Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Sapnap knew that he never stood a chance with either of them. It was obnoxiously obvious that they were in love with each other and that everyone else was perfectly on board with that.
But that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt when they sat him down to tell him they were finally dating.
He had hoped that they would stay just the way that they were for as long as possible because at least like this they still wanted Sapnap around. Now though, it would no longer be the dream team, it would be Dream and George who sometimes let Sapnap third wheel. Eventually they would move out or ask Sapnap to move in order to have some privacy with their relationship and he would be alone, forced to watch as the people he loved lived happily without him.

He supposed he always knew that this was the way it would end but he had ignored it, contempt being their bestfriend. A small part of him had even hoped that maybe they shared his feelings but he realised now that that part was foolish.
How could he have ignored how completely different they acted towards each other compared to him? Sure, Dream would buy Sapnap things too but they didn’t have that look on their face that Sapnap could only describe as “sickeningly in love” when they looked at Sapnap, they didn’t use every opportunity they had to spend time with Sapnap, they didn’t talk about Sapnap in the same way they spoke about George.
George wasn’t as obvious with his love but Sapnap noticed the fondness in their voice when he spoke to Dream, he would never go quite as far with the teasing with him.

So Sapnap should have really been prepared for this and yet here he sat, on their couch, completely silent with his two friends staring at him worriedly.
It was only when Dream reached out and laid their hand on Sapnap’s shoulder that he snapped out of it. “That’s great, I’m happy for you.” He tried to sound somewhat genuine but it came out as cold and angry.
He hastily got up and locked himself in his room, ignoring George when he called out for him and sliding down against his door, allowing his tears to fall freely.
He had barely gotten a strangled sob out when someone knocked on his door. “Pandas?” George asked, their voice soft, careful. It made his heart ache to hear him like this, they weren’t supposed to care about Sapnap enough to check on him like this. It made it harder for Sapnap to move on.
“Can you please open the door? Sap.. please?” He heard Dream, their voice just as soft as George’s but anxious, worried.
Sapnap pulled himself up, giving himself a moment to calm himself before carefully opening the door, embarrassed to have reacted like this.

Almost as soon as the door was open, Dream wrapped their arms around him, his face pressed into Dream’s chest. Dream held him tightly and Sapnap almost didn’t notice when George tapped Dream’s arm, giving them a pleading look before he was released from Dream’s arms and George took their place.
Being held like this only made more tears fall. “What happened Sap?” Dream asked.
Sapnap panicked internally, he couldn’t possibly tell them what was actually bothering him but what other reason did he have for reacting like that?
“I- I’m sorry, that was so unfair of me to react like that. I guess I’m just really tired of being single and I wasn’t prepared to be the only single one in the dream team.” He answered, chuckling a little at how silly it sounded. There was no truth to his words and he worried that his friends knew him too well to fall for them.

"Why didn't you just say so? We could help you find someone?" Dream proposed.

George gave them a look, one that Sapnap couldn't really read when he had his head pressed to George's shoulder.

"Oh uh maybe"

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Sapnap sat awkwardly staring at a tall brunette man with striking blue eyes. It had been a little over a week but he was already on his third date. He wondered where Dream found these men, considering they hadn’t left the house much until George arrived and all of these guys were amazing. This guy specifically was from Arizona and seemed really, genuinely interested in Sapnap.
Maybe if he wasn’t so hung up with his best friends he would have been a lot more interested in this guy too.

“Nick?” The guy asked, Sapnap tried to remember his name but it didn’t come to him.
“Uh yeah?” He responded, feeling genuinely bad for not being able to enjoy himself.

The guy gave him a soft frown “You don’t really wanna be here do you?”
Sapnap straightened himself “I’m sorry, it has nothing to do with you, you seem like a really cool guy and you’re very much my type but…”

“But?” The guy frowned, Sapnap could only give him a sympathetic look “I’m kinda still hung up on someone else.” He told him.

“Oh” The guy said and Sapnap really felt like an asshole for continuing to refer to him as ‘
The guy’.
“That sucks… I was kind of hoping this would go well 'cause I really like you.”

“I’m sorry” was all that Sapnap could think to say.

When he came home George and Dream were sitting on the couch, and George’s legs laid over Dream's lap. “How did it go?” George asked, sounding almost bitter, Dream elbowed him before turning to Sapnap expectantly.

“It… uh… didn't really work out.” He said, throwing himself onto the couch, next to Dream.
They frowned “Really? I really thought that this guy would be it.”
“Yeah, he was pretty great actually.”
Dream’s frown deepened and George looked at him with an expression that reminded him of Patches when she was confused.
“What happened?” Dream asked but Sapnap didn’t get to answer before George cut in “He wasn’t transphobic, was he?” they asked, tone harsh and serious.

“No! At least I don’t think he was, I didn’t really get around to telling him.” Sapnap said. He couldn’t really imagine this guy as a transphobe.
“I… Maybe we should just stop, I mean these guys have been great but I still can’t really see myself dating them.”

“Would you rather date a girl? I never really asked before setting up these dates.” Dream said, a little sheepish. Sapnap frowned “No, maybe I’m just not cut out for dating.”

“I don’t want you to feel bad about being single though.” Dream frowned.
They seemed genuinely sad at the idea of Sapnap being sad and single. “Maybe I could try a few more dates.”

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Several days had passed and It had only gotten progressively harder to watch Dream and George be affectionate with each other. Every time they leaned on each other or held each other's hand Sapnap longed to go back to a time when he didn’t feel like joining them would feel intrusive.
Somehow it had manifested in him almost avoiding his friends when he could. He felt awful because every time he went to his room instead of spending time with them he saw how their moods dropped but it hurt so much more to stay.

The dates didn’t help. Most of them were great and it only made Sapnap feel worse about not being able to move on.
He had all of these opportunities to go out with someone else, someone who wasn’t in a relationship, someone who was interested in him in a romantic context and yet he was still in love with people who would never want him like that.

Sapnap had gotten up to get himself a glass of water when he heard Dream and George arguing in the living room.
“Why would you do that, Idiot. That’s like the opposite of what we want.” George grumbled.

“Wouldn’t you rather he be happy with someone else than miserable and single?” Dream said and Sapnap could hear the hurt in his voice.

They were talking about him.

George froze. “I… I guess” his voice softened, no longer angry, just sad.

They were quiet for a moment before they spoke again, quieter. “I know that you love him, I do too but we can’t do anything if he doesn’t love us back like that.” Dream spoke.
“I know” George responded, his voice was a little muffled.

Holy shit, Were they still talking about him? That seemed to be the only reasonable explanation for that conversation but did it mean what Sapnap thought it meant.

He hurried back into his room, forgetting that they might have heard him and known that he heard them.

When Sapnap came downstairs the next morning his friends were sitting by the kitchen table, their glances quickly turned to Sapnap when they heard him. “Oh uh good morning Sap.” Dream said awkwardly, Sapnap had never really heard them so awkward around him.

“Um, good morning?” He looked at Dream, confused by his sudden behaviour. “Everything alright?” He asked while opening their fridge. “Yup, everything is fine.” They answered a little too quickly to be believable.

George sat uncharacteristically quiet, next to Dream, seeming endlessly tired.
Sapnap frowned a little as he sat down.

Everything was not fine, that much was obvious.

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This awkward dance went on for days, Dream would seem awkward and borderline uncomfortable around Sapnap every time they were approached, George would practically ignore him and Sapnap would be left confused about what he had done to cause it.

The final straw was when Dream tried to leave a room right after Sapnap entered. He quickly grabbed their arm. “Dream… please what’s going on?” He pleaded, Dream just looked away “Sap… come on… you know what’s going on” They said weakly.
“No! I don’t! I don’t know what I did but you’re uncomfortable with me and George won’t even talk. ” Sapnap said

“How could I not be uncomfortable knowing you heard what we said? I ruined our friendship Sap.” Dream whimpered making Sapnap pull them into his arms “Fuck, Dream don’t say that, you didn’t ruin anything. I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything after hearing that, I didn’t know that you heard it, I needed to process what I heard but nothing you could ever do could ruin our friendship… I think we should probably talk though. With George too”
Dream nods. “Yeah..”

Sapnap leads them to the couch and walks up to George’s room. He took a deep breath before knocking “George?” He asked and got no response.
“George? Please? Will you come down stairs? I think we should all talk.” He waits for a moment before heading downstairs himself and plopping himself right next to Dream. Dream anxiously fiddled with their hands, keeping their eyes on the floor.
They sat in silence for a minute before George entered the living room, his arms crossed and his expression hard. He sat next to Dream, grabbing one of their hands and holding it before they started picking at their skin.
“So? What did you want to talk about?”

“Well uhm I want to start by saying that I heard you guys the other night but I had no idea you knew that so I’m really sorry I didn’t talk to you afterwards, I wasn’t uncomfortable around you two or anything… I… just needed to think, I guess.” Sapnap said.
George’s expression softened and the tension in his body seemed mostly relieved. “Okay… and um, you’re not uncomfortable with what we said?” He asked cautiously.
Sapnap shook his head “No. Not at all, I’m a little curious if It meant what I think it meant when.. Uh, when you said you loved me.” He said, a little awkwardly afraid that he had been too blunt.

Dream froze for a moment before saying “W-We do, we love you.” They glanced at George who gave them a short nod and rubbed gentle circles on the hand that he was still holding. “Romantically” They added.
Sapnap felt tears well up in his eyes as he was overcome with emotion. They loved him.
“Shit, Sap are you okay?” George asked as Dream reached out to dry his tears.
“ I love you too… so much” He said before Dream and George gently manoeuvred him so that he sat between them, wrapping their arms around him. He placed his head on George’s shoulder, revelling in the feeling of their fingers threading through his hair and the calm happy feelings that consumed him now that he was wrapped up in his loved ones arms.
“I lied when you guys told me you were together, I was just sad because I thought I had lost my chance with you.” He let out.
George stopped his movements.“So you didn’t like any of those guys then?” they said, voice almost bitter at the thought. Sapnap chuckled “No, none of them. Only you two.”
Dream hummed, amused “Good. Gogy was jealous.” They grinned and if Sapnap hadn’t somehow already curled himself up on his chest, George would have most likely sat up a bit to glare at them. “Uhuh. Like you weren’t.”