Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The energy was high and electrifying. Drinking off into the atmosphere around, it made Rinne’s skin tingle and it felt like he was drinking one of his good bottles and enjoying an incredible time. Except there were no bottles, but rather, the loud chatter amongst the other idols holding up in the green room his unit was sharing with. It was a little bit of a tight squeeze, but no one seemed to mind. 

He spotted Hiiro and Mika talking animatedly about something, a friendship that was unexpected but nonetheless welcomed, while Tatsumi and Shu talked to one another nearby. Aira was clinging onto Tatsumi’s arm for some odd reason, but Rinne could tell he looked extremely nervous. 

Rinne wasn’t so surprised. 

The SS this year was similar to last year’s, but with a few rule changes. None of which mattered so much to the gambler. With a chance to win once more, everyone trained harder than ever before. The qualifying rounds were deadly but the risks were worth it, leading Crazy:B to once more be one of the finalists. 

ALKALOID and Valkyrie are one of the other units. He was sure Eden and fine were there, too. 

It didn’t feel like they were competing for the winning crown, anymore. 

Everywhere Rinne looked, everyone put it their all in their dances, their singing, the flick of a wrist or a precise way to step with their foot, and their fans screamed. On the internet, in the audience seats, waving their lights frantically in the air. Even though one of those fans may only be there to support a single unit, they still strived to support the others. 

It wasn’t about winning, anymore. It was about performing. About singing your heart out for the world to hear. About sending a message to everyone. About sending your love to everyone.

Love for idols. Love for friends. Family. Yourself. 

Years ago, Rinne was prepared to sacrifice his future as an idol if it meant the others can step on stage without the title of ‘Troublemaker’. Sure, it would probably still be difficult for them with the stigma and all, but Rinne would take that gamble. It’s not even a high risk, either. 

But then Ryusetai came to drag his sorry ass back, and ALKALOID came and then Hiiro was there and-

They sang. They sang until Rinne became blind to the penlights waving around. They sang until his body was beyond sore and on the verge of collapsing with only mere adrenaline keeping his body up. They sang until it finally clicked inside of Rinne’s pea-sized brain, that he could have this. That he could still reach for his dream- but no longer alone. 

Niki was standing at his side. HiMERU and Kohaku stayed with the unit even after everything that happened. Hiiro was now with him, both as colleagues and family, reconciling bit by bit after Rinne’s sudden departure from his life. 

CRAFTMONSTER was fun, too. He napped with Ritsu, even talked with Makoto and Hokuto. But his favorite will always be messing with Shu with every opportunity- and talking with Mademoiselle, she’s fun, too. It got to the point that he dared to say they were ‘friends’ (even if Shu denies it).

He met so many people and created so many fun memories (perhaps to the chagrin of others) and Rinne wouldn’t have it any other way. 

And now, as they prepare for the SS, all they can feel is the nervous energy prior to a performance.

… And something else.

Rinne glanced over to HiMERU and Kohaku, the two on their respective seats but remaining silent, their gazes far off. They were nervous, yes, but Rinne didn't fail to catch the strangeness of their posture. They were wary of something, eyes trained on the remaining idols as if they would disappear if they were to even blink once. 

He joked about the two of them disappearing off to their ‘secret dates’ whenever he caught the pair going off somewhere. It usually led to a kick in the nuts or a deep glare from HiMERU, who would then declare their relationship is not like that and that it wasn’t legal, anyway. Kohaku would also then declare that even if he was in a legal age, HiMERU wouldn’t be his type. (Such words made HiMERU look offended, Rinne wouldn’t stop laughing for a whole ten minutes.)

Rinne doesn’t always meddle with the lives of his other members (except for Niki, obviously), but as a natural-born leader, he had long noticed the change in relationship between the pair. He genuinely thought the two were seeing each other but can’t reveal it due to the nature of not just idols dating, but also because it was illegal due to Kohaku still being a minor. The look HiMERU always gives to Kohaku when there’s a sudden loud noise, or how HiMERU unconsciously seemed to look over Kohaku like a mother hen. Kohaku is the most mature of them all, this Rinne knew, but there were times when Kohaku looked… small. 

He had tried to bring it up in the past, but Kohaku refused to tell him. He stopped asking afterwards.

But something about today made the nervousness more… visible. It was honestly rather unsettling. Like something bad was going to happen and they’re just waiting for a bomb to drop on them. It made Rinne unsettled, but he pushed it aside and flashed them a winning smile.

“Yoooo… MeruMeru~” Rinne took one of the empty chairs and slid it over until he was sitting beside HiMERU, shoulders pressed together and everything. Just like that, the faraway look HiMERU was giving off was immediately replaced with a scowl. 

“Save your breath for the live.” HiMERU said flatly, using one hand to push Rinne’s body away. “It’s starting real soon.”

“Yea yea, everyone’s been reaaall nervous. But we’ve been practicing a lot for this day! Worked our asses off, too. If anything, I think we got this one in the bag.”

“Your overconfidence will be the reason why we will fail our live.” HiMERU shot back, but it didn’t have the usual snarkiness that he saved just for Rinne to hear. If anything, it sounded like HiMERU just wanted to get the day over with. Kohaku flashed HiMERU a worried gaze after that, before looking back to eyeing Aira who was still hugging Tatsumi’s arm.

Okay, so there’s definitely something wrong with the two. Rinne really wanted to pry and prod them, but HiMERU at least has a point. The live is starting any moment now. 

“Oh- where’s Mayoi-san?” 

Tatsumi’s voice made Rinne turn his head to see the worried gaze of the priest. He looked around the green room, not spotting his dear friend anywhere. Rinne strained his ears in hopes to hear anything coming from the ceiling or walls, but nothing.

“Didn’t Mayoi-han go with Niki-han to the refreshments?” Kohaku asked, his right leg shaking uncharacteristically. 

“Umu! I’ll go collect them!” Hiiro said with a smile, already bounding his way to the door. Rinne, before he could even stop himself, got up from his seat to follow his younger brother.

“I’m coming!”

“You’re not planning on slacking off, are you?” HiMERU asked with an edge on his voice, glaring at Rinne who only responded with a wink.

“Nah, I promise to come back!”

“You better…”

It was a little worrying that Mayoi and Niki were not with them at the green room, especially with how little time they have before the Live. Both Amagis swiftly dodge any of the staff and backstage members running by, making sure everything is in order with what little time is left.

HiMERU and Kohaku’s strange behavior was still at the forefront of his mind, but talking with Hiiro made him not worry too much about it. He was telling him about the grades he got for one of his exams, which resulted in making Rinne remember that Hiiro was in his last year of high school. 

The thought warmed his heart, imagining the time when Hiiro would graduate and be given his diploma, and Rinne would be out in the audience screaming and wooing as he declared his love and pride for his younger brother, and maybe Niki will be with him, frantically trying to tell Rinne to “Shut up before we get kicked out!!!” while suffering from second-hand embarrassment. And on top of that, Hiiro would also happily scream back at him while on stage, and somewhere in the auditorium, Aira will cringe really badly. 

Within the coming months, Hiiro will graduate. 

Hiiro would most likely continue his work as an idol, but now he could do more. Rinne could bring Hiiro to his favorite pachinko- if not, Rinne would gladly bring a beer or two and have some brotherly bonding time. HiMERU would most likely be disappointed in him, but he can’t wait to see what kind of drunk Hiiro would be. (And record all of the funny things that would happen and send it to Aira)

All of that, well, that’s for future Rinne to handle. 

For now, they have a Live to perform. 

Reaching the room where the refreshments are, Rinne easily spotted Niki and Mayoi standing by the refreshment table, among other idols that are there for support. Niki, no surprise, was stuffing his face with the confectionaries there while Mayoi seemed to be nervously trying to get him to stop.

“Mayoi-senpai! Niki-san!” Hiiro called out first, raising his hand up to wave while walking over to them. His greeting caused Mayoi to squeak in surprise while Niki turned, about to give a greeting on his own when he spotted Rinne. 

“Heeeey~ I see a reaaally yummy cupcake~”

“NO! IT’S MINE!!” 

Rinne cackled loudly as he attempted to reach for the cupcake. He wasn’t going to actually take it, but it was hilarious having Niki divert the cupcake to all directions in hopes to avoid Rinne’s clutches. Meanwhile, Hiiro was watching the two with a rather fond expression. Mayoi looked just as nervous, glancing at all three of them while looking around the building warily. 

“Well, the Live is gonna start soon, so we really have to get going.” Hiiro told Mayoi while Rinne was still occupied with the cupcake. “Anzu-chan would get really anxious if she does not see everyone there.”

“She’s always been like that, constantly worried about everyone anyway. When does she ever stop working?” Rinne said as he finally stepped back from Niki, who now cradled the cupcake close to his chest like a child. 

“So now that that’s done, why don’t we-”

BOOM!!

The ground shook beneath their feet as the sound of something exploding came from the distance. What came immediately after were terrified screams coming from all around them. The people in the room they were in started screaming, crying, they left the room and more came in. 

But then there were more explosions and they were coming closer and closer- 

“NO-!”

Something pushed Rinne out of the way just before the ceiling above them broke and caved in. He was pushed forward, and unprepared, Rinne slammed against the floor rather roughly, probably bruising his hand when it landed the wrong way. The smell of drywall and dust filled his nostrils, but the sound of Hiiro screaming Mayoi’s name in shock was what finally pulled him out of his stupor and rolled over.

What greeted him made Rinne’s blood run cold. 

The specific part of the ceiling was right on top of them, but Mayoi had pushed them out of the way. It wasn’t just the drywall that fell, but also the chairs and furniture that were on the floor above them- with Mayoi directly underneath. But what shocked him the most was the blood that splattered beneath the debris. Mayoi’s arm was the only thing poking out from the mess but from where Rinne was laying, he spotted Mayoi’s wide eyes staring back at him- or more like, through him, as he remained stuck where he was beneath the ceiling with blood running down his face.

Mayoi… isn’t breathing.

Mayoi’s dead-

“MAYOI-SENPAI-!!!” Hiiro was howling his senior’s name, and Rinne numbly looked over to see Niki holding back Hiiro by the waist. There were heavy tears streaming down Hiiro’s cheeks, and something in Rinne snapped as he finally got to his feet, albeit shakily. The ground shook below them once more. There weren’t just explosions anymore, but gunshots surrounding them.

“We have to go-” Rinne’s body was moving on its own as his own mind was stuck with the image of Mayoi looking blankly at him. Hiiro was kicking and screaming when Rinne picked him up with no problem, and soon the trio ran out. Niki was uncharacteristically quiet, if anything he looked haunted. 

He wasn’t as close to Mayoi, unlike Niki and Hiiro were. Heck, he was pretty sure Mayoi avoided him like the plague. But he knew from conversations with Hiiro that Mayoi was the sweetest man alive, and that he was responsible for the choreography for all of the members. He looked out for them like a second parent, and even with his lack of social skills, he would always prioritize helping others in need.

It all the more made Mayoi’s death more heartbreaking.

How was he going to break it to Tatsumi and Aira? What was going to happen to ALKALOID? The four of them were like a family when it felt like the world was going against them. From underachievers to talented idols… What was to become of all that? To each of them? 

Everything was chaos, everyone was running and bumping into each other. He lost his grip on Hiiro a few times and he was scared when he couldn’t find Niki beside him. But they never stray far, and they ran. 

Where were the others? Did they ever discuss emergency plans on cases like this? Ibara probably did but Rinne was likely not listening at the time. Regardless, his priority was getting out of there-

But not without his friends. 

It was like battling with decisions one after another. No matter what, though, time stops for no one. Gunshots are still there, explosions are still there. People are dying.

He could focus on Hiiro and Niki, get the two of them out while the chaos still seemed to be largely present elsewhere. But it meant leaving the rest of ALKALOID and Crazy:B, even Valkyrie behind. He would have to spend time finding them- assuming they’re still in the green room, and somehow direct all of them through the crowd and to the nearest exit. 

But then it meant he can ensure everyone would still be with him and- 

Niki grabbed Rinne, dragging him down another hallway just in time before another- awfully close explosion happened. There were screams from both fear and pain, and to Rinne’s horror, he could hear the cries of names he does not recognize.

“N-Nii-san…” Hiiro was still crying, he was shaking so badly. Rinne had never seen Hiiro cry like this, not ever. “Ma-” The poor boy couldn’t even utter his name before breaking down into tears once more. 

“We can’t stay here.” Niki said, matter-of-factly. Rinne hated how serious he sounded even with the permanent horror etched on his expressions. Hearing that, however, it caused Hiiro to widen his eyes as he choked and gasped through his tears.

“B-But Aira and- Tatsumi-s-senpai- I CAN’T LEAVE THEM!”

“They’re smart! I’m sure they’ll also get out, but if we stay here we’ll die!” Niki said, but Rinne doesn’t believe him. Niki doubted he did, either. It’s all just fear and adrenaline pumping through their blood, with confusion and need for survival muddling with their morals. 

However, Hiiro was right. They can’t just leave their members behind. Mayoi- 

The thought of the purple-haired man nearly made Rinne vomit on the spot. He’s… dead, but the rest aren’t. And there’s still time, however much that is left. 

Rinne dabbled a lot in his life through gambling, but this would be the first time where he could be betting on the lives of not just other people, but his own. Roughly, where they are now, the nearest exit to the parking garage saved for idols and staff members alike is near, only some hallways and a floor below them. If the three of them went back to search for their friends, they could die in the crossfire. But if it’s only one person…

“Niki, bring Hiiro and get the hell out of here. I’ll go back for the others.” 

Hiiro was pretty much shoved into Niki’s arms. But to his relief, Niki was quick to hold Hiiro back as his younger brother began to thrash around once more, this time in shock and panic at the implication of Rinne’s words. “W-What are you gonna do?” Niki asked, but it wasn’t needed. They all knew what he was going to do. 

“It’ll only take a minute.” His voice was laced with confidence, despite the inside of Rinne’s chest drumming loudly due to the nerves and fear. There were still gunshots and screams, but he doesn’t want their last imagery of him to be one of cowardice. “I’ll come back.”

“NO! NII-SAN DON’T-!!” 

“You better!”

There was no more time to spare as Niki forcibly dragged Hiiro away by the arm- all the while Hiiro was trying to reach for Rinne with one outstretched hand, begging for him to stay, begging to not leave him behind. 

Rinne didn’t want to leave his brother behind. Not again. Not ever. But he isn’t- not technically. He’s just prioritizing their safety first. 

At least this way, Rinne only had to look out for himself as he started dashing towards the green room where he last saw the remaining members of their units, plus Valkyrie. 

There were less people now somewhat, but Rinne’s nostrils picked up the metallic scent of blood. Turning to another corner, he abruptly stopped when he saw a couple of bodies littering the hallway, all in various positions with blood covering their clothes and floor. Not only that, but the wall and ceilings around them were destroyed too, peeking into the rooms which revealed more dead bodies- this time with gunshot wounds.

Rinne felt cold fear gripping into his body, realizing that the perpetrator was just nearby, killing anyone and everyone they could find. There were still living people running around, but he passed by them in hopes of reaching the green room.

He stopped abruptly when he spotted a familiar sight, body leaned back against the wall with their head hung low. But the pink short hair, as well as the steampunk aesthetic of the idol uniform could only belong to one unit and one unit only.

Blood stained the pristine clothing made by the hands of Shu Itsuki, who now remained lifeless even when Rinne dropped to his knee in front of him. He shook his shoulder, as if that was going to help, and Rinne finally spotted the various gunshot wounds littered on his body.

It was like Mayoi, but Shu- 

He looked back into the hallway, and he spotted Mika not far from his Oshi-san. He was on the floor, though, face down. But the blood pooling below him and the wounds from the gun on his back told him all he needed to know.

Mayoi is dead. Shu is dead. Mika is dead. 

Where were the others? 

His need to find the others only increased as he bolted down the hall once more. He told Niki he would come back- told Hiiro that he would come back. He’ll come back with HiMERU, Kohaku, Aira and Tatsumi. Even if one or two of them get injured, he’ll carry them. He’ll protect them. He just needs to find them- 

Something exploded right in front of him as he turned to another corner, causing him to get launched back from the intensity of the blast as well as the heat. Fire blocked his path as the ceiling and walls caved in, preventing him from proceeding any further. The blast had launched Rinne back and right into some debris, hitting his head. 

The pain was immediate, and when Rinne instinctively went to touch it, he felt something moist. He pulled his hand back and saw with a semi-blurry vision that his hand was coated with blood. His blood. 

He was still processing what had happened just a few seconds ago when he heard something crack. However, Rinne was not fast enough when the ceiling above him broke and fell right on top of him. 

Pain surrounded every part of his body as the heavy ceiling crushed him. Everything was dark and everything hurt. He can’t move, he can’t breathe. 

Suddenly, he was remembering memories of before. When he and Hiiro were still in the village, when he first met Niki, where circumstances lead him to lead Crazy:B, when he performed on stage during MDM. 

Was this what they were referring to… Memories flashing before your eyes? 

Rinne wanted to laugh.

Is this really how his life was going to end? 

Perhaps Lady Luck wasn’t on his side…

How did this happen?

…

The last thing Rinne thought of, was holding a baby Hiiro in his arms before darkness took over his vision. 

The blaring alarm caused Rinne to snap his eyes open, his chest heaving in and out as if desperate for air. The pain from even breathing made Rinne sit up from his bed with one hand grasping onto the material of his shirt, the grip so tight his knuckles turned white. 

What was that just now? A bad dream? 

The alarm was still on, and it was giving Rinne a headache. He reached for his phone on the bedside table, tapping on the button to stop the alarm. Once done, it was silent around him with nothing but his heavy breathing. His eyes scanned the date and time on the screen. 

11.30 A.M. 

Monday, September 9 

There were so many confusing memories conflicting with each other, as well as gaps. Sure, it’s not like Rinne remembered what he ate for lunch yesterday… or the day before, but it didn’t feel so painful as he tried to make sense of the time.

… What did he have for lunch yesterday? Or better yet, what did he even do yesterday? Or the day before? Or the past week ? 

Rinne scrambled to find an answer, to fill in the gaps of his memory. Even as lazy as he was, he was still a leader. He’d still know if there were any upcoming events from meetings of last week. 

… Right, something about… SS? 

It had been in the talks for months now. 

That’s right, Crazy:B had been focusing on the upcoming event, barely taking any other jobs unless something interested Rinne. 

Why did it take him so long to remember such detail? 

Rinne looked around the room he shared with Niki. He was in Niki’s apartment, with no Niki in sight. Not surprising, Niki is likely working a shift in Cafe Cinnamon today. For some reason, Rinne felt like he was supposed to have a unit practice today- having it happen half an hour after Niki gets off from work just to piss him off. But the nightmare from earlier was still…

Immediately, Rinne had one arm hugging himself with the other pressed against the side of his head painfully, panting and grunting as clear images from the nightmare appeared in his mind. 

Mayoi died saving him. Hiiro’s tear-stained face. Niki’s haunted look. The blood covering Shu’s body. Mika. The explosion, the gunshots- the ceiling crushing him- 

Somehow, Rinne managed to not vomit right there and then. Niki would not be happy with him if they had to replace the sheets again. 

It’s just a nightmare. A vivid one, but something he could handle. Even if it left him unsettled… 

So Rinne forced himself to get off the bed and start his day. What he usually doesn’t do, he ended up doing in hopes of forgetting what he saw in his mind. He fixed the bed, did his morning routine of barely putting effort into washing his face and fixing his hair. He changed into his usual clothes. He then spent the next half an hour cleaning the apartment. He avoided the kitchen, though, not wanting to deal with Niki later on. 

Afterwards, he went out. 

Rinne didn’t know what to do at first. The plan of having a practice today wasn’t appealing, so he thought of slacking off. Maybe go for pachinko and do some betting, get a sweet prize for Niki later on. Maybe he should do something new today? He was sure his other members would appreciate the break today, even though their practice dates have more or less been spontaneous. 

He avoided going to Ensemble Square for the time being. The thought of seeing Mayoi, or even Shu and Mika made him feel sick. He knew they weren't dead, obviously, it was a bad dream. But it felt too real that Rinne doesn’t trust himself to act normal around them. How was he supposed to tell them if they were to ask what was up with him? ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I had a dream last night where I saw your dead body and it felt too real.’. What kind of bad omen does imagining the death of your colleague give? He’d be lucky if any one of them would look him in the eye if that ever happened. 

His feet eventually lead him to a fancy looking bakery shop. He looked up at the sign, seeing the semi-familiar font and name but never been interested in buying anything inside. From the looks of it, the pastries were probably a tad bit expensive, too. 

But hey, why the hell not, right? 

The store inside smelled of freshly baked goods. It was a strong but pleasant smell, making Rinne’s stomach grumble. Right, he hasn’t eaten anything at all. Still bothered by the bad dream, he probably won’t have the stomach to eat a full meal, so maybe a bread or two would help. He could probably stop by Cafe Cinnamon too, afterwards, feed Niki with bread from his own money.

Convinced, Rinne took a tray and plastic tongs and began to walk around, looking at the various options. It seemed like idols frequent this bakery a lot since no one seemed surprised to see Rinne there, which he was grateful for. He doesn’t know how he was going to respond if in the next interview he was suddenly asked why he decided to go to a fancy bakery when he had never done so before. Honestly, anything you do that ended up being out of place is immediately spotted by the media for some reason. 

“Amagi.”

His body immediately went rigid when a familiar voice called out to him. Turning around, Shu Itsuki stood before him with his own tray and tongs, except the tray had croissants on them. 

Shu Itsuki. Who is not dead. Standing in front of him. 

A sense of relief washed over him, but at the same time, Rinne became unsettled. But he easily slipped on a mask, a smirk forming on his face as he bounded over to the artist with a little bit of flourish in his step.

“Shu-kun~!”

“What are you doing here?” Despite the hostility in Shu’s tone, he doesn’t seem to be pissed off finding Rinne in the bakery. Perhaps annoyed, but it was more towards curiosity. “I would have never imagined you would be interested in coming here.”

“Ehhh… had money to splurge, so why the hell not?” Rinne lamely shrugged, still having that easy-going smirk on his face even though in the inside, all he could think about was Shu’s dead body and that his hand was on his shoulder, and no matter how much he shook him he wouldn’t wake up- 

“For a gambler like you? I could hardly believe it. You have been making rounds like some idiot. Do none of the pastries fit your standards, Amagi?” Shu snapped a little. It was honestly hard to take him seriously, especially with a tray of croissants right in front of him. 

“Different cravings.” Rinne lamely replied. At this point, Shu must have decided he had no energy to deal with Rinne’s shenanigans for the idol visibly had his shoulders sag in defeat.

“Would it help if I give you some recommendations so we can both leave and head to Ensemble Square?” 

“Not planning on heading to ES but… recommendations would be nice.”

Even though he complained all the way, Shu dragged Rinne around, pointing at the various pastries that he deemed ‘passable’. After a couple of minutes, the two were walking out of the bakery with their own pastries in a brown paper bag. 

“Amagi. It is not my place to say, but you truly look like…” Shu used one of his hands to vaguely gesture towards Rinne. “... I dare say, a mess.”

“Why, thank you! That’s actually a pretty nice compliment, coming from you.” Rinne wasn’t even trying to hide his odd mood from Shu, but he didn’t know if he would want to tell him about it, considering Shu was one of the major reasons for it anyway. Fortunately for him, Shu didn’t pry, instead getting annoyed at Rinne’s response.

They exchanged a couple of words then, and Shu had to go. Rinne waved him goodbye and watched as Shu disappeared from his vision. Once he’s gone, Rinne didn’t stop the heavy sigh that left his lips. 

Cool, he didn’t vomit upon seeing Shu. But he did admit that it made him lose his appetite now that imagery was brought up once more. It was starting to get annoying at how it kept on popping up in his mind when for once, he just wanted some peace and quiet. 

He should have brought his earpieces along. 

Much to his displeasure, the more Rinne walked, the clearer the nightmare became. But it didn’t just stop at the… supposed day of their Live. It extended before that. Of the weeks before that day, vague memories of practicing with his unit, coming to CRAFTMONSTER sessions to bother the members, even being invited to have a movie night with Hiiro’s unit. It was weird. 

Rinne used his free hand to pinch the skin on his other hand, feeling the sharp pain it brought.

Okay, so he wasn’t in dreamland anymore. This was reality. 

… So why did his nightmare feel so real? 

The touch. The smell. The sounds. All of that felt real.

So what the fuck was happening?

He would sound like a crazy man if he brought this up with Niki- or anyone, really. What annoyed him the most was how much this stupid dream was bothering him for no reason. Sure, maybe he was a bit shaken over seeing the deaths of three of his colleagues but it’s not like it was real. Rinne would know the difference between the fake and reality.

But… it’s not just their deaths, either.

Rinne died, too.

And that felt real.

The pain, the feeling of his bones getting crushed, the lack of oxygen. The seconds of experiencing all of that before it just… fades away into nothing. 

It was unnerving. Rinne wasn’t actually dead, but even though it was nothing more than a dream, that was probably the closest he had felt to dying.

… Or, ‘died’.

Rinne had been close to death in the past, most of it through starvation or the rare cases of being heavily wounded due to a bad hunt back in his village. But he had never experienced death. 

He didn’t know if he should count his bad dream as one. 

There was an empty bench by one of the buildings. Rinne made a beeline for it and sat down, letting the paper bag sit on his lap as he leaned back and scanned the streets, watching the semi-empty pavements. 

It was a Monday, so there weren’t many people. Most likely in school or in their 9-5 jobs. Real people who are alive and breathing and well.

God, how exhausting. 

Rinne didn’t know how long he had sat on the bench, but it was long enough that Rinne had flinched when he felt his phone vibrate. 

The first thing he saw when he opened his phone was the time. 1.30 P.M. He cringed a little, realizing how much time had passed lost in his own thoughts. The second was a direct message from HiMERU himself. 

A direct message. Something HiMERU never does.

Confused, Rinne unlocked his phone to look at the message properly in Hold-Hands.

HiMERU: Are we not having practice today?

Rinne stared blankly. Their practice sessions have been spontaneous, never fixed which was common even when they first started. How did HiMERU guess they were going to have practice today if Rinne hadn’t felt like shit?

Rinne: nah dont feel like it 

HiMERU: What did you have for lunch? 

The response was immediate, which wasn’t necessarily out of character for HiMERU. He always wanted to get straight to the point. But his questions were really out of place. 

Rinne: uhh, havent eaten yet

Rinne: i bought bread though 

HiMERU: Bread?

Rinne: yea, u want some too? 

HiMERU went silent after that. The more time that passed, the more nervous Rinne felt. The feeling of uncertainty and panic began to rise once more, his brain vulnerable to remember the nightmare again. The vibration from a notification felt like a break from it. 

HiMERU: Did you have a nightmare?  

Rinne stared down at his phone, mouth hung open in shock and confusion. But he didn’t even get the chance to respond when HiMERU immediatelly followed up with another question, one that made his blood run cold.

HiMERU: Did you die? 

The feeling of being crushed before his breath gave way... 

He didn’t realize he was struggling to breathe when his phone started vibrating once more, this time, it was an incoming call from HiMERU himself.

He stared at his screen for a moment, before he pressed on the accept call button and brought the device to his ear.

“Amagi?” HiMERU asked.

“What the fuck is going on?” Was Rinne’s response, his voice trembling.

HiMERU didn’t reply for a moment, but Rinne could hear him breathing. Thinking. 

“Meet HiMERU in the practice room.” 

The call ended.

Chapter Text

Walking through the empty halls filled Rinne with dread and anxiety. Most of it was due to his fear of stumbling into Mayoi, Shu or Mika. But majortiy of it was just… 

How did HiMERU know? Even with so little context through their text and call, with HiMERU even refusing to elaborate, he was able to tell that Rinne both had a nightmare and died in that nightmare. The bit about the practice and lunch was a little weird, too. 

Rinne would be stupid to not realize there’s something going on. The question is, was Rinne prepared for it? 

Despite purposely taking slow steps, he eventually reached the practice room that was pretty much used by Crazy:B. Of course, they don’t own the practice room, but it became an unofficial rule to not use the rooms frequented by other units.

And he could already tell someone was inside through the translucent window on the door.

There’s no point avoiding the inevitable, so Rinne opened the door and entered. 

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but HiMERU was wearing the practice attire and already had speakers set up. As if he had been expecting the practice session today.

“Lock the door.”

“What are you, my boss?” Rinne snipped back, but there was nothing funny about this. He did what he was told anyway, and he felt strangely out of place wearing his outside clothes with a paper bag of cold bread tucked in one arm. 

“… You’re going to have to be open minded about this. HiMERU does not have the pleasure of the others being here.” 

Others? 

It felt like they were in some kind of Western stand-off. The way HiMERU stood straight with his arms crossed, eyeing Rinne with a deep glare (though that could just be his usual expression). Now it made Rinne feel awkward with only a paper bag filled with bread as his emotional support. Seriously, he feels like he’s missing a bunch of context.

“Tell HiMERU what you dreamt last night.” 

Rinne was glad to be holding something at least, finding a way to distract himself as he not-so-subtly looked away from HiMERU. He’d already done a lot of remembering, but it’s different actually having to say it out loud. Because if he verbalized out loud what he saw… it would feel like it’s real. 

HiMERU noticed Rinne’s hesitation, making him narrow his eyes further. He didn’t even wait for Rinne to respond, taking a step forward so surprising that it made Rinne take a hesitant step back, as if wanting to put space between them. 

“The last thing you remember… It was December 24th. Crazy:B were getting ready to perform during the SS Finals. ALKALOID and Valkyrie were sharing the same green room as Crazy:B.”

The more HiMERU talked, the more Rinne’s head started to hurt. Beyond a simple migraine at this point, it felt like someone had stabbed through his head continuously without any signs of stopping. HiMERU didn’t stop, no, he only watched as Rinne struggled to keep himself standing as he continued to speak. Each word provokes pain more and more. 

“Then you and your brother went to find Shiina and Ayase.”

Mayoi’s scream as he pushed Rinne out of harm’s way. Niki dragging Hiiro away. Hiiro reaching out for him, begging.

“And there was a terrorist attack.” 

Gunshots. Explosions. They were ringing all over Rinne’s ears as the nightmare he experienced returned to his mind. But images of their deaths- of his brother’s crying face kept on repeating over and over and over again and then the ceiling falling on top of him and feeling his bones crush-

“It’s just a nightmare… It’s not real… They’re still alive…” Rinne croaked out, unable to keep standing as he fell on his knees, the paper bag dropped with a dull ‘thud’. His knees hurt from the impact, but it was nothing compared to the neverending pain from his own head as he rejected the images- rejected the idea that for some reason, it was real- that they had died for real- 

“Amagi. Breathe.” 

HiMERU was kneeling in front of him, both hands on his shoulders then. Rinne felt a sick satisfaction at seeing HiMERU’s normally calm expression crack into one of panic, worry and desperation. It’s not everyday he could make HiMERU crack like that, but at the moment his glee was overtaken by the overwhelming pain that wouldn’t seem to stop. 

It was like Rinne was immortal, but his body was still susceptible to the feeling of pain. The constant pounding on the side of his head like someone constantly tossing his head towards a wall, smacking him against the rough surface over and over. 

“All of us are still alive. The people that died that day- they’re still alive now.”

“W-Wha…?”

“We’re stuck in a timeloop. No one truly stays dead. What you saw… it was real. But it was from a previous timeline. We’re all alive.”

All of HiMERU’s words were like something from a science fiction. Timeloops? Dead people coming back alive? Rinne wanted to laugh at his face, make some dumb joke about how much HiMERU kept on reading that his mind conjured such ideas. But the fact HiMERU was desperate to make Rinne believe him, had even told him to keep an open mind… Even guessing the context of his… nightmare. 

Rinne would truly have to be an idiot if he continues to deny such possibilities. 

And a part of him really wanted him to deny it.

He really did. 

But Rinne isn’t that dumb. 

… The pain lessened after Rinne decided to accept this bizarre situation he’s in now. It left him exhausted, both mentally and physically, not wanting to move a single muscle as if afraid he was going to start going through hell once more. HiMERU said nothing as he helped Rinne, semi-drag-semi-lift, to the mirror wall where Rinne rested his back against. HiMERU collected the paper bag on the floor and went to sit beside him. 

They were silent, which Rinne was grateful for. There was still something pressing against his head, not painful but not comfortable either, but it was miles better than earlier. 

“So… you sure you aren’t fucking with me about the timeloop thing?” Rinne attempted to make his tone lighter, like making a crappy joke. HiMERU didn’t even look at him, staring off towards one of the walls as he sighed. He opened his mouth, about to say something, but paused. 

“... HiMERU wishes he was. Truly. But what HiMERU said is true. We are in some kind of timeloop.” 

Rinne dug into the paper bag, pulling out a butter bread pastry thing. He bit into it, finally having the appetite to eat something after the shit he just went through. It was pretty much cold and did not have the fluffiness he thought it was going to have, but it was tasty. He took another bite.

“You said ‘others’. Are you saying it’s not just us that knows about it?”

HiMERU nodded. Rinne noticed that he was messing with his fingers now, particularly touching the tip of his index finger. He never did that before. 

“Yes. Other than us two, Oukawa, Ayase, Shiratori and…” He paused, face scrunched up in an unreadable emotion. “... Kazehaya knows about the time loops. It would be much easier to explain if everyone was here, but rest assured that everyone had also shared their hesitation and pain in accepting this situation… even HiMERU.” 

With the identities revealed, something in Rinne suddenly made much more sense now. He was starting to remember his night… the previous timeline more clearly. He remembered how he noticed HiMERU and Kohaku being quite close and always spending time somewhere. He remembered how Aira kept on clinging onto Tatsumi- though not entirely strange, it was still odd that it just… happened. For Mayoi, he kept on looking around, more paranoid. Things he had brushed aside merely because he thought it was nothing to worry about. 

The entire time, they had known it was a time loop? 

“You must have a lot of questions.”

“Too many.” Rinne confirmed, taking another bite of his bread. “But what I’m more curious about is how did you know?”

“Know what?” 

“Y’know… how’d you know that I had that nightmare? Or actually- how did you know I was going to like… ‘wake up’? Bah- It’s hard to explain.”

HiMERU, surprisingly, gave him a look of sympathy. He nodded as if understanding the confusion riddled in Rinne’s mind. “It would be much easier when everyone gets here. But HiMERU can at least answer your first question.”

He vaguely did a hand gesture as he started explaining. “This was not the first time loop we experienced. HiMERU has been through enough time loops to know that today, September 9, we will be having practice. At exactly 1.26 P.M, you would message the group chat with Crazy:B, saying that we will be having practice at 4 P.M. But instead of practice, you would want to drag everyone to a ramen shop. However, Shiina would say you already ate lunch which was cheap sushi. By the way, you should really fix your meal times. It’s horrendous.”

That was… oddly specific. But having HiMERU say that, Rinne felt a sense of deja vu as if having experienced that same scenario before.

“So, when you failed to message at that time, HiMERU realized that something was wrong.”

“What, didn’t expect me to not be part of the loop?”

It was meant to be a joke, but HiMERU actually looked to be thinking deeply.

“How about you rest for now. The others will come and HiMERU would rather have your brain not on the brink of a meltdown as we explain everything to you.” 

It took about an hour or more when there was a knock on the door. Rinne felt himself freeze up- he had been laying on the floor with his eyes closed. Not sleeping, but heeding HiMERU’s words to rest up. He didn’t know how he was supposed to act now that he knew he was in a time loop. Wouldn’t there be paradoxes if he acted out of place? 

HiMERU got up from the floor and went to get the door. Rinne blinked as he watched Aira and Kohaku enter- the blonde clinging onto Kohaku’s arm like what he was doing to Tatsumi before. Based on the Yumenosaki uniform on Aira, the blonde had left school and went straight here. Kohaku, on the other hand, wore his usual clothes.

“Rinne-han?” Kohaku looked incredibly shocked at seeing Rinne in the practice room with them. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh, joined the club?” Rinne groaned when he went to sit up, feeling how sore his back had gotten. Okay, next time, bring pillows. “Somethin’ bout’ time loops and shit.” 

Kohaku just blinked, dumbfounded. “That shouldn’t be possible.”

Before Rinne could ask- or be offended, either one, HiMERU had immediately swooped in, gently dragging the two boys in and closing the door behind them. “We’ll talk more about that later. Where’s Tatsumi?”

“Tatsumi-han is staying with Mayoi-han.” Kohaku explained. Aira went to drop his bag down by the mirror before resuming his spot beside Kohaku, adding; “Mayo-senpai looked extremely shaken up. Tattsun-senpai is staying with him for now to calm down.” 

There was suddenly a pang of pain in Rinne’s head as a memory of Mayoi dying appeared. It seemed his behavior was noticed by the other three as they looked over at him with various degrees of worry on their faces.

“It’s nothin’.” Rinne waved the pain off. “But… you said Mayoi-chan was shaken?”

“Mhm… The previous timeline was one of the… scariest.” 

… When had Aira been so quiet? He used to be just as loud as Hiiro, but now with his mind literally opened, Rinne realized how… anxious he seemed constantly. It was like he harbored some of Mayoi’s personality and it just stuck. Speaking of him…

“I- I saw Mayoi-chan died-”

He immediately stopped when Aira’s breath hitched, eyes widened so much it could pop out of his eye sockets. His grip on Kohaku tightened a lot more by then.

“B-But he’s fine now! Right? He’s… alive.” 

Kohaku held Aira close, slowly leading him to sit down near where Rinne was. “That would explain Mayoi-han’s behavior. He just needs time to calm down, then.”

Seeing as now Rinne knew about the time loops, there was no reason to keep it a secret from him. But… the whole situation was confusing as it was frustrating. More than that, Rinne came to a realization that the others have gone through more time loops than he had.

How many times did the timeline reset? How many loops have these people- these kids gone through? What… What exactly happened to those timelines? Rinne had died, causing him to remember in the next one. Did it mean… they had died too? 

The thought sickened him. He was aware of Kohaku’s job with Double Face, even more aware that he had punched more people than he probably should for someone of his age. But the fact that Kohaku had actually died? Rinne had one heck of a time experiencing it through, including the aftermath. How much pain did he suffer? 

What about Aira? The anxiety that never seemed to leave him, constantly clinging onto someone- or anyone, as if afraid they would disappear if he let go. What happened to Aira in the previous timelines for him to become that kind of boy? 

How many timelines? How many days, weeks, years have they spent, relieving the same 365 days until the next loop? 

Rinne from a year ago would never think he would care so much about the others, but when he saw Aira trembling, he couldn't help but gently place one arm over his shoulder, almost like a side-hug. To his surprise (and pain), Aira immediately pressed himself closer to Rinne, shutting his eyes tightly while fiddling with the material of his uniform blazer. 

“How many timelines did you guys go through…?” Rinne weakly asked, unable to find it himself to raise his voice even a smidge around Aira. 

HiMERU had an uncomfortable look on his face as he slowly answered. “… HiMERU was the first to come to his senses 126 timelines ago.” 

126 timelines? 

“It’s a lot to explain. But I’m glad you aren’t freaking out so much, Rinne-han.” Kohaku looked gratefully at Rinne with a tired smile. It was foreign, Kohaku wouldn’t willingly smile at him like that. Kohaku scooched around until he was at the other side of Rinne, and the redhead could only timidly lift his other arm up as Kohaku pressed himself to his side, his eyes closing.

This was a weird development. Kohaku would never have let Rinne touch him in any way. No hugs or headpats. It felt like he had been living in some lie, felt like there was a huge gap in his memories because the last time he saw Kohaku, at least… how he remembered him, Kohaku was complaining and pushing him away because Rinne had wanted to ruffle his hair as a greeting. So to have Kohaku actually reach out to him this time and not think anything weird of it…

A small chuckle surprised Rinne. HiMERU was looking at them with amusement in his eyes.

“HiMERU should feel bad that you have no idea what’s happening… But it’s priceless to see the expression on your face.”

Rinne huffed, subconsciously bringing the two teens closer to him. “S’not like I’m complaining, anyway. I’m still expecting answers.”

“Of course. HiMERU will make sure to give you a proper explanation. But not now.” As he said that, he checked his phone, furrowing his eyebrows a bit. “The last timeline was… rough.”

Rinne looked back down at Aira, noticing that the blonde was actually sleeping soundly. He didn’t see it before, but there were some deep eyebags under Aira’s usually youthful eyes. It only made him wince. “Was it that bad?”

“It’s not just bad, it was the worst we’ve experienced. The scale of it was humongous…” HiMERU did not look happy at all having to say that, crossing his arms. He paced back and forth, seemingly caught in his own thoughts yet continuing to converse with Rinne. Then he suddenly stopped, facing Rinne once more. “For today, we’ll spend the day resting. Tatsumi has decided to stay with Ayase to help him recover from the previous timeline. I’d say you should, too.” 

Rinne was about to respond with something snarky, but stopped when he realized something. 

“So… Hiiro and Niki are…”

“No, they are not aware of the timeloops. The two will continue on their life as per normal.” HiMERU answered before Rinne could finish his sentence. 

The thought doesn’t make Rinne feel any better about this situation. Despite so many of them having been aware of the time loops, it doesn’t feel right that Hiiro and Niki are the only ones left in the dark. He reckoned bringing it up to them, but he figured it wasn’t going to work. If it did, Rinne probably would have known about the time loops before they got to this point. 

He assumed there was some kind of rule set in place, allowing each of them to be able to be aware of it. But that’s probably for another day. 

Even though it happened in a previous timeline, Rinne could still feel the phantom pain of being crushed alive. Having his eyes closed, even for a brief moment, forced him to imagine the dead faces of his colleagues. Perhaps he does need the rest after all. 

Having Aira and Kohaku under each arm, it made Rinne feel at ease. He was always such a sucker for physical touch, even if everyone else around him was annoyed by it. Knowing that the two youngest were at least here right now, Rinne didn’t have to think.

September 10th 

The next day arrived sooner than later. It was honestly a struggle to pry Aira off of him, but Kohaku managed to do so. The biggest challenge, in Rinne’s opinion, was dealing with Niki without accidentally blurting out that they were in a time loop.

(“Even if you did mention it, it wouldn’t matter.” HiMERU said. 

“How’d you know?” Rinne asked, curious.

HiMERU just looked away.)

But it was also pretending that everything was fine and dandy when in reality, or in this reality? It was not. It only took a couple of months ago for Rinne and Niki to truly be comfortable with each other to share their demons and whatnot. It was just too easy reading each other, especially after the trials they got through together. 

Rinne hated having to lie to Niki and pretend around him. He hated it before, he still does now. But Rinne needed answers and he still needed to understand the full story of what’s happening. 

Hence, why he found himself back in the practice room they were in yesterday. Except, everyone was now present. 

Aira had come in his uniform, as expected, and was clinging to Tatsumi who was also holding Mayoi’s hand. Rinne thought he wouldn’t be able to face Mayoi properly, but he found he didn’t have to when Mayoi himself began to panic when he spotted Rinne. It seemed that Mayoi was more scared of Rinne than Rinne was of Mayoi. Kohaku sat near Rinne, his arms crossed and with a blank look in his expression. Everyone was sitting on the floor nearest to the mirror, with various snacks and drinks on the floor that Rinne actually bought (using Niki’s money). HiMERU looked like he was dreading to start the discussion.

“Rinne-san, how are you feeling, by the way?” Tatsumi was the first to ask with his kind smile. It was strange to think that Tatsumi, once upon a timeline, had also died prior to being aware... Also, were they on a first name basis? Tatsumi looked tired, but out of everyone he still seemed like the most stable. “It must have been a terrifying experience.”

“Uh, yea. It was.” Rinne awkwardly put it out. Tatsumi only continued to smile, then turned to face HiMERU.

“Since everyone is now here, perhaps we should fill Rinne in on what’s happening and everything we know?”

HiMERU sighed. Less from exasperation, more from exhaustion. “It’s going to be a lot, HiMERU hopes you’re aware of this, Amagi.”

“Yessir.” Rinne lamely saluted, much to HiMERU’s chagrin. He sighed once more, before starting the much-needed explanation. 

“The time loop only occurs if any of the idols under Ensemble Square died.”

…

“Maybe we should have put it more lightly?” Tatsumi suggested, only to receive a glare from HiMERU. 

Rinne just blinked, trying to process such a simple statement into his brain with little success. “I- wait- huh?!” 

“For some reason, a time loop happens if one or more idols die. It could be anyone.” Kohaku took over the explanation, seeming to have woken up from his thoughts. “Doesn’t matter if it’s only one member or a whole unit. UNDEAD could all die at the same time and the time loop will occur minutes after. Though there are rare cases when hours would pass, instead.” 

So when HiMERU mentioned that 26 timelines had passed…

“Precisely what you’re thinking, Amagi. It meant the previous timelines we have been in, it was reset when an idol we know died.” HiMERU frowned, pressing the side of his head with his hand. “... 2wink, Eden, even Valkyrie. There were many more.”

Valkyrie had died in the last timeline, Rinne remembered. But it felt different receiving information that the idols they have met over the past year or so had also suffered the same? Does that mean Ra*bits had also fallen fate to this curse?

“Wait, so, how many times have I died then?”

“Once. In the last timeline.” Answered Mayoi, who was still avoiding eye-contact.

“That’s another thing we would like to bring up.” Tatsumi continued on. “It seems like ALKALOID and Crazy:B are special from the rest of the other units. Because when we all died for the first time, we all became aware of the time loops. However, the other units remained unaware of it even after their deaths in the other timelines.” 

“So you’re sayin’ that Hiiro and Niki haven’t died yet?”

What greeted him was silence after that, causing Rinne to look at all of them with a confused expression. “What? Did I say something weird?”

“No- well… How do I put this…?” Tatsumi looked over at HiMERU, as if asking for help. HiMERU just sighed, turning to face Rinne to continue.

“We made the deduction that for us to become aware, our deaths have to be isolated. Meaning, we all died by ourselves in our own respective timeline prior to being aware of the next. No other idols have died alongside us, or at the same time. And that’s what’s been happening through each and every one of us.”

“Until you.” Aira softly said. He didn’t seem to be making an accusation, but he did look curious even with his tired expression, leaning onto Tatsumi’s shoulder.

Rinne blinked owlishly at them. “I don’t get it.”

“Amagi, you died when so many people died as well. Ayase even died before you did.”

The mention of Mayoi made the purple-haired man squeak, hiding his face on the back of Tatsumi’s shoulder as if he didn’t want to be spotted. 

“Yet somehow, you became aware. So our theory of having our deaths be isolated is essentially false, meaning that there could be a chance your brother and Shiina had actually died too in the previous timeline, but have not become aware.”

“And if that was the case, it could also mean that it’s not definite that Hiiro-san or Niki-san could be aware like us, if they were to die, as it was possible for their deaths to happen in the previous timeline. Though all of that is just speculation and perhaps your case was only a one-time thing. We can’t be sure that something changed, though.”

It made sense… somewhat. Honestly, Rinne was still trying to figure everything out but he was getting it, slowly but surely. Maybe. Yet he doesn’t believe Hiiro or Niki could have died. “I can’t confirm it for myself, I sent Niki and Hiiro off before I went to search for you guys.” However, he doesn’t have the evidence to support that. So all of that is just based on ‘what ifs’ now. 

“We were expecting a time loop to happen, so we all stayed in the green room. But Mika-san wanted to find Hiiro-san, so he left. And Shu-san didn’t want to leave him, so he followed.” 

If Mika and Shu had remained in the green room then… 

No, Rinne realized it probably wouldn’t have mattered so much. But still, what if Shu and Mika had been aware like them? They would have to remember the feeling of dying to gunshots, before suddenly waking up in a new timeline. Mayoi needed a whole day to rest, after all. 

He supposed the saving grace of this fucked up situation is that those that aren’t aware don’t have to remember the pain of dying in the previous timelines. 

“Still, it’s just speculation. It would be unusual if Amagi’s brother or Shiina were unable to become unaware like us. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it’s only the members of Crazy:B and ALKALOID. It’s just a matter of time until all members become aware.”

A beat of silence after that, allowing Rinne to process the information.

“Okay.”

“... Okay?”

“Okay.” Rinne repeated, looking at all of them with a toothy grin. “So, what’s the plan? Surely you guys got something cooking before I became aware.” 

Kohaku actually chuckled a little, the sound making Rinne feel lighter. “Rinne-han is really eager despite everything…”

“It’s a nice change of pace.” Tatsumi smiled, though it looked strained.

“In terms of plans, we want to identify the Mastermind behind these time loops. We deduced that this Mastermind is aware of the many idols and units within Ensemble Square at the very least. However, that’s as far as we got. Even though time loops back only for this year, the date we get looped back to is randomized. We could be in Spring in the next timeline, or Winter in the timeline after. Our deadline is not even clear, either, since the deaths of the idols happen spontaneously. HiMERU also learned that while everyone generally follows the same schedule for each of the 365 days of this year, it could easily change based on our actions.”

“That’s a lot of variables…” Rinne can’t help but smirk though, as the prospect of all this only reminded him of the games he’s familiar with. It’s like rolling a dice, except instead of rolling the dice to get the number, he rolls the dice to give him the best set of dates to loop back to in the next timeline. And not just that, but the events aren’t exactly fixed, either… 

“Whoever this Mastermind is, he’s dangerous. He could control the flow of time whenever he wants to. And his motive is still unclear.”

“Except somehow not wanting the idols to die.” Tatsumi added, looking at Kohaku. “I have been trying to make sense of our Mastermind’s motives behind every time loop, but nothing makes sense.”

It seemed the group had been discussing this for who knows how many timelines now. It made Rinne realize how… close they are together. It was rather recent that Crazy:B and ALKALOID started intermingling with one another more, but that was only a recent change. Most of the time, they were separate doing their own things. It didn’t help that they were also from different agencies, so for them to collaborate it was a once in a blue moon occasion.

With Rinne aware, he saw how close they seem to depend on each other.

The way HiMERU took charge, glancing over at the others with worried eyes. The way Tatsumi held Aira and Mayoi close to him, acting as the pillar of support for the others who seemed to have grown weaker. Kohaku had oddly been sitting close to him the entire time, never really doing anything but always looking over at him as if to check he was there. 

They always had other people for support. The other units, their own friends and circles, even the agencies. But now, they were completely and utterly alone. Even if they seek help from other people, it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. They would just forget about it in the next timeline.

Is that why they’re so tired? Because they had to depend on themselves and on each other to understand what kind of fucked up situation they are in? Pretend that everything was fine around other people so they don’t worry? 

“Any guesses on who our Mastermind could be?” Rinne asked when the silence stretched for too long. 

“No… But they had to at least be aware of the idols under Ensemble Square, so…” 

“We don’t know his motive, and we don’t know the full extent of his skills. The only thing we have going on is that he doesn’t seem to know we are aware of the time loops.”

That was kind of reassuring, at least. Rinne doesn’t like to think that someone with such power was looking at his every move all the time.

“Which brings to the next point, that we can not have our position be compromised. So we have to pretend to live our lives as per normal throughout the year. So our usual practice sessions, Lives…” 

Rinne opened his mouth.

“Before you ask, you don’t have to think so much about it. Just… act normal.” Kohaku lamely shrugged.

“Which is a hassle in and of itself.” Quipped HiMERU, causing Rinne to snort in laughter.

They talked for a bit more- well, Tatsumi and HiMERU were the ones leading the conversation, answering Rinne’s every question with ease as they themselves are experienced enough to know. The others remained quiet, but Aira had decided to move so he was now pressed against Kohaku’s side, hugging his arm. Mayoi had taken a nap, curled into a little ball with his head resting on Tatsumi’s thigh. Tatsumi himself gently caressed Mayoi’s hair.

Such gentle yet simple actions, how did Rinne never notice it before?

Most of what is needed to be told has been shared, so Rinne asked questions just to quell his curiosity.

(“So if I purposely stab myself-” “HiMERU would leave you to bleed to death. But also, wounds do not transfer. So don’t think about it.” "Okay so, what if I lose my virgini-" "Stop.")

That seemed to be it, for the most part. Tatsumi and HiMERU held thoughtful looks, as if trying to remember what else needed to be said. 

“I think that’s all of it.” Tatsumi finally said. “Just remember that the timeline can loop at any point without our knowing. Anyone could die, even us, and the timeline would reset.”

“At any date within this year, right?” Rinne asked, mainly for his own sake.

“Precisely.”

That was going to suck, as much as it excites him. The timeline just had a reset yesterday, what if the next timeline was mid-February? Or even July? There’s no set date of the next timeline, or the date of the deadlines, either. He supposed the others have gotten used to it but…

Seriously, why does the time loop work this way? Wouldn’t it be better to just reset to the same day? 

His other questions were answered too. Most prominent being; What does he do about Hiiro and Niki?

The answer; Be your loud and annoying self. 

After that, the others had to go. Tatsumi has a meeting with one of his circles- something about gardens today, and Aira needed to go back to the dorms before Eichi or Rei got too worried. Kohaku himself had Double Face practice later tonight. HiMERU decided to go back to his own apartment to make some personal checklists for himself to prepare for this timeline.

Mayoi had looked at Rinne, practically staring holes into him before Tatsumi called his name and he, too, left.

Rinne was left alone in the practice room, alone with his thoughts and alone to deal with it. 

September 11th 

It was getting easier accepting the reality that they were in a time loop almost to a degree that it was laughable. But even with that revelation, Rinne ended up being at a loss of what to do.

Act normal, they said, but how does one act normal? Rinne doesn’t even act normal even before realizing his life was stuck in a loop. And now he had to worry that maybe, this Mastermind knew of everyone’s schedules and behavior for each day of the year. Every possible action, it could lead to stepping on a landmine that could endanger all of them. 

But Rinne was tired.

From all the thinking and the memories of the previous timeline still fresh. It got easier, though, greeting Niki in the morning. He managed to ruffle Hiiro’s hair when they passed in the hallways of ES, and he found Shu and Mika talking outside (which he also greeted, in his annoying and normal way). So, really, there doesn’t seem to be anything to worry so much about. 

Niki genuinely had some plans with his shuffle unit, reviving A to Z for some commercial, so Rinne decided to just not host practice for the day. However, it meant that he had nothing to do except for loitering around. 

Of all the things Rinne expected to feel after knowing the shit he was in, bored was not in the list. 

Again, laughable. 

Why does half of the idols he ended up knowing have to still be in school? It left him bored as he roamed the halls of ES, trying to find something to do or someone to bother. 

His feet eventually lead him to one of the storage rooms for Rhythm Link. There is one for each agency, spanning from how many rooms are needed, but they’re mainly used by idols to store their costumes when not needed or perhaps in case they decide to revive a certain event. He remembered a locker filled with just Crazy:B’s outfits from their various Lives, giving him a sense of pride before unashamedly entering the storage room.

Rinne didn’t expect anyone to be inside, again, it’s a storage room for old costumes. But he was nonetheless surprised to find Kuro Kiryu.

The idol was seated on one of the two plush seats with a costume in his hands. He had looked up when the door opened, and based on the slight widening of his eyes, he seemed to be surprised to find Rinne at the other side of the door.

“Yo.” Rinne lamely waved, entering the room. The storage space had been kept relatively clean, and looking around, he could see various costumes organized and inside of plastic covers to prevent dusting and wear. 

“Amagi.” Kuro greeted back with a nod. “I did not expect to see you here.”

“Neither did I, do you mind?” Rinne gestured vaguely to the empty plush seat beside Kuro’s. The man glanced over at the seat, thinking quietly to himself for a few moments before nodding. With permission, the gambler plopped down on the seat, sighing in relief now that he’s giving his poor feet rest from walking all over the place.

Rinne doesn’t know Kuro all that well. Other than greetings in passing, Rinne barely interacted with him (well... ignoring what happened at MDM last summer).

Although, right now Kuro isn’t stitching or sewing anything. He was just staring at a costume still clutched in his hands, his face telling Rinne that the man was reminiscing about something. The way Kuro was hunched over, fingers gently tracing the material as if it was a precious artifact, Rinne does not recognize the man that he thought always harbor the word ‘Manly’ or ‘Tough’. 

Rinne took a closer look at the costume in his hand. It was definitely an Akatsuki costume, he recognized the familiar palette of red and white within a kimono as well as the fur trimmed bit. But it also looked different in design as a whole, with black and yellow accents on the front. Red seemed to be the main color, too. 

This was the old Akatsuki uniform that the unit often dressed in, about two years ago. Rinne had seen it in videos posted online in his research to learn more about idols, coming across Akatsuki’s performances during it. He had never seen the unit perform in the costume personally, but even Rinne could recognize the authenticity of Akatsuki’s aesthetic even within their costumes. 

Kuro briefly flicked his gaze up to Rinne, noticing his staring. “Probably wondering what I’m doing?”

“Honestly, yea. You look like you’re at a funeral.”

The man actually laughed a little, probably from how unexpected it was but Rinne considered it a win in his book. Kuro’s expression was now lighter, and Rinne could see a brief look of gratitude for the distraction.

“I’m just reflecting, really. You recognize the uniform, right?”

“Yep. That’s the old uniform.”

Kuro nodded. 

They were back to being silent afterwards. It was not one of tension or uncomfortableness, though Rinne wasn’t sure what to call it. He would still want to have some kind of background music to at least fill the silence, but it wasn’t so bad. Rinne could leave, honestly, he doesn’t have much business staying here with Kuro. But he also doesn’t have any business outside of that, and he knew everyone else was busy doing their own things for the day.

Reflecting on the past two days, Rinne still can’t believe his life had turned this way.

He may have handled way better like what the others said, but after everyone left, Rinne would be a liar if he said he was okay. Because he was not. Who would be okay if they were told their life is stuck in a time loop?

It still seemed unbelievable at times. But if it weren’t for the others being there, literally having experienced it 126 times… He can’t imagine how many times they had to experience watching their friends die. 

He sneaked a glance at the other, watching Kuro’s expression shift every once in awhile but never moving to anything else as he was lost deep in his thoughts. How many times did Kuro die? Or his unit? 

Rinne wasn’t prepared for the inevitability of watching the people he had come to know die.

He thought back of the previous timeline. It was still fuzzy in some bits, but he vividly remembered the last day. If what HiMERU said was true that the scale of the previous incident was the worst they experienced, Rinne wondered how worse it could get.

It was such a gruesome day. There were so many idols around, so many staff members and fans. All of those people, the majority of them, must have died at the hands of terrorism or the building falling apart around them. He wondered what their reactions were, realizing that it was happening again. That there are people dying again. That there was going to be a timeloop… again.

126 timelines. He didn’t know how many days that tallied up to, as they mentioned that their duration is usually set as random. But he figured it was long enough that Kohaku easily leaned in to physical touch as if it was now normal, or that Aira had become as quiet as a mouse he might as well be Mayoi’s long lost brother. 

Or that HiMERU had softened up. That he and Tatsumi have some kind of companionship together that Rinne would never understand. 

Oddly enough, Mayoi seemed the same as before, albeit he seemed more confident to allow physical contact. 

For the longest time, even before he was part of Crazy:B, he knew his future was set in stone with being a monarch. Even if he ran away, spent years in the city, a part of him just… knew. Accepted that reality. If not him, who else? But that changed when Hiiro came back to his life, and knocked some sense into him. After that day, it suddenly seemed like the future opened to more possibilites.

But that was taken away once more with the timeloop. 

They’re going to be stuck experiencing the same year if they don’t do something.

… What can they do, though? What can he do? He doesn’t know shit about timeloops. Certainly have not experienced it enough to understand what the others went through. 

What can Rinne do?

“Ah, it’s already this late?”

Rinne looked over at Kuro who was looking at his phone. It prompted him to take a quick peek, and he saw that it was late in the afternoon.

“I should be going now. Thank you for your company.”

“I didn’t really do anything, though.” Rinne shrugged, not even bothering to form a proper comeback. Kuro shrugged back, but there’s a small smile on his face. 

“It was nice not being alone at the moment. Right place, right time maybe.”  Was Kuro’s simple response. 

Rinne looked at Kuro as if he had two heads while the man went to store the uniform away.

Right place… right time?

That’s right, according to HiMERU, everyone has a schedule to follow in the year. Depending on each day, time, things like that. So for this day, Kuro would have spent it alone if it weren’t for Rinne’s spontaneous arrival. 

It didn’t matter, or it shouldn’t. Because it doesn’t help him understand the timeloops or give a solution to the problem.

But it mattered to Kuro. 

They never talked all that much, so for Rinne to stay must have meant a lot to him. 

He was deep in thought even as the two men left the storage room, and Kuro had bid his goodbye, leaving Rinne to stand in this hallway alone.

Everyone around is stuck in a loop of their own schedule. So even if Kuro was maybe sad today, he could still find happiness some other day with some other people. And it would only loop again and again.

But they- the ones who are awake. They have to bear the weight of the knowledge of the timeloops, of the passage of time that only wears them down. No proper schedule to follow because it doesn’t matter to them, why follow a strict schedule when it would just loop over and over again?

He remembered the exhaustion written clearly on their faces as they sought to find an escape of this hell they didn’t ask for. The pain of watching everything they do is for naught as they are forced to go back in time to experience it over and over again.

Rinne had to do something.

… Right place, right time, huh?

Maybe there’s a reason why it took Rinne this long to be awake like the rest of them. Like, fate or some shit like that. 126 timelines is a lot, and maybe if they go through another 126 timelines, Rinne would feel the same exhaustion and pain they felt.

But he’s here now. In a new timeloop. Perhaps a little traumatized from seeing so many dead people, but they’re alive and he’s alive now.

Rinne reached into his pockets, feeling the familiar smooth material of the double dice he always brought with him.

If he wants to do something, he can’t afford to take the safe route.

He took the dice out of his pocket, and was pleasantly surprised when he saw double sixes greeting him when he opened his palm. 

Then again, fighting against the time loops is out of his power. He ain’t superman, after all. But he’s Rinne Amagi, leader of Crazy:B, Monarch of the Amagi village, and Hiiro’s cool older brother. 

If he can help them like he helped Kuro today, albeit unintentionally, then maybe they’ll find the strength to push on further. 

They have gone through this rodeo multiple times. Rinne would just have to be the glue to keep them from falling apart. 

A wide grin formed on his face as he felt a sense of resolute swell inside of him. Determined, he flicked one of the dice upwards before snatching it in the air, walking towards the direction of to the dorms, intending to scheme on his next move. 

Though, as he turned a corner, he was immediately bumped into someone smaller. A feminine shout sounded out, and Rinne was almost horrified when he saw Anzu.

“Oh- Onee-san.” Rinne breathed out, surprised. He scanned her over once and noticed how frazzled she looked. Strands of hair sticking out in odd places, the papers and folders in her hands a mess, and there were some deep bags under her eyes.

He knew she had been running herself exhausted since the last time loop, but he didn’t realize how bad it was. Rinne felt something inside of him pang, guilt, perhaps?

“You look like shit.” Rinne said, causing Anzu to chuckle.

“Y-Yea, I know. I’m really sorry Rinne-kun, I have to go.” 

Rinne nodded, stepping aside to let Anzu run to wherever she’s needed..

Maybe it wouldn’t matter, because of time loops and timelines resetting and shit, but he could treat Anzu to a cup of coffee at Cinnamon Cafe one of these days. She looked like she really needed it.

Putting Anzu aside for now, Rinne looked at his phone again when he noticed that he had been added into a groupchat during his moment of thinking. It was all of those who are aware of the time loops. There was a conversation going on earlier, but the recent is of Tatsumi sending a message a minute ago;

Tatsumi: Can anyone check on Mayoi? He hasn’t been responding and I’m afraid I am occupied with my circle’s activities. He should be in his dorm.

Lady Luck is so kind to him. 

Rinne: On it~

Chapter Text

Rinne found himself mindlessly humming as he walked, passing by each dorm to reach Mayoi and Tomoya’s dorm room. It had been hilarious when HiMERU replied to Rinne’s message, telling him to not do anything stupid. 

Pfft, of course he wasn’t going to do anything stupid! He’s not that much of a nuisance that he’d risk alerting the Mastermind or whatever. 

If anything, he was going to interact with Mayoi anyway. As to why, it is because Rinne formulated a plan.

A very well thought out plan ignoring the fact that he could be treading the line of boundaries. But hey, Rinne would take the risk, anyway. 

He can already tell that they needed a break from having to worry about the timeloops and all of that. They were undeniably stressed and tense. Even HiMERU, who always covered up his exhaustion with make-up, had slipped more or once just within the few days he had gotten accustomed to their situation. 

Rinne had planned on perhaps seeking out Kohaku or even HiMERU first, considering they’re in his unit, but Mayoi works too. Besides, Tatsumi seemed genuinely worried and Rinne was, too. Mayoi had died in the previous timeline, after all. 

It was odd that Rinne easily accepted the fact that he, too, could die. That kind of mindset would definitely bite him in the ass later. But for now, he has a mission to do!

Before heading to the dorms, he had taken a stop by Cafe Cinnamon to buy Mayoi a treat. He was surprised to find HiMERU seated by the tables with Niki chatting with him, the pair even more surprised to see Rinne. He ordered a grape tart to go and chatted with HiMERU briefly, with the man reminding him to yet again, not do anything stupid.

With the package secured in his right hand as he walked down the hall, Rinne found himself in front of Mayoi’s dorm room. He knocked on the door, calling loudly; “Oiii!!! Mayoi-chan?!! Are you inside?!”

What greeted him when the door opened was not Mayoi, but rather Tomoya, his roommate. Who actually looked rather annoyed. Based on the bed nest on his hair and his crumbled clothing, Rinne may have interrupted his nap time. 

“Oh, Amagi-senpai.” His annoyed expression softened a little, recognizing his shuffle unitmate. “Were you looking for Mayoi-san?”

“Yeppers! Is he inside? Hiding in the ceiling perhaps?”

Tomoya shook his head. “Actually, he said he was going to take a quick walk. That was an hour ago, so he should be…” The younger had lifted his finger, pointing to the direction where Mayoi headed with his head out the door, but he trailed off, his eyes widening a smidge. Rinne, curious, also looked over.

Mayoi Ayase stood at the end of the hallway, his stance unnaturally tense as he stared at the two as if he had seen something he shouldn’t have. However, when his eyes finally met with Rinne, there was a loud squeak that left his mouth. Rinne was left aghast as Mayoi turned around and ran off.

“OI!! COME BACK HERE!! MAYOI-CHAAAAN!!!” Rinne yelled, now making chase towards the ALKALOID member, all the while Tomoya looked at the two with a dumbfounded expression.

It probably looked ridiculous to the people that were just minding their own business when Mayoi ran through them as if he was being chased by a demon. Said demon, being Rinne, yelled after him with no care in the world for his volume or the possible disruptions he was causing. But with how “out there” the idols under ES can be, this is also most probably the tamest thing that could happen that day.

Well, ignoring the time loops and shit. 

It didn’t hit Rinne until he nearly bumped into another staff member that he realized something.

Wasn’t Mayoi afraid of crowds or something?

Unfortunately for him, there seemed to be some kind of event going on involving like, staff members or some shit, because there is suddenly an influx of people he doesn’t recognize filling the halls and walking into some random direction. He pushed through them as kindly safely as he could, like going against the tide. Some recognized him but they were respectful enough to give him the space to go through. 

He scanned the sea of people, trying to find Mayoi. He felt unusually nervous, biting his bottom lip as the thought of Mayoi getting crushed by the stampede was-

Okay, no, he has to calm down. 

He managed to catch the familiar sight of purple hair, and he pushed through until he reached him. Mayoi was standing near the wall, breathing rather erratically while hunched over. He hadn’t been there for long, but eventually the other people was going to notice. So, Rinne immediately grabbed Mayoi by the shoulder and pulled him close, dragging them through the flood and to the other side.

“R-Rinne-”

“Calm down. Let’s get outta here.” Rinne muttered, finally noticing the decline of people at the end of it. But even as they were clear of the crowd, Mayoi looked sick. Like, sick to the point he could actually puke. The thought did not make it any better.

“Let’s find you a place to calm down, yea? You like dark and tight spaces, don’t you? Cuz’ you always hide in the ceiling and-”

“NO!” Mayoi yelled. Luckily, they had turned to an empty hallway but even the volume of his shout was enough to surprise Rinne into letting him go. Mayoi realized his mistake and hunched over himself, arms wrapped around his body as he trembled slightly, long bangs hiding his expressions from Rinne like a curtain. “N-No.” He repeated again, this time more softly. “No darkness. N-No tight spaces…”

Boy, was Rinne wrong to think that out of all people, Mayoi doesn’t seem to change all that much. Since when did Mayoi ever get scared of the dark? Or tight spaces? Throughout the entirety of last year he basically lived crawling through the ceilings or vents as if it was second nature. He had done it for years, he was sure of that. Such fear never would have existed if Mayoi specifically chose his way of life just to avoid crowds and people. 

What… what happened?

When the silence stretched on for far too long, Mayoi began to sob, actual tears streaming down his cheeks. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry I’m sorry for not living and grovelling in the darkness like I deserve to! A stupid, ugly creature like me don’t deserve to step out into the light-”

“Mayoi-chan, calm down.” Rinne said, but there wasn’t any forceness of it. If anything, he sounded breathless, still in shock of his realization just moments ago. Mayoi did quiet down, but his sobs were still there. Rinne felt the sudden urge to reach out and wipe them away, though he refrained from doing so. 

Looking around, Rinne recognized the hallway they were in. “Come on, let's head to the gardens.” He said. If Mayoi can’t handle crowds, but can’t go to his usual hiding spots, he’d just have to find another way.

He didn’t even wait until he started walking. After a confused squeak, Mayoi caught up with him, silently wiping his face free from tears.

The Sky Gardens was empty, surprisingly enough. He had expected to either find other units using the space to practice in the afternoon sun, or even Gardenia. Maybe today, they aren’t needed in the gardens? Whatever the case, Rinne was incredibly lucky.

After some walking around, they found shade by one of the benches far away from the doors. Isolated, but at the same time in the open space.

Mayoi sat down on the bench and closed his eyes, his upper body curled forward as if he was experiencing pain.

“Uh, you good?”

The only response he got was a pained groan that Rinne can’t help to chuckle at. He sat down beside Mayoi, taking in the moment to appreciate the breeze that comes by from the Autumn air before he fished out his phone to scroll through social media. He waited until Mayoi seemed to have collected himself. 

“You… Y-You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yea, well, your boyfriend asked to check on you and you ran away. No shit I got worried in the end.”

Mayoi sputtered at having Tatsumi be referred to as his boyfriend, which makes it even better when Rinne pointed out that he never explicitly said it was Tatsumi, causing Mayoi’s face to turn entirely red that he just gave up and started mumbling into his hand. 

“... I- I don’t…”

“We don’t gotta do anything, to be honest.” Rinne remembered that he still had the tart with him and placed the plastic bag between them. Though he noticed that it seemed a little broken from going through all those people. “You don’t gotta tell me anything either. If you wanna head back to your dorm after this, we will. I’ll even buy you all the grapes you want.” Using Niki’s money, but he doesn’t need to know that.

He never imagined he would start caring for Mayoi like he did now. The development was perhaps too fast for Mayoi’s, but the man still stayed where he was. Avoiding eye contact, but showing no signs of wanting to leave which eased some of Rinne’s worries away. 

It only took a while until Mayoi finally lifted his head up, taking in a deep whiff of air as if he had been deprived of it for so long. There was a sense of… peace on his expression, finally relaxed. Rinne watched in silence, trying to make sense of Mayoi’s new behavior that he only noticed today.

“I… I saved you. In the last timeline.” Mayoi started. The mention of the timeline caused Rinne to tense up immediately, his mind inflicted with the horrid imagery he had experienced that day. Mayoi took notice of this and immediately bowed towards him. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry for bringing it up especially since you only just recently became aware-!”

“Nah, it’s fine. I was just surprised.” Rinne waved it off, despite the uncomfortableness it brought still lingering within him. “What brought this on?”

Mayoi looked a little embarrassed. “I just… I knew I died in the last timeline b-because I saved you… but in the e-end… you d-died as well…” Then, he looked up at him. “How?”

Rinne found himself speechless for a little while, unsure on how he was able to word it. But with patience and maybe a little bit of spite, he managed to verbalize the experience to Mayoi. Unlike the time when HiMERU practically forced the memories out of him, the visuals that came with talking about it was less painful. Still disturbing, and Rinne had to pause for a while to steady his heartbeat. But eventually, he recalled the previous timeline.

“T-That’s dreadful…” Mayoi squeezed his hands together, looking just as disturbed as Rinne had been. “I c-can’t imagine having the experience of waking up with so many p-people dying fresh in your mind…”

“Right, MeruMeru said that y'all died by yourselves.” Now, Rinne can’t imagine it, either. Comparing their experiences was not going to help, though. It’s not like one is slightly better than the other, both died in the end. 

“Y-Yes… It has been rather t-traumatizing. T-The…  The previous time loop somewhat reminded me o-of how I died originally.”

Now that, Rinne had not expected. 

“How… How did you die?”

Rinne expected to have his question be purposely ignored- it was a rather blunt and insensitive question, only realizing it after a millisecond of asking it. But he would be a liar if he said he wasn’t at least curious. HiMERU basically had the right idea of how he died at the start, and now he told Mayoi about it. As awful as the question is, he was heavily curious. Because he could tell that their current state was due to their first death. 

It wasn’t as obvious for HiMERU, Tatsumi and Mayoi at first, but he had immediately noticed a shift of Aira and Kohaku’s usual behavior. If it wasn’t related to their deaths, he doesn’t know what is. 

“Y’know what- nevermind. It was a stupid question, I’m sorry for-”

“I-It’s alright. Everyone knows so… It’s only fair for you, too.”

There was a faraway look on Mayoi’s expression as he opened his mouth, detached from his words but nonetheless recalling the day he had died for the very first time. 

Timeline 65, May 4th

The Live was a success. Truthfully, Mayoi was unsure of having a ‘Throwback’ Live, but Anzu, the producer that brought up the idea in the first place, had reassured that the idea had been suggested multiple times by fans in social media. So even with the slight hesitation, Alkaloid had practiced practically non-stop for the past month, remembering old choreographies and harmonies of their previous songs. 

Aira and Hiiro even started suggesting things that could ‘spice up’ their Live, like having a key change on a certain song or maybe getting a new costume as a whole. Mayoi and even Tatsumi had to calm them down, but they did approve of some of the ideas. Such idea is bringing Crazy:B as their guest.

Despite the tight schedule, their hard work paid off and the Throwback Live ended up being a huge success that when Mayoi glanced at his phone to look at social media, their fans were already wanting to have another Throwback Live but with their newer songs for the next year. Their support brought a smile on his face.

“So, this was where you headed off to?”

Mayoi jumped when Tatsumi suddenly appeared beside him, skin still glistening with sweat from the previous live, the ends of his hair sticking onto it. But despite that, even with their slightly crumpled uniform (largely based off the uniforms they debuted in, but with more ‘glamor’ to show their progress as Alkaloid), Tatsumi looked ethereal. 

Blush covered his face, and Mayoi frantically looked away, playing with his gloved fingers. “Y-Yes! I just needed t-to cool off… The Live was such a success.” 

He remembered fondly when they ran backstage, passing by Crazy:B who immediately took charge to the next. Aira and Hiiro had to keep it together until they were far from the stage, and their microphones were off, before they launched into each other's arms, squealing and celebrating as their bodies drum with the thrill and nostalgia of performing their older songs. 

“It really was. I am truly grateful that God had allowed me to befriend all of you last year. Despite what I had done as a revolutionist, and my injury. Having the chance to perform with you all by my side… I am blessed.” 

With that, Tatsumi reached out for Mayoi’s hand, fingers lacing together. Despite their gloves preventing their skin from actually touching, it still made Mayoi shudder. Tingles shoot up from his arm and it took all of his will power to not pull away.

“Hey, Mayoi-san?”

“Y-Yes?!”

“Do you perhaps have any plans later tonight?” 

The vague question filled with so many implications caused Mayoi’s cheeks to flare up in red once more, frantically looking away, but never letting Tatsumi’s hand go. They weren’t dating, per se, so Mayoi has no reason to get so flustered about it.

Though with that train of thought, Mayoi was actually unsure of their relationship. It certainly wasn’t platonic enough- but never really… romantic?? But Tatsumi was eager to show physical affection and through the past few months, Mayoi can’t help but get used to it quickly. Become eager for it, too.

Even with that, Mayoi is content with what they are now. Perhaps one day, he may… become courageous enough to say it. Or he could wait for Tatsumi. 

“N-No! Why?”

“Koga-san is not in my dorm tonight. Would you like to come over? We can watch some old Lives of ours for nostalgia sake.” 

Mayoi was about to ask, what about Aira and Hiiro? But then a part of him realized the younger two would most likely be busy hanging out with each other, as well. It felt scandalous, but it also felt exciting. Ah! How pitiful of him to feel such euphoria over this!

“I have to go back inside to pack. Are you coming?”

“O-Oh. I just need a moment to myself i-if that’s alright!”

Their hands unlinked, and Mayoi mourned at the loss of his touch. But Tatsumi was smiling kindly at him, and Mayoi found himself transfixed in his eyes. 

“Of course. I’ll see you in a bit, then.”

“Y-Yes. See you.” 

Tatsumi gave him one last smile before entering the building from the staff door again, leaving Mayoi alone. He looked around the parking lot, with one of them occupied by their shuttle bus. Mayoi smiled, feeling giddy at the thought of spending more time with Tatsumi later tonight. 

However, the moment Mayoi took one step forward for the door, a hand grabbed him from behind. Mayoi’s instincts acted up, his elbow immediately attacking the person behind him while his mind started going at a million miles per hour.

Where did they come from? Who are they? A fan? How did Mayoi not notice? Did they see him and Tatsumi hold hands? 

The thoughts were put on a halt when Mayoi realized a moment later that this stranger was much stronger than he was, and he found the arm he used to elbow his attacker was now pinned behind his back painfully. What immediately followed was a rag pressed against his mouth and nose roughly, filling his nostrils with the smell of unfamiliar chemicals.

He thrashed, tried to scream, but the effects of the chemicals were working too fast for him, and he realized with fear that his body felt sluggish, mind becoming slower and dizzier while his vision blurred until all he could see was vague shapes and black dots. 

It didn’t take long until he fell into unconsciousness. 

When Mayoi awoke, he was blindfolded. He felt his wrists and legs restrained by cable ties, which did nothing to ease his panic. But what’s worse, he realized, was that the space he is in felt contained, small. Based on the muted whirring of the engine as well as bumps along the gravel, Mayoi deduced he was trapped in the trunk of a car.

Once he realized his predicament, Mayoi started shaking in fear, his eyes immediately tearing up which did not help due to the blindfold. Was he kidnapped? What were they gonna do to him? How much time has passed? 

Surely Tatsumi and the others must have known he had been gone for too long… Yes! They’ll find him! The emergency measures in ES has always been reliable! He just has to endure it… calm down… Soon, he’ll be safe back with Tatsumi and Hiiro and Aira… 

The car stopped abruptly, causing Mayoi to accidentally hit his head against something hard due to the momentum. Then there were footsteps and voices and-

The trunk was unlocked and opened, and hands were on him.

“L-LET ME GO!”

“Ah, fuck, he’s awake.”

“Let’s get to it, then. Is the pit ready?”

“Yea.” 

Mayoi was placed over someone’s shoulder, and he struggled. He hit them, kicked the air with what limitations he has, even screamed though it was left ignored by the ones that took him. Within seconds, Mayoi felt exhausted. His body was exerted from the Live, he has no more energy left to spare trying to get away. But the adrenaline that came with panic pushed him through. 

They stopped, and for a moment, Mayoi thought they were going to put him down. And they did. 

Except Mayoi was thrown off their shoulder and off to the ground that awfully felt much more deeper than what he expected. And the grass and dirt felt more solid. Mayoi’s body screamed in pain as he landed on the surface roughly, he felt like he broke something, too, but he was unsure what. 

Jostling around, Mayoi’s closed hands immediately pressed against the side quickly. His feet also touched the ends of…

Mayoi felt his whole body freeze. He was in a box. 

Or more specifically, a coffin. Made of old but sturdy wood with splinters and head nails poking out.

Mayoi used his hands to tear the blindfold off with major difficulty, but the moment he was able to, something blocked his view from the outside, instead putting him into pitch-black darkness. It was then Mayoi realized that the door had been closed on top of him, and with Mayoi attempting to push against it, it was also locked. 

He thought he was just going to be trapped in a box. Tight spaces and darkness? That, he can do. He’s used to it! He’d climb through vents and traveled in the dark for years! So this is fine, he can- he can do this, he can endure it until help reaches him! He can-

There was the sound of someone shoveling something, and a loud thump of something landing on the box Mayoi was in. 

Oh. Oh no. Oh god no- 

“DON’T! PLEASE DON’T! LET ME OUT!! HELP!!!” Mayoi couldn’t help it, realizing that he was being buried alive, he screamed. Screamed through the thumps of dirt shoveled on top of him, screamed through the box in hopes that someone, anyone had heard him. But then he realized that he was in a remote location, far away from his friends. Far away from help. Far away from Tatsumi. 

Stupid Mayoi. He didn’t bring his phone with him. He had nothing on him. 

His screams eventually turned into sobs as the ones who had kidnapped him seemed done with their work. He sobbed harder when he could hear the faint sounds of a car starting up and driving away. 

Why? Why did this happen? What did he do? 

Was it because he indulged too much with Tatsumi? Did a stalker fan found out about their not-so-romantic-neither-platonic relationship, went crazy and hired a hitman? What was the reasoning? 

Was there even one? Were those people just wanting to hurt someone and Mayoi was just unfortunately at the wrong place, wrong time? 

There were no answers, Mayoi only sobbed until there was nothing left of him to cry.

As the ticks of time goes by, the feeling of being in such a tight-closed space was starting to become too much. Even though he had been used to it, all of that had been his choice. But now? He was put in a box, under a pile of dirt with no way out. It overwhelmed him. His legs were still restrained, his wrists, too. It was uncomfortable all around and Mayoi started hating it. He wished to dance with Alkaloid again. To practice their choreographies until their legs shake and they all have to drop and laugh together. 

Mayoi tried to keep track of time, but at this point he was unsure if he had been correct or not and ended up just giving up. He really wanted to move, but he can’t even shift around even if he wanted to. The box he was in was too small. 

At some point, it started getting difficult to breathe. 

Mayoi’s eyes had adjusted enough that he could kind of see what’s above him. Kind of. But he swore there were… black spots swirling around in his vision. 

He should have confessed to Tatsumi. Even if he was still unsure of his feelings, or even unsure if Tatsumi thought of him the same way, Mayoi wished he had said something. To show that he really did treasure their relationship. That he wanted, if he was allowed to, to have more. 

He wanted to see them graduate. Mayoi had already graduated from Yumenosaki with his unitmates present, even Tatsumi. He had to do one more year, but it was alright. Mayoi would have gladly attended all of their graduations.

His heartbeat was slowing, he realized.

Mayoi wondered how Shinobu was doing. He was worried that when Mayoi left the Ninja Association Club, it would have to be abandoned. But according to his chief, he had managed to find more members to keep the club going. He wanted to visit him again. 

He thought of so many people that he had talked to. Thought of his own family who he had not seen in years. Thought of Anzu, who encouraged him and his unit as a producer. 

Realizing that he was going to die, that help was not coming for him, Mayoi sobbed once more. 

It was quiet. 

No one heard him. 

… 

The last thing he remembered was a smiling Tatsumi.

Timeline 126, September 11th

Mayoi was shaking, hands tangled in his hair as he sobbed. His body trembled and his cries were so loud, it felt like the wind was going to carry it. 

Rinne didn’t know what to do. He felt incredibly bad for asking in the first place, regretting for putting Mayoi in that spot. Seeing him recall his death was painful, but it felt even more upsetting when Mayoi started sobbing right after that. It was like Mayoi had suppressed his memories of that timeline for so long, but now that the wound had reopened, all that supressed pain was now let out, gushing out like some kind of waterfall.

Rinne didn’t say anything for the longest time, instead wrapping an arm around the male. To his surprise, Mayoi accepted the touch, even leaned on him as he continued to cry. Rinne was sure his jacket was going to have a permanent wet mark with how Mayoi was crying on the cloth.

What felt like hours when it had only been minutes, Mayoi’s cries lessened until there was just a small sniffling. He could feel how weakened Mayoi had gotten from it, hands now laid on his own lap tiredly. 

The plan that Rinne had in his mind ultimately failed. He didn’t intend to make Mayoi cry, or cause him so much anguish. He just wanted to help him, try and make his day a little better. But perhaps talking about it was too much for one person to handle, especially for Mayoi. Rinne nearly had the urge to click his tongue as he looked away, thinking. Perhaps he shouldn’t have betted that it was going to go smoothly in the first place.

“I-I’m sorry, Rinne-san… I h-have to go.” Mayoi’s voice was so hoarse as he gently pulled away from Rinne’s hug. “T-Thank you, though. For r-reaching out to a c-creature of d-darkness like me.” 

Mayoi reached for the plastic bag, then bowed towards Rinne as a thank you before leaving for the exit. His walk was slow, tired. 

Rinne watched him until the man disappeared from his sight, and from there he finally released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

There were so many things Rinne had assumed, but he had no idea Mayoi had gone through that. Kidnapping and being buried alive? That was the last thing he had expected to hear from Mayoi himself. If his death had been that bad, and Rinne’s own death had been because of terrorism, what of the others? HiMERU, Tatsumi, Aira and Kohaku?

It was traumatic for Mayoi. But he can’t help but be sad at the thought of Mayoi’s safe space within the vents being taken from him. The feeling of your limbs being restricted like that, in a closed off space, surrounded by darkness… Mayoi would be pulled back into the memory of his first death if he were to go with his usual vent crawling habits. 

He supposed that it could have gone a lot worse. Mayoi looked… kind of calmer? In a way? 

Nevermind, Rinne’s just grasping at straws.

He didn’t know how long he stayed on that bench, but it was long enough that apparently the sky had gone dark and the sound of footsteps startled him out of his thoughts. 

It felt weird that time passed by so quickly, but it was even weirder to have Tatsumi Kazehaya stand before him with the most pissed off expression he had ever seen on the man’s face. He was used to the usual calm and kind face Tatsumi always wore, but there was no smiles to be had. No sparkles in his eyes, either. Just pure, unfiltered, anger. 

“What did you do to Mayoi-san?” 

Rinne had to stand up for this. Tatsumi’s expression was too serious that he can’t find it himself to try and make some kind of joke or comeback. He already knew that what happened with Mayoi didn’t exactly go the way he wanted it to, but he had never considered the reactions of the others that would come with. Especially of Tatsumi’s.

“I only talked with him.”

“Bullshit.”

Rinne's mouth hung open for a moment, flabbergasted that Tatsumi Kazehaya had sworn. But he got his composure back, and he stuck his hands in his pockets, still keeping eye-contact with Tatsumi. “I’m serious. I only talked with Mayoi-chan because I was worried about him. Apparently he got worked up by what happened in the last time loop.” 

“Then tell me, why did Mayoi come to my dorm room with tears in his eyes?”

Well, fuck.

“I don’t know- what do you want me to say? I didn’t force him to tell me about how he died- I mean, yea I’m curious and yea I’m sorry that it happened but I didn’t force him. I told him it was okay to not tell me and he continued on. I’ll make it up to him tomorrow or something, no way in hell am I gonna just leave our conversation at that. But you don’t gotta be the knight in shining armor, coming down here like I’m the bad guy for making your boyfriend cry.”

There was a little snappiness in his tone but Rinne hardly took notice. He was honestly tired, thinking too much and running around and stuff, so Tatsumi’s confrontation was making him annoyed a little. Just a little. 

Tatsumi’s face flushed, though his expression didn’t waver. “He’s not my-” He cut himself off, letting out a frustrated huff. 

“That’s enough.”

A new voice came and interrupted them. This time, Rinne was less surprised upon finding HiMERU walking towards them, as if he had known Tatsumi was going to confront him. He placed a hand on Tatsumi’s shoulder, pulling him back just slightly while flashing him a look of warning, his eyes narrowed and a tight frown on his face. Tatsumi looked back at HiMERU, an unfamiliar scowl present on his face before pushing his hand off. He gave HiMERU a look that Rinne can’t make out, clicked his tongue in annoyance and walked away.

HiMERU sighed deeply now that Tatsumi was gone, one hand coming up to push the stray blue strands away from his forehead. “HiMERU must apologize for Tatsumi’s behavior. He’s… very protective of Ayase.”

“I’d be blind if I didn’t know that. But that’s the first time Tatsumi behaved that way. Nothin’ like the calm and collected priest from last year.”

“Yes, well, if you have gone through enough time loops, it would be difficult to remain the 'calm and collected' priest. For that, HiMERU does not blame Tatsumi for behaving the way he does, albeit rarely he ever loses his composure.” HiMERU was looking at Rinne now, a worried expression on his face. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? What kinda question is that? Course’ I am, Mayoi-chan, though…” If it was weird for Tatsumi to lash out at him, it was even weirder when HiMERU showed clear signs of worry towards the redhead as if it was second nature. Again, Rinne was more used to HiMERU’s usual annoyance towards him, but he rarely if ever voices out genuine concern towards him like that. 

It’s not to say Rinne ever doubted HiMERU caring about him- he knew he could be a big lil’ softie if he wanted to be! But to show that side to him willingly was a whole other thing he was not used to. 

“HiMERU is asking because Tatsumi shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”

The concern in his eyes and how soft his voice was, Rinne truly did not know what to think of it.

“To be honest, I deserved it. I kind of let Mayoi-chan relive his trauma because I was curious on how he died, and he ended up hyperventilating.” With that said, HiMERU now looked surprised.

“Ah… that would explain Tatsumi’s behavior. Ayase had always been rather sensitive about his death. HiMERU can reassure you that the others wouldn’t mind so much, if you so choose to ask them about it.” He paused. “Except for Shiratori.”

“Ai-chan? How come?”

“It’s… something Shiratori is not proud of.” HiMERU briefly looked away, cringing slightly to himself realizing his mistake of bringing it up.. “But HiMERU must digress. Tatsumi will calm down later.”

Rinne frowned, one hand going up to ruffle his messy red hair in thought. Yea, he really didn’t think this through. 

“I can’t believe I’m sayin’ this, but is there a way I could make it up to him? And Mayoi-chan?” 

Of all people, one wouldn’t think HiMERU would be an option to ask, but Rinne had guessed that with the amount of timelines they had gone through, maybe HiMERU would know more about the pair than anyone else. Other than Aira and Hiiro, at least.

HiMERU looked a little surprised, but he went quiet as he thought for a moment.

“... Unfortunately, HiMERU does not have any ideas. However, HiMERU would make the assumption that Tatsumi would come to apologize first.”

Rinne sighed. Today wasn’t as lucky as he thought it was. “It’s fine. Didn’t mean to cause trouble today.”

“It’s fortunate that this is not an incident that happened in public, or leaked out in the media. Who knows what kind of rumors that would pop up… Or what the Mastermind would do next.” The conversation seemed to be done now, as HiMERU turned around. “HiMERU will see you tomorrow.”

“Oh- hold on, MeruMeru?”

“Hm?”

“This is like, a random ass question but… Are Tatsumi-san and Mayoi-chan datin’ or something?” He thought back to Mayoi’s story earlier, where he seemed flustered remembering his last interaction with Tatsumi before the incident. Or how Tatsumi got protective to the point of confronting him.

HiMERU was quiet for longer than he probably should have, but he answered, back still facing towards him. Rinne can't see his expression.

“Something like that.” 

With the vague answer, HiMERU walked away, leaving Rinne alone in the empty gardens with only the slight breeze of the autumn wind keeping him company. 

Timeline 65, May 5th

It has been 6 hours since the confirmation of Mayoi’s disappearance, as well as 12 hours since Mayoi was last heard of. 

But then Kohaku called him, telling him that Aira had messaged him saying they found him. He then met up with him, Rinne and Anzu, who had been helping with the search for the past couple hours. Then, they sped down the road, HiMERU not caring at all of the traffic laws he was breaking. 

It only took minutes but minutes were too long.

It was a blur of a drive, then HiMERU found himself runnning down the dirt path, following the location that Kohaku had told him which was apparently an abandoned part of a forest prohibiting access to the general public. Not that it mattered to him, he would let ES handle the legal side of it. The area was still dark, but within minutes the sun was going to rise. They have not slept the entire night, trying to find the missing Alkaloid member.

They finally break through to an open field, but HiMERU found himself stuttering into a stop as he saw what lay before him. 

Tatsumi was cradling Mayoi’s body in his arms, his body hunched over as sobs wrecked his body. Aira and Hiiro stood nearby, the blonde sobbing openly while Hiiro held him with an expression of pure horror on his face.

Just a few feet away from Tatsumi and Mayoi, there was a hole dug out, by the length and depth of it, it was enough to have a full grown human inside. The shovel laid innocently nearby.

“Mayoi… Mayoi…!” Tatsumi continued to cry, pressing Mayoi closer to him but it was no use, Mayoi was not moving. 

Slowly, HiMERU stepped forward until he was only a step away from Tatsumi, but he couldn’t reach out to him. No, this was just a time loop, after all. HiMERU knows that, Tatsumi knows that. Death is never permanent…

But even with that knowledge, he would never forget how Tatsumi finally tore the air around them with the loudest, broken scream he had ever seen the man muster. As if the world had taken something precious from his own hands, as if the world was unfair. It was raw, it was painful, it was the most human sound that ever came from Tatsumi as the sun rose around them of a new day. 

He didn’t have to hear the sobs from Anzu’s, or the way Rinne clenched his fists, or how Kohaku had to walk away, to know that despite what Mayoi thought, he truly was loved and cared for.

But Mayoi would never know. Not in this timeline. 

Unsure of how to proceed, HiMERU felt a tug in his chest. 

The sounds of Tatsumi’s cries echoed around HiMERU’s mind as he blinked, and found himself back onto his own bed with the alarm of the phone slowly drowning the cries out until nothing was left.

Chapter Text

September 12th

Rinne’s plan of making it up to Mayoi and Tatsumi had to be moved to another day. Because lo and behold, the fates decided that on this specific day, his cute little brother, Hiiro Amagi, would have a practice session with Alkaloid. (The feeling of Deja-Vu, as if knowing this from a previous timeline, is going to be really annoying.)

“Quit your moping, you’re annoying as it is.” HiMERU snapped at him. 

Rinne whined some more to spite the bluenette. The two were at Cafe Cinnamon, HiMERU having some ‘personal business’ to take care of while Rinne was just bored. No circle meetings, Kohaku’s busy with DF so no practice either… And Rinne is too sober to play pachinko using Niki’s money. All in all, he just felt really out of it.

“You’re still stumped over not being able to ‘fix’ your problem with Tatsumi and Ayase, are you?” 

“AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAh.” was the response. Not loud, but the volume was enough to garner the attention of some onlookers.

Seriously, it felt like Rinne was separated from his own body at that moment, unable to utter the usual bullshit that comes out of his mouth to entertain himself or annoy others. There was this layer of exhaustion on his bones, phantom aches all over his body despite not exerting himself. He was tired, and Rinne was tired of being tired. 

“Hm. You don’t look very well.”

Rinne finally lifted his head to look at HiMERU with a ‘No shit?’ expression. To his surprise, HiMERU lifted one corner of his lips in an amused smirk. Something about HiMERU’s more casual expressions was making his stomach churn lightly…

“Maybe you should focus on other things other than those two.”

“Yea? What if someone dies tomorrow and the timeline resets?”

HiMERU shrugged, going back to looking at his laptop. “Do it in the next timeline, then.”

Right, Rinne had to remind himself that with the timeline resetting, he could hypothetically have endless time to do what he wanted to do. The thought of it sounded pleasing at first- he could spend all day playing video games by himself or with friends and it wouldn’t have to be chalked up to ‘wasting’ the day away because time is unlimited. 

He wondered… What were the others doing the past 126 timelines? 

“There’s no need for you or the others to be antsy. HiMERU has been doing investigations to figure out the Mastermind behind the loops.”

That surprised him. It wasn’t surprising that HiMERU would do his own private investigations, but rather him taking initiative in the first place. “Eh? The others don’t help?”

“HiMERU just has more time to deal with our issue more than the others. Alkaloid still has their fixed practice sessions because of their leader being the only one left unaware. On top of that, Shiratori, Oukawa and Tatsumi are still attending school. Ayase is… still troubled from his first death. HiMERU simply does not want to add on to his stress.”

It was awfully considerate of HiMERU, but also worrying. Rinne’s inner leader/monarch is getting out but he doesn’t have the energy to deal with it for now, so he scooted over until he could barely just see what was on HiMERU’s screen with a curious look. HiMERU didn’t seem to mind it, in fact, he pushed the laptop a bit to make viewing easier.

“The hell are you looking at?” Rinne asked. There’s a window on one half of what looked like a spreadsheet with dates, names of units and titles of… Something? While the other window taking the other half showed a website of an event happening next week. Some kind of meet and greet downtown that Eden will be doing.

“HiMERU is looking through all of the jobs that would require a unit to be outside.”

Rinne blinked. “Wouldn’t it be the same thing, though?”

“No. I don’t expect you to understand so quickly, but what is common between all of the deaths was because of a job or event that happened they are a part of. Your death, for example, was the SS Final.”

The reminder of his death made Rinne wince a little, looking away. HiMERU continued on.

“It does not necessarily have to be a public event, but it’s more common. And it doesn’t have to happen on the same day…” HiMERU trailed off, shaking his head. “For some reason, our Mastermind is able to manipulate when, where and what job the units will have. It’s tedious, but HiMERU normally spends a day or two looking at the jobs that were assigned for each unit if they have any.”

That’s really weird. “But… don’t the producers normally give jobs?” The words were like acid leaving his mouth. He didn’t realize the weight of his question until a moment later, implying that one of the producers was basically the mastermind of the loops. 

But HiMERU shook his head, not even giving Rinne a glance. “No. HiMERU has already checked every single one of them. None of them are the masterminds.”

A part of Rinne felt relieved. It would be really fucking weird to imagine someone like Anzu was capable of looping time into eternity. “Sooo… the Mastermind is manipulating the producers to do their bidding, yea?”

“HiMERU doesn’t know how exactly, but that seemed likely to be the case. And the producers are none the wiser.”

Man, the poor producers. He really got to treat Anzu to some coffee.

“Ooookay… So the next job is…”

“Eden’s meet and greet this Sunday. HiMERU doubts anything bad is going to happen- it’s still too early. But at this point anything could change-”

Something clunked against the table, surprising Rinne into looking up. Niki stood in front of them, a strained smile on his face. There’s a steaming cup of coffee in front of him.

Niki never really scared him, not ever, but something about his demeanor right now caused Rinne to tense up, shrinking on himself which would be impossible for a tall, redhead like him. 

“On the house.” Niki flatly said to Rinne, before nodding at HiMERU to acknowledge his presence. After a second of awkwardness, Niki turned around and went back to work. 

… What the fuck was that?

HiMERU looked just as shocked as Rinne was, but his eyebrows were scrunched up a little, and soon he was doing his ‘thinking pose’ as if deciphering Niki’s odd behavior just now. 

“We just got here and Niki’s pissed already?” Rinne sighed. This timeline is just getting better and better, he sarcastically thought.

“That is… strange. There shouldn’t be any reason for Shiina to behave the way he did just now.” HiMERU was back on his laptop, frantically typing. A quick look and Rinne could see HiMERU was searching for previous events they had done earlier in the year. Or, supposedly so, considering Rinne wasn’t conscious enough to remember that. 

“HiMERU suggests you go spend your days as normally as possible. Don’t you have a meeting tomorrow?”

“Huh? Oh, yea. Why?”

“Have you looked through the paperwork?”

Rinne stared blankly at HiMERU. Until a sharp memory literally slapped the back of his mind, and he winced as he painfully remembered a stack of papers he had yet to look through or signed, given two weeks ago. All of which, even before the time loop reset, he remembered never doing on time.

“You’re such a party pooper, MeruMeru~! After all I did for you and you’re giving me attitude?” 

“HiMERU does not have the time for this…” 

To Rinne’s surprise, HiMERU stood up sharply. He quickly packed his bag, all the while speaking with a sharp tone. “HiMERU will contact you again if he finds something. Meanwhile, if you’re that bored, keep your eyes peeled. If you feel like something is wrong, tell HiMERU immediately. Doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not, the rules of this stupid game are finicky as it is.”

Still frozen with shock, Rinne didn’t get to say anything before HiMERU stalked out of the cafe, perhaps slamming the door a bit too hard. No one noticed it, though.

Jeeezus, he has his work cut out for him. 

September 13th

The meeting was a drag, but heeding HiMERU’s words, he did get the paperwork done on time. It saved him from Ibara’s nagging for the day. 

It was a really weird feeling of Deja-vu. It’s like, one part of Rinne’s brain knew that he’s experiencing this event for the first time in this timeline, but another part is telling him that he has done this before, multiple times even. 

This meeting was about SS, no surprise. Rinne guessed that anything related to SS would be a recurring thing no matter what.

It’s a good thing with all this deja-vu-ness going about, Rinne hardly focused on the meeting but he already knew what the content was anyway. 

Just as they were standing up from their seats, Ibara spoke.

“Right, I have these vouchers for a cat cafe near the shoot Eden is doing. We have no use of it so-”

Rinne easily snatched the tickets from his hands with a loud ‘Yoink!’ before dashing out of the meeting room, much to the bewilderment of everyone else. 

September 14th

Hiiro, his cute little brother who he loves dearly, sought him out in the morning.

By that, he meant Hiiro had somehow picked the lock on the door to his dorm and is currently trying to drag him out of bed. He would have been impressed by this very legal skill if it weren’t for the fact Rinne felt awfully lazy.

“Nii-san!!! Get up!!!”

Like the best big brother he is, he remained in bed, hugging his pillow like a plushie in hopes that maybe, maybe, Hiiro would get the message and leave him to stay in bed like a rotten carrot. Unfortunately, Hiiro was stubborn, and he could feel fists gripping onto the blanket before being taken off of him, his one and only protection from both the cold and his brother. The horror for real. 

“Nii-san!!! You said we would be hanging out today!!!”

At that, Rinne actually stood up straight, his body spiked with energy from hearing Hiiro’s words. Did he promise that? Stupid timelines and memory shenanigans, he rapidly looked through his memories until he vaguely remembered agreeing to hang out with Hiiro on this specific day. 

… Even though that conversation was three months ago.

He had to give credit to his brother for remembering because Rinne sure as hell didn’t. Most likely the effects from the time loop, but Rinne would definitely not have remembered that.

Hiiro stood at the side of the bed, his hands still curled around the blanket. A huge smile formed on his face when he noticed Rinne wide awake. “Good morning, Nii-san!”

“Morning, Outoto. How’d the hell you get in here?”

“I tried picking the lock but Shinkai-senpai noticed me and gave me his spare key.”

Ah, Kanata? At least the company is spared from having to repair a door. Rinne yawned, his arms stretched above him. “Hrmfgkjse… Aight, let me get dressed.”

Perhaps it had been the effects  of being thrown into a new timeloop (timeline? Timeloop? He realized he had been interchanging the meaning), but there was a rapid flurry of memories that filled his mind, his body automatically moving as if experiencing it before and Rinne was left to follow along like a puppet. 

His responses were automatic. 

(“How has practice been, Nii-san?” “MeruMeru’s mean to me~” They have yet to have practice this timeloop, but Rinne’s response was based on what would it have been if they had practice yesterday, which perhaps in the previous loop, had happened)

His movements were casual, ruffling his brother’s hair. Grabbing onto his phone and other belongings. Swinging his keys with skilled fingers after he locked the door. 

(Meanwhile, Rinne felt detached. As if watching his own body and Hiiro from an outside perspective, watching.)

Does this count as ‘something wrong’ to bring up with HiMERU? It didn’t feel like anything was wrong… It was just really, really weird. Maybe uncomfortable, too. But not wrong. What if it’s the same thing though? Aaaah! Too much thinking! 

When Rinne felt like he was conscious enough to actually be more aware, he realized they were in a park. It was a park that Rinne was not familiar with, funny enough, but because Hiiro was the one leading he deduced that it’s somewhere Hiiro had frequented. It’s a nice place, decent size, too. Hiiro was talking, rambling even, his voice trailing behind as he talked about what had been happening in his life.

School, friends, practice.

Such normal things for a highschool boy. 

Oh, he didn’t realize they had bought boba tea earlier. Probably with Niki’s money. Rinne took a sip out of his boba, continuing to listen to his brother as they walked. Eventually, they ended up reaching a decently sized playground. There weren’t any kids around, surprisingly, so Hiiro with his awe-struck expression, immediately pulled the older Amagi by the wrist and further into the playground. Their shoes stepped into the sandy ground, and Rinne hoped it didn’t get into their shoes later on.

“Looook! I’ve never seen a playground before! I see it in pictures!” He let go, and Hiiro brisked walked further in to inspect the playground equipment. “... I expected it to be bigger.”

“That may be because you ain’t a kid anymore.” Rinne replied, watching with amusement as Hiiro started climbing up the stairs, having to duck under an arch that was definitely not meant for teenagers to go through. “Since kids are smaller, this place seems like a fortress to them.”

Hiiro wasn’t a kid anymore, but sometimes, Rinne would be reminded of how much their childhood was not like other kids. He watched Hiiro as if he was 8 years old again, the boy pointing at everything excitedly as he messes around and plays with the various equipment. He’s easily impressed, Rinne realized, hiding behind a smile as Hiiro let out a screech of delight when he went down the wavy slide. He nearly fell off, but he laughed anyway.

“This is amazing! We never have this back in our hometown!”

And that’s the sad part, isn't it? If Hiiro hadn’t left his hometown, he would never have experienced the joys of life like he does now. 

“... Nii-san.”

Rinne hummed, looking up at Hiiro who stood at the highest point of the playground. It felt weird, having a conversation while there’s such a big distance between them, so Rinne walked over. He stepped onto the main attraction of the playground, some residue of sand that was stuck on the soles of his shoe now staining the smooth metal surface, left behind like footprints on a beach. 

He took a few more steps, ducking his head under an arch until he stood right in front of his older brother on equal footing. Though, his little outoto was still as short as ever… Shorter than him, at least. Ha… so cute.

“Something’s bothering you, isn’t there, Nii-san?” Man, if only their family back at their hometown saw Hiiro now. He wasn’t dumb or stupid, no, he can be perceptive when he wants- needs to be. 

Hiiro wouldn’t remember this. He would not remember this conversation in the next loop. He would not remember the joy of spending the afternoon with his big brother playing in a kid’s playground despite their ages going way beyond the expected limit.

And yet… 

“Hiiro, humor me for a bit. If you only had a year left to live, what would you do?”

To Hiiro’s credit, he did look worried at the abrupt question, sensing the serious atmosphere. Perhaps it was a habit to always listen to his big brother, but he looked serious as he thought about his answer, his arms crossed. This way, Hiiro looked more mature. The duality of this kid. 

“I think… I would spend the rest of my days with the people I cherish and love the most. Your question is vague, so I’m unsure of when exactly this one year deadline is going to start.”

That is such a Hiiro-like answer, Rinne can’t help but bark out laughing. “Come on! There’s gotta be something you really want to do, something that you can’t easily do right now but with the threat of the world ending, it’s a must you have to! Like- doing drugs or stealing something-”

Hiiro punched Rinne on the shoulder, hard. Rinne laughed through the pain. Oh, owch. He definitely deserved that one. Hiiro pouted though, his fist going back to his side. He looked… embarrassed about it. At first, Rinne had no idea what the other was thinking- but then it hit him. Suddenly, a wide, shit-eating grin formed on his face. Hiiro’s expression seemed confused at this behavior, but no doubt he was cautious about it.

“Kyahahahaha! Little Hiiro-kun has a crush!!~” 

Rinne was rather accurate, he thought, as Hiiro’s face immediately flamed up. His cheeks turned as red as his hair as he fumbled to make a response, only managing to just look away with one hand barely covering his cheeks. 

But this was good, though! Rinne doesn’t remember if Hiiro ever admitted having a crush before!

… Rinne doesn’t remember Hiiro admitting to having a crush ever… 

Amidst his realization, Hiiro huffed loudly. “Don’t act like you haven’t been teasing about it before.”

“So it’s Girlfriend-kun?”

“His name is Aira-”

Hiiro looked a bit horrified at having said that out loud. But it just made Rinne laugh harder. For a brief moment, he forgot about his realization in order to tease his precious brother.

“Nii-san! Stop laughing!”

“I-I’m sorry! It’s just- I kinda expected it but also kinda didn’t but it’s great that you have a crush on him, I’ll be rooting for you!~”

“Nii-san!!!!” 

Hiiro was preparing to punch him again, that’s for sure, but he stopped when a ringtone startled him. The ringtone must be familiar, because Hiiro immediately brightened up, scrambling to fish his phone out of his pocket. Rinne watched with a dumb smile as Hiiro spoke with the other person, who he guessed was Aira. 

Hiiro walked off the playground fortress, apparently needing some privacy. It was all good with him, he needed time to think, anyway. 

… He has been doing a lot of that, hasn’t he?

Rinne leaned back against one of the supposed barriers of the playground equipment, though only reaching up to his hip. He then looked up, swirling his lukewarm boba with one hand. Up to this point, most things felt familiar or making him feel a sense of deja-vu. It was easier to deal with it as long as he doesn’t think about it at all, but it’s not any easier trying to make sense of it.

Like how Niki behaved weirdly when he and HiMERU were at the cafe a few days ago… Or how it’s now confirmed that Hiiro has a crush on Aira.

These two separate situations, it’s safe to say he had never experienced it before. 

Of the many timeloops that happened previously, none include Niki looking like he wanted to murder him and HiMERU, and none include Hiiro admitting to liking Aira to Rinne before. 

“So much for a timeloop… where’s the loop in all this mess?” Rinne mumbled to himself, taking a sip before proceeding to choke on the chewy boba due to the angle. 

Although not under the category of ‘weird’, it’s probably best to tell HiMERU about it, anyway. 

September 15th

Finally, finally, Rinne was able to catch Tatsumi and Mayoi. 

Right in front of the cat cafe the vouchers sitting in his pocket were intended for. 

It only seemed like he wasn’t going to see them, and he realized the vouchers were only available until the end of today, so he decided to bring Niki as some kind of apology (for something he still doesn’t know he did), when they stumbled upon the older Alkaloid seniors right in front of it. Now, Rinne just felt awkward.

“Oh, what a pleasant surprise to see you both here.” Tatsumi greeted them first, smiling gently. Rinne stared holes into the priest as he studied his body language and features, trying to find something that could tell him what the other was feeling or even thinking. Nothing seemed to be out of place, though, he looked completely normal. Even when Niki immediately pulled Mayoi into a conversation against the purple haired phantom’s will, conveniently leaving Tatsumi and Rinne to talk alone.

“So, uh, how are you?”

“Fufu, you aren’t always so polite, Rinne-san. We’re friends, aren’t we?” Tatsumi’s smile grew sadder, a bit. “I’m sorry for how I behaved the last time we spoke. I don’t regret wanting to protect Mayoi-san, but I realize now that my anger towards you was not needed at all. And for that, I’m sorry.”

“All this apologizin’ is gonna get real tirin’.” Rinne chuckled, pulling out the vouchers he had in his pockets. “I was gonna give this to ya and Mayoi-chan, but when I couldn’t find ya I worried this was gonna go to waste, so I was gonna bring Niki-”

“RINNE-KUN! You promised you’d treat meeeeee!!!!!” Speak of the devil, Niki came back, not before dragging Mayoi who looked equally distraught. Oh right, he did tell Niki of the original plan of giving these vouchers to the other two. 

“I-I I- Didn’t know you were on a date!!!! Aaaahhh so lucky…….. I really wanted to try the latte with the cute foam kitty on the top!~”

Rinne cringed at himself, wondering how he was gonna fix this mess he unintentionally created when Tatsumi stepped up. “Why don’t the two of you take these vouchers and go inside? It’s a big crowded, but since both of you are so eager to try this cafe out…”

Niki immediately took the chance, of course he would. Mayoi looked guilty for accepting the generosity, normal Mayoi things. With a big whoop, Niki pulled Mayoi into the cafe, officially leaving the other two alone outside.

A tired chuckle left Rinne, one hand going up to rub the back of his neck. “This is a whole shit show, isn’t?”

He wasn’t referring to anything in particular, but Tatsumi smiled anyway, laughing a little. “It is…”

The two looked through the window, watching their close friends find a table. Niki was gushing over the menu, pointing at everything and anything that looked remotely edible, it was a surprise Mayoi had not run away yet or seemed exhausted with the amount of people inside. Turns out, Mayoi himself had eyed this cafe for a long time, according to Tatsumi.

“It’s quite fortunate that you got your hands on those vouchers. It opened its branch here recently and reservations are always booked full for weeks.”

Rinne blinked. “Huh. I didn’t even know this place was that popular.”

“It only got popular this year. I myself had never heard of it until…” His voice trailed off. From the reflection of the window, Rinne could see Tatsumi’s expression falling into something more painful. He was about to ask what was wrong when Tatsumi turned around, nearly tumbling on his feet. “Sorry I- give me a moment.”

He walked a few steps away. Rinne kept an eye on Tatsumi as the other pressed a hand against his forehead. His back was facing towards Rinne, but he could imagine the priest was shutting his eyes tightly, going through the motions of whatever pains he seemed to be experiencing. The sounds of the city continued on around them, occasionally there would be a couple of fangirls screaming from around the corner of the street.

Eden was here, weren’t they? For a meet and greet? 

A shaky sigh pulled Rinne’s focus back on Tatsumi. 

“I’m okay now. My apologies, some bad memories came up.”

Rinne has his attention on Tatsumi now. “Like…” He made a very vague gesture with his hands, not sure on how to word his thoughts, but Tatsumi seemed to get the hint. He nodded, and Rinne let out an ‘oh’.

“Wanna get some boba? Outoto recommended me.”

A ghost of a smile appeared on Tatsumi’s face, even though his body became tensed. “Must be from Aira-san’s influence.”

It didn’t take long to find a nearby boba tea shop, and finding a bench that was miraculously empty and wasn’t far from the cafe Mayoi and Niki were in. The two sat in silence for a while, letting the bustling of the afternoon Sunday fill the air between them. Rinne was already drinking on his boba while Tatsumi still held onto his. The straw was still in its plastic wrapper.

“It’s not that I have bad memories of a cafe. But the cafe reminded me of…” Tatsumi started. Rinne went silent, occasionally giving him a glance but otherwise letting him continue. 

“Well… of the day I died.”

Timeline 12, April 21st 

There was this cafe that Aira had brought up multiple times. Their menu ranging from drinks to desserts were both cute in appearance and full of flavor with the right amount of sweetness in taste. It’s also quite a small place, its location more secluded which makes it the perfect hangout area for friends and cute dates for couples. 

Tatsumi was not sure what he and Mayoi were, yet. But he knew that ever since Aira brought the cafe up, Mayoi had been very eager to visit it. The only problem was that, the cafe was a distance away by train. And being occupied with school and work, finding time to make the commute was hard.

It didn’t stop Tatsumi from planning their day out. As simple as it was, he looked up their schedule, even conversing with Hiiro and Aira about the jobs they could take and the practices they have to do in order to free up at least one day with good weather, where it wouldn’t be so crowded, either. 

Tatsumi chose the day and even made train ticket reservations. He picked out an outfit. He even went to Mayoi to tell him about it, and the two were excited.

Unfortunately, all of that planning came for naught. 

A week before their date, Tatsumi received a call from his father. Not rare, but still surprising. Their church was invited for this small but important event with a few other organizations and families. Something that would give them funds to fix their old church. 

And as the only son of the Kazehaya family, Tatsumi was required to go. 

He refrained from having a shouting match with his father. Yes, he was extremely upset and yes he wanted to kick something, but he already have one permanently injured foot and he would still like to dance. Thank you very much. It pained Tatsumi to have to tell Mayoi that their date had to be changed, but thankfully he was understanding. 

Doesn’t make it any less upsetting.

If anything, Tatsumi was slightly annoyed he didn’t try harder to stand his ground. 

Dressed in a black suit and purple tie that brought his eyes out, Tatsumi found himself surrounded by older adults dressing as formally as him, even though their venue was a rented out warehouse. To be fair, the inside was beautifully decorated, giving the illusion that they were in a ball. 

Tatsumi realized then on why he was specifically required to come. 

He was an idol. A popular one, at that. Even if his name had been run through mud two years ago, with Alkaloid he had been steadily getting well-known once again. And because he was popular, organizations and family would want to mingle with the Kazehayas to maybe get closer to the son. 

At the very least, true to his father’s words he only seemed interested in finding a sponsor to help with the church. And while his heart was stung at being used without his knowledge, Tatsumi would be glad that it was all in the name of preserving their holy home. 

Not many talked to him. Good, he wasn’t really in a talking mood. 

But when a new family came through the doors, blonde hair caught his eyes.

Tatsumi thought he was hallucinating, but a glance over and sure enough; his junior, Aira Shiratori, is also here. 

There are two adults beside him, one with blonde hair. Those must be his parents then, and already they were mingling about with the other guests of high status. Aira looked out of place, and Aira looked like he didn’t want to be there. 

The blonde parent leaned down to whisper something to Aira, who nodded tiredly and started making his way to the food table. However, someone was already gathering his attention, and he doesn’t seem very eager to let the blonde be alone. 

Tatsumi felt protectiveness bubble inside of him, legs already walking across the floor to get to Aira as fast as possible. He didn’t even spare a glance to the waiter that had an empty tray, placing his equally empty wine glass on it. 

“Surely an idol like you already has acquired tastes. Come, try! My family is the one that sponsored the drinks and I assure you, they are quite lovely.”

“U-Um…”

“My, you must be a Kotsuki then. I heard they were the ones to give the drinks from the table.” Despite Tatsumi’s voice laced with politeness, he had simply snatched the glass that was in front of Aira. Such a rude gesture, if the man’s shocked face was to come by. But Aira’s relieved expression was worth it. 

“Kotsuki Doku, at your service.” The man nodded, his previous expression now schooled to be one of politeness. With someone there, Doku immediately excused himself and walked away. 

Tatsumi felt himself relaxing, idly swinging the liquid around the glass when he faced Aira. “Aira-san, are you alright?” 

“I’m fine… Tattsun-senpai, I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

“Same to you.”

The wine in the glass he took was disposed off quickly. The way the man behaved told Tatsumi that it could be drugged. 

Now that they were together, the event felt more bearable. Of course, those who knew of Alkaloid would be extremely surprised to find two of the members here, but to prevent causing a scene, no one batted an eye to them. A couple came to talk to Tatsumi, thankfully leaving Aira be who had no idea what he was supposed to be doing in this situation.

After awhile, the two were parched and head their way to the food table, where there was a bowl of punch. A waiter was currently refilling its contents. 

“When will this eeend…” Aira quietly complained as the two stood nearby, waiting for the bowl to be finished. Tatsumi laughed, and when the waiter finished stirring the punch and left, the two poured themselves a cup of fruity punch.

“How about we go outside for some fresh air? It might last for another hour or two.” Tatsumi suggested. Aira groaned at having been told it would continue, but he agreed to the idea and the two left the venue to go out to the night. 

They walked to a nearby garden, lamp posts giving light. It was a pretty sight. 

“So, um, did you manage to go for your date with Mayo-san?”

The reminder of what he had to sacrifice for today’s event immediately soured Tatsumi’s mood. His face must have shown, because Aira cringed and immediately apologized. 

“We moved the date to next week… but it is still a shame. I was looking forward to today.” 

He lifted the cup to his lips, already tilting it to allow the contents to go down his throat when he heard Aira mutter something beside him. 

“Wait… why does it smell weird?”

Too late. 

A blinding pain overtook his mouth and throat, body immediately bent forward as he spat out his drink. But instead of the punch he had been drinking, blood was splattered onto the asphalt walkway they were on. It dribbled down his chin as he stared at the color in a daze. But then the pain came back, and it felt like he was being burned alive. 

He wretched, he screamed, tears streamed from his eyes and blood kept on pouring out. Aira was screaming from beside him, his own drink having dropped.

“Tattsun-senpai what’s wrong?!?”

He didn’t know how to respond. Was something in that drink? 

The pain tripled, most notably in the stomach but who was he to keep track? 

His eyes rolled in the back of his head as his knees buckled beneath him. He couldn’t catch himself on time, letting gravity pull him downwards.

He didn’t feel the impact of hitting the ground before darkness overtook his vision.

…

The last thing he saw was the rest of Alkaloid in the practice room, smiling at him.

Timeline 126, September 15th

Rinne stared at Tatsumi with wide eyes, his brain slowly processing the experience Tatsumi faced. It maybe took another minute, but it didn’t make it any less shocking.

“Wait wait wait wait- you got fucking poisoned??”

“A waiter had this hatred for idols for whatever reason. So when he heard an idol was going to be present, he slipped in and got the job.” Tatsumi looked at the boba tea in his hand. He took the straw out and poked it in, but he still made no move to drink it. “It was ironic, considering I had suspected Kutsuki-san to drug the wine he was going to give to Aira-san.”

“... Did he drug the wine?”

“Yes, actually. But it was just a drug to make him drowsy. Not to… actually kill him.”

Tatsumi looked pained staring at the boba. It only took Rinne a moment later to realize why.

“Ah- shit, sorry. I didn’t know-”

“You didn’t know.” Tatsumi easily interrupted. He finally took one tiny sip. It must have taken him so much courage to finally swallow, but when nothing happened, he allowed himself to relax a tiny bit. 

“Aira-san would have gotten poisoned if I hadn’t drunk first. Still, it was the worst pains I’ve ever experienced. Would not recommend getting poisoned. In fact, I thought it would have been less bloody, but whatever poison that man had got in his hands must have been one of the stronger kinds.”

It was unnerving seeing Tatsumi be so calm about it. But maybe he had accepted his fate after so many timelines had passed. 

“And then I woke up in the next timeline, confused and scared. I refused to drink anything, not even water. When I passed out from dehydration and woke up in the infirmary, HiMERU-san was there. That’s how we learned that we were stuck in some kind of timeloop.”

Rinne was still quiet, shocked and disturbed that someone was willing to poison someone. Maybe it was a wrong place, wrong time kind of scenario, but it still… hurt. Heck, he wasn’t the one getting poisoned and it bothered Rinne all the same!

“You don’t have to worry about me.” Tatsumi said, as if noticing Rinne’s distressed feelings. “When Kohaku-san ‘woke’ up, he found the person that poisoned me and-”

He suddenly stopped. And for a moment, Rinne had thought it was because Tatsumi was going to keep whatever Kohaku did to the guy a secret, but the true reasoning made itself known in the form of screams steadily growing louder and louder. 

Rinne turned, gauging where the sound was coming from when he spotted a car failing to brake on time. It disappeared from his vision, but based on the sound of crashing, they had gotten into an accident.

… Right where Eden was supposed to be doing their event.

“Shit!” Rinne had dropped his boba when standing, already booking it down the street. He passed by the cafe just as Mayoi and Niki emerged, worried. Mayoi had the same dreaded expression Rinne had, as if knowing what was going to happen. But Niki was clueless, following them but questioning what was happening all the same. 

As they turned the corner, they found a section of the road actually being blocked off for the event. However, based on the various car crashed within the area, it failed to send the message. He immediately spotted Nagisa numbly knelt on the ground, beside Ibara’s bloodied body who laid motionless. 

Niki and Mayoi ran over to them, but Tatsumi was looking around, trying to find the remaining members. 

The recent car crashed into another nearest to them, but there was one more further down the road that crashed into a van that seemed to be from ES- having fire on their engines that was steadily increasing in size. Both Tatsumi and Rinne ran over to take a closer look, but immediately stopped.

Hiyori laid on the road, battered and bloodied with eyes shot wide and staring at nothing. The blood scraped on the road beneath his body, indicating he had somehow been run over by the vehicle. 

Rinne can’t help but cover his mouth in shock, his boba threatening to come up and out his mouth again from the horrible sight. And he hunted animals regularly. Still, there was one more they are missing.

“..elp…!”

It was faint, but Rinne heard it. Looking at the cars, he suddenly realized Jun was stuck beneath the vehicle, crushing him. Most of his body was underneath, but his head and left arm was still out, which was weakly reaching towards them. Blood flowed down from the side of his head, and there’s a nasty looking wound on his right cheek. His arm was coated in blood and injuries. 

The redhead took a step forward, but felt the blazing heat from the fire and found himself stopping. Tatsumi sprinted forward, despite the fire getting bigger and basically overtaking the van. Rinne could hear Tatsumi’s painful shout when he touched the car, and pulled the sleeves over his hands to resume pushing. 

It seemed like nothing was happening, despite Tatsumi trying his best.

Jun was openly crying and Rinne had never seen the younger cry before. 

Amidst the numbing shock that permeated through his body, Mayoi and Niki had appeared before them. They were saying something, but Rinne wasn’t listening. Mayoi was running forward, attempting to help Tatsumi.

Niki was about to do the same when Rinne grabbed onto his arm instead, pulling him back.

“Wha-?!”

Niki had only just turned to look at Rinne, when suddenly the cars exploded. 

The heat that blasted was strong, and Rinne pulled Niki into a hug as he turned them around, shielding him from most of the blast. There were more screams. Familiar screams. But he only held Niki tighter even with the man struggling against his hold. 

Only after, did Rinne gain the courage to look over his shoulder.

A blazing bonfire took the cars. Whatever was inside was now scorching and melting- Jun included. The boy was nowhere to be seen- Tatsumi as well. But there’s a body that’s on fire nearby. Mayoi was down on the ground, sobbing louder than before as he screamed Tatsumi’s name over and over again.

Let this nightmare end… Let this nightmare end… 

Rinne closed his eyes, hugging Niki tighter again. 

A strange feeling ran through his body, like being lurched and pulled somewhere even though he himself was not moving. It felt nauseating 

When he opened his eyes again, he was back on his bed, and his alarm was ringing.

He stayed in bed for another ten more minutes until he finally took his phone and turned off the alarm. With it, he read the date and time. 

November 15th, 9:12 a.m.

… Did they just jump forward in time?

Chapter Text

Timeline 127, November 15th

Rinne found himself in the dormitory he shared with Kanata and Hiyori. The latter, currently in bed and scrolling through his phone leisurely. He still wore his pajamas, telling Rinne that Hiyori had woken up not long ago. However, he did give Rinne a bit of a stink eye.

“Took you long enough to close that alarm!” He huffed, complaining without any ill intent. 

Seeing Hiyori alive, Rinne let out a breath he didn’t know was holding in. The last timeline was still fresh on his mind, but he wasn’t panicking- not as much as before at least. Was this how it was going to feel like everytime? He finally got out of bed, stretching his limbs and hearing the satisfying popping sounds.

After refreshing himself to be more awake, he found several messages from HiMERU.

HiMERU: Ayase told me what happened. However, Tatsumi is not in his dorm. Please come to the practice room ASAP. 

He had never grabbed his coat so fast and left the dorm, leaving both a confused Hiyori and his headband behind. 

“... And that’s what happened.” Rinne finished recalling the events of what happened in the last timeline to send them to the next. The others; Kohaku and HiMERU, nodded in understanding. 

“So it is safe to assume that Tatsumi-han got killed by that explosion, too.” Kohaku guessed. Mayoi let out a pitiful whimper as he nodded. 

When Rinne got to the practice room, everyone except for Aira and Tatsumi were there. HiMERU had planned on doing a search party in case Tatsumi did something extremely stupid, but a few minutes before Rinne arrived, Tatsumi had messaged Mayoi. He told him that he was okay, but he needed to be alone.

According to HiMERU, they tend to do really stupid things after they die in the previous timelines.

“Are you sure it’s okay to let Tatsumi-chan be alone?” Rinne asked. Seeing as the danger had passed, they were now seated on the floor again. HiMERU had his laptop with him, already doing the process of checking for the events in this timeline.

“Tatsumi-han can handle himself.” Kohaku said, before sighing. “Better than the rest of us, at least.”

At the quizzical look Rinne sent towards him, Kohaku shrugged lamely. “It’s hard to act normal after you wake up from dying.”

“W-What Kohaku-san meant is that, we have our ways to cope with our deaths.” Mayoi piped in. “Sometimes it’s easier to deal with it. Other times, we wish for our deaths to just be permanent.”

Morbid, but Rinne can get where Mayoi was getting at. This was simply just Tatsumi trying to cope with his death. One of the many deaths he experienced. If anything, Tatsumi was a seasoned veteran in this field, so Rinne doesn't have a lot of right to question it.

“But, um, Rinne-san? How are you feeling? It must have been terrible… And to have experience a time loop, too.” 

It was sweet that Mayoi was checking on him. He waved his hand dismissively. “Ehh, I’m fine. It was terrible, yea, but I didn’t die. I was just worried sick for Niki since he was there, too.”

He sent Niki a text earlier. Sure enough, the man was still alive and clueless as to what happened.

“So, what’s the plan?” 

“There’s a parent-teacher meeting in Yumenosaki next week.” HiMERU suddenly said.

“... Yea, no, I don’t remember it being a usual event.”

“It isn’t, think of it like the jobs HiMERU mentioned in the last timeline. Except this time, it’s a school event. But seeing as this is an idol school, it’s pretty much the same thing.” HiMERU continued, but something in his voice didn't sit well with Rinne.

Mayoi seemed to feel the same way. “What date exactly?” He asked.

“27th.”

They were suddenly silent. 

Rinne had thought seeing the deaths of his colleagues was terrible, or the fact they’re stuck in the timeloop. But the silence that ran through them was so loud, it made Rinne shudder in slight fear. He never thought the silence could be so scary. 

“What’s going on on the 27th?” Rinne dreaded to ask, but he had to know or else he’ll just be left in the dark. Kohaku snapped out of his thoughts then, and reached for his phone in his pockets, messaging someone. Meanwhile, Mayoi turned to him.

“It’s Aira-san’s birthday…” Mayoi said, but the way he trailed off suggested there was more. So Rinne quirked an eyebrow, prompting the Alkaloid member to spit out the second half of what he wanted to say. But not without trembling a bit, his eyes closed, as if the words were too much for him to say.

“It’s… also when Aira died for the first time.” 

Ah, suddenly that explains things. 

“We’ve been lucky to avoid this date for the majority of the past timelines. But the last time we had a 27th November, Shiratori couldn’t handle it.” HiMERU solemnly said. At this point, he had closed his laptop, now putting his attention on the conversation at hand. 

But Rinne still doesn’t quite get it. Though most of his confusion was due to not knowing how Aira died. Yet, seeing the concern on everyones’ faces, Rinne found himself dreading on knowing. 

“Rabu-han is okay for now.” Kohaku breathed out, still looking at his phone. “Classes are distracting him. He requests to leave him alone until the 27th as he mentally prepares himself.”

“Well, at least he’s trying.” HiMERU mumbled. Whether or not he meant to say it out loud, no one really responded. 

Later that evening, Hiiro found him around ES while holding a paper. It was about the parent-teacher meeting for next week. Something in Rinne turn warm as he signed himself as the legal guardian of Hiiro. 

26th November 

His breath stenched of alcohol, but despite that Rinne wasn’t drunk. Maybe tipsy at worst. The three cans of beer he had laid on the coffee table in front of him, though only one was opened, all three having water dotting the sides due to condensation before eventually slipping down and forming a small puddle. 

Rinne looked at the condensation dripping down, before finally looking back up at the clock mounted on the wall. Its hands seemingly mocking him as it remained at 11:10 P.M. for what seemed like forever. In fifty minutes, it will be the 27th. 

Whatever happens the next day… Rinne doesn’t know what to think. 

Over the past week, he had been talking with the others. Even Tatsumi had recovered and was acting as he usually does. He tried to keep an eye and ear out for the other idols in case they end up being the next victim, but so far nothing. He didn’t realize how agitated he had gotten now that the day was crawling closer and closer. 

The beer was an impulsive buy, and Rinne wasn’t proud of it. Every sip felt like vomit in his mouth, and he wanted to just spit it out. But he wanted- he needed to not care. He needed to calm down, to stop caring long enough that he could maybe pass out and get enough energy to meet with the teachers tomorrow. 

Fucking hell, Rinne doesn’t know why he’s so worried. The others were reassuring him that nothing bad was going to happen, but there’s this fear and anxiety pooling at the bottom of his stomach. 

He wasn’t sure when it happened, but the thought of a tomorrow made his stomach churn. What if tomorrow someone dies? What if tomorrow, a timeloop happens? 

Rinne didn’t know how he thought he would be able to handle any of this. He thought that maybe he could be a bit more helpful, be his goofy ass self to cheer people up. But he just doesn't have enough time to be able to make a difference. The minute he tries, time resets and he's back at the start. Literally.

Grim, he took another sip, forcing the liquid down his throat. 

The sound of keys jingling diverted his eyes to look at the front door. It opened, revealing a tired looking Niki at the other side. He looked absolutely exhausted, still wearing his work uniform, but that exhaustion had been replaced with surprise upon seeing Rinne. Then it turned into exasperation once he spotted the cans of beer. 

“Jeez, what am I gonna do with you, Rinne-kun? Did you use my money again?!” Niki was nagging his ear off as he went about taking his bag off and freshening up, disappearing to one room to the next but with how small the apartment is, Rinne could clearly hear his words anyway. At one point, Rinne would have rebuttled back with an annoying comment, riling Niki up further. 

But not tonight. Rinne could hear Niki, but he wasn’t really aware of what Niki was saying. He blankly focused his gaze on the can in his hand.

To anyone that (unfortunately) knew Rinne long enough, him being silent would never be a good thing. But combine a silent Rinne with a beer can and a distant look on his face, well, it’s a major concern. And for Niki, he knows Rinne. 

So when Rinne responded with silence, Niki stopped what he was doing. 

Rinne could feel the beer being taken from his hand- with little resistance from himself. Niki placed it somewhere safe, and knelt in front of him. Rough hands being held by equally rough but slimmer hands, Rinne was faced with a worried Niki. The single lamp turned on, illuminating and framing Niki’s concerned face. 

“Rinne-kun, I don’t know what’s happening with you, I don’t know why you decided to drink today, but you’ve been acting weird the past week. I’m…” Niki’s voice hitched then, and Rinne found himself lifting one hand to place on Niki’s cheek. 

He don’t think he’s ever done it before. Probably in fantasies. 

But the touch felt familiar. 

Niki shuddered a little at the touch, but he made no move to push it away. He simply just used his other hand to place it over Rinne’s. 

(Again, familiar.)

“I’m scared.” Niki finally continued. “I don’t know what’s going on inside that brain of yours. But clearly there’s something! You’ve been keeping it inside and- I thought we were past that already? Not that I’m putting you down-” 

He inhaled sharply, trying to gather his thoughts.

“Just… talk to me, please? I thought I’ve known you long enough to be able to guess, but there’s something else happening, is there? Something I don’t know about?”

Rinne didn’t like how his body involuntarily flinched at being called out. Seeing this, Niki looked even more concerned.

“W-What happened?! Are you in trouble? In danger, perhaps?!”

The way Niki fretted over him, Rinne could hardly believe it’s the same Niki that always complained or nagged at him for using his money, yet letting him do whatever he wanted anyway. 

Rinne doesn’t deserve him. 

“Oi! Stop looking at me like that- it’s like you’re going to die or something!” Now Niki was distressed, slapping Rinne on the cheek lightly. “Come on, talk! Or- Or I’ll do something!”

“It’s fine, Niki.” Rinne spoke for the first time in what seemed like hours. His throat felt awfully rough and sore, and he spotted Niki wincing slightly at the sound. “I don’t want to worry you.”

“Well, I don’t want you looking like someone hosted a funeral.” Niki grumbled back. But he squeezed Rinne’s hand reassuringly. “Tell me anyway?”

Rinne remembered HiMERU’s words (or the lack thereof) regarding telling others about the timeloops. He couldn’t think of any consequences of telling Niki, but he also couldn’t think of the advantages of having Niki know about it.

Perhaps it’s the alcohol in his system, because he decided to open his big mouth and tell Niki about the timeloops, anyway. 

He refrained from mentioning the other members of the ‘woke’ club, only bringing up the accidents that occurred which resulted in the timeloop- being, the SS competition where Rinne first died, and the incident with Eden in the last timeloop. 

Once finished, Niki was looking at him strangely. Uncomfortable silence filled the space the longer Niki mulled over his thoughts, and Rinne kept on glancing at the beer, wanting to at least have something to do with his hands. It’s likely Niki won’t believe him, anyway, but-

“That’s so weird, I didn’t think you’d have the same dream as me!” 

The absolute curveball that dropped as Rinne snapped his head back to face Niki, his expression baffled. Niki was smiling nonchalantly, and Rinne felt like there was something weird about that. It was how Niki usually smiled, yes, but it didn’t feel right. Especially not for this. 

“I- what do you mean?” Rinne was desperately trying to make sense of what Niki meant. Did Niki have a dream about the previous timeloop? How the hell did that even happen? If so, does that meant he knew what happened to Eden-?! 

“It’s a pretty crappy nightmare- imagine having an event for the fans when you suddenly got run over by a car, or get exploded into one.” Niki continued to speak, seemingly unaware of Rinne’s internal thoughts that’s currently in a tornado, swirling around with nothing making sense. “Probably just a coincidence, but hey! Not the weirdest thing to happen to ES Idols.”

Niki was standing up, detaching himself from Rinne’s hands.

“Niki-”

“Maybe you should take some days off. We have the actual SS to practice for within the upcoming months.” 

Something was wrong. Something was really wrong. Niki sounded so… unbothered. 

Rinne sat up straight, still seated, but he had one hand reaching out for Niki who was moving farther away from him rapidly. 

“Wait- No, Niki- it’s- ī̵͕̱̊ͅț̴̡̨̬͈͍͚͉̗̯̇̈́ ̵̞̣̦̝̯̹̝͙̇̍̈́͐̈̓͑̕͠͝'̴̧̯͕̹̺̩͙͔̌̌́'̷̰͒s̸͚͉̭͎̯̄̈́̕͜ ̸̡̔̍̊r̵̡̻̩̺̪̣̃̅̓͌͒E̷̡͔̠͆͐̽͛̍͑̈̕͝4̸̛͙͔̗̥̼͚̝͆̓̑̂ ̵͎͎̦̠͎̯̀̀l̵̫̱̰͔͚̺̙͇͔̾̓́̍̐͛͝L̷̡͖̠͈̘̦͎̐̀̏!”

Suddenly, everything was quiet. Rinne sat, shocked at his own voice as it glitched. It sounded like his voice glitched at least, but the feeling when it happened... it was like running straight first into a wall, blocking him and preventing him from going further. Niki looked at him with a curious expression.

“Hm? Did you say something?” 

Did Niki not hear that? 

At this point, Rinne realized it’s going to be a losing battle. 

“Uh, nothing. Sorry, you should go to bed. It was a long day for you, after all.” 

Niki smiled wildly. “It’s weird to have you be this nice to me, but I will take the chance to finally get some well-earned rest! Anyway, don’t forget to clean up.” 

Rinne knows that even if he didn’t clean up, Niki would do it anyway. And Rinne knew that Niki knew that. 

The sound of the door shutting was the switch to have Rinne slump back against the couch. He was breathing heavily, his heart pounding. What the hell was that? 

With shaking hands, he reached for his phone. 

“11:19…” Rinne mumbled, seeing the time on the screen reflected back at him. 

There’s no way that whole conversation with Niki lasted for nine fucking minutes.

Rinne felt himself grew angry and frustrated over the whole situation. Did the Mastermind decide to fuck with him, erasing the conversation he had with Niki just so Niki doesn’t have to know? What the fuck?!

… But what was the deal with Niki having that dream? 

Yea, no, there is definitely something wrong. 

“Amagi? Why are you calling so late?”

Rinne was standing outside a convenience store, leaning against the bicycle stand with one hand carrying a warm bottle of milk tea, though it felt toasty with the cold temperature surrounding him.

“Something’s wrong with Niki.” Rinne sounded tired as he went straight to the point. Luckily, he had his earphones on so he didn’t have to continue carrying his phone. He hoped there wasn’t anyone nearby hearing him, they would think he’s insane. 

HiMERU was quiet, probably surprised but soon he coughed, and he sounded more awake than ever.

“Elaborate.”

So, Rinne told him everything that happened. Although he didn’t want to, he did have to mention his feelings for the past week regarding tomorrow, but he put emphasize on the weird glitch that happened, and how it seemed like nine minutes passed when to Rinne, it felt like it was a whole half an hour.

“That ever happened to any of you?” Rinne ended his long retelling with a question. 

HiMERU sounded uneasy as he responded. “No… Not ever. HiMERU was the first to be awaken but this is the first time he heard this happening. The glitchiness thing was odd, too.”

“You think it’s the Mastermind’s doing?” Rinne asked. 

“... It’s a probability, but HiMERU doesn’t think so.” 

Rinne opened his bottle of milk tea before drinking it as HiMERU continued. “HiMERU doesn’t have evidence, but this incident is too weird, too out of place to be done by the Mastermind.”

He let out a satisfied ‘ahh’, the taste of toasty warm milk tea warming him up. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, looking at the street sign in front of him. “What’cha thinking, then?”

“It’s a bit of a stretch, but perhaps it’s the work of the timeline itself that’s causing this to happen.”

That piqued Rinne’s interest a little. “Merumeru, you sound so much like a detective just now~”

“Please, shut up.” HiMERU sighed. “It’s not entirely impossible- though if HiMERU was completely honest, anything is a possibility since timeloops are a thing. But because our timeline keeps on looping over and over again, it’s starting to cause… abnormalities.”

“Mh. Sounds possible.” Rinne agreed, but he doesn’t like it. 

“Like HiMERU said, HiMERU has no evidence. But it seemed like the timeloops are working against the Mastermind, as well.”

Rinne thought of Tatsumi’s explanation before, about how the Mastermind has some motive to always loop the timeline whenever an idol dies. Said motive is still a mystery. 

“The more our timeline loops, the more our timeline gets corrupted.” Rinne stated out loud. “We’re quite literally working against time, both us and the Mastermind.”

To his surprise, an airy chuckle could be heard from the other end of the call. It made Rinne’s stomach flutter slightly. 

“Haha, it would seem so.” There was a brief moment of pause, before HiMERU continued. “HiMERU would let the others know about this. The parent teacher meeting is in a couple hours. You should rest up.”

Rinne didn’t feel like sleeping, but he knew HiMERU was right. Regardless of whether or not this loop would stay, Rinne would feel like shit if he portrayed himself poorly to Hiiro’s teachers.

“Yea, yea, you’re right.”

“Goodnight, then.”

“G’night.”

The telltale sounds of a call ended was soon replaced by the faint engine sounds from distant cars, and maybe a cricket or two. Rinne sighed, taking another sip. 

Once done, he threw the bottle away and went home. 

27th November

Hiiro’s a good kid, Rinne knew this.

And Hiiro’s academic results were ridiculously good for someone that grew up in their hometown. 

The older Amagi had to resist smiling maniacally when he was told by the teachers of how well his performance was in all of his exams and homework. If only he could take all of this back to their hometown and shove onto the elders’ faces and say, ‘See! Hiiro isn’t dumb or stupid!’.

Hiiro looked happy that Rinne was happy, at least.

By the time the meeting was over, it was near the end of the day. There was no school, apparently, to hold the meeting. But clubs are still ongoing, and Hiiro waved Rinne goodbye before running off to Karate.

Rinne found himself walking around for a bit, hands in his pockets as he spotted various Yumenosaki students mingling about, or with their guardians. He had never been inside of a school before, so he allowed himself to take in the infrastructure. To his surprise, he spotted Anzu being dragged away by an eager Sora, talking about wanting to do an experiment. The producer only managed to give Rinne a sheepish wave before she disappeared back inside the building. 

Suddenly, the wind blew past, and Rinne felt an uneasy feeling wash over him. 

He found himself looking up right there and then, and felt his chest tighten when he spotted Aira standing near the edge of the rooftop, the only thing holding him back was the railings but he could still climb over if-

Sneakers dug into the dirt as Rinne sprinted into the building, dodging a student here and there before finding the staircase. He climbed up the stairs, two at a time, never stopping no matter how much his thighs hurt. 

By the time he reached the top, Rinne was somewhat out of breath. But he slammed the door to the rooftop open, the metal clanging against the wall that it rang against his ear. Even Aira, who was still standing safe and sound thankfully, had turned around in shock. 

“R-Rinne-senpai?!” Aira squeaked out, surprise evident on his face. “I- what are you doing here?!”

Why did Rinne rush here? He stuffed his hands in his pockets, pretending to act nonchalant even though he was still breathing heavily. He walked forward, and Aira watched. It felt odd having Aira’s eyes on him like that, but Rinne pretended to not care until he was standing right beside him. He looked over the railing, seeing the drop.

“That’s quite high.” Rinne commented. Aira looked over the railing as well, an indescribable expression on his face. 

“... It is.”

The older idol glanced over at Aira, watching how the grip he had on the railing was tight and tense, his eyes not looking down but seemingly something else entirely. 

Today was the day when Aira died for the first time. 

Rinne was reminded how shitty this day was going to be for Aira, and he still had to keep up appearances for the birthday party in ES afterwards. He could see the contemplative look on Aira’s face, so he kept quiet, letting Aira sort through his thoughts. All the while, Rinne kept himself occupied by looking down at the ant-size students playing a sport, or walking home. 

“It was stupid.” Aira began, his voice small. The wind picked up then, and Rinne caught a glimpse of Aira fixing his bangs when the wind messed it up. “I was stupid…”

“You aren’t..” Rinne automatically responded, but Aira shook his head.

And although Aira’s voice was small, his words held weight as he told Rinne of how he died. 

Timeline 90, May 9th

Aira was running up the rooftop. 

Why was he running?

Because he accidentally confessed to Hiiro. 

To rewind, they were in Aira’s classroom as everyone already left for the day, but Aira wanted to do some studying and Hiiro, being a good friend, decided to help him out. 

Except Aira can’t focus on his work, instead his eyes were stuck on Hiiro’s fluffy hair that made him want to run his hands over, or his pretty blue eyes that seemed so focused on his own work, or how the sunset from the window framed his face perfectly. 

Aira had a crush on Hiiro for a while, but that was it. A crush. So Aira had thought that it would go away after sometime… But it’s been over a month now, and Aira realized that this crush was not going away. He kept it to himself, knowing that if Hiiro were to know of his feelings, then things would change between them forever.

But for right now, when it’s just the two of them in an empty classroom, studying calmly… It felt nice. Too nice, that Aira was unaware of Hiiro lifting his head and spotting Aira staring at him. He grinned, and that made Aira’s heart skip a beat. 

“What’s wrong, Aira?” Hiiro had asked.

“I think I like you.” Was what Aira responded with. 

So, that led him to where he is now. On the rooftop with a red face and regret filling his heart. It was incredibly stupid of him to just up and leave like that, but he couldn’t bear to see how Hiiro would react!.He wasn’t sure what was worse- rejection or… or something else. 

Aira was still reeling from his stupidity, he was unaware of the sound of the rooftop door opening, and footsteps coming towards him.

“Aira?”

The call of his name from that dumb, cute voice of Hiiro’s caused Aira to freeze.

He was afraid to look. 

But Hiiro knelt in front of him, reaching to grasp his hands on his own. And though Aira was still afraid, he looked. 

Hiiro was smiling, his cheeks a shade of red. 

Why is he looking at me like that? Does he…? No- No! He can’t give himself hope!

“You left so suddenly, I got worried.” Hiiro said softly, squeezing Aira. “I didn’t have time to say anything…”

“I’m sorry.” Aira blurted out. “I- I shouldn’t have said anything, I didn’t want to make it weird between us and-”

“Aira, I like you too.” 

Hiiro’s words rendered Aira speechless. The only thing he was aware of was the rapid beating of his heart. 

“Y-You’re… you’re lying.” Aira hoped he wasn’t. 

Hiiro laughed a little, somehow finding it as a joke. But then he lifted Aira’s hand up and pressed it against his own chest. Aira widened his eyes, cheeks flushed once more at the contact, but also because of the heart beating erratically under his palms. 

“I like you.” Hiiro whispered. “Have been for a while, actually. I’m really happy to know you like me.” 

Aira didn’t know what to say. All he did know, was that his other hand fisted the front of Hiiro’s shirt and pulled him down, smashing their lips together. 

June 16th

Alkaloid had just finished their Live when Hiiro grabbed Aira’s wrist, pulling him into their dressing room and leaving their confused seniors behind to talk to the backstage workers. 

Aira was confused, but then Hiiro was shutting the door and pressing Aira against the surface, locking their lips together. Suddenly, Aira’s worries and thoughts went away as he followed the sensation of Hiiro’s sweaty and hot body against his own.

It had been over a month since they started dating, and Aira learned that once Hiiro was taught how basic romance works, he was very eager to try them out. But Aira failed to realize just how big his libido was going to be. They haven’t done anything of the sort, obviously… but there were at least a few times where it got close to that.

Aira wondered why Hiiro was kissing him senseless now, until he remembered that the two were so busy with Idol work that they haven’t got the time to be with each other.

That’s probably why… Aira thought, having to break the kiss to get air. But Hiiro wasn’t done, and he moved to start kissing and nipping his neck- not hard to leave a mark, but enough for Aira to feel tingly and hot all over. Seriously, how did Hiiro learn all of this so quickly?! It’s like he was a master at giving kisses! 

They spent maybe another minute before Hiiro finally let up, simply just hugging Aira, his chin resting on his shoulder. Aira closed his eyes, simply enjoying the feeling of having Hiiro’s arms around him. 

“I’m really happy, Aira.” Hiiro whispered.

Aira smiled. “I’m happy, too, Hiro-kun.” 

June 23rd

Someone leaked photos of Hiiro and Aira being intimate on twitter. 

It was a new account, definitely an alt, but they posted half a dozen photos of Hiiro and Aira either holding hands, or kissing. One of them was even in the dressing room where they made out about a month ago, but the angle suggested the camera was hidden somewhere in the room without them knowing. 

The account was reprimanded and handled by ES but the damage was already done. 

Photos taken without their consent were reposted all over the internet. There were even videos talking about it. 

Aira tried to avoid them- as suggested by Eichi, but he couldn’t help it. He scrolled down comments, reading everything and anything he could find. The more he read, the pit in his stomach grew bigger to the point he felt physically sick. He had at least thought there would be a bit more support… but everywhere he looked, there was just negative responses. Ranging from fangirls screaming about how they “lied” or got “baited”, to being called slurs for liking boys. 

What’s worse was how everyone seemed to be painting Aira as the villain.

Hiiro’s cheery and somewhat aloof personality was a win to the fans- but because of that, they seem to think that Aira was the one that took advantage of Hiiro’s “innocence”. They were somehow convinced that Aira was playing Hiiro due to Aira’s history as an idol fan. That Aira became an idol just to get in the pants of someone who’s a true idol.

Ignore the fact that their privacy and boundaries were breached, or that someone was actively stalking them to be able to collect those photos. Common decency was thrown out the window to fulfill the role of the bad guy in the story. 

“Aira…?” 

Hiiro’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and Aira looked at Hiiro, who seemed just as tired as he was about the whole situation. The two were hiding out in Aira’s dorm. As recommended by both Eichi and Anzu, the two will have to stay low and Alkaloid would have to be on hiatus until everything blows over. 

It was suffocating. It felt like he was a bird in a cage. 

Aira reached out for Hiiro’s hand, and he squeezed, as if trying to reassure both himself and Hiiro that everything would be okay.

It would be okay, right? 

Hiiro took a moment, before weakly squeezing back. 

July 10th 

For some reason, the recent scandal seemed like the perfect excuse for everyone to talk shit about Aira. It’s not even about the fact he was dating Hiiro- they just… never liked him. 

Honestly, his cutesy persona shit is so cringe, who even likes that shit? Doesn’t fit with the rest of Alkaloid- he’s ruining their image! 

Ngl never liked aira’s voice, its so squeaky like hes trying so hard to be cute when he’s not

The hell is he trying to flaunt his quarter french blood for? Newsflash no one cares about that! 

Even the regular Alkaloid fan accounts Aira often frequented had revealed their true colors, showing their disdain for the Heart member of the group. Everyone expressed their sympathy for the others, for having to deal with Aira everyday. 

Surely Mayoi, Tatsumi and Hiiro don’t feel that way, right? 

Hiiro had been busy, these days. 

“Aira-san, your drink will get cold.” Tatsumi spoke calmly and with a kind smile. They were in Cafe Cinnamon, the first time Aira stepped in since the scandal. Despite it being over a month, for some reason it was still the trend. Everyones’ eyes were on them- both idols and regular customers alike as they whispered and flashed him dirty looks. Even one of them was taking a photo- likely posting online. 

Aira tried to not let it get to him- if he showed his vulnerability, it would give them more the reason to attack. His hands reached for the ceramic cup, and indeed it wasn’t as hot as it used to be. The foam kitty cat jiggled as he moved the cup closer. 

“Sorry, Tattsun-senpai.” Aira weakly said. It was no use trying to pretend in front of Tatsumi and Mayoi. Ever since the negative responses tripled since the start, the two seniors had made sure to look after both of them. But when Hiiro started getting more busy for some reason, Tatsumi and Mayoi focused on him.

They shouldn’t be looking after him, they should be worried about their leader. 

“No need to apologize. God knows that you and Hiiro-san did nothing wrong. Don’t let the words of those that do not know of your private lives hurt you.” Tatsumi picked up his cup, still smiling but his eyes betrayed the heavy worry it held. “We are here for you. Anzu-san and Eichi-san are doing their best to resolve the situation.”

Aira tapped on the ceramic with his finger. His grip felt weak, when was the last time he had a proper meal?

… What if those comments were right, though? Aira had always been the weakest, the slowest in learning, he had been the one holding them back for who knows how long now. And he knew that his cute persona may not be liked by everyone but… was he trying too hard? Was he too fake? 

Aira’s head hurt. 

July 20th

Aira was belittled and called names by both his classmates and the other schoolmates. It was gradual, a snicker or a comment here and there. But then they develop into full-blown insults or verbal abuse. Only a few ever physically hurt him, if it weren’t for Sensei Jin’s interference a couple of times. 

It seemed like everyone in his grade just… suddenly despised him. The 3rd years were even more ruthless, acting like ‘protectors’ to Hiiro when Aira was pretty certain at least 60% of them aren’t even Hiiro’s friends. It was basically hell. 

His things would get lost, his personal cardbook that held his favorite pa shots was stolen and when found, it was cut up into tiny pieces, losing its value as well as Aira’s mind. They laughed, they jeered, they poke fun at him for being an idol fan. That he should’ve stayed as a fan. That he should’ve never tried to be with Hiiro for he was never in his league. 

Aira tried so hard to stay strong. Anzu had found him in the midst of his breakdown, and she stayed with him the entire time. “Stay strong,” she said. “Just… wait a little longer, okay? We’ll figure this out.”

He doesn’t know if it would even matter. 

Not when he saw that his desk was vandalized with markers and marked with pen knives, calling him worthless, a nobody. 

Aira just stared at the words as everyone in the classroom laughed, watching the circus happen where the blonde was the main attraction. 

September 4th 

It went from bad to worse. The spotlight never once left Aira, and Starpro was losing its patience in trying to defend him but Eichi and Anzu were insistent. Mayoi and Tatsumi were very vocal about protecting Aira from slander since the situation was getting out of hand. HiMERU and Kohaku were strangely supportive, too, bringing Rinne and Niki along. It was a bit nice to see there were people who believe he was a good person, but…

Hiiro was avoiding him. 

At first, he chalked it up to just Hiiro being overwhelmed and tired with the scandal- Aira would understand. He’d be exhausted, too. But then it shifted to just pure hate for Aira and Hiiro was… avoiding him. 

He’d avoid being in the same room with Aira alone, even refusing to initiate physical contact with him. He had also been eerily quiet. Aira tried to give Hiiro some space, knowing that… well… the mess started because of them. But this was starting to get worrying to the point Aira was overthinking. 

Why was Hiiro avoiding him actively? 

Did… Did Aira actually do something wrong? 

Was it wrong for him to have feelings for Hiiro in the first place? 

He knew the idol industry was rough, but nothing would prepare him for being attacked by the internet, both idol fans and non-idol fans. Ironic, considering Aira himself was familiar with how brutal the internet can be, but… 

Their words were starting to get to him. 

Aira doesn’t know who to put his trust to, anymore. 

He spent most days inside his dorm room, avoiding everyone and everything. Eichi rarely ever came- likely too busy fixing the mess Aira made. But Rei never failed to come by with a bento in hand and ensure he ate his meals. If not Rei, then it would be Tatsumi or Mayoi.

Hehe, this was so stupid.

This whole scandal shit was so… stupid that Aira can’t help but laugh. Even when he was hiding under the covers, concealing himself from the world, he could never run away from his own mind where it was filled to the brim with what everybody had said about him. 

You’re useless.

You don’t deserve to be an idol

You should’ve been fired from the beginning. 

You don’t deserve to be with Alkaloid

You’re nothing but a fake

You don’t deserve to be here. 

You should just fucking die.

You don’t deserve to fucking live. 

“Rabu-han?” Three knocks caused Aira’s breath to hitch, but he refused to move. Kohaku… his best friend (or were they really friends?) was at the other side of the door. He should open the door, he should probably let him in… 

… He doesn’t. 

“I brought bento. Niki-han cooked it for you.” 

Aira has done nothing but be a burden. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel, no end in sight. His life as an idol is over, and it will continue to torment him forever and ever. What used to be something he loved for years that it was practically his whole world- gone. All because he had a crush. All because he wasn’t allowed to love. 

“... I know it’s hard to see it now, with how the way things are…” 

Aira turned over, facing the wall and pointing his back to the rest of the room. Still, Kohaku’s voice was projected enough that Aira could hear it clearly, even with a door separating them. 

“But there are people that do support you, who continue to support you. We… We all care for you, Rabu-han. It’s messy, but we are here.” 

But Hiiro wasn’t, and the thought fractured Aira’s already broken heart.

“We’re always a call or text away. I’ll… I’ll leave the bento outside your door, if you don’t want to see me. I understand.” 

Kohaku was silent, but he did make a bit of noise, as if battling with himself if he should say any more or not. In the end, Kohaku knocked one last time before Aira could hear his footsteps growing fainter and fainter. 

He was alone again. 

… 

Aira wasn’t tired, but he closed his eyes anyway, wishing for sleep to take him and never wake him up.

October 28th 

There was yelling in the meeting room. Aira was trudging his way through the halls when the yells started, initially fainter until it grew in volume and that was when he recognized it was from his unitmates. 

Earlier, he had been given a text by Hiiro himself- the first text he sent in months, and asked him to come to the specified meeting room. Short, straight to the point. Aira had lingered on the earlier texts, where they were both wishing each other a goodnight, and a heart at the end. 

Back to the present, Aira’s steps quickened in slight worry, wondering why they were yelling.

It’s about me. 

Aira reached the door of the meeting room, the yelling was so loud.

I’m breaking them apart. 

He finally entered, and for a moment it was finally silent. 

He noticed Tatsumi and Mayoi standing in front of Hiiro, who was faced towards Aira. Tatsumi and Mayoi were the ones yelling, apparently, as they immediately turned when they heard the door open. The two were breathing a bit too hard. Eichi, Ibara, Anzu- and to his surprise, Rinne, HiMERU and Kohaku were inside as well. 

He could guess why Eichi, Ibara and Anzu were here, but he was unsure of why three of the four members of Crazy:B were present as well. All of them look grim and exhausted.

It was silent and suffocating, until Hiiro reached over to the table and picked up a slip of paper.

Aira made a stupid realization right there and then. This meeting room was the same room when Aira and Hiiro met each other for the first time. When Alkaloid met each other for the first time. Their beginnings. 

“Hiiro-san, no…” Tatsumi weakly said, but Hiiro ignored him as he walked forward and to Aira. Instinctively, Aira stepped back. The boy he loved was not in front of him, rather it’s someone else. Someone unfamiliar. Like a stranger. The blue eyes he always adored looking into was cold and empty, his fluffy red hair more of a mess.

Hiiro didn’t even say anything, but he lifted the paper for Aira to take. He wasn’t looking at him.

With trembling hands, Aira took the paper from him. 

… 

It didn’t take long to reach the part where he was exterminated from Starmaker Productions, and from Alkaloid. 

Signed by Hiiro. 

“... You’re the one kicking me out?” Aira felt like he hadn't spoken for years, with how rough his voice became. He had expected for it to be the higher ups in Starpro or Eichi to be the one to make the final call. But it was Hiiro that finalized that decision. 

Hiiro, who he begged to not leave him alone a year ago, when they were still underachievers. 

Hiiro, who would be the one to end his idol career for good. 

“It’s either you, or the rest of us.” Hiiro’s voice was hollow and even, as if recited so many times. Suddenly, hell broke loose once more as Tatsumi screamed- he screamed at Hiiro, with Mayoi and even HiMERU having to hold the priest back. Calling Hiiro a betrayer, begging for an explanation as to why he would do this. 

Even Rinne looked pissed, but he looked mainly confused. Kohaku was switching from trying to make sure Rinne hadn’t punched a wall, and looking over at Aira. 

Aira himself… he just stared at the paper. 

… 

Haha… 

Everything’s over… 

A small chuckle silenced the room, and everyone looked at Aira who was holding the slip of paper with a tight grip, but there was a wide smile on his face, contrasting the heavy tears pouring down his cheeks. 

“I am grateful to have worked alongside you all!” He said, his voice cheerful and empty, but he bowed politely. “Thank you, for giving me the chance to be the idol I always love and adore~!”

“Aira-san…” Mayoi, the one who would take the chance to always adore Aira’s cuteness, looked upset and even creeped out at the front Aira was displaying. 

No one was believing the happiness Aira was displaying. He wasn’t lying to anyone, no. 

The only one he needed to lie was himself.

“I’ll be going now, thank you for sparing your time with me!” He bowed once more, and swiftly turned. In the midst of everyone yelling, of everyone reaching for him, 

Aira left. 

November 27th

Aira lived the rest of his school days in some kind of bliss, it was actually… nice. The verbal abuse lessened when Aira no longer reacted to anything. He even deactivated all of his social media accounts, no questions asked. 

There was probably an uproar regarding to that, but Aira was left unaware. He doesn’t even want to know what the others were thinking. 

Kohaku had been talking to him, but he looked frustrated and upset every time Aira opened his mouth. Aira knew the reason, but he smiled anyway. Tatsumi took him out for desserts, yet he looked awfully uneasy when Aira mentioned how “Rabui~” the cookie dough flavored dessert was. He then apologized, again with a smile, saying how he shouldn’t be saying “Rabui”. He wasn’t an idol anymore!

Still, he’s still enrolled in Yumenosaki. But that’s okay, Aira had no plans of graduating. 

Mayoi got desperate at some point when he grabbed Aira’s shoulders roughly, practically shouting at his face, begging for Aira to stop hiding, stop putting a front. Honestly, Aira felt bad that Mayoi forced himself to touch someone like him, he knew how hard it is for Mayoi to initiate touch. So he patted him on the head, telling him “Good job!” like the junior he was meant to be, encouraging his senior to not give up. Mayoi cried that day. 

Even HiMERU talked to him, wow! A veteran idol such as HiMERU having the time to talk to a fan like him? Oh, Aira gushed to him about how he loved his earlier performances! Even though his way of dancing was different now. Or how the expressions he makes aren't the same, but that’s okay! Aira’s basically doing the same thing, so if anything it’s pretty much like he was looking up to HiMERU! 

The one that stumped him at first was Hiiro. 

For awhile, the boy wouldn’t even look at him or talk with him, but then he started trying to seek him out everyday! It was flattering, really, but it seemed like every time Hiiro was with him, he was just in pain. 

Stupid Hiiro… he should just stop if it keeps on hurting him so much. Aira told him this one day, and Hiiro actually looked so broken. 

Hiiro stopped seeing him then. 

Funny, the first thing he felt in a while was a bit of sadness as he watched Hiiro stumble away from him, tears in his eyes. 

It's been about a week since then, and Aira treated himself. He bought himself a slice of dry cake from the nearest convenience store and ate it right there and then. He was late for school for an hour, and was given a warning for it. Aira didn’t even go to class, anyway.

He walked around, smiling as he skipped, looking at the interior and committing it to memory. He passed by familiar rooms, both empty and used. 

After awhile, Aira hid on the top of the rooftops. He stayed there for hours, typing out letters for every friend, senior and colleague he interacted with. He even prepared letters for idols he had admired but never interacted as much. He spent a long time on Mayoi and Tatsumi’s, spent even longer on Kohaku’s. Then he got to Hiiro, and his thumbs stopped. 

For the first time since he started typing, he could finally feel the cramps. 

He didn’t know what to say. 

Aira could feel his mask slipping further and further.

He barely even noticed the small patter of rain coming down- a drizzle, but it would soon turn into a rainstorm. 

Aira stared at the screen for a long while, before he typed something simple and short. 

I love you, I’m sorry, thank you for everything. 

The first time he said those three words… It’s a bit sad.

He sent everyone the letters he typed through text, leaving Hiiro for last. After that, Aira stood up and allowed himself to lose his grip, causing his phone to drop on the ground. Just in time too, because it started vibrating rapidly, indicating a call. 

Aira ignored it. 

As the rain poured down around him, Aira shrugged the blue Yumenosaki jacket off his shoulders. He left it behind as he stepped closer and closer to the railings. 

He suddenly remembered his first center event, and the irony of it made him laugh, the rain masking the tears that streamed down his face. 

Aira wasn’t sure if he kicked off his shoes or not. 

All he knew was that he was climbing over, and before he knew it, he was standing at the edge, the only thing keeping him from falling was his grip on the railing. It was heavily slippery, due to the rain, but he held on. Aira leaned as forward as he could, his other hand reaching above him as if reaching for the heavens. 

He could hear gasps from below, and a quick glance down made him notice a growing audience from the ground floor. Some of them he recognized, even Anzu’s pink cardigan was visibly noticeable in a sea of blue. 

Aira smiled. 

He could imagine there were white wings sprouting from behind his back. Finally, finally, he’ll be free. Free from the cage the others had put him inside against his will, free from the torment he himself allowed to happen. 

I feel… happy? Is this what suicide is like-

The door slammed open, and on instinct Aira turned his gaze back to the door. 

Hiiro stood there, breathing heavily, his eyes wide. 

But the movement had caused Aira to lose his grip on the railing, and suddenly he found himself falling backwards.

“AIRA!!!!”

It felt like time slowed down. All he could see was the sky above him as gravity pulled him further down to the ground. He barely just see Hiiro’s head peek over the railing, one hand reached out as if reaching for him.

Somewhere deep inside, Aira realized that he was scared. That he didn’t want to die.

But he didn’t want to suffer anymore. 

So Aira closed his eyes, letting the fall take his last breath as all he could hear was Hiiro calling his name one last time. 

… 

The last thing he remembered was Hiiro’s smile, face blushed as he confessed for the first time. 

Timeline 127, November 27th 

Rinne hugged Aira. 

The second Aira finished, he let the dam break and have the tears fall down his cheeks. Rinne didn’t have any words, but silently pulled him in his arms anyway.

Shit, He can’t imagine Hiiro ever doing that. But either way, what happened was not okay. He felt furious inside, both at the stalker but also at the fans that attacked Aira. Where was the common sense in all of that?! 

“It’s… it’s fine.” Aira mumbled, wiping his eyes. He didn’t seem to want to pull away. “I went through enough timeloops that it’s not that hard retelling it.”

Rinne was still silent, unsure of what to say. 

“Hiro-kun was manipulated by the higherups to kick me out.” Aira continued to explain, surprising Rinne. “Mayo-senpai spied on them during that timeline, so he knew.” 

“Oh… were they-?”

“They were ‘awake’, yes.”

So, they knew about the timelines. They must’ve known that Aira would be the next victim based on how much he was targeted and tried so hard to help him, but to no avail. Hiiro was the final nail on the coffin. 

Aira sniffled, wiping the remains of the tears from his cheeks when his phone vibrated. Rinne noticed Aira hesitating for a millisecond, before reaching for his phone in his pocket. 

“... They’re asking me to come to the office for my birthday.” Aira relayed. He looked to be in no state for a birthday party. Rinne only need five seconds and half a brain cell to formulate a plan, and smirk mischievously.

“Wanna ditch?” Rinne asked, his voice already laced with playfulness like an older brother bringing his younger sibling into his shenanigans. Aira widened his eyes, but he was extremely intrigued by Rinne’s suggestion.

“Go where?” Aira asked, his voice just as playful. Rinne just grinned, before taking off to the stairs, Aira being quick to follow. 

Their laughter echoed in the empty hallways. 

What quickly followed was a loud explosion, so loud the ground beneath them shook. Immediately after, the fire alarm rang. 

“W-What the?! What happened?!” Aira asked, confusion but panic in his voice. Rinne looked out the window, and was baffled to see fire quickly overtaking the inside of what looked to be a science lab? Hard to tell, but Rinne immediately had a bad feeling about this. 

The two ran down and out the building they were in, finding a group of students and teachers outside trying to direct everyone to safety. In the chaos, Rinne spotted Hiiro still clad in his karate robe.

“Hiiro!” Rinne called loudly. He noticed Aira tensing at the sight of Hiiro, but the younger Amagi quickly noticed them. He separated from Tetora to be with RInne and Aira, a worried look on his face. 

“Nii-san, and Aira! You’re both still here?”

“Yea- what’s happening?” Rinne looked back up at the building. The fire had broke through the window, its glass remains laid on the first floor. Shit, where was the firemen?!

“I don’t know- the science lab suddenly had an explosion. We were nearby and we evacuated other people as much as we can but we aren’t sure if everyone is-”

Hiiro’s voice was cut off by a shrill scream. Looking over, Anzu was being pulled back by Hokuto and Subaru, with Jin in front of her as she struggled to break free from their hold. “No- NO! HE'S STILL INSIDE!” She screamed with all her might.

The bad feeling grew deeper, and Rinne felt Aira grab his hand.

Jin looked at a loss of what to do as Anzu continued to scream to let her go. 

Rinne recognized the faint sirens of the firemen coming.

But there was another explosion, and everyone gasped when the second floor of the building caved in, flaming further. 

Anzu screamed, piercing to the ears. 

The wind howled with her. 

One second Rinne was with Aira and Hiiro, horrified.

The next, his stomach flipped.

Blinking, Rinne found himself in the practice room with the rest of Crazy:B, their training outfits on and seemingly in the middle of practice. 

Once he was able to control his body, he suddenly found himself collapsing on his knees, bones trembling. A glimpse to the side and he noticed HiMERU looking disoriented though still standing, while Kohaku was knelt on one knee, hand pressed on the ground, looking at Rinne with wide eyes. 

The music- Risky Venus- stopped playing then, and the three of them turned to see Niki who was holding up his phone that was playing music. 

"I know it's April Fools' Day but we have a Live in two weeks! We don't have time to mess around." Niki pouted. 

The remaining three looked back at each other, a silent question seen on their faces, but HiMERU confirming their suspicions with a nod.

There was another timeloop.