Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Moonlight flowed in from the open doors, staining the golden vines that climbed quartz columns in a nocturnal glow. The light from the stars caught on obsidian chandeliers and spotlighted the fabrics that intertwined and swirled in an ocean of dance.

Ritsu Sakuma sighed to himself as he observed the spectacle below. The music charmed him, begging him to sway his head or tap his fingers along the side of his legs to the rhythm. He couldn’t show any inclination to dance, though. After all, that’s how his brother Rei Sakuma was dragged onto the dance floor by foreign suitors in extravagant suits or frilly skirts. 

It was his party, and he knew he should dance and enjoy himself; if only to thank his father for all the preparations. Ritsu looked down at his reflection in his wine glass. Maybe one day he would learn to mask his true feelings as well as his brother, but for now, he had to find a way out. 

Ritsu took a long, slow sip from his glass as he glanced around for an escape. He silently cursed himself for momentarily locking eyes with a small group of partygoers who smiled bashfully and bowed deeply. 

“H-Happy birthday, Prince Ritsu,” a few of them said, their voices almost exactly in sync. A tickle of amusement fluttered in his belly at the thought of their encounter possibly being rehearsed. Was everyone that nervous around him? It’s not like he was ever going to ascend to the throne.

Ritsu allowed a soft smile to bloom on his lips as he took a moment to look each of them in the eye. They were definitely a few years younger than he, but that didn’t give him enough of an excuse for mercy. If they were going to approach him, he might as well have a little bit of fun. 

“Thank you so much,” he said, salthering feigned delight into his voice like a thick layer of honey. “You’re all too kind. I’m so happy you could come.” 

They couldn’t notice the slight shift of amusement in his expression as he watched the ways their eyes began to avert from his, and the way their cheeks warmed so much that he could see the red behind the makeup on a few of their faces. 

Satisfied with his work, Ritsu dismissed himself with a soft “Please excuse me,” and stalked passed them. 

They had been amusing, but only for a moment. If he continued with interactions like that, he would surely wear himself out before they even brought out the sweets. 

“Ah, Ritsu.” 

The Prince in question winced, recognizing his father’s voice. 

Please don’t ask me to dance with anyone. I don’t think I’ll be able to survive an interaction like that without causing a war.

Ritsu turned around with a pleasant smile. “Hello, father. Is everything alright-“ Ritsu’s words were taken out of his mouth as his father’s hand met his head. That didn’t happen often. Especially not in public settings like this. 

“I haven’t heard anything from the guards yet, so all must be well. Are you enjoying yourself? We have the guards on high alert, so feel free to let loose and have fun.” 

Why are you telling me to have fun? You’re the only one who’s worried. Oh, well. You’re trying your best, aren’t you?

“I will, thank you.” Ritsu slowly stepped out from under his hand. “The party is wonderful, father.”

Mercifully, his father removed his hand from Ritsu’s head and made to leave. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. Let me know if you need anything.” 

Ritsu watched his father go. It seemed like he could get off without a lecture for now. He turned on his heel, causing his single-shoulder cape to billow as his eyes settled on the door that lead to the rose garden. He would be able to breathe there. 

The cool night air ruffled his hair as he stepped outside. Ritsu took in a deep breath through his nose, feeling the air fill his lungs and spread out to relax the rest of his body. He brought his gaze sweeping over the beautiful scenery in front of him, drinking it all in. Moonlight spotlighted the entrance to the garden; a small balcony with stairs on either side. Roses dotted dark the wall of leaves before him, reflecting the silver stars in the sky. Ritsu gently planted his hands on the cold stone before slowly gripping it until his knuckles turned white, resisting the urge to jump into the sea of roses and thorns before him. 

Oh, the things he would give to melt into the beautiful world around him. 

“The star of the hour should be dancing at a time like this, don’t you think?” 

Ritsu reacted before he thought about his image, whirling around to face the knife in his serene night, his eyes narrowed and his lips curved into a dangerous frown. 

Who dares- ah, I’m looking sour again, aren’t I? Oh, well. Too late to change that now.

The offender immediately raised his arms in a surrender, lining them up with his hair that was slicked back on one side. 

“Woah, sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

Ritsu slowly relaxed, but his eyes stayed leering towards the stranger. Still, at least he was getting a way out.

“That’s alright.”

The stranger paused awkwardly, gazing at Ritsu for much too long. 

What are you still doing here? You’ve interrupted my silence. You can disappear now.

“Uhm… what are you doing out here alone, if I can ask? I thought you loved parties.”

Again, Ritsu failed to hide his true emotions yet again as he gazed at the boy in total shock. Who was he? Why was he speaking to him in such a familiar manner? Did he not understand who Ritsu was? 

He cleared his throat softly, struggling to force a pleasant smile back on his face. “Listen, I don’t know which rumor you must have heard, but I would appreciate it if a stranger wouldn’t…”

The shocked look on the man’s face caused Ritsu to pause for a moment. 

“Oh… Oh! I’m sorry, I completely misread the situation. I- wow… Haha, this is a little embarrassing… Well, I suppose it was a little presumptuous of me to assume you remembered. It has been years since we last saw each other, Ricchan.”

Ritsu paused, really taking in the man before him. His hair was longer now, but he should have recognized those bright green eyes that always made him feel warm and happy — like a beautiful field of wild grass. Ritsu’s smile bloomed like a flower seeing its first bit of sunlight in a long while.

“Maakun?” He asked, the hesitation in the question not fitting his soft voice that was full of excitement. Had his childhood friend really come to his birthday party?

The one before him grew bashful from the name. “That’s me,” he said with a shy laugh. “Have you been well?”

The words barely tumbled out of Mao Isara’s lips before Ritsu Sakuma collided into him with a tight embrace, causing him to stumble back slightly with a soft yelp of surprise. Several heartbeats passed before Ritsu realized he wasn’t talking. Right, that might be important if you were seeing someone for the first time in a while.

He pulled away, examining Mao’s face closely with a pleasant smile on his lips and soft hums escaping his throat. “Where have you been all this time?”

Mao laughed bashfully, and Ritsu took no notice of his deep blush as he absorbed everything else; the changes in Mao’s facial structure now that they weren’t children anymore, the way he still had to keep his hair back from that pesky cowlick always forcing it in his face, and how he was now the shorter one of the two. 

So you’re shorter than me now? I guess all my sleeping in paid off in the end, then.

“That’s… kind of a long story,” Mao said with hesitation clear in his tone.

“Then I guess we’ll have a lot to talk about,” Ritsu said nonchalantly as he let his arm hook around Mao’s, and pulled away from him so he could motion to the moonlit rose garden, “and I’d love some company on my walk.” 

Mao blinked in surprise before a soft sigh of defeat escaped his lips. Ritsu examined his smile, not able to define the rare emotional mix of nostalgia and platonic affection. His own smile was full of satisfaction as Mao linked their hands and intertwined their fingers, and Ritsu didn’t know how to feel about the delightful tingles that went up his arm from the touch. When was the last time he actually enjoyed feeling someone else’s skin against his own? 

Though they wanted to talk to each other, their walk down the steps was filled with nothing but silence as they walked down the steps and deeper into the rose garden. Ritsu didn’t mind it, though, he rather preferred basking in Mao’s presence, drinking him in, learning the new way he walked and admiring how his eyes caught the scenery. 

He paused for a moment, his cheeks warming for an unknown reason and guilt pooling in his chest when Mao’s eyes landed on him. Somehow, Ritsu felt caught in a crime. Mao’s own cheeks bloomed red to match the flowers around them. 

“I don’t have anything on my face, do I?” 

No, but thank you for the opportunity, Maakun 

Ritsu slowly reached up to run his fingers through Mao’s hair, pretending to remove a twig. How many times had he run his fingers through Mao’s hair while the other read stories to him when they were kids? It was still as soft as he remembered. Well, he supposed that might not be the case for the portion that was slicked back. 

“There,” Ritsu said, offering up a kind smile. 

Mao smiled in return, beaming like the stars themselves. “Thank you.”

An odd feeling settled in Ritsu’s chest then. How long had they been apart? He missed the odd familiarity of them, the sheer happiness he felt in Mao’s presence, and the ease with which Mao filled his space. He was the only person Ritsu didn’t feel completely smothered by. 

“So tell me about you, Maakun. Where have you been all this time?” Ritsu words were soft, sweet, but laced with the slightest wish that Mao felt guilty for leaving him. 

Mao laughed bashfully and lightly squeezed Ritsu’s hand. “Actually… I was hoping I could hear about you first. I’m sure your story is more interesting than mine. What princely duties have you been obligated to complete?” 

And there it was, that usual childish banter they could both accomplish so easily. 

“Ah, so you think the life of a prince is interesting? Well, I suppose that’s true if you’re into piano lessons, literature, horseback riding, sword fighting, archery, loooots of sharp and pointy things.” 

“Really? We should spar some time then!” 

Ritsu looked at him in shock. “My- Have you gotten over your fears already? Exactly how much has happened since you last saw me?’

Mao laughed lightly at the playful tone Ritsu took with his words. “Too much, Ritsu. I’ve missed you.” 

Ritsu’s chest felt odd at the sound of his words. Was he someone who was worth being missed? “Wow,” he purred, giving Mao a sly look. “Since when did you become such a charmer?”

Mao’s blush matched the roses as he bashfully touched his neck with his free hand. “Sorry. Was that too out of line?”

“Not for you,” Ritsu said, letting the words hang in the air between them. 

You’re special. You’re different. You’re someone I can trust, even if it’s been years. 

They continued to walk in a comfortable silence, the music from the ballroom dancing on the wind. Ritsu let his worries fall away, his head swaying slightly with the music as their steps fell in time with the beat. In a smooth motion that took Ritsu’s breath away, Mao twirled him and brought him in close, letting his hand hover over Ritsu’s waist. 

It was an unspoken offer. 

Ritsu slowly set his hand on Mao’s shoulder, accepting it. 

What would the suitors who had begged him for one dance — for one glance — say if they could see this? Frankly, Ritsu didn’t care as he let Mao lead the way, only taking over when the music possessed him like a puppet, willing him to lead Mao through a series of intricate steps. He melted into Mao’s soft sounds of confusion that slowly dissolved into laughter. He craved the way in which Mao took the reigns back from him, letting Ritsu enjoy the music without a care in the world. 

With the roses as their witnesses, Mao and Ritsu ended their dance, cheeks flushed from the movement and the chill night air, eyes sparkling as they reflected each other’s gazes like stars. 

Each breath felt like an eternity as Ritsu felt his heartbeat in his skull.

Where did the music go? Keep playing. I don’t want this moment to end. I don’t want to wake up from this dream. Please keep playing. Please don’t let it end. He’ll leave me again.

Ritsu decided that his thoughts were best left undwelled. 

He felt like he could see the threads between him and Mao stretch even before the other let go of him. Ritsu wished he knew how to grab them and pull them back. He didn’t know how to look at Mao, so the other’s soft smile as his hand gently trailed down Ritsu’s arm remained unknown to him. His attention was only brought back to the boy in front of him when he felt a soft kiss on his hand. 

Mao was now kneeling with Ritsu’s hand held lightly in his, and Ritsu could do nothing but stare as those green eyes gazed up at him. 

Mao’s eyes caught on something behind Ritsu, though. Something that caused him to blush deeply and quickly scramble to his feet, letting go of Ritsu’s hand to smooth out his clothes. 

Ritsu frowned at him before turning to find his brother standing behind him. 

“Ah, there you are, Ritsu. Is that Isara?”

Ritsu opened his mouth to respond, but Mao was faster. 

“It’s good to see you again, Rei,” Mao said in his usual pleasant way. 

“It’s good to see you too,” Rei sighed. “If I had known you were the one who stole my brother away, i wouldn’t have bothered coming to save him.” 

Ritsu sighed to himself. Seriously, it’s not like he would need any help. Even if it wasn’t Mao. 

Rei sighed dramatically. “But alas I have come to steal my dear little brother away. The celebrations are beginning, and our father has asked for you to come join us.” 

Ritsu frowned, looking back at Mao. Some foreign and still childish part of him begged the roses to wall them in for just a few more moments. 

“You go on ahead.”

Ritsu bit his lip softly. 

Talk later? He begged to say, but he was quickly whisked back to the party by his brother who took a hold of his arm. 

Despite the feast laid out before him and the line of subjects, relatives, and random nobles waiting to give him their best wishes, Ritsu found his mind drifting back to the garden as he put on a nice farce for his birthday celebration. 

“Happy birthday, Your Highness.” 

Did Maakun leave?

“I wish you all the best this year.”

When did he learn to dance like that... he used to be so clumsy. I miss it.

“May this year be even better than your last.”

Is he still here? Will he be here for the festivities tomorrow? I want to see him again… I don’t want to wait that long again.

“I know the queen would have been proud of you.”

Ritsu looks up at the stranger as the clock tolls midnight, his memories flooding back to him amidst his fantasy. Any mention of his mother always made him uneasy, but some stranger mentioning her so close to… Ritsu bit his lip bitterly and glared the subject of his family’s kingdom down as they left the line. 

Ritsu flinched when he felt his brother’s voice at his ear. “Is it too much? I can take over from here.”

Ritsu let out a breath of annoyance at the suggestion. “I’m fine,” he muttered under his breath, bearing with the rest of the well wishes. 

The rest of the party dragged on with no opportunities to speak with Mao, but he did catch sight of him once or twice chatting with a few nobles. Ritsu smiled a little to himself, always happy to see Mao hadn’t left just yet. A soft whisper from a messenger had Ritsu standing to leave, though. He would love to know what it was like to leave a social event quietly, but that was impossible with his position. Even the musicians ceased idle music to stand and bow to him as he left the room. Ritsu tried not to scurry away under the weight of a thousand eyes. 

It took him a while to undress from the layers of fancy and suffocating clothing and into a sheer, long white robe and loose black pants, especially since he dismissed all of the servants from his room. Tonight, he wanted to be in peace. Tonight, he just wanted to be alone with his imagination as it constantly replayed his dance with Mao. If his brother hadn’t interrupted, what would have happened? Would they have continued dancing? Maybe Mao would have told him about his past? 

Ritsu sighed to himself as he walked out onto his balcony and gazed at the night sky. The moon was setting now, and the distant ocean looked like a shattered mirror, speared by the clock tower in the castle’s garden. Ritsu looked at the false moon’s face, resenting the numbers on it. 

Twenty-two more hours, huh? He thought to himself bitterly. We’ll see about that.

A soft whisper was carried up by the wind, and Ritsu frowned to himself. Odd. He’d thought he was alone. He glanced behind him into the room, but he was still very much alone. The voice came stronger this time, singing his name, and Ritsu looked down to see Mao wave at him. Ritsu smiled widely and happily leaned over the balcony so he could see Mao clearly. 

“Maakun!” He calls back, his voice full of joy. “Wait for me, okay?” he says, pulling his flowing robe around himself a little more. 

“Wait, Ritsu!”

Ritsu pauses and looks to him curiously, just in time to see that magnificent smile. 

“I’ll come to you.”

Chapter Text

Getting Mao up to Ritsu’s quarters had been interesting to say the least. After a wait that was much too long for Ritsu’s tastes, he decided to leave his chambers to look for Mao, finding him in some random hallway looking out a window at the castle’s exterior with a frown on his face. 

Ritsu giggled softly as he watched Mao, his arms crossed over his chest. “Something the matter?”

Mao’s flustered face was definitely a memory Ritsu would keep close as he looked at him. “Ah- Ritsu! I forgot how giant the castle is… I think I got lost?” 

And indeed he had, though not by much. Apparently Mao still remembered a bit of the castle’s layout from his time living with Ritsu’s family when they were younger. Now he was in Ritsu’s quarters, drinking tea on the balcony table as the night breeze sang to them, and Ritsu could hardly control his laughter as Mao spoke of his adventures with his group of friends that had dubbed themselves “Trickstar”. 

“Wait a minute,” he said between frantic giggles. “You did what to the Tenshouin estate?” 

Mao laughed as he fondly recalled the scene. Ritsu followed Mao’s lead as he leaned over the small tea table, leaning in with him and smiling as he watched Mao’s eyes light up with delight. He hung on every word like the linens on a line, his cheeks already hurting from the nonstop smiling. Was it normal for someone of his age to be so happy? Ritsu grew up thinking happiness would only ever come from the birth of children he would never have the chance to father. 

“Yeah! Oh, and that was before we even…” Mao’s cheeks darkened at the memory and he let out a nervous laugh, his hand reaching back to scratch the back of his neck. 

So he was ashamed. How cute, Ritsu thought as he tilted his head and waited for Mao to resume his story. 

Mao’s eyes caught on Ritsu’s for a heartbeat before another small chuckle pulled his gaze to the garden far below. “Well… before we stole the horses.” 

It took every second of Ritsu’s etiquette training to not spit his tea on Mao as he covered his mouth with the back of his hand and restrained his giggles until he swallowed. 

“And… trampled all over their precious white peony garden…”

Ritsu’s shoulders trembled with the sheer force of his amusement. 

“And… then ran away… through the pristine yard they’re so proud of.” 

Ritsu erupted with a fit of laughter at the thought. He could vividly imagine the face that must have been on the Tenshouin heir’s face at the sight of their precious trampled grass. He could hardly contain himself as tears began to well up from the amusement. 

“Who would have thought Maakun would become such a rebel?” he teased, his voice light with giggles. 

That seemed to make Mao laugh. “I guess I finally feel comfortable enough.” 

The words struck something foreign inside of Ritsu, resonating in some part of himself he liked to keep buried. It was only natural for Mao to feel that way, of course. The castle was suffocating, especially for Ritsu. He heard once that common children dreamed of royalty. What was there to dream about? It was suffocating; the expectations and the rules. Even if he was well within the castle walls, someone was always watching. The mask always had to be on.

Mao had been Ritsu’s freedom. Until he left, of course. And without the sun to warm him, Ritsu began to slowly wither away within the stone walls. He missed this. He missed being natural with someone in the privacy of his quarters. He missed being able to smile until his cheeks burned with the effort. He missed laughing until his sides hurt and his voice became hoarse. All these little luxuries he couldn’t even have with his family without feeling like he was ruining some sort of image or expectation they had of him. 

He was a locked box, and Mao was the perfect key. 

Ritsu watched as his own train of thought reached Mao, and a blush spread across his cheeks as his green eyes grew wide. 

“Oh- I didn’t mean- I just meant that it was hard since I was little and scared of- well- I-“

Ritsu couldn’t help the small smile that bloomed on his face with Mao’s words. Ever the people pleaser.

But Ritsu wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Oh… when exactly did he lean forward to let their lips meet in this unfamiliar dance? His lips are so warm Ritsu thought to himself fondly as he sighed contentedly. Oh, but since when did he want to kiss Mao? Or did Mao kiss him? Had it been mutual? Just a heat of the moment thing as they drank in the light of the moon and the stars? Either way, Ritsu didn’t hate it. He loved the warmth that flowed through him, the way that Mao’s hand slid to his shoulder and…

Shook him?

Ritsu groaned as the rug of his dreams was pulled from beneath his feet and he tumbled back to reality, the air rushing into his lungs. His eyes fluttered open to find Mao’s concerned face directly in front of his, and his own face felt warm.

“Ritsu, are you okay?” Ritsu attempts to feign a smile, his lips barely curling before he saw the knowledge click in Mao’s expression. “Do you still have those dizzy spells?” 

Fondness grew in his chest as the ghost of a thought whisked by. Had it been anyone else, they might have thought the late hour was getting to him, but this was Mao. He never fussed over his dizzy spells or told Ritsu he would stay awake if he “just showed some interest”. 

“I’m fine, thank you,” he said politely, his tone gentle as the wisps of cloud covering the moon. There wasn’t time to explain that his habit of fainting was growing more and more frequent with each passing year.

Well, now with each passing hour.

But the hours felt like years, even if Ritsu wished to keep the second hand of that cursed clock from ever ticking again. He previously thought no amount of time could fill that void those years left inside his heart, yet all Ritsu could think of now was the sheer joy he felt in Mao’s presence. 

Suddenly, Ritsu found himself staring for a little longer than he would ever allow himself to usually, but the morning was now crowning Mao’s hair with a halo of golden light. Mao seem to squirm under his gaze, his eyes flitting about their surroundings before landing on the far horizon. His eyes were like moons catching the sun’s light and setting the green grass of his irises ablaze. 

“Oh- I didn’t realize I’d kept you this long,” Mao said, his words tumbling out of his mouth in a way that made Ritsu huff a breath of amusement. 

“Nonsense. I’ll have plenty of time to sleep later.”

If Mao noticed the bitterness in Ritsu’s voice, he decided to ignore it, instead downing the rest of the tea in his cup. 

“Still… You’re the main attraction,” Mao said, standing from his seat and effectively causing Ritsu’s mood to dip. “I don’t want you to be too exhausted to enjoy your own festival.”

Someone made sure I wouldn’t enjoy it long ago, Maakun. Believe me when I say that being with you brings me more joy than any party could.

But those words lodged in his throat as he stood after Mao and followed him to the door. Respectful as ever, Mao offered him a deep bow that made his stomach feel empty. Friends shouldn’t bow to each other. 

“Good night, Ricchan… I’ll uh…”

Ritsu put on his best smile. “See you, Maakun. Don’t make yourself a stranger, alright? Come save me as you always used to.” 

It was like telling a child he could go out and play in the gardens. Mao’s smile blossomed like roses. 

“Right. Good night.” 

Was it that Mao lingered a bit longer than necessary, or did Ritsu’s mind do him the favor of freezing time for a little while longer as Mao moved away from the door, and it swung slowly shut. Ritsu stood still for a moment, worried any movement might break the dream. 

Well… hopefully he remembers how to get back to his chambers, Ritsu’s mind provided teasingly. He first laughed at the thought, it breaking him from his trance and encouraging him to pick up the remnants of their tea, but the idea that Mao could end up walking to someone else’s chambers by accident… Ritsu turned on his heel so fast that his robe billowed like a wave behind him. He swiftly opened the door to his chambers, startling when he came face-to face with someone’s chest. 

“Woah there,” Ritsu’s brother’s voice sounded, a hand landing on Ritsu’s shoulder to gently prevent their collision. 

“Anija,” Ritsu breathed, his face suddenly feeling hot with shame from an unknown source. There was no way Rei didn’t see Mao leave Ritsu’s chambers at this hour of the night. Should he say something about it or just play dumb?

“Well, that explains Isara’s presence,” Rei said offhandedly, looking over his shoulder to a subject Ritsu could not see. The reflection from a window betrayed the sight of blonde hair, though, and that told Ritsu all he needed to know. It seemed Ritsu wasn’t the only one getting visits late into the night. 

“Is there something you need?” Ritsu said, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice. This was, after all, the second person he didn’t feel the need to hide around. 

“My, is it so hard to believe that I am a concerned and responsible big brother?” The jokes ended a single annoyed glare from red eyes. Rei’s laugh was genuine, albeit somewhat nervous. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright…” 

An odd warmth sparked painfully and warmly in Ritsu’s chest. The bitter taste of regret settled on his tongue. He didn’t want to look at his brother’s stupid bittersweet smile. 

“Ritsu.” 

A slow exhale from his nose gave him the courage to look at his brother’s expression once more. 

“Don’t get that boy’s hopes up.”

Anger splintered from his belly up to his throat. “Do you seriously have any grounds when you-“

“I’ve already ended things.” Ritsu’s expression of frustrated disbelief prompted further explanation. “Not every ending has to result in anger, Ritsu,” he said in a tone that suggested life isn’t like romance novels. “Kaoru has known we would’t last for a while now. I’m the heir, after all. My future was decided long before I was aware of it.” His expression relaxed as he regarded his little brother, and Ritsu found himself needing to look away again. “I’m just sorry that you couldn’t have your freedom… you could have decided your own life-“

“Goodnight,” Ritsu said. He had intended for his voice to come out level and polite, but no level of control could stop the word from coming out clipped and angered.

Rei took a breath as his hand fell away from his brother’s shoulder. his fingertips lightly grazing his arm. Ritsu kept his gaze cold. He waited for Rei to step away from the doorway, not quite cruel enough to slam the door in his brother’s face. 

Rei lingered for a moment longer. “Say, Ritsu, remember when we were little and you would ask me to tuck you in-“ 

The door shut with a loud clank. 

He left his whining brother in the hall as he walked back to the balcony and let himself linger a while longer. 

Ritsu was thankful for the cool breeze that danced through the castle grounds throughout the festivities the following day. Rei’s words had rung through his mind all night, making any form of rest nearly impossible aside from his routine moments of unconsciousness. They had simmered in his chest, now making him dread any sort of interaction from Mao. 

“Come save me as you always used to~!” Seriously, what was I thinking. Am I some sort of love crazed courtier desperate for someone’s attention? 

Ritsu bitterly sipped at the spiced tea that was the only thing keeping his eyes open. 

Luckily, avoiding Mao had been a relatively easy task since Ritsu’s attention was demanded at several performances for his amusement. Unfortunately, most of the performers left the stage to replace their smiles with worried expressions, fearing the distracted prince must not have enjoyed their display. 

The day passed him in a blur, the sands slipping past his fingers faster the harder he wished to push back against time. Performances melted into luncheon which pushed him right into the throne room where noble families put on their best smiles, but Ritsu could practically smell the disappointment radiating off of them. Two sons of the royal family with no claimed hands and a room full of prospects. But if they knew Rei and Ritsu would never wake again, would they still want so desperately to be with them?

Probably… corrupt pigs. Ritsu thought bitterly before sighing through his nose. That thought was probably a little far. 

Ritsu kept his eyes on the tile where everyone bowed low, trying to make it seem like he was paying attention while his mind wandered back to Mao. He’d avoided his attention the entire day, but now his mind regretted the decision, wanting desperately to see him at least once before the end of the day. 

He wasn’t expecting his stomach’s attempt to spectacularly leap out of him at the sight of messy dark hair and the familiar face of Mao Isara smiling at Ritsu from a deep bow. Ritsu’s mind refused to listen to the words that came out of Mao’s mouth no matter how hard he tried to pay attention. His hand flinched with the urge to physically grasp on the strings that held them together.

Last night, everything seemed so far away, but now Ritsu found his legs dangling right over a precipice with gravity cruelly forcing him down no matter how hard he fought to pull himself up. 

He wanted to silence the part of himself that begged; Don’t go. If you go the day ends. If you go…. Ritsu bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself in control despite his fears. He longed to go back to simpler days when he would never have to face anything alone. Would this all have been easier if Mao had never left? Ritsu thought so.

But his brother was right; that was a selfish wish that would only make Ritsu a burden to others. 

Ritsu was hyperaware of how heavy he felt on his throne, and how his brother’s eyes tried to pry open the walls around his heart.

When all the guests had cleared out of the throne room, Ritsu felt dizzy. The sun was already casting golden light among the treetops, and he knew that if it slept, he might never see it again. How had the day disappeared from him so quickly?

He had been following his brother’s lead back to their chambers a few paces behind when he caught sight of a hand waving to him from behind a curtain. Common sense willed Ritsu to ignore it, but he was quite awful at following advice, even if he was the one administering it. Hesitantly, he slipped into the space between the curtain and the wall. 

The light from the falling sun turned Mao’s hair into a crown of fire, and his eyes were but drops of molten gold on fine emeralds. 

It took Ritsu a few heartbeats to remember breathing was quite possibly a necessary action. 

“Sorry to pull you aside like this,” Mao said, the familiarity of his nervous tone putting Ritsu at ease. “They started saying we needed to leave the castle grounds, and, well… I didn’t think last night would be my last opportunity to see you. I wanted to say a proper goodbye.” 

The corners of Ritsu’s mouth curled upward with amusement. “Well- I know that this isn’t exactly proper, either, but that’s a different kind of-“ Mao cleared his throat to stop that strand of thought. “Anyway… I submitted a request to stay a few more days, but I suppose your father has been too busy to keep up with those.”

Not to mention the fact that nearly every family wished to stay longer in the delusion that their child might woo one of the princes. 

Still… the idea Mao wanted to stay was enough. 

Ritsu wasn’t aware of what he was doing until he was reminded of his childhood once more with the warmth of Mao’s shoulder on his cheek and the way he would pat Ritsu’s back three times at the beginning of every hug. 

Lingering a second too long would mean furthering the cracks that were already hard enough to hide. 

Ritsu tore himself from Mao with a step back, his arms falling away from the other. 

“Thank you for coming, Maakun,” he managed to say though his body seemed to fight against his every desire.

Ritsu didn’t think about the way Mao smiled despite his posture deflating. He would be okay. Mao would always be okay. 

“Right… I’ll see you again, okay, Ritsu?” His smile was bright. “Don’t forget about me this time, alright?”

How could I? “Goodbye,” Ritsu said, bowing low with the cover of the curtain before quickly escaping to the crumbling ruin that served as the once sanctuary of his mind. 

Ritsu’s legs guided him to his brother’s door. No amount of thinking would be able to tell him why. 

The sight of Rei was enough for the cracks to spread, shattering him entirely. It wasn’t fair. Ritsu clung to his brother’s shirt as he was pulled into his chest, his entire body heaving as six years worth of emotions tried to escape him all at once. For sixteen years, Ritsu had done everything to not be a burden for his brother, but now the thought of being alone scared him more than anything else. 

Ritsu couldn’t comprehend the sounds coming from his throat as his own, and he couldn’t process his brother’s words that came in a gentle voice as lips and tears kissed the crown of his head. He didn’t protest as he was carried like a child to bed, and as the sun died, he felt his brother’s head fall on his abdomen just before his final tether to reality snapped, and he tumbled down into the darkness.

Mao Isara’s cheeks hurt as he glanced back to the castle once more. When was the last time he smiled this much?

“Isara,” he startled upon seeing who was in the barouche to pick him up. “Were you able to see him?” Hokuto asked as Mao let out an amused breath and climbed in. 

Makoto laughed a little as he helped Mao up. “I think his face says it all,” he said, his tone teasing. 

Mao’s blush made Subaru join in on the laughter. “Yeah, really.” 

Mao cleared his throat. “I was, thank you,” he said curtly, deciding to ignore Subaru and Makoto’s comments. “But what’s with all of this?” he asked as Hokuto encouraged the horses to move them forward by loosening the reins. 

“Well, we had to have some way of getting to the docks,” Makoto said.

“Yeah, we can’t all lounge around in fancy castles talking to our childhood friends all day. Some of us have a job to do!” Subaru said, nudging Mao’s arm lightly and causing him to laugh softly. 

Chapter Text

His mind was mist through a forest. He was a child, cowering behind his big brother to avoid the thorns of nightmares. He was lost, his voice quivering in fear as he searched for his brother again. He was falling, not quite down, not quite anywhere. He was crying as all the memories and loneliness returned to him at full force.

Why are you crying?

“It’s dark.”

Are you scared of the dark?

“I’m not.” The words tumbled out of his lips out of habit, clipped like a bird’s wings.

So why are you crying?

“I’m alone. I don’t know where I am.”

But I’m here. And you’re with me!

The boy slowly opened his eyes. The forest was gone, replaced by a familiar garden of manicured grass and rosebuds. His brother wasn’t there, but he wasn’t alone.

“What’s your name?”

“Ritsu,” the boy said, unable to tell whether he said that because he wanted to or because he was meant to.

Ritsu’s mind told him what the other would say seconds before it left his lips. “It’s nice to meet you, Ritsu. I’m Mao.”

He smiled knowingly and watched the other look around, the fear that had been restricting his breath now gone. Mao didn’t seem to notice as he glanced around the lush greenery, dappled in sunlight by the leaves around them.

“I guess this place does seem quite scary, huh? But you’re not alone now!” Mao said cheerily. “I know how to take us back to the palace. That’s where you live, right?”

Ritsu gave a slow nod in response.

“Great! I live there too, so I know how to get there. These gardens can be pretty confusing, huh? I’ve heard that Prince Rei is pretty good at navigating them, though.”

Ritsu knew Mao was just trying to assure him through light conversation, but he would rather not have his shortcomings compared to his brother’s achievements by someone he just met while crying. Besides, it was his brother who was supposed to walk with him today, but he bailed again to practice sword fighting with that knight’s — Sir Hakaze’s — son. Ritsu was tired of getting left behind.

Mao let out a guilty laugh. “My mom says I have a bad sense of direction a lot, but I’m going to try my best, so just leave it to me, okay?”

Ritsu glanced down at their now intertwined hands, savoring the warmth of Mao’s hand against his own that had been chilled with tears. He let the other boy support him as he got to his feet, stumbling forward ever so slightly, but the other was fast to tug his arm firmly once more and right him again.

“Careful. The ground is uneven here, so watch your step, okay?”

Ritsu nodded once.

He stayed close to his new savior, admiring the rosebuds and the wild yet contained buzz of Mao’s nature. It fascinated him.

Soon enough, the scenery began to grow familiar for Ritsu, but he stayed silent, having already grown quite fond of watching the gears turn in Mao’s head as he weighed their options in the small yet vast labyrinth that held them. Especially if his thoughts ended with him throwing a confident grin over his shoulder at Ritsu and saying Alright, let’s try this way!

He didn’t mind the extra turns they took before the mid-autumn wind swept through their hair and the smell of roses was replaced with cooking meat and herbs that made both their mouths water.

The next instant, Ritsu was in his quarters with older and more familiar versions of himself and Mao. The herbs were no longer roasting, but instead they steamed into pleasant aromas that filled the air between them.

Only there was no longer a table, and the smell of freshly brewed tea fell away as music wafted into the air. Ritsu found himself dancing again, his smile too large for him to contain, ad his laughter too intense to hide. He was letting Mao peel away the walls he had fought so hard to build layer by layer. Ritsu slowly rested his head on Mao’s shoulder, giving up on the leading for now as he gazed at the tapestries in his room. One look, and they were transported elsewhere.

As much as Ritsu tried to enjoy the moment playing out in front of him, his wretched conscious always had to come up with some suggestion for his subconscious to obey without a second thought.

“Maakun, why did you leave?” Ritsu asked, his voice incredibly quiet, as if some part of him was, thankfully, still trying to enjoy the moment.

He wasn’t expecting Mao to look him in the eye with that pitied expression.

“Ricchan,” he murmured, “I’m not… my family…”

Ritsu held his breath as he held onto every word.

Mao reached up to rub his eyes before covering them entirely with an arm draped across his brow. Ritsu leaned closer, wanting Mao to know that he would accept any answer as long as it stopped his questions.

“Ugh, it’s bright,” was all Mao said, and one blink had Ritsu stumbling into a forest full of golden leaves. They chimed like keys in the wind in a world that felt too bright for Ritsu to exist in.

“Ugh… way too bright…” Ritsu breathed in agreement as he began to walk through the array of trees.

While bright, the new environment was nothing short of magnificent. The grass was so long it rippled like waves on the ocean Ritsu had always longed to explore.

Well, there was no time like the present.

With a childish grin, the lonely prince ran through the trees until he reached a field that had enough open space for him to move without worrying about running into any branches. Panting with cheeks red from delight, Ritsu spread his arms out and began to spin, letting the air caress him and slip under the loose bits of his clothes. With a laugh, he let himself fall to the floor, surrounded by blades of green soft as fur. He opened his eyes to a sky painted blue and brushed with light clouds here and there.

But where am I? Ritsu’s thoughts seemed to come from the trees themselves as he sat up, letting his fingertips tangle themselves into the cool grass. His fingers curled into fists, ripping a few blades off of their roots as the wind rose to cover the once clear skies in deep grey clouds. The air pressure dropped with his stomach as the panic settled in.

Dreaming. He was dreaming. He felt as if he should have woken long ago. He could vaguely feel his body, but it was molten iron; impossible to move and hesitantly spreading away from him, obeying the orders of that cursed song.

He let his eyes close hard enough to encourage tears. He pinched both cheeks hard enough for them to throb with each frantic pulse of his heart.

Oniichan where did you go? The leaves rustled as his chest heaved with the effort of breathing.

Don’t rely on him came his other voice from the grass as it dipped in the wind to create ripples in the sea of green. But he couldn’t help it as his eyes scanned lines of trees frantically, mistaking each one for his brother’s tall figure until disappointment increased the weight in his chest. He felt so horribly small as the field seemed to grow around him like a beast opening its jaws, the forest forming rows upon rows of jagged teeth.

His tear-filled eyes watched as branches of lightning began to descend, bracing himself for the noise, but just as struck, the scene changed entirely.

Ritsu felt like he was watching the world from a window, gazing down at vibrant ocean as he leaned across a wooden rail. His suddenly exposed forehead was being kissed by a salty wind that had the faintest scent of cedar.

“Did you not get enough sleep last night, Isara-kun?” a voice echoed softly in the back of his mind. Ritsu felt himself fall back into the forest, the sky now cloudy with confusion.

Isara-kun? As in Maakun? the sky wondered as the winds gently swept the clouds away and welcomed the sun.

Mao Isara jolted out of a field of green and back to the ship, vaguely aware that someone might have been calling his name. A pair of arms leaned against the railing beside him. He followed them up to Makoto’s gaze.

“Oh, sorry, Makoto,” Mao said, giving his friend a smile. “Did you say something?”

His glasses glinted with the reflection of the still rising sun as he tilted his head back with an airy laugh. “I guess you really didn’t sleep last night, huh?” he asked, his voice tangled with small giggles.

Mao didn’t understand why, but his cheeks grew warm with shame. “I guess not,” he said, a nervous laugh escaping him. “I… I had a lot of dreams I guess.”

“Really? What of?” Makoto asked, sounding genuinely curious. Mao couldn’t help the small smile that formed on his lips. He had forgotten that dreams and such were a great interest to Makoto.

Mao glanced around them to make sure the coast was clear. Of the three other Trickstar members, he thought Makoto might be the least likely to tease him. Hokuto was also likely to not give him too much trouble, but he would also be the first one to tell Subaru.

“Well… I mentioned my childhood friend to all of you earlier, right?”

Makoto nodded. “Yes. That’s why we all agreed to drop you off at that caste without doing a job.” Makoto said as if explaining to some invisible audience. Mao then watched as his eyes glinted with realization from behind his spectacles. “Oh! Is that who you were having a dream about?”

Mao nodded and began to laugh nervously as Makoto gave him a look. “But it was just a memory? Or memories I think?” Mao sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t really remember much about it… but I don’t think it let me sleep very well,” Mao let out a defeated sigh.

“Do you remember how you felt?”

Mao thought for a moment, allowing the waters that flowed past them to stimulate his memory. “I suppose… it was a little distressing in the beginning, but I think it was okay after a while?”

Makoto nodded. “Well, I guess I won’t be able to get any more details out of you,” he said, giving Mao a sly smile after Mao shot him a look. “But if I were to guess, you probably just had that dream because it was your first time seeing your childhood friend in a while, right? Dreams are pretty complex, but I believe that sometimes the mind needs to find its way back to memories, and dreams are helpful guides. Maybe you’re just finding your childhood memories again?” he suggested.

Despite his feeling that something else was amiss, Mao’s shoulders relaxed a little as he gave Makoto a grateful smile. “Yeah, that’s probably it. Thank you, Makoto.”

Makoto nodded, returning the smile. “Of course. We’re all friends, aren’t we?”

Mao sighed, dramatically shaking his head. “Unfortunately, I don’t think everyone would have given me such great advice.”

“Who said I can’t give good advice?”

Mao startled and looked at Subaru who was now standing on the other side of him.

“Ah, Subaru, we were just talking about uh…” Mao looked at Makoto for help, hoping he would answer fast enough to not make it seem suspicious.

“Just dreams. Isara-kun had a bit of a weird one, and he was hoping I could give him some suggestions about what it could have meant.”

“Oh? What sort of weird dream? Was it about that massive crush you have on that fancy prince? You know, since you wouldn’t let us do our job on him and we instead had to go to the smaller lords in the area? Even if we weren’t going to do the job, I wouldn’t have minded going to a party, you know?” Subaru said, speaking so fast that it would have made anyone who just met him dizzy. Mao was all too used to Subaru’s pattern of speech by now, though.

His words themselves unfortunately brought a violent heat to Mao’s cheeks.

“I don’t have a crush on him,” he protested, not knowing what he liked less; the suggestion that he was a girl or the one of him being in love with his childhood friend[1].

“Right.” Subaru said blandly, causing Makoto to clutch his stomach as he tried to hold back giggles.

“What are you three doing? Shouldn’t we be working on plans for our next job?”

Mao inwardly thanked Hokuto for his timely interruption.

“But it’s fine to take a short break, right?” Subaru drawled, leaning his arm on Hokuto’s shoulder. He then spread his arms out wide towards the endless sapphire expanse before them. “There’s nothing we can really do on this giant boat, right? So let’s relax.”

Makoto nodded thoughtfully. “Right. Distribution is the easiest phase, after all.”

Noticing the hesitation in Hokuto’s expression, Mao elected to speak up. “I think it would be a good idea. Things are getting pretty bad at home, so we should figure out where we’re going next as soon as we can.”

Hokuto gave Mao a grateful smile while Subaru stuck his tongue out, causing Mao to laugh softly and shake his head.

“Exactly. So, do we want to travel by land this time?”

As Trickstar planned the next phase of their plan with the sea breeze to cheer them on, Mao’s mind continued to wander back to the castle. He hadn’t seen Ritsu in years, but it was impossible to not recognize that smug grin he sometimes wore when he thought no one was looking. Mao smiled a little to himself as he recalled Ritsu’s expression as he began to recognize Mao. He swayed a little in his seat as he imagined dancing with his old friend again.

They’d learned to dance together, with Ritsu’s governess as a teacher. With how protective Ritsu’s dad always was, it had been impossible to bring in a dance partner, so Mao had been made to substitute for the role of the follower. They would spend nights together, teaching each other what they had learned and switching their roles.

In fact, Mao’s dancing experience had already proven quite useful to his job in Trickstar, being able to sweep poor young maidens off their feet while the others fulfilled their roles.

Speaking of which, the meeting had gotten unusually quiet…

Mao’s eyes glanced up from the table, and he met the gazes of everyone else. His face bloomed a violent red as he noticed their mischievous grins.

“Having a nice daydream, Isara?” Hokuto teased.

“I- well- I-“ Mao began, cursing his mouth for not being able to form proper sentences.

Subaru and Makoto shared an interaction that Mao was too frazzled to hear, but it set them both into a fit of laughter, making Mao’s cheeks somehow warmer.

“I was just thinking about the next phase of our plan,” he said, his voice a little harsher than intended. “Traveling by land might be ideal if only to avoid large crowds, but all the towns surrounding our home have already heard of us, right? Wouldn’t it be best to go to a place where no one has heard of us before? That way we can really do something great?”

The laughter paused as Hokuto nodded. “That’s a good idea. Maybe we should go to the port of a different town. It’s unlikely news of us has spread too far overseas. After all, nobody knew of us in the Sakuma kingdom. We might get lucky again.”

Mao nodded and leaned over their table to spot out a few different points on the map, underlining them as possibilities as they planned out the resources that would be necessary for their operation.

Chapter Text

How long had he been lying in the grass? His body felt light, intangible. The passage of time was clearly insignificant in this world of dreams since the sun rose and set with a simple thought. Ritsu Sakuma enjoyed having the sun sit delicately in a frame of dawn with just enough light to catch the honey gold of the tree leaves and turn the dew into jewels. He was somewhat accustomed to the loneliness now, but the sky still darkened occasionally if he thought of the unusual coldness of his new setting for too long.

He found that his setting sometimes changed without his intention, too. Before, it had been a ship where he was occasionally surrounded by peers who looked to him with smiles. Ritsu could never remember their names. Recently, though, he found himself flashing into a barn or busy city streets.

These flashes never lasted a long time, and Ritsu was usually brought back to this realm when someone called to him or touched him. They would usually use Mao’s name, but Ritsu doubted that meant much. The loneliness was just getting to him, and his mind must subconsciously be wandering back to his childhood and birthday night — when he felt more secure.

Sometimes Ritsu would wander the woods and find himself stumbling into a memory of his childhood; the time he first learned to ride a horse, or the time he was riding behind his brother and wandered off to examine the birds that had just flown from the north back home. He really got a scolding then. From his brother first, then from his father.

The memories he hated the most, though, were those of his mother; her smile as she ran her fingers through his hair to comfort him, her voice that sang lullabies and spun curses, and that awful cough that scraped against the walls of his home.

Ritsu shuddered at the memory and tried to force those thoughts away as quickly as he could to not inspire another dream, his chest aching with emotion.

Suddenly, the forest went silent, the wind freezing in place. Ritsu let his eyes scan his surroundings cautiously, faintly feeling his heart beat in his ears. He cursed his active imagination for straying from him and summoning something unknown, but the figure he saw moving through the trees did not belong to his mother.

Ritsu began to move before his mind even fully comprehended who was walking through the forest. Half a thought had him running towards the oblivious figure.

“Maakun!” he called, his voice feeling far away as he finally reached Mao, his hand landing on Mao’s shoulder as a twig snapped underfoot, and they were thrust back into a different time.

“Who is this, Ritsu?”

“My friend, he saved me.”

“Ricchan~ it’s time to wake up. Your parents will get mad if you miss your lessons, you know~”

Ritsu winced at the light that flooded his vision when he opened his eyes. With a soft groan, he rolled over, shoving his face into his friend’s abdomen, his lips curling into a small smile when the action caused the other to laugh.

A gentle hand pushed him back onto his back, his head now cradled on Mao Isara’s thighs once more. Ritsu made a show of stretching dramatically, his arm coming to cover his brow so he could peek his eyes at the gentle ones looking down at him.

“Come on, Ricchan,” Mao urged once more, still smiling. He continued on, attempting to entice Ritsu with how much fun it would be, but Mao had only known this life for a few months — he didn’t yet fully understand the soul-crushing boredom Ritsu would have to endure should he make an appearance to one of his lessons.

“Let’s just go on an adventure, Maakun,” Ritsu said, cutting off Mao’s words with his tempting whisper, eyes shining as he waited for Mao’s response.

Neither of them fully understood how vastly consequences differed for both of them at that point. How could we? We were treated as kids and adults at the same time — too young to explain things to and old enough to be expected to know everything.

The memory played out as it should; he and his partner in crime made like spies, tip-toeing around the castle, discovering hallways that had long since gone into disrepair. They charted their own maps, which were really just a collection of squiggles on parchment that overlayed one on top of the other. Ritsu didn’t need a map, though. It was impossible for him to truly get lost with Mao around, and his friend didn’t seem to have a care in the world, instead being all too happy in his attempts at finding their way again.

No matter where they were, though, one misstep on Ritsu’s part would get both the sheltered prince and the “overstepping” friend in trouble. They stumbled into a royal guard practice session by accident. The only thing they could think of was returning back to Ritsu’s quarters, but how fast they ran was of no issue when word of their misdeeds were sent right to Ritsu’s parents.

Did you hear? Prince Ritsu is being led astray by that friend of his. He’d never skip his lessons before. He was diligent and studious as Prince Rei.

If you ask me, the King and Queen should remove that commoner, and soon. The prince has no need for that sort of influence.

At that moment, Ritsu had been able to hold his head high amidst the servant’s whispers. He clutched Mao tighter than ever as they slept in a bed much too big for the both of them. The brambles of his memory always blocked out what happened next, but dreams had a way of ignoring such things.

Ritsu saw the door open through his drowsy eyes, and he held his breath at the sound of his mother’s soft steps scraping against the floor as she approached his bed, graceful as a dancer. Ritsu knew she should have been in bed, though. The memory of her hacking cough like rocks in a gourd sent chills through his spine. He felt her palm on his forehead, light as mist as she brushed his hair away so she could plant a loving kiss on his brow. The sensation brought an involuntary smile Ritsu hated himself for. After everything, she was still his mother, and he had only been a child.

She began to whisper, too soft for Ritsu to hear, but the syllables made him recoil, hands gripping Mao’s shirt and causing him to stir. Ritsu struggled to keep his breathing even, his own thoughts roaring in his ears as his mind’s voice begged his mother to stop speaking.

He wished the bed would take him someplace else.

“I’m sorry, my little moon.” The name that had filled Ritsu’s childhood memories with fondness churned his stomach with more emotions than he knew what to do with. Coughs rattled her voice.

I don’t want to be here. I’m dreaming, right? Show me something else.

“That one may go with you, but there is no time. I don’t wish to leave you, but we will be together soon.”

Let me go somewhere else. Please take me somewhere else .

“A few years is all I can grant you…”

“We’ve been meeting like this a lot, haven’t we?”

Ritsu is startled by the sudden change in the voice he was listening to. Suddenly the world was warmer, and he could feel the ice under his skin evaporating away as he looked up at a bright smile. Arms were wrapped loosely around him, as if they had been holding him upright. Ritsu’s surprise was quickly replaced by amusement when he saw a blush slowly stain the other’s cheeks, replacing his teasing smile and causing his green eyes to look even more beautiful.

“I’m sorry — I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.” Mao’s arms slowly peeled away from him.

Oh, it was always so delicious when Mao grew so nervous Ritsu could hear his heartbeat in his voice.

“Come out like what?” Ritsu asked, a false innocence in his voice.

Mao laughed nervously and louder than necessary.

“Wow, the you in my dreams is just as mischievous as I remember.”

Ritsu blinked once. Twice.

He could feel the theories he had been ignoring come flooding back to him all at once, little pieces attempting to fill in the gaps in logic.

“Maakun… you’re dreaming right now?”

Suddenly the ground beneath them felt too fragile to keep them both standing. Mao’s eyes furrowed in concentration as the realization seemed to hit him.

No.

“I guess I am?” Ritsu could feel Mao slipping away now. “I don’t remember falling ,asleep… Oh! The mission!”

“Wait!” Ritsu’s desperate cry echoed to nothingness as his hands reached for Mao’s shoulders and failed to find contact. He slipped through the roots and soil like water, and found himself lying in that soft green grass again.

Ritsu’s body thrashed for a moment with the sheer will of his frustration as he huffed out a breath. The heels of his palms dug themselves into his shut eyes. He had to be more careful next time.

But this means…

The wind slipped its fingers through his hair as Ritsu took a breath to calm himself. Right. Mao had realized he was dreaming. Mao had said he was asleep. Ritsu was unable to control him and keep him close in this realm.

Ritsu listed out these realities in his head, revising the list over again in his head. The repetition soothed him, aligning the pieces of his doubts into a semi-complete puzzle. The image was still unclear, but it was enough to ease his worries.

Letting out another breath, Ritsu slowly peeled his hands away from his eyes and opened them to the night sky above him, the moon greeting his gaze and reflecting his thoughts. If Mao was something he couldn’t summon or maintain in this realm, he had to be acting of his own will, meaning…

Ritsu’s chest ached with hope, and he gripped his shirt with his hand to steady his eager heart. No, he had to think clearly. He would love it if the world was kind enough to him to appease his dreams, but his past experiences have taught him otherwise. If Mao wasn’t in his dreams, but rather dreaming alongside him, then that meant Ritsu wasn’t alone…

Ritsu stood and began to slowly pace around his field of dreams, the blades of grass parting around him like mist at dawn, the pieces of his plan slowly falling into place.

“Isara-kun?”

Mao Isara was quickly pulled out of his own thoughts by Makoto’s voice. They were now approaching their next target, staying with a kind family along the way. Thanks to his suggestion, their preparations were taking a lot longer than usual, interviewing families as if they were scholars studying local traditions. A lot of families turned them away after their first few questions, but few decided to give them shelter for a night or sometimes a few days at a time, allowing them to gather information about the surrounding areas.

Mao made sure to mark each home with an obnoxious x on their map in secret along with a number, annotating the surname of each family in a notebook in a code that only the four of them knew.

“Yes?” Mao asked, trying his best to make it seem that his mind absolutely hadn’t been on other things.

A cover up so simple could never fool his friends, though. Well, not Makoto, at least. Subaru and Hokuto were sure to notice when Mao was feeling off, but they would rather use “creative” distractions to get Mao’s mind off of the issue.

“You seem distracted. Is something bothering you about our mission?”

“No,” Mao responded quickly to assure him. “I feel a little less nervous with this one, actually.”

Makoto let out a soft laugh at that. “That’s because those other two know we should be cautious this time.”

Mao had to laugh. He hadn’t intended to jab at them, but what Makoto said did ring true. He felt the air around them change when Makoto’s laughter died, and his shoulders drooped lower than usual as his eyes trained on the ground.

“But… how long can we keep going like this? It was so hard to go back home this time… the posters were everywhere.”

Mao frowned to himself, recalling their experience from just two days ago of taking backroads, their faces obscured by long hoods and mud caked in their hair in case the wind blew them back. They had effectively reduced themselves to shadows in a place that once welcomed them with bonfires and dances.

“I don’t know,” Mao admitted carefully, selecting the tone of each syllable to sound pensive instead of worried. “I doubt we can do much more… it’s looking a lot better over there, after all, but we made the mistake of targeting too close in the beginning… I think it might be best to just lay low after this mission ends. Maybe wait a few years for them to forget about it…” Mao trailed off as his words guided him to other thoughts.

“Uh-oh. I’m losing you again.”

Mao startled and blushed in embarrassment, trying to continue on as if nothing happened. “I mean, they can’t keep the pressure in that area forever. Eventually they’ll think our threat is gone and leave. Besides, we’ve made plenty over the years to keep our home supported. Even if there was an emergency, I doubt we would be needed for a year at least.”

Makoto let out a small sigh as he considered Mao’s words. “You’re right, but the more we can earn, the better. You came to our village when you were a lot younger, so you might not remember, but Hidaka-kun and Akehoshi-kun still think about it just like I do. When that sickness came...”

Makoto trailed off, but Mao knew the story well by this point. He had grown up in the Sakuma kingdom, but after the falling out with his family and the Sakuma’s, his mother had fled with him to his now home where he met the other members of Trickstar. It was still recovering when Mao arrived, but he heard the stories of a mysterious illness that suddenly spread through that kingdom, mysteriously targeting only the poorer villages. When asking the capital doctors for aid, their requests were ignored, and the village was left for dead. Mao had only been nine, but the injustice of the story rattled him to his core. He met Hokuto one day while practicing his skills with a bow in secret.

“You there! New kid! You look my age. Do you want to rid this world of the evil people who hurt our village?”

Mao smiled fondly at the memory. Trickstar had plenty of motivations, but it was Mao who brought them a method based on an old game he and Ritsu would play. The premise was that if those with plenty wouldn’t aid those with nothing, Trickstar would make them.

Makoto gave him a soft look. “Are you still struggling with your sleep, Isara-kun? You’ve been a lot more distracted than usual.” Mao couldn’t meet his gaze as he searched for what to say in response, but Makoto filled the silence quickly. “Well, I guess this is the new normal. What I mean to say is that you’ve been more distracted since you saw your princess in a tower.” Makoto’s voice floated with amusement, a smug grin plastered on his face when Mao turned to him with a deep blush on his cheeks.

“He’s not-“ Mao took a moment to breathe. It wouldn’t do any good to get flustered.

Makoto laughed so hard he had to clutch his stomach. Mao tried to relax his sour look as Makoto’s laughter slowly died down.

“Sorry, sorry,” he says, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Are you still having those dreams?”

“I am,” Mao admits hesitantly, “only… I don’t know if these are memories anymore.” Mao chose his words carefully, not quite sure of how to describe his dreams. When Makoto didn’t press him, but Mao continued slowly. “I just… last night he said something to me.” His brows furrowed as he tried to drag the memory from the depths of his mind. “He said… he asked if I was dreaming… then it all felt so real.” Mao held one hand in the other, pressing his thumb into his palm. “I could feel him there. And now… the more I think about it, the more I realize that they haven’t been just memories.” The silence dove him headfirst into his nerves, and he looked to Makoto with a flustered smile. “That’s not normal, right? Maybe I’m just not remembering them right…”

He watches Makoto think for a while, his forefinger curled under his lower lip as his eyes trained on a point on the floor. “No, it is possible, just not common. I read a few texts a long while ago about scholars who studied how to share dreams to investigate long distance and instant communication. As far as I know, there was only one case that was successful. Both subjects were able to consistently dream with one another and remember the same scenarios.” Makoto furrowed his eyebrows. “But there was an extensive ceremony that was done to every test subject, and the results weren’t always successful.”

Mao thought back to that night with Ritsu in his room. The gentle scent of the herbal tea and the moonlight that caught on Ritsu’s dark hair, crowning him in silver, brought a warm feeling to his chest. Mao frowned as he thought about the tea. It was the same one he and Ritsu would drink when they were kids. Surely it wasn’t spiked with some odd ingredient. After all, Ritsu wouldn’t have known he was going to show up that night. It had been years since they last saw each other.

“It couldn’t have been because of a tea, right?”

Makoto laughs and shakes his head. “No. Unless there is another way of performing it. From what I know, it requires a lot of different herbs to be smoked.”

Mao’s mind flashed to Ritsu’s room when they were younger, how his room was often in a white haze of different herbs burned in braziers, and how he and Ritsu would come up with all sorts of ways to escape the smell.

“There were also a few chants associated with the ritual… I think it was one special chant each day for a total of nine nights.”

Mao laughed lightly. “Definitely not, then… maybe it’s just a coincidence,” his voice came out more doubtful than he had intended as he forces a smile.

Makoto shrugged. “Scholars could be wrong. Especially when it comes to metaphysical things. Maybe there are several ways to reach the same end.” He offers Mao a smile of assurance that quickly twisted into a smug grin. “Or maybe you just forgot how happy he makes you and now you can’t help but imagine he’s with you all the time.”

“Makoto!” Mao says in a quick panic, his cheeks immediately heating up.

Makoto giggles in delight before smiling fondly at Mao. “We like seeing you this way, you know. It’s rare. You’ve been so serious lately. Especially since it’s gotten more dangerous lately…” Makoto trails off before taking in a breath to force himself away from the subject. “What I’m trying to say is that sometimes it feels like we need to drag you out of your head to have fun. It’s nice to see you so happy again. We’ve missed your smile.”

But Mao wasn’t looking at him, only in his direction.

“Isara… kun…?” Makoto asks hesitantly, slowly approaching his friend as the pen in Mao’s hand scratched against the paper in his notebook.

When Mao doesn’t answer, Makoto’s hand finds itself gently resting on the wrist of Mao’s writing hand.

“Isara-kun,” Makoto says again, more sure of himself this time — more worried.

Mao’s eyes widen at that, and Makoto can practically see when Mao gains awareness of his surroundings again.

“Makoto?” Mao asks, genuine confusion in his tone.

Makoto searches Mao’s expression for moment until, as if urged by some force, both of their gazes slowly drift down to the page. Makoto doesn’t think much of the single word written, but Mao’s breath is stolen away as he stares at the elegant script on the page.

Maakun?

Chapter Text

Preparations for their mission were full of moments that made Trickstar stare at Mao like he was slowly slipping into the depths of insanity. He would find himself suddenly handing his hairclip off to someone else, watching them stare at him through his curtain of bangs. He was always thankful for their coverage when he would feel his cheeks heat up with embarrassment when he realized what he was doing.

As the day grew nearer, his 'incidents,' as Hokuto called them, grew more frequent. He would be thinking about possible preparations and snap back to Subaru's cheery "Thank you!" as he watched a familiar yellow hair clip pin back the hair just over Subaru's ear. He would be taking inventory of their supplies, counting his doubts, when he would watch his hand let go of the smooth amber and pewter clip, his gaze meeting with Makoto's warm smile and gentle "I'll keep this safe." He would end meetings with Hokuto's confused expression as he looked between the hair clip in his hand and its owner. 

Their maps of the surrounding area were now riddled with "Maakun" enclosed in clouds of hearts and give and four-pointed stars. Mao was no longer allowed near their maps with ink. 

"Sally..." Subaru said, his tone hesitant.

Mao paused his task of testing the strength of their ropes when Subaru spoke. Mao noticed that Subaru didn't look up from his own task of sharpening their tools. 

"Yes?"

"Well... our mission is tomorrow... I just want to make sure you're doing okay. You've been taking the name Trickstar a little too seriously, you know?"

Mao manages a small chuckle, allowing Subaru to smile and finally look at him. 

"I'm fine, I promise," he said, mainly saying so he could believe it for himself. I'm sure it's just been a lack of sleep. I've been scouting extra routes and figuring out different strategies these past few nights, but now that we have everything set up, I should be fine."

Subaru smiled, but Mao could tell that he wasn't entirely convinced, even when Subaru threw his arms around Mao in a hug.

"As long as you're okay, Sally! We can't lose our favorite magician, after all. You're super important for our plan!"

It was Mao's job to put his court etiquette to use to play distraction. This lord had no heirs to try and woo yet, so Mao would have to rely on poetry as some sufficient distraction while the others made their move. It would be all over if he blanked again. 

"I know, Subaru," Mao said with a gentle pat on Subaru's back, hissing out a breath when Subaru squeezed him. 

Subaru let go after some chiding from Hokuto, who earned himself his own bear hug from Subaru. Laughing, Mao went back to examining their remaining supplies. 

Everything had to be perfect. 

As the sun bled into the sky, they went over the plan once more over dinner. The excitement of the following day would inevitably cause them limited sleep, so Mao prepared a pot of lavender chamomile tea with a hint of valerian root. The four shared it while exchanging stories of their childhoods. Normally, Mao would stay silent during conversations like this, preferring to enjoy the stories of early Trickstar's adventures as opposed to sharing his stories of a more extravagant lifestyle in a castle, but today he didn't mind. 

Smiling fondly into his cup, Mao told them a story of an adventure he had with Ritsu. They had snuck into the usually locked armory on this particular occasion. Mao remembered how his initial excitement after Ritsu had presented him with the key quickly soured into anxiety. 

Ritchan, you know we're not allowed in there. What if someone catches us?

It's supposed to be locked anyway, so who would know? Come on, Maakun! There must be all sorts of treasures in there...

He could hear the whispers of the memory dance through his head. Ritsu was right, though. There were so many treasures. Suits of armor caught and distorted the light coming in from barred windows, scattering it into a ghastly haze that illuminated little specks in the air. Jewels stained the room in different hues of blue, red, and green. The air was almost humming as it moved along the chains and plates of gold, silver, pewter, and platinum. The two could only stare while they drank in the fantasy turned reality. One glance at each other plasterd grins on their faces, and they each took off, rushing into and filling the room with childish joy. 

They began shouting out theories to each other from across the room as they each examined the treasures that intrigued them the most. 

These sapphires must have come from an ancient city deep in the ocean!

Look at these jewels.. they look just like mermaid tears...

These chains are so fine... maybe faeries made them!

Do you think this sword slayed a dragon?

Maybe these coins belonged to a dragon once...

And maybe this armor could withstand flames!

Maakun~! The dragon is trying to take my jewels~!

Ritchan?!

Mao could almost hear their voices now, feel the burn that came only after he had seen the sword fall from its stand and open the skin of his thigh to let beads of red slowly peek out. He could clearly see the image of Ritsu, the askew crown that was far too big for his head already obscuring his panicked expression. 

M-Maakun...? Oniichan!

Ritsu's screech of fear made Mao want to reach up and tell him that he was fine and the cut didn't hurt, but it was a lie. The pain made him too weak to even move, and the little spots of white that lined his vision quickly flooded it entirely.

Mao was brought back to the present when he noticed the horrified stares of his peers. 

"Well... that's not what I was expecting!" Subaru said, nervously attempting to lighten the mood. 

Mao's ear's turned red as the gravity of Trickstar's energy settled in. 

"W-well," Mao began, clearing his throat to clear the nerves in his system, "The story doesn't end there. Ritsu's older brother and his friend were able to hear him somehow, and they helped patch me up. I wasn't able to even look at anything sharp after that."

Mao managed to glance around at his friends, noticing the fondness that eased their expressions.

"So that's why you were so afraid of weapons when we first met," Hokuto said warmly. "You could hardly even stand to watch me make arrowheads with stones when we met."

Subaru giggled. seeming to remember a few things as well. Likely the way Mao had once shrieked when Subaru used a blade to create a fire or the time when Makoto's mother had put a knife in his hand and asked him to help peel potatoes. 

"You've come a long way since then. I can't even dream of wielding a blade like you and Subaru," Makoto said with a smile. 

Mao laughed shyly at that. It wasn't a lie. It had taken a lot of serious training, but Mao had eventually been able to get enough of a hold on his instincts to use weapons. However, he always tried to cover up the way his heart would race and his hearing would muffle when he gripped the handle of a sword or aimed an arrow. He always wore gloves when training if only so his weapon wouldn't slip from his grasp. In fact, the only reason he got good at dueling was that the faster he learned -- the better he was -- the sooner he could put down the blade. 

"You don't give yourself enough credit, Yuki. Where would be without your guidance?"

Subaru gave a hearty laugh at that. "Probably in the dungeons sleeping with the mad dogs of the Bog Lord," he said with a giggle.

Chills ran down Mao's spine as he, Makoto, and Hokuto each responded with nervous laughter. The raid of the Bog Lord's castle was something most of them would rather forget. That had been their closest call yet, and all because some lust-drunk partygoers just so happened to pick a very similar hiding place to Trickstar's supplies. They had been lucky to make it out with only minor scrapes that night. 

"Well, I really hope we never have to repeat that." Mao stifled his laughter as Hokuto began an exaggerated stretch. "Perhaps it's time we all went to bed."

"Aww... with Sally's story? What a downer," Subaru teased as he looked back at Mao, his cheeks now feeling warm with embarrassment. "How about you tell us why your childhood friend is always on your mind?"

Mao could feel warmth spread to his ears now. 

"It's not like that," came his feeble protest. He already knew that there was no way any of them were going to drop the subject that easily, so Mao made a show of standing up. "Hokuto is right. We should rest for tomorrow."

"Right~ because Hokuto said we should go to bed~" Makoto teased, leaning in close to Subaru so they could both laugh at him together. 

Mao rolled his eyes and quickly turned on his heel so he could conceal the redness of his face as he walked to his makeshift bedroom of a worn sleeping mat at the foot of a sycamore, but there were no walls or doors around them for Mao to be able to shut out their teasing. He could hear their little jests even when he closed his eyes and made an attempt at sleep. 

As with recent nights, Mao's sleep was constantly disturbed. Perhaps it was the damp scent of the forest or the sound of the night bugs that lulled Mao into a different, more whimsical forest in his dreams. The place felt familiar, but there were no tangible memories he could rifle through to find out why. He just felt oddly relaxed with the chime of tree leaves all around him and the soft, golden light of the evening sky. 

Something was coming. 

A hand on his. The fingers curled around his palm as if they were caught in time; moving through molten sands. The hand held onto his own like a lifetime, and Mao could practically feel their gentle pulse through their soft fingertips. When he looked up, the forest had been replaced with carefully polished glass and velvety curtains that kept himself and the prince across from him hidden. 

Mao had been to many parties hosted by nobility but none of the partygoers had ever looked quite as nice as his childhood friend had on this very night. The sight of him made Mao's heart race just as it had when he first caught sight of Ritsu the night before. It had taken so much of his willpower to walk up to Ritsu and speak to him. He thought that surely someone of Ritsu's status would never remember him, but to his surprise, Ritsu certainly had. 

"Sorry to pull you aside like this," Mao began when he noticed Ritsu's look of confusion. Mao could practically feel his very heart get caught in his throat. It was hard to speak when the sun ignited Ritsu's eyes like little fires. "They started saying we need to leave the castle grounds and... well..."

Mao managed to catch a glimpse of Ritsu then, the way he looked at Mao with a foreign sort of desperation. Even the drop of a sewing pin would be able to make him cry at this point with the tears that were just barely spilling over his eyelashes and turning to molten glass in the sunlight. 

"Ritsu..." Mao began slowly, but he was no longer in control of his body by that point. 

Soft tremors came from the arms Mao held as his lips softly united with the ones in front of his own. He kissed Ritsu slowly, lightly, as if the other were a ghost that would disappear if Mao was too agressive, but his arms held him tight to make sure the one in front of him was actually there. 

Wait, that wasn't how it was meant to happen. Perhaps it was the words of his friends that inspired his mind to conjure such a ridiculous scenario. In what world would he be able to do something like that with Ritsu Sakuma a damn prince? There was absolutely no way that could be allowed. Surely Ritsu had plenty of people of his own status willing to marry into the Sakuma family. He wouldn't be caught dead doing something like that- 

Something like what?

What had he been doing just a few moments ago?

Mao finally began to take in his surroundings; the feel of the grass on his legs, the smell of the wind, the hue of the sky... and Ritsu right beside him, fingers intertwined with his own. 

Maakun... I won't let you go.

Mao's eyes flew open with a gasp to greet the pale light of the rising sun. His heart still stumbled in his chest, and he could still hear the echoes of Ritsu's voice on the wind. 

The other members of Trickstar slowly began to rise as Mao wiped the evidence of their camp with expert care, leaving nothing behind for potential pursuers to trace them back to the people who ignorantly helped them along their way. 

Subaru tried to keep up their spirits throughout the day, singing songs and engaging each of them in games. To an outsider, the group would seem perfectly fine, but no number of missions could ever truly ease the anxieties that always plagued them before their big day. Mao could see the signs already; the way Makoto would mess with his sleeves, Hokuto his hair, and the way Subaru couldn't sit in silence for longer than a minute at a time. 

Even Mao found it hard to handle himself before a mission. He found himself constantly rubbing at the back of his neck or biting at the tips of his fingers to console himself. What did that dream mean? Why had Ritsu's words rung so clear in his mind? And why did he feel that a similar dream had happened before and on multiple occasions? He should talk this over with Makoto, but he didn't want to burden him so close to their mission and-

"Sally~" 

Mao startled from his thoughts at Subaru's words, which only made the other laugh lightly and place his hands on Mao's shoulders. 

"Be safe, alright? If anything even starts to feel off, we'll be over by the western wall," Subaru said with a rare sincerity before his usual mask came up once more. "But that won't happen! You're our Sally, after all."

"Yes, but do be careful, Isara," Hokuto said, Makoto nodding his agreement behind him. 

Mao took in a deep breath before giving them a smile full of faux confidence. If he just played the part, he could convince himself everything would be fine. Mao straightened out his dress clothes, rolling his shoulders. 

"I'll be alright. Just give me the signal whenever you guys are ready," he said before turning on his heel and climbing up the steps of the fine castle ahead of them. 

Sneaking in had been easy as it always was. So long as one looked the part, they could enter any fine party, and Mao had spent the majority of his childhood years learning to play the part. The hard part was getting through the party despite the serpent of anxiety coiling in his belly and constricting his throat more with each passing minute. Mao managed to make it through the majority of the party. The lord had been quite partial to his poetry, which had been rather flattering. 

Mao tried to not make it look suspicious that he was continuously glancing out of the western window, instead shifting his poems to be about dreaming of becoming a star if only to get closer to the beautiful moon. Once finished, Mao excused himself with a deep bow and faded back into the crowd. 

"Speaking of moons, did you hear? The Sakuma house has allegedly fallen ill to some strange spell..."

Mao froze, turning towards the voice for a brief moment.

"It's terrible. Some are saying they may never wake up..."

Ritsu...

Mao began walking towards the couple of whisperers, a million questions on his mind.

"Excuse-" he began, but his words were halted with the gasps of partygoers as the light of a yellow flare flashed from the western window, reflecting off of the find chandeliers and scattering throughout the hall.

Yellow. Something was terribly wrong. 

Mao could hear the voices of his friends telling him to abandon them, that the mission had failed, but he could never do that. Trickstar had become his family throughout these past few years, and he would be damned if he left them behind. 

Mao began to walk out of the hall, the beat of his heart steadily drowning out all other noise until he was oblivious to the yelling of his pursuers as he began to sprint through the castle halls. 

He turned corners blindly, trusting that his years worth of castle raiding (and living in a castle) had given him the instincts to know where to go. With each sharp exhale, Mao could feel the distance between himself and the guards grow ever smaller. 

"Isara-kun!" Makoto's voice sounded as soon as Mao burst through the door to the gardens. 

"Makoto!" Mao called back, catching a glimpse of him just before a sheathed sword came flying his way. Mao caught it with one hand, immediately turning to face the soldiers that were coming after him. 

With the sword still in its scabbard, Mao managed to block a few blows just as Hokuto made it to his side to back him up, but there were too many guards even for two. The guards were relentless, giving Mao no chance between blows to unsheathe his sword and actually fight. Mao found himself back to back with Hokuto, completely surrounded. He was vaguely aware of Subary attempting to break through the crowd of guards to get to them, the soft crack of a bow Makoto fired, but it was to no avail. 

Mao racked his mind to come up with a plan, but there was no way out of this. Mao's eyes searched their surroundings relentlessly, his mind racing more with each passing moment. Each time he would knock one guard back, another would take their place. 

The pain began with a sting, nothing more than the prick of a needle or the bite of cold. Mao looked down to see the tear in both his pants and skin, his sight zeroing in on the red that slowly began to well out of the slash in his thigh as his vision went white until he could see nothing else. 

"Isara!"

"Maakun... leave it to me."

Mao's body felt heavy for a few moments before he stopped feeling anything at all, now finding himself once more in that field of soft grass. 

Chapter Text

Hot, molten rage coursed through Ritsu’s body as the clang of steel surrounded him. The burning pain in his right thigh fueled the flames, sharpening his senses. He let his instincts built from years of training guide his body. Parry, parry, slash, parry, counter, parry, lunge, slash, parry. The commands would barely finish their whispers in Ritsu's mind before his arms would follow.

He was aware of the moisture in his palms from some distant fear.

Maakun... I'll keep you safe. I promise.

Ritsu let out a light hiss when an enemy escaped his vigilance and managed to slice through his arm. His body was getting tired, but Ritsu wouldn't let his guard go down for a moment. He made a promise, and he was going to keep it.

Forcing his arms to keep moving, Ritsu continued to hack away at their adversaries until Subaru finally broke through, grasping Ritsu and Hokuto's arms and tugging them out of the fray and into a heated chase.

Spots broke through Ritsu's vision as he tried to keep up, his breath turning sour in his throat and burning in his nose. Each fall of his right leg sent a booming pain right to his mind, causing his sight to fade in and out until he had no concept of what he was seeing. He willed his legs to keep moving and ignore the pain that shot straight through the gash in his thigh and exploded in his head. His connection was waning.

Ritsu felt someone grab his arm, urging him forward before he lost all feeling.

Ritchan, I'm supposed to be leading.

Awww, Maakun is no fun~. Come on, just one more dance!

Ritsu woke with a gasp, eyes flying open to greet the cool forest floor and field ahead of him. He was laying cradled between the roots of a tree at the edge of his clearing. With a sigh, Ritsu covered his eyes with his forearm, stormclouds brewing in both the sky and the pit of his stomach.

Maakun... I'm sorry. I should have done more... Please be okay... Please...

The wind whispered Ritsu's thoughts back to him, rustling the grass and the leaves and covering the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Ritsu?"

All at once, Ritsu was a child again, his body trembling as the tears flowed freely from his eyes. Soft gasps of air escaped his shuddering lips as he let himself bawl over… something. A scraped knee, a broken doll, a hurt friend.

“Hey… Ritchan,” Mao’s gentle voice eased the maelstrom in his head, but he flinched at the gentle touch on his shoulder, “there’s no need to cry.”

I’m sorry…

“M-Maakun- but- but you’re-“ Ritsu’s words came out in short gasps, struggling to form with the weight of his emotions.

A hand on his chin tilted his face up to meet Mao’s smile; that bright thing that always brought so much joy to his dull life. He did more than riches ever could.

Ritsu couldn’t help but cave into the chest of his friend — to flee into those arms that kept him safe throughout his childhood.

Well, until they were taken away from him.

But not this time.

Mao held Ritsu firm as he waited for the storm to die down. One hand cradled the back of Ritsu’s head to welcome his tears while the other ran up his back in time with his breaths at first before guiding him down to an easy pace.

Since when did his Maakun get so strong?

With an exhale to steel himself, Ritsu slowly ripped himself away from Mao’s embrace. My, how he’d changed.

Ritsu let himself reach up, feeling the ends of Mao’s hair. He kept it more grown out now, and Ritsu quite liked it. His thumb brushed along Mao’s jaw. It was more defined now, as was his brow. Gone were the chubby cheeks that Ritsu would bite when annoyed, now replaced by more firm cheekbones.

Ritsu startled when he felt Mao’s hand grab his wrist, his attention turning to his now bright red cheeks that made those emerald eyes stand out so beautifully, even as they avoided Ritsu’s gaze. Ritsu couldn’t help but crack a smile even as warmth flooded his own cheeks.

But there was something more pressing now.

“Maakun…” Ritsu’s hand fell to Mao’s shoulder, “did I mess up?”

The words left Ritsu’s mouth slowly, as if they themselves were also afraid of the answer.

That sick, twisted fear only grew with the beats of silence that followed.

“I… I don’t know.”

“What do you remember?” Ritsu’s grip was tighter on Mao’s shoulder now.

“I was running from a fight and then… well, then I ended up here.” A string of curses spilled out of Mao’s mouth that caught Ritsu off guard. Mao really had grown up. “We were surrounded… my friends… Subaru got Hokuto and I out but…” another curse.

Please be alright…

Ritsu couldn’t tell whose voice was on the wind.

“But Ritsu… why are you here?”

If he told the truth as he had before, would Mao slip away from him again? He didn’t want Mao to leave him alone with nothing but rotting memories to keep him company again.

“We’re in the gardens,” Ritsu said, coating his voice in a forced sweetness.

Mao let out a soft huff of air, clearly amused.

“That’s not what I asked, Ritsu.” Mao looked up, taking in their surroundings. Even the trees themselves seemed to shy away from Mao’s gaze as their leaves chimed. “This place seems so familiar… it’s almost like a dream…”

Ritsu held his breath, a hand bunching into Mao’s shirt while his other gripped Mao’s shoulder. One beat. Two.

But nothing happened. He was still there, right in front of Ritsu.

The sky turned a rosy pink as the warmth of hope bloomed in his chest.

“Are you saying you dream of me, Maakun?”

Mao’s cheeks grew as pink was the sky as he let go of Ritsu, one hand awkwardly messing with the leaves at the forest floor while the other retreated to the back of his neck.

“N-no, I- well, it’s just that… we’re childhood friends, so… of course. I haven’t exactly forgotten you.”

Ritsu’s chest warmed further at Mao’s response, finding his honesty horribly endearing.

“I never forgot you, either,” Ritsu murmured, almost afraid to say the words aloud.

After his absence, Mao’s name had almost become a forbidden subject at the castle, but Ritsu never stopped wishing for him to come back.

Mao’s gentle smile graced Ritsu’s eyes at Ritsu’s words. There was a heartbeat of silence between them, the kind that filled the air with an exciting buzz that Ritsu had missed dearly in their years apart. Mao broke the tension with a deep inhale before he stood and offered a hand to Ritsu, still wearing his smile.

“Come on, Ritchan.”

Ritsu accepted the hand to keep himself balanced as he stood. He didn’t need to ask where they were going. He knew Mao didn’t have the slightest idea, either. That was okay, though. Ritsu didn’t care where they went together.

He felt as if they were kids once more, walking hand in hand in a forest towards some unknown adventure. Only this was the current Mao standing in front of him, still offering the same gentle smile all these years later.

As they walked, the forest shifted, phasing into the castle grounds, shifting everywhere from rooms to corridors to the gardens, then back to the forest, then melting into places Ritsu didn’t recognize. Mao’s memories, perhaps. The Sakuma family hardly ever left their prison, after all.

Mao stopped walking when the forest phased into Ritsu’s balcony, and Ritsu let go of his hand to lean against the railing, his eyes looking over the white roses far below that caught the moonlight to become stars among leaves.

Ritsu had felt the understanding settle into Mao several paces ago, and he braced himself for the question.

“How long have you been here?” The question came slow, but certain.

Don’t you want to be with mommy?

Ritsu winced at the sinister voice on the wind.

No

“Since that night…” Ritsu had to keep his voice quiet to avoid any cracks.

Each time he thought he had come to terms with his fate, the tide of his emotions would pull him under again. He had known for years that one day he would never wake again — that his life would end long before he would get to truly live it. He had been ready to succumb to it, too, until Mao returned to ignite his sense of adventure once more. One look at the boy who had filled his dull days with sunlight — one look at how he’d grown and what he’d experienced — immediately had Ritsu stumbling into his old sense of wonder.

He couldn’t let that go.

“Ritsu…”

That feather-light voice full of sympathy gripped Ritsu’s throat like a vice, making his eyes burn as the blossoms below blurred into nothingness. The knob on his neck bobbed as he fought to find his voice again, but Mao’s hand on his back ripped a sob of frustration free.

“I didn’t ask for this…” Ritsu managed to say, his voice soft and broken.

“Your fainting…” Mao muttered, putting the pieces together.

It’s not fair! The roses roared.

Ritsu turned his gaze to the sky, scorning his curse with vile words as his tears fled from his eyes.

“Where are you?”

Mao’s voice was stern enough to shock Ritsu into getting his thoughts in order.

“I’m… not sure. I was in Oniichan’s room-“

“You never left the castle?”

Ritsu shook his head, looking at Mao now.

“Why?”

The determination in Mao’s gaze was clear as day, and Ritsu felt a small sense of dread sink into his belly.

“Maakun, you can’t. After that? Every kingdom will be looking for you. I’ve already seen the posters- you can’t. The guards will be surrounding the castle once news of this breaks. You can’t travel faster than a raven. Especially not now. Maakun, please.”

But nothing could shake his will now.

Mao gave him a smile before his lips brushed against Ritsu’s cheek, making his cheeks flare and his heart jump in his chest.

“Wait just a bit longer.”

A promise. They used to beg Rei for stories like this; stories where a prince would kiss the cheek of a princess to seal a vow.

Ritsu knew Mao would never break a promise to him.

Alone, Ritsu fell into his bed, a damsel gripping his sheets in sheer frustration. Only… his sheets felt horribly… real .