Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The note shook in my hands as they trembled. My throat was dry. My chest hurt. My shoulders were tense, and I knew knots were already forming. I read it again and somehow hoped the words changed from the last time I read it. 

If you want him to live, you won’t look for him . 

Eleven words. Just eleven. But they terrified me. 

Why? Who? Who took him? 

I immediately unlocked my phone and thumbed through my contacts. My first instinct was to call Dean. I had to call Dean. I needed help, and he was the only person I knew who could help with something like this. However, as I clicked on his contact, my thumb just hovered over the ‘call’ button. 

Would Dean even answer? Would he leave his family to help out someone who said she wouldn’t bother him again? Did he even care about me or Cas anymore? Had he managed to forget about us to live his life? 

A guttural scream broke the agonizing silence of the cabin, and I pounded the kitchen counter with my fists, dropping my phone in the process. I felt powerless. No leads. Nothing. Besides, the note said if I wanted Cas to live, I wouldn’t look for him. Was that a threat? Would they, whoever ‘they’ were, actually kill him if I went searching for him? 

My mind was overwhelmed with questions. None of them had answers right now. But I wanted those answers. 

I picked up my phone again. The screen was cracked, but no other damage was apparent. 

“Just do it!” I yelled at myself. “Just call him!” 

So, I obeyed my direct order to myself. I called Dean. 

The phone rang. And rang. And kept ringing. 

“Answer, damn it!” I shouted. 

Nothing. I heard Dean’s voicemail read out. “ This is Dean. You know what to do. ” I cursed at him in that moment. Even though I said I’d never call him again, never reach out again, this wasn’t an everyday situation. 

“Ow!” I heard over the phone line. 

“Dean?!” 

A few seconds of silence. I must have hurt his ear. 

“Y/n?”

He sounded confused, but I suppose he had every right to be. I hadn’t tried to call him in a year and a half. 

“What’s going on?” he asked. “Why are you yelling?” 

“Dean!” I clamped my eyes shut. No. No crying. “He’s gone. I need your help. He’s gone.” 

“What? Who’s gone?” 

“Cas!” I paused to force a little composure. “Cas is gone. Someone took him. I don’t know who. All I have is a note. I need help. You’re the only one I know that can even begin to know what to do.” 

Silence. 

“Please, Dean,” I begged. “I know you have a family, and I would never ask you to leave them for anything other than a life or death situation. I just...please, Dean. Please.” 

More silence. 

“Dean.” 

“I hear you.” His voice sounded heavy, like he was torn. 

I heard him sigh, and I knew he was weighing everything. The odds. The risks. He had a lot to lose if this went south, and I knew I asked a lot of him, but damn it. Damn it, I couldn’t lose someone else! Not this time! 

“Where are you?” Dean eventually asked. 

“Bobby’s cabin in Montana.”

“Alright.” He paused a moment. “I’ll be up there as soon as I can. Meanwhile, don’t talk to anyone else, alright? I’ll call in a few favors on my way. And Y/n.” 

“Yeah?”

“We’ll do everything we can, okay?”

I choked back a sob and nodded to the emptiness around me. “Okay.” 

As I hung up from the frantic call, the surprise that Dean actually answered settled in, but I was glad he answered. Was I equipped to handle this situation? In theory, yes, but I never expected to wake up to find Castiel...just gone. My best friend. Someone I relied on for maybe too many things. 

I read the note again. And again, and again, to the point that I just stared at it instead of reading it. It wasn’t in Castiel’s writing. I knew his writing. Whoever it was didn’t want me to know where they took him. They didn’t want me to know anything. Yes, the note told me not to look for him, but I hoped it was an empty threat and was just used as a means to scare me. It worked, for the most part, but they honestly couldn’t expect me not to go searching for him. 

The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a setup. That they wanted me to go looking for Cas. Like he was some sort of lure. I didn’t know who might do something like that, but I was about to find out. 

When I heard the Impala, it felt like music to my ears. The door creaked open and slammed shut. 

I ran outside, the note still clutched in my hand, and Dean walked up the path to the cabin. He smiled at me as I charged him, and he opened his arms in time for me to slam into his chest. When he wrapped me in a hug, I felt a sense of relief. Help had arrived. 

“Hey there, kiddo,” he mumbled. 

“Thank you so much for coming,” I said as I pulled away. “Come on in.” 

As I shut the door to the cabin, Dean looked around and grinned. “Can’t believe I’m back here. It’s cleaner than I thought it would be.”

“I think Cas cleaned it one night while I was sleeping.” 

Dean nodded, and he removed his leather jacket. “It’s good to see you, Y/n. I just wish it were under better circumstances.”

“Me too.” 

“What do we know?”

I showed him the note and told him everything leading up to the day I woke up to find Castiel gone. 

“That’s it? No weird omens, phone calls, cars following you. Nothing?”

I shook my head and sat down on the sofa, a sigh rushing past my lips. “No. Nothing.” 

“Hmm. Well, it’s a good thing I left on good terms with Crowley.”

“Do you really think he’ll be able to help?”

“Well, if he can’t, then that means we’re dealing with the other side of things.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.” 

Dean took out his phone and rested a hand on my shoulder as he called Crowley. It wasn’t long till someone knocked on the front door of the cabin, and the king of hell stood outside, a pleased grin on his face. I scraped part of the devil’s trap off the wooden floor so he could enter. 

“Thank you,” Crowley said as he walked into the cabin. “That’s very kind of you.” 

This was something I never thought I’d see again, or be part of for that matter. Dean and Crowley in the same room, going over the possible options to solve a puzzle. It felt wrong that Sam wasn’t part of it. Or Cas. 

“So,” Crowley began, clapping his hands together. “Is this everybody?”

Dean rolled his eyes. 

“Right. Sorry.” Crowley removed his coat. “Let’s get down to business. You’re looking for your boyfriend, am I right?”

I felt my face turn red and instant irritation flared. “He is not my boyfriend.” 

“Oh. Could have fooled me. Forgive me. Well, as far as I know, he is not being held in my domain. That just leaves one option.”

“Damn it,” I mumbled. “I knew it!” 

Dean crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. “So, then what? You got any angels that owe you anything?”

“Not quite.” Crowley pulled out a piece of paper from an inside pocket of his suit jacket. “But I do have leverage up there.” 

I looked at the paper in his hands. It was a scroll with a black ribbon tied around it to keep it closed. “What is that?” I asked. 

“This,” Crowley lifted the paper, “is our ticket to getting Castiel back in one piece.”

“It sounds like you know more than you’re letting on,” Dean said. “What’s going on up there?”

“Carnage.” Crowley shrugged. “But when is there not carnage up there? Angels are getting frustrated. They’re trying to root out all the rebels, and who is the biggest rebel besides Lucifer?”

“Cas,” Dean mumbled. 

Crowley placed the paper back in his suit jacket. “Bingo.” 

“So what do we do?” I asked. “How are we going to get him back?”

“There is no ‘we’ in this situation, love.” Crowley pointed at the note still in my hands. “That little paper you have there tells you not to go looking for him, am I correct?”

I nodded. 

“Well, then you don’t go looking for him. Me and Squirrel will go up there, ask the right questions, make the right implications, and your angel will be back before dinner. Sound good?”

Almost too good. 

I quirked a brow at him and swallowed. “What’s in it for you?”

“Nothing. I owe Dean here a favor. A big favor. Now, if there’s nothing else, we better get going.”

“Can I at least go to the entrypoint with you? Please? I can’t just sit here. I can’t.”

Dean sideyed me as he shrugged his jacket back on. He looked at Crowley as if it were up to the demon, and I looked between the two, still silently asking. Crowley shrugged. 

“Yeah,” Dean said. “Let’s go, kiddo.” 

“So,” Dean began as we hit the highway. “What have you been up to?”

I picked at the hem of my shirt and stared straight ahead. Crowley said he’d meet us at the entrypoint. It was just me and Dean. I should have felt grateful for riding in the Impala with my friend again, but I just felt nervous and stressed out. The circumstances didn’t help any. 

“Uh. Hunting mostly. Although…” I paused and took a breath. “I’m thinking about giving that up.”

Dean quickly looked at me then back at the road. “Really?”

“Yeah. Especially without a partner. I mean, Cas said he’d go with me, but I’d be afraid of…”

“Of what?”

“I don’t know. That he’d be called to do something for heaven and have to leave for weeks on end. It’s happened before, but...I guess not for a really long time.” 

“So, it’s just been the two of you? In the bunker. Alone.” 

I nodded. “Yep. Pretty much.” 

“What’s that like?” He chuckled and I realized how much I missed that sound. 

“Normal, I guess. He’s become my best friend. Cas is loyal. I can always count on him.”

“Why are you in Montana?”

“I decided to leave the bunker.”

“What? Why?”

I could hear the shock in his voice. 

“Same reason as you, I guess. Too many memories. It became so quiet and it felt like there was too much space and not enough people. So, Cas helped me pack up, and we left.”

“Together.” 

I nodded. Why was he focusing on that? 

“Yes, together. Why does it matter?”

Dean shrugged. “I guess it doesn’t.” 

I decided to change the subject. “How-how’s your family?”

I looked over and watched as the grin spread wide across his face. His eyes held a certain light I never saw even when Sam was alive. “They’re amazing. We’re actually expecting another kid soon.” 

“That’s awesome, Dean! Congratulations!” 

He chuckled. “Thanks. I just wish Sam were here to be an uncle.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

We caught up after that. He told me everything about his family and little Sam. Tears welled up when he told me his son’s name, but I managed to hold them back. Dean was a mechanic and actually owned a shop specializing in classic cars. 

“I had a scare a few months back,” he said. “I thought something was lurking around the woods surrounding my house. Turns out it was something normal - a mountain lion. I didn’t like that it was so close to my kid, but at least it wasn’t a Wendigo or something.”

I told him about the few hunting trips I’d been on since leaving him to live his life in Oregon. There wasn’t much to tell, though. 

“What made you pick up the phone?” I eventually asked. 

Dean pursed his lips and shifted his grip on the steering wheel. “The fact you hadn’t called in so long. Something just didn’t feel right, so I answered. I’m glad I did.” 

I nodded as I stared at the road ahead. It winded and climbed and switched back. “Thank you. For picking up.” 

“Of course.” 

In a small way, it felt like some of my family was restored. I wanted everyone back together, of course, but I would never request it. Sometimes what we want isn’t what’s best. What was best was for Dean to return to his family after this, for Sam to remain in heaven at peace, and for Cas to come back to me. Then Dean would leave and life could get back to normal.

Chapter Text

Castiel's POV

“What do you want with me?” Cas pulled against the restraints holding him to the chair. Whatever material they were made out of, they prohibited him from using any powers. He was helpless. 

Cas looked around. He didn’t recognize whatever building this was. Wherever they took him, it wasn’t heaven. It was some obscure location, and he knew Y/n would look in heaven first. He also knew she would find him, despite the message left behind, warning her to keep out of this. Y/n would get involved. At least…he hoped she would. 

“I don’t have to tell you anything.” One of his brethren stepped in front of him. “We’re under orders to wait.”

“To wait for who?” Cas wasn’t sure who would do this. As far as he knew, he was in good standing with everyone up in heaven.

The angel in front of him shook his head. “Sorry. You’ll have to wait and see.”

“If they’re coming, then what harm would it do to tell me?”

“Something about the element of surprise. Whatever that means.”

Cas narrowed his eyes. “Is it Naomi?”

“Like I said - you’ll have to wait.”

Cas didn’t recognize the angel in front of him, which was unusual since there weren’t many of his brethren left. He knew trying to negotiate was pointless. This…guard was a good little soldier, following strict orders. If it were a different time, Cas knew he’d do the same thing. Follow orders, no questions asked. This angel acted like one of Naomi’s brainwashed pawns, but Cas couldn’t be sure. Either way, he still didn’t understand why he was essentially kidnapped and why they threatened Y/n. She was one person. Granted, she was one person with connections to Dean Winchester, and that was something the angels probably accounted for.

The guard stood in front of Cas, hands clasped together, waiting. There wasn’t anything to do but wait. So, Castiel sat there, restrained to a chair, and closed his eyes. He prayed that Y/n was on her way, hopefully with help. He didn’t want her searching alone. 

He didn’t know how much time passed, but eventually he heard the rustling of wings, and he opened his eyes to see someone he thought was long dead.

“H-how?” Cas stumbled. “You’re…”

“Dead?” Zachariah spread his arms. “Obviously it didn’t take.”

“No. What kind of deal…Why am I here, Zachariah?”

“Because,” Zachariah said, circling Cas, “ you have information I want.”

“And what is that?”

“The location of a certain Dean Winchester. I see his brother already met an unfortunate end. Dean has warded himself against everything and everyone, but I know you know where he is.”

Cas narrowed his eyes as Zachariah came back into view. “No. There’s something else. This can’t just be about Dean.”

“Perceptive little soldier.” There was a smirk on Zachariah’s face. “It’s not just about Dean. Castiel, once an obedient member of the garrison, has strayed off the straight and narrow.”

“To what are you referring, exactly?”

“There’s a certain little human that you seem to be spending a lot of time with.”

Castiel felt cold. “Y/n.”

“Yes, Y/n. Now, Castiel, you know it’s forbidden to fall in love with such an inferior speck.”

“Since when do you care about what’s forbidden and what’s not? You haven’t exactly followed the rules either.”

Zachariah shrugged. “True, true, but even I haven’t stooped that low.”

“Just because she is my friend doesn’t mean that I’m…in love with her.” Cas began to feel a little desperate. Just what did Zachariah have planned? 

The older angel chuckled. “Oh, Castiel. You can’t deny that you feel some sort of love for her. And we just simply can’t have that.”

Castiel’s eyebrows furrowed, mouth set in a frown. “What are you going to do?”

“Well first,” Zachariah said as he rolled up his sleeves, “we’re going to do a little probing to find out where good ole Dean is hiding. Then,” he paused and a sickening chuckle echoed around the room, “by that time, some of your friends will have shown up.”

Cas swallowed. He prayed to whatever angels would be kind enough to help him. Surely no one wanted Zachariah around. Even Naomi didn’t like him. 

Please , he prayed, please be merciful. Send aid. Zachariah…

Then he felt the pressure of the probing device on his head and a needle plunge into his skull. The only thing Cas saw were stars, and he screamed out as pain exploded behind his eyes. 

Dean’s POV

“Alright,” Dean said as they stood at the edge of the sandbox. The gate to heaven. “We’ll be as quick as we can.”

He watched as Y/n nodded, but there was a deep-set worry in her eyes he’d never really seen before - not even when he stumbled around the bunker after Sam died. Dean rested a hand on her shoulder and stooped to look her in the eye. 

“Hey,” he said, and Y/n’s eyes flicked up to meet his. “We’re going to get him back.”

“Right,” she sighed. “Be careful.”

“If we’re done with this beautiful scene, we really should get going.” Crowley ruffled his coat, eyebrows raised at Dean. 

Dean stepped away and spoke the words that opened the gate. He took a breath as he stepped through with Crowley. After Dean left, he never expected to be back in this sort of situation. He never thought he’d be dealing with angels or demons ever again, and the truth was he didn’t want to without Sam. Sam’s death changed everything, and doing this without him felt wrong in a way. 

On the other side of the portal was exactly what Dean remembered: white halls, white doors, and a lot of silence. However, as he looked around, an alarm sounded. 

“Should have expected that,” Crowley mumbled. “Demon in heaven and all. Come on.”

Dean took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. He was so far removed from everything…celestial happening that he had no idea how his standing was with the angels. As far as he knew, no one was out to get him when he left. But that was a long time ago. His absence may have sent a message of apathy, but in reality, he just wanted out. Let someone else save the world. 

“This way,” Crowley directed, and they turned down another hallway.

As they walked, the alarm still blared, red pulsing along the pristine walls. Dean glanced at names on doors every now and then, partially hoping to see Sam’s name on one. Cas had said Sam was in heaven with Jess, but Dean was always skeptical. 

“What are you doing here, demon?” 

They froze as a voice sounded from behind them. 

“Ah,” Crowley said, “I was wondering how long it would be till you found us.” He reached into his suit jacket, and the angel took a step forward. “Relax.” Crowley pulled out the scroll. “Take me to whoever’s in charge these days. I want to make a deal.”

The angel looked between Crowley, Dean, and the scroll. Dean could see the debate in his eyes.

“This way,” the angel said.

“Good man.” 

“Did you actually know where you were going?” Dean asked as they followed the angel.

Crowley shrugged. “Not really.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Do you actually have a plan or are we just shooting in the dark?”

“I have a loose plan that revolves around what kind of deal they want to make.”

“Really? We’re up here with a loose plan? That’s just great.”

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Winchester.”

They turned down so many halls that Dean got lost. He had no idea where the door back to earth was, and he hoped the angels would be kind enough to show them the way out. However, there was a considerable lack of angels. What had happened since he’d been gone?

“Dumah!” the escort called out as they entered some sort of office-like room. “We have someone here that wants to speak with you.”

The angel known as Dumah turned around. Her long, dark hair was pulled back away from her face, and her mouth was set in a frown. “What are you doing here?”

Crowley grinned. “Nice to see you again. We,” he gestured to Dean, “are here on strict business.”

“What kind of business do you have up here?” Dumah crossed her arms.

“I’m assuming you’re the one in charge these days, yes? Seeing as your little henchman here brought us to you.”

Dumah nodded, gesturing for Crowley to continue.

Crowley raised the scroll. “I believe this will be of some interest to you.” Dumah reached for it, but Crowley pulled it away just as she was about to take it. “Ah-ah. First, I need information.”

“Why should we help you?”

“Because,” Crowley smirked, “if the rumors are true, you have a bit of a problem. Someone is back that you really don’t want back, and let’s face it - the world is better off when they’re gone.”

Dean had no idea what Crowley was talking about, but judging by the look on Dumah’s face, she knew exactly what Crowley referenced. 

“What do you want?” Dumah asked through gritted teeth.

“The location of a certain stolen angel. Castiel, to be precise.”

Dumah shook her head, eyebrows furrowed. “We don’t know where he is. Last we knew, he was on earth with that friend of the Winchesters. Y/n.”

Dean swallowed. “You mean…you don’t have him?”

Dumah frowned. “No. Why would we want him? He’s a rebel, but he can be a useful ally when we need it. We wouldn't touch him. Is he missing?”

“Yeah, he is.” Dean sighed. “Y/n said Cas was taken. We assumed that…”

“That we had him,” Dumah finished. “If Castiel was taken, it wasn’t us. I can promise you that.” 

At that moment, Dumah grabbed her head. She cried out as if in pain and she doubled over. Dean stepped forward, hand ready to steady her if she needed it. 

“What was that?” he asked. 

Dumah lifted her head, locking eyes with Dean. “Someone’s being tortured.”

“Where?”

Dumah shook her head. “I don’t know.”

Castiel's POV

He was breathless as the pressure inside his skull became more and more unbearable. Blood trickled down his temples and out his ears and nose. Castiel continued to beg anyone listening for mercy. For help. He didn’t know if his cries were heard. He didn’t know if anyone was coming. For all Cas knew, he would die at Zachariah’s hand.

“Now,” Zachariah said, approaching the chair again. “Just a few more adjustments and we should be in.”

“Please,” Cas mumbled. “Stop.”

“I can’t do that.”

Cas lifted his eyes to meet his torturer. “Yes you can. You’re just choosing not to.”

“Look at it any way you want. Answer’s still the same.”

Zachariah lifted his hand, and Cas closed his eyes, trying to prepare for the pain. As Zachariah began twisting the probe and Cas screamed, a door burst open and Zachariah stopped. 

“Back away from the angel!” 

Cas opened his eyes. What he saw was confusing at first - he thought he was hallucinating, but the longer he stared, the more he was certain he was actually seeing Dean Winchester. He blinked, trying to displace the haziness from however long this had gone on. 

“Dean,” Cas mumbled. “Is it really you?”

“It’s me, man. Hang tight. We’re going to get you out of here.”

Zachariah chuckled. “Well. And here I thought I would have to go searching for you. I never would have guessed you would come find him voluntarily.”

“He’s still one of my best friends. Can’t leave him hangin’.”

Dean held up a gun. It had to be full of angel-killing bullets - melted down angel blade. 

“How’d you find me?” Zachariah asked, voice dripping in genuine curiosity.

“Your following isn’t as loyal as you may think.” 

Cas lifted his head further at the new voice. Dumah. A tired smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. 

“You had a rat,” Dumah continued. “When given an ultimatum, he was very forthcoming about your whereabouts.”

“And, your warding isn’t as secure as you might have hoped.” Cas would recognize Crowley’s voice anywhere. “Now. Hand us the angel and no one will get hurt. Well, maybe a couple of you, but that all depends on who wants to defend you and who doesn’t. And from where I’m standing, you’re rather alone. Plus, my friend here isn’t threatening you with just any ole gun.”

“I see.” Zachariah stepped back from Cas. “Take him. I have what I want.”

“You want to kill me because I killed you?” Dean moved forward. “I’ve wisened up a little since our last meeting. Learned some new tricks.”

"Oh, I'm not concerned with you trying to kill me again. But you might want to check up on Castiel's little...friend." Zachariah's face twisted into a sinister sneer, and Cas fought against the restraints.

"Leave her alone," Cas growled, voice cracking.

"Why?"

"Because...If you don't, I'll kill you!" Was it even a threat at this point? Cas was so weak, he knew he couldn't do much to hurt Zachariah. He was at full strength, and even before the probing began, Cas didn't have all his powers.

"And if he doesn't," Dean cut in, "I sure as hell will. Y/n's not just Cas's friend. She's like a sister to me. You hurt her, you'll have all hell break loose on your ass."

Zachariah didn’t say anything, and Cas felt his restraints come undone. Someone helped him stand and got him out of the building. As the door closed behind him, he heard gunfire ring out and someone shouting. There was a bright flash of light. It was over.

“Easy, Castiel.” Dumah helped him sit on the hood of the Impala. She touched the device fixed to his head, assessing the damage. “This will take a minute, alright? But we’ll get this off.”

“Thank you.” 

Dean and Crowley exited the building as Dumah began. It was agonizing as she eased the probes out of his head. She had to be precise or she could have caused further damage. As the last rod came out, Dumah touched his head and restored his health.

“Thank you,” Cas reiterated. He turned to Dean.

“Hey, buddy.” Dean walked up to Cas, giving him a tight hug. “It’s good to see you again.”

“You too.” Cas paused. "I'm actually surprised you came."

"Like I said - I couldn't leave you hangin', man. Wouldn't be right. Besides, Y/n was pretty convincing, and if you get in the car, I'll take you to her."

Chapter Text

Dean left me at a motel. I argued and fought, but he won, saying that just in case it wasn’t an empty threat to kill him, we couldn’t risk Cas’s life. He had a point, although I didn’t want to admit it. So, I stayed behind. I kept trying to figure out how Zachariah was alive. Dean told me the entire story a long time ago, and as far as I knew, an angel blade to the skull would certainly kill any celestial being. How had Zachariah survived?

That line of thought eventually led to just stressing over Castiel’s safety. Was he even still alive? Had he been tortured to death? Would I ever see him again? I turned on the TV for a distraction, but I couldn’t sit still. I paced the floor of the motel room, looking out the window any time I thought I heard a rumbling car. 

“Please. Please save him. Please don’t be too late.” 

Another rumbling car went by. I didn’t even bother to look outside. Countless false alarms got my hopes up, and I didn’t want to be disappointed. Not again. Instead, I went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. I needed to calm down. My heart pounded so fast that I thought it would beat out of my chest. I dried my face and went back into the main room.

“Y/n.” 

I felt my heart lurch. There he was, standing in the doorway, puppy eyes and a smile.

“Cas!”

I ran full speed and slammed into him. He stumbled back a little, back out the door and into the parking lot. I felt his arms wrap around me, holding me so tight I almost couldn’t breathe. 

“You’re okay,” I said into his trench coat.

“I’m okay,” he whispered into my hair. “We’re okay.”

I looked up at him. His eyes were tired and there was blood on his suit jacket. “What happened?”

“I’ll explain that in a minute. Just…” Cas tucked my head back into his chest and didn’t say anything else. 

I don’t know how long we stood there, but eventually someone cleared their throat, and I looked around Cas to see Dean and Crowley standing next to the Impala. 

“Well,” Crowley said, “seeing as you two lovebirds are reunited and all is well, I think I’ll be off!” With that, he disappeared. 

“Maybe we should go inside,” I said, peeling away from Cas. He seemed reluctant to let me go, which was unusual. I brushed it off and led the guys in - something I hadn’t done in a really long time. The only thing missing was Sam.

“So,” I said once the door was shut. “What the hell happened? Why did Zachariah want you?”

“First thing’s first,” Cas said. “How did you find me?” His gaze shifted between me and Dean.

“Well, like I said, Y/n called me,” Dean said. “If it hadn't been for her promise to not bother me, I would have ignored it. But…I don’t know, something just felt off when I saw her number pop up, so I answered. I’m glad I did.” He paused. “Crowley owed me big, so that’s why he was involved. Made a trip up to heaven and talked to Dumah. They had no idea that Zachariah was back. That is, until they heard you screaming through angel radio. Dumah managed to find a rat that worked for Zachariah and we got him to tell us where you were. That’s how we found you.”

Cas nodded. “Is Zachariah…”

“Oh, he’s dead.”

“We thought that last time.”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, well let’s just say I got a little trigger happy. If he survived that , I don’t know what would kill him.”

“Right.” Cas took a deep breath. “Well, he was looking for you, Dean. I think he had something of a vendetta against you for killing him last time. He knew I wouldn’t freely give up that information, hence the probe. I’m just glad you found me when you did.” I could tell there was something he purposefully left out, but I didn't press the issue.

“Well it’s a good thing I haven’t gotten too rusty.” Dean smiled. “Damn, it’s good to see you two again. Although…” He paused. “Are you sure the two of you aren’t… more than friends?”

My eyes got wide and heat rushed up my neck into my cheeks. “What kind of question is that?” 

“Well,” Dean said, “it’s just I’ve known both of you for a really long time, and I can say, I’ve never seen you hug like that before.”

“We hug all the time,” Cas said. 

“That may be,” Dean continued, “but that ? That was like a reunion between…I can’t believe I’m saying this…between lovers.” He looked between the two of us, knowing in his eyes. A knowing I didn’t share. “I think the two of you need to talk when I’m not here. But, how about we go out and get something to eat? I’m starving.”

I laughed. “Okay, so some things haven’t changed.”

“Not in the slightest!”

Dean and Cas had the chance to catch up as he drove us back to the Montana cabin. It was nice. It was a nostalgia I craved, but I knew the chapter of running the road with Dean and Castiel was over. It was over the second Sam died. Dean’s wife - because Dean went and got married - called him as we crossed the border into Montana, and it was the sweetest thing to hear him talk to his son. Seeing him as a normal person without the threat of monsters chasing him was so good to see. He got his happy ending.

“Home sweet home,” Dean said as he parked the car in front of the cabin.

“Come in for a beer?” I asked. 

“Nah, I need to get home. My kid is waiting for me, and who knows when the other one will pop out.”

I nodded. “Alright. It was so good to see you, Dean. I can’t thank you enough.”

He wrapped his arms around me. “Hey, it’s what family does.” Dean let me go and glanced between me and Cas, who had already walked up to the cabin door. “Seriously, Y/n. I think the two of you need to have a conversation about whatever it is you two have going on. Because this? It’s more than friendship, even if you don’t see it.”

“Okay.”

Dean raised his eyebrows at me. “Promise?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

Dean followed me up to the door and gave Cas one more hug. “Take care, man. Stay out of trouble.”

Cas nodded. “You too.”

With that, Dean turned around, got in his car, and drove away. I didn’t know if that was the last time I’d see him or if we’d run into each other at some point in the future. It was bittersweet watching the Impala roll down the dirt road, away from the seclusion of the cabin.

I sighed and walked inside the cabin, leaving the door open so Cas could follow. 

“I think we should update the warding on this thing,” I said as I heard the door close and the lock bolt into place. “Obviously it’s not secure enough if the angels can find us. I’ll start looking up symbols.”

“Y/n.”

“Surely Bobby left some books around here somewhere…”

“Y/n.”

“I just need to look through -” 

Cas latched onto my arm and I sucked in a breath as he spun me to face him. His eyebrows were knit together, his mouth set in a line. There was an innocence in his eyes, but there was something else behind it. Like there was something new he just discovered and he was trying to come to terms with it or understand it. 

“Cas,” I murmured, licking my lips, uncertain, “what is it?”

“It’s just…something Zachariah said.”

“What did...Zachariah have to say that was remotely important?” 

He suddenly let me go and walked toward the small kitchen, resting his hands against the counter. He shook his head, frustration in the movement. “It’s forbidden.”

My palms felt sweaty. “What is?”

Cas turned around to face me again, a desperation in his face I’d never seen before. He took a deep breath, almost as if debating with himself. “This. What I…” He swallowed, like he fought to keep the words choked back, away from the open air. “What I feel for you, Y/n. It’s forbidden. By heaven. I would be deemed an outcast forever. A rebel.”

“Aren’t you already considered a rebel?” It was not the question I wanted to ask, but it’s what came out of my mouth.

“Well, yes, but this? It’s far worse.”

“Castiel,” I said, taking a step toward him. I wanted to ask him exactly what it was he felt, but I couldn’t get the words to come out. They got caught in my throat. I found myself wanting to hear him say a certain phrase, and it was something I had never wanted from him. Or maybe I just hadn’t realized I wanted him to say it. Maybe Dean was right.

“Y/n, I…” He looked tortured all over again.

It was turning into some chick flick. 

So, something in me decided to end the tension. I didn’t consciously tell my body to move, to approach him, but it did. I didn’t consciously cradle his face in my hand, but I did. I certainly didn’t tell my toes to stretch. But they did. 

Electricity shot through me as our lips pressed together. Cas wrapped an arm around my waist, and I was glad because I would have fallen back otherwise. There was a release, like all the uncomfortable air in the room got sucked out. And a weight I didn’t know was there fell off my shoulders. 

“Y/n,” Cas mumbled. “What I feel…” He swallowed, those blue eyes boring into mine. “I…”

“It’s okay,” I whispered. “You can say it. Heaven already knows.”

He grinned, a resignation in his smile. “I love you.”

I closed my eyes as he said it, the words sinking in and wrapping around every inch of me. “I’m pretty sure I love you too." He tipped my chin toward him, capturing my lips again. "Why did it take something like this for me to know it?”

“Because,” Cas said, pressing a kiss to my forehead. He’d done that so many times before, but this time was different. “Because someone had to point it out.”

We fell into a laughter that evolved into just holding each other, giddy and carefree. Maybe it was our turn to have a happy ending.