Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Wistful. Sitting on the bathroom floor, going through and re-reading letters. He was going to go insane. What did he do? Why did he do that? After everything they went through, after all the good he’s done for him, and this is how he decides the conclusion?

What a freak. 

This was not him. He didn’t want to be this. Why was he acting like this? Did the months of anger subside to birth this ugly creature of relentless regret? This feels so wrong. This isn’t him. Why did he do that to him? 

“W-what the fuck? Why did I wake up?”

His tears were thick, streaming down and he didn’t understand why. He doesn’t deserve to cry, but he does. He pours into writing once more, because that’s all he could ever do, the only thing he’ll ever be good at. And he scribbles down into his ragged little notebook. It’s been almost 9 months since he last talked to him. 

He didn’t even fucking die, it was almost hilarious. 

His hands could feel the red. It was there. He can feel the red. No, he swears he didn’t do anything like that, it was just a dream, right? It was him being silly again.

He was doing fine now, so, so much better without him. They were poison to each other anyway. Someone’s heartbeat would stop one day too early, and they’d point fingers at the person who’d go first like it was self-defense.

And it was Kaveh, wiping his hands desperately on the fabric of his pants. His palms were sweaty, but it felt like blood. Maybe he was finally succumbing to insanity? It was about time. He wondered many nights when the guilt would one day swallow him up and drown him. He doesn’t know what he looked like the night he walked out with his bags. He refused to look back. This was for him. This was for them. And he’d continue to be this disillusioned by his life after the silence.

He hadn’t seen him in months. Hadn’t heard anything about him. He hadn’t been to any gatherings since, only sharing small talk when he did bump into his old friends. They were his friends too, and he’d be crueler to take them along with him. He was selfish enough. And as the seasons—as if there were any in Sumeru—passed by, so did the faces that came and went. He would greet clients with a friendly face, later on draining whatever he had left at home as he downed cheap alcohol and anything that could barely pass as a meal.  

“I really did love him though.”

This time, he wished he could be more dramatic about it and down the entire bottle of expensive gin he bought when he first moved in. Maybe he’ll get into trouble and wake up dazed and unaware of the night’s events. He wished he could be more irresponsible with himself for once. Maybe he should throw a fit right there and punch the walls till his hands bleed. 

Nothing felt real.

He wished he had someone he could talk to about it, but he doesn’t. No one would understand. The only thing they’d understand was that he was a selfish, narcissistic man who couldn’t do anything but leave the one good thing he had. He had the audacity to villainize him, but the misunderstanding made him want to scrub his skin raw. It wasn’t about him. It wasn’t. Why did he think it was about him?  He was too tired of explaining everything he did. He was tired of talking. He was tired of caring. He was moving on to other things and they just shackled each other. Maybe he didn’t understand what moving on with life was because he’d been in his house for so long, he had his entire future set up for him, but not Kaveh. 

Kaveh had to work and fight and bleed for what he has, that’s what he believes. He was tired of being the charity case. The scribe took that in offense and Kaveh didn’t want to care anymore. He didn’t want him to care . Archons, why did Alhaitham need to know everything and nothing about him? Why did Kaveh divulge his secrets like that and then hurt him, leaving only himself vulnerable? For someone so reputable for his education, he was an idiot.

He wanted to rip the papers into shreds and burn them, that way, he may not see them ever again.

He had pride as a man too. A little too much. 

This was pointless. Why did everything have to feel so pointless? 

It was painful trying to get back up. Gravity was tugging him back down, but he knew better than to sit back down. He still has shit to do. He was an adult, he needed to do better than this. This was a today-thing. Only because he found those letters. Letters he doesn’t know what he’ll do about. He needs to grow past this. He was growing. He was doing so well. It was just an off day. He’ll be better in the morning. 

It was now about 45 to midnigt. He placed the kettle on the stove, leaning on the counter as he waited.

Two knocks on the door.

He jumped quite a bit, startled. Who could that be at this hour? He flattened down his nightshirt and ensured his face didn’t look tear-stained. He peeked in the peephole before opening the door. Sumeru nights were always cold.

“Tighnari? What’s going on? It’s midnight?”

“There was a report of concern from the neighbor. He thought he heard something wrong going on here. He heard screaming and was sure no one came to your house today. I was coincidentally in the office so I ended up being the one to do the check… Any idea what that was about?” His brows furrowed, arms crossed, his body leaning on the doorframe, and he was panting lightly.

Kaveh sighed, “Come in here, it’s freezing out there. I was just about to make some tea.” He ushered him in and Tighnari only bowed his head in thanks, walking into the living room.

“Nice place, almost makes me want to come here more often,” Tighnari spoke pointedly.

The host didn’t comment on it, focusing on making his tea. It was quiet after that.

“Here,” Kaveh handed the warmed mug of chai to the guest. 

“Thank you.”

He sat down on the chair across from Tighnari, taking a sip. He felt the stare and sighed once more, “The neighbor really said all that? Nothing really happened, I was just yelling at a draft I messed up earlier, I don’t think it would be too concerning–”

“He said that you were in hysterics, begging to die. Now, how do you explain that? I’m worried about you Kaveh, we all are. You’ve been so withdrawn since you moved… When I heard what he said, I ran straight here, I was so, so worried.”

His heart sank into his stomach, “No, I wouldn’t–No, Tighnari I would never do that to mysel-”

“Then why did you push all of us away?” He spoke barely over a whisper as he locked eye contact. “It’s like we never used to hang out every single week? We decided to give you some space, but then you didn’t reach back out, and when we did, you declined any offers to reconnect-”

He just about slammed his mug on the table, “You were his friends first!”

Tighnari’s eyes widened and glassed over.

“Don’t you understand that I’ve taken so much from him already? I didn’t want to ruin his and your lives any further.”

He wiped on his sleeve furiously, “I didn’t want you to choose. He was your friend first and you needed to be there for him, because Archons know how bad I hurt him and how I broke him and I can’t go on living knowing that he has no one to help him get through it…”

“ Don't you understand? ” 

“Kaveh, you’re our friend too.”

“I know that–”

Tighnari furrows his brows once more, “Then why do you-”

“–But I don’t deserve you.”

“Bullshit!” The fennec boy growled, getting on his feet and grabbing Kaveh by the shoulders, “That is utter bullshit , do you know how often I have to physically stop Cyno from coming here? Almost every single day! And if I weren’t too keen on fucking boundaries I would’ve gone here myself! Because we love you Kaveh! And we care about you too!” The tears were pouring and the blonde could not look him in the eyes, “And look at yourself, please. You lost so much weight. You are so overworked and I don’t know if you even sleep with the bags you have. So for Archons' sake, please take the week off and come to the pub tomorrow. Please. This is for you. We miss you and we want to see you more often again.”

Kaveh didn’t know how else to respond, but to nod. Tighnari then pushed him into a tight embrace and the inner dam of Kaveh broke even further. He couldn’t hold it in anymore and held on tight to his… friend, “I’m so sorry. I did try to do something earlier. I’m so sorry. I’m so selfish.”

Tighnari held on to him, “You’ll be alright. You’re safe now. I’m right here, okay?”

Chapter Text

Did you know I can disassociate at will now?

Not the most useful skill, 

But I think it’s better than purposefully feigning ignorance.

You have the most interesting way of pretending we don’t exist,

What a pity i can’t tear away what parts are yours;

I hate looking in the mirror and seeing you

::

Kaveh groaned. He had to clean up the messes that were his bedroom and bathroom. The bedroom could wait, the bathroom couldn’t. It reeked of alcohol, vomit, blood and shitty decisions. He had to take a pause. He could’ve been found here, in this mess, slowly rotting away until someone noticed something was wrong. It was quite the sullen thought, but it was true.

He held up an arm in front of him, flipping it front and back. 

Just to make sure.

He banged said arm on the doorframe and he hissed in recoil, “Nope. Definitely alive… fuck. ” He was an idiot. The bandages under his gloved arms undid slightly and he could feel the red seeping through. Yup, still here. He sighed and undid the glove, tightening the bandage on his arm, red was definitely  blooming from where he slammed it on the frame. 

Archons, I’m going nowhere.

Sliding the glove back on, he put on a face mask to ease his nostrils of the curse of an odor he caused himself. 

Time to get to it. 

Grabbing a bucket filled with soapy water, he tossed the mixture on the floor from the entrance. The whole bathroom was tiled, so it made the process a tad more easier. Watching the soapy water mix with dark brown and other colored liquids was almost satisfying, if it weren't for the fact that he wasn’t mixing paint for color testing, but that he was cleaning up literal bodily fluids. 

He got to scrubbing the floors with a long, flat-bottomed broom. It was such a strange feeling to know he was still here, scrubbing the floors because he decided to off himself last night. It was all one big blur until the part where he woke up and then he was suddenly talking to Tighnari. 

Right, he needed to finish this by the afternoon, he was meeting up with him and Cyno that night. They wanted to see him again. 

Cyno had visited him earlier that morning, not knowing Tighnari was there the night prior. He had apparently heard about his neighbor’s report too and decided to visit. It took one look at him and Kaveh broke down into tears, bringing the confused general into a hug, a welcomed one at that. Kaveh kept him in embrace for a while and saw a red-faced Cyno blink at him once he let go. 

He didn’t exactly have the energy to explain what was going on, or what happened, but he promised to meet up with him and Tighnari that night, and promised once more that he’d explain everything then. Cyno gave him one last hug before bidding him farewell.

It felt oddly therapeutic in its own twisted way. Washing away what would have looked like a crime scene. Like he was scrubbing all the evidence of his own murder away. 

Like he was both the murderer and the accomplice. 

He watched the rest of the blood swirl down the drain. It looked almost pretty, almost felt artisan. 

What a morose thought, almost sick . 

He laughed lightly at himself. One last rinse of water and the floors would be back to pristine. It’s been a while since it’s been cleaned. He got up and removed the gloves, wiping away his sweat with a towel he had on his shoulder. It reeked of chemicals, it was the comforting kind of burn.

It was done. A clean bathroom. He stood there for a moment, taking it all in. 

He almost died last night.

No one saw what they didn’t need to.

________________

Cyno walked briskly into the Tavern. No one was telling him shit and he couldn’t find Tighnari all day, which was really weird considering they have always bumped into each other, coincidence or not. Which could mean one thing.

Tighnari was deliberately ignoring and hiding from him. 

What the hell happened last night that caused Kaveh to break down like that? Understandably, he’d been having a rough few months since he moved out as per his understanding, considering the circumstances why and how  he moved out, but last night’s scene gave him a bitter taste in his mouth that he didn’t like. It just felt wrong and no one would tell him why. 

He caught a green stripe of hair by his peripheral, he turned straight towards it and walked towards a small booth at the corner. Tighnari didn’t seem to notice him or his gaze, busy looking at the small menu card. Ah, he was doing that thing again.

“Tighnari? I have arrived.”

He continued to stare blankly at the card, flipping it to its back and front from time to time. 

“Tighnari.”

No response. Cyno sighed, this was happening more often. If it went on at this pace, Tighnari would start doing it at work too. He needed a break. He needed help he refused to get and it was frustrating. “Tighnari!” It was barely a shout, but it made a couple heads turn.

“O-oh, Cyno, sorry…Hi? I didn’t notice you there haha..” The ranger trailed off laughing awkwardly.

Cyno sighed once more, “You need a break.”

“I know, soon. I promise.”

“You better Tighnari, you look so tired,” he laid his palms out open on the table, Tighnari placing his hands atop. “Both you and Kaveh, did you see him today? Or last night? I heard someone talking about a report and I visited his place and he just…he broke down, I don’t know what’s wrong, he didn’t tell me.”

Tighnari sighed and smiled sadly, retracting his hands to play with the edge of his right glove, “I did go there last night and he…he was a mess. He needs help, Cyno and we need to be there for him.”

“What did he say?”

“He…I can’t tell you, but he will. He’s here,” Tighnari gestured towards the entrance and lo and behold, Kaveh. In his usual work outfit, suitcase unseen for once in such a long time. It was refreshing in a way to not see him lugging said object around with him everywhere he went. Tighnari stood up and let Kaveh sit by the wall side of the booth, so that he’d be more hidden and it looked like only he and Cyno were there. Kaveh was thankful for the small consideration.

He took in a small breath, “Hey?”

“Hey, long time no see,” Cyno smiled softly.

“I-yeah, a really long time, sorry,” He scratched at his nape apologetically and Cyno just shrugged,

“Hey let’s get some food and drinks before we talk, does that sound good?”

“Considering how I expect that you’ve memorized the menu by how long you were staring at it, I trust you know what’s best to get?” Cyno raised an eyebrow.

Tighnari flushed red, “Hey! Sorry that I was spazzed out like that, I was tired from work, okay?”

“I don’t know, you seem to like inspecting and memorizing details, I wouldn't be surprised if such would extend towards tavern menus?” Kaveh joked lightly and Tighnari crossed his arms, rolling his eyes, “Damn, you’re back and the first thing you decide to do is gang up on me with Cyno? Low.”

Kaveh smiled as Tighnari walked over to the barkeep, chatting idly with him as he ordered and waited for their food at the front table. 

Cyno focused on Kaveh, “Hey, you know whatever’s going on you can trust us to help you, right? We really care about you Kaveh.” Said blonde  wanted to cry right then and there, eyes glossed over as his throat tightened up and it hurt to swallow it down, “Yeah.” Cyno moved forward to mess up Kaveh’s hair, “H-hey!” The general chuckled as the blonde’s cheeks flushed red. 

“Now, i leave for 5 minutes and now Kaveh’s all flustered, what’d you do this time Cyno? Tell him another terrible joke?” Tighnari set down the food and drinks on the table. It smelled so good and Kaveh didn’t realize how long it had been since he had last eaten anything that wasn’t just “sustainable” / Which was a watered down version of what he’d call his shitty, very concerning (at least he never got food poisoned)  concoctions.

“Archons, I’m starving, let’s dig in?”

___________________

Sat with mugs of tea on Kaveh’s (surprisingly really large and lush) sofa in the living room, the two guests sat and had every detail of the house sink in slowly. It looked exactly like the type of house Kaveh would have. Not too many details like the random trinkets Cyno has plastered around his house, but not as empty as Tighnari’s where he made sure to have the bare minimum only, with the occasional framed picture of his friends. The only thing that Kaveh’s house seemed to lack was a good atmosphere. 

It felt so lonely.

“Sorry about the wait, here,” Kaveh set down a plate of  candied ajilenakh nut on the coffee table and sat in-between the two, “You can ask…I don’t mind and you guys deserve an explanation.”

The two finished their tea, placing their cups on the table, glancing at each other nodding, as they then wrapped their arms around Kaveh.

The action made the blonde sputter, “G-guys?”

“You’re not alone anymore,” Tghnari murmured lightly on his right side.

That was it. Kaveh ducked his head down, hands on his mouth as he tried to muffle the wails he knew he’d let out. 

Were they really classified as tears when each drop was heavier than rain?

Cyno smoothed out the blonde’s unclipped  hair with one hand as one rubbed his back, “You don’t have to hold it in anymore, we’re here and we’ll be here to listen, alright?”

 Kaveh turned, sniffling and red-faced towards Cyno, “I'm so sorry I disappeared out of nowhere, it wasn’t on purpose at first, i promise, but then i just got worse and I thought with so much time apart, you’d never want to see me again, and maybe you guys would rather be with him than with me and-”

“Remember what I told you last night?” Tighnari smiled weakly, holding Kaveh’s hands in his, “Regardless of who our friends are, that doesn’t mean we don’t still care about you and consider you one of our closest friends, Kaveh. You have more of a shot at sticking being my friend than Cyno heere,” He poked Cyno’s side, as the latter pouted playfully, “Fair.”

“In all seriousness though, do you think after all that time we spent together, we’d just ditch you? You really don’t see it Kaveh but we’re the ones lucky enough to be considered your friends! And I promise you, I see it as the truth! You don't need to prove yourself for anything, because you deserve to be treated with love and respect because you are human and i don’t know what makes you think otherwise, but Kaveh, you need to take more care of yourself, we know you’re very capable, but this has been the first time in a long time that you’ve lived alone.We want to make sure you’re alright and settled in well, we love you so much, you have no idea,” Tighnari squeezed Kaveh in his hold and Cyno nodded in agreement, “And i share the same sentiments, who else would listen to my jokes? I mean, no one but Albedo from Mondstadt listens, but that aside, you’re really kind and understanding, you’re also really good at pointing out details no one sees and it shows in your work and we are all so proud of you, you’ve accomplished much great things and yet we feel like you don’t see it, you deserve some pride in yourself for your accomplishments.”

Kaveh let out a wet laugh. “I know. I know I should, but I just don’t feel like I should, anyone could’ve done that, there are so many architects out there, I was just lucky-”

“You are so not lucky , you worked hard for this!”

“-and someone else could’ve done it better, I  could've done better, and it’s not like that one thing will define me, I know, so I try so hard to prove to myself and everyone that I can and will do better, and I do, and I still will continue to, but I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied with what i do, and maybe that’s okay, right?”

Silence.

“A-And I was trying so hard to balance work with my actual social life, but I thought i should focus on work for once, but I was burning out and I made sure no one saw that, but I’m an idiot for believing that, because ever since the competition, Alhaitham had been up my ass about taking a break and taking care and I didn’t understand why? I was trying my best to work so I could finish this place as fast as I possibly could, because he seemed so irritated then, and a week before I was supposed to move, we fought. It’s stupid, we just fought and-” The laughter that came out of it was heartbreaking, remorseful.

“I…I loved him.’ 

Gasps and widened eyes, Cyno and Tighnari could only stare in guilt.

“We knew,” Cyno patted his head once more, stroking his hair, “We knew all along, Kaveh.”

“And I..I didn’t tell him that I did, but.. fuck. I really fucked up, I just…I…We were talking about me moving out, because he was just dodging that, and he asked if that was really what I wanted and I said that yes, it’s exactly why I built the house for and then e just…he got mad for some reason and he wouldn’t tell me why and I tried to make him say it and one thing led to another…He...Wrote letters for me and he gave them all to me…”

“The last one told me he loved me, and I couldn't do that to him.”

“Kaveh, but you loved-”

“I know! Which is exactly why I left. I can’t be with him knowing I’ve been lying to him this whole time about who I am, about my past, about how I am never going to be satisfied with my life, I can’t leave him with that baggage because I love him too much to live knowing that I will never show him this side of me, don’t you get it?”

“ You're  the one who doesn’t get it Kaveh! Do you not see how he looks at you? You’re all he talks about with us!  Kaveh would like this- i trust Kaveh will handle it- Kaveh has been down lately? There is no day he doesn’t mention your name with us and at first we thought it was some weird roommate thing, but no, the guy literally loves you, and I don’t understand how you don’t see that? He’s not the kind of guy who would run away once he finds out what you’ve been through, because he, himself has so many secrets locked up in that mind of his and it took me and Cyno such a long time to figure out that the guy was literally living each day trying to make up for the shit he’d been through, and you were one last thing keeping him from literally going ballistic—"

"I know. And I was so selfish for doing that to him. I made him believe in something that could never happen and I genuinely feel like shit about it-"

His voice was soft, laced with concern, "I know it may be a little too much to bring you to the tavern, but we all know you need some air… but you look really pale, are you sure you’re alright? We can reschedule—"

Kaveh shrugged, avoiding their gaze. “I’m fine… the whole thing was just a… minor setback."

Cyno's eyes narrowed. "Minor setback? Kaveh…" He trailed off, unable to articulate the horror that still lingered within him.

Kaveh looked away, the weight of their unspoken words pressing down on him. "It doesn't matter now," he mumbled. "It's over."

Tighnari gently placed a hand on Kaveh's shoulder. "It's not over, Kaveh. You're still here. And we're here for you."

Kaveh looked up, surprised by the sincerity in Tighnari's eyes. He had always seen Tighnari as the calm, collected warden, but there was genuine warmth in his gaze, a deep well of empathy that Kaveh hadn't expected.

"I don't want your pity," Kaveh said, his voice sharp. "I just want to be left alone."

Cyno's expression hardened. "Pity? Kaveh, this isn't about pity. We're worried about you. We're your friends. We talked about this"

The word "friends" hung heavy in the air, a foreign concept to Kaveh. He had pushed everyone away, built walls around himself, convinced himself that he didn't need anyone. But now, looking at Cyno and Tighnari, their faces etched with concern, he realized how wrong he had been.

"I… I don't know what to say," Kaveh admitted, his voice trembling. 

"I'm sorry. I… I just couldn't handle it anymore."

Tighnari pulled him into a gentle hug, the warmth of his fur a comforting presence against Kaveh's skin. Cyno stood awkwardly to the side, his usual stoicism replaced by a flicker of vulnerability.

"It's okay," Tighnari murmured. "It's okay to not be okay. We're here for you, Kaveh. We'll help you through this."

Kaveh clung to Tighnari, burying his face in his fur. The scent of the rainforest, earthy and comforting, filled his senses. For the first time in a long time, he felt a sense of peace, a sense of belonging.

Kaveh nodded weakly, his body still trembling. 

As Kaveh spoke, he felt a sense of relief washing over him. The weight of his burdens seemed to lighten, the suffocating silence within him beginning to crack. He realized that he wasn't alone. He had friends who cared about him, friends who were willing to listen, to support him.

::

They walked home in complete silence. 

It was nice, they all needed this. 

After Kaveh had poured and felt the kettle lighten, Tighnari insisted on making him some tea. 

While the water boiled, Cyno sat beside Kaveh on the couch, an awkward silence hanging between them.

"I… I'm sorry," Cyno finally said, his voice gruff. "I should have noticed. I should have been there for you."

Kaveh shook his head. "It's not your fault, Cyno. I pushed everyone away."

"But we're still here," Cyno said, his gaze unwavering. "We're not going anywhere."

Tighnari brought over two mugs of steaming tea. "Here you go," he said, handing one to Kaveh, "Drink up. It'll help."

Kaveh took a sip of the tea, the warmth spreading through his body. He looked at his two friends, their faces illuminated by the soft glow of the setting sun. 

For the first time in a long time, he felt a genuine sense of connection, a sense of belonging. He was so, so genuinely lucky , to ever have known these two and to have the chance to be so close. He thought he’d lost them the moment he cut ties with him. 

He knew that he still had a long way to go. But for the first time in a long time, he felt a glimmer of hope. He wasn't alone. He had friends who cared about him, friends who would help him through this.

And that, he realized, was enough.

As the night deepened, Cyno and Tighnari stayed with Kaveh, their presence a comforting anchor in the storm of his emotions. They talked about everything and nothing, sharing stories, laughing, and simply enjoying each other's company. 

Kaveh knew that this was just the beginning of his recovery. He had a long road ahead of him, filled with challenges and setbacks. But he also knew that he wouldn't be facing them alone. He had friends who would be there for him, friends who would help him find his way back to the light.

And as he drifted off to sleep that night, with the comforting warmth of friendship surrounding him, Kaveh felt a sense of peace he hadn't experienced in a long time. He knew that he would be okay.

He would be okay.

::

The moon hung heavy in the sky, casting long, skeletal shadows across the bustling market square. A certain man’s usual composure frayed at the edges, hurried down the cobbled streets, the rhythmic clatter of his sandals against the stone echoing in the stillness of the night. 

The journey, usually a mundane affair, felt agonizingly slow.

Every passing alleyway, every hushed conversation that drifted to his ears, seemed to magnify the weight of the information he'd just received.

Tighnari, his usual jovial self subdued by a grim seriousness, had revealed the truth during a heated argument . 

"You think your constant criticism is helping him?" Tighnari had roared, his voice laced with anger. 

"He tried to end his own life two nights ago, Alhaitham! Do you have any idea what that does to a person?"

The words had struck Alhaitham like a physical blow. Kaveh…had attempted…suicide? The image was so utterly alien to him that it left him reeling.

He knew it was killing him, but he didn’t think he would take matters into his own hands. 

He just couldn't fathom it.

Now, standing before Kaveh's door, the reality of the situation finally began to sink in. His heart hammered against his ribs, a frantic drumbeat against the silence. He reached out a trembling hand and knocked softly, the sound swallowed by the night.

Silence.

He knocked again, this time with more urgency.

The door creaked open, revealing Kaveh standing in the doorway, his face pale and drawn, his eyes hollow and shadowed. He looked like a ghost, a pale reflection of the vibrant man Alhaitham knew.

"Alhaitham?" Kaveh's voice was a hoarse whisper, laced with disbelief. "What… what are you doing here?"

Alhaitham pushed past the lingering question, his voice rough with concern. "Tighnari… he told me."

Kaveh's eyes widened, a flicker of pain crossing his features. He stepped back, gesturing for Alhaitham to enter. "Come in. But… I don't know what to say."

Alhaitham entered. The room was a mess, a stark contrast to Kaveh's usual meticulousness. Sketches lay scattered across the floor, paintbrushes abandoned mid-stroke, and a strange silence hung heavy in the air.

"I… I don't understand," Alhaitham began, his voice trembling. "Why? Why would you do such a thing?"

Kaveh looked away, his gaze drawn to the floor. "It's… it's complicated."

"Please," Alhaitham urged, "tell me."

Kaveh sighed, the sound heavy with despair. He sank into a chair, his shoulders slumping. "I… I felt... so inferior to you, so minuscule, as if whatever I did never mattered or was never enough... Alhaitham, You know we were poison to each other.”

The confession hung in the air, heavy and suffocating. Alhaitham felt a wave of nausea wash over him. "Never enough?" he repeated, his voice barely a whisper. "Kaveh, that's… that's absurd."

Kaveh shook his head, a bitter smile twisting his lips. "Is it? I spend my days chasing your approval, striving to meet your impossible standards. My art, my opinions, my very existence… it all seems to fall short. You always have something to criticize, some flaw to point out."

"And it was never limited to my art, it was as if everything had to do with who I am as a person, and that was so fucked up of you."

Alhaitham felt a pang of guilt pierce through him. 

He had always been… critical . 

Kaveh's art, while undeniably talented, often veered towards the flamboyant, the theatrical, something Alhaitham found… excessive. He had voiced his opinions, of course, offering constructive criticism as he saw it. But had he crossed a line? Had his words, meant to be helpful, instead become a constant source of... indirect anger and such...resentment?

"I know I can be… opinionated and I may not have the most gentle of wordings," Alhaitham admitted, his voice laced with regret. "But I never meant to hurt you."

Kaveh looked up, his eyes searching Alhaitham's face. "But you did. Every time you dismissed my ideas, every time you pointed out a flaw, it chipped away at me. I felt… invisible. Like my efforts were meaningless."

Alhaitham reached out, his hand hovering over Kaveh's arm. "I… I never meant to make you feel that way. I value your opinion, your art. I… I admire your passion, your dedication."

Kaveh looked away, his gaze fixated on a half-finished painting on the easel. "But you never show it."

Alhaitham felt a wave of despair wash over him. He had been so focused on improving Kaveh, on helping him reach his full potential, that he had neglected to express his genuine appreciation. He had taken Kaveh's talent for granted, assuming that his constant feedback was enough.

He gently took the basket from his lap and placed it on the table. "I… I brought you some… some things."

Kaveh looked at the basket, his curiosity piqued. He slowly lifted the lid, revealing a collection of vibrant flowers, a small pot of honey, and a beautifully crafted clay teapot.

"I… I wanted to show you that I… I appreciate you," Alhaitham said, his voice barely audible. "I appreciate your passion, your creativity, your… your unique perspective on the world."

"I appreciate you more than words could ever promise."

Kaveh stared at the gifts, his eyes widening in surprise. He had never received a gift from Alhaitham before, not a genuine one, not one that wasn't a thinly veiled attempt to "improve" his life in some way.

"I… I don't know what to say," Kaveh whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

"You don't have to say anything," Alhaitham replied, his voice softening. "Just… know that I… I value you, Kaveh. More than you know."

A tear escaped Kaveh's eye, tracing a path down his cheek. He looked up at Alhaitham, his gaze filled with a mixture of disbelief and gratitude. "Alhaitham…"

Alhaitham reached out and gently brushed a stray tear from Kaveh's cheek. "I know I haven't always been the best...friend. I… I've been… blind to your feelings."

Kaveh reached out and took Alhaitham's hand in his, his grip surprisingly firm. "It's not too late," he whispered. "Is it?"

Alhaitham shook his head. "No. It's never too late."

They sat in silence for a long while, the only sound the gentle ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece.

"Can I… can I show you something?" Kaveh asked, his voice gaining strength.

Alhaitham nodded, his heart filled with a newfound hope.

Kaveh led him to the easel, where the unfinished painting stood. "This… this is something I've been working on. It's… it's inspired by you."

Alhaitham looked at the painting, his breath catching in his throat. It was a portrait, not of him, but of the Akademiya, the grand institution that symbolized his life's work. But it wasn't a mere depiction. The painting was infused with Kaveh's unique style, the lines bold and expressive, the colors vibrant and swirling, the overall effect… breathtaking.

"It's… it's beautiful," Alhaitham breathed, his voice filled with genuine admiration.

Kaveh smiled, a genuine, heartfelt smile that lit up his face. "Thank you," he whispered. "I… I wanted to show you that my art… it's not just about… about impressing you. It's about… about expressing myself."

Alhaitham nodded, his eyes filled with understanding. "I… I understand."

They spent the rest of the evening talking, not about grand theories or philosophical debates, but about simple things: their childhoods, their dreams, their hopes for the future. Alhaitham listened intently, truly listening, asking questions, offering genuine praise and encouragement.

As the night wore on, the tension that had been hanging over them began to dissipate, replaced by a 

sense of peace and understanding.

"I'm sorry," Alhaitham said, his voice sincere. "I'm so sorry for hurting you."

Kaveh shook his head. "It's alright. I… I forgive you."

He looked at Alhaitham, his eyes filled with a warmth that made Alhaitham's heart ache. "Thank you," he whispered. "For being here. For… for understanding."

Alhaitham smiled, a genuine, heartfelt smile that mirrored Kaveh's. "I'm here for you, Kaveh. Always."

As he walked home that night, the moon still hanging heavy in the sky, Alhaitham felt a sense of peace he had not in years.