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Chapter Text

The scene opens on a dock. Behind the dock is a lake and the great wide wilderness.

“Yo!” says a man popping up to the camera, “We’re coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka Ontario! I’m your host, Chris McLean, dropping Season One of the hottest new Reality Show on Television, right now!”

Chris begins walking down the dock, “Here’s the deal,” he said, “22 campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp. They’ll compete in challenges against each other, then have to face the judgement of their fellow campers. Every three days, one team will either win a reward or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the Boat of Losers, and leave Total Drama Island for good.”

Cut to a campfire area, where Chris resumed talking, “Their fates will be decided here, at the Dramatic Campfire Ceremony, where after each challenge, all but one camper on the losing team will receive a marshmallow.”, he said before eating one and tossing away a fire poker.

“In the end, only one Camper will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame, and a small fortune of $100,000, which lets face it, they’ll probably blow in a week. To survive, they’ll have to battle black flies, grizzly bears, disgusting camp food, and each other. Every moment will be caught on one of the hundred of cameras situated all over the camp. Who will win? And who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here, right now, on Total! Drama! Island!”

-Theme song- (If you’re wondering it wouldn’t be any different from the original) 

Cut back to Chris on the dock, “Welcome back to Total Drama Island. Alright, it’s time to meet our 22 campers. We told them they’d all be staying at this five star resort, so if they seem a little ticked off, that’s probably why.”

Cut to a boat driving away, with a short girl with braces and a side ponytail now standing on the dock.

“Beth, what’s up?” Chris asked as she ran over and hugged him.

“It’s so incredulous to meet you! Wow, you’re much shorter in real life.” she said before waving to the camera.

“Uhhh… thanks.” Chris replies.

Cut to another boat driving away, where a man with a beard and green shirt is now standing on the dock with his luggage.

“DJ!” Chris said as he walked up to him.

“Yo, Chris McLean! How’s it going?” DJ asked, “Hey, you sure you got the right place here? Where’s the hot tub at?”

“Yo dawg, this is it! Camp Wawanakwa!” Chris replied as DJ walks to the end of the dock.

“Hmm, looked a lot different on the application form.” DJ mumbled to himself.

Cut to a goth girl in black and blue now standing on the pier with her luggage.

“Hey, Gwen.” Chris says.

Gwen looked around, “You mean we’re staying here!?” she asked.

“No, you’re staying here.” Chris replied, “My crib is an airstream with AC, thatta way.”

“I did not sign up for this!” Gwen said angrily.

“Actually, you did.” Chris said while holding up her contract. Gwen in response tore it up and dropped the pieces into the lake.

“The great thing about lawyers is, they make lots of copies.” Chris said as he pulled out another copy of the contract.

“I am not staying here.” Gwen said as she picked up her bags.

“Cool, I hope you can swim though.” cut to Gwen’s boat driving away, “‘Cuz your ride just left.”

“Jerk.”

Cut to another boat pulling up, with a man in a cowboy hat and pink shirt dancing atop it, before flipping off and having his luggage tossed to him.

“Chris McLean! Sup, man! It’s an honor to meet you, man!” he said.

“The Geoff-ster! Welcome to the Island, man!” Chris replied.

“Thanks, man.” Geoff said before walking to join the other three contestants.

“If they say man one more time, I’m gonna puke.” Gwen said bitterly to DJ and Beth.

Cut to another boat driving away, leaving a blonde woman in a brown tank top and blue bandanna on the dock.

“Everybody, this is Lindsay.” Chris stated as the camera pans up on her. “Not too shabby.”

“Hi! Okay, you look so familiar.” Lindsay said.

“I’m Chris McLean.” he responded, but Lindsay still looks confused, “The host? Of the show? That you’re on?”

“Oh that’s where I know you from!” she responded.

“Uhhh… yeah.”

Cut to another boat driving away as a woman with black hair and a red crop top steps onto the dock. She took off her sunglasses and glares at the camera.

“Heather.” Chris said as she walked past him.

Beth rushed up to her and said, “Hi! Looks like we’re your new friends for the next eight weeks!”, accidentally getting spittle on her, causing Heather to flinch back in disgust.

Everyone heard punk rock music in the distance as another boat drove up to the shore, carrying a man with a green Mohawk, skull shirt, and several face piercings.

“Duncan! Dude!” Chris said as he hopped off the boat.

“I don’t like surprises, McLean.” Duncan said while making a fist.

“Yeah, your parole officer warned me about that, man. He also told me to give him a holler anytime and have you returned to juvie.”

“Tch, okay then.” Duncan said as he walks down the dock and passes by Heather, “Meet ya by the campfire, gorgeous.”

“Drop dead, you skeez,” she replied.

Heather walked towards the end of the dock and said, “I’m calling my parents, you cannot make me stay here.” Chris just pulled up another contract at this statement.

A boat’s horns went off as it passed by, with a man in a red tracksuit and headband waterskiing behind it.

“Ladies and gentlemen, Tyler!” Chris said. Tyler waved, but in doing so fell off of his waterskis and rolled toward the docks, before hitting them and getting launched in the air, landing in the pile of luggage with an “Ow!”, as everyone looked on. One of the bags from the pile went flying into the water and splashed Heather.

“Uugghh! My shoes!” she said.

“Wicked wipeout man!” Chris yelled to Tyler. Tyler stuck his hand out and gives everyone a thumbs up at this.

Chris laughed at Tyler’s wipeout while another boat pulled up and dropped off a man with red hair and glasses, who sighed.

“Welcome to camp, Harold.” Chris said. Harold looked around.

“What’s he looking at?” Beth asked DJ.

“So you mean this show is at a crappy summer camp and not on some big stage or something?” Harold asked Chris.

“You got it, man.” he responded.

“Yes!”, Harold said, “That is so much more favorable to my mad skills!” Chris flinched back as Harold walked past.

“Contestant number ten is Trent!”, Chris said as a man with a green shirt and a guitar case stepped onto the dock.

“Hey, good to meet you man. Saw you on that figure skating show, nice work.” Trent said while fist-bumping Chris.

“Hey thanks man, I knew I rocked that show!” Chris responded.

“I saw that!” Beth said, “One of the guys, Jacques, dropped his partner Josee on her head! So they got immunity that week.”

“Lucky!” Harold responded, “I hope I get dropped on my head.”

“Me too!” Lindsay said.

“So, this is it?” Trent asked Chris, as he looked at the other contestants, “…Alrighty then.”

Trent walked over and stood next to Gwen, and gave her smile. Though initially hesitant, she smiled back.

Cut to another boat, as a blonde girl with a surfboard and a blue hoodie stepped off, “Hey, what’s up?”, she asked.

“Alright, looks like Bridgette is here.” Chris said.

“Tch, nice board.”, Duncan said to her, “This isn’t Malibu, honey.”

“I thought we were gonna be on a beach?” She responded.

“We are!” Chris said, as the camera cut to a small beach covered in trash, complete with a Seagull with trash around its neck.

“…great.” she responded.

“Alright, that makes eleven!” Chris said as Bridgette bent down to pick up her bag, causing her board to hit Chris in the head, “Ow! Darn it! That hurts!”

“Hey guys.” Bridgette said as she passed Duncan, Geoff, Harold, and Trent.

“Hey, I’m Geoff!” the fellow surfer said as she passes him, causing her to turn around and almost hit the other guys on the head.

“What’s up?”, she asked.

“Dang, watch the board man!” Harold said.

“Hi! I’m Beth!” she said to Bridgette, causing her to turn around and almost hit everyone again.

“Hey.”

“Okay, we’ve all met surfer girl, can we get on with the show please?” Heather said while drying her hair.

“Looks like someone missed their cappuccino this morning.” Duncan said to her.

“Get bent.”

Another boat drove away as a man in a red and blue shirt and brown hair stepped off and walked towards Chris, “Our next campers is Noah.” he said.

“You got my memo about my life threatening allergies?” Noah asked Chris as he walked by.

“I’m sure someone did.”

“Good, is this where we’re staying?”

“No, it’s your mother’s house. And we’re throwing a party.” Duncan said while cracking his knuckles.

“Cute. Nice piercings original, do them yourself?” he asked sarcastically.

“Yeah, you want one!?” he replied while grabbing Noah’s bottom lip and pulling out a needle.

“No thanks, can I have my lip back please?” Noah said as Duncan lets go, “Thanks.”

Cut to another boat with a woman with a black ponytail and a shirt with cumquats on it.

“What’s up y’all, Leshawna’s in the house!” she said, while Harold gasped at seeing her.

“Yo, baby! Hey, how’s it going?” she said to Chris while high-fiving him, “Feel free to quit now and save yourself the trouble, ‘cause I came to win!”

Harold looked over to her and said, “I’ve never seen a girl like you in real life before.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re real big. And loud.”

“What did you say to me!? Oh no you didn’t! You have not seen anything yet! I’ll show you big, baby!” she said while walking over to Harold before DJ and Bridgette hold her back while Harold did random karate motions, “Oh yeah, you want some of this? Well c’mon, then!”

“Alright campers, settle down!” Chris yelled to them. Leshawna walks away while Harold gives her a smile, showing that he meant what he said as a compliment.

Another boat drove off as two women stepped onto the dock, both wearing a black and white tank top and pink shorts.

“Katie. Sadie. Welcome to your new home for eight weeks.” Chris said to them as the camera focused on the nearby cabins.

“Oh my gosh, Sadie look! It’s a summer camp!” Katie said while pointing to the cabins.

“Okay, I always wanted to go to summer camp! Eeeee!” Sadie replied as the duo took their places amongst the other campers.

Another boat drove by, and a man with a toque and green hoodie stepped off.

“Ezekiel! What’s up, man?” Chris asked him.

Ezekiel looked up and said, “I think I see a bird.”, which Trent laughed at.

“Okay, look dude.”, Chris said while putting a hand on Ezekiel’s shoulder, “I know you don’t get out much. Been homeschooled your whole life, raised by freaky prairie people, just don’t say much and try not to get kicked off too early, okay?”

“Yes, sir!” Ezekiel replied while walking over to the other contestants.

“That’s just… wow.” Gwen said in response.

Another boat drove by and a short guy with brown hair and a green and red striped shirt stepped onto the dock.

“Cody! The Codester! The Codemeister!” Chris said while high-fiving him.

“Dude, psyched to be here man.” Cody said while walking down the dock, “I see the ladies have already arrived! Alright!”

He tried to say something to Leshawna, but he shushed him and said, “Save it, short stuff.”

The next boat drove off and a strong woman with a black ponytail steps off.

“Eva. Nice. Glad you could make it.” Chris said as she walked by. Cody tried to give Eva a high five, but was ignored as her bag was dropped onto his foot.

“Ow!”, he said while grabbing his foot, “What’s in there? Dumbbells?”

“Yes.” she responded.

“She’s all yours, man.” Duncan said to DJ.

As the next boat drove off, a man with blonde hair and a shirt with a maple leaf hopped onto the dock.

“Woohoo! Chris! What’s happening!?” he said before laughing, “This is awesome! Waaaa-hoo!”

“Owen! Welcome!” Chris responded.

Owen picked up Chris and hugs him, “Awesome to be here, man! Yeah! Man, this is just so….”

“Awesome?” Gwen sarcastically said.

“Yes! Awesome! Woooo! Are you gonna be on my team?” Owen asked.

“Oh, I sure hope so.” Gwen sarcastically responded.

“Woooo!”

“You about finished?” Chris asked Owen as he put him down.

“Sorry dude, I’m just so psyched!”

“Cool.” Chris responded, “And here comes Courtney!”

A boat drove up with a woman with brown hair with a grey shirt, who then waved and stepped off the boat.

“Hi! You must be the other contestants, it’s really nice to meet you all.” Courtney said to everyone.

Owen reached over and shook her hand, “How’s it going!? I’m Owen!”

“Nice to meet you, Oooooo-wow.” she said before looking behind her and seeing the next boat.

On this boat was a man with black hair and a green shirt. Almost all the contestants looked at him in either awe or attraction.

“This is Justin. Welcome to Total Drama Island.”, Chris said before fist-bumping him.

“Thanks Chris, this is great.” Justin responded.

“Just so you know, we picked you based entirely on your looks.”

“I can live with that.” He said as he walked over to the other contestants.

“I like your pants!” Owen said.

“Thanks man.” Justin responded.

“Cause they look like they’re all worn out!”, he said before laughing, “Did you buy them like that?”

“Uhh, no, just had them for awhile.” Justin responded.

“Oh. Cool!” Owen said before face palming, “Stupid!”

“Hey everyone, Izzy’s here!” Chris said as the final boat pulled up.

On it was a woman with orange hair and clothes made of leaves and vines, or at least the appear that way.

“Hi Chris! Hi! Hi-woah!” she said as she accidentally tripped off the boat and hit her head on the dock, and fell into the lake.

“Ooh, that was bad….” Tyler said before chuckling.

Courtney ran to the end of the dock and reached her hand into the lake to help her out, “Guys! She could be seriously hurt!”

Upon being pulled out, Izzy shook herself dry like a dog.

“That felt… so… good!”, she yelled, “Except for hitting my chin. This is summer camp! That is so cool! Do you have paper mache here? Are we having lunch soon!?”

“That is a good call!” Owen yelled.

“First things first,” Chris said, “We need a group photo for the promos. Everyone, on the end of the dock!”

The remaining contestants walked over to join Izzy and Courtney as Chris hopped onto her boat with a camera.

“Okay, one, two, three…” Chris said before, “Oops, wait. Forgot the lens cap. Okay, hold that pose… one… two… oh! No wait, card’s full. Hang on.”

“C’mon man, my face is starting to freeze.” Leshawna said.

“Got it! Okay, everyone say Wawanakwa!”

“Wawanakwa!” the contestants all yelled out.

Chris managed to take the photo, but just after, the dock collapsed due to the combined weight, and everyone ended up in the water.

“Okay guys, dry off and meet at the campfire pit in ten.” Chris said to the contestants.

Cut to all the campers at the campfire pit, where Chris said, “This is Camp Wawankawa, your home for the next eight weeks. The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends, ya dig?” At this, Harold smiled at Duncan, only for Duncan to hold up a fist at him.

“The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island the longest without getting voted off,” Chris continued, “will win $100,000!”

“S’cuse me, what will the sleeping arrangements be? Because I’d like to request a bunk under her.”, Duncan said while pointing at Heather.

“They’re not co-ed, are they?” Heather asked, concerned.

“No.” Chris responded, “Girls get one side of each cabin, and dudes get the other.”

“Excuse me, Kyle?” Lindsay asked, “Can I have a cabin with a lakeview since I’m the prettiest?”

“Okay you are,” Chris responded, “But that’s not really how it works here. And also, it’s Chris.”

“I have to live with Sadie, or I’ll die!” Katie said.

“And I’ll break out in hives! It’s true!” Sadie said.

“This cannot be happening….” Gwen said, only for her and Tyler to be pulled into a big hug by Owen.

“C’mon, guys! It’ll be fun!” Owen told them, “It’s like a big sleepover!”

“As least you don’t have to sleep near him.” Tyler told Gwen while pointing towards Duncan, who somehow had a deer in a headlock.

“Here’s the deal.” Chris said, “We’re gonna split you into two teams. If I call your name out, go stand over there. Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Tyler, Izzy, Owen, Leshawna, Justin, and Noah.”

The eleven campers called all went to stand together.

“From this moment on, you are officially know as the Screaming Gophers!” Chris said as he tosses their team banner to Owen.

“Yeah! I’m a gopher! Woo!” Owen says.

“The rest of you, over here.” Chris said, “Geoff, Bridgette, DJ, Beth, Sadie, Katie, Courtney, Ezekiel, Duncan, Eva, and Harold. Move, move! You guys will officially be known as the Killer Bass!”

Chris tossed a banner with their logo to Harold, who said “That’s awesome! It’s like… amazing!”

“Alright campers, you and your team will be on camera in all public areas during this competition.” Chris said.

—Confessional: Chris—

“You will also be able to share your innermost thoughts on tape with video diaries anytime you want. Let the audience at home know what you’re really thinking. Or just get something off your chest.”

—Confessional: Gwen—

“Ummm, okay… so far this sucks.”

–Confessional: Lindsay—

“I don’t get it, where’s the camera guy?” she said while facing the wrong way.

—Confessional: Tyler—

“Alright! Psyched to be here! I think I’ve got a good shot at winning this!”

—Confessional: Owen—

“Hey everyone, check this out. I have something very important to say.” He then farted and chuckled into the camera.

“Alright, any questions? Cool.” Chris said, “Now go find your cabins. Gophers you’re in the east cabin, Bass you’re in the west.”

Cut to the girl’s side of the Gopher cabin.

“Bunk beds? Isn’t that little summer camp-y?” Heather asked.

“That’s the idea, genius.” Gwen responded.

“Uugghh, shut up weird goth girl.”

Cody walked up to Gwen and said, “You’re so smart. I feel that.”

“Shouldn’t you be on the boys side?” she responded. Cody just smiled awkwardly at that.

Cody is then thrown out of the cabin and got a mouthful of dirt.

“Where are the outlets? I have to plug in my straightening iron.” Lindsay asked Chris.

“There are some in the communal bathrooms. Just across the way.” Chris responded.

“Communal bathrooms? But I’m not Catholic.”

“Not communion, communal.”

“It means we shower together.” Gwen told Lindsay, “Idiot.”

“Awww, no! C’mon!” Lindsay cried out, drawing the attention of Trent, Noah, and Owen from the guys side of the cabin.

“I’m glad we’re in our own cabin with just guys, y’know what I mean?” Owen asked Trent and Noah. The two just stared at him as they walked back inside.

“I mean no! I didn’t mean it like that! I loooove chics! I just don’t wanna sleep near them! Uhh, I mean-!” he said as he ran back inside.

“Excuse me, Chris?” Geoff asked, “Is there a chaperone of any kind I’m this facility?”

“You’re all sixteen years old.” Chris responds, “As old as a counselor in training at a regular summer camp. So other than myself, the TV crew, and our Chef, you’ll be unsupervised. You’ve got a half an hour to unpack and meet me at the main lodge. Staring now.”

“Nice.” Geoff responded.

Suddenly, everyone hears Lindsay scream and the other twenty one campers went to see what’s going on.

“Man, that white girl can scream.” Leshawna said as they all look through the door.

“What is it!? Kill it!” Lindsay yelled out as she saw a cockroach on the floor.

DJ and Beth screamed at the sight of it as well and jumped onto the nearest bunk, breaking it.

“That… was my bed.” Gwen said.

Everyone else started running around trying to either step on it or avoid it, Tyler somehow falling over in the process. As the cockroach ran towards the door, Duncan walked in holding a hatchet, and chopped the bug in half.

“Well, that’s one way to kill a cockroach.” Gwen said.

“Awesome.” Harold added.

“Sure, because that wasn’t overkill.” Noah added.

Tyler then leaned over to Lindsay and told her, “If you ever see one of those again, just let me know, okay? Cause, y’know, I could do that too.” and the two began looking at each other lovingly.

“Tch, they always go for the jocks.” Duncan said.

Cut to the main lodge, where Chef Hatchet began talking to the Campers. “Listen up! I serve it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day! Grab your tray, get your food, and sit your butts down!”

“Excuse me, will we be getting all the major food groups?” Beth asked as Chef put a sloppy Joe onto her tray.

“Yeah, ‘cause I get hypoglycemic real bad, if I don’t get enough sugar.” Harold added.

“You’ll get a whole lot of SHUT THE HECK UP!” Chef yelled.

“Have a cow.” Owen said, causing Noah to snicker.

“What was that!?” Chef yelled, “Come closer fat boy, I didn’t hear you!”

“Uhh, I didn’t really say anything important.” Owen replied nervously.

“I’m sure you didn’t.” Chef said before turning his attention to Noah, “You. Scrawny kid. Gimme your plate.” he said before adding a second sloppy Joe to his tray.

“Huh.” was all Noah said as he went to take his seat.

“Oh, what’s up, girl?” Leshawna said to Eva, who said nothing in response. “Oh, it’s gonna be like that, is it!?”

“Next!” Chef yelled.

“Excuse me, my nutritionist says I shouldn’t eat any white sugar, white flour, or like… dairy.” Lindsay said.

“I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem.” Gwen said while looking at her tray.

“Cool!” Lindsay replied before taking her seat.

“Okay, I hate to be predictable and complain on the first day, but I think mine just moved.” Gwen said. 

Upon hearing this, Chef smashed her sloppy Joe with a meat tenderizer, getting some of it on Gwen’s face.

“Right! Okay then!” Gwen said before taking her seat.

After everyone took their seat, Chris walked in and said, “Welcome to the main lodge!”

“Yo, Chris, can we order a pizza or something?” Geoff asked before Chef threw a meat cleaver past him that landed in the wall, “Woah! It’s cool, man! Brown slop is cool! Heh, right guys?”

Everyone else either nodded worriedly or hid under the table.

“Your first challenge begins in one hour!” Chris said before leaving the lodge.

“What do you think they’ll make us do?” Katie asked DJ worriedly.

“It’s our first challenge, how hard can it be?” DJ responded.

Cut to all the campers atop the highest cliff on the island looking down.

“Oh sh*t.” DJ said.

Chapter Text

Recap:

“Last time on Total Drama Island… 22 campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp, then, have to face the judgement of their fellow campers.”

“It’s our first challenge, how hard can it be?”

-Theme Song-

We cut back to the cliff side, with all the campers looking off the cliff in fear.

“Okay,” Chris began, “Today’s challenge is threefold. Your first task is to jump off this 1,000 foot high cliff into the lake.” 

“Piece of cake.” Bridgette said.

“If you look down,” Chris continued as the camera cuts to the water below, “You will see two target areas. The wider part of the lake we have stocked with psychotic, man eating sharks! Inside of that area is a safe zone. That’s your target area. Which we’re pretty sure is shark-free.”

“Excuse me?” Leshawna asked at Chris’ last statement.

“For each member of your team that jumps and actually… y’know, survives,” Chris continues, “there will be some crates of supplies waiting below. Inside each crate are supplies you’ll need for the second part of the challenge: Building a hot tub. You asked where the hot tub was DJ, well there ya go. The team with the best one gets to have a wicked hot tub party tonight. The losers will be sending someone home. Let’s see… Killer Bass, you’re up first.”

Cut to Bridgette staring down the edge of the cliff, “Oh… wow. So uh, who wants to go first?”

Nobody replied to that.

“Hey, don’t worry guys, I heard these shows always make the interns do the stunts first to make sure it’s survivable!” Owen says to reassure everyone.

Flashback to Chris and Chef at the cliff.

“We need to test the stunts first. You know that.” Chris said to Chef.

“Do I look like an intern?” Chef sarcastically responded.

“No,” Chris replies, “But the ones we have are all in the hospital. C’mon, just jump it you big chicken!”

Chris then started making chicken noise to mock Chef.

“I don’t get paid enough for this, man.” Chef said as he put on his goggles before jumping and screaming the whole way down, missing the inner circle.

“Hey! I made it! I made it, man!” Chef yelled out, not realizing a shark was coming up behind him. “I- SOMETHING JUST BRUSHED BY MY FOOT! HEY CHRIS MAN! SOMETHING AIN’T RIGHT DOWN HERE!”

Chef is then pulled under the water before jumping out and running Scooby-Doo style back to shore while screaming.

“Well.” Chris said, “That seems safe enough.”

Cut back to present time.

“So,” Eva asked, “Who’s up first?”

“Ladies first.” Duncan said sarcastically.

“Fine, I’ll go. It’s no big deal. Just an insane cliff dive into a circle of angry sharks.” Bridgette said before jumping.

Doing a perfect swan dive, Bridgette managed to land right in the middle of the inner circle, as the show’s boat showed up to collect everyone once they jumped.

“Alright, she did it!” Geoff yelled out, “I’ll go next! Wahoooooo!”

Geoff jumped off next, followed by Eva, who told everyone to “Look out below!”, and then followed by Duncan, who remained completely silent. All three managed to land in the inner circle and get onto the boat.

Cut back to the top of the cliff, where DJ was looking down while scared, “Nuh-uh. No way, man. I’m not jumping.”

“Scared of heights?” Chris asked him.

“Yeah, ever since I was a kid.” DJ replied.

“That’s okay, big guy. Unfortunately, that also makes you a chicken!” Chris said before putting a chicken hat onto DJ’s head, “So, you’ll have to wear this for the rest of the day.”

“Aww man, for real?” DJ asked. Chris replied by making chicken noises.

“The chicken path is thataway.” Chris said while pointing to an escalator that DJ walked down. “Next!”

Ezekiel jumped off the cliff next with no fear, shouting “Yeehaw!” as he did so.

Unfortunately for him, he hit a rock jutting out of the cliff on his way down and started spinning around rapidly. Thankfully, he still managed to land in the inner circle and gave a thumbs up to his teammates on the boat.

“Yes!” Harold said before taking the jump himself, “Woooo!”

Unfortunately for him, he had his legs spread out while jumping, causing him to land directly on his crotch and let out a scream of pain whilst everyone else winced. But hey, at least he landed in the inner circle.

“Ooh, hate to see that happen.” Chris said.

“Excuse me, Chris.” Courtney said to him, “I have a medical condition.”

“What condition?” Chris asked her.

“A condition that prevents me from jumping off of cliffs.”

“You can chicken out if you want, but it might cost your team the win. And then they’ll hate you.”

“It’s a calculated risk. I’ve seen the other team, and I don’t think nine of them will jump.” Courtney replied while looking at everyone but Tyler and Izzy.

“Alright.” Chris said while putting a chicken hate on her head, “Here is your chicken hat. So, let’s tally up the results. Hold on. That’s six jumpers and two chickens. We’re missing three.”

“I… I don’t think I can do it. I’m too scared.” Beth said.

“C’mon, you totally can!” Katie said to her.

“Yeah, just hold my hand! You can jump with us!” Sadie said.

“You sure?” Beth said while grabbing Sadie’s hand.

“Totally! Now come on! We’re coming Killer Bass!” Sadie said as the three of them ran and jumped off the cliff together. While Beth was scared, the three managed to land in the safe zone and board the boat.

“Okay, so that’s nine jumpers and two chickens. Screaming Gophers, if you can beat that, you’ll get some pull carts for your crates.” Chris said.

“Nice.” Trent said, “Okay guys, who’s up first?”

“I got this, dudes! Cowabungaaaaaa!” Tyler said as he jumped. Unfortunately for him, he only managed to hit a buoy surrounding the inner circle, causing everyone to wince. He did manage to get back up and onto the boat, however.

Back at the top of the cliff, the rest of the Gophers seemed a lot more hesitant.

“I’m sorry, there’s no way I’m doing this.” Heather said.

“Right, and why’s that?” Noah replied.

“Hello? National TV? I’ll get my hair wet.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Gwen asked.

“If she’s not doing it, I’m not doing it!” Lindsay added as she and Heather smirked at each other.

“Oh, you’re doing it.” Leshawna said.

“Says who?” Heather replied.

“Says me! I’m not losing this challenge because you for your hair did, you spoiled little daddy’s girl!” Leshawna responded as everyone else backed away.

“Back off, ghetto glamour, too-tight pants wearing, rap star wannabe!”

“Mall-shopping, ponytail wearing, teen girl reading, peaking in high school prom queen!”

“Well at least I’m popular.”

Everyone was taken aback by that, except for Noah, who was amused by the argument, and Justin, who was too busy looking at himself at the mirror to care.

“You’re jumping!” Leshawna yelled.

“Make me!” Heather responded.

At that, Leshawna picked up Heather and threw her off the cliff, Heather screaming the whole way down.

“Leshawna! You are so dead!” she yelled from the bottom as she climbed into the boat.

“Hey, I threw you into the safe zone, didn’t I!? Now I just hope I can hit it to.” she said before jumping and landing in the inner circle.

“I thought this was supposed to be a talent contest!” Lindsay said worriedly from atop the cliff.

“Hahaha, yeah, hahaha, no.” Chris responded.

Lindsay jumped off next, followed by Gwen and Cody, who both screamed on their way down, and then Izzy, who was shouting with joy. Justin jumped next, but unlike the rest of them, he missed the inner circle.

“Swim! Paddle!” everyone yelled out to him.

Sharks began to swim up to Justin, but once they saw him up close, they too were entranced by his beauty and carried him to the boat.

“Why, thank you.” was all he had to say.

“Let’s do this.” Trent said as he high fived Noah and Owen before jumping and landing in the inner circle.

“You got this, big guy.” Noah said while patting Owen on the back, before he too jumped into the inner circle.

“Okay campers! There’s only one person left!” Chris shouted through his megaphone, “Gophers already have the push carts locked in, but if Owen doesn’t jump, no doubt his team will consider him dead weight. No pressure dude. Okay there’s pressure!”

Owen looked very worried at that statement, while the rest of his team cheered him on from below.

Owen put on his water wings.

—Confessional: Owen—

“I was pretty darn nervous. See the thing is, I’m not that strong a swimmer.”

—Confessional: Geoff—

“I’m looking at this guy and thinking, there’s no way he’s gonna make it.”

—Confessional: Gwen—

“I actually thought, if he jumps this, he’s gonna die.”

—Confessional: Noah—

“I didn’t get why everyone was so worried. Everyone else survived the jump just fine, no reason why he wouldn’t.”

“Take a good run at it, buddy. You can do this!” Chris said to Owen.

“I’m going to die now. I’m going to frickin’ die now.” Owen said.

Everyone looked on as Owen readied himself for the jump.

“C’mon, big guy….” Leshawna said.

“Yeaaaaah!” Owen said as he ran up to the cliff and jumped off.

“OOOOOHHHH CRAAAAAP!” He yelled as he was falling.

He landed perfectly fine in the safe zone, but in doing so created a massive wave that tipped over the boat and knocked everyone onto the sand.

“Yes! Yeah! Oh yeah, who’s the man!” Owen yelled out.

“The winners are the Screaming Gophers!” Chris yelled through his megaphone.

“That was awesome, dude.” Trent said to Owen, before realizing he still looked worried, “What’s wrong?”

“I, uh… think I lost my bathing suit.” Owen admitted.

Everyone reacted as you’d expect.

Cut to the Gophers pulling their carts while singing “99 bottles of pop on the wall” purely to spite the Bass.

Meanwhile, the Bass were having a tough time pushing their crates.

“Ow!” Courtney said, “I think I just got a splinter.”

Eva walked over and lifted her crate with one hand before saying, “Shut up and pick up your crate. Chicken.” before tossing it back down.

“Hey, I’m the only one with C.I.T. camping experience here. You guys need me!”

Eva simply rolled her eyes at this.

While walking along the beach, Lindsay found a shell and tried to listen to the waves through it, somehow not realizing that she was right next to the water.

“Oof, I gotta go to the bathroom.” Katie said while she and Sadie were pushing their crate.

“You do? Oh my gosh, me too!” Sadie responded.

“Hurry up, we’re already behind.” Eva told the two as they walked past her to go to some bushes.

A bug flew by Courtney, causing her to accidentally slap it into her eye, “Ow! I think something just bit me!”

Cut back to the Gophers pushing their crates.

“Hey, look! There’s the campgrounds!” Tyler yelled out.

“That was pretty easy.” Owen responded.

“I’m  pleasantly surprised.” Cody added.

Cut back to Katie and Sadie walking over to the Bass.

“All better?” Eva asked the two sternly.

“Yup!” the two replied.

“Can we go now? I think my eye is swelling up!” Courtney said.

“Uugghh, something’s itching me! Are you itchy too?” Sadie asked Katie as they pushed their crates.

“Totally itchy! Really bad!” she responded.

Cut back to the Gophers trying to open their crates.

“Remember, you guys can only use your teeth to open the crates! I came up with that one.” Chris said to them.

After pulling for awhile, Izzy chimed in and said “Hey! I think I got it open!”, before pulling back as the crate opened.

“Ow! Ow! Rope burn on my tongue!”

Cut back to Katie and Sadie pushing their crates.

“Ooh, it’s really itching now!” Sadie said.

“Mine feels like it’s burning….” Katie said.

“Okay, I have to scratch!” Sadie as the two started scratching themselves as Chris pulled up with his ATV.

“Okay, you guys are way behind the other team! Like, way behind! What’s the problem?” he asked.

“Their butts are itchy.” Courtney said as the camera panned over to her, revealing her eye to be really swollen.

“Gah! Oh my boxers, that’s bad!” Chris said in shock.

“Did you guys squat down when you peed in the woods?” Bridgette asked Katie and Sadie.

“Yeah…?” Katie responded.

“Did you happen to notice what kind of plants you were squatting over?” Bridgette asked.

“They were kind of green, and oval shaped, and all over the place.” Sadie responded.

“Were they low to the ground? About this big?” Bridgette asked to confirm her suspicions as the girls nodded, “You guys squatted on poison ivy.”

At hearing this, the girls immediately panicked and began screaming.

Chris laughed at this, “No way! That’s hilarious!”

Katie and Sadie immediately ran over to water water to cool their itching.

Cut back to the Gophers with all their crates open.

“Hey, check it out! I got wood!” Owen said while pulling planks out of the box.

“Got some tools here.” Justin added.

“I got what looks to be a pool liner.” Trent said afterwards.

Heather and Lindsay walked over to Leshawna, before Heather said, “I just wanted to say, I didn’t mean that about you being a ghetto rap star wannabe. And I love your earrings, they’re so pretty.”

“Straight up?” Leshawna responded, “Well… I’m sorry about throwing you off the cliff and all.”

“No worries, I needed a push. Truce?”

“Yeah, yeah, you got it.”

They shook hands as Heather and Lindsay walked away.

“Did you mean all that stuff you said to Lefonda back there?” Lindsay asked.

“Leshawna? Ugh, no. She’s going down. And P.S.? Those are the ugliest earrings I’ve seen in my life.” Heather responded before applying some lip gloss.

“Oh… so if you hate her, why were you being nice to her?”

“Have you ever seen one of these shows before? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

“Ohhhh. I’m your friend, right?”

“Oh yeah. For now.”

Cut to the Killer Bass finally arriving to the campgrounds.

“Hey, what’s up, guys?” Trent asked.

“Hey aren’t you missing a couple of loud girls?” Leshawna asked.

“They’re, uh, getting a drink.” Courtney replied.

“Yeah, if they drink with their butts.” Harold whispered to Ezekiel, which he laughed at.

“Ooh, what happened to your eye, girl?” Leshawna asked Courtney.

“Oh, nothing! Just an allergy!” she relied.

“I think it’s getting worse….” Ezekiel said.

“Shut up! We don’t want them to know that!” She whispered to him.

“Okay, dudes, it’s not too late!” Geoff said as he rallied the Bass together, “We can do this!”

Cut to Ezekiel picking his nose and grossing out Courtney.

“That’s really gross.” Bridgette said.

“Okay guys,” Courtney said as she stood up, “We have a hot tub to complete, and we need a project manager. Since I’ve actually been a C.I.T. before, I’m electing myself. Any objections?”

“Where do we begin, Cyclops?” Duncan said.

“Open the crates.” she said while pointing at Duncan, before diverting her attention to Beth, “Beth! Go find those itchy girls! We need all the help we can get!”

Cut to a montage of the Gophers doing an excellent job at working together with building their hot tub, while the Bass failed miserably. By the end, the Gophers’ hot tub looked pretty good, while the Bass’ looked like it could fall apart at any moment.

After he finished looking over the Gophers’ hot tub, Chris said, “This is an awesome hot tub!” causing the team to cheer, and Owen to jump up from under the water.

He then diverted his attention to the Bass’ tub. He tapped it once and it squirted him in the face. And then fell apart.

“Well, I think we have a winner here. The Screaming Gophers!” The Gophers cheered at this news.

“Gophers, you’re safe from elimination, and you get to rock this awesome hot tub for the rest of the summer!” Chris said, “Killer Bass, what can I say, sucks to be you right now. I’ll see your sorry butts at the campfire tonight.”

“We won! We get to stay here for another three days!” Lindsay cheered while hugging Heather and Tyler.

Cut to Owen, seemingly unaware that he was completely naked.

“Woohoo! Yes! We get to stay! We get to stay! We are so awesome! We won the contest!” Owen sang as he hugged Heather and Lindsay, unaware of the former’s discomfort.

Cut to the main lodge where everyone was eating their food.

“So, uhhh, what do we do now?” Katie asked.

“We have to figure out who we vote off.” Courtney said.

“Tch, we’ll I think it should be Princess, or the brick house here.” while pointing at DJ and Courtney.

“What!? Why!?” Courtney asked.

“Because, unless I’m mistaken, you two are the only ones wearing chicken hats.” Duncan replied, “And if we ever have to lift a truck for some reason, I like our odds with the big guy.”

“You guys need me! I’m the only one who-“ Courtney said before getting cut off.

“We know, you used to be a real C.I.T.” Bridgette said, “So who would you pick?”

Courtney looked around before pointing at Harold, “What about him!?”

“What did I do!?” Harold responded confused.

“Hey, at least he jumped off the cliff, chicken wing!” Duncan said.

“Shut up!” Courtney responded.

“Okay, let’s just chill out. This is getting way too heavy.” Geoff said.

“I’ve had enough prison food for one day. I’m gonna go have a nap.” Duncan said before getting up.

“You can’t do that! We haven’t decided who’s going yet!” Courtney said.

“Seems like we have to me.” Eva replied.

“Well, I’m not surprised we lost. Our team has six girls.” Ezekiel said. Everyone gasped at that.

—Confessional:  Ezekiel—

“In hindsight, that might’ve been the worst possible thing to say.”

Eva and Bridgette walked over to Ezekiel, with Bridgette asking, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Yeah, homeschool. Enlighten us.” Eva said as she slammed her fist down onto the table.

Ezekiel, oblivious, responded with, “Well, guys are much stronger and better at sports than girls are.” Everyone continued to look shocked.

Geoff facepalmed and said, “Oh snap, he did not just say that!”

“My dad told me to look out for the girls here, eh. And help ‘em in case they can’t keep up!” Ezekiel said.

Eva, now more enraged than ever, lifted him by the throat and asked, “Still think we need your help keeping up!?”

“Uhh… not… really….”

Geoff walked over and said “Okay, guys, let’s give him a break. Dude was raised by freaky prairie people. At least he doesn’t think guys are smarter than girls.”

Ezekiel, now having been dropped by Eva, responded with, “But… they are?”

Cut to the campers all at the Campfire Ceremony. The Bass sat on logs closest to the fire while the Gophers sat in a booth near the rock wall.

“Dude, you’ve got a lot to learn about the real world.” Duncan told Ezekiel.

“Killer Bass.” Chris began, “At camp, marshmallows represent a tasty treat that you enjoy roasting by the fire. At this camp, marshmallows represent life.”

Geoff took his time to stretch and wink at Bridgette, which she chuckled at.

“You’ve all cast your votes and made your decision. There are only ten marshmallows on this plate, but eleven Killer Bass. When I call your name, please come up and claim your marshmallow. Screaming Gophers, you’re here as the Peanut Gallery, and get to watch the Killer Bass eliminate one of their own. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately walk down the Dock of Shame and board the Boat of Losers. That means you’re out of the contest. And you can’t come back. Ever. The first marshmallow goes to… Geoff.”

Geoff smiled as he ran over to get his marshmallow.

“Beth.”

Beth took a sigh of relief as she claimed her marshmallow.

“Katie.”

“Bridgette.”

“DJ.”

“Eva.”

“Awesome, thanks.” Eva said. The four all sighed happily as they claimed their marshmallows.

“Harold.”

“Yes.” he said as he grabbed his next.

“Sadie.”

“Oh yay! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Sadie said while hugging a Katie with her marshmallow.

“Duncan.”

He said nothing as he grabbed his marshmallow.

“Campers.” Chris said in a more serious tone, “This is the final marshmallow of the evening. It goes to…”

Courtney and Ezekiel both looked really nervous as the camera got close ups of them, both incredibly scared.

…

…

…

…

…

“Courtney.” Chris said finally.

Courtney sighed happily as she ran over to join her team, while Ezekiel sighed sadly.

“Can’t say I’m shocked, I saw you picking your nose, dude. Not cool. Dock of Shame is that way, bro.” Chris told him.

“Sorry, guys… and girls….” Ezekiel said as he walked down the Dock.

“The rest of you, enjoy your marshmallows. You’re all safe. For tonight.” Chris told the Bass, “Gophers, hope you all enjoy your hot tub.”

—Confessional: Gwen—

“Yup, this camp pretty much still sucks. But, now that I’m here, I guess I might as well actually try to win.”

Cut to Trent, Lindsay, Tyler, Cody, Izzy, Heather, and Justin in the hot tub, with Gwen standing next to it. Cody held up a juice box and said, “To the Screaming Gophers!”

“To the Screaming Gophers!” they all replied.

“Go Gophers! Go Gophers! Go Gophers!” Leshawna chanted, soon joined by Owen and Noah.

Harold, Bridgette, and Courtney walked by, looking somewhat annoyed. Courtney then looked at the cameraman.

“Are you recording this? Good! They can enjoy their little party all they want! But I am going to win this competition! Today was just a minor setback, I’m still going to win!” she said.

—Voting: Geoff—

“Tried to stick up for ya dude, but you just dug yourself a deeper grave.”

—Voting: Beth—

“Yeah… that was really not a good thing to say, Ezekiel.”

—Voting: Katie & Sadie—

“Ezekiel’s a total loser!”

“Yeah, how dare he say that!”

—Voting: Bridgette—

“Y’know, I was gonna vote for Courtney until you said that, Ezekiel.”

—Voting: DJ—

“Sorry Ezekiel, but you just can’t say that kind of thing.”

—Voting: Eva—

“What an absolute idiot.”

—Voting: Harold—

“I may have gotten along with you before, but we respect women where I’m from.”

—Voting: Duncan—

“Courtney may get on my nerves, but since everyone else is voting Ezekiel now, guess I might as well too.”

—Voting: Courtney—

“Pretty sure Ezekiel accidentally saved me there. I will not waste this second chance.”

—Voting: Ezekiel—

“I’m going for Courtney. She was kinda bossy, eh. Plus she didn’t jump. …I probably shouldn’t have said that thing to the girls, huh?”

Chapter Text

Recap:

“Last time on Total Drama Island, 22 campers arrived and learned they’d be spending the next eight weeks at a crusty old summer camp. The campers were faced with their first challenge: jumping off a cliff into shark infested waters! And while most campers took the plunge, a few were forced to wear the dreaded chicken hats. At the campfire ceremony, it all came down to two campers. Courtney has experience as a C.I.T. in Summer Camp, but refused to jump. And Ezekiel jumped, but managed to tick off every female contestant at the camp with his sexist comments about women. In the end, the first camper voted off of Total Drama Island was Ezekiel, proving that home schooling and reality tv might not mix very well. Who will be voted off this week in the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet? Find out tonight on Total Drama Island!”

-Theme song-

We open with Chris walking up towards the cabins with a megaphone. And then blowing an air horn through this megaphone.

Leshawna wakes up and hits her head on the bunk above her, “Ow! It’s seven in the morning! Do I look like a farmer to you?”

Cut to the 21 campers all standing outside. Beth, seeing that Eva has an MP3 player, tried to touch it, only for Eva to attempt to bite her.

“Morning! Hope you slept well!” Chris said.

“Hi Chris! You look really buff in those shorts!” Heather said an attempt to suck up.

“I know.” He responded, “Okay, I hope you’re all ready, because your next challenge begins in exactly one minute!”

“Oh! Excuse me!” said Owen, “I don’t think that’s enough time to eat breakfast!”

“Oh, you’ll get breakfast, Owen. Right after you complete your 20 kilometer run around the lake!” Chris responded.

“Oh, so you’re funny now!? You know what I think would be funny!?” Eva said as she walked up to Chris with a fist raised, only to get held back by Bridgette and Duncan.

“Eva! Try to control your temper.” Courtney whispered to Eva.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you!?” Eva asked Chris.

“A little. You have thirty seconds before the challenge.” he responded. Eva snarled at that.

—Confessional: Courtney—

“Okay, that girl Eva has got to get a handle on her temper. She’s only been here three days and she’s already thrown her suitcase out the window, broken the lock on of the bathroom doors, and snapped one of Katie’s makeup brushes in half.”

“Okay runners!” Chris shouted, “On your marks, get set, go!”

Everyone began their 20k, some running, some jogging, and some merely walking. Tyler somehow managed to trip after just one step.

Cut to Gwen, Harold, Katie, and Sadie all opting to just walk.

“Do you know how much longer?” Harold asked Gwen as Justin and Bridgette ran past them.

“Don’t walk beside me.” she responded.

As Noah was running, he bumped into a walking Heather.

“Do you mind!?” she said.

“Not particularly, no.” he responded.

—Confessional: Heather—

“I don’t run. And I definitely don’t run in high heel wedges.”

Heather eventually walked past Owen, who was laying on the ground and drinking puddle water.

“Can’t… catch… breath…” he said, “Must… have… condition…!”

“Yeah, it’s called overeating. Look into it.” Heather said as Leshawna walked past.

“And what’s your excuse?” Leshawna said in between gasping for breath, “You’re skinny… annoying… ugh… too tired for insults….”

Chris then came by on his moped and said into his megaphone, “Keep it up people! If you’re not back before dinner time, you don’t eat!”

“Uugghh, I hate him so much.” Heather said as she walked over Owen.

Cut to the main lodge, where Duncan, Lindsay, Katie, Sadie, Trent, Gwen, Cody, DJ, Justin, Eva, Beth, and Geoff had already finished their run. When suddenly Owen busted through the door, holding Noah over his shoulder.

“Clear a table, stat!” he yelled out as Leshawna, Heather, Tyler, and Izzy walked in behind them. After putting Noah on the table, Owen began pumping his chest in attempt to give him CPR.

Just then, Harold, Courtney, and Bridgette walked in.

“What took you guys so long?” Eva asked sternly, “We just lost the challenge!”

“I think I’m having heart palpitations….” Harold said while panting.

“Hey wait a minute, if they lost, that means we won the challenge!” Gwen said.

All the Gophers start cheering, including Noah.

“I thought you were unconscious?” asked Heather.

“Nah, I just tripped and Owen thought I fainted, so he carried me all the way here, and I was too lazy to argue. Made him run faster though.” Noah replied with a shrug.

“Woah there, hold your horses, guys! That wasn’t the challenge!” Chris said.

“What did he just say?” Gwen asked.

“Now…” Chris said as he walked towards a curtain, which pulled back to reveal a giant buffet, “Who’s hungry?”

—Confessional: Gwen—

“After three days of brown slop, I almost cried when I saw that buffet.”

—Confessional: Owen—

“And then I saw it: the buffet table! It was beautiful! There was turkey, and candy bars, and baked beans, and maple syrup! Can I have a moment?” Owen the began crying tears of joy.

—Confessional: Justin—

“Y’know, even though my dietitian says I shouldn’t eat like more than half of the things on that table, I couldn’t resist after the “food” we’ve been putting up with for the past three days.”

Cut to the food on the buffet table all eaten and all the contestants groaning and clutching their stomachs.

“Okay campers!” Chris said into his megaphone, “Time for your real challenge!”

“I thought eating was the challenge?” Owen asked.

“What more do you want from us, dude?” Tyler asked.

“Uugghh, dude’s right. Haven’t we been through enough?” asked Trent.

“Umm, let me think about that… No!” Chris said, “It’s time for the Awakeathon!”

“The whatathon?” Sadie asked.

“Don’t worry. This one’s simple. The team with the last camper left awake wins invincibility!” Chris informed them.

“So, what your saying is, the 20k run and the turkey eating frenzy were a part of your evil plan for us to stay awake?” Gwen asked.

“That’s right, Gwen!”

“Dang, he’s good.” Gwen said as all the campers walked over to sit at the bonfire area.

“So, how do you think it’ll be before everyone’s out cold?” Trent asked Gwen.

“About an hour, give or take.” she responded, before a very sleepy Owen walked by them. “Maybe less.”

Cut to everyone at the campfire pit, all looking tired.

“We are now twelve hours in with all 21 campers still awake.” Chris said.

“Wahoo! Stay awake for twelve hours! I can do that in my sleep! Wahoo!” Owen said. He the immediately collapsed onto the ground and fell asleep.

—Confessional: Gwen—

“The Awakeathon was definitely the most brutal thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

“This is the most boring thing I’ve ever done in my life.” Gwen said.

“Could be way worse.” Trent replied.

“Oh yeah? How?”

“I could be stuck here without you to talk to.”

Gwen smiled at this, while Heather eyed them suspiciously.

—Confessional: Heather—

“So, I have a strategy. I plan to get two other campers on my team to form an alliance with me and take to the final three. The only question is, who’s can I find that either dumb enough or desperate enough to do whatever I say? Gwen, Leshawna, Trent, and Noah aren’t dumb enough to fall for it, Justin’s too self absorbed, Owen and Cody are just annoying, and Izzy’s just crazy. So that just leaves…”

Cut to Lindsay doing a handstand.

“What are you doing?” asked Tyler.

“Trying to get the blood to rush to my head. I think it’s working!” Lindsay responded.

“Ooh, good idea! I’m gonna try to!” Tyler said before doing a handstand of his own.

“Perfect.” Heather said to herself, “Lindsay! Tyler! Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure!” Lindsay responded as Tyler fell over.

“Okay, I have a plan to get me and two other people to the final three, and I chose you two.” Heather told them after they walked over to her.

“Really?” Lindsay asked.

“Why us?” Tyler asked.

“Because you both seem like really great players.” Heather lied through her teeth, “You should know that this is a very big deal. I am placing my trust in you. And trust is a two-way street.”

The duo nodded.

“So you’ll do everything I say then?” Heather asked.

“Sure!” Lindsay replied, not thinking twice about it.

“Eeeee! We’re going to the final three!” she said as she hugged Tyler, causing him to blush and Heather to cover her ears at the incessant “Eeeee”ing.

-Confessional: Tyler—

“So Heather’s taking me and Lindsay to the final three, huh? Sounds like a great deal to me! …although, I wonder what’ll happen once we get there.”

Cut to Eva putting her MP3 in her pocket and getting up, “I’m going to the bathroom.”

Heather noticed that as Eva was walking away, her MP3 player fell out of her pocket. Seeing the opportunity, she went near it, did some fake stretches, and picked up before sitting back down next to Lindsay and Tyler.

“Uhh, isn’t that Ava’s MP3 player?” Lindsay asked.

“Yep.” Heather responded.

“Well isn’t she gonna get like… really mad once she realizes it’s gone?”

“That’s exactly what I’m counting on.”

Cut to almost twelve hours later, where more and more campers have fallen asleep, with the only ones still awake being Izzy, Noah, Heather, Lindsay, Tyler, Cody, Gwen, Trent, Justin, DJ, Harold, Geoff, Duncan, Courtney, and Eva.

Tyler looked over and saw Katie and Sadie sleeping by a bush. When all of a sudden, a bear popped out of the bush and punched them away, causing Tyler to scream in fear. …only for him to realize it was just a dream and Katie and Sadie were both fine and he woke them up with his screams. They all passed out after that.

“Congratulations, Campers! You’ve made it to the 24 mark! Time to take things up a notch!” Chris said as he pulled back a sheet to reveal a bunch of books, while Chef walked in in a pink sheep costume while holding a harp, “Fairytales!”

“Oh he’s not serious, is he?” Courtney asked.

As Chef began to strum his harp, Chris began reading, “Once… upon a time… there was… inside this boring kingdom… a boring village. And inside this boring sleepy village…”

As Chris continued his story, Cody fell asleep on the pillow next to him. …Only for him to wake up a moment later, and realize that that was not in fact a pillow, but Owen’s butt. He fell asleep on the ground after that.

—Confessional: Noah—
“Okay so I figured if we were all gonna be staying up for an unholy amount of time, I might as well try to find a way to keep myself occupied.”

“So what’s your deal?” Noah said as he turned to Izzy.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Izzy asked.

“Like why’d you wanna come on this show, what do you think of the others, what are our odds at winning this, stuff like that.”

“Oh! Well ya see, I came here because it’s a remote island, that way the RCMP will never find me! I’m number six on their most wanted list!”

“…I’m sorry what?”

“Yeah! I blew up one of their bases once. They’re still trying to track me down.” Izzy said before laughing.

“…you do know that we’re on a television show, right? They’ll know you were here.”

“Huh, didn’t think about that. Thanks for the tip, shrimpy!” she said.

“Shrimpy? What does that even-and you’re asleep.” he said before realizing that Izzy was, in fact, asleep now, “…I give up.”

Cut to Chef in a Ballerina outfit dancing around and throwing sparkles everywhere that somehow made people sleepy. DJ had tied himself to tree to prevent falling asleep, but that didn’t end up working, and when he passed out, the tree fell over.

“Timmmmmber.” Gwen said at the sight of it.

—Confessional: Courtney—

“I figured that if I kept moving, I could outlast everyone. I just had to keep my eye on the ball.”

“We should talk about our strategy.” Heather said to Lindsay as she elbowed her, only for Lindsay to fall over and pass out, leaving only four campers left on each team.

“Okay, favorite song?” Gwen asked Trent.

“She Would Be Loved.” he responded, “Favorite color?”

“Ummm… Midnight Blue.”

“Ooh, mysterious. I like that.”

Gwen smiled before yawning.

“Aw, don’t fall asleep! Okay, quick, favorite movie moment?” Trent asked.

“Okay, you’re gonna think it’s cheesy.” Gwen responded.

“I promise I won’t.”

“Okay… the kiss at the end of that one road-trip movie? Y’know, the one with the guy and the three girls?”

“Ha, I know that one. You like that movie too?”

Just then, a sleepwalking Owen passed by them. He was also naked. Because of course he was. Gwen and Trent naturally looked shocked while the sleepwalking Owen went into the woods.

—Confessional: Owen—

“Did I mention that I ate the entire dish of baked beans and maple syrup? Funny thing about baked beans; they make me sleepwalk.”

Cut to Katie and Sadie finishing each other’s snores while Gwen and Trent watched.

“Ah, cool. They even fall asleep together.” Trent said.

Gwen and Trent then lied down face up to look at the stars.

“Still awake?” Trent asked.

“Yeah. It’s weird, but… I think I’m so tired, I’m not tired anymore. Does that make sense?” Gwen replied.

“I really have no idea at this point. Where’s the Little Dipper again?”

Gwen pointed up towards the stars, “See the Big Dipper? Follow that handle to that Star, the Pole Star, and it’s right there.”

“Ah. Cool.” Trent responded.

Cut to the sleepwalking Owen at the cliff. He was about to walk off of it, but turned around just in time. …only to fall off of it backwards.

Cut back to the campsite where Gwen and Trent were looking at Justin.

“Look at him! He’s like a statue!” Gwen said, “He hasn’t moved in over… fifty hours!”

They both tried to make noises to see if they could get a response out of him.

“Amazing. Look at the concentration.” Gwen said, before poking him. …only for Justin to open his eyes, revealing that what everyone thought were his eyes were just painted eyelids.

“His eyelids are painted! I saw it!” Eva yelled out.

“Shut up! Oh I’ve gotta see this!” Chris responded before rushing over to Justin, proving what Eva said to be true, “That is so fricking cool! But you’re still out, dude.”

“Dang it….” Justin said.

Cut to some salmon jumping in and out of a river. Who are then joined by the now sleepswimming Owen doing the same thing. And then the camera pans to reveal that they’re going up a waterfall.

Cut to the following morning, where the still awake Duncan puts the sleeping Harold’s hand in a mug of water, causing Harold to subconsciously pee his pants.

“Aw, gross, it works! Dude peed his pants!” Duncan exclaimed, waking Harold up, who gasped and then ran off to get new pants.

Everyone else began waking up too, including Noah, who in his sleep somehow ended up kissing Cody’s ear. Once they woke up and realized this, they both screamed and ran away.

Gwen yawned before saying “I’d kill for a coffee right now.” Coincidentally, Chris walked over with a coffee of his own in hand.

“What is the matter with you people? C’mon, fall asleep already!” Chris said.

Gwen then crawled over and grabbed at his leg, “C’mon, you gotta hook me up, man. I’ll even eat the grinds! Anything!”

Chris looked around and found that only Heather, Gwen, Trent, Duncan, and Eva had yet to fall asleep, “Alright, you five stay here to continue the challenge. The rest of you, go and take a shower. You stink.”

Chris then turned his attention to the five remaining campers, “I didn’t want it to have to come to this. I said that to Chef Hatchet last night, I said, ‘Chef, I don’t want it to come to this!’ But darn it, you five are tough! And so, I’ve come up with the most boring, sleep-inducing activity I can find!”

—Confessional: Eva—

“Oh c’mon, what now!? Y’know what, bring it on!”

Chris then pulled out a book, “The History of Canada: A Pop-Up Book”, he said as he opened it to reveal a diorama of a beaver.

“Chapter 1, the Beaver. National Symbol, and a “Dam” fine hat.” Chris read out. At this, the remaining five groaned.

Cut to actual beavers building a dam, which somehow got the still sleeping Owen mixed into the wood.

Chris continued to read, “…which of course, was the precursor leading to the discussions on the war of 1812.” as Heather and Eva fell asleep.

Gwen looked over to Trent, and he was falling of his stump, “Trent! No! Don’t leave me!” she said as he passed out.

“Time for a bathroom break!” called out Chris, “Any takers?”

“I’ve held it this long, sweetheart. I can go all day.” Duncan said to Gwen.

“Yeah, but can you go another ten chapters?” she replied smugly.

Duncan then got up to go to the bathroom as Chris told him that he had five minutes, as long as the camera followed him.

“Fine. But stay out of the stall.” Duncan told the cameraman, who nodded.

Cut to footage of the stall door, “Duncan! You in there man?” the cameraman asked. When he opened the door, he found Duncan fast asleep, and went to tell Chris.

“And we have news!” Chris said, “It looks like Duncan’s taken a dive in the can! Which means the official winner of the Awakeathon is… Gwen! The Screaming Gophers win!”

After she heard this, she immediately fell asleep.

Cut to the Bass cabin, where Eva was yelling and throwing things out the window.

“Where is my MP3 player!? One of you must’ve stolen it! I need my music! Nobody is going anywhere until I get my MP3 player back!” Eva yelled as she threw more stuff.

“Okay, whoever took it better give it up now before she destroys the whole camp!” Courtney said.

With perfect timing, Heather walked up and said, “Oh, hey guys! Wow, this place is a real mess! What happened?”

“Someone stole Eva’s MP3 player.” Katie said.

“Oh, you don’t mean this, do you?” Heather said as she pulled the MP3 player out of her pocket, which Eva saw, “I was wondering who it belonged to. I found it by the campfire pit. You must’ve dropped it.”

“Oh thank you!” Eva said as she ran over and grabbed her MP3 player, “Thank you! Thank you!”

“Sure thing.” Heather said as she walked away.

—Confessional: Heather—

“Turning a team against their own members? Easiest trick in the book.”

“So…” Eva said as she looked nervously towards her teammates, “Guess nobody stole it after all…. Okay, maybe I overreacted a little….”

All her teammates looked upset.

Cut to the Campfire Ceremony, where all the Killer Bass took the same seats as they did the previous day, with all the Gophers (except Owen, who was still in the woods) sitting in the Peanut Gallery, with Gwen still being asleep.

“You’ve all cast your votes and made your decision. There are only nine marshmallows on this plate. I’ll just toss you the marshmallow when I call your name since you’re all pretty tired.” Chris said, “The camper who does not receive a marshmallow but immediately return to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and leave. And you can never come back. Ever. The first marshmallow goes to Duncan.”

Chris tossed the marshmallow to Duncan, who managed to catch it despite being incredibly tired.

“Bridgette.”

“Courtney.”

“Katie and Sadie.”

The duo squealed as they caught their marshmallows.

“Beth.”

“DJ.”

“Geoff.”

Everyone caught and immediately ate their marshmallows.

“Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening.” Chris said, while both Harold and Eva looked nervous, “and it goes to…”

…

…

…

…

…

“Harold.”

Harold breathed a sigh of relief as he caught his marshmallow.

“Eva, the dock of shame awaits.” Chris told her.

“Nice. Really nice.” Eva said angrily as she stood up, “Who needs this stupid TV show anyway!?”

She walked off and kicked Chris in the shin, causing him to wince in pain, before telling the remaining campers to get some sleep, and that they were all safe. For now.

—Confessional: Courtney—

“See, I told you. You can’t act like a total raging psychopath and then expect people to just forgive you, no matter how tough and strong and fast you are. She’s never gonna have a career if she doesn’t get her act together.”

—Confessional: Heather—

“So Eva was one of this game’s most threatening players. And now, she’s gone. I am so running this game.”

“Buh-bye, Eva!” Courtney said while waving to her, only for her Eva throw a fire poker at her, which missed and hit a wooden pole, “Touchy!”

While on the boat, Eva talked to the camera, “I guess my temper got the better of me. Again. But whatever. They just lost their fiercest competitor, I hope they realize that!”

Cut back to the nine remaining Bass cooking their marshmallows.

“To the Killer Bass!” Courtney said, “And to not ending up here next week.”

Cut to Owen in the woods, finally waking up.

“Uhhh, guys? Where’d you all go?”

—Voting: Duncan—

“Everyone’s saying we’re voting Eva. And to be honest, I’m too tired to argue.”

—Voting: Bridgette—

“After that whole freak out, Eva’s really the only option.”

—Voting: Courtney—

“For the safety and well being of everyone here, I’m voting for Eva.”

—Voting: Katie & Sadie—

“Eva’s really scary. Plus, she broke one of my makeup brushes.”

“Yeah, you can’t just do that!”

—Voting: Beth—

“Eva almost bit me when I touched her MP3 player. That’s really scary.”

—Voting: DJ—

“Eva seems like a total psycho, I gotta go with her.”

—Voting: Geoff—

“Sorry Eva, you just can’t seem to calm down.”

—Voting: Harold—

“Gosh, Eva’s really scary. If we don’t get rid of her now, I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to beat her once the teams merge.”

—Voting: Eva—

“Harold finished last in the 20k run. I’m voting for him. I just hope my team forgives me for my little stunt back there.”

Chapter Text

Recap:

“Last time on Total Drama Island, the Screaming Gophers kicked butt in the Awakeathon when Duncan took a snooze in the can, and the Killer Bass took their second loss in a row. Harsh. Heather orchestrated the first Total Drama Island alliance by convincing Lindsay and Tyler to join forces with her her, then pocketed Eva’s MP3 player and sat back to watch the fireworks. Nicely played, Heather. Nicely played. Even though Eva could’ve pretty much kicked everyone’s butt here, in the end, it was her temper that got her kicked off. She became the the second camper to ride the Boat of Losers. Will someone break the rules of their new alliance? Will Gwen be able to stay awake until the end of the episode? And who will take the next humiliating walk down the Dock of Shame? Stay tuned for the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, on Total Drama Island!”

-Theme song-

We open with everyone eating their food in the main lodge. Some people look like they’ve gotten over being tired, whereas others look sleepier than ever, with Duncan passed out on the table.

“Duncan!” Chris said, waking the delinquent, “You look like death, dude.”

“Stuff if.” he replied.

“Harold snored all night.” Courtney added.

“Wow, four nights with no sleep? How much are you hurting, dude?” Chris asked Duncan.

“Wanna find out!?”

“No, no. It’s cool, it’s cool.”

Just then, Harold walked in with a mustache drawn onto his face with a marker. Everyone looked on and laughed as Harold took his seat.

“Okay, what!?” Harold asked his team.

“Someone messed with your face, dude.” Geoff replied.

Harold then took a spoon and smiled at his reflection, “Hey, sweet stache.”

“Hey everyone, it’s Gwen!” Chris announced as she walked into the lodge looking as tired as ever while the Gophers cheered.

“Why are we clapping?” Lindsay asked Tyler.

“I’m so tired. I can’t feel my face.” Gwen said as her face hit the table.

—Confessional: Courtney—

“We are so sucking right now! Okay, yes, Eva was a psycho, but at least she was an athletic psycho!”

Heather turned to Tyler and Lindsay, “So, let’s go over the alliance rules one more time. Number 1: I am the captain of this alliance, so I get to make the rules. Number 2?”

“Breaking the rules can result in getting kicked out of the alliance.” Lindsay responded.

“Good. Number 3: I can borrow any of your stuff without asking, but my stuff is strictly off limits.” Heather said.

“I don’t know about that last rule….” Lindsay responded.

“That’s cool. I can change it. I can also find someone else to take to the final three with me.” the duo looked nervous and shook their heads at that, “Good. Wanna have some fun?”

Heather turned to the Bass table and said, “Hey fish heads! Way to kick out your strongest player! Why don’t you just give up now?”

Courtney used her spoon to sling some of her food, at Heather, but she moved out of the way, causing it to hit Gwen in the face as she was getting up.

“Missed me!”

“Okay campers, listen up! Your next challenge begins in ten minutes! And be prepared to bring it!” Chris said.

The camera cut to the beach, where everyone was inside a glass room with bleachers, a referee stand, and a dodgeball court. Duncan walked in last and immediately fell onto on the bleachers, “Wake me up, and it’ll be the last thing you do.” he said before going to sleep.

“This is all your fault, you know!” Courtney said while pointing to Harold, “You and your snoring face!”

“It’s called a medical condition, GOSH!” he responded as Chef blew his whistle.

“Today’s challenge is the classic game of dodgeball. The first rule of dodgeball is-“ Chris said before being cut off.

“Do not talk about dodgeball?” Noah said sarcastically, causing both him and Owen to chuckle.

“As I was saying,if you get hit with the ball,” Chris continued as he threw a ball at Courtney, “you’re out.”

“Ow! You can’t do that!” Courtney responded before throwing the ball back to Chris, who caught it.

“If you catch the ball, the thrower gets sent out and the catcher gets to bring in another team member out onto the court.” Chris said.

“Throwing balls, gee, another mentally challenging test.” Noah said sarcastically causing both him and Owen to smirk.

…only for Lindsay to unironically say “I know, right!?”

Owen and Noah both looked at her confused at that.

“Okay, now, Geoff!” Chris said as he threw the ball to Geoff, who caught it easily, “Try to hit me! If you’re holding a ball, you can use it to deflect a ball, but, if it knocks the ball out of your hands, you’re still out.”

“So, what do I do again when the ball comes at me?” Lindsay asked as Geoff threw his ball at Chris.

“You dodge!” Chris said as he deflected Geoff’s ball into Lindsay’s face, “Ooh, you were supposed to dodge!”

“Owww… right.” Lindsay said as she stood up, revealing a giant bump on her head.

“You have one minutes until game time. Gophers, you’ll have to sit one person out each game.”

“Okay, we can’t get lazy. The Killer Bass are gonna be trying extra hard to catch up.” Heather said, “Who wants to sit the first one out with sleeping beauty here?”

“Alright, I’ll volunteer.” Noah said sarcastically as he sat down on the bleachers, “Now let’s see all you keeners get out there and dodge!”

“I’m sitting out too. Can’t let a ball hit my gorgeous face. Or chest. Or stomach. Or knees. Or-“ Justin said.

“Yeah yeah, we get it.” Heather said.

Cut to the campers on the court. The Bass had DJ, Courtney, Katie, Beth, and Harold as their team, while the Gophers sent out Cody, Leshawna, Owen, Tyler, and Heather.

“Bring it on, fishies. Otherwise winning three in a row won’t be as satisfying.” Heather taunted.

“Yeah! You guys are going down! We’re gonna bring the dinner to the table, and then we’re gonna eat!” Tyler said, also as attempt to taunt. Everyone just looked at him confused.

“Both teams ready! Best of five games wins! Now, let’s dodge some ball!” Chris said as Chef blew his whistle.

Tyler threw his ball first. He spun around before so. And it hit Lindsay. Who was on his team. And also his kinda-sorta girlfriend. And wasn’t even playing.

“That’ll smear the makeup.” Chris said.

“Nice job.” Heather said before giving him her ball, “Now let’s see if you can hit someone on their team!”

Then, DJ rushed at Tyler and threw his ball, somehow knocking him all the way against the wall, causing him to groan in pain. Chef blew the whistle, signaling his out.

“Time to unleash my wicked skills!” Harold said.

“Yeah? Then bring it, Stringbean, let’s see what you got!” Leshawna said as she stepped forward.

Harold made various karate poses before slamming the ball onto the floor. It rolled about two inches. And then Leshawna picked it up. And threw it at him. It hit dead-on, causing Harold to slide into the wall.

“And that’s how we roll!” Leshawna said before high fiving Owen. Then Katie threw the ball and hit Heather in the face.

Meanwhile, back at the bleachers, Tyler apologized for hitting Lindsay with the ball.

“Aww, it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to.” Lindsay said sweetly.

“Thank God, I was worried you were mad at me.” Tyler responded.

“I am.” Heather said as she sat down, “What the heck was that!? I thought you jocks were supposed to be good at dodgeball!”

“Yeah, well… I am! I just… had a bad round.” he said.

Courtney threw a ball at Owen, only for him to catch it and bring Gwen into the game. And then Beth immediately hit her as she walked onto the court.

“Oh, sorry!” Beth yelled out.

“It’s cool, trust me.” Gwen responded as she sat back down.

Eventually, it came down to just Cody and Leshawna Vs. DJ and Katie, who managed to get catch Leshawna off guard and get her out. Cody looked nervous now that it was 2-on-1.

“Easy out guys, easy out.” Courtney said, only for Cody to curve his ball as he threw it, causing it to boomerang around and hit DJ.

“Now that’s a tough ball to dodge.” Chris said.

Cody then picked up a ball and rapidly rubbed it on his shirt, causing to get charged with static electricity and home in on Katie no matter how much she tried to run, this having the Gophers win the first game.

Cut to the Bass all huddled around, “We can do this! We just have to believe in ourselves!” Harold told the group.

“Oh, I believe. I believe you suck!” Courtney told Harold.

Meanwhile, the Gophers were also all huddled up, and Tyler said, “Sorry about last round, guys. It was a warm up throw, I can still dominate this game! Just give all the balls to me!”

“Fine, just aim for the other side.” Heather said before turning back to Noah, “Alright Noah, you’re up.”

“Y’know, you guys did such an awesome job on the last game that I don’t wanna mess up your mojo.” he said before turning back to his book.

“Fine. Justin, you’re in.” Heather said as she turned to Justin.

“Ooh, no can do. I gotta stay here. We wouldn’t want me to get hit and everyone to miss out on staring at my gorgeous physique.” he replied.

“Uugghh, whatever! We’ll just put Owen in again.” Heather said angrily.

The Gophers sent in Tyler, Owen, Lindsay, Trent, and Izzy, while the Bass put in Katie, Sadie, Bridgette, Geoff, and Beth. The Gophers gave every ball to Tyler, and he  charged up his throws.

The balls managed to hit Chef, Chris, the bleachers, and eventually Lindsay again.

“Noooo!” Tyler yelled as he ran over to her.

“Tyler?” Lindsay asked as she got back up, “My face, how’s my face?”

“It’s really… not that bad!” Tyler said despite Lindsay having yet another bruise on her face, “You still look great!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really!”

Katie and Sadie then threw balls at them both, which they didn’t seem to notice despite it hitting them. Heather just looked at her alliance members, dumbfounded.

“You wanna go for a walk?” Tyler asked Lindsay.

“Okay!” she replied as the two left the building while Heather looked at them in shock.

“Get back here!” she called out.

“Great Gatsby, that is it! Game on!” Owen yelled as he managed hit Katie and Sadie with just one ball and Beth and Bridgette with another, before letting out a battle cry as another ball hit Geoff square in the face.

“Ouch, that one’s worth an instant replay.” Chris said before rewinding an fast forwarding the clip of Geoff getting hit.

“Ooh, he dropped it like it was hot!” Leshawna said.

“Ha, I dunno what got into me!” Owen said as Izzy and Trent cheered him on.

“I’m glad someone is trying today. Unlike you two.” Heather said before turning to Noah and Justin.

“Oh, I am trying. Trying to look my best. It’s harder than it looks, y’know.” Justin said.

“Hey, we’re winning, aren’t we? I doubt me being out there would necessarily help us.” Noah said.

“Nice team spirit.” Heather said sarcastically, before turning to the Bass and saying, “Hey! It’s 2-0! How does it feel to suck so much?”

“Not very good.” Harold admitted.

“It’s not over yet!” Courtney said before looking at the other team and mumbling to herself, “It’s so over….”

The Bass huddled around again.

“Okay, this is really bad. One more game, and we lose the whole challenge! Again! We can’t let that people. We need someone strong, someone mean, someone who will crush those stupid Gophers into the dirt!” Courtney said as the team looked over at the sleeping Duncan.

“Uh-uh. If we wake him up, he’ll kill us!” DJ said worriedly.

“He won’t kill us, guys. He wants to win too!” Courtney said.

“Courtney’s right. We need Duncan’s fierceness to win this!” Harold said.

“That’s the spirit, Harold! Now go wake him up.” Courtney said sternly.

“Why me?”

“Because, other than Tyler, you’re the worst at dodgeball. And if he does kill you, you’re the only one we can afford to lose. No offense.”

“No way! I’m not doing it!”

“Well, then who’s gonna wake him up?”

Cut to the Bass all collectively holding a giant stick as they tried to poke Duncan with it, before accidentally putting it up his nose. Duncan woke up and grabbed the stick, easily snapping it in half.

“You better have a really good reason for sticking this up my nose.” Duncan said.

“Look, we are down 2-0. I can appreciate that you need a little nap time, but we need your help.” Courtney said.

“Oh, and why should I help you, darling?” Duncan aggressively asked.

“Because, I can personally guarantee you, that if we lose this game, you’ll be the one going home. Darling.” she replied sternly.

Duncan sighed, “Fine. I’ll play. On one condition. You do what I say, when I say it. Okay, here’s a strategy I picked up during my first visit to juvie. It’s called, “Rush the New Guy”.”

Duncan, Courtney, Geoff, Katie, and DJ stepped into the court for the Bass, while Izzy, Owen, Leshawna, Trent, and Cody stepped in for the Gophers. After the Gophers threw all the balls onto their side, which the Bass all dodged, they picked them all up and threw all of them directly at Owen at the same time, easily knocking him out as the Bass cheered.

As he heard the Bass cheer so quickly into the game, Noah looked up from his book, and saw the Bass quickly do the same to Leshawna and Cody. Begrudgingly, he put down his book and grabbed a pen and clipboard and began to take notes about what the Bass were doing.

With ease, the Bass used the same strategy to get Izzy and Trent out, scoring them their first win of the day, a flawless one at that.

“I think we should do the same strategy again. So Harold, sit this one out.” Courtney said.

“But I sat the last one out!” Harold said.

“It’s for the good of the team.”

Harold sadly nodded and sat back down.

Meanwhile, Heather was talking to the Gophers.

“Okay, not that Justin or Noah care-“ she began.

“I care, trust me.” Noah interrupted, but Heather ignored him and continued.

“But we are not losing another game to these guys, got it!? And where are Lindsay and Tyler!? Ugh!” she yelled as she went off to go find them.

“Okay, guys, I know I haven’t been doing much, but I need you five to go out there again.” he said while looking at Leshawna, Izzy, Cody, Trent, and Owen, “I’m trying to keep track of their strategy to see if I can find any holes in it. If we lose this game, I’ll come up with a way to take them down next game.”

“Alright, fine. But you better come up with something good.” Leshawna said as they went onto the court.

Cut to Heather walking to the Dock, and finding Lindsay and Tyler sitting on the sand under it.

“What are you guys doing!?” she asked.

“I’m sorry!” Lindsay said.

“Hey, just chill out, Heather.” Tyler said.

“Why don’t you dodge this!?” Heather said as she lifted a canoe over her head and threw it onto Tyler.

“Ow!” he yelled from inside of the canoe.

Cut to Heather walking back with Lindsay and Tyler, “You two sit there until it’s your turn to play.”

“Okay….” Lindsay said sadly.

“How are we doing?” Heather asked as she saw Trent get knocked out, scoring another point for the Bass.

“Pretty terribly.” Noah replied.

“This is unacceptable!” Heather yelled.

“Calm down, I’ve figured it out. See, they always wait for us to throw the balls to them, then throw all of them at one person while blocking any exit for them.” Noah informed the team while showing them his clipboard, “So, the best way to go against them is to do the same thing. If we focus all the balls onto one of them at the start, they’ll have less hands to block their target’s exit. If we see them going for you, we need to all get over there and catch the balls. You all got that?”

“Well. It’s worth a shot. I guess. This better work.” Heather said.

“Okay, this is it! The final tie-breaking game!” Chris said.

“Go, team, go.” Justin said uncaringly while looking at himself in the mirror.

Cut to the Bass all huddled up, “Okay, who’s going in?” Duncan asked.

“I think it’s my turn.” Harold said.

“No way! We actually have a chance to win this!” Courtney said, before Harold nodded sadly and sat back down.

Gwen, Cody, Heather, Lindsay, and Noah got on the court for the Gophers, while Sadie, Geoff, Bridgette, Courtney, and Duncan got on the field for the Bass.

“Gophers, Bass, let’s send this sample to the lab, and see what your made of!” Chris said as Chef blew the whistle.

With both teams using the same strategy, it was incredibly back and forth. People were constantly getting out, catching, getting back in, and the cycle continued. All the while Justin stayed on the Bleachers, before eventually a ball hit him and he screamed, “Aagghh! My beautiful face!” causing his teammates to laugh.

Eventually, when Geoff caught a ball, he decided to give Harold a chance and tag him in, but Duncan told him to stay at the back of the court. Eventually, someone threw a ball at Gwen, but Cody sacrificed himself to save her by jumping in its way to save her, only to for the ball to hit his crotch. The game kept going back and forth for awhile, but eventually, the only people left standing were Owen and Harold.

Harold and the Bass were incredibly worried, whereas Owen and the Gophers were incredibly confident.

“Sorry dude, but you gotta go down.” Owen said.

“Goodnight, Harold.” Duncan said.

Owen threw five balls at Harold, only for him to expertly dodge and weave through all of them, to the shock of everyone.

“Woah.” Noah said.

—Confessional: Noah—

“Geez, if I knew Harold was a masterclass at dodging, I would’ve factored that into my strategy. Ugh, they might still be able to win this.”

“Timeout! Timeout!” Courtney called, and Chef obliged as Harold went to the bleachers.

“Man, that boy’s got dodge! Where’d you learn to do that?” Duncan asked as Bridgette sprayed one of those shooty water bottles into his mouth.

“Figure skating.” Harold responded.

“Harold, that was awesome!” Geoff said, “But dodging isn’t enough.

“He’s right. To win this, you either have to throw him out-“ Courtney began.

“Which we all know you can’t do.” Duncan said.

“Or catch the ball.” Courtney continued, “Can you do it?”

“Definitely!” Harold said.

“Awesome! Now go catch that ball!” Sadie said.

The Gophers cheered for Owen while the Bass cheered on Harold. Owen threw the ball and Harold was slammed back against the wall. The Bass were worried at first, but Harold held up his hand and revealed that he had successfully caught the ball, winning the Bass their first ever challenge.

“The Killer Bass win!” Chris shouted. As the Bass cheered for Harold.

“It’s impossible! Whyyyyyy!?” Owen cried out.

“Nice dodge, skater nerd.” Duncan said as the Bass carried Harold out of the court.

“Gophers, what happened?” Chris asked.

“Someone failed to account for that dweeb.” Justin said smugly while looking towards Noah.

“Hey, at least I tried to come up with a plan! That’s more than you did!” Noah said before walking out of the room with most of the rest of the team.

“Touchy.” Justin said, before realizing that Owen, Trent, and Cody were staring disapprovedly at him, “What? His plan completely backfired. Sounds like a great reason to vote him off.”

—Confessional: Harold—

“I guess I’m kind of role model now that I won the dodgeball competition.” he pulled out a bag of potato chips and began eating them, “People will probably all want my autograph once the show is over and stuff.”

—Confessional: Heather—

“We could blame anyone for today’s loss. Lindsay and Tyler left halfway through the competition, but I need to keep them in for the alliance. Thankfully, Justin didn’t do anything and Noah’s plan failed. I plan to vote for Noah. He’s a smart person, he could totally be a major threat.”

—Confessional: Noah—

“I thought my strategy would’ve worked out, but expect the unexpected, I guess. I really wanna say Justin’s a bigger target than me since he didn’t do anything, but I can’t be certain. Just gotta hope for the best, I guess.”

Cut to the campfire ceremony, with the Gophers on the stumps and the Bass in the Peanut Gallery, “Y’know, these seats are way comfier. Let’s try to only be here from now on.” Beth said as the her teammates nodded.

“Campers. You’ve already placed your votes and made your decision. One of you will be going home. And you can’t come back. Ever.” Chris began, “If I call out your name, be prepared to catch your marshmallow. Owen.”

Owen of course caught it in his mouth.

“Gwen.”

“Cody.”

“Trent.”

“Heather.”

“Leshawna.”

“Izzy.”

“Lindsay.”

“Tyler.

Everyone gave out sighs of relief as they caught their marshmallows, leaving just Justin and Noah. Noah looked somewhat nervous, while Justin was completely calm and smiling.

“The final marshmallow goes to…”

…

…

…

…

…

“Noah!”

“Oh thank God.” he said as he caught his marshmallow.

“What, are you kidding me!?” Justin asked shocked, “Whatever, see if I care! This game just become 95% less gorgeous!”

Everyone threw their marshmallow at him in annoyance.

“Uugghh, whatever.” Justin said as he walked towards the Boat of Losers.

“Alright, that may have been the most dramatic Campfire Ceremony so far. Either way, I still get paid.” Chris laughed as he signed off the episode.

—Voting: Owen—

“Y’know, Justin may be great to look at, but he really didn’t help today. At all.”

—Voting: Gwen—

“Justin can’t just rely on his good looks to get far. He’s actually gotta try.”

—Voting: Cody—

“Justin didn’t do anything today. Plus, he’s a threat when it comes to getting with the ladies. He’s gotta go.”

—Voting: Trent—

“Even if Noah’s plan didn’t really work out, at least he tried. That’s more than I can say for Justin.”

—Voting: Heather—

“Noah’s smart. He could really be a threat later in the game. Hopefully everyone else sees that too.”

—Voting: Leshawna—

“I told that turkey that his plan better work, and it didn’t. Justin’s better to look at, so I’m voting for Noah.”

—Voting: Izzy—

“Noah’s a funny guy. And Justin did nothing today! Plus, I don’t even get why everyone thinks he’s so hot.”

—Voting: Lindsay—

“Heather told me to vote for Noah. Can’t think of a reason to not.”

—Voting: Tyler—

“I’m just happy the target on my back went away after everything with Noah and Justin. Anyway, Heather told me Noah’s more of a threat.”

—Voting: Noah-

“My plan really didn’t work out today. And I get the feeling some people here might find me annoying. But hopefully they’ll see me as more of asset then whatever Justin is.”

—Voting: Justin—

“Noah’s plan failed, he’s gone. Nobody’s gonna vote for me, I’m too beautiful.”

Chapter Text

Recap:
“Last time on Total Drama Island, the Killer Bass finally dodged their pathetic losing streak against the Screaming Gophers. There were bruises, tears, risky moves, and dangerous alliances. Noah tried to help his team make a comeback against Duncan’s strategy, but didn’t see Harold’s mad dodging skills coming. But in the end, Justin the eye candy’s refusal to play the entire time sent him packing. This week, another challenge will send one more camper on a cruise to Loserville, Population: Four. Who will sink? And who will stay afloat? Find out on Total Drama Island!”

-Theme Song-

We open inside of the girls side of the Screaming Gophers cabin.

“Okay, this is so way beyond bad! I’m all out of fake tanner already!” Lindsay said.

“Woah, that’s tragic, Lindsay.” Gwen said sarcastically.

“Now I have to actually, like, suntan! In the sun! Do you realize how shriveled and wrinkly that can make your skin?” Lindsay asked as Gwen lazily fixed her hair with just her hand, “Oh, you totally do!”

“Alright campers, enough beauty sleep!” Chris said over the intercom, “Time to show us what you’re made of!”

Cut to all the remaining campers sitting on the bleachers in front of an amphitheater.

“Are we gonna see a musical? I love musicals! Especially the ones with singing and dancing!” Lindsay said.

“Gwen!” Trent said as he began waving to her, “Saved you a seat.”

“Thanks.” she said.

Heather eyed them suspiciously as Trent lounged back in his seat. Cody came up and sat next to Trent while doing the same, only to fall backwards while still trying to look cool.

Lindsay gave Tyler a kiss on the cheek, before Heather slapped her with herponytail, “Pay attention, you two. Chris could show up and explain at any moment.”

Right on cue, Chris did just that, “Welcome to our brand new, deluxe, state of the art, outdoor amphitheater. Okay, today’s challenge is a summer camp favorite, a talent contest!”

“Yes! Awesome!” Owen yelled.

“Each team has eight hours to pick their three most talented campers. These three will represent them in the show tonight. Sing, dance, juggle, anything goes! As long as it’s legal.” Chris said while eyeing Duncan and Izzy, both of which looked disappointed, “You’ll be judged by our resident talent scout, former DJ, VJ, and rap legend, Grand Master Chef, who will show his approval via the Chef-O-Meter.”

Chris pointed to a blackboard behind it that had Chef’s face and ten boxes drawn on it, “The team that loses will send one camper home tonight. Good luck.” Chris said before walking off stage.

Cut to Heather blowing a whistle as her team sat on their cabin’s steps.” Okay, I’m the team captain, so-“ Heather said before getting cut off.

“Wait, who declared you team captain?” Noah asked.

“She did, just now.” Lindsay responded.

“Lindsay, Tyler, and I took a vote, and I won.” Heather said.

“Threatening them to vote for you isn’t exactly democratic.” Gwen said.

“Hey, snagged you an extra muffin.” Trent whispered to Gwen as he handed her the muffin, which she smiled at.

Heather looked at Trent smugly and asked, “Trent, you’re cool with me leading this project, aren’t you?”

“Right on, go for it.” he responded.

“Good. Tyler, Lindsay, and I will be the judges.”

“Ugh, whatever.” Gwen said.

Cut to the Bass auditioning to each other, with Katie and Sadie currently dancing to some generic pop song, much to the rest of their team’s indifference.

Cut back to the Gophers, where Owen is auditioning by chugging an entire bottle of sparkling water.

“Are you gonna audition?” Trent asked Gwen.

“No.” Gwen replied, “You should be in this, though. I heard you the other night by the dock. You’re really good.”

Owen finished chugging his sparkling water and then burped then entire ABCs in one go, causing Trent, Tyler, Cody, and Izzy to cheer.

“That was excellent, man.” said Trent.

“Well, you’re not going to do that in this contest, that’s disgusting!” Heather said.

“Do you know how hard it is to belch the entire alphabet in one go?” Trent asked Heather.

“I can also toot Beethoven’s Fifth!” Owen said, before everyone collectively yelled “No!”

Gwen got up and began waking away.

“Where are you going?” Heather asked.

“Anywhere that’s not here.” she responded.

Cut back to the Bass, where Beth is twirling fire batons.

“Are you sure this is safe!?” Courtney asked worriedly.

“It’s okay, I’ve been practicing!” Beth assured them, as she tossed her fire batons up into the air and expertly caught them without so much as breaking a sweat, “Ta-da!”

“That looked really dangerous.” Courtney said, “But, Chef is judging this, and he loves danger, so… fine, you’re in. Just be careful.”

“Yes!” Beth said, “I won’t let you down!”

Cut back to the Gophers, where Heather is daintily doing a ballet dance as everyone claps.

“Thank you!” she says before looking back to Lindsay and Tyler, “Ahem!”

“Oh, I vote for Heather to be in the contest!” Lindsay said.

“I second that.” Tyler says.

“Guys, that’s so sweet! Okay, so I guess I’m in. Why doesn’t everyone take five?” Heather says as she pulls Lindsay aside, “I need you to do something. Can you keep a secret?”

“Oh my gosh, definitely! My sister got diarrhea once on a date, and I had to bring her toilet paper because the restaurant was all out, and she was stuck in the bathroom, and I’ve never told a soul!” Lindsay responded before realizing there was a camera recording everything she just said, “Oops. Sorry, Paula.”

Heather handed Lindsay a walkie-talkie before saying, “Gwen is up to something serious. I want you to follow her and report back to me.” and smilingly evilly.

Cut to Lindsay spying on Gwen with binoculars, “Serious? Yeah, seriously boring!”

She then turned her binoculars and saw Tyler walking by before zooming in on him and saying, “Ooh, that’s not boring!”

Cut to the Bass.

“Alright, who’s up?” Courtney asked.

“Ooh, me! I can stand on my hands for twenty minutes, watch!” she said as she did a handstand.

“Okay, that would be cute if you were a monkey, I just don’t think it’s quite what we’re looking for. Next!” Courtney said.

Harold walked up and took in a breath of air, only for Courtney to immediately say, “Next!”

“Gosh!” Harold said as she walked back.

Cut to the communal washroom, where Heather’s voice came through her walkie-talkie, “Lindsay, come in! What did you find out? Over!”

Unbeknownst to her, Lindsay and Tyler were currently making out on the counter. Tyler reached over to give Lindsay her walkie-talkie as Heather asked, “Lindsay! Where are you? And where is Tyler? Over!”

“Uh, on my way back! Under!” Lindsay said as she and Tyler ran back to the cabins.

Cut to Geoff doing some epic skateboard tricks to impress the Bass. …only for him to break the board in half on his final trick.

“Aww, dang it!” he yelled.

“Ugh, okay, anyone else?” Courtney asked as DJ walked up and began ribbon twirling, which everyone applauded.

“Fine, sign him up. I’ll play my violin for the show, too. So DJ’s ribbon thing, Beth’s baton thing, and my violin solo.” Courtney said.

“Dang, I missed my chance to be in TV.” Geoff said sadly.

“You’re already on TV, Geoff.” Bridgette told him.

“Oh yeah.” he said before running up to the camera, “Hello out there, dudes!”

Cut to Izzy playing a song on the boombox as she began doing a strange dance.

“I call this… the Dance of the Rattlesnake!” she said as she made random wind noises that seemed to put Owen under a trance, “Look into my eyes, what do you see?”

She then just started making random noises, causing Owen to laugh and Noah to look on in confusion.

“She’s good!” Owen said.

“Alright dudes, check this out!” Tyler said as he placed a plank of wood onto two cinderblocks.

“Great, let’s watch him fail to chop a board. This’ll be good.” Noah said. …only for Tyler to merely flick the board and snap it in half, shocking everyone, “…alright yeah, that was good.”

—Confessional: Tyler—

“I have wicked strong fingers. Docs can’t explain it. My first piano lesson, I broke the piano. Got into sports after that.”

“Alright, fine. I guess it’s me, Trent, and Tyler. Any objections?” Heather said as everyone shook their heads.

Cut to Gwen writing in her diary in the middle of the forest as Cody walked up behind her.

“Whatcha got there, a journal?” he asked as he sat down next to her.

“Beat it.” she replied.

“Oh, I get it. Yeah it’s private, huh? I’m down with that. It’s cool, brah.” he said, oblivious to Gwen’s annoyance as he tried to look over her shoulder.

“What part of ‘beat it’ don’t you understand?” Gwen asked sternly.

Cody then decided go sniff her hair.

“What are you, some kind of freak?” she said as she quickly got up.

“You just… smell… really pretty.”

“It’s just… soap.”

Cut to Gwen walking back to the cabins past a guitar playing Trent as Cody followed her.

Cody ran up and opened the cabin door for her, prompting Heather to sarcastically say, “Look, the first hook-up of the series!”

“Oh yeah, we’re going at it big time. I’ll need a swim just to cool off.” Gwen sarcastically responded as she slammed the door in Cody’s face and locked it. Cody tried to look in through the door, only for it to once again get slammed in his face as Gwen walked out in her bathing suit.

“Gwen, wait up!” Trent said, “I’ll come with you.”

“Sure!” Gwen responded, “Uh, I mean, whatever.”

Lindsay was about to go with them before Heather stopped her, “You. Stay here. We’ve got something to find.”

Cut to the Bass chilling at the amphitheater. Courtney was practicing her violin while Beth was practicing her baton throws and Geoff, Bridgette, Katie, Sadie, Harold, DJ, and Duncan were playing cards.

“So, can you really stand on your hands for twenty minutes?” Geoff asked Bridgette.

“Wanna bet that I can’t?” she responded.

“Oh, you’re on!” he said back.

“I’ll take a piece of that action!” Harold added.

“Yeah, that’s like virtually impossible.” DJ added.

“Empty up.” Bridgette said.

Everyone put their bets on the table.

“Okay, twenty minutes, starting… now!” Bridgette said as she began her handstand. Just because she could, she also started hand walking, much to everyone’s amusement. Unfortunately, her leg got caught up in a string that was holding up a light, which fell and broke Courtney’s violin.

“Oh crap!” Bridgette yelled.

Cut to Courtney sitting backstage with Katie and Sadie as Bridgette walked up.

“You… you killed my violin!” Courtney said.

“I didn’t mean to! There must be something we can do!” Bridgette grabbed the violin in attempt to fix it, only for it to shatter even more, making Courtney even more upset.

Cut to the Gopher cabin, where Heather told Lindsay to “Stand Guard. And if you see Gwen coming, warn me.” as she closed the cabin door.

“Okay!” Lindsay responded.

Meanwhile, Gwen and Trent were sitting down at the dock.

“Sometimes, I just need to get away from everyone here, y’know? It’s like they’re all driving me crazy. Well, almost all of them.” Gwen said blushing.

“Aw c’mon, Gwen. Not everyone here is that bad. Owen, Izzy, and Leshawna are pretty fun, and Noah’s not too bad once you get know him.” Trent responded.

“I guess. But they’re all just a bit much sometimes, y’know?”

“I can see that. At least we’re both pretty chill.”

“Yeah.”

Just then, Owen, Cody, Izzy, and Noah all ran by and jumped into the water, most of them yelling, “Cannonball!” which caused a bunch of water to splash on Gwen.

“Ugh! I hate this place!” Gwen said as she got up and stormed off.

“Nice going, guys.” Trent said upset before getting up and walking away.

“In hindsight, we probably should’ve jumped off the other side.” Noah said to the others.

Cut to Heather throwing stuff all over the cabin, “Okay, if I were a secret diary, where would I be stashed?”

Lindsay was braiding her hair as Gwen walked by. “Hey, Gwen.”

Just then, she realized what she was supposed to and got up to block her, “Gwen! It’s you! Hi! What are you doing here, outside the cabin, Gwen?” she said very loudly so Heather could hear her, which she could.

“Trying to get into the cabin?” Gwen responded.

“Ohhh, you’re trying to get into the cabin! That’s very interesting!” Lindsay said as Heather began searching at an even faster pace.

Gwen began walking around Lindsay before she said, “Wait! Stay here! We can… get tans together! And you can totally use one.”

Just then, Heather successfully found Gwen’s diary and put it in her pocket, “Yes! She is so dead!”

“Are you gonna move? Or do I have to throw you out of my way?” Gwen said to Lindsay sternly.

“You can try, but I have martial arts training!” Lindsay said as she made a random karate pose.

Gwen just snarled at her.

“Okay, you can go in.” Lindsay said, scared, “Look, Gwen’s back!”

“Hi Gwen! Did you have a good swim?” Heather asked, trying to seem as inconspicuous as possible.

“What is going on in here?” Gwen asked while looking around the cabin.

“Nothing, just resting before the big show. Are you always so paranoid?” Heather asked as she walked out.

“Yeah, really?” Lindsay asked before happily waving goodbye to Gwen.

Cut to the backstage of the amphitheater, where Tyler, DJ, Trent, Beth, and Heather were readying up, while Courtney looked concerned about what to do.

“Okay.” Bridgette said to Courtney while eating a bag of chips, “I know my handstand isn’t as good as your violin, but I can do this!”

“Bridgette, too bad about the accident.” Heather said as she walked up to them, “I guess you’re going to get your screentime after all, huh?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Bridgette asked sternly.

“Oh, nothing. Nobody would sabotage their own teammate. Unless they maybe felt threatened.”

“Hey! Maybe that’s how you Gophers operate, but the Killer Bass have more class than that. We’re a team.”

“Well, I guess you’ll go down as a team, too. Oh, and easy on the chips. You don’t wanna sink that surfboard of yours, do you?” Heather said before Bridgette threw the bag at her face.

—Confessional: Heather—

“What a bunch of losers. It’s so easy, it’s almost not fun. Almost.”

“It’s the TDI talent extravaganza!” Chris announced on the mic as the show began, “Welcome to the very first Camp Wawanakwa talent contest, where six campers will showcase their mad skills and desperately try not to humiliate themselves. First up for the Screaming Gophers is Tyler!”

The Gophers applauded as he went on stage. His performance was simple, as he stacked three boards together and flicked them, shattering them with ease.

“Nice work, man.” Chris said as he went on stage, “What do you think, Chef?”

“I give it a seven out of ten.” he said.

“Alright, first you for the Killer Bass, make some noise for the big guy, DJ!”

The Bass applauded as DJ began with ribbon twirling. He started pretty good, but accidentally tripped near the end.

“Dainty, and yet masculine. Let’s see we Grand Master Chef thinks.” Chris said.

“Tch, I give it a two. Don’t trip next time, softie.” Chef said.

“So with two down and four to go, the Gophers are screaming ahead. Next on deck, Trent. Take it away, my bro.”

Trent got up on stage to applause as he sat his stool down, “This one goes out to someone special here at camp.” he said as he began his song.

They say that we’ve only got summer

And I say, that’s really a bummer

But we’ll swim in the sun, and have lots of fun!

It’ll just be the two of us

Nothing to do, but just hang,

So let me say, only this,

And stick around, for just one kiss

Everyone applauded, with Gwen especially loving it, although she tried not to show it too much.

“Nice work, I’m liking your style, dude! But what about Grand Master Chef?” Chris asked.

“I give that a solid nine. Nice work, kid.” Chef said.

“Alright, quit hogging my light, buddy.” Chris said as he shoved Trent off the stage, “Three down and three to go and the Killer Bass are totally sucking so far. Let’s hear it for Beth!”

“You got this, right Beth?” Courtney asked.

“Totally! This’ll be no sweat.” Beth told her before getting on stage and getting the same applause from her teammates DJ had gotten before.

Beth’s act started out really well, with her twirling and lighting the batons with relative ease. All was going great, up until the final throw.

—Confessional: Beth—

“In hindsight, I really should’ve realized that the curtains might’ve been flammable.”

From that point, everything went awfully. Beth’s batons brushed past the curtains, lighting fire to them the whole way down. Everyone began to panic and run (except for Izzy, who cheered at the chaos), and eventually the on-site cleanup team brought in a bunch of fire extinguishers and put the fire out. Unfortunately, the amphitheater was nothing but a pile of ash by that point. Eventually, everyone reconvened at the the bleachers.

“So, uh… that happened.” Chris said as he stood in the grass where the amphitheater previously was, “Grand Master Chef, do you, uh… do you have any thoughts…?”

“Yeah, I have some thoughts.” he said as he turned his attention to Beth, “I spent nearly a whole day setting this whole thing up! And you just burned it all down like it was nothing! Now I’m gonna have to build another one! Zero out of ten! I’d remove points if I could!”

Beth, naturally, looked sad at this information.

“Well, uh, that settles that.” Chris said, “Uhh, just two people left then. Heather, you’re up.”

Heather walked up to where the stage once was and sat on a stool, “Originally, I was going to dance for you, but instead, I want to celebrate team spirit with a collaboration.” she said with a wicked smile as she pulled out Gwen’s diary.

“She wouldn’t…!” Gwen said in shock while everyone else wasn’t sure what book she was holding.

“So, with words by Gwen, performance by me, enjoy. ‘Okay, so I’m trying to ignore him, but he’s just so cute! If they had custom ordered someone to be a distraction for me here, it would’ve been McHottie.’”

Everyone began to gasp in shock, while Cody smiled as he assumed the diary was talking about him.

“‘We just totally connect.’” Heather continued, “‘He’s pretty much the only guy I can relate to here, and I know it’s a cliche, but I love guys who play guitar.’”

“Wait, I don’t play guitar.” Cody said before looking and Trent and sighing dejectedly, “Oh….”

At this point, Gwen ran off. Satisfied with her work, Heather closed the diary with a “Thank you.”

Everyone remained silent for awhile. Nobody was sure what to say, until eventually….

“You know you just painted a massive target on your back if we lose, right?” Noah said.

“Whatever. It’d take a miracle for us to lose this.” Heather said as she went back to her seat. Everyone immediately scooted away from her.

“Well, alright. Chef, how many points does that earn?” Chris asked.

“Zero. That was just messed up.” he replied.

“Well then, it’s down to the final act of the night.” Chris said, “Come on out here, Bridgette!”

“Umm, just a second, Chris.” Courtney said from where she, Katie, Sadie, and Bridgette were sitting, “Are you sure you can still do this, Bridgette?”

“Uuuggghhh… I’m not sure….” she said as she was keeled over, clutching her stomach, “I might not be able to… oh no….”

Bridgette then got up and ran over to a nearby bush and puked into it. Apparently, eating junk food and standing upside for awhile can make you nauseous. Katie and Sadie immediately ran over to help her out.

“Well, that throws a wrench into things. Killer Bass, do you have anyone else who could maybe preform, or do you forfeit?”

Courtney looked around at her options. Her violin was broken, Geoff’s skateboard was broken, Beth and DJ had already preformed, Bridgette was puking into a bush and needed Katie and Sadie’s help, and Duncan couldn’t do anything that was legal. That left her with only one option.

Cut to Harold standing in front of everyone with a mic stand.

“Just… go for it, Harold! What have you got to lose?” Courtney asked nervously.

Nobody was expecting much. But they should’ve. Harold began beatboxing the best beatbox any human being had ever beatboxed. It was a legendary moment for everyone to witness. Once he finished it off with a “Booyah.”, everyone was too stunned to speak for a moment. And then everyone cheered. Not just everyone from the Bass, everyone from the Gophers as well. They were too impressed to not cheer.

“That was beautiful. 10. A perfect 10.” Chef said as he wiped a tear from his eye.

The Bass all ran over and lifted up Harold just like they did at the dodgeball game.

“Well, that settles that then. The winners of the talent show are…” Chris began, “…the Screaming Gophers!”

“What!?” all the Bass yelled in unison.

“What? The it’s determined by the overall number of points, not the individual best score. The Gophers had 16 points, you guys only had 12.” Chris informed them, “So Bass, pick your favorite loser, and I’ll see you at the bonfire tonight.”

The Bass looked shocked.

Cut to the Bass all sitting at the Campfire Ceremony.

“Kudos to you all for an incredible night of entertainment! Well, except for you, Heather.” Chris said.

“Tch, whatever.” Heather said from the Peanut Gallery.

“Anyway, this plate has eight marshmallows on it, and yet there are still nine Bass. The following players are safe: Harold.”

Harold caught his marshmallow, and grinned happily.

“Katie.”

“Sadie.”

“Duncan.”

“Courtney.”

“Geoff.”

“DJ.”

As usual, everyone let out a sigh of relief as they caught their marshmallow. Meanwhile, Bridgette and Beth both looked very nervous.

“Bridgette, you could be going home because you broke Courtney’s violin. Maybe if she had been able to play it, you guys could’ve won. Or maybe not, who knows.” Chris said while Bridgette looked sad.

“And Beth. You’re officially classified as an arsonist now.” Chris said as Beth frowned.

“Hey, welcome to the club!” Izzy said from the Peanut Gallery. Everyone looked shocked, but not too shocked at this point.

“Anyway,” Chris continued, “the final marshmallow goes to…”

…

…

…

…

…

“Bridgette!”

Bridgette let out a massive sigh of relief as she caught her marshmallow.

“Aww, man.” Beth said.

“Sorry, Beth.” Courtney said.

“No, no, I get it. Sorry about the stage.” Beth said as she walked down the dock. Everyone looked a little sad to see her go.

—Confessional: Tyler—

“Y’know, after that whole diary thing today, I’m beginning to wonder if my alliance with Heather is really such a good thing….”

—Confessional: Gwen—

“If that evil little cow Heather thinks she’s getting away with this, she’s got another thing coming.”

Cut to Gwen knocking on the door of the boys side of the Bass Cabin as Harold opened the door.

“Didn’t you say you brought a red ant farm with you?” she asked.

“Yes.” he responded.

Cut to Heather running out of the cabin screaming with red ants in her hair while everyone watched from their windows and laughed.

“Sweet dreams, everyone.” Gwen said to the camera before chuckling.

—Voting: Harold—

“I guess I’ll go with Beth since she burned down the stage. Not like there’s a better option.”

—Voting: Katie & Sadie—

“Sorry, Beth, it’s kinda your fault we lost.”

“Yeah, we’re really sorry about this.”

—Voting: Duncan—

“Eh, I never cared much for her anyway.”

—Voting: Courtney—

“Even though Bridgette broke my violin, she’s still my friend. I guess I’ll go with Beth.”

—Voting: Geoff—

“Sorry, Beth, I really don’t know who else to vote for.”

—Voting: DJ—

“Honestly, if we keep Beth around, I’m worried Chef is gonna hold a grudge against her. This might be for the best.”

—Voting: Bridgette—

“I’m sorry, Beth. I can’t think of anyone else.”

—Voting: Beth—

“I guess I’ll go for Bridgette. I don’t know. I’m probably getting sent home today anyway.”

Chapter Text

Recap:
“Last time on Total Drama Island, a talent contest brought out the worst in our campers. It was awesome! The Killer Bass struggled to find any talent on their team, and Bridgette’s clumsiness pretty much knocked out their best act, Courtney. Gwen stood up to Heather, so Heather swore to make Gwen’s life miserable by stealing her diary, then reading it in front of the entire viewing world, revealing that Gwen has a secret crush on someone at camp. But in the end, despite a killer beatboxing performance by Harold, the Bass still lost since Beth accidentally burned down the stage, and she got sent packing. Who will be the next to walk down this crappy dock? Find out tonight, in the most dramatic marshmallow ceremony yet, on Total Drama Island!”

-Theme Song-

We open with the eighteen remaining campers sitting by the campfire pit while Chris explains the next challenge.

“Campers, today’s challenge will test your outdoor survival skills.” he began, “I’m not gonna lie to you. Some of you may not come back alive.”

Some people looked shocked and worried, while some people didn’t buy it.

“Just joking. All you have to do is spend one night in the woods. Everything you need is at your team’s campsite in the forest, you just have to find it.” Chris said before tossing Heather and Duncan a map and compass, “Oh, and watch out for bears. A couple of interns got injured in pre-production. The first team back for breakfast wins invincibility.”

Gwen got up and walked ahead of everyone while Courtney grabbed the map and compass from Duncan before Chris blew his air horn, “Well, off you go.”

“Did he say there were bears up in there?” Leshawna asked worriedly.

“Bears don’t usually tend to attack people at random, we’ll be fine.” Noah said.

“I had a little encounter with a bear once, let’s just say his head looks real nice up on my mantle.” Owen said as he got up.

“Oh, this one time, I saw a bear eating out of garbage! He had old spaghetti noodles hanging from his big, huge teeth, and it looked like blood and guts!” Izzy said.

“Woah.” Lindsay said.

“It was so gross!” Izzy continued, “And we thought he was eating our neighbor’s cat, Simba, but it turns out he was just lost for a week. Uh, you didn’t eat spaghetti, did you?”

Lindsay shook her head.

“Good, let’s go!” Izzy yelled.

Cut to the Gophers making their way through the woods, with Gwen walking ahead of everyone else sadly.

“Hey Gwen, wait up!” Trent said as he walked over to Gwen and gave her a smile, “Can I walk with you?”

“No.” she said sadly.

“Hey, if this is about that whole diary thing….” Trent tried to say before Gwen walked away, saddening Trent.

Cut to the Bass all following Courtney, with Katie and Sadie at the back of the group.

“Sadie, look! Blueberries!” Katie said as she pointed to a blueberry bush.

“I love, love, love blueberries!” Sadie said.

“Oh my gosh, me too!”

—Confessional: Katie & Sadie—

“Sadie and I are BFFFLs!”

“Best Female Friends For Life!”

“We even got the chicken pox together!”

“Oh my gosh, that was so fun!”

“It was so nice to have someone to scratch all your little scabs!”

“I know, right?”

Cut back to the Gophers, where Heather angrily said “Ugh, she is so the next one to leave!”

“Who?” Tyler asked.

“Who do you think!? She dumped Harold’s red ant farm into my bed!”

“Yeah, but you did read her diary out loud to the entire world.” Trent said.

Heather turned around angrily, causing people to stop and bump into each other before saying, “So!?”

“So, you had no reason to do that.” Noah said, “You still have a pretty obvious target on your back.”

“Whatever, she is still going down!” Heather said as they continued walking.

Cut back to Katie and Sadie sitting by the blueberry bush.

“Okay, those were so yummy! Can you believe how yummy those were?” Katie asked.

“They were so yummy!” Sadie replied before looking around and realizing they were alone, “Katie, where’s the rest of the team!?”

“I dunno, they must be nearby.” before they both got up and starting calling out, “Killer Bass! Where are you?”

“Oh my gosh, this is just like when we were seven and lost my mom at the mall.” Sadie said.

“And you started to cry, and the security guards had to like, page your mom, and she was so mad!”

“Oh my gosh, like, take a pill. We’re fine.” they both laughed before desperately screaming out to find the rest of their team.

Cut to the Gophers now at their campsite.

“Uhh, there’s no food here.” Owen said.

“This is a survival task, big guy. We have to find our own.” Noah said.

“I wonder if there are any bears around today. Wouldn’t it be funny if we made some bear sounds and then they came?”

“That would be so funny!” Izzy responded, as the two started making bear sounds.

“Will you guys shut up!? I’m trying to read here!” Heather said as looked at the map, “It says we’re supposed to find our food. Ugh, I still don’t see it!”

“They mean in the woods, genius.” Noah said, earning a scowl for Heather.

“I’ll go! I’m good at finding food!” Owen said.

“I’ll go with so you don’t get lost.” Noah said.

“Well, at least this’ll be a good day for my diet.” Heather said sarcastically.

Cut back to Katie and Sadie trudging through the woods.

“You don’t know where we are, do you?” Sadie asked.

“Yes!” Katie said, before saying, “Okay, no. But it’s so not my fault! Have you ever noticed that all trees look the same?”

“Ugh, I knew I should’ve known better than to listen to you.”

“What, do you not think I’m smart enough to find them?”

“Well, you’re not exactly the best with like, directions.”

“I totally am!”

“Nuh-uh! Apparently, you’re not! Because we’re L-O-S-T! Lost!”

Katie just blew a raspberry at that.

Cut to Owen and Noah fishing with their hands.

“Got another one!” Owen said as he threw a fish onto shore.

“Nice work, big guy.” Noah said, before saying, “I don’t trust Heather.”

“Why, because of the whole diary thing?”

“Well yeah, obviously, but also because she just seems like a lying snake. Plus, she basically has Lindsay and Tyler at her beck and call.”

“Now that you mention it, it does kinda seem like they just do anything she says.”

“Feels like she has some kind of one-sided deal with them to get father into the game.”

“Maybe. Oh, here’s another fish!”

“Nice. Anyway, I think we should stick together as best we can to stop whatever Heather’s up to.”

“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea! Me and you, buddy! Oh, and Izzy too!”

“Sure, why not. I think this is enough fish, let’s head back.”

Cut back to the Screaming Gopher campsite, where Heather said, “Ugh, I am so hungry.”

“Ugh, I think my stomach ate my stomach.” Izzy said.

“Yo, who ordered the pepperoni with extra cheese?” said a random pizza delivery guy as the camera crew waved him over.

“It’s for the camera crew, over here.” said the camera guy.

“Ugh, no fair!” Heather complained.

“I am man! I bring fish!” Owen said as he and Noah walked back into the camp.

“Are you kidding me?” Heather asked.

“Ah, thanks guys!” Trent said as the Gophers walked over to them.

“Oh I love fish! I love fish!” Izzy said as she bit into the head of the fish, to the confusion of everyone, “I guess we should probably cook it first, heh….”

“How do you two know how to fish?” Heather asked aggressively.

“It’s really not hard.” Noah said.

“My grandpa taught me! I caught a shark once, it bit me in the butt! Check out!” Owen said as he bent down while everyone covered their eyes.

“That is so awesome!” Izzy said.

“I regret being born with eyes.” Noah said.

Cut back to Katie and Sadie still arguing in the forest, now at night.

“Well at least I know how to drive! You still have to walk! Now who’s smart?” Katie said.

“Trip to the beach last year ring a bell?” Sadie said.

“Oh, I can’t believe you’re bringing that up. You did have a totally fetch bikini on that day, though.”

“You drove my mom’s car into a snack shack!”

“It was totally in my blind spot! Whatever, if it wasn’t for me, you’d be riding the bus to the mall!” Katie said as some squirrels watched.

“Well if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be able to find your way to the mall!”

“Oh, I know my way to the mall!”

“You lean on me! If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t even be on this show!” Sadie said as the squirrels began mocking them.

“You’re just saying that because… because… I don’t know!” Katie said as she stormed off.

“You probably think you’re prettier than me, too!”

—Confessional: Katie & Sadie—

“Sadie’s like the prettiest girl I know!”

“Aww, we’ll you’re there prettiest girl I know!”

“We are really pretty, aren’t we?”

“Don’t you love that we can say that to each other and not sound totally conceited?”

“I love that about us!”

“Me too!”

“I do not think that!” Katie said.

“You totally do! That’s it, when we get back to camp, we are so splitting up as BFFFLs!”

“Well… fine!”

“Double fine!”

Cut to the other six Bass setting up their tent at their campsite.

“Wow, you pitch a tent like a guy!” Geoff said to Bridgette.

Bridgette just looked at him.

—Confessional: Geoff—

“Wow, you pitch a tent like a guy?” he repeated before facepalming.

“I mean, like, you’re not all girly about getting dirty and stuff.” Geoff said as he tried to correct himself.

“Gee. Thanks.” Bridgette said as she rolled her eyes.

“What’s for dinner, woman? I’m starving.” Duncan said to Courtney.

“I hope you don’t expect me to dignify that with a response. I’d watch what you say, remember how we voted out that homeschooled guy for his sexist comments? We can easily do that exact same for you.” Courtney said sternly.

“Tch, whatever.”

“Hey guys, look what I found!” DJ said as he walked over to the others, while holding and petting a rabbit.

“Well, I never had rabbit stew before, but what the heck? I’m game.” Duncan said before DJ reflexively pulled the rabbit back.

“What? No! This is my new pet! I’m calling her “Bunnie”!”

“You couldn’t find any food?” Courtney asked, “Ugh, then it looks like we’re eating grubs and berries for dinner.”

“Wait, weren’t Katie and Sadie with you?” Harold asked.

“What? I thought they were here.” DJ replied.

Cut back to Katie and Sadie in the forest.

“Katie, look! The tree with the fork in it! That’s good, right?” Sadie asked.

“No, it’s not good! We saw that tree two hours ago! We just walked in a gigantic circle!” Katie replied, before they heard a bear growling and ran screaming until they found a cave.

“W-we’ll be safe here until morning….” Katie said nervously before a bat started chasing Sadie around, causing her to scream before it left and she sat on a rock.

“We’re going to die here. We’re going to die here.” Sadie said in fear.

Cut back to the Gophers as they were cooking their fish.

“Okay, fire’s hot, fish are grilling, tent is tenting.” Owen said.

“Nice going guys, the fish looks awesome.” Tyler said.

“Thanks, man. I owe it all to my grandpa.”

“Did you and your grandpa really fight a bear once?” Noah asked.

“Heck yes! It was the scariest day of my entire life!” Owen said as he began his story, “We were out in the woods when we came upon the great beast. I tell ya, he was ten feet high if he was a foot!”

“What does that even mean-“

“And then he roared his terrible roar! We grabbed our shotgun. We knew it was either him or us. It was nothing personal, just the law of the wild. And then-BAM! One shot was all it took to fell the great beast. We took his blood and marked ourselves to honor him. It was a good death.”

—Confessional: Noah—

“Yeah I don’t believe that for a second, but I don’t need to tell Owen that. I’ll let him have this.”

“Yeah, right.” Heather said, “There’s no way you took down a ten foot bear. Hey, has anyone seen crazy girl?”

“Oh, she said she had to pee.” Lindsay said.

“That was over an hour ago!” Cody said.

“Izzy! Izzy!” everyone called out.

“Izzy the Gopher, where are you!?” Owen yelled, before hearing the bushes rustling, “Good, I thought we lost you there for a moment-GREAT PYRAMID OF GIZA!”

A bear popped out of the bush, scaring everyone, as Owen shouted, “WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE! WE’RE GONNA GET EATEN ALIVE BY A BEAR! OH THE HORROR! SOMEBODY HELP US! I WANT MY MOMMY!” causing Cody to pee his pants.

“The trees! Climb into the trees!” Heather yelled.

Cut back to the Bass sitting around their campfire as they heard an owl, spooking Bridgette.

“Be cool, it’s just an owl.” DJ reassured her.

“Sorry, I just get really freaked out in the forest.” she replied.

“This reminds me of this really scary story I heard once.” Duncan said.

“Awesome, tell it, man.” Geoff said.

“Are you sure? Because the story I’m thinking of is pretty hardcore.”

“Ooh, we’re so scared.” Courtney said sarcastically.

“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Duncan said as he began, “One night, a lot like this one…”

Cut to late into his story, “…so suddenly, they heard this tap tap tapping on the side of the car, the girl started to freak out, and by this time, the guy was too. So he turned the car on and stepped on it. When they got back to the girl’s house, she opened the door and screamed, because there, hanging from the door handle, was the bloody hook!”

Everyone was beginning to look scared as Duncan continued, “They say that this killer is still alive, wandering these very woods. He could be just about anywhere, really. Maybe even right… HERE!” he yelled as he put up his hand that had a hook prop on it, causing his teammates to scream and him to laugh.

“Duncan! That was so not funny!” Courtney said.

“Oh, yes it was! I just wish it was all on camera! Oh wait, it is!”

“You are so vile. Do your parents even like you!?”

“I don’t know, jumpy McChicken, I haven’t asked them lately.” he responded as a wolf howled, scaring Courtney and causing her to jump to Duncan while he smirked and Geoff gave him a thumbs up.

Cut back to the Gophers all hiding in the tree to avoid the bear.

“‘Bears don’t usually tend to attack people’, huh!?” Leshawna said to Noah.

“Usually! I said usually!” he replied.

“So, what do we do now!?” Trent asked.

“Don’t look at me!” Heather said.

“It was your idea to climb the trees!” Gwen said.

“Well, why don’t you ask the bear hunting expert!?” she responded before turning to Owen, “Hey Owen, what now!?”

“How should I know!?” he replied.

“Dude, you said you killed a bear!” Tyler said.

“I was being theatrical!”

“This is all your fault! If you hadn’t been making bear noises, we never would’ve attracted him to our site!” Heather yelled.

“Excuse me for living!” he said before screaming and hitting his head against the tree.

“Hey, hey, ease up on the guy. He and Noah did bring us all that fish.” Trent said while pointing to the fish that the bear was currently sniffing at.

“Hey! Lay off our fish!” Heather yelled.

“It’s probably already eaten Izzy!” Lindsay cried.

“Then it shouldn’t be hungry anymore!” Heather said.

“Seriously, what is wrong with you!?” Noah said as everyone scowled at Heather.

“What!? This is survival of the fittest! She should’ve just peed in her pants like Cody!” Heather said, making Cody embarrassed.

Just then, the branch Leshawna was on cracked and fell, causing her to scream as she fit the floor. The bear growled as it walked up to her, scaring everyone.

“She’s going to die!” Owen yelled as Leshawna backed ups against the tree.

“N-nice bear….” Leshawna said before screaming, “Somebody help me!”

Everyone was yelling for her to run. …only for the bear to ask in Izzy’s voice, “Hey, are you okay?”

“Uh, did that bear just ask me a question?” Leshawna asked.

Izzy then took off the head of her bear costume as Owen slid down the tree and said “Oh my goodness, I did not see that coming!”

“Okay, I’m so confused right now.” Lindsay said.

“What are you, some kind of weirdo?” Gwen asked.

“I thought it would be funny!” Izzy said before laughing.

—Confessional: Izzy—

“Okay, okay, that was so funny like, “Ahh, it’s a bear! Oh no!” and like ‘We’re all gonna die now, help, help!’ Ahahaha! And I’m like ‘Raaa, I’m gonna eat you!’ like I could actually do that! There’s no way, okay? Ahaha!”

Cut to the Bass all in their tent as Bridgette got up.

“What’s wrong, gotta go pee?” DJ asked.

“Like crazy, but I’m too scared to leave the tent.” Bridgette responded.

“Yeah, me too.” DJ said as he held up a jar containing a yellow liquid.

Bridgette slowly walked out of the tent when a swarm of bats flew towards her, causing one of them to get stuck on her face, causing her to trip over the fire pit, causing a hot coal to hit the tent, causing to burn to a crisp. Her team looked at her upset while she just waved awkwardly.

Cut back to the Gophers sitting around their fire and eating their fish.

“Rocking the fish sticks, nice!” Izzy said as everyone heard rustling from a nearby bush, when a bear roared and walked out, “Wow, that costume is really good! I mean, I thought mine was good, but this one is like, really good.”

“It’s probably Chris trying to mess with us. Yeah, nice try, man.” Trent said.

Owen booped it’s nose and said “We know you’re not a bear, dude.” as the bear roared.

“I don’t know, Owen. This one looks kinda real….” Gwen said.

“Chris did say there were bears….” Heather said.

Owen laughed and said, “Oh, c’mon, guys! They’re just trying to see if they can punk us twice! This is not a real bear and I’m going to prove it to you!” Owen said before ripping off part of the bear’s fur.

“Wow, that does look kind of real.” Owen said as the bear stood up and roared, causing Cody to wet his pants again, “Yeah. That’s a real bear.”

Everyone screamed and climbed up the tree again.

Cut back to the Bass.

“Great! That’s just great, Bridgette! Now, we have nowhere to sleep!” Courtney yelled.

“Yo, Drama Queen, relax. It’s cool.” Duncan said.

“Cool? It’s cool!? Things could not possibly get worse! We have no food, we have no tent, all our supplies burned in the tent, and we’re missing two people! How could this possibly get any worse!?” Courtney yelled.

It then started raining. Courtney just yelled. All three groups spent the night in a terrible situation under the rain.

Cut to the next morning with the Gophers sliding down from their tree.

“Well, I think it’s safe, guys. Bear’s gone.” Trent said.

“And the map.” Gwen said as pulled up the now drenched map.

“Okay, I don’t know how raccoons sleep in trees, because I’m so stiff!” Izzy said.

“They must be really limber.” Owen said.

“Y’know what, crazy girl!? I don’t wanna hear another word from you, or the bear hunter! If you two hadn’t been acting like bear bait all night, we could’ve actually slept in our tent!” Heather said.

“Right, because the bear wouldn’t have shown up if Izzy wasn’t dressed as one an hour before and they weren’t making awful attempts at bear noises over twelve hours earlier. The bear showing up was totally their fault.” Noah snapped at Heather.

“Quit sticking up for them, you’re lucky to even still be here, twerp!” Heather said.

“And so are you! If Beth hadn’t burned down the stage last challenge, you would’ve been sent home immediately!” Noah retorted as a bird started chirping, causing everyone to yell, “Shut up!”

Cut to Katie and Sadie waking up in the cave.

“Uugghh… is it morning yet?” Katie asked.

“Uugghh… I think that was the worst night of my entire life.” Sadie said before yawning, “It was even worse than that night I went out with that guy with the minky bad breath, because he ate those sausages at that place and-what?”

Katie was pointing out of the cave, and Sadie looked to see the bear that was tormenting the Gophers the previous night standing there. The duo screamed and ran away.

Cut to the rest of the Killer Bass waking up, with Courtney having cuddled up next to Duncan in her sleep.

“Morning, Sunshine.” Duncan said as Courtney woke up.

“Oh my gosh!” she said in shock “Ew! You were cuddling me!”

“I was calmly laying on my back and trying to catch a few Zs, you were snuggling up to me.”

“You are such an ogre!”

“I’ve been called worse.”

“Ugh!”

—Confessional: Courtney—

“Okay I just wanna say, for the record, I was totally asleep, and therefore unconscious at the time of alleged ‘cuddling’ with said Neanderthal, so, essentially, it’s like it never happened.”

Cut to Chris sitting at the fire pit and waiting for the teams to get back. The Killer Bass made it back first.

“Yes! We’re the first ones back!” Courtney said as the Screaming Gophers walked in.

“No! They beat us here! This is all your fault!” Heather yelled as she pushed over Owen.

“Hey wait a minute, aren’t there usually eight of you?” Cody asked the Bass.

“Yeah, seems like you guys are missing a few fish.” Chris said.

“Oh, those two? I’m pretty sure they got eaten by wolves or something.” Courtney said.

Just then, Katie and Sadie ran in.

“We made it!” said Katie.

“We’re safe! Oh my gosh guys, we got totally lost, and then got in this massive fight!” Sadie said.

“And there was this huge bear and he was all ‘Raaar!’ and stuff!”

“And we had to run and it was like, so scary!”

“Oh Sadie, I’m so sorry I said all those things about you!”

“And I’m so sorry I brought up the snack shack!”

“Oh who cares, we’re safe!” Katie said as she hugged Sadie.

“And you’re my best friend for life and I love you!”

“I love you too!”

Then, Courtney walked up to them and asked, “Ahem, are you two finished with your little love fest?”

They nodded, and so Courtney said, “Good. Because thanks to you, we just lost the challenge!”

“Alright, Killer Bass, one of your fishy butts is is going home tonight!” Chris said, “Gophers, you’re going on an all-expense paid trip to… the tuck shop!” they all smiled at this as they ran over to it. The Bass all glares at a now very nervous Katie and Sadie.

Cut to the Gophers in their hot tub, enjoying their snacks from the tuck shop.

“Oh my gosh, this is so good! I never thought chips could taste so good! I think I’m gonna be sick.” he said before puking over the side of their hot tub.

“That’s so incredibly gross.” Heather said.

“Ah, that’s better. Woo! The Screaming Gophers rule! Hey, gimme some of those chocodiles.” he said to Trent, who tossed the bag to him.

“Whatever, you two are lucky those two losers got lost last night, otherwise one of you would be going home.” Heather said to Owen and Izzy.

“If anyone’s lucky here, it’s you, Heather. None of us forgot about the whole diary thing or all the rude stuff you said last night. I’d watch your back if I were you.” Noah said as Heather scowled.

—Confessional: Heather—

“Ugh, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe that dweeb has a point. I’m not always invincible, I need to only do stuff like that when I know it can’t bite me in the butt.”

Cut to the elimination ceremony, with the Gophers eating their snacks in the Peanut Gallery while the Bass sat on their logs.

“You’ve all cast your votes.” Chris began, “The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately hit the Dock of Shame, grab the Boat of Losers, and get the heck off my island. And you can’t come back. Ever. If I toss you a marshmallow, you’re safe. Courtney.”

“Bridgette.”

“DJ.”

“Harold.”

“Geoff.”

“Duncan.”

Nobody was too surprised receiving their marshmallows. Realizing what was about to happen, Katie and Sadie hugged each other.

“Ladies.” Chris began, “The final marshmallow of the evening goes to…”

…

…

…

…

…

“Sadie!”

“No! Why Katie!? Why her!?” Sadie yelled out.

“It’s so unfair….” Katie said.

“I so can’t do this! I’ve never been anywhere without Katie! We have to be together or I’ll totally die!” Sadie said before Katie grabbed her shoulders.

“Sadie! Listen to me! You can do this! You are strong, and beautiful, and like honestly way smarter than me! And plus, you’re like the funnest girl I know! You have to do it! For both of us!”

Cut to Katie on the boat as it was driving away.

“I miss you already!” Sadie cried out.

“I miss you more!” Katie called out.

“No, I miss you more!”

“No way! I totally miss you more!”

“I miss you infinitely more! Bye!”

“I don’t think she can hear you anymore.” Bridgette told Sadie.

Cut to Duncan walking to the Bass cabin while Courtney was sitting on the stairs.

“Ugh, what do you want now?” she asked.

“I just wanted to say, I’m sorry I scared you.” Duncan said.

“I was not scared! It was completely circumstantial. And there is no such thing as a ‘Hook Man’.”

“Yeah, your probably right. OR ARE YOU!?” Duncan said as he pulled out his hook once again as Courtney screamed.

“Ugh! I hate you!” Courtney said as she walked away.

“She so doesn’t hate me.” Duncan said smugly as he put his hands behind his head, failing to realize he still had the hook prop on and accidentally scratching himself.

—Voting: Courtney—

“You two both lost us the challenge. Since I can only pick one, I guess I’ll go with Katie.”

—Voting: Bridgette—

“Sorry, guys. I guess I’ll go with Katie since her picture’s closer.”

—Voting: DJ—

“Uhh, Katie I guess. I kinda picked at random.”

—Voting: Harold—

“Okay, I flipped a coin, and I got heads. So Katie.”

—Voting: Geoff—

“Katie did pretty well at the dodgeball game, so I guess I’ll go with Sadie.”

—Voting: Duncan—

“I’ll vote for Sadie because her voice annoys me more.”

—Voting: Katie & Sadie—

“Duncan’s honestly really mean.”

“Yeah, I’m going for Duncan. I’m nervous about tonight, though.”

Chapter Text

Recap:

“Last time on Total Drama Island, the campers had their survival skills put to the test when they spent the entire night camping in the woods. Katie and Sadie’s friendship was strained when Katie’s sense of direction got them totally lost. Duncan’s mad ghost story telling skills freaked out the other members of the Killer Bass, and uh, Izzy played a prank on the Gophers by dressing up as a bear. Unfortunately, a real bear showed up and the Gophers spent the night up in a tree, which really sucked for them. Cody peed in his pants, and Heather started to blame everything on Owen and Izzy, only for Noah to stick up for them, causing team friction between his group and Heather’s. And then it rained. Basically, nobody got any sleep that night. Ultimately, the Killer Bass were the ones on the chopping block, leaving Katie without a marshmallow, much to Sadie’s sadness. Yup, the challenge was rough alright, and if I have anything to say about it, today’s will be even more brutal. Luckily, I do. What fresh horror have we planned for our campers? Find out next on Total Drama Island!”

-Theme Song-

Open the night of Katie’s elimination, with Sadie still crying into the lake.

“Katie would want you to keep going!” Bridgette told her, but Sadie kept crying, “Come on, let’s go back and join the others.”

Bridgette had to pull Sadie away from the dock, but Sadie took a piece of the dock with her.

“I miss you!” Sadie cried.

Cut to the other Bass sitting sadly around the fire as they heard Sadie’s crying as Bridgette brought her over.

“It was a long goodbye.” Bridgette told the group.

“Guys, we need to have a serious discussion.” Courtney said as she got up, “There have been five challenges so far, and we’ve only won once!”

“We’re all well aware of that.” Duncan said.

“We need to work harder. We can’t let this keep happening or we’ll keep having to vote people out!” Courtney replied as the Gophers walked up, “What do you guys want? Come by to rub it in?”

“We got some extra desert after our tuck shop party. Thought you might want some.” Trent said as Tyler held up a green jelly with a gummy worm in it.

“So what? You’re just being nice?” Courtney asked suspiciously.

“Okay, Owen stank up our cabin and we need some time for it to air out.” Gwen said.

Tyler walked over and handed the green jelly to Courtney, only for her to yell “No! I mean, no thanks, I’m good.”

“What, are you on a diet or something?” Duncan asked.

“No! I just don’t like green jelly, okay!?” Courtney replied as Tyler took the jelly over to DJ instead.

…only for DJ to flip the plate over while yelling, “SNAAAAAKE!”

“…it’s just a gummy worm.” Noah said as he pulled it out of the jelly.

“Sorry for tripping, snakes just freak me out.”

“I feel you. Chickens give me the creeps, dude.” Tyler said as he patted DJ on the back.

“You’re afraid of chickens?” Gwen asked.

“Wow, that’s… that’s really lame, man.” Duncan said.

“I had a bad experience, okay!?” Tyler said.

—Confessional: Cody—

“So, for some reason, we all started sharing our biggest fears after that. Leshawna talked about being scared of spiders, Harold’s afraid of ninjas, even Heather said she was afraid of sumo wrestlers!”

“What’s my worst fear? I guess being buried alive.” Gwen said.

“Walking through a minefield. In heels.” Lindsay said.

“Flying, man. That’s some crazy stuff.” Owen admitted.

“I would never go up in a plane. Never!” Izzy added.

“I’m scared of hail. It’s small but deadly, dude.” Geoff said.

“Being left alone in the woods.” Bridgette said.

“Bad haircuts.” Sadie added, having stopped crying.

“Oh, I change mine. That’s so much scarier than a minefield!” Lindsay said.

“Having to diffuse a time bomb, under pressure.” Cody said.

“Mimes really creep me out, dude.” Trent said.

“I’m not really afraid of anything.” Courtney said.

“Bologna.” Duncan said at that.

“Yeah, I highly doubt that.” Noah added.

“Oh really? What are your biggest fears then?” Courtney asked as everyone stared at them.

“…Celine Dion music store standees.” Duncan finally admitted.

“Uh, excuse me? I didn’t quite get that!” Cody said jokingly.

“Dude, did you say Celine Dion music store standees?” Trent asked as Duncan covered his face.

“Ooh, I love Celine Dion!” Lindsay said, “…what’s a standee?”

“Y’know, that cardboard cutout thing that stands in the music store.” Trent asked.

“Don’t say it dude!” Duncan said.

“Kind of like a life-sized but flat Celine.” Trent continued.

“So if we had a cardboard cutout right now…” Courtney began.

“Shut up!” Duncan said before turning to Noah, “What about you, dweeb?”

“Fine, being forgotten. I have eight older siblings, I get worried about getting lost in the shuffle.” Noah said before turning back to Courtney, “Alright, Courtney, you have to be afraid of something. Nobody’s immune to fear unless they’ve been lobotomized.” 

“Nope! Nothing.” she said.

“That’s not what she said last night.” Duncan said.

“Duncan, did you ever consider that I was just humoring you and your stupid story?”

“Sure, Princess. Whatever floats your boat.”

“Shut up!”

Cut to the morning of the next challenge, where everyone was eating their breakfast.

“Campers!” Chris began, “Your next challenge is a little game I like to call: Phobia Factor! Prepare to face your worst fears!”

“Worse than this?” Leshawna said while holding up a gross looking sausage.

“We’re in trouble, then.” Gwen said.

“Now for our first victims, Heather, meet us all at the newly rebuilt amphitheater. It’s sumo time!” Chris said, causing Heather to spit out her drink in shock.

“Gwen! You, me, the beach, and a few tons of sand.” Chris said causing her to gasp.

“Wait, how did they know our worst fears?” Lindsay asked.

“Because we told them.” Gwen said, but Lindsay continued to look confused.

“At the campfire, remember?” Trent said.

“Wait, they were listening to us!?” Lindsay asked in shock.

“It’s a reality show, Einstein. They’re always listening to us.” Gwen said.

“That’s like… eavesdropping!” Lindsay said.

“Chef Hatchet! Didn’t you have a special order for Tyler today?” Chris asked as Chef handed Tyler an entire deep fried chicken. Nervously, Tyler took a bite. Only for an actual living chicken to stick its head out, causing Tyler to run and scream in fear.

Cut to Chris about to put mullet wigs into Sadie and Lindsay, only for Owen to take one and dance around it for awhile before he fell over, and Chris took it back at put the wigs onto Sadie and Lindsay.

—Confessional: Sadie—

“I was really scared doing this, especially without Katie. But like Bridgette said, she’s want me to keep going! So I’ve gotta try my best!”

Cut to Owen, Izzy, and Noah standing in front of a plane.

“You guys can do this, it’s only for a few minutes. Just think of the ground.” Noah said to them.

“T-thanks, buddy. I hope you’re right.” Owen said as he hugged Noah a little too tight. Izzy and Owen then stepped onto the plane and screamed as it took off.

“So, what’s my challenge, Chris?” Noah asked.

“Well we were planning on just having everyone ignore you today. But considering I had to respond to you, and Owen just hugged you, I guess you failed.” Chris said.

Noah just looked at him in shock, “…so you’re telling me a failed through no fault of my own?”

“Hey, should’ve just not talked to anyone today.” Chris said as he walked away from a flabbergasted Noah.

Cut to Harold reading a comic in the bathroom. He heard a noise as three ninjas come into the room through the ceiling. While initially worried, Harold pulled out his nunchucks and started swinging them around, worrying the ninjas (who were really just interns in costumes). …only for Harold to accidentally hit himself in the head and fall over.

“Well, you did technically stand up to them. Point to the Bass.” Chris said.

Cut to Leshawna screaming and running away from Chef in a spider costume as Heather facepalmed.

Cut to Heather and a sumo wrestler at the newly rebuilt amphitheater. The wrestler charged towards Heather, only for her to duck and the sumo wrestler to trip over her, scoring her team a point.

Cut to Bridgette sitting alone in the woods, “I’m not scared. Six hours out here is nothing.” she said nervously. A squirrel walked up to her, only for her to scream and kick it away.

Cut to the beach, where Gwen was placed into a glass box that was currently being covered with sand.

“There’s enough air for an hour. You only need to do five minutes.” Trent told her.

“As long as we decide to dig you up.” Chris said jokingly.

“Not funny, Chris!” Gwen said.

“Sheesh, take a pill.” he said.

“I’ll be listening the whole time.” Trent said as she handed her a walkie-talkie, “Just yell for me if you panic, and I’ll dig you right up.

“Goodbye, cruel world.” Gwen said as Trent closed the opening in the box.

Cut back to the amphitheater, where DJ was looking at a small container with an even smaller garden snake in it.

“Hey, you can do this, buddy!” Duncan said, while DJ continued to look worried as the snake looked at him.

“Aaah! It blinked!” he yelled.

“I have a pet snake at home, it means she likes you!” Sadie said.

“It’s the smallest snake ever, DJ! Come on!” Courtney yelled.

“Yeah, but it’s slimy, and scaly, and slithery!” DJ said as he shuddered.

“We need this point, DJ! Suck it up!” Courtney said as her team looked upset at her, “What!? We’re not heading back to Loserville! He just needs some tough love here!”

DJ took a deep breath and reached his finger out, which the snake immediately crawled onto. After actually feeling it, DJ smiled at the cute snake.

“Yeah! Good job, DJ!” everyone cheered.

“See? Fear is only in the mind.” Courtney said.

Cut back to the beach, where Trent was sitting next to where Gwen was buried.

“You still alive in there? Only three more minutes.” he said.

“And then you’ll dig me up, right!?” she asked through the walkie-talkie.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” he said.

“I need some kind of distraction. Tell me a story. Umm, why do you hate mimes so much?”

“My mom took me to this carnival once when I was four so I could see the elephants. I was stoked.”

“Yeah?”

“I was so busy watching them that I lost her for a minute. I called out, but when I turned, all I could see was this horrible white face with black lips pretending to be me! I screamed and tried to run, but every time I tried to turn around, he was there, doing this fake run and scream routine.”

Just then, a mime tapped Trent on the shoulder, causing him to scream and run away as the mime followed, not realizing he had dropped his walkie-talkie.

“Trent!?” Gwen asked through the walkie-talkie.

“Just talk to him, brah. Ask him to go away.” Chris said through his megaphone as Trent and the mime ran past everyone, “Okay then, we’ve got two minutes until Gwen’s done. Cody, you’re up.”

Cut to the woods where Cody was looking terrified out of a time bomb made of trash.

“Alright Cody, this garbage bomb’s going off in exactly ten minutes. Everything you need to know to diffuse it is on these schematic blueprints.” Chris said as he handed the blueprints to Cody.

“What!? No way, I can’t do this!” Cody said.

“Then, uh, heh, I suggest you find a safe place to hide, brah. Later, dude.” Chris said.

“Wait, you’re not gonna watch!?” Cody asked.

“No way! That’s a live bomb, dude!” Chris said as he ran off.

Cut back to Trent continuing to run from the mime on the beach. They both stopped as the mime began to do a fake wall technique.

“There’s no wall there, man! Stop being creepy!” Trent said, but the mime didn’t stop. Trent saw the dock nearby and ran towards it.

Cut to the Bass cabin, where Duncan was standing ten feet away from a cardboard cutout of Celine Dion.

“She’s pretty. She’s nice.” Courtney said to reassure Duncan.

“Just one hug, and you’re done.” Chris said before snapping his fingers.

“That looks really… really real, man.” Duncan said nervous to Courtney.

“Hey, it’s okay if you can’t do it.” Courtney said calmly before grabbing his hand.

“Alright. I’ll try.” Duncan said.

“You can do this!” Courtney said.

“Okay. Okay.” he said before he ran and hugged the cutout as his team cheered.

“Yeah! You did it!” Courtney said as she ran up and hugged him.

“I did it! Yes!” he yelled.

Courtney then realized she was hugging Duncan and immediately stopped.

Cut back to Trent running down the dock before hopping into the water, “Woohoo! Yeah! What’s the matter mime, can’t swim?” he said.

The mine took a breath and was about to hop in, when Trent said “Stop! Uhh, your makeup will run!”

Realizing this was true, the mime sadly nodded and walked away, scoring the Gophers another point.

“Take that, you makeup wearing freak!”

“Nicely played, Trent.” Chris said, “Unfortunately, I don’t think things are going quite so smoothly for our buddy Geoff.”

Geoff sat down in a chair on the beach. Just then, Chris brought over a remote controlled hail cloud, causing Geoff to scream and run away as the cloud followed him.

“Look, that cloud is following him! Awww, it’s like his own baby cloud! I want one too! Here, cloudy cloud!” Lindsay said as Geoff ran past her.

“Can you make the cloud go higher and pelt him harder?” Trent asked Chris.

“You are one sick dude. But yeah.” Chris responded as he did just that.

“Ah, that’s awesome.” Trent said, “Hey, do you ever feel like you’ve forgotten something?”

“Sometimes. I usually ignore it and the feeling goes away. Haha, watch this, I’m gonna bury him in hail!”

“Bury! Ah crap, we forgot Gwen!” Trent said as he ran over to go pick her up.

Cut back to Bridgette wandering alone in the woods.

“Okay. Okay. Okay. Bridge, you can do this. Only… four hours and fifteen minutes to go!” Bridgette said as she looked at her watch.

A crow squawked and she said, “Oh, don’t even bother trying to freak me out, producer people!”

She then heard a really loud bang that sounded like an explosion.

Cut back to Chris and Trent trying to dig up Gwen, when Trent asked what that sound was.

“If I had to guess, I’d say Cody just blew himself up.” said Chris.

Cut to Cody, now dazed and covered in trash.

“Oops… is anyone here? L-ladies?” he asked as he began to walk away without being able to see where he was going.

Cut back to Trent having successfully dug up Gwen, “Gwen! You did it!” he said as she threw the walkie-talkie at him.

“She’s alright! She’s alright!” Chris said as the Gophers scored another point.

Cut to Owen and Izzy’s plane finally landing, as they both got out immediately as it touched the ground.

“We did it!” Izzy yelled.

“Nice work, you guys- what are you even doing?” Noah asked as he saw Owen and Izzy begin kissing the ground.

—Confessional: Bridgette—

“Actually, I’d like to thank the producers for making me face my fear. I’m proud of myself. There’s really nothing to be afraid of.”

Cut to Bridgette seeing the still trash-covered and dazed Cody, causing her to run screaming back to camp.

Cut to Lindsay and Sadie in the communal washroom, “We did it! We made it through the whole day! Are you ready? One, two, three!” Lindsay said as she and Sadie took off their wigs.

“Oh my gosh, I totally forgot how cute your hair is!” Lindsay said.

“Oh my gosh, yours too!” Sadie replied.

Cut to Chris and the all the campers (except the still lost Cody) at a chicken coop, “Alright gang, we’re in the ninth inning. Tyler, for your challenge, you need to get into this pen for three minutes with these chickens.” Chris said.

Tyler immediately ran away screaming upon seeing the chickens.

“I cannot believe him.” Heather said.

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. We’ve already won. Even if Courtney succeeds at whatever her fear is, we’ll still win, 6-5.” Noah said.

“But I didn’t even say my fear!” Courtney said.

“You didn’t have to, we’re always watching you. And your reactions.” Chris said as he played back the clip of Courtney screaming “No!” at the green jelly.

“I knew it! Didn’t I tell you guys they were eavesdropping?” Lindsay said.

“Oh, who cares? It’s not going to make a difference anyway.” Courtney said dejected.

“Let’s make this interesting, then. I’ll give you triple points if you can complete it.” Chris said.

Cut to Courtney standing on top of a high dive. Below her, a pool full of green jelly.

“You’re afraid of jelly!?” Duncan yelled to her.

“Shut up! Only green jelly! It’s like sugary, jiggly, snot!” she yelled back.

“You can face your fears and jump into the jelly, or you can let your team lose yet another challenge. What’s it gonna be Courtney?” Chris asked.

“Oh, that is just cruel! It’s probably warm by now. Warm, green jelly! Snotty, bouncy… ugh!” Gwen said.

“You’re not going to psyche me out!” Courtney yelled.

“Like you said, Courtney, it’s okay if you can’t do it!” Duncan yelled.

“It is!? But we’ll lose!” Bridgette said.

Courtney looked down at the jelly. It was terrifying to her, and the height sure wasn’t making it any easier. She didn’t think she could do it.

But then, she looked down at the other players. There were still ten Gophers. They’d only lost one game. But there were only seven Bass. And if she couldn’t do this jump, there would only be six. And she knew that she’d be the one going home if that were the case. Her six teammates, people she felt like she’d grown a bond with over these past two and a half weeks, were counting on her. She remembered what she’d told them at the campfire previously. She knew she couldn’t let them down.

Courtney sighed, took in a deep breath… and leapt straight into the pool of green jelly.

“Gross gross gross gross gross!” Courtney yelled as she climbed out of the pool, but her teammates cheered and lifted her up like they had with Harold after the dodgeball challenge.

“And that’s it! The Killer Bass finally score their second win! Gophers, looks like you’ll have to send someone packing again. Good luck.” Chris said.

—Confessional: Courtney—

“I can’t believe I actually managed to do that. I wasn’t sure we’d ever win again! But we did it. And now, let’s make sure we keep winning.”

Cut to Owen sitting alone in the pool of jelly.

“Gwen’s right, it is warm.” he said.

—Confessional: Noah—
“Okay, we lost. Oh well. But this means we can finally take a shot at Heather’s alliance. Heather and Lindsay succeeded at their fear, so I doubt it’ll be easy to convince anyone to get rid of them. But Tyler didn’t. So we can vote him off. I’ll get Cody in on this too, he’s probably worried since he failed his fear.”

—Confessional: Heather—

“Ugh! I cannot believe those guppies beat us. Tyler’s probably a target since he didn’t even try to face his fears. Truth be told, I probably don’t need Tyler at this point, but two votes with me is always better than one, so I need to find someone else to pin out loss on. But who…?”

Heather stepped outside the confessional, only to see Cody, still dazed and covered in trash walking back towards the camp.

“Hello? L-ladies? Anybody?” he said.

“Perfect.” Heather said with a smirk.

Cut to the Campfire Ceremony. The Bass took their seats in the Peanut Gallery while the Gophers sat on the logs.

“Beth was right, these seats are comfy.” Harold said.

“Gophers, you’ve all cast your votes.” Chris began, “The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately hit the Dock of Shame, grab the Boat of Losers, and leave the Island. And you can’t come back. Ever. If I toss you a marshmallow, you’re safe. Gwen.”

Gwen sighed in relief as she caught her marshmallow.

“Trent.”

“Owen.”

“Izzy.”

“Lindsay.”

“Heather.”

“Noah.”

“Leshawna.”

Everyone was thankful to receive their marshmallow, but Cody and Tyler both looked incredibly nervous.

“You two both miserably failed to complete your challenges. Plus, neither of you are exactly all that useful in challenges most of the time.” Chris began, “But only one of you is going home tonight. The final marshmallow goes to…”

…

…

…

…

…

“Tyler.”

“Yes!” Tyler shouted as he caught his marshmallow.

Cody said nothing as he got up and sadly walked towards the Dock of Shame.

“Well, that takes care of that. You all get some rest now. You’ll need it.” Chris said.

Cut to the Gophers walking back to cabin, where Heather pulled Tyler aside.

“You better be thankful, Chicken. If it wasn’t for me, you’d be gone. And if you ever try to leave this alliance, I’ll make sure that you go next. And I’ll put some chickens on the boat with you. Got it!? Heather said.

“G-got it! I-I’ll be sure to stay loyal to the alliance!” Tyler said scared.

“Good. Now get out of here. I’ve got some planning to do.” Heather said.

“…I think I might be in a really bad spot….” Tyler said to himself as he walked back to the boy’s side of the cabin.

—Voting: Gwen—

“Cody’s weird advances really bother me. I’d rather he go now than later.”

—Voting: Trent—

“I can see that Gwen’s been bothered by Cody recently. I gotta vote for him.”

—Voting: Owen—

“Noah told me that voting for Tyler was the best option to take down Heather right now. Sorry, dude.”

—Voting: Izzy—

“Sorry, Chicken boy! Someone’s gotta go!”

—Voting: Lindsay—

“Heather told me I should vote for Cody. And since Heather’s my BFF, I’ll listen to her.”

—Voting: Heather—

“See you never, twerp. I have to keep my alliance alive.”

—Voting: Noah—

“I wouldn’t have to do this if you weren’t so tied to Heather, dude. But that’s the way it has to go.”

—Voting: Leshawna—

“Heather may be a thorn in my side, but Cody really isn’t that useful in challenges anymore.”

—Voting: Tyler—

“Sorry, Cody. It’s either you or me now.”

—Voting: Cody—

“Noah says that if I don’t vote for Tyler, I’m probably gonna be eliminated. I have no way of knowing if he’s right or not, but I’ll trust him.”

Chapter Text

Recap:

“Last time on Total Drama Island, the competitions were forced to conquer their deepest, darkest fears. Not all of them succeeded, but others surprised the group and faced their fears head on. Courtney managed to just barely clinch out a win for the Bass, and Cody’s failure to defuse a time bomb sent him packing. Despite this, the Bass are still behind in players. Can they pull this one out of the water? Find out today on Total Drama Island!”

-Theme Song-

We open with Chris the remaining campers standing in front of the lake.

“Bass. Gophers. Today’s challenge is a true summer camp experience; A canoe trip. You’ll be paddling your canoes across the lake to… Boney Island!” Chris said in a spooky manner, “When you get there, you must portage your canoes to the other side of the Island, which’ll be a two hour hike through dense, treacherous jungle.”

“We’ve gotta pour what?” Geoff asked.

“Portage.” Chris said as a fly through into one of Geoff’s ears and came out the other.

“It means walk with our canoes, Party Boy.” Noah said while rolling his eyes.

“Ohhhh.” Geoff said.

“When you arrive at the other end of the Island, you’ll build a rescue fire that will be judged by me.” Chris continued, “The first team to paddle home and return their canoes to the beach is the wins invincibility. Move campers, move!”

The campers all began to walk to the canoes before Chris stopped them “Oh wait! One more thing I should mention! Legend has it, if you take anything off the Island, you’ll be cursed forever!” he said while wiggling his fingers.

“Yeah! A cursed island! Woo!” Owen yelled while everyone just stared at him.

“Now, get in your canoes, and let’s have some fun.” Chris said.

“Yes!” Owen responded.

Just then, Tyler ran over, having just left the bathrooms and asking, “What’d I miss?”

“Canoes.” Chris said as Tyler tan to join his team.

—Confessional: Tyler—

“Since we all need a partner for the canoe trip, Lindsay and I can spend that whole trip together! It can be our first real date! Yeah!”

Tyler was about to get on canoe with Lindsay, but Heather came by and said, “Tyler, you’re with me. Lindsay, go with Trent.”

“Uh, Heather? I kinda wanted to spend some time with Lindsay….” Tyler said.

“Oh I’m sorry, did you forget that you owe me for saving you last challenge?” Heather said as Tyler shook his head sadly, “That’s what I thought. Now, you’re gonna row me that Island as fast as you can.”

Trent was about to ask Gwen to go with him, only for Lindsay to pull him aside and say, “Trent, you’ve gotta come with me!”

Trent looked back to Gwen sadly as he was pulled into the canoe. Gwen decided to go join Leshawna instead.

Izzy was trying to push her canoe into the lake, only for her to somehow flip over into it and land perfectly into her life vest, before turning back to Owen and Noah and saying, “Just follow my technique! I’m 1/87 Cherokee, y’know? Which means the tribe could totally like, claim me at any team!” Noah got onto the canoe with her as Owen pushed it into the water.

“Let’s hope it’s today.” Leshawna mumbled, having watched the exchange from her and Gwen’s canoe.

Meanwhile, Duncan pulled Harold and Sadie into his canoe, worrying them both.

Bridgette looked back to the stairs and waved. Geoff assumed she was waving at her, only for her to say, “Courtney, wanna be my partner?” as Geoff facepalmed.

—Confessional: Geoff—

“Man, I thought Bridge and I were tight, but suddenly, I dunno, it’s like she’s fading on me. Nah, it’s probably all good!”

“Hey Geoff, need a partner?” DJ asked.

“Excellent!” he replied as the two began their walk to their canoe, Bridgette looking away from him as he passed by.

“Yo, man, do canoes flip over a lot?” DJ asked worriedly.

“Nah, you’re thinking kayaks.” Geoff reassured him, “Less we hit some really rough water.”

“Water can get… rough!?”

“Oh yeah, sometimes it can get totally radical out there.”

—Confessional: DJ—

“When I was eight, my brothers dared my to jump off the high dive platform at the pool. I was scared, but I jumped. Wasn’t gonna let them call me chicken. I landed on my butt. Sounds better than a belly flop, right? Wrong. My trunks went so far up my butt, I had to go to the hospital to get them removed. They invented a new word for what I did; the wedgie-flop. I’ve been afraid of water and heights ever since.”

Geoff pulled the canoe into the water, with DJ getting really scared.

“Dude, relax. We’re gonna be fine.” Geoff told him as he tossed him an oar.

“If this canoe’s a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’!” Owen said as he rocked his canoe back and forth as they passed by, causing Noah to poke him with an oar.

Cut to all the campers ready to begin the voyage to Boney Island.

“On your marks, get set, paddle!” Chris said as he short a starting pistol into the air, which somehow knocked an eagle of all things out of the sky, “…that’s gonna provoke some angry emails….”

Cut to Izzy, Noah, and Owen paddling, where Izzy was telling a story, “…and then these bushmen taught us how to properly catch and cook crocodiles, as well as koala-“

“Uh, isn’t killing a koala illegal?” Noah asked.

“Oh, I dunno. Probably, yeah.” she said before laughing, “Probably it’s illegal.”

—Confessional: Noah—

“Okay, so the Screaming Gophers have effectively been split into three groups. Heather’s got Lindsay and Tyler under lock and chain, Izzy, Owen, and I are working together to go against them, and then Trent, Gwen, and Leshawna all seem to get along well with each other. Should we lose another challenge, we need to try to get them to vote with us, or Heather will take all of us down.”

Cut to Lindsay laying down in her canoe and asking, “You don’t mind if I work on my tan, do you?”

Trent responded by saying, “No, I don’t mind at all.”

Cut to Geoff and DJ, where Geoff asked, “Can I ask you something, dude? I gave Bridgette an awesome gift this morning, but she’s been sending me some weird vibes.”

Cut to Bridgette and Courtney, where Bridgette said, “Oh my gosh, Courtney, it was so bad! I come back from brushing my teeth, and I notice some weird lump under my covers, and when I lifted it, there it was!”

(“It” was a heart shaped bowl covered in macaroni. In the middle was a picture of Geoff and DJ, where DJ had been cut out, and a picture of Bridgette had been hastily put in its place)

“No!” Courtney gasped.

“Yes!”

Cut back to DJ and Geoff.

“I made it in arts and crafts.” Geoff said.

“No, you didn’t.” DJ said shocked.

“I did.”

Back to Bridgette and Courtney, Bridgette said “It gets worse. Etched into the back was an inscription that said-“

Back with DJ and Geoff, “-I hope you think of me whenever you drop loose change into this.” DJ was shocked.

“Not good?” Geoff asked.

“Dang, dude. That is so bad, we need a new word for how bad that is. See, dating’s like feeding a bunny. You want the bunny to come to you, so you don’t make any sudden moves. You drop a heart shaped, hand made, clay bowl on a bunny, and it’s gonna run, man. You feeling me?” DJ asked.

“…so I screwed up?”

“You screwed up big time, dude.”

Cut to Heather and Tyler in their canoes, where Tyler was the only one paddling while Heather was just filing her nails.

“Uhh, hey, Heather? Could you maybe, uhh, help me row?” Tyler asked.

“No.” she responded.

“Why not?”

“Because I saved your sorry butt from elimination. You owe me big-time. So here’s how this is going to work: you’re going to do whatever I tell you to do without question. And if you refuse?” Heather drew her finger across her neck.

“G-got it! No questions here!”, Tyler said before asking, “Hey, where did this creepy fog come from?”

“No idea.” Heather said.

Everyone’s canoes docked at the beach of Boney Island. From there, everyone could see the giant skull shaped rock in the middle of it.

“Okay, did you see that skull!? How cool is that! It’s like this place is haunted or something!” Izzy said.

“H-haunted?” Owen asked nervously.

“It’s not haunted, Owen. Let’s just get this over with.” Gwen said as everyone began to pick up their canoes and ran into the jungle.

Both teams were pretty neck and neck, until eventually a tree fell into their paths as eyes stared at them from the bushes.

“I-I think I saw something!” Harold said.

Suddenly, a bunch of giant beavers with tusks jumped out.

“Monster beavers!” Sadie yelled, as everyone began to run away screaming.

—Confessional: Chris—

“A remnant of the Pleistocene era, the Wooly Beaver is a day active rodent indigenous to Boney Island. Oh yeah, and they’re meat eaters.”

The Gophers ran off one way while the Bass ran another. The Wooly Beavers chased the Gophers, and they passed a bear who so confused by the sight that he put on a pair of glasses.

“Dead end!” Owen said as they indeed ran into a dead end. Surprisingly, the beavers ran away.

“Hey, they’re leaving!” Trent said.

“Did anybody pack a change of underwear?” Owen joked as everyone laughed.

Unfortunately, the Gophers didn’t realize that they were standing in the den of monstrous prehistoric geese. Once the geese screamed at them, the Gophers once again ran away screaming. Passing the bear again, he snapped his glasses in half.

“Someone do something!” Gwen said.

“Wait! I have an idea!” Noah said, “Leshawna, give me your earrings!”

“What!? Why!?” she asked.

“Just trust me!”

Begrudgingly, she did. Noah started waving them around before chucking them into the woods. The birds, seeing the shiny objects, diverted their attention to finding where the earrings went.

“How’d you know that would work?” Trent asked.

“Birds love shiny things, it’s an easy way to distract them.” Noah replied.

“Do you have a plan to get them back?” Leshawna asked.

“Uhh… no.”

Just then, the Bass rushed by them.

“C’mon, the race isn’t over yet! We still have to burn stuff!” Izzy said as they continued their run.

The Bass came to a fork in the road.

“Which way are we gonna go?” DJ asked.

“Left.” Courtney replied, “Definitely left.”

“I don’t know, I think we should take the one on the right.” Geoff said.

“The right trail is wider.” Bridgette said, causing Geoff to smile at her, “What are you looking at!?”

The group sighed and went right.

Cut back to the Gophers.

“I can see the other team.” Trent said.

“They’re taking the path on the right!” Gwen said.

“Then, let’s go left!” Noah replied.

The Gophers did just that. Eventually, Trent accidentally walked into quicksand.

“Woah, guys? Uhh, I don’t wanna panic here, but I’m sinking!” he said.

—Confessional: Trent—

“Right, how am I supposed to know what quicksand looks like? It looks just like sand!”

—Confessional: Chris—

He laughed, “Can you believe they fell for that!? I set it up, but I didn’t think anyone would walk into it! That’s just great!” He laughed some more.

“Uh-oh….” Trent said.

“Don’t worry, I got you, bro!” Tyler said as he ran forward.

“No, don’t!” Trent tried to say, but Tyler was already stuck too.

“Tyler’s stuck! I’m coming, Tyler!” Lindsay said.

“Wait! Don’t!” Tyler tried to say, but Lindsay was also already stuck.

“I’m stuck, too! I so didn’t see that coming.” Lindsay said.

Trent facepalmed, before saying, “Help! Somebody help us!”

“Here, grab on!” Noah said as he threw a vine into the quicksand, which they did, “Okay, now everyone, pull!”

They all pulled as hard as they could, and successfully pulled them all out.

“Woah. Hey thanks, bro. You’re a life saver.” Trent said as he high fived Noah.

“Yeah yeah, good job. But we still have a challenge to win!” Heather said.

Cut back to the Killer Bass walking through the woods, as Chris’ voiceover said, “Just as things were looking up for the Bass, disaster struck!”

Geoff tripped over while carrying a canoe and got a splinter in his leg, “Ow! My leg! I’m down! I’m down! Oh, it’s so unfair! Why did this have to happen now!? Why!? Why!?”

“Geoff!” Bridgette said as she walked over to him.

“You’ve gotta go on without me!” he cried.

Courtney began to walk away, only for DJ to grab her and pull her back while saying, “We’re not leaving any man behind! Not on my watch!”

—Confessional: Geoff—

“I didn’t know if I was gonna make it. It was touch and go.”

—Confessional: DJ—

“The man just kept going. Dude’s got heart.”

—Confessional: Bridgette—

“I’ve seen surfers get eaten by sharks before, but this? This I was horrifying.” she laughed, “Okay, not really. I think we all knew Geoff was just goofing off, but we all unspokenly agreed to take it super seriously. Probably not the best option for trying to win, but it was kinda funny.”

Cut to the Bass arriving at the beach, with Geoff now having to be laid atop a canoe. The Gophers arrived first and waved to the Bass. While the Gophers struggled to start their fire, the Bass did it with ease.

“How did they do that so quickly!?” Heather asked.

Duncan just pulled out his lighter, to which Chris in a helicopter said there was no rule against.

While collecting firewood, Tyler noticed a cool tiki idol behind a bush. Having not heard the previous warning of the curse, he picked it up and pocketed it.

Cut to Trent and Noah sitting on a rock.

“Thanks for saving us back there.” Trent said.

“No problem. Anyway, I need to ask you something. If we lose, who are you voting for?” Noah asked.

“I dunno, I don’t usually think about it unless we do lose. I just go with whoever cost us the win.”

“Not unreasonable. But have you noticed how Heather basically controls everything Lindsay and Tyler do?” he said as Trent saw Heather yelling at Lindsay and Tyler for some unknown reason.

“Now that you mention it, yeah.”

“She basically has those two under her control. And thus, has their votes under her control. It’s way easier for her to get rid of anyone she wants.”

“She beginning to sound like a real threat.”

“Exactly. So basically, Owen, Izzy, and I have agreed to vote together to get Heather out should we lose. I know you and Gwen are close, so if you two vote with us, we should have no issue taking down Heather.”

“She is pretty mean… ah, what the heck, I’m in. I’ll try to convince Gwen to vote for her too if we lose.” Trent said as he and Noah shook hands.

“Ladies, are you almost finished with your tea party!? We’re in the middle of a challenge here!” Heather said as she came over to them.

“Oh yeah, we’ll get right on that.” Noah said with a smirk as he and Trent got up.

Cut to Geoff dragging himself along the beach to throw sticks into the fire.

“Bridgette, you’ve got first aid training, right? Maybe you can check out Geoff’s wounds!” DJ said, “He might have gangrene!”

“Or jungle rot!” Geoff added.

“Or athlete’s foot!”

“Or scoliosis!”

Bridgette walked over to Geoff to check out his injury.

—Confessional: DJ—

“I owe Geoff big time, he helped me get over my fear of water. So when I saw him drowning with the ladies, I had to help the dude out.”

Geoff smiled and winked at DJ.

“I don’t think this is going to be big enough.” Courtney said.

“You heard the woman, we need more wood guys! C’mon, let’s go! Any wooden thing!” DJ said.

Hearing this, Harold grabbed the nearest wooden things he could find and threw them into the fire. Unfortunately, those wooden things were the oars. Everyone looked flabbergasted.

“How are we supposed to get home now!?” Bridgette yelled.

“I’m sorry!” Harold said.

Cut back to the Gophers, where Izzy was holding a strange yellow object, “This ought to do the trick! It’s a homemade fire starter I made from some tree sap and sand. Stand back guys, this is gonna be big.” Izzy said as everyone backed up.

Upon throwing it in, it created a massive explosion.

“We have our fire building winners! Point for the Gophers!” Chris said.

“Where did you learn to do that?” Heather asked.

“Oh, y’know, I spent a summer training with the reserves. Yeah, I got into some trouble there and like blew up the kitchen by accident. Which is why like the RCMP is still all over my butt. I am so totally AWOL!” Izzy responded.

All the Gophers boarded their canoes, while the Bass just stood next to them.

“What are we gonna do without paddles!?” Sadie asked.

“You guys could get someone to swim behind the boats and push them,” Izzy said as he passed by, “I did that once for this huge like sixty foot yacht, the whole crew had to flutter kick for like eight days to get to shore, and like four of us got eaten by sharks! I didn’t, not me, but it was really insane! Okay, later!”

“Izzy, why would you tell them what to do!?” Noah asked as they continued to paddle.

“That might work!” Duncan said.

“We’ll need someone big enough to push all the canoes back.” Bridgette said before looking to DJ, “DJ, you’re the only one who’s strong enough.”

“You can’t ask him to do that, the dude can’t swim!” Geoff said.

“Geoff, I know you’re friends, but DJ’s the only chance we’ve got!”

“She right.” Courtney added.

“I’ll do it!” Geoff said.

“You can’t swim with that kind of injury, you’re horribly disfigured!” Bridgette said jokingly.

“I can do this. I have to,” DJ said.

—Confessional: DJ—

“It was all up to me. I needed to swim like a Killer Bass should, and no wedgie-flop was gonna stand in my way.”

“That is one brave man.” Geoff said.

Cut to all the canoes stacked atop each other, with the other six Bass sitting at the top and chanting “DJ! DJ! DJ!” while he flutter kicked and pushed the canoes while wearing a life vest. DJ managed to swim so fast that not only did they beat the Gophers to shore, but they also ramped off a rock and crashed onto the beach.

“The Bass are the winners!” Chris announced, causing them to cheer as the Gophers reached the shore.

“You cost us the game! You are dead!” Leshawna said as she marched over to Izzy.

“Right, you are so lucky my license to kill is currently expired.” she responded.

Leshawna was about to hit her with an oar, but Noah stepped in the way and said, “Wait, Leshawna. I know she messed up, but I have a better idea.”

Cut to the Elimination Ceremony, where the Bass watched the Gophers from the Peanut Gallery.

“And now, the always anxiety inducing marshmallow ceremony,” Chris said as he spun the plate of marshmallows on his finger, “When I call your name, be prepared to catch a marshmallow. Tyler.”

“Woo!” he said as he caught his marshmallow.

“Trent.”

“Gwen.”

“Noah.”

“Owen.”

“Lindsay.”

“Leshawna.”

Neither Heather nor Izzy looked too worried by being in the bottom two, both incredibly confident that the other was going home.

“One last marshmallow. The person who doesn’t get this marshmallow will walk down the Dock of Shame and take a ride on the Boat of Losers. Who’s it gonna be? The final marshmallow goes to…”

…

…

…

…

…

Suddenly, a helicopter flew over and shined a spotlight down, as the pilot yelled, “Izzy! We know you are down there! You are under arrest!”

“Wait, all of your stories were true!?” Noah asked, shocked.

“No, just the RCMP part. See ya! YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! AHAHAHA!” she yelled as she ran off into the woods while the helicopter tried to follow.

“Well, that raps that up. Take the marshmallow, Heather. Be thankful, this was supposed to go to Izzy.” Chris said.

“What!? That doesn’t…” she said before turning to a smirking Noah, “You! You are so dead next time we lose!”

“Yeah, I doubt that. Watch your back.” he responded as everyone walked back to their cabins.

Cut to the Bass cabin, where Bridgette accidentally dropped Geoff’s bowl, shattering it.

“Ugh, have any glue?” Bridgette asked Courtney and Sadie.

“Ha, I wouldn’t waste my time trying to fix that.” Courtney scoffed.

“…well, maybe I would.” Bridgette said fondly.

Cut to the boys side of the Gopher cabin.

“Well, goodnight, dudes!” Tyler said as he hopped into his bed. Next to him was the tiki he took from Boney Island. Lightning struck in the distance.

—Voting: Tyler—

“Heather told me that if I didn’t vote for Izzy, she’d tell everyone to vote for me. Gosh, when did she get so scary?”

—Voting: Trent—

“Noah’s right, Heather’s too big of a threat to leave unchecked.”

—Voting: Gwen—

“I still haven’t forgotten what Heather did at the talent show. She needs to go.”

—Voting: Noah—

“Tonight’s the night that we should finally be rid of the scourge of Heather. Good riddance.”

—Voting: Owen—

“Heather’s mean. She can finally leave now.”

—Voting: Lindsay—

“Heather told me to vote for Izzy since she made us lose.”

—Voting: Leshawna—

“Even if Noah made me lose my earrings today, he’s still right about Heather needing to go.”

—Voting: Izzy—

“Goodbye, Heather! Can’t say I’ll miss you!”

—Voting: Heather—

“See you never, crazy girl.”

Chapter Text

Recap:
“Last time on Total Drama Island, both teams set out on a canoe trip to the deadly Boney Island. The Gophers lives were put in danger multiple times, but Noah’s quick thinking managed to get them out of it. There were winners and there were losers. Also known as the Gophers. The last marshmallow was set to go to Izzy, but the RCMP swooped in and BAM! Izzy hightailed it out of there, thus saving Heather. Man, I knew the girl was nuts, but didn’t know she was totally insane! However, one Gopher may have secretly done something even crazier when Tyler brought home a creepy stick tiki thingy from the deadly Boney Island. Will Tyler live to regret his souvenir? And can my teeth possibly get any whiter? Find out here, on Total Drama Island!”

-Theme Song-

Open on Chris in a helicopter flying over the cabins. Duncan woke up and panicked, yelling “Hit the deck! They’re coming, man! They found us!”

Harold, DJ, and Geoff were just confused by his antics. Meanwhile, Leshawna woke up and her head on the bunk above her again, saying “Okay, that dude is really starting to get in my last nerve!”

“Whatever, he just loves ruining our mornings,” Heather said with a yawn, “Lindsay, go warm up the shower for me. Now! And remember-!”

“Not too hot this time, I get it.” Lindsay relied.

Cut to all the remaking female campers, except for Heather, waiting outside the communal bathroom.

“What’s the hold up!?” Bridgette asked.

“Heather needs her private time.” Lindsay replied.

“How long’s Queenie gonna be in there!? I’ve got urgent business!” Leshawna said.

“She might be awhile….” Lindsay said.

“Ugh, that’s it! I’m going on the woods.” Gwen said as she marched away.

“I hope you’re ready for the most challenging challenge yet!” Chris said over the loudspeakers, “Breakfast in three minutes at the campfire pit!”

“Umm, Heather?” Lindsay said while knocking on the bathroom door.

“Can you come in to heat the shower and lotion my back? It’s peeling.” Heather said.

Lindsay sighed and walked in.

Cut to the remaking fifteen campers around the campfire pit, where Chris said, “Are you ready for today’s EXTREME, MAX IMPACT CHALLENGE!?”

“We! Are! Ready!” Owen yelled.

“Incoming!” Chris yelled as he threw a can of beans, which Trent caught before it could hit Gwen in the face.

“This is breakfast.” Chris said as he tossed a cab of beans to everyone.

“No, breakfast is crepes, croissants, even Chef’s crappy burnt eggs.” Heather said.

“Beans, beans, they’re good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you-“ Owen sang before getting cut off by a can hitting his head.

“Todays challenge is about survival. We’re going hunting,” Chris said while holding up a paintball gun.

“Now that’s more like it!” Duncan said.

“Isn’t that a paintball gun?” Harold asked.

“Why yes, Harold. It is,” Chris said before shooting a paintball at Harold.

“So we won’t be killing anything?” Bridgette asked.

“Negatory,” Chris said, causing Bridgette to smile, “This is the first ever Paintball Deer Hunt! I’ll announce the teams once we get into the woods. So finish breky!”

Owen burped, having already eaten thirteen cans, “Got any more?”

Cut to the woods, where everyone was lined up, “And now for the team breakdowns! The Killer Bass hunters are Harold, Geoff, and Bridgette, locked and loaded with Bass Blue paint!” Chris said as he tossed them the orange paintball guns.

“And using green paint are the Gopher hunters! Leshawna, Tyler, Owen, and Lindsay!” Chris said as he tossed them the green paintball guns.

“Wahoo! This is awesome, man!” Owen yelled.

“You’ll also get these stylin’ goggles and wicked camo caps! The rest of you, so Heather, Noah, Gwen, Trent, Sadie, DJ, Duncan, and Courtney, are now deer. Here are your antlers, noses, and little white tails.” he said as he tossed them to the other campers.

“Yeah, right. I’m not wearing that.” Heather said.

“There is no way I’m a deer.” Duncan said angrily.

“Take these out, and your team is toast. And you’ll probably be the one voted off.” Chris said.

Owen laughed at Duncan’s misfortune.

“You better be a good shot, tubby.” Duncan said.

Cut to the Bass deer walking together in the woods.

“At least we get a head start.” Courtney said.

“So do you guys think we should stick together or split up?” Sadie asked.

“I don’t know about y’all, but I’m outta here.” DJ said as he hopped away on all fours to the shock of the other three.

Cut to the Gopher deer walking together.

“This may be the lamest thing I’ve ever done in my life.” Gwen said.

“I’m taking these off as soon as I can.” Heather said.

“Sure, go ahead. But then we’ll be disqualified. And you know who’s getting voted off of that happens.” Noah said.

—Confessional: Noah—

“Thanks to whatever the heck happened after the canoe trip, I’m down an ally. Thankfully, Heather’s still the bigger target right now. But once she’s gone, I have no way of knowing who they’ll target.” For some reason, Noah was in a full body cast and a wheelchair during this confessional.

—Confessional: Heather—

“That twerp almost got me voted off. He needs to go as soon as possible. But how can I orchestrate his downfall?”

Cut to the Gopher deer continuing to walk, only for Heather to sit on a stump and begin filing her nails.

“Are you coming?” asked Trent.

“No, I’m going to wait for Lindsay and Tyler and make them protect me for the whole game.”

“Wouldn’t that be against the rules?” Gwen asked.

“Do you see a rules person anywhere? Worry about your own fluffy tails.” Heather said as the other three walked off.

Cut to the Bass hunters.

“And… break!” Geoff said as he and Harold put their goggles on, while Bridgette just looked dejected.

“Okay, you do realize that this is all just pretend, right? And that it’s just paint? So if you, like, hit Heather….” Harold said to her.

“Wait, Heather’s a deer? Oh, it’s so on,” Bridgette said as she put on her goggles and walked into the first with her teammates.

“Start your paintballs! Game on!” Chris said over the loudspeaker.

“Alright, let’s go, dudes!” Tyler said.

“Oh, I am down with that.” Leshawna said as Owen splashed a jar of yellow liquid onto himself.

“What are you doing?” asked Lindsay.

“Masking my scent so the deer don’t smell me coming!” he replied.

“Tell me that isn’t-“ Leshawna began before getting cut off.

“Pee? Yes! Yes it is!”

“Eww, gross, dude,” Tyler said.

“I’ve got some more if you need some.”

“We’re hunting the other campers,” Leshawna said, “You don’t have to hide your scent.”

“You mean I collected all this pee for nothing!?” Owen said as he threw the bottle away, causing Lindsay and Tyler to run away screaming.

“Dude, you are one sick ticket.” Leshawna said as she too walked away.

Cut to Lindsay and Tyler walking through the forest, “Aww, man! We’re back to where we started!” Tyler said.

“Ahem, what took you so long!?” Heather asked, as it turns out she was nearby.

“Were we supposed to look for you?” Lindsay asked.

“Hello, alliance, anyone?” Heather said.

“Ooh! Ooh! Me! Can I be in one?” Lindsay asked.

“You already are, Lindsay, that’s the point!” Heather said, “Now go find me some berries! I’m starving!”

Lindsay ran off to find some berries.

“Shouldn’t we be, y’know, hunting?” Tyler asked.

“She is hunting. For me. But actually, berries won’t be enough. Go get me some chips.”

“Uhh… in the forest?”

“In the dining hall! Now! I need to plan out how to get rid of Noah!”

Tyler begrudgingly walked off.

“And not barbecue!” Heather yelled.

—Confessional: Tyler—

“Heather’s bossiness is really starting to annoy me. And I don’t think hunters bring deer food! …don’t tell Heather I said any of this.”

Cut to Owen on his own, narrating his hunt, “The hunter is a finely-tuned machine, his sense heightened by the thrill of the chase.”

He then spots DJ, eating grass like a deer, “Suddenly, our hunter spots a magnificent Buck in the clearing. If he’s to succeed, the hunter must demonstrate patience and control,” he then farted from all the beans he ate, causing DJ to almost run off.

Cut to Tyler sitting under a bench in front of the main lodge as Chef walked out whistling. Seeing his chance to get in, he tried to get out from under the table, only to bang his head. However, Chef failed to notice him, and Tyler ran inside.

Cut back to DJ eating grass as a bird lands on his antlers. From the bushes, Owen continued his narration, “The hunter moves in, aware of every proton in his environment-AH CRAP!” he yelled as a snake crawled on him, which he quickly through off.

Now that DJ notices Owen’s there, he hops away.

“It’s on, DJ! Your butt’s a hamburger, and I’m one hot barbecue!”

Cut back to Tyler stealing a bag of barbecue chips. He was about the run out, only to see Chef through the window, so he hid under the table. Just then, his tiki idol fell out of his pocket. Chef heard the noise and sniffed around. Tyler tried to sneak out, but Chef noticed him. Tyler screamed and ran, making it all the way into the woods, failing to notice the hole in the bag.

—Confessional: Tyler—

“So, there I am, running away from Chef through the woods with a bag of chips. And then I realized! I don’t care what Heather wants me to do! She barely even saved herself from elimination, she has no control over saving me! I’m only in this alliance because Lindsay is! I don’t need Heather!”

This realization now having hit Tyler, he reached down and began eating the chips himself.

Cut back to DJ running away from Owen.

“You’re my burger now, DJ!” Owen yelled while shooting at him. Coming to a river, DJ hopped onto a rock in the middle and hopped over to the other side. Owen tried to do same, only to land on his crotch.

Cut to Tyler walking through the woods with the chips as he heard a rustling in the bush and said, “Whoever you are, just shoot me. You can’t make today any worse.”

Noah hopped out of the bushes and said, “I’m a deer. Can’t exactly do that. So how goes the hunting?”

“I am really starting to not like this game.”

“And why’s that? Have you found anyone yet?”

“No. But I did break into the cafeteria to steal Heather a bag of chips!”

“Dude, seriously? Why do you keep doing everything she says?”

“Believe me, man, I don’t want to. She just says that since she saved my butt from elimination a few challenges ago, she’ll get everyone to vote for me if I don’t work with her.”

“Do you really think she has that kind of power? She would’ve gotten eliminated last night if the RCMP didn’t show up to get Izzy. She doesn’t have any control over our votes.”

“Yeah, I’m beginning to realize that.”

“All of us are planning to vote for Heather again tonight if we lose. You’re welcome to join us on that.”

“Y’know what, I think I just might. Thanks for the advice, dude.”

Just then, the found Heather still sitting on the stump, asking “What took you so long!? And why are you with that snake!?”

“Here, take your chips! I hope you know what I’ve had to go through!”

Heather swiped the chips before looking into the bag and saying, “There’s like… eleven chips left! And they’re barbecue! Go exchange them for dill pickle.” she dropped the bag onto the floor.

“Y’know what? No.” Tyler responded.

“What did you just say!? Take it back!”

“No.”

“Take. It. Back.”

“No! I’m tired of doing everything you make me do! Now I’m gonna go hunt some deer.”

“You know you’ll get eliminated if you stop listening to me!”

“Yeah, I don’t think he’s falling for that anymore. You have six people against you now, Heather. Good luck surviving the elimination.” Noah said as he picked up the chip bag and walked off, Tyler walking off too.

Just then, Heather got shot by two paintballs, “Ugh! Whoever you are, that was so not cool!”

Bridgette and Harold high fived in the distance.

Cut back to DJ running away from Owen, now running up the big cliff.

“The… hunter’s courage…” Owen said in between breaths, “and desire… will not… stop!”

Just then, the duo came to the edge of the cliff.

“You’re mine now, deer!” Owen prepared to fire his gun, only for it to jam. DJ scowled at Owen and began to walk towards him, causing Owen to worriedly say, “Um… the hunter knows that his prey will stay there for a moment, paralyzed in, uhh, fear and respect? The deer cannot best the hunter! …hey dude, c’mon now. L-let’s talk about this!”

DJ threw Owen off the cliff, Owen screaming the whole way down as DJ walked back into the forest.

Cut to Heather storming through the woods and finding Lindsay, still picking berries.

“Heather, look! I have blueberries!” Lindsay said, only for Heather to smack them out of her hands, “Oh….”

“Follow me.” Heather said sternly.

Cut to Noah walking along while munching on some chips, unaware of the crumb trail he was leaving behind.

Cut to Tyler about to shoot Sadie with his paintball gun, only for Heather to walk up and yell, “Hey, Tyler!”

Hearing this, Sadie ran off.

“Dude, I almost had her!” Tyler yelled.

“We’ve been talking about you.” Heather said.

“We have?” Lindsay asked.

“Zip it, Lindsiot. We’ve decided to give you one last chance. If you take it back, you can rejoin our alliance.”

“Take back what?” Tyler asked.

“The N-word. No.” Heather said sternly.

“I’m not gonna take it back.”

“You are nothing without me! You hear me!? Nothing!”

“Do you know why we keep losing challenges!?”

“Because they’re lame and stupid!?”

“No, it’s because you care more about being a jerk to the rest of us that you don’t even try! All you do is boss us around! Noah’s right, man, you’re going home next time we lose!”

Heather gasped, took off her deer nose, and threw it at Tyler.

“Oh, that’s it, dude!” Tyler said.

“Bring it, loser!”

Cut to a now soaking wet Owen trudging through the woods, saying “You can leave the hunter with less ammo than he thought he had. You can throw him over a cliff. You can even leave him with a case of toe cramps. But you cannot break his spirit!”

Just then, he heard a twig snapping.

Cut to Duncan walking through the woods as Owen sees him, whispering “Fresh meat!”

Cut back to Heather, saying to Tyler, “I am giving you one last chance.”

“Why!? Because you know you’ll be out of here without your alliance!?” he responded.

“I can make your life miserable here!”

“You already do! You treat Lindsay and I like crap! What do I have to lose!?”

Cut to Leshawna, saying to herself, “Two hours of sneaking around in the woods and I haven’t shot a darn thing. What kind of messed up person actually does this for fun?”

She overhears Heather yelling, “Fine! Be all alone, then! Loser!”

“It’s better than working for you!” Tyler yelled back.

Leshawna, unable to see who was yelling, just shrugged and shot Heather.

“Ow! Who was that!?”

“Oh, I knew I should’ve gone to the optometrist before I came out here. Heh, sorry about that.” Leshawna said.

“You!” Heather yelled before turning back to Tyler, “Give me your gun! Give it!”

Instead, Tyler shot her in the leg, causing Heather to fall over while saying, “Ow! Charlie horse!”

“Dude, you crazy.” Leshawna said.

“Yeah, it was a long time coming.” he replied as the two laughed.

“Stop laughing!” Heather yelled.

Cut back to Duncan drinking some lake water with his hand. Owen watched from a nearby tree and said, “This is the shot of the day. With one paintball, hunter and prey’s mutual destines will be fulfilled.” as he prepared to take the shot, he farted again, alerting Duncan of his presence.

“Beans.” Duncan said as he looked up the tree, “Owen! Nice try, Farticus! You almost had me!”

Duncan ran off while Owen fell into a pile of mud.

Cut back to Heather, Lindsay, Tyler, and Leshawna, “Give me that!” Heather said as she took Lindsay’s gun and began shooting at Leshawna and Tyler.

“That’s it! You’re done!” Leshawna said as she and Tyler began to fire back at Heather while Lindsay cowered.

Cut to Duncan spray painting a skull onto a tree. Just then, Courtney came by and asked, “Why do you smell worse than usual?”

“It’s Owen’s stink. It’s following me around like my juvenile record.” Duncan replied.

“Well, I’m heading back. This stupid game must be almost over by now.”

“You’re going the wrong way.”

“Excuse me? I was a C.I.T., remember? I have a natural sense of direction. Camp is this way.”

“No, it’s that way.”

The duo both tried to walk in opposite ways, only to bump into each other and get their antlers stuck together.

“Very funny. Now let me go!”

“Hey Princess, this isn’t my idea of fun either.”

—Confessional: Duncan—

“Sure, we could’ve taken those lame-o antler hats off, but Miss Counselor in Training would probably go blabber to Chris and have us disqualified! And hey, I kinda liked it.”

“Great, Duncan. Now what!?”

“You wanna make out?”

Courtney had nothing to say to that.

Cut to Bridgette, Geoff, and Harold walking through the forest when the overheard Leshawna, Tyler, and Heather’s fight. Seeing their chance, the three opened fire on them.

“This is really fun!” Bridgette said.

“Attention, human wildlife and hunters! Please report back to camp! It’s time to show your hides and tally up the scores!” Chris said over the loud speaker.

“Ugh! This so isn’t over!” Heather said as she stormed off, dragging Lindsay behind her. As Heather and Lindsay made their way back to camp, taking a different route than Tyler, Leshawna, Harold, Bridgette, and Geoff, they noticed Noah walking through the woods while eating the chips. Unbeknownst to him, a bear was following behind and peacefully eating the crumbs. Heather smirked as she grabbed Lindsay’s gun.

—Confessional: Heather—

“I needed a sure-fire way to make sure I wouldn’t be going home tonight, and I really wanted Mr. Know-It-All gone. This was the perfect opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.”

Heather shot the bear with a paintball gun. The bear roared, and not knowing where else to the shot could’ve come from, ran right at Noah. Now seeing a bear rushing towards him, Noah screamed and ran.

Cut back to where all the campers started, Noah now in a full body cast and wheelchair while scowling at Heather.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk… stealing from Chef… eating chips in the woods… being mauled by bears… do you know what I see here?” Chris said to all the campers, “I see a very undisciplined group, I see a disgraceful mess, I see a massive waste of paint product. And, I have to say, that… was awesome!”

Most campers began to smile as Chris pointed to the Gophers, “When you guys opened fire on your own team… wicked TV, guys.” Chris said.

“Hey, where are Duncan and Courtney?” Harold asked.

Just then, the two walked in, still stuck together.

“Oh, this is too much.” Gwen said.

“Oh, Duncan! You sly dog, you!” Owen said jokingly.

“The girl can’t keep her antlers off me.” Duncan said.

Courtney kicked him in the crotch.

“Can’t even bend over….” Duncan said in pain.

“Easy, Courtney. Our medical tent’s really only equipped for one at a time, and Noah’s pretty messed up.” Chris said.

“And I wonder who’s fault that is.” Noah said as he glared at Heather.

—Confessional: Noah—

“Yeah, I got a pretty good look at that bear before it mauled me. It had a splatter of orange paint on it. I know nobody else here would’ve done that.”

Duncan and Courtney took off their antlers.

“Well, since three members of the Gophers are covered in paint…” Chris began before Lindsay turned around to reveal a bunch of paint on her back, “Make that four, and most of them aren’t even deer, I think we have our winners! Bass, you’re off to a hunting camp shindig!”

The Bass cheered.

“As for you Gophers, we’re not gonna be doing a vote tonight. Noah here’s too injured to continue with the game. Sorry, man.” Chris said.

“Great. Just great. Thanks a lot, Heather.” Noah said as Heather smirked.

Cut to the campfire ceremony, where Chris handed marshmallows out to everyone but Noah, but they were really moreso just a formality.

“Noah, the dock of shame awaits, bro.” Chris said.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ll be rooting on your downfall, you snake.” Noah said to Heather. Heather merely rolled her eyes.

“Can someone help Noah get there?” Chris asked.

“I’ll do it!” Owen said.

“Me too.” Tyler said.

Everyone else waved goodbye and told him to get well soon.

Cut to Tyler and Owen wheeling Noah onto the Boat of Losers, when Owen suddenly burst into tears.

“Woah, calm down, big guy. I’ll be fine.” Noah said.

“I know, but I’ll miss you, little buddy!” Owen said as he ran over to hug Noah, but Noah stopped him before he could accidentally injure him further.

“Yeah, I’ll miss you too. Take down Heather for me, alright?” Noah said.

“Sir, yes, sir!” Owen said saluting.

“Thanks for the advice earlier, dude. It really helped out.” Tyler said.

“Sure thing, Tyler. Just make sure you side with the right people from now on.”

“Will do! Take care, man!”

The Boat then began to drive off as Tyler and Owen waved to Noah.

Chapter Text

Recap:

“Last time on Total Drama Island, our competitions became hunters… and the hunted. Owen’s game was way off, and when he finally caught wind of his prey, he totally blew it. In a weird and strangely watchable twist, Leshawna, Heather, Tyler, and Lindsay turned their paintball guns on each other! It was a full-on wrestle for dominance within the Gopher squad. On their way back, Heather used her paintball gun to get Noah mauled by a bear, making one of our smartest players get medically evacuated from the game. Both teams now have seven players. Can the Bass keep up their winning streak, or is their goose finally cooked? Find out tonight, on Total Drama Island.”

-Theme Song-

Open on the boys side of the Bass cabin. Duncan wakes up and hops off his bunk to begin doing push-ups. …only to notice a pair of Harold’s underwear on the ground, causing Duncan to jump back and Harold to wake up. Geoff and DJ laughed, having also woke up.

“Not cool, Harold. Man, not cool!” Duncan said.

“Those aren’t mine.” Harold said.

“Oh, right. You’re always leaving your gitch lying around.”

“Not I’m not. Gosh!”

“Yeah, you are, dude.” Geoff said.

“You have like absolutely no proof.” Harold said.

“No one else wears that kind, dude.”

“And your mom sewed your name onto the label.” DJ added.

“Whatever! I’m going for a shower!” Harold said as he walked out of the cabin.

“Hey, don’t forget to clean the skid maker!” Duncan yelled out before turning to the other two, “I think Harold needs to be taught a lesson, boys. Who’s with me?”

The trio all collectively high fived.

Cut to the fourteen remaining campers standing on the beach.

“Today’s challenge will test your minds, your teamwork, and your skills in the kitchen. You’ll be cooking a three-course meal and serving it to me. Whoever makes the better food wins the award, and the losers send somebody home. Each team will appoint a head chef to create the theme of the meal and oversee the cooking. To cook, you need ingredients. Every morning, a truck brings us food,” Chris explained as a dolphin backed a food truck out of the lake, “Today’s task starts there.”

As Geoff, DJ, and Duncan opened the back of the truck, Geoff looked around and said, “I’m seeing some meat… tomatoes… pasta… we could do a killer Italian theme!”

“Hello, head chef!” Duncan said.

“Seriously? Then let’s get grabbing!” Geoff replied as the team hopped in to get their ingredients.

“Head chef! Called it!” Heather yelled out, before turning to Tyler and saying, “Try not to screw up this time, okay!?”

“Just ignore her, man.” Leshawna said to Tyler.

—Confessional: Heather—

“I had to take the leadership role. Hello, we’re on a losing streak!? And really, everyone else on the team is pretty useless.”

“Sweet, let’s hit the road!” Geoff said as the Bass carried their food to the kitchen.

“Leshawna, mangoes. Tyler, pineapples. Lindsay, macadamias. Trent, molasses. Owen, ribs. Gwen, tomatoes.” Heather said as the Gophers grabbed what they were assigned.

Cut to the Bass putting their ingredients down in the kitchen.

“Okay, we got like three courses, and six of you. So everybody partner up!” Geoff said.

“I know how to make pasta sauce.” DJ said.

“I know how to boil pasta.” Bridgette as she and DJ high fived.

“Me and Harold can do the anti-pasto!” Sadie said.

“Yeah, I’m like a black belt when it comes to cutting cheese.” Harold said, while everyone laughed.

“What?” Harold asked as everyone continued to chuckle, “What?”

“I guess that leaves you and me on desert detail.” Duncan said to Courtney

“Oh no. No way.” Courtney said.

“C’mon, Courtney. For the team?” Geoff said.

—Confessional: Courtney—

“He’s totally unmotivated. And he never washes his hands! He’s so obnoxious!”

The following confessional has been sped up for your viewing pleasure.

“-owning sunglasses doesn’t automatically make you cool-

The following confessional has been sped up for your viewing pleasure.

“-people like that are so annoying. I mean honestly, who does that? And don’t even get me started on his hair.”

Cut to Geoff in the Bass cabin, picking up all of Harold’s underwear with a stick and putting them into a bag. He came back to the kitchen and gave DJ a thumbs up.

“Uhh, where do you want the water, Bridge?” DJ said as he “accidentally” bumped into Harold and spilled the water onto his pants.

“Hey! Smooth move, Dorkahantas!” Harold said.

“Woah, bummer! Better go change, dude!” Geoff said as he and DJ snickered.

Cut to Heather and the Gophers walking in as Heather barked orders, “Gwen, Lindsay, you’re on the citrus macadamia upside-down cake flambé.”

“Know how to make an upside-down flamer thingy?” Lindsay asked Gwen.

Owen walked in with a giant bag of oranges, which he promptly spilled and slipped on.

“Go back to the truck and get more oranges!” Heather said.

“I’m on it!” Owen said as he walked out.

“Trent, you and Owen are on ribs,” Heather said “Leshawna and Tyler, you’re on pineapple skewers and mango dip.”

“Girl, let me handle the appetizers. I know how to make a pineapple chunny that would melt the socks of the devil!” Leshawna said.

“Oh, really? Well, that’s so great! But since I’m head chef, we’re gonna stick to my plan. And my plan is pineapples with sticks through them! Got it!?” Heather snapped.

Cut to Harold digging through his drawers, “Shirt… shirt… shirt… looks like it’s your time to shine….” Harold said as he pulled out a speedo.

Cut to Owen running through the woods with a crate of oranges, only to run face first into a tree, causing a bunch of bees to chase him.

Cut to the Bass, where DJ and Bridgette watched Geoff whistle as he walked nearby, and DJ told Bridgette, “I think he digs you.”

“Maybe. He is kinda cute.” Bridgette said.

DJ then moved Geoff over to talked to Bridgette.

“Y’know, you look good when you’re cooking dinner,” Geoff began, only to completely mess up whatever he was going for by saying, “Kinda like my friend Evan’s really hot mom!”

“Excuse me?” Bridgette asked, causing DJ to rush back over.

“Geoff! Buddy! Why don’t you, uh, go get us some more tomatoes?” DJ said.

“Sure thing, bud! Later, Bridge!” Geoff said, causing Bridgette to roll her eyes

Cut to Owen bursting into the kitchen with the crate of oranges, saying, “It’s okay everyone, I’m back! Trent, heads up!” as he tossed the oranges to Trent.

…which promptly hit him directly in the head.

“Oops…” Owen said.

—Confessional: Heather—

“Things are going perfectly! Except for Owen’s hornet stings and Trent’s concussion, which means he’s out of today’s challenge, but still, this challenge is totally ours!” Heather facepalmed.

Cut to Duncan using a rolling pin on some dough, while Courtney said, “Careful your big paws don’t mash the pastry.”

“Careful your uptight butt doesn’t curdle the custard.” Duncan responded.

“Oh, hahaha.” she responded, only to wince in disgust as Harold walked in in his speedo.

“Okay, who took all my shorts!?” Harold asked as Geoff, DJ, Duncan, and Sadie laughed.

Chris walked by and winced at seeing Harold in a Speedo before saying, “Three hours and counting, guys.”

Cut to Tyler cutting up pineapples, only for Heather to say, “These slices are totally uneven! Switch places with Leshawna.”

“What are you talking about? They look fine to me.” Leshawna said.

“Umm, I didn’t get to be head chef because of poor presentation!”

“No, you got to be head chef because you called it! And who do you think you’re fooling with this crispy white apron power trip you’re on!?”

“Are you gonna be a team player or not!?”

“Oh, I’m a team player, alright! But I’m also allergic to pineapples!”

“Just get slicing. Now!” Leshawna begrudgingly did, “Thanks, guys.”

“Two faced, bossy little…” Leshawna said, only to look down at her arms and see them covered in red splotches.

“Yo, what do you recommend I do about this!?” Leshawna said.

“Yo, I recommend you scratch after we win!” Heather responded, “Now get back to work!”

Lindsay, Gwen, and Tyler had to hold Leshawna back from attacking Heather.

Cut to Harold chopping up cheese, as Geoff said, “Dude, you gotta put some clothes on, man. It’s unsanitary to cook in something that… small.”

“So give me back my pants then!” Harold yelled.

“Harold’s right, guys. If you go back to the cabin, you’ll find a clean pair of underwear and shorts waiting.” Duncan said.

Harold walked off and the trio began to laugh while Duncan held a hot sauce bottle.

“Okay, what are you guys doing?” Sadie asked.

“Harold keeps leaving his gitch on the floor of the cabin, so we’re getting him back for it.” Duncan responded.

Sadie chuckled, before thinking for a bit and asking, “Say, where did you put his leftover underwear?”

“They’re in a bag under the counter, why?” Duncan asked.

“Because I just thought of something really funny we could do.”

Cut to Harold back at the cabin putting on the pair of underwear and shorts Duncan had left for him.

“That’s more like it.” Harold said as he put the underwear on, only to feel the hot sauce and yell, “My biscuits are burning!”

Harold then ran into the lake to cool himself off, before saying “Idiots!”

Cut to Lindsay looking at her flambé, to which Heather asked, “What’s wrong?”

“We used all the flambé start, but it won’t flambé!” Lindsay replied.

“Nothing happened when you lit it?”

“Ohhhhhh.”

—Confessional: Heather—

“It’s like talking to a deaf eggplant.”

“Pay attention, girls. This is how you flambé. Step 1: Poor the flambé liquid, which you did manage to do. Step 2, of 2: Light it.” Heather said as the flambé exploded on her face, causing Lindsay and Gwen to chuckle.

Heather grabbed a mirror and saw that she no longer had any eyebrows. She screamed and yelled for Owen.

“Is it finally lunch time!?” he asked.

“No! Go get my makeup bag from the cabin!”

“But, the bees….”

“Now!”

Owen walked off as Leshawna tapped Heather on back and said, “Excuse me, I need a bathroom break.”

“Well, evidently, I need new eyebrows, but we don’t always get what we want, do we!? Ugh, it’s like I’m on a team of morons!”

—Confessional: Leshawna—

“Oh, that is it. Someone’s gotta teach this girl a little respect.”

Cut to Harold walking in, now wearing pajamas, as the now quartet of pranksters clapped.

“Nice jammies.” Duncan said sarcastically.

“This is all I’ve got left. So if you sickos wanna see me butt naked, hit me with your best shot.” Harold said.

“Well, stop leaving your butt bags all over the cabin, and we’ll back off.” Duncan replied.

“I told you, it wasn’t me!” Harold denied.

“Well, I tried.” Duncan said.

“Hey everyone, I made some sandwiches so we can eat while we work!” Sadie said as she held up a plate of sandwiches.

“Ah, sweet! I’m seriously starving!” Harold said as he grabbed one.

He took a bite and said, “This tastes like sweat and lotion. It’s probably the worst sandwich ever.” he said before looking down and seeing a pair of his underwear in the sandwich.

“Gross! Et tu, Sadie!?” Harold yelled as the four chuckled.

“We’ll return all your shorts and underwear when you just admit your guilt, dude.” Geoff said.

Cut to Owen trying to get into the Gopher canon. All was going well until he stepped on rake and a beehive fell on his head while he screamed in pain.

Cut to Owen, now covered in stings, stumbling into the kitchen with Heather’s makeup bag.

“Don’t just stand there, give it!” Heather said.

Owen garbled nonsense before falling over as the makeup bag flew out of his hand and into Leshawna’s.

“Tyler!” she yelled out as she tossed the bag to him, who then tossed it to Gwen, who then tossed it to Lindsay.

“Throw it in the fridge, babe!” Tyler yelled.

Lindsay looked conflicted, before deciding to toss it into the fridge with an “Oops.”

Heather ran in to get it, only for Leshawna to lock her in.

“Hey! You can’t do this! I’m head chef!” she yelled.

“Do you think Heather’s really mad at us?” Lindsay asked.

“I will destroy you!” Heather yelled as she made dents in the freezer door.

“She’ll get over it. Girl needs to learn how to chill.” Leshawna said.

Cut to Duncan filling the desserts with custard, only for Courtney to say, “You’re such a slob! They all have to have the same amount of custard!”

“Oh relax, they’re fine. You know, you’d be a lot more fun without that pole up your butt.” Duncan said.

“I’m like the most easygoing person I know!”

“Oh yeah, you’re totally laid back.” Duncan said as he squirted custard at her face. She wiped it off and threw an entire bowl of custard at his head while chuckling.

—Confessional: Duncan—

“Man, that girl creases me. I dig that in a chic.”

—Confessional: Courtney—

“Duncan and me? Right, as if. I’m so sure. Not in a million years. Please. When pigs fly.” Leshawna then yelled from the outside, “Yo, you still busy protesting in there? Or can someone else have a turn?” “Like I was saying, not gonna happen.”

Cut to Tyler placing his tiki idol onto the table and saying, “Your meal is coming right up, dude! I mean, sir!” Tyler said.

Geoff lit the candles on the candelabra before saying, “Back in a sec with your meal, dude! I mean, sir!”

“Yeah, we might just when this thing yet, y’all!” Leshawna said to her team, “Gwen, guard the food. Let’s do this!”

Cut to Heather in the freezer attempting to draw eyebrows onto herself.

Cut to Chris eating the Bass’ anti-pasto, saying “Your anti-pasto passed the testo. Pass the pasta, please!” Chris took a bite and said, “On a scale from one to ten, fifteen! How will the Gophers respond?”

“Owen, you and Gwen carry out the ribs.” Leshawna said.

Owen walked in and he and Gwen came out with the ribs. …only to trip and fall over before it could reach the table. The Gophers just looked shocked.

“Well. I guess that’s a bust, then.” Chris said.

“Maybe you could still eat it?” Tyler asked.

“Yeah, no. One point since it at least looked good. Bass still lead fifteen to eleven. Time for desert.” Chris replied.

Cut to Chris eating the Bass’ desert and saying, “Eh… six. The Bass have 21. The Gophers need all ten points just to tie it up. I have to say, this desert looks like a winner!”

Chris poked the flambé with his fork and it instantly shriveled up. He tried to take a bite anyway and immediately began choking.

“Hang on there!” Owen said as he gave Chris the Heimlich. Chris spit out the food as Owen said, “Yes! Got it!”

“What even is this!?” Chris asked.

“It’s Heather’s recipe!” Lindsay said, before gasping, “Oh my gosh! She’s still in the fridge!”

Chris looked at Leshawna, who just said, “What? Girl was making everyone trip.”

“Oh, I hear that.” Chris said.

Heather walked out into the room and everyone gasped, with Owen yelling “Oh, the horror!”

Heather was now completely blue, “You guys are s-s-s-so dead! Is it over?”

“It is! The Bass win 21-12! And it’s not just because I almost died. I didn’t even get any ribs.” Chris replied as the Bass.

“Great! That’s just great! Why do we keep losing, people!?” Heather asked, before walking over to the table and seeing the tiki and asking, “And what is this!? I didn’t approve this!”

“It’s my good luck charm, I brought it back from the other island.” Tyler said.

“You did WHAT!?” Heather asked.

“You mean Boney Island!? The deadliest island in Muskoka!? The one I specifically said not to take anything from, or you’ll be cursed!?” Chris said.

“What!? I never heard anything about a curse!” Tyler said shocked.

“Okay, the Killer Bass now lead with seven members to the Screaming Gophers’ soon to be six,” Chris began, “And as promised, winners will be enjoying a reward tonight. A five star dinner under the stars.”

The Bass cheered, and Duncan hugged Courtney.

“Okay, put me down.” she replied while laughing, “Put me down!”

Cut to Leshawna, Owen, Trent, and Gwen sitting in front of their cabin.

“I don’t know about y’all, but Heather has got to go.” Leshawna said.

“Yeah, but Tyler cursed us with that weird wooden tiki doll thingy!” Owen said.

“Hmm, true. Dear curse, please hit Heather next. And if possible, hit her upside the head!”

Cut to inside the cabin, where Heather was talking to Lindsay, saying, “You know Lindsay, I could convince the team to vote you off tonight. You were a major traitor. But, you did let me out of the fridge, so, I’ll give you one more chance, if you vote with me tonight.”

Lindsay nodded solemnly.

“There, see? All better. Oh, and if you ever team up with Leshawna against me again, I’ll cut of all your hair while you’re sleeping!” Heather said, causing Lindsay to panic.

—Confessional: Heather—

“Today’s vote was really hard, but only because there were so many annoying people to choose from.”

—Confessional: Lindsay—

“I can’t believe we locked her in the fridge! That was so cool! …she’s not gonna see this, is she?”

—Confessional: Heather—

“Leshawna is a royal pain in the butt, and Owen and Gwen completely screwed up everything for us.”

—Confessional: Lindsay—

“Her eyebrows look so bad! I’d kinda like to vote Heather off, but….”

—Confessional: Heather—

“I vote for Tyler.”

—Confessional: Owen—

Owen burped, but his burp sounded like “Tyler.”

Cut to the Campfire Ceremony, where the Gophers and Bass were in the same spots they’d been for over a week now.

“I’ve got seven Gophers sitting in front of me tonight, but only six fluffy bits of sweet safety in my hands. So, good luck,” Chris began, “The following campers are safe. Leshawna.”

Leshawna caught hers without much surprise.

“Gwen.”

“Trent.”

“Lindsay.”

“Owen.”

“Heather, Tyler, down to you. Whoever doesn’t get this last marshmallow must immediately walk down the Dock of Shame and leave on the Boat of Losers. Forever,” Chris began as the final two looked worried, “The final marshmallow goes to…”

…

…

…

…

…

“Heather.”

“You heard him. Boat of Losers, thattaway. Really was stupid if you to take that doll from the island.” Heather said as Tyler got up sadly.

“See ya, man.” Leshawna said.

“Wait! Tyler!” Lindsay said as she ran up to him and hugged him, “I’ll really miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, Linds. Maybe once this is all over, we could hang out sometime?” Tyler asked.

“I’d love that.” Lindsay responded as she kissed him on the cheek. Tyler smiled and walked towards the Boat of Losers, waving to Lindsay as he did.

“That’s it for tonight. And you might wanna burn some sage to get rid of any lingering curse vibes.” Chris said.

“Cool, will Chef give us some sage?” Leshawna asked.

“Nope. So, good luck with that.”

Cut to the boys side of the Bass cabin at night, where Harold was asleep. Duncan, DJ, Geoff, and Sadie all lifted up his bed and carried it to the Dock.

Cut to the next morning, where Harold was awoken by the sound of everyone else laughing while in the lake. Harold looked down to see that he was only in his speedo, and hastily covered up with a pillow.

Just then, Duncan, DJ, Geoff, and Sadie rowed by on a canoe, and Duncan asked, “So, learned your lesson yet?” Duncan asked.

“Yes! Okay, yes!” Harold replied.

“Oh, we’re gonna need more than that!” Sadie said.

“I’ll never leave my crusty underwear out again! I swear!” Harold yelled.

“What the heck? I believe him.” DJ said.

“Pleasure doing business with ya!” Geoff yelled as he tossed Harold the bag with all his clothes.

Harold caught them and ran off to put them on while everyone laughed.

—Voting: Leshawna—

“I feel kinda bad voting for Tyler after everything with the paintball challenge, but he did curse us.”

—Voting: Gwen—

“I doubt Tyler really “cursed our team”. I’m still going with Heather.”

—Voting: Trent—

“I was out cold all day. Owen said something about Tyler “cursing the team” or whatever, so I’ll just go with him.”

—Voting: Lindsay—

“Heather wants me to vote for Tyler, but I can’t do that! How do you choose between your boyfriend and your BFF!? Umm… umm… I’ll just vote for Owen?”

—Voting: Owen—

“Sorry, Tyler, but cursing your team is a big no-no.”

—Voting: Heather—

“Serves you right, traitor.”

—Voting: Tyler—

“How was I supposed to know we’d get cursed!? I hope everyone still votes for Heather.”

Chapter Text

Recap:
“Last time on Total Drama Island, things really got cooking between the campers. Heather pushed Leshawna too far in the cook off challenge, and ended up one chilly gal. Owen had a hard day, too. Geoff led the Killer Bass to victory, and the Screaming Gophers lost for the fourth time in a row. Tyler got sent home for accidentally cursing the team, but have the Gophers broken that curse? And just how much trust do they have in one another? Find out this week, on Total Drama Island!”

-Theme Song-

Open on Gwen getting her breakfast from Chef, with him saying, “Today’s breakfast is Hawaiian Italian fusion casserole!”

“You mean leftovers from the cooking challenge?” Gwen asked.

“Yeah, that’s right! You got a problem with that!?”

“Sir! No sir!” Gwen said as she saluted, with Chef saluting back.

Cut to Heather at the table, wrapped in a blanket with a tissue.

“Need a little echinacea?” Gwen asked sarcastically.

“Oh, you’re so funny.” Heather replied sarcastically, “You think you can just lock me up in a freezer and get away with it? I am gonna make you sorry that you ever met me.”

“Too late.”

“You are such a-a-a-achoo! Ugh, I hate this place!”

Cut to the Bass table, where DJ was feeding Bunnie. Meanwhile, Duncan grabbed a mug from the drink stand and hid it under his shirt, only for Courtney to come over and say, “I saw that! How could you just steal a mug?”

“Cuz it’s cool looking and I don’t have one. Didn’t have one that is.” Duncan replied as the two walked over to the table.

“But you might get kicked off!”

“Aww, and here I thought you didn’t care about me.”

“We have a one player advantage, and I don’t wanna lose that because you went all criminal on us!”

“Whatever, you dig me.”

“Ugh, why do I even bother!?”

Cut to Chris standing in the woods, before saying to the camera, “Hi. Chris here. Sometimes teams just don’t get along. So the producers and I thought that the best way to work through the group fiction would be… to exploit it for laughs. This is gonna be awesome!”

Cut to the remaining thirteen campers on the dock as Chris said, “So, the last challenge exposed a few Gopher issues, and I’m sensing a little something funny floating in the Bass pond too.” Duncan poked Courtney with his elbow at that, and she responded but shock him to the ground.

“So, today’s challenge is gonna be centered around building trust. Because all good things begin with a little trust.” Chris continued.

—Confessional: Gwen—

“I trusted Trent once. He left me buried alive on the beach.”

“There will be three major challenges that will have to be completed by two or more members of your team.” Chris continued as Duncan and Courtney rolled their eyes, “Normally, we like to have our campers choose their partners, but not this time! More fun for me!”

—Confessional: Sadie—

“Everyone else on my team is a lot closer to each other than they are to me, so if we lose, I’ll probably be kicked off. Since the partners are random, maybe I could prove my worth to the others!”

Cut to the campers at the cliff, where Chris said, “Okay, so for the first challenge, you’ll be doing an extreme, free-hand rock climbing adventure! DJ will be climbing for the Bass while Duncan holds his belay. Gwen climbs for the Gophers while Heather holds her belay.”

“Ugh.” Gwen said.

“Here’s the belays and harnesses.” Chris said as he tossed them to Heather and Duncan.

“The catch this time around is that both sides of the cliff are rigged with a few minor distractions, like rusty nails, slippery oil slicks, mild explosives, and a few other surprises.” Chris informed the group.

“Wicked.” Harold said.

“Uh, yeah! Wicked!” Sadie said nervously.

“The person on belay must also harness their partner up. It’s all about trust, people. And remember, never let go of the rope. Your partner’s life depends on it.” Chris said.

“Excuse me, can we trade partners? I really don’t feel like being dropped on my head today.” Gwen said.

“Please. As much as I love your company, I’m not gonna throw a challenge just to kill you. Yet.” Heather said.

“Wouldn’t put it past you after you got Noah mauled by a bear.” Gwen replied.

“You have no proof I was at fault for for that. Now spread ‘em.”

“Never tried this before. Have you?” DJ said.

“Oh yeah, they teach you how to climb walls in prison all the time.” Duncan said sarcastically.

“Oh! I have! Katie and I did this a lot in seventh grade! I-I can tie the belay if you need any help!” Sadie said.

“No thanks, I’m good.” Duncan replied as Bunnie peaked out of DJ’s pocket.

“Aw, sorry, little buddy. You can’t come up with me. You can trust Geoff, he’s my buddy. Yo Geoff, hold Bunnie while I’m on the rock.” DJ said as he handed Bunnie to Geoff, “Thanks, bro.”

“Sure, man. Little furry dude. What’s up?” Geoff asked Bunnie.

“Uh, I can help watch it! It’s probably not like watching my snake, but I could still try!” Sadie said.

“Nah, it’s cool. I got this.” Geoff said.

“There, you’re all hooked up.” Heather said as Gwen looked down at her harness.

“What’s the second rope for?” Gwen asked.

“It’s a backup line.”

“What are you smiling about?”

“Nothing. I’m just really happy we got on this challenge together.”

“I’d ask what you’re up to, but the challenge is about to start.”

—Confessional: Heather—

“It’s all her fault after messing with me. I’ve got a doctorate in revenge and humiliation.”

Gwen and DJ began climbing, with Gwen being considerably faster than DJ. She almost fell, but Heather begrudgingly stopped her fall.

“I promised surprises!” Chris said as he pulled up a water gun, “Habanero Pepper Sauce, anyone!?”

He fired the gun at Heather, who let go of the rope to rub her eyes, causing Gwen to fall. Chris then fired at Duncan, who managed to catch it all in his mouth.

“Is that the best you can do?” he asked.

“Is that the best we can do?” Chris asked the camera crew.

Cut back to the rock wall, where Gwen had overtaken DJ once again.

“Come on, Gwen. You don’t wanna fall behind.” Heather said as she pulled at the second rope, which made Gwen’s skirt rip of as she screamed in surprise.

“Well, you don’t see that every day.” Duncan said.

“No, you don’t, my man. No you don’t.” Chris replied.

The skirt had landed on DJ’s eyes, causing him to fall as Gwen grabbed it back. The rope tied around Duncan’s foot, causing both of them to get suspended mid-air.

“This bites.” Duncan said.

“Big time.” DJ added.

“Ah, screw it.” Gwen said as she held her skirt in her mouth and continued climbing.

“Looks like the Gophers have won the first challenge!” Chris said. Gwen cheered and immediately ran off to get another skirt.

Cut to the main lodge, where Trent and Lindsay were at one table while Bridgette and Geoff were at the other. Chris did multiple flips midair and landed at his podium before saying, “And now for round two! The extreme cooking challenge!” just then, a stunt double that looked nothing like him crawled away from behind the podium as everyone watched.

“Each team must choose who cooks and who eats.” Chris continued.

“I was head chef last time, you wanna cook?” Geoff asked as Bridgette nodded.

“Ooh, Todd! I’ll be the cook!” Lindsay said.

—Confessional: Trent—

“Okay, she’s no Stephen Hawking, but hey, it’s cooking. How bad could she screw it up?”

“Today you’ll be preparing fugu sashimi, the traditional Japanese poisonous blowfish.” Chris said as Chef rolled them in, “The fugu blowfish contains enough lethal toxins to kill thirty people.”

“Fishes, meet your maker!” Chef said as he handed them to Bridgette and Lindsay.

“They must be sliced very carefully. Cut around the poisonous organs. The poison paralyzed the nerves and there is no antidote. So no worries.” Chris said as Lindsay poked the blowfish.

—Confessional: Chris—

“Don’t worry, we had the toxins diluted so that they’d only paralyze for a day. I just wanted to freak ‘em out a bit.”

“You have taken biology, right?” Trent asked Lindsay, who nodded, “Phew.”

Just then, Lindsay’s poking at the blowfish caused to fly off like a balloon.

Cut to them already being done preparing the meal. Bridgette’s looked perfect. Lindsay’s looked about how you’d expect.

Geoff ate the sashimi and… was completely fine.

“Excellent!” he said.

“Ta-da!” Lindsay said as she placed her plate down, which looked like a pile of chum that she made a smiley face on with ketchup.

Trent ate a bite and… punched himself in the face repeatedly and screamed. After that though, he was fine. …until he fell over and began puking.

“I thought you said you passed biology?” he managed to say.

“I said I took biology.” she relied as Trent passed out.

“It’s cool, give him 24 hours and he’ll be up and breathing, good as new.” Chris said as Chef put Trent into a stretcher and carried him to the infirmary.

“Well, I’m gonna go for a swim.” Bridgette said as she walked out of the main lodge, “You wanna come too, Geoff?”

“Sure thing, Bridge!” he replied as Sadie walked up to them.

“Ooh! Ooh! Can I come too?” she asked.

“Uhh, sure, I guess.” Bridgette responded.

Cut to them all running at the dock, Geoff saying “Last one in’s a rotten blowfish!” beforing remembering he had Bunnie riding in his pocket.

“Whoops! Woah, I gotta put Bunnie in a safe spot first!” Geoff said as he put the rabbit into the lifeguard’s chair.

“You were so brave to eat that fish.” Bridgette said.

“No biggie, I knew I could trust you.” Geoff replied, “You’re cool.”

Just then the two of them got splashed with water, as they hadn’t noticed Sadie jump in.

“Oh! Sorry! I didn’t mean to splash you!” Sadie said.

“It’s alright. Cannonball!” Geoff said as he and Bridgette jumped in.

—Confessional: Sadie—

“I think I might’ve interrupted a romantic moment between those two. Ugh, I’m just trying to get closer to everyone, but I feel like my attempts are just making things worse!”

Cut to Trent still twitching in the infirmary, when Chef walked up to him with a syringe while in a nurse’s outfit and told him, “This won’t hurt a bit. It’ll hurt a whole lot.”

Cut to Geoff, Bridgette, and Sadie getting out of the water and drying off, only notice a snake swallow Bunnie.

“No! Bunnie!” Geoff yelled.

“It’s okay, my snake does this all the time with my phone and stuff! I know what to do!” Sadie said as she quietly snuck up to the snake.

…only for an eagle to swoop down and carry the snake to the end of the dock.

“The eagle! Get it!” Bridgette yelled out to them.

“How!?” Geoff asked.

“Grab it by the feet or the wings or something!” Bridgette said.

“That’s it. Here eagle, eagle, eagle….” Geoff said as he and Sadie walked up to it.

…only for a shark to pop out of the water and eat the eagle. And therefore also the snake. And therefore also Bunnie.

“Aw, come on!” Geoff yelled.

Cut to all the campers in the woods, where Chris said, “Good news! The third round involves three more challenges. It’s the three blind challenges! It begins with the blind William Tell, followed by the blind trapeze, and culminating with the treacherous blind toboggan.”

“So, where’s Bunnie? I miss her.” DJ told Geoff.

“Uhh, Bunnie? I’ll go- I’ll go get them!” Geoff said as he walked away while Bridgette and Sadie looked at each other in worry.

Chris then placed an arrow on DJ’s head before saying, “Like legendary marksman William Tell, you’ll be knocking arrows off your partners head’s with crab apples.”

“Umm, wasn’t it the other way around?” Courtney asked.

“Yes, but there’s no way legal would’ve cleared that. Also, the shooter will be blindfolded. The person who knocks off the arrow while causing the least amount of facial damage wins.” Chris said as he slinged a crab apple at DJ, which managed to hit him in the crotch.

“Aw, nuts. Owen and Leshawna, you’ll be one team, Courtney and Sadie, you’ll be the other.” Chris said.

“I’m violently allergic to crab apples.” Harold said.

“Then it’s a good thing you’re not playing.” Chris added.

“Ooh, let me shoot! I’m a good shot!” Sadie said.

“You’d better be.” Courtney said with a sigh.

“Okay, let’s rock n’ roll!” Chris said.

Cut to Courtney and Owen with arrows on their heads. Leshawna and Sadie both began firing, but neither could get it just right. Owen barely felt the damage from each apple, but Courtney felt it a lot. Eventually, Leshawna managed to lock the arrow off first.

“Ooh, did I get a bullseye?” Leshawna asked.

“Okay, I’ve still got this!” Sadie said.

“Leshawna won already!” Chris said, which Sadie did not hear.

“You moron, it’s over!” Courtney yelled, only to get by another apple.

Sadie kept firing apples and managed to knock out a bear, a gull, Sasquatchanakwa, and somehow even a shark.

“Sadie! It’s over, man! Let it go!” Chris yelled.

“Oops… sorry….” Sadie said worriedly.

“You’re… going… down….” Courtney mumbled before collapsing.

—Confessional: Sadie—

“Alright, it’s official. I have done nothing but make things worse.”

Cut to the campers, sans the injured Trent and Courtney, in front of a trapeze over a pool of water, “And now, the blind trapeze. To avoid serious injury, the trapeze has been set up over this pond. …which we’ve now realized is full of jellyfish.” Chris explained as everyone gasped.

“Heather and Bridgette will stand on the platform until Lindsay and Harold tell you win to jump.” Chris continued.

“And then?” Heather asked.

“Then, hopefully they’ll catch you. Or that’s gonna be another infirmary bed in use. Okay, hut, hut!” Chris said.

“So yo, where’s Bunnie at?” DJ asked Geoff.

“Uhh… I forgot! I put them, uhh..” Geoff began.

“Uhh, there was a snake! Y-yeah, and it made Bunnie run off into the… the woods, yeah!” Sadie interjected, “But, uhh, I’m sure she’ll be back!”

“Sorry, dude.” Geoff said.

“Nah. It’s not y’all’s fault. My little bunny… we were such good friends.” DJ began before collapsing to his knees and yelling, “Bunnie! Why’d ya do me like this!?”

Hearing this, Duncan walked away.

—Confessional: Sadie—

“So today, I’ve awkwardly interrupted Harold, Duncan, and Geoff, interrupted Geoff and Bridgette’s romantic moment, failed to save DJ’s rabbit despite being the only one with snake experience, failed my part of the challenge, sent Courtney to the infirmary, and tried and failed to convince DJ that his rabbit just ran away, and Duncan got annoyed at this all and left. I think I’ve just made my relationship with everyone 1,000 time worse.”

Cut to Harold swinging on the trapeze and saying, “Okay, Bridgette, jump now!”

Bridgette was too scared to jump.

“If we’re going to win, you’ve got to trust me!” Harold said.

“Okay! Sorry! Next time!” Bridgette replied.

“Okay. One… two… three… jump!”

Bridgette jumped, and thankfully, Harold caught her.

“Alright, you did it! Wahoo!” Geoff yelled out as Sadie breathed a sigh of relief.

“Alright, Heather, it’s your turn!” Chris yelled out.

“Okay, one… two… three… jump! Oh no wait, don’t!” Lindsay said.

Unfortunately for her, Heather had already jumped and was now screaming at the jellyfish stings.

“Ooh, that’s a point for the Killer Bass.” Chris said.

—Confessional: Gwen—

“Ah, sometimes the universe gives you a freebie.”

—Confessional: Sadie—

“O-okay, we’re still tied. We can still win this! …I hope.”

Cut to Heather sitting on an infirmary bed while a jellyfish sat on her head.

Just then Courtney woke up and asked, “Where am I?”

“You’re in the infirmary.” Heather relied before turning to Chef and asking, “Got anything for removing jellyfish?”

Chef nodded, and Heather gave a thumbs up before lying down.

Courtney then turned to her left and saw Duncan leading a rabbit through the forest with a carrot.

“What’s Duncan doing with a rabbit?” she asked.

Cut to the nine campers that weren’t currently in or next to the infirmary, “And now, the final leg. The blind toboggan race.” Chris began.

“Say what!?” Leshawna asked.

“Each team will have a driver and a navigator. The driver steers while the navigator shouts directions. Oh yeah, and the driver will be blindfolded.” Chris said as everyone gasped, “Only nine of you left, huh? Keep losing you guys. Oh well. Uhh, Gwen, Leshawna, Geoff, and DJ.”

“Y-you guys totally got this!” Sadie said.

Cut to Gwen, Leshawna, Geoff, and DJ at the top of the hill, where Geoff said, “DJ, dude? I know you’re sad about your pet bunny, but we’ve gotta focus here! This could be life or seriously heinous injury, bro!”

“Bunnie deserted me. Why should I trust you?” DJ asked.

“Because I don’t wanna get hurt either! And I really don’t wanna have to vote someone off!” Geoff said as he turned to see Chef rubbing grease onto the bottom of the toboggans.

“Just lubing them up. Get a little more speed going.” Chef said with a chuckle.

Cut to the four sitting on their toboggans.

“On your marks… get set… go!” Chris said as the two duos began their descent.

“Right! Right!” Gwen called out.

“Watch out for the tree!” Geoff yelled.

Gwen and Leshawna ended up going over a ramp somehow, “Girl, we are flying now!” Leshawna said.

“Uh-oh!” Gwen yelled as they landed in a river which was heading towards a waterfall, “I’m not ready to die yet!”

“DJ, we really need you to steer, dude! Bunnie would want you to live!” Geoff said.

Suddenly, Duncan returned and called out, “DJ! Look who I found!” as he held up the rabbit he was leading earlier.

“DJ! Duncan found Bunnie!” Geoff said.

“Don’t tease me,man!” DJ said as he lifted his blindfold to see if it were true, “Bunnie! You came back! Alright, let’s do this!”

“Go, DJ! Go!” Geoff called out.

Just then, Gwen and Leshawna showed up next to them. And then Chris started setting off explosives.

“We had a few explosives left over, and I just hate to waste.” Chris said.

It was a close race, but Geoff and DJ managed to finish first as their teammates cheered.

DJ ran over and picked up the rabbit, and teared up while saying, “Thanks, Duncan. You’re the best.”

“Whatever man, it’s just a stupid rabbit.” he said.

Just then, Courtney walked over and said, “I can’t believe you found a new bunny for DJ. You’re a good guy.”

“What!? No I’m not.”

“You are. You’re actually… nice. Sometimes.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I saw you do it, Duncan.”

“Whatever, it wouldn’t leave me alone. Weird rabbit.”

Courtney crossed her arms and smirked.

“Okay fine, I did it. Are you happy now?” Duncan said, “Listen, don’t tell anybody, okay? I don’t want them to think I’m soft or anything.”

“You’re secret’s safe with me.”

—Confessional: Duncan—

“I’m not nice, okay? Just to set the record straight.”

“Hey, Courtney! G-glad to see you’re alright!” Sadie said as she ran over to her.

“Don’t talk to me.” Courtney said.

“R-right! Gotcha!”

“And the Bass are the winners of the toboggan race!” Chris said, “Unfortunately, I said that these were blind challenges. By taking off the blindfold for a moment, you broke the number one rule. Which makes the Gophers today’s big winners!”

The Gophers cheered.

Cut to the campfire ceremony, with the Gophers finally in the peanut gallery once again.

“Who wants a treat?” began Chris, “A tasty goody that represents exemption, security, and peace of mind.”

“Ugh, just get on with it.” Courtney said.

“And if you don’t get a marshmallow you have to walk the Dock of Shame and you can never come back! Ever! Let’s see… one for Harold, one for Bridgette, one for Courtney!”

They all sighed in relief as they caught by their marshmallows.

“DJ, Geoff. Well done, my brothers.”

Duncan looked completely indifferent whereas Sadie looked very worried.

“Looks like we only have one left. Sadie and Duncan, the final marshmallow goes to…”

…

…

…

“Come on, already.” Courtney said.

“Don’t rush me! The audience loves this kind of dramatic conclusion!”

…

…

…

“Duncan.”

“Yeah, I saw that coming. Sorry for making you all hate me today.” Sadie said.

“What? We don’t hate you, dude.” Geoff said confused.

“Yeah, it wasn’t anything personal. Sorry about this.” DJ said.

“No, I messed up bad today. I’ll see you guys later. I guess.” Sadie replied.

“Take care, Sadie.” Bridgette said as Sadie walked off.

“The rest of you are safe. For now.” Chris said.

When the Boat of Losers arrived, Katie was waiting on it for her best friend. The duo both squealed at being reunited as the boat drove off.

—Voting: Harold—

“Duncan hasn’t let up on bullying me since the cooking challenge. I’m voting for him.”

—Voting: Bridgette—

“I know Duncan found an extra rabbit for DJ, but he’s still a jerk 90% of the time.”

—Voting: Courtney—

“When I say someone goes down, they go down.”

—Voting: DJ—

“Uhh… sorry, Sadie.”

—Voting: Geoff—

“Sorry dudette, I just don’t know you that well.”

—Voting: Duncan—

“Someone’s gotta go, Sadie.”

—Voting: Sadie—

“I think everyone hates me now. It’s totally gonna be me tonight. I’ll vote for Duncan. I guess.”

Chapter Text

Recap:
“Last time on Total Drama Island, the teams were given three challenges that tested their trust in their teammates. The rock-climbing challenge revealed more than just Heather’s grudge against Gwen, and Trent got the bad end of a blowfish, courtesy of Lindsay. DJ trusted Geoff with his pet Bunnie. Huge mistake, by the way. Some other campers got dropped on their butts, and Duncan shocked Courtney by showing her his softer side. Yeah, touching moments. Good times. In the end, Sadie’s constants failed attempts at bonding with her team got her sent home, finally ending the Gophers losing streak. Stay tuned for the most dramatic Campfire Ceremony yet, on Total Drama Island!”

-Then Song-

Open on Duncan carving a skull into the cabin wall, only for Harold to come out and ask, “Okay, who’s made s’mores out of my underwear!?”

Duncan laughed as Harold threw the chocolate covered underwear to the side, which happened to land right in front of Courtney, causing her to scream and say “Harold! You are so totally gross!”

“No, wait! It wasn’t me! Gah, idiot!” Harold said as he scowled at Duncan.

“He just makes it to easy.” Duncan said.

“I dunno, man. I think you’re pushing him a bit too far.” Geoff said.

“Ah, whatever. It’s not like there’s anything he can about it.”

“Listen up, you little cockroaches!” Chef said over the loudspeaker, “I want all campers to report to the Dock of Shame at 0’900 hours! That means now, soldiers, now!”

All the campers ran down to the dock and lined up in front of Chef, who was now wearing a drill sergeant outfit.

“Line up and stand at attention! You call this proper formation!? Feet together! Arms down! Eyes forward! Head up!” Chef yelled as he smacked everyone who wasn’t at a perfect stance with a stick.

“Oh, this is gonna be a fun day.” Gwen said sarcastically to Trent.

“What did you say to me soldier!?” Chef yelled through a megaphone.

“Umm… nothing?”

“And you will continue to say nothing until I tell you that you can say something! Today’s challenge will not be an easy one. In fact, I do not expect everyone to come out alive!”

Owen laughed before getting smacked with the stick.

“My orders are to make sure that all of the babies in front of me drop out of my boot camp except one! The last one standing wins immunity for their team!” Chef said.

“Uhh, what happened to Chris?” Heather asked.

“Rule number 1! You will address me as Master Chief! Have you got that!?”

“Yes, Master Chief!” all the campers said in unison.

“You will sleep when I tell you to sleep, and you will eat only when I tell you to eat! Is that clear!?” Chef asked.

“Yes, Master Chief!” Geoff said.

“Rule number 2! When you are ready to give up, you will walk to the end of the dock and ring the bell! Which brings me to rule number three! I’d like to get one quitter before the end of the first day. And that day will not end until someone drops out! Now get your butts down to the beach, soldiers! Now, now, now!” Chef said as everyone ran to the beach.

—Confessional: Gwen—

“Okay, whoever’s sick, twisted idea the was to put him in charge of this challenge, I have to say… I’m a little bit impressed.”

“Listen up! Each team must hold a canoe over their heads! I catch you taking your hand off of the canoe, and you will be eliminated. And nobody eats lunch until someone drops out. Canoes up!” Chef yelled.

“This isn’t that hard.” Owen said.

“Piece of cake!” Geoff added.

Cut to three hours later, where everyone was still holding up the canoe.

“C’mon, you sissies! It’s only been three hours!” Chef yelled.

“Looks like they missed lunch today.” Chris said.

“Mm-hm. Guess they just weren’t hungry! Unless someone wants to quit now!” Chef yelled as the camera panned to reveal Chris and Chef sitting on top of the canoes.

Owen’s stomach began to growl, prompting Gwen to say, “Don’t even think about it, Owen!”

Cut to Duncan reeling in a fishing rod that he attached to Harold’s underwear. He pulled back and tore his underwear.

“Ow! Idiot!” Harold yelled before he and Duncan quickly out their hands back onto the canoe.

“Is there a problem down here!?” Chef yelled.

“No….” Harold sighed.

Cut to that night, where Owen had fallen asleep holding the canoe.

“25 of us went into the jungle that night. Only five came back out.” Chef said as he regained war stories.

Gwen yawned and asked, “What war were you in, anyway?”

“Did I ask you to speak!? Because I don’t remember asking you to speak!”

“Whatever. He so wasn’t in a war.” Gwen mumbled under her breath.

“Guys? I can’t do this anymore.” Lindsay said as she let go of the canoe and walked towards the bell, “I have no more feeling in my arms.”

“Looks like we got ourselves a quitter!” Chef said.

Lindsay hit her head on the bell as everyone dropped their canoes and stretched their arms.

“Listen here. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” Chef said to Lindsay, “Except for being a little baby that let your team down! As for the rest of you, head to the mess hall! Dinner is served!”

“Sweet Marie, thank you!” yelled Owen.

Cut to the mess hall where Chef stood in front of trash cans, “Alright maggots, open your ears! You’ve got ten minutes to eat before night training begins, so get to it!” Everyone let of groans.

“Um, excuse me, Master Chief? Where’s the food?” Gwen asked.

“You’re looking at it.” Chef said as he lifted a trash can lid.

“This is the leftover garbage from this morning’s breakfast.” Owen said.

“Darn right! When you’re at war, you take what you can get!” Chef said.

“Well, I can see you’ve got this under control. I’m off to craft services. Coming?” Chris asked Chef.

“Serve me up some of that.” he replied.

“Oh, I am not eating this!” Heather yelled as the others began sifting through the trash.

“Ugh, me neither!” Courtney said.

“Don’t care for today’s specials, Princess?” Duncan asked.

“I am going to be running for office one day and nobody is going to pull up a file of me eating garbage!”

“Hey, Harold? I felt really bad about the whole underwear fishing incident thing, so here. I found you some juice.” Duncan said as he handed Harold a glass.

“Thanks!” Harold replied as he took a sip, only to spit it all out, “That’s not juice!”

“Oh, oh my mistake dude!” Duncan said while laughing, “I must’ve confused it for the kitchen grease!”

“You are so immature! I hope you’re proud of yourself!” Courtney said.

“Okay, look. I know you like me. He knows you like me, everyone knows it!” Duncan said, “So here’s a tip; if you wanna kiss me, I might let you.”

“And to think I actually thought you could be nice.”

“Psh, me? Nice?” Duncan said nervously, “Yeah right!”

“Why’d you think that?” Geoff asked.

“Nevermind, I was wrong. He’s just as gross and annoying as he wants you to believe. Enjoy your garbage!” Courtney said as she walked off.

Cut to back outside, where Chef was leading all the campers in the thriller dance because… uh….

Duncan stopped the music.

“Duncan, what are you doing!?” Courtney asked.

“One of us drops out, we’re done for the day.” Duncan said.

“We’re done when I say we’re done! Now drop and give me twenty! Anyone else got anything they want to say!?” Chef yelled.

“Uhh, yeah, can I go to the bathroom?” Gwen asked.

Cut to Gwen mopping the bathroom, “Not exactly what I had in mind.”

Cut to everyone in the mess hall, where Chef said, “For your next challenge, you will complete a 300 word essay about how much you love… me. Anyone who falls asleep or fails to complete the challenge will be eliminated!”

Cut to later, where Chef began to collect everyone’s essays and began reading Duncan’s, “I love Master Chief Hatchet, because he is very very very very very very very very… this is just one sentence with five pages of “very”s in between!”

“It’s 300 words exactly. You can count them if you want.” Duncan replied.

Chef walked past Owen and slipped on his drool, “Wipe up that drool, you little baby!”

He then slammed his fist next to a sleeping Trent, and said, “You three slackers are out!” referring to Trent, as well as DJ and Bridgette, who had also fallen asleep.

“The rest of you, get to bed and report to the playing field at 0’500 hours!” Chef yelled.

“Uh, missed a spot there, general.” Duncan said sarcastically.

“Boy! Do you want to run fifty laps around this campground right now!?”

“No thanks! He’s going straight to bed! Aren’t you!?” Courtney said as she tuned to Duncan, “What are you trying to do!? Get eliminated!?”

“I didn’t know you cared.” he replied.

“I don’t! I just don’t wanna lose this challenge! So stop being such a screw-up and do what you’re told for once, okay!?” Courtney said as she stormed off.

“She wants me.” Duncan said to Geoff.

“No doubt.” he said as he fist bumped him.

Cut to the right remains campers at an obstacle course, where Chef said, “You will all run this course until you can all complete it in under one minute. Am I making myself clear!?”

“Crystal.” said Duncan.

“If you lose this for us, I’m gonna make you so miserable!” Courtney said.

“Go, maggots, go!” Chef yelled.

Some campers wound up being more successful than others. Harold fell off a wall and ended up swallowing too much mud and spewing it out.

“Uh, General Crazy? We’ve got a situation here.” Duncan said.

“Too… much… mud….” Harold said.

“Ring the bell and report to the infirmary. Your tour of duty is finished.” Chef said.

“Wow, poor guy.” Duncan said sarcastically.

“Back on the course soldiers, now!” Chef yelled.

Some campers still has more success than other, with Leshawna getting stuck in mud and having to drop out. Duncan passed by her and said, “Fallen soldier, I salute you!”

“You just bought yourself twenty more push-ups!” Chef said.

“Thank you! Mwah!” Duncan said as he kissed Chef on the nose, causing Chef to yell in rage.

“I think you may have pushed him over the edge, bro.” Geoff said.

“I think you’re right.” Duncan said.

“One night solitary confinement in the boat house.” Chef said menacingly, chasing everyone to gasp.

“Big deal, how scary can it be?” Duncan asked.

Cut to Duncan in the boat house, where he looked around nervously at all the sharp objects, “…should’ve kept my big mouth shut….”

Cut to the other campers eating their breakfast, where Courtney said, “I’m gonna go check on him.”

“You like him.” Geoff said.

“I do not like him!”

“Yes you do.”

“Not only do I not like him, I can’t stand him! He’s rude, he’s rebellious, and he’s totally annoying! …I’m gonna go check on him.”

—Confessional: Geoff—

“She likes him.”

Cut to Courtney peeking inside the boat house, “Hello? Duncan?”

“Princess!” he replied.

“I wish you’d stop calling me that.”

“So, come to claim that kiss?”

“Even pigs deserve a meal.” she handed a bowl of gruel.

“Mmm… no thanks, I’ll stick with the bait.”

“Yeah, well, that’s all Chef would serve us after our pathetic performance in the Obstacle Course. Why do you egg Chef on like that? You know you’re going to get in trouble.”

“Why are you so uptight all the time?”

“I am not uptight!”

“Tch, you always follow the rules!”

“Well, you always have to break them!”

“Only the ones I want to.”

“Okay, so, maybe I do follow the rules. I guess that makes me a big, uptight loser in your books, right?”

“Maybe.”

“Ugh!”

“So then, why do you follow them?”

“Because not following them gets you thrown into a fish cabin!”

“But I’m in a the fish cabin with you, aren’t I?”

Courtney smiled.

“Feel like ditching this crap for some peanut butter and jam?” Duncan asked.

“Ha! Are you kidding? All I’ve had for two days is this gruel. But Chef would never give it to us.” she replied.

“See, now that’s the problem with your thinking! The trick is to not ask for it.”

“Do you have some on you?”

“No, but I happen to know where to find it. It will involve breaking quite a few rules, though. Are you in?”

Courtney thought for a moment, “Let’s do it!”

“Well, alright, then.”

Cut to Duncan and Courtney hiding in bushes and sneaking up to the Craft Services tent.

“Slowly… slowly… crawl….” Duncan said as he and Courtney slipped past the table.

“I mean, come on. I am nothing without my stubble.” Chris said.

“Amen to that, brother!” Chef replied.

Neither of them noticed Duncan and Courtney stealing from the fridge as Courtney placed a fish into the fridge, “A little present courtesy of the Killer Bass.”

The duo ran back to the cabins, where all twelve remaining campers were enjoying their food.

“I think I have jungle rot from that obstacle course.” Owen said.

“Eww, Owen, we’re eating here!” Lindsay replied.

“What is with all those lame war stories!? He’s so demented!” Gwen said.

“Girl, these nails were not meant for combat training, y’know what I’m saying?” Leshawna said.

“Seriously, if I wanted to join the army, I would’ve.” Bridgette said.

“Guys! Gross!” Harold said he saw that Duncan had drawn a smiley face on his bed with peanut butter.

“See, now that’s a waste of good peanut butter!” Duncan said while laughing.

Courtney picked up the last brownie they had brought, causing Bridgette to say, “Okay, I think you’ve had enough.”

“Oh no, no, just one more!” she replied before scarfing it down and burping, “Oh… yeah, that one was a mistake.”

She ran outside and puked over the railing, causing everyone to laugh.

“So the princess has a dark side.” Duncan said as he walked out.

“Okay. That was so gross. But it was like, once I did something bad, I just wanted more!” Courtney replied.

“Well, you could always give me that kiss, that’d be pretty bad.”

“You’re still not my type.”

“Fine. Enjoy a peanut butter-less life.”

“Thanks. Enjoy prison.”

“I will.”

Courtney then grabbed Duncan’s face and kissed him before walking off.

“Nice, dude.” Geoff said as he walked out.

“Told ya she wanted me.” Duncan said.

Harold looked outside and gasped before scowling.

—Confessional: Harold—

“I don’t get it. He’s a complete bully, he’s always a jerk, and he hardly ever tries at anything, yet for some reason everything just goes his way and everyone else likes him! Why!?”

“Attention remaining boot camp recruits, the last part of your training begins at 0’700 hours. And if I catch the sucker who took my deserts, your butt is mine!” Chef said over the loud speakers.

Cut to Duncan, Courtney, Geoff, Gwen, Owen, and Heather hanging upside down from a tree as Chef walked by and said, “What you are now experiencing is an ancient form of torture. By now, the blood has begun rushing to your head, the next stage is nausea, followed by dizziness and flushed appearance. As the blood begins to move in your eyes, you may experience fainting spells.” at hearing all this, Duncan fell.

“Duncan!” Courtney yelled worriedly.

“It’s okay, he’s alright!” Bridgette said.

Courtney, Geoff, and Gwen grabbed the branch with their hands as well for better support. Owen tried to do the same, but couldn’t reach.

“Okay, that’s it, I’m done.” Heather said ad she dropped down, only for Owen to fall on top of her ad the both yelled in pain.

“Get off of me, you big ox!” Heather said.

“Sorry.” said Owen.

Courtney laughed at seeing this.

“Stop laughing this instant!” Chef said.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it!” she said as she fell.

“I expected more out of you, soldier.”

“Ahem, Master Chief? I just have one thing to say to you.”

“And what might that be?”

“You really need to take a chill pill.” Courtney said as she walked off laughing, while everyone else was shocked.

“Yeah, now that’s what I’m talking about!” Duncan said.

“Okay, Geoff, it’s all up to you!” Courtney said.

“You got this, Gwen?” Owen asked.

“Oh yeah. I can hang here all day.” Gwen replied.

“Rock on, sister! I live for the head rush! It feels… so… good….” Geoff said as he fell.

“Ooh, that’s going to leave a mark.” Courtney said.

All the Gophers lifted up Gwen and cheered for her.

“Gwen!” Chef said saluting, “Congratulations soldier. I’d go to war with you anytime.”

“I’ll, uh, keep that in mind while choosing my career.” Gwen responded.

“You do that, soldier! You do that!” Chef said as he let out a tear of joy, proud that someone managed to make it all the way through his boot camp.

Cut to the Campfire Ceremony, where the six Bass waited in anticipation.

“I only have five marshmallow on my plate.” Chris began, “And these marshmallows represent the campers that will continue to be campers here. You’ve all cast your ballots in the confessional. If I do not call your name, you must immediately go down to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and go home. And you can’t come back. Ever. The following campers are safe. Courtney.”

“Yes!” she said as she caught her marshmallow.

“DJ.”

“Bridgette.”

“Geoff.”

Harold looked nervous while Duncan just raised his eyebrow.

“Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the night. And it goes to…”

…

…

…

…

…

“Harold.”

“What!?” Duncan yelled as everyone except Harold and Bridgette looked shocked.

“Yes, yes, it’s always a shock.” Chris said.

“Tch, whatever. Catch you losers later.” Duncan said as he walked to the Boat of Losers.

“I cannot believe this!” Courtney yelled.

Duncan boarded the boat, looking incredibly ticked off.

“Duncan, wait!” Courtney yelled as she ran over to say goodbye to him, making him smile a bit. 

“Courtney! I made this for you!” he yelled as he tossed her a wood carving of a skull.

“Duncan!” she yelled as she caught it, “Okay this is really weird and creepy, but I love it! I’ll never forget you!”

Cut to Harold alone by the fire with a flaming marshmallow. A montage of Duncan’s torment towards him played.

—Confessional: Harold—

Harold pulled out a pocket knife and pried open the voting box, removing all the votes and replacing them all with votes for Duncan, “You think you’re so funny. Let’s see how you like when someone ends your game.”

“Yes.” Harold said as he smiled towards the camera.

—Voting: Courtney—

“Sorry, Harold. You’re not all that useful to the team anymore.”

—Voting: DJ—

“I just know you the least, I guess. Sorry, Harold.”

—Voting: Bridgette—

“Look, I’m happy for Courtney and all, but Duncan’s still just a jerk.”

—Voting: Geoff—

“I can’t split up Duncan and Courtney, DJ’s my bro, and I really like Bridgette. Sorry, Harold.”

—Voting: Harold—

“Duncan’s torment of me ends tonight.”

—Voting: Duncan—

“See ya, dweeb.”

Chapter Text

Recap:

“Last time on Total Drama Island, the twelve surviving campers were put through Master Chief Hatchet’s brutal boot camp. Duncan was sent to the brig by major harshness for disorderly conducts. Shocker. But what was a surprise was when by the book Courtney smuggled food to POW Duncan. The two proceeded to pull a B&E to steal some PB&J, and ended up K-I-S-S-I-N-G. The Bass smelt something fishy when Duncan was mysteriously voted off. Confession Cams showed it was Harold who tampered with the votes to get back at Duncan for all of the torture he put him through. Which seems a bit unfair, I mean, hello, he’s a bully! That’s what they do! Birds gotta fly, fishes gotta swim, dude. Let a player play. This week, the campers are pushed to the extreme! Who will crack under the pressure? Find out right now, on Total Drama Island!”

-Theme Song-

Open on a bear finding where the marshmallows are kept and stealing as many as possible. The eleven remaining campers were sleeping until Chris flew overhead in a plane, waking them all up as they went outside.

“Incoming!” yelled Chris as he drove the plane directly at the campers.

“Hit the deck!” Geoff yelled as everyone jumped out of the way.

“Yes! I can’t wait to get my pilot’s license!” Chris said before crashing straight into an outhouse and stopping the plane.

He then got out his megaphone and yelled to the campers, “Just testing your muscles for today’s EXTREME SPORTS CHALLENGE!”

“Ugh, it’s too early for this.” Gwen said.

“Today you’ll be participating in three challenges. First up, extreme sofa bed skydiving! Contestants will plummet-uh, I mean, skydive to a waiting sofa bed target below.” Chris said.

Chef demonstrated this, only for the sofa bed to fold in on him as everyone winced.

“Of course, you’ll be skydiving from 5,000 feet! And using these!” Chris said as he tossed out some ratty looking parachutes, “Our lucky contestants are… Trent and DJ!”

“Sure, why not? You know what they say on Blackcomb Mountain, bro; the best glimpse of heaven’s on the way into hell. Let’s do this.” Trent told DJ.

“Yeah… uh… sure… bring it on….” DJ said nervously.

“Not so fast!” Chris said, “Because the second challenge of today is… extreme rodeo moose riding! Contestants will rodeo ride the great Canadian bucking moose fro eight seconds, or get hoofed into a giant pile of dirty socks from the lost and found.”

“That stink pile ain’t nothing but laundry day back home.” Leshawna said.

“It’s your lucky day, Leshawna. You’re riding for Gophers, and Geoff, you’ll ride for Bass.” Chris added.

“Yeah!” shouted Geoff.

“He doesn’t look too bucky to me. Hi, beautiful!”Owen said while looking at the moose, only for it to kick him.

“And the final challenge is… extreme seadoo water skiing! Contestants will waterski a race course, grabbing as many flags as they can before crossing the finish line, while a member from the opposing team drives the seadoo.” Chris said.

“How can we waterski without water!?” Heather asked.

“It’s really hard, check it out!” Chris said as the camera panned to Chef attempting to, only to crash into a tree immediately.

“Awesome!” Chris said while laughing, “Harold, you’ll ski for Killer Bass…”

“Sweet!” Harold yelled.

“…and Lindsay for the Screaming Gophers.” 

“Sweet! I can model my new bikini!” Lindsay said as she posed.

“Heather, you’ll be driving for Gophers, and Courtney, you’ll be driving for Bass. Owen, Gwen, Bridgette, you guys don’t have anything to do today, so… have fun.” Chris said, “And now for the cool swag. Whoever wins the most challenges scores bragging points for the night, saves their butts from elimination, and wins a tricked-out, multi-massage, mobile shower!”

Everyone gasped as seeing it, while Chef played a harp.

“Can it be?” Heather asked.

“Oh, it be.” Chris said.

“Aw, a shower!? How about something good?” Owen said while eating marshmallows.

“Listen to me, you marshmallow eating freak! We are going to win that shower if it’s the last thing we do, got it!?” Heather said, causing Owen to flinch in fear and choke on a marshmallow. Harold slapped his back to get it out, causing Owen to spit it at Heather.

“Okay, gang, chow for brekky, then meet back for the EXTREME SPORTS CHALLENGE!” Chris said as he got back in his plane.

Cut to the mess hall, where Owen poured an entire plate of gruel down his throat, failing to notice a letter on top of it, which he then burped up, before saying to Chef, “Sweet grub, bro!”

“For the girl with smoldering eyes…?” Chef read from the letter before tossing it on the table, which Bridgette and Gwen promptly picked up.

“Check it out, it’s a corny haiku.” Gwen said.

“Woah, someone’s crushing big time.” Bridgette said, “It’s probably for you.”

“Really? I was gonna say it was for you.”

“But Trent’s totally crushing on you! I’ve seen how he always scams an extra muffin for you.”

“Yeah, but Geoff is so into you! Remember at the dock yesterday how he tried to get your attention?”

Flashback to Geoff winking to Bridgette as he prepared to knee board, only for Trent to accidentally set the jet ski in reverse and knock Geoff into the water. The two girls laughed.

“Then again, Geoff probably couldn’t pronounce haiku, let alone write one.” Gwen said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bridgette asked.

“Nothing, he’s just not exactly the scholarly type.”

“Oh, and I suppose Trent is busy boning up on his Nietzsche in his spare time?”

“I think Trent is more Nietzsche than Geoff is haiku-y.”

“Haiku-y? Well, at least Geoff isn’t a poser. Trent probably doesn’t even write his own songs.”

The two began fighting over the letter, and accidentally tore it in half.

“Tell you what, Bridgette!? I’ll bet you two night’s desert that the poem was for me!” Gwen said.

“Oh, I’m up for that! Down with that! Whatever, you’re on!” Bridgette said.

Cut back to Chris and the plane, where everyone was waiting on standby with the couch.

“Now, remember!” Chris began, “Ground teams can wheelie the sofa beds wherever they want in order to help their comrades with the landing.”

“Sayonara, Trent.” Heather said while drawing a chalk outline onto the ground, “I hope your attempts to impress weird goth girl are worth the chalk outline.”

“Uh, did you think maybe Trent’s doing this as a form of self expression? Like haiku?” Gwen said.

“…I’m doing this for the challenge.” Trent said while everyone looked at Gwen confused.

—Confessional: Gwen—

“Okay, so it wasn’t my most subtle sleuthing moment.”

Cut to the plane in the air as Trent and DJ prepared for their jump, when Chris held up a contract and said, “If you can just fill these out!”

“But we already signed insurance forms at the beginning of the show!” DJ replied.

“Yeah, but these are for organ donation! I have this cool cannibal challenge I wanna pitch to the producers, and this’ll go a long way toward budgeting free props! Here comes the drop, boys!”

—Confessional: Chris—

“Okay, not really. I just really like psyching out the contestants.”

“I don’t see the drop zone!” Trent said,

Meanwhile, Leshawna, Lindsay, Gwen, and Heather were struggling to push the couch.

“Why is this thing so heavy!?” Leshawna asked. The group looked over and noticed that Owen had somehow fallen asleep on the sofa bed.

“Come on, you big tub of lard, move!” Heather said as they tried and failed to push him.

“Any other bright ideas?” Gwen asked.

They decide to just paint the X for the landing zone on Owen’s back.

“At least it’ll be a soft landing.” Gwen said.

Cut back to the plane, where Trent said, “Uhh… I don’t think I can do this, man!”

“Don’t worry, dude! I’m sure you’ll hit the mattress!” DJ said as he patted him on the back, which accidentally pushed him out of the plane.

Trent screamed the whole way down. Somehow, he never thought to open his parachute. He also missed the sofa completely.

“Trent? Are you okay?” Gwen asked.

Cut back to the plane, where DJ said, “Okay, pull the red cord first, then the blue. Red, then blue.” DJ said as he jumped. We pulled the wires, but nothing happened, so he started screaming.

Cut to the other four Bass pushing the couch, where Bridgette asked Geoff, “You know what’s really romantic?”

“Writing someone’s name in the snow with your pee?” he responded.

“Uhh… actually, I was thinking more of the written word.”

“Ohhh, you mean like a tattoo! I’ve got one on my butt, wanna see?”

He didn’t have time to show her though because the Bass heard DJ’s screams. Unbeknownst to him, his parachute had opened up, so in reality he was completely fine and landed on the sofa bed with no issue as his teammates cheered.

“Everything’s still here… nothing’s broken… phew!” DJ said. …only for the sofa bed to fold in on him. His teammates all just walked away while whistling.

“Gophers lose, Bass win! 1-0!” Chris said from his plane.

“Nice going, Trent.” Heather said as Trent was once again being pulled away on a stretcher.

“Trent, is there anything you wanna ask me before they take you to get… uh… reboned?” Gwen asked.

“Yeah. Is my hair messed up?” Trent asked.

Nobody had a response to that.

Cut to the campers at the second challenge, where Chris said, “Okay, cowpokes! Let’s start the rodeo moose challenge!”

“Rodeo riding’s kinda like surfing. Once you catch the lift, you just flow with the mojo.” Geoff said.

“Yeah, flow. Kinda like the ancient art of Japanese haiku.” Bridgette said.

“What’s a hicoug?” Geoff asked as he climbed onto the moose.

“What’d I tell ya?” Gwen said.

“Hey Bridge, wanna see my tattoo!” Geoff said he pulled down his pants.

“Definitely not haiku-y.” Bridgette said as Gwen looked away.

The challenge began right there and Geoff was flung off the moose with his pants down through the air.

“And Geoff’s…” Chris began as Geoff flew past him, “…out!?”

Geoff landed in the pile of socks.

“Ooh, that stinks big time for Bass!” Chris said with a clothespin on his nose.

Suddenly, the video froze as Chris’ voiceover said, “Wait a minute! Pause that! Let’s just rewind that shot and run it in super slow motion!”

It rewinded to the show where Geoff was flying over Chris as his voiceover said, “I’m embarrassed. This is so degrading, I mean look at me! Can we please just get a decent budget together for hair and makeup!? I look like I just fell out of bed. Yeesh.”

Cut back, where Chris said, “No, seriously, that is some rank stuff. Leshawna, let’s jet!”

Leshawna cracked her knuckles. The camera wasn’t focused on that, and was instead focusing on a squirrel slapping a bird.

“I hope you got a moose burger recipe handy!” Leshawna said as she got on the moose, “Heh, easy boy. You don’t wanna make me mad now.”

The moose got mad.

Cut to Bridgette and Gwen arguing.

“So!? Your guy’s a metro with a broken back!” Bridgette said.

“So!? Your guy’s a grammatically challenged surfer fling!” Gwen said.

Meanwhile, Leshawna continued to ride the moose in the background.

“Okay, so it wasn’t Trent or Geoff.” Gwen said.

“Yeah, plus we kinda just assumed it was for us….” Bridgette replied. The two hugged.

“Well, whoever it is, we’re gonna find out. Deal?” Bridgette said.

“Yeah, not like we’ve got anything better to do today.”

Cut back to the bear from the start of the episode, now with every more marshmallow and a napkin wrapped around his neck. …only for the moose to trample them all, much to the bear’s sadness.

Cut to Chris on the ATV after Leshawna got off the moose, “So, we have a tie! Whoever wins the extreme seadoo water ski challenge wins invincibility!” Chris said.

“I’m ready!” Lindsay said as she walked out in a fashionable bikini and sunglasses.

“We are so dead.” Heather said.

—Confessional: Harold—

“This is it. We’re tied for the win. Pushy C.I.T. Courtney is driving Lindsay. I’m skiing for the Bass! Winning is inevitable. Good bye wedgies, wet willies, and toilet face plunges. Hello, stardom!” Harold put on a pair of shades.

Cut to Gwen and Bridgette talking outside of the confessional, where Gwen said, “Okay, so haikuist candidates are Harold, DJ, or Owen.”

“Well, Harold is….” Bridgette said.

Just then, Harold walked out of the confessional without realizing his pants were still at his ankles, said “Ladies.” and then tripped.

“Yeah… I’ll take Owen, you take DJ.” Gwen said.

Cut to Harold in his speedo on the skis.

“You are so out of your league, alpha geek.” Heather said.

“Here’s the road rules; oh wait, there are no rules! Which means this is gonna be awesome!” Chris said.

Cut to Bridgette walking up to DJ and asking, “So, read any good poems lately?”

“So, asked any arbitrary, way out of left field questions lately?” DJ asked in response.

Bridgette sighed and shook her head while Gwen rolled her eyes.

“And go!” Chris yelled as Heather took off. Harold fell off the skis and was holding on by the cord only, but being closer to the ground allowed him to easier grab the flags. He managed to get five flags in total. Heather gasped as she neared the end of the course.

—Confessional: Heather—

“I couldn’t let that little dorkwad win, so I decided to cut him loose.”

Heather turned around and pulled out a pocketknife to attempt to the cut rote holding Harold, “Game over, guppy!”

“Victory is… huh?” Harold said.

As Heather attempted to cut the rope, her top got caught on a tree branch and ripped off. Heather screamed and tried to cover her breasts with her arms. Harold naturally lost his concentration at the sight and hit a rock. The jet ski also ended up hitting a rock and sending Heather flying. She landed on the bear and made him drop his marshmallows.

Cut to Chris driving through the mud, saying, “I don’t know what Heather did to make Harold lose his concentration, but it’s a total wipeout for the Bass team!”

Harold, still in the mud, had only one word to say, “Boobies.”

The other four Bass were disappointed.

Cut to Gwen walking up to Owen and asking, “So, if we win, is there a someone special you’ll be showering for?”

“Maybe if Izzy was still here. Then again, why would I need to shower? We’re in the wild!” Owen said before burping.

Gwen very nearly puked.

—Confessional: Courtney—

“Okay, so Harold totally blew it, but there’s no way Lindsay will be able to grab any flags. Chris will have to make a tiebreaker, we can still win this!”

Cut to Lindsay on the skis while Courtney was on the jet ski. They began their run, and, shocking absolutely everyone, it turns out Lindsay was a natural at waterskiing, grabbed every flag with ease and did multiple tricks. Courtney tried to drive as fast as possible to throw off Lindsay’s game, but eventually hit a rock and got sent flying a tree. Even without a driver, Lindsay easily glided into the finish.

“She won…?” Chris said in shock, “…Gophers win!”

“Sorry about that Courtney, I just really wanted that shower!” Lindsay yelled.

“Ugh… whatever….” Courtney said from the tree.

—Confessional: Lindsay—

“I actually go waterskiing all the time! It’s super fun!”

“Really could’ve used that shower….” Geoff said.

“Right you are, my skunky friend.” DJ replied.

—Confessional: Geoff—

“So, I landed in a pile of socks. Big deal. I can’t smell that bad, can I?” just then, all the flies in the confessional dropped dead.

“The Bass team went belly up, and will now decide which fishy to flush, while the Gophers totally scored some much needed showers.” Chris said.

“What’s up with chics and showers?” Owen asked Trent, who was still in a full body cast.

“Go take a shower, Owen.” he said.

Cut to Gwen and Bridgette talking at a table, where Gwen said, “So we’ve ruled out Owen and DJ.”

“I know, so who could it be?” Bridgette asked.

“Maybe one of the girls wrote it…?”

“Well neither of us wrote it, Lindsay was into Tyler, Courtney was into Duncan, Leshawna doesn’t seem like the type to write a haiku, and Heather? No way. So again, who could it be?”

“Who could what be?” Leshawna said as she walked by and looked at the note.

“Another note from your secret admirer, Leshawna?” Chris asked.

“Leshawna’s the crush girl!?” Bridgette and Gwen exclaimed.

“You two know someone else here with a booty as luscious as an apple?” she replied.

“But who wrote it?” asked Gwen.

Cut to the Campfire Ceremony, where as usual, Chris said, “As you know, if you don’t receive a marshmallow, you will be forced to walk the Dock of Shame, and you can never ever return to camp. The first marshmallows go to Bridgette and DJ.”

The duo signed in relief.

“Geoff, you’re safe too!” Chris yelled as he tossed the marshmallow to the tree Geoff was forced to sit in to avoid anyone smelling him.

“Muchos luchos, compadre!” he yelled back.

“Okay, that leaves Harold, who bailed big for reasons unknown…” Chris began.

—Confessional: Harold—

“Boobies.”

“…and Courtney, who bailed even bigger because Lindsay left her circling the drain.” Chris said, “The final marshmallow goes to…”

…

…

…

…

…

“Courtney.”

She sighed in relief as she caught her marshmallow.

“Harold, sorry dude. You’re done like dinner.” Chris said.

“Well, it’s been fun, guys.” Harold said as he high fived everyone, not all too surprised by the turn of events, but not all too upset, either.

Everyone is watched as he walked the Dock of Shame. Before getting on the Boat of Losers, he turned around and said, “Farewell, Total Drama Island! I loved, I lost, and I saw boobies. What more can a man ask for?”

“You loved?” Gwen asked.

“You’re a man?” Leshawna asked.

“You saw boobies!?” Bridgette asked.

“Leshawna, I meant every word of that poem!” Harold yelled out.

“Poem!? That was you!?” Leshawna said as she ran over to him.

“No way.” Bridgette said.

Leshawna and Harold hugged and Leshawna kissed him while the others were very happy. Harold got back on the boat and it took off.

—Confessional: Chef—

“Leshawna and Harold? I’m was as shocked as you. But you didn’t read the letters. Spicy.” he laughed.

“Wait a sec, so Harold saw your boobies?” Geoff asked Leshawna.

“Can we see?” Owen shamelessly asked.

“Heck no!” Leshawna responded, before realizing Harold had never seen her chest, “Wait a minute. Who’s boobies did you see!?”

Just then, Heather walked out of the shower in a towel and it finally occurred to everyone how Harold lost his concentration so quickly.

“Oh no, oh no no no no no, oh see now, you messed with the wrong sister!” Leshawna said.

“Oh please, it was a total fluke. You think I’d actual show that dweeb my boobs on purpose?” Heather asked.

Leshawna did not care and began chasing Heather while she screamed.

“Well, that’s settled.” Gwen said. “Night.”

“Night.” Bridgette responded.

—Voting: DJ—

“Harold lost the challenge. Guess it’s his turn.”

—Voting: Bridgette—

“Sorry, Harold. Someone’s gotta go.”

—Voting: Geoff—

“No hard feelings, dude.”

—Voting: Courtney—

“I thought he’d be gone last time.”

—Voting: Harold—

“I feel kinda voting for Courtney after what I did to Duncan, but I have to vote for someone.”

Chapter Text

Recap:

“Last time on Total Drama Island, a note from a secret admirer got Gwen and Bridgette at each other’s throats. DJ accidentally knocked Trent off an airplane, sending him deep into the earth’s crust. Leshawna showed everybody how to hang on for dear life on the moose ride. Harold showed himself to be an ace flag catcher, until he caught of Heather’s… unmentionables, causing him to crash his way right off the Island, but not before admitting his love towards the fair Leshawna. And now, let’s see what’s in store for the final ten campers on this week’s episode of Total Drama Island!”

-Theme Song-

Open on the ten campers walking into the main lodge as Chris and Chef stood by the door.

“What? No breakfast?” Owen asked.

“Oh, don’t worry, bro. There will be plenty of food later on.” Chris said as he and Chef chuckled.

“What are you two bozos so giggly about?” Leshawna asked. Chris and Chef just continued to laugh.

Once everyone got inside, Chris said “Congratulations to the remaining ten campers for reaching the halfway mark in the competition! Next week, the two teams will be merged! All the girls are going to take up residence in the Gopher cabin, while all the guys are moving to the Bass cabin. To prep you all for the merge, you’ll all be working on your own for today’s challenge. Once you’re all settled into the cabins, I’ll announce what it’ll be. And then you’ll all get a bite to eat.” Chris and Chef laughed.

“Oh, and don’t worry, everyone. Today, nobody will be kicked off.” Chris said as everyone cheered, “This is all for reward, and it’s a good one. Okay, time to relocate, let’s move!”

Cut to the all the Campers walking towards the cabins, “Wow, your hair looks great today. So natural.” Heather said to Bridgette.

“Thanks, I-“ she responded before getting cut off.

“How do you take care of it? You have to share your secret.”

“Oh, it’s nothing really.”

“Watch it with her. She’s trouble.” Gwen said.

Cut to Bridgette and Courtney getting their bags from their original cabins, as Geoff opened the door to talk to Bridgette.

“It was like, real cool workin’ with you, y’know? Together as a team.” Geoff said.

“Yeah, I’m glad we got to know each other on a deep level and all.” Bridgette responded.

“Yeah, me too! Because I-“ Geoff said before he and Bridgette kept awkwardly talking over each other.

“Okay, this is very sweet, but you guys are blocking the door.” Courtney said.

“Oh! Sorry, dude.” Geoff said as he got out of the way.

Cut to Courtney and Bridgette making their way to the girls cabin while Courtney said, “Okay, we hardly know any of the others in there. But we do know each other. So I say that even though we’re not technically on the same team, we still have each other’s backs, okay?”

“Sure, don’t see why not.” Bridgette said as she and Courtney walked inside the cabin.

…and immediately they heard Leshawna yelling, “Nobody’s leaving until I find out who ate my pudding pockets!”

“I ate them, so what?” Heather said as Bridgette and Courtney just looked concerned.

“Woah, pump the breaks a minute! You’re ‘so what’ing me!? That’s my food! Nobody touches my food!”

“Whatever, deal with it! It serves you right for leaving your junk everywhere! Especially that!” Heather said as she pointed to one of Leshawna’s bras hanging off a bed, “That is bugging me!”

“Yeah, it’d bug me too if I didn’t have anything in the front or in the back to shake!”

“Yeah? Well you’ve got so much junk in your trunk, your jeans should come with a trash compactor!”

“Ooh, you want a piece of this!?”

“Uh-oh.” Bridgette said. It was only at that moment that Heather and Leshawna realized that she and Courtney were there.

“Bridgette! Courtney! It’s so good to see you!” Heather said, “Come in, come in! Welcome to our cabin! We’re like a big family in here!”

“Yeah, I’m not buying that. I’ve seen some of the stuff you’ve done, Heather.” Courtney said as she glared at her.

“Oh, shut it.” Heather said before turning to Bridgette, “Anything you need, just yell!”

“Uh, thanks for the welcome, Heather.” Bridgette said.

“Welcome to the club! It’ll be so much fun!” Lindsay said, “As long as you do everything Heather says!”

Heather stomped on Lindsay’s foot at that.

“Yeah, we love joking around here!” Heather said as she continued to try and manipulate Bridgette, “I made sure your bunk was next to mine-“

“Hey, that’s my bed!” Lindsay said as she once again got her foot stomped on.

“-so we can talk and share and really get to know each other!”

“Okay, yeah! Thanks everybody, I can’t wait to really get to know-“ Bridgette began.

“Okay, plenty of time to chat! Let’s unpack!” Heather said as she tried to distance Bridgette from Gwen and Leshawna as much as possible.

“Hey, are the top bunks taken?” Courtney asked Gwen.

“Hm? No. But if you’re taking a top bunk, take the one above me. Izzy slept in the bed above Lindsay’s, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near Heather, and Leshawna keeps bumping her head on the bunk above her.” Gwen told her.

“I’ll take your word for that.”

“This is great! I bet we’re getting along way better than the guys!” Lindsay said.

Meanwhile, DJ, Geoff, Owen, and Trent were all just laughing and drinking sodas while listening to music.

Owen burped. And then Geoff burped so loudly that it blew away the other three and somehow even knocked down some trees.

“Nice one.” Trent said, “If we were a team, he’d deserve to be captain.”

“Speech! Speech! Speech!” Owen yelled.

“I owe it all to my man Brody back home, for showing me how to pull back and let loose!” Geoff said.

Cut back to Heather showing a box of makeup to Bridgette and saying, “What’s mine is yours. Makeup, Nail Polish, Scrunchies, Earrings, just help yourself!”

Lindsay tried to grab a brush, but Heather slapped her hand away.

“Uh, thanks, Heather. But I like to keep it natural.” Bridgette replied

“Like my mother always says, a lady can always use a little boost in the looks department.” Heather said as she tried to forcefully apply makeup to Bridgette.

“And my momma told me that there’s nothing free in this world! Watch what you take from this girl, Bridgette. She’s a snake!” Leshawna said.

“Mind your own business!” Heather said.

“We’ve gotta live in the same cabin, so this is all of our business!” Leshawna said.

“Hey, hey, we should be using this time as an opportunity to get to know each other better!” Bridgette said.

“You wanna play that way!? Fine! Be on their side!” Heather said. She got a roll of duct tape and split the room in half, “This is my side, and that’s your side!“

—Confessional: Heather—

“Okay, I probably could’ve played that better. But Leshawna seriously creases me.”

“Yeah, that’s right. You keep putting down that tape. And if you cross it, I’ll smack you down!” Leshawna said.

Courtney, Leshawna, and Gwen stayed on the right, Lindsay and Heather stayed on the left, and Bridgette stood in the middle.

“You can choose the weird girls if you want, but just so you know, once you do, you’re not allowed on our side. Right Lindsay?” Heather said as Lindsay nodded.

—Confessional: Bridgette—

“Why is there so much tension here? I haven’t paid much attention to everything that happened with the other team, but I did see them fighting this much. Anyway, I told Courtney I’d stick with her, so if I have to pick anyone’s side, it’s probably the one she’s on.”

“Let’s build bridges, not walls!” Bridgette said.

“Take your pick.” Heather said.

Seeing no other option, Bridgette went over to Gwen, Leshawna, and Courtney’s side.

“You just dug your own grave.” Heather said.

“Let’s try to get along, okay?” Bridgette said, only for Heather to toss her bag to the other side of the cabin, “Tough room.”

“Don’t worry Bridgette, there’s more people on this side anyway. We can still stick together.” Courtney told her.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m just worried.”

Cut to everyone at the main lodge, where Chris said, “It’s time for todays challenge!”

“Uh, where’s breakfast at?” Leshawna asked. Chris and Chef laughed again.

“Stop doing that!” Heather yelled.

“Let’s just tell them. Today’s challenge is the Brunch of Disgustingness! You’ll be getting a nine-course meal. Each course is one round. The last person to finish their meal in each round won’t move onto the next round. The last person standing at the end wins the reward. You will not know if the next dish is grosser than the last, not as gross, or just as gross. Just that it will likely be gross.” Chris informed everyone.

“Tell them what they’ll get if they win, Chris!” Chef said.

“The winner gets to spend the next two days at a local five star resort, where they’ll be pampered, eat gourmet food, and be given antibiotics against anything they may have caught while participating in this challenge!” Chris said, “The other nine of you will just have to stay here with Chef.”

“I am so going to win this challenge!” Heather said.

—Confessional: Bridgette—

“I mean, I’ll try anything once. Except meat. I can’t eat meat.”

—Confessional: Courtney—

“I may not look it, by I have this win basically guaranteed. I have an iron stomach, I can eat anything.”

Cut to everyone sitting in front of the yet to be opened plates.

“Take a whiff, everyone! Because all I smell is a victory for me!” Leshawna said.

“I’ll eat anything! Even my gitch if I have to!” Owen said before turning to Chef and asking, “Will I have to?”

“Let’s begin the challenge! First, the appetizer!” Chris said as all the lids were removed from the plates, revealing meatballs of some sort.

“Alright, meatballs! Bring it on!” Owen said as he poured the entire plate into his mouth.

“Technically, you’re right, Owen. But these are kinda special.” Chris said.

“It’s beef testicles, bourguignon!” Chef said.

“Testicles?” Owen said and immediately puked.

“No rule against puking, Owen moves onto the next round.” Chris said.

Everyone else looked at the meal worriedly.

“I don’t know if I can do this to my bovine brethren.” Geoff said.

Trent sighed and begrudgingly ate one. DJ shed a tear.

“It’s the hardest thing a man can do.” Chris said.

—Confessional: Heather—

“Judging by the way the guys were reacting to the… uh… dish, I knew I’d be moving onto the next round.”

Heather ate one, followed by Leshawna, Courtney, and Lindsay.

“Okay, that’s so gross!” Lindsay said, “But I could totally use a pedicure at that resort. My corns are growing corns.”

“What’s the matter, can’t eat a little meatball?” Heather asked the other four.

“I can’t give up! My manhood is at stake!” Geoff said as he begrudgingly ate one, soon followed by Gwen.

“I’m a vegetarian, I can’t do this.” Bridgette said.

—Confessional: Geoff—

“I felt so bad, I had to help her.”

“It’s not that big a deal. Sometimes, they castrate bulls for… uh… medical reasons?” Geoff said an attempt to reassure Bridgette.

Bridgette sighed and ate one.

—Confessional: Bridgette—

“It was so sweet of him to help.”

“Well, looks like that ends this round. Sorry DJ, but you’re out.” Chris said.

“I probably couldn’t have stomached the rest of this anyway.” he said.

“Thanks for the talk, Geoff.” Bridgette told him.

“And now, the next course in the Brunch of Disgustingness… you guys like pizza?” Chris asked.

“I could eat pizza anytime, with anything on it!” Owen said.

“Anything?” Chris asked as Chef revealed the pizza, “How about live grasshopper pizza with tangy jellyfish sauce and live anchovies?”

“Eww, I hate anchovies!” Lindsay said.

Owen just shrugged and immediately ate the slice he was given.

“That is just straight up nasty.” Leshawna said, “I’m not eating that.”

“You’re gonna give up on the resort just because you can’t handle a few…” Heather began before noticing a grasshopper on her finger and screaming.

“I’m digesting a bull’s precious cahones, this is nothing.” Gwen said as she ate her slice. Courtney did the same without issue.

“Could I maybe get a little Parmesan on this?” Heather asked Chef, who shook his head. Heather reluctantly ate her slice.

—Confessional: Bridgette—

“Okay, sure, I’ve eaten tuna salad sandwiches, but I’ve never worked out on my position on eating live fish! But that resort sounded really nice….”

Bridgette reluctantly took a bite, followed by Leshawna.

Owen tried to reach for Geoff’s, but he slapped his hand away and took a bite while shuddering.

“There’s no way I’m eating that! It’s not even food!” Lindsay said.

—Confessional: Bridgette—

“I could’ve just left her hanging there, but I felt bad for her.”

“Lindsay! Lindsay! Let’s try a little yogic meditation. First, get into lotus position.” Bridgette said.

Lindsay meditated as Bridgette put the slice in her mouth.

“I’ve got a weak stomach, I can’t do this.” Trent said.

“Good for you, because that ends this round! You’re out, Trent!” Chris said as Trent ran outside to puke.

—Confessional: Chef—

“I was excited about the next dish. I made it from scratch.”

“Alright, who’s ready for the third course?” Chris said as as Chef lifted the trays, revealing worms and moss, “Spaghetti! Well, not really. It’s earth worms and snail slime.”

Geoff put on a blindfold and said, “I love spaghetti. Spaghetti is good. Okay.” he managed to take a bite, as did Owen. Lindsay did as well, but broke out of her meditation while doing so. Heather, Courtney, Gwen, and Leshawna all managed to get a bite in as well.

“And that’s the round! Sorry, Bridgette, no resort for you!” Chris said as Bridgette looked dejected.

“Alright, everybody! Time for course number four! No nine course meal would be complete without soup,” Chris said as Chef pulled back the lids, “Today’s special is French bunion soup with hangnail crackers.”

—Confessional: Geoff—

“I think they just used stuff from Chef’s bathroom floor.”

Heather managed to take a spoonful, and then forced one to Lindsay. Owen and Courtney hardly even flinched, and Geoff and Gwen reluctantly ate a spoonful.

“Sorry, Leshawna. You’re out.” Chris said.

“No resort is worth this garbage.” Leshawna said.

“Only five more courses left!” Chris said.

Cut to a montage showing more disgusting meals. A ball of chewed gum the Lindsay couldn’t take a bite of. A smoothie of skunk spray that Gwen couldn’t handle. A sandal with glue on it, which Heather couldn’t eat. And finally, a soup made of trash that Geoff couldn’t get through.

“Wow, we’re already down to the final course! Owen, Courtney, one of you gets to go to a resort tonight!” Chris said.

“Sorry, Owen. That resort trip is mine.” Courtney said.

“I’ll eat anything. Even a shower curtain!” Owen said.

Chris brought out a tray with a bunch of shot glasses on it, “Whoever drinks the most shot glasses of delicious, blended cockroach will be the winner! This unlikely yet satisfying blend of eight different cockroaches is vitamin rich for your balanced life style. On your marks, get set, go!”

Everyone watched as the two reluctantly kept taking shots of cockroaches. Eventually, only one was left on the plate. Owen, dazed, tried to reach for it, only for a completely neutral Courtney to grab it and drink without a second thought. “I have gained an immense respect for you.” Owen said before passed out.

“And Courtney wins! Seriously, do you even have taste buds!?” Chris asked.

“I have an iron stomach. I can eat anything. Now excuse me, because I’ve still eaten too much today and need to go puke all of this out.” Courtney said before running outside and doing just that. Everyone else began puking as well.

Cut to Courtney walking down the dock, not to board the Boat of Losers, but instead to board a yacht to the resort.

“Courtney’s the big winner today, but the other girls go their separate ways. Two definitive cliques have been cemented. For now.” Chris’ voiceover said as Gwen and Leshawna locked out Heather and Lindsay while Bridgette solemnly looked out the window, “What shocking surprises are in store for our campers as they head for the big merge? Tune in next time on Total Drama Island to find out!”

Chapter Text

Reacap:

“Last time on Total Drama Island, the Bass and Gopher teams were officially disbanded, leaving everyone to have to fend for themselves. To prep them for the merge, campers were forced to eat disgusting foods for a shot at going to a local five star resort. In the end, Courtney’s iron stomach barely beat out Owen’s obscene eating habits. While Courtney got to enjoy her weekend at a resort, the other girls set down territorial tape, forcing Bridgette to choose a side. Now that Heather’s drawn the line, will Leshawna cross the line? Can Bridgette mend the line before Gwen shreds the line? And can Lindsay recognize any line that’s not a tan line? For answers to all these questions and more, stay tuned for the most exciting episode yet, on Total Drama Island!”

-Theme Song-

Open with everyone sitting around near the dock. Lindsay was reading a magazine, and Heather and Leshawna were doing the same but were more focused on glaring at each other. Gwen was writing in her diary, Bridgette was polishing her surfboard, Geoff, Owen, and DJ were playing frisbee, and Trent was playing some music. A fly flew near Heather, and Lindsay tried to smack it with her magazine, only to smack Heather instead.

“Oops.” Lindsay said.

“Lindsay, you are a total-“ Heather said, only to be interrupted by a boat horn.

The yacht pulled up as Courtney stepped off while eating a tray of bonbons, “Well that was delightful! Anyone want one?” Courtney said as she held up her plate, but Heather threw her shoe at it and knocked it into the water before anyone could grab one.

“Right, you people.” Courtney said with an eye roll.

“Listen up campers, as of right now, all teams are officially dissolved! From here on in, it’s every camper for themselves!” Chris said over the loud speakers.

“About time. Bring it on, Chris!” Leshawna said.

“Then… get ready for this!” Chris said. Everyone looked over to the dock and saw another boat approaching. Everyone gasped when they saw who was on it.

“You’re fronting me.” Leshawna said in shock.

“What!? But that’s impossible!” Heather said.

“Aww man, what is she doing here!?” Trent asked.

“Back by popular audience demand, it’s Eva!” Chris said as Eva scowled at everyone from the boat.

“That’s right, I’m back. And just so we’re clear, not only am I gonna win, but I’m giving special attention to my backstabbing Bass team who voted me off!” Eva said as she stepped onto the dock.

“Wait a sec, you said nobody is allowed back!” Gwen said.

“I did?” Chris asked.

“To quote you, ‘And once you leave on the Dock of Shame, in the Boat of Losers, you can never, never ever ever come back. Ever.’”

“Oh, yeah, that. Yeah, I lied.”

“You can’t do that, it’s not fair!”

“Woah, girl, you’re reasoning with a loud speaker. That just does not look good.” Leshawna said.

Bridgette and Courtney both heard Eva breathing angrily behind them.

“So, uh, Eva. What’ve you been doing since you left the Island?” Courtney asked nervously.

“Taking anger management classes. I seem to remember you two thinking I needed them!” she replied.

“She was an audience favorite?” Heather asked in shock.

“Not really. But we liked her. Also, she’s not alone. Izzy’s back too!” Chris said.

Everyone let out a collective, “Oh no!”, except for Owen, who said “Oh yes!”

Cut to Izzy swinging in on a vine, “Hey guys! It’s good to be back at camp! Even though I never actually left the island! I’ve been living in the woods this whole time!”

“But I thought the RCMP hunted you down?” Gwen asked.

“They tried, but being a wilderness survivor, I was swift-footed and avoided capture!” Izzy said before biting the head off of a fish, “Once I was safe among my animal brethren, it was just me against the harsh elements!”

“You call this harsh?” Leshawna asked, “It’s been warm and sunny all week.”

“Not where I was! But luckily, I was able to take refuge in the beaver dam! Yeah, I befriended the family of beavers who lived there, and together we forged for nuts and berries! Boy, I could use a bag of nachos right now!” Izzy replied before howling and asking, “So, what’s new with you guys?”

“Alrighty, campers, report to the amphitheater, were you’ll learn all about today’s challenge! McLean out!” Chris said.

“Woohoo! Another challenge! Partay!” Owen said, “Give me ten!”

“It’s every camper for themselves, idiot.” Eva replied, “Oh, and Noah wanted you to know that he’s recovered from his injuries.”

“Well, that’s good at least.” Owen said before walking off.

Cut to Eva walking into the Bass cabin and asking, “What’s with the tape!? Somebody better answer me!”

“Me and Heather here got a little… territorial.” Leshawna answered, “But we’re all cool now, right Heather?”

“Absolutely!” Heather said.

“I want this bunk.” Eva said as she threw Bridgette’s surfboard to the ground, “Unless Miss Backstabbing Traitor who voted me off has a problem with that!”

“Okay, y’know what? You can get all up in her face, but don’t forget that we’re all here to win!” Leshawna said.

“Yeah, c’mon, Eva! You can the bunk under mine!” Izzy said as she jumped to the top on the last remaining bunk bed.

“Ugh, fine.” Eva said, “I’m still gonna win!”

“Hey, thanks for stepping in.” Bridgette said.

“Oh, my pleasure. That girl bothers the heck out of me.” Leshawna said.

—Confessional: Leshawna—

“That girl is getting on my last nerve.”

Cut to the twelve campers sitting in rows of booths in the amphitheater. Trent, DJ, Courtney, Owen, and Geoff were in the top row, Gwen, Leshawna, Heather, and Bridgette were in the middle, and Izzy, Lindsay, and Eva were at the bottom.

“Welcome to your next challenge! The time honored game of torture, say uncle! You are all about to be put through tests of endurance so insane, that some of them put out interns in the emergency room! If you back down from the challenge or do not last the required ten seconds, you’ll be eliminated. The winner will not only gain solo immunity tonight, but will also win this luxurious trailer, yours to take home at the end of the season.” Chris said as the camera panned to a very nice trailer.

“What kinda of torture?” Leshawna asked.

“Why don’t you ask by lovely assistant?” Chris asked as the camera panned to Chef in a hockey mask and holding a cleaver, “Alright, let’s do this! Courtney, since you won last challenge, you’re up first! Let’s spin the wheel of misfortune to select your torture!”

Chris spun the wheel, and it landed on a picture of a snapping turtle, “Turtle Puckshots! Our interns spent weeks collecting the grumpiest, angriest, crustiest, hungriest, old snapping turtles on the island. While you stand in the goalie net completely unprotected, Chef will fire off turtle slap shots. Last for ten seconds, and you’re onto the next round.

Courtney nervously stood in front of the goal as Chef beg and to fire turtles. She managed to dodge a few, but got hit by quite a lot. Even so, she lasted the ten seconds and moved onto the second round.

“Isn’t this fun?” Chris said.

“Yeah, it’s a real riot.” Courtney said as she got back to her seat.

“Woah, that was harsh.” Trent said as he leaned down to Gwen.

“Don’t talk to me.” she replied.

“Are you still mad about the whole burying you alive thing?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“I’ll never forgive myself for that one! Y’know, you’re totally the last person here I’d leave buried in the sand if I had a choice!”

“Really? That’s… kind of sweet, I guess.” Gwen and Trent smiled.

“Next up, Lindsay!” Chris said, “Your torture is…”

The wheel landed on a flaming marshmallow, “Marshmallow waxing! We’re gonna wax your whole body! If you can take the pain for a whole ten seconds, you’re onto the next level!”

“Oh, I need this! I’ve been dealing with nasty razor stubble for weeks. Try not to wax off my tan, ‘kay?” Lindsay said as she got into the waxing chair.

As the melted marshmallows were thrown onto her, Lindsay let out muffled screams.

“Ow!” she yelled after it got pulled off.

“Ouch, that had to hurt.” Trent said, “Not sure I would’ve made it through that one.”

“That’s because guys are total wimps when it comes to two things; beauty and pain.” Gwen replied.

“You got that right.”

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe how smooth that is! Thanks, Chip!” Lindsay said to Chris.

“It’s still Chris. But well done, Lindsay. Since you didn’t even complain once, you get to choose who goes next!” Chris said as Lindsay sat back down.

“No thanks, I like everyone here-“ Lindsay began before Eva grabbed her hair and whispered to her, causing Lindsay to say, “Uh, I mean, I choose… Bridgette… with lake leeches… because she’s a backstabbing, low-life traitor… grrr?”

Chef put out a barrel filled with lake leeches.

“It’s payback time, traitor!” Eva said.

“Alright, Bridgette, time’s a wasting! Get your butt in the barrel of leeches!” Chris said.

—Confessional: Leshawna—

“Even though we all wanted Eva off the island,  for some reason she was gunning for all of her old teammates. Felt bad, but better then than me.”

Cut to Bridgette about to get in the barrel, only for Geoff to say, “No! Wait! I’ll take her place!”

“Oh, that is so romantic!” Lindsay said.

“Oh, by the way, if your victims lasts ten seconds without saying uncle, you’re eliminated instead.” Chris said, “Which means you lose your chance at the trailer!”

Geoff winked at Bridgette before getting in the barrel. He was fine at first, but couldn’t handle it very long and jumped out.

“Ooh, close shave, Geoff. 9.999999999 seconds! Whatever, it’s not ten. You’re out. You can return to your new seat!” Chris said to Chef as a pillory shot up to replace his chair.

—Confessional: Eva—

“Truth be told, I only cared about something happening as payback to them, I’m not nearly as mad at Geoff or Courtney now.”

Cut to Owen standing in a pair of wooden shorts, “Wooden shorts? Big deal.” Owen said.

Chef then held up a woodpecker. Owen gasped in fear.

We then have a montage of challenges, such as Gwen getting nose hair plucked, DJ being constricted by a snake, and Bridgette wearing a shirt of bees. Eventually, the wheel landed on a footprint.

“Our next challenge will be spending ten seconds in a wooden crate with Sasquatchanakwa! Tough one.” Chris said, “Bridgette, you haven’t complained in awhile, so you can choose the victim.”

Everyone began chanting, “Eva! Eva! Eva!”

—Confessional: Eva—

“And just like that, I’m mad at all of them again.”

—Confessional: Leshawna—

“Eva’s hardcore. If there’s anyone who can pull this off, it’s her.”

—Confessional: Gwen—

“Eva’s gonna be so ticked off.”

Bridgette reluctantly nodded her head. Eva held up a tag and said, “Here’s a toe-tag, surfer girl. You’ll be needing it for later.”

Eva walked into the crate. Everyone heard sounds of rumbling and fighting. Ten seconds later, Eva walked out while sporting a new pair of fuzzy boots and a fuzzy hat, completely unhurt.

“Eva stuck it out, so Bridgette’s out of the game. Reckless choice from Bridgette.” Chris said as Bridgette was placed into her pillory. Geoff smiled at her and she smiled back.

We then cut to a montage of the campers failing. Trent failed at jumping over skunks, Gwen couldn’t listen to New Age music for ten seconds, Lindsay refused to get hair her cut off with a chainsaw, Owen couldn’t handle an ice cream brain freeze, DJ refused to wake up a sleeping bear, Courtney refused to wrestle an alligator, and Heather refused to high dive into a pool with two inches of water, leaving just Leshawna, Eva, and Izzy.

Cut to Chef shocking Izzy with electric eels, which she just laughed at, “That was great! Hit me again!” Chef did so and Izzy kept laughing.

“Izzy, who’s up next?“ Chris asked.

“Ooh! Ooh! Me! With the poison ivy spa treatment!”

—Confessional: Leshawna—

“Is it just me, or is that girl some kind of crazy?”

Chris called the producers, “It’s Chris. Yeah, yeah, she wants to do it! Okay, gotcha.” He hung up the phone and turned back to Izzy.

“Okay, the producers will allow it, but they wanna know why.” he said.

“I just wanna see how it feels!” Izzy responded.

“…Alrighty then.”

Cut to Izzy’s face wrapped in poison ivy. “Time’s up! Chef, remove the poison ivy.” Chris said.

“No, no, it feels great.” Izzy said.

“You stuck it out. But sadly, you’ve eliminated yourself.”

Izzy, her face now swollen, sat in her pillory.

“Leshawna, you’re up! After twenty rounds of torture, were down to two steely competitors in the sudden death round!” Chris said.

—Confessional: Leshawna—

“I did not make it this far to quit now. That trailer is mine. Whatever he throws at me, I’m gonna do!”

“The final challenge is the grizzly bear log roll!” Chris said.

“The grizzly bear say what?” Leshawna asked in shock.

Cut to a bear standing on a log. Chris said, “Molotov the Bear preforms with the Russian National Circus and has been the European log rolling champion for the past twelve years! To win, you must last ten seconds on log while avoiding falling into the piranha infested waters! If you want, you could back out now.”

“No way, I’ve seen scarier looking faces at the mall. I’m going in!” Leshawna said as she hopped onto the log.

Leshawna had a tough time staying on, but she was determined. Eventually, she ran so fast that when she jumped to stop, Molotov fell in the water. When he came back out, he no longer had any fur.

“Ha! And that’s how I roll!” Leshawna said.

“Leshawna wins! So Eva is out!” Chris said.

“What!? No way!” Eva yelled.

“She wins the challenge, solo immunity, and the grand prize!”

“Woohoo! Yes baby! You lose, I win! You lose, I win!” Leshawna gloated.

“As angry as I am, you’ve earned my respect.” Eva said bitterly.

“While Leshawna checks out her trailer full of food, the rest of you can go place your votes. You can vote for anyone other than Leshawna.” Chris said.

Cut to the Campfire Ceremony. Leshawna alone sat in the Peanut Gallery while everyone else sat on the logs.

“Okay, so first up, we ran out of marshmallows.” Chris said.

“NOOOOO!” Owen yelled.

“I’ve reviewed the votes, and I have to say, there is lots of hate on in this group! Which is awesome! While I normally protect your privacy, due to the lack of an item to show your protection, we’ll just be playing your voting confessionals instead!” Chris said, much to everyone’s shock.

—Voting: Izzy—

“Eva’s really cool once you get to know her! Anyway, Heather was supposed to leave earlier, plus she put Noah in a wheelchair, so I vote for her!”

—Voting: DJ—

“Eva’s nuts, sorry girl.”

—Voting: Courtney—

“Like I told her, Eva needs to keep her temper in check if she wants to stay in the game.”

—Voting: Leshawna—

“Heather may be a pain in my side, but Eva’s too dangerous.”

—Voting: Lindsay—

“I just can’t get over how smooth my skin is! Anyway, I vote off Ava, because she’s scarier than Heather, Lequisha, and Gwen combined.”

—Voting: Heather—

“Since Leshawna’s immune, there’s no other choice but rageaholic Eva.”

—Voting: Bridgette—

“Please, please, Eva! I’m so glad you never air these.”

—Voting: Geoff—

“It’s gotta be Eva! Unless I can figure out who snagged my other lucky hat”

—Voting: Gwen—

“Eva’s a freak, so, see ya.”

—Voting: Trent—

“Sorry Eva, you’re scary.”

—Voting: Owen—

“Yeah, I have to say Eva. Sorry.”

—Voting: Eva—

“Unless they wanna leave in bodybags, they better not say my name. I vote for Heather.”

“Lots of dirt revealed there, huh? But in the end, that’s ten votes against Eva. So, adios! Again.” Chris said.

“What!? This isn’t the end of me! You better watch your backs! I’m not done! I’ll get my revenge!” Eva yelled.

Cut to Eva on the Boat of Losers in a straight jacket, “I’m not done with you! Oh, and Izzy lied! She wasn’t in the woods! She was-“

“Wow, she has issues, huh? Party at Leshawna’s new crib!” Izzy said. Everyone agreed and joined her there.

Cut to a cave, where a mostly shaven Sasquatchanakwa putting in one of Geoff’s hats while Molotov the bear put on one of Sadie’s leftover outfits.

Chapter Text

Recap:

“Last time on Total Drama Island, the teams were officially dissolved, leaving each and every camper to look out for themselves. And just to add a little bit more drama to the mix, our final ten became our final twelve, as Izzy and Eva returned for more fun. The campers were made to suffer all manner of abuse in the no pain, no game challenge. In an act of chivalry, Geoff stepped up to save his girl from the perils of the leech barrel, and in an amazing display of log rolling, Leshawna won invincibility and a sick new trailer. In the end, Eva’s outrageous temper sent her home. Again. Now that the campers are forced to fend for themselves, who will be selfless? Who will be selfish? And who will eat shellfish? Stay tuned for the most thrilling episode yet, on Total Drama Island!”

-Theme Song-

Open on multiple wide shots of the great outdoors as Leshawna stepped out from her trailer.

Cut down to the dock, where Trent got out of the water, and called out to Gwen, “Hey beautiful, whatcha sketching?”

“Nothing!” she replied as a camera zoomed in on her drawing of Trent.

—Confessional: Gwen—

“I absolutely, positively don’t have a thing for Trent. I’m so over it. I mean c’mon, sure for a week or two I was into him, but I mean-“ she sighed.

Cut to Chris shooting a cannon that almost crushed Leshawna’s trailer, but just barely missed.

“Yaarg, mateys! Meet me at the amphitheater in five minutes, and I’ll tell yee about today’s challenge!” Chris said over the loud speakers.

Cut to the remaining half of the cast sitting in the bleachers, where Chris said, “Well, my little scallawags, have we got an adventure in store for ye!”

“What’s under the sheet?” Geoff asked while pointing to a sheet-covered lump on the stage.

“All in good time, laddie! Who here has a hankerin’ for a good ol’ fashioned treasure hunt?”

Gwen rolled her eyes.

“Now, this treasure hunt’s got a twist, mateys! What you’re looking for isn’t hidden, and it isn’t treasure!” Chris continued.

“If we’re not looking for treasure, why are you dressed as a pirate?” Courtney asked.

“Yaarg, shiver me Timbers! Good question, lassie! You’re looking for keys to a treasure chest! Inside each of these chests is a treasure that will pamper ye landlubbers! And one of these chests even contains a marshmallow, guaranteeing invincibility tonight! Now, come around and pull a clue out of this bucket, or you’ll have to walk the plank!” Chris said as everyone grabbed their clue, “These clues will tell ye where yer key be stowed!”

Izzy’s was a picture of a snake, DJ’s was a tree, Courtney’s was a ring of fire, Leshawna’s was an alligator, Lindsay’s was a beehive, Heather’s was a fridge, Bridgette’s was a rabbit, Geoff’s was a toilet, Gwen’s was a skunk, Trent’s was a shark, and Owen’s was….

“A bear!?” Owen asked in shock.

“I was hoping you’d get that one, dude.” Chris said as he dropped the pirate accent, before turning to Heather and saying, “Chef’s fridge, nice. I heard he dusts it daily for fingerprints.”

He went over to Geoff and said, “That there is the septic tank for the washrooms. Now, all ye scallawags go find yer keys, and bring ‘em back by six PM eastern standard time to open up yer chest and get yer loot! Dare the well, young scallawags! Not get to it!”

—Confessional: Heather—

“I don’t know who came up with these lame-o challenges, and, memo to Chris, those pirate tights don’t exactly flatter your legs, savvy?”

—Confessional: Owen—

“Wahoo! I am all about the treasure hunt! Yes! The bear is a little concerning, but there’s treasure!”

Cut to Trent standing at the dock, seeing his key on a platform surrounded by sharks. He grabbed a nearby bucket of fish and threw it into the lake, and swiftly grabbed his key.

“That was way too easy.” Trent said.

Cut to Heather nervously trying to get into Chef’s fridge. She opened it, only to Chef inside of it. She closed the door and walked away.

Cut to Gwen pondering how to get her key from the skunk hole, when Trent came up to her and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Ugh, my key is in that skunk hole. Skunks totally freak me out.” she replied.

“Listen, I’ve already got my key, let me help you out.”

“But this is practically impossible!”

“You could just pour water down the hole and flush it out.”

“Can skunks swim?”

“Totally.”

“Cool.”

The two smiled at each other.

Cut to Lindsay using a rope to lower Heather down into Chef’s kitchen. Chef was asleep at the counter, so Heather quietly tiptoed to the fridge and grabbed the key. Lindsay began to pull her back up, but she flinched a bee flew past her. Heather dropped the key, but managed to grab it before it hit the ground an was raised out without a second issue.

Cut back to Gwen and Trent pouring a bucket of water into the skunk den. Sure enough, the skunk was flushed out and Gwen grabbed her key.

—Confessional: Gwen—

“That was moderately cool of Trent to help me avoid the skunks. He’s okay. Okay, he’s more than okay! He’s so incredible! But… don’t tell anyone I said that.”

—Confessional: Trent—

“The fact that Gwen is so smart and independent, coupled with the fact that she’s incredible to look at, is just making me nuts! She rocks my world! So yeah, I’d risk a skunk shot for her, any day.”

Gwen ran up to Trent and kissed him. Chris paused the camera and in voiceover said, “Aw, what a trust building, heartwarming moment! I sure hope nobody will ruin it!”

Unbeknownst to them, Heather was watching from the bushes.

—Confessional: Heather—

“That’s just too much! Everyone knows that boyfriend-girlfriend is just another way to say alliance. And my alliance is going to be the only alliance on this island! Luckily, I took a peek at what chest my key opens. And guess who’s got invincibility tonight? So I’m spending my day insuring one of them goes home by any means necessary. And conveniently, Trent’s been out of commission most times I’ve pulled off my schemes.”

—Confessional: Lindsay—

Lindsay was using the bathroom while reading the magazine, not realizing that the camera in the confessional was still on.

Cut to Courtney finding the ring of fire. She was expected to jump through and grab the key in the middle, but she just reached over and grabbed it instead.

Cut to DJ climbing a tree to grab his key off of a branch, only for a woodpecker to begin pecking at the branch.

Cut to Geoff putting on a snorkel and hopping into the septic tank.

Cut to Lindsay looking worried about her key, only for Izzy to walk up and grab it for her. After she gave it to Lindsay, all the bees chased her into the water and Izzy yelled, “Good luck, Lindsay!”

Cut to a sleeping bear with a key tied around its neck. Owen quietly walked up to it, saying “Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.” the whole way. He crouched down to grab the key, only for the bear to grab him in its sleep.

Cut to Izzy walking up to a snake and saying, “Hey, little fella, how ya doing? Aww, well you sure are cute!”

The snake bit her in the head, “And feisty too!” she said before falling over.

“There’s no time for that now! You, come with me!” Heather said as she walked up and dragged Izzy to the pier where Lindsay was already waiting.

“Okay, listen up! Izzy, since you helped out Lindsay earlier, I’ll let you into our alliance, if you help me with something.” Heather said.

Izzy laughed, “Ha! Please! Did you forget that Noah, Owen, and I tried to vote you out? There’s no way I’m joining you!” she continued to laugh as she walked away, all the while the snake was wrapped around her.

“Tch, whatever, Lindsay, I need- what happened to you?” Heather asked the very bruised Lindsay, who just incoherently mumbled about bee stings, “Whatever. I need you to go to our cabin and put this letter on Gwen’s bed.

Heather handed a pink envelope to Lindsay, who rushed off to go do as told.

Cut to Leshawna on a rickety bridge with alligators and a key below it.

Cut to Lindsay placing the envelope on Gwen’s bed. A little while after Lindsay left, Gwen walked in and noticed the letter. Opening it up, she read “‘Meet by the Dock of Shame at 5 o’clock for a little surprise. Love, Trent.’ Cool.” she said with a smile as she walked off.

Cut to Geoff’s voice coming from somewhere in the septic tank shouting, “Oh for the love of all that good, tell me where this key is!”

Nearby, Heather told Lindsay, “Okay, I need you to lead Trent to me. Then, once you see Gwen, give me the signal.”

“You can count on me!” Lindsay replied.

Cut to Heather on the dock, saying, “Where is she? I knew I couldn’t count on her!”

Just the Lindsay, led Trent to the dock, saying, “Heather just won’t tell me what’s going on!”

Seeing them, Heather began to fake cry. Not knowing what exactly they were doing, Lindsay said, “She looks really sad. She told me she wanted to see you, so maybe you should go talk to her.”

“Heather, what’s wrong?” Trent said as he approached her.

“Oh, nothing.” she said as she continued to fake cry.

“No, tell me.”

“Well… I don’t wanna sound like a suck or anything, but Gwen’s just been so mean to me and I just don’t get why! I’m just not sure I can go on like this!” Heather made sure to fake cry as much as possible while also being as touchy with Trent as she could. Meanwhile, Lindsay was sitting in the tree while looking out for Gwen.

“Gwen’s just kind of a hard girl to get to know, that’s all.” Trent said, “Don’t take it personally.”

“I’m just so surprised to see you supporting her! Y’know, after all the horrible thing she say about you I- oops!”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I-I feel terrible telling you this, I-I promised I wouldn’t say a word, but, you should know that Gwen confided in the girls last week that she really can’t stand you, and thinks you’re a total cliche, your music sucks, and she’s only stringing you along to get further in the game.”

“But… but I thought… me and Gwen had a… a real connection….” Trent said in shock.

Just then, Gwen got close to the dock, causing Lindsay to let out the signal, attracting a bunch of birds.

“Gwen is just playing you for your vote. She’s played us all, and you’re just so nice that I can’t watch you fall for it anymore!” Heather blubbered.

“Wow… and I all this time I thought she really liked me… she really said my music sucks?” Trent replied as Heather nodded with fake sadness.

Lindsay, now covered in even more birds, let out the signal again.

Before Trent could look over and see Gwen or Lindsay, Heather grabbed his face and said, “Maybe Gwen thinks your music sucks, but I think you’re really talented.”

Making sure Gwen could see, Heather kissed Trent, much to the shock of him, Gwen, and Lindsay. Gwen began to tear up and dropped the envelope before she crushed it with her boot.

When Heather pulled away from Trent as he sighed and ran off.

Trent and Gwen ran to opposite sides of the Island and slammed their fists into the ground while screaming in agony.

—Confessional: Gwen—

“Jerk!”

—Confessional: Trent—

“User!”

—Confessional: Gwen—

“I thought we had-“

—Confessional: Trent—

“-something real. Man, was I ever wrong.”

Cut back to Owen in the grasp of the bear. He tickled its nose with the key, only for the bear to open its mouth and put Owen’s head in it. And the it woke up.

“Crap infinity.” Owen said in fear.

Cut to Gwen crying in the girls cabin. Leshawna, hearing the crying, came in and asked, “What’s up, girl?”

“How’d you get all scratched up like that?” Gwen asked.

“Ha, you should see the crocodiles. What about you? What’s up?”

“Well, you see, what happened was…”

Cut to Leshawna storming out in anger while saying, “Heather is so off this Island.”

Cut to Leshawna yelling to Geoff in the septic tank, saying, “We need you in the alliance so we can vote off Heather! She’s playing around with Gwen’s boy Trent!”