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Chapter Text

It is on one of the rare occasions that Yoo Joonghyuk has returned to the party headquarters from his many hidden scenario grinds that Han Sooyoung monopolises his attention to rant to him about Yoo Sangah’s many faults. But why, of all people, would she pick the ill-tempered, intolerable Yoo Joonghyuk to rant to? Because everyone else in Kim Dokja’s Company is too blinded by Yoo Sangah’s superficial ‘perfection’ to notice her shortcomings and Yoo Joonghyuk is, unfortunately, the only person who is indifferent to Yoo Sangah’s ‘kind’ acts (because of course they are acts! No one is truly that genuinely nice!), leading to the current situation: Han Sooyoung leaning against the kitchen tower, waving her lemon lollipop around like a lunatic while Yoo Joonghyuk methodically peels potatoes with his sword.

‘She’s just so insufferable, you know? Like, how dare she be so perfect?’ At this point, Han Sooyoung starts gesticulating even more wildly and digressing into writer mode.
‘What’s up with her peerless beauty, unique among the entire star stream that could slap Aphrodite across the face thousands of times and still not be enough? Her warm topaz eyes, constantly glimmering with infinite benevolence or her ceaseless optimism, always encouraging others - I mean what is that bullshit? Who is she, God? And how she always smiles so kindly, offering to help people even if they’re bitchy or taking her for granted or have attitude issues like who does she think she is, helping everyone? Does she think she’s so important that everyone wants her help, hah?’

Han Sooyoung huffs angrily, crossing her arms. Being as cynical as she is, Han Sooyoung adamantly refuses to believe that a person as put together and faultless as Yoo Sangah exists - there must be something deep beneath the façade she presents to the world that is not as moral and proper as she appears to be. Taking in a deep breath, she continues her rant, ‘And her visuals! How is it possible for someone to be so gorgeous? Especially when she was wearing the chinese dress and garter belt! I hate to admit this but that rat bastard has good taste!’

Picturing Yoo Sangah in her mind wearing the outfit, Han Sooyoung feels her cheeks heat up in a blush. But why? Well, there is really only one viable conclusion - she must be so angry of already rich, privileged people (from what little she knows about Yoo Sangah’s past, she used to work in a high position at Kim Dokja’s company, her parents were probably the rich CEOs or something) also being effortlessly pretty that her cheeks are inflamed with the injustice of it! Then a loud crash sounds when Yoo Joonghyuk slams his fist against the kitchen counter, looking fed up with Han Sooyoung’s blabbering. Han Sooyoung feels disappointed. Could it be that even the emotionless Yoo Joonghyuk has been brainwashed by Yoo Sangah’s superficial ‘perfection’? But no - surprisingly, Yoo Joonghyuk chooses to display a rare moment of emotional and physical maturity, speaking a whole sentence like a civilised human (Wow! Such progress!) instead of grunting answers like he usually does. As if the shock of that wasn’t enough, the sentence that Yoo Joonghyuk proceeds to utter makes her choke on her candy.

‘Have you ever considered that maybe you are in love with Yoo Sangah.’

After recovering from her choking fit (no thanks to the idiot sunfish who just watches impassively) she splutters indignantly, ‘Of course not! Why would I-’

‘Then why do you look at her so intensely with your revolting heart eyes every time she walks into the same proximity as you.’ Yoo Joonghyuk states with such flat intonation that Han Sooyoung is momentarily caught off guard. But she recovers quickly, singing Sorry, I’m an anti-romantic as she smirks obnoxiously at Yoo Joonghyuk.

‘Seriously though, no way, there is zero possibility that I like her - the very suggestion is so offensive, do you persist to know nothing about me even after our three? Two? Four? Years of acquaintance? Anyway, don’t misunderstand. Those are definitely glares of extreme hatred, you know?’

Yoo Joonghyuk shakes his head in annoyance, turning back around to peel his potatoes like nothing has happened.

‘Also, you saying that is like comparing me to Kim Dokja staring at you like a lovesick idiot every time you walk near him and complaining to me about how he thinks that you hate him and his endless soliloquies of your strong jawline and thick eyebrows when he rants about his unrequited love towards you-’ Realising her unintentional reveal of Kim Dokja’s feelings, she slaps her hand over her mouth, stifling her laughter when she is treated to the delicious sight of Yoo Joonghyuk’s usually stony face switching quickly between every single colour and finally settling on a lurid puce as the veins on his temples bulge alarmingly, ticking away as he storms away to do… whatever emotionally constipated, lovesick, edgy idiots do, like carve statues of their loved ones and hide them in a cave, maybe? It doesn’t really matter, but what does is what she just lost… probably the rest of the delicate, lingering trust Kim Dokja still has for her.

God dammit, where will Han Sooyoung get her gossip from now?

Chapter Text

The next day, there is a minor scenario that doesn’t require many people to complete. But because the world is harsh, cruel and unjust, Han Sooyoung is removed from her slacker life and forced to put in actual effort. How dare kimcom members disrespect her like that, she is obviously suited for much more glorious conquests (such as laying on her bed snacking all day while her fellow nebula members obey her every whim and command). Even worse, Han Sooyoung is paired with Yoo Sangah for this scenario. Oh, the inequity of the world! But whatever, they did promise her 50 mana potions and 15 boxes of her favourite lemon candies upon her return.

Yet confusingly, as impossible as Yoo Joonghyuk’s suggestion is, Han Sooyoung had found herself obsessively picking it apart in her head for the rest of yesterday, resulting in little to no sleep. Is it possible that she likes Yoo Sangah? She doubts it very much. It’s just not possible!

So why, then, does she keep thinking about it?

Why is it that whenever she thinks about the possibility, her heart fills with some soft, sticky warmth that she wants to luxuriate in forever?

She is rudely startled out of her uselessly cyclical thoughts by a perfectly manicured hand with neat nails and slender fingers waving gently in front of her face, a soft voice asking her if they are ready to depart. A polite smile greets her tired eyes when she looks up at the taller woman, who is standing in just the right place that the sun is illuminating her figure from her back. She looks divine, smooth skin bathed in the pleasant warmth of sunlight; her straight, tawny hair is immaculate as always, falling to the middle of her back in a silky wave. Han Sooyoung hates her for looking so glamorous in the unholy hours of the morning - who the fuck wakes up at eight o’ clock anymore these days? It’s way too early for human functioning!

So being the grumpy, petty bitch that she is, Han Sooyoung yawns in Yoo Sangah’s face, taking out a pack of lemon gum and blowing a bubble, popping it in a way she knows is annoying from personal experience (i.e. annoying teachers at school - thanks, Park seon-saeng-nim!). Yet Yoo Sangah remains smiling politely at her, unflinching at Han Sooyoung’s attempts at provocation.

Instead, she asks again, ‘Are you ready to depart now, Sooyoung-ssi?’ Irritated by Yoo Sangah’s lack of a reaction, Han Sooyoung reluctantly spits out an agreement and thus they set off, walking because the scenario location wasn’t too far away.

~

When Han Sooyoung was told by those good-for-nothing traitors in her nebula that this would be an easy scenario, she was not expecting having to fight thousands of slimy, dog-sized rats in a fucking sewer.

Curse her groggy self for acquiescing so easily to the suspicious demands and promises of that sly Jung Heewon!

Curse those damned kids (and Jihye) for being so cute and looking at her so pleadingly with their round, sparkling eyes!

Curse Yoo Sangah for looking so regal and elegant even when committing so feral and unrestrained an act as slaughter!

No matter how much Han Sooyoung wants to deny it, Yoo Sangah looks indisputably graceful, agilely jumping between hordes of rats like a majestic lioness hunting its prey. Han Sooyoung is fairly sure that she has already mentioned this, but the world. Is. so. Unfair. How is it that the few avatars that Han Sooyoung is controlling all look bloody and dishevelled, with messy hair and (rat) blood drenched clothes whereas Yoo Sangah is managing to stay relatively clean and not blood splattered? Even the small splatter of blood smudged on the skin of her cheek enhances Yoo Sangah’s attractiveness, rather than making her seem unkempt- wait. Attractiveness? Does Han Sooyoung find Yoo Sangah attractive, not from an objective perspective but from a subjective viewpoint?

No. no, no, no, no. Han Sooyoung does not find Yoo Sangah hot.

Right?

At that moment, Han Sooyoung hears a panicked shout and snaps her head up, instantly noticing what had scared Yoo Sangah so much. A rat had broken into the protective circle her avatars formed around her and is already pouncing on her, serrated claws outstretched and mangy jaw open, displaying a truly gruesome set of yellowish, sharp teeth and stringy, foul-smelling saliva.

In a true main character near death moment, time slows down and everything fades away while her brain storms ahead, thinking at 200 miles per hour. If Han Sooyoung finds Yoo Sangah hot, perhaps that is why she always seems to notice the other woman’s presence whenever they are near each other. So maybe Han Sooyoung is not angry about Yoo Sangah being super rich and pretty with people always fawning over her for such shallow reasons. Maybe Han Sooyoung always stares at Yoo Sangah whenever she sees her because she’s extremely jealous of the other’s beauty! That must be it.

Suddenly the breath is knocked out of her lungs by a certain object of Han Sooyoung’s jealousy, who dives desperately and just in time to intercept the attack of the rat. Han Sooyoung attempts to recover her breath, jumping up at the exact moment to see Yoo Sangah’s eyes widen in shock as her abdomen is ripped wide open by the claws of the rat, guts spilling out. Crimson blood seeps across the slimy concrete of the sewer and Han Sooyoung sees red, vision tunnelling as she increases the number of avatars she has, leaving them to mercilessly decimate the rest of the rats while she turns to Yoo Sangah in a hurry, confused about the extent of her worry for the other woman. Shouldn’t she be happy? The indomitable Yoo Sangah is finally injured and weak, proving that she is not perfect. Why is she so worried? She didn't even ask Yoo Sangah to save her. But all of her concerns are brushed away when Yoo Sangah exhales audibly, the frail breath shaky and full of pain.

Han Sooyoung panics, brain racing for a solution, for anything that can alleviate Yoo Sangah’s pain. Then in a moment of clarity, she remembers Lee Seolhwa shoving a small bottle of her medicinal pills in her jacket pocket this morning, immediately scrabbling madly through her pockets in search for the pills.

Her heart is pounding furiously, palms uselessly sweaty. Her chest feels constricted, as if being slowly, methodically crushed by a hydraulic press. Her shoulders are shaking, but from what she isn't sure herself (Shock? Fear? Worry? Desperation?). Her brain is in overdrive, pulling out and examining every worst case scenario possible and more if she can't save Yoo Sangah until finally, her panicked fingers snag on a round bottle cap. She wrenches it from her pocket, frantically twisting the lid, but the damn thing just. Won't. Open. Hearing another pained gasp from the usually composed Yoo Sangah is like a bucket of freezing ice dunked over Han Sooyoung’s body, cooling her down from her previous frenzied state. Rationale returns to her mind and she proceeds to study the bottle, quickly getting the lid off very easily.

Han Sooyoung carefully fishes out one of the small pills from the bottle, gently opening Yoo Sangah’s slack mouth and encouraging her to swallow. When Yoo Sangah does so with a grimace, Han Sooyoung remembers that Lee Seolhwa’s pills are disgustingly bitter, so she nervously proffers one of her lemon candies that she would never share with anyone, especially someone she dislikes, ahem Yoo Sangah ahem but she supposes extenuating circumstances call for desperate measures. So when she extends her hand, holding the lemon candy and mumbles, ‘Here, now the pill will taste less bitter,’ Yoo Sangah is noticeably shocked, eyes widening adorably. (adorable? She thinks Yoo Sangah is adorable? What the fuck?)

Even more unexpectedly, Yoo Sangah then smiles so sweetly, eyes crinkling into sweet crescents despite her weakened state. Pale, wan cheeks somehow blush a rosy pink when she murmurs a tender ‘Thank you, Sooyoung-ssi.’ It is at that moment that the realisation hits Han Sooyoung like a hurtling truck; her cheeks heat up uncontrollably. She’s not jealous, that’s just idiotic (of course, she's not the idiot - it's obviously some external influence that made her think that way). She’s in love.

In love with Yoo Sangah.

Chapter Text

After that fiasco of a scenario, Han Sooyoug immediately rushed Yoo Sangah back to their current base, practically throwing her limp body at Lee Seolhwa when she returned in her hurry to ensure the treatment of the other. The medicine pill had helped - at least Yoo Sangah’s guts weren’t spilling out of her body with every step Han Sooyoung’s avatars took, but the other woman was far from being in a stable condition, face pale and gaunt from blood loss, unable to remain conscious during their short walk back.

When Lee Seolhwa had finally had enough of Han Sooyoung watching her every move like a hawk, radiating anxiety and disrupting her work, she physically forced her away, ordering her to leave. As a result, Han Sooyoung had reluctantly departed to her room, absolutely exhausted from the rather… problematic events that had just occurred. By then it was merely the afternoon, but Han Sooyoung was tired and stressed, dammit. So she decided to try to rest (the keyword being tried, because Han Sooyoung doubts she would get any sleep with the shadow of Yoo Sangah’s life or death looming over her, which is also irrelevant because Yoo Sangah will be fine. She will not die. right?), and only when she had finished washing up and was lying in her bed did the magnitude of the events smash into her like an unforgiving sledgehammer to the face.

She is in love with Yoo Sangah. At that thought her face heated up uncontrollably as her heart started beating so loudly she could hear the erratic beats reverberating through her mind, conjuring up random images of Yoo Sangah looking so angelic that she could surpass even Metatron’s magnificence. But why was she in love with Yoo Sangah? If Han Sooyoung was being honest with herself, she barely knew anything about her, since her stupid self never really made the effort to familiarise herself with the other. So could this warm, messy feeling in her chest really be labelled as love, or was it merely infatuation? She doubted it was infatuation alone; even when Kim Dokja - that rat! had died in the Dark Castle scenario she had not reacted with as much hysteria as when Yoo Sangah was injured (and now her arduously suppressed concern has returned. Wonderful.). Han Sooyoung also knew that Yoo Sangah is kind, selfless, level-headed and smart (all of which are qualities that Yoo Sangah probably - no, definitely genuinely possesses). But when it comes to more personal details like Yoo Sangah’s favourite coffee, her seafood preferences, whether she is a cat or a dog person or her favourite music artists… unfortunately, Han Sooyoung was woefully ignorant.

But she was determined to know. Even if it isn’t love yet, it has the potential to develop into it and considering the depth of her usual emotional denial combined with her stubborn refusal to believe anything her mind does not wish to entertain, her feelings have probably already long passed dislike and blossomed into love over the past few months of their acquaintance. Despite how overwhelmingly repulsive it is to admit to the sappiness of her feelings, living with the kimcom members has grudgingly made her hope that perhaps there is a place she could one day feel as if she belongs to, that perhaps materialism is not the best philosophy to live by, that perhaps all those happy ever after webnovel romances which she has longed for but was too cowardly to ever consider having, was possible…

Thus leading to her current predicament: nervously pacing around in front of the hospital ward at some random hour of the night (late enough that even Lee Seolhwa had retired to bed for the night), biting her lips raw and twisting her fingers around while also trying (and failing) to crack her knuckles. Dressed merely in a thin purple hoodie and leggings, she hopes she looks presentable enough, which suggests to the mind a very important question.

Why is she not in Yoo Sangah’s infirmary room, where she should be succeeding in her illustrious quest for love, but just standing outside the hospital ward?

Han Sooyoung knows that she should be confident - she has authored many, many, many webnovels. For an experienced writer such as her who has explored practically every trope known to modern literature, pursuing someone romantically should not be difficult at all. However, the more Han Sooyoung considers her nonexistent plan of action, the more she spirals into doubt. After all, Yoo Sangah is no typical powerless, ‘damsel in distress’ female lead - superficial gestures would seem fake and Yoo Sangah would never allow herself to be used in a relationship; actions without emotional communication or merely waxing poetry about her appearance would not impress her in the slightest.

Immediately banishing that unpleasant thought from her overactive mind, Han Sooyoung violently tugs her fingers through her hair, ruining the neatly styled bob from before. She wants to scream, cry, throw up butterflies. How is she supposed to know what to do? Han Sooyoung has never felt any type of emotion of this overwhelming intensity even slightly similar to what she’s experiencing now, thanks to her years of cosplaying as a hermit - living on her own, isolated from the wider world. After all, for all her posturing, Han Sooyoung is in reality just an awkward person; she authors webnovels so that she can interact with fans online instead of in person for a reason!

When Han Sooyoung finally manages to crack her middle finger after her umpteenth attempt, she steels her heart, summoning all the (pathetically) miniscule dregs of courage in her body as she walks into the hospital ward on shaking legs, probably resembling a very nauseous baby fawn, her heart threatening the beat right out of her chest. Slowly looking over all the doors in the small ward until she finds one labelled Yoo Sangah, she raises a trembling hand to knock. Han Sooyoung may be a coward, but she is no loser, i.e. she is extremely terrified but she will do it.

She will.

Her hand hovers over the smooth wooden door, sleekly reflecting the lurid light of the fluorescent light bulbs back into her eyes, as if mocking her, taunting her, goading her, practically shrieking to her: Will you knock or not?

Thoughts of Yoo Sangah flash through her mind, probably peacefully sleeping beyond the thin door, most certainly not wanting to be disturbed. Han Sooyoung will just take a peek. If Yoo Sangah is asleep, then she will leave and probably cry into her pillow about her cowardice; if Yoo Sangah is awake? Well, that’s a scenario that Han Sooyoung is desperate to avoid mulling over. So Han Sooyoung will just take a peek - nothing difficult about it at all. Completely easy, a task of the utmost simplicity. Unfortunately, her cold, clammy hands seem to disagree, remaining in their slightly curled position of being about to knock and no matter how hard she tries to convince them to move, they are stone statues, refusing to move even a millimetre from their position. Nevermind - Han Sooyoung is a coward, so she might as well give up.

She turns around, about to leave when a weak voice softly calls out, ‘Who's there?’

Dammit - her pacing must have been too loud. Startled and scared, alarms screech in her mind, wailing at Han Sooyoung to sprint the fuck away and hide in her room, because any fleeting semblance of a plan was dissipated into nothingness the second Han Sooyoung heard Yoo Sangah’s voice.

Han Sooyoung is afraid. So afraid that she can’t even do the simplest of things like strike a well-meaning conversation due to her fear of messing up, however unlikely the possibility of that is. She wants to run away and never look back; the intensity of her emotions are overwhelming her like a tsunami, flooding every cell of her body with nothing but thoughts of Yoo Sangah, and it terrifies her. Han Sooyoung didn't think that she was even capable of this magnitude of emotion - it's her first time ever feeling this way and she's just… so scared. So scared of the unknown. So scared of such all-consuming, uncontrollable emotions, carelessly running rampant and occupying her every thought. So scared of rejection. So scared of not being accepted (she knows that's completely irrational - kimcom are the most accepting people she has ever met - but feelings aren't supposed to be rational!).

It's also confusing, because isn't love supposed to be straightforward, like it is in books and movies? Fall in love, confess, and you’re done - congratulations! Enjoy your Happily Ever After! Unfortunately, as Han Sooyoung has come to realise, reality does not resemble that in the slightest.

First of all, how do people even find the courage to confess at the expense of possibly breaking the existing relationship between someone and their love? Would it not be much better to be able to maintain the current relationship, instead of potentially alienating themselves from the other forever? Personally, Han Sooyoung is too fond of Yoo Sangah to ever let her go - she would rather remain friends? enemies? (whatever they are) forever, than ever jeopardise their current dynamic. Love requires so much bravery. As an established coward, Han Sooyoung doubts she's capable of that.

Second of all, love is a hungry, hungry beast. It voraciously devours everything: anger, sadness, happiness, fear - it takes over every aspect of someone’s life, delighting in the power it has over that person’s every thought and action, but is still ravenous for so much more; constantly consuming more and more of a person until all of them is made a slave to whatever whims it comes up with - yet its craving and greed is never sated. It's just always so hungry, taking in all it can and howling for more even when there is nothing left to give. Han Sooyoung is no exception - merely another victim to its brutal, beguiling curse of gluttony.

And that curse, swallowing her whole, has left her with nothing but hopeless yearning, always thirsting for more. She’s longing for Yoo Sangah, and that craving is like oxygen in the way Han Sooyoung indisputably needs it to be alive, and the way in which it goes into every cell of her body, saturating every single part of her: her mind, her heart, her hands, her skin until all of her is eaten alive by her longing. She’s been replaced by some bumbling fool, her previous self completely overwritten by her love. Han Sooyoung barely recognises herself - she’s never been the type for long internal brooding sessions, yet look at her now, no better than Yoo Joonghyuk.

Since when had Han Sooyoung fallen so deeply for the other?

Even worse, to think that Han Sooyoung has been mistaking all these contradictory, almost unbearably warm feelings as anger and jealousy… perhaps she was so scared that her subconscious mind decided to dislike Yoo Sangah as a method of protecting herself from the serrated claws of love - once hooked in, they are impossible to escape from, a beautiful yet deadly cage. Past Han Sooyoung was such an imbecile, completely blind to her obvious fondness for the other woman, which was practically fighting, bleeding, losing in a bid to be noticed.

Unfortunately for Han Sooyoung, her ruminations appear to have kept her in silence for too long - the lack of response seems to have prompted Yoo Sangah to check for herself, so when the door opens, revealing a soft-looking, slightly pale Yoo Sangah whose eyes widen with shock at who she sees, she tilts her head adorably as she questions in disbelief, ‘Sooyoung-ssi? What are you doing here?’

It leaves Han Sooyoung beyond startled, able to do nothing but desperately avoid eye contact. She nervously scratches at the back of her neck, only to aggressively yank it away at the revolting sensation of the clammy moisture on her hands sticking to her neck.

Her cheeks heat up as she squeaks - squeaks?! - ‘Yes, ah, I, uhm.’ She clears her throat, absolutely mortified at her extremely pathetic attempt at conversation, even by Kim Dokja’s standards, which are already buried six feet deep into the earth. She tries (and fails) to force her suddenly parched mouth, drier than the Sahara, to expel some semblance of a greeting, but ultimately fails, ending up rendered mute - a deer in headlights.

Sangah seems to pick up on her sudden inability to speak, smiling welcomingly and gesturing her into her infirmary room instead. Han Sooyoung is once again reminded of why she is so hopelessly in love with Yoo Sangah, feeling immeasurably grateful for the fact that she miraculously hasn’t melted into a pile of useless mush yet. But the same can’t be said for her brain, which is at once thinking so fast she can’t keep up and also processing everything so slowly it feels like she’s trying to walk through tar.

Immediately regretting her sudden bout of bravery, she mentally kicks herself, wishing she had asked Lee Seolhwa for some medicine in advance so she would at least have a logical reason for visiting Sangah. Her anxiety is practically radiating off her in waves and Yoo Sangah seems to notice it, causing her to inquire warmly, ‘Sooyoung-ssi, are you feeling alright?’

This concern strikes Han Sooyoung right in the heart like Cupid’s arrow on steroids because even when Sangah is the one lying prone on an infirmary bed, it's still others that she cares for first. What an angel, Han Sooyoung thinks. Sangah is so far out of her league, she doesn’t deserve anyone remotely like the sunshine that is Yoo Sangah personified. But damned if Han Sooyoung isn’t going to at least try to be decent to Sangah like she deserves, so Han Sooyoung decides to bravely speak up, casting her gaze everywhere but Yoo Sangah, replying, ‘Yeah, I’m feeling great! Marvellous! I’m getting along swimmingly!’

Han Sooyoung blushes again, staring blankly at the door handle, internally screaming in frustration at her awkwardness as she avoids Yoo Sangah’s gaze, staring at the extremely interesting door handle. Because of course it’s interesting. Such a state of art door handle - how grey and… sturdy and… shiny. Chancing a quick glance upwards, Han Sooyoung sees Yoo Sangah’s bright eyes crinkle up in barely suppressed amusement, pretty pink lips twitching mildly, so far removed from her usual politely detached demeanour. It’s refreshing, seeing Yoo Sangah in such a vulnerable state.

And while she should probably be feeling offended at the blatant amusement Sangah derives from her lack of social aptitude, instead of feeling mocked from the other’s amusement Han Sooyoung is glad she can make Sangah happy, even if it’s only briefly.
This satisfaction gives her the courage to blurt out, ‘Actually, I came here to, um, check up on how well you were healing, but, um, it seems to me that you are recovering quite efficiently.’

Her cheeks turn even redder as she combusts on the inside. how well you are healing? It seems to me that? Recovering efficiently? What the fuck is she even saying?

Han Sooyoung covers her face with her hands in mortification, once again blushing, mouth spewing out nonsensical apologies for her awkward behaviour. How she wished she had her lemon lollies with her, so she could suck away the awkwardness. Then cool hands gently encircle her clenched fingers, pulling them away from their protective position in front of her face. She peeks through her bangs, expecting to see a mask of blank politeness but is instead greeted by pink lips, curled into a soft smile and as emotionally constipated as Han Sooyoung might be, she has no doubts that in this moment, Yoo Sangah’s bright, bright smile is radiating nothing but happiness, as if she’s shocked that Han Sooyoung would be concerned about her wellbeing.

‘Well, thank you for asking, Sooyoung-ssi. I am, in fact, healing quite efficiently,’ at that, she looks mischievously up at Han Sooyoung, ‘I reckon it must be a mixture of Seolhwa-ssi’s healing pills and your miraculous lemon candy. It was so delicious that it revived me… much like another sour-faced lemon I often see around. ’

What? Who is Sangah calling delicious? Is Sangah referring to someone with a sour, caustic personality she knows? But who could it possibly be… Not the kids, probably. They’re just manipulative, two-faced devils who only behave around Kim Dokja and Yoo Sangah. Not Lee Hyunsung either - that man is a teddy bear, in both personality and physically. Surely not Gong Pildu! No. Sangah loves him like an uncle! Not Kim Dokja. Not Lee Seolhwa. Could it be Jung Heewon…? No - that damn justice obsessed friend of hers bitch is too far gone over Lee Hyunsung, which leaves… her and Yoo Joonghyuk.

There’s automatically no way it’s her - Han Sooyoung is a hot mess and she owns it, but there is simply no possibility Yoo Sangah would ever be into her selfish, cowardly, boring self. So that leaves… Yoo Joonghyuk. Han Sooyoung immediately wants to dismiss that as bullshit (Yoo Joonghyuk is taken in all but name), but doesn’t Kim Dokja always grumble about MC and FL privileges, and the unlucky second MC always being the MC’s inferior in every way, falling in love with the same woman, being rejected and turned into the villain in a fit of jealousy to be cannon fodder for the main couple? And if the scenarios had protagonists, they would definitely be Yoo Joonghyuk and Yoo Sangah.

She’s definitely overthinking a simple throwaway comment. But now that overthinking has made her sad, so she looks up, erases the last minute of her thoughts from her mind and forces an awkward laugh. Rummaging around in her vast hoodie pockets, she hesitantly offers a lemon lolly to the other woman since she had seemed to enjoy it so much, not at all anticipating the sheer joy shining on Sangah’s face.

Perhaps Han Sooyoung should investigate into procuring herself some sunglasses, because if Yoo Sangah keeps smiling like that she is going to be blinded.
Yoo Sangah immediately tears open the wrapper and stuffs the lolly into her mouth, cheeks puffing up. At that moment, she looks like the most adorable, sweetest, kindest chipmunk in the entirety of the Star Stream in all the regressions, causing Han Sooyoung to try not to abruptly squeal as she is once again forcefully reminded of how whipped she is for the other woman, the cute sight trampling over her with all the carefree abandon of a toddler on Heelys for the first time.

‘Sooyoung-ssi, thank you so much for the candy! C-could I, ah,’ Yoo Sangah looks away embarrassedly, a red flush high on her cheeks. Han Sooyoung can’t believe it - The Yoo Sangah, blushing and stuttering? What alternate universe has Han Sooyoung been teleported to? Yoo Sangah forges on, ‘Could I hug you, as, as a sign of my thankfulness to you?’

Han Sooyoung’s brain does a full on, only-in-fiction record scratch at that, brain overloading. She’s too overwhelmed to do anything but nod, too overwhelmed to even overthink things. Then long arms come to wrap around her, and all her noisy thoughts fade into silence as she focuses on Yoo Sangah.

Han Sooyoug doesn’t know what she was expecting but it's nothing like the glorious warmth described in books. Yoo Sangah doesn't smell like chamomiles or laundry detergent or vanilla or whatever webnovels usually meticulously describe. She just smells like hospital disinfectants. Nor is her skin warm and radiating such comfortable heat that Han Sooyoug could melt into it and stay there forever, it's actually rather chilled. Han Sooyoung will have to look into heating in the infirmary. The hug isn't magically in a comfortable position either, with Sangah half sitting and half laying down and Han Sooyoug having to awkwardly bend over to reach Yoo Sangah.

But all that is inconsequential because it's Yoo Sangah that she's hugging. Yoo Sangah, enclosing her in strong arms, smiling warmly down at her like some perfect blessing sent from the god of the gays to give her tenfold the gay panics she now that never experienced as a teen due to too much time spent indoors writing her novels, and Han Sooyoung is a weak, weak woman.

If she stays in Sangah’s embrace for much longer Han Sooyoung knows she will do something she will regret. Something incredibly stupid. Something like kissing Yoo Sangah.

She entertains the fantasy for a brief moment. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? Yoo Sangah is so nice - even if she rejected her she would undoubtedly be extremely nice about it, Han Sooyoung would go cry, and she’d get over it the next day, and they’d be fine and dandy. Hah. As if. It’s very scary to think about, but Han Sooyoung doesn’t think she’ll ever get over Yoo Sangah. It just… doesn’t seem even slightly possible.

She stands up abruptly, breaking their contact. Han Sooyoung mourns the loss of the tight embrace, but she can’t deal with it anymore - the longing is slowly consuming the rational parts of her brain screaming at her to not engage and walk away politely, so Han Sooyoung stammers a brief,
‘Yoo Sangah, I’m really glad you’re healing well, I’m gonna leave you to rest now, okay? I don’t want to intrude any longer. Bye!’
She starts to walk out of the room, only to be stopped by a cold hand grabbing onto her wrist. She turns around, surprised to see Yoo Sangah looking up forlornly at her as she says, ‘Sooyoung-ssi, I’m sorry to trouble you for your time, but could you please stay for a while longer? Hospitals are rather lonely and I would very much appreciate your company if you are willing to give me that.’

With Yoo Sangah looking up to her pleadingly with eyes the size of saucers, who is Han Sooyoung to deny her? After all, she is only a weak, weak woman, and she would do anything to make Yoo Sangah happy.

But obviously she can’t just agree - that would betray her whippedness and break the… enemies-who-actually-secretly-like-each-other dynamic they have going on, so she rolls her eyes and acquiesces with a sighed ‘Fine, but only if I get to sit on the bed. I’m not sitting in that shitty chair for hours.’

Yoo Sangah smiles and eagerly places the blanket aside, shuffling gently to make room for Han Sooyoung to cuddle in. It is only then that Han Sooyoung realises the sheer extent of genius her request was, because she gets to hang out with Yoo Sangah and basically side cuddle with her. So she stays and they chat about anything and everything under the sun, surprisingly comfortable in each other's presence, even despite how naturally awkward Han Sooyoung is.

Han Sooyoung doesn’t think she has felt this happy in a long, long time.

Once she returns to her room and drifts off to sleep, if she wakes up next morning feeling warm and fluffy from dreams of her and Sangah hanging out together, well it’s no one's business but hers.