Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Story cover by me :)

please mind the tags, my friends. most of this fic is very, very old, so I apologize for the first few chapters.

Chapter Text

If you told Tord a few months ago he'd be sitting on his ex-best friend's couch, crying his eyes out while being yelled at, he'd probably ask why you were so specific, then shoot you for suggesting he'd ever cry in front of anyone. Yet here he was, tears burning paths down his face and sobs wracking through his frame as Edd, Matt, and Tom yelled at him.

"You nearly killed us! You killed Jon!"

"You hurt my beautiful face, and destroyed all my things!"

"You blew our damn house up without a second thought, Tord! If you seriously think we'd ever forgive you, you must have lost some brain cells in that crash."

 He couldn't even begin to form a coherent sentence past the pain in his chest. It wasn't enough that he had to hear those thoughts every day and night, but to have them shouted into his ears too. God, It was already obvious tom would strike him with a horrid harpoon the second Edd lost his patience, of which he had very little.

"What are you planning to do now, Commie? Come back to kill us?" Tom sneered, eyes brimming with the desire to hurt. And it wasn't as if Tord didn't deserve it, that much he knew, but he still wished to escape this. 

"No!" He whined, shaking his head. It wasn't as if he expected or wanted their forgiveness, but he did want to apologize for his horrid actions. More over, things like the army or his creations were trivial to him by this point. He had much, much bigger concerns. 

"Then why the hell are you loitering around our apartment building?" Edd asked, taking a deep breath in a vain attempt to calm himself. Tord had all but given up his sense of dignity, so he freely gave up the requested information.

"I already told you, I'm homeless! I didn't even know you lived here, just passing through," He sighed. Edd snarled, getting right up in his face.

"BULLSHIT! Stop fucking lying to me for five minutes, Tord! Look at yourself, you've put on at least 20 pounds! So you can afford to stuff your fat ass, but can't get a place to stay?" Edd scoffed in disgust. The words hurt. A lot, actually. It wasn't as if there weren't enough things about his appearance to look at, and Tord long since learned that mirrors were his enemy, but his weight? It wasn't something he normally cared about.

Of course, with the real reason for his sudden weight gain, he'd always be a little touchy. He considered lying, perhaps getting them to let him go with enough half-truths, but the thought of truly being killed quickly shut that down. Really, the only option he had was to tell the truth, and hope their pity would let him out the door and to the closest motel or something.

"I… I'm pregnant," He said softly after a long moment, moving his gaze to the floor. The room fell deadly silent, before Edd exploded with laughter. The sound sent a sharp pang through his chest, tears falling faster. 

"You really are fucking stupid if you think we're gonna fall for that!" Edd wheezed, whipping a tear from his eye.

"Even I'm not stupid enough to believe that, and I believed you were a nice person for years," Matt added, which only caused Edd to laugh harder, Tom joining in and high-fiving Matt. Tord felt shame bubble up within, a knife in his heart. Stupid fucking hormones making him hyperemotional and shit. 

"I'm telling the truth! " What else was he to do? His only hope was they'd take pity and let him go after knowing he was pregnant, but he couldn't do that if they thought he was lying!

"Commie, it's basic human biology. We all know you're a male through and through, you can't think we're that gullible!" Tom chuckled, shaking his head. He very bitterly bits back a comment on his biology, not keen on giving them any more reason to belittle him. There was a lot he could handle, but their ridicule on something so sensitive was not on. Tord rested his hands on his stomach while he racked his brain for anything to make them believe. Then the baby kicked.

That's it!

"It's kicking! Feel, then you'll know. I promise you I'm not lying about this baby, even if it doesn't make sense how." Tord said quickly, staring pleadingly at those who he used to call friends. He had to resist the urge to cringe at his own words, skin crawling uncomfortably. 

"Ew, I'm not touching your fucking stomach!" Tom cringed, taking a step back. 'And I don't want your hands near my stomach,' he thought sarcastically. 

"Yea, and let you get in a hit." Edd rolled his eyes, as he finally stopped laughing. Tord looked down, feeling a soft thump against his palm. This was useless. Trying to convince them of this was so utterly fucking pointless, and he knew full and well their distrust was valid. He couldn't be bothered to fight them on this. 

"I'll do it," Matt said, stepping forward. He received confused looks from everyone, including Tord. "What?"

"Are you seriously going to believe him?" Edd asked, glaring at Tord. Matt shrugged, kneeling down and replacing Tord's hand with his. Despite being the one to offer, he still felt incredibly uncomfortable to have him so close, hands on his body sending unpleasant tingles across his skin. 

"You're lying, aren't you? This is so stupid, so are you, and there isn't a baby." Matt said smugly, and Tord really wanted to punch that stupid look off his face. He wasn't sure if it was the hormones, the memories that resurfaced from the contact, or the sting of being called a lair, but something snapped inside his poor little heart.  

"I'M NOT LYING!" Tord screamed, emotions getting the better of him. "I DIDN'T GO THROUGH 5 MONTH OF AGONY FOR YOU TO TELL ME MY OWN FUCKING CHILD ISN'T REAL!" He slammed his fist down on the couch, body trembling violently. Matt only stared with wide-eyed shock. Edd stormed over, pushing Matt out of the way and pulling Tord up by his hoodie.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? Don't you dare yell at him!" He spat, shaking Tord aggressively.

"He's not lying," Matt said suddenly.

"What?" Edd dropped Tord, turning to Matt with disbelief.

"He's really pregnant, I felt it!" Matt crawled closer to press his hand to Tord's stomach, flinching slightly as the baby kicked out. He looked up at Edd with shock.

"This... This can't be real." Edd mumbled. Tom pushed past them both, getting down on his knees.

"I want to feel for myself," Tom said, pushing Tord's hoodie up and resting his palm against Tord's belly. His eyes widened at the small thumps, pulling his hand back slightly and looking up at Tord. "What the fuck!? How the fuck is this even possible!?"

"Oh haha, laugh at me a little louder, would ya," he sneered unkindly, that same resentment at himself and the situation bubbling just below the surface. Their combined stares of disbelief and shock made him itchy, and he had to dig his uneven nails into the flesh of his palm to prevent himself from scratching. "Yeah, I was stupid and got myself knocked up, are you happy?"

"H-how," Tom pushed himself away with wide eyes still locked on his exposed skin. Tord quickly pulled his shirt down, frown deepening.

"Does it matter? At the end of the day, I'm still having a baby," he fought off a scowl. Was it too much to want to leave? No one exactly wanted him here, so how was it he got trapped in this bullshit cycle.

"You're… oh my god," Edd nervously tugged on his hair as the strange reality washed over him.

"Edd, just because he's pregnant now doesn't change the fact he tried to kill us! Don't go forgiving him over stupid shit!" Tom barked, snapping his fingers in front of Edd's face. He truly didn't think something like this would change their minds, especially since he did do something unforgivable. He wasn't about to accept whatever nonsense pity invitation Edd came up with, no fucking way.

"I'm not forgiving him, hell no, Tom. I could never!" Edd shocked his head, a frown making its way onto his face. "But… Tom, he's carrying a fucking child. We don't even know how this is possible!"

"For once, I agree with Thomas," he shrugged, making sure his shirt was in order before he shoved himself to his feet and ignoring the offending scowl he received. Although all he felt was exhaustion and soreness, he gave his best sly smirk. Seemed to work too, considering the unease they all showed. "I'm not big on pity, but thanks for the thought,"

"Tord, if you go out there, your child will die,"

"So you expect me to believe that being pregnant suddenly gets me pity points? That you're suddenly opening your home to me because I'm helpless?" he knew he was being just slightly cruel, but he also didn't care. Sue him for being a hormonal mess, huh?

"I'm not saying we fucking forgive you, or that I'm letting you stay here forever," Edd rolled his eyes at this, jabbing an accusatory finger at his chest.

"What, then? Until I get my life in order?"

"Until the baby is born," something about the way he said it made him physically ill. The way the taller exchanged cryptic looks with the other two only worsened the uneasy feeling. "You're in no condition to raise a baby, we are,"

"You can't honestly be implying that I give up my baby. Maybe you knocked something loose in that accident, but there's no way in hell I'm giving up my baby to you, " 

"You're homeless, can't get a job, and clearly have no one to lean on. You can't take care of a kid like this," Edd said flippantly, as if he weren't suggesting Tord part with his own goddamn kid and likely sign away every right to even see them.

"You're nuts,"

"It's in everyone's best interest,"

"Everyone? Or yours," he spat, and he tried desperately to ignore the tears pooling in his eyes. He would pretend like this wasn't the worst thing to possibly happen. Edd glared at him silently, with Tom and Matt staring impatient behind him.

"You can decide that one, commie," Tom added, narrowing those haunting dark eyes. Tord wouldn't admit that he agreed with them on some level, because the sudden and gripping fear of losing his child was overwhelming. Of course, he could get his shit together and go track down the father, lord knows the man would be thrilled to help him out. Yet the idea of being anywhere near the man made his stomach twist, and not just because of the babes. He swallowed down his disgust and fear, and after very briefly entertaining the idea of doing it all on his own, he dropped back down onto the couch with a withering glare made less effective by the tears.

"That's what I thought," Tord glared at the floor to distract from the storm of anger and pain in his chest. His now temporary roommates relocated to talk logistics, assumedly, and grant Tord a few minutes of relief. It wasn't as if he was exactly planning to have another kid any time soon, nor that he ever planned to get pregnant in the first place. 

He was fine with being kidless his whole life, considering his very awkward relationship with romance and intimacy. Sex was an entirely different can of worms he wasn't opening right now. Just say his love for hentai was more complicated when most thought. When he managed to fall from a very tearful panic into a cold, empty apathy, Matt and Tom were already leaving the apartment. He followed them with his eyes, that internal resentment seeming to grow. God, was he one unlucky fuck. 

"Tord," Edd stood in front of him, face unreadable. He handed the man an old ratty blanket, one likely from their old home, and a shitty pillow. Really scraping the bottom of the barrel. He accepted the gifts regardless, running a tired hand through his oily hair. "We have to do a lot tomorrow, so get some rest, I don't need you passing out or something."

Tord would've liked to believe this was all a misguided attempt to protect him, but he was done playing make believe and wishing for a better ending. He knew damn well that Edd and co hated his guts, and he had no intention to try to change that. He was mature enough to understand that his action couldn't be smoothed over with an apology and good behavior. 

Tord wouldn't forgive him if he said sorry. 

No. no thinking about him. 

"Yeah, alright," he angrily rubbed his eyes till they were sore, thankful when Edd decided to leave him be instead of hounding him for more information that he couldn't –  or rather, he wouldn't – provide. The couch was much too small, even for someone of Tord's messily height of 5'6 (1.68 m), but considering the places he'd been sleeping before it was surely an upgrade. Laying in the now dark living room of the people he'd once tried to kill, he couldn't help but ask himself if all of it was worth it. 

He wasn't sure of that answer quite yet.