Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tuesday, 10:07 AM

TommyInnit has started a groupchat

TommyInnit has added 19 people

TommyInnit has renamed the groupchat to ‘COOL KIDS’

TommyInnit: HELLO BITCHES

TommyInnit: WHO HERE IS AUDITIONING FOR THE MUSICAL

TommyInnit: FUN FACT THE ANSEWR IS ALL OF YOU

Technoblade: no.

TommyInnit: WHY

Technoblade: because i have to be in the orchestra.

Technoblade: now stop talking in all caps, it’s hurting my eyes.

TommyInnit: ughhhh fine

Sapnap: i also have to be in the orchestra

Awesamdude: as do i

TommyInnit: why tf are so many of you orchestra kids

Technoblade: because orchestra is clearly superior to cast or crew.

TommyInnit: FCK YOU IT IS NOT

Technoblade: shut up, child.

Awesamdude has changed their name to ‘Sam’

Sam: i think dream will probably audition tho

TommyInnit has changed their name to ‘Big Man Tommy’

Big Man Tommy: he always does

Big Man Tommy: which is why he is SO COOL, unlike you losers

Dream: thanks lol

Dream: although idk if ill join cast this year

Dream: i might audition for the orchestra instead

Big Man Tommy: WHY???

Dream: its beauty and the beast this year toms

Dream: we need an oboist, and i think im the only one

Technoblade: illumina plays oboe.

Dream: yeah but he usually doesnt join

Illumina: actually i think i will this year, so youre good to audition drizzle

Illumina: you belong on stage, not in the pit where no one can see you <3

Dream: tru <3

Dream: do you think i should go for belle

Sam: if you want

Big Man Tommy: you should be gaston

Dream: LMAO

Dream: id rather be belle

Big Man Tommy: well im going to audition for lumiere

Seapeekay: you guys realize it’s the middle of fourth period, right?

Dream: im sorry, but who asked?

Seapeekay: wow

Seapeekay: i simply did not be asked to be bullied like this </3

Dream: L

Seapeekay: </3

Seapeekay: anyways when are auditions?

Big Man Tommy: in two weeks

Big Man Tommy: its beauty and the beast

Seapeekay: yo?? i love that movie

Seapeekay: i can barely sing but

Technoblade: join us in the pit orchestra.

Seapeekay: can’t play anything either

Seapeekay: maybe i'll sign up to be backstage

Big Man Tommy: lame

Seapeekay: i know, but oh well

Big Man Tommy: @Everyone SIGN UP FOR AUDITIONS OR ELSE

Ranboo: yes

Ranboo: join the dark side

Ranboo: im gonna go for lefou

Seapeekay: lmao??

Tubbo: OH is this a musical groupchat??

Tubbo: honestly idk who i want to be

Tubbo: i just wanna be in it

Ranboo: same

Ranboo: if i get lefou thatd be epic, but i just wanna participate

Dream: im gonna go for belle

Dream: idk if theyd let me, seeing as im a guy, but im doing it anyways

Seapeekay: yes king slay

Seapeekay: who else is here?

Big Man Tommy: pretty much everyone in our group

Big Man Tommy: i realized we needed a groupchat, plust mr scott smajor told me to recruit people to audition for the musical 

Big Man Tommy: so all of you better fcking audition

Technoblade: or you could audition for pit orchestra. we need people as well.

Big Man Tommy: ew imagine being in pit orchestra

Tubbo: yeah thats kinda cringe

Technoblade: shut up, you two are puny children.

Big Man Tommy: OI

Big Man Tommy: IM A BIG MAN

Philza: jesus christ what is going on in here

Big Man Tommy: PHILLLLL

Philza: hi tommy

Dream: hi phil

Dream: you should audition for beauty and the beast

Philza: … you do realize that i cant sing

Philza: maybe ill join the backstage crew

Big Man Tommy: lame

Seapeekay: dont worry phil he said that to me too

Philza has changed their name to Phil

Phil: so is this the new gc

Phil: tommy, did you make this for the sole purpose of asking ppl to audition?

Big Man Tommy: partially

Big Man Tommy: but we do need a gc

Phil: true

Phil: so whos auditioning then

Technoblade: i’m guaranteed a spot in the pit orchestra. sapnap and sam will be auditioning, but there’s a very good chance they’ll get in since not many people actually audition.

Technoblade: illumina, you’d better audition, because we need that oboe.

Illumina: i will i will

Georgenotfound has changed their name to George

George: i can be the drumset person if you need one @/technoblade

Technoblade: yes, we do.

Big Man Tommy: ughhh

Big Man Tommy: so is it just me, tubs, ranboo, and big d auditioning for the actual roles (like the COOL KIDS do)

CaptainPuffy: nope! im auditioning! i want mrs potts

Big Man Tommy: fck yeah

Punz: im also going to audition

Punz: idk for what yet but i will

Dream: :0

Dream: punzie?? did i finally convince you??

Punz: yes, you did <3

Sapnap: gay people, ew

Dream: you LITERALLY kissed me once

Sapnap: … in my defense

Nihachu: hi guys!! sorry for the late response, but im going to be part of costume crew!!

Nihachu: also

Nihachu has changed their name to Niki 

Niki: actually i think im going to be leading costume crew

CaptainPuffy has changed their name to Puffy

Puffy: yeah niki <333

Niki: <3

Niki: i hope you guys get all the roles filled though!! im sure plenty of people will audition

Technoblade: in fact, i think you should be more worried that the orchestra won’t have enough people, tommy.

Big Man Tommy: well i dont care about the orchestra

Big Man Tommy: wait no but they give the music

Big Man Tommy: nvm yes i do

Technoblade: that’s what i thought.

Big Man Tommy: guess ill just have to recruit elsewhere

Ranboo: odds that he goes around asking every single person in the hallway to audition?

Tubbo: of course he will

Tubbo: hes tommy

Ranboo: fair enough

---

COOL KIDS

11:23 AM

Puffy: guys, niki and i met two people who want to participate

Puffy: permission to add? i think a bunch of us know them as well

Technoblade: go on.

Puffy has added 2 people to the groupchat

TinaKitten: hello!!

Hannahxxrose: hi!

Hannahxxrose has changed their name to Hannah

TinaKitten has changed their name to Tina

Hannah: i heard this is where all the cool theater kids unite

Technoblade: *theater and orchestra

Tina: oh!! speaking of orchestra, can i audition? i play flute ^-^

Technoblade: sure. i’ll send you the link to the music later.

Tina: oh, okay! are you the orchestra leader?

Technoblade: principal chair, yes.

Dream: wait, TINA???

Tina: DREAM!!!

Dream: TINA!!!

Dream: HI

Dream: oh and hannah! i feel like ive met you somewhere before

Hannah: choir? 

Dream: oh yeah!! but youre in the other class right

Hannah: yeah

Hannah: but now we get to talk so its fine :) 

Illumina: hannah and tina? you guys are in my history class, right?

Tina: i think so?

Dream: okay lets maybe do introductions

Dream: @Everyone NEW PEOPLE ARE HERE!! GET UR BUTTS ONLINE AND INTRODUCE URSELVES

Dream: ill start even tho tina you already know me

Dream: its name, pronouns, grade, and stuff you want people to know about you

Dream: im dream, pronouns he/him, senior, and i have adhd, but i dont take meds cause i dont like them, so i talk really fast and fidget a lot. im also in two separate qprs with @/Illumina and @/Technoblade and am dating @/Punz 

Tina: hi im tina!! im a senior, and my pronouns are she/her! i play flute? idk im not really sure what to say lol

Hannah: hey im hannah, im a senior, and my pronouns are also she/her. im planning to audition for a role in the musical, but im not quite sure which part i want yet lol

Illumina: whats up, im illumina. yall probably know me as the guy who got the fastest 400 meter dash in the state last year lol. im a senior, my pronouns are he/him, and like dream already said, he and i are in a qpr

Technoblade: i’m technoblade. he/him. senior. i also have adhd and i have my headphones in a lot, so if you need to talk to me just get my attention somehow, but don’t touch me without asking. also, don’t touch my violin or i will chop your hand off.

Technoblade: oh, and i’m also in a queerplatonic relationship with dream, i guess.

Dream: you guess? wow </3 /lh

Dream: cant believe you would do this to me tech

Technoblade: suffer. we all do.

Dream: :( 

Dream: but you still love me right

Technoblade: since you brought me that coffee this morning, yes.

Dream: yay 

Sapnap: tina?? youre auditioning??

Tina: yeah!! :D 

Sapnap: POG

Sapnap: oh yeah, and im sapnap, im a senior, and my pronouns are he/him

George: george, he/him, senior

Phil: hey, i’m phil, i’m a senior, my pronouns are he/him, and im NOT a dad, no matter what these idiots might say

Dream: wdym

Dream: you literally are dad

Phil: no im not

Phil: they just call me dad because apparently i act like one

Illumina: tbf you do

Illumina: youre always making sure we eat enough and sleep enough and dont commit crimes

Phil: yeah, cause i’m RESPONSIBLE

Phil: unlike the rest of you

Dream: in mine and technos defenses, we have adhd

Illumina: i do sleep

Illumina: and eat

Illumina: sometimes

Phil: illumina, mate, you literally live off of monster

Phil: so does karl

Illumina: i- fair

Hannah: wow, you guys really dont take care of yourselves

Technoblade: does anyone?

Hannah: fair

Punz: oh sht i just saw this

Punz: uh im punz, im a senior, pronouns are he/they (idc which one you use), and im dating dream (romantically)

Punz: i also have my airpods in a lot but if u need to talk to me just tap me on the shoulder or smthn

Seapeekay: woah new people

Seapeekay: wait i know you two

Tina: you do?

Seapeekay: i think so? your names seem familiar

Seapeekay: well, i’m callum/seapeekay/cpk (use whichever one u want lol, you can even call me cal if you’d like)

Seapeekay: i’m a senior, my pronouns are he/him, and im a stats nerd, so if you need math help i’m your guy lmao

Dream: cal!! wanna meet up for lunch

Dream: i have a muffin from culinary that i wanna give you

Seapeekay: ofc

Seapeekay: pissduo needs to get back together, its been too long

Dream: trueee

Technoblade: you guys literally walked to school together this morning.

Hannah: pissduo??

Tina: ^^

Illumina: dont question it

Hannah: im sorry to break it to you, but i am questioning it so hard rn

Dream: dw about it :) 

Dream: cal meet me in the courtyard

Seapeekay: o7

Punz: hey i want a muffin

Dream: sure cause youre my boyfriend <3

Sapnap: i want a muffin

Dream: no bc u stole my chips yesterday <3

Seapeekay: HAHA

Seapeekay: clearly i am the superior best friend

Sapnap: watch it cpk, i wont hesitate to beat u up

Tina: is this what its always like

Illumina: yeah

Technoblade: yes.

Technoblade: get used to it.

Ranboo: ooh hello new people

Ranboo: im ranboo, sophomore, he/they. i struggle with memory loss so if i forget something you told me, pls dont be offended as i forgot pretty much everything lol

Ranboo: hold on lemme tell tommy and tubbo to get on and introduce themselves

Big Man Tommy: HELLO LADIES

Phil: oh my god

Phil: tommy please

Hannah: uh, hello?

Big Man Tommy: I AM BIG MAN TOMMYINNIT

Big Man Tommy: MY PRONOUNS ARE HE/HIM AND IM THE BIGGEST SOPHOMORE TO EVER SOPHOMORE

Technoblade has kicked Big Man Tommy from the groupchat

Dream: wtf tech when did u get the power to kick people

Technoblade: i never reveal my secrets.

Technoblade: i’ll add him back later, once i feel like it.

Tubbo: well tommy just got kicked i guess

Tubbo: im tubbo! he/him, sophomore, and i really like bees :D 

Dream: theres more people but a lot of them have class rn so theyre probably trying to focus

Dream: you guys will prolly meet them later 

Hannah: alright then

Tina: sounds… exciting

Dream: LMAO

Dream: dw tina youll get used to it

Tina: i dont know if i will, but okay

Tina: im gonna go eat with lily syk and rae now, ttyl!!

Hannah: yeah im also gonna go eat with my friends

Hannah: ill talk to yall later :) 

Illumina: bye guys

Dream: bye tina! bye hannah!

Dream: ttyl

Phil: dream go eat

Dream: ok dad

Phil: jfc

Chapter Text

COOL KIDS

Wednesday, 10:50 AM

Fundy: so i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but i overheard kacey telling her friends that shes going to audition for belle

Dream: youre KIDDING me

Dream: does she know that im auditioning?

Fundy: i dont see how she would, but word travels fast

Dream: ugh

Dream: she might be trying to get revenge on me for stealing the soloist role in the choir concert last year

Dream: and after she already spread rumors about me too

Sapnap: fck kacey, all my homies hate her

Sapnap: you gotta get this role now dream

Sapnap: you cant lose to kacey

Dream: no way am i losing to that bitch

Dream: she cant even sing well

Hannah: kacey? isnt she that girl whos always talking trash about people

Dream: yeah, and she spread rumors about me last year bc mr marriott chose me to solo last year for the choir concert instead of her

Hannah: i dont see why he wouldntve? i heard you sing and you were SO GOOD

Dream: aw thanks :) 

Dream: but yeah, she sucks and no way am i losing belle to her

Dream: i gotta pick my song to sing for the audition

Fundy: oh yeah, speaking of which, can i audition for keyboard again @Technoblade 

Technoblade: yeah. i’ll send you the music.

Seapeekay: hey techno, can i tell people that you’re the person to talk to for auditioning for orchestra? i know a few who are interested

Technoblade: give them my email.

Seapeekay: got it

Technoblade: dream, my disappointment in you will be immeasurable if you lose belle to kacey.

Dream: dw, ill be disappointed in myself too

Dream: if i dont get the role i want you to punch me

Technoblade: … no.

Dream: why not

Technoblade: i won’t punch you. instead i’ll stop talking to you for a week.

Dream: NO

Dream: now i really DO have to get that role

Seapeekay: pfftt

Fundy: oh btw for the new people, im fundy, my pronouns are he/him, im a senior, and if you need something coded then contact me and we can work out a price

Dream: if you need something stolen then contact me and we can work out a price :) 

Technoblade: if you need someone murdered, contact me. i’ll do it for free if i don’t like them. 

Sam: what is wrong with yall

Dream: good question

Hannah: hi i just got back and wow

Hannah: ive missed a lot

Hannah: its a little concerning how all of yall seem to have businesses already, especially dreams and technos

Illumina: oh are we plugging our business

Illumina: if you need something speedran contact me and we can work out a price

Sam: if you need something built contact me? idk 

Sam: i have helped pretty much everyone here build something at some point or another

Seapeekay: if you need help with stats contact me ig

Seapeekay: i dont really have a good resume LMAO

Dream: you can join my business

Seapeekay: i thought i was already a part of your business?

Dream: oh yeah you are

Dream: lumi too

Hannah: hey, are yall down to eat together today? all of my friends went to the library to study lol

Dream: sure! i think pretty much all of us are gonna eat in the courtyard? idk about sap and his boyfriends tho, they might go to the bathrooms to snog again

Dream: dammit callum ur stupid british vocab is rubbing off on me again

Seapeekay: LMAO

Hannah: alright, im omw!

---

Besties!!! <3

Dweam: tinaaaa

Dweam: come eat with us

Dweam: hannahs here too

Teana: ok ill come eat with you guys

Teana: is there space for me?

Dweam: theres always space for you

Teana: aww okay <3

---

Coincidentally, when Tina leaves her classroom to head to lunch, she runs into Dream and Techno in the hallway. They’re strolling leisurely side-by-side, Dream rambling on about something and Techno listening silently. They make a strange duo- Dream has all the energy of a golden retriever puppy, while Techno is stoic and apathetic, his headphones clamped over his ears and his gaze impassive. It’s almost funny, in comparison, how many colorful stickers cover his violin case- a white blob, a pig, a crown, an anarchist A, a TwoSet Violin logo, and a little Minecraft diamond sword.

Tina hurries to catch up to them. “Dream!” she calls.

“Tina!” Dream turns and grins at her- a golden retriever puppy indeed. He offers his arm, and she laughs, hooking their elbows together.

“Tina, this is Techno,” Dream says, tilting his head at Techno. “You probably know him already, but yeah.”

“Hi, Techno.” Tina waves and receives a short nod in return- which doesn’t make her feel too bad, since Techno would probably greet everyone that way, even the president of the United States.

“I was telling Tech about how Mr. Marriott told me that he’d still cast me for Belle even though I’m a boy,” Dream tells Tina as they turn down the main hallway. “They’re not supposed to play favorites, but I think both he and Mr. Scott would prefer me over Kacey.”

“Everyone would,” Techno says in his deep baritone. 

Dream gasps and grins playfully at Techno. “Oh my god, Tech, was that a compliment? For me?”

“Hmm,” Techno replies noncommittally, but he bumps his shoulder against Dream’s. 

They reach the doors to the courtyard and head outside. Tina tugs her cardigan closer and follows Dream and Techno over to two round tables near the far end. The tables have been haphazardly pushed together, and Dream’s (quite frankly massive) friend group are all sprawled out across the benches, getting their lunch boxes out or squabbling over seating arrangements.

Tina spots Punz waving to her from where he’s sitting next to Seapeekay. She starts to walk over, but Dream gets there first and throws his arms around Seapeekay’s neck from behind. “Boo!”

Seapeekay laughs, and Punz shakes his head in mock disappointment. “Wow, Dream. I can’t believe you’d say hi to the furry first instead of me, your boyfriend.”

“Watch it, Mr. B-tier,” Seapeekay teases, reaching up and resting his hands over Dream’s. “You literally were a meme last year.”

“Okay, we don’t talk about that.”

Dream lets Seapeekay go and presses a quick kiss to Punz’s cheek before squeezing in between them. “Tina!” he calls, waving at her. “Come sit. There’s a spot next to Punz.”

Tina sits at the end of the bench, next to Punz, and surveys the table. On the three other benches are Sam, Ant, Bad, George, and Foolish- the latter of whom is shoveling chicken nuggets into his mouth while Sam and George egg him on. At the other table, Tommy is arguing with Phil, Wilbur and Techno are watching, Niki is passing around cookies, and Tubbo and Ranboo are- Is that a Nerf gun? Tina wonders.

She shrugs to herself and turns to Dream. “Where’s Illumina?”

“Probably went to speedrun a piss,” Dream says, casually stealing one of Seapeekay’s sushi rolls.

Punz grins. “So true.”

Hannah comes jogging up and sits next to Foolish. “Hey, guys, sorry I just got here. My class is literally at the opposite end of the building.”

“Hi, Hann- no! My chips!” Seapeekay tries to grab his chip bag back from Dream. “Dream! Give it back!”

“Sorry, Cal, but they’re mine now.” Dream sticks his tongue playfully at Seapeekay and grabs a handful of chips from the bag. Seapeekay makes another swipe for it, but Dream quickly passes the bag to Punz, who tosses it across the table at Sam.

“This is a hate crime,” Seapeekay complains, watching as Sam peers into the chip bag with interest. 

Tina giggles. “Against what? Furries?”

“Wow, Tina. And here I thought we were friends.”

“Aww, Cal, it’s okay,” Dream teases, slinging an arm around Seapeekay’s shoulders. “We love you even if you are a furry.”

“ Well ,” Punz says.

“Tina! Look at this,” Foolish calls, and Tina turns her attention to him as Seapeekay and Punz begin to banter. She falls into the rhythm of conversation surprisingly easily, chatting with Foolish and Bad as the others do their own thing. At some point Sapnap arrives with his two boyfriends, and Karl joins Tina and Foolish while Sapnap begins trading Pokemon cards with Punz.

Dream is scrolling on his phone, his head on Seapeekay’s shoulder, his left hand fidgeting with Punz’s fingers. Tina wonders, idly, how mad he would be if she took a picture of him and edited golden retriever ears onto his head. Probably very mad, but it would be worth it.

Grinning to herself, she sneakily snaps a photo and returns to her conversation with Foolish.

This will be fun.

---

COOL KIDS

Wednesday, 4:38 PM

Tina: @Dream pls dont murder me for this 

Tina has attached (1) file [image.jpg]

Seapeekay: LMAO???

Dream: wtf tina

Dream: where did you get that

Tina: i took it during lunch today and i just edited it

Sapnap: dream is a furry confirmed

Dream: STOP

Hannah: okay but why do i feel like that picture is incredibly accurate.

Illumina: it is, drizzle has ultimate puppy energy

Punz: ^^

Dream: lumi and punz, i will crawl through ur windows and stab you both

Punz: … kinky

Technoblade: i will kick you from this chat.

Technoblade: which reminds me.

Technoblade has added Big Man Tommy to the groupchat

Big Man Tommy: IM BACK PRICKS

Punz: goodbye peace and quiet

Big Man Tommy: SHUT UP PUNZ IM SO MUCH MORE MANLY THAN YOU

Punz: tommy i could pick you up and throw you ten yards

Dream: wow, only ten yards?

Dream: im dating a weak ass quarterback /lh

Punz: … dream this is betrayal

Dream: :D 

Illumina: okay but can we go back to the picture

Dream: LUMI I WILL END YOU

Illumina: lmao

Seapeekay: its okay dream

Seapeekay: its okay to be a furry

Dream: FCK YOU CALLUM

Tina: im sorry dream :( i just thought it was cute

Dream: oh no youre good tina

Dream: this was all /lh haha

Tina: oh okay :D 

Seapeekay: honestly this is what happens every time we sit together

Seapeekay: i just become a human pillow

Dream: your fault for having comfy shoulders

Ranboo: dream steals shoulders like i steal gender

Dream: SKSKHEJLK LMAO

Technoblade: that was a weirdly accurate statement.

Sapnap: i still think dream is a furry for this

Dream: tech imma need one murder

Dream: how much

Technoblade: eh.

Technoblade: buy me coffees for the rest of the week.

Dream: deal

Sapnap: wait no pls i take it back

Big Man Tommy: how come he just has to buy you coffee, but when i want a murder i have to pay all of my allowance???

Technoblade: because i like him better than you.

Big Man Tommy: WHAT THE FCK

Dream: omg tech is this the start of our enemies to qpps slow burn arc

Technoblade: … that happened a year ago.

Dream: version 2

Sapnap: dream youre not actually going to let him kill me right

Dream: :) 

Sapnap: fck

Chapter Text

COOL KIDS

Wednesday, 11:03 AM

Big Man Tommy: @Everyone REMINDER THAT AUDITONS ARE IN A WEEK

WilburSoot: wait a wEEK??

Big Man Tommy: yeah

WilburSoot: fck fck fck i need to prepare

Dream: wil what role are you gonna go for?

WilburSoot: gaston baby

WilburSoot: youve been dreaming just one dream ;)

Dream: nearly all your lifeeeee

WilburSoot: hoping scheming just one thing

WilburSoot: will you be a wifeeeee

Dream: will you be some he mans property

WilburSoot: good news, that he mans me~

WilburSoot: god we make such a good pair

Dream: we really do

Dream: see you at the auditions ;)

Big Man Tommy: ew stop flirting

WilburSoot: were just getting into character tommy

WilburSoot: also @Technoblade where are u :(  

Dream: oh techs in the bathroom with me

WilburSoot: wtf why are you two in the bathroom

Dream: bc overstimulation is a bitch

WilburSoot: ah

WilburSoot: are you guys coming to lunch

Dream: yeah just give us a few more minutes

Dream: im just gonna braid techs hair so brb

WilburSoot: alright, see ya at lunch

---

COOL KIDS

Wednesday, 2:09 PM

Dream: ok so let me get this straight

Dream: wilbur, youre going for gaston. boo, youre going for lefou. puffy wants mrs potts. punzie and tubs dont know yet, you two just want to audition. and toms, you want lumiere

Big Man Tommy: damn right i do

Big Man Tommy: also jack is auditioning as well

Dream: lmao okay

Puffy: yep!!

WilburSoot: that is indeed correct

Technoblade: dream do you know any french horns.

Technoblade: we have none of those auditioning yet.

Dream: uhhhh i think i can find you at least one person? 

Dream: are u missing anything else

Technoblade: we need another cello and another second violin, but i can find those. then we just need a clarinet, another flute, two trumpets, a trombonist, three more keyboardists, and one percussionist.

Ranboo: I CAN GET YOU A CLARINETIST

Ranboo: aimsey plays

Technoblade: send them my email and tell them to contact me for the music.

Ranboo: sir yes sir

Seapeekay: i might also be able to get you a few of those techno

Seapeekay: i know a lot of people lol

Illumina: techno i dont have an english horn

Technoblade: play those parts on your oboe. mr. sparklez won’t penalize you for it, and if you make it in, he’ll give you an english horn to use.

Sapnap: ant plays piano right?

Dream: youre right he does

Dream: ill get him in touch with u techno

Dream: and sylvee plays as well!! ill tell both of them to talk to you techno

Technoblade: i just realized that skeppy plays a lot of the percussion instruments. i’ll talk to him about that.

Dream: epic

Dream: also check it out guys i finally managed to get a good run of my audition piece yesterday

Dream has attached (1) file [video.mp4]

Seapeekay: WOAH YOU SOUND SO GOOD???

Dream: thank youuuuu

Seapeekay: damn if they dont accept you then they have problems LMAO

Dream: <3

Technoblade: you do sound really good.

Illumina: you sound amazing drizzle <3

Big Man Tommy: THIS IS WHY BIG D IS THE BEST

Ranboo: so true

Puffy: tommy i dont think ive ever heard you be more based

Big Man Tommy: HEY

Big Man Tommy: IM ALWAYS BASED

Dream: okay tomathy

Big Man Tommy: okay CLAY

Dream: okay tomato

Big Man Tommy: okay CLAYINGTON

Seapeekay: clayington????

Tubbo: drem

Technoblade: actually, it’s dre.

Dream: STOP

Technoblade: nope. you’re never escaping that.

Technoblade has changed Dream’s name to Dre

Dre: WTF HOW COME YOU CAN CHANGE NAMES

Dre: YOURE NOT EVEN THE CREATOR OF THIS CHAT

Technoblade: as sun tzu once said: don’t reveal all your techniques in a youtube video, you fool, you moron.

Illumina: that- doesnt seem right

Technoblade: are you questioning the wisdom of sun tzu?

Illumina: no

Technoblade: smart answer.

Dre has changed their name to Dream

Dream: okay now change tommys name to tomathy

Big Man Tommy: DO NOT 

Dream: LMAMOAFMAOSF

Big Man Tommy: FCK YOU BITCH

Big Man Tommy: I TAKE IT BACK YOURE THE ELAST BIG MAN EVER

Big Man Tommy: I AM TEN TIME SBIGGER

Dream: zero times ten is still zero

Big Man Tommy: FCK YOUUUUUU

Dream: <3

Dream: on that note, since the bell is about to ring, would anyone like to come to the cafe after school with me and cal

Seapeekay: speaking of which, dream which entrance are we meeting at

Dream: how about the roof

Seapeekay: … no

Dream: why :( 

Seapeekay: because i dont have your talents

Seapeekay: i cant get on the roof

Dream: L

Dream: we can meet at the front

Seapeekay: okay, then, anyone who wants to come meet us at the front

Tina: i wanna come!!

Niki: ill come too!

Puffy: me as well :) 

Technoblade: i have a violin lesson.

Illumina: yeah i cant either

Illumina: i have skating

Tina: skating?

Illumina: i figure skate

Tina: really? thats so cool

Illumina: thanks lol

Illumina: my parents wanted me to do hockey but im a bad child

Dream: according to lumi, when youre a kid in canada you dont get a choice

Dream: youre put on skates and thrown onto the ice and told to play hockey

Illumina: this is true

Illumina: fruit and i used to be teammates back in canada lmao

Illumina: he stuck with it but i quit 

Technoblade: imagine.

Niki: omg i love figure skating its so pretty

Niki: do you have a video of you? /nf

Illumina: drizzle?

Dream has attached (1) file [video1.mp4]

Tina: woaaahhh

Niki: ^^^

Niki: what song are you skating to?

Illumina: one of chopins nocturnes, cant remember which one

Illumina: its a routine i did at a competition back in december

Seapeekay: those jumps look insane

Seapeekay: bros got hops

Seapeekay: damn

Illumina: its actually not that hard lol

Illumina: the first one was a double salchow, which is pretty easy

Illumina: second one was a single axel, also not that bad

Illumina: the biellman spin is harder for me bc im not super flexible so i have trouble getting my foot over my head

Niki: the axel looked really cool

Illumina: you havent seen a delayed axel

Illumina: those are really awesome, but really hard

Niki: how long have you been doing it?

Illumina: since i was eleven?

Illumina: so six years

Niki: thats so cool

Illumina: thanks :) 

Seapeekay: now my stats hobby feels particularly pathetic LMAO

Dream: dont say that 

Dream: your stats skills saved my ass last year

Seapeekay: true lol

Seapeekay: youre welcome <3

Dream: <3

Big Man Tommy: i will not be in attendance bc me and big man tubbo and big man ranboo are going to go to club

Dream: L

Dream: oop that was the bell

Dream: cal dont forget ur water bottle

Seapeekay: how did you know-

Dream: look out the window

Seapeekay: WHAT THE HELL

Seapeekay: WHY ARE YOU THERE

Dream: my teacher went to the bathroom lol

Dream: so i snuck out

Illumina: dream are you committing crimes again

Dream: no but i can

Phil: NO. NO COMMITTING CRIMES

WilburSoot: ah, dadza back it again

Phil: dream please do not commit crimes

Dream: does stealing punzs phone count as a crime

Dream: bc i have his phone

Dream: i snagged it from him before i snuck out

Seapeekay: punz just ran up to me in the hallway asking if id seen his phone…

Seapeekay: dream he wants it back

Dream: ill give it to him at the front but first i have to go terrorize sappy

Dream: tell punzie that he can come with us too

Dream: ill go see if sap wants to come

Technoblade: dream. is that you whizzing past the windows.

Dream: maybe

Dream: who knows

Illumina: i just saw him frogleap past the doors what the fck

Phil: can someone please make sure he doesnt hurt himself

Illumina: i can try to catch up

Illumina: hes fast tho

Seapeekay: so are you?

Illumina: yeah but im not nearly as insane as him

Seapeekay: fair

Seapeekay: im sure you can3rekladnka

Phil: cpk? you good dude?

Seapeekay: HE JUST JUMPED ON MYBACK

Dream: boo :) 

Puffy: im just going to leave this here

Puffy has attached (1) file [image1.jpg]

Technoblade: dream get off of him. you’re going to break his old bones.

Seapeekay: i am TWO MONTHS older than u

Technoblade: the retirement home’s looking for you and phil.

Phil: wtf mate

Puffy: okay dream has gotten off

Puffy: i guess were going to the cafe now?

Puffy: uh goodbye i guess

Phil: please make sure he doesnt commit crimes puffy

Puffy: ill try, no promises tho

Phil: istg

Technoblade: may i show you this neat place called the retirement home for your troubled soul?

Phil: IM NOT OLD

Technoblade: you keep telling yourself that, grandpa.

Phil: …

Chapter Text

piss 

Tuesday, 11:48 PM

Dre: skdalfkjalfkj my audition is tomorrow

Seapeepeekay: you got this dude

Seapeepeekay: you are literally the best possible person for belle

Dre: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Seapeepeekay: are you okay?

Dre: no

Dre: i think i might be having a breakdown,,,

Seapeepeekay: do you have your weighted blankets?

Seapeepeekay: and wheres patches?

Dre: idk

Dre: im not like. actually breaking down i dont think

Dre: but idk

Dre: im just really jittery

Seapeepeekay: get ur blankets then

Seapeepeekay: do you want to call?

Dre: yeah

Seapeepeekay has started a call (11:49 PM)

Call ended (1:20 AM)

---

COOL KIDS

Wednesday, 6:50 AM

Dream: good morning fckers

Dream: its audition day

Dream: who else had a nervous breakdown last night

Technoblade: me.

Dream: youre?? guaranteed a spot??

Technoblade: i know. i had one for fun.

Dream: *hug*

Niki: good luck to everyone auditioning!!

Niki: you guys are gonna do great <3

Big Man Tommy: LETS DO THIS BOYS

Big Man Tommy: BIG D IF YOU DONT GET IN IM GOING TO BE SO MAD

Dream: i know toms

WilburSoot: cmon dream you gotta get in

WilburSoot: theres no way im flirting with KACEY

Dream: lmao

Dream: ill try wil <3

Punz: i have not prepared enough

Punz: but here we go

WilburSoot: punz you can sing?

Dream: yes he can

Dream: really well

WilburSoot: how did i never know about this

Punz: its not my best talent lmao

Punz: but i can do it okay

Technoblade: good luck to you theater people.

Technoblade: good luck to everyone auditioning for the pit as well.

Tina: gl <333

---

COOL KIDS

Wednesday, 11:41 AM

Punz: yo where the fck is dream

Punz: hes not responding to my texts

Hannah: maybe hes just in the bathroom?

Tina: oh dream is with me and illumina in the band room

Punz: wtf why

Tina: well we were all in band together

Tina: and then mr sparklez was like “reminder that auditions are this afternoon!”

Tina: and dream just started panicking? ig he was just really stressed and mr sparklez reminded him

Tina: so illumina and i stayed behind to calm him down

Tina: they r cuddling rn

Tina: its cute <3

Punz: is he okay?

Tina: ye hes fine now!! we’re currently bullying illumina :) 

Technoblade: good. bully the canadian.

Punz: okay thanks tina

Hannah: are you guys going to lunch then?

Tina: we might eat here

Tina: dream doesnt think he can handle the courtyard or caf rn :( 

Tina: mr sparklez says that we can stay as long as we need so long as we dont skip class

Tina: so we might stay here for lunch and break

Punz: alright

Tina: punz dream would like to call you pathetic for worrying about him so much

Punz: hey

Punz: tell him that im an alpha chad

Tina: sure punz

Tina: anyways i gotta get back to bullying illumina now, byeeee!

Punz: bye? lmao 

---

Dream has started a groupchat

Dream has added 2 people

Dream has renamed the groupchat to ‘Illumina exposure club’

Dream: in honor of today in the band room

Illumina: STOP

TinaKitten: omg we get to expose illumina even more now

Illumina: no please

Dream: we should spread the word

Dream: lumi wants to take ur children and feed them to the devil

Illumina: no stop

Dream has changed Illumina’s name to ‘Toxic DNFer’

Toxic DNFer: i hate you

TinaKitten: dre give me admin

Dream has made Tina an admin

TinaKitten has changed Dream’s name to ‘Dre (villain arc)’

TinaKitten  has changed their name to Tina

Dre (villain arc): mwahhahaha >:3

Tina: meow

Dre (villain arc): meow

Toxic DNFer: …

Toxic DNFer: meow

Dre (villain arc): YEAAAHHH

Dre (villain arc): also can we hang out after my audition

Dre (villain arc): bc i do not want to think about it after im done

Tina: omg yes!!

Tina: we could do a movie night?

Toxic DNFer: i am so down for that

Toxic DNFer: you guys can come to my place, my parents wont mind

Toxic DNFer: plus i have birb :) 

Dre (villain arc): FLURF <333

Tina: who is flurf?

Toxic DNFer has attached (1) file [image.jpg]

Tina: ohmy god hes so cute!!

Dre (villain arc): birb <3

Toxic DNFer: birb <3

Tina: such adorable birb <3

Tina: so illuminas place? what time?

Tina: and are we inviting anyone else?

Dre (villain arc): my audition is over at five

Toxic DNFer: so we can order pizza then and yall can just chill until ten or eleven, idgaf

Toxic DNFer: do you want a ride?

Dre (villain arc): ye ill text you when its over

Toxic DNFer: kay

Dre (villain arc): im just going to pop an invite in the gc

Dre (villain arc): you guys okay with that?

Toxic DNFer: yep

Dre (villain arc): pog

---

COOL KIDS 

Thursday, 1:58 PM

Dream: who wants to come to movie night at lumis place

Dream: five to whenever we want

Seapeekay: me

Hannah: ill come!

Tina: me too!

Puffy: can niki and i come?

Dream: anyone can come <3

Dream: lumi has a bird though so if youre like

Dream: allergic or something

Punz: i have homework :/

Dream: L

Dream: its okay punzie we can do our own movie night this weekend

Dream: im going to need it if i fail this audition

Punz: no way you fail

Punz: youre literally the best singer in this school, AND you can dance

Dream: its true

Dream: i dance well, especially on laps ;)

Technoblade: excuse me?

Dream: nothing 

Technoblade: good answer.

Hannah: are they always like this

Puffy: yeah

Puffy: you should see dream with george tbh

Puffy: dream flirts with everyone

Hannah: and punz is okay with that?

Punz: yeah idc lol

Punz: i flirt with sam all the time

Punz: its just a thing we do with our friends

Hannah: oh okay

Hannah: thats cool then

Dream: yeah dw hannah punzie and i have talked about it before and were chill <3

Hannah: okay!

Hannah: sorry, wasnt my place to pry

Dream: dw youre fine <3

Dream: hey tech are you coming

Technoblade: i don’t think so.

Technoblade: my parents want me home.

Dream: aw okay

Dream: anyone else?

Dream: @Sapnap @George @Sam @BadBoyHalo @Big Man Tommy @Tubbo @Ranboo 

Dream: bad i know youre in here somewhere

BadBayHalo: i cant, sorry dream :( 

Sapnap: im going over to karls after my audition

Sam: yeah i have homework like punz

Ranboo: tubbo and tommy and i are going to the movie theater funnily enough

Ranboo: id love to go to the movie night tho

Ranboo: maybe next time?

Dream: thats fine, i was just wondering

Dream: so its just me, tina, lumi, cal, niki, hannah, and puffy then?

Ranboo: the girls, the gays, and callum seapeekay

Seapeekay: … i feel called out

Dream: good /lh

Dream: alright see yall later then :D 

---

Dream’s audition goes about as well as he could’ve hoped for, but there’s still a churning pit of anxiety in his stomach as he leaves the theater, still in the emerald green dress he’d put on for the audition. Mr. Scott had smiled at him when he’d finished, which is maybe a good sign- but then again, Mr. Scott smiles at everyone. And to make things worse, he’d passed Kacey when he’d arrived for his audition. She’d been leaving, and he has no idea how she’d done, but her venomous smirk had been enough to set him on edge.

He’s glad that his friends had agreed to the movie night- otherwise he would just go home and stress about the audition. At least now he can have something to take his mind off of it for a few hours. Puffy had texted saying that she was going to go pick up the pizza, and he can already imagine lazing on the couch with his friends, sharing a few pizzas between them and watching a horror movie.

Seapeekay’s beat-up silver car is sitting just outside the front doors; Dream hops in and immediately reaches for the aux. “Music. Now.”

“Okay,” Seapeekay says, laughing. He eases on the gas and begins the drive to Illumina’s house. “How was it?”

“Fine, I guess,” Dream mumbles, leaning back in his seat as Taylor Swift begins to play. “Just nervous. I don’t know how Kacey did.”

“Dude, there’s no way Kacey is beating you. I promise you’ll be fine, I promise .”

“I’m holding you up on that,” Dream teases.

“Look, if you don’t make it, you have my permission to punch me, okay?”

“I could never punch you, Cal.”

“I see you punching Techno all the time,” Seapeekay points out.

“Yeah, but Techno is Techno and can fight back. You meanwhile-”

“Listen, I can hold my own too! I work out!”

Dream gives his friend the side-eye. “Is that why you’re built like a twig?”

“I- this is betrayal. I can’t believe this.”

They’re both singing along to Taylor Swift, Dream giggling at Seapeekay’s extremely out-of-tune voice, when Illumina’s house comes into view. Seapeekay parks in the driveway, and they both hop out, winding their way through the small front yard to reach the porch.

Tina opens the door for them, a pack of M&Ms in hand. “Oh my god, Dream! Hi! How was the audition?”

“Okay, I guess. I still don’t really want to talk about it,” he admits, pulling her into a hug. She hums sympathetically and squeezes his waist. Like Niki always does, she smells faintly of vanilla and chocolate chip cookies- a homely smell, one that only makes him adore her even more.

“I love your dress,” Tina comments as they separate. “If you wanna change, though, I’m sure Illumina won’t mind you stealing his clothes.”

“He already does,” Seapeekay points out, stretching his arms above his head. “I swear, like, all he wears is his friends’ clothes.”

Dream sticks his tongue out at Seapeekay and heads for the stairs. “Yeah, I’m gonna change. I’ll be right back.”

When he comes back down, now wearing a hoodie and sweatpants he’d stolen from Illumina’s closet with his dress tucked neatly away in his bag, Tina and Seapeekay are in the living room. Illumina is there too, fiddling with the TV, and Hannah is lounging on the couch, eating chips.

“Where’s Puffy and Niki?” Dream asks, stealing a chip from Hannah as he passes by and flashing her a wink at her exaggeratedly outraged gasp. 

“On their way with the pizza,” Tina says. She pats the spot on the couch next to her. “Come sit!”

Dream settles in between Tina and Seapeekay, with Hannah on the other end. “Lumi,” he calls. “Where’s bird?”

“Did you agree to come over to my house just for Flurf?” Illumina asks over his shoulder.

“Of course. Flurf is better than you.”

“Who’s Flurf?” Hannah asks curiously.

“My bird.” Illumina stands up. “I’ll go get him out of his cage; he needs to get out for a bit anyways.”

A few moments later, the doorbell rings. “That’s probably Puffy and Niki,” Hannah says, standing up. “I’ll go let them in.”

Dream hums, curling up and letting his head fall on Seapeekay’s shoulder. He peers down at Seapeekay’s phone, the screen displaying a Reddit post. “Minecraft stats? Nerd.”

“Techno’s rubbing off on you,” Seapeekay comments, his chin resting gently on top of Dream’s head. “Stats are cool, okay?”

“Sure, Cal,” Dream teases, laughing. He begins to fiddle with one of Seapeekay’s hoodie drawstrings with one hand, the other reaching for Tina’s. She grabs his hand without hesitation and gives a gentle squeeze.

Footsteps announce the arrival of Puffy and Niki and the return of Hannah and Illumina. The former two are carrying four pizza boxes between them; Hannah is holding another box, and Illumina has Flurf. Dream immediately lifts his head off of Seapeekay’s shoulder and holds out his hands. “Give.”

Illumina passes his bird over; Dream cradles Flurf to his chest and absentmindedly rubs a thumb over the parrotlet’s silky head as the girls set down their boxes. “Hannah, what’s that?”

“I brought my nail polishes and makeup kit,” Niki explains, flashing him a smile. “Just in case anyone wants to do some while we’re watching. Tina, you wanted to paint your nails, right?”

“Yeah!” Tina agrees, beaming. “Oh, and Dream, I can do your nails too.”

“Really? All right.”

“There’s two cheese pizzas, one pepperoni, and one vegetarian,” Puffy explains, flopping down on the other couch between Niki and Hannah. “So what are we watching?”

Illumina tosses the remote to her. “You can pick, unless someone else wants to. I have Netflix and Hulu.”

After some debate, they settle on a movie to watch. Puffy starts it up while Tina and Illumina grab plates, napkins, and random snacks- including popcorn- from the kitchen. All the food is set on the table, within reach of everyone, and cans of soda are brought out as well.

Dream wiggles closer to Seapeekay in order to make room for Tina, who squeezes in next to him; Illumina claims the last spot on the couch on Tina’s other side. The three other girls are all curled up on the other couch, Puffy’s arm thrown around Niki’s shoulder and Hannah watching in shock as the two flirt. 

The atmosphere is quiet and cozy- a nice change from the usual chaos that happens during movie nights with Sapnap and George. Not that Dream minds those kinds of movie nights, but it is a nice change in pace to be able to relax and watch the movie in relative peace. He munches on a slice of pizza as the title sequence plays on the TV screen and his friends shift around him, getting comfortable. Flurf is on his shoulder now, seemingly content to just sit there and occasionally nip at his ear.

About five minutes into the movie, Seapeekay leans closer and whispers, “I don’t like this guy.”

Dream giggles. “Why?”

“He’s seventeen.”

“Oh, no. Not the dreaded seventeen!”

“He’s also Canadian,” Tina whispers, grinning.

“Hey,” Illumina complains from the end of the couch. “I heard that.”

“Ew, imagine being Canadian,” Puffy says. “That is so cringe.”

“Cringier than an alarm trap?” Niki giggles.

“Nah, alarm traps are OP. Right, Hannah? Being Canadian, on the other hand, is, like, a nerf. -20 to all stats.”

“I’m being bullied,” Illumina whines. Hannah puts her head into her hands and makes a sound akin to a muffled scream.

Dream smiles, warm contentment settling in the pit of his stomach. He leans against Seapeekay and continues to eat his pizza, crunching on the crust. Tina’s hand brushes against his, and he threads their fingers together, giving a light squeeze.

About half an hour into the movie, Seapeekay gets up to use the restroom. Tina also moves down to the floor to start painting her nails, and Flurf had gone over to Niki, so Dream stretches out on the rest of the couch and rests his head on Illumina’s lap. He scoops a handful of popcorn from the bowl and slowly munches on the kernels as he continues to watch the movie.

Illumina tugs playfully on one of his curls. “Am I just your pillow now?”

“Mhm,” he hums. “Look, Puffy’s doing it to.” On the other couch, Niki is braiding Hannah’s hair and Puffy has her head in Niki’s lap, her neck twisted strangely so she can see the TV screen.

“Yeah, but Puffy’s not eating popcorn upside down.”

“It’s good, though.” Dream shoves another kernel into his mouth. “Although I’m kind of craving ice.”

“You and your ice,” Seapeekay says fondly as he comes back. He nudges Dream’s feet aside and sits back down. “I don’t understand how you can eat that stuff. It’s so hard.”

Dream smirks. “I like it when it’s hard.”

“Oh my god,” Tina says from the floor. “Can you not be gay for, like, two seconds?”

“No, because men.”

Illumina muffles a laugh in his sleeve. “He has a point.”

“All Dream does is simp for men, honestly,” Puffy says.

“More like all men do is simp for Dream,” Seapeekay replies.

Dream giggles. He doesn’t think any of them are really watching the movie anymore, other than Hannah, but he doesn’t care. It’s comfortable here, with Illumina’s hand in his hair and his friends’ laughter filling the room, and he loves it.

“Dream, I can do your nails now.” Tina turns, her fingernails sparkling with red polish. “What color do you want?”

“Green, please.”

“How surprising,” Puffy deadpans.

“Shut up, Puffy.” Dream shifts and extends his hands so that Tina can reach his nails. “Thank you, Tina, you’re the best.”

She hums and begins to paint his nails with a base coat. He lets her work her magic and turns his gaze back to the movie, letting it absorb his attention once more. Illumina is still idly twirling a strand of his hair around, and he feels the most relaxed that he’s been in a while. He thinks he could easily stay here for another three hours.

After the movie is done they watch another one, and then everyone disperses to go home. Puffy offers to take Dream home, along with Niki and Tina, so he clambers into her car and lets her drive him back to his house. He stumbles up the stairs, his bag tucked under his arm and his nails freshly painted, and collapses on his bed.

Dream passes out feeling exhausted and content, and for once his sleep is dreamless.

---

COOL KIDS

Thursday, 6:40 AM

Tina: guys look i found a puppy last night

Tina has attached (1) file [image2.jpg]

Dream: TINA

Chapter Text

COOL KIDS

Saturday, 9:34 AM

Big Man Tommy: CAST LIST IS OUT

Big Man Tommy has attached (1) file [cast_list.pdf]

Dream: OH MGY DOFJF

Dream: I GOT BELLE????

Ranboo: CONGRATS DREEAAAMM

Ranboo: I GOT LEFOU!!

Dream: YEAH BOO LETS GO

Dream: omg tommy got lumiere? pop off??

Big Man Tommy: thats right

Big Man Tommy: and jack got cogsworth LMAO

Puffy: i got mrs potts??

Dream: YEAH PUFFY <333

Puffy: <333

Niki: omg good job puffy!

Hannah: nice puffy!

Hannah: oh i got into the ensemble! thats nice

Dream: yeahh

Dream: @WilburSoot WIL YOU GOT GASTON

WilburSoot: holy sht holy sht

WilburSoot: GOOD NEWS THAT HE MANS MEEEEEEEEEEEE

Technoblade: no.

Dream: tech!! i got belle!

Technoblade: i saw.

Technoblade: good job. <3.

Dream: <3333

Puffy: wait is anyone else seeing this??

Puffy: punz got the beast?

Dream: oakfmdlkajerjfsad,j,.djklasjflksaj OH MY GOD HE DID

Dream: THAT IS SO FUNNY

Dream: @Punz WE GOT BEAST AND BELLE PUNZIE

Punz: huh

Punz: oh

Punz: sick

Sapnap: ew does that mean we have to see them kiss

Dream: well youre going to be stuck in the pit like a loser /lh

Sapnap: i dont mind if that means i wont have to see you smooching with ur bf

Dream: punzie we get to dance

Punz: oh god

Punz: i cant dance

Dream: i get to wear a dress :0

Dream: i love belles dress sm, i cant wait to wear it

WilburSoot: oh wow tubbo got the bookseller

Tubbo: well thats ironic  

Dream: lmao?

WilburSoot: dream we should start getting our dynamic in place

WilburSoot: ill flirt and act like a chad and you have to be all disgusted

Punz: back off bro

Sapnap: oooh, someones jealous

Technoblade: wil, you have to eat five dozen eggs now.

WilburSoot: gonna go buy all the fcking eggs from whole foods

Technoblade: oh, and orchestra member list is out as well. @Fundy @Sapnap @Sam @Tina @Illumina @George you all made it.

Tina: YAYYYYY

Tina: OH IM FIRST FLUTE :D 

Dream: LETS GO TINAAAA

Illumina: oh sick

Illumina: now i get to suffer on english horn as well

Fundy: which keyboard part am i?

Technoblade: one.

Fundy: seriously??

Technoblade: yeah.

Fundy: im so fcking good

Big Man Tommy: pit people, cringe

Big Man Tommy: i get to be lumiere

Dream: tommy you need to talk with a french accent now

Big Man Tommy: … im quitting

Dream: LMAO

---

piss 

Saturday, 11:09 AM

Seapeepeekay: see i told u you would be fine

Dre: skjdlfak dont scare me like that

Dre: for a sec i didnt know what you were talking about

Seapeepeekay: LMAO

Seapeepeekay: congrats on belle <3

Dre: thank youuuu <3

Dre: youre the best

Seapeepeekay: omg i got called the best by dream

Seapeepeekay: this is the best day of my life

Dre: lmao

---

Technoblade has started a groupchat

Technoblade has added 12 people

Technoblade has renamed the chat to ‘Pit Orchestra (the ACTUAL cool kids)

Illumina: lol whats with the name

Technoblade: need to prove a point to tommy.

Technoblade: anyways, welcome to the pit orchestra chat. this will be mainly used for updates, but you all are free to talk here if you’d like. i’ll just ping everyone if there’s an announcement.

Technoblade: we need to do introductions. say your name, your pronouns, your instrument, and anything you want people to know.

Technoblade: i’m technoblade. call me that or techno, but do not call me “tech” unless i give you permission to. also, do not touch my stuff or me without asking first. my pronouns are he/him, and i am principal chair (first violin for violin 1), so i am second in command after mr. sparklez. 

Illumina: hey im illumina, he/him, and i play oboe. dont touch my reeds because theyre fragile and i will cry if i break another one

TinaKitten: im tina! she/her, flute one :)

TinaKitten: oh and i always have cork grease and valve oil with me bc a lot of my friends in band tend to forget theirs, so if you need any im happy to provide!

Fundy: fundy, he/him, keyboard one i guess. do not call me a furry

Technoblade: be glad wilbur isn’t in here.

Fundy: yeah thank god for that

Awesamdude has changed their name to Sam

Sam: hey yall, im sam. i go by he/him and im gonna be the double bassist :) i always have spare rosin for all the string instruments so if you need any just ask

Sapnap: sapnap, he/him, first violin for violin 2. dont call me sap unless youre close with me

Fruitberries: im fruit, he/him, cello

Sylveey: oh theres a chat for this

Sylveey: im sylvee, she/her, keyboard three i think

Jojosolos: jojo, she/her. im the clarinetist because aimsey couldnt make the audition

Sylveey: jojo!!!!

Jojosolos: sylvee!!!

Antfrost: ant, he/him, keyboard four! 

BadBoyHalo: call me bad! he/him, keyboard two :D

Skeppy: skeppy, french horn 1

Sapnap: i thought u were percussion?

Skeppy: too many insuremtns 

Skeppy: i cnat play all of them

Technoblade: “insuremtns”

Skeppy: SHUT UP

Technoblade: your ability to spell amazes me.

Skeppy: SHTU

Technoblade: anyways, some business stuff. we’re missing a lot of parts, so ask around. if you know people who play the parts we’re missing, give them my email. we need two more french horns, two trumpets, a low brass player (preferably someone who can do trombone and tuba), another flute, another cello, and at least one more violin. we’re also going to need a percussionist but we might have to hire for that. i don’t know if anyone here plays all of the necessary instruments.

Hannah: got it

TinaKitten: aye aye captain!

Technoblade: that’s all. rehearsal this thursday and every thursday after that until tech week. a full schedule should be sent out within the next few weeks.

Antfrost: see yall on thursday!

---

COOL KIDS

Monday, 11:21 AM

Sapnap: guess whos got another guy simping on him

Illumina: dream?

Sapnap: bingo bongo

Illumina: lmao

Illumina: who is it this time

Sapnap: this guy named farfadox

Sapnap: hes new and transferred into our spanish class bc he speaks fluent spanish

Sapnap: our teacher put him next to dream and he spent the entirety of class hitting on dream

Sapnap: dream calls him el diablo for some reason

Dream: bc hes el diablo

Dream: farfi is really nice tho

Sapnap: farfi???

Dream: yeah

Illumina: this is, like, the tenth guy

Hannah: tenth? wow dream

Dream: im just hot i guess

Sapnap: dude im telling you, farfadox was flirting hard

Sapnap: does he know youre taken?

Dream: no but im sure hell find out soon enough

Dream: although

Dream: hold on ill brb

---

You should have paid me more, he said. You know, like a LIAR

Monday, 11:23 AM

Menace (/aff): punzieee

Menace (/aff):  whats ur opinion on another guy hitting on me

(My) traitor <3: who is it lmao

Menace (/aff): hes named farfadox

Menace (/aff): he moved up to my spanish class

Menace (/aff): he was flirting with me the whole time and i didnt tell him im taken but if you want me to then i will

Menace (/aff): i can tell him to lay off

(My) traitor <3: can you just tell him that youre taken?

(My) traitor <3: i dont mind him flirting but i dont want him to think that youre up for grabs, yknow?

Menace (/aff): yeah i know <3

(My) traitor <3: <3

(My) traitor <3: so looks like i have more competition, huh? 

Menace (/aff): what can i say, im just popular like that

(My) traitor <3: damn

(My) traitor <3: i gotta up my game

Menace (/aff): youre gonna get to fight wil for my affections during the musical, remember? you get to push him off the tower

Menace (/aff): or does he fall off?

(My) traitor <3: i think he falls off

(My) traitor <3: but im sure mr scott wont mind if i pretend to stab him a few times

Menace (/aff): i think he stabs you

(My) traitor <3: never

(My) traitor <3: ill stab him first

Menace (/aff): lmao okay

---

COOL KIDS

Monday, 7:25 PM

Ranboo: GUYS

Ranboo: WILBUR HAS TO KISS DREAM

Sapnap: LMAO???

Ranboo: punz is glaring rn

Ranboo: dream your suitors are fighting over you

Dream: skjadlkjalfj

Dream: its okay punzie

WilburSoot: i dont know how to feel about this

WilburSoot: on the one hand i get to kiss dream

WilburSoot: on the other hand punz is scary and i dont want to die

Sapnap: oh i hope i get a good seat in the pit

Sapnap: i want to see this go down

Technoblade: well, you’re not going to find out for two more months.

Sapnap: damn :/

Sapnap: we have rehearsal this thursday right

Technoblade: yes.

Sapnap: alright

Seapeekay: wilbur has to kiss dream? LMAO

Seapeekay: punz how are you feeling

Punz: is it against school code of conduct to challenge someone to a fistfight

WilburSoot: yes??

WilburSoot: please do not challenge me to a fistfight

WilburSoot: techno if they do youre fighting for me

Technoblade: nah.

WilburSoot: FCK

Punz: dont worry dude im just kidding

Punz: its fine

Punz: its a part of the play so its whatever

WilburSoot: oh thank god

Dream: we can kiss after punz

Dream: and make cal watch

Seapeekay: why

Dream: because suffer <3

Seapeekay: youre so mean to me

Dream: its bc youre british

Seapeekay: wow </3

Technoblade: hey, look on the bright side. at least you’re not canadian.

Technoblade: hm. guess he’s not online. 

Dream: lumi might be suffering with math homework

Technoblade: imagine.

Dream: okay i have to go back to focusing now before mr. scott yells

Dream: bye tech <3

Seapeekay: what about me 

Dream: you dont get a heart bc youre a british furry /lh /j

Dream: bye cal <3

Seapeekay: bye, have fun <3

---

COOL KIDS

Tuesday, 8:13 AM

Sam: hey does anyone know where punz is

Sam: they were supposed to meet me in the library but theres no one here

Dream: dont worry about punz :) 

Sam: ???

Sam: dream what did you do

Dream: nothing!

Sam: dream…

Sapnap: i can confirm dream actually hasnt done anything

Sapnap: punz is just being possessive

Sam: that explains nothing

Dream: hes not being possessive, cmon

Dream: theyre just defending my honor

Dream: my knight in shining armor <3

Sam: wait so what happened

Dream: nothing bad dw

Dream: one of kaceys friends passed me and made an insulting comment

Dream: so punz immediately started roasting her

Dream: oh now farfas here

Sam: whos farfa

Sapnap: the latest addition to dreams posse of suitors

Sam: another one??

Sapnap: yup

Sapnap has attached (1) file [image3.jpg]

Sam: lmao?

Sam: wait that height difference is actually really funny

Sam: how tall is he?

Sapnap: at least as tall as you

Sam: seriously?

Sapnap: yeah lol

Sapnap: hes 6’7 at least

Sapnap: but then again dream is just short

Dream: okay shortnap

Sapnap: :( 

Sam: tell punz to meet me in the library dream

Dream: well i would

Dream: but now theyre talking with farfa

Sam: dream are your suitors fighting over you again

Dream: nah theyre just talking

Dream: well maybe theyre pretend fighting but farfa knows im taken and punz knows that im his so it should be all good

Dream: im just enjoying being the damsel in distress tbh

Sapnap: disney princess arc

Dream: im always on my disney princess arc

Dream: okay punz and i are coming now

Sam: okay lol

---

COOL KIDS

Tuesday, 11:45 AM

Technoblade: i don’t know who this farfa guy is. but someone inform him that if he does anything to dream i’m coming for him.

Illumina: *shivers*

Illumina: all the dream simps live in fear of techno

Tina: technos that one aroace friend whos there for emotional support

Technoblade: dream is a homeless teletubbie and he’s annoying as hell but if you hurt him i’m stabbing you.

Illumina: thats practically an “i love you” coming from you

Sapnap: maybe techno is the biggest dream simp of all

Technoblade: i’m going to punch you.

Sapnap: ok iM SORRY IM SORRY

Technoblade: too late.

Sapnap: NDSOFNIELKFLD

Chapter Text

COOL KIDS

Thursday, 7:31 PM

Hannah: so rehearsals going well

Hannah has attached (1) file [image4.jpg]

Phil: wtf

Phil: what are they doing

Hannah: so punz got his stress ball stuck on the ceiling?

Hannah: and now dream and sam are trying to get it down

Phil: oh god

Phil: tell dream to get off sams back that does not look safe

Hannah: okay

Hannah: dream and techno both say “shut up grandpa”

Phil: IM NOT OLD

Phil: why are you guys even in the band room

Phil: shouldnt you be rehearsing

Hannah: both cast and pit got a fifteen minute break so we decided to invade the band room

Phil: … i see

Phil: please get dream off i really dont think thats safe

Hannah: ill try lol

---

“Dream, Phil says you really should get down.”

Hooking his chin over Sam’s shoulder, Dream smirks down at Hannah. “Nah. I’m comfy here.”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re so stubborn, oh my god. It’s like trying to get a cat down from a tree.”

Dream hums, squeezing Sam’s neck tighter. Sam shifts his grip on Dream’s legs and crouches down a little. “You want to try again?”

“Please don’t,” Tina calls. “Phil’s right- it really isn’t safe. I don’t want you to fall, Dream.”

“I’m fine, Tina,” Dream grumbles, but he reluctantly slips off of Sam’s back. They weren’t going to be able to get the ball off of the ceiling anyways- as tall as Sam is, the band room ceiling is just too high. 

“So is my ball just stuck up there?” Punz asks, staring up at it.

“It’ll fall eventually, right?” Hannah replies as George snaps a photo of the ball. “It’s gotta come down at some point.”

“Is there a long stick somewhere?” Sam asks. “Oh- Techno or Sapnap, can we use your bow?”

Sapnap passes his bow over; Sam clambers onto a chair and stretches his arm up. Using the tip of the bow, he gently knocks the ball down from the ceiling.

“Yes! Thank you, Sam!” Punz picks up their stress ball and shoves it into their hoodie pocket. He drapes an arm over Dream’s shoulders, and Dream easily snuggles into his boyfriend’s side.

A glance at his phone tells him that they have around ten minutes left in the break. Mr. Sparklez has left, and Mr. Scott is nowhere to be seen; apparently they’d decided to trust the cast and pit to behave. A poor choice, Dream muses, watching as Skeppy chases Bad around with a marimba mallet. Illumina is scrolling on his phone with a reed clamped between his lips; Tommy and Tubbo are sitting on Ranboo; Fundy is curled up on one of the keyboard benches and sleeping. Most of the cast people had left to go get water, but Wilbur is still here, sitting next to Techno. By the look on Techno’s face, Dream can only guess that the words coming out of Wilbur’s mouth are far from savory.

He turns to Punz and tugs on their hoodie sleeve. “Come on, Punzie, let’s sit down.” There’s a few chairs open, and he’d rather not stand around for the remaining ten minutes of the break.

He and Punz claim two open chairs in between Illumina and Techno. Techno mostly ignores them, still deep in conversation with Wilbur, but Illumina takes his reed out of his mouth and flashes them a smile. “Hey.”

“I’m gonna be honest, I thought that was a cigarette when I came in,” Punz admits, gesturing to the oboe reed.

Illumina grins sheepishly. “I’ve gotten that before. So how was rehearsal?”

“We’re just singing so far,” Dream replies, leaning his head against Punz’s shoulder. “Learning the songs and stuff. But I think we’ll be learning lines soon.”

“When do you get the Beast costume?” Illumina asks Punz.

Punz shudders. “I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. I looked one up online and it was horrifying.”

“That’s what you get for auditioning for the Beast,” Wilbur calls over Techno’s head. “I get to wear the outfit of toxic masculinity. Speaking of which-” Wilbur jumps to his feet and extends a hand to Dream, grinning. “Want to practice?”

Dream laughs and takes Wilbur’s hand. He’s pulled closer by the brunette, who begins singing in his rich tenor. “ You’ve been dreaming just one dream …” As Wilbur sings, he grabs Dream by the arm and begins twirling him around the room.

“Alright, hands off my boyfriend,” Punz growls, but there’s a smile on his face as he grabs Dream back. Laughing, Dream leans against Punz and watches as Wilbur gathers his face into a sneer.

“You’ll pay for that, Beast!” he yells theatrically.

“Never!” Punz cries in the same dramatic tone.

“This is gay,” Tommy comments from over near the instrument room, where he’s sitting on top of Ranboo still.

“Now fight to the death,” Illumina calls.

Techno, who’s watching with a mixture of exasperation and amusement, shakes his head. “Nah, bro. If they fight, I don’t know if Wilbur will make it out alive.”

“Techno!” Wilbur whines.

“Wilbur,” Techno replies, eyebrows lifted. 

Wilbur huffs and crosses his arms. “I could beat Punz,” he grumbles.

“Sure, bud.” Punz wraps both arms around Dream from behind and rests their chin in Dream’s hair. “If I fight him, you would root for me, right?” they whisper.

Dream laughs again. “Sure, Punz.”

“You’re just jealous,” Wilbur says, sauntering over again. He’d opened a pack of gummies and is munching on them as he talks. “Gaston is roughly the size of a barge, and you’re not.”

“Watch it, Soot,” Punz snaps playfully. “I could beat you the hell up.”

“Save it for rehearsal, you two, geez.” Hannah comes up to them, water bottle in hand. “You can beat each other up when we rehearse that scene. Also, Wilbur, you should probably refill your water bottle. I accidentally knocked it over and there was no water inside.”

“Sh*t-” Wilbur scrambles away to go refill his water bottle, and Hannah heads back over to Sylvee- which leaves Dream and Punz standing alone in the middle of the band room floor. Comfortable as it is, Dream would rather be sitting, so he guides Punz back to the chairs. They sit down again, and Punz drapes his arm back over Dream’s shoulder, the weight warm and reassuring.

Dream eyes Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo, who are now wrestling on the floor, before deciding that it’s not worth the effort to try and get them to stop. Bad and Skeppy have stopped their game of chase and are now talking near the drumset, so other than the three sophomores, it’s relatively peaceful. Everyone is mostly just talking quietly- except for Techno, who’s (predictably) playing Tchaikovsky’s violin concerto.

With a soft sigh, Dream rests his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “We should practice dancing together sometime,” he murmurs. “For the show.”

Punz hums and presses his lips to Dream’s forehead. “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m actually kind of excited for the dancing scene.”

“You big sap,” Dream teases. “I’m totally telling- Lumi, why are you playing Beauty and the Beast?”

Illumina takes his reed out of his mouth. “What? You guys don’t want a nice, romantic song to waltz to? I’m just being a good friend and providing background music-”

“I’m gonna punch you,” Punz growls playfully.

“No, no, keep goin’,” Techno calls, switching to Beauty and the Beast as well. “I wanna see Dream dance and make a fool of himself.”

“Excuse you, I can dance perfectly fine,” Dream snaps, tilting his chin up. “Come on, Punz.” Without waiting for an answer, he seizes his boyfriend by the wrist and pulls Punz to his feet. Dream clasps their hands together and, with a look shot over his shoulder at Techno, begins to slowly waltz with Punz.

“Oh, are we watching Dream and Punz dance?” Bad gasps. He’d managed to escape Skeppy’s affections, and now he too joins in on the keyboard. “Guys, come on!”

“I didn’t agree to this,” Punz grumbles, but they make no move to pull away. Giggling, Dream tightens his grip on their hands and continues to yank them across the room in an awkward- but passable- waltz.

In true band fashion, the rest of the pit slowly begins to join Techno, Illumina, and Bad in playing- first Fruit, then Sapnap and Hannah, then Tina and Jojo- although Tina is struggling to play through her laughter. Dream spots the three sophomores watching out of the corner of his eye, their expressions ranging from encouraging (Tubbo) to mildly disgusted (Tommy). It only makes him laugh harder as he nearly trips over Punz’s feet. “Punzie-!”

“I told you I don’t know how to dance,” Punz yelps as he rights himself. 

“You’re doing great, Punz,” Sam calls from where he’s leaning against his bass and trying to stifle his laughter.

“I hate you guys.” Punz finally drops Dream’s hands. “Sorry, babe, but I can’t dance.”

“Aww.” Dream pouts but reluctantly presses himself back into Punz’s side. “Okay.”

“Ew, get a room!” Tommy calls. Punz flips him the middle finger, and he shrieks with outrage.

At that exact moment, Captain Sparklez walks in. He takes one look at Dream and Punz, still poised in the middle of the floor; the sophomores sprawled on the ground; Illumina with his reed in his mouth, looking hilariously like a startled gerbil; George trying to balance his drumsticks on top of each other; and shakes his head. “What have you guys been doing?”

“Absolutely nothin’,” Techno says, lowering his violin. “Nothin’ at all.”

Dream giggles. “Yep, nothing.”

Captain shakes his head, looking exasperated. “Alright, well, three more minutes left in the break. Cast, you might want to start heading back.”

“By the way,” Punz whispers in Dream’s ear, “I still want to learn how to dance. And you still can’t tell anyone.”

Laughing, Dream wraps his arms around Punz’s waist and squeezes.

“Sure, Punzie. Sure.”

---

piss

Thursday, 9:29 PM

Dre: helloooo

Seapeepeekay: hey

Seapeepeekay: did u finish with rehearsal?

Dre: yup

Dre: were going to spend one more day with the songs and then were gonna move onto script and movement stuff

Seapeepeekay: nice

Seapeepeekay: are you home yet

Dre: not yet

Dre: punz is driving me

Seapeepeekay: aww what a good boyfriend

Dre: mhm!

Dre: hes very sweet

Seapeepeekay: hes only ever sweet with you lol

Seapeepeekay: otherwise hes roasting sapnap or being an idiot

Dre: he is fond of that too

Dre: do u wanna see a video of us dancing

Seapeepeekay: no /lh /j

Dre has attached (1) file [video.mp4]

Seapeepeekay: is the pit playing music for you guys lmao

Dre: yep

Seapeepeekay: incredible

Dre: yep lol 

Dre: do you wanna go to the mall with us tomorrow?

Seapeepeekay: what, and third wheel you two? /lh

Dre: i did say that i would kiss punz and make you watch :) 

Seapeepeekay: ah yes, i remember that

Dre: no but seriously

Dre: u can invite whomever  

Dre: i talked to punz and they said it was okay

Seapeepeekay: alright

Seapeepeekay: mind if i ask h?

Dre: sure!

Seapeepeekay: cool

Seapeepeekay: see ya tomorrow then :) 

Dre: <3

---

piss 

Friday, 8:15 AM

Dre: so actually its just gonna be us

Dre: punzie forgot that he had an essay to write smh

Seapeepeekay: what an L

Seapeepeekay: h cant come either 

Seapeepeekay: so just us

Dre: thats fine too <3

Seapeepeekay: <3 

---

COOL KIDS

Friday, 10:57 AM

Sapnap: where is everyone im bored

Dream: arent you in math sap

Sapnap: YES

Sapnap: ITS BORING

Dream: lmao L

Technoblade: imagine being in math, couldn’t be me. what a massive L.

Sapnap: do you two have a free period rn

Dream: ye

Dream: im in the senior lounge

Dream: techs in the library?

Technoblade: yes. essay. 

Dream: rip

Dream: anyways im just here chilling with farfa and jojo

Sapnap: since when do you talk with jojo?

Dream: since last night after rehearsal when we were waiting outside together and i found out that shes fcking great

Dream: shes cracked at clarinet and shes fluent in spanish

Dream: very cool

Dream: downside is that now she and farfa are talking to each other in spanish and i dont understand most of it

Dream: i just realized why do i have so many bilingual friends

Sapnap: do you?

Dream: well yeah

Dream: jojo

Dream: benni

Dream: you speak greek

Sapnap: barely

Dream: im counting it

Dream: tech knows latin and asl although so do i

Dream: and lumi speaks canadian

Technoblade: that’s my favorite language.

Illumina: i do indeed speak canadian

Technoblade: as well as idiot, it appears, seeing as how i just watched you try to go into the teacher’s lounge instead of the bathroom.

Illumina: how tf

Technoblade: look to your left.

Illumina: huh

Illumina: why are u just staring at me from the library

Technoblade: it’s like watching a documentary.

Dream: witness the wild illumina in its natural habitat

Illumina: wtf

Dream: lmao

Dream: love u lumi <3

Illumina: im not a wild animal

Dream: ur a cat

Dream: meow

Illumina: no

Dream: meow :3 

Technoblade: never, and i mean never, use that emoticon again.

Dream: :3 :3 :3 

Technoblade: that’s it. i’m coming to the senior lounge.

Dream: to cuddle?

Technoblade: no, to smack you.

Dream: but D: 

Punz: no smacking my bf

Punz: back off techno

Dream: yes, my knight in shining armor <333

Technoblade: you underestimate me.

Technoblade: lucky for you, i’m too lazy to actually get up.

Dream: lumi will you come cuddle me

Illumina: i cant, i gotta get back to class

Dream: :( 

Dream: okay @Seapeekay will u cuddle me

Seapeekay: yknow what sure

Dream: yey :D 

Dream: see guys be more like cal

Technoblade: i don’t want to be a furry.

Seapeekay: HEY

---

anime rivals uwu

Friday, 2:45 PM

Baconstrips: hey. nerd. 

Baconstrips: are you free a week from now.

Baconstrips: at six pm.

Homeless teletubbie (L): i think so? why 

Baconstrips: we need a cellist. fruit was going to play the cello solo in one of our pieces but as it turns out, he can’t make it on friday, which is the day of the concert, and the other cellists are cowards.

Homeless teletubbie (L): ah

Homeless teletubbie (L): yeah i can

Homeless teletubbie (L): gimme music

Baconstrips: emailing it to you right now.

Homeless teletubbie (L): k

Baconstrips: there’s a rehearsal next tuesday. you can be there, right?

Homeless teletubbie (L): ye cast rehearsals on monday

Baconstrips: good.

Baconstrips: thank you for agreeing.

Baconstrips: <3

Homeless teletubbie (L): AWWW 

Homeless teletubbie (L): its no problem tech <3

Baconstrips: <3

---

COOL KIDS

Friday, 3:16 PM

Dream: hey guys i got a new fit, check it

Dream has attached (1) file [image5.jpg]

Technoblade: nice boots.

Niki: omg i love the skirt!! it looks so good on you!!

Dream: thank youuu :D 

Niki: are you at the mall?

Dream: yeah

Dream: me and cal are shopping

Dream: he got himself a new phone case

Dream: and i grabbed this outfit

Illumina: you look cute <3

Dream: <3

Dream: wheres punzie i need his opinion

Dream: @Punz   

Punz: what

Punz: oh

Punz: damn you look hot

Dream: LMAO

Dream: thanks ;)

Technoblade: no flirting in my christian minecraft server.

Illumina: lmao??

Dream: i will flirt with whoever i want to flirt with /hj

Technoblade: i will kick you from this chat.

Technoblade: and it’s whomever.

Dream: shut up bacon

Technoblade: silence, homeless teletubbie.

Dream: SHUT UP

Technoblade: L. imagine being homeless, cringe.

Dream: heart been broke so many times :( 

Technoblade: suffer. we all do.

Dream: :( 

Dream: u still love me tho right

Technoblade: perhaps.

Dream: :(((((( 

Technoblade: fine, yes. i do.

Illumina: dont mind me just gonna take a ss for blackmail purposes

Technoblade: i’m afraid your free trial of living has expired.

Punz: oh damn

Illumina: no wait i take it back

Illumina: techno pls

Illumina: techno??

Illumina: oh god

Dream: rip lmao

Chapter Text

piss 

Tuesday, 7:21 AM

Dre: hi

Dre: can u pick me up this morning

Dre: i forgot my parents had to leave for work early

Seapeepeekay: yeah sure

Seapeepeekay: do u wanna swing by starbucks before we go to school

Dre: um yes??

Dre: is that even a question

Seapeepeekay: lmao okay

Seapeepeekay: be there in ten

Dre: thank u youre the best

---

COOL KIDS

Tuesday, 7:49 AM

Dream: good morning children

Dream: whos ready for another riveting day of school

Illumina: not me!

Illumina: im exhausted

Dream: lmao mood

Niki: would cookies help?

Niki: i made a batch last night and i’m more than willing to share!

Technoblade: niki, you are officially the best person in this chat.

Niki: haha <3

Niki: i can hand them out at lunch, or you guys can come to the cafeteria

Niki: im there with puffy and hannah

Dream: i gotta drop off my cello but ill be there in a few minutes

Dream: techhhh will you walk with me

Technoblade: why?

Dream: because i wanna talk to you :( 

Dream: also i dont know where the cellos go

Technoblade: fine. i’m coming.

Illumina: niki can i have a cookie

Niki: everyone can have a cookie! i made plenty

Seapeekay: are we all just convening in the cafeteria for cookies then

Seapeekay: im with dream rn but i want some too

Niki: yeah sure! everyone can come get one :) 

Illumina: pog

Tina: omg thank you niki!!! <3 

Tina: also dream i didnt know that you play cello :0 

Dream: yep lmao

Dream: im ~multitalented~

Dream: i was cello one in pit last year actually lol

Tina: really? wow 

Tina: i wasnt in pit last year haha

Dream: well now you get the pit experience :) 

Dream: i miss pit tbh

Dream: i was a pit kid before i was a theater kid

Dream: but i like being belle too :) 

Technoblade: cringe.

Dream: shut up bacon

Technoblade: imagine being a theater kid. massive L. 

Dream: heart been broke so many times :( 

Punz: how dare you make him sad

Technoblade: i’m his queerplatonic partner. i reserve the right to bully him as much as i want.

Technoblade: that being said. you do sound very good as belle. i’m happy that you got in.

Dream: <3

Dream: come walk to strings with meeeee

Technoblade: i’m on the way.

Dream: yayy

Dream: on a side note, tech, sam, sap and and i will be at the library later studying

Dream: if anyone wants to come join

Tina: dont you guys have the orchestra rehearsal?

Dream: yeah its like. two hours after school

Dream: not worth going home

Tina: ah

Illumina: i have skating :( 

Dream: rip

Dream: we should figure out ur routine sometime

Dream: its in, what, three months?

Illumina: yeah

Seapeekay: why are you having a figure skating show in june??

Illumina: i dont know

Illumina: but we wanna do something cool

Seapeekay: whos we

Illumina: me dream and techno

Technoblade: is this the thing you asked me about?

Illumina: yeah

Technoblade: i see.

Technoblade: was it necessary to text me and dream about it at three in the morning?

Illumina: no but in my defense i was excited

Technoblade: i see.

Technoblade: okay, dream is now trying to jump on my back, so i’m going to go now.

Illumina: lmao bye

Tina: should i be worried

Illumina: nah theyll be fine

Illumina: techno is used to this

Tina: how did techno and dream meet?

Dream: thats a story for another time :) 

Illumina: wtf i thought you were walking to strings

Dream: i never said i was walking

Illumina: are you on cpks back again

Dream: i am on his back again

Illumina: why am i surprised

Dream: :) 

Phil: jesus christ

Phil: seapeekay deserves a nobel peace prize for putting up with dream

Illumina: what about me

Illumina: he steals my clothes

Technoblade: he texts me at two in the morning with random questions. you’re not special.

Punz: he does both of those with me, so neither of you are special

Sapnap: well guess what, he does all those things with me AND he likes me the best

Sapnap: so ha

Punz: im literally his boyfriend

Sapnap: and im his bestie

Sapnap: @Dream u like me the best right

Dream: sure sap

Sapnap: SEE

Tina: well i think you guys should appreciate dreams gifts more /lh

Dream: see tina gets it

Tina: :D 

Technoblade: they’re gifts in the sense that a dead mouse that your cat killed and dropped on your doorstep is a gift.

Dream: HEY

---

COOL KIDS

Tuesday, 5:02 PM

Sapnap: ALRIGHT WHO DID IT

Hannah: did what???

Sapnap: someone BROKE INTO THE FCKNG STRINGS ROOM AND BROKE DREAMS CELLO BOW

Hannah: wtf??

Big Man Tommy: WHAT THE HELL

Big Man Tommy: WHO DID IT

Big Man Tommy: I WILL CHOP UR BALLS OFF

Tina: oh my god thats so horrible what

Tina: is dream okay??

Sapnap: no

Sapnap: thanks to WHOEVER DID THIS

Hannah: who tf would break a cello bow on purpose?

Big Man Tommy: not just a cello bow

Big Man Tommy: his grandma gave that cello to him

Big Man Tommy: he told me so

Hannah: WTFFFF

Tina: this is so awful

Technoblade: sapnap, there’s a spare pair of headphones and a pig plush in my bag. you can get them out and give them to dream if he’s panicking. i’ll be back in two minutes.

Sapnap: o7

Tina: pls tell dream im so sorry :( 

Hannah: ^

---

This is our get along chat

Tuesday, 5:07 PM

Tomathy: BIG D I WILL PUNCH WHOEVER DID IT FOR YOU

Big D: heh

Big D: its okay, toms

Big D: but thank you <3

Tomathy: how are u big d

Big D: better

Big D: got to cuddle with sap and techno so thats nice

Tomathy: ew

Tomathy: cringe

Big D: okay child

Tomathy: WTF

Big D: lmao

Tomathy: i hope you fall out of your chair big d

Tomathy: you suck

Big D: okay tomathy

Tomathy: I AHTE YOU

Big D: nice spelling

Big D: okay i have to go find a new bow now

Big D: bye toms

Tomathy: bye

Tomathy: if you find whoever did it i can punch them for you

Big D: lmao thanks

Big D: ill keep that in mind <3

---

You should have paid me more, he said. You know, like a LIAR

Tuesday, 5:11 PM

(My) traitor <3: babe are you alright?

(My) traitor <3: i heard what happened

Menace (/aff): fine, just

Menace (/aff): upset

Menace (/aff): i can fix it but its gonna cost money and yeah

Menace (/aff): i guess im just glad it wasnt the cello itself

(My) traitor <3: you have every right to be upset, baby

(My) traitor <3: you dont have to pretend like youre fine if youre not

(My) traitor <3: do you want me to pick you up after rehearsal? and we can go get ice cream or smthn

Menace (/aff): yeah

Menace (/aff): id really like that <3

(My) traitor <3: <3

(My) traitor <3: have you eaten yet

Menace (/aff): kind of? fruit brought a big ass box of snacks for some reason so i had some chips

(My) traitor <3: okay well are you gonna have dinner after rehearsal

Menace (/aff): tbh i have no clue

Menace (/aff): my mom says theres a leftover burrito in the fridge but tbh i might just make my own food. im not in the mood for a burrito

(My) traitor <3: dont

(My) traitor <3: we can get food together

(My) traitor <3: and then ill take you home

Menace (/aff): okay that works too

Menace (/aff): thanks babe <3

(My) traitor <3: <3

---

COOL KIDS

Tuesday, 8:31 PM

Dream: watching my boyfriend trying to subtly glare at a guy across the diner is very funny

Seapeekay: lmao what

Dream: punz and i are at a diner

Dream: and theyre glaring at this guy whos sitting across the room

Dream: i think this person is on a rival football team

Seapeekay: damn okay

Dream: theyre giving each other bombastic side eyes

Dream: its very funny

Dream: OH MY GOD THEY JUST BOTH GOT UP TO THROW AWAY THEIR TRASH AT THE SAME TIME

Dream: AND NOW THEYRE TALKING SFKDSLKDFJ

Seapeekay: incredible

Dream: hold on im gonna get closer so i can hear their conversation

Dream: okay so theyre just talking abt football and subtly roasting each other rn

Seapeekay: do they know each other or… ?

Dream: yeah this guy is the captain of another high schools football team

Dream: he and punzie have beef i think

Dream: hes also an ass from what ive heard but i could be wrong about that

Illumina: are they just duking their rivalry out in the middle of a diner

Illumina: whats even their beef anyways

Dream: idk lmao

Dream: i think theres a reason but also it could be bc his team beat ours a few times

Dream: and my boyfriend is a sweaty competitive sore loser jock /j

Illumina: i was gonna say

Illumina: punz is the least jock-y jock ive ever met

Seapeekay: what does that mean lmao

Illumina: well if were going by stereotypes then punz is not a jock at all

Illumina: theyre a weeb (/lh)

Illumina: and they simp for their boyfriend

Dream: and whats wrong with simping on me

Illumina: nothing simping on you is based

Dream: <3

Dream: akfdjalkdsfj

Illumina: drizzle?

Seapeekay: you good bro?

Dream: hypothetically what do you do if ur boyfriend calls you sexy in the middle of a diner

Seapeekay: i

Seapeekay: how did this happen???

Dream: ID ONT WKNO

Illumina: why is this happening in a diner of all places

Dream:  IDONTKELS FKLDSJ

Dream: THE GUY IS LOOKGIN AT ME NOW

Illumina: um

Illumina: drizzle?

Seapeekay: is he dead

Illumina: might be

Dream: dreams not dead -punz

Seapeekay: why do u have his phone

Dream: hes currently hiding his face in my shoulder and eating my fries so i took his phone

Illumina: arent you squaring up against ur football rival rn

Dream: i was but he left

Dream: thank fcking god i hate that guy

Seapeekay: whatd he do

Seapeekay: and whyd you call dream sexy lmao

Dream: its a long story

Dream: basically he was gloating how he got a gf so i told him my boyfriend is sexier than hell ever be

Illumina: incredible

Dream: and i dont like him cause hes a jerk and is lowkey homophobic so