Chapter 1: Words of Fate
Notes:
Hi! Before you start reading, I'd like to note that if you are viewing this work with a site skin applied, that may alter your viewing experience, as it uses text colors from chapter 2 and onward. I'm not sure how it effects the colors, but I have been told that it can make the work hard to read for some users. Please be aware of this.
Chapter Text
Izuku was 4 years old when words first appeared on his wrist. His soulmate! Scrawled out in shaky handwriting, the word “hello?” appeared, wobbly and unsure. His heart skipped a beat when he saw it. His mom had told him what this meant, so when it was finally his turn, he couldn’t contain the excitement. He just had to share the good news! Izuku gingerly set his All Might figure down and raced through the corridor as fast as his little legs could carry him, crashing into his mom’s legs.
“Woah, slow down Izuku! You could hurt yourself.” Inko carefully bent down to her son’s level, looking over his pale, freckled face. His expression was ecstatic, emerald eyes aglow with wonder. She smiled at him. “Now, what’s got you so excited?” She asks softly.
The small boy beamed up at Inko and began effervescently rambling. “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mysoulmate! I hav- She write! Mommy! Soulmate she writed to me!!” His words were rushed, blending together as he rushed to get the thoughts out. By the time he was done, he was panting slightly. He had a bad habit of speaking faster than he could think. She sighs, lifting the green haired boy up to rest on her hip.
“Sweetie, you need to breathe. Mommy can’t understand you when you're this worked up. What’s going on, darling?” She rubbed a comforting hand on his back, loving, juniper eyes meeting dazzling emerald ones. Izuku took several deep breaths, leaning into the warmth and familiarity of his mom’s hold. Inko cherished moments like these… Just her and her little boy. She didn’t need to give up the world for him, because to her, he was the world.
Izuku eventually sat back up, taking a final deep breath, his emerald eyes momentarily closing. The freckled boy then spoke again, this time softer with more clarity. “Mommy! My soulmate must be 5. Because she wrote to me! Look!” The boy thrust his wrist out towards a confused Inko. She gently considered the small wrist held out before her. Sure enough, the word “hello?” was written, although barely legible, in stark black ink upon her son’s wrist.
“That’s great Izuku! When you turn 5, you’ll have to write back. It’s only January though, so you still have 6 months.” Inko smiled warmly, ruffling her son’s messy deep green hair. She regardfully considers the situation, and sets her son back on the floor. He wines, a pout forming on his face, but she cuts him off with a suggestion. “What do you say we have katsudon to celebrate! I know it’s your favorite!” Inko boops Izuku’s freckled nose.
The green haired boy smiles brightly and eagerly nods. “Yes please Mommy!!!” He began bouncing on the balls of his feet. That was his favorite. She wasn’t planning on making it tonight, but her little boy just seemed so happy, and she wanted to celebrate this momentous occasion with him.
“Alright. You run along and play. I’m gonna start dinner. I love you, my sweet little hero.”
“Love you too Mommy!!” The delighted Izuku runs back off through the apartment. Inko watches his small frame disappear around the corner before chuckling to herself. Truth be told, she’s relieved that at least one aspect of her son’s life will be normal. At least he’ll have someone to love him… and that will be enough.
Izuku was so excited to have a soulmate. He still hadn’t presented signs of a quirk, and was worried that he wouldn’t at all. Kacchan told him at school that quirkless kids were also soulmateless, and this make his heart hurt. Izuku didn’t have the words to explain it properly, but the thought of being alone was nothing short of pure agony. If what Kacchan said was true, then he wouldn’t have a soulmate. Unless he was wrong. That couldn’t be though, because Kacchan was never wrong. Izuku was sure he would present a quirk soon. He had to… right?
The next day at school, Izuku was so thrilled that he couldn’t wait to tell everyone he had a soulmate. He wanted to hear what Kacchan would say when he got his soulmate writing first. Izuku walked into the classroom, immediately running to find Kacchan. He found the ash blonde boy was already raving about something to a group of kids off to the side. His ruby red eyes were practically aflame, a huge beaming smile on his face. The green haired boy hugged the blonde from behind, earning a small explosion to the arm.
“Sorry Izu... You scared me. I got my soulmate writing last night!” A proud looking Bakugo glanced at the green haired boy. Izuku found himself smiling softly, simply congratulating him so as to not ruin the moment. He then let go of the blonde’s shoulders and busied himself with some crayons and a coloring book. The two would play heroes later, when Kacchan was done with showing their peers. Kacchan can be All Might today, he thought.
…several months later…
Izuku didn’t want to be here. Ever since he was diagnosed as quirkless, Kacchan started bullying him. Only a little bit, but it still hurts. Even so, Izuku wanted to be a good friend. He was hoping maybe this could make up for something… He clutched a small box, tied with a bow, as he followed his mom into the familiar entryway of the Bakugou residence. April 20th… He knew the date well. The inside was decorated with banners and streamers. All of them depicted their favorite hero, All Might. His classmates ran through the house recklessly, apparently wrapped up in a game of tag. Izuku wrapped a small arm around his mom’s leg, burying his face into her. Inko ruffled his hair gently and encouragingly. A friendly voice spoke in front of them.
“Izuku! Inko! So wonderful to see you. I’m glad you could make it to the little brat’s birthday party.” Mitsuki Bakugo stood in front of the two, smiling down at Izuku. Despite what she called her son, she had nothing but pride written on her face. Mitsuki really did love her son.
“It’s a big one. He’s turning 5. Has he written to his soulmate yet?” Inko inquired. Izuku’s mom had her long, deep green hair pulled up into a loose bun. She was wearing a white cardigan and a floral dress.
“Nah, Katsuki wants to wait for everyone to watch. Already knows he has a soulmate, the little shit.” Mitsuki and Inko engaged in jovial banter. Izuku wandered off, placing his gift on the pile and finding a place to observe from. Eventually, he curled up in a reclining chair in the corner, clutching the familiar throw pillow to his chest.
He watched the kids in his class play. Izuku waved at Katsuki as he passed, only to be met with eye rolls. At least he wasn’t mean, Izuku thought. He didn’t feel welcome enough to participate in the activities, but didn’t want to leave enough to make a fuss. Eventually, it was time to cut the cake. Before that, though, they all gathered around the large table. Mitsuki handed Katsuki a marker, and everyone watched in awe as he scribbled a shaky greeting onto his wrist. His handwriting was messy, but it would improve with time. Probably.
A tense moment passed, the party-goers watching with bated breath to see if he would earn a response. A few painstaking moments later, his greeting was met with a wish for a happy birthday. Katsuki looked around with a shit eating grin, eventually locking eyes with Izuku. Izuku averted his gaze quickly, looking down at his hands in his lap. He was happy for Katsuki, really. He just couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. The green haired boy didn't know why he was disappointed. He had his own soulmate, and he knew that Katsuki had one months ago. Even still, he couldn’t ease that pained feeling in his chest.
A few seconds passed before he noticed writing scrawled across his wrist. Izuku’s eyes widened, and his eyebrows knit together in confusion. There was a “hey” written in shaky orange marker. Maybe his soulmate was worried and just wanted to try to chat again. It had been several months, so that wasn’t unreasonable. Just below that though, even more curiously, was the phrase “happy birthday” written in black. Izuku glanced up at Kacchan, noticing an orange marker in his hand. All of a sudden, it was like the earth was crumbling under his feet. Izuku’s heart began to race, his mind leafing through everything he had ever been told about soulmates. Despite all the excited chatter, Izuku found himself struggling to breathe. He wanted to run. He wanted to scream. But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t ruin Kacchan’s special moment. He said nothing, and graciously accepted the cake placed in front of him by Mitsuki. She ruffled his hair quickly, and moved on.
After having cake, Kacchan opened his gifts. Izuku watched intently. Katsuki’s eyes scrunched up in excitement as he laughed and smiled. He looked happy… he reached for the small box Izuku had gotten him. Katsuki gently tugged the ribbon off, opening the box. Inside, lay a pristine, limited edition All Might pen. The note inside said “for you to write to your soulmate with.” The ash blonde boy grumbled a small “thanks”, flashing a quick and appreciative smile Izuku’s way. Even if it wasn’t obvious to most, Izuku knew that Katsuki liked the gift. He had spent a long time looking for the pen with his mom. The green haired boy was happy to have made Kacchan smile. He may not be the boy’s friend, but when picking out the gift, he thought that to see Kacchan smile… It would be enough. Eventually, the party drew to a close, and it was time for them to go home.
As Inko unlocked the door to the apartment, Izuku tugged on his mom’s white cardigan sleeve. “Mommy…” his voice wavered as he spoke. His face was anxious, and he clearly had something on his mind. Hopefully he
“Yes, hun?” Inko asked gently, swinging the door open. The pair scurried inside, and she closed the door softly. She made quick work of taking Izuku’s bright red jacket off, before working on her own outer layer.
“Can you have two soulmates?” His voice was small and full of wonder as he asked. Even still, his heart was racing. At least this time he remembers to breathe, taking slow, deep breaths.
“Well…” she said, taking a moment to mull over the ideas. “I don’t think so. I think you only get one, kiddo.” She hung up her cardigan, setting her keys in the tray by the door.
“Then… is there something wrong with me?” Inko’s eyebrows knit together in confusion before she turned to look at her son, crouching down in front of him. Her confused eyes meet his big sad ones for the first time since entering the apartment.
“What? Baby boy, there is nothing wrong with you. You're perfect the way you are. Why would you say that?” She asked, tucking a stray lock of green curls behind his ear.
“It’s just… Well…” the freckled boy pauses, taking a deep breath before continuing shakily, “Then why do I have two?” He presents his wrist to her. Inko takes it in her own hands, carefully considering the writing. Sure enough, there were two different handwritings in two different colors. Her expression grew more confused.
“Izuku, did you tell anyone?” She asks, a sense of urgency in her voice. The boy shakes his head. “Good. Don’t tell a soul until we figure this out. Promise me?” Maybe she realized what Izuku had. His soulmate, or one of them anyway, was…
“I promise Mommy!” Izuku smiles at her. He didn’t want to complicate things. Kacchan seemed happy. Izuku would let Katsuki be with his soulmate. He would let the soulmates be together. He didn’t know what he would tell everyone, but as long as he could see Kacchan happy, that would be enough for him.
Never tell a soul. Izuku could do that, couldn’t he? It was then that he made the decision. On his 5th birthday, he would not write to his soulmate. Soulmates…? Or ever. He would let them be ignorant. Maybe then they could truly be happy. Maybe he could be happy too.
Chapter 2: Birthday Wishes
Summary:
Izuku spent the next few years lying about his soulmates. Despite everything, his mother hosts a birthday party for him every single year. This year, Izuku's 13th birthday, only one person shows up to his party. Was it worth even having a party at all?
Notes:
Sorry for the late update, this was supposed to be posted a week ago, but I have ADHD. lmao.
Chapter Text
As the years progressed, Izuku only got made fun of more. On his 5th birthday, when he was asked by his classmates if he had written to his soulmate, of course he lied and said yes. “Yeah, she just must not have turned 5 yet!” He told them, knowing full well that he was in the same class as one of them. He lied through his teeth for two whole years. Eventually, though, it hit a point where that became weird and awkward. So he finally settled on telling everyone that either his soulmate ws refusing to write back, or he didn’t have one. Either way, there wasn’t much difference. Once he said this, he officially secured his fate. “stupid, unlovable, Deku.” This became his identity.
Kacchan may be a little mean, but at least they could still be friends. Until that fateful day at the bridge. That damn bridge. Izuku never knew what he did wrong. He had only tried to help. After that fateful day, their friendship was no more. As time progressed, the memory was lost to time, getting washed away with the cascade of new memories that the coming years would bring. Even through the bullying, Izuku never wished ill for Katsuki. He could have revealed the soulmate thing and ruined everything. But the knowledge that he was also Katsuki’s soulmate was enough for him. Izuku was okay with the taunts, the insults, and even the physical altercations he found himself in. He would take it all if it meant that Katsuki could be happy.
In middle school, everything kept getting worse. The two had both attended the same school and neither boy had met Shoto yet. Izuku started taking notes on how to be a hero. Since the profession was a dangerous one, it was perfect for someone like him. Well, someone who was soulmateless. Quirkless though… could he be a hero and be quirkless? As far as his classmates knew, he was just some unlovable, quirkless, idiot. He was okay with that.
Izuku would study everything he could about heroes and quirks. He didn’t know if he could go into heroic with no quirk, but the green haired boy was determined. His promise to Kacchan kept him going. “We will be the best heroes this world will see! Promise me Izu? Please. I can’t be the best without you.” Kacchan had said. “Yes! Kacchan I’ll be by your side every step of the way! Pinky Promise!” And they had. They shook pinkies that day. To Izuku, those words still meant everything. Even as Katsuki’s abuses got worse. It started off as taunts, simple insults thrown in his direction.
He began to take notes on everything to cope. Every time he saw a hero, everything he knew about them, his observations, strengths, weaknesses, costume details, flaws, and even theorized ways that they could use their abilities and quirks in other ways. He started doing this to his peers too. His notebooks that extended far beyond most human’s analytical abilities were all he had now.
Every day he would see insults on his wrist in Bakugo’s handwriting. They were aimed at him. About how he was a stupid nerd, his constant note taking, his analytical skills, the way he wore his hair, how he sat. Honestly, anything he ever did had earned an insult from Katsuki at one point or another. Izuku knew that he could ruin Kacchan’s day by writing back one time. But he chose not to. He wanted Kacchan to be happy, even if it meant hurting himself in the process. Is that why they were soulmates…? Is that what true love means? Izuku wasn’t really sure. Even still, he felt he was making the right choice.
All of his friends had abandoned him. Even still, he was forced to attend events like Katsuki’s birthday parties. Auntie Mitsuki made Kacchan attend all of Izuku’s birthday parties too. Though eventually, less and less guests showed, until it was just Kacchan. It was Izuku’s 13th birthday today. He had tried to convince his mother to stop hosting them, but she insisted. He swears it was just an excuse for her to hang out with Mitsuki at this point. Or maybe all those years ago, she had known that Katsuki was one of his soulmates, and was trying to push them together. Either way, here the green haired boy stood beside his mother, wearing his favorite green hoodie that he had made tighter at the wrists some time ago, and his favorite pair of jeans.
Inko opened the door to their small apartment to reveal MItsuki, who was dressed in a simple white shirt with a pink cardigan, and some jeans. Her son was wearing his staple black jeans and black skull t-shirt.
“Hi, Auntie Mitsuki, Hi Kacchan! Thanks for coming.” Izuku smiled cheerfully. He was trying to be polite. He was always polite.
“Sup Auntie Inko. Hey nerd.” Katsuki responded, but his voice was soft. Both moms chuckled and went off to talk about whatever it was that they talked about. Katsuki took his shoes off at the door like he was supposed to, then followed Izuku to his room. After Izuku shut the door, he looked at Katsuki.
“Look, Kacchan… I’m sorry that your mom made you come. I tried to convince my mom not to have this, but she insisted. So, let’s make this as painless as possible. I’ll do my thing, you do yours. Just pretend we had a good time for our moms, and we don’t even have to interact with each other. Just don’t break the All-Might merch.” Izuku then goes to sit on his bed.
Katsuki seems taken aback by Izuku’s comments. “You don’t want me here?” His voice is a mix of anger, and an emotion that Izuku recognizes as hurt. He has no idea why.
“Kacchan, you’re welcome here anytime. But, I know that you aren’t here because you want to be. So, why pretend? It’ll only make you more angry with me.” Izuku replies simply. He doesn’t seem upset though, only apologetic.
“Tch… Whatever.” Katsuki proceeds to spend the next while nosing around Izuku’s room, though he seems quite annoyed. He eventually holds up a well-loved All Might plush. “Think it’s about time you throw this one way, nerd.” He says it in a teasing voice.
“Well… It is a little old, but I can’t bring myself to part with it… Because it’s important to me.” Izuku chuckles a little.
“Oh? Why?” Katsuki seemed interested now. Of course he wouldn’t understand, because his family isn’t exactly struggling financially.
“You gave it to me. On my 5th birthday… And, that’s the last time I remember you actually wanting to be at my birthday party. After that, I don’t really know what happened. But, I like to remember when we used to be friends, Kacchan.” Izuku’s voice wavered slightly as he spoke, though he didn’t cry. He simply smiled.
“You’re pathetic. You know that? You follow me around like a lost puppy. Stupid Deku. When are you going to get the hint?! I see your damn stalker notebooks, you bastard. I hate you. And we will never be friends again. So you might as well throw that dream in the trash.” Katsuki laughs as he says this, an unreadable expression of anger spreading across his face.
Izuku just nods. “You’re right, Kacchan. Just like always. But it’s still All MIght merch at the end of the day, and I couldn’t afford to replace that thing now even if I wanted to.” The freckled boy gets up from his spot on the bed. “I’ll be back. Maybe our moms are ready for cake so you can stop being forced to hang out with me.”
Izuku goes to talk to the two moms. “Mom, Auntie Mitsuki, cna we have cake now…? I kinda want to get some sleep soon.”
“Oh, of course Izu! Why don’t you go get Katsuki?” Inko smiled at her son affectionately.
“Yeah… I’ll do that.” Izuku runs off, only to return moments later with Katsuki in tow. They cut the cake and all eat together quietly. Then, Izuku says a quick goodnight and returns to his room. The All Might plush in question lay on his bed. There was a note propped up against his pillow. He took it in his hands to read it.
“I had an awful time, and don’t think this means we are fucking friends now. I still hate you. Stop following me around like a lost puppy. If I see you following me around one more damn time, I won’t be so nice. I’m serious. You’ll regret it.”
Izuku smiled at this. He knew Kacchan could be a bit mean, but even this was low for him. He sighed, looking at the conversation taking place on his wrist. Red and blue sharpies. They had long ago decided on a color code, so the writing wouldn’t get muddled together.
Finally, we got to leave that damn nerd’s house. He was driving me crazy.
Maybe he just wants to be friends?
I don’t care. Shoto, he doesn’t know what no means. That damn Deku couldn't take a hint if it slapped him in the face.
If you say so, Kats. What did he even do this time?
He just watched me. It was really weird.
That does sound frustrating. I’m sorry Kats. I gtg, my dad is back.
Bye, Sho.
Izuku couldn’t help but smile. Even when he feels doubtful about his situation, there’s one thing that reassures him more than anything. The knowledge that his soulmates get to be happy with each other keeps him sure that this was the right decision. He was looking out for them.
Around 10pm that night, Izuku noticed more writing on his wrist. He was very confused. As he read it.
Do you ever feel like something is missing…? Like it’s right in front of you but you can’t have it?
Izuku mulled this thought over in his head as he drifted off to sleep. Kacchan was so cool. What could he possibly want that he didn’t already have? He could afford almost anything. Maybe he was just missing Shoto. They hadn’t actually met, so maybe that was it. That had to be it. There was a tight feeling in his chest, as he began to breathe heavily.
Izuku thought about what he vowed to himself that he never would. He thought about what it would be like to just reach out and grab Katsuki’s hand. To hold it in his… only to be rejected. The thought had tears spilling down his freckled cheeks. No. He could never tell Kacchan.
Chapter 3: A Familiar Sorrow
Summary:
Middle school passed in the blink of an eye, and Izuku was planning on going to UA. He wanted to be a hero more than anything. But after all the bullying... He was tired. Just really damn tired.
Notes:
This chapter isn't edited, because I simply didn't feel like it. Enjoy my lovelies. <3
Chapter Text
“Hey Deku.” Bakugo spat angrily. His fist slammed Izuku’s locker shut, forcing the green haired boy to look him in the eyes. Emerald eyes met familiar scarlet ones. “UA application deadlines are coming up.” His smirk was wide and malicious.
“Y-yeah. I guess they are. Why are you telling me this?” Izuku was nervous, but mostly confused. Why would Kacchan bring that up out of nowhere? His thoughts were racing about all the things this could mean. Maybe the blonde wanted him to apply?
“I know you were thinking about applying, dumbass. Well don’t bother. You aren’t getting in. You’re just a worthless and quirkless little bastard. Nobody loves you, and nobody ever will. You are nothing. Remember that.” Bakugo’s cocky smirk was unsettling. Izuku backed further against the locker. From this angle, Katsuki looked like he towered over Izuku. It was definitely just the fear pumping through his veins though.
“O-okay. Th- Thanks for the advice, Kacchan!” Izuku smiles at Bakugo. He was trying his best to remain friendly, though he couldn’t stop the little bit of fear and hesitance that laced his tone. His mind flashed through all the sweet things that Katsuki had written to Shoto over the years. He knew that deep down, he wasn’t a bad person.
“It isn’t advice, dumbass. It’s a fucking warning. If you even think about applying, I’ll blow you straight to hell. Got that?” Bakugo looked Izuku up and down. His scarlet eyes were fierce and piercing, keeping Izuku frozen in place.
“Well, I know you’ll get in! You’re just amazing like that.” Izuku deflects the question. He doesn’t want to tell Kacchan that he submitted his application months ago, but lying didn’t really feel right either. He had been lying to Kacchan almost their whole lives, sure, but that was different. Izuku was protecting him. He owed Kacchan that much. Kacchan would never have to live as a freak.
“Tch, of course I will. You don’t have to compliment me like that. It doesn’t mean shit coming from a quirkless Deku like yourself. I mean how pathetic can you get? Quirkless and soulmateless? You scream unlovable in every way.” His compliments seemed to have distracted Bakugo, and served as an acceptable answer.
The unlovable comment felt as if the blonde had stabbed Izuku in the heart. “I’m not unlovable just because you don’t love me.” Izuku responded. He tried his best to hide the hurt in his voice.
“Hah?! Who told you that shit? Auntie Inko? She has to tell you that because she’s your mom. But let me tell you something, you damn nerd. She doesn’t fucking love you. You’re nothing but a burden to her. Maybe if you weren’t so useless, your dad would still be here.”
At those words, Izuku’s entire demeanor melted. If saying he was unlovable was like being stabbed, Kacchan was just twisting the knife now. He froze, and tears threatened to prick his eyes. So, the freckled boy did the only thing that he knew how to do. What would All Might do? Izuku smiled. A big, bright, happy smile. And he simply said, “You’re right, Kacchan.”
The scarlet-eyed boy seemed slightly taken aback. He became increasingly frustrated. No matter what he tried, Izuku always seemed to be so happy. Katsuki struggled with that though. He couldn’t stand to see the green haired boy beaming as if nothing had happened. He wanted the words to hurt. “Stop fucking smiling. Aren’t you hearing what I’m saying? Hah?! Or are you making fun of me?” A single blonde eyebrow rose at the idea. He continued to stare Izuku down, trying to read him.
“No- I’d never make fun of you! I’m sorry Kacchan.” Izuku tried to recover the situation by apologizing. That should work. Just smile and apologize.
The blonde grabbed the freckled boy by his collar, lifting him up and shoving him against the lockers. “Tch. You better fucking not. I know where you live. I will personally see to it that every last piece of that stupid hero merch you have burns. And I will make you watch. Am I understood, nerd?” Katsuki’s scarlet eyes pierced dangerously through his soul. He wasn’t joking. Izuku knew that expression all too well.
“Yes, I understand.” The green haired boy nodded quickly. He was afraid that if he didn’t, Katsuki might do it just to prove a point. Much of his collection was limited edition, so it would be impossible to replace. His mom didn’t make much as it was, so Izuku wasn’t willing to take the risk. The blonde knew just how much weight this threat held.
Katsuki stared Izuku down for what felt like forever, searching for any sign of resistance. When he found none, his anger seemed to slip for a second. As quickly as it slipped, his anger returned. The blonde grabbed the smaller boy’s wrist, using his quirk to make a small explosion directly against his skin. A large, hand-shaped burn was left behind. This finally pacified Katsuki, and he threw the green haired boy to the floor.
“Consider this your fucking warning, nerd.” The blonde’s fist collided with Izuku’s nose, leaving him seeing stars. His nose started bleeding. The same scarlet red as Katsuki’s stunning eyes. With that, the explosive teen turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Izuku on the ground to gather himself.
“Bye Kacchan,” Izuku whispered. He used his sleeve to wipe the blood from his nose, a smile still plastered on his face. I love you…
Middle school passed in a blur. Soon enough, the end of the year was rolling around. Their homeroom teacher began a lecture on career options for the future. High school was just around the corner, and with so many career paths you could specialize in, it was imperative that students choose the right path.
“Now… Let’s be honest. I know all of you have no interest in what I’m about to say. You all have your heart set on being heroes, right?” The teacher said, looking over the class of bored middle schoolers.
Almost the whole class cheered and attempted to show off their quirks. None were particularly impressive, but that’s to be expected from a class of middle schoolers. There were only two students that didn’t join in the commotion. Izuku and Katsuki. Katsuki was leaning back in his desk chair, clearly annoyed. Izuku had his head on his desk, covering his face with his arms in embarrassment.
“Yes, yes. You are all very talented. But remember, it’s against the rules to use your quirks in school. I don’t particularly feel like filling out that many detention forms.” The teacher observed his enthusiastic class with a proud yet annoyed look.
“Tch, sensei, don’t lump me in with these losers!” Katsuki spoke up from his seat. “I’m leagues above these damn extras and their shitty quirks.” His smirk was wide, and he looked around at his peers with a piercing glare. He was daring someone to challenge him.
“Mmm… Bakugo Katsuki. You applied for the prestigious UA, didn’t you?” The teacher recalls. The class whispers quiet chatter about Bakugo, though nothing loud enough to be picked from the cacophony of noise.
“Yeah, I did. I’m gonna be the next Number One and I’ll kick All Might’s ass. Then you damn extras can all go to hell!”
Izuku’s face pales even more as he tries to go unnoticed. He had received his letter about 2 weeks prior inviting him to take the entrance exam. It would be just his luck that the teacher would call them out. Hopefully he doesn’t say his name. Katsuki was looking around smugly. The teacher had finally caught his attention.
Nobody spoke up, so the teacher went back to looking at his papers. “Hmm… and Midoriya, you’re also going for UA, right?” Immediately, attention snapped to the green haired boy. Despite all eyes on him, there was only one person in the room that he cared about. The scornful gaze of a particular blonde was crushing.
Izuku felt like he couldn’t breathe. His chest was heavy and he started to breathe faster. He couldn’t speak, so he just nodded his head, trying to sink further down into his chair. He wanted the ground to swallow him up.
The blonde stood up, turning his attention directly to Izuku now. Bakugo stalked towards Midoriya, who shrunk back into his seat. “Hey you damn nerd, you think you can rub shoulders with me hah? Well you aren’t even close to being on my level. You are below me. You better not even THINK about going to that damned exam. I’ll blow you to hell, you got that?” He seethed. He fired off an explosion that singed Izuku’s uniform. “Damn Deku, forget their shitty quirks. You are completely quirkless. You’ll never get in.”
“Well, technically-” Izuku tried to plaster on a smile and defend himself. He loved Kacchan, but he didn’t want to be bullied his whole life. The green haired boy’s defenses fell on deaf ears.
“ Technically” Bakugo mocked. “ Technically you can kiss my ass. You should’ve never applied. If you get in, I’ll personally see to it that your life is a living hell.” His tone was threatening and aggressive. The bell rang and students began to file out. Katsuki walked away to gather his things. Izuku stood up, quickly shuffling toward the door. Two of Katsuki’s friends blocked the door.
“Excuse me, can I get through please?” His emerald eyes were trained on the cherry red of his sneakers, not wanting to meet their gaze. He felt a familiar rough hand grab his shoulder, yanking him back.
“We aren’t done here, Deku.” Bakugo smirks. Izuku’s expression is anxious as he looks at Katsuki. He plastered a smile on his face. Looking into the angry eyes of his soulmate... Izuku should have been scared. He should have been angry. But he wasn’t. He just felt sad.
“Kacchan?” The freckled boy waited for a response from the blonde.
The blonde noticed the notebook clutched in his arms and snatched it. He laughed as he looked through it. “You really are delusional, aren’t you. How many times do I have to tell you? You’ll never be a hero.” Katsuki tried to explode the notebook, the edges of the pages becoming singed.
“That’s not nice. Give it back Kacchan!” Izuku reached for the notebook, but Katsuki held it out of his reach.
“You just don’t get it, do you?! So you’re stupid on top of unlovable and weak. That’s pathetic. And stop fucking calling me Kacchan. You aren’t my equal. You never will be.” He tosses the notebook out of the classroom window, snickering at Izkuku’s expression. “Actually, I’m feeling nice, so here’s a time-saving idea for you.” He stalks forward, grabbing Izuku by the front of his shirt. The blonde shoves him down to the floor, looking at him threateningly. “Pray you’ll be born with a quirk in your next life, then go take a swan dive off the roof.”
Izuku watches with tears pricking his eyes as Katsuki leaves the room, laughing wildly. He stood up a few minutes later, looking down to his wrist for some comfort… As if there would be reassurance written there. He knew that was foolish. But still.
That damn nerd applied to UA even after I told him not to. Is he fucking stupid?
Kats, that’s not nice. If he really is as weak as you say, he won’t pass the entrance exam. So why worry?
You’re right… Fucking nerd. He’s gonna get himself killed.
That’s his decision to make.
Radio silence for a bit. Izuku was confused. Why would Kacchan care if he died? Hadn’t he just told him to kill himself? He ventured down to grab his notebook, thoughts racing through his mind. He replayed the day’s events in his mind over and over again.
Shoto…?
Yes?
I want you.
Some day…
Those words just broke Izuku. He would never be wanted. What would Katsuki do if he really did kill himself…? He could. Maybe the sweet embrace of death would finally give him a break. He wouldn’t have to lie anymore. He could just… be. Or whatever the opposite of existing was. Wouldn’t that be something.
Chapter 4: Never Meet Your Heroes
Summary:
Our favorite green haired boy meets his idol, All Might. But.. Things don't exactly go as planned.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Izuku gathered his notebook from the fountain outside the window. The pages were singed and soaked from the day’s events. Most of it was still legible, but there were some pages that weren’t salvageable. What he had left would be enough. The green haired boy began the familiar walk home. He longed for the familiar comfort that his bed would soon bring. Being surrounded by All Might’s bright smile would bring him some form of familiarity. Izuku decided to take the backroads so he wouldn’t tempt fate by crossing Katsuki’s path again. When he crossed through the underpass, a bubbling could be heard, followed by a raspy voice.
“What luck. A vessel. Stay still, kid. It’ll only hurt for a little bit.” Izuku snapped out of his thoughts. A villain?! A big forest green sludge monster had entangled it’s way around Izuku’s body. He was terrified. The thing snaked up around his throat and into his mouth. It was trying to suffocate him.
Drowning… He felt like he was drowning. His oxygen supply was running out. Izuku struggled to get free, that taste and smell of raw sewage filling his senses. His eyes were watering. His body was fighting on it’s own. A basic survival instinct. But Izuku didn’t want to survive. The green haired boy wanted death to take him. He was just so tired. Maybe, if he slipped away into death’s sweet embrace here in the quiet dark alley, he would finally get to rest. Kacchan would be happy. And everything would be good.
Except it wasn’t. Because nothing could ever go right for quirkless, green haired boys. Suddenly, Izuku saw All Might appear from the sewers. His hero. Izuku should be happy. He was saved. Yay… Saved from a death that he so desperately craved. Izuku passed out from the lack of oxygen before he knew how it ended. And in that moment, he felt true bliss.
The next thing the freckled boy knew, he was sitting up on the pavement. His head was throbbing and the world was spinning. He looked to the man he knew as his idol. The man who had just saved his life. All Might. Izuku couldn’t blame the man for saving him. That’s what heroes do. They save lives. The freckled boy watched All Might with awe-struck eyes.
“A-All Might?!” His green eyes were aglow with excitement as he saw his hero standing before him. He quickly flipped through his notebook for an open page, when he noticed there was an Autograph already scribbled across one of the empty pages. He was so excited.
“HA HA HA! I AM HERE!” All Might exclaimed, his signature smile plastered on his face. He was holding a cola bottle filled with what looked to be the villain. Gross. But totally awesome!! “You’re lucky, young man! If I hadn’t gotten here on time, you would’ve been done for!” His stance was confident and heroic. It seemed like he was on a whole different planet.
Izuku blinked in complete disbelief. Had he actually died…? Was this heaven? A sweet, All Might filled heaven. “OhMYgoSH! All Might! You’re the greatest! Do you have time to answer some questions? I have so many! Please, it won’t take too long!!” He was bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. If this really was heaven, All Might would indulge his incessant questioning.
“My boy, I love your enthusiasm! But I don’t have time. I have to take this criminal to the police! You understand, right?” His voice was loud and booming. He chuckled as he spoke. He towered over Izuku.
“Please?!” He pleaded. His emerald eyes were wide and excited. “Just one question?!” If he couldn’t ask all his questions… The boy with the veridian hair wanted to know this one thing. No… He needed to know. He needed this answer at the core of his being.
All Might was ready to jump off through the air. Izuku moved before he had time to think it through. He needed this answer. He grabbed onto the taller man’s leg just as he propelled into the air. The two were practically soaring. He was going to get that damn answer, even if it killed him.
All Might noticed the boy, and quickly landed on the roof of a high-rise. “Young man! That was extremely reckless. You could’ve been seriously injured.” He looked disappointed.
“A-All Might! I’m so sorry. I didn’t think… But I just have to know.” The freckled boy was quick to apologize, not wanting to offend his idol. He had already hindered his work.
“Fine. One question. Make it quick.” The tall, muscular hero started to cough into his elbow. Izuku didn’t think much of it, as he was just excited that he was going to get his question answered.
“All Might… Do you think that I can be a hero too? Even without a quirk?” He asks. The question was important to him. He needed his idol to say yes more than anything. He was desperate. If All MIght believed in him, then maybe there was hope. He would find his reason to live.
“A quirkless hero…” All Might began to laugh. “Wouldn’t that be something, kid. You can’t be a hero without a quirk. You will get yourself killed.” The taller man took a deep breath, looking out across the city. He coughed again, and then after he caught his breath, he looked over his shoulder. “If you want to be a hero, be the civil servant kind. A police officer, a first responder… Something else.” He chuckled again and quietly whispered to himself. “A quirkless hero. In this society?”
Izuku felt his heart shatter for the second time today. He looked to the ground as tears started spilling down his freckled cheeks. He hoped to find the pieces of his heart somewhere in the paved rooftop, though he knew that was hopeless. “That's it then…”
He began mumbling about how his life was worthless. How he didn’t have a reason to live if he couldn’t be a hero. All Might began to walk towards the staircase of the building, intending to leave the boy at the bottom and continue on his way. He stopped when he noticed the boy wasn’t following him. “Kid… are you coming?”
Izuku wasn’t coming. He didn’t know what to do anymore. First his mom. She didn’t believe in him when he needed her the most. He remembers that day well. The day he was diagnosed as quirkless. The memory is burned into his mind like a brand.
There he sat on the edge of an exam table, looking around the room with wonder. His little legs swinging off the edge. His mom was by her side. Her green hair was long and beautiful. Izuku loved to wrap his fingers in it and play with it. He was absentmindedly braiding the ends of it. He loved the way that it felt. The doctor came into the room, and both pairs of green eyes snapped in that direction. If you looked into their eyes alone, they were practically indistinguishable.
“So..? What is it?” She had asked the doctor.
The doctor sighed, pushing his glasses further up his nose. “Mrs. Midoriya… You might want to sit down for this.” She nodded, picking up her beautiful baby boy… So sweet and innocent. She sat in one of the chairs and held him on her lap. He closed the door and took a seat on a stool. “There’s no easy way to say this… But your son, Izuku, is quirkless.”
Quirkless…
He heard the word, but he didn’t quite understand what it meant until he got home that night. He was sat in front of the computer watching his favorite All Might news story, when it finally registered. Quirkless… All Might had a quirk. How could he be like All Might when… The teas started flowing, and they didn’t stop. His mom head the crying and was quick to appear behind him.
“Izuku… Sweetheart, what's wrong?” Her voice was soft and soothing. He stared at her, tears rolling down his freckled cheeks. A cascade of all the big emotions he couldn’t keep inside.
“M- Mommy?” He sniffled, forcing a smile on his face to match All Might’s from the video. “I can still be a hero… right? I’ll still be like All Might… I can still be a hero.” He was hoping for any hint of confirmation from his mom. But…
Those words seemed to break her. Crying was a trait that ran strong through the Midoriya family household. Sloppy wet tears ran down her face as she hugged her son. She held him close and cried right along with him. But instead of offering him reassurance, she did what she felt was right. She just muttered a quiet apology… The only apology that has hurt more than it helped.
Now, standing before All Might, tears rolling down his cheeks, he truly felt lost. His mom had given up on him… His school teachers… Kacchan… And now All Might too. The pain was more than he could bear. As All Might turned to face him, Izuku did the only thing he knew how to do. The one thing he thought might bring some semblance of comfort to the overwhelming sense of dread that had his heart in a vice grip. He smiled. He smiled at his hero.
“Kid… I can’t just leave you up here. Come on.” All Might says, coughing again. This time, there was blood that appeared on his white shirt. He muttered a quiet ‘shit’ under his breath, but Izuku heard it. He looked at the hero with concern. The bright red of the blood matching his own red high-tops. The ones that he figured would look so beautiful placed by the ledge of the building. Maybe as a sign for someone else to keep going where he had failed… Maybe as a symbol that someone else wasn’t alone. He wasn’t sure.
The mess of green hair shook wildly as the boy answered the question. “No. I’ll come down later.” If lying to All Might was a sin, then send him to hell. ‘ I’m already a liar,’ Izuku reasoned with himself. ‘What’s one more lie between life and death…?’
“I know that look, young man. You’re not planning on following me…” All Might sighed. “I know that look, because I’ve had it before.”
All Might…? Japan– No. The world’s greatest hero… He’s thought about suicide before too..? The freckled boy didn’t know what to think about that. His mind was racing with all the possible implications of that statement. ‘No. Not All Might. He would never. He is the best. Why would he have thought about suicide…?’ The thoughts coursed through him like raging river rapids, unable to be held back or contained.
Izuku was broken away from his thoughts by All Might in another coughing fit. The buff hero leaned against the wall of the staircase entrance, slumping down to the floor. The green haired boy was quick to rush to his side. In an instant, the once buff hero had all but melted, looking like nothing more than a decrepit skeleton. A shell of the man that was just standing before him. Green eyes shone with worry as he looked over the scene. “A-All Might…?”
“Kid…” He sighed, loudly and labored. He coughed again. More blood trickling down his chin. The deep scarlet was a heavy contrast from the paleness of his face. “I… I’m not saying you can’t help people. I’m not saying you can’t be a hero to be mean… But look. Look at me. I was quirkless too. Look where that got me.”
“All Might? No! It can’t be true. You’re so strong. You have a strength quirk! The media said so.” Izuku tries to argue. He would know if All Might didn’t have a quirk. The green haired boy was the biggest All Might fan that you could ever meet. “How- what happened to you?”
All Might lifted up his shirt to reveal a huge wound that had been healing. “The truth is, I do have a quirk. Now. But it wasn’t mine. This quirk belongs to someone who has long since passed. It is a great burden that I must carry. But I was quirkless once. I understand your desire to be a hero, kid. I really do. But I don’t want to encourage you to end up like me. You have people who care about you. Just look at your wrist.”
Izuku looked down to notice the sleeve of his school uniform was scrunched up. There was writing on his arm. The two must have been talking again.
That damn nerd applied for UA. He is planning on going.
It’s nice to see someone who has passions.
I was hoping I would finally be rid of him.
Kats, why do you hate him so much? What did he ever do to you?
He’s a weak extra. I don’t want to be held down by him.
What if I’m just some weak extra?
You can’t be. You’re MY soulmate Damn it.
But you’ve never met me.
Guess we’ll find out when you make it into UA.
Guess we will.
<3 dumbass
Bye.
He read through the conversation and sighed. Should he explain it…? “All Might… There was a mistake. Fate made a mistake. I don’t have a soulmate.” He tried to argue.
“Kid, what do you mean you don’t have a soulmate? The proof is written right there on your arm. You have someone who loves you at the very least. I never had that. Or… If I did, they never wrote back.” All Might looked sad as he said this. “I can put my all into being a hero because I don’t have to worry about who I would be leaving behind.”
“They don’t know I exist…” Izuku’s emerald eyes glossed over with tears. He blinked them back as he tried to be strong for his idol.
“What? They? But there’s a whole conversation on your arm…?” All Might’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The skeleton of a man took Izuku’s wrist in his hand to examine the text on his arm. Then he looked even more confused.
“I’m a mistake. I have two soulmates. And one of them hates my guts. I’m that ‘damn nerd’. He wants me dead. He told me to kill myself. And now… Well if you think that I should give up on my dreams… Then what even is the point? Even the number one hero himself, All Might, my idol, thinks that I’m worthless. Why should I stay?” It would be easier for everyone…
Notes:
I am so sorry for forgetting to update! I got really busy at work. :(
Hope this chapter makes up for it...? I made it longer than I usually do.Also happy late birthday to our favorite broccoli boy. <3
Bye for now!
Chapter 5: Heroic Stupidity
Summary:
"When all hope seems lost... I look for the sparkle in your eyes. My sweet baby boy... You are my reason."
TW: Self-Harm
(Adding these b/c I didn't have it in the tags originally. It is there now though.)
Notes:
I cried while writing this. Not because of the story, but hey at least we can cry together. You're welcome.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The two stood on the rooftop, staring at one another. Neither knew what to say to the other. All Might watched as this small, green haired boy breathed heavily from the admission of his feelings, tears spilling down his face. Even through his own pain and sorrows, a shaky smile spread across his face. A testament to the boy’s strength and determination. Maybe… Just maybe, he could work with this.
Izuku stood with his feet planted firmly on the ground, waiting for his hero to respond. The skeleton of a man took a deep breath, then said something that was surprisingly sweet.. “Kid… look. Things will look up for you. Please… I don’t think you’re worthless. Stay alive, and I promise that this won’t be the last time we cross paths.”
The green haired boy was inconsolable. He had held so much back that it was like a flood of emotions. Everything hit him all at once. The smile still plastered on his face as a last ditch effort to appear okay. He was not. All Might approached, and wrapped his arms around the boy. He rubbed a soothing hand up and down his back. The scene was almost familial. The freckled boy rested his head on All Might’s chest. The skeletal man’s white shirt was dampened with the tears of the strange boy he had just met. The man didn’t care though. He saw something in the young boy. He saw himself.
Eventually, his sobs calmed, and he let himself be held. Broken hearted and bruised… He was living proof of the cruel and unfair nature of the world. And yet, despite all the unjust treatment, he was okay. He would be okay. Here in All Might’s embrace, he felt a strange sense of security that has been long ago abandoned. The nostalgic feeling of a warm embrace tugged at his heartstrings like a puppet master would a marionette. And he would be okay. Probably…
“Kid… What’s your name?” All Might asked. He didn’t let go of the embrace, waiting for this sad and broke kid before him to release first. He needed this hug more than the older man could ever know.
His answer came, voice raspy from crying, and barely above a whisper. “Midoriya… Izuku Midoriya.”
All Might chuckled. “Midoriya, eh? Well, young Midoriya, what do you say we get down from this rooftop? I have to get that villain to the police, but we will meet again. I’m going to be in Musutafu on business for the foreseeable future.” He patted Izuku’s back gently.
“Y- Yeah, okay.” Izuku took a deep breath, slowly releasing the embrace. All Might nodded, smiling sadly at the boy. The pair descended from the rooftop, and with a quick promise to the boy that he will be seen again, they went their separate ways. The green haired boy walked towards his apartment building, his beautiful green eyes trained on his bright red sneakers as they gently hit the pavement. As he pressed on, he heard a commotion. A crowd gathered up ahead. Izuku looked up to see what all the commotion was about.
His eyes widened in fear as he assessed the situation playing out before him. A familiar blonde boy was wrapped up in the familiar sludge of the villain he had encountered earlier. He was choking. Despite how hard the blonde tried to fight, Izuku knew that he was never going to be able to get away. That realization was almost as scary as the memories of being attacked himself. And the pros on the scene were doing nothing.
He couldn’t watch his soulmate die. The green haired boy sprung into action before he could even think. He ran through the crowd and towards the villain. His viridian green eyes locking with deep scarlet ones. Izuku ripped his bag from his shoulder, throwing it at what appeared to be his head. If he could distract the villain for long enough… Maybe he would let go.
The villain turned his attention to the scrawny green haired boy, laughing violently. He slightly released Bakugo, allowing him to get a nice deep breath in. “Deku?! You damn nerd! What the fuck–” His voice was cut off by nasty sewage green sludge forcing its way down his throat again. He coughed and choked around the suffocating slime. He might die. But then…
All Might burst forth from the crowd. He used his quirk to quickly take care of the situation. It was less than 10 seconds before he had the situation under control. Just as quickly as All Might had arrived, he disappeared. Police and first responders cleared up the scene. Bakugo was praised for being brave and strong. Izuku was scolded for his attempts to help, and the police chief told him something that would stick with him for a while. “You’re not a hero, so quit trying to act like it. That’s how you get yourself killed.”
Izuku headed home that night thinking about the scene. He shouldn’t have gotten involved… But nobody else was going to do anything. He couldn’t just stand there and watch. So if doing something while everyone else stood by idly was wrong, then Izuku didn’t want to be right. His soulmates had been writing to one another about the incident, but he couldn’t bring himself to care at the moment. Apathy… It wasn’t unwelcome. When he got home, Izuku’s mom was waiting for him. She quickly hugged him, tears rolling down her face. She was crying. “Mom, what’s wrong?” The green haired boy was very confused.
“Oh honey… I saw the news when I got home, and I noticed you weren’t here… Then I watched you run in after the villain. That was very brave! So stupid but incredibly brave and I just– I’m no proud of you. But I couldn’t help but think… What if I lost you?” Her crying was easing up now, but her emerald green eyes were still glossy with tears. She held her son tightly.
“Mom… I’m fine, really! But maybe it wouldn’t have been a bad thing if…” He trailed off, not even finishing the sentence. He didn’t mean to vocalize the thoughts that were brewing in his mind like a storm.
“What?” Inko sniffled, pulling back to look at her son. She looked him in the eyes. “Izuku, are you implying what I think you are?”
“Well– I mean it’s not.. Well. Kinda?” The freckled boy stumbled over his words, trying to backtrack.
“Honey… I know I’m usually busy with work, but you can ALWAYS talk to me. Okay? What’s going on in that head of yours? I will always make time for you.” She looked into his eyes and smiled softly at him, cupping his cheek with her hand affectionately.
“Yeah…” He sighed. He wanted to tell her… But he couldn’t. Not like this. Not right now. “I love you.” He smiled his usual bright smile at her.
She smiled back. “I love you too, baby boy. We can talk later. I’m going to start on dinner, okay?” Her voice was soft and soothing. He nodded.
Izuku slipped his red high tops back on the shoe rack, then headed back to his All Might shrine of a bedroom, hoping to find some solace under the familiar gaze of hundreds of tiny eyes. Even the Number one hero’s gaze couldn’t bring him comfort though. Izuku continued to think about everything that had happened that day. Their words were stuck in his mind, playing like a cacophonic broken record that wouldn’t shut up.
…up… ive up. give up. Give up. Give Up. GIVE UP.
Izuku turned to music, hoping to drown out the thoughts in his head with something real. Something he could change at will. He pressed play on the first playlist, and the familiar words started. He laid back on his bed, green curls that really needed to be cut bunching up like a mop. “I don’t wanna die or fade away… I just wanna be someone.” He closed his eyes, the words washing over him. “I just wanna be someone…”
As the song played on, the words started to hit him in the heart. What he hoped would serve as a distraction ended up opening the curtain hiding the way he was truly feeling. He sang along as the chorus hit, letting his built up emotions release. “And if the sun starts to set and the sky goes cold, then if clouds get heavy and start to fall, I really need somebody to call my own… I wanna be somebody to someone… Someone to you…” He thought of Kacchan, and that was it. As the song played on, he listened solemnly. He was still caught up in that stupid dream that he could mean something to the blonde.
The next song rang through the room, and he couldn’t do it anymore. “This night is cold in the kingdom, I can feel you fade away from the kitchen to the bathroom sink… Your steps keep me awake.” And just as he had earlier, his body was moving on its own. “Don't cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste. I once was a man with sympathy and grace…” Sock clad feet padded across the carpet and to his desk. Deep breath in…
He took hold of his pencil sharpener… Studying the familiar image of All Might printed on the front. It was well loved. Breath out. He took the lid off, revealing the two tiny blades. He carried the object back to his bed, sitting back down beside his phone. The music was still playing, oblivious to what was happening. “Now I’m slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace. So please, please… Could you find a way to let me down slowly?” Deep breath in. He removed one of the blades. Setting the pencil sharpener back down. “A little sympathy I hope you could show me” Deep breath out. He pressed the cool metal against the skin of his wrist. Then without much thought, he slid the blade across his wrist. Once. Twice… he lost count.
The pain as the blood beaded on his wrist reminded him that he was like everyone else. Quirk or not, he was human. And he bled all the same. The red started to smear across his wrist, forming lines. Deeper… Deeper. He just couldn’t stop. Until a sudden change in music caught his attention. An upbeat song started playing across the room, and he realized what he had done. He panicked. This wasn’t the first time he tried it, but it was the first time it was somewhere visible. He has gone for the ankle before, so his socks would hide the signs of his struggles from his sweet and caring mother. She was stressed enough…
But this? She wouldn’t be able to ignore it. He had to tell her. He joined her in the kitchen just as she placed dinner on the table. She saw his expression, and instantly knew. His mom’s big emerald eyes met his own. “Izuku…? Sweetie, what's wrong?” She set the big wooden spoon down on the counter, looking him over.
He looked to his feet, sighing. “Mom… I’m sorry.” His voice was weak and barely a whisper. He was holding back tears.
“Sorry? What for?” She approached him slowly. He said nothing, just showing her what he had just done. Some of the blood was fresh on his wrist. Her eyes widened and she grabbed his arm to inspect it cautiously. She was at a loss for words. “...why?”
“Mom… I just didn’t know what to do anymore. I’m just so tired all the time! All the time. And I just… I don't know.” Izuku knew that his mom would understand, but he didn’t want her to think it was her fault.
“Izuku… Baby why didn’t you come to me? We could’ve talked about it. I just- I don’t understand why.” She let go of his wrist, wetting a paper towel and began wiping away the blood.
“I guess I just felt hopeless. I don’t really have one reason. The kids at school have been bullying me and today was a lot to deal with. I guess I just hit a breaking point. I tried not to mom, I really did. But…” the freckled boy paused, taking in a shaky breath. “Mom… What do you do when you feel hopeless? What’s your reason to keep going?”
“Oh sweetheart. It’ll be alright. We’ll get through this.” Inko pauses, taking a deep breath. She wiped his wrist clean of blood, then held him in a comforting embrace. "When all hope seems lost... I look for the sparkle in your eyes. My sweet baby boy... You are my reason." She ran her fingers through his hair. He then realized something that he should’ve known all along. No matter what happened, his mom would be behind him. Even if the whole world was against him, no matter how many times he was knocked down, she would put him back on his feet. Izuku finally felt the weight of everything he had been carrying come crashing down on him all at once. And he cried into his mom’s arms.
She held him as long as he needed. And she would be waiting there to help pick up the pieces when he was ready.
Notes:
It's not all hurt. Though I will warn you I'm not great at the whole "comfort" thing. I primarily read hurt/no comfort and dead dove. The actual soulmate content is coming soon, I promise!! I'm a fan of stories that take a while. Maybe 1-2 more chapters before he is at UA. I do apologize for my absence, being this feral takes a great deal of effort. cujwjfcqefchwefyhbqehfhhqef
Until next time, my beloved readers.
(Also I definitely did cry about the story when I did a quick edit. :P)
Songs mentioned: Somebody To You - BANNERS, Let Me Down Slowly - Alec Benjamin.
Chapter Text
The Midoriyas’ display of tears and affection would seem absurd to the average family, but emotional vulnerability was heavily encouraged in their household. So Inko and Izuku cried, and talked, and laughed… And cried some more. And at the end of the evening, Izuku felt better. He wasn’t perfect, and he wasn’t ever going to be the same as Katsuki or any other hero for that matter. But he was himself, and that’s what really counted. The green haired boy went to his room after a long conversation with his mom feeling refreshed and loved. His mother, on the other hand, was stressed beyond your wildest imagination. But I digress. Izuku was wiping his wrist down to clean the cuts… And that’s when he saw it; The soulmate writing. Usually that wouldn’t bother him too much. Only the things that they had said made Izuku’s stomach turn.
Hah!? Shoto are you okay? What is this?
I was about to ask you the same thing. It looks like blood, Kats. Did you do this?
No! Why would I? Did you?
Well it would only appear if it was intentional.
Are you implying what I think you are?
Well, I certainly wouldn’t hurt myself, if that’s what you’re asking.
I didn’t either. Why do you think I did?
It’s the only logical explanation.
The fuck?
Just know I’m here for you.
Yeah… Same.
They knew. Izuku felt like he was going to be sick. He wouldn’t have done it if he had known. Why hadn’t anyone told him? His green eyes watered and his lip wobbled. Izuku had to get himself together. He couldn’t even choose to hurt himself without his stupid soulmate mark telling on him. He hated it. Izuku sank down onto his floor, pulled his knees up to his chest, and he cried. What was he gonna do now? The lines weren’t going to go away, were they? What if his soulmates’ wrists were scarred too?
At least for now, Shoto and Katsuki were blaming each other. He had to be careful going forward. Izuku just wanted to cut away the reminders that the world threw in his face. The reminders that he would never be normal. But that choice had to be taken away from him too. What could he even choose anymore? Izuku didn’t know. He decided to finish his homework, then go to sleep. Math, Reading, and History swirled through his mind as he drifted off to sleep. At least homework served as a good distraction. Unusually though, the freckled boy had a dream, and a vivid one at that. But there was something else… This dream was a memory.
Izuku sat in the sandbox. He was building a little castle for his All Might action figure. All Might was basically a princess, he reasoned, so princesses needed a castle. Izuku was more than happy to oblige, adding pebbles and little pieces of grass to make the castle look pretty. One of his friends from the apartment has shown him her princess films recently, and explained that princesses were kind to everyone. All Might was kind to everyone. Izuku’s castle was sticking surprisingly well. That’s because the young boy had discovered that if he poured some of the water from his All Might water bottle onto the sand, it would stay. He was very proud of his discovery, though he didn’t know why it did that. Maybe Mommy knew…? He would have to ask her when they got home.
The young boy was suddenly pulled from his thoughts when he saw a pair of feet appearing in his vision. There were two small feet in black sneakers standing beside him. A small hand tapped him on the shoulder. “Can I sit here?” The green haired boy nodded, moving back a bit to see the figure next to him. The boy with spiky blonde hair and scarlet eyes.
“Kacchan! Hi!” Izuku smiled. He had only played with the boy a little bit, but Izuku considered him a friend. The blonde studied him carefully, before squinting his eyes.
“Hang on a second.” The blonde ordered, then ran off as fast as his little legs could carry him. That was weird. Izuku resumed working on his sand castle like nothing had happened. He didn’t want to leave All Might without a home. Eventually, he heard Kaccahn running back towards him. He sat down in the sand beside Izuku. “Izu,” He panted, kinda out of breath. “Your hair looks like grass.” He states matter-of-factly.
“Uhm… Thanks?” Questioned Izuku. He didn’t know how to feel about that statement. While yes, his hair was green, was it really that comparable to grass? He didn’t really know. He stared at the scarlet eyed boy, waiting for him to explain.
“So… here.” Katsuki held his hand out. Grasped in his small fist was a flower. “Put this in your hair.” He smiled, a bright and sharp-toothed smile. Izuku reached out to take the flower, studying it carefully. He felt warm and fuzzy. Izuku then looked up at the blonde boy.
“Kacchan?”
“Hm?” The blonde replied. “Just put the damn flowers in your hair or whatever. You’re such a dumbass.”
“Well… you do it?” The green haired boy asked nervously.
“Oh whatever. Give me the damn thing.” The small blonde ripped the flower out of the paler boy’s hand, placing it in his hair. “There. Now you look pretty or something.” he mumbled.
As Izuku began to wake up, the memory faded into nothing. Reality began to set in once again. His All Might alarm clock happily declared “I AM HERE TO WAKE YOU UP!” as it does every weekday morning, 6am. He checks his phone. Saturday. Izuku forgot to turn it off. He internally curses himself for not remembering. The freckled boy rubs the sleep from his eyes, hissing at the pain in his wrist. He glances down, remembering what had happened. This time, the boy had a thought. Izuku, on an impulse, picked up a black pen. He drew a flower on his wrist. Izuku immediately regretted it, but there was no taking it back now. Maybe Kacchan would think of the same memory he had just dreamed about… Or maybe the blonde would think of Shoto… Izuku wasn’t sure. But either way, what’s done is done.
Izuku got dressed, and went to his mom’s room. He opened the door gently to see her gently to see her putting a sweater on over her nice blouse. “Hey mom… Going to work today?” He asked, though Izuku already knew the answer.
“Unfortunately, yes… I’m sorry sweet boy,” she sighs. Her expression is tired. “Can you do the grocery shopping today?” She continues to get dressed, sitting down to put her socks on. Izuku wishes that he could help her. So he nods. “That’s my little hero. I left some money out on the table, and a list. Call me if you need anything, yeah?”
“Yeah mom. I love you.” The freckled boy says. He secretly wishes that his mother could be at home with him, but knows why she can’t.
“I love you too.” She smiles, then stands up and gives him a hug. After a few seconds, she rushes to the door, slipping on her shoes and taking her leave.
Now what? Izuku decided to grab a banana for breakfast, and go for a run to clear his head. Maybe afterwards he would be able to focus on groceries. As he went on his run, he ran into none other than the number one hero. Again. Internally, Izuku groaned.
“Ah, my boy! Just who I was looking for!” All Might exclaimed. His smile was wide and bright; It looked like bullshit to Izuku. He looked at the man he had admired all his life, and did something that just yesterday, would have been out of character. Izuku rolled his eyes. He stepped around the pro hero, and walked on. “Wait! Just hear me out!”
Izuku took a deep breath, and stopped. Despite his current distaste for the hero, the green haired boy couldn’t just forget years of excitement and love for All Might. So he stopped, and he turned back to face the taller man. “Fine. 30 minutes.”
All Might seemed grateful. “When I said that you couldn’t be a hero, I was just trying to protect you. But I see now that you don’t need protection.” Izuku seemed taken aback by that. He looked at All Might, studying him for a lie. He found none. The two talked for much of the day. All Might helped Izuku get his groceries, and in the end, Izuku agreed. He would be All Might’s successor.
By the end of the day, neither of his soulmates had mentioned anything about the flower; That was okay with Izuku. He had almost forgotten it. But when he glanced down, there was a blue flower beside his black one. Izuku smiled to himself.
Notes:
Y'all, I'm so sorry that I have been away. I'm writing this in class. I just got finished with a renovation project. My classmate CJ has asked me to say that he has nice handwriting. (He was watching me type this, and I while I was trying to pay attention in class, I accidentally typed that about midway through the chapter. So it makes the author's notes.) If you're here from discord or tiktok, hi! :3
Chapter 7: Admissions
Chapter Text
Being a successor was incredibly difficult, as you may imagine. Izuku spends many long, laborious days following a strict training plan, specially curated by the number one hero himself. Any kid with a head full of outlandish visions of being a hero would beg for this opportunity, though few would actually have the perseverance to follow through. Izuku had a lot of work to do if he was going to be ready to inherit All Might’s quirk.
He poured his all into his training, day after day. He did everything that All Might asked of him. Every rest break, diet change, silly routine… The certainty of it all was soothing to his aching mind. The more busy the green haired boy was, the less he had to think. Since he believed his life worthless anyway, he didn’t mind throwing hours upon hours of it away to chase a dream that even he himself believed to be futile. It was, at the very least, a nice break from the monotony he had grown so accustomed to. After months of this familiar repetition, he was ready.
So as Izuku stood shirtless on the beach, his toes in the sand in the feeble hours of the morning, he thought that he was ready for it all. Every bruise, every insult, every drop of sweat… All of his pain and hard work was for this moment. All Might stood before the freckled teen in his muscle form. He stood tall and proud. After a short exchange of praises, Izuku was shocked.
The hero stood before him, Izuku’s idol, reached up to his head, plucking a singular strand of golden blonde hair from the rest, holding it out to the awaiting, and confused, boy. “Eat this!” The pro hero happily exclaims. Now even this was too much for Izuku, who puts up with too much bullshit on the regular, Midoriya.
“Um… What?” Izuku deadpans. He is just so done. So incredibly done. He is going to UA for the entrance exam today, and after months of hope and promises, all he gets is this idolized idiot telling him to eat a hair? No fucking thank you.
“Look just,” All Might sighed. He was never the best at explaining things. “To inherit my power, you have to ingest some of my genetic material. I just thought this was the best way to…” he trails off. The man shone like a star in front of a microphone, but behind the scene, he really was just a bumbling idiot. Luckily for Izuku, he’s an expert on dumb luck. So, despite his better judgment, Izuku reaches his pale hand forward, grabbing the golden strand of hair from his idol. Then, along with his pride, Izuku swallows the hair.
Now that he had made a complete idiot of himself… It was off to the entrance exam.
The entrance exam went really well for Izuku! If your definition of “really well” is the equivalent of sitting inside a burning dumpster. He sat next to Kacchan during the introduction and written portion, and was yelled at by a boy with robotic and strange arm movements. The practical didn’t go much better. Izuku broke almost every bone in his body, only to receive zero points. ZERO points. Sure, he protected the others, but without enough points it didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to get into UA and he would let All Might down. Katsuki was right… Izuku never should have applied.
The green haired boy moped around his bedroom. Laying in bed and staring at the ceiling was all he could do to avoid the constant gaze of the All Might merch staring down on him. His phone buzzed on his nightstand, but he couldn’t be bothered to read the messages. He let All Might down. That’s it. Izuku’s career was over before it could even begin, and it’s all thanks to that stupid hope of his.
Hope is a feeble concept that many choose to place upon a pedestal, or hold close to their chest. Izuku prefers to stuff his in a cage, shove it in a closet, and never see it again. Hope is a mischievous little thing, weaseling its way into your mind and planting itself in your heart like a weed until it has consumed your very being. Unlike most, Izuku typically rejects it, avoiding hope altogether as if it’s a snare trap. And as far as he’s concerned, it is.
The next few days progressed like this. The school break made it easy for Izuku to laze about, ignoring the world around him to wallow in self pity. He hadn’t even found himself curious enough to glance at his soulmate writing. Perhaps he shouldn’t have let All Might talk him down. Stupid All Might. Izuku pulled the cover over his head to cry without the audience. How ironic that he was indirectly watched by the gaze and unwavering smile of the very man he was trying to avoid. Pulling him from his thoughts, his mother knocked on the door.
“Izuku..? You have some mail.” His mother called. Her voice was sweet and calm, though there was an obvious undertone of worry to it. It was as if she wanted to express her concern without allowing her mind to be eaten up by the sensation. She tended to overworry at the worst of times, something that she unknowingly passed along to him. Inko stood in the doorway, holding a plain white envelope with a red wax seal. Typically, wax seals meant something very formal. Izuku had never seen one in person before, though he seldom received letters from anyone that weren’t stuffed inside his locker.
“Thanks mom, just… leave it on my desk,” the boy mumbles, eyes just barely peeking over his blanket. She looks like she wants to say something, but she hesitates. The words are caught in her throat. Inko sweeps her dark green hair behind her ear, taking a moment to study her son’s barely visible face. After a stalemate, both wanting to say something, but neither quite able to string the words together, she sighs. The concerned mother sets the letter on his desk. She then quietly retreats.
The brief interaction holds far more weight than the few exchanged words. The saying goes that actions speak louder than words. The weight here is spoken not by actions or words, but the unsaid thoughts hanging in the air. How easy it would be for Izuku to cling to his mother like he did as a boy, crying into her shoulder. How Inko wants to spill her worries about her son out to him and hold the boy. Both left these ideas untouched, and just like that, the two had a rift driven between them.
Izuku rolled over, ignoring the letter by falling into a deep, dreamless sleep. Despite the previous days he had spent in his room, there was something different, more difficult even, about it today. The longer he tried to ignore the letter, the more it consumed his every waking thought. It had to be a rejection letter… Right? But what if it wasn’t. Eventually, the green haired boy managed to muster up enough courage to get out of bed to look at the letter. That, and he also had to piss.
He took care of the piss thing first, which is probably for the best. Coming back into his room, Izuku stalled in the doorway, pale hands shaking a bit as he tried to decide… Letter or bed? He stood there contemplating it for what felt like ages. His body started moving towards the desk, one foot in front of the other, as he was lost in a maze of his own thoughts. Soon enough, Izuku looked down to see that mockingly pristine white envelope in his hands. He sighed, flipping it over and considering it in his hands. Then he opened it.
Much to his surprise, instead of a pristine and formal rejection letter, out slid an odd looking disk with a singular button on top. He stared at the oddity, now sat atop his desk. It could be a trick from his classmates. Maybe they decided to play a trick on him after finding out he actually took the entrance exam. Upon studying the disk more closely, it was well put together. The UA logo was engraved on the bottom. It’s unlikely that middle school students would have access to such high quality equipment, Izuku reasoned. Finally, his curiosity could contain itself no more. He pressed the button.
The disk made a subtle whirring sound, then a projected video appeared out of the top. All Might suddenly appeared in a close up of his face. His voice projected loudly into the dark, once quiet room. “Boo-Ya! I am here as a projection!” It loudly proclaimed. The camera panned out to reveal All Might, standing strong in the ugliest yellow suit Izuku had ever seen. A stark contrast from the disheveled, skeletal looking man he had seen on the rooftop. The freckled boy bit his lip as he waited to hear the news that was inevitable. This was certainly the most unique manner to deliver a rejection letter.
The projection carried on to give Izuku a personalized message, explaining All Might’s new position as a faculty member. All Might’s proud smile is plastered on his face as he continues, “Even though you passed the written test, you got ZERO combat points on the practical exam.” Despite the statement, Izuku wasn’t surprised. All Might only stated the obvious. Still though, Izuku watched with awe, his bright green eyes focused on the man he had always called his hero. All Might then rolls a video clip, showing another student offering to give up her points.
WHAT?! Give up her points..? To him? He couldn’t believe it. After a short pause, All Might proceeded to explain the practical was focused on combat, however it takes more than just combat to encompass hero work. He explains the other criteria set into place with a smile, and finally explains that he has earned 60 points. “Welcome, Izuku.” His large hand reaches out toward the camera, as if inviting him directly. Izuku stood, frozen in place, with tears running down his face. Tears of joy. He did it, he really did it! From this day forward, Izuku was on his way to becoming a hero, or perhaps most importantly, making All Might proud.
Notes:
My best friend got a passing grade on her Organic Chemistry test, so this chapter is for her. I am so proud of her istg. Chapter 8 in the works, bye for now lovelies!
(It's spring break this week, so hopefully more writing time hehehehhehe >:3)
Chapter 8: Maybe..?
Summary:
…But however you live your life, live one that you won’t regret.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Izuku, now with a renewed sense of self-worth from the news, finally found the strength to look at his phone. He had several missed calls and texts from All Might, which he presumed were from missing his training. He chose to ignore that situation for now, calling his mom to tell her it was, in fact, an acceptance letter. The freckled teen informed his mother that he would be going out to celebrate with some ‘friends,’ and that he would be home later. He didn’t have any friends, but of course, he didn’t want his mom to know that. Crying runs in the family, and his heart hurts to see her tear up. Izuku was going to go out, but not to find his non-existent friends. He had to apologize to All Might for missing training.
Izuku returned to the beach that the two had made an effort to clear up. A radiant smile spread across his face once again, because for the first time in years, people were on the beach. He surveyed the area, and suddenly, the world seemed to make a bit more sense. Even if he didn’t know how to use his borrowed quirk, he could learn. The boy with the emerald eyes approached the water, toes in the warm sand. He looked down at his reflection. The muscles that he built, mostly hidden under his t-shirt, the slimmer face shape… HE did this. He made it so people could enjoy the beach again. Izuku wasn’t just some kid anymore. He was starting to become a hero. Maybe Izuku didn’t need his name spelled in lights to make himself a hero.
He glanced down at his wrist for the first time in a few days. The scars that definitely matched his soul mates’ were there. He couldn’t undo what had been done. Despite ignoring the two boys for a few days, Izuku never stopped thinking about them. Kacchan, and his strong-willed passion, willing to do anything to achieve his dreams… And Shoto, who he would soon come to know. The boy was always kind, though his responses could come off a little cold. Izuku didn’t mind. The green haired boy with the sunshine smile had to wonder.. Where did he fit in? Opposites attract. Hotheaded and cold… Explosive and calm… They were opposites in every way he could figure. Izuku wasn’t a match. He was a thunderstorm in the middle of summer. Disappointing, but sometimes helpful. He was neither hot nor cold. Beside the two, who Izuku reasoned would be heroes who could outshine all the stars in the night sky, he was simply a candle… Waiting to be extinguished.
Izuku was pulled from his thoughts by a pair of skeletal feeling arms wrapping around him from behind. Izuku jolted at the sensation. Fear surged through his body instantaneously, heart rate rising. When he finally regained his bearings, he looked back to see the man who had mentored him through the past few months. He smiled widely in greeting. “Hey All Might!” Despite having been scared, the freckled boy was happy to see his mentor.
All Might immediately huffed as a response. “Young Midoriya, where have you been! I’ve been worried sick.” He let go of the younger boy, walking around to face Izuku. All Might looked a little worse for wear. His eyes were sunken and he looked like he hadn’t slept in years. The stress caused by not hearing from Izuku seemed to be getting to him. Izuku’s eyes drifted to the floor as he muttered a string of apologies. It wasn’t that the freckled boy didn’t expect All Might to be upset, but rather that he expected the man to not care. It was strange, having someone worry about him. Someone other than his mother that is. The thought of letting his idol down had his stomach twisting in knots. Tears wobbled in the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill down his freckled cheeks. Anger, he could’ve taken. But disappointment felt like his heart was being ripped out and stomped on.
Izuku’s breathing picked up, coming in quick and shallow breaths. He couldn’t get enough oxygen. Each breath was a desperate plea from his lungs. The freckled boy pulled his arms up to his chest as the tight feeling set in. All Might stood, watching in mild confusion, before realizing. The teen was having a panic attack. “Young Midoriya, breathe. In and out.” He wasn’t the most comforting, but maybe the Pro’s presence would be enough.
All Might wasn’t really helping. Izuku sat on the edge of the sand, his toes still in the water. All Might sat beside him. Izuku leaned into the older man, trying to accept his shitty comfort. It took a while, but hearing the subtle waves and feeling the water on his feet helped. Izuku reveled in the feeling of just existing for the first time in a long time. He wasn’t "Quirkless Deku” or ‘shitty nerd.” Here, Izuku was nothing. And that was okay by him.
When Izuku’s breathing evened out, All Might spoke again. “Kid, I’m not mad. I was just worried, y’know? I’m glad to see you.” The skeletal hero looked out over the water, watching as the waves rolled in and out. The cyclical nature of the waves match the nature of One For All. Inherited, learned, mastered, passed on. In this place, the cycle started anew. Inherited… Izuku inherited a quirk that he was sure he wasn't supposed to have, and with that, the path ahead of him lay uncertain. Something only the hands of fate could write.
Maybe the rest of his story lay unwritten, abandoned to time… Lost, and waiting for the freckled boy to grab the pen to fill in the rest. Or maybe it was etched in the stars long before his birth. Either way, Izuku realized that he would finally do something with his life. Make a name for himself. Maybe he could find love with a pet, or defy the invisible strings binding everyone's heart to another and make his own happiness. No matter what fate had in store for him, he was ready.
“Uh… Young Midoriya..?” All Might inquired, his expression morphing into one of confusion. He had long given up on trying to follow the freckled teen’s ramblings. The symbol of peace has tried, but eventually the point is lost. The younger had a tendency to ramble when he was spiraling, his mind taking control and moving faster than anyone could easily comprehend.
Izuku seemed to be pulled from his thoughts easily enough. “AH- sorry All Might! I got a little carried away there.” A slight pink hue spreads across the boy’s pale, freckled cheeks, his embarrassment now showing on his face. The teen turned his attention back to the water, the subtle waves serving as a distraction. He reached out and brushed the surface with his hand.
All Might mimicked his action, combing his sickly, boney hands through the water. He sighed heavily. “I remember when this place used to look just like this. I was a teenager then, not much older than yourself.” The older hero seemed to be reminiscing about a life he used to have. Izuku continued to brush his fingertips across the surface of the water as he listened to All Might’s story. “I used to come here a lot as a boy. I’ve been away for so long… protecting other people… That I didn’t protect the memories I made, and the friendships I had built here.”
Izuku seemed to think that over. He knew that for some, a hero’s path was a lonely one, sure, but the rewarding feeling of saving others might make it alright. Heroes sacrifice a lot to be where they are. Talk about a lack of work-life balance. Izuku wasn’t too concerned with life though. His own was pointless until now, so why does it matter? Throwing himself wholeheartedly at his goal of being a hero was the freckled teen’s way of apologizing to the world for his birth.
The older hero seemed to take the heavy silence as an invitation to continue. “Look kid… I’ve spent my whole life as a hero. I think my biggest regret was in doing so, I forgot to live. If you’re serious about this whole hero thing, don’t forget to live while you still have the chance.” All Might takes Izuku’s forearm in his hand, brushing over the conversation written across the skin. “I’m not here to make choices for you… But however you live your life, live one that you won’t regret.”
Live a life you won’t regret… The thought stayed with the green haired boy as he stared out at the ocean. Even long past when All Might had gone home, Izuku was pondering what his idol, turned mentor, had said. His eyes dared to wander down to the conversation on his wrist.
You better not be a disappointment.
My father said the same thing when I was born.
HA fucking Ha. I’m serious.
You’ll just have to wait to see.
I don’t like waiting.
I know. You’ll live, Kats.
>:(
<3
… <3
Izuku rolled his emerald green eyes. The conversation was so Kacchan. It had his snark and his impatience. Katsuki wanted things quickly, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t willing to work for them. Actually, he hated handouts and sympathy. Izuku had learned that himself long before he knew they were soulmates. This version of Kacchan, though, was a special version reserved only for Shoto. A version of Kacchan that Izuku himself used to see. A softer side of him. Sometimes, the freckled teen found himself wishing that he could be spoken to that sweetly again.
Izuku sighed, seeing the moon had risen, and the streetlights had blinked to life. He rose to his feet and began the journey home, thoughts of All Might’s words and his soulmates, though admittedly just Kacchan, swirled through his mind. Maybe he would live a successful life as a hero, in a life of solitude. Maybe he would find love. Maybe he would find happiness. Maybe he would live with no regrets, or maybe he would regret everything. Maybe…
Notes:
I am so sorry for the long wait! Transitional chapters are hard because I just want it to hurt already!! Stay tuned my lovelies! <3
Also, cosplay prop making is fun.
~ Abyssal Waters
Chapter 9: Yay for UA
Summary:
It's Izuku's first day at UA! Yay! Except his two soulmates are in his class. Less yay.
Notes:
RAAAAAHHHH I wanted to post this yesterday, but maintenance. ;-;
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The rest of the school break was filled with lots of anxiety and excitement. Izuku paid some, but very little attention to the conversation on his wrist. He learned that Kacchan was anxious about it himself. The explosive teen wasn’t anxious about classes though. His grades were top of his class, and his confidence was still through the roof. No, the thing that made the explosive blonde nervous was the same thing that ate at Izuku’s thoughts and kept him up at night. Kacchan, his Kacchan, Katsuki, scared of nothing, Bakugou was worried about meeting Shoto.
Many things in life were untouchable; Pro Heroes, billionaires, Potassium Cyanide, that one stall in the boy’s bathroom… Untouchable for a variety of reasons, but untouchable nonetheless. Pro Heroes and billionaires are held to a socially different standard of life, Potassium Cyanide and the boy’s bathroom stall could potentially kill you, but Katsuki Bakugou… The green haired boy regards him as untouchable because of his tenacity, confidence, and ability to unapologetically take up space. The freckled teen held his former friend in a higher position than All Might himself sometimes. To see someone as untouchable as Kacchan with the same anxiety that he himself felt was almost unheard of.
So, when the green haired teen crossed the threshold of his new classroom on his first day at UA, he was nervous. Izuku had taken extra precautions when ordering his school uniforms. He made sure the wrist cuffs fit tightly enough they wouldn’t ride up, because he couldn’t risk anyone finding out his secret. After a scary introduction with Iida, a boy whose arms were too stiff to be fully human, he found himself in a cheery conversation with the girl he had met at the entrance exam. The one who so generously offered to give up her points for him.
“Oh… I thought I was running late, but the teacher isn’t even here yet.” She turned to face Izuku, her brown hair was neatly styled. She waves. “Hey! I met you at the entrance exam. I’m Ochaco Uraraka.” Uraraka extends her hand for Izuku to shake.
Izuku takes her hand. “Izuku Midoriya. N- Nice to meet you!” Izuku had never really been good at talking to girls before. They made him nervous. Despite the world becoming more accepting of gay soulmates, Izuku couldn’t help but think about what things would’ve been like if he had been her soulmate instead. She was cute. Maybe she didn’t have a soulmate.
She looked around the classroom. “I wonder where the teacher is. A bit of a bad impression to show up late to his own class on the first day, don’tchya think?” Uraraka’s eyes darted around at the minimal classroom decor. The room looked fairly plain, aside from a picture frame on the teacher’s desk, a coffee maker in the back of the room, and a mug with the logo of Present Mic’s famous radio show, “Put Your Hands Up Radio” sitting beside the coffee maker.
“Y-yeah. That is kinda weird.” Izuku’s freckled cheeks were painted a bright pink in embarrassment over talking to this girl. Why should he be nervous? He wasn’t destined to love her. Maybe the universe truly did make a mistake. His eyes darted to her wrist, looking for any sign of soulmate writing. When he didn’t see any, the blush deepened.
Uraraka’s confused expression morphed into concern, but before she could say anything, a voice spoke up from behind them. The voice was masculine, clearly a man, but it wasn’t obvious where it was coming from. “If you’re just here to make friends, then you can pack up your stuff now.” The two turned to face the hall, where the voice was coming from.
Laying on the floor was a scruffy looking man in an obnoxiously yellow sleeping bag. He looked homeless if you didn’t know any better. The yellow sleeping bag made him look like an oversized caterpillar, and the sight was honestly horrifying. “Welcome to UA’s hero course,” the man said, his tone uninterested. He unzipped the sleeping bag a little, and his long, raven black hair came tumbling out. He raised one of those squeeze jelly packets to his mouth and ate the contents. After slurping down the jelly pack, he sheds his sleeping bag like some kind of cocoon, and rises to his feet.
The man has on a black outfit that looks to be just sweats and a sweater. He has a support belt around his waist that has small pouches, likely containing handcuffs and first aid supplies. It’s common for pros to wear them. He has a scarf around his neck and shoulders. Izuku, of course, recognizes him immediately as pro hero Eraserhead, though he is too distracted by the man’s disheveled appearance to really process that he is in the presence of a pro. “I’m Shouta Aizawa. I’ll be your teacher.” His voice is monotonous and uninterested.
Iida, Uraraka, and Izuku turn to see that most of the class has already taken their seats, and proceed to quietly find a place to sit. Izuku takes the opportunity to survey his peers. He instantly recognized Kacchan, but was having a hard time discerning where Shoto was. He knew that his two soulmates were both in the class with him, as they mentioned it during their countless conversations.
As Mr. Aizawa droned on about his expectations and classroom procedures, Izuku took notes, though his mind was wandering elsewhere. He noticed Kacchan held a red sharpie in his hand, and his heart began to race. He surveyed the room to see if anyone else held a blue marker, but to his disappointment, no. The teen sighed quietly, not daring for even a second to uncover his wrist. He was so curious about what was being written, but if he took even just a small peek, his secret could be out.
After a moment of silence, Mr. Aizawa finally announced to everyone to get their gym uniforms and get changed. First week placement tests didn’t seem too out of the ordinary, Izuku reasoned. He followed the class in what he was supposed to be doing. When he pulled the gym uniform top out of his bag, his entire demeanor changed. Short sleeves. Of fucking course it has short sleeves. His eyes begin to well up with tears as he stares at the short sleeved gym uniform top. One of the other boys in the locker room seems to notice, and walks over to him.
“Why are you crying?” His voice was blunt, cold, and even toned, but at least he spoke quietly. Izuku’s gaze rose to see who was talking to him. A teen about his height, pale-ish skin, with split toned hair was in front of him. His left side had red hair, but the right was a pure, snow white. His hair could’ve been dyed, but it could also be natural. There was a girl in his class with pink skin, so anything was really possible. The boy had a scar over his left eye, which looked to be from some kind of burn. His left eye was a bright, mesmerizing blue, while his right eye was an icy gray.
A subtle blush crossed Izuku’s face, his embarrassment evident. “I- uh…” Think Izuku, think. “I got something in my eye! I wasn’t careful when opening the package and…” his voice trailed off as his gaze settled on the other’s wrist. He saw there was some writing, but he didn’t get a good enough look before the boy turned away. The split-haired boy walked away, though he appeared a moment later with a small, white wash cloth.
His hand extended to offer it to Izuku. “This might help.” His tone was still cold and even though he didn’t seem to be aggressive. He was actually rather nice. Izuku held the rag to his eye for a minute to keep up the lie. After he was done, he looked through his bag for something to hide his wrist. Upon coming up with nothing, the green haired teen decided to just put on the gym uniform. He couldn’t just disobey orders. The strange boy came back. “Oh. You’re better.”
“Yeah! Thanks so much. I’m Izuku Midoriya.” Izuku introduced himself to his classmate. His smile was bright and warm. Despite the colder tone of the other boy, Izuku’s emerald eyes sparkled, his entire demeanor aglow with the possibility of new friendships. “Oh- I never caught your name.”
He watched the other boy’s face, getting distracted by his dazzling blue eye, then back to the icy gray one. A mystery of a person that would surely make a good friend. “Shoto Todoroki. But call me Shoto.” With that, the boy walked away, leaving Izuku’s mind racing to catch up.
Shoto Todoroki. As in Endeavor’s son Todoroki. As the son of the number two hero Todoroki. He must have a strong quirk… Endeavor has a fire quirk, so maybe Shoto has… WAIT. Shoto. As in Shoto in class 1-A Shoto, as in… his- no. Kacchan’s soulmate Shoto. Izuku had just met his soulmate. At least the boy seemed to be oblivious to being soulmates. As the thoughts swirled through his mind, he decided there and then that he couldn’t be friends with the icy teen. No matter how much his heart longed for it, the friendship would only lead to heartache. His smile faded, thinking about those words All Might had said a few weeks ago…
“I’m not here to make choices for you… But however you live your life, live one that you won’t regret.”
While it sounded like good advice, Izuku wasn’t really sure what decisions he would and wouldn’t regret in the end. How can one reasonably expect to predict how much they will regret a choice? What if he came to regret inheriting All Might’s quirk? What if he told Kacchan and Shoto, then ended up regretting it? What if they regretted finding out? The boy with the sunshine smile once again plastered a smile upon his face, then left the locker room. No regrets… Time to work towards becoming number one.
Despite giving it his all in the initial skill assessments, Izuku couldn’t even begin to measure up to his classmates. Sure, he had the raw strength, but unchecked he landed himself straight in Recovery Girl’s office. Aizawa was less than impressed, though he was a curious man. Whether he let Izuku stay by some stupid luck or for his own amusement was yet to be seen, but the borrowed-quirk user was relieved all the same. After an earful from Recovery Girl about being more careful, and an uncomfortable healing session, Izuku was sent back to class.
When he walked in the door, head held high with false confidence, he was shocked to see a swarm of his classmates ready to greet him. The most notable among the group, a boy with sharp teeth, literally red, spiky hair, and a cheerful personality. “Woah! I’m glad you are alright. You were so manly out there. I'm Ejirou Kirishima.” He smiled a pointy grin.
Izuku..? Manly? On what planet was Izuku considered manly? His self doubt swirled through his mind like a raging storm. His emerald eyes shifted down to his bandaged wrist for a moment, the thought crossing his mind before remembering the result of last time. The bandages from Recovery Girl might serve as a good cover for his soulmate writing during training, and for the low low price of breaking some bones. So, swallowing his anxieties, he smiled back at Kirishima. “I- It wasn’t really that manly. I’m Izuku Midoriya.”
Kirishima embraced Izuku in a half hug, pulling him further into the room. A variety of his male classmates introduced themselves and engaged in polite and excited conversation about the first day. He met Kaminari, Sero, and Tokoyami. They kept him engaged in conversation for quite some time. It seemed Mr. AIzawa was busy assessing everyone’s baseline, so he didn’t seem to care what the class did. Izuku’s eyes scanned the room for Kacchan. He found the explosive blonde engaging in a surprisingly quiet conversation with Shoto.
Shoto and Kacchan were talking… Izuku should be happy. His two soulmates would finally get their happy ending. So why did it hurt? It hurt more than the freckled teen would like to admit. Seeing Kacchan be so relaxed with Shoto, watching his guard come down… Watching the blonde boy he knew he loved talking with the scarred boy Izuku knew he was destined to love felt like a betrayal. A betrayal of his own doing. It was too late to turn back now. Izuku would be alone, and he would be the greatest hero to ever live. Nothing could change that. Not love, not jealousy, not even the universe itself.
Izuku turned his eyes away from the upsetting scene, locking eyes with Uraraka. In that moment, the lovesick teen decided he wouldn’t let fate decide if he could love another or not. He’s been defying the universe for nearly ten years now. Maybe if he distracted himself, he could find a hint of happiness.
Notes:
To my readers:
Thank you for sticking with me. I don't ever plan on completely abandoning this work, even if I don't update as regularly as I want to. With the MHA manga coming to an end, I have found myself more motivated to finish this story. To share what I love with people who will love it too. So as I pass bits of this story into your hands, I thank you for your lovely comments.
Chapter 10: The Future Is… Pink?
Notes:
This is not an IzuOcha story! Buuuut it’s a slow burn so… We have to facepalm and watch our little green bean make his mistakes!
- Update notes at the end -
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The first week of school came and went. Izuku was adjusting to classes well, and he even had a little friend group. Izuku, as in the socially awkward quirkless loser from middle school, had friends. Kacchan seemed to struggle a bit more. Izuku’s friends were Tenya Iida, Ochaco Uraraka, and, unfortunately for Izuku, Shoto Todoroki. Despite how hard the freckled teen had tried to stay away from his two-toned soulmate, the universe seemed to have other plans. Not that Izuku was going to complain. He is cute… NO. No, he’s not.
Izuku had resorted to bandages to cover his soulmate writing. Nobody suspected anything, due to the nature of the freckled teen’s quirk. Despite having his quirk for mere months, everyone around him expected him to have had it his whole life. That makes learning to control it all the more important, especially with the sports festival coming up. How would he ever get scouted if he couldn’t perform well? These questions were ones Izuku had to really worry about.
He was pulled from his thoughts by one of his friends, Uraraka, approaching him.The bubbly teen was still in her school uniform, just like him. “Hey Deku!” she exclaimed excitedly. “Uh… What’s with all the muttering?” She gave the boy a confused, but contemplative look, ready for him to explain. She leaned against the chair opposite him, a sign she wanted to sit down too.
Izuku’s face flushed a bright red as he was called out for his mumbling. It was a bad habit he often didn’t notice until he was made embarrassingly aware of it. “I- sorry! I was just thinking. Um, how are you?” He stammered, a look of embarrassment on his flushed face. He was in the library working on some homework when she approached his table. A textbook and notebook lay open in front of him, pencil still in his hand.
Uraraka smiles, her cheeks flushing a slight pink. “I’m good! I came up here to work on homework. Mind if I join ya?” Her cheerful demeanor and the way her face flushed made Izuku relax a little. She wasn’t going to tease him for it. She looked at him with a genuine smile.
“Y-yeah!” Izuku replies, a cheerful smile on his face. Uraraka takes a seat and begins working on her own work. The pair worked in a comfortable silence, neither really saying anything. Izuku was looking at his Quirk History homework. Meanwhile Uraraka was working on Algebra. Teachers here really didn’t hold back with homework, despite it only being the second week.
Uraraka’s eyebrows furrow, and she sets her pencil down in frustration. “Deku, do you know how to do this?” Her frustrated tone indicated she was struggling. Izuku studied the paper she was looking at for a few moments, before nodding. He scribbled down a step by step guide on how to solve the problems, sliding it across the table for her. “Thanks!” she exclaims. Izuku wasn’t particularly good at math, but sometimes he had his moments.
After much more easy silence, the freckled teen found himself increasingly distracted. He kept stealing glances at Uraraka, and at her wrist. He didn’t see any soulmate writing, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. She was cute. Her brown hair framed her face perfectly, and her chocolate colored eyes sparkled when she got excited. Maybe a girlfriend could be a substitute for a soulmate. It wasn’t illegal. People dated outside of their soul bonds all the time. Should he..? Shouldn’t he..?
Before Izuku even knew what he was saying, the words were stumbling out of his mouth, shaky and unsure. He kept his gaze low, studying the wood grain of the old library table. The freckled teen didn’t want to know what her reaction would be. He was scared.
“Uraraka! I- Um… how-“ his voice trailed off, taking another deep breath before trying again. “Will you- I mean- Do you wannagoon a date with me?!” His words ran together a bit, another old habit from childhood. His mother always did get frustrated with that. He traced his finger along the wood grain of the table, finally looking up to meet her eyes.
Uraraka’s face flushed a bright red. She looked up from her work to meet his gaze. The zero gravity quirk user looked at him as if she couldn’t believe what he was saying. She started fidgeting with her bracelet, a simple, old woven friendship bracelet. “W-What?!”
Izuku’s eyes widened, if that was even possible. Did he read the signals wrong? “I— I mean… I’m sorry! That was weird, and stupid. I’m weird and stupid. Forget I said anything—“ His thoughts were racing. She hadn’t exactly flirted with him. What if she was dating someone? What about her soul bond..?
Izuku was pulled from his thoughts by a thumb, gently caressing his hand. “Deku, I—“ Uraraka started, before hesitating. “Don’t you have a soul bond?” Her tone was soft, wavering and uncertain. Their homework now long forgotten, it felt like the walls were closing in.
The weight of all the lies sat heavy in his chest. It made his stomach churn. But Izuku couldn’t stop. He wasn’t lying just for the hell of it. He was lying to protect them, which basically made it a good thing. A heroic thing. “No! I um—“ He hesitated, taking in a sharp breath. Izuku didn’t know what to say. He felt the words getting caught in his throat. Why was he acting this way..?
Uraraka sighed in relief. “Oh- I was worried for a minute. I have a soulmate but—“ her voice trailed off as she looked to the side, then down at her wrist. Uraraka traced the surface lightly with her finger. There was no indication of writing. When she spoke this time, she sounded sad. “I think she’s dead. I mean— I don’t really know.”
That took Izuku by surprise. A dead soulmate? What would that even feel like? He reached out and took her hand in his, gently thumbing over the skin. The freckled teen imagined what it would be like to believe one of his soulmates had died. His heart tightened. Izuku didn’t even want to entertain the thought. “What makes you say that?” He finds himself asking, voice soft and sad.
“Mm, well… We used to talk all the time. She would write me, and I would write back. Then—“ Uraraka took a deep breath, tears welling up in her eyes as she struggled to continue. She took a deep breath, forcing the words to come out. “She told me she loved me. Then the next day, nothing. And… after that, the words faded on their own but,” her voice starts to shake as she continues to struggle with the memory. “I haven’t heard from her since. Why would the last thing she said be ‘I love you.’ and nothing since? That was almost two years ago.”
Izuku wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug. As Uraraka cried into his shoulder, he tried to comfort her. “I grew up without a soul mate and— got picked on for that. I used to think I wasn’t worthy of love but… Maybe this is what fate wanted all along. Right?” It felt like something was squeezing his heart. The words felt wrong, Izuku knew they were wrong. He continued anyway. “We won’t know until we try.”
The pair talked about life, school work, and general ‘Get-to-know-you’ type stuff. Uraraka was easy to talk to, and made Izuku feel at ease. Maybe this was what love was supposed to feel like. Is there such a thing as real love outside of a soul bond? It was hard to say. The sun slowly dipped below the horizon, and the two made their way out of the library and down the path. They parted ways with a whispered promise to plan a date soon.
The rest of the night was filled with thoughts of Uraraka and his soulmates. Shoto was so kind… And HOT, but also cold. Uraraka was sweet, and she didn’t deserve the pain she had been put through. Kacchan was explosive and loud and mean. The walk home provided no answers to ease his mind. Izuku still felt a deep, heavy feeling in his chest. He sighed in frustration. In the uncomfortable silence of his room, Izuku decided to unwrap the bandages for the first time in nearly a week, seeing the things Shoto and Kacchan have been saying to one another.
The teacher is annoying. He sleeps all the fucking time.
It is quite strange. Maybe he has a reason?
Tch. Class is boring. I want to do something already.
It’s school. What did you expect?
Yeah, it’s hero school. If I wanted to waste my time with a bunch of losers, I would just talk to Deku.
Midoriya is not that bad.
The fuck do you know?
He’s just weird.
Hah?! You gonna start hanging out with that nerd?
Maybe.
Half-and-half bastard.
Rude :)
… <3
<3
His soul mates had each other. But Uraraka..? If her soulmate was really dead, Izuku reasoned, then he was doing a good thing by dating her. Izuku was giving her hope and someone to love her. It may not be the same as a soul bond, or to look down and see the words written across your skin… But it could be just as good. Right?
Either way, the freckled teen was dating her now. Whatever that was going to mean was uncertain. The only thing Izuku knew for sure was he didn’t want anyone to get hurt. And they wouldn’t. Not if he could help it. He had to focus on his girlfriend now. Girlfriend felt like such a foreign word. Izuku had always imagined himself as gay, once he knew the word for it, though maybe not. It could just be a coincidence that he has two soulmates, both boys.
He decided not to dwell too much on that for now, and instead rewrapped his bandages, thinking about how a date was supposed to go. Dating had been something Izuku only ever really thought about when Kacchan was involved. To think about a first date with someone else was also really strange. Dinner, movies, flowers. A classic date formula. That could work. Tried and true methods should prove some success. Yet… a relationship is not like a math equation. This was a lot of work. What’s the worst that could happen?
Notes:
Our little green bean will get his happily ever after eventually. Once he stops being stupid.
Hi all! Thank you for sticking with me as I slowly write this story. I am a full time college student, and an assistant preschool teacher. This takes up a lot of my time, so I appreciate your patience.
Life Update: I apparently have hEDS and POTS. Didn't know that.

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