably bedded many women before; he fucked him so well that Bernard thought he might just pass out from the immense pleasure he was feeling.

Bernard cried out, scratching thin lines down Helmholtz’s back as his muscles contracted with every movement. Helmholtz panted heavily with every bit of stimulation, drooling a little into Bernard’s mouth as he swallowed his cries with a sloppy kiss. 

“Helmholtz!” Bernard felt like he might cum extremely soon, so he let Helmholtz know, even though he knew Helmholtz wouldn’t care, and would probably keep fucking him through it all. 

Helmholtz growled, Bernard’s cries only encouraging him to go faster, to give Bernard what he wanted; what he needed.

“Helm- I’m- Anh!” 

“You like this, huh? You like- fuck - being used like a toy, Bernard?” Helmholtz watched as Bernard’s eyes crossed upwards at the degradation. “Fuck, you’re so good for me, Marx, I could fuck you all day long- I damn well might!” 

Helmholtz’s hand muffled Bernard’s cries, and his other hand went to choke him.

Bernard couldn’t take it anymore. His dick twitched as it spurted cum all over his lower stomach.

Helmholtz wouldn’t stop however. He wasn’t done relieving all of Bernard’s stress.

“Mggfh!!” 

“I know, baby,” Helmholtz kissed him. “You can give me one more, right?”

Bernard felt Holtz’s hands leave his throat and mouth, replaced with a pair of desperate lips kissing at all the sore spots. 

“Give it to me, Helmholtz!” And Helmholtz did. He gripped his hips with immense strength as he went all out on Bernard.

“Helmholtz!!”

“Fuck-fuck!” Helmholtz was getting close, and Bernard could feel it. He reached down and began stroking Bernard’s hardening cock, squeezing his erect penile head with every stroke. He shouted as he felt Bernard tighten even more around his thick cock.

“O-oh- great heavens, I’m arriving!” He wailed as Helmholtz locked their hips into place, Bernard’s cock spurting out strings of cum rhythmically once again, as he shook from the intensity of his second orgasm.

 Holtz let out a deep groan as he released inside of Bernard, gripping onto his hips to ensure that he wasn’t going anywhere. He leaned forward and licked at Bernard’s warm lips. 

“A-alpha…” Bernard moaned. 

“...”

Bernard felt Helmholtz’s dick twitch inside of him as he said it. This dirty bastard , he thought hypocritically as Helmholtz blushed.

Bernard felt Helmholtz’s body collapse against his after he slowly pulled out of him. He whimpered as Helmholtz’s cum trickled out of him, drop by drop. 

The two men laid there for a while, reveling in the euphoric after-sex rush. Quite the feeling, Bernard thought.

///

After a long while (and some sleep), Helmholtz broke the silence.

“Next time, be honest with me, yeah? About your life, I mean.” Bernard nodded against his neck. “And if you ever need, well, this , ever again- I know you don’t like to take soma excessively so…give me a call.” Bernard nodded again.

Even better than soma.