Archive of Our Own ^beta

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2:42 PM

Saturday, December ▇, 20XX

I don't know who is going to read this, but I just hope it's someone who can help me.

...

This week has been fucked up.

I wrote the date up at the top so I'd remember, but it's currently December ▇ and this is my first journal entry.

A week ago, I woke up in this cell.

It's small... with concrete floors, white, brick walls, and metal bars blocking me from leaving. It's pretty plain other than the small bed in the corner and the toilet. I found this notebook on top of the bed and have been doodling in it since.

I have a few pages covered in drawings of my house, family, and friends. I'm miles away from my family with no knowledge of how I got here. Or why I'm a skeleton...

Maybe I'm dead already? And this is heaven?

...

More likely hell.

...

It's...

lonely.

...

I just wanna go home.

I don't know what else to write about other than what happened today.

For context, every so often I'll be taken out of my cell by a man. His name is Gaster.

He's tall and very fucking scary. He has these... scars(?) around his eyes and this creepy, permanent smile on his face.

This is what he looks like.

I'm... not the best at drawing scary things.

He's much more terrifying

Whatever you do, don't trust him.

He's not a good man.

He takes me out of my cell to test my endurance, my magic,

...

my fertility.

I feel disgusting, I can still feel his hands on me.

God, make it stop.

I want to get out of here I want to leave god please someone just find me already.

Who am I kidding? I'm writing in a fucking journal he probably checks while I'm asleep.

There's no fucking escape.

I have made imaginary friends for myself, though. They—

...

I just heard footsteps.

...

I'm scared.

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11:21 AM

Tuesday, December ▇, 20XX

I'm shaking as I write this, really. If I still had a heart, it'd be beating out of my chest right now.

Right after I ended my last entry, Gaster came back.

I hid my journal as fast as I could and stood stiffly in the middle of the room, ready to put up some kind of fight.

He came in smiling that creepy fucking smile of his and I felt his magic wash over me, freezing me in my place. "Come along," he said, and I knew better than to try his patience. I learned the hard way that he held no mercy when it came to stubbornness.

He unlocked my cell door and held it open, staring at me as I passed through, hands clenched by my sides.

I followed him to one of his lab rooms, past that large skull-shaped machine as the scientists worked on it. They stared at me with equal manic expressions as Gaster lead me to my demise.

As I entered, he froze me with his powers and before I could do anything, I felt a heavy weight on my neck and my whole body convulsed as electricity shot through my bones.

He'd put a shock collar on me. As if I was some kind of rabid animal. I fell to the ground in pain.

I think it was the loudest I'd ever screamed.

I still have scars from where I scratched at the part of the spine that connects to my skull, trying to get the shock to stop.

"One of my patients refuses to let me evaluate her." He said as he turned the collar off. "She's one of a kind, very unique, but her... family is against letting me check in with her."

He scowled at the word family as if they'd killed his, but the expression disappeared as quickly as it appeared on his face.

"You will go out, find her, and report back to me how she's doing. Try anything and I will shock you so hard you'll dust."

He picked me up by my throat and slammed me against the wall, "You have one job. Complete it, and you will be shown mercy. Fail, and you won't live to see another day. Do you understand?"

I didn't want to reply. I didn't want to give him any kind of semblance that I was interested in what he had to say, but I opened my mouth anyways.

"Yes sir..." I croaked, and I fell to the ground in a heap of shaking bones as he let me go. "Get up," he instructed, and I had no choice but to obey. I stood up on weak knees and braced myself against the wall.

"You will be given a bag which will include clothes, enough cash in both monster and human currency to spend, a map, a burner phone, and my patient's file. You will leave in 72:00 hours. Be ready."

He turned his back to me and grabbed some papers from his desk. I didn't get to see what they were though because right after, I was grabbed roughly by two scientists by my arms. I tried to wrench my arms out of their grasp, but the electrical shock drained most of my energy.

The two of them laughed at my misery and dragged me back to my cell. They tossed me in and locked the door before walking away, leaving me sobbing on the floor in pain.

...

That was 3 days ago. It's now Tuesday, December ▇, and 3 hours and 30 minutes until I am to leave. 

Just as he said, I was given a backpack with clothes that fit me well enough, his "patient's" file who I now know is named Rebecca, cash, an old flip-phone, and, of course, a map to guide me.

Using the map, I've made some notes of my own, marked down places to stay, and all that stuff.

I don't know much about what I'm doing, all I know is that I just hope I survive.

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8:24 PM

Wednesday, December ▇, 20XX

I'm not entirely sure how to start this entry.

Well, for one, I'm writing this while laying in a really comfy hotel bed. It's so goddamn soft and clean smelling. I love it so much.

The hotel is called Kinship Landing and apparently people humans will do absolutely anything for gold. At least I don't have to worry about being refused service if I run out of US cash.

The lab I was being held in was underground, in Mt. Ebott, Colorado. I actually almost got caught when I first left, security is no joke when it comes to national parks.

I feel like a baby bird being shoved out of its nest to learn how to fly, except the mama bird is an abusive, sick skeleton named Gaster, and the "nest" is his lab where he tests on humans.

Fucking twisted.

I expected more commotion when I would walk into stores and such, but apparently, skeletons are more common than I thought because nobody batted an eye at me other than come curious humans. Nor did they mention anything about the collar.

If anything, some of the monsters even smiled when they saw it. I have no idea if they truly know what it is and are as fucked in the head as Gaster or if they think it's some kind of marriage proposal...

Probably the latter.

That makes it worse because I'm only 14 and I most definitely don't want to be tied to anyone.

Every so often he'll text me asking for my location.

Although he doesn't really ask. He demands by texting me 'Location.' I have no idea where I am most of the time so I just turn on my location and send him whatever it says on Google Maps.

It's placated him so far so I'm just gonna keep doing that.

...

I passed by a baby store a few hours ago. Y'know, those stores with cribs, strollers, binkies, and stuff to get you ready for parenthood.

For a while, I kind of just... stood there. Staring at it.

I remembered something. While staring at the store's logo.

It's fuzzy, but it's there.

It was of me, human me, sitting excitedly in front of the Christmas tree. My parents were there, my brother was there, my aunts were there, and my grandma was too, but their faces were blurred out. I couldn't tell what their expressions were.

I saw a strangely shaped package with the words 'FROM: DADDY, TO: DADDY'S GIRL' on it, and I immediately knew it was something special from my Dad.

I waited till after all the presents had been opened to open that one, and I remember I was so glad I did because inside was a perfect replica of my baby blanket.

I didn't know because I saw it, I knew because I felt my own emotions and thoughts at that very moment. But for every second I tried to remember what the blanket looked like, my head would ache and ache.

I snapped out of my flashback and went into the store and grabbed everything that reminded me of that memory, just in case I forgot it again.

And now I have 3 new blankets and a stuffed penguin to keep me company.

...

Room service just came and asked me if I wanted dinner, I said I wanted the alfredo chicken. I can't remember what made me choose it, but I hope it was for a good reason.

My wrist is starting to hurt so I think I'm gonna stop here...

Till next time, Trauma Journal.

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5:52 PM

Tuesday, December ▇, 20XX

I fucked up.

I majorly fucked up.

He messaged me and I didn't reply, I forgot, I postponed.

I got shocked.

The day before, I got my Alfredo Chicken and I've never been more emotional over a meal. I literally sobbed the entire time I ate it. It was so delicious and brought up fuzzy memories that are just barely out of my grasp.

Damn amnesia.

I checked out of the hotel Thursday morning around 10AM and have been running off of Arizona Tea for a long while. Yeah, unhealthy, I know, but I'm also a skeleton that doesn't really get tired unless I use magic and I don't exactly have any so I've simply just been sleeping for the fun of it I guess.

It's weird being a Monster.

It was the day after I checked out of the hotel and I was minding my business when it happened.

In the middle of the crosswalk, I collapsed in immense pain, rivets of electricity attacked my soul and I could do nothing but seize pathetically.

I wanted to scream, show my anguish, but I was frozen in shock. Literally.

I gained a crowd quickly. Unfortunately the bystander effect was in place and the more people that gathered, the less I knew would step up to help me. I could practically hear their thoughts as they huddled around my form.

"Are they ok?"

"Is that a Skeleton Monster?"

"Why are they just laying there?"

"What is going on?"

"Can Skeletons have seizures?"

"Should I call 911?"

"Why are they so battered up?"

So there I laid, curled on my side, shaking violently as I was attacked by energy nobody could see, whimpering like a pathetic creature. My head thudded painfully against the concrete as my body convulsed, unable to control my limbs.

My eyes rolled to the back of my skull and I began getting tunnel vision. "Pathetic," I thought to myself, believing that because of my silly slip up that this would be the end, "that I die with plenty of people to help me."

But then it stopped, and I went limp. I inhaled sharply, gasping loudly for air. People began to step back, weary of my next action. Fearing I'd be caught again, I did the only thing I knew to do. Run.

So, I got up on shaky arms and legs, grabbed my bag, and ran as fast I could. Pushed through the layers of civilians and dashed, holding onto my hood for dear life, wanting nothing more than to die.

I phone pinged again as I rounded a corner and back myself up into an alleyway and I rushed to pull it out of my bag.

"Consider yourself lucky, 014. I had mercy on you and didn't wait for you to respond, but know the next time I have to shock you like that, I will keep it on until you answer my texts."

I remember being so angry at him and thinking "How the fuck am I supposed to reply to you if I'm being tazed?", but replied with my current location and nothing else. I pocketed my phone, exited the alleyway, and continued on.

I've been trying to consistently update in my journal, but as you can tell, it's not very constant...

On the good hand, I've finally left Colorado and am now in Kansas. I bought a cosmic brownie to treat myself and have made sure to constantly check my phone.

That's all for now... see you tomorrow I guess...

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To any subscribers of my archive of our own account or to any of my fanfictions, I sincerely apologize for such a long hiatus. I know this is not the author's note that you wanted to see or that you were expecting another chapter update after so long, but I am here to happily announce that I have been signed up for a virtual school full time for my senior year, and that will hopefully give me more time to get back into these fandoms and my stories and continue writing them. I started all these fanfictions in middle school when I felt I had nothing else to do or no where else to be, and so I put my whole body into these stories to escape me from reality, but now that my reality is much better, and I'm much happier, I haven't been as focused on them as I used to be. Although I love the fandons, communities, and their stories and want to create more, I have been so busy trying to get my life back together that I haven't written at all. A lot of these stories have errors or inconsistencies with writing that definitely portrays the writing of early teenager angsty-ness, so I'm hoping to rewrite my stories or do a lot of heavy editing. I cannot promise when the most recent update will be but, I know I love it so much that I will get back on it as soon as possible. 

Thank you, 

syst3m_0f_3rr0rs