Chapter 1: if you search for tenderness, it isn't hard to find
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"Fuck, fuck, motherfucking christ, jesus, fuck," Sirius muttered as he tore off his steaming shirt and pants and tried to ignore the frankly disturbing sounds coming from outside.
The young man had just gotten home after a 16-hour shift at the hospital, and he was not in the fucking mood. As soon as he'd gotten home, he sped through a shower, changed into pajamas, and heated up some leftover soup James had sent with him last weekend, and all he wanted was to eat and watch some mindless TV, and that was exactly what he had been about to do, at least until something made a loud crashing sound outside, and he flinched so badly that he spilled his hot soup all over himself.
Now his thighs and stomach were burning, his clothes were unwearable, the couch was ruined, there was soup everywhere, and some-animal-or something was probably dying from blunt force trauma in his front yard. Fuck.
He sighed and walked into the laundry room. Doctors didn’t need sleep, right?
Once he found a shirt and old football shorts good enough for his own front yard at 5:30 in the morning on a Wednesday, the strange noises had mostly stopped, and Sirius deemed it safe enough to venture outside. After all, if he didn't, one of his neighbors would, and that could only result in a call from the commonhold.
Walking toward the front door, he wondered idly if the sun was out yet. As an ER doctor who often worked overtime, he missed the sunrise and sunset most days, and his thick curtains rarely let any light in, a so far unsuccessful strategy to combat his insomnia.
The sun was not out. It was dark as fuck. He tripped on a rock.
"I hope you're happy with yourself," he muttered, even as he clearly saw absolutely nothing in the yard. Groaning, he walked around to the side of the house and stopped short.
There was trash everywhere. The garbage bins were completely overturned, old food was strewn across the lawn, and the bin lids had rolled into the neighbor's property. Christ, this would take hours to clean up.
Just as he was setting the lids back on his side of the property line, he heard a thud and a low moan.
With one last mournful look at his front door, Sirius traipsed into the backyard, and got his third shock of the morning.
A massive grey wolf was laying sprawled out in his bushes, blood from a dozen wounds leaking sluggishly into the dirt. Immediately, Sirius snapped into ER mode.
First, he ran his hand along the inside of the animal’s inner thigh until he found a pulse - slow, but definitely there. Then, he checked quickly for any head, neck, or back injuries, and finding none, carefully lifted the thing in his arms, wincing at the feeling of blood on his bare skin. He stumbled to the back door, staggering under the weight of the easily 200 lb canine. The door swung open easily which meant he forgot to lock it again, but within two minutes, Sirius was setting the wolf down on the cement floor of his basement.
Next, he ran upstairs and grabbed his emergency medical bag and ran back downstairs, then ran back upstairs when he remembered that wounds on dogs should be cleaned with water and got several wet towels.
When he made it back downstairs, he quickly knelt and started taking stock of the injuries. They all seemed to be surface level claw marks with what looked like large bite marks here and there, nothing deep but several long and still bleeding.
“All right, bud, I’m gonna start cleaning some of these scratches,” Sirius told the dog, a habit he’d picked from one of his instructors. The wolf didn’t give any sign of awareness, not even when he touched the wet cloth to the biggest scratch on the animal’s back. “Something really got you good, huh, buddy?”
He continued cleaning the wounds and eventually moved onto bandages until the wolf’s whole abdomen as well as a hind leg were all wrapped in bandages. Sirius would still have to have the animal seen by a vet, but for now, it would do.
He moved to stand but stopped when the wolf gave an absolutely pitiful whine and turned its snout toward Sirius. It whined again.
“Hey, buddy,” he whispered, rubbing the animal behind the ears. “Good morning.”
Suddenly, the animal’s eyes opened wide, revealing beautiful amber orbs, and the thing fucking screamed. Horrified, Sirius fell backward, and there was nothing he could do but watch as the wolf writhed on the floor, and, as if that wasn’t enough, its fur started disappearing, pulled back into what looked like golden-tan human skin. The elongated snout retreated to form a normal human nose, the ears shrank, leading into matted light brown curls, and the clawed paws turned into human hands, stained with blood, and then Sirius was looking at a fully grown human man.
“What the fuck?”
-
Later
In the hours since Sirius had first found the wolf-man in his bushes, things had not become any clearer.
After the initial shock of having a shapeshifter in his house had worn off, Sirius had attempted to carry the man to the couch and failed miserably (the guy was tall and muscley; Sirius doubted even James could lift him), and then scoured the internet for information on werewolves, never straying more than five feet from the man.
All of his searching had yielded little results, however. According to google, werewolves could either retain their mind in wolf form or not (jury was still out on that one), shift whenever they wanted or only during the night of the full moon (the night before had apparently been a full moon, so that one was still up in the air as well), were sterile or overly fertile (there was no way to check that without medical facilities or an egg and a nine month wait), incredibly ugly or incredibly beautiful (Sirius thought he had figured that one out), along with dozens of other contradictions, and he had yet to find a reliable source, shockingly.
The whole thing had really just left him feeling like he’d stumbled into an episode of Supernatural, only compounded by the dark, cement basement of Number 12, Grimmauld Place.
After about four hours of no information, he finally decided to just wait until the man woke up, although that posed a whole different problem.
The man was completely bare-ass naked, and he was absolutely beautiful.
Scratch that. There were bandages covering most of his stomach and chest as well as his upper left thigh, but other than that, he wasn’t wearing anything.
But that had nothing to do with Sirius’ reluctance to cover him in a blanket.
Speaking of, it seemed the gorgeous fellow was finally waking up. Sirius set his phone on the floor and watched the man blink himself to consciousness.
Once his eyes were most of the way open ( vibrant amber , Sirius noted, just like the wolf) the man scrambled upright until his bandaged back hit the hard gray wall, eliciting a wince. His eyes flickered around the basement, and he paled.
Sirius couldn’t blame him. Grimmauld Place’s basement was creepy despite his attempts to brighten it up. The white couch, blue shag rug, and yellow armchair just weren’t a match against the faulty wiring, water stains, cement walls, and creaky pipes.
“Who are you? Where am I? Am I naked?” He looked down and frowned. “Did you do these bandages?”
Sirius scooted forward, feeling the odd need to be close to the man now that he was lucid. And human.
Answering his questions honestly now that he had heard the deep timber of the man’s voice with the hint of a Welsh accent would be difficult, but Sirius would give it his best shot. “I’m Sirius Black. You’re at my house in London. You’ve got bandages and a blanket but no clothes, and I’m an ER doctor, so you don’t need to worry about them being bad or anything.” He paused. “I’m actually surprised they held through your transformation.” It was a considerable feat, for sure, as the human abdomen and thighs were much different sizes than those of wolves. Sirius’ had even checked them afterward while he was sleeping, and they were still tight. There wasn’t even any stray fur stuck to them.
The man’s eyes widened. “You saw that?”
Sirius nodded. “How did the bandages hold between forms?” he asked, then mentally kicked himself for not asking something more important.
The man blinked a few times as if he, too, wasn’t expecting that question. “I don’t know. It’s always been like that.” Then, “Any chance I could get some clothes?”
Actually, no. “Yeah, sorry!” Sirius stood, and the man stood with him, fumbling to wrap the blanket around his waist, though there was really no point as Sirius had seen everything while taking care of his wounds after the transformation. He didn’t say anything, however, and motioned for the man to follow him toward the stairs. “What’s your name?”
“Remus,” he said sheepishly. He was still glancing around as if expecting the walls to start closing in or shooting spikes or something equally disturbing. Again, not that Sirius could blame him. As a child, he had been just as afraid of the dark places in Grimmauld Place, though for different reasons.
He nodded at the man’s name. “Fitting.”
Remus furrowed his eyebrows. “Sorry?”
“Your name, from Romulus and Remus.” When the man gave him a baffled look, Sirius continued. “The brothers raised by the wolf? Romulus killed Remus and went on to found Rome.” The man didn’t say anything but continued to look confused. “Sorry, I forget sometimes that not everyone was raised on the classics.”
“It’s alright,” Remus said quickly. “I always knew it was weird. Now I know what it means.”
Sirius narrowed his eyes, surprised that no one had ever explained his name to him. Sure, most people didn’t have tutors to make sure they memorized the stories of old, but a teacher, or his parents, or some adult should have known, but Sirius decided not to comment. “You’re in good company. My name is the brightest-”
“-brightest star in the sky,” Remus finished. “Part of the Canis Major constellation. The dog star.” At Sirius’ shocked look, Remus blushed and looked down.
Sirius paused, waiting for an explanation, and when there was none, he raised an eyebrow as they started up the gloomy staircase. “You know the stars but not the story of the most famous country in history?”
Remus’ blush deepened. “Had a bit of a weird childhood.”
Sirius would’ve asked him to elaborate, but a sudden gasp stopped him. He whipped around to see Remus hunched over and clutching his thigh through the blanket. “Shit, I’m sorry! You must be in a lot of pain.”
Remus looked up at him through long black eyelashes. “It’s alright-”
“No, how about you go sit on the couch while I get some water and paracetamol?” Sirius gently guided him to the couch before he could protest. “I’ll be right back!”
With that, he ran up the stairs to the bathroom and took out the little bottle of painkillers then ran back to the kitchen to fill up a cup of water. Standing at the sink, he happened to glance at the little picture on his fridge of James, Regulus, and Lily and made a mental note to text them in case Remus killed him or something.
Once the cup was full, he ran back downstairs to find Remus not on the couch, but standing with his hand poised above the door. “You’re not leaving, are you?”
Remus looked over to him, a guilty expression on his face. “I need to go.”
“Well, I don’t know where you think you’re going without clothes, but as your doctor, I cannot permit you to leave my care,” Sirius declared, not entirely for show. If Remus left before his wounds were properly cleaned and stitched, he ran the risk of infection or reopening them and bleeding out, and Sirius really doubted the man was heading to a hospital after this.
Remus’ expression went blank. “I’ll be fine-”
“No, you’ll get sick and die, so you’re going to sit and let me take care of you properly,” Sirius said, and pointed to the couch for emphasis.
With one last mournful look at the door, Remus sighed. “Fine, but I’m leaving as soon as you’re done.”
“Fine.” Sirius watched him limp awkwardly for the couch and sit down carefully.
“And I still need clothes.”
“Fine.” Sirius set the glass of water and pill bottle on the little table text to the couch. “But you’re gonna have to deal with whatever clothes I can find down here because I’m not leaving you alone again.”
Remus didn’t even turn his head. “Whatever.”
Sirius sighed. He didn’t even know if there were any clothes in the basement; nobody but him ever came down here. He glanced around. The only place he could think of was Kreacher’s old bedroom, but the man had meticulously cleaned out his quarters once he realized Sirius, not Regulus, was to inherit the property due to a mistake in the filing of his disownment papers. There wasn’t anywhere else, however, and Sirius soon found himself entering the bedroom.
While smaller than the rooms in the rest of the house, it was still a decent size, larger than an average bedroom, with a bare queen size bed shoved to the corner of the back and right side wall taking up the majority of the space. Like the rest of the basement, the walls were grey cement and studded with water stains, and poor wiring caused an unfortunate flickering of lights. Upon immediate entrance, Sirius didn’t see any clothes, though he hadn’t expected any. Even when Kreacher lived there, the man had been totally anal about tidiness, a trait he had failed miserably in trying to beat into Sirius as a child.
He walked over to the closet on the left side of the room and opened it. There was nothing hanging up, but there was a small duffel bag on the floor that definitely hadn’t been there the last time Sirius was in this room.
The good news was that it was full of clothes. The bad news was that they were Regulus’.
“Okay, I found some, but they’re probably gonna be really tight,” Sirius warned as he walked back into the main part of the basement, relieved to see Remus right where he’d left him.
The man simply nodded and put a hand out. It seemed he was no longer talking now that Sirius was forcing him to stay.
Once he had the clothes in his hands, just an old grey t-shirt, black sweatpants that Sirius suspected were actually James’, and a pair of boxers, Remus sat there awkwardly for a second before saying, “Can you turn around?”
Sirius once again felt the need to remind the man that he was a doctor and had already seen everything anyways, but whatever made him feel more comfortable. He turned to face the bedroom. “You might as well wait on the pants and shirt since I have to rebandage and clean everything.”
There was a grunt of affirmation before Sirius heard the man sit down, and then a, “You can turn back around now.”
Sirius spun and tried not to stare. The underwear was sinfully tight, hiding nothing of the man's considerable assets within them.
He shook himself off. Remus needed healing and nothing else.
He went to grab his bag off the floor where he had first brought the wolf in and brought it back over to the couch. While he pulled on gloves and took his equipment out, he said, "You should take the paracetamol. Sutures hurt."
Remus glared at him but grabbed the pills off the table, swallowing them dry. He wrinkled his nose. "You're a doctor and the strongest painkiller you have is paracetamol?"
Sirius paused in his ministrations and looked at Remus. "They tend to not like it when we take the drugs home."
Remus' brow furrowed. "Really?" The scary part was, he didn’t seem to be kidding.
Where the hell had this guy been his whole life? "Yes, oddly enough. Now, lay down. It'll be easier that way."
Obediently, Remus shifted so he was laying horizontally across the couch, and Sirius began to unwrap the bandages and gauze from his abdomen. "I'm gonna start by cleaning out these little ones, then I'll do the bite on your thigh, and then I'm gonna have you flip over to get the wounds on your back, okay?" He pulled the coffee table closer to the couch and sat down lightly.
Remus nodded and relaxed into the cushions, not so much as flinching when he saw the suturing needle. Sirius had to hand it to the man; he was either very brave or very stupid. Sirius had witnessed full grown adults reduced to tears upon seeing the curved instrument they were about to be stuck with. Hell, James had bawled just watching Sirius get stitches as teens.
Finally, all the bandages were off Remus' stomach, and Sirius looked down and stared. Slowly, he brought his eyes up to meet Remus’, several questions in his eyes. “These are almost completely healed.”
Remus nodded nonchalantly. “So they are.”
Sirius just stared at him. “Why the fuck are the wounds that were bleeding profusely not five hours ago suddenly gone?”
Remus smirked, and Sirius couldn’t deny that the dimples were doing things to his stomach. “Dunno. ‘S’always been like that.”
Sirius glared at him. The man was frustrating in the best possible way, and it was terrible. “Are you always this nice to pretty doctors that save your life?”
“If I meet one, I’ll let you know.”
Sirius’ jaw dropped. “I’m fucking beautiful, and you know it.”
“Sure, pretty boy.”
Sirius clenched his jaw. It’s not like he needed affirmation of his beauty; he knew what he looked like, but still. Rude. “Is there anything else I should know?”
Remus appeared to think for a moment. “The silver thing is true.” Sirius nodded and began to stand only for Remus to say, “And bites don’t heal nearly as fast as scratches.”
Sirius turned back toward him with a huff and began to unwrap the bandages at his thigh. “You couldn’t have led with that?”
The black-haired man tried to ignore the swooping feeling in his stomach when Remus smirked again.
Once the bandages were on the floor, Sirius set about cleaning and sterilizing the wound (which was not yet showing signs of infection but was still a considerable size and weeping blood), and was further impressed when Remus only let out a few small grunts. The process took longer than Sirius was expecting because, as Remus had mentioned, it was fresh compared to the other wounds, and it looked as if another wolf had grabbed him on the leg and not let go, resulting in several long, deep gashes.
After a couple minutes, Remus closed his eyes and pressed his head into the arm rest. “Go ahead and ask your questions. I know you have them.”
The declaration took Sirius a bit by surprise. Sure, he had questions; he had many, actually. Really, he was dying to know everything about this mysterious man that had been dumped in his bushes, broken and bleeding, and he wanted to destroy whatever had put him there, but Sirius was a doctor first and foremost. His job was to heal, not pry, and the man had clearly come into Sirius’ life needing exactly that, so that was what Sirius would give to him as best he could. (Of course, there were the rare cases in which his job was to pry, such as when frantic parents brought toddlers in with crayons stuck up their noses or when horny and stupid adults came in with different objects stuck in the opposite end.)
However, he wasn’t going to say no to an opportunity to question a freaking werewolf, and a beautiful one at that.
But first came first. He wiped down the needle with another alcohol wipe. “Now for the fun part. You may want to bite down on something.”
Remus set his jaw. “I’ll be fine.”
“Suit yourself,” Sirius shrugged, and pushed the needle in. Immediately, Remus tensed but didn’t make any noise. Sirius took that as an indication that he could still ask questions. “How did you end up in my bushes?”
Remus cracked open an eye. “Really?” he panted. “You’re giving a werewolf stitches, and that’s your first question?”
“Second question, technically, and yes,” Sirius said curtly, tying up the first gash.
Remus shook his head and let out a little gasp when Sirius started on the next one. “I got into a fight with-” he gasped again “-with my pack leader, so he’s giving me a time out.”
Sirius’ blood went cold. “So you’re not the only one?”
Remus laughed, a tight, thin sound. “How do you think I was turned? Greyback bit me.”
“Greyback?”
“My pack leader. He gives the orders, and we follow them.”
Sirius started on the third gash. “What did you argue about?”
Remus laid his arm over his eyes and grimaced. Sirius didn’t think it was entirely because of the pain. “He wanted me to turn someone.”
The shorter man’s hand quavered on the needle, and he nearly missed a stitch. “What?”
Remus nodded. “You might not believe it, but most of us would be perfectly alright with letting the whole species die out, but Greyback is a bloodthirsty bastard. He enjoys turning people, and he likes them as young as possible.”
Sirius paused, unable to make his hands move. “How old were they?”
“She’s 26. Same as I am.” His voice was tight.
Sirius wondered idly if Remus had known the girl and if that was why he had such a reaction to her suffering, then felt guilty about the disappointment it brought him. “How old were you?”
Remus shook his head. “That’s enough questions for now. My turn.”
Sirius supposed that was fair.
He forced his hands to move again, and Remus waited a bit for the pain to pass before biting out, “Why didn’t you call the cops?” Then, as an afterthought, “Or animal control?”
Sirius thought back to that morning. Why hadn’t he called the cops? “Dunno. Maybe sleep deprivation and hunger caused a temporary insanity.” Or it was the shock of finding a wolf-turned-drop-dead gorgeous man in his bushes.
Remus cracked an eye open. “Wow. I’m so glad you’re healing me.”
Sirius laughed. “It’s better than letting you die in my yard. Any other questions?”
Remus was silent for a moment. “How does an ER doctor in his,” he paused, letting his slip over Sirius’ form, “mid twenties afford an estate like this?”
Sirius let a breath out of his nose even though he knew that question was coming. “Rich parents and botched disownment papers. I was more shocked than anyone, let me tell you.”
Remus nodded, though he didn’t look any more informed.
Good. It wasn’t exactly a topic Sirius enjoyed discussing.
“Why haven’t you sold it, then?”
That question was a surprise. The thing most people said after he mentioned his parents’ fortune and the mistaken will was if he thought he was lucky to have come into so much money. “I don’t really have an answer to that one either. I guess it was the thought of another family adding their own miseries to it when it’s already seen so much.” Sirius blinked, surprised by his own words. He certainly hadn’t meant to get so philosophical with a man he had just met.
But it was the truth. No one in his family had been happy when they’d lived there. This house had seen more blood, tears, and suffering in the 16 years Sirius had lived in it as a child than most houses saw in their entire lifetimes.
Remus nodded like he understood, though, and they sat in companionable silence with the occasional grunt while Sirius worked.
Then, Remus spoke. “I was four when Greyback turned me.”
Sirius looked up sharply, but Remus continued. “He broke in through my bedroom window, bit me, and dragged me with him to the Den, this old building in the middle of the woods. He raised me there with the other wolves to be his second in command. I worshiped him at first; how could I not? I was a child, and he told me that he saved me from the horrors of human society, and I believed him. The man has a weird charisma. I found out years later that he went back and killed my parents. That was around the time I stopped believing him.”
Sirius waved a hand. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to-”
“It wasn’t just that, though,” Remus continued, ignoring him. “Another guy Greyback had turned came to the Den. Benjy Fenwick. He was around my age. He taught me how to read and some other normal person stuff. Then, he kissed me, and I thought we were gonna run away together.” Remus took a deep breath. “Then Greyback killed him the night we were supposed to leave.”
Sirius couldn’t hold it in any longer; he gasped, loudly. “Oh my god.”
When Remus laughed, there was no humor in it. “We’ve made life hell for each other ever since.”
Sirius looked up then to see a tear rolling down Remus’ face, and if his gloved hands weren’t covered in blood and pus, he would have wiped it away. “What if you didn’t go back?”
Sirius was lucky he had paused his suturing, because Remus’ whole body jolted. “What?”
He cleared his throat. He couldn’t quite believe he was saying it, either. “Don’t go back to Greyback. Stay here.” Apparently, he had reached the point of sleep deprivation where he offered random hot werewolves a place in his home.
But Remus was already shaking his head. “I have to go back, Sirius.”
Oh, how beautiful his name sounded rolling off Remus’ tongue. “Why? He’s a murderer; why do you want to go back to that?”
Remus opened and closed his mouth a few times. “I can’t just not go back.”
“Give me one good reason.” He was committed now.
“I’m the only thing standing between Greyback and the rest of the wolves.”
Alright, that was a pretty good reason, but it was still something Sirius could work around. “How many more wolves are there?”
“Eight.”
Sirius cocked his head. “Really?” He’d been expecting at least a dozen from the sounds of this Greyback.
Remus snorted. “Greyback’s a bit of an angry dictator, and since werewolf-ism isn’t hereditary…the numbers are running low.”
Sirius shuddered. He couldn’t even imagine the life Remus had lived up to this point, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. It almost made him grateful for his own parents. If there was one thing that could be said of them, they had never killed any of his boyfriends. They had tried, but they’d never gone through with it.
“You could bring them here. I have the space.”
Remus bristled. “We don’t need your charity.”
“It’s not charity! It’s…leaving an angry dictator,” Sirius argued.
Remus rolled his eyes (but he didn’t say no). “I’ll think about it.”
Sirius grinned. Remus would be saying yes before he left. Sirius would make sure of it.
-
Once the stitches were finished and Remus had (regrettably) put the borrowed pants and shirt on (which were predictably and amazingly tight), Sirius was starving and exhausted, and he suddenly realized he had been up for over 24 hours, and he hadn’t eaten in almost ten.
“You hungry?” Sirius asked Remus as he pulled his shirt down yet again over his wonderful abs. “I think I might still have some soup.”
Remus nodded, and the pair walked up the stairs only for Sirius to realize he hadn’t cleaned the soup out of the couch yet.
Remus sniffed. “Are we eating out of the furniture?”
Sirius wrinkled his nose. “No, you arsehole. I have some leftover.” He led Remus into the kitchen and busied himself with making the soup, going for reheated in a pot rather than reheated in the microwave. If Remus was getting a hot meal, it wasn’t going to be microwaved.
While he was rummaging around for a pot, Remus glanced at the fridge. “Who are they?” he asked. Sirius looked up to see him pointing at the little picture of James and Lily kissing Regulus on either cheek with the younger Black smiling the widest smile Sirius had seen from him in the middle. It was one of Sirius' all time favorites; getting all three of them to stand still together long enough for a picture, and then to get Regulus smiling as well was a once in a lifetime event.
"That's my family," Sirius answered as he straightened with a pot in hand.
Remus cocked his head. "I'm assuming not the family you grew up with?"
Sirius nodded, then started pouring the soup into the pot. He flicked the stove on. "Parents died a couple years ago. 'S'how I got the house." He hesitated. "The one in the middle is my little brother, though. Regulus." Then, since Remus had been so honest with him: "I ran away when I was 16 and didn't talk to him until he turned 18 and left. We're close now, though." They'd had to be, once he and James got together.
"And this one?" Remus asked, pointing at the photo.
Sirius stirred the soup. "That's James." He hesitated on the rest of an introduction, unsure how to put into words what exactly James meant to him. The two had been through thick and thin together: meeting at boarding school at 11 and becoming fast friends, sharing everything, running to him whenever things got bad. Finally, he landed on, "My brother," and his eyes widened as he realized his mistake.
He coughed and hurried to amend himself. "Adopted brother, that is to say. I moved in with him after I ran away, and he and Regulus started dating about a year later. There's no incest, I swear. Well, none after us." He bit his lip to keep from adding anything else that might scare off his new friend.
Thankfully, Remus seemed more confused than horrified, and he didn't comment. Sirius took that as an invitation to introduce the last of the three. "The ginger is Lily. She and James got together just before he and Reg did. They started out bumpy, but they're very happy now." Sirius figured that was the best way to condense the several months of dancing around they had all done that year.
Remus still looked confused, and more than a little wistful, so Sirius said, "I think the soup's done."
A minute later, they were sitting around the kitchen table and slurping their soup in relative silence.
Remus spoke. "What about you?"
With his mouth full of noodles and chicken broth, Sirius gave him a look of confusion.
"Are you with someone?"
Sirius thought he heard a little something extra in his voice, but that was probably just wishful thinking. "Nope. Just me."
Remus set his empty bowl to the side. "Isn't it lonely, all alone out here?"
Yes. "Not really. James and them visit often enough. Besides, I'm pretty busy with the ER. And, when he's home, my neighbor comes over to bother me." And boy was he good at it. Gilderoy Lockhart had a huge inheritance and an ego to match it, and, honestly, the sex was only mediocre. "What about you? Have you got anyone?"
Remus blushed and shook his head. "Not since Benjy."
The smile slid off Sirius' face. "Fuck, I'm sorry."
Remus waved him off. "It's alright. It's more lack of opportunity than anything else."
Sirius looked over to him. "Really?" With a body like his, Sirius was surprised the man wasn't married. (Not that looks were everything, of course, but the man clearly wasn't lacking in the mind and personality departments, either.)
Remus nodded. "Benjy was the only one around my age, and that's been almost ten years ago now." He glanced up, a bashful look in his eyes. "But maybe that's changing?"
Sirius was careful to keep his face neutral as he chewed a noodle, then made a point of letting his eyes slip over the outline of Remus' abs through his tight shirt. "Do you want it to?" Sirius wasn't stupid; he knew exactly where this was headed, but the lead up was part of the fun.
Remus appeared to think for a moment. "I think I'd like that."
So Sirius set his mostly empty bowl to the side and began to slide his bare foot up Remus' leg. He raised an eyebrow upon reaching the top. "Someone's excited."
Remus gulped. "It's been a very long time."
"Is that so?" Sirius bit his bottom lip seductively and stood, making his way around the table to drape himself across Remus’ lap. “I guess I’ll just have to fix that.”
He put a hand on the back of Remus’ head and pulled him in, closing the short distance between them with a deep kiss. Pretty soon, they were making their way to the bedroom where they both fell asleep after a mindblowing night, and Sirius wondered how he had gone so long sleeping alone.
Until he woke up the next morning by himself, the other side of the bed still warm, and the ghost of a kiss imprinted on his lips.
Notes:
chapter title from billy joel's 'honesty'
Chapter 2: if the choice were mine to make
Notes:
tw for blood, injury, violence, and brief mentions of death. nothing too graphic though
chapter title from billy joel's 'and so it goes'
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The next few months saw Sirius in a daze. Everyday, he went to work, came home, ate, and visited James, Reg, and Lily on his off days, but he constantly caught himself looking around for a beautiful brown haired man with amber eyes and was disappointed every time.
It got worse. He ended up downloading a moon phase tracking app on his phone and had taken to spending the night of the full on his front porch. All of his targeted ads were astrology and fantasy-genre related from all the googling he’d done about werewolves. Thankfully, he never reached the point where he looked up Remus’ born 26 years ago in the hospital’s records, but he came close several times.
He would have started believing he’d hallucinated the whole thing if it weren’t for the bloodstains still on the basement floor. After a couple weeks, though, he did finally gather up the courage to venture downstairs and clean that and the soup out of the couch, but other than that, he mostly just existed.
It got so bad that after two months of sulking, James asked him what was wrong, and, upon Sirius dumping all of the events of that day out, declared he needed to find someone and forced him on a blind date with some guy called Caradoc Dearborn, who turned out to be a lovely man, really.
There was just one problem: Sirius didn’t want lovely. He wanted Remus.
He wanted the cheeky, gorgeous, scarred werewolf who knew about the stars but not Rome, who wasn’t afraid of stitches but teared up talking about his packmates, who was prideful but didn’t bat an eye at Sirius’ fucked up family. He wanted that.
Alas, after six full moons without any werewolves being dumped in his yard, he finally gave up hope and agreed to go on another date with Caradoc.
Until a John and Jane Doe in their mid-twenties, both with glowing amber eyes, were carted into the ER the morning after the full moon.
-
“BP is dropping,” Lily warned as she walked around Sirius to start prepping the man.
Sirius just nodded, already beginning to work on him. It was quickly apparent that Remus had far more injuries than the woman and would bleed out soon if they didn’t do something and fast. Closer inspection revealed a minor head wound, at least a dozen deep scratches wrapped around his torso, far worse than the ones he had when Sirius found him six months ago, and his legs and arms were littered with shallower scratches and bite marks. Sirius didn’t even need an x-ray to see that Remus had broken a hand, probably an arm as well, and his breathing indicated a broken rib. It didn’t help that he was also covered in dirt and leaves.
From Remus’ stories, Sirius had no doubt that whatever happened had to do with Greyback. He just wondered what the hell they had done to piss him off this badly.
They weren’t going back this month. Sirius wouldn’t allow it.
Miraculously, they managed to stitch up all his wounds and set the bones before he bled out, and three hours later, Remus was out of surgery and being rolled into the ICU, but Sirius didn’t stick around any longer than it took to get him situated. He ran straight to his boss with Lily hot on his heels having deduced that something was up.
“Sirius, what’s going on?” she asked, slightly breathless.
He ignored her and turned to Poppy, a short, middle-aged woman. “Where did the EMTs find those two?”
Poppy just held up a hand and finished whatever she was saying to one of the interns whose name Sirius hadn’t bothered to learn yet. He’d figured out a long time ago there was no point getting to know the interns before they were sure to finish the program.
Once they were gone, Poppy turned to Sirius with a stern look in her eyes.
Whatever. It’s not like he pushed the kid or anything.
She finally answered him: “Some kids were camping in the woods and found them unconscious like this. They’re claiming there were wolves, which would certainly explain those bite marks.”
She got a thoughtful look in her eyes that Sirius had come to associate with patients that had particularly bad stories. It wasn’t unusual to see looks like that around the hospital; Lily once told him that his made him look like he was about to cry, to which he had responded that hers looked like a sneeze.
“There are no wild wolves in England,” Lily said with a frown.
Sirius glanced at her. “What?”
She nodded. “The last wolf in the UK was shot in 1680, and they haven’t been reintroduced.” Sirius caught her eye and tried to convey that she needed to stop talking. She must have finally realized what was going on because her eyes went wide, and she muttered, “...but maybe it was coyotes.”
Poppy just nodded. “Well, I’ve got to get back to my rounds, as should you two.” She turned to leave, but not before saying, “Oh, and Sirius is assigned to coyote boy, and Ms. Evans, you get coyote girl.”
He breathed a sigh of relief, and they each gave her a thumbs up.
As soon as she was gone, Lily smacked him on the shoulder, wonder in her eyes, and said, “I touched a werewolf!”
“Shh!” Sirius put a hand against her mouth. “You also treated him for internal bleeding, but that doesn’t mean you can tell people about it!” Her bright eyes somehow got even wider and she nodded, so, cautiously, he took his hand off her mouth.
At first, she was silent, lips pursed, then, in a harsh whisper, said, “My hands were in a werewolf!”
If it were anyone else, he would’ve been concerned that she wasn’t more worried about coming into contact with a bloody beast, but since it was her, all he did was gape. “Please, make it sound more sexual. I dare you.”
“Is that what you said six months ago?”
Sirius gasped. “Lily!”
Her eyes twinkled, and she danced away. “Go do your rounds. I’m sure wolf boy will be thrilled to see you.”
-
After that, Sirius did his rounds about as fast as was ethical, and before he knew it, he was back in Remus’ room. His condition hadn’t changed much other than the claw marks healing a bit faster than was natural. All the bites must have been diluting his speed healing, Sirius supposed. He did end up looking at Remus’ thigh and was pleased to see that the bite he stitched up six months ago had healed nicely.
A voice startled him out of his thoughts. “He saved my life.”
Sirius nearly dropped the empty syringe he was holding in surprise and still managed to trip turning around. A girl, the one brought in with Remus, was sitting in a chair near the door, dark, curly hair half hiding her face in its messiness. Someone had cleaned the dirt off her, at least, and Sirius didn’t need to be straight to know she was beautiful. The thought entered his head that this girl and Remus could be together, and, horribly, he felt a pang of jealousy.
“Shouldn’t you be in your room?” he asked, mostly because he was supposed to, and definitely not because he wanted to be alone with Remus.
She waved him off. “I heal fast.”
“I bet you do.” He gave her a knowing smile.
Unfortunately, it was misinterpreted, because the next words out of her mouth were: “Are you flirting with me?”
Ah, shit. “No! Of course not. I just…” he paused. “I know.”
She cocked her head. “Know what?”
He tried again. “I know.”
Her eyes widened in surprise, but before she could say anything, Lily flew in with a gust of red hair. “There you are!” She took a deep breath. “You’re not supposed to leave your room.”
The girl barely spared her a glance. “What do you mean you know?”
It was Sirius’ turn to be confused; he thought she’d understood. Well, it was time to drop the euphemisms. “I know you’re both werewolves.”
The girl remained stock still, the picture of calm. Sirius would have been fooled if he hadn’t seen it in himself so many times before. “Does the hospital know that their doctors are insane?”
Sirius felt Lily glance at him. “That is the guy, Sirius, right? You didn’t get it wrong?”
He nodded, staring hard at the dark-haired woman. “His name is Remus. He’s a 26 year old werewolf. He was bitten-”
Abruptly, the woman stood. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She looked around uneasily, dim amber eyes cold.
Sirius kept going. “He was bitten by Fenrir Greyback when he was four years old. Six months ago, Greyback forced him out because he refused to turn someone.” He tried to make his tone a bit gentler. “Was that you?”
She bristled, and the light in her eyes dimmed slightly. She nodded. “I guess that makes you the doctor Remus fucked.”
He talks about me to his friends, Sirius thought gleefully. Then, even more gleefully, he thought that must mean this girl and Remus weren’t together.
Lily snorted. “I like you!”
Sirius glared at her. “You would.” The woman’s lips quirked up at the sides, and Sirius wondered how she was adjusting to life as a werewolf. From Remus’ stories, it sounded lonely and harsh. “What’s your name?” he asked.
She paused, eyes darting between them.
Lily cut in. “Don’t worry, we can keep a secret.”
“I’d hope so,” she muttered, eliciting a laugh from Sirius. She glanced at him. “I’m Dorcas.”
Sirius held out a hand. “Sirius.”
Lily kept her latex covered hands to herself. “Lily.”
It seemed Remus didn’t want to be left out of the introductions because the next thing Sirius heard was a gasp, a cough, and then a deep, raspy voice saying, “Where the hell am I?”
-
Remus had had an absolute shit six months.
After leaving Sirius’ house that day, he went straight back to the Den where Greyback and his favorite goon Seymour were waiting for him.
“You’re late,” the old werewolf spit out. His nose twitched. “Why do you smell like human?”
Remus attempted to keep his face neutral, though he doubted there was anything he could do to keep Greyback from sniffing out the truth. “You dumped me in someone’s backyard.”
Seymour’s face twitched, and Fenrir smirked. “We didn’t dump you on the guy’s dick.”
Remus leveled an unimpressed look at him. “Just spreading the love.”
He started walking forward, but just as he was about to pass the two men, Greyback grabbed his wrist, forcing Remus to look directly into his faded yellow eyes. “You didn’t tell him anything, did you, cub?” His face wrinkled in a smile that looked more like a snarl, grey teeth flashing.
“Of course not,” Remus answered, voice smooth and unassuming. Greyback may have been able to sniff out a con man from a mile away, but Remus had almost two decades of practice lying to him.
Of course, Greyback wasn’t Greyback without obsessive paranoia. He stared at Remus for a minute, silently assessing, but eventually dropped his hand. “Alright, in you get. I’ve got a job for you today.”
Abruptly, Remus turned around. That couldn’t mean anything good; Greyback only ever sent him on special jobs for food and clothes and the like, but he had just gone on a supply run before the full moon. The only thing that would have changed between the past morning and this one was-
No. His blood went cold. “You didn’t.” Greyback couldn’t have, not after Remus put up such a fuss, fighting and howling, she must have had time to get away-
But Greyback grinned, a gummy, sharp-toothed smile. “Oh, I didn’t do it. Marlene did.”
Fury blanketed his vision, and he ran inside, barely hearing Greyback laughing behind him. He hadn’t even closed the door when he heard the sound of a woman sobbing and, following the noises, was at the entrance to Marlene’s bedroom in seconds.
He dropped to his knees in front of the blond girl, wincing a little as the movement pulled at his wound. “Marls, fuck, I’m so sorry.” He put a hand out to touch her shoulder, and she sobbed harder. “It should have been me, I’m so sorry Marlene.”
She gulped down a breath, or something resembling one at least, and choked out, “Not-not your fault.”
They would agree to disagree on that.
“She’s been like this all morning,” Bethany, Marlene’s roommate, said from her bed on the other side of the room.
Remus sighed at her words, but kept his eyes trained on Marlene’s. “You know it’s not your fault, either, right?”
She gave him a disbelieving look. “How?” she cried. “I’m the one who bit her!”
Bethany spoke up again. “That’s what she said when I told her that exact thing two hours ago.”
Remus finally looked up at the other girl who was drawing in her sketchpad, the one Remus had managed to get her for her birthday a couple years ago with his own meager savings. “Has she eaten?”
Bethany shook her head, eyes not moving from her paper. “Only some water. She hasn’t slept, either.”
That wasn’t exactly a surprise, though he bristled at the thought of Marlene, so strong and confident, forced into this position. Turning someone was traumatic no matter if one wanted to or not; more so for someone like Marlene who had barely been a wolf for a year yet and came to the Den with a rigid moral compass - a weakness that Greyback had immediately latched onto. He chose his next words carefully even though he knew they wouldn’t help. “He would have killed you if you hadn’t done it, Marls.”
She pulled her limbs tighter into herself, curling into a ball. “I’d rather be dead than whatever this is. I’d rather be dead than be a wolf.” She spat the last word so vehemently that Remus leaned back.
“Same,” Bethany muttered.
“Hey, Beth, why don’t you go find Ethan?”
She huffed but took the hint and walked away, muttering, “Good luck,” as she went.
He ignored her and tried a new tactic. “Where is the new girl, Marlene?”
She sniffled. “What?”
“The new girl. Have you seen her yet?”
She shook her head. “Not since last night.”
He nodded. “What’s her name?”
“D-Dorcas.” She stumbled on the odd name, exacerbated by her muffled cries.
“Do you know where Dorcas is?”
Marlene cocked her head, clearly confused. “She’s still in the basement.”
What? “No one’s brought her up yet?” That couldn’t be right; when someone new joined the Den, they spent the night in the basement and were brought upstairs the next morning for healing and introductions. Dorcas shouldn’t have been there for more than two hours, let alone two days.
“Greyback ordered us to wait for you,” Marlene muttered.
That sentence would have made Remus see red if he wasn’t already so used to Greyback’s BS. He stood and held out a hand to Marlene who looked up at him, face red. “What are you doing?”
“I’m going to get Dorcas,” he answered, “and you’re coming with me.”
Marlene was already shaking her head before he had even finished the sentence. “Are you insane? She probably wants to kill me.”
Something told Remus that wasn’t the only reason she didn’t want to go see Dorcas.
He wouldn’t let that stop him; she’d never leave her room without closure. “Well, too bad, because I’m in charge, and I choose you.”
Knowing she had lost, she glared at him but took his hand, grumbling the whole way up. He just smirked.
On their way to the basement, Remus made them stop in the kitchen both because he hadn’t eaten anything since Sirius’ soup the night before as well as on the knowledge that neither Marlene nor Dorcas had eaten since the full moon.
When Remus finally got to pushing the basement door open, wrapped sandwiches and water bottles in hand, Marlene stopped moving, and Remus looked back to see that her face was pale grey, practically blending in with her dirty white t-shirt.
“I can’t do this,” she croaked out, and Remus chastised himself for expecting Marlene to follow him somewhere she didn’t want to go. If the last year had taught him anything, it was that she was too stubborn for that.
He’d have to appeal to her through different means. “Marls, listen to me. There is a girl sitting alone downstairs who is scared, hungry, and probably hurt. She needs our help.” He gripped her shoulder. “She needs your help.”
Marlene shook her head, but her eyes had hardened a bit, and Remus knew he already hit his mark. “Why can’t you do it alone? Or have somebody else help you?”
Of course she didn’t understand. Marlene had come to them merely one year ago; not nearly enough time to fully understand Greyback and his manipulations.
Remus still remembered Marlene’s grand entrance into their lives: she had literally been dragged kicking and screaming to the Den by Greyback where he had forced Remus to turn her, yet another measure in his control. At the time, as they learned later, Marlene had been living on the street after being kicked out for being gay. It wasn’t anything new for them; Greyback only wanted people no one would miss, and homeless queer kids were in abundance around London. Benjy had been one as had Bethany and Ethan; it almost made Remus thankful he would never have to come out to his parents, though the thought made him guilty.
It suddenly struck him that if Sirius hadn’t had this James fellow, he could very well have ended up at the Den around the same time as Benjy.
“You’re our newest,” Remus said gently. “The rest of us barely remember our initiations.” Indeed, not even 12 year old Nate remembered his first night at the Den from five years ago, and certainly not Mary who had been a werewolf longer than Greyback had been alive. “You’re the only one who can really answer her questions.”
There was a loud whine and some very aggressive eye rolling, but soon Marlene was reaching around Remus to push the door open and go downstairs.
She stopped abruptly, causing Remus to run into her back. “What the fuck?”
When Remus looked up, he couldn’t help but think the same thing.
The girl from the other night was there, but she definitely didn’t look scared or hurt. She had somehow broken free from her handcuffs, the cracked rings hanging from one wrist, and was pacing around the dark cement room while feeling the walls for a door. Remus could have told her it was futile; Greyback had the door taken out decades ago.
Dorcas’ head shot up when she heard them coming, and she brought her hands up in a defensive stance. (Another sob story, Remus thought bitterly. As if we don’t have enough of those here.)
“Who are you?” she said, voice full of steel.
Marlene had frozen in place, eyes glued to the dark haired girl. Deciding to let her work through whatever was going on in her head, Remus pushed around her.
“I’m Remus. This is Marlene. We live here,” he said.
The girl didn't put her fists down. "Where's 'here'?"
Good question. "A house in the middle of the woods. We call it the Den," Remus answered. When she still didn't put her hands down, he continued, "Do you remember how you got here?"
Dorcas thought for a moment, then shook her head. "The last thing I remember is the wolf, then waking up here."
Remus nodded. "That's perfectly normal." He opened his mouth to say something about Greyback, but Dorcas interrupted him.
"It was a werewolf, wasn't it? The thing that bit me?"
Remus and Marlene exchanged a glance. "Yes."
Dorcas nodded solemnly. "So that's it, then? I'm one of you?"
Marlene let a sound that could have been a laugh. "You don't have to sound so-"
"Marls," Remus warned, placing a hand on her back. "I'm very sorry, Dorcas."
But Dorcas didn't look very sorry. "Don't be. It's not like I'm leaving anything behind." She looked resigned, but almost hopeful? No, hopeful wasn't the right word. She looked more...optimistically anticipatory.
Remus didn't even want to know the circumstances that had led her to this type of reaction at the news that she was and would forever be a monster.
"Who did it, then?" Dorcas asked. "Was it one of you two?"
Marlene cleared her throat. "It was me."
When newbies were introduced to the person who turned them, there was often screaming and sloppy punches, and then weeks-long grudges as had been the case between Remus and Marlene, but Dorcas just fiddled with the handcuffs and said, "Your wolf is beautiful."
To Remus' surprise, Marlene blushed. "I'm sure yours will be, too. I can't wait to see it."
It seemed Remus' wasn't the only romance brought on by the latest full moon.
Dorcas turned to him. "Is that food?"
"Oh, yeah." He handed her the sandwiches and water, then said, "I'll let Marlene give you the tour when you're ready."
Dorcas had already torn into the food and wasn't listening, but Marlene turned to him and mouthed thank you. He smiled at her, then grimaced at the odd pang of longing. Times like these always made him miss Benjy, and he would wonder if he would ever find someone to love like that again. Unbidden, his thoughts turned to Sirius, but he squashed that before it could fester. There was no point thinking about someone he could never see again.
He turned around to go back upstairs, and Marlene's voice drifted up to him.
"Okay. Roll call. First, we've got Mary who is old and awesome as fuck. She's freaking 68, like damn. Then, skipping the assholes, there's John. He's cool. Then there's Remus, who you just met, obviously. You'll love him, and me, who I'm sure you'll love as well..."
Remus smiled to himself. Dorcas would fit in just fine.
-
And she did. For a while, at least.
Everyone gave her space to settle in during her first month, but after that, they all became fast friends, taking care not to let Greyback, Seymour, or Ness within ten feet of her. She, Bethany, and Ethan bonded over art, and Remus was thrilled to meet someone else who liked books. Of course, anyone who could play cards was a friend of Mary's. At 12 years old, Nate still thought Remus was awesome and took to Dorcas the second Remus told him she was a new friend, and John was just happy to have someone willing to help with the cooking.
And it didn't take a genius to see what was brewing between her and Marlene.
Then, three months into her stay at the Den, Greyback called a meeting, and the tranquil mood snapped. Nothing good ever came from Greyback's meetings.
Leaning on the wall in his usual spot behind Mary's armchair, Remus knew this time would be no different.
He crossed his arms, glaring at the back of Greyback’s head as he conversed with Ness.
Mary's voice broke him from his thoughts. "Stop frowning, Remus. You'll get lines."
The man in question looked down to see Mary MacDonald smiling up at him, a twinkle in her dark eyes. "I thought that was smiling."
She huffed. "Well, that's no fun." Then, to emphasize her point, she gave a big smile, showing off her own laugh lines.
It was impossible not to smile at that, but the next words spoken certainly killed the mood. Greyback looked up from Ness and turned to the rest of the room. "I know we've all got things to do, so I'll make this quick." Remus prepared himself for the worst. "We're going to have to cut the budget."
Despite the ominous tone, there was an audible sigh of relief. Greyback tended to 'cut the budget' any time he felt the pack was getting too comfortable, especially when there was a new wolf around he had yet to try his intimidation tactics on. What Greyback seemed to forget was that the only person he actually gave money to was Remus for supplies, and it's not like Remus went along with his lies. Everybody in the room knew Greyback was lying.
Everyone except Dorcas. "That's bullshit." Oh, no.
Remus quickly glanced over to the hallway where their newest member was standing next to Marlene whose eyes had gone comically wide in panic.
Remus shared the sentiment.
"What's that girl?" Greyback sneered, lip curling up in a snarl.
"My name is not girl," Dorcas replied hotly, though still far too calm for the hole she was rapidly digging for herself.
Remus stepped forward, ready to step in should things get violent, and he wasn't exactly pleased to see Marlene do the same, but Mary beat them to it. "Announcement's over, innit? Let's just all go back to whatever we were doing."
Dorcas continued to stare at Greyback, but the older man broke contact to look down at Mary. Ever since Remus had come to Den, Mary was the only person who could influence Greyback at all, at least until Remus figured out how to push his buttons. Perks of being a werewolf longer than Greyback had been alive, he supposed.
Fenrir shuffled a bit but didn't argue. "She's right. Everybody, back to your rooms."
They didn't need to be told twice; within seconds, the whole pack had dispersed throughout the house, getting as far away from Greyback as they could, but Remus vowed to keep an eye on Dorcas.
-
Turned out, he was right to.
The next couple months only got worse as Dorcas pushed the boundaries of her new home, much to everyone's fear. It got to the point that she was being thrown into the basement weekly for various punishments, and Marlene and Remus had upped their basement time as well as they did their best to keep Greyback from killing the black haired girl. Not even Mary could help at that point.
Everything finally exploded on the sixth full moon after Dorcas was turned, and, honestly, Remus was surprised it didn't happen sooner.
It started out perfectly normal, or as normal as a night in which 11 random people turned into huge, bloodthirsty canines.
But there were signs.
Like when Remus found Dorcas cornered on her way back from the kitchen by Ness and Seymour.
Or when Greyback started pulling them each individually into his office for talks about their 'futures with the pack'.
Especially when Greyback paired Dorcas with himself for that night's moon, leaving Remus by himself for the first time since Benjy died.
They stood in a circle behind the house glancing nervously at each other, all pale faced and fidgety as they waited for the moon to take them. Greyback's decision hadn't affected most of the normal pairings: John and Nate, Ethan and Bethany, Seymour and Ness, Mary and Marlene; but there was the glaring oddity. Remus and Dorcas had been running together since she arrived, and before that, Remus and Greyback. No one knew quite what to do with this now.
Discreetly, Marlene caught Remus' eye, and he nodded. He'd tail Greyback and Dorcas the best he could, but there was a definite possibility she wouldn't make it to morning.
Abruptly, Greyback clapped his hands, and they all jumped. "Only a few minutes now."
A glance into the sky told Remus he was right. The young man closed his eyes, breathing in the forest and the cool night air. This moment was always the worst, the brief minutes before the turn. There was the apprehension, the unbearably tensed muscles, the awful tug in his bones. He rolled his neck and winced when it didn't sit back quite the way it did before, and he knew. It was time.
Oh, how amazing it was to shirk his human form, leaving his problems behind. Before fur even started sprouting, he had forgotten about Benjy, Sirius, Dorcas, Greyback, everything. There simply wasn't a place for it in his head anymore, but he knew they would all come back soon.
Suddenly, his legs gave out, and he collapsed, falling forward onto his now furry hands, clawed at the ends, thumbs rapidly shrinking back. His elbows popped in, knees popping backward. His nose stretched out. His ears lengthened. A weight fell on his backside. Everything was suddenly vibrant and (alive,) alive in a way nothing was in his human form, and when he finally opened his eyes, he was looking through the amber eyes of a wolf.
After 22 years of this, coming into his new senses was almost instantaneous, and he absolutely loved watching the newer wolves attempt to regain their footing each month. To his left was Marlene, her gorgeous, sleek brown wolf tripping over its too large paws and squinting as if that would overcome the differences in her senses. On Marlene's other side, Mary's light grey wolf was already sitting pristinely as she waited with Remus. Nate, at the youngest and thereby darkest, was the most gangly and often took hours to get used to his wolf form which was why he was paired with John, middle aged and surprisingly agile. Bethany and Ethan had been turned at the same time six years ago and had much the same skillset but were wildly different colors, him a messy, long grey and her a neat black. As they always did, Ness and Seymour reminded Remus of the hyenas from The Lion King, both dirty, clumsy, and mean. Dorcas had acclimated shockingly fast, her fluffy, light brown wolf standing at the ready within minutes of Remus each month. To everyone's surprise and the man's own humility, Greyback, classic grey, always took the longest to change, and he wasn't even the largest among them. He often claimed that it simply took longer because he was the leader, but Remus knew it was B.S. Ness and Seymour took nearly as long as Fenrir, and none of those three were worth anything.
Which only left Remus. As there were no mirrors in the forest, he had never actually seen his own form, but he'd been told his fur was a deep dark brown with a lighter stomach and paws, one of the fluffiest among them.
Of course, with the turn came the more unpleasant changes, such as the need for meat. By the time Remus looked around again, John was already leading Nate away into the woods toward where Remus could sense a cache of prey animals, no doubt a strategy to distract the 12 year old from the ensuing fight.
Another of the less fun aspects (or more fun, depending on how one looked at it) were the angry, bloodthirsty instincts. Suddenly, Remus was spoiling for a fight.
Two deep growls told him that Remus wasn't the only one. Like Nate and John, Ness and Seymour had run off into the woods, presumably to fight something. Or each other.
Next, Greyback seemed to notice Mary and Marlene lurking about and growled loud enough to startle some birds, and with one last mournful look from Marlene, she and Mary took off into the night.
Before Fenrir could threaten Remus off, he bared his teeth and snarled toward the older canine, pleased to see he was still a smidge bigger than Greyback.
Apparently, Fenrir was determined to get Dorcas alone tonight because he turned away with barely a glance, Dorcas following closely behind despite having never been shy about giving into his baser instincts.
Remus waited a few.minutes, then followed them, making sure to keep close to the ground. It was nearly impossible not to veer off course to catch a squirrel or a mouse, or even to pick a fight with another animal, but, again, 22 years had given him plenty of practice. His sharp snout leading the way, he followed Dorcas and Greyback all the way through their half of the woods to the river where the scent stopped.
Not to worry. While his sense of smell only slammed a mile, his ears could catch sounds up to ten miles away. He simply pricked his ears and listened. Soon, every noise of the forest was apparent to him, from the quietest crickets to the farthest bullfrog, and - there. Dorcas and Greyback, on the other side of the river. Wasting no time, he jumped in. It was hard to feel the cold around all the fur, but he managed.
Before he knew it, he was on the other side of the bank and picking up Dorcas and Greyback's scents. Once again, he followed them for several miles.
Then, he heard the sound they'd all been dreading: the sounds of a fight.
Remus took off like a shot, sprinting toward the growling and snapping sounds. He came upon a glen and stopped in horror.
Greyback had Dorcas backed up against a tree, both growling and snarling at each other. They were crouched low, ready to spring, and then Dorcas caught sight of Remus. She shook her head minutely, but Remus shook his right back. With any luck,he would sneak up behind Greyback and take him down, giving Dorcas enough time to run away.
It would have worked; it should have worked, if only Remus hadn't stepped on a stick at the very last second.
Fenrir's head whipped around, fast enough to give a normal human whiplash.
Remus sprang forward, retaining the element of surprise, and landed half on top of Greyback with his claws slicing through the man's skin.
Fenrir howled and pushed himself up, sending Remus toppling toward the ground. He let out a little oomph.
Dorcas had started circling around them, looking for an opening, but Remus did his best to keep her out. He lunged again, this time with his jaws open toward Greyback's throat. The older wolf reared up and swiped at Remus' back, eliciting a howl of pain. The slices were deep, he could tell, and already leaking sizable amounts of blood and stinging immensely.
A deep breath helped to steady him, but it did nothing for the burn in his back.
He was distracted when Greyback jumped at him, allowing him to get his jaws around Remus' left paw and arm. He howled in pain again, bucking and thrashing to try and dislodge him.
It didn't work. The more he moved, the worse it felt. It was almost like someone had taken a match and lit his whole arm on fire.
Suddenly, the pressure was gone and with it, and with it, pieces of Remus's arm. It seemed Dorcas had rammed Greyback from the side.
Finally, Greyback's instincts overtook him, and he ignored Dorcas in favor of zeroing in on Remus.
The younger man barely managed to push himself up on shaky legs, left foreleg dangling uselessly. He snapped at Fenrir, not that it did much good.
Immediately, Greyback was on him again. This time, he forced himself close into Remus' side and pushed, pushed hard enough to throw Remus into a nearby tree. The dark brown wolf lay there stunned, head swimming. He whimpered.
Not giving him any time at all, Greyback sauntered up to him and barked. He clearly wanted Remus to get up, but he couldn't even get his legs underneath himself. He was stuck.
Realizing this, Greyback got a wicked gleam in his eyes and crouched down close, making sure to put pressure on Remus' injured leg.
Just when it looked like he was about to put his jaws around Remus' throat, he was gone, disappeared into a blur of grey and brown. Someone else had slammed into him.
Remus tried to figure out who it was, but concentrating made his head hurt ten times worse. He whined loudly.
Another wolf suddenly appeared in his line of sight, one he was pretty sure was Dorcas. The other wolf nudged his belly until he had turned over with most of his legs underneath him, and with her help, he pushed up onto his back legs. The front we're slower to rise as the left was completely useless. He didn't stop whining the whole time, truly pitiful noises coming out of his snout. Once he had his right forelimb most of the way up, he used the tree to get up the rest of the way and stood there shakily.
While they waited for him to get his bearings, another grey wolf joined the fight, albeit slower than the brown one. Mary and Marlene.
He whined louder to get Dorcas' attention, but Marlene looked at him briefly over Greyback's shoulder and nodded. Go.
He nodded back, and he and Dorcas started clomping their way through the forest, the sounds of the vicious wolf fight fading away behind them. He couldn't help but feel bad for leaving Marlene and Mary to Greyback, but neither he nor Dorcas would survive to morning without help.
Besides, the sun was beginning to rise, and werewolves always passed out during the change back to human.
Although it seemed Remus was going to check out a little earlier than normal.
Again, his thoughts drifted to the night six months ago with the man who had treated him with more gentleness than anyone ever had in his whole life. As much as he tried to ignore the thought, he couldn’t will away the soft grey eyes or the memory of healing touches. It wouldn’t be terrible to die thinking of this, he thought.
Just as he heard the cries from some humans (campers, probably), Remus felt his heavy, pain-filled eyes begin to droop from blood loss, and he careened into Dorcas, knocking them both over.
He was out before they hit the ground.
Notes:
yes, i love animals. yes, i researched wolves specifically for this chapter. yes, i sometimes wish i were a dog. no, i don't think i have a problem.
also, what lily said about wolves being extinct in england is true, and the stuff about wolf senses is, too.
Chapter Text
The basement at the Den had never been pleasant. Water marks on the cement walls, blood and scratch marks blanketing the cold floor, stray fur stuck to every available surface, one lone light swinging from the ceiling - not a place one would want to spend any time.
Up until now, Marlene had been lucky, having only spent a couple days altogether in the basement.
Now, though, Greyback seemed determined to make up for lost time.
She wasn't actually sure how long she'd been here, just that it had been long enough for the ceiling leak in the middle of the floor to spread so that she could touch it with her foot, and long enough for the empty pit in her stomach to grow into a deep ache. On the other side of the room, Mary had a knee pulled up to her chest with her head resting on a shoulder. From here, Marlene could only see her long gray hair shot through with dark brown.
Watching the murky water spread across the floor, Marlene kept one thought in mind: somehow, this basement would bring her closer to Dorcas.
-
27 days earlier
Slowly, Marlene blinked awake, shuffling her sore limbs on the weirdly damp surface beneath her. Whatever it was squished and crinkled, almost like she was laying on a wax paper-lined cake. Then she remembered.
She shot upright, jumping to her feet, already taking advantage of her still heightened sense of smell. Immediately, she was met with the scent of copper. She looked down.
The forest floor was streaked with blood, and Marlene's hands were absolutely covered in it, as was her tongue. She had to spit it out onto the floor. Miraculously, none of it was hers, as far as she could tell. If she were still in her wolf form, she could discern which people exactly it was from. As it was, she just guessed it was mostly Remus' with some of Dorcas' and Greyback's mixed in. She needed to find Dorcas and Remus.
Lucky for her, there was a bright red blood trail leading forward through the forest. She followed it until she heard voices and a low buzz. It took her a minute to identify the second noise since she hadn't heard it in over a year and a half. It was an engine, a big one, and tires working hard on the dirt floor of the forest. She sprinted for it.
There was too much in her already - adrenaline, fear, worry - to feel the cold wind on her bare skin or the mud under feet. Soon - too soon, her human brain said - she found an empty clearing and barely caught the backs of two ambulances tearing away. A quick glance down told her this was where the blood trail ended.
Just as she was about to run after the vehicles, something caught the back of her neck and pulled her roughly backwards. "Hey!"
"Shh," the person said, in a voice Marlene recognized as Mary.
"But I have to-"
"Here," she interrupted, thrusting a bundle into Marlene's arms. "Come on."
"What? Where are we going?" Marlene asked.
Rather than answer, Mary continued hurrying her through the trees, and, she noticed, away from the Den. Despite having lived with her for a year, Marlene was still surprised how fast and strong the older woman was.
Upon further examination, the bundle was clothes, a black sweatshirt, grey cargo pants, and old boots. She took another look at Mary and realized the older woman was dressed despite the moon being barely hidden by the trees. "Where did you get clothes?"
Finally, they paused for Marlene to get dressed. "I have stashes hidden in every forest in England."
"Oh." Marlene pulled on the clothes, thinking that it made sense for Mary to have emergency caches, given how long she'd been a werewolf.
"Now, we can't very well go back to the Den, Greyback wants to kill us. We're going to one of my hideouts."
"Hideouts?" Marlene's brain was seriously having trouble keeping up, her worry for her friends not helping matters.
Mary nodded. "Yes, in fact, here we are."
-
Since waking up to the mind-addling whiteness of the hospital, Remus had, a), been completely blindsided by his love affair from six months ago, b), become rapidly familiar with the intricacies of checking oneself out of the hospital when the entire hospital staff besides two doctors insisted one stay, c), been carted out of said hospital in a wheelchair, d), been picked up by said love affair's adopted brother in his minivan along with Dorcas, and, e), been force-fed some spicy rice concoction that he'd already forgotten the name of by said love affair's brother, not that he was complaining about the food. It was honestly probably the best thing he'd ever had in his life.
Still. It was a lot for a werewolf who had been all but removed from society since before primary school. At least most of his wounds were healing if not healed.
Looking across the table, Dorcas seemed to be far more comfortable in their new environment, though she didn't have a large, clunky cast wrapped around one of her hands. She was idly chewing her food and glancing around, eyeing the red walls of the house's kitchen. There were framed photos, most of which featured the three people in the picture Remus saw on Sirius' fridge with a fair few of Sirius himself as well as some others. Remus' eyes caught on one in particular on the wall behind Dorcas. It was of Sirius and the man who picked them up from the hospital, James. They looked much younger, probably mid to late teens. James still had some baby fat, and Sirius' hair was much shorter. Behind them stretched a green field and a house even bigger than the Den. They looked happy.
Even knowing what Sirius was probably going through at the time the photo would have been taken, seeing the tentative smile, smaller and more mischievous than James', Remus felt a pang of jealousy. At that age, he would've given anything to be in that picture. Or near that picture. Or just in the vicinity of that property.
"We were 17 in that picture." On the other side of the table, James swallowed a bite of food nonchalantly. "It's in my parents' backyard."
Remus just looked at him, unsure what to do with that information, and ignored the desperate desire to learn more about the kind man from six months ago.
Instead of elaborating, James said, "Reg should be home soon."
Remus wondered if he should have Sirius check him for whiplash.
Across the table, Dorcas glanced at him, but he didn't know what to say to her. All he knew about Regulus was that he looked a lot like Sirius, and that the two of them were on good terms now.
"Let me show to your rooms," James said, again with no prompting. This time, Remus was glad for it. Maybe he could be 'asleep' when this Regulus person got home. He definitely didn't feel like meeting anyone else today, although he had to admit he never really did. It could be unrelated.
One look at Dorcas told him it wasn't. She did not seem thrilled at the prospect of another meeting, especially if this person was anything like James.
Speaking of, the man was already halfway up the stairs. They hurried after him.
"These are our two guest rooms. You guys can decide who gets which. Bathroom's right there. If you need anything, just ask."
While Remus was busy processing the multiple guest rooms this man owned, Dorcas booked it through the door of the closest one, leaving Remus to trudge into the other. It was nice, if boring; soft yellow walls surrounded a queen bed with red covers, lit by a rectangular window on the right side of the room.
Remus didn't bother with the lights or exploring; he just flopped on the bed and passed out.
-
It felt like only minutes later when he was awoken by the sound of the front door opening and closing, quickly followed by murmuring. Remus was proud to say that faking sleep was still one of his special skills.
And then Dorcas walked in. "Are we staying or leaving?"
"Leaving," he said immediately.
Dorcas nodded, not questioning him for a second. They both knew it was the right move: unfinished business, Greyback would be looking for them, the Pack needed them. Really, all logic pointed toward leaving.
Why, then, did his mind say stay?
-
When Sirius finally stepped into James's house after his shift, he was nearly dead on his feet, his eagerness to see Remus again the only thing keeping him awake.
Remus, it seemed, was not nearly as eager to see Sirius.
"I'm getting flashbacks," he muttered, watching Remus and Dorcas silently start down the stairs from his place by the door. "Surely, you're not thinking of leaving?"
They both startled, but quickly regained their composure. "Why shouldn't we?" Dorcas said. Next to her, Remus had gone stock still, tense and wide eyed.
"For one, you're both still injured." Though, he could already see they were healing fast, and, honestly, Dorcas was probably fine. "For two, you have nowhere to go." This one, at least, he hoped was true.
"We're going back to the Den," Dorcas said.
"Why the fuck would you do that?" Sirius couldn't decide if it was a compliment or not that she already didn't feel the need to lie to him. Or maybe he was completely irrelevant to her honesty, and she was just that confident.
Remus seemed to recover from whatever came over him, and he said, "We have to get back to protect the pack from Greyback."
Of course they did. Why wouldn't they?
Dorcas gave Remus a surprised look. Ooh. Sirius wasn't supposed to know that. "Or," he started, ignoring the looks he got from both of them, "you can stay here for a while and heal, maybe come up with an actual plan instead of rushing back half cocked and injured." When they continued to look skeptical, he pressed on, looking specifically at Remus. "This is the second time you've ended up in my care because of Greyback. Think you can survive a third round?"
After a glance between themselves, Dorcas spoke next. "What do you propose we do instead?"
Sirius was surprised to hear genuine curiosity in her voice rather than derision. "Stay here, for one, at least until you have a plan, maybe even until the next moon."
"That's not-" Remus tried to say, but Sirius wasn't done, not this time.
"Right now, Greyback is expecting you to come running back because-" this he said to Remus "-that is what you always do. He's probably setting up some horrible surprise for you at the Den as we speak. If you wait, you'll be on even footing. You might even get him to believe you're not coming back and get the element of surprise. But the bottom line is, going back now is the dumbest thing you can do."
He felt a fair bit of satisfaction at the resigned look Remus' face took on as his words sunk in. Consequently, Dorcas didn't even get to open her mouth before Remus was muttering, "He's right."
The dark haired girl gave him an incredulous look. "What? What about Marlene? And Mary? He'll kill them!"
Sirius had no idea who they were, but Remus shook his head, so that probably meant something good. "He's scared of Mary; he'd never attack her directly. Besides, she has hideouts all over England. They'll be fine for the month."
Dorcas still didn't look happy; in fact, she looked majorly pissed. "I'm not leaving Marlene alone in the woods for a month waiting on that freak to eat her alive."
"She's not-" alone, probably, was what Remus would have said had Dorcas not stalked off to whatever bedroom she came out of and slammed the door. Sirius hoped it didn't wake the other occupants of the house.
"So I guess we're staying," Remus said mildly. "Wanna catch up?"
Yeah. He really did.
-
And catch up they did. In fact, Sirius came over to the Potter-Evans-Black house so much in the next week that by the third quarter moon, Regulus was chasing him out of the house with a broom.
-
Three weeks later
"I still don't understand how you plan on getting us in there without anyone seeing us," Marlene Mckinnon said, glancing sideways at her companion.
Mary pursed her lips, leading Marlene toward the big house in the middle of the woods, silently and carefully. "I'm starting to think you have a listening problem."
"I listen just fine, thanks," Marlene said. Her steps were not nearly as silent, but they were passable for the occasion.
They reached the mansion and wordlessly began to climb, vines, windowsills, and old, cracked brick providing perfect handholds to reach Mary's bedroom window.
Because of her age, Mary got second pick of bedroom, after Greyback who wanted to be able to keep an eye on everyone else. Mary, of course, chose the room farthest from the others. Right now, that meant they had an unobstructed path to nearly every room in the house.
Now it was time for mischief. They set out into the house, breaking shit, generally making a lot of noise - plus some other, more sinister stuff - and by the time they made it to the kitchen, Greyback was already there waiting. "I thought I smelled bitch."
-
After that first week, Sirius and Remus settled into a rhythm of sorts. Sirius would come to pick him up around his own work schedule, and they'd go do something: take a walk, go to a restaurant, visit the library - they did that one a lot.
Remus was fully healed. They had a plan, or the bones of one. He shouldn't be nervous. He shouldn't be the one dreading the full moon. Everything was fine.
-
Three days. That's how long Marlene and Mary were in the basement.
They weren't let out. Mary simply turned to Marlene at some point and said, "It's time."
Marlene took a pin out of her hair and unlocked her cuffs which fell away with a splash, as did Mary's. If they timed it right - and they did - everyone would be out already, waiting for the change.
It was short work unlocking the door and running upstairs. It was even shorter work finding matches and gasoline.
Then, they turned into snarling beasts and ran.
-
The day started slowly. Sirius was off today, so there was nothing on the schedule except Remus turning into a snarling drooling beast, but that wasn't until later. They had time.
And they used it. They ate, drank, fucked, showered, napped, and then did it all again.
A half hour before sundown, they opened the door for Dorcas, and she and Remus stepped outside, but that was fine.
He didn't look out the window. Definitely didn't watch the sun finish its slow path beyond the horizon, bathing Remus and Dorcas in grotesque darkness. He definitely wasn't looking when Remus - and Dorcas - began to shake and sprout fur, drop down on four paws and howl at the moon.
And he definitely wasn't looking when three wolves - two dirty brown and one soft grey - came sprinting out of the woods, spitting and growling, to crash into the two beautiful brown wolves in Sirius' backyard.
Notes:
since the last time i've posted anything on here at all (mid-jan) i have:
- had so much family drama and emergencies. like. the amount of people i've had in the hospital is unreal
- adopted a second dog
- been knocked on my ass by allergies and colds several times (and my allergies always hit my tonsils and throat, so it's head splitting ear pain and not being able to swallow. so fun)
- gotten a degree (probably not the kind you're thinking so don't even bother trying to guess my age)
- and several more personal things I'd rather not share
i also kinda burned myself out on this fandom for a while. and lost the notes to this fic. and had to restart this chapter three different times.
but! it is finished, even if i'm not really happy with it, and the last chapter will be up in the next couple days if anyone still cares. i'm so fucjing sorry I made y'all wait over a year.
Chapter 4
Notes:
since this is an epilogue it was never going to be very long but tbh i was not expecting it be. this damn short.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Remus had never turned away from the Den. It was kinda nice. He thought it might be nicer if he wasn't immediately attacked.
And just after he'd healed from the last moon. What a shame.
It was over short grass that Greyback went for his neck, years of people falling in line for him giving him a perpetual expectation for easy targets.
But Remus wasn't one of them, and he never would be again.
When Greyback went low, Remus went high. He pounced up and onto his back, pinning him down. Greyback howled.
Another wolf - Ness - careened into him, splitting from where it was going after Dorcas, knocking him off Greyback and sending them both into a short roll. He sprang back up and swiped out with a paw. Fur and skin split under his claws. There was a yowl. Then, two different wolves crashed into him from either side, and he went down with a loud crack.
Broken ribs. Great. At least Greyback and Ness gave him a moment of respite by laying on him. If only he could fucking breathe.
He tried to push up from the ground and couldn't even gain an inch before pain spiked through his chest. He coughed.
Gathering his strength, he tried again, this time with a fair bit of wiggling. Ness slid off him, but Greyback held fast, digging his claws in for purchase. Then, something hit Greyback and dragged him away. Mary.
He couldn't help but notice that she smelled like smoke and ash. But it was good to see her again.
He stood and saw Marlene's wolf fighting Seymour alongside Dorcas. It was good to see her, too, and even better to see her and Dorcas together.
He could already feel his ribs healing, but there still wasn't enough time to really catch his breath before he was dodging a swipe to the face.
He struck out and was pleased to hit someone - Ness, he thought - in the side and then was immediately struck with someone's whole head in his already aching ribs.
But he got back up. And the fight went on. And on. And on. Until Mary started flagging, and Marlene was more blood than fur, and Dorcas stopped dancing and started stumbling, and Remus stopped breathing through the pain in his chest.
Until three shots rang out over the sounds of the fight, and three wolves, grey, dirty, and mean, dropped to the ground.
-
Sirius sat on the couch in his basement, chewing his nails and trying desperately not to look out the window. It got harder and harder with every howl and yelp, every hour the moon got farther - then closer - to the horizon. Finally, around three thirty, he gave up and stepped over to the window - and sorely regretted it. Even in the low light, he could tell that every wolf out there was covered in blood, fur glistening and soaked with it. Worse, the wolf he knew - the dark brown one - seemed to barely be standing.
Fuck it. There had been too many people in Sirius' life that tried to hurt him for him to not know when to step in, and this time, when he was close to happiness, he was not letting some furry-asshole take it from him - or from Remus, ever again.
He went back to the couch and reached under the right side cushion until his fingers hit metal, then slowly pulled the gun toward him. It was heavy with bullets - silver bullets. He thought they might be useful at some point. He was right.
Finally, he opened the basement door and raised his weapon toward the animal standing atop the man who held his heart. He pulled the trigger, then pulled it two more times, and thanked his parents - the first time ever - for making him learn how to shoot.
-
Two weeks later
"Are you sure about this?" Dorcas asked. She was fiddling with a pen, twirling it between her fingers fast enough for the lawyer to frown at her.
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," Sirius answered. He was so positive, in fact, that he'd sent Remus ahead to the new apartment to start unpacking.
See, once news spread of Greyback's passing, the rest of the wolves were fast to come see the body - and their friends - for themselves. All of these people also needed a place to stay now that the Den was gone - a stroke of genius by Mary and Marlene. Now, there was nothing tying the remaining wolves to Greyback, no body, no house, no witnesses. They could take their lives back and even live happily - so long as they had somewhere to go once a month to transform.
And Sirius was more than happy to give them one, provided he didn't have to live there. That was good news for Dorcas and Marlene, the official owners of Number 12 Grimmauld Place.
Almost official.
"Sign here," the lawyer said. They did. And they were free.
-
"Morning."
"Morning."
"Love you."
"Love you."
Sirius grinned. His head was full of cotton and his body was full of sunlight.
There was nothing under him but air. Nothing over him but Remus' arm. Everything in front of him. Everything behind him.
Notes:
i know it's so bad. pls be kind in the comments. i have had a very bad year
thanks to those who stuck it out to the end (and through the one year hiatus). i apologize for making you wait so long for this garbage (if you're wondering, yes, i did write this entire chapter at 2 am)
Kaymardsa on Chapter 1 Wed 24 May 2023 05:03AM UTC
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Kaymardsa on Chapter 1 Mon 04 Sep 2023 08:26PM UTC
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two_chariots on Chapter 1 Mon 04 Sep 2023 09:39PM UTC
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Kaymardsa on Chapter 1 Mon 04 Sep 2023 10:14PM UTC
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Kaymardsa on Chapter 2 Mon 12 Jun 2023 01:05AM UTC
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two_chariots on Chapter 2 Mon 12 Jun 2023 02:18AM UTC
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Grace_at_times on Chapter 2 Mon 10 Jul 2023 04:57AM UTC
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two_chariots on Chapter 2 Tue 11 Jul 2023 08:40PM UTC
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Kaymardsa on Chapter 3 Mon 08 Jul 2024 04:29PM UTC
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two_chariots on Chapter 3 Tue 09 Jul 2024 06:17PM UTC
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Hearth_keeper on Chapter 4 Wed 10 Jul 2024 11:32AM UTC
Last Edited Wed 10 Jul 2024 11:32AM UTC
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two_chariots on Chapter 4 Wed 10 Jul 2024 02:15PM UTC
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two_chariots on Chapter 4 Sat 03 Aug 2024 03:51PM UTC
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Kaymardsa on Chapter 4 Sat 03 Aug 2024 08:25PM UTC
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two_chariots on Chapter 4 Sat 03 Aug 2024 09:20PM UTC
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