Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sometimes I hate it, my lack of patience,

How sometimes love seems like a noun in some new foreign language,

And now my heart is bent and worn so thin,

Can you sew the skin?

The Beginning 

Sirius eyed the door and waited. Dumbledore had called a meeting from all the younger members of the Order, and something in his gut told him that whoever was going to walk through that door, would change the directory of the war.

The door inched open and Dumbledore stepped through first, Sirius could not see past the door as well as James could, who was sat beside him; James gasped. Sirius jerked towards James in order to see over Dumbledore’s shoulder and he felt himself pale.

Regulus stepped through the doorway.

~

Regulus was aware of the risk he was taking, accepting the deal that Dumbledore had presented him with however, was just too good to pass up. Freedom, Dumbledore was willing to give him freedom and that was all that Regulus had been praying for since Sirius had left. Since he was thirteen.

“Are you still certain? They do not have to know you have joined us,” Dumbledore said, his bright blue eyes dull with stress and lack of sleep. Regulus nodded; was he sure? No he was not. However, he also knew that it would make his job as a spy for the Order much easier if they knew that he had changed sides.

“We need to hurry, I’m expected for a meeting in an hour and my absence will be noted.”

Dumbledore nodded and he turned to the door, opening it slowly. Regulus held his breath, he was about to see his brother for the first time in a year and he had no idea how Sirius was going to react.

Regulus heard the gasps from behind Dumbledore’s back and then when Dumbledore stepped aside he was met with a room of shocked faces.

Regulus wanted to shrink himself; he wanted to turn back and run as fast as he could go. However, he steeled himself, he had chosen to do this and he would not allow his fear to control him any longer. Finally, he was going to do something right.

“Regulus?” Sirius said first.

Regulus looked to his brother and found himself looking at someone so familiar yet strange. Sirius had seemed to have aged years since his graduation from Hogwarts, causing his full implementation into the Order. His raven hair fell down to his shoulders, shining with grease as if he hadn’t washed it in weeks, bags lay beneath his eyes and shadowed the frown on his face, and his eyes. Oh, where had that mischievous spark gone? Regulus reminded himself coldly that he was not the only one that had been affected by this war, no matter how much he still resented his brother for leaving him alone in that house, left to defend himself against the leeches that sucked what light he had managed to horde for himself after Sirius had left. Sirius had been his light; had been his sun and without him, Regulus was forced to turn to the night. Looking at Sirius once more made him want to shy away from that light and find safety in the shadows. He felt as if he was burning; slowly yet surely, he would erupt into flames.

Regulus forced himself to look at his brother as with as little emotion as he was able. Which, unfortunately, was easy.

“Hello, Sirius,” Regulus said, with a nod.

Regulus moved his eyes away from his brother for the moment and forced himself to assess the others reactions. Potter, Lupin, Evans, McKinnon, Meadowes and Wormtail being the others. They all had equal looks of shock, Regulus did not miss the nervous look from Wormtail, and he felt himself flush with pride — or perhaps that was just the manipulator in him. He had that rat beneath his palm, and Wormtail knew it.

“I’m assuming you all know who this is already, so introductions are perhaps not needed. However, the reasoning as to why Regulus is here may be less obvious.”

“You haven’t come to make some sort of deal for your side, have you?” Sirius growled, glaring at Regulus, the shock of his presence obviously had warn off.

Dumbledore calmly shook his head. “No, Sirius. Your brother is here to offer his help. To give us an one up in this war.”

The silence was thicker than blood.

“Offer his help?” said Potter with confusion.

“I have joined your side Potter, I thought being a solider might have made your mind quicker,” Regulus sneered. He couldn’t help but speak, he knew he shouldn’t try and start any sort of fight, he had promised himself to control his quick temper. However, seeing Potter there looking so… unaffected by the war, so young and so… naive. Made all that anger rise. His encapsulating brown eyes still glittered with humour, although there was this hardened layer to it, almost as if the humour was being kept as a safe-guard, hiding the fragile fear beneath. There was a new scar across his cheek that ran over the bridge of his nose, thin and barely there but Regulus had trained himself to see the smallest detail on an individual. He saw that scar and he instantly wished that he could unsee it, for he knew who had caused it.

Himself.

Potter frowned and his face hardened. “You’ve joined our side, but why?”

Regulus did not want to answer that question, however he had learned—begrudgingly from Sirius throughout their Hogwarts years—that Sirius’s friends wanted nothing but honesty. So, he would give it to them.

“Since the rise of the Voldemort. I have been nothing but suffocated. I’ve been drowning in that house for far too long and I no longer want any part of it. I came to the only person who I knew would get me out. Rather, Dumbledore sought me out first and just at the perfect timing too, as I was seeking to leave.”

“Why now? You’ve been on their side for a year. You joined them even after I offered my hand. I asked you come with me Reg, and you said no,” Sirius spoke calmly yet Regulus could feel the betrayal chilling his words.

Regulus looked at his brother. “You do not get to say I had a choice at that time, brother,” Regulus hissed. “I was made the heir after you left, they were desperate, so fucking desperate for me stay that they breathed down my neck like vipers. I could not twitch a finger out of place without them noticing. You thought you had it hard as the heir? Well, I had it a hundred times worse! So you have no right to think that I had a choice to leave with you.” He took a shuddering breath. “I never did.”

Sirius’s face shifted into a pained expression, the others seemed to give him wary sympathetic looks. But none of them knew what it was like living in that house. They were more than expected to uphold the pure image of the House of Black, they were to be the House of Black and neither of them could perform that job to their parents approval. Sirius the most of all and when he failed and fled; Regulus became suffocated. Sirius had been a small pocket of air in a cave flooding with water, and without him, that air had dissipated.

“But I’m an adult now, I’ve learned that I no longer want to run from myself, I no longer want to be controlled like a dog on a leash. So I will end this war and finally have my freedom and it seems, I have chosen to do so on your side.”

“Fuck… Regulus is this is for real?” said Potter.

Regulus tried not to think too much about how James had used his first name and he nodded. “Yes this is real.”

Dumbledore cleared his throat. “I think our time is up Regulus, they are expecting you.”

Regulus swallowed down his fear. “Yes they are.” He turned to Dumbledore. “Goodnight to you and I guess I’ll be seeing the rest of you’s around.”

Regulus turned and walked out the door, Disapparating as soon as he had left the wards.

Now it was time to face his master.

~

“Where have you been?” Severus asked as they hurried towards the dining hall of Malfoy Manor, they were perhaps running a touch late and Regulus did not have the time to come up with a lie for Severus. He was busy preparing his mental defences from the Dark Lord.

They entered the hall and all eyes turned to them. Regulus could feel Severus stiffen, but he didn’t have time for Severus to blunder through a half-arsed attempt of an excuse. He rushed to a seat and sat himself down, looking to his master who was seated at the head of the table.

“You are late,” said Voldemort, his deep yet grating voice causing a shiver of disgust to run down Regulus spine. He hoped that Voldemort would think it was fear.

Regulus looked Voldemort in the eye as he said, “I’m sorry my lord, Severus and I got carried away talking about some of our assignments.”

Severus was smart, and he didn’t give Regulus a questioning look. Regulus could feel Voldemort prodding through his mind, using his destructive Legilimens ability to prove that Regulus was telling the truth. Regulus instantly provided the false memories of him and Severus, and Voldemort withdrew. Regulus tried not to shiver as he left his mind, however he couldn’t stop the slight twitch of his hand.

“How I miss the eagerness of youth.” His master sighed. Regulus kept his face impassive. How could he have once worshiped this man? How could he have once thought that he was fighting for a just cause? Regulus wanted to clean himself of these sins that wrapped around his soul like a black sludge. He wanted no more to do with this war. He vowed to end it as quickly as he could, by as many means possible.

“Today, I ask for one thing.” Voldemort eyed them with his red eyes, piercing their souls with his gaze. “I ask for a house-elf.”

Voldemort was first met with silence. A house-elf? Why would Voldemort be needing a house-elf? However, this was just the opportunity Regulus had been looking for. He had only been apart of the Death Eaters for a short few weeks and wasn’t trusted like Severus or the others, he could prove himself by giving up Kreacher. Plus, Kreacher was —to a fault— painfully loyal to Regulus after he had saved his life from Walburga.

Regulus rose, slowly as to not show too much eagerness. “I can provide my house-elf, lord.”

Voldemort gave him a vile smile. “Thank you, Regulus. I will be needing him shortly.”

Regulus nodded subserviently. “Yes my lord, I will call for him now.”

“This meeting is dismissed then.” Voldemort waved his hand lazily and everyone stood, bowing to their master and leaving the room.

Severus saddled up to Regulus. “You know the elf wont return.”

He will. Regulus thought, however he did not voice this to Severus. “I know, it’s a necessary sacrifice.”

Severus shrugged, no one really cared for an elfs life, they were easily replaceable after all. Apparently, Regulus was the exception. Kreacher, although yes was just a house-elf had been there for him after Sirius’s departure, had provided what solace he could in his capacity as a servant. Regulus was more grateful for Kreacher than what the elf was aware of.

Regulus left Severus and found an empty room in the east wing of the manor. He then called Kreacher to him, Kreacher appeared instantly.

“Master Regulus, you called?” Kreacher bowed.

“Kreacher, I have an important duty for you, Lord Voldemort has called for the use of a house-elf, and I have offered you.”

Kreacher’s eyes widened and Regulus contained the constrict of pain in his chest. “You will do as the Lord commands. However, I want you to return to me, Kreacher. Return to me however you can.”

Kreacher slowly nodded. “Yes master, I will return.”

Regulus knelt down to be on the same eye level as Kreacher and he lowered his voice. “I don’t wish for you to die Kreacher, I want you to live and tell me what you see, what you learn. Please, Kreacher.”

Kreacher’s eyes widened again, but this time in realisation and determination. “I will return to you Master, I promise.”

Regulus breathed out a breath of relief. “Thank you Kreacher. Now come, he is waiting.”

Regulus walked Kreacher back to the dining hall where Voldemort waited still, he was talking in parseltongue to his serpent Nagini, Regulus tried not to cringe from the large python. Showing fear was not acceptable here.

“Master, I have brought the elf.”

Voldemort looked up and gave Regulus a smile that would have once been charming, but now it made Regulus skin crawl with disgust.

“Thank you Regulus, you are providing an unforgettable service. What is the elf’s name?” Voldemort looked down to the slightly trembling Kreacher.

“His name is Kreacher,” said Regulus.

Kreacher got onto his knees and bowed his face to the floor. “This humble servant will serve you, Lord Voldemort.”

Voldemort’s mouth curved into a satisfied smile. “Thank you, Kreacher.”

Regulus was dismissed after that and the last image he had of Kreacher was of him turning back and giving Regulus a determined, yet oh so frightened look.

Regulus slipped away at the pretense of returning to Grimmauld Place, however really he was going to report to Dumbledore, to find out what their next course of action should be.

However, before he could walk through the gates of Malfoy Manor, someone grabbed his arm and he turned to find Wormtail staring at him with a red face. As if he had just run here.

“Wormtail, pleasure to see you again,” said Regulus with a smirk.

“You… you traitor,” Peter sneered.

Regulus snorted. “I think I should be calling you that no?”

Wormtail paled. “You’ll ruin the masters plans if you tell them, Regulus. He will kill you, kill us.”

“Oh Wormtail… You really believed my sob story did you? I haven’t joined their side, I’ve just made them believe I have.” Regulus watched as Wormtail slowly began to believe the lie. Good, this would make it all so much easier if he did.

“One hell of an actor you have become.” Wormtail laughed and slapped him lightly on the shoulder, Regulus could still taste the nervousness from Wormtail. Wormtail had only just learned how to play this game, and he was terrible at it.

Regulus straightened himself. “Well yes, I have had a long time to learn. Now I must be gone, I have an important meeting to attend.”

Peter’s eyes widened with realisiation and he nodded his head. “Sorry for holding you…” He hesitated. “We’re good, aren’t we?”

Regulus smiled wickedly. “Yes, we are good Wormtail.”

“You can call me Peter, I hate that name,” said Peter, distaste sharpening his tone.

“Peter than,” said Regulus in a finishing tone and he stepped through the gates of the Manor, Disapparating a moments later.

~

“I have offered my house-elf to him. I suspect that Voldemort thinks my Kreacher will die during this time. But he underestimates the loyalty Kreacher possesses. He won’t die and he will return to me with what I know to be some very valuable information. Information that he doesn’t want anyone else to know.”

Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled with this information, and he sipped his tea that had long gone cold. Regulus had denied the offer for a drink. He wanted to relay this information and be back to Grimmauld Place as soon as he could to await Kreacher’s return, possible return.

“This is some good news, are you sure that this Kreacher will come back? Voldemort could just out-right kill him if the elf learns too much.”

Regulus shook his head; he had already thought of this and he knew that Voldemort wouldn’t kill Kreacher. “I think you have forgotten how much of an offense it is to kill someone else’s elf, Dumbledore. When an elf dies, the Master will learn the death of the elf, it is in the binding contract that they share. Which means, we will know if he kills Kreacher. We could leave him on undisputed grounds, and he can’t risk losing the loyalty of the Blacks.”

Dumbledore nodded, understanding now. “I fear that I might know what this information will be, having some proof, however, will help us more than you know in this war.” He took another sip from his drink. “We could have Voldemort defeated by the end of next year.”

Regulus’s heart skipped a beat. “The war could be done in a year.” Did he dare to hope?

“Yes, if the information supplied is what I fear it to be.”

“And what do you fear it to be?” Regulus asked. He suspected that Dumbledore wouldn’t give him this information, the man was always so frustratingly elusive until you practically had to beg for the information.

“Horcruxes,” said Dumbledore.

Regulus felt his heart stop. Horcruxes. The darkest of magic that one could do; splitting your soul and placing them in objects in order to make oneself immortal. However, there was a price. A price of ones humanity. Regulus had only ever found one book that contained any sort of information and just reading of performing such horrendous dark magic had made him put the book back where it belonged in the Black library very quickly.

“How many do you think he has?” Regulus asked quietly. Dumbledore sipped his tea as he thought about how to answer.

“More than one, telling by the state of his lack of humanity. But how many, Merlin knows.”

“Fuck,” Regulus said quietly. More than one Horcrux? They were fucking doomed. If Kreacher returned with the location of a Horcrux than that would be brilliant. However, the thought of attempting to find the location and objects of the other Horcruxes. That seemed impossible. Especially, to do so in a year.

The door to their temporary meeting room of a kitchen in the Longbottoms house opened and Sirius stepped through. Dumbledore looked up over his shoulder, it seemed he had expected Sirius’s presence.

“I’ll give you two a moment. Regulus, thank you for the good work. Send for me as soon as you here back from… your informant.”

Regulus nodded his farewell and stayed sitting, Sirius approached cautiously.

“I heard from Alice that you were here.”

“Yes, I had an update for Dumbledore.”

“About what?” Sirius sat down in Dumbledore’s chair.

Regulus looked down at the table and fought back the need to bite his nails. “You will know in time,” he replied.

Sirius frowned and his eyes darkened with anger. “No one tells me anything around here, except what I need to know about assignments and you’ve come along, being told more than I am, and I’ve been apart of the Order for nearly a year now.”

“I’m a spy Sirius, which means it’s my job to know information.”

Sirius’ frown slightly lifted and Regulus felt stupid. He thought Sirius had come to ask how he had been for the past year. But no, it seemed he just wanted to complain about Regulus’s existence in the Order.

“I’m sorry Reg. Fuck…” He ran a hand down his face. “I just don’t know what to say or what to even think. I thought I had lost you. I mourned you, Reg.”

“Well here I am, alive and well,” said Regulus in a sarcastic tone.

“I know that… I knew you were alive…” Sirius gave him a small smile. “Well for the most part.” Sirius continued on speaking. “I mourned not the death of you, but the loss of you to their side. I thought you would come with me and when you said no. I… I thought well he can’t be saved now.”

Regulus felt his chest constrict and Sirius leaned back in his chair then groaned out. “Fuck, that is such a fucked-up thing to think. I know that now, I know I should have tried harder. Convinced you somehow; Merlin, I should have just fucking knocked you out and taken you anyway.”

“But you left,” Regulus said quietly.

“I left,” said Sirius, his voice breaking.

Regulus sighed; he knew he couldn’t keep continuing to blame his brother for all of this. He had played a role as well. “Sirius you don’t have to shoulder all the blame. Even if at the time it felt as if I had no choice, I should have trusted you more. You protected me from the day I was born until you could no longer bear the burden of that house. You did more than I think anyone else would have done.”

Sirius’s face tightened. “You’re my brother, of course I would do anything to protect you.”

Regulus huffed out a laugh. “You should know better than anyone, that blood is not always thicker than water. You should know that power, now that is what determines ones standard of life. Whoever has the greatest power is in control, and the rest of us must grovel for even a modicum of attention or safety. Their side is a chess board, but the rules can be changed at any moment by the king.”

“I know Reg I know, and I left you there to deal with that alone. I should have stayed. I should have protected you.”

“You would have died if you had stayed any longer. If not by them then by your own hand. You were rotting from the inside out. I may have resented you for leaving Sirius, but that did not mean I was blind to your suffering. I was young and I ignored it to fuel my own anger, to smother my pain. I know now that I can’t keep blaming you forever.”

Sirius’ eyes watered. “I love you, Reg. You know that right?” he croaked.

Regulus felt a burning prickle begin in the back of his eyes and he laughed wetly. “I haven’t heard someone say that to me… since… since before you left.”

“I’ll say it a thousand times to make you believe me, if I have to.” Sirius chuckled softly, tears falling freely down his face now, he made no attempt to wipe them away.

Regulus sniffed and quickly wiped a stray tear threatening to fall. “I think I might end up cursing you before you can do that.”

Sirius barked out a small laugh. “It would be worth it.”

Regulus took in a deep breath, trying to contain the fountain of tears from falling. His brother may be able to show emotion so easily in front of him. However, Regulus would not, old habits die hard.

Regulus cleared the lump from his throat. “I have to go Sirius. I’m expecting someone soon.”

Sirius sniffed and wiped his face with his sleeve, leaving it streaked red. Regulus stood up at the same time as Sirius.

“When will you come back?”

Regulus looked down at the wooden table, mapping the ring pattern of the oak. “I don’t know. The information I’m about to receive could change everything Sirius. Everything.”

Sirius stepped forward and put his hand gently on his shoulder. “Just don’t die yeah?”

Regulus looked up at his older brother and felt for the first time in a long time, a bloom of warmth in his chest.

“I’ll try.”

~

Kreacher scooped the last of the potion into Regulus’s mouth. He was somewhat aware that he was begging Kreacher to stop, hot tears burned down his face. Memories of old and young ran through his mind and ripped open wounds that had been carefully stitched shut.

Mother shouting at him, telling him he was a failure.

His father removing his belt.

Sirius high off weed and Merlin knows what else, trying to forget his existence.

Himself, crying silently in his room, praying to any deity above for release; for freedom, for peace.

Regulus swallowed the last mouthful and felt the potion’s effects beginning to ease. He callously wiped away the tears from his face and looked down at Kreacher.

“Water, I need water Kreacher,” he croaked, crawling on his all fours towards the shoreline of their small island.

“NO MASTER!” Kreacher screamed and he tugged on Regulus’s hands and pulled him away from that glorious, glistening water, murmuring to him the promise of blessed relief. Regulus looked back at Kreacher venomously. How dare he! How dare Kreacher stop him from satisfying the desert within him.

“Master there are Inferi in there, you know that Master, you made me promise that I wouldn’t let you drink from the water!”

“Well, I command you to let me drink, Kreacher I need water…” Regulus stared at the calm water. “KREACHER, I NEED WATER!”

Kreacher trembled. “Master I am sorry, but I cannot allow you to drink.”

Regulus rested himself against the stone basin in which he drunken the potion from. The cold stone bit into the fevered skin of his back and it slightly cleared the insanity of the potion. He looked up to the curved side of the bowl and grabbed the edge of it to stand. Slowly he stood up once more and looked down into the bowl where a dull gold locket, engraved with small emerald gems in a serpentine s-shape and hooked onto chain, glistened back up at him.

The Horcrux.

Regulus grabbed it with trembling hands and wondered what he should do. Voldemort mustn’t know that the locket had been taken. Still trembling, he took off the necklace hanging from his neck and stared down at the silver metal S and R combined. Sirius had gifted him this necklace to him on his thirteenth birthday, two months before Sirius had left for the Potters house.

He brushed his fingers over the last gift that his brother had given him then took out his wand and slowly transfigured it to look the same as the locket still in the basin. It took him much longer than he thought it would to transfigure his necklace, but eventually he himself couldn’t tell the difference between the two.

Then, feeling much calmer now, he took the locket out of the basin and placed it around his neck and put the fake copy in its place.

“Let’s go Kreacher,” Regulus said to his elf. Kreacher looked up to his master and relief washed over his face.

“Yes, Master Regulus.”

Kreacher used his magic to call the boat back over to him and they made their way through the water, Inferi hands reaching up to try and tip the boat, but Regulus repelled them away with his magic easily. The light streaming from the exit of the cave beckoned them on and they quickened the pace of the rowing until they broke through, and they both shielded their eyes from the light.

“We made it out, Kreacher.”

“Yes, master, we did.”

They pushed the boat to a shore, Regulus wasn’t sure if he was feeling up to the task of Disapparating so he kindly asked if he could Side-apparate with Kreacher, who happily obliged.

“Take me to the Longbottoms, Kreacher.”

“The Longbottoms sir?”

“Yes, oh right, you will need the address. Give me a moment.”

Regulus placed his wand to his head and squeezed his eyes shut, usually he would have to be gentle and careful with this process, but he didn’t have the time for that. He quickly found the memory of Dumbledore telling him the address and ripped the memory out as quickly and painlessly as possible. Only a small gasp released from his lips as he did so and then he put the memory into Kreacher’s head.

Kreacher’s eyes widened as the memory played through his mind, and then he stared back up to Regulus.

“The Longbottoms.” He nodded and then he grabbed Regulus’s hand, and they were gone.

~

When Regulus stumbled through the door and landed on his knees in the entrance hall of the Longbottoms cottage, he thought he might faint. So far, he had been ignoring the blasted dehydration he was feeling. However, now that he was safe, he couldn’t ignore it any longer.

“Master? What is wrong?” Kreacher asked stressfully.

“Water. Kreacher get me some water,” he croaked out. Kreacher popped away as soon as the words had left his mouth.

It was James that found him first. “Regulus? Are you okay?” He rushed to Regulus’s side and placed a hand on his back. Regulus relished in the warmth of it.

He didn’t think that he could speak, so he focused on keeping his breathing as even as possible and quelling the nausea beginning to rise up his throat.

James rubbed a hand over his back, doing more than he thought he was. Kreacher returned and shoved a cup in front of his face.

Regulus snatched it from his grasp and chugged the large cup of water down in one breath. “More,” he croaked, handing the cup back. Kreacher disappeared with a pop.

“What’s going on, Regulus?”

“I…I found it,” Regulus managed to say.

“Found what?”

“The way to end this war.”

Kreacher returned with more water and Regulus hungrily chugged it down. The cold locket seared against his chest and he reminded himself that he still had a job to complete. Feeling much better now, he stood up with legs that felt like jelly and turned to James concerned face.

“I need to find Dumbledore.”

“He’s out, preparing for students to return to Hogwarts.”

Fuck, he needed Dumbledore now. His shoulders sagged; damn he was exhausted.

“Regulus you look tired, how about you have a lie down and I’ll call for Dumbledore.”

Regulus really liked that idea, so he allowed James to lead him to a room and then to the bed. Regulus fell back into the soft comforter with a sigh and he curled himself underneath them.

“I’ll wake you when I hear from him,” James said, Kreacher placed a cup of water on the bedside table.

“Thank you,” said Regulus, staring into those endless brown eyes of James.

“Least I could do,” he smiled crookedly and then he left the room, closing the door behind him gently. Regulus closed his eyes and let one last tear fall.

Regulus gasped away and threw the sheets off him. He was sweating all over and shaking slightly, he had a nightmare. This nightmare, however, felt different. It felt as if it were happening to him—not something made up by his mind or something threaded together from his trauma.

Regulus felt the heavy locket on his neck and dark thoughts swirled through his brain. Well, darker than usual. A small knock came to the door and Regulus reflexively reached for his wand, but it was just James checking in on him, a small smile on his face.

“Just woke up did you?” he asked as he saw that Regulus was sitting up.

Regulus gulped down his panic and nodded his head. “Yeah,” he said quietly.

James’s eyebrows creased together. “Bad sleep?” he asked with concern.

The locket pulled down his shoulders. “Yeah, it wasn’t so great.”

James sat down gently on the edge of the bed and Regulus fought back the want to shuffle away. James touched his hand exposed lightly. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Regulus didn’t. However, now that Regulus knew that Horcruxes existed, Dumbledore would probably end up telling the Order, and Regulus for some reason, wanted James to hear the news from himself.

“Do you know what a Horcrux is?” he asked softly, staring down at the bed.

James withdrew his hand and gave Regulus a confused look. “A Horcrux?”

Regulus thus explained to James what a Horcrux and then, he started to tell him about the cave.

“I knew there was Inferi in the water and that I shouldn’t drink from it. That’s why I made Kreacher promise to not listen to a word I said after I drank the potion. I owe my life to Kreacher twice now.” Regulus itched for James' hand now; he desperately needed something to ground him as he relieved those moments again through his words, and oh, thank Merlin, because James seemed to know what he wanted and he took his hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Once the potion began wearing off and I was in charge of myself again. I saw the locket in the basin.” He reached towards his neck and pulled the chain, exposing the locket. “I had to transfigure my own necklace to make a fake and then I took it. Now, I just have to figure out how to destroy it. Which is why I need Dumbledore.”

“What did the potion do to you?” James asked, staring down at the locket.

“It made me relive the worst of my memories. It tore apart what mental defenses I had built to protect myself from them and made me remember them all over again. The potion shattered my mind into little pieces and let them fall between the floorboards, never to be found again.”

James squeezed his hand. “How about now? How is your mind now?”

Regulus thought, he could lie and say that he was fine. However, he was getting so sick of lies. “It feels as if I’m looking into a mirror, a mirror that is shattered and I can’t even make out my own face in it.” He paused. “It feels as if I’ve finally snapped.”

James leaned forward and pressed his fingers against his neck, Regulus looked into his too clear brown eyes, they were so clear, so… grounding. Regulus felt enveloped in them. Then, James hooked his fingers around the chain of the locket and took it off his neck.

“Feel better?” he asked.

Regulus did feel better, how did James know the locket was affecting him like that? Making him feel as if he did drown in that cave; Inferi pulling him to the depths.

Regulus nodded. “Yes, thank you.”

“It’s feeding off you Regulus and only leaving the darkness behind. Please don’t wear it for too long.”

“I can’t lose it. I have to keep it with me.”

“I know, just… take breaks, okay? Or let me wear it for you.”

Regulus shook his head, he would never let James wear it, this locket was not his burden to bear.

“No, you shouldn’t wear it James, I can be broken, I was always broken. But you… you must remain whole.”

James eyes darkened. “What if I want to wear it? What if I think that you aren’t broken as you say you are?”

Regulus looked away. “Then you don’t know me as well you as you think.”

James opened his mouth to say something, but then the door slammed open.

“You’re alive,” said Sirius, rushing towards Regulus.

James stood and gave Regulus a look that said this conversation isn’t over. Regulus looked to his brother and gave him a weak smile.

“I’m alive.”

~

Dumbledore stared at the locket and Regulus anxiously awaited for him to speak. It had been three days since he had taken the locket, and this was the first time that he could get Dumbledore’s attention. The locket was wearing him down slowly but surely and he needed to be rid of it before it consumed him wholly.

“So, how do I destroy it?” Regulus asked, his patience running out.

“I don’t know,” Dumbledore admitted.

Regulus gave Dumbledore a shocked look before he got control of himself. “Well, find out how, we’re running out of time.”

“I’m aware of that dear boy. Horcruxes aren’t so easily destroyed. Leave it with me for a few days whilst I find out how. Now, any more information to relay?”

Dumbledore placed the locket onto his desk and Regulus stared at it, itching to scoop it back up. He wasn’t sure why he was hesitant to let it go. He should be rejoicing in the fact that he no longer had to wear it around his neck anymore.

Regulus turned his attention to the waiting Dumbledore, and he cleared his head of all thoughts about the locket for the moment.

“They’re going to be attacking some squid’s house tomorrow. Make a scene, cause some trauma, all the usual.” Regulus paused and then said. “I’m worried about Severus. He seems to be getting closer and closer to the Voldemort with every day. He spends more time alone with him than any of us do. You said we might be able to save him, but I fear that he’s too far gone.”

“You underestimate his love for Lily then,” replied Dumbledore, a knowing twinkle in his eye.

“Yes, yes, you’ve mentioned that Merlin knows how many times. But Dumbledore, you aren’t there, you can’t see how obsessed he is becoming.”

Concern briefly flashed through Dumbledore’s eyes. “Keep a close eye on him, but I’m certain it will be fine.”

“I won’t take the blame for the death’s he causes, because you had faith in him,” Regulus said coldly.

Dumbledore’s eyes softened. “I know, you’ve done more than I ever thought you would.”

Regulus snorted. “Thanks for having faith in me then.”

Dumbledore opened his mouth as if to deny that’s not what he meant, but a searing pain ran up Regulus’s arm, the arm in which the mark lay.

“Fuck, I have to go he’s calling us.”

Dumbledore nodded. “Go, I will see you next meeting.”

“Yeah, see ya,” and Regulus was gone.

~

Voldemort sat stoically at the head of the table, everyone stared at him, anticipation thickening the atmosphere.

“There is a traitor among us,” he said, curling his bony fingers in front of him.

Regulus remained as still as possible.

“I have yet to figure out who this individual is, but what I do know. Is that he is sitting at this table right now.”

Everyone looked at each other, Regulus followed along, giving Severus a concerned look. Severus stared back at him impassively.

Why did he feel as if Severus knew?

“I want to meet you all individually. I will not have a traitor amongst us.” And then he dismissed them.

“Regulus, stay,” said Voldemort as Regulus made to stand.

He was fucked.

Regulus remained seated as everyone filtered out of the room, Severus was the last to leave, giving Regulus a slight sorrowful look and then he was gone through the door and closing it with a final click.

“I’m surprised that you suspect me the most Lord Voldemort,” said Regulus, might as well go in with fists blazing. If he was to die now, he wanted to at least die a man who had the guts to stand up for himself.

“Perhaps I shouldn’t be, you are the most likely candidate.” Nagini slithered up by Voldemorts side as he spoke, and Regulus couldn’t help but eye her warily.

“And why is that?” he asked, taking his eyes off the python and looking Voldemort in the face, fighting the urge to cringe.

“Your brother for one. He is on their side, no? I have heard that you two were practically inseparable growing up.”

Regulus calmed his stuttering heart and kept a straight face as he said to Voldemort. “My brother abandoned me when I was thirteen. He left me for those blood traitor Potters. I have no love left for him.”

Regulus wanted to gauge his own tongue out and throw it into flames, the ashes to be swept up along with his tears. How dare Regulus say that about James? Who had been nothing but kind to him since he joined the Order. Perhaps once he would have meant what he had said about Sirius, but now. Now, his heart was singing once again with the love he felt for his brother.

However, you had to do what you could to survive. He had promised to live, hadn’t he? He had promised Sirius. So, he would betray him and live.

Regulus felt the prodding of Voldemort in his mind, and he allowed him to see the memories of Regulus’s past, the past Regulus that felt betrayed and resentful about Sirius’s abandonment. The past Regulus that had cut Sirius from his life, that no longer considered him to be his brother.

Voldemort withdrew and gave Regulus an amusing smile. “Perhaps I was too hasty to question your loyalty,” he said.

“My lord, I am nothing but loyal too you,” Regulus said, the words tasted bitter on his tongue.

“Then I have a specific assignment for you, young Regulus. I need you to kill that werewolf of theirs.”

Regulus paled. “Remus Lupin?”

“Yes, he has infiltrated one of the werewolves packs and they won’t kill him. Their loyalty to their pack comes first. I need you to kill him.”

“But… how?”

“Do not worry, I have already asked Severus to help you with that. That boy is particularly skilled in poisons.”

“My lord, I don’t know how you think I can slip Remus Lupin a poison, I mean. I don’t even know him!”

Voldemort placed his elbows on the table and leaned forward. “I know you have joined the Order, Regulus. Now it’s time to prove who you are loyal to.”

Regulus's heart stopped. “My lord, I joined with the intention of helping you. I took advantage of my brother who has always been so soft. But they don’t trust me as much as I thought I would and they haven’t given me anything that is worthy of mention. I was waiting for something worth your time before I came to you.”

“If this is true, then you will kill the werewolf.”

Regulus gulped. “Yes, my lord,” he said and bowed his head.

“You’re dismissed. You have a week, if the werewolf isn’t dead by then… then Nagini is going to have a fun time consuming you.”

Regulus bowed once more and rushed out of the room, anger boiling just beneath the surface of his skin. He was going to kill Peter Pettigrew.

Severus had been waiting outside the door. “How did it go?”

Regulus glared at him. “I have to kill Remus Lupin within a week or I’m Nagini’s dinner.”

Severus recoiled slightly. “Why?”

“Because apparently he thinks I’m the traitor.”

“What?!”

“Oh, don’t play pretend, I know you’ve been lovingly talking in his ear for the past month. You fucking knew all along and you gave me no warning beforehand!”

Severus’s face hardened. “I… I’m not as good as Occlumency as you are Regulus, if I had told you beforehand, Voldemort would have known.”

Regulus pulled him into a dark corridor and placed a muffling charm over them, Severus’s own, actually.

“To think that Dumbledore thinks you can still be turned. To think that he has faith in you. But now, I have to kill an innocent man or give that monster my life.”

Severus paled. “You really are the traitor, aren’t you?”

“OF COURSE I AM!” Regulus yelled; the muffling charm wavered. “This is not some sort of movement, Severus. Voldemort is training an army to cause a genocide. These people are just using Voldemorts ‘beliefs’ to murder, rape and torture. Do you not see that? Voldemort wants to make a wizarding society full of pure-bloods only? No, that’s not what he wants to do. He wants to get rid of all those that have done him wrong under the guise of doing the greater good. Tom Riddle was a boy once, a boy who was beaten down time and time again by Muggles and wizards alike. He is not our saviour, he is not our leader. He is a broken man who turned into a beast, that will consume all and leave nothing in its wake.”

Severus stared at him, speechless. Regulus had gotten everything off his chest and just realised that he had brought himself to his own doom.

“I will not be killing Remus Lupin; really I should be killing you.”

Severus stiffened.

“But I won’t be doing that because I am not like the people here. I am leaving. Severus I may not believe the faith that Dumbledore has in you. But for once, I wish I did.”

Regulus undid the charm and rushed down the hall before Severus could get his wits about him and cast the killing curse before he escaped.

Regulus returned to Grimmauld Place and was met with Walburga at the door. “How did the meeting go?” she asked before he even had the chance to take his cloak off.

“It was fine,” Regulus said calmly. In reality, he wanted to go to his room and just break down crying.

Walburga gave him one of her glares. “Why are you lying to me?”

Regulus could not deal with this right now. “Mother, if you don’t leave me alone, I will Crucio you until you shut up.” Then he shouldered past her and ran up the stairs.

Regulus began packing his bags. Fuck he really hoped that Dumbledore would take him in, even if he didn’t have anything to offer him now. That was how relationships worked, Regulus understood. In order to be of use you had to have something to offer and without his place with Voldemort. Regulus had nothing to give.

He finished packing with a spell and called Kreacher to him, who had been in hiding since his return from the cave, they all thought he had died then, he was glad that was at least one thing that Voldemort had no figured out yet.

“Yes, master?” Kreacher said as he popped into existence in front of Regulus.

“Send a message to the Order, I have been exposed and I’ll be arriving shortly.”

Kreacher nodded and then he was gone. Regulus continued packing, that was when he heard his mother’s voice downstair and the front door open.

“Severus? Oh, come in dear boy.” Walburga said kindly. Merlin, she was such a fucking suck up that it made him ground his teeth. But then, he realised what Severus presence here meant. He had come to finish the job.

Regulus’s magic quickened and soon enough he had his pockets full of the belongings that he wanted to take with him. However, he couldn’t just Disapparate out of here, the wards wouldn’t allow it. He would have to sneak to the study and use the Floo.

Regulus opened the door very slowly, he could still hear his mother chatting away to Severus, unknowingly stalling him. Regulus slowly made his way to the study, thankfully it was upstairs or he would have been caught. Their voices called him to pause at the stairs.

“Sorry, Mrs Black, I’m actually here to see Regulus.”

“Oh of course, he’s just upstairs. Came back from the Malfoy’s in quite a mood, any idea what that is about?”

“He was given quite a difficult assignment; I hope you can understand.”

“Oh, right of course.”

Then he heard the creaking of the stairs. Fuck, he shouldn’t have stalled to listen, he needed to hurry to the office.

Regulus quickened his pace and entered the office, closing the door as quietly as he could just as Severus made it to the top of the stairs. He knew that Severus would be going to his room first, which gave him time to hurry to the Floo, he sprinkled some Floo powder into the orange flames just to make sure it was still working, the flames turned green.

Regulus sighed out with relief and then with a heart stopping moment realised one mistake. The Longbottoms house wasn’t connected to the Floo network.

“Fuck,” he said underneath his breath. He had to think of another way to get there. Perhaps Diagon Alley? It was crowded enough that he could make his way through without being spotted. But then again, with the increase momentum of the war, the streets had been getting quieter and quieter. Maybe not. But he was too stressed to think about other options, so he stepped into the flames and just as the door to the study was opening, he said Diagon Alley and threw the powder gripped in his hand. The last he saw was of Severus was him mouthing, ‘wait don’t go!’ but the flames engulfed him and he was left with only the image of Severus with a desperate expression on his face.

Regulus stepped out of the Floo into Diagon Alley, he stepped out of the building and was instantly met with a quiet street. Not a person in sight.

Something’s not right, Regulus thought as he quickly rushed down the street. He just needed to make it to the Apparation site… which was at the end of the alley. Regulus hurried as fast as he could, there was not a person in sight which was extremely unsettling, he felt as if he had walked straight into a trap and now, he was just heading deeper and deeper into it.

Regulus heard the whooshing of flames come from behind him, Severus had gone through the Floo.

He began running.

Regulus took his wand out and thundered down the empty alley, passing stores that were boarded up, some stores looked slightly singed, a battle had happened here. But what battle, he did not know. Regulus soon began hearing Severus running after him and he began running faster.

“Regulus stop!” Regulus heard Snape yell. It was a trap he knew; Severus was trying to get him to stop so he could capture him then and there and deliver him straight into the hands of Voldemort.

Regulus did not stop until he turned the corner and found himself facing several Death Eaters, most specifically Bellatrix Lestrange, his insane cousin.

“Oh it’s little Reggie!” Bella laughed, she stepped up towards him. “What are you doing here?” she asked.

Severus soon came up behind him, breathing hard.

“Oh dear, are you two having a little lovers quarrel?”

“What no… Bella what’s going on? Why does it look like a battle happened here?”

He fucking hoped Severus didn’t say anything. Severus remained silent and Regulus relaxed slightly with relief.

Bella’s face lit up with pleasure. “Because my dear cousin, a battle did happen! Want to see our little friends?” and she beckoned Regulus towards the Apparation building and opened the door for Regulus. Regulus was sure if he had not spent the majority of his life practicing his control over the expression of his emotions. He would have gasped then and there.

For there was James Potter and Remus Lupin, binded with a binding charm on the floor, purple bruises covered their faces and blood seeped out of a cut on James’s forehead. James looked like he had already had a taste of Bellatrix’s Cruciatus curse.

“We’ve caught ourselves some fresh meat,” Bella cackled, and Regulus gripped his wand in such a tight grip he wasn’t sure how it hadn’t snapped.

Severus was not as experienced as him just yet and he released a sharp exhale of breath.

“Oh, is this your first time Sev?” Bella asked, her smile crooked and maddening.

“Uh yeah…” Severus replied, he hadn’t taken his eyes off the two for a second since he had arrived. James, however, did not stare at Severus but at Regulus and for a heartbreaking second, he saw James give him a defeated look.

But they hadn’t lost, Regulus would get them out of this; he would give his life if he had too.

Bella turned to James and pointed his wand at him. “You just have to put some force behind it, that’s all, Crucio!”

James leaned against Remus and began writhing in pain, groans escaping through his lips.

Bella frowned. “He’s a tough one this is. I’m yet to hear his delicious scream.”

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Remus yelled, he tried to fight his binds, but Regulus knew it would be useless. He wouldn’t be able to break out of them.

Regulus put his hand on Bellatrix’s arm and lowered the wand. James stopped writhing and slumped against Remus; he had passed out from the pain.

“I think that’s enough now, Bellatrix.”

She turned to him, anger in her eyes. “What are you doing Reggie?” Then her eyes widened as if with realisation. “You want to join in on the fun?”

“No, no I don’t.” Then he raised his wand and said two words that he had promised himself he would never say. However, sometimes, these sorts of sins were necessary.

Regulus concentrated on all his hatred, all of his resentment, all of the things that he wanted gone from his life and funneled them through the spell. “Avada Kedavra!” He said as calmly as possible.

Bellatrix Lestrange fell to the floor, dead as soon as the spell had hit her.

Regulus knew there would be no one coming for a moment. Bella’s Death Eater lackeys were waiting outside the building, and they wouldn’t be coming in unless Severus raised the alarm.

“What did you just do?” Remus gasped, staring at the corpse of Bella, her eyes wide open with shock, her mouth slightly open as if she was just about to counter his spell. But there was no countering the Killing Curse.

Regulus blocked the spell that he had been expecting from Severus easily, he turned to him with an impassive expression.

“I cannot allow you to kill them Severus.”

“You… you killed her,” said Severus, his hand holding his wand shaking.

“Yes, she was going to kill my friends, I can’t allow her to do that.”

“Are you going to kill me?” Severus asked. How did someone a year older than him, someone closer to Voldemort than him, seem so much more innocent, so much more naive?

Regulus shook his head. “No, no I am not. But you are going to let us go.” He pointed his wand at Severus. “Do not make me fight you Severus.”

Severus lowered his arm. “What do I tell them?”

Regulus shrugged and looked down at Bella. She had caused him so much grief over his childhood and he was glad to find that he felt no sorrow for her death, no remorse.

“The truth I suppose, I’ve already shown what side I am on, no need to incriminate yourself any further. Although…” He gave Severus a soft expression. “I suggest you tamper with these memories of yours before Voldemort sees them, he wouldn’t agree with you sympathising with the enemy.”

Regulus turned to James and Remus —James blessedly unconscious still— and undid their bindings.

“Let’s go before backup arrives,” he said to Remus and then he leaned down and picked up the dead weight of James.

He turned back to Severus before he Disapparated. “Remember, someone else has faith in your Severus, now its about choosing what faith you want to believe in.” And then he was gone.

~

Regulus was startled awake; someone had touched his head.

“Have you been here all night?” James asked, his voice hoarse from disuse. James had received what medical help he could. But the thing with torture by Cruciatus was, it broke you in places medicine couldn’t fix. So, James had awoken once, simply saying Regulus’s name and then fell back unconscious. Regulus hadn’t left his side since. He must have fallen asleep whilst sitting next to his bedside.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he said with a yawn. James gave him a soft look.

“It’s okay, I bet you needed the sleep more than I did.” He chuckled softly.

Regulus filled his empty cup with his wand and handed it to James. James took it with a grateful smile and gulped down the water. Regulus watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down and he quickly averted his eyes before he began thinking things he shouldn’t be.

“How’s Moony?” he asked once he had finished his water.

“He’s fine. He wasn’t crucio’d as much as you and I think his Lycanthropy gives him some resistance to that sort of magic anyway.”

James relaxed back into the sheets now that he knew Remus was fine. Regulus wondered when he had begun thinking about all of them by their first names. He shook the thought away, there was no point in overthinking that sort of stuff when they were in the middle of a goddamn war.

“James, I need you to know something, incase… incase something happens to me.”

James sat up slightly, giving him a concerned look.

“What, what is it?”

“It’s about Wormtail… he’s the traitor James. He turned months ago.”

James paled. “Peter? No… you have to have the wrong person. Peter would never turn!”

“James, I know this is a lot to ask, you’ve known Wormtail nearly your whole life. But I need you to believe me, please,” Regulus begged. He couldn’t watch himself lose James because of his closest friend. He had risked too much to see it all come down to that.

“But it just doesn’t make sense, why would he turn?”

“Because he’s a coward James, oh don’t give me that look you can’t deny it. He’s a coward and he thinks you are losing this war. So, he went to Voldemort hoping that when all of this was done, he would live.”

James deflated into the bed and ran a hand down his face. “Who else knows?”

“Dumbledore. I told him as soon I found out and he told me to keep it to myself for now. He would figure out what to do with Peter when he could.”

“How did you stop Peter from telling Voldemort about you and the Order?”

Regulus smiled. “I have my ways, but it seems Wormtail’s fear of Voldemort won in the end, because I was exposed. I was given an ultimatum; prove my loyalty by killing Remus Lupin or get killed instead.”

James gave him a shocked expression. “He wanted you to kill Moony!?”

Regulus nodded. “Yes, I told him a few lies and said I would, just to get out of that room alive. But then I ran into Severus and I just couldn’t contain it any longer. I gave myself away to him, then the charade was up.”

“That’s why he was chasing you through Diagon Alley.”

Regulus nodded. “I think perhaps he didn’t want to kill me. He’s still loyal to Voldemort though, however I think we’ve left him with much to think about. We will see what decision he has come to the next we see him.”

James’s face fell. “Yeah, I guess we will.”

A soft knock came at the door, and it opened slowly, revealing a freckled face and long red hair. Lily.

“Oh, you’re awake!” she said happily and she strode into the room. Giving Regulus a wary but small smile.

“How are you?” she asked James. Regulus stood up, he would give them some space.

“I’m good,” he said to Lily. “Wait where are you going?” James asked the departing Regulus.

“I’ll give you two a moment alone,” he said with a small smile and then he closed the door behind him.

Oh, he was such a fool for fooling in love with someone who could never want him. Why did Regulus love to torture himself so much?

~

“How are you?” Sirius asked, handing him the cup of coffee. Regulus blew on the surface of the coffee and watched as the milky brown surface rippled.

“I don’t know. I feel like I should be feeling some sort of remorse, anything about killing Bella.” He took a sip of the coffee and relished in the burn as it made his way down his throat. “But all I can think is, the worlds a better place without her.”

“Well, you ain’t wrong, she was fucking insane.”

Regulus looked up at his brother, he looked more hagged than the last time had seen him, and a few more little scars littered his face.

“Doesn’t matter who she was, I killed someone Sirius.”

Sirius leaned against the countertop and gave Regulus an aged look. Sirius shouldn’t be giving Regulus aged looks; he should still have that mischievous sparkle in his eye and give the worse advice possible.

“I think who she was does matter, I’m not saying you should be playing some game of who lives and who dies. But at the end of the day, we are at war and you have to kill to live. That is what it means to be a solider Regulus. I thought you would know that by now.”

Regulus looked away from his brother. Fuck him and his good advice—he didn't want good advice—he just wanted Sirius to make some stupid joke and act like everything was fine, like he hadn't just killed their cousin.

Regulus could not keep running from himself anymore and Sirius knew that.

“I’m a murderer,” he whispered into the night.

“Yes, yes you are.”

“This wasn’t my first murder.”

“No,” Sirius said.

Regulus felt the tears falling down his cheek. “I didn’t want to kill that Muggle, Sirius. But I had to, he would have killed me right then and there. I would have died a coward… no I would have died as one of them.”

Sirius grabbed his shoulder and pulled him up against his chest, Regulus felt like he was six all over again, being consoled by Sirius after a beating from his father.

“You will always carry that guilt Regulus, but at least you have that guilt to remind you that you aren’t like Voldemort, Regulus. Voldemort has no guilt, no remorse, no pity. But you do. Let your guilt remind you that you are human, and humans make mistakes.”

“Killing someone shouldn’t be a mistake, Sirius,” Regulus croaked into his shoulder.

“No, but we do things we don’t want to when it comes to life or death. Trust me, I know.”

Regulus continued to cry for what felt like an eternity, until the tears dried up and he felt boneless with exhaustion.

“I think I’m going to go to bed,” he said to Sirius.

“Okay, oh and Dumbledore gave me this, he said he hadn’t figured out what to do with it, he said this will be your assignment for the Order.” Sirius took out something from his pocket and presented Regulus with the locket.

Regulus took it with a shaking hand. “Thanks.”

“This is important isn’t? Like end of war important?”

Regulus looked his older brother in the eye. “Yes.”

~

Peter had left the Order, he had been exposed, there was no point in him returning. Regulus wish he could have killed him. But no, he wouldn’t do that to the Marauders, it was not his right to kill Peter. It was theirs.

~

Regulus had deduced that Voldemort had probably made all of his Horcruxes by now. Besides the one he had; it was now a matter of figuring out how many he had made. Dumbledore said it would be less that ten, but more than four. So, he had the locket; then there was the gauntlet ring he always wore; that would be another; and Nagini was most definitely the third. Fuck, this would be easy if he was still a spy. For now, he could work with the Horcruxes he knew existed and go about destroying those.

Now to figure out how to destroy a Horcrux.

He was pacing in Dumbledore’s makeshift office at the Longbottoms; Regulus had been staying with the Longbottoms since bing exposed and he couldn’t be more thankful. Although Alice and Frank kind of freaked him out, he had never experienced a happy married couple before and he wasn’t even sure how they stayed so happy even with all this war and death around them.

“I’ve tried everything to destroy it and nothing is working. I need something stronger, something that could destroy anything, it can’t be a spell, it has to be a substance, or some sort of unbreakable metal.”

“Perhaps dragon fire?” Dumbledore offered.

“That would work, but how am I supposed to get access to dragon fire without killing myself in the process.”

Dumbledore nodded, understanding Regulus’s meaning. Then his eyes widened with an idea.

“What crazy idea do you have now?” Regulus sighed, how was this senile man leading them all? He was insane.

“You said an indestructible metal?”

“Yeah… well it’s just a theory.”

“Would Goblin metal work?”

Regulus felt like slapping himself. Why had he never thought of that! Goblin metal, or more specifically swords made by Goblins before they had become enslaved in their banks had been the most indestructible weapons to have existed. However, getting a hold of such a weapon was near impossible.

Thankfully, Dumbledore was crazy enough to make the near impossible happen.

“I’m guessing you can get your hands on some Goblin metal?”

“You would be correct, give me a few days, until then keep researching ways to destroy the locket. I’m sure there’s more than one way to do so.”

Regulus nodded and took the end of the conversation as his dismissal and he left the study. Regulus began to head to his room, he had a lot of research to continue. He itched to be able to access the Black Library, he would be able to find this information all so much easier.

A knock came at his door and James peeked his head through. “Oh hey, you’re still up.”

Regulus nodded and continued to scribble on his parchment.

“I brought some food, thought you might have forgotten to eat again.”

Regulus stomach growled at mention of food and he begrudgingly placed his quill down. He should probably eat before he passed out from hunger.

“Thanks,” he said to James and took the plate of sandwiches from him.

“How’s the research going?” James asked, sitting beside Regulus in the chair that James had transfigured long ago. James spent a suspicious amount of time with him when he wasn’t out on assignment. He had long ago given up on wondering why.

“I got a breakthrough, think we figured what might be able to destroy them,” he said after he had swallowed a bite of the ham and cheese sandwich, James had even gotten the right amount of mayo on them.

“That’s amazing!” James said excitedly.

Regulus took another bite of his sandwich and let James feel all excited until he took him down a peg. “Yeah, but it’s not certain and I still haven’t figured out what all his Horcruxes are. I’m guessing I’m missing two.”

“We’ve got time, don’t we?”

“James… you’re about to go into hiding at Godrics Hollow with Lily aren’t you?”

James deflated. “She’s expecting,” he said quietly, almost guiltily.

Regulus felt his heart shatter, the pieces never to be put back together again. But he forced himself to put a smile on his face. “That’s good, isn’t it? You’ve told me once before how much you wanted to be a father.”

“Yeah… but.” He gave Regulus such a desperate look that Regulus almost pitied him.

“James… I don’t know.” Regulus ran a hand down his face. “I don’t know what is going on between us, honestly, I’m so consumed by this race to the end that I can’t even fathom a future right now. And you don’t deserve that. You deserve to think about the future and if you have to do that with Lily then… that’s what I want for you too.”

James looked as if his heart had just broken too. “But there could be something if there wasn’t a war. We could have an us.”

Regulus didn’t want to cry; he had done enough of that. “Perhaps,” he said, his voice breaking.

James leaned forward and placed both his hands on Regulus cheeks, caressing his face in his palms, his thumb wiped away a traitorous tear.

Then he leaned forward and softly placed his lips on Regulus’s. Regulus felt himself stiffen; he had never kissed anyone before. However, it didn’t take long for him to relax and to let James lips move against his. Regulus sighed and relaxed even further, opening his mouth when James flicked his tongue against his bottom lip.

Their tongues met and the kiss deepened, heating up the longer they wrestled for dominance. Regulus moaned quietly as James moved in tandem with him, this seemed to flick some sort of switch in James and suddenly he was in control; his hands moving from his cheeks down to his neck and then down his stomach, stopping at his sternum.

Regulus surfaced for some air. “James,” he said softly. They shouldn’t be doing this. James had Lily now, but then his hand lowered further.

“Regulus,” he said hoarsely.

Regulus became James’s then.

Regulus allowed James to lead him to his bed and he fell back onto it, James on top of him, kissing and sucking down his neck, nudging the neckline of his shirt lower.

Regulus took it off and allowed James full permission to explore. James’ lips brushed against his nipples and Regulus arched his back, chasing after that sensation.

James lips perked up into a mischievous smile. “Like that do you?”

Regulus only huffed in reply. But he grabbed James by the back of the hair and pulled him into a bruising kiss.

“Don’t tease me,” he said as he pulled back. James eyes darkened with hunger.

James instantly swooped down and swirled his tongue against his nipple until it was hardened and sensitive. Regulus couldn’t help but whine when James lightly nipped on it. Then he moved onto the other nipple until Regulus was squirming beneath him, hard with need.

“James, please,” he said, tugging on James’ hair.

James looked up and latched his lips onto his collarbone, sucking and biting until he was satisfied with himself. Finally, he began to move lower, trailing his lips and his five o’clock shadow down his chest and abdomen, stopping at his waist.

He looked up at Regulus, his eyes softening. “Are you okay?” he asked.

Regulus’ chest rose and fell with his rapid breathing; he felt as if he might die, but instead he said, “Yes.”

“Want to keep going?” James asked, curling his finger underneath his waistband.

Regulus should say no, he should think about the baby that James was going to have, the family that he could be ruining. However, when he looked down to James swollen lips and eyes nearly black with lust, he couldn’t.

“Yes,” he said breathlessly, and James quickly unbuttoned his jeans and in one swift motion, had him left in his briefs.

“Fuck…” James groaned and his eyes racked down Regulus. “You’re so gorgeous. You don’t know how long I have been thinking about you like this, so fucking delicious and ruined underneath me.”

Regulus had never been so hard before. He lifted his hips up, looking for any sort of friction for some relief.

James placed his hand on his hip to keep him still. “Stay still for me. Can you do that for me, love?”

Regulus felt all the air leave his lungs, he swallowed the saliva in his mouth and nodded. He would do anything James said.

“Good.” James smiled and began pulling down his briefs, Regulus lifted his hips to help him.

“Have you done this before?” James murmured as he slipped the briefs free, his erection springing out, Regulus sighed with relief.

“No,” Regulus said hoarsely, suddenly feeling nervous. James was obviously so much more experienced than him.

“Just tell me when I need to stop, okay?” said James and then he breathed on Regulus’ penis and Regulus was sure he was going to cum.

“Stay still for me, remember?”

Regulus nodded and James smiled before he erotically licked a stripe up the length of his dick.

Regulus kept incredibly still and a moan escaped his lips. He watched as James licked up his length again before moving his head to press his lips against the tip. Regulus knew how to control himself, but James was pushing his limits with all of this teasing, he desperately just wanted to grasp James by the head and push himself into his mouth. However, he wanted to be good for James, he wanted to listen.

“You’re being so good,” James murmured against his tip. “I think it’s time to reward you.”

“Yes please.” Regulus groaned and James finally, fucking finally, took Regulus into his mouth.

Regulus couldn’t help the slight twitch of his hips upwards, but James must be getting to his limits to because he only gave Regulus a squeeze of warning before lowering his mouth and taking Regulus deeper. Regulus didn’t want to contain the noises that were coming out of his mouth, he could tell how much James loved it. So he moaned and groaned and whined as James began swirling his tongue around his foreskin and then made his way to the base of his dick.

James began working Regulus with a tempo now, bobbing his head up and down. The teasing game was over, now it was time to reach the finish line.

Regulus’s breath quickened and he felt his balls begin to tighten, a pressure growing in his lower abdomen.

“I’m close,” he gasped out. James began to work quicker, moving the hand that was wrapped around the base of his length to squeeze his balls.

“Fuck, James!” Regulus cried out as the pressure snapped and he came so violently that when he squeezed his eyes shut, he saw stars.

James continued to work Regulus slowly in his mouth until he was completely drained and beginning to soften.

James released Regulus with a pop and gave him a soft smile. “So, how was that?”

“Fucking magnificent,” Regulus said, reaching up and pulling James towards him, roughly connecting their lips. Regulus could taste his salty release in James’s mouth and it only made him hunger to return the favour. He moved his hands to James shoulders and then pushed him, flipping their positions so that now he was on top of James.

“Why in Merlin’s name, do you still have clothes on?” Regulus grumbled, he quickly got James’s shirt off and latched his lips onto the side of his neck, wanting to leave his own mark on James. He wasn’t really sure how to give a hickey since he had never given one before. But he remembered how James had sucked a lightly bit in order to bruise the skin. So, he did the same until James was moaning with pleasure and wrapping his fingers around the hair at the nape of his neck.

Regulus released the skin from his lips and moved to the other side of his neck, doing the same until he was satisfied with the blooming bruise.

“Leaving your mark, are you?”

“Yes,” Regulus said. For even if James was only his for the night, he at least wanted James to remember until the bruises disappeared, never to be replaced.

Regulus moved down his chest and breathed on a nipple for a moment, but he was growing impatient, and he wanted to give James the same pleasure and release that he had experienced. So, he gave it one quick nip with his teeth until it made James gasp and then he moved on down to the waist of his jeans.

He looked up at James then, who was looking down at him with an expression that took all of Regulus’s doubts away. He fiddled with the buttons of his jeans for a moment until James eventually helped him slip his jeans off, leaving him in black briefs.

“I’ve never done this before, just so you know,” Regulus said nervously.

“I know, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” James so softly, bringing his hand up and caressing his cheek in his palm.

Regulus shook his head slightly. “No, I want to… just don’t laugh if I do something wrong.”

James’s face softened. “I would never, love.”

Regulus’s breath caught in his throat, then James blushed slightly. “Sorry you probably—”

Regulus interrupted him. “No, I like it, please don’t stop.”

James relaxed, a smile lifting his lips. “Okay, I won’t.”

Regulus slipped down James briefs and watched as his dick, considerably larger than his own sprung free.

“Merlin,” Regulus murmured, but he wasn’t going to be discouraged, with one hand he wrapped it around the base of James’s dick and then, just as James had, licked a stripe up the length. James kept still, but a moan left his lips which was all the encouragement that Regulus needed to jerk his hand up and down once and then once more, electrifying himself with James’s moans before he pressed his lips against the tip and then opened his mouth. James stretched his mouth open the further he went down, not filling fully confident yet, he only managed to take in half of his length before he felt his gag-reflex kick in.

“You don’t have to push yourself,” James said, fisting some of Regulus hair as he talked.

Regulus would have spoken if his mouth was not currently full of dick, so instead he began moving his head up and down in reply. James’ head fell back onto the pillows and he gripped Regulus’ hair tighter. Regulus made sure to keep his teeth tucked behind his lips as he bobbed up and down, using his tongue to cover more surface of his length and to pull more moans from James’s lips.

“Fuck, don’t stop,” James breathed out huskily. Regulus had no plans of stopping whatsoever, he quickened his pace, dragging his tongue right to the tip, pressing against his frenulum and then bobbing back down, going as low as he could. Tears began to spring from the corner of his eyes.

“Fuck! Regulus fuck, fuck, fuck…” James began rambling then, saying so many dirty things underneath his breath the closer and closer he got to his orgasm. Regulus was hard again and he thought that he might come just from hearing James lose control like this.

Regulus, remembering how James had massaged his balls and caused his undoing, brought his other hand that was rested against James’s hip and began to gently massage his balls, he could feel them tightening underneath his grip until soon enough, James bucked his hips up, slamming the tip of his dick against the back of Regulus throat and releasing down it. Regulus gagged but did not release James until he was quivering from over-stimulation, then Regulus released him.

Regulus licked the spit from the side of his mouth and let James pull him up. James kissed him until Regulus was practically rutting against his thigh.

“Not out of juice yet?” James smirked.

“Please.” Regulus whined and James lowered him onto his back and kissed him once more.

“Do you want me to just make you cum, or do you want more?” James asked carefully. Regulus thought about it, did he want more? Did he want to give James all of him tonight.

Yes, yes, he did.

“More, I want more.”

James nodded and he pecked him on the lips then grabbed his wand from the bedside table. He moved back down to Regulus erection, but instead of giving him the relief Regulus so desperately needed, he murmured a spell with the tip of his wand pointing at this hand and then looked Regulus in the eye.

“Bend your knees for me, love.”

Regulus did as he was told and spread his knees apart. James brought his unlubed hand up and massaged his left cheek, before squeezing it and spreading it open. First, he pressed his thumb against the tight band of skin leading to Regulus’s entrance, testing the waters. Regulus held his breath as he figured out how he felt about this foreign feeling. James pressed his thumb further until the tip of it slipped through.

“Oh,” Regulus said breathlessly, he was already feeling the stretch of it, but the lube was helping.

“Okay?” James asked.

“Yes,” Regulus said. James began pressing his thumb further in until Regulus was beginning to feel some warmth pool into his abdomen. James then took his thumb out replaced it with his middle finger, pressing it slowly all the way in to the knuckle.

“James.” Regulus sighed and for the next five minutes, James began working him slowly open with his fingers. Thrusting them in and out, adding more fingers the further Regulus relaxed. Soon enough Regulus was moving his hips with the rhythm of James’ fingers.

“James.” Regulus moaned as he hit that sensitive spot once again. “I’m ready, put it in me already.”

James smirked. “You’re going to have ask better than that.”

Regulus glared at him. “Put your dick inside of me… please.”

James licked his lips and hurriedly lathered his hand in more lube, he stroked himself twice to lubricate his dick and then he positioned himself at the entrance of Regulus hole.

“Ready?” he asked.

Regulus nodded. “I’ve been ready for the past bloody two minutes.”

James smiled and with one hand on Regulus inner thigh and one hand on himself, he sunk his hips down and guided the tip of his dick through the band of skin at Regulus’s entrance.

Regulus gasped out, first he was met with the slight pain of his body resisting the foreign feeling, but then he relaxed as pleasure quickly began to overtake the pain. James continued to move forward until he was fully seated.

“How are you feeling?” James asked, his voice breathless.

“Fine, fuck, more than fine.” Regulus lifted his hips to get more friction and a moan left his lips.

James gripped his hips. “What did I say about saying still?” he growled. Regulus instantly stilled.

“Sorry,” he mumbled; however, James did not seem to be in the forgivable mood anymore and he snapped his hips back, pulling out to the tip.

“Not good enough,” he said deeply and then he slammed his hips forward, Regulus let out a high-pitched whine.

James pulled back and did the same thing again, then he began a brutal pace until Regulus was at James’ mercy. He was pinned beneath him and the only thing he could do was hold onto the headboard as moan after moan left his lips, leaving his throat raw.

“James’ touch me please,” Regulus begged.

James slowed down to a more relaxed pace, setting Regulus nerves on fire.

“No, you are going to come like this, I know you can.”

Regulus whined, no he couldn’t, had the sex made James go mad?

“James please,” Regulus begged again. James only sped up the thrusts of his hips in reply.

It took longer without James touching him, longer than Regulus wanted, but soon enough he got lost in the haze of pleasure and he did not care. His brain felt as if it were floating on a cloud of pleasure, and eventually Regulus thought that he didn’t want this feeling to end.

Then that familiar pressure began growing in his abdomen.

“James.” Regulus gasped. “I’m close, fuck I’m so close.”

James leaned down, deepening the angle and pressed his hand into Regulus, their fingers locking with each other.

“You’ve got this love, you’re so close,” James whispered into his hear, the sound of slapping skin filling the air. “You’re so close, cum for me Regulus, you can do it.”

Regulus’s mouth opened in a soundless cry, and he began to thrust his hips in time with James, fuck he was so close. He could feel his orgasm coming, crashing into him like a wave breaking on a cliff. Then he fell off the edge.

Regulus cried out and his hips began jerking in broken thrusts as he came, his cum spurting over his own chest and even onto James. James quickened his pace, chasing his own release.

“Fuck, shit. I’m so close Regulus,” he grunted into his ear and then he was cumming too, Regulus could feel his hot cum spurting into him. James stilled and then he pulled out of Regulus, leaving him achingly empty.

James collapsed onto his side next to Regulus and pulled him into his chest. They were both breathing hard and they stayed quiet as they collected their thoughts.

“That was–” Regulus began.

“Mind blowing,” James finished.

“Yeah,” Regulus said with a breathless laugh.

James found his wand and cast a cleaning charm on them and then he pulled Regulus close to him, Regulus laid his ear on his chest, listening to his thundering heartbeat.

“When do you leave for Godric Hollow?” Regulus asked. He didn’t want to ruin the mood, but he had to ask. He had to.

James squeezed him tightly.

“Can I tell you the story from the beginning?”

Regulus nodded; he was too afraid to trust his voice.

“When you arrived at Hogwarts, all I thought was, oh that’s my best friends little brother but the more I got to know you over the years the more I thought that’s Regulus and then in seventh year it turned into I want to fuck him, I want him to be mine.”

Regulus breathed in sharply, his heartbeat quickened.

“But then the war broke out, you were already so distant after Sirius came to live with us and I just… I didn’t know how to reach out to you. To tell you I still thought about you, that I hoped you didn’t die. That I wanted you.”

“I thought about you too, you know?” Regulus said quietly.

“You did?” James said softly.

“Yeah, but it was too late by the time I realised what I was really feeling, when I realised it wasn’t just some teenage hormones… that I… I wanted you to be mine too.”

James laughed quietly. “We’re hopeless, aren’t we?”

Regulus sighed. “I’m afraid so.”

James chuckled again. “Let me finish my story. Hm where was I? Right, me wanting to reach out to you. So I guess at some point I just… I don’t know, I gave up. About a year ago actually. Lily and I, we sort of just gravitated towards each other, trying to find some sort of comfort in all this shittiness. In the beginning it was just sex, just finding comfort in each other’s bodies. But then she began growing feelings. Do you want to know what I said to her. I said, ‘I’m sorry but my heart has already been taken’.”

Regulus choked back a sob.

“But then about a month ago she came to me and she said that she’s expecting and that the baby is mine.” James laughed but there was no humour in it.

“But Regulus, I need you to know I’m going with her for the baby, not for her. I don’t want her, I want you.”

Regulus felt a tear roll over the bridge of his nose. “Don’t make me believe I can have you, James.”

James lifted his head by hooking his finger under his chin. “But you already do.” And then he kissed him.

~

They had one last week together before James moved into Godric Hollow with Lily. Their final night together he covered every inch of his skin with love bites and left every muscle of his aching. He wanted Regulus to remember who he belonged to whilst he was gone.

They stood outside the Longbottoms cottage, all of them saying their farewells. Regulus wasn't sure how he was holding himself together. 

“I’m yours, always,” Regulus whispered to him as he gave him a hug goodbye, his arms and back ached, but it was a comforting pain.

“And I’m yours,” James whispered back, squeezing him tightly before releasing him.

James cleared his throat and gave his friends one final nod of farewell and then he and Lily Disapparted, leaving Regulus feeling hollower than he could ever remember feeling.

Chapter Text

I have always known you,

You have been there in my mind.

But now I understand you,

And I will not be part of your designs.

The Fight to the End

Trying to figure out what all of Voldemort’s Horcruxes were became damn near impossible. But eventually Regulus had a steady list that he felt pretty confident about: Nagini, the Gauntlet Ring (which he had learned from Dumbledore what it was actually called), a diary that had been given to Lucius Malfoy (this was information that he had to torture out of a Death Eater in Lucius’s squad), and lastly, the locket. Dumbledore had told him many times that he believed there had to be at least two more Horcruxes, something about a hunch. Crazy old man and his hunches.

Regulus was scribbling away at a letter to be sent to a connection in Europe, he was not quite a Death Eater, but he was an old friend of the Blacks and was willing to ask some of his own Death Eater connections some questions that Regulus needed answers to; when a knock came at his door.

“Come in!” Regulus called out, it was Kreacher that opened the door.

“Master Regulus, Master Dumbledore has called for you.”

Regulus put his pen down and hurriedly got up, had Dumbledore finally gotten a hold of some Goblin metal? He quickly placed the locket on over his head and hurried out of his room.

He rushed down the hall towards the study in the Longbottoms house. Dumbledore had made it his makeshift office for the time being. The Longbottoms were far more accommodating than Regulus would ever be, and he was glad for it, he might be dead on the street otherwise. Regulus didn’t bother knocking on the door as he arrived to the study, and he waltzed straight into the room, his eyes instantly fell the down to the dagger held gently in Dumbledore’s hands.

“You did it!” Regulus said excitedly and he hurried to Dumbledore, already itching to take the dagger.

Dumbledore gave him a tired smile. “Indeed I did.” And he handed the dagger hilt first to Regulus.

“How did you manage to get this?” Regulus asked, turning the dagger over in his hands with astonishment. It was a beautiful dagger, small blue sapphires set in the base of the hilt and the hilt was bound in a beautiful brown leather that looked as if it had never been used before. The dagger was shaped like a sword, straight and double edged, the glistening silver metal reflected the orange candlelight, making it look like flames danced along the blade. Regulus was in awe.

“This old wizard still has some connections left,” Dumbledore said. “Now, the locket?”

Regulus took the locket out from underneath his shirt and handed the locket to Dumbledore, who he placed it onto his desk, than he turned to Regulus. “I think you should have the honours.”

Regulus gulped. He really hoped that this would work, he didn’t like the idea of hunting a dragon down and using dragon fire to destroy the Horcruxes. He lifted the point of the dagger above the locket and then thrusted it down, the tip embedding into the serpent S and a puff of dark smoke released from it.

“I think… Merlin I think that worked!” Regulus exclaimed staring down at the damaged metal.

“Yes, yes, I think it did,” said Dumbledore, his voice dripping with relief.

“One down… approximately three more to go.”

“Actually, there are six Horcruxes in total,” Dumbledore said as he picked up the broken locket, he waved his wand over it as Regulus digested this information.

“What? There really is two more?”

“Yes, I managed to collect some memories of those who were close with Hepzibah Smith, Tom Riddle murdered her and stole the locket and the Hufflepuff from her. This was before he disappeared for ten years.”

“And the last?” Regulus could not handle the anticipation.

“The last is the Diadem of Ravenclaw, I thought perhaps Tom would like to make his next Horcrux something else from Hogwarts and the diadem, a precious artifact that had not been seen for centuries would be the perfect candidate.”

“How did he find it?” Regulus asked.

“I simply asked Helena Ravenclaw, or perhaps you would know her as the Grey Lady.”

Regulus gave him a shocked expression. “You mean the ghost of Ravenclaw that never speaks?”

“She speaks, but rarely to those outside of Ravenclaw. It took bit of magic to uncover the memories —ghosts are tricky things— but I found a memory of young Tom Riddle, charming her for the whereabouts of the diadem. He found it and presumably made it a Horcrux, where it could be however. I do not know.”

“Okay, well we have a full list then… hopefully.”

“Yes, I think this would be all of them. Even Voldemort knows he could not have gone further than six, I don’t think any wizard in history have gone past one. Let alone six…”

“Its unthinkable,” Regulus finished.

Dumbledore nodded. “Quite.”

“Okay, so what now. Has my assignment changed to hunting these things down and destroying them?”

“I would never assign this for just yourself Regulus, I plan on assigning your brother and Remus.”

Regulus was relieved by this fact. “Okay, but aren’t they away on separate assignments at the moment?”

“They are, I’ve already sent letters to call them back; they’ll be here by the end of the week. I suggest you use that time to rest up. You’re going to need all of your energy reserved moving forward.”

Regulus nodded, but he wasn’t sure how he was going to relax, he might have to take some Dreamless Sleep for the rest of the week.

“The game is on,” Regulus declared.

Dumbledore smiled. “Indeed.”

~

“So, tomorrow I’m going with Sirius and Remus to try and find a way into Malfoy Manor, Kreacher can’t break the wards, but he can get through them and I reckon Severus is on the precipice of turning. If I can just talk to him one more time, I’m sure I can convince him to help us,” Regulus said excitedly into the mirror to James who was listening on the other end. Usually, James and Sirius used these two way communication mirrors, but Regulus had managed to convince his brother to let him use his for a while. Thankfully, Sirius had given it to him with little questions asked.

“That sounds pretty dangerous Reg,” James said with a frown.

Reg sighed. “I know, I know. But I’m familiar with the property and the wards. I just need to get Severus’s attention.”

“Promise you won’t be too reckless?”

Regulus smiled fondly. “Of course I won’t be. We made a promise didn’t we?”

James returned his smile. “Yeah, we did.”

With James all caught up now on the situation, Regulus wasn’t really sure what to talk about and the next words he said tumbled out of is mouth with little thought. “How’s Lily?” he asked, then he instantly regretted it.

James instantly frowned. “She’s okay. She hates being cooped up in here whilst everyone is out fighting. Did you know that Alice is expecting? But she’s still on assignment. Lily doesn’t understand why she has to go into hiding, when she’s not even in her second trimester yet.”

“Alice is older and more experienced though.” Regulus’s eyes widened and he quickly regretted what he had said, he hadn’t meant to cause offense. “Not that Lily isn’t as good as Alice! But… oh I don’t know. I’m not good at understanding people,” he babbled, looking away sheepishly.

James chuckled lightly. “No, you’re okay, I know what you mean. I think you’re right, they’re worried about how young she is and then her out on the field? She’ll just ending being more of a burden than a help.”

Regulus sagged with relief, glad that James had understood what he was trying to say.

“Besides going stir crazy… everything with the baby…” Regulus hesitated, “Is okay?”

James nodded. “Yeah everything is fine.” Then he sighed. “Honestly, Lily is still trying to… convince me that it would be better for the baby if they grew up with their parents together. She keeps saying that we can make us work. But… it would be cruel to try with Lily if my heart were elsewhere.”

Regulus felt his chest tighten; for the month that James had been gone, he had contemplated the idea of leaving James. Breaking his own heart to allow James the opportunity to be a father and a husband. To have his family be one. However, he couldn’t yet the muster the courage to let go of James. His selfish side still had its grip on James.

“James…” Regulus began, but he didn’t know what to say. He was truly speechless.

“It’s fine, I’ll manage. You just stay safe out there for me, okay?”

Regulus’s lips curved into a small smile, the smile he kept just for James. “Of course.”

“James, can you come here!” Regulus heard Lily call and James looked away from the mirror and over his shoulder.

“Coming, give me a minute!”

“I’ll let you go,” Regulus said, wishing he could have longer with James.

“Okay, I’ll talk to you soon. I miss you,” James said hurriedly and he dropped the mirror, the incantation ending.

“I miss you too,” Regulus replied to his reflection. He wished he could have said I love you instead. But he was afraid of those words. So deadly afraid of them.

~

Regulus awaited underneath James’s invisibility cloak for Kreacher to return. Sirius and Remus waited under concealment charms a block away, in case backup was needed. Regulus hoped that it wasn’t.

Malfoy Manors large gates had never looked so overbearing before and he anxiously stared at them, waiting for them to open with hopefully a returning Kreacher and a trailing Severus Snape, due to the wards he couldn’t see anything past the black gates but sprawling gardens, they wouldn’t allow him to see any activity until they were open.

Regulus kicked a rock impatiently as he waited and watched as it skidded across the packed dirt, stopping right at the edge of the gate, which was beginning to open. Regulus held himself incredibly still, clutching the cloak close to himself and making himself aware of his wand in his other hand.

He almost sighed with relief to see that it was Severus, but then Sirius’s voice ran through his head, make sure he’s not trying to get you caught!

Regulus didn’t reveal himself as he said, “Did you come alone?”

Severus swiveled in the direction that Regulus’s voice had come from. “Regulus? Where are you?”

“Answer the question, Severus!” Regulus said firmly.

Severus stepped fully out of the wards and closed the gate. “I’m alone,” he said carefully.

Regulus breathed easier and he slipped the cloak off, revealing himself. Severus quickly masked his surprise and gave Regulus a wary look.

“What do you want? I’m only meeting with you because I still consider you to be a friend.”

“I’m here to get an answer, Severus.” Regulus stepped towards Severus and hardened his voice. “I am asking you what faith you decided to trust in,” he said.

Severus’s face became pinched. “I am no traitor.”

“No. Rather I believe that you are, you can’t forget her can you? You can’t even think about hurting her; that makes you a traitor Severus.”

Severus’s face darkened with anger. “Don’t bring her into this.”

Regulus shook his head. “I think I shall. Sev, you can’t stay with them. What if they kill her? Are you going to shoulder that guilt forever? What if he makes you kill her? He loves to manipulate his little guinea pigs.” Regulus chuckled dryly. “It’s his favourite hobby.”

Severus paled. “He… he wouldn’t.”

Regulus couldn’t help but laugh. “Wow, you really have been brain-washed haven’t you?”

Severus paled further.

“Look, Severus I need your help. Help me, help us. We can end this war without further bloodshed. We can save your precious Lily, and I can save those I love.”

“I’m not like you Regulus. I won’t be able to hide it from him.”

“Yes, yes you can.” Then he lifted his wand and said, “Legilimens.”

Regulus continued to press and press against Severus’s mental barriers until he could feel them shaking, they were far weaker than he had suspected and soon enough a small crack appeared, Regulus dove for it. First he was met with a feeling of disgust and then he was met with fear. Regulus was not searching for anything in particular, really he had just wanted to test Severus’s barriers, to see what he could do to help make them stronger. Severus tried shoving Regulus out, but he would not budge until he had made a proper examination of what he was working with.

Regulus withdrew, and Severus gasped, stumbling forward.

“Sorry about that, I had to catch you off guard; to see what I was working with. I’m going to train you Severus, I will make you the best fucking Occlumens there is, and then we are going to end this war.”

Severus looked up at him, and for the first time, Regulus saw a flash of hope in his eyes.

~

For the next two months, Regulus trained Severus once a week in Occlumency whilst the rest of the Order made plans to get the rest of the Horcruxes, and to attempt to get what they could of the Ministry back in their hands. The other side had begun to gain the upper hand; the deaths were piling, the fear was expanding and hope disintegrating.

Severus was getting stronger and stronger, he was nearly as good as Regulus, but he had to better.

It was on the third month since Severus’s turn that he showed up at the safe house where they usually met. It wasn't the Longbottoms' house; Regulus didn't want to put their home in any more danger than it already was.  Dumbledore had obliged him with a small hut in forest to the north, an emergency safe house for the Order.

“I got it,” Severus said as soon as Regulus allowed him pass the wards.

“Got what?”

Severus took his hand out of his pocket and showed Regulus a black leather bound book. “His diary.”

Regulus immediately took it from him and felt the dark magic wash over him like a cold trickle of water. “Yes, this is definitely a Horcrux, how did you get it?”

“I stole it off Lucius, he wasn’t very good at hiding it.”

Regulus could sense that Severus was not telling him the whole story. However, he did not care, all that mattered was that the diary was in his hands. They were one step closer to victory.

“Did you make a copy?”

Severus gave a look to Regulus as if to say I’m not an idiot. “Of course.”

“Good, good.” Regulus slipped his hand up his sleeve and took out the Goblin dagger that he kept on him at all times.

“Would you like the honours?” Regulus asked, Severus shook his head.

“Just be done with it.”

Regulus understood his urgency and he placed it down on the table before thrusting the point of the dagger into the leather. Instantly, a black liquid —almost like blood— spurted out of the diary. Regulus continued to press the dagger down until he felt all of the dark magic dissipate, he took the dagger out with a wet squelch and Severus picked up the diary and nodded his head. “There’s no trace of dark magic.”

“Now that leaves four.”

Severus nodded and gave Regulus an emotionless look. “I’m ready.”

Regulus stared at Severus and wondered where the man he knew from three months ago had gone, but then he reminded himself; he was not the same as he had once been either.

Regulus lifted his wand, and he didn’t even have to say the spell in order to begin his attack on Severus’s mind.

~

Regulus sighed as he finished scribbling away at his parchment, jotting down any ideas he had on where the diadem might be. He had considered many places. The Orphanage where Riddle had grown up had been to no avail, as had the house of his Muggle father. Severus had already checked multiple locations for him and had found nothing.

“Wait… didn’t he go to Hogwarts after coming back to England, asking for the DADA job? He would have had the diadem by then,” Regulus said to himself, scribbling down his words. “It would be right up his alley to hide something like that right under Dumbledore’s nose.”

The mirror flashed on his desk, nearly scaring him to death and he scratched his quill across his parchment. Regulus cleaned it up with a tap of his wand and then picked up the mirror. It had been nearly two weeks since he had spoken to James, he had been busy out on assignment and was too afraid to take the mirror with him in case he lost it or broke it.

“Well, hello there,” James said, a relieved smile on his face.

Regulus felt himself relax. “Hey, sorry it’s been a while, I’ve been busy.”

“I know, Sirius told me.” James gave him a soft smile. “How have you been?”

Regulus sighed. “Seriously? I have been fucking miserable. I barely get any sleep, I’m constantly worrying about my brothers safety and then to top it all off, its been a nightmare trying to figure out where these Horcruxes are.”

James looked as if he wanted to give him a hug, which Regulus desperately wanted. “Try and get some sleep tonight? Take a Dreamless Sleep.”

Regulus leaned back against his chair heavily. “I have been, but they don’t even work anymore.”

James frowned. “Regulus, I don’t think that’s a good thing.”

Regulus laughed dryly. “Don’t you think I am aware of that? I’ve been addicted to them ever since Sirius left, now my body seems to be immune to them unless I fucking take three and knock myself out. But I can’t afford to do that right now.”

Regulus then gave James a vulnerable look. “I haven’t had a decent sleep since… since our last night together.”

James reciprocated his look. “Neither have I.”

Regulus felt the tears begin to spring to his waterline, but he refused to cry. With all the self-control that he contained, he managed to keep them at bay.

They continued to speak quietly to one another, catching each other up on what they had missed over the past two weeks. Then the topic of Severus came up.

“Fuck, I really underestimated Severus when I was on their side. Now, I can’t imagine how I could have gotten any of this done without him.”

James gave Regulus a cold look. “Don’t trust him too much, Reg. You know what he did to Lily.”

Regulus sighed, yes he was aware what Severus had done to Lily over their Hogwarts years, especially in their seventh year. He had been in the mans mind after all. He was probably the only person that knew Severus as intimately as Severus knew himself.

“You haven’t seen what he is like now James, he’s different now.”

James’s frown remained. “Just… don’t let your guard down.”

Regulus only nodded, simply to get James off his back. He understood why they all disliked Severus, but they really had to put more faith in the man. He was the one helping them win this war after all. Regulus dropped the subject of Severus, knowing that it was only going to become a battle fought on a sinking ship if he kept trying to convince James of how much he had changed.

It was Lily that broke their quiet conversation of Harry, the child to be born.

“Hello Regulus,” she said from behind James. James gave her a shocked look, it seemed he hadn’t heard her enter the room.

“Er… Hello Lily,” said Regulus, scratching the back of his neck, displaying how awkward he felt.

“How are you?” she asked, Regulus could here the fake politeness in her tone.

“I’m as good as I’ll be, I suppose.” He shrugged.

“You look… Happy,” she said quietly and James gave her a perplexed look.

Regulus didn’t know what to say.

“Are you happy?” she asked and this time Regulus knew what she had meant.

Regulus gulped down the guilt. “Yes,” he said.

Lily looked at James then. “That’s all I want,” she said to James and then she left, leaving behind a stunned silence.

“Well… I guess she knows,” Regulus finally said.

“I think it didn’t take much for her to figure it out, I talk about you an obscene amount and she probably listens in on our talks ever so often.”

“At least she doesn’t seem too mad about it, Sirius on the other hand. I think I would rather he never knew.”

James’s eyes lightened with amusement. “You’ll have to tell him eventually, Reg.”

Regulus shook his head. “Let’s get through this war first, I need him as an ally and he might just go over there and murder you himself.”

James mock gasped. “He wouldn’t!”

Regulus snorted. “Then you don’t know him as well as I do.”

~

Regulus stared at Voldemort and wondered how he had gotten himself in this situation. Wait… no he knew exactly how, Severus had betrayed him.

“The traitor has returned,” said Voldemort, his voice washing over Regulus and causing him to shiver in disgust.

Regulus spat the blood in his mouth onto the floor. He was sure his nose was broken and perhaps his left cheekbone.

“You’re a monster,” Regulus sneered. Amycus punched him in the stomach this time. Amycus always had a love for physical violence. Regulus keeled over, but did not let a single sound leave his mouth. He would not give Voldemort the pleasure of his pain.

“I would love to kill you, oh sweet Regulus. But I hear that you were made the Potter’s Secret Keeper. You will tell me where they are,” said Voldemort, he stepped towards Regulus, his wand held in a lazy grip.

“I would rather die before I told you.”

“Uh, we will see about that.” Then Voldemort pressed his wand against the tip of Regulus’s head and the pain began.

First, he managed to keep Voldemort out, his defences were strong, stronger than Voldemort had anticipated. However, it didn’t take long for those defences to begin to fall, no matter how much magic he pumped into them to keep them up.

“You cannot fight me,” Voldemort hissed and he pressed harder, a crack splintered through his defences and Regulus couldn’t get to it in time before Voldemort was swooping forward, like an eagle catching its prey.

Voldemort did not take his time taking apart the crack, making it a hole begin enough for him to slip though and then he began the onslaught on Regulus’s brain in search for a secret that Regulus did not have.

It had been Regulus’s idea to spread the rumour that he was the Secret Keeper. Sure, they all expected that Sirius would be, but they all loved a riddle, and when the rumour had reached their ears. They all swallowed it like candy.

Regulus had enough sanity left within himself to hide away in a small safe box in his mind. He hid away from the pain, from the torture, from the destruction being left in his mind and let Voldemort do what he wanted to, to his own failure.

Voldemort withdrew, Regulus had no idea how long it had been, fuck he didn’t even know his own mind. He lay on the floor, his heart beating too slow to pump blood to his head, his breathing slow and uneven.

“He knows nothing,” Voldemort declared and he pointed his wand at Regulus, preparing to finish the job.

“Wait! My lord, he’s too valuable to kill,” a voice called out. It was eerily familiar to Regulus. A voice that caused a wash of searing anger to go through him.

“How so?” Voldemort questioned, Regulus lifted his head to try and stare at the man, but he could barely feel his fingers, let alone move his head.

“He was with the Order for eight months, we can get viable information out of him, my lord.”

“His mind is ruined now Severus, I doubt he even knows his own name.”

“No, he will remember; he is smarter than that. He will not let you destroy him so easily.”

This man was right, he would remember his own name, with time and healing. That little box had saved his life, saved his sanity.

Regulus wasn’t really sure what was happening, but soon enough he was being lifted off the ground and then placed into a room, and onto a bed. He sunk into the sheets and sighed with relief. The soft touch of healing magic washed over him and a cold liquid went down his throat. He let the potion pull him into the darkness.

“Wake up, Regulus.”

Regulus groaned and rolled over. He didn’t want to wake up, Merlin, he was in so much fucking pain. His entire body ached and his head felt as if it was splitting apart.

“Regulus!” the voice said with more panic. Regulus slowly opened his eyes, the mild light in the room felt blinding.

“James?” he croaked out. However, he knew that it would not be James. James was safe.

“No, it’s Severus. Regulus you need to wake up, I have the ring.”

Regulus tried sitting up, but fell back into the bed, Severus had to help him sit up; the touch of his hands disgusted him.

“What do you mean you have the ring?” he said, his throat ached for water. Severus handed him a cup after he was sure that Regulus could sit on his own.

Regulus took it with a trembling hand and chugged the water down.

“I had to get him to trust me, Regulus, he didn’t trust me enough. Not until… I gave you up.”

“You…” Regulus coughed up a splatter of blood into his hand. “You betrayed me… for the Order.”

“Sorry, I had to…” Severus looked down at the blood and winced. “Fuck, I wasn’t able to heal all the internal damage, only the bones. But you’re going to have to get up, take the ring and get out of here.”

“How?”

“With this,” and Severus raised his hand, that was not there. Instantly, Regulus recognised the glimmering.

“You have the cloak!”

“Yes, can you stand?”

Regulus didn’t think he could, but the cloak had revitalised something in him and he swung his aching legs off the bed and stood, but then he swayed and gripped onto Severus’s shoulder to stabilise himself.

“I can give you an energy potion, but I used all the healing potions I had already.”

Regulus coughed another bout of blood into his sleeve. “Give me the potion. How long do I have to get out of here?”

Severus handed him the potion and Regulus uncapped it and began drinking the foul liquid. Severus began explaining his plan to him whilst he drank. “I can give you a five minute window to leave the wards. The Dark Lord is occupied with some fake news that I gave him.”

“Fake news?” Regulus asked, placing the empty potion vial on the bedside table.

“I told them that you’re side was planning on taking the prophecy, from the Ministry.”

Regulus looked at Severus with a puzzled expression. “What prophecy?”

“Oh… you don’t know do you?”

“Know what?”

Then Severus told him and Regulus felt himself go cold. No, James wasn’t safe anymore. He was inside a bomb waiting to explode.

“I have to go to James,” he gasped out, his heart pounding with a fear he had not felt since he was thirteen years old.

“You can’t, you don’t know where he is.”

“I will make Sirius tell me, I have to go to him, he’s not safe anymore!” Regulus hobbled to the door, he had even forgotten to take the cloak with him. Severus stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder.

“You need to wait here whilst I make sure the coast is clear, I’ll send a Patronus when you can go; slip out through the servants quarters.” Severus then took his hand and placed Voldemorts gauntlet ring into his palm and then shoved the cloak into his other hand, then with one last look at Regulus, he opened the door and slipped through the small opening he had made and closed the door behind him with a soft click.

Regulus stared down at the ring and shivered. It felt just like the locket had felt. However, something in him knew that he shouldn’t wear it, so he slipped it into his pocket and waited.

Regulus didn’t want to wait, James was in trouble and then with a startling thought as he realised, that the Longbottoms were in trouble too. They weren’t under the Fidelius protection like James and Lily, they were exposed. They were being hunted.

Regulus skin itched with anticipation, or maybe it was the energy potion. He wasn’t sure. He was just at the point of convincing himself that he didn’t need a signal from Severus when a bright glow lit up the sides of his door and shrouded it in a halo of light. Severus Patronus. Regulus only just remembering about the cloak, placed it over himself and threw the door open, where a doe awaited him.

“Thank you,” he whispered to it and then he hurried down the hall. He had to get to the Longbottoms before Voldemort did.

~

He arrived at the Longbottoms cottage just in time to find Barty Crouch Jr and the Lestranges’s fighting with Sirius and Frank, who were barely holding their own. Regulus was still feeling horribly weak, but he couldn’t let the people who had welcomed him into their home to die. He had to help them.

“Sectumsempra!” Regulus cried and the spell hit Rabastan in the back, his skin instantly exploding with rivulets of blood where the cuts had severed through his skin. Rabastan fell to the floor, crying out in agony. The remaining two turned to him.

“It’s the traitor!” Barty yelled and threw the Killing Curse at him, Regulus only managed to dodge it by a hairs width by throwing himself to the ground. But the distraction had been enough, Sirius and Frank hit them both with Stunning Hexes strong enough to take down a giant. They fell to the floor with a heavy thunk.

Regulus raised himself from the ground and stood, holding himself up with the sheer power of determination.

“Regulus, you’re alive!” Sirius cried out and he was instantly in Regulus’s space, suffocating him in a hug.

“When you didn’t report back, we thought you were dead.” Regulus could here the relief in Sirius’s voice and it nearly made his knees buckle.

“Alice, where’s Alice?” Regulus asked, noticing her lack of presence.

“She’s with the Potters, thought it would be safer for her there,” said Frank.

Regulus sagged against Sirius. “Thank Merlin,” he sighed out.

Regulus eventually mustered the strength to stand on his own and he stared at the defeated Death Eaters, Rabastan was dead and other two merely stunned. What to do with them however, Regulus wasn’t sure. Frank however, did know what to do, and he let Sirius and Regulus be as he put the two stunned Death Eaters into binds. Regulus turned his attention back to his brother.

“What happened Reg? You went to meet Snape and it’s been two days.”

Another coughing fit attacked Regulus then and he doubled over, blood splattering onto the grass.

“Fuck, Regulus!” Sirius explained and he picked up Regulus bridal style and rushed him into the house, placing him gently on a couch.

“Frank!” Sirius yelled out. Frank came rushing down the hall and skidded into the room. Regulus first noticed the crimson blood on his hand, he must have been examining the dead Rabastan.

“Call Dorcas, we need a healer,” Sirius said to him as soon as he had arrived.

“She’s out on assignment with Remus, remember?” Frank said, he stared down at Regulus with concern.

“Dumbledore then!”

Frank nodded and he rushed off to the study. Regulus gasped for breath and coughed the blood out of his airway.

“He… He betrayed me, Sirius. The plan to make them think I was the Secret Keeper worked. I…” Regulus squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to remember that night of torture from the Carrows. His mind was still healing from Voldemort and trying to recall them only caused blinding pain.

“When they couldn’t get anything out of me, they brought me to Voldemort. He found nothing, and was just about to kill me when… Severus stopped him.”

Sirius looked at him, aghast. “But he betrayed you!”

“Yes, to gain the ultimate trust of Voldemort.” He placed his hand into his pocket and pulled the ring out. “To gain this.”

Sirius stared at the ring, but he did not move to take it.

“He gave you up, let you get tortured for two days, for the ring,” Sirius’s voice was thick with disgust, yet there was also realisation in it.

Regulus nodded and coughed slightly. He was so fucking thankful that he had left the dagger behind in the forest safe house. He would have to go fetch it.

“I need to destroy it as soon as I can.”

“Well first, you need medical attention, you’re coughing up blood!” Sirius watched as Regulus placed the ring back into his pocket. He seemed to want to take it, which Regulus felt nervous about, but instead he materialised a cup of water for Regulus, which he took gratefully.

Regulus didn’t know what else to say, so he drank the water to fill the silence. That was when Frank entered the room.

“Dumbledore said you should go to Hogwarts, Poppy will see to you.”

Regulus nodded and he put the cup down before sitting up. He coughed up a little more blood, but thankfully he was able to stand. He wasn’t sure how long his energy was going to last though, he could feel the energy potion beginning to wear off. Regulus hobbled his way to the Floo and looked back at Sirius who looked as if he wanted to come.

Regulus than realised something. “Sirius, here take this.”

Regulus than performed what he had done for Kreacher all those months ago and removed the memory of Severus telling him about the Prophecy. It was incredibly painful, he really shouldn’t be messing with his memories when he was still so fragile up there. But he was running out of time and he didn’t think Sirius would believe him unless he saw the memory himself. Then, he quickly transfigured a cup into a vial and put the memory into it.

“You need to view this as soon as you can, then I need you to go to Lily and James, they are going to need your protection.”

Sirius took the vial, confusion knotting his brows together. “What do you mean, they’re protected under Fidelius?”

“Don’t underestimate him, Sirius,” Regulus said grimly.

Sirius nodded. “Right, I’ll watch this as soon as I can. Now you need to go, before you die whilst Flooing.”

Regulus’s lips perked up in a weak smile and he grabbed a handful of powder and stepped into the fireplace. “Stay safe the both of you,” he said to the two sombre men. They both nodded and with that, Regulus threw down the powder and spoke Hogwarts name.

~

Regulus groaned as he awoke to the high ceiling of Hogwarts infirmary. He had barely managed the Floo travel and had fainted as soon as he had arrived. He remembered waking up every now and then again, but mostly he remembered the pain of awakening and being given another dose of Dreamless Sleep, soothing him back into a sleep that was nothing but empty. He was still in pain, but it was a manageable pain that allowed him to sit up with caution and examine his surroundings. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been in the infirmary at Hogwarts. He rarely got injured during his time here. Perhaps the last time might have been when he had such a pounding headache from the stress of his OWLs and the growing war, he had begged Pomfrey for a Dreamless Sleep.

Regulus didn’t want to sit up, but he had to know what was happening, he couldn’t be kept out of the loop like this. Specifically, he had to know if James and Severus were okay. Regulus had no idea what time it was, but by the way soft light was filtering through the windows, he guessed it had to be sometime in the early morning. Surely, Dumbledore would be up at this time? He knew that the Headmaster barely slept, much like himself.

Thankfully, it was so early that there were no students mullying about in the halls as he slowly made his way to Dumbledore’s office. Regulus didn’t think it would be considered a very wise idea to let a student see a known Death Eater haunting their halls. Finally, Regulus managed to get to the entrance of Dumbledore’s office without being noticed and he stared down at the Gargoyle.

“Tell Dumbledore that I am here,” he said to the motionless statue. There was no movement from it to acknowledge his presence, but he knew that the message had been sent. It was only a moment later when the Gargoyle swung backwards and revealed the spiral staircase that would take Regulus down to Dumbledore’s office.

Regulus made his way down the stairs and did not even bother to knock on the door before he entered. Dumbledore was not at his desk like Regulus had expected. He was actually standing in front of his penseive, staring into the basin. Regulus assumed that he was inside the pensieve, but he looked up as Regulus entered the room.

“How are you feeling?” Dumbledore asked, stepping away from the pensieve.

“Much better, I forgot how good Poppy is,” Regulus answered, and it was the truth. He was feeling miles better than last night.

“I’m glad, you had quite a number of injuries, Regulus. Sirius gave me the run down of what happened, but I would like to hear it from you myself.”

Regulus nodded and he sat down at the chair in front of Dumbledore’s desk, he needed to be sitting for this. Once had recounted those two torturous days and his near death, by the end of it, Dumbledore looked like he needed a smoke or maybe a shot of firewhiskey.

“It was wise to send Alice to James and Lily, she will be safe there.”

“But for how long! What if Frank gets tortured and the information of their whereabouts becomes known? What about Sirius? They know he’s the Secret Keeper now, fuck I’m surprised that he isn’t dead.”

Dumbledore shook his head. “They can’t torture the information of a place under the Fidelius charm out of someone, Regulus.”

“You don’t know what he is capable of then, Dumbledore. He tore my mind apart. If I wasn’t adapt at Occlumency as I am, then I would be dead right now.”

Dumbledore frowned and he sat down at his desk. “What do you suggest then?”

“I suggest Sirius goes into hiding; stays in his Animagus form whilst I hunt the rest of the Horcruxes.”

“You’re brother isn’t going to like that idea, he doesn’t like to sit still.”

“Well, he will fucking learn how to,” Regulus snapped.

Dumbledore shook his head. “He barely listens to my orders anymore Regulus. If you can convince him to go into hiding, then we will go with your plan.”

Regulus stood. “Oh, I will convince him alright.” Regulus turned to leave, but Dumbledore standing suddenly stopped him.

“Wait, use the Floo here, won’t want a student to see you.”

Regulus deflated slightly, but he turned with his chin still up and his shoulders set back. “Of course.”

Dumbledore led him to the Floo and Regulus grabbed a handful of the Floo powder. “Stay safe, Regulus.”

Regulus did not turn back as he said, “you too, sir.” And then he was gone.

~

Regulus apparated to the hut as soon as he arrived at the Longbottoms, for he had a Horcrux to destroy.

~

“Are you fucking insane?” Sirius exclaimed, his face alight with fury.

“Sirius, it’s the only way to keep you alive. Voldemort would have ordered you to specifically targeted, you’re being hunted!”

“I can’t go into hiding, I have a job here! I need to help you with the Horcruxes, I have to help Remus, I have to protect you all!” Sirius grabbed his wand and pointed it at a vase, it shattered into tiny little fragments and they rained down harmlessly around them.

“Sirius, please, I can’t finish this mission whilst worrying about your safety constantly, I need you safe!”

Sirius turned to him, his face red. “What about you? How will I know if you are safe? Why do you get to risk your life out there whilst I have to hide away… like some coward,” he spat out that last word and Regulus felt his temper rise.

“Is James a coward then? Is he a coward for going into hiding to protect his family?” Regulus hissed at Sirius.

Instantly Sirius deflated. “What, no! But—”

Regulus cut him off. “No, he is not a coward, he is doing a duty to himself and to his family by staying away from the fighting, by protecting himself. Please, Sirius, you’re too much of a target; the minute they set eyes on you, they’re not going to stop until they have you. He won’t stop until he has you.”

Sirius seemed to finally realise what Regulus was trying to do, he sat down on an armchair and with his elbows on his knees and held his face in his hands.

“I don’t want to leave you again Reg, I promised you I wouldn’t”

Regulus swallowed the lump in his throat and he went to his knees in front of Sirius and slowly took his hands away from his face. “You’re not leaving me Sirius, you’re simply going away for a little while so I know that you’re safe. So I can finish this war as soon as I can.”

“What about Remus?”

“Remus will go with you, you two can go to James, you’ll both be the safest there. How can they find the Secret Keeper when he’s hiding within his secret?

“But then…”

Regulus shook his head, willing the tears to stay put. “I will be okay. There’s only three Horcruxes remaining now; I’ll be okay on my own. Besides, I know you don’t like him much, but we’ve got Severus on our side.”

Sirius’s lips pulled up into a half-hearted smirk. “What that git?”

“Yes, that git.” Regulus rolled his eyes and let out a breath of relief. Sirius wasn’t angry anymore, which meant he would be willing to listen.

“Remus will be harder to convince,” Sirius said.

“I know, but we’ll convince him it’s for the best.”

“I don’t want to leave you, Reg,” Sirius said softly, his voice breaking.

Reg swallowed the incoming wave of tears. “I don’t want to either.”

Sirius grabbed Regulus by the arms and pulled him into a hug. “Merlin, just please don’t die,” he said into his shoulder, Regulus could feel his robe beginning to dampen where Sirius’s face was.

Regulus’s voice broke as a sob escaped past his lips. “I won’t.”

~

It had been about four months since Sirius and Remus had gone into hiding. Regulus tried to keep in contact with them as much as possible with the mirror. However, each time he talked to them, he felt the burden of his choice dig further and further into his bones and press onto his diaphragm until he felt like he was suffocating. Eventually, he began ignoring the mirror when it lit up with an incoming call. He couldn't stand seeing their fake smiles and glittering hope; he couldn't stand hearing about Harry and Neville, the soon-to-be born infants; it sickened him.

Severus, with his cover still intact, continued to dig around for the locations of the remaining Horcruxes. Regulus had a theory that the diadem was at Hogwarts, but where? He did not know. He was heading for Hogwarts tomorrow, it was summer holidays right now, which meant there were no students about that would die of fright if they saw him.

Regulus was just about to clean up for bed, when a peck came at his window. He went to the window where a white barn owl waited for him, he opened it swiftly and closed it as soon as the owl swooped through.

“Hello there,” Regulus said softly. He took the letter from its claws gently and then scrounged around his messy room until he unearthed a bag of owl treats. The owl nipped his finger affectionately before taking the treat and then it went to his window sill. Apparently it wanted a nap before it had to leave. Regulus quickly opened the letter, there was nothing written on the front of it, which meant he had no idea who it was from.

Regulus looked inside the open envelope and confusedly took out a brown stained piece of folded parchment. The words materalised before him as he stared at it.

“Moody, Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail are proud to present, the Marauders map,” Regulus said, reading the words aloud as they appeared.

He laughed into the silent air, no wonder they had managed to get up to so much mischief during their Hogwarts years. They had made a map!

He looked into the enveloped again and was surprised to see another piece of folder parchment. He placed the map down on his desk and took out the paper, unfolding it carefully.

Dear Regulus,

I hope you get this in time before you leave for Hogwarts tomorrow, but I thought that this might help you with searching for the diadem. It ’s been a while since we have talked, I know how busy you must be.

I don ’t want to bore you too much with letter, so I’ll keep it short for you. The house as full as it is, has been quite silent. Remus and Sirius spend much of their time in their room, I think now that they’re finally back together; they have much to talk about, much to heal. Frank and Alice, Merlin, I don’t know how they do it. Alice just never stops smiling, it’s truly amazing.

Lily … Lily’s been struggling, we have to share a room now due to the arrival of the others, and she complains non stop about the baby. She wants him out she whines, which is going to be any day now I think. Hopefully soon, I can’t wait to meet him.

Anyways, that ’s enough about me, I’m not sure if you’ll reply to this letter but I just want you to know that I miss you dearly Regulus. It relieves me to know you’re going to Hogwarts, it’s the safest place you can be.

Love,

James.

Ps. To open the map simply say ‘I solemnly swear that I am up to no good’ and when you want to hide the contents again just give it a tap with your wand and say ‘mischief managed’.

Regulus blinked as a tear fell onto the letter, smudging the word love. Fuck, he missed James so much. James was the other half of his soul, and without him, he felt as if he was hanging in a place with no air. He felt empty.

“I love you too,” Regulus sobbed out, another tear falling until soon enough, the dam broke and he was sobbing into his hands, the letter safely put away from the destruction of his tears.

Regulus got up and curled himself into a ball on his bed and let the shaking sobs lull him to sleep.

~

Harry and Neville were born a mere two hours apart. Neville just before the clock struck midnight and Harry two hours later on the 31st. The two hours apart, meant that the prophecy now meant Harry was to be the chosen one. However, Regulus knew that destiny could be denied, and he would not allow Harry’s destiny to become true.

Regulus had made little advancement in finding the diadem and it was extremely aggravating. Severus too, had found no leads on the Hufflepuff Cup. They felt as if they were being lead by big signs, screaming at them the right direction to go, but the words on them were written in a language that nobody could read.

Regulus learned from many hours spent pacing in Dumbledore’s office that the remaining members of the Order were currently working to get the Ministry back under their control. It was difficult work, with Dorcas and Marlene leading the Ministry team but apparently they had managed to get a few departments back under their control. It helped that Barty Crouch Jr and Rodolphus Lestrange were now under their custody, they were two of the Death Eaters that had many witches and wizards under Imperius.

It was two weeks later, pacing the seventh floor corridor and thinking of a room that would be able to hide a diadem when a door materialised before him. He turned to the door quickly, wand in hand. He stared down at the map in his hand, the door wasn’t written on the map, where could it have come from?

Regulus tentatively stepped up to the door and opened it up it slowly, wand ready for anything. He swung the door wide open and stepped into the dark room, that instantly flared to life with light once he had stepped inside. The room left Regulus breathless with awe. The room seemed to on forever and it was filled with piles upon piles of objects that Regulus could not even focus on. It seemed he had found what he had wanted. A room where he could hide the diadem and it appeared Tom Riddle had not been the only one to hide something within this room.

Then he began to feel overwhelmed as the realisation hit him. He would have to find the diadem through all of this. He didn’t have the time for that.

~

Dumbledore was the one to find Regulus. “We’ve found the cup,” he said as soon as he had entered Regulus’s room. He had just awoken from a nap, he had been looking through the Room of Hidden Things all night, as he had been for the past two weeks.

“Where is it?” he asked groggily, wiping the sleep from his eyes as he chugged down a Pepper-Up potion.

“Bellatrix’s vault at Gringotts, this one is going to be a bit trickier to get. Voldemort will know as soon as we break into the vault, then he will be aware that we have been hunting the Horcruxes.”

“Which means it will be fucking impossible to access Nagini, he’ll put her on lock down.”

Dumbledore nodded. “Exactly. Also, any progress finding the diadem?”

Regulus sighed. “A little, I found a couple of spells that have quickened the progress, but it’s still not fast enough.”

“I’ll help as soon as I find some time,” Dumbledore said sympathetically.

“Thanks,” Regulus said, rubbing his hand down his face. The Pepper-Up potion had helped a bit, it would keep him awake for another few hours at least.

“I’ll let you be then, I have a meeting to attend.”

Regulus nodded and watched as Dumbledore walked out the door, his long robes trailing behind him, the last of it flicking around the corner. Regulus got himself ready for the day and made his way to the seventh floor corridor. Time to keep looking.

It was well after sundown when Regulus released himself from the Room of Hidden things and trudged down to the kitchens to get himself some dinner. He was starving, having not eaten anything all day and completely exhausted. He knew that he should be stretching his magic out and not using it all in one day until he was beyond exhausted. However, he couldn’t do that, he was on a looming deadline, he had to find this diadem.

Regulus tickled the pear with the tip of his wand and the portrait swung open, exposing a small rounded corridor that Regulus had to crouch to walk through. He raised himself back to his height with a sigh of relief when he exited the corridor into the large kitchen, it was quiet at this time of night, not a house-elf in sight. However, Kreacher —who Regulus had brought with him— popped into existence almost instantly.

“You’re dinner is waiting, Master Regulus.”

“Thank you, Kreacher,” Regulus said with a soft smile and he sat down at a table to eat his food. He didn’t like eating in his room; it made him feel alone and isolated. But somehow the space of the large kitchen, with its replica of the four dining tables that occupied the Great Hall, kept him company. He watched as Kreacher cleaned up after himself and held back the temptation to ask the elf to sit with him, he was not that lonely… was he?

After he had finished his meal, he thanked Kreacher and began his journey up to the first floor, where his room was. As soon as he entered his room he divulged himself of his robe and sat down at his desk, sleep was evading him once again, no matter how tired he felt.

He was just about to drink a Dreamless-Sleep when the mirror flashed white. Regulus hesitated, unsure if he should take the call. However, he knew that he should, he shouldn’t ignore his family forever. Usually, it was James or Sirius on the other line, so when he picked up the mirror and saw… Lily, he had trouble covering up the surprise on his face.

“Oh, you picked up!” Lily said, a bright smile on her face.

“You caught me at just the right time,” Regulus said, attempting to keep the shock out of his tone, but knowing he had failed.

“I wanted to show you Harry, you’ve been so busy that you haven’t met him yet,” Lily said with a fond smile and before Regulus could deny the invitation, the mirror was turning down to show an infant wrapped in a baby blue blanket. Harry was sleeping, his eyes closed, but none-the-less he still took Regulus’s breath away. Harry looked like any other baby, but he could see James and Lily in him already. He had James’s nose and the shape of his chin — small but strong. His hair was also the same as James, brown —nearly black— and already looking unruly for how little of it he had. However, the shape of his lips were undeniably Lily’s, with a deep cupids bow and soft curve to his lips.

“He has my eyes,” Lily said softly, her voice filled with adoration.

“Good, James eyes are boring,” Regulus said and he instantly snapped his mouth shut. He wasn’t sure why he had said that.

Lily lifted the mirror and looked at Regulus, an amused smile on her lips. “He does, doesn’t he?”

Regulus wanted to deny it, but perhaps from a societal point of view, James had just regular old brown eyes. Yet, Regulus could spend a week describing them and it still wouldn’t do them justice. Instead he said, “yes.” And even let a smirk lift up his lips.

“How’s Alice?” he asked, he hadn’t heard much from her.

“She’s doing much better than me, Neville slipped out without much of fuss. Harry on the other hand really put James’s and Remus’s healing magic to the test.” Her voice was light, but Regulus could sense the fear that she would have been feeling at the time. Regulus was glad that she was okay, glad that they were all okay.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said and Lily gave him a gentle smile.

“Yeah, me too.”

Regulus held back a yawn and Lily’s eyes lit up with realisition. “Oh sorry, you must have been heading to bed, well I’ll let you go.”

Regulus was going to say, no he wasn’t feeling tired at all, however that would be a lie. So, he let Lily say her hurried goodbyes and he lowered the mirror, ending the incantation by flipping it over onto his table.

Regulus shrugged out of the rest of his clothes —he usually awoke from a nightmare or sort and he preferred to not awaken in sweaty clothes— and crawled into bed. When he closed his eyes, a small pair of green eyes looked back at him and Regulus had the thought I’m finally doing something that’s worth it and fell asleep.

Regulus awoke feeling more rejuvenated than he had in weeks and decided that he would eat some breakfast before heading to the seventh floor. He called Kreacher and told him to bring breakfast to his room, Kreacher happily obliged. Regulus finished his food and began his journey upstairs, he began thinking through the spells in his mind that he would use today. His routine as of right now was levitating an entire pile and then using a charm specifically made for sorting to put all common objects in their own piles. It was slow work, but effective. Then he had a few others charms that he used that would alert if anything meeting the specifications of the diadem had been found. He’d already had a few false alarms so far, apparently there were a few students that had wanted to hide away tiaras and stuff of that sort.

Regulus entered the room as the door appeared and instantly he began to get to work. By the afternoon, he had done another portion of the endless room and was feeling exhausted once again, the energy of the morning gone as if it had never existed at all. He slipped his hand into his pocket and chugged down a Pepper-Up potion. It wasn’t a good idea to rely on potions to keep oneself awake, but Regulus was gone beyond the point of worrying about his own wellbeing.

Regulus let the spells around them do their work as he took a break. Thankfully, a lot of this magic was simple and didn’t need his constant attention, as long as he had the magic to supply, they would continue to work until he ended them himself. Regulus had also learned over the few weeks that he had been here that the room also listened to whatever desire that he wanted, to a certain degree. If he wanted a comfy chair to sit on, then the chair would appear, if he needed a drink then the glass would appear, but not with water. It seemed that the room couldn’t give him any food or water. Books though, the room could supply. The sorting spell he was using right now he had actually learned from a book he had received from the room. He had just begun thinking the thought I wish I had a spell that would allow me to sort items automatically and the book had appeared in his hands.

However, the items would disappear the next day and he would have to think of them specifically again. Thankfully, he had remembered the title of that book or he might have lost it forever. Regulus was shook out of his thinking however, when the charm that alerted him if the diadem had been found, was set off. Regulus looked up and began to follow the sound of the very annoying ringing. He kept his expectations low, sure that it would be another false alarm. However, after he had shifted a book, he stared down at the startling lustrous silver raven and ocean blue sapphires and felt himself sway.

Regulus instantly plucked the diadem before it disappeared into thin air before his eyes and shivered as the wash of dark magic trickled through him. This was it, he had found the diadem.

Regulus stopped all of the incantations in the room, and the floating objects fell to the floor with muted clangs and thuds. His ears were ringing with his growing hope, he felt so full of it that he thought he might burst. As he made his way out of the room, he thought about what he should do. He had stupidly left the dagger in his room, he would have to fetch that first. Regulus held the diadem in a tight grip as he raced down the stairs until he came to a skidding halt at his door. He turned the handle and threw the door open, not caring about the echoing slam that it had caused. Then he opened up the draw to his bedside table and brandished the dagger. He put the diadem on his desk and then had a sullen thought, he didn’t want to destroy something so beautiful. But there was no saving it, he had to destroy it. So, without a second thought, he jabbed the tip of the dagger into the largest centre sapphire, the sapphire splintered down the middle and the cracks instantly began oozing the now familiar horrible black liquid of dark magic.

Regulus watched until he was sure that the Horcrux was no more and then fell back onto his chair with a sigh of relief. Just two more now, and he thankfully knew the location of both. Getting to them however, was going to be the tricky part.

Dumbledore was at his door and nearly scared him to death, Regulus, wand in his pocket had pointed the dagger at him instead.

“Sorry, I came as soon as I heard the bang,” he said, then his eyes found the broken diadem on Regulus’s desk.

“You found it,” he said with astonishment.

“Yes, finally.” Regulus sighed and he picked up the diadem, handing it to Dumbledore. Dumbledore took it gently, holding it as if it was going to break at any moment.

“Shame to see such a precious artefact reduced to this,” he said, turning the silver metal over in his hands.

“Well with the dark magic gone, I’m sure it can be fixed,” Regulus said with dismissal, he didn’t really care anymore about the state of the diadem, he was just glad the wretched thing had been found and destroyed.

“Now, time to break into Gringotts,” Dumbledore said, a familiar glint in his eye.

~

Regulus placed his shield up just in time to block a nasty dark spell from Amycus Carrow. Regulus ran as fast he could through the stone corridors of Gringotts, Moody on his left and Dorcas on his right. Moody held a strong shield charm on their backs as they ran. With the help of a particularly vengeful Goblin who was keen to do anything to take down Voldemort, they had managed to get into Bellatrix’s vault. However, she had set the thing with bloody alarms that had called the entire Death Eater population to them. Any moment now he was waiting for Voldemort to show up, ready to kill them all in instant. Thankfully, he had yet to appear.

Regulus turned around and shot out the disarming spell, hoping to catch one of the Death Eaters unaware, but it was blocked.

“Just keep running!” Moody yelled out, so they did, their pounding footsteps echoing through the cavernous hall.

“Dorcas, on your right!” Moody yelled and just in time too, for as they rounded the corner, Severus was there facing them with his wand raised.

“Expelliarmus,” he cried, but Dorcas has been warned and the spell reflected off her shield a second before it had reached her wand.

Regulus stared at Severus and wondered what he was going to do, but then their tailing Death Eater friends caught up to them, now they were trapped. Regulus stared at Severus and begged for him to make the right decision. Regulus was the only one here that knew of Severus’s true allegiances, fuck this could all go so wrong so quickly.

“Well what are you waiting for Severus, disarm them!” Amycus called out, his spell reflecting off Moody’s impenetrable shield; shields were his specialty and Regulus was insanely glad that Moody had volunteered for this mission, no matter how suicidal it was.

“Severus,” Regulus whispered and Severus gave him one last look before he pointed his wand at Amycus Carrow and said almost indifferently, “Confrigo.”

Amycus and Alecto Carrow went flying back, hitting the solid stone wall, the sickening crunch of their impact echoing through the hall. They slid to the floor and their bodies —like puppets whose strings had been cut— collapsed to the floor, pools of blood began to spread from their cracked skulls, staining the stone crimson. Regulus had to look away before he began to get sick, Severus had performed such a powerful blasting curse that the corpses were mangled beyond comprehension.

Dorcas aimed her wand at Severus, disbelief all over her face. “You killed them,” she said.

Snape lowered his wand and instead looked to Regulus. “Did you get it?” he asked.

Regulus nodded and took the cup out of his pocket, it was much smaller than Regulus had expected it to be, but it was what they wanted.

“Good, now you’re going to have to knock me out.”

“What?” Regulus cried out.

“You have to make it look like I tried to defend myself, I’m still needed to get to Nagini aren’t I?”

Regulus nodded then in understanding. “Hurry, there’s more coming,” Severus said. Regulus lifted his wand but before he performed the spell needed he first decided that it would be best if Snape didn’t remember what he had done, in-case Voldemort decided to check what had happened himself.

“Sorry, Sev, but I have to do this,” Regulus said apologetically, then he performed Obliviate, taking away the past five minutes of his memory. Severus looked around confused and stared at the bodies, stunned motionless, then he looked to Regulus who then performed his next spell.

“Stupefy!” and Severus fell to the floor with a loud thump and crack as his head hit the stone.

“Let’s go, I’ll explain later,” he said to Dorcas and Moody and without a second look back, they began running to the exit.

~

“So, you’re saying that Severus Snape, known for being Voldemort’s favourite lap dog; is in fact, a spy?” Dorcas said incredibly.

Regulus winced in sympathy for Severus, but he nodded none-the-less.

Moody grunted as he thought it over and then he sat down on the chair in Regulus’s room at Hogwarts. Tomorrow, the school would be opening again for the new year, but for tonight it was still Regulus’s place of occupation.

“What are we going to do about Nagini now? I still think we should have gone to her first,” Dorcas said, tapping her foot against the floor in her usual manner when she was feeling anxious. Regulus liked Dorcas, first off she was an incredible witch and so Gryffindor that it nearly made him sick, but she was not very good at hiding what she was feeling. So far, Regulus had counted five tells on her that gave away what she was feeling.

“It was easier to get to the cup than Nagini first, sure now he knows what we are up to, but Nagini is his last remaining Horcrux, he’s backed into a corner now.”

“You don’t think he’ll just make another one, do you?” she asked nervously. Regulus wasn’t sure when he had become the one with all the answers, but apparently he had.

Regulus shook his head. “Dumbledore and I have already gone over it, it’s possible that he could. But with his soul torn into so many pieces, we don’t think he has anything left to… split.”

“Bloody hope so,” she said and the tapping of her foot stopped. “Where are you going now, Reg? Since Hogwarts is open tomorrow.”

Regulus shrugged. “I don’t know, probably to another safe house that Dumbledore deems worthy of my presence.”

Moody snorted and Regulus looked over to the stoic man, Regulus hadn’t had much interaction with Moody over the year that he had been apart of the Order. Generally, Moody was at the Ministry, trying to keep it under the Orders control. However, he had gotten injured in a battle with Greyback, who had taken a good part of his leg. So, he had been put on the back seat for the past couple of months. Thankfully, he was healed enough to come on this mission, he had saved Regulus’s life more times than he could count in the span of that hour.

“What’s so funny?” Regulus asked, testing the waters. Perhaps it wouldn’t be a good idea to talk to this formidable Auror with adrenaline still running through his veins.

“Nothing, it just surprises me how blindly you follow that man.”

Regulus stared at the scarred Auror and wondered what he should reply with. “I don’t follow him blindly,” Regulus said defensively.

“Are you sure about that?” Moody grunted and then he stood up, his pegged leg thumping against the floor.

“Yes.” Regulus scowled, he was suddenly not in the mood for this type of conversation.

“Let me just warn you boy, don’t forgot who you are. Learn from the mistakes of your past and never follow blindly again.”

Regulus simply stared at Moody, saying nothing.

Dorcas looked between the two of them. “What are you going on about?” she asked confused.

Moody sharply looked at her. “He will know,” he said, and then he began hobbling out of the room.

“Am I missing something or…”

Regulus just shook his head dismissively. “Don’t worry about it.”

Dorcas shrugged and turned to the door. “Well, I’ll see you around then, Regulus.”

Regulus tried to put a smile onto his face. “See you around Dorcas.”

The door closed behind her with a soft clock and Regulus exhaled out with a sigh and sunk onto his bed. Just one more, one more Horcrux.

~

Severus sipped the tea that Regulus had offered him, it had been two months since the destruction of the Hufflepuff Cup and slowly they were picking off straggling Death Eaters, preparing for the final battle where Nagini and Voldemort would hopefully be slaughtered all in one go.

“How have you been?” Severus asked and Regulus sighed. Honestly, he had been shit. Since the hunt for the Horcruxes had stopped for the time being he had been sent on missions with Dorcas and other members to hunt down Death Eaters, they had long ago given up on the idea of capturing them for later sentences in Azkaban, right now it was kill or be killed. He had been stunned, hexed, broken multiple bones, nearly bled to death and still, they kept sending him out into the field. Regulus was not made to be a soldier, he was meant to be behind the scenes, using his cunning to get him through to the next day, he wasn’t meant to be using his meager defence skills.

“Shit, to be honest, and it doesn’t help that every night I come back here I’m covered in bruises and cuts that are so painful I can barely sleep.”

“Don’t you have a healer?”

Regulus snorted. “Dorcas is the only one that is barely capable of healing, but by the end of the day she’s so exhausted she can only heal the worst of the wounds, leaving the less deadly to heal on their own.

“Want me to see what I can do?” Severus asked and Regulus raised his eyebrows at him, he had never offered to heal him before.

“You’ve never said you could use healing magic.”

Severus shrugged. “I’ve had to learn a thing or two.”

Regulus decided that he didn’t need Severus to elaborate, but he eagerly took the offer, he was desperate for a good nights sleep.

He took off his cloak and then shrugged off the shirt he was wearing beneath. He ignored how exposed he felt being shirtless in front of Severus and tried to keep a clinical head space about it. Severus’s face showed nothing of what he was feeling and he stepped forward, his pale hand that was holding his wand raised and he pointed it at the largest bruise and began murmuring out the healing charms. Regulus shivered as the cold trickle of healing magic washed over him and closed his eyes, feeling himself relax as the bruise began to fade. When he opened his eyes, Severus had stepped closer and he held in his breath as their eyes locked.

Severus stepped closer again and Regulus had to look up slightly to continue looking into his eyes. “Severus,” Regulus heard himself say.

Severus leaned in, his eyes ducking down to Regulus’s lips, suddenly Regulus was aware of what was happening and he stumbled backwards, nearly tripping over his stool.

“What are you doing!” he exclaimed, and he took in a deep breath to clear his head.

“Sorry… was I… misinterpreting something?”

“Yes!” Regulus said, making sure to keep his distance from Severus. “Besides… I thought you were in love with Lily?”

Severus’s face brightened with amusement. “In love? No, I do love her… just… platonically.”

“Oh you’re…”

Severus nodded. “Indeed so. Sorry, I guess I thought you were too.” 

Regulus blushed. “You weren’t wrong there… but I’m sorry Severus, I’m with someone.”

Severus’s face this time conveyed his surprise. “With who? You’ve never spoken about being with someone before.”

Regulus sniffed and turned to put his shirt back on, suddenly not wanting to have this conversation whilst shirtless. “It’s none of your business who I am with, but I’m not interested so please don’t try anything again.”

Severus nodded. “Noted, also I can still heal you; I won’t try anything.”

Regulus hesitated, he was already feeling better with just the large bruise being healed, he could deal with the rest. “No, it’s fine, I’ll just use the healing balm I have left on the rest of them.”

Severus shrugged, as if it didn’t bother him, but Regulus could sense that he had walled himself off a bit.

“Are we… okay?” Regulus asked, they were so close to the finish line and he hoped he hadn’t fucked up their chance of winning this war just because he hadn’t wanted to kiss Severus.

Severus relaxed slightly. “Yes, I’m fine.”

Regulus couldn’t help but sigh with relief; Severus was important to him, he relied more than he would like to on his friendship.

“Okay good, well I think you should probably head off or they’ll wonder where you have gone.”

Severus nodded. “I’ll be off then.”

“Stay safe,” Regulus said, suddenly not wanting Severus to leave on a sour note.

Severus didn’t turn around as he said, “I will.” Then he was out the door.

~

It was two weeks later when someone began pounding against his door. Regulus shot up, wand instantly in his hand.

The pounding continued and Regulus felt for his wards, they were still intact, which meant whoever was at his door had to be someone who he had approved entrance through the wards.

“Who is it!” Regulus called out.

“It’s Moody, now hurry up and get your skinny arse out here,” the familiar gruff voice yelled.

Regulus rushed out of bed but was going so quick that he got his legs tangled in his blanket and he ended up face planting onto the floor instead. 

“Ouch,” he groaned out.

Thankfully, Moody said nothing. Ignoring the throbbing of his nose, Regulus got himself dressed as quickly as he could and then threw the door open.

“What’s happening?” he asked worriedly, closing the door behind him and quickly reinforcing the wards.

“Dumbledore has called a complete meeting of the Order.”

“Complete meeting?”

“Yes, even for those in hiding.”

Regulus felt his stomach drop. He would be seeing James again? It had been nearly ten months since he had last seen James. Ten months of stolen conversations here and there on the mirror, ten months of longing, ten months of trepidation, ten months of loss.

He would finally be able to see James again.

“Are you ready?” Moody asked.

Regulus shook himself out of his stupor. “What? Yes, I’m ready.”

“Good, grab on then,” Moody gruffed and he extended out his elbow. Regulus grabbed his elbow begrudgingly and prepared himself for the stomach twisting motion of Apparation, and when he had opened his eyes again, he was looking at an empty piece of land, hanging on a cliff with crashing crescendoing waves.

“Where are we?” Regulus asked, feeling as if he was missing something.

“Oh right, here’s the address.” And Regulus looked down to the stained piece of parchment with an address written on it.

“Shell cottage?” Regulus said and right before his eyes, the cottage seemed to appear as if a veil had been removed from it. It reminded him of the Longbottoms house, but much cosier and slightly more worn down.

“Do you remember Arthur Weasley and his wife Molly?” said Moody and Regulus nodded. He had spoken to them a few times; Molly had disappeared from the field around the same time as Lily. He presumed that she, too, was having a baby. Moody continued speaking. “The cottage was Arthur’s sister’s before she moved overseas; to escape the war.”

“Oh right,” Regulus said. They began walking towards the cottage, already Regulus could see shadows walking past the windows, breaking the orange light filtering out from within.

He began to feel his heart racing, James was inside and so was his brother. Finally, he would be reunited with the ones that he had been fighting tooth and nail to save. He would finally be home. Moody went ahead and opened the door for him and Regulus awkwardly ducked his head through and before he could even look back up, arms were being wrapped around him and he was being picked up from the floor in a hug so tight he feared for his life.

“Can’t— breathe—” he gasped out, instantly he was put down.

“I’m sorry, fuck, I missed you so much Reg.” Regulus looked up at his brothers shining eyes and felt a smile melt away the frown on his face.

“I missed you too,” he replied, forcing the lump in his throat down.

Sirius ruffled his hair, which Regulus did not appreciate, but his indignation fell away when he saw the goofy grin on Sirius’s face.

Someone cleared their throat and Regulus’s eyes found James; Regulus felt the rest of the room disappear, leaving just the two of them remaining.

“Do I get a hello?” he said with a sly grin and Regulus stepped forward, wrapping his arms around James, pulling him flush against his body. James’s arms instantly wrapped around his waist, his face digging into his neck. James seemed to breathe him in for a moment before he said, “hello.”

“Hello,” Regulus choked out and a tear ran down from the corner of his eye. Regulus so desperately wanted to kiss James, but then he was suddenly reminded that they were standing in a room chock full of people.

Regulus reluctantly released his hold around James and sheepishly stepped away from him, everyone was staring at them, a few knowing expressions on their faces. Specifically Lily, who had a bundle of blankets in her arms. Wait no, that wasn’t a bundle of blankets. That was Harry.

Instantly, Regulus stepped towards Lily. “Can I see him?” he asked quietly. She nodded and tipped her arms towards him, showing Harry, who Regulus had expected to be sleeping. Instead, Harry looked up at him with wide curious eyes, the vivid green nearly startling him.

Regulus felt himself laugh. “He does have your eyes!”

“Told you,” she said fondly.

James came up to his side, their hips touching. “Looks just like me, doesn’t he?”

Regulus snorted. “Be glad he has his mother’s eyes then.”

James gained an offended look. “How dare you? My eyes are just fine!”

Regulus and Lily shared a look and wide smiles grew on their faces. James suddenly gained a fond look. “Oh I see, you two have decided to gang up on me, have ya?”

“What, no we haven’t,” Regulus said, but the mischievous smile on his face gave him away.

“Okay, well if you three are finished catching up, everyones in the kitchen with Dumbledore,” said Remus, catching their attention.

“Oh, thanks Moony,” James said, patting him on the shoulder than heading for the kitchen with Lily in toe.

“Hello, Remus,” Regulus greeted warmly.

Remus smiled and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder. “Nice to see you alive, Reg.”

Regulus felt himself grow warm. “Thanks,” he said.

Remus nodded and then turned around, heading towards the kitchen, Regulus followed.

Regulus walked into the crowded room and fuck, Dumbledore wasn’t lying when he had called a full meeting. People who Regulus had only seen in passing were here. They had lost some members during the course of the war, notably the Prewett brothers and the Bones family. The Bones family had been horrifically murdered only two weeks ago.

There were even some people in the room that Regulus had never seen before, he had only really worked in the background until the last month or so when he had joined Dorcas and McKinnons on the ‘front lines’, so some members were unfamiliar for him. Regulus stayed by James’s side, not wanting to lose sight of him and waited for everyone to quiet down.

“Hello everyone, sorry to pull you off your assignments so suddenly. However, I need to make you all aware of one thing. The final battle is to be soon,” Dumbledore said and the room settled.

Everyone remained silent, a knife could have cut the tension in the room, it had grown so thick.

“Severus, would you please enter.”

Regulus was not apart of the gasping sea as Severus stepped out of the dark room into the lit kitchen, he looked paler than the last Regulus had seen him and a pink scar ran across from the left side of his cheek across the bridge of his nose and nearly met at the corner of his right eye.

“Nagini is dead,” Severus declared. His eyes remained impassive as they scanned the room, until they met with Regulus’s, then a spark of victory light his dead eyes.

“That means…” Molly said hesitantly through the quiet murmurings.

Dumbledore nodded. “Voldemort is mortal once more.”

“What do we do now?” James asked loudly. The room quietened as they awaited for Dumbledore’s next command.

“We take Malfoy Manor.”

~

Regulus was holding a mug of warm coffee close to his chest as he and Severus spoke quietly to one another, watching the black waves crash into the side of the cliff, white foam receding until they fizzled away.

“I didn’t know he had managed to get another weapon made of Goblin metal,” Regulus said as he listened to Severus explain how he had killed Nagini.

“Neither did I, but he called me in for a meeting and just handed me the sword and said, ‘do with it what you can’.”

“He shouldn’t have left that on your shoulders Severus, we were supposed to figure out how to take her down together.”

Severus shrugged, and Regulus wondered when Severus had become a stranger in his friends skin?

“It doesn’t matter, she’s dead now. That’s what matters.”

“How did you make it out alive?” Regulus asked, obviously he had not made it out unscathed.

“I might have nicked this from you,” Severus said and he took something out from his pocket… the invisibility cloak! Fuck, Regulus hadn’t even noticed that it was missing.

“You bastard,” he said, but there was no venom behind his words, simply relief.

“How did you even manage to kill her… that must have taken some planning.”

Severus nodded, his face a firm line seriousness. “I had to find an opportunity where she was not with the Dark Lord, he knew we were hunting the Horcruxes, so he refused to let her out of his sight. But for a snake that size, she has to eat sometime and you guys had done an excellent job of thinning out our man power, there was no one left that could be spared to find her food.”

“He had to let her hunt,” Regulus said with realisiation.

“Yes, so he let her out to hunt and sent me with her, as protection. I was his most trusted with Bellatrix and the Carrows dead and I happily obliged. Then, once we had gotten far enough from his senses I took out the sword that I had transfigured into a pen.”

“Must have been one hell of a fight,” Regulus said with astonishment.

“It was. I don’t know how I made it out alive, I had some considerable luck on my side.” Then he frowned, “The scar will always remain, Pomfrey couldn’t do much about it, magical creature and all.”

“I think it makes you look…” Regulus paused, because he was about to say handsome, however he didn’t want to make it look like he was flirting with Severus.

“More mysterious,” he said instead, yes that was a better word to use.

A small laugh left Severus’s mouth and Regulus relished in it, now that sounded more like his friend. “I’m glad then, I find it quite… morbid to look at.”

Regulus shook his head. “Your scar is a medal Severus, it shows what you did to end this war, to end him.”

Severus looked to Regulus, his eyes deep pools of darkness. “You know, sometimes I wonder where the old Regulus went,” he said and Regulus frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“When I knew you at Hogwarts, you were this unapproachable and frigid boy, not allowing those close to you know who you truly were; you felt like a cold breeze when in passing. Then, when the war began and we were brought closer by joining the Death Eaters. That cold breeze became a storm, unyielding and treacherous.”

 Regulus held his breathe, the crashing waves became background noise as the sound of his pounding heart filled his ears.

“But after you joined the Order, the ice melted away. Even if things only got harder, you somehow… became softer. That’s how you convinced me to join the Order; to turn on him. I wanted to melt my own snow too.” He     turned away, staring into the darkness. “But it seems I have only created an endless winter within myself.”

Regulus began talking before he could even think. “You have changed too, you used to be so naive and hopeful for the future. You joined the Death Eaters to find a place where you belonged, you followed blindly and rarely thought is this what I truly want? But then, you learned who you were, Severus. You have been hardened by a war, a war that took away that childhood innocence and replaced it with brutal reality. But I wouldn’t say there is an endless winter within you, Severus.” Regulus turned from the stoic man, lines of endless stories on his face. “You simply forgot what good the world can provide. As I had.”

“How did you remember?” Severus asked quietly.

Regulus turned around, staring at the cottage where the people he loved were safe within.

“By loving again.”

Regulus left Severus there to think and he walked back to the cottage and stepped through into the warmth.

“Welcome back,” James said as he entered. He was resting on the couch lazily, but there was something tense about him.

“Where is everyone?” Regulus asked, noticing how considerably quieter it was.

“Most left; the others are upstairs, putting the kids to sleep.”

“Good,” Regulus said and then he strode over to James and without any hesitation planted his lips straight onto James’s. James made a small noise of surprise, which was enough for Regulus to pry his mouth open and slide his tongue into his mouth. Regulus pressed deeper, running his tongue along James’s, drawing moans out of that beautiful throat of his. Regulus surface and pressed James back into the couch, straddling his waist.

“I’ve been wanting to do this since I saw you,” Regulus sighed out and he ran his hands down James’s chest. James leaned his head back and Regulus couldn’t resist any longer, he latched his lips right where his adams apple lay and sucked and bit lightly until all that was left was a redding love spot.

“Regulus,” James moaned out and Regulus lifted his head and pulled James’s head back down to join their lips back together. Soon enough, James began to grind against him, their growing erections desperately needed placating, however a noise from upstairs ripped Regulus’s lips off James’s and he looked to the hall, begging that no was coming downstairs. Regulus sighed, as he heard the first tell-tale thump of someone descending down the stairs and he slid off of James’s lap and strode into the kitchen, were hopefully he could reheat his coffee and kill his throbbing erection.

“Oh, James are you still waiting for Regulus?” Lily’s voice asked, Regulus began to boil some water in a pot.

Regulus heard James clear his throat. “He’s in the kitchen.”

“Oh good, I was about to fetch him if he stayed out for too long, otherwise he would have caught a cold.”

“I’m not a child,” Regulus called out.

“I’m still a year older than you!” Lily called back.

Regulus shook his head, he would never understand that woman. Regulus heard Lily approach and he decided to grab another mug, might as well be polite, thankfully he was only half hard now, but he strategically shifted his robe to cover the front of him.

“How was Sev?” Lily asked quietly. Regulus turned to her and thought about what he should say and how much he could tell her.

“He’s… lost. The war isn’t quite over yet but they know that he’s a traitor now, he’ll have to stick with us from now on and I think he feels…”

“Like he’s missing out on something?”

Regulus nodded. “Yeah, he’s had to be this perfect Death Eater for a year in order to stay alive Lil,” Regulus thought briefly where that name had suddenly come from, he pushed the thought aside. “And now, he doesn’t know how to let all that go, he doesn’t know how to be himself again.”

“What did you tell him?” Lily asked, tapping her finger nervously against the kitchen counter.

“I told him, that he needed to learn to love again,” Regulus said and he turned to the stove to take off the boiling pot of water to pour it into the two cups.

Lily didn’t say anything for a while, just stared at the counter whilst Regulus made them coffee. It was only when he slide the coffee cup in front of her did she react.

“He hurt me a lot during the last year of Hogwarts, he became a person that I didn’t know.”

Regulus nodded and didn’t anything, letting Lily continue.

“We knew each other before Hogwarts, did you know that? He lived down in Spinners End, whilst my family lived in the ‘affluent area’ but I hated living there, so I used to sneak to the playground at Spinners End and play with the kids there. That’s how I met Severus.” She took a sip of drink, her eyes catching a far away look. “We just… felt pulled towards each other and every chance I could, I would sneak off to meet him. Then the day before I got my Hogwarts letter he said to me quietly, ‘I won’t be seeing you all the time anymore Lily, I’m going to boarding school.’ I was heartbroken.” Lily sighed and took another sip, Regulus did the same, letting the warm liquid warm his chest.

“I thought that was the end of us honesty, then came the day I boarded the train and there was Severus, awkwardly saying goodbye to his mother. We were still close, even if we got put into different houses—”

“But then came the war,” Regulus finished.

Lily nodded. “Blood purist’s started gaining a voice and I think Severus was scared, being surrounded by those who were pure blooded when he was only half, he started to distance himself from me and then… he began to say some truly horrible things to my friends.”

“Your friends were no innocents, Lily,” Regulus said, recalling the bullying Severus received from them.

Lily gave Regulus a pleading look. “I know! I know they bullied him, pulled at his strings until he would say something horrible so they could use his words as excuses for their bullying. But still, I know he meant some of things he said about Muggleborns.”

“I’ve said countless things that I will never be able to take back, Lily. Unlike some, Severus admits his faults and he’s learning to change them,” Regulus said.

Lily turned and stared at the door, Severus would still be out there, staring stoically out into the ocean. She looked as if she wanted to join him.

“I’m scared,” Lily said quietly. Regulus stepped up beside her, he noticed James watching from the corner of his eye, his eyes stormy with emotion.

“Of what?”

“Of letting him in again; what if he breaks my heart again?”

“You have people here who will pick the pieces up, we’ll fix you,” Regulus said without hesitation.

A small smile turned up the corner of her lips. “I’ll be back, thanks for helping Reg.”

Regulus smiled. “No problem.”

Lily walked to the door and opened it, closing it softly behind her. Regulus turned to James, who was staring at him… with an emotion Reg was afraid to identify.

“Regulus, I am unequivocally in love with you,” he said.

Regulus couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s how you say it? Unequivocally?”

James stood from the couch and Regulus swallowed his laughter. “You make me feel insane. How did you make me love again, James?”

“I don’t know, but fuck, am I glad I did.”

Their lips collided, this time James took charge and soon enough Regulus was begging into James’s lips. James trailed his lips down his neck, leaving his skin feeling as if it small tiny fireworks were being set off wherever his lips touched.

“James, we can’t, someones going to find us,” Regulus gasped out quietly, James bit harder in response.

James lifted his lips off his skin. “Let’s go downstairs to the basement, it’s been set up as a room.”

Regulus was very okay with that idea and they hurried downstairs, adrenaline and desire thrumming through their veins.

It didn’t take long for them to divulge themselves of their clothing and to collapse onto the rickety bed. Regulus, before his mind melted away casted a locking and silence charm on the door and then dropped his wand onto the bedside table, allowing James to crawl over the top of him and latch his lips back onto his neck.

“Fuck, I want you so badly,” James said hoarsely and Regulus lifted his hips up, showing James just how much Regulus wanted him too.

Unlike the first time, James did not waste anytime getting Regulus prepared, with a hurried lube spell he grabbed Regulus stiff erection with one hand and began pumping it slowly, a bead of pre-cum released from the head of Regulus’s cock and James leaned forward, darting his tongue out to lick it up. Then without a moment’s hesitation, he slipped his index finger past the quivering muscle of Regulus entrance. Regulus moaned out and lifted his hips, moving the finger deeper within him.

“James, more,” Regulus gasped out and James immediately sped up the pumping of his finger until he was relaxed enough for another. It took longer than Regulus had wanted to, but eventually he was writhing so aggressively around James’s fingers that James relented and extracted his fingers, leaving Regulus whining at the loss, but it didn’t take long before his fingers were being replaced with something much more.

Regulus gasped out as James penetrated him, it was only painful for a moment until he felt deliciously full. James wrapped his hands around Regulus’s hips to hold him still as he pounded unrelenting into him. Regulus could not contain his voice any longer and he was practically screaming as James pounded into him.

“Fuck you’re so tight,” James grunted as he leaned over Regulus, releasing his one hip to take his hand and link their fingers together. James’s eyes were shut with pleasure, but when he opened them to look at Regulus they were so full of love, that Regulus felt his chest grow tight.

“I love you,” James said, his pounding slowed and turned into a rocking rhythm, Regulus keened, lifting his head back as an electric zap of pleasure traveled up through him as James’s angle hit that spot just right. James continued on, his initial speed had embered away into a slow build of pleasure, and Regulus felt his entire body alight with the love he felt for James. James leaned his head over to their conjoined hands, which was the same arm that contained the mark, and he kissed along the snake tattoo before using his tongue to lick a long stripe over it, causing a shiver to overcome Regulus.

“James,” Regulus moaned with all the emotion that he was feeling, James looked back down to him, his heavy breathing paused as he took in a breathe.

“I love you,” Regulus said and James’s lips were instantly on his. The kiss wasn’t as heated as before, but it made him swell with love as Regulus translated every swipe of his tongue, every moan, every clench of his hands.

James lifted himself up and grabbed both of Regulus’s hips again. He picked up speed and made sure that with each thrust he was hitting Regulus’s prostate, eliciting cries from Regulus until his voice grew hoarse.

“James, I’m close,” gasped Regulus and his hand went to his leaking erection.

James took Regulus’s hand away and replaced it with his own. Regulus arched his back into James’s touch and his breathing turned into gasps, with each stroke that James did he was getting closer and closer to completion and falling deeper and deeper into madness.

“Cum for me, love. I know you can,” James said hoarsely and Regulus did just that. Sparks flared behind his closed eyes and his hips lifted off the mattress as release finally found him, he cried out so loudly that he was sure that someone would have heard him, but he did not care. James’s thrusts lost their rhythm as he got closer to his own orgasm and his hand stopped pumping Regulus’s oversensitive cock. 

Regulus was beginning twitch from over stimulation but he wanted to feel James release in him, he wanted to one with him. He leaned forward and grabbed his shoulders, deepening the angle of James thrusts and then he squeezed his muscles tight around James’s cock.

This was James undoing and he came with a cry, he thrusted three more times into Regulus before pulling out with a groan and collapsing beside him.

“Fuck, I think that was worth the wait,” James laughed breathlessly and Regulus nodded in agreement. They were sweating and overheated, but James still pulled Regulus close and held him to his chest.

“I can’t wait for this war to be over,” he said quietly into his hair.

Regulus looked up into James’s eyes. “Me too,” he said and they softly kissed before gently pulling apart.

“I don’t care what others might think, should we just stay here the night?”

Regulus contemplated, it would basically confirm to the entire household that they were in fact, in a relationship and for once; Regulus didn’t care if they knew.

“I’m too exhausted to move, so yeah, lets just sleep here.”

James smiled brightly and he cleaned them up quickly with his wand and then pulled the blankets over them. Regulus rested his head on James’s chest and allowed his heartbeat to lull him to sleep.

In the morning, Regulus woke up uncharacteristically well rested, warm and unwilling to get out of bed. There was a comforting pressure coming from behind him and he groggily realised that sometime during the night he and James had changed into spooning positions.

“James,” Regulus croaked out as he turned around. James was still sleeping soundly and Regulus poked his chest.

“James,” he said again. “It’s time to wake up.”

“Hm no, I don’t want to wake up,” James mumbled out and he pulled Regulus flush against his chest.

“James!” Regulus tried to pull away but he was suddenly so warm and comfortable that he quickly lost the energy to do so. “Fine, five more minutes,” he said and then he closed his eyes, his breathing becoming even.

Regulus woke again to a loud pounding. “Oi lovebirds, lunch is ready!” the voice said and Regulus horrifically recognised that voice to be Sirius.

Regulus shot up and looked down to James who had barely stirred. “James!” Regulus whisper shouted and he began shaking James until he cracked his eyes open.

“Hm whats going on?” he asked, his voice seductively hoarse for a moment like this.

“My brother is outside that door, wholly aware of what we did last night,” he explained and this time James began to look awake.

“Oh, fuck,” James said.

Regulus nodded, this was indeed an oh fuck situation.

Regulus quickly took the silencing charm off the door and yelled out, “we’re coming!” to Sirius. He waited to hear the footsteps of his retreat to get out of the bed and hurriedly dress.

“Maybe staying in here overnight wasn’t such a good idea,” Regulus said, James had only moved to a sitting position and was reaching down for his pants.

“Maybe it’s a good thing, we don’t have to hide us now,” he said, his voice hopeful. Regulus turned to him and felt all of his protests crumble. James looked so content and happy with himself, that it was hard to tell James no.

“Perhaps…” Regulus said, still not set on the idea.

“It’s not like we have to suddenly parade us around, just more like, we don’t have to pretend.”

Regulus felt himself relax. “I think I can get with that,” he said.

James beamed a smile at him and said, “You reckon?”

Regulus couldn’t help but mirror his smile. “Yeah,” he said.

When they climbed upstairs, Regulus was met with a cheery looking Remus, a grumpy looking Sirius, a neutral Severus and a humming Lily.

“Good morning you two,” she greeted. Regulus cleared his throat at James came up behind him, looking as if he had just had sex the night before.

“Good morning,” he said, willing himself to not blush like a moron.

“So, when were you going to tell your best friend that you were fucking my little brother,” Sirius said whilst glaring at James and Remus groaned.

“Sirius what did we talk about?” he said in a chastising tone.

Sirius glared at Remus. “I don’t bloody care what we talked about, I had a right to know before I was told by Sniv— uh Snape over here that they were downstairs in the basement, together.”

“Sirius, they didn’t have to tell you anything until they were ready,” Remus said and Regulus was suddenly very glad that he was sticking up for them.

“How long?” Sirius asked James instead, ignoring Remus.

James gained a sheepish look.

“How long?” Sirius repeated himself more firmly.

“Sincenovemberlastyear,” he said quickly under his breath.

“What?” Sirius said sharply.

James took a deep breath and straightened himself, Regulus gave him a pleading look, silently begging James to not tell him.

“Since November last year,” he said confidently.

Sirius’s face reddened. “A year, a whole bloody year and you didn’t tell me!” he shouted. Lily instantly threw a tea towel at him.

“Shut up! The babies are sleeping upstairs.”

Sirius slightly calmed down then and no longer looked as if he was going to throw the butter knife he was holding at James.

James opened his mouth as if he was about to defend himself, but Regulus stepped forward, cutting him off. 

“I love him, Sirius. You don’t understand how I much I need him, so I don’t care how angry or protective you want to be, I won’t leave him.”

Regulus could feel James’s eyes bearing into him, but he ignored him for the moment, simply grabbing his hand. “He’s my anchor, Sirius. Please, you have to understand that.”

Sirius suddenly calmed then and turned to Remus, Regulus realised that Remus must have taken his hand.

“I think he understands,” Remus said quietly. Regulus swallowed and waited for his brothers reaction.

Sirius sighed. “Argh fine, fine! You two can be disgustingly in love, okay?”

Regulus smiled, he was going to be with or without his brothers permission, but he was happy to have his approval.

Lily cleared her throat. “Can we have breakfast peacefully now?” she said.

“I’m starving,” James groaned out and he settled into a seat, Regulus went with and it was surprisingly Severus that gave him a sympathetic look.

They all begun to dig into the piles of toast and large pan of scrambled eggs, Regulus was famished and he ate almost as fast as James. Severus he noticed, merely picked at his food.

“Sev, you okay?” Regulus asked and Severus looked up, he seemed shocked for a second but that was quickly covered by a mask of indifference.

“I’m fine, why do you ask?” he said.

“Because, you’re not eating.”

Severus looked down at his plate. “Just not feeling hungry, thanks for the food Lily but I shall excuse myself.” Then he got up and strode away out the front door.

Regulus worriedly stared at Severus’s abandoned plate and wondered what he should do. Should he go after him and pester him until he told Regulus what was wrong or should he give him some space? He obviously had a lot going on his mind right now.

“I’ll go see to him,” Lily said and Regulus gave her a grateful look as she got up and left for the front door.

“Do you think…” James said quietly to Regulus and he shook his head.

“It’s not what you think it is; Severus is not… inclined towards…” Regulus didn’t know how to finish his sentence, but James seemed to understand what he was trying to say anyway.

His eyes widened with realisation. “Oh right,” he said.

“Damn, are we all gay or something?” Sirius said and Regulus was acutely reminded that he and James were not the only ones at the table. James barked out a laugh.

“I still like chicks, you’re brother just managed to win me over,” he said cheekily and placed his arm over the back of Regulus’s chair. Regulus poked his elbow into his ribs.

“Ouch!” James cried out, rubbing his ribs.

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Don’t be such a baby and besides it’s good to know that I managed to win you over,” he said, stabbing his fork into his eggs with exaggeration.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” James said quickly and Regulus smirked. Hook, line and sinker.

James noticing Regulus’s smirk instantly relaxed. “Don’t be an arse,” he grumbled with relief.

“You deserve it,” Regulus said playfully and James gave him another cheeky smile.

“ARGH!” Sirius suddenly exclaimed and Regulus jumped.

“Whats wrong?” James asked.

“You two are disgusting, take all that yuckiness out of here before I stab my eyes out.”

“Dear, please don’t be so horrible,” Remus said calmly as he finished his mouthful of food.

“I’m not, they are!” Sirius said, but Remus must have kicked him from the under the table because he soon calmed.

Sirius stood, his fork clattering against his plate. “Fine, I’m going for a walk.” Then he looked to Remus. “Join me?” he asked.

Remus shoveled the last bite of food into his mouth then stood. “Sure.” Then they were both out the door.

James slid his foot seductively up Regulus’s leg. “Keen for round two?” he asked.

Regulus took his hand. “Quick, before they come back.”

~

It was a month of pure bliss, a singular month of learning James’s body again. A singular month of bonding with Harry (and of course Neville and Ron). A singular month of growing closer to his brother, to Remus, to Lily. A singular month of helping Severus remove the mask he used to protect himself.

Until they were cruelly reminded that they were in the middle of war.

“Quick, Severus hand me the healing potion!” Lily cried out and she pressed the rim of the potion bottle against Marlene’s bleeding lips. Marlene was non reactive as the potion liquid went down her throat. Regulus was just relieved that she didn’t cough it up.

“Do you have any more?” she asked Severus desperately.

“Lily, you can’t give her anymore, her body will go into shock otherwise.”

“Fuck, Regulus go get me some clean damp cloths, we need to stop this bleeding.”

Regulus nodded and quickly headed for the kitchen, he was only shaking slightly but he quickly used his Occlumency skills to centre and calm himself, to send away the worries and the fear into a box to be opened later when he was needed. Which he was.

Regulus returned with the cloths and helped put pressure on the bleeding wounds. Marlene had two horrible wounds that desperately needed professional medical attention. One on her stomach and another right below her ribs. Fuck, he should have been practicing his healing magic not rolling around in the sheets with James.

“How much more healing can she survive?” Lily asked Severus, who seemed to be the most knowledgeable about these things.

“I can heal the wound on her stomach, but I’m going to have to stitch up the one under her ribs, and she’s going to need a blood-replenishing potion, but I don’t have one here. I’m going to brew one —which will take me two days— or risk going to the Manor to get my stash from there.”

Lily seemed to contemplate her options. “Lets do what we can for now, the blood replenishing potion can wait a moment right?”

Severus gave her an unsure expression. “I don’t know, she’s lost a lot of blood, Lily.”

“Just!” she took in a deep breath to calm herself. “Do what you can do.”

Severus nodded and he took Lily’s place and began to heal Marlene, the wound on her stomach slowly but surely began to stitch itself together, now it was just the one under her rib that needed desperate attention.

“Needle and thread?” Severus asked and Lily pulled out her wand.

“Accio medical kit!”

Regulus watched as the bright green medical bag came shooting down from upstairs and into Lily’s hands. She quickly opened it and took out what Severus needed. She wordlessly handed him the supplies and Severus took them with confident hands. Regulus decided that he didn’t want to be here and watch Marlene’s skin being stitched together, so he took the dirty cloths back to the kitchen to clean the blood from them.

He wished James was here, but he had been sent off with Sirius and Remus as backup, the Ministry group had been unexpectedly ambushed, so far, Marlene was the only one to return severely injured. Regulus returned with the cloths cleaned and instantly helped clean up where he could, Severus was thankfully nearly done and some colour was returning to Marlene’s skin.

Severus stood up straight and gave Marlene a worried look as he checked her pulse. “She’s going to need more blood,” he said.

Lily looked down at Marlene, her face crumbling with worry.

“You know, Grimmauld Place has a potions lab, maybe there’s already some blood-replenishing potions there? It was used to make some medicinal potions, once.”

“But, isn’t it currently being used as a Death Eater safe house?” Severus questioned.

“It is, but with what’s happening at the Ministry right now, I doubt there would be anyone there and I would still be registered in the wards; my mother would never take me off.”

“Are you sure?”

Regulus nodded. “She wouldn’t have disowned me, I know she still thinks I will return to her.”

“How about I ask Kreacher to go? It would be safer.”

Severus seemed to think it over. “Does he know what he should be looking for?”

Regulus hesitated. “I’ll admit my father didn’t like the house elves to mess around in the basement.”

“Then, it might be better for us to go, we can be in and out in a matter of minutes.”

Regulus looked to Marlene, her shallow breathing stuttering. “Lets go,” he said.

They side-apparated to Grimmauld Place, right onto the doorstep and Regulus waved his wand over the doorknob, checking for any traps. Confident that it was safe to do, he grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. The wards remained intact. Severus made to enter but Regulus quickly stopped him. “Wait! There could be some more traps.”

Regulus casted another identifying charm and a spark of blue came out of his wand, he sighed in relief. “Okay, it’s safe, lets go.”

They stepped past the threshold and into the house, it was deathly quiet and Regulus hoped to Merlin that it would remain to be until they were safely away.

Severus must have been here a few times, for he avoided the screaming portraits with ease and followed Regulus down into the basement. Regulus waved his wand in front of a concealed wall and it turned around to show rows upon rows of potions.

“This is a bit more than some,” Severus said with amazement.

“Yeah, my father was a bit potions fanatic,” he said.

Severus quickly began identifying the potions that he wanted to take and soon enough he had a bag full of them.

“Alright let’s go,” Regulus said and they were just about to walk back up when a figure at the top of the stairs caused them to come to a halt.

Regulus quickly casted Protego.

“Come back to steal from your own home?” the familiar voice said and the figure, a silhouette of darkness, began walking down the steps, his face becoming clearer until Regulus realised who it was.

“Peter,” he said, unable to keep the shock out of his voice.

“Long time no see Regulus, oh and hello Severus.”

“Let us go, we don’t need to fight,” Severus said, aiming his wand at the smiling Peter. He looked so very different than the last Regulus had seen him. He looked… as if he had lost his mind.

“No, I think a fight would be quite nice actually,” Peter said with a crazed smile.

Regulus held the Protego shield up firmly, waiting for the onslaught, but none came. That was when realisiation dawned on him.

“Severus… he’s stalling us.”

“What?” Severus said, not turning away from Peter.

“Voldemort’s coming, he’s stalling us until he gets here!”

Peter’s smile grew wider. “Oh, very good Regulus, that was a lot quicker than I expected.”

“Fuck, we have to get out of here, now!”

Regulus lowered the shield and Severus instantly reacted, throwing a nasty Entrail-Expelling Curse, but Peter blocked it with his own shield charm.

“I think I would like to stall you two for a moments longer, if you don’t mind?”

Regulus than had a brilliant yet incredibly stupid idea. “Severus, you need to get those to Marlene. Promise you will go?”

Severus turned to him for a second. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you won’t come back for me, promise me Severus.”

“Regulus—”

But before Severus could say anymore Regulus casted a blasting curse at the wall by Peter, the explosion of rock caused his shield charm to falter, then Regulus was barreling towards Peter and bodily tackling him to the floor. Peter growled, his wand still in hand and he tried to hit Regulus with a curse that he barely avoided.

“Run, Severus! Get out of here!”

Severus hesitated.

“RUN!” Regulus screamed and Severus with one last desperate look at Regulus ran past him up the stairs. Peter struggled but Regulus held him down just long enough to see Severus make it up the stairs. Then he aimed his wand, hoping to hit Peter with a stunning hex, but he was too late, Peter was quicker.

“Petrificus Totalus,” he cried out and Regulus felt his whole body stiffen against his own will and he began to fall backwards, then Peter grabbed his arm. 

“Oh, the master is sure going to have a fun time with you,” Peter growled, then with a satisfying smile Peter released his arm and Regulus could do nothing as he fell backwards.

~

When Regulus awoke, he first recognised the pain throbbing in every bone, every fibre of his being. Then he noticed that he could move his body once more.

“I see that you have awoken,” his voice said and Regulus felt a curl of disgust form itself in the pit of his stomach.

“Just kill me and be done with it,” Regulus croaked out, a cough overcame him and blood splattered onto the grey stone.

“No, I think I would like to have some fun first,” Voldemort said and Regulus lifted his head to watch as Voldemort stood and towered over him.

“Lots of fun…”

Regulus only remembered pain from that point.

~

Marlene would be okay, but was the cost worth it? Severus wasn’t sure.

~

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LEFT HIM?” Potter roared, his face red and his eyes wide with terror.

“He…” but Severus didn’t know what to say, he was still processing what had just happened.

“He’s dead, oh Merlin, he’s dead,” Potter said then and he stumbled back against the wall and slid to the floor.

Severus didn’t believe that, not for one second. “Potter, they’re not going to kill him… at least not right away.”

Potter looked at him, his eyes shining with tears. “How do you know?”

“Because they like to do that, hold those we love to torture. We still have time,” Severus said, trying to convince Potter as much as he was trying to convince himself.

Potter suddenly gained a determined look.

“Then we go.”

~

Dumbledore was not happy with their plan to storm Malfoy Manor that night, but no one would listen to him. They had Regulus and they would get Regulus; do what they must.

“Fine, then call the rest of the members, we attack tonight.”

It took the two hours to get everyone for a meeting. Severus anxiously waited in the kitchen, waiting for Dumbledore to begin. With each second that passed, it was another second they were risking Regulus’s life, another second they were leaving him in pain, leaving him to the desires of Voldemort.

It was difficult to listen to, for Severus wanted to just storm the Manor himself and cast anyone aside who dare stop him, but he knew that would impossible, so he listened as the Order began their plan to take Malfoy Manor and finish the war; to save Regulus’s life.

Eventually, they had a solid plan. They would split into three teams. Team one would take the eastern side, second team would take the northern side and then the third team would take the front of the manor. Severus, having spent most of his time at the Manor knew enough about the wards to disable them long enough for the teams to get through. However, it was only a very small window that he could supply at the risk of most of his magic.

“Alright, lets go,” Moody said, he would be leading the front team, Black and Potter were going with him. Lily had wanted to come, but somehow, Potter had managed to convince her to stay behind with Alice Longbottom; in case they didn’t come back.

Severus would be going with Moody’s team, they would be able to protect him whilst he worked at the wards. Hopefully, he could give them enough time to storm the Manor.

They apparated about a block away from the Manor and got with their designated groups, Severus began to feel the mask of indifference fall into place, he needed a leveled head for this, he couldn’t afford to think about himself or others, he could only think about Regulus.

They began jogging towards the Manor, its looming gates warning those to not come close, Severus prepared himself to ignore that warning. However, before they could even reach the gates, a spark of red went into the air, they must have set a watch, in expectance what was going to occur tonight.

“Sirius and James watch our blind spots; Snape, I hope you know what you’re doing,” Moody said in usual growl.

Potter and Black jumped into action and Severus began working away at the wards, he recalled the memory of Regulus explaining to him how wards work and the implicit flaws that they had. Severus then began to target those flaws, his magic flowing out of him like sap flowing out of tap. Severus nearly jumped when a spell ricocheted off of Potters shield charm.

“Better hurry up there Snape,” Potter called out to him and Severus bit back a remark, he couldn’t work any quicker no matter how much he wanted to. Severus struggled to gain a hold on the ancient words, they kept slipping through the binds of his magic, sweat began to bead at his brow but he couldn’t even afford to wipe it away. Severus ignored the flashes of magic from both of their sides and put Moody’s barking orders into the back of his mind.

“Come on,” Severus said under his breath, once again trying to pull just one strand of magic under his hold, but it felt like trying to pick up sand, it kept falling between the holes in his magic.

“We’re being surrounded Snape, you better hurry up!” Black said this time. Severus snarled and pushed more magic forth from himself, pressing the boundaries of his limits. There it was! He had managed to get a strand under his grip. Severus quickly began chanting the incantation that Regulus had only ever taught him once, it was a very difficult spell, extremely precise, but it allowed to break the strands of magical ward, no matter how strong it was.

The ward snapped and then faltered. Severus instantly zoned in on the weak spot and began working on the next ward, his wand began to slip in his clammy grip, but he held on tighter. He was going to save Regulus, whether he had to give his life to do so.

~

“It seems your friends have come to save you,” Voldemort said to Regulus, but he was so encapsulated in his own pain that he barely registered what he had said.

Voldemort ended the Cruciatus spell and Regulus went still. He still felt as if he were under the spell, with pain blinding everything, obstructing all thoughts and removing all will to live. However, it was less dull than before and his brain began to understand what Voldemort had said.

His friends were here.

He was going to live. Regulus shifted and lifted his head as he watched Voldemort stride out of the room.  Regulus didn’t know if he could move if he was being honest with himself, he was so encapsulated by his pain that his body was begging him to remain still, to not aggravate his wounds any further. Regulus forced himself into a sitting position, his survival instincts pushing him into action. He had run out of adrenaline long ago, which meant now he was pushing through with the sheer will to live. The singular thought, I have too much to live for now, running through his brain.

Regulus dragged himself to the nearby table and used the edge of it to pull himself up. He could feel that he had a twisted ankle, and when he applied pressure to it, his entire body panged with pain, but it was nothing in comparison to the Cruciatus curse, so he pressed down on his foot once again and this time grunted through the pain as he took a small step forward. That step was followed by another and then another until soon enough he was at the door.

He grasped the handle and cursed when it wouldn’t give, it had been locked. Time for plan B then. Regulus hobbled his way to the other door which would lead to the servants quarters, this door was locked as well, but Regulus knew that all servant doors had small emergency buttons on them and he pressed his finger around the bottom of the round handle until he felt for a small button, which he pressed in. He turned the handle and this time it turned, allowing him to open the door.

Regulus stared dreadfully at the spiral staircase and braced himself for what he was about to do, the first step was agonising and his knee nearly locked up, Regulus desperately regained his balance and this time went slightly slower, pressing his hand against the smooth wall for some balance. It took longer than Regulus would have liked, but he finally managed to get to the bottom of the stairs and was met with a long corridor. The same corridor he had used to escape the Manor that night he had been exposed. Regulus made his way around in the darkness easily and opened a door that would open to the eastern grounds of the manor.

Regulus wasn’t sure how he had done it, but when the bright red spell came shooting towards him, he miraculously managed to dodge it by throwing himself to the ground.

“Regulus?” a voice blessedly familiar said, and Regulus looked up to find Dorcas looking down at him, her face a mix of shock and relief.

“Oh, Merlin I nearly killed you!” she exclaimed, she cast a shield charm around them then went to Regulus, helping him off the ground. “Fuck, you look like…”

“I’ve died and come back again?” Regulus said, holding back a wince as he pressed down with his foot. Dorcas noticed his pain anyhow.

“Tell me what hurts the worse and I’ll fix it, but I’m low on magic so I can’t do too much.”

“My foot, I can deal with the rest,” Regulus said.

Dorcas nodded and aimed her wand at Regulus foot, the healing magic drew a relieved sigh out of him.

Once she was done he moved his ankle in a circular motion, besides for a slight ache, he would be able to walk just fine now.

“Thanks,” he said gratefully and when a spell bounced off Dorcas’s shield, they knew they had to begin moving.

“Do you have your wand?” Dorcas asked as they began jogging towards two people, Regulus recognised them to be Arthur and Frank.

“No, bastards took it and I have no idea where it went,” Regulus explained.

“It’s fine, we’ve taken out a few Death Eaters; here let me see if I can Accio one, it’s better to have a shitty wand than not one at all.”

Regulus nodded, he would take any wand right now, fucking hell, he would even take Voldemorts.

Dorcas lowered her shield briefly and then she performed the summoning spell, a wand came flying at her at full speed and she caught with ease.

“Here, can you use it?” she said whilst handing him the wand. Regulus took it and instantly felt some resistance; the wand didn’t know him, but Regulus tightened his hold on the wand and firmly cast Protego. The wand obliged, albeit begrudgingly, and the shield appeared—weaker than Regulus would have liked, but it would do.

“Alright, we’re trying to push our way through to the courtyard, that’s were most of them have gathered, can you manage?”

Regulus nodded, adrenalin was beginning to pump through his veins again, pushing the rest of his pain to the back of his mind. He would be able to fight for a little whiles longer.

“Good, lets go then. Arthur and Frank we’re heading in!” Dorcas called out and they turned to face Dorcas then when they noticed Regulus both of their faces broke into relieved smiles. They joined them quickly and Frank patted him on the back briefly.

“Glad to see you alive, kid,” he said.

Regulus only gave him a smile and turned back to the task ahead, this was it now. This was the volcano erupting; the means to an end.

This was the final battle.

Their momentary reunion came to a startling end.

“On your left!” Dorcas cried out, but she was too slow, the curse hit Frank straight in the chest.

Frank fell to the ground and his full body began to twitch, his eyes wide with agony, his mouth open as he screamed in agony.

“Frank!” Arthur cried out and he dropped to the ground beside him, already casting diagnostic spells, his eyes widened with horror.

Regulus wanted to turn back, but the battle was getting heavier and he needed to join, he needed to make sure his friends, his lover would make it back out alive. His heart broke as he turned to Dorcas and blocked out the noise of Franks dying screams.

“Dorcas, leave them, we have to go,” Regulus cried out to her and he grabbed her hand.

Dorcas turned to him, tears shining in her auburn eyes, but she quickly wiped them away and steeled herself.

“Let’s end this fucking war,” she growled and they began sprinting this time towards the throes of the battle. Regulus couldn’t even remember what spells he had used throughout the battle, but somehow he managed to push his way through with Dorcas until they had gotten to their side of the battlefield.

“Regulus?” A voice cried out and Regulus turned to find James charging towards him, shooting out spells as he went; Regulus didn’t think he had ever seen James look so beautiful in his life.

“You’re alive,” he said with relief and he pulled Regulus into a quick hug before releasing him unless they both die.

“I promised I would always come back to you, didn’t I?” Regulus said, holding his shield up firmly.

James looked down at him, a dazzling smile temporarily blinding Regulus.

“Yes, yes you did.”

The battle continued you on, and Regulus looked for his friends, Severus he was relieved to find still alive, Sirius and Remus were holding steady too.

Suddenly then, a shadow fell over the battlefield and the Death Eaters fell back, the spells ceased.

“He’s here,” Regulus heard Dorcas say. Regulus did not have to ask who he was.

The Death Eaters then formed a line as their master joined them, Regulus felt his hand twitch as the memory of his torture jolted through him.

The Order began to part too as Dumbledore walked through to the front of the line, that was when Regulus noticed the corpse of Moody by the feet of Sirius and Remus, his singular eye still open, staring up at the twinkling stars above. Regulus silently hoped that he had found peace with his death.

When Regulus turned back to look at the Death Eaters he began to count the bodies, they had lost more than they had. Peter Pettigrew still stood though. Regulus vowed to kill that rat.

“Albus! How nice of you to join us,” Voldemort said loudly. Regulus grasped James’s hand.

Dumbledore raised his wand. “I hate to do this, Tom,” he said.

Voldemort’s red eyes flashed with anger. “YOU WILL DIE HERE AND NOW ALBUS DUMBLEDORE!” he roared and Regulus watched as Voldemort casted the Killing Curse in seemingly slow motion. Regulus’s heart stuttered and he was sure Dumbledore was about get hit, when instead, he simply side stepped it.

The air was still.

“You dare?” Voldemort sneered but before he could begin to cast the Killing Curse again a spell shot from the tip of Dumbledores wand and Voldemort went stiff as a board. The Death Eaters turned to him, their eyes wide with shock.

“Do something you idiots!” Voldemort roared, but before the closest wizard could do anything—which was Lucius Malfoy— he dropped to the ground; dead.

Regulus turned to find that Dorcas had hit him with the Killing Curse.

“That bastard was the one that killed Frank,” she said, her voice thick with fury. The battlefield was alight once more with spells and the Death Eaters began to drop one by one, either dead, mortality injured or simply stunned.

Regulus himself began to use the stunning hex, it was easier to cast and he was beginning to feel exhausted now. Thankfully, James was still full of energy and made up Regulus falters.

Dumbledore and Voldemort continued to duel in the midst of the battle and the Order began to advance forward. Soon enough, those Death Eaters that were left began to surrender themselves, dropping their wands to the ground and falling onto their knees, those were quickly restrained and stunned.

“Tom, you have lost, it is time to give up,” Dumbledore said and Voldemort —who had broken out of the binding spell— sent a deadly glare to the only Death Eater that remained by his side. Peter Pettigrew.

James instantly reacted before anything could happen. “Peter, you don’t have to do this!” he cried out. Peter turned to him and Regulus felt a pit of dread form in his stomach, this was no longer the Peter that James remembered, there was no second chances left for him.

“James, stop, you can’t save him,” Regulus said, taking a hold of his hand.

James looked at his former best friend and Regulus felt that pit grow into a hole.

“James, don’t do it, please,” Regulus begged, but he felt James’s hand untangle from his. James stepped forward and raised his wand at Peter.

“I challenge you to a duel,” he declared confidently.

Regulus felt his heart stop. “James no!” he cried out. But it was too late, the damage had been done and Peter stepped forward, a vicious smirk on his face.

“Duel accepted,” he said, stepping forward. James and Peter faced each other, mere metres between the two. Regulus held his foreign wand tight. He didn’t care if it would be breaking dueling wars, one sign that this would all go wrong and he was going to step in. When he looked briefly to the side of him, he saw that Sirius and Remus looked to be thinking the same thing.

The two circled each other for a brief moment before it was Peter casting the first spell, it bounced off of James’s shield harmlessly.

“Peter, there is still a chance for you to turn back,” James said and Regulus felt his heart constrict, why had he fall in love with such a naive idiot? Oh, but wasn’t that why he had fallen in the first place?

Peter merely laughed. “Oh, James. You never change do you?”

James’s shoulders stiffened. “Actually, I do.”

Before Peter could react, James’s spell was already hitting him in the chest and his face morphed into an expression of horror as his whole body erupted into flames.

Regulus was suddenly speechless.

“NO!” Voldemort roared and Regulus’s body reacted before his mind did. “Avada Kedavra!” he screamed and the spell hit Voldemort in the chest.

“No!” Voldemort gasped out, his body seemed to resist the spell for a heart-stopping second, but then he fell, his corpse falling into the singed grass.

The war was over.

~

One Year Later

Regulus watched fondly as Harry began to unsteadily walk towards his fathers open arms, his bright green eyes beaming with unfiltered happiness. Regulus sipped his coffee and watched it all unfold, his heart bursting with so much love that sometimes it frightened him.

“Thats it Harry, you’ve got it!” James said excitedly and Harry made a happy noise as he made it to James’s arms, falling into his lap.

“What a big boy you are!” James said affectionately and he lifted Harry up into the air, a small line dribble landed straight onto his nose.

Regulus snorted into his coffee.

“Alright, I think it’s bedtime time for you, and I think this times it’s papa’s turn,” James said, Regulus rolled his eyes and took Harry from James.

“It’s actually your turn, I put him down last night.”

James stuck his tongue out at him, knowing that he had won. Regulus sighed and tucked Harry onto his hip.

At first, Regulus had been frightened of Harry and kept him at an arms length, letting James do all the parenting, besides Harry had Lily as well, he didn’t need another parent. But it didn’t take long for Harry to wiggle his way into Regulus’s heart and now he couldn’t consider Harry anything but his son. The world didn’t feel right otherwise.

Regulus got Harry ready for bed by changing his nappy and putting a new onesie on him, this one had blue and white dinosaurs on them; Lily had apparently gotten them from a Muggle store. Regulus picked out a book to read to Harry and he sat down in the rocking chair by his crib, getting himself comfortable.

“Once when I was six years old…”

Regulus stopped reading about three pages in, Harry had fallen fast asleep, his dummy hanging half out of his mouth. Regulus gently plucked it out and put it next to his head and then went downstairs to James.

“Dead asleep,” he announced as he walked into the kitchen.

James kissed him on the cheek. “Congrats, you put a sleepy baby to bed.”

Regulus pouted. “How dare you downplay my accomplishment.”

James laughed lightly. “Sorry love, good job. I’m proud of you.”

Regulus turned from his kiss. “Nope, now I’m upset with you.”

James made a sound of disbelief. “Oh? Is that how it’s going to be?”

Regulus stared at him from the corner of his eye. “Yes. Yes it is.”

James swooped in and picked him up bridal style, Regulus clutched onto his neck. “James!” he exclaimed. He hated when James did this.

“Say you love me and I’ll put you down.”

Regulus stared at the solid ground and wondered if his pride was worth it. He looked back to James and felt himself flush.

“I love you, you great big blundering idiot.”

James smiled wide and swooped in, planting a sloppy kiss onto Regulus’s lips. “I’ll take it,” he said and then he put Regulus down gently.

Regulus then stiffened as a shot of pain traveled up his leg and spread throughout his entire body. He gasped out and clutched the counter with his hands, clenching his jaw as the pain drew his muscles tight and made it feel as if every nerve he owned were being set on fire. James waited patiently for the nerve attack to finish and then when Regulus’s muscles released the tension bunching them together he gathered Regulus into his arms.

“That was your second one this week,” he said quietly. Regulus simply breathed into his shoulder, willing the tears of pain to return to his eyes.

“I know,” he replied.

“I really think you should get checked up at Mungo’s again, they can help you.”

Regulus straightened himself and turned away from James. “I already went, last week. There’s nothing they can do.”

James took his hand and gave him a careful look. “Nothing?”

Regulus sighed and squeezed his hand. “Too much nerve damage, they’re surprised that I’m even sane or moving at all. They said they can give me pain relief for the episodes, but that’s about it.”

“We’ll find another doctor than, surely there’s something that they can do!”

“James, I don’t want to be some medical experiment for a doctor, I just want to experience life with you and Harry and all the others. I don’t want this to control my life.”

“But you’re in pain!”

Regulus sighed once more. “I can manage it and it’s only bad during the attacks, the pain is barely there most of the time.”

James frowned and his eyebrows drew together. “I don’t like that you’re in pain; the war is meant to be over, you’re not meant to be suffering still.”

“I’m not suffering, this is the happiest that I have ever been!” Regulus said, trying to convince James of the truth.

James didn’t look convinced. “One more doctor, for me?”

Regulus’s shoulder’s dropped, but if it would make him happy, then fine he would see one more doctor. “Fine, one more.”

James smiled then and Regulus felt relief flood through him. “Good, now lets go to bed, I’ve been good all day.”

Regulus laughed. “Good my arse!”

“Oh, you want to bottom tonight?” James said cheekily.

Regulus only replied with a smile and began leading James to the bedroom.

~

Severus had known that he would not be the same at the end of the war, but what he didn’t know, was that he would find new reasons to continue on living.

“Severus can you help me with these bags!” Lily called from the front door and Severus stopped the stirring of the pasta sauce he had simmering away on the stove.

“How much did you get?” Severus said as he saw the numerous bags on the floor by the door.

“I don’t know, I don’t think I got enough to be honest. We’re having everyone over Severus, there’s a lot of mouths to feed!”

“Lily, relax, they’re not going to be expecting a three course meal.”

Lily took in a deep breath and her shoulders minutely relaxed. “I know, its just this will be the first time we’ve all been together like this again. I can’t help but feel a bit nervous.”

Severus took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, she gave him a grateful smile. “Tell me, what would I do without you?”

“You’d be starving for one, I didn’t know how much of a shit cook you are.”

Lily laughed and Severus felt a bloom of warmth grow in his chest. “If you weren’t gay, I think I would have proposed by now!”

“Uh the woes of being homosexual,” Severus said dramatically and then he picked up one of the brown paper bags and began taking it to the kitchen.

“When does Harry get back?” Severus asked he placed down the bag on the counter.

“Tomorrow night, I asked James if he would have him for an extra day so I can prepare for the dinner without having to worry about him.”

“Fair enough, also that reminds me, I think James will be proposing soon.”

Lily gave him a shocked expression. “What!” she exclaimed.

“I saw him in the jewelery shop at Diagon Alley yesterday, but you were so busy running around preparing for this dinner that I forgot to mention it.”

“Oh, I hope he doesn’t do it tomorrow, Regulus will be mortified!”

Severus gave her a knowing smile. “No, I don’t think he will be doing it tomorrow.”

~

Living without your other half was an experience that Alice did not think that she would ever have to experience. Frank had been her light in a dying world. Her guiding star in the night, and when he had died. She did not know which direction she should walk.

She forgot how to smile, how to laugh, how to love. But then, her son promptly reminded her how to one night.

“Mama,” he said quietly, almost tentatively, as if he was afraid that he had said the wrong thing.

Which wasn’t right. Frank wouldn’t have wanted Neville to speak like that, he would’ve wanted his son to have said his first word excitedly, happily, joyously.

Yet here he was, a fourteen month old afraid of making his mother cry.

Alice wiped the tears already falling from her cheeks and looked to her son, properly, for the first time perhaps since Frank had died.

“Yes, love, mama,” she said and then she smiled.

Neville returned the smile tenfold. “Mama!” he said again, clapping his hands.

Alice leaned down and picked up her son that looked too much like his father. “What a good boy! Can you say dada?” She kept the tears at bay.

“Dada!” Neville said and Alice smiled, watery and weak, but she did not let the tears fall.

“That’s right, aren’t you clever?” Alice held her son close, squeezing him as she hugged him. Neville did not squirm or resist and when Alice went to pull him away she realised that he had fallen asleep.

Alice sat down on the couch and held her son.

Perhaps she had lost her guiding star, but that did not mean the sky had suddenly become empty.

There were still stars that could lead her.

Chapter Text

Like constellations a million years away,

Every good intention

Is interpolation, a line we drew in the array.

Clinging to the faces,

Clinging to the shapes in the silence. 

Constellations, The Oh Hello's

Burning Constellations

It had taken a long time for Regulus to feel like he could have a future. It had taken for the nightmares to cease to once a week, it had taken until he felt safe to go outside without his wand in his grip, it had taken until James was no longer awakening him from nightmares. But, eventually, one day he awoke and thought about what he wanted to do now. Now that he no longer felt as if death were inevitable.

Regulus is stirring sugar into his tea when James envelopes him from behind and places a feather light kiss on the back of his neck.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, placing his chin onto his shoulder.

“I’m thinking about what I’m going to do now,” Regulus replies truthfully.

“Now?” James inquires.

“It’s been over a year now since the end of the war, James.” Regulus pauses and turns around in James’ arms. “I’m thinking about what I want to do with my future, with my life.”

James’ eyes are bright with love. “You don’t know how long I have been waiting for you to say that to me,” he says. He squeezes his arms tighter around Regulus and brings him closer until he is flush against his chest.

“I can’t wait to see what you’re going to do,” James murmurs into his ear and kisses him on the cheek. “You’re going to do brilliantly!” he says with a beaming smile. Regulus can’t help but reciprocate it.

“I hope I do,” he replies.

It is two weeks later when Regulus is visiting Sirius. Regulus has heard that Sirius has been keeping himself busy these days. After a quiet conversation with Remus over some tea in the kitchen, Regulus is relieved to know that he isn’t avoiding anything in particular. He seems to be genuinely enjoying the time he is spending in the garage, tinkering away at Muggle apparatuses.

“I think this is his version of healing,” Remus says to him and Regulus realises that he is right.

Remus somehow gets Sirius to emerge from the garage at lunch time and they eat a pleasant meal. Sirius catches up on Regulus everything he had been up to since he had last seen Regulus (which was only two weeks ago) and Regulus does the same. Once the food is finished though, he asks Sirius to sit again. Sirius’s eyebrows crease together with worry and he sits down.

“Is everything okay?” he asks.

Regulus instantly smiles, washing away Sirius’s worry. Remus, also seeing that everything seems to be fine, heads off to the kitchen with their plates.

“Sirius, I wanted to ask you something,” Regulus begins and Sirius gives him a ‘get on with it’ expression.

“I know technically you have been taken off the family tree, but you are still considered the heir. What I wanted to ask was, would you allow me to become the Head of House?”

Sirius eyebrows rise in surprise. “You want to become the Head? Why on earth would you want to do that?”

“I want to make some changes, Sirius. Changes that are better for the future. I want to reform our house, if you would allow me to.”

Sirius leans forward, his face rigid with seriousness. “You don’t have to save everyone, you know, including that house. You’re going to have to face her again. Father might be dead, but she still holds power within that house. Also, I do not think Cygnus is going to sit still, I wager he will come out of hiding just to bare his teeth at you.”

 “This is not some whim or saviour act, I’ve been thinking about this for a while.”

“I don’t want you to shoulder it all on your own, Regulus. Merlin knows you’ve had enough of doing that.”

Regulus quickly shakes his head. “I won’t, I have you and James and everyone else. I promise, if things begin to become too hard, I’ll reach out.”

Sirius leans back in his chair as he speaks. “You really are serious about this, aren’t you?”

Regulus nods firmly. “Yes, I am.”

Sirius sighs and Regulus knows that he has won. “Alright, fine, let's head to the Ministry tomorrow and make it official.”

Remus walks back into the room, wiping his hands with a cloth. “What are you making official?” he asks.

“Love, I would like to introduce you to the new Head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black,” he says dramatically and Remus turns to Regulus with shock on his face.

“You want to be the Head of the House?” he asks.

Regulus nods. “It’s time to make some changes, Remus.”

Remus snorts. “I think we’ve done enough, but if Sirius supports you, then I guess all I can say is good luck.”

Regulus smiles. “Thanks.”

When Regulus gets home that night, James is happily waiting for him at the door. Regulus' mind instantly imagines a dog and he can’t help but smirk as he closes the door behind him.

“So, how did it go?” James asks, and Regulus almost sees a tail wagging excitedly behind him.

“Heading to the Ministry tomorrow,” he says with a smile and James instantly pulls him into a hug.

“See, I told you he would say yes!”

Regulus laughs and pulls away from the hug. “Well, you can’t blame me for being a bit nervous. He still holds a lot of guilt for leaving me.”

“We’ve all done a lot of growing up this past year,” James replies and Regulus gives him a smile.

“Yes, yes we have.”

The next day begins Harry’s weekend with them and Regulus spends the day entertaining an inquisitive toddler. Regulus usually likes to head over to Alice’s on the weekends he has Harry, partially to check up on her as he does every week, but also to give Neville someone to play with.

So on Sunday, Regulus packs Harry’s day bag and with a goodbye kiss from James, heads off to Alice’s. Regulus and James live in central London, the hub of Muggle London, while Alice has moved away towards outer London, opting to live in a Muggle Borough. For this particular trip, Regulus waves down a taxi.

A taxi pulls up in front of them and Regulus gets in with a polite greeting, strapping in with Harry on his lap. Unknown to the Muggle taxi driver, Harry is wrapped in protective charms, meaning if any accident were to occur, no harm would come to him.

Once Regulus gives the taxi driver Alice’s address, he plays a quiet game of eye spy to keep the toddler engaged. When they arrive, Regulus hands over the fee along with a tip and climbs out of the car, Harry already clapping excitedly, recognition in his eyes. “Auntie!” he says excitedly and Regulus nods with a smile.

“Yes, we’re here to see Auntie Alice and Neville.”

Harry squeals with excitement and wiggles, giving Regulus no choice but to put him down and let him head towards Alice’s door. He heads towards the door, following behind and lifts Harry up so that he can press the doorbell.

The doorbell rings and Regulus hears footsteps near the door. The door swings open and it’s Alice’s face, drawn and haggard.

“Regulus!” she says, a smile lifting up her face. Regulus gives her a smile as well and Harry rushes forward, wrapping his arms around Alice’s leg.

“Auntie!” he says excitedly and Alice looks down, a loving smile on her face as she pats him on the head.

“And hello to you too, Harry.” Alice opens the door wider and Regulus enters. With this not being his first time being here, he doesn’t need Alice to lead him through to the lounge-room where Neville is playing with a pile of blocks and a toy that appears to be Muggle. It lights up and plays weird sounds when he hits a colourful button.

“Hello Neville!” Regulus greets and Neville looks up at him excitedly, instantly lifting his arms up. Regulus puts down the bag he is carrying and then lifts Neville up, squishing him into a hug.

“Are you being a good boy?” Regulus asks, and Neville nods.

“‘Arry!” Neville shrieks when he spots Harry. Regulus quickly puts the boy down and soon enough the two toddlers are babbling with each other in their own baby language, Neville showing Harry the Muggle toy he was playing with.

Alice smiles at them fondly and then looks up at Regulus. “Tea?” she offers.

“Love one,” Regulus replies and she heads into the kitchen. Regulus follows and he seats himself at one of the barstools.

“How have you been?” he asks.

Alice sighs, filling up the electric kettle then clicking a button that lights up.

“I’m tired. Neville was up all night; he wasn’t sick or anything, he just refused to sleep. I’m hoping playing with Harry will tire him out. I don’t know what’s up with him.”

“Sorry, that must have sucked,” Regulus says with sympathy. He understands those sleepless nights all too well.

“I can take him off your hands if you need some sleep. I don’t mind having Neville for the night.”

Alice quickly shakes her head. “No, I’ll be fine, I’m sure he will sleep tonight.”

Regulus, more stubborn than Alice, says, “Well, send an owl if you need me.”

Alice gives him a tired smile, knowing there would be no point in trying to fight him. “Okay, I will.”

The kettle finishes boiling and Alice hands Regulus his tea, just the way he likes it. Regulus is suddenly reminded of the days where they would spend early mornings or late nights at her cottage drinking tea, sharing little pieces of their souls in order to remain alive during the all too draining war.

“Thinking about our nights at the cottage?” Alice asks, leaning her hip against the counter and blowing her on her tea.

“How’d you know?” he asks.

“You make this face when you think about the war,” she explains and Regulus glares at her.

“I don’t make a face,” he says with indignation.

Alice snorts into her tea. “Yes, you do.”

Regulus rolls his eyes. “Whatever, might be a change of subject, but I have some news,” Regulus says, placing down his tea on the counter.

Alice’s eyes widen. “Oh, what news?”

“So, I am officially the Head of House Black.”

Alice gives him a shocked expression. “You’re kidding?” she says.

Regulus laughs. “Afraid not. But this is what I want, Alice. I want to fix the past of hatred that my house is known for. I don’t want the cycle to continue.”

“You’re afraid you’ll become like them if you don’t,” Alice says.

Regulus feels his chest constrict and he looks down at his tea. “Perhaps, but I also feel like there’s more I can do. I don’t want to be known for just killing someone, I want there to be greater change. I want Muggles to continue to feel safe, half-bloods to not be looked down upon.”

Regulus hears Alice audibly breath in and he looks up at her. She’s gained a faraway look, one full of sadness and grief.

“Frank wanted to do the same, that’s why he joined the Order in the first place.”

“Perhaps you could help me then. It’s not going to be easy trying to reform a house that hasn’t changed in hundreds of years.”

A spark appears in Alice’s eyes, a spark that reminds him of the old Alice, an Alice that had yet to know death and grief. 

“I think I will take you up on that.”

It doesn’t take long for Regulus to realise that he can only do so much without facing his mother. Walburga is more than a formidable woman, she is a deadly woman. Regulus, under all wizard law, is the Head of the House of Black. However, there are a few heirlooms he needs in order to actively take the role. That means facing his mother.

Regulus hasn’t returned to Twelve Grimmauld Place since he left almost two years ago, and frankly he is terrified to go back there. But something in him knows that he should go; he learned long ago that there is no running from his past.

Regulus settles into bed with James. James takes off his glasses and rolls over to his side, propping himself up on his elbow.

“What you thinking about?” he asks.

Regulus turns to him. “I was thinking about going to Grimmauld Place,” he says.

James’s eyes widen with surprise. “Like… soon?”

“I think I’ll go tomorrow. If I keep putting it off, I will never go.”

“Do you need me to come?”

Regulus gives him a thankful smile. “No, I think I should go on my own, this is something that I have to do.”

James scoots closer, drawing a hand up Regulus’s ribs, then to his back, pressing himself closer. “You will call for me if you need me?”

Regulus smiles, drawing closer and pressing his nose into the crook of James’ neck. “I will, I promise.”

Regulus breathes in James’ smell, letting it soak into him until his eyes grow heavy and his breathing steadies. When he awakens, their positions have shifted and Regulus is resting on James’s chest. Instantly, he’s tuning into the beating of his heart, letting it lull him back into a shallow sleep. When he awakens again, James is stroking a hand down his hair. Regulus rubs his nose into James’s chest, which earns him a chuckle.

“Good morning, love,” says James, pressing a kiss on the crown of his head.

Regulus yawns. “Morning.”

“I’ve got to get up soon, got practice.”

“Argh, why did you decide to become a quidditch coach, again?” Regulus groans, but he rolls off James and lets the man get up.

“Because I’m too rich to need to work, but I can’t stand the thought of being bored at home all day,” James says with a smirk and Regulus throws a pillow at him.

“Whatever, just get ready before I drag you back into bed.”

“Oh, want me back in bed, do you?” he says with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Regulus throws the blanket off of himself and proudly displays the tent in his pants.

“You know I do,” he says, feeling his pants grow tighter as James’s face darkens with arousal. James creeps towards him, bending down and running a hand up his thigh, bordering just where Regulus wants them to be.

“You have me convinced,” he says and then Regulus gasps with pleasure.

Regulus, sated, rolls off of James and lets the last of his orgasm thrum through him. James breathes out heavily and eventually gets himself up with a groan.

“Now I really don’t want to go to work,” he says and Regulus only replies with a smirk.

“Adulthood and its responsibilities, what a shame.”

James trudges around the room. Eventually, when Regulus finds the energy to get up himself, James is dressed and places a kiss on Regulus’s head.

“I’ll see you later, call me if you need me, okay?”

Regulus nods and kisses him lightly on the lips. “I will.”

When James leaves, Regulus gets himself ready, taking his time, trying to delay the meeting with his mother as much as possible. However, eventually, he’s aware that he must go; for if he doesn’t go today, then he may never go at all.

Regulus dresses in his best robes and wears his hair slicked back. He had long ago stopped doing this hairstyle, but finds that it is probably wise to try and create a pure-blooded impression for his mother. He has to choose his battles, and how he looks is one that he is willing to lose.

It is around noon when Regulus finally musters up enough courage to step outside the wards of their apartment and find himself an alley to Disapparate from. Regulus, breathing quickened, thinks about where he wants to go and with a flick of his wand, disappears and appears in front of Twelve Grimmauld Place.

Staring at the front door of his old home feels ominous. He isn’t sure how he is going to go about this. He had thought about multiple different ways he could approach his mother, and each and every scenario had left him more bruised than accomplished.

Gathering his courage, Regulus walks up to the black door with its chipping paint and lifts up the heavy silver door knocker, letting it drop back down with a resounding clang. The door opens moments later, Kreacher’s frail elf body greeting him with a bow, before he lifts his head up and his wide eyes widen even further with shock. 

“Master Regulus!” he says with surprise and instantly a smile lifts up Regulus’s lips.

“Hello Kreacher, how are you?” Regulus asks and Kreacher seems to relax.

“Kreacher is well, master, but your mother, she is…” Kreacher rings his hands together and suddenly looks nervous.

“What’s wrong with her?” Regulus instantly asks and he pushes past the elf and into the house, all trepidation suddenly gone from his body. Kreacher follows behind, saying nothing as Regulus weaves through the house; since he has left, it seems to have fallen apart even further. The house, as powerful as it is, needs more than one magical inhabitant to keep it alive, and going by how dilapidated it looks, his mother’s magic must be deteriorating rapidly.

Regulus finds his mother in the sitting room. She’s sitting in her favourite armchair and a blanket is wrapped around her legs.

“Mother,” Regulus begins, but she lifts up her hand. It’s pale and thinner than he remembers it being.

“What are you doing back here?” she asks; her voice is the same as before, cold and calculating.

“I…” Regulus doesn’t know how to respond all of a sudden. Seeing his mother so sick has thrown him off.

“You’re sick,” Regulus says and his mother’s eyebrows draw together. “Very.”

Walburga coughs into her hand and Regulus draws closer. “Sit boy, before I make you,” she says once her fit is over and Regulus tentatively sits on the couch opposite her.

“Why are you here?” she asks, leaning forward to grab her teacup. It’s not a moment later when Kreacher pops into the room and hands Regulus his own. Regulus takes it with a thankful smile and Kreacher leaves with another pop.

“I’m here about the inheritance,” Regulus says as calmly as he can.

“Why are you coming to me for that? Sirius is the Head of House.”

“Actually, that is what I’ve really come to talk to you about.”

His mother gives him a calculating look. “What do you mean?”

“I want to become Head of House, mother. Rather, I want to reform this House.”

His mother laughs; it’s cold and crude and if Regulus hadn’t spent most of his entire life building a barrier around his heart, it would have pierced right through it. Instead, he places the cup down with a sigh and looks up to his mother.

“You know I am not one for jokes, mother,” he states.

Walburga eyes him. “You are serious then? After everything, you want to come crawling back here?”

“I am not crawling back here. I’m trying to begin a new chapter in my life.”

“Why? I hear that you’re living quite a nice life for yourself with that man of yours and his half-blood child.”

Regulus sneers. “You will not speak of Harry that way! You can talk all you want about me, but you leave my family out of this.”

Walberga picks up her tea and takes a sip before saying, “Oh, no need to get your feathers ruffled, I won’t speak of them again.”

Regulus relaxes minutely. “Good. Now back to what I was saying. Sirius has agreed to pass on the title to me. In fact, we have already made it official with the Ministry, but you mother, carry the signet ring that I need to access the Black family vault.”

“Oh, I see. Well Regulus, your dear mother will not just be handing you the ring. You will have to do something for me first.”

Regulus sighs, he expects these games from his mother. “And what will that be?”

“I want you to help me repair Grimmauld Place. I can’t pass on knowing the disrepair that it is in, but as you can probably tell, I don’t have the magic to fix it.”

Regulus hesitates. Doing so means that he will have to spend a significant time here, and he isn’t sure if he is prepared to do that. He has a lot of memories in this house, and most of them aren’t good. Walberga gives Regulus some time to think and she continues to drink her tea. Soon enough, her cup is empty and Kreacher is returning to refill it.

Regulus finally answers his mother. “Okay, I will help.”

Walberga gives him a small smile. “Good, you can start upstairs then, there’s a growing nest of Doxies growing in Sirius’ room.”

Regulus nods and gets up, wanting to get the work done quickly so that he can leave. He enters Sirius’ room and finds it much the same as he remembered it being, besides for the disrepair of the drapes and the dust that has collected everywhere. Sirius’ single bed is squashed into the corner of the room and the walls are covered with Quidditch posters and pictures from Muggle magazines. Regulus remembers when Sirius had put them up, in defiance of their mother who had begun to be more open about her hatred for Muggles. The posters are faded and curled on the edges, still hanging on with magical tape.

Regulus shrugs off his cloak and quickly casts a cleaning spell on the bed before placing his cloak onto it. Then he heads over to the drapes which are shaking with Doxy activity. Armed with his wand, Regulus gets to work casting the Knockback Jinx. It takes about an hour of work until he finally finds the Queen. It nearly bites him before he hits it in the face with the Knockback Jinx, making it fall to the floor with a loud thump. Regulus sighs with relief. Breathing hard and sweating, he makes his way downstairs. Kreacher herds him into the kitchen and gives him some ice cold water which Regulus greatly appreciates. 

He places the cup into the sink and has a brief flashback of when Kreacher had given him water after he had taken the locket. The moment feels so long ago yet Regulus can remember it as if it had happened just yesterday.

“Master?” Kreacher asks with concern and Regulus shakes himself out of it. He turns to Kreacher with a comforting smile.

“I’m fine, Kreacher,” he says.

Kreacher gives him a relieved look and he prepares some sandwiches for him. Regulus doesn’t have the heart to decline, so he quickly eats at the kitchen bench and then heads back into the sitting room where his mother still is..

“The Doxies have been taken care of,” he declares. He begins to head for the door and summons his cloak to him, which he had forgotten upstairs.

“Well, I guess that will be all for the day. When will you be back?” Walburga asks, and Regulus pauses.

“Expect me in the next few days,” Regulus replies, and then with one last look at his withering mother, heads down the hall and out the door, Disapparating from the doorstep.

Regulus ends up back in front of his apartment and he steps through the door. Instantly, he relaxes and lets the tension lift from his shoulders. He heads into the living room which he finds empty. With a quick check of his watch, he realises that he had only been at his mother’s for about two hours and it was in fact lunch time. James should only be getting home in a moment.

Regulus decides that he will have a shower to get all the dust and Doxy residue off of him. After his shower, Regulus heads downstairs in a baggy old shirt of James and some cotton pants, fully planning to spend the rest of the day lazing around reading books and maybe doing some accounting work. It’s not their week with Harry, so he doesn’t have to worry about picking up the kid from preschool today.

Regulus has just got himself comfortable on the couch with a cup of tea and a book in his lap when the front door bangs open and in comes James, muddy and looking tired.

“Hello love,” Regulus greets. He doesn’t bother to move, he isn’t going to go near James until he cleans himself up.

James turns to him with a surprised smile. “Oh! You’re back. How was it?” he asks as he heads to the closet under the stairs and places his broom into it.

“Better than I expected, actually. She was… pretty polite.”

James raises his eyebrows at him. “Wow, really?”

Regulus laughs. “Yes, really, especially after I told her to not talk about my family.”

James only chuckles. “Regulus, I think it should have been expected that she would have something to say about us.”

Regulus sniffs with indignation. “Well, I didn’t want to hear a word of it.”

James only laughs and heads up the stairs. Regulus hears the shower turn on and he settles further into the couch, opening up his book which is a murder mystery by some Muggle author. The book had caught his attention at the local muggle bookstore just down the street.

The stairs creak about twenty minutes later and James, smelling of soap and his apple scented shampoo, places a kiss on Regulus’s forehead before heading into the kitchen. Regulus continues on reading and is only disturbed again when James crawls onto the couch and begins to worm his way onto his lap. With his wand, he turns on the telly that they had gotten at Arthur’s encouragement.

Regulus shifts so that James can get more comfortable and moves his book so that it’s now rested on the armrest to his left.

They don’t speak as they relax, simply enjoying each other’s company. It’s only about an hour later when Regulus closes the book and looks down to James’s mop of raven hair.

“How was practice?” Regulus asks, and James turns his head to him.

“Good, the kids are getting better at their formations and I think I might have found myself a seeker.”

“Never realised how intense junior quidditch is,” Regulus says with amusement and he places a kiss on James’s lips just to keep his ego intact.

“You’re so funny. If I get another one of those, I might just forgive you.”

Regulus smirks. “Is that right?” he says and he leans down to press a more firm kiss onto James’s lips, leading the kiss until James’ mouth opens and the kiss deepens.

Soon enough however, Regulus’s neck begins to protest the position and he has no choice but to separate from James. Regulus looks down to his lover; his eyes are dark with lust and his mouth is beginning to redden. Regulus suddenly craves something much more than kissing and with an abrupt motion, he has James’s head off his lap to straddle him.

James’s hands instantly grab onto his waist as Regulus leans forward and latches his lips onto his neck, biting and sucking until he leaves a pink mark that is deepening in colour by the second.

James is making all sorts of delicious noises as Regulus works down to his chest, licking along his collar bone and nibbling for a second before getting James to take off his shirt. Once the shirt is off, Regulus continues attacking with his mouth. He finds one nipple and bites it lightly until it is swollen and hard, then moves onto the next. James begins to writhe beneath him, trying to rub his erection against Regulus, but he firmly stops him with his thighs.

“None of that now love, stay still for me or I won’t give you what you want.”

Regulus continues on with the torture. James has stilled now, the only part of his body moving are the clenching and unclenching of his hands on Regulus' hips. Regulus moves himself down further and further, until he is sitting on James’s thighs and is face to face with the tent in James’s pants.

“Fuck, you’re killing me here,” James whines and Regulus looks up at him with an evil smile.

“Well, guess I better perform the final blow.”

James groans, partially in exasperation and partially in anguish. Regulus slowly pulls down James' pants, who breathes in sharply in response, and then begins to pull down his underwear as well. James stays still throughout and Regulus feels a sharp jolt of desire and possessiveness run through him. Nothing turns him on more when James, usually the one in control, the one that has Regulus mindless with arousal, listens to Regulus so aptly.

However, Regulus is beginning to feel his control thinning and he knows he has to start moving faster if he wants to keep this going. Regulus licks a long stripe up the length of James cock, who replies with a deep moan from his throat as one of his hands comes up beside his head to clutch the armrest. Regulus licks away a bead of salty pre-cum before swallowing him whole.

James gasps and a hand curls into Regulus’s hair, tightening as Regulus begins to bob his head up and down in a steady rhythm that quickly becomes James’s undoing.

“I—” James gasps. “I’m close.”

Regulus keeps the same rhythm; however, with his jaw beginning to ache, he starts moving the hand he has holding the base of James’s cock along with his mouth.

Regulus can feel James’ thighs beginning to twitch and he knows that he is using all the control he has to not thrust into Regulus’s mouth. This thought nearly makes Regulus cum himself, but it’s shut off when James cries out and his release spurts hot and salty into his mouth.

Regulus swallows and then releases him with a wet pop. James is breathing hard, his face red and his eyes closed. Regulus is on the verge of cumming and he can’t wait any longer, so he pulls himself out swiftly and begins to jerk himself off, all while looking at the utter mess he has caused James to become. He cums, spurting over James, his cum splattering onto James’ torso. James opens his eyes and his cock twitches with arousal; Regulus can’t help but smirk.

“Fuck, that was amazing,” James says breathlessly.

Regulus breathes out as the last of his orgasm leaves him. He waves his hand over them and their mess disappears.

“Show off,” James grumbles, and Regulus merely shrugs. Perhaps it was rare, but he didn’t think his use of wandless magic was really something special.

Regulus gets off of James so that he can sit up and he pulls up his pants as he stands up from the couch. Regulus feels almost sad to see them return, but he feels sated for now. They could continue later on tonight.

“Merlin, I’m starving. Have you had any lunch?”

Regulus nods. “Yes, I ate at mothers. I can fix something for you if you like?”

James shakes his head. “No, after that, you deserve to stay on that couch and relax for the rest of the afternoon.”

Regulus chuckles but he does position himself back into a comfortable position, finding his book that had fallen to the floor.

Regulus has returned to the world of his book when James returns and hands him a warm cup of hot chocolate.

“Thanks,” he says; he wraps his hand around the mug and sighs with relief. He hadn’t realised how cold it had become.

James replies by kissing him on the head and then gets to work on the fireplace; soon, the room starts warming up. Regulus summons a blanket and sticks his nose back into his book. He lifts his head back up again when James wraps his arms around him.

“Want some dinner?” he asks and Regulus looks at him in surprise.

“Was I reading for that long?” he asks. The darkening horizon outside his window is evidence of the passing time. 

“Yeah, I thought it would be best to leave you alone though. Dealing with your mother must have been tiring.”

Regulus gives him a grateful smile. “Thanks, love.”

“It’s no problem. Now, do you want to run and get some takeout? Some Thai?”

Regulus’ stomach grumbles. “Thai sounds brilliant.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back then.”

Regulus nods and James puts on his muggle winter coat and heads out the door. The Thai place is about ten minutes away, so Regulus decides that he’ll do some tidying up whilst he waits. The kitchen looks like a cyclone has gone through it, so he gets to work there, using his magic to wash the dishes but wipes the counters down by hand. The cleaning doesn’t take long with the help of magic, and he heads up stairs to tidy up the mess James had made when he had taken his shower.

By the time he heads back downstairs, levitating a pile of clothes in tow to be put into the laundry, James is shuffling in through the door, shaking snow off his shoulders and rubbing his shoes on the doormat.

“You better spell yourself dry, I have just cleaned up,” Regulus says in warning.

“Yes sir,” James says and when he enters the kitchen, his shoes are off and there is no puddle of water at the door. The gift of magic continues to keep on giving.

Regulus shoves the clothes into the washing machine and starts it on a cycle. Usually, house chores were a House Elve’s duty, but since they didn’t have one, Regulus and James had researched how the Muggles went about to clean their clothes and were opened up to the world of technology. Regulus had quickly come to love his washing machine and dryer; he especially loved the smell of the washing powder that they used.

After the machine’s cycle has begun, he heads back into the kitchen and his stomach rumbles as the smell of Thai food enters his nostrils.

James gets out some dishes for them and they both serve what they want. Regulus settles onto the couch with his food and James comes soon after, turning the telly on with a flick of his wand. They sit in silence whilst they watch the telly and Regulus’s plate is quickly cleared until he gets up for seconds.        

By the time they head for bed, Regulus is so tired that he barely manages to clean his teeth and change into his nightclothes, before crawling into bed and curling up under the blanket. James soon gets in after him and he wraps his arms around Regulus, drawing him close. Regulus puts his arm around him and nuzzles into his chest.

“Night James,” Regulus says with a yawn.

“Night, love,” James replies and kisses him on the forehead.

Three days later, Regulus returns to Grimmauld Place, unexcited. He knocks on the door once again and Kreacher greets him with an enthusiastic bow.

“Hello Kreacher,” Regulus greets and he steps through.

“Kreacher is happy to see Master Regulus again!” Kreacher beams. 

Regulus finds his mother in the sitting room once again, looking the same as she did three days ago, black hair pulled back into a stiff bun, her blue eyes piercing straight into his soul.

“Welcome back, Regulus,” Walburga says and Regulus only nods.

“What would you like me to do?” Regulus asks immediately. Not interested in having a conversation with her. 

“There’s a Boggart in the wardrobe in your room, you can deal with that for the day.”

“Alright,” Regulus says and he heads back up the stairs. He isn’t sure how he feels about going back to his old room. His room had been his safe space away from everything, especially after Sirius had left. He hesitates at the door only for a moment before he opens it and steps inside. The room is in the same disrepair as Sirius’ was; the desk in the corner is covered in the same paper and quills as he had left it. He goes to it and picks up one of the papers; it’s some homework from his Hogwarts days, work that he never got to hand in.

Regulus remembers the day he had left his bedroom and had fully expected to never return. He had left school in order to join the Deatheaters and his mother had never been more proud of him for it. But then, he had turned and began to work for both sides. However, soon enough even all of that had come to an end. Regulus thinks back to what had occurred in the basement, and his capture by Peter Pettigrew. He shivers and thrusts the memories to the back of his mind. There was no use in thinking about that right now.

Regulus sighs and lets the paper fall back to the desk, disturbing the dust. He turns to the rest of his room and takes out his wand when he heads to the wardrobe. As soon as he opens the door, he has Riddikulus on the tip of his tongue, but the Boggart turns not into a deep pool of water as he had expected; for that had been what his Boggart turned into last time he had faced one. But that had been when he was fifteen, still innocent, still young. 

Instead the Boggart turns into James, pale and still on the floor, eyes wide open yet not moving. Regulus gasps and goes to his knees. He reaches out to touch him, but before he can he quickly remembers where he is and what this is. 

“Riddikulus!” Regulus cries and the Boggart transforms into a clown, but not for long. The Boggart resists and transforms again, this time into a dead Sirius. Regulus grits his teeth and cries the spell again. The cycle continues, the people dearest to him dead at his feet, and no matter how much Regulus tells himself that it’s not real, by the time he expels the Boggart, he falls to the ground in a shaking, sweating mess.

He can feel the panic attack forming yet he has no energy left to stop it. So, Regulus lets it overcome him, shaking hard and breathing violently; he squashes himself into a ball. He isn’t sure how long he is there on the floor and frankly, he feels like he might just be here forever if someone doesn’t come to help him. Regulus, now beginning to feel lightheaded, tries to get his breathing under control, but fails miserably. His vision begins to gather black spots in the corners of his eyes and he thinks he is just about to pass out when a pair of hands press on his shoulders.

“Breathe, Regulus,” the voice demands and Regulus listens.

“In and out, with me now.”

Regulus follows the voice’s instructions, listening to their breathing until eventually he can breathe on his own and his vision begins to clear. Once the tears stop flowing, he looks up and is surprised to find his mother’s concerned expression looking back at him.

Regulus quickly shrugs her off and stands up, wiping the tears from his face.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“I’m fine,” Regulus croaks out. He turns back around once he has himself under control again.

“I apologise, I forgot how daunting it can be to face a Boggart. Especially for someone that has been through as much as you have,” Walburga says, somewhat more kind than he had expected.

Regulus didn’t want to hear this from his mother. She had had seventeen years to be a comfort to him, and he had no kindness left to let her start now.

“I think I’m going to go now, the Boggart is gone.”

Walburga nods and lets Regulus push past her to go to the door.

“Will you be back?” she asks, almost tentatively, which is unlike his mother. She never questions herself.

“I made a promise to help you, so yes, I will be back.”

She almost looks relieved by this and Regulus doesn’t know how to interpret that. He heads down the stairs and then to the front door, collecting his cloak from the coat rack along the way.

He opens the door and doesn’t even bother to look back to say his farewells, instantly Disapparating away as soon as he steps outside.

James didn’t have any work today, but he did have some errands to run, so Regulus isn’t sure if he would be home when he got there. To his luck, James is there, sitting on the couch, scribbling away on some paper with his reading frames on.

He turns when Regulus steps out of the hall.

“Hey love, how was your day?” James asks before he turns around, and when he does, he’s instantly by Regulus’s side and pulls him into a hug.

“What happened?” he asks with concern. Regulus breathes in James’s comforting smell before he replies.

“I had a panic attack, I was getting rid of a Boggart and…” Regulus breathes in deep, feeling the panic rise again.

James rubs a hand up and down his back. “Shh it’s okay love. I understand what happened now. What do you need?”

“A long bath and an even longer cuddle,” Regulus says and James squeezes him tighter.

“Alright, why don’t you head up to the room and I’ll run the bath.”

Regulus nods, glad to let James take charge of this and heads upstairs with James, who breaks off to head to the bathroom. Regulus gets himself undressed in the bedroom and then heads into the bathroom. The bath is full and steaming, bubbles floating in the water. Regulus steps in and sighs with relief as he lowers himself into the water. James sits on the bathroom stool and gestures for him to sit back so that he can get his hands on his shoulders and begins to massage them.

“That’s nice,” Regulus says, feeling the tension quickly leaving him.

“Happy to help,” James replies.

James continues massaging him until Regulus is on the verge of falling asleep. When his head begins to fall forward, James stops and instead begins to wash his hair.

“I just want to ask, it was just a panic attack, right? You didn’t have one of those painful episodes, right?”

Regulus shakes his head. “No, just a panic attack, you know I promised to tell you if I get one of those again.”

James sighs quietly with relief. “I’ve still been looking for Healers that can help. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m considering Muggle avenues.”

Regulus frowns. “Don’t you think I should be making those sorts of decisions about my life? This is my body after all.”

James gives him an embarrassed smile. “Fuck, yeah, you’re right. Sorry, I’m just worried you know? And you haven’t been back to see anyone since the first attack when they told you they wouldn’t be able to do anything. Which I think is utter bullshit, by the way.”

Regulus sighs. He could keep arguing about this with James, but he knows that there just won’t be any budging about this. So, Regulus gives him a weak smile.

“Well, just don’t be making any appointments without me,” he says.

James rinses the soap from his hair and then helps Regulus out of the tub, getting out his favourite bathrobe and helping him slip it on.

He ushers Regulus into the bed and then heads downstairs. Regulus gets himself comfortable and when James returns, he’s carrying a tray with him. He hands the tray to Regulus and then gets himself under the covers. Regulus looks down at the tray, seeing that James has prepared two ham and cheese sandwiches and steaming mugs of hot chocolate.

Regulus, now feeling better, is suddenly famished and digs into the sandwich. James smiles and follows soon after. When the meal is finished, James uses his wand to clean away any crumbs and pulls Regulus down to his chest. Regulus snuggles in close, feeling loved and relaxed. James pets his hair just the way Regulus won’t admit he loves, and soon enough he finds himself drifting off to sleep.

When Regulus wakes, he feels more calm than he has in days. Fuck, he must have needed that more than he thought. James is nowhere to be seen in the room, but his side of the bed is still warm, meaning he must have only just left the bed.

Regulus gets up from the bed, but he stiffens as his whole body erupts with pain. Regulus gasps out; he can’t move at all as his whole body feels as if it has been set on fire. The pain originates from everywhere, there is no direct point from which it comes. He gets his hands to move and he squeezes them into fists, holding back the urge to scream so that he doesn’t alert James. They were having such a nice afternoon and he doesn’t want to ruin the mood just because of this.

He’s begging for his body to stop before James comes back and catches him like this; eventually, the pain begins to recede. He sighs out with relief and slumps back into the mattress, all the renewed energy that he had gained, gone.

His ears perk up as the sound of footsteps alert him and he sits back up, ignoring the aching in his body as James enters the room with the Daily Prophet .

“Oh you’re awake. Sorry the owl came by, bit late isn’t it?”

Regulus puts on a smile. “No bother. What time is it?”

“It’s nearly dinner time, want me to whip something up for us? Or do you feel like takeout again?”

Regulus needs a pain potion and an excuse to get James out of the house; he will work with this. “I’m craving some Italian, reckon you could pick something up for me?”

James steps towards him and places a kiss on his forehead. “Anything for you, love.”

Then his eyebrows crease together. “Are you okay? Looks like you’ve been sweating.”

Regulus lies easily, which causes a pang of regret to go through him. “Yeah, just had a little bit of a nightmare. I’m fine though, don’t even remember it.”

James pecks him on the lips this time. “As long as you’re okay.”

Regulus nods. “I’m fine.”

James, appeased, collects a Muggle coat from his closet and some warm shoes for the walk. “Alright, I’ll be right back.”

“Thank you,” Regulus says. His chest constricts with the regret of the lies, but at the same time, it becomes full with the love and adoration he feels for James. It’s very conflicting and he suddenly feels as if he can’t breathe again. He holds back the emotions for the moment, pretending that everything is fine until James finally leaves and he can breathe out with a shaky breath.

“You’re fine, you’re fine,” Regulus says to himself as he slowly gets up and heads down to the basement, where it has been expanded to hold a potions lab. He keeps a steady supply of pain potions and other such things in the basement; the pain potions, however, he keeps them under a Disillusionment charm. There’s no need for James to know why he needs such a steady supply of them. He removes the charm on his pain potion supply and takes one, uncorking and swallowing the entire dosage.

Instantly, the pain dissipates and he rolls his shoulders back as the relief overcomes him. Once again redoing the Disillusionment charm, then he heads back upstairs and makes himself a much needed cup of tea. He settles down on the couch again, letting the pain potion work its magic, zoning out looking at the blank telly screen. He’s so zoned out in fact, that he startles when the door opens and James shuffles through.

James spots him on the couch and instantly smiles. “So, they were out of garlic bread, but they still had garlic knots.”

“Excellent!” Regulus says and he gets up from the couch and helps James plate up the pasta and pizza that he bought.

“Jeez James, did you buy the whole restaurant out?” Regulus asks with a laugh.

James gives him an amused smile. “I was hungry okay, but at least we will have plenty of leftovers.”

“Can’t go wrong with leftovers,” Regulus says with agreement.

They eat on the couch, their usual place of dining. James puts on the telly and Regulus watches with detached interest. He still feels a bit loopy from the pain potion and wonders if he might have taken too much. Having the food in stomach seems to help though and by the time dinner is done, he feels normal again.

Chapter Text

I'm tearing up

Across your face

Move dust through the light

To fide your name

It's something fane

This is not a place

Not yet awake

I'm raised of make

Still alive for you, love

Still alive for you, love

Still alive for you, love

Bon Iver

Burning Constellations 

Regulus returns to Grimmauld Place with a renewed determination to not let anything happen like last time. He wasn’t going to have another panic attack and he wasn’t going to let his mother get to him in any way whatsoever. Regulus lets himself in, his mother must have put him back on the wards, so he doesn’t need Kreacher around to let him through. When he enters the living room, he’s surprised to find that his mother is not there. He wonders if he should go seek her out or just find something for him to do on his own. Eventually, he decides to do the latter and heads into the kitchen first, when he doesn’t find her there, he heads up the stairs and knocks on the door, but there is no reply.

Worry begins to creep up his chest.

Regulus goes back downstairs and finally given up on trying to look for her with no avail, he gets out his wand and places it flat on his hand.

“Point me to Walburga Black,” Regulus says and the wand twitches before pointing north. Regulus begins to follow the wand until he realises where it’s taking him.

To the Black Library.

Regulus puts his wand away and he notices that the door is ajar, he steps through, the door creaking with his arrival. He heads deeper into the library, suddenly swarmed with memories of summer holidays holed up in here, hiding away from reality and his family. Digging deeper and deeper into dark magic and the freedom that it offered him.

Regulus shakes the memories aside and looks through the large room until he finds his mother in a corner, standing at a shelf and leafing through a book with just a black velvet cover.

“Mother,” Regulus says and Walburga looks up, and it seems she isn’t aware that Regulus has arrived.

“Oh, Regulus, I apologise I didn’t hear you arrive.”

Regulus waves his hand dismissively. “It’s fine. What did you want me to do today?”

“The bannisters need redoing, they’re starting to splinter, and I suppose you could do the stairs at the same time.”

Regulus nods. That shouldn’t be too difficult, but he wasn’t particularly sure what spell he would need to do that.

“Know a spell by any chance?” he asks and Walburga shakes her head.

“I’m sure the library can help,” she says.

She’s right about that, so Regulus lets himself relax as best as he can and lets the magic of the library sink into him, then he states his intention of the spell he wants. When he opens his eyes again, his feet move as if on their own and then he is standing in front of a book that says All You Need To Know About House Restoration.

Perfect! Regulus thinks and he pops the book off the shelf, a cloud of dust rising in response to the disturbance. Regulus coughs and waves the dust away before opening the book to the contents page and hoping to find what he wanted there.

Ten minutes later, Regulus is equipped with a spell that would work perfectly for the job. It wasn’t anything too difficult. So, standing in front of the stairs, Regulus looks down at the book still open in his left hand and then chants the spell, making sure to pronounce the words correctly. Once he has the wording correct he does a quick practice of the sharp and quick wand movements. Now confident that he can perform the spell, Regulus looks to the stairs and performs the spell without hesitation, for the book had warned that if you did damage that would be very difficult to undo could be done.

With the spell done, Regulus inspects his work and nods with approval. The stairs and the bannisters looks almost brand new, not a splinter, crack or rotted wood in sight. Regulus returns to the library, he keeps the book on hand, knowing that it will probably come into use later.

“That’s finished, what’s next?” Regulus asks. He’s aware that he’s not being the most polite right now, but he’s tired after the events of yesterday and he wants to be out of here as quickly as he can.

“The kitchen could use some work. Almost everything in there has an issue with it,” his mother says. Usually, she would reprimand him for the rudeness, but there’s this unusual calmness about her that Regulus finds more unsettling than weird.

“Okay,” Regulus says with a nod and he leaves the library without another word.

It’s two hours later after he has shooed Kreacher out of the kitchen and Regulus surveys his work. The tiles are shining with cleanliness, every piece of metal that he could find has been cleaned of any rust. The oven is working to its full-functioning. Regulus is quite frankly impressed with himself, but is also now feeling quite exhausted and he comes to the decision that he will call it a day here. Walburga walks into the kitchen then, and she looks around with an appraising eye.

“I’m impressed, Regulus, thank you,” she says and Regulus is almost taken aback.

His whole life, his mother has always found a fault within him, whether it be his grades, his magic, his attitude, his lack of friendliness. He could count on one hand how many times his mother had complimented him before or even give him approval.

Perhaps near death, she was starting to regret the way she had treated her sons. Regulus wasn’t sure what to do with this thought right now so he filed it away for the time being.

“Thank you…” he replies hesitantly and his mother simply nods. Her lips pressed into a thin line, she almost looks as if she wants to say more.

“Well, I’ll be off then,” Regulus says and he begins to head for the door, pausing to put on his cloak. Kreacher doesn’t come to say goodbye, so he steps out and Disapparates, gone within seconds.

Regulus gets home to an empty house, as James is off with Remus for the full moon. He heats himself up the leftovers from yesterday and just to fill the silence, he turns on the telly. Regulus, so used to James’s company, doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. He decides to head down to the potions lab and organises a few things here and there. He misses Severus suddenly, and decides that he would have to send him an owl to organise a meetup.

Once Regulus has everything tidied up, Regulus looks at what potions he’s running low on, he’s pretty low on Dreamless Sleep, so, shrugging off his cloak and rolling up the sleeves of his button up, he gets to work.

Two hours later, Regulus heads back upstairs with a Dreamless Sleep potion set to brew overnight. It’s a simple recipe thankfully, and doesn’t take too many ingredients to prepare. But if gave him something to do with his time, which is exactly what he needed. Regulus always has to shower after he brews a potion, so heads upstairs and has himself a quick shower. When he gets out, he’s rubbing a towel through his hair when he hears the fireplace downstairs come to life.

Regulus throws the towel onto the bed and makes his way down the stairs quickly and finds Lily’s head in the fireplace.

“Lily? Is something wrong?” Regulus asks, instantly worried. Lily doesn’t call them much, usually all their communication is done in person, so it’s not particularly wrong of Regulus to assume that something is wrong.

“Oh, nothing is wrong Reg, I just…” She looks away from him almost bashfully. “I met this guy a few weeks ago and he asked me if I wanted to go out tonight for drinks. I’ve been waiting for him to ask me out for ages! But, I have Harry, and Sev is out on a trip.”

Regulus laughs. “I’d be happy to take Harry, let me grab the pram and I’ll be down in a moment.”

“Oh you’re a god send, thank you Reg,” Lily beams and then the fire crackles out. Regulus summons the pram from the storage cupboard and then grabs his winter coat. The one thing that James and Regulus had made sure of when they moved to Central London, was that they stayed close to Lily’s new apartment. With perhaps a little bit of ‘convincing’ here and there, they had managed to snag this apartment that was only two blocks away from Lily’s.

Regulus unfolds the pram and starts his walk to Lily’s. It’s not too late, the sun has still left an orange glow to the horizon, but he estimates that by the time he begins to walk back to the apartment, it will be completely dark, he hastens his stride.

Regulus lets himself in, not bothering to knock. Lily instantly calls out. “Harry’s in the living room! I’m just getting ready. Oh, he’s going to need some socks on, if you don’t mind.”

“Okay!” Regulus replies back and he heads into the living room where Harry is seated safely in his playpen, surrounded by Muggle and Wizarding toys alike.

“You’re going to come with me Harry, mummy’s going on a date,” he says with a smile and Harry claps excitedly. Regulus then heads to his bedroom and finds him a pair of socks. After returning to Harry and putting his socks on he takes him out of the pen and places him in the pram. Lily finally exits out of the bathroom.

“I owe you, Reg,” she says with a relieved smile.

She then kneels down to the strapped in Harry and places a kiss on his cheek. “Be good for papa Reggie, okay Harry?”

Harry smiles wide and says, “Papa!”

Regulus' heart can’t possibly fill with more love. “Lily, you birthed a heart snatcher, you know that right?”

Lily smiles with adoration and pride. “Oh, I’m well aware.”

Then she looks down at her watch. “Oh shit! Okay, I really have to go. Oh, by the way this guy is a Muggle so only call me in an emergency!”

Regulus nods and Lily rushes off into her bedroom, so Regulus takes this as his opportunity to be on his way. “Wave bye to mummy,” Regulus says to Harry, and the toddler does so.

Regulus quickly casts a warming charm over the pram, creating a warm cocoon for Harry and then opens the door and pushes the pram out.

“Bye, Lily!” Regulus calls out before he closes the door.

“Bye, Reg!” Lily calls back and Regulus smiles and shakes his head before closing the door. As they walk, Regulus speaks to Harry to fill in the silence of the night. He talks to Harry about the constellations that were overhead, but with the haze of light pollution, only the brightest stars can be seen.

“Right there is the Big Dipper, Harry,” Regulus says. “It’s a part of the constellation Ursa Major, which is supposed to be a bear. But you can’t really see it from here. When you’re a bit older we’ll take you out to some place more remote and I can show you all the stars in the sky. Constellations are very important to my family. My name comes from the brightest star in the Leo constellation; technically it means little king, which your father says is quite fitting.”

“Papa!” Harry says and Regulus smiles.

“Can you say star, Harry?”

“Star!” Harry repeats and Regulus leans forward slightly to see one of Harry’s little fingers pointing to the sky.”

“Star!” he repeats again and Regulus fills with pride.

“That’s right Harry! Stars belong in the sky.”

“Papa, star!”

Regulus smiles and continues on walking, the cold air causing his warm breath to mist around him. Regulus turns the corner and onto their street. Harry continues to repeat his new word, looking up at the sky and pointing. Regulus tries to tell him the stars' names, but he struggles with some of them. He hadn’t really thought about the stars recently. Perhaps, something nostalgic has come over him. He suspects it has something to do with him returning to Grimmauld Place.

When they get back to their flat. Regulus unbuckles Harry and puts him in his highchair that is placed at the kitchen island. He wonders if he has been fed dinner yet, and seeing how Lily had been running around like a headless chicken when he had arrived, he concludes that he probably hasn’t. So, he goes about making himself a dinner of chicken and rice and hands Harry his own plate.

Harry digs in eagerly.

Once they have eaten, Regulus takes Harry up to his room to get him cleaned up and ready for bed. Harry seems to be tired, so it doesn’t take much for him to go to sleep with a bottle and some light music. Once Regulus is sure that Harry is out for the count, he makes his way back downstairs, tidies up his mess and then decides that he should just turn in early.

In the morning, Regulus wakes alone, with James’s side of the bed cold. He must have stayed over at Sirius and Remus’s then, which he occasionally does if he’s too tired running around with them. Regulus gets up, and after brushing his teeth and after splashing some cold water onto his face to wake himself up just a bit more, he heads to Harry’s room and finds the toddler sitting up in his crib and babbling nonsense to himself. When Harry notices him, he stands up instantly and begins clapping excitedly.

“Morning, bub, did you have a nice sleep?” Regulus asks as he picks Harry up and takes him to the changing table.

“Papa!” Harry replies happily, and Regulus takes his good mood as a yes.

After Regulus changes his nappy and puts him in some warm clothing, he helps Harry down the stairs and lets the toddler go play whilst he prepares some breakfast.

Harry comes up to him a few minutes later and pulls on his pant leg. “Papa, hungry,” Harry says.

“Breakfast is coming, Harry. Here, why don’t I put you in your highchair?”

Harry nods and lifts his arms up, Regulus picks him up and then places him into the highchair and straps him in.

Regulus gives him a small toy to keep him occupied whilst he finishes off the scrambled eggs and Harry happily starts banging it on his tray. Regulus, used to the noise, easily ignores it and then with Harry’s food plated, takes the toy gently off him as he places his plate down.

“Eggs and your favourite apples,” Regulus declares. Harry was just beginning to use utensils now, but Regulus didn’t enforce it too much, especially when eggs weren't too messy of a meal compared to —Regulus shivers in disgust— spaghetti.

Regulus, fortunately an adult, uses a knife and fork to eat his eggs and toast. He wonders what he should do today with Harry. He had planned to go to Grimmauld Place, get some more restoration done, but he doesn’t think it would be a good idea to take Harry with him. Besides, who knows when James was going to come back today.

Regulus looks down at Harry and questions whether or not he should just say fuck it and take Harry with him. Kreacher can watch him whilst he works, and maybe he feels like introducing his son to his mother, showing her just how happy he is with his life.

Although, on the other hand, Regulus doesn’t have to prove anything to his mother. As his thoughts conflict with each other, he looks down to Harry, eggs all over his face and hands, and decides that why shouldn’t he bring Harry? What could possibly go wrong?

“Harry, want to come do some work with me?” Regulus asks.

Harry claps excitedly. “Yes!” he says and Regulus only smiles fondly, taking out his wand and cleaning the child before taking him out of his highchair.

“Well, let’s get ready then.”

Regulus places Harry down and lets him wander off to play while he rushes upstairs to get himself dressed. When he comes back downstairs, he heads to the front door where the shoes are stored on a rack and grabs Harry’s running shoes before his own.

He sits Harry on the couch to get his shoes on even though the child wiggles throughout and attempts to grab his hair.

“Harry, please just sit still for two seconds so I can put these damned shoes on,” Regulus says, but Harry either doesn’t understand or chooses not to listen and takes another swipe at Regulus’s hair.

Regulus avoids the swipe with a jerk of his head, and finally manages to get the last shoe on. Harry slips off the couch and runs off to get a toy whilst Regulus gets his own shoe on. Once they’re ready to go, Regulus realises that he won’t be able to Apparate to Grimmauld Place. So, after packing Harry a bag for the day, he puts him in the pram and heads outside, walking towards the more populated area to hail down a taxi.

Once at Grimmauld Place, Regulus pauses at the doorstep, musters up his courage once more and opens the door to let himself in. He decides to leave the pram outside and instead pulls the bag onto his shoulder and takes Harry out, carrying him inside.

“Mother?” Regulus calls out as he steps into the house.

Kreacher pops into existence right in front of him. “She’s in her room master, Mistress Black is not feeling well today.”

Regulus instantly fills with concern. “What’s wrong with her, does she need help?”

Kreacher wrings his hands together nervously. “She says she does not need help, but Kreacher thinks otherwise.”

Regulus nods, it’s expected of her, Walburga is notoriously stubborn when it comes to receiving help.

“Kreacher keep Harry in the sitting room for me while I go check on her.”

Kreacher nods and Regulus lets Harry down onto the ground, just for extra security, he sets up temporary wards around the sitting room, Harry wouldn’t be able to cross the boundary, but Kreacher would just in case of emergency. He gives Harry the toys he brought with him and then takes the stairs by two.

Regulus only knocks once before entering Walburga's room. Walburga, usually so poised and in control, is sitting against the headboard of her bed, her nose is red like she has been rubbing it and she looks beyond haggard.

“What’s wrong?” Regulus instantly asks and his mother coughs into a handkerchief before replying.

“I’m fine, it’s just a cold,” she says.

Regulus glares at her. “Seems like it’s more than a cough to me.”

She returns his glare with a frigid intensity. “You will not be taking me anywhere, Regulus.”

“I wasn’t planning on doing anything of the sort. I came here to ask if you need anything, perhaps a Pepper-up Potion?”

She shakes her head, which seems to cause her pain. Regulus’s concerns prove to be correct, this is much more than just a cold.

“Alright, how about this, I call over a trusted Mediwitch —who will be sworn to secrecy— and get her to check you?”

Walburga only glares again. “I do not. Need. Help,” she practically hisses and Regulus is reminded of the mother before he had left. The mother who had raised him with a firm hand and expectations far too great for a child.

“I’m not a child any longer. Once I’m done with my work, I’m calling her and we will be back tomorrow. You need a check up, you stubborn woman.”

Walburga coughs. “Get out of my sight,” she croaks.

Regulus doesn’t argue and leaves, letting the door close quietly behind him. Regulus heads downstairs and finds Harry playing quietly on the floor with his toys.  Kreacher doesn’t seem to know what to do with the toddler, but he is diligently watching him which is all that matters.

“Alright Kreacher, does anything need fixing today?” Regulus asks and Kreacher looks up at him.

“The bathrooms are not listening to Kreacher sir, the water keeps coming out brown and I have to use magic to make it clean again.”

Regulus first takes off his cloak which he had left on in his hurry to Walburga, then heads to the kitchen where he had left the book from yesterday. He aims his wand at it, then repeats through his head the intent of the spell that he is looking for, not a moment later, the book flips open onto a page about magical plumbing.

Regulus reads through the spell and is happy to find it is just the spell he needs. Perhaps, the only good thing about Grimmauld Place is the magical library and their books.

“Which bathroom is it Kreacher?” Regulus asks.

“All of them master! Only the kitchen has clean water.”

“Alright, I’ll start in the upstairs bathroom then. Keep watch of Harry for me, come get me if he starts crying.”

Kreacher nods and Regulus heads upstairs. The stairs don’t creak as they had before he had restored them and he’s once again impressed with how well he had fixed them. It’s relieving to know that his unfinished education hadn’t hindered his talent with Transfiguration magic.

Regulus walks into the main bathroom and turns the faucet, the water comes out muddy brown. Regulus had expected it, so he turns the faucet off again, and turns back to the page in which he had found the spell. He places the book flat on the corner of the sink and studies the spell. It’s a simple one, all it does is remove rust and other such things from the pipes. Regulus’s working theory is that the pipes have simply worn down from lack of sustaining magic and have rusted due to their old age.

With the spell and wand movements firmly in his head, Regulus opens the cabinet beneath the sink and finds the pipe that goes into the wall. It seems to look fine, but that could just be due to Kreacher cleaning it in an attempt to fix the water issue. He aims his wand at it. He only needs to have access to one pipe in order for the spell to move throughout the entire network of them, and begins to chant the spell along with the wand movements. Regulus feels the pull of his magic and the pipe glows. Once the spell is finished, the pipe practically shines and he stands up, turns the faucet and watches as the water runs out crystal clear.

“Well, that’s done,” Regulus says. He collects the book and heads back downstairs to the sitting room.

“Pipes are all fixed Kreacher, anything else to do?”

“Oh, thank you Master!” Kreacher says, instantly bowing.

“It’s fine, it’s what I’m here to do. So, anything else?”

Kreacher hesitates slightly and wrings his hands nervously. Even after all these years, Kreacher hasn’t seemed to understand that he can speak comfortably to Regulus. He owes his life to Kreacher after all.

“Kreacher could use help cleaning the attic. There are things up there that Kreacher is too afraid of.”

“Alright, you stay here. I’ll go up into the attic,” Regulus says. He leans down to Harry and bops him on the nose. “Be a good boy, Harry. I won’t be long.”

Regulus enters the attic and pulls up his sleeves. He’s first greeted with piles of boxes; he doesn’t have any idea what he should do with any of them, but he does know that most of them are probably full of junk. He sends up a light into the ceiling and approaches the nearest box. Feeling slightly tentative, he pokes open the box with the tip of his wand. He’s greeted with nothing but clothes and sighs with relief. Levitating the box, he puts into a mostly clear corner, and then moves onto the next.

What Regulus judges as trash may not be considered to be so by his mother. Frankly, Regulus could not care. He’s to inherit this house, and he’d rather get rid of the junk now. 

After an hour, Regulus sighs and stretches his back. He’s got a decent pile of trash growing, mostly it’s just old clothes and junk that he deemed unnecessary to keep. Any other things he came across, such as old papers, dull jewels, he kept in the keep pile for him to sort through more thoroughly later.

Regulus heads back downstairs and is surprised to find his mother on the couch, a blanket thrown over her lap and Harry at her feet, smiling happily.

“Happy to see you looking better,” Regulus says, attempting to keep the surprise out of his voice.

“This is your little one?”

“Yes,” Regulus says, not planning on evaluating.

“I think he may be hungry,” Walburga says.

Regulus picks up the bag he brought and heads to the kitchen. “I was just about to make him some food.”

Harry makes grabby hands at Walburga and Regulus just smirks and leaves her to deal with him. When Regulus returns from the kitchen with Harry’s packed lunch, Walburga has picked up Harry and put him on her lap.

Regulus stops and blinks. He had not expected to see his mother holding Harry, rather it’s an image that he struggles picturing even if he is looking at her right now.

Regulus tries to figure out what to say. “Do… do you want to feed him?” he asks, unsure of how she will reply.

She looks down at Harry, who's now making grabby hands at the plate Regulus is holding and then takes the plate from him.

“I suppose I could help him,” she says, and Regulus is once again washed over with shock.

He goes back to the kitchen and calls Kreacher quietly.

“Could you help me fix some lunch for my mother?”

Kreacher nods. “Of course, Mistress struggles with oily food lately, she has been eating lots of soup.”

“Alright, soup it is then.”

So, whilst his mother feeds Harry (which is a thought that Regulus never thought he would think), Regulus helps Kreacher prepare a light soup for his mothers lunch. By the time he’s back in the living room. Harry has eaten his entire plate of food and his mother has a soft smile on her face.

“You’ve got a smart little boy on your hands,” she says as Regulus places her food on the tea table placed in the middle of the living room.

“I am aware of that,” Regulus replies with pride. He takes Harry from his mother’s lap so that she can eat and takes him to the kitchen to get him cleaned up.

“Were you playing with…” Regulus doesn’t really know what he should have Harry know Walburga as. Was grandma acceptable in this situation? He wasn’t entirely sure.

“Walburga?” Regulus finally says, perhaps the future would change his stance on her position in Harry’s life, but for now, she will remain as Walburga. Happy with his decision, Regulus cleans Harry up with a wet cloth, letting the boy baby talk about his day. Then he gives a wide yawn and Regulus is quickly reminded that Harry’s nap time is soon approaching.

“Nap time?” Regulus asks Harry, who firmly shakes his head. However, Regulus knows the kid must feel utterly exhausted so he picks him up from the counter, puts him on his hip and takes him back to the living room.

“Hey, I just need to put Harry down for a nap then I can go finish up in the attic. Is it alright if he naps here?”

Walburga puts down her soup and says, “Of course, what are you going to put him down in?”

“Oh, I was just going to transfigure one of the chairs into a crib, is that okay with you?”

“Don’t be daft Regulus. I’m sure the old crib is still in the attic. Here give me Harry and you go upstairs to fetch it.”

Regulus opens his mouth to object, but then closes it. With a nod he heads back upstairs to the attic and with a flick of his wand he accio’s the crib to him. The crib comes flying towards him and he freezes it in the air with another flick of his wand, then lets it hover behind him as he heads back downstairs.

Harry is asleep in Walburga's arms when he gets back, so as quietly as he can, he sets up the crib with some blankets and Harry’s favourite plushy and then signals for Walburga to set him down in it. She does so gently, and Regulus has to steel himself for the fond expression she gives the toddler. Regulus doesn’t have a singular memory of her looking at him like that, and it causes a pang of pain to go through his chest.

“Right, I’ll be upstairs, call if you need,” and then he’s out of that room as fast as his feet will take him.

Regulus digs himself back into work, ignoring the image of his mothers fond smile and attempts to keep the anger beginning to simmer just underneath his skin to stay put. It wouldn’t do any good to rehash the childhood she had made him experience. That’s in the past, and Regulus has been doing his damned hardest to keep it that way. He’s a father now, and if there’s one thing he can take away from his childhood, it’s to never be the parent his mother and father were. In fact, he’s determined to be quite the opposite.

After the attic is in organised piles that he can go over another day, he heads back downstairs. His mother is still sitting on the couch, sipping from a porcelain tea-cup and reading what seems to be The Daily Prophet. He sits down on an armchair with a huff, and Kreacher pops into existence beside him.

“Tea?” he asks.

Regulus nods. “Please, oh and I would love a sandwich.”

“Right away Master Regulus.”

Regulus observes the still sleeping Harry, he checks his watch, he’s only been sleeping for an hour. After he eats, he’ll wake him up and then head on home, he wonders if James has gotten back yet, Regulus hopes he has.

Regulus hadn’t seen the attack coming, really, perhaps he should have after all the exercise he had done today, but it attacks him without warning, and he doubles over, the fire that washes through him lights his entire body with agony. 

“Regulus?” he hears his mother call out with concern, but the ringing in his ears soon draws out all sound. Regulus bites his tongue to keep any noise of pain from escaping, but he bites too hard and the taste of iron explodes into his mouth. He grunts as the pain continues to come, why does it always feel endless? This pain, this misery. What did he do to deserve this? Hadn’t he atoned for his wrongs, hadn’t he done enough?

Tears spring out from behind his eyes, which are squeezed shut as the nerve attack takes over, and roll down his cheeks. He stays utterly still until there’s a touch to his hand and he instantly recoils, their touch causing even more pain to go blazing through him.

“Don’t touch,” he hisses out, the blood from his tongue creeping out and wetting his lips. He opens his eyes and looks at his mother, who looks utterly terrified.

Her mouth is moving, but Regulus still can’t hear her, so he just shakes his head and puts his head back down. Eventually, days, weeks or months later, the pain subsides, and he’s able to uncurl himself and breathe out with relief. His muscles groan with each movement he makes, but it’s better than the agony from before.

“Regulus?” Walburga says tentatively, her voice small and weak. She’s still standing in front of him, and Regulus has to crane his head back to see her face.

“I’m fine,” he says, attempting to keep the croakiness out of his voice.

“You’re not fine, what was that?” she asks, gaining back some of her usual composure now that the nerve attack has passed.

“Just… remnants of an injury,” Regulus replies. His mother doesn’t seem to appreciate the vagueness.

“No, I want the truth.”

“You don’t,” states Regulus.

Walburga gives him a hard stare, fuck it, if she want’s to know the truth? Then he’ll give it to her.

“I was tortured with Cruciatus for an extensive period during the war, more than a human body should have been able to handle. I’m lucky to be as functioning as I am. So, I’ll take these attacks as they come, rather than be some brain dead fellow kept alive with spells in St Mungo’s.”

Walburga takes a sharp intake of breath. “Who?’ she asks.

“Voldemort,” Regulus replies.

His mother’s lips form a thin line. “I—” she begins to say, but Regulus promptly cuts her off.

“I don’t need your sympathies. I lived, isn’t that what’s most important? I have my partner, I have Harry, my friends. I get to live this life now, so I don’t need your empathy nor your sympathy. What I need is that blasted ring so I can access the family vault and start what I’ve been meaning to.”

“What do you want to start?” she asks and Regulus clears his throat, unaware that his mother might be interested in what he planned for his future.

“A foundation, to fight for half-blood and muggle-born rights, give them a voice within the wizarding community. I also want to help reform the Ministry, it’s not as it should be. Not after the war.”

“You’re quite serious about this,” Walburga states, a note of surprise in her voice.

“I am, I don’t want to be known for simply killing a man.”

“You did more than that,” Walburga replies firmly. Regulus shakes his head, he doesn’t understand his mother anymore.

“Look, I think we’re just going to head home now,” he says, and with a stifled groan, he gets up from the armchair and leans down into the cot, gently lifting Harry out of it. Harry’s face scrunches, but he doesn’t wake up, taking him to the pram still outside, he gently places Harry within and straps him. The boy’s eyes blink open for a second, but they soon close once more and Harry continues to sleep.

After collecting everything else, he bids Kreacher goodbye and gives his mother a nod before heading out the door, closing it gently behind him.

There’s footsteps coming from upstairs when Regulus returns, and he feels his shoulders relax—James must be home. Harry awakens properly this time when Regulus takes him out of his stroller, and he sets the toddler in the living room with his toys before he heads upstairs to greet James.

“Regulus?” James calls out, and Regulus quickens, entering into their bedroom with a smile.

“Hey, love,” he says, James turns around from where he’s folding clothes on the bed, Regulus instantly has his arms around his waist and his cheek pressed against his chest.

“Hey,” James says quietly, wrapping his arms tightly around Regulus.

“Rough day?” he asks.

Regulus nods. “You can say that.”

They have an easy night, James keeping Harry entertained and occupied whilst Regulus goes for a much needed nap. After dinner, and when Harry’s settled for the night, James tucks Regulus into his side on the couch, and puts on a Muggle movie.

Regulus must have fallen asleep during the film, because he’s awoken, when arms wrap underneath him and he’s promptly lifted into the air.

Regulus groans and rests his head on James’s shoulder as his lover carries him up the stairs, and then gently places him onto the bed.

“You should have called for me after you had your attack, not taken yourself home,” James grumbles as he takes out some of Regulus’s pj’s.

“I know, but I just wanted to get out of there as quick as I could,” Regulus replies, blinking some of the fog out from behind his eyes.

“James,” Regulus says, as there is no reply from him.

James doesn’t move, his back to Regulus, a pang of worry goes through him and he starts to sit up, but James spins around, tears in his eyes.

“I hate this.”

His chest clenches. “Hate what?” Regulus asks, afraid of the answer.

“Hate that you have to suffer still. Hate that I get to walk around without wondering when the next moment I might be in extreme pain. I know you hide the attacks from me, Regulus. You only tell me when you have one you can’t hide it. I also know about the pain potions in the basement.”

Regulus takes in a sharp breath, he averts his eyes from James, guilty.

“And I hate that you think you’re a burden, no matter how much I try to convince you otherwise. I hate how you’re still trying to make people believe in you, find you worthy, when you already fucking did that when you sacrificed so much for the war. You proved yourself when you were a spy, when you trained Severus, when you nearly died. You proved yourself the moment you killed him.”

“James,” Regulus croaks out, wanting him to stop.

James steps forward. “I love you, Regulus. I can’t breathe without you, I can’t sleep easily without you. You know, I only ever dream at night if you’re by my side? You don’t understand just how much people care about you, Regulus.”

“I know they do!” Regulus cries out, turning to James. “Of course I know that,” he says quietly.

“Then why are you still so adamant about proving yourself?”

“I…” Regulus shakes his head, he doesn’t know how to explain it. “I just, I want to help still.”

“Don’t you think you’ve helped enough?”

“There’s still so much more to do, though. If Sirius won’t use his power as the Head of the House, then I will.”

James frowns and he kneels in front of Regulus. “You don’t have to be the responsible one anymore, Reg. You don’t have to carry all the burden. That's all I ask.”

Regulus swallows back his tears. “Alright.”

James nods and then gets up. “Come, let's have a bath before bed.”

That night, James holds him tightly as they sleep and Regulus counts the breaths that he makes, just to remind himself that he’s here.

That they made it out alive.

Regulus allows himself to rest the next day, Harry returns home to Lily and he mostly goes between the couch and the kitchen for the day. James keeps him company, but eventually, he has to leave for work. But when he comes home, he makes it up to Regulus by getting on his knees in front of the couch and slowly pulling the band of his pants down. 

Satisfied and deeply sated, Regulus curls himself on the couch whilst James makes dinner, then after when they go to bed, they make love, slow and sweet.

The days continue on, Regulus returns to Grimmauld, all business as usual. Walburga seems to be getting better, her pale skin gaining more colour, and she even begins to help Regulus with some of the more tedious magic. Helping him with his wand movements and some of the harder Latin words.

One night, as Regulus is about to leave, his mother calls him from the living room. He pauses in his tracks and heads into the living room.

Walburga is sitting straight backed in her usual spot, on the small coffee table in front of her, there’s a black velvet box.

“Well, Regulus, I think the time has come,” she says. Regulus’s heart begins to race as looks down at the box.

“Is that?”

Walburga nods. “You deserved this a long time ago, but if I’m to be honest, I wanted to keep you around a bit longer.”

Regulus approaches the table and lifts up the box before opening it. The Black signet ring sparkles in the evening light, and the family crest pressed into the metal in an oval shape greets him.

“Thank you,” Regulus breathes out.

“I wouldn’t thank me, Regulus.”

He looks at her. “I don’t mean to take this and never see you again. Christmas is a few days away, why don’t you come?”

Her eyes widen in surprise. “I… I don’t think I’ll be the most welcomed.”

“You won’t, but I would like you to come anyway.”

She hesitates before saying, “I’ll think about it.”

Regulus nods and he smiles down at the ring.

Christmas arrives faster than Regulus had expected. This year, they’re hosting at their place, and everyone's invited. The house is brimming with people, with Harry and Neville, along with Molly’s Ron, running about the place, weaving between legs and furniture.

Regulus is so busy looking after his guests that he doesn’t hear the knock at the door, but Remus calls out, his sensitive hearing catching the sound over the children and laughter.

“Regulus, there’s someone at the door!”

Regulus wonders who it might be, and when he opens the door, he’s surprised to see his mother until he recalls that he himself had invited her. Quickly removing his surprised expression, he plants a smile on his face and beckons her in.

“Didn’t think you were coming,” he says as she glides past him, taking her coat off her shoulders.

“I debated, but well… It’s been a while since I’ve celebrated Yule.”

Regulus smiles at her in reply, and when she’s further in the room, James comes up.

“Happy Yule, Mrs Black,” he says politely.

Her smile is forced but polite when she replies, “And you, James.”

“There’s still plenty of food left in the kitchen, so help yourself to whatever you would like.”

Walburga nods and Regulus leads her into the kitchen, where Sirius is, refilling his wine glass. He looks up and just about drops the glass when he spots Walburga.

“Mother,” he gasps out.

Regulus curses himself, he hadn’t forgotten to tell Sirius that he had invited her.

“Sirius,” Walburga says, and there’s pain in her voice. Regulus carefully watches the two, ready to stand in whenever he needs, but instead, Sirius strides towards her and promptly pulls her into a hug, which seems to shock both Regulus and Walburga.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Sirius says quietly, and Regulus decides to give them a moment alone.

 James wraps his hand around his waist as he exits the kitchen. He brings his lips to Regulus’s ear and says, “Alright?”

A shiver runs down Regulus’s spine, but he nods his head.

The rest of the night, Sirius and Walburga sequestered themselves to a corner of the living room, speaking in hushed tones. Regulus kept an eye on them from the corner of his eye, but no argument broke out between the two, and when the night ended, they hugged as Walburga departed back to Grimmauld Place, Regulus gave her a wave goodbye, ensuring she made it into the taxi with ease.

“What did you two talk about?” Regulus asks, now that he has Sirius alone.

He shrugs. “Just, stuff.”

“Seemed to be very important stuff ,” replies Regulus.

“It was, look, I just wanted to make amends. She’s getting older now, and with all the hard work you’ve been putting in, I didn’t want to just sit on my arse and not do anything whilst my little brother goes off and tries to change the world again .”

“You don’t mean to…” Regulus insinuates, but Sirius promptly denies.

“No, of course not, the title is all yours Reg. I just… I just wanted to help in my own way.”

“Alright, well.” And remembering how James had asked him to let others take some of the burden off his shoulders,  he smiles and places a hand on his brother's shoulder. “Thanks.”

Sirius and Remus are the last to leave, and they all farewell each other before James closes the door and promptly sighs.

“I don’t know how Lily does it,” he says, rolling his left shoulder.

“I know right,” Regulus replies, and he plops himself down on the couch. The mess can wait for tomorrow.

“Come love, shower and then bed.”

“What if I want a bath?” Regulus replies, he turns to James and gives him a seductive look.

“Oh well, I think I can make that adjustment,” James says, a smirk lifting the corner of his lips.

Regulus gets into the bath first, and sighs as his muscles relax in the warm water. James gets in, placing himself behind Regulus until Regulus is resting against his chest.

“I had a really good night tonight,” Regulus says, his fingers tracing the skin on Jame’s shin.

“Me too,” James replies, placing a kiss on the crown of his head.

Regulus fingers trail up James legs until he can feel him stiffening at the small of his back. A smile lifts up his lips as he turns around, the water sloshing, and he tucks his legs underneath himself, sitting back on his heels.

James groans as Regulus wraps his fingers around the base of his cock and starts a slow pace, up and down, twisting his wrist when he gets to the head of his cock. James sighs and his head falls back, his throat wondrously exposed, water glistening and falling down the curve of his adams apple. Regulus can’t stop himself from leaning forward and dragging his tongue down the expanse of his throat, his hand pumping faster as he begins to bite and suck a hickey just above his collarbone.

“Fuck, Regulus,” James hisses, his hips moving with the rhythm of Regulus’s hand.

“Cum for me?” Regulus whispers, biting the sensitive spot just behind his ear, then sucking until the skin is red.

 James obeys, and his mouth falls open with a cry as his cock twitches beneath Regulus’s hand, his cum disappearing into the water.

“Fuck,” he says as he comes down from his high. He’s devastatingly handsome like this, Regulus thinks, and he plants his lips on James’s, who opens instantly for him. Their tongues work together as Regulus deepens the kiss, there’s the sound of water sloshing as James leans forward, his own hand wrapping around Regulus’s throbbing erection. Regulus sighs in relief against James’s mouth, and it takes an embarrassingly short time for his own release to arrive.

After the bath is drained, they fall into bed naked and dry, wrapped in each other's arms as they fall asleep.

Regulus dreams, he dreams of a little boy, eyes exactly like his mother, walking through halls of ancient cobblestone, lit with nothing but flickering candlelight. The boy is brave, Regulus knows, and just like his father before him, he itches to find the secrets within the castle.

The boy isn’t alone, there’s another with him, his hair fiery red and his face adorned with freckles. Laughter lines already have creased the corner of his eye. The dream continues forth, until there’s a girl, intelligent and kind, as she tries her best to keep those she loves in line and alive. There’s another boy of course, but his quiet demeanour means he’s easily forgotten. However, the boy with the eyes of his mother never forgets him, and ensures that his quiet friend is always involved in the fun and the danger.

Regulus feels warm throughout the dream, because no matter how much danger or mischievousness the boy gets up to, there will be those who can protect him, watch over him, and love him.

Regulus smiles, and he tightens his arms around his love.