Archive of Our Own ^beta

Roy tried not to let his nerves show as he watched Lian hum and swing her legs back and forth in her car seat through the rear view mirror. She had been acting strange all day, which--okay, to be fair, Lian was kind of strange on a baseline day. First graders in general were a buncha fucking weirdos, and Roy could speak from experience when he said being raised by a superhero really didn’t help matters much on the whole “acting normal” front. Still, she was acting weird today, even for her.

It all started with a text message. Lian’d been the one to get the notification on her personal cell--and yes, she had a cell phone at age seven. Roy had actually read all the studies on screentime in young children, Deborah-from-play-group, but he still wanted that direct line to his daughter for emergencies. Or when he needed a cyber hug at work.

Besides, she only got texts from like, three people: Ollie, Dinah, and himself. The phone was genuinely for emergencies after all, and she could use the group chat in the specially secured app the League had made to get in touch with any of her hero family. Usually, she’d rather be tapping away on her iPad during screen time anyway.

But that morning, Lian’s phone had dinged, and she’d used all of her subsequent morning screen time to text back and forth, giggling all the while. When Roy went to look through her messages while she was getting ready for their biweekly daddy-daughter day (which, he gets that it’s a breach of privacy, but she’s seven, okay?), the texts had been gone. She’d deleted them and deleted them good.

The phone was in a ziploc baggie on the passenger seat now. He didn’t want to risk contaminating it in case someone had hacked it or something. He hoped Jason’d be able to figure out what was going on--or be able to convince Oracle to figure it out for them--once they got to Wayne Manor.

And that was the other thing! When Roy had asked Lian what she wanted to do for daddy-daughter day, she’d instantly replied with “I wanna go see Jay!” Which, okay, Roy was cool with that. He loved to watch his partner and daughter bond. But Lian never let anyone interfere with daddy-daughter day, not even Ollie. She’d once melted Roy’s heart entirely by telling him that being able to spend all day with her favorite person was the best gift she could ever get.

So why the heck was she sacrificing that to go to Bruce’s stuffy manor while Jason was stuck recuperating from a muscle tear? ...Maybe that was why, actually? Lian did hate to see her favorite people hurt, and Jay had been whining about being bored and lonely (which, how Jason got lonely in a house full of bats was beyond him). Maybe Lian wanted to make her daddy’s “special friend” feel better?

Or maybe this was some kind of trap. Maybe Lian was being blackmailed or manipulated into leading him somewhere. The humming in the backseat suddenly took an ominous turn.

Roy shook his head. No. Lian’s a baby, and Wayne Manor was possibly the only place more tightly guarded than the freakin’ Watchtower. Lian was fine. They’d be fine. As they pulled up to the Manor entrance, he entered his personal code on the special keypad Jason had installed in his car a few weeks ago, and smoothly pulled into the driveway.

Roy was surprised to see a long row of vehicles already lined up in the garage when he finally got through the labyrinth they called underground parking. It was early evening, and usually at least one or two bats were out by now. Maybe they’d stayed behind to spend time with Jason?

He inwardly shuddered at the thought. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his boyfriend’s family--or more accurately, hadn’t tentatively extended his trust once he made clear exactly what the consequences for hurting Jason or Dick again would be--but he’d really been looking forward to some semi-alone time with some of the people he cared about the most. Ah, well. At least Lian would be pampered all night, he supposed. Maybe him and Jason could sneak away for a little bit while everyone was distracted with kid stories...

He winced as he slammed the door a bit too hard while getting out and made sure to be a bit more careful with the side door once he unbuckled Lian and deposited her safely on the floor. He left the danger-phone for now, figuring he’d be able to come back for it once he was sure everything was fine with the bats themselves. The sound of elevator doors sliding open echoed through the garage as he grabbed Lian’s hand and got ready to make his way upstairs.

Alfred stepped out, his suit as crisp as ever. “Ah good, Miss Lian, Mister Roy. You’ve arrived. I trust the trip was uneventful?”

Roy nodded, “Yes, thanks Alfred. Is everyone upsta--”

“Actually, Mr. Pennyworth, would you mind providing me with my uniform?” interrupted Lian.

What.

Apparently Alfred knew what was going on though, because he merely nodded. “Certainly, Miss Harper. Mr. Harper, I would recommend you change into something more, ah, appropriate as well. I’ve taken the liberty of preparing a room for you both for the evening and arranged everything you will need in the closet there. I trust this will be amenable to you both?”

Roy noted the sudden change in address as Lian nodded emphatically. Another tally in the “something rotten in Denmark” column.

“Yeah, we both want to get started!” she said.

“Excellent,” replied Alfred. “If you would follow me then.” He walked back to the elevator and stepped inside, Lian quickly following behind.

Roy hesitated a moment before stepping in himself. As the lift moved, he turned to face his confusing little girl. “Mind spilling the beans on what’s going on, kid?”

Lian giggled and motioned for him to lean over, which of course he did gladly. “Jay said if we came over today he’d let me help run ‘ssassin school,” she whispered.

Roy pulled away. Well. That was...honestly, the fact that Roy genuinely couldn’t tell whether his daughter co-leading something called “assassin school” was a problem said a lot about his current state of affairs. It was probably just some kind of weird game the two came up with the last time Jay had babysitting duty. Hopefully.

Once the elevator pulled up to the manor proper, Alfred led the two into the west wing and indicated a nondescript looking door. “The materials you will need for this evening have been pressed and hung for you. I’ve taken the liberty of preparing a suit for you as well, Mr. Harper. Now, if you will excuse me, I fear I’m late in delivering Miss Scarlet her cup of tea.” With that, he kinda melted away. Roy hadn’t decided yet if that was because he was a butler or because he was a batler, but either way, it was impressive.

Lian pushed her way in, “We gotta get ready, daddy! I don’t wanna miss any lessons!” She made a beeline for the closet and pulled out a simple black dress and a white apron looking thing. As she pulled off her jeans and sneakers, Roy noticed she’d been wearing her black tights underneath.

“Did you get those on without help?” he asked, a bit surprised. Normally it took at least ten minutes of wrangling to get anything fancy on her.

Lian beamed. “Yep! Auntie Cassie showed me a trick last time we were practicing dancing! Now I can do tights, but they’re still weird n’ itchy.” She slipped out of her shirt and into her frock with frightening speed, and ran back into the closet. “You gotta put these on, daddy!” she called, which was the only warning Roy got before several black articles of clothing flew towards his face.

He caught what turned out to be some kind of old timey suit (“Victorian!” he could almost hear Jason yell) and did as he was told. Alfred had somehow gotten his measurements, and the outfit managed to fit perfectly. He turned towards Lian. “Well? Do I look okay?”

“Yeah, Jay’s gonna lose his mind, now come on! We gotta go!” she said, pulling at Roy’s hand. He let her lead them down a series of hallways into one of the little-used ballrooms at the back of the manor. Once they arrived, she let go of his hand and straightened out her little apron. She looked back at him questioningly.

“Looks good,” he said. “Very dainty.” He’d never say it within earshot, but the little house on the prairie schoolgirl thing she had going on was extremely adorable.

She smiled and pulled the doors open. The thick wood must have made for excellent soundproofing, because the hallway they stood in was suddenly filled with the sounds of piano music and shuffling feet.

“Three, four--you’re late, Miss Harper!” called a familiar voice in an unfamiliar British accent. Roy turned to see none other than his boyfriend, Jason Todd, in a long, black dress. He had to have been wearing a wig, since he didn’t have hair long enough to pull back into a tight bun, and the tiniest pair of glasses Roy had ever seen were perched on his nose. He leant on an ornate looking wooden cane, presumably to support his hurt leg.

“My apologies, Miss Haywood!” said Lian. Apologies? Miss Haywood? Roy was starting to feel like he was the only one not in on some kind of elaborate joke.

Jason sniffed imperiously. “Well, see that it doesn’t happen again. Miss Wayne is leading us in calisthenics now, but I trust you are prepared to lead the class in marksmanship afterwards?”

“Yes, Miss Haywood!” chirped Lian as she slid into line in between Mar’i and a kid who shared some eerie similarities with Damian. Huh. Had Bruce gotten a new one already?

Roy took stock of the room’s occupants for the first time. Alfred was standing near the back, setting up a tea service. In line with Lian were several girls and boys all dressed in the same style of school uniform. He could pick out Mar’i--because of course--and he thought he spotted Helena among the throng, but a few were giving him some trouble. His gaze drifted back towards where Jason had walked off to, and he did a double take. There, standing at the front of the class and doing a perfect arabesque was a blast from the past. Cass looked like she couldn’t have been more than ten.

“So you’ve noticed the problem, huh?” said Jason from somewhere behind him, without the affected accent this time. Roy didn’t bother to turn around, or ask how his boyfriend had managed to seemingly teleport across the room. He’d gotten used to Jason--and Dick for that matter--just doing these things a long time ago.

“Yeah. Who blackmailed you into going by Miss Haywood, and if you haven’t killed them yet do you need me to?”

“I’m reclaiming it,” Jason said with a shrug. “I’d rather associate a potential trigger with the kids than have it remind me of that clown loving bitch at a bad time. Besides, it fits the whole aesthetic we’ve got goin' on. But seriously, you’re not gonna ask about the elephant in the room?”

Roy smirked. “You mean your current look? Because real talk, I think it’s kind of working for you. Maybe you could give me a private lesson once you’re off duty.”

Jason tapped Roy’s shins with his cane. “Shut up. You know I meant the de-aged bats.”

“Okay, I’ll bite,” Roy said with a laugh. “What’s up with the de-aged bats?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “The whole damn belfry got caught up in a fight with some kinda rogue magic user last night and came back shrunk. I was here ‘cause of my torn quad, so now I’m stuck on babysitting duty with Alfred until Kori or the Birds can get this whole thing sorted out. I texted Lian ‘cause I figured it wasn’t fair for us all to be having fun without her.” He frowned. “I am really sorry for interrupting daddy-daughter day, though. I promise this won’t be a habit.”

Roy actually felt himself fall a little bit more in love, which he hadn’t thought was possible before today. “Thanks for thinkin’ of her, Jay,” he said. “We can fit in some daddy-daughter time later. Besides, she’s been buzzin’ about this all day. Finally told me on the way up here that she was gonna run ‘assassin school.’ I figure that’s what all this is?”

Jason grinned. “Yep! Scarlet Haywood’s Finishing School for Assassins of Fine Breeding. It was Mara’s turn to pick the game, and she let me and Alfred have some fun with it. Why, you wanna enroll?”

“I think Lian would kill me before letting me go to school with her,” Roy said with a laugh. “But I hear you’re running marksmanship next? Need a guest instructor?”

“Happy to have you aboard,” said Jason. He looked over his shoulder and winced. “You good with a quick turnaround time though? Cassie’s leadin’ everyone through cooldown already.”

Roy shrugged. “Can’t be any harder than half the shit you or Arty drag us into. I figure I’ll just follow Lian’s lead.”

Jay grinned, and straightened his posture. “Right,” he said with what Roy now recognized as a perfect imitation of Alfred’s accent, “you will fit in just fine then, Mr. Harper. Follow me, I’ll introduce you to the children.”

Jason, or Miss Scarlet Haywood, Roy supposed, walked over to where Cass was standing and gave her an approving nod. “Well led, Miss Wayne. Now, if you would get back in line with your peers, we will begin the next phase of our athletic training.” He pointed to Lian. “Miss Harper, to the front.”

Lian practically skipped to the front of the room, and beamed when she saw Roy. “Hello, father! Will you be assisting with the lesson today!”

Roy blinked twice. “Ah, yes, uh, my dear! Yes, I am here to demonstrate the marksmanship.”

“You’re trying too hard, daddy,” Lian stage-whispered. “Jay’s gonna laugh at you later.”

Roy frowned. “Well, what am I supposed to do then?”

“Just be my target, daddy!”

“If you two are quite done disrupting the immersion!” called Scarlet.

Roy and Lian locked eyes and grinned.

“For this lesson, we will need two volunteers!” said Lian. “Da--I mean, my father has already agreed to be one. Miss Scarlet, you will be the other!”

Jason sputtered. “What? I mean--Miss Harper, that would be improper!”

“We’ll be standing several feet apart, Miss Haywood,” said Roy, “It’s just so the children will have more of an opportunity to practice their shots. You’re willing to help if it’s for the children, are you not?” Lian shot him a grin, and he held back a smirk. Heck yeah, he was absolutely crushing it at channeling his inner theater kid.

“Oh, I suppose,” said Jason with a sigh, and he stepped up to the front of the room. He and Roy took a few paces in opposite directions, and turned to face the children.

“Everyone, form two lines!” called Lian. “Mr. Pennyworth will hand you your weapon. Remember our ranged weapon safety seminar from last month, and be careful with live rounds.”

Roy watched as Alfred handed each kid a Super Soaker. Ah, great. The things he did for his little hero. He braced himself as each kid decided who they wanted to soak.

“Hey! Roy!” The kid at the front of his line waved enthusiastically. Roy squinted. He couldn’t have been more than seven, but even with a smaller build and a slight eastern European accent, he could pick out his best friend.

“Hey Dickie!” he waved back, then frowned. “Wait, how come you don’t gotta do the bougie voice?”

“What, like this?” said Dick in another perfect imitation of Alfred’s accent. “Because it’s dumb, and the last person who tried ta make me got suplexed,” he continued in his usual tone. “‘Sides, I’m mostly here to spend time with Jay and Cassie, cause I didn’t get to see them much ‘fore we all got ‘sploded by the meanie magician!” He aimed his soaker. “Now, open wide!”

“Wha--” Roy didn’t get any further than that before Dick filled his mouth with water. He spluttered and coughed as the kid cackled. He couldn’t help but grin--he’d missed that laugh. It’d been a while since he’d last heard it so bright and carefree. He stood extra still so Dick could get another shot in before the kids behind him got too antsy.

“See ya, Roy!”

They continued on like that for some time, kid after kid lining up and taking a shot at hosing down increasingly uncomfortable spots. His socks were somehow completely soaked, and he could feel water dripping down his back.

“Ah, sshhhhhhhoeflies!” Jason had been coming up with increasingly stupid alternatives to swears--that last one appeared to have been a response to baby Tim getting him with a shot right to the eye.

“Great work everyone!” said Lian. “Get to Mr. Pennyworth and reload, fast! We can’t let them dry out!”

The sound of laughter filled the room as everyone ran to Alfred. Roy walked over to Jason, suit jacket in hand. It was drier than the rest of him, and the closest thing he had to offer to a towel. But as he got closer, he heard a snippet of the conversation Jay was having with one of the kids.

“So I did well, Miss Scarlet?”

“Very well, Mr. Wayne. I was most impressed with your deliberate aim.”

Mr. Wayne, Roy mouthed to himself. That couldn’t have been--there was no way. But as he looked down towards the kid, he realized that it was indeed a nine year old Bruce clutching Jay’s skirts and looking at him like he’d hung every star in the sky. Jay looked pretty flustered under the attention, but Roy figured he deserved to squirm for a bit for getting him into this mess. He looked over to Alfred and gestured with his head towards the pair. He figured he wouldn’t want to miss family bonding.

“--let me hug you when I’m big, please?” he heard Bruce say as he tuned back into the conversation.

“That’s up to you, young man. I’m not sure that you’d want to once you’re grown again.”

Roy watched as Bruce shrunk in on himself. “It’s okay if you don' want me to. I know you hate me a lot. Most people don’t like me very much. But you don’ have to pretend that you’d be doing me a favor. I want to hug you.”

Jason scoffed. “It’s not gonna be the same, B,” he said, accent forgotten. “You’ll get bigger, sure, but you’ll remember that we’ve outgrown each other. You’ll feel differently then.”

“No I won’t!” yelled Bruce, loud enough to draw the attention of the rest of the room. The kid blushed, then continued a bit more softly. “No, I wont! You’re my favorite Jason in the whole wide world, and I want to hug you more than anything! You have to let me do it when I’m big again, please!” Bruce looked close to tears.

Roy caught Jay’s panicked gaze. “I’ll leave you to it,” he mouthed and looked towards the rest of the room. “All right, everyone!” he announced. “Let’s go see if we can find some ice cream after all that hard work!”
Alfred helped him wrangle the gaggle of babies towards one of the informal dining rooms. Between the two of them, they managed to set up a pretty decent sundae bar. Roy was just finishing up helping Lian pluck an extra maraschino cherry from the jar when Jason walked in, holding Bruce’s hand. Bruce had a wide grin on his face, the likes of which Roy knew he’d probably never see again.

“Alfred!” Bruce yelled over the room. “Jason said I’m an okay dad! Isn’t that the bestest news in the entire universe?”

Roy could hear the sound of Dick cheering from somewhere among the chattering throng. He held back a grin himself at the sight of Jason’s red face.

“The best indeed, Master Bruce,” said Alfred. “Now, would you like rainbow or chocolate sprinkles?”

Bruce ran over to Alfred, and Roy slid over to snatch Jason’s hand for himself once he got Lian settled. “Everything okay, babe?”

Jay stared into the middle distance for a minute, then nodded. “Yeah, you know, I actually kinda think so.”

“Good,” he said, pressing a kiss to Jason’s cheek. “I’m glad it only took an entire de-aging debacle and Victorian roleplay for you two to talk it out.”

Jason somehow managed to flush a deeper red. “Shut up, loser,” he said, without any heat in the words.

Roy grinned, and leaned his head against Jason’s shoulder, feeling Jason press their sides closer together in response. The two watched as a young Steph taught the rest how to play “Down by the banks of the hanky panky.” Yeah, he thought. Today hadn’t been the daddy daughter day he’d been expecting, but it worked out pretty well in the end.