Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The air in their practice room smelled as stale as ever, of dust, musty wood, and sweat. Ronald wondered every time why their university rooms seemed to be constructed in such a way that ventilation was never really possible. The air had already merged with these particles and now seemed inseparable from them.

He sat on the edge of the old wooden stage, legs dangling over the side, watching Alan and William engrossed in the final preparations for the play of this semester before they were about to present it to the group.

Grell Sutcliff, as always, clung to William's arm no matter how hard he tried to shake her off, and peered into the script. "Come on, William, tell me what part I get! You know I'm not good at waiting!!!" she impatiently tossed her flaming red hair over her shoulder.

"Five more minutes," Alan tried to placate, while William's left eyebrow was already twitching suspiciously. Ronald unwrapped a candy bar and surveyed the mess from a distance.

Othello, the last regular member of their little theater group, was sitting on the floor, again engrossed in some science stuff he had fished out of his bag. In addition to small roles in the theater, Othello participated mainly in science competitions, in which, admittedly, he was much more successful than as an actor. No wonder William always gave him quieter supporting roles. Sometimes Ronald felt Othello was only in it because he had few other friends.

"So," William finally interrupted Ronald's thoughts, trying again unsuccessfully to free his arm from Sutcliff's grip. "We've basically filled all the roles. Since Eric will probably step in, there's only one role missing. But we've already got a few people up our sleeve on that, otherwise someone will be playing double."

Ronald jumped off the stage and sat cross-legged on the floor with the others.

"We're doing A Midsummer Night's Dream - a classic Shakespeare play, but Alan and I have rewritten it in a slightly more modern way. Slightly!" insisted William again, as Ronald gave him an incredulous look. William was not known for his adaptability and flexibility.

Alan began passing out the lyric sheets.

 “Yes!”, Grell exclaimed almost immediately and made a fist punch in the air, her red-manicured fingernails shining in the artificial light.

“Who do you have?”, Ronald asked curiously while examining his own paper. They learned about Shakespeare in one of his English classes, but to be honest, Ronald hadn’t had paid attention that much. Apparently, his role would be the king of the fairies, Oberon.

“I’m playing Helena, the beautiful woman who will break the hearts of all men in the play!”, Grell explained.

“Not all of them”, William corrected almost immediately while fixing the placing of his glasses. “I hope you know the play or are ready to read it fast and entirely to understand it. It would be very embarrassing if you don’t play your parts correctly when you, and I’m afraid you’ll do it even if I forbid it, improvise again.” He spat the word improvise out as if it was an extremely disgusting bug.

“Yeah yeah, Willy”, the redhead waved her hand at him in a dismissive gesture, “don’t worry. I know the play.” Then she turned her attention to Ronald. “And who will you play?”

“Oberon”, Ronald said and shrugged, then he scratched his head in a shy gesture. “I’m afraid I skipped class when we spoke about Midsummer Night’s Dream…who is he again?”

“Oberon is the king of the fairies, the handsome, powerful man whose wife Titania falls in love with a human due to Puck’s interjecting”, Grell answered. “No wonder they casted you as him…he’s kind of a cheeky bachelor like you”.

“What does that mean?”, Ronald asked, feigning being upset.

“Oh, you know what I mean, Ronnie”, but before Grell could elaborate, William again tried to structure their meeting.

“Well, now that we have a plan for the next half year, be sure to learn the first scene until next week. The first two scenes, if you can. The sooner we all manage to speak our parts fluently, the more time we have for costumes, stage decoration et cetera. Any questions?”

“Yeah, Willy…I bet you already learned your entire part. Do you mind if we practice together? Maybe you can help me a little?”, Grell fluttered her eyelashes coquettishly, while William just let out an exasperated sigh.

“You are correct, I already learned my part. So that I have time to study for the other subjects I still have to learn for”, he stressed the last words with a stern gaze, then got up, his folders neatly tucked into his arms. “See you all next week – and be punctual.”

He left the auditorium, followed by Alan, who he regularly studied with. Grell looked after him with a longing gaze. “Do you think he will practice with me someday?”

“Do you mean practice, or…practice?”, Ronald retorted. Grell just smacked his arm. “Ronnie!”

“By the way, who do you play?”, the blonde asked Othello who seemed to be focused on his papers.

“Puck”, he answered absentmindedly.

“Alright…who is missing then? Alan and William didn’t say who they play”, Ronald wondered.

“Well, from the main roles we still need Titania, your wife…then Lysander and Hermia, the couple in love, and Demetrius, Helena’s lover…oh I hope William plays Demetrius!”, Grell said dreamily.

“But then we still need two more people, right?”

“I heard that that Eric guy will join us this year. You know, now that Alan is his chick and stuff”, Othello grinned.

“Didn’t think you would believe those rumors, honey”, Grell retorted. “Considering what happened last year, after all.”

Othello’s face went red, but before this could escalate into a fight between them, Ronald tried to shift the topic. “Assuming Eric is the one guy…who will take the last role?”

“Well…we probably have to wait until next week. You know how upset William gets when we ‘annoy’ him about stuff for the theatre club outside of these meetings.”

“Which won’t stop you from annoying him anyway, right?”, Ronald grinned.

“Exactly”, Grell matched his shit-eating grin.

Chapter Text

The next week, Ronald hurried through the hallway, his grey backpack that was thrown over only one shoulder slapping against him, and he almost tripped over some garbage littering the floor. Panting, he pushed the door to the auditorium open, were everyone from the theatre group – including Grell, who was nearly always late – eyeing him warily.

“Ronald!”, William exclaimed, his flat voice still indicating that he was upset about his slacking. “Finally, you’re here. We already spoke about some important changes, and I hope you can catch on. We are on a tight schedule.”

That wasn’t surprising to anyone, as William tended to let his perfectionistic side (did he have another?) dominate their practice. They all endured it, because a) no one could deny that it was thanks to William’s attitude that their plays were famous in not only their city, but also the surrounding areas; and b) when they all knew the text by heart, William would loosen his tight leash a little.

“No problem – I already learned the first three scenes! I’m ready”, Ronald exclaimed and put his backpack down to get his sheets out.

“Well…”, Alan began hesitantly. “That’s great, but…one of the changes we had to make is your role. You’re playing Titania now.”

“What?”, Ronald’s eyebrows shot up. They couldn’t be serious.

“As it turns out, the person who originally should have played Titania left the school. But we found a replacement – unfortunately for you, someone who is definitely more fitting for Oberon than Titania. Sorry, Ron”, Alan bit his lip sheepishly.

“Well, guys…you know, I really threw myself into this last week. That’s kind of shitty now”, Ronald said, scratching his head. He had studied the lines every evening, after doing his regular work for classes, to accommodate Will’s tight schedule.

(Not that he wanted to impress William or anything).

“Maybe the other person can play Titania?”, Alan offered. “We could at least try…what do you think, Will?”

“Ronald and he will play a couple. It just looks better if Ronald switches to Titania now. Ronald, you could even help the new guy learn his parts. He’s an abroad student, so I’m not sure how well his English actually is. It is certainly good enough for class, but I’d be relieved if you’d help him a little.”

“Sure…”, grumbled Ronald. He sat down besides Grell, who for once was deep in her text, as she would play Helena in a few minutes. Othello, as always, read a science book instead of his lines. William had tried to parent him to leave science out of theatre club, but even he couldn’t manage that.

“Where are the missing guys anyway? We need two more people, right?”, Ronald looked around.

“Eric is still on the field, he will join us next week”, murmured Alan with red ears. “And Adrian should come in a few minutes, I think he had to return something to the library.”

Apparently, Adrian was the new guy. Ronald was mildly annoyed that his tardiness was a problem to William, but Adrian’s seemed ok. Whatever, he probably would fail at the text anyway, and William might kick him out after a few weeks.

“Hi, sorry for being late, there was a rather long queue at the library”, Ronald turned around in his chair, and his eyes widened.

Adrian looked like the typical theatre person with his black piercings, mostly black clothes, and the thigh-high leather boots. But his long, white hair and the fact that he was just freaking tall made him look exotic. His smile was cocky, but charming, at least Ronald couldn’t deny that.

“No problem…I’m glad you made it. We were just about to try the first scenes”, William said in his usual stiff manner.

Grell looked up from her script, Alan side-eyed Will, and even Othello’s eyebrows disappeared behind his unruly black mane. What was this about?

Ronald frowned. Was there a hint of red coloring the usual stoic boy’s cheeks?

Grell opened her mouth to definitely comment on this unexpected turn, but William held out his hand. “Let’s begin. We’re already behind the schedule.”

Alan nodded. “Alright – I’d say we first test the chemistry between the couples, today that would be William as Demetrius and Grell as Helena, and then Ron as Titania and you, Adrian, as Oberon.”

Adrian grinned at Ronald. “Oh, you’re playing Titania? I would’ve given you Puck, I think.”

“That role’s already taken”, retorted Othello from the side.

While Grell and William went on stage to perform a first scene under Alan’s supervision, Ronald fully turned to Adrian who had sat down across from him, his underarms leaning on the back of his chair.

“FYI, last week I still had Oberon’s part. I hope you learned your text at least”, usually the blonde wasn’t that easily upset, but the fact that this guy just stole his role and was apparently able to get some emotion out of William was too much right now. Both things he had taken from Ronald, at least it felt like it.

“Don’t worry, dear Titania, I remember it just fine.”, he grinned at Ronald. His teeth were even and white. Ronald wasn’t sure if he’d get along with this guy, even if he had the reputation to get along with everyone. “Wanna go through the first scene together?”

Ronald frowned. “Considering that William said I’ll play Titania a few minutes ago, I hardly know my lines. I’m sure they want to make a test later if we fit together, but let’s try next week.”

“Pity…”, Adrian sighed and played with the black piercing in his earlobe. “But you still go around and interrogate folk about learning their part, eh?”

Ronald decided that he hated him.

~*~*~*~

“Right…Ronald, Adrian, you next!”, Alan said, his eyes searching for the two. While Ronald seemed to be stuck with his phone (but was still there despite the incident), Adrian read another book. Not Shakespeare, but something he fished out of his pocket.

Ronald tried to secretly read the title when the other put it away before standing up. Some kind of philosophy?

They went on the stage, Ronald with the script in his hand, and Adrian without. Of course.

“It’s fine, Ronnie”, Alan said soothingly when William frowned. “I’m happy you’re still here. Sorry again for the chaos. We just want to know if these roles will work.”

Ronald and Adrian went to opposite sides of the wooden stage, only to ‘enter’ again.

“I’ll met by moonlight, proud Titania”, exclaimed Adrian.

“What, jealous Oberon? Fairies, move along. I’m not joining you in bed again, I despise your very sight”, Ronald read from the paper. Maybe this role would fit better than he thought, after all.

“Oh my…am I not your lord?”, Adrian grinned at him again. They stood directly before each other now.

“If I’m your lady. But I’m not, right? You went to Phillida, taking mistresses again, human mistresses even, adulterous lecher!”, Ronald pushed lightly against Adrian’s chest, following the script’s order. Adrian didn’t move an inch.

“Ronald, you have to push harder”, William commented.

Ronald cleared his throat. “Alright.”

This time, he punched his hand so hard he dared without hurting Adrian (because even if he didn’t like the dude, he wasn’t a violent person).

Adrian didn’t move an inch.

“Oh dear”, he said, grinning. “Come on, you can do better.”

Ronald pushed again.

“Harder, Ronnie”, his grin turned even wider when Ronald’s cheeks turned a faint red. That bastard, as if he didn’t get the innuendo.

“If you weren’t such a tree of a person, maybe this would work”, he gritted through his teeth.

“You have an issue with my height? Or rather self-conscious because of yours?”

“Shut up, asshole.”

This time, he punched him so hard in the chest that Adrian almost tripped over his feet, forced to step a meter backwards.

“Good job.”, Alan commented and noted something on his paper. “I think this will work.”

“Really?”, muttered Ronald, but was glad that it was over and at least he could sit down again.

Chapter Text

The weeks flew by, as they were all occupied by the beginning of their courses. When they met for theatre club, it was usually still learning text, trying a few scenes, and venting about the hard topics of their degree (mainly Grell and Ronald).

But today, Ronald had an appointment with Adrian in one of the learning rooms of the library to go through their scenes. As he entered the library, he spotted William on his usual place (it wasn’t Will’s place officially, but he occupied it basically 24/7 and everyone who dared to take it didn’t make it long in the library, which was William’s natural habitat. But that’s a whole other story about William’s hidden unhingedness, which Ronald felt drawn to).

The black-haired student seemed to be absorbed in his tasks. He studied math, which meant he had to turn in weekly assignments or could put the work for an entire term in the trash. Ronald was glad that his degree in English and Philosophy for teaching was much easier. At least not many numbers in that. Even if Ronald wanted to go to William and speak to him, maybe ask him if he wanted to grab a coffee with him later, he didn’t dare to.

He went to the left where the separate study rooms were located, and spotted Adrian through one of the windows. His long white hair was tied up in a ponytail, and to his surprise, a pair of thin, black glasses sat on his nose as he read a book for his course. He leaned slightly back in his chair, one boot against another chair, and played with his braid. He looked completely different, so absorbed in his task.

When Ronald opened the door, he looked up. “Oh, hey Ronnie.”, Adrian smiled and put a pink marker in his book before closing it.

“What’re you reading?”, the blonde asked while putting down his stuff and sitting across from him.

“Kant, for the ethics course. You’re in it as well, aren’t you? I saw you there a few weeks ago I think”, he tapped lightly against his chin with a black fingernail.

“Yeah…I don’t know. Sometimes I think I should switch to another subject, like sports.”

“Why don’t you?”

“Well…although I like to watch sports and occasionally play football or something, I don’t want to commit to this torture like Eric. That’s too much.”, he laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his head. “Anyway…let’s get on with this, okay?”

Adrian pulled the theatre folder out of his backpack and opened the first scene with Oberon and Titania. “Are you still mad at me for taking your role?”, he asked, feigning nonchalance, but Ronald had the feeling that he eyed at him from under the white bangs which covered his eyes nearly all the time.

Ronald gulped. Although he didn’t make a secret out of his contempt, he tried to forget it and throw himself into Titania’s role. He rarely held grudges. “Well, to be honest, at first I wasn’t that thrilled…I mean, I learned the lines really hard in the first week so that we can move on fast, and then they took it away from me as if it was nothing.”, he realized that he talked himself into a little rage and took a deep breath. Then he smiled at the other man. “But now it’s fine. Titania is a great role as well.”

“Willy’s kinda strict, isn’t he? I was surprised y’all put up with him.”

“Will’s a great person! He’s dedicated and ambitious, and while he can be tyrannic at times, he’s a genius and brilliant at writing. We’re all happy that he still directs the theatre club despite our chaos, to be honest.”, Ronald defended the raven-haired student quickly. He felt Adrian’s gaze on him and had the hunch that the latter had realized something.

“I’m glad”, the white-haired male said after a few moments of silence. “I feared you would despise me after that day.”

“No, I…”, Ronald was at a loss for words as Adrian looked up, his bangs parting and revealing one of his stunning green eyes. “It’s fine. Really.”, he coughed and hoped that the other wouldn’t notice his suddenly hot cheeks. “Let’s just get into the first scene.”

They practiced all afternoon, even acted out a few scenes in which Adrian came incredibly close to Ronald, and the blonde dearly hoped that the white-haired male couldn’t feel his fast-beating heart when he laid a hand on his chest one time.

When Ronald looked up and glanced at the window, he was surprised to see it was dark. “What time is it?”, he frowned and looked at his phone. “7 p.m.?!”

Adrian chuckled. “Let’s call it a day. My head is so full now and my stomach is empty – wanna get some takeout on the way to the dorms?”, he stretched in his chair, and Ronald tried to not admire his pale but strong-looking arms. At one point he had taken off his leather jacket so that he only wore a white shirt, and he had rolled the sleeves up.

Adrian was admirable, but Ronald suddenly felt a sting when he realized that Will might think that too. Hell, everyone with eyes would see that he was stunning. How could he keep up with that?

When Adrian looked at him expectantly, his thin white eyebrows raised, the blonde nodded hastily while packing his things together. “Sure, why not. There’s a little shop at the corner that sells amazing pizza.”

“Sounds great.”, Adrian stood up, threw his black backpack over his shoulder, and opened the door for Ronald. “After you.”, he bowed lightly and smirked at him.

“You’re weird, you know that right”, Ronald murmured, but nonetheless obliged.

When he stepped into the main room of the library, he felt the other immediately behind him, and couldn’t help but flinch when he felt him whispering in his ear. “Ronnie, you didn’t even see the beginning of my weirdness”. Then he straightened up again and returned to his normal voice. “Shall we?”, he smiled innocently.

Ronald gulped, second time this day. He wasn’t sure if this guy wouldn’t be the end of him.

~*~*~*~

As they stood in front of the dormitory, Adrian seemed to hesitate, but then he opened his mouth again just when Ronald wanted to say goodbye. “Do you want to watch a movie while eating these pizzas? I just got the old Tarantino ones on DVD.”

Ronald thought about it, but then he shrugged quickly. “Sure, why not?” His roommate would be with his girlfriend like he was 99% of the time, so he would have sat alone on their couch and watch some TV anyway.

He followed Adrian to his room, which was located in a far corner of the building on the third floor. “Man, who gave you that room? That’s unlucky.”, Ronald chuckled. He held their pizza boxes while Adrian opened the door.

“I’m glad they had a free room left, and at least it’s a single apartment. Even though it gets lonely sometimes, I prefer my own space.”

His apartment consisted of the main room that every apartment in the building had, a small kitchenette on the left and a door to probably the bathroom on the right. Across from him, a glass door revealed part of a balcony, and in front of the large window next to it stood a cosy, patched-up couch with a TV. A little wooden paravent gave the single bed on the left more privacy.

But what stood out most were the books. They were everywhere. A small wardrobe seemed to contain Adrian’s clothes, because every other spot was occupied by books. The shelves would burst soon, little unsteady-looking towers made the room a parkour, and Ronald wouldn’t be surprised if the bathroom looked like that as well.

Carefully, he made his way through the book towers to sit on the couch after taking off his shoes. “Alright, which ones do you have?”

Adrian opened a small drawer under the TV and took four DVDs out. “Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill Vol. 1 and Vol. 2, Django Unchained and of course – Pulp Fiction”.

The blonde opened the pizza boxes and placed them on the small table in front of the couch.

“Pulp Fiction? Haven’t seen it in years, but I remember it’s great.”

“Pulp Fiction it is.”, Adrian got them two cokes out of his fridge and slouched on the spot next to him.

The movie began.

When the legendary dance scene came, Ronald devoured the last piece of his pizza and grinned. “Man, that looks fun. Someday I wanna learn that dance.”

“You haven’t danced so far in your theatre career?”, Adrian slurped his coke, one foot propped up on the couch. He had taken off his shoes too, and Ronald noticed that his socks had a little dinosaur-pattern.

“No, not yet. One time we almost had to learn waltz for a scene, but then Alan and Will decided to cut it out as we just were incredibly untalented. Except Grell, of course.”

“You know, I actually learned that dance.”, the other grinned at him.

“Why?”, Ronald couldn’t help but grin as well.

“I was a bored teenager.”

Ronald chuckled. “I’m surprised you weren’t on an elite dance school, mastering every dance. You seem so skilled in everything. It’s a little annoying.”, he shut his betraying mouth before revealing more. His tendency to sleep way too little, combined with the sugar and caffeine rush, didn’t do him any good.  

“Do I?”, Adrian suddenly leaned forward, frowning. “I didn’t intend to.”

“I mean…it’s not that bad.”, Shut up Ronald. “Sorry, didn’t want to upset you. I didn’t mean it in a bad way, really!”, he tried to reassure. “Sometimes my mouth runs away.”

“O.k.”, Adrian smiled. Then he extended his hand to Ronald, who looked at it puzzled.

“Do you give me the honor to have this dance with you, dear Titania?”

“S…sure”, Ronald replied, and laid his hand in the other’s.

They had to stay close together with all the book towers in there, but Adrian still managed to show Ronald the basic steps.

“One...two…three…four”, he repeated the steps in the other direction, “and now five…six…seven…eight.” Ronald tried to follow his directions, and after about ten minutes, they danced together.

“I think I got it!”, Ronald exclaimed and laughed. Last time he tried to dance with direct orders (from William), it was just a disaster. Maybe it was different because he wasn’t as nervous here, he felt like he could be more carefree with Adrian despite being intimidated by him sometimes.

As Ronald slowly began to feel exhausted, he let himself fall onto the couch again. “That was fun!”, he panted. “But now I’ve done enough learning for today.”, he closed his eyes and felt Adrian sitting down beside him, panting as well.

“Maybe William and Alan let us slip this little performance in the play, eh?”, the white-haired male chuckled.

Ronald laughed too. “But then I have to practice a lot more I’m afraid.”

“We’ll have enough time until the show airs, and I like to think of myself as a rather patient teacher.”

“Are you serious?”, Ronald opened his eyes and glanced at Adrian. “You really wanna sneak the Pulp Fiction dance in a Shakespeare play?”

“We could ask”, Adrian replied and shrugged.

“You don’t know Will…he’ll rip your head off at this suggestion.”

“I’ll try.”, Adrian’s grin turned into a gentle smile. “As long as you’re o.k. with it.”

Ronald looked at him, partly stunned. “Alright…but don’t drag me into it if William goes mental.”

~*~*~*~

On the end of their next meeting, Adrian joined Will and Alan on the front row while Grell and Othello left the hall, sitting behind them and leaning his arms on their backrest. “I had an idea. Maybe it sounds crazy at first, but I thought I’ll ask at least.”

Ronald sat on the stage and watched anxiously while Adrian explained the idea. Not that he was scared of William, but deep down he always had the nagging feeling that William despised him, only tolerated him because, well, not many people could get along with his style of directing and he needed actors. He wanted William to like him. And maybe more. At the beginning of joining the theatre club in his first year at university, he even thought about asking William out someday (on the other hand, in his first year he did more partying, drinking and meeting/’meeting’ new people that anything else). But he never knew how to approach the stoic older man. He witnessed the controlling, sometimes raging side of him when they wouldn’t follow his directions or didn’t act like he probably imagined the scene in his head. Despite William’s difficult personality, they all liked him. He was surprisingly generous with his learning material and scripts and was incredibly smart. If you had a question about your subject, the chance was high that William would be able to explain it to you, even if he himself had to dive in into the topic at first.

But in theatre club, he sometimes was borderline tyrannic if you came with ‘preposterous’ suggestions.

Which is why Ronald raised his eyebrows in surprise, and even Alan looked taken aback when William just replied with “I’ll think about it”, corrected his glasses with two fingers and avoided Adrian’s gaze.

“Ah that’s great, Willy, I knew you weren’t as stuck up as Ronald thought you were”, he patted him on the shoulder – William flinched – and stood up, grinning at Ronald, and giving him a thumps-up.

He left the hall in big steps, and Ronald hurried behind him. When they stood in front of the building, the blonde grabbed his arm and turned him around. “What the fuck?!”, he scowled.

Adrian’s gaze was unreadable. “What do you mean?”

“Well thank you very much, now Will hates me even more than he already does!”, Ronald practically shouted. “That’s just great.”

“Why do you think he hates you?”

“It’s obvious! He never talks to me alone, he avoids looking at me, and when I say something in the group, he ignores it”.

When the other didn’t react, Ronald just gesticulated outrageously. “Well?!”

Adrian breathed in, breathed out. He didn’t look at Ronald but seemed to be focused on the pale blue flowers that covered the grass. The blonde just heard his rapid breathing, and the faint splashing of rain that would soon cover them both. Damn him, he forgot his umbrella every time.

Adrian suddenly looked up again. “Do you have a crush on him?”, his gaze fixed Ronald.

“What?”, Ronald replied exasperated. “That’s none of your business!”

“So you do.”, his gaze wandered to the flowers again, and his hands were crossed behind his back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to throw you under the bus. But I don’t think he hates you – rather the opposite.”, he smiled at Ronald, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I honestly think he likes you, and it scares him, and he doesn’t know what to do, so he avoids you instead, and his feelings, so to speak.”

When Ronald didn’t reply, he stretched out a hand and looked up in the darkening sky. “Maybe we should head home. The rain will start soon. Goodbye, Ronald.”

Ronald stared at his back, covered by the black coat and his long, white hair that was always tied up with a black bow. He didn’t realize the raindrops at first, only when one hit his eye directly. He turned his head down and hastily wiped it away. When he looked up again, Adrian was gone.

Chapter Text

The week before Christmas, Grell handed them out invitations after their last rehearsal before the holidays. They were pink, with deep-red bows and a lipstick kiss (a real one according to Grell!), and the rose paper was sprinkled with glitter. Her birthday was on December 19^th.

“Did you invite half of the campus again?”, Ronald asked.

“That was one time, Ronnie!”, Grell retorted. “How long do you want to dwell on it?”

“It was certainly unforgettable”, chuckled Alan. “We had to use the lawn from the dorms as well, because their apartment was just too crowded even for a drunk-ass party.”, he explained to Adrian. “And everything was frozen. Man, I don’t know who wasn’t sick the week after it.”

“Oh I know!”, Grell laid her arms around William who immediately shrugged her off. “You have no excuses this time. You come to my party, or God help me, I’ll drag you out of your fancy dorm and pour pure alcohol in your mouth till you relax.”

The black-haired student shuddered. “Leave me alone with your shenanigans”, he muttered and fixed his glasses. “But if you must know I indeed decided to come this time.”

“Wonderful!”, exclaimed the redhead and grinned. “Don’t forget to bring presents!”

Ronald rolled his eyes and chuckled fondly. “Of course not.”

~*~*~*~

Ronald arrived late, as always. When he opened the door to Grell’s dorm room, the scent of alcohol, musty young adults, sweat, perfume and smoke hit him in the face like a brick wall.

Thankfully, Grell had toned it down this time regarding the guests. There were about twenty to twenty-five people. Ronald recognized some fellow students from Grell’s degree, Eric from the sports team (who was Alan’s not-so-secret boyfriend), and of course the theatre people.

“Ronnie!!”, Grell hugged him tightly, her breath already smelling of sweet alcohol. “You’re finally here! Grab a drink!”

Ronald put his present on the side table to the others and joined Alan and Eric on the couch with a beer. He noticed William sitting in a corner, looking out of place in his neat, formal clothes, and to his surprise (or rather not) Adrian standing next to him, leaned against a wall, and currently gesticulating to emphasize his point. Apparently, they were already in a deep conversation. Ronald emptied his beer fast and thought about getting shots directly.

“They get along well”, Alan remarked, following his gaze. Ronald shrugged and looked away.

“Yeah, maybe…”, he grabbed a shot from the table.

“I mean, no wonder, they’re both very smart and have similar interests. They seem so…sophisticated.”

“If you say so”, Ronald replied. He came here to forget his complicated feelings, to celebrate one of his best friends and have a great night.

Suddenly, he felt Alan’s hand on his arm. “Ronald, I’m sorry.”

“What for?”, Ronald looked surprised.

“Well…I know you have that crush on Will for a rather long time now, I didn’t want to spoil your mood. But I don’t think they like each other that way.”

Ronald felt his cheeks redden. Had he been that obvious?

“Don’t worry”, Alan reassured him as if he read his thoughts. “I’m just a good observer. Will doesn’t know it. He’s smart in many ways, but with people he’s a bit…dense.”

“Yeah, I know”, the blonde laughed half heartily. “But that doesn’t make it any easier.”

“And what about Adrian?”, Alan inquired, side eyeing him while getting a shot as well.

“What about him?”

“I thought you two were getting rather close over the last months. You know, your roles, your practicing, and you even danced together apparently.”

“We’re…friends”, Ronald defended himself. “Although I…”, he sighed. But he was so tired of keeping it all in, and Alan was a good listener as always. “First, he took the role from me, and now he might even take Will. Not that I had Will anyway, but still. Doesn’t feel good at all.”

“Hm”, Alan leaned against Eric who was in a deep conversation with another guy on the other side, but absentmindedly stroked Alan’s hand while talking. Ronald smiled at his friend. He was truly grateful that they found each other, despite the drama at the beginning.

“Why does he take William away?”

“They just fit together, Alan. Look at them. They both read a ton, they’re incredibly smart, and incredibly good-looking. I won’t have a chance at Will. I think he just wants to be alone. Maybe it’s time for me to move on.”

Alan looked at him warily, as if he knew something that Ronald didn’t. But before he could ask him about it, Grell exclaimed it was now time for shots and dancing. And after all, that’s what Ronald came for.

~*~*~*~

A couple of hours later, nearly everyone was completely drunk. Some people headed home or in their respective dorm rooms, but the theatre group laid spread out on the couch and the floor, giggling about nothing, and resting.

Ronald was glad about the open windows, and he closed his eyes as a cold breeze stroked over his face. He laid on the floor next to Grell who laughed about a (accidentally) dirty remark from William. The latter had even drunk two beers, and now his face was flushed, and he had opened the first button of his shirt. Scandalous. Ronald caught Grell glancing at Will (not so subtly), himself of course (hopefully more subtly), and to his dismay Adrian (surprisingly subtly).

“Let’s play a game!”, Grell exclaimed, pushed herself off the floor and grabbed an empty bottle.

“No!”, came the immediate reply from Will.

“Yes! It’s my birthday, you can’t say no.”

William groaned. “Fine. But no kissing and inappropriate touching.”

“Oh please, Will…that’s no fun”, Grell pouted. “Fine. You don’t have to kiss or touch someone.”

They sat in a circle on the floor, the bottle between them. “Truth or Dare, or only Dare?”

“Both”, Grell grinned. “I want to know your dirty little secrets!”

She grabbed the bottle. “Who the bottle lands on has to describe their first kiss to us!”, she spun the bottle so hard it rotated over the floor, poking Ronald’s knee and landing on Eric.

“Well…it was behind my high school, one of the cheerleaders. We smoked, and she asked me if I had kissed before. When I said no, she told me she would show me how it’s done.”

“Romantic”, Othello remarked dryly. Eric just shrugged.

“What’s important now that I have my perfect person for all the kisses”, he smiled at Alan and gave him a peck on the nose.

“Awww”, Grell said dreamily. “You’re so perfect! Why can’t I have that?”

“One day you will”, Eric reassured her, then he grabbed the bottle. “Who the bottle lands on has to shout something obscene over the campus.”

It landed on Othello who cited something from another play that they were sure that the campus police would throw them out for right on the spot.

Over the next few rounds, Ronald learned that Eric wasn’t Alan’s first boyfriend as they all had suspected, that Othello was asexual, and Grell wanted to have sex with a woman someday. Adrian had to eat a full spoon of tabasco (which he did without flinching), and William had to let Ronald draw a heart on his cheek (which he endured with his stoic expression, although the red cheeks faltered the impression a little).

“We are boring!”, sighed Grell. “Alright, next one has to do seven minutes in heaven in my closet.”

She grabbed the bottle, but Alan stopped her. “So they have to go in your wardrobe alone? Or do you wanna spin two times?”

“Hm…”, Grell touched her chin in thought. “I’ll spin two times. That makes it more…evil”, with her maniac signature-grin, she spun the bottle. It landed on Ronald.

“Alright…who’s with me?”, he stood up in advance, stretching his limbs from the long time sitting on the floor. Secretly, his drunken brain hoped for William, of course. Although another traitorous part told him that Adrian wouldn’t be that bad either…

It was Adrian.

When Ronald looked into his face, he seemed to pale, the flush in his cheeks disappearing. “Well”, he murmured and stood up, a little unsteady, Othello had to support his arm.

“More drunk than you thought, eh?”, Eric remarked, and Adrian let out an uneasy chuckle.

They stepped in front of the wardrobe.

Grell hold up a red-manicured finger. “No sex in my wardrobe! You can kiss and make out, but if I find any body fluids, I’ll rip your pretty little throats out.”

“Don’t worry, Grell”, Ronald rolled his eyes. “We’ll just stand there awkwardly for seven minutes.”

The doors closed between them. Ronald was pressed against Grell’s clothes, and he tried not to trip on the shoes and bags cluttering the floor. It was a rather big wardrobe, but fully stacked as well. He felt Adrian directly in front of him, they stood chest to chest. That’s why he immediately noticed the taller guy’s rapid breathing.

“You o.k. there?”, he whispered. Their friends outside were probably eavesdropping, and he didn’t want to give them any speculations.

“Sure”, Adrian replied, but there was tension in his voice.

“It’s just me.”, Ronald tried to calm him down. “I won’t do anything you don’t want to. And it is kinda cozy in here, isn’t it?”

“Cozy?”, Adrian’s uneven voice betrayed him almost fully.

“Sorry, maybe not the best wording. What’s the matter with you? You’re not claustrophobic, are you?”

“What a perceptive fellow you are”, Adrian breathed out, he tried to relax, but Ronald could feel his fingers fidgeting.

“You know we can just get out, right? No one’s gonna pressure you.”

“But they’ll talk.”

“Maybe, and? Didn’t think you would be bothered by that.”

“Well…I don’t want to ruin the first friendships I got in a very long time. It’s just a silly party game.”

Ronald sighed, then he reached out in the dark for the white-haired man’s hands. They were bigger than his, with slender, elegant fingers, and the skin was surprisingly soft. He added gentle pressure, hoping that it would help.

“Maybe some distraction might help?”, Ronald suggested.

Adrian laughed briefly. “Seven minutes in heaven, eh? Remember not to leave any body fluids.”

“No no, I didn’t mean it like that”, Ronald was glad for the darkness to hide his blushing face. “I don’t think you’re in the mood for that right now. But maybe, I don’t know, tell me something about you? A story? Or we could go through one of the Midsummer scenes?”

“Well, Ronnie…what do you want to know?”, Adrian repeated the blonde’s gesture and pressed his hands gently.

Ronald hesitated, but his drunken brain told him that the following would be a great opportunity to use. “What’s going on between you and Will?”, he hoped that his voice sounded casual enough not to give anything away.

“What do you mean?”, Adrian replied, certainly surprised by the question.

“Come on, you know what I mean.”

“Are you jealous?”, Ronald could hear the grin in his voice. He was glad that the other seemed to relax a little, but now he screwed himself.

“Jealous of whom?”, he replied, feigning ignorance.

Adrian sighed. “Don’t worry, Ronald – Will and I have similar academic interests which give stuff for deep conversations, but nothing more. I’m not trying to steal him from you.”

“That’s…not what I meant.”, Ronald frowned when he realized that indeed he didn’t feel that jealous at the moment. Weird. Probably from too much alcohol in the last few hours.

“Well, if Will’s out of the question, do you have someone else that caught your interest on campus?”, he tried to change the subject he definitely wasn’t in the stage to discuss.

“Should I?”

“You’re dodging my questions. That’s not how this works, Adrian.”

“I’m just a really mysterious person, Ronald.”

“Sure you are. Keep your secrets then, mysterious man.”

Adrian chuckled. “Do you really wanna know or are you just asking for the sake of it?”

“I’m asking because you’re my friend, and I’m interested in your life.”, Adrian had stopped fidgeting his hands, and now they were just holding them.

“Oh, you’re my friend now? I got the impression you barely tolerated me at first.”

“Oh, shut up. You know that that’s not true anymore.”

“But it was!”

“…Yeah.”, Ronald sighed, defeated.

“Because of Will?”

Ronald seriously thought of adapting Grell’s warning and ripping Adrian’s throat out right here and then. “Boy, you’re exhausting sometimes.”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you changing the topic before.”, Adrian let go of one hand, and a moment later Ronald felt a boop on his nose that was just slightly off. “You have a crush on Will. Admit it.”

Ronald opened his mouth to retort something, but suddenly Grell ripped the doors of the wardrobe open, and the two students were blinded by light.

“Seven minutes are over!”, Grell’s face fell when she inspected them. “You’re completely clothed!”

“What did you expect?”, Ronald replied, exasperated. “I’m not that easy, Grell.”

“Oh, but I remember my last birthday when you-“, the blonde jumped out of the wardrobe and shut the redhead up. “No more talking. We should drink some more now.”

Grell grabbed his hand that was clapped over her mouth and turned it over, causing Ronald to yelp. “You’re right, honey. But don’t ever shut me up like that again.”

They gathered together for some more drinking and late-night/early-morning talking. Eric soon fell asleep on Alan’s chest and William and Othello had left to their rooms. Grell and Ronald were in a deep conversation about the newest action movie they wanted to see, discussing the plot they expected.

When Grell finally got up with a pat on Ronald’s shoulder, wishing him a good night (she never had an issue with people sleeping over, as long as they helped cleaning up the next day) and went to bed, Ronald looked around. Alan and Eric had taken the couch, and Grell put a blanket over them before heading to her bed. He had brought a sleep mattress, knowing he probably would sleep over, but he didn’t expect Adrian to sleep on one of the armchairs in a corner. Grell had put a spare blanket over him as well, and his white hair was cascading on the floor. He would probably wake up with a sore in this position, so Ronald pondered of waking him up. On the other hand, it would be only a few more hours, and they were wasted anyway. He pulled out his sleep equipment and went to bed.

Because of the cramped space, he laid next to Adrian, his hand thirty centimeters near Ronald’s face (because he didn’t want to put his feet next to him). Ronald was too tired to dwell on it, he just fell into an alcohol-induced, exhausted sleep.

Chapter Text

The group spent the two weeks of Christmas holiday apart. Ronald and Grell took a train home together because they grew up in the same town, William flew home, Alan joined Eric at his parents this year, and Othello and Adrian did God knows what. They didn’t share their Christmas plans (Othello never did).

On the first rehearsal in the new year, Grell brought the first draft of costumes she crafted between the years. She was always insisting on making them, and William always reminded her sternly to keep it down. But this year, at least the faerie costumes were predestined to be designed by the redhead.

“I can’t wait to see you in the Titania dress, Ronald!”, she exclaimed. “I think it’s my best piece so far.”

“Now I’m intrigued”, grinned Ronald. He was nervous; while he didn’t have a problem wearing a dress as a guy, he feared that he would look ridiculous in a flamboyant dress made by Grell. He liked his sporty, black style of clothing and felt comfortable in it. In the last plays, he always played men who wore plain clothing.

Grell handed the costumes out. “Be careful with the needles, and don’t alter anything or it won’t fit afterwards”, she warned.

As the only lady, she went behind the curtains to change. “Don’t you dare peek!”

Eric and William had it relatively easy, and even Alan’s dress was simple enough to just put it on over the head.

But Ronald, now only dressed in a white undershirt and his pants, stood overwhelmed in front of a mass of tulle and petticoat. It was turquoise and shiny, with little sprinkles of glitter. He carefully picked one end up and inspected it from different sides. Where was the top end?

“Do you need help?”, he looked up, only to see directly into Adrian’s eyes. He wore a dark blue robe with a very deep V-neckline, Ronald noticed, alarmed. It ended in the middle of his chest, and Ronald could see all the white, slightly muscular skin above it.

“Uhm…actually…”, he stuttered, ripping his eyes up again. But Adrian’s gaze told him that the latter already noticed him staring. He quickly looked away. “Maybe I’ll just ask Grell for help”.

“No problem, I think you just have to start with the petticoat”, Adrian grabbed around him and picked the piece up. “Probably without the pants? Otherwise, it’ll be too wide on the hips later”.

“If you wanna get me out of my pants, just ask”, Ronald winked, although his heart was beating fast. He had decided to just act around Adrian like he would with anyone else, and he was a flirtatious person after all. Hopefully, that won’t fire back.

Adrian’s eyes were unreadable. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He handed him the petticoat, the topside outstretched. While Ronald strapped out of his pants and put the coat on, the white-haired male tried to figure out the rest of the garment.

“This must be the hole for your head I think…because these look like sleeves.”

Ronald grabbed the other end and pulled it carefully over his head; Adrian guided his arms through the sleeves. Finally, the blonde’s head reappeared, and he plucked the fabric to smooth it out. Adrian’s hands glided over it as well, and he adjusted it here and there. Ronald tried to not think so hard about the large hands with the slim fingers touching him in an oddly sensual way. It couldn’t be his imagination only, surely Adrian was behaving weird in an objective way?!

“How do I look?”, he finally asked and looked down. A cascade of turquoise, silver and glitter poured out before him; but it fit together. He stepped in front of the mirror and his mouth opened in surprise. This looked amazing!

“You’re a genius, Grell!”, he yelled to the redhead still behind the curtains.

“I know, Ronnie!”

“A very beautiful Titania indeed”, Adrian smiled at him, and Ronald couldn’t help but smile back.

Chapter Text

A few weeks later, Ronald and Grell threw a surprise party for Alan’s birthday. They used her apartment as a location and over-invited again since the space was too crowded now. People were dancing in front of the building, chatting with their friends over the windows. Almost everyone was drunk, and Ronald had already had shots with all his friends before falling down on the couch, exhausted from two hours of dancing.

“Man”, he sighed, “that was awesome.”

Othello, sitting next to him with his nose in a science book, nodded. “Awesome indeed.”

“You’re reading now? What the fuck, Othello?”, Ronald exclaimed, half outraged.

“Just a little relaxing time. Socializing is hard.”

“Sure, nerd.”, he nudged the shorter guy’s shoulder. “You’re weird.”

“If you say so.”

The blonde just snorted and put an arm around his friend. He really liked him, even if he was scared by him sometimes.

His eyes wandered around the room, taking in all the people drinking, snacking on left-over pizzas and chips all over the place, and couples making out. He grinned. “We did a great job with this party.”

“Hm-hm”, made Othello, clearly absorbed in physics.

Ronald’s gaze suddenly came to a halt when he spotted Will, standing in a corner, and a really tall, really bulky guy towering over him. He frowned. What was going on there?

“Excuse me”, he muttered to the other before standing up and quickly heading over to his friend, grabbing the left shoulder of the strange guy. “Who are you?”

The latter turned around and looked down on him. “What do you want, kiddo?”

“That’s my friend Ronald. He’s in my theatre club.”, William explained. He appeared calm, but then, he always did. Ronald couldn’t believe him being openly scared or showing any other emotion except anger.

The tall guy looked at Ron expectantly. When the blonde didn’t answer, he clasped his shoulder. “He? Spit out what you want to say or get lost.”

“Leave him alone!”

“It’s fine, Ronald. We’re just having a conversation.”, William tried to intervene.

“That your boyfriend?”, bulky guy asked him.

William’s face went beet-red. “Of course not!”

Ronald’s heart shattered to pieces. Was he that unlovable to William? That even someone implying that they were boyfriends was so repulsive to him?

He tried to stutter something, to explain himself, to retort something sarcastic – but his head was truly empty.

To his horror, he realized that someone turned the music down, and people were watching them.

“You alright, Ronnie?!”, Grell shouted from somewhere. “Need help?”

Ronald stood there frozen, he just stared at his friend and felt his cheeks redden as well. Unfortunately, he also felt his eyes burning.

“Then leave us alone, would you?! You got a crush on him or what, creep?!”, the bulky guy stood in front of Will, shielding him from the intruder Ronald. This was just a great evening.

“I’ll go.”, Ronald mumbled and turned away. He felt the eyes of their party guests following him, and someone – probably Grell – squeezing through the drunk mass to follow him.

At least they turned the music back on. And hopefully, this incident would be forgotten in the morning.

He went outside and sat on a bench to take some deep breaths. The chill night air sobered him up; and thankfully, the sky was clear. Ronald looked at the stars.

“Hey.”

The blonde looked up. Now, that was the least person he expected to follow him.

William awkwardly sat down, still maintaining proper distance, his hands laying on his thighs. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine, Will.”, Ronald tried to smile, but he avoided the black-haired man’s eyes, instead eyeing him from the side. “You can go back in; don’t worry. Your friend probably misses you already.” He realized how passive-aggressive that sounded, but he was exhausted.

“He’s not my friend. We just talked.”, William replied. “But apparently, he thought that I was flirting. How he came to that conclusion is beyond me.”

Ronald let out a faint chuckle. “Well, I don’t know. You don’t ever seem to be interested in anyone, to be honest.”

William sighed; he pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “And to be honest too, I am interested. In someone. But I’m not good at this stuff.”, he put his glasses back on and looked at Ronald directly. “I thought, maybe you could help me. As you’re better at…flirting.”

At this confession, Ronald’s heart skipped a beat. Could it be…?!

“Oh, I’m not sure Will, I didn’t have any luck with the person I’m interested in. Maybe I’m not as good at it as my reputation says.”, he winked.

“Well, maybe you have a suggestion, what I could do in my situation?”, William leaned slightly over to Ronald.

The blonde began to smile fully. “Maybe you could leave that to me? I’ll try my best for you”, he whispered and leaned forward as well. He pondered if he should just grab Will and kiss him, but he didn’t know how experienced the other was, and didn’t want to scare him away.

He reached out with his hand and was about to lay it on Will’s cheek, when the black-haired man turned away again and looked into the dark forest at the end of the campus field.

“Really? That’s great to hear, thanks Ronald.”, he seemed nervous; his fingers fidgeted in his lap.

“Well, how much experience do you have? That would be helpful to know.”, the blonde answered after quickly pulling his hand back to himself.

“Not many…”, a faint red appeared on William’s cheeks. “But I want to have something to offer, not be some, some clumsy virgin to him…I think he has plenty of experience and I already have to compete against the others.”

Ronald shook his head and laid a hand on Will’s shoulder, causing him to jump slightly.

“Will…that doesn’t matter if you really like the other person. Past lovers are exactly that, in the past. And frankly, if someone can’t appreciate you for who you are, then you deserve someone better.”

 “You really think so?”, William turned his face to him again. They were now inches apart.

“Yes…”, Ronald answered, his gaze briefly turning to the other’s lips. His head pushed lightly forward.

“That’s good, that’s good”, William breathed, and rubbed his hands over his thighs to calm himself down. “Then I have just one more question.”

“Yes?”, Ronald asked with a smile. He felt the literal butterflies in his stomach. William was so pretty, and intelligent, and even in his shyness there still laid his usual stoicism. He wondered – not for the first time – how soft his hair felt. And now, he was closer to it than ever…

“What do you think would Adrian like to do for a date?”

“What?”

“What?”

The butterflies turned to stones, making his stomach flip upside down and tightening his chest.

Ronald cleared his throat and turned away from William. “What should I suggest for a first date?”, the latter repeated and raised an eyebrow. “Or is that not how one should approach a lover today?”

Ronald just stared at him, his brain doing a restart.

“I…think about it.”, he offered with a tight voice. “I’ll tell you when I got something good.”

“Great, thank you, Ronald.”, William tentatively reached out and patted on his shoulder. “You’re a good friend.”

“Thanks.”, he saluted William awkwardly. The black-haired man stood up. “I’ll go in again, it’s freezing here.”, he stated and turned to the door again. “Don’t stay too long, or you’ll get a cold.”

“Of course.”

He looked after his crush, and he realized that it was over. They wouldn’t be together ever. He breathed out. At least, he knew it now.

~*~*~*~

Ronald woke up with a pounding head. His surroundings were vaguely familiar, but definitely not his dorm room or Grell’s. He tried to sit up, but his dizzy brain quickly put an end to this plan. The blonde closed his eyes again an exhaled exhaustedly, waiting for the world to stop spinning. Where was he?

Second try, he laid still while looking around. He saw the familiar dormitory mobiliary with the single bed and the wooden shelves, fully stacked with books. Books! Next to him, a paravent. He knew this apartment.

Carefully, Ronald sat up and put his feet on the floor. The usual book towers stood loyally around him, even if their material changed from time to time – their owner really read them instead of just being a slob. He peaked over the paravent into the rest of the room: No one there. He listened for noises from the bathroom – nothing. He was alone.

Suddenly, a rather alarming thought occurred to him. He looked down on himself. When he noticed that he didn’t wear his own clothes, but too large ones from someone else, his heart began beating fast. No no no!

Hastily, he got up and searched for the bin, looked around next to the bed. No condom! He was really careful about protection, even when drunk; but if he would have slept with his friend, wouldn’t there be an unambiguous sign of it now here?

At that moment, he heard the key turning in the door, and Adrian stepped into his apartment.

“Oh, you’re awake”, he smiled at him and went to the kitchenette. “I bought a few buns for breakfast.”

He put them into a bowl and set it on the living room table, then got some jam and peanut butter as well as a knife while Ronald still stood by the bed, dumbfounded. What was going on?

He decided to clear his most urgent thought first.

“Adrian…”, he cleared his sore throat. “Did we…I mean…I didn’t find a condom, and now I’m worried that-“

“Gods, no!”, the white-haired male interrupted him immediately. “Do you think I would have taken advantage of you in that state?”

“What state?”, this wasn’t his first hangover, but he was pretty good at holding his alcohol. And he never drank so much he wouldn’t be in a state where someone could take advantage of him.

At that, Adrian halted in his preparations and fixated Ronald. “You don’t remember?”

“No?”, Ronald slowly came around and stood next to the couch, frowning. “What happened?”

“Maybe you want to eat something first”, the other offered instead and sat down on his couch. When Ronald opened his mouth in protest, he held up his hand. “Trust me. At least a little. You’re still looking totally wasted”.

“And I probably feel even worse”, the blonde remarked, but sat down and grabbed a bun. He didn’t want to upset his stomach, so he ate it plain without servings. Meanwhile, Adrian put so much jam on his bun that Ronald feared he would die from a heart attack in the next minutes, or from sugar overdosing.

“So…how much do you remember?”, Adrian started again and turned towards him, so that he was sitting cross-legged in front of Ronald.

“Well…we were throwing a party for Alan.”

“Yes?”

Ronald frowned. “There was dancing and drinking of course…I sat on Grell’s couch with Othello. He read some science book.”

When the blonde didn’t say more, Adrian tilted his head. “Anything else?”

~ A few hours earlier ~

Ronald pondered if he should just go home. He wasn’t in the mood to party anymore, and it was late anyway. He doubted that anyone would miss him as there were so many people crowded in Grell’s apartment, and about half of them would be wasted by now. He sighed and ran one hand through his hair, messing it up even more.

The blonde decided that he couldn’t stay outside any longer, because as William had pointed out, he would catch a cold. And he already had to deal with a broken heart.

When he went inside to get his jacket, Grell immediately stopped him. “Where are you going?”

“Leaving…it’s late, and I’m tired.”

The redhead raised an eyebrow. “Are you alright, Ronnie?”, she clasped his forehead with one hand, checking the temperature.

“I’m fine, Grell…”, he sighed and smiled at her, but he felt his eyes stinging. He couldn’t play pretend any longer. “I just want to go home, is all.”

“Does that have to do anything with the stunt Will and this guy pulled before?”, she crossed her arms and blocked his way to the door. “I’m worried about you. You’re unusually gloomy and have sad puppy eyes, not the cheeky Ronnie ones.”

“Yes…No…Can’t I be tired once? Even I have to sleep!”, Ronald tried to argue, causing Grell to hold up her hands defensively. “Alright, alright, calm your horses…but I don’t want to leave you alone, to be frank.”

“You can’t leave your own apartment when there’s a party happening, Grell. It’s fine, my room is only five minutes away.”

“Still…”, Grell stood her ground and looked around, holding one of the blonde’s sleeves as if to prevent him from fleeing the scene.

“Ah!”, she exclaimed. “Adrian just wanted to leave as well; he could accompany you.” Ignoring Ronald’s protests, she waved at him and to Ronald’s dismay, he immediately walked over to them.

“Ronald wants to go home too; I think he’s getting ill…maybe you could ensure that he gets home safe?”

“I don’t need a babysitter, Grell!”, the blonde repeated and freed himself from her grip. “I’m leaving now. See you tomorrow.”, he turned around and left the party despite his friend’s protests.

Hands stuck in his pockets, he hurried across the campus. Dark clouds had appeared on the night sky, causing it to be darker than before. The stars seemed to have abandoned him.

He heard someone running behind him, and a few moments later, the inevitable Adrian was next to Ronald. He tried to go a bit faster, but the other only adapted to his speed.

“As I said, I don’t need a babysitter. I’m not sick, just tired.”

“Hm.”, Adrian made. They walked together in silence, but Ronald could feel the gears turning in the white-haired man’s head. As he risked a quick glance towards him, he saw the other biting his lip.

“Did I do something to offend you?”

“Huh?”, Ronald turned towards him. Adrian looked straight forward, his hands behind his back.

“It’s just…I have a feeling that you’re avoiding me, Ronald. I thought that we would be friends now despite a rather…rocky start, but I can’t help but feel rejected by you.”

“Rejected…”, the blonde said bitterly. What an ironic choice of words.

“Just because I want to walk alone or don’t always talk to you at parties, doesn’t mean I don’t like you.”

“That’s not what I meant.”, Adrian sighed. “Ronald, I…”, he fiddled with the braid in his hair. “Just tell me if I’d done something, okay? You can talk to me. About everything.”, at that, he turned towards Ronald at last, his piercing gaze stunning the blonde.

He came to a halt and decided to just get it over with. Even if William will probably rip his throat out for betraying him; but he couldn’t bear it anymore. Whether they became a couple now or not, he had to get closure, otherwise he’d fall apart.

“Will fancies you. He asked me what date you would probably like, asked me for advice.”, he waited for Adrian to react in some way, but his expression remained unreadable. “So…what date would you like?”

The taller man opened his mouth, closed it again. A smile appeared on his lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “You’re mad at me because you feel like I took William from you, am I right?”

He made a step towards Ronald, causing him to take a step back. “I’m sorry.” He half-reached out with his hands, but then let them fall to his sides, looking defeated.

“Nothing to be sorry for”, said the blonde, but he couldn’t even convince himself as he said that. Feelings – love – was complicated. Yes, of course he was jealous, how couldn’t he be?!

“If you want to be angry, scream at me or whatever, just do it. It’d be better than this tense silence between us.”, Adrian stood calm before him, but his long fingers were fiddling, the black nails shimmering in the dim moonlight.

“No…Adrian, I…”, Ronald hesitated. “If you can make William happy, I’m happy that he is. Even if I won’t be that person.”

Adrian lowered his gaze, causing his bangs to hide his eyes. “Yeah, well…I’m afraid I’m not that person either. I think dear Willy sees someone in me I’m just not. It’s endearing, but I – like everyone, I might add – need a partner that loves me for who I am. Not some ideal in his head I can never hope to live up to.”

Ronald frowned, unsure of what to say. “But how do you even know that about him? Maybe you’re underestimating him? He might be a bit dense about relationships, but he’s a really perceptive person.”

“Is he?”, Adrian nearly whispered. Then he straightened again, turning away from Ronald, and walking to their dormitory. “Let’s go home.”

Ronald didn’t know what else to say, so they walked together in silence. When they stopped in front of the building, Adrian hesitatingly spoke again. Ronald felt like he had a Deja-vu.

“To be honest…I don’t want to be alone right now. Fancy a night cap at my apartment?”

The blonde almost declined the offer, but he had a nagging feeling in his gut that this was an important moment that could lead to an impactful conversation as it was the nature of late-night talk. And although the white-haired student tried to appear nonchalant, underneath this attitude Ronald could almost hear the plead in his voice.

“Sure.”, he shrugged and followed him.

They sat in his dark apartment, only the dim lamp next to Adrian’s bed enlightened the room. Ronald placed himself on the couch, and after Adrian had made them two drinks, he slouched down beside him, his feet planted on the couch, one arm propped up on the backrest, his hand laying on his cheek, and his head supported in it.  

He seemed to examine Ronald while sipping on his glass.

“So…”, the blonde broke the silence that seemed to grow tense more and more. “Why these nails?”

Adrian bent his fingers and examined them, then he shrugged. “Why not?”

“They seem impractical, to be honest”, Ronald chuckled. “Why do you keep them so long? Isn’t it annoying you in everyday life?”

“I have gotten used to it.”, the white-haired student replied, then he lightly drummed them on the fabric, watching the black paint shimmering with the motion. “Besides…it’s useful in some situations.”, he winked at Ronald. “Turns out, many people like backscratching, both in a sexual and non-sexual way. I just have to adapt the pressure.”

“Well…”, chuckled the blonde. “I thought that they rather complicate certain…situations, but you do you man.”

“Oh, I don’t need my fingers for that”, Adrian grinned.

“Adrian!”, Ronald called him out, his cheeks turning red. “You’re a pervert, and that’s coming from me!”

The latter just giggled at him, and the blonde could hold his stern expression for only a few seconds before joining in the laughter.

“You’re an idiot!”, he said.

“Idiot and a pervert, but at least I’m creative”, Adrian chuckled while wiping tears from his eyes. “Ah, Ronnie…it’s always funny with you.”

The blonde sobered. “Well, I don’t know…I suppose I wasn’t as fun to be around the last weeks.” He examined his glass, avoiding the other’s gaze.

Adrian tilted his head. “Why do you think that? Besides – not even the happiest person can remain that way all the time. Don’t pressure yourself too much.”

“It’s just…I know Will doesn’t like me that way. But still, I can’t help to be hopeful, that maybe, one day, that will change and…I know it’s stupid. It remained like this for years, and I have to stop.” He sighed. “I really want to let him go; you know? But I don’t know how.”

Something changed in Adrian’s gaze, but Ronald couldn’t pinpoint what it was. He shifted on the couch, straightening up and put his empty glass on the table, and when he leaned against the cushions again, he was closer to the blonde. “So…do you really want to move on? Because it sounds like you’re still ambivalent.”

“I’m not.”, Ronald wiped his eyes, partly hating himself for breaking down again at this. As if his heart just didn’t want to realize that it was impossible. “I can’t wait forever if his feelings change, and I’ve waited long enough now. Would have been easier if you two got together, at least then I could’ve known that he’s taken. That he loves another, and is not just afraid of relationships, or doesn’t know how to flirt, or whatever.”

“Well, I have a proposition.”

“Yeah?”, the blonde looked up, his eyes full of hope. He hadn’t realized how much this was weighing him down, as he had gotten so used to it over the years. But now he could practically feel the burden pressing on his shoulders, the aching in his heart.

Adrian inched closer, his fingertips touching Ronald’s. It dawned upon him what the other had in mind. Wouldn’t that make things even more complicated? On the other hand – maybe it would help? After all, he hadn’t had a fling in ages, and his feelings towards William only deepened in that time. Abstinence didn’t seem to help him.

His fingers crept forward until his hand laid over Adrian’s, lightly grasping it. Adrian’s gaze fell on Ronald’s lips, his snowy lashes partly hiding his striking green eyes. His mouth opened lightly. He moved his head an inch forward, but remained in a small distance from the blonde’s, waiting for him to cross the last line.

A last strike of doubt appeared in Ronald, but he wiped it away. He cupped the other’s cheek with his other hand, moved forward and lightly pressed his lips on Adrian’s. He felt a small gasp escaping the white-haired man, as if he didn’t believe that Ronald would take him up on his offer till the last moment, but then his lips began to move, and they were fully kissing.

And damn, could that man kiss.

Ronald let out a surprised moan when Adrian’s slender hands closed behind his neck, pulling him more towards him, grasping his hair and pulling lightly. He began to follow Adrian’s movements, his kisses got deeper until Ronald obediently opened his mouth and the other’s tongue touched his. Adrian kissed with passion; his actions demanded for submission. But before the situation could move further, he withdrew lightly and ended their encounter with a last peck on the stunned blonde’s lips.

Ronald opened his eyes and stared into Adrian’s face; his sly mouth stretched into a smug grin.

“What?”, the blonde gasped.

“Oh, nothing, just…you’re cute. Enchanted like this.”, he softly stroked Ronald’s hot cheek with the back of his fingers, his long nails cooling the blonde’s skin. “So…I assume this actually helped a bit to take your mind elsewhere?”

“…Definitely.”, he answered after a moment. Sadly, now that Adrian had mentioned it, his thoughts came back. But another one appeared promptly, causing Ronald’s heartbeat to turn faster: He immediately asked himself if Will could kiss as great as Adrian, with the strong feeling that the latter was better at it. Sure, that wasn’t the most important thing, but still he realized that something had changed.

“So…”, the blonde asked after a moment of silence, where Adrian just looked at him and played with his hair, “maybe we could have another drink?”. He didn’t want to go home, and he wasn’t sure what else to do either. Anything else apart from usual late-night drinking was unsafe terrain, something he had to sort out when he had more time to think. A confusing mixture of feelings manifested in him, and he didn’t know what to make of it right now. And, most importantly, while he had some smooching with friends before, he hadn’t ever let it go further than that. One-night stands or casual flings with friends wasn’t his area, it was too confusing.

“Sure.”, Adrian replied and got up to refill their glasses.

After they had a few more drinks, Adrian drifted off to sleep on the couch, leaning against Ronald. His deep, even breaths calmed the blonde, and he couldn’t help but smile at the endearing sight. His felt his head spinning, and he probably should’ve stop drinking now or he would throw up. He reached for the blanket that was draped over the couch and laid it over them as well as he could.

~*~*~*~

Ronald frowned and scratched his head. “I still don’t remember how I ended up in your bed. Without my clothes in particular.”

Adrian bit his lip. “Well, to make it short, an hour later I had woken up and heard you wheezing in the bathroom. You were throwing up. Probably too much alcohol mixed with stress. I washed your face and got you fresh clothes, because yours got some stains as well, and then put you in my bed. Don’t worry, I slept on the couch.” He smiled sheepishly at him. Ronald didn’t know that he was even capable of looking that way.

The white-haired student took a deep breath before adding: “I’m sorry. For taking advantage of you. You were in a vulnerable state, emotionally speaking, and I shouldn’t have done that. If you just want to tell me to fuck off and go home, I understand that.”

Ronald just waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. “Nonsense, Adrian. I was sober enough to know what I’m doing. And some meaningless kissing was maybe not a bad idea, just to get me back on track. There are plenty of other people in the world, after all, and I should stop wasting my time running after William. I just have to focus on that.”, he tried a reassuring smile and Adrian smiled back, but it again didn’t reach his eyes.

“By the way…you’re a really good kisser.”, he added and winked. “I’m sure you’ll have no trouble finding someone willing on this campus if you want to, be it for some fun or even a relationship.” He had never saw Adrian pursuing anyone, but after all, he hadn’t paid that much attention except for when he talked to William. He shyly scratched his head at this realization.

“Ah, I just notice that we always talk about my unsuccessful love life…what about you? Fancy someone here? I never asked you that.”

Adrian turned away, stood up and began to tidy up the table. “Oh, you know…there’s really not much. Nothing worth talking about, Ronnie.”

This sudden evasive behavior intrigued the blonde. “You sure? Because I could help you. If it’s not for myself, I’m a pretty good wingman!”

He stood up and helped Adrian clean the dishes. “Come on…you know my deepest secret, it’s only fair when I know yours”, he tried a different route and smiled at him, hoping to wear him down with his charm. But the other avoided his eyes and remained busy with their task.

“Hey…”, Ronald lightly touched his arm, causing the other to wince and he quickly withdrew. “Did I do something wrong? I didn’t want to push you; I just want to be a good friend.”

At that, Adrian looked up and briefly smiled at him. “You are a good friend, Ronald, don’t worry. I just don’t feel that great, maybe the aftermath of the party. I think it’s best if you leave.” His fringe covered the majority of his eyes, but his voice sounded strained.

“Are you sure, Adrian?”, Ronald was seriously concerned now at this sudden change.

“Yeah, I…I’m sure it’s just a headache. Tomorrow I’m probably better again.”

“Okay…”, the blonde said hesitatingly. “Then…see you tomorrow? And call me if you want to talk or hangout, even if you’re not feeling well and need company. We can watch a movie or just sit on the couch together. I’m not just a party guy as you well know.”

“Sure.”, Adrian replied, but Ronald felt rejected, and not just thrown out of Adrian’s apartment. When the door closed in front of him, he briefly laid a hand on the wood as if to reach out to his friend one last time before leaving.

Chapter Text

The following week, Ronald tried several times to reach out to Adrian. First, he thought that maybe he was really sick when he didn’t find him in the library in his usual spot (according to William). It wasn’t helpful that Will repeatedly asked him if he got some striking idea for a date with Adrian. While Ronald felt his infatuation with William finally fade – partly thanks to Adrian listening and his kisses, he had to admit that – the jealously just didn’t want to leave and he didn’t understand that; he was frustrated with himself. He wanted Will to be happy, and to find happiness after running after his crush for more than a year. He was ready to move on, and still, the picture of Will and Adrian together made him feel sick.

Standing before the dormitory, he shook his head in hope to get the confusing feelings and thoughts out and went straight to Adrian’s apartment. If he really was sick, he would be happy about something to eat, and Ronald bought some fruits and chicken soup for a faster cure. Holding a bag with his purchases in one hand, he knocked at Adrian’s door.

“Adrian?”, he tried after a few seconds of no response and knocked again. “Are you there? I bought some food for you!”.

When still nothing happened, he looked at the floor. A tiny ray of light crept out under the door; apparently someone was home. Maybe he felt too weak right now? Or didn’t want to show himself to Ronald in a sick state?

Not wanting to push the issue, the blonde put the bag next to the door. “I’ll just leave this here for you. Call me if you need anything and get well soon!”.

He went towards his apartment but remained just at the corner to watch if Adrian would open the door. After a few minutes, he heard his door open and he peaked around the corner to see the other’s arm grabbing the bag, and the door closed again. Ronald frowned. Something else was going on here, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

~*~*~*~

“What?!”, exclaimed Ronald at the news on Friday in the theatre club.

“Yeah…I don’t understand it either. But he won’t budge, I’m afraid we have to adjust the play.”, Alan answered, uncommonly down, while sorting through his papers.

“But why?!”, Grell sighed, even her tone lacked the usual cockiness. “He was amazing as Oberon. No offense, Ronnie-“, the blonde just waved at her signaling it was all good, “and we can’t replace him three weeks before premiere.”

“Will?”, Othello asked. “You’re awfully quiet, I would’ve expected you to murder Adrian right on the spot; do you know anything? Or have you already done it?”.

The black-haired student side-eyed them, his face a perfectly calm mask. He appeared to be stoic as ever, currently searching the student list for some appropriate substitution. But Ronald felt his tension and he feared that William would have a stern talk with him after their meeting. And after all, he fucked it up. He told Adrian that Will fancied him; and he wouldn’t blame it on being drunk. Partly, yes…and deep down, he feared that he did it out of spite, and to relief himself. He had to apologize to Will, but he didn’t want to do it in front of everyone else, he didn’t want to drag the others into it and give Will some privacy.

They finally agreed that Eric would ask some teammate of his who had shown interest in participating before. Plan B was that someone would just read the role without acting, but Ronald could see the despair in William’s eyes at that suggestion.

After the rehearsal, Ronald tried to catch Will, but the top student vanished directly. At Ronald’s frowning, Alan muttered something of an urgent appointment, but the blonde had the nagging feeling that Will was avoiding him now. The fact that Adrian left their group after Will confessed his crush to Ronald didn’t help either.

The blonde decided to look for Adrian again. Maybe he could convince him to change his mind and find out what really made him quit. Because he really didn’t believe that Adrian would leave because of Will’s crush, that didn’t seem to fit the eccentric student.

He knocked on Adrian’s door. Apparently, he wasn’t that sick anymore (if he even has been) if he contacted someone from theatre club – probably Alan – to inform about his leave. Nothing happened. Ronald sighed. It was late afternoon, and he already had looked in the library and cafeteria. Adrian had never talked about friends or family outside campus and stayed here on weekends, so the chance that he went home was minimal.

He tried again. “Adrian, it’s me, Ronald. Please? It’s urgent.”

A few minutes passed, and he was about to give up his hope, when he heard some rustling from inside and then the door opened a tiny bit. He met one of Adrian’s striking green eyes.

“Yes?”

“Can I come in?”

Adrian sighed. “Do you want to talk about me leaving? Because I made my decision.”

Ronald stood there speechless for a moment, then he quickly caught himself. “No, I…I wanted to give you your clothes back. You know, from last week.” Luckily, he thought of bringing them as an excuse (save for the hoodie – he hadn’t washed it yet and it still laid on his bed) because he had a hunch that the entry to that talk wouldn’t be easy.

Adrian stretched out his hand, expecting Ronald to give him the bag with his clothes. But the blonde but them safely behind his back.

“Can I come in?”, he asked again with a smile. “Adrian, I think we should talk about this. I don’t understand why you avoid me or why you’ve left, and I will respect your decision, but I think it’s a pity that my Oberon is gone now. Nobody can take your place.”

At that confession, Adrian swallowed visibly. A brief smile played at his mouth. “Are you holding my clothes hostage now?”

“To be honest, yes. They’re very soft and comfy, I’m sure you want them back.”, Ronald grinned cheekily, hoping to waver him.

The white-haired student took a deep breath, then he opened the door and gestured for the blonde to come in. “Fine…but you might want to live with the fact that I won’t answer every question of yours.”

He remained by the doorframe, and Adrian leaned against the counter. He wore his normal black clothes – Ronald doubted he possessed much else with color variation – and his usual jewelry, but beneath that carefully crafted appearance, he saw that the other wasn’t well. His hair was unwashed, and the bags under his eyes were bigger than usual. Even his eyes appeared to be a faint red, as if he had been crying. The books weren’t stacked in the neatly way but were scattered all over the floor. Ronald took it all in but didn’t comment on it. Instead, he held out the back. “The hostage first. Thanks for letting me in.”

Adrian took it and looked inside it. “Where is my hoodie?”

Ronald had the conscience to look sheepishly. “Well…I hadn’t washed it yet. Sorry; I bring it next week.”

The other chuckled. “It’s alright, you can keep it if you want to.”

“That’s not what I-! Okay, maybe. It’s your fault that your clothes smell amazing and feel so soft. How do you wash your laundry?”, Ronald exclaimed, his cheeks barely reddening.

Adrian’s gaze was unreadable. “I’ll show you another time. Now, what do you wanted to talk about?” He crossed his arms and looked at him expectantly.

Ronald decided to get straight to the issue. “Why did you quit? Was it because of Will’s crush? Because if that’s the case, then I can assure you- “.

The white-haired man held his hand up. “That’s not the reason. And I’m sorry, but I won’t tell you. I made my decision and while I understand that that’s not great for you and the play, I won’t change my mind. I have my reasons, and I apologize for the inconvenience, but I don’t see another way.”

Ronald frowned. “Alright…”, the answer didn’t satisfy him at all, but he realized that he came to a dead end here. “Then my other question: Why are you avoiding me? Maybe I’m misreading things, but it certainly feels like it”, he scratched his head uncertainly. “If I did something, just tell me, that’s better than not saying anything at all. To be honest, I kind of missed hanging out with you the last days.”

Adrian opened his mouth, closed it again. He tilted his head and examined Ronald. “You truly have no idea?”

“Is it because of the kissing? Or because I crashed the night here? You can kick me out next time, that’s no problem really, I didn’t want to impose on you and I’m sorry if I did.”

When he got no response, he added: “I really messed something up and missing it now, didn’t I?”. He sighed. “Can’t you just tell me?”

He trusted Adrian and knew him too well to accuse him of playing mind-games like people do in high school, but he felt really uncomfortable now and would be relieved if the other would just spit out what was bothering him.

“I’m not upset that you slept here. If I had a problem with it, I would’ve told you right away.”, Adrian looked at his nails, fiddling with his ring. “If you’re truly oblivious, I can’t help you.”, his face went stoic, which made him look unexpectedly similar to William.

Ronald drummed his fingers on the shelf next to him. “Fine. Here’s my proposition: Please at least play in the premiere. In the meantime, I will do my best to find out how I fucked up.”, now he felt contempt despite trying to stay calm, but Adrian’s apparent pettiness took a toll on him. “And after that, we can act like we never knew each other. But we really do need you at the premiere, otherwise the whole play will be messed up. And you always stroked me as a person who remains faithful to his word.”, he bit his lip and looked at the other expectantly, his heart beating fast.

“And what if I say no?”

Ronald pondered. “Well…then I really can’t do anything otherwise than tell you that we’ll never get a chance to talk this out, because apparently I have to first find out what your problem is.”

Adrian sighed. He looked more exhausted than usual, and despite his mask of calmness, he couldn’t hide his sadness from Ronald. “If I say no, you’ll keep pestering me till I give in, right?”

The blonde shrugged and smiled at him. “Well, I won’t lie, I think it’s really important that you stay.”, then he went a step forward and frowned. “But Adrian…you’re my friend. And I can feel that something’s bothering you, and I would be glad to help you, or at least listen or whatever. I care about you and your disappearing was just…”, he gestured with his hands, trying to grasp the right words out of the air, “I hope you know that you can tell me anything. Really.”, he emphasized it again in hope of reaching the other.

“Fine.”, Adrian agreed, supporting himself with his hands against the counter and avoided his eyes. “I come to the premiere and play Oberon for the last time, and after that I’m out. I just…”, he hesitated, his inner struggle visible in his broken voice and gestures, “I can’t, Ronald. I’m sorry.”

The blonde nodded. “Okay. I’ll go now. Just…you can always call me or knock on my door, no matter the time.”, he briefly thought of hugging Adrian, but feared that it would spook him away again, so he just waved awkwardly and left his hopefully still-friend alone.

Chapter Text

The next day, Ronald joined Alan on his favorite spot in the park. He sat on a bench next to a small lake, a less frequented area, and studied. Or right now, he had tried to study until his friend appeared.

“So, you persuaded him into playing in the premiere?”, the brown-haired student asked while writing a summary of his last lecture. He feared that the notes would be useless, as he couldn’t concentrate at all. The last few weeks were straining to him too, seeing his friends struggle, and especially William nearly breaking down after Adrian’s leave.

“Well, I wouldn’t call it persuading…”, Ronald scratched his head. “We had a talk and he agreed to it.”

“How did you do it?”

“What do you mean? It wasn’t that hard.”, the blonde swallowed nervously. “I mean, I promised him to try and find out how I fucked up our friendship, because apparently, I have, and if he plays in the premiere, I told him we wouldn’t have to meet again. I’ll leave him alone after that.”, he felt his eyes stinging. What was happening? Sure, he liked Adrian and felt close to him, but it wasn’t like they had been friends for years. He would find someone else, someone less complicated. And he had other friends, like Alan and Grell…why didn’t the black hole in his heart close? He felt like some part of him got ripped away, like missing something important. It slipped through his hands like sand, and he couldn’t stop it, and then it would be gone forever without him able to regain what he had lost.

“Ronald”, Alan teared his friend out of his spiraling and turned towards him, now looking directly into his eyes, “Do you honestly not know why Adrian’s upset?”

“No, how would I? I mean, I asked him if I overstepped after sleeping in his apartment, I was sick from the alcohol and he cared for me, and before that we kissed so that I could forget William, but he said that wasn’t the point. If he hadn’t been fine with me sleeping over, he would’ve said something. His words.”

“Okay, hold on.”, Alan held up his pen and took a deep breath, pointing at his friend. “You two kissed?!”

“Yeah, well…I told him about Will and how I finally want to move on, but don’t know how…and he suggested it. There hadn’t been more than some snogging, but to be honest, he’s a pretty great kisser. Perhaps the best kisser I’ve ever had.”, Ronald thought loudly.

“Okay.”, Alan looked at him like he was about to explode any moment. “And what happened then?”

“After we kissed? Well…we had some more drinks and he fell asleep on me, it was pretty cute”, the blonde couldn’t help but smile at the memory, “and then, a few hours later, I supposedly threw up and he changed my clothes and tucked me into his bed. I don’t remember that part, just waking up in his bed in his clothes. Man, for a moment I feared we had sex, but luckily not.”, he let out a relieved laugh. “Then we talked about the night; he brought some breakfast, but quickly said he didn’t feel well and kind of threw me out. And then he left the theatre group and avoids me since then.”

Alan briefly pressed his fingers into his forehead, closing his eyes before opening them and yelling at Ronald, frightening the other with his outburst: “Do you honestly have no idea why he is upset?! Ronald Knox, are you tone-deaf stupid? How can you not see this?!”

He had half stood up, looming over Ronald, and the blonde thought his usual tiny and quiet friend could be pretty intimidating. “No? I thought it had to do something with me because he left after that night, but maybe something happened in between that I don’t know of?”

Alan sighed. “Alright. You know that Will fancies him, correct? And you want to move on from him?”

“Yes…but unfortunately Adrian doesn’t like Will that way. He said something like William doesn’t see him for who he is, and he wants someone that does. Will asked me what date Adrian probably would like, and I just asked him – I will apologize to Will, that was shitty of me – but I didn’t get another answer. I don’t know, maybe Adrian just doesn’t want to have romantic relationships? He didn’t even want to try it out with Will.”

“Ronald.”, his friend took a deep breath.

“Yes?”

“Adrian has a crush on you.”

Silence.

Ronald gaped at him, looking utterly puzzled. But the thought sunk in, about Adrian’s gloominess every time he talked about Will; about the passion in his kisses; about his face when Ronald told him he kept the hoodie. “Oh God.”, he exclaimed, his eyes widening in horror. “Oh God, what have I done, Alan?”, he clasped his hands to his cheeks and looked desperately at his friend. “Are you sure? I mean, did he tell you that?!”

“No, Ronnie, but it’s extremely obvious. You don’t know how he looks at you when he thinks you don’t see it. I nearly had to blackmail Grell to not just yell at you to finally kiss before we all have a stroke from you two dancing around each other.”

“Hm…”, the blonde was speechless. Sure, it all made more sense, but what should he do now? He never considered Adrian as someone more than a friend, as his mind had been occupied by William for so long…but still, the thought of Adrian as his boyfriend, holding his strong but gentle hands, getting kissed by him the way he did a few days ago…he felt the blush creeping into his cheeks.

As if Alan could read his thoughts, he said: “You fancy him too, don’t you? I mean, the way you look at him wasn’t that platonic either, Ronald. When he tried the costume for Oberon on, I thought you would rip it off of him right on the spot.”

“I even kept his hoodie…I told him it was comfy and smelled amazing, and asked him what washing powder he used…oh Alan, why am I that oblivious? Do you think I can still save this?”

Alan hopped on the table in front of the bench and smiled at him. “I have an idea.”

Chapter Text

On the morning of the premiere, Ronald felt like he might throw up.

His stomach was a tight knot, and it didn’t help that he wasn’t able to sleep last night. He looked in his bathroom mirror and stared into his exhausted looking reflection.

“Oh God”, the blonde rubbed his face and sighed while grabbing his toothbrush. “This is going to be a disaster.”

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. “Ronnie, how long do you need? I have to pee!”

“Five minutes, Jake.”

Ronald hurried up with his teeth brushing, hastily put on a shirt and opened the door to let his roommate in. The latter briefly clasped his shoulder before shutting the door behind him. “Good luck today.”

“Yeah…”, murmured the blonde. “I really need it.”

~*~*~*~

He couldn’t concentrate at all in his first course and stared out of the window the whole time. After that, Ronald decided that it wasn’t helping him at all, and he went to the library to go through his lines for the last time, and to get some quietness.

But when he arrived, he was surprisingly caught by William who dragged him in a corner behind tall-looking bookshelves where no-one could see them.

“Will?!”, whispered Ronald as loud as he dared to.

“Shsh.”, the black-haired student put his finger on his lips. Ronald looked at him bewildered.

“Alan told me about your plan.”, he spoke so quietly that the blonde had to lean towards him, even though their chests where already touching.

“Will, I…”

“It’s fine. I fear that Adrian’s intuition was correct; I projected something onto him that wasn’t there.”, he corrected his glasses. “If I want to find a long-term partner, they have to fit authentically. I don’t need someone playing an act for me.”

Ronald gulped and nodded. “Alright…thank you Will, really.” He awkwardly padded his shoulder. “Man, what would we do without you?”

“I don’t know, Ronald.”, William fixed his glasses, his jaw tight, and Ronald knew the black-haired student’s tension before the premiere would soon reach its peak. “I really don’t know.”

~*~*~*~

Alan and Ronald stood in the dressing room, the brown-haired man helping the other into his fancy dress that Grell had finished only days ago.

“You look amazing!”, Alan exclaimed and turned Ronald around so that he could look in the mirror. They admired the way the dress flowed like water; it was truly a masterpiece. The blonde carefully lifted the hem and did a circle, watching the turquoise fabric flying around him.

“You’re beautiful.”

Both turned around to see Adrian standing in the doorframe, grasping his dark robe for Oberon. His hair covered his eyes again and he quickly rushed by them to dress himself behind a paravent. Ronald briefly looked at his formidable shadow before quickly turning away, scolding at Alan for looking smugly at him.

“Do you want help with the make-up?”, his friend asked in an innocent voice.

“Sure.”

Alan dipped a brush into the foundation and began to powder the blonde’s face. Ronald closed his eyes and laid his head back. This might take a while; Grell had planned a heavy make-up for Titania.

He heard some rustling, and a moment later he felt a presence behind him next to Alan.

“I’m sorry for quitting, Alan, and I hope you find a replacement.”, Adrian’s tone was flat, unreadable.

“It’s fine, Adrian, although I’ll admit that I’m sad you leave us. If you reconsider, be sure that we’ll welcome you with open arms.”

Ronald desperately wished he could see the white-haired student’s face, but Alan colored his eyelids right now and he didn’t want to become blind by some brush stabbing his eyeball.

“Yeah, you know…I don’t think that’s going to happen. You see, I am in a certain situation that I don’t see changing.”, his tone wasn’t accusatory, but defeated. “And before I break myself by staying, I have to cut the rope. I’ll do my part in the premiere now, but that’s it.”

They stayed in a half-comfortable, half-awkward silence. “Okay.”, Alan said eventually. “No pressure. Just remember – the door is open.”

Ronald heard Adrian leaving after a short pause, and a few moments later, his make-up was finished too. “What do you think?”, his friend asked when he put on his glasses and looked at his face in the mirror.

“Alan, you’re amazing! How do you do that?”, he turned his face left and right to watch the different angles. Then his brief smile left his face again.

“Oh man…he sounds horrible. I feel so guilty, Alan…do you really think we should wait till after the play?”

“Yes.”, his friend assured him. “I think he deserves a grand romantic scene after what you put him through, not some rushed confession ten minutes before the premiere.”

“Ten minutes?!”

 ~*~*~*~

Ronald had never felt so nervous in his entire life. His head was dizzy, and his face felt incredibly hot. He was grateful for the make-up because the graceful Titania shouldn’t look like a tomato. He swore to himself to do his best, as he didn’t want to make William even more anxious and angry than he already was.

Fortunately, they made it through their first scene together. The latter played incredibly smug and sexy, a perfectly arrogant but likeable Oberon. Ronald pushed against Adrian’s pale chest, trying not to linger with his touch, and screamed at him. In their dance scene that William had miraculously allowed (although it has become a more traditional slow waltz and not the dance from Pulp Fiction) he led the blonde gallantly, but Ronald felt that Adrian didn’t touch him more than strictly necessary and immediately let him go after they finished.

Ronald had to bite his lip and keep a slightly farer distance than necessary too, otherwise his impulsive, adrenaline-laden brain would just command him to grab Adrian’s face, pull him downwards and kiss him. This didn’t go unnoticed by Adrian; when he felt his longing, sad stare in his back as they had a short break between scenes together, he hoped dearly that Alan’s plan was the best idea. He didn’t want to make the other even more miserable.

At one point, he even joined Adrian at the side of the stage where he observed the play.

“Grell’s amazing”, he whispered in an attempt to initiate a conversation. He only got a tiny nod as a response.

When he opened his mouth to try something else, Adrian turned to him, but his eyes avoided Ronald’s. “Sorry, but I need to pee”, he murmured and hasted away from the blonde, leaving him there alone. He felt like a million stones sat in his stomach, pulling him down, his shoulder hunching in defeat.

‘Alan, I dearly hope your plan works!’, he pleaded in his head.

Finally, they made it to the last scene. Ronald had looked at his altered script for the last time, making sure that no one else had seen it. Then he stood in the warm ray of the headlights, Adrian in front of him, holding his hands. Everything else was covered in darkness, and Ronald forget the people around them.

“I hope that you’re not still cross with me, dear Titania?”, Adrian smiled charmingly, but he looked slightly above Ronald.

The blonde took a deep breath and a small step forward. Here it came. He just hoped that Adrian would still manage to play along, so that they wouldn’t ruin the play in the last scene.

“Of course not, dear Oberon; for I realize in this moment, despite your many flaws and mine, we are truly made for each other. You can be a mischievous lecher, but as long as you stay loyal to me, I won’t mind. From the moment I saw you enter our realm, even if you stole my spotlight, I was enchanted by you.”, Adrian frowned and raised one eyebrow, but Ronald gently pressed his hands, urging him to stay.

“I want to watch plays of a strange man named Tarantino with you, discuss philosophical questions between chaotic stacks of literature, and dance with you all night, and fall asleep in your cozy garments. Whether as Oberon and Titania, or other incarnations, my love for you is real and will never fade. I’m sorry for not realizing it sooner, I hope you can forgive me, and it is not too late.” The last part wasn’t even scripted by Ronald and Alan, but he was too far into it to care.

He swallowed and gazed into Adrian’s eyes, where a suspicious tear glistered at the edge of his left eye.

“Are you serious?”, the white-haired man whispered, so softly that Ronald had to read his lips. He gave a tiny nod, looking at his crush pleadingly. His heart hammered in his chest so loud he feared that he would faint any moment, and the warm spotlight burned on his skin.

Adrian lightly grasped his arm, embracing him. “Of course, I forgive you, my dearest Titania”, he murmured. He laid his hand on Ronald’s cheek, softly tilting his head up. His eyes half-lidded, he looked into Ronald’s eyes, searching for permission. As an answer, Ronald moved his head slightly forward and slowly closed his eyes.

When Adrian’s soft lips touched his again, it was ambrosia. Because now it was real, the stakes were infinitely high, and he had won. The blonde put his hands on Adrian’s neck, held him there and animated his lips against his, despite the grin he couldn’t keep from them.

He was so enamored by his lover that he barely noticed the thundering applause while the curtains fell.

Chapter Text

Around 2.30 a.m., Ronald and Adrian walked back to the dormitory. The blonde had changed before their after-party, but Adrian still wore the Oberon costume under his black coat. They had fallen in a comfortable silence, their hands softly intertwined.

Adrian briefly let go of Ronald’s left hand to open his apartment door, only to grasp it again immediately. The permanent smile still hadn’t left the blonde’s lips.

When the other closed the door behind them, he lightly pushed him against it, leaning forward and claiming those wonderful lips again. Adrian let out a surprised gasp, his hands softly squeezing Ronald’s, and the latter used the opportunity to let his tongue into the white-haired man’s mouth, testing the waters. When Adrian reacted with eagerness, he lifted one hand to lay it on his cheek, tilting his head down a little for better access. Adrian’s moaning was bordering on sinful.

“What are you doing to me”, Ronald murmured between kisses while his hands wandered lower, freeing Adrian from his coat and revealing the dark robe. “Why did you wear this all night? You’re driving me insane.”

Adrian let out a breathy chuckle, his head had fallen back against the wood and Ronald couldn’t help but lick the alabaster skin of his throat, sucking and biting it. “Maybe…my intentions weren’t that innocent.” He tilted his head forward again, looking into the blonde’s eyes, a smug smile on his lips. “I can feel your stare, you know.”

Ronald briefly gaped at him, then he grabbed the lapels and pulled his lover towards the bed, carefully not to knock over any book towers. How he did manage that was a miracle to him.

Adrian grinned, and when Ronald was about to turn them around and push him onto the bed, he was faster, laying the stunned blonde down and looming over him, his hands on either side of his head.

“I’m flattered.”, he whispered in his ear before nibbling the lobe. Ronald let out a gasp.

While the blonde tried to unfasten the robe and reveal more of his perfect body, Adrian opened the buttons of his shirt with nimble fingers, distracting him with wet kisses on his neck, jaw, and lips. Before Ronald realized it, he was half undressed, and Adrian still wore almost everything.

“Hey…”, he protested weakly, his eyelids fluttering. “I want to see you too.”, he smiled at Adrian. “You’re beautiful.”

At that, the other straightened up, so that he was straddling Ronald now, and slowly let the robe glide off his shoulders. It still remained on his underarms, partly hiding his hands. Ronald sat up, embracing him, and his hands glided over the naked skin of his shoulder blades and back. Adrian shuddered and smiled at him, grasping his face with both hands, and pulling him into another passionate kiss. Their tongues touched, Ronald licked over Adrian’s lips before claiming this mouth again, but he let Adrian take the lead. His face felt hot in his touch. The blonde realized that he would do about everything Adrian asked from him.

The white-haired man stood up and was about to remove his boots and pants after the robe fell on the floor. Ronald sat on the edge of the bed and stopped him, he hooked his fingers into the waistband, lightly pushing the other’s fingers off.

“Let me”, he whispered. He opened the button and zipper, pulling the fabric down just to reveal his underwear. Adrian was hard, his cock bulging in the material. And he could see that Adrian was definitely well-endowed. He swallowed. His fingers wandered to the hem of the underwear, ghosting over the line. “May I?”, he looked up at Adrian.

Adrian’s gaze was stunned. His face, partly hidden by his white hair, had a faint blush. Finally, he nodded. “Yes. But Ronald…you don’t have to.”

“I know.”, the blonde smiled while slowly pulling off the fabric. “But I want to.”

Adrian’s cock sprang free, and he gave the tip a brief kiss before enclosing his mouth over it, pressing his tongue on the underside, and trying to get as much of it in his mouth as possible.

“Ronald!”, Adrian gasped, clearly didn’t expecting the other to rush forward so quickly. His long, slender fingers grasped his hair, lightly tugging at it in pleasure, the black nails pleasantly scratching his scalp. Adrian tried to support himself on the paravent behind him, but immediately found it too instable when he almost fell.

“Careful”, chuckled the blonde. He let out his cock with a pop before taking it in again, swallowing around it. He breathed through his nose to make it easier, and began to fondle Adrian’s balls as well, altering between lightly scratching with his nails and stroking with the fingertips. His hands grasped the sides of Adrian’s hips, stabilizing him.

“Ronald, I…”, Adrian’s voice was trembling, his eyelids fluttered. “If you’re…keeping…that up…I”, his breaths came ragged. But the blonde didn’t want a fast encounter, he really wanted to make it special with Adrian, and not give him the feeling he was just a quick fuck for him, especially after all that had happened.

So, he let go of his cock, and pulled his trousers and underwear completely off. Unfortunately, his thigh-high boots came in the way almost immediately. They had several belts holding them in place. “These boots, I swear…”, he opened the first belt, but Adrian bent down and unclasped them himself.

“Got a complaint?”, he smirked.

Ronald let his hands stroke over the material before leaning back and pulling off his own shoes and pants. “No…maybe a little. They’re sexy, but also impractical right now.”

“You seem impatient, Ronnie.”, Adrian’s grin remained, but a brief uncertainty flashed in his eyes.

Ronald paused in his actions to stand up and stroke the other’s pale hair, his hand laying on his cheek. “I promise that I mean it. You’re not just some fling for me. And I dearly hope that that’s not our last time. But I also want to make our first time special, and I’m sorry if I rushed. I just can’t wait to finally see you, and feel you, Adrian.”

Adrian let out an uneven breath, his movements going frantic, and he pulled his remaining clothes off as fast as possible. “The feeling is mutual, Ronnie”, he pushed the stunned blonde onto the bed again, pressing their naked bodies together and kissing him, grasping his face with passion.

Ronald let out a moan at the friction, their cocks rubbing at each other. Adrian began to slowly move his hip, pressing down again and again.

“So, Ronald…”, Adrian let go of his lips to whisper in his ear, one hand stroking his hair, and he used the other to prop himself up on the bed a little. “What do you want?” He lifted his head and looked down and Ronald with a gentle smile.

“Adrian, you know”, the blonde replied and let out a gasp when the other stroked over his nipple. “I’m down for anything, really. I want to feel you in me. But I can go the other way as well. I just want you to feel good.” At the image of Adrian under him, screaming and withering in pleasure while he pounded into him, nearly got him going as much as the idea of the other fucking him. He wanted to give himself to Adrian, to lose his control to him. But he also wanted to relieve the other’s stress and tension and make him feel good, without worrying about anything.

As if he read his thoughts, Adrian let his hand wander lower until it stroked against Ronald’s entrance. He raised an eyebrow. “This won’t be the last time, right?”, despite his even tone, his eyes revealed his vulnerability, and the blonde just wanted to kiss every inch of his body, showering him in affection.

“No”, he breathed. “This will be the first of many times, I hope.” He pushed his bottom lightly against the digit, urging him on. “Next time, I will fuck you until you forget your name.”, he winked at him and smiled.

“Well, that’s a claim.”, Adrian chuckled, then he stretched towards his bedside table and opened the drawer. “I certainly look forward to it.” He grabbed a bottle of lube, squeezed some on his finger and prodded against Ronald’s entrance, slowly inserting his finger. Ronald vaguely noticed that he had shortened his nails a little. And Adrian was careful, Ronald trusted him. His other hand closed around the blonde’s dick, and he began stroking it to make it easier.

“More”, the blonde breathlessly insisted with closed eyes, trying to press himself onto the intruder.

“You’re so impatient.”, Adrian chuckled. “Next time, I have to tie you down and teach you some patience.”

At that exclamation, the blonde opened his eyes and looked stunned at Adrian. “Well…maybe you should. Maybe that’ll help.”, his cheeks felt incredibly hot, but he held the other’s gaze, and Adrian looked surprised for a second before smiling again. He bent down to press a gentle kiss on the blonde’s forehead. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He added a second finger, gently scissoring the inner walls while his other hand stroked over Ronald’s left nipple now, his mouth closing over the right one. The blonde moaned and withered under him. “Please, Adrian…”, he tilted his head back and his hands grabbed the other’s glorious hair, lightly tugging in sync with Adrian’s fingers.

At that, Adrian let out a loud moan, causing Ronald to grin. “Oh?”, he tested the waters by tugging again, eliciting a shudder and another moan from the other.

“Ronnie…”

“Is that why you keep your hair that long?”, he wondered smugly.

Adrian lifted his head to look down at him, pressing his finger farther into his ass until he hit the inner part that caused Ronald to let out a surprised gasp with fluttered eyelids. “Maybe…”, he winked. “But keep that little secret to yourself.”

“Of course…wouldn’t want…others…to tug the hair of my man”, the blonde answered, groaning in frustration. “But please…I need you in me now, Adrian.”

Adrian drew him into a passionate kiss at that exclamation, his eagerness betraying his teasing, especially regarding Ronald’s patience. Propped up on his underarms, he lined himself up against his entrance to slowly insert himself. They both moaned against each other’s lips, and when Ronald tugged at his hair again, his other hand searching for Adrian’s, the latter accidentally pushed harder into him.

“Sorry”, he stammered at Ronald, his eyes unfocused. But the blonde shook his head. “No…it’s…just keep going.”

He tried to move his hips, taking him in as deep as possible. Although this wasn’t his first time, it had never felt so intimately. Every inch of his skin that touched Adrian’s felt on fire. He could lose himself in Adrian’s eyes, his hungry, vulnerable gaze on him, the stroke of his hands, the silver hair embracing them, and his slender but strong arms.

His lover maintained a slow pace though, and the blonde grew frustrated, especially when Adrian’s grin revealed that the bastard knew what he was doing. His soft lips wandered from his lips to Ronald’s cheek, his earlobe, and his neck. One hand sneaked between them to gently fondle his nipples. “Adrian…”, the blonde couldn’t get enough, he felt intoxicated and as if in heaven.

But he had two perfectly good hands that itched to touch. So, he copied the other and began to touch his nipple, carefully tugging at it and rolling it between his fingers.

Adrian, his face pressed against Ronald’s neck, let out a choked moan. Ronald grinned. Two could play that game. His other hand wandered lower until it found Adrian’s balls, although he almost couldn’t reach them. He stroked over them with his nails, occasionally putting in a light massage.

“Is this…a compe…tition…now?”, the other gasped while struggling to keep his slow pacing.

The blonde shrugged and tried to appear smug, despite feeling his burning cheeks. “No…just want to make you feel good, honey. Is there something wrong with it?”

Adrian lifted his head, and he smiled innocently at him, the white-haired man’s eyes full of lust.

“Tell me if I should stop”, Adrian whispered in his ear before grabbing both of Ronald’s hands, pinning them above his head, and nibbling at the column of his neck as he picked up the pace.

“Oh God!”, the blonde exclaimed, moaning at every push into him. He pulled his legs towards him to take the other in even deeper. And Adrian was already well-endowed. He had never felt so full in his life.

“Adrian, I’m…!”

“Just let go”, he got as an answer he felt at his neck, and when he got showered with tender, frantic kisses, he squeezed his eyes shut as he came undone underneath the other.

Not close after, he felt Adrian coming as well, his seed spurting into him, the stuttering pace of an orgasm pressing in his inner walls. He tilted his head to nibble at Adrian’s earlobe, gently tugging at the piercing, which caused the latter to let out a soft, exhausted moan.

He released his wrists and laid down on Ronald ignoring the semen on his stomach, and deep-breathed against him.

Ronald was still out of breath as well, and he embraced the other, gently pressing him against him, while he stared at the ceiling in disbelief.

They hadn’t put on any light, but they didn’t close the curtains either, so the brief shine of the streetlamps in front of the window revealed their silhouettes.

The blonde felt a head sneaking up to him, a cheek laying down on his shoulder, and a moment later Adrian embraced him as well. He pulled up the duvet to keep the warmth and pressed a soft kiss on the white-haired man’s head.

“I love you”, he blurted out before he could think. Oh God. He technically had said it in the play earlier, but one could attribute it on the character. Now he didn’t have that excuse. “Adrian, I…you don’t have to say it back. Sorry, that was probably…”, he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, trying to find a way to save the situation.

“I love you too.”

Adrian’s voice was barely more than a whisper, and Ronald almost thought he imagined it, but the squeeze with which Adrian embraced him revealed enough. He felt his smile on the skin of his chest and a huge grin sneaked onto his own face.

He hadn’t felt that happy in a very long time.

“And Ronnie?”

“Yes, Adrian?”

“You can keep my hoodie.”

“I…I didn’t…”, he stuttered, but Adrian just giggled and pulled the duvet further up until almost his entirely body was covered.

“I gladly let you steal all my hoodies. They suit you.”

Ronald chuckled. “Sleep well, Adrian.”

“Goodnight.”