Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You had only been with the Winchesters for about a week now, but that was more than enough time to figure out that Dean cared more about his Impala than most human beings. Or Angels for that matter.

He spoke to the classic car as if “she” were in fact a living being, able to understand the kind loving words he spoke to her daily. It was actually pretty adorable.

And admirable.

You wished you had something in your life to care about that much. . . but as it was everything you owned and everyone you cared about was burnt to ashes in a horrible house fire, courtesy of a rogue Demon who had it out for you for whatever reason.

Sam and Dean had graciously (and surprisingly) offered to take you in at least until they could track down the black eyed son of a bitch and kill it twice for good measure. Secretly you hoped they might let you stay with them longer.

Being only 15 meant that you would be sucked into the government system, a place that no one wants to be, and then barfed up five years later into a trailer park and minimum wage job.

Also a place no one wants to be.

Sam Winchester knew of your concerns, he listened to you rant, scream, mumble, and sob out all of your feelings patiently and intently. He cared about you for whatever reason, and that made all of this just a tiny bit easier.

And that tiny bit mattered.

You confided in the youngest Winchester from day one, and he seemed happy to be the one you’d attached yourself to. Hell, he even suffered through a whole half season of the Mindy Project until you fell into a fitful sleep snuggled up tightly to him on the couch. 

You thought he secretly might enjoy watching the quirky awkward Indian woman in the show.

Dean vowed to never let him live it down.

Dean.

There was a man who was tough as nails to crack into. He had the most impenetrable emotional wall you’d ever come across in your entire life, and you were simply no match for it.

It felt like he hated you.

“He’ll warm up, I promise.” Sam had assured you, but no matter how much you tried to win him over with cuteness, pies, or compliments he just wouldn’t give you the time of day. Not even a fucking smile.

It hurt more than you would admit. . . The eldest brother seemed like he would be a really great friend, he was cool, funny, attractive, and an all around badass. Plus he saved your life! That should be a fast pass to Bestie Land right there right?

Maybe he didn’t want another friend. . . Or maybe it was because you were so young, he was only interested in women he could get freaky with.

That would suck. Either way, he was the only thing standing in your way of a foster home and a potentially real home.

That is until you royally fucked up on the 20 hour drive back to the Bunker.

It was midnight on a Saturday. . .

“Hey can we stop at the next gas station? I really have to pee,” you chimed up politely with your usual bubbly personality. You didn’t miss how Sam immediately smiled at the sound of your voice, the reaction you normally got from people, whereas Dean clenched his hand on the wheel as if your voice grated his nerves.

Your face fell a little,

“Or - or we can just keep going, I guess I don’t really have to go that bad.” you quickly corrected, trying to backtrack to what might please the hardened Hunter the most.

“So which is it?” he grumbled harshly, flicking his narrowed green eyes to the rear view,

“I - I um. .” your face reddened like it always did when you became flustered,

“Dean.” Sam chastised his brother with his trademark bitchface, he turned and gave you that soft smile that always calmed you down,

“We’ll stop in a couple miles, no problem. Sometimes Dean forgets that normal people aren’t used to sitting in a car for nine hours at a time.” he directed that last part somewhat passive aggressively toward the driver’s seat.

You kneaded the worn leather seat in your hands feeling uncomfortable with the tension.

“Thanks Sam.” you whispered subdued by Dean’s attitude.

It wasn’t that he was outright mean to you ever, he was just cold and indifferent toward your existence. You couldn’t help but wonder why, and you pondered just how much longer you could take it.

You had enough to deal with already. Always an ounce away from cracking. . . your brain reminded you cooly. Just an ounce.

You found yourself blinking furiously in the backseat to hold back bitter tears, of course Sam noticed, always the observant one.

You were grateful when he pulled out his phone instead of putting you on blast openly,

You okay? you had your phone out before he even sent it,

Yeah, just a weak moment is all. It’ll pass. Oh btw your brother fucking hates me. You hit send and waited for his phone to buzz. He snorted at the last part.

You’re not weak         . You’re 15 years old, it’s okay to cry every once and a while, especially with all you’ve gone through lately. And he doesn’t hate you, he just takes a while to warm up!!

You almost laughed aloud at the double exclaim, but held it off. Sam had told you the same thing about Dean a million times now, he was probably getting tired of it.

I’ll keep trying I guess. But these hands can only make so many pies dammit! Thanks Sam. Love ya. You always said love you to people, throwing the term around to your most trusted confidants was kind of your thang, and while it caught Sam off guard the first time, he seemed to get used to the memento pretty quickly.

You watched his face light up and felt it warm your belly while he typed his reply and shoved his phone back into his jacket,

Back at ya. A little smile of your own graced your lips. He never really said it back, but you figured that was just the nature of the Winchesters. You hadn’t heard either one of them say “I love you” one time to each other yet, but once you did hear Dean say to Sam “I need you”, and that seemed close enough.

Dean caught your eye in the mirror once again while you were putting your phone away, and gave a huff with a slight shake of his head before focusing back on the road.

Great job dumbass he thinks you’re talking shit. Way to win points. You wanted to bang your head on the back of the bench seat.

About twenty minutes of blaring classic rock tinged with tension later, Dean pulled into a run down looking gas station. It looked like someone might be living in the restroom on the side of the building.

With a sigh and a groan you pulled yourself out of the car, not even wasting a second to stretch before taking off in a stiff sprint to the restroom across the dimly lit gas station pavement.

Sam was chuckling behind you as you ran, calling to your back something about grabbing water and snacks, but you payed him no mind while you focused in on getting to that freaking pisser.

Exactly thirty blissful seconds of urinating later, you were opening the thin grimy door to reveal none other than Dean freaking Winchester staring down at you with a displeased expression on his face, barely illuminated in the dark night by the light above the door.

“Oh sorry I didn’t realize you had to go to, I - I would have let you go first cause you're the driver and all -”

“Save it, I pissed behind the building already.” he interrupted your idiotic babbling, “Let me see your phone.” you took a little step back into the shady restroom,

“What?” Oh no this isn’t good.

“You heard me. The drama engine, give it here.” his tone brooked no argument, but classic you gave one anyway.

“Why?” his teeth grinded a little, like he didn’t expect you to protest,

“So I can make sure you’re not downloading porn,” he quipped sarcastically, “why the Hell do you think princess?” Timidly, you dug the thing out of your back pocket and swallowed,

“What if I told you no?” you dared to question him, knowing that if he saw the messages between you and Sam he might get pissed,

“Then I’ll fucking take it from you.” he threatened lowly with an intimidating step forward into the dark bathroom.

Since he stepped up on the lip of the concrete with you he became even taller, and his insane height difference smothered your confidence just like it usually did, it felt like he had cast a shadow over you.

With a defeated gaze, you held the incriminating device out to him, but just as he was about to take it you heard Sam’s nervous voice call out in the night,

“Dean?        ? Where are you guys?” Dean’s hand dropped back to his side, but he didn’t take his intense stare from your eyes,

“Over here!” he called without breaking eye contact, there was something in his gaze that made you feel like you just swallowed a frog.

It shut you up to say the least.

“What are you both doing in the bathroom?” he sounded put off and it almost made you laugh,

“She needed me to kill a spider.” he lied smoothly, “It’s all good now, right Sweetheart?” his full lips were pressed into a line, and it took you a moment to remember how to English,

“Ye - Yep, yeah,” you squeaked, “it was a pretty mean one.” the flash in his eye told you he’d caught the double meaning in your words, and he smirked a little.

“Load up, I’m grabbin’ coffee,” he paused, “and whiskey.” After he’d turned to leave you practically sprinted to the relative safety of the Impala’s backseat, passed a bewildered Sam, and one concerned looking Hispanic man.

You dove into the roomy backseat and buried your face in your duffel, breathing in the comforting scent of your home and your old life, the one that you longed for so much.

“Okay girl,” you whispered to the empty car, “be strong, be strong. . . I can get through this. I will survive, the world will keep spinning, I’m gonna be okay. I’m gonna be okay. . .” Your repeated the mantra over and over, until your only concern was getting comfortable for the remaining 10 hour car ride.

Without much thought you yanked your duffel bag a little closer to you, failing to notice the unsheathed knife that had punctured through the bottom of your bag. The ripping sound of leather pretty much stopped your heart.

Oh God no. No. No. NO!

Glancing up through the window, you could see Sam approaching in the distance with his grocery bag in hand. Dean looked to be in the store still.

With dread pooling in your gut, you flipped your bag over to assess the damage done and all but burst into tears right on the spot.

Dean was gonna fucking kill you.

You didn’t even need a flashlight to see the seat on the right side where your duffel sat now had at least a 12 inch gash across the faded leather, exposing the foam stuffing, and killing your hopes that Dean would ever grow to like you.

You maimed his Baby, the backseat of his fucking pride and joy was sliced open at your hands.

Acting fast, you dug through your bag and grabbed the murder weapon to stuff in your pocket where it could do no more damage to the car, and covered the gaping gash back over with your bag.

Then you hopped out of the backseat and ran frantically up to Sam’s silhouette in the darkness.

“Whoa whoa, what’s up          ?” he continued his long strides to the Impala with a smile on his face, and you had to almost jog to keep up with him.

“Sam -” only when he noticed you were almost in tears did he stop beside the back window and face you, concern wrinkling his brow. You glanced at the store to make sure Dean was still inside,

“Sam I messed up. Oh God, oh God!” you started pacing frantically in front of the tall man,

“Hey        , hey what’s wrong?” he grabbed your shoulders gently and turned you to face him, bending down so he wasn’t towering over you so drastically. You looked up at him with panic in your heart,

“I don’t want to die!” you blurted, edging toward borderline hysteria, “He’s gonna - oh fuck Sam he’s gonna kill me! I don’t want to die!” you were definitely panicking now, and Sam looked like he was trying really hard to understand,

“Who’s gonna kill you? What happened?” he scanned the gas station premises, no doubt expecting a demon or something lurking in the night,

“Dean’s gonna kill me,” you tried for some shaky deep breaths, “the car Sam. It’s the car.” Sam’s face went lax with seriousness,

“         , what did you do?” the tone of his voice terrified you, now you knew for sure this meant the end of you if Dean found out. You struggled to fight back tears, as you slowly opened the back door, turned on your flashlight and moved your bag so Sam could see the cut up seat in all of it’s glory.

You heard him take in a sharp breath over your shoulder and closed your eyes,

“Oh fuck.” Sam rarely ever cursed like that and it made you flinch, “How the Hell did that happen?” you grudgingly pulled out the little knife from your pocket and handed it back to Sam without even looking at him, it almost fell out of your hand because you were actually trembling now.

It clicked when he flicked it open and he sighed,

“Spring action. . Unreliable and glitchy. It just flicked open in your bag didn’t it?” a choppy intake of breath racked your chest,

“What do I do?” you whispered and turned to him, Sam gave a shrug and a humorless laugh,

“Flee the Country?” his face softened when he saw you pale, “Hey. We’ll hide it until we can figure out how to fix it.”

“How are we going to fix it!” you practically screamed,

“Fix what?” Dean’s deep gravelly voice sounding behind Sam made you feel like you needed to pee again, and Sam’s eyes went wide. You reached behind you and adjusted your bag so the tear was hidden again, only then did Sam move out of the way.

He lied as easily as Dean did back in the bathroom,

“Oh her little knife here, the thing pops open and slams closed when you put any pressure on it.” Dean squinted at it,

“Ah. Lemme see.” Sam handed it over and Dean immediately flung it into the tall grass by the car without even looking at it.

“Hey!” you shouted, but Dean was smiling.

“Spring loaded. Peice of shit, we’ll get you a better one that is actually reliable.” Oh. Well that was nicer than he’s ever been I guess.

“Oh. Okay then.” you said meekly,

“Load up.” he tossed you a candy bar that you didn’t ask for and you wondered if it was some sort of a peace offering. Fat lot of good that’ll do when he finds out I mangled his ride.

The thought made you tear up a little but you battled the weakness and rounded the Impala with him to your side. Maybe Sam and I can fix this mess, before he even notices.

As if the youngest Winchester was reading your mind, your phone chimed with a message notification, Dean glanced back before collapsing into the driver’s seat.

Play it cool. That was all he gave you, plus a slick nod of his head when you glanced up at him. You felt like crying. You curled up in the backseat, wishing you could fall asleep to escape your wrecked nerves.

Maybe I should just tell him. . . No no fuck that, I don’t even know what I would say. Hey, I know you already hate me but I gouged a foot long tear in the backseat of your pride and joy. Let’s play a game called how much do you want to kill me now??

You’d been on the road for about an hour before Dean fiddled with the radio until it landed on a soft rock station that usually lulled you and Sam right to sleep. Not tonight though.

You were wide awake.

Sam on the other hand was snoring in about five minutes in the middle of Lou Gramm telling everyone that he’s been waiting for a girl like you to come into his life quietly through the speakers.

The lack of light and the visibility of the stars told you that you were on some deserted highway far off from any major cities,

“Are we in Kansas yet?” you broke the silence from your spot across the backseat. Dean cleared his throat roughly before answering,

“Sure are Dorothy,” he ground out with a smirk, “we got an hour or so to go I’d say.”

“Okay,” you murmured quietly, wondering how the Hell you would hide the mutilated back seat in the light of the Bunker’s garage. Dean surprised you by speaking again,

“You okay back there?” he glanced back at you, “You don’t gotta piss again do you?” maybe you should have pretended to giggle, but you didn’t.

“Nope. Not like you would stop anyway.” that got his attention,

“Seriously what’s up kid? You’re usually asleep by now.” you saw him trying to twist around to look at your face,

“I’m not a kid, and I said I was fine.” okay you really needed to quit while you were behind.

“Actually you didn’t say you were fine, but whatever.” Dean grumbled at the windshield, “and you’re a kid until you’re 21 in my opinion.” You wanted to sass him back some more, but thought better of it seeing as he was gonna be mad enough in an hours time anyway.

After another half an hour you decided to text Sam for comfort, even though he was asleep. You figured his phone would wake him up anyway, you weren’t accustomed to how heavily Sam slept when in the presence of his big brother yet.

He could sleep through a fucking nuclear war if he knew Dean was watching over him.

Do you think we can like sew the seat or something? Or would he notice that too. . .? You hit send and thought about it for a moment, before sending another message.

Is there a way to stitch it back together so closely it looks like new? Maybe I can keep my bag over it forever. Help, I’m freaking out back here.

You hit send, and flinched at how loud Sam’s phone chimed twice in a row. When Dean glanced over to his still sleeping brother, you knew you’d fucked up. Again.

“You textin’ Sammy kiddo?” his voice held hints of menace. Even though it was too dark to see it, you could feel his gaze on you in the rearview.

“I uh - no?” you lied dumbly, wondering if you could justify vaulting to the front seat and grabbing Sam’s phone,

“No?” Dean asked with a knowing tent to his deep voice, “Then who’s texting him at this hour? Probably something important, I better check.”

“No!” you yelled, sitting upright so fast you got a head rush. “No don’t! Haven’t you ever heard of privacy, it could be a personal message.” You could almost hear Dean’s condescending smile,

“Personal? You know Sam hasn’t had a booty call since we figured every woman he fucks dies one way or another.” you swallowed at the bluntness in that sentence, and felt your eyes tear up as Dean snagged the cell phone from his brother’s pocket.

He started out reading the message aloud,

“Do you think we can. . . stitch the seat or something,” the car was slowing down as he finished out the horribly descriptive text silently.

The sudden slamming of the brakes alerted you that he had gotten to the end, and his now wild eyes landed on your duffel bag, as Sam groaned and blinked himself into consciousness,

“Fuck no! Fuck. No.” You were outright frightened at the look in his eye, it was a man crazed by impending rage.

“Dean -” you whimpered, “Dean please calm down, I’m so sorry!” as if that confirmed his suspicions, the Impala was suddenly jerked to the side of the road and jolted into a complete stop.

“Jesus Christ Dean!” Sam complained, as his older brother threw the car into park. Dean was off like a shot, stomping around the car to the right side door where your duffel lie, and you watched with wide nervous eyes.

Would he actually hurt me? He wouldn’t right? I don't know him that well. . . and he looks so mad right now. . .

Regardless of whether or not Dean would really attack you, the possibility was still there and that was enough for you to be out of the car on the opposite side, putting the entire Impala between you.

The Hunter completely threw your duffel out into the ditch and rest his gaze on the ugly tear in the seat. It was eerily quiet on the deserted highway.

Dean took in the damage for almost a full minute before Sam slowly opened his creaky door and stepped out of the car,

“Dean?” he muttered. Dean straightened up and you could finally see his face for the first time since he saw the rip. What you saw chilled you to the bone. He wore a calm mask, but beneath the surface there was fury coursing through his eyes, his jaw was set hard as he ground his teeth.

With no warning other than the sudden turn, Dean hauled back and cracked his fist into Sam’s face, then turned his cold gaze on you as Sam stumbled into the side of the car,

“How the FUCK did this happen!” his sudden roar startled you into a run. It was stupid because you had absolutely nowhere to go, but your instincts ignored that fact. “Where the fuck do you think you're going?!”

You screamed at the hate in his voice, and started sobbing when you heard heavy footfalls after you. You only made it about 10 yards from the Impala when steel arms wrapped around you and yanked you back into a solid chest.

Immediately you struggled, flailing about and screaming thinking it was Dean who’d caught you,

“Hey        calm down!” that was Sam, he recovered ridiculously fast from that hit. You instantly stopped flailing, but he didn’t release you right away.

He swiftly spun around with you trapped in his unrelenting grip, and you made eye contact with an extremely pissed off Dean Winchester only about fifteen feet away from you now.

“No Sam don’t let him come near me!” you wailed recalling the way he decked Sam a second ago, and tried fruitlessly to twist out of his bear hug,

“Sam let go of me!” Dean advanced, studying the tears pouring down your cheeks with darkened green eyes, he looked downright sinister in the darkness.

“Hey relax!” Sam chastised again and then spoke more calmly to his brother, “Dean she didn’t mean to alright? It was an accident.” Dean didn’t bother answering Sam, only spoke directly to you, boring those blood freezing eyes into yours,

“Nobody messes with baby, you hear me? Nobody.” Ten feet. Six feet. Four feet. You started thrashing in Sam’s hold, bawling and kicking out at the oldest Winchester as he got closer, the panic burning your insides was making you desperate for escape.

Little squeaks and whimpers jumped from your lips at your efforts, you didn't know Dean well enough to believe you were truly safe, especially in this scenario.

“Dean c’mon, you’re scaring her. We’ll fix your car, just go easy alright?” Sam reasoned gently, you had a feeling both brothers had some experience in talking each other down before. 

“She should be fucking scared.” he growled causing you to practically scream in a fit of fear,

“Don’t hurt me! I’m sorry Dean please!” the plea seemed to echo over the grassy fields in the deserted night, and you felt Sam's muscles tighten at your desperate words. 

Finally Sam let you go, but it was so sudden that you had no time to get your bearings, and you crumpled to the ground at his feet like a lifeless rag doll.

Three feet. You pushed back into Sam’s legs as Dean neared, hiccuping and sniveling miserably.

Two feet. Turning your face into Sam’s leg, you actually reached out and clung to his jeans, burying your face in them and watching Dean’s work boots near through blurry vision.

One foot. You were sobbing hysterically, and you knew that you must look pathetic clinging to Sam’s leg and hiding your face from the big bad Winchester, but there was no way you were getting a handle on your tears now.

His knees came into view as he squatted in front of you, the simple action prompting you to speak,

“Dean I’m so sorry, I - I didn’t mean to!” you wept, drawing in choppy breaths, “I know you hate me already, I did -didn’t want to t -tell you. . .” Sam stood unmoving, his confidence that this brother wouldn’t cross any lines did nothing for your worries so when Dean’s hand suddenly appeared up near your face you freaked out,

“No, no don’t hurt me! Please don’t Dean -” you tried wedging yourself between Sam’s legs to get away from him, “I’m sorry - please, I’m sorry! SA-SAM!” you wailed pleadingly.

You got stuck halfway between the tall man’s knees, laying sideways on the ground crying like a six year old. It was then and there that you realized Dean might be the scariest man you’d ever met, or would ever meet for that matter.

“He won't hurt you        ,” Sam’s voice was calm and soothing, and you twisted a little to peek from behind his leg. Dean was watching you cower away from him with something other than rage.

He still looked pissed as Hell but he also looked a little guilty,

“You really think I would do somethin’ to you kid?” he asked in a much more relaxed voice than you expected,

“I don’t know. . .” that was code for yes, and Dean seemed to understand that. He nodded and rose to his feet, now towering over you along with Sam,

“Everyone in the Impala we’re sorting this out at the Bunker.” he sighed and turned away from your balled up trembling form, tangled around Sam’s knees.

With many kind words and much gentle coaxing Sam was able to get you loaded into the backseat of the Impala, then on a whim he plopped down beside you looking a little funny with his long legs crammed in as they were.

Like you did often, you buried your face in his side and clung to his flannel, he wrapped both arms around you in a tight side hug for comfort. About five minutes into the death drive you dared to speak,

“Dean I’m so sorry, I swear I’ll fix it. . .” your voice was wrecked from yelling and crying. There was silence, Dean’s lack of response did nothing to sooth your worries, and Sam rubbed a huge hand up and down your arm tenderly.

Your tears were no longer out of fear really, now you cried for a different reason entirely.

There was no hope whatsoever of yours and Dean’s relationship blossoming now. He hated you more than he ever had and something told you that this kind of hate would last a long time, a lot longer than it would take to kill the demon that murdered your family.

The foster care system was inevitably in your future now, you had just dug your own grave essentially. So you cried for a lost chance at a home, the destruction of your remaining childhood, the loss of what it felt like to be loved, and the evisceration of two relationships that might have done you well.

You needed a constant like Dean who would protect you from the evil world you’d discovered a week ago, who would teach you about guns and cars and let you drink a beer before you turned 21.

You needed a rock like Sam, a shoulder to cry on . . .and scream on, someone who would make you eat healthy and study for tests. Someone who would care about your future and your opinions whether he agreed with them or not.

But alas, that wasn’t what was in store for you.

Now you would get a caseworker who was all kind smiles and hugs while you spoke to her once a week, pity from the people who would have adopted you if you were 10 years younger, and no one to help you out of that dark place that would swallow you whole when you thought of your loving family.

Loneliness. That’s what you could look forward to.

Sam’s shirt was ruined by the time Dean pulled into the bright garage at the Bunker, and you didn’t see an end to your tears in the immediate future. Sam slid out first and reached back in to take you with him while you tried to dry your tears and stand up straight to show some self respect.

“Hey,” Dean surprised you by being around the car already and you looked up at him through swollen eyelids, the older man swallowed hard and averted his eyes like he was embarrassed to see you so distraught.

Sam stepped back causing you to whirl around at his absence,

“I’m gonna go start dinner, I think you two need to talk.” Dean was staring at him with a look of betrayal almost as potent as yours while he headed to the kitchen.

“He better not make a bunch of that damned rabbit food again, I’d rather go hungry.” Dean snickered at his own joke, giving you an awkward sideways glance when you stayed silent.

“Um listen,” he started, rubbing his hands on his jeans like he just wanted to take off running. “I didn’t mean to scare you so bad earlier. . . I was just pissed. I’m still pissed, but I’m beggin' you to stop crying sweetheart.” he looked so earnest, with his brows knitted together and a pleading look in his greens.

You almost laughed at the irony that this rugged monster Hunter was so easily intimidated by a crying teenager, but you couldn’t.

“You think that’s why I’m crying? Because you scared me?” you asked in a voice thick with disbelieve. His eyes focused on your shoulder for a split second, and his body seemed to actually bounce with his efforts to think of another reason for your tears,

“Ye - Yeah,” it sounded oddly like “duh” but you let it go, “I mean you looked pretty freaked out back there on the road.” you nodded and decided to get right to it,

“Why do you hate me so much?” he only stared at you, like he couldn’t imagine what you meant, “I mean before all of this, from the beginning. Why do you hate me?” your tender eyes stung with wetness.

Voicing your concerns was nerve wracking, but it had to be done. He scrubbed a big hand over his stubble and sighed a huge breath,

“I don’t. . . I don’t hate you kid, I just -” he paused searching for words and shook his head, “Goddammit.” you swallowed a lump of emotion in your throat and spoke in a high whisper,

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll be gone within a week right?” you gave a short, slightly hysterical laugh, “I mean it shouldn’t take you longer to kill that demon, and then I’ll be someone else’s problem, so don’t feel like you need to explain yourself to me!”

You angrily wiped the tears on your cheek and spun to storm out of the garage, but Dean’s hand wrapped almost completely around your arm and jerked you to a halt. You cried out,

“Ow! Let -”

“You’re leaving?” he was so in your face that any more protest died on your lips, his eyes were full of pain so vivid that it stole the breath from your lungs,

“I know when I’m not wanted. . .” your voice was hoarse, you were surprised at his behavior. He released your arm with a sigh and leaned back heavily on the car with his eyes closed,

“Everyone always leaves. . .” he murmured quietly, the sorrow in his deep voice squeezed your heart.

“Wh - what?” you whispered and hedged a little closer to him. The big man opened his eyes and looked down at you,

“I told Sam he was an idiot for letting himself get so close to you, you would leave us - or die - just like everyone always has.” he smirked dryly, “That’s what happens when we get close to someone. Every damn time.” you didn’t even know how to respond to that.

Everything he was saying was coming at you from left field and to be honest it sort of made you angry,

“What the Hell are you talking about Dean!” you exploded suddenly earning a raised brow from the older man, “You haven’t even tried to get close to me, you’ve been an asshole since the day I got here!”

His eyes narrowed a little, but you had to continue, had to get this out.

“I - I tried everything! Baked you pies, laughed at your stupid jokes, researched classic cars and rock and roll so we would have shit to talk about, and you still shut me out!”

He might have smirked a little at the research admission, but you couldn’t even be embarrassed right now.

“And now I’ve maimed your car and. . . and you hate me even more. Any hope I’d had of staying with you has been trashed with one malfunction of a shitty knife, all my attempts to get close to you ruined. So yeah maybe Sam shouldn’t have gotten close to me, but it’s not because I didn’t ever want to stay, it’s because you always wanted me to leave! I hope you're happy now, you’re dream is coming true.”

There were torrents of tears streaming down your face out of pent up frustration, bitterness, and sorrow. You watched the salty water hit the concrete floor, unable to even look at Dean after your teenage tantrum.

The last thing you expected was to be pulled roughly into Dean’s chest and firmly squeezed by his strong arms, but that’s exactly what happened.

You stiffened in surprise at first, but managed to relax into his plaid flannel that smelled of his spicy cologne.

When his chin came to rest on the top of your head, you closed your eyes at the feeling. These guys really know how to give a quality hug if one thing is for sure. Just like all those times Sam hugged you, it felt like safety and compassion was flowing into you in the cover of Dean’s arms.

Unable to hug him back with your arms trapped against your chest, you nuzzled your head into him so he got the message as well.

“You leaving isn’t a dream for me         .” he finally spoke and you felt his words rumble deeply in his chest,

“I just thought it was reality, unavoidable reality. . . I didn’t want to let myself get too attached to you, see you as a little sister and then watch you walk out of our fucked up lives. And that’s exactly what was going to happen to me, no matter how much I fought it you were winning me over, out to break my heart, and it pissed me off okay? I wanted to hate you for it.”

You blinked at his confession, this was the most Dean had ever spoken to you in the two weeks you’d lived with him, and he had a Hell of a lot of feelings.

It surprised you.

“I don’t want to leave Dean, I’ve wanted to stay from the beginning. I love Sam and it feels like I need you both to have any hope for a stable life again, you’re my chance at a new beginning and I thought I’d completely blown it.”

A low laugh vibrated your cheek from his diaphragm,

“Oh you can still plan on catchin’ Hell for knifin’ my baby, but I never wanted you to go anywhere.” he sighed, “I’m sorry for acting like a dick.” you pulled back slightly to look at his face,

“So I can stay?” hope blossomed inside, and Dean grinned down at you,

“Until you get sick of us sweetheart.” you squealed and bounced up and down in his arms. Before releasing you he bent down and pecked you on the forehead with a quick kiss, that made you gaze up at him in mute shock.

He shrugged sheepishly,

“Don’t tell anyone I did that.”

“God forbid the monsters find out The Great Dean Winchester is a closet sweetheart, right?” you giggled at the reddening of his cheeks,

“Can it. Let’s go see what Sammy’s got cookin’” he gripped your shoulder and gave it a shake and a squeeze as he moved past you to the big wooden doors. Heavy footsteps pounding down the hallway on the other side gave you both pause, and Sam busted through the double doors almost frantically,

“Cas can heal the Impala!” he exclaimed with a huge smile and you almost jumped for joy, “So can we keep her?” he asked pinning Dean with a knowing grin,

“The girl or the car Sam?” Dean asked flatly receiving a huff and a bitchface from his brother, he cracked after a few seconds with a soft smile. “Yeah Sam we can keep her.”

“I would have made her stay anyway.” Sam notified you with a wink.

You were absolutely beaming with happiness knowing that this was the start to a new chapter of your life, and you would be spending it was Sam and Dean for as long as they could stand you.

Who knew stabbing the Impala could be one of the best things that could’ve ever happened to you?

“I love you guys.” you murmured and hopped up to peck Dean on his rough stubbled cheek, before bounding over to Sam and doing the same, he however had to bend down so you could actually make it up to his face.

Then you took off down the hall to decorate your room, now that you knew you were staying for good.

You were too far down the hall to hear Dean gruffly mumble to Sam,

“I don’t think I’m ever gonna get used to the way she throws that word around, though.” Sam smiled fondly after you,

“Oh believe me Dean, you will.

Chapter Text

It was a Sunday afternoon. . .

A knock echoed on the door, and you turned from your bed with an excited smile to see Sam peeking around into your room.

“All decorated!” you exclaimed happily, practically bouncing over to him energetically. He chuckled, enveloping you into a hug without hesitation while he scanned your room with those big brown eyes.

Likely picking up every detail like he was trained to do for his whole life.

“Huh.” he muttered furrowing his brow a little bit,

“What’s wrong?” you pulled back, suddenly feeling insecure, “You don’t like it?”

He released you, moving over to your bed, studying the few frame-less pictures of your family taped to your otherwise bare wall beside your bed. The only other thing in the room that was different was your diary on the nightstand, your favorite blankly you’d had since birth, and your now-empty duffel bag peeking out from under the bed.

The few clothes you had were in the tall dresser.

“No - I mean of course I like it          , but is this really all you have?” he pinned you with a pitying look that almost had you bursting into tears on the spot, but you held it together like a champ.

“Yeah, but it’s all I really need.” your fake smile stayed in place as you gestured to everything,

“My old diary to read whenever I feel homesick, my favorite blanky that st -still smells like home,” oh shit keep it together, “um my clothes, and of course. . my beautiful parents.”

That one hurt. And by the looks of it, it hurt Sam too, but you waved him off as if to say “I’m fine, but please don’t ask, because then I will be not fine” and thankfully he understood.

It was all that you had left from the fire that took everything - including you normal comfy life - away from you about a week ago.

“Come on          , I know you need more stuff. Believe me, this place didn’t really start to feel like home to me until I actually put together my room.” he was nodding at you imploringly, and you swallowed hard.

Historically it had been difficult for you to ask anybody for anything, and you’d only known the Winchesters for like a week. . However Sam actually seemed like the most trustworthy man you’d ever known.

Besides you father of course. But he was gone.

“I - I guess it would be nice to have some new sheets. . . Like ones that don’t scream “military base”. And. . . Maybe some shower stuff so I don’t smell like Old Spice every time I take a shower - ooh! - and I could even get conditioner, and a razor to shave my legs -”

You cut yourself off before you got too excited and looked up at the giant man, who was actually grinning at your babbling,

“Sorry, you really don’t have to get anything for me. I could probably get a job somewhere -”

“No way.” he interrupted you, “Dean and I get all of our money illegally anyway, credit card fraud isn’t hard and there’s no reason you shouldn’t benefit from it too.” you laughed out loud at how stern he wasn’t being.

It didn’t match up with his words,

“Jeez Sam that seems a little warped to me, don’tcha think?” you teased, poking him in the tummy,

“Yeah well, all you have to worry about here is getting through high school.” he grinned, patting you on the shoulder, “Nothing else.”

“High school?” you whined loudly, but secretly you loved it. This was what you wanted from Sam, a big giant puppy, who was also a stern hand when it came to responsibilities.

You wanted normality.

“Aw don’t worry kiddo,” Dean’s rough voice sounded in the hallway just before he came around to lean up against the door frame, “You could probably convince Sammy here to do your homework, just bribe him with kale smoothies and Tuscan salads.”

He threw a fist out to tag Sam on the shoulder,

“He was a Stanford boy, ain’t that right?” you looked up to Sam wide-eyed,

“Really?” wow Stanford. . .?

“Yeah,” Sam seemed bashful all of a sudden, “it was dull compared to what I do know.” you watched him and Dean share a look that was so knowing and fond you felt like you were intruding.

And also like your heart was melting.

This is why they never have to say the “love” word, these moments right here.

Suddenly Dean shook it off and let his green eyes travel the long 10 inches down from Sam’s face to yours.

“What am I hearin’ about needing more stuff?” he scratched his scruffy cheek absently,

“Nothing.” it was a quick nervous answer,

“Not nothing,” Sam practically groaned, “she needs to go on a supply run, why don’t you take her? It’d be good for you.” you paled and looked up at Sam,

“Both of you.” he quickly added when he saw your face.

Last night after the maimed Impala incident, you and Dean made groundbreaking progress in regards to your strained relationship.

He confessed a load of feelings to you that opened your eyes as to why the gruff Hunter was treating you so poorly since they rescued you, and it felt like he and Sam could be the big brothers you’d always wanted.

They claimed that role pretty naturally. But truthfully your bond was still fusing, and you didn’t want to fuck that up for anything. So being around him still made you anxious,

“Yeah totally, I got this one.” he clapped his hands together startling you out of your thoughts, “I got lunch ready, let’s eat and then hit the road.” you nodded with a forced smile before he walked away, leaving you with Sam.

You immediately backhanded him in the arm,

“Ow!” he jumped at the sting, but still had a huge smile on his face, “What gives?”

“Can’t you both take me? I don’t want him to start hating me again.” you whisper-yelled up at him,

“Nope, you two are gonna love each other even if it kills you both.” he brooked no argument and began to walk to the kitchen, “Besides I have some things to take care of around here!” he called over his shoulder,

“Damn him.” you grumbled quietly.

 About two hours later you found yourself walking shoulder to head with Dean through an aisle in Walmart of all places.

“You sure you can find everything you need here?” he asked, looking around uncertainly at the shower supplies crowding the shelves.

“Hey Walmart is way underrated,” you squinted your eyes searching for a razor, “I’ll be more than happy with this stuff.”

“Whatever you say. . .” he picked up a more expensive razor, the one that you really wanted and moved to toss it into the cart. You panicked and stopped him,

“No I’ll just get these,” you quickly grabbed one of those cheap bags of disposable razors from a hook and tossed it in, “who needs a vibrating razor anyway?”

Me. I love them. Dean cleared his throat and lingered in the aisle as you hurried away,

“Do you need shaving cream or anything?” he called,

“Nope!” you heard him sigh and listened for his work boots on the linoleum floor, feeling relieved when they came thumping after you after a moment.

The trend continued where you would see an item that you normally used, but instead of getting it, you would go for the cheapest thing on the shelf.

It might have been childish and unnecessary, but the fact of the matter was that you didn’t want to offend Dean or put him out, for fear he would think of you as a burden.

He could still kick you out on your ass if you became too much to handle..

After all he was accustomed to buying whatever product he walked by for him and Sam without a care; it says shampoo, it’s shampoo. And that’s good enough for him. It was just more expensive to be a girl.

You jumped over one aisle into home decor, instantly cringing at the high prices on basically everything. Dean was quiet while you browsed and that made you more uneasy.

Is he freaking out about how expensive everything is? Does he think it’s stupid that I want to hang things on my wall?

A pretty puffy comforter and sheet set caught your eye, and you stopped in front of it only to have Dean tell you sternly,

“You don’t need those, we have plenty of bedding at the Bunker.” your heart sank a little, that was what you wanted most out of this trip, but you weren’t about to argue. He was paying after all.

You feigned nonchalance and breached the first aisle that held all kinds of pretty canvas wall art, and gorgeous clocks, only to have a really tall man with familiar flowing brown locks catch your eye.

Dean almost bumped into you as you studied the guy from behind. . .

“Is that. . .” suddenly Dean shoved you roughly, causing you to let out a startled cry and basically fall into the next aisle. You caught your balance and looked up to him with wild - admittedly frightened - (e/c) eyes.

“Why -”

“Well we don’t have all fucking day,” his change in attitude made your throat catch a little and you thought there was a hint of guilt in his eyes, “I’m not standing around while you check out long haired hippies, so hurry up and get what you need.”

You nodded frantically, trying to ignore the pooling wetness in your eyes and scrambled for the cart under his scrutiny.

You yelped loudly when Dean’s fingers wrapped around your upper arm as you tried to hastily pass him,

“I’m sorry Dean, it j -just looked a lot like Sam. . .I'll be quick," you whispered shrilly, flinching away a little without looking at him. If you would have, you might have seen that his eyes contained nothing but pure concern for you - but you didn’t - so you just thought he was getting aggressively angry like he did sometimes.

So of course you just kept your head down.

The cart bumped gently into one of the aisle walls, and you practically ran at it when he released you without a word. While you walked, with him trailing behind, allowed your body to switch on autopilot while thoughts consumed you.

I’m pretty fucking sure that was Sam. . . Who else is six foot a million, and can pull of long hair. Besides NFL players obviously. Okay hurry up so Dean doesn’t get mad. . . Skip the picture frames too. That’ll be good.

“You know. . I kind of like the way my pictures look in that little collage I made - I don’t think I need a picture frame.” your voice was so full of fake cheer that it even pissed you off.

Dean was looking at a really cool five foot tall asian-syle floor lamp when the sound snapped him out of it. There was a moment when all you did was look at each other, his narrowed eyes silently calling your bluff,

“MmmmHmmm. . .” he hummed, looking like he wanted to say more. In order to avoid that you quickly walked by Dean, trying not to moan with want when your eye caught a beautiful wooden jewelry box that seemed to be screaming your name.

Dean was getting close to calling you out, you could feel it.

As you continued shopping the man in question seemed to be getting increasingly suspicious at your choices, making comments here and there that had you squirming and spewing out some terrible see-through lie. “I use this all the time!” “It’s really not so bad. .” “The bottle is pretty.”

But as soon as you walked down the feminine care aisle it all went to Hell.

Dean still seemed totally at ease, which honestly surprised you a little bit, but you guessed he was more mature than the teenage boys you’d seen gagging about this stuff.

You stared at the wall of tampons and pads, reaching for the package of Always pads on impulse but froze when you read the price.

$10.55?? You could’ve sworn that you’d bought these same exact ones for like three bucks once. . but that was in Oregon. You were in Kansas.

Swallowing thickly you scanned the shelf for something cheaper, Dean watching you silently from behind. Feeling his eyes, you tried to keep a calm exterior. As silly as it was you were unsure about straying from this brand, after all your mother swore by it. . .

And you would take whatever wisdom from her that you could through your life.

A price caught your eye. $4.50. On sale.

When you looked to see the product your face paled. Tampons. Your arch nemesis. Being only fifteen, you were still embarrassingly timid about the little cotton sticks, telling yourself you’d get around to using them like everyone else someday.

Girls have to deal with the strangest kinds of peer pressure.

Trying to seem normal you retrieved the box and turned it around to read the back like it would have some magic message just for you. “Hey there’s nothing to worry about kid! You even get a lollipop every time you stick one in!” but of course there was nothing like that, just impersonal professional throwup.  

Dean sighed heavily behind you,

“You alright kiddo?” that deep rough voice was thick with supposition, so you worked to keep the quake out of your voice,

“Yeah, yeah I’m good.” it sounded oddly like a squeak, and it prompted you to start babbling while pretending to read the box,

“I - um - I’ve just been telling myself I’m gonna start using these someday, so I figured I might as well start now! I mean everything else in my life is changing - and look - they’re on sale!” your voice was way too cheery, it was almost creepy and you winced, afraid to turn around to look at Dean.

Fuck. I blew it.

The box was suddenly pulled from your hands and tossed back up onto the shelf, and you looked up to Dean - face red - feeling more flustered than you’d ever felt in your life.

He leaned forward and braced himself on the cart’s hand grip, caging you between his arms, essentially trapping you between him and the rolling contraption. You were practically bending backward at his closeness, but he seemed unperturbed.

“What are you doing here, kid?” He asked flatly. You swallowed, feeling like you might cry for some reason, and averted your eyes from his intense ones, settling for looking eye level at his chest.

“What - what do you mean? I’m just t -trying to be efficient. . .”   

“Don’t give me that shit            ,” he shifted a little on his feet, and you looked up at him expecting anger where there was only concern,

“You don’t really want to use those plungers do you.” you couldn’t help but flinch at the descriptiveness of that sentence. It wasn’t really a question - more of a statement - but you answered anyway,

“N -no.” God you felt like such a stupid kid under his gaze. Why do I let such little things make me panic?

“Didn’t think so,” he finally backed off and snagged the package of pads you reached for initially, he held them up and raised a questioning eyebrow, to which you nodded in muted shock, before tossing them in the cart.

“Outta the way,” his nudge made you stumble a little, and he grabbed the cart, flipping it around and going back the way you came,

“Follow me princess!” he called with a hand wave, causing nosey shoppers to glance over. He was on a mission and you had to almost jog to keep up with his long legs.

Dean literally traced backward over your path through the store, swapping out your crappy cheap things with the better ones you might’ve asked your mom for. Once you tried to argue about a huge $30 picture frame, but he silenced you with a borderline hostile look that brooked no argument.

Dean even snagged the floor lamp and the jewelry box he must have seen you drooling over. Damn he was observant.

Soon the cart was piled with everything a girl could want, including two huge canvas frames, with quotes painted on them. You picked out one that read

“If life was easy, where would all the adventures be?” and Dean chose one that said simply, “Always Keep Fighting.” in big bold letters with a little sketch of a tea light beneath it.

It was totally something you could see him saying,

“The tealight makes it girly, don’t worry about it.” he assured you, obviously not taking no for an answer. This guy is a fucking roller coaster ride, I can’t tell what he wants. . .

Thankfully said roller coaster ride, respectfully left you alone to look at bras and underwear, his phone rang as he walked off.

“Hey Sammy. . .”

There was a whole hanging wall of viable options, and you mentally picked out the ones that you really wanted. . .  but as it was in the end you settled for a standard package of cotton underwear and a crappy sports bra, setting them in the front basket up by the handle bar.

The Hunt for Dean didn’t take long, his deep voice could be heard on the phone around the corner, you paused to listen like the little eavesdropper you were.

“I don’t know!” he sounded agitated, “Just get the fucking bear.” you furrowed your brow in confusion. “Yeah alright, just hurry up.” sensing it was the end of the call, you desperately tried to maneuver your cart in the narrow path only to have Dean’s heavy hand come down on the front of it and terminate your retreat.

His big frame seemed to cast a shadow as you looked up at him with wide sorry doe eyes. He looked pissed.

“You better not have been listening,” he growled down at you. Swallowing thickly you shook your head,

“N -no. Nope - I mean I just got here.” will there ever be a day when Dean doesn’t intimidate me so badly? I hope so. But today is not that day.

The big man abruptly moved past the cart, closing the distance to you so quickly that you were hedged into one of the free standing panty walls. An audile gulp bobbed your throat, and he leaned down to be level with your eyes,

“What did you hear sweetheart?” he was menacing,

“Nothing,” you lied, finding it hard to draw in oxygen. His hand came up near your face and you flinched horribly, shaking the whole aisle, and giving him pause for a moment.

Then he merely brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear, making you feel like a fool.

“You gotta stop being so afraid of me all the time baby girl,” he straightened back up to his full height,

“Then you gotta stop being so scary all the time Dean,” you shot back before you could chicken out. He raised an eyebrow and actually cracked a smile,

“It’s natural kid, it comes with the job.” yeah you supposed that was accurate,

“Well it becomes a problem when I think your gonna kick my ass, and all you’re trying to do is get hair out of my face!” you finally let loose everything you’d been holding in,

“And why’d you practically push me down earlier? You can’t treat me so rough Dean!” he was still grinning, that son of a bitch,

“Sorr -”

“I’m not another six something dude okay? I’m fragile compared to you guys, and - and fuck you for trying to intimidate me whenever you feel like it!” he actually barked a laugh at your vehement cursing, which just made you more angry.

“Ugh!” you reached up and shoved him by the shoulders, stomping your foot in a borderline tantrum when he didn’t even budge.

Are these guys made of fucking stone or something?!?

Dean was absolutely doubled over in laughter at this point, and you waited with your arms crossed for his fit to die down until he was wiping his eyes and blinking at you.

“I’m - I’m sorry alright?” he was still chuckling a little with a blinding smile on, “It’s not funny, it’s not.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell.” you muttered grumpily, earning another round of breathless laughter from the overgrown man child,

“Oh come on, it’s way too easy to freak you out sister - I mean all I have to do is look at you like this,” his face became completely serious and you fidgeted around despite yourself, “See? It takes nothing!”

When he saw your face fall a little, he took pity.

“Alright, how about we make a deal.” you nodded warily,

“I’ll try to stop being so. . .-”

“Dickish.” you finished for him when he struggled,

“Fine. And you at least try not to be so sensitive. Deal?” you started moving back to the abandoned cart,

“Deal,” you said quietly, but before you could get away from his probing stare he grabbed your wrist lightly, turning you back to him.

“Hey, I really am sorry           . Not just about right now, but how I treated you when you first came with us. . . I know it’s probably the biggest factor in your lack of trust now. But I will never hurt you.” he looked so earnest, and he absolutely nailed it. You were speechless.

“Not on purpose anyway - don’t go cryin to Sam if you get some bruises during a wrestling match.”

“Dean!” you giggled “You’re such a dork.” but the look on his face told you he wasn’t done with his speech,

“If you’ll give me time, I promise I’ll be the best big brother you could ever have. Ask Sammy.” he added that last part with a little quirk of his lips. Brother.  

“I believe you Dean.” you told him honestly with a little smile of your own. “Thank you.” he shoved your arm away playfully and smacked his lips,

“Alright enough with the chick flick moment,” he put on his rugged mask and moved back to the cart with you, only to raise his eyebrows in mock horror,

“What the Hell are those?” of course he was referring to your packaged underwear, “No no no, sweetheart. This doesn’t fly. Are you sixty years old?” he grabbed the package only to uncover the sports bra.

“You gotta be kidding me kid.” he picked it up delicately, “No. Just - just no.” your face was flaming,

“I don’t want to break the bank Dean, it’s fine! I’ll deal.” but he was already hanging them back up,

“I think I’ve made it pretty clear that you can buy whatever the fuck you want. Now,” he spread his arms wide, indicating all of the undergarment choices, “pick what you really want. Not what your grandma wants.”

 So you did.

In the end you had three well fitting bras, and an abundance of underwear fit for your age, when all of a sudden your eyes hit some red lacy boy shorts. Absently you reached for them,

“No.” Dean swatted your hand away and immediately steered you out of the aisle, straight toward the checkout line,

“Oh come on Dean, you said whatever I wanted!” you were grinning though,

“You don’t want that,” he insisted, “not until you’re twenty.”

 ****  

The total ended up being over $300, and Dean wouldn’t hear a single apology from you, no matter how hard you tried to sneak one in on the way to the Bunker.

“I’m just happy you have what you need now,” he said it for what seemed like the hundredth time as he rose up out of the car, only to have you crash into him in a hard hug.

He gave a little ‘oooff’ at the impact, but wrapped you up tenderly,

“Thank you Dean,” it was muffled into his flannel, “you’re the best.” his chuckle rumbled your cheek,

“Oh sweetheart I think you spoke too soon, wait till you see what Sammy’s got for you.” you pulled back to give him a questioning look before untangling and sprinting down the hall.

You flew around the corner into your room and shrieked with joy,

“SAM! I love you so much!” your bed had been made with new sheets, and a beautiful plush comforter that gave the room some much needed color. There are even matching pillow cases!

You wasted no time in bounding to the bed and hurling yourself onto it, snuggling into the fluffy blanket, when a stuffed bear caught your eye.

“We weren’t sure if girls your age still liked teddy bears, but I gave it a shot.” Sam was in the doorway smiling widely at your excited reaction. You plucked the little stuffed bear from the mess of pillows, it had a big red heart on it’s tummy,

“Aw. . .” you drawled, “he’s so cute!” Dean rounded the corner chuckling as soon as you hugged it to your chest. “It was you in the store wasn’t it!?” you demanded,

“She saw me?” he asked Dean,

“Yeah, I had to distract her before she recognized you.” he shrugged noncommittally,

“How’d you pull that one off?” before Dean could answer you supplied one,

“By manhandling me into the next aisle and barking orders, you know typical stuff.” Dean actually winked at you, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets and leaning against the door,

“Ingenious if you ask me,” he muttered,

“So you like the blankets?” Sam asked almost anxiously, “The color and everything, cause if not we can return them for different ones -”

“Sam, no I love them.” you jumped off the bed and ran to him with your arms out, teddy bear in hand, and he squeezed you tight against him like he was afraid you were going to disappear.

“You guys are amazing,” you muttered with your eyes closed blissfully,

“I love you. Seriously. So much.” Instead of saying the word back, Sam rumbled in answer, but you knew that’s what he meant. The Winchesters just didn’t know how to use that word yet, and that was fine. . . give it time.

You’d have to desensitize them first.

“You too babe,” Dean agreed, and you smiled before something hit you.

“Is this what you were talking on the phone about?” you shook the bear, while still tangled up in Sam’s arms. Dean narrowed his eyes,

“So you were listening!” you were practically asking for it when you stuck your tongue out, so when Dean advanced you broke out of Sam’s grip with a high pitched giggling shriek and took off through the door and down the hall.

You could hear Sam’s laughter fade as you pushed yourself down the stone corridor, but Dean’s heavy footfalls pounding close behind made you glance back frantically,

“Shit!” you squealed upon seeing the giant bombing down the hallway after you, at a much quicker pace than you anticipated. His legs were just so much longer than yours.

Dean timed the capture perfectly and seized you around the waist just as you made it by the couch. You were thrown over the back of it, and followed to the cushions by your ruthless assailant.

“Dean!” you batted at him, laughing hysterically while he pinned your arms above your head with one hand, and sat heavily on your legs. You couldn’t move.

“Come on!” you whined, squirming uselessly, “Please?” he laughed in your face and you knew then and there, that there was no mercy to be had.

He brought his free hand down to your tummy and wiggled his fingers threateningly, just before digging them into the sensitive skin there and just going to town.

“Ahh! Dean st- stop!” you scream laughed, struggling mindlessly to get away from the ruthless tickle assault.

“Oh no, you’re not getting off that easy sweetheart!” he chuckled, never halting his ministrations, “I’m not stopping until you either piss yourself, or get away.” Oh God pissing yourself was becoming more and more likely,

“SAM!” you cried breathlessly, “SAM HELP!” no amount of thrashing was helping, and Dean just kept on tickling,

“De -Dean please!” it didn’t take all that much to reduce you to begging after all, “Please! I - I’m gonna pee on the couch!”

“You better not kid!” he warned, attacking your armpits and sides,

“AHH!” your high pitched laughter was echoing off of the stone walls, “N - nooooo! Dean!” tears streamed down your face at that point from laughing so hard and finally, finally, Dean stopped the torture,

“What did we learn today baby girl?” he grinned down at your sweaty face,

“That you’re a humongous bully.” you retorted boldly. However instead of resuming the tickle punishment, Dean leaned down and planted a kiss to your forehead,

“You got that right kiddo.”

“But that you and Sam are gonna be a good family for me. And I’m lucky to have you both.”

Sam’s head bobbed up over the couch just in time to hear that, and instead of either of them brushing it off of deflecting it with a joke, Dean pulled you up by the waist to hug you in earnest - basically dragging you into his lap and nuzzling his cheek on the top of your head like you were a stuffed animal.

Another body pressed up against your back and Sam’s long arms came around both you and Dean, to sandwich you between them, his head came to rest on your shoulder.

“Thanks for today.” they both hummed, practically vibrating you from both sides. The position you were in was literally the epitome of safety, and your eyelids sagged at the comfort and their warmth.

All three of you could’ve fallen asleep like that it seemed, but your stomach had other plans. The loud rumble made both brothers chuckle,

“Guess I better start dinner then,” Sam sighed lightly,

“Guess I better unpack the car and decorate my room.” you slurred sleepily,

“Guess I better pour a glass of whiskey and sit on my ass for a while.”

Chapter Text

You woke up sobbing.

Absolutely choking on tears at the vivid visions your traitorous mind conjured up in your sleep. . . This one was about your mom. She was standing in the yard waving to you with a kind smile on her face - it was a memory from when you were a child.

A happy one at that, and for a moment in your dreamscape you were content with watch her smile at you. Then it all went to Hell. Her face started to sink into itself, forming into a frightening scowl as her skin rotted and peeled like worn down paint.

“Mom!” you screamed desperately trying to reach out to her, only to watch her decay until her bones shone through her festering muscle tissue, “No, no. . .” you were sobbing in the dream as you watched her rot. The woman who raised you, loved you unconditionally for fifteen years of your life.

You weren’t ready to say goodbye yet, there was still so much you didn’t know. You curled in under the blankets, trying to calm down so as not to wake the Winchesters, even though you knew full well they’d wake up at the drop of a pin.

On cue your door slammed open against the wall, the men in question holding raised guns cocked and at the ready, only to find you in a heap of tears under the comforter Sam bought you, clutching your teddy bear for dear life.

“Shit,          .” you heard Dean mutter, and then movement just before you were uncovered to see both men staring at you with worry laced in their features.

“My - my momma. . .” you sobbed miserably, “she w -was there smiling at me and - and then she was rotting! I couldn’t -”

“Hey, hey shh kiddo it’s alright.” Dean had his arms around you instantly, squeezing the sorrow straight from your soul. Sam sat heavily on the bed,

“How long have you been having nightmares?” he asked after a moment of listening to you try to control yourself,

“F -for three nights so far. . .” you wept into Dean’s armpit, “I didn’t want to wake you guys up. . . I’m sorry I woke you up. . .” Sam put his hand on your knee, kneading and squeezing comfortingly while Dean held you close. Only after your crying diminished into only quiet snivels and little hiccups did Sam ask,

“Do you want to sleep with one of us?” there was a moment of true confusion on your part and Dean chuckled, obviously realizing what that must’ve sounded like.

“Not like that you pervert.” he kissed the top of your head while you turned absolutely beet red, “It might help you sleep, to have someone there next to you kiddo.” you nodded, blinking away some relentless tears.

“O -okay,” you whispered, untangling yourself from Dean, “Can I sleep with you Sam?” an instant smile cracked across his face, and he looked over you right at Dean,

“You hear that?” he taunted, “She chose me over you!” you turned to see Dean looking a little hurt before he masked it with indifference,

“Thanks a lot kid, have fun sleeping with gigantor I’m sure there’s just enough room on the edge of the bed for you.” you giggled shamelessly, and took Sam’s hand as he stood from the bed.

“What are talking about? You’re both giants Dean.” he just grinned and followed you both out. And that’s how it started. Almost every night you went seeking refuge in one of the brothers rooms, until you didn’t even try to sleep alone anymore.

Sam and Dean would argue about who got to have you each night, doing rock paper scissors and sometimes even yelling, until finally you took control and simply rotated nights. It was funny really, how the two rugged men were really just big softies at heart.

They loved cuddling so much that it was next to impossible to dislodge yourself in order to go to the bathroom, but you weren’t complaining seeing as they managed to chase your nightmares away most of the time.

And when they couldn’t they were right there to pull you out of a bad dream and talk the sadness away, it was beautiful really.

****

It was on a Wednesday night - a Sam night - and he had both strong arms securely around you, just tight enough to where you could feel him there as you fell asleep. It was just as reassuring as the first night, when he’d murmured sweet things to you while you quietly cried yourself to sleep, often with Sam there was a lot of ‘pillow talk’ for lack of a better term.

Dean not so much - while he would talk occasionally, he was mostly interested in listening, cuddling the shit out of you, and sleeping. The guy was bad at feelings to be honest. Sam though, was just as good of listener as he was a storyteller.

That’s how he recounted memories to you, almost in a campfire story fashion and it always lulled you into a happy slumber as well as uncovered more secrets about the brothers themselves. Sam told of his father, and with every cell in your body you wanted to hate John, but couldn’t find it in you.

The man was broken with the death of his love, he couldn’t see anything past the pain and for once you could understand that, even though you wished you couldn’t.

Of course you’d never tell Sam of your theories, he might be offended, after all you weren’t the one who had to live in shitty motels for your whole childhood.

Once, late at night you tried to bring John up to Dean, and you made a mental note to never do it again. . . let’s just say he didn’t respond well and might have said something like “I don’t wanna hear you say his name ever again.” so you wouldn’t. It was clearly a sore topic.

The youngest brother though, would tell you anything you wanted to know, he seemed to be able to think in facts instead of emotion when it mattered and could put his strong feelings aside to open up to you.

Dean was harder to crack and you were simply too afraid to try.

This particular night with Sam however, you found out just why they were both so understanding of your nightmares. There wasn’t a worry in the world for you with the protective Hunter to your back and a stone wall to your front, but as soon as you began to drift off, Sam’s comfort took a bad turn.

His light snoring was actually lulling you into unconsciousness when his hard muscular arms began to constrict around you. You felt it, but at first had no problem ignoring it, thinking he was simply about to shift around in his sleep like he did sometimes.

But he wasn’t.

Soon you were wide awake, dangerously close to being squeezed to the point of asphyxia and you vied for squirming out of his grip, which only resulted in him moving one arm down from your chest to you hips and squeezing harder. He had you trapped.

“Ah, Sam!” you gasped airily, beginning to panic when you couldn’t make your voice loud enough to wake him. Now panting and struggling in earnest, you kicked back, knocking a heel into his shin with enough force to make your foot tingle.

A long rumbling growl resonated from his chest, seeming to vibrate your entire being down to the bones. Jesus he’s not gonna wake up. . .

“Sam!” it was a squeak. It felt like your ribs were cracking, and your hip bone was about to puncture through your skin. Drawing in air was becoming impossible and could only be done in wispy quaking pulls.

“Urmph,” he grunted, twisting slightly and digging his big fingers into your skin where he held, “No. . . No!” that last one was a borderline yell, and you hoped maybe it would snap him out of it, but once again your prayers were unanswered. The man dreamt on.

By then you had stopped moving because it had become clear that he would only tighten up on you whenever you did.

“Stop, not - NO!” he boomed, drawing a whimper from your trembling lips. You were frightened now, in pain and unable to move away from the cause of it. All you could do was hope his nightmare didn’t get any more violent. But why would anything ever go your way? Oh God please let him wake up. . .

“Sam - Sam!” you panted, writhing and twisting around with a new burst of energy. The big man basically wrestled you in his sleep, rolling halfway on top of you in a painful bear hug that you wanted no part of.

“Get out!” he roared just above your head, the severe height difference glaring in this position, you were completely smothered by him. Just when you were wondering if Sam “safezone” Winchester was about to crush your bones, he did something that made your situation impossibly worse.

He rolled completely on top of you, pinning you down with his weight and trailing his huge hands toward your neck, all while growling and grunting through his nightmare.

“No, no, no. . . No! Sam! Sam please wake up - please!” it was insane that with all of your squirming and wailing, he wasn’t waking up. It must have been a captivating nightmare. . . Now it was turning into a nightmare for you as well. Sam’s eyes were open - as if the situation wasn’t eerie enough - it looked as though he was wide awake, but you knew better.

They were wide and glassy, he wasn’t seeing you. . . he was in his own personal Hell, which unfortunately spelled bad news for you.

“Shut up. . .” he growled into your cheek just as his fingers brushed over your throat, “I’ll fucking kill you. . . No more. No more.” finally dislodging your arms from beneath him, you were able to grab at his hands and push uselessly on his chest.

Idly you wondered who he was dreaming about, who’s place you were about to die in, but in the end your focus was on getting out from under the Hunter and to safety.

“Wake up!” you squealed when you felt his thumbs center on your windpipe, “No Sam stop!” you thrashed, even landing a slap at his face, but those hands only began to tighten on your throat. “S -Saaam. . .” oh fuck you couldn’t breathe.

With adrenaline and a miracle on your side, you were able to slide a knee up with enough force to solidly hit him in the groin, making him grunt and release you. With a whooshing gasp, you wiggled frantically for the edge of the bed, leaving your lower half behind as you made to dive to the stone floor and run for safety.

Of course “dream Sam” wasn’t having that. His elbow connected with your lower back and you let out a scream at the shock of pain, thinking in a moment of disorientation that you had been paralyzed, but of course your body was only in shock for a few seconds.

You were crying in earnest now, knowing that Sam could easily kill you even in his sleep, and even just from that one blow you were pretty much done.

“Sam. . .” you wept with the wind knocked out of you, still feebly attempting to crawl off of the bed. He drug you back beneath him, his glazed eyes a little frightening in the darkness, “Sam please wake up! It’s me, it’s          . You’re hurting me!”

Out of nowhere the man leaned down in your face and let out an insanely masculine scream, a roar really, as he squeezed the tops of your arms with pressure that made you see white spots at the pain. The yell subdued you to a puddle of terrified girl beneath him, choking on her tears and unable to form a complete intelligible sentence to save her life.

All you could think to do was bring up your hands to weakly cover your eyes as you sobbed softly - as if you didn't already feel pathetic enough. Sam was breathing heavily, but the room was still like it too was waiting to see what he would do to you, hopefully nothing violent. It wasn't looking good though.

Suddenly the door slammed open, hitting the wall hard enough to shake it, but Sam’s attention stayed fixed on you. Looking to the door and trying to squint through your tears, you actually sobbed with relief to see Dean rubbing the sleep from his eyes in the doorway,

“Ah come on man, she’s not even legal. . . What the Hell?” he grumbled, “I thought someone was dyin’ in here, what -”

“Dean!” you screamed and he came to attention at the sound, “Oh thank God Dean, he’s - he’s trying to kill me! Please help me!” you were still sobbing, and now the eldest Winchester knew exactly why,

“Shit,” he stopped into the room and gripped Sam hard on the shoulder, pulling him off of you and shouting, “Get out from under him, what the Hell are you waitin’ for?” and you did.

You hit the floor like a pillowcase full of jello, and all but rolled away to the wall furthest from what almost marked your final resting place. Fuck, your back hurt. . . And your throat as well. You could feel bruises blooming on your upper arms where he squeezed, and your hips were pulsing with a dull achy pain as well.

Jesus, dreaming Winchesters are lethal. Speaking of, Dean was yelling at the man in question quite loudly at the moment,

“Sam! Sammy wake up, it ain’t real! Come on wake up dammit!” he finally just shoved him clean off of the bed, and you scrambled away to ball up in a corner to stay out of arm's length.

When Dean rounded the bed to crouch next to a fitful Sam, something strange happened. Dean grabbed his little brothers left hand and placed his thumbs directly in the middle of Sam’s palm, to which Sam winced in his sleep. What the. .

“Yeah you feel that Sammy?” Dean’s rough voice was pained, “That’s real, I’m real. Wake up!” he squeezed hard, gritting his teeth at the effort, and Sam yelled in utter agony, “That’s real!” you were still crying, this strange scene making you even less comfortable with the situation, and the sight of Sam in pain made your heart constrict.

“Dean?” that was Sam, the real Sam. . . He’s awake.

“Yeah Sammy, I’m here. . . you had a nightmare.” again your heart throbbed, but it was because here it wasn’t hard to picture Dean as the big brother. The one who took care of little Sammy whenever he had a bad dream or a dark thought. . . and the way Sam was looking at him only solidified that vision, like he was the strongest thing in the world, like Dean would protect him.

And to see a grown man look that vulnerable. . well if you don’t cry when you see that then you don’t have a soul.

“Dean it was. . .” he gulped and took his hand back slowly from his brother examining it like he’d grown a sixth finger, “The cut was there. . How did you know to do that?” Dean shrugged and tried to smile but only looked worried,

“Lucky guess, I mean it worked before. . You alright?” Sam was nodding slowly still looking like he was in a bit of a trance,

“Lucifer. . . The cage -”

“It was just a dream Sam, only a nightmare.” Dean sat back on his heels and scrubbed a hand over his tired face, while absently keeping the other on Sam's hand, “Everything’s alright now. . .” you had been totally forgotten but there was no way you were gonna speak up and ruin this prime bro moment right here.

It was so precious and tender that you had almost forgotten you were a human bruise.

“Jesus,” Sam mumbled, “they never get easier do they?” Dean gave a melancholy chuckle,

“Preachin’ to the choir,” he threw out a hand to pat Sam’s shoulder, before heaving himself up off of the floor and extending a hand to Sam. Only when they were both standing did Dean’s eyes lock on you in the shadowy corner with a look of slight surprise like he’d forgotten you were there. On cue Sam said,

“Thanks for waking me - wait -” he glanced at the empty mattress, “Where’s          ?” you found your voice, your scratchy raw voice,

“Over here. . .” you swallowed and Sam spun to see you curled up in the corner. You gave a little wave, “Hey.”

“          ,” he breathed fretfully, getting to you in two oversized steps and crouching. His big worried eyes roved your battered body nervously, “I didn’t. . I didn’t hurt you did I?” you glanced at Dean wondering if you should lie, but he looked just as nervous and honestly. . you were actually in a pretty significant amount of pain.

Still you tried to minimize it a little for him,

“Well, let’s just say you came down from the top rope. .” he furrowed his brow, “with an elbow aimed at my back.” you tried for a carefree chuckle but it came out a little hysterical, and at his horrified look your eyes misted over with tears. So you just dropped the act,

“Um, also you tried to choke me out s-so my throat hurts a little when I b-breathe. My ribs too, I think they might be bruised, you’re really strong so congrats on that dude. Seriously.” Dean scoffed at that, but looked like he wanted to hug you and Sam looked borderline destroyed,

“Jesus        , I’m sorry. I didn’t think - with you there usually aren’t any nightmares. I didn’t think -”

“Don’t worry about it,” you waved a hand, “all I ask is you get me some ice and painkillers. Please.” you added the please in hopes that they would get to you sooner rather than later, and Sam nodded reaching to help you up and wincing every time you couldn’t help but whimper a little in pain.

Dean was already headed for the kitchen while Sam helped you slowly along with a hand around your hip like he was afraid you might fall or something.

“Sam really, it’s okay.” you stressed, “It could’ve been so much worse, I’m gonna be fine.” he didn’t answer, but it was clear that he was beating himself up in his head. Once you finally made it to the kitchen, Dean already had icy/hot and ace bandages out on the counter,

“Ugh,” you drug your feet ready to whine, “I don’t wanna do all this, can I please just have some water and ibuprofen and go to bed?”

“No, it’ll be more comfortable to sleep with your ribs wrapped, and I’m putting this shit on your back. I don’t wanna hear it sister.” he shook the tub of offensively minty blue paste at you, and you practically sulked,

“That’s the last time I call you for help when I’m being murdered.” Sam groaned and Dean shot you a sharp look, “What? Too soon?” you shrugged meekly, “Sorry Sam. .” as an answer he suddenly hoisted you up and set you gently on the counter with ease even when you flailed a bit.

Dean ignored the theatrics as well and spoke with authority per usual,

“Lay on your stomach, I’m putting this shit on first.” you looked at him and pushed your lower lip out. His eyes narrowed, he was already annoyed.

“But Deeeaaan,” you swung your legs back and forth over like a little kid, “it’s gonna make my blankets smell minty. . .!”

“On your stomach           ,” he spoke through his teeth and you grinned, “don’t make me ask again.” Dean Winchester doesn’t respond well to whining then. Noted. You started to do what he asked only to pause and sit back up,

“On one condition,” his shoulders dropped in irritation, and you knew you were walking a thin line with the sleepy Hunter.

“This should be good,” he glanced at Sam, “whaddaya want kid?” you giggled at your request,

“Say tummy.” he stared at you blankly.

“What.” you burst into childish laughter at his fed up look,

“I said, say tummy Dean.” then you threw his line back in his face, “Don’t make me ask again.” he huffed a loud sigh, and looked at Sam who was also trying to hide a smile.

“Alright,” he huffed, “I’ll humor you. Lay down on your. . . tummy, so I can put on this fucking icy/hot.” you burst out laughing at the childish word rolling off of his tongue.

“What do you say Dean?” Sam barked a laugh and turned away for a second. Dean was glaring daggers at you,

“Please.” he growled lowly, and you gave him a sleepy salute,

“Yes, sir!” you winced as you moved, speaking to distract yourself from the pain, “That wasn’t so hard was it? To say please? You should be nice like that more often, you might make more friends.”

“I don’t need anymore friends, I’m bad for people's health.” he grumbled while he brushed your shirt up gently. The man hissed loudly once he uncovered your lower back. Oh shit that’s not a good sign. You tried to sit back up in a panic, only to be pressed firmly back down to the cold counter top,

“What’s the problem back there?” you squeaked, doing a pathetic job at hiding your worry. Truthfully it hurt a lot, so if it looked as bad as it felt. . .

“Nothing, no problem sweetheart,” Dean lied almost perfectly, “Just keep breathin’ deep for me, can ya do that?” you swallowed and nodded, drawing in a deep breath and bracing for contact. Just before his fingers touched, Dean’s other hand closed around your shoulder, and it was then that you knew for sure this was gonna hurt.

“Mmm!” you groaned through your pressed lips when all you wanted to do was yell at him to stop. He did however pause for a moment with his fingers still lightly on your back, you could already feel the thick paste start to cool where it had spattered and it felt too good to ask him to stop. 

“It’s okay.” it was said through your teeth, and as soon as he began to rub you had to squeeze your eyes closed, gasping occasionally when he accidentally rubbed to hard or hit a more tender spot.

“I have a feeling it’s gonna look even more colorful tomorrow,” Dean was simply speaking to distract you, what a gentleman. “We’ll have to do this again - it’s a fairly deep bruise sweetheart.” like you couldn’t already feel that.

You swore you could feel it aching all the way down to your uterus for crying out loud, it was especially painful on your spine. . . it was a miracle Sam hadn’t broken it you realized. The cause of your pain walked into view, and headed toward the pantry; you watched him rummage around in there while Dean continued his methodical assault.

“Are you almost done?” pain was clear in your thick voice,

“Almost kid, you’re doing real good. . . Had no idea you were so tough.” despite it all you glowed at Dean’s gentle praise, being called tough by Dean Winchester of all people felt good. He was the meanest, toughest son of a bitch in the valley after all. Yeah, I’ll take it.

Carrying a bottle of white vinegar and a rag, Sam popped the cap, wet the rag with the offensive smelling stuff, and thunked the bottle on the counter beside your head.

“What are you doing?” you asked a little warily, jumping with a little yip when Dean dug in too hard,

“Sorry.”

“The vinegar will fade the bruise on your neck,” Sam seemed torn up, his brow was furrowed like it did when he was either thinking too hard, or feeling guilty about something. Your money was on both reasons now,

“Wouldn’t want anyone to think we’re beating you, right?” Dean - as always - managed to make an inappropriate joke, and you groaned on Sam’s behalf,

“God Dean,” he was chuckling shamelessly, and you actually cracked a smile when he became defensive,

“Oh shut up it’s funny dammit.” then purposefully pressed roughly on the edge of your bruise,

“Ow!” you yelped, coming off of the table with a violent jerk,

“Yeah. Bet you laugh at my joke next time huh?” he went back to gently massaging, ignoring a muttered,

“Asshole.” from you. Sam brushed your hair out of the way and took up dabbing lightly at your neck, the bruises there were shallower so it didn’t hurt at all really. “Is it shaped like your fingers, like they do it in the movies? That’d be cool.” Dean snorted, globbing more icy/hot on your lower back.

“None of this is cool          ,” Sam grumbled sourly, glancing at your eyes only centimeters from him.

“I know,” you whispered, “it’s okay Sam.”

“It’s not.”

“It is,” you insisted, “honestly the two of you fixing me up right now, when you should be sleeping is pennants enough. And I’m willing to bet if I had hulk strength, some of my nightmares would have gotten violent too.” Dean piped up,

“Yeah just the other night she tagged me in the face so. . I’d say we're all on team PTSD here.” you giggled at that memory but Sam just shook his head.

“I could’ve killed you.” he looked right into your eyes when he said that, halting his vinegar dabbing for a moment. You gulped,

“No you couldn’t have,” he cocked his head quizzically, “Dean would’ve never slept through that.” and it was true, he wouldn’t have, but again Sam only shook his head and resumed his task. Dean pressed a little more firmly on your giant bruise, now using his entire hand to rub the blue in,

“Ahh. . .” you breathed, stiffening up,

“Shh, relax. .” he cooed, “It’s almost over sweetheart.” you focused on making your muscles go limp, wondering how something could hurt and feel good at the same time like that. Sam tossed the vinegar rag in the sink,

“Looks way better, they lightened up nice.” Dean’s hand left you and is tired face came into view as he examined your neck,

“Yeah, I’d say it’ll be gone in two days tops.” then he winked and disappeared again, “Go ahead and sit up kiddo.” Sam was instantly at your side easing you up to face Dean who was picking at the edge of an ace bandage,

“Great. . .” you groaned, feeling Sam massage your shoulder reassuringly,

“Lose the shirt,” he gestured and you balked a little,

“Can you just wrap it on the outside of my shirt?” you asked hopefully, immediately receiving a look that called you stupid with no words at all.

“Just whip it off I’ll be done in a minute, you don’t have anything we haven’t seen before.” while that was a valid point, you still couldn’t let him see the bra you were wearing. You’d snuck it in the cart on the shopping trip, and it was one that he definitely wouldn’t approve of.

“I don’t want to. . .” you crossed your arms and swung your legs a little, looking like a pouty toddler. Dean huffed and held his arms out in exasperation looking at Sam,

“Why? What’s the big deal?” Sam asked kindly, leaning down a little for you,

“I just don’t want you guys to see me,” it wasn’t totally a lie, but it didn’t really make sense since they’d both seen you traipse around in your underwear before. The only difference was that now you were wearing a red lace bra, and that made it feel awkward. . . plus Dean would scold you no doubt.

“Well that’d be a first.” Dean grumbled, “Now’s kind of a bad time to become Ms. Modesty all of a sudden.” you just glared. He leveled you with an impatient look, trading the bandage between hands, and wet his lips hotly, “Look, we all want to go back to bed alright? Just let me do this and I’ll make you pancakes in the morning, deal?”

Since you loved Dean’s cooking and it was clear his patience was wearing thin, you decided to just be honest,

“You’re not gonna like what I’m wearing underneath, so you have to promise not to get mad.” he was guarded,

“I’m already mad.” Sam snorted at that,

“Please Dean? I’ve had enough tonight. . .” at that he softened and even looked a little guilty,

“Alright sweetheart, I won’t yell. As long as you got somethin’ on under there we’re golden - arms up.” with a pained breath you did as he asked, and Sam took up the hem of your shirt and pulled it quickly over your head. At the smirk on Dean’s face your cheeks turned as red as the bra, Sam even cleared his throat uncomfortably,

“Nice,” he quipped, grinning like an idiot, and moved in with the bandage partly unraveled.

“You’re not. . . mad?” you eyed him warily while he took in the bruises on your ribs, and he chuckled, as did Sam. Now you were really confused.

“You really think I didn’t see you “sneak” that into the cart?” he was still chuckling and shaking his head slightly, but he patted his shoulder, “Hands up here.” you braced your hands on either of his shoulders, wincing at the movement. How idiotic to think he hadn’t seen me. . the guy probably doesn’t miss a damn thing anymore.

His arms went over your head to wrap the bandage around your back first, and you hissed at the pressure on your tender skin. God this sucks. Dean kept speaking and wrapping like you weren’t near tears,

“I mean, I figure you’re in charge of what you wear right? As long as you don’t go off on a tangent with like a weekend orgy or something.”

“Dean!” Sam tried to reprimand but he only ended up laughing while you tried your best to glare at them both. Then the taller Winchester noticed you weren’t breathing, “You alright? Is he making it too tight?” you shook your head,

“No, it just hurts anyway. It’s fine.” you gave a small shaky smile. The pressure of the wrap was also alleviating some of the discomfort as well as Dean continued to lay it on. Then a question that you didn’t even know was on your mind slipped out,

“So you both have nightmares too, huh?” both men traded awkward shifty eyes at one another before Sam finally answered you,

“Yeah we have nightmares too.” you nodded with pursed lips. Their expressions said “I don’t want to talk about it” but you bruised ribs said “You bastards owe me a heart to heart conversation right now” so you went for it.

“What are yours about?” Dean swallowed and didn’t look at you while he pretended that wrapping your ribs took all of his focus, even though he’d probably done it a million times. Sam didn’t answer either so you tried a different angle,

“In - in mine, um, sometimes it’s momma, sometimes daddy but it always starts out happy,” your voice cracked on that last word and with a furrowed brow you swallowed thickly to continue. The kitchen was deathly silent, “like a memory from when I was little or something. . . but then it all goes dark - and I can feel it right before it happens, like there’s a heavy cloud settling over the memory.”

Dean had finished with your ribs, but didn’t move away, allowing you to keep your hands on his shoulders. His own came down to rest tenderly on your thighs, squeezing a little. You couldn’t bear to look at his face - either of their faces actually, Sam as usual was radiating comfort and sorrow beside you.

“They end bloody or - or scary. . . You know with images that I can’t shake for a while. W- when you found me crying the first night, momma’s skin was rotting away in my front yard. Rotting down to the bone.” you shuddered, “I see it sometimes still. . It’ll pop into my head when I’m trying to remember what she looks like, and I can’t get it out.”

When a tear dripped off of your chin it actually surprised you. When did I start crying? Oh God that’s embarrassing. . . You stubbornly wiped your cheeks,

“Sorry, I’m such a baby.” you tried to chuckle but it came out as a hiccup, and you sniveled loudly bringing your hands back to your lap to look at them. “It. . . it just feels like my memories are being destroyed nightmare by nightmare. Pretty soon I won’t have any good ones left. It feels like my heart is breaking all the time, I wish it would just stop already.”

Then you did look up to the Winchesters, almost gasping at the bleeding emotion that was clear as day on their faces. They didn’t even try to mask it when you looked.

“Is it ever gonna stop?” your voice was weak. Sam’s big brown eyes were shining at you, and you realized with a start that he was actually near tears himself. Neither man answered you. You supposed there was no answer to that question really. However Sam did offer you what you were looking for,

“Mine are about. . . Hell mostly,” he let you react for a second or two, you knew Sam had been to Hell - Dean too - but it never got more normal each time he said it, “You don’t know this but Lucifer tried to claim me as his vessel - would antagonize me everyday until I really did start to lose my mind. So, I dream about that and being tortured for eternity. It varies really.” the dude shrugged.

Fucking shrugged.

You just gaped at him, feeling like a huge pussy for crying over upsetting images of your dead parents while this dude legitimately was tortured some nights.

“Oh God.” was all you said, and then Sam looked to Dean and you followed his gaze. At feeling your eyes on him, Dean startled slightly and let his eyes jump between both of you.

“We’re seriously doing this right now?” he was incredulous, before his shoulders slumped and he rolled his eyes, “Alright fine. . . Obviously Hell is a big one, but I don’t relive being tortured as much as I have nightmares about. . .” he looked at Sam like he was checking if it was really okay to go on. “I don’t know if I should tell her this. . .”

“Tell me Dean, I want to know.” he was wary, and he squeezed your thighs again like he was making sure you were braced for what he was about to say. You couldn’t have been. No way.

“I have nightmares about torturing souls. I tortured souls. . .” you actually gasped, but covered your mouth to try and reign in the reaction. You didn’t want to scare him off after all.

“You did?” you squeaked even though it wasn’t really hard to imagine. While Dean could love with all his heart (when he allowed it) he was also pretty rough around the edges, like he’d been through some pretty heavy shit. Like he’d done some pretty awful things.

“Yeah, and. . . and I liked it while I was down there.” he shook his head, “Now it plagues me. Then there are the ones about uh - about” he cleared his throat and glanced at his brother, “Losing Sammy. Again. Those are the worst of em’.” Oh shit here we go, yep I’m crying again. Sam nodded with an agreeable grunt,

“I have those too.” and both Winchesters just stared at each other for a second, and there was so much in their gazes that it was easy to see why they never said “I love you” it wasn’t that they didn’t, it was just that there was no need. They both just knew. It was clear as day in moments like these.

You sniveled and broke their trance by accident,

“Hey why ya cryin’ kiddo?” Dean kneaded your thighs tenderly, and Sam wrapped an arm around your shoulder to pull you to his side,

“I don’t know,” you blubbered, trying to wipe all of the tears, “It’s just, you two I think - never mind. I’m tired, can we please go to bed?” there was still worry in their eyes but Sam was nodding,

“Of course,” you started to hop off of the counter but Sam made a deep sound of disapproval,

“No let me carry you there.” he shimmied the shirt back over your head and bent down to slide an arm under you knees and one under your arms.

“Sam, I can walk -”

“No.” and with that you were scooped up faster than you could protest. Your eyes were already drooping halfway there, his gentle swaying was lulling you into a light sleep. But you snapped out of it when he passed his door,

“Where are we going?” Sam’s steps faltered, “I figured you’d want to sleep with Dean, after. . . everything.” you were gonna cure these two of their guilt complexes if it was the last fucking thing you ever did.

“No take me back to your room. Wednesday night is a Sam night.” he snorted but turned around,

“Every other Wednesday night.”

“Shut up smart ass.” you grumbled, seeing Dean looking a little lost as you passed him,

“Dean?” Sam turned back so you could see him, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m good sweetheart.” he shuffled at his door, “Sleep tight.” but before he could retreat to his room you called out,

“No no wait,” he did, “you're not okay, do you want someone with you?” it was like you weren’t the youngest person in the hall for a moment, because he looked at his feet just like a little boy caught in a lie,

“No. . .”

“Yes you do,” you affirmed and he looked up again, green eyes shining in the dim light, “are you gonna have a bad dream?”

“Oh sweetheart,” he swallowed with a wry smirk, “they always come when you aren’t there.” your heart clenched, and a tiny whimper came out like you’d just been struck.

“Maybe. . .” you wondered if this was a huge no no for them, “maybe I need both of the Winchesters with me tonight. Nothing bad could ever get me if you’re both there.” there was a moment where time seemed to stop. All Dean did was stare at you calmly for a moment, and you actually winced fearing you’d crossed a line, but then something happened.

Dean’s eyes flickered up to Sam’s and you felt the big man nod,

“As long as you’re never touching me I’m good.” you rolled your eyes,

“That’s a two way street Sammy,” he agreed and then smirked, “I don’t think I’ve slept in the same bed with you since you were still smaller than me.” Sam’s chest puffed in a dry laugh as he finally backed through his door and set you down on the mattress, with a glance at Dean he climbed in after you leaving the eldest brother to shuffle around a little.

“Come on already Dean, I wanna sleep. . .” you whined patting the other side impatiently,

“Alright alright,” he grumbled and flopped down behind you scooting in until his front was touching your back and finally throwing the blanket over himself. Sam also scooted in until you were sort of tucked into his chest, effectively sandwiching you between the two men.

The safest place to be in the world; you’d be sound asleep in no time.

“This alright?” Dean asked, and you actually gave a tired laugh,

“Are you kidding? I’m smushed between the two most legendary monster Hunters in the world, I think I’m golden there champ.” then in a more serious tone, “I’ve never felt safer actually.”

“Good,” Sam said with a yawn, and you all three snuggled in tighter. You all fell into comfortable slumber like that, helping one another with the same problem equally. . . Dean’s breath on the back of you neck made you shiver, and Sam’s heartbeat on your cheek lulled you down, they both held you gently but firmly.

It was perfect.

You three would sleep steadily like that until noon the next day, in Sam’s dark quiet room, always touching to ensure you weren’t alone, one of you snoring softly - then loudly - but there wouldn’t be any complaint at all. Simply because you were all getting what you needed.

Simply because no matter how long the three of you slept, there wouldn’t be a nightmare in sight.

Chapter Text

“What do you mean you’re going out to the bar?” you whined, halting the pumpkin carving for a moment so you could properly pout at Dean from across the table. You were already stressed at the fact that the brothers were forcing you to start school next Monday, and in feeling insecure, you were being rather clingy.

“Exactly what I said kid, Sammy an’ me did your little pumpkin carving shindig, so now we’re gonna go have some “adult” fun. . . with “adult” beverages.” you just looked at him feeling a pang of hurt at his words for some reason,

“You guys. . . You guys didn’t like carving pumpkins with me?” you looked meekly to the table, feeling your cheeks heat up at the notion that Sam and Dean had forced themselves to spend time with you doing little kid shit.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Sam butted in quickly, even gripping your knee under the table, “no one said that, this is really actually a lot of fun. . . Dean and I never carved pumpkins when we were kids. It’s cute.” his lips quirked up and you glanced at his traditional jack-o-lantern face, grimacing at you from a few feet away.

Sam actually had carved two, but was keeping the other hidden from both you and Dean for whatever reason.

“Yeah we love spending time with ya sweetheart, you know that. . . it’s just been a while since we really let loose, and I mean. . . there’s gonna be chicks dressed up like sexy nurses tonight and it’s an annual tradition for me to bag a sexy nurse.” you blushed at his crass words and averted your eyes when he chuckled at you,

“Yeah he’s right, it’s the only time of year when you don’t have to formally ask for it.” Sam agreed thoughtfully,

“Only to get a weird look for bringing it up.” Dean finished. Both brothers snorted and clinked their beer bottles together at that.

“You two are pigs,” you giggled, putting the final touches on your carving. It was an owl, and you didn’t do too bad on it, so you proudly exclaimed, “I’m done!” to which Dean and Sam both smiled,

“Yeah me too, I finally finished the last letter - here ya go Sammy it’s for you.” he pushed the pumpkin backward toward his little brother,

“That’s weird cause,” Sam pushed his pumpkin toward Dean the same way, “Mine’s for you.” Dean snagged the gift with a glare, and burst out laughing at whatever was on it. When Sam revealed the front of one Dean had worked on you gasped at the crudely carved word on it.

BITCH

“Dean what -” you stopped talking when Dean flipped his around with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard.

JERK

Both brothers were chuckling and shaking their heads fondly, while you sat there totally confused. Must be an inside joke.

“Let’s go put em’ outside!” you commanded scooping up your giant squash and marching to the spiral staircase. The boys didn’t follow at first, and you turned with an expectant look painted on. “What are you waiting for?”

“Hate to break it to ya sweetheart, but no one comes out here on Halloween - it’s too out of the way. No one’ll see your pumpkin.” you took a deep breath at Dean’s words, you were prepared for them anyway.

“I don’t care, we’re putting them outside with the tea lights. It’s tradition.” Sam furrowed his brow,

“Whose?”

“Mom and Dads.” you said adjusting your pumpkin around a little and pretending to make sure the light was inside. Really you were just distracting yourself so tears didn’t come, “And now it’s ours, so come on.” before you could look at them, you turned around and jogged up the metal steps to the heavy door.

Pushing through it, you spied a perfect spot for your pumpkin on the edge of the second step under the handrail, and gingerly set it down, switching on the tealight and placing it inside so the owl lit up in the darkening night. 

A tear did fall, but it was silent and alone, so you just let it make its journey down your chin to jump off when it was ready.It was a tear for them so you weren’t gonna end it before it ran it’s course, they deserved to be mourned. And they were everyday.

The Bunker door banged open as the two huge knuckle heads that called themselves your guardians stumbled through, looking to be the midst of a childish pushing fight.

“Alright,” Dean announced, “we’re here, so where do ya want these things?” you shook your head with an excited little smile,

“No you have to pick yourself that’s part of the magic,” Dean (as expected) rolled his eyes at the word magic, but Sam seemed into it as he studied the ground around him with determined concentration. He finally set his jack-o-lantern on the ground in front of the first step, and his "Jerk" pumpkin on the first step right under yours, forming a line of lit up pumpkins.

“Dean?” you prompted the rougher brother,

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled and chose the third and final step right above your pumpkin, he switched on the light and tossed it into the top of his pumpkin a little grudgingly, but you knew he secretly loved this.

Out of nowhere Cas appeared and you fell on your ass with a scream, still not used to his Angel mojo and all of the sudden “popping in” he did.

“My apologies , I -” he reached to help you off of your feet and whispered, “don’t let Dean get me a bell.” and just like that you were giggling, surprised to see him smiling softly when he pulled back. Castiel was growing on you, he seemed like he could be very sweet if he wanted.

“Hey Cas, happy Halloween buddy.” Dean clapped him on the back,

“Happy. . . Halloween.” he said the words like they tasted funny, “You know in the 1400’s -”

“Ah.” Dean held up a finger while you and Sam smothered laughter, “Don’t ruin it. To us it means candy and slutty outfits.” perfectly put. You rolled your eyes.

“Castiel where’s your pumpkin?” he turned his naturally piercing eyes to you seriously,

“I wasn’t aware that I was expected to bring an orange squash. . .” he squinted and you got a little flustered,

“Um, um well I mean you didn’t have to - but it’s. . . never mind Castiel sorry.” Dean and Sam were staring at you and Cas tilted his head quizzically until a little smirk graced his face,

“I make you nervous.” he observed,

“A little,” you squeaked with a shrug making all of the men chuckle lightly, “I mean. . You’re an Angel for crying out loud.” he took pity on your meek confession,

“There is no need to feel timid with me          , please call me Cas.” with a snap of his fingers a pumpkin appeared, already carved on the top step over Dean’s. It had an image of Angel wings on the front. You were too busy gaping to notice Cas had moved extremely close behind you, and he made you jump with a hand on your shoulder before whispering,

“Does that fulfil your tradition darling?” your eyes bugged and you looked up at him, feeling an odd pang in your heart at the word,

“D -darling?” you swallowed at the intelligence in his big blue eyes,

“I’m aware your father used to refer to you that way, it puts you at ease does it not?” it actually really did, but your eyes pooled at the trench-coated man’s thoughtfulness.

“Thank you Casti -” his eyebrow raised, “Cas. Thank you Cas.” and even though you knew he was gonna take it awkwardly, you hugged him from the side and gazed at the glowing row of pumpkins now shining brightly in the darkness. The Angel’s arm gently wrapped around your waist in a slow, unsure fashion,

“Hey we need a picture, everyone turn around!” Dean called as he marched a few feet away with his phone out,

“No you have to be in it too!” you yelled after him,

“Well someone's gotta -”

“Allow me.” Cas interrupted and with a flick of his wrist Dean’s camera was jerked out of his hand and hovering in the air.

“Whoa.” you breathed, but Sam and Dean didn’t even bat an eye at the show of real magic, instead Dean just jogged back as Sam crowded in. You were all pretty much hugging each other with the pumpkins shining and the Bunker in the background, a happy little family.

The camera flashed, and came zipping back to Dean’s outstretched hand,

“Good’n.” he rumbled with a fond smile, that one’s a keeper. There was a moment of warm calm amongst the four of you, and you all basked in it happily - it was one of those moments that would last a lifetime. You knew it already.

“Okay,” Sam clapped and snapped everyone out of their contented haze. “You ready to hit the bar?” he gave Dean a meaningful look that had you furrowing your brow,

“Oh yeah - yup. Let’s do that. .” he cleared his throat and headed for the Bunker,

“Right, the bar.” Cas said with an amused smile of his own. What the Hell is going on here?

“Are you guys dressing up?” you called as you basically jogged after them,

“Yeah we have our outfits in the car,” Sam explained when he stopped to hold the door open for you,

“We’ll be back in about three hours, there’s leftover pizza in the fridge and if you need anything, call Cas - he’ll hear ya.” Dean ran you through the biz with an overly serious expression, “If you get tired, don’t wait up alright? I mean. . . If all goes according to plan we might not come home, am I right Sammy?” he elbowed Sam suggestively,

“No booty calls in the Bunker.” you reminded both of them and Dean’s face fell into a pout while Sam just looked amused.

“Yes mom.” Dean mumbled before kissing your hairline and squeezing your shoulder, Sam copied him but also said,

“Try not to get to scared here all alone, it is Halloween after all. . .” you glared at his back as he walked away chuckling. Just big dumb boys, those ones. To further prove your point Dean practically skipped to the garage door, bumping roughly into Sam and exuberantly shouting,

“Brews and sloppy screws Sammy, brews and sloppy screws!” then they both fucking high fived. Jesus these two. Still standing halfway in the doorway watching your protectors leave you alone for the first time, you turned to Cas with a little smile,

“You wanna come inside? I’m baking pumpkin pie. . .” he gave you a kind smile, blue eyes crinkling in the corners and you thought back to how Dean had told you Cas only looks at a few people that way. Not just anyone sees Cas’s smile.

“I will check on you in a few hours, for now I have some business to attend. Halloween is a busy day for heaven.” you nodded trying not to let the disappointment at being alone show on your face,

“Will you do me a favor then?” you swallowed a lump in your throat,

“Of course, if it’s within my power.” he suddenly became serious and at full attention, looking like the soldier he really was for once, only to completely soften again at your next words. They trembled coming out,

“Will you um. . . tell my parents I love them, and - and that I’m okay? If -if you can I mean I don't know how it works up there. . .” wow that was really hard to get out. A hand on your chin, gently forced your wet gaze up to him,

“I tell them everyday           .” and then the tears fell and you threw yourself at him, smashing your face into his white button up. He spoke again, knowing somehow you needed to hear more. Maybe Cas wasn’t as socially deaf as everyone said,

“They care and worry about you. In their heaven they live in your childhood home, going about the afterlife exactly as they did in living. . . Only you aren’t there and for that they seem both happy and sad. They miss you, but I tell them of your daily exploits.          , they love you too. Always.” your heart was bursting and it felt like there wasn’t enough air in the world for your lungs,

“Oh Cas. . .” you sobbed, “Thank you, thank you. . .” he rumbled and unwrapped your arms from his waist so he could lean down and wipe your tears,

“No need for these darling,” he used the name again and you wondered if your father told him to, “they are happy, and so should you be. Happy Halloween, I will see you before the night ends.” and with that he disappeared, off to do otherworldly things no doubt, which only made that minute or so he spent comforting you mean so much more.

Castiel was good.

Turning to walk back into the Bunker with an odd mixture of glee and sorrow flooding your senses, you set about doing menial tasks, like cleaning, checking the pie, and eating your weight in Dean’s chocolate stash.

You’d catch Hell later, but hey, it was Halloween - you’re eating some damn chocolate. It was like that for hours, you all alone watching horror movies and eating whatever struck your fancy. Ignoring Dean’s warning to never reveal the location of the Bunker to anyone, you ordered pizza thinking it would just be a little secret between you, yourself, and you.

After all you were kinda miffed that they ditched you tonight, and you knew it was very likely they were coming back until tomorrow sometime - just look at them for God’s sake! No one in their right mind is gonna turn a Winchester down. . . so you pouted and sulked around, feeling a little abandoned.

Then you had an idea. Lacey.

Lacey was a part of your old life - your best friend actually. . . her broken heart necklace was one of the few things that you were able to save from the fire since you had it on that day. You looked around like fire and brimstone would rain down for even thinking of calling her.

There was no way you weren't going to especially, when you knew for a fact she was in Kansas visiting her cousins. . they lived about 3 hours away from here. You knew her number by heart. . . and if you didn’t do this you’d likely never talk to or see her again.

And when you have a friend that you’re pretty sure was gonna be in your life forever, it’s really hard to let go.

So you grabbed your cell phone and dialed. Dean be damned, he was probably balls deep in some big breasted blonde by now anyway. He doesn’t have to know. . . Sam either. . . Oh please don’t freak out Lacey.

On the third ring her voice came through,

“Yello. .” she answered lazily, her voice taking you back to what seemed like a different lifetime,

“Lace. . Lace it’s me, it’s -”

“         ? Oh my God         , is that really you?” she sounded almost hysterical and it made you tear up. “Please be you, are you okay? Oh God where are you?” now she was crying,

“I’m - I’m okay Lacey, really I promise. I shouldn’t be calling you though so please please don’t freak out alright?”

“Don’t freak out? I thought. . . everyone thinks you're dead!” she cried and you winced, “I’ve missed you like crazy I thought - I thought I’d lost my best friend!”

“I know, I know,” you soothed, “I’ve missed you too, I really want to see you Lace. I know this is short notice and it’s weird, but - but I have two people who really love me and a new home. I’ve started over, but. . . can um, can we hang out tonight?”

It was weird to say it like that, as if you were calling her over on a normal Saturday instead of it being almost two months since you’ve spoken. But Lacey, the saint that she really was, answered in the same fashion,

“Yes, God of course. Where are you? Wait. . . who loves you?” she asked worriedly, “No one is making you do any. . weird stuff right? Are you really okay?”

“No one is making me do anything weird, and yeah I really am okay.” you assured, rethinking this plan a little, “But Lace, really listen to me on this. You can’t tell anyone I called. It would ruin everything. . .”

“Alright, alright,” she agreed and you could see her nodding determinedly in her bedroom, the bedroom that you basically grew up in, “I’m coming - Jesus this is weird - where are you?”

“I’ll text you the address, it’s about - are you in Oregon?" please be here, please be here. . .

"Nope, Kansas."

"Oh thank God! Good .I mean it’s still three hours away so -”

“I don’t give a shit if it’s 24 hours away, I’m coming.” you smiled, that was the Lacey you knew,

“How are you gonna get here?” you wondered aloud,

“I’m stealing my brother’s fucking car, I’ll be there. I swear to God I’ll be there. . .” then she got serious, “          , I’m so sorry about everything, the fire, your - your parents. Everything.” you swallowed thickly,

“I know, it’s been. . hard. Just hurry up okay? I need some girl time stat.”

“Alright, text me the address. I love you          , I can’t believe you’re alive. I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too, I’ll see you in three hours.”

“Make it one and a half.” and with that the line went dead, and there was nothing you wanted more than to see your friend, no matter how pissed Sam and Dean would be about it if they found out.

Lacey wouldn’t tell a soul about this - as hard as it would be - but that’s the kind of friends you were to each other. You had a secret? It’s in the vault. You killed a guy? It’s in the vault. You’ve been hiding out in a Bunker with two dudes starting a new life while everyone thinks you're dead? IN. THE. VAULT.

Nothing could breach that vault. It was locked right up until you both died.

~

Lacey was true to her word.

It took a little over an hour for her to start banging on the big metal door from the outside. And you flew up the steps screaming even as you flung the door open and crashed into her. You both fell off the side of the stoop and onto the grass, screaming and tearfully laughing for a good ten minutes while you roughly embraced.

After babbling at each other shrilly until you could get the full story out - minus the supernatural part of course - Lacey seemed to understand why you chose this life over any other, and promised vigorously to keep it quiet.

By then you were inside the Bunker sitting on your pink bedspread holding pillows and gossiping like a teenage girl should.

“You’re the only person that I care about from back home, and now that you know everything - it just feels right.”

“But Sam and Dean can’t know?” she clarified, and you nodded solemnly,

“Absolutely not - no way - they’ll kill me.” her eyes widened and you quickly added, “not literally of course. They’re really great guys, I hope someday you can meet them.”

“Me too.” she grinned, and then frowned, “You know it’s been really hard back home without you. . I still don’t even know what to do with myself.” you snorted, trying to keep the conversation light,

“Oh please, you have a ton of friends!” and that was the truth, Lacey was very popular - after all she’d blown off three parties to come see you,

“None like you         , I miss you. I miss this.” and you both sad in melancholy silence for a minute or two before the oven started screaming all the way from the kitchen to tell you the pie was done.

“Let’s eat pie and ice cream until we vomit and watch -”

“Pet Sematary.” she finished and you both giggled. Stephen King’s Pet Sematary was a tradition each Halloween between you two after you found it in her grandma’s house. It never got less scary.

****

The credits rolled and both you and Lacey were curled up in a sea of blankets watching the screen with wide eyes, shocked silent yet again.

“God I always forget how creepy that is.” she breathed and you only nodded. There was a loud bang somewhere in the Bunker and you both jumped with identical yelps, only to laugh nervously. “It’s just an old building. . .” she muttered still chuckling a little,

“Listen, I should probably head out if I wanna get back before my Chris finds out I stole his ride. . . I’m so happy you’re alright. Seriously, I need you to call me all the time.” you nodded, sad that this was the end of your much needed reunion.

“Every chance I get,” you promised before heaving yourself off of the couch, “I think I ate too much ice cream. . .” you put a hand over your tummy,

“There’s no such thing as too much ice cream!” Lacey laughed, “Hey where’s your bathroom, I gotta cut some timber.” God her crassness was never ending, you giggled,

“Gross! There’s one in the hallway next to the kitchen - you could use mine though if you want.” she winked and clicked her tongue, before giving you the finger guns and skipping away,

“Consider it destroyed!” she called before disappearing around the corner. You were busy cleaning up the living room, and getting rid of all evidence to the fact that you’d had a friend over, when a loud shrill shriek echoed through the stone corridors.

“L -Lace?” you called nervously, spine still tingling from the hair raising scream when another tore from the direction of your room. Okay now you were freaked out,

“           !” you heard your friend screech and broke into a run toward where you thought she might be, only to come to a skidding halt when you rounded the corner. Now screaming yourself, you tried to comprehend what exactly you were seeing because right now it didn’t make sense.

There, standing at the end of the long quiet hallway, was a Miner. A fucking giant coal miner stood stalk still, holding a huge pickaxe, and wearing a fucking gas mask. It was terrifying.

To make matters worse the whole Bunker was suddenly bathed in red light as the power shut down, but the man still only watched you from the end of the hall, now looking even more sinister looming in the dim red light. He almost looked like a silhouette. You knew from what the boys had told you, that the war building had gone into lock down.

Now you couldn’t leave.

Again you shrieked when Lacey crashed into you from behind, she was in tears - those tears only increased when she saw what was at the end of the hall.

“What the fuck!?” Lacey screamed and took your hand to run down the corridor directly to your left. Oh fuck we’re gonna get lost in here. “What is going on?!” she cried breathlessly as she sprinted on with you in tow, only stopping once the both of you were gasping for breath and you could see down the hall a good fifty feet in either direction.

“I - I don’t. . . I don’t know.” you were shocked honestly, unsure whether or not this was actually happening, “Please tell me I fell asleep in the middle of the movie.” Lacey looked at you, still panting from the run,

“Well Jason seemed pretty fucking real if you ask me.” she whimpered at the end of that sentence looking back and forth frantically like something was gonna jump out of the wall,

“J -Jason?” you asked, “Yeah. Like there is a fucking giant in a hockey mask somewhere in here who - who just tried to kill me!” she wailed tearfully,

“Like. . . Like Jason from Friday the 13th?” you squeaked,

“Yeah, like “I’m gonna chop your head off with my machete and also never die” Jason,” she babbled, “what the fuck is going on!” you paled, finally realizing that two of your most feared horror villains may have just come to life. In fact, you had just watched both of those movies before you called Lacey tonight.

“Oh my God. . .” you breathed, becoming more and more panicked by the minute. So was Lacey.

“And that Miner? Who the fuck -”

“Tom Hanniger.” you whispered feeling horrified tears pool in your eyes,

“What?”

“It’s - it’s Tom Hanniger.” you sobbed. You two were so fucked.

“L-like from. . .” and you both said the title at the same time, “My Bloody Valentine.” and just like that you were both sobbing like toddlers. Squeezing Lacey’s hand made you feel a little more anchored so you did it, ignoring how it was clammy from all that running.

“Why is this happening?” Lacey bawled clutching what appeared to be a wooden spoon to her chest while scanning the red tinted hallway. Since you didn’t know the answer you sniveled and asked a different question,

“Why do you have that?” it was shrill. You were scared.

“Protection duh,” she retorted and you shook your head incredulously,

“You’re gonna battle a machete wielding maniac with a wooden spoon?” the blonde scoffed, as if she wasn’t a tearful mess. You two were phenomenal actresses.

“Are you kidding? Last time Dad spanked me with one of these it hurt so bad I swear it could have taken down a spartan warrior.” you winced,

“Jeez.”

“You’re tellin’ me.” suddenly her blue eyes locked on something over your right shoulder and she screamed causing you to do the same and whirl around. It was Hanniger again, but this time he was advancing quickly down the hall, his pickax clutched firmly in both of his gloved hands.

Screaming and crying, you both turned to run the other way only to shriek again when the corner reveal the man in the hockey mask. She was right. He has a machete. Awesome.

Lacey kept the spoon clutched in both hands while you both backed up, weeping fearfully as both killers stopped a short distance away on either side of you. Since there was nowhere to run, your backs met the wall on the side of the hallway.

All you could do was flit your wet gazes back and forth and tremble in fear of the two men that you never thought you would have to fear in real life.

It was so much scarier than just on the screen.

Tom took a step forward and Lacey slid down the wall, sobbing hysterically and shaking her head, leaving you standing on jellied legs with quiet tears trailing down your cheeks. When Jason moved forward however, your friend started screaming,

“Leave us alone!” she was crazed with fear, scrambling into the wall like it would move out of the way, and honestly - you weren’t too far behind her. “Please don’t hurt us! Let us go. . .” she sobbed out that last part and upon hearing her desperate words, your tears came harder. It made it more real.

Suddenly the pickax was swung in a wide arch toward your head and you too dropped to the floor, screaming when the sharp tip embedded into the wall above you.

“Run!” you wailed, diving around Hannigar and scrambling for the bedroom door that was only a few feet away.

“          !” Lacey screamed behind you, and you chanced a look back seeing that Jason had hoisted her up off of the floor holding the machete even as he hugged her to his chest, her feet dangling off of the floor.

“Lacey!” you cried and lunged back toward her like you would be any help at all. She was beating at him with her spoon. Just before you reached them two huge hands closed around your shoulders from behind and spun around to face Tom.

Then you were slammed into the wall right next to the axe. You sobbed and mewled while he held you there just watching, and you looked to the floor instead of into his inhuman gas mask - and his boots. . . they looked really familiar.

“P -please!” Lacey wailed, thrashing uncontrollably then managed to smack Jason right on the knuckles with her spoon,

“Shit.” he cursed sharply. Wait a second. . . these guys don’t speak. . . You snapped your eyes back up to the mask and realized three things:

One, even though the Miner was gripping your arms tightly, he wasn’t actually hurting you. Two, if these were really the movie killers you would both be brutally murdered by now. Or at least be in the process of it. And three, the pickax was embedded a good nine inches higher than where your head had been.

As if Tom recognized your train of thought, a deep chuckle vibrated up through his throat. You recognized that chuckle.

“D -Dean?” you whimpered, tears still flowing down your cheeks.

“Gotcha.”

~~

“You sons a bitches.” you grumbled, “I can’t believe you bailed on slutty nurses just to come home and scare the shit out of me.” Lacey had long since left for home, intent on arriving before her brother woke up, but she promised to call and visit when she could.

You had this feeling it wasn’t gonna happen for a long time though, not because of the prank - you’d all laughed about it - but it just felt that way for whatever reason. Of course you would text and call, but there was no way she could get out here other than car theft and you made her promise not to drive.

Only Sam and Dean could bring her out here and you didn’t want to ask them to do that, especially after Lacey punched Sam right in the face and Oregon was days away from here. . He deserved the punch though to be honest.

“Oh no, we did that too. Or should I say them?” Dean winked and you made a show of gagging, causing Sam to chuckle.

“You mark my words Winchesters. I’m gonna get you back for this bullshit.” it was a promise, after all you knew what they were afraid of too. Clowns and Hellhounds.

“Hey,” Sam put his hands up, “you’re the one that insisted we watch those movies with you, I mean, ya kinda brought it on yourself.”

“Whatever, I mostly just wanted to show you guys your doppelgangers.” Dean pondered before shaking his head with raised brows,

“Yeah weird, right?” Sam snorted in agreement,

“Super weird.” you giggled, thinking of the Carver Edlund books that talked about hating so much. You gave a devious look and started,

“You could almost say it’s. . . Supern -”

“Don’t!”

Chapter Text

“Mmrrgh. . .” someone was nudging your shoulder like they wanted to wake you up, “no. . . stop. . . sleep. .” you grumbled and flipped over. The owner of the bed spoke softly with a chuckle,

“Hey kiddo, you gotta get up. Sammy made breakfast. . . school starts in two hours.” that got your attention, but you still didn’t roll over,

“School?” sleep was obvious in your voice, “Why didn’t you tell me. . ?”

“Yeah we didn’t want to stress you out last night, but we got you all enrolled last weekend. Now come on you don’t wanna miss your first day do you?” Nervous butterflies lit up in your stomach,

“Yes. Now let me sleep,” you closed your eyes like Dean would go away, again he chuckled but you could tell his patience was starting to wear thin,

“Come on sweetheart, don’t make me drag you outta here. .” suddenly his fingers were wiggling up your side over the covers, and you tensed at the tickling sensation,

“Deeean. . .” you whined sleepily, “I’m tired! Go away. . .” out of nowhere is stubbled face nuzzled into the crook of your neck while his fingers intensified the tickle, and he scraped his coarse hair purposefully across your soft skin,

“Ow!” you squirmed, but he held you down and kept rubbing roughly while he chuckled at your reaction, “Dean! Ah! It’s like sandpaper - stop! Stop!”

“You gonna get up?” he continued his ruthless assault while tickling your tummy,

“Ye -Yes!” you cried, “I’m up, I’m getting up!” only then did he push off of you, and you quickly rolled out of bed before he decided to torture you some more. “There. Happy?” you stood pouting in your night shorts and tank top,

“Yeah I will be after you take a shower, you won’t make friends with the way you smell. No one wants to play with the sinky kid.” he grinned at the frown on your face,

“Do I have to do this today?” you shuffled, dread practically oozing from your pores,

“What? Shower?” you glared at him,

“No school. . you guys didn’t even tell me I had to go today. I’m not prepared.”

“Nope that excuse won’t work, Sammy bought all the supplies you’ll need from that list they mail out.” you huffed and really tried not to stomp your foot,

“No Dean, mentally prepared. I’m not mentally prepared. .” his teasing face softened a little bit, “I’m nervous Dean. .” you finally admitted.

“Hey. You’ll be fine,” he gently cupped your upper arms, “people love you sweetheart, your first day will be a breeze.” and with a kiss on the forehead Dean headed for the door, “Seriously though. Shower you smell like a bum.” and he slipped out,

“Asshole!” you called with a giggle. Stupid Dean and his stupid jokes. . Really though your mind was just distracting itself from the fact that in less than two hours you were going to be in a classroom full of people you’d never seen before. New kid in the middle of the year. . . perfect.

~

An hour later you’d showered and had breakfast, an omelette courtesy of Sam and his crazy health fixation. A still sore Dean presented you with a backpack, the two of you had gotten into it over the black leggings you were wearing a few minutes ago. .

“It just leaves nothing to imagination, I mean shit kid I can practically see your. . .” he trailed off,

“What my ass?” you challenged, “everyone’s got an ass Dean it’s not like I have to keep mine a secret.” he leveled you with a no bullshit stare,

“I’d agree with you on that, but       , I wasn’t gonna say your ass.” 

And then you blew up which is why the green eyed man was giving you the cold shoulder. The backpack, as promised, was filled with various school supplies and. . and a knife?

“Um Dean?” he turned back to you with an eyebrow up, still pouting, “I think you accidentally put your knife in here. . “

“Naw,” he smiled a little, “that’s for you kiddo, figured it was time to give your your first weapon. That piece’ll kill demons. If you have to I mean, don’t go lookin’ for trouble.” you stared at it.

“This is mine?” Sam entered the main room just then, he had a huge smile on his face,

“Yeah, cool huh?” he plucked the knife from your bag, it looked really small in his hand, “We just want you to be safe, believe it or not, Dean and I are actually pretty nervous about your first day of school too.”

“Really?” you looked up at Sam from the knife, his brown eyes conveying the truth,

“Yeah, of course.” a little smile graced his face, “You’ve been beside us for months now, sending you out there alone is a little. . .um. .”

“Nerve racking?” Dean offered with a sheepish chuckle.

“Yeah exactly.” Sam brought a hand to the back of his neck and rubbed, setting the blade back into your pack, “Promise you’ll be careful?” before you could answer Dean spoke up again,

“Text us in between classes, call at lunch, and wait inside the building until you see Baby roll up to the curb, got it?” damn he was in military mode,

“Whoa whoa whoa!” you waved your hands around placatingly, “This is highschool we’re talking about, not Vietnam! Relax, jeez. . . I’ll be fine.” Dean glanced at Sam, still looking adorably worried.

“Alright. . . yeah okay, you’re right.” he wiped a hand down his face, and blinked thoughtfully, “Why don’t you go load up princess, we gotta get you there in 20 minutes.” you took a deep breath. Oh God okay. . new school, new people, new experience. This is gonna be okay. Okay.

Rolling up to the curb was surreal. This high school was huge! Much bigger than the one you’d attended in your old life. . the butterflies woke up again,

“Dean, I’m sorry I snapped at you about the pants,” you apologized, wanting to be dropped off in everyone's good graces, “and Sam, I’m sorry I made a face about your omelette.” Dean seemed confused, but Sam picked up on the cause for your change in attitude immediately, and twisted in his seat to look at you,

“Hey, everything is going to be fine here. You’re gonna have a good day I promise.” then Dean piped up,

“Don’t take shit off of anyone, got me? Knock a bitch out if you gotta.” you smiled a little at his sudden hostility toward hypothetical teenage girls,

“I think I’ve been making you watch too much Bad Girls Club.” he grimaced,

“What did I say about bringing it up?” you opened the door, and put a foot out,

“Love you dorks,” you murmured to the car receiving a “you too” from Sam and a stern “give em’ Hell” from Dean before you finally grew the balls to shut the door and make for the stone stairs.

~~

All day you felt. . awkward. The school was huge, but people still gawked at you openly - even glared at you for no reason - and not a single person spoke to you. Not once. All day. You’re third period was already over, it was gym. . and it didn’t - well it didn’t go well at all. Let’s just say you came out of it with the whole class hating your guts.

Next up was Government class, which would be a breeze compared to Gym. . I can pretty much fall asleep in that class if I -

“Watch it bitch!” your books were slapped out of your hands to spill all over the floor. The culprit was a super skinny blonde girl, who was now laughing with her little group of friends. “Jesus, you fucking klutz, look where you’re going.” and with that she flipped her hair and walked into room 209.

Your government class. Great.

You recognized most of that group from Gym, and your first period, they had been eyeing you and making faces all day long. Looks like you had a bully for the first time in your life, with no clue how to handle it.

Stooping to pick up your books, you half expected some cute football player to help you out and introduce himself, but in reality people only muffled laughs with their hands and observed your now-flustered scramble.

The bell rang just as you were picking up your final book and you sprinted into the classroom, to crash into the teacher and drop all of your things again.

He looked down his bulbous nose at you,

“You’re late.” you stared at him for a moment, hearing shrill giggling from the bitch posse,

“I’m sorry, I dropped my books in the hall and -”

"I don't want to hear it.” snapped and scribbled on a red slip of paper, “You have lunch detention for your tardiness, hopefully you make it to class on time from now on.” and with that he left you to pick up your mess of books and papers Dean and Sam had given you while everyone eyed you judgmentally.

Your face burned. Detention? On the first day? The bitches still laughed openly at you while the teacher looked the other way, and you finally took a seat in the back of the room hearing someone say,

“What a loser.” as you made your way back there. Tears pricked your eyes. You hated this day. . and this school. You longed to talk to Lacey, but she was states away in an old life that you could never have again.

The day trended like that. One or two of the girls from the bitch posse would go out of her way to torment you between and during classes, you even got a note that informed you that you were ugly, which was not true in the slightest, but still hurt to see.

By the time the final bell rang, you all but sprinted out the front doors and to the waiting black ride on the curb that was parked rebelliously between two buses. Dean’s big tall frame stepped out of the driver’s side and you hurled yourself at him when he rounded the car, hugging him so tightly it may have strained a muscle in your shoulder.

“Damn sweetheart, I missed you too. .” he chuckled easily, slipping your backpack from your shoulder and edging to open the passenger door, you got the hint to detach and load up. “Some of the teachers here are hot.”

He gave an upwards nod at someone out of your view, and whistled lewdly in her direction, before he tossed your backpack into your lap and slammed the door while you rolled your eyes at his swagger.

When he dropped into the passenger seat and threw it into drive, you noticed a little belatedly that the car was a Winchester short,

“Where’s Sam?”

“Oh he caught wind of a possible case a few states over so he’s back at the Bunker doing the nerd work.” you snorted in response but felt your chest tighten a little at the info. A case? States over? Before you could think too much on it Dean asked the question of death,

“So how was your first day?”

“Uhm. .” you shifted a little, “It was good.”

“Good?” he speculated with a side glance,

“Yeah. Good.” silence from Dean meant he wasn’t happy with your answer so you sighed and decided for a half truth, “I don’t get along with a few kids in my classes, no worries though it’s nothing I can’t handle.” okay scratch that. You went with a straight up lie. The man nodded with pursed lips,

“Atta girl, just give it a chance.” spoken true by a man who never had a problem with fitting in at school.

“Yeah, I think it’ll work itself out.” even as you said it, you felt sick. There was no way this was gonna work itself out, those girls had it out for you for whatever reason and you could tell they weren’t gonna quit until they tasted blood. Figuratively of course.

“And classes?” Dean prompted, sounding like he didn’t want to ask these questions all that much,

“Yeah they’re good too. I uh, I don’t like P.E.” at that Dean straightened up in shock,

“What? Why the Hell not? I loved P.E.!” he was almost yelling, like he couldn’t for the life of him understand how a weakling like you might not be too keen on a physical class where everyone was judging.

“I mean, it’s the middle of the year here and everyone is in way better shape than me. . and -” suddenly you felt embarrassed talking about this with the practical epitome of fitness. Dean probably had no clue what it was like to not be able to run the mile or do a pull up - Sam either for that matter.

The thought made you clam up. Dean let a beat pass,

“And. . ?” he finally coaxed,

“It’s - it’s nothing.” you swallowed recalling the embarrassment of that dreaded rope.

“Obviously, come on you can talk to me sweetheart. No judgement, hand to God.” he winked at you. Alright here goes nothing. . Picking at your black leggings you told him,

“Well the gym teacher made me climb the rope in front of everyone and I couldn’t do it. They watched me struggle for like fifteen minutes, and since I couldn’t do it, we all had to run the mile. . . Which um - which I couldn’t do either. .”

Oh Jesus it burned coming out, and didn’t feel any better once you were done. The car was so silent, the air felt heavy, and you regretted saying anything to Dean with every fiber of your being.

Swallowing hard, you peeked at him under a curtain of your (h/c) hair, fearing that he was going to be smirking or grinning with all of the new teasing ammunition. However when your watery eyes finally found his face, it was hard. His eyebrows were knit down in quiet rage, and his lips were pressed into a slightly pouty line.

To top it all off his hand was gripping the steering wheel so hard his scarred knuckles were white. When you found your voice it was weak and crazy quiet in the cab,

“Are. . are you mad at me?” his green eyes snapped over to you, and you looked down a millisecond before his face softened, “I’ll try harder next time Dean, I’m sorry.” maybe he was embarrassed to have been seen with you in the front of the school now, with the girl who can’t climb a rope or run for shit.

Or maybe he was pissed that you were probably going to fail gym class. . but that would be weird because Dean made it pretty clear that it was Sam’s job to bitch about grades. After your day though, a disappointed Dean was not something you needed to deal with. 

Suddenly the Impala was thrown into an intense 180, and you screamed as the tires screeched and gravity flung you into the door.

“What are you doing!?” you cried once Dean righted the car, and pushed her up past the speed limit within a few seconds,

“What’s your gym teacher’s name?” you gaped at him. At your silence his angry eyes locked onto yours, “Well? What is it?” he growled,

“I - I. . I don’t want to tell you.” Dean’s expression bordered bewildered,

“Why the Hell not?”

“You’re gonna get me in trouble if you yell at him. .” you answered meekly, “Besides it’s my fault that I can’t do anything, I’ve been sitting on my ass the whole time I’ve been with you guys.” finally Dean slowed his car down, and turned on the road leading to the school,

“First of all, I didn’t say anything about yelling,” he was much calmer, “second of all, I don’t care if a kid looks like Jabba the Hut, you don’t call em’ out in gym class it ain’t right.”

“Jabba the Hut?” you asked quietly feeling tears prick your eyes, and at the quake in your voice he looked at you,

“Oh! Oh God no, you don’t look like Jabba!” he reached over and grabbed your hand to knead it in his huge one, “Fuck baby doll you weigh like 90 pounds!” then a tear did trickle out. What the Hell is going on with me? I know I’m not fat! But still you freaked out,

“I weigh 120!” you cried, burying your face in your hands, “Oh God I’m so fat!” and then you were sobbing,

“Oh. . Oh man. .” Dean was beside himself at your outburst, clearly unsure how to handle an insecure teen breaking down in his passenger seat, “Hey. Hey no calm down -”

“I - I can’t even climb a rope Dean - oh God people hate me in that class now! I want to crawl in bed and die, will you please just take me home?”

“Absolutely,” he conceded, “right after I go to whoever’s in charge and take care of this, it’s obviously an issue.” you sniveled and wiped your nose,

“Please I just wanna go home,” you whispered and he looked at you after pulling up to the curb,

“Shit princess, are you sure somethin’ else isn’t wrong? What’s up with you?” you hiccuped and sucked in a choppy breath before practically yelling,

“I don’t know! I c-can’t stop crying!” then realization dawned on the man’s face, and finally a tiny smirk,

“What are you smiling about? Are you laughing at me?!” more loud ridiculous crying, while Dean actually chuckled at your hysterics,

“No baby girl, not laughin’ at you,” he patted your knee, “Give me 20 minutes in here, and I’ll getcha home for some ice cream and that stupid show you like.”

“The Bad Girls Club?” he winced, but gave your knee a squeeze,

“Yeah. . yeah that shit.” you sniveled and started to calm down,

“Okay. . thank you Dean.” you whispered feeling like a fool. Today has been a real shitter for sure. . .

“No problem sugar,” with one last pat, he was out of the car and headed for the front doors. You wondered what he was gonna say, what kind of Hell would come out of this, but then you remembered that Dean wouldn’t do anything that would come back down on you. .

So you relaxed and did what you did best these days: Trusted a Winchester to take care of you.

~~~

By the time a rather giddy Dean Winchester, made it back to the car your tears had dried and you were simply contemplating how the rest of your day went. Honestly you had never experienced bullying in your hometown. . you were well liked and had Lacey to slap a bitch if they said something even slightly rude.

Now you were on your own. How do people go their whole 4 years being bullied? I went for one day and I already want to run away and hide forever. The door opened and let the cold winter air in,

“God you took forever.” you complained straight away, but he ignored you,

“Heya kiddo, you doin' alright?” he was still grinning, so you hoped for good news,

“Yeah I guess, sorry I freaked out. . I don’t know what’s up with me.” he gave you a steady look and chuckled,

“Oh I think I have an idea,” you gave him a confused squint and he sailed on, “thanks to me and my powers of persuasion, you don’t have gym until the final quarter of this year.” you stared,

“How did you do that?” it came out as an excited squeal and your arms were around his neck instantly,

“Like I said. Persuasion, and well, your superintendent is a chick so. .” you pulled back,

“Dean! You didn’t!” he flicked his tongue at you and wiggled his tawny brows suggestively, “Ew! Gross! Don’t ever do that to me ever again!” your face was beet red as you folded back onto your side of the car,

“That’s sure as Hell not what she said,” he laughed and brought the Impala roaring to life once more, then brought out a crumpled pair of red lace panties from his pocket to wave around tauntingly, “So now that I literally got your W.I.P. in my pocket, you’re home free on whatever you wanna do here.”

He stuffed the panties away again, when you suddenly had a thought that was out of your mouth before you could stop it,

“Isn’t Ms.Taylor like. . chubby? I - I mean not chubby, but chubbier?” he shot you an incredulous look, appearing almost offended,

“So she’s a little on the heavier side, who says I don’t like chicks with some cushion too?” you ‘hmmed’ in praise to the never ending list of reasons why Dean was an awesome dude, “No discrimination on my part babydoll. Lady looked like a plus sized model s’far as I’m concerned, and who passes that up? ‘Sides, even after a full day of work she didn’t taste half bad, tight as Hell too -”

“Dean!” you squealed and covered your ears until he put his hands up in surrender and cranked the radio up on his favorite classic rock station. You knew that it was only Dean’s nature to embarrass you with crass language and his never ending sexcapades, he’d never stop, it was just the way he talked.

And like he’s said so many times before, he ‘ain’t used to havin’ a lady around all the time,’ so he slips up every once in awhile. It was alright with you, usually it made you laugh - Hell it even educated you sometimes.

He’d say words or phrases you’d never heard of and you’d look them up to find another bead of pervy knowledge to store for when the time was right to use it for yourself. Not anytime soon of course, being only 15 you weren’t really in a hurry anyway.

When the Impala finally rolled into the garage Sam was waiting with a huge grin on his face, and you hopped out as soon as the car came to a stop to hug him tight.

“Hey!” he laughed, picking you up off the ground to crush you. “Heard you had kind of a crappy first day.”

“Yeah it sorta sucked, but thanks to Dean I don’t have to worry about it anymore,” well except for the pack of bitches who very well might make you cry again tomorrow.

“He’s a bit of a perv -”

“If you saw her you woulda done the same thing! Just less satisfying than I did.” Dean called while digging around in the trunk,

“Actually I have this thing called social etiquette that prevents me from jumping a stranger's bones whenever I think she’s hot!” Sam retorted loudly, earning a non-committal,

“Sound’s boring,” from his big brother.

“Anyway word around the Bunker is Dean and I are training you for gym class, it’s gonna be awesome!” he was genuinely excited,

“W -what?” you finally untangled from Sam and whirled on Dean, “Train me?” Dean waltzed up with a shotgun in his hands, that took up your attention for a second,

“You bet your ass sweetheart, I’m not dealing with this exact same meltdown in four months. You’re gonna be ready for it.” your shoulders slumped and you let out a huge groaning sigh,

“I don’t wanna workout with you guys. .” you complained, putting on a whiny voice and trudging to the car to get your backpack,

“Tough shit, no Winchester fails fucking gym class. Not on my watch.” you whirled at his words,

“Winchester?” and both brothers suddenly looked on edge like Dean might have just crossed a line, “Did you just call me a Winchester?”

“Uh, I mean. . Sorry I mean I know that’s not your name, I just -”

“No. No that’s literally the best thing I’ve heard all day long,” you gave a worn out little laugh and rubbed a hand on the back of your neck, “I’m gonna go take a quick shower, um. . thanks for everything today you guys.” they both nodded as you made you way out of the garage.

The strange part about it was that as soon as you were out of the guy’s presence, you felt the weight of your day press down on your chest again.

Bullys. I can’t fucking believe it. I’m being bullied. It made you long for a talk with Lacey, so that’s exactly what you were gonna do after your shower, call her ass and vent.

The shower was hot and relaxing, right up until you found the culprit of your violent mood swings: you’d started your period. Awesome. It was obvious what the ice cream and tv show talk was all about now. . how the Hell had Dean figured it out before you? Ugh. I hate him. And life. I hate life right now.

After your shower, you set out to call Lacey for some much needed venting time. . only the phone rang endlessly until Lacey’s voicemail picked it up. You shrugged, hanging up before the beep, and feeling a little disappointed that you didn’t get to talk to her yet. I’ll try again tomorrow if she doesn’t call back. .

When you made it to the living room in your night shorts and a tank top, Dean was scooping huge portions of ice cream into a bowl, and Sam was flipping the channels until it landed on Oxygen. You knew because of the ratchet fighting sounds, and shrill arguments.

Both Winchesters grimaced, but didn’t complain yet as the heaping bowl of ice cream was thrusted into your hands.

“What about Gym?” you teased, plopping down on the couch next to Sam to snuggle in, he looked at the calendar on his phone,

“We can start working out together oh. . say next Monday?” your face reddened. That was exactly a week. Dean flopped down on the recliner a few feet away with his sharp green eyes on you that were glinting with humor. You looked down at your ice cream with a red face,

“I’m embarrassed.” you muttered receiving huge deep laughs from the two men in your life,

“Oh come on princess,” Dean laughed, “you made it pretty obvious earlier that’s what is going on. .” and then more serious when he saw the look of horror on your face, “Nothing to be embarrassed about, that’s life, we get it.” Sam added,

“Yeah actually it’s better we know, cause you’re getting steak tomorrow and as much sugar as you want.” you started to smile. These guys are so nice, “Plus I grabbed a bottle of that Midol stuff from the store way back when you first moved here, figured it’d come in handy at some point.”

“Agh, God yes.” you slumped against the couch, smiling gratefully. Dean piped up again,

“Also free reign over the tv. Long story short, you can have anything you want for a week, just don’t murder us for breathing.” he looked so dead serious that it made you start to giggle, the Sam and Dean Winchester, afraid of a menstruating teenager. How perfect is that?

“Just so you know it only lasts for like four days so you don’t need to -”

“Ah.” Dean interrupted with a raised hand, “We’re not taking any chances, so eat your ice cream, watch these crazy bitches, and quit talkin’ about it.”

Dean settled back in his chair and pressed un-mute on the remote, effectively filling the room with unintelligent screaming and bleeped out cursing. So discussion about periods is one of Dean’s no-no’s. . Cataloging that for later.

You dozed off a few times during the show, but managed to fight it for a couple hours just to bask in the men’s reactions to this ridiculous show they were being subjected to.

Dean just freaked out over a lesbian scene that came out of nowhere, informing you and Sam that if they show more of that “shit” they’d have him hooked for life. Typical Dean. Sam just watched with the occasional grimace and a furrowed pondering look as if he was discovering a new species of bug.

Both reactions were hilarious in your opinion, and hearing the Winchester’s deep sincere laughter was worth your dreaded monthly visitor. Sam let you cuddle until you fell soundly asleep beneath his arm, knowing one of them would carry you off to their room. . you forgot whose night it was, but they no-doubt remembered so you fell asleep without a care.

~~~~

At 10:30 the next day you grudgingly found yourself sitting alone in the lunchroom, almost wishing you would’ve gotten another detention to save you from this new Hell. Your left cheek still felt a little raw from yet another rude, stubble burn awakening from the ever pushy Winchester this morning.

Freakin' jerk. Sudden shrill mindless laughter approaching, made you closed your eyes halfway through chewing an overcooked tatertot while willing yourself to just be back at the Bunker with your boys.

“Hey fuck brain,” the lead bitch sat on the edge of your table beside you and plucked your chocolate milk from your tray,

“Just leave me alone, you stupid barbie doll whore.” the cafeteria went silent at your words, you could hear a pin drop,

“Uh, waet?” she spoke through her nose, and you continued looking forward, munching on your nasty tater tots. You weren’t in the fucking mood for this shit,

“You heard me, or maybe you have jizz in your ears.” you learned that word from Dean, “Leave me the fuck alone. You’re nothing.” a couple nervous sounding laughs spilled from her glossed lips, and her herd of sheep copied her. Finally you looked at her, “Get your dirty ass off of my table, I’m not really in the mood for crab with my tatertots.” another from the Winchester playbook.

“You little bitch,” she spat, opening your chocolate milk slowly, “I’ll drink this for you, doesn’t looks to me like you need it anyway.” she said it with an up and down look over your body, that in your opinion was perfect save for a little menstrual bloating, but that was really only noticeable to you,

“Go for it sweetheart.” you grinned, and heard another bitch behind you pipe up,

“Ew, she just called Erika sweetheart! Is she gay?” you rolled your eyes at the juvenile play, and slapped the carton of milk upward as soon as it touched Erika’s lips, causing it to spill all down her shirt.

You couldn’t help but smile when she screamed, and noticed that there were a few others around the crowded yet quiet lunchroom timidly laughing as well.

“Drink up bitch.” you quipped. As soon as she slammed the carton down on the table and stood, you did the same, seeing in her eyes that she wanted to straight up attack you. She spoke loud,

“Yesterday I had to run the mile because this sloth, couldn’t manage to get her fat ass up the rope. Isn’t that right?” again, not fat at all so she just looked like an idiot saying it to you. You nodded with a small smile,

“Anything else you wanna get off your flat chest, try and speak in a normal register cause your chipmunk voice is giving me a migraine.” someone legitimately did a spit take somewhere across the cafeteria.

“At least I’m not fucking my Daddy. I saw the way you hugged him after school yesterday!” okay she was treading on dangerous territory here,

“Dean’s not my dad dumbass, and we’re not -”

“Okay so your brother then? You fucking your brother? Or is just some random thirty year old guy? It is isn’t it you little slut. This ugly bitch managed to get herself an older man, I’d ask if he’s paying you. . but by the looks of him, and the looks of you - you’d have to paying him. Disgusting troll you are he wouldn’t -”

Everything happened in a blur. . it was like the world went red before she finished that sentence, and the next thing you knew Erika was laying on the ground sobbing with blood pouring out of her nose.

“Oh God. .” you breathed, covering your mouth with both hands. Clapping and roaring cheers startled you, but when you looked up everyone was practically jumping up and down with laughter at Erika’s expense. Some were even throwing food at her. . and for whatever reason you sort of felt bad for the crying girl.

Goddamned conscience.

“          !” the room fell silent as a teacher stormed into the cafeteria to grab you by the elbow and drag you toward the door, “Striking another student? Just wait until the Super hears about this.” the superintendent? You grinned, remembering what Dean did for you on that front. . well for himself mostly but you too.

However when you found yourself in the barely padded chair listening to the beautiful bombshell talk to Sam on the phone, even after you’d begged her not to call them, you couldn’t help but feel nervous at the stern tone bleeding through the receiver.

“Yes. See you both in a few minutes, thank you.” and she hung up turning and pinning your with gorgeous blue eyes. Damn. No wonder Dean bagged this chick. “Sam and Dean will be here shortly, do you have anything to say for yourself?” you swallowed, shifting uneasily in the chair,

“She. . I mean she was bullying me - I had to do something.” Ms. Taylor only nodded, processing your words,

“Well we’ll see what comes of a talk with your guardians and Erika.”

“Erika?” you squeaked,

“Yes of course, she should be in here to plead her case.” butterflies exploded in your belly. Shit I’m in so much trouble.

“Can I go to the bathroom before they get here please?” Ms. Taylor’s pretty face softened a fraction and she took pity on you,

“Of course, hurry back        .”

Even with all of your unnecessary doddling and a three minute long pep talk in the dirty mirror, you still managed to walk out of the bathroom within a measly ten minutes.

Truthfully the sound of Sam’s bordering angry voice coming out of the receiver made you second guess how cool the Winchesters were going to be about your insubordinate behavior.

For God sakes I punched a bitch out, how thrilled could they be?

Your hand throbbed as you slowly made your way back to the office, and when you rounded the door you pretended to be studying your bruised knuckles like they were the most interesting thing in the world. Actually the hand looked to be swelling, but that was the least of your concerns,

“Fighting huh?” you froze at Dean’s voice, and gulped before raising your eyes to him sitting outside of the Superintendent’s office with Sam. A tiny spark of humor let you appreciate how out of place the two monster hunters looked sitting in a high school office. Can’t be Dean’s first rodeo. The thought made you smile but only for a second.

What surprised you was that Erika was in the chair between them, looking like she’d just seen a ghost. Sam looked just as stern as Dean.

“I’m sorry. .” you tried, but Dean held up a hand,

“Save it.” he snapped, rising from his chair. Did Erika just flinch? Weird. . While Dean moved into the office, Sam stood and looked down at the girl with the bloody nose. Then he leaned down and whispered something to her until she started nodding feverishly and looking exceptionally nervous.

When he pulled back he leveled his face right in front of hers and said,

“Got it?” again she nodded,

“Y-yeah I got it.” what the Hell was going on? You were too busy staring at a shaken Erika, that you didn’t even notice Sam’s eyes on you,

“Get in there.” you startled at his angry voice and scurried past him into the office where Dean was already sweet talkin’ his earlier conquest with his feet kicked up casually on her desk. You only caught the tail end of the conversation,

“. . . you know when I said call me, this isn’t what I meant gorgeous.” she giggled, red in the face, but straightened up quickly and collected herself as soon as she saw you and Sam moving in. Dean dropped his legs to the floor and shot you a stern look that made you blink rapidly as you took a seat next to him.

Jeez why are these chairs so close to each other?! Erika tiptoed quietly in after all of you and didn’t bother sitting, instead she stood stiffly by the door. A loud crash made you gasp, as all of Ms. Taylor’s pens hit the floor because the eldest Winchester couldn’t help but grab at the feathery one sticking up out of the holder.

Dean, a little frantically, gathered them up, apologizing sheepishly as he did,

“It just looked really soft, my bad - yep, totally my fault.” you shook your head at his lapse in chill, while Sam pinched the bridge of his nose with a soft groan. Finally Dean managed to shove all of the pens back into their home, and lean back in his chair, folding his hands in his lap like nothing ever happened. What a wonder this man was.

“Okay Erika?” Ms. Taylor addressed her, “I’d like to start by hearing your side of the story if you’re up to it dear.” the boney blonde dabbed her nose fretfully,

“I -” her gaze flitted to Dean and Sam, and you realized that they were both zeroed intensely in on her in a way that made your skin prickle, and they weren’t even focused on you. “Um I was saying awful things to        , things that aren’t even true just so people would make fun of her and think I’m um. . cool.” you winced at her humiliating words at the same time she did,

“And then I - I said something disgusting about her and him -” she gestured meekly to Dean, “and that’s when she hit me. I instigated it Ms. Taylor. B -because I’m. .” she hesitated and again flicked a nervous gaze to Sam, “I’m a worthless pathetic bully.” you stared open mouthed at the girl, not believing your ears and honestly feeling a little sorry for her.

Sam and Dean both gave agreeable grunts and sat back in their chairs to turn to an equally shocked Ms. Taylor.

“Oh. Oh sweetie don’t say that about yourself.” Erika stayed bitterly silent before Dean asked the question that made you want to die,

“What’d you say about me?” Erika looked at you helplessly, fidgeting under Dean’s scrutiny,

“Dean it’s fine she doesn’t have to -”

“Didn’t I tell you to be quiet?” he asked harshly, and you looked down at your lap with watering eyes. “Erika. What did ya say sweetheart?” Sam seemed curious too, while everyone else in the room was obviously uncomfortable with the rough man’s unsettling attitude, including Ms. Taylor. . but she looked to be a different kind of uncomfortable - flushed and breathing a little heavily.

Oh. Oh. Gross. .

“I s-said that. .” she closed her eyes, “I really don’t want to say it.”

“Well ya said it earlier right? What’s the big deal? Go ahead,” his voice changed to a borderline growl then, “Spit it out.” her eyes stayed closed while her cheeks flamed red and her lips trembled.

You swore that you heard Ms. Taylor let out a quiet little “ooh” at Dean’s tone, but everyone else just pretended not to hear it, so you did too. Okay so my superintendent is a little kinky. . Just gonna gloss right over that.

“I said for the whole cafeteria to hear that you were. . fucking her,” you closed your eyes too, the air was thick and silent, “but that she’s so ugly that -” Erika actually sobbed a little mid sentence, “that instead of you paying her, she had to pay you. I’m s-so sorry.” and then she was crying in earnest, and you opened your eyes to watch a girl realize just how terrible she was.

Her breakdown was actually a little heartbreaking, but you reminded yourself that she spent everyday making people’s lives Hell, so maybe she deserved this guilty epiphany.

“That’s a disgusting thing to say to someone.” Sam told her with as much disdain as he could manage,

“I know. .” she sniveled, “I’m so sorry         .” you inhaled and connected your eyes up with hers,

“It’s. . it’s okay. I’m sorry I hit you.” and then with a tiny smile you sort of stage whispered to her, “If it makes you feel any better, my hand is swelling. I guess your face fought back a little.” she managed a weak tearful laugh, obviously appreciating your attempt to lighten the mood. You always hated watching people drown like that.

“Well then. .” Ms. Taylor cleared her throat and began filling out an official looking form, “I’m sorry Erika, but I have no other choice. I have to suspend you for your behavior. Lakeside High has a strict no bullying policy, I’ll be emailing your parents with the details.”

“W-what?” she breathed, “No. . Daddy’s gonna kill me!” obviously not seeing the real terror in her features, Dean told her,

“Bet you wish you’d thought of that before huh?” with one last look to you, a tearful Erika sort of wandered out of the office looking lost. Oh man, her home situation is not good. . But when Sam and Dean stood up, all you could focus on was your home situation. Dean leaned down and spoke to Ms. Taylor,

“Thank you Bella.” oh, a first name basis how nice, “Mind if we have a minute with our girl out in the hall?” she grinned,

“Of course take your time.” Dean looked her up and down before ushering you out the door behind Sam. When it closed you looked at your feet on the checkered tile,

“I’m in trouble aren’t I?” in the silence there was muffled. . . laughter? You snapped your eyes up to see the hunters doing a horrible job of holding in their amusement, “What’s so funny!” you yell-whispered aggressively, only making them laugh harder of course,

“Oh yeah,” Sam breathed in between laughs, “so much trouble!” more boisterous laughing and you were thoroughly confused. Finally Dean took pity,

“No! You punched a bully sweetheart, Sam and I are proud of you.” he was chuckling,

“So. . that was all an act in there?” you asked incredulously,

“Yeah, I’m not gonna high five you for knocking someone out while we’re sitting in the principal's office sweetheart.” that sort of made sense, “Way to stand up for yourself, seriously, that’s the only way to send a message. Lord knows Sammy had to do it a few times in his day.” he gave Sam’s shoulder a pat,

“A few times might be understating it Dean, it was like every time we moved.” but he was still smiling,

“Wait. .” a thought struck you, “You guys didn’t like. . threaten Erika did you? She was acting weird.” the answer was immediate,

“Nope,” the said at the same time, but they were avoiding your eyes.

“No way,” Dean affirmed, “who the Hell do you think we are threatening a little girl like that? All we said was that she should tell the truth. . just not exactly in those words.”

“So you did threaten her,” you crossed your arms,

“Not with words,” Sam countered, “we may have intimidated her a little bit, but that was all. Besides, she said some pretty horrible things to you.” you nodded, and before you could say anything else on the topic, Dean was nudging you guys toward the high school entrance,

“Wait for me in the car, I have a few more things to. . discuss with Ms. Taylor.”

“Come on dude!” Sam complained,

“Give me 20 Sammy, you still owe me from Halloween remember?” Sam rolled his eyes and threw his arm around your shoulders,

“Fine. Fine! 20 minutes or we’re driving off without you.” and with that plus a wink from an over excited Dean, Sam led you from the building under his arm. God I can’t wait to tell Lacey about my day. .

~~~~~

You sprinted down the hall, not wanting to believe what your mind was screaming. Lacey didn’t have a clue who you were on the phone. Not a single clue. When the hall began opening up into the main room, you slowed, seeing the brothers at the table pulling on beers without a care in the world.

“Guys?” you voice was shrill with unshed tears when you called to them, and they snapped to attention at the sound, Dean spoke first,

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” they both rose from their seats and move closer. You still held the phone in the air, even though Lacey had long since hung up after telling you to stop stalking her and get a fucking life. The phone was shaking,

“How dare you ask me that. How dare you.” his brow quirked up, and he looked about ready to take defense against you. These were the men who took your best friend away. Wiped her memory clean with that angel they had in their pockets. . . how could they do that to me? Cas too?

“         ,” Sam spoke softer, and took a few steps toward you, only to have you back away. You looked directly at the taller man with tears in your eyes and asked,

“How could you do it Sam?” he was concerned, but a hard swallow gave away that he might know what you were talking about,

“What the Hell are you going on about kid?” Dean piped up and you zeroed in on him a millisecond before hurling the phone at his head. Missing of course, but sending a message all the same, “The fuck are you doing?” he cried,

“Lacey!” you screamed, and both men went quiet, “She didn’t know who I was! What the fuck did you two do?” now there were real tears pouring a mile a minute,

“         , we -” you stepped forward and shoved Sam with as much force as you could muster,

“What!” you screeched, “What did you do?!” he barely even stepped back, still looking guilty as ever, while Dean on the other hand looked to bordering on anger at your outburst,

“Hey, you better calm down kid. We told you, no one comes to the Bunker - it was a security breach.” you gaped at him,

“No! You d-didn’t say anything about it that night! You even offered to let her stay -”

“Because we knew it would be the last time you ever spent the night together, as soon as we saw her here we knew it had to be done. We couldn’t trust her.” Dean’s words made you sob in anger as much as pain,

“I trusted her!” you roared, practically hopping with the force of your voice, “I did! I can’t believe you did this to me. . . She was my only friend!” and then you sat down right there on the floor and put your head in your hands to cry loud hitching sobs.

“Hey,” you felt Sam’s hand on you and jerked away, batting at him,

“No don’t touch me!” you wailed, scooting away from him and ignoring the heartbreak in his eyes. Dean spoke over your heavy crying,

“You broke one of the only rules          , you knew there would be consequences.” you choked on more tears, no where near getting a grip. You childhood friend didn’t remember you. . all of those memories - staying up late talking about boys, binging on tv shows, overeating shamelessly, everything - everything was gone.

“I d-didn’t think you would take her away from me. .” you sobbed, burying your head in your knees, “How could you do this? How could you not tell me?” Dean was serious as ever, showing no remorse, it only made it hurt more.

“Wouldn’t have mattered if you knew sooner, we still woulda done it. Just calm down alright -”

“Calm down?!” you shrieked, making both men wince, “I - I f-feel like dying! All I wanted to do since I got home was call Lace and tell her about me shitty day. . .” you wept and repeated again, “She was my only friend!”

Sam was grimacing as he watched you cry yourself into oblivion there on the Bunker floor, and Dean was starting to look a little more than guilty himself.

“I know it’s hard, but when you start a new life, you can’t go back to the old one. Not even for a second. This is for your own good, you’ll see that soon enough.” Sam kneeled down, and was speaking in a soothing register, “I know it’s hard, and I’m sorry it had to be this way. You’ll make new friends, I promise.” so far you'd failed on that front.

“None like her Sam. . .” you hugged your knees and whined shrilly into them, when honestly all you wanted to do was scream.

“Come on sweetheart, quit cryin’ this isn’t gonna hurt so much in a couple days.” that was an absurd hypothesis. Of course it would, they took away your childhood friend, wiped her mind so she would forget you. When you spoke again your voice was really quiet, and you looked up to Dean who was still standing sternly by the table.

“Please give her back,” you whispered, “I need her.” his green eyes bled apologies, but his voice brooked no argument,

“I’m sorry baby, you know we can’t do that.” you hiccuped on another sob,

“Nooo -o -o. . .” you wailed quietly into your knees, in mourning for your loss. It was a heartbreaking sound really, and by the tears in Sam’s eyes it really landed. He sniffed quickly and stood from his crouch,

“Why don’t you eat something? It might help a little,” he offered his hand to help you up, but you rolled the other way and pushed got up from your hands and knees. Instead of answering him, you just started walking back down the hall toward your room with your arms wrapped around yourself like you might shatter.

Soft sobs were still jerking out of your chest in low miserable pulls,

“         !” Dean barked after you, but you ignored him and kept moving. All you wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep until you died. “Hey!” he roared, and you heard his boots thump after you in an angry march,

“Dean hang on, let’s just give her the night alright?” the following thumps stopped, and you made it to your room to robotically trudge to your bed and flop down fully clothed.

It would be the first night you slept without a Winchester, but the nightmares that visited would be care bears compared to the betrayal you felt.

Chapter Text

The bunker had these dimpled ceilings over the usual concrete, and if you just stared at them for a while. . images would start to appear in the pattern. So far you had four smiley faces, a cloud, a rather large spastic tree, one horse, and possibly Jesus. . You were proud of your many discoveries, as you should be.

After all you had been at this staring at the ceiling business for three straight days, save for going to school and eating on occasion - not as much as usual since each day you seemed to wake up feeling just as shell shocked as the last.

The ultimate betrayal kept you up at night, made you cry regularly, caused tension in the bunker, and most importantly made you question how much you could really trust the Winchesters.

Which was something you never thought would be an issue.

Another thing you never foresaw coming to rise was preferring school over being at home. . now you were considered a hero at school due to the fact you’d knocked Erika the notorious bully out of commission, and at the bunker you traded nasty looks with Dean and avoided them both at all costs really.

Hell, once you ran all the way to the garage from the kitchen just because you heard Dean coming from his bedroom - and fucking hid in the Impala until you were sure he finished making a sandwich or whatever he was doing.

Honestly, you were in pain.

It wasn’t so much hate as hurt on your back, and you didn’t wear it well at all. There was an unhealthy fear eating at you that Dean was going to suddenly start yelling at you for being so down, mostly because he had done it twice already, and it was scary to be on the business end of his loud booming voice.

Sam was guilty, but you couldn’t forgive him no matter how many puppy dog looks he cast you, or what flavor of ice cream he practically force fed you. It was obvious that they were getting worried about your temporary depression, but hey, you just lost a friend. And it was because of them.

A knock sounded at the door. You didn’t even look to the sound.

“       ? Hey, you awake in here?” it was Sam and he sounded concerned, “I’m coming in.” he declared at your silence. The ceiling continued to be more interesting than the advancing Winchester, and you could tell by his sigh that he noticed, “Dinner’s ready if you’re interested. .” he sounded uncertain,

“If you want I can leave it in the microwave for you.”

“Is that all?” you asked in a rather monotone fashion,

“No actually.” he admitted, “We have a hunt this weekend.” despite your purposeful indifferent exterior, your heart panged a little in panic at being left alone, because even though you tried to sleep through the past few nights alone, you always ended up grudgingly making the trip to one of the brother’s rooms. .

And even though you were a shit during the day, they welcomed you with open covers - now they were leaving?

“Oh.” you whispered rolling the hem of your shirt between your fingers, his big brown eyes noticed the movement.

“Dean wants to know if you’d like to come with us.” you perked up a little, but tried not to show it,

“He said that?” you couldn’t look at him,

“Yeah he did,” then a pause where he took the initiative and sat on your bed, “        , we’re really worried about you.” you stayed silent, continuing to worry on your lower lip and play with the fabric of your shirt until a huge warm hand covered yours,

“When are you going to talk to us about this?” swallowing back some tears, you managed to keep a blank look on your face,

 “Until it doesn’t hurt so much. Maybe never.” it was Sam’s turn to swallow hard,

“I’m sorry about Lac -”

“Yeah you said that,” you cut him off, “yet my best friend still doesn’t know my name, so you can’t feel too awful can you?” he squeezed your hand a little,

“It had to be done.” you’d heard that before too, but this time you asked a question that you never did,

“Why? Why couldn’t you have just taken the one memory of Halloween night from her? Why did it have to be. . everything?” you choked on that last word, and Sam picked up your hand with both of his,

“You would have called her anyway, and it would be the same problem all over again.” he told you,

“If you would have told me -”

“You mean like we did before?” then tears did fill your eyes, “          , you knew the rules and you still broke them. We can’t take any chances on this one. Besides, only erasing the one memory leaves room for her mind to break down that wall. . If she missed you as much as you say, she thought about you everyday, and there is only so long Cas’s wall can hold up to that kind of brain power. I’m sorry, we won’t undo it.”

Won’t not can’t.

“Sam. . please.” you whispered, closing your eyes as his hands kneaded comfortingly. Instead of letting you finish your thought, he said softly,

“Get your duffel packed, all you need is two days worth of clothes.” but when he started to stand you told him so quietly that you weren’t sure you really meant for him to hear,

“I’m not going with you.” he stopped and turned back a little stiffly,

“What?”

“I’m not. . I don’t want to go with you Sam.” silence. Followed by a heavy sigh, and then the tall man was leaving your room without a word. Honestly you didn’t want them to leave you, but the idea of travelling to another state with them, and sharing a tiny motel room was too much right now. Especially with Dean.

He seemed like he hated you for some reason. . maybe because he thought you weren’t grateful enough or something.

It was as if he wasn’t able to understand how much that friendship meant to you. . it’s not like he had a childhood friendship to base it on after all. With a heavy sigh, you rolled over on top of the covers and hugged yourself tight.

“WHAT?” you winced at Dean’s unmistakable deep voice echoing down the hallway, and scooched your body until your forehead was basically touching the wall on the far side of your bed. . like he wouldn’t be able to get you there. Heavy footsteps pounded on the stone floor with angry purposeful steps,

“The Hell she isn’t. She’s fucking coming!”

Oh no this isn’t good. Your door was flung open so hard that it hit the wall, causing you to jump at the sudden entrance, but you still didn’t turn over, just continued laying on your side and staring at the wall with wide timid eyes.

Rummaging noises around your room made you curious, but the obvious opening of drawers forced you to turn over.

“What the Hell are you doing?” you tried to sound angry but it came out worried. Dean was acting crazy. The big man had your pink duffel bag in his hands and was shoving random articles of clothing into it with determined speed, he barely even acknowledged that you had spoken.

“Dean!” he only moved to the bathroom and swept the contents of your countertop into the bag with a huge clatter, “Dean stop it!” finally you were up and moving to the bathroom. There were tears in your eyes but you weren’t sure why. Anger? Frustration? Worry?

“You still on the rag?” that question, asked so gruffly and indifferently, punched you in the chest for some reason. When all you did was accidentally let out a little whimper at the pang, he finally looked at over at you in the doorway but his face was a hard mask of the man you knew, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Then he was jerking open your top drawer and tossing the package he bought you into your duffel. Having you standing in the doorway didn’t seem to slow him down when he shouldered past you a little too roughly and sent you crashing into the door jam.

Even when the force of impact brought you to your knees with a sharp gasp, he only continued stomping out into the hallway.

You bit your trembling lip and tried to smother the new pain in your shoulder, as well as convince yourself that he didn’t see you fall down so hard. He didn’t mean to do that, Dean would never hurt me on purpose. . he loves me, he loves me, he. . loves me. . right?

The youngest Winchester appeared in your bedroom door just as you rose shakily from the floor, his brow furrowed when he took in your quiet tears and sort of shocked state. However before he could step the rest of the way into your room, a burst of energy had you darting from the bathroom and slamming the door in his face.

The lock clicked into place.

“I’m not going with you!” you screamed at the solid wooden door, backing up when Sam tried the knob. You knew the yell must’ve sounded slightly hysterical because with it went a load of emotion into the air,

“Listen         , just do yourself a favor and go get in the car. .” his voice was so serious it chilled you, “You’re only making this harder on yourself, Dean isn’t gonna take no for an answer right now.” you swallowed and wrapped your arms around yourself.

Even in a sweatshirt the chill of the room seemed to get to you, and where your night shorts ended high up on your thighs, goosebumps appeared. Don’t let them get to you, stand your ground. .

“I’m not going to let you two bully me at home. I’ve had enough of it at school already,” curse your voice for not sounding convincing, “So I’m staying here, and you can’t make me come with you!” there we go, I ended that strong.

“Excuse me?” oh fuck that was Dean. How did he make it back from the Impala already? His voice sounded low and angry, and it made your tummy twist up.

“I - I said. .” stuttering and shrill. Perfect. “I said that you can’t make me go Dean. . I don’t want to!” the knob jiggled and you swallowed hard at the silence outside.

“Open the door kid.” the tone itself was nerve racking, there was no way you were unlocking the door to him,

“N -no.” you muttered, stepping back like he could grab you from outside,

“What did you just say to me?” he growled twisting the handle again,

“I said no!” you cried, sitting down on your bed and let out a threatened sob, “Go away!” Sam spoke before Dean could,

“Hey come on, calm down          .” there was shuffling, “Please just come out, this doesn’t have to go bad -”

“Get the fuck out here before I break down this goddamned door!” Dean suddenly shouted, making you jump horribly on the mattress. There were real tears pouring down your face now,

“No, just - just go away!” you cried weakly, “Please just leave me alone!” you were equal parts frustrated, angry, and confused. . but now you were also a little. . scared?

Dean’s gruff nature had made you a little uneasy since day one, but how much he cared for you seemed to eclipse that worry for the past month or so. . now he was like a completely different person and he was scaring you a little.

“Son of a bitch. .” he practically snarled the phrase just before a huge vibrating slam hit your door. He was actually gonna break it down. Again he hit it with a force so aggressive that it seemed to be shaking the walls,

“Stop!” you screamed, only to be answered by another abhorrent crash, “Dean don’t - just stop!” your yelling fell on deaf ears as he rammed the thick door again, and in an attempt to feign safety, you threw yourself back onto the bed and hid under the covers like a little girl from the boogeyman.

Another impact had the wood on the doorjamb splintering and had you sobbing beneath your blankets and covering your ears to the masculine grunts and growls as much as the giving door.

How did I manage to make him so fucking mad?

“Stop it, stop it, stop it. . .” you wept quietly with your eyes screwed shut, likely not even loud enough for either Winchester to hear you. Not that it would’ve mattered, because with one final roaring thrust, your door slammed open into your wall and the now-broken lock flung across the room to land in front of your bed.

It was quiet at first. Except for your shaken crying of course. The heavy footfalls came too soon, and when you heard them near the bed your tears picked up and you curled tighter into yourself,

“St-stay away from me!” you demanded through loud tears, and that seemed to be the final thing that set him off completely, because before two seconds lapsed he was pulling roughly at the blankets “protecting” you. “No! Stop it! Dean st-stop. .” you were sobbing and screaming while you tried in vain to wrestle your blankets back from the big man, but in the end the hurled them across the room in a ball.

Leaving you exposed and in a tearful puddle on the mattress.

“Get away!” you weakly batted at him and finally chanced a look at his face. His expression froze your blood and made you go rigid for a moment. . Oh God he was pissed. Almost enraged it seemed actually.

His normally grass green eyes were darkened like the forest in a storm, and his lips that offered the best smiles were now in a hard line that went down at the corners. . it reminded you of when you’d cut the seat in the Impala.

That’s the face he had on.

“Dean?” it was a shaky whisper. . then everything happened in an instant. It was almost like he tackled you, he was on you so fast, but his feet were still on the floor as he loomed over you and grabbed at your legs. Legs that were kicking at him to keep him away. You were in a full blown panic.

“Get - get away from me!” you shrieked, writhing when he finally latched onto an ankle and wailing when he drug you across the mattress to him, “Dean no, let go!” his grip on your ankle was tightening as you struggled and it sent sharp sparks of pain up your leg that only made you cry harder,

“Quit fighting with me,” he growled and gripped the top of your opposite arm with the same amount of painful pressure, his anger grew when you began twisting to grab at the sheets, “knock it off!”

“You’re h-hurting me!” you cried, trying to grab at his hands to get them off, but he didn’t relent,

“Come ’ere,” Dean finally released your arm to wrap his around your back, it was hard and taut with tension even before he bent low to duck his head down near your waist. Now, even as it became clear what he was about to do, you lost the energy to really struggle anymore.

Instead you just softly sobbed as the big hunter manhandled you however he pleased, letting out a gasp or whimper every time his calloused fingers bruised you - hopefully by accident. Then without so much as a grunt Dean hoisted you over his broad shoulder, jostling your much smaller body until you bent in the right place.

Then you found some energy,

“DEAN!” you kicked out and pulled at his jacket, crying and struggling in earnest, “Put me down - stop it!”

“Can it sweetheart,” and for once the term wasn’t kind at all. With indisputable strength, he clamped his arm over the backs of your legs, quelling your struggles for the most part - but when you slapped him on his lower back, the trip to the garage became much worse for you. He smacked you sharply on the ass.

“OW!” you screeched with a jerk,

“I said quit.” he muttered, finally making it to your broken bedroom door. Feeling a little meek, you reached back and covered your ass with both hands, watching the tears drop to be abandoned on the concrete as he moved.

“D-don’t. .” you sniveled miserably, still feeling the sting on your barely covered ass,

“Then you don’t, you hit me first kid.” he pointed out,

“Dean. .” you sobbed. He was quiet, “I don’t wanna go with you, please just put me down. .” he only continued moving, and you finally passed Sam, who was watching his brother tote you down the hall with wide, borderline bewildered brown eyes. “Sam! Make him stop. .” your voice seemed to snap him back, because he was shaking off his daze and trotting up behind you.

When he made it to Dean’s side he started,

“Hey, if she doesn’t want to go. .”

“She’s coming.” Dean’s voice was hard, “I’m not gonna leave her to sulk around the bunker all weekend. She’s coming.” he repeated, you jerked around on his shoulder at that,

“But I don’t want to! I can’t be around you two right now - not after what you did!” you were only becoming more hysterical, but it felt like Dean was calming down beneath you a little. He still didn’t put you down,

“It had to be done.” he’d already said that so much,

“But it hurts!” you yelled, “I’m hurting and - and I HATE you right now!” your attacker stopped abruptly, just in front of the entrance to the garage,

“What did you just say?” he asked quietly. You were sobbing again, curled awkwardly over him with the jerk of your lungs,

“I h-hate you right now - I hate you for doing this. . .” of course it wasn’t true, deep down you adored Sam and Dean, that’s why your heart was crying as you said the words. Another heavy beat went by where both brothers said nothing, the silence was grim and only filled by your dying tears.

All of a sudden Dean shrugged his shoulders like he was readjusting you and cleared his throat,

“Well,” you didn’t dare take a breath, for fear you’d miss what he was about to say, “Tough shit.” out of anything he landed on that. Tough shit. Then he was crashing through the doors and heading straight for his ride, leaving Sam in your sights looking like a kicked puppy. 

It made you tear up again. The back door creaked open, and you were practically hurled into the back seat before the door was slammed dangerously close to your toes.

“Please Dean, let me out. . I’m not going!” you tried the handle but he braced a hand on the window so you couldn’t push. His hard green eyes were enough to make you stop trying.

“Sammy! Load up!” Dean’s deep gruff voice echoed through the vast garage. You were still a little shell shocked from so much rough handling, all you could do was watch him through misty eyes as he slid into the driver’s seat without a word to you.

Casting your gaze to the seat you maimed a few weeks back, you trailed a finger along the odd silvery scar there from where Cas “healed” it. . it was also the first day Dean confessed how much he cared about you. And right now that was a painful memory. . I just told him I hated him. Oh God. .

Tears were still flowing down your cheeks after Sam slammed his door - when the Impala came roaring to life - still coming when he pulled out onto the highway - and still coming after about two hours in the car. No one said a word. Not for four fucking hours. Sam and Dean didn’t even break the silence for their usual brotherly banter.

Instead those two motherfuckers just communicated silently, with meaningful face expressions and bodily movements that would’ve looked normal to anyone else, but you knew they meant something to them. And you knew that all of it was about you.

So finally. Finally, you worked up the courage to break the silence, after five hours of on and off crying and opening your mouth to say nothing.

“You guys?” wow that’s what I’m starting with, okay then. Sam inclined his head toward the back seat slightly to hear you over the whooshing highway. Dean didn’t even blink. “Um. . I’m sorry I said I hate you. I don’t okay?” of course you were the one apologizing to them, even when they wiped your friend from your past.

Unlike the Winchesters you sort of wore your feelings on your sleeve, and never had trouble talking about them to people. So what you said next came naturally,

“I didn’t want to come with you, cause I need time. . I don’t know if I can forgive you for this yet. Not easily at least, but - but I can’t take this silence anymore so I’m sorry for my end.” Sam took his head back and nodded, and there was a moment of panic where it seemed like that was the only answer you were gonna get. It was like pouring your heart out over a text and someone replying with “OK”.

“It’s okay          ,” Sam saved you, “we underst -” a sharp look from Dean, “ -I understand. Honestly you took it better than I would have, so you have nothing to be embarrassed about.” another sharp look from Dean, followed by a fucking snort. Are you kidding me?!

“Fuck you Dean.” you mumbled, before you could clamp your mouth shut. The atmosphere in the car went still, like everyone was holding their breath, and Sam’s brown eyes bulged. Oh shit did I just say that out loud?

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” yep definitely said that out loud, and it definitely didn’t go over well. Any courage you had instantly evaporated, and you immediately looked down at your shoes on the floor,

“I didn’t meant to say that. .” it was so quiet that you barely heard it, and the car began to slow down. Oh God, oh God. .

“I’m sorry what was that?” he chided, with his head cocked to the side. You could feel his burning eyes on you in the rear-view, “You’re gonna have to speak up babe.” you gulped at his tone, and wished to Hell your filter would have just done it’s job.

“I’m sorry.” you murmured, snapping to attention when the car stopped on the side of the road, “W-what are you doing?” he ignored you,

“Hear that Sam? She’s sorry.” you were looking back and forth between the brothers - from Dean who was the embodiment of controlled fury, and Sam who looked about as concerned as you did,

“Dean - why are we stopped?” when he turned to look back at you, there was a battle to maintain eye contact. His narrowed,

“You’ll learn not to talk to me like that kid.” you paled, and watched with swimming eyes as Dean moved to get out of the car,

“What are you doing!?” now you were panicking. Is he about to drag me out onto the road and beat me? Oh shit please no. . You scooched all to the far side of the car, “Sam. .” it was a tremulous whine.

And then Dean just turned toward the road and unzipped his jeans, with his door left wide open so light sound of falling liquid could be heard through the door. Relief washed over you. He’s taking a piss. Thank God. . oh thank God. .

“Jesus. .” Sam whispered and gave a weird chuckle, “I honestly thought he was about to try and spank you or something.” he was quiet enough that his brother couldn’t hear, which was nice. Don’t give him any ideas. .

“I really didn’t mean to say that.” you whispered back,

“No he deserves it, he’s being a dick.” and you peered up at the long haired hunter over the seat back,

“Why?” all you got was a shrug.

“Honestly?” he mulled it over for a second as you both watched Dean do the slightly humorous jiggle before zipping his pants back up, “I think you hurt his feelings. He’s never coped with that well.”

“What, hurt feelings?” it was odd to imagine someone like Dean not coping with anything well. . especially something as trivial as getting his feelings hurt. He seemed indestructible.

“No. Just feelings.” Oh. Now that made more sense.

~

Showering in a seedy motel room was always nice. You could count on that one creepy black - possibly pubic - hair to be there for you on the side of the yellowing bathtub, you knew that there would be a towel or two hanging in there that had questionable stains.

Blood or shit? Guessing is part of the fun! And the very real possibility that there could be lingering ejaculate on the shower walls kept you on your toes. . Yeah. So happy I came on this trip.

After Dean’s dramatic roadside piss, he hadn’t said a word to you. . . Not even when you got to the motel. All he did was get in the shower to leave you with a barely awake Sam, who - thank the Gods - was treating you like an existing human since your apology.

Sam would always be there when things between you and Dean got tense, and it was impossible not to be grateful for that.

Sam told you that he was just gonna shower in the a.m., which made sense. The guy looked like he was sleepwalking. . you just hoped he’d manage to stay awake until you went to bed. . Not having him as a buffer with Dean was reason enough to stay in the shower for the rest of your life.

The younger Winchester’s advice was to just stand your ground with Dean, that he would respond to that more than anything and probably apologize first. Easier said than done there Sammy. .

As if there wasn’t enough to worry about, tonight was Dean’s night to sleep with you, and honestly, you’d much rather sneak into Sam’s bed for the night. . after all it was about comfort right? Dean didn’t exactly scream comfort right now. . Maybe he forgot anyway. Hopefully.

Parting ways with the lonely pubic hair, you came out of the bathroom with dripping hair, and were clad in the same night shorts and tank top you had on when Dean drug you to the Impala.

A timid glance around the room revealed Sam already out cold on the bed closest to the door, and Dean sitting at the table by the window with a drink in his hand.

Fucking great.

You actually startled when you saw that he was looking right at you, and quickly averted your (e/c) eyes as soon as they connected with his somewhat glassy green ones. So much for standing my ground.

“Nice shower?” his voice made you jump again, and you settled for lying to yourself in that he didn’t notice,

“Um. . yes.” you whispered quietly. He was making you feel like a little kid again, all timid and too shy to talk to this grumpy man, unsure how he would treat her in the event that she actually spoke up.

“Hmm,” then he stood, but you kept your eyes on the floor. Still the peripheral movement was so clear that you knew he had just downed the remainder of his whiskey. “Get in bed, I need some shut eye before the hunt tomorrow.”

Damn. He remembered. You gulped and immediately moved toward Sam’s sprawled out form only to be caught by Dean when you tried to scurry past, even with his arm around you, you couldn’t bring yourself to look up at him. This was even worse than when you first met him. . he was somehow even more intimidating.

Maybe because he actually meant to be.

“NO.” that was all he said before he shoved you sort of roughly toward the empty bed, you stumbled a little and actually whimpered,

“Dean. .” he threw his arms out drunkenly and stepped toward you menacingly enough that you hopped back a step, only to hit the side of the bed with the backs of your knees,

“What?” he cocked his head at you with narrowed eyes, “It’s my night ain’t it?”

“Y-yeah but -”

“But what?” he challenged, taking a final step so your nose was practically touching his chest, “It’s my night, so you're sleeping with me. We clear?” he spoke like you were an idiot, and a tear finally trickled out. It made your face burn with embarrassment,

“B-but the way you’re acting. .” and you paused to snivel, never chancing a look up at him. The questioning was in his posture though, “You’re sc-scaring me. .” instead of reassuring you, like you needed him to - like a normal man might - he shoved you. Hard.

And you fell backward into the bed with a surprised cry, looking to Sam only to see that he was still sleeping like a log.

Goddammit this man’s sleeping habits have a way of fucking me over. Scrambling backward to the far edge of the bed, you watched the drunken sleepy hunter fling his covers back and shed his jeans for the night before flopping down on his side, seemingly oblivious to you still sitting rigidly on the edge of the bed.

“You. . you pushed me. .” you whispered thickly with tears in your eyes as soon as Dean settled,

“Get under the covers, you’re makin’ em pull on me.” that was all you got, but you still didn’t move to do as he asked. Instead you took your pillow and conjured up as much strength as you could to hit him in the face with it - the momentum brought you up to your knees, and he didn’t even see it coming with his eyes lightly closed.

When the extra firm pillow connected fully with his face it elicited a sharp grunt from the man, just before he sat up with a fury that might make a Hun cower.

“You PUSHED me!” you yelled at him, still sitting up on your knees, “What the Hell is wrong with you?” again you batted the stuffed square at him, but since he was ready that time, it was jerked out of your hands, causing you to fall forward on all fours.

Dean wasted no time in rolling up onto his knees and pressing a hand down on the back of your neck, and small of your back, just like he did sometimes when the two of you mock-wrestled. . now though there was nothing “mock” about it.

You really couldn’t get up, unlike when you usually played and Dean went easy,

“Dean get off!” you squirmed under his weight, huffing with wasted effort, “Dean! Stop it!” finally you just gave up and went limp, breathing heavily from the strain. Only then did he speak to you,

“I’m gonna let go now. . Don’t you go for a pillow, or I’ll just get ya back in this same spot.”

“But you pushed me!” you wailed, kicking up your legs pointlessly. He snorted,

“Yeah onto a fucking bed made of feathers and springs - I wasn’t trying to hurt you!” you stopped struggling, feeling sort of foolish but also hating his guts. When he released you, you recoiled from him dramatically and flopped down on your side of the bed facing away from him. “You alright?” he rumbled softly, still sitting up,

“Fuck off.” that was the second time you ever cursed at him, and judging by the displeasure rolling from him in waves, he didn’t appreciate it. But right then you didn’t care. Your pillow was tossed on top of you, and you felt Dean settle back down.

Peeking over your shoulder proved your theory that he too was facing away from you, and for some reason it made your chest pang.

Sure, you were supremely angry at him, but you didn’t really hate him. . it was becoming clearer every second that the eldest Winchester is rarely the first to lay down his sword. All of this tension and fighting and anger was hurting you physically it seemed.

Your chest, your head, your eyes from crying. . they all hurt, and you couldn’t help but allow a few quiet little tears to escape your puffy eyes. Just there, in the privacy of his neglect. When you thought he was really asleep, his low gravelly voice woke up the dead room,

“Sorry I pushed you,” he said quietly, “and that I got so mad earlier, I shouldn’t have done that to you.” you swallowed, knowing that it was now or never. Forgive him for the little things or spend your weekend in loathing,

“S’okay,” you sniveled and tried to discreetly wipe your nose, before silently crying yourself to sleep. If only I could talk to Lacey about all of this.

~~

The sound of a gun cocking broke through your dreamless slumber, and you came to slowly, squinting against the harsh morning light streaming in from the open door. Rolling over, you sought the comfort of another warm body, but came up short with only cold rumpled sheets.

“Wha. .?” you rubbed your eyes and sat up halfway to find the bed empty a millisecond before a huge figure blotted out the sunlight in the doorway.

“Hey, you’re awake!” Sam’s voice made you smile automatically, and he took a seat on the other bed to face you with a little canister of pepper spray in his hand. It was tiny and pink, and seeing him holding it was amusing,

“What’s the matter Sam, some rough guys playing a little too much grab ass?” he laughed, just as Dean walked in to lean on the doorjamb.

“Yeah that’s real cute,” and then he tossed it to you, “It’s yours actually.”

“Huh.” was all you said, as you turned it in your hands.

“Don’t leave the room without it, in fact don’t leave at all unless you really need to. This hunt shouldn’t take long, but if you get hungry or whatever there is a convenience store down the road a little ways, and if you just need air, a park is right across the street but -”

“This whole town is shady sweetheart, don’t make any unnecessary excursions. ‘Specially at night, got me? If we’re not back by dinner, order a pizza, don’t go out. Not after dark.” Dean interrupted, and you nodded at both men with a furrowed brow,

“O -okay. .” with a nod and a pat to your knee Sam left you with the can of mace dangling awkwardly in your fingers and made his way to the door with his brother.

“There’s a 50 in the night stand. Call us if you need anything, and please, don’t go out if you don’t have to.” Sam’s eyes were dire, so you just nodded,

“Be careful,” you told them firmly, “Just come back okay?” and at that request, even Dean softened a bit,

“We will baby girl,” your heart warmed at the endearment, “no worries, this is nothing for us.” Sam nodded in agreement with a tight almost shy smile. Aw Sammy’s so modest about how huge of a bad-ass he is.

“Okay, love you guys.” you smiled forgetting about the suspended pepper spray for a moment. They both grinned back before Dean gave a loud clap and hustled Sam out the door, winking before it shut. You looked to the spray, “Alright, just you and me buster.”

As it was, you did get bored, and it just so happened to be right at sunset when it became unbearable. There was nothing left on TV to watch, you’d tired the endless internet searches on Sam’s laptop, and if you searched the kitchenette for food one more time, you were gonna lose your mind.

“I’ve gotta get out of here.” and rising from the bed you were intent on doing just that, but a little voice reminded you of the Winchester’s warning. It was a scuzzy town, riddled with creeps and danger, but a rebellious portion of your mind urged you to disobey.

Told you that Dean had been treating you like shit for the past couple days, and that this one little deferment wouldn’t hurt to much. It would just show him that he’s not the boss of you. Even though he totally is.

So taking it another step further, you glanced at the pepper spray and abandoned it on the bed to head for the door.

“They don’t even have to know, I’m just gonna get a Diet Coke and a bag of Ruffles. Yeah, that’s all. . How dangerous can walking four blocks be?”

By the time you walked out of the tiny store, it was very dark outside. No hint of the day that was alive only half an hour ago, and the walk back to the motel was causing jitters in your belly for some reason. Your mother would have called it intuition. Your mother would have stayed in the store.

You though, with your young mind, and burst of rebellion, ignored that little voice in your head that told you to take cover, instead you walked out of the store, bag in hand, like no one in the world could touch you.

What a fool you were. It only took two blocks before a man - a beast of a man really - leisurely stepped out of the alley in front of you.

“Hey there gorgeous, what’s your name?” oh crap. . Crap! You had no other choice but to stop seeing as he was blocking the sidewalk,

“Um, I’m 15. .” you told him, confident that the info would put him off. Instead he leered and swaggered forth, you could see in the street light that his teeth were yellowing. . Likely from drugs.

“That’s not what I asked baby,” Dean called you baby a lot, but the way this man said it made you feel dirty. . He didn’t mean it the same way.

“Hey, stay back. I - I don’t want any trouble.” he laughed at you. Fucking laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world that you didn’t want to be harassed by some asshole on the way back from the store.

“Oh you don’t get to tell me what to do. I tell you what to do.” okay he was officially in grabbing distance, and you were officially panicking now. So you hurled your can of Diet Coke at him, hitting him squarely in the cheek when he flinched away.

“Get back! I’m gonna call the police.” as soon as you said it, you realized that you’re phone was sitting on the nightstand. I’m such an idiot.

“You little bitch!” it was yelled just before the back of his hand slammed into your cheek, but the way it felt it may as well have been a brick,

“Ahh!” and you hit the ground on your hands and knees, reeling from that one slap. No one had ever struck you like that. . Never. . But this piece of shit wasn’t done. No, not by a long shot, because as you sat there trying to catch your breath, trying not to cry, he planted a sharp kick into your rib cage that had you screaming out into the night.

“That’s right you little slut.” he snarled, “You like that? Huh? It could’ve gone so much better if you just gave me your name.” another kick to a different spot, and another, and another, until you were immobilized, just gasping sobs whenever you managed a breath.

To your ever growing horror the man began unbuttoning his dirty jeans, with a disgusting smile plastered on his ugly face.

“N-no. .” you sobbed quietly, unable to draw enough air to scream. Rolling to your side, you attempted to crawl away, only to have his foot stomp down on your back to shove you back to the gravelly pavement, “Stop!”

“Not a chance bitch.” you squeezed your eyes closed, willing Dean to be there, willing Sam to save you, but nothing happened besides the sound of a zipper being pulled. . and then you were just willing yourself to die.

“Enough.” it was the deepest of deep voices, announcing authority into the night. I know that voice. .

“Castiel?” you whimpered, “Cas?” he didn’t answer you, instead he spoke to the man. . no, the animal above you.

“Enough.” the guy laughed a little drunkenly,

“Like Hell, I got this whore all primed and ready for me - she ain’t got an ounce of fight left in ‘er.” you whimpered,

“Please. .” and it was unclear whether you were speaking to Cas, or this horrible man.

“Shut the fuck up,” and then there were fingers on the waistband of you jeans, making you cry out in fear, but only for a moment because there was a collision behind you. Slapping of flesh against bone was evident, accompanying the pained grunts of your attacker.

You found enough strength to curl around to see Castiel beating the everloving shit out of the big man. His eyes were glowing blue. He was enraged. You watched with a sort of sick satisfaction as the man became nothing more than the slumping sack of shit that he was, all bloodied and disoriented, but just when you thought Castiel was about to stop, he did something that frightened you.

His hand covered the rapists forehead, and with a jaw set in determination, the angel burned the man’s soul straight out of his body. . leaving only empty eye sockets and a jellied meat suit. The guy thudded to the ground.

Lifeless. Oh my. . Oh my God. . After taking a moment to stare at his victim and catch his breath, Castiel rose to look at you cowering against the brick wall. Away from him.

“        ? Are you hurt?” he moved toward you as if he didn’t just off a human right in front of you, “Let me heal you, I need to make sure you’re okay.” you barely managed to get to your feet and careen into the wall,

“Wait -”

“Here,” when he was close enough, he extended two fingers toward your head and you batted him away,

“No!” it was a panicked shout, and it looked like you startled him, but you just watched him burn someone to death with that same hand. Castiel was the epitome of concerned so you attempted to save face, “I - I’m fine. I just need to walk it off.” such bullshit, your body was on fire.

“No you’re not. .” he reached out again, only to have you flinch back violently, “        , it won't hurt. .”

“Really Cas, just let me walk back to the motel.” and when he made a move to help you, you jerked away, “Alone. I want to go alone. . Th-thank you for saving me.” he tilted his head slightly. Oh shit here it comes,

“Have I frightened you?” ya nailed it stud.

“No! No of course not. .” it was almost comedic how you were trying to blow of watching him kill someone like it was an everyday occurrence, “I just. . I just need some air.” your whole body was riddled with adrenaline from the attack, and it was making you shake, making your words come out choppy and shrill sounding.

“I don’t want to leave you alone. .” he was still squinting, obviously not buying your poorly sold story,

“It’s okay Cas, really I’m fine. Just um. .” again he squinted, “Just, can we not tell Sam and Dean about this?” he looked about as taken aback as an angel can.

“         , keeping this from the Winchesters -”

“Please Cas.” you staggered off of the wall a fraction, “Please. Just this one thing. . They don’t need to know.” he looked guarded and worried,

“Fine.”

“Great. .” and then you began to walk - well limp was more like it really - and Castiel let you go. Only watching for a moment before you heard his wings beat the cool night air signaling his departure. Thank God.

Everything hurt. At least it seemed that way, you’d never been outright attacked like that before so you were rightfully a little shell shocked. All you knew, all your brain would register, was that Sam and Dean could never find out. What if they yelled at you for being so stupid. .?

They told you not to go out after dark and you disobeyed them simply for spite. . How idiotic.

What if they never took you on a hunt with them again? The way they would look at you. . it didn’t matter if it was with pity, condescension, or anger really at all. It would be equally humiliating. So no, you wouldn’t show them. Maybe I should have let Cas heal me. . Then I wouldn’t even need to worry. So you tried,

“Uh. . Castiel? Cas can you come back?” it was an awkward whisper to no one in the night, and you could feel that he wasn’t there - wasn’t listening for once, but you didn’t blame him. Being an angel probably comes with a lot of responsibility, so maybe I’m just not one of them right now.

The bruises ached all over your body and you shivered, hugging yourself against the chill and trying not to imagine what might have happened if Cas hadn’t come to the rescue.

When the motel came into view, your stomach absolutely dropped.

The Impala. It was there. They were back.

Oh fuck, fuck, fuck! There goes your chance of cleaning up before they saw you. You walked with your head down, like a death march to the grimy peeling door. Sam’s panicked voice was evident through the painted wood, and you could hear their heavy footsteps pounding around the room like a couple of over excited bulls - they were looking for you.

Here we go. . The knob twisted in your hand, left unlocked in their haste to find you no doubt, and taking a deep ragged breath you pushed the door open to face the now silent room.

Dean was standing front and center with your little spray can palmed in his hand, while Sam was peeking out of the bathroom with his mouth agape in naked concern. They were both covered in buckets of blood and dirt, looking high on lingering adrenaline from the hunt.

Great.

“H-hi. .” you gave a tiny wave as the door slammed itself behind you. Dean was the first to speak and you flinched at his quiet voice that he still managed to make sound stern,

“Hi?” it was said with disbelief,

“Um. . yeah?” without looking at them, you adjusted your top to ensure the bruises were covered, and moved your hands over the ones on your arms. Sam spoke up, stepping out of the bathroom.

“Where were you?” he sounded suspicious, but not in a menacing way,

“T-the store,” you stammered wishing you lied, because the next question was so fucking predicable,

“Where are your groceries?” crap. Should’ve seen that coming.

“Nothing looked good.” Okay now move. . to the bathroom, anywhere but hugging yourself in front of the door. The brothers didn’t answer, and you chanced a glance at them as you sort of tiptoed over to the bathroom, “I’m - um - I’m gonna take a shower.” neither of them were looking at your face.

In fact, they both seemed to be studying your awkward gait as you tried not to limp, and the way your arms stayed glued around your body. If they had been looking at your, face they would have seen you flinching with each movement.

“Hang on.” Sam stepped forward and blocked your path to the bathroom, “Are you alright? You’re acting weird.” you tried for a carefree chuckle, but if the increased furrow of his brow was any indication, you failed miserably.

“I was just worried you guys would be mad that I left, that’s all.” and you tried to scurry around him, but his arm snapped out and blocked your path between him and the wall. He still looked calmly concerned.

“Well we are mad. .” Dean’s gravelly drawl made you startle at the reveal of just how close he was standing behind you. “I mean, you didn’t even take your mace with you, but. . . why are you acting so weird?” sandwiched between two Winchesters was not where you wanted to be right now.

“I’m not. . Sam - I really need to shower, would you please move?” he didn’t even twitch. Still in hunter’s mode apparently.

“Put your arms down.” yep, sweet Sam is missing in action.

“Why? Quit being weird, you’re creeping me out.” both men scoffed on either side of you, and the suspicion went from spark to fire in an instant. Dean grabbed a wrist and yanked it off of your arm before you could even blink, the movement made you cry out in all kinds of pain lighting up around your battered body.

“Fuck. . .” Dean breathed, releasing your wrist to grab your arm and pull you closer,

“Ah. .” you were about to say “ow”, but held back when you got a load of Dean’s expression. So the bruise was pretty horrible looking okay? But they were literally covered in their own, plus huge amounts of vampire blood and most likely some of their own, so to see Dean fretting over your arm was almost ridiculous.

You jerked it away, and stumbled into Sam who caught you and held you still when you tried to skirt away.

“Wha. . Sam let go of me. .” it was hard to stay calm with the attack still so fresh in your mind and the genuine need for them to not find out what happened. Moving around in Sam’s hold was only hurting you though, so in the end you stood still while Dean approached.

He looked weary, like he wasn’t sure he wanted to see what he might find, but it didn’t stop him from lightly gripping the hem of your shirt and lifting.

You struggled a little,

“Dean -”

“Shh,” he cut you off without even glancing away from the travelling shirt. In seconds his face was taking on an expression of horror, and you had to look away, knowing the more skin he revealed the worse it got.

“Dean stop it. .” a tear trickled out, but he only stopped when the fabric made it up to the underside of your bra. Then he let it drop with a pained exhaled. Sam was rigid behind you.

“Jesus sweetheart,” you knew without looking that he was scrubbing a hand over his face, “what the Hell happened?” there was no way you could recount the past hours happenings without turning into a mess, so you just stayed silent with your lips pressed into a stubborn line as you battled back emotion.

Sam’s hands were still on you, but it was less to restrain and more for comfort now. The quiet was heavy, but Dean asked again,

“         , tell us what happened. We aren’t mad alright? Just tell us.” well they better not be mad. It wasn’t what you were worried about anyway. Finally, as if he couldn’t handle it anymore, Dean asked the question that was on both man’s mind, “You weren’t. . . you didn’t get - I mean. .”

“No.” you whispered, knowing exactly what he was asking. Were you raped? Did someone rape you? No. Thank God no. . .

“Shit          ,” Sam squeezed the less tender spots on your arms, “we told you not to go out, why didn’t you listen to us?”

“I -I just got bored -” then Dean,

“Who the fuck did this? Where is he? Where did he attack you?” all you could do was shake your head at them, it was too much too soon. But just before you broke, a rustle of strong feathers lit in the room.

Castiel. Thank God. It was the second time you thought that tonight. Now that he was here, you could just close your eyes. . he would explain. Now you didn’t have to.

“Sam,” he greeted, “Dean.”

“Cas.” they both said it, still sounding gruff and tense. It would’ve made you laugh if it wasn’t for the circumstance,

“It seems our girl happened upon a stranger in the night, his intentions weren’t. . . honorable. He’s been taken care of.” Dean raised his eyebrows, looking from Cas to you and back,

“Taken care of? What the fuck does that mean?” Dean wanted blood. Clearly more than what was on his clothes and skin at the moment.

“He’s dead.” you spoke for the first time in a while, “Castiel killed him.” Sam’s fingers tightened a fraction,

“You killed someone Cas?” and for a moment the angel looked a little distraught,

“For her yes,” he swallowed, fixing Dean with a meaningful stare, “I may have lost control for a moment.” they continued watching each other heavily,

“Well if you hadn’t I sure as Hell would have.” you swallowed at the intensity.

“Can - can I take a shower now?”

“NO.” all three men answered at once, shutting you down. Dean stepped closer and gently gripped your chin to tilt your head up, but you still tried to avert your eyes from his.

“Sweetheart, look at me.” and with a gulp you had to, only to flinch at the deep green pools of sorrow in his. A lifetime of sorrow. “Are you okay?” the way he asked, so earnest and dire, there was no way you could lie to him, but at the same time. .

Those pretty green eyes had seen so much worse than what you saw tonight. It felt wrong to suffer from it.

“I - I,” the words got stuck in your throat,

“Baby girl,” he leaned down even further to your level, with Sam still at your back. The term of endearment made you crumble a little, and your lip trembled, “you can be honest with me okay? No one’s gonna judge you here.” how did he always know exactly what to say? “Are you alright?”

“N -no. I’m not.” you finally said it, and he pressed a kiss to your forehead before standing tall and snapping into action,

“Alright. Cas,” the angel snapped his blue eyes away from you, and immediately to Dean, “You’re gonna heal her, I’m gonna get the shower runnin’, and Sam. .” he pointed to his brother behind you, looking over your head and paused before smirking a little, “Sammy you’re gonna order pizza. You know what I like.” you looked wearily at the angel, who was watching you just as skeptically,

“What’s the deal?” Dean motioned with his arms to get on with it, “Hurry up, she’s hurtin’!” Castiel took a couple steps forward, clearly measuring your reaction to the idea of him using his grace on you,

“Uh - I. .” you fidgeted in Sam’s hands, and looked to Dean with a fear creased brow. He was watching you with eyes narrowed in confusion, and his mouth slightly agape like he wanted to say something. Cas came to a stop right in front of you and blocked the hunter from your vision,

“As I said before darling, this will not hurt.” he used your father’s word on you again, and it put you at ease a little, but you were still nervous. By the wide blue eyed look he was giving you, it was obvious he noticed. So he didn’t move.

“Come on Cas hurry the fuck up.” the angel turned and snapped at his best friend,

“Give us a moment.” and when he turned back to Sam he said, “Order your. . pizza.” and with one final reassuring squeeze you were released, Sam even gave a little laugh and you watched him take out his cell phone as he walked out the door.

Fucking walked out into the night just like that, without a care. Without a fleeting thought that he might be accosted upon crossing the threshold. . and you were jealous.

Bet it’s nice to be six foot huge, and not have to worry about anything. Dean passed you with a quizzical glance on his way to start your shower, and once again you were alone with an angel.

“         ,” Cas grabbed your attention, “there isn’t a thing to fear. The healing process is painless. . to my knowledge all you’ll feel is a tingling sensation.” you only nodded and studied his blue tie. “That isn’t the only thing troubling you.” it wasn’t a question, and when you looked up his eyes were narrowed.

“I - I don’t feel like. .” oh man why was this so hard to say, “I don’t deserve this.” it was a quiet whisper, and in a split second two fingers were on your head and one hand was gripping your shoulder,

“CAS!” his eyes lit a terrifying yet beautiful glowing blue, and tingling electricity zinged through your body, focusing on every scratch, and every bruise. You stumbled back when he let you go, and caught yourself on the wall. He looked angry. But you were also angry.

“Why did you do that?!” you yelled at him, “I didn’t deserve it! It was my fault!” Dean came barreling out of the bathroom just as Sam was waltzing back in from outside,

“Pizza’s comin-” he froze with his hand on the knob, “Am I interrupting something?”

“He just healed me without my permission!” you stomped up to him, planning on giving him a shove, but when he didn’t shy away or even crack his glare, you balked and settled for stopping directly in front of him.

“There isn’t a reason I shouldn't have,” he stated levelly, “while you shouldn’t have gone out alone, it wasn’t your fault. You deserve care.” Sam and Dean were floored at this new information.

“You didn’t want him to heal you?” Dean stepped back into your view, and you wiped a stubborn tear away roughly,

“I went out tonight, just to disobey you and make you mad.” you crossed your arms, “I got what was coming to me alright? And what I deserve is the bruises to remind me how childish that decision was! I did it to myself!”

“No.” Castiel’s eyes flared again and you hoped back, “You think walking to the convenience store in the night is a punishable offense? Worthy of being beaten. . or worse?” he stepped toward you, and you backed up on impulse. 

“Do you know what that man’s intentions were? That’s a high price to pay for a Diet Coke          .” the atmosphere in the room was tense, everyone looked grim, and now you felt like a fool.

“I’m -”

“Don’t apologize,” Castiel snapped, “you have nothing to be sorry for.” then he did something that likely caught everyone off guard. Castiel initiated a hug. He crushed you to him a tad roughly and squeezed for all it was worth, obviously forgetting his angel strength for a moment,

“Well I’ll be damned,” Dean whispered, “Sammy, the guy’s givin’ his first real hug.” Sam sounded just as shocked,

“I see that. .” and then he pulled back to look at your face,

“I will come back as soon as I can, but for now,” he used his thumb to wipe a tear away, “let the Winchesters help you.”

“Okay. . Okay I will.” you nodded, still a little shocked at his display of affection,

“Promise me.” he affirmed,

“I - I promise.” and with a small smile he said,

“Now you know what happens if you break a promise to an angel of the Lord?” but before you could ask “what?” the trench coat clad man was gone. Sam and Dean were watching you, and you absently turned to the bathroom with wide eyes mumbling something along the lines of,

“I’m. . gonna go take a shower. .”

~~~

After a really long hot shower, you emerged from the bathroom to find a scene much like the one from your first night in the motel. Sam was in bed, just not sleeping yet, and Dean was sitting in that damn chair beneath the window.

“How ya feelin’?” Dean rumbled,

“I’m fine,” it was only partly a lie. After Cas healed your cuts and bruises you felt a lot better, and the shower added to that. The only thing lingering was how shaken you were from the attack itself. . Dean nodded and Sam watched you,

“You could probably use some sleep,” he said from his place on the bed, and you smiled at the familiarity of this part,

“Your night right?” he mirrored your smile, but told you,

“Actually Dean and I did rock paper scissors, and I lost so it’s Dean’s night again.” Dean was almost giddy,

“Sam picked paper! Imagine that. .” and as soon as Sam tossed you a wink, you knew that he had lost on purpose. After all everyone knew Dean always threw scissors. So you all settled in, Dean cuddled you for a couple hours until he thought you were asleep, and detached to roll onto his side.

You weren’t sleeping. In fact you couldn’t no matter how hard you tried. . the things that man said to you in the alley kept resurfacing, and each time you shut your eyes you pictured him. . Pictured him smiling, unbuttoning his pants - Hell you could even feel him striking you mercilessly while you sobbed.

He was evil. And he almost got me. . Before you could stop yourself, you sniveled and hiccuped slightly. Dean shifted, and you froze, hoping he didn’t really hear it.

“You cryin’ kiddo?” he was so tired, it was clear in his slurred voice. A pregnant pause occurred, where you tried hopelessly to get your shit together,

“No. .” the word crescendoed at the end with obvious strain to keep the tears secret, and Dean wasn’t an idiot so your cover was blown. No kind words were spoken though, and for a moment you thought he was just gonna go to sleep and leave you there to drown.

 The shifting around wasn’t just him getting comfortable though, because suddenly his arm was draped over your side and pulling you across the ruffled bed toward him.

“Dean quit it.” you wept, but he only pressed you flush against him and brought his other arm under your shoulders to hug you close, “I’m fine. .”

“Nuh uh, come’ere.” he murmured, planting a sweet kiss to the top of your head, “I’m so sorry kiddo. . for everything. All of it. For Lacey, for tonight. . for fucking pushing you. I’m sorry okay baby girl? I really am.”

With a tiny tearful sob, you turned over to face him, and buried your face in his chest to cry, basically ruining his black t-shirt with your tears.

He had to know that what happened tonight wasn’t the only cause of your tears. . there was a bigger problem that you had yet to address, and damn it, you were gonna do it right now.

“Why were you being so mean to me earlier?” you wept, “All I wanted was my friend back. .” a heavy sigh sunk Dean’s chest in, sort of a “here we go” kind of sigh,

“I told you, we can’t -”

“I know, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Why can’t you see that?” you were still speaking into his chest, unwilling to let the first gentle contact from him in days go just yet, “I’m sorry I said I hate you guys, that could never be true but - I hate what you did and. . and how you treated me.” he was quiet so you said the last thing you knew for certain,

“I’m not overreacting. I’m not.” another softer sigh, and the big man was holding you tighter,

“I know. .” his chest rumbled against your cheek, “I know this is gonna be hard for you, and I’m sorry for it. As for tonight, you’re lucky a few bruises was all you got. Lucky that you’re still the same girl who walked out the door, as you were walkin’ back in it. Do you understand that?”

Well if he could see your pale face, he wouldn’t even have to ask. You already knew it could have been a much darker night for you, but when the rugged man put it so poetically, he made it even more real.

“I understand.” you whispered quietly, not trusting your voice for anything more.

“It feels like I never want to let you out of my sight again. .” he grumbled, “I mean fuck. . Maybe me and Sammy shoulda just taken you along today.”

“Like on the hunt?” the big man stiffened like he got ahead of himself, “I wanted to go, I thin -”

“Nope. Don’t even bother finishing that sentence sweetheart.” then he pulled away to drill his hard serious eyes into yours, “You are never - never, coming on a hunt. Is that clear? We aren’t subjecting you to that world anymore than you already have been.” you nodded. With the way he was looking at you, it was really all you could do.

What? Am I supposed to say no to that kind of hostility? Fuck no.

“Good.” and then he settled back in with his head resting far over the top of yours. The height difference was always glaring with you and the Winchesters. When he spoke next it was more tired, like he was letting sleep win the battle of consciousness, 

“Sammy and I are here for you sweetheart. Always. Always. If your ever afraid to talk to me about something. . well go to Sam.”

You smiled at the fact that he didn’t even bother saying don’t be scared. He knew what he was. A scary intimidating son of a bitch - most of the time. When he wasn’t feeding you your weight in ice cream, and binge watching your shitty tv shows.

“Even though it don’t show sometimes, just know that I. . I. .” his sentence faded out,

“You what?” he was quiet struggling with the dreaded “L” word that likely hadn’t come out of Dean’s mouth since his mom died. “Dean, I love you.” he hummed in acknowledgement but didn’t return the phrase.

So you decided to mess with him, “I love you, I love you, I love you, I. LOVE. YOU!!” he squeezed you until the words were too strangled to make out,

“Alright alright!” he chuckled, “That’s enough! Now get some sleep, you don’t wear the Walking Dead look well.” but he kissed your head again as you snuggled in, completely content with the fact that Dean - well both Winchesters really - could never seem to get that one syllable out.

It would happen eventually. And when it did you would try your damnedest not to make a huge deal out of it.

Just before the both of you drifted off, you tilted your head back and craned your neck to push a soft little kiss onto his scratchy chin. Again he hummed, vibrating you with his deep register, and you snuggled in, using his bicep as a pillow of sorts.

Then in a whisper for the otherwise silent room to hear,

“I love you Dean.”

Chapter Text

“Let’s go kiddo up and at em’!” you groaned and rolled all the way over to the wall in Sam’s bed at the sound of Dean’s voice.

“No Dean, I’m tired. .” you so didn’t want to go to school today, after all of the weekend drama and riding across the state well into the night, you had absolutely no motivation to get up. None. Which is why after a half an hour of trying, Sam sent Dean into his room to wake you up himself. Dean was the iron fist it seemed.

“Come on, Sammy’s makin’ breakfast for you!” he yanked on the covers, “you know. . I haven’t shaved in a few days, don’t make me bring the hammer down.” at his words you immediately rolled up in the blanket, now covered and protected from his sharp face hairs.

“No! I barely have skin left on my cheek from the last time!” you whined beneath your cotton fortress, “Just let me sleep. . please? I’m so tired!”  

“No. Get up,” he was being stern, and you would bet your ass he had his arms crossed over his chest. “I’m not asking you again.”

“Dean. . .” you moaned, “I’m not getting up. . I won’t even be able to stay awake in class!”

“           . . .” he mimicked your grating whine,

“No.” and you closed your eyes and hugged the blankets around you, willing sleep to come back.

“I’ll give you coffee.” you pretended to gag loudly so he could hear,

“Dean, I’m too young for coffee. . Besides that crap you and Sam drink tastes like gasoline. .”

“Black coffee?” he sounded incredulous,

“Yeah that crap.” you agreed stubbornly.

Hearing Dean sigh only meant that he was done with your crap, and that spelled bad news - but they didn’t even let you get four hours of sleep. And after all the drama from the weekend grocery store mishap, you were ready to sleep for a year.  So no, you weren’t going. Ugh these guys are slave drivers. .

“Alright kid, you asked for it.” with only that as a warning, you were suddenly in the air. Dean hoisted you up from his bed with one arm holding you off of the ground, blanket and all, while you squealed and wriggled, trapped in the blanket cocoon. “I think a shower’s in order before breakfast, whatcha think?”

“Dean!” you wailed. You knew where this was going, and it wasn’t anywhere pleasant. Dean kicked open the bathroom door, keeping a firm hold on you so you didn’t take a clumsy tumble to the stone floor, and deposited you directly into the bathtub. By the time you untangled yourself from Sam’s comforter, he was already switching the water on,

“No!” too late. Freezing cold water shot out from the shower head and absolutely drenched you. Dean - the son of a bitch he was - was laughing to himself, already halfway out the door,

“Don’t be too long baby, wouldn’t want your eggs to get cold!” and the door slammed while you just sat there shivering and totally dumbfounded. I guess don’t fuck with Dean then. . . I feel like I should know that by now. At least the water was starting to warm up.

Standing, you pushed the soaked blanket as far back in the tub as it would go, and shed your matted down night clothes. You began to wash yourself grudgingly. That son of a bitch. . . throwing me in the cold shower - who does that?

A prolonged twenty minutes later, you were out of the shower and partially dressed, having thrown a dry pair of night shorts on in case the brothers decided to show mercy and let you stay home after all. With a glance to the soaking blanket still in the bathtub, you started to walk out only to have an idea spark in your head. . .

A juicy revenge idea. Because seriously, who throws a chick in a cold shower like that. . . freakin’ dick head. So you heaved the water weighted blanket out of the tub and headed for the kitchen with a smile on your face - dripping weapon in tow.

Rounding the final corner in the maze of hallways, you were pleased to find Dean sitting with his back to the hallway, just as you knew he would be. Just like he was every morning.

The only problem was that Sam - who was still munching happily on his spinach omelette - had full view of you, and being the well versed hunter he was, spotted you in an instant. With a loud plea in your eyes, you put a finger up and pursed lips in a silent message to keep his damn mouth shut. Sam didn’t even acknowledge you.

Instead he went straight back to his nauseatingly healthy omelette like no one was standing on the lip of the hall with a drenched comforter. Perfect. Game on. Tiptoeing as silently as possible, you watched Dean lean forward with a huff to set his empty coffee mug down and make like he was about to stand. Shit. You froze with wide eyes. . If he saw you, you’d be toast.

Soggy toast after he threw you back in the shower.

“Hey Dean hang on.” Sam’s eyes connected with your for a millisecond, touching Dean’s arm lightly. The green eyed man slowly sat back down, practically buzzing with confusion and curiosity,

“What is it Sammy?” it was hard to remind yourself he deserved the cold wet blanket treatment when he was being so nice to his big little brother.

“Uh,” Sam searched for something to say, “Um I just needed to tell you that -” as soon as you were close enough to execute the plan, Dean’s shoulders perked up like he sensed someone back there, but you hastily heaved the heavy blanket over him with a rather loud grunt only to immediately hop back several steps to avoid the chaos.

“S -shit!” he yelped, jerking in his chair at the sudden cold. The thing was so wet that when he ripped it down over his head, he was totally soaked. Breathless laughter was wheezing from your lungs, while Sam just quietly chuckled at Dean’s post-rainstorm look.

“Son of a bitch!” he yelled gruffly, standing to let the fabric pile drop to the stone with a splat. You were still laughing when he turned to you, but one look at the expression on his face shut you the Hell up. Oh fuck he’s pissed.

Instead of walking around his chair like a normal person would, Dean gripped the armrest and flipped the whole thing out of the way before marching at you with rage emanating from his large being.

“That was cute sweetheart.” he growled, prompting you to dart around him with a panicked squeal, straight for the still-seated Sam. Dean advanced still, and Sam offered no protection - instead he put his hands up and shook his head,

“Nope, don’t drag me into this one            .” still you edged around the youngest Winchester’s chair to keep it in between you and the fuming Dean.

“Don't be a coward, come on over here kid. .” the thing was, Dean was still drenched from head to toe and you couldn’t help but giggle at the big grumpy wet man - even if it was only making him angrier.

“Oh come on Dean!” you whined, stepping over Sam’s lap gingerly, intent on bolting for your room if you had to. “You freaking ‘League of Their Own’ed me! Who does that?! Well besides Tom Hanks I mean. .” he glared at you while Sam merely adjusted to you standing over his thighs by picking up his plate and eating from it pulled up against his chest.

“Sam move.” Dean growled, and to your horror Sam immediately stood up and got out of the way, even dragging his chair with him. Dean was zeroed in on you now,

“Sam!” you cried, backing into the table, “You traitor!”

“Hey, not my prank. Therefore, not my consequences.” that son of a-

“Ahh!” Dean rushed you, insisting his shoulder into your tummy and jostling you up onto his soaking shoulder with a roar, “No! Put me down!” you wailed in a bit of a panic.

“Shut it. You brought this on yourself kid.” instead of walking back toward the showers, Dean veered to the right, carrying you kicking and screaming into the kitchen where he made a beeline for the freezer.

“What are you doing?” you screamed, “Put me down dammit! I was just evening the score! Dean come on!”

“Guess you’re learning the hard way then sweet cheeks,” he mumbled with a clear smile in his voice, “There is no even score. I always win.” yanking a huge bag of ice out of the freezer the big man ripped it open with his teeth to dump it into the over-sized military kitchen sink. Oh. Shit.

“Sam!” you called for your only chance at rescue, but he didn’t answer, “SAM!” again nothing and Dean’s shoulder was bouncing with silent laughter. You redoubled your efforts to get off of his shoulder while he switched the cold water on and waited for it to fill,

“You keep slappin’ at me and I’ll make you sit in this for longer.” he warned like he wasn’t toting a thrashing teenager on his shoulder,

“Dean! Stop it!” he only chuckled,

“You ever heard that phrase, brains against brawn?” he pondered while the sink filled, “See I have both of those, and you, little miss, only have one - brains. . somewhat. If you wanna play with me, you’re gonna have to get a lot better at usin’ it sweetheart. Cause as it is, I win on all counts, every time, hands down. Easily.” you were fuming.

Stupid jerk and his stupid muscles and stupid testosterone. If I was a foot taller and weighed 100 more pounds, I’d really kick this guy’s ass. Maybe.

“Put me down you stupid jerk!” you thrashed more, and felt him shrug.

“I mean if you insist,” and then you were plopped down into the icy sink waters, scream tearing from your lips and all. Jesus it was so much colder than anticipated, and his hands stayed on your arms so there was no shot at jumping out,

“Oh - Oh f -fuck!” you cried, squirming and whimpering at the cold. Your theatrics - plus the fact that you’d just dropped the f-bomb - were only making Dean smile, “L-let me out - g-get me out of h-here!” your teeth were already chattering,

“No problem, you just gotta say one thing for me,” he smirked at your frantic look,

“Oh G-God - get me out! I’m d-dying! I th-think I’m dying!” he outright laughed at that, but leaned down a fraction to ask you,

“Who’s the man sweetheart?” you only stared at him. Stared at this overgrown manchild that was ice water torturing you before school,  “Go ahead, tell me. Then I’ll let ya out.” skin taught with goosebumps, and lips trembling (probably blue), you said with a sense of defeat,

“Y-you’re th-the man D-Dean. . .” he looked up at the ceiling with pursed lips, still gripping your arms firmly,

“Hmmm. . I don’t know, I’d say you’re enthusiasm was lacking. That’s alright, I’ll give you another shot.” you wiggled, gasping as the freezing water met new crevices at the movement,

“H-Holy shit,” it was involuntary with a breath, “Dean let me out! My lady bits are gonna fall off!” to your slight satisfaction the rugged man winced at your sentence. It was honestly the most crass thing you’d ever said to him.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, quit being so dramatic.” he grumbled, “Who’s the man?”

“You! You’re the man! Now let me out you son of a bitch, before my special place goes permanently numb!” you got a raised brow at that one,

“Special place?” when your teeth finally started chattering, he rolled his eyes and lifted you out of the water to set you dripping on the floor, hugging yourself for warmth.

“I d-didn’t want to s-say vag-”

“Nooo! Nope, no. . .” he waved his hands around with his eyes lightly closed, furrowing his brow at hearing that word almost breach your lips, “Nope, uh-uh. Don’t need to hear you finish that sentence kid.”

“See? So don’t make fun of me.” you managed to giggle in the first stage of hypothermia. Dean’s eyes were still closed fretfully, so you decided to take the opportunity he presented without a second thought.

In one fluid motion, you grabbed a big silver bowl from the counter beside you, dipped it into the ice water, and flung it directly into his face and chest. The man let out a yell for heaven to hear and staggered back a few steps as you hurriedly retreated from the kitchen, screaming,

“VAGINA, VAGINA, VAGINA!” for the whole bunker to hear, running past a totally baffled Sam Winchester, and skipping up the one step into the hall, you turned to see Dean at the door to the kitchen gaping at you.

“VAGINA!” you sang one last time, relishing the way both men winced, “I win dick heads.” then you whirled on your heel and waltzed off to your room like a boss. A soaked, shivering, immature boss. One thing was for sure, you were so getting Sam back for throwing you to the wolves. . or wolf rather.

Bastard.

~

When Dean pulled up to the curb, instead of your normal cheek kisses for a goodbye, you planted a big wet kiss on both hands and smacked the Winchesters in the face simultaneously,

“Love ya!” you laughed at their unhappy yells. Even with the door closed you heard Dean complain to his brother,

“But if I do that it’s somehow frowned upon?” you smirked to yourself,

“Oh this is just the beginning. . .” as you hopped up the steps into the building. For the first two classes, you recounted every prank you’d ever heard of in your life. . which honestly maxed out at toothpaste in Oreos and peanut butter on door handles.

Those were lame, but hell yeah would you throw them into the mix. Glancing to the front of the math class, you saw a group of large boys surrounding who you knew to be Blue Ashmore. Senior. Captain of the football team.

When your eyes lingered on him, he caught them giving you a wink and a lift of his fingers while his buddies chortled obliviously around him. Oh God I’m blushing. . Look away. And you awkwardly did just that. Without even smiling at him. Great.

“Hey newbie!” a boisterous blonde girl plopped in the seat beside you, startling you from your pranking thoughts.

“Umm. . hi?” you had no clue who this chick was, and after last week, a little wary of the people at this school. She looked at you with this huge smile that said ‘remember me??’,

“Gemma! I have like three classes with you!” you allowed a small smile in response to her contagious one.

“Hi. Sorry. I just can’t believe I wouldn’t remember someone as. . loud as you.” she busted up uninhibitedly, proving that statement ten fold, but you sort of giggled along with her. It felt nice to laugh at school.

“Damn, I thought you were gonna say sexy babe.” she winked and threw herself into another full body laughing fit while you sat there dumbstruck. Is. . am I being hit on? When the blonde recovered she noted your confused look and took pity,

“I swing both ways, but don’t worry, I just wanna be friends before we start scissoring.” the glint in her blue eyes told you she was joking about the scissoring part so you took the cue and laughed with her that time.

“Well, uh, good.” you chuckled,

“I saw you giving ole’ Blue over there the eyes. . he’s a looker ain’t he?” you scoffed,

“Who says looker anymore?”

“You should always say whatever you want - fight the power - be freeeee!” she sang, waving her arms in the air while leaning back in her desk, and you covered your mouth like it would quiet her down. Everyone in the room was looking at her, including Blue and you were likely resembling a cherry.

“Hey Blue,” she winked and blew him a kiss, which he returned almost immediately.

“Are you two dating?” you asked a little too urgently,

“No he’s just hilarious, we’ve been friends since I was in kindergarten me and him. He was a third grader, risque. .” she wiggled her brows and you shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant,

“So he’s single then. .?” despite having just met you, Gemma slapped you on the arm with a squeal,

“Oooh! You dog you!” then quieted down and leaned in nodding, “Yeah he’s single as fuck - hey whatcha got there?” suddenly the paper that you had been writing your prank ideas on was in her hands.

“Hey -”

“Toothpaste oreos. . peanut -” she dropped the paper with a huff, “are you trying to win an award for Lebanon’s most boring pranks?” you perked up,

“You know about pranking?” she sneered goodnaturedly,

“What kind of 15 year old are you?” but then again quietly, “You know who’s great at plotting pranks? Blue.” your belly fluttered as soon as the bell rung and Gemma put a finger over her mouth dramatically and slunk back in her chair, crumbling up your short list of pranks.

Gemma outright texted through the entire class, merely waving at the teacher and popping her wad of gum when he told her to stop. And when class was over she threw her arms around you in the hallway for a tight hug,

“See you last period newbie!” she sang, leaving you shocked once again. I kinda like her. . she’s. . weird. A tiny smile tugged at your mouth as you opened your locker,

“Hey short stuff, I’m lookin’ to help you out.” a deep voice sounded on the other side of your locker door, and you sighed hard, thinking it was some creep coming on to you.

“I’m not that short,” that was bullshit, but you slammed your locker for emphasis, “and I don’t -” Blue. Oh God I’m staring into the eyes of Blue Ashmore. He grinned,

“Actually you are short, and yeah, you want my help.” play it cool, play it cool.

“Oh yeah?” you leaned on your locker,

“Yeah, who’s your target?” you blinked,

“For what?”

“The pranking. I gotta know or it won’t be good.” you smiled a huge goofy smile,

“Um. .  they’re my. . uh brothers. They’re my brothers.” so much easier to explain. Blue nodded astutely,

“Alright come with me,” and without waiting for an answer, he was tugging you through the hallway by the strap of your backpack

“Hey whoa. .!” but you were giggling and he was laughing. Blue had distinct canines that reminded you a little of Dean, plus these pretty hazel brown eyes that were almost identical to Sams. . it made you feel safe with the boy for some reason, just having those little random traits. The boys locker room door came up on you out of nowhere, and he was headed right for them with you still in tow.

“Hey!” you jerked on him, “I can’t go in there!” he turned and cocked a tawny eyebrow at you. God he’s tall. . almost as tall as Dean. Then without a word he kept a hold on your backpack and began backing up into the swinging door,

“Blue!” you squealed, saying his name for the first time. You blushed, and he grinned like he noticed. Then all of a sudden you were in the locker room, smelling a weird mixture of sweat and cologne. Ugh.

“Cover up boys, we got a chicklet in our presence!” loud bumbling and rowdy yells echoed around the corner at the announcement,

“Chicklet?” you repeated, gazing up at the handsome boy,

“Yeah not quite a chick yet cause you're so little. Chicklet. It’s cute.”

“Oh.” you legitimately swayed a little like a shy little kid just before you were thrust into the chaos of the locker room. Skin. “AHH!” you screeched and slapped your hands over your eyes, earning roaring laughter that vibrated your eardrums.

“Jeez chicklet I know you're only a freshman, but calm down would ya - no one’s got their dicks out. Right fellas?” on cue a huge,

“YES CAPTAIN!” shook your internal organs. Holy mother. Peeking through your fingers, you forgot how to breathe when you saw just how many hulking men - not really boys anymore - were surrounding you. With no shirts.

They all observed the tiny freshman girl uncovering her eyes in the middle of them with huge wolfish grins plastered on their faces. Some wore jeans, while most wore towels. You stammered,

“D-don’t you guys have class?” more booming laughter at your shy voice. Blue took pity,

“All the Seniors skip class to get ready for practice, it’s tradition.” suddenly a huge beast of a boy, with a voice deep enough to match stepped out of the group toward you,

“Such a little girl. .” he patted your head and you batted at his meaty hand, hearing spaced out chuckles, and he leaned down from what must have been six foot ten, “Would you like to be my girlfriend little peach?”

“Uh. . I -” no one had ever asked you that before, and this wall of muscle made you clam up, instead of Blue coming to the rescue again, he folded his arms and watched you flounder. Everyone did. “Um. I’m new here?” the giant boy waited longer, “Uh. . not right now?” God why is it so hard to just say no? He straightened to tower over you again with a friendly smile on,

“I’ll check back in don’t you worry little peach.” you noticed how a few of the boys stifled laughs at the nickname, but before you could speculate any longer Blue was back at your side speaking up.

“Alright I need everyone’s lube. Hand it over.” your eyes went wide. Lube? Boys started digging through their bags,

“W-what for?” you looked up to Blue who’s hazel eyes snapped down at your nervous register, he opened his mouth but another big boy holding a bottle of lube casually, cut him off,

“Well this is a gangbang, weren’t you aware?” booming laughter again, and your gaze swivelled back up to Blue who was laughing hard too until he noted your legitimate worry,

“Whoa, tools for the prank chicklet. Tools for the prank. Nobody’s banging anyone Tony!” Tony put his hands up, chuckling,

“Alright alright, a guy can dream.” you exhaled a huge whooshing breath. Normally you would have taken the joke, but after this last weekend. . with the man in the alley, your wit about creepy jokes wasn’t as quick. It could just go south so fast. . but these guys seem nice. Your backpack was tugged gently from your shoulders as Blue dropped at least five significantly sized bottles of lube into it,

“You owe me Blue.” someone called, to which he nodded agreeably, seeming lost in thought, then he snapped his fingers,

“Someone still have that itching powder from last week? And I know one of you weird sons a bitches is carryin’ around super glue.” a couple of grunts later and Blue was catching two containers in the air,

“Alright.” then a fond sideways look to a heavy set boy who had to be a defensive lineman, “Gordo. . spare a canister of whipped cream for the cause?” what the. . Gordo huffed and slid his gym bag over to Blue who unzipped it and pulled three can's out of what looked like 10 of them. Holy shit. . “Gordo loves his whipped cream.” he explained and you nodded with your mouth open. I’ll say. .

“Alright boys, say goodbye to          , I’m sure she thinks you’re all a bunch of creeps.” A collective “bye         .” resonated through the cement room, followed by a few “call me”s some “come on back now”s and a “see you soon” .

You shook your head and followed Blue back out into the real world where people wore clothes and didn’t make so many sex jokes. Well besides Dean.

“Kay chicklet, ready for the run down?”

~~

“Ah I knew ole’ Blue would come through!” Gemma was walking out with you, her arm twined through yours. She clearly wanted to be best friends.

“Yeah he gave me all this stuff,” you bounced your backpack on your back, “and told me what to do with all of it. Plus, more pranks I can do with the stuff I have at home!” Gemma was grinning widely,

“You gotta tell me how it goes, I need this story in my life.” you nodded happily, wishing you could invite her over. . Sigh.

“Totally, you got it! I need to pay you back somehow for making this happen. . I mean Blue Ashmore knows my name! And - and he touched this arm!” you waved your arm around excitedly - apparently Gemma’s enthusiasm was rubbing off on you.

“Ahh!” she squealed along, “You are too cute! I know what you can do, how about you come over on Friday? Bring chocolate and any Meg Ryan movie - we’ll make it a lazy day, pj’s and all - how’s that?” you were relieved she asked you over,

“Sounds perfect!”

“Only down swing is I live right next to Erika Skye. Bleh. She’s a nasty little cunt, that one.” the information slapped you, when you thought back to that day in the office. Why do I want to check on her so much. .? You shook it off.

Then your earlier question popped back into your head, “Hey, I gotta ask you something. .” she perked up, “One of the guys called me a name, it probably means nothing, but um. . does “little peach” ring any gutter bells?” Gemma gasped, looking like she wanted to explode,

“Blue didn’t call you that did he?”

“No. . why?” you both pushed through the front doors,

“Because. .” she giggled into her hand, “when a guy eats a peach it looks a lot like - you know. .?” you stared at her blankly, “Like he’s eating something else?” still you stared, now just plain confused. Gemma’s shoulders sagged, “Jeez, sheltered much? Picture a man eating a peach, as sloppy and messy as can be, does it not look like he’s going down on a girl?”

“G-going down?” what the Hell was she talking about? At your question, Gemma stopped completely and you had to whirl to face her,

“Going down.” she repeated, watching you inquisitively. You shrugged with wide eyes and she screamed, “Sweetheart, when he calls you little peach it means he wants to eat you like a peach. And not in the storybook way.” your eyes bugged,

“You mean. .”

“Your pussy honey, he wants to eat your pussy.”

“Oh. . oh! Ew!” you shoved your new laughing friend away, “That’s gross!” she put her fingers up to her mouth in the shape of a V and wiggled her tongue through it. You gaped at her, totally shocked,

“Wants to eat it like a dripping, messy, juicy fucking peach.” she shrugged with a wink, “You’d love it.”

“I don’t know. .” your face was flaming,

“Oh believe me, your opinion will change when you try it. Or think about it at length, which I know you’ll be doing tonight. It’s inevitable.” you shook your head. Not in bed with Sam I won’t be. . Hopefully.

“I just can’t believe he said that to me. .” but a certain part of you, a part that you’d never known was there, was a little bit flattered. And. . something else. Gemma was about to fuck you up with more truth, when a familiar gruff voice shouted,

“Hey!” oh God you knew it was Dean before you even turned around. Gemma’s eyes bugged out of her head at the sight of him. Yep, that’s about right. Upon turning, you immediately spotted Dean marching fiercely toward you across the courtyard, brows knit together and bow legs appearing extra bowy from how worked up he was. '

Great. Please don’t cause a scene, please don’t cause a scene. .

“Didn’t I tell you to stay in the building until I -”

“Holy sex on a stick,” Gemma purred beside you, bringing Dean up short,

“Excuse me?” he cocked his head up high, looking down on her in a way that would have been intimidating if it wasn’t for the fact it was Gemma. She didn’t do intimidated. You’d only known her for 5 hours and that was clear already.

“You didn’t hear our conversation, did you?” you asked sort of panicked. How would he react to that?

“What conversation. .?” Dean eyed you suspiciously, and you sagged with relief, Gemma took his attention back easily,

“Mmm honey,” your face burned at her forwardness, but Dean’s face was relaxing the way it did when he had control of a situation. Which was every situation honestly. “I’ll be eighteen in three years, we should try starting a fire the old fashioned way. You know. . rubbing two things together until you get a intense spark.”

You stopped breathing and looked up to Dean hesitantly, floored to see that he was actually grinning widely at your new underaged friend’s blatant come on. Before Dean could respond however, she stepped forward and gripped the lapel of his jacket to give him a sharp tug and stand on her tiptoes, he still basically had to look at a downward 90 degree angle in order to watch her,

“Come to think of it, I’m feeling a little cold right now. Whatever you’re into though big boy, I don’t wanna push. . that’s your job after all.” he actually burst into laughter at that and Gemma joined in with her boisterous chime while you just gaped, mute with shock.

It was actually sort of impressive how confident she was. . and totally inappropriate in this situation of course. She dropped back down to her normal height and rejoined arms with you, still chuckling easily,

“Sorry sugar, talk to me after those three years.” his voice was gravelly with amusement,

“Dean!” you gave his tummy a little swat,

“What?” he griped, “I’m just kidding, you know you’re the only girl for me.” at that you busted up, covering your mouth while your face took on the shade of a cherry. Dean gave Gemma a wink that made her practically mewl and fidget beside you,

“Name’s Dean Winchester, I’m          ‘s uh. . . I’m her guardian I guess.” he offered his hand like a true gentleman and she eagerly took it,

“I’m horny - I mean - Gemma.” she said cooly, having slipped up on purpose, “My name’s Gemma. We’re two more classes away from being bffs, she loves me.” your mouth was hanging open and Dean’s grin was wider than ever.

“Well I’m glad to see my girl’s found such a pretty friend, looks like you do travel in packs.” then he leaned down to her level, still holding her hand, “You better hunt for someone your own age sweet cheeks, the woods are dangerous for a little girl like you yet. ‘Sides, I see a number of lucky candidates around here anyway.” Oh. My. God.

“Ah sigh, denied by the prettiest wolf in the forest. . Well it was worth a shot Mr. Green Eyes. .” Gemma sighed wantonly with a little pout, “Anyway           I’ll see you tomorrow!” then glancing at Dean with a raised brow, “Gotta go take a cold shower if you know what I mean.” you pinched the bridge of your nose and pushed her away, only then did she reluctantly released his hand.

“Yeah, yeah see you tomorrow you huge weirdo.” she giggled,

“Later newbie!” and skipped off toward the parking lot. Dean was still chuckling as he took your bag and slid it over his shoulder,

“Your new friends a peach,” he commented and you rolled your eyes with a groan. Oh God nope, nuh uh.

“Gross! Please Dean, no creepy innuendos about my friends.” a sharp laugh busted from his chest that was loud enough to draw eyes, but it didn’t bother Dean at all like it did you. He was used to being gawked at, comfortable with it even, while it just made your skin tighten.

“I honestly thought that one would be over your head sweetheart, but you can bet your ass that she’s gonna be latched onto you like a leech now. In a good way I mean.”

“I just found out what that meant today actually.” you sighed sarcastically, “Thank you for seducing me some friends, you cocky bastard.” he laughed with you, opening the passenger door for you to slide in,

“Ah it comes naturally,” then a pause, once he had your bag off of his shoulder, “wait what do you mean you found out today?” you took the opportunity to throw yourself into the passenger seat and close the door on him. As if he would forget he asked by the time he loaded your backpack and made it to the driver’s seat. He didn’t.

“Well?” he closed his door and looked at you,

“I mean, it’s not a big deal, one of the boys just nicknamed me uh. .” your face burned red, and you looked to your hands on your lap, “he nicknamed me little peach today.”

“Really.” it wasn’t a question, he threw the car in gear and pulled off the curb, “How’d that come about?” there was no way you were telling him the story of the ‘army of locker room shlongs’, so you tried to pacify,

“It’s fine, I don’t even like him like that - the dude is so big he might accidentally step on me if we ever went on a date - bigger than Sam!” he glanced at you,

“A date huh?”

“Dean. That’s not the guy I like it’s fine.” his green eyes flickered over to you,

“So you do like a guy then.” AHHHHHHHHHHH!

“No. Just - just drop it.” right on cue your phone buzzed in your hand and you tried to shove it into your jacket before Dean noticed, but it was snatched away with hunter’s speed. Dean read it aloud,

“Hey chicklet, did you execute the . . . plan yet. . .” oh fuck that sounds bad. “Tell Blue you’re not interested. Fuckin’ chicklet - stupid.” he tossed you the phone and you looked at his message, heating up inside,

“But. . but what if I am?” you whispered, gulping at the way Dean’s face darkened,

“You’re not. End of story.” so you decided to drop it. Not Blue though, no, you wanted him. . In this strange way that you never felt before. I just won’t tell Dean about it. However you did click on Sam’s icon picture - the great Yukon moose - and typed out a text,

Hey Sam. I like a boy. . :) and hit send. When your phone buzzed Dean growled beside you,

Alright, that’s great! Wait. . is this in the vault? you giggled and wrote,

Absolutely. Sam’s so awesome. About everything.

We’ll talk tomorrow, on my night. Yeah. Sam’s awesome. About everything. But then another came in,

And I want to know everything about him, his full name, age, and where he lives, who his friends are, all that. If I don’t like him it’s a no-go. And if he’s eighteen, it’s a HELL no-go. . you know what? Even if he’s seventeen and a half.

Okay so Sam’s awesome about some things. . you were beginning to think the Winchesters wouldn’t let you date. That would suck. Also Blue was eighteen. Ugh. . . Whatever, you’d worry about this a different day, you had some pranks to focus on for now. When you looked up from your phone, Dean’s eyes were narrowed on you while you were stopped at a red light,

“Sorry.” you mumbled and pocketed your phone. Please don’t ask for it, please don’t ask for it. . He didn’t, thank God, and actually seemed to lighten up on the way back to the Bunker. When he pulled your backpack out for you, he jiggled it in his grip,

“Your bags kinda heavy, got a lot of homework?” Alright, play it cool. My time to shine. . You lurched forward and snagged the bag away, stumbling a little when he let it go easily,

“Yep, tons!” and dashed to your room quick as lightning. Nailed it, for sure.

Once you made it the relative safety of your bedroom, you closed the door as much as it would go - having been broken last Friday - and emptied the contents of your backpack onto your unmade bed.

“Alright, show time.”

According to Blue, you have to lay out a prank war in phases. Always go for the lying in wait gags first, they can last all throughout the war and strike when the person least expects it. For some reason though, after you finished laying out all of your small scale pranks, you got nervous. .

What if they really get pissed at me? No. . no fuck it, I was submerged in Arctic waters this morning. The memory made you munch angrily on your sandwich,

“What the FUCK!?” Dean’s voice boomed from all the way in his room to the kitchen where you stood with a sandwich frozen halfway to your mouth. Did he already trigger a prank? Already?! Oh no. . I don’t think I’m prepared for this yet. .

“DEAN!” Sam roared from down in his room, and you giggled nervously from your spot in the kitchen. There was stomping, “Did you put fucking GLUE in my socks?” oh God here we go. .

“Don’t come in here Sammy, I’m naked and covered in lube!” Dean cried a little shrilly for a man of his stature. You were outright laughing now,

“Um. . what?” when you tiptoed to the hallway, and peeked around Dean’s bedroom door, you saw a boxer clad Sam lingering outside of his brothers bathroom with two socks halfway on his feet,

“You filled my fucking shampoo with lube! What the Hell man?! I’m fucking covered in the stuff!” your hand was cemented over your mouth as you watched these two practical Gorillas try to figure out the mystery,

“I didn’t do that!” and then Sam sort of laughed, “You’re covered in lube?”

“Shaddup Sammy,” Dean sulked from behind the door, “What, you got glue in your socks?”

“Yeah Dean! It’s super glue or something, it’s pulling at my short hairs and I can’t get it off!” there was chuckling from inside the bathroom and then, “hold on lemme dry off and I’ll help ya.”

“Also. .” Sam hesitated,

“What?”

“Did you happen to put itching powder in my top drawer again?” Sam sort of shifted funny and then thinking he was alone, outright scratched his balls over his boxers. You squealed. He heard you.

Oh crap.

“         ?” Dean came out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist, looking especially shiny on some places of his body. His hair was dark and dripping and the poor baby looked very confused. And then suddenly very not-confused,

“You little shit.” he growled and with a shrill scream you beat feet down the hallway back to your room with the broken lock. Instead of pursuing wet feet slapping on the concrete, you heard Sam cry out,

“Ow Dean! Not so hard - you gotta - ow!” he was pulling off the socks. Oh God it was starting to hurt, how hard you were laughing.

“Can it, I’m tryin’ to do it quick.” it was like Dean was trying to sound even more gruff to atone for having to de-sock his half naked brother in only a bath towel. It only made it funnier, “Quit squirmin’ around!”

“Would you - fuck! Would you slow down?!” Sam practically pled, “Ow! Shit!” more short gasps and pained grunts sounded before Dean practically roared,

“We’re comin’ for ya kid!”  

A lot of yelling and promise to get you back occurred over dinner that night, but honestly you were too busy laughing at Sam’s hairless feet and Dean’s polished skin to really care. However the three of you decided in some strange unspoken way, that it was unsafe to sleep anywhere but alone tonight which was fine.

You figured one night minus a Winchester would be manageable. . you hadn’t had a nightmare in weeks after all. If only you knew that the nightmare was going to start when you woke up.

Apparently, you had been sleeping so hard that you didn’t even stir when the brothers snuck into your room to do some late night rigging. Not even when Dean scrawled “pain in my ass” across your forehead, or when Sam filled your hair dryer with baking powder, because there you were standing with a powder white face after you scrubbed your forehead raw in the shower.

“Damn it!” you screamed after a moment of shocked silence. The marker Dean had used must’ve been heavy duty too because the lettering, while still faded, was readable. “Shit. .” you whimpered, rubbing at the sore skin gingerly under the cake of powder.

“Ugh. . .” you groaned, dropping the towel and stepping back into the shower. Within three minutes of re-washing your hair and face the bathroom door creaked open. You froze.

“S-Sam?” you murmured, “Dean?” instead of sneaking around and pretending like they weren’t there Sam spoke up,

“Hey           , enjoying your shower? Your second shower I mean. .” Chuckling. Even though there was a solid curtain obscuring their vision, you covered yourself at the sound of male voices in the bathroom.

“What are you doing in here?” you cried, “Get out!” Dean spoke next in a very calm fashion,

“Mmm naw. You see Sam and I are very good at what we do. And what we do is prank. . you so messed with the wrong guys baby.” you fidgeted,

“Get. Out.” it was growled through your teeth, they honestly had you in the most vulnerable position right now.

“Sure.” Sam said casually, “but let us give you a nice refreshing splash first.” and then there was what seemed like buckets of freezing cold water coming over the shower curtain rod. It was so much that it covered the whole expanse of the bathtub and there was no getting away from it,

“GUYS!” you screeched, fuming at their laughter. Only when it was finally over and you were shivering under the extra hot spray, did Dean speak,

“Oh it’s on, this is only the beginning.” Sam chimed in as the both waltzed out of the bathroom,

“This means war. . this means war. .” Damn. Straight.

After washing your face and cursing a certain pair of names about a hundred times, you trudged over to your dresser wearing nothing but your towel and a scowl, and pulled open the top drawer to fish for some panties.

The dresser was so tall that you couldn’t see over the lip so when you pulled out a pair of cotton underwear, you were totally surprised at what you found. Crotchless underwear. What the. . ?

Throwing the ruined underwear to the floor you reached for another only to find the same thing. Someone had cut the crotch out of your panties. Upon frantic digging through the whole drawer you soon found that it was in fact all of your panties. Crotchless. Ruined.

“SAM! DEAN!” you screamed only to hear chuckling just outside of your door, indicating that they had been lying in wait to see your reaction. “You bastards! Get in here!” instead of waiting, you threw open the door, clutching your towel in one hand, to come face to face (or chest to face rather) with both Winchesters.

Each had the shittiest of shit eating grins on their faces.

“You ruined all my underwear!” you screamed, only making it harder for them to hold in laughter.

“Guess your goin commando for a while babydoll,” Dean chuckled, “Unless crotchless panties are your thing.” a disgusted sound left your throat,

“Screw you Winchester.” he raised his eyebrows,

“Whoa Sam she used our last name, she must be pissed.” but his eyes were still alight with amusement, as if you were the equivalent of an angry kitten to them. That was probably accurate.

“I don’t think she’s seen the best part yet.” you snapped your glare up to Sam,

“What are you talking about.” it was a growl,

“Go look in the mirror real quick sweetheart,” Dean suggested casually, “pay special attention to your hair.” your face paled and you shot into the bathroom faster than you ever had before to frantically comb your hair around when you saw it. . Oh. . my. . fuc -

“OH MY GOD!” your eyes were zeroed in on the pure white streak cascading down the side of your head, “What did you do? Is this permanent?!” you fussed over it and pulled at it like it would disappear. Sam came to lean in the bathroom doorway,

“I don’t think it looks half bad, you should be thanking me for my straight line.” you turned on the big man with a look that sent worry flickering across his features. Your body was shaking in the bath towel,

“You. .” you stepped toward him and to your satisfaction he actually stepped back, “Son. . Of. . A. . BITCH!” and forgetting every ladylike trait your mother ever taught you, you attacked Sam in only a bath towel,

“Whoa!” he yelled when you collided with him, barely even registering that Dean was gaping in the doorway. You beat at his chest and shoved with all of your might, even trying to get a slap in on his face but when he raised his chin up, it was too high to reach,

“Whoa, calm down!” he gingerly tried to steady you without touching too much. Dean was laughing,

“This can’t be the first time this has happened to you Sammy!” and then you turned on him in the door, and his green eyes flashed with concern, “Crap.” he sort of squeaked and took off, Sam hastily followed suit once he saw you were distracted.

“I’m gonna get you guys so hard for this!” you cried after them. Only realizing your towel had slipped dangerously low after you anger had cooled a bit. Great. . .

Later in the day, you found yourself in Dean’s room talking to yourself like a bitter old man.

“This means war. .  damn straight it mean’s war. Bastard’s ruined all my good underwear. .” you were grumbling as you worked, spraying can after can of whipped cream under the top sheet of Dean’s bed.

You’d already done Sam’s. This was perfect, since you didn’t feel safe sleeping with either Winchester during the war anyway, they would each discover this nasty little prank just as they were relaxing for the night. Ha.

“          , what are you doing?”

“Shit!” you whirled, relieved to see your trenchcoated Angel. “Oh God Cas. . . you scared me!” it was yell whispered,

“Why are you whispering,” he leaned forward and whispered back. God this guy. With one last helping of white fluff to the bed sheets, you covered it back up and beckoned Cas to follow you from the room.

“I’m pranking Sam and Dean - look what they did to my hair!” you held out the white strand and he squinted at it,

“I don’t think it looks b-”

“No shut up. It was too far. . I need to come up with something good.” you tapped your foot under the Angel’s scrutiny,

“No I really think it suits you. The white is shocking with your naturally (h/c) hair, it’s pleasing to the eye.” you stared at him, floored at how sincere he looked,

“Oh um. . thanks Cas.” he nodded. Honestly the streak of white was growing on you a little, it looked sort of cool and edgy. Besides Lord knows it wasn’t the worst thing that the brothers could have done.

“I came to check on you,” he stepped forward, “are you still doing alright after last night?” you gulped, a little upset at having to think about it right now.

“Yeah, I mean he didn’t get me - thanks to you.” you whispered the last part, “I don’t think I actually properly thanked you for saving me. My life probably. . my virginity definitely.” while that statement would have made a normal man fidget, Cas didn’t even blink.

It was only fact to him, nothing else.

“Of course,” he nodded, “nothing bad will ever happen to you as long as I’m around to stop it. You can count on that.” if anything I’ll count on that. . You smiled genuinely, feeling an odd sense of warm at the fact that you had an actual guardian Angel. Of course the moment you weren’t even thinking of pranking, genius struck,

“The Impala.” you breathed, and Castiel's eyes went a little wide,

“What -”

“The prank war Cas. The Impala! It’s perfect.” the wheels were turning,

“I don’t advise anything that has to do with Dean’s car -”

“No. You don’t have to advise it. Just help me with it - I need your magic.” his brow furrowed,

“It’s not necessarily magic as much as -”

“Cas!” he came to attention, “Please. This might be the best prank that the world has ever seen. .” he still didn’t seem inclined. Why would he? So as a last ditch attempt, you pulled out your best innocent little girl persona. Your lip jutted out and you clasped your hands in front of you. . even rubbing the toe of your shoe into the ground while making wide soleful eyes at the Angel.

“Please. . stop doing that.” he told you,

“Cas. . . I just wanna have a little fun, don’t you wanna hang out with me?” he blinked, looking thoroughly confused, “I thought you liked me. . Do you not? It’ll be fun. .”

“If I help you, will you stop this bizarre age regression? It’s highly uncomfortable.” you grinned. Okay so it worked, who cares how?

“Deal!” and you grabbed the sleeve of his tan coat, “Come on!” first stop was the kitchen where you threw the freezer open to steal a pretty hefty salmon fillet.

“What’s that -”

“Shh!” you hushed the Angel and tugged him out of the kitchen, looking around rather frantically for either long haired or short haired giant. Then holding Castiel by the sleeve, you sprinted hard to the garage, just praying neither brother would catch you in the act. . Cas totally wouldn’t have your back.

The run to the garage was long, and about halfway there you were panting like the out of shape pie lover you were, while Cas appeared to not even be breathing.

“Do you need to stop for a moment?” he grumbled beside you, and you ignored him, practically praising Jesus when you saw the garage door ahead. The two of you crashed through them and you shoved Cas forward before turning around and locking the doors.

“Okay. .” you panted, “Alright let’s do this.”

~~~

“           !” you heard the guttural battle cry from your seat in the war room, and looked up from your math book to see Sam staring at you from across the table with the widest hazel eyes you’d ever seen.

“YOU DID NOT TOUCH BABY!” either his voice was getting closer, or he was getting louder. A door slammed down the hall and it startled both you and Sam oddly enough. “WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” Sam’s nostrils were flared and his gaze was glued on the hallway that Dean was probably going to enter from. He spoke,

“           -”

“DON’T YOU HIDE FROM ME KID! I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!” Sam’s expression told you that you were as pale as you looked.

“I. . .” you voice shook a little, “I might’ve gone too far. .” Sam looked freaked, and it wasn’t doing anything for your confidence,

“The Impala?” he asked gravely, and at your nod his face sank with dread, “you need to hide somewhere right now.” he told you in a dire tone, standing up from his chair. Both of you could hear Dean growling and panting like an angry bull as he scoured the Bunker for you.

Oh God I’m dead. . When you stayed frozen, Sam rushed around the table and pulled you from your chair, “Hey, go hide somewhere right now. . until he cools off!” he yell whispered urgently and you had to nod,

“O-okay. .” then he cocked his head,

“What did you do?” just before you opened your mouth Dean’s voice boomed,

“There you are!” and you screamed before you even turned around. There’s no way Dean could have ever looked more angry, unless he was foaming at the mouth. The guy was shaking and breathing hard. . his hands were clenched into fists at his sides, his shoulders stiff and high. . but his face. Oh God Dean’s face was the picture of rage.

Nothing like the day you accidentally cut the seat, nothing like when he drug you on a hunt, no. . he was looking at you like he really wanted to kill you. Possibly the way he looks at a vampire before he chops it’s head off.

Maybe worse than that. So of course instead of trying to talk him down you took off, you bolted for the other hallway entrance like a goddamned coward. It was practically a straight shot to the garage, but there were a lot of hiding places in there.

“Hey!” Dean was roaring some kind of threat as you sprinted for dear life. It was a miracle that you made it inside the garage before he caught you - a freaking miracle. Locking the door would have only wasted precious time, so instead you made for the stacks of wooden boxes on the far side of the room.

Some of them were empty, you knew that from exploring, and if you could get to one in the back of the pile, Dean would have a hell of a time getting you out.

“The garage huh? Bad choice sweetheart,” he snarled just outside of the door, “they always say criminals can’t stay away from there work. . .” oh you hated when his voice got low and dangerous like that. It was almost worse than his yelling.

You dropped to your knees and wiggled under a couple of overturned ones to get to the back, it was like a maze that you had to crawl through. There was no way Dean could follow you back there, what with his size and all. . it was like a kitten hiding from a rabid dog.

“Dean - just take a little bit to cool off it probably isn’t even that bad -” the door opened noisily, “Oh Holy shit.” Sam finished. Yeah it was overboard.

“She painted it pink?” that was Sam again,

“Hot pink. She - she - fuck. .” he was getting worked up again seeing your work, “Get the fuck out here, don’t make me tear this garage apart!” you had made it to the final crate, buried in the back and tipped to it’s side. . had this been any other situation you would have been stoked about what a sweet fort this would make.

Now though, you just wanted protection. Dean couldn’t get to you in here, you were buried too deep and the crawl space was way too tight for him. Sam could be heard jerking on the door handles,

“It’s locked?”

“Yeah,” Dean growled, “I can’t even get into it with the spares, she screwed up the locks somehow.” okay so maybe you were a coward, but your brain was practically flooded with panic and it took the only way out it could think of.

“Cas did it! It was Castiel’s idea!” you screamed from your hiding spot.

“What?” he snarled and stomped over to the mess of crates, “Where are you?” you swallowed,

“I’m not coming out from under here. . .” you informed him, “but - but Cas used his mojo to paint the car and - and -”

“And what kid, quit stuttering.” oh man he’s so mad. . .

“And he switched the locks. It’s supposed to last for a week. .” silence. You winced.

“A week.” it wasn’t a question so you didn’t answer, “And why would he do that?”

“Um. . . He - he,” oh no there was no way Dean was gonna buy this part, “He put a salmon fillet under you seat?” yep I’m a giant coward.

“Cas. . put a salmon in my car, and painted it pink.” he repeated, “All by himself.” you gulped at how dead calm he sounded,

“Yes?” suddenly your whole body was smashed up against the side of your crate, “Ahh!” you twisted your face with some effort to find Castiel himself, smashed up in the little crate with you.

“You’ve betrayed me.” he glared, looking downright hilarious all smashed in next to you with his chin resting on his knees. He was way to big for this box.

“Cas?” Dean called, but went unanswered,

“You’re sucking out all of the air in here!” you hissed, trying to adjust next to him,

“You. Betrayed me.” he repeated a little more hostile,

“Well - well you’re an Angel of the Lord, Dean can’t murder you!” Dean scoffed on the outside of the crate pile,

“The Hell I can’t!” Castiel’s blue eyes narrowed at you and he raised a hand with his fingers poised to snap. Your eyes widened,

“Castiel,” because now he was acting like Castiel, not like Cas, “Whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t. Please.” then without another word, the fingers rubbed sharply together and in one tiny sound, the crates vanished, leaving you sitting in the now-spotless corner of the garage. Totally exposed.

“Shit.” Castiel was now standing beside Sam and Dean,

“She assured me it would be funny, I see now that I’ve been manipulated.” Dean appraised his trench coated friend while Sam just stared at you with a slightly hanging jaw.

“Yeah she has a tenancy to do that to people.” Dean’s gaze was on you, and it made you swallow hard,

“Dean -”

“No.” he held up a hand, “Do have any idea how much I want to kick your ass right now?” you stayed quiet, “Do you know how infuriating it is that I can’t?” still when he stomped toward you, your whole body stiffened,

“What - what are you gonna do?” you made a conscious effort not to struggle when he hoisted you up by the collar of your shirt. As if it would set him to attack or something.

“I mean. . I could put you over my knee. .” you paled,

"N -" Dean held up his hand to prevent you from screaming "no".

“But, I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.” he leaned in, and you shied away into the stone corner, “I’m too mad.” it was a rough whisper. “So,” suddenly the big man grabbed a pinch of skin on your belly and squeezed until you yelped. Your hand flew over you mouth.

“If I can’t hit ya, and I can’t beat ya, I’m gonna have to get creative.” your eyes flew to Sam and Cas, but you found no reprieve there. Again Dean pinched a significant amount of flesh between his fingers,

“Ow!” you batted at him, and he slammed your wrists to the wall above you with one hand,

“No. This is your punishment.” he snarled and twisted another spot on your torso,

“A-ah! Dean stop!” he didn’t. The man mercilessly pinched, pulled, and twisted skin all over your middle with his thumb and forefinger, until you felt like you might actually cry.

The way Sam and Cas seemed to be stifling smiles told you that the show of “ruthless Hunter Dean Winchester”, violently pinching a girl over and over to get his anger out, looked pretty hilarious.  

“Dean! Dean okay I’m sorry!” you squealed, after what had to be the 25th pinch,

“You’re sorry?” he didn’t relent and you actually screamed when he snagged a particularly sensitive spot under your armpit, “Sorry that we have to drive Sam’s shitty charger for a week?”

“Hey!” Sam barked,

“Sorry that my Baby’s gonna smell like rotting fish for a month?” he pinched extra hard at that one,

“Y-yes! I’m sorry for the whole thing!” Dean dropped his assaulting hand, but held you pinned by your wrists. He shifted to speak right into your cherry red face,

“You know that even seeing her in fucking hot pink,” he spat the words like poison, “makes me wanna blow chunks? I can’t even tell you how lucky you are that this is all you’re getting. . Hell, I might have to do this every day until she’s black again.”

“No!” you squirmed and he leaned even closer,

“How many times do you gotta fuck up before you realize,” his voice was so low and the harsh words made your eyes water, “you don’t mess with the car. She’s off limits.”

“I’m sorry!” you repeated desperately, hating more than anything the feeling that came with Dean being mad at you. He gave one more agonizing pinch that made you scream before pulling up your shirt,

“Hey!” you cried wriggling around wildly. Dean was scanning your torso openly, taking in the damage which consisted of scattered red welts on the spots where he accidentally squeezed to hard.

“Hm, not so bad considering.” he mulled and dropped the fabric back into place, “You got off easy girl, remember that. Next time it won’t be pinchin’.” did that mean he would ‘put you over his knee’ like he said? You were not gonna find out. No way.

“Dean. . I really am sorry.” and finally his face softened a little and he offered a tiny smile,

“S’okay, you know I can’t stay pissed at you for very long sweetheart. .” he leaned forward to kiss your forehead, it was lingering and very sweet. When he pulled back he looked totally antagonized, “Just give me a little bit though. This one hurt.”

You nodded, just happy that he wasn’t fuming anymore. Dean finally released your arms, and gave you a fond head pat before turning away to stalk out of the garage, it was so obvious that he was making a point not to look at his car.

Sam approached you as you skimmed your hands over your belly and sides, wincing at the sores there. He looked pathetic, just before he patted you roughly on the shoulder and repeated his brother’s words,

“You got off easy.” he laughed at your deadpan expression, “Seriously, once I spilled my smoothie in the car and we wrecked a motel room hashing that out. Almost broke my nose.” you winced at the image.

“I hope I never see you two fight.” you mumbled, still fussing over your abused body,

“It’s not pretty.” he agreed, “Hey though. . I think you may have just pulled the best prank in the history of pranks.”

“Sure doesn’t feel like it.” you complained, finally moving over to the car in question,

“Oh yeah, you’ll be able to bask in the glory after this all blows over.” he insisted and you finally found it in you to smile a little,

“He pinched me.” Sam barked a laugh and you joined in,

“He pinched you.” he agreed, chuckling, “That might have been the funniest form of punishment I’ve ever seen. I’m just glad he was able to channel his anger in a semi non-violent way.” you scoffed,

“Non-violent?” it was shrill, “That shit hurts!” the amount of humor Sam was finding in your agony was almost infuriating. Almost. But honestly, you knew you deserved it.

“So. . is the prank war over?” Sam asked casually, your thoughts immediately went to the whipped cream in their beds, the Oreos in the freezer, and the eggs still sitting on the ceiling fans, but you decided not to mention it.

“Well. . Cas threw me under the bus. .” you looked around to make sure the Angel wasn’t listening nearby. Sam raised a brow,

“Yeah?” he seemed interested,

“Any idea how to prank an Angel?” Sam barked a laugh as you passed into the hallway,

“You’re a junkie.” he commented, “But yeah, I do.”

“Perfect.”

You clutched the Holy oil in your hands and stood inside the huge circle you made, just as Sam instructed before he took off.

The youngest Winchester gave you a bowl filled with various leaves and herbs, drew a sort of creepy circular symbol with spray paint on the gravel road outside, placed four candles in quadrants on the circle, then strategically set down a few other objects that you didn’t recognize, all before handing you a pack of matches and hauling ass back into the Bunker.

You hugged the stone container to your chest, feeling sort of a heavyweight in the air at all of the magical objects Sam left you with. Is this a bad idea? You shook your head, not even taking the time to recount your earlier lesson with Dean in going too far with pranks.

So with one last deep breath, you stepped slightly out of the circle, struck a match and dropped it into the ceramic bowl full of herbs. Castiel’s beating wings sounded almost immediately and you whirled around to find him standing in the invisible holy oil circle looking rather annoyed.

“You realize that yourself and the Winchesters merely have to pray to me and I’ll come right? There is no need to summon.” then his sharp blues flitted to the container of holy oil, “What do you have?” in one intensely quick motion, you struck a match and flung it down to the line of oil, causing it to erupt in high flames around both you and Castiel.

He stared at you.

“What is this?” he grumbled with the beginnings of anger,

“Payback.” you stood on the very edge of the circle in case he made a grab,

“For?” he looked like he was readying for battle,

“For standing there and laughing while Dean tortured me,” he cocked his head, and a ghost of a smile at the memory lit his lips,

“He. . pinched you. That’s hardly torture.” then he glanced around his surroundings with squinted eyes, and you literally watched a thought strike him,

“How did you know the summoning ritual?” you sputtered under his gaze and were too busy looking around the sad front yard for an answer that you didn’t see him come a few feet closer. “Dean would not ally you after what happened to his car. . so it would have to be Sam. Did he help you trap me?” you didn’t answer, but he ‘hmmed’ like he already knew it for fact so you didn’t bother.

“How long should I leave you in here?” you gave him a cocky grin that he seemed unfazed by,

“The Holy oil should only sustain the flames for another 45 minutes or so, unless Sam or Dean decides to put out the flames. . However you are going to have a much bigger problem than I.” your brow furrowed and you shied back from him a little,

“What are you talking about?” he gave a little smile and promptly tapped you on the forehead with two fingers. A little shock snapped through your body and you yelped, just barely managing to hang on to the Holy Oil. “What the Hell was that?!” you cried, finally gathering your wits and hopping out of the circle,

“I believe I’ve gotten the hang of this “pranking” humans seem to enjoy so much.” you tried out a scoff,

“That wasn’t a prank Cas, you shocked me!” he huffed a little laugh through his nose and told you.

“Oh, I think you’ll be much more shocked when you look in the mirror tomorrow morning.” the circle was already dying down significantly and you began to wonder if your prank was worth whatever mojo Castiel just pulled on you. Great.

“See you tomorrow kitten.” you whirled around with a gaping expression of shock,

“What’d you just call me?” but all you got was a blue eyed stare down, the Angel looked sinister in the fire light, and you backed into the Bunker door, realizing you’d messed with the wrong player in this game.

Loud male screaming was what you were greeted with upon descending the spiral steps to the main floor. Loud male Sam screaming. What the Hell . .

“Sam?” you called, setting down the Holy oil and breaking into a slow jog toward the noise. You met Dean in one of the hallway intersections first and he looked just about frantic,

“You seen Sam?” you asked immediately,

“No I just heard him yell,” now you were worried, “what’s going on?” Dean was just about to snap an answer when another round of terrified yelling sounded down the corridor to your right. Both you and Dean glanced at each other before taking off in the direction of the distressed sounds at top speed, and even though that left you far behind Dean he turned back for a moment to tell you,

“Stay behind me,” when you got to the corner of the bedroom hall. You nodded, trying not to breath so hard.

“Sammy?” Dean called gruffly,

“Dean!” the cry sounded nothing like the badass giant you had come to know, and it made your skin prickle,

“Sam?” you called, getting a warning hand from Dean along with a sharp shake of his head. Be quiet.

“They're - they're everywhere!” Sam’s strained voice again for around the corner. The Hunter before you, reached back and yanked a handgun from the back of his jeans and whipped around the corner like a trained professional. You peeked out next to him.

Sam was standing outside of his room with his hands on the top of his head, breathing frantically and pacing, all while keeping his wide horrified eyes on his open bedroom door.

“Sam!” Dean hollered, only drawing his little brothers attention for a moment before it was back on his bedroom,

“Who - who. .” he breathed, “They’re everywhere!” finally you couldn’t handle it anymore and broke past Dean to get to Sam,

“Hey!” Dean barked, and you felt the air his hand made on the back of your neck at the failed grab, “Shit.” he spat and hauled ass after you. Sam’s hand snapped out and grabbed frantically at you as soon as he had you at arm's length, pointing into his room like a frightened little boy.

And there. . in Sam’s bedroom. . . was a whole army of. . . clowns. Stuffed clowns. Clowns in different sizes, with different face expressions, some standing, some sitting, but all clowns and all over his room. Everywhere, just like he said.

“Wha. . .” you squinted, “Clowns. .?”

“Who did this?!” he fretted, taking a step back from the room to shake his body out with a huge whooshing exhale. Dean was at your side then, gaping at first, then smiling, then laughing.

“What -” he cracked up and leaned on your for support, “Who did this? Was this you kiddo?” Sam looked at you with betrayal and horror on his face,

“No! No way, where would I get that many clowns - I was outside with Casti -” your thoughts came to a screeching halt. “Oh my God. Cas did this!” you cried, finally busting up yourself. I guess he really does understand pranks.

“Why?” Sam looked like a kicked puppy,

“He figured out that you helped me with the summoning spell - this is him tagging you back.” Sam groaned and averted his eyes from the permanently cheery clowns.

“Sam. . Sam. .” Dean was wheezing and using you as a human leaning post, “J-just go in there and clear em’ out. We can put em’ in the burn pile.” Sam just stared at his brother for a moment,

“I’m not touching those.” he said evenly like it was the most reasonable thing in the world,

“Oh come on!” Dean laughed, “They’re stuffed! They can’t get you. . what the Hell happened with you and clowns man?” he was still laughing as he released you and waltzed into the room to grab a clown. He turned and shook it at Sam,

“Dean.” Sam backed up a step,

“This is what you’re afraid of?” he taunted stepping out of the room with the happy clown extended, “This little guy? He just wants to cuddle.”

“Dean, I’m warning you. .” but Sam was backing up, “Get away from me with that thing. .” quite contrary to his brothers request, Dean lunged at Sam with the most evil grin on his face, and to your increasing shock the big man turned tail and ran. Legitimately took off down the hall with a little yell in a full blown sprint.

Dean of course followed,

“Come back here Sammy, give him a little kiss!” you just stared after them in shock. Two full grown men were chasing each other around the Bunker - one laughing like an idiot, and one screaming like a girl. Something told you that the boys didn’t get moments like this often enough, but you were so grateful that you got to be with them when they did.

Lately you had been trying to grab on to the little things, little moments that you would have missed if it wasn’t for the tragic fire that took your first life. And seeing Dean chase his full grown little brother around the Bunker with a plush clown was definitely one of them,

“Stop it!” Sam turned the corner back into the hall and was sprinting at you with a wild look of terror on his face. You laughed. Dean was barreling down the hall close behind and you stepped up against the wall to make room for the two giants.

“          !” he whipped his head back to look at his older brother, his brown hair fluttered and flew around in the wind from how fast he was going, “        , make him stop!” and he passed you in a flurry. Dean however, slowed down and came to a stop when he got to you.

He let out a whooshing breath, but that was all the harder he was breathing. . it reminded you of their promise to train you for P.E. Ugh. The man child shook the clown at you watching your reaction with these big green gleaming eyes that made him look 30 years younger - like a little boy again.

“You scared of the big bad clown too?” he chided in a higher taunting register,

“No it’s just a stupid stuffed toy,” you giggled pushing it away when Dean pressed it up against your face, “Dean! Knock it off!” but you were laughing,

“Are you sure. . ?” he persisted, “He’s pretty scary. .” Dean was laughing with you as he hedged in closer with the toy, and after a moment of watching you wrestle it around, he stepped in and pulled you into a tight hug. The clown was squished between you.

“Oh Dean don’t get all gushy on me. .” you pretended to complain but squeezed him back,

“Shut up. .” his voice was muffled by his cheek smushed on the top of your head, “M’just. . real happy.” he mumbled swaying with you just a little bit. You giggled,

“Why? Cause you get to chase your brother around for the first time in like 20 years?” he chuckled, vibrating the clown,

“Partly,” he admitted, “but mostly cause you’re here.” you pulled away and Dean let the clown drop to look at you,

“Really?” you asked maybe a little too hopefully and he just smiled softly in this knowing way, that told you he thought you're insecurities were silly - but that he understood them. It was a nice smile to say the least.

“Really. I can’t even tell you how long it’s been since I was this happy. . taking you to school everyday, helping with homework, cooking regular meals. . It’s - I needed this, more than I ever thought.” his words gave you a bittersweet feeling, because they made you wonder where the brothers were before you came along. Before you could say anything he added,

“Sam too, I don’t think I’ve seen him so alive in years. . It was heavy before we found you, and honestly bringing you along wasn’t an idea that I was too keen on, but he insisted. He saw how much we needed you long before I did.”

“Oh God Dean. . you’re making my eyes water.” you blinked rapidly, “I’ll never be able to tell you how grateful I am that you decided to let me stay. . I can’t put it into words, but my life would be a lot different - for the worse - if you hadn’t. Who knows? I could be dead in a ditch right now from an OD I stole from my pimp.” Dean winced, and shook his head harshly like he was trying to throw the image out,

“I guess we saved each other then.” he finally told you, “I swear, at this point I’m even missin’ ya when you go to school and worryin’ about how people are treating you in there. . Sam talks about you all the time when you’re gone - it’s. . we just adore the shit outta ya sweetheart.”

You leaned back into his chest and he hummed low, making you smile since you knew he was only doing it because you told him once that it calmed you down. It was the truth though, the low vibrations on your cheek relaxed you into him, and you mumbled,

“You don’t help with homework. . we just get frustrated together and then binge Netflix.” his laugh bounced your head,

“Sorry about the pinching. .” he muttered, cradling the back of your head against his chest,

“S’okay, I deserved it. Pink was too far.” he grunted,

“Damn straight.”

“No more pranks?” you asked hopefully, yawning with how comfy you were standing with Dean in the hall,

“Yeah we better stop before someone gets hurt.” he agreed, catching your yawn and showing off his pronounced canines. Then all of a sudden Sam’s voice sounded from around the corner,

“          ?” he called softly,

“Uh, yeah?”

“Is Dean still there?” it was hesitant,

“Yeah.”

“With. . with the clown?” you giggled,

“Yeah Sam, don’t worry I won’t let him get you.” he peeked around the corner, visibly wincing at the fallen plushy.

“Can you um. .” he hesitated, and finally stepped out into the hall fully. “Can you help me clean out my room?” Dean snorted,

“Oh for the love of -” then he sighed, taking pity on his very much baby brother right now, “Don’t worry about it Sam, Tiny and I will clear out the clowns. You go make dinner or something.” you raised a brow and detached,

“Tiny?” you asked,

“New nickname, you like it?” he grinned,

“No.” you crossed your arms, hating how accurate the name was,

“Good. That’s what a nickname is all about.” he chirped, “How about it Sammy? Steak and potatoes sound good.” Sam nodded, looking immensely grateful at the fact he wouldn’t be having to touch any clowns tonight and crossed the hall to grab you for a hug.

“No more pranks.” he demanded,

“It’s already been decided,” you laughed and then remembered something, “Cas zapped me with something though and told me I would be shocked when I woke up. . and then he called me kitten.” Dean smirked and Sam pulled back,

“Sounds kinky.”

“Shut up Dean!” you slapped his chest while both men laughed.

What the Hell have I gotten myself into now. .?

Chapter Text

Your throat burned from the cold winter air sawing in and out of your lungs as you ran. . ran for your life.

An empty dying field would serve as your resting place if you couldn’t push on, if you couldn’t make your legs go fast enough. Pursuing feet padded after you through the brittle grass and spurred you on - your attacker had been chasing you for the better part of an hour - ever since he’d seen you outside of the grocery store.

If only I hadn’t gotten offended by Dean’s teasing and stormed off to the car. Stupid. Casting a wild glance back, you let out a breathless scream at the sight of two more assailants.

He had friends and they looked just as murderous as the first - foaming at the mouth, panting harshly, and letting out howls fit for a tingling spine.

“Go home!” you screeched desperately, hating how close your attackers were getting. Whirling back forward, you focused on nothing but speed, praying to God you wouldn’t trip and be torn apart limb from limb by these four legged Hell beasts.

A tree caught your eye in the distance, standing alone and tall in the vast field of yellowing vegetation, and you tore out for it, panting and shrieking much like the dogs behind you. Fucking dogs. I’m being chased by a pack of dogs.

The tree came up fast, and with your momentum you were able to fling yourself up the trunk onto the lowest branch where you immediately stood up with uncharacteristic balance and reached up for the next one. Not before your canine friends crashed into the base of the tree with such force the whole thing seemed to sway,

“Shit!” you cried, latching onto the thick trunk and holding on for dear life while a Pitbull, a German Sheppard, and a fucking Chihuahua bounced on their hind legs to snap at the air. Your tail curled up around your waist to keep out of biting distance, and you began tearing twigs from overhead to hurl down at them,

“Bad dogs! Stay back!” but they didn’t pay any mind to the very human voice commanding them - they were out for your blood.

You took your shoes off and chucked them down at the savage canines, uncovering your new anti-possession tattoo, it was glaring up from the side of your heel.

Snarling and barking filled your ears and made you forget composure, made you forget that up in the tree they couldn’t get you, so you just started wailing this high pitched horrid sound as the tree shook from the mutts’ impact on it.

The visceral growling coupled with your high pitched screams made it easy to miss the calling of your name from afar, and only when Dean walked deliberately into view, did you finally notice he was there. With anti-allergen in his hand and a big fucking smile on his face.

“Dean! Don’t come near them, they’re rabid!” you cried clutching the center of the tree with all of your might while he just strolled closer, “Save yourself, I don’t want to be responsible for your death - get out of here before they see you!”

Dean’s laughter was almost overpowering the barking and snarling, and you were horrified that he was just going to walk into the middle of the melee,

“No! What are you -” your warning faltered when the big man patted the Pitbull on it’s ass and got it’s attention, it immediately stopped barking and took up wagging it’s tail at the bent over pleased looking man.

“Whatcha got boy?” Dean spoke they way one might speak to baby, “Did somebody find a helpless little kitty cat? Huh? Is that what you did?” you swore the beast was nodding at him, as Dean scratched it behind the ear before moving over to show some love to the German Shepherd.

“Good girl. . yes, that’s a good girl,” he praised generously, and then took one look at the tiny Chihuahua and stood up straight with a perplexed frown,

“Now just what the Hell are you?” it yipped and hopped around at his feet before the big man gingerly squatted to awkwardly stroke the rat dog with a borderline disgusted expression.

The dogs seemed overjoyed that a human was there to witness their bounty, all tongues and grins as Dean waltzed up to your tree - his eyes were level with the branch you perched on.

“Ya know. .” he grinned, “if you were a raccoon and I was a redneck, this whole thing would play out differently.” you glowered,

“If you were a redneck and literally nothing else was different, this whole thing would still play out differently.” he grimaced and you sneered, “Yeah I saw Deliverance.” his expression morphed into one of mischief and you mentally braced for whatever line was about to be crossed,

“Well you do have a pretty mouth. .” you glared until his stupid smile faded into a pursed frown of disdain, “I’m hilarious - you know what, fuck it - get down here.” you regarded him like he was insane,

“You're kidding.” he stared, “There’s a sea of rabies down there! No way am I coming down. Nope. Nuh-uh.” the roll of his greens indicated that his non-existent patience was wearing thin,

“The dogs care more about listening to me than eating you, so just come on down. I promise to protect you from Oliver and Company.” it was your turn to roll your eyes, but you carefully lowered to sit down on the branch, curling your tail around the rough bark to keep your balance.

Dean’s face was level with your knees, and an idea came to mind,

“Let me on your shoulders,” he broke into a huge stupid grin,

“Sweetheart, it ain’t even the second date yet.” you kicked at him, huffing with embarrassment while he chuckled and slapped your tattoo. Thank God Cas healed it. .

“Damn it Dean are you ever not thinking about dirty things? You know what, nevermind don’t answer that,” you reached your hands out for him and motioned to turn around, “Come closer and turn around, I want a piggyback ride to the car.” sighing the big man did as instructed, and backed up so his head was flush with your knees,

“The dogs won’t -”

“I don’t care what you think, they will surely kill me and string me up as an example to all the other cats. Piggyback ride. Now.”

“Alright alright. .” he griped, “Hop on then.” you spread your legs and shimmied up to the edge of the branch, hiking your right leg over and then your left before sliding onto him with a jolt, a squeal, and the grasping of his head,

“Hey watch it!” he cried, stumbling forward a little while you screeched and hunched forward for balance. Dean gripped your ankles and managed to straighten, “Sit up and relax your legs.” he growled and you did a little, but couldn’t manage to straighten without feeling like you were about to spill backward,

“Don’t drop me!” the dogs were watching this circus show with curiously tilted heads,

“M’not gonna drop you dammit just -” your tail wrapped around his face naturally, cutting him off. Dean sputtered as the hair went into his mouth just before an uproarious sneeze - much like the one from that morning - had him pitching forward and throwing you to the ground over his shoulders,

“No!” you squealed as you plummeted the six and a half feet to the grass that was covered in December frost.

~That Morning~

“NO WAY!” you screamed loud enough to vibrate the mirror in Dean’s bathroom. You gaped at the sight before you, not knowing whether to be scared or angry,

“What!          ? What’s going on!” Dean was banging on the door, “Let me in! Are you alright?”

“I - I don’t. . . I don’t know. .” you breathed extending a hand to the top of your head. Standing to a large and fluffy point on the top of your head, were two white cat ears. They were perfectly proportional to your body, and soft to the touch. . and sensitive. They twitched involuntarily when you touched one,

“Oh!” it made you gasp and jump,

“Open the door!” Dean yelled a tad frantically, and you fumbled with the lock, unable to look away from your new appendages. Dean burst in immediately, grey bathrobe and all, only to come to a screeching halt at the sight of you. . but he wasn’t looking at your ears, no. . he was focused on your ass.

“Dean!” you batted at him thinking he was being weird, but when he lurched forward and snagged something back there, you screamed at a pain you’d never felt before. It resonated up your spine, “What are you doing?!” you wailed, grabbing at your lower back. . and coming into contact with something as soft as your new ears. .

Oh no no no no. .

“You have a tail!” Dean cried, finally releasing it to look at you. His jaw dropped, “And fucking cat ears - SAM!” he called, rushing out of the bathroom to find his little brother. In the mirror, you watched your left ear twitch at nothing for a moment before turning stiffly to examine the other new appendage that Dean just tortured,

“Oh my God. .” you breathed at the sight of it. The thing was thick and bushy, sprouting out from over the waistband of your night shorts and coming to an end just above your ankles.

It wasn’t moving involuntarily like your ears, and when you tried to find some sort of new muscle to move it, the thing only twitched a tiny bit in its hanging position. It was surreal.

Even when you lifted up your shirt and prodded at the point of entry low on your spine, it didn’t seem possible - and the most disconcerting part was that, looking at it the way you were now. . you couldn’t help but think it was beautiful.

Obviously you didn’t want it for any length of time, but the fur was soft and thick, it didn’t just hang limp, but instead jutted out at the top proudly. . It was pretty damn it. The ears too.

The white was so pristine that it matched the streak Sam had put in your hair, and you wondered if the culprit Angel chose the color on purpose.

After all he did make it clear that he liked the white streak in your hair. Thumping workboots signaled that Dean had found Sam and they were both bounding back to you as quickly as possible.

“        ?” Sam slid into the doorway and his hazel eyes immediately bugged at your condition. He too was only wearing a robe and long socks,

“Sam. . Sam what the hell?” you whimpered helplessly, “What did he do?” it looked like the tone of your voice really made it hard for him to stay in business mode,

“Did you check yourself for any other uh. . .” he scanned you body, “feline attributes?” you snapped back to the mirror and without a second thought, stripped down to your underwear and bra right in front of the youngest Winchester,

“Jeez warning please?” but you were too busy scanning yourself, even taking a moment to turn away from Sam and lift the waistband of your panties to examine your downtown. Normal. Thank God. .

Your fingernails were the same as always, painted shiny black from a week ago - Dean’s voice still rang clear from when he saw them “you’re not turning all goth on me now are you?” - Ugh, Generation X. . . Your normal ears were still there too, and as far as you could tell they were the ones doing all of the hearing.

“All good?” Dean entered the doorway, “Oh she’s naked, now it’s a party.”

“Shut up,” you clipped turning back to face them and sneering at the looks they were giving your tail and ears. “He turned me into a freaking cat!” both Sam and Dean were stifling smiles,

“I mean. . come on sweetheart,” Dean drawled, “Who in their right mind pranks an Angel. . that’s - I mean that’s just -”

“Ill advised.” THE deep gravelly voice rolled up behind you,

“Shit!” you screamed, spinning around and stumbling a little,

“Your fur is white?” he speculated, looking more surprised than you’d ever seen him. He was usually so passive. “Interesting.”

“Cas - I learned my lesson alright? Turn me back to normal.” he smiled slightly, no doubt at the idea of a teenage girl bossing him around in her underwear. It was a little ridiculous.

“No, I think in. .” he squinted up to the ceiling for a moment, “24 hours, you will have learned your lesson.”

“24. . I HAVE SCHOOL TODAY!” a deafening echo rang through the bathroom,

“Oh, that reminds me.” when he stepped forward you hopped back away from him, now extremely aware of how powerful Castiel was, but he cornered you between the lip of the tub and the doorjamb right beside Dean.

He held his hand out flat in front of him and in an instant he went from holding nothing, to what appeared to be a single diamond earring.

“This prevents outsiders from seeing your new attributes, only the Winchesters, you, and I will be able to observe your consequences.” you opened your mouth to speak, “However,” he held up a hand, “if you were to brush your tail up against, say, your inappropriate friend Gemma Reed, she would be able to feel it.”

“Sounds simple enough,” you glared, and his smile turned taunting,

“Oh trust me, it won’t be as easy as it sounds.” you gulped, gesturing to the diamond and - for the first time since you removed your clothes - feeling a little uncomfortable with having so many men crowding the bathroom.

“So what, do I just keep that in my pocket or some -” a gasp cut you off when Castiel suddenly gripped your left cat ear. It was very sensitive. “Ow let go!” you tried to duck out from under him, but he held on. You could see your other ear flattening in the mirror. . the way a cat’s does when it’s pissed off.

Sam and Dean were merely watching the show calmly - assholes.

“Pure white. . .” he mulled, inspecting the pristine fur with a furrowed brow,

“Wh -what are talking about?” you stammered, slightly slouched over, “Didn’t you pick the color?” you just sort of assumed he chose it to go with the streak that Sam left in your hair,

“No. Your soul did.” that was the last thing you expected him to say, both Dean and you spoke at the same time,

“What?” Castiel kept a hold of your new ear, but turned to face the Winchesters,

“The color of her fur correlates with the condition of her soul, hers is white - pure - that is very rare.” your face flamed,

“Yes thank you Cas, everyone knows I’m a virgin already, alright?” he looked back down at you and took your attention, but not before you saw Sam and Dean’s faces turn an adorable shade of pink,

“Virginity has nothing to do with it.         , your soul is uncontaminated, flawless. . practically sparkling. It’s incredible.” the two of you stared at eachother for a prolonged moment until one of the Winchesters cleared his throat. Probably Sam.

Castiel blinked himself out of the awe inspired trance and got back to business, but you were still reeling. What the Hell does this mean? A pure soul? I didn’t think I was any different than anyone else. .

“Sam, Dean, I need to speak with you in private at some point. I believe that this could have something to do with -” Dean cut his best friend off with a sharp look and for once Cas took the hint and closed his mouth,

“Have something to do with what?” you piped up, still twitching with discomfort at having someone hold your ear for so long. No one answered you, but your thoughts were cut short when the Angel’s other hand came up, and you saw the earring’s pointed back aimed right at your ear.

With a whimper, you grabbed onto his wrist to try and stop him from poking you, but of course even at maximum capacity your strength likely felt like nothing at all to this celestial being.

So with no extra effort he pressed the sharp tip right up to the point in your fuzzy ear.

“My apologies,” he muttered before shoving the thing right through,

“AHH!” you collapsed to the floor in a heap, hearing wings beat at Cas’s departure, and feeling hands on you big enough to be Sam’s. “Sam he stabbed me. .” you whined, gingerly touching the puncture wound on your tender ear,

“I’ll get you some Peroxide,” he heaved you up from the floor and stood you on your own two feet like some sort of giant doll. You would never get over how the Winchesters just moved you around like that. “Hey Dean?”

Only then did you notice that Dean was staring at you with wide wonder-filled eyes that made your skin tickle,

“Dean!” Sam shouted, finally getting his attention,

"Ye - hmm - yeah?” he cleared his throat and fidgeted awkwardly,

“Would you go start breakfast while I take care of her?” a tiny little smirk played on Dean’s lips,

“Should I heat up a bowl of milk?” Sam stared hard at his brother, but the older man didn’t falter, “I mean, she’s bleeding a lot. . are you sure we shouldn’t call the. . . purramedics?” Sam’s resolve was cracking a little bit, as he fought the urge to smile,

“Dean cut it out,” his voice was serious and Dean looked a little defeated, “she isn’t feline well.” the green eyed man’s head snapped back up at Sam’s pun, and you groaned,

“Guys seriously?” Sam smiled down at you,

“Oh come on         , we’re only kitten.” you only stared at him while Dean barked a laugh,

“Yeah sweetheart you know we’d move meowtains for you!” and with that both Winchesters were doubled over in brutish laughter at your expense. Your tail swiped back and forth in annoyance as you tried to move out of the bathroom by squeezing past Dean,

“Wait wait baby, we’re sorry alright? I’ll pick you up some cat-nip at the store to make it up to you.” he was doing a horrible job of looking serious,

“I hate you.” you grumbled, shoving past the big men roughly, who were now in fits of deep belly laughs that had you smiling a little despite yourself. However what Dean said next trashed the moment,

“Wait don’t go, I wanna mess with your tail.” your tried to get away, you really did, but once Dean had his mind set on something there was no telling him no. That was becoming increasingly clear.

Now most of all when he grabbed you around the waist mid run and plopped you face down on his bed.

“No Dean!” you squealed, thrashing around only to have an enormous weight come down on the center of your back. Dean sat on you. “GET OFF!” you screamed, wriggling beneath him pointlessly,

“But it’s so soft lookin’,” he complained like a little boy, scooping it up in his big hand. It was the strangest feeling ever,

“Dean,” Sam piped up over your whining, “Cats have extremely sensitive tails - ears too - you don’t want to hurt her.” you twisted your head to see Dean looking affronted at the comment,

“I’m not gonna rip the thing off, ‘sides she ain’t even a real cat - it’s probably not the same thing.” Sam was clearly unconvinced, “Have you seen me hackin' Sammy? No. She’s not a cat, just a person with a cool ass tail and some pointy ears.”

“You haven’t even gotten close enough to her yet Dean,” there was challenge in those words and Dean heard it loud and clear. Glaring at his little brother Dean shifted on your back, ignoring your pained grunts, and moved his face down near yours,

“What are you doing?” you panted, unable to breath normally with this 200 pound man on your back,

“If she was a real cat, would I be able to do this?” leaned down and stuck his nose right up against your fuzzy ear. It twitched on his face, making you grimace. And then he inhaled deeply.

Sam’s eyes were huge and for good reason, because not two seconds passed before Dean gave an uproarious sneeze that splattered all over the side of your face.

You were frozen, eyes closed and hands lifted halfway into the air,

“Oh. My. God. GROSS!” you squealed, only to feel Dean stumble up off of you and  backward into a never ending sneeze attack.

“She’s - ACHOO!! - she’s a real - ACHOO!! - c-cat!” and his bare feet pattered out of his room quickly but drunkenly as he no-doubt raced off to find some benadryl. His sneezing and hacking could be heard all the way to the kitchen.

Idiot.

“Ew. . .” you whined as you sat up and lifted the hem of your shirt to wipe the Dean-slobber from your face. A funny sound could be heard near the bathroom that made your blood boil, “Sam Winchester, so help me, if you are laughing I will come over there and strangle you with my tail!”

At the threat the man just gave into those deep vibrating chuckles while you continued mopping up your face.

“Sam. . I’m a cat. .” you whined, unsure how everyone seemed to be taking the change so well, but Sam was still chuckling,

“Well if you stay home from school, Dean’s gonna pick on you all day.” you shook your head, recalling Sam’s own cringe worthy puns,

“As long as I don’t have to go to school I guess. .” you sighed, finally getting the last of Dean’s saliva off of your face, “I hate you both.” you muttered before licking your wrist and smoothing it over your (h/c) locks. Sam’s laughter stopped and your eyes snapped open,

“Uh, what was that?” he was dead serious, and you stared at your wrist,

“What the. . I don’t know it was just like - natural! Oh God. . oh God. .” you stood abruptly from Dean’s bed and began backing out of the room, “I’m. . I’m gonna go lie down.”

Sam nodded mutely as he watched you retreat with your puffy tail wrapped tightly around your leg. What the Hell was that. . .!? I just. . groomed myself. .? You shuddered, cursing Cas silently in your head when Dean suddenly came into the hallway wiping his nose and blinking rapidly.

As soon as he saw you he froze,

“Stay back hellcat,” his red rimmed eyes only made you giggle, which of course made his frown deepen.

“As opposed to having you sneeze on my face again? No problem.” you started to pass him, bitter at how he plastered his back to the wall with a disgusted look on his face. As soon as you could reach, you flicked your tail up from around your leg and batted at his hands - mostly because you couldn’t reach his face.

“Ugh,” he had craned his chin up and away from you, pulled his hands to his chest, and risen to his tiptoes like a little girl being taunted with a worm. Needless to say, your evil came out a little bit - if you had to sport animal appendages all day, you were gonna have a little fun.

So, with Dean glued against the wall, you hopped over to him and wrapped your arms around his waist,

“No, no. .” he fretted, batting lightly at the top of your head,

“Dean, have I ever told you how much I love you?” you nuzzled your ears into his chest, and the guy fucking shuddered. . but for some reason you couldn’t stop. It felt amazing. So you rubbed harder. . Holy mother of. . . wow.

“I swear to. .” he faltered, “What the Hell are you doin’ kid?” the rubbing had turned to rutting, and soon your whole body joined the party, but it felt so wonderful that you didn’t even register the way you were basically grinding on Dean. In fact you weren’t registering much at all.

A low hum, lower than you’d ever spoken, rolled through your throat and the man totally stiffened while your eyes fluttered closed blissfully.

“Um. .” Dean reached down and tried to push away your head, but you only nuzzled into that hand until he jerked it away. Your head fell back to his chest, but all you could think about was scratching fingers on your ears,

“Mmmmm. . Dean - fingers.” you hummed, imprinting your fingernails where your hands rested on his lower back,

“Ow!” he jumped,

“Fingers,” you mewled, “use you fingers. . pleeeease. .”

“Oh. . Oh no.” if you were alert, you’d have noticed the uncomfortable panic in his voice, “Sammy?” his voice came out shrill with confusion, but the feeling of his shirt scratching along your skin was so intoxicating that nothing penetrated your happy little bubble of love.

That is until you rose to your tiptoes and wiggled your ears just under his chin. Dean sneezed so suddenly that it legitimately scared you, and sent you staggering back and fumbling to the floor with a startled scream.

“What. . what just happened?” the look of horror on Dean’s face was disquieting to say the least, and his answer was stuttering,

“You - you just -”

“What’s going on?” Sam’s voice rounded the doorjamb just before he did with a gaping look of concern on his face, as he took in the scene. You started to answer,

“I don’t -”

“She molested me!” Dean cried, wildly gesturing to you and then himself, “Just rubbing herself all over -- you molested me!” you gaped at the huge hunter currently throwing a fit,

“I - no I didn’t!” you accepted Sam’s helping hand and got to your feet, “I mean. . I didn’t mean to -”

“Wait,” Sam’s brow was furrowed the way it did when he was on to something, “Was it sort of like. . how a cat might rub up on you?” Dean’s eyes were still wide, but now he seemed to be getting frustrated,

“Yeah Sam, if a cat was five foot something with human girl parts!” Sam grimaced and your face flamed,

“Real nice Dean.” he commented, receiving an aggressive shrug from the green eyed victim,

“It just. .” then all eyes were on you, “It just felt really good.” your expression felt meek, and you crossed your arms over yourself, “I’m sorry Dean, it was like I had no control.” he snorted,

“I’ll say,” but then he pushed off the wall smirking like an idiot. Oh shit here we go. . “Dean, your fingers, use your fingers!” his voice was in an exaggerated pitch mocking your own, “I swear it sounded like some late night porn search.” you closed your eyes, knowing the dude had ammo on you for a good month or so.

“I’m gonna go take that nap. See you in five days.” a hand caught your shoulder when you went to turn around and you groaned dejectedly, “If you say one more cat related thing, I will scratch your stupid green eyes out and eat them.”

“No promises,” Dean quipped, “but you’re coming on a supply run with us, there’s no way we’re leaving you alone like this.” you crossed your arms,

“Cas wouldn’t do anything that would hurt me,” it was odd how sure of that you were even in this short amount of time. Dean shook his head in time with Sam’s,

“Naw you’re comin’ along, I’m not arguing about it.” he swiveled you around and nudged you slightly down the hall toward the kitchen,

“Dean -”

“Can it. I’m pulling rank.” he stayed behind you while you marched to the war room, “Get some food in ya, and meet us in the Library. . we’ve got some things to do that you aren’t gonna like.” Oh great.

Fifteen minutes later you found yourself standing outside of the Library door with a half eaten sandwich clutched in your hand. Low voices could be heard through the oak double doors, and at first you headed straight for them without a second thought as to what your two favorite people were talking about.

However when your name was distinctly spoken you froze just outside, tail and ears perked up at your sudden piqued interest,

“. . no Sam she’s not. .” it was hard to make out what was being said, Dean was speaking so deep and quiet, but the tone of his voice sent dread pooling in your gut. Taking a calming breath, you stepped closer and placed your ear to the crack of the door,

“We can’t just keep her locked down in here,” that was Sam, “we don’t even know for sure if she’s being pursued.” your eyes widened. Pursued? What. .? Dean’s voice had a little more volume when he answered,

“Since when have we not been on Hell’s radar, huh? Monsters talk Sam, and you know as well as I do that our girl is the all the rage at book club.” a heavy silence settled, “Sam. They’ll be after her. You know how good we are for people’s health. . poison - we’re poison.” you winced at hearing Dean talk about himself like that.

“So what are you saying?” Sam sounded exasperated, “We’re gonna keep her from school? She’ll know something’s up - I don’t want to tell her about the demons, it’ll only scare her.” he was right.

Even there, standing on the other side of the door listening to the possibility that demons and monsters could be after you had you trembling. The quiet on the other side of the door was laced with enough tension to feel it through the thick wood door, and when Sam spoke again it was very soft,

“Dean, they’re her biggest fear.”

“What?” you closed your eyes waiting for Sam to spill what you’d told him a few nights back,

“Clowns for me, flying for you - it’s demons for her. She’s afraid of demons.” Dean actually scoffed,

“Everyone’s afraid of demons Sam -”

“No.” the youngest Winchester interrupted, “She can’t even talk about them without being sent into a panic, I’m telling you, we can not clue her in about this.”

“Listen -”

“We can’t.” a harsh sigh exploded from Dean,

“Fine. Fine I won’t say anything, but you gotta figure a way to ease her into the situation without setting her off. You're good at that shit.” there was a creak of one of the old wooden chairs, at the same time a piece of your lettuce took a dive from between it’s little bread home to splat on the floor,

“Did you hear that?” Fucking lettuce. Okay that’s my cue. Taking a deep cleansing breath and physically shaking the nerves off of your body, you waltzed into the room like you’d only just arrived.

A fake smile was stretching your face,

“Hi, I’m here now. Just got here - totally wasn’t here before,” you swallowed hard and cleared your throat, forcing yourself to sit naturally in one of the chairs and take a bite of your sandwich, “Whatcha guys talkin’ about?” Sam was staring at you hard,

“You’re shaking         .” you waved a hand casually,

“It’s just this whole cat thing. . got me all wound up you know?” neither Hunter looked convinced, so you sailed on through to your compromising question, “So you remember Gemma right Dean?”all he did was snort, but that was answer enough, “Well I was wondering if -”

“No.”  he gave you a flat stare across the oak table for a minute before cracking a smile and kicking his feet up on the table, “Alright, alright. . what?” Okay my time to shine. . be cool.

“Well I know that you guys are super serious about security and all, but I. . was wondering if maybe I could um. .” they were watching you with raised eyebrows, it made you fidget, “If I could go over to Gemma’s house tonight. . she invited me over.”

Dean was staring at his boots nonchalantly, but you could see the gears turning behind his eyes. Sam was just blatantly watching you,

“What are you guys gonna do?” he asked casually,

“Well she said we wouldn’t scissor until we knew each other better -” you froze mid-giggle, taking in his wide eyed frozen expression, “Oh God did I say that out loud?” Dean’s eyes narrowed and he set his feet back to the floor to pin you with a stare that was clearly not amused,

“Kiddo -”

“Come on Dean, we’re just gonna eat a bunch of chocolate and watch Meg Ryan movies.” he grimaced,

“Then no.” he stood up and headed for a chest at the base of a bookshelf, crouching down to open it. Your chair groaned across the floor with how fast you stood to follow him,

“But Dean!” you whined, trailing after him like a puppy. . . or a kitten in this case. Sam was still just calmly watching all of this unfold with a look you couldn’t read, “She’s the first friend I’ve made here, and I really want it to work! I mean - what are you so worried about anyway? It’s not like there’s an army of demons after me right?”

Dean froze in the middle of digging through the chest and Sam’s gaze turned icy. Smooth like crunchy peanut butter. .

“Eavesdropping huh?” Dean went back to rummaging, “I’d be mad at you, but I feel too bad about what you’re about to go through.” you took a step back just as Dean found what he was looking for,

“What. .  what am I about to go through?” when you looked over at Sam, the long haired giant was standing up and rounding the table with pity etched on his features. You backed up some more, not liking where this was going at all, “Dean?”

“Who’s this friend?” Sam kept the conversation in order, crossing his arms to lean back on the table,

“Gemma,” you begged with your eyes as Dean stood up with something you couldn’t see in his hands. He finally turned to look at you, keeping whatever he had behind his back, and you floundered a little under both of their scrutiny,

“You mean the girl that hit on Dean?” Sam frowned,

“It wasn’t like that - she’s really cool. .” you insisted, but Dean shook his head, “Dean what do you have?”

“Sweetheart, it was exactly like that, I don’t like the idea of you hangin’ around, outside of school with a. . with a. .” he looked to Sam for help, but the long haired giant refused to say the word they were both thinking: Whore.

“Sam,” you turned all of your attention to the softer of the two men, taking care to keep Dean in your peripheral. Something wasn’t right here. “I promise I would text you every hour, and you can pick me up at 10. . you two can stalk us as much as you want! I swear I won’t get into any trouble, you can trust me!”

The brother’s eyes were bugging at your grating whining voice, and Dean dramatically shook it off. Jerk.

“Alright,” Sam started, “if we let you go, IF -”

“Okay if.” you agreed and Sam nodded,

“No drugs, no alcohol,” he counted on his long fingers, and Dean interjected as he made his way to the far side of the table, still keeping his mystery object hidden,

“In any form - I’m talkin’ brownies and jello shots. They still count.” you nodded wide eyed at their sternness,

“No boys,” Sam continued to count, “and you finish all of your homework before you go. Got all that?” honestly it seemed reasonable so you nodded vigorously, and Dean stepped forward to solidify a point,

“And you call us - for any reason. If something seems fishy. . it is.”

“Got it.” and then you grinned a huge megawatt grin that Sam always found contagious enough to send back, “You guys are the best!” and you hopped up to kiss first Dean and then Sam on the cheek before trying to make a hasty retreat - something was still not right about the atmosphere of this room.

You were afraid addressing it would remind them, but it was silly to think they’d forgotten, because as soon as you made to leave Dean had a hold of your hand and was towing you back to him,

“Ah, ah, there’s one thing Sammy forgot to mention.” Sam looked borderline distraught, and you shifted your eyes back to Dean who looked a little too pleased,

“What. . what is it?” you swallowed, “No smoking?” it was so hopeful it was pathetic, and the brothers exchanged a loaded look before Dean gently steered you over to the table with a hand on your back.

“Now we already know your pain tolerance is shit so this is gonna be Hell, but I promise it’s only gonna last for about five minutes.” you paled and balked at his words, but he urged you forward,

“What -”

“I’ll be as gentle as I can. Your job is to stay still - that’s it.” and then you saw it. Sitting there in the chair at the end of the table, totally hidden from view before, was a tattoo gun. No. Nope. No way. You dug your heels into the stone floor, shaking your head furiously, and tried to turn away from Dean to make for the door only to collide with a wall of muscle.

Sam.

“No!” you cried, trying to dart around him. Your arms were grabbed by two sets of hands, Dean from behind and Sam from the front, “No, no, no!” that was all you could think to say,

“Hey hey,” Sam murmured softly, “It’s alright       , people voluntarily get tattoos all the time - they don’t really even hurt that much.”

“Coming from you that means nothing to me,” you whined, “why -”

“It’s for your own good. An anti-possession tattoo. . now that you're with us for good you need one.” you exhaled shakily at Dean’s words, “We actually should have done this a long time ago. . better late than never kiddo.”

“No -no,” you whimpered, stiff in their hold, “I’ll. . I can just draw one on every day before I leave the Bunker!” you exclaimed it like it was the most brilliant idea of all time. Sam’s hazel eyes were blown with pity,

“        -”

“I - I really will, I swear!” you cried, almost to the point of begging, “You can’t just force me to get a tattoo -”

“Like Hell we can’t.” Dean growled behind you, tears were pooling in your eyes at that point,

“Dean.” Sam chastised with a bitch face that could turn a man to stone, “He’ll just do a really small one, somewhere no one will see it - it’ll be over before you know it.” the tallest man released you to his brother, who tugged you gently backward to sit on the table where you wrapped your arms around yourself and tried not to cry.

“What does it look like?” you wiped at your nose, it was stinging with threatening tears. While Dean fiddled with the needle and the gun, Sam pulled his black t-shirt down to reveal a circular symbol with a flame-like design over his heart - it reminded you a little of the sun only with foreign letters and drawings in it.

He let you stare at it for as long as you wanted, until Dean took a seat right in front of you in one of the creaky chairs, gun and ink in hand.

“Where do ya want it?” you blinked at him for a moment, unwilling to accept that this was a thing that was really happening to you.

“Nowhere.” you whispered weakly,

“Don’t get cute with me sweetheart,” he warned, but his face crumbled when a tear finally trickled down yours, “Aw come on sugar. .” he sat forward a little bit to wipe away the stray droplet, and cupped your cheek lovingly, “No tears, this is gonna be over before ya even feel it.”

“Dean -” you hiccuped, feeling like a child, “I don’t wanna. .” because you really were a child.

The gun looked scary, the tip sharp and glittery, and you didn’t want it anywhere near you. . never once had you thought about getting a tattoo so of course you’d never imagined having one forced on you.

“Shh, shh, please don’t cry on me babygirl.” he wiped one more tear away before he reached down and took your sock off, “How about on the side of your heel, hmm?” you didn’t have an opinion, really all of your focus was going into not ripping your foot out of Dean’s hold. Sam spoke up then too,

“It can be really small there, you can hide it pretty easily if you want to.” you sniveled and gave a rather meek nod, earning a reassuring squeeze from Dean and a small smile from Sam.

“Alright there’s my girl,” Dean uncapped the black ink and set it on the table, before scooting in closer to you. You actually whined when he adjusted your foot to the perfect position, and again when he dipped the needle in ink, and again when he clicked the buzzing torture device on.

“Relax. .” he cooed, swiping an alcohol patch across your skin. When Dean settled in, lightly holding your foot, you tried to stay still - you really did - but as soon as you felt the air from the gun you jerked away slightly. Sharp green eyes snapped up to you,

“S-sorry,” you whispered, trying to settle back down, but again you jerked away at the last second.

“Still.” Dean barked softly, gripping your ankle with renewed pressure. You bit your lips and gripped the edge of the table so hard your knuckles turned white, only to yelp and spasm at the first touch of the needle, “Fuck!” Dean jerked back quickly, so as not to muck up the symbol, and pinned you with a frustrated glare,

“I’m sorry!” you whined, “I - I can’t stay still! Can we please just do this some other time? I’m not prepared for this. .” Dean switched off the gun and stood up from his chair, but all hope was lost with one look at his face,

“This is happening today. Right now.” he lifted you, moving you back on the table a little bit before sitting back down, “I’m gonna give you one more chance to sit still, and then this is gonna get a little more traumatic.”

You gulped, feeling your eyes burn again while simultaneously feeling like a huge baby crying in front of the Winchesters about a tiny little tattoo.

They’ve each been tortured within an inch of their lives on occasion and here I am on the verge of a full one screaming fit over an itty bitty needle.

“O-okay. .” you whispered without fully knowing if you could keep still for him. In fact you were more certain that you couldn’t. With a slow nod, Dean leaned back over your naked foot and touched down again, only to have you scream and kick out at him like you were having your foot cut off.

“Son of a bitch,” he growled, rising to stand again with the gun in hand. He gave you a regrettable look before sighing, “Sam. . better hold her down.”

“NO!” the youngest Winchester approached with raw apology in his eyes, and you promptly scrambled over the table on your hands and knees to get away from him. Someone gripped your tail and pulled you back by it, eliciting a scream from your lips at the pain that crashed up your spine.

“Dean!” you were released at Sam’s reprimand, shuddering with lingering pain and whimpering with building panic at the whole situation. Going limp, you curled on your side covering your cat ears and tucking your tail tightly up between your thighs to keep it hidden from both men. That shit hurt.

Sam gripped your leg at the bend in your knee and drug you smoothly back across the tabletop toward him and his brother, you watched through tear clouded eyes, Dean study you for a moment and then shaking his head,

“No,” he spoke to Sam, “it’s gotta be the floor now, unless you wanna crawl up on the table, Gigantor.” Sam nodded in agreement before reaching to help you off of the table, only to have you start struggling in earnest again.

“Don’t Sam please!” you cried, grunting and whimpering with the wasted effort at trying to get away from him. The dude could restrain you with one pinky, that was the difference in strength there, but you had allowed that first little trickle of panic into your head and now it was expanding into a river. 

Limbs were moving on their own accord and all your brain was telling you to do was get away. Only you couldn’t.

“No!” you were taken gently to the floor, sat on your ass and pushed to your belly with ease despite your thrashing,

“Try and calm down         ,” Sam murmured in your ear, pressing you hard to the floor with only his weight, “It’ll be over in no time, and we’ll take you out for. . . ice cream?”

you could practically hear Dean’s shrug, it would have been funny how much trouble these two had coaxing a teenage girl to stay calm, but right now it was all you could to not to start sobbing. And when you heard the buzz of the tattoo gun start up again that’s exactly what you did.

“Jesus kiddo. .” out of the corner of one eye, under Sam’s armpit, you could see Dean getting to his knees at your feet, and your tail uncurled to snap around his wrist in a last ditch effort to stop this from happening.

It’s not that you didn’t think the anti-possession tattoo was a bad idea - it was an awesome idea and you knew you needed one - but being 15 and utterly sheltered put you under a certain category that Dean liked to call “pussy”. 

You were a giant pussy and both brothers knew that, which is why they both seemed totally unsurprised at your glaring overreaction.

“You have three seconds to unwrap this thing from my wrist or I’m cutting it the fuck off.”

“No -o -o -o!” you sobbed, choking on your own snot, “Dean please, I can’t do this!” you were a mess, sobbing and hiccuping on the stone floor beneath the two men. It was a pitiable sight for sure,

“You’re not doing anything sweetheart, just sit still and quit screamin’.” squeezing your tail around him, you also opted for kicking, missing of course but still giving it a valiant effort,

“Sam, do you mind?” Dean was totally done with your crap and that was never a good place to be. With a sigh, Sam took up your tail, gently unwound it from Dean, and gathered it up with your leg in one of his arms, pulling both of them up at an awkward angle that made moving virtually impossible.

It was actually hurting your hip a little bit, but something told you they wouldn’t hear of it.

“Let go of me! Sam please. .” you wept helplessly, screaming when Dean merely positioned the needle over your heel. It was times like these you really wished you had neighbors. Please someone help me. . . your eyes widened,

“Cas! Castiel!” Dean pressed your ankle down into the stone floor to hold your foot still, grinding the bone by accident,

“Cas ain’t gonna help ya kid -”

“Castiel help me!” you cried, sobbing harder when Dean chuckled,

“I wouldn’t do that sweetheart. .” but the familiar beating of wings lit in the room and the Angel himself appeared up next to your head, looking at scene before him with a perplexed expression.

“Cas make them stop. .” you begged tearfully, but what the Angel said wasn’t reassuring in the slightest,

“I suppose it would be best to etch the wardings while you have her restrained.” you went totally still,

“W-what?” Dean’s laugh came off dark, and Sam planted a kiss to your sweaty temple kneading wherever his hands lie,

“Told ya.” the man with the tattoo gun shook his head dryly, “Go ahead Cas, Sam’s got her.” Castiel took a knee beside you, his trench coat bunched up on the floor and he actually smirked at the way your ears flattened when he extended a hand toward your middle,

“Get away from me!” you hissed, fighting Sam as hard as you could. The man wouldn’t budge and you whimpered more weakly, “What are you doing?” the only answer that came was the touch of Castiel’s fingers and instant blinding pain that made your vision white.

You might have been screaming, but you couldn’t hear anything but a ringing in your ears, couldn’t see anything but brightness. It was a crippling kind of pain. But it was gone as quickly as it came, leaving you gasping in a sweaty tear puddle, trembling and panting. Castiel’s voice made you jump,

“Enochian sigils,” he explained, “now that they are carved into your rib cage, Angels won’t be able to locate you. Including me. So if you need me, you must pray.” you were still gasping, there was a lingering sting,

“C-carved. .?” he nodded once,

“If you prefer, I could brand the anti-possession tattoo into your ankle.” you gaped, “It would be much more logical than allowing Dean to stab you hundreds of times.” your face crumbled as the tears came back, pain was going to be an unavoidable part of your immediate future. . and that seriously sucked.

“Thanks Cas, I think we’re good here buddy.” the blue eyed being nodded and offered you a twitch of his lips before disappearing before your eyes, and before another second passed, fiery burning started up on the side of your heel,

“AHHH!” Dean held your leg down without strain, and Sam had the rest of your body in some sort of submission hold that rendered you immobile, so all you could really do was endure.

Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. . it went on and on for what felt like an hour, and your nerves never numbed to protect you. No that was a bullshit lie. You felt every second of it, and you screamed and cried just like any honest little girl would have.

The buzzing turned off before your screams did, and Sam continued to hold you still while Dean rubbed some kind of salve over the inky wound,

“Ow!” you cried, tensing up at his rubbing, and being ignored by both Winchesters yet again. Dean wrapped your ankle and heel in saran wrap and taped it off securely.

“Gotta leave this on for a while alright?” you only stared at him through accusing eyes, and he sighed, “Don’t you look at me like that sweetheart, or I’ll do the other foot just for fun.” you whined fearfully, not quite catching the sarcasm in his voice like you usually could.

Sam scooped you up in his arms, where you curled up and hid your tear streaked face in his armpit, he carried you to the garage with Dean following behind. The only way you could tell was that there was two sets of boot thumps, not because you’d taken your face out of hiding.

A car door was opened - not the Impala’s since there was no squeak - and you were set down onto a hard leather seat, your nostrils assaulted with new car smell.

“The Charger?” you asked when Sam finally untangled from you, and Dean’s voice sounded strained from where he was loading up in the passenger seat,

“The Charger. Because some little girl, who we care about very much, decided it would be cute to make my ride into a rolling tampon.” you cringed, glancing out the window at the bright pink Impala that was still locked down with a rotting salmon inside. “So yeah, the fucking Charger.” he repeated,

“You just now held me down and stabbed me with a needle a million times.” your voice was monotone and screamed 'fuck off' as Sam slid into the driver's seat and started her up silently,

“Well. . call us even then.” he was gazing at his baby with a sour look on his face right up until Sam pulled out onto the gravel road and out of view. After a moment of silence Dean finally asked in a much softer tone, “How’s your foot feel?” you looked down at it, still bare except for the saran wrap,

“It stings. .” you admitted, and both men nodded without a word. You hoped that this meant the Winchesters would be a little more lenient on rules regarding your social life, even though it seemed like sort of a high price to pay just to go watch movies with Gemma once a week. Or whatever the Hell you would be doing.

 Scowling at the symbol on your foot, you wondered how the Hell you would explain it to people - it looked Satan worship-esque so you thanked the lord Dean managed to make it about the size of a silver dollar. That was something at least.

The sound of the gear shift knocking into park brought you out of your bitter thoughts, and you unloaded without a word from either man, proceeding to head for the sliding glass doors alone,

“Wow, she’s pissed.” you heard Dean mutter, but your satisfaction was short lived when he added, “Look at that tail go Sammy, it’s fuckin’ adorable.” only then did you realize you had been absently flicking your tail back and forth, so you wrapped it around your waist in order to keep it under control,

“Leave her alone Dean,” Sam grumbled quietly from behind and you realized with a start that you shouldn’t even be hearing them with how far back they were and how softly they were speaking. Your ears twitched.

Super hearing? Huh. That explains why I could hear into the Library so clearly. . I thought that door seemed thick.

As soon as the grocery store doors parted, you marched straight for the ice cream section with only one thing on your mind. Chocolate chip cookie dough. God yessss. . The fluorescent lighting seemed to make the giant buckets of ice cream glitter like diamonds in a jewelry store and you had the freezer door open just as the Winchesters entered the aisle.

Dean was carrying a spray bottle with animals featured on the front, he must’ve grabbed it from the isle over. The arctic rush of air from the freezer made you shiver and your tail went rigid, hairs poking up straight at the chill, but you braved on for the sake of the 5-gallon bucket of goodness calling your name.

“Wow. .” Sam looked horrified at how much sugar you were hugging to your chest, but Dean looked almost proud.

“Lady after my heart,” he smirked, and you glanced at the bottle in his hand and he lifted it up without you even saying a word, “Oh this?” Sam rolled his eyes and started heading out of the aisle, “Well think of it as perfume sweetheart, a few squirt of this shit and I can actually stand to be around ya.”

“You’re gonna spray me with anti-allergen?” you glowered, and as an answer he did just that. Pretty much right in your face. “DEAN!” you screamed in the middle of the grocery store, but the guy was laughing.

“Ugh you’re such a dick!” thrusting the ice cream into his chest, you stomped down the aisle toward the exit, away from the overgrown 12 year old.

“Oh come on, where are you goin?” Dean called from behind, “Here kitty kitty kitty! Sam she’s leavin’ - quick - open a can of tuna!” you legitimately roared on your way out the door, cursing Dean and his stupid jokes.

Deep down though you knew it was because of the Impala stunt, you were just lucky he wasn’t pinching the shit out of you today like before. . yet anyway. Every time he saw that hot pink ride, he lost a little piece of his sanity. . just chipping away on his cool.

When you hit the pavement, grumbling and flicking your tail, a sound rang out across the parking lot. A sound that chilled you to the bone. The sound of a dog barking. . Oh fuck no.

~Present~

“DEAN!” you wailed, scrambling frantically to get away from the rabid dogs baring down on you,

“Fuck -” Dean recovered quickly and hurled himself over top of you, crushing you hard into the cold ground. His body was so much bigger than yours, that he completely covered you. The dogs were on him in no time,

“No!” you screamed, squirming beneath him, but he held you fast and trapped your limbs beneath him,

“Keep your arms in - AH!” the snout of the Sheppard was visible on the underside of Dean’s arm, and it took you a moment to realize his shout was one of pain. The dog had it’s teeth sunk into his bicep.

“No! Dean!” you squealed, scratching at the dog’s nose until it detached,

“F-fuck. .” he breathed, a bloom of red oozing out onto his green jacket. Again the man above you screamed that horrid guttural man-yell as he was bitten again. Screaming and sobbing, you tried to push him off of you, "Stay where you are!” he shouted through his teeth,

“No Dean, they’re biting -”

“Better me than you sweetheart - SHIT!” again a dog latched onto Dean somewhere out of view and you cried beneath him at the raw sounds of his pain. “Don’t cry princess,” he panted, “they’ll stop eventually -” he was cut off by another howl tearing from his throat.

The Hunter was growling, grunting, and yelling at the canine assault while simultaneously fighting to keep you underneath him. It was horrifying to watch Dean use himself as a human shield to protect you, but he wasn’t moving for anything. 

Weeping shrilly, you turned your face away from his grimace to block out the pain he was enduring, and found his spray bottle lying about a foot away from your spot beneath him.

The man bit back another yell, closing his eyes tightly to block out what had to be horrific pain and you used the second of privacy to reach out from beneath him and snag the spray bottle by the neck. Just before you brought it in a dog latched onto your wrist and Dean’s eyes snapped open at your screech,

“           !” you twisted your wrist, biting your lip in pain, and managed to squeeze the spray trigger and hit the beast in the eyes with the anti-allergen stream. The Pitbull released your wrist with a yelp and continued crying as he tucked his tail and ran. “Give me that -”

Dean jerked the bottle from your hand and tucked your bruised limb back under him to twist around and nail the Sheppard in the eyes with chemicals, resulting in the same hasty retreat. The Chihuahua followed without being assaulted and left you and Dean panting in the cold grass together.

“Well shit. .” Dean breathed, sitting up on his knees to inspect you. The skin on your wrist hadn’t broken and wasn’t bleeding, unlike various bite marks all over Dean’s arms and legs. The sight was gut wrenching, and before you knew it, you were sitting up and hugging him around the waist, sobbing like a baby,

“Why did you do that?” you cried, squeezing him for all it was worth, “They could’ve. . could’ve. .” you didn’t want to say "kill you" because it sounded dramatic, but it was the truth,

“What was I supposed to just let them maul you to death while I sat back and cracked a beer?” he somehow managed a tight laugh, “No way. It’s nothin’.” Well compared to what you’ve been through maybe.

“I’m sorry I stormed out of the store,” you were still weeping and carrying on, “that was stupid I just - you made me so mad.” he was rubbing your back, sitting back on his knees and straddling your legs,

“Well I guess I got mine huh?” he winced through his smile, brushing your (h/c) strands off of your wet cheeks, “We’re getting Cas to take this fucking curse off of you as soon as we get back to the Bunker, that’s for damn sure.”

“O -okay,” you sniveled, wiping snot from your nose and trying not to look at the bleeding bites all over him. “I’m sorry.” you said again, but he only shook his head and heaved himself to his feet with a pained grunt, helping you up after him. Why is he so amazing? How the Hell did I get so lucky. .?

Sam and Dean often made you feel like you’d won the lottery with how much they cared for you, with all of the circumstances that lined up perfectly to bring them permanently into your life.

After all once they rescued you from the fire, they didn’t have to keep you. . but for some reason they did.

 Dean made good on his promise and called Castiel to lay into him about how dangerous his prank turned out to be. He lifted the temporary curse, but you were sure it was just to get Dean to stop yelling at him - which only happened after Cas had also healed Dean’s bites and your tattoo. 

The rest of the day had you in awe of the eldest Winchester.

The more you thought about how he protected you today - so selflessly and bravely - the more you wanted to repay him, but all you could do was stare at him as he researched lore across the table from you.

“Still think you’re up for Gemma’s tonight?” Sam broke you out of your trance, “Were you just checking out my brother?” Sam teased and Dean looked up from his ancient book to wink at you, chuckling when your face flamed.

“Shut up Sam,” you muttered, “and hell yeah I wanna go to Gemma’s. I suffered through this freaking tattoo in order to do it didn’t I?” Dean scoffed across the table and both men rolled their eyes. 

“Yeah I guess you did,” Sam nodded before patting the table in front of you, “load up then, if we want you back before 10, we better get ya over there.”

 “Alright. .” Dean grumbled 45 minutes later in the passenger seat of the Sam’s Charger, “you remember all the rules?” he glanced back at you, clearly more interested in studying Gemma’s quaint little house just like Sam was. You rolled your eyes,

“Yeah guys I remember, nothing’s gonna happen I promise.” and if it does you can just take another friend away. . but of course you kept that part to yourself. Sam and Dean both grumbled incoherent acknowledgements that didn’t sound very convincing when all three of you heard a shrill scream that snapped your attention back to the house,

“Ah Hell. .” Dean rolled his eyes at the sight of Gemma - the one and only - doing excited quick feet on her porch before bounding down the steps toward the car. At her clear excitement you let out a little involuntary squeal that made both brothers wince and growl in irritation,

“Don’t you start that shit kiddo.” Dean warned, but it didn’t damper your mood at all.

Sam looked borderline horrified at the bubbling blonde hurtling toward his window,

“This is. . her?” he asked quietly,

“Yeah, she’s great!” you insisted, “Just roll down your window and say hi to her, quit being weird.” instead Sam popped his door open, muttering a halfhearted,

“If you say so.” Dean looked like he was gonna throw a fit,

“We’re getting out?” he whined, giving a quiet roar when the only answer he got was his two companions doing just that. What a drama queen.

“Eeek!       , I’m so happy to see you!” she bounded right passed Sam and collided hard enough to make you both grunt, and then you proceeded to jump up and down screaming. A harsh sigh sounded on the passenger side of the Charger at your theatrics, but there was no stopping them - you were long overdue for some girl time.

“Wow.” Sam chirped and finally Gemma detached and turned to face him,

“Dean I -” she stopped abruptly, “Holy long and tall. .” she muttered when she realized it was Sam. Oh God here we go.

“Uh, hi I’m Sam,” he extended his hand and she took it, making a show of shielding her eyes from the sun to look up at him. Okay so far so good. .

“Tell me big guy, are you proportional everywhere?” well fuck never mind. Sam froze his hand shake and his eyes went wide before she stage whispered to you, “Christ     , warn a sister before you bring a wet dream into her yard.”

“Oookay,” Dean piped up coming to stand beside a shell shocked Sam, “This is Gemma, Sammy.” his smug expression screamed “told ya”, but Gemma was impervious,

“Ooooo! There you are!” she cried releasing Sam’s hand to throw herself into Dean, who surprisingly enough hugged the girl back,

“Ah, heya Gem.” he patted her back tenderly but looked to Sam with helpless wide eyes. To be honest the show was hilarious. Gemma inhaled loudly and sighed,

“Mmm whiskey and leather, just like I imagined.” Dean rolled his eyes that were practically begging you to save him, but she pulled away herself and studied Sam thoughtfully before simply saying, “Damn get a load of them fingers.” and returning to your side in front of the secretly flustered men.

Dean looked like he was about to speak, but snapped his mouth shut abruptly when Gemma spoke first,

“Don’t worry boys, I’ll take care of her - we’ll talk about girl things it’ll be fab.” she giggled grabbing your hand and squeezing, “Unless you wanna come in for a bit. .” she wiggled her eyebrows and Dean cleared his throat while Sam looked like he was going pale.

“I give a mean foot rub, oh! I could show you how I can eat a Popsicle in one suck? How’s that sound?” it was like she didn’t realize how perverse her words sounded because the babbling blonde beside you looked innocent as can be as she suggested they observe the deep-throating of phallus shaped frozen treats.

Dean’s eyes were rolling as he turned back to the car with a groan and a little wave filled with distain, but you knew deep down Gemma was growing on him. After all she was like the female version of the eldest Winchester himself - how could they not get along?

“Bye guys,” you smiled reassuringly at Sam who was still shocked silent, and allowed Gemma to steer you toward the house, “See you in a couple hours!” you jogged to keep up with your blonde friend so you could whisper in her ear,

“What Meg Ryan movie did you pick?” her laugh could be heard for miles,

“Oh sweetie,” she shook her head, “we aren’t watching movies together. . in fact you and I aren’t even hanging out.” you were so confused,

“What?” she giggled,

“Ooh, you’re gonna owe me so big for this one!”

****

“Umm, Sam. .?” you were staring at your math book in your lap, watching Sam work around the kitchen. He was making steak tonight, and attempting pie from scratch - a reward for your good grades this term - the atmosphere seemed to happy for what was rolling around in your head.

Guilt. It was a crippling feeling, that one.

“Yeah?” he glanced back at you, tossing a cloth over his shoulder after closing the oven door on some red potatoes. When you remained silent he prompted kindly, “Need help with math tonight?” and you actually managed a smile,

“You’re aware that you got straight A’s this term, not me, right?” your giggle mingled with his chuckle, but a little squint of his eyes told you he saw some of your emotional conflict behind the sound,

“You alright?” it was genuine, not baiting, and the concern had your eyes welling. . which had Sam coming across the room. “Did something happen at Gemma's tonight?” you actually gave a dry laugh at how spot on he was.

“If. . if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell Dean?” the tall man’s guard was immediately up, “Please. I need to talk about this.” you looked to the floor feeling ashamed about the thing that was eating at you.

“Okay,” he agreed after a long pause, “unless it’s life threatening.” you snorted,

“I don’t think so.” It had been awhile since you opened up to the youngest Winchester, and you were long overdue for a heart to heart. . So many things had been nagging at your heartstrings lately, and the only person that really knew what to say had been Sam.

Surely Dean would do in a pinch, after all the man had feelings for miles, but there were certain things that you just couldn’t say to him. This being number one.

“You can’t get mad. .”

His expression gave you no promises as he waited for you to share. It took a long time to think of what you needed to say, and how to say it, but Sam was a patient man (nothing like his brother), there was no pressure at all.

“I. . .” you broke the silence after maybe five minutes of picking at the cover of your math book, and avoiding his eyes, “Do you remember when I texted you on my way home from school a few days back?” Sam nodded,

“About the boy you like?” it was surprisingly neutral how he said it,

“Yeah. . about him.” you’d taken up picking your nails, because you weren’t sure what to do with your hands, “And also about me. .” now. . you didn’t have to be a genius to know two things for certain. One, Sam wasn’t an idiot, and two, the guy was having some crazy sixth sense attack about where this was going - judging by his next question.

“         . What did you do?” you swallowed and stopped picking at yourself, to find him staring down at you with a hard expression. Something about the way he was looking at you, and all of the guilt building up over the past couple hours had your face crumbling with the burn of tears.

The big Hunter’s whole demeanor instantly changed,

“Whoa, whoa         hey. .” he gripped your shoulder in one huge hand, and you chin with the other to point your face back up at him, you were ashamed of the tear streaks he found there. “What happened. .?” he looked lost and sort of afraid with the way his big hazel eyes widened and flicked over your features restlessly,

“Sam. . I - I, please don’t be mad at me. .” a sob broke out then, and he pulled you to him without another beat, crushing you against his towering frame and bringing you dangerously close to slipping off the counter,

“Shh, deep breaths. . it’s okay,” he rubbed your whole body with the cage of his arms, “I promise not to be mad. Just tell me what’s wrong, it’ll be okay.” another giant quaking breath racked your body, and he squeezed you harder in response,

“God I wish my mom was here.” the biggest pause of your life passed after that whisper, where Sam was still and tense - he had to know where this was going now, you just hoped his adult mind had made a more explicit jump than what you were about to confess.

That would make it easier.

“It’s okay, talk to me        . I promise not to get mad.” he conceded softly before he pulled back to look you over. Don’t tell him. . just say never mind and go play wrestle with Dean. This is gonna be so bad for you. .

You hands trembled with uncertainty at confessing something this significant to Sam, but the guilt. . it was eating at you - your mother would be horrified if she knew what you’d done tonight.

What I let happen.

Frankly if you kept it bottled inside for one second longer you would explode - and the way Sam was watching you was so reassuring. . so you took a deep breath, wiped your eyes and said,

“Okay. . this is hard to say out loud,” Sam’s face was frozen on passive, and you looked at him wondering if you should really recount the story. Thinking back to the truck bed, made your eyes water for some reason.

You shuddered at the memory of what you had done - forgetting for a moment that you had an audience

 “         ?” Sam jerked you out of the memory, with a worried expression and you blinked, “What’s not easy to say?”

“Um. .” you swallowed, fidgeting under his raised brow, “I cheated on my history test last Monday - that’s why I got such a good grade.” the tall man straightened up, and your stomach felt like a pit of despair. So much for coming clean. .

“That’s. . all?” he regarded you suspiciously, and you nodded maybe a little too aggressively,

“Yeah so if you wanna ground me or whatever, I’m totally okay with it.” Guilty conscience much? Sam looked concerned for your sanity,

“It’s fine. .” he turned halfway back to the oven, “Are you sure that was it?” you swallowed and looked back down at the math book on your lap, feeling like you might explode.

“Yeah Sam. That. . that was it.” but for some reason your mouth had a mind of it's own and rambled out a confession in one quick blur,

"Also Blue Ashmore fingered me in the back of his truck and asked me to Winter Formal." Sam gaped open mouthed for more than 30 seconds.

Shit.

Chapter Text

Every step you took toward the black grumbling beat up Ford, had your heart buzzing with nervous energy.

When you finally found the courage to look up from the pavement, it was quelled by the sight of Blue rounding the black beast with a smile on his face.

He was coming to open the door for you. Oh dear Lord this boy. . He simply watched you shyly walk up, and with his hand on the handle, he leaned down to murmur in your ear with that low, sweet hinted southern drawl,

“You look beautiful today chicklet. Too beautiful to be cooped up in school.” blood rushed to your face so fast that you could practically hear it, and you knew it showed when he straightened up again because his grin only intensified,

“Thank you. .” you acknowledged and naturally averted your eyes to the cracked sidewalk, before he finally opened your door.

The guy even took your hand as you stepped up onto the runner board to climb into the thing, and it only had you swooning in the passenger seat as you watched him make his way back around.

Once he was in he glanced at you and offered a quick reassuring wink,

“You ready?” he questioned with his hand on the gear shift and you gave a little smile,

“Where are you taking me?” he took that as a go-ahead and forced the growling dinosaur into drive,

“Oh, you’ll see.” the look in his eye promised chivalry though, so you let yourself relax with this boy, and just tried to bask in the fact that you were currently going out with Lebanon High’s star football player - and his muscles that were waving hello in his casual t-shirt.

Jesus .

The drive was quiet, but it was comfortable, and the whole time you were trying to find the courage to slide across the bench seat to lean on him. It never happened though, he pulled off into a dark alfalfa field before you could manage it.

He laughed at the little giggles and squeals escaping your lips as the big truck bounced through the bumpy field, until he finally stopped in the middle and cut the engine.

“An alfalfa field?” you asked, trying not to sound jaded,

“Oh this ain’t it.” he chuckled and was suddenly out of the truck, “No peeking.” he pointed a stern finger at you and cracked a smile at your solemn nod before slamming his door.

The truck rocked as Blue took the tailgate down, and you had to try really hard not to sneak a glance to see what he was up to. You hated that you were nervous.

All you wanted was to be like those girls you watched on TV, not afraid of anything, confident and sexy, able to let loose when the time was right. . but right now, when you needed to be doing all of those things, you were tense as a college student who just looked at her bank account.

“Fucking Gemma. .” you whispered sort of grudgingly.   Y ou really wanted to look back at the loud banging noise that just vibrated the cab, but settled on trying to give yourself a pep-talk instead,  “Okay. . okay. . alright I got this -” the door squeaked open suddenly, and you yelped in surprise,

“Sorry,” Blue’s brow furrowed slightly when he got a load of your Uggs, “no way I’m making you walk through this shit in those.” he held out his arms and flipped his fingers in a coaxing motion, “Hop on sugar.”

“You wanna. . carry me?” you asked in disbelief,

“‘Course. I also want you to close your eyes - wouldn’t wanna ruin the surprise would we?”

“Alright, don’t drop me. .” and you closed your eyes to shimmy over until he scooped you up bridal style and twirled with you in the tall grass before hiking you up with one arm and catching the door with the other.

He seemed pleased that he made you squeal like a little girl, and you were definitely pleased at getting to feel the hard strength of his shoulders and you clung to his neck.   Mmm football players .

“Keep em’ shut for me.” he reminded and you nodded astutely,

“Yes sir!” that made him laugh outright,

“Jeez you sure are a cute one, chicklet.” you could feel him shaking his head as he moved to the back of the truck, and you could also feel a huge shuddering sigh explode from his chest. Almost like he was nervous too. . that can’t be right . . “Go ahead, open your eyes.” and very slowly, still clutching his neck, you did.

“ Oh . .” it was a gasp that you couldn’t hold in. Scattered around a blanket on the truck bed, was a countless number of tealights twinkling in the midday light. They were sitting on the tire covers, the tailgate, and the sides of the pickup bed, not to mention a whole army of them covering the big silver toolbox that seemed like it was just a part of the truck after all this time.

A small cooler was perched on the tailgate as well, and in the center of the blanket was a single red rose. Your heart swelled,

“Oh my God. . Blue. . this is. .”

“Too much? Shit I knew it was gonna freak you out - I don’t want you to feel -”

“No!” you turned back to look up at him and your eyes connected, “I was going to say this is beautiful. . No one has ever done anything like this for me before. Ever.” the anxiety in his pretty hazel eyes disintegrated and that confident gleam was back full force with his grin,

“Well you seem worth it to me           .” that was the first time he said your name all night, and it made you forget how to breath. The tea lights were making his eyes glitter in the most mesmerizing way, and before you knew what was happening his lips touched yours. Softly, sweetly. . it made your pulse stutter and your eyes flutter closed.

My first kiss. .

Just when you expected him to do something fancy or try and shove his tongue in your mouth, he pulled away, leaving it a sweet first kiss with a promise of more to come.

The large boy finally toted you up to the bed and set you delicately down on the blanket where you picked up the rose, before climbing up himself and reaching for the cooler.

“So um,” he started with a little chuckle, turning away to dig through the ice box. You frantically fixed your hair and brushed a finger under your eyes, “I wasn’t sure if you drink. . but I brought beer.” he glanced back and caught the sour look on your face. Bleh, beer . He laughed,

“Okay there’s an answer.” and he produced a black cherry flavored Mike’s Hard Lemonade and twisted the cap off swiftly, “Good thing I also brought this, it’s like drinkin’ juice chicklet.” your face reddened, but the smile on his face told you that there was nothing to be shy about.

“Alright,” you took it, shivering at the cold glass in your hand, “I’ve never drank before, though.” he shrugged, twisting the cap off his beer.

“That’s nothin’,” he mumbled, “‘sides, this feels like a night for firsts.” and he took a swig of his before he could see the conflict on your face. Gemma said he wasn’t like that. . it’s okay. .  

So with a guilty conscience, you brought the sweet smelling alcohol to your lips and tried not to think of Sam and Dean’s potential disappointment as the sugary substance passed your lips.

“That a girl,” he grinned, not hiding his amusement at the puckering of your lips from its sour taste,

“Hey. . that’s actually pretty good.” you admitted, “It sorta tastes like a Jolly Rancher.” Blue grimaced,

“Don’t know how you girls drink that shit,” he shook his head and moved closer to you on the blanket, setting his beer down. The tea lights flickered in his hazel depths, and you sensed something heavy about to happen, “I never heard your story new girl. . Gemma told me you seemed pretty elusive about it.” his voice was a purr, but the question made your chest tighten.

“Oh it’s boring, you know run of the mill story.” you gulped another bout of alcholic syrup down,

“I bet it’s not,” he smiled softly, “you don’t seem like the boring type.” Sam and Dean had grilled you on a fake backstory to tell the kids at school when they asked - they are my uncles, I don’t get along with my parents so I moved out here to start fresh.

But for some reason, with the way Blue was gazing at you, and the somber mood in the air, it made it hard to keep the truth in . . but you managed none the less.

"I don't really get along with my parents. ." it was almost physically painful to say, but since you had broken this particular rule before and it resulted in the convenient memory loss of your childhood friend, you suffered through the burn.

"I hear ya," Blue grumbled and clinked your bottles together in cheers. It was better this way, to not talk about it.  In fact it was a goal of yours to never speak of it, because maybe then you could act like it never happened.

Blue scooted up next to you, and pulled you into his side with an arm slung over your shoulders. You tried to ignore the leaping of your heart as you both leaned back to lay on the the blanket, and snuggled in close like you’d seen other girls do before. Play it cool.

“So those wildly handsome guys you’re living with now. .?” you actually giggled, wiping under your eye,

“Only people I have left to love.” you told him wholeheartedly, turning your head to look at him. He was staring straight at you. Alcohol forgotten, you watched his eyes flicker between yours and your lips.

Oh. . oh we’re about to kiss again - alright okay. .

Referencing every movie and book that pertained to this moment, you closed your eyes and inched forward, practically vibrating with victory when you felt Blue meet you halfway.

He sighed through his nose and rolled to sling an arm over your hips, pulling you flush against him and groaning low when you kicked a leg up over his waist to get closer. Blue’s kiss was slow and easy, massaging your lips tenderly as he rubbed your back and cupped your head. . if it hadn’t been for the task itself he might have lulled you into a comfortable sleep.

It was difficult not to go overboard with sporadic movements or succumb to the flashing thrill, but Blue lead you like a pro and you followed willingly. Even when his tongue slid across your lower lip, you just gave in to instinct and parted them, working to get used to how his tongue actually felt versus how you expected it to feel. . .

It was foreign at first, but as he explored gently you got used to it -- and then got very used to it. Only when his hand moved around from your back to squeeze your hand did you realize that both of them were balled up into fists in his shirt. He broke the kiss only to trail his lips down your jaw and kneaded your fist,

“Relax         , you’re perfect.” you sighed at the attention he was giving to your neck, and naturally unclenched your hands, “There you go. .” his tongue struck up along the curve of your neck to your ear, and it made you shudder just before his lips connected back up with yours.

You wanted to feel him, so your hands travelled up his chest and around his shoulders, absently squeezing and lingering on random places.

The low groaning sound he was making told you he didn’t mind a bit, not even when your fingers tangled into his thick dirty blonde hair. A strange sound happened in your throat when you felt one of his big hands come rest on the inside of your thigh, between the leg that was still up on his hip and the one on the blanket.

When it moved again, upward, you broke the kiss and looked down with a gasp. Blue froze and classic you blurted the first thing that came to your braindead mind,

“I’m a virgin.” his eyes blew at the sudden statement, and your face reddened when he chuckled, “Are. . are you laughing at me?” you asked a little hurt,

“Not at you hun, just the fact that you thought you even had to tell me cracks me up.” when he saw your expression, his went soft again, “I know already chicklet, and I didn’t bring you out here tonight to change that. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Okay, I just thought. .” you didn’t finish, still acutely aware of his hand lingering down below, “I don’t want to disappoint you. .” he shook his head and gave a small smile in answer,

“I’m sorry I laughed          , you’re just so sweet.” he kissed your cheek, and his fingers twitched, “There is something that I want to do though, if you’re feeling brave.” you weren’t at all, every ounce of tact had been chased away by your glaring social slip. You nodded anyway of course,

“Nothing scary,” he must’ve seen the guarded expression, “I think you’ll like this.” and his hand moved to cup the apex of your thighs. No one had ever touched you there and you stiffened, remembering all of your mother’s warnings about this type of thing.

“Trust me.” Blue whispered huskily and ducked low to kiss your throat,

“Blue. .” you breathed as soon as his hand started to move. At first it was strange, you weren’t sure what he thought he was doing for you with his hand pushing and kneading.

In fact, it was a little uncomfortable at first - things were sensitive and the fabric of your leggings seemed harsh down there. But then. . Blue moved his hand back to where only his fingers were touching the top of your slit, and he focused pressure there, pressing circles and catching this strange spot that made you jump.

At your reaction he rolled closer, slightly on you, and began outright mouthing your neck like a hungry bear as he continued little circles on that unfamiliar nerve bundle. And it was like everything in your body began to tingle at once.

“B - Blue . .” you whined, feeling a little insecure about what your body was doing,

“Feel good?” he breathed, nipping your pulse point gently,

“I - I -” you were cut off with your own groan when he increased the speed of his tight circles, and your legs tried to close on their own, but you fought it to feel the rub of his fingers.

It was like a tightening was happening low in your belly, and electricity was sprouting from where his fingers rubbed. . And lower too, a place where you knew there was an opening, but had never had the courage to explore it yourself. .

Dean always calls it a pussy when I hear him talking to Sam. . Is that what Blue would call it? Is that what I should call it? It felt dirty.

You shook the thoughts away as quickly as it came because there was no way you were gonna think about anybody but this boy, who was currently working you to your first ever orgasm. Spreading jolts, tingles, and pressure made your legs shake, and this obscene whine was just flowing from your parted lips continuously.

It would have sounded like you were in pain, luckily the Senior after you knew better. Two thick breaths punched from your lungs just before you reached the edge of the high you were chasing. Blue captured your lips with his and swallowed the most animal scream you’d ever made as your body jerked and wriggled beneath him.

He rubbed on, coaxing whines and grunts from you as that pleasure train kept on puffing away - it was the most amazing thing you’d ever felt. No thoughts of pain, fear, sadness. . No guilt, mourning, or worry. No sense of time. No sense of self. Only bliss, euphoria, and joy. . things that were hard to find for you lately.

So as your body spasmed in response to this pleasure overload, you let time stop, and you rode it out, craving every tingle and spark - because up until now you didn’t know that there was a way to feel this good.

And you felt a little cheated.

“Oh God. . Blue . .” you mumbled on his lips while your hips rocked up into his kneading hand. “Sh-shit!” your sex clenched and pulsed so many times you thought it would never end, and shuddering breaths copied the tail end of your very first orgasm sputtering out and finally dying. Only when your body started to relax, did Blue give you one more gentle caress and remove his hand.

“That was a long one,” he pecked your lips and rolled off of you as you lay shell shocked with your legs still spread.

“Oh. . oh my God Blue what was that. .?” of course you knew what it was, but there was no way people have orgasms like that and never talk about it right? Right ?

“Well, you just came chicklet. . and judging by the look on your face it was the first time?” you nodded gaping, and trying to regain composure, but Blue grinned and downed the rest of his beer before resuming his initial position on his back beside you, “I like that.” he pulled your shoulders close and you sort of rolled to melt into his side, feeling like water.

“What do we do now?” you asked, assuming he wanted some kind of reciprocation - and honestly you couldn’t blame him - but what he said was,

“I just wanna lay with you now kid, I bet you’ve never seen stars like this in Portland, Oregon. Bettin’ the lights were too bright.” at his words you turned your head to the night sky and were rendered speechless at the sight. More stars than you could’ve imagined were crystal clear and twinkling bright in the dark blue and black hues.

“Oh. .” it was only an exhale, and the side of Blue’s chest rumbled with a chuckle,

“Oh.” he agreed. After a long while of just laying in the quiet chilly night, you felt this weird scratching in your palm. Please don’t be a bug, please don’t be a bug. . . All you could picture was some huge terrifying southern bug wriggling in your hand, but due to the dire need for Blue not to think you were nuts, you very slowly unclenched your hand and looked down.

Paper .

It was balled up paper in your fist, like it had been there the whole time. Blue was still stargazing, maybe even appearing a little drowsy, so when you discreetly uncrumpled the paper it wasn’t a shock that he didn’t notice.

There was writing.

What the. . . Squinting by the light of the fake candles, and keeping the paper down by your hip, you just barely made out the words ‘Get back to Gemma’s. You have 20 minutes.'

All you could do was gape, because somehow Castiel had slipped a note into your hand without alerting either of you to his presence, but of course it didn’t end there. Light pressure pushed the paper into your soft skin, and you watched in real time more words be scrawled slowly.

Even though you knew it was Cas, it made your skin prickle. . it reminded you of a horror movie - or Tom Riddle. ‘ Now you have. . .’ you squinted harder as Castiel wrote without being seen. ‘15 minutes.’ your eyes bugged,

“Shit Blue we gotta go! ”

~Present~

The kitchen was silent after the pretty detailed recount of your time with Blue. The air felt heavy, tense really as you waited for the softer Hunter to say something. . anything.

Please, just say anything. .

Although you’d said the words a million times throughout your tearful monologue, you decided that saying them again couldn’t hurt.

“I’m so sorry Sam.” it was the tiniest whisper of all and again it was met with silence. You supposed that the quiet was better than yelling, after all had you told Dean he might have made you deaf by now.

Dean. You shivered, clenching your fingers on the edge of the counter that still served as your perch.

Neither you nor Sam had moved for the past five minutes and you were beginning to wonder if your confession had turned him to stone. It felt good to tell him - someone - the guilt was dissolving you from the inside only an hour after the fact. How do people keep secrets like this. .?

Finally Sam cleared his throat and refolded his arms over his wide chest. At the sign of life, you picked your eyes up from your knees and peered up at him hopefully in his spot across the kitchen.

The apples he had been chopping for the pie had been long forgotten on the cutting board, and you actually smirked when your frazzled brain attempted to convince you that Sam might pick up the knife and plunge it into your chest as punishment for your colossal fuck up.

He wouldn’t kill me for fuck’s sake. . might want to, but he won’t. Of course not. The big long haired man was zoning on the floor right in front of his moccasins, with a brow furrowed in deep thought.

You ventured timidly into the unknown,

“Sam. .?” when his eyes flicked up, your breath caught. You hadn’t seen Sam’s eyes so stormy since the day he saved you from the fire. They were darkened, the golden hazel now a deep brown, and he pinned you with them so intensely that it was like he was staring right through you.

It was the type of look that forced a girl to remember that yeah. . this guy has hunted  monsters for his entire life, seen things that I can’t even begin to fathom, and has killed without batting an eye. Where did my cuddly Sam go?

Any other noise got lodged in your throat, and rendered you unable to do anything but sit there like you’d just swallowed a frog. However when Sam spoke, it wasn’t harsh like his expression, but it did sound sort of forced,

“How do you feel about all of that?” the tone of his voice seemed to get up and walk around the kitchen island to backhand you itself, and you had to swallow a few times in order to get your bearings.

“About what?” that’s what you came up with. Sam shot you a look that screamed ‘are you fucking kidding me’, before he spelled it out for you,

“The things you did with Blue          . How do you feel about it?”

“Fine.” you answered without thought and Sam raised his brows,

“Then why did you need to tell me about it?” he challenged, “And why are you crying? I know it isn’t just because you’re afraid I’ll get mad. . which I am by the way.” his jaw locked at the same time yours did.

He was right. You were guilty, but not totally because you had outright disobeyed the Winchesters. . there was a different kind of deep seated upset in the pit of your stomach, partnered with a sort of pain in your heart at the things that occurred tonight.

How did Sam detect that before me?

Looking at him, you knew - the dude was interrogating you - a skill set he had acquired through years of Hunting. Sam Winchester had trained himself to see the inner workings of a person's mind before they themselves had the chance to. . something told you that the gears and switches of a teenage girl’s conscience wouldn’t be the most difficult case he’s ever had to crack.

“I. .” you croaked under his scrutiny, and suddenly found yourself whispering, “I feel tricked.”

“Tricked?” he prompted easily,

“Well I - I thought that I was only going to see Gemma, and next thing I know she’s shoving me out the door to load up with this boy I’ve only spoken to once in my whole life, to go - to go have sex with him and I just. . Sam I feel tricked.” a beat passed where you looked back to your knees and wiped a sneaky tear away.

When Sam spoke, he was much closer,

“Did you want it to happen?” the way he sounded, so dead calm, told you that whatever you said next was life or death. For Blue.

“Y-yes. I guess I did at the time. . but not like that, and not so soon.” when you looked up, Sam was watching you intently from the center of the kitchen, “I f-feel dirty.” Sam’s face of chiseled stone crumbled into ruin with those three words serving as the wrecking ball, and in the blink of an eye he was directly in front of you, a huge hand on each knee.

“And what do you want now?” his voice was low and soothing, his eyes back to deep pools of comfort,

“I - I want to go see Gemma and scream at her - I want to go back in time and call you to come get me. .” you hiccuped and wiped another tear, “I want. . I want to talk to my mom.” and then you broke down and slid off of the counter into Sam’s strong chest where you sobbed out every pent up emotion.

If your mother was here you could tell her every little thing that frightened you about this situation, everything that made your heart flutter, stomach churn, and voice squeak, but with Sam - or Dean for that matter - this topic felt like peeling fingernails.

How could you tell this six and a half foot monster Hunter that you were afraid to lose your virginity, or that you weren’t sure how to say no? How could he understand the way Blue’s smile made you light up? How could you convey to him that you felt betrayed, yet empowered by this whole experience?

If it's all so confusing to me, how the hell can I expect Sam to understand?

“What would you say to her if she were here?” he asked the perfect question and it almost made you laugh, but it would have come off slightly hysterical.

“So many things. .” you sputtered into his chest. That shirt would be ruined. “First of all, I would ask her how I’m supposed to make it through my first birthday alone. .” you sucked in a huge jagged breath, trying not to think about the day bearing down on you like a freight train.

“Hey. You are not alone         . Never.” Sam began to smooth a hand up and down your back in a soothing fashion, “Dean and I will always be here for you no matter what happens. This being a perfect example.” he pried you off of him and steered you out of the kitchen, to the war table, with an indisputable hand on your shoulder.

With a spinning mind and a gnawing in your gut at where this was going, you were promptly plopped into a chair, before Sam drug his own out to sit directly in front of you.

He leaned forward, propping his hands on his knees and looking like an attentive golden retriever waiting for his master’s command. When you didn’t say a word, he lifted a hand in encouragement and gave a wide eyed nod,

“Go ahead. Ask me anything, tell me anything, nothing is off limits right now, you have my word.” your expression must have been guarded, because he reached out and placed a warm hand on your bouncing knee.  “It’s okay.” he assured with a nod, and something about that stare made you believe him.

So swallowing thickly, you tried to piece together the things that were bouncing around your swamped mind,

“Okay. . Um have you. .” God your face was flaming already and you’d only said three words,

“Go on.” he prompted you after a moment,

“Have you uh, oh God this is super weird,” you fidgeted, and decided to ask the question in one impulsive spew, “Have you ever taken a girl’s virginity?”

“Yes.” he answered without blinking. Holy shit this guy is made of stone. . could he really not be embarrassed about this? For fuck’s sake you felt like you were about to explode from sheer awkwardness alone. Sam looked unperturbed. In fact he added after a moment, “Dean too.” you couldn’t meet his eye,

“How many?” there was a pause then, but it was only because he was thinking,

“Three.” you swallowed,

“And Dean?” Sam snorted, and you were so tense that it made you jump,

“I’ve lost count.” that answer actually made you giggle, and Sam finally took his hand from your knee and sat back in his chair to grin at you - the guy had a way of making you relax that was for sure.

“And. .” you ventured, “how was it?” when he raised an eyebrow you quickly clarified, “F-for her I mean! For her.” and it was like the root of your worries finally dawned on him, because his mouth opened in a little ‘O’ of understanding and he sat up a little straighter.

“This is something that’s been bothering you?” he watched you nod and squinted his big eyes a little in sympathy, “Have you ever considered the possibility that you might not be ready?” a swallow and a fidget later, you asked him,

“How will I feel when I’m ready?” Sam offered you a soft smile,

“Not like this,” he had to be right. . after all something so intimate and personal shouldn’t feel so criminal. At least you didn’t think so. “There shouldn’t be fear. .” he looked to be recalling something, “at least not to this extreme.”

“Were the girls you were with. . um. . were they scared too?” now it was clear that Sam was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable for the first time during this conversation,

“Well. . yes but not like this. At least I don’t think so -” he sighed fretfully, rubbing a hand through his hair, “When the time is right, when you’re really ready, you won’t feel so conflicted. It will just happen as easily as breathing. . and it will feel. . right. There shouldn’t be a doubt in your mind.” you nodded, absorbing his words,

“Honestly           , you’re only 15, it isn’t exactly unheard of for a girl your age to not be ready for sex.” he laughed suddenly, “I mean ask Dean, he’s been rejected by a 20 year old virgin before.” you laughed but shook your head,

“I can’t even believe I’m talking to you about this Sam. .” his smile faded into a soft pleasant expression,

“All I’m trying to say is that it’s all about what you’re comfortable with. Sex isn’t fun unless you’re ready for it, and I’m really hoping that you’ll wait until then.” the way he was looking at you, so honest and dire, there wasn’t a cell in your body that could say no to Sam.

He was making this the easiest decision in the world. . if only I could feel this confident about waiting when I'm with Blue.

“But what if Blue. . -”

He cut you off with a gentle raise of his hand, “If he really is the right one, he’ll respect you for whatever you decide. He’ll wait for as long as you need to.”

“Would you? Would you wait, I mean. If someone like me asked you to?” your question seemed to bring him up short and he floundered for a moment before finally landing on an answer,

“Me? Not in high school to be honest, but I did wait for one girl - the one that I really cared about when I left for college.” you were quiet because it looked like Sam was being pulled into the past, and that past looked painful for him to recall.

“W-was it Jess?” you whispered, knowing even before his eyes burned into you that you were correct. Sam told you about Jess during one of your late night cuddle sessions when you both couldn’t sleep, he must’ve thought you would forget.

But how could you forget such a tragic love story as that?

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, “Of course I would wait for her. I would’ve done anything for her.” but then he paused and tilted his head, something anchored him back to the present and he took on a troubled expression,

“           , what do you mean ‘someone like you’?” Depressed, insecure, lonely, scared, unsure. . the list could roll across the room there buddy.

“I don’t know it just slipped out. .” you whispered, avoiding his eye, instead choosing to focus on your twiddling thumbs. Sam however, didn’t seem ready to let the subject go.

Instead he leaned back forward and pulled your chair close enough that your knees were touching his, and tilted your face up with a firm hand on your chin. His liquid hazel eyes flitted around your features, cataloguing every emotion with an expert regard, and then he told you,

“You are beautiful, smart, kind, and valuable.” he squeezed your chin when you tried to look away from his intense stare,

“You are good,           . A little rebellious, yes, but good regardless - the world is dark. Dean and I know that better than most, but we have a light now. A bright glowing light in this sea of darkness, and do you know where it comes from?” you swallowed, feeling the familiar burn behind your eyes.

Fuck this guy knows how to really turn a phrase. .

“Sam. .” it was a pleading whisper, you weren’t sure how much more you could take from the worn out Hunter. The Winchesters never spoke to anyone like this - except maybe each other - and it was making your chest ache, the realization that Sam was doing this solely out of love for you. Because somehow he knew that you needed it.

God did you need it.

“You.” he murmured low, swiping his long index finger up to catch a quiet tear on your cheek, he shifted his big hand so he was cupping your face, “The light comes from you         . To us you're worth so much, and someday there will be someone else who needs that kind of glow, who will appreciate it like we do.”

A long heavy beat of silence passed where your tears leaked onto the curve of his palm, until he finally lurched forward and pulled you into what had to be the tightest hug in the history of humanity.

“Where is my Sam Winchester?” the playful words were muffled into his flannel, “Why the hell is he so hard to find?” the laugh you got rumbled on your face and you fought the urge to crawl all the way into his lap, even though he most likely would allow it.

“Careful what you wish for.” when you pulled back slightly his laughing smile was almost blinding, to a degree where once again you thought of how it might have been before you came with them. After all, people who rarely ever smile, tend to have the most beautiful ones.

The wink that he shot you was solely done to let you know he’d caught you staring, and it made you giggle like a baby as he heaved you both from your chairs,

“You hungry yet?” As if to answer, your stomach rumbled uproariously and your face burned as your legs moved double time to match his long strides to the kitchen. Still in sort of a daze from your risky heart to heart, you struggled to keep up with his simple orders to finish the pie while he started dinner, and your flooded mind was the main culprit of your tactless insecure divulge,

“So you aren’t gonna tell Dean right?” only when Sam abruptly stopped speaking and glanced over at you from his steaks, did you realized you had even interrupted him. Or that he was even talking. Wow. “S-sorry, I just really don’t want him to find out - he’ll. . I mean he might -”

“Kill you?” Sam offered with a dry chuckle and you paled, pausing the kneading of your pie dough, “Yeah you got that right.”

“So are you?” you whispered a little shakily, “Gonna tell him?” at the tremble in your voice, Sam finally dropped his taunting act and took pity,

“Alright let’s make a deal,” you nodded quickly, “we keep this little talk to ourselves - hell I won’t mention it again if you don’t want - all you have to do is one little thing for me.”

“Okay Sam, anything!” you practically begged, face flaming when he smirked,

“If you promise me you’ll be honest with Blue. Tell him how you really feel about all of this no matter how stupid it sounds coming out. .” you gulped, “Can you do that?”

“Y. .yeah Sam I think so.” truthfully you weren’t so sure, but there was no way you would refuse with how easily you had gotten off the hook. Something told you that if Dean found out about all of this, a few tearful apologies wouldn't make him roll quite so quickly.

“Perfect. Also you have to get up early and come on a run with me tomorrow. That P.E. class is only getting closer you know.” your eyes bugged,

Well fuck.

As you suspected Dean was overly excited to hear that pie was in store for him after dinner.

Usually you observed his endearing over reaction regarding the giant glorified pastry with an unbidden smile, for there weren’t many things Dean loved more than pie. His brother for one, sex for two, alcohol for three. . and well now you yourself rounded it off to a solid four.

Four things Dean loved more than pie.

It was a flattering list to be on indeed.

However tonight was different. You were on edge and Sam could sense it, which put him on edge - so where there was usually good-natured teasing or loving little side comments during dinner, it was only quiet. Save for Sam and Dean's clipped discussions - it sounded like they had a hunt coming up in the next couple of days.

You cringed at the memory of what happened to you last time you tagged along on one of those. . and then cringed again when you thought about the possibility of being left behind. I don't want to be alone. . Perhaps you should have asked about it, but your mind was reeling on other things. Like boys named after colors.

Even when Dean fan-girled over the the apple pie currently cooling in the other room you still remained in your daze. . . You came to attention at the sound of his throat clearing though, and he was already staring at you suspiciously,

“I asked you if you had a good time at Gemma’s. .?” he trailed with a raised brow, and you could feel Sam staring daggers into the side of your face from the opposite head of the table,

“Y-yeah it was alright. .” you shrugged and went back to picking at your untouched meal,

“Well I’d ask what you ladies did, but seeing as there is only one lady out of the duo it wouldn’t seem fitting.” he snickered to himself while Sam seemed to choke on something out of view - secrets perhaps.

Dean’s smile faltered when you didn’t join in his laughter, and he opened his mouth like he was about to speak when Sam suddenly lurched up from the table,

“I’ll - I’ll go get that pie then -” he grabbed your still-full plate and hurried out of the room. You had been abandoned. Coward. Dean watched the door to the kitchen swing long after Sam’s retreat, his lips pursed in a thoughtful pout as he fiddled with his fork low in his lap,

“That’s strange,” he muttered, glancing down at the piece of silverware. . the very sharp piece of silverware. . your brain supplied. Thanks brain, you backstabbing bitch.

“Wh-what’s strange?” you wished Sam hadn’t taken your food, because now you had nothing to mess with out of pure anxiety.

Dean rolled his head back up to meet your timid gaze, “Oh, just that my baby brother never gets that jumpy unless he’s hiding somethin’ from me.” you gulped and he shifted forward to prop his elbows on the table, fork still in hand,

“And you look just about as nervous as a bird in a cathouse, so -” he actually huffed a little laugh before taking a swig of his beer, “Whatcha hidin’ from me sweetheart?” you could only gape at him, his mildly dour expression made you forget to breathe,

“I - I -” the kitchen door slammed open, and you actually yelped in surprise, but Dean’s whole demeanor changed when he saw a slice of the piping hot dessert that his brother laid out in front of him.

“Oh ho ho,” he rumbled, zeroing in on the steaming apple as if it was his newborn child. Jesus this guy. Sam took his seat, pushing a slice your way and nodded at you knowingly - something told you this wouldn’t be the last time Sam saves your life.

The moan Dean let out upon tasting your dessert was porn worthy for sure and it made you giggle, which earned you a sideways glance from a barely open eye.

“Makin’ fun o’v me baby girl?” the words were slurred with pie, and you couldn’t help but laugh some more. Dean was literally a teddy bear at the moment. After an audible swallow the eldest brother heaved himself up from his chair and casually swaggered forth, “She make this Sammy?”

He looked at you while he spoke, and you were never comfortable being Dean’s center of attention - especially when he had that look on his face.

“Yeah.” Sam was already muffling laughter. Oh no this isn’t good.

“Well sweetheart,” he leered, “that’s gotta be the best damn pie I’ve ever tasted, and you know what happens to women who can cook, right?” you blushed and tried your best to hold eye contact, but of course failed. Dean had no boundaries when it came to embarrassing people.

“Wha -” you were cut off out of nowhere by full lips on yours. OH FUCK! The sloppy smooch only lasted about two seconds, and caused you to squeal with surprise right on Dean’s lips. He pulled back with an obnoxious smacking noise,

“They get kissed.” he enlightened you. Sam’s laughter could barely be heard over the rushing of blood in your ears, and all you could do was sit there, mouth open, staring at this giant childish son of a bitch.

Dean cracked up finally, and in an effort to save face you rolled your lips together, informing him after a moment of licking them,

“You’re right, the pie does taste good.” which earned you bouts of brutish laughter from these so-called men. Overgrown children is more like it. Inside you felt strange. . like you needed to scream to stop yourself from exploding.

“Ooh fuck, seriously what’d you put in here girl?” Dean had already sat back down and was digging in like nothing had happened. Maybe kissing me on the lips really isn't a big deal to him. It was just a short peck. . --

“We’re getting married you an’ me -” he spoke through mouthfuls of warm apple and crumbly crust, “Sammy, can I marry a 15 year old? Three years is a pretty long wait.” you snorted loudly at his over-praise and announced,

“I’m pretty tired guys, I think I’ll turn in early if that’s alright.” Sam shrugged, looking at you with a strange furrow, like he knew something you didn’t.

“It’s Dean’s night anyway, so it doesn’t bother me. I’ll put your slice in the fridge for tomorrow.” As soon as you stood up, your feet were swept out from under you and the sudden falling sensation made you scream,

“Whoa I gotcha,” Dean chuckled, hoisting you into his arms with ease,

“Dean!” you griped, still not used to how easily these two men could pick you up and move you around like it was nothing. “Put me down!”  he spun you so swiftly that you squealed and kicked, of course it only spurred on his laughter. Dumb jerk. .

“Not a chance doll face, you and I gotta consummate the marriage!” he bellowed on a laugh, beginning to march toward the hallway entrance with you in his arms like a newlywed,

“Dean!” you screeched again, "Knock it off you big dummy!" burying your flaming face in the soft fabric of his flannel, you heard Sam distantly behind you say something like,

“Dude. Way too far.” but spirits were still high and it seemed like you were the only one who was really shocked by Dean’s theatrics. Deep down though, you knew that it was just Dean being. . well, Dean. Right? Right.

The journey to his room was short with how fast he was walking, and you shrieked when he tossed you onto his bed like a sack of potatoes.

The big man threw your night shorts and tank top at you before he started shedding his clothing, and you found yourself sitting in the middle of the bed as you watched him fluidly strip down to his boxers, with admittedly nervous eyes.

Just like he did every night. Only now it felt different.

“Dean?” he froze half naked in front of you, blinking with his foot halfway out of his jeans,

“Uh, yeah?” okay now you felt like an idiot for feeling the way you did. . it was probably just because of everything that happened today. Yeah. That’s what it is. . I’ve just had a very sexual day. Still, your mouth ran without your permission,

“You were just kidding about all of that stuff, right?” he only continued to blink, mouth slightly agape, “I mean. . you kissed me on the lips.” when it dawned on him where your concerns lie, the green eyed Hunter’s laugh sort of sounded like a wheeze and his open mouth stretched up into a huge wolfish grin,

“Oh sugar, you know I’m only fuckin' around. .” he chuckled, finally escaping his denim prison, “I mean it’s not like - wait.” he became totally serious all of a sudden.

“W-what?” you whispered,

“Don’t tell me I stole your first kiss. .” he laughed once and then stopped abruptly, pointing from the edge of the mattress, “I didn’t did I?” Well you were only about two hours too late there cowboy. .

“No.” you muttered sheepishly and his smile was back full force as he climbed into bed with you. The boxer clad man gasped dramatically like a cast member from Mean Girls,

“You little whore!” but he was laughing, even as you attacked him with a barrage of slaps on his way under the covers

“Shut up!” you giggled, likely turning beet red. Dean knew you were a virgin - you’d shouted it in the bathroom yesterday - he was just being an ass. Hell Blue knew you were a virgin before you even said anything so it was likely that Dean knew from the start as well, for fuck’s sake you still wore pink heart underwear all the time.

In fact, Dean himself was eyeing those exact panties once you shimmied out of your leggings beside him,

“Don’tcha want your shorts?” he asked after a few seconds of studying the childish bright designs,

“Nah I’m good in this.” he narrowed his eyes in a pondering fashion just before you turned your back on him and allowed yourself to be pulled backward.

Per usual, you both snuggled in close to each other, one of his big arms draped over your middle and one under your head acting as a pillow.

“Night Dean,” you whispered. He roughly cleared his throat,

“Hey         ,” he rarely ever used your real name, so it brought you to attention pretty fast, “If I ever go too far with the teasing, just let me know alright? I don’t want to freak you out or anything. .” Well now you felt like an asshole.

“No Dean it’s really okay, I’m just being extra sensitive today is all. Everything with Blue has got me in a twist.” Dean stiffened to the point that his arms constricted and you realized your mistake years too late. “I - I mean -”

“What the fuck does that mean?” he growled. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!

“N-nothing! I didn’t mean anything by it -” he crushed your lungs with a constricting bicep to keep you from babbling, “Ahh Dean -”

“Don’t you lie to me girl - you’re a shit liar.” his tone was so low it made your bladder come to life, and your eyes began to water in the white hot panic that came with crossing Dean.

“No I’m n-not lying!” you pled, wriggling in his uncomfortable hold, “I just really like him and it’s stressing me out - y-you can ask Sam! We talked about it!” his arms relaxed a little around you,

“But you said today.”

“I was just talking about being stressed today, I didn’t see him or anything. . that would be crazy, and not to mention breaking your rules.” it panged your chest, outright lying to the man like that.

He thought the world of you for crying out loud. . The rugged Hunter’s entire body relaxed on a humongous sigh, and you worked to make yours do the same,

“Alright. .” he muttered sleepily, “Uh. . sorry. .” you felt his lips push a little kiss onto the back of your neck and the warmth made you shiver,

“S’okay.” you whispered. Sorry for breaking your rules and keeping you in the dark. .

Like he usually did, Dean fell asleep next to you rather quickly, eager to enjoy slumber uninterrupted by his usual nightmares. However for once it took you a long time to fall asleep in his embrace - but when you did it was fitful.

You hated keeping things from the Winchesters. It never led anywhere good.

~~ 

“Trust me.” Blue whispered huskily and ducked low to kiss your throat. Your dream seemed to be replaying what happened between you and the 18 year old to a T.

“ B - Blue . .” you whined, feeling a little insecure about what your body was doing,

“Feel good?” he breathed, nipping your pulse point gently,

“I - I -” but wait. . something was wrong. Something didn’t feel right. An unsettling air clouded over the dream, and you started to pull back a little from the things his fingers were doing in your pants.

“Wait -” you whined, grabbing at his hands, but instead of complying the large boy rolled over top of you and continued his ministrations. Only now it felt rather painful.

“ OW Blue stop it!” you cried, wrestling with him uselessly. He had you pinned, and he was chuckling this low inhuman chuckle that made your heart kick up.

“Oh little chicklet’s got a pure soul. . you smell like candy to me girl - I could just eat you up.” your breath was coming out jagged, and he pinched on your sensitive folds until you were screaming in the dream.

When he pulled off of you his familiar face took on a look of sick delight at your tears. You began to sob.

“Aw don’t cry . .” he leered, pulling at your sex in an extremely uncomfortable fashion,

AH Blue please !” and then it happened. Blue’s eyes eclipsed with an inky blackness that you’d only seen one other time. The night your parents burned. “NO!”

Someone was shouting your name in the field, someone was searching for you -

“Help me! Please help me!” Blue’s face was one of nightmares, his white teeth seemed to be glistening against the endless black in his eyes. “No -o-o!” you sobbed, screaming and thrashing in an effort to get him off - he started shaking you. The pain between your legs was scarring. And it was only growing.

“            !” your name was screamed again in the field, this time much closer, “           , wake up! Come on wake up!” the deep rough voice was yelling frantically,

“Help!” you squealed again. Blue brought his fingers up to his face, and you screamed when you realized the two digits were covered in sticky crimson. Blood. Yours.

“Your soul.” he whispered evilly, “We want it. And you should know chicklet, I get what I want.” and then he drew back and slapped you so hard you snapped your eyes closed. 

~~

The air changed, it felt somehow easier to breathe. And it was like you could hear the man on top of you breathing more clearly than before. . feel him a lot more. Thank God the pain between your thighs was gone. .

“No, no, no please don’t hurt me!” you wailed between sobs, “Stop please stop!”

“           . .” that wasn’t Blue. Fluttering your eyelids open revealed Dean hovering over you, both hands clutching your shoulders like he had been shaking you. . A dream. . it was just a dream. .

“D-Dean. .!” you wailed softly, grasping at his arms until he levered down to wrap you up. Your cheek was really stinging, and your jaw ached. . Dean must’ve really slapped me.

“Shh, shh, sweetheart you’re okay - it’s okay, I’m here. .” he squeezed you tighter as you sobbed, “I’ve got ya. . shh, shh. .” you cried until there were simply no more tears, and then you just shook and heaved, but Dean was patient.  He just held you and rocked you, murmuring comforting things and reassurances until you stopped vibrating so horribly.

“Just a nightmare, it was only a nightmare baby girl. . You’re alright, you’re safe here. I won’t let em’ get you.”

“Dean. .” you mewled, pushing you face harder into his warm bare chest,

“What is it sweetheart?” he smoothed your hair back methodically, anchoring you to him with a hand on your back.

“Th-there was a demon - Dean, Blue was a d-demon!” he squeezed you tighter,

“I was just a dream -”

“NO! No it wasn’t a just a dream - it - it felt so real! He - I - oh God he was hurting me and - and told me he wanted my soul. .” you broke off into another crying fit, until Dean rumbled with a growl. It clearly wasn't directed at you though.

“Do you think you can go back to sleep?” that seemed like an absurd thing to ask right now. What, were you inconveniencing him with your hysterical breakdown?

“N -no.” you hiccuped truthfully, “Dean it was so awful. .” of course you couldn’t tell him why it was so awful - that would involve admitting that you had snuck off with Blue to be intimate. So in other words that was a no go.

You knew from eavesdropping that Dean was fully aware of your crippling fear of demons, so you were immensely grateful when he said,

“Alright kid, we don’t have to go back to sleep.” he didn’t sound too happy, but then again who would be? After another few minutes of coaxing your tears back into hiding, Dean spoke softly to himself, “So we won’t sleep.”

You watched him, confusion shining through your wide teary eyes and the eldest Winchester watched you hiccup and snivel for a moment before seemingly coming to a secret decision in his head.

When he pecked you on the forehead and untangled himself to rise you reached out for him,

“No! No don’t leave Dean!” God the way he looked at you was borderline heartbroken, tilting his head and grimacing helplessly, “Please don’t leave me alone. .”

“M’not leavin’ ya baby girl, I’ve gotta go wake up Sam. I’ll be back before you know it.” you sobbed once and curled up tight in the blankets,

“W-why do you need to wake up Sam?” you sucked in snot from your nose, “Just stay with me, please?” as if he was unable to do anything else, Dean knelt beside the bed and laid a heavy hand over your waist,

“We’re gonna play a little game, you me and him.” he whispered, “Me and Sammy used to play it when we couldn’t go back to sleep - it’s been a long time since we’ve done it, but I think you need it.” you could barely see him, due to the darkness and your tears, but both of your hands were latched onto his.

He was still caressing your hip tenderly.

“A game?” you asked meekly, throat rough from sobbing,

“Yeah sweetheart, a game. It’ll distract you, make you tired, and then you can go back to sleep. Dad used to make us play it to improve our stealth skills, but for you it’ll just be for fun.” it all sounded so bizarre, but the way Dean was speaking let you know that there was no room for argument on your part. . really he was just speaking normally.

No one ever got to argue with Dean. Unless they were brave like Sam, or clueless like Castiel. The man smiled softly at you.

“Get dressed. Bundle up sweetheart, it’s cold outside.”

You had a bad feeling about this.

Chapter Text

You couldn’t believe the brothers actually drug you out into the night in the middle of freaking winter.

Your tears started freezing to your face before you even hit the grass on the last step out the door - you grumbled when you thought about what Dean had said in response to your whining.

“Good enough reason to quit blubberin’ as any.” Freakin’ jerk. It was sound logic though, and you did manage to stop crying after a few moments braving the arctic Kansas night. Now you were just shivering of cold.

Why the hell didn’t Dean let me put on that fourth layer?

~

“I can’t believe you actually slapped me in the face. .” Dean glanced at you as he hoofed it up the stairs by your side, he had been acting strange since dinner - especially after your nightmare. . and you had a nagging feeling that he was putting together your little lie puzzle piece by piece.

There were a few things you knew about Dean for sure, and one of them was that he was super fucking smart - very smart - even though it was clear that he didn't think so himself.

The man's answer was almost bored, “Quit rubbing it, you’re making it worse.” Sam piped up from two steps behind,

“That’s nothing anyway, one time I had to punch him in the face three times to get him out of a nightmare.” you cringed,

“And it didn’t even wake me up, it just knocked me out cold. No dreams when you’re under like that.” and then he leaned in sideways, hopping up the final step with you to the door, “In other words sweetheart, you’re being a little pussy.”

You gasped, shoving him through the door that he was opening, “Dean! I am not a p-pu- that!” you growled with irritation at not being about to spit the crass word out,

“Hear that Sammy? Our girl doesn’t think she’s bein’ a p-p-pussy.” both men laughed at your expense,

“Shut up. .” you muttered quietly. There was just no winning with the brothers sometimes. Even though you were wearing three solid layers and long underwear beneath your jeans, as soon as you stepped out into the Kansas winter night with Dean, the chill made your face ache.

However to avoid being called a pussy again, you kept it to yourself. Both Winchesters bounced at the glacial temperatures, simultaneously blowing out lungfuls of air that visibly condensed by the industrial porch light of the Bunker.

“Light?” Sam asked,

“Oh right,” Dean dug a heavy duty flashlight out of the back of his jeans, because for some reason the Winchesters alway keep everything in their ass. . or at least it seems that way. Guns, knives, now flashlights. . Give me a break.

Together the three of you skipped down the cement stairs that your five pumpkins were still rotting away on from Halloween - Dean insisted on keeping them for target practice - and waltzed out into the gravel road. You were already shivering. When you Dean led the way in the direction of the forest, your stomach dropped.

“Okay so. . explain the rules one more time.” Dean threw his head back into an aggravated groan, causing his flashlight beam to sway off of the gravel road. At the moment you were low key hedging closer and closer to Sam, who seemed to be radiating warmth beneath that damn dark green jacket.

If he noticed, which he likely did since you were basically walking on his boots, the gentle giant wasn’t saying a thing about it.

Hmmm, I wonder if he’d carry me? Better not push it.

“Jesus princess, it’s pretty cut and dry. Cas is gonna hide a flag somewhere in the forest here -" he swept his beam over the nearing dark trees, "- and you gotta find it before Sammy an’ me.”

You pushed your lip out into a pout and opened your mouth to whine only to be cut off by Dean himself mimicking your voice, “I don’t wanna, it’s cold, I’m a baby. . yeah, yeah, yeah we know.” he laughed deeply when you shoved him,

“Shut up ass head.” you grumbled like a toddler, folding your arms across your chest against the December bite. The look Dean shot you, let you know that he wasn’t too impressed with ‘ass head’, but luckily Sam piped in before he could roast you.

“It’s just a game, it’s supposed to be fun.” Sam actually looked a little grumpy himself in his three layers and droopy eyes. Apparently no one appreciated the three a.m. wake up call to come outside and flounce around the woods.

Honestly though, there was no way you were getting back to sleep after that dream, Dean was right, so maybe you should thank him for his selfless distraction. You might if he wasn’t being such a brat.

If you were feeling really brave, or stupid, you might pose a gentle inquiry to one Dean Winchester pondering the possible correlation between his distaste for his father and this miserable fucking game.  You smirked on the outside, but trembled on the inside when you imagined his reaction to a poke like that.

He’d bite for sure. You can only poke a bear so hard. . .

“Okay,” you started, deciding on life as you blindly followed endearing bowlegs off of the road and toward the dark forest, “so what do I get if I win?” Dean’s shoulders shook with a laugh and you could hear Sam’s deep chuckle rumble up behind you.

You only silently fumed as you trudged on between them. Keep your cool, they want you to freak out.

“Oh you won’t be winning sweetheart.” Dean glanced back before finally coming to a stop just on the edge of the forest. It looked so much more creepy at night, and you were only just now beginning to realize that you were going to have to go in there alone.

Don’t imagine monsters, don’t imagine monsters. . .

“I want Sam on my team.” you declared, earning a raised brow from both Hunters, and a smirk from Dean,

“         , there are no teams. .” Sam gently reminded you, even though you were fully aware,

“Are you guys seriously going to make me go in there alone after having a nightmare? About demons? Seriously?” you could see your breath huffing out into the air in clouds as you got more and more worked up,

“Believe it sister,” Dean handed you his flashlight, “keep that off unless you really need it. Remember, you lose if me or Sam catch you.”

“And you lose if I catch you right?” again they both laughed in your face, and this time they leaned back into it. Yeah, I’m a regular fucking comedian. Sam answered rather breathlessly,

“Sure         , sure. We lose if you catch us.” you glared at the tallest man, feeling a little betrayed in the fact that he was picking on you alongside his brother,

“Winner gets a foot rub.” you announced, and Dean’s eyebrows shot up in the moonlight,

“Sweetheart, I only give out foot rubs when I know I’m gonna get laid.” you suspected that he was trying to fluster you in an effort to take your eyes off of the prize, which was a foot rub from one of those big sets of hands. Fat chance. Your eyes were staying glued to that fucking prize for sure.

“Well I guess that just depends on the quality of the foot rub handsome.” you snapped and swiftly turned to march into the forest, with Sam’s startled laughter on your tail.

“Shut the fuck up Sammy.” Dean grumbled before calling after you, “We’ll give you a two minute head start - don’t get too scared in there little girl!” As soon as you stepped past the first pine tree, it felt like the forest was closing in around you, but you kept the flashlight off and managed to push down a significant amount of nerves as you walked on.

There was no way you were gonna let Sam and Dean see what a coward you were so early on, especially after that badass exit - however there was no denying that the woods were only getting darker with every step. . and that nightmare was only getting fresher in your mind.

Dammit. Damn them. Damn Dean, damn Sam, and damn fucking Castiel wherever his winged ass is fluttering around in here! Wait. . there’s an idea. .

Keeping your voice low, so as to not get caught, you whispered, “Cas? Castiel. . . Can you hear me?”

There was some comfort in the fact that the brothers would be somewhere in the woods with you, because no matter what, as long as they were within earshot, nothing bad could ever happen to you.

To derive courage, you turned back to find Sam and Dean watching from the edge of the trees, barely illuminated by waning moonlight, but enough that you could see Dean’s hand come up in a little wave.

“Gettin’ scared already babe?” his voice sounded far off, echoing one each tree as it bounced up to you. Instead of giving him a verbal answer you thrust your own hand up to the sky and flipped him the bird before turning back to the yawning darkness.

Dean’s deep laughter seemed eerie in the night.

The woods were quiet. Very quiet. So quiet that your breathing seemed loud as you planted step after step into the frosted ground. Part of you was wishing that when Dean had asked, you would have just tried to go back to sleep, since all you could think of was a hot shower and warm bed sheets.

However as the road faded further and further into the background, it was becoming clear why Dean didn't let you put on a fourth layer. For one, movement was already fairly restricted with three, and for two you had begun sweating despite the cold. It was strange, to be hot and cold at the same time. . and pretty uncomfortable to be honest. 

Once more you looked back at the road. You had come so far already that it was unclear where the trees really ended, but you could tell that the Winchesters had abandoned their spot on the edge of the woods. No longer watching you. Or maybe they still were. You shivered.

Even though it was only Sam and Dean, it was still creepy. 

Okay don't be afraid. . everything is fine. . 

The thing was, you never really thought about just how dark a forest could get in the night. Why would you? So when Dean explained this strange game so eloquently within the confines of the Bunker, you really didn't give the conditions a second thought.

However, submersed into this nighttime jungle as you were now, it was all you could think about.

Shadows seemed to be moving, and if you thought about it for more than a few seconds, you could swear that a person was standing only a few paces up ahead. . only to disappear in the blink of an eye.

It's probably just Sam and Dean messing with me. . Keep cool. .

Sudden skittering of a surprised squirrel startled you so violently that you stepped wrong and slipped on a small ice puddle. You managed to take the fall with only a grunt, but gave in to your stubborn misery and flopped down the rest of the way onto your back. A quiet giggle made you stiffen.

A giggle. Not a laugh. No way. .

"Hello. .?" you called very softly, and of course received no answer. Why would you? There was no little girl in here. That would be crazy. Nevertheless, you hurriedly got to your feet, trying not to look any one direction for more than a second. Trying not to really see anything at all just in case something terrifying decided to make an appearance.

"It's okay. . I'm okay. ." you repeated. Despite your best efforts, your traitorous brain conjured up the most frightening image of a creepy little zombie girl following behind you. Red eyes and all.

You whimpered, feeling panic well up into your throat as you sped up and prayed to run into Sam. Not Dean now. Sam.

“          .”

“AHH!” you whirled around to find. . nothing. That was a voice. Someone said my name! “Wha. .” you turned in a full circle at least twice, but found no one. You were alone. Okay, I'm going crazy. That's alright, that's totally fine. .

Now, as you turned to start walking again, you had a mental image of an entire zombie family following you with creepy sluggish movements through the trees. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

And a deep, oddly familiar voice muttered again,

“           .” you froze. This can't be happening.

“Who’s there?” it was a frightened whisper, worthy of a horror documentary. No matter how hard you strained your eyes, there wasn’t a soul in sight. “Hello?” you whimpered quietly, praying Dean wasn’t in earshot. If he heard you having a mental break after only 20 minutes in the woods, you would never live it down.

“          , it’s Castiel.” you whirled again so quickly that your (h/c) ponytail whipped you in the eye.

“Cas?” a hum of agreement sounded, “Where are you?” you were both parts relieved and creeped out.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you were becoming rather frightened out here alone,” he informed you. Yeah no shit. “So I’m speaking to your mind. Perhaps it will ease your fears.” Aw well that is. . that’s actually pretty sweet.

“It would help even more if you were actually here with me. .” you ventured, wrapping your arms around yourself,

“No teams.” he echoed Sam’s rule earlier and you rolled your eyes,

“You too, huh? Figures. . .” there was no denying that hearing an Angel’s voice was putting you at ease. It was like a phone call really. Then an idea sparked, “You hid the flag right?” there was guarded silence, “Cas?”

“I do not condone cheating, Sam and Dean are testing your stealth and agility. . among other things. It would be wrong to interfere.” wait a minute. .

“They’re testing me?” you asked, “I thought this was just a distraction because I had a nightmare! Those bastards!” why would they be testing me. . .?

“I’m not sure why you’re angry. . both motives are solely for your benefit.”

“Sure except the part where I freeze to death out here! Or get eaten by a wolf - or stomped by a deer. . Dean should have just made me go back to sleep.” you knew that you were whining, but it was so cold outside, and so dark that you didn’t care.

“I am watching over you.”

“Just tell me where the fucking flag is!” you hissed loudly, likely appearing insane,

“Language.” he commented, “And that would be cheating         .” you could have roared,

“Cas! I’m cold dammit, and all I want to do is take a hot shower - plus these woods are freaking me out!” there was a long pause before a sigh,

“Again, language. You’ve been listening to Dean, haven’t you,” you waited, trudging along steadily, and hoping Cas would show you mercy. He sighed again, “You are headed directly for the flag, by my calculations it should only take about - oh.”

“What?” you snapped,

“I’m detecting a very strong heartbeat about 50 yards directly to your right, belonging to what could either be a substantially large human, or a small bear. I can only imagine it would be Sam.” you huffed an airy laugh. Cas could be so cute sometimes. “One of the objectives of this game is to disqualify other players correct?”

“Yeah. . I think that’s what Dean said.” the Angel hummed in your brain,

“Well since Sam is both physically stronger, and substantially faster than you, it would be in your best interest to take him out.” you outright laughed that time,

“Whatever you say 007,” you giggled, sensing when Castiel left your mind immediately. Always without a word.  

The journey to find Sam was short lived, seeing as it was difficult to really lose someone like him in the first place. When you spotted him, his back was to you and he was in a crouch, examining something on the ground like a regular fucking Bear Grills.

Tiptoeing as lightly as humanly possibly, you approached him, avoiding sticks and crunchy leaves with every gentle step. You likely looked ridiculous.

Okay quiet. . sneaky. . silent. . if I can surprise him, maybe -

“Hey          .” he muttered too casually, and you quickly straightened up before he turned to see your hilarious “creepin’” posture. Sam stood from his crouch, turning to you with so much presence that it made you naturally stumble back a fraction.

You cleared your throat before announcing, “I found you. You lose!” and you tagged him on the arm playfully, hoping that sense of uncertainty was just the fault of the dark forest. Sam had an amused lit to his features.

Oh great.

“You know, you aren't’ actually "caught" until the other player pins you. That’s how we used to play anyway.” your face paled, so for once you were thankful for the dark. Well fuck. . . Taking a roundabout step to the left, you put some much needed distance between you and the hulking Hunter,

“Oh yeah?” you shrilled, noting the way his eyes held an amused glint as he watched you take another step. When he moved purposely forward, you let out an embarrassing squeak and tuttered backward like a startled kitten. “You’re shitting me, right?”

“Nope.” he was doing a horrible job of stifling a laugh. See, you weren’t any stranger to how strong Sam really was. You had the liberty of losing many wrestling matches against both him and his brother, after giving it your all.

Plus that time he almost killed you in his sleep, was a huge contender in reminding you just how disadvantaged you really were in the Bunker. It would be embarrassing perhaps if you were even half the size of him. As it was though, you wore your relative weakness with pride - except for right now of course.

“But. .” Sam started, smile widening to the point of contagion, “you could always just pin me and win.” you stared at him,

“Well that’s fucking hilarious, thanks for the laugh.” you deadpanned, while he hissed a laugh before shrugging and advancing purposefully,

“Alright then,” he was so tall that you felt like you were falling backward with the angle you had to look up at him. You were falling backward. You fell right on your ass as soon as he got too close. Perfect.

“Ow. .” you whined, yelping when the giant wasted no time in falling to his knees over you and gripping at your shoulders, “Sam get off!” you screeched angrily. Picking at his hands seemed to have no effect other than making him laugh, and it was taking every ounce of abdominal strength to keep your shoulders off of the ground while he pushed seemingly gently.

It was infuriating. “D-damn it. .” you wheezed, latched onto his right elbow to keep yourself semi-upright. He was chuckling with a fond smile,

“You could at least try you know. . go down with some pride left.”

“I AM TRYING DAMMIT!!” you roared, rolling to your left and flinging your hands out to scratch at the ground in an effort to get out from under him. The twigs and leaves were rigid with frost, and they scraped at your palms, “Ugh I’m gonna KILL you Sam Winchester!” it was a promise.

“Ooh you’re so scary. .” he taunted, gripping your folded in shoulder and adjusting so that he was sitting on your waist. Sam was so huge that he seemed to be everywhere, and you had a moment of sheer ridiculous panic that the guy might crush you by accident.

Deciding that the only way you had a chance was to be scrappy, you immediately snapped your head to the side and bit his hand, “Fuck!” he rocked back, “You little shit!” it surprised you to hear him speak like that, but the need to escape won over humor.

Then the unthinkable happened.

In an effort to dislodge yourself from beneath Sam, your legs naturally kicked up. . and because of the angle that he was sitting at. . an knee connected with his precious cargo. Oops.

The man doubled over almost instantly, draping himself over you in such a way that his face landed right by your ear. He was wheezing.

“Oh God Sam! I’m so sorry!” you scrambled to untangle yourself, having a hard time not laughing. “Are you okay? Oh my God I really didn’t mean to! Are you -”

“Shhhhhhhhhhhh. . .” he hissed, clearly annoyed with your frantic babbling. And then genius struck. “What are you doing?” Sam growled, grunting as you shoved at his shoulder. Instead of answering, you squirmed your legs up so that your knees were pushing on his belly and heaved with all of you might.

“W-winning the game,” you panted, literally using your whole body to shove the heavy human up and off of you. He rolled to the side onto his back. Perfect. Wasting not another second, you flung yourself - jellied muscles and all - astride the beast of a man, stretching your legs around him just under his chest.

It was then that he came to his senses. Long corded arms snapped up and gripped your upper arms, keeping you at such a distance to where you couldn’t reach his shoulders if your life depended on it.

“You little cheat.” he panted, still in clear pain. For a moment you strained and struggled with him, trying to reach his shoulders and disqualify him by slamming them to the ground. Unfortunately you weren’t Captain America, and Sam basically was. Fortunately however, being small for your whole life taught you how to get creative.

Using Sam’s hold on your arms to your advantage, you hiked up your ass and swung both legs through the circle of his arms, effectively planting a foot on either of his shoulders.

This also rocked you back enough that any pressure he had on your arms was broken, and he was momentarily dead in the water as you bared down on him with the capacity of your entire lower body.

It might have looked funny: you laying on your back with your shoulders pressed down into Sam’s belly while your hips were raised up with the force of your determination to pin him. In fact, it may have looked like a couple’s workout. His abs were still solid and straining beneath your back, he wasn’t going down.

“Give up you bastard!” you gritted out, pushing with all of your might. Of course you should have seen the next move coming. After all hardly anyone could best a Winchester. Least of all a little girl like you.

Two huge hands wrapped around your knees and drug you up his body while you flailed.

“Shit!” Sam bucked his hips harshly upward, sending you catapulting with such force that you vaulted upright and basically kissed the ground right above his head. That however, wasn’t the most humiliating part, because now. . . you were straddling Sam’s face.  

“Ahh!” you shrieked, face blooming a heat that only increased when you felt Sam's breathy laughter right there. “SAM!” and with that declaration, you scrambled away from him, managing to break his grip on your thighs by luck alone, and wasted no time in sprint/stumbling away from the youngest Winchester.

His laughter chased you until you were out of earshot.

Okay. . I totally lost that round. 

Still you were feeling a little victorious at somehow managing to keep your shoulders off of the ground, thus staying in the game a little longer. After the tussle with Sam however, you were totally turned around. Castiel's directions were useless now.

"Cas? Hey, I need you again." No answer. "Okay fine but did you see that? I totally kicked Sam's ass!" so you were embellishing a little bit, but hey, you held your own for a second there.

After receiving only silence yet again, you began trudging in the direction that you thought the flag might be in. . even though you really had no clue. 

This time, since your eye was on the prize - a foot rub and infinite glory - you didn't bother yourself with such trivial things as creating your own scary movie plot in which you die in every scenario, no instead you were scanning the ground intently - hoping the flag was actually red since that was what you had been looking for.

Enveloped in the game (which really seemed like more of a drill conjured up by John Winchester) as you were, you quickly forgot to stay aware - one of the most important parts of the game according to Dean - which would explain why the thickening atmosphere was lost on you until it was almost suffocating. 

You were no longer alone.

Just like that.

It happened out of nowhere really, to you at least, your skin prickled and rose into tiny little goosebumps all along your neck, shoulders, and arms.

Someone was definitely watching you.

From somewhere in this pitch black forest there was a set of eyes on you, and it was more than unnerving. In fact, it was making your breath come out harsh, making your legs move faster out of the need to blindly get away from something that was thus far, invisible.

It was that jumping feeling in your gut, the sparking pooling one you get when you turn your back on a dark room. That one you get when you can picture some kind of horrifying monster creeping up behind you from the doorway.

Only now, you didn’t have the luxury of shaking your head and laughing at yourself, because there was a good chance that a monster was there.

So you lost the war with your mind and whirled around, coming to a stuttering stop with your back pressed against a tree. Squinting served no purpose really, that’s the kind of darkness you were dealing with here, so really all you could look for were shadows that turned out to be alive.

No wonder Dean made me wear white. What a dick.

The air seemed to compress, the equivalent to a song reaching climax in a horror movie, it was signaling a jump scare. You let out a soft whimper, and brought your arms up to your chest.

Directly into your right ear, the lowest of low murmurs brushed against the outer shell,

“Gotcha.”

“AHHH!” you whirled on shaky knees, breathing raggedly, your scream still echoing through the trees as you got a load of Dean’s shit eating grin in the barely illuminated darkness. “F-fuck Dean. . you son of a bitch!” you breathed, hating the way his smile grew at your uncharacteristic curse.

How the hell can he be so quiet?

“That’s a dollar in the swear jar.” he teased, finally stepping out fully from behind a wide tree trunk. Your heart was still pumping a mile a minute from feeling watched, “Gotta say, it took everything I had not to laugh watchin’ you stumble around the underbrush like a newborn filly. What’s the deal? Afraid of the dark?”

“Cut the shit Winchester,” you breathed harshly, placing your hands on your hips, “do I lose now or what?” he was leering, keeping his distance though, and you could tell by the naughty look on his face that this was about to go bad for you.

“Usin’ my last name again, huh?” he chuckled softly, ducking his head and stepping forward. The shadows caressed his features and made him look a little menacing, “You know, you get pretty fuckin’ cute when you’re angry sweetheart.” your mouth stayed closed for once when you took in a hint of darkness in his eyes, and he smirked.

Your face must’ve betrayed your uncertainty,

“Did you think I’d forgotten our little conversation at dinner?” oh crap. . here we go. .

“N-no.” you admitted so softly that the frigid breeze almost stole away your whisper. "Is. . is that why you've been acting so weird?" He nodded thoughtfully, pursing his lips and leisurely moving closer before tucking both hands into his jacket and rocking back on his heels.

“Well this little stroll in the woods has got my gears turnin, funny how the outdoors’ll do that to ya,” little stroll my ass. . Dean looked right at you, rolling his shoulders in a tight shrug, “So what’s the deal? Did you have a little dirty weekend with that boy from school or somethin’?” your throat caught, and you tried to keep your eyes from bugging.

How the fuck. . .?

“No! No way, I wouldn’t do that.” you insisted, stepping back from him when his frown deepened. He was quiet, and that was even more unnerving than when he spoke. So you started babbling,

“You - you know I wouldn’t break your rules, and - and if I did, why would I tell Sam? He’d probably go straight to you. . and - and you’re so scary when you're angry! P-please don’t be mad at me - I didn’t mean to! I -I mean - wait - I mean -”

“Didn’t mean to what?” this time when Dean stepped forward, it was with so much authority that you stumbled back from him, but he just kept coming. “You know somethin’ I hate kiddo? Secrets. And being lied to. So help me, if you and Sam are in cahoots about something, I’ll beat it outta ya.”

You covered your mouth with both hands, feeling your eyes burn as you stared pleadingly up at the towering Hunter. You remembered clear as day Dean’s few threats to take you over his knee when you’d crossed him, and his alarming word choice just now confirmed that this time you wouldn’t come out of his wrath-storm so lucky.

“No Dean - i-it’s nothing, I swear!” you squeaked fearfully, cowering back from him like a beat puppy. There was no way you were telling him about Blue now, he would blow his top. It was times like these that you recognized being taken in by the Winchesters could be a blessing and a curse.

“Please. I - I promise I’m not hiding anything from you. .” and only when a frightened little tear trickled out, did Dean back off a little. Just a little though. He grunted with narrowed eyes that told you he wasn’t buying your bullshit,

“Technically you haven’t lost yet.” it took you a whole five seconds to realize he was talking about this overly intense game of capture the flag, and your shoulders sagged with nervous relief. Talk about whiplash. It was clear this conversation wasn’t over however.

“I know, Sam already tried to pin me. . but I got away.” you shrugged meekly, “Barely.” he snorted softly, appraising you with a trained eye,

“That’s surprising.” it would have hurt your feelings if it wasn’t so true,

“I know. Luck I guess.” and also a solid knee to the nards, but hey, I’m already keeping one secret right? Gazing off into the dark woods, Dean shook his head once, sharply. His hands were back in his pockets and he was resting all of his weight on one leg, the look on his face was cold.

He glanced over at you, flicking his sharp eyes up and down your slightly hunched in body, “So I’d run if I were you then, sweetheart.”

“N-noted.” and you took off. The sound of Dean’s heavy boots pounding solidly behind you scared a shrill scream out of your chest, it scratched your throat on the way up and made the freezing air carving in and out of your lungs that much more painful.

Surprised at the fact that you’d made it more than two seconds running from Dean without being brutally sacked, you threw a flitting glance back at him. Whimpering when you spotted the raging man only a few yards back.

While you were running at top speed, over the fallen logs and across the slick moss, Dean was easily on your ass at about half capacity. He could easily catch you. You knew that from experience. Only he wasn’t. No, instead the seasoned Hunter was using this chase as a scare tactic, as a way to prove a point.

Dean was not catching. Dean was pursuing. Wearing you out until you had to stop and accept your fate. . and goddamnit, it was pretty fucking terrifying.

“Sh-shit,” you whimpered, breath sawing in and out of you more intensely with each step. I should’ve really taken Sam up on those jogging offers much sooner. . Sam. “SAM!” you shrieked, trying your best to ignore the dark laughter closing in from behind.

You wished Dean wouldn’t go full-on 'trained killer' on you - he knew exactly how scary he was when he got like this, and he knew exactly how cowardly you were over just about everything. Asshole.

“SAM!” you cried again, a sneaky log made you stumble enough to send you pitching forward into a nearby tree. The rough bark scraped at your palms, making you wince and whine as you tried to keep from falling all the way down. Dean was there in seconds, “Stay - stay away from me!” you hobbled sideways, grappling with the elderly pine as the big man closed in on you.

“No Dean, get away! You win, okay?” you weren’t even looking at him, but just the feel of fury radiating off of the man was enough to send you into a panic - you figured he would use this “pinning” rule as means for an outlet. It was going to hurt.

“Come here kid,” his low growl was answered with a wailing cry, product of your inner panic,

“No! Get away - S-Sam!” hedging around the thick trunk of the tree, you collapsed to your knees from a mixture of exhaustion and distress.

Everything slowed down all of a sudden. As you sat, hunched over on your knees quietly crying, Dean’s hulking shadow eclipsed the dim moonlight and bathed you in darkness. As if he wasn’t intimidating enough. He also had to block out the sky apparently.

“Get up.” he growled, his tone making you hiccup frightfully. You refused to look up, like maybe if you didn’t acknowledge him, he’d go away. . like a bad dream.

“D-Dean -”

“No.” he cut you off, speaking through his teeth, “Don’t you do that with me cupcake, either get the fuck up, or tell me the truth right now.” your tears were silent, but obvious since your whole body was quaking with them.

“Dean please, I’m sorry, please don’t be mad at me!” your voice was thick and tearful, “I - I didn’t want to tell you be-because I knew you’d react like this -”

“Tell me what?” he murmured unsettlingly softly. Small sticks crunched beneath his boots when he moved closer to squat next to you, he hummed when you whined at the proximity and mercilessly brushed a gathering of hair over your shoulder. “          . Tell me what?” he asked again.

While he seemed calm, you could practically hear the anger running through his veins, just beneath the surface. . so what you said next was merely a foolish natural reaction - any teenage girl would have said it themselves.

“Nothing.” you were on your back in a second. You didn’t even have time to scream,

“Fucking nothing? Jesus Christ kid, wrong answer.” you squeezed your eyes shut as he forced himself over you, balling your hands into little fists as your body went into lock down.

It was all you could do to not start sobbing,

“Dean - Dean please don’t!” you wept, flinching at the feel of his breath on your cheek, at his strong hands on your shoulders,

“Don’t what?” he roared, “Don’t keep secrets? Don’t lie to you? Done. I don’t do any of those fucking things - that’s all you baby girl.” you hated when he used his endearments in a threatening way.

"N-no. .” you sniveled, “please don’t hurt me. .” and it was like you were back on the road. Back to the night you’d sliced open the seat in his Impala. Back to when you weren’t so sure about this man’s handle on his anger. “P-please Dean - please -” he was only frozen for a second, maybe half, before he levered himself off of you.

The movement was so swift that it landed him on his ass, sort of sprawled out by your side, and only when you opened your eyes did you see a look of horror in his. The big Hunter stared at you with his pouty lips slightly agape, his green eyes wide in the dark. . and if you weren’t mistaken, a little moist.

“Sweetheart. .” he spoke low, “I would never -”

“How would I know that?” you cried, finally succumbing to your insistent sobs right there on the freezing forest floor. “H-how would I know?!” the look on his face was tearing your chest in two, his ajar lower lip trembled slightly like he wanted to say something, and his tongue sort of jumped a couple of times, but instead of speaking he sort of shakily maneuvered to his knees beside you.

“No.” he whispered roughly, drawing nearer hesitantly like he might scare you away. He wasn’t far off honestly. “No.          , I would never, never, hurt you. Never.”

“B-but you get so mad - and you’re s-so scary sometimes. .” you sobbed, no doubt sounding pathetic, “I - I would tell you things if I didn’t have to worry about you freaking out like this -”

“It’s what happens when you break rules         .” he pointed out a little sternly before softening again, “You listen to me right now kid.” you stared up at him from your place on the ground. Melting frost was starting to make your back wet, “Are you listening?”

“Always.” the immediate answer made him smirk a tiny bit,

“At this rate I’m gonna get you to start calling me sir.” when you only swallowed in response to his attempt to lighten the mood, he did this funny little head bob where he licked his lips and blinked rapidly before sailing right on,

“No matter how angry I get at you - no matter how. . .” he hesitated, “‘Scary’,” he fell on that word with an eyeroll, “I would never hurt you. Sam would never hurt you, not out of anger, not fueled by hate, do you understand?”

“But -”

“Do you understand.” he repeated firmly,

“Y-yes.” your hand was scooped up, your elbow cupped, and Dean was helping you to a sitting position on the damp forest floor. He pinched the hem of your second layer between his fingers and pulled it up to your face to cup your nose, “Hey -”

“Blow.” like a toddler, Dean very lightly squeezed your nose while you blew built up snot into your sweater. Gross. Sweet, but gross. A nearly untraceable grimace flickered across his features, where your face was likely beet red under the cloak of night.

Once he dropped the makeshift tissue back down to it’s place, he sat back on his heels and turned your chin up with a gentle finger, “Sweetheart. I’m sorry.”

“For what?” you whispered, eyes shining by the pale light of the moon. On the other hand, Dean’s features were cloaked in darkness.

“You’re gonna make me do this, huh?” he mumbled, rolling his eyes gently, “Fine. I’m sorry for scaring you. . for. . for being so rough sometimes, I just. . I have no idea where to even begin with teaching a girl about life. Or what we even are to each other. I just know that it’s my job to keep you out of trouble - out of harm’s way - but at the same time make sure that you feel loved.”

You stopped breathing for a moment. Was Dean Winchester about to tell you that he loves you? No. . no it can’t be. The moment your little heart had been waiting for since day one - he said the word, which was closer than you’d ever come. . Sadly, instead of telling you outright, he continued with his heartfelt monologue,

“I never got enough of that - hell Sam neither - but I also know that it’s my job to put the fear of God in ya. Sure as hell know Sam won’t. So, I’m sorry that I can be too hard on you sometimes, that I get carried away, but Jesus sister, I wouldn’t ever hurt you. No way. Not a chance.” the trees were quiet on that last word, like they were listening too,

“I’m sorry too.” you whispered after a long moment of silence. Dean’s head picked up, curiosity making his face light, “That I keep messing up, that I kept it from you. . I just don’t want to disappoint you guys. The only reason I told Sam was because I couldn’t keep it in a second longer, and I swear he always knows what to say.”

“Sam’s got a way.” Dean agreed,

“But you. . I can’t stand seeing you mad at me. I see this. .” you thought about your words very carefully, wanting them to be as true as possible, but knowing that it was about to sound strange, “I can see a hate in you Dean. . this deep seated hate, and it scares me.”

As soon as you said it out loud you regretted it. The look on his face, pure naked doler, tore your heart to pieces. But it was true. Only now did your mind figure out how to put it into words.

“I know kiddo.” he dropped his head to look at his knees, appearing more vulnerable than he ever had. “It comes with the life. I swear I’ll protect you from it - all of it.”

“I know you will,” you inched closer to him, desperate for a hug. Dean had seen things in his life that would turn a normal man to ash, you didn’t even need him to tell you about it to know it was true. Dean wasn’t normal. Neither was Sam. But then, neither are you.

“I love you Dean, and I’ll tell you about it everyday until you can say it back. I love you.” the broken man looked up at you and smiled. Fucking smiled through eyes of sorrow. He was something else, that’s for sure. The need to hug him was so strong that you basically threw yourself into him, hard enough to make him grunt and rock back on his knees before he wrapped his own arms around you.

His breath right on your bare neck made you shiver, and he held you tighter in response,

“You’re just lucky you have so many redeeming qualities.” you mumbled into his shoulder, cheek resting on his semi scratchy neck, and smiled when you felt him rumble with a deep laugh,

“I swear to God if you tell me I have pretty eyes one more time, I really will beat you kiddo.” you laughed, but quietly wondered when that day would come. You winced, oh God that will be scarring.

“Okay then never mind.” you joked earning one last squeeze from him before he started to untangle. Dean stiffened, perking up like a dog who just heard a whistle, and you froze immediately, regarding the man’s built in 6th sense with undying trust. Dean still held onto you with one hand, his sharp gaze trained somewhere deep in the trees, zeroed in like a fighter jet,

“Dean. . ?”

“Shh.” you did, pressing your lips into a thin line, and straining your eyes and ears in the direction of Dean’s gaze. The Hunter suddenly let out a chuckle that rode on a sigh of relief, and he helped you the rest of the way to your feet.

Only then did you hear soft thumping, and a few seconds later you saw one Sam Winchester flying through the brush fluidly and with surprising majesty for such a big man.

“Sam!” you exclaimed like an excited toddler, even hopping up and down once when you saw the unmistakable gleam of his huge sunshine smile through the dark. He was carrying some type of fabric in his giant paw,

“Son of a bitch. .” Dean groaned, and you were only confused for a moment,

“I win!” Sam waved the flag around sporadically until he came to a stop directly in front of you. He planted a heavy hand right on the top of your head and mussed your hair until you managed to bat him away,

“I guess your man bits made a full recovery then?” you ventured, unable to help a smirk,

“Man bits,” Dean pondered, “that’s what all the ladies call em’, am I right Sam?” he tagged his younger brother on the shoulder, laughing off the dour look he got. Instead of answering you, Sam raised his eyebrows and nodded down with a huff,

“We gotta work on your stealth          , I could tell where you were tonight, pretty much at all times.” yeah that deserved a pout,

“From how far away though?” you challenged, earning two identical knowing smiles from both towering men. Dean answered,

“Far enough.” and then Sam,

“You know I was thinking - you know how the woods gets you thinking -” Dean nodded an agreeable grunt in reply and you rolled your eyes so hard it hurt. These. Fucking. Guys. “ - what do you think about putting         , through a minor training? Not to be a Hunter of course, just teach her basic combat skills. .  and you know teach her how to shoot?”

It was obvious that Sam wasn’t so much asking Dean if he could do it, as much as he was telling him ‘I’m doing this, do you want in or not?’.  Dean’s face was one of conflict,

“Not for Hunting.” he affirmed,

“Not for Hunting.” Sam agreed, and got a shrug. You were looking back and forth between the brothers as they spoke of you like you weren’t standing right between them.

Dean’s answer made you bristle, “Sure might as well. It’d be nice to have a decent wrestling match for once with someone other than you.” you pipped up then,

“Hey! I almost beat you that one time -”

“Oh you mean that one time when you tried to bite my ear off?” Dean pinned you with a lingering glare, “Yeah princess, you can have that one.” so you quieted down. They’re gonna train me? Like - like to fight?? Do I get to shoot guns. .? Oh God this is so exciting!!

You were practically vibrating with the restraint it took to hold in your enthusiasm, but let’s be honest, they probably noticed anyway. Freaking Hunters.

“So. . Do we get to go home now?” you asked hopefully, starting to shiver from lack of movement. Sensing Dean’s lingering displeasure you found yourself hedging closer to Sam for the second time that night. When the green-eyed man opened his mouth to speak, he was interrupted by the fluttering of wings and Castiel’s voice,

“Not quite.” he answered you, looking more frantic than you’d ever seen the passive Angel. "There's trouble, we must prepare for battle." Dean seemed to come to attention at the very subtle note of distress in his best friends voice, and whirled to face him,

“Cas, what’s the new’s buddy?” wide blue eyes flitted back and forth from Dean to you to Sam,

“It - it’s -

“Well lookie here!” a horribly familiar voice sounded from across a small clearing to your right, “Chicklet, what the hell are you doin’ in the woods at night? In the middle of winter no less! You’ll catch your death out here puddin’ pop.” the southern accent was offensively exaggerated.

“Oh my God. .” your wide (e/c) eyes were frozen on Dean, who was locked in with you as well, but he just looked angry. You refused to turn and confirm your fears. Breath wouldn’t come.

“You’re not even gonna say hello baby?” Blue feigned hurt, “Well that’s just rude, after all, I made you come for the first time in your life - that’s gotta mean somethin’!” he was cackling.

It sounded nothing like Blue, nothing like the boy who was so sweet to you hours before this. Dean’s features adapted into something of nightmares. Blue just confirmed his suspicions after all. Sam was on it though,

“Gemma, Blue,” Gemma is there too? Oh my God. . “Or whatever piece of shit is wearing them, if you’ve come out here looking for a pure soul, you aren’t gonna get it.” finally you broke your staring contest with Dean, turning to find the boy of your dreams standing across a clearing with your best friend.

Both with eyes black as oil. You whimpered, and Sam’s hand snapped back to shove you completely behind him. “Quiet.” he snapped. Instead of answering Sam, Blue spoke directly to you again,

“Or maybe it doesn’t mean anything to you, huh? Little whore. .” Dean stiffened, “I shoulda fucked ya while I had the chance. . maybe I still will.”

“Shut up!” you shrieked, startling Cas who was standing right next to you.

“Oh no. . I didn’t rat you out did I?” Blue chuckled darkly, eyes glittering in the moon. Gemma only grinned, “What’s the matter there Dean?” both Winchesters clenched their fists in controlled anger, “Pissed off some punk ass Van Wilder got in there before you did?” you gasped and Cas griped your shoulder, shaking his head when you looked up at him.

No it wasn’t true.

“Betcha didn’t know that did you           ? You really think Dean Winchester would let some simpering little girl whimper around his precious Bunker, because he likes her personality?”

“You son of a BITCH!” Dean roared with such animal anger that it had you quaking,

“No I don’t think so. .” Blue laughed, “He’s just waiting for his chance. . maybe one night when you sleep too hard. . or the noble Sam here is away. . or Hell, maybe you’ll even ask for it, right?” you were pale. Please be a trick. . please be lying. .

“Trust me Dean, give it a few more nights. She’ll be beggin’ you to make her dreams come true. . my little chicklet, a slut for Dean Winchester, who woulda thunk it?”

“That’s not true!” you screamed, flinching when Castiel squeezed on you,

“No? You’re really gonna tell everyone out here that you haven’t had dirty little dreams about a certain green eyed Hunter. .? Really?” he laughed, but you were reeling at the blatant lie. You’d never imagined Dean that way.

Sure, you looked up to him immensely. . maybe even harbored a harmless little crush on him - but it wasn’t anything like what Blue was spouting. A harmless schoolgirl crush. . that’s all it is. . that’s all. .

“D-Dean it’s not true,” you whimpered, “I swear -”

“I know sweetheart,” he softened his voice slightly for you, but didn’t take his eyes off of the pair of demons. But then. . if Blue was lying about me, that means that what he’s saying about Dean is all fake too.

Hopefully.

“Alright dickhead, cut the shit.” Dean called, “You want our girl here, you’re gonna have to come take her.” you stopped breathing,

“Cas. . .” you whispered, and he was gone in an instant. “Cas!” you cried, only to be shoved hard to the ground by Sam, who shot you a look of daggers that could make lava freeze. You curled up in the tall grass, a bright flash of blue catching your eye when Cas appeared on the other side of the meadow,

“Don’t move!” Dean barked, before taking off toward the melee with Sam hot on his heel,

“No! Sam, Dean!” you screamed, ignoring Dean’s order and clambering up on your hands and knees.

Castiel’s eyes were alight with bright blue as he battled the team of demons, it was strange to see you friends this way. Especially Gemma, who was currently delivering punches hard enough to make an Angel bleed.

At your scream however, she snapped her eyes over to you, lying helpless in the grass, and stretched a horrid gleaming grin across her face. Oh fuck.

The blonde managed to dodge both Sam and Dean on her path to you, laughing and wailing all the while, Dean skidded to such an abrupt halt that he practically fell down before scrambling to chase the demon.

“Go Sam!” he called to his brother, who joined Cas in ending Blue. Gemma was only about three yards away when you made a decision. You took two huge deep calming breaths before vaulting up yourself and sprinting to meet the black-eyed blonde,

“             !” Dean shouted, from somewhere in the center of the meadow. Gemma took you down easily with her greater momentum, and your back hit the frozen dirt hard enough to knock the air from your lungs,

“You stupid little bitch!” she snarled, sounding and looking nothing like you quirky flouncing friend as she climbed on top of you. Scratching and roaring, you managed to claw her cheek hard enough to draw blood, before she clamped both of her small hands around your throat. “This soul is mine. . The King will make me his queen for a find like this.”

The King?

You writhed when she squeezed, bucking and hitting wherever you could, but the demon in her wasn’t feeling any pain. At least you thought so until she let out a scream for hell to hear when someone yanked her back up off of you by her long curly locks,

“AH!” Dean threw the girl to the ground and planted a brutal kick right to her lower abdomen. His face was a mask of pure fury, and you thanked God that he didn’t bother looking at you before dropping down to one knee right on her rib cage. “Fuck!” she wailed, grasping at him as bones were no doubt breaking.

There were tears but somehow you knew it wasn’t from the monster,

“Wait, Dean! Wait!"

“Didn't I tell you to shut up?” he snarled at you, cracking three blood spewing punches into the girl’s face before pulling out a strange looking knife. There were bizarre engravings all over the blade and handle. “Time to die bitch.” he growled, spitting in her blood stained face.

You closed your eyes and covered your ears when he brought the blade up over his head, but no matter how hard you squeezed you could still hear Gemma struggling and wailing. Sam’s voice boomed across the small field,

“DEAN WAIT!” you opened your eyes to find Dean seething with rage above the battered girl, but he was waiting. Over by Sam, something strange was happening with Blue. His face was turned up to the sky, his mouth gaping as the tail end of a black mass seeped out of his throat.

And then he collapsed. Lifeless. You refused to let the ache in your heart form. Compartmentalize, worry about it later. . But there was a pricking in your chest, no doubt about that, as the first boy you ever let in stared at you dead from across the dark meadow.

Those hazel eyes were pale now, ghosts of the beauty that they once were.

“Dean stop, she’s alive -” Sam called, forcing you to focus back on Dean and Gemma. Alive? Please. . .

“Fuck!” Dean shook Gemma roughly, she was laughing like Sam just said the funniest thing in the world,

“Can’t kill me now big boy. .” she leered, licking her bloodied lips, and sneering at up at him in a way that made your skin crawl,

“Maybe not,” he leaned down close to her with a sneer of his own. Well Dean was terrifying when he was in Hunter mode, “But Crowley damn sure might, he doesn’t really take to kindly to his employees tanglin’ with Sammy an’ me. So have fun down there sister.”

You gulped at the same time the demon did, a trace of uncertainty graced her features that made Dean chuckle.

“I need the knife, it’s going for           !” you panicked, seeing that weird smoke cloud congregating above the meadow, but both brothers seemed unconcerned about the dark cloud even when it started floating it’s way toward you.

Instead, Dean rose up and sent the knife spiraling through the air to his brother who caught it by the handle like it was no big deal.

Damn.

Black smoke descended upon you, coming straight for your face, and you could feel some invisible force opening your jaw against your will. No! However, just before the smoke breached your lips, it hit something, something invisible blocking it like a window.

The tattoo. . oh thank God.

Your head dropped painfully back down to the forest floor, and you watched through half lidded eyes, Sam across the field stab the demon knife into Blue’s lifeless body and leave it there as he galloped back across the field to Dean’s side.

And he said,

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus. Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio. Infernalis adversarii, omnis legio,  omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. . . .”

Gemma’s body went rigid, arching up until her waist was touching Dean’s, mouth agape as thick smoke poured out like vomit. Her eyes were clamped shut and she appeared to be screaming, only it wasn’t clear if it was Gemma or the demon who was in pain.

Just when you thought the black cloud would never end, it cut off from her mouth, leaving the curvaceous blonde to collapse lifelessly back to the ground, as the tendrils of smoke seemed to simply disappear into the sky.

Harsh coughing and gasping signaled that Gemma was already coming to,

“Oh hey there sweetheart,” Dean gently put a hand under her head, “Take it easy, you’re alright.” her eyes opened sluggishly, and you could see her taking in Dean kneeling above her.

She actually had the capacity to chuckle a little, and the first thing she said caught everyone off guard,

“You know, when I say I like it rough, this isn’t exactly what I have in mind there Slugger.” yep, same old Gemma.

“Yeah, she’s fine,” Dean groaned, rocking back on his knees to brace his hands on his thighs, “fuckin’ stone tough if you ask me.” he made a move like he was about to stand,

“No, no, you can stay on top of me - we can even get freaky if you give me five.” her voice was weak. Sam finally busted a laugh behind you, and the sound triggered your own giggling fit.

Leave it to fucking Gemma to brighten the mood. However after a moment of much needed group laughter, your inappropriate blonde friend hiccuped with pain. And perhaps a little hysteria.

“Oh no no,” Dean coaxed, leaning back down and waving his hands in front of her face like wasn’t sure what to do with them, “Shh, shh, you’re alright girl. Hey it’s okay. .” but she was looking at you, reaching in such a way that you had to go over. Once you kneeled she told you, clearly fighting back tears.

You knew she wouldn’t let them spill, because Gemma didn’t cry. Ever. Not even with the fruits of Dean's beating covering her skin, or the pain from bones he crushed making her wheeze, or even the likely ruptured organs, courtesy of someone's anger management issues. She still wouldn't shed a tear.

“I’m so so sorry. . about everything. A-about rushing you into things with Blue, and - and this whatever this is - I’m just so sorry. .” she took a huge whooshing inhale, snapping her hand out to grab Dean when he awkwardly tried to dismount again, “Don’t even think about it cowboy.”

“Jesus.” he grumbled, settling back down as Gemma got her bearings,

“Listen         , about Erika -”

“She's not a demon too, right?” she flinched at the word Demon, “Oh God. . .”

“No, no listen when that - that thing was inside of me. . I saw things - others like it and Erika’s dad,           Erika’s dad is one of them. He’s been dead for years, God,” he closed her eyes to get her shit together, “She’s trapped there with him. They. . well. .” her eyes flickered over up to Dean and back, “They play.”

“Fuck no.” Dean snapped, finally coming completely off of Gemma and marching to his brother, “Fuck. No.” Sam and Dean turned slightly away from you and your fallen friend, and Castiel filled the empty space on the other side of her.

“Who’s this now?” she croaked, and you grabbed her hand firmly, telling her with as much honestly as you could cram into your face,

“This is Castiel. . he’s uh he’s an Angel.” Gemma only smirked, again surprising you with her level of never-faltering poise,

“I swear girlfriend, are you ever not surrounded by walking, talking symbols of sex?” the expression on Castiel’s face was one of pure perplexity, and it made you both giggle,

“Your are. . strange.” he commented in his usual monotone,

Gemma answered, “Yeah well, if you ever want a taste of a good time, hit me up Angel Face.” coupled with a wink, Gemma was still the smoothest mother fucker to walk the earth, even on the brink of death. Castiel gave her a tiny smile and nodded reassuringly,

“I think you’ve been hit enough for one night.” Gemma blinked at him, while you tried your damnedest to hold in a laugh, “Now, allow me.”

Not another second was wasted before Castiel’s palm took on a familiar blue light, hovering over your fallen friend’s midsection. At first you thought he was healing her, but when she began to convulse you started to panic,

“Cas!” it was stupid to yell at him when you didn’t even know what he was doing. Why would he hurt Gemma? All you could think about though, was Lacey and her interrupted memory. While Gemma proved to be reckless and slightly careless in her own ways, she was still the only friend you had. You didn’t want to lose her too.

After a moment, the Angel sheathed his grace, and stood to tower over you, his face was stormy all of a sudden and it made you stutter. Gemma was out cold. Breathing, thank God.

“She’s branded. Protected from Demons and Angels alike, her memory has been wiped from the point of possession on. However, she will feel an inexplicable bond with you, as if you have been through war together.” he cocked his head at you, and informed you of something that killed all of your gratified instantly,

“All of this could have been prevented had you not been so blind         .” he might as well of just slapped you. That’s what it felt like.

“Cas.” Sam warned, walking up out of nowhere to come to your aid, “Go easy.” the Angel only glanced at him,

“Why Sam?” he questioned, boring his blue eyes back down to you, “So she can continue putting the lives of herself and her loved ones in danger? That seems foolish.” it was hard to tell yourself that all Angels were this blunt at this point, there was no denying Castiel was hitting you where it hurt.

“Allow me to speak plainly for a moment          . Had you not rushed into camaraderie with the first willing individual, monsters, more specifically Demons, would not see you as such as easy target. They feed on insecurity, and you, daughter, are as ripe as The Apple.” you glanced turned to glance at Sam and Dean, who were looking appalled at their friend’s sudden harsh words.

Your jeans were soaking through from the damp ground on your knees, and you still held on to Gemma’s limp hand,

“I’m sorry Castiel.” you whispered meekly, using his full name out of subdued spite.

“Your soul still remains pure, you will continue to be in danger for perhaps the rest of your life if you remain untainted,” you wondered what might taint your soul since he had said before sexual activity had nothing to do with it.

Cas nodded at Sam over your shoulder, “I support your earlier proposal, to train her, and I would like to assist in any way I can.”

“What would you do?” you mumbled, wishing he would stop looking at you with such hard eyes. He smirked, but it wasn’t exactly unkind, more like he was recalling something fond,

“Since I was once Commander of a garrison, I assumed I would be useful in most areas of combat. Are you comfortable with that?” No.

“I guess so.” he nodded, finally offering you a soft smile, and stepping forward and bending low to rest a hand on your shoulder,

“Please. Promise me you will be more safe from now on.”

“I will.” he gave you a squeeze, blue eyes wide and earnest,

“Promise me.”

“I - I promise.” another tiny smile played on his lips,

“Good,” he dropped his hand with a nod to straighten, and then said something that none of you were expecting, “What is it that humans say in such an endearing fashion?” you wrinkled your brow, “Ah that’s it. I love you        .”

With that he was gone, disappeared without any hint that he was ever there, and apparently taking Gemma along for the ride. Leaving you gaping, alone on the ground, in utter shock.

“Did he just. . .?” you whirled to Sam and then back to Dean,

“Yup, I think he did.” Sam eyes were practically bugging as well, “Well I can check that off the list of things I never thought I’d see in a million years.”

~~

It was like you were over heating as soon as you stepped foot into the Bunker.

“Gah, it’s HOT!” so shedding clothes didn’t only seem satisfying, it was also fucking necessary. In the blink of an eye you were standing before the rather bewildered Winchesters in nothing but your panty set. It was a little too late to be embarrassed.

“You couldn’t have waited five seconds?” Dean appraised you with a telling smirk. You reddened,

“Sorry.” it was sheepish and to top it off you sort of side stepped to hide behind Sam. Those green eyes could be peircing when he let them be. On the way back from the woods, Dean and Sam decided that the situation with Erika would be taken care of in due time - since the demon hadn’t killed her yet, it wasn’t likely that he would.

They seemed pretty confident that she would stay alive for appearance if anything. It was clear that both brothers were itching to save her though, it was the hero in both of them. So you let yourself relax, knowing that Sam and Dean would come to the rescue soon. . just not tonight.

You were about to collapse from exhaustion.

“Dean, can we go back to bed?” you whined, coming out from behind Sam to latch on to the eldest brother’s arm.

“Well when you put it that way. . .” he wiggled his eyebrows and you slapped his chest,

“God you’re such a creep!” he feigned innocence,

"Oh I'm sorry, is it still too soon?" he chuckled and you heard Sam groan,

"Yeah Dean, I'm pretty sure 15 minutes is still too soon." with a ruffle of your hair and a contented sigh, Dean relented,

“Fine, you need a shower anyway, you little dirt bomb.” and looking down at yourself, you found that he was right. However it happened, mud and what you hoped was only darker mud lined haphazardly around your skin,

“Ew.” but secretly, you needed some time alone anyway. Something told you Sam and Dean wouldn't be very understanding about your minor heartbreak that went hand in hand with the death of Blue.

Yes, a long shower was in order. One where you could cry in private, and work out your thoughts without an audience for once.

“Yeah, so git. And hurry, Sam and I got a hunt tomorrow so I need all the Z's I can get.” he urged gently with a hand to your back, you didn't miss how it was implied that you weren't going this time, “But sweetheart?” you turned and tried your best to look innocent even though you knew by his tone that Dean was about to get down to business.

“Yeah?” Sam took on a pitying look, all furrowed brows and frowns.

“I’m telling you right now, don’t you ever lie to me again, or I’ll make what happened back there in the woods look like a cake walk. Understand?” you knew he was talking about when he pretty much attacked you.

“I - I understand.”

“And you’re never dating under my roof.” he was stern, but Sam piped up then,

“Until you’re 18.” when all you wanted to do was argue, you just nodded, knowing that your libido could have potentially gotten everyone you loved killed tonight. With one last passing look to you, Dean headed for his own shower muttering,

“We’ll get that cut taken care of before bed.” Sam passed you too with a quick kiss to your scalp before wandering after his brother to the hall of bedrooms,

“Night Sam.” he turned and flashed a dorky smile,

“See you in the afternoon            .”

Glancing at the calendar hung crookedly on the wall near the bookcases, you pinpointed the date, knowing it was sometime in the very early morning. .

. . . So you whispered softly, and sort of sadly. . .

“Happy Birthday to me. .”

Chapter Text

“Deeeaan. . .” you whined, noticing how the rugged Hunter bristled as he poured his coffee.

“Whaaat?” he mimicked your tone,

“Do you guys have to go? Why can’t the witches just have one more solid sacrifice before they die. . .?” he looked up at you like you’d lost your mind, and even stopped pouring the coffee,

“            -”

“Oh cool your jets, I’m kidding. . sorta.” you hopped off the counter to grab a cup, only to have Dean smack your hand sharply, “Ow! What -”

“You’re not old enough to be drinking coffee sister.” you watched, incredulous, as the big man reached up to take a bottle of Jack from the top shelf,

“Hey but you get to -”

“Shhh. . .” he tiredly patted you right on the face a couple of times just before pouring a hefty amount of liquor into his black coffee. You blinked. “I’m an adult.” he whispered like it was a secret, then grabbed your arm to steer you from the kitchen, “I can do whatever I want.” you huffed and he released you in the main room next to where Sam was sitting at the war table.

“Please you guys? Can’t you just take me with you again?” Sam’s fingers tapped the keys on his laptop a little harder at the grating sound in your voice. God I really gotta stop whining at them. “I’ll stay out of trouble this time I promise!” when no one answered you opted for snagging Sam’s laptop and throwing yourself into his lap,

“Hey!” he protested, but you latched on around his neck,

“I don’t wanna be here alone!” you insisted, your theatrics only half sarcastic. Honestly you weren’t sure how you were gonna cope for two days without them. Hell you’d been sleeping with them every night for the past four months. . . you were becoming a little codependent to be honest.

“Well that’s fine sweetheart, cause you won’t be alone.” you twisted your head to peek at Dean from Sam’s neck,

“I thought Castiel was going with you. . .” you were sure that’s what they’d said.

“For fuck’s sake kid would ya just call him Cas already?” Dean tossed yet another gun into his duffel, “It’s not like he meant to hurt your feelings last night.”

“Fine. CAS makes me nervous.” Dean chuckled and so did Sam beneath you, “What’s so funny?” you demanded,

“Oh you mean besides the fact that you’re freaked out by Cas now?” Dean shook his head, smiling,

“Shut up! He’s scary. .” you pouted while Dean barked a laugh, and Sam responded while still holding in laughter,

“Oh, we didn’t call Cas.” your brow furrowed,

“Then - then who?” Dean just shook his head with a huge grin as he continued packing,

“All you need to know is that he’s a good guy.” you stared at the green eyed man,

“That’s all you’re gonna tell her?” Sam asked, cracking up when Dean shrugged.

“What else should I know?” now you were getting nervous, and reminding yourself that Sam and Dean wouldn’t leave you with some weirdo did nothing to ease your worries. The only answer you got was a knock at the Bunker’s metal door.

“That’d be him,” Dean jogged over and up the stairs to get the door, “Right on time brother!” he bellowed and crashed into someone for a hearty hug. The second man replied with a heavy Louisiana drawl,

“It’s been far too long,” he spoke in sort of an old timey fashion you noticed, and as soon as he walked through the door your heart leapt into your throat. Damn, he’s attractive too! Can’t their be at least one undesirable man in my life? Give me a fucking break.

Dean never broke contact with the rugged man as they descended the spiral staircase, always with a hand on his shoulder or back - smiling and hanging on every super southern word.

Jeez, Dean really likes this guy. . .

Sam made like he was gonna stand up, but you clung to him warily, suddenly very shy of this newcomer, especially when his permanently melancholy baby blues landed on you in Sam’s lap.

“Well I’ll be. . .” he murmured softly like he realized you were nervous, you couldn’t help but notice his heavy southern drawl, “this must be your little         , how are ya sunshine?” his small kind smile and the way he bent forward slightly, gave you the courage to slightly uncurl from Sam - who dumped you the rest of the way to your feet when he abruptly stood.

“Um. . . Um I’m good.” you sheepishly looked to the floor and fiddled your fingers, “H -how are you?” your face reddened when Dean busted up and clapped his friend on the back,

“Looks like you got our girl all knotted up, come on kiddo, look at him while your talkin’,” you swallowed and looked up to Dean and the mystery man. One was smirking while the other was watching you with what looked like empathy,

“Oh it’s quite alright there brother, I used to get twitterpated all easy when I was a young’n too. It’s no trouble - name’s Benny, looks like you and I are gonna be spendin’ a few days together darlin’.” Darlin’.

Cheeks flaming, you took his hand and shook it. “There we go.” Dean was staring at you with a huge smile that promised relentless teasing later. Say something, this is humiliating.

“Um, how do you two know each other?” you ventured, Dean and Benny shared a uncharacteristic fond look,

“Purgatory.” Benny answered, not looking away from Dean who threw an arm around his shoulder and roughly shook. Both men were smiling widely and chuckling like a couple of frat boys,

Dean hummed, “Good times my man, good times.” finally they broke off the embrace and looked at you like they just remembered you were standing there,

“P -Purgatory?” you asked shrilly, startling when Sam came up behind you and put you in a light headlock. It was actually just a hug around the neck meant as a comfort, so you leaned back into him,

“The one and only,” Dean told you, “it was great, we kicked some ass.” then something occurred to you,

“Wait. . .” everyone stopped and watched the gears turn in your brain. Dean looked like a nerd waiting for GameStop to open, “Why were you in Purgatory?” Benny balked and looked over your head at Sam, then to Dean, then back to you.

“Well darlin’. . . he started, seeming pretty unsure, and you shrugged out of Sam’s hug to watch Benny with nervous eyes. “I’m -”

“You know what?” Dean interrupted with a smile, “We’ll come back to it, right now I’m starving.           made gumbo tonight and I’m dyin’ for a bowl.” at the word gumbo, Benny’s eyes went bright.

“It’s probably nothing like you’re used to.” you warned him meekly, but he waved you off, while Sam and Dean shared a humorous look, eyes glinting with some kind of inside joke. Assholes.

“Any gumbo is good gumbo doll, you couldn’t mess it up if you threw roadkill in the pot.” and with that Dean and Benny disappeared into the kitchen to see what there was to see.

“Sam. . .” you started, uncomfortable with this whole situation,

“Hey don’t worry about it,” his brown eyes were soft, “Benny’s. . . a good guy, you have nothing to worry about.”

“If you say so. . .” you glanced at the kitchen doors wearily, “How long will you be gone?” Sam lifted you off of your feet and wrapped you up tightly in his arms and you leaned back to let him kiss your forehead, before he planted you back on your feet.

Just like you always did when you wanted to kiss his cheek, you grabbed his hand and stood on your tippy toes, and like he always did, Sam bent down so you could reach, ruffling your hair when he stood back to tower over you.

“Only a day, you’ll be fine.”

~

Dinner was relatively uneventful, save for the fact that Dean kept giving you eyes across the table and chuckling about nothing. When you opted for kicking him, you missed and kicked Sam who gave a pained shout before returning the kick sharply - which escalated the situation into an all out footsie battle between you and the Winchesters that had Benny rolling his eyes ruefully.

However your gumbo was a hit, so that was a plus. Dean made you promise to make it again as the brothers started out the door with their duffels.

This is it, they’re really leaving me here. . . On my birthday. . Don’t tell them, it’ll only make them feel bad. You weren’t sure why you had opted for keeping your sweet sixteen a secret from the brothers. Without your parents. . with all of this chaos, it didn’t feel right.

Besides it was clear that Sam and Dean weren’t really “birthday celebration” type dudes - best to keep it all simple with them.

“Wait -” you blurted in the middle of Sam giving Benny the rundown on the Bunker. All three sets of eyes turned to you, “Um. . .” your face went red and you looked to your feet. Shit what am I supposed to say now. .?

Luckily Dean knew exactly what was bothering you (well part of it) and he stepped forward to grip your arms and kneel down in front of you like you were a toddler. You couldn’t deny that seeing him from higher up was a little comforting though. . . does that make me a toddler?

“Hey sweetheart,” he rumbled rubbing circles in your wrists with his thumbs, “everything is gonna be fine out there, and everything is gonna be more than fine here. Sammy an’ me are coming home in two days tops, you can call us whenever you want - Hell, we’ll probably be missing you more than you’ll miss us.” you shuffled on your feet for a moment, looking into his sincerity-crinkled eyes.

“Okay. . .” you whispered, “Just promise you’ll be safe? That - that you’ll come back?” at your words the big green-eyed Hunter pulled you by the waist into a hug where his dark dirty blonde head was pressed just under your chest - that’s how tall he was fucking kneeling.

With a fretful sigh you wrapped your arms around his big head and squeezed gently, now looking up to Sam to speak. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed that Benny looked all mushy and warmhearted. Yeah this guy is gonna be okay I think. . .

“You two are all that I have now,” Sam nodded looking a little wet-eyed at the blatant display of affection his big brother was showing you in front of everyone. You had to admit, it wasn’t like Dean at all, he always kept a hard exterior around basically everyone except you and occasionally Sam - but here he was on his knees, eyes closed, squeezing you for all it was worth. . . so that’s how much I mean to him.

Idly you wondered if he did this to Sam when they were little. Ouch. “So. . so remember that before you make any decisions. I need you guys.” a low rolling sound came from Dean, heating up your tummy with his expelled air.

They hated it when you talked like that - both of them - they said it made it sound like you were expecting to be abandoned at some point. To be honest, it was a real fear of yours.

“We know,” Sam nodded, “I promise we’ll keep each other safe, we always have.” finally Dean’s little lovey-dovey spell was broken and with one final squeeze he rose up to tower over you again, looking a tad sheepish at letting all of his heart show just then.

So you gave him a big smile, and hopped up on your tiptoes to give him a quick little kiss on the cheek - which was something you always did with the boys, but now that Benny was here Dean’s face turned bright red.

“Well I’ll be damned Deano, that cupcake’s got you wrapped around her little finger like fishin’ line on a Sunday I’d say!” he was bellowing loud laughter, and you didn’t even bother trying to decipher his analogy, instead getting caught up in his contagious booming laugh like Sam was as well. 

Dean looked sour, “Ah shut the Hell up,” but he gave you a wink, before turning and moving out the door with a still chuckling Sam in tow,

“Love you Sam!” you shouted, hoping that he wasn’t upset that you didn’t get the chance to hug him goodbye. You were blowing him like a thousand kisses to make up for it, and giggling when he bashfully returned the girly gesture. Oh these guys. .

Dean hollered back over his shoulder,

“You take care of our girl Benny! I’ll have your head if there’s a scratch on her!” for some reason Benny laughed way too loud at that oddly descriptive threat - then a moment later from further away, “We’ll crack a beer when we get back brother!”

Benny was still chuckling and waving out the door just as you heard Sam’s Charger smoothly rev up. Within minutes they were gone. And you were alone with a practical stranger. Benny turned to you as soon as the Charger was out of sight, the smile on his face was almost contagious but you were crippled by awkwardness,

“So darlin’, guess it’s just you an’ me tonight.” he shot you a wink that could sprout flowers,

“U-um yep yeah that’s - that’s fine!” you stammered, fidgeting around on your sock covered feet. A moment of silence passed for your dignity. It was cringeworthy.

Benny sighed softly and leaned out to close the Bunker door, “There isn’t a reason to be shy sunshine, I’m just here to keep you outta trouble. . What say we tackle them dishes together?” his jovial tone made your eyes raise from the floor, and he grinned as soon as he caught them,

“Maybe you can dish me up another helping of that gumbo. It was damn good girl.”

“Yeah. .” you were grinning, unable to stop a little giggle at Benny’s determination to get along, “Okay. Sounds good to me.” it was like your whole body was exhaling in relief as the two of you ambled down the spiral staircase and through the kitchen’s stainless steel double doors.

Why you thought that as soon as Sam and Dean disappeared, Benny would peel back some sort of mask to reveal some evil teenage eating monster face was unclear. . you were just happy it couldn’t be further from the truth.

As the kind southern man aided you in finishing the dishes, he kept up easy conversation, mostly directed at you and your past - how you came to live with the brothers - and it didn’t go unnoticed that he managed to skim right over the part about your parents. Dean must’ve already filled him in.

You were grateful.

“Well I can tell ya got bit of a hold on my buddy there sunshine,” he commented with a knowing grin, “ole’ Dean is like a silk pillow when he’s ‘round ya. Never seen him like that before.”

“A silk pillow?” you giggled, and Benny leaned over to stage whisper,

“Ya turned him into a softie,” you warmed inside, and he resumed drying the dishes, “nothin’ like how he looks when he’s hunting - hell nothing like the man I knew in Purgatory. . It’s like you just switch him off or somethin’ - both of em’ - hell, I don’t know Sam all that well but I can tell ya, those guys that just left? They ain’t monster hunters. Not when they’re in your company.”

You swallowed, not liking the way that sounded for some reason. “Oh. . I don’t mean to do anything to -”

“Ah shit girl,” Benny was chuckling, “It ain’t a bad thing at’all. You got the kind of flavor that can put a soldier at ease - n’fact, I can feel you workin’ your magic on me right now.” of course your face turned beet red.

Focus on the dishes, focus on the dishes. . not the sweet talking Louisiana man to your right. . Definitely not him.

“Could it be because. . .” you stopped yourself, Sam had told you that it wasn’t a good idea to go around spouting about your pure soul. “Nevermind, I just hope I don’t ever have to see them when they’re serious - they scare the bejesus out of me as is sometimes.”

Benny completely ignored your attempt at humor and targeted your first question,

“I figured it’s got somethin’ to do with your pure soul too Sugar, people that got what you got are hard to tarnish - easier to meld with.” you froze.

“How - how do you know about that?” and then Benny froze, but for only a moment,

His next words came out forced, like he was lying, “Well that's simple girl, your Hunters told me.” you only let yourself question the explanation for a moment, surely Sam and Dean wouldn’t tell people about your condition. . but shaking it off was better than freaking yourself out so you let it slide.

 However, there was a nagging question that you just had to get out. So pulling the drain plug you ventured,

“So how did you say you and Dean met?”

Benny cleared his throat, “Purgatory.”

You nodded, “And how did you find yourself there. .?” a sneaky knife became visible at the bottom of the sink once the dirty water emptied, Benny reached for it, starting to answer, but you lurched forward first. “No I got it - AH!”

Benny had jostled the knife just enough to snap it up and nick your pinky as you closed your hand around it. “Crap.” you hissed, bringing your wounded hand to your chest in a protective cradle.

It was shallow, you could feel that, but you could also feel a warm wetness pooling against the indents in your fingers.

You jerked both hands away from your white shirt a little too late, “Noooo, damn it. .” it was only then that you realized how quiet Benny had become. Not that you needed him to swing you into his arms and carry you to the nearest band aid, but a little concern would have been nice. Only. . his back was to you.

“Benny?” there was a low rumble. . sort of a growl that came from the big Southerner.

“You. . you alright there sunshine?” you startled at the roughness of his voice, it sounded as if he himself was in pain.

“Benny. . are you. .” keeping your injured hand cradled, you took a single tiptoeing step toward him. Swallowing you asked sort of hopefully, “Did you um. . . did you cut yourself too?” you stopped nearing him when another low growl permeated the air.

It made the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

“B-Benny?” now you were backing away. . something wasn’t right. No. . something was very wrong.

“Shh. . quiet for a second. I just need. . I need a second.” okay, you were officially freaked out. What the Hell is going on?! Taking three rapid steps back from your babysitter, you quietly announced with a slightly quaky voice,

“I’m. . I’m gonna call Sam and Dean. .” and noticing the way Benny stiffened you added weakly, “I - I think. .”

“No. No you ain’t gonna do that sunshine.” his voice was low, still strained, and caused you to carefully continue to the double doors at your back. Even though you were sure you were being silent in your escape, Benny suddenly whirled around to face you in an upheaval of annoyance. “I said you ain’t gonna do that!”

It wasn’t necessarily shouted or extremely aggressive, but you still yelped and jumped a little in the doorway. You froze too, of course. However obedience was short lived when you got a load of Benny’s face.

Nowhere to be seen was the kind amiable Southerner that had helped you with the dishes or soothed your initial nerves when meeting him. Instead his pupils damn near took over his baby blues, save for a thin circle in each, and reaching out of his twisted up lips were rows upon rows of thin pointed sparkling fangs.

OH MY FUCKING -

“OH F-FUCK!” you shrieked, stumbling backward out of the kitchen, almost falling twice, before finally turning around to sprint down the dim corridor toward your room. There was so much adrenaline coursing through your system that it was almost burning your veins, and the small wound in on your pinky was now gushing.

Vampire. . vampire. . VAMPIRE. Your mind was screaming it, subconsciously ticking down the list of monsters that Sam had been letting you study late at night while he researched cases beside you.

Of course that didn’t mean you were any less terrified.

“Oh God. . Oh God. . Oh God . .” you whimpered repeatedly, deciding to stow away in Dean’s room where you knew he kept weapons. A machete in particular. Kill a vamp by decapitation. Okay. Okay good.

“Little girl!” Benny’s voice wasn’t one of anger, but it still struck fear into your heart. Throwing yourself into Dean’s room and locking the door did nothing to ease your worries either. Hurriedly you began to dig your phone from your pocket while searching for that giant blade of his.

The monster’s voice rang out again, much closer this time, “Little girl come on out now, you don’t got a thing to be scared of. . I won’t hurt ya!” Spying the machete mounted high up on the wall, you tried to stretch for it on your tiptoes, only to still be short about 3 inches.

“No. .” you whimpered, hopping and grunting with the effort to come close to Dean’s reach. Damn the brothers and their heinous height. It was then, when you realized there was no getting that machete down, that your eyes started to water.

You were battling with shaking fingers while dialing one of the only two numbers in your memory bank.

“Sunshine?” Benny’s voice, so close, made you whine quietly. But the gentle knock on the door made you let out some sort of frightened groan/wail mixture that might have been a sob if you were crying yet.

That wasn’t too far away either judging by how much your eyes were watering. “Listen girl, I know you’re in there. . I can uh - I can smell you. So if you’d just come out here it’d make it a hell of a lot easier -”

“N-No!” you cried backing up until your back touched the wall, “No I’m calling Sam!” and then in a more pleading voice, “Please leave me alone. .” there was shifting, and a strained huff,

“             . .  come on darlin’ don’t be this way -”

“Get away from me!” the phone rang, and you prayed one of the brothers would pick up.

“You know I can just break through this door like wax paper, right?” now you were sobbing, there was no stopping it. And as you listened to the shrill ring in the receiver, you slid down the stone wall to the floor with you knees pulled up,

“Please don’t come in here,” you sobbed, “p-please Benny.” there was no answer, but you could still see his shadow on the other side of the door. The ringing was interrupted by a click and some rustling,

Sam’s voice came through, “Hey         , we were just about to call and say goodnight -”

“S-Sam!”

“Whoa whoa, what the Hell’s wrong?” he immediately picked up your distress,

“It’s. . Oh God Sam it’s Benny! He’s - he’s a vampire! A vampire Sam!” you were screaming, noticing the shifting feet still in the hall. Sam was quiet for a moment,

“Uh, Dean wants to talk to you.” What?

“What?! Sam you have to turn around - he’s gonna kill me -”

“Heya sugar,” came Dean’s too calm voice through the speaker, “so what’s the deal? Did he move too quick, lift somethin’ too heavy? Or did he just come right out with it?” your heart was thumping a mile a minute and the Winchester’s cavalier attitudes were making your tears come harder by the second.

What the hell is going on?

“D-Dean what are you talking about. . .?” you wept, shaking your head like he could see you through the phone, “I - I cut my finger and he went all psycho, please you have to help me I’m gonna -”

“Hey, hey, deep breaths for me babygirl,” he was laughing. Fucking laughing . You heard him mumble to Sam under his breath, “Oooh Sammy she is freakin’ out, you gotta hear this.” and then Sam,

“Dude, you’re such a dick. I said we should have told her -”

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?” you shrieked, hearing a groan from Dean on the other end that was likely due to a ruptured eardrum.

“Hey chill the fuck out kid -”

Rustling cut him off, “Give me the goddamn phone Dean.” came Sam’s irritated voice, “Okay        , calm down. We should have told you before but Dean though I’d be funny to see you find out on your own. . Obviously he was wrong.”

“Like Hell I was!” Dean laughed from the background,

“Sam. . .” you whimpered, “Benny’s a -”

“Vampire. Yeah we know.” you were so confused, and trying to keep your weeping breaths quiet so Sam couldn’t hear how much of a mess you were. “Like I said before          , he’s a good guy. He’s a friend. Benny would never hurt you.” this wasn’t making you feel better at all.

“You left me with a vampire ?!” you cried into the phone, “On purpose?!” finally the monster in question cleared his throat on the other side of the door,

“You know I can hear ya, right darlin?” you shuddered but otherwise ignored him. Then Sam lowered his voice,

“Believe me, we put out other calls first but he was the only one who could swing it. He’s family alright? I know it’s a strange but please, trust my judgement about him, like I trusted Dean’s once upon a time.” he blew out a long breath into the speaker, “Can you do that for me?” you sniveled and wiped at your nose meekly, still folded up tight in the corner.

“Y -yeah. . .” it was unsure still but Sam took it,

“Atta girl.” your heart warmed a little bit - just a little bit - at his praise, but you were surely gonna let them both have it when they got home. A few mumbled words tumbled from your lips then, that were meant for yourself but obviously were spoken right into Sam’s ear.

“Some birthday present this turned out to be. . .”

“ What?” his voice was tight and serious. Crap .

“Nothing, nothing forget it - love you guys please be safe - and if I have to kill Benny, Dean better forgive me -”

“No no no, what did you just say about a birthday?” you ignored his question and wiped your eyes as you took the phone down to hang up,

“Love you Sam,” you called and hit end on a still babbling giant. Great . The phone started buzzing again before you even shoved it into your pocket, but you ignored it, figuring you had bigger things to worry about then some Winchester birthday guilt at the moment.

For instance a six foot vampire just on the other side of the door. A deep breath got you up off of the floor and stutter stepping toward the still closed door,

“B-Benny. . .?” you whispered, hearing him sigh harshly on the other side of the door,

“Still here doll,” he sounded wrung out,

“Can I come out?”

“Coulda come out five minutes ago.” he wasn’t amused, in fact, he seemed insulted,

You gulped, “You’re not gonna eat me, right?” Internally you winced, thanking the Gods that Dean wasn’t within earshot to make light of that double meaning. Ever the gentleman, Benny responded with,

“No cupcake, I’m not gonna eat you.” You glanced at your cut, relieved that it wasn’t actively bleeding anymore - Dean didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would keep a stash of bandaids in his room anyway.

So taking a chance, and conjuring your never ending trust for the Winchesters, you cracked open the door to find a blue eyed fellow in the newsboy cap looking a tad sheepish.

“Sorry about all that.” He was actually a little red in the cheeks.  

“Uh yeah I kinda. . freaked out,” you were staring at his eyes, the pupils seemed to be taking a little longer to shrink and were creepy looking in the dim light of the hallway.

“Gonna come out?” he stepped to the side, worrying his brow when you looked to the floor and stepped out shakily, kneading your hands together awkwardly. Being in the presence of an actual vampire will do that to a girl. You could feel him looking at you,

“Sorry. .” it was mumbled without looking up, “It’s gonna take me a minute to get used to the fact that you’re a - a -”

“A vampire.” he finished softly, sighing when you nodded. “Hang on then darlin’.” and he left you in the hallway to move swiftly into Dean’s room, you watched him march straight up to the hanging machete and take it down.

Benny bounced it lightly in his hand as he crossed the room and then with a small smile and a humorous glint to his blues, he offered it to you.

“If it’ll make you feel safe.” he explained, grinning widely when you took the thing. It was heavy in your hands and clearly much too big for a girl like you to be carrying around, but it actually made you feel a lot better. . so you squeezed it tight. “Carry it around with ya, for as long as ya need.”

He received a surprised glance from you, but returned only a genuine smile. Huh, maybe this guy isn’t a monster. .

“Thanks. .” you whispered, letting the big blade hang loosely, now only an inch or so from the floor. Benny smirked, but quickly took on a more compassionate air,

“Heard it’s your birthday.”

“Yeah,” you swallowed back emotion, “first one here. Without uh, without them.” You were speaking of your parents of course, and Benny knew it,

“You know doll. .” he tried and failed to coax your watery eyes from the floor, “There are a few things that humans have privilege over monsters. . one of them is birthdays. Birthdays are special darlin’.”

“When’s yours?” You finally looked up, to see a wide grin and glinting eyes,

“Well. . I got two so it gets complicated. After a while guys like me, well, we stop celebrating.” that made sense, “But you little girl, you got many ahead of you and this one right now - what is this? Number 16?” You nodded feeling a smile spread at his jovial behavior, but then your face fell,

“It just doesn’t feel right Benny.” you mumbled, “Like I shouldn’t be happy today. . It’s too hard. I miss them.” his face fell for a moment, but then he bent down to catch your eyes and took a hand in either of his,

“I understand little darlin’,” he mumbled, bright blue eyes glistening a little bit alongside yours, “but this one, today, right now. . This one is the most special out of them all.”

“Why?” It was hopeful,

A somber little smile teased his lips, “Because today is the day you celebrate the new you. Your life after them - with Sam and Dean and that monotone angel - this is the start of something great. This moment here, when you decide whether or not to embrace it, determines what you’ll make of this new life. It’s all different, I know. And you’ll miss your old life like hell some days, trust me. But it’s worth it. So worth it.”

He was so dire that it was hard to forget that Benny knew exactly what he was talking about when it came to life altering circumstances. “Who are you         ? Not who were you, but who are you?” you swallowed,

“I’m not sure yet. . but I want to find out.” He grinned, squeezing your little hands tight in his,

“That’s what I like to hear.” a beat passed where you just stared at each other, “Whaddya want for your sweet sixteen darlin?” your eyes went wide with possibility, but you wanted to be creative.

“What would you do in the time period you came from?” his face took on a humored smirk, and you reddened under his scrutiny,

“Back then? Sunshine’ this night would be goin a lot differently. ‘Sides I forgot your wedding ring at home.” Oh. OH. He chuckled at your expense, but it was like something occurred to him suddenly,

“But that don’t mean we can’t steal one of the traditions,” you gave him a guarded look, finding that you were only able to think of two traditions that came along with a wedding. The vows and the consummation. Well shit this is about to get weird. .

“I don’t know if we -”

“Come on darlin’ I’ve got the perfect place.” and with that you were being drug down the corridors by a 100 year old vampire, twisting and turning until you found yourselves at the garage. Delicately you tried to roll your wrist out of his strong grip, but it seemed like he didn’t even notice the effort as he pushed into the garage with a bright smile on his lips.

“Benny,” you warned, “Don’t you make me use this machete on you.” he chuckled, twirling you to the side of the Impala, that you noted was finally shiny and black again.

“Hand me your mobile will ya?” with a furrowed brow, you dug into your pocket and did so. With a wink Benny had disappeared in a flashing blur, the action was so quick that it made you jump and gasp.

You waited for him, still a little shocked at Benny’s speech, dissecting it in your head until it all made some kind of sense, and you realized with a chuckle that the vampire was basically telling you to grow a pair and quit feeling sorry for yourself. Just with more suave and compassion.

He’s right. . It’ll take a while to heal, but he’s right. I love Sam and Dean, and they love me. This will all be okay. I’ll be okay.

Just as you were letting out a stressful breath, the southern gent himself came crashing back into the room, he huffed a breath and glanced up at the ceiling a millisecond before warm melodic music trickled through the echoing garage.

There had to be speakers somewhere, and you were looking for them in a wonder as a classical ballroom instrumental flowed softly to your ears. It was beautiful.

“The first dance.” you breathed, blinking rapidly against tears. This was so thoughtful, and kind. . I can’t believe he came up with this. . When your gaze finally lowered back down from the ceiling, you found Benny extending his hand palm up out to you.

His smile was soft and genuine,

“Come on sunshine, let’s give this birthday a proper celebratin’.” swallowing nervously, you set Dean's machete down at your feet and stepped forward.

The vampire’s hand was warm to the touch, something you weren’t expecting from an undead man. Another thing you weren’t expecting was the inability to make eye contact with him while you flushed and smiled wryly at the feeling of being swept closer to him with a strong hand on your back.

A troubling thought occurred to you when your small frame was gently pressed up against his large one,

“I -I,” you could feel his soulful southern eyes staring at you, but you still couldn’t find the nerve to meet them, “I don’t know how to dance Benny.”

Instead of laughing at you, he took up one of your hands in his and coaxed the other to his shoulder while he boldly grasped your hip. Then you looked up at him. He was wearing that warm smile, his kind blue eyes naturally darkened just under the brim of the newsboy cap, when he gave your hip and hand a squeeze.

“Relax darlin’, I got you.” you exhaled, relaxing into him and realizing for the first time just how much luck good ol’ Benny must have with the ladies. It was the charm. And the kindness. And the eyes. . . Okay focus.

“Okay.” and just like that, with a nod of encouragement, you were being led in chipper circles to the soft melody of the old song. Clearly Benny knew exactly what he was doing, and because of that you didn’t really have to.

The ageless gentleman was leading you effortlessly in an old time ballroom dance, spinning you and twirling you in light patterns repeatedly only to bring you back to him and hold you firm. It was making the butterflies panic in your belly, but making your face ache from how much you were smiling.

Each time your body gently crashed into his, a fragrant scent would act up from his clothes. . a kind of natural cologne that was making your head swim. It took you until the very end of the song to remember that Dean had once told you about the scent of vampires.

It was a natural attraction agent used by the lustful killing machines. Hence the nature of the weaponized scent though, you couldn’t find it in you to give a crap. Instead you decided to trust Benny, like most of his previous victims probably had, the difference was he would never hurt you. It wasn’t his style nowadays.

The song came to an end, the last strong note fading off into the echoing garage just as you were pulled in close. Your eyes connected. This would be the part where the couple would kiss - you didn’t have to be from the 1800’s to know that - but before you could fret, Benny smirked kindly and pecked one on the top of your forehead.

“That was nice,” you informed him with a muffled giggle, “there’s no way I’ll remember it all though.”

“Well than I guess we oughta keep practicing, huh sunshine?” another very old melody took up on your phone and rang through the hidden speakers of the garage. Benny spun you out quickly, making you squeal and laugh as you both found the rhythm.

The two of you, little girl and vampire, would spend the next two hours dancing together in the spacious garage.

For your birthday Benny got you one of the coolest gifts a timeless man could give, he showed you near forgotten traditions of his time. Something important to him and unusual to you, but definitely unforgettable. And unique. Just like your life now.

By the time the 20th song died down, you were a sweaty panting mess, having gone through an old lively version of the Twist and of course the infamous Foxtrot, as well as many other lesser known dances.

“You’ve had it.” he chuckled, unfazed by the hours of vigorous exercise that you weren’t used to.

“I wish I could be like you,” you panted, laughing breathlessly, “never tired, never gross and sweaty.”

“Well darlin’ you are sweaty, but gross ? Never.” this sweet talkin’ motherfucker right here. . “It’s gettin’ late anyhow, Sam’ll have my hide if I keep ya up too late.” he checked his watch, “When’s your bedtime girl?” you stared at him, trying to muffle a smile.

“I. . don’t have a bedtime. .” it was his turn to stare.

“You tryin’ to tell me they keep you up as long as ya want?” you nodded and he looked aghast, “Hooligans raisin’ hooligans. . I better have a talk with those boys.” he started off toward the hallway and then stopped short to address you, “Want a ride darlin?”

“Um. .” he turned and patted his back,

“Hop on sugar.”

“Oh. Okay!” you grinned wide. Hell’s yeah a piggy back ride! Since Benny was so tall you had to make a running jump in order to get on his back correctly, but of course he didn’t even grunt at the impact.

It was honestly still lost on you how strong his species actually were. The vampire lurched forward with an inhuman speed just to hear you screech, “Benny!” you batted at his head and he resumed a slower pace back out to the maze of corridors with you giggling on his strong back, machete forgotten.  

It was getting closer and closer to midnight, and you were working up the courage to ask this vampire if he might sleep in your room with you tonight. . not in bed with you, that might be weird for him, but at least on the floor or something. .

Or is that rude? No just ask. Say, ‘hey I was wondering if since I suffer from crippling night terrors on occasion, if you might be willing to share a bedroom with me. You know so that way when I wake up screaming and crying like nothing you’ve ever seen before, you can be the one in charge of calming my crazy ass down.’ Yeah. That’s perfect. Okay here I go -

“Uh, Benny?”

“Yeah doll,” he bounced you on his back a couple times and you took a deep breath,

“I was wondering if you -” the sound of a shrill old timey phone ringing cut you off. Of course it was the vampire’s cell phone.

“Oh, hold that though sunshine it’s probably your Hunters.” it took a moment of fumbling for Benny to actually press the right button, “I hate these damn things - Deano! Hey brother, sunshine and me were just about to -”

A pause where you could hear Dean mumbling, “Uh-huh.” Benny’s shoulders went down under your hands like he was getting some bad news, “Right. Sounds good.” another pause, “See ya soon brother.” you waited a moment for Benny to tell you what that was,

“So. .?” you ventured after a moment when he was silent, “What did he say?” he only shrugged,

“Nothin’ real interestin’, you know how Dean can be.” well that was vague as hell. .

“Are they okay?” you didn’t miss how Benny stiffened in what had to be slight irritation at being questioned like this,

“They’re both fine, now drop it.” he wasn’t necessarily being harsh, but you swallowed, unsure what to say then. So Benny went ahead and said something for you. “You know, that machete. . it’s real cute n’ all - and real effective when it comes to offin’ my kind - but I feel like I gotta tell ya.” he paused to lower you down into one of the big wooden chairs at the war table.

He groaned as he took a seat himself, “Tell me what?” you thought of the weapon, laying on the floor in the garage and wondered if Dean would be pissed that you left it out.

“Well darlin’,” he started, leaning forward to splay his arms on the table, “I’m a monster. Do you understand what that means?”

“Yes.”

“No.” his eyes flashed dark for a moment, and it made your throat jump, “No you don’t.” you stayed quite, admittedly a little nervous now. “There’s an instinct in all of us. To kill. To hunt. .” he leaned back in his chair and adjusted his hat, “Even me, that’s why I almost lost control when you cut yourself back there, but I’m okay. I’m steady. You don’t gotta ever worry about me sunshine.”

“I don’t.” you whispered, fiddling with your fingers in your lap.

“Good.” he smiled slightly, “I don’t get much time with you, so there’s one thing I want you to learn from me.” you nodded, “Seems you’ve gotten yourself involved with monsters more than once, even had a brush with the human kind,” you shuddered at the memory, “Threatening a type like this - like me - is dangerous. That machete I gave you? It was for your own comfort, but I’d be lyin’ if I told ya there wasn’t an instant inkling to attack. . just by simply seein’ you with that blade.”

Your face had gone pale,

“What I’m tryin’ to say darlin’,” he looked to the ceiling for words, “Don’t ever threaten a monster. Ever. Defending yourself is one thing, but I never want to hear about you initiating anything ever again. . Dean told me about the way you took on that demon girl in the woods last night, and you’re damn lucky you didn’t get got.”

“I know but -”

“But nothin’,” he snapped, “Until you’re Hunters get their asses in gear and start teachin’ you how to defend yourself, you better only be thinkin’ about escape. Even with that blade I could kill you in the blink of an eye, understand?”

Hmm. . where did all of the oxygen go?

“Did Dean tell you to lecture me?” you murmured quietly, relieved when he smiled,

“Naw,” he chuckled, “Told me he was meanin’ to do it when he came home, but I know he ain’t gonna.” you tilted your head and Benny copied you, “That boy don’t have a mean bone in his body when it comes to you.”

“Yeah right,” you snorted, thinking of all of the times Dean had scared the shit out of you. . and then remembering what happened after all of them. Oh.

“Yeah.” Benny affirmed, “Right.”

Suddenly, yet on cue, the muffled blaring of a horn fought it’s way through the thick Bunker walls. While you perked up, Benny only allowed a knowing smile to light his face. No. . It’s only been a few hours!

“Is that them?” you stood abruptly and whirled around to find a clock in the room that didn’t actually exist.

“Better go meet em’ outside darlin’,” he relented by dragging his chair back to stand and shooting you a wink, “I don’t think your heroes’ll take to kindly to waitin’.” your eyes shone and with a little giggle, you launched up from your chair, planting an impulsive kiss on the vampires cheek before racing up the spiral stairs.

It felt urgent, like if you didn’t get out there quickly enough, Sam and Dean would evaporate into the breeze or something. . talk about abandonment issues.

As soon as your hand ghosted the doorknob, it was swiftly pulled open for you to reveal a beaming Dean Winchester,

“DEAN!” you wailed happily, flinging yourself into his waiting arms with enough force to practically knock him back down the four stone steps. He was chuckling broadly as you clutched at him, petting the back of your head and squeezing your waist against him as you hopped aggressively up to wrap your legs around his hips.

“Damn kiddo I missed you too,” he laughed, planting a kiss to your hairline and squeezing you. “We were only gone for like eight hours, what’s the deal babe?”

“I feel like you’ve been gone for months. .” you mumbled into his flannel, listening to his low hum of agreement. Only then you were realizing that the man was covered in blood spatters and gun powder, “Ew, you’re all gross.” yet you didn’t detach. “Sam?!” you called, craning your neck to look over Dean’s shoulder.

What you saw was confusing. But only for a moment. There was the Charger. . but Sam was leaning up against a commercial tow truck, his sunshine smile at full wattage and his arms folded over his chest. He too was covered in nasty, but in a moment your attention was directed to the third vehicle in the midnight gravel drive.

It was connected to the tow chain and seemingly gleaming in the rising sunlight. . a truck. An old Ford pickup. Chipped dirty white paint job, four doors, a grill guard, and slightly jacked up by the looks of it. If you could be intimidated by a rig, well, it’d be this one. Finally you slid off of Dean with your eyes glued to the mystery ride.

“Dean. . .?”

“She’s a beaut ain’t she?” you glanced at the eldest Winchester as he patted your shoulder, and swallowed,

“Dean what. . -”

“Happy Birthday sweetheart.” No. No way. Sam and Dean got me a truck!?!

“Oh my God. .” you breathed, finally abandoning Dean and running straight past Sam to meet this beast of a ride. The glowing porch light and the reflective headlights of the Charger was your only source of light in the night, but it didn't take much to realize that the truck wasn’t pretty by any means - huge and overwhelming - but if your dilated pupils and slightly flared nostrils had any say, you were in love.

Gravel crunched as Sam moved over to you,

“Uh, she’s an ‘89 and won’t wake up for us yet, but with a little work and some tender lovin’ I think Dean and I can get ‘er running for you.” you exhaled shakily and gingerly reached out to run your finger tips over the door handle. By that time Dean had joined you.

Sam’s voice sounded nervous all of a sudden, “        ? Do you. . do you like it?” you turned on him with wide (e/c) eyes, and he began to babble, “We know it’s not a girl car or whatever, but it’s one of those that’ll go and go if you take good care of it - it was the only one in the yard that was worth a shit, and we had to get you somethin’ for your birthday -”

Dean interrupted, “Shh, Sammy. .” Sam shushed, “Let her get a feel for it. She’s meeting her ride for the first time, you’re disrupting their silent conversation.” Sam squinted at his brother, “It’s important.” Dean snapped insistently, making you grin at how weird he was about his relationships with cars. No one ever questioned that he knew what he was talking about though.

“Sam.” you started to smile and he copied you, “I love him.”

“Him?” Dean looked like he just ate soap.

“Yeah. This is definitely a boy car.” you were being drilled with the most distasteful look from Dean you’d ever received, “I can’t believe you two did this!” you finally exploded and crashed into Sam before reaching out and pulling Dean into the three way hug, “You bought me a truck!”

You were squealing and then jumping up and down in the brothers arms, while they tried to hold you steady. It was then that you saw Benny standing alone on the front steps,

“BENNY THEY BOUGHT ME A TRUCK!” you screamed at him across the tiny yard, earning a round of manly laughter from all three of them. Wriggling out of Sam and Dean’s arms you flew back to the truck and jerked open the passenger door, it took some effort to climb inside but with Sam’s helping hand on your ass you managed.

Something about sitting so high, inside of such an animal made you feel powerful. The Winchesters looked like happy puppies at the sight.

“Gus.” you stated.

Sam smirked, and put a hand up to Dean, “I’ll take this one,” he stepped slightly forward and posed his complex question, “What?” you giggled,

“His name is Gus, I can feel it!”

“Ah,” Dean nodded like it was totally normal to give a vehicle a name and a sex, “Right, Gus it is then.” he slapped the hood and gestured for you to hop down, “Come on out kiddo, ya gotta say your goodbyes to Benny.” Sam caught you under the armpits as you slide out, and steadied you on the ground.

“Well how long do you think it’ll take to fix? I can’t wait to learn how to drive!” Sam and Dean both shared a loaded look, but Sam answered,

“Couple months, give or take.” you deflated,

“Even if I help?” he smirked,

“In that case, five months.”

“Shut up Sam.” you griped, tagging him lightly on the arm while he grinned. Dean spoke up,

“I, uh, well I was thinkin’ that if you’re up for it. .” he hesitated, “I could get ya started on Baby.” you froze. No. Fucking. Way.

“No. FUCKING. Way.” you stammered, taking both brothers aback with your cursing. Dean was carrying on about how that’s what the Impala was made for, a family car, and that’s what he and Sam learned to drive in, and blah blah blah, when all of a sudden you just started squealing.

You couldn’t handle it.

“DEAN! You’re gonna let me drive your BABY?!” he seemed to be regretting it already.

“Well at first, but Gus is a manual so Sammy and me’ll have to teach you on him as soon as -”

“I GET TO DRIVE BABY?!?” you screamed again, hoping up and down like made while clutching at whichever Winchester you could get your hands on. Dean and Sam’s hard stares sobered you up a bit and after a few more bounces and squeals you were left panting with your hands braced on your thighs.

Dean cleared his throat, “Once you’re finished cleaning her out on your hands and knees of course. Should take up most of the day tomorrow.” he was being gruff, clearly worried about you driving his car. "I just feel bad about your birthday kid, wish you woulda told us."

If you weren't mistaken you detected a hint of irritation in his voice, and Sam snorted in agreement, so you chose to focus on the fact that you were gonna get to drive the freaking Impala with Dean in the passenger seat. Hopefully the boys wouldn't be too angry with you.

“I - I need a moment.” you breathed, feeling like you were gonna burst.

Dean gave a tight smile, “She needs a moment.” He re-informed Sam, who shot him the ‘really?’ look that he wore so well. Glancing up from your hunched over position, you saw Benny just to the left of Dean’s hip, still standing alone on the tiny cement porch, looking content yet lonely. He gave you a little wave,

“Don’t leave yet!” you called worriedly, and received a nod. Sam touched your elbow and started over to him, leaving you and Dean to follow. On the short trek over you were reminded of something,

“Benny said you couldn’t discipline me, Dean.” you knew you were being cheeky, and Dean’s sharp eyes snapped down to you while Sam snorted knowingly,

“Is that right?” he muttered, annoyed,

“Yep, he said ‘there ain’t a mean bone in that boy’s body when it comes to you darlin’,” your impression of Benny made everyone wince, but the man himself was chuckling.

Benny called as you approached, “Do us all a favor and practice that accent a little more darlin’,” you went beet red under his scrutiny, but quickly forgot your embarrassment when a huge hand suddenly came down across your ass hard enough to made you yelp and jump forward.

“Owie,” you whimpered, sidling up to Benny on the stairs and cupping your butt while Dean grinned up at you evilly from the yard.

“Hows that for discipline sweetheart?”

“You’re mean,” you whined, rubbing your backside and flushing when he degradingly kissed the air at you. Hiding your face into Benny you complained, “Benny I don’t want you to leave.” So you were milking it a little, but your really didn’t want the southern vampire to leave after all.

He was a new friend.

“Aw sunshine, I’ll make a point to come visit every once in awhile. Who else’ll refresh your ballroom skills from time to time?” you grinned up at him, “And if you ever find your little self in New Orleans, you know who to call.”

“The most handsome man in the city?” you teased, gleaming at his wolfish smile,

“Well we’d make a pair for the ages.” he chuckled at your redness, “I’d know.”

“Hey. .” Dean’s warning voice came out, but Benny only winked at you,

“I'm sure Dean an' Sammy'd love for you to teach them everything you learned tonight. All the good boys know that the key to a ladies heart is dance. . with the luck Sam's been havin' I bet he'd try next to anything."

Dean looked sour but Sam seemed to be taking the gentle barb pretty well. "Mmm. Catch ya later darlin’, don’t be a stranger, ya hear?” and with that, he planted a gentle little kiss to the bridge of your nose and detached.

Maybe a man as old as Benny didn't get to mushy about goodbyes because he knew he had all the time in the world to see you again. You'd like to think that he was going to miss you when he left though. He most likely would.

Benny nodded to a ruffled up Dean and an awkward Sam before completely disappearing in a blur. You swayed, hugging yourself and sighing longingly,

“He’s. . .” Dean’s gaze chopped you in half, and Sam looked like he was ready to laugh himself to death, “. . dreamy. .” while you and Sam busted up, Dean caught an arm as he stalked past you into the Bunker,

“Fuckin’ dreamy. . bullshit. Gonna have to get a new babysitter.” he was grumbling to himself mostly, “Wanna see discipline? I can show ya discipline girl.” you cast a wide eyed gaze back on Sam who also looked weary, and quickly blurted out the first thing that popped into your head on the way down the stairs.

“W-why was the hunt so quick?” Dean winced,

“Well once we found out it was your special day we double timed it. .” he trailed, “also the witches were kind of already coming after us.”

Sam shrugged,

“Saved us both a lot of gas.”

Chapter Text

“Alright kiddo, you ready?” Dean didn’t look like there was a chance in hell he’d answer yes to his own question. You took a timid gulp and glanced at him in the passenger seat of his pride and joy,

“I - I think so. .” he leveled you with a stern almost aggressive nod,

“You think so, or you know so? Cause if -”

Sam interrupted from the back seat, “Hey, hey. Dean. You’re freakin’ her out, alright? Nothing’s gonna happen - she’s driving down a practically straight gravel road for crying out loud.” Dean huffed slightly and sat back a little.

You ventured to speak, gasping softly at how quickly Dean’s hard gaze snapped to you at the sound of your small gutless voice.

“We’ve already been in here for half an hour Dean. .” his eyes narrowed so you babbled, “All -all the mirrors are adjusted, and you pulled the seat forward so I can reach the pedals -” you stole a glance at his cramped up long legs and tried not to smile, “- we’re all buckled, you’ve threatened my life three times now. . I-I think we’re ready to go.”

His gaze softened a fraction toward you, and he ran a loving hand over the dash in front of him,

“Sorry, I’m just a little nervous I guess.” he cleared his throat bashfully, “I’m hardly used to letting Sam drive the thing.” Sam snorted from the back.

An encouraging smile lit on your face, “I’m nervous too, Dean.”

Sparing an appreciative glance at you, the gruff man cleared his throat again and shifted around,

“Go ahead and turn ‘er over sweetheart.” shoulders tense up to your ears, you reached forward with a slightly trembling hand to grasp the key already lodged in the ignition.

“Okay. .” you whispered to yourself, taking in a huge breath to quell your mixture of excitement and fear. “Okay.” and you twisted. The engine came roaring to life so loudly it made you jump on the leather seat, and the old school rumble that was resonating through the cab tinged your blood with unexpected adrenaline so intense it had you giggling.

“Jesus. .” you breathed, realizing the appeal to the classics all at once. Starting up the Impala for the first time was very much like orgasming by a man the first time. . Unknown, and scary, but all at once incredible.

When you checked over with Dean, his face was split into the brightest sparkling grin you’d ever seen on him, his green eyes were lightened and flooded with a kind of brazen glee.

Sam was chuckling.

“You feel that baby doll?” you couldn’t stop smiling, and he twisted excitedly to relay the obvious to his brother, “She feels it Sammy.” you kneaded your hands on the wheel, trying not to bounce up and down in Dean’s designated seat, you felt like you’d been initiated into some kind of club.

Sudden whooping and a sharp smack to the dashboard startled you, but Dean was on some sort of pride high - you’d made him proud. Gee. .

“Throw ‘er in drive princess, I wanna see you in action!” he practically yelled it. So with one last prayer, you squinted at the PRNDL on the dashboard and jerked the old beast down three clicks like you’d seen other adults do. “Easy now. .” Dean warned when he felt the slightly rough shifting of the engine.

With your foot pressed down on the brake so hard your calf ached, you waited nervously for some direction. Only to receive silence.

“What are you doing           ?” Sam asked from the back, settling up over the seat so he could watch the show. “ Go .”

“I -I” you stuttered, avoiding eye contact, “I don’t know how. . I’ve never done this before.” silence again and you winced this time. Dean clarified,

“You don’t know how to drive like. . at all ?” you shook your head no, expecting Winchester-grade teasing, but instead got Dean sliding all the way over to the middle seat so he could watch exactly what you were doing. Plus a big warm hand on your thigh that instantly relaxed you.

“No big deal sweetheart,” Dean muttered, crinkling his eyes at you kindly, “After all I’m no stranger to coachin’ a girl through her first time.” you gaped and went cherry red, so in true Dean Winchester fashion, he milked it, “In fact, I’m practically a professional.” you had to look away from his stupid mischievous smile.

“Dean!” you batted at his hand on your thigh and dramatically scrunched away from him and into the door. “You’re such a pedo!” Dean went from grinning triumphantly to looking outright offended, while Sam started laughing so loudly that you couldn’t help but giggle along.

He still didn’t move, “Alright, show time. Foot off the brake. . slowly.” you snickered away lingering laughter and did as he said. Only to panic for some reason when you actually started to move. So of course you slammed the brakes back on. “Whoa whoa hey! Take it easy!” Dean cried,

“Hey, you’re yelling.” Sam pipped up from the back, “Remember what we talked about?” you worriedly watched Dean and glanced back at Sam who gave a hearty thumbs up.

“Yeah I remember. .” Dean griped, taking a deep breath before instructing again, “Okay. When you take your foot off the brake this time, don’t be surprised when the car moves forward. They tend to do that.” Even though he was being an ass you had a serious question,

“Even if I don’t press the gas?” he subtly eyed you,

“Yeah, even if you’re not givin’ her gas.” you barely stopped yourself from asking why, realizing that Dean likely knew the answer and would take you to mechanic school right here in the cab of the Impala. No one wants that.

So you settled with, “Okay.”

“You got this           !” Sam encouraged in the background, but you could practically hear every cell in Dean’s body buzzing with anxiety less than a foot away from you. Okay, show him you can be good at something. Don’t fuck this up. . Make him proud.

With that as your mantra, you eased your toes off the brake once again, trying to keep excitement at bay this time when the car moaned forward. It was only creeping, but you were about ready to squeal with elation already. The Winchesters put up with the grandma pace for about 45 seconds. Solid.

“Uh,         ?” Sam prompted,

“Yeah.” you bit your lip, hovering your foot over the gas pedal like a puss,

Sam paused for a moment, “You gonna. . take us anywhere?” Dean was being good and not saying anything just yet, but his lips were pushed out while he waited.

“So I j-just. .” you swallowed, wishing there wasn’t so much pressure on you, “Push down on it?”

Sam nodded, “Gently.”

Dean seemed to be starting to feel bad for accidentally making you so nervous, so he said,

“Relax, you can do this. You wouldn’t be sittin’ there if I didn’t trust ya, alright?” you nodded without looking, hands 10 and 2 like you’d been told and completely ready for action. “Get excited sweetheart, I know you wanna.” you let out a huge breath and smiled just before rolling down your window and finally kissing the gas with your sneaker.

It jumped forward and you squealed, giggling as it began to pick up some speed.

“There ya go baby!” Dean hollered with one hand on the dash and the other hovering about a foot off from the steering wheel. Sam was clapping for you, grinning from ear to ear when you glanced in the rearview, “Come on, get ‘er up to 35.” you listened to your coach and ramped the engine up to Dean’s desired speed,

“It feels fast!” you cried over the blowing wind,

“It’s not!” he called back with a shake of his head. So taking his word for it you gave the road all of your attention, spying your next obstacle ahead: A slight turn. Dean took it as a learning opportunity,

“See that curve up ahead?”

“Mmhm!” you nodded,

“Good,” he chuckled, “when you’re driving, you always want to be looking a good distance ahead for things like turns, other cars, big rocks in the road, deer, whatever. . So that way you don’t come up on em too fast to make a correction.” when you chose focusing on the road over answering him he asked, “Got it?”

“Oh, yeah yeah Dean I got it!” Tongue poking out from between your lips, you worked on staying in your lane on the turn while at the same time trying not to get too close to the ditch. It was hard for a beginner like yourself, but Dean came to the rescue,

“Doin’ good sweetheart. . doin’ real good.” you were glowing. Praise from a Winchester ? That was a rare gift indeed. “See that rock in your lane?” he pointed, but you weren’t seeing it,

“I -”

“Baby’s too low to the ground to straddle that, so you’re gonna wanna miss it.” you still didn’t see it, “You’re gettin’ a little close kid -” at the last second you spotted the rather large gray rock blending into the gravel and swerved sharply to the left side of the road, clenching every muscle in your body and white knuckling the wheel.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” you frantically apologized, shying away from Dean a little bit while the car slowed down. Sam took this one,

“Sorry for what?” he leaned forward in the backseat to speak next to your head, “you took that turn a little sharply, but you missed the rock so it’s alright.”

Dean agreed after letting out a huge breath, “Yeah. Yeah it’ll just take you a bit to get used to the timing of it all I guess.”

“But I went to the wrong side of the road. .” both brothers snorted, and it gave you instant relief. Dean’s voice was easy,

“Even on a highway out here, if you can clearly see up ahead for a ways and there aren’t any cars coming, it’s alright to avoid shit by gettin’ into the other lane. Better than bustin’ up the bottom of your ride.” Sam added,

“Freeways are a different story, but that’s a long ways off for you yet.” the youngest Winchester reached up to ruffle your hair in reassurance, “Keep up the questions.” and then he patted his brother right on the head, which of course made Dean instantly ruffle up and grunt a noise of distress.

You giggled, shaking your head at them both, watching Dean bat at Sam in the backseat when all of a sudden Sam shot forward to grab the steering wheel,

“           !” whirling with a scream of your own you saw the last inch of road disappear under the Impala as the three of you flew nose first into a ditch. Panicking, you slammed your foot down toward the pedals and stomped the gas which simultaneously jumped you over a large boulder and flooded the engine.

The car came to an abrupt stop, jolting you forward hard enough that the seat belt popped your shoulder nearly out of place. Thankfully there was too much adrenaline pumping in your system to feel it much.

However, when you realized what you’d done, you wished you would have cracked your head on the steering wheel.

You just crashed the Impala.

The Winchester’s Impala.

Dean’s Baby.

Immediately you were crying. Who wouldn’t? The tears were silent but Dean, who was staring right through you, could see them clearly. His expression was one of nightmares.

“I. .” you shrilled, cowering into the driver's door and covering your mouth with both hands. The man’s green eyes were so darkened with rage that they had to almost be black, his nostrils flared with labored breaths, and his full lips pressed into a line that you didn’t ever want to open.

I am so dead. Without a word, but staring at you the whole time, Dean threw open the passenger door and ducked out, slamming it so hard that you thought your heart might stop.

“ S-Saaam ?” you whined, sniveling and fumbling with the seatbelt trapping you. Sam was up in an instant, grabbing at you to make sure you were alright,

“Are you hurt?” he clamped a hand around your shoulder wrong and made you yelp, “Shit, what is it?” you were just about to answer him when the boiling man outside roared a string of curses and kicked the bumper hard enough to resonate through the car.

“Oh God oh God. .” you whimpered, wondering how far you’d be able to make through the fields on foot. You remembered how easily Sam had caught you on the highway the night you’d cut the backseat and based on your most recent adventure, trying to escape into the forest wasn’t an option.

Your tears began to flow a little harder. “Sam I’m so sorry, oh shit Dean’s gonna kill me - he’s really gonna kill me this time!” you wept, trying again to get loose of the seat belt buckle when something occurred to you, “are - are you mad?”

“Hey, hey shh,” Sam soothed, placing a big gentle hand on his shoulder and easily unbuckling you with the other, “The ditch is shallow, there’s probably no damage alright? I'm not mad sweetie. You’re gonna be fine. Let’s just get out and -”

“No!” you cried whirling on him like he was insane, “I don’t wanna go out there. . Are you crazy?” on cue Dean delivered another round of beatings to the dusty hood of the Impala,

“          !” he yelled, “Get out here.” you didn’t move, not even as Sam unloaded, and when Dean began stomping his way over to your door you began to hiccup on your tears. Guts twisting up and feeling like you had to pee, you just started yelling through the door,

“Wait, wait - I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Dean!” it came out high pitched and hysterical, but the fuming man wrenched your door open anyway and wasted no time in hauling you out roughly by your arm, “Ow!” you sobbed and stumbled out, “Dean I’m sorry please don’t be mad at me. .” he kept hold of your arm, squeezing it much too hard as he walked away from the car.

All you could do was let him tow you around while you babbled, “I - I didn’t mean to! I got distracted and I wasn’t watching the road I - I -” you hiccuped and sobbed like a baby, “I’m so sorry Dean I -I’m so sorry!” It was then that you opted for trying to get away from him, it felt like he was much too angry to handle this rationally,

“Knock it off,” he tightened his impossible hold and jerked you hard, finally grabbing your other arm to face you and hold you still,

You sobbed once before managing words, voice much smaller now that he was in your face, “Please don’t be mad Dean I d-didn’t mean to. .” it was all you could do not to look at him. Just like Sam had, Dean raked your body for any signs of injury, patting and groping wherever he thought necessary.

Of course you just let him run his course, not willing to tell him anything different at the moment. He huffed hard two times and kept a lighter hold on your arms,

“Goddammit           . . You alright? You hurt?” concern was laced in with his anger and offered you some comfort in the fact that Dean hadn’t totally lost his head. Yet.

“No. I’m okay,” you lied, forgetting about the pain in your shoulder in the face of certain danger.

Dean puffed a breath of relief, shifting and nodding while he kneaded the tops of your arms fretfully. “What. . what the hell happened?” his voice raised a little, and his grip tightened as his anger began to build back up, you were too afraid to tell him that he was hurting you. That is until one of his strong hands latched onto your injured shoulder,

“Ah -”

“Rule number one when it comes to driving? Watch the FUCKING road, you understand?” biting your lip was doing nothing to quell the whimpers that came with getting screamed at by a man, plus your shoulder was on fire now. . And you were embarrassed.

Sam chose this moment to intervene, “Hey!” he was still over by the car.

“Ow Dean -”

“Do. You. Under. Stand.” he rumbled lowly, ignoring you and his brother,

“Yes!” finally you reached your pain threshold, and succumbed to sobbing, “Y-you’re - Please -”

“Quiet.” he growled, shaking you lightly. “Look at me.” his voice was tight and low. You shook your head at the ground, snivelling and to your humiliation, actually shaking a little. You were scared shitless. “Sweetheart, you’re gonna wanna do as I say right about now.”

“Dean! Hey!” Sam roared again from the ditch, sounding equal parts angry and concerned.

“Look at me          .” he demanded again. Terrified of seeing that wrathful expression, you slowly raised your swimming eyes all the way up to the man who was surely about to shoot you in the road. The Hunter cataloged your teary face right down to your trembling lips, “There ya go.” he didn’t appear to be as angry as he was in the car, but there was still definite murder in his eyes that had you shaking in your shoes.

“I’m sorry Dean,” you repeated, too freaked out to even comprehend what he was saying, “P-please. . you’re hurting me. . m-my shoulder. .” his eyes widened a fraction and there was a beat where it looked like his brain was trying to shift gears.

Then his hands came off of you quicker than lightning, to hover open over your shoulders. You wrapped your arms around yourself, sniveling miserably yet not daring to look away from his face.

Gravel crunching alerted you to Sam’s approach, but there was no way in hell you were taking your eyes off of Dean right then. You were just sure his fury storm wasn’t over. This couldn’t be it could it? I wrecked Baby. .

“Dean she’s got a hurt shoulder,” Sam started. He was always coming in to save you, “she didn’t mean to alright? We should have been paying more attention -”

“Fuck. . I know it.” Dean interrupted, squinting his eyes at you and swallowing hard, “I know she didn’t mean to. I’m not. . mad.” that last word was clearly hard to get out, “At you sweetheart, I’m not mad at you. I’m just mad.” you gulped still quietly crying, but now that the initial adrenaline was beginning to wear off, your shoulder was really beginning to throb.

“We’re all okay,” Sam noted, “that’s what matters. If anything is wrong with the Impala, you’ll fix it like you always do alright?” Dean nodded looking a little pouty, “I don’t think there is though, the ditch is pretty damn shallow. Maybe a ding in the fender I could see.” you flinched at the news of the dent, but neither brother seemed to worried about it.

The eldest Winchester finally looked down and seemed to realize that you were still a mess,

“Ah shit baby,” he came forward and gingerly pulled you into a firm hug, you whimpered against the throb in your shoulder, but managed to relax into his chest,

“I’m sorry Dean,” you sniveled for the thousandth time that day, nuzzling against his flannel,

“S’okay, fuck . No, it IS okay.” he rumbled, “I’m sorry too - why’d you tell me you weren’t hurt?” when all you did was shrug, both brothers gave a dry laugh at your expense. With a lingering kiss to the top of your head Dean gently transferred you over to Sam’s arms to gaze at the Impala. When he winced, you did too.

“I’m gonna go see what I can do about Baby. .” he cleared his throat, appearing totally conflicted, “I’m gonna wanna look at that shoulder when we get back home alright?” all you could do was nod. Dean returned the gesture before crunching off and shaking his head.

Dean just looked really tortured.

You followed him to the wreck with Sam on your heels, and watched silently as he re assessed his beloved. Dean took minutes to walk around it a few times, put his hands behind his head, over his mouth, and over his eyes at one point. . he looked like he was trying really hard to keep his cool. Finally he opened the driver side door, sat down, took a deep breath, and cranked the ignition. When the car came roaring to life, you and Sam both let out a breath that you were holding.

Sam leaned down while Dean worked on getting Baby out of the ditch, “You okay?”

“Surprisingly. I can’t believe I’m alive.” Sam chuckled,

“If anyone else did it they wouldn’t be.” you nodded, wondering how that was supposed to make you feel better. Dean pulled the dusty dinged car back up onto the road in record time, and you leaned into Sam who nudged you playfully and started for the passenger seat. However Dean surprised you both by throwing her in park and getting back out.

Oh no here comes the beating. .

“Sam, you’re riding bitch. Sweetheart?” you stared, “Take the wheel you’re not done.” you paled.

“No.” he raised a brow and Sam gave a low whistle as he waltzed to the back door, “No I don’t want to.” Dean marched forward to grab your wrist and drag you to the driver’s side,

“Tough shit, get in.” he demanded,

“N-no Dean I can’t. .” so you were a little gunshy now after crashing his ride. Big deal. Why the hell would he want you to drive it anyway. He shoved you gently toward the open door, “No!” you tried to skirt around him but he caught you and pushed you back in place,

“Hey, hey. You scared?” he leaned down to look at you with a raised brow and you nodded meekly, “Good. You should be. It’s just like fallin’ off a horse sweetheart, you gotta get back on.”

“Dean I don’t want to. .” your lower lip trembled pathetically, and he straightened up tall to cross his arms imposingly,

“Well we ain’t goin anywhere unless you’re behind the wheel.” you fidgeted, wanting to argue more but knowing it was pointless. It was when Sam spoke up that you conceded,

“Come on        , don’t be a baby. I’m getting hungry.” Clearly Sam lost his empathy when he was in need of a sandwich.

“Me too kid, take us home so we can eat.” swallowing thickly you sat down on the leather and turned to touch the wheel. “Atta girl.” Dean praised just as he shut the door. Sam and Dean loaded up and waited patiently for you to kick it in gear, which you did after a two minute deep breathing exercise.

You were trembling for a whole mile before Dean finally said something,

“It might be a good thing that you wrecked like that,” Sam piped up immediately,

“Yeah there’s no better way to get a healthy fear of driving than crashing. Respect the road. .” he chuckled.

It felt like it took two full hours to get back to the Bunker and another hour for you to pull in. . you were being extra careful, scared that you’d crash again because of how easy it was the first time. But finally, fucking finally, you eased on the brakes and came to a stop.

Safe and sound. Home.

Two sets of trained eyes were on you as you reached for the keys to cut the engine. The feeling of being watched made you hesitate,

“Am I. .” Dean smiled softly at you,

“Forgetting something?” he finished knowingly. You paused, studying the steering wheel area trying to jog your memory when Sam leaned up right beside your ear,

“Think ‘shifting’.” he stage whispered,

“Oh!” and just like that you fought the car into park, noting that you’d have to practice shifting more smoothly next time. “Gotta park it.” you grinned childishly when you finally turned the car off. Sam ruffled your hair in response and shoved out of the car mumbling something about you being a cutie, and making lunch or something. Meanwhile Dean had on a huge smile when he patted your thigh and climbed out of the car, and it stayed on his face while he walked to your side to open the door like a true gentleman.

“Good job baby girl.” he rumbled, squeezing you into a half hug and shaking,

“I’m still sorry about -”

“Nah.” you were cut off with a raised hand, “It was your first time out there, gotta make a few mistakes to really get the hang of it. S’alright.” and he meant that, you could tell.

Softly with a grateful smile you said back, “Okay.” and just continued to stare up at him like he was the greatest man in the whole world. Taking advantage of the tender moment, Dean leaned down to plant a warm kiss right on your forehead, only to give you a firm nudge forward and tell you,

“Why don’tcha go see what Sammy’s makin’ for lunch, I’ll be around in a minute. I’ll put in a call for Cas to zap your shoulder.” you followed his orders, but turned to steal a look at him and swelled at the secret smile on his face as he popped Baby’s hood.

There was no trace of the anger you saw from him earlier, he had totally forgiven you. .

Dean just looked really happy.

Feeling alive, you practically skipped to the big kitchen where you knew Sam was milling about, and crashed through the stainless double doors. The big Hunter whirled around, and you were feeling playful.

Taking aim on him with finger guns you yelled, “Stick ‘em up buster!” Instead of rolling his eyes at you and getting back to making his horribly healthy salads, Sam surprised you by throwing up finger guns of his own and dropping down and out of sight behind the island.

“Alright,” you barely heard him over your laughter, “put down your weapons and no one has to get hurt here.”

“Put down my weapons?” you suddenly took on a horrendous Texan accent, “I ain’t no coward, Winchester!” as soon as the playful giant peeked up over the counter you pulled back your wrist in mock recoil and went, “Pew, pew!” Until he dropped back down.

“Alright, so we’ll fight this out kid!” he agreed. Your cheeks were hurting from smiling. Stalking forward to the side of the island, you tried to be as silent as possible, thinking you had Sam right where you wanted him. Only when you turned the corner in a swift ambush, the man was gone.

“Gotcha.”

“AHH!” you squealed, whirling on him only to have your wrists taken up and forced to your chest as you were spun backward and pinned against Sam. “No!”

“Any last words          ?” he used your last name coldly, and brought his aimed fingers up to your temple in slow suspense. You struggled uselessly, careful of your injury.

“You’ll pay for this Winchester!” you cried, only to be shot in the head with an imaginary bullet to lose the impromptu game. “Dammit.” you pouted, sagging back a little in his grip. The back of your head rested on his chest, which was jumping slightly with contented laughter.

“Almost got me, you’re getting a little better.” he released you with a casual pat on the butt, and you hoped up onto the island, watching him get back to making lunch. It was then, in the corner of your eye, when you saw a spying Dean.

The eldest Winchester was leaning up against the doorjamb, arms folded, smile wide, and you knew in a moment that he’d seen your little game play out.

“‘I ain’t no coward’?” he chuckled, “That was about the cutest damned thing I’ve ever seen. You too Sammy.” Sam didn't’ even pause his vegetable chopping, but he snorted.

“Shut it jerk.”

“Bitch.”

A few hours had passed since you had wrecked the Impala, and you’d found yourself back in the garage with a dirtied, fairly sweaty Dean. Since Cas hadn’t showed yet, your shoulder was still tweaked, but his Baby was fine.

That’s not why you were in there.

He had gotten started almost right away with working on your new truck, and just like every other session, Dean dragged you along to “watch and learn”. The guy had already taken apart the engine and put it back together, knocked out the various dents speckling the beast of a truck, and somehow gotten your headlights, taillights, and brake lights to fully function.

Of course you’d witnessed all of this, but there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell you’d be able to tell him how it was done. How Dean had so much mechanical knowledge was beyond you.

You were impressed. It was as if he was speaking another language, and none of it was sticking. The most that came out of the lessons was faint frustration from you, teasing from the older man, and more grimy clothes.

At the moment, you were standing on a stool in front of the open hood, staring up at Dean with wide blank (e/c) eyes.

His face was hard, “If I gotta tell you which one is a torque wrench one more time, I think I might start screamin’.” with a gulp you lowered your gaze back to the toolbox resting on the edge of the grill, already feeling that hideous frustration pressurizing in your chest.

“Umm. .” you hesitated, hovering a hand over the mess of tools in the rusty box. “This one. .?” pinching a wrench delicately between your fingers you handed it to Dean, who was wearing a discouragingly tight smile. He took it only to toss it back in the box.

Passive aggressive much?

“Nope, try again sister.” but he was patient. The rugged man continued to surprise you with his everlasting patience. Never once had he raised his voice, been cold, or even sighed heavily at your expense during your lessons in the garage.

Sure there was a little taunting every so often, but it was expected from him. Blowing out a huge breath of air, you chose again, holding it up hopefully and getting virtually no response. Wrong again.

“Dammit!” you flicked the little wrench back into the box with too much gumption and sent the entire toolbox toppling to the concrete floor to spill with an uproarious crashing, “DAMMIT!” you practically screamed, hopping off of your stool to take a seat on it.

Running your dirty fingers through your hair, you tried to calm down, but honestly you’d never felt more stupid in your life. “Dean, I’m sorry, but I’m never gonna get this! I just keep forgetting everything I learn and there’s too much, too many words, too many parts ugh - how the hell do you remember everything!”

Instead of getting pissed and matching your elevated tone, Dean noisily drug a stool of his own across the floor and sat down next to you. A comforting hand was placed on your back,

“Hey, it’s okay sweetheart. It’s taken me years to figure all this crap out, I even have to teach Sam something new once in awhile. You’ll get it.” you groaned,

“No I won’t. I think I’m lacking the part of my brain that stores any information about mechanics, it must only be for boys.” at that he busted a hearty laugh and patted your back,

“That’s a bullshit cop out if ya ask me. Now come on,” he stood and offered you a hand, “ain’t no sense in cryin’ over spilt tools, let me teach you something easy and useful.”

You eyed his hand wearily, “What?” his greens glinted humorously,

“How to change your oil.” Nooooooo . If Dean noticed your disdain - which he likely did - he wasn’t saying a thing about it. Instead, he kicked over a bright orange rolling sled that matched his and noncommittally snapped his fingers in an absent command to lay down on it as he did the same.

With a mock sobbing groan you dropped to your knees lightly on the concrete and flopped onto the rolling contraption with a hefty sigh.

“You keep up your cryin’ little girl and I swear I’ll give ya somethin’ to cry about,” when you rolled your head to look at him, Dean honestly had on the irritated big brother/scorned father face.

It was clear he meant the go-to threat.

You groaned again, watching his face darken,

“ Fiiiinnee .” you were walking a thin line, but learning about cars seemed to actually physically hurt you. With a roll of his stormy greens, Dean gripped the edge of your sled, planted his feet, and sent you flying under the truck with on powerful heave.

“Ahh!” you cried out grabbing at the undercarriage and flailing at the sudden loss of control, but you were also giggling. “ Dean !”

“ Whaaat ?” he mimicked you, chuckling along as he slid up beside you beneath the truck. He looked way to big to be under there with you. Dean gifted you a blackened bucket and a wrench of your own, “So whaddya think the first step in changing your oil is?” your giggles died down until you were only staring at the bottom of Gus.

Everything looked the same. You may as well have been looking at the bottom of your childhood Barbie Jeep. And that’s what you told Dean.

He grimaced, “You had a pink Barbie Jeep?”

“Hey! That thing was all kinds of badass!” his frown deepened, so you decided to tease “The white and blue flowers on the side were covered in glitter. . .” the rugged man actually shuddered, “It was like waving my own personal girl power flag every time I drove it.” he smirked at that.

“Well then can I just say, I’m glad that tiny pink sparkly battery operated Barbie Jeeps could empower girls like you everywhere.” okay so when he put it like that it sounded stupid. Once you were put in your place, Dean pointed at a circular knob looking thing. “See that?”

“Yeah. .?” it sounded like a question,

He cleared his throat, “It’s called a drain plug and you’re gonna unscrew it, but make sure you’re not laying right under it cause you’ll get covered in oil.” your face screwed up in disgust and he chuckled, “That’s what you got the bucket for sweetheart.”

“Okay so just. .” reaching up, you fit the wrench over the drain plug and gripped it with two hands, “Unscrew it?” Dean nodded an affirmative and with a grunting effort you managed to loosen the plug.

“There ya go,” Dean cheered you on, helping to position the bucket correctly so you wouldn’t get soaked, “all the way off.” the metal plug came loose before you could grab it and clattered to the floor loudly, making you wince and peek at Dean, worried he was gonna flip out.

Again he remained calm, and twisted around on his sled to pluck the bolt type object from the floor and hand it to you,

“Don’t lose it sweetheart.” you took it with a serious nod and he winked at you, smirking when you reddened. Dean wasn’t going to get mad at you here. It hit you then. The seasoned Hunter was completely at ease right here under this aging truck, doing something he loved, working on cars.

This was his happy place, and not even your clumsy clueless ass could put a damper on it. You suddenly felt privileged to share in this with him.

“Huh.” he squinted at the open valve,

“Shouldn’t there be oil coming out. .?” you ventured, tilting your head to look into it as well,

“Sometimes it takes a bit.” he mumbled. The two of you waited a few minutes, staring at the drain. Nothing happened. “I’ll be damned.” Dean declared, “She’s bone dry! That explains a lot.” his theatrics made you giggle, while you watched him stick a finger into the little hole and wiggle it about, only to come out dry again.

“Do you think you would have been a mechanic?” the question was tactlessly blurted, and it clearly took him by surprise, “I -I mean if you didn’t. . you know. . get sucked into hunting?” oh fuck, did I do it now?

“Probably. Maybe I’d own a bar. . somewhere close to Sammy though I know that.” and then he looked at you with a wry smile, “But I know I’d be bored. And I also know that I wouldn’t’ve met you, so that’s another downside.” your chest swelled and your gut warmed up. Dammit, why does he have to be so sweet to me?

“Sam n’ me wouldn’t trade this life for anything, it’s ruined us, and we love that it did. We aren’t cut out for domestic lives or normality, we tried it out a time or two and it was a disaster.” Dean’s thumb wiped a spot of grime off of your cheek, “You’re about as close as we can get to normal baby girl.”

You swallowed, smiling softly, “You two haven’t scared me away yet.”

Dean huffed a quiet laugh, “Guess we’ll have to try harder.”

“Give it your best shot. .” you murmured quietly. The both of you were gazing at each other, in a momentarily quiet atmosphere. Had this been a romantic movie, it would have been the set up to a mind blowing kiss, but since it was just you and Dean there was only quiet.

However he had a curious lit to his dirt speckled features. Explosive wing beats shattered the somber quiet,

“SHIT!” you screamed, flailing your legs out from under the car and nearly banging your head on the oil pan. Instead of startling like you, Dean only let his head drop onto his sled with a long suffering eye roll,

“Cas. .” he groaned, “Bad timing buddy.”

“You called,” his deep voice rumbled from beside the truck, and you finally located his eternally clean dress shoes by the front bumper,

“Took you long enough,” Dean griped, pushing himself out from under the truck and coiling to his feet. You followed after a moment of catching your breath to catch the tail end of Dean’s sentence, “. . got a tweaked shoulder.”

Brushing yourself off beside Dean you were leveled with a serious blue stare, “You crashed the Impala?”

You gulped, “Yes?”

“You are alive.”

“Um. . it wasn’t a bad accident. I just went into the ditch. .” Castiel actually smirked at you,

“I wasn’t referring to the accident itself           .” Oh. Oh he’s talking about Dean murdering me. Got it.

“Oh.” you glanced at Dean who simply winked at you, and shoved you toward the Angel.

“So whaddaya say man? Fix’er up?” you were staring worriedly at Castiel who was returning it with his normal passively critical stare. His brutal lecture that night in the meadow was still freshly stinging in your mind, and you hadn’t really gotten a chance to talk to him since then. It was almost like starting all over with the resident Angel, you weren’t sure whether or not he liked you anymore.

Dean seemed to sense the tension, “It’d be like a late birthday present, I bet she’ll call it even.” Only then did Castiel look up from your stare off to burn his blues into Dean. . who was likely doing it right back.

“No.” you heart dropped, but what he said next was even more unexpected, “I already have a gift in mind.            ,” he addressed you, “Allow me.” his big hand came out to grip your shoulder, and instantly that familiar blue light resonated from his palm, making you wince naturally.

You never liked it when Cas used his power on you, it was a little frightening.

“Now, as for your gift.” he rumbled, “I’d like to take you out. On a date.” you gaped open mouthed at him, feeling ice from Dean’s mood change behind you.

He answered for you, “Excuse me?” Cas only blinked once slowly and answered again,

“I’d like to take our girl on a date, Dean.” again you only stared up at him, while the most protective Winchester asked what the fuck he was talking about again, but in a louder register. Finally you found your voice, and however quiet it was, as soon as you spoke all attention was on you,

“Wh. . what?” Cas looked down on you with that same impassiveness, but there was something else far in his eyes. It distracted from the daggers piercing your back from behind.

“Do I have to repeat myself again?” he asked, not unkindly. You gulped, hesitantly asking,

“You. . um, you wanna take me on a date? Like a date with you ?” he stared while you floundered, “You and me together. On a date. Like, the two of us?” Cas sort of tilted his chin down to you with wide put out eyes, only to look to Dean again for help who spoke up grumpily,

“Jesus kid, yeah that’s what he’s saying.” finally you turned and stepped back so you could see both men staring hard at each other.

“But -but I’m -” neither of them looked at you, and while Dean looked about boiling mad, his Angel friend was squinting at him in borderline confusion. Head tilt and all. “I’m sixteen. .” you stuttered. Cas spoke but still didn’t look at you,

“Of course you are.” he answered, “However, I read your diary and it proved to be rather eye opening.”

“You what?!” you cried, finally earning the full attention of both green and blue stares, “Why the hell would you read my diary?” you yelled at him, again getting no reaction,

“Why put your thoughts in writing if not to read them?” you only stared at him, feeling completely violated. He must have noticed, “I apologize.” he finally told you. After a beat of absorbing silence he continued, “But my findings have allowed me to learn a lot about you, about the way your mind works. And I think a date is the perfect gift for your sixteenth birthday.”

The way he was looking at you, like you shared a secret, jogged your memory to the exact entry he must have read. Just like that your heart softened. Oh. .

“Oh.” Castiel straightened with a triumphant little smile when he saw the obvious dawning and the grateful shining of your (e/c) eyes. Dean was still hopping,

“Oh? Oh what ? What the fuck does that mean?” before you could stop him, Cas was answering for you,

“             has never had a “real” first date, nor has she had a worthy partner to share one with. In fact if I remember correctly she wrote,” he looked up slightly and quoted you to your absolute humiliation,

“ ‘I’m scared I’ll never know what it feels like to be with someone who really cares about me. I’ve never even been on a real date, and the closest I’ve gotten is with a boy who turned out to be a demon.’ ” he finished with an innocent shrug, “So I wish to show her what that feels like. I care about her, so I’m taking her on a “real” date.”

Dean’s whole face abruptly went flat as if he’d just been slapped with facts, and then he glanced at you, clearly having no clue what to say.

Cas smiled a little then and spoke to you, “However, you will have to find someone else to take care of your ‘40 year old virgin’ concern. I understand that would be inappropriate.” another direct diary quote.

“ CAS !” you covered your eyes, face burning with embarrassment, only to hear the Angel huff a laugh to himself. He’s hardly as naive as he’d like everyone to believe.

Dean sighed harshly, making you wince, “A date, huh?”

“Correct.” Castiel affirmed, “An innocent one I assure you.” if you were being honest with yourself, this was the sweetest thing ever. Castiel, an Angel of the Lord, took the time to snoop through your private thoughts in an effort to find the perfect birthday present for you.

Not only that but he took it upon himself to rid you of one of your most nagging worries. As if he didn’t have a bunch of other shit to do.

“Sweetheart?” Dean pulled you back to the present where this was really happening, and you peeked out from behind your fingers to find him looking at you apprehensively, “You wanna go with Cas?”

Glancing at the Angel in question you found him wearing a soft warm smile that was extremely reassuring. God. . all of the things he must’ve read about me. He knows everything.

“Um. . yeah." you let an honest smile fall into place, "It actually sounds really nice.” Dean’s shoulders dropped a tiny bit and he scrubbed a hand over his face,

“Fine. We’ll work on Gus more tomorrow.” he pointed at Cas, “Home before 10 and no weird shit, got me?” wow this is like a real date.

“Of course Dean.” Castiel nodded and offered you his hand, and you smiled so hard that it hurt your cheeks. You couldn’t lie to yourself or anybody else anymore: you were super fucking excited.

“Wait!” Cas raised his brow, and you bashfully gestured down to yourself, “I’m all covered in oil. .” keeping his soft smile on his face, he raised his hand and snapped, making you flinch nervously.

Instead of exploding into bits, you were suddenly just very uncomfortable. . but very attractive. Castiel had changed your outfit with the friction of his fingers. Taking you from leggings and a dirty tank top, to a beautiful red dress with tasteful black high heels.

Even your hair was suddenly down and curled.

“Oh wow. .” you breathed, looking down at yourself. Dean gave a low whistle and leaned back on your truck to look at you, his hands went into his pockets as he did his blatant assessment,

“I’ll be damned baby girl, you’re pretty after all.” normally you would have told him to shove it, but instead took the thinly veiled compliment with a flushing of your cheeks and nervous giggle. Castiel took your attention back with one word,

“Cute.” what a strange word to come out of such a powerful entity’s mouth, “Is that better?” he verified, and you nodded aggressively, much appreciating his taste when it came to women’s clothing.

With a squeeze of his hand, the world went blurry and you could faintly hear Dean’s voice saying “have fun sweetheart” as you seemed to spin through space. For a moment you couldn’t even see Cas, it was just blinding brightness and a sort of nauseous feeling until your feet were suddenly on solid ground and you were pitching to your hands and knees.

Luckily Castiel caught you before you face planted and hauled you up easily to right you and your lack of balance.

“Holy crap,” you squeaked, clutching onto him, “I didn’t like that. .”

“My apologies, I forget the effects teleportation can have on humans.” when you got your bearings back, you chanced a look around. Cobblestone sidewalks, a huge beautiful winery with an outdoor staircase to a restaurant balcony, decorative wooden barrels, various fire pits, and vast fields of wine grapes surrounded you.  

“Cas. . where are we?” his chest rumbled against your ear with a low hum, it wasn’t missed by you that passersby were double taking at your coupling, but you were with Castiel. You didn’t care because you trusted him. . and it made you feel warm inside. Safe somehow. Just utterly happy.

How a date was supposed to feel.

“Just outside of the city, Sam didn’t want me to take you to Rome yet. This was as similar as I could get. .” Sam knew about this?? Figures. Honestly the place did look like Rome, it was fancy and high brow. . not somewhere you’d ever picture your 16 year old self.

“It’s really pretty.” you murmured as you took in the rolling hill view under the darkening twilight. A man leisurely moved about the sidewalk lighting free standing torches along the way to prepare for the night.

It was so homey that it was giving you chills,

“Beautiful.” Cas agreed, matching your low tone and keeping you anchored to him with one arm. Just in time a small bald waiter waddled up to you, glancing sideways at you draped over Castiel momentarily before speaking to the man himself,

“Table for Winchester?” you grinned as Cas nodded and let the plump little man guide the two of you up the stairs. Like a true gentleman Cas kept his hand on your elbow for the duration of the trip, not even mentioning your slow pace that came from no experience in heels.

Of course your table was right on the edge of the balcony, overlooking the grape fields and the setting sun.

There was a small bowl of flaming broken glass as a centerpiece and two glasses of what appeared to be red wine. You wrinkled your nose, receiving a chuckle from Cas as he pulled your chair out,

“Trust me, you’ll like it.” you reached for the delicate looking glass as you sat down and tentatively sniffed it under the watchful blue eyes of your Angel. You chanced a sip just as he sat down across from you, and straightened up with a giddy grin,

“Grape juice?” you said it loud enough that people turned to look at you, but honestly with the way Castiel was laughing, the way his smile showed all of his teeth, you didn’t give a shit about anyone else but him. You loved this Angel. Of course not in the romantic sense of the word. . you just fucking loved him.

The way you loved Sam and Dean. Plain and simple.

The chubby little waiter came back, hands behind his back, and prompted you to order. Social anxiety made an appearance and your mind totally blanked on what kind of food this place might serve. Fancy for sure. . Oh no should I order duck? I feel like I’ve seen that on a movie before. .

Ever the mind reader, Cas seemed to sense your internal panic and reached across the table with a steadying hand to grasp yours,

“Whatever you want darling.” he used your fathers endearment again, of course on purpose, but every time he did it it made you feel at ease. Strange how a single familiar word can do that to a person. So you straightened your shoulders and told the kind faced man in black,

“I would like a grilled cheese and tomato soup please.” only after a second of faltering, the man nodded with a smile,

“Of course miss.” satisfied, Castiel leaned back in his chair and winked at you, telling the waiter that he’d have the same. The waiter bumbled off, leaving you to watch Cas straighten his blue tie in the glowing fire light. His brow was furrowed with a kind of slight concentration that made him look sort of adorable.

If an Angel of the Lord would be adorable.

There was a slight chill in the air so you put your hands up near the flame, becoming easily mesmerized by the hot orange flicker. The gesture caught his attention and with a wry smile he leaned up to put his elbows on the table,

“Do you enjoy magic?” normally if a man asked that question on a date, it would be justified for the woman to ask for the check thereafter, but since it was Cas you knew this was legit.

“Of course,” you murmured, making him smile that big out of place smile again, “I don’t really think about it much anymore though. .” you thought of how different you were nowadays. Without your parents, being forced to grow up quickly. Cas looked to be pondering,

“It would be a shame to let life take away your youth         .” you scoffed,

“Isn’t that how it works? You live long enough that you aren’t a kid anymore and then you die.” as you were saying the words though, you knew Cas was sitting on a gold mine.

“Youth has nothing to do with age. It’s about how you feel inside. Your soul really.” he informed you, “Dean has youth, Sam as well. No matter what you’ve gone through it’s important to keep that joy.” when you stayed quiet he leaned forward more and splayed his big hands in front of the flames.

They seemed to grow until his face was almost shielded, but you could tell that his smile was back,

“I, for example, am nearly as old as time. Yet,” suddenly the fire turned from orange to a brilliant shade of blue. Cas’s eyes happily crinkled at your stunned gasp, “I still derive joy from trivial things such as this. .” it turned purple next, then bright pink, dark green, magenta, and back to orange while you watched like he was hypnotizing you.

Often you forgot that Cas had real magic. Grace, he called it, but to you it was just magic. Just when you thought the show was over, the Angel reached out and closed his hand around the upper part of the flame,

“Cas!” you whispered harshly, yet giggly because he was exciting you. When he took his hand back and turned it over there was a tiny version of the fire dancing around on his palm. With his other hand, he gripped your wrist. Oh no. .

“Wait, wait, wait. .” you balked, not liking where this was going. With celestial strength, Cas forced your palm open with his thumb and finger and brought the miniature fire closer to your hand. “ Cas ?”

You sat up in your chair nervously, curling your toes as you waited for excruciating pain. It came as a surprise when the fire hovered over to sit on your palm that there was none. It was very warm yes, but there was no pain, no burn. You were holding fire. Oh my God. .

Finally releasing you, he twined his fingers together in front of him on the table to watch you pick up the flame and stare at it. Your expression must’ve screamed wonder, because it looked like the Angel was getting a lot of satisfaction out of your reaction.

After a moment, when people started to notice a real life fire bender in the table across from them, Cas quickly moved forward, took your wrist, and blew out the flame on your palm. Your eyes locked.

“I love you.” you blurted tactlessly, then tried to recover, “I’m sorry, but really, I just love you so much.” he grinned and leaned back in his chair again, huffing a laugh,

“That was easy.” he commented softly,

Your brow furrowed, “What was?”

“Your forgiveness.” he told you earnestly, “I haven’t forgotten my unkind words in the forest, and while I stand by them, I’ve been made to realize that they could have been more. . gentle.” you silently wondered who made him realize that. “I was too harsh with you, and I apologize. You are young, with a lot to learn. . That is easy for me to forget on occasion.”

“Honestly Cas?” you ventured, avoiding his curious eye, “It wasn’t so much the words that hurt my feelings. .”

“Oh?” he inclined his head in peaking interest,

“Yeah. .” you started, “It was that I thought you were mad at me. . that you thought I was stupid. That hurt more than anything.”

“I was angry with you           .” you head hung slightly, “Never permanently of course. I couldn’t be.” you looked up at him then, and he looked soft, more open than you had really ever seen him. Like the night of Halloween when you found out he could speak to your parents.

“Well. . . It’s okay.” you smiled small, “I’m just happy that you still like me.” he flashed a kind smirk at that,

“For Angels, relationships run much deeper than only ‘like’          . The Winchesters have become something like family to me, a kind of bond that can’t be broken by a simple disagreement.” that warmed you to think about, that and the recollection that this table was reserved for ‘Winchester’. “Now there’s you. And I love you too.” you sat back and actually put on hand over your heart and the other over your mouth, feeling your eyes sting.

Don’t you cry, don’t you bitch out right now!

“Oh, Cas. . .” you whined ridiculously, and received an earnest nod from the Angel. A team of waiters chose that moment to set up camp and start passing out your soup and sandwiches. You said your thank you’s while still trying to get a grip, only to have another thing make you feel like crying.

A little black box was stealthily set down next to your cloth napkin just before the servers bustled away.

You whispered, reaching for it, “What’s this?” he smiled,

“Your actual present.” you studied it, “Open it.” so you did and just like you thought there would be, there was a ring inside. A small silver band with tiny engravings that were so small you could hardly make them out. “Since you have sigils carved into your ribs, I can’t track you unless you tell me where you are. When you wear that, I’ll be able to find you no matter what.”

“But Angels -”

“Only me.” he assured you, “It’s safe, I promise. I’ll never let anything happen to you. Never.” and then with a little smirk he added, “Technically I already have your pure soul to myself.” so you took it out of the little box and slid it onto your right hand ring finger. Just having that Castiel tracking device made you feel safe.

“Thank you. . It’s a wonderful gift.”

“I thought it would be, since you get yourself into trouble so often.” you picked a piece of your crust from your sandwich and threw it at him playfully, making him chuckle low. “Eat your food         , it’s likely overpriced.”

The night grew darker, you and Castiel finished your meal and sat up on the balcony talking for what felt like hours. It was well past your Dean set curfew, but since Cas didn’t seem worried, you didn’t either. You talked about a lot of things, your diary included, and he was oddly reassuring about your concerns.

Even told you that he had technically been a virgin for millions of years and there was nothing cripplingly inept about him, which of course made you laugh for like 20 minutes.

As the night felt like it should come to an end, Castiel draped his infamous trench coat over your shoulders and took your arm in his. It smelled like him, honey and spice. . with what had to be wildflowers.

He walked you around the vineyard and to the parking lot as if you were a normal couple that had driven there, and were leaving for the night.

“Ugh, I want to live here. .” you whined looking around longingly and inhaling the crisp fresh air of the country. The Angel by your side hummed low in agreement, and copied your sniffing of the air.

Neither of you could’ve seen a bad thing coming right then. But of course in the world of the supernatural, a good moment didn’t last forever. You and Castiel were about due.

Distant movement in the far away parking lot registered in your lazy peripheral, but an oddly familiar sound of distress is what made you turn your head. Squinting through the darkness you could see a skinny blonde girl standing in a parking space a quarter of a mile away, staring at you like she’d seen a ghost.

It took a moment but recognition struck like lightning and you felt a mixture of relief and dread.

Erika. It was Erika.

“Oh my God. .” you moved slightly off of Cas, noticing even from afar the way her seemingly swollen lower lip trembled while she stared at you. Castiel was at attention immediately and also stiffened, clearly prepared for a fight. But that’s not what you wanted.

Gulping, you stepped away from him, uncertainly stopping at the lip of the curb. She looked even bonier than the last time you saw each other, and that was making you feel sick. . she looked like Hell.

Yet there you stood trussed up in a gown and heels like you’d just stepped off the runway. Good God I’m gonna vomit.

“Erika?” it was mostly mouthed since she was far off anyway, but she nodded, finally rushing toward you between the bushes and across dividing road. Cas caught your arm when you moved to hop off the cobblestone walkway,

“You know this girl?” he was dead serious,

“Yes, yes,” you nodded trying to gently twist out of his grip but he wasn’t letting you go. Ever try to out muscle an Angel? Yeah it doesn’t work well. “Cas, I’ve got to talk to her.” he seemed conflicted, but he finally released you to let you run across the road and meet your frenemy in the middle of it.

“          ,” she wrapped you in a weak hug that was meant to be strong, her blonde hair greasy and unkempt next to your face. There was desperation in that hug.

“Erika,” you repeated, a little frantically, “What are you - where have you been?” you pulled back to look at her. Tired blue eyes, fading bruises, and a horrendous fat lip stared back at you and you had to cover your mouth to keep from gasping, “Oh my God. .” you muttered again. She nodded, eyes swimming,

“It’s been a rough couple months for me. .” she swallowed hard and took up your hands in her frail ones, “Daddy loves his wine. . well any drink really.” she huffed a tired laugh, “But you know how they are when they get a hankering for something. .”

“He’s here?” you looked around nervously,

“Yeah, just inside for a second so I don’t have a lot of time.” he said it quickly and just like that had your full attention,

She looked like she was about to cry, “I just um, I wanted to say that uh. . .” it looked like she was struggling, “I’m sorry. For all that shit I tried to pull on you, you were right to stand up for yourself and. . Well I just want you to know I’m sorry okay?”

“It’s - it’s okay, I already forgave you remember?” you squeezed her hands and watched her nod, finally meeting your gaze with a barely there smile,

“You look nice.” your heart was in pain,

“Erika,” you leaned in like the fact that she looked like a walking punching bag was a secret, “What’s happened?” again she looked to the cobblestones,

“It’s not a big deal, nothing new. Only two more years and I’ll be free.” you shook your head,

“No. No, no listen -”

“I heard you aren’t going to school anymore,” she changed the subject, “Gemma told me the other day. I was hoping that when I got back I’d have a real friend, but since you aren’t there I’m glad I ran into you so I could apologize.”

“We can still be friends. . Erika please let me help you.” her eyes widened like she was actually frightened for a moment,

“It’s not your story,” she whispered, “you don’t have to cameo in it.” and a little twinge of something like an impish grin graced her pretty yet broken face. You knew that you two would have made great friends.

“         .” that ocean deep voice vibrated up from behind you and Erika’s little hands clenched in yours. You watched her wide eyes look up over your shoulder and she visibly shuddered at seeing Castiel, the obvious fear toward any random man was enough to make you cry. So broken.

“I -I. .” she stuttered tremulously, “I’ve gotta go. It was good to see you          , you look so beautiful.”

“No wait, you don’t have to go Erika he’s -”

“ERIKA!” both of you jumped at the rage filled belligerent shout from the parking lot, and her pretty blue eyes welled before she dropped your hands,

“See you around,” she backed off, casting one more frightened glance at Castiel before her father roared again,

“ERIKA WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?” your throat felt tight, and all three of you pretended like you didn’t hear him behind the bushes in the parking lot muttering, “You dumb little whore, when I get my hands on you. .” she covered her mouth and finally turned away to run back to the parking lot,

“Coming daddy!”

“Oh God. .” you spun around to face your trench coat clad friend, “Cas?” he was watching over you across the road with a furrowed brow. “We can’t just walk away from that. . We can’t.” again no answer for a moment, but he gestured to come to him,

“This isn’t our issue         , she didn’t want help.” you were expecting some hesitance but this was unbelievable. However when a muffled little yelp touched your ear drums, Castiel zeroed in on the sound and bristled visibly.

Clear sounds of skin hitting skin became evident and there were soft sobs like someone was trying very hard to be quiet. That’s when Cas broke. Abandoning you on the sidewalk, he swiftly marched to the hedges with fists clenched at his sides and eyes glowing a subtle blue.

Sniveling slightly, you ran after him, rounding the bush to find Erika on the ground being kicked mercilessly over and over again by this thing that called himself her father.

She was retching, but silent, curled into herself to protect her stomach and taking the brunt of the assault on her back and rib cage.

“STOP!” you screamed at the man, moving forward only to be thrown into the pokey hedges by one sweep of Cas’s arm. He wasn’t fucking around. However at your wail the man turned, and what you saw made your entire body freeze.

Black eyes.

Erika’s father was a demon.

Someone was screaming high pitched and terrified. . you realized with a start that it was actually you. Castiel’s entire demeanor changed and you could see wheels turning in his head faster that a normal human could think. . but you knew where his train of thought was headed.

Don’t do it Cas.

I’m sorry.

Castiel lunged at you, wrapping your thrashing form up with his a millisecond before your gut rolled and your head pounded.

“NO!” you screamed as he teleported with you, and beat at him when you felt the cold stone of the concrete floor of the Bunker hard on your ass. “NO NO NO!” you screamed, thrashing and pummeling him with as much force as you could.

Of course you weren’t hurting him like you would a human, but it was the thought that counted. It took a moment to realize you were sobbing, Cas wasn’t letting your go.

Instead he was forcing a hug, balling you up and squeezing you like it would soften the blow of abandoning Erika. . and after a second of resisting you found yourself balling with abandon into his trench coat.

Somewhere in the background you heard Dean’s uncertain husky voice,

“Good date I take it?”

Chapter Text

6:20 p.m. On a Friday.

I have to do something. Anything. . Why are they just sitting around?

Your mind was restless, as you sat rigid in the war room with the very quiet, very edgy Winchesters. It was the night after the attack at the winery, the atmosphere was tense, so much so that you were afraid to speak. It had been like that since Cas chose to zap you home last night. Poor Erika. . She had been abandoned in that parking lot without a hope in the world.it w

It was hard not to picture the way that man was hurting her. As if she wasn't 100 pounds lighter than him and 100 times weaker. . it made your stomach roll. . as well as your tears. You may have missed it, but both Sam and Dean were acutely aware that silent pained liquid had been leaking out of your eyes for the past 24 hours.

Dean spoke so suddenly it made you jump,

"I'm sorry you had to see that sweetheart." he leaned forward with tight pressed lips, blinking like he wanted to reach out and touch you but he was across the table. You attempted a casual shrug, but your face ended up crumbling like an amature and Sam rose immediatly to come save you.

You sniveled, "S-sorry." it came out high and whiny, making both men wince a little. They'd never get used to tears. Sam took a knee in front of you, wiping the moisture off of your cheeks with his long fingers. Rumbling and sighing quietly like he felt your pain. "Why aren't you helping her? Why haven't you saved her? Or Cas? Cas could do something!" 

Displeasure started to emanate from Dean across the table, you'd been over this line of questioning many times since last night and now they just made him angry. Like you were accusing him or something. Gulping and taking a deep breath you tried out a new line, "What if it was me? What if that was me with that thing and not Erika?" Dean's jaw popped with how hard he clenched it and Sam squeezed your hand a little too hard.

"          " Sam was measured, it was frustrating, "We've been over this. Cas thinks that this is a trap set up by Crowley to. . take you away from us. Your soul is rare and he wants it. We're going to help Erika, we just need to be smart about it. Make a plan, figure out what to do with her after." 

"What to do with her?" you cried, sitting up a little further toward him, "God Sam, let her stay here! She's being abused by a demon every day - has been for years! This can't be a trap -"

Dean's heavy fist slammed on the table and shut you up with a yelp.

He growled, "Enough."

You stared open mouthed for a second, too nervous to speak for a couple beats with the way Dean was staring at you. Those sharp green eyes looked deadly. He'd had enough of you arguing.

"Dean. Please. She's -" 

"I said enough." he rumbled quietly, but viciously. Dean rose up from his chair and braced his closed fists on the table to speak to you. You shrunk back even though he was yards away already, "Erika will be fine for however long it takes us to make a plan. Our main priority is you. Your safety. I'm sorry if you can't understand that, but it's the way it's gonna be. When Crowley wants something, he rarely ever doesn't get it, and right now he wants you. Do you get that sister?"

He paused with his head tilted and a quizzical sneer on his face, before finishing with, "We aren't risking anything. We're looking at it from all angles." you gulped, flicking your watery (e/c) eyes to the table.

"B-but -"

"FUCK!" he roared suddenly at your small voice, effectively making you pop the bones in Sam's hand and snap your eyes closed. The sound of Dean sending a chair flying had you jumping in your seat, tensing completely until you realized with nervous relief, by his heavy footfalls, that he was on his way out of the room.

You didn't even open your eyes when Sam placed a little kiss to your forehead and detached his hand from yours,

"She's going to be okay         , trust me we'll get to her." he rose to stand, and moved quietly out of the room to find his volatile brother no doubt. With a trembling hand you wiped your nose and tried to calm down, because despite Dean's somewhat terrifying character leaving you shaken, you had a plan.

A very bad plan.

8:45 p.m. That night.

Sam made dinner that night. Your favorite, steak and potatoes to apologize no doubt.

Currently, you were in the middle of the first step of your plan. . and it wasn't going well so far. Dean had since relaxed about Erika, but now he and Sam were being badgered about something else entirely.

“Dean you’re being ridiculous about this whole thing,” you shook your head trying valiantly not to let your voice sound whiny.

Something told you the Hunter wouldn’t respond well to whining. “It’s just a party! Everyone’s gonna be there and if I don’t go I won’t be able to talk about it with everyone on Monday! Please!”

Okay so you failed, there was definitely a grating whining note in your voice that was making both Sam and Dean give you irritated wide eyes. 

You clammed up suddenly and began picking at your dinner to avoid their hard gazes. You had been pleading with the brothers all day and like you suspected, weren’t getting anywhere with them. 

They didn't understand at first why you went from saving Erika to begging to go to some high school party within the span of two hours so you fed them some bullshit about a distraction and desperately needing one.

Also in your fake argument arsenal, was telling them that lot went into keeping new friends, especially at this age, especially since you were now technically being "homeschooled" and you felt like going to this party tonight would strengthen that bond, but no matter what you said Sam and Dean just wouldn’t hear of it.

Damn them.

“Sam,” you tried again with the softer Winchester, he was already a sucker for your puppy dog expression which was funny since he had a phenomenal one himself. Sam set down his fork and looked at you, waiting for some kind of new development in your argument.

“Please. I just want to be normal, with - with normal friends and people who like me. . . Can’t you understand that?” he softened his hard gaze a little. So I hit a button on him. . . Interesting. If you were going to sway anyone it would be Sam, the things Dean said no about usually only took a little convincing before Sam cracked.

“I’m sorry        , but you’re not going. It's too dangerous right now.” apparently now wasn’t one of those times.

“Why?” you burst, earning sharp eyes from Dean, “I won’t even drink, I promise - the only people that even bring beer are the Senior boys and -”

“Senior boys?” Dean interrupted. Oh shit I shouldn’t have said that. “Now you’re definitely not going.”

“But -”

“         , you’re only sixteen.” Sam interrupted, “There’s plenty of time for parties later, we just want you to be safe.” come on come on come one, this is detrimental to the plan! Think of something!

“It’s a high school party Sam.” you deadpanned, Dean gave a humorless chuckle that sent shivers down your spine,

“You don’t even want to know the kind of fucked up things we did to innocent little freshman girls like you when I was a senior.” you gulped at Dean’s ominous words, eyes widening when Sam nodded at memories of his own, “You’re not going, that’s final.”

“I promise I won’t do anything stupid. . .” you tried again, wondering idly what kinds of horrors they’d seen in their day. Dean still looked grim,

“You’re right, because you’re staying here.” Dean shovelled a fork full of red potatoes in his mouth like he wasn’t crushing your dreams. He didn’t even flinch when you slammed your fork down, or when you stood so abruptly that your chair toppled over.

Sam however, looked a little distressed about the show of frustration, but it was about more than being told you couldn't go to a party.

“This is ridiculous, I can’t believe you don’t trust me!” when no one answered, you let out a defeated screech and stormed off, kicking your chair on the way with plans on throwing a full blown tantrum.

Throwing yourself on your bed, you kicked the mattress with your heels. “What the fuck am I gonna do?” you asked the empty room while you panted on your bed.

You gasped when the idea hit. It was that bad. You swallowed, shivering at the idea Dean might catch you. . . The idea that Sam might find out. .

He would kill me. No doubt about it, I would be dead. But you had to help Erika right? You couldn't go one more sleepless night thinking about the horrors that she must be living. No you had to do this.

12:56 a.m. Saturday Morning.

There it was: the Impala.

You approached it slowly, sort of beginning to rethink your plan, because you knew that while sneaking out would make the men angry, what would really ensure your death was stealing their car. It’s not stealing, it’s just borrowing. I’m borrowing it. For a good cause. .

Even as you reassured yourself, you thought about how Dean was even wary about letting Sam drive, let alone a teenager without a license. Plus the car itself intimidated you. Like it was above taking a naive girl like you anywhere, and you supposed it was.

After all according to the stories, it had been with Sam and Dean since birth, with their father since his twenties, and had witnessed multiple savings of the world.

Hell, if it had a consciousness it would probably be wondering why little old you was even holding it’s keys.

You swallowed nervously, approaching the near-famous ride with such shy movements that the car would laugh in your face if it could.

“H -hey there.” wow that felt stupid, but you had to say something. . And you’d seen Dean talk to her like she was a normal person, so you figured you’d give it a go. “Just gonna go for a little drive, Baby. . and you’re not gonna tell your daddy, okay?” the keys shook in your trembling hand as you reached for the driver side door handle for the first time in your life.

It creaked so loudly that you winced and checked the entrance to the garage for a giant man coming to stop you, but there wasn’t one so you slid into the big captain’s seat and closed the door behind you, throwing you backpack full of supplies into the passenger seat with a thunk.

As it was, the wheel was too far away to comfortably steer so you reached down and grabbed the lever to move the bench seat forward in order to reach the fucking pedals.

Gripping the wheel of the still sleeping car, you blew out a horribly shaky breath, unable to stop picturing Dean sitting in this very seat while he ran you over in a blind rage.

You shuddered. This wasn't even the most frightening aspect of this little secret trip; you were about to go rescue your friend from a fucking demon for God's sake and all you could think about was how fucked you would be if the Winchesters ever found out.

This was a poorly thought out plan for sure.

Okay. . Everything is gonna be okay. . I’m gonna get home and they’re not gonna suspect a damn thing. However for some reason you felt watched. Like someone was in the car with you, and you wondered if it was just the emanation of the car’s character itself, watching you and wondering why Dean would ever be okay with letting this happen.

So you spoke,

“He’s not okay with it. If they find out I’m dead, so let’s just keep this between us Baby.” that relaxed you for some reason, and suddenly it was clear why Dean so often held conversation with this hunk of metal.

Out of habit you glanced back to the seat that you had maimed two months ago, and thanks to Cas, it was still healed almost perfectly.

There was however a little silver line where the cut was made. . like a scar or a reminder of how close you came to being murdered on a deserted highway once. It felt like it was screaming at you, “Hey remember how much Dean loves me?? Yeah bitch, get out before he catches you!”

Turning back to look out the windshield, you wondered if you should just scurry back to bed and get under the cozy covers, but you had your mind made up. So you did it. You pushed the key into the ignition and twisted before you could back out.

The engine came roaring to life so loudly it made you jump on the leather seat, and the rumble that was resonating through the cab tinged your blood with unexpected adrenaline so intense that it had you giggling.

“Jesus. .” you breathed, forgetting how loud she was when she started up. It was like the very first time again.

With another gush of air, you put her in gear and began to clumsily back out of the garage. Finally out into the night, you flicked on your headlights, and started down the bumpy gravel road to the highway.

“Okay, okay, okay. . .” you kept on repeating it, feeling like you needed to scream to let some of this built up energy out, but instead you tried talking to Baby more. "Fuck I'm so scared. ." you whispered honestly to yourself, still wondering if the car could hear you somehow.

Why am I doing this. .? That thought occurred to you out of nowhere. There wasn't really a need to do it - in fact Dean and Sam told you they were going to take care of it soon. Promised even.

Yet there you were, slowly crawling down the gravel road in Dean's pride and joy. Risking your life in more ways than one - you weren't a hunter. Without even accompanying the Winchesters on a real hunt yet, you had no idea what the hell you were doing. No plan, barely any weapons, only the overpowering urge to help. . to save.

All you wanted was to save Erika.

"I wanna save someone." you muttered, swallowing and blinking away the crazy at the realization that you were about to talk to a car. "My whole life I've been a helpless little girl, safe and protected by momma and daddy and now? Now I have to do this. I have to be the rescuer for once." you swallowed feeling the emotion swell in your chest. 

It was the truth. Never once had you been the strong one in your life. Sometimes you tried, but it always ended in failure. It was something that was easy to miss before, but now that you were always standing next to natural heroes like Sam and Dean, well, it was glaringly obvious. And it kind of made you hate yourself.

Wondering what your mother would think of you made it all hurt worse.

"I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna save her. I have to." you clenched the steering wheel determinedly, sitting up a little higher and trying your damndest to ignore that nagging little fear ball in your belly. The Impala rumbled in agreement.

Thinking of your loved ones was your motivation. Your momma, your daddy, Dean, Sam, and Cas. . You thought of how they must see you. A simpering little girl who can't take care of herself. The whole drive you found yourself becoming more and more angry, realizing that from the beginning even that night when you'd cut the backseat in the Impala, Sam and Dean must've thought of you as a burden.

They had to.

Because that's what you were, right?

By the time the old car purred up into Erika's neighborhood, you were so devastated that you couldn't even feel fear. Not really. The only thing that your horrible self talk accomplished besides making you hate yourself was the realization of why exactly you'd wanted the Winchesters to train you to hunt. 

There was no way you were going to be a helpless little girl anymore.

But you were. . you so were. 'In over your head' didn't even cut it for this dipshit plan.

So now scanning the dimly lit street, you crawled the Impala along at about 5 miles per hour, while the comforting purr of the engine gave you a false sense of safety. However before you could jack yourself up to raid your frenemy's house, something strange happened.

While you were casing Erika's dark windowed home, the beastly car slammed to a complete stop seemingly on it's own, the engine revved in confusion while your inexperienced foot stayed planted on the gas.

"The fuck?" you whispered, slamming the gear shift into park and then back into drive as if it would fix the problem. Of course Dean's ride still didn't budge. It was as if an invisible wall was planted in front of you. This seemed insane for only a moment, because with one spontaneous appearance of a certain well-dressed Angel, everything made complete sense.

However, this Angel seemed quite angry. His normally ocean blue eyes were now as dark as the depths of the sea as he simultaneously stared right through your windshield and your soul.

Castiel's expression only curbed you from getting out of the car for a moment, after all this was Castiel, not Dean. . he couldn't be that angry. . right? 

Wrong. 

Hurriedly, you fumbled with the door handle and practically spilled out of the driver's seat with the old door squealing into the dead night. The only thing on your brain was convincing Cas to be on your side. . and of course to not tell Sam and Dean.

Breathing heavily and gulping a couple times, you scrambled up to the stormy looking Angel, slipping a little on the loose rocks rolling beneath your Converse.

He watched sharply, unamused by your clear desperation, like he was waiting to hear some sort of groundbreaking explanation on why you were driving a hijacked ride straight to the dwelling of a violent demon.

For a moment you wondered if maybe you should tell him what you told Baby, but the look on his face said you only had a few seconds to explain before he smited you.

Fuck.

Clumsily bumping up into him in a frantic haste, you clutched onto his trenchcoat, looking everywhere but at his piercing blue eyes gouging into you.

"Cas, Cas - uh Castiel I mean. . Um," you babbled, swallowing and licking your lips with your dry tongue. "H-hi." Hi? That was the best you could come up with? Jesus you're dead. So fucking dead.

Taking a steadying breath you started, "Okay, okay this looks really bad, but I swear there's a reason for it." when you snuck a look up at his face it was like looking into a statue. 

"Which is?" he prompted, voice so low that you felt like wetting yourself,

"Um, I. . Shit. ." you whimpered, still holding onto his lapels,

"I'm waiting," frustrated tears welled in your eyes, and you knew as well as Cas did that they were premature, after all the main threat hadn't found you yet. . and you weren't thinking of the demon in the house as the main threat.

Gulping you played the only hand you had, "Cas, don't tell Dean. I'll drive home right now. . Please." his expression finally cracked a little with a pitying crinkle of his eyes.

"It's a little late for that          ," your face paled, "take a look at your phone." you took your time digging it out of your pocket, unwilling to see whatever was making him look at you that way.

You actually gasped aloud when the little screen lit up to reveal your worst nightmare. 18 missed calls from Dean, four from Sam, and nine unread texts.

“Oh my fucking God.” you breathed, feeling dizzy with mute panic.

“Listening to the voicemail may be unwise.” Cas stayed very serious when he got a load of the look on your face, “I'm sorry         .” he reached out for you, likely as an attempt to comfort, but you only shook your head silently and backed away, almost dropping your phone in a haze.

"S-sorry?" you choked, and the Angel only squinted regrettably, "For what, Cas?" and then you heard a sound. A very small sound that you may have missed if fear wasn't making your senses so sharp. It registered as the crunching of gravel on the pavement.

Dread dropped into your belly as you stared open mouthed at Cas.

Turning around was unnecessary, you knew who those steps belonged to even before the deep clearing of a rough throat. All of a sudden you felt like you had to pee again. You didn't even peek over your shoulder before grabbing Castiel's arm and vaulting yourself behind him, hoping for protection.

It was only when you were fully concealed behind the Angel, close enough to smell his unique sugary spice scent and feel the soft material of his trench coat brushing your face, that you finally peered around his arm to see the star of your current waking nightmare.

Dean.

Looking even more furious than you could've imagined.

So angry was his demeanor that you actually whimpered and jolted yourself back behind Castiel, resting your cheek between his shoulder blades and closing your eyes. All you could do was hope the Angel could hear your silent pleas for him not to throw you to the wolves. . or wolf rather.

I'm so fucking screwed. I'm gonna die out here in the street. This is it.

It was quiet for a long time. . you wondered if Dean was giving you a opportunity to come out and face the music on your own, but he was insane if he thought that would ever happen.

I stole the Impala. I stole the Impala. . Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!

That's all that was running through your head, while you squeezed Cas's arms from behind like you could hold him there forever, with a grip that might make a normal man wince.

"         ." that voice made you jump, but it wasn't Dean or Castiel. No, it was a softer, yet no less angry sounding male that usually had your back when you crossed his brother.

Upon peeking out from behind Cas again, Sam was spotted through swimming vision standing a few paces behind Dean, leaning up against the nose of his Charger that was carelessly parked in someones yard, half hidden behind some shrubs.

Easy to miss if you weren't looking for it.

As if your could feel any more out of your league, the Winchesters had beat you here despite the fact that you'd left at least half an hour before them.

Of course.

When you finally worked up the nerve to say anything your voice was so so small, "O-okay -"

Dean cut you off with a single step forward that had you hedging behind a stone still Cas - you were grateful that he hadn't moved or disappeared yet. He must've also been able to see the way Dean's frame was quivering slightly.

"No." Dean growled murderously, "If I hear one word outta your goddamned mouth right now, it better start with an S and end with a Y. Got me?" you whimpered, pushing even closer into Castiel's back. God, you'd never seen Dean so mad, and Sam looked like he was almost on the same level if you were being honest with yourself.

"Sorry!" you whined, noting how all three men clenched their fists at the pathetic lit to your voice. It made you uneasy.

Dean shook his head sharply a single time, "Nope, I guess I don't wanna hear that either." Sam pushed off of his car, and made his way to his brother's side.

Sam was drilling you with the epitome of disappointed eyes, with a hint of outrage that you'd seen on him before when you admitted to secretly having a fling with Blue.

The youngest Winchester could be just as terrifying as his big brother.

After another moment of enduring a stand off with your Hunters, you finally cracked and made a dumb move just like they knew you would - you broke away from Cas and tore off in a full sprint back to the Impala that you'd parked crudely on the road.  

Each man seemed to take a moment to sigh and roll their eyes before flashing into action and easily putting a stop to your feeble escape.

Dean of course, being faster than lightning, had you by the collar of your shirt before you could make it to the door handle and easily spun you to face him, pinning you into the side of the car.

"AH!" you screamed out more in fear than anything else, and immediately threw every ounce of intelligence to the wind when you began to slap at him. The experienced Hunter quickly snatched your flailing limbs by the wrists and plastered them to the cool metal beside your hip, allowing him to move in and insist his body into yours.

Effectively trapping you against the Impala in the blink of an eye.

It was child's play to him. You were no match at all.

"No -" you whimpered, staring at your small wrists wrapped in his giant hand. It was a conscious effort not to look at him. That didn't change the fact that you could sense his fury, feel his labored breathing on your temple, and hear his growl with every exhale.

Of course Dean had eyes too, he could no doubt see the way you were trembling, feel your jittery little breaths that you were afraid to take. . after years of hunting he could pick up on every little mannerism you gave off. 

Dean could probably guess that you were seconds away from bursting into tears. For once he didn't care too much.

Finally, you made the mistake of peeking up at him. His face was much closer to yours than you thought it would be, and seeing that much rage that close, all flared nostrils and dark eyes. . . well that did it. You started to cry.

And he just let you.

Dean watched your quivering lips puff out to little breaths just before your face crumbled, he watched you look to the ground for a millisecond before looking back at up him, and he watched you absently try to twist your wrists out of his unrelenting, yet somewhat loose hold.

But he didn't move. Not a single muscle, not even a blink, and that was only making your anxiety climb to new heights.

You hiccuped and looked down to your trapped wrists, twisting them a little frantically now, "I - I'm sorry Dean! I'm sor-"

He leaned in, lips touching the shell of your ear, "Don't you say another fucking word." you pressed your lips together, leaking eyes bugging. Okay I liked it better when he was silent.

"O-okay -" he pushed into you squeezing harder on your wrists, making you snivel, "Ow!" even though you both new there was no pain.

"Not. Another. Word. Do you understand?" you bit your lip, breath hitching in your chest through your nose. It felt like your damn knees were about to buckle. A single beat passed, and then you were being pulled off of the car so that Dean could open the backdoor.

Clearly he was about to shove you into the backseat. . so you dug your heels in. You didn't want to go anywhere with him - he just caught you driving his stolen care for God's sake!

His low growl as he nudged you toward the backseat was a warning you ignored, instead of letting him load you up, you grabbed onto the top of the car and screamed,

"Sam!" Dean was quick to mutter something like "can it", but you still tried to call out for Sam even as you were shoved sideways into the backseat, "I wanna ride with Sam! Please I just - Sam please take me home!" Dean used his booted foot to smoothly scoop up your flailing legs and dump you the rest of the way into the car.

When you got a load of the look on his face, and Sam behind him just watching, you finally shut up and scooted to the far door.

You gulped, "I'll be quiet." it was only a whisper,

"Good." Dean grunted just before slamming your door.

Okay so he wasn’t really going to murder you, but still. Still. You might as well be dead.

~~

The drive was sort of a blur, you were the living embodiment of the word fright, and you knew that Dean was bombing down the road well over the speed limit.

Sniveling coming from you seemed to be echoing around the cab, and whenever you hiccuped on a shaky breath Dean's hackles raised a bit.

"Shh." he hissed after a moment. You wondered why he didn't just drown you out with AC/DC. It seemed like the easy solution, but he didn't even have the radio on. Maybe it was because he cared, like turning on the music would hurt your feelings or something, so he chose not to. . that thought gave you a little hope.

It was clear that your sounds were bugging him though, and after being cut in half with sharp green eyes in the rearview mirror a few times, it was really easy to focus your tear blurred gaze on your knees.

There were a few interesting little scars around there that you didn't remember getting.

Could they have been from your childhood? Maybe one of those days when you played in the backyard with your daddy, the tire swing could be pretty tricky sometimes. Daddy always seemed to catch you if you lost your balance, but if he wasn't standing right there with you it was easy to fa--

"Quiet. Jesus." you jumped out of your comforting reverie. You looked up from your scars, all trembling lips and teary (e/c) eyes to meet Dean's painful gaze in the mirror. It was like that flipped his switch.

With a growled curse the Impala skidded to a halt on the gravel road, throwing you into the back of the front seat before you hit the floor. The sound of the driver side door slamming had you ignoring your minor pain and scrambling up from the floor to see what was going on.

And what was going on, was that Dean had his fingers on the handle of the backdoor and he was staring at you with near black eyes that seemed shadowed by the night moon. Gulping nervously you stayed rigid on your seat, clenching the cool leather as it stuck to your clammy palms, wondering if you would set him off with even the slightest of movements.

Honestly you didn't blame Dean for being borderline homicidal.

Not even there in the Impala, while you were close to hyperventilating and shitting your pants, could you blame him. After all you'd betrayed him. Both him and Sam. And you knew deep down that the Winchesters didn't deal with betrayal well at all.

Especially from someone that they cared for like they did you.

Especially from someone that they loved.

So Dean, standing on the other side of the metal, likely debating on ripping you out of the car and strangling you, was to be expected and wasn't anything compared to what he and Sam would do to anyone else. You were lucky you were so loveable. 

The door opened and you tensed hard, only to have it slammed again a millisecond after. 

"FUCK!" Dean roared the word for the Kansas night to hear, and slammed his fists on the hood of the car, vibrating your nerves. He shoved off and began to pace around the road, occasionally glancing up at you, sometimes coming at the door again only to turn off at the last second.

The man was shaking his head and and muttering things you couldn't hear until he moved back to the car and leaned over it with his arms braced on the roof. What he said was telling,

"No. . No. Not now. Too pissed. Not now. ." you shivered, hoping that he was succeeding in holding his control, "Okay. . alright. Fuuuck." he drug the word out, and you took to clenching your tank top in your fists as if it would keep you grounded, keep you calm.

The suddenty with which he pushed away and jerked his door back open made you jump, but you were smart enough to be relieved.

He was obviously in control again, and you vowed to keep silent for the rest of the trip so he could stay that way.

Once you got to the Bunker though. . what would happen then?

So many thoughts were rattling around in your brain: What are they gonna do? How pissed are they? Why the Hell didn’t I just stay home? There were tears but you were too jacked up to feel them just yet, suddenly wishing the drive to the Bunker was more than a measly 20 minutes.

Maybe I should just jump out and hitchhike to Canada. . . You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think on that one for more than a minute.

“Cas? Castiel?” you whispered wiping a tear from your chin and sucking the snot up through your nose, “Cas I -I fucked up, I need you. . . I should’ve listened before, this was a terrible idea.” you waited but there was no answer, Dean only continued glaring at the windshield while his blaring classic rock made you both deaf.

“Cas please, I really need someone to talk to right now,” you sobbed softly into you hands. He could hear you, he was just choosing not to come or respond like you knew he could. The next thing you said was quiet, more to yourself than Cas, “I’m really scared. . .” and you were. Who wouldn’t be? You stole Dean Winchester’s ride. Anybody else would be a dead man walking.

If you thought that seeing the Bunker would be a relief before, you were dead wrong. The sheltered building came into view a lifetime too soon, the garage was already open with the lights on and there was a horrid feeling of dread eating through your stomach. Slowly, Dean rolled his pride and joy into the vast room, while you squinted against the bright lights on the high ceiling.  

After a moment, your adjusting eyes found Sam and Castiel.

Castiel was leaning up one of the other older cars with his arms crossed, staring daggers through the windshield at you, while Sam was half turned toward you like your arrival had just interrupted an intense conversation.

Dean gave a nod just before he threw Baby into park, cut the engine, and shoved his door open, while your ears rang from the sudden loss of Dean's music. Both Sam and Cas returned the coded head bob. 

Dean waltzed up to Sam and Cas, taking a seat on some wooden crates beside Sam's car. All of them spoke in low enough tones that you couldn't make out what was being said, but by the way Sam kept raising his eye to you, it was pretty obvious what the topic of conversation was.

Instead of getting out of the Impala like you probably should have, silly you climbed up over the bench seat to slide behind the wheel again. 

Sam's eyes crinkled in minor confusion, but darkened when he saw you methodically push down the locks on every door in the black ride. The tallest Winchester huffed a little disbelievingly and tapped Dean on the arm, jutting his chin toward you. Dean and Cas turned to glance back only to double take at the sight of you in the driver's seat again. 

Dean did leave the keys in the ignition, and it would be a lie to say that stealing the car again didn't cross your mind, but for once you made the right decision and left them be.

"What is she doing?" Cas's voice was muffled and quiet. Your eyes darted between the three men before Dean answered, 

"Makin' another mistake." 

Sam sighed, arms still crossed, "She's probably just scared Dean. . Especially after what you pulled on the way here."

So Dean must have told him just a moment ago.

"Don't give a damn," he answered, "she's lucky I didn't beat her ass out there on that damn road." you paled and Cas's eyes crinkled like a thought struck him, before cutting his eyes to Dean,

"Why didn't you?" thanks for the support there buddy. Dean locked his jaw, pursing his lips for a moment before answering,

"Too mad." he repeated those words from the road, "I was too mad - still am - but I didn't want to do anything stupid, ya know? I swear I was seein' red." you shivered, recalling that look in his eye. You wanted to say something, but couldn't think of a damn thing that could defend you, and honestly you were still to afraid to try. Dean called to you, 

"Get out here kid, we gotta talk to ya." you swallowed and didn't dare move. Never had Dean, Sam, and Cas been angry with you all together, and you couldn't say that you felt very keen on getting out of the car right then.

You squeaked, "Cas?" pleading with the Angel just before he did the worst thing he could have done. Castiel nodded to the brothers and disappeared into thin air. Leaving you alone. Abandoning you. "No!" you cried.

After a moment of watching you, Dean pushed up from his seat on the crates and marched over to the driver side door with a oddly relaxed swallow, but when he jerked the door handle, his face darkened.

It was locked of course.

“Did she seriously lock it?” Sam’s voice was low, his arms crossed like an oversized stern mother.

“Yeah she fucking locked it,” Dean’s controlled growl made you flinch through the glass, and he jerked on the handle a few more times to let some rage out. Yeah, so you locked the fucking door okay? Big deal, it’s not like it was a secret before what a giant pussy you were.

Movement from Sam caught your attention, he laid his palm flat on the hood and looked into your eyes,

“          , unlock the door.” you only looked at him. You’d never seen this side of Sam before, and had gotten too used to having him as a buffer for Dean apparently because now there were more tears in your eyes.

Not even that made Sam’s hard exterior crack. You had no allies here. The biggest man did that thing where he tips his head to the side and back, narrowing his eyes menacingly,

“Now.” In the corner of your eye you could see Dean practically vibrating with anger, so you shook your head, swallowing thickly as a tear dripped out.

“N -not until he calms down.” your voice was pathetic, "Cas!" you begged the Angel to come back.

“I am calm!” you jumped at the sudden volume and then again when Dean’s hand came down hard on the roof of the car twice, a little sob burst from your chest as you leaned away from the door. He was standing straight now so his face was out of view for the moment, and for that you were thankful.

For once Sam didn’t chastise Dean for his outburst, instead he waited for you to look at him again and simply said,

“It’ll be worse if you make us break in.” you’d forgotten they knew how to do that. So a locked door wasn’t supreme protection after all. It was like a rug had been pulled from under you,

“I’m not coming out.” you called a little louder, attempting to sound stern. Sam’s expression hardened, “Not with how you’re acting.” that was quieter, but again Sam showed no sign of the compassion you were used to, instead his shoulders dropped in irritation. Dean’s voice was practically a growl,

“Get the kit.” and with those three words Sam was off to unknown parts of the garage, you felt Dean lean down so he could see you through the window but you were still too nervous to look at him.

Instead you stared at the cassette player like it held all of the answers to your predicament. Instead of trying to talk to you Dean snorted and shook his head, before standing straight again and turning to Sam who was approaching with the lock kit. You supposed he wouldn’t have anything nice to say anyway.

Dean snagged the kit and slammed it on the hood of the car to rummage through it a little before finding what he needed, and you watched him with apprehension, glancing at Sam occasionally and fidgeting with the hem of your short skirt.

“Alright,” Dean’s gruff voice held all of your attention as he stood beside the window holding what looked like a giant thin nail file, “you got one more chance to get out here kid. One more.”

“Dean -”

“Don’t.” he interrupted you harshly upon hearing the pleading note in your voice, but when his eye flickered up at you they looked almost distraught. He was hurt. “Just save it. Open this door or I’m opening it for you. Either way I’ll be able to get at ya in around 10 seconds, it’s up to you how pissed I’ll be.” you gaped, sliding your eyes over to Sam and back unable to find words.

Maybe you should've just gotten out. But the way you were being glared at and the subtle threat Dean just passed, made it hard to find the courage to actually do it, plus you were never good at making decisions under pressure.

“Just do it Dean, she’s not coming out.” never did you think that Sam would be the one to drive the final nail into your casket, but there you were. Dean nodded and shoved the file down in between the window a little too aggressively for your comfort, you had to calm them down somehow,

“Guys come on, I’m sorry I - I don’t know what I was thinking. .” Dean didn’t stop jimmying the lock, but actually smirked while Sam gave a dry snort, “Dean - I’m sorry!” your voice was raising in panic.

How did I land the most intimidating brothers on the planet as guardians? How the Hell did I get so lucky?

“You hear that Sam? She’s sorry.” Listening to self-preserving instincts, you timidly scootched across the bench seat to the other side of the car, watching the eldest Winchester with nervous eyes. He jerked the file and the lock popped up, but he still spoke to you through the window,

“Sorry don’t cut it sweetheart. You know why?” Dean tossed the file to the concrete floor and jerked the door open swiftly, “You jacked my FUCKING ride!” at his sudden shout, you cowered into the far door and whimpered on tears, "What the fuck would we have done if you got yourself killed? Did you think about that! Huh?" 

“D-Dean!” you cried pathetically, hugging your knees and turning to the side to make yourself smaller. “I’m -”

“Shut up.” he bit gruffly, before taking a knee on the driver’s seat and reaching for you as you hugged yourself and batted at him haphazardly with one hand. “Come ’ere!” he demanded, and you sobbed in fear, fumbling with the door handle with every intent to escape.

A huge rough hand wrapped around your wrist just as you pushed the door open and you somehow managed to jerk out of his grasp all while falling to the concrete like a terrified sack of potatoes.

“Son of a bitch!” he shouted with utter irritation in his darkened emerald eyes, they were locked on you so intensely that you barely even felt the jarring pain from knocking your elbow on the concrete.

“Dean - Dean please, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” you babbled as you scrambled away on your back, only becoming more and more panicked in seeing that he was coming out of the passenger door after you.

The large green eyed hunter took all of your attention, which was a mistake seeing as there was a certain brown eyed man lurking around as well. But you’d forgotten all about him. Stupid.

In a fit of reckless fear you hurled your cell phone at him like it would magically stop his intimidating pursuit, but it bounced off of him and he only gave a quiet huff as he advanced.

“I - I drove carefully -” like that mattered at all, “you wouldn’t have even known if I got back on time! I didn’t mean for you to know!” so stating the obvious was your play now.

God I am so screwed.

“Is that right?” he raised a tawny brow and stepped over both of your legs so he had a foot beside either hip. Effectively trapping you beneath him, sure you could kick up a leg and nail him in the nards, but you were already in bad enough trouble. No sense in getting physical just yet.

“Ya hear that Sam? She meant to get home before we woke up.” As he spoke he lowered down into a crouch over you, letting his arms rest on his knees, his big hands dangling just over your chest. Those big rough hands usually symbolized comfort, now they meant punishment and you’d never been on that side before.

You were shaking.

"D -"

“I guess that makes it all okay.” Sam’s nearby voice cut off your sentence, but you didn’t miss the slightly amused glint in Dean’s eye like he knew what you were about to say. “Although it doesn’t look like there’s even a scratch on your paint job so that’s something.”

“Mmmm,” Dean rumbled in agreement keeping his passive gaze on your tear streaked face, “That’s somethin’ alright. But you know this ain't just about my fuckin' car right?” his eyes crinkled, "You could've. . you could've. . Fuck." he dropped his head a little, "Do you even know what might've happened to you? Huh? Or is this all just a game to you?"

"It's not a game," you swallowed, "I needed to try to do it Dean!" then of course you repeated the one thing you could think of to calm them down, “I’m so sorry. . .” see, he looked calm on the outside, but you knew him well enough to be familiar with the fury rippling just below the surface.

“What do people do about this kind of thing Sam?” Dean watched your lip tremble, and your fingers knead together fretfully just under your chest, “I don’t think grounding really cuts it for me, I mean, she stole my car and tried to get herself killed.”

Oh no this wasn’t looking good. After all the two men weren’t exactly versed in parenting, for God’s sake from the stories you were told of their own father all they knew was abuse and neglect.

“Grounding is good. Yeah that’ll be fine.” you piped up tremulously, gulping when Dean just narrowed his eyes at you. However when Sam spoke up things really took a turn,

“What do you think about. . corporal punishment?” you sucked in a sharp breath,

“W -what?” it was a squeak, but you knew what that meant by definition. Dean grunted, blinking at you while he thought,

“Ya know I was thinking the same thing,” he mused, “So what? Spanking then?” you tore your wide nervous (e/c) eyes to over to Sam, finding no hint of hesitation there,

“Yeah that’s what I was thinking.” he confirmed, rolling around your cell phone in his long fingers,

“N -no! You - you guys can’t -”

“Are you telling me what I can’t do kid?” Dean challenged, “Cause last I checked a car thief doesn’t get to tell me what to do. Usually they just get the shit kicked out of them. Or shot.” you went white at his threatening tone, “Lucky I love you, and all you get is an ass beatin’.”

The big man shifted over top of you, and you flinched hard like he was going to start smacking away right there, but he was only standing up. Jesus he seemed like he was just towering over you - they both did.

“Sam. Dean.” you sounded like you were begging, “No one does that anymore - it - it’s immoral! Please don’t hit me!” you couldn’t stop a sharp sob from punching out at the end. Dean squinted for a moment like hearing you plead like that hurt him physically,

“Spankin’ ain’t the same as hittin’,” he rumbled gruffly, “Now get up and go to your room. Sam and I need to talk.” you didn’t move, you couldn’t believe this was happening.

Only once before had you been spanked, you were seven years old and it was by your mother. . . She felt so bad that she never did it again - for fucks sake you were 16 now! Grown men can’t just go around spanking teenage girls!

“          ,” Sam warned lowly, “Go.” tears spilled over, and ran down onto the stone floor. You still couldn’t bring yourself do as they asked, and Dean rolled his eyes at your show. It was clear it was actually hurting him though.

“What, you wanna do it right here?” he threw out his arms in an exasperated fashion and you shook your head,

“Don’t do this,” you whimpered, “please don’t. I - I’m sorry - I’m so sorry. . . I just couldn't leave Erika there. .” you were weeping softly, totally humiliated and terrified at the notion one of them was going to take you over his knee. Sam stepped forward then and you had the sense to sit up halfway and scoot back from him.

The tallest sighed heavily and gripped your arm to ease you up from the floor until you were standing on your own; barely.

“Go. We aren't going to do anything till we’ve calmed down.” he was actually speaking softly and somewhat kindly just then, it made it a little easier to breathe normally.

Only wanting to make them happy now, you scurried to the waiting double doors that let you into the hallway, glancing back one last time to see Sam and Dean watching you leave with stern gazes.

You gulped.

The trip to your room was a blur, you half expected to hear the pounding of work boots tearing down the hall after you and that was enough to make you whimper and break into a jog.

They would hurt you, but not violently. . . and you guessed that was better than what you thought would’ve happened when Dean found out you’d stolen his baby. The thought evoked a shudder.

However preferable getting spanked was to being violently beaten to death, you still balked at the idea - it was humiliating and almost. . inappropriate it seemed, but you would take it.

Not gracefully, and not bravely, but in the end, you would take it. For now you were left to dream up exactly how this might go down, and not for the first time your wild imagination felt like a curse.

This is gonna be horrifying.

3:18 a.m.

By the time Sam and Dean had made it to your room, you had worked yourself into an agitated fluster, kneading your hands and pacing around anxiously.

When the door opened you jumped with a little squeak that was met with concerned green and brown gazes.

They only stood in the doorway to watch you stand there and breathe shallowly for a moment; you weren’t sure what you had been expecting - a rage crazed beating where you were forced into the mattress and whipped until you blacked out - but whatever it was, it sure wasn’t this.

“You okay sweetheart?” Dean rumbled, finally taking a step inside only to have you scuttle backward a few steps toward the far wall, “Whoa whoa whoa, calm down kid it’s alright.” calm down? No way!

You swallowed shakily and clutched your trembling hands together over your chest,

“St -stay away from me,” you whispered, lip quaking when Dean’s eyes narrowed like he was trying to figure out a riddle. He composed himself and your eyes flitted to Sam,

“Let’s just get this over with          , we don’t want to do it either.” he sounded solemn,

“Then don’t!” you cried suddenly, very close to tears, “You don’t have to do this, I’ve learned my lesson alright? You’ve scared me straight - you don’t - don’t have to -”

“Enough.” Dean’s tone shut you up, “What you did tonight was reckless and stupid, you could have gotten hurt and in order to teach you a lesson. . .” he hesitated and looked at Sam who gave a nod and finished for him,

“This has to be done. You’ve got to learn that there are consequences deeper than just having your phone taken away.” he took in the helpless look in your eye and added, “Don’t make this harder than it already is.” you were at a loss of words.

Even before Dean moved across the room to have a seat on your bed, you knew deep down it would be him to dole out the beating. He after all was the brother that screamed discipline simply in the way he moved. He beckoned you with two fingers,

“Come here.” plastered to the wall, staring at him with wide frightened eyes, there was no way you were gonna move from your spot. He dropped his hand with a sigh, “You gonna make me come get you?” gruff tone indicating that he wouldn’t be pleased if he did.

You shook your head, pressing farther back into the wall. There was nowhere to go with Sam leaning in the doorway,

“Please. . . I just wanted to save my friend!” you begged pathetically. Your cheeks burned in humiliation with the knowledge that this honestly was child’s play to them. A spanking? Yeah try 40 years in Hell, or being Lucifer’s vessel. But to you this was horrifying, and it seemed like neither man really understood what the big fucking deal was.

“Ya know,” Dean started as he rose up from the bed, “You’re just making this harder on yourself. Sam and I agreed on 20 swats, but now I think you need more like 25. Whaddaya think about that kiddo?”

“Dean - Dean don’t do this to me. . .” you shrunk away from him as he neared, panicking even more as he just closed in on you trapped in the corner, “Please, please. . . please don’t hit me, I’m sorry - I said I was sorry! Please don’t, I’ll never do it again I swear!” then a little sob bubbled out, followed by a tear, then another, then another until you were crying in earnest, slightly curled there on the wall with the eldest Winchester standing about a six inches away from you.

He was still just radiating calm.

“I know you won’t sweetheart, but this way we know for sure. Now,” he shifted to the side so he wasn’t suffocating you with his presence so much, “are you gonna be good and come with me, or do I have to make you?” your chest was hitching and you couldn’t answer, he backed off a little only to say,

“One more chance to get over here on your own or it’s thirty. Understand?” you hiccuped and tried once more,

“Sam? Sam don’t let him do this, I’m so sorry I lied to you okay? Just just. . .” he let your sentence trail off with soft eyes,

“If it wasn’t him doing it, it’d be me.” he informed you, “But since Dad gave the car to Dean, it made more sense for him to be the one. Plus my hands are bigger, you should be thanking me.” he actually had the nerve to smile a little about that last part, and it made you feel oddly like you might be overreacting about this whole spanking thing, but another part of you didn’t care.

So I'm afraid to get my ass beat by some big anger fueled warrior. Why doesn't that make sense to them? Dean had already taken his place on the edge of the bed again, and was looking at you expectantly,

“Well? What’s it gonna be.” you didn’t know how, but you took a tiny tentative step away from the wall and saw the glint of praise in his eye at the movement, “Good girl, all the way over here.” all you wanted to do was yell, spit, and fight them on this, but decided it might be easier to convince them of how wrong this was later.

Coming to a stop beside the man, you managed to raise you tear filled eyes up to him, sniveling and trembling with fright. He patted his knee sharply, like a hint as to what was to come,

“Lay across, you know the drill.” you swallowed thickly staring at his thighs,

“Dean.” you whispered once more, “Please. I’m so sorry. I’m -”

“You know,” he cut you off with a glint in his eye that told you he was about to try and lighten the mood, “I’ve had chicks beggin’ to be where you’re about to lay right now, I don’t know what you’re bawlin’ about sweetheart.” he chuckled at his own joke, but you took a step back with horror painted on your face,

“Dude,” Sam griped from the door, “not a good time for jokes. Especially that one.”

“I’m just trying to - ah fuck it, come 'ere.” he lightly grabbed your wrist, apparently done waiting for you to grow a pair, and pulled you toward him.

“No!” you screamed, grunting and struggling as he pushed you over his lap. Even as you were wailing and fighting to push off of him, he was gentle when he easily pressed you down with one hand and kicked a heavy leg up and over both of yours.

Dean shifted smoothly until his one knee was pressed into the bend in your waist, and your thighs were clamped between his, leaving your skirt clad ass up in the air vulnerable and waiting.

You were gasping for breath, his knee making it difficult to draw in air as well as the sobs lodging in your throat; Dean easily held your upper body down with one hand while you clung to his leg in a weird upside down hug as you sobbed into his jeans.

You wanted comfort, but he was in a different gear now.

“Alright,” it came out on a harsh sigh and you felt his big hand lay gently over your ass, “you ready?” you only gave a broken whine and squeezed his leg harder. So far this wasn't quite as horrifying as you’d imagined, but the realization that this was really about to happen dawned on you pinned there over his knee.

Dean was going to hit you now.

You tried to buck and twist out of his hold all for nothing, because he had you and he wasn’t even breaking a sweat.

"Don't, don't, don't. ." you cried, knowing your defiance was probably only serving to make him mad, "P- please Dean!"

“Hurry up man, there’s no need to drag this out,” Sam sounded pained still standing in the doorway and you tried to take advantage of his pity once again,

“Sam! Sam -” you weren’t sure what to say so you landed on, “Help me!” feeling a little over dramatic, but again not caring. Dean’s hand hadn’t moved from your backside yet, and the anticipation was sending your hysteria to new heights.

“Oh calm down,” Dean griped, shifting a little on the bed, “this ain’t gonna kill ya for fuck's sake.” then his hand did lift and you went stiff, fisting his jeans in your fingers and squeezing your eyes closed, you weren’t even breathing.

Then it happened - and you screamed at the sharp sting.

“There’s one,” he delivered two more cracking hits to the same spot, and even though you still had 24 more to go, you were already a whimpering mess. “Three.” Dean continued to count aloud each time he hit you.

Thankfully he worked over your skin relatively evenly so there wasn’t too much lingering pain after each strike, but it wasn’t so much the pain that was making you cry so hard.

While it was a huge factor - it was the fact that Dean was actually hitting you, intentionally inflicting pain upon you, that was really the cause of your incessant tears.

It had always been the thing that made you weary about him on occasion, and all this time you’d been telling yourself he would never actually hurt little ol’ you. . . but you were wrong, because here you were on spank 15 and there was very real pain.

There was definite betrayal laced up in your tight knot of emotion, and that made you cry just as much as the pain and humiliation did.

“Twenty,” he grunted swatting you hard enough to make you jerk and gasp. These were no love taps by any means, he meant business, you were just grateful that he had the decency to leave your skirt in place. It took some of the sting out, too bad it was so thin.

Then finally, finally, he brought his hand down for number 25, that one harder than all of the rest like he really wanted to deliver a message on it.

“And twenty five. How was that sweetheart?” your tears had become a little quieter, but it was still obvious that you were a mess so he was only asking to be a jerk. Dean sat there for a moment and let you cry on his lap, before he released your legs from his and rose, lifting you awkwardly in his arms.

You were so small compared to him though, that it didn’t really matter the way he grabbed, he still picked you up with ease.

Dean dropped you the few inches to the mattress where you immediately rolled over and curled up into the fetal position, sniveling and quaking as you tried to comprehend what had just occurred,

“Why did I have to do that ? What did you do to deserve it?” my thoughts exactly. You didn’t answer, just continued to weep softly into your knees. “Hey. Answer me or it’s back over the knee, and I won’t go easy this time.”

He went easy? Is he serious? He sounded serious and in order to avoid another beating you answered with a tremulous tiny voice,

“I snuck out and stole your car,” you were monotone, and when it was still silent you tried to think of something else to say but could only think of, “I’m sorry.”

Sam added, “To try and kill a powerful demon no less. After Dean and I blatantly told you not to go out. Do you see the wrong here?” the youngest brother had moved closer to the side of the bed, and finally you felt a little twinge of anger at him accusing you of doing something wrong when his big brother had just held you down and made you feel like you sat on a wood stove.

“I understood before you let your brother beat me.” you wallowed, you sounded like a little girl again, speaking through strained tears all high and whiny like that, but you didn’t care.

Your words packed a punch, and that was the goal.

“You know that’s not what this was,” Dean sounded hurt, but he quickly made his voice hard again to cover it up, “but if that’s how you feel it ain’t my problem. Toughen up babe.” and with that sentiment you heard him stomp heavily out of the room, leaving you with Sam who also departed after he said a little coldly,

“This hunt should only last a few hours, call from the landline if you need anything. I’m keeping your cell.” then when he had to be at the door he said, “Stay out of trouble.”

The door closed lightly and you just stared at the white wall in shock.

Dean hit me. He hit me and it hurt. . . A lot. Dean hurt me. And Sam didn’t care. You cried silent tears, clutching the blankets and not bothering to wipe away snot as it came. You tried to tell yourself that it was because they had no experience with this kind of thing. . they picked you up and gave you a home like a stray after all.

Their father was abusive - or so it seemed - and it was unclear what you were to them.

A little sister so you thought, but brothers didn’t spank sisters. Fathers? No. Not at all, they didn’t give off that vibe whatsoever. So what you were was undefined really. A burden? Maybe. But they had told you they cared about you. . .

And suddenly a flash of what Dean said in the garage came back, you were too freaked out to really hear it at the time: “Lucky I love you, and all you get is an ass beatin’.”

Lucky I love you.

Dean had told you he loved you for the first time a few hours ago and you’d missed it. Did he mean it though? No. No stop that brain. . . Of course he meant it. Of course he did.

6:23 a.m. Three hours after the fact.

The hours that you were left alone, it went like that in a loop of sorts that left you crying non-stop. Sometime quiet and sometimes loud, but you never moved from the spot Dean dumped you in as the hours ticked by.

You barely even registered the creaking of your door, forget about using energy to turn over and look.

“           ?” Dean’s voice was low and concerned, “Sweetheart what are you still doin’ in here?” no answer from you. His boots thudded over to the side of your bed and you squeezed your eyes shut miserably, embarrassed to still be crying even after they got back from a three hour hunt. He couldn’t see that yet though.

“Hey. . . Sam's got your friend in the war room. . She's alright. We got a couple of friends pickin' her up in a few days.” Dean made the bed dip as he sat down, "You remember Sammy an' me talkin' about Jody and Donna right?" he put a hand on your hip and you flinched away on accident, letting out a tiny little whine and you heard him inhale sharply. “Shit.” you scrunched up, your heart breaking at the uncertainty you felt toward this wonderful man. But it was how you felt.

The bed dipped with his weight,

“Come on kid talk to me, have you even moved since we left?” silence. His hand was back and turning you over insistently, “Hey.” it was stern and you whimpered, only wanting him to be kind now. You just needed him to be kind.

With one quick motion you were latched onto his waist with your face buried in his hip, seeking the comfort that you had grown accustomed to from him. You were on the verge of begging for it. Dean grunted and moved his arm over your back to try and return the awkward hug as best as he could,

“What’s the deal?” he was worried, it was thick in his voice, and you sniveled saying the first thing that flew out of your mouth,

“Do you hate me now?” so childish and pathetic, but you had overthought and over analyzed this whole situation to the point of forgetting facts. Fact number one being the Winchesters would go over the moon for you.

“What?” he sounded surprised, and began to try and pry you from his waist, but you held tight. “Detach kid, I gotcha.” and you did, trying to prove you could do as you were told, that you weren’t a troublemaker. . . He helped you to your knees next to him but didn’t let go of your waist.

“Please don’t hate me, I - I love you Dean.” when he finally saw how swollen your face was from non-stop crying his completely shattered,

“Jesus Christ, what the Hell happened?” he was frantically wiping your face, and even pulled up the sheet to catch your snot like you were a five year old. The tears came as fast as he wiped them, and he eventually gave up, pulling you into a brutal hug that almost crushed your lungs.

Snuggling in, you greedily accepted it and buried your face in his neck ignoring the way his scruff scratched at your soft skin. And also the fact that he smelled faintly of blood and gunpowder from the hunt. . . they weren’t the most welcoming smells, but hey, Dean was a comfort. He was supposed to be safe.

“Hey hey hey,” he soothed deeply, rubbing your back with his big hand, the same one that beat you so mercilessly earlier. “It’s alright, it’s okay.” he seemed at a loss for what to do, and finally his chest rumbled with a loud and deep, “Sam! We got a code black in here!”

His hands went back to your waist to try and separate himself but you only held on tighter,

“No. . .” you whined until he sighed a little fretfully and went back to hugging you. Sam arrived silently,

“Oh God, what the Hell happened?”

“That’s what I said, she ain’t talkin’. . . I don’t think she’s moved since we left Sam.”

“I’m sorry I fucked up,” you were muffled slightly by Dean’s throat, “please don’t kick me out, I - I need you guys.” it was so quiet you could almost hear each individual light bulb going off when they finally realized what you were so upset about.

“No, no, no, no,” Dean muttered with a sort worried chuckled, “Shit kid we don’t hate you. Jesus we could never hate you.”

“But - but you hit me, and - and left me here. . . and I st-stole your car. I was gonna save her I know I could've done it. .” you hiccuped and finally eased off of Dean, plunking back on the bed to sit by him and look at your hands.

"Well someone had to go save your little friend right?" Dean shook you a little bit in a friendly manner,

"I was supposed to do it." it was quiet for a moment, until Sam said,

"Not quiet yet, you're not ready for that yet." Dean stiffened, and snapped his gaze to his brother when Sam finished with, "Soon though." Sam wants to train me? He gave Dean a little nod that said 'we'll talk later'.

"Do you even know why we were so mad sweetheart?" Dean spoke soft, "Huh?" he brushed a matted hair from your cheek,

"Cause I stole your baby. ." you said stubbornly, and both brothers chuckled,

"No. ." he lifted the word, "Cause maybe, just maybe, Sam and me were a little. . scared." 

You picked your head up and looked at him, in fact he looked a little scared now. "Scared?" you repeated like a four year old. Both Sam and Dean grunted in affirmation, yet Sam was watching Dean with a kind of sparkle in his eye as if this moment was reminding him of something.

You wondered if he'd heard something similar as a child. Or maybe seeing his tough brother opening up like this just made him all mushy. 

Dean cleared his throat, and the next thing he said broke your heart a little,"If somethin' would've happened to you, Sammy n' me woulda. . Jesus you must not even know what that would do to us."

"I'm sorry," you kind of just mouthed the words in a shock, turning your gaze back to your fiddling fingers in your lap.

“We didn’t think you'd be so upset about this         . . .” Sam muttered almost to himself, “We didn’t do it because we hate you, we care about you, even when we’re mad. Dean and I wouldn’t dream of kicking you out. Ever. You’re here to stay.”

“You got that right,” Dean agreed, “maybe I was a little hard on you huh? We aren’t exactly used to having a little girl around here, honestly we don’t have the slightest idea what we’re doing. Or. . what this is, but we - I mean we. . . lo -” he cleared his throat abruptly, “We love you sweetheart. A lot.” the whole world came to a halt.

Love? He said it? Dean said love? It can't be. Before you swore to yourself that when the time came, when they actually did say that word, you wouldn't freak out and make a big deal. Now it wasn't even hard not to jump up and down because despite what you thought it would be, the moment was tender and wholesome. So you sat in it, feeling warm. And loved.

"I love you guys too. So much."

“So. . . You’re not mad at me anymore?” you whispered glancing at him then Sam,

“Nope, all is forgiven. I forgave you even before those fifteen cracks.” Sam smiled grimly,

“Maybe we hold back on spanking when it comes to discipline then?” you nodded vigorously and Dean chuckled,

“Well let’s not rule it out,” you paled, “hey, it’s obviously effective.” you couldn’t argue there, it would likely be months before you crossed them again. Maybe never. Then Sam said exactly what you needed to hear, as if he could read your emotions in that uncanny ability he had.

“You’re family now , and for us, that means the world.” Family. That was a nice word to hear out of his mouth, it felt like someone just punched you in the heart. But in a good way.

“Family.” you repeated with a little smile, and you got a warm nod from both of them. For now you decided to stop worrying about what the future with the Winchesters might hold. Whatever happens, happens.

As long as they never disowned you, everything would be alright, and from the sound of it they cared for you way too much to let you go.

Dean pulled you in for a sweet kiss to the top of your head that lingered for a few seconds longer than usual, and you closed your eyes with the feeling. 

With the clear of his throat your former attacker signaled that he was too the limit with this soap opera scene,

“Who’s hungry?” he abruptly pushed off the bed and gave you a final pat, before heading to the kitchen. "I'll make your favorite!" he called back. It had become obvious through your time in the Bunker that Dean apologized in the form of favors and tailored gestures that let people know how much he cared. Your favorite dinner was most likely only the beginning. Sam was still looking at you with lingering concern,

“Are you okay?” he asked earnestly, and you took his hand in yours nodding and rising up yourself.

“Yeah I think so.” you muttered a little sheepishly, “I might need some ice for my ass though.” he chuckled as you walked out toward the kitchen with your little hand in his huge one. Exactly where it belonged. Suddenly Sam pulled you into a hard hug, kissed the top of your head right there in the hallway, and told you with a smile so secretive it had you giggling before he even spoke,

"For the record, I love you too." he actually turned a little red but his smile was like sunshine, "I don't think Dean should get all the points for saying it first." you giggled,

"Don't worry, I was actually kind of grouping you together on that one," you paused, "Never thought he'd let it come out first though. Figured it would be you." Sam shrugged with a sparkling wink,

"I'm full of surprises." he started to steer you down the corridor with you in his arm, "Oh and you probably better come out here and talk to Erika, I think me and Dean make her nervous. She looks pretty freaked about this whole thing, and I don't being here isn't helping at all." you blinked,

"Yeah, you two probably scare the shit out of her." Sam snorted but nodded agreeably, "You tend to have that effect on people."

"Especially people of the little girl variety." he gave you a rib bruising squeeze as he began to move with you in tow, "So you can help us out with this part anyway, your time to shine." you gulped, thinking only for a second about the question you were about to ask,

"Will you and Dean ever teach me anything about hunting. I um. . I kind of really need you to." it had to do with that odd moment earlier. Sam stopped walking again, and looked at you with an expression that made you pretty sure of what the answer was until actually he said it,

"Yes." 

Chapter Text

Nothing could have prepared you for what was waiting at the end of the hall.

Nothing.

As you and Sam walked hand in hand down the corridor, smiling from ear to ear, your sore backside was almost completely forgotten for a moment, and there didn’t seem to be a cloud in sight.

Sam and Dean are gonna teach me to hunt. . I’m gonna be a hunter! Huntress? Hunter. Whatever I’m gonna be badass!

Brain buzzing with excitement, you felt like skipping next to the big hunter, but managed to keep it to a bouncy waltz. Only a few yards from the war room now, you heard a distinct hissing sound that could only be Dean muffling a curse.

With a snort you straightened up a little, looking to Sam with a half smile,

“I swear we leave him alone for five seconds and. . .” but you trailed off, because Sam wasn’t smiling at all. The man was staring straight ahead, some kind of sixth sense of his was telling him that Dean wasn’t just messing up dinner.

Something was wrong. “Sam?” you murmured, squeezing his huge hand lightly. He glanced down at you and stopped walking when you both heard Dean cursing again loud and clear.

The expression on Sam’s face was focused and slightly anxious now, and he put up a long arm to keep you behind him and told you,

“Hang back a minute.” he didn’t even look to make sure you were obeying before he half jogged to the opening of the war room,

“Sam!” you hissed loudly, getting a hand thrown back in return, a clear ‘stay put’ gesture. It made you stamp around nervously. When Sam went rigid however, you followed suit and became a statue.

Oh God what is he seeing?

Dean’s voice finally shouted a word that wasn’t dirty, this one louder and more nerve wracking than all of the others,

“Erika!” your heart dropped. That familiar rough voice called out to your friend again, “Come on kid, don’t you do this! Not now.” Sam was still frozen, but you took a shaky step forward.

Maybe she’s only trying to fight with Dean. Maybe she’s just scared like they said, and she’s just trying to fight him or something. Yeah. Yeah that’s all. . Nothing too serious. .

You chanted those prayers to yourself as your pace quickened down the stone hallway. Once you got to Sam it was like he was in a trance, he didn’t even try to stop you as you passed, it was like he was glitching.

As soon as your eyes landed on the scene, you understood why. In the center of the war room, there was a puddle. A thick red puddle with a girl in it. And Dean. Dean was playing in the puddle too - an odd looking game - he was hunched over the girl on his hands and knees cradling her, petting tangled blonde flyaways out of her face.

“Erika, not now sweetheart. .” his rough voice broke at the end, and you blinked, breathed in, and finally registered what you were seeing. The red thick puddle was blood.

It was coming from Erika, from her arm that lay limp in the red as she quickly bled out from her slashed wrist. Your gut rolled, seeing how deep she’d cut from side to side, like she was determined to cut her whole hand off,

“Cas!” Dean bayed, showing his teeth when he threw his head back to look up. Then his eyes connected with yours. Green as always yes, but bright, broken, and. . wet. It took that long for you to realized that there were hot tears streaming out of your own eyes, but you didn’t know what you could do.

There was nothing, no kind of training in your life that could have prepared you for a moment like this. Finally Sam moved with sort of a robotic gait, making his way to the fallen blonde before you,

“Wh-where the hell’s Cas?” he murmured,

“I’ve been callin’ he ain’t comin’. .” Dean shook his head, letting his eyes fall back on Erika who seemed to be getting more pale by the second, “Fuck!” she jiggled with his yell, but her eyes remained closed.

As they would forever if Sam and Dean didn’t do something.

“Alright, alright,” Sam finally tore his eyes away from Erika, and sprung into motion, “I’ll get the kit!”

“Sam. .” Dean was lightly rocking his head side to side, it made your chest tighten.

Sam called to his brother as he ran back by you in a blast of wind down the corridor, “Wrap her up Dean! Pressure, ice, you know the drill!”

“Fuck,” Dean whispered again, but let Erika gently down to lay flat on her back. You watched him stiffly as he gripped the hem of her light blue dress in his hands and tore it up past her underwear, detaching a long strip of fabric from it.

He climbed up over her and slid the strip of cloth under her wrist, beginning to tie a knot over the cut. As he worked, he gave you a side glance,

“Sweetheart,” he called softly, sniffing once, “I need ya over here.” you stiffly moved to comply, catching his bright green eyes only briefly when he glanced up. He was trying his best not to look at you,

“Hold these tight over both wrists.” he coached, “Tight. Lean on her if you have to, keep that blood in as best as you can okay?” you stared, tongue dried in your mouth, “Hey,” his voice was clipped, and his hand came up to pat your cheek sharply,

“Ow -” you blinked, jerking away from him,

“Focus come on, she needs you.” Dean gripped your wrists and planted your hands onto Erika’s. Grimacing, you tried to ignore the wet warmth pulsing under the thin fabric, it was making your stomach roll.

“Where are you going?” your voice was dead, almost as dead as Erika appeared to you now. She was pale, pasty, glistening with a thin sheen of sweat that attested to the fact her body didn’t want to die.

If only her mind would agree.

Dean didn’t answer you, instead he left you with your friend in the middle of the war room to jog into the kitchen and out of sight.

“Erika,” you whispered quietly, squeezing on her wrists like it would comfort her, “hey. . It -it’s okay.” it was the only thing you could think to say. You swallowed, watching her eyes roll behind her lids. You shifted in her blood puddle, “It’s gonna be okay,” you thought maybe you smiled, though it probably looked insane.

Looking at her now, she didn’t seem at all like the bully from high school that landed you in the principal’s office.

She didn’t look popular or self assured. She didn’t seem better than anyone, or even like a girl who missed her mom. She looked. . dead. A whimper caught in your throat and you pushed harder on her arms, before asking her to do the one thing you needed from her now,

“Please don’t die.” Dean’s racket in the kitchen was muted to the buzzing in your brain. You spoke to her again, putting as much will into two words as you could muster, “Live. Please.”

Vibrations of Dean’s boots pounded back into the room and up to meet you, but you didn’t really hear him, and you only detached from Erika after he wrestled your hands away. He was yelling at you, but you couldn’t understand because there was blood everywhere.

On the floor, on your skin, in your hair, rushing in your ears. . blood, blood, blood. Your stomach rolled violently, your head pulsed, and your breath started coming in thick.

You could smell it too, the blood, metallic and sour it filled your flaring nostrils with each spasming jerk of your lungs. Only about 30 more seconds passed before you were vomiting all over the floor on your hands and knees.

A sob came out then, you were panicking now, especially when you looked up to find yourself alone in the echoing room. Dean had gone somewhere with Erika. Again you wretched, spilling the contents of your stomach yet again out in front of you,

“Dean?” you whimpered, finally finding in yourself to wobble to your feet. There was no answer, but you spied droplets of crimson trailing to the kitchen. “Dean?” you croaked again, following the spotted path up to the stainless steel doors.

Shakily you pushed them open, finding Dean playing with Erika in the giant sink now, like he did with you one day. There was even ice water filled up to the edge, and he was holding her in it so she couldn’t get out. Just a game.

Dean wasn’t paying attention to you at all, until you giggled.

“Let her out Dean, she’s gonna freeze to death.” it was Dean himself that froze, he whirled on you after a count of two looking infinitely more concerned for some reason, his brow was furrowed but his eyes were very wide.

“What?” he asked. With a snort you told him,

“We have to get ready for school, you’re gonna make us late.” he only stared, watching you like you were a zoo exhibit, “Do I really have to remind you who won the war?”

“The. . war?” you just smiled at him, “Uh, yeah sweetheart, y-you did. Why don’t you go start getting ready for school, and uh, I-I’ll be right there in a minute okay?”

You felt your eyes roll, “Whatever you say.” and you turned to leave Dean and Erika to their games, passing Sam as he flew by you with a duffle bag in his arms before you hit the double doors.

Your vision seemed blurry, fading at the edges, but you pushed on the doors to the war room even as you swayed on your feet. A smell hit your nose, thick and hideous, and your vision just caught what looked to be a lake of blood and vomit in the center of the room before your knees gave out to send you pitching down the few steps.

There was no pain when there should have been, you found yourself welcoming sleep when it asked to take you. Black was comforting, and you let it embrace you.

****

Sound came first.

There was deep slow breathing somewhere very near you, but other than that only silence. A few seconds passed before you could feel it tickling your cheek. Something heavy was pressing down over your stomach, it was uncomfortable but your body refused to move quite yet.

“Mmm,” you groaned softly, squeezing your eyes hard against a pounding headache beginning to surface. When you finally cracked them open all you could see was darkness, and for a moment you panicked before your nose woke up and caught a familiar scent.

A very Sam Winchester-y scent. Another very long warm breath hit the side of your face, followed by absent squeezing of long fingers on your hip. Sam was beside you, that meant you were safe no matter what.

“Sam. .?” you croaked, and winced immediately at the burn in your throat that came from vomiting earlier. It was worse when you swallowed, that plus the taste in your mouth had you craving ice water like you never had before.

Again you tried to speak, this time a little louder, “Sam?”

The Hunter stirred, “Hmm?” it was tired, he was still asleep. Finally you found the ability to wriggle. Gingerly you skimmed a hand over Sam’s arm pinning your waist to the bed, and gently began the process of trying to move it.

Stiff muscles screamed with effort, but Sam’s arm moved by itself before you could break a sweat and repositioned over your chest.

“         ?” his voice was scratchy and sleepy, and for the first time you wondered what time it was.

“I need. . I need water.” you rasped, squeezing his hard arm for comfort. A moment passed,

“Alright,” he sighed roughly, but as soon as he tensed to move you told him,

“Wait,” he did, he even shimmied closer to you so you were pressed tightly against his body. Sam was warm as always, his breath steady and comforting, and you needed it when you remembered why you were there. Erika, the blood, Dean yelling. . then nothing. You couldn’t remember anything else after you’d vomited.

“Sam? W-what happened?” your voice was rising, “Erika, is she -”

“Hey,” he squeezed you harder, “she’s alive.” you relaxed all at once, closing your eyes and trying to focus on Sam’s heartbeat instead of breaking down again. “She’s in pretty bad shape though. Dean’s with her.”

“What um,” you swallowed painfully again, “what time is it?” the big man shifted around for a moment before his cell phone lit up and blinded you both,

“About 5 a.m.” he grumbled. It had been a little over 9 hours since your last memory.

“I need to see her,” you started to get up, jerking at the pain spiking in your right elbow and hip. Sam detached and lifted off of the bed,

“Hang on. Easy.” you could hear his footsteps come around the bed, “You took a nasty fall alright? You’re gonna need to take it slow.” you were about to protest until your head felt like it was splitting open,

“Yeah okay,” you nodded, moving more carefully. Sam helped you stand, and finally reached to click on his bedside lamp. The light made you hiss and look to the floor, that was the first time you realized you were in your underwear. “Oh.”

Sam scratched the back of his neck with a sort of sheepish smile, “You uh, puked and there was a lot of blood on your clothes so. .”

“No yeah that makes sense,” you agreed, “do you have a sweatshirt or something?”

“Yeah - yeah of course,” he moved away to his dresser. It wasn’t that you felt weird about being in your panties in front of Sam, it had happened a million times before anyway, but after everything you were feeling extra vulnerable.

Your favorite slippers were still beside the bed from previous “Sam nights”, so you slipped those on too after the giant sweatshirt. A moment passed where you could just feel Sam watching you, the silence was tense, and you had to break it.

“So Erika?”

“Uh, yeah. . yeah let me show you.” he touched your arm to lead you out of the room, and you finally chanced a look up at him. That was a mistake. The man was studying you like you were about to explode.

Great.

Even though you were looking down at the stone floor, you could feel him looking at you like that all the way to the spare room. You supposed you really couldn’t blame him.

The first thing you saw upon stepping into the room was Dean slumped over in a wooden chair, he jumped with a snort when Sam loudly knocked on the open door.

Sam huffed, “Morning.”

Dean’s expression was full pout until he realized you were there, then it broke into nothing but worry. You had to look away from him too, and your fleeting eyes landed on Erika. She was half covered by a thin blanket, both wrists turned up to the ceiling and covered in thick white bandages.

There was an IV tube in her arm, snaking up the bag hanging beside her bed. The worst thing though was her face. It was slack and lifeless.

If it wasn’t for the subtle rise and fall of her chest, you would have believed she was dead.

“Hey princess. .” Dean’s voice was cautious, and his chair creaked loudly as he stood.

“Hi Dean.” you whispered, swallowing, “Is she. .”

“She’s not good.” he admitted, crossing the room to you and Sam. When he pulled you into a hug you closed your eyes, trying to keep it together. “We’re lucky we got her into the ice water when we did or she might already be gone. . you remember that?” you pulled away then.

“Uh, yeah.” it was a lie. You had no clue what the fuck he was talking about. When you looked up at Dean though he was staring at your face hard,

“Right. Well then you’ll remember how Sam came in and stitched her up when the blood flow slowed.” you nodded quickly, trying for a small smile,

“Yep.” both brothers sighed at the same time and you knew they’d caught you in a lie, “How much blood did she loose?” Dean allowed you to cop out for now,

“Quite a bit,” he sighed, and walked with you to Erika’s bedside, “Sam’s O negative, so she got some of his. Lucky girl.” Lucky girl indeed, to have Winchester blood fighting in her veins.

At least she looked peaceful, unlike when you and Castiel last saw her in the parking lot being beaten by her Demon father. A thought occurred then,

“What about Cas?” the atmosphere became increasingly uncomfortable and Dean’s displeasure suddenly radiated from him. Sam answered,

“He wouldn’t do it.”

“Wouldn’t heal her? Why?” you whirled on Sam who shrugged somberly,

“You’ll have to ask him.” there was more to this, but neither brother was talking. Sudden loud rock music made you and Sam both jump. Dean fished his cell phone from his jeans,

“Jody,” he answered, a little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth despite everything. You could hear this Jody’s muffled high voice on the other end, she sounded cheery. . kind.

“Yeah no it’s been a real bitch these last few hours. . Just hurry up and get here.” he chuckled, finally turning away from you and Sam. “No, no she’s not too good either - yea - well -” he was being interrupted, it sounded like she was almost yelling at him.

His face was reddening. . was Dean being scolded?

Who is this woman?

“Jody, Jody, whoa. We know okay?         's had a rough couple of days and now this - yeah I know it’s our fault we -” you watched Dean put a hand on his hip and look to the floor. Another moment passed where he was just listening to the assaultive rant on the other end, before he sighed and extended the phone back to Sam without even looking.

“Have fun man.” the way Sam swallowed before hesitantly taking the phone was unbelievable, whoever this woman was she was almost mothering the Winchesters. Sam cleared his throat and brought the phone to his ear,

“Hey J-”

“You two spanked this girl, let her see her friend mid suicide attempt, and now you’re surprised she had a mental break?” your eyes bugged. Since Sam was closer you were able to hear Jody loud and clear, she sounded pissed as hell,

“When I get there, you boys and I are gonna have a nice long talk about how not to treat a teenage girl, I think first on the agenda is no hitting from you two. Ever . Got it?”

“Yeah I - I mean we -”

“Good.” she interrupted him again, this time more calmly, “I’ll see you in a couple days. I love you boys.”

Finally Sam smiled a little, “Us too Jody.” and with that he flipped the phone closed. You were simply speechless. A mental break? Is that what they thought?

“I think I’m gonna like Jody.” you attempted humor, and both brothers actually snorted,

“Yeah I think you will.” Dean answered, turning back to the two of you, “Meanwhile I think you should get some more rest, there’s nothing much we can do here.” he passed his sad green eyes over Erika.

Your (e/c)’s followed, “No. . I think I’m gonna stay here. I wanna be here when she wakes up.” Dean and Sam shared a loaded look. It wasn’t reassuring. If she wakes up. .

“I’ll get you some coffee, kid.” you blinked. Last time you tried to drink coffee Dean slapped your hand and told you you were too young for it. Both Sam and Dean left the room murmuring quietly to each other on their way, you were too tired to try and eavesdrop at this point.

About all you had energy for was plopping down in the chair Dean had abandoned and staring at Erika.

Your friend was in a bad way, that was very clear, but you also weren’t sure how well of you were right now either. . you’d lost time. That much was clear, and it was enough to have your brow furrowing with worry.

The brothers were keeping something from you, that was obvious, but you weren’t sure you could have this conversation right now. It’s just all the stress lately. That’s all it is. .

It was true, you had been under duress quite a bit as of late, with still mourning your parents, to being attacked on the hunt you went on, to all that happened with Blue and now this.

Possibly losing another friend. You looked at her, still and weak. . she appeared almost sad right then. Like inside her mind she knew what was going on, that she had just tried to take her own life.

Once upon a time Dean had told you something that now prickled at your brain as you watched Erika’s silent battle. It was late one night, he couldn’t sleep but he must have thought you were.

He had been asking you if you would ever leave him, telling you not to, that he needed you and he couldn’t take any more people going away. It was a heartbreaking thing, to hear a man like that beg in such a way, but one thing he said applied now.

“In this life, with this job, nothing ever lasts. People always die. We don’t just get to be happy.”

Your eyes stung, “Why?” you whispered aloud, “Why did you do this?” perhaps it was because of all that she'd been through, having a Demon as a father. She'd probably been wanting to do this all along. The uncertainty of life after could've been scary. After all you remembered when you didn't want to deal with it. 

"When you wake up, we'll talk. As long as you need. . I promise." you squeezed her warm hand, it was just as small as yours.

The sound of a throat clearing had you straightening up and blinking. You turned to find Dean quietly moseying into the room, two coffee cups in hand,

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” he kicked another chair near yours with his sock covered foot.

You shrugged, “Everything. Her, my life lately, it’s all crazy.” Dean handed you your steaming cup, his lips were pursed and he wasn’t meeting your eyes, “Something happened didn’t it. To me, something strange?” he leaned back in his chair, a smirk stretching his lips while he continued not to look at you,

“Nah,” he tried for nonchalant, “nothin’ strange . . you’re just tired that’s all baby girl.”

“You’re lying.” you whispered, finally getting those greens to flicker over at you for a second. He cleared his throat,

“You passed out alright?” he shrugged, “Can’t remember a few things that happened beforehand but -” he fidgeted around and settled on sitting forward again, with his elbows on his knees, “but you were in shock, okay? There was a lot of blood - stress - it’s a normal reaction, plus we put you through a lot before that.”

You gulped, making it a point to not think about what happened before they brought Erika home,

“That’s it? I just passed out. . no warning signs before that?” he was quiet. That’s not good.

“I don’t want you to worry.” his voice was hard, he was becoming defensive now.

“Tell me -

“NO!” he stood up when he yelled, making you jump and slosh some of your drink into your lap. You stared at the warm dark liquid run between your bare thighs and drip onto the floor, “I just. . I just don’t want you to worry.” he spoke much softer now, and when you finally looked up at him he was tracing the rim of his mug, looking like a lost boy.

“Okay.” you whispered.

“You’re fine,” he continued to play with the cup, “nothing bad is gonna happen to you alright?”

“Alright.” he looked at you then, and you wished he didn’t. There was quiet panic churning in his eyes, coming from deep within him, it was clear he didn’t mean for it to show. “I’m fine.” you nodded, and he copied you before sitting back down.

“Sorry I yelled.” you tried a little laugh,

“Yeah, you tend to do that.” and it actually got a smile from him before he took a pull of coffee. You followed suit, sputtering on the hot drink as soon as it hit your tastebuds, “This is hot chocolate.”

“You’re too young for coffee.”

For an entire day, you sat by Erika talking to Dean then talking to Sam until they left you alone to get some sleep themselves. Sometimes you spoke to her, talked about what you were feeling and how you hoped she woke up soon.

You wondered how she would fit in a life like this, and if she’d be happy with these Jody and Donna people.

According to Sam and Dean there were more girls like you and Erika, she would have friends and a family. Part of you wondered why the brothers hadn’t sent you away to live with these people, but of course you were happy they didn’t. You loved them after all and it was clear they needed you as much as you needed them.

It turned to night again, and Erika still hadn’t woken up. You only left her for a shower, a few  bathroom breaks, and to get food. And of course when Sam forced you to go outside once for you own well-being.

The brothers told you that Jody was going to show up in a few days now, that you should fix yourself up before she got there so “she doesn’t have another reason to bitch" at them.

Currently though, you were resting your head beside Erika’s still hand on the edge of her bed, and you were just about to doze off again when your stomach grumbled.

“Ugh. Bodily requirements are such a burden.” you snorted quietly. The comment reminded you of Castiel for some reason, and then of course you were wishing he would come around so you could talk to him.

He was likely worried you were angry with him for abandoning you with Sam and Dean to be punished for going off on your own. Again your stomach demanded attention, and you rose from your chair to go in search of nourishment.

Once in the drafty hallway, your shoulders sagged at the idea of walking all the way to the kitchen for the 40th time that day, so you found yourself wandering into Dean’s room next door.

You’d bet your life that he’d have an emergency candy bar in his bedside table. The room was dark, as always, and smelled like a familiar mixture of musky man and spicy cologne.

It was the Dean scent, and it put a smile on your face as you tiptoed across the dingy floor. Jerking open the little table, you sneered distastefully at the mountain of condoms waiting inside like little soldiers.

“Gross.” but before you cast them aside, curiosity got the best of you, and you plucked one out. Something else caught your eye as well. A bottle of whiskey.

“Interesting. .” you grabbed that too, glancing at the door with a certain amount of worry that Dean was going to catch you. Or Sam for that matter.

Of course you also found the sought after candy bar and immediately began unwrapping it for your roaring belly. You devoured it while watching the condom like it was going to come to life and tell you a story.

Of course you had to open it. . there was no way you weren’t going to open one. You were a teenage girl after all, and very much a virgin at that. With a mouthful of chocolate, you flopped on your belly in the middle of his bed and took the silver square in your hands.

There was a “tear here” arrow and you obeyed it, noticing right away that there was some kind of slick goo coming from inside the package.

“What. .?” you murmured, gingerly removing the condom itself and discarding the package to the floor. The thing was slimy, it made your nose scrunch up in disgust,

“How even. .” you plucked at it, finally figuring out which way it was supposed to roll and using your fingers to push inside.

“Ew. .” you groaned, eyes widening at first in shock and then in terror as the rubber sleeve enveloped your entire hand up to the wrist. “What. The. Actual. Fuck.” you stared, flipping your hand about,

“What size is this?!” you squealed, feeling your face burn at the connections your brain was making with the size of this slimy monster sock to Dean’s southern area. “Oh God, oh no. . Get off -” you gripped the thing at the rim and tried to slide it off, only to have your hand slip and ride the ribs down to your wrist,

“Ah!” you squealed, stretching your fingers and flinging your hand around in a panic. Again you tried to peel it off, but it was near impossible, your hand kept slipping and it was squeezing your arm so tight your hand was growing numb.

“Fine. Fine this is happening.” sitting back up in the bed, you stared at your very protected hand in a full blown pout.

I did this to myself, this is nobody’s fault but mine.

You dropped your arm into your lap, wincing at the lube smearing across your legs, and focused once again on the other prize you pulled from the table. Dean’s personal bottle of whiskey.

“Come to mama,” you snagged it and tried twice to twist the cap off, until you just held the bottle steady between your thighs instead of in your condom hand. You brought the bottle to your nose and sniffed, “Yep, this has to be nail polish remover.”

Even though you knew this wasn’t going to taste good, you forced yourself to take a swing, just like you’d seen Dean do a thousand times. Only instead of taking it like a man, you sputtered and coughed at the horrible acid burn in your throat, nose, and eyes.

“Fuck!” you sniveled, pissed that you’d played yourself. The amber settled hot in your belly, and made you shiver like no hot chocolate had before.

Since no one had caught you yet, you decided to hunt for more treasures in Dean’s bedside table.

This was a much needed distraction as it turned out.

There was a pack of cigarettes, which you considered odd since you’d never seen him smoke, a few loose quarters, a bottle of flavored lube, a gun of course, and. . a photograph?

It was flipped face down. Okay this is either going to be something really cute or something. . porn. It's probably porn.

“Hmm. .” you hugged the whiskey between your thighs and shimmed closer to grab it. In the picture was a man and a woman, and they weren't banging each other. Thank gods. .

They were hugging each other and smiling wide in front of a two story house, with a baby cradled in the woman’s arms and a boy high on the man’s shoulders. The little boy’s smile was too familiar not to recognize - even as a baby you knew that was Dean.

So these must be their parents. . John, handsome as you could’ve imagined, and Mary, so pretty it made your smile grow.

“I see where they get their looks.” you set it down to take another swig of whiskey, hissing again at the burn.

“Excuse you young lady.” a deep voice had you jumping off of the bed, and babbling to explain before you even looked up,

“It’s not what it looks like - I was just -”

“No darling, no need to stop the party on my behalf.” you froze. That wasn’t Sam or Dean. It was clear now that this voice had an accent of some kind, “Are you going to turn around dear?” Swallowing, you set the bottle down gently and turned.

There in the doorway was a sharply dressed man with a two day stubble and a devilish smirk.

“Who - who are you?” you stuttered, feeling your body begin to shake. The man’s smile grew. There was something very not right about this man, he was putting off an aura that made your soul tremble. “I’m two seconds away from screaming, okay? Sam and Dean will hear me.”

He pursed his lips, “All the way from the pub? Even Winchester hearing isn’t that sharp.” They went to the bar? Fuuuck. “Don’t threaten me ducky, wouldn’t want to make me mad. . I’m in such a good mood after all.”

“O-okay,” you put your hands out, realizing you still had a condom stuck on one of them a second before you jerked it behind your back. The man’s dark eyebrows raised,

“I’ll just jump right over that.” he stepped forward, causing you to bump into the beside table when you took a quick step back,

“D-don’t come near me,” you whimpered, “who are you?” you were suddenly very aware that you were still only in your panties and Sam’s sweatshirt.

“Don’t tell me Moose and Squirrel haven’t told you about me?” he grinned, but when your face remained confused his became grim. “I don’t get enough recognition around here. I was only going to introduce myself to their damsel, but I suppose I should do something noteworthy now.” you gulped audibly, hedging around the table and into the corner to get some distance from him.

“You know,” he prompted, “to get some attention? I’m feeling neglected.”

The man moved very near you with no regard for the way you mewled and fidgeted with fear,

“Oh come now darling, I’d like to be a friend. No need to be frightened.”

“Please sir, just stay away from me.” he seemed like a sir, and if that little smile told you anything, he appreciated the courtesy.

“Cute.” he pondered, “I don’t think I will however. . stay away from you.” you whimpered, “It’s almost as if I can’t, you see you have this intriguing light about you. Could it be your pure soul perhaps?” you stopped breathing, the man chuckled.

“Wondering how I can see it, hm?” he reached out and touched your cheek, you flinched hard feeling your eyes start to water. You didn’t know who this man was, but you knew enough to be very afraid of him.

However when his eyes gradually began to glow a bright red was when you totally lost it, and began to cry fat dumpy tears while cowering away from him.

“I’m called Crowley.” he smiled, watching you fall apart with those terrifying eyes of his. “The King of Hell.” in your fearful panic you recalled something that Gemma had said while possessed by a demon. She had you by the throat and told you,

  “This soul is mine. . The King will make me his queen for a find like this.”

“The King,” you whimpered, “Oh God.”

Crowley smirked, “Far from it.” his eyes muted back to their normal chocolate brown and he backed off, shoving a hand in his coat pocket casually, “I couldn’t help but notice you were nosing through a few of Dean’s things,” he pointedly glanced at your condom covered hand again, that was now over heating in the rubber.

Crowley plucked the picture you had been studying off of the table and smiled fondly,

“Ahh John and Mary Winchester. Handsome couple were they not?” you swallowed, “You know, I can’t blame you for being curious about our friends past -”

“They aren’t your friends.” you blurted idiotically, “Sorry.” the response was immediate when you caught a flash of anger on the Englishman’s face. It was nightmarish.

“Quite alright,” he composed himself, “you haven’t learned how to speak to me just yet. We can fix that.” you didn’t miss the threat.

“No, no,” you shook your head, “I -I didn’t mean to upset you.” Crowley fanned the photograph in his fingers,

“Rule number one,” he purred, “you don’t tell me no. Understand?”

“Y-yes sir.” you whispered, knees shaking from being tense for so long,

“Good girl.” he nodded, “You know something? I think you can entertain me quite well if you really tried.” you watched him move toward you, and pressed your lips together as your tears flowed.

Demons were your biggest fear, but the King of Hell? Well he might trump even them. “I know you have a lot of questions regarding the Winchesters past do you not?”

“Y-yes.”

“Would you like them answered?” you catalogued his face for any tricks but he was unreadable,

“When they’re ready to tell me about it.” that was honest.

He snickered, “Well that’s no fun.” then he leaned in close, “Dry your tears darling, he won’t put up with a simpering little girl. Not at all.” before you had time to decipher Crowley’s words, he was crowding into you and gripping your chin.

“STOP!” you wailed, but pushing against him only made you realize that he had inhuman strength. The vile man pressed his lips hard against yours and you felt him smile while you screamed into his mouth.

You thought maybe he would try and shove his hand in your panties or something, but instead your vision blurred. A feeling much the same as when Castiel teleported with you took your body.

Your head pounded and your gut rolled, but as always it only lasted a second or two.

As soon as the world stopped spinning you found yourself facing a peeling dirty plaster wall. Something smelled like dirty people and rotting food, and your head was pounding from whatever Crowley had done.

Where am I?

It seemed a little like a gross motel, but you couldn’t be sure - you were just about to turn around when -

“Hands up! NOW!” the voice was so loud and authoritative that you felt like wetting yourself as you immediately obeyed,

“What’s -”

“Can it sister.” the man fed you a very familiar sounding line, but he sounded mean as hell. You pressed your lips together and shook on wobbling knees. The angry man spoke again, his register much more in control.

He was in charge, and that was clear from his deep voice alone. “Now, give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just paint the wall with ya right here?” that did it. Tears spilled from your eyes and you could do nothing to control the hiccuping jerks of your chest. You heard a gun cock, “That’s not a reason.”

“Please, I - I don’t know where I am. .” you blubbered, absently bringing a hand over to wipe your running nose,

“I said hands up dammit!” a hard boot connected with the back of your right knee and it sent you to the scratchy old floor in a screaming heap.

Fear was taking control of your body now, and it wouldn’t allow you to show him your hands, instead you brought your arms up to your chest and sat on your knees with your shoulders curled in, trembling with fright.

“I - I c-can’t.” you heaved, beginning to sob, “I-I’m s-sorry mister please - please don’t h-hurt me -”

The dingy carpet was scraping at your bare knees painfully, it had you shifting around in discomfort. “Jesus girl, just what the hell do we have here?”

“Dad.” came a new voice, “I don’t think she’s a monster. And I think she’s got a condom on her hand.” your face reddened despite everything.

“I see it.” the voice growled unamused, before he spoke to you again, “What are ya then? A robber? You picked the wrong room to burgle girl.” you sat breathing heavily, waiting for the hammer to come down. You felt like you might be two seconds away from vomiting when the angry man said,

“Dean, grab that rope outta my bag will ya? And call your damn brother.” Dean? That was it, you whirled around.

A gun barrel was aimed right at your face from a couple feet away, but it was who was holding it that terrified you more than anything.

It was the man from the picture.

“Did I say you could turn around?” yes, it was the man from the picture, only his face was warped with pure rage, and he looked older somehow.

To his right was a tall young man that looked heart wrenchingly familiar. Rope hung from his hands and he was watching you with nervous uncertainty, his green eyes held more light than the ones you knew so well. . he looked like a baby.

But it was him, maybe 10 years younger than when you saw him just a few hours ago.

“Oh my gods. .” you whispered, still shaking with fear that was only growing.

Because there you were, on your knees, in front of Dean and John Winchester.