Archive of Our Own ^beta

The sky was cloudless, the moon casting a faint glow over the empty streets. Arisu groaned, feet aching and blood seeping through his thin pants. He'd been nicked on the side of his thigh by a weapon too quick for him to recognise. His hair was matted and sticking to his forehead with sweat as he huffed his way along the concrete.

"That was tough, wasn't it," He tried to joke, forcing a smile and watching Chishiya walk beside him, unfazed, as if he hadn't just played a game.

"For some," Chishiya replied. If he was more animated Arisu could imagine him shrugging with a smug smile.

Chishiya had pushed Kuina out of the way, effectively saving her life but had gotten burned himself, his hoodie sleeve catching fire. Usagi had quickly jumped to his aid, pulling the hoodie off him and stamping the fire out.

Ducking his head down, he could see his forearm was slightly swollen and red. "Spade games are only good for active people like Kuina and Usagi."

Kuina and Usagi had made their way back to their temporary camp—a clearing about a mile or so from the city, not their best place, but it worked for now—while Arisu and Chishiya walked in a different direction to a stream they'd found in the forest a week or so back.

Shaking his head to move his hair out of his face, Chishiya just hummed. Although it was missing a sleeve, Chishiya had put the hoodie back on after the game. If anyone asked Arisu he'd tell them the hoodie was for aesthetics, not warmth.

They walked in silence for a few minutes before they reached the stream. The water was high and fast, silencing most of the noise around them. The stars reflected off the body of water in the middle, where it calmed down.

They were silent as they stripped, Arisu being sure to keep his gaze to himself. In a world where most respect was gone, Arisu found it important to give his friends (Would he class Chishiya as one?) as much privacy as possible. It was a lot to get vulnerable when you didn't know who to trust.

Arisu hissed as he lowered himself into the water, clothes in a pile by the edge opposed to Chishiya's clothes that were folded neatly on a rock. He thought it matched their personalities quite well.

"Ah… everything hurts," Arisu complained, spreading out and feeling every injury on his body protest. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing, the way his mother would tell him to do when injured himself as a child.

He would work himself up into hysterics at the slightest cut or fall and his mother would rush to his side, reminding him to breathe and be brave. The thought made his chest pang, especially when it reminded him of his father yelling at him for crying when he broke his knee two weeks after his mother's funeral.

"Where are your worst injuries?" Chishiya's voice cut through, making him blink his eyes open. He was sitting across from him, water up to his biceps.

"Uhh," he thought out loud. "My thigh. It's not too bad though." He watched the slow current wash over it, ribbons of blood going with it.

"Put pressure on it." Chishiya was holding his arm above the water, being careful to not get it wet. And maybe he'd make a joke about Arisu bleeding out if he was that type of person. Instead, he just watched Arisu with observant eyes.

Doing what he was told, Arisu sat up a bit, almost slipping. "Does your arm hurt?"

Chishiya paused before he answered, "It does, yes."

Arisu wouldn't have expected such honesty from him a few weeks ago but they seem to have become closer, and Chishiya was less defensive around him. He let his guard down now and then when they were alone. His lips were tugged down into an almost painful frown.

"Shouldn't you put it in the water?" Arisu asked, fully sitting up so he matched Chishiya's position. He kept a hand pressed to his thigh to stop the bleeding.

"It's probably not the cleanest." Chishiya sighed a little but dropped his arm into the water anyway. His face scrunched up in pain, teeth clenching to not make a sound. "Fuck."

Despite the serious situation, Arisu laughed a little, causing Chishiya to narrow his eyes at him. "What's so funny?"

Arisu put his hands up in defence. "I don't think you've ever said a curse word around me yet. It must really hurt."

"It does." Chishiya shook his hair out of his eyes again. He flattened his lips before continuing, "I don't find the need for curse words that often."

Arisu wanted to push his hair back, get it out of his face so he could see properly. Neither had had a haircut since arriving and though Chishiya made it work it certainly annoyed him. He decided he was going to find him some hair grips when they next went out for supplies.

He was about to open his mouth when an idea popped into his head. One that Chishiya would definitely hate but their relationship had grown significantly and he thought it was worth a try.

"Can I wash your hair?" He shyly asked, eyeing the way the ends stuck to his neck. He had sweat just as much as Arisu, his black shirt sticking to his chest before he'd picked up his hoodie.

Chishiya stayed silent, face emotionless. As expected.

However, what Arisu didn't expect was for Chishiya to nod and agree, "If you'd like."

And he very much would, thank you very much. He made slow movements as he worked his way around Chishiya, careful not to disturb his arm. Eventually, he settled behind him on his knees, not that he needed the extra height to reach.

The water was up to Chishiya's shoulders and Arisu pushed down on them slightly, forcing him to tilt back. "Do you have the soap?"

Chishiya reached out with his uninjured arm and picked up the soap from the nearby rock, just where he'd placed it. He wordlessly handed it to Arisu.

"Thank you," Arisu mumbled, cupping water in his hands and pouring it over the blonde hair in front of him.

Chishiya just closed his eyes, chest rising and falling slowly. Arisu was sure he was in pain. The face he'd made when he'd put his arm in the water was quite disturbing, especially since he tried so hard to hide his emotions.

Even though he'd never said it (he didn't have to), it was obvious that Chishiya seen emotions as weakness. As if a hint of happiness or sadness was him baring his chest, allowing anyone to take a shot at him. Arisu wondered if he was naturally that way or if life had forced him to become that way.

After Chishiya's hair was wet enough, Arisu started to lather up the bar of soap. They'd left a soap bar in a plastic bag the second time they'd all come for a wash, knowing someone (Arisu) would forget to bring it.

He placed his hands on Chishiya's scalp and started to rub it in. "Would you like a head massage, sir?" Arisu teased, putting on his best customer service voice, just as Usagi had done when they'd gone for supplies one time.

Chishiya blinked up at him, eyebrows slightly scrunched. "What are you doing?"

"Playing hairdresser, Chishiya," He teased, gently scratching at his head. Back at the beach and after Chishiya's betrayal, Arisu had been afraid of Chishiya. But now he found him harmless although a bit intimidating, he trusted that he wouldn't hurt him.

"Have you never been to the hairdresser?" Arisu continued, switching from his nails to his fingertips and starting to massage Chishiya's scalp. "They always ask you if you want a massage."

"I only went as a child," Chishiya told him, still watching him. He seemed to relax, slipping further into the water. "It…" He trailed off, staring up at the sky instead of Arisu. "It feels nice."

Arisu's heart almost burst, knowing that it took a lot for Chishiya to say that. He continued what he was doing, switching from his nails to his fingertips. "Good," He hummed. "I should become a hairdresser once we get out of here."

Chishiya's lips twitched, almost a smile. Then he looked back up at Arisu, eyelashes long and dark. "Maybe you should."

They ignored the rest of the sentence. The possibility that this is their world now. That there is no going home.

Chishiya's hair was knotted from sweating and running so Arisu took his time detangling it, watching Chishiya's face to make sure he wasn't hurting him. His hair was dry and the cheap soap they were using certainly wasn't doing anything for it.

Arisu mentally added conditioner to his list of supplies to get for him.

Absentmindedly, Arisu's hands travelled to Chishiya's neck and shoulders, squeezing and kneading any knots out of them. When he pressed on a particularly tight spot, Chishiya tensed under his hands, inhaling sharply before he exhaled and practically melted back into Arisu. If he was a cat Arisu could imagine him purring.

Arisu had gotten so wrapped up in massaging Chishiya's hair that he'd never noticed that his leg started to bleed again. Instead, it was Chishiya who noticed the faint red in the water.

"You're bleeding again, Arisu," he almost scolded, frowning again. He twisted around, hair still bubbly, and placed a hand on Arisu's thigh, determined to stop the bleeding.

"Shiya, you're going to get soap in your eyes," Arisu panicked, pushing his hair away from his eyes and wiping the soap off his forehead. He never even noticed the nickname that fell past his lips, and if Chishiya did then he must not have minded.

They sat, face to face, Arisu's hands on Chishiya's shoulders, Chishiya's hand on his thigh. If anyone was to see them they'd wonder what they'd caught them doing.

There was silence, so quiet that Arisu could hear his heart beating in his chest. He swallowed, mouth suddenly dry.

Arisu was smart, he knew he was attracted to Chishiya. And knowing Chishiya he'd probably picked up on that too. But this world was a world of life and death, so fast-paced that they barely had time to think. How could you find the time to get so caught up in silly feelings when you were fighting to survive?

Although, time seemed to slow, just long enough for Arisu to search Chishiya's eyes, looking for any discomfort. He seemed… content.

The stars appeared to reflect on his eyes and Arisu wanted to remember this moment forever. To never forget Chishiya's face.

"Arisu," Chishiya almost whispered, voice steady unlike what Arisu would sound like. He pressed harder on Arisu's leg, fingers curling around his thigh. "You have to stop the bleeding."

Breathing shakily, almost laughing, Arisu shook his head and the moment was gone. They were back in the apocalypse, back to fighting for their lives.

"Let me finish your hair," Arisu said, almost pleading. He wanted to go back to that moment. Just the two of them. No games to worry about.

Chishiya looked hesitant but turned back around, this time keeping a hand pressed against Arisu's leg.

Arisu was quick to rinse the soap out, combing through it again with his hands. Usagi had picked up a hair brush not too long ago so he'd be sure to go through it later when it was dry. If Chishiya let him, that was.

"All done," He smiled, hands still running through the blonde's hair before settling on his shoulders again. He rubbed over his shoulders and down his arms. Curling his fingers around Chishiya's elbows, he pressed up against him, almost wrapped around him. He waited for Chishiya to shrug him off or tell him to move.

But instead of resisting, he brought his free hand up to touch Arisu's arm, letting him know it was okay, he wasn't going to move.

"Do you think we'd be friends in the real world?" Arisu whispered, cheek against Chishiya's hair.

Chishiya breathed deeply before responding, "I hope we would."

After a few minutes, Arisu asked another question. "When we go back we'll be friends right?" Arisu almost feared the rejection, Chishiya telling him they wouldn't be.

"I think we will, yes."

The water rushing further down the stream was filling the silence and Arisu could fall asleep like this. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed physical touch, especially from a friend. Karube, Chota and him would cuddle up often, whether it be watching a movie, playing games on Karube's tiny TV, or just falling asleep together because there was more than enough room for the three of them in Arisu's double bed.

Chishiya shifted under him, squeezing his arm slightly. "We should head back."

Reluctantly, Arisu got off of him, giving his shoulders one last squeeze before letting go. "Ahh," he sighed dramatically. "I wish we could just stay here."

"Me too."

Chishiya turned just in time for Arisu to catch a glimpse of his small smile. It made his eyes close slightly and Arisu wished he had a camera to take a picture.

"Thank you for washing my hair. I appreciate it," Chishiya nodded at him, smiling again. Arisu couldn't help but match it, although his smile was much wider, making his cheeks hurt. "Would you like me to wash yours?"

Arisu didn't think he could handle that. He may combust if Chishiya washed his hair for him. He could already feel his cheeks heating up at the thought. He would not be able to handle that, especially naked.

"Uh," he cleared his throat quickly. "No thank you. I can wash yours anytime! I really enjoyed you- no wait. I hope you enjoyed it." Arisu willed himself to stop blushing.

Chishiya had that serious face again. "I did." He lifted his hand off of Arisu's thigh to see that it'd stopped bleeding. "Clean your wounds and I can take care of them back at camp."

Arisu nodded, glad he had an excuse to turn away. He hurriedly washed himself, rushing through his hair and hoping he got all the soap out. When he turned back around, Chishiya was watching him carefully. And there was that blush again.

"You're blushing," Chishiya almost teased. He crossed his arms across his chest. "Do I make you uncomfortable?"

"No!" Arisu rushed to say, shaking his hands. "Not at all. I'm just," he paused. "You make me nervous." His confession just made his blush worse and he wanted to hit himself in the head for reacting like a teenage boy. Not very calm and collected of him.

"Oh," Chishiya tilted his head to the side. He inched his way towards Arisu. "Is that so?"

Arisu tried to control his breathing, face too close to Chishiya's. "Yeah," was all he could whisper.

The air around them was tense and Arisu felt like a stretched rubber band, ready to snap at any moment. He could feel his heart thumping in his chest. Their faces were so close that all Arisu had to do was tilt forward and they would be touching.

Without noticing, his eyes had fallen onto Chishiya's lips, engraving everything into his memory. He could stare at him for hours.

When he finally looked up, Chishiya was staring at him, eyes unreadable.

"Do it," he provoked him, granting him permission.

And Arisu didn't need much convincing to duck his head down and connect their lips.

Chishiya's lips were soft against his own as he tried his best to not let it show that this was his fourth ever kiss. He reached out, one hand cupping Chishiya's cheek while his other held his uninjured arm. Chishiya pushed forward, causing Arisu to part his lips and grip tighter onto his arm.

When Arisu finally pulled back, his heart racing, he couldn't help the smile that made its way onto his lips. He had to try not to laugh, so happy that his chest might explode.

Chishiya pulled him closer, holding onto his shoulders as they sat at the shallow end of the water. He had a faint tint of pink along his cheeks and it made Arisu feel proud. He made Chishiya blush. Chishiya, who 2 months prior would've left him for dead at any chance, was blushing because of him.

"I like you," Arisu blurted out, self-control gone, along with any shame he had left. "I like you a lot and I feel like you already knew that but you have to know."

"I know," Chishiya hummed, glancing up at the sky for a second before looking at Arisu again. "I like you too."

Before Arisu could kiss him again, Chishiya pushed him back. "We have to get back. Kuina and Usagi will be worried about us."

Chishiya was right and Arisu hated it. He wanted to stay here with him for the rest of his life. He wanted to come back here once they make it to their own world and he wants to recreate this memory a thousand times over.

"Okay," Arisu couldn't stop smiling though, always one to wear his emotions. "Kiss me one more time first."

Before meeting him halfway, Chishiya smiled at him again, something that used to be such a rare sight.

-

When they had finally dried off and were making their way back to their temporary camp, Arisu caught himself smiling up at the stars, wishing Karube and Chota were around to hear about this.

"You would've hated Karube and Chota but they would've loved you," Arisu told Chishiya, looking at him as they walked through the forest.

"I wouldn't have hated them," Chishiya thought before he spoke. "You're a good judge of character and if you liked them then I would have too."

-

Kuina and Usagi were already eating when they arrived, huddled around the fire. They'd also grown closer, and Usagi started to talk to her more.

"Oi, Chishiya!" Kuina called, waving at them. "Are you gonna wear that hoodie until it's dead?"

"Maybe." Chishiya headed straight for their first aid bag, pulling out everything they'd need. He brought it over to the fire and sat down across from the girls, setting out everything on a sheet of tarp they carried around for this exact thing.

"What are we eating?" Arisu asked, sitting down beside Chishiya.

"Soup, we found a few cans that were in date," Usagi explained, dishing out two portions for the boys. "It's beef and vegetable."

Arisu wasted no time in eating it, hunger catching up to him. By the time he was finished, Chishiya had already patched himself up. Kuina was laying back on her arms, staring up at the sky while Usagi spoke to her.

"Your turn," Chishiya told him as he placed some tools into the pot of boiling water on the fire. "Strip."

Nearly choking, Arisu sat up straight and waved his hands. "What!? I'm not stripping off." He felt heat rise from his chest to his cheeks. He hated how easily he blushed.

Kuina burst out laughing, smacking Usagi on the shoulder. "You're blushing!"

"Am not!" Arisu argued, pointing at her. "I just don't want to get naked in front of everyone!"

"You were naked 20 minutes ago," Chishiya reminded him, tilting his head. "What's the difference now?"

Covering her mouth, Usagi started to giggle too. She put her empty bowl down and cleared her throat. "Let's go to bed, Kuina. Arisu should get his leg patched up."

Usagi stood up, pulling Kuina by the elbow who reluctantly followed. "Goodnight," she nodded at both of them before dragging a complaining Kuina behind her. They could hear them bickering, even after the tent was zipped up.

Sighing, Arisu stood up and took off his pants, leaving him in only his boxers. He kept his eyes on the ground, making eye contact with Chishiya might be his last straw, especially after earlier. All that was playing in his head was their kiss. After folding his clothes he sat down across from Chishiya with his legs stretched out.

"Ah," he sighed again as he leaned back until he was lying on the ground. Closing his eyes, he still felt the heat on his cheeks. He almost fell asleep as Chishiya worked on his leg, cleaning it with water and bandaging it up.

"Done," Chishiya said, putting everything away and wiping everything down. "Why did you lie on the dirty floor after we just had a bath?"

"I…" Arisu opened his eyes and used his elbows to prop himself up. "I don't know." He scratched his head and quietly laughed. "I'm tired."

Chishiya smiled while nodding. "Let's go to bed then."

Chishiya didn't offer him a hand to stand up but he didn't expect one. He followed him into the tent, forgetting his pants on the rock outside. Arisu lay down first, sliding under their double sleeping bag, watching as Chishiya took his hoodie off.

"It's ruined isn't it," Chishiya held it up to show him as if he hadn't seen it catch on fire earlier.

"It's not that bad but it won't keep you warm. We can find you another one tomorrow." Arisu rolled over to his side, his face mushed into the pillow.

Chishiya shook his head. "No. This was the only thing I kept from our world." Confused, Arisu made a face at him and Chishiya explained. "When I arrived, I went back to my apartment specifically for this. My friend gave me this a few months before she died."

"Oh." Arisu blinked a few times, surprised Chishiya even told him that. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Chishiya folded it up and placed it by the door of their tent. He lifted the sleeping bag and slid in, zipping it up behind him. "Death happens."

"You can still be sad about it."

Chishiya was lying on his back, staring at the top of their tent while Arisu watched him from his side. He smiled and turned to Arisu. "I am sad, I just don't show it as much as other people."

"It's okay to be outwardly sad." Arisu wanted to hold his hand or do anything to comfort him. "I was a mess when my mom died. I cried for weeks and my dad hated it because he didn't think it was normal. But how else are we supposed to cope if we don't get upset every now and then."

"I suppose you're right." Chishiya looked away again and Arisu frowned, he wanted to see his face. His eyes closed and he hummed. "This isn't the happiest thing to talk about is it?"

Somehow overrun with confidence, Arisu sat up, leaning over Chishiya. "Can I kiss you again?"

Opening his eyes, Chishiya almost laughed. "If you wish."

Arisu frowned. "That's not a yes. Don't you know what consent is, Chishiya?"

"Of course I do. It might always be a yes for you Arisu."

Before he could hesitate, Arisu leaned down and kissed him. Although Chishiya had told him to do it, he seemed surprised as if he didn't actually expect it. It took him a second to catch up but when he did, he pulled Arisu closer, hands on his waist.

Again, Arisu was inexperienced. He didn't know what he was doing. All of his other kisses were innocent close mouthed kisses (apart from that one time with an absolutely wasted Karube that he didn't want to think about right now). He placed his hands on Chishiya's shoulders, definitely holding on too tight. But this felt nice, not like he was drunk and desperate. It made him feel safe.

He had to pull away for a moment and catch his breath. And the way Chishiya looked at him. He wanted him to look at him like that for as long as they made it in this place.

When Chishiya pulled him back down he resisted, breathing hard. "Wait." He squeezed his shoulders. "Need to breathe." Chishiya just hummed, hands moving from his waist to his shoulder and then back down.

Suddenly the whole thing was funny. That he was there with Chishiya and they're kissing. Who would've imagined that? Not Arisu.

Not able to control him, he fell forward, Chishiya catching him and laughed silently. His body shook as he leaned his forehead against Chishiya's shoulder. "This is so funny," he giggled, turning his head to look up at Chishiya. "We're living in an apocalypse and here we are."

"It is a little bit ironic," Chishiya agreed, giving Arisu another kiss. He cupped his cheek, the other hand still on his waist. "But we could die any day. You have to do things that make you happy right?"

"You do," Arisu whispered, finally no longer laughing after Chishiya stopped him with a kiss. "I think," Arisu paused, "You make me happy." Chishiya looked shocked, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. He dropped his hand from Arisu's cheek and placed it on his own chest.

"You didn't at the beach. When you betrayed me. I hated you back then because of that." Arisu smiled at him despite what he was saying. "But you do now. Now that we're friends. You make me feel safe."

Chishiya almost looked upset. "I didn't know you then. I wouldn't do that now," he confessed, voice quiet but firm.

"Yeah 'cause I'm so good at kissing," Arisu teased, trying to lighten the mood.

"You could use some work." Chishiya shrugged, moving his hand back to Arisu's waist.

"Well, I have some time to practise."

And when Arisu leaned in, Chishiya met him halfway.