Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Angels Fall

“If you live, so shall my son.”

She shuddered, still feeling the piercing of Lilith’s talons in her skin, right over her heart, underneath her collarbone, the blood dripping from the rune as she felt her and Johnathon’s life forces intermingling, as the air slowly came back into him, as his body rebuilt itself, cell by cell.

Lilith’s words still vibrated in her ears, as soft as they were, but they’d been louder than any of her screams as the demonic rune permanently pierced into her flesh, burning her worse than any rune that had been carved into her.

As long as the rune remained on her, it would never just be her and Jace.  

It was Johnathon, too.

I try to face the fight within

But it's over

I'm ready for the riot to begin

And surrender

She remembered when she first stabbed him, right under his throat, how the blood bubbled up in her mouth and spilled, staining her lips and teeth the color of rubies, the taste of it making her sick. Nausea twisted at her gut as she sunk to the carpeted floor, barely registering its softness as the first of the dizziness hit her.

Her vision blurred. The Heavenly Fire serum hadn’t worked. Johnathon was still downstairs in his cell. As long as he was there, he would continue having a hold on her. She remembered how he kissed her, glamoured as Jace.

Jace. The dirty, metallic taste in her mouth resurfaced as she remembered Johnathon kissing her. The fact that he wanted her . . . she remembered his words: I miss you, how they slowly carved into her arm. She swallowed the bile back, but it was no use. A little dribbled past her lips, the spit landing in the smallest of a puddle as she felt tremors wracking through her, the cold sweat stinging in her eyes as her vision swam.

I walked the path that led me to the end

Remember

I'm caught beneath with nothing left to give, forever

Her brain barely registered what her hands were doing. She felt the cool grip of the hilt of the blade that Luke had said once belonged to Valentine . . . Valentine, the man that made this all happen . . .

Gripping the hilt, Clary barely heard her quiet sob as she remembered what she’d said to Jace.

I . . . I have to get this thing off of me.

I will carve it out myself if I have to.

The tip of the knife just managed to pierce the skin around the rune when she felt a hand, strong, masculine, warm, gripping her wrist. She flailed, barely noticing the scream that ripped past her lips as she punched at whoever was gripping her wrist. She barely heard her name being called, it all sounded like it was underwater. Through the heavy waves that crushed her constricted chest and thumped against her ears, she heard “Clary, Clary” being chanted at her, repetitively.

When angels fall with broken wings

I can't give up, I can't give in

When all is lost and daylight ends

I'll carry you and we will live forever

Forever

Fingers were massaging her hair, lips were at her ears, whispering to her. A distinct, heavy scent of vanilla, orange, and honey hit her as a soprano called out through the heavy water, “Alec, what do we do?!”

“Get Jace!”

Heals panged against the surface of her bedroom floor as the door slammed open, and then closed again. She felt fingers prying away her grip on the hilt, and she fought harder as her fist hit something, someone’s chest. A groan of pain sounded, but the hands were determined to pry the weapon from her fingers. Finally, the hilt slipped from her sweaty palms, but she reached a hand up, touching it over the rune under her collarbone as she began clawing at her mark, her screams shrill as the tears, which she now registered were streaming down her face, now blinded her. Her nails dug into her flesh deeply. A firm set of fingers went underneath her chin, forcing her to glance upward.

Grey skies will chase the light away

No longer

I fought the fight now only dark remains

Forever

Alec’s face swam into view. His luminous, hazel eyes, normally hard as stone, were softer than she’d ever seen them. His lips moved. He was saying something to her. But she couldn’t make out the words through the water pounding in her ears; they rang shrilly, as though someone was blowing a piercing whistle right in them, sharp enough to drown out any sound at all.

Alec’s hands were cupping at her cheeks now, the pads of his thumbs under her eyes and brushing the tears away that mixed with the glands of sweat. She gagged slightly, her throat too tight to even suck a breath in.

Divided I will stand

And I will let this end

Alec’s grip remained gentle, gentler than Clary could imagine his touch being. She saw from the movement of his lips he was saying “Fray, listen to me” in his “leader” voice, calm, stern. She shook her head.

She couldn’t hear him.

When angels fall with broken wings

I can't give up, I can't give in

When all is lost and daylight ends

I'll carry you and we will live forever

Forever

Hands were suddenly on her arms, squeezing gently and turning her around. She stared into two eyes, one blue, one half-blue, half-brown. She was then pulled against his chest, and she let out a strangled gasp as she gagged again. She felt Jace’s lips at her temple, pressing the gentlest of kisses there as his fingers tangled in her flaming hair. Alec’s hand remained on her wrist, and she felt Izzy rubbing a hand up and down against her back.

The sun begins to rise

And wash away the sky

Finally, the voices broke through the water. She heard Jace telling her, “Clary, easy, breathe. In and out. Copy me . . .” She felt the rise and fall of his chest as she continued gasping for air, his scent overwhelming her as she felt someone behind her, holding her from behind, arms too strong and muscular to be Izzy’s.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. I walked in here, and she kept saying, ‘Get off, get off.’” Izzy’s voice was filled with fear that colored it.

Had she said anything? She couldn’t remember.

Jace heaved a sigh. “She told me she’d cut the rune off her if she had to, if it meant being separated from him.”

Alec breathed in sharply as he listened to her wheezing. “Clary, breathe, keep breathing, nice and slow.” She was surprised to hear him calling her “Clary” and not “Fray” like he normally did.

Her breath choked again as she sucked in more air, the shivers wracking her frame as she clawed at Jace’s leather jacket.

The turning of the tide

Don't leave it all behind

And I will never say goodbye

“That’s it. You’re doing good. Breathe,” Jace whispered, kissing her forehead as he massaged her shoulders.

She felt Izzy leaning her cheek to the top of her head, felt the secure iron grip of Jace and Alec’s arms around her. Finally, she felt the tightening in her chest loosening significantly, but she remained cushioned against Jace’s chest as she felt fingers petting her hair, Alec’s.

“Shhh.” Izzy’s voice was velvet soft, that same motherly tone she used whenever she’d comfort Max.

Clary closed her eyes, a harsh shiver breaking through as she coughed. She felt something hard and plastic press against her lips, and she sipped the water that slid down her throat, swallowing mechanically.

She finally managed a whisper, “I want it off. I . . . I want no part of him on me.”

“We’re going to try again,” Isabelle whispered.

“And if that doesn’t work . . .?”

“Then we’ll try again, as many times as we need to.” Jace’s voice was firm as he rocked her backward and forward.

She shook her head. “He kissed me.”

Silence rang through the room, until Alec finally whispered, “What?” The venom in his voice was unmistakable as he spat the word through clenched teeth that snapped down, hard.

“Glamoured as Jace.” Clary’s voice remained dead as more tears stung in her eyes like acid.

“Did he do anything else?” Izzy asked, her voice just as angry.

Clary nodded. “After Jace and I . . . after we . . . he cut himself . . . he wrote something.”

“What?” Jace’s tone was blacker than night.

“‘I miss you.’” Clary felt her face turning as red as her hair as she began sobbing again.

Alec tightened his arms around her protectively as Izzy let out a quiet hiss between her teeth. Clary heard Alec spitting out, “That son of a fucking bitch!”

“I swear on the Angel, Clary, once we separate him from you, I’ll kill him,” Izzy spoke behind clenched teeth before she turned Clary toward her, pulling her into her arms and placing an almost-motherly kiss on the redhead’s hair, humming quietly.

“We all will.” Jace’s vow remained quiet.

“We’re not going to let him touch you again,” Alec promised.

When angels fall with broken wings

I can't give up, I can't give in

When all is lost and daylight ends

I'll carry you and we will live forever

Forever

Forever

Forever

Chapter Text

When The Darkness Comes

Underneath the echoes

Buried in the shadows

There you were

Alec could officially count Halloween as his least-favorite holiday, this year even more so than last year.

For one, they were dealing with Drevak demons infesting the sewer system, and with all the mundanes out celebrating the holiday, the Drevak were ravenous for the opportunity to feed.

For another, they thought for sure they were going to separate Clary from the slimeball being kept prisoner downstairs in their sublevels, only for the serum of Heavenly Fire to not take any effect.

On top of that, he was faced with the most reprehensible choice: break up with Magnus so Asmodious could restore his power, or, risk Magnus never being whole again and forever suffering in an ocean of depression that brought a heavy tidal wave over their relationship.

Yes. It was safe to say that he hated Halloween. Not only was it a mockery of the Shadow World with mundies dressing up in stupid outfits just to get a year’s worth of cavities from eating too much sugar, but the demons saw it as a free-for-all night to feast as much as they wanted. It was open season.

He rolled his eyes at the thought. Yeah. Happy fucking Halloween. He should be so excited.

As he walked down the hall, past the living quarters with Izzy so he could prep everyone at the Institute for the night ahead, he heard a panicked whisper behind Clary’s door, a whisper of, “Get off, get off, get off!”

Drawn into your mystery

I was just beginning

Maybe at another time, he would’ve brushed it off. In the past, he hardly gave a damn about Clary Fairchild. In fact, in the beginning, he’d hated her, knowing she’d gained all of Jace’s infatuation and obsession and infiltrated into his, Jace and Izzy’s well-oiled machine, knowing that she could be to Jace what he’d wanted to be at the time, but couldn’t, because he and Jace were parabatai. In fact, he was ashamed to admit that there had been a point where he’d envisioned himself wrapping his hands around her throat and strangling the life out of her, feeling the tendons in her neck pop as she gasped for air.

But then, he found Magnus, someone who loved him wholeheartedly, heart and soul, just as Isabelle promised he would one day find. Now, there was hardly any competition between him and Clary anymore. In fact, to even think about competing with her would be ridiculous.

It was clear why Jace harbored so much affection for her; even Alec had to admit that Fray was kind, she had a heart filled with so much compassion for everyone, mundane, Downworlder, and Shadowhunter alike, when she got lost in her artwork, it was as though she were elsewhere, and she was perceptive; like Izzy, she’d known Alec was gay even when everyone else either refused to see it or were just extremely oblivious, but she hadn’t been judgmental about it, she’d been nonchalant.

Just admit it. You’re in love with Jace. Say it. You’ll feel better.

And of course, she’d been right, and he might’ve hated that at one point. But now he was happy that she was right. It was because of her outright acceptance, her questioning Lydia about why they were going through with their wedding, that gave him the courage to kiss Magnus in front of everyone in the first place.

And this was why he now paused outside the door to her bedroom, her whispers of “Get off, get off, get off” growing more hysterical by the minute. His hazel eyes flashed to Izzy’s brown, and he moved to open her door.

Only it was locked.

Alec shook his head. He knew they had a habit of never knocking. Sighing, he drew the rune that would allow him to unlock the door, and he yanked it open, with Izzy practically flying into the room first, as fast as her stilettos could take her.

To see your ghost

But you must know

The door slammed behind him as he knelt near her. Clary was on her knees, her hazel-green eyes staring at nothing, but swimming with a mixture of tears and sweat, the sweat matting her hair to the nape of her neck as shivers wracked her body. From the sounds of her breathing, she was in hysterics; she sounded as though she were choking. Alec barely acknowledged that he was kneeling in a puddle of bile that she’d thrown up, but he hardly cared as he took in how pale she was, how her cheeks had a jade tint that hinted at nausea.

But what startled him more was Clary gripped the hilt of one of her daggers; she had the tip pressed against her torso, right underneath her collarbone, where that demonic rune was.

“Get off, get off, get off, get off!”

Each repetition of that single phrase that trembled past her lips gripped at his heart in a cold fist, squeezing. Izzy kept calling out to her, saying her name, but Clary clearly didn’t hear anything they were saying.

Acting on instinct, Alec gripped Clary’s wrist firmly in his hand. But Clary reacted just as he expected she would. She lashed out, screaming, one of her hands slipping from the hilt to punch him. Her fist hit him in the chest as Isabelle began tangling her fingers in the younger girl’s fiery hair, shushing her in the way she would whenever she would comfort Max after he would have nightmares. But it wasn’t doing much good.

I'll be here waiting

Hoping, praying that

This light will guide you home

When you're feeling lost I'll leave my love

Hidden in the sun

For when the darkness comes

“Alec, what do we do?!” Isabelle asked him, her voice edged with worry.

“Get Jace!”

Isabelle nodded, flying just as quickly out of the room and slamming the door behind her. Quickly, he gripped his hand around Clary’s fingers, trying to loosen her grip on the hilt.

“Fray, listen to me. Let go. Let go of the blade. Drop it,” he whispered, keeping his voice as calm and level as possible, but inside, his worry surged through him, worse than when Magnus had shown up to their dinner the other night drunk. There was a chance that Clary could end up hurting herself. Over his dead body would he ever allow that, especially since he already let her down by indirectly being responsible for Jocelyn’s death; he’d never fail her again, because Clary never failed him in the smallest or grandest of ways.

But even as he tried to loosen her sweaty fingers from around the hilt, Clary wasn’t having it. She aimed another fierce punch at his chest. He groaned painfully. But even that wouldn’t stop him. He finally managed to pry the blade away from her, dropping it to the ground.

But Clary remained determined. She reached a hand up and clawed it over her heart, where the mark was, and she began scratching at it deeply, digging her nails into the flesh, blood beginning to leak a little.

“Clary, stop it!” Alec placed his hand under her chin, jerking her head up and forcing her to glance up at him.

Now the door is open

The world I knew is broken

There's no return

“Clary, you need to calm down.” He cupped her cheeks in both his hands, his thumbs brushing her tears away tenderly, but Clary just kept screaming, that hysterical edge present as she sounded as though she were gagging, which left him worried she was about to be sick again as the green in her cheeks grew deeper in color. He heard her gag harder, dry heaving.

Now my heart is not scared

Just knowing that you're out there

Watching me

“Fray, listen to me!” Alec ordered her. But she shook her head. She still wasn’t listening. He saw her hands scrambling against the carpeted floor, searching for anything to latch onto.

“Clary, shhh, relax, just take some deep breaths for me. In and out. I’ve got you. You’re going to be okay.”

So believe I'll be here waiting

Hoping, praying that

This light will guide you home

When you're feeling lost I'll leave my love

Hidden in the sun

For when the darkness comes

“Clary, you need to breathe.” Alec continued to wipe away her tears, but they kept streaming down her pallid cheeks as suddenly, the door slammed open again and Jace and Izzy dashed forward. Jace reached them first. He grabbed Clary’s shoulders in his hands and turned her around to face him.

As Alec expected, the sight of Jace seemed to help everything overall. Nonetheless, he kept his hand on Clary’s wrist, and Izzy’s hand massaged up and down the redhead’s back in a gentle motion as Jace pulled her into the circle of his arms, kissing her temple repetitively as he coached her on how to breathe, sucking in deep breaths of his own and rocking her slightly. Alec moved in, wrapping her in his arms from behind and leaning into her, humming to her the song Maryse would always sing to him, Izzy, Jace, and Max whenever they’d have nightmares growing up.

“What happened?” Jace demanded, his voice low.

“I don’t know. I walked in here, and she kept saying, ‘Get off, get off.’” Isabelle’s olive skin had grown two shades paler as she handed Alec a bottle of water from which he unscrewed the cap.

Jace heaved a sigh, his blue and brown eyes seeming to harden and turn into a pair of icy blue diamonds. “She told me she’d cut the rune off her if she had to, if it meant being separated from him.”

Alec inhaled sharply. Knowing that was what Clary had tried doing, his stomach felt uneasy knowing she’d even try that. Her breath was wheezing, so he murmured, “Clary, breathe, keep breathing, nice and slow. In through your nose, out through your mouth, nice and easy. You’re okay, you’re safe, we’ve got you.”

For when the darkness comes (oh oh oh)

Clary kept clawing at Jace’s leather jacket, even as she seemed to catch her breath. Jace kept rubbing her shoulders, massaging the knots of tension out as he kept coaching her on how to slow her breathing. He kept kissing her forehead repetitively as Alec ran his fingers through her hair and Izzy leaned her cheek to the top of Clary’s head.

Izzy just shushed her, her voice almost crooning. Finally, Clary shivered harshly again, coughing. Alec pressed the bottle of water to her lips and tilted it; Clary mechanically swallowed the ice water, sniffling.

She then whispered, “I want it off. I . . . I want no part of him on me.”

Alec couldn’t blame her as he clenched his teeth, tightening his arms around her protectively. He knew what Clary was saying. And he understood why. To think that sociopath had so much control over her through that rune, knowing that he’d hurt her through that connection, it sickened him to his core.

“We’re going to try again,” Isabelle promised.

“And if that doesn’t work . . .?” Just hearing the doubt in Clary’s voice left Alec’s chest hurting on her behalf.

“Then we’ll try again, as many times as we need to,” Jace vowed, his voice almost growling as he kept rocking her.

Clary shivered again as she whispered, “He kissed me.” She shook her head.

The silence that rang through the room was louder than any scream Clary had released earlier during the panic attack. Alec clenched his teeth with an audible snap before he hissed out, “What?”

“Glamoured as Jace.” The dead tone in Clary’s voice caused a black haze of hatred to pass over Alec’s vision, and he held her even tighter, as though determined to shield her from that sicko who remained downstairs as their prisoner.

“Did he do anything else?” Isabelle demanded; her brown eyes seemed to turn a shade of black.

Clary nodded again. “After Jace and I . . . after we . . .” Alec did not want to imagine what Clary and Jace had done when they’d had sex; he’d felt how charged Jace had been that night. “. . . he cut himself . . . he wrote something.”

“What?” Clearly, Jace didn’t know about this, because his voice was black with rage.

“‘I miss you.’” Clary burst into another hysterical fit of sobs, her cheeks flushing a deep shade of red as she buried her face into Jace’s chest; the humiliation she was feeling caused Alec’s stomach to twist. He would never allow that monster . . . that . . . sick pervert to make her feel embarrassed or ashamed. Instantly, his arms tightened around her.

Be here waiting

Hoping, praying that

This light will guide you home

When you're feeling lost I'll leave my love

Hidden in the sun

For when the darkness comes

Izzy hissed as he whispered, “That son of a fucking bitch!”

Izzy spoke between clenched teeth as she pulled Clary away from Jace slightly, into her arms and held her. “I swear on the Angel, Clary, once we separate him from you, I’ll kill him.” She kissed the top of the other girl’s head.

“We all will,” Jace swore.

“We’re not going to let him touch you again.” And Alec would keep that promise. If it was the last thing he’d ever do, he swore on not just the Angel, but also the girl’s late mother, that he would never allow Johnathon Christopher Morgenstern to lay another hand on Clary Fairchild. With Clary still in his arms, he withdrew his stele and found her courage in combat rune, running it over that part of her flesh, hoping that it would calm her down and bring her a sense of comfort.

Hidden in the sun

For when the darkness comes