Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

By a lone tree was a teen who looked to be barely near the age of adulthood as he laid by the tree roots where he held his braid out. Pink tendrils squirmed at the end of it and attached themselves to the glowing leaves. They hung down like a waterfall and pulsed with a pinkish hue in the dark night. Having connected himself to the land, he could hear and see the memories left behind by the Na'vi before him but none ever looked like him.

Their skin was a darker shade of blue with yellow eyes rather than his aqua green skin and green-blue eyes. They had straighter hair while his was curlier with tufts of hair at the end of their tail unlike his paddle-shaped one. He didn't know where his home was but knew that here in the forest, he was out of place. An outsider amongst the Na'vi who lived in this territory and he couldn't help but think of himself as a trespasser.

Still, he pushed on when daylight came and he thanked Eywa for another day. He trudged onward and plucked berries off the bushes, keeping them in a small basket he weaved out of leaves and twigs. He decided he would save them for later and hand any leftovers to the creatures who climbed the trees. Sometimes he would come across a pack where one of them would at least hand him a fruit, most likely due to him being courteous and not wanting to be indebted to.

He carefully carried the basket with one hand, having it pressed to his side as he used his dominant right hand to pull himself up the fallen logs and higher terrain which he was definitely not suited for. When the sun had risen to its highest peak, he thankfully found a lake and sat next to it while he started on his meal. It would never be enough to fill him but he was unsure of what else was edible in the forest.

He watched as the fish swam close to the surface, lazily going against the current and he, for a moment, contemplated on joining them to feel a familiar sensation he had no memory of. But he did not do this, instead he finished up his remaining berries and checked on the makeshift bandage he made for himself when he got nicked by a forest banshee a few days back. A hungry one managed to get the jump on him but he thankfully made a swift escape and lost it through the maze of trees.

Unwrapping the leaf around his forearm, he saw that the wound was healing well and quickly washed it with the lake water before grabbing another large leaf to replace the dirty one. His whole journey to survive would go to waste should he succumb to a simple wound infection. Once he was done, he gathered his basket and continued moving through the forest to possibly find another Na'vi who might help him.

Countless days and nights evading predators and gathering any sort of safe food, he stopped his hunt for fish when he heard the sound of horses grunting and the faint language of his race. He didn't believe it was real and laid there, wondering if what he heard was true. The sun was setting and perhaps he was merely conjuring it up as a way to cope. He clambered to his feet when the voices grew softer, suddenly afraid he might be missing his chance. Not wanting it to slip through his fingers so soon, he began to run, his tail whacking against the trees as he strapped his knife to his side. He rushed to the hunters on their horses and yelped when one of them drew an arrow aimed for his head.

"Don't shoot! Can you not see this is a child?!" The Na'vi with hair parted in the middle and braided with beads yelled.

"But how did one of the Reef People get all the way here?" The one who drew his weapon hissed.

The boy frowned in confusion, the term sounding familiar to him but the memory of it failed to reach and he was left in the dark about it still. His green eyes met with the hunter who defended him but there was still wariness in those yellow eyes. Perhaps it is because the two looked so different that the teen stuck out like a sore thumb or maybe it was just because the entire situation was absurd. Even so, the lost Na'vi decided he would try to reason with them in hopes they may know where he came from.

"You're the first Na'vi I've seen in some time," he said, wondering if he should say something more.

"...How long have you been out here alone?" The first of them asked.

The boy shrugged, kicking up at the dirt as he held the basket to his stomach. He never had a way to tell the date, only knowing it was far too long since he saw one in person. Perhaps this was Eywa's way of granting him refuge from the unpredictability of nature and he avoided the gazes of the hunters. To them, they could see the boy was skinnier than most, even if his forelimbs were broader than the forest-dwelling Na'vi of the region, he was far too scrawny in comparison to those of similar age.

His skin was pale and his eyes were sunken in, his entire body looked to be about ready to fall right then and there and one could only wonder how someone so young could survive alone this far without anyone to aid him.

"We should take him back to Hometree, there we can see what Eytukan will do with him," the head of the group instructed.

"He is sure to cast him out the moment he steps in," another hunter scoffed.

"Don't be so heartless," the group leader looked down at the child, getting off his mount to approach the child who stared at him in curiosity.

"Come, we will bring you to someplace safe."

Without much of a choice, the green-eyed boy let himself be carried and placed on the saddle where the man sat behind him to begin the trip home. He linked his queue to the horse and expertly rode through the trees while the rest of his group followed after. The streams of air whipped against their skin and for a moment the teen compared it to swimming underwater until the horse slowed its pace and they had reached the entrance of the clan's home situated in a large tree.

He gasped in awe, not noticing how the man lightly chuckled at his reaction. They stopped by the stables first but by then, quite a number of the clan members had caught sight of the ocean adapted Na'vi and many children wanted to go over to him but were stopped by their parents. He shyly waved to others his age until the man who brought him here extended his hand for him to take. Unsure of what to do, the boy followed his instincts and grabbed onto it, following the adult deeper into the tree where by the carved steps was an old Na'vi dressed extravagantly in red feathers and head gear.

"Rai'uk, why have you brought someone from the reef?" The leader questioned.

"He is lost with nowhere to go. He does not know of his origins," the warrior replied.

"And what if he's lying? I will not tolerate any outsiders," Eytukan argued.

"Why would he lie? Have you not seen how pitiful he is?! He is sickly!" Rai'uk yelled.

A woman with dreads held back by a bandanna walked over, two girls trailing after her and standing a few steps away as she stopped right beside the leader. She brought one hand up to silence him, wanting him to calm down lest he scare the child.

"What is your name?" She referred to the curly-haired Na'vi.

He hesitated for a moment, "...Zazu."

Whispers broke out amongst the crowd and he didn't understand why. Was it because he had only given his first name? If so, it was the few parts of his identity he remembered. From the corner of his eye he could see a group of boys pointing and laughing at him. Perhaps it was because he looked different from them but he was unable to fathom what would be so funny about it. If he could just remember whose child he was, the clan could help to spread the word, but his memories were fuzzy and the remnants in his head weren't enough to fully connect the dots.

Rai'uk held the child closer to him, his parental instincts telling him to protect the child the best he could. He was sure his mate would do the same and he hoped Olo'eyktan would let the boy stay for the couple to take care of. The Tsahìk eyed the scrawny Na'vi child and turned to her mate who had been silently waiting for her verdict.

"It will do no harm if we let him in. I can see he is harmless," she said.

The Olo'eyktan nodded, "So be it."

"Rai'uk, you will take care of this boy. Teach him the ways of our people," the leader ordered.

With a bow of his head, the warrior agreed to do so and gently tugged the green-eyed child along to where his wife was currently coming back from gathering berries. She left her large basket to the Na'vi working in the kitchen and headed over to Rai'uk before slowing down and eyeing the young stranger. Her hair was braided into dreads and tied into a ponytail with beads decorating the few locks creating noise whenever she moved her head.

"Maru," the man whispered.

She gently nuzzled her nose into his cheek as a sign of affection, the two of them whispering to one another while the youngest of them was none the wiser. Once they finished discussing, she tilted her head, kneeling down to get a better look at the boy with one hand out to possibly touch him. No doubt he stood out and could only wonder how he survived in the night when his skin was far brighter than those of the clan.

"His name is Zazu," her mate said.

Her eyes flickered to him upon hearing so and her gaze refocused on the boy who still held a small basket to his chest as he looked back to where all the other kids were playing. She brought a hand up and gently touched his matted hair which easily gained his attention. As she stared into those aquatic green eyes of his, she found his soul to be an open book.

"My name is Maru. It is nice to meet you, Zazu," she greeted.

"Hello! You're very pretty," the teen complimented.

Rai'uk let out a sound mixed between a gasp and a scoff, his dramatic response being ignored by his mate as she rolled her eyes at his antics. She playfully whacked him on the arm, forcing him to stop all while Zazu watched them.

"Is he dying?" He asked.

"He's just being an idiot. And thank you, Zazu, I think you look very pretty too," Maru said.

He shyly nodded at her, seeing how she smiled so brightly and pondered on why it was such a good thing for her to be smiling so happily. Nevertheless he kept the question to himself and followed along with the couple to where they showed him around the place in order for him to get used to living here.

A few children who were brave enough to come forth introduced themselves to the clan's temporary addition and invited him to play with them. Unfortunately he was still busy with the tour but Rai'uk had promised Zazu would play with them tomorrow. The kids waved goodbye, running off to who knows where and Zazu shyly waved at their retreating forms, longing evident in his eyes.

"You will have time to play after. Come now, we will show you where you sleep and if we have time, I can show you the ikran," the man said.

"What's that?" The younger male asked.

"They are creatures that live high up in the mountains. They are large enough for an adult Na'vi to fly on but they can be dangerous if you're not careful enough," Maru explained.

"Will they eat you?" Zazu asked.

"They are known to hurt young Na'vi, especially during Iknimaya. It is when you find an ikran up in the high mountains and bond with it " Rai'uk stopped by the upper chambers, showing the countless hammocks set up.

They walked over to the large hammock meant for a bigger family which gave the couple enough space to watch over the boy. Zazu brushed his fingers over the woven material and sat on the empty hammock as he wondered if it'd be able to carry his weight.

"Don't worry, it's sturdier than it looks. But remember this is where you will sleep," Maru said, "Now come, dinner will start soon. We can see the ikran another day."

She ushered the two males down to where everyone was slowly gathering around the bonfire and seated them in the second row. Many eyes were on the new Na'vi who shrugged off their gazes until someone was bold enough to touch his tail, which caused him to jolt in surprise. The one who touched him snickered at his reaction and it was to be expected from a child who only held curiosity in them.

Zazu decided to hold his tail to his chest, letting it go when a leaf full of white squishy bugs was handed to him. He looked down at the grub, picking one up to examine it. He had seen them every once in a while in the forest but he never thought to eat them. He shrugged his shoulders and popped it into his mouth, silently eating his meal as some of the Na'vi in the clan talked amongst themselves.

Seeing so many people gathered in one place, it was different than what he was used to. Normally he'd be holed up in the highest tree, far from any civilization as he hoped to live another day. He let himself flow from one conversation to the next until he had finished his meal and the night stretched on. When dinner was over, he found himself idling near the entrance of the clan's territory.

He wondered if somewhere out there, he was closer to finding where he first came from. Whether he had family or friends waiting for his return. He couldn't remember them and maybe in the end, they didn't remember him either. A voice suddenly whispered in his ear and he slapped a hand over the right side of his head as he backed away from the source.

He came face to face with the clan head's daughter, the one with more rounded features who chuckled at his reaction. A hand brushed against his tail and he quickly turned around to see the second daughter who was judging him. He was starting to feel self-conscious under her gaze and he backed away from her, keeping his hands close to his chest to make himself look smaller.

"Your arms are big, are they for fighting?" The first girl asked.

"It's to help with swimming," he answered.

"Are all reef people as thin as you?" Her sister followed up.

"I- I don't know," Zazu stuttered.

"Why are your eyes so big? Your ears are small too," she then asked.

"Neytiri," the older girl scolded.

The young Na'vi grumbled to herself, crossing her arms together as the boy faced the other girl who had a serene smile on her face.

"My name is Sylwanin, and this is my sister Neytiri," she introduced.

"Zazu…that is my name," the boy replied.

"Well, Zazu, how have you found the forest so far?" She queried. "It must be difficult having come from the sea."

"I learned how to navigate through it thanks to Eywa's teachings," he said. "If not for her, I would be dead."

"That is good to hear. May Eywa continue to guide you," Sylwanin smiled.

She was interrupted by any further conversation when a small group of boys approached them. A few snickered amongst themselves as they walked towards their target and the green-eyed Na'vi tilted his head in confusion.

"You do not belong here. How will you navigate the forest if you have such big limbs?" The group leader poked Zazu’s arms to prove his point.

The curly-haired boy clicked his tongue, taking a step back with a growl rumbling in his throat.

"You're just scared someone like me will do better than you," he responded, a smirk playing on his lips.

The boy scoffed, "As if you'd be any better than me. A freak like you would get eaten once you step into the forest."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

The two of them were glaring at each other and coming closer to the point where the apparent height difference was obvious. Zazu, despite his lanky appearance, was a head taller than the average Na'vi teenager who lived on the mainland. He jerked himself forward as a way of intimidation before taking a step back.

"Let's not fight. The Tsahìk and Olo'eyktan have made their decision and we will treat him like we do to those in the clan," Sylwanin spoke up, getting in between the boys.

"He's only going to slow us down. I can't wait until he gets eaten by a palulukan," the bully scoffed.

Zazu clicked his tongue in irritation, pushing past the group to get back to his caretakers. He growled at the Na'vi who tagged along with the mean boy, disappointed at the lack of respect but it was given considering the circumstances. Yet, was there a reason to come for someone's appearance? In the end they were all united by their love for Eywa, so what made them different in the eye of the beholder?

He was only a few steps away from the group but fell short when one of them pulled on his tail and tripped him over. Zazu's face slammed onto the ground with a soft hiss escaping him when he raised his head.

"What do you think you are doing?" He heard Sylwanin say.

"We're putting this outsider in his place, he does not belong here!" The leader argued.

"It has already been decided. You have no right to say where Zazu belongs-"

The green-eyed boy tuned out what she said, picking himself up and touching his nose to check for any bruising. Thankfully there was none and without sparing a second glance, he left to find his caretakers. He didn't notice the distinct pair of yellow eyes that followed his every movement until the forest-dwelling Na'vi was called to follow the group.

Zazu hoped to Eywa he wouldn't see those boys again but knew he would since he would soon learn the ways of the Omatikaya clan and getting trained alongside those idiots was something he couldn't avoid. He grumbled under his breath, his frown present on his face and Maru placed a finger against his forehead to smoothen out the wrinkles forming. She settled him beside her on the hammock, cupping his face in her hands but he averted his gaze from her.

"What's gotten you so angry?" She asked.

The boy turned his head away, calming himself by playing with the songcord around his neck. He shook his head as a response, not wanting to worry her but also in fear she may scold him for talking bad about the children in her clan.

"It's nothing," he said, walking over to his hammock.

"Goodnight, Maru."

He had his back faced towards her, his tail curled around his leg as he listened in to what she might be doing. He wasn't able to stay awake for long when she began to speak to Rai'uk and soon he was blessed with dreams of Eywa and the ocean he so longed to see again.

Chapter Text

It was common for everyone to wake up early in order to start the day but Zazu was awake far earlier than that and sat up in his hammock where he then stared straight ahead at the walls of the tree. He figured he'd look at the other Na'vi instead, seeing how they all peacefully slept without tossing and turning.

He took this time to check on his wound, the blood already dried up during the healing process. It was still far from a full recovery but he didn't have much time to gather any more herbs and leaves to rebandage it. He fought the urge to scratch at the scab, adjusting the withering leaf over the wound and laying on his back. His hand ran over the handle of his blade, feeling the woven seagrass coloured in hues of dark brown and green.

The blade was crafted from a dark blue crystal where at just the right angle, you could see how the edges were more transparent than the centre area. It was large in width with the sharp edge curving like a wave while the top part nearing the handle had serrated edges mimicking sharp teeth of a creature. He ran a hand over the flat part of the knife, hoping it would impart some sort of wisdom to him.

When it didn’t give him any memory of how he got it, he sheathed it back into the woven carrier and continued to wait. The moment the sun finally began to rise and some of the older Na'vi began to stir awake, Zazu faced his caretakers and laid on his stomach as he propped his head up on his palms. Rai'uk was first to raise his head and rubbed his eyes while letting his gaze roam over the rest of the sleeping clan until he caught sight of the young boy who waved at him.

"Good morning," the teen greeted, sitting upright and beaming at the older male.

"...Zazu?" He muttered.

"You're going out to hunt right? I know a good place full of fish," Zazu said, "Let me get a spear and we can go hunt."

"Zazu-"

"Then there's also spots I know have a lot of grub. Oh, but there's that large black creature near the place," he continued to ramble.

"Zazu!" Rai'uk hissed.

The boy quickly shut up, waiting for his caretaker to speak. Rai'uk sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before running a hand over his face. He shook his head, getting out of his hammock and approaching the younger male.

"You, stay here. Maru will teach you all about the clan while you get stronger. Right now you are too weak, like a twig," he said.

"I'm not a twig, more like a…a…pebble!" Zazu snapped his fingers together.

"Light enough for me to toss," Rai'uk countered.

The boy pouted at the statement, knowing if he tried to find a different word to describe himself, it would be refuted easily. He groaned, hugging his knees close to his chest and frowning at his caretaker. The man merely waved him off and by now Maru had woken up, placing a hand on her mate's arm to comfort him.

"Rai'uk is right. You are too weak now. When you look better then maybe we will consider training you to hunt," she said.

It was obvious her word was final and Rai'uk left to gather the other hunters which tasked her with caring for the curly-haired Na'vi who was huffing to himself. She got out of her cot, one hand reaching out to tuck a lock of braided hair behind his ear and cupped his cheek with a soft coo.

"I'm sure you'll be able to go with them someday. For now, how about we help to gather for today's breakfast?" She suggested.

Zazu pursed his lips in contemplation but was quick to get out of his hammock and tugged Maru to the stairs to start their day. He followed her to where all the other gatherers of the day were waiting and had his basket handed to him when it was taken by Maru last night. It was smaller than the others but did the job in collecting what he needed.

He was one of the few younger Na'vi who joined the gathering group and once everyone was present, they began their trek into forest where the safest areas were. Maru was tasked with gathering more ovumshroom and already had Zazu scuttling around to grab however much he was told to get. He reappeared with a basket full of mushrooms and presented it to his caretaker with a wide smile on his face.

"I'm done!" He beamed.

"So quick?" She raised an eyebrow, checking his pile to see if he had truly done what she asked.

Sifting through the mushrooms, she nodded at his work and patted his head for doing a good job. He hummed in confusion, patting his own head and wondering what it did. Maybe she was imparting some sort of knowledge to him through physical contact and it would take time for him to receive the information. A ludicrous assumption but who was he to judge? Life in a clan was much more different than a solidarity one though he had his flying companion who would come by ever so often so was it truly right to say he led his life in solitude?

Maru and Zazu were first to head back to Hometree since they were finished and the boy set his basket next to hers in the kitchen for when it would be used for dinner.

"Since it's still early, how about we go see the pa'li?" She offered.

He eagerly nodded his head, letting her take his hand to lead him to the stables. He couldn't stick still and settled into a rhythm of skipping ahead with a tug on Maru's hand before slowing down and waiting for her to catch up. After a few minutes, they made it to their destination and Zazu gasped in awe.

They were in a set area busy grazing on grass or relaxing in the daylight. There were distinctly fewer of them than he remembered and assumed most of them were brought out for travel. He swayed from side to side and stared at them intensely to burn the memory of them into his brain.

He had ridden one when Rai'uk first found him but never had time to admire one up close. He gawked at their beauty, itching to get closer to feel them. Taking a few steps forward, he made eye contact with the horse to his right, looking into its green eyes and thinking how it looked similar to his own.

"This one is named Tsmi. She's much friendlier than the rest," Maru said, leading the mount to him.

"Hello Tsmi, my name is Zazu," he introduced himself, signing with his hands for the creature to understand better.

"What are you doing?" She queried.

She tried to mimic his movements and earned a chuckle from the boy. He leaned closer to Tsmi, cupping a hand by the side of his mouth and whispered to her with a short giggle leaving his lips. The creature whinied and shook her head from side to side in mute laughter.

Maru settled down with a soft smile on her face, watching the child gossip with the pa'li like they had been friends for years rather than having just met. The horse nudged the boy with her snout, motioning for him to mount her. Easier said than done since he didn't know how he would pull himself onto the saddle when she was much taller than him. Zazu placed both his hands on the side of her neck wondering if he'd accidentally hurt her if he were to wrap his arms around while getting up.

Tsmi seemingly rolled her eyes, urging the boy to get on and he mumbled as he did his best not to hurt her in any way. He hoisted himself up, sitting on the saddle rather awkwardly until he was able to get into a comfortable position.

"Now, make the bond," Maru instructed.

He gently led the creature's queue to his where the pink tendrils emerged from the end of his braid and reached out to Tsmi's. His breath got caught in his throat once the connection was made and he fell forward to lean against the steed to steady himself. He placed one hand over his chest, closing his eyes as he felt his body become one with the pa'li.

It was as if his lower body was joined with hers and now he could traverse the rocky terrain and speed through the forest faster than he ever could before. He patted Tsmi's side, letting his mind tell her where to go and at first it was difficult, having only moved a few steps ahead. But the longer the two remained bonded, the easier it was to understand and soon Zazu was riding the creature without any problems.

He and his mount galloped around the small area and a laugh of pure joy erupted from the boy. He slowed down in front of Maru, leaning to the side to beam at her with his sharp teeth on display and waiting for her reaction. She barely made a sound and could only stare blankly at him. This made Zazu's smile dim and he nervously played with his curly hair, sliding off Tsmi while disconnecting their queues.

"I assume it's not hunter level skill yet?" He said.

His statement snapped Maru from whatever she was thinking of and she immediately shook her head in denial.

"You did wonderful. Is this your first time riding a pa'li?" She asked.

He slowly nodded, getting another pat on the head from his caretaker. He patted his own head again, still wondering what it was she was trying to do.

"Ah, a pat on the head is to show you've done well," she explained after sensing his confusion.

His eyes lit up at the explanation, nodding and repeating the information in his head. He turned to face Tsmi who was idly standing by for anything else she might be needed for. He signed for her to lower her head and she did as she was told, feeling a hand gently patting her head.

"Good job, Tsmi," Zazu said.

The horse portrayed her appreciation by nudging his face and nuzzling into his cheek. She stopped when she sensed someone coming by and it was Rai’uk who had returned after a good hunt. Guessing this was the end of their time together, Zazu bid the pa'li goodbye, promising to see her again soon. He followed Maru as she made her way over to her mate in order to relay the morning’s events to him. While the three of them continued deeper into the clan’s home, Zazu accidentally bumped shoulders with the boy next to him and was quick to apologise. He noted how the Na'vi with dark blue skin was roughly the same build and age as the leader of that rowdy group last night but figured it was a different person and held back his hostility.

He focused on his caretakers, pretending he couldn't feel the other teen’s burning gaze. He listened in on his caretakers' conversation and heard them talking about showing him the ikran. He had yet to see what an ikran was but if it was anything like Tsmi, he was sure it wouldn't be too bad. He followed Rai'uk when the man gestured for him to do so, waving goodbye to Maru who had other things to do.

Climbing up the spiralling stairs to the highest floor of the tree, Zazu peeped out of the entryway leading to a large branch stretching out to where a large dark green creature with wings was perched atop. It hopped down from where it was first laying and approached the duo, more specifically Rai'uk who then held its jaws shut.

"Don't look it in the eyes," he warned, prompting the boy to slap his hands over his face.

Rai'uk chuckled at Zazu's actions, watching how the younger male peeked through the gaps of his fingers and silently gasped in awe. Zazu walked a little bit closer to better observe the winged animal and even if its colours were different than he remembered, it was definitely the same species as a companion of his. He marvelled at the green skin and saw the dark brown spots scattered along the wings in a swirling pattern.

"They remind me of Txon'ong," he said.

"Txon'ong?" Rai'uk queried.

"Yeah! He looks like them but dark blue with purple wings!" Zazu raised his arms in a cheer.

His happy mood soon diminished and he looked out to the forest where it would be difficult to find a single mountain banshee in all the foliage. His fingers picked at the leaf bandage he still had on and was reminded of how long it had been since he last saw his friend. It was days before he was brought into the clan but a little after his run-in with the smaller versions of the banshee.

They had promised to meet soon when Zazu reached the next tree for them to chart their journey route but he didn't think the banshee knew of his current situation. Perhaps Txon'ong believed his friend had left him or had died along the way but how else was Zazu supposed to inform him? Yelling would do nothing but attract predators and the two of them have always gone about their own way.

He squatted down, his toes gripping onto the wood as he used a finger to draw out what he remembered his friend looked like. A week without seeing each other, was one week all it took to forget how his flying companion looked?

"I miss him. I wonder if he's okay," he said.

"I'm sure he is. A bonded ikran will not leave its rider, no matter how far apart you are," Rai'uk comforted, "Maybe we can fly together once Txon'ong returns. For now, would you like to play with the other children?"

Zazu flinched at the mention of the Na'vi kids and tried to come up with an excuse on the spot. No way was he going to give those bullies a chance to mess with him. Thinking about their hands pulling at his tail made him shudder, and he didn't want to think about falling face first into the ground again.

"Oh, I think I can hear Maru calling for me to help her," he lied, getting up from his squatting position.

He shuffled backwards to the entrance, ignoring the hunter's confused look when he finally reached the start of the staircase. He had one leg already stretched out to begin his escape while his hands gripped onto the doorway as he popped his head out to say goodbye.

"I'll see you later!" He exclaimed.

He immediately dashed down the stairs, leaving Rai'uk utterly baffled at the situation. He turned to look his ikran in the eye and received chittering in return to confirm what he saw was real. The older Na'vi sighed, hoping the teen wouldn't stir up any trouble by accident.

When Zazu reached the ground floor, he was on the lookout for any of the boys he saw yesterday so that he could actively avoid them. He sneaked past the skull of a Great Leonopteryx and towards the forest entrance to find some respite. He scaled one of the trees and leapt from one branch to the next, balancing precariously on the moss-grown wood to see a few stingbats hanging upside down on a thin branch with their wings wrapped around their body.

He squatted down to better observe them until he turned himself so that his feet were hanging on the branch and his body loosely swung. He wrapped his arms around his torso, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths in hopes it would slow down the blood rushing to his head.

"What are you doing?" A voice suddenly asked.

His breath got caught in his throat from the surprise and he nearly lost his footing if not for him immediately pulling himself up to grab the tree. His hands gripped onto the branch as if it were a lifeline and he looked up to see the chief's youngest daughter waiting for his answer. He could already see that she had no remorse for almost having him plummet to the ground but she still ranked higher than the naughtier children who might have simply pushed him off.

"What are you doing here?" He grunted, positioning himself on all fours to balance himself.

"I followed you. You're very easy to spot," she replied.

Zazu rolled his eyes with a sarcastic tone lacing his words, "Of course I am."

"Now go home. I'm not in the mood to deal with little children today."

He leapt off the branch to grab onto a nearby vine, swinging himself to the next tree where he continued to travel to the next. He could hear the rustle of leaves and light footsteps following after him and he stopped by the large fallen trunk bridging the pathway. A thud sounded behind him and he huffed, crossing his arms together with a disappointed look towards the girl who stared at him with faux innocence.

"Why do you keep following me?" He frowned.

She was silent for a minute, her yellow eyes staring straight into his as she spoke, "I saw you riding Tsmi."

"And? Everyone in the clan rides a pa'li. What makes it so different if I do it?" He asked.

"The two of you were one being, moving so gracefully like the seasoned hunters in the clan," she complimented, inching closer towards him.

"So what is it you want?" Zazu said.

"Teach me."

A sound of confusion followed by his baffled expression was what came first. He had yet to think over what she said and took a few seconds after to consider her request. To take is to give and what could Neytiri give to him? He had yet to know and as he looked down at the girl with pursed lips, he teased her by purposefully humming in contemplation and acting like he was truly thinking about it.

"Only if you teach me how to use a bow," he finally said.

"Deal." She smirked.

By now, the two of them were close to the tree Zazu would usually spend time with when he was nearby. At first he had no idea he was on the route to the place but now that he was near, his heart wished to ask Eywa for guidance in this new position he was in. He sighed, holding a hand out for Neytiri to take and shaking it when she wouldn't.

"You don't even know where you're going," she laughed.

"I do," he confidently said, "We are going to see Eywa. She's calling for us."

"How do you know?" Neytiri questioned.

"Because I hear her."

The children linked hands and Zazu led her towards the Tree of Voices that seemingly glowed brighter upon their arrival. He waved at the tree, dragging Neytiri along to the step in front of it and grabbing his braid. His queue stretched out to attach to the hanging vines, wrapping itself securely and the sensation of Eywa's presence washed over him.

"I'm sure you know I'm with the Omatikaya clan right now. They are nice, Rai'uk and Maru to be exact," he began to speak. "They feed me lots but they don't let me hunt for them in return."

He was going to say something else but held his tongue, pulling Neytiri forward and stifling a chuckle at her astonished face. She caught his gaze and he nodded at her, returning his attention to the tree with his free hand gesturing to the girl.

"This is Neytiri, she's from the clan. She's…alright. I think we'll be good friends, that is, if she wants us to be." He shyly looked her in the eyes.

Anxiety pooled in Zazu's stomach and he regretted what he previously said. The hand which was holding the younger girl's was now empty as Neytiri had pulled away and he held it behind his back in shame. His green eyes focused on the ground beneath him until an arm looped around his own and he looked at the chief's daughter in surprise. Her queue was also linked to the tree and she smiled at him, an action he returned tenfold.

"I rode a pa'li for the first time today. Her name is Tsmi and she reminds me a lot of Txon'ong. She is very beautiful."

He continued to recount his time away, uploading his memories for others to one day see and Neytiri witnessed his adventures through his eyes, marvelling at the sights far from her home. Then the scenery changed and the darker aspects of his journey came forth. This included his skirmish with a forest banshee where the end showed his forearm with a deep gash.

The girl looked down at his right arm and noticed how it looked so out of place as compared to the plain outfit he had on. Zazu disconnected himself from the tree once he was done with all he wanted to say. Of course, if he was alone he'd already be chatting Eywa's ear off till the next day but they needed to go back before the other clan members started to question where they went.

Their arms were still joined together and he used this to his advantage, dragging the girl along once she had unlinked herself from the Tree of Voices. He ignored the way she was looking at his bandaged arm, shifting it away when she was close to grabbing hold of it. They let go of each other once they nearly reached the entrance. The bright sunlight aided them until a large shadow loomed over them to reveal a dark blue mountain banshee who hissed at Neytiri in particular. It had swooped down with its wings hitting against the close-knit trees but paid them no mind.

It quickly snapped its jaws at her and was about to tear her head off if Zazu didn't hold it shut. He pulled the creature away from the girl who had jumped backwards to avoid the banshee's wrath. Her heart rapidly beating against her chest and she couldn't fathom why an ikran would be all the way out here. She lowered her body, her tail swaying behind her as she waited for an opening to get the ikran away from the boy.

To her surprise, the creature had stopped any sort of hostile behaviour and bumped its beak against his cheek. Zazu laughed, hugging the banshee by the neck and running a hand down its leathery skin. His eyes crinkled from how big he was smiling and his joy spread to Neytiri whose previous frown had turned into a small smile. She slowly raised herself from her stance, taking a few steps towards the duo when the banshee hissed at her.

"She's a friend! We don't hurt friends," Zazu said, blocking the creature's line of sight by standing in front of it.

"They seem…protective of you. Have you bonded with them?" Neytiri asked.

"Of course! How else are you supposed to fly?" He smiled, tugging her along to where he then patted the top of Txon'ong's body.

He got on first, stretching his hands out for her to take and with slight hesitancy, she placed her trust in him. She felt herself get easily carried up and seated behind him where she had easy access to see how he didn't use tsaheylu and instead patted the ikran in the area between its neck and wing. He glanced back at Neytiri when he and Txon'ong got used to each other's familiar weight, a mischievous smirk dancing along his lips with his fangs peeking out.

"You might want to hang on," he warned.

Right as she was about to retort, Txon'ong suddenly took flight and she desperately clung onto Zazu who laughed at her shrill shrieks. The banshee thought to be a little more cheeky today and did a few tricks in the air, his rider's laughter only spurring him on. At this point the girl had her eyes glued shut and her face nestled into Zazu's back which only made him all the more giggly.

"Open your eyes you baby," he said.

Overhead, they could see Hometree getting closer by the second and viewing it from high up in the air was so much different from always being on the ground. She gasped in awe, a sentiment the boy shared as he landed them a few metres away from clan territory. Txon'ong was trying to sit himself properly in all the foliage while the two Na'vi got off him. He let out a cry of frustration, trailing behind Zazu when he turned around and ordered for the banshee to stay.

"I'll come see you later, just…stay here first," said the green-eyed boy.

He hurried out of the forest and towards the large tree, hoping no one had been finding either he or Neytiri during the time they've been gone. Unfortunately, nothing ever went his way and he heard Maru's authoritative voice calling his name. He groaned, slumping his shoulders forward which made Neytiri hide her giggles behind her hand. Her laughter was cut short when she heard her sister along with her mother.

"We are in so much trouble," Zazu exasperated.

"Is it too late to go back to your ikran?" She whispered.

Maru tugged on the boy's smaller ear, worry written all over her face. She clicked her tongue, pulling a little more harshly than intended, inciting a sharp hiss to leave the boy's lips at the feeling.

"Where have you been? It's been hours since Rai'uk last saw you," she interrogated, glaring harder when he had yet to answer her question.

"At the Tree of Voices-"

The Tsahìk was furious at his words and glowered at him as she took a step into his personal space.

"Why were you in such a sacred place?" She growled.

"Eywa called me, called us. I just answered," he answered meekly.

Neytiri quickly stepped in front of him to possibly try and spare him from her mother's wrath. There was no way for them to prove it was true but she knew what she saw at the site. The way he was so sure of where to go and his memories from months ago proving it was there that he always communicated with Eywa. He turned himself to her divine song and blended in so well that he may as well have been the wind.

"He is telling the truth. Through him I heard Eywa," the girl said, "I hear her strong heartbeat and all the love she has for her children."

Her bold statement intrigued the older Na'vi but before she could place a hand on the boy, a jaw full of sharp teeth snapped inches away from her fingers. Txon'ong had charged through the countless Na'vi gathering around, his large body pushing everyone away to protect his rider with his mouth open.

Doing the same thing he did to Neytiri, the banshee tried to crush the Na'vi who threatened his friend but Zazu held him back with an arm wrapped around his jaw and a soft melody being sung to him. The boy gently patted the ikran's head, muttering words of encouragement to the creature to get him to settle down. Many of the clan members who saw this gasped and Maru did as well but none approached the boy and his mountain banshee in fear of getting a few limbs torn off.

"What is going on here?" Eytukan raised his voice.

The people parted to make a path for the leader and he stared down at the dark blue banshee who hissed in response. Rai'uk ran up to the small group while his students waited in the crowd, watching with bated breath to see what would happen.

"This is…Txon'ong?" The hunter said.

The Na'vi with curly hair nodded, "He won't cause any trouble, I promise."

"When did you bond?" Eytukan asked.

"Long before you let me into this clan," Zazu answered.

"Please don't send him away! He's my friend!"

The leader raised a hand, seemingly having made his judgement and he turned to his mate who looked to have the same idea. He was the first to say his piece, calling for Rai'uk to teach the boy to hunt in the ways of the Omatikaya. Which meant Zazu would join the hunters-in-training and when looking over the small group, he grimaced at the sight of the one boy he was hoping to not see.

Still, this meant he was beginning to be trusted and as the crowd dispersed and he waved goodbye to Neytiri, his caretakers came up to him with different expressions. Rai'uk was more contemplative while Maru's was a mixture of disappointment, pride and worry. She sighed, shaking her head in disbelief and looked to the male beside her for help.

He stuttered over his words, "L-Let's go get your ikran rested."

Unspoken words were left that day but soon they would come back. Zazu didn't know what else everyone wanted to say to him or about him, whether having Txon'ong here simply raised his chances of getting bullied even more. His feelings couldn't match well with his thoughts but the one prominent thing he kept repeating in his head was how much he wanted to go back to the Tree of Voices.

Chapter Text

Stringing an arrow up and releasing it. This was an action Zazu repeated time and time again but his arrow would either miss the target, barely fly off a few inches forward or accidentally hurt him in some way. With his larger pointed hands, he clumsily adjusted his fingers to grip onto the thin wooden bow.

The boys to his right cackled at his failed attempts and he hissed at them to go away. This only encouraged them to hang around longer until Rai'uk and another hunting teacher ordered them to practise. Zazu was so close to snapping the weapon in two but held in his anger for a few more tries. He knew following the way of the Omatikaya was needed but dear Eywa did he want to use his spear.

He grumbled when his arrow missed yet again, only puncturing the ground right in front of the target. He kicked at the grass in frustration, ready to toss the bow into the nearest bush and calling it a day. He pulled back the string after lining up another arrow and waited for a moment to guess how far it might go while he made minute adjustments to his position.

"Your elbow is too low," someone said.

Zazu relaxed his arms and let the string go slack as he directed the weapon to the ground. He turned to his left and the familiarity of the Na'vi in front of him made him cock his head to the side. He squinted his eyes, thinking it might help jog his memory but nothing came up.

"Here, draw your weapon again," the other teen ordered.

Doing as he was told, Zazu got into position and felt his left elbow being pushed up to be in line with his other arm. He cringed at the feeling, disliking the strain it placed on his muscles and quickly shot the arrow when the boy let go of his arm. Compared to his previous tries, this one was much closer to the placed target and he smiled, turning to the stranger who had a blank look on his face.

"Good, but there is still room for improvement," the teen said.

He drew his own bow, glancing at Zazu to see if he was watching and lingering on his stance to then have his arrow fly though the air and hit the target in the centre. The display earned him a round of applause from the green-eyed boy.

"It's like you were born to wield a bow," he complimented.

The stone-faced Na'vi looked away, his cheeks burning a little more than usual under Zazu's expectant gaze. Eyes filled with so much admiration for the world around him and this was the first time the Omatikayan finally spoke to the newcomer. To be involved in the boy's life even a small bit left the heart wanting more and maybe it was because the Na'vi came from the sea or maybe because each time you saw him, something new seemed to happen.

From when he first came without a name to his unbothered nature when dealing with the boys who harassed him. Then he shows up with an ikran he had bonded with for months, saying he was answering Eywa's call. Blink and you'll miss it.

"My name's Zazu, what's yours?" The taller boy asked.

"...Tsu'tey."

Zazu beamed at the reply, taking Tsu'tey's hand in his and leaning in close with his smile still shown.

"Let's be friends, Tsu'tey!" He said.

Said boy quickly pulled his hand away in a fluster, noticing the despondent look that had formed when he did so. He held his hand close to his chest, his heartbeat sounding so loud to him that he feared others may be able to hear it as well. He calmed himself, fixing back the cracks in the walls he put up and addressed the Na'vi beside him with newfound confidence.

"Didn't anyone tell you not to casually touch others?" He sternly scolded.

Zazu's already sad look turned even sadder and he looked like a drenched cat from how downturned his lips were. He gave an apology, hanging his head in shame. A pang of guilt shot through Tsu'tey but he reasoned with himself that these sort of manners needed to be learned sooner rather than later. His left hand gripped his now tightly before loosening, a pattern he followed as he thought over what to say next.

"We can be friends when you master the bow," he said, turning away to walk off.

Zazu blinked in surprise, the hand holding his weapon being raised in the air as he used the other to point at it. While Tsu'tey might not have been able to see it, he could hear the boy shouting after him.

"I'll do it! I'll be a master archer in under a month!" He declared.

A bold claim which made Tsu'tey laugh and the curly-haired Na'vi stood there, processing what he had just said and muttered a string of curses over it. There was no way he was going to be an archery master under a single moon. He was practically setting himself up for failure and while he could ask Rai'uk for extra lessons, the man had to teach the other students and asking those in his class for help wasn't an option.

He groaned, squatting down as he curled up into a ball over his dumb decision. That is until he remembered the one person who could help him. His head snapped forward and a determined gleam shone in his eyes.

—

The moment Zazu was free he bounded to where he first thought Neytiri might be and smiled in victory when he spotted someone in the garden. Thinking it was Neytiri he called her name but when the female Na'vi turned around to face him, his smile fell and he let out an indiscreet yelp.

"Ah, sorry Sylwanin, I thought you were Neytiri for a moment," he apologised.

"No worries. I'm guessing you need her for something important," she said.

"Mhm. She promised me she'd teach me archery if I taught her how to ride a pa'li better and I could really use her extra lessons because I may or may not have told Tsu'tey I would be a master in under a single month," he rambled, his voice getting softer at the end as he truly realised how idiotic he was.

"Tsu'tey? Why would you try to challenge the clan's most promising hunter?" She asked.

"...Because he said we could be friends if I did," he mumbled, pressing the tips of his fingers together.

Sylwanin chuckled at his response but could empathise with his desire to make friends. Someone who was so out of place in the forest with Na'vi bullying him left and right, he needed others his age to talk to like Neytiri or herself. Tsu'tey was a good Na'vi, someone strong who cared greatly for the clan. He held himself to the highest standard and his poise wherever he went was with purpose and confidence. There was no doubt in her mind that he would be chosen as the next Olo'eyktan and since she was already training to be the next Tsahìk…

Her cheeks grew warm and she looked away from Zazu to calm her beating heart. Supposedly it was common for those in her position to have someone chosen for her but she never did like a formality of it all. She'd much prefer the idea of mating for love but if it was for the good of the clan then so be it. Sylwanin could see herself possibly loving Tsu'tey should their paths ever cross but it was also up to Eywa to show her the way.

"Are you sick? You look unwell," Zazu said, leaning down to get a better look at her face.

"I'm fine. It must be from the sun," the girl lied.

Zazu who was ever so oblivious to feelings of romance hurriedly led the chief's daughter to a shaded area away from the sun. He figured it would be better than to let her continue standing out in the heat where she could faint anytime. He wondered how those in the clan survived everyday if they were easily affected by the sun, or maybe it was just Sylwanin.

"I will get you water," he said but Sylwanin grabbed his wrist before he could get any further.

"I'm fine, I just need to rest," she assured. "Why don't you go find Neytiri instead? I believe she is at the stables."

The boy took a moment to discern her condition and nodded when she began shooing him away. He bid goodbye to her and jogged towards the stables where, true to her word, Neytiri was there. She was stroking the side of the horse's neck and making conversation with it. She stopped when she heard footsteps approach her and a smirk formed on her lips upon seeing who it was.

"I was about to come get you," she said.

"Glad that I came by first," he replied.

He led Tsmi out by the reins, patting the saddle and silently asking Neytiri to get on while he went to grab another pa'li. The creature grunted, stubbornly wanting to stay put even though it had been a while since anyone last rode it.

"Come on Kllte, you need the exercise," Zazu nagged.

The horse pulled at the reins but the Na'vi was adamant on having it move around. It took a few minutes and desperate begging for the mount to comply. By then, Neytiri and Tsmi were watching the scene in front of them unfold, much to Zazu's chagrin. He let out a heavy exhale, sagging forward from the amount of energy he just exerted and linked his queue with Kllte's. He looked to his friend who had already done the same and was waiting for him to get ready.

"Let's go at a faster pace than our last lesson," he instructed. "You go first. I'll watch how you flow with your pa'li."

Neytiri nodded, Tsmi galloping ahead according to her commands and the boy followed her the best he could. Kllte still hadn't warmed up after staying in the stables for so long so it was expected for him to be slower. Still, they weren't too far from each other for Zazu to have difficulty catching up. He observed Neytiri's back muscles tense up and how her posture, although much better than before, was still slightly hunched over as if she were unsure of herself.

They stopped by a creek and Zazu patted Kllte's neck, congratulating him for getting this far. He looked at his friend whose face scrunched up in frustration and could sympathise with her struggle. He patted her shoulder with an encouraging smile on his lips and she tried to give him one as well but her heart wasn't in the mood to do so.

"You're doing better, but you're too tense. Tsmi is like water while you are a rock. You must be water," he said.

"It's not that easy," she huffed.

"Then I'll teach you to become like water before we continue our riding lessons," Zazu patted Tsmi's head, "Let's return to Hometree."

The two of them peacefully chatted with one another before it delved into bickering like younger siblings and Zazu regretted telling Neytiri about his declaration to Tsu'tey.

"You are absolutely clumsy with a bow and you told Tsu'tey you'd master it in less than a month. Haha! I can't believe it!" She laughed.

"Haha, laugh it up. But if I do manage to do it, guess who gets to be friends with the greatest hunter? Uh-huh, it's me." Zazu puffed his chest out in pride.

"Or, you could give up. I wouldn't blame you," Neytiri suggested.

"I never go back on my word. I will be the best archer this clan has ever seen!"

The girl rolled her eyes, "Don't cry when he still doesn't want to be your friend."

—

Learning to be a pro at archery in under a month was a death sentence for the boy whose hands were too large for a regular bow. However, he was improving thanks to Neytiri and he grinned when his arrow finally struck the target after days of toiling. He looked around to see if anyone witnessed his feat, most of all if Rai'uk did, but he saw the man was busy teaching the younger hunters who had just joined.

A bitter feeling ate at his heart and he pouted. His fingers thrummed against the bow given to him and he turned his head away. He stepped back in shock when Tsu'tey appeared out of nowhere, eyeing the arrow which had struck the fruit put up as a target. The Na'vi with yellow eyes hummed, nodding at the small achievement.

"You did good," he praised.

Zazu stared at him for a second, his face showing no expression when suddenly all joy showed through his cheery expression and he leaned in close like he did the first time they met.

"You really think so? I've been practising everyday with Neytiri's help. I'm happy that my efforts are showing," Zazu said.

Tsu'tey kept silent on this, redirecting the conversation with a question he had, "...Did you mean it when you said you wanted to be my friend?"

"With my entire soul." Zazu placed a hand over his heart.

His self-assured attitude faltered and he looked unsure when thinking over the question posed to him. He looked Tsu'tey in the eye to try and discern what the boy's motive was but sometimes the easiest way was to ask directly.

"Are you having second thoughts?"

So bright, like a ray of sunshine that has decided to grace itself on a Na'vi lost in the dark and here, Tsu'tey had no need to live up to the expectations placed upon him. It would be rude to say that Zazu barely had a single brain cell in that thick-headed skull of his but it was this trait which made him all the more endearing to people like Maru and Rai'uk.

The young hunter wanted to say no but knew his father was against him interacting with the seaborne Na'vi, calling the boy an outsider mixed with other not so friendly words. He wondered if Zazu knew of how some of the people viewed him but could already see the saddened look forming in his head.

His silence was too long for Zazu and he looked at the sky to see it was nearly time for him to meet Neytiri. He awkwardly rubbed his arm, clearing his throat to gain the other boy's attention.

"I need to train Neytiri now. You're welcome to join," he offered at the end, internally cringing at himself.

He stiffly turned on his heel to go fetch the girl, his steps awkward and clunky until he stopped to run a hand over his face. If he told his friend about what happened during archery training, she was going to tease him to oblivion and laugh right in his face.

"Why did you stop?"

Zazu whipped his head so fast it startled the shorter Na'vi and the boy's green eyes shone so brilliantly that you might grow blind if you stared at them too long.
Before Tsu'tey could utter another word, an arm wrapped around his own and hurriedly dragged him off.
He could hear Neytiri's name being called soon after and they stopped in front of the girl who looked down at him in curiosity.

"Tsu'tey is joining us today. Now let's head to the waterway."

With both parties informed, Zazu led the teens to a waterway not far off from clan territory where countless anemonoid lived. It was one of his favourite places to be and he dragged the Omatikayans along to the bank before diving head first. He swam underneath while waiting for the other two to join him and when he saw Neytiri jump in, he waved hello, still remaining underwater for Tsu'tey.

He pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his elbows on them and placing his head on his palms. It was far too long for one Na'vi to enter the water and wondered if the master archer decided to head home. Breaking the water surface, he looked to where he left the duo and saw Tsu'tey kneeling on the ground in worry.

"What are you waiting for? The water's safe," Zazu said.

Tsu'tey was quick to raise his head and anger snipped at his tone, "I thought you drowned you idiot!"

"Ah, don't worry, I can hold my breath for a long time." He swam over to pull the forest Na'vi into the water, being careful not to overwhelm the boy.

"Now come, I'll teach you to be water."

He plunged under the surface, gesturing for them to do the same and directed them to follow him. This way, he watched Neytiri go along with the water's flow rather than fight it. Tsu'tey however, as adept as he was with weapons, was a floundering baby underwater. He kept having to come back up for air and was substantially slower than the other two.

Zazu grabbed Neytiri's attention, signing to her and pointing towards the struggling boy. She nodded and they returned to where Tsu'tey had his head above the water while drifting down the waterway. He flitted his gaze at the boy who was practically born to swim, his sheepish grin combined with a guilty heart making the teen want to scoff.

"I'm sorry, I should have taught you breathing exercises first," Zazu apologised, his hands grasping the training hunter's.

The difference in size was evident and yet the two fit so perfectly. Neytiri was already a distance ahead of them, waving a hand in the air to grab their attention and pointing in the direction of the shore. Giving her a thumbs up, Zazu led Tsu'tey behind him and placed his hands on his shoulders.

"It'll be faster if I swim us there so just hang on tight," he warned. "If you need air, tap my shoulder. So take a deep breath now."

On the count of three, the two of them each took a breath and submerged themselves into the water. Tsu'tey gripped on the best he could but ultimately resorted to wrapping his arms around Zazu's neck and being careful not to choke him. They moved through the water with such grace and speed, it was anything better than what Tsu'tey might have achieved. He tapped Zazu's chest and took a deep breath when they resurfaced.

They were close to the bank and after a few seconds of resting, they dived back under to then pop up a minute later. Neytiri faced them with a teasing smirk when they rose onto the bank together due to Tsu'tey still having his arms around the other boy. Zazu shook his head to rid of any water that stuck to his long unbraided hair, accidentally smacking his potential friend in the face and giving him a mouthful of hair.

Tsu'tey stuck his tongue out in disgust and hopped off Zazu. Despite this, the green-eyed boy was oblivious to what he did and looked at the Na'vi he was going to teach. He placed a hand over his own abdomen, gently patting the area and breathing in.

"You slow your heartbeat and breathe from here," he said, "It will take time to get used to but it will help you when you swim underwater."

"Can't we just swim along the surface?" Tsu'tey asked.

"Because it's different from being fully surrounded by water. Learning to move with Eywa's flow will help with the bonding process," Zazu answered.

"So, let's see you breathe."

He took a few steps back and fell back into the water, rising not long after and gesturing for the young hunter to come over. Neytiri rolled her eyes and pushed the older male towards the waterway upon seeing his reluctance.

"It's useful. Just as we impart our clan's ways to Zazu, he passes us knowledge from the reef people. It's a good learning experience," she said.

Tsu'tey watched her join Zazu and muttered under his breath, "I can't believe I'm doing this. Again."

He slipped back into the cool waters, shivering under the feeling and letting himself get pulled closer to the diving instructor. Zazu placed a hand on his abdomen as he did so with Neytiri, his green eyes shifting between the two of them while asking them to breathe.
The girl had no issues, having had a couple lessons beforehand to practise, not to mention she wasn't as self-conscious about the curly-haired boy touching him unlike someone else.

"Slow your heartbeat. Good Neytiri, I think we can have you resume your riding lessons soon," Zazu commended.

He removed his hand from her and focused on Tsu'tey instead, feeling how the boy's heartbeat was faster than what was needed and furrowed his brow in concentration.

"Your heartbeat is fast. Are you scared?" He worriedly asked.

The hunter didn't answer and instead took a deep breath, slowing his heartbeat well enough for the hand pressed against his stomach to retract. The warmth lingered on his skin and contrasted against the cold surrounding him. He missed the feeling and when he caught himself thinking that, he quickly snapped out of it and mentally cursed at his foolish thoughts.

There were rumours that he might be chosen as the next Olo'eyktan and while he wasn't one to indulge in such trivial things, it would mean he would be mated to Sylwanin when the time came. Unless of course, someone better fit for the role came along and Tsu'tey eyed Zazu who was idly floating in ignorant bliss.

It wouldn't happen. Sylwanin was still the best the clan had and Zazu wasn't even accepted as one of the people yet. However, rumours were rumours and there was a chance that someone else might be picked to be trained as the next Olo'eyktan. This way, Tsu'tey will get the chance to choose his own mate when he finally becomes an adult.

In truth, he was not ready for the countless responsibilities and would much rather stick to simple hunting rather than leading an entire clan. To be a leader is to be strong, to never show weakness even in the face of death. Hide every flaw behind a door and never let anyone see them because as a leader, the people can only see the best of you in order to feel safe.

If he could, he would very much like to be as expressive as Zazu. A Na'vi who cared not for appearances though was still polite when needed. So carefree without a single worry but maybe it was because of the boy's upbringing which made him this way. Deep down, Tsu'tey wanted to know all there was to know of the seaborne Na'vi who stood amongst the forest folk, even risking his father's ire.

And so he prayed to Eywa that the rumours were false.

He prayed that he wasn't going to be picked as Olo'eyktan for him to continue such simple memories.

Chapter Text

Another bullseye. Zazu cheered when he managed to strike five targets in a row and turned to Tsu'tey who decided to help with his archery training instead. Neytiri was currently visiting the home site of what the adults called, "Sky People". A species who were smaller than them in size and couldn't breathe the air of Pandora without dying in mere minutes. These were things he heard from the hunters who happened upon them or a little gossip he involved himself in with the girls of the clan.

He wondered if the tiny creatures knew how to shoot arrows or to ride a pa'li. Or maybe they were like little babies that knew nothing but crawling, though to be called Sky People, he assumed they could fly. He wanted to ask his training partner for more information but knew the boy only knew as much as he did. In the end Zazu's curiosity had to be satiated some other time.

For now, he focused on his streak and approached Tsu'tey with a large grin on his face. He knelt down a bit to be on eye level with the other Na'vi, eagerly waiting for some praise and all he got was an uneasy expression as Tsu'tey's ears twitched in agitation.

"It's good. Once Rai'uk sees your skill, I'm sure he'll have you join us for the next iknimaya," the boy said.

"Ah," Zazu took a step back with a hum at the man's name.

"It's the one you're attending right?" He asked to preoccupy himself.

"Yes. I heard you do not need to bond with another ikran but you will still join us for the Great Hunt."

The green-eyed Na'vi gasped at the last word, clasping his hands together in glee with his tail wagging like a dog's.

"Hunting! I can't wait to hunt with you!" He exclaimed.

His excitement was contagious and Tsu'tey couldn't stop the smile appearing on his face. He could envision he and Zazu being the clan's strongest warriors in the future. Hunting together, flying on their ikran together, teaching the young about what it meant to be a hunter. They would be an unstoppable duo if Zazu was accepted into the clan. The two of them would still have to go through Unilatron to truly be accepted and to then choose a mate.

He wondered who Zazu would choose amongst all the Na'vi their age. There was Neytiri who the boy was close to, the two of them seemingly acting like two young teens in denial of their love for each other. Then there were the many women in the clan, some good at embroidery and others with singing. Tsu'tey's pondering expression didn't go unnoticed by the curly-haired boy and a finger pressed against the shorter male's temple to stop the forming frown.

"You're worried about something. What is it?" He asked.

Tsu'tey dismissed it with a wave of his hand, "It's nothing. Just wondering when Mo'at and the children will be back from the Sky People's home."

"Sky People…" Zazu murmured.

He looked up at the clear blue sky, hoping to catch a glimpse of said creatures flying through the air like an ikran. Unfortunately there was nothing but clouds and he quickly gave up. With nothing much to do after, he was thinking of heading down to the waterways or to possibly take Txon'ong on an afternoon flight to stretch his wings. Anything other than sticking at Hometree with nothing to do.

Rai'uk was off on another hunt while Maru was helping to heal a few idiots who thought it was a great idea to eat toxic berries. He wanted to at least join the experienced hunter, knowing he was fully capable of scoring some meat for the clan. But time and time again, his caretakers would forcefully seat him down in the hammock when early morning came to make sure he didn't follow Rai'uk.

It was different than when he was alone and could do whatever he wanted. Then again it was due to not having anyone else to help him and so there wasn't exactly a choice to be made. There was a half-filled memory which he always thought back to. The way his caretakers babied him was reminiscent of the unknown woman in his past who cared for him like a small baby.

She taught him to swim while the unknown man whose words were muffled, would tell him stories of the ocean and all that lived in it. Then he would speak of the Na'vi who lived far from the islands and in the dense forests where the water could never be as deep as the ocean and their meals involving more fruits.

He wondered if the pair were waiting for him to come home. If they prayed everyday to Eywa that their son would return to them safe and sound. Zazu didn't think they'd do that when he believed it had been a few years since he woke up lost. But if he ever decided to return to the sea, would they welcome him with open arms? Or maybe they had already replaced him with another child.

The latter was highly plausible and at the thought of it, his heart didn't seize nor did it cry. He felt nothing and maybe it was because he had not fully recollected his memories. Left swimming in the ocean with no clear route, he didn't know what he needed to do in order to remember easier and Eywa certainly hasn't been giving him any clues.

"Now you're the one worrying."

Tsu'tey's voice snapped him out of his thoughts and Zazu shyly looked away, hiding his face in his hands and taking a quick second to replace his expression with a more cheerful one.

"I'm just thinking about the Sky People. Do you think they're nice?" He redirected the question.

Tsu'tey knew what he was doing but went along with it. His tail swayed as he thought back to the times he caught sight of the tiny people during his hunts. The needless bloodshed and how it spills onto the ground and they leave the animals there to suffer without giving them a proper sendoff.

"They don't respect Eywa. They tear the forest down with no remorse. I have seen it," the boy answered.

"No wonder Eywa has been crying. I wish we could send the Sky People back to their home," Zazu said.

He sighed, taking a seat on the grassy ground beneath him. He patted the spot next to him, smiling when Tsu'tey did so and the two of them were touching knees by that point.

"We'll probably meet them someday. I wonder what they look like," he wondered aloud.

"You shouldn't get curious. They might hurt you if you get too close," his friend warned.

"I'll be very careful. You must be careful too, I wouldn't know what I'd do if you got hurt," Zazu confessed.

"You-" Tsu'tey stuttered, punching the other boy's arm as he got up. "Have you no shame?"

Those were the last words said to him as the dark blue Na'vi left for Hometree and Zazu simply sat there with a confused expression on his face. He let out a string of random words, raising his arms into the air as he shouted after the leaving hunter. 

"What did I do?!"

He didn't get a reply and he laid on his side, groaning in frustration at the boy's sudden change of attitude. He scoffed to himself, thinking about how Txon'ong wouldn't treat him this way. Na'vi of the clan were so difficult to understand and just when Zazu thought he was getting the hang of it, Tsu'tey always knew how to make his life harder.

He was thinking of asking Neytiri when a good time came but soon the thought of it slipped his mind when a few days after, he and many young Na'vi started to get sick. His body felt absolutely lethargic and his body was in pain. He could barely open his eyes and when he did, he would only make eye contact with the leaves shielding them from the sun.

Rai'uk and Maru would come by to check on him but there wasn't a cure for this unknown ailment. He wondered if this was his time to die after eating random poisonous fruit during his time alone. Maybe he got too cocky and now this was the consequences of his actions catching up to him.

He grunted when a hand raised his head up in order for him to drink water. He weakly turned away from the leaf Maru was holding in her hands while Rai'uk turned his head back to its previous position.

"You must drink," the man said.

"Leave me. I'm going to die soon," Zazu rasped out.

"You won't. Mo'at won't let you. I won't let you." Maru teared up.

"Calm. He won't die yet, he is strong," Rai'uk comforted his mate. "He's our strong warrior."

She took a deep breath, letting out a shaky exhale and gently brushing her knuckles against the side of Zazu's face. It had been a little over two months since the boy came into their lives and if the issue wasn't solved soon, he would quickly leave to be with Eywa. So headstrong but he was no different than the children of the clan and Maru held back her tears, afraid she may lose another of her kin.

"...Yes, he's our strong warrior. Our Zazu."

After being forced to drink some water, he was laid back down and the days continued to pass. The sickness got worse and more of the clan had to be taken care of. Now even the older Na'vi were getting affected and none were spared from the spreading illness.

Zazu could no longer stay conscious, already too sickly and tired to do anything. Sleeping sounded much better and his mind sunk into a state of limbo, far from the land of the living and in a floating state. The mindscape shifted into hues of ocean blue and he could see he was underwater, the sunlight reflecting onto his skin from above and he squinted as he brought an arm up to shield his eyes.

Fish curiously swam near him and nibbled at him before swimming elsewhere. He continued to go along with the current until a voice called for him and for the first time since entering this dream, he raised his head out of the water.

The bright sun had been replaced and the clear blue sky was now dark blue with the moon greeting him with its shine. He heard the voice again, this time to his left and wondered if he should follow it. Zazu knew it wasn't Eywa but whoever was calling him sounded so familiar. His body drifted upwards and now he was so far from the ocean that there was nowhere else to go but up. He looked to the sky and coming straight for him was a gigantic sea creature.

It didn't change directions and opened its mouth wide, the voice he heard coming closer as the creature did as well. His name chanted over and over again like a prayer, his flesh burning away until there was only bone and in his chest laid his soul for all to see. He let out a final breath and soon he was eaten by the large whale.

—

When Zazu remained unconscious, his caretakers grew more worried and Maru was already panicking from the moment he was ill. She wept into her mate's arms, screeching about how she couldn't lose another kin and helplessly clung onto him for support. Mo'at had to usher them out of the healer's hut to let the woman get some rest.

So far the clan had created a cure with help from one of the human scientists but when administering it to the unresponsive boy, he had yet to fully recover. All the other children and adults were close to recovery but Zazu hadn't even reached the halfway mark. He was still feverish and every once in a while, he would start coughing until his body decided it was time to stop.

Neytiri visited him at night with Sylwanin, the younger of the two talking more and relaying about what was happening in the clan so far. She talked about a new school for the children to learn the Sky People's language. She would tell him about books and the strange material they were made with, thinking he would enjoy reading should he ever join them.

Her words moved on to Txon'ong and how agitated the banshee was. Constantly pacing about, crouching and curling into a ball at times. This behaviour most likely wasn't going to end until he found out if Zazu was fine or not. Sylwanin also added in her own recounts and tried to teach her sister's friend about English and of the funny incidents which happened in the school.

Rarely would his peaceful expression change and when it did, it happened to be in the presence of Maru who couldn't bear to leave the boy just to call her mate to come see. His fingers and toes would twitch and his ears would flick as well, indicating he was subconsciously gathering information from his surroundings.

This time when everyone else was out of the hut for the night, Tsu'tey came to visit. He reached a hand out but held it back and placed it on his lap. Mo'at had said Zazu was recovering steadily but he still worried endlessly over the unconscious boy. Who's to say Zazu wouldn't end up taking his last breath while asleep? What if the illness affected him so much due to his deviated biology that he would never wake up again?

So many worries plagued Tsu'tey's mind and he didn't have the answers to them. Only more questions piling on top of each other each time he visited his friend.

"The…The school. You must have heard it from Neytiri. We're learning English from a woman called," he paused, pursing his lips as he tried to pronounce the name. 

"Grooace Augoostine."

His English still wasn't the best but had been improving with each lesson he took. He was sure Zazu would have enjoyed being in the educational building and learning all that was taught. Tsu'tey could already see him asking all sorts of questions and practising his English with Txon'ong.

A simple life but first he would have to overcome the sickness brought by the Sky People. The English teacher was also one of these tiny species but was able to walk amongst them with crafted bodies.

A dreamwalker.

No doubt would Zazu welcome them with open arms, knowing how it feels to be isolated from the majority due to appearing different. A heart too big for his own good, similar to Sylwanin and it was easy to see how the two complimented each other should they ever hang around more. In fact, Zazu and Neytiri also had a lot in common, what with their mischievous attitudes and the time they spent training together.

It was a lot more than Tsu'tey himself and he wondered why Zazu would ever want to be friends with him. From the start, it was laughable and confusing. He didn't know why someone like him would want to be friends with someone said to be a grump. Unless of course, he didn't hear what others have said then by all means it was understandable. But still, even after his curt answers in the past, Zazu still reached out to befriend him.

A warm feeling settled in his stomach and he finally traced the back of Zazu's hand with his fingers after gaining the courage to touch him. Tsu'tey hummed, moving on to talk about the Iknimaya and how it was starting soon.

"I hope you wake up before it but, I don't even think Maru will let you go after recovering from an illness," he lightly chuckled, thinking of Zazu trying to escape the woman's hardy grip.

"When you're well, maybe we can ride our ikran together. That will be good, yes?"

Tsu'tey didn't have much else to say. Well, in actuality he did but didn't know how exactly to word everything in his head. Watching his friend lie on his deathbed made the yellow-eyed Na'vi frustrated. Angry at himself for not being able to do anything with the sorrow attached to his fragile heart which wasn't ready to say goodbye to the teen who had made a place in his life.

"I will see you tomorrow," he said.

He left Zazu with a gentle bump to the forehead with his own, leaving the hut to head to sleep in the upper chambers. At that moment, a shuddering gasp escaped Zazu's lips and his slow breathing chest stilled.

—

In the mindscape, the boy felt like all the air in his lungs was punched out of him and he desperately swam to the surface for oxygen. After the whale had eaten him, he ended up in the deep sea over a hundred feet underwater. Further than anything he's ever gone to and now it was starting to drag him down.

No matter how hard he tried to reach the surfaces there was only more darkness and he didn't know how much longer he could hang on. His vision was failing him and his time was running out. He guessed this was his final moment. Death by the one thing he loved the most and he mustered up all his energy to curl up into a ball. Eywa embracing his dying body felt warm to the touch. He revelled in it, inviting her to consume all that he is and have him return to the soil.

However, the heat continued to rise and he furrowed in pain from the stinging sensation. He couldn't take it anymore, especially when it made him want to puke. His chest heaved erratically as if ready to hurl whatever was in his stomach and his eyes were glued shut while doing so.

Water entered his lungs and the feeling translated to his body in the real world where his groggy mind turned his body to the side to puke whatever was making him suffer. There was nothing but gastric fluid and his sudden action scared the girl who was tending to him. He blankly stared at her, his mind fuzzy with barely anything going on inside.

Sylwanin was quick to lay him back down and called for her mother to help. Strange figures danced in his line of sight, his eyes struggling to stay open but feared the slow approaching death waiting for him in his dreams. His hands trembled, reaching out to someone, anyone to ground him in this reality.

He could hear words being spoken outside and blurry people walking up to him. Hands touched his body and made him drink something. It only further encouraged him to puke again but somehow he managed to keep it down and his right hand twitched for someone to hold. A lone tear trickled down his cheek and he closed his eyes for the night.

To say he was ready to die would be a lie. He knew it was inevitable and he accepted the previous instance was his final path. But after seeing the real world again, he wanted to so desperately cling onto Maru or Rai'uk, to sob and tell them he didn't want to die just yet. He didn't want to die, so he hoped they wouldn't let him go.

His death was not clean and he was slowly suffering with only pain to his name. At this point, they should have put him out of his misery but he still lived. Maybe Eywa told them not to or they couldn't bring it in themselves to kill someone of the same race. Whatever the reason, it didn't matter because Zazu was sure he was going to die again.

He was pleasantly surprised at the cooling sensation on his body instead of the fiery hot burns he was getting before. The mindscape parted from the darkness it shielded him in and he opened his eyes to the dimly lit hut where he was tucked in with a large leaf and the bandage on his forearm was taken off. He dragged his arm up to his chest, looking over the wound and finding it to be swollen and covered in a salve.

He stopped his observations when Mo'at entered, her eyes trained on the sickly boy who weakly smiled at her in greeting. She sighed, shaking her head in disappointment and taking a seat beside Zazu. She checked his condition, noting how the swelling of the gash wound was still horrible but was getting better.

"Do you know you could've died?" She said, reapplying the salve over the wound.

Zazu knew that, he felt it in real-time. Guess he was so busy with training that he never got the chance to wash his wound again after that one day. He grimaced after realising he was practically dying because of a simple infection. How ironic it was and reminded himself to thank Mo'at for healing him. He chose to sit up but was easily pushed down by the older woman.

A tight-lipped groan rumbled in his throat and even if his head was still swimming, he wanted to go out and see what he'd missed. Maybe he was asleep for years and next thing he knew, he was watching his friends settle into their roles. Neytiri becomes a hunter alongside Tsu'tey while Sylwanin would be Tsahìk with her mate as Olo'eyktan. He would no longer be so young and maybe his body had grown taller while his hair would be longer as well. Would Txon’ong still be around? Or would his friend have flown elsewhere to live a more adventure-filled life away from the clan?

He was far too curious to stay still and his constant fidgets made themselves known to the healer. She pinched his bicep to have him stop and he yelped, halting his ministrations for a short bit before starting them again. Another pinch was given and he got the message.

Zazu laid there for however long, getting tired once it was done and promptly falling back asleep. His caretakers rushed to the hut the moment they received the good news and they were met with the sight of a sleeping teen.

"He's still weak, give him time to rest," Mo'at advised.

Rai'uk knew that but it didn't stop him from leaning in close and hearing the quiet snores coming from the boy. Back when Zazu was still in unstable condition, there was barely a single sound made from him and this little thing was proof he would heal.

"He's snoring!" He happily whispered to Maru.

She looked at him in surprise, leaning towards Zazu's face and hearing what her mate described. Her tail swayed in joy and she beamed at the man who brought her into a hug. While some parents may never truly understand the fuss of it all, to them, this was their sign from Eywa that all will be fine.

Chapter Text

It had been a few weeks since Zazu woke up but was still stuck in the healer's hut according to Mo'at's orders along with his caretakers'. Ever since he came down with the sickness brought over by the Sky People, he wasn't allowed a single step outside Hometree, afraid he might contract something worse or get hurt. It was easy to see why he would grow bored and latch onto his only friends who gave him entertainment.

"Sylwanin, can't you convince your mother to let me out?" He whined, gripping onto the girl's shoulders.

"She does. You're just too lazy to get out." She rolled her eyes with a chuckle.

"But whenever I do, most of the children are at school and all I can do is train," he pouted.

"Well…maybe we can persuade the adults to have you learn with us but Maru is sure to keep her foot down," she said.

"She can't keep me bedridden forever! I'll fly away with Txon'ong and we'll be free!" He exclaimed.

Sylwanin laughed at his childish behaviour, already able to see how he and Neytiri got along so easily. She was sure if the other children gave him a chance they would get along due to his inviting personality. His entire being feeling like the cool water on a warm sunny day and refreshing you whenever it feels like your worries are piling up.

Sometimes she wondered if Zazu himself had any fears within him but with how carefree and jovial he presented himself, it was difficult to grasp if he truly did and maybe in the end he didn't have any. She found herself envious of him. Being able to go around without needing to care about any big responsibilities other than possibly hunting or gathering food.

If she wasn't someone born to the Tsahìk and Olo'eyktan, she wondered if he would even approach her or simply pass her by. Whether they would even be interacting with each other like right now where he was merely a boy and she, a girl. Sylwanin stopped thinking over the what ifs of it all, not wanting to dampen her mood over what might be.

"Well, since I'm here, how about we take a walk around Hometree?" She suggested, extending a hand for him to take.

He eagerly clasped his hand over hers, pulling her along to the best of his ability so that he could see if anything changed while he was sick. His feet stumbled over the other and he had to stop a few times to get his bearings until Sylwanin said to walk slower so that he wouldn't trip. He pouted at her statement but knew she was right and did so accordingly. His hand was still holding onto hers as they passed by other Na'vi where some eyed them and others simply ignored the two.

"Say, the annual hunt is coming soon right? Do you think I'll be ready enough to join them?" He asked.

"That will be up to my mother but also up to Rai'uk if he'll let you participate," she answered.

He stuck his tongue out at the reply, already imagining his caretaker vehemently disagreeing and forcing him to stay put. He let go of the girl's hand, intertwining it with his own and placing them at the back of his head where he then sighed in disappointment. He was hoping he'd be able to join them, especially considering this was after Tsu'tey would get his own ikran and he wanted to hunt together with his friend.

"Well, I guess it can't be helped. There's always next time." He shrugged, turning to Sylwanin with his usual smile.

"So, what's it like learning that new language? I mean you and Neytiri have talked about it before but I want to know more!"

"Is it true your teacher is one of the Sky People? Tsu'tey says she has five fingers, is that also true? Oh- Oh! What about those books you read from?" He spouted, asking one question after the other in order to satiate his curiosity.

Sylwanin had to bring a hand up to his mouth to get him to stop talking but even after doing so his muffled voice came through. Her ears pointed upwards with a deadpan expression which prompted him to finally shut up.

"To answer your first question, yes. Ms Grace is one of the Sky People but she uses a Na'vi body to better teach us. Though, it still holds traits from their true self and so they have five fingers," she explained.

"We read English from books and we also learn other things like painting. Ms Grace is a wonderful teacher, I think you and her will get along well."

"If you say so. I can't wait to meet this Groace you praise so much," he said.

Sylwanin snapped her fingers together at the idea she suddenly thought of. One finger pointed to the boy, her soft smile turned into one of pure delight as she offered to teach him some English words so that he could use them when he finally joined her class.

"So that you won't be behind," she said.

Zazu gasped, clasping both her hands in his at the prospect of learning something new. His tail wagged in excitement and his pupils dilated in glee.

"Really? I can't wait! I'll be the best student you've ever had!" He cheered.

The girl hummed, his joy being something contagious and she couldn't stop the warmth in her heart from filling the rest of her body. She placed one hand over her chest, her yellow eyes looking over the boy before glancing at the sky.

"Since I have time, I can teach you a few words. Would you like that?" She asked.

"Of course! I can't wait to rub it in Neytiri's face when I start to understand whatever she's saying."

He hopped in place, grabbing Sylwanin's wrist and leading her to a spot near the stables where the sun shone brilliantly. Zazu patted the flat rock for her to sit on while he sat on the grass, head propped up against his palms and eagerly waiting to learn his first English word.

"Let's start with, hello. It's a greeting the Sky People use," she said.

The next few hours were spent teaching the foreign language and during the short breaks, Zazu would tell stories of his time spent alone in the forest. Swimming with the fish and hunting by himself, there was never a day he stood idle because to move is to stay alive. The feeling of your heart thundering in your chest and the leaves which graze against the skin, all reminders that you are living and breathing in the world.

There were times his body grew deathly close to stopping but be it Eywa or the work of a miracle, he survived. Truthfully, he expected to die the moment he got sick but it seems Eywa continues pushing him to live. So if he exists, surely there is a reason. And when his purpose ceases and he takes his final breath, he sees himself thanking Eywa as he returns to her arms.

He always liked to think of her as his mother but knew she wasn't just his. She was a mother to all who lived here and she was not exclusive to him only. He thought back to all the children and their parents, wondering what it was like to have a mother. Someone who you could rely on in times of need, someone who would sing you songs in the night and play with you as a child.

His voice grew softer until he kept silent, his gaze turning to the pathway leading to the creek. This change did not go unnoticed by Sylwanin and she leaned forward to gauge his reaction.

"Is something wrong?" She queried.

He shook his head to disagree but paused for a moment to ruminate over his feelings.

"What's it like having a mother?" He finally asked.

Sylwanin looked at him in surprise, quickly erasing any trace of it in case he took it the wrong way. Pondering over his question, she never had to think twice about what it meant to have her parents. They were there from the start and there was no need for her to question it but here Zazu was, asking her what it meant to have her mother by her side.

Supposedly she felt grateful to have the older woman guide her. To care for her and love her in turn because what greater blessing is there than a child you have birthed?

"Having a mother is like having someone look out for you constantly. They lecture you but from the goodness of their heart. They are someone you can go to in times of need," she answered.

"Is it because you miss yours?"

"I think I would if I remembered her," he instantly replied.

Silence enveloped the teens and he forced out a smile, a short exhale of air leaving his nose as if he let out a laugh. Looking at the chief's eldest daughter, he playfully nudged her arm with his as a cue for her to lighten up.

"It's fine if I don't remember her. I'm sure she's waiting for me out there and I'll just have to find her," he assured her.

Sylwanin grabbed his hand, gently squeezing him to comfort his troubled heart. She couldn't lie and say she understood what he was going through when it was clear that they have walked different paths in life. So all she could do was remain as a pillar of support for the one she called her friend.

While the two of them were in their own world, Tsu'tey was approaching them with orders given to him by Maru. His stomach churned at the sight in front of him but he couldn't pinpoint why exactly he felt horrible about it. Perhaps it was because of the needless worry Zazu gave him when learning he wasn't in the hut or because Tsu'tey wasn't the first person the curly-haired boy thought of hanging out with.

His frown had yet to disappear when he got closer. He cleared his throat, earning the other's attention and hiding the sudden anxiety in him. He half expected Zazu to become angry at the prospect of having his time with Sylwanin being interrupted but instead, the boy perked up and waved at him with vigour.

"Hey Tsu'tey, I'm learning English!" He exclaimed.

The hunter cursed his jealous thoughts. Time and time again they came up to doubt his worth to the seaborne Na'vi when there was nothing to overthink. He slowly let out his worries with a deep exhale, moving towards the duo with a calmer expression.

"Maru told me to come get you," he stated.

Zazu immediately slumped his shoulders forward, a groan leaving his lips with a tired sigh at the end. He let go of Sylwanin's hand to cross his arms together and a small burden was lifted from Tsu'tey's shoulders at the action. He didn't think much of it, figuring that he simply disliked seeing his friend acting so casually to the clan's Tsahìk-in-training.

"Is she trapping me in the hut again?" Zazu asked.

"No, she wants you to help her gather fruits…and maybe to scold you for running off," the other boy responded.

Another groan came from the taller Na'vi and he got up from his seat, stretching his stiff limbs while making his way towards his fellow hunter. He waved goodbye to Sylwanin who returned the gesture but since the yellow-eyed boy believed he was taking too long, he began dragging Zazu away by the arm.

"I'll see you next time!" Zazu called out to the girl, giving her a final wave goodbye.

Tsu'tey poorly hid the growl threatening to come out and his friend immediately had a smug look on his face. He snickered at the boy's angry features, wringing himself free from the iron grip and looping the same arm over Tsu'tey's neck.

"Aw, are you jealous?" He cooed.

"I am not," the hunter argued.

"It's okay Tsu'tey, you'll always be my closest friend. Uh- one rank below Txon'ong though but other than that, you're my best Na'vi friend."

The smile Zazu gave him followed by the way he gently held his hand, if it weren't for the chatter of the clan who milled around Hometree, Tsu'tey might have believed them to be the only two Na'vi here. His throat became dry and his heart thumped against his chest, wanting to come out and sing whatever it is he is feeling. Could Zazu hear his heartbeat? Could everyone else hear it too?

"I thought Neytiri would be your best friend," he said.

He hoped his voice was steady and gulped down any saliva which might have gathered in his mouth. He looked at the Na'vi with light blue skin to discern how he felt, and maybe deep down Tsu'tey wondered if they had the chance to spend the remainder of their lives together before adulthood weighed on them.

"She's more like a younger sister. An annoying one at that." Zazu rolled his eyes with his tongue sticking out.

Tsu'tey unknowingly let out a relieved sigh, his tense muscles able to relax after receiving the information and held himself in a more confident posture. He linked hands with his friend and began leading him to where Maru was, his tail upright and his heart lighter than before.

—

If it was because of Zazu’s heritage that made his friend act weird around him, he would understand. He would be hurt but he would understand why Tsu’tey was so awkward around him. At first it wasn’t anything too obvious but as the days went on and he continued living here with the Omatikaya, he wondered why the other boy was so standoffish at times. He didn’t have a way to explain Tsu’tey’s actions and so he did his best to ignore it.

"You won't be able to finish it if you're distracted," the woman lectured him.

"I'm not! I just have a lot on my mind," he huffed.

"That's called being distracted. Honestly, what's so important that you need to think over it so much?" She asked.

"You wouldn't get it," Zazu mumbled.

The woman rolled her eyes, "Just say whatever is ailing you. I won't judge if you're worried about me doing so."

The boy let out a dramatic sigh, placing his unfinished work on the floor and leaning back with his arms balancing his body. He saw how the woman awaited his answer and he let out another sigh, earning himself a sharp pull at his ear as a distressed sound escaped his throat.

“Ay- I’ll tell you already, just let go!” He squawked, grumbling to himself when she finally did so.

He leaned forward, looking expectantly at his teacher with his big green eyes.

“How do I know if someone hates me?”

It was a question she wasn’t expecting to hear from the boy but seeing the way he looked at her, he wanted a concrete answer he could understand. She had an inkling the children might be bullying him again and was thinking of confronting the group. However, she hadn’t seen Zazu interact with anyone else other than the chief’s daughters and Tsu’tey.

“Why are you asking?” She found herself asking.

“Because Tsu’tey is acting all weird around me. I thought we were friends so maybe now he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore? But he would tell me if he didn’t want to, right?” He said, panicking at the prospect of losing a friend.

“Explain,” she ordered.

Zazu hummed, “There was that one time he was all angry and dragging me away from Sylwanin. I thought it was because he misunderstood and was thinking that I was replacing him-”

He suddenly gasped, realisation dawned on him when his questions might have inadvertently been answered through his rant. He looked to his teacher and to discern if she might have picked up on what he was putting down but it seemed she was still clueless about it.

“Maybe he likes Sylwanin in that way and was jealous I was spending time with her!” He freaked out.

"Nina! What do I do to salvage my friendship?!"

She lifted a hand and pushed him back to sit when he was leaning in too close for comfort. She rubbed her temples together, pondering over the information he had given him but all she could think was that her student was a complete idiot. Then again, it wasn't in her interest to find out whatever love woes the teens in her clan were going through.

If anything, it sounded like Tsu'tey was jealous of Sylwanin but who was she to involve herself in such personal matters. The least she could do was give advice and it was up to Zazu to see if he would take it.

"I suggest asking him directly. Have you even done that?"

Silence was her answer and she shook her head in disappointment. She flicked the boy on the forehead, forcing him to gather his materials and get up on his feet.

"Come back to me when you finally ask him. Now shoo." She waved him away, ignoring his puppy dog look and glaring at him to get a move on.

He shuffled along and kept his head down low while fiddling with the half-finished armband he was making. He quickly kept it hidden behind his back when he saw the children returning from the school and waited for his friends by the entrance. Rocking himself back and forth, Zazu didn't know how to ask about Tsu'tey's behaviour without getting an angry response from said boy.

If what he was thinking was true, then it may very well begin to tear their friendship apart and he didn't want that! It most likely meant that Tsmi would take over Tsu'tey as his second best friend and while Zazu didn't mind it too much, to have only animals has his friends sounded quite sad. He was surrounded by Na'vi similar to him, others who understood him and could share deeper wisdom. He couldn't give it all up so fast now that he's had a feel for it.

Having friends he could run around with and talk to without it being a one-sided conversation at times. Being able to learn more about the other person, from themselves to their family and what they like to do. The different personalities of each clan member led him to enjoy the atmosphere created from it whenever he would partake in the evening meals and sit next to Tsu'tey.

But if his fellow hunter wanted nothing to do with him, then either he fought for their friendship or it was a sign to finally give up and take a few days off to cry about it. He silently groaned, faking his smile when Neytiri came up to him first while Sylwanin and Tsu'tey walked side by side at a slower pace.

"How was school?" He asked.

His lacklustre mood was certainly picked up on by the girl and her eyes glazed over his face where he couldn't hide his ears pointing downwards and his tail which was tucked between his legs.

Zazu could see her scrutinising gaze and sighed, "I can never get anything past you."

"More like you're too obvious," she snickered, suddenly turning serious.

"So why do you look like you're about to cry?"

The boy cringed, his eyes squinting together while his lips were pulled into a thin line. He didn't know how to go about answering her question and even if he did, she wouldn't have the answers. The only person he needed to ask was spending time with Sylwanin and he didn't want a face full of bared teeth and a knife to his throat.

Still, he gave in with a shrug of his shoulders, hoping his younger friend might give him insight with that child brain of hers.

"I think Tsu'tey hates me," he confessed.

Neytiri guffawed at his statement, struggling to stop the wheezing laughter she was making and coughed into her fist in order to calm herself.

"If anything, he likes you too much." She stuck out her tongue in disgust.

"Then why is he acting so strangely around me? He always cuts our conversations short and whenever I say something, he just storms off! How does that mean he likes me?" He hissed.

"Just confront him about it. Seriously, you boys and your feelings," she scoffed.

Zazu looked at his two other friends, seeing them talk to each other with Sylwanin smiling at Tsu'tey while the boy returned the gesture with a simple nod. His hands fiddled with his weaved project, his heart growing heavy from the unknown aching in it. He disliked the feeling this gave him, wanting to run away and pretend it didn't exist.

Maybe he was wrong about Tsu'tey being jealous. Maybe it was himself who feared the idea of being replaced. Because then it would mean he was not needed and was deemed useless. How was he supposed to prove his worth as a friend when it came to the trivialities of love? Does he stop interacting with Sylwanin? Or does he stop interacting with the potential couple all together?

He took a deep breath, wiping at the tears threatening to fall and he looked away in shame. The rest of his friends would nearly reach him and his raw heart could not bear to stay any longer.

"...I will need to think. Alone," he stated, heading to the Tree of Voices just as Tsu'tey came to greet him.

"Where is he…" The yellow-eyed boy muttered.

Neytiri sighed, "You're a complete idiot."

—

Zazu stomped through the glowing forest, his ears pointing downwards as his lips curled into a snarl. He despised the negative emotion his heart was subjecting him to. He didn't understand any of it and with a frustrated yell, he threw his half-finished weave somewhere in the sacred site, his hands coming up to pull at his hair to silence the screams in his head.

He wanted to punch and kick at whatever was closest to him but bottled up all the anger in fear he may hurt one of Eywa's many facets into the world. He cursed at how useless he was in the middle of it all and plopped down on the grass where the hanging vines tickled his skin.

They brushed over his back and called to his aimless self, his hands coming up to feel the leaves and hearing the soft whispers with each touch. He continued stared at them with a vacant expression until he brought out his queue to connect with one of the vines.

"Why does my heart hurt, Eywa? Surely I have not fallen ill again," he whispered.

He placed the back of his hand against his forehead but there was nothing wrong and it left him with more questions than answers.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm the reason why all this is happening right? Then what do I do?" He cried.

"...What can I do?"

He detached himself from the vine when it was clear the knowledge spared wasn't what he was searching for. At most, the burden on his shoulders felt lighter from sharing his woes but he knew it would weigh twice as much once he returned to the clan. Zazu sighed, sitting on the ground and was tempted to lay down on it fully for it to start eating him.

Too dazed in his worries, he failed to hear the footsteps approaching him and he only realised once the perpetrator's shadow loomed over him. He hissed, unsheathing his blade to defend himself as he crouched into a lower stance.

"Calm. It is only me," the familiar voice said.

He relaxed his shoulders, tucking his knife away when he recognized his caretaker. She held her hands up, taking careful steps and settling beside him when he gestured for her to sit. He curled into himself, his knees pressed up against his chest and the side of his head resting on them.

"I heard you might be troubled by…a situation foreign to you," she said.

"Tch, Nina," he sneered.

"As your…" Maru trailed off, starting over her sentence, "I wish to help, if you'll let me."

"Sometimes Eywa does not give us the answers we seek if our hearts are in a mess."

"Then are you saying you know how to solve my problem?" Zazu scoffed.

"If you tell me, I might. It is up to you if you will accept what I give."

The boy nervously fiddled with the hair braided around his queue, unsure of how to word it properly when he kept thinking over Neytiri's words. He stared down at his feet, one finger tracing over the skin to centre his thoughts.

He relayed everything he had experienced with Tsu'tey along with today's events where he still remembered the pain in his chest when seeing his friends. Sorrow swirled inside him and he didn't know why. There was no exact reason why he should be feeling this way so why was he subjected to it?

"I think an ugly part of me wants to tear them apart to feel better about myself," he said.

"But what do you think will happen after?" Maru asked.

"...I'll feel worse. They don't deserve my anger and jealousy. But! If I don't do something about it, my friendship with Tsu'tey will be on the line! Ugh! Why won't he tell it to me straight?!" Zazu groaned, clutching the sides of his head in distress.

Seeing the teen worry over someone liking him, she chuckled at the similarities between her past and the current events. Her laughter made the green-eyed boy frown, his bottom lip jutting out with his arms crossed together.

"You know, the way Tsu'tey acts reminds me of Rai'uk when he and I were younger," she said.

"Him? But he's so outspoken and-" Zazu tried to further explain his description with flailing arms.

"When we were your age, he was a moody hunter who always shielded his heart. Whenever he was embarrassed, he would run away from me and when he eventually fell in love, he constantly avoided me." She smiled at the memory.

"I'm not saying Tsu'tey might be in love with you but maybe he has difficulty in showing his emotions. These skills take time and patience, things that you have a lot of and can help him with." She placed a hand on his shoulder, looking down at him with sympathy reflecting in her eyes.

Zazu took a deep breath, nodding along to her words.

"You're right," he breathed out.

She smiled, patting his shoulder as she got up on her feet. The sun was beginning to set and the trek back to Hometree was going to take a while if they were going to make it in time for dinner.

"Let's go. I heard they're cooking fish tonight," she said.

She walked away from the tree first, her ears standing at attention to hear if the teen was following her and so far he had only stood up. His feet were unsteady and there was hesitance in his movements. A stammer left his lips and Maru turned around curiously to see what was holding him up.

He held his hand in front of his forehead, gesturing it downwards with his gaze kept steady on the woman in front of him.

"I see you, mother," he said with his voice barely above a whisper.

But she heard it loud and clear. Her heart thrummed in shock and it showed on her face before it morphed into joy and she smiled at him with her own hand doing the same gesture.

"I see you, my son."

Chapter Text

Rai'uk had heard Zazu call his mate mother but whenever it came to him, it was always his name and never father. Of course he knew it would never come easy but he did wish the boy would warm up to him soon. To be called father, it sounded like something right out of a dream and he wanted to hear it over and over again if Eywa would allow it.

"Dear, stop pouting. Zazu will call you father when he sees you," Maru assured him.

"We both know he won't. I haven't been acting like one, especially during the training sessions," he sighed.

"I'm a horrible substitute father."

"Good that you know. Now go teach him something. Fly on your ikran or hunt together." She smacked him upside on the head and shooed him off to go find the child.

It didn't take too long to see Zazu practising his archery with Neytiri, the latter helping with a more advanced trick involving shooting two arrows at once. He failed but it didn't stop him from trying again. Such perseverance was what Rai'uk loved in the child but he would never say it aloud. It didn't feel like it was in his place to do so and he cleared his throat when he approached the children while ridding himself of any gnawing thoughts.

Zazu lowered his head in respect, an action while warranted, was not something Rai'uk wanted to see but bit back his tongue.

"I have been practising for the Great Hunt. You do not need to concern yourself with me," he said.

The seasoned hunter had an expression mixed between pride and disappointment, his cheekbones raised while his lips were curled downwards and the area between his brows creased together. His tail swayed in agitation but he did his best to keep it under control, remembering what his mate had said.

"I believe you have long recovered from the illness so today, you and I will go hunting on our ikran," he said.

"Eh? Did Mama say I can?"

Rai'uk gulped at the honorific, ignoring the pity party his brain was throwing for himself and placed his hands on his hips. He smirked at the teen with faux confidence, gesturing to Hometree with a tilt of his head.

"I wouldn't be saying it if she didn't. So, are you in or not?"

Zazu quickly turned to place his hand on Neytiri's shoulder with a determined nod being directed to the girl. She shook her head with a sigh but waved him off to which he beamed in delight. The two of them silently split ways and the young teen quickly followed his caretaker who was telling him where they would hunt on the way to the ikran resting nest.

The man didn't know what else to talk about considering most of their conversations involved either hunting or whether the boy was eating enough. How ironic that he was the first to find the boy and here he was struggling to even communicate with him.

At least they reached their ikran so there wasn't a need to constantly fill the silence between them. Rai'uk's ikran nudged his jaw with its snout while Txon'ong leapt on top of Zazu to give him all his affection bottled up over the weeks. Hearing the boy laugh, it made the hunter's heart swell in joy and pride knowing someone so lovable was under his care.

"Let's head out. We can start with some flying practice," he instructed.

He helped to set the new saddle on Txon'ong while he answered every question Zazu had about it. The curly-haired Na'vi was still unsure about it but knew it would possibly be beneficial in the long run so he kept quiet about it, admiring the craftsmanship and running his hand over the material.

He turned to look at Rai'uk who was now wearing a mask looped over his ears with a pair of insect wings acting as lenses to protect the eyes. In his hands was another mask albeit smaller and in the middle was a thin bone to secure the centre. Zazu looked at it in awe, his fingers ghosting over the item and looking to the older male for confirmation.

"It's yours," Rai'uk said.

Zazu held his breath, gently taking the mask from his caretaker and admiring the work put into it. He marvelled at the creation, carefully slipping it on and feeling how it settled on his head perfectly.

"It's perfect," he whispered in awe.

"How do you feel?" The man asked.

"Like a proud hunter."

Rai'uk nodded at his statement, "Carry that feeling with you always."

He mounted his ikran with ease, waiting for the teen to do the same and once Zazu found a comfortable position, the two of them took flight to the farther regions away from Hometree. The boy followed his caretaker's lead, looking down at the forest floor and reaching a hand out to feel the wind against his palm.

They were going at a significantly faster speed than what he was used to but from the way Txon'ong weaved about, the ikran was delighted to quicken his pace to match that of his senior's. The unbraided parts of Zazu's hair whipped in waves and for a moment, he saw himself swimming underwater with his hand grabbing the leather crafted handle attached to a sea mount.

He could see the flashes of coral and fish swimming past him, the reflection of light shining into the water and he raised his other hand, effectively letting go of the handle tied to the base of Txon'ong's tendrils. In Zazu's eyes, he was diving deep into the ocean depths where something out there was waiting for him. It was calling to him like an old friend and he wholly embraced it with his entire being.

The voices became louder and he chased it with all his might, hands splayed out to grasp onto the incorporeal wisps coming towards him. He didn't hear Rai'uk calling his name or how he had sped past the prey they were supposed to hunt. To him there was only the breath he held underwater as he swam farther and farther from home.

What he failed to remember was that he was currently seated on an ikran going at speeds faster than he could ever swim and his feet lost balance from where he perched them. He cursed as the wind grew too strong and he was thrown off his ikran with a final yell for Rai'uk to help him. His imaginary world of the ocean started to fade and glimpses of reality made itself known with the crashing waterfalls and dense leaves getting closer by the second.

He could see Rai'uk swooping down to catch him but the boy feared it was too late. His heart hammered against his chest from the sheer amount of fear overtaking his body and tears leaked from his eyes. He held one arm out, desperately wishing to be saved and the air in his lungs was sucked out of him when a larger hand pulled him up by his left bicep.

"What were you doing?!" Rai'uk scolded.

"I'm sorry- I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry," Zazu sobbed.

The man clicked his tongue, frustration brewing in himself for not acting fast enough and his angered look only increased the fear in Zazu's heart. Rarely had he seen such an expression taking form but knew he hated every bit of it and if he could turn back time, he would.

Shame ate at him as he was forced to sit in front of his caretaker like a baby. Rai'uk hollered for Txon'ong to fly back which the banshee followed, his own shame and guilt residing in him for letting his rider get thrown off. The pair of Na'vi kept quiet with the sound of beating wings drumming the rising tension between them.

When they landed on the upper chamber, Zazu was carried off the ikran by his armpits and dropped onto his feet. He hung his head low, hiding his pain when the older male gripped his shoulder while looking over his body for any injuries he could have sustained while mid-air.

"...Go to your mother," he ordered, glaring at the seaborne Na'vi.

Zazu did so without any counter, his head dipped down while heading to the staircase.

"Wait."

He widened his eyes and wondered if Rai'uk had a change of mind. He saw the man come closer and one hand reaching out towards his face to which he shut his eyes in anticipation. He expected a pat on the head for doing his best but instead he felt his riding mask being taken off.

"You won't be needing this."

Shame flowed in his veins and he scurried off to quell the embarrassment overtaking him. After he seemed to be out of sight, Rai'uk sighed and growled at his own incompetence. He slapped a hand over his forehead, hissing at the previous events with how close he was to losing the child.

"What was I thinking?" He muttered.

Zazu took a deep breath, the tears he held back during the flight home were returning tenfold. He puffed out his cheeks while descending the stairs, walking off into the jungle the moment he reached the bottom. His strides matched with impatience and he stomped his way towards the waterway where he then kicked at the surface to vent out his anger.

His hands harshly clenched into fists to the point where his knuckles turned pale and he hacked out his lungs when his sobbing interrupted his flow of breathing. An ugly sound was made when he inhaled and he frowned through his blurry vision upon seeing a few figures approaching him.

A hand harshly pulled at his queue, a strangled scream leaving his lips while the young Na'vi from all those months ago came into clear view. His smirk and those confident movements of his. It was obvious he saw himself and his gang as better than the boy who was busy crying his heart out.

"Haha, look at him! What a baby!" The leader mocked.

"Leave me…alone…please," Zazu said.

"And miss the chance to ridicule you?" He laughed. "I heard you made Rai'uk angry. Probably because you're a crybaby."

"I am not!" Growled the green-eyed boy.

"Then prove it! I dare you to catch a srakat by eclipse!"

Laughter rang all around Zazu and he hissed at the bully, smacking the arms of whoever was behind him. His queue was pulled on again and he cried out in pain, his tear-stricken face being the source of pure entertainment for the group of boys.

"Leave him alone you idiots!" Tsu'tey yelled.

The use of English caught the group slightly off guard and Neytiri used the given distraction to kick at the boys' ankles and send them stumbling into the water. Zazu jabbed his opponent in the stomach, shoving the other male away and hissing as he unsheathed his knife to further intimidate any stragglers.

"Remember our little dare, crybaby!"

Zazu fended the main bully off with one final hiss, all the anger in him having subsided and leaving him feeling like an empty shell. He clicked his tongue, a deep exhale coming out his nose and he looked up to the sky in hopes it would help his troubled mind.

A srakat. He had caught one a long time ago when he was much rasher and got unnecessary cuts from testing fate too many times. He knew he could hunt another one if it meant those boys would leave him alone but most of all, it would prove his worth. After all, only the most courageous of hunters go to catch this fish and not everyone would come out victorious.

"Are you okay?" Sylwanin asked.

Her fingers grazed over his injured shoulder and he couldn't stop the pained whimper that came out. He stepped away from her, his back bumping into Tsu'tey and Zazu nearly fell from how quickly he turned around. Before he could get away, the hunter had grabbed his uninjured arm, his yellow eyes boring into the boy's green ones and a mixture of emotions swirled in them.

"You're hurt," he stated, his gaze fixed on the sore shoulder.

"I'm fine. It wasn't from those boys," Zazu said.

"We need to bring you to Mo'at before it gets worse."

Zazu ripped his arm away and held it close to his chest. He could already see his mother and caretaker worrying over him again but most of all, the disappointed look on Rai'uk's face. Because how can a hunter get hurt so easily? What sort of skilled hunter gets scratched and bruised up just from something simple?

He stuttered over his words, taking a deep breath to calm himself. Mostly it was to stop the tears ready to flow out again.

"I'm fine," he repeated. "I need to go now."

Without a horse or a banshee, travelling to where he had to go would take time by foot, especially if he was to return with his catch. He ignored his friends calling for him and never looked back at them, too caught up in his own battle to pay attention.

Tsu'tey was ready to follow his friend deeper into the forest, his one hand looking to be reaching out until he remembered he wasn't alone. He looked at the chief's daughters and could tell they were all feeling the same thing. He slightly bowed his head, gesturing to the direction Zazu took.

"I will speak with him. It's best if you return to Hometree," he said before running off.

Zazu was already far away from where they first gathered and it took a fair amount of effort to locate him in the dense greenery. He was only found when the sound of sniffling was picked up on and Tsu'tey made his footsteps louder to alert the other boy of his presence.

"Go back. I don't need you here," Zazu ordered.

"And leave you to get hurt again?" Tsu'tey frowned.

His hand brushed over the fin-like structure coming from the forearm and he looked up at the Na'vi whose entire self encompassed the sun. His shedded tears looked like crystals as they fell to the ground and despite all the pain, there was beauty in such rawness.

"There is no shame in showing weakness to those close to you," he said.

"I am not weak," Zazu seethed.

"I'm not saying you are. But even the strongest cry."

"Rai'uk doesn't cry," the curly-haired boy muttered under his breath.

"He and Maru were crying when you were sick and unconscious," Tsu'tey deadpanned.

Zazu kept quiet after that, squatting down and taking refuge by a tree trunk. His tail curled around his legs while he hugged his knees together. He avoided Tsu'tey's gaze but felt their skin make contact when the boy sat next to him. They basked in the comfortable silence interrupted ever so often by the cry of an animal.

He finally turned his head the other way, his eyes lingering on the hands smaller than his and with his right side being the closest, he gently pried Tsu'tey's fingers free and held them. He admired every bit of it, from the forming calluses to the smooth skin and the striped markings less fluid than his own.

He rubbed a thumb over the back of the hand while he was in his own world. Trying to find the right words to say, his silence only made Tsu'tey flustered and had the hunter wanting to flee so that he could keep his heart steady. His tail flicked in agitation and his breath was caught in his throat the moment Zazu looked at him.

"Do you hate me?"

The question confused the teen and the yellow-eyed Na'vi could only wonder how he came to that conclusion.

"Of course not! What idiot is telling you such lies?" He growled.

"None. I just thought you did because you keep running away from me," Zazu said, "At first I thought you had other things to do but maybe it's because I look different. Even if the whispers die down, I know they look at me like a stranger."

"All they see is an outsider, someone who shouldn't be here. I'm not pulling my weight enough and just today I made Rai'uk angry when I fell off my ikran-"

"What?!"

"I don't understand. I don't understand anything happening! Why we're friends or why I'm being cared for when I can't even prove my worth! Nothing makes sense! I am not se-"

"I see you!" Tsu'tey shouted.

The two boys gasped for air, fresh tears streaming down Zazu's face and he wiped them away but they kept coming. He stood up abruptly, trying to stop his sobs when his hands were taken from him and intertwined with Tsu'tey's. The shorter boy ignored the wet feeling and focused on the distress painting Zazu's features.

Tsu'tey cupped the sides of his friend's face, bringing it down and placing their foreheads together. He let out a shuddering breath, his gaze focused on the ground beneath them as he mustered up the same courage from before.

"I see you," he said in his people's language.

Zazu didn't return his words but he placed his hands atop the other's, his green eyes shining in contentment.

"The srakat live close by, come," he said, dragging Tsu'tey along to the large lake where they could see the fish corralling in groups.

"It's dangerous," Tsu'tey warned.

The taller Na'vi smirked, "I know."

He placed one hand on the hilt of his blade while the other held his friend's hand. He gently squeezed it to comfort the boy and the light which had disappeared from his eyes returned with a mischievous glint.

"Watch me, won't you?" He whispered.

"Always."

He walked towards the lake as he stretched his limbs, popping his shoulder back into place and groaning at the shock. With a final grin, Zazu unsheathed his knife and dived into the lake swarming with gargoyle fish. While they might be considered dangerous to the average forest-dwelling Na'vi, for someone born to swim in the water, his vision was far better and could avoid the few fish who swam over to get a nibble out of him.

He expertly swerved through the water and slashed his knife at the unsuspecting srakat. The armour was much tougher but he used the first strike as a way to gather the creature's attention. Zazu continued to avoid the other fish hoping to interrupt his focus but he easily dodged them as he led his prey further away from the group.

Once they were far enough, his eyes narrowed in concentration and his hand gripped the handle tightly. The two of them swam in circles until the dark grey animal boosted itself and came at the boy with its shape teeth ready to chomp his head off. He knew its movements, already ducking down and stabbing his knife right into its underside where its heart was located.

It thrashed in the water at the protrusion, small splashes forming on the surface and Tsu'tey sat there worried. He nervously nibbled at his bottom lip while Zazu was still underwater. He twisted his knife, plunging the sharp weapon deeper and feeling the fish fall limp and weigh down on him.

He smiled, tucking his knife back and wrapping his arms around the srakat's torso to bring it up. When the splashing had stopped, Tsu'tey had grown even more worried, especially when it felt like hours had passed rather than the few measly minutes it actually was.

His ears perked up at attention when he saw something breaking the water's surface and swimming towards him was Zazu who had a triumphant grin on his face. In his arms he could see the srakat he had heard many hunters struggle to hunt due to their fear overriding their senses. And yet, here the novice hunter was, one of the most dangerous prey in hand as if he hunted a hexapede.

"You did it!" Tsu'tey exclaimed with a smile.

He hurried over to his friend's side and helped lug the creature onto the shore. When he was younger he had seen them being hung up for the clan's next meal and never got close enough to look it in the eye. But now it laid in front of him, its red eyes burning in the setting sun and the humanoid face formed by the folds atop its skull didn't look as scary as before.

"Beautiful right?" Zazu smiled, "And now we bring it home to cook it!"

He hoisted the fish over his shoulder, looking back at Tsu'tey who nodded for him to take the lead. They took a nice stroll despite the glimpses of daylight slipping through and the nocturnal hunters awakening soon. They would soon near Hometree but Zazu stopped walking and busied himself with pulling out the srakat's tooth.

"Wait, I nearly got it," he said, jabbing the back of his hand into the top row of teeth and earning himself shallow wounds.

"You moron! What in Eywa are you-"

A hand held a tooth up to Tsu'tey's face, urging him to take it so that green-eyed boy could focus pulling out another one. The young hunter silently gasped, taking the tooth and feeling how coarse it was in comparison to its smooth looking exterior. He glanced at Zazu who was wrenching out the tooth beside the one he first pulled and wondered if he knew the implications of offering this to him.

And if he did, then what? Tsu'tey found himself at a loss for words and prayed to Eywa for a sign. For something which might give him some sort of reprise from the bubbling emotions he struggled to unpack.

"There we go!"

Zazu finally got himself another tooth, readjusting the srakat on his shoulders once he was done and held the small item in his bleeding hand.

"I'm going to add it to my songcord, what about you?" He said.

Tsu'tey looked at the tooth he wanted to crush so badly. Because if he did so, maybe it would clear up the confusion in him. Why he kept thinking about Zazu and his beaming smile to his tender touch and fragile heart.

"I'll add it to my songcord too," he replied.

The brilliance brought forth by Zazu's expression of joy had him regret whatever he thought about doing before. He prayed again to Eywa to give him strength in these trying times because he might just crumble if Zazu smiled at him like that again.

The shouting from Zazu's caretakers took away the boy's attention and his once cheerful look formed into one of restlessness. His ear flicked in agitation and he didn't know if he should continue to hide or to confront the two adults. He didn't get much of a choice when they found him first and he shrunk into himself the moment he made eye contact with Rai'uk.

"You went to hunt srakat?" Maru questioned.

"I wanted to catch one…for Tsu'tey," Zazu answered.

"I-"

A hand was placed on Maru's shoulder and effectively calmed her down. Rai'uk shook his head and she backed down from interrogating the boy any further.
With hunts came wounds and the older male encouraged his mate to bring the prey to the cooks with Tsu'tey. She looked between him and their child, wary to leave them both alone but Rai'uk assured her with an understanding nod.

Zazu pouted, waving goodbye to Tsu'tey who did the same and his stomach flipped from all the anxiety when it was finally him and his caretaker alone. He could only imagine the disappointment washing over him in waves to drown him and not to forget the anger he might receive for doing something considered foolish in the eyes of Rai'uk.

"Come," the man commanded.

The teen didn't ask any questions, meekly following orders and entering the familiar hut where he spent his sickly weeks in. He sat down on the same hammock he laid in and felt the cold ghostly hands which gripped at his arms. Their touch disappeared when his hand was gently turned over to check for any more damage.

Rai'uk silently worked to apply the cool salve over the wounds, a burning sensation which the boy winced at. He held back a whimper, unable to fully relax his left shoulder and feeling the muscles swelling underneath.

"Did you really catch a srakat for Tsu'tey?" He asked as he wrapped up the wound with a long leaf.

"...No. Well, sort of. I did it so that you'd be proud of me," Zazu mumbled at the end.

"Oh Zazu…" Rai'uk cooed.

He brought the boy's head towards his chest, letting him lay there to hear the hunter's rhythmic heartbeat.

"I'm already proud of you. So proud."

"Then why?" The boy muttered.

"Because I never wanted you to be a hunter. I wanted you to do so much more like learning how to cook or learning embroidery. I didn't want you to act on your survival instincts alone," the man said.

"But I see I was wrong to take hunting away from you. You were made to hunt and it makes you happy. So from now on, I'll be a better teacher…a better…guide."

He raised himself up, patting Zazu on the head before packing up the healing supplies he used. The boy watched him, his eyes slowly blinking while the nictitating membrane washed over them.

"Thank you, Baba."

Chapter Text

Love. A rather broad term that Zazu could never understand all too well. Sure he could understand his parents' love but when talking with the girls his age and those around him, they would sometimes talk about their crushes and people they liked. He could never wrap his head around the concept but still he listened and would put in a word every now and then. From what he could gather, to love someone romantically was like your entire body was on fire, like you were high above the clouds when with the one you loved.

The girls told him it would be easy to see whether someone was already in love from the way they gazed at a specific person. Even if that someone was the same way to everyone, there were specific actions that broke such a routine and maybe Zazu was able to find that in Sylwanin.

He didn't know when she had fallen in love, maybe he would have the answer should he ask Neytiri. But he remembered the day when it all clicked. He was waiting for his friends to return from school yet again, waving at them when he saw them emerge from the shrubbery and towards him. Neytiri was always first to greet him, followed by Tsu'tey and finally, Sylwanin.

He noticed the way she looked at the other boy. That sort of brilliant shining light in her eyes and when she turned to look at him, it had turned into something more friendlier and polite. Like he was of lower status as compared to Tsu'tey in her eyes and was this what love made someone out to be? To put someone up on a pedestal as you gaze upon them in hopes they would one day return such affections?

Or maybe she was on the same level as Tsu'tey while Zazu was a few steps lower. He was her friend and he would never do anything to cause her harm but still, it was painfully obvious how differently she saw him and for some reason it seemed to hurt the heart of the green-eyed boy.

As of right now, he could still see signs of her pining for the stone-faced hunter and he doubted it would stop any time soon. His hands continued to work on fixing the broken baskets, a task assigned to him by one of the gatherers in the morning. His hands meticulously patched the hole up as his mind raced with thoughts about everything happening so far. From crushes to tonight's dinner, he mostly had trouble comprehending the idea of Sylwanin being together with Tsu'tey.

He frowned, not knowing why exactly he hated the thought of it and set aside one of the finished baskets as he laid down on the grass. He looked up at the sky, the sun's rays being blocked by large leaves that served to hide him from anyone passing by. Of course, there would always be a specific someone who'd be able to find him and he let out a meek yelp when he felt something touch his leg.

He sat upright, pushing the leaf away as his eyes met with Tsu'tey's yellow ones. The boy in front of him had a playful smirk on his face and he easily dodged the kick Zazu sent his way.

"You scared me! I thought something else had gotten me," the curly-haired boy huffed.

"It's your fault for leaving yourself open. What would you do if a nantang came to bite you?" Tsu'tey replied with his hands on his hips.

"This part of the forest is safe, you just worry too much," the taller boy dismissed.

The forest Na'vi sighed, taking a seat next to his friend with the back of his hand brushing against the underside of the leaf. He looked down at the other baskets with minor holes in them as Zazu took one to start fixing up. That far off look he had that was easily recognizable to those close to him and Tsu'tey leaned forward, his head turned to the other boy as he hesitated to reach out.

"...Your shoulder..is it fine?" His fingers brushed over the area.

Zazu nodded, "Mo'at checked it. She only said not to put so much strain on it. I'll live."

"You're lucky. If it was any worse, you might have lost an arm," Tsu'tey said.

His concern was understandable and the reef Na'vi relished in the feeling with his eyes locked onto his friend's. He tried to think of why his heart hurt at the thought of Tsu'tey being with Sylwanin and hoped that the other would have the answers should he seek them out. Maybe he was afraid of being left behind. Two of his friends getting together meant lesser time he'd be able to spend with either of them.

Eventually Neytiri would have her own mate, leaving him all alone with no one but Eywa who would keep him company. He knew he was not strong when it came to this. He felt as though he would wither away when the time came but he wanted to at least feel that he mattered somehow.

Tsu'tey flicked his forehead to get him to pay attention.

"You're thinking hard about something. What is it?" He asked.

"Even if I told you, you wouldn't get it cause your head's full of training," Zazu replied.

"It is not!" Tsu'tey frowned.

The boy with lighter skin rolled his eyes, "If not training then the Great Hunt."

Speaking of said hunt, it was to start a few days from now. Zazu had begged to participate but unfortunately Rai'uk was dead set on having the boy rest until he had truly recovered in full. So while Tsu'tey and his father were off having fun soaring through the skies, he was stuck waiting for them. There was always next year he supposed. He just wished he could contribute a lot more. He felt like his bout of sickness had made him useless and useless people would then be discarded.

There was no use for someone who could not do anything. In this clan, he had no true standing. He did not have the status of being a warrior's true son nor the prestige held by having a special talent not many others had.

He was simply Zazu.

Plain ol' Zazu who came from the reef and struggled to remember much of himself.

Maybe if he was someone important he could truly understand the minds of those in the Omatikaya. To know what they felt and be able to relate to all that they gossiped about. Decoding even the toughest of subjects like one of love.

He glanced at Tsu'tey, idly listening to him talk about the upcoming festival for the hunt and that same sting in his heart came up again. Maybe he already knew the answer to why it was or at least he was coming to a conclusion on the matter. But it was clear that soon he'd have to make a decision. Then again, maybe this feeling of his was a phase. One that would soon pass like the tides of the ocean.

For now he would continue to bask in the presence of his friend and not let his mind wander. He would keep his heart close and not let it pursue a fruitless endeavour lest his heart hurt too much for him to bear.

—

The day of the Great Hunt came and many hunters got onto their ikran and pa'li with their weapons at the ready. Many were still talking to friends and family just like Rai'uk was with his mate and son. Zazu would pay attention to the older male but his gaze would flick to the crowd to try and find Tsu'tey instead.

There were words he wished to say to his friend but it seemed that he wouldn't be able to do so anytime soon. He focused his attention on his father just as the man patted him on the head.

"Keep your mother company, okay?" Rai'uk said.

"I know. Make sure to stay safe, Baba," the boy reminded.

Maru was quick to butt in, "Keep watch for any trees. Last time you weren't paying attention and nearly crashed."

Rai'uk's ears stood up with his teeth bared in a grimace. His tail was tucked between his legs and Zazu snickered at the man's obvious embarrassment.

"I won't crash into any trees. In fact, I'll hunt the most talioang today and dedicate them to both of you," he said.

"I will be sure to prepare it for you when you bring it back," Maru replied.

A hand tapped on Zazu's shoulder and he turned around to see who it was. His eyes lit up in glee upon finding that it was Tsu'tey who approached him and he gave the other boy a wide grin in response.

"Are you excited for the hunt?" He asked.

Tsu'tey nodded though a part of him was somewhat nervous with what he was about to say next. He gulped, nervously tapping his fingers against his closed fist as he steeled his nerves.

"My first kill. I wish to dedicate it to you."

He said it all too softly that one might not even be able to hear it but thankfully Zazu did. The reef Na'vi tilted his head while he continued to smile before letting out a short hum of agreement.

"Sure. But if you ever decide to dedicate it to someone else-"

Like Sylwanin.

"Then I don't mind either. But thank you for thinking about me," Zazu said.

Tsu'tey nodded, "Wait for me."

The other boy lightly giggled, "I always do."

The Great Hunt began and Zazu began to help out with preparations for the festival after. His mind wandered while thinking over what his friend had proposed to him and thought of it as too good to be true. He understood his father's declaration but Tsu'tey? While they were friends, he didn't think they were that close for such dedication.

He just didn't understand. Again.

Maybe he should ask Eywa for some wisdom soon. He knew she would not judge him for his lack of knowledge nor would she shame him for this feeling of his. The ugly emotion which festered in him like a parasite ready to burst right out of his chest. He did not wish for it to pop out when he least expected it, especially in the company of his friends. They did not deserve to view such vile filth residing in the deepest parts of his soul.

Zazu did bump into Sylwanin at some point and he greeted the girl with his usual smile which prompted her to return one of her own. Whatever awkwardness he felt was not shown nor picked up on by the other party as she stuck around him in order to make conversation.

"So they didn't let you join?" She asked.

The tall boy shook his head, "No…Besides, you'd know that if I did, I'd already have told you."

Sylwanin let out a light chuckle at the statement. She knew it was true and just thinking of it was funny. Zazu's enthusiasm and cheeriness was infectious. Like a mini sun who could easily brighten up your day with a single smile. Perhaps that was what made him so endearing to others. Like pure innocence needing to be protected or rather than innocence, more so someone who despite having gone through hell alone, was yet to be marked by the horrible reality befalling the land.

The eldest daughter believed that she could change the way humans think. Or at least, to partner with humans to build a better future for both their species without needing to destroy Eywa and her children. In her eyes, Zazu was a child, a little sibling who, just like Neytiri, she had to protect.

Sure he was taller and possibly older, but he was also reckless and still held the mannerisms of a child. Within their friend group, Zazu and Neytiri were the younger siblings she and Tsu'tey had to keep in check and the idea of it made her satisfied.

"You know, there's a tradition of hunters dedicating their kills to those they wish to court. Would you do that for anyone in the future?" She asked.

The curly-haired boy thought back to Tsu'tey's declaration for a moment but discarded the memory to focus on answering his friend's question.

"I don't believe so. At least, not now. I think it's too early to say that I have anyone I want to be with right now," he replied before turning the tables on Sylwanin.

"What about you? Anyone whom you wish to court you?"

A delicate blush coated the girl's cheeks and she covered the lower half of her face with one hand. She giggled a little while her ears faced downwards in embarrassment.

"I guess you could say that." Her fingers brushed over her braids and a soft smile remained on her face.

The sight of her infatuated look sent a horrible feeling to gnaw at his gut and he forced himself to smile. He made sure his ears flicked up and looked at Sylwanin with what he hoped were eyes filled with joy rather than the unknown evil in him.

"It's Tsu'tey, correct?" He said.

His statement made Sylwanin even more flustered with her tail moving from one side to the next at rapid speed.

"Is…Is it that obvious?" She whispered.

Zazu forced a closed eye smile with a laugh escaping his lips from her reaction. Or rather, he could stop himself from laughing because he was right. He patted his friend on the back, still smiling as his fangs peeked out a little.

"I won't tell him. I'm not into meddling with people's love lives," he assured.

"If I force it, it'll only backfire. That's how I see it."

Sylwanin heaved a sigh of relief, "Thank you, Zazu. You're a wonderful friend."

Her words only made him force his smile even more. He casually brushed his fingers over one ear to then comb down his hair to make sure he was emoting correctly. He could never be too careful when it came to such delicate feelings.

"You're a great friend too, Sylwanin! I'm glad we're friends," he responded.

His fake smile would turn genuine with a certain softness in those ocean green eyes of his. While he had no clue of his disgusting disdain towards Sylwanin and Tsu'tey being together, he was truthful for his appreciation of the girl in front of him. The person who stuck with him when he was sick and dying, the person who taught him a new language and the person who wouldn't judge this ugliness in him.

But he could not show it to her. Because what if he was wrong and she wretched at the sight of it? He didn't think his heart could take it.

"You're wonderful. I'm sure Tsu'tey will say the same."

Yes. Compared to himself, Sylwanin should be someone Tsu'tey spent more time with. She was beautiful, kind, patient and many other things. Things that he wasn't and could never be. He thought of himself as kind sometimes, but maybe he actually wasn't. Maybe the kindness he thought he had was nothing more than malice in disguise and used in order to gain the trust of others.

He found himself revolting. Like a dead carcass with maggots eating through his skin. His pale hands with blood caked underneath his nails as a telltale sign of the frantic clawing at his chest to rid his agony. Tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes would speak of the sadness rooted in his heart but he had no reason to cry.

He would continue to bury such feelings deep down inside of him. Though he felt them tickling at the edges of his throat to have him scream into the void, he kept them hidden for he did not want to be ostracised for such behaviour. Zazu held himself together as the day went on and finally it was time for the festival where food and drinks along with the art of dance came in full swing.

The boy sat with his parents, staring into the bonfire with nothing to do in particular other than to wait. Tsu'tey had told him not to take food from anyone just yet before running off somewhere. That was at least five minutes ago and Zazu's stomach was beginning to growl.

"Come, eat. Your father hunted this," Maru said as she held a sliced piece of meat up to her son's lips.

"But Tsu'tey told me not to. He wanted me to wait," he huffed with his arms crossed together.

The woman rolled her eyes, "That boy is having you starve at this point."

"But maybe he wants to do something really important so I should listen, right? I trust him after all."

Zazu was quick to perk up when he caught a glimpse of Tsu'tey approaching him with two large leaves carrying cubes of cooked meat on them. The boy salivated at the sight of the food and Maru turned her attention to her mate in order to give the children some privacy to themselves.

"Here." Tsu'tey handed the leaf with bigger pieces to Zazu.

The reef Na'vi nodded in thanks and quickly popped a piece into his mouth out of sheer hunger. He hummed in delight, the juiciness combined with his hunger made it taste absolutely delicious.

"It's good. Really good," he said, "Here, let's exchange."

Zazu quickly gave Tsu'tey some of his pieces and took a couple small ones off his friend's plate. Of course, he thought nothing of the action but it clearly made Tsu'tey flustered.

"But what took you so long to get it? There's a lot of food to go around so it'd be easy to get some," he asked.

Tsu'tey took a bite out of his meal, slowly chewing it to savour the moment he was granted with. He swallowed after thinking over his next words but didn’t dare to look Zazu in the eye.

“It is from my first kill. I did tell you I was going to dedicate it to you,” he said.

Zazu softly smiled and a light chuckle slipped out, “I didn’t think you were serious but I appreciate it. I will do the same for you when it is my turn.”

The darker-skinned boy wanted to question his friend. To ask if he even knew what it meant to dedicate his first kill just like that. Tsu’tey knew why he did it even if it was still all too complex to fully understand but for someone as simple-minded as Zazu, he wouldn’t be surprised if the reef Na’vi did it just because they were friends. He was sure that if he wasn’t there to accept Zazu’s dedicated kill, it might have gone to someone else like Neytiri or Sylwanin. All because the four of them were friends.

Tsu’tey was sure that the other boy wasn’t even thinking about how good a provider he was or how skilled he must have been to have hunted a talioang with such fatty meat. Maybe he shouldn’t have expected too much. He barely knew what went on inside Zazu’s head most of the time and the few instances he did, it was only due to coincidence which allowed him to view past the veil his friend had covered himself with. The boy was an enigma through and through, but an enigma whom Tsu’tey wished to spend his time with.

Perhaps it was too early to say this was love but both boys knew in their hearts that they wanted to stick together for as long as they could. Be it friends or something more, there was the comforting feeling of each other's presence knowing in some way they were loved just as they loved the other.

When met with so much raw emotion taking form in the place of love, Zazu had no idea what else to say to Tsu'tey. There were so many words and yet none could fully be pieced together to describe just how much he appreciated having his friend by his side.

He scooted closer to Tsu'tey, his gaze locked on the yellow-eyed boy. He didn't say anything, already gaining the hunter's attention from it and in the ambience of the celebration, it was like they were the only two people in the world. Zazu gently pressed his forehead against Tsu'tey's to try and send all his emotions in brain waves for the other to figure out.
His eyes were closed and he took deep methodical breaths all while the Na'vi next to him stared at him with dilated pupils.

After a few seconds, he pulled away and focused on finishing his meal, not knowing the state of confusion he had put his friend in. Tsu'tey's tail swished from the intimate action. While he had done the same before, it was during a time of vulnerability, to comfort the crying boy. So in what way should he interpret this action? Was there a certain way he should be feeling? There was no concrete answer to his questions. He didn't know if he'd ever get one.

Still, he let down his guard and allowed his tail to curl around Zazu's. Seeing as he wasn't rejected in this notion, both boys kept their tails locked together while the Na'vi around them laughed and cheered in conversation. Music played around them with Tsu'tey's heart thrumming along to the beat of the drum. A steady rhythm which quickened whenever he was acutely aware of Zazu so close to his side.

The two finished their meals and set their plates to one side. They basked in the ever vibrant atmosphere and their hands found each other in the dark of the night. Interlocked and comforting in the ever changing emotions within them which were hidden in plain sight from everyone else.

From the corner of her eye, Maru watched the two of them before laying her head on her mate's shoulder with a soft sigh. Be it out of relief or restlessness, Rai'uk gently caressed the side of her face to soothe her troubled mind. She only had raised her son for a couple of months but already he was showing signs of being romantically involved with another. Did Zazu even understand what it meant to love someone in that way? She and Rai'uk would most likely have to sit him down someday to talk to him about it.

Running a hand down her face, she heaved another sigh but when she thought of who her son would stay with for the rest of his life, Tsu'tey couldn't have been a better choice. She could only hope the two would remain as close as they are now.

Away from Maru's family with the addition of Tsu'tey, the clan's leaders and their children were seated elsewhere but still close to the bonfire in the front row. Sylwanin and Neytiri chatted away but the young girl could see how distracted her sister was whenever she would look in their friends' direction.

She already knew why Sylwanin was this way but how heartbreaking would it be if she said that Tsu'tey didn't feel the same way? It'd be too much for her infatuated sister to bear and she didn't want to sadden her during such a momentous occasion, or any other time after that if she were being honest. She hoped that the older girl would see it for herself that the boy's heart had already been captured by another and to move on.

Nothing good came out of such affairs. She had heard it often from the gossiping adults of the clan. How there would always be someone pining for another whose heart and soul already belonged to someone else. The unrequited feelings bottling up inside and coming out in an explosion of tears or possibly fits of jealousy. Like laying in a field of flowers and yet inside of you, a pit grows and expands until there is nothing more if you let it eat at you.

Neytiri didn't want her sister to be consumed whole by such a horrible emotion but at this moment, she was at a loss as to what to do. She forced a smile when Sylwanin turned to look at her and in her mind, all she could think of was—

"Dear Eywa, I pray my sister comes out of this heartbreak in one piece."

Chapter Text

Every now and then, Zazu would remember. He would remember the ocean's embrace and the delightful calls of his name as he floated along the surface. How his hands would hold onto another's and maybe they were family or perhaps they were his friends. At times he would dream of himself with an older girl as they tied fishing nets together by the docks.

Then he would be slightly older and confronting a boy taller than him who boiled his blood and always smirked at him. Passing through his memories, he saw Na'vi like him and how the adults would have tattoos with the hunters and their arms littered in ink while others had some on their stomach and on their chest.

Zazu's skin was still bare and he had yet to come of age where he would be granted a tattoo like his parents. Then there was a whale, or a tulkun, as his memories informed him. He felt at peace by the tulkun's side as they shared stories from their days apart. He would use sign language to communicate and the joy he felt was something nothing else could replicate.

The months spent in the clan have given him time to heal but it also made him yearn for the days he was raised by the ocean. He could vaguely remember his first breath and when he bonded with his spirit brother. The girl whose fierce demeanour reminded him of Tsu'tey and the unknown boy who made him feel frustrated for no reason.

His world in the forest and the world he had yet to experience out there were vastly different and while he hoped to stay, he knew he had no place in the Omatikaya. They let him in but his heart longed to feel the ocean again, to ride an ilu and to see his spirit brother once more.

When he wasn't busy with whatever chores he had in the clan, he was off to the Tree of Voices with a dazed look on his face. He wouldn't connect with Eywa and instead sit there with his thoughts. This strange behaviour didn't go unnoticed by family and friends and after another week of running off doing Eywa knows what, his friends had enough and were going to see him.

They quietly traversed through the sacred area, nodding at each other when they caught a glimpse of the Na'vi with light blue skin. His tail was curled over his thigh and his eyes were closed to let himself be washed over by Eywa's presence. He held the end of his braid, the pink tendrils squirming out but he was hesitant on connecting to the tree. This time he wasn't uploading his memories but rather searching for someone through the half-veiled echo of the forgotten.

He exhaled, gently gripping the vine and letting his queue wrap around it. He took deep breaths, slowing down his heartbeat lest he get overtaken by fear. He could sense his subconscious being transported elsewhere and he looked around once the world had formed. He stood by the shore, his feet digging into the sand while the waves lapped up to his ankles.

Night would come soon and he stood there, waiting for something to happen. Maybe he was foolish but he continued to stand there in hopes he would learn the name of the girl buried in his past. However, upon hearing footsteps approaching him, he was greeted with a tall Na'vi whose figure was far stronger than his own.

His skin was wrinkled and old age had taken over. Still, he walked with grace and he sat down on the sand, patting the empty spot next to him. The boy eyed the old man, squinting his eyes as he plopped himself on the ground. His knees were tucked up to his chest while his tail curled around him.

"It has been a long time," the man said.

"I don't even know who you are," Zazu replied.

"I'm your grandfather! Is it not obvious from the smile?" The older male smiled and the teen merely looked at him like he was spouting nonsense.

"Everyone always said our smiles look the same. Ah, it reminds me of when you were a baby and you wanted to follow me everywhere," he chuckled.

"I wish I remembered. Maybe then it would make everything easier."

A hand threaded itself in his hair, gently combing out tangles and knots at the ends. His supposed grandfather hummed a tune, beginning to sing a story weaved from a songcord.

"Know this my grandchild. You are the first son of Tsaraka. Zazu te Keruhä Tsaraka'itan ."

" Zazu te Keruhä Tsaraka'itan ," the boy whispered to himself.

He closed his eyes for a moment and the presence of his grandfather disappeared from his side. In fact, the coarse sand and the cool waves were no longer there to which he opened his eyes to only see complete darkness. His body floated in the void and fear pricked his heart.

"Grandfather?" He called out.

His breath was caught in his throat, causing him to choke and struggle for air. In the real world, Zazu's body was convulsing and the children didn't know what else to do other than to bring him to Mo'at. Tsu'tey being the strongest, carried his friend in his arms while Neytiri was quick on her feet and scampered off to inform her mother. Sylwanin kept pace with the hunter to check on the boy's condition and worried for his health.

Maru and Rai'uk would not take this news well, especially considering he had fallen deathly ill once and that time was enough to have them bawling in panic. When they finally arrived at Hometree, Zazu was snatched out of Tsu'tey's hands and the longer strides of the adults outmatched what the boy could have done in that amount of time. Of course, every second mattered and the teen knew not to be bitter but fear had overridden his senses.

He wanted to be there to comfort his friend and in case this would be Zazu's final breath, he wanted to be there to witness it. As selfish as it sounded, he wished to be the boy's last shadow just as the other was his first light. Sylwanin placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling him jolt under her touch and she was quick to retract.

"He will be fine. I am sure of it," she assured him.

Tsu'tey nodded at her attempt, taking one last look at the hut before heading off to finish his chores for the day. He had only known his friend awoke when Sylwanin came to fetch him in the evening. In front of the hut were the clan leaders along with Zazu's parents discussing the matter at hand. They didn't pay attention to the children who walked by them but the hunter could pick up certain words. Words that made his breath hitch.

Inside, Zazu sat cross-legged on the ground, his gaze fixated on his fidgeting hands as he retold what he had witnessed in the morning to Neytiri.

"My grandfather is a lot more…livelier than I thought he would be. I always thought old people were boring," he snorted.

"Does this mean you'll be finding the rest of your family?" Sylwanin asked.

"Yes, I want to. That's why my parents are discussing with Eytukan and Mo'at about what to do," he stated, jabbing a thumb at the hut's entrance.

"So you're leaving forever?" Neytiri queried.

Forever was a word Tsu'tey despised. In a different context, he might find it flattering and perhaps romantic but if Zazu were to leave forever? His dreams of them hunting together and flying on their ikran were shattered in an instant and the other boy was none the wiser.

"Not forever. I'm just seeing if I feel at home there. Or if there even is a home waiting for me," Zazu said.

"And if you decide to stay there?"

Tsu'tey had to swallow the lump in his throat, the familiar sensation of his eyes burning leading him to fear for the worst. If Zazu did decide to permanently stay out in the ocean with his people, then supposed the hunter would continue living his day to day life as if he had never met the boy. To think this would happen after he had poured out a potion of his heart to the ever shining sun that had entered his life. Was Eywa trying to make his life more miserable?

No… Tsu’tey knew she would not do such things without reason. Maybe it really was time for the two to part ways. After all, they lived in two entirely different areas. While Tsu’tey’s heart stayed linked with the forest, Zazu’s remained with the ocean.

This would be his biggest challenge yet. It would be difficult but it was doable. He would have to learn not to expect a bumbling idiot smiling at him or that same idiot tenderly holding his hands and looking at him as if he were the most beautiful thing in the world. To be swayed so easily by one person, surely something was wrong with him.

"Then I'll visit every two to three moon cycles. Why? You'll miss me?" Zazu teased.

"As if," Tsu'tey lied.

What he didn't expect was the quiet, "oh" which left Zazu's lips and while the boy hid the hurt behind a smile, everyone was quick to pick up on his saddened mood. Neytiri jabbed the older boy in the side, quietly hissing at him to say something but the adults walked into the hut with indiscernible expressions.

"We have come to a decision," Eytukan said, "Maru will accompany you to the Metkayina clan in a few days' time."

"Yes!" Zazu cheered, clearing his throat when the chief looked at him in mild shock.

"Ahem, I mean- Thank you."

A few days isn't that long but what would happen after it was important. Tsu'tey bit his tongue as everyone discussed the loose ends of the plan and parted ways when it was time for communal dinner. Zazu had barely looked at him throughout the entire thing and his heart weighed him down. He scolded himself for saying such reckless things but how could he take them back when the distance between him and his friend was beginning to grow?

Was it too late to do so? He didn't know. He felt like he should know but he was still so helpless to everything that was happening. Overwhelmed by how he felt about the situation at hand, he had no clue which to tackle first and maybe the time apart would do the both of them some good. For him to silently go through it alone where the light could not distract him.

When it was time for Zazu to leave, he was not present. Maybe he wished to preserve what little he had left of himself or it was a selfish move for him to start moving on. At most he could see Maru's ikran along with another in the sky, flying far away to a place he could not follow.

It was better this way, he kept telling himself. Rumours of him succeeding Eytukan as Olo'eyktan were increasing and if it were true then he'd have to begin his training but most of all, his mate would be chosen for him. He wanted to laugh at his predicament, at his childish dreams of being together with Zazu. Their paths were no longer intertwined unless willed by Eywa and he kept repeating that it was for the best.

It was for the best that his heart did not flutter for a boy who shone like a star in the night. That he did not admire a boy whose connection with animals made him all the more sweet. His love was that of admirance and nothing more. Nothing past respect nor friendship, and certainly was nothing romantic.

—

It took a total of three days to reach the village in the islands. Three days filled with anxiety and hope. His nervousness amped up when they landed on the beach, their ikran earning the villagers' attention and soon many Na'vi who looked like him started to gather around.

He slid off Txon'ong's back, his eyes flitting between his mother and the reef people. The Na'vi made way for the chief whose entire body was covered in tattoos, namely his face, chest and biceps. By his side was a boy of Zazu's age who also had a tattoo but it was on his left pec. A woman joined not long after and she had tattoos on her stomach to signify her pregnancy long ago.

"I have come to return Zazu to his family," Maru said.

"Zazu? From the Keruhä family?" The chief asked.

"Yes. I have come to find them," Zazu spoke up. 

The woman who he assumed was the Tsahìk whispered to one of the hunters to call the family while everyone waited to see what would happen next. Tension arose as neither said anything and many could see the scrunched up expression Zazu showed to the clan heads. They gossiped about his blatant disrespect and the chief's son hid his anger under a calm facade.

Zazu's head reeled back a bit, the last bit of the morning breeze tickling his nose and he finally let out a sneeze, surprising the clan members when he sniffled and pulled back his ears in embarrassment.

"Sorry, it's a bit cold here." He lowered his head.

Loud laughter broke through the silence and a male Na'vi taller than him weaved through the crowd to get to the front. His right leg was tattooed with swirls of the ocean with the ink running up to his back and to his right arm. His curly hair was tied up into a bun while his queue hung down like the rest of the people.

His blue eyes looked down at the child and all that could be seen was mirth. He grinned, showing off his pearly white teeth and sharp canines and gestured towards the crowd where a family who looked more similar to him rushed forward to get a good look at him.

"Our Zazu has returned!" The first man exclaimed.

Cheering from the family ensued and they surrounded the boy, wrapping him up in a tight hug. Zazu didn't even know how many people there were and from the corner of his eye, he could see Maru was roped into the family hug and her awkward smile made him want to laugh.

"My brothers and sisters," the chief said, "Eywa has blessed us with his return. And while our guest from the forest stays here to rest, please treat her kindly."

He turned to direct his attention to one of the older Keruhä members, "I will leave the rest up to you. I am sure you wish to catch up with him."

Like a tidal wave, Zazu was washed away by it and multiple people chatted his ear off until they reached what one of them called a marui. He was seated near the back where children younger than him were clambering for his attention and a few teens slightly older than him did the same. The adults spread few and far between, talking amongst themselves until an elderly woman came forth and brought a hand up to hush everyone.

"Um, big family. Sorry, I don't remember who everyone is. I'm still regaining my memories but it's been slow," he confessed.

"Then let's start with introductions. I am your grandmother," she said, gesturing for the woman beside her to speak.

"I am your mother…and this is your father-"

"Tsaraka," Zazu whispered.

"Uh, grandfather told me, that's why," he quickly explained.

A boy his age leaned over with his arm holding his weight pressing against his thigh. His big greenish-blue eyes stared right into Zazu's as he inspected his family member. It had been some time since he last saw his cousin and from what he remembered, nothing much had changed in Zazu's appearance other than the new scars gained from the time he was away.

"Can I help you?" Zazu asked.

"Ay! He doesn't remember me!" The boy dramatically gasped, one hand clutching his chest but he was quick to forgo the theatrics.

"I'm Txowal, your cousin." He smiled.

An older girl placed herself on top of him, "And I'm his older sister."

More and more family members started to introduce themselves, sending the marui back into chaos as Zazu had to keep track of who he was speaking to. Back in the forest, he wouldn't have so many people around him, especially not people who were his family. He didn't think such a big group would be waiting for him, in actuality he assumed there would simply be his parents but here he sat with young cousins begging for his attention and then finding out he was an uncle!

He juggled between holding a conversation with an aunt of his while entertaining a toddler who was busy playing with his fingers. Maru was off at the side talking to his biological parents along with his grandmother but he could barely catch a glimpse of her when everyone was crowding around him again.

"Where is Zazu?" A familiar voice exasperated.

Relatives made way for the woman who immediately enveloped him in a hug the moment she saw him. Her tears wet his shoulder and he awkwardly side-eyed her, gently patting her back to soothe her. That is until a man came into view and he pointed a finger at him with wide eyes. It was the same man who broke the tension with his laughter and now that Zazu got a better look at him, all the leftover frustration from the past boiled over.

"You!" He subconsciously snarled.

The man simply laughed, one hand on his hips with a boyish smirk on his face.

"Glad to know you still despise me after knocking your head out cold," he said, coming to kneel beside his mate.

"Your face makes me want to gouge your eyes out," Zazu frowned.

Despite the flatter nose and blue eyes, the man reminded him of Tsu'tey if they were to ever see each other again as adults. Maybe if the forest hunter were to braid his hair like those of the reef people then maybe he would look like the stranger in front of him. Or the other way round which made more sense if he thought about it more.

"Love you too, brother-in-law," the man snickered.

Zazu stuck his tongue out in disgust, eliciting a chuckle from the woman he assumed was his sister and the man who was her mate. He didn't think he'd mesh so easily with his family here. The way they so tenderly held him with his mother sticking by his side and holding his hands like he were a baby. His father stuck to the side with a stoic façade easily disputed by the not so sneaky glances he would take.

It was mostly his uncles and aunts taking up his time along with his cousins who would interject every once in a while. He laughed along to their stories and as the day passed, some had exited the marui to finish up their chores while others who had nothing to do stayed behind.

When there were lesser people around, his mother turned him from side to side to check his body for any injuries. She clicked her tongue at the scars on his forearms, gently running her fingers along the lines. Her weary downturned eyes made her look soft with her half of her curly hair let down and the other half put up into a bun.

Unlike Maru and Rai'uk, his parents looked older but it was to be expected when having a child already past adulthood and one who was coming of age. In fact, many of his cousins and some who were the same age as him already had tattoos but he had none to show off.

"How come I don't have any tattoos?" He asked his family.

His mother looked hesitant to speak and his sister shook her head in response. His father finally moved himself from his spot by the pillar and sat in front of him with his leg resting along the wood and the other propped upright.

"It's because you failed your Iknimaya," he stated.

"I can always take it again, can't I?" Zazu tilted his head.

"Yes, but…" Tsaraka trailed off.

It was easy to pick up on how everyone was shying away from the topic and it didn't help the rising confusion in him nor the speculations he had of the ritual.

"It's best to tell him honestly. There's no use avoiding it," Maru advised.

She scooted closer to the group but still kept a distance. She could see her son's pouty look but knew she shouldn't overstep her boundaries in a place not her own. These were people who had not seen Zazu in possibly over a year, his existence lost to them until she accompanied him here. A few days apart shouldn't hurt either of them, at least that's what she thought. She hoped he would come back to the forest once it was all over and they would return to their regular routine.

He would help her gather fruits and when called to hunt, he would do so with Rai'uk. He would train together with Tsu'tey and Neytiri while learning English with Sylwanin. But when she saw him sitting at the centre of all the attention, she knew they were worlds apart. Here in the Metkayina clan, she was an outsider, someone who was not born to traverse the ocean unlike those similar to his physiology.

She saw how his close family members had glanced at her, whether they agreed or not wasn't up to her but she'd much rather let him know the truth. Maru had always assumed he had time before he came of age but it was most likely due to his time scavenging for food which hindered his growth.

"You were washed away during one of the trials with your spirit brother and…we never saw you again," said Zazu's grandmother.

"But I'm stronger now. I won't fail this time," he reasoned.

"And what if the ocean takes you away again?" His mother whispered, her hands gripping onto his.

"It won't, I'm sure of it." He nodded.

His sister still looked hesitant to let him partake in the rituals while her mate found nothing wrong with it. The boy in front of them was different from the boy of the past. Sure he was still a goofball but with that humour was knowledge and skills gained from survival.

"If he wishes to partake in it again, we should give him the chance to do so. I believe he will succeed," the man said, parting his attention to Maru who listened in on the conversation.

"However, it will take the whole season and he must stay here since it is starting again soon."

Maru looked at her son to gauge his reaction and knew she could not persuade him to return with her. His determined expression coupled with short nods, he was already considering the idea of taking his Iknimaya again. She should feel proud, sure, but part of her wanted nothing more than to baby him. Have him worry only about what he was going to eat for dinner rather than the pressures of adulthood.

"I will test him to see if he's ready. Wara, come," Tsaraka stood up, gesturing for his two sons to follow him.

They passed other marui and canoes, their feet stepping along the soft sand until they arrived at the designated area where the skimwings rested. A few hunters gathered there and waved with a smile upon seeing Zazu's father.

"I heard you found your boy!" One of them said, leaning to the side and catching a glimpse of the short teen.

"The tsurak have been restless after finding out he's returned. Tìtxur has been acting up in particular. He snapped at Nay'u just for feeding him!"

"The two of them have been attached to the hip since they met. It's only logical for Tìtxur to act that way," Tsaraka said.

He offhandedly gestured with one hand, "Zazu come here."

He didn't hear his son come forth. In fact, he didn't hear a single footstep nor breath from him and turned around to only see his son-in-law behind him. Wara pointed out to the sea where Zazu was currently on a skimwing and waved to the group with his arms raised high up in the air.

He pointed at his mount, giving them a thumbs up, a gesture he learned from Sylwanin. He gripped the saddle with one hand, diving back into the depths and popping out a few seconds after. He waded in the shallow water while the grey creature resurfaced beside him. Its golden eyes warily watched those around it while keeping track of its rider.

"It's like riding an ikran!" He exclaimed.

"I guess we don't need to test him." Wara shrugged his shoulders.

"It seems so," Tsaraka murmured.

Zazu was expecting a pat on the head for doing a good job but instead his father called for him to return to shore. He merely nodded at the boy in acknowledgement, preparing him to practice with a spear. The teen kept a cheery facade but his heart stinged at the lack of praise.

So as the sky grew darker and dinnertime was reaching, he had barely gotten a compliment for his efforts and only his father's constant humming and nodding. Perhaps it is his way of telling Zazu he did a good job but it didn't make the boy feel any better. He much preferred Rai'uk and Maru's way of praising him and the way they smiled at him as if he was everything to them.

His mother would smile softly at him. Not a full blown grin but one filled with love and peacefulness at the fact that her youngest child has returned. She held him close like a baby and when it was time to sleep, she would sing to him. Her lulling voice sent him into deep slumber and Zazu wondered if his friends in the forest would enjoy this place.

If any of them would find themselves here if someday the Sky People were to ever go to war. He wouldn't want to jinx it but if he were to stay here for the remainder of his life, he guessed he couldn't continue growing up with his friends. He wouldn't see Sylwanin undergo a ceremony to become the next Tsahìk nor would he be able to see Tsu'tey go through his Uniltaron.

He wouldn't get to see Neytiri's Iknimaya and see her chosen ikran in the future. He could visit, sure, but at some point he would be a stranger to them. No longer Zazu but rather another member of the Metkayina clan. He will go back into being an outsider to those in the Omatikaya and the most they will give is a level of professional respect.

It'll be fine, he thinks. Only his parents and the sisters of the forest will miss him. He will visit for them and only for them. There was no need to prove himself for the one boy who wouldn't miss him no matter what he did. So he decided he will grow up and one day choose a mate here. He will not let his heart yearn for someone who will forget him in the future.

He decided he will forget the way he found Tsu'tey's snarls and frowns cute or how he adores the boy's confidence when it comes to his skill with a bow. How Tsu'tey's hands were smaller than his and the feeling of his calloused skin that showed the time and effort spent into becoming one of the clan's best hunters despite his age. The way his eyes reminded Zazu of the light hidden behind a scowl of darkness and the warmth it laid in his heart when the boy would show off his rare smiles.

If Tsu'tey believed Zazu was the sun then to Zazu, Tsu'tey was the moon. Reflecting his light and even without shining brightly, the sun would still love the moon with all his heart. Because it is not the brilliance which shows itself but rather all the imperfections the sun has fallen in love with over years of being around each other.

Forever and ever until the sun explodes and everything dies in its wake. However, forgetting would mean that the moon would no longer feel his love and in the end, there is no longer forever. There is only the fleeting possibility of it never happening.

Chapter Text

With age comes responsibilities whether the ones who were of older age liked it or not. As time went on, Tsu'tey busied himself with hunting for the clan whilst indulging himself in the practice of handicrafts. Whatever popularity he had from the beginning had skyrocketed, and there was talk about the different women in the clan who would be a good match for him. Such useless drabble was from his parents and he despised how they were meddling into this part of his life when he never asked for it.

He could sense the way some of the women his age would eye him but he had no interest in any of them. Or anyone really. He still considered himself young and preferred to spend more time honing his craft. When the time comes he will be able to show off his skills to court whoever he wished to.

That was all it happened to be. He wasn't stalling on finding someone to love because he believed Eywa would lead him to them. However, there are times where he would stare at a boy too long just because he reminded Tsu'tey of someone a little too much.

Be it the boy's side profile or his stance, maybe it was the way he laughed at the stupidest of jokes or his successful catches used for dinner. But when Tsu'tey caught sight of their smile, all similarities ceased to exist and he would be on his way.

His chores normally consisted of joining the hunting party and attending school with the other children. He had gotten closer to Sylwanin and Neytiri as the three of them bonded over a mutual friend. And maybe at first he could never call the chief's daughters his friends but now as times change, they kept him sane in the midst of it all.

Especially when the distance between him and Zazu was making both his head and heart ache for no inexplicable reason. He should be glad such a distraction was gone from his life. It was because of that he could focus on his duties as a hunter in the clan. Just like how he could hunt twice as much without the boy distracting him or how he could focus in class without thinking of returning home early just to see a certain Na'vi who would smile as bright as the sun.

Zazu was a nuisance, someone who would hold him back. His carefree nature made Tsu'tey's skin prickle and it definitely wasn't because he was treated as a regular boy rather than the son of a great warrior. He definitely did not adore the way Zazu would look to him for praise after successfully shooting the target. Nor did he enjoy how the curly-haired Na'vi would sidle up a little too close to him when excited about something.

The tooth he weaved into his songcord would remind him time and time again of the boy who was now far away. He rubbed his thumb against the item as he walked through the Tree of Voices to clear his mind. At first his mind was not clouded by thoughts of Zazu but as the days went on and his heart grew heavier, he knew a part of him missed his friend.

His hand brought forth a vine, letting his queue attach itself and Eywa, having listened to his heart's deepest desires, granted him memories of their time spent together. The world around him shifted into the deeper part of the forest, far from where the clan lived and in a more isolated area.

The version of Zazu before him looked different. He was skinnier and more pale as he crafted a spear to hunt his next meal. He sat by the Tree of Souls, softly humming a tune neither of them knew of. Zazu looked up at the tree once he was done, showing off his new weapon to Eywa.

"What do you think? Too thin?" He asked the tree.

"Maybe I'll make another one once daylight breaks."

He placed it to the side, getting comfortable on the stone slab used for spiritual practices. He laid on his back, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths.

"Eywa, do you ever get lonely? I mean, everyone talks about you but sometimes it feels like there's a barrier right?" He asked.

He didn't get a response or maybe he did and Tsu'tey couldn't hear it.

"It's okay if you're lonely. I'm lonely too," Zazu confessed.

He suddenly sat upright, turning his body to face the tree with an expectant look, "Let's be friends then! That way both of us won't be lonely!"

The memory faded away and Tsu'tey disconnected himself from the neural network. He gasped for air, his gaze glued on the ground as shame enveloped his entire self. Eywa had shown this to him for a reason and he could feel her disappointment if not a figment of his guilt.

Loneliness was something Tsu'tey found himself familiar with but not to the extent of Zazu's situation. He was lonely at times but he still had his younger brother with him. When he felt like the world was against him and nothing ever felt right, he could commune with Eywa and gain further knowledge to better himself as a person. There were Na'vi his age he could play with and the adults around who would keep him company if asked to.

He had a community by his side ever since he was born and while Zazu was the same, he was isolated for a period of time without knowing where he belonged. One can only imagine how out of place he must have felt in the forest with no one but Eywa to guide him.

Tsu'tey pinched his cheek when the thought of flying out to sea happened to cross his mind. It was a foolish decision and not one he could do so without any repercussions. To leave all he has ever known just so that he could apologise to a boy was ludicrous and he was sure his parents would lecture him the moment they found out he harboured such ideas. Through it all, it was because he did not wish for his relationship with Zazu to change for the worse.

He enjoyed the few constants in his life and kept them close to his heart but each time he blinked, something changed. Be it Zazu entering his life to his strange feelings towards the boy and then said boy leaving for home. Was that Tsu'tey was not growing enough and thus his friend slipped through his fingers? Or was it all inevitable in the first place?

The two of them parting ways and never being able to see each other again. Both of them in their true homes in contentment because it was where they were first born. It reminded Tsu'tey of an old English book he was currently reading about two people who despite all odds, clung onto each other and maybe he wanted Zazu to do that. To cling onto him and never let go, just as he would do so if given the chance.

His inner reflections halted when his father stopped him from going to the upper chambers. The man had one hand on his shoulder while his gaze was leaning towards where Eytukan stood by with Mo'at and their eldest daughter.

"They wish to speak with you concerning important matters," his father said, leading him towards the trio where they then went up the tree.

The third level of their home was one Tsu'tey was familiar with when considering this was where meetings and gatherings would happen. He was here when word of the illness was announced and he was here again when it was confirmed that the children would learn English from Ms Grace. Now he was here for a reason he had no idea of but a gut feeling told him he would not like what he was about to hear.

"Tsu'tey," Eytukan said, "I wish for you and my eldest daughter to be mated."

The horrible feeling in his stomach failed to subside and he stifled his meek whimpers behind tightly sealed lips. To be the next Olo'eyktan was not easy but most of all, it held tradition. Many clans had both Olo'eyktan and Tsahìk as a mated pair and it was uncommon to stray far from it. Aside from that, he did not want this, but how could he reject the words of Eytukan?

"...Are you sure there isn't anyone else better suited for the role? Surely she has someone else in mind," he hesitantly asked.

"It is better if it's you, rather than someone else who we might not approve of," Eytukan said.

His words failed to make Tsu'tey feel at ease but he lowered his head out of respect after feeling his father's tail whack the back of his legs.

"Then I accept."

—

When you're the son of a great hunter, many would think you would showcase the same abilities and while Zazu enjoyed hunting with the children his age, he also preferred weaving baskets with his mother.

He would sit beside her in a circle with other weavers of the clan and once in a while he would be sitting next to someone his age and they would get absorbed into their own conversation as their hands meticulously worked on their half-woven baskets. It was rather similar to when he would learn from Nina and was a way to relax from the high stakes hunting brought him.

Aside from those two chores, he would tag along with his sister who specialised in song and dance. Her friends would do their best to teach him how to dance but he was much better at singing than moving around like he had two left feet.

It was a basic routine he had set up at this point and while he enjoyed the time spent with his family, he'd rather forgo the sappy love talk he had to endure from his cousin.

"If you're so interested in her just go and talk to her," he groaned.

"You wouldn't understand. She's so- incredible and sweet and kind and what if she doesn't like me back?" Txowal exasperated.

"Then you cry and move on. Seriously, I don't get why you're so worked up about it," Zazu said, swinging his feet over the water.

The two of them sat along the walkways close to their families' maruis after finishing up their chores for the day. Ever since Txowal realised his romantic feelings for a childhood friend of his, Zazu had to listen time and time again to his cousin's sappy confessions that would never be heard by the one who was supposed to hear it.

"You don't understand because you've never fallen in love before." Txowal stuck his tongue out.

"Then tell me. Describe it in detail," the boy said.

His cousin hummed, tapping a finger on his chin, "It's different for everyone but when I'm with her, I feel like my heart is about to take flight. In my eyes, there is no one else prettier than her because she is like a Txampaysye when I am underwater with no air.

This shell on my songcord was from her. She scoured for days to give this to me. Days! And you know what she said when she gave it to me?"

Zazu shrugged.

"She said, 'I wanted to get one that matched your eyes.' And then I said, 'But they just look like everyone else's.' And you wouldn't believe it, Zazu! She told me my eyes reminded her of the time when we rode on our ilu outside the reef when we were younger. I didn't think she cherished that memory too!"

Txowal sighed, a lovesick look on his face as he propped his head up on his fists as he rested his elbows against his thighs. Zazu shook his head in disbelief, his head aching at the whole situation his cousin was in.

"Sounds as if she's liked you for quite some time now," he offhandedly commented.

"I've been thinking the same thing! So I should find some shells in return. Maybe I should get one that gleams like the sun-"

"There's a shell like that?" Zazu interrupted.

His cousin looked at him in surprise before it morphed into mischief. His lips curled into a smirk while he brought a hand over it with his snickers ringing in the air.

"Ooh~ Does my dear cousin have someone he wants to court?" He cooed.

"Maybe," the other boy said.

"Wait- really? Is it one of the girls in the clan? Don't tell me it's Tsanu! I swear to Eywa-"

"I don't see her that way. It's someone else," he muttered, an image of Tsu'tey forming in his mind.

"Good! Then maybe it's the girl who always shyly waves at you? Oh! Is it one of the girls who you said had a good singing voice?"

Zazu stared at him for a minute without saying anything. It was clear he was contemplating if he should and ultimately he sighed in defeat. His head hung low and he raised his hands in a surrendering gesture.

"It's Tsu'tey," he stated.

"The forest boy you always talk about?!" Txowal exclaimed.

A hand was immediately clamped over his mouth and Zazu glared at him with stone cold eyes.

"I do not talk about him all the time," he hissed.

Txowal deadpanned at his statement, crossing his arms together.

"Okay, maybe sometimes but he's…him. How can I not talk about him?" Zazu said with raised arms.

"If you've seen him, you'd understand. He's an incredible archer and even if he's frowning, he looks so cute. Don't get me started on his eyes. Then when he smiles it's like everything feels brighter-"

"Sorry to stop your rant but you're starting to sound like my mother when she's talking about amma," Txowal told him.

He scoffed, "I do not. She always drones on and on about the same things, I'm giving you new points on why Tsu'tey is the prettiest boy I've ever seen."

"Uh-huh, next thing you're going to say is how cute he looks when he sleeps," his cousin chortled.

Silence enveloped them and Txowal carefully dipped his toes in the water as he thought of what to say. His hands traced the intricate patterns of the weaved walkways and he let out a long exhale from his nose. Seeing his cousin oblivious to such romantic feelings made him pity his family and friends who had to watch him act the same way months ago.

It would be harder should Zazu and Tsu'tey be in love with each other. With such a distance between them and the fact they were from different clans, it was a no-brainer that both their families might reject the union. Zazu belonged to the ocean. It had always been his home and called to him even when he was miles away.

However, a part of him belonged to the forest and the memories created with those he loved with all his heart. His nimble hands working on handicrafts with the girls his age and flying together with Txon'ong during countless sleepless nights. The days he spent by the large tree talking to Eywa and the scars detailing his journey through the thicket. All of it stuck with him as his traces lingered in his second home.

He wanted to return someday but part of him didn't know if he was still welcomed. He hoped he was. He wanted to see his foster parents along with his friends. He wanted to continue learning embroidery from Nina and hear all the latest gossip from the group of girls he acquainted himself with. He wanted to feel like nothing had changed and that he could run around with Tsu'tey by his side.

The two of them against the world. That was how much Tsu'tey meant to him.

"How do I court him?" Zazu asked.

"You're considering it? I mean, good on you. Tsu'tey is lucky to have you courting him." Txowal patted his back, standing up and gesturing for him to follow.

"Come, I'll show you the best spots to find seashells."

Both of them hurried off to the shores and while Txowal was telling Zazu of the Metkayina way of courting, the boy who was listening could only wonder what Tsu'tey's reaction would be when the time came.

—

From two different regions of Pandora, both were busy with their duties. Tsu'tey having to learn from Eytukan and thus spending more time with Sylwanin to strengthen their future union. They were currently at school together during the free period while the other children played outside or stayed behind to learn more from Ms Grace.

Their teacher happened to be milling around the classroom and giving her attention to whoever needed her help. Part of him wanted to ask her for advice on his current problem, thinking maybe she could use her human methods to dispel this dull ache he was experiencing.

He quickly switched his attention to his book when she looked in his direction. Sylwanin caught onto his odd behaviour and glanced at their teacher who was teaching another child who needed help translating a certain word.

"You seem…troubled. Is everything fine, Tsu'tey?" She asked.

"Yes. There is no need to worry," he said, burying his face deeper into the book.

"Is it because of our future roles?" She queried.

The boy paused for a moment, "It's not that."

Sylwanin gave him a pitiful look but perhaps she also held some pity for herself. Her friend may learn the ways of the Olo'eyktan easily but when it comes to the tradition of their promised mates, she knew she could never compete with the one who had already stolen his heart. Would it be selfish of her to ask for just a little bit of what she wanted?

Matters of the heart could not be solved so easily and she knew that but part of her was hoping that Tsu'tey would someday come to love her. They would someday spend the rest of their lives together and she guessed it was foolish of her to want a union where she felt loved and loved the other in turn. For a loveless union was something she wished to avoid at all costs but she loved Tsu'tey, so what else could she do other than to try winning his heart back?

Tsu'tey who was growing uncomfortable with her gaze abruptly stood up, his ears flicking in irritation as he glanced towards his teacher. His eyes silently told his friend of what he was going to do and without uttering a single word, he left to Ms Grace's side.

He had no clue of what he would ask her but it was better to leave than to let Sylwanin badger him with endless questions. He appreciated her concern, he really did, but when considering her position in the whole situation, she was but another weight holding him down. He did not present himself as one of the clan's best hunters just so he could be recognized as a future Olo'eyktan. He had no desire for the title just like how he did not wish to be promised to the girl.

He only saw her as a friend. Nothing more. Not when he already knew who he'd rather spend his time with. All the regrets and unsaid words stung his heart and he wondered if the boy who shone like gold in his eyes was doing well.

This sentiment was shared by Zazu who was currently flying back to the Omatikaya clan after getting coddled by his family who wanted him to stay just a few days longer before he left to visit the forest. You would think the women in his family were the ones to hold onto him the longest but in actuality it was his father who kept coming up with excuses to have him stay a minute more.

Any extra time the man could get his hands on, he would do so immediately and it was strangely endearing to see the stoic hunter embrace his son without being embarrassed. He could still feel his father's touch lingering against the skin of his arms and for a moment he could sense the man's love held deep down in his heart.

It gave Zazu a bittersweet feeling but he decided not to linger on it and instead looked forward to his loved ones in the forest. He could already imagine his foster parents crushing him in a hug and possibly the sisters' looks of awe once he presented them with the gifts he had gotten them.

Each given a shell which reminded him of their different personalities. A small bulb-like seashell with a spiral top coloured in beige as flecks of brown all over it. It gave him memories of Neytiri, grounded in what she believed in despite her young age. Then there was the smooth shell spreading out like a fan he got for Sylwanin. It was an iridescent colour and he picked it up for her thinking how it suited her attractiveness as from what he heard from others in the Omatikaya.

He had made armbands for his parents from the finest shells and gems he could find. There were also handmade beads and extra shells he was going to give to his friends' parents as thanks for taking care of him over the past couple of months. Then there was his gift for Tsu'tey.

Truthfully, he still didn't know if he really wanted to court the boy. Sure he liked Tsu'tey but what if it wasn't what he wanted in the end? What if he deluded himself into thinking he had such feelings when in truth, he simply wanted to be better friends? Romance was always a confusing topic he could never understand and so he thought that maybe he would switch out the courting gift with something less flashy.

He groaned, knowing it defeated the purpose of spending days finding the best shell to give. He was utterly divided on whether he should present it as planned or scrounge up a new gift to save himself from embarrassment. He had at least a few more days to think about it and so between the time he spent flying, resting and hunting for food, Zazu had yet to come to a definitive decision.

They were already sailing past Omatikaya territory and he could see the tree he was raised in for months. He contemplated stopping at the highest level but knew it could be seen as trespassing and so he directed Txon'ong to where the entrance leading into Hometree would be. The sound of flapping wings didn't go unnoticed by clan members and those who weren't acquainted with the Na'vi from the Metkayina grew to be on high alert.

"Hello!" Zazu greeted while dismounting his banshee.

He grabbed the pouch of gifts he hung on Txon'ong's back, one of them being from him and the other from his family. He hauled them towards the tree as he smiled at those who happened to recognise him. Word quickly spread of his arrival and Eytukan was the first to officially greet him by the end of the steps.

"I see you are well, why have you returned?" He asked.

"I came to visit! Also my family wanted to thank you for letting me stay here. My father told me to give you this. It's filled with akula teeth. They are very fierce predators and grow up to be even bigger than an ikran," Zazu rambled, handing over a small leather-woven bag to the chief.

Mo'at had come over from her previous duty upon hearing the spiritually-attuned child had come to grace the forest lands. Her ears picked up on the conversation right as the boy began talking about the shells he had also gotten for them as a gift. The moment Zazu caught sight of her, his brows were raised and he hurriedly handed her a medium-sized pouch filled with medicinal herbs.

"From my mother and sister who thank you for your efforts in healing me when I was sick," he said.

"They are healers?" Mo'at asked, peeking into the package and was surprised at how much was stocked inside.

"Yes! They taught me much during my time in the Metkayina and so these herbs are mostly found there. If anything, I can explain each and every one of them and their uses," Zazu beamed.

The woman nodded, "That would be ideal."

"How long will you be staying? I hope your family doesn't think you are choosing the forest over them," Eytukan spoke up.

"About a week? I fear if I stay any longer my father might just mount a tsurak to find me," the boy replied.

"A week it shall be. I'm sure my daughters will be happy to see you've come to visit. For now, I believe your mother is training the children today if you wish to see her first," the man said.

Zazu perked up, nodding eagerly and bidding the two adults goodbye as he ran off to the training ground where the younger hunters would usually gather. He swiftly dodged the children who nearly bumped against his legs and his smile grew wider upon seeing his mother teaching a child who had yet to reach their teen years. She instructed them on where to shoot and how to do so, using her own bow as demonstration for the small Na'vi.

He waited for her to finish up, paying attention to the forest clearing and wondering if Tsu'tey or his father would come out from there. Zazu turned his attention back to where his mother was and waved sporadically when she looked to be free from her duties.

"Mama! Hey!" He called out.

Maru looked up in confusion, her eyes scrutinising the area in search of the familiar voice and nearly choked on her breath upon seeing the boy with light blue skin. The other teachers around told her to go, knowing full well they were capable enough to take care of the children who were under her guidance. She thanked them earnestly, running towards her son and scooping him up in a tight hug.

"Gah! Careful!" He yelped, holding up the bag of gifts lest the shells inside get crushed.

"What are you doing here? Are you not staying with the Metkayina? Did something bad happen?" She questioned.

Zazu shook his head, "I came to visit. My Amma and Appa wanted to give you and Baba some things as thanks."

He pulled out the pouch filled with well made necklaces from his reef mother and woven ponchos from his reef father should the couple ever decide to come visit the Keruhä family. Digging through his own handmade presents, he pulled out an armband made out from mangrove flax and detailed with beads crafted from bioluminescent shells which glowed a faint blue in the dark.

"I made it myself. Do you like it?" He said.

Balancing the other gifts with one arm, Maru stared in awe at the crafted accessory and her heart felt full from it. She held it to her chest, a grateful look gracing her features and she tenderly held her son close and whispered thanks into his ears.

"It's beautiful," she praised.

"My sister taught me and I happened to apply some of my teachings from Nina." The boy nodded.

"You've gotten better. Whoever else you're gifting to should feel lucky," Maru said.

"I hope Baba feels that way. I'll go to him after I find my friends."

Readjusting his grip on the bag of gifts he hoped to catch a glimpse of Neytiri's beaded hair so Tsu'tey's charming smirk but found nothing. He assumed they were either at the school or busy with chores far from Hometree.

"They should be returning soon. Come, tell me more about your time by the reef." Maru gestured for him to come closer and led him away from the training grounds where he began to recount the days spent at the ocean.

He was in no rush to give his presents and knew there was time to win Tsu'tey's heart should the topic of courtship come up in the week he stayed here. He walked beside his mother with an added pep in his step, his grin ever so bright and at that moment he believed nothing could ever bring him down.

Chapter Text

It didn't take long for the children to return from the school moments after Zazu had gifted the armband to his father. His ears perked up and he showed off his fangs in delight as he excitedly waved to Neytiri who bounded towards him with a wide grin. He had yet to see his two other friends but set aside that thought to focus on the younger girl who enveloped him into a hug.

"You're back!" She exclaimed.

She took a deep breath, looking over him and noticing how much taller he was as compared to the last time she saw him. He wore a brown garment stretched over his left pec and secured by resting on his right shoulder and side of the stomach where wrapped to the back. A new tattoo had been done on his left shoulder blade in spiralling patterns around a pointed sun and she wondered what it meant and if it hurt because it looked like it did.

"Only for the next few days, then I'll be returning home," he said.

"But isn't the forest also your home? Why not stay here longer?" She furrowed her brows in confusion.

Zazu sighed as he shook his head, "I don't want to worry my family. Besides, I've been away from them for a long while and I should be taking the time to be with them more often."

Neytiri bit her bottom lip, disappointment residing in her heart while her hands fiddled with one another. She stopped fidgeting when a small shell was hung above them and she raised her eyebrows at the gift. This was the first time she had ever seen a seashell and silently gasped in awe at it. She brushed her thumbs against the smooth texture and looked inside the hole to find out if there was anything inside.

"I have one for Sylwanin as well. Where is she?" Zazu asked.

"Probably with Tsu'tey. She never has time to spend with me because she's always with him," Neytiri groaned with a roll of her eyes.

The boy hummed, his heart pricking at the thought of Sylwanin winning Tsu'tey's heart but he believed it was inevitable. Being away for about a whole season, many things can change within that amount of time and he was foolish to think things would remain the same. The conch shell in the gift bag weighed even heavier than usual and he struggled to swallow down his saliva.

"How about we spend time together then? We should go explore the forest!" He suggested.

"What about Tsu'tey and Sylwanin?" Neytiri asked.

Zazu stuck his tongue out, "The two of them can hang out together for as long as they want. Besides, I'm not that close to them anyway."

The girl wanted to call him out on his lie but held her tongue. This was a topic that could turn sour quickly and for the short time Zazu was here, she wanted to at least be a good friend and distract him from whatever troubles he was facing. However, if he were to start avoiding everyone else, then she didn’t know what to do.

“Let’s meet back here in ten minutes,” Zazu said to which Neytiri nodded.

The two children left to get ready with the reef Na’vi heading up to where Txon’ong was resting and placed the bag of gifts back onto the saddle. The banshee looked at him in confusion, tilting his head before another of his kind came up to nudge Zazu in the side. The ikran with purple skin nuzzled into the boy’s touch, sniffing around for any food scraps but came up empty. The hunter chuckled, patting her beak and waving goodbye, not wanting to keep Neytiri waiting any longer if she decided to arrive earlier. He climbed down the tree with practised ease, zooming past adults and children alike, barely sparing a glance at his two other friends who were surprised to see someone from the reef walking amongst the people.

They knew it couldn’t have been a stranger and so they followed the boy who reached the forest entrance where Neytiri was standing. They saw as he waved at her, a brilliant smile on his face as they shared a conversation neither could hear but before they could go and talk to him, he bounded into the dense foliage with the young girl following behind.

“We should follow them,” Sylwanin said.

“What for? They will return at some point,” Tsu’tey replied.

“But it’s been so long since we last saw him. Besides, aren’t you curious about what they’re up to?” She stepped away from him, her feet leading her closer to the forest.

He couldn’t refute her statement, his curiosity overpowering his logical reasoning to head home where he could avoid the boy whose presence he desperately tried to forget. But here he was given the choice to chase after and diminish the distance created between them over the past few months. He was seen as an adult of the clan, however, now he felt nothing more than a tall child. Shame enveloped his entire being and he wanted to snarl at the idea of someone so insignificant reducing him into a bumbling fool.

“Fine. Only to make sure they aren’t causing trouble,” he huffed, trudging in first.

It wasn’t difficult to find them with the sound of Zazu’s excited voice as he talked about his home by the ocean and having Neytiri tell him to lower his voice lest any predators choose them as their next meal. Then there were the thumps that came with Zazu smacking into stray branches and cursing up a storm. Sylwanin held back her laughter, stopping on one of the overgrown logs and looking down at where Zazu stood with her sister in the undergrowth.

His hair was messed up and had leaves embedded in his braids but he was far too tired to pull them out himself. Neytiri laughed at his predicament and he flicked her forehead in retaliation, sticking his tongue out at her while taking a seat on the silky grass. The afternoon sunlight flittered past the leaves up above and danced all over his skin and made him so hauntingly beautiful in Tsu’tey’s eyes.

"It's strange coming back to the forest but it's not too bad," Zazu chuckled.

"Many things have happened in your absence," she said.

"Really? Like what? Let me guess…the pa'li gave birth?" He replied.

"Not even close. Nina has mated with one of the men in the clan."

Zazu gasped, but his shocked face soon turned into one of indifference. He shrugged his shoulders, not thinking of the news to be life shattering, especially when he had an inkling as to what their relationship was weeks before he left.

"It was bound to happen. Tell me something more interesting, won't you?" He said.

Neytiri bit her bottom lip, leaning close to his ear and whispering quietly. Too quiet for Sylwanin and Tsu'tey to pick up on but what they caught onto was Zazu's smile and it wasn't anything was wrong with it but the sight of it sat strangely in Tsu'tey's stomach.

"Are you okay?" The younger girl quietly asked.

"I-" He paused, his ears picking up on some disturbance. "We are being watched."

He silently stood up with one hand resting on the hilt of his blade, his gaze scrutinizing their surroundings and baring his teeth to whoever was hiding in the shrubbery. The rustling of leaves made him slide out his knife with the other hand extended outward to protect his blade from leaving his grip. The moment he saw a blue foot come out, he had his suspicions as to who it was and let down his guard when Sylwanin's face came into view.

He let out a deep exhale, sheathing his weapon while Neytiri went over to her sister to chat. The leaves rustled again and this time Tsu'tey emerged but Zazu was quick to turn his head away, already wanting to get out of this situation and return to the comfort of his foster parents.

"Zazu! I'm glad you're back! How is the reef?" The eldest daughter queried.

"It's good. Feels like home," he briskly answered.

"The sights there must be different compared to the forest. Surely the creatures are different too, yes?" She continued.

"Yes, of course. I mean, it's common sense since I live in an entirely different region." He stated.

"Why are you so grouchy?" Tsu'tey frowned.

"Tch, like you have any say in it," Zazu scoffed, "Takes one to know one, yes?"

Tsu'tey grew surprised at his attitude but held his ground. He could take the time to ruminate about it later but for now, tension bubbled along the surface and looked about ready to explode if not for Sylwanin interjecting.

"It's fine, Tsu'tey. I'm sure he's joking, yes?" She said as she gently placed a hand on his back.

Zazu bit his tongue from spouting out anything else which might be too harsh for her to handle. He wanted to shout out to the skies about his frustration but could only solemnly reduce his anger into bits of malicious spats he currently had no control over.

"Whatever," he stated with an eye roll he learnt from his brother-in-law.

That short little interaction was enough to send the trio in for a loop. Never had they seen him so negative nor snappy at just about anyone. It was as though all the venom he built up over the past few months had sprung out at this exact moment and maybe it was all a spur of the moment. But with his downturned ears and agitated swaying of his tail, it would be a while before he even thought of apologising.

He pushed past the group to return to Hometree and neither Sylwanin nor Tsu'tey could understand why he was acting this way but for Neytiri, it was easy to see the reason why. Though she didn't exactly agree with his outward reaction, she could empathize with him. She wouldn't know how she would react upon hearing such news herself.

"He is angry right now but he will calm down soon. I'm sure he will apologise when he is of clearer mind," she told the two.

"What is it you told him that made him this way?" Sylwanin asked.

Neytiri gulped, "I…I told him of the Sky People. How some of them have been destroying more and more of the forest. Seeing as he can hear Eywa clearly, he must feel overwhelmed by it all."

"Maybe we could show him that some are good. Like Ms Grace," the older sister said, "I do not wish for his heart to be clouded with hatred."

"No. It will only endanger him. He is not like us and they will start attacking the reefs if they see him as a threat," Tsu'tey advised.

"We should give him some space. I'm sure he will come around by the time evening arrives," Neytiri said.

While the three of them talked amongst themselves, Zazu was pouting by the pa'li with his arms crossed together. Tsmi nudged her head against his cheek, happy to see him again after so long but also sensing his foul mood from the way his lips curled into a tight frown.

He grunted when she nudged at him again and he let out a dramatic sigh, his heart still aching at what Neytiri had told him today. He didn't expect this piece of news to hit him as hard as he thought it would. On one hand he found it understandable but on the other hand, he felt as though there was spite at play and he despised the tradition of having the Tsahìk and Olo'eyktan as a mated pair.

How could he compete with someone training to be the next Tsahìk when he was only the son of a warrior in a different clan? He was practically nobody. All he had going for him was his love for animals and the ocean he belonged to. He was everything that Sylwanin was better at, and being inferior to her, he was most likely considered to be the worst option. Maybe in the end this was Eywa's way of telling him to move on.

However, such matters of the heart were never easy and he didn't know how he would go about it. He didn't even know how he was going to show his face to the three he left behind but decided he'd simply avoid them until the week was over. It'd be difficult but not so if he was mainly sent to hunt and gather while they were present in the clan. After all, they still had the human school to go to. And while he was angered by their actions against Eywa, he was thankful for such a place existing if it meant he could run away from his problems.

His parents wouldn't want him to do so but he still saw himself as a young child at times. A little boy who could only turn around to avoid the trouble he might get into if he ventured too far. Still, it would come flying to him like the two were magnets unable to be apart from one another.

Weight crunched against grass and feet larger than a child's approached where he sat. The boy already knew who it was from where a scar slashed over the skin near the man's left toes. Zazu raised his head, looking his father in the eye before quickly averting his gaze elsewhere. The older male sighed, patting Tsmi on the head and taking her place beside the teen. The both of them sat in silence with the ever occasional exhale that felt too loud in the tense atmosphere.

"I didn't see you with your friends. Why's that?" Rai'uk asked.

Zazu pinched at his skin, rubbing it between his thumb and index while thinking of a good lie. He found himself embarrassed that he was so heartbroken over something he had no control over. He simply had to move on, no matter how much it hurt at the start.

"Is it because of Sylwanin and Tsu'tey? Them being promised mates make you feel…betrayed, yes?"

The question stunned the younger male and he frowned at the possible feeling labelled as betrayal. He shook his head, knowing it to be much more complicated than that and it continued to swirl in his heart with no way of revealing itself.

"No…it's not like that. But I am mad my chances with him are now gone," he confessed.

"I was going to present a courting gift to him but it'll bring trouble if I do."

The reef Na'vi found it annoying now that any act of romance on his part would be put down to maintain the peace of the clan. He understood, of course he did, but when he thought of who'd be Tsu'tey's mate, he saw himself standing beside the boy. They'd live a relatively quiet life with one another with maybe a couple children down the road and all of them would be happy.

He knew there was no hope in such idealistic dreams and was satisfied with keeping them as nothing more than mere fantasy. While he didn't want to admit it, he bet Tsu'tey would be happier with Sylwanin than if they were to ever be mates. She could give him the whole world while Zazu only had sticks and shells to give. This pitiful situation made him incredibly sad but this sorrow had nowhere else to go and he rested his head on his father's shoulder with a tired sigh.

Strong, dependable, always there for him in the darkest of times. He wished to be just like his foster father when he grew up while keeping his birth parents' gentleness for all things fragile. To someday hold another with all the love he could ever give like the ocean waves washing along the shore.

All of his emotions bundled up and let loose, tying itself up into horrible knots again like a vicious cycle. He was getting a headache from the adrenaline and quickly succumbed to sleep after everything. Before he eventually slept, he prayed to Eywa to take this heart of his away from him. Not when it felt too full for him to handle and not when it was making him an idiot in the end.

—

The next few days, Zazu worked to avoid Sylwanin and Tsu'tey. He had apologised to them the day after the incident, having been forced to by his mother and had given them their gifts as an act of peace. In the end he switched out the conch for a less eye-catching shell, keeping his previous courting gift in the deepest depths of his bag. He'd probably send it back out into the ocean or give it to his birth parents who were most likely waiting for his return.

Sometimes he wondered how he got so lucky having two families care so much about him. In his eyes, he believed he didn't deserve it, not when he was a pathetic boy who couldn't do anything to pay them back. From what he could vaguely remember from the past, he was a troublemaker, one who grated their nerves and gave them unnecessary headaches. Why in the world would they still love someone like that?

If it were him, he'd say good riddance and move on. There were people who had already casted him out of their lives such as Tsu'tey, so what was so different that they had to cling onto him? Was it because they were blood-related? That they felt responsible for him? He was waiting for the day it would all blow over and once everyone had decided to leave him, he would laugh and say he was right.

A pathetic way to be but no one would know this side of him that he tucked into the deepest parts of his soul. Only Eywa would know of his loneliness and he preferred to keep it that way. Right now, he was alone again in the forest and had come across a hidden clearing where the sunlight shone down and warmed the grass beneath. His toes curled together and threaded the grass between them, a heavy sigh of relief leaving his lips as he stared ahead.

He should be with Neytiri now, or his two other friends if he ever decided to finally talk to them. But it was his final days in the forest before he would return and he didn't want to imagine another round of sorrowful goodbyes. Maybe Zazu was being selfish by distancing himself but he couldn't deal with another person saying they wouldn't miss him. Even if it was a joke, it still hurt, and he doubted the boy who said it cared enough about his feelings.

He sat down with his leg crossed over the other, arm outstretched as it acted as a perch for a white seed which came floating towards him. It attached itself to his index finger, a small smile forming on his lips but it disappeared as quick as it came. A second seed came after then another and another. They began to gather around him and rested on his upper body as if it were Eywa trying to give him a hug to ease his worries.

Silently thanking the Great Mother, he slowly moved his arms, watching how the sprites would float upwards before following to where they last were. Entranced by the seeds, he didn't pick up on the familiar yellow-eyed boy who had followed him here.

Ever since Zazu had arrived in Omatikaya territory, Tsu'tey had been nervous to say the least. He didn't know how to approach his friend, nor did he know how he was going to spill all the woes in his heart. Words were never his forte, always stumbling over what he wanted to say unlike Zazu who was ever so straightforward. Subtly licking his upper lip, Tsu'tey slowly walked over to where the reef Na'vi sat, his nerves still running rampant like a herd of angtsìk during migration.

When he had stepped foot into the clearing, he had yet to be noticed and so he awkwardly cleared his throat, calling his friend's name and seeing how the boy was quick to turn his head. The woodsprites drifted away from the sudden intrusion but a few stuck behind and Zazu stared at the clan's future Olo'eyktan with nothing but confusion.

"Why are you here?" He asked.

"I-" Tsu'tey paused, "...I wanted to see you."

"What for? You should be with Sylwanin instead of hanging around me. She might get the wrong idea," Zazu said.

"Her opinion on my love life doesn't matter. It is not her I love after all."

The forest boy tentatively took a seat beside the other, the distance between them being an arm's length away. How close they were to holding hands and if they leaned closer to each other, their noses would touch for just a second before either of them would pull away.

"If you do not love her, then why? Why stay with her?" Zazu questioned.

"I had no choice. Eytukan asked for it and she did not refuse."

The green-eyed boy frowned at his words, guilt gnawing at his heart and he, in that moment, felt nothing but pity. Even so, this answer did not mend the heartbreak. He awkwardly patted Tsu'tey's back, looking away but glanced back to gauge his reaction. So his reasons for his disgruntlement towards Sylwanin weren't for nothing! Still, he remembered that day where her eyes held nothing but love and one could see how her heart fluttered so obviously for the young hunter in the clan.

It was simply unfortunate that he did not reciprocate the same feelings but the whole thing continued to feel off. In the end, Zazu couldn't do much lest he incite a war between the Omatikaya and the Metkayina. All he could do was wish his friends the best and act as a source of support for them.

"Well…at least you will have a mate," he said as a way to cheer his friend up.

Tsu'tey sent him a deadpanned look, his nose scrunching up slightly and Zazu was quick to put his hands up in surrender. A nervous chuckle left his lips and he scratched his nape with a stuttered apology coming from him.

The forest boy sighed, "And what of you? Is there a girl you have your eye on?"

Sudden laughter came from the Na'vi with lighter skin and he held a hand up as he tried to calm himself. He shook his head, a definite answer which soothed the ever so turbulent trials Tsu'tey's heart was going through. It had been so long since he heard the other male's laughter and relished in the moment until it stopped.

"Sorry, it's just- my cousin asked the same thing but no. No one in the Metkayina has caught my eye," Zazu said.

"...There was someone, but I cannot pursue them further else it'll bring more trouble than needed."

A lump grew in Tsu'tey's throat and he wanted to know of this mysterious person. He rationalised it was delusional of him to think that for a sliver of a chance, Zazu was talking about him. Maybe he could still salvage it all, to be selfish for just a little bit and forgo his future duties for a future he knows he will be happy in if he just took the first step to pave the way towards it. Especially once the Sky People are chased out, he imagined a peaceful life with Zazu where they could live together as a family with maybe two children or even three when they become adults.

There went his imagination again, constantly thinking of things and never acting on them. Tsu'tey bit his inner cheek upon remembering the situation he was in and shame pooled in his stomach. He had yet to officially court the reef Na'vi and was already thinking of a life ahead when there might not even be a chance to begin with.

Testing the waters, the yellow-eyed boy carefully intertwined their hands together, the feeling of the other's skin serving as a reminder of reality. He looked down to the ground, hearing his friend shift a little closer as some of the floating seeds drifted away but some flew down to where their hands were held together.

A sign from Eywa.

Tsu'tey glanced at the taller male, averting his gaze and growing shy at the sudden implications of everything around them. He wished to hold Zazu like they were promised mates, attached to the hip with fervent touches to remind the clan of their staked claim to each other. Most of all, the unsaid words stuck in his throat were ready to burst out like a waterfall. He took one final look at the now considered adult and he grasped the slightly larger hand in both of his, bringing it up to his forehead with a quiet sigh.

"I lied," he said.

"... It's okay," his friend whispered.

"I missed you."

This time Zazu didn't say anything but if Tsu'tey saw that bitter smile on his face, maybe nothing should have been said at all. Like a forbidden fruit right in front of him, the curly-haired Na'vi had no rights to pick it because in the end it wasn't his to take. All he could do was sit and admire while someone else went over to grab it.

Nothing in the forest belonged to him.
It was simply a matter of accepting the truth.

So he'd be greedy in this moment and relish all that was given to him. Like a ravenous beast whose hunger knew no bounds, and whose heart so full of love to give if allowed the chance. Lying to himself about a life with Tsu'tey as his mate.

He could only hope Eywa would forgive him.

Chapter Text

Zazu had returned to the Metkayina with gifts from the forest and distributed them to their respective recipients. He had managed to give all of them out when he found something at the bottom of his basket he was sure didn't belong to anyone. When he eventually brought it out, he could feel his ever slowly mending heart shatter into bite-size pieces. He hadn't the courage to throw it back out to sea and dropped it back into the weaved basket and hid it in his side of the marui where he was sure none of his family would ever find.

He ended up having to take it out when he went to visit the forest again. And so the cycle repeated itself where he'd have something absolutely beautiful he wished to give to Tsu'tey but then remembering how he was promised to Sylwanin the moment he got there. Now the gift was useless and left rotting in his basket until he reached the reef.

It was pure torture at this point and his little room was getting a bit too filled with all the things he was going to give his friend with a few under the pretense of being a courting gift. It was all because of Txowal who gave him the cursed idea of pushing the courtship seeing as Tsu'tey didn't want to be with Sylwanin in the first place.

At first it made sense, why should he worry when the boy he wanted to be with didn't even ask for the girl to be his mate? But each time he arrived in Omatikaya territory, he was reminded of where he stood in the equation. Like Neytiri, he had no big role to fill unlike both Tsu'tey and Sylwanin. He was merely a bystander while his friends were to be the future of the clan. A united front to bring the people together in times of trouble and with the Sky People so close to their land, he couldn't disrupt that.

Years had gone by since then and he was coming of age where finding a mate was expected of him. His parents were already wishing for him to find someone he truly connected with while a couple of his cousins and friends had already done tsaheylu with their chosen partner. There was an unneeded burden placed on his shoulders, not to mention some of the women who had their eyes on him. It made him uncomfortable but sitting by the beach as he babysitted his niece seemed to soothe his nerves just a bit.

He watched her try and weave a basket but her hands were too ruthless with the material and would break it midway through. Zazu could tell she was getting frustrated and patted her head, ruffling up her curls a little much to her chagrin.

"Uncle Zazu! You're ruining my hair!" She pouted.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself. You remind me of my friend with that frustrated face of yours," he snickered.

"The one from the forest? I wanna go meet him!" She got up on her feet to be on eye level with him.

"Can I, Uncle Zazu? Can I, can I?"

Her bright blue eyes shimmered in anticipation but those puppy dog eyes weren't as dangerous as Neytiri's when she wants something really bad. Even if it meant being slightly too close to the bad Sky People to see what they were doing to satiate her curiosity. At least no one knew of it and it became a secret between them.

Gently pushing his niece's face away, he shook his head, already knowing the amount of hell he was about to get from his sister if he ever said yes.

"You're too young. Besides, shouldn't you be asking your parents for permission first?" He said.

"I'm already ten. I'm a big girl now!" She huffed.

"Okay little warrior, whatever you say. I'm sure a big girl like you can handle a tsurak right?" Zazu smirked.

He could see how she clearly backtracked in her head and squatted down with her fingers drawing pictures in the sand. Her eyes were pointed towards the ocean and never at him, a quirk he found amusing whenever she got embarrassed.

"I'm not that big yet. But when I am, you're taking me to the forest. Promise me!" She ordered him.

Putting his hands up in defeat, Zazu merely nodded.

"Alright, I promise I will. Now, how about we put these baskets back home? They'll be much safer there."

The two of them left for his sister's marui all while he knew he'd be on another journey to the forest where he'd be stumped on whether or not to actually confess to the boy who still held his heart.

—

"Zazu! Zazu! Tell us another story!" The children cheered.

A ragtag group of kids not older than the age of ten followed him around and some had more energy to run in circles around him. He chuckled, facing the younger ones who looked at him expectantly with eager eyes. Their tails swayed in anticipation and it was clear as day he had something they wanted.

"Another one? Was the last story not interesting enough for you?" He said.

Groans of discontentment rang in the air and he put his hands up in defeat. It was obvious how he had a weakness to children, their pure hearts worming their way into his and creating a soft spot many could see from his interactions with them. The older women in the clans would comment on how he'd make a good father, blessing whoever was lucky enough to have him as their mate. The ones who were roughly the same age as him would whisper and giggle amongst themselves whenever they caught sight of him.

Both in the forest and in the reef he had grown popular over the years, especially considering how his frail self had become a strong warrior many could depend on. It was one of the reasons why the bolder ones in the clans would try and court him, but time and time again, he would reject their advances. He kept his heart safely tucked away from anyone he was a stranger with and for now, he was fine with it. Perhaps when in the near future he would finally get out of this stupor and live a far more fulfilled life.

With or without a mate.

He had his family, his friends, it was all he could ever need in this life and he thanked Eywa for their presence everyday. Still, that didn't mean he wouldn't poke fun at them in light-heartedness. Currently, he had the children gathered around him on the ground floor listening to his newest tale of an akula chasing him and Txowal when they went beyond the reef to hunt.

"The creature chased after us and it was this close to chewing my tail off!" He exclaimed, mimicking the action of the large fish chomping down on his paddle-shaped tail.

A few of the kids giggled at his misfortune while the fearful ones gasped in surprise. It was obvious he was fine but he had yet to finish his story, he hadn't even begun to tell them of how he escaped the terrifying animal.

"We hid behind all the coral but it didn't stop the akula. It kept bashing our hiding spot and when the hole looked big enough…" He paused for a bit, looking at his audience with a hardened gaze.

"It lunged right for us-"

He purposely took a big step forward to scare the children but was caught off guard when a sudden weight pressed against his back and had him fall to the ground with a harsh grunt. The suspense was now gone and replaced by giggling as his attacker playfully laughed along at his fallen state. Zazu rolled his eyes, easily pushing off his friend with one hand and getting up on his feet.

"My family back in the reef are going to ask about all these bruises when I get back," he huffed, half-heartedly glaring at Neytiri who gave him a cheeky smile.

"You can always say a certain someone gave them to you," she grinned.

"Not in front of the children. Now, you'll be helping me in my story seeing as you've rudely interrupted me." He flicked her forehead, getting into the moment where he had his friend act as the akula.

They then went on to play out different stories, earning the attention of passing Na'vi who happened to have some free time to watch the small show. A round of applause would happen after every act and to say he was having fun would be an understatement. The hunter enjoyed spending such time with Neytiri, knowing it took her away from her mundane chores and ate away at the time she had reserved for her sister who was far too busy nowadays.

They were about to act out a story Zazu had heard from his father when those around them could hear Sylwanin's voice calling out his name. It was a silent cue that the show was over and he waved goodbye to the children and clan members who took time out of their day to listen to his ramblings. His friend reached him when the majority of the crowd had dispersed and Sylwanin didn't seem to have a clue as to why so many happened to be watching him.

He smiled at the tsakarem who returned the gesture tenfold. Maybe it was out of politeness or genuine happiness to see him, either way, there was a bit of unspoken tension between them that never seemed to go away. Zazu ignored it to the best of his abilities, casually resting an arm over Neytiri's neck and hearing her complaints about him being too heavy.

"We were just acting out a few stories I was telling the children. Even the little ones back home enjoyed them, especially my nieces and nephews," he explained.

"A shame I didn't get to listen to one of them, you must be a good storyteller," Sylwanin complimented.

Zazu shook his head, "It's nothing. Besides, you should be looking out for Neytiri's acting. She makes a fine akula when you need one."

"I believe you," Sylwanin softly laughed, her gaze turning implicative when she looked between him and her sister.

"You two seem to be spending a lot of time with each other these days. Am I right to assume…"

She didn't finish her sentence but it didn't take much to understand what she was getting at. Both Neytiri and Zazu looked at her as if she sprouted a second head before looking at each other to confirm if what they heard was correct.

"Sister…you don't think-" Neytiri held her tongue, unsure of how to phrase her thoughts.

"Ah, am I wrong? I apologise, the two of you look so comfortable that I thought you might have…feelings for…" Sylwanin started to get flustered over her misconception, her ears downturned with a thin-lipped smile on her face.

"It's fine, it's easy to see why you would think so. If it makes you feel better, I see this idiot as a little sister than a potential mate. Always have," Zazu reassured her.

"Who're you calling an idiot, moron!" Neytiri growled in embarrassment.

"Aw, is little 'Tiri getting all embarrassed because of me? Don't worry, your big brother is here to do more of that," he laughed.

A pang of jealousy made itself known in Sylwanin when she didn't hear her younger sister refute his claim of being a big brother. Of course, everyone in the clan were brothers and sisters, joined under the loving eye of Eywa. But the girls were related to each other by blood which obviously made them sisters and yet, someone— a visitor from outside the clan, was out here saying he was Neytiri's big brother.

It was jokes, light-hearted fun, so why despite it all, couldn't she shake the feeling of jealousy upon seeing her sister get along so well with Zazu in a sibling related manner? It was true that her duties as tsakarem made her a bit busier than expected to truly spend time with her younger sister but at the end of the day, they were bonded as family. They ate their breakfast and dinner together, went to school together, and slept near one another at night.

So why was someone who would only visit periodically still have so much love showered onto him from the sky? First it was Tsu'tey and now it was her own sister. Sylwanin wanted to cry to Eywa, to ask why she had nothing, as if the boy was actively trying to snatch all that she had from her hands. If she wasn't careful, maybe he was going to snatch her title of tsakarem next if he stayed for good in Hometree.

His existence was her plight. While she might not have thought so in the past, it was becoming more prevalent in the present time considering they were older now. She believed he was everything she was not. Far more excitable and jovial than her still presence, someone who caught the eyes of many easily while she could barely get the love of her betrothed she so desperately wanted. He was the sun while she was the empty space surrounding him, never noticed or thought of as much.

Such envy should not be harboured and she knew. It was a lesson learned since young and was not the way of the people. Shame buried itself in her core and Sylwanin struggled to shake away all the negativity which began to swarm her head. Sensing her silent distress, Neytiri approached her with hands gently holding her and Zazu tipped his head forward, heading off to go spend the rest of his day helping his parents or to go bother Tsu'tey for a bit.

When he was finally gone, Sylwanin let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in. Was it because she no longer had to put up a perfect act around him? Or was the jealousy all too much to bear and she subconsciously held back air? She didn't know the answer to her question.

She was led to a more private area where no one could walk in on this moment of vulnerability, she did not want them to see her so weak. Most of all, she did not wish for Tsu'tey to see this side of her. Someday when she would become Tsahìk, she needed to stay strong for the people, to ease their worries daily. How could she do so when here she was, about to sob all because of a simple boy from the reef?

"There is nothing to worry about, we are still sisters. Zazu cannot replace you so easily," Neytiri assured, her forehead leaning against the other girl's.

"It was obvious, wasn't it? …I'm sorry I haven't been spending much time with you 'Tiri. Only Eywa knows I'm making excuses by saying my duties have taken my time," Sylwanin apologised.

"It's fine. You are working hard, everyone in the clan knows. These hardships will subside with time and we can go back to doing things together, yes?" The younger girl said.

The tsakarem let out a short burst of laughter, "Haha, when did you get so wise?"

"I learn from the best," Neytiri replied with a smile.

They continued to talk the day away, all while Zazu was squatting next to Tsu'tey who happened to be carving a bow. Truthfully, he caught the forest boy by surprise, the unfinished bow clutched tightly against the warrior's chest while his blade was pointed right at Zazu who looked down at it like it were a toy. They were far from the clan settlement, seated on the grass close to the forest entrance where it led to a couple of secret spots Zazu had memories of.

Now they had resettled into comfortable silence but Tsu'tey's hands were getting sweaty from knowing Zazu was watching him. It would've been fine if it was anyone else but this weapon he was working on was far too important. It had to be perfect before he could even think about gifting it and that was just the first part. There was still the recipient's reaction and the question he was dying to ask all these years.

He didn't know when his feelings towards courtship had changed but maybe it was when they visited the lake they swam in back when they were children. How Zazu was comfortable enough to share everything he loved to Tsu'tey without holding anything back. Bearing all that he was and placing his heart in hands too rough to hold something so fragile. Yet, the trust was there, plain as day.

The future Olo'eyktan considered it as one of the instances which made his heart flutter, not like the other times didn't do so as well. If he was told to list down every time he would be willing to get down on his knees and worship Zazu, whoever asked it had to get ready to sit through an entire hour-filled explanation.

"Who's it for?" Zazu asked.

The sudden question nearly had Tsu'tey making a mistake and pulled back the knife lest he swerved it the wrong way.

"I didn't really take Sylwanin as a hunter but it's a good gift. Symbolic," the reef Na'vi continued.

"Ah, unless you're trying to do the thing where you teach her archery and use the chance to get closer to her. Smart move. Then again you could always ask to spend time with her since you'll be mated. Or maybe-"

"It's for you," Tsu'tey blurted out.

His body stiffened upon letting out his sentence. There was no response to what he said and it was for the best. He stared at the unfinished bow, burning holes into it from how hard he glared at it, wishing for it to solve all his problems when he felt a hand snake up his arm. It rested on his shoulder, big ocean green eyes looking at him like he had hung up the universe in the sky.

"Wait here, I'll be back." Were Zazu's last words before running back to Hometree.

Such a vague answer but Tsu'tey heeded his words nevertheless. Until it felt like it was getting too long and he wondered if the curly-haired boy was making fun of him to those in the clan. It was a stupid assumption knowing it would never happen but the anxiety was ripping his heart into shreds and never letting go. It was possible he was left behind on purpose, his indirect confession being rejected and the thought of it hurt his pride. If he was to be rejected, he wanted it to be clear and straightforward, none of this running away and leaving it for the receiving end to decipher.

His insecurities remained even as Zazu ran up to him, items in a cloth pouch tied at the top. He was forced to set down the bow and blade on the ground while the paler male sat in front of him, the pouch being the only thing in-between them.

"I didn't know whether to give them to you but now's as good a time as any," Zazu said.

He carefully unfolded the cloth to reveal beads of different shapes and sizes, mostly the colour turquoise but some were golden yellow and white with a select few having a silver hue. Being presented to Tsu'tey like this, it was clear they only had one purpose. He gulped, heart thumping out of his chest and glanced at Zazu who was too shy to look back.

Hesitance was always one's greatest enemy and Tsu'tey knew he had to be bolder for once. To not let himself be lulled into a state of idleness like he had been so many times before. His hand gently held his friend's, gaining the boy's attention which he felt pride in when seeing those dilated pupils.

"Help me put them on," he said.

Two of his smaller braids were undone, gently being combed through by hands larger than his and he let himself be soothed by the simple action alone. The two sat closer to one another to the point where a short exhale from Tsu'tey could be felt along Zazu's forearm and any brush against the future Olo'eyktan's cheek was done by the knuckles of the taller boy.

"I made them myself. Is it strange if I say that?" Zazu whispered.

"They're beautiful. Your future mate is lucky to receive such well made crafts," his friend responded.

"He is," the reef Na'vi mindlessly said, too focused on his work to fully comprehend anything else.

Tsu'tey blinked once, then another time. Was his longtime friend referring to him? It was far too on the nose unless he was just a test subject for the actual good pieces. Still, this was too intimate and would ignite rumours the moment he was seen by any members of the clan.

"I'm done with the first." Zazu breathed out a sigh of relief, one hand brushing against the newly done braid with blue oval accessory sandwiching the round yellow and pearl white beads.

"Beautiful as always."

Such blooming compliments so easily dished out and Tsu'tey couldn't stop his tail from swaying in glee, his fangs peeking out as he grew ever more attentive to the other male.

"I'm going to work on the second one. Any specific pattern in mind?"

Tsu'tey carefully shook his head, "I trust your judgement."

The second one was slightly similar to the first, only it incorporated the silver-hued beads with the biggest being in the middle of the stack. The ones Zazu took off were bunched together with the new ones on the cloth, clearly waiting to be exchanged with. Tsu'tey brought a hand up and trailed his fingers down the hair tightly bunched back into a bun.

"I think you would look good with some too. Come, I will help you," he offered.

Zazu entrusted his hair to his friend, undoing his bun first and letting his braids cascade down with the rest. His hair was much more different than those in the Omatikaya but Tsu'tey still did his best to do as good a job as the green-eyed boy did. His hand meticulously beaded and braided as though practised many times in the past. Incorporating his previous beads into the design, he was getting antsy and hoped his efforts would be appreciated.

He used up all they had and made three braids, two on Zazu's left and another on the right. One on each side was re-fashioned with his dark red beads while the shorter one on the left was decorated with small white oval beads, a golden yellow centre and blue rounded beads placed alternative to the white.

"Do I look good?" Zazu asked, turning his head from side to side.

"Of course you do." Tsu'tey frowned. "I wouldn't do such a horrible job."

"I know, I know. Thank you, Tsu'tey. I can't wait to show my parents."

The boy from the Metkayina swayed his head to feel his new beaded braids hit his face and basked in the sensation. Most of all, he relished in the warmth granted to him and couldn't diminish the smile on his face. He could already imagine his parents asking him what made him so giddy. There were also those in the clan. Would they approve of such love hidden behind the scenes or scorn it to protect one of their own?

His mood was dampened by the reality his brain had to so lovingly pull out. This change did not go unnoticed and he leaned back, balancing his weight on his palms and avoiding the hand so willing to reach out to him.

"Sylwanin will be jealous. Haha, she might kill me if she ever sees me," he joked, "If not her then the leaders."

"You worry too much, it's out of character for you," Tsu'tey remarked.

"Is it? I do not wish to hurt her. She doesn't deserve such heartbreak."

"Since the start I have not seen her that way. I still don't. She already knows. Something like this won't break her heart. Now turn around, I'll put your hair up."

He smacked Zazu's shoulder in the direction he wanted, patiently waiting for the other boy to settle so that he could begin weaving his hands through the curly locks once more. Zazu hummed, his hand brushing over the grass in front of him as he waited for his friend to finish styling his hair. A pair of hands were placed on his shoulders and he turned his head to the side, nose lightly bumping against Tsu'tey's and chuckling at the split second surprise on his friend's face.

Who was Tsu'tey even kidding at this point? He knew in his heart that this was meant to be, even Eywa had spoken all those years ago and they still weren't together. As if all his pent up emotions towards the ocean warrior just about spilled out, his slimmer hands gently grabbed the sides of Zazu's face and thus connected their lips together as one.

Zazu sputtered out of pure shock, unsure of where to put his hands or if he should do anything at all. His breath got caught in his throat as his heart was beating out of his chest from the sheer boldness Tsu'tey presented and he couldn't stop his tail from thumping against the ground in joy.

The yellow-eyed male parted from him upon hearing the sound, looking past Zazu's shoulder with a small smirk playing on his lips. But first, there was the issue they had yet to discuss.

"Do you want this?" Tsu'tey asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I-" Zazu paused for a moment, "What about Sylwanin?"

"Forget about her. It's just you and me," the other replied.

His thumb caressed Zazu's cheek and the taller boy melted into his touch. His other hand intertwined with one much larger than his, like it were to be engulfed whole. He didn't mind it, far from it actually. Both their foreheads were pressed together in an intimate manner, ocean green eyes casted downwards to the ground beneath them, searching through for the answer already known for the longest time.

"I do…I want this," Zazu breathed out, his eyes flicking to gaze into Tsu'tey's.

"I have always wanted you…ever since we were young."

His words were light, as though afraid to say it in case the wind brought it to everyone else in the Omatikaya. Someone from the Metkayina who was here to steal their future Olo'eyktan, he could already hear the insults that would be hurled at him.

"The clan will know the moment they see us," he then said.

"Let them. I will talk to Eytukan about my arrangement with Sylwanin. I believe Mo'at will bless our relationship," Tsu'tey assured.

"A Tsahìk sees all. She will know what we did today," Zazu replied.

"Then she will see that Sylwanin and I are not a good match." The darker-skinned Na'vi placed a short kiss on the other boy's forehead.

"Don't worry. I will make sure no harm comes to you."

A promise he intended to keep till the end of time.

Chapter Text

It wasn't easy to forgo the sight of both Tsu'tey and Zazu whose beaded hair was similar to the other. Neither boy said anything about it but many were already pitying the chief's daughter who had to bear it all. They did pity her beforehand but now even more so when it was painfully obvious of the whole situation laid in front of them.

A girl in love with someone who would never love her back. It was a mystery as to why this arrangement had not been nullified yet and maybe it was because the eldest daughter was still clinging onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, Tsu'tey would one day look at her the same way he always did Zazu.

That she'd be on the receiving end of his love when they were older and this was merely a simple hurdle. She was wrong to think so and now was faced with a tall wall she couldn't get over. When she had seen both her betrothed and her friend have similar beads in their hair, her heart dropped to her stomach and all she could do was wonder where she went wrong.

Was she too pushy? Was her heart not enough? Why was it that all she wanted was not granted and instead snatched up by Zazu? As if he was only there to make sure she suffered for no reason at all. That night, she quietly cried herself to sleep but the more attentive ones in the clan knew of her weeping, speaking nothing of it to at least give her some privacy.

Plagued by so many things, this obstacle worked to influence her feelings towards her friend as she sat with a few other Na'vi her age to continue discussing their plan to set fire to one of the machines the sky people used. It was something they had thought of for weeks now and we're about to act on it soon. It was with these Na'vi that Sylwanin found solace in and it was easy to share her tears with them.

"I'm sure Tsu'tey will see how great you are when we burn that thing down. The two of you both care for the people. That Zazu is just an outsider who Tsu'tey will get tired of, I'm sure of it," one of them assured.

"Seriously, I don't know what that idiot sees in that reef boy. You're obviously so much better than him! Men just don't know they have something good in front of them until it's taken away," another said.

"What a homewrecker . If I was part of his clan, I'd be ashamed to even be near him," the third of them scoffed.

To make yourself better by putting others down, the malicious gossip that stroked your ego without thinking twice about the person you were bad-mouthing. For a bit, Sylwanin wished to fill her head with the negativity but knew it shouldn't last too long lest such behaviour stuck onto her. It wasn't her fault life was unfair to her, it was all because of someone else and she had to deal with the consequences! That was how she rationalised it in her head.

"Anyways, tomorrow, we will strike at noon. Then, we'll run to the school. Ms Grace will keep us safe," the first of them revised the plan.

The rest of them nodded, already knowing their roles and what to look out for. Their weapons were ready and set near the place of ambush, they just needed to find the right time to attack. This would be a warning to the sky people to not hurt their land and while it was an admirable act of justice, it was also foolish. Young children going against the far stronger adults who could easily shoot them down with their guns. How could they fight against them? The only way to survive was to run.

The group dispersed to continue doing their chores for the day and Sylwanin was on her way to find her sister when a familiar voice called her name. She turned her head to find Zazu not too far from where she stood, his eyes holding fear in them as he approached her in rapid steps.

"I didn't hear wrong, did I? You're going to the Sky People?!" He hissed.

"You were eavesdropping?" She muttered.

"I was trying to find you and I heard-'' He stuttered over his words, "You shouldn't test them. They are dangerous! Even for the strongest warriors in the Omatikaya."

"And let them continue their rampage on Eywa? I thought out of everyone you would agree with me." She frowned.

"I do! But you could get yourself and others hurt. You could die! Let's call it off and find a different way to send a message," Zazu suggested.

Sylwanin balled her hands into fists, her tail swaying in agitation from how he sounded like he was commandeering her. He wasn't in the forest for years to know what the situation was like, it didn't give him the right to just order her around! A low growl rumbled in her throat, and she hissed at Zazu when he took a step too close.

"No. No! You do not get to take this away from me! I worked for this! You don't get to snatch it out of my hands when I've worked so hard to get this to happen!" She yelled.

"Sylwanin, I understand but-"

"YOU HAVE TAKEN EVERYTHING FROM ME! MY BETROTHED! MY SISTER!" She accused him before taking a deep breath.

" ...You will not take away my people's faith in me. "

The reef Na'vi held his hands up, his head bowed down out of respect for his friend. He could not control how others around him wished to acquaint themselves with him but he could empathise with her broken heart. Still, he could not backtrack on his words to Tsu'tey when they had already established what it was they both wanted. He couldn't do that to the boy he could hopefully call his mate but he couldn't break what little of Sylwanin was left in the mess of his greed.

"I won't tell anyone…I promise. But know that if you go through with this, you may die. At this point of time, you may think my words are lies but there is truth in them when I say I want you to live," Zazu said.

He let out a heavy sigh, still seeing the remnants of anger in those eyes of hers. She hated him, that much was easy to see. He did too, but it was only for a short while. How could he fault someone for loving so fervently with no regrets?

"I will leave you be. Please, do take my words to heart. I don't want to see you hurt."

The boy knew she would go on with the plan, nothing was stopping her other than her own parents. He didn't know if he should tell Eytukan or Mo'at about this, it would only serve to make things worse in his eyes. How those in the Omatikaya may see him as an outsider trying to meddle with things he shouldn't be touching. It was up to the people to decide what should and shouldn't be done but Zazu knew deep down this uneasy feeling in his gut wouldn't go away unless he knew Sylwanin had given up on her reckless idea.

He returned to Hometree, feeling more out of place than ever and instead of seeking his parents, Tsu'tey or Neytiri, he went to find Txon'ong instead. He sat next to his ikran, letting the banshee blanket him in a side hug with a large wing. He shut his eyes to try and forget the possibility of death when tomorrow came but the tremors in his body already told him of the fate he could not shake off.

—

Before the children would go to school again, Tsu'tey hanged back with Zazu when he saw how the green-eyed boy was a lot more despondent than usual. He held Zazu's hand, gently rubbing his nose against his future mate's cheek as his breath made the reef boy shudder.

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

Zazu shook his head, "It's nothing. I am just wondering how I will break the news of our bond to my family."

"We will take it one step at a time. I will even visit your clan to meet them," Tsu'tey replied.

A small smile played on Zazu's lips and he squeezed his partner's hand out of fear that this may be the last time they'd ever see each other. It was no good for him to plague the living with thoughts of death and decided to keep it to himself. He could relay his fears if he ever survived which was a big if.

"Have fun at school," he whispered.

"I will. I can teach you all that I've learned there when I return," the yellow-eyed Na'vi said.

"...I'd like that."

It took a few more seconds before they finally parted ways and Zazu waved goodbye, his heart pounding in his chest as he hurried into another direction in the forest where he remembered seeing Sylwanin and her group head into. He clicked his tongue to call for Txon'ong who was up in the air, climbing up higher and higher to reach a clearing without as many trees and jumping off the large branch with his utmost trust placed in his companion.

The large banshee swooped under him, his bum rested properly on the saddle as the two quickly flew to where the bulldozers were. It was easy to see where the site was when a machine blew up from the fire ignited on it. Thick clouds of smoke filled the air and the sound of gunshots could be heard within the forest as heavy machinery maneuvered through the area. He flew in a little closer, his gaze landing on a building he assumed was the school and quickly headed there to intercept the enemy.

While he was keeping a close eye on the humans, Sylwanin and her group were busy running as fast as they could to the school building where they were sure their teacher would help them. They nearly reached inside but a yelp followed by a thud made the group falter for a moment.

"Anuk!" One of them yelled but the boy did not reply, lying lifeless on the ground as the gun-shooting machines grew closer.

The humans did not stop shooting and Grace was quick to check on what was happening outside. She blanched, hurrying to get the children out of here the best she could. Shrieks of fear raised in pitch as some were shot but luckily in non-fatal areas. The few Na'vi who were outside playing had already scurried off into the forest to seek safety back in Hometree.

A line of bullets pierced through the wood and inside the classroom, another boy was shot dead, scaring the younger children who did not seek to die today or to see one of their own bleed out on the wooden floorboards. Grace picked up any stranglers who were too shocked to move, passing them onto the older ones who easily carried them in their arms.

"Sylwanin? Sylwanin!" Neytiri called out from her hiding spot in the bushes.

She ducked down low, afraid that if she stood up, her life would end right then and there. Her heart pounded in her chest and everything sounded so muffled. Today wasn't supposed to end up like this. So why? Why did such chaos make its way here?

Outside, a few from the group had yet to reach the building nor retreat back into the forest and Sylwanin pushed through the burning pain in her calf from where a clean bullet pushed through the muscle.

"Neytiri! I'm here!" She shouted, hurrying over to where she heard her sister.

She was nearly there, she just needed a little more time. A little more until she was safe. Neytiri's eyes widened in shock when she saw one of the machines aim their weapon in Sylwanin's direction, her body frozen stiff when she could only yell out her sister's name in hopes it would warn the older girl but it didn't seem like it would do anything.

It all happened in slow-motion. The way Sylwanin whipped her head back to see if any of the humans were gaining on her and her breath getting caught in her throat the moment her gaze landed on the large gun. The enemy had a finger on the trigger, not caring if the Na'vi they were shooting were the equivalent of a child.

All of a sudden, a shrill yip sounded loudly from up above and a familiar mountain banshee slammed its weight against the machine to try and topple it down. The trajectory of the bullet was shifted to the side and struck the nearby tree instead of where it was supposed to go. Neytiri's heart pounded in her chest and she quickly got up to help her sister before the girl's wound got infected.

Glass shattered as Zazu stabbed his knife into the window, releasing the air of Pandora into the once enclosed space where the enemy fumbled for the gas mask. The Metkayina male knew his blade wouldn't do much if he wasn't trying to kill anyone but with Txon'ong by his side, he could very well stall them until everyone was gone. He yelped as he avoided the shots, hoping his companion was doing well up in the air.

Some of the men decided to focus on taking the banshee down but he was more agile than any of them expected while the rest were either shooting into the school for any Na'vi hiding inside or trying to kill the boy who appeared out of nowhere. His appearance made him all the more threatening for the humans who had never seen someone like him and seeing as bullets weren't doing as good of a job as they'd hoped, one of them brought out a grenade.

"Fire in the hole! " They yelled, tossing the bomb straight towards Zazu.

He had no idea what it was but when it clicked in his head, it was too late to run. The grenade landed a couple feet away from him but the large explosion still sent fragments flying in the air, one which stabbed Zazu right in his left eye as burns from the attack scorched the skin.

He screeched in pain, his voice all so familiar to Tsu'tey who was helping the Na'vi get to safety. From his corner in the woods, he could clearly see his partner out in the battlefield and fear took hold of his heart in an instant.

"Zazu!" He yelled, running forward to grab him but was held back by a fellow hunter.

"We need to go!" They argued.

Zazu still stood strong despite all the pain, tears welling up in his eyes while blood oozed out of his wound. His hands were shaking, but he could still feel every muscle in his body. From how his lungs trembled beneath his ribs to the rushing blood in his veins.

He could not die just yet.

Txon'ong, who had seen what went down, immediately snapped his jaws at the machines, snapping up any human unlucky enough to be in his line of sight. Blood spewed all over the once green grass and Zazu couldn't understand what the Sky People were yelling about. His English lessons with Sylwanin never covered such words.

However, words did not need to be understood to know what was about to happen next. Txon'ong, in his rage of fury, did not pay enough attention to his surroundings and a man holding a machine gun quickly shot him through the chest multiple times with a raged shout. The banshee still remained upright but his grip slackened and soon he fell to the ground with no more life in his eyes. His breathing had stilled and his final gaze was pointed at Zazu who was hurrying over to him the best he could.

Weaker than when he first attacked, he was easily tripped over and pushed down to the ground with a pistol pressed to his head. Tsu'tey was still crying for Zazu, this time having two more Na'vi hold him back.

"God, what a freak, " the man huffed, his finger slowly pulling the trigger.

A loud gunshot reverberated in the air and the three hunters who were holding him took this as their chance to flee as they carried Tsu'tey with them. Their family would definitely question why so many of them were hurt, but most of all, the three missing children who would never return home.

Zazu still laid on the ground, his heart pounding so much that he feared the enemy might hear it. He heard the man yell in pain but had no clue as to why. Words of the Sky People entered his ears and he could understand some words such as, leave and children . The arguing was getting louder and more tense but he knew it'd be nearly time until he stopped hearing any of it. Death was a scary thing, that much he knew, but a teaching since young made him all the more accepting of what was to come.

A hand was gently placed on his shoulder and Grace appeared in front of him like a supposed blessing sent by Eywa. She spoke into a device as she continued looking into his eyes, or singular eye now that one of them was basically gone.

"Hey kid, come on. Stay with me here," she said.

He knew she was saying something but wasn't sure if it was in his language or hers when every sound was getting too muffled to hear clearly. His vision started to darken and the ringing in his ears was the last thing he heard amongst the flames of terror.

—

When everyone in the school had returned home, their cries and horrible injuries had the adults fretting over them. Eytukan and Mo'at both hurried out to see how much damage had been done and the woman ordered for all the healers to set up mats for the more injured ones.

She hugged both her children when she saw they were safe, whispering her thanks to Eywa for protecting her children in the chaos brought upon by the Sky People. Parents of the children all came out in swarms but the few who could not find theirs were hysterically yelling.

"Where is my son?! Where is he?!" A woman sobbed.

"Neytep? Where are you?!" Another shouted.

Murmurs seemed to spread through the crowd and Rai'uk was quick to push anyone out of his way to find his son. He had not seen Zazu at any of his usual spots, especially since Txon'ong was now gone as well. He had no idea where the two of them went and was hoping to see his son in the sea of children. However, there was no sign of his light blue skin nor his bun of hair that would usually reach just about the height of everyone else due to his taller stature.

"Where is my son?! Please, you must know something, anything!" He asked, holding in his tears as he directed the question to Mo'at's daughters.

"Rai'uk, you must calm down. Surely he is safe," Mo'at advised.

Tsu'tey's breath hitched in his throat when he got close enough to hear the conversation. His eyes were dry from all the crying and his voice hoarse from how many times he yelled out Zazu's name after being pulled away from the scene. He sniffled, rubbing his eyes again to make sure there weren't any tears left.

"They shot him," he stated, staring right at Mo'at as he said it.

"He…He fought the Sky People and then they threw something at him. There was a loud fire and then they…they-"

He had to stop, the lump in his throat becoming more prevalent as time passed and he clasped his hands together to try and soothe himself. A larger hand encompassed his, a thumb gently rubbing against the back of his hand. Rai'uk looked at him with such a gentle gaze that Tsu'tey couldn't help but break down again.

"...They shot him! The demons shot him!"

Sylwanin could feel the boy's rage when he ended his sentence, fear palpitating in her heart when she realised such disdain would be directed at her if he ever found out how Zazu got involved in the first place. She was not ready to bear full witness to the deaths of her people and took it upon herself to bear the burden of her guilt. Neytiri was sobbing together with Tsu'tey and Zazu's parents while the eldest daughter had no clue as to why she couldn't cry. She could if she tried but would it be selfish of her to do so when she very well led Zazu to his death?

She had no tears to spare right now, only her running thoughts to contribute to the grieving of those who were lost in the battle. No, it wouldn't be right to call it one when Zazu was the only person who fought the enemy. In the end, she was a coward through and through. This was what she had to pay for her negligence.

Warriors left to the school to retrieve the bodies of the boys not long ago and with the majority of the children being treated already, Sylwanin sat by herself in the corner of the communal floor, waiting for the warriors to return. A part of her was hoping it was all a lie and Zazu hadn't actually died but there was no denying the fact that he could not survive a whole group of these humans on his own.

She wondered if she would be feeling the same as Tsu'tey if the boy had been taken from her. Or if she herself was ripped away from life and thrown into Eywa's embrace, would anyone other than her family mourn for her? It wasn't right of her to think that Zazu would be happy, he wouldn't do such a thing, that much she knew.

If so, then why did part of her find relief in his death? She choked on her sobs, silencing herself before anyone heard her. She thought herself as disgusting, wiping away the tears with the back of her hand as she instead thought of how she should've listened to Zazu. Now he and two others are dead, never to return to their family and friends.

Zazu was no longer part of the Omatikaya and his home remained by the ocean. However, a part of him still lived on and his influence had only grown over the years he visited. He was part of the Omatikaya as he was in the Metkayina. This guilt of hers that had nowhere to go, it continued to tear through her whole body when thinking about his family back in the reef. The same family who had lost him once and now had lost him once more for good. All because she wished to prove her worth in such a reckless way and she would never be able to see her friend again.

If what she felt during the shootout was trepid fear, then Zazu would have been absolutely terrified. In those moments where everyone was running off and he was the only person standing against those far stronger than him. How they easily unarmed him and gunned him down like he was a monster meant to be eradicated for the good of humanity. This side of humans was something Sylwanin absolutely despised and destroying a machine of theirs was supposed to send a message.

In the end, neither party won. Both sides had lost too much in this one-sided battle and it was an act of pure recklessness. Of negligence that she had yet to admit to. Through her tears, she prayed to Eywa for forgiveness and for guidance through this hurdle placed in her path. She swallowed her guilt and had it remain in her heart as a lesson she should learn from. But silent repent would not soothe the anger of some and knew she would be confronted one day by those whose rage blinded them.

She didn't wish to imagine the snarls of her people. Most of all, the hatred in Tsu'tey's eyes which would one day be directed at her. Sylwanin continued to pray again and again in her little corner, her prayers continuing on when the warriors returned with the dead, when none could find Zazu's body and the cries of his parents could be heard from where she stood. Most likely he had been taken away by the humans for experimentation.

First bloodied and now to be dissected, it was a fate Sylwanin would not wish on her greatest enemy. However, at this moment, she viewed herself as such and believed it to be deserved. Her hand was placed over her chest where her heart pounded loudly against her ribs like a drum.

Repenting was all she could do and she would walk this path until Eywa finally forgave her for her sins.

Chapter Text

The Na'vi say that every person is born twice. Then what of Zazu? He felt as though he had been born one too many times. The third should have been his death but here he laid on a tough infirmary bed with his blurred vision under the bright ceiling lights. He felt as though he were underwater while small humans in white hazmat suits scuttled around him as they talked in English. The ringing in his ears made it hard to hear what nonsense they were speaking of and when he tried to sit up, his body remained still.

Was he being experimented on? What was happening? So many questions ran through his head but none were answered. His eyes slowly glanced at the needle in his arm and his gaze followed where it led to which was an IV drip. Zazu didn't know what it was but it was something that was travelling into his body, that much he knew. Perhaps it was a drug that the humans were giving him to make him more compliant, or maybe it was meant to slowly kill him from the inside out so that they could dissect him for science.

He slowly turned his head to see the heart monitor with its slow beeps and graph showing a spike before descending back to a flat line. There were so many icons on the screen that he was unfamiliar with, granted, he never knew of such technology until now. Zazu grunted, feeling as though his lips had been sewn shut from how dry they were. His eyes were half-lidded and he was tempted to fall back asleep if not for the constant prodding and loud words of the humans.

Eventually they helped him sit up and his hearing had gotten better, his vision had yet to improve. His left side was dark, as though a black cloud had decided to cover the sun from him. He could feel the eye shifting but barely anything could be seen with it and he didn't know why it was like that. He thought back to the pain he felt when the humans set off the grenade. The way his left eye bled and stained the grass in a shade of bright red blood.

Was this punishment for his greed? Maybe Eywa was disgusted by his actions and was having him repent for his sins. He should not have stolen Tsu'tey away from Sylwanin, he was greedy to do so and he knew he was. He wanted to be the one to mate with Tsu'tey, not her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with the boy who had captured his heart long ago.

But it seemed that he was wrong to wish for such a happy ending. He did not deserve it and he was selfish to think it was his right to have someone love him like Tsu'tey did. In the end, Tsu'tey's love should be going to Sylwanin and Zazu was merely getting in the way.

Hanging his head down low from the depressing thoughts, the reef Na'vi picked up on the door sliding open and in walked a Na'vi woman who wore human clothing. Zazu slowly raised his head, squinting his eyes at the person who had come in.

No, she was not full Na'vi but she looked rather similar to one. The main distinguishing features were her eyebrows and five fingers as compared to the four that Na'vi always had. He believed he had heard of their kind before but never did he think he would see one in person.

"Dreamwalker," he mumbled.

Was she here to greet him like she was Death? Or maybe she was here for another reason. He glanced at the humans who worked at the sidelines to make sure everything was running properly before returning his focus to the woman.

"Who…" He hoarsely whispered.

The avatar dressed in a tank top and cargo shorts took a seat in a high stool given to her and she smiled at the boy. His wounds had been bandaged up with the gauze wrapped over his left eye for it to heal from the trauma. This was the first time she had ever seen him but had heard snippets of his existence here and there from the children in her school. The boy who came from the reef. No doubt the power hungry fools controlling the program want to do tests on him so that they could monopolise the Na'vi who lived elsewhere on Pandora.

While she was definitely interested in his evolved physiology, she needed to focus. In front of her was a scared child. One who shouldn't have to witness the horrific sight that was humanity gunning the Na'vi down like they were feral animals. She gently placed a hand over his, watching as he looked at where she touched with an indescribable expression.

"Kill…me?..." Zazu asked.

The woman didn't know how he learned the first word but figured he must've learned it from either Tsu'tey or Neytiri. If not then then maybe Sylwanin.

"No," she said and paused for a moment, "I'm here to help."

Zazu looked at her and blinked a couple times like he was trying to clear his eyes from the haze that clouded him. He parted his lips but pressed them together when he struggled to find the words.

"You are the teacher…correct? The one from the sky," he asked.

So this was Grace Augustine.

He wondered what she looked like as a human. Most likely shorter, with black hair maybe? He hadn't seen many humans before so he was unsure if they all looked the same. At most he knew that they didn't have tails and weren't blue. They also didn't have a kuru to connect to Eywa which was sad when thinking that they wouldn't be able to hear her voice.

"So you've heard about me. It's nice to finally meet you. The children talk about you a lot," she said.

It came as a surprise that the students in her school would even talk about him. He understood his friends may have brought him up in conversation now and then but he believed that all he was to the others was the strange Na'vi who'd visit every once in a while. His free hand gripped onto the blanket which covered his legs and itched at his skin like sparks of a flame ready to burn through him. Still, he let the blanket drape over him for now and focused on replying to Grace else he would seem rude.

"I have heard of you as well from friends." He stiffly nodded.

He slowly gathered more feeling in his body and he wriggled his toes the best he could. His feet lightly kicked at the blanket and eventually he managed to get it halfway off his legs with the rest of it being removed with the help of Grace. Now he could see the white bandages around his legs which were the same ones on his abdomen and arms. He could feel his head being binded by another roll of gauze and winced when he remembered the loud shouts as the grenade went off.

The pain that has shot through him physically would never match the sorrow in his heart upon seeing the sight of his old friend fall dead in front of him. He still had yet to come to terms with it and part of him wanted to believe it was a bad dream. That maybe Txon'ong was fine and everyone was waiting for him back home.

"How long have I been here?" He then asked.

"...A few weeks. Coming close to a month."

That was far too long for anyone to think of him as alive still. He was sure his family from the reef were waiting for his return unless his forest mother had travelled to Metkayina territory in order to break the horrible news.

"Does my family know of this?"

Grace shook her head, "Not yet. You were in critical condition. You still kind of are. I didn't want to give them false hope."

He had that going for him at the very least. Zazu nodded at her answer, understanding where she was coming from and found no reason to criticise her decision. It was better this way he supposed. He had come close to death one too many times and now he was stuck with the humans in their territory with no way out. His body was still too weak and if he tried to run, the more hostile humans might try to shoot at him.

He didn't want to think about the searing pain from when their bullets would lodge into his body nor the blood that would spill onto the ground because of it.

"Keep it that way. I don't want them to know," he said.

This made Grace both worried and curious about his answer. It wasn't right for him to withhold such viral information from his family. He knew that. Still, he didn't want this cycle of constant death and life to forever loom over their heads like a guillotine ready to slice their heads off the moment he truly died. Zazu kept telling himself it was better like this. Everyone would move on and he wouldn't be a burden to them again.

What use was a child who was sickly and unwell? What use was Zazu if he was now bedridden with no clue on when he'd be able to regain even the basic functions of his body. When could he move, hunt, or do even the simpler things like foraging and weaving?

The only use he had was being some sort of science experiment or a bridge between the humans and the Na'vi from the reef should they ever decide to make contact. His fingers idly picked at the blanket, his lips parted with the thought of speaking once more but with no clue on what to say.

"Why? Why save me?" He whispered.

"Does anyone need a reason to save a life?"

Grace's response made Zazu think over it for a moment. While there was truth in her answer, everyone always had an ulterior motive to things. It was in a living being's nature to be greedy. He was greedy and thus was served to pay the price for such a sin.

"What about everyone else? The other children?" He then asked.

The woman clicked her tongue, lightly tapping Zazu on the nose with a sigh.

"Worry about yourself first. You have a long road to recovery ahead of you," she reminded.

The boy nodded for he knew her words to be the truth but still, he wished to know the amount of damage inflicted upon those of the Omatikaya. He feared that his closest friends may have gotten injured or even worse…

They were shot to death.

He hoped not. The guilt of it all would be too much to bear. Well, knowing that even a single one of the children ended up dead would still leave him breathless. He already felt horrible with the knowledge that he had led his oldest friend to his death and now, Zazu couldn't reverse time to save the ikran. If he chose not to help then Txon'ong would still be alive but then, who at the school would be dead?

It was a losing battle where no one would win. Either more children get shot or it was Zazu and his ikran. Well, just Txon'ong the boy guessed seeing as he was still alive. He believed it should've been him for his friend had a long life ahead of him unlike himself. A boy who had lived through death twice and now a third due to his companion's sacrifice.

It was unfair. To him at least. He wanted to shout as loud as he could to the skies, to beg Eywa to rethink her decision. He should have been the one to return to her embrace and yet it was as if he was rejected time and time again. Each time scarring him more than the last made Zazu hold back all fear felt in the moments leading up to his faux death and the months towards his recovery.

Being taken care of by humans was not something he was expecting but with them, he at least could understand their quirks and the different ways they interacted with each other. In the months of his slow recovery, he learned bits of human language and would communicate with the humans who took on bodies of the Na'vi.

They were nice, yes, but he was never truly able to connect with them. It felt as though there was a barrier between him and the avatars like one back when he first stepped foot into Omatikaya territory. However, the segregation was more obvious seeing as these avatars were humans. Aliens who served no purpose on this land from the countless stories Zazu had heard from peers and adults alike.

The only person he was fine with was Grace and he believed it was because of her motherly nature. Even if she did not believe in Eywa as a deity, she at least acknowledged the land and its beauty. He wanted to show her the oceans and the vast seas ahead but her work with the humans made her busy and so when she wasn't in her avatar, Zazu was busy tending to the plants and weaving baskets out of boredom.

At times, he'd be called in for testing. It was more so just time set aside to observe his difference in biology compared to a Na'vi from the forest. Be it from his thicker arms to his paddle-shaped tail, all this information was jotted down in hopes of either one day creating their own reef Na'vi avatar or just for future purposes of making connections with those in the reef.

All in all, his routine was…simple.

Wake up, eat breakfast, tend to the crops. Maybe he'd be called in for more information on things that the team couldn't understand or maybe there'd be nothing at all.

Then he'd talk with a few others to try and establish a connection. He'd eat dinner and once all the avatars were in bed and their consciousness having returned to their human bodies, Zazu was all alone. Ever since he could walk better, he was posted outside to the dormitory where all the avatars slept and he didn't mind the company yet it was lifeless.

Even if he tried to shake one of them awake, they wouldn't open their eyes. Because these bodies were nothing more than a vessel for the humans who slept far away from where he was. He felt absolutely alienated which was rather ironic considering that these humans were aliens to him. And yet, he was the outlier. Much like how he was back in the Omatikaya and his first home in the Metkayina.

As though he were never enough to fit in anywhere but still he continued on for there was nothing else waiting for him but death. Here, he could not hunt, for the higher-ups did not trust him and could only resort to more passive duties such as cooking, gardening and weaving.

When night came, he would sing to the stars and hoped that somewhere out there, all his loved ones would hear his voice but then again, he also didn't wish for them to.

—

One day Grace sat him down in one of the human recreational rooms and brought over a device. She was much smaller in her human form, having red hair and wrinkles much like the elders of his clan. A woman wise beyond her years and he listened attentively like he was her student.

"I thought I'd introduce you to some human music. You like to sing, don't you?"

She turned on the speaker linked to her phone and she started off with something calming so as to not scare the young man. The song reminded Zazu of the drifting tides and although he might not understand all the words, they seemingly spoke to him in some parts. He nodded along, looking at Grace with those big ocean green eyes of his.

"It is good," he said.

He peered down at the handheld device Grace had and wanted to see more of it. He had caught sight of other humans using such technology although he had no idea of its purpose.

"This." He pointed at her phone. "Music play from here?"

The xenobotanist shook her head, "Not quite."

He eyed the device and the speakers where he could hear the music coming from and found it all the more fascinating. It was like the human's own way of creating tsaheylu between two beings though in their case, two technological objects.

The next song played and this time it was more upbeat. From where Zazu sat, he happily tapped his feet along to the rhythm with his head bobbing from side to side. He smiled at Grace and wanted to hear more of such melodies with how much it made him want to burst out into dance. Though, he'd make sure not to do so in the presence of the public eye lest he make a fool of himself.

"Human music is interesting. Please play more," he pleaded with the woman.

She skipped to another song and Zazu smiled at the upbeat tunes that made his heart pump with energy. It made him just want to get up and dance or at least, jerk around to release this happy feeling within him. His ears flicked in tune to the beat and Grace could already tell how much he enjoyed this contraption.

She hummed, thinking of how she could give him this contraption as a gift without needing a phone. Trying to teach him the inner workings of a handheld device was probably too much and she doubted he would even want to remember so much. Besides, as much as he was intrigued by such technology, he was also easily entertained by watching water flow out of a tap.

It nearly flooded the bathroom she left him in since he was just watching the tap fill up the bathtub and afterwards, the rest of the place. Just the memory of it was making her think about how Selfridge was nagging at her because of it. Speaking of him- actually, she didn't want to think of the man. He, like the many others who couldn't care less about this wonderful land, were so close to gunning Zazu down once and for all. It was only due to his difference in physiology that saved him.

Grace didn't want to tell him of the things the other scientists did under the orders of the higher-ups. She probably wouldn't be able to anyway. She couldn't subject a kid who had seen the horrors of humanity into something of equal or worse value. It weighed heavily on her consciousness but she normally drowned it out by hazing her mind with cigarette smoke.

He wasn't all that different from the children in her school and yet, it was as if he had grown into an adult far quicker than the others. Maybe if he studied with his friends, she could understand and help him, however his appearance left many curious and for the dangerous to prey on. Here in the forest, he was at a disadvantage be it the terrain or socially amongst his peers.

Even here he did not belong but still he pushed on. Because if he was alive then surely it was for a reason. Surely Eywa would have struck him down for good if he was meant to return to her embrace. Then with however much he had left to live, he would continue to do so for Txon'ong. If it wasn't the ikran's life that had been taken, Zazu wondered just whose it would've been.

From weeks to a month to a whole year, by then, everyone in the clan should have forgotten about him. But he hasn't. He should, but he didn't want to. It would be easier to cut ties and start anew but each time he gazed at his songcord, he couldn't help but sing his own story in fear he would forget his family and friends. He had already begun to forget what they looked like and that scared him.

Change was scary and if staying here with the humans meant ignoring the reality set out in front of him, maybe he was fine staying here. He helped Grace with her botany queries of the ocean and just anything pertaining to the Avatar Program in general. They were preparing for new drivers who were coming in soon and by then, two years had passed in a blink of an eye and Zazu had grown into a strong man.

Only the humans could ever see his growth and at times he wondered if his parents would ever be proud to see him this way. Maybe they would scorn him for hanging around humans but he knew not all of them were bad. Grace wasn't bad. She was nice. She treated him like he was her son as strange as it sounds. Despite being a different species, her care for him struck past the line drawn over by both their people and perhaps they weren't so different.

These thoughts came and went as he tended to the plants growing in the compound. At least a mile away was where the new avatars would be. Grace, in her avatar form, was not far off from where he was and it looked like she was expecting something.

Or someone.

Just then, the door to the inner facility slid open and out ran a Na'vi in a hospital gown as the med techs called for him to come back. Zazu slowly stood up from where he once knelt to see what the man would do and he saw as the stranger kept running until he stopped right here in the garden. His toes dug into the soil as if he had never felt it in such a long time and Zazu wondered if all new avatar drivers were this excited or it was just this one.

He ducked back behind the plants and waited for Grace to arrive. At least with her around, he didn't need to worry about getting hurt. He could hear her speaking to the stranger and the way she called him marine. He quietly made his way over to her and this caught the new avatar's attention.

"This is…" He trailed off.

He took note of Zazu's lack of eyebrow hair along with the iconic four fingers. But of course, compared to all the other avatars in the compound, he stood out the most with his lighter skin and curlier hair. He didn't wear human clothes and stuck to his waistcloth which mainly covered what was necessary.

"My name is Zazu," the young man introduced himself, "It is nice to meet you."

"Jake Sully. Nice to meet you too."

He extended a hand out for a handshake and while Zazu was understandable of human customs, it still conflicted with whether he should reach out or not. Supposed he should stick with the human ways since they've been so nice to him but thankfully Grace distracted the other man by tossing him a yovo fruit.

He saw how the man savoured it and could tell he was completely new to all this. Not just Pandora and all that Eywa gives but being an avatar driver as a whole. He was like a baby who knew nothing of the world and maybe in some way the Na'vi found it endearing. Of course, he'd hope to teach all the avatars a bit of home and pray that they'd keep it in their hearts. But they were scientific people at heart.

Jake, however, didn't look to be.

Eventually day turned into evening and the avatars were all about to rest in their beds so that they could unlink and head for dinner. Zazu had already eaten and was laying in a hammock with his thoughts running wild as per usual. The avatars all got into bed like how they usually did and from the corner of his eye, he saw the way Jake was staring at his own queue and wanted to laugh.

He held back of course and opted to turn around so that his back faced everyone else. They wouldn't make conversation with him, not when their actual bodies were somewhere else away from here. In a place he couldn't access whenever he wanted to because to the military, he was considered a threat, scum at the bottom of the barrel. Each time he passed by a soldier, he'd be afraid they would gun him down but he had to always swallow his fear down and keep quiet.

Eventually when he knew everyone unlinked from their avatars, he got out of his hammock to look at each one of them. He stared at Jake first before moving on. Each person looked different from the last which was understandable but also, it reminded Zazu of how out of depth he was. Even if he were standing in a crowd of those who resembled Na'vi, they were not his family or friends. They were not the clan he grew up with.

And that just made him feel even more alone.

—

When the next day came, Grace was busy leading him to where all the helicopters were in her avatar form with Jake and a new face whom he'd come to find out was named Norm. He knew not of the reason she was dragging him off with them, especially considering that by entering the forest, he was inviting the past to catch up to him. He gulped and entered the aircraft with Grace making sure he was seated properly.

This was his first time in one of these things and she didn't want him falling to his death by accident. That would screw up her plan. The Na'vi kept his head low and his breaths quiet, even when everyone was looking out at all the talioang and the greenery below, he kept to himself until the helicopter landed. He stood as far away from Jake as possible and stood next to Norm who was busy asking him all sorts of questions.

"So you're from the reef? What's it like?" He asked.

Zazu opened his mouth to reply but paused. His polite smile faltered and he ended up letting out a nervous chuckle.

"It seems I may have forgotten quite a bit," he answered.

Shame pooled in his stomach and only stirred the ever rocking pot of emotions which were ready to spill at any moment. Here, in a sense, he was home, a home he had somewhat forgotten from the trauma it held but still home. He followed Grace deeper into the dense shrubbery under the guise of leading them away from danger. Supposedly that was the excuse the botanist used in order to have Zazu here with them. Even now, the Na’vi could feel the human gunman eyeing him down, ready to shoot should he make a run for it or turn on them in an instant. Both choices guaranteed his death which was something the man did not want.

The four of them continued deeper and deeper on a route that Zazu had no memory of. This was not the way to the Omatikaya, that much he knew, but it would lead them somewhere. The question was, where? His steps grew heavier and his nerves got the best of him the closer they got to their destination. His breath hitched in his throat when he saw the shambled roof of the school in his line of sight. His hands nervously clenched and unclenched with an unknown fear that gripped his heart whole. The group moved on and he felt himself forced to do the same. Once step in front of the other, eyes ahead into the broken down entryway of the building.

He wanted to turn his head to possibly look at what had become of the destruction he vaguely remembered that day but he didn’t want to think about what would happen if he did. Would he see the remains of his friend half-buried in the dirt? Maybe he would hallucinate the cries of the dead that he worked to slaughter. Unbeknownst to himself, he had stopped walking and the others had gone on ahead to check the school for anything left. He was stuck standing in front of a large patch of grass which was much shorter in comparison to the rest around it. The dirt was uneven like mounds of it had been dug up and then messily filled up again.

Zazu knew in his heart that it was here. Where the fire roared the loudest and the humans shot down his first friend. Where they kicked him down and brandished that forsaken weapon in his face and when-

“Zazu? Zazu! Snap out of it!” Grace shouted.

The Na’vi inhaled deeply and realised there wasn’t the scent of burning wood or smokey fire. He took another deep breath and held it still, heart trembling in his chest as his knees wobbled and failed to hold his weight any longer. His large hands clawed at the dirt beneath him with cold sweat sticking to his skin. He wanted to hurl but all he could do was gasp for air like he was trying to flush out the bad memories with it.

He couldn’t hear what was going on around him and slowly curled into himself with his eyes wide and unblinking. If any other Na’vi saw him like this, perhaps they would think of him as weak. He could already imagine Tsu’tey berating him and his reef father telling him to toughen up. Members of the clan would scorn him and if only he weren’t so weak. If only he had the strength to rival all that has happened to him and yet he was like a small child who was too weak to fight back.

He laid in the dirt for however long, he was unsure. When he began to get up, Grace and Norm had returned but no sign of Jake. The Na’vi looked at the two with a worried gaze and hesitantly reached out to them but refrained from actually making contact.

“Jake…where is he?” He asked.

“Damn marine got himself chased by a Thanator. Norm and I will head to the helicopter and search for him from above. Zazu…” She trailed off and took the younger man’s hands in hers.

This was not a difficult choice for her to make but the consequences of it she’d have to bear. Just like how she bore the guilt of those dead boys on school grounds or how she viewed herself guilty for the trauma inflicted upon the children that day.

“You are leaving me,” he said as a matter of fact rather than a query.

“You need to reunite with your people. You do not belong on the Avatar Compound and no way am I letting Selfridge get close to you,” Grace replied.

“I can bear his anger but the moment he sets his sights on you, it’s over.”

Despite housing the Na’vi male, all the military and the higher-ups wanted was for him to live as quiet as a mouse and not pop his head up in any business. They were being generous by not killing him but Zazu’s fate was left unknown if he returned. Would he be gunned down for losing Jake’s avatar? Or would he be used as a hostage against the Omatikaya when the time arose?

Both options were horrible. One more than the other.

“Then…is this, goodbye?” He asked.

The woman nodded. Zazu’s gaze shifted to look at Norm then back at Grace. He pressed his fingers against his forehead and slightly swept it down to the bridge of his nose before having it leave his face in a downward motion. He did the same thing to Norm and slowly took a step back to better gather the situation laid in front of him.

“Thank you…mother.”

He nodded once at the male avatar and took another step back.

“May Eywa guide you,” he said.

His final words to them as he ventured forth into the forest to return to the Omatikaya. If they would still have him that is. Day turned into night and he was having a harder time navigating the land with his only good eye. Everything on his left was a blind spot and he could be easily attacked by any enemy or predator should they see him as fitting prey. Still, Zazu did his best to leap from one thick branch to the next, even if he nearly fell a couple times. The bioluminescence lighting up the pathway aided his journey home and he followed the woodsprites which he believed were leading them to home.

He ran and ran until his foot tripped on an overgrown root and he was left tumbling over the edge. His hands tried to grab at any vines to slow his descent but to no avail. His body fell atop something soft but the grunt beneath him told Zazu it wasn’t just the ground he hit.
Spears and arrows were aimed at him in all directions and he was rudely pushed off by Jake who had been the man’s unwilling cushion.

“Sorry, Jake,” Zazu apologised.

He helped the dreamwalker get up and dusted him off with a couple pats. He could feel everyone staring at him and he knew why. It wasn’t because he was some random Na’vi from the reef who ended up in Omatikaya territory for when he turned his head to look at the leader of this small group of hunters, his ocean green eye met with those ever so familiar golden yellow irises belonging to the Na’vi who held his heart since they met that year alone.

Another familiar face was the girl he could call a sister but supposed she was already a woman with how he missed her uniltaron. He gave them a smile, albeit an uneasy one. He opened his mouth to speak but his throat closed in on itself and he didn’t know what to say. What could he even say to remedy the two years he had disappeared from?

“Zazu?” Neytiri whispered.

Jake glanced at his unlikely companion beside him and nudged him in the side with an elbow.

“I- I take responsibility for this one.” Zazu visibly forced a smile when gesturing to Jake.

“He is under my care.”

He watched as his old friend dismounted the pa’li he rode and bravely stepped closer to the much taller Na’vi. He glared daggers at Jake but when his gaze fixed back onto Zazu, his features visibly softened but hardened with resolve after processing the words spoken.

“You ally yourself with these... these demons?” Tsu’tey sneered.

“The Sky People were the ones who healed me after the school incident. Were it not for Grace’s help, I would have been shot dead and dissected for parts,” the other hissed in turn.

The two men faced each other in a never-ending staredown until the warrior slowly blinked. He pieced together all the information when he already knew deep down just who was the Na’vi standing in front of him.

“It is you,” Tsu’tey softly gasped.

“Yes…it is me. Have you been well?” Zazu replied.

Flashbacks of that wretched day flashed in Tsu’tey’s mind and he wondered how the other man could casually ask such a question. For Zazu was the one who bore the brunt of a child’s recklessness and yet there was not a single trace of hatred buried in his bones.

Only the ever present exhaustion wearing him down.

Tsu’tey wanted to speak but they had company and there were others who would be overjoyed to find Zazu alive. He gently tugged the reef Na’vi over to his pa’li and gestured for him to get on. He did so with little issue and was pleasantly surprised when he felt Tsu’tey mount from behind him. His back was pressed against the warrior’s chest and he couldn’t help but slouch down in fear of blocking his friend’s view of the road ahead. He glanced at Neytiri, mouthing out words that spoke of explaining later and for now, she had to be satisfied. A heartfelt reunion could be done once Jake’s circumstances had been resolved.

Tsu'tey obviously led the group which gave them some space away from the others. His hands rested on Zazu's outer thighs to help him keep steady but all this physical contact was to remind the future Olo'eyktan of how physically present the man he once dreamed to have in his arms was finally here. All the words he wanted to whisper and entangle Zazu's heart in with the wish for his chosen mate to do the same.

"I missed you," Tsu'tey quietly confessed.

Zazu let out a short exhale from his mouth.

"I missed you as well."

He paused for a moment before he continued, "You've matured in the two years I've been gone. Not as boyish."

The Na'vi's light-hearted chuckle at the end spoke of his teasing nature and Tsu'tey realised how much he missed the sound of Zazu's laughter. Even just the glimmer in his eyes or the touch of his skin sent Tsu'tey reeling and praying to Eywa for strength. Two years felt like far too long to reunite but his chosen one was here now and he didn't care how much longer it would take as long as they stuck together.

If Tsu'tey had to slaughter the camp of the Sky People to release the burden which shackled Zazu, he would willingly do so. If it meant stepping down as future Olo'eyktan, he would do it in a heartbeat. Zazu was the sun in his eyes. The ever bright light which graced him in the day and warmed his skin in the coldest of waters.

How he longed for this day and the many others that would come in turn. His lips discreetly kissed Zazu's shoulder in an act of affection and he could visibly see the way the taller male flinched in surprise. It was a mystery as to what expression he was making but Tsu'tey guessed it was one of pure embarrassment. It made him quietly chuckle and until everything settled down, he was content with having Zazu seated in front of him and held in his arms.

Chapter Text

Zazu recognised Hometree the moment the group had gotten close enough. He nervously gulped. In there were his parents, Na'vi who knew of him as a child and the many others who probably heard his name. He and Jake would stand out amongst the crowd and he was sorrowfully waiting for the judgment that would strike him down. He got off the pa'li with Tsu'tey's help and he couldn't help but gently grip the warrior's hand as if afraid it would turn into dust like a dream.

He turned his attention to the path leading into Hometree and allowed himself to be led to the central communal area where he could see Eytukan already there. He gulped and slowly but surely the group reached right in front of the Olo'eyktan for Jake's sentence.

Zazu greeted the older Na'vi and a flash of recognition flickered in Eytukan's eyes. Despite the years and the scars which laid upon the young man, it was still the boy whom the chief saw each time all so long ago. The one who would play with his two daughters and visited with trinkets coming from the ocean. The child who smiled ever so brightly hardened by the devastation of the battlefield with memories he can never truly forget.

"How is it that you are alive?" He asked.

Tsu'tey took his place by the Olo'eyktan and as much as he wished to stay by Zazu's side, there were bigger issues at hand. He could see the way the reef Na'vi slightly trembled and wondered just what inexplicable horrors the humans had subjected his loved one to. No doubt it was something heinous for it to shake Zazu up this way. Even if it were humans who aided in Zazu's recovery, it didn't mean that he wasn't going to kill every other human that threatened his people.

Still, he bit his tongue and listened to his love's every word. Anything more personal could be shared with him at a later time. Tsu'tey silently took a deep breath.

Two years. Two years of mourning when Zazu had been alive all this while. He knew the other male had not perished and yet, it felt so unreal to see him in person when all he had were dreams. However, a part of him was frustrated.

Why? Why did it take two years for Zazu to return to his arms? He should be glad it wasn't longer but he had half-expected his chosen mate to run towards him with open arms but for him to be so avoidant was…troubling to say the least. Tsu'tey's mind warped and crumbled with each unanswered question that popped up. He knew he'd have to get his answers later but aside from the matter of Zazu returning, there was the dreamwalker whom his beloved swore to be under his protection.

The warrior sneered at Jake. A clueless fool who had no right to be near Zazu but still was. How long had they known each other? Was Jake a secret lover on the side during those two years? Now he had even more questions burning on the tip of his tongue.

"While this creature is under your care, I have ordered that no dreamwalker is to come here. His alien smell fills my nose," Eytukan said.

Neytiri stepped up to take over the conversation.

"Father, many atokirina came to this alien."

Jake looked at Zazu in confusion, leaning in closer to whisper his query to the reef Na'vi.

"What's going on ?" He asked.

"The chief is deciding whether to kill you ," Zazu replied with a closed-eyed hum.

"The chief?!" Jake exclaimed with raised eyebrows.

He extended an arm as a way of greeting as he said, "Uh, good to meet you, sir."

The hunters around them bared their weapons and were about ready to pierce him if not for a loud voice commanding them to stop. Zazu had pulled Jake back and slapped his hand away seeing as human customs weren't going to help the avatar here. Turning his head to the spiral staircase, he saw Mo'at followed by Sylwanin and his mother whose mouth was agape upon catching sight of him.

Zazu greeted the tsahìk and she smiled at him with one hand coming up to grasp his chin. She moved his head left and right to check for any other injuries but found none. His single good eye stared at her and her fingers brushed over the gnarly scar.

"I will look at this alien," she said, "Zazu, return to your mother."

The tall male bowed his head and quietly whispered his acknowledgement to her words. He took a final glance at Jake and gave him a small nod as though he were telling the avatar to behave. The crowd parted and an empty path was laid where he could clearly see his mother waiting for him with bated breath. A few Na'vi in the back curiously watched but their gaze would never stay long.

When Zazu was just a few steps in front of Maru, the woman was quick to envelope him up into a tight hug. His breath stilled and it took all of his strength to not break down when Jake was still being judged. He wrapped his arms around his mother and listened to her quiet sobs in the night. She whispered prayers to Eywa which thanked the higher being for her son's return.

This was real.

She was real. The earth beneath his feet was real. He was here in Omatikaya territory with his mother fussing over him like a newborn child. Tears of joy trickled down her cheeks and while Mo'at already checked him for injuries, it didn't stop Maru from feeling every inch of skin for any bruises or cuts.

The only visible scar was the one which blinded his left eye but other than that, there was nothing else. Sure he might have been a little skinnier in his mother's eyes but it was only due to the humans not hunting enough meat and either relying on their earthly food or fruits of this land. There was talioang but never enough in his opinion.

"I am fine, Mama. The Sky People helped me return," he assured the woman.

"And how can I be so sure you won't be kidnapped again? While it is because of the Sky People that you have returned, it is also because of them that you were taken away from us," she said.

Her hands cupped her son's cheeks with her thumbs pressed gently into the fat. It felt like only yesterday she was holding Zazu's face the same way. How he only reached her chest and would whine when she babied him but would still flash her a toothy smile to show he didn't mind. How he shone so brilliantly and would wave goodbye each time he went off to play with his friends like he didn't wish to part from either her or Rai'uk.

Now that light had dimmed and Zazu was anticipating the worst. An outcome which wouldn't arrive but still he feared it. He gently pulled away from his mother's hands and felt the lingering presence once pressed into his skin now biting like a fiery termite.

"I am a man now. I am not a baby. I'm sure Baba would say the same."

"You know your father would have you stay in Hometree until you grow old if it meant you'd be safe," she retorted.

"He has nothing to worry about. Neither do you. I have returned, that is all that matters, yes?" He softly smiled at the woman.

She bit her bottom lip to stop herself from retorting. Her son was home and yet it didn't feel like him at all. Even so, he was her son and let the world be damned in fire before she even decided to abandon him. She gently held his hands in hers and squeezed his fingers like one might do to a baby.

"Yes. Come, dinner is soon. You must eat," she said.

A commotion could be heard in the center of the crowd but Zazu couldn't intervene when his mother was already pulling him away to the communal eating area. He did his best to glance back at where Jake was but all he could do was hear the indignant shout of Neytiri and the hush of Mo'at.

He was pushed up the spiral staircase and to where a few Na'vi were cooking the last remainders of dinner for the whole clan. A few of the older members gasped in surprise with one of them running off for a reason Zazu had no idea of. It made him uneasy to be in the eyes of so many for he believed he should be confident like a warrior who survived death and beyond but his heart was as meek as a mouse.

He nodded in greeting to those who were present and was startled when he heard the ever familiar voice belonging to his father. The panic evident with each word the man spoke paired with the disbelief and exasperation as he got closer to where Zazu was. The younger male held his breath in fear that just doing anything may shatter this strong wall he struggled to hold.

His eyes made contact with Rai'uk and the warrior quietly gasped with one hand over his mouth. His voice broke as he did his best to say the words he had been wanting to say for so long but they only came out as quiet whimpers.

"My son," he whispered with tears in his eyes.

He took a step forward, then another. Slowly but surely he approached Zazu who looked down at his father with barely any emotion on his face but all of them swirling within him like a typhoon. He pursed his lips as if afraid to speak and he glanced at his mother for help. She merely pushed him forward with her knuckles lightly digging into his tense muscles and he lowered his head in shame when his father was right in front of him. 

He greeted the other male with a hesitant gesture towards his forehead.

"Father…" He muttered.

Much like Maru, Rai'uk was quick to pull him into a hug so tight that the reef Na'vi felt as though his bones might snap. He was rocked from side to side like a baby and he awkwardly patted the warrior's back. Still, he lowered his head till his nose brushed over his father's shoulder and took a deep breath.

He too was real. The idea of returning to his forest home was an idea far from Zazu's mind for he didn't think it would happen. A part of him wanted to bury it all and have himself appear dead but Grace didn't give him that option. So he was left to confront the future he feared and while it was stupid of him to believe his parents' kindness wasn't real, his mind was too muddled to think of it as anything else.

They should have moved on. Cut their losses and find someone better. Maybe create a new life if they really wanted to. It was easy, so easy but they held him like he was their entire world and he had no clue how to process that. Maru joined the hug and Zazu’s lips trembled with each passing second. Tears slowly trickled down his cheeks and he buried his face between their shoulders to hide this shameful part of himself.

–

When it was time for dinner, Zazu was seated next to his parents with Tsu’tey joining him on his right. His eyes widened in surprise for a short moment but was quick to relax into a calmer expression. His hand played with his food for a little bit but ultimately brought it past his lips to start eating once more. He had to slap Tsu'tey's hand away when he'd offer more food from his plate when Zazu already had enough for the night.

"At this point you're giving me your whole dinner. Eat. Before I feed you like a baby," he warned.

He put some more teylu on the warrior's plate and glared at him to prove his point further. They were seated in the middle circle and could only catch glimpses of Neytiri and Jake when they entered the inner circle to get their food. Tsu'tey clicked his tongue when he saw the alien. He didn't understand why Jake was being protected by Zazu or the decision Mo'at had of having Neytiri teach the man but he couldn't argue with the tsahìk, nor did he wish to argue with the man he once believed to be long gone.

His tail subconsciously curled around Zazu's and his once tense shoulders relaxed when he wasn't rejected. He found it easier to finish his dinner and when the night grew later and the people dispersed, he pulled his love to one side with a glance towards the Na'vi's parents in hopes of getting some privacy.

"I would like to speak to you…alone," he said.

Zazu held back a sigh and nodded. He could feel the gaze of those curious enough to watch and how it pricked his skin like needles. He gulped and nodded once more to let Tsu'tey lead him away. He wanted to look back, to see if Sylwanin was looking at them but he didn't think his heart could take it if she really was. In these two years, had their future union been nullified? Or was it only because he was gone did they cling onto the hope of Tsu'tey and Sylwanin forging a path together?

The warrior who led him deeper into the safe parts of the forest was a grown man. Not unlike the boy he once was and it was clear the two of them had grown. His green eyes glazed over Tsu'tey's figure with one hand curiously brushing over the man's right ear. Right beneath the lower cartilage where a chunk was missing and had healed from the past. This wasn't there before, Zazu knew that.

Tsu'tey flinched with his breath hitching in his throat when his ear was touched and was saddened when his love's warm touch drew back. He turned around and he parted his lips to speak but no words came out. He was struggling to find just what he wanted to say. He had thought of it time and time again only for his throat to constrict right when the hunter didn't want it to.

He had dreamt of this day, to speak to Zazu be it through Eywa or in the flesh. He knew the other couldn't be dead when he couldn't contact him through the Tree of Voices but still, to have the Na'vi stand in front of him this way, it was like Eywa was finally answering his wishes.

"I-" He paused.

His tongue subtly stuck out to lick the corner of his upper lip when he was still trying to find the right words. He opened his mouth once more but the other male spoke first.

"You have been well, yes?" He said.

Tsu'tey nodded, "Yes. I- I am glad to see you are healthy."

Scarred but alive and well. He brought a hand over Zazu's injured eye and the taller Na'vi visibly took a step back before awkwardly laughing and casually hiding the scar with his arm as if rubbing the area. The forced smile he held was much more obvious compared to the past but still he held on in hopes it would relieve others of their worry.

"You shouldn't touch it. It is…bad," he said with a chuckle.

"It isn't.”

That made Zazu quiet. His larger hand was intertwined with Tsu’tey’s and he nervously gulped from the gentle touch. Feather-like and from a dream, he so desperately wished to cling onto it but the greed of it all was tempting him to try. To grasp onto the one in front of him and find out what disastrous consequences would occur.

"This ear," Tsu'tey's voice brought him out of his trance.

The warrior pointed at his right ear where he had been nicked. It wasn't a small wound by any means but neither was it so large that it was distracting to the eye. It had healed well and one might think Tsu'tey had been born that way had Zazu not spent time admiring every single feature which adorned the hunter's physical self.

"It happened the day of the school incident. I didn't know they had shot me because I was more worried for the others, for you," he confessed.

He looked up at the reef Na'vi with his eyes on the brink of tears and heaved a heavy sigh. He brought Zazu's hand up to his forehead and gently squeezed his fingers to comfort his turmoiled self in this strange situation they had found themselves in. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them once more.

"I wish you didn't take so long to return. Why stay so long with them? Is this Jake Soolly the reason you did not return? Is he-" Tsu'tey bit his tongue to stop himself from spewing anymore nonsense.

"He has not been here long. He is new. Both to us and the humans," Zazu assured.

"But you have pledged him your protection-"

"It is his safety that will protect Grace ," he growled in return.

His fingers dug into the palm of his hand and he wanted to say more but his burdened heart wouldn't let him. He let out a scoff and turned his head to the side out of sheer frustration. There was much he had yet to explain. He only gave vague details of his time in the Avatar Compound and none of the excruciating pains his mind had broken into. He was a warrior who survived death with a scar to tell of his battle against the Sky People.

But was it worth it?

Was it worth losing vision in one eye and having to live through the flashbacks of the past? Was fighting them worth the mental exhaustion it brought Zazu in the end?

He'd say yes if it meant fewer of them died that day but a selfish part of him said no if only he had to bear the consequences of one's actions. He warned her. He told her not to do it but his greed pushed her to limits she could not break past. The ugly part of him wanted to blame it all on her, but he couldn't. He shouldn't.

She was just a simple factor in the whole equation and in actuality, they should be blaming the humans who shot at them like flies. Children who were nothing more than pests in their eyes much like the insect creatures of earth, many humans seemed to have no trouble sending them to their death.

How pitiful it was imagining the children praying to Eywa for safety. For peace from this silent war which plagued this world of theirs. The looming fear of being chased out of their home or killed in cold blood. It was too much for a child to bear so what of the child who survived the horrors he had no choice but to face? He did not have his people to comfort and shelter him, not his family whom he wished had whisked him away.

As much as he kept them at arm's length to save them the hassle, he wanted them to come to the compound and demand him back. He wanted them to actively search for him, he wanted to hear news from the humans that Na'vi from the Omatikaya were looking for him.

Zazu didn't even know he was crying until a hand cupped his cheek with a thumb swiping over the cool tears running down his face. His breath was caught in his throat and he looked down in shame from the tears he shed in front of Tsu'tey. He was quick to wipe them away but more kept coming and blurred his already impaired vision.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he chanted over and over again.

He didn't know what else to do other than to hide his face in his hands. His palms were wet from the tears and snot dropped out from his nostril like he was a prepubescent child who didn't know how to clean himself properly. He was dirty and this filth was something he didn't want Tsu'tey to touch. He drew back from the warrior's warmth and feared to look Tsu'tey in the eye.

He kept muttering apologies and backed away until his back hit a tree. He slid down the trunk to squat on the ground, the rough bark scratching his back and inflicting minor cuts which would be detrimental if left untreated. His fingers curled inwards as if to gouge his eyes out and his hands were forcefully pulled away from him when doing so.

His one good eye stared at Tsu'tey with all the hurt he had been trying to bottle up ever since getting here.The shame, the disappointment, but most of all, the fear.

Oh, the fear .

"You are fine. You are safe. I'm here," Tsu'tey assured.

He knelt down on one knee and held one of Zazu's hands. The other was gently tracing shapes onto his chest to soothe his rapidly beating heart and muddled mind. Zazu gasped every once in a while when he was trying to stop his crying and these gasps evolved into hiccups.

"Don't- hic- look at me," he cried.

He held his breath to stop the sounds escaping his throat but to no avail. Here he didn't wish to be a mess and yet he inevitably was from all the feelings he held back from those closest to him. Hands which eventually grabbed onto Tsu'tey like the Na'vi were a lifeline with his forehead pressed against the warrior's shoulder slickened with cold sweat. Ragged breaths acting as puffs of heat in the cool night as the two embraced one another in the dark illuminated by the bioluminescent plants around them.

Two years. Two years of not knowing what had happened to Zazu other than the knowledge that he had not perished. It made Tsu'tey wonder if his beloved had ever dreamt of him as much as he did him. To be able to hold him close and relish in the feeling of unabashed love. Every Na'vi, every place in which the two frequented, it all reminded Tsu'tey of the sun who had entered his life one day and nestled into his heart without him knowing.

The sun who wept in front of him with dim rays unlike the ever bright light the star once shone. A sun whom Tsu'tey still loved here and now. Two years and a first love, part of him was ready to bury it yet it bloomed in full when he locked eyes with Zazu hours ago.

He wrapped one arm around Zazu's waist with the other cradling the reef Na'vi's face close to the crook of his neck. Quiet whimpers and trepid sobs echoed in Tsu'tey's ear and he whispered back the words he wanted to all this while.

"I love you. I love you so much," he murmured.

He pressed delicate kisses along Zazu's jawline and held him still like they were long lost lovers who had finally reunited. He didn't say what else he was thinking, otherwise the moment would be ruined but if he could, he feared he might not like the answer.

For if Tsu'tey whispered his love for Zazu with no hesitation, then what of Zazu?

"Do you love me too?" Tsu'tey could only wonder.

In these two years, had he thought of Tsu'tey just as much? Had he longed for the other's touch like a beast hungry for more? A sobbing fool who knew humans had snatched away a facet of his happiness like they were playing god. Humans did this to Zazu but they also healed him enough to return home.

Grace helped him.

The dreamwalker whom the children of the school referred to as mother. The woman who helped them the best she could and helped Zazu even if he might have been a lost cause. Tsu'tey took a deep breath and finally his own tears fell onto Zazu's face similar to morning dew from the large leaves they used to hide under as kids.

All the crying was starting to tucker Zazu out and his grip slackened. No doubt would bruise marks be seen on Tsu'tey's body but the warrior could care less when he was here comforting his dearly beloved. The sun he adored and reflected since the start. He brought the large hand up to his lips and kissed every knuckle to soothe Zazu further.

"Let's go to sleep," he said.

"Here?" Zazu frowned in confusion.

"At Hometree. I don't think your parents want me to have you all to myself," Tsu'tey chuckled.

He helped Zazu up to his feet and delicately brushed away any leaves that might have gotten stuck in his hair. The beads he once wore were now gone and a bitter feeling churned in Tsu'tey's stomach from the sight. He pushed it aside to not worry the other male and quietly led him back home. Many were getting ready to sleep with families getting in their hammocks and having to first walk up from the communal area, Maru and Rai'uk were already waiting for them.

Rai'uk was the more impatient of the two and was tapping his foot against the ground with his arms crossed together. His ear flicked with each sound he tried to pick up on in hopes it would be Zazu. He glared at Tsu'tey for a split second the moment the two came into view but calmed himself when seeing that nothing was out of place. He could hear his mate slightly chuckle overprotective nature but he knew better and could tell that she already wanted to drag Zazu to the swaynivi.

Even if he was bigger now, the couple had missed out on two years without him. All that development and they weren't there every step of the way. To them, he was still that child whom they fostered without a single hesitation the moment they saw him. Ever so mature yet lost like a child who had no idea of their purpose. If only they could hold him in their arms forever in order to ease the worries eating at both his heart and mind but all they could do at times was watch from behind the barrier he had put around his fragile self.

Tsu'tey slowed his pace when they nearly arrived. His slow steps made Zazu look at him with a puzzled expression and the warrior softly smiled at him in return.

"I will see you in the morning. Goodnight, Zazu.”

“I-” The other stuttered but he merely nodded and detached his hand from Tsu’tey’s.

“In the morning then.”

He awkwardly glanced at the warrior for a moment before turning around to where his parents stood. He let himself be led upstairs to where all the hammocks were and saw many others who were getting ready for the night. He let out a silent breath of relief and laid between his parents who embraced him like a child. Tomorrow he would sleep alone for sure but tonight, the couple who had their son return to them would relish this moment for as long as they could.

Their son who shouldn’t have had to grow up so soon but still did and both put the blame on themselves for letting such a thing happen. Zazu closed his eyes, knowing his parents were watching over him like what Grace had told him of guardian angels. Maru was staring intently at her child and her concentration was never broken until Rai’uk gently forced her to close her eyes as well.

“Sleep. He will still be here in the morning,” he told her.

“And if he isn’t?”

He cupped her face and gently rubbed a thumb over her cheek.

“He will be. Have I ever lied to you?”

Maru eventually sighed and finally shut her eyes. She opened them again to lightly glare at her mate who looked at her with a sheepish grin. He quietly cleared his throat and got himself into a more comfortable position but still propped up enough to see his family first before he went to sleep.

“I will sleep. Don’t worry about me,” Rai’uk assured.

The woman’s stern expression relaxed and she reluctantly nodded. She laid her head down and she did her best to see Rai’uk past her son’s figure. She slowly blinked once then twice.

“I love you,” she whispered.

The man who had been her rock just as much as she had been his through the many years. From when they were children till now with their own son who had grown into a fine man, she could trust him with anything and everything with whatever laid in her heart. She closed her eyes as her ears twitched to try and hear what Rai’uk might say in turn.

“I do too."

—

When morning came, it wasn't all that different. Or at least, Zazu tried not to think about it too much when it was clear how his life had turned a full hundred eighty degrees. He sat up without his father sleeping next to him but his mother remained with one hand holding onto his forearm in her sleep. The sun was beginning to rise and many hunters roused from their slumber to get some food for their families or for themselves.

He resisted the temptation to join them and remained by his mother's side until she woke up. Now that it was no longer night, he'd soon have to speak to Neytiri or Sylwanin but supposed he'd deal with it when the time came. He didn't know what he'd tell them or what he should feel for having half his sight and his best friend taken from him in the blink of an eye.

He wanted to blame Sylwanin and scorn her for her actions but she too was a child then. They were children going up against grown adults whose weapons were lethal to even the plants around. They never stood a chance against those machines and Zazu bitterly swallowed the truth.

Playing the blame game wouldn't help anyone, much less the grief which had yet to detach itself from his heart. If he truly wanted to blame someone, then he would blame himself as per usual. He pushed Sylwanin to her limits and thus she decided to act on her reckless plans. He was the wedge between her and her happy ending which made him wonder just how everything would have played out if he was never here in the first place.

He'd imagine he'd have died early and the Omatikaya clan would have been none the wiser. Txon'ong might grow lonely but would have found another rider somewhere down the line. He was inconsequential to the plot like a side character in those English stories Grace let him read. Maybe he wasn't even that important to be a side character, instead he'd be someone in the background you'd barely bat an eye at.

These new thoughts remained in his mind even when he was eating breakfast with his parents and when he was approaching the area where Jake was training. There, Neytiri was aiding the dreamwalker who was struggling to get on a pa'li. He watched from a distance seeing as he didn't wish to disturb them and quietly squatted down to hide his taller self.

He observed Jake with unbreakable focus and was quick to slap a hand over his mouth before his laughter reached Neytiri's ears. He quietly chuckled after having seen the avatar fall into the mud trying to ride the mount for he was practically tossed back by the pa'li.

He stood up when he decided to try and help Jake just a little in order to alleviate Neytiri's burden. However, before he could approach, he heard the sound of galloping pa'li and saw Tsu'tey coming up beside the avatar with a rookie hunter not too far behind.

He tentatively approached the group with his steps ever so silent and breath stuck in his throat. His ears twitched to try and hear what they might be talking about but a part of him was still afraid to approach.

"You should go away," Tsu'tey said to Jake.

"No, you'd miss me," the dreamwalker said in turn.

He pointed a finger at the warrior, his gaze locked onto Tsu'tey in a battle of egos.

"I knew you could speak English."

Tsu'tey let out a chuckle akin to one of amusement. He had the ability to shoot Jake and kill him at that moment but refrained from making any rash decisions. He glanced to the side and caught sight of Zazu's light blue skin which made his pupils grow like full moons in the dark night.

Jake didn't get another sentence in when Tsu'tey got off his pa'li and headed to where Zazu was. The taller male was startled to see his friend approach him so quickly and awkwardly held onto Tsu'tey's forearms when the forest Na'vi approached him.

"You should be resting. You will worry your parents," he advised.

"They let me leave. Besides, I'm not a baby, Tsu'tey," Zazu replied.

The warrior grinned as his tail swayed in glee at the mention of his name. His ever joyous mood wasn't unnoticed by the group he was with beforehand and Neytiri merely rolled her eyes at her friend's puppy dog behavior. She tugged Jake away to a different area down the road to continue their training while the two lovebirds were left conversing.

"Go back, there are things you need to do, yes?" Zazu said.

Tsu'tey nodded but he wanted to stay here. Even if it meant shirking his burdensome amount of work for a short while, at least it meant he'd be with the ever breathing Zazu. Many times he had nightmares of Zazu’s dead body being cradled in his arms but everything was fine in this moment if he could just relieve his worries by feeling and admiring the Na’vi before him. Zazu gently nudged him back and gestured with his head at the pa’li the warrior was once riding.

“I’ll see you during dinner,” he said and the other male could only reluctantly nod his head.

Tsu’tey casted a final glance before riding elsewhere with his fellow hunter following behind him. Zazu let out a deep sigh and followed the stream to where Jake was once again getting on a pa'li. He had yet to notice his ever alien companion and neither did Neytiri who was too focused on making sure the dreamwalker didn't die just yet.

"You're being too forceful," Zazu finally said.

The sudden sound caused Jake to fall flat on his ass and hiss at the discomfort the mud brought on his body.

The avatar huffed but mounted the pa'li again with a raised eyebrow to see what the taller Na'vi might say.

"You must be one with her. Like a drop in the ocean," he paused for a moment.

"Be water," Neytiri helped him translate.

Zazu nodded, "Yes, water. Like fish."

"Easier said than done." Jake rolled his eyes but still took their advice to heart.

While he was making the connection with the six-legged creature, Neytiri shifted her attention to her friend. The friend whom she thought had died with those two other boys in the school incident. Her hand came up to graze over his arm and he flinched before relaxing. This minut action did not go unnoticed but the tension which wrapped itself around the two of them prevented Neytiri from speaking any further.

She gulped but who would she be if not blunt? Would she be like the many around them who coddled Zazu to no end or would this attitude of hers be seen as rude? She bit her bottom lip and firmly patted his shoulder before gently squeezing it.

“You have been missed,” she said as a matter of fact.

“I know. I missed you too if that's what you're wondering,” Zazu replied.

Then why didn't you return sooner? Why now of all times? Were you just forced to return? If not then, would you have never come back?

These were the thoughts swirling in Neytiri's head. Similar yet held with a touch of familial love from the brother she never had. Though not related, she deemed him family much like how she had grown to see Tsu'tey as a brother as well. The two years spent in that time without Zazu solidified their relationship with hands held together like young children who mourned the loss of a loved one. Looking over the empty grave where Zazu’s body should have been with one made beside it for Txon'ong.

No body was found but the heart wrenching feeling remained like a fresh wound stabbed into again and again. Now the wound has scabbed over but was slowly being reopened and getting dug into like it were trying to torture those closest to him.

“You think too much. It's unlike you.” Zazu pulled Neytiri into a quick hug and kissed her forehead to soothe her worries.

“Think nothing of it, sister. I'm home and that's what matters.”

But there was more. Neytiri knew there was so much more but her brother's now guarded walls prevented her from currently asking him more. She simply sighed and nodded at his words. Perhaps Sylwanin would have a better chance at gaining answers from him but she wouldn't be surprised if even her older sister couldn't get an ounce of information from Zazu.

Speaking of Sylwanin…

“She wants to see you,” she informed him.

“Where is she?” Zazu asked.

Neytiri hummed in response, “The river? She normally goes there nowadays.”

The taller Na'vi nodded, ready to seek the last person who he had yet to speak to. He gave Neytiri one final look before swiftly pulling her into another hug, this time tighter than the last.

“Stay safe, sister,” he said.

He smiled at her and left the area to seek Sylwanin. His feet led him onto a familiar route, one which he felt he was forgetting and remembering at the same time. A few times he would take a wrong turn but found the right way after racking his brain for a bit. Ducking under the overgrown leaves, his gaze locked onto the lone figure by the riverbank.

He slowly walked towards her, stomping on the ground a bit to alert her of his presence lest he scared her too much. Pursing his lips, Zazu decided to sit next to her with his knees pressed to his chest while he looked off into the horizon. He kept quiet for a bit, opening his mouth to speak but closed it again.

“We were just kids then,” he tried to assure her.

It was quiet for a bit until he heard her speak.

“...I nearly got you killed,” she whispered.

“They would have killed us all in the end.”

There was a beat of silence, then the sound of shuffling as Sylwanin got closer to Zazu to look at his face. The gnarly scar which spread out like a star and burdened him with a loss of vision coupled with the invisible scars left behind made her gulp. Changed far beyond what one might have wished upon themselves. What one might have wished upon their enemies.

“I'm sorry,” she said with a numb heart.

All the guilt she harbored for the past two years made it hard for her to finally cry when faced with the man who warned her from the start. Was he secretly disappointed in her? Or perhaps he enjoyed seeing her rot in the hellhole she dug for herself. She turned her head to the side to try and rid herself of such thoughts. She knew he would never be so vile but back then in that forest, she was.

Vile and ugly to have her people killed by machinery brought by the sky people. It should have been her who should have died if she knew what would have happened and yet she lived. Alive and well to see the one person who should have died that day too.

“There's no need to apologize. I should be the one who's sorry.” He smiled.

Sorry for ever joining the clan?

Sorry for making friends?

Sorry that he didn't die that day.

Chapter Text

With new additions came the feeling of change. Neytiri had never been a mentor, not when it was Zazu who was doing the teaching. To her, he held as much knowledge as Sylwanin did, the two definitely being wiser than what their age suggested. If only he were the one to teach Jake of their ways, she was sure he would do it easily but instead she was left struggling with someone who knew nothing.

Supposedly Jake's lack of knowledge on their culture and world was what made it smoother than if she were to teach one of these scientists Zazu had told her of before. But teaching the avatar had its own difficulties that she hated. What was that calming technique her brother had taught her? Dunking her head in water to clear her mind? She had seen him do it countless times but cringed at the thought of it.

She didn't wish to have her head constantly drenched in water just because of the worries which plagued her mind. Or rather, it was the stress which wrung her dry whenever she had to sit between Sylwanin and Zazu with the unspeakable tension in the air. Neither would bring it up but there was a sort of camaraderie that came with it. A silent vow.

It would have been fine if it just ended there but adding Tsu'tey into the mix had so many unspoken words eating at the comfortability of her morning meal. At least with Jake, she didn't have to sit through a potential lover's quarrel. She just needed to answer his idiotic and sometimes not as stupid questions for him to learn. He was like a child, albeit, a grown one. And she wasn’t good with children, not like Zazu was.

This sudden responsibility entrusted onto her was far different from her usual routine but at least it kept her occupied. Well, it was also keeping Zazu occupied seeing as he'd come over time and time again to help out. Once again he was actively avoiding Tsu'tey and Sylwanin, his guilt eating him up inside and rendering him a fool. Neytiri would always chide him whenever he took a seat next to Jake but never did she chase him off. The task of teaching the dreamwalker was as much a distraction to Neytiri as it was for Zazu.

Today, however, was archery training and while the woman was busy helping Jake with his posture, Zazu was left alone to try and aim right. The higher ups in the human encampment never allowed him to have weapons. Not even a single dagger. He didn't know where his dagger went, nor where the bow Tsu'tey had gifted him disappeared to. Maybe it snapped during the battle or was snatched away by a human. In any case, he struggled a bit with a bow slightly too small for his large hands.

His fingers didn't fit right and it felt like he was dealing with a child’s bow rather than one belonging to a hunter. He clicked his tongue and lowered it to face the ground. His hand ached and he closed it into a fist a couple times to get rid of the numbing feeling. Perhaps it was fine when he was younger, not having such big hands as he did now.

Zazu tried again, pulling back the bow string and aiming at the forest but his aim wavered and he once again failed to steady his arms. He had definitely gotten rusty or maybe his skills in archery were never as good as he thought. Maybe because of that, he wasn't able to save everyone.

“Your elbow is too low,” a familiar voice spoke.

Calloused hands slid over Zazu’s arms and repositioned him with a sturdier stance. The taller Na'vi could feel Tsu'tey’s breath hitting the crook of his neck and he held himself back from shuddering. He lowered his head in embarrassment but was forced to look forward once more when the hunter lifted his chin up.

Eventually Tsu'tey stepped away and looked at Zazu's form before nodding his head.

“Good,” he said.

Zazu heaved a sigh of relief as he relaxed his grip on the bow and lowered it to the ground. He forgot how much strain it put on his arms and shook them a bit to prevent them from cramping up.

“I thought you were with the new hunters?” He asked.

“I have finished training with them for the day so I came to check on you when I heard you were practising archery with… him ,” the warrior replied.

The taller Na'vi rolled his eyes, “He has a name. If Neytiri and Sylwanin can say it, you should be able to as well.”

He heard a harsh scoff come from Tsu'tey and let out a short exhale out of amusement.

“Tch- I will never say that demon’s name. It is disgusting on my tongue,” Tsu'tey said with his lips curled into a snarl.

“Come now.” He brought a hand up to hold Tsu'tey's. “He is trying to fit in. We should commend him for that. It is not easy to be an outsider in the people's eyes.”

Tsu'tey was quick to pick up on the invisible words unsaid by his beloved and gently squeezed Zazu’s hand to comfort him. He brought it up to his lips before bringing it up to his forehead.

“You are different from him. You are not a false Na'vi. You are Ma Zazu. He is… Jake .” He grimaced at the end.

Zazu laughed and cupped Tsu'tey’s face. But as quick as his act of affection came, he was just as quick to remove his hand. Whether out of fear or shame, it made Tsu'tey frown and he forced Zazu’s hand back up to where it was and leaned into his love’s touch. Guilt welled up in the Metkayina hunter but despite his sister and friend being not that far off, he still brought Tsu'tey close to him and held him tenderly as if he were afraid of breaking the shorter man entirely.

Eventually he pulled away and ended the hug with a pat on Tsu'tey's back. Zazu cleared his throat, averting his gaze for a moment before glancing at his friend to gauge his reaction. Dilated pupils, ears forward and his tail lowered with a slow sway, clear signs that he enjoyed the hug. It wasn't that hard of a pill to swallow knowing that the warrior enjoyed his presence and embrace for he himself did as well, even if he wished to rip his heart out for ever finding joy in such an act.

“Don't overwork yourself. I wouldn't want to see you pass out,” Zazu said.

“You should rest too. Take time to heal.”

Tsu'tey placed a hand over Zazu’s chest where his heart lay beneath the flesh and bone ready to be ripped apart should the agony become too much. The reef Na'vi gently held his friend's hand and gave it a light squeeze.

“I am already healed,” he assured.

Liar.

“There is nothing to worry about.”

He moved the hand away from his chest.

“Really, you'll worry yourself to death.”

But his avoidance only made Tsu'tey even more worried. If it was anyone who would kill the warrior it would be Zazu and this new barrier he had placed between them.

“I worry because I love you,” Tsu'tey said.

There was that word again. Love. It was like Tsu'tey enjoyed using it against Zazu knowing the taller male had no way of fighting back. Did his friend enjoy his plight? The way he'd be speechless and frozen stiff? Zazu hated that, he hated everything about it. It reminded him too much of how helpless and weak he was when one's love shouldn't waver him like this.

His love for his friends cost another and he should've been smarter if he wished to be strong enough to beat the Sky People. Or maybe if it was that if he had more love, he would've won. However, against the humans with their machinery and weapons, love would never be enough. Forever broken down by their piercing bullets with the recipient reminded of how futile their love for their world was when faced with death.

Returning to Eywa was an inevitability but dying early shouldn't have been a choice. Not by strangers who landed on Pandora nor by their hands stained with the blood of the masses. When faced with death, Zazu would be glad if he was finally and dutifully killed to solidify his final fate in the world but he was also a coward.

He didn't want to die.

Perhaps quick and painless was how he wanted to go out but suffering was mankind’s strongest suit and Zazu’s pitfall. In the end, if he were to be captured once more, it was better if he were distant with everyone, to push them away to the point where he was a mere drop in the ocean that no one would bother to scoop up. To be nothing and to ensure his loved ones were safe from the hands of the Sky People.

Yes.

Zazu loved Tsu'tey. He loved him so much it hurt. The feeling buried itself deep inside him and pierced his heart every time he thought of how Tsu'tey might react to everything. Would his friend show disgust? Pity? Would the warrior’s love be retracted once he found out just how broken Zazu was?

This love he would not utter but keep close to his heart like he did for years on end. It was better this way. Stealing fleeting touches which would one day find their way to Sylwanin for the two were to be mated, even if Tsu'tey said he would have the arrangement be void.

It was better this way.

—

Jake was slowly getting used to the language but not enough to be entirely fluent. If anything, he was probably the best at hunting but still he had yet to make his first kill. According to Neytiri, the forest had yet to give him permission to do so. Her sister had explained it in more detail albeit in a more spiritual sense which he vaguely understood but it was still appreciated nevertheless.

And while his talents lied in being a warrior, he was currently gathering fruits and herbs with Zazu. The taller Na'vi had told him of the roles in the clan, how everyone once they were older would one day find their place no matter how niche. For people like Tsu'tey and Jake, it was easy for them to know their place in the world for even if they were to be good in many things, they would inherently be called to a single purpose.

And that was to hunt, much like Neytiri.

“What's your… role? ” Jake asked in a mixture of languages.

Zazu harvested the fruit in pristine condition and placed it with the rest in the basket he had weaved as he thought over the question. He was a warrior, a hunter. That was the role he found joy in and yet, he found himself finding contentment in gathering, weaving. He loved the delighted shrieks of the children in the clan as he took care of them and shared his stories. He enjoyed sticking with his sister when she'd show him how to use certain herbs in order to better heal a wound.

But people knew him as a warrior. The warrior who survived the monstrous attack from the Sky People. He who fought against all odds and survived. But maybe for now he was fine with being anything else but a warrior.

“ I am hunter but I must learn what I have forgotten. Your people did not trust me with weapons when I was with them, ” he replied.

Zazu wouldn't say anything about the worries which ate at him each time he pulled back the bow string, nor would he tell Jake of the times he'd retreat in solitude to mull over the past. He didn't wish to discourage the dreamwalker and Neytiri would question him if Jake's progress faltered due to his words.

“ Sounds like everyone around me is a hunter or a warrior, ” Jake said.

The Metkayina member chuckled at that, “ All warriors are hunters first. We are only warriors because of war. ”

His words weighed down on the avatar who could clearly see the fatigue in Zazu’s eyes. He hadn't known much of his self-proclaimed protector other than the bare minimum anyone would provide. The rest had to be told from Zazu himself.

Still, those eyes said far more than words could ever describe.

“ I guess I get that..yeah… ” He responded.

Silence fell upon them with only the sounds of nature being their companion. Eventually Zazu spoke up again.

“ How are you? In the clan? ” He asked, “ If anyone is giving issue, like Tsu'tey, I will talk to them. ”

Jake snorted at that and shook his head. Sure the older Na'vi saw him as an imminent threat but they couldn't do anything so long as he had permission from both Olo’eyktan and Tsahìk to remain here. Still the remarks pertaining to his origins remained and while the few people around him made him feel welcomed, he was an outsider looking in.

He was not one of the people yet and he wondered how long it would take. Trust had to be built if he wanted more information but he could dig for it another time. The colonel wouldn't ask him for more updates yet seeing as Jake gave all that he knew so far. Both men knew that patience was key but there was a difference between waiting with purpose and waiting to stall.

“ Everything's fine. But I'm not opposed if you're willing to get Tsu'tey to get off my back, ” Jake said.

Zazu wasn’t quite sure what the other man meant by that but figured it was just a human phrase and thought nothing more of it. Though, it was a strange way of describing something.

“ I will tell him to not bully you. Sylwanin will keep him in check too, ” he replied.

“ Right, Sylwanin… ” The dreamwalker trailed off, “ What's up with you and her? I mean, I get that she's your friend but- ”

“ It's nothing ."

Zazu's harsh tone made Jake squeeze the fruit he held a little too hard and its juices squirted out and stuck to his skin. Annoyance could be heard in his hiss and he waved his hand around to get rid of the juice. The taller male shook his head with a quiet sigh.

“ Worry more about your standing with the clan before anything else. But if you still choose to snoop, I will not be responsible for what comes next, ” he warned.

Jake put his hands up in surrender, his gaze focused on Zazu's next move. Seeing as the Metkayina member wasn't going to harm him, his tense shoulders relaxed and he lowered his head out of respect. He couldn't be stirring up trouble, or at least, not yet.

That could be done much later.

“ Sorry, ” he apologised.

The taller Na'vi had his expression soften with a sigh leaving his parted lips. He shook his head, paying more attention to the basket of fruits in his arms rather than looking at Jake. Whenever he gazed into those eyes, he could see himself in them and that was the scariest part to Zazu. He clasped a hand on top of Jake's shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze and shaking up the newcomer a little.

“ It's okay. You’re curious, ” Zazu said.

He opened his mouth once more to say something but stopped, unsure of what exactly he should be saying. Broken sentences spilled out and he took a deep breath to calm himself.

“ You and I are the same. As long as I am alive, I will help you. ”

A promise he intended to keep.

Jake smiled, “ Thank you. ”

He meant it.

And he was going to use it to his full advantage.

—

The strong scent of herbs and medicinal salve wafted in the hut accompanied by the sound of a pestle grinding against the mortar. Zazu was helping to preserve the salve made for future use within small stone containers which were stacked atop one another. He glanced at Sylwanin who had yet to utter a word since Mo’at brought him here to help but they both knew the Tsah ì k was trying to help in some way.

The male bit his bottom lip, his large hands coming to fiddle with the empty container as he thought of what to say next. Here it felt as though he had become a child once more, envious of the role Sylwanin was given in hopes of one day finding his one true calling as well. Another bowl filled with salve was placed in front of him and he got to work. The distant cheers of children amidst the foreboding that came with humans was a bitter feeling that sunk in both their hearts and perhaps if not for their rivalry of love for one warrior, the two could at least bond over the despair from mankind’s brutality.

“Jake…He seems to trust you and Neytiri the most,” Sylwanin spoke up.

Zazy stopped scooping the salve for a moment, the wooden spoon rested on the edge of the bowl as his hand gripped onto the end tightly.

“Yes. Do you not trust him?” He asked.

“ Or do you simply not trust me? ”

The deafening silence ate at his heart and he wondered what was going on in Sylwanin’s head. Was it the idea that he would steal Jake from Neytiri as he did with Tsu’tey? Though, both situations were neither here nor there, they weren’t even the same. He began scooping the cool gel back into the containers, wanting to finish his work and leave to help with tonight’s dinner.

When he started moving again, Sylwanin stopped and he feared what she might do next. He knew she wouldn’t hit him, no, more so he was afraid of hurting her even more than he did in the past. He hung his head low, wondering how their simple friendship had warped into this. Where he couldn’t even genuinely smile at her without remembering her anguished expression in the forest the day before the incident. How she’d teach him English and the moments spent going over different healing techniques in the Metkayina over the years of them growing up.

They were adults.

Perhaps it was better to describe them as children who were forced to grow up too fast in the whirlwind of potential war.

“...You know that out of everyone, I trust you and Neytiri the most,” she replied.

Zazu heaved a heavy sigh, “Why are we like this?”

“Because neither of us want to lose.”

 The answer was simple and straightforward but only Sylwanin had the guts to say it aloud.

“You should hate me for my greed,” he told her.

He stopped his task for the moment, his eyes gazing upon the tsakarem whose gaze remained fixed on the mortar and pestle.

“And you should hate me for my vileness,” she responded in turn.

He parted his lips, scared of reaching out but he still slowly moved to her side. He pushed her tools away, taking her hands in his and gently kissing her knuckles and bringing them up to his forehead. Hands which were calloused from years of gathering and healing the wounds of the injured. The guilt which resided in them both was something no one else would be able to understand for the incident itself was a secret the two shared like partners in crime.

“...He loves you, you know.”

“I know.”

“And you love him back.”

“I know,” he said.

“I thought that if I stood by and did nothing, that Tsu’tey would return the love you poured to him everyday.”

Sniffles could be heard in the hut and tears freely fell from Zazu’s eyes and to the straw-woven flooring.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you with my actions, with my greed. You are so wonderful, Sylwanin. My sister, my beautiful sister…I’m sorry. Forgive me,” he sobbed.

He kissed the back of her hands again, finally raising his head to kiss her forehead and holding her close to his chest. If both his sisters could be happy, he didn’t mind if he suffered. To Zazu, what mattered the most was that his loved ones were the happiest even if it was at the cost of his suffering. Everything had a price and to have his family be surrounded by love, Zazu had to die.

He mumbled apologies like a mantra spoken in a ritual as he rocked the two of them back and forth. He could feel his chest grow wet from Sylwanin crying and the young adults who were left to pick up the broken pieces of themselves in the rubble found them in each other.

When the two had finally quietened down and laid next to each other in comfortable silence, Mo’at decided now would be the best time to enter the hut and saw the young clan members sprawled on the floor like children. She sighed but Sylwanin could see the wry smile on the woman’s face.

“You two are in no condition to work. Go rest before dinner,” she said.

She practically kicked the two out and barred them from entering and so the only option was to wander around like lost kids with nothing to do. Zazu glanced at Sylwanin with his puffy eyes and he was sure she too had a raging headache from all the crying and tension that had gone on a few minutes prior. He didn’t know if anyone had heard them but if they did, he was going to dig a hole and bury himself.

He had practically spilled his heart out to Sylwanin like he wanted to all those years ago and although the previous awkwardness was gone, it was replaced by a new one formed by the lack of knowledge towards their current situation. Would it be right to pretend nothing had ever happened? Or maybe it was best to start over instead of ignoring it all?

But despite it all, the one thing they knew was that the other was someone who couldn’t be so easily replaced or forgotten.

“Forever and always. The four of us. Nothing will change that,” Sylwanin said.

—

Neytiri had been worried about her older sister for a while now. She never stuck around and was always off Eywa knows where. It seemed that Tsu’tey had the same worries as her and because of that, Jake was now involved. Her friend had argued that the dreamwalker was to not follow them but he was already tagging along. Tsu’tey would make snide remarks now and then but obviously his main focus was on Sylwanin’s strange behaviour.

Not only that but Zazu’s.

He quickened his pace with a snarl as he followed the scent he had memorised over the years. Dampened by the rain and flora, the distinct scent of saltwater couldn’t be erased from Tsu’tey’s nose no matter how hard he tried.

“ Does he even know where he’s going?” Jake asked.

Tsu’tey clicked his tongue and glared at the avatar, “ I know more of this forest than you, demon. ”

Jake put his hands up in surrender, his clearly antagonising comment having him be scolded by Neytiri. The three of them continued onward until Tsu'tey stopped and jabbed a finger right at Jake.

“ You. Stay here ,” he ordered the dreamwalker.

“ What?! Why can't I come along? ”

Neytiri smacked his arm, “ You are not one of the people. You cannot come. ”

“ And when will that be?! ” Jake complained.

Tsu'tey tuned out the argument and crept closer to the sacred site for inside, he could hear an ongoing conversation belonging to someone he knew. Obviously there was the ever talkative Zazu who Tsu’tey easily picked up on but there was a voice neither of them expected.

Amongst the white leaves in the daytime, Zazu and Sylwanin were walking around together and trading stories neither of them were able to share during their time of avoiding one another. None of them had known the two had made up and for Jake, well, it didn’t concern him since they had him wait outside the area.

Just when were they so close to one another? It was just a few days ago where neither of them could even look each other in the eye and now they were friends all over again. If it was like that, then came the question of why they never told the rest. For a moment, there was hope of all four of them hanging out together again without needing to worry about trivial love woes and war. Where they could be young before emotions made everything ten times more complicated.

“Did you know about this?”

Tsu’tey shook his head in response.

“If I had known I would have told you first.”

They quietened down when the conversation between Zazu and Sylwanin changed to focusing on the clan. Of course, names like Mo’at, Maru and so on were brought up but the trio only perked up when Neytiri and Tsu’tey’s names were spoken.

“How will we tell them?” The tsakarem spoke.

Zazu hummed with a tilt of his head.

“How about just saying we made up and are back to being friends? We can have one whole party just for the four of us!” He suggested.

“You know they’ll ask questions,” she pointed out.

“Then I’ll make sure they don’t.” He proceeded to punch the flat of his palm, insinuating his next action.

“You can't just punch our friends!”

“I wasn't going to punch them! Or well, maybe intimidate them?” He laughed a bit.

Sylwanin shook her head, “We’ll think about it when we get there. That aside, will you tell them? Tell them like how you told me.”

Tsu'tey waited with bated breath to know what it was they were talking about. A secret only Sylwanin knew despite the previous estrangement between them. If she could know the buried pain which Zazu buried, why couldn't Tsu'tey? Was there something about him that scared his beloved? Was it his temperament? His scowling expression?

He remained silent and stood up with barely a sound. He wanted to see Zazu’s face when he said the answer but he feared it would only scare him.

“...No. They would only pity me even more.”

Zazu hung his head low and his ears turned downwards to the ground with his shoulders slumped forward. His fingers played together and he turned to look out to the forest, only to pale in disbelief upon catching a glimpse of Tsu'tey.

It felt like hours between the two of them but it was only a split second until Tsu'tey ducked back into the greenery. The warrior’s breaths quickened and he peeked past the large leaves to see Zazu shaking his head at whatever Sylwanin had said. A comforting hand belonging to Neytiri was placed on his shoulder and he smiled in return to mimic her own.

He perked up when Zazu began to walk deeper into the sacred site alone and hesitantly stood up just a little where he was still crouching down, unsure if it was the right decision. One step in front of the other like a newborn yerik, Neytiri had to lightly shove him forward with an unamused look.

“Go. I will take it from here,” she said.

Giving her a grateful nod, Tsu'tey rushed to follow Zazu. Whatever was happening between his friends was clearly a turning point for something and if he could just find out what it was all for, his heart could finally be at peace. His footsteps were by no means quiet and right as the taller Na'vi turned around to see if it was Sylwanin, he was immediately pounced on by Tsu'tey.

“Ghk-”

His back slammed into the ground and under the trees’ gaze, Tsu'tey’s shadow loomed over him. His pupils widened at the man's beauty but he was quick to advertise his gaze out of embarrassment.

“Tsu'tey,” he greeted.

“Zazu,” the other Na'vi said in turn, “Just what are you hiding?”

Zazu held onto the hand which gripped onto his shoulder, gently squeezing it before letting go.

“...It's nothing. Well, I talked with Sylwanin. We are on speaking terms again. Not that we weren't beforehand-”

“We know.” Tsu'tey’s hand brushed over his love’s cheek. “We knew a few weeks after the incident.”

The reef Na'vi sat up, “Then-”

He was promptly pushed back down with his long time crush and now future lover snarling at him. A hiss was given in warning and he took his fate well by lying beneath the warrior like a statue. His face was caressed and rubbed over with Tsu'tey’s scent just as his own clung onto the other's skin.

“I will have to make you a new bow. New beads for your hair. A new cummerbund…” Tsu'tey whispered.

“You don't need to go that far for me,” Zazu chuckled.

“But I want to.”

Emotions that the future Olo'eyktan was unable to describe burned in his chest but he knew he had broken a promise he made in the past. The harm he promised to protect Zazu from was already inflicted with the scars of the demons’ talons etched into the beautiful skin reminiscent of the ocean. His first love who went through the horrors of humanity and returned with nothing but bad memories. His beloved Zazu whom he wished to hear words of affection from yet never demanded so when believing it to be selfish.

He allowed his chosen mate to sit up, the height difference finally being noticed when he had to look up a little in order to meet Zazu’s gaze. His hands were held tightly like a final lifeline but never enough for it to be painful.

“Why…” Zazu began, “Why do you continue to love a fool like me?”

Tears fell from his eyes and the few which were wiped away were soon replaced by a flood of them. His hands flew up to his face and began to scratch at his eyelids as if trying to gouge his eyeballs out to stop the crying. Tsu'tey had to wretch his hands away before any damage could be done but Zazu's urge to hit himself to get his mind working straight or to pluck his brain out and shake it silly outweighed Tsu'tey’s presence.

His breaths were sharp with barely any interval between. Flashes of the past blurred with his nightmares and fears to which he cried even harder from. He wanted to puke at this point, the world was spinning and death sounded nice.

“Zazu? Zazu. Follow my voice,” Tsu'tey said.

“You must breathe. Breathe deep.”

His voice was getting farther away from Zazu, swimming in the ocean where barely anything but water could be heard. Ah, he wanted to return to the reef. There, there were many creatures who could easily kill him like the Akula. Or he could drown, maybe end up washed ashore dead and full of water.

“Tell me three things you can see,” the distant voice told him.

To see. His glazed over eyes washed over multiple times with the membrane clearing the fog for a little bit. In front of him were Tsu'tey’s hands who held his, then there was the warrior’s songcord. His gaze travelled up the toned torso and met with those supple lips followed by the pair of yellow eyes which captivated him to no end. The beads in Tsu'tey’s hair to the missing part of his ear, everything he saw was Tsu'tey.

Everything he heard was Tsu'tey just as the smell of his surroundings were dulled and could only smell the Na'vi seated in his lap. Unbeknownst to him, Tsu'tey could already see Zazu calming down and supposed he should feel flattered for being the source of his love’s calmness.

“I…am not the same,” Zazu whispered.

Tsu'tey smiled, “Neither am I.”

“I'm not perfect.”

“I am the same.”

“You will have a mate with only one good eye.”

“You are not just any mate. You are Ma Zazu.”

With every self-deprecating comment came another to counter it and they went on like this for a couple more minutes until Zazu got tired. He laid down on the ground to finally catch his breath. His chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm from breathing deeply and he hid his face behind his hands for a moment to calm himself further.

“I-” The words were caught in his throat and he didn't wish to see the expression Tsu'tey would make if he said anything.

Still, he had to say something. Anything to at least move forth this limbo they were in.

“I cannot be your mate. Not now,” he said.

“Then when?”

There was no way of knowing when Zazu would be ready. It could be soon or years into the future but the latter was much too cruel for the both of them.

“Soon or a little later than that,” he answered, uncovering his face and letting his gaze drift over Tsu'tey's lips.

The two had only shared one kiss in their lifetime. If Zazu had the courage, this would be their second one. Then what of their third, fourth and fifth? Every other kiss afterwards would be too many to count by then, yet he was sure they would still tingle with all the love the two held back for years on end.

He slowly sat up, his hands holding Tsu'tey by the waist as he leaned in close enough to be a breath away from the other Na'vi. Tsu'tey could see the way Zazu grappled with his thoughts and inner conflicts, the ever flickering gaze towards his lips just as he himself did the same.

“...Can I kiss you?” Zazu whispered.

Tsu'tey smirked, “Yes.”

In an instant, his lips were captured in a love that felt so hesitant and sweet at the same time. Wholly innocent and desperate like it wasn't supposed to happen but both of them were already drowning in their unspoken love for one another, the kiss being a breath of fresh air in the deep waters. Their lips parted from one another until Zazu started kissing him again, and again, and again.

From his lips to his cheeks to his neck, every mark, bump and crevice of Tsu'tey's body was being burned into Zazu's memory. Words of love were not uttered but Tsu'tey’s name was being repeated like a broken record from someone who was utterly smitten. The warrior shuddered from his beloved’s breaths each time his name was whispered.

“Ma Tsu'tey…Ma Tsu'tey,” Zazu chanted.

“Don't leave me.”

Arms wrapped around one another quietened the mumblings and Tsu'tey kissed the side of Zazu's head to soothe his worries.

“I won't leave you. Never.”

Another promise he made. A promise he was scared to break.

Chapter Text

How does one show their love? Was it to be yelled out for all to hear? Or maybe to be whispered in the night, far from the moon’s gaze? Tsu'tey was a quiet lover. Zazu had known that for a long while now and he wondered how he should be if he wanted to show himself to be of equal standing or at least someone who didn't burden their beloved with their love.

Flaunting his affections in public would only earn the slight of others who deemed him an intruder. Just as the older Na'vi in front of him sneered at the very sight of him. He vaguely remembered her, knowing the woman to be Tsu'tey’s mother but nothing more. Supposedly, with her favourite son spending most of his time with someone like Zazu, it left a bitter taste on her tongue. After all, to ensure the unity of the Omatikaya, Tsu'tey was better off mating with Sylwanin than chasing tail with someone from the reef. Though his Na'vi heritage had him one step above Jake when it came to her harsh words. A step above but not coming close to being on the same level as the people. For how could someone in the Omatikaya also choose to be a child in the Metkayina?

There was only one choice and she knew Zazu had made it poorly. She huffed and ignored him in favour of retreating to the healer's hut. A few of their veteran warriors were coming back with wounds when nearing a little too close to the sky people and it only elevated tensions. With Jake in the clan, there was a chance he could change the tides and have everyone get along, yet, there was a sinking feeling which stuck in Zazu’s heart like rock.

He knew how desperate mankind could be and feared the consequences. Their metal instruments of destruction no matter how small. Digging into flesh and bone, a torturous fate for those on the receiving end of questioning by unsavoury folk. The phantom tang of iron seemed to hit Zazu’s tongue and he struggled to swallow his saliva in fear of it tasting too much like the crimson which spilled from his lips.

Truthfully, he didn't know what came over him when he confessed his feelings to Tsu’tey. Each time he talked to the warrior, he always cried and made himself out as a fool. No one liked fools, only those who preyed on the weak did. But Tsu'tey was no predator nor was Zazu prey. Perhaps it felt like it but the only predators were the Sky People.

Leaving aside the sorrow thinking of humans brought to him, Zazu ascended the tree to where ikrans would normally perch on the large branches spanning from the main trunk. There, he found who he was looking for. A Na'vi whose expression never faltered and remained stone cold. They helped to tend to the ikran and made sure the space was well cared for but never riding one. These ikran were never theirs to ride for the creatures already had a rider bonded to them.

They came here for the respite and in turn, the ikran didn't bite their hands nor their head off. Zazu found himself envious but knew he wouldn't be able to care for any ikran like they would, even if these companions weren't theirs.

“Atani,” he greeted with a gesture of seeing them.

“Zazu.” They nodded.

He watched them gently pat the green ikran on the beak and wished he could do the same. At most he would be fine with Tsu’tey’s but only her. Everyone else would be too much for him, especially if they looked like Txon'ong. Stepping closer to his newfound friend, he sent them a smile and sat by the branch’s edge while they wrapped up whatever they were doing.

“Zani has been restless because she hasn't seen you for a while,” they said.

Zazu snorted, “Has she now? She just wants the treats I used to give her then.”

“Perhaps. I think her bond with Tsu'tey plays a part in her love for you.”

He played with his fingers, noting the lesser number of ikran and figured Neytiri took hers out on a flight as well. He was envious and wished he could take to the skies like he always did but his feet were planted to the ground with the wind rejecting him.

“Doesn't it get hard seeing all these ikran everyday? Especially those who look like her,” he asked.

“But they're not her. They may look like her but they aren't the same. Just like how I might look similar to another Na'vi but we act differently, yes?” They replied.

Zazu nodded, “I guess. But it doesn't make it any less harder.”

Tense silence settled between them until Atani placed a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it to release any worries he might be feeling. They heard him sigh and they comforted him with light pats before saying anything that might turn him away. They understood it was difficult. They were the same but it didn't make things any better to ignore it all.

Ignorance was Zazu’s best friend but everyone knew it was his greatest enemy.

“You need to have your last flight with him. He's waiting for you,” they advised.

“I'm not ready yet.”

“Will you ever be?”

A question posed as a nudge for him to act. Grief took its toll upon people and in its later stages, Zazu was stuck and left wallowing in Txon'ong’s death. Unlike the Metkayina member, Atani had been stuck in anger for a long while and in a way, both of them were like two sides of the same coin. If it was tearful agony which settled itself in Zazu’s heart then it was fiery pain which burned in theirs.

The sound of flapping wings caught their attention and an ikran with blue skin and black markings landed on the perch with the clan's greatest warrior hopping off his mount. They nodded at the Na'vi, standing up and gesturing to Zazu’s despondent self. Tsu'tey nodded, silently thanking them for their help and taking their place beside the curly-haired man.

Zazu could feel his hand being held, rough calluses from years of holding weapons rubbed against his now softer skin with Tsu'tey’s hand paling in comparison to his. The way Tsu'tey intertwined their hands and them only being able to see his fingers between the gaps.

A snort left Zazu’s lips and the mighty warrior could sense himself melting at the sound. His tail flicked in glee and his teeth peeked out from his smile. At least with small moments like these, he could pretend that everything was fine even if the marks of discordance made itself known on his beloved’s skin.

“Atani says I need to have my last flight,” Zazu finally said.

Tsu’tey nodded, “He's waiting.”

The silence this time weighed like a burden and Zazu sighed, leaning his weight on his friend and resting his head on Tsu'tey’s shoulder.

“I'm scared I'll forget him.”

“He lies with Eywa now. Eywa doesn't forget,” the forest Na'vi assured.

“I shouldn't rely on Eywa to preserve his memory,” Zazu retorted.

“And yet it is Eywa who gave me memories of you.”

His hair was brushed out of his face and Tsu'tey gently guided his face to look at it. Those large eyes he never seemed to get bored of looking at to the lips he wished to spend the next countless nights kissing and memorising. There was the ever present scar he already burned in his mind like a wildfire and with one hand drifting up to brush under Zazu’s ear.

Every little detail from any divots in the skin to any obvious markings, Tsu'tey did his best to memorise it in fear of forgetting. His expression clearly conveyed his pity and Zazu held his hand, gently bringing it back down while his gaze was lowered.

“Don't. I am not fragile,” he said.

“I know. But I still wish to take away this burden you bear,” Tsu'tey replied.

His thumb gently rubbed circles into the back of Zazu’s hand.

“Think about it. For Txon'ong.”

—

No ikran could replace Txon'ong. To Zazu, the dark blue banshee would forever be the only one who he bonded to. Having found each other in dark times, they both knew the other best, especially when all they could do was survive. But only one of them still breathed and the Metkayina believed it should've been him rather than Txon'ong.

Grief and agony struck Zazu's heart and bled it out with all their might. Everyone around him was saying how it wasn't to replace his first ikran, rather another companion to have but seeing the banshees around Hometree and the ever stray flyer in the skies made him think otherwise. Maybe he was jealous. No- Envious. He wanted to blame someone, anyone, but it wasn't right.

They were all drowning in this hell built from burning corpses and the trauma inflicted upon the people over the bloodshed of what could be them soon. The sounds of bullets and missiles never quite suited Pandora much like the zipping of arrows and thundering hooves did. Sounds which felt artificial as if they didn't belong and it was true, they didn't.

What should've killed creatures of the land were bite marks, slashes, a piercing wound from a spear or arrow. Instead the image of an ikran sullied by bullets drilled into the flesh played in Zazu's mind like a broken record. 

Gunshots. Yelling. Explosion.

Gunshots.

Yelling.

Explosion.

Gunshots.

Yelling.

Explosion.

Gunshots.

Yelling.

Explo-

Zazu's head tilted up and was met with the glowing tendrils belonging to the Tree of Voices. The grass tickled beneath his feet as he nervously curled his toes together, one hand tentatively holding onto a tendril. His expression turned sombre and he didn't know what to do next. This was uncharted territory, not to mention how it felt as though he was saying goodbye for good.

He sighed, getting down on his knees and making himself comfortable before he hesitantly shifted his queue over. He watched as the small pink tendrils wriggled and tried to reach out to connect with Eywa. Ever so close yet never enough until Zazu made the final decision and let himself be one with the voices.

There was a flash of light followed by an extreme change of scenery. No longer was he in the dark night but was laying down by the Tree of Souls, his back meeting the cold stone ground. He shivered, looking over at the opening from above when a shadow casted over him in the shape of a familiar friend.

“Txon'ong,” he mumbled, scrambling to get up.

The ikran looked to be slightly younger, more scrawnier and was quick to fly away when he saw that Zazu had woken up. The Metkayina hurried after his friend, legs running in directions he knew by heart while the banshee flew overhead. Glimpses of dark blue skin could be seen past the trees until the forest ended and Zazu was left skidding to a stop by the riverbank.

Looking around, he spotted Txon'ong landing not far off and stared at his first friend in the forest. The ikran was older just like the Na'vi remembered, scars from their time hunting together to the excited little shake Txon'ong would do once he saw Zazu. Like an eager dog, the large creature pounced on his rider and bumped his beak against the Na'vi’s face.

“Oof- You're heavy. Really heavy,” Zazu heaved, gently pushing Txon'ong away.

But as soon as he did so, he held the ikran’s beak once more and gently ran a hand over the top as a way of petting. The practised movements paired with the feeling of skin beneath his fingertips left Zazu dazed. If he could just close his eyes, he could just pretend none of the bad stuff had ever happened and that he still had Txon'ong with him. Alive and well.

He knew it didn't work that way and all of a sudden it felt like he was helplessly nine again. He sputtered when the heavy weight shifted and he was left chasing his friend once more. The sound of water splashing coupled with the crunching of grass under Zazu’s feet seemingly echoed in this place until the trees ended and he continued to run out to the cliffs where Txon'ong was waiting for him.

Moonlight casted itself over them and Zazu raised his hand to try and reach out to the ikran. One small step to the next, tears gathered in his eyes when he neared his friend. His lips parted to speak but nothing came and he could only close his mouth before he was left gaping any longer. His gaze flicked to Txon'ong’s back and where he'd normally sit, the large creature inviting his rider to sit.

One leg slid over with the ever familiar motions that came with years of flying. He was ready for the ikran to take off but Txon'ong mainly chirped and showed off his kuru. Zazu gulped. They had never bonded this way, they never needed to. They knew what the other needed in all ways but never through the bond and yet…

Gently he held the kuru and hesitantly connected it with his own. The Na'vi expected an onslaught of emotions from the time they had been apart but instead, it was quiet. There was something there but Zazu couldn't quite name it. However, he felt tears trickle down his cheeks from the unknown feeling. With wet eyes and trembling hands, the young adult still got onto Txon'ong, the two taking flight into the starry night.

Wind whipped Zazu’s hair like waves as the two swerved and ducked in the air. When they returned to a steady pace, Zazu finally opened his mouth to speak, tongue sticking out to lick at his dry lips.

“I miss you,” he stated, “I don't know how else to say it.”

“I shouldn't have brought you there. I'm stupid, aren't I?” The Na'vi bitterly chuckled but his laughter reduced into silence once more.

“Everyone in the Metkayina will miss you. Everyone who knows you misses you and I-” The small stream of tears turned into waterfalls in the ever quiet memory.

“...I miss you the most. I don't know how to live without you, Txon'ong. I'm scared.”

Zazu let out a deep breath he didn't know he was holding in when the words finally came out. His throat still felt constricted like he might puke at any moment but for now, he was fine. As fine as someone mourning could be. Eventually night turned into the cracks of daylight with the two landing on one of the floating mountains in the rookery.

Sliding off Txon'ong's back, Zazu knelt down, sitting cross-legged and letting his friend lay on his lap. The Na'vi's gaze barely moved from the rising sun as the tears dried up until only flecks remained. Yet, the ever hungry sadness within was trying to claw its way out with futile efforts when that grief had nowhere else to run. A horrible ache which visited from time to time, never quite staying but never leaving all the same.

“There was a time I thought of forgetting you, if only it would stop this heartache,” he confessed, “But everything around me…From the sky we used to fly together to the ground where we would walk through whenever we had time. Everything reminded me of you.”

“Your favourite food, the ikran you've befriended, the children who speak of you…They all remind me of your existence. I don't know what to do to feel better. You always knew how to make feel better and now-”

Another round of choked sobs escaped from Zazu and through gritted teeth, he pressed the palm of his hand into the corner of his eye. His head raged at the pain which came with holding in all this grief and he wanted nothing more than to tear it all apart if it meant he'd feel better. He felt Txon'ong bump against his knee but the sensation only made Zazu feel worse.

“I'm sorry- I can't-” He stood up, stumbling back with tear-stricken eyes. “I'm sorry…I'm sorry.”

The land around them changed and Zazu was jerked away from the memory. He fell onto his back with his cheeks stained with tears, surrounded by the countless trees that felt even more suffocating after his encounter with Txon'ong. His hands gripped the grass beneath him, flipping onto his stomach as he tearfully crawled away with thoughts of forgetting everything he had witnessed.

Alone once more like he had been so long ago, Zazu cried with only the whispers of Eywa soothing his shattered heart.

—

Iknimaya. A test for the hunters Neytiri and Tsu'tey had trained with it being the final step in being acknowledged as true hunters. The group had ridden their pa’li up to the mountains until they were no longer able to and dismounted where the large beanstalks grow upwards into the clouds, leading to the home of the ikran.

Zazu easily slid off his pa’li, gently patting the creature's neck and whispering words of praise before moving to where Jake and Neytiri were. She was checking the marine’s gear one last time. Satisfied, she turned to look at her brother, making sure he too, was sufficiently ready.

“ Excited? ” Zazu asked the dreamwalker.

“ I guess you could say that. It's not everyday you get to prove your worth as a hunter ,” Jake replied.

Patting the man's shoulder, the older Na’vi gave it a quick squeeze.

“ Neytiri and I believe in you, so make sure this isn't your last. ”

“ Wait my last? Hold on- Isn't that just a bit too ominous? ” Jake panicked.

Zazu snickered, walking over to where the rest of the group was and exchanging pleasantries with Tsu'tey. His students greeted the curly-haired Na'vi with much respect which was returned in full, his smile warm but never quite reaching his eyes.

“It's quite the climb.” He let out a low whistle, looking at the beanstalks that he'd have to climb.

“Zani will catch you if you fall,” Tsu'tey assured.

Amongst the group, no doubt was everyone doubting Zazu’s skills. He wasn't made for climbing, not to mention the two years he had spent with humans probably made those not as close to him wonder just how he would keep up. Then there was of course, the dreamwalker but at least Jake had the anatomy of forest dwellers.

“ What are we waiting for? ” Jake walked up with a grin.

Neytiri held Zazu back, the two watching as the group ascended the beanstalk until they became small specks in their vision.

“Come, I will fly us up there,” she said.

“No climbing?” Zazu asked, following after her. “I thought you'd be up for some morning exercise.”

“And get cramped together with Tsu'tey’s students? No thank you.”

She slid one leg over her ikran’s back, seating herself properly and extending a hand to Zazu. He hadn't exactly ridden an ikran with another person before, or at least as a passenger. He gulped, praying to Eywa that he'd survive the journey as he took Neytiri’s hand in his and let her help him up. Seated behind her, he clung onto the young woman with his arms around her waist, already imagining the smirk on her face.

“You might want to hang on.” She grinned at him.

Right after, the ikran took flight and Zazu could feel his heart pounding out of his chest at the sudden take off. He heard the way his friend was laughing and lightly pinched her stomach in response.

“You're mean.” He gritted his teeth.

“So are you,” she snickered.

Her ikran perched on the edge of the grotto with Zazu getting off immediately to join everyone else at the cave entrance. He hissed at the young hunters who stifled their laughter at his expense before heaving a sigh. For someone who used to ride an ikran just as bravely as Neytiri did, it was probably a surprise to see him so scared. But it wasn't Txon'ong he was flying on and an entirely different ikran he rarely interacted with.

Plus, sometimes he couldn't trust Neytiri to not prank him if she decided she wanted to tease him. Just the thought of her flying in a loop to have him fall and catch him again made his stomach queasy. Maybe he was growing old, that could be it.

The group walked through the cave, sunlight shining through the other entrance to reveal a cliff face where dozens of ikran clung to the walls with their claws. Some were perched on ledges while others flew above to get a good view of the outsiders. Zazu took in everything that he could, from the greenery to the colourful ikran all around them to even the way their shrieks seemed to harmonise with the wind.

His heart lurched in his throat when he caught sight of one with a similar colour to Txon'ong but calmed himself when he drilled it into his head that it could never be the same. A hand came up to brush his hair out of his face, the ever loving expression on Tsu'tey's face greeting him like the cloud parting for the sun. Zazu pursed his lips, waving the Na'vi away to focus on the others but still he grabbed the other's hand to lightly kiss his knuckles.

“Let's start already!” Neytiri interrupted.

“ Jakesully will go first! ” Tsu'tey announced in return.

His eyes glinted in challenge when making eye contact with Jake, his smirk wide which soon turned into a scowl when Neytiri led the avatar off to the side. The taller Na'vi patted his arm and soon his face smoothened to a neutral expression when he held Zazu's hand.

Jake, with confidence given by Neytiri, began to approach the centre, ikran flying away from him until one in turquoise with a purple gradient came forth. The large ikran spread its enormous wings, screeching at Jake with a hardened glare.

“ Let's dance .” He grinned.

The group watched with bated breath as Jake dodged and feinted the barrage of attacks from the ikran. Jaws wide open to snap at his neck, its beak was slammed shut by the bolo wrapping around while its talons scratched at Jake who was getting on top of it. Zazu nervously gripped Tsu'tey's hand, squeezing it each time the avatar was met with near failure.

He inhaled sharply when Jake was nearly sent careening off the edge. Anxiety grasped at his heart but he knew Neytiri wouldn't let him die. And if not her, then himself. He swore to keep the man under his protection after all. But under the eyes of the people, who else would join him in being an outsider if not Jake? To feel the burning gaze of hundreds once more did not sit right. At least alone.

Thankfully, after a rough tussle with the ikran, Jake was able to bond with it, their kuru connecting them as one.

Zazu heaved a sigh of relief, his focus shifting to the two hunters who have yet to be chosen by their ikran. Neytiri could deal with Jake, she was his teacher after all.

One after the other, Tsu'tey instructed his students to go forth. They both had their own struggles and Zazu watched on with a nervous feeling in his stomach when the hunter with a thick braid was doing her best in wrangling her chosen ikran.

She was the last one and the older duo could rest easy. But there was an inexplicable dread that formed inside the reef Na'vi. Looking to Tsu'tey, the future olo'eyktan was paying more attention to his student to make sure she didn't mess up or ended up extremely injured. And so to the two men who had their guards low, the moment the young hunter had managed to bond with her ikran was when a loud screech grabbed everyone's attention.

Tsu'tey hurried his student off to start her first flight while Zazu turned around to find the source of sound. His heart leapt in his throat when he locked eyes with a green ikran. Smaller than Txon'ong. Probably a juvenile.

Zazu slowly backed away, throat dry from the fate he was met with and in a hasty decision to escape it all, he ran.

The ikran pounced first, narrowly grabbing Zazu by an inch had he not thrown himself forward. He scrambled to get further away from the chasing creature which also led him further from Tsu'tey.

“What do I do?!” Zazu panicked.

He yelped when rows of sharp teeth were a little too close for comfort. When he turned, he had to stop upon feeling teeth gently digging into his tail and pulling him closer. The ikran chirped and looked at Zazu inquisitively and he would’ve found it fine if not for the fact that it was chasing him around like prey. Tsu'tey was quick to act, a spare bolo in hand as he tossed it at the ikran's beak, lifting Zazu into his arms and calling for Zani.

The purple ikran descended near the edge, feeling Tsu'tey hurriedly clamber on with Zazu seated at the front. The taller of the two looked back to see the young ikran already tearing off the bolo, golden eyes sparkling in excitement as it bounded towards them at a rapid speed.

“Tsu'tey- Tsu'tey fly!” Zazu yelled.

His hands gripped onto the saddle at the sudden descent with one of Tsu'tey’s arms wrapped around his midsection to calm him down. However, despite flying away from the rookery, they could hear excited shrieks coming close from behind.

“This is the first time I've seen an ikran like this,” Tsu'tey said.

Zazu sighed, shoulders slumping forward, “It's definitely my first time too.”

Zani swerved to the side when the juvenile came speeding by only to make a sharp turn to meet the trio head on. Expertly manoeuvring out of harm's way, the green ikran stuck close, its beak inching closer with its teeth ready to nip at its chosen rider.

“Let's regroup with your students. If we fly back to Hometree then maybe it'll stop following us since it's far from here,” Zazu suggested.

Taking the suggestion into account, Tsu'tey took a route difficult for a young ikran to navigate through, searching for his students who had joined Neytiri and Jake up in the sky. Soaring higher to reach them, the group were surprised to finally see them after the incident that was told. Neytiri hung back to fly beside her friends, worry evident on her face despite the mist shrouding her.

“What about the ikran?” She asked.

“It flew back home. We are too far for it to follow,” Tsu'tey replied.

“If you say so…”

Neytiri returned to lead everyone home and for a moment, all seemed well but there was a horrible feeling that stuck to Zazu and he didn't know what to make of it.

—

Many were congratulating the fully fledged hunters, some talking about a feast but celebrations would be on hold until the Hunt Festival. As of now, Zazu was back to helping around the clan with his hands weaving a basket for gathering fruit. His mind elsewhere and yet his work barely suffered for it. Although, those around him could tell something was on his mind. The older Na'vi already knew about his habit of overthinking but let him stay to reorganise his thoughts.

After basket weaving was helping with meal prep and if he had nothing else to do it was making sure the children didn't run off to somewhere dangerous. His feet dragged along the dirt on the way to dinner, eyes glazed until Sylwanin popped up in his line of sight. He flinched, letting out a deep exhale after realising he wasn't in any danger whatsoever.

“You're thinking too much again,” she said.

“When do I not?” He retorted.

“It's called letting us into your mind. We can't help you if you don't say anything.”

Zazu knew she was right. She always was.

“When I can think clearly, I will be the first to tell you of my woes,” he said.

Thing was, he didn't know how long it would take. If he could even fathom the idea of stepping past his comfort zone to confront what has been laid before him. If he closed his eyes and let his mind drift, Txon'ong's dead body would greet him and now with today's incident, a young ikran towered over the corpse as if it were going to devour his friend whole.

Txon'ong was with Eywa now and Zazu could go see him anytime. However, the memory of him was ever so fleeting in the Na'vi’s mind like it were drowning in the sea, never to be seen again. Was it envy which made a home in his heart or was it longing? Seeing those with their ikran off to hunt or just to practise their flying with the new bond created. He too, was able to take flight into the beautiful sky and now, he was utterly trapped on the ground.

Perhaps if he was with the Metkayina, he could feel the water spreading over him like the wind as he rode a tsurak. It was wishful thinking really. Yet, he didn't argue when Tsu'tey dragged him along one day to the waterway they used to swim in since young. While Zazu would always dive as deep as he could to see everything, the other would stay closer to the surface and never go deeper than necessary.

It was poetic in a way. Zazu would rack his brains to try and form it into words but fell short when his mind was clouded with endless worries. He slowly came to when his feet finally touched the cool waters, toes wiggling to feel the currents lap over every inch of his skin. Tsu'tey already had the water reach till his abdomen, sticking close to the shore to keep himself stable.

“Why are we here?” Zazu asked.

Squeezing his hands gently, Tsu'tey sent him a fond look.

“Because you are always at ease with the water,” he answered, “...You have been frowning more lately.”

The seaborne Na'vi rolled his eyes with a small quirk of his lips.

“Maybe I picked it up from you,” he snickered.

Tsu'tey swatted his arm with a huff.

“I’m joking Tsu'tey.”

Moving closer to the other man, Zazu's hands rested on Tsu'tey's hips, his thumb gently rubbing over skin with the thrum of life surrounding them in the approaching evening. Feeling just a little bolder, Zazu leaned in and placed a delicate kiss on Tsu’tey’s cheek. Eyes half-lidded with lips pursed, there was much unspoken but neither of them said anything about it lest reality came crashing down.

“Thank you. It means a lot to me,” Zazu whispered.

“There is a but,” Tsu'tey noted.

The taller Na'vi softly smiled at how easily his thoughts were picked up on.

“But we should start heading back. The clan will ask where their favourite warrior has wandered off to.”

The warrior scoffed, “I am not their favourite.”

“But you are their future Olo’eyktan.”

That fact could not be refuted. The people looked up to Tsu’tey as a leader, especially the children and the young hunters he taught. Those who had grown up with him to see him take up the mantle as if destined by fate. A position unified with the clan’s tsakarem and yet for the first time in the Omatikaya, the two would not join hands and instead have Tsu’tey bury his soul together with another. Many elders would say it was not right of him to be so selfish. Eywa would not approve of his decision but seeing as the Tsahik and Olo’eyktan have said nothing else, their opinions only served as jabbing insults with no real bite.

“Only until they decide to train Neytiri for the role,” Tsu’tey said.

Zazu’s ears perked up at that, back straightening at the interesting news. He had entertained the idea in the past where both sisters took up leadership in the clan but he didn’t think it’d actually come true. Neytiri, while hard-headed, did care for the clan as much as Sylwanin and Tsu’tey did. However, being Olo’eyktan was an entirely different way of life compared to how she lived beforehand and Zazu didn’t know if she was ready for it. She was an adult by now but it didn’t stop him from thinking the worst because just like Tsu’tey, it would be that the role was pushed onto her without any choice. He didn’t want that for her.

He also didn’t want that for Tsu’tey. The same Tsu’tey who had been taught the ways of the Olo’eyktan, who had no choice but to let himself be moulded into the leader the clan needed. And sacrifices were needed for the future. The two of them knew that. It was simply the matter of morals and if it was right to do so.

“Does she know?” Zazu asked.

Tsu’tey was silent for a moment, pulling his lips into a thin line.

“Not yet. Soon, when the right time comes.”

Most likely when the tensions between humans and Na’vi came to an end. If they were to even end. Between Jake arriving at the clan to the battle plans Zazu remembered seeing in the past, it all left a bitter taste on the tip of his tongue which he couldn’t describe in full. All he knew to do was to hold his breath until the worst of it passed and until he was told he could let go.

“It will come as a shock,” he replied.

“She will have us to help her. She will not be alone,” the other Na'vi assured.

It wouldn't be right to leave Neytiri fending for herself, that Zazu knew. He couldn't— wouldn't leave her to tackle such responsibilities alone if he had a say in it. But was his opinion even viable? Would he be heard, only for his words to then be washed over by others in the clan.

He didn't trust his own voice to guide him through, merely nodding in response. And maybe, that was all he needed to do.

—

Jake, who had been spending most of his time with Neytiri was now once again under Zazu’s guidance. The reef Na'vi was handpicking beads, showing the dreamwalker how to create works of art with just jewellery alone.

From bracelets to necklaces, armbands to feathered headdresses, it was a show of courtship to unmated adults and love to those who were family. It actually wasn't Zazu who suggested teaching this to Jake but rather, the man himself who asked to learn. What for? The older Na'vi had a sneaking suspicion but he didn't want to jump to conclusions just yet.

His hands worked on an armband for Tsu'tey, stringing the leather and beads together in a star-like pattern with colours of blue and yellow. Though, every now and then, he had to put down his work to help unknot whatever it was that Jake had messed up by accident. He wasn't doing a complicated design by any means but twining everything together seemed to have left his hands fumbling.

“ Who is this for? ” Zazu asked.

“ Would you believe me if I said it was for myself? ” Jake smirked.

Zazu gave him a deadpan expression and was given a sheepish grin in turn.

“ You do not look like the type to make such fancy pieces for yourself. ”

Jake chuckled with a shake of his head, “ You're right .”

He had more words on the tip of his tongue but held back for a moment to form them correctly. Or at least in a way that didn't result in Zazu strangling him. Then again, there were worse people to confide in. At least between the two of them, it was like they were on the same boat yet they strayed into two different paths with their destination unknown. Trapped with so much love within their soul but maybe in the end it was wrong.

The people in the clan would think that. Jake knew they would cast him out in an instant if he were to ever utter a word of affection to the woman who held his heart. And so he would settle for long glances and fleeting touches. In a way, he was jealous of Zazu. Able to receive the affection of his dearly beloved but never stepping past the boundary Jake wished he could. Thunderous conflict in those mismatched eyes like the ones the dreamwalker had seen in his own time and time again in his water reflection.

“ We’re outsiders, you and I. Even if she accepts and loves you back, it cannot change who we are ,” Zazu finally said.

His delicately crafted accessory was set aside, glanced at like it was a sore reminder of whatever was brewing in him.

“ They will eventually choose another for the good of the clan. And as you can tell, we are not seen as good. We never will be. ”

Deep down, he truly prayed this anguish would leave him and plague another. He had wrapped himself up in a mess he couldn’t untangle himself from, the bindings growing tighter with each mistake he seemed to make from his greed while feeling like everyone else around him already had a control of how they felt in this chaos. How they would laugh and jeer at his pathetic state because in the end, he’d be the fool for feeling this way when he should have returned to the reef and stayed there until he returned to Eywa. This love he felt was so raw and yet he wished to hide it away when he had no clue if it was true in the likeness of others.

He had scolded himself many times in the night for being so selfish. Sylwanin was far more sure of her romantic feelings compared to himself. Jake looked to be secure in how he felt to the woman he was going to court eventually. And Tsu’tey?

The warrior went through multiple hoops to show his dedication and love when Zazu could barely replicate half of what was given. He found himself akin to a trickster whose words were not truthful and actions did not align with the simplicity of the clan. It was all straightforward but everything had swerved one day and now there was only shame.

“ But Tsu’tey loves you, ” Jake stated.

It was a fact.

“ It will pass ,” Zazu said, letting out a quiet sigh.

“...It will pass.”

Chapter Text

The Hunt Festival, a great occasion full of joy and food hunted by the clan’s large group of hunters. Zazu's father was not exempted from it either. There was rarely a time the reef Na'vi happened to visit when the clan's festivities were in full swing, normally having been either a week too late due to the Metkayina having their own celebrations going on.

This would be his first time experiencing such an occasion, although there wasn't much else to do other than telling stories to the children while the cooks of the clan prepared everything. From pretending to be an ikran to creating shadow puppets he had learned to make with his hands, he smiled at the cheeriness coming from the young ones. Eventually they did leave to go play elsewhere or help out with their parents and only then did the loss of distraction start to eat at him.

It made him wonder what it would be like to have a child of his own. A younger version of himself with a gummy smile and possibly hands too big for a normal bow used in the Omatikaya. He could imagine Tsu'tey teaching the child how to hunt but if they were horrible at it, then maybe they would run to him and he would teach them how to sing.

They would weave baskets together and gather fruit, they would sleep between him and Tsu’tey with a body that would only grow quick in the few years to come. The idea of a family fitted in so well with the unforeseeable future or rather, it was a future he wanted. Something he desired even if it was once again greedy for him to yearn. Zazu still yearned for Tsu’tey to hopefully see him and never leave his side; yearned for love for the broken man that he is.

He left to the kitchen for a distraction.

—

When night came, everyone was having their fill of drinks, entertainment and food. Sitting beside Tsu’tey, Zazu was eating the food he was given while watching a couple Na'vi dance the night away.

“You will wake up with a headache tomorrow if you drink too much,” he warned Tsu’tey.

The warrior scoffed, one arm kept around Zazu’s waist with his free hand holding the bowl of kava.

“I know my limits. A single bowl will not take me down.”

“Then at least share it.” Zazu pouted.

Tsu'tey let out a short exhale leaning towards laughter, “You said you hated the taste.”

Zazu bristled at his words, knowing them to be true and slouching while finishing the final bits of his meal. The taste of kava always sat a little too strong on his tongue and left him immediately feeling tipsy the moment after. It was probably why the elders liked to tease him now and then the first time he ever tried a sip.

“That was in the past. My tastes could have changed,” he said.

“Ha! As likely as that demon surviving his Uniltaron,” Tsu’tey scoffed.

He took another swig of his drink, graciously offering it to Zazu with a smirk to which the other male rolled his eyes at.

“Drink your kava, I will see what the sisters are up to.”

He was ready to stand up, taking a moment to glance at where Jake was telling stories to the young hunters surrounding him before shifting his gaze back to Tsu'tey. Gesturing with his head towards the group, his eyes widened with a look of insistence but was met with a shake of the head. He deadpanned, gesturing once more to the hunters and got a less than thrilled Na'vi on his hands.

“You should make peace with him. I heard he did well during the hunt,” he said.

Tsu'tey groaned, laying his head on Zazu’s shoulder, his exhale tickling his love’s skin and reeling in a soft chuckle from the man. Kissing his forehead, Zazu cupped the warrior's face and placed another delicate kiss just below his eye.

“Do it for me?” He pleaded.

Were such affections too much? Maybe he had to hold back; pretend he hadn't just presented such a vulnerable part of himself in the public eye. He slowly pulled away but his hand was quickly snatched into Tsu’tey's. Kava set off to the side, Tsu'tey poured his attention to the very clear love he was given as his lips met Zazu’s knuckles then his palm.

How could Tsu'tey refuse such a plea?

“Only for you.”

Zazu, with a face burning in embarrassment, left to find their friend and unfortunately got dragged into dancing despite his protests. Whereas Tsu'tey approached Jake with the usual scowl on his face, space being made for him by the younger hunters. Squatting next to the dreamwalker, he saw how Jake was readying himself for a verbal fight but berating could wait for another time. Preferably one that wasn't during a festival and when the dreamwalker messed up somehow.

Instead, he presented the bowl of kava to the hunter next to him, still relatively full but not too much to render someone drunk should they take a big gulp. Glancing between the offered bowl and Tsu'tey, Jake finally took a swig of the drink while a few around him cheered in delight.

“ Watch that stuff. It'll knock you into next week ,” Grace warned without much fire to it.

He let out a satisfied sigh, handing the kava back to Tsu'tey with a grin. In turn, the other man drank his fill as well, locking eyes in what seemed to be a challenge. Some hunters would cheer to get the joyful mood going while the rhythmic beat of the drums blended in the background paired with the sound of whoops in dance. Eventually the bowl was emptied and tossed into a pile by the fire. The festival continued on and for a moment, the sounds died down in Tsu'tey's head, clearing his mind as he stared blearily at Jake. Not long after did he grin.

“ I thought- enough drink- you would not be so ugly ,” he said.

Jake lowered his head with a sheepish smile, “ Sorry .”

It was silent between them for a moment with Tsu'tey looking at the fire with his thoughts running deep. Despite reservations about Jake from the start, the dreamwalker had clearly proven his skills in hunting and it wouldn't be long until he finally became part of The People. Someday Jake would become his brother-in-arms and they would fight together but if it turned out the enemy was the Sky People, would Jake turn against them?

These were aliens who fought from the comfort of their machines, keeping their false bodies intact like precious stones unsullied by danger. A few scars from Jake's time here in the Omatikaya could be seen on his arms and his fingertips. The markings of a warrior in the making. It was unlike Grace and Norm who had yet to face predators head on and deal with nippings of an ikran. He was strong in his own way, protected by Zazu and no doubt being cared for by Neytiri herself. A demon who fights so far from home, it was as if Tsu’tey could see parts of Zazu in him and perhaps it was because of it which inclined him to at least let his guard down for a moment.

“ Your warriors…hide inside machines. Fight from far away… ” He turned to look back at Jake.

“ I did not think a sky person could be brave. ”

Jake opened his mouth to speak but their conversation was interrupted by Neytiri who had approached them with a smile. Her hands were first to reach for Jake, her gaze locked with his in a manner of entrancement. For them, Tsu’tey was sure they were in their own world, much like how Mo’at would describe him and Zazu.

“ You must dance! It is the way ,” she told the dreamwalker and this left the warrior alone amongst the rest of the hunters.

Fortunately, Jake’s empty spot was occupied by Zazu who plopped beside him with an exasperated sigh. Their shoulders bumped together and Zazu looked at the other man with a tired smile. His head laid on Tsu’tey’s shoulder, a soft sigh leaving his lips and the two momentarily basked in the warmth amongst the dancing crowd.

“I did not know you could dance,” Tsu’tey said.

Zazu snorted, “I can’t. But Sylwanin dragged me into it.”

“Will you show me?”

It was as if those words sent an electrifying jolt down Zazu’s spine and his breath paused for a moment. What would he show Tsu’tey? His horrible dance moves and clumsy feet? It would be embarrassing to even try dancing right now, especially amongst those who were far better than him. Even Grace and Jake were well balanced enough to blend together with the rest of the dancers. He lifted his head to move away and Tsu’tey followed his movement, one hand holding onto the reef Na’vi’s bicep.

“Come with me,” Tsu’tey whispered in a near silent plea.

Everyone else was still enjoying the festivities and it didn’t seem like anyone would need either of them for now. Unspoken words remained stuck on Zazu’s tongue but still he slowly nodded. He was graced with the warrior’s smile and it was like his breath got caught for another reason entirely despite knowing that these smiles were mainly reserved for him. Being pulled up to his feet, the two slinked away from the bonfire where Tsu’tey began to lead him to the Tree of Voices.

“...Why are we here?” Zazu hesitantly asked.

“For some peace.” Was the reply he got.

Tsu’tey stopped in his tracks to take Zazu’s hand in his. And once again it was like the whole world only consisted of the both of them. If Zazu could only hold onto these feelings forever without remembering the possible war coming for them, he would willingly discard all that he knew in order to bury himself in his first love. He felt a thumb caress his knuckles and his pupils dilated in awe at the sight of Tsu’tey. The way his skin was illuminated by the glowing tendrils like he was just another light in the large expanse of the abyss. No – he was the moon coming to greet Zazu with the gift of stars. Solace from another busy day full of worries about a past locked away and a future yet to be grasped.

“I want to kiss you,” he confessed.

“Then kiss me.”

Tsu’tey was pulled close and held tenderly in Zazu’s arms as they once again shared what felt like their last kiss. Love unable to be worded out and instead poured through the gentle actions of Zazu who seemed to grow overwhelmed by it all. Tears decorated Tsu’tey’s cheeks and fell from Zazu’s eyes like a never-ending stream flowing from his heart. Because maybe there would be a day where he would never get to showcase his love anymore, whether it be due to his well-deserved death, or Tsu’tey’s unfair one. Or maybe it wouldn’t be death who claimed either of them and instead the one thing Zazu feared the most.

His memories.

Zazu began to babble apologies amidst his sobbing, chest heaving in quick succession and having his hands cup Tsu’tey’s face. His beloved, someone he so wished to claim for all to know but never doing it in fear of retribution. The one man he has known to love and wish for love from. He had it, everything he wanted and more just a step outside of the circle he had drawn around himself. He was being given affection and a glimpse into a future he could have if he wasn’t so weak. If he wasn’t hesitant on making Tsu’tey his mate, every single pain in his heart would be resolved. He was sure of it.

And yet, guilt weighed upon him to the point where he could only show himself to be a coward in the face of the future.

“I wish you would be mine. I wish- I wish you would stay,” he choked out.

All of his wishes were spoken as if Tsu’tey wasn’t willing to bear his heart to Zazu.

“I am already yours,” Tsu’tey said, “Always.”

Zazu shook his head like a petulant child, clearly disagreeing with the answer. His desires could not be so easily given, it just wasn’t possible with how utterly disgusting he saw himself to be. Grotesque and undeserving of something pure from the moon’s light.

“I am afraid you will scorn me for being so weak. There are- When you finally look into my memories, you will no longer want me,” he finally said.

The one truth which wrapped around his throat like a noose because who would love someone who had gone through such atrocities like he did?

“Is that not for me to decide?” Tsu’tey questioned.

Zazu looked away guiltily, “I- I simply know you will pity me.”

“Then why can Sylwanin know?” The warrior hastily held back his tongue.

Taking a deep breath, Tsu’tey raised a hand to hold onto Zazu’s wrist.

“Why can Sylwanin know about it and not me?” He repeated.

“Ma Tsu’tey-”

“ Answer me! ” He seethed.

A beat of silence. The sound of the forest was starting to get too loud for Zazu, so was the sound of his beating heart.

“I- I- did not tell her everything-”

Tsu’tey interjected, “Then what did you tell her?”

Another hitch of the breath.

“My time with the sky people. When I was away from home,” Zazu answered.

The damned demons. Of course it was their fault. It was always their fault. It was the demons who resided in their home of stone and guns who made Zazu this way. If only the demons never set foot on this land, he would have been very well already living a life of domesticity with his beloved. They would not have to worry about war or dying from an entity so alien to this world. They would have children and raise them beautifully. Then they would both die from old age. This was the future Tsu’tey had dreamt of as a child.

“They have done things to me. Things I am ashamed of. Things I can never take back,” Zazu slowly said.

He wanted to say more, however, stringing up words never was his greatest strength and he pulled his lips into a bitter smile. He lowered his hands but still let one of them hold onto Tsu'tey’s forearm.

“I thought of you often when I was there,” he followed up, “I was afraid of forgetting you.”

“So was I,” Tsu’tey said.

Zazu took a deep breath, effectively calming his heart for the moment as he caressed Tsu’tey’s face with his thumb. His eyelids lowered in an expression of contemplation over what to say and bit his bottom lip to stop himself from spitting out the first thing that came to mind.

“...They would use their things to poke me with. They would take my blood. Sometimes if they could, my skin. They always liked to bring me to their white room and place me on their cold table.” He stopped.

Tsu’tey could tell it was a sore topic but this much was better than nothing.

“It could have been worse,” Zazu assured.

Anything worse than what he experienced was probably being strapped down for days and being used as a test subject, but he digressed.

“But it is still bad,” Tsu'tey countered.

“Yes, it was.” That smile of his remained.

Silence blanketed itself over them once more and the budding heat had cooled down into nothing more than trickling raindrops. If only their love story were as simple as their wishes and dreams, alas, it could never be as easy as the unspoken tension between two others they knew of.

“Did you talk to Jake ?” He changed the topic.

Tsu'tey nodded, looking off to the side for a moment.

“He is brave. Foolish, but brave.”

Zazu hummed softly, “He gets along well with members of the clan. Maybe it is because he is with me.”

“Maybe,” Tsu'tey mused, “But I still do not trust him.”

Who in their right mind would trust someone in a false body? Certainly not those who had seen the crimes committed by the people who piloted these avatars. To Tsu'tey, they were all one in the same with very few exceptions but everyone was putting their trust in Jake. He looked into Zazu's eyes. He could never trust Jake, not like Zazu could.

“Is it right to put so much faith in him?” Tsu'tey asked.

He did not get an answer so soon and visible conflict was seen striking Zazu’s expression. Eventually, the taller Na'vi opened his mouth to speak.

“I hope it is.”

—

It had nearly been three months since Jake began training himself to be one of the people. The once wary gazes from older clan members had relaxed over time if not aided by Zazu’s insistence of sticking around the dreamwalker whenever the two had time. Such as now where the two had free time away from either training or chores. Daylight shone brilliantly and it would be a waste to leave the day be without doing anything much. However, without much of a destination and Jake needing someone to keep an eye on him, they resorted to crafting beads in the quiet corners of the communal floor.

“ I never got to ask. How’d you learn to make all these so well? ” Jake spoke up.

Poking a hole through the small rounded object, Zazu eyed his latest creation for a moment before setting it aside amongst the piles of many others in the basket.

“ Practice. You will be better with practice ,” he replied.

Jake let out an audible groan as he presented his own work to the clear expert between them. The bead was red in colour with its shape trying to mimic a sphere much like he watched Zazu do. However, it had misshapen edges and looked more like a crude lump if anything. He had a small bunch of failed attempts brushed off to his side and pushed them further away from sight when he saw the frown on Zazu’s face.

“How sad,” the reef Na’vi murmured.

“ Hey! I know what you’re saying! ” Jake gruffed out from his friend’s comment.

Friend? Was it right for him to see Zazu that way? Obviously he saw Neytiri differently with how their interactions played out. Then there was Tsu’tey whom he was normally at odds with but still considered as a comrade…sort of. Sylwanin was a source of information and while it was hard for him to perceive her as anything more, supposed another title would be Neytiri’s older sister. Zazu’s friend. The clan’s future tsahìk. Someone whose knowledge satisfied the colonel and the mission at hand. For now at least.

Uneasiness settled in Jake’s gut and he wondered how much longer he could hold up this life he’d built here. It wasn’t long by anyone’s standards but he hoped in some way he had carved himself a place here for everyone to remember him by. Looking down at his hands with a bead far too crude for anything, it would be easy to spot it in the seemingly perfect batch done by Zazu. He glanced at the man next to him.

“ Would we be friends if we met earlier? ” He voiced the question.

He expected hard rejection or a flimsy answer. Just a stupid question in order to sate his inner demons.

“ I want to think we would ,” Zazu answered.

“ Even if I was still human? ”

Zazu should have known that the only reason why everyone was entertaining his existence was due to the fact that he had an avatar to pilot. No doubt would he have been shot down the moment any hunter saw him as a human. Or maybe they would have pitied his useless legs and left him to larger predators in the forest. He let out a bitter chuckle under his breath, tossing the bead aside to rid himself of his useless musings.

“ Forget I said anything. Humans are just hypocrites in the end .”

“ Hypo… ” Zazu trailed off.

“ Someone who says one thing but goes and does another ,” Jake explained.

He wet the corner of his lips, his gaze drifting off to the side where others were peacefully going about their day as if war would not touch them.

“ Like if someone says they want peace but goes on to create trouble .”

Zazu hummed in thought, “ A traitor. Have you known someone who did this? ”

Jake choked out a laugh but shook his head while shame rooted itself in his bones.

“ Thankfully not. I’d hate being lied to .”

The taller Na’vi nodded in agreement and it only made the churning in Jake’s stomach grow tenfold.

“ You need not worry. Na’vi would not lie to you ,” Zazu assured, patting the man’s shoulder with a smile.

Zazu hadn’t noticed his change in mood or maybe he did and didn’t wish to comment on it. Jake could call Zazu his friend but the same couldn’t be said from the other end once the veil was pulled away to reveal his horrible deeds. He couldn’t even muster up a quip when his hand was gently taken but his noisy brain calmed once he registered the beaded bracelet around his wrist. Not too tight to itch but not too loose that it fell off. Coloured in hues of turquoise, it was probably the first ever gift he had gotten ever since starting his training here.

“ Token of friendship. We are friends, because you are Jake Sully ,” Zazu said, clasping Jake’s hand to give it a firm squeeze.

“ Huh… ” Jake sounded out.

What if it wasn’t enough to be himself? He was sure being himself was the worst way to be. But when he looked into Zazu’s eyes, his face forever marred by humans, how could someone like him ever say they were friends?

“... Yeah ,” he shakily agreed, “ Friends .”

—

Jake had left one day to talk to the higher-ups along with Grace which meant his body was now left unattended in a hammock. Zazu curiously poked Jake’s cheek as if expecting the man to suddenly wake but all he got was the body’s rhythmic breathing. Alive with no soul to inhabit it. His ears twitched when he heard footsteps approaching him and was by no means surprised when his hand was pulled away and intertwined with the hunter who came to him.

“Do not find yourself so enraptured by the demon. That is Neytiri’s job,” Tsu’tey huffed.

Zazu snorted and moved closer to rub his nose over the hunter’s cheek.

“I am only curious. Do you not wonder what he does when he's away?"

“Only that he goes to do demon things.”

Tsu'tey crossed his arms together but relented with a sigh to wrap one arm around Zazu's waist. It felt perfectly normal like he was made to hold the taller Na'vi this way and nothing else. It would have been better if he wasn't made aware of the slumbering dreamwalker barely a couple steps away.

“Let’s take a walk,” he suggested.

The two descended to the ground floor, the occasional clan member greeting Tsu'tey while a couple kids made the duo hang back when they asked for Zazu to play with them. Eventually, they managed to get away to a quieter part of Hometree by the forest's edge where passing Na'vi barely paid them any mind. Tsu'tey’s hand drifted downwards to clasp together with Zazu’s, their arms slightly swaying as the shorter of them led the way.

“Do you not have chores?” Zazu queried with a skeptical look.

The future olo’eyktan— or rather, soon-to-be resigned future leader shook his head, the beads in his hair clacking against one another. Colours of blue, yellow and white in the same order Zazu had once done back then. His free hand moved to graze over the braids, his gaze locking onto the other man's for a moment before seeing those golden eyes drift to his free flowing hair.

“I have more at home, back in the reef. I have…a lot more to give you,” he confessed.

“How many more?” Tsu'tey asked.

Zazu snorted, thinking about the whole basket full of items he had in the family marui and wondered what they did with it all. Probably reused it for something else or maybe they left it be just as they'd leave his part of the home untouched again. The reef Na'vi stepped behind him, his lips brushing over Tsu'tey’s ear as his hot breath heated the skin.

“From all the times I visited. There was always something more I had. A woven armband, a new bracelet…” His fingers trailed down Tsu'tey’s forearm from the wrist.

“A blade from sea glass reminiscent of the oceans I wanted to show you. The many beads I practiced to make, ones you now wear.”

There were definitely more than the ones he had spoken of and for a moment he paused to think. His younger self really did love Tsu'tey despite it all. Which was funny because he doubted his younger self could ever imagine falling out of love with Tsu'tey. Or rather, be deathly afraid of this love. The Na'vi he yearned for years, now willing to be in his arms but he couldn't bear the guilt which came with.

Weighing upon his shoulders and slowly burying him deep into the dirt, Zazu wanted to try hanging on in hopes everything would be solved but what if it was easier to let go? His love, although great, would struggle to flourish. And yet, he took every ounce of Tsu'tey’s out of selfishness without giving anything back. He could not be the same Na'vi his first love wished for him to be and he could feel himself cracking under the pressure. Leading Tsu'tey on with hope of becoming mates when his heart was not in it.

It reminded him of something.

Hypocrite.

Jake's words rang in his head and he stared at Tsu'tey with a far-off look in his eyes.

He was a hypocrite. He was sure of it.

“I-” Zazu's words got caught in his throat and he swallowed them down.

“I wish we never had to part,” he said instead.

It was the truth. If the incident never happened, maybe he wouldn't be in this situation where his heart and brain were on two different pages. Logic told him to leave and never return but his heart longed to remain. How could he not listen to his heart?

“But you have returned. I will not let you leave again,” Tsu'tey growled.

“So possessive,” Zazu commented.

“It is called protective. I will make sure no demons hurt you. I have to .”

Tsu'tey didn't promise this time and maybe it was for the best. There were only so many times one could break a promise.

Zazu let out a soft exhale, “They will call for us. To prepare for Tsyeyk’s Uniltaron.”

“You're doing it again,” Tsu'tey responded.

“I don't know what you mean,” the other Na'vi followed up.

Tension slowly rose from the dark depths and squeezed his heart in a tight grip. It was difficult to pretend everything was fine when they both knew it would never be the same. Their scars were a clear reminder of that. So long as humans continued to stay on Pandora, there would forever be a ticking guillotine right above their heads, ready to chop off anything on the cutting block.

If Zazu thought about it hard enough, maybe he'd be able to imagine the clock ticking until it finally stopped. Would he feel relieved then? Or maybe he wouldn't feel anything at all.

“Let us drop it for now. Please,” he whispered.

He could tell from Tsu'tey's gaze and shame built inside of him like a worm. A maggot which had made a home in his heart with nowhere else to go. It wriggled with the same dance and song it had grown accustomed to with its host never quite knowing how to deal with it all.

“Don't look at me like that,” he continued, words spilling out like a leaking bucket.

Tsu'tey frowned, “Like what?”

Like a liar.

Zazu did not think of himself as one. He hoped not to be but here he was, lying. As if he had become a human. He gulped at the thought. He could feel his hands start to tremble and he hid them behind his back as cold sweat dribbled down his forehead.

A traitor.

He wished to run away. His feet felt like concrete trapped to the ground with only a single step taken back.

But soon, he ran.

Chapter Text

Flight or fight. An ingrained reaction. Then there was freeze and fawn. Zazu was never a fighter, at least not one of the heart, and knew he had no chance of outrunning the problems that had cropped up.

He was running.

Why was he running?

He found solace in the forest, hiding away by the Tree of Voices whose white tendrils in the daytime soothed his soul. He panted, breath caught in his throat over the look on Tsu'tey's face. His eyes were wide, darting about in fear as he hugged his knees to his chest, hands clutching his arms for dear life.

Once again he was different in the eyes of the People. He could already tell from the way they looked at him. Tainted by the influence of humans and their wicked ways, sullied by their teachings; how these demons used the Na'vi for their own advantage and the memories of it made Zazu ready to break down. From the start, the number of humans in the facility considered as actually good people were only as many as he could count off his fingers and toes alone. Everyone else either found joy in the slaughter or stood by while it all happened.

He remembered the curious eyes which looked upon him in admiration. And soon after, the look of fear and pain brought along with it. Zazu shuddered, his mind blocking off the memory once more and blurring the faces in the scene. Just as every horrific part he's ever known seemingly erased from existence, except, he knew it remained deep inside the recesses of his mind. Waiting to come out and play before yanking him by the kuru and digging into his wounds again.

It was a vicious cycle, one deemed short for the amount of time he'd spend in it. To him, it wasn't bad. How could it be when there were worse things? He rationalized his situation to be fine because the worst thing that could happen was dying. And unfortunately, he wasn't dead yet. Perhaps soon if deemed so but all he had were messy feelings and a brain that wouldn't stop making him cry. He could see the pity in the eyes of his loved ones when he'd tear up.

Life would be easier if everyone hated him. Because then, he wouldn't need to go play pretend and maybe he'd somehow find his way back to the reef where he belonged. Then again, he'd be considered dead once more to the Metkayina and they'd possibly toss him out. The clan was not at war and for someone like him who invited the caresses of death, he was a clear threat to the peace they had made for years.

His breath was caught in his throat as thoughts of death began to taunt him. Dying would be an easier ending, would it not? He'd be with Txon’ong that way. He was sure his grandfather would understand. Eywa would help him. Falling to his knees, he struggled to breathe, short pants choking him up as tears fell down his cheeks.

Was dying supposed to be this painful?

He couldn't remember.

He gasped for air but it only made him panic when it didn't work to alleviate the pain in his chest. His fingers gripped the grass beneath him, his eyes starting to roll back as his ears rang. He could vaguely hear the sound of wings flapping nearby and for a moment, Zazu wondered if it was Txon'ong coming to greet him. He put on a shaky smile, expecting a dark blue ikran to come into view until he was roughly nudged in the face by a beak.

It nudged his face and gently tapped at his chest with a soft thrill. Green was all he saw. Green with black markings paired with red. The only ikran he knew with such a speckled pattern was the juvenile who chased after him that day. He took a deep breath, slowly shifting backwards to get a better view of the creature before him.

He watched as it tilted its head in curiosity, hopping about in place with a flick of its tail.

“You-” Zazu choked out.

He returned to focus on his breathing. In and out, just as the ikran was doing. The two stared each other down for a prolonged period of time until Zazu could finally feel his heartbeat returning to its normal pace. One hand on his chest, he glanced down at himself before directing his gaze right at the banshee.

“How long have you been following me?” He asked.

The ikran looked away, peeking at him in its peripheral vision as if it never did such a thing. Zazu deadpanned, already finding the mischievous animal far more annoying to deal with than his current thoughts. He didn't want to bring this troublemaker back to Hometree and if he did, there was sure to be some sort of infighting with the ikrans.

The Na'vi sighed, rubbing his temples together and hearing the ikran moving around. It shifted closer, its beak close to his neck and travelling down to his chest where it pressed itself against. He clicked his tongue, swatting away the creature like it was a pest but it only made it stay. He growled, pushing its beak more harshly this time.

“Go, I'm not hurt. Go!” He barked out.

“ Leave !”

But it stayed and more tears fell from Zazu’s eyes like a never ending stream. Here, he was no longer a fraud, simply a child who only knew how to wear a mask everyone else responded with in kind. He could not be the mature adult everyone wanted him to be despite his pains. Be happy. Smile. Pretend everything was fine.

But it wasn't fine. How could it be? How could all the horrible things he had gone through make him okay? He shouldn't have to bear the consequences of people's actions, he shouldn't have had to go through everything he did in those two years and yet…

He did.

And now he had the scars hidden beneath the skin where only he knew of. They itched and crawled beneath like worms but no matter how much he scratched at it, the sensation would never disappear. If he peeled back the skin, would everyone he loved still look at him with the same affection he poured out? Or perhaps they would scorn him and abandon him. He always thought they'd abandon him. He didn't know why either.

Was it because Zazu had been alone this whole time?

Txon'ong was there. Now he wasn't.

This random juvenile ikran was still in front of Zazu. He bet even a simple animal living in the forest would have steered clear of him the moment he yelled. Anyone and anything sensible would have left him but not this ikran. The Na'vi wiped away his tears, leaning onto the tree all while feeling the intense gaze fixed upon him.

“Stop, it's annoying,” he said.

He heard its thrills and clicks rumbling in its throat and his face pulled into an unamused expression he couldn't quite control in time.

“Go look elsewhere,” he sniffled, “Your staring is bothering me.”

It continued to stay and Zazu didn't know whether to be fed up or to simply let it be. There was no use yelling at an animal who clearly didn't want to leave right now. He huffed, staring down at the ground in defeat from everything. The fight he would most likely get into with Tsu'tey to his parents who'd have to hear about how he ran away like a child. Maybe Mo’at would shake her head in disappointment or Tsu’tey's mother would tut at him in disapproval.

A child they'd call him.

Maybe he wanted to be a child again. Only to live his life with lesser worries but supposed he always had something to worry about when perceived by everyone else. It was hard not to worry when you were an outsider.

Zazu sighed again, reluctantly taking a peek at the ikran beside him to see it sitting upright and soaking up the sun.

He took a deep breath before sighing.

“You are the strangest ikran I've met,” he said.

The animal turned away just a bit as if offended by his words.

“It's okay. I'm strange too.”

Silence befell the two until Zazu spoke up again.

“Do the other ikran look at you weird? Sometimes I can feel everyone looking at me like they know something is wrong. Is that strange?”

He slumped his shoulders, the tense muscles beginning to relax just a little.

“I don't know. Look at me! Ranting to an ikran who chased me out of nowhere. Who-” He paused for a moment.

“Who chose me… Huh… ”

Zazu tapped his fingers against his knee, realization finally dawning on him after bawling his eyes out yet again from all the stress he seemed to be under. This ikran didn't even know a quarter of what he had gone through but it still chose him. They say a bond between an ikran and their rider is unshakeable for an ikran can only choose one rider in their life.

Was it right to let this ikran choose him? Who was he to stop it? It was clear the large avian did whatever it wanted without caring much about others' judgement. It was something to be envious about, at least from how Zazu saw it.

“Definitely strange,” he said aloud.

He let out a chuckle out of amusement before that short exhale turned into full blown laughter at the absurdity of the situation. Someone choosing him out of all Na'vi? Zazu te Keruhä Tsaraka'itan? It was simply unfathomable anyone would even look twice after seeing him for who he really was. But clearly ikran chose their riders for a reason. Like their eyes saw past the many walls put up and into the soul where everything was kept close.

Still, it was laid out enough for the ikran to make their choice and now he was sitting side by side with one. He couldn't believe it. The fact kept repeating itself in his head. Supposed he hadn't put much thought into it back when he was with Txon'ong but the circumstances were different then. There was no injured ikran to earn the trust of nor palulukan to be saved from. It was just him, alone, with an ikran whose name didn't exist.

“I wish I could live like you,” he blurted out, “Someone without a care in the world.”

“…It's heavy. The weight of everyone looking at you. I can sense they know something is wrong and I fear they will catch on soon. It's troublesome if they confronted me. I don't think I know what I'll do.”

He heaved a sigh, looking up to the sky for an answer. They were sitting by the Tree of Voices, surely there was something Eywa could say.

“Tsyeyk is a far better person than me. He earned his way into the clan. Fair and square .”

He swallowed the budding lump in his throat. He had the itch to fly far away where nobody knew of him. He needed to start anew somehow and his mind tunneled in on this option. If he tried it, would it mean he would be born a fourth time? The chance to live without the shackles of his past self chaining him down was a dream he had buried a long time ago.

He licked his upper lip and wondered if it was the right thing to do. Nobody had come after him, possibly giving him space or maybe they were just too busy for his draining antics. He knows he'd have given up on someone if they acted the way he was doing right now. No amount of love would ever be able to have him sit through everything his family and friends did.

“Should I go home? To the reef. I did my Iknimaya there, clearly they think of me as their own.” He gulped, already imagining the stares and crying from his family.

Once again lost to them yet having returned as if time hadn't moved on from that fateful day. If he was alive, he would have returned home not long after but life got in the way. Now he was gnarled and tainted by the many hands that strapped him down and plucked everything they could from him.

Nobody would enjoy it. He found it sickening if someone did. Or maybe he wished he felt it was fine if only it meant he need not dwell on what the whole process left him with. He gently brushed his fingers over the scarred skin, feeling it stretch just a little to the bridge of his nose, the bumpy skin spread out like the stars he heard so much about.

“They will kill me.” He took a deep breath, “...No, I just need to push through. It will be fine.”

It wouldn't be. Not by a long shot but the only way through this uncertainty was the push through, even if it meant he'd be the only one left in the end, just like how he started out. Looking down at his hands, he wondered how many years had passed for them to grow this big. It felt like yesterday he was busy scrounging for food and living wildly until he joined the Omatikaya.

Was it then that he felt like everything had turned upside down? Just how many years had gone by like that? Feeling both himself and as if he were someone else. Twelve years and he had finally woken up to what felt like a life he didn't dare to imagine and a mind too warped by the past to ever fully be normal.

He idly bounced his leg, his hands wringing together as he slowly took deep breaths. His gaze locked onto the ground beneath him. The dirt felt foreign beneath his feet and he ached for the soft lapse of the ocean waves as they came to shore. Where the ilu would play with the young ones and the People's songs drifted into the night. He would hunt for food and share them with his family for dinner where he'd help to babysit the children for the many families who needed time off.

Would he even be useful if he returned?

So many questions he couldn't answer but his legs itched to move. He had to get away from here, even if it meant worrying all those he held dear. But he rationalized that it wouldn't matter in the long run. He was replaceable considering his status as an outsider. Visitor, if one wished to word it nicer.

“You-” Zazu paused for a short moment, “Come with me to the reef?”

The ikran tilted its head curiously, hot air exited its nostrils and the Na'vi cringed at the sensation.

“I know it's hard to trust me now but I know the way. I know the skies and the land. So please,” he whispered at the end.

Carefully holding a hand up, he held it out for the creature to sniff, feeling it draw closer to his palm as he looked on in anticipation. However, the sudden rustling of leaves caused the ikran to back away as it flew off to safety.

“Wait! Please!” Zazu called after it.

Not long after, Neytiri pushed past the shrubbery with a hard glare fixed onto the taller male. Her bow was gripped tightly in one hand, the wood looking like it was ready to snap at any moment should she be angered any further.

“How could you think of running away? Everyone is worried!” She scolded.

Zazu frowned from that, “I only needed time to myself.”

“By running away.”

Her counter had his expression darken and he growled in turn.

“You know nothing ,” he sneered.

Neytiri had to hold herself back from smacking him but that didn't mean she wasn't at least going to hurl something at him. The thing she chose was her rider's mask which smacked his chest before falling right onto the ground.

“You never tell us anything. How would we know?!” She yelled.

“Because you're supposed to be my friend! My sister! You're supposed to know!” He retorted.

“I cannot read your mind. You must tell it to me with your own mouth or have you learned to lie from the Sky People?”

Lie.

There was that word again.

“I do not lie,” he argued.

“You choose to.”

Zazu gritted his teeth in frustration, tears bringing his eyes as he did his best to reel his burning emotions back.

Out of everyone to have found him, it had to be Neytiri. He'd take Mo’at if it meant he'd gain some wisdom out of it for he couldn't take the disappointment mixed into his friend's furious expression.

“So what? I chose to lie, I chose to be this way,” he let out a bitter laugh, “You hate it, right? Seeing me like this. Spiteful.”

He took one step forward, steadying himself in what was a mental uphill battle.

“Makes you want to kill this alien that I am. This liar .”

He eyed the blade on her hip and amidst the thick tension between them, he lunged for the weapon while Neytiri leaped back to put some distance between them. Her eyes narrowed as she lowered herself to the ground, one hand sheathing her bow behind her back.

“Why are you like this?” She questioned.

Her words made Zazu boil in anger. How couldn't he be this way? He was no saint like Sylwanin nor level-headed like any other Tsahik he's ever met. He was just Zazu. A regular Na'vi who got thrown down into dirt one too many times by Eywa.

“Who would say they are fine?! I lost Txon'ong and my eye! They took my blood, my skin, my memories . All at the cost of my life.

They did their best to take everything they could from me and they succeeded. Is that what you want to hear, Neytiri? You want to hear how much fear they put in me?”

He took another step closer, then another.

“Any moment I turn useless, they can easily kill me. If I have nothing left to take from alive, they will simply take from me when dead.”

Zazu bit his bottom lip but found himself unable to stop his next words.

“I never asked to end up like this! I never asked to live!”

He wasn't able to reach Neytiri and instead fell on all fours. His tears flowed freely with his sobs piercing the air like a newborn baby who had no idea how to stop other than to continue their cries for attention if it meant being soothed.

He remembered how bad his blood tasted on his tongue when his nose began to bleed. The horrible machine which had locked him in place while the spinning bright green light looked like something from a nightmare coming to take his soul. His brain was nearly about to burst had Grace not intervened but even then, it was too late.

The damage had been done and Zazu served well as a little puppet to string along in the two years he had stayed in the facility. He couldn't bear to think what it would be like if he had to be there for longer like the others. He wanted the ground to eat him up and take away all his pain  Perhaps then, he'd be reborn with a much simpler life where he needn't be riddled with the endless war in both heart and mind.

He sank lower till his face met the soft grass. He didn't care to shield himself, leaving his back open to any attacks. He just hoped it would be quick and painless but since when were his wishes ever granted?

“I see you,” Neytiri spoke.

He wanted to laugh but kept quiet in fear of it bringing another round of crying.

“You don’t.” He sluggishly turned to lay on his back, “No one does. Not even my parents. Not even Tsu'tey.”

“The happy mature side? It was a lie. I am not wise nor am I kind. You are seeing a fake.”

Neytiri carefully stepped closer, the sunlight reflecting off her skin as her shadow loomed over Zazu like an eclipse. Her ear twitched while she moved to kneel down on one knee, her hand brushing over the scarred skin and feeling its every bump. She held his face and she wondered just how long he had been this way without her ever prodding into it.

“I still love you.” Zazu teared up. “That is no lie.”

But he knew he'd never receive that same love back with how he was being.

“I tried. I really did. I'm sorry.”

If only trying led people into loving him unconditionally. If only he was never struck with the trauma his entire life had given him because he did try to forget it all. He did try to pretend he wasn't affected if only to soothe the worries of those close to him. Or perhaps he had been overthinking it once again and in truth, no one cared.

“I don't know who I am anymore,” he confessed.

“You are my friend. My brother, ” Neytiri whispered.

Zazu's heart thumped to a calling he couldn't quite pinpoint but it dulled with the ache which seemed to flare in response.

“Maybe it's not enough.”

“Then let it be enough. Just for now.”

—

No one else asked questions and Zazu never gave any answers. Eventually a couple days passed and it was time for Jake to join the clan. It was bittersweet in a way. How he was happy for his friend yet envious because the man now had a place he belonged. Despite the hair on his brows and the obvious extra finger, Jake barely looked out of place and could easily blend in with the sea of dark blue.

He was itching to return to the reef if it meant he could disappear into the many Na'vi who looked like him. Supposed the loneliness never left and he was still that same child who ached for the concrete feeling of being accepted. For all he knew, Maru and Rai’uk merely saw him as someone they happened to pick up despite calling him their son. A stray they housed under the olo’eyktan’s permission just as he was another face in the Metkayina they fished up from the ocean.

He didn't dare face Tsu'tey at the event. He knew he'd be met with disappointment and Zazu had done relatively well avoiding the future olo'eyktan, or rather soon to be ex-olo’eyktan. But he did catch glimpses of him standing next to Sylwanin when the two were busy with clan duties and the same ache he felt weeks ago would return. Though, it would be a lie to say he felt this way for only a short time when he remembered the way his heart would squeeze in death's grip years back.

Sometimes he wondered if he should have listened to his relatives nagging back then. To mate with one of the many eligible Na'vi in the Metkayina if it meant living a peaceful lie he wouldn't dare rock the boat of. He wanted to fly far, far away to maybe even as high as the stars if their brilliant light was able to burn away these horrible emotions he held. But he could only think of his family in the reef and the delusion that they would welcome him with open arms once more.

Different possibilities constantly ran through his mind paired with the trauma he had endured ever since he had washed ashore all alone. His head hurt from thinking too much and Zazu harshly rubbed his eyes if it meant ridding the possible tears that would spring up. He couldn't take it. The guilt. The pain. Every bad thing that came with simply existing. When did living become so hard? Was he cursed the moment he was born? Or perhaps it was Eywa telling him to repent for his sins of greed?

He'd never know but what he did accept was that he deserved it. Because in the end, he was a talentless nobody who was an insignificant drop of water in the large ocean. Someone who chased after an ideal not meant for him to claim and now the bright light was punishing him by burning him from inside out.

Turmoil. It was a struggle to have felt so many emotions at once but Zazu's expression stilled and his tense shoulders grew slack. A long exhale left his parted lips and he stared ahead with barely any light in those eyes of his. A nagging voice started to pipe up in his mind, one whom he had not heard in a while and despised. Yet, in this all too tranquil forest, he welcomed the agent of chaos if it meant restoring some semblance of familiarity to the lie he had built up in the past few months.

His mind grew clear as time passed where he sat on a sturdy branch, barely moving an inch save for the slow rise and fall of his chest. For however long he stayed there, he merely wished to sleep the rest of the day away. His blank gaze slowly raised itself up and Zazu craned his neck to look up at the sky, although the dense foliage of the looming trees blocked what he could see.

With a heavy heart and sluggish movements, the Na'vi made his descent in order to return to the clan. The once brilliant sky had dipped into the dark night where only the stars watched over him. He doubted anyone would be awake right now other than the rare few who perhaps had nightmares like him. And yet, when he neared the daunting tree he was meant to stay in, a familiar figure was waiting for him, arms crossed together with a frown telling of a scolding to come.

Zazu had to speak but the energy to do so had left him and walking was already such a chore. His eyes darted to the side and he heard the man let out a soft sigh which he took as disappointment. It would be easier to die if it meant he needn't inflict such emotions on those he loved. Still, he heard footsteps approach him and one hand was taken in a gentle hold.

“My son…” Rai’uk whispered.

His concerns were left unsaid for now but this was a delicate issue the older Na'vi struggled to approach. Such troubles of the heart needed a delicate touch and Rai'uk never saw himself as a gentle man. Only one who knew how to hunt with his few but blunt words he rarely took back. But that vacant look of defeat was one he saw in comrades who had seen too much and felt too little. Parts of themselves locked away but they would soon smile and reassure all was fine. Until they ultimately took their own lives.

Rai'uk could not tap into those memories for he didn't know what sort of pain he'd be unleashing upon his son if he tried to do so. However, he knew he could not leave his child like this. For if Zazu ever decided that leaving all this hurt was by ending it all, he could never forgive himself.

He pursed his lips, gently squeezing Zazu's hand to comfort him. Maybe that was all he could do.

“Come, there is still food. Eat and rest for the coming day,” he said, slowly leading his son to the kitchens.

Leftovers had been kept safely packaged in leaf wrappings, the food wrap having been hastily made by Maru in a culmination of meat, vegetables and fruit. Zazu heard his stomach growl at the sight of it and hesitated for a moment when he was handed the green wrap. But hunger came before shame and he was quick to chow down having starved himself for hours on end.

He gulped down the water he was given as well, his body feeling slightly less lethargic but not enough to keep itself up if he kept going on like this. Tears filled his eyes and for some reason, he felt like a little child all over again. A young boy who was lost in the forest and could barely keep himself well-fed if not for Txon'ong eventually helping him. He remembered how it felt to curl into himself, his stomach gnawing at itself due to the lack of food but anything he ate would be instantly thrown up in a horrible cycle until he managed to at least get something in.

Here, he didn't need to worry about going hungry again. He needn't worry about being abandoned despite his constant fears. If he could, he'd hold onto his parents however long he was given just as his father was currently holding him. It didn't matter if his friends, or even Tsu'tey were to leave him. He only needed his family to stay because clearly they would stick by his side no matter what. He couldn't bear to lose them just as he did Txon'ong and his hands held his father in a vice grip in fear of the older Na'vi disappearing into dust.

The breath Zazu held finally gave way and he inhaled deeply to calm his rapidly beating heart. He saw himself as a horrible omen of death but didn't know what else to do than let his father soothe him. Because deep down, the child in him was still crying and so was he.

—

Dawn had yet to break but Zazu was wide awake. His legs itched for a walk and so he trudged upstairs to where all the ikran were. Some continued to sleep while others were merely lazing about but the same ikran who had come to badger him a few days back was busy making itself comfortable despite having not bonded itself to him.

Zani was one of the first few who approached him, nudging his side to let him pat her beak with a satisfied chirp. The juvenile was up next and pushed the dark blue ikran away to receive gentle pats from the Na'vi, earning a few glares from those nearby. Zazu let out a soft chuckle, spending the next few minutes adoring the many ikran until they scattered when a new person came out onto the perch.

The green-eyed male didn't dare guess who it was. It had turned into a guessing game at this point, but if he truly had to answer, he would think it was Sylwanin or his parents. Tsu'tey would be out of the question, after all, Zazu had avoided his first love out of shame. He hummed, his gaze casted over the view of the horizon.

“Neytiri?” He voiced out.

Behind him, the figure let out a disgruntled exhale and from that alone, Zazu could tell he was wrong.

“No. She is still with that demon ,” Tsu'tey hissed.

Zazu's ears stood up at attention and against his better judgement, he turned around. He caught sight of Tsu'tey's frown which had softened the moment their eyes met. All the unsaid words between them casted a thick wall of tension one of them was a bit too afraid to face.

“They must have mated,” Zazu said.

A theory which he believed was fact if the two had yet to return. They would be seen as one in the eyes of Eywa and Zazu wondered if he and Tsu'tey would have been the same if he wasn't held back by the past. The sickening events which shaped him into who he was now. Hurt and pain embedding itself into his soul to which he found himself unable to exist without at least remembering fragments of it.

“While I do not agree with her choice, I will respect it,” Tsu'tey sighed with a shake of his head.

“Is it because you do not trust him?” The other Na'vi spoke.

As if the two were magnets, they joined together with their hands gently grasped in the tranquil morning. Soft cries of the ikran blended into the music brought forth by the forest and Zazu seemingly glowed under the rays of sunlight, his lighter skin standing out amongst the colours of green and brown. A Na'vi so far from where he was meant to be but Tsu'tey would be damned if he let this man slip through his fingers once again.

Because it felt like he's lost Zazu one too many times by now.

“How can you be so sure he can be trusted?” Tsu'tey questioned.

“Because he's my friend,” Zazu instantly replied.

He paused for a moment when the words spilled past his lips and he wondered if he was right to assume. Still, he pushed on if it meant that Jake would be seen as less of a threat by the one he loved the most.

“He and I are very alike and he's someone I am friends with. Neytiri likes him, I'm sure Sylwanin does too,” he reasoned.

Tsu'tey shook his head, “His history as a Sky Person is…troubling. He could be leading an army of warriors to kill us! He could-”

Zazu was quick to hush him with a finger to his lips. It was something he had thought of once a long time ago but he didn't wish to harbour such conspiracies against someone he had befriended. As much as he didn't want to, he saw facets of himself in Jake and that much made him want to protect the dreamwalker from the People's ire. Even if in the end, he'd be the only one burnt from the potential backfire.

“I know…” His voice broke at the end and Zazu could not ignore the threat which manifested in the form of his friend.

He took a deep breath, switching the topic at hand to another serious issue he didn't wish to address but knew he had to. If only to lighten the burden weighing on his shoulders.

“I'm sorry…” He squeezed Tsu'tey's hand. “I'm sorry for running away that day.”

He snorted, looking down at the forest Na'vi, “I am a fool, aren't I? An idiot.”

He rested his forehead on Tsu'tey's shoulder and let out a quiet exhale. As if accepting defeat and finally revealing the obvious cracks in his act which he felt no one bothered to ask about.

“I'm tired,” he said.

“Then rest.”

“I don't want to do anything.”

Tsu'tey gently brushed some of his hair back.

“Then I will take care of you, even after you feel better,” he silently promised.

Zazu's next words were uttered quietly in fear of being heard.

“I'm scared to be loved.”

He paused. He didn't think he'd blurt out those words, he didn't even realize he was thinking about it. But now it was out in the open and he didn't know if Tsu'tey heard it. He could feel a thumb caressing the scarred tissue around his eye. Every tiny bump or gentle press against the skin made his ear flick and his tail jolt just a little. Zazu closed both eyes when he felt his friend's warm breath by his ear and relished in the close proximity.

Tsu'tey whispered, “I will show you there is nothing to be scared of.”