Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Tianzhen, don’t touch—”

Pangzi should have noticed sooner that Wu Xie was reaching for the small statue in the middle of the tomb they’ve spent the last couple of days exploring. Even after decades of experiencing all manner of things that defied belief — including more than one cursed artifact — Pangzi is foolish to expect that Wu Xie has learned his lesson about looking and not touching; of course he hasn’t, and he probably never will. Wu Xie is like a magpie when it comes to tomb items and it’s as if he can’t help himself.

Luckily for both of them Xiaoge has keener eyes and faster reflexes than Pangzi. Before Pangzi has even finished speaking, a dark shape that’s little more than a blur sprints past him, because of course Xiaoge isn’t going to let Wu Xie touch anything that might be dangerous.

Pangzi takes a breath and relaxes, but it’s short-lived because there’s a strange noise, like the creaking of old wood, which immediately has him on edge again.

The chamber is plunged into darkness.

“Fuck,” Pangzi mutters under his breath as he fumbles for his flashlight. “Tianzhen, I told you not to—”

“It wasn’t me!”

Wu Xie’s voice is closer than Pangzi had expected — certainly closer than the pedestal that was holding the statue. That was on the other side of the room. His flashlight finally retrieved, he clicks it on and stumbles backwards when the beam shines right into the face of Wu Xie, who is standing next to him and no longer in front of the statue.

“Pangzi! My eyes!”

Pangzi mutters an apology and turns his flashlight in the direction where he’d expected Wu Xie to be standing. The pedestal is still there, but it’s now empty with no sign of the statue Wu Xie had been reaching for.

Even more worryingly, there’s no sign of Xiaoge who had been right there when the lights went out.

“What happened? Where’s Xiaoge?”

“I don’t know!” Wu Xie sounds as anxious as Pangzi feels, his voice tight and tense. “He pulled me back and then the lights went out. Xiaoge! Where are you?”

Pangzi’s worry only increases and he can feel his heart start pounding in his chest when nothing but silence follows Wu Xie’s question. “Come on, let’s take a look. He can’t have gone far.”

Maybe whatever caused the lights to go out knocked Xiaoge unconscious. Not good, but better than a lot of the alternatives which are currently running through Pangzi’s mind.

Together they move forward slowly, mindful of any potential triggers or pressure plates on the floor that will be harder to see in the darkness, especially if Xiaoge is somehow unable to help them if they accidentally set off a trap.

“Xiaoge!” Pangzi calls. “Where are you? You’d better be okay!”

He hears Wu Xie gasp, which makes him stop dead in his tracks, his flashlight shining around the room trying to see what caused the reaction.

“Pangzi, look.” Wu Xie’s voice sounds tense and anxious, which has Pangzi’s own heart beating more rapidly as he looks at where Wu Xie is shining his flashlight. He can see the pedestal that Wu Xie had been investigating, and in front of it is a bundle of dark clothing.

Wu Xie darts forward first, with Pangzi close behind once his brain catches up to the fact that the bundle on the ground is clearly Xiaoge’s clothes and there’s no sign of the man himself.

“Xiaoge,” Wu Xie cries, dropping to his knees and carefully poking at what is obviously Xiaoge’s hoodie.

Pangzi kneels down beside him. “Tianzhen, I swear, if you’ve turned him into some sort of animal again…”

Xiaoge had made a very cute cat, there was no denying that, but Pangzi definitely prefers his lover as a human being even if he is a youthful looking immortal. He really doesn’t want to deal with having to explain to Xiaoge, again, that human food is bad for cats and that he can’t sharpen his claws on Wu Xie’s antique furniture.

Now that he’s closer he can see that there’s definitely something moving around underneath the pile of clothing. It’s too small to be a cat, which is both reassuring and not. Oh, he really hopes Xiaoge hasn’t turned into a rat. Pangzi really doesn’t like rats. It’s something about their tails.

Wu Xie sets the hoodie to one side when it becomes clear that whatever Xiaoge has turned into isn’t hiding inside it. He starts gently poking at Xiaoge’s jeans instead.

“Xiaoge,” Pangzi says in what he hopes is a reassuring voice that doesn’t show how worried he actually is. “Don’t worry. Even if you’ve turned into a rat I’ll still love you.”

That part is true. No matter what Xiaoge looks like Pangzi will still love him. How could he not? Xiaoge is kind and brave and he indulges Pangzi’s need for physical affection even though he doesn’t enjoy it as much as Pangzi does. They’ve reached an unspoken agreement about the number of hugs per day, and cuddles on the sofa and while they’re asleep in bed are always welcome. They make it work even though Pangzi is loud and Xiaoge is quiet. Pangzi would love Xiaoge even if he’s turned into something weird like a blob of slime with eyes. It doesn’t matter to him. It’s Xiaoge.

“Xiaoge! There you are!” Wu Xie’s voice cuts into Pangzi’s thoughts and he braces himself for whatever form Xiaoge is currently in. What he’s not prepared for the sudden burst of laughter that explodes from Wu Xie. “Oh, you’re…”

Whatever it is, Pangzi tells himself that he’s prepared. They’ll deal with this. Because dealing with tomb curses is what they do. No matter what has happened to Xiaoge they’ll figure out how to fix it.

Wu Xie leans down and cups his hands around what is presumably Xiaoge. If he’s small enough to fit in Wu Xie’s hands like that, maybe he’s not a rat. Maybe a hamster or a frog or something. Frogs are cute. Pangzi likes frogs.

Wu Xie holds out his hands to Pangzi and opens them.

Standing in the middle of Wu Xie’s palm is Xiaoge. And he still looks like Xiaoge. Everything about him is as it was. His hair is the same, the neutral expression on his face is the same, it’s just that he’s…

“Xiaoge, you’re tiny!”

He can’t be more than a few inches tall. Maybe the length of Wu Xie’s middle finger.

He’s also completely naked.

The change in height, and the sudden nudity, don’t seem to be bothering him at all, though, although he does grimace at the loud sound of Pangzi’s voice. It’s probably even louder to him now that his ears are so little. Quiet voices only, then. They’ll have to pretend like Liu Sang is visiting.

Xiaoge walks over to the tips of Wu Xie’s fingers and looks curiously down at the pile of his clothes on the floor.

“Are you okay?” Wu Xie asks. “Are you hurt at all?”

Xiaoge shakes his head, still peering down at his clothes. He seems to be taking this remarkably well. Perhaps he’s in shock.

At least Xiaoge isn’t hurt, Pangzi supposes. But what are they supposed to do now? Xiaoge is so small Pangzi could easily fit him in his pocket. They need to figure out how to change him back.

“Here,” Wu Xie says and holds out his hand to Pangzi. “Take him. I’ll see if I can figure out what happened and how we fix it.”

There’s nothing Pangzi can do except hold out his hand and watch as Xiaoge jumps from Wu Xie’s palm onto his, as though this is a perfectly normal turn of events. It’s a strange sensation. Xiaoge is so small and light that his footsteps feel like the time Xiaoge got him to hold one of the newborn baby chicks.

Holding his hand as still as he can — because he really doesn’t want to accidentally drop Xiaoge — he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handkerchief. Thankfully it’s still clean, and he drapes it over the hand that’s currently holding Xiaoge. “Wrap yourself up in this,” he says when Xiaoge looks at the handkerchief with a tiny confused crease on his brow. “It’ll keep you warm until we can figure out how to change you back.”

Next to Xiaoge the handkerchief looks the size of a king size bedsheet. Xiaoge picks up one corner and pulls it into the middle of Pangzi’s hand. It tickles and Pangzi really has to focus on not laughing, still very conscious that Xiaoge would do himself some considerable damage if he fell from this height at his size.

He watches, fascinated, as Xiaoge wraps the handkerchief around himself, tucking it around his body and tying a couple of knots until he’s assembled what looks sort of like a toga.

“Is that better?” Pangzi asks. “Are you warmer now?”

Xiaoge shrugs which Pangzi takes to mean yes, then he wanders back over to the tips of Pangzi’s fingers and looks to see what Wu Xie is doing.

“Be careful,” Pangzi warns gently. “I don’t want you to fall.”

The look Xiaoge gives him is so unimpressed that Pangzi nearly laughs. Okay. Xiaoge is smaller but he’s still agile and with a good sense of balance. He’s probably not going to fall.

“I can’t get over how small you are,” Pangzi says softly. “Does it feel weird?”

Xiaoge shrugs again and Pangzi wonders if there’s actually anything that would rattle Xiaoge. He’s always so calm, no matter what happens. The only thing that seems to get any sort of reaction out of him is when he or Wu Xie are in danger.

That’s just typical of Xiaoge, really. He cares about them far more than he cares about himself, no matter how many times they try to tell him that his own wellbeing is just as important.

“We have a problem,” Wu Xie says, heading back over to them. “The statue is gone. And I can’t find anything to indicate what it is or what it does. I don’t even have a photo of it.”

Well, shit.

Okay, this is bad, but they’ve dealt with worse. They can figure this out. Wu Xie is smart, and Xiaoge has decades of experience.

“There must be something,” Pangzi insists. “Xiaoge, did you see anything? You pulled Tianzhen out of the way when he was going to touch it. Do you know what it is?”

Xiaoge shakes his head. “Could just sense the curse. Felt bad.”

Wu Xie’s eyes go so wide that Pangzi thinks maybe he’s had an idea until he exclaims “Xiaoge! Your voice!”

Wu Xie sounds absolutely delighted, and while Pangzi is annoyed at him getting distracted at such an important time he can understand why. Xiaoge is soft-spoken most of the time anyway, but now that he’s this small his voice is so high he sounds like he’s been inhaling helium from a balloon. It’s both hilarious and the cutest thing Pangzi has ever heard.

He swallows back his laughter because, as tempting as it is, this really isn’t the time. “What do we do? We’re at the centre of the tomb. There’s nowhere else to go except back the way we came and we can’t just leave Xiaoge like this.”

“No,” Wu Xie agrees, the smile fading from his face. “But we might need to do some research. Xiaoge, what do you think?”

Xiaoge doesn’t even hesitate. “Home. Need to look at books.”

Before they leave, Wu Xie takes photos of everything in the chamber, including the gap where the stone statue had been. Someone, somewhere, must know how to fix this.

But for now, as Xiaoge said, they should go home and hit the books.

Pangzi looks at their van and then at Xiaoge, who is currently pacing up and down the palm of Pangzi’s hand for lack of anywhere else to go. He still doesn’t look particularly concerned about his new stature. What he looks, Pangzi thinks, is bored.

His size, however, presents a logistical problem that hadn’t occurred to Pangzi until they got here.

“How are we going to do this?” Pangzi isn’t asking anyone in particular, just thinking aloud mostly. “Xiaoge’s too small to wear a seatbelt. It would smother him.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Pangzi is getting used to Xiaoge’s new voice now. Wu Xie, on the other hand, laughs whenever Xiaoge speaks and then laughs even more when Xiaoge glares at him for it. It’s probably a good thing Xiaoge’s sword is currently strapped to Pangzi’s back. If it had shrunk with Xiaoge, Wu Xie would probably be dealing with a lot of tiny pinprick sized holes by now.

“Xiaoge, no, you don’t know that you’ll be fine,” Pangzi says after rolling his eyes at Wu Xie, who is once again chuckling at the sound of Xiaoge’s voice. “I’ll drive carefully, but what if I have to brake suddenly, or what if there’s an accident?”

“Pocket,” Xiaoge replies, as though that makes any sense at all.

“What do you mean?” Wu Xie asks before Pangzi can. Now that Pangzi has pointed out that Xiaoge could be in danger riding in the van the humour has faded from Wu Xie’s eyes and he’s got his problem-solving face on.

Xiaoge runs across Pangzi’s hand, over his wrist and starts climbing up the sleeve of his jacket as though it was a wall in a tomb. Pangzi stands perfectly still, scared that if he moves it’ll cause Xiaoge to fall. Wu Xie hovers close by, clearly ready to catch Xiaoge if something happens.

They needn’t have worried, though. Xiaoge is as agile at this size as he is normally. He climbs up Pangzi’s arm with no problems at all, walks across his shoulder, then climbs down Pangzi’s chest using his buttons as stepping points until finally he swings himself across and into Pangzi’s breast pocket.

Pangzi sighs. “You could have just asked me to put you in there, you know. Showing how cool you are even though you’re tiny now.”

There’s no denying it’s a good idea, though. The pocket will keep Xiaoge reasonably secure while they’re driving, and has the added bonus of keeping him warm, too. The toga Xiaoge fashioned out of Pangzi’s handkerchief is keeping his body warm, but his feet are still bare. Pangzi has no idea where they’re going to find shoes for someone Xiaoge’s size. Even babies aren’t this small.

He’ll think it over while they’re driving. Maybe Wu Xie will have some ideas.

“Okay,” he says. “Let’s go home.” He gets in and starts the engine, glancing down to make sure his seatbelt isn’t squashing Xiaoge or anything like that. It’s fine. Xiaoge has his head poking out of the top of Pangzi’s pocket and, oh, that’s so damn cute. This is really going to be a problem.

What do you do when your already cute boyfriend gets shrunk and is now somehow even cuter?

These are the sorts of questions that it seems like only the three of them ever have to answer. Such is the life of a group of tomb raiders who seem to wander into cursed objects without even trying.

Pangzi bets that Xiao Hua never has to deal with these sorts of things.

Pangzi should have made Wu Xie drive.

There’s a reason he doesn’t, usually. Mostly because Pangzi doesn’t trust Wu Xie to not do things like trying to squeeze the van through a gap that’s clearly too small for it. Just this once, though, he thinks he’d have made an exception. Because Wu Xie is clearly up to something and he can’t see what it is because he has to do stupid things like keep his eyes on the road.

“What about this?” Wu Xie asks, turning his phone screen to Xiaoge. By the time it’s safe to look, Wu Xie has pulled his phone away again and is tapping at the screen.

“Are you going to tell me what you’re doing?” Pangzi asks, not for the first time.

“Shopping,” Wu Xie replies just as he has every other time and refuses to elaborate.

“Shopping for what?”

“You’ll see soon.”

He hates it when Wu Xie gets all cryptic like this, and from the way Wu Xie is grinning at him he knows he’s being annoying. Pangzi isn’t going to give him the satisfaction of asking again so he drives in silence and pretends he can’t see Wu Xie tapping away at his phone or the highly suspicious smile on his face.

When they finally arrive back home, exhausted but also resolved to get to work researching how to help Xiaoge, there is a small pile of packages waiting for them outside their front door. That’s one nice thing about living in a village that Pangzi is still getting used to: your mail can just be left on the porch if you’re not home and it’ll still be there whenever you get back.

“I paid for express shipping,” Wu Xie says in answer to the question Pangzi hasn’t even asked yet. So this must be the results of the shopping he was doing while they were driving back.

Pangzi can feel Xiaoge wriggling in his pocket, apparently impatient to get out now that they’re finally home.

“Just give me a minute,” Pangzi says as he follows Wu Xie inside. Wu Xie sets the packages down on the table in the living room and then sinks into the sofa with a weary sigh.

“Pangzi, let Xiaoge out.” Wu Xie has an excited grin on his face that does not bode well from Pangzi’s prior experience. “These are all for him.”

The wriggling in his pocket increases as he can feel Xiaoge hoisting himself out, so he quickly places his hand against his chest to give Xiaoge something to drop onto. He lands in Pangzi’s palm effortlessly (of course) and from there Pangzi rests his hand face up on the table until Xiaoge has climbed off.

He feels much less stressed now that Xiaoge is on a sturdy and solid surface. Wu Xie has already ripped open the first package and looks pleased with what’s inside. Pangzi can’t tell what it is — fabric of some sort, maybe? He hopes Wu Xie doesn’t expect him to sew clothes for Xiaoge. He’s skilled in many areas but that isn’t one of them. He’d be willing to learn, of course. Anything for Xiaoge. But right now he wouldn’t have a clue where to start.

Wu Xie puts the item on the table in front of Xiaoge and tears into the next packet while Xiaoge investigates what he’s been given.

It’s a hoodie. Black, of course, and tiny enough that it looks like it should fit Xiaoge perfectly. Pangzi didn’t even know they made clothes that small.

“How—”

“Doll clothes,” Wu Xie replies in a hushed tone as though the very word might offend Xiaoge somehow.

If Xiaoge was even listening he certainly doesn’t seem to care; he’s already removed the handkerchief toga and is in the process of pulling the hoodie over his head.

“Here,” Wu Xie says, placing another tiny black bundle of fabric in front of Xiaoge. “I couldn’t find any black jeans in your size so these black pants will have to do.”

Xiaoge pulls on the pants and, amazingly, the clothes fit him perfectly. He looks like himself again, just a lot smaller. It’s strange how relieved Pangzi feels seeing him like this but, somehow, the clothes make Xiaoge look less vulnerable even though he’s still tiny.

“Are they comfortable?” Wu Xie asks.

Xiaoge does a few stretches and then nods.

“I got you some shoes too but…” Wu Xie holds up the shoes and frowns at them. They do look quite big compared to Xiaoge’s tiny feet. He sets them down on the table and Xiaoge pulls them on, shakes his head, and takes them off again.

“Those are the smallest ones I could find,” Wu Xie says sadly. “We’ll think of something else. I don’t want your feet to get cold.”

Xiaoge shrugs as though running around barefoot is totally fine. It’s not fine. Maybe Pangzi can make him some little socks. He can’t sew beyond repairing holes in things but he knows how to knit. He’s not sure any of his needles will be suitable for making something that small but he can look into it.

The next package Wu Xie opens contains a small bed. Pangzi hadn’t even thought about the practicalities of where Xiaoge was going to sleep. Wu Xie does have a knack of thinking of things that hadn’t even crossed Pangzi’s mind. He supposes that’s Wu Xie’s university education at work again.

He wonders if Wu Xie had to make tiny furniture while he was studying Architecture. Pangzi doesn’t know a lot about the subject but didn’t that involve building tiny models? Maybe Wu Xie could build a house for Xiaoge.

No, Xiaoge isn’t going to be like this permanently. He’ll be back to normal far sooner than Wu Xie could build a model home. And, besides, Wu Xie needs to spend his time reading up on how to turn Xiaoge back.

“I’ll put this in your room,” Wu Xie says. “If it’s not comfortable or if there’s anything else wrong with it, tell me and we’ll try something else.”

Now that Pangzi is thinking about the practicalities he’s coming up with a whole list of things they’re going to have to figure out until they get Xiaoge back to his normal size. Xiaoge’s too small to use the shower — it’d be like standing under a pressure washer — and the bath is far too big for him. And how is he going to use the toilet? Pangzi refuses to make him go outside like the cats do. It’s just undignified.

He needs to think, and he thinks best while he’s cooking. They could probably all use some food after a few days on rations and camping food.

Shit. What is Xiaoge going to eat? Everything they have is huge compared to him. Even a cube of melon is going to be half the size of Xiaoge’s entire body. That’s not a balanced diet, and Xiaoge needs decent food more than the rest of them with his high metabolism. Will his metabolism be even higher now that he’s small? Pangzi’s sure he read something about tiny animals and birds needing to eat a lot.

The problem is they just don’t know. Nothing like this has ever happened before so it’s not like they can read up on how much food a tiny person needs. What if Pangzi feeds him too much? What if he doesn’t feed him enough and Xiaoge keels over from starvation? What if—

“Pangzi,” Wu Xie says gently, laying a hand on his arm. “Whatever has got you looking seconds away from a panic attack, we can work it out.”

How is Wu Xie so calm about this? This isn’t the way things usually go, especially where Xiaoge is concerned. Ever since he got out from behind the bronze door it’s Wu Xie that goes into panic mode if Xiaoge is out of their sight for more than a few hours.

“Why aren’t you panicking?” Pangzi asks, watching as Xiaoge does some of his training moves to test out his new clothing.

Wu Xie shrugs. “Xiaoge’s fine. He’s not hurt or sick or in danger. He’s just smaller.” He gets that gooey look in his eyes that he gets when they’re watching documentaries about foxes. “Besides, look at him. He’s so cute.”

Xiaoge presses his lips together in displeasure at being called cute, but that just makes him look even cuter.

Pangzi takes a breath. As much as he hates to admit it, Wu Xie is right. Xiaoge seems happy enough. But that doesn’t get around the problem of what he’s going to eat.

“I was going to make us some lunch,” Pangzi says because maybe Wu Xie will surprise him and have two good ideas in a row. “But Xiaoge is so small I have no idea what I can make for him that’ll give him all the nutrients he needs.”

“Bugs,” Xiaoge says from the table. He’s stopped training now and is looking up at them. “Very nutritious.”

Wu Xie already has his phone out and is tapping away happily as though this is a perfectly normal conversation to be having. “I bet there are pet stores that have some tasty bugs for Xiaoge to eat.”

“No!” Pangzi says. He must have been louder than he realised because Xiaoge clamps his hands over his ears. He needs to remember that Xiaoge’s tiny ears are more sensitive to loud noises now. “Sorry, Xiaoge, I didn't mean to shout.”

They’re not going to feed Xiaoge bugs like a pet snake. Yes, they’ve eaten worse than that when they’ve been underground and their rations have run out, but they’re home now. Besides, a cricket would be almost the same size as Xiaoge. Even an ant would be about the size of his forearm.

He’ll think of something. When he was young and poor he got skilled at making tasty dishes from whatever random ingredients he could scrounge up. This is just a different sort of challenge.

He holds out his hand to the edge of the table so Xiaoge can climb on. “Come on, let’s go into the kitchen and find you something to eat.”

Xiaoge walks onto his hand and, just as he’d done last time, climbs up Pangzi’s arm. This time, though, he stays on Pangzi's shoulder and just holds onto a lock of his hair to steady himself. It doesn’t hurt — no more than a gentle pull. Nevertheless, Pangzi walks very slowly into the kitchen just in case walking faster causes Xiaoge to fall.

“Okay,” he says. “Let’s see what we have.”

Xiaoge tugs on his hair.

“What’s wrong?”

“Down.”

Pangzi can’t see Xiaoge so he has no idea what he means by down. It’s a lot harder to interpret Xiaoge’s brief words when he can’t see his face.

“Down on the floor?”

“The counter.”

Of course: Xiaoge has his favourite spot on the kitchen counter where he likes to perch and watch while Pangzi cooks. Pangzi likes it because he gets to lean over and kiss him while he’s stirring or mixing, and Xiaoge likes it because he gets to sneak little bits of food to snack on – something which would get Wu Xie a slap on the back of the hand if he tried it.

Pangzi places his hand on the counter and waits while Xiaoge climbs down his arm and takes his usual spot. The only difference now is that there’s an ocean of space around him instead of him having to squeeze himself in.

“So,” Pangzi says, half to Xiaoge and half to himself, as he pulls various things out of the cupboard and sets them down in front of him. “What can I make that is suitable for a tiny person?”

He glances at Xiaoge who is just sitting quietly watching him. “Xiaoge, you really are very small. Three grains of rice is going to be a huge meal for you.” Egg drop soup could work, maybe. That has a lot of nutrients in it even if he just has some of the broth.

“Fruit,” Xiaoge suggests and that’s not a bad idea either. He can chop up some mango or strawberries into fine slices, or even grate some. This might not be as bad as Pangzi first thought. He has no idea how he’s going to serve the soup, though; even putting some in a thimble would be like filling a barrel for Xiaoge.

Well, that’s something for them to work out later. At least for now he can chop the ingredients and get them simmering in the pot.

“Do you want to stay? Or do you want to go back out with Tianzhen while I cook?”

Xiaoge looks at him like it’s a completely stupid question, which Pangzi supposes it is. This is where Xiaoge sits while Pangzi cooks, and Wu Xie is right. Xiaoge isn’t any different now. He’s just smaller.

“Okay, let’s get cooking.”

“I’m already ahead of you,” Wu Xie says when Pangzi explains his concerns about how Xiaoge is going to eat. “Here, you open this one.”

Pangzi rips into the packet that is presented to him to find a tiny set of kitchenware inside. There’s a bowl, a plate, a cup, even some tiny chopsticks. He really had no idea they made all of these things for dolls. He hadn’t been around for the doll part of Xiao Mei’s life, after all. She’s already interested in singers and actors, most of whom Pangzi has never heard of.

“And here,” Wu Xie says. He’s already opened the final package. It appears to contain pipettes, which baffles Pangzi until Wu Xie adds, “We can use these to put small amounts of soup or water in his cup and bowl.”

He really can’t put into words how grateful he is that Wu Xie has held it together and done all this for Xiaoge while Pangzi was quietly having a meltdown.

“Come on,” he says, forcing a bright smile on his face. “Let’s set the table. Big bowls for me and Tianzhen and a tiny bowl for Xiaoge. At least we can still eat together.”

Amazingly, Wu Xie's plan works perfectly. Xiaoge has to sit on the table to eat, but Wu Xie has already ordered a table that will arrive tomorrow along with a few other things that he’d apparently thought of. But for now, Xiaoge is content to sit with his dish in his lap as he eats a tiny bowl of soup and sips a tiny cup of water.

“I’ll call Xiao Hua after we’re done eating,” Wu Xie says. “I’ve already had some ideas and I think with Xiao Hua’s resources we should be able to find a way to change Xiaoge back fairly quickly.”

Pangzi doesn’t doubt that whatever Wu Xie puts his mind to he can accomplish, and he feels even more relaxed now that he knows Xiao Hua will be involved too. Not only are they are two of the most resourceful people Pangzi knows, but Pangzi also knows he can rely on Xiao Hua to stop Wu Xie if he gets an idea into his head that’s particularly stupid. If the two of them can’t figure this out then he’s not sure anyone can.

“What do you want to do this afternoon, Xiaoge?” If Wu Xie and Xiao Hua are on research duty, then Pangzi will make it his job to keep Xiaoge entertained. “We could watch a movie, or take a nap — whatever you want.”

Xiaoge seems to consider the question for a moment before answering. “Garden.”

It’s true that when they get back from a trip away they usually spend the afternoon tending to their vegetables. There will probably be some weeding that needs doing and the radishes are about ready to harvest. The garden is something that Pangzi and Xiaoge generally do together; Wu Xie has little interest in it now that the plot of land has been fenced off and the crops have been chosen. Occasionally he’ll sit outside with a book and a drink and watch them work but that’s as close to helping as he gets. Pangzi likes that this is something he gets to share mostly with Xiaoge. Wu Xie might have designed the layout but, really, it’s his and Xiaoge’s garden. Xiaoge likes being out in the fresh air and Pangzi likes growing food that he can then cook for all of them.

The problem is that, with Xiaoge being so small, Pangzi isn’t sure what he can do to help. All of the crops will be bigger than Xiaoge’s entire body, and the weeds will be like dense jungle for him. Still, if that’s what Xiaoge wants to do then that’s what they’ll do. Pangzi is a sucker for basically letting Xiaoge do whatever he wants at the best of times, but it’s even more difficult to say no to him now that he’s so tiny and adorable.

“Great,” he says with a beaming smile. “That’s settled then.”

This was a mistake. Pangzi should have realised before he agreed because, actually, taking Xiaoge out into a wide open space like this was just a disaster waiting to happen.

He’d assumed Xiaoge would just sit on his shoulder or in his breast pocket like last time and watch Pangzi work, but as soon as they’d made it into the vegetable patch Xiaoge had climbed down Pangzi’s arm, then onto his belt, before shimmying down his leg and basically disappearing into the vegetation. Pangzi is too scared to move in case he accidentally steps on Xiaoge, and he’s too scared to rip up any weeds in case Xiaoge is among them and gets hurt.

“Come on, Xiaoge. I know you can do anything you put your mind to but you’re too small to pull up any of these weeds.”

A small clump of dirt hits his shoe, and when he looks down he finally sees Xiaoge. He’s digging around one of the weeds with his bare hands and before Pangzi can point out that it’s going to take him forever to dig up a week like that Xiaoge dives into the soil and disappears.

“Xiaoge!”

Gardening has honestly never been so stressful and Pangzi really wants to just go back inside and have a nice cold beer before taking a nap. What is Xiaoge doing underground? What if he can’t get back out? What if he meets some sort of burrowing animal that tries to eat him? What if—

The weed pops out of the ground and Xiaoge climbs out from where he’s pushed it up from underneath. The new clothes Wu Xie has bought for him are covered in mud as is his face and hands but he looks pleased with what he’s done.

It’s not exactly a fast or practical way of digging up weeds, but if it makes Xiaoge happy they can work with it. Pangzi will stay out here all afternoon if it keeps that smile on Xiaoge’s face.

“Good work,” he says with an answering smile on his own face. “You keep doing that, and I’ll—”

The words die in his mouth. A worm has wriggled out of the soil next to Xiaoge, likely disturbed during Xiaoge’s little excavation effort. With the size that he is the worm looks like a large snake next to him and, honestly, even though it’s harmless enough Pangzi does not like the associated memories.

“Just stay still,” he says softly to Xiaoge. “I’ll pick up the worm and move it to— Xiaoge!”

Apparently unalarmed by the presence of a creature that is twice the current thickness of his arm, Xiaoge is petting what Pangzi assumes is the worm’s head.

“Good for the soil,” Xiaoge says, glancing up at Pangzi.

He knows worms are good for the soil. He and Xiaoge have discussed it more than once. They’ve even talked about getting a worm farm to help with composting. However, there’s a big difference between encouraging the natural ecosystem and adopting a worm as a pet the way you might have a pet snake in a tank.

“Come on,” he says gently. “Leave the worm to do its work and we’ll do ours.”

Thankfully Xiaoge nods, gives the worm one final pet, and then moves onto the next weed.

Weeding the garden takes a lot longer than it does when there’s two of them at full size, but they get it done and Xiaoge seems exhausted but happy at the end of it, which makes it all worth it in Pangzi’s opinion.

“You can tell Tianzhen why your new clothes are covered in mud,” Pangzi says as he carries Xiaoge back into the house. Xiaoge had insisted on standing on Pangzi’s hand so as not to get Pangzi’s clothes dirty as well — as though Pangzi cares about a bit of mud on his shirt. “We’re going to have to figure out how you can take a bath, as well.”

“Can just shower in the rain,” Xiaoge says as though that’s the end of the discussion.

It rains often enough that he probably could, but Pangzi will consider that as a last resort. Besides, Xiaoge needs to get clean now and it’s not currently raining. They need something that’s a little more reliable than the weather.

They head into Wu Xie’s study, where he is, as usual, poring over his books. He gets this little crease between his eyes when he’s concentrating and it’s there now. Pangzi makes a mental note to bring him some tea once Xiaoge is cleaned up. If Wu Xie concentrates like this for too long, he gets a headache unless Pangzi comes in to distract him with something to eat or drink.

“Xiaoge decided to do the weeding in a slightly less conventional way,” Pangzi says, holding up his hand so Wu Xie can see how dirty Xiaoge is. “He needs a bath, but I have no idea how we’re going to do that. Even the sink is far too big for him.”

Wu Xie smiles brightly and doesn’t seem concerned by the state of Xiaoge’s brand new clothes at all. “I was actually thinking about that while you were out. Come on, I’ve had an idea.”

Wu Xie’s idea is to fill a small antique jade dish carved in the shape of a lotus leaf with warm water, then shave a sliver off a bar of soap. Amazingly the dish is the perfect size for Xiaoge, and they leave him to bathe in private. Wu Xie even has clean clothes for Xiaoge to put on once he’s dry. Apparently he ordered multiple identical black hoodies and trousers for this very reason.

“Don’t tell Wang Meng what we’re using that dish for,” Wu Xie says with a sheepish grin as they head into the kitchen so Pangzi can make some tea. “That was his retirement gift for me.”

Pangzi snorts. Poor Wang Meng is still getting abuse even when he’s not here. “How are things going with Xiao Hua?”

Wu Xie sighs. “It’s not going as fast as I would like, but Xiao Hua has some ideas that he’s exploring. He said he’d call me back tomorrow with an update. I’m just looking into the history of the tomb we were in just in case we missed something. This seems like a very specific curse, though. What benefit would it have?”

“It makes the victim vulnerable,” Pangzi points out. He doesn’t mention how worried he’s been about Xiaoge getting hurt somehow now that he’s so small. “And you can’t carry a statue out of a tomb if it’s ten times your size.”

“That doesn’t explain why the statue disappeared though,” Wu Xie replies. “Unless it dropped down into another part of the tomb to keep it safe.”

He’s got that crease in his brow again, and his eyes are getting that hazy look that indicates an imminent headache.

“Save it for tomorrow,” Pangzi says. “We’ve had a long day. Let’s go to bed and tackle it again in the morning when we’re feeling fresh. I’ll go and see if Xiaoge has finished with his bath.”

“I’m here.”

Pangzi almost stumbles backwards at the small voice coming from close to his feet and the only thing that stops him from moving is the terrifying fear that he might accidentally step on Xiaoge. He’s starting to understand why people put bells on cats now. Not that he’d ever do that to Xiaoge, but he can definitely see the appeal.

He looks down and, thankfully, Xiaoge is standing a safe distance away. He’s got his clean clothes on but his hair is still damp. There isn’t much they can do about that; a hair dryer would blow him across the room like a gale force wind.

“Xiaoge, what are you doing down there?” Pangzi asks. “How did you even get down off the bathroom counter?”

Xiaoge shrugs. “Climbed.”

Pangzi pinches the bridge of his nose. Is this what having a toddler is like? Or a kitten? Can’t take your eye off them for a second in case they decide to climb the furniture. “Come on,” he says after he’s collected himself. He needs to remember that despite his size Xiaoge is an adult man, not a child or a kitten. He knows how to take care of himself and he knows his limits when it comes to climbing. “Let’s go to bed.”

Wu Xie sets up the tiny bed he’s purchased for Xiaoge on the table next to Pangzi’s side of their bed and Pangzi watches curiously as Xiaoge climbs in and settles down for the night.

“Comfy?”

Xiaoge nods, but he doesn’t look entirely happy. Maybe being small is finally starting to get to him, although he hasn’t seemed particularly bothered by it until now.

Normally when Xiaoge is sad or troubled by something Pangzi will pull him into a hug, or drag him onto the sofa for cuddles until he smiles again. Now, all he can do is reach out his hand and gently stroke the top of Xiaoge’s head with one finger.

“I’ll call Xiao Hua again in the morning,” Wu Xie says as he climbs into bed next to Pangzi. He doesn’t always sleep in here — that’s not the sort of relationship they have, nor is it something Wu Xie is interested in — but when something is bothering him or he’s had a nightmare he’ll climb into bed with Pangzi and Xiaoge, inserting himself between them like a restless child. The fact that Wu Xie is here now, without even trying to sleep in his own bed, tells Pangzi that he’s more worried about Xiaoge than he’s been letting on.

“We’ll figure this out,” Pangzi says to both of them in general. “Xiaoge won’t be small forever.”

He feels something pat against his stomach and when he glances down Xiaoge has apparently jumped from the table and onto him. He watches as Xiaoge walks up his body, climbing the creases and wrinkles of the blanket like they’re sand dunes, until he reaches the middle of Pangzi’s chest. Then he lies down and closes his eyes.

“Comfier,” Xiaoge murmurs even though Pangzi hasn’t asked. “Warm.”

A moment later his face goes slack and his lips part as he falls asleep. Usually it takes Xiaoge hours to fall asleep unless Pangzi tires him out first. Maybe being smaller means he’s using more energy. He’d certainly had a long afternoon weeding the garden.

Next to him, Wu Xie is snoring softly, so there’s nothing else for Pangzi to do but close his eyes.

He does not sleep well.

Every time he drifts off he jolts awake again a moment later, terrified that if he sleeps he’ll roll over and crush Xiaoge. All he can do is lie there, on his back, getting snatches of sleep between stretches of wakefulness.

At some point around dawn, he feels Xiaoge stand up and climb off him. This is the usual time Xiaoge gets up, but Pangzi doesn’t stay awake long enough to see if Xiaoge has gone back to his own bed or if he’s gone off to do something else. As soon as he feels Xiaoge’s small weight leave his body he falls back asleep.

He wakes again closer to lunchtime than breakfast time, alone in his bed. He doesn’t usually sleep this long, but after his restless night he clearly needed it. He really hopes Wu Xie has found something to eat that doesn’t involve cooking or he’s going to have to deal with a destroyed kitchen before he does anything else.

He pulls on a robe, heads to the bathroom to relieve himself, then goes in search of Wu Xie and Xiaoge.

Nothing appears to be on fire, so Pangzi assumes Wu Xie skipped breakfast and just had coffee. He’ll make sure to cook up a decent lunch to make up for it.

He pokes his head around the door to Wu Xie’s study and, sure enough, Wu Xie is on the phone, presumably talking to Xiao Hua. There’s a half-drunk cup of coffee on his desk, no doubt cold and forgotten.

Pangzi leaves him to it. Even if he eavesdrops for a while the chances of him actually understanding what they’re talking about are slim. Instead he decides to go and look for Xiaoge.

The problem is, Pangzi soon realises, that with Xiaoge being as small as he is he’s a lot harder to find. Even when he’s his usual size Xioage has a knack of finding quiet little hiding places where Wu Xie and Pangzi won’t bother him. They’ve stopped even looking now. When he disappears like this he clearly wants some quiet time and he deserves it.

Now, though, he could literally be anywhere.

He checks the kitchen first, which is thankfully unscathed. That means Xiaoge probably hasn’t eaten, either. It’s not like he can just help himself to a snack from the fridge like he usually does.

Xiaoge isn’t in the living room either, or the bathroom.

“Xiaoge,” Pangzi calls when he’s run out of places to look. “Are you in here?”

One of the cats, the black one, comes running. Xiaoge says it’s not their place to give human names to animals — they know how to communicate with each other and that’s enough – so Pangzi is reduced to referring to them by the colours of their fur. He doesn’t even know if this one is male or female. Xiaoge says he respects their privacy too much to check.

Evidently Black Fur thinks that it’s dinner time.

It is very much not dinner time.

“Xiaoge!” Pangzi calls again as he checks the small library Wu Xie has set up. It’s full of old books and shelves where Xiaoge could easily hide if he wanted to. “Xiaoge, are you in here?”

The cat at his feet meows, apparently having followed him.

“It’s not dinner time yet,” Pangzi huffs, stepping over it so he can go to see if Xiaoge has gone outside. He really hopes not; that’s a vast space for someone of Xiaoge’s size.

The cat meows again, more insistently this time, running under Pangzi’s feet every time he tries to take a step.

Pangzi swears under his breath. “It’s not time for food yet. Go and play with your friends.”

“Pangzi.”

He freezes, glancing down at the cat again which simply looks back at him and meows again. For one insane second he wonders if they have somehow acquired a talking cat. It certainly wouldn’t be the strangest thing that’s happened to them.

Then he sees, blended in almost perfectly with the cat’s fur, Xiaoge sitting on the cat’s back, so perfectly balanced he’s not even holding on.

“Xiaoge!” Pangzi exclaims as relief washes over him now that he’s found him. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I know you need your space, but when you’re this small I worry!”

The cat lets out a small chirp as Xiaoge climbs down off its back, then walks away with a dismissive flick of its tail.

“Did you train that cat to let you ride on its back?” Pangzi asks as Xiaoge he climbs up onto his usual spot on Pangzi’s shoulder.

Their cats are all former strays that, for one reason or another, have now decided that they live here. They all adore Xiaoge, but give very little attention on Wu Xie or Pangzi unless they think they might get some food out of it. Even with Xiaoge it’s more that they exist together rather than that they consider him their owner. They can often be found napping together, and they’ll take food out of Xiaoge’s hand, but they won’t let him pick them up or anything like that. At least, that’s what Pangzi assumes. He’s never actually seen Xiaoge try and pick one of them up. Maybe that’s why they like him.

All the animals seem to like Xiaoge best. The chickens, the cats, probably even Old Bastard, although Pangzi isn’t sure the disgruntled koi actually likes anyone or anything.

“Not train,” Xiaoge replies as Pangzi heads into the kitchen to start preparing some lunch for them. “Just asked.”

Pangzi stops dead in his tracks and wishes Xiaoge was in a position where Pangzi could see him. “Just— you just asked one of the cats you let you ride it? And it understood what you meant and agreed?”

Xiaoge nods, as though this is obvious and Pangzi was foolish for thinking it was anything otherwise.

Not for the first time Pangzi wonders if this is some sort of elaborate and incredibly realistic dream. Xiaoge is the size of an action figure and can apparently talk to animals. This can’t be real.

He moves over to the counter and waits patiently while Xiaoge climbs down his arm and takes his usual spot. Dream or not, it feels real enough, so he supposes he has to just roll with it. He wonders if Xiaoge at his normal size can also talk to the cats, or if this is just a very strange side effect of Xiaoge being so small.

“I’m thinking pork dumplings for lunch,” Pangzi replies as he starts pulling down the ingredients to make them. They’re not really the right size for Xiaoge to eat, but they’re one of his favourites, and he can serve them with the chilli oil that both Xiaoge and Wu Xie like. Pangzi is still thinking about how sad Xiaoge looked the night before. He’ll make it work, somehow. He can cut the corner off one of his own so Xiaoge gets some of the dough and he can put a pinch of the filling into the small bowl Xiaoge has.

He's getting the hang of being creative in the kitchen when it comes to portion size for Xiaoge. He’s not going to let Xiaoge miss out on his favourite foods just because he’s small.

The dumplings, Pangzi thinks in retrospect, were a mistake. It’s a hot day, and even with the kitchen windows open the room isn’t getting much in the way of ventilation. He should have made a salad, or something that could go in the oven, not something that involves filling the whole kitchen with steam.

He wipes the sweat from his face with his sleeve. Wu Xie is probably going to make fun of how red Pangzi looks, but probably not until after he’s eaten the food Pangzi has cooked. Wu Xie is a lot of things but he’s not a complete fool.

“Almost ready,” he tells Xiaoge, glancing over to Xiaoge’s spot on the counter. He’s been quiet today, or quieter than usual, at least. Hopefully the dumplings will cheer him up, and after lunch Pangzi is going to ask him what’s bothering him, because something clearly is.

“Xiaoge, what do you want to drink with your lunch? There’s water, juice, tea, beer.”

Beer probably isn’t a good idea, actually. They still don’t really know what the change in size has done to Xiaoge’s metabolism. It takes a decent amount of alcohol to get him drunk normally, but now even a few drops might do it. They just don’t know.

“Xiaoge?” Sometimes it’s hard to hear him when things are bubbling and sizzling in the kitchen. He must have missed Xiaoge’s answer so he moves over to stand closer to him.

Xiaoge has slumped over on the counter and is lying in a crumpled heap. From here Pangzi can’t even tell if he’s breathing or not.

His heart lurches in his chest. “Oh, fuck, Xiaoge! Are you okay? Say something!”

This can’t be happening. Xiaoge was fine a few minutes ago. This definitely can’t be happening.

His hands are shaking as he scoops Xiaoge up as carefully as he can manage, hating the way his body just lolls limply and shows no sign of awareness that he’s being moved at all.

“Come on, Xiaoge. Please don’t do this.”

He doesn’t run, just in case he trips or falls, but he walks out of the kitchen as quickly as he can.

“Tiazhen! TIANZHEN!”

Xiaoge doesn’t so much as twitch at the sound of Pangzi’s frantic yelling either, which just makes him panic even more. Fuck, what if he needs a hospital? Or even just a doctor? How is anyone going to treat someone this small? And that’s assuming Xiaoge isn’t—

“What’s wrong?” Wu Xie bursts out of his office, his eyes immediately honing in on Pangzi’s cupped hands.

“I don’t know what happened,” Pangzi says. “I just looked over and he was lying there. It was hot in the kitchen so maybe it’s the heat, but I don’t know. I don’t even know if he’s—”

The words clump in Pangzi’s throat and all he can do is make a choked sound as Wu Xie strides over and gently pulls Pangzi’s hands closer to him so he can look. His face falls at the sight of Xiaoge lying there, but only for a moment before he schools it back into something calmer. He carefully nudges Xiaoge onto his back and rests his pinky finger against Xiaoge’s chest.

Pangzi can’t breathe, or think; all he can hear is his own heart pounding in his chest.

“He’s breathing,” Wu Xie says after what feels like an eternity, and Pangzi would have collapsed in relief if he wasn’t still cradling Xiaoge in his hands. “His heart’s racing really fast, though. I don’t know if that’s just because of his size or if it’s the heat like you said. We should try and cool him down. Let’s go out to the pond — the air is freshest and coolest there.

Pangzi walks without waiting to see if Wu Xie is following him. He knows he will be.

Wu Xie is right; the air is definitely cooler by the pond, so Pangzi finds a bit of shade at the edge and sits down. Wu Xie said they needed to cool Xiaoge down. Maybe he can drip some water from the pond onto Xiaoge’s face? But the last thing he wants us to use too much water and risk drowning Xiaoge while he’s unconscious. Perhaps, for now, he can just help with Xiaoge’s clothes. Thick black material definitely isn’t suitable for this weather but it’s all Xiaoge has at the moment.

Pangzi’s fingers feel thick and clumsy as he tries to take Xiaoge’s hoodie off with one hand while holding him in the other. It doesn’t help that his hands are still shaking a little. He’s undressed Xiaoge countless times before, even a few times when he’s unconscious like this, but it’s never been this difficult before.

“Let me,” Wu Xie says gently as he sits down next to Pangzi. “You just hold him, okay?”

Wu Xie’s fingers aren’t as fine and nimble as Xiaoge’s, but they’re smaller than Pangzi’s and he manages to get Xiaoge’s hoodie off with minimal effort. Fuck, Pangzi hates this.

“I thought this might help,” Wu Xie says, picking up the misting bottle that Pangzi uses to water the houseplants. He squeezes it a couple of times, a few inches above Xiaoge’s body, and lets the fine spray rain down on him. With Xiaoge’s size being what it is, it's pretty much like having a cold shower and, sure enough, after a moment or two Xiaoge begins to stir.

“Take it slow,” Wu Xie says gently when Xiaoge opens his eyes and squints up at them. “Here, drink this. Not too fast, though.”

He uses the pipette to fill Xiaoge’s cup with some water and holds it out until Xiaoge has roused enough to hold onto it himself and drink.

Pangzi can feel the tears burning in his eyes as he watches. He hasn’t felt this helpless and useless since Wu Xie was dying. He looks away, trying to blink the tears back before they fall, but then he feels something brush against his thumb. When he looks down Xiaoge is on his feet, swaying, but he’s wrapped his arms around Pangzi’s thumb and is pressing tiny soft kisses to the pad.

“I thought I was going to lose you,” Pangzi whispers around the lump in his throat. The tears do fall then, trickling hot down his face. He doesn’t care, and he knows Wu Xie and Xiaoge won’t care either.

Wu Xie wraps an arm around his shoulders, and Xiaoge continues to hug his thumb, until Pangzi starts to feel better.

“No more kitchen duty for you,” he says to Xiaoge with a weak smile. “You know what they say about people who can’t stand the heat.”

Wu Xie gives his shoulder a squeeze. “Why don’t you two stay out here for a bit where it’s cool. Xiao Hua and I are getting close to figuring this out.”

Pangzi nods. “So much for the nice lunch I was— oh shit, the dumplings!”

Obviously he’d been so worried about Xiaoge that he hadn’t even thought about the food. Now that Xiaoge is awake and seemingly okay, Pangzi mourns their lunch, which will be dry and overcooked by now.

“I’ll turn the steamer off when I go back inside,” Wu Xie promises. “And I’ll call Ayi and see if she has any going spare. Hers are almost as good as yours.”

Not for the first time Pangzi wonders what has happened to Wu Xie to turn him into this calm and rational man, while Pangzi is the one falling apart. He doesn’t have the energy to tease him about it, though. In fact, he’s grateful that one of them is keeping it together.

Wu Xie stands up with a groan, pats Pangzi on the shoulder, and heads back into the house. He leaves behind the plant mister, the pipette which still has some water in it, and Xiaoge’s cup.

“Are you really feeling better?” Pangzi asks Xiaoge, who has finally stopped hugging Pangzi’s thumb and is sitting cross legged in the middle of his palm.

Xiaoge nods, but Pangzi refills his cup with some more water anyway. Xiaoge’s tattoo is still dark and vivid against his pale skin, which means he’s still too warm even if he’s conscious and feeling better.

Although it’s cooler out here than in a steam filled kitchen the air is still warm and humid, and the water of the pond looks cool and inviting. It gives Pangzi an idea.

He toes off his flip flops and dips his feet into the pond. It feels amazing.

“Xiaoge,” he says once Xiaoge has finished drinking. “Why don’t you get in? Come and sit on my ankle if you don’t have the energy to swim.”

He sets his hand down palm up on his thigh and watches as Xiaoge walks down his leg and into the cool water. His tattoo starts to fade almost immediately and it does wonders to make Pangzi feel better.

“How does it feel?” He asks and Xiaoge responds by pushing away from Pangzi’s ankle and leisurely swimming in small circles near Pangzi’s foot.

“Don’t go too far,” Pangzi warns gently. Xiaoge is strong, but he was unconscious less than thirty minutes ago. He should be resting, not swimming.

Of course Xiaoge doesn’t listen, swimming out towards the small water feature in the middle of the pond. Pangzi really hopes he doesn’t end up having to jump in and rescue Xiaoge. His poor old heart can only take so much in one day.

Then he sees movement in the water, heading in Xiaoge’s direction.

Oh, shit. He’d forgotten about the fish.

Most of the fish are small, and probably won’t care about Xiaoge’s presence in their habitat.

Old Bastard, on the other hand — he’ll probably see Xiaoge as a tastier meal than the fish food that Wu Xie provides.

“Xiaoge,” Pangzi calls in a panic. “Come back! I don’t want Old Bastard to eat you! Think of my blood pressure.”

Even as he is shouting, Xiaoge disappears under the water. Pangzi is already on his feet getting ready to jump in and wrestle that bastard fish if he has to, but Xiaoge’s head breaks the surface before he can move and… Pangzi squints.

“Xiaoge, are you riding Old Bastard?”

Xiaoge doesn’t answer but the fish swims closer, and Pangzi can almost see the smug look on its face as if to say, ‘we’ve bonded now, fuck you’.

Pangzi sighs and sits back down now that it’s clear that Xiaoge isn’t in any danger. He watches as his best friend’s pet fish and the miniature version of his boyfriend swim laps around their pond, and he wonders how this is his life now.

After the initial teething problems it’s strange how quickly they settle into a new routine with Xiaoge at his present size.

The bed Wu Xie purchased has been discarded now that it’s clear Xiaoge prefers sleeping on Pangzi’s chest, and Pangzi has now settled into the fact that if he rolls over in his sleep he’s not going to crush Xiaoge. Sometimes he wakes up and instead of being on his chest, Xiaoge has curled up on the pillow next to his head. One time Xiaoge made himself a small nest in the mop of Wu Xie’s hair, and Pangzi has about fifty photos of that on his phone.

The two of them do their chores as usual and Xiaoge helps wherever he can. He continues his burrowing method of weeding the garden, and he sits on Pangzi’s shoulder while he’s dusting and is able to get to the high spots more easily than Pangzi can. The chickens seem fascinated by him and Pangzi is just waiting for the day when he finds Xiaoge riding one of them like he has with the cats and Old Bastard.

The only exception to the chores Xiaoge helps with is the cooking. Pangzi hasn’t allowed him back into the kitchen since the day Xiaoge passed out, and has gone so far as closing the door to stop him from sneaking in. Not even Xiaoge’s attempts to get the cats to scratch and meow at the door has swayed him, the memory of how terrified he’d been when he’d seen Xiaoge unconscious on the kitchen counter still weighing heavily on his chest.

It took a few days but Xiaoge has finally accepted that cooking time is time for him to find something else to do, and he usually ends up in Wu Xie’s office climbing on the book shelves or building small constructions out of the stationery on Wu Xie’s desk.

“You need to watch him,” Pangzi says when he goes in to call Wu Xie for lunch. “What if he falls?”

Xiaoge, from the top of Wu Xie’s bookcase, looks offended by the very notion.

“He’s fine,” Wu Xie says with a wave of his hand as he marks the page of the book he’s currently reading. “Pangzi, you’ve seen him free climb up a sheer cliff face. He knows what he’s doing.”

Xiaoge nods.

Pangzi is getting better at not spending every waking moment fretting about Xiaoge, but occasionally when he sees him up high like this or, worse, when he can’t find him at all, he does still worry even though Xiaoge has given him no cause to beyond the fainting in the kitchen episode.

“Come on,” he says and reaches up so Xiaoge can climb onto his hand. “Let’s go and eat.”

“I really think we’re close to figuring this out,” Wu Xie says over lunch and Pangzi has to force a smile onto his face. It’s been almost a week and Wu Xie has said the same thing every day.

Well, maybe today it will prove to be true.

“Xiao Hua has roped Hei Yanjing in as well,” Wu Xie continues. “He knows more about unusual tomb curses than most.”

Pangzi is honestly surprised it’s taken this long. Everyone in the business knows about the relationship between Xiao Hua and Hei Xiazi. It’s taken as a given that if you tell something to one of them, the other will know about it before the day is out.

They’re trying their best to keep what has happened to Xiaoge just between those who need to know. Plenty of people, despite the fall of the Wang family, would take advantage of Xiaoge in his current state, so the fewer people who know the better.

The only exception is Liu Sang, because Pangzi couldn’t help but text him a photo of Xiaoge sat cross legged in the palm of Pangzi’s hand. He’d received a string of exclamation marks in response followed by a text saying he’d be there in a few days.

Pangzi almost hopes that they haven’t managed to turn Xiaoge back by then, just so he can see Liu Sang’s face when presented with a tiny version of his ouxiang.

Almost, but not quite.

Aside from his panic when Xiaoge had fainted, and his general worry when Xiaoge first became small, Pangzi has been doing his best to keep a bright face about the whole situation. But the fact is that he misses Xiaoge, which he knows makes no sense when Xiaoge hasn’t gone anywhere. But he misses Xiaoge’s quiet presence in the kitchen while he’s cooking, he misses curling up on the sofa with him while they watch Wu Xie’s terrible taste in movies that Xiaoge also secretly likes, and he misses waking up with Xiaoge in his arms after they’ve both taken an impromptu nap.

So he’ll smile and joke, and carry Xiaoge around with him so they’re still together, but he’s really looking forward to the day when Xiaoge is back at his regular size.

Xiaoge hasn’t really talked about it at all, but when does he ever unless Wu Xie or Pangzi explicitly ask his opinion on something? Maybe he’s happy like this? And if he is, does that make Pangzi an asshole for wanting him to turn back? They should probably talk about it.

“I should get back to it,” Wu Xie says as he pushes his bowl away to indicate he’s finished eating. “Xiaoge, are you coming with me while Pangzi does the dishes?”

It’s probably safe for Xiaoge to be in the kitchen while Pangzi does the dishes, but Pangzi doesn’t want to take any chances that the steam from the hot water might be too much for him. He’d rather do it alone, and then spend time with Xiaoge afterwards. The garden is fully weeded and watered so they have a quiet afternoon with a few hours to kill until it will be time for Pangzi to start cooking dinner. Maybe they can watch something together. Or, better, take one of those impromptu naps Pangzi was thinking about earlier.

Wu Xie holds out his hand and Xiaoge climbs on while Pangzi clears the table. The sooner he’s done the sooner they can relax.

“Pangzi. Xiaoge. You need to wake up.”

Pangzi groans and cracks one eye open. He’s still lying on the sofa where he’d lain down after lunch. He can feel the small weight of Xiaoge on his chest, presumably also asleep. Wu Xie is standing over them and the look on his face has Pangzi on immediate alert.

He looks worried. He’s doing that thing where he’s trying not to show that he’s worried, but Pangzi can see it in his eyes clearly. Something has obviously happened.

He sits up, cradling Xiaoge in his hand, who makes an unhappy noise as he also wakes up. Xiaoge is more like a cat than some of their actual cats.

“What’s happening?” Pangzi asks, his voice still thick with sleep. “Is everyone okay?”

Wu Xie sits down on the sofa next to them, which does nothing to relieve Pangzi’s concern. He can tell Wu Xie is mulling over in his mind how to say whatever he wants to say, and it’s times like this that Pangzi wishes Wu Xie was more blunt.

“Okay, we’re going to keep looking,” is the first thing Wu Xie says, which only makes Pangzi even more tense. “Xiao Hua and Hei Yanjing both confirm that they’re right, and they’ve shown me the texts, but still — when have a bunch of old texts been right about everything? I mean, remember the time when—”

Wu Xie is rambling, and he won’t look Pangzi in the eyes. Okay, this is obviously something to do with Xiaoge’s curse, and it’s obviously bad news. Pangzi just doesn’t know how bad.

“Tianzhen,” Pangzi interrupts gently before Wu Xie can go off on too much of a tangent. “Just say what you’re trying to say. This is about Xiaoge’s curse?”

Wu Xie nods.

“And it’s not good news? Come on, just tell us. Knowing is better than not knowing. Right, Xiaoge?”

Wu Xie’s face wavers at that, his lip wobbling slightly as he forces himself to go on.

“They think—” he pauses, then starts again, “—what’s happened to Xiaoge is permanent.”

Oh.

Oh shit.

“It’s supposed to be a deterrent,” Wu Xie continues, but Pangzi can’t stop looking at Xiaoge to see how he’s taking the news. He looks surprisingly calm. “The idea was that if one person shrunk the stories would soon spread and people would stay away. It’s less intimidating if they can be turned back.”

“We’ll keep looking,” Pangzi says, because that’s not even debatable at this point. Haven’t they beaten the odds countless times before?

“We will,” Wu Xie confirms. “Xiao Hua and Hei Yanjing are already looking.”

“Are you okay?” Pangzi asks Xiaoge gently. “It’s okay if you’re not. I wouldn’t be.”

There’s a slight turn down of the corners of Xiaoge’s mouth. “I miss you.”

Xiaoge’s voice is so soft and small that Pangzi can barely hear him, but the words are clear and his chest feels like there’s a concrete slab resting on it. He does his best to hold back the tears that are burning in his eyes. Crying won’t help anyone, no matter how much his heart breaks at the sound of Xiaoge admitting he’s unhappy.

“I miss you too,” he replies and leans down to press a gentle kiss to the top of Xiaoge’s head. “But we won’t give up. Remember when everyone was sure you and Hei Xiazi had died in that underwater cave? Or the doctors who were certain there was no cure for Tianzhen’s lung disease? And there was the time we all went blind and thought for sure we were going to die in the South Sea King’s tomb. We’ll fix this, Xiaoge. We just need to be patient, okay?”

Xiaoge nods but he still doesn’t look entirely happy. That’s okay; Pangzi will be chipper and positive enough for both of them.

“I’m going back to the books,” Wu Xie says, but he doesn’t look entirely happy about the prospect of retreating back into his study. “Trust me. Both of you.”

Pangzi has and does trust Wu Xie with his life and he knows Xiaoge feels the same. He reaches across and pulls Wu Xie into a one armed hug. From his other hand Xiaoge jumps onto Wu Xie and climbs onto his shoulder. He strokes the side of Wu Xie’s neck, just below his ear. It’s the only comfort he can offer but Wu Xie seems to appreciate the gesture.

“Go, go,” he says with a wave of his hand when Wu Xie pulls back from the hug. “Are you hungry? It’s a bit early for dinner but I can cut us up some fruit.”

The fruit is mostly for Xiaoge’s benefit, and he suspects Wu Xie knows that.

“Yeah,” he says as he stands back up. “That sounds nice.”

Since fruit doesn’t need any heat to prepare there’s no harm in Xiaoge coming into the kitchen with him and he holds out his hand for Xiaoge to climb on.

They’ll deal with this, just like they’ve dealt with everything else that life has thrown at them over the years.

“So,” Pangzi says as he picks through the variety of fruits that he’s got stored. “We’ve got strawberries, mango, lychees, kiwi fruit, peaches and— Xiaoge!”

He glances over to see if Xiaoge is expressing any sort of preference only to find Xiaoge with his arms wrapped around a strawberry that’s the size of his entire body. His face is a sticky, red mess. At the sound of his voice Xiaoge just starts eating faster, like the cats do when they’ve been caught eating something they shouldn’t be.

“You could at least have let me cut it up for you first,” Pangzi grumbles as he picks out a couple of peaches for Wu Xie and a banana for himself. Xiaoge has clearly made his choice so Pangzi puts the rest of the fruit away. “Don’t eat so fast or you’ll get sick!”

He probably won’t. Xiaoge has a strange metabolism. He can go for days barely eating anything, and he can also eat more food than Wu Xie and Pangzi put together and still look like he’s advertising a gym.

Pangzi leaves him to it and washes the peaches instead, placing a couple in a bowl to take through to Wu Xie. “You’re going to need a bath and clean clothes after that,” he remarks to Xiaoge, whose entire front is now covered in strawberry juice. Well, if it makes him feel better, who is Pangzi to complain?

He leaves Xiaoge to his snack, delivers the peaches to Wu Xie who barely looks up from his book, then heads into the bathroom where he fills the antique dish that is currently serving as Xiaoge’s bathtub. By the time he gets back to the kitchen, Xiaoge has eaten more than half of the strawberry, which Pangzi supposes isn’t surprising given how fast he was eating. Still, it’s impressive, and slightly horrifying. Pangzi really hopes he isn’t going to be cleaning up strawberry-coloured vomit later.

Thankfully Xiaoge seems to be done and is now wiping his face on his sleeve as he sits with his back resting against what remains of the fruit. His hoodie already needed a wash; a stain on the sleeve isn’t exactly going to make things worse at this point.

“Right,” Pangzi says and holds out his hand for Xiaoge to climb on. “I’ve filled your bath for you. Get washed and I’ll find you some clean clothes.”

This really isn’t unlike taking care of a toddler, Pangzi muses as he deposits Xiaoge next to his bath and heads into their bedroom to get him some more clothes. Not that he’s had any experience doing that, and at least Xiaoge has some vague sense of self preservation. But, still. Making sure Xiaoge is clean, well fed, and entertained is practically a full time job. He’s glad to do it, of course — he’d do anything for Xiaoge. He just never imagined he’d be spending his days parenting his century-old boyfriend.

He opens one of his smaller drawers in their bedroom that he’s set aside to hold all the hoodies and trousers that Wu Xie ordered online. If this really is going to be a permanent situation, or at least longer term than they anticipated, then they’re going to have to figure out what to do about Xiaoge’s shoes. It’s warm enough at the moment that he’s fine running around barefoot, but if he’s still like this in a few months when the days turn colder that’s not going to work. And what are they going to do if Xiaoge gets sick? He can’t take the regular supply of cold and flu medication that they keep in the house. One capsule is bigger than Xiaoge’s entire arm and the dosage would likely kill him.

He really hopes Wu Xie, Xiao Hua and Hei Xiazi come up with a solution. It was terrifying enough when Xiaoge got overheated. Pangzi can’t even imagine what they’ll do if Xiaoge gets a fever or anything like that. Would baby medication work? It’s something for him to look into.

In the meantime he takes Xiaoge’s clean clothes into the bathroom and takes his sticky ones away to wash them. They’re probably durable enough that he could just wash them with his own clothes, but to be safe he hand washes them in the sink and hangs them up to dry.

He heads back to the bathroom and taps on the door. “Are you done? Do you want to watch your fishing show before I cook dinner?”

He’s spoiling Xiaoge, he knows, and he’s comforting himself by spoiling Xiaoge. For today though, at least, he thinks they deserve it. If this really is going to be a permanent change they can think about what that will involve tomorrow. Right now they can watch Xiaoge’s favourite show, he’ll cook one of Xiaoge’s favourite meals for dinner and make sure Wu Xie takes a break long enough to eat, and then he’ll make sure they all get a decent amount of sleep.

It feels like he’s only been in bed for five minutes when he wakes up. It’s still dark, which means it must be either late at night or very early in the morning. The sun rises early during the summer, much to Pangzi’s consternation because Xiaoge likes to get up with the dawn and go train before it gets too warm.

It’s definitely too early to be awake though, and after reassuring himself that Wu Xie is sleeping deeply beside him and that Xiaoge’s small weight is still on his chest, he opts to close his eyes and go back to sleep.

“Pangzi!”

His eyes snap open again and go crossed as he realises that Xiaoge has climbed into his face and is currently batting his nose with his tiny hands in an attempt to wake him.

“Xiaoge?” Pangzi whispers, trying not to move his mouth as he talks since Xiaoge is currently standing on his lips. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s someone in the house.”

Pangzi goes rigid, a cold spike of adrenaline spearing through his body. How can someone be in their house? They’re in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere. They’re supposed to be safe here.

He reaches out a hand and shakes Wu Xie’s arm. “Tianzhen! Tianzhen, wake up!”

He hears a sleepy snuffle and then a murmured “what?”

“Xiaoge says someone is in the house.”

Wu Xie snaps from asleep to awake in a fraction of a second, reaching under his pillow and pulling out a knife that Pangzi didn’t even know was there.

“Do you know who it is?” Wu Xie asks. “More Wangs?”

Pangzi’s heart breaks that even after all this time Wu Xie is still on edge and prepared for another Wang attack, even though they’re reasonably sure the last of the family died in Thunder City.

“Don’t think so,” Xiaoge replies. “They don’t seem that skilled.”

Well, that’s just insulting, then. Some random goon has broken into their house in the middle of the night. Probably looking to steal some antiques. Well, the joke’s on them. The only thing of any real value in the house is currently being used as Xiaoge’s bathtub.

Wu Xie clearly feels the same way because even in the muted light of their bedroom Pangzi can see the frown on his face. “I’m going out there. Pangzi, wait here and keep Xiaoge safe.”

Yeah, that is absolutely not happening and Pangzi knows Xiaoge would agree.

“Xiaoge will be safe right here,” Pangzi replies. “Look how small he is. No one will find him even if they’re looking for him. Besides, we’ll find this idiot faster if there’s two of us.”

Wu Xie looks back at Xiaoge and Pangzi can see the conflict in his eyes. He understands — he really does. Not a day goes by when he doesn’t worry about Xiaoge and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened to him. But he’s also not about to let Wu Xie, the man he loves more than any brother, go off to face an intruder by himself in the middle of the night.

Pangzi covers Wu Xie’s hand with his own. “Haven’t you been the one telling me that Xiaoge is the same as he was, just smaller? He can handle himself just fine, and if not he know how to hide better than anyone else. The best way to keep him safe is to catch this guy.”

Wu Xie sighs, and Pangzi knows then that he’s won. “Okay.”

“Not okay.”

Xiaoge has moved from Pangzi’s face and is in the process of pulling on one of his hoodies. His intentions are clear even though he hasn’t said anything.

“Xiaoge, no. You can’t come with us.”

Xiaoge ignores him and, once he’s dressed, he pulls out a needle that Pangzi recognises from the sewing kit he has to repair their clothes. When had Xiaoge taken it? He looks as comfortable with it in his hand as he does with his sword, but that doesn’t change the fact that at his current size Xiaoge is in no position to fight anyone.

Wu Xie sighs again. “Xiaoge, I know you’re used to protecting us, but you need to let us handle it this time. I know you can fight, but Pangzi and I won’t be able to if we’re worrying about accidentally hurting you.”

Of course Xiaoge ignores him. He does a few test swings of the needle and Pangzi gets the impression that maybe he’s been practicing with it when Pangzi hasn’t been watching. Satisfied, he threads the needle through the hood of his hoodie in lieu of a sheath and walks down Pangzi’s arm, standing expectantly at his wrist waiting for Pangzi to get out of bed and carry him.

Pangzi glances at Wu Xie, and when Wu Xie meets his eye he knows they’re both thinking the same thing.

“Fine,” Pangzi sighs. “Let me put some jeans on because I’m not fighting a burglar in my underwear.”

He sets Xiaoge down on the table next to the bed while he picks up his jeans off the floor and pulls them on. Wu Xie is waiting for him by the door and as soon as Pangzi is dressed they bolt, closing the door behind them.

Second later there’s a small thud as Xiaoge no doubt hurls himself at the door, but there’s no way he’s getting it open. Even if he manages to jump onto the handle somehow he’s far too small to move it.

“Sorry,” Pangzi murmurs as the thud turns into scratching noises as Xiaoge tries something — Pangzi isn’t sure he wants to know what — to get the door open.

“He’ll forgive us eventually,” Wu Xie says softly and Pangzi hopes that’s true. “Come on, we’ll cover more ground if we split up. You take the left side of the house and I’ll take the right. Yell if you find this asshole.”

Pangzi nods, bumps fists with Wu Xie, and they head off in search for whoever made the foolish mistake of trying to break into their home.

At least he has the advantage of knowing the layout of the house and he heads to the kitchen first. The hammer is still on the table from where he’d been building a tiny chair for Xiaoge after dinner. Well, attempting to, at least. Wu Xie is the builder in their group, but Pangzi hadn’t wanted to drag him away from his research.

He feels better now he’s armed, but there’s no sign of anyone, which is worrying. He really doesn’t want some asshole sneaking up on him. Hopefully Wu Xie is having more luck.

There’s no sign of him in the other bedroom, nor in Wu Xie’s study. If it’s a thief (and Pangzi is starting to hope it is because anything else is so much worse) then the logical place for them to be is the storage room. It’s designed for them to keep any antiques they come across before they send them to Wushanju or Pangzi’s shop to be sold, but since they haven’t been into any tombs for months, the room is practically empty. All that is in it right now are a couple of old vases that Xiaoge had declared to be fake and some pottery pieces that Wu Xie was going to give to the next group of students that came to visit.

There’s a crash from somewhere else in the house. Fuck. Wu Xie.

Pangzi runs in the direction of the sound. If anything has happened to Wu Xie, Pangzi is going to kill this bastard in the most painful way imaginable.

He pushes open the door to the storage room slowly, wincing when it creaks loudly. He’s been meaning to oil those hinges for ages but hasn’t got around to it yet. The one small window allows in a minimum amount of light, mostly to protect the antiques, but it’s enough for him to see the crumpled form of Wu Xie lying in the middle of the floor.

“Tianzhen!”

It’s too dark for him to be able to tell whether Wu Xie is breathing or not, but the cut on his temple that is leaking slow and sticky blood is unmistakable. Pangzi rushes forward, dropping to his knees and gently turning Wu Xie onto his back so he can check for a pulse.

Please, fuck, let him still be alive. He can’t lose him like this after everything they’ve been through together.

He puts a finger under Wu Xie’s nose, hands shaking, then feels his neck for a pulse and almost collapses in relief when he finds it.

“It you scare me like that again I’ll—”

He freezes, unfortunately all too aware of what a knife being pressed against his throat feels like.

“Don’t move.”

He doesn’t recognise the voice, but he does recognise the way it trembles as its owner speaks. Whoever this is, they’re nervous, and that’s actually worse than someone who is calm and confident in what they’re doing. Nervous people make mistakes. Nervous people flinch at unexpected sounds and that’s how Pangzi could end up getting his throat cut. He’s not going to fucking die because some idiot made a mistake.

“Easy,” he says in what he hopes is a calming voice. “No need for anyone else to get hurt over a robbery. Take whatever you want.”

The owner of the voice laughs. “A robbery? You think I’d come all the way out here to steal a few electronics?”

Interesting. It sounds like this man doesn’t even know about their antiques trading. That is definitely not a good sign. The fact that Wu Xie is still alive after coming up against the armed man is potentially good news though. He clearly hasn’t come here to just kill them.

“Where’s your little friend?” the man asks. “I was paid a lot of money to take him back to my employer.”

Little friend. So word of Xiaoge’s current condition has apparently gotten out, then. That changes everything. There’s no way on this earth Pangzi is letting this person leave with Xiaoge. He’ll die first, and given that there’s a knife currently pressed against his throat he might have to. Hopefully as a last resort. He’s resourceful, and he’s not still alive after all this time just because of Wu Xie and Xiaoge.

“Please, don’t hurt him.”

It’s easy to fall into the role of the victim. To pretend that he’s scared and will do whatever this person wants. Anything to get them to let their guard down a little.

“I’m not going to hurt him,” the voice says. “In fact, I was paid extra to bring him back alive. I don’t want to hurt anyone so please, don’t make this difficult for me.”

Pangzi charitably doesn’t point out that Wu Xie is currently unconscious in his lap so it’s a bit late to say you don’t want to hurt anyone.

“Stand up,” the voice says. “Slowly. And don’t try anything or I’ll make you watch while I kill your friend here.”

Pangzi is glad it’s dark and that he has his back to his attacker so the man can’t see the sneer on his face. This asshole doesn’t even have the guts to threaten to kill him, opting for the easier option of killing the man who can’t defend himself. He’s going to enjoy beating the shit out of this guy as soon as he gets the opportunity. It’s unfortunate that he’d put the hammer down while he’d been checking on Wu Xie and picking it up now is going to be too obvious.

For now, he complies and carefully lays Wu Xie back down on the floor before he stands up.

“You know where he is. Take me to him.”

This could work to his advantage. Yes, of course Pangzi knows where Xiaoge is, but this man doesn’t. Pangzi can lead him to any part of the house and then make his move.

“Are you at least going to tell me who is paying you?” Pangzi asks as they walk. He’s not expecting to get an answer but it’s always worth a try. “You know, we’re good friends with a very rich man. I’m sure you’ve heard of Xie Yuchen. He’d pay a lot for you to leave quietly and pretend you never came here.”

The man snorts. “He said you’d lie and claim something like that. I’m sure a restaurant owner in a remote village is friends with Xie Yuchen. And I have tea with the President every week. I’m not a total idiot.”

No, just most of one, Pangzi thinks.

They walk slowly, the knife still pressed against his throat. Pangzi’s mind whirls as he tries to think where he should lead this man. Aside from Xiaoge’s sword and a few gardening tools the house isn’t exactly well armed.

The kitchen.

Even in the dark he can find a multitude of knives, pans and other things that can cause damage.

Thankfully there’s no scratching at the door or any other sound coming from the bedroom and Pangzi hopes Xiaoge heard them coming. The idiot holding him at knifepoint doesn’t even question it when Pangzi leads him straight past it and into the kitchen. Does he think Xiaoge is hanging out in here for a late night snack or something? He deserves the ass kicking Pangzi is about to dish out. He just needs to get the timing right so he doesn’t accidentally end up getting sliced himself.

“So, where is he?”

There’s no way Pangzi can grab a knife or any other sort of weapon without making his intentions immediately obvious. There’s only one thing he can think of, and it’s risky, but he’s going to have to take the chance. If it goes wrong, well, Xiaoge and Wu Xie will be able to take care of each other.

He sends up a silent prayer to any god that is listening, then grabs the wrist of the hand holding the knife and squeezes with everything he has. He hears bones creak and tendons pop. He’s not strong enough to cause any sort of break or fracture but he is strong enough to cause some damage.

He hears the knife clatter to the kitchen floor. The element of surprise had been on his side, thankfully, and he doesn’t seem to be bleeding in any way that’s serious. He’ll check properly later. In the meantime he takes advantage of the distraction and grabs a pan that’s hanging from a hook right above his head.

“You think you can come into my house,” he roars as he brings the pan down over and over again on the head of his attacker. “You think you can hurt my best friend and try to kidnap my boyfriend?”

He’s so fucking angry now. Not just at this attack but about everything. He should be warm in bed right now, cuddling his regular sized boyfriend. He should have his face buried in Xiaoge’s hair, enjoying the scent of the fancy shampoo that he buys as the only luxury item he treats himself to. Instead he’s here, alone, and Xiaoge is tiny and trapped in their bedroom for his own safety. Everything is wrong and Pangzi fucking hates it!

He doesn’t notice the defensive foot kicking out until it makes contact with his shin. It’s just bad luck that it’s the leg he broke when they were leaving Thunder City. It’s always been a bit weaker since then and the strike is enough to send him stumbling backwards.

By the time he’s righted himself the man on the ground has found the knife that he dropped and is pointing it at Pangzi. He’s bleeding from three gashes on his head that Pangzi can see, and he’s unsteady on his feet but he’s upright. Any uncertainty or nervousness is gone from his eyes now. He’s going to kill Pangzi if he gets the chance. Pangzi can see it.

“You fucking lunatic,” the man snarls. “I’m going to—”

Whatever he was going to threaten Pangzi with is cut off as he is tackled to the ground from behind. Wu Xie must have woken up and come to help.

Except he’s not really moving like Wu Xie.

Wait.

Xiaoge kneels on the man’s back as he pins his arms behind him. A regular sized Xiaoge. A regular sized and also very naked Xiaoge.

He looks angry. More angry than Pangzi has ever seen, he thinks. But the rage isn’t directed at him, it's all aimed at the man currently squirming beneath Xiaoge’s knee.

“Uh…” Pangzi eloquently says. Because what the fuck?

“Pangzi,” Xiaoge says far more gently than the anger on his face would suggest. “Get some rope.”

Rope. Right. To tie up the man who had just tried to kill him. But his regular-sized boyfriend had stopped him.

Pangzi thinks maybe he needs to sit down, but he does what Xiaoge says and grabs some rope from the chest where Wu Xie keeps some of his architecture and building supplies. Xiaoge makes quick work of tying the man up, and just from looking at it there’s no way he’s getting out of those knots any time soon.

Satisfied that the danger is over Xiaoge walks over to Pangzi, still completely naked, and lays a hand on his cheek. “Are you hurt?”

Pangzi shakes his head. “No the only one who was hurt was— Fuck! Tianzhen!” He runs past Xiaoge, trusting him to follow, and heads back into the storage room.

Wu Xie is still on the floor, but his eyes are open now and he’s propped up on his elbows, face creased in pain.

“Tianzhen!” Pangzi crashes to his knees next to him and starts gently prodding at the head wound which, thankfully, seems to have mostly stopped bleeding.

“Ow, Pangzi!” Wu Xie hisses when Pangzi’s fingers come into contact with what is apparently a tender part of his skin. Pangzi will have to check him properly but it doesn’t look like Wu Xie has a concussion. His inexplicable good luck at work again, probably.

“What happened?” Wu Xie groans, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Someone made the poor mistake of trying to kidnap Xiaoge while he was small and defenceless,” Pangzi replies. “I’m pretty sure he’s regretting that choice now.”

Wu Xie’s eyes snap open at that. “Xiaoge! Is he okay?”

Pangzi can’t stop himself from beaming as Wu Xie suddenly seems to notice that Pangzi isn’t alone and that Xiaoge is no longer small and defenceless. His eyes widen and his jaw drops.

“Xiaoge! You’re— How? What?”

“Excellent questions,” Pangzi replies. “And we can answer them later. Right now we need to get Xiaoge into some clothes that actually fit him, and we need to look at that head injury of yours and make sure your brains aren’t leaking out. Oh, and I suppose we should do something with Xiaoge’s would-be kidnapper.”

Despite the very recent attack Pangzi feels like he could float away as he sits Wu Xie down on the sofa and Xiaoge pads into their bedroom to get dressed. It’s probably fucked up, but getting attacked in his own home like this has made him feel more alive than he has in months, and the fact that Xiaoge is back to normal is just adding to the giddy sensation.

He murmurs an apology when Wu Xie winces as a slightly firmer than intended antiseptic wipe and tries to concentrate on the task at hand.

“How did Xiaoge change back?” Wu Xie asks while Pangzi works. “Not that I’m not thrilled, but the texts were all quite clear that the change was permanent.”

Pangzi shrugs. “You know how those ancient texts are. One mistranslated word a few hundred years ago and the whole meaning of the passage changes over time. The how isn’t important, anyway. I’m just glad we have him back.”

Xiaoge comes back into the living room, pausing to flash a tiny smile at Pangzi and Wu Xie. Their attacker is slung across his shoulder. Conscious, Pangzi thinks, but he’s wisely not fighting back.

“Where are you taking him?” Pangzi isn’t sure he wants to know the answer but curiosity gets the better of him.

“Away,” Xiaoge replies and apparently that’s the only answer Pangzi is going to get because Xiaoge walks out of the front door into the night.

“Xiaoge will deal with it,” Wu Xie says. “You know we can trust him.”

Of course they can. Pangzi trusts Xiaoge more than any other person he knows. He just wishes he could be there to see the back of the asshole who had nearly gutted him with a knife. Whatever Xiaoge has planned is probably too good for him.

Pangzi glances at his watch. It’ll be dawn soon and since they’re all awake and back to the size they should be they may as well eat.

“I’ll make some breakfast,” he says as he finishes taping a small gauze pad to Wu Xie’s head. “Xiaoge has been eating tiny amounts of food for weeks. He’s probably hungry. And food is good for a head injury. Everyone knows that.”

He heads into the kitchen and starts work on some jianbing. They’re Xiaoge’s favourite, and he deserves it for his first full-sized meal and as thanks for saving Pangzi’s life. Again. He’s only just started frying the first one when Xiaoge comes into the kitchen and hops up onto his usual spot on the counter. It takes everything Pangzi has not to cry at the sight of him. He’s missed Xiaoge here with him, quietly watching him cook. And there’s no danger of Xiaoge fainting or anything dramatic like that now.

“Do you remember everything from when you were small?” Pangzi asks. There’s no reason why he shouldn’t, but tomb curses are unpredictable and that’s before you take into account Xiaoge’s memory issues.

Xiaoge nods and Pangzi isn’t sure whether to be relieved or not. But Xiaoge hops down from the counter and crowds into Pangzi’s space, gently taking the spatula from his hand and setting it to one side. He leans down and presses a soft kiss to Pangzi’s lips. “Thank you for taking such good care of me.”

“You mean apart from the time I nearly boiled you to death in the kitchen? Or the time when I nearly let you drown in the pond? Or the time I let you eat a piece of fruit that was twice your size?” Pangzi lets out a breath. “I’m suddenly very glad I never had children. At least Xiao Mei is already a teenager and I can turn my back on her for five minutes. Xiaoge, I love you, but that was the most stressful time I’ve ever had in my life and I’ve had some pretty fucking stressful experiences.”

Xiaoge kisses him again, then pulls him into his arms. Pangzi hugs him back; he has missed this so much. He really doesn’t want to let go, but he can smell the jianbing and if he doesn’t take it off the heat soon it’s going to burn. Xiaoge deserves better than burned food.

Slowly, agonisingly, he forces himself to pull away. “Can you tell Tianzhen the food is almost ready?”

With a nod Xiaoge leaves the room. Pangzi feels cold and empty without him. He turns his attention back to the food, hoping it will distract him until Xiaoge is back at his side.

“I sent a message to Xiao Hua and Hei Yanjing,” Wu Xie says as they eat. Xiaoge is sitting pressed against Pangzi’s side while he eats, and Wu Xie is pressed against Xiaoge’s other side. Pangzi doesn’t think either of them will be far away from him for long. “I’ve told them Xiaoge is back to normal and asked them to see if they can figure out why. I know it’s not important, but I want to know.”

Pangzi can’t help but snort. ‘I just wanted to know’ will probably be Wu Xie’s dying words some day, hopefully a long time in the future.

“Xiaoge, will you help me feed the chickens and fish after breakfast?” Pangzi asks. It’ll be nice to have Xiaoge at his side while they do their chores instead of riding on his shoulder or in his hand.

Xiaoge nods.

“Tianzhen, you should rest,” Pangzi says even though he knows full well that Wu Xie will do nothing of the sort. There’s a new puzzle for him to solve and he won’t rest until he’s solved it. All Pangzi can do is what he’s been doing since Xiaoge became small: make sure Wu Xie eats and sleeps regularly but other than that leave him to it.

The chickens, who didn’t seem particularly concerned when Xiaoge was small, seem just as unconcerned now that he’s big again. They peck around at his feet and follow him just as they’ve always done. Old Bastard, on the other hand, flicks his tail and splashes Pangzi with water, as though he holds Pangzi personally responsible for his new friend being too big for the pond now.

Xiaoge, apparently sensing the fish’s displeasure, crouches down and trails his fingers in the water until Old Bastard swims over and gently nudges at them.

“You’re on fish duty from now on,” Pangzi grouses as he wrings out his tshirt and brushes water droplets from his hair. “That fish has never liked me, and it barely tolerates Tianzhen.”

Sometimes Pangzi wonders if the the fish can understand him, because at those words Old Bastard swims in a circle which Pangzi swears is an expression of happiness that Xiaoge is now responsible for taking care of him.

Really, his life is too fucking weird.

Given that they’ve been awake since the middle of the night Pangzi makes the decision that they’ll have an early dinner and then head to bed. It’s a logical decision that has nothing at all to do with the fact that he’s spent the whole day looking forward to sleeping with Xiaoge in his arms instead of curled up on his chest.

He’s made Xiaoge’s favourite wonton soup to go with dinner, as well as some pork dumplings. Now that Xiaoge is back to normal it’s easier to cook without dwelling on the memory of the time Xiaoge had fainted in the kitchen. Perhaps in a few days he’ll stop spoiling Xiaoge with food, but until that time comes they’ll all be eating Xiaoge’s favourite dishes and he doesn’t think anyone will complain about it.

“Drag Tianzhen away from his books and tell him that dinner is almost ready,” Pangzi says, and Xiaoge hops down off the counter. Pangzi is trying his best not to panic whenever Xiaoge is out of his sight. It’s getting easier. Slowly.

He places the dishes on the table and by the time he brings the tea out Xiaoge and Wu Xie are seated. Wu Xie looks… well, Pangzi isn’t sure how to describe it but something is definitely wrong.

“Do I want to know?” Pangzi asks, trying to keep the mood light as he serves food into Wu Xie and Xiaoge’s bowls. “It doesn’t look like I do.”

Wu Xie sighs and that does nothing to make Pangzi feel any better.

“Come on,” Pangzi says, “eat first, then hit us with the bad news. Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it together.”

“It’s not bad,” Wu Xie says but only after Pangzi has glared at him until he’s taken a bite of one of the dumplings. “It’s just…I don’t know, really.”

Pangzi waits for him to continue. It’s clear that whatever this is Wu Xie is still trying to figure it out in his mind. Something to do with Xiaoge, maybe? Or something about the man who attacked them? There doesn’t seem to be any imminent danger at least so Pangzi allows himself to relax a little.

After a moment Wu Xie twists in his seat so that he’s facing Xiaoge. “Xiaoge, tell me what happened last night when you turned back to your normal size. Don’t leave out any details. It could be the key to all this.”

Xiaoge’s face twists with displeasure — whether at having to talk or at remembering the previous night, Pangzi isn’t sure. Maybe it’s both.

“You shut me in the bedroom.” Xiaoge says it softly, but it’s clear he’s still unhappy about that particular event. “I jumped onto the door handle but I was too small to move it. I kept trying, then I heard fighting coming from the kitchen and I heard Pangzi yelling. Then all of a sudden I was big again and I ran to help him.”

Wu Xie nods and, far from looking unhappy, his eyes are bright with excitement now. “And how were you feeling when you turned back? Right before it happened I mean.”

Xiaoge shrugs. “Worried. Frustrated. Angry. I was scared Pangzi or you would be hurt and I couldn’t do anything to help.”

“And you wanted nothing more than to get the door open so you could help us, right?” Wu Xie is clearly going somewhere with this but Pangzi isn’t following. Something to do with Xiaoge’s emotions turned him back.

Wu Xie bangs his hand on the table, making the cups and bowls rattle. “That’s it! Xiaoge, when I said what had happened to you was permanent, that was true. It is true, I mean.”

“But—”

Wu Xie keeps talking. “It’s permanent, but you can change if you want to, if you really focus and want it badly enough. That’s what we missed from the books. The change is permanent but a strong mind can adapt. I think it’s something about personal growth. I’ll need to look into it some more. You could probably make yourself smaller again if you really wanted it.”

“No!” Pangzi yells. “I mean, you don’t want to be small again, right Xiaoge? Think of your poor Pang-ye’s blood pressure.”

Xiaoge looks like he’s considering it, because of course he is.

“Could be useful,” he finally muses and Pangzi sighs and bangs his head on the table. He really can’t go through this again.

“We can practice,” Wu Xie replies. “I mean you can practice and Pangzi and I will help you. Maybe some meditations? I’m sure Hei Yanjing will have some ideas. We’ll invite him up when things have settled a little more.”

“Pangzi?”

Pangzi raises his head from the table when he realises Xiaoge is talking to him. From the look in his eyes he’s not just talking, he’s asking. He remembers the smile on Xiaoge’s face as he swam in the pond with Old Bastard, and when he was climbing up Wu Xie’s bookshelves. Clearly being small hadn’t been quite as stressful for Xiaoge as it had been for Pangzi.

“Okay,” Pangzi agrees, because how can he say no to Xiaoge about anything, really? “But you have to tell us before you do your shrinking trick, okay? And nothing too dangerous while you’re small. And—”

He really wants to tell Xiaoge that he has to turn back before bedtime so Pangzi can sleep with Xiaoge in his arms. But is it fair for him to make such a request?

“Only until bedtime,” Xiaoge agrees to the request Pangzi hadn’t even vocalised. This is why they work so well together. They know what each other is thinking without them needing to speak.

“Okay,” Pangzi agrees and this time he means it. “But for now let’s clear the dishes and get some sleep. I think we all need it.”

He doesn’t ask Wu Xie whether he’ll be joining them that night. He’s not a monster and of course he’s not going to make Wu Xie sleep in his own room the first night Xiaoge is back to his normal size.

It’s surprising how easy it is for them all to quickly slip back into their old routine. They take it in turns in the bathroom: Xiaoge first, then Wu Xie and finally Pangzi before they all get into bed. Xiaoge sleeps in the middle, with Wu Xie on one side and Pangzi on the other.

Pangzi can’t help but sigh happily as he slides into bed and wraps his arms around Xiaoge. When Xiaoge nuzzles his face into Pangzi’s neck Pangzi is fairly sure he never wants to leave this bed again.

“I missed this,” he murmurs as Wu Xie’s soft snores fill the room.

Xiaoge lets out a contented hum which Pangzi takes to mean he missed it, too.

Finally, for the first time in weeks, Pangzi sleeps well.