Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You were holding onto Geralt’s hand like a vice to avoid getting lost in the crowds of Novigrad. You hated large cities but you required supplies and his swords desperately needed repair. He led you confidently from shop to shop and once you were inside with only the merchant and a few other people, you did the talking. You worked well together in that regard, his large and intimidating form kept you safe outside and your smooth talking allowed him to stay quiet when faced with the shopkeepers. You had learned a long time ago that you had to be extra polite to humans if you wanted to survive and you had therefore honed your “people skills”. Geralt would never say it out loud but he loved shopping with you and if holding your hand was a large part of his enjoyment, that was his secret to keep.

You were just saying hello to Hattori outside his smithy when a commotion nearby draw your attention. The crowd parted anxiously for a messenger wearing the Nilfgaardian royal colours and you wondered who they were here for. “Geralt of Rivia,” the short man announced in a shrill voice. The Witcher turned around reluctantly and he felt increasingly uncomfortable with all the eyes that were now on him. You wanted to let go of him and disappear in the crowd but he held onto you as if you were his anchor and maybe that was true. You gently squeezed his hand and you were rewarded with a small smile.

“Geralt of Rivia,” the messenger repeated, “You are hereby officially invited to the coronation of our new Empress of Nilfgaard, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, daughter of our beloved Emperor Emhyr var Emreis. You may bring one guest and you are advised to inform the Grand Palace about personal arrangements before the event.” You whistled quietly, wow it was really happening. The Nilfgaardian courier handed Geralt an official looking envelope and him and his accompanying royal guard left the square. Hattori ushered you inside to get away from the crowd that was openly staring at you and you felt immensely grateful.

Geralt was stunned and for a long moment, the three of you stood in awkward silence. He knew that Ciri had chosen this path and yet the reality of it hadn’t really hit him until now. She was really going to be Empress of all of Nilfgaard and he didn’t know if he should be proud of or scared for her. Possibly both. “Well, that’s very exciting. Do give my regards to her,” Éibhear exclaimed and excused himself to the back room to work on Geralt’s new swords. You smiled softly at your Witcher and his heart threatened to jump out of his chest. You always had that effect on him and he had long accepted it as part of existence.

“Nilfgaard is a long way down the continent, you better start travelling immediately,” you stated with forced cheerfulness. You were going to miss him while he was away. “We,” he grunted and you stared at him with wide eyes. “What?” “We,” he repeated more clearly and you were sure had heard him correctly this time. He wanted to take you of all people as his guest for the coronation of the new Empress? You didn’t respond for a long moment and he feared that he had overstepped by not asking you and instead assuming that you would accompany him.

Before he could backtrack on this statement you clapped your hands excitedly and then flung your arms around him. “I’ve never been to Nilfgaard. And this way I finally get to meet the famous Ciri” You could sense his laugh rumbling through is body as he held you close and your heart was beating rapidly in your chest. He easily picked up on your quickened pulse and a feeling of warm contentment spread through his body. You started planning the details and Geralt insisted that you would use the gold attached to the invitation to hire a carriage to get you all the way to Nilfgaard safely and comfortably.

The next day he hired a messenger to deliver information regarding your arrival to the imperial palace and you spent a good amount of time picking out the best provisions for the journey. “What about appropriate clothes?”, you enquired and Geralt pointed out that the invitation stated both of you would be dressed by the chamberlain on your arrival. He had asked Elihal to share both of your measurements from a previous visit and had included that information in the message sent to Nilfgaard. “Looks like we are all set,” you responded when he finished explaining and you threw him one of your bright smiles that he adored so much.

He cleared his throat and tried to focus on the next steps rather than the tender look on your face. He was looking forward to seeing Ciri again, it had been a long time and had only received a few letters during that period. You hoped Ciri would like you and you were intimidated by the idea of facing an entire imperial court of people. But being with Geralt made it all worthwhile and you were pleased that he was taking you. The carriage ride to Nilfgaard was boring and slow and you felt like it would never end until the landscape finally started changing and people at the inns were speaking a hard sounding language you didn’t understand.

Finally, you arrived at the City of Nilfgaard and you watched in stunned silence as the imperial palace came into view. “Well, it’s certainly called City of the Golden Towers for a reason,” you blurted out and Geralt let out a laugh beside you. “This might be old news for a wordly Witcher such as yourself,” you stated in a mocking tone, “but I am just an elf from the Aedirnian forests who is terrified by crowds.” You giggled at your own words and he thought it was the most delightful sound. In his usual gruff tone he responded “I will keep you safe.” and your heart skipped a beat.

You arrived and after paying the carriage drive – you had left Roach with Priscilla in Novigrad – you were standing in front of the palace that seemed so enormous it was threatening to swallow you. Geralt could hear your heart racing and the smell of sour sweat wafted off of you which he took as a sign of agitation. He turned towards you and the expression on your face was downright terrified. “Geralt, I can’t..” your voice broke off and you felt the strong urge to run away and hide in the nearby woods.

He took your face into his hands and looked directly into your eyes. “Yes, you can,” he said in the most soothing voice he could muster and he felt you starting to relax. Before he could overthink his actions he moved closer to you and pressed his lips against your forehead. You blushed a lovely pink and he counted that as a success. You smiled up at him and with renewed confidence you grabbed his hand and moved towards the entrance. He let himself be led, his lips tingling slightly from the memory and aftertaste of your skin.

The chamberlain greeted you both with a polite smile and to his credit he only glanced at your ears once and was nothing but pleasant throughout the interaction. He led you and Geralt to separate changing rooms and instructed you to choose an ensemble from the mannequins in front of you. You had never worn, let alone owned such intricate and extravagant clothing and it took you an embarrassingly long time to choose your outfit. It was all black and had the Nilfgaardian sun stitched onto the sleeves with a thread that shone like gold in the light of the fireplace.

You left the room to meet with Geralt who let out an audible gasp when he spotted you. You let your eyes roam over his outfit and you had to admit that while you loved his Witcher armour, he did look fantastic dressed in these lavish materials. Geralt wanted to compliment you but the words kept getting stuck in his throat as he let his gaze wander over your form. You looked almost ethereal and he swore that he would invest in formal clothing for you once you were back from your visit. You smiled at each other and the chamberlain awkwardly cleared this throat to grab your attention.

He led you down winded corridors and through an elegant looking garden to finally arrive at what you assumed was Ciri’s room. Before the chamberlain had the chance to formally announce your arrival, the door flung open and a whirlwind of white hair ran out and jumped into Geralt’s waiting arms. “Geralt! You’re here! Oh, I’ve missed you so much”, Ciri exclaimed and your heart warmed at the obvious affection shared between the two. His smile was easy and soft and Ciri looked at him as if he were the stars in the night sky. You knew the feeling.

Geralt quickly introduced you and Ciri enveloped you in a hug as well. You held onto the woman and you immediately experienced the same feeling of security you associated with your Witcher. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you, Cirilla,” you declared softly and she laughed amicably. “Please, Ciri is fine. Not even Emhyr calls me Cirilla any more.” You nodded and you could feel Geralt’s eyes on you. He thought his heart might burst from happiness at seeing you get along so well with his daughter and he couldn’t hold back a wide grin.

Ciri ushered you inside the room that appeared to be a study and you moved to the side to give the two of them space to reconnect. You found a few books that were in the common tongue and you sat down in a comfortable armchair in front of the fireplace while their quiet conversation washed over you. You felt relaxed despite the extravagant surroundings and for a moment you could almost forget that you were surrounded by so many other people, most of them humans. The journey had been tiring and you noticed yourself drifting off.

A large hand on your shoulder brought you back to reality and you looked up to see Geralt’s shadow above you. “Hello there,” you mumbled sleepily and he thought it was the most adorable thing. He bent down to gently kiss your forehead and you heard a surprised yelp coming from where you assumed Ciri was standing. Your face felt warm and you got off the chair to smile at both of them. “I apologise for falling asleep,” you muttered but Ciri shook her head. “Don’t worry about it at all. Unfortunately, I have a dreadfully boring meeting with my father’s advisors coming up so you’ll have to excuse me.” She hugged you both goodbye and a moment later you and Geralt were on your way to your rooms.

Chapter Text

Luckily he had been here before because you didn’t have the faintest clue where anything was and each grand hallway you passed looked like the previous one. You took Geralt’s hand to ensure you wouldn’t lose him and he lead you confidently to one of the guest wings. You registered with relief that they had given you adjacent rooms, knowing Geralt was nearby was helping with your anxiety a great deal. “Do you want to go to sleep?”, he enquired when you reached the large wooden doors. You shook your head and grinned at him “No, I want to see the palace! Can you show me around?”

He let out an annoyed huff but complied and for what seemed to be hours the two of you walked around the grand palace and you were mesmerised by everything you spotted. There were many magnificent rooms, each larger than the next and full of expensive furniture and outrageous decorations. You adored all the little garden areas that were uniquely Nilfgaardian style, Geralt explained. Every house on the continent should have patches of vibrant flowers planted around ornate fountains and giant statues, you thought.

All of it was extraordinary and you felt privileged for being able to experience the palace’s glory with your favourite person. Geralt watched you with a pleased look on his face and your wonder and excitement made his heart flutter every time you smiled at him. After a while your exhaustion did catch up with you and you decided to sit down on one of the many marble benches. You were currently overlooking a spacious courtyard that seemed to be mainly used for sparring and weapons training. You watched a pair of royal guards practice blocking with a shield for a while before you got up to finally lie down in your room.

You were completely turned around and had no understanding where your rooms or the guest wing even were in relation to your current location so you turned to Geralt for help. “Come here,” he announced and lifted you up onto his back. You wanted to protest but you were shaking with tiredness and this way you would get to a bed significantly faster. You walked past a few confused looking nobles but nobody said a word and you were grateful. “Good night,” you kissed Geralt on the cheek and walked into the lavish room that had been prepared for you.

This one room was larger than any house you had ever been in and everything looked elegant and valuable. You walked around carefully, painfully aware of the fact that one of those gilded vases probably cost more coin than you ever owned in your entire life. Despite your tiredness you made an effort to wash yourself and change into something more appropriate for sleeping. You draped your intricate black outfit over a chair and crawled into the bed that was softer than a kitten’s tummy fur and way too large for your small frame. You were asleep in moments, dreaming of bathing in golden silk and walking hand in hand with a large shadow.

You woke up with the midday sun warming your face and you felt more rested than you had in a long time. Someone had prepared a bath for you sometime earlier that morning and while you found it unnerving that people would just go in and out without your knowledge, a bath did sound splendid. You sat in the opulent tub until the water had gone cold and your skin was dry and wrinkly all over. Your hair and skin smelled of all the different soaps and creams you had discovered in the bathroom and it felt truly luxurious.

As you were considering if it was acceptable to put on yesterday’s clothes your eyes fell on a mannequin near the door. Someone had arranged a new ensemble for you and you wondered exactly how many garments they had prepared for your stay at the palace. The thought of wearing something new every day was mind-blowing and you let out a disbelieving laugh. Today’s outfit was sky blue and you noticed that it came with an intricate looking head band. You’d have to ask Geralt to help you with that and left it alone for now.

A knock on the door and your name being called distracted you from gazing upon yourself in one of the many mirrors in your room. You recognised Geralt’s voice and opened the door with a smile. He looked at you with an appreciative grin and inhaled the flowery scent coming from your hair. “Emhyr wants to see us,” he declared and his facial expression changed into one of annoyance. Maybe to him it was only “Emhyr” but to you it was the current Emperor of Nilfgaard and you suddenly felt awfully nervous and restless. Geralt noticed your distress and moved closer to you to gently press his lips against your forehead while holding your head between his warm hands.

He had caught on to the fact that physical touch was the most effective and straightforward way to calm your nerves and he was happy to do it. Every time he touched you more intimately than just casual contact a content warmth bloomed in his chest and he felt like he was floating. You often called him your protector or saviour but to him it was him being saved from a life of eternal darkness. Your affection and praise were an anchor to him and he never wanted to let you go. He gently took your hand to lead the way and didn’t let go until you were face to face with the chamberlain.

“You are about to stand before the Ruler of the North and South. I must confirm that the gentleman and his guest know how to bow,” he stated with a solemn expression on his face. You knew Geralt was about to let out a cynical response so you quickly replied in the most polite voice you could muster “Please do. We practised on our journey here but we would be happy to go over the steps again.” Your Witcher threw you a betrayed look but you only shrugged and focused your attention back on the man in front of you. After he was satisfied that you did indeed know how to bow, he opened the door with a flourish and you entered warily.

The chamberlain exclaimed something in Nilfgaardian which you knew from Geralt was the introduction of Emhyr var Emreis, including his full name “The White Flame Dancing on the Graves of his Foes”. You gave Geralt a hard glare to ensure he wasn’t going to be difficult and bowed as gracefully as you could manage with your gaze on the floor. The emperor was seated behind a grand desk wearing a cold expression and you were incredibly glad you didn’t have to meet him on your own.

“Greetings, Witcher” His voice was as remarkable as his presence and you felt increasingly small and unimportant. “Your Imperial Majesty,” Geralt responded drily, “May I introduce you to - “ Emhyr interrupted him with a huff “I know everyone who enters my palace.” He turned to you and continued in a softer voice “Welcome to the imperial court. It seems that the Witcher’s company does include individuals who understand decorum and respect.” You smiled at him and you were relieved that your hours falling over trying to bow properly had evidently paid off.

“Thank you, your Imperial Majesty. It is an honour to be here.” You despised formalities and most human customs but that did not mean you were unable to wield politeness like a weapon. He nodded and turned his gaze back to Geralt who was frowning and fidgeting with his doublet. His face didn’t betray any emotion but he was intrigued to witness how you were wrapping the stern emperor around your finger as if you had been at court all your life.

Emhyr explained the details of Ciri’s coronation and how the official event would be followed by a traditional Nilfgaardian parade. It all sounded grand and exciting and you felt some of your nervousness wash away as he spoke in his smooth baritone. “The Witcher and I will now converse alone,” he announced with a pointed look in your direction, “Mererid!” That seemed to be the name of the chamberlain as he appeared instantly and gently ushered you outside. You sat in an ornate chair near the fireplace while you waited for Emhyr and Geralt to complete their business.

After his audience with the emperor was finished, you and Geralt spent the rest of the day looking at all the magnificent horses in the imperial stables. They were majestic animals and larger than any horse you had ever seen and you were pleased when they allowed you to stroke their soft nostrils. Over the next weeks the two of you fell into a comfortable routine, exploring new areas and wandering around the splendid palace gardens. Due to the impending coronation, Ciri was increasingly busy and you only got to see her for a quick meal or a horse ride every now and then.

Finally, the big day arrived and the entire palace was buzzing with nervous energy and everyone seemed to be running around on some important errand. You had woken up earlier than usual and watched the sunset from your room’s attached balcony. You heard rustling inside the room and waved politely when you saw one of the servants put your coronation outfit onto the mannequin. You had gotten used to people going in and out of your quarters unannounced by now and had even chatted to a few of them. You found it regrettable that the royal palace didn’t seem to employ any elves but you understood that not many of your kind travelled this far south down the continent. “Everything is ready for you,” the servant exclaimed and disappeared out the door before you could say thank you.

You touched the smooth fabric of today’s clothing ensemble and it felt even more outrageously fanciful than the previous ones. You had to ask Ciri who the court dressmaker was and give them your highest regards. You looked yourself over in the mirror and marvelled at the way the colour seemed to fade between black and dark blue. This time the outfit came with a highly sophisticated headpiece and you went over to Geralt’s room to enlist his help. Unfortunately, royal garments were not his forte either so you ended up calling one of the servants over for support.

It turned out that the headpiece cleverly disguised the tip of your ears, making you appear human to anyone who didn’t take a closer look. You knew it couldn’t have been coincidence and you internally praised whoever came up with this genius decision. While Nilfgaardians were more open-minded than the people on the continent they would still not be used to seeing elves on a daily basis and you were relieved that you wouldn’t draw unnecessary attention to yourself. The servant put a final pin in your hair to ensure the piece wouldn’t slide off and excused themselves to attend to their other duties.

Geralt looked stunning in a black doublet that had the outline of a silver wolf stitched on the front, with matching trousers and dress shoes. You complimented him and you swore the tips of his ears turned a light rose colour which pleased you greatly. You knew he couldn’t truly blush due to his mutations and slowed heart beat so this counted as a success in your book. He smiled and held out his arm for you to hold onto. He thought you looked divine and he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you as you were walking next to him through the bustling corridors.

Chapter Text

“Geralt!”, you heard a melodic voice call out and both of you stopped in your tracks. Only very few people here knew him as anything other than “the Witcher” and you didn’t recognise the person. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed his expression darken as he gruffly responded “Yen.” You had expected her to be here since she had helped raise Ciri but you still felt nervous about meeting Geralt’s all-powerful ex who was known for holding a grudge. “So good to see you,” Yennefer exclaimed and her voice was as sweet as those honey cakes Jaskier enjoyed so much.

She practically threw herself at Geralt and you let go of his hand to give them some space. He reluctantly returned the embrace and grunted something that sounded at least affirmative. She pulled back and looked at you as if she had only just noticed your presence. “And who is your delightful guest?” She had a dangerous look on her face and you felt like she might turn you to stone if you held her gaze for too long. Geralt introduced you and you smiled at her in what you hoped was an appeasing manner.

Geralt groaned quietly, hoping for Yennefer to move on to someone else soon as he could tell you were uncomfortable and he too wasn’t exactly yearning for her company. He hadn’t properly spoken to her since that time on the stranded ship and he got the impression she still hadn’t forgiven him for the breakup. She turned her steely gaze back onto him and started asking innocent sounding questions about how the two of you met and how the joint travels were going. You could tell that her mood grew more and more resentful and strangely hostile as you talked.

“Well, at least he’s not keeping you chained to him through magical wishes only to discard you later on”, she snapped, turned on her heel and sauntered away with a huff. You threw Geralt a questioning look and he sighed audibly. The djinn wish hadn’t exactly been his finest hour and he was worried you would think less of him for it. Despite his feelings on the matter, he steered you into a quiet corner and told you the whole story. “It was a moment of desperation, you thought she was going to die,” you responded in a soft voice when he finished and he felt relief wash over him. “Thank you for telling me, it means a lot”, you added and you could feel yourself blushing fiercely.

He reached out to take your hand again and with a lighter heart and a low fluttering in his chest, he led you through the palace towards the grand hall where the coronation would take place. The amount of people was utterly overwhelming and you felt the urge to run and hide as soon as you entered the room. He bent down to kiss your cheek and softly stroke your hair and you focused on taking deep breaths to calm yourself. The chamberlain popped up in front of you and explained that while Geralt would sit with Ciri as one of the honoured guests, you had to stay further back during the ceremony.

You didn’t like the thought of being separated but at least at the back there was less chance of people staring at you or attempting to start a conversation. You could tell that Geralt was displeased but neither of you wanted to make Ciri’s important day difficult for her so you parted ways with one last tight embrace. The coronation ceremony was long and tedious and you didn’t understand a single word since all of it was in Nilfgaardian. You almost nodded off at one point but the beautifully dressed lady next to gave you a subtle nudge before you could embarrass yourself.

You could see Geralt and Yennefer at the table closest to Ciri and you couldn’t deny the stab of jealousy that shot through you when you noticed the sorceress leaning over to whisper something in his ear. You had no claim on the Witcher but something about Yennefer’s possessive behaviour managed to tickle all the nasty bits in your gut. You focused back on Ciri herself who looked absolutely stunning in her black and gold gown with a matching headband and gloves. The Goddess of Nilfgaard, you thought with a smile.

After a final speech by – now former – Emperor Emhyr the ceremony ended with the entire hall erupting in thunderous applause and a chanting chorus of “Empress Cirilla”. You pressed yourself against a wall to avoid people running into you on their way outside where the grand parade would begin shortly. You looked up to the table for honoured guests and your heart jumped with joy when you saw Geralt already moving through the crowd towards your spot. Yennefer was glaring daggers at his back and you wondered what they had talked about before.

He had only spent a few hours near the sorceress and he felt like he was ready to jump out of his skin. Yennefer always knew how to get to him and involving you in her plotting did not sit right with him. You were innocent and it was not your fault that their relationship had escalated and then ended so badly. He took a deep breath and tried to calm his temper since he didn’t want to take it out on you. You looked so small and forlorn hugging the wall and he felt a surge of protectiveness spread through his chest.

You ran towards him when he came close and he easily caught you when you flung yourself at him. Arm in arm you followed the crowd outside the palace gates to watch the parade. Sometimes being elven was a curse and this was definitely one of those moments. Why were humans so tall? All you could see was the backs of the people in front of you and you let out an annoyed groan. Geralt took one look at you and then his strong arms were lifting you up high to sit on his shoulders. He held onto your legs to ensure you wouldn’t fall and your hands rested gently on his head. You leaned down to whisper a thank you in his ear and then trained your eyes on the spectacle in front of you.

The royal parade was unlike anything you had ever seen or even imagined in your wildest dreams. The wagons were being pulled by stunning black horses in golden reins and each one looked different to the next. They were decorated with sparkling materials you couldn’t name and some had intricate designs on them that depicted animals or important landmarks. After what seemed an endless stream of extravagancies the parade ended with a marching band playing a Nilfgaardian melody most in the crowd appeared to recognise.

Your eyes and ears were entirely overstimulated by the day’s events and you begged Geralt to take you somewhere quiet and preferably without people. He put you back down on the ground, grabbed your hand and confidently led you to a secluded rose garden you had discovered on one of your palace explorations. You sat down on a stone bench and closed your eyes to try and recover a sense of equilibrium and calm. You heard Geralt sit down next to you and leaned into his side with a smile.

You sat in blissful silence for a while and eventually your ears stopped ringing and you felt able to open your eyes again. You were admiring the different shades of roses they had planted when you heard a faint giggle followed by a rumbling laugh and you looked up to see who had disturbed your peace. You were surprised when your eyes fell on Ciri, now dressed in a less formal robe, who was accompanied by an Aen Elle elf of all people. “Geralt!” she exclaimed with a shriek and you could see her looking anxiously between the Witcher and the grey haired elf.

Said Witcher frowned deeply and slowly stood up to greet the pair. “Avallac'h,” his gruff voice echoed against the stone pillars and he didn’t sound pleased. The elf seemed entirely unfazed and nodded his head in greeting to you both. You introduced yourself with a polite smile and you felt Ciri relax slightly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you” The newly crowned Empress spoke softly and kept her eyes on Geralt who seemed to have a storm cloud hanging over his head. Ciri continued with a pleading smile “Avallac'h came back to me after the battle against Eredin and we realised that we actually work well together. And more recently, well..” At those words Avallac'h squeezed her arm in a soothing gesture and you could see a blush forming on her face.

You decided that you did not need to take part in this conversation and that this was between father and daughter. You gave your Witcher a reassuring grin and then sat down near the basilisk shaped fountain. Geralt was too stunned at Ciri’s confession to respond but he appreciated your comfort. Avallac'h seemed to have come to the same conclusion as you and his calm voice rang out in the night’s silence “I believe it is best if I let Zirael explain everything to you, Geralt” You waved him over with a smile and he came to sit opposite you on a stone bench.

Geralt and Ciri moved to a different part of the garden and all you could hear were scraps of their conversation. You turned your focus to the serene looking elf in front of you and you wondered if he would indulge your questions about Eredin and the Wild Hunt. Geralt hated the subject and was always extremely tight-lipped despite your pleading and urging. Avallac'h seemed to have noticed your internal struggle and enquired softly “Is there anything you wish to know? I fear your face might end up bent into a question mark shape if you don’t voice your thoughts.”

You laughed at the image and immediately launched into an onslaught of questions which he answered patiently and to the best of his ability. Eventually your curiosity was sated and you thanked him for taking the time to share his knowledge and experience. He simply nodded and you fell back into a companionable silence. Geralt and Ciri were walking back to where you sat and when you saw them arm in arm and laughing you instantly felt relieved. You didn’t like the idea of the two of them arguing and you were pleased to see them so casual and open with each other.

Geralt looked directly at Avallac'h and with a serious tone in his voice he said “Protect her.” to which the elf solemnly nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. Ciri hugged you goodbye and the pair walked off into the night, holding hands and gazing at each other adoringly. You sighed happily and declared “I like seeing them together. Ciri seems happy” Geralt only huffed and came to sit down next to you.

“Thank you for taking me to Nilfgaard, it has been a great adventure” He smiled at your words and leaned down to gently kiss your forehead. You leaned into his touch and his warm hands felt grounding and made your heart flutter in your chest. You melted into his arms and for a long time the only thing that could be heard was your shared breathing and a faint ringing of bells coming from the central square. Geralt thought that taking you to come here had most certainly been one of his better decisions and he closed his eyes to focus on the feeling of your body against his.