Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jayce Talis irritated Viktor for a variety of reasons.

The first was his reputation. Jayce Talis was the poster child of Piltover Academy; the widely heralded Golden Boy who regularly made top marks in class as well as being student body president and serving on countless orgs and committees (many that, in Viktor’s opinion, had no good reason for existing).

The second reason was that he was an alpha. A textbook example of the so-called “dominant” gender with his broad shoulders, towering build, and stone-cut features. Of course, the man had as much say in this as Viktor had in being born an omega; nevertheless, it was a constant reminder of the emphasis society placed on secondary genders, and every time Viktor saw his omega and beta classmates (and even some professors) swoon over the well-proportioned alpha he had to consciously fight to keep his eyes from rolling out the back of his head.

These facts were more than enough to ensure Viktor avoided the man as much as he could, but there was still one more reason for his distaste that trumped all the others and it was this: Jayce Talis irritated Viktor because on top of being popular, intelligent, and biologically gifted he also had the gall to be a decent human being.

Jayce, unlike his other classmates, had never treated Viktor as beneath him. As far as he could tell he had never talked about him behind his back or been condescending despite his background (a rat from the undercity slums). In fact, Jayce treated Viktor the same as he treated anyone else, with complete and unerring politeness, which made him wholly irredeemable in Viktor’s eyes.

And perhaps this was also something the man had no control over. From what he had heard, Jayce had been born and bred on the cream of House Kiramman, the most high-nosed family in Piltover. All that money and esteem would make anyone soft. Jayce Talis had probably never had to fight for survival or get ahead at the expense of another. Probably the man had never had an untoward thought in his life.

And so, when Jayce pinned him against the worktable in an empty classroom by the shoulders, his mouth crushed against Viktor’s in what seemed to be a kiss but felt more like a particle collision, Viktor was, understandably, a little surprised.

When they separated there was a moment of stunned silence as if the universe had committed a grave faux pas and was deeply embarrassed about it.

“Um,” said Viktor.

“Shit,” said Jayce.

Which also surprised him. He had never heard his classmate curse before and part of him had wondered if he even knew how.

Jayce scrabbled backward, dropping Viktor as if he was on fire. His irises were blown wide open. Viktor could see his pulse hammering against the wide column of his throat and his expression was that of a man who had just committed a crime and was deciding if he should bury the evidence or flee.

“I… I’m sorry–” he slumped forward, hiding his face in his hands, “Can we just… can we pretend that didn’t happen?”

Except what exactly had just happened?

Viktor rubbed his eyes, taking stock of the situation. The work table still had the remnants of chemical-filled beakers and pipettes, the extra credit assignment that Viktor had been dutifully focusing on when suddenly his lab partner had grabbed him by the shoulders and–

“Talis,” He said, slow and even “what the fuck–“

His labmate flinched as if struck. Skin still tingling, Viktor touched his fingers to his lips and Jayce tracked the movement through the cracks in his hands, something hungry in his gaze.

“Are you … in heat or something?”

When Jayce lifted his head his face was beet red, “N-no.”

Viktor leaned forward examining the alpha closer. His skin, although flushed, didn’t have the fevered sheen of someone in the throes of heat and when he dragged a finger against his forehead, his skin was cool, although a slight shudder seemed to follow in the wake of his touch.

“Huh,” Viktor muttered.

Jayce seemed scandalized at his surprise.

“Is that what you think of me?” He asked, eyes narrowing, “That’d I'd go waltzing around in the middle of my heat?”

It did seem highly out of character. Jayce wasn’t like the alphas who liked to strut through the Academy halls pretending they owned the place. As far as Viktor could tell, he had never pushed his intentions on anyone. In fact, rumor had it that Jayce Talis had yet to accept any of the countless propositions he’d received from pretty omegas asking to spend their heat together.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to think,” Viktor hissed, “Barring that, then I’m just to assume you’re now in the business of attacking any omega you see?”

Again, the man’s face turned a ridiculous shade of red.

“You’re not..” He dipped his head down, muttering the rest of the words to his feet.

The sight of him, weak-willed and meek, was infuriating. Infuriating that he had managed to pull a fast one on Viktor. Infuriating that something inside him had let him.

“Talis,” growled Viktor, “speak up.”

It surprised him when the alpha actually obeyed. He slowly inched his head up, and when he spoke his voice wavered like a harp string, freshly plucked.

“You’re not just… any omega.”

It took a long time for Viktor to digest the words, and even after he did he still wasn’t sure what to make of them.

“Are… are you saying you like me or something?”

It sounded twice as ridiculous spoken out loud. This was Jayce Talis, Golden Boy of Piltover, a certified collector of people’s admiration and someone who could have anyone he wanted. Once a female upperclassman had knit him a sweater (a fucking sweater) and given it to him in front of the entire class confessing her feelings. Viktor didn’t get sweaters or confessions of undying love. Viktor got dirty looks and snickers behind his back.

He waited for Jayce to laugh off his words, to ridicule him for entertaining such a notion, but the man stayed silent.

“Well don’t just stand there,” said Viktor in a growing alarm, “Say something!”

“I didn’t..I-I don’t–” he buried his face in his hands again, “I didn’t plan for it to happen this way.”

This did nothing to assuage Viktor’s confusion and it didn’t help that he was nearly delirious with exhaustion, only getting two hours of sleep the night before.

“Plan?” He hissed, “There was a plan? I thought we were doing an extra credit assignment not going on a date–”

“Viktor–”

“Did I miss the rose petals on the way in? Is a quartet going to start playing? Or tell me, Talis. Is this some elaborate prank designed to–”

“Viktor!”

His tirade was cut off when Jayce's hands clamped onto his shoulders.

“Please,” he said, teeth ground together, “… just shut up for a bit.”

The alpha’s body was a solid wall in front of him and a traitorous part of his instincts nearly bared his neck in submission.

“Don't tell me to shut up,” he protested, weakly.

“You're freaking out.”

“Because you kissed me.”

“I did.” The other man said without any pretense, “And I'd do it again too.”

Perhaps Viktor was dreaming. Perhaps he was still in his dorm, slumped over his desk having the most bizarre of nightmares. Except Jayce’s fingers were vice-tight on his shoulders, too tangible to not be real and his lips were still tingling like a live spark wire.

“I… Is that a confession or a threat?”

A raw sound flew from Jayce’s lips, a cracking noise like a break through defenses. He fell forward, and this time Viktor knew what was coming when the alpha’s mouth slid over his.

Once was an anomaly, but twice was indicative of patterned behavior. The first time, Viktor had been too surprised to register anything aside from his own shock. But now he felt everything in microscopic detail. He was too aware of Jayce’s hands as they moved up from his shoulders to push up into his hair, grabbing onto the strands and pulling. The tender pressure of his lips, which were somehow both rough and soft at the same time. And then there were the noises.

Jayce let out a low sound, raspy like a growl and then he moved a hand to Viktor’s jaw, thumbing at the edge and sighing, “Viktor.”

No one had ever said his name like that before.

Viktor was used to people talking about him. He was a loner, an outcast, and so he was used to people referring to him with anything from whispered disgust to outright disdain. And yet the way Jayce said his name, soft and whispering, was somehow worse than all the rest. It pierced him through the center as if he had fallen on an upright blade.

His breath stuttered and Jayce took the opening to kiss him again but this time it was deeper. Something inside Viktor was screaming, every internal alarm ringing at max volume, and in his panic, he fell back on his deepest animal instinct.

His fist snapped up and he watched, as if outside his own body, as it drove into the side of Jayce’s face. The man stumbled back, hands gripped over his left eye. He moaned, disoriented, the sharp edge of Viktor’s nail had caught on his brow and Viktor watched in slow horror as a drop of blood welled over it.

The room seemed to tilt, closing in on him, trapping him. And then Viktor did what he was best at, the thing that had been instilled in him every day on the streets of Zaun.

He fled.

–

Viktor knew better than most how a single moment could change the trajectory of your life forever.

One pill on your tongue could be the decider between a life of success or one wasted away in the drug dens. One step down the wrong alley at the wrong time could be what left you bleeding on the ground with a switchblade between the ribs.

Indeed, Viktor knew all too well how a second of carelessness could lead to a lifetime of regret.

This was why, when Viktor came to class the next morning, he sat at his desk and immediately felt like he might throw up all over the floor.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Viktor was always in control. He had to be because any slipup in behavior or grades would void his scholarship and send him out the door with a one-way ticket back to the slums. Except by decking Jayce Talis, he hadn’t just slipped up, he had ripped up the whole damn floor.

And so, when Jayce walked into the classroom, with a dark purple shiner of a black eye and a bandaged brow, Viktor felt like a man on death row stretching his neck for the gallows.

He felt numb all over and the worst part was that there was nothing he could do. He could only sit there and wait for the dean to call him to the office and end his academic career (and ergo, his life) forever.

The professor came and did his lecture. The students listened to him or didn’t.

Viktor waited and waited except the dreaded announcement never came.

What did happen was that class ended, students packed up, and Jayce approached his desk, stern-faced, and said, “Hey, can we talk?”

The black eye was a sharp contrast to the rest of his sun-warmed features. It pinched at Viktor’s guilt as he nodded and followed the man out the door.

Outside, the hall was packed, a crush of bodies so dense that Viktor could only trail after Jayce’s broad back like a beacon in the dark until they stepped through the wide double doors of the Mess and the crowds dispersed.

The Mess was, confusingly, not a mess at all but a glistening cafeteria full of students lining up to grab meals between classes. Academy students, Viktor had learned, liked to think themselves clever by calling things what they were not and so the pristine dining hall had become affectionately coined “the mess hall” and eventually slurried down into just Mess.

They had just stepped through the doors when Jayce turned to him and said, offhand,

“I finished the extra credit by the way. I handed it in for us this morning.”

Which was so out of nowhere that his next words came out without thinking, panic-ey and rushed.

“Why haven’t you reported me?”

“What?” Jayce was grabbing an apple from the buffet line, but his hand froze mid-air.

“Your eye. Why haven’t you said anything about it? Why haven’t you done anything? You could get me suspended if you wanted.” Although expulsion was more likely.

“You…” Jayce trailed off, a hurt expression crossing his features. “You really think I would do that?”

“Why wouldn’t you?” People had done worse to Viktor over less. “It’s not like I don't deserve it. I mean I… I broke your face.”

“It’s not broken,'' sighed Jayce, then pinning him with a sidelong glance, “Just properly smashed up.”

“I’m... I'm sorry.” Then, it crossed Viktor’s mind that maybe he should have started with the apology first.

Jayce just stared at him, an unreadable expression on his face before looking away, sliding forward in the line.

“Forget it. It’s my fault anyway. I shouldn’t have… surprised you like that.”

Viktor just blinked. He had been so scared of facing repercussions that he had nearly forgotten about the events leading up to it all. Events such as Jayce’s mouth being smushed up against his. Twice.

“Next! I said, next!” A lady’s voice shouted at him.

“What?”

Viktor shook out of his thoughts to see that they were at the head of the registrar. A mean-faced attendant had her hand stuck out for Viktor’s student card which she would swipe through the machine to pay for the tray in front of him. Viktor looked down at it blinking dumbly.

So caught up, he had followed into line in a daze. Somehow his tray was loaded with food. He hadn’t put any of it there so Jayce must have done it while they were talking.

“Card?” The attendant asked impatiently.

Except Viktor’s card didn’t have any credits. Viktor never ate in the Mess, he couldn’t afford to. Most of the time, he skipped meals, drinking buckets of water so he could trick his mind into mistaking the heaviness in his stomach for fullness. He felt curious eyes burning through his back. Shame crept up the side of his neck.

“Umm, sorry I don’t–”

“Put it on mine.”

The attendant took Jayce’s student card which he handed over without blinking. He didn’t even look at the total when it was swiped through the machine.

It was more money than Viktor spent on food in a week. He didn’t dare lose grip of the tray as they went over to a random corner, and when he put it on the table, his stomach (the traitor) let out one loud gurgle.

“You didn’t have to do that.” growled Viktor, fork clutched in hand, “I’ll… I can pay you back.”

The only problem was that he could clearly see his account balance in his head which was always wavering just above zero.

Jayce didn’t respond, just waved his hand in a movement that seemed to indicate that it was nothing. Which, Viktor reasoned, maybe to him it was. The thought made him seethe, and when he stabbed into his potatoes it was with more violence than was strictly necessary.

“Good?” Asked Jayce, eyeing him hesitantly.

“Great.” Said Viktor, making sure to flash the sharp tips of his canines as he said it.

Jayce shifted in his seat, chewing over his thoughts. He was easy to read, and Viktor could tell he wanted to say something but was holding back.

“Just spit it out.” He hissed after a few more uncomfortable bites.

“Do… Do you think we could start over?”

He stopped mid-chew, lowering his fork to analyze the other man.

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” Jayce sighed, “More than anything.”

Viktor resumed his chewing, mulling it over.

“You’re not going to report me?”

“O-of course not.”

“And no more kissing?”

Jayce sputtered, coughing into his water which spilled over his sleeve, and Viktor felt a mean sort of satisfaction while watching him gasp and redden. It took him a few moments to recover and even then he seemed conflicted. It felt like a long time before he finally held out his hand, newly resolved, and said,

“I’ll behave.”

Viktor’s eyes flickered from the hand up to its owners. The man’s gaze was strangely intense. Hazel irises with flecks of peridot. Viktor couldn’t remember, had they always been that color? He supposed that after kissing a person you began to notice all sorts of things about them and he wasn’t sure how to feel about any of it.

But still, he took the proffered hand, shaking it once before saying, “Clean slate.”

Viktor hadn’t let go of Jayce’s hand for more than a second when a tall lanky figure approached their table.

“Viktor, there you are.”

It was Finn, a third-year alpha made of lean muscle and hard edges with a jet-black fringe that looked sharp enough to draw blood.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you. What gives?” he hissed.

Jayce looked between them curiously while Viktor shoveled the rest of the food into his mouth.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.” He stood from the table, and Jayce made as if to follow.

“Do…” he looked suspiciously between them, “Do you want me to come–”

“No thanks. I’ll see you in class, Talis.”

And he felt Jayce’s eyes on his back the entire way as he left through the Mess doors, Finn trailing closely behind.

“Since when are you and Mr. Class President so close?” asked Finn, leaning against the wall while Viktor dug through his messenger bag.

“We’re not,” said Viktor, vehemently not-thinking about the fact that he knew what Jayce's lips felt like against his.

Finally, he pulled out a stack of papers and handed them to the other man.

Finn took them, weighing the contents. “It’s all here?” he asked, “all five thousand words?”

“Five thousand and thirteen,” said Viktor.

It was an essay on supernova formation for their Astronomy class and he couldn’t help the undertone of pride in his voice. It was a good essay. Even if the name that went on it ultimately wasn’t his.

Viktor knew that doing classwork for other students was a risky move for a scholarship kid, but his stipend barely made for a livable wage as it was. All in all, it was a good gig as long as he didn’t get caught.

“And this is A-plus material?” Finn sniffed.

“A-minus,” said Viktor, challenging, “let’s not be too idealistic.”

“Smartass.”

The other man made a sour face but put the essay in his bag before dropping a handful of coins in his palm. Viktor, fingered through them, eyes narrowing.

“This isn’t all of it.”

“You get the rest when I get the A.”

“Hey.” Viktor scowled, “that isn't what we agreed upon—“

But before he could protest further, Finn shoved him into the wall, pinning his hands and sending his crutch clattering to the floor.

“Word of advice Viktor,” he drawled into his ear, “Do something about that smartass mouth of yours. Or else next time, I will.”

“Ahem. Is there a problem here?”

Finn stepped away, revealing Jayce standing in the center of the hall. He had picked up Viktor’s crutch in one hand. The other was balled into a white-knuckled fist at his side.

“Not at all, Mr. President,” said Finn with a sharp-toothed grin, “Just some friendly rough-housing between pals, right Viktor?”

Viktor’s arm still stung where he’d been shoved but he forced himself to put on a benign smile.

“Yep… You know me. Love a good old fashioned rough-housing.”

“This guy,” Finn slapped a hand on his shoulder and Viktor had to bite back a yelp of pain, “He’s always cracking me up.”

He gave Viktor’s shoulder one last menacing squeeze before walking away and Jayce didn’t stop glaring at him until he was completely out of sight.

“I didn’t know you two were so… close.”

Jayce handed him the crutch.

“Well–” Viktor sighed. “There are lots of things you don’t know about me, Talis.”

The man was still wearing a look of suspicious concern, but for a second he seemed almost thoughtful.

“Yes,” he replied softly, “I think I’m beginning to see that now.”

Chapter Text

When Viktor had agreed to a clean slate he had expected things to return to normal between them.

Before, their paths had always followed a parallel trajectory; always in vicinity but never overlapping. Except now the alpha seemed to be everywhere, always hovering on the edge of his borders, dipping into his orbit.

Viktor and Jayce were the only students in their year taking graduate-level classes and it turned out their schedules were nearly identical, something he had never noticed except now it was impossible not to notice. The alpha was always coming up to him before class to compare notes, then lingering by his desk asking Viktor inane questions such as ‘how are you’ and ‘it’s windy today, isn’t it’.

Today, he had even found the outright nerve to sit at the empty desk beside him. Which turned out to be deeply annoying because throughout the entire class Viktor couldn’t focus on anything except the way the alpha was always shifting and straining in the seat which was clearly too small for him.

His legs were too long, causing his thighs to constantly bump into the underside of the desk carriage; he was often rolling his shoulders and stretching his spine against the rigid chair-back, causing the sides of his shirt to ride up. And most annoying of all, his hands were always (always) fidgeting with something. His pencil. The strap on his bag. The torn edges of his loose-leaf paper.

His fingers were perpetual tinkering machines, and for a brief moment, Viktor recalled the way they had felt on his jaw, curious and gentle.

It made him want to kill something and by the time class ended Viktor was fuming as he rose from his seat.

“You have Discrete Maths next, right?”

Jayce switched from spinning his pencil to touching something behind his ear. The once-bruised skin of his eye had now faded to the original tanned brown, and now only the small bandage on his brow remained.

Viktor shot Jayce the most acidic look he could muster. Again, with the useless questions. The worst part was that he couldn’t even lie and say ‘no’ because Jayce was in the class too.

“Wanna stop by the mess?” he asked, “I heard they’re serving casserole today. The one with actual chicken instead of mystery meat. If we hurry we can probably get there before it’s gone.”

“No, thanks.” he bit out before stepping into the hall. It would be nice to sit in the empty classroom, he thought, peaceful if just for a moment.

Except, as usual, Jayce was right there following at his elbow.

“Cool. I’ll come with.”

Viktor glared at him. “Don’t you have a casserole to fight over?”

Jayce just shrugged.

“I always thought it was overrated.”

Discrete was in a different building on the other side of the quad. Flocks of students were lounging outside on picnic blankets, reading on benches, all taking advantage of the surprisingly warm autumn day.

Viktor still remembered when he had first come to Piltover and taken his very first steps onto campus. He remembered how it felt seeing all those people sitting on the grass under the wide blue sky doing absolutely nothing of importance and how he’d nearly cried because it was exactly what he imagined Heaven looked like. And now that he had clawed his way up from Hell, he would do anything to make sure he never went back.

As usual, he had an endless list of things requiring immediate attention. An extra shift shelving books in the library. A request from a classmate to do their physics project. A textbook he needed to buy that would eat a bleeding hole into his fragile nest egg (which was more of a speck than an egg).

Someday, he thought. Maybe someday Viktor would have the time to sit and marinate in paradise, but it certainly wasn’t today.

And strangely enough, he found that Jayce seemed similarly preoccupied at his side.

As they walked, other students were constantly approaching them to ask something of the alpha.

“Jayce, could you help us get the permit for the charity drive approved?”

“Jayce, are you going to be at the block party this weekend?”

“Jayce, could I borrow your Algo notes, pretty pretty please?”

It was an endless swell of buzzing noise that made Viktor want to tear his hair out, but of course, Jayce Talis said yes to every single one of them.

Yes, I’ll bring it up in front of the committee after school today.

Yes, I’ll stop by for a few minutes.

Yes, no problem. Of course. Of course.

And through it all, he kept wearing that dazzling presidential smile. Only Vikor seemed to notice the minute tightening at the corner of his jaw, his fingers fidgeting at his pants pocket, picking at a fraying thread until it unraveled.

Viktor side-eyed him as a round-faced first-year walked away holding Jayce’s notes,

“You know you’re allowed to say ‘no’ to things right?”

“What?”

“I thought alphas were supposed to be assertive.” Jayce’s brow twitched at this statement.

“Why are you just letting everyone walk all over you?”

“I…” He shook his head. “It’s not like that… I’m in a position to help. And… I like it. I really don’t mind.”

Viktor frowned.

“There’s a big difference between liking something and ‘not minding’ it, Talis.”

Jayce seemed to need a moment to digest this because he paused mid-step and for some reason, Viktor did too.

A gust of wind blew through the trees, flinging clumps of red-orange leaves at their feet. Soon, thought Viktor, it would all be buried in snow.

Winters in Zaun had always been the hardest. Snowy sludge dripped down from the upper city, filling the Lanes with ice-cold muck. There were fewer people on the streets which meant fewer pockets to steal from. On those especially freezing nights, Viktor was terrified of falling asleep because he wasn’t sure if he’d ever wake up. He’d lay there in frozen terror as winter turned everything into an icy grave and even now, he sometimes felt as if he had never fully thawed.

“Life’s too short not to fight for the things you want. Believe me, I learned that the hard way.”

Jayce froze beside him and Viktor could feel the man’s gaze drilling into the side of his face.

What had he hoped to accomplish by saying that? Viktor didn’t know. He sighed, feeling completely out of sorts.

“Never mind… it doesn’t matter–”

“Viktor,” Jayce’s voice was imbued with a sudden sense of urgency.

“Do you think… That is… would you ever–”

It took him several tries to get the words out and when he did they were all squished together.

“wouldyoueverwanttograbfoodtogethersometime?”

“E-Excuse me?”

“Eating... At the mess. Would you ever want to do it sometime? Together. With me.”

Viktor only blinked, caught somewhere between surprise and suspicion.

Jayce was staring at him with a blindingly earnest expression on his face. Which was frustrating and stupid because Viktor knew he hadn’t done anything to deserve it.

Not a chance in hell.

Is what he should have responded with but instead, he turned on his heel and said,

“I’ll think about it.”

–

Viktor didn’t allow himself to have many luxuries, but the one exception was his dorm room.

There was nothing special about the room itself. A cramped rectangle with a twin bed attached to a doubly-cramped bathroom in the corner. The walls were bare and all the furnishings were similarly nondescript.

The only thing of note was the large arched window by the desk. Despite concerns regarding his leg, Viktor had requested a room on the highest floor of the dorm tower and the result was a wide uninterrupted view of the skyline. If he pressed his nose to the glass and focused hard enough, for a second the room in his peripheral vision would fall away and it felt like he was just hovering there in the sky, looking down at the world like some omniscient angel.

It was silly, his preoccupation with high places given the state of his physique. But still, when he looked out the window, and an occasional star peaked out from the black velvet night, he couldn’t help but feel that all the pain had been worth it.

Growing up in Zaun, the sky had been something that Viktor could only read about. He remembered there had been an abandoned water tower two blocks over from where he lived (if you could even call it that) and somehow he had managed to drag himself to the top of it after days and days of trial and error. He had nearly died and his leg had been in hell. But the worst part was when he had gotten to the top, higher than he had ever been past the rusted scaffolding and crumbling shanty roofs, there had been nothing there.

No sky. No stars. The highest point in Zaun was still miles under the ground. There was nothing to see but dirt.

That had been years ago, but for some reason, when he jolted awake in the middle of the night, he was consumed by the familiar sensation of being buried alive.

He hunched over in the poster bed unable to catch his breath and was confused to find he was completely uncovered. Somehow, he had kicked off all the covers in the middle of the night, and they twisted in a puddle by his feet, disgustingly damp with sweat.

That’s when he started to burn.

His blood was molten fire, so unbearably hot he couldn’t understand how his skin hadn’t sizzled clean off. His skin felt achy, suddenly stretched too tight and squeezing him in a choking grip. He curled into himself trying to find some relief but cried out when his blistering erection rubbed against the front of his sleep clothes. Then he noticed how uncomfortably damp his shorts were; he drew one hand shakily behind himself and moaned in distress when it came away glistening wet.

Fuck.

He barely had time to take a breath when the cramps started. The spasms started in his gut, then reverberated outward sending painful shocks up his spine. Wrestling, he tore off his wet clothes, skin feeling unbearably itchy. Except none of it helped. A low whine filled his throat. He wanted, he needed–

Fumbling, he grabbed his cock which had begun to dribble sloppily against the sheets. Except his body was still racked by cramps. He couldn’t move, couldn’t get the purchase he needed to rut into his hand. And god, he fucking needed it.

His hips hitched, causing a gush of wetness to drip between his thighs, and he cried out into the dark wishing for someone, anyone, to put him out of his misery.

It had been ages since he’d been properly touched and now his body replayed the memory of anything it could find in a desperate attempt to relieve itself. The sliver of Jayce’s stomach, bared when he had stretched and his shirt had lifted at the sides. His arms, thick with a vein running down the center. The sureness of his hands which had held him down as if he weighed nothing at all.

Viktor wondered what those hands might feel like gripping onto his thighs. The strength of them as they pried his legs open to–

“F-fuck,” he cried out as his hips stuttered into the bed. His body bent like a pulled bowstring, convulsing as he finished into his hand.

No, he thought, please, please no

It dripped shamefully between his fingers, pooling onto the sheets which, Viktor noted with resignation, he’d need to launder using money he didn’t have.

Slowly, breath after painful breath, the heat spilled out of him, and his skin cooled leaving wet dampness behind.

And when he looked down at his cupped hand, the slick dripping mess of it, any relief was eclipsed by aching dread.

—

The next day found Viktor in a terrible mood.

His body still ached with the aftereffects of pre-heat cramps. They were noticeably worse this time around and had left him wrung out like a dirty rag, shaking with ghost pains until the sun had risen.

He was brooding so hard, he didn’t even notice Jayce speaking to him, eyes full of unwelcome concern.

“Viktor, whatever your issue is with the class syllabus I’m sure you can work it out peacefully.”

Viktor looked down to find said syllabus crushed nearly to pieces in his grip.

“Damnit.” He scowled, unclenching his fist and smoothing out the creases.

Flat against the table, the small type peered up at him. Much like a prison sentence, it felt damning and final.

The paper listed a few projects, a few papers, and tacked on at the end, was the date of final exams which would come in three weeks' time. Of course, Viktor seethed, neatly coinciding with his oncoming heat.

A black feeling came over him and Jayce seemed to pick up on it, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Once again, he had chosen the desk next to Viktor’s and, still haunted by the memories of the previous night, the sight of him was as welcome as a dozen papercuts between the fingers.

He felt the man’s eyes on him; Viktor wanted to scratch them out of his head.

“Wanna grab something to eat? We could–”

“No.”

“Is… this about your student card? I can lend you some–”

Viktor slammed his hand on the table and the other man jolted backward, eyes wide with concern. Normally the alpha annoyed him, but today his presence was a cruel kind of torture.

“Do you think I’m a stray cat or something?”

“Wh-What?”

“Or perhaps am I some kind of joke to you?”

At this, Jayce’s expression broke open like glass beneath a swinging hammer.

“No,” he breathed, “Never.”

“Then stop treating me like one!” Viktor exploded, “I’m not a pet! Stop following me around. Stop buying me stuff. And for the last time, stop meddling with things that are none of your fucking business.”

Viktor stood from his seat, shaking with rage, and strode past the alpha who stared at him wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

Viktor was running on fumes, exhausted and stressed. But worst of all, he was so fucking hungry. And this time when Jayce had offered a free meal a pathetic part of him had wanted to roll over and take it.

Blind with rage, he escaped out into the quad. He collapsed into a nearby bench and dropped his head into his hands and concentrated very hard on trying not to scream.

But it was one of those days where the universe seemed hellbent on rubbing Viktor’s misfortune in his face. The smell of a food cart a few yards away wafted towards him on the wind, grabbing him by the throat and squeezing.

His stomach gave one low growl and an insidious voice began to whisper in his ear.

Maybe, it said to him in dulcet tones. Maybe he could skip laundering his ruined sheets and get something to eat instead. Or maybe he could pawn off the silver buttons on his uniform and have both

His stomach squeezed down on itself in a painful vice-grip and then all of the sudden, his anger cooled into a deep sense of disappointment.

His body had done so many things for him, survived so much, and yet he didn’t have the means to take care of it. He hated himself for this. He hated that he was always having to choose between a life of filth or hunger.

He knuckled away the oncoming tears, he refused to cry, not here, not now, but when he lifted his head he saw that he wasn’t alone anymore.

“God,” he moaned, “what the hell is wrong with you?”

Jayce stood there in front of him, backlit by the sun and holding out something in one hand that looked like a handful of used napkins.

“What part of fuck off do you not understand?”

It was a desperate last-ditch attempt at throwing everything he could at the alpha and still, all he did was take another step forward and say,

“Viktor. Are you okay?”

He wished the man would just curse him out or throw a punch instead. Viktor could take a hit; he could take people’s disdain, their mistrust, their hatred. But he had no way to protect himself against this. He had no armor against the endless patience and care imbued in those four simple words, no shield against the soft caress of Jayce’s gaze which never left Viktor’s face.

“Please,” he whispered, “just… leave me alone.”

A flicker of hurt flashed across the man’s features.

“If that’s what you want.”

And then he finally left, but only after depositing the wad of tissues in Viktor’s lap.

Viktor didn’t let himself look at what it was until the alpha had completely disappeared from view. When he peeled it open, his hands were slightly shaking and this time he couldn’t stop the tears of frustration that stung his eyes.

“That fucking bastard,” he hissed, miserable.

Inside the crumpled wad, nestled at the center, was a single sweet roll. It was plump and shiny with sugar, the innocent appearance a sharp contrast to the ugly feeling that washed over him.

The Academy had been his saving grace but at that moment Viktor couldn’t have hated it more. He hated the scholarship committee for holding everything he wanted just barely out of reach, he hated Jayce Talis for always showing up when he seemed to need it most; but most of all he hated himself because when he tore into the sweet roll, stuffing it into his mouth, it was the best thing he had ever tasted.

—

When Viktor woke up three days later, his body was on fire.

His sheets were angry snakes twisted around his ankles and the entire length of him was wet with acrid sweat. The air was a burning brand against his skin; every breath felt choked.

He struggled out of his clothing in search of some relief but it only seemed to make it worse. His blood pounded through his veins and as he struggled onto his hands and knees, the movement caused something to shake loose within him. He cried out as a tidal wave of shivers wracked his body, and when he finally came to, the entire length of his thigh was coated in slick.

There was a fire-hot ember inside of him, burning from the inside out, and only one way to extinguish it.

Whimpering, he reached a shaking hand behind himself. The whimper grew into a cry as his fingers dipped through the gushing wetness, brushing along the edges of his hole. A jagged shard of relief cut through him as he slipped one finger into himself. But the relief was too short-lived. Unable to gain purchase, it slipped uselessly out of him and his body clenched down painfully on itself, punishing him for the emptiness.

Help, he thought as the spasms began, someone please help.

The murky darkness didn’t respond. Outside, the winter-bitten sun was just beginning to rise. But even as the day brightened, sending sunbeams skittering across the floor, the pain didn’t lessen. He plugged himself again, but it wasn’t nearly enough, not the right depth or angle to reach that place of burning deep inside.

“Help,” he whimpered, this time out loud.

Except no one was coming; Viktor was alone as he always had been. Because that’s what you did to stop a fire. You trapped it behind a door and prayed that it would burn itself out.

But then the door opened.

“Viktor.”

Jayce had kept his distance since their spat, but now the alpha was right there, standing rigidly in the doorway and for some reason, Viktor could hardly recognize him. His nostrils flared and his mouth dropped open, a humid breath puffing from his lips. His eyes blew wide, and when they did he looked changed. The black pupils swallowed everything up, replacing that familiar hazel-green with endless yawning dark.

“H-how did you get in here?”

“I–” Jayce seemed to struggle to form words, “I was worried when you weren’t in class. I asked the RA for a key.”

“That’s… a security hazard,” gasped Viktor, hazy.

He was lost in a fog and with each second, thinking became harder.

The alpha didn’t respond aside from swallowing once, long and slow. Then he stepped wordlessly into the room, shutting the door behind him with a jolting slam.

His hand on the doorknob was tense, one vein jutting angrily in his forearm. And suddenly Viktor was hit with the dizzying urge to lick it. He wanted to follow it with his tongue all the way to the man’s cock.

“Jayce,” he whimpered, and he appeared in an instant. Towering above the bed as he put his hand on Viktor’s forehead. Viktor couldn't help himself. He pushed into it, whining with desperation.

“Jesus Viktor. You’re burning up.”

Suddenly, Viktor was all too aware that there was an alpha leaning over his bed. A sudden burst of strength coursed through him as he grabbed Jayce’s shirt collar and pulled.

He shoved his nose into the crook of Jayce’s neck and took one delirious breath.

“V-Viktor,” Jayce gasped, eyes widening, “Your… your clothes.”

But Viktor was too caught up in the scent of the other man to feel a shred of embarrassment. It invaded his nostrils, heady and sweet. An intoxicating combination of pine and smoke.

“You smell nice.” he sighed, burrowing deeper into the tempting crevice until he noticed the barest sheen of moisture.

“—And you’re sweaty,” he whispered, shivering.

Compulsively, Jayce swallowed again. As if he was drowning in his own saliva, he choked out the words between ragged gulps

“You never skip class… I was worried and I—“ he took a stuttering breath, “I ran.”

There was something comical about the image, the thought of Piltover’s Golden Boy sprinting through the halls in a blind panic.

But Viktor didn’t get the chance to laugh because right then a jarring spasm, worse than all the rest, donkey-kicked through him. A cry splintered from his throat and he clutched at the alpha in distress.

“It hurts,” he rasped, “it hurts.”

“Viktor—“ the man gathered him in his arms. “What’s wrong? Tell me and I’ll fix it.”

Jayce’s body was a corded braid of muscle against him and Viktor crushed himself against it. He rutted forward, slipping into Jayce’s lap and then finally, finally let out a whine of relief when his cock pushed against the fabric of Jayce’s shirt.

“Viktor, Viktor—” Jayce gasped, watching but not daring to move.

He was a cresting wave trying to obliterate itself against the hard cliff of Jayce’s body. He arched his spine, rearing down on the man’s thigh which was a powerful ridge of muscle below. The solid pressure of it caused his hole to spasm and a blot of wetness spread over the fabric, staining it dark.

It was obscene. So lurid and shameful, and yet he couldn’t stop.

“I’m sorry,” he chanted, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

A feeling of hysteria crept up in him, a low whine building to a wail. But before it could burst out of him, Jayce clamped his hand on his hips and said,

“Shh, Viktor. You’re doing so well.”

His hands were so large they nearly touched, circling the back of Viktor’s waist. The weight of them was solid yet gentle, a tether keeping him on the ground.

“Just like that Viktor,” He whispered in soothing tones, sweeping his hands up and down his spine, “so, so well.”

And then he settled a hand, low and possessive, on the curve of his buttocks. Viktor hissed into the sensation, shivering as the hand crept lower, lower, and then finally, tortuously, briefly, dipped barely into the seam.

It was so quick, just the slightest hint of pressure at the place where he was twitching and wet. But Viktor was balanced too precariously on the tripwire of desire. He toppled over effortlessly, letting out a high-pitched cry into the alpha’s collar before something wet trickled between their stomachs.

“Fuck, Viktor,” the other man sighed, a wild and frenzied look vibrating in his eyes. He was panting as if he had run a hundred miles, chest heaving in mighty breaths; His shirt was completely ruined, still dripping with Viktor’s splattered finish.

It was mortifying, but he didn’t even have the energy to feel guilt. All the tension was trickling out of him and then, boneless with exhaustion, he sagged into Jayce’s arms and slept.

Chapter Text

Viktor woke on his side to the sight of the other man’s back. Jayce was sitting on the bed facing the wall, hands clutched on his knees, hunched over as if deep in concentration.

He shifted under the covers and something about them felt different. They were thick and plush, and completely different from the sparse threadbare ones he owned. When he peeked under them, he noticed he had been wiped down, and when he stretched, there was no sign of the fatigue or exhaustion that had dogged him all week.

In fact, he almost felt… good. It was a sensation that was wholly unfamiliar and when he shifted onto his back he couldn’t help the noise that escaped him, soft and content like a cat stretching in the sun.

Jayce’s eyes flickered down at the sound. No longer dilated, they had returned to their normal shade. Hazel green with a quiet ripple of concern. It was so different from the man he had been before. A dark-eyed beast who had looked at him as if he wanted to eat Viktor alive.

“You’re up.”

“I am.”

“You slept a lot.”

“I did.”

“You weren’t in class.”

“Correct. Any more brilliant observations you wanted to share?”

A pause. The man gnawed on his lip, apparently deep in thought.

“Are you… was that your heat?”

At this, Viktor grew somber. It was a simple question but for a moment he floundered at how to answer.

What the hell am I doing?

Overwhelmed, he sunk under the covers. The world had gone mad and it was, for a moment, the briefest of reprieves.

“No.” he finally responded, voice muffled, “Just pre-heat symptoms.”

The other man made a strangled noise of shock.

“And is it… is it always this bad?”

This had been bothering Viktor as well. The severity of his pre-heat had never been so intense and a resigned part of him wondered if all the years of wear and tear had finally caused his body to reach its breaking point.

“It would be worse if it was my actual heat.”

It was bleak but true. If this had been real he would still be burning; the fire wouldn’t stop until he was tied and mated.

Suddenly the cover was ripped off. The light temporarily blinded him and when it subsided the other man’s face was right there, staring down at Viktor with an unreadable expression etching his features.

“I could help you.”

“I… what?”

Jayce seemed unphased by his aghast shock.

“Your heat. It will be shorter and less severe if you have an alpha partner.”

“Partner?” Viktor repeated, dumbfounded.

The man stood, rubbing his hands on his thighs. He must have changed while Viktor had been sleeping because his academy uniform had been replaced with a simple white shirt and sweats. He shuffled, eyes pinned on the floor.

“You don’t have to answer now, just… just think about it, okay?”

Viktor couldn’t come up with anything to say as he left, mind lost in a swarm of buzzing bees. It was preposterous. Impossible. Something he wouldn't have considered in a million years. And yet as the door swung shut, the only thing Viktor could think was,

Partners, huh?

–

Viktor avoided Jayce for the next few days, stewing in his own thoughts. But as he ambled through a twisted maze of his reasoning, again and again, he arrived at the same conclusion.

Jayce was right; Viktor needed help. And as ludicrous as it sounded, Jayce was as good as any candidate to provide it.

Growing up, Viktor had heard many horror stories of what happened when alphas lost control over an omega in unexpected heat. But Jayce had stood firm when Viktor had all but thrown himself at the man. He had held back when a more weak-willed alpha wouldn’t have spared a second thought to seize and plunder.

It wasn’t anything to give him a standing ovation over. But still, Viktor remembered the feel of the alpha’s hands on him, the weight of them solid as a thousand-year oak, the way they had trailed over his spine, calming him when he had been teetering on the cusp of panic.

That night, he should have felt scared, trapped, or uncomfortable at the very least. But instead, a deep sense of reassurance rippled through him at the memory; a feeling like sitting in front of the fireplace after a long trek through the snow.

And so, come Monday, Viktor pulled the alpha to the side after class and clapped a long sheet of paper to his broad chest.

“If we’re going to do this, we need to set some rules.”

Jayce, to his credit, didn’t blink as he took the sheet from him, eyes darting over the handwritten scrawl which read:

Jayce Talis (hereby referred to as the Signee) agrees to offer his services and assistance to the contract holder for the duration of his or her yearly heat.

The validity of this arrangement assumes that the Signee adheres to the following conditions:

No biting
No restraining
No use of degrading language
No recording devices
No use of violent force

“Really, Viktor?” Jayce hissed, eyes narrowing, “Do you think I’m a monster or something?”

Viktor quickly disposed of the flash of guilt that darted through him. If all went well, Viktor would get a shorter heat and subsequently a chance at recovering in time to take his final exams. Jayce on the other hand… well Jayce would get whatever sick satisfaction he derived from being everyone’s golden savior. It was a transaction, thought Viktor. No more, no less. And as such, there was no room for feelings.

“Just covering my bases,” he said, face neutral. “It’s nothing personal, Talis.”

“Jayce.”

“What?”

“My name, Viktor,” said the other man, eyes still scanning the document “If we’re doing this, you’re going to use it.”

Viktor grumbled a bit but didn’t protest further.

“Fine. Whatever.” He took a deep breath before the next part, “Also, you’ll need to take a full sexual health exam.”

He kept his tone nonchalant but his eyes were busily scanning Jayce’s reaction. Part of him expected the man to balk, to realize the ridiculousness of what they were doing, and run away screaming for the hills. But Jayce didn’t react aside from nodding his head and swallowing once, long and slow.

Viktor peered at the alpha, curiosity getting the better of him. “You seem very… okay with all of this.”

Jayce just shrugged. “When I said I’d help. I meant it.”

Viktor didn't doubt it. Jayce Talis looked like the type of man who would follow his word to the edge of the earth.

“It’s not going to be easy, you know.”

This time it was Jayce’s turn to examine Viktor. He stared at him with the same look of curiosity he donned whenever he was working on a particularly nasty multi-variable equation.

“Viktor,” he said, eyes glinting, “The office of the registrar had to specially exempt us from the semester credit limit. We both take graduate-level classes. We do more research than some PhD students I know. It should be more than obvious by now that ‘easy’ doesn’t interest me.”

And then the corner of his mouth tilted up into a lopsided grin. It was a crooked cocky thing and couldn’t have been more different from the tight-lipped smile he normally wore.

Viktor wasn’t prepared for it. His breath caught as his heart stuttered painfully in his chest. Do your job you useless thing, he berated it silently. And as he did, the other man handed the contract back.

“This all looks fine to me.”

“Great, then I’ll–”

“But I have some additional terms.”

Viktor froze. “Additional terms,” he repeated, stiff.

“You have to eat–” Jayce paused, apparently deep in thought. “Twice a day. With me.”

“E-excuse me?”

“An omega’s body is especially vulnerable during heat and let’s face it… your constitution’s not great as it is. You need to improve your health.”

Viktor squawked in outraged disbelief. This couldn’t be real. There’s no way Jayce Talis was standing in the hallway lecturing him about his constitution of all things.

He had to take a deep breath to keep from yelling.
“Listen Ta-…er, Jayce. As ‘delightful’ as that sound, I can’t just—“

“I can pay,” said Jayce with a note of exasperation creeping into the words, “I don’t mi–”

“Unacceptable.” cut Viktor.

“Viktor,” The man’s expression turned solemn, “Malnutrition can cause complications to arise during heat —dangerous complications, life-threatening ones, even… I’m afraid it's non-negotiable.”

The fact that he was right only incensed Viktor more.

“Please, Viktor—“ sighed the alpha, “we can figure out the money later.”

Viktor had to visibly fight to unclench his fists. He reminded himself that this wasn’t a handout, but a loan.

“Fine.” He eventually grumbled.

A quiet look of victory spread over the other man’s features before morphing into something shyer.

“And also… I was wondering—”

“What,” hissed Viktor, still licking his wounds. “What is it now?”

“Th-there’s nothing here about kissing.”

“Kissing?”

Viktor thought he had misheard the man, but Jayce didn’t correct him. He just stood there, staring at his feet as the tips of his ears grew ridiculously red.

“What about it?”

“Are we… is it allowed?”

Viktor’s mouth dropped open, dumb with stupor. It was insane that they were having this conversation right now. Insane that they were doing this.

To Viktor, kissing seemed relatively inconsequential given the man would be sticking it in him already. But a nasty part of him still felt vindictive about the other man’s ‘non-negotiable’ terms.

“It doesn’t seem strictly necessary to me,” he bristled.

“Er… well, there’ve been some promising studies from various universities indicating that it improves omega well-being. The field has gotten a lot of funding from the National Science Consortium recently and—“

“Good for them,” deadpanned Viktor, before turning and walking away.

“Viktor,” the man huffed, hurrying to follow.

“Jayce,” he parrotted back.

It was more of an impasse than a victory, but he couldn’t help taking triumph at the look of consternation that wrinkled the alpha’s features. Point for Viktor, he thought, smug.

That’s when the man grabbed him, leading him by the forearm to the mess.

“What are you—“

“Additional terms,” said Jayce, side-eyeing him with his own look of cock-eyed victory.

Jayce led them through the line, pulling two trays and loading them with generous helpings of nearly everything in the serving stations. When they sat, Viktor could only stare at the mountain of food glumly. Somehow it felt like a monument to his defeat. Point for Jayce.

But the glumness evaporated when he placed a spoonful on his tongue and audibly moaned around it. God. He had nearly forgotten what real food tasted like. For the past few weeks, he’d been subsiding completely on jerky and stale biscuits.

Viktor polished off his plate embarrassingly fast, and without pause, Jayce slid his own in front of him.

“You’re not–”

“I’m full.”

Viktor sincerely doubted that since the alpha was easily twice his size. But whatever, it wasn’t his business if Jayce wanted to starve through second period.

And as he was eating, slowly people began floating to their table. First came Caitlyn Kirraman, a stern girl with pin-straight hair, infamous for her no-bullshit demeanor who Viktor shared a few humanities classes with. Next was Sky, a kind-faced classmate in the science department who resembled a curly-haired mouse. Then a couple more faces that Viktor couldn’t name but vaguely recognized as the entourage that frequently crowded around Jayce, talking and laughing loudly in the halls.

Viktor nodded mutely when Jayce introduced him to everyone, and in response, their greetings were clipped and polite. But otherwise, he was grateful that they mostly ignored his presence, all except for Caitlyn who darted her eyes between him and Jayce suspiciously.

Eventually, conversation began to fill in around them, trickling in like babbling water and growing into a steady current.

“Were you at the party on Saturday? Apparently, they got shut down by camp-sec.”

“Professor Cedwick’s divorce must be a real nut-kicker because that exam was fucking brutal.”

“Oh my god, did you hear? Dimitri got caught shoving his hand down the TA’s pants in the stairwell.”

Moments like this often made Viktor feel as if he was attending a different school than his classmates. The latest gossip. The coolest party. Who was dating who. The things his peers were excited about felt foreign as stars in a different galaxy.

An extra hour of sleep in the morning, a discount on something he needed for class, a rare day where his leg wasn’t inflamed with pain. These were the things that Viktor looked forward to more than anything else but if he said as much, everyone at the table would have gawked at him as if he had spontaneously grown two heads.

“Prepared for the civ quiz today?”

“Quiz?” Viktor’s head popped up, ears prickling.

“Yeah…” said Caitlyn, turning to address him instead of the girl she’d been originally talking to. “The one on classical Mesopotamian social structures?”

Jayce’s forehead was also scrunched up in confusion. Civilizations was a rare class they didn’t share.

“He told us about it last week?”

“Of course he did.” Viktor dropped his head into his hands, realizing it must have been when he had been bedridden.

“Here, I took notes.” Caitlyn slid over a lined sheet with neatly bulleted lists.

“If you study for the next few periods you should be fine.”

“I…” Viktor looked at it almost reverently, but didn’t move, “I can’t take this.”

She just waved her hand. “It’s fine, I memorized it.”

“But… but still.”

She turned an analytical eye towards him, pinning him with her infamous searing gaze.

“Did you finish the chem set? The one due next week?”

Viktor nodded, he had finished it a few days ago during a particularly boring technical communication lecture.

“Compare answers with me when I’m done. We’ll call it even.”

“Ooh,” said Sky from across the table, “Me too, me too. You’re in Differential Equations with Tenenbaum, right Viktor? I'll give you my sister’s old exam books. Word is he barely changes the questions every year.”

His first instinct was to refuse; Viktor had always worked alone, his own way, his own terms. Except now, all of it hung before him like a feast on a hook and suddenly he wondered if his taste for independence was one born out of preference or necessity.

Lunch period ended and Viktor came away with a full belly, Caitlyn’s notes in his hand, and a phone number from Sky to exchange exam booklets. It felt like a surreal sort of dream and when he shook himself out of it, he saw Jayce standing next to him, visibly fighting to keep from smiling.

“What…” asked Viktor, still dazed, “... just happened?”

The man just shrugged. “Come on, we’ll be late for class.”

He looked entirely too satisfied with himself but for some reason this time Viktor didn’t bother to keep score.

–

Viktor passed the quiz. He worked on the chem set with Caitlyn and Sky. He ate with Jayce twice a day and refrained from stabbing the man with a fork.

As strange as the last few days had been, time overtook everything in unrelenting currents. Autumn turned quickly to the beginning of winter. And one day, as Viktor crossed the quad, he was surprised to look up and find the trees bare and sparse, his breath spiraling upward in a white cloud of condensation. Life moved quickly, and like a rocket ship approaching terminal velocity, he had to hold on tight or be discarded as ballast.

“Just the cripple I wanted to see.”

Viktor was jarred out of his reverie by a tall figure blocking the way. Finn stood in front of him, casting long shadows on the pavement.

“What do you want?” Viktor bristled.

“Deal’s a deal.” The man held a handful of bills between them, “The professor wouldn’t stop raving about your essay. Although, next time don’t make me sound like such a dickless nerd, would you?”

For a second, Viktor could only stare at the handful of money, blinking. So much had happened since then; it felt like gazing at an artifact from an ancient past.

He moved to take it but at the last second, Finn snatched it back.

“Hold up.”

“Wh-what?”

“Has something changed with you?” The man inspected him, eyes narrowed, “you seem… different.”

Viktor made a noise of indignation, but the truth was he felt different. He wasn’t tired. He wasn’t hungry. His ribs didn’t protrude so skeleton-like from his chest. His skin, which had always been ghostly pale, had taken on the slightest hint of color. Even his pre-heat cramps which had once been so debilitating were now a manageable inconvenience in the mornings solved with a quick cold shower.

The truth was Viktor was doing better, if not almost well. And as much as he loathed to admit it, a single person was the reason why.

“Hey Viktor, wait up.”

Jayce approached from behind as if summoned.

“Mr. President,” said Finn, smiling with gleaming sharp teeth.

The alpha’s demeanor changed when he noticed the other man. “Finn,” he said without a hint of warmth.

Viktor used the distraction as an opportunity to grab the money and slide it into his pocket. Alphas, he thought derisively, always getting caught up in puffed-up ego wars.

He turned to see Jayce staring at him shrewdly “What are you two talking about?” He asked, eyes darting between them.

Finn’s eyes glinted, something wicked in their depths. “Oh us? We’re just–”

Viktor slapped a hand over the man’s mouth.

“–Catching up. Just. Um. Catching up…on things.”

“Things.” said Jayce, unconvinced.

Finn grabbed Viktor’s wrist, freeing his mouth. Jayce’s gaze darkened at the contact, jaw going tense.

“That’s right,” said Finn. There was a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Me and him go way back. Roots grow deep in the Lanes, right Viktor?”

“R-Right…” Viktor trailed off.

“Oh.” Jayce’s eyes widened, momentarily stunned.

“Well, this has been great fun and all, but I need to get going. Thanks again Viktor for the… ‘catch up’. I’m sure we’ll do it again soon.”

Finn turned to eye the other alpha, chewing something over before cocking a brow and saying. “See you around Mr. President.”

Jayce muttered something under his breath as the man left before turning to Viktor, an odd look stewing in his features.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“Finn, that he’s—he’s from…where you’re from.”

Viktor sighed. “I don’t see why it matters.”

Of course, Viktor knew Finn was the only other student from the undercity. It was impossible not to. Except the strange thing was that Finn had never mentioned it, not to him or anyone else, and Viktor had long suspected that the man was keeping it a secret.

“Are you… do you two–”

“The undercity’s a big place, Jayce.” A big garden full of all sorts of fucked up flowers, as his old orphan master used to say.

Something burned in Jayce’s gaze.

“That guy I don’t…” his jaw twitched, “I don’t trust him at all.”

A cold feeling whistled through Viktor and this time it had nothing to do with the winter weather.

“Of course not,” he strained, “who would trust a rat from the Lanes.”

“Viktor, I didn’t mean–”

“It’s okay,” he said, sidestepping around him. “I know what you meant.”

“Wait, Viktor—“

But he was already brushing past the man and walking away.

It shouldn’t have bothered him. It was none of his concern, what Jayce Talis thought or felt about anyone. Except for the way he had said those words, suspicious and full of disdain, was a cold reminder of how topsiders like him felt about people like Viktor. A reminder that their worlds were completely separate, overlapping only for this brief moment of mutual convenience.

It doesn’t matter, he thought bitterly, it doesn’t matter at all.

He walked quickly, without any regard for his leg, and by the time he reentered the hall his every bone ached fiercely from the cold.

—

He didn’t see the alpha for the rest of the day. He avoided the mess, skipping their standing lunch and escaping instead to the library. He was nose-deep in his reading for an assignment when he noticed something through the window.

There was a cold snap approaching, and now the beginnings of a flurry were stirring, sending white flecks swirling through the schoolyard. Amidst the light snowfall, he spotted a familiar figure running laps around the quad.

Jayce was wearing academy-issue gym clothing that hugged his figure as he ran, puffing out white exhalations into the frozen air. Despite the cold, he bent over briefly to wipe the perspiration off his brow and take off his jacket. There was a brief second where his shirt lifted up completely, flashing the bare curve of his spine.

That idiot, thought Viktor. The man was begging to catch something.

But despite his annoyance, he didn’t look away. The muscular wall of his back, the way his broad shoulders heaved in exertion as he ran, the jerk and pull of the thick muscle along his thighs. It was impossible to look away. A strange hypnosis that caused Viktor’s skin to prickle and a low buzz of electricity to jolt through him.

“What are you peeking at?”

Caitlyn slid into the seat across from him and his eyes snapped up to her circumspect gaze.

“What?”

“Ah,” she said, eyes flickering to the figure in the distance, “Admiring the goods, I see.”

He scowled. “There are no ‘goods’ to admire.”

“You can be straight with me, Viktor,” she said, unblinking, “I already know you're spending your heat together, he told me.”

“He…” Viktor dropped his pencil, “He what?”

“Well–” Caitlyn’s eyes widened, clearly taken aback by his strong reaction. “He couldn’t exactly keep it a secret after all the setup he’s been doing in the guest house.”

A pressure exploded behind Viktor’s eyes sending starbursts through his vision.

“I-I’m sorry… he’s been doing what now?”

She only stared back at him, helplessly confused.

“What–” she griped, “—do you two even talk about all the time?”

“What’s in the guest house? What did he do?” Viktor’s mind was spinning so badly, he would have toppled over if he wasn’t already sitting. He was so nauseatingly dizzy that it took several breaths to speak again.

“You know what? Don’t answer that. Take me there. I want to see it for myself.”

“No. Nope. No way,” She shook her head. “I’m not getting involved in this. Why don’t you ask him about it?”

“Because I’m asking you. Caitlyn. Please.”

“No.”

Viktor made a strangled noise of despair before slapping his hands on the table, determined.

“I’ll help you with your chem sets for the rest of the month.”

“I—“ Caitlyn waffled, “No. I shouldn’t…”

“The rest of the semester.”

She sighed, huffing a lock of hair from her face before leveling him with a contemplative look.

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that? It’s good you two have each other because I can’t understand either of you in the slightest.”

“Caitlyn,” said Viktor, strained. “Do we have a deal or not?”

She sighed, standing. “Well come on then. Let’s go before I start regretting it.”

–

Caitlyn’s driver dropped Viktor off in front of a pristine cream-colored estate. She hadn’t come with, only given the driver directions before muttering a cutoff ‘see ya’ and disappearing across the quad. As such, Viktor was alone when he stepped out onto the roundabout driveway.

As soon as he did, an elderly uniformed woman materialized at his side, smiling at him graciously.

“Welcome sir, we’ve been expecting you.”

Viktor had never been called sir in his life and he could only follow with a dumb look of surprise as the woman led him inside.

The estate was, predictably, the most splendid thing he’d ever seen. Furnished with shining marble counters, subtle yet delicate trimming, and thick luxurious rugs. As they walked through the countless halls, the elderly maid pointed out various parts of the manor.

‘If you wanted something to drink, afternoon tea is being set up in the parlor right now’ and ‘that way is the pool, the young master and mistress learned how to swim right there, you know’ and ‘did you happen to see any horses on the ride in? The groundskeeper should be bringing them in from the snow now.’

Viktor nodded as these things were pointed out to him as if he understood, but it was all just gibberish in a foreign tongue.

He tried to imagine Jayce growing up here, how he might have walked down this spiral staircase every morning to eat his many-coursed breakfast, or take the horses out around the grounds when the weather was warm and mild. It was like imagining a prince in a fairytale, a faraway fantasy, and as Viktor crossed through the mansion he too started to feel less solid, as if reality itself was breaking down.

“Right this way, sir,” said the maid, now ushering him out the wide double doors leading onto the snow-powdered lawn.

“The guest house isn’t connected to the main wing,” she explained apologetically as if this was some massive embarrassment.

The doors let out onto the hedge-trimmed grounds. They trod across the manicured lawn, leaving delicate footprints behind before finally, a squat yellow house came into view.

“Guests of the Kiramman’s used to stay here,” explained the woman good-naturedly. “But it hasn’t been used much ever since the east wing was completed.” She gave Viktor a raised-eye look as if to say ‘you know how it is’ which was so ridiculous it made him want to simultaneously laugh and sob.

She left Viktor on the doorstep, leaving with a parting ‘it was a pleasure, sir.’ He looked at the white-painted door, its innocent facade, strangely daunting. Then, holding his breath, he opened it.

At first, there wasn’t much to see. The door led to a dark mudroom, devoid of any personal objects and trappings, completely clean and untouched. He stepped through the adjacent hall and was led to a small bedroom that was an odd collection of things new and old.

The windows had a sheen of dust whispering of years of unuse. But the modest bed in the corner seemed brand new, thick with blankets and freshly starched sheets. An old-fashioned fireplace sat next to a freshly collected pile of wood. Across the way, Viktor could just barely see into a bathroom that was a mess of loose tiles on the ground next to a still-opened toolbox.

This was a stark contrast to the rest of the manor. It was decidedly more rough-hewn, more hand-made than the pristine sparkling estate. And yet it had clearly been recently occupied, unlike the untouched mudroom. And one by one, the puzzle pieces began to snap together in Viktor’s head, forming something he didn’t dare give words to.

This place. It looked… It was almost as if–

And then he saw it. A slim book sitting on the bedside table. Pages had been dogeared and the cover was lightly bent as if it had been well worn and handled. It was only after stepping closer that Viktor could make out the title.

Omega Care Basics: How to Keep Your Partner Happy and Healthy.

Something slammed behind him, followed by the hurried sound of steps.

“Viktor, Caitlyn told me you would be here. What did–?”

Slowly he turned to the other man standing in the hallway. Behind him, the front door was still swinging carelessly ajar revealing a backdrop of falling snow. Jayce was still sweaty from his run, his jacket tied around his waist. He had the exuberant glow of someone high on endorphins and Viktor had never wanted to punch someone so badly in his entire life. Some of this must have shown in his features because then Jayce stepped closer, a look of concern pooling in his eyes.

“Viktor,” Jayce breathed, “Is everything okay?”

Far from it. Viktor was the farthest possible thing from ‘okay’ and the reasons were all around him. The exorbitant manor. The ludicrous book. This damnable love-nest that Jayce had apparently been ‘setting up’ in secret.

He was so deathly angry that when he spoke, it came out as a whisper.

“Are you insane?”

Jayce’s eyes widened. He stepped forward again, reaching out a tentative hand as if placating a wild animal.

“Viktor–”

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

A hurt pause.

“I… I was going to tell you when I finished, and then–”

“And then what?” Viktor shrieked, “Ask me to move in with you? To stay so I can sit on your doorstep like a loyal little pet and bark when you come home at night?”

“W-What?” A horrified expression bled across the alpha’s features. “Viktor. I would never. Just.. for your heat, your dorm didn't seem–”

“I didn’t ask for this!” he retorted, nearly screaming. “I didn’t ask for any of this! You don’t have the right. How many times have I told you I can’t afford—”

“For the millionth time, I don’t care!” roared Jayce, voice growing frighteningly loud. “For god’s sake it’s just money Viktor, there will always be more.”

Viktor reared back as if he’d been struck.

It wasn’t said as an insult or even an attack. It was simply a fact. And yet, it was the single most offensive thing Jayce had ever said to him because, to Viktor, money was and always would be something that there was never enough of.

Everything collapsed on him: the constant hunger, the lack of sleep, the maid calling him ‘sir’, the parlor room with afternoon tea. It pressed and pressed on him and finally, Viktor cracked open, brittle as an old bone.

“You know what. Forget this.”

When he spoke, there was no more fire in his words, only resignation.

“Viktor… I–”

“Forget it. Forget everything. This isn’t going to work. It was never going to.”

And Viktor felt like the biggest idiot alive for ever thinking that it would. He turned towards the open door where, outside, the snowstorm had begun to churn in earnest. It was time to go, he thought, long past it. In hindsight, the first thing Viktor should have done when he saw Jayce Talis was run the other way.

“Viktor,” Jayce grabbed his arm, halting him just inches from the door. His eyes were beseeching, face scrunched up in a pained expression.

“Please,” he said, “Please don’t go.”

Viktor stared down at the man’s hand on his forearm.

When, thought Viktor. Just when did Jayce get so comfortable touching him? When did Viktor start letting him? It was all so fucked up and as he shrugged off the touch he had the terrible urge to cry.

“Stop,” he whispered. “Stop trying to fix me, Jayce.”

And something in his expression must have struck true because when he limped away, no one followed.

Chapter Text

The abandoned water tower was a tall rickety thing. A hulking structure that you could always see lingering in the distance no matter where you stood. Its monstrous frame cast long shadows across the slums; they moved with the light, undulating like sharks swimming through shallow waters.

Now, Viktor looked down and found himself on the tower steps once more, feet poised over the rusted metal rungs. His body looked strange from this vantage. Simultaneously older and younger, changing like a coin flip between blinks. Blink. A body of a child, soft-skinned and squat. Blink. An old man with gnarled skin and shaking tremors. When he inhaled, a foul odor filled his nostrils. The unmistakable stink of the Undercity.

Panic filled his lungs. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to be in his dorm in the highest room of the tallest tower of the Academy. He was supposed to be studying. He was supposed to be making something of himself and disproving all those people who told him he was less than nothing.

Up above the rumbles of thunder shook down from the sky.

A mistake, he thought. This has to be a mistake. He didn’t belong down here. Not anymore, and so he grabbed the handrail and began to climb.

The first few steps were easy, his body, in its strange morphing state, was fast and limber. But then the rain started to fall, coating the rungs and turning them into slick traps. Halfway up he nearly toppled clean over but caught himself on the handrail, banging his knees up in the process. It hurt fiercely but Viktor didn’t cry out. He simply wiped the raindrops from his eyes and kept climbing.

Up and up and up he went, except the end never seemed to get closer; the more stairs he took the farther away the top seemed to get. And as he climbed the storm only grew worse, rain pouring heavily and lightning flashing above in violent purple arcs.

Everywhere was darkness. Far too dark, he thought bleakly. In the upper city, the sky was studded with moon and starlight —if not that then the distant light of the skyscrapers, civilization— but here there was nothing. Just black, rust and rain.

The thunder shrieked. The starlight didn’t reach. His foot slipped on the next step and this time he didn’t catch the handrail in time.

Darkness wheeled above him, black and unending as if wrapped entirely by a shroud of death.

A mistake, was the last thought Viktor had before tipping backward and falling.

–

Viktor woke to a sharp crack of lightning which briefly illuminated his dorm room in a ghostly white glow. When it faded, it was pitch black, not a drip of moonlight to be seen. His alarm clock was dead and when he hit the switch by the bedside no lights came on.

The window rattled in the corner, shaking from the strength of the rain. His skin was damp, and clammy from the remnant of a dream, a tower, a fall. Outside another whip of lightning struck the sky and then as if on cue, Viktor’s body buckled.

Agony.

He barely got a hold of his crutch and hobbled into the bathroom in time to throw up into the toilet bowl.

“Fuck–” he gasped, half-strangled, before the contents of his stomach shifted again. He retched miserably into the bowl, eyes watering as everything he had eaten in the last 24 hours left his body. Panic crawled up his throat and expelled itself as a sob.

No… it couldn’t be. It was far too early for–

He threw up again before somehow managing to crawl back to the bed, curling into the sheets and shivering as blaring alarms began to sound in his head.

It couldn't be... it couldn't.

But the fevered flush of his skin and dampness of his pants were the last pieces of evidence to cement the awful truth.

His heat was imminent. Here. Now.

He gagged again, stomach heaving, but this time nothing came out. There was nothing left. His body had successfully flushed out everything in his system and was busily shutting down every facility unrelated to fucking. This was all basic biology that Viktor was familiar with but the knowledge didn’t make the experience of it any less terrifying.

He fumbled for his phone which skittered uselessly on the side table before his fumbling fingers could grab onto it.

Please. Come now.

He managed to type out after several tries before deleting it with a disgusted hiss and throwing the device futilely against the wall.

What the fuck am I doing?

There was no way Jayce was coming for him; Viktor had made sure of that already.

Even now, the hormones were addling to his brain, driving him to crazed behavior. Soon, he thought grimly, the haze of heat would completely overtake him; he wouldn’t be able to form a thought at all unless it was related to getting fucked and knotted.

Knotted. The notion alone sent shivers down his legs. He felt like a rag set aflame, a molotov cocktail arcing through the night.

Empty. Empty. He was so fucking empty.

His hips bore down on nothing sending a gush slick down his thighs and onto the sheets and the need was so great he clawed his fingers into them, smothering a cry into his pillows.

The thunder crescendoed echoing the shrieking alarms inside his head. His senses were heightened now, more that of an animal than a human and it turned his surroundings into chaotic noise —so overwhelming, he couldn’t tell real from fake.

A terrible rattling filled the room. Tap, tap, tap.

Was it rain against the roof? Footsteps of hungry alphas in the hall? Or perhaps it was the grim reaper, knocking on his door to collect Viktor’s soul.

Crack. A streak of lightning flashed white in the window.

The sky was one canvas of black and even up here there were no stars to be seen. Although being seen meant nothing at all. Viktor knew stars were just afterglows of exploding planets a million years in the past; it was dead light from another galaxy that had yet to stop shining.

Tap, tap, tap.

“Please, Viktor… open the door.”

What? Viktor’s eyes shot open as the tapping resumed, but this time it was louder. His thoughts refused to make sense through the fog. What he heard, was it real? Or was it all just a delusion?

“If you don’t open it, I’m breaking it down.”

Two heavy thumps pierced through the veil, clunking like boots against wood, before the sound of splintering filled the air.

Then Viktor’s door blasted wide, revealing Jayce standing on the threshold, eyes bloodshot and completely drenched. He was wearing a slapped-together outfit of joggers and a jacket, soaked so thoroughly it clung to his skin. His hair was similarly plastered to his forehead, a dark wet smear of loose strands.

He was, to Viktor’s dismay, unfairly gorgeous like this -a dazzling mess like shattered glass glinting in the sun- and he whimpered just as a fresh slew of wetness bled from him.

“Viktor,” the alpha’s eyes shot open nostrils flaring. “You’re..” he took a half step back, overwhelmed. “You’re early.”

A brilliant observation, Viktor wanted to snark, but he was too caught up in the chokehold of instinct. Jayce’s alpha pheromones were drifting in the air and he couldn’t stop himself from tipping his head up to inhale it in gasping lungfuls. Pine and smoke. It made something savage unfurl inside him; it made him wet.

He lifted a shaking hand towards the other man. “J-Jayce. I need you.”

“I’m here. I have you.”

No sooner had the word left his mouth before the alpha was right there, leaning over his bedside. Viktor all but crawled up his body, nuzzling into his throat to lick that sweet scent-filled gland at the edge of his jaw. The rain had done nothing to dampen the smell of him, and the scent, musky and virile, was like a drug shot straight to the veins.

He couldn’t stop the moan that tumbled from his lips, nor his hips which rolled once, hard and slow, riding Jayce’s thigh in a wet delicious grind. The thick muscle rubbed at his twitching hole through the fabric of his already-drenched pants and he tossed his head, gasping at the unbearable tease of it all.

“Your smell,” He sighed, hips hitching, “I want it Jayce. I want it inside of me.”

“V-Viktor,'' He said the word as if it pained him. His eyes were flashing, golden like falling coins, and his nostrils flared, reminding Viktor of an animal on the cusp of stampeding. But then he let out a low growl, eyes wrenching shut before gripping Viktor by the shoulders, forcibly holding him a devastating arm’s length away.

“We… We can't do this.”

The words shattered Viktor’s heart. His alpha didn't want him. He was unwanted, empty, and unloved. It swelled within him -a storm ten times worse than the one outside his window- and mortified, he sagged into the alpha’s grip, sniffling as fat drops began to form in the corners of his eyes.

A desperate noise filled the other man’s throat as he gazed at Viktor, pained as if he had shoved a stake through his heart. He palmed Viktor’s face, pressing the tears away with his rough calloused thumbs.

“Oh, Viktor. “ The way Jayce said his name only made him cry even harder. Viktor hated the way he spoke sometimes. With so much care and focus as if Viktor was the only person on the planet.

“Please. Please don’t cry,” he crooned in low tones, ”We just can’t right now… not here. The storm zapped the power lines, Viktor. People are evacuating. We need to leave.”

That’s when Viktor realized the alarms weren’t just in his head. They were very real, blaring through the corridor and if he strained his ears he could just barely hear the sound of footsteps marching down the hall, masked almost completely by the pattering rain.

An emergency evacuation right as his heat had come on. It was the stuff of nightmares and through his distress, he almost had the delusional urge to laugh. Of course, this would happen to him. Only to him.

“Please, Viktor. We need to go.”

“I can’t… I can’t.”

An omega in heat was one that couldn’t bear being public. Already his senses were heightened. Skin tingling, nose too oversensitive. The world outside the bubble of his dorm and his alpha was a terrifying place rife with stench and sound and light. Viktor’s instincts drove him to find isolation, a quiet burrow to nest and fuck in until winter snow turned to spring. And as such the idea of leaving was horrific, sending shards of panic splintering through him.

“Shh… Viktor, It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Jayce’s hand fell heavy on his neck, massaging the strained muscles there. It was then that Viktor realized he had been wheezing, a low distressed noise tearing from his throat.

“I-I can’t go out there, Jayce–”

And then Jayce pressed Viktor into the bed. His hands were gentle and in the dim light, his eyes seemed to change color —hazel, peridot, gold– but what was within them stayed the same. Jayce stared straight at him, hiding nothing from his gaze.

“Everything will be okay, Viktor. Just trust me.”

And he could do nothing but whine helplessly in response because he did, goddamnit, he truly did.

In a flash of movement, Jayce tore off his jacket, throwing it over him, instantly blanketing him in darkness. The wetness of it was unpleasant, but the scent of the alpha surrounded him, calming his nerves and causing his hole to twitch in hunger. In the darkness he felt Jayce shifting, gathering the blankets around him, wrapping him like a parcel. He yelped as thick arms slid under him, bracketing his spine and the backs of his knees. Then the world jolted as Viktor was lifted from the bed.

“What–” he struggled, alarm tearing through him. He still couldn’t see anything behind the man’s jacket and the impenetrable wall of blankets but he could tell that they were moving. His instincts screamed in protest and his muscles went rigid in rebellion. It was against everything in his nature to leave when the only thing he wanted was to be pinned in place and ruthlessly fucked for days.

“J-Jayce,” he cried, panicked.

“Almost there,” his voice was muffled through the blankets, felt more than heard through the reverberations in his chest. “You’re doing so well for me, Viktor. So perfect.”

Viktor froze as the words caused something inside him to melt. Perfect. It glowed within him and suddenly, he would do anything to hear the man say it again.

He quieted in Jayce’s arm, shifting attention to his surroundings, or at least as much of them as he could sense within his dark bubble.

Viktor could tell they were somewhere in the common areas because now the alarms were louder and all at once there were too many smells. The sour smell of fear. The acrid scent of panic. The smell of other omegas, sickly sweet like rotten fruit, the neutral scent of betas, and the tempting musk of other alphas. But all of it was overpowered by the scent of Jayce’s jacket that Viktor kept clutched to his face. Pine and smoke. He sighed pushing himself deeper into the other man’s grip, toes curling and mouth filling with saliva.

Jayce moved briskly, turning left then right and periodically barking at people to ‘move’ and ‘get out of the way,’ but then Viktor was jolted as his movement came to a sudden halt.

“Hey, watch it!”

The voice was familiar albeit muffled through the blankets.

“Finn,” When Jayce spoke the words were halting and rough as if speaking through a mouthful of jagged splinters.

“Back. Off. Now.”

“What’s in your… wait. Is that–Viktor?”

A deep growl rumbled from Jayce's chest. An alpha’s growl, devastatingly deep; it rippled through him like a pebble skipping across the still surface of a lake. Squirming, Viktor had to bite into Jayce’s jacket to keep from making a needy sound.

“Don’t come any closer.”

“No way. It is, isn’t it? He–oh… oh fuck, he reeks.”

Jayce clutched him tighter. “Finn,” he growled. “You have three seconds to back away or I'll break every bone in your body.”

Viktor shivered. He had never heard Jayce like this before. Dangerous. Menacing. Violent. It was completely different from the man he thought he knew and something within him thrilled at the dominant display.

The other alpha must have complied because soon they were moving again. Now, the thunder was louder. He felt wetness against the blanket but this time it wasn’t his own. The rain soaked through him, filling his bones with an icy cold.

A loud crack rang through the night and Viktor yelped, ears over-sensitive and too on edge to do anything other than cower.

“Jayce,” he cried weakly, unsure of what he wanted the man to do except that he wanted it all to stop. The blanket stuck to him, too wet and too cold against his fever-hot skin. Too many smells clung to his nose. Too many people, too many eyes.

Panic clawed at his edges, unraveling him like thread and he blinked, disoriented by the colorful spots dancing on the edges of his vision.

His consciousness was slipping and as he clung onto the alpha’s jacket the last thing he was aware of was the other man’s arms tightening around him and a distant voice calling and calling his name.

–

“Viktor.”

“Viktor…”

“Viktor.”

When Viktor came to, he was being undressed on top of an unfamiliar bed. From the corner of his eye, there was a window that made a loud clattering noise, the rain which had been coming down in buckets had turned into an icy slew of hail. Stuck in a fog, Viktor watched the ice bounce off the window pane, breath wheezing out of him, strained and shallow.

His clothing was completely soaked through and when his shirt was pulled over his head it clung to him, pinching and sliding unpleasantly over his skin.

“Come on, Viktor. Arms up.”

Jayce was a towering shadow above him, dimly backlit by the live fire roaring behind him, and when his hands dragged up on the ends of his shirt, it bunch painfully under his arms pulling them like useless puppet limbs.

When Jayce tugged the shirt again it was too much for him to bear; his body was over-sensitive and raw, pulsing like a live organ, and the motion drew a half-startled sob from his lips.

The man instantly released his grip, hands flying up to his face in concern,

“What is it? Are you okay?”

“Y-You’re hurting me,” Viktor whimpered, but soon regretted it. Because then Jayce’s fingers froze on his jaw, his face palling with horror that hurt a million times worse than the shirt. Viktor couldn’t stop the quiet sobs that wracked his chest; it cut too deeply to see his alpha so upset.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Jayce cradled him close; he too was shirtless and Viktor melted into him, a mess of tears and hiccups encased in a wall of alpha muscle. Chin tucked over Jayce’s shoulder, his hazy surroundings finally focused into familiar clarity.

Aside from the tools that had been packed away and the fire roaring in the previously unused mantle, the guest house had not changed from when he’d last seen it. He stared at it and it stared back, a silent exchange of expectations.

Jayce pulled back, eyes flickering from Viktor to where he was still staring deeply into the fire. There was an undercurrent of shame in his words when he spoke.

“I know you hate it here–” he wavered, gaze dropping to the floor, “but I… I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go.”

Except Viktor didn’t hate it. He didn’t hate it at all.

The squat room lit by the crackling fire felt cramped but cozy. The bed was warm beneath him, solid and dry. But the most noticeable thing was the smell.

The place smelled of Jayce.

The scent was everywhere… suffused into the wood grain floor, hidden in the cracks between the furniture, threaded through the bed sheets. It wrapped around Viktor like a lover’s embrace and when he inhaled, the place didn’t feel like the cage he once thought it; very much the opposite, it felt like coming home.

The feeling swelled within him, turning his thoughts to smoke and causing a fine shiver to break out across his skin.

“Viktor, your clothes…” tutted Jayce in concern, mistaking his reaction for one of cold, “We need to take them off, or else you’ll catch something.”

His words drew Viktor’s attention to his own body and suddenly his world was shifted.

Now that he was out of peril, the next most pressing need came thundering to attention. The invisible flames that seemed to lick across his skin. The tender aching peaks of his erect nipples. And worst of all, that horrible emptiness that yawned inside him, begging to be filled.

He succumbed to the sensation, shuddering with it and although he was already drenched, still, he felt something wet dripping between his thighs.

“Jayce,” he croaked, suddenly burning and desperate.

“I have you,” Jayce soothed, mistaking his tremors for a different type of distress. “I’m going to take your pants off now okay? Just bear with me and it’ll be over soon.”

Viktor couldn’t speak, only nodded. His shaking hands were useless when it came to unfastening the ties of his pants and so Jayce undid the strings patiently, turning him on his belly to tug the wet fabric down under the curve of his ass. The man’s fingers only brushed him briefly, but still, the motion sent seismic shivers through him and Viktor nearly bit through his lip as his hot erection strained against the bedsheets and a gush of liquid sluiced down his leg.

He felt Jayce freeze behind him.

No, no, no, he thought, except his instincts seemed to be screaming the opposite. Back and forth he swung, a pendulum wavering endlessly between fear and anticipation for what came next.

The air was cool against his bare cheeks and Viktor couldn’t help but moan when the man hesitated before dipping his fingers ever so slowly into the seam. Jayce was breathing harder now, huffing labored breaths as if something heavy was sitting on his chest.

“Fuck,” He groaned when he brushed a finger against his hole. “Viktor, you’re dripping.”

As if on command, Viktor felt his rim twitch under the touch, letting out a fresh slew of wetness and contracting to suck at the pad of the alpha’s finger.

“Fuck. Oh —fuck,” Jayce whined. His eyes were black with hunger, two gaping voids, and his now familiar scent was threaded with a sharp edge of desperation.

The burning was worse now, melting down Viktor’s spine, and causing waves of shivers to roll down his back. He shifted, hoping for respite, but only pushed further into the alpha’s touch. The movement just barely caused the tip of his finger to breach and both men shuddered with the torturous aftershocks.

Then the alpha pulled him up by the shoulder blade, sudden and urgent.

“Viktor is this…” his voice was strange, devolving nearly into growls, “please tell me you still want this. Fuck. Please.”

Viktor wanted to curse. It was infuriating that he was asking him this when the answer could not be more obvious.

“Yes,” he sighed, more of a breath than a sound, and then with renewed vigor, “Yes. Yes.”

The man didn’t move at first, jaw clicking as if still processing. Then his gaze darkened, unleashed.

The sound of his belt hitting the floor was deafening, and Viktor looked up almost fearful of what he might find.

“Viktor,” Jayce growled, “You’re still shivering.”

It wasn’t because he was cold.

Glances of the past came swimming to the surface, previously innocuous, now shimmering in a haze of burning desire. The way Jayce’s clothes had clung to him when he jogged through the quad. The bare slip of his hip when he stretched.

All of it was a mere hint of a suggestion. But in the end, it was nothing compared to this. Nothing compared to the broad wall of Jayce’s chest, dusky, tan, and muscled. The vivid swells of his pecs which tapered down his long torso into a slim tight waist.

Now, Viktor could see a faint trail of hair under the man’s belly. Down, down it led until there, nestled delicately amongst a pile of curls was the prize of Jayce’s cock.

It stood hard at attention, thick and periodically pulsing with blood, and Viktor nearly cried when he saw the single bead of precome quivering at the tip. One perfect glistening jewel.

Suddenly, he was ravenous, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. He wanted to lap that bead up with his tongue, mouthing at the tip and all around it before following the shaft down to its sensitive base, the area where Jayce’s knot would swell when he finally–

“Come here,” Viktor whispered, scared witless by his desires. “Hurry, Jayce. Now.”

“Viktor,” Jayce groaned, hand wrapped around his twitching cock, squeezing at the base as if he was scared of finishing right then and there.

“I swear, you’re killing me.”

A blur of motion and then Viktor was being flipped. Jayce shifted his limbs, arranging him so he was on his hands and knees but keeping a hand fastened on his hip to prevent too much pressure on the weak side.

Finally, the man was draped against his back, his hard chest against his shoulder blades, and even harder erection pressing between his cheeks.

“God, I wish you could see yourself like this. Gorgeous. So gorgeous.”

Viktor shuddered.

Only now was it apparent what position he was in: face planted into the pillows, knees, and feet skidding in the sheets. It was a textbook mounting position, one he’d seen diagramed many times in biology manuals and health pamphlets. Except this didn’t at all match the soullessness of those anatomical descriptions. This felt decidedly more filthy. A raised offering, exposing everything to the other man and causing another fresh wave of slick to cascade down the center.

“Help me,” he wheezed; hips canted, head lowered, the position seemed to make the emptiness all the more devastatingly prominent.

“Inside, Jayce. Please, it hurts.”

He heard Jayce make a choked noise behind him, rough hands roaming down his back, stopping briefly at the dimples of his hips, before landing on his cheeks and spreading.

He didn’t realize he was chanting “please, please, please” until Jayce slid two fingers inside of him, speaking to him, low and coaxing.

“Soon, sweetheart. Soon.”

He plunged his fingers all the way past the second knuckle and Viktor’s insides clamped down, overjoyed at finally (finally) being filled. Jayce's fingers were long, much longer than his own, and they curved into his inner walls, scraping every sensitive spot along the way.

“F-fuck, Viktor,” the alpha’s voice was wrecked, “you’re practically sucking me in. Do you feel that?”

And Viktor didn’t even have the sense to feel embarrassed. He was swept away by the merciless tide, and vaguely as if from a great distance, he heard himself answering,

“Y-Yes, yes—more, Jayce. More.”

He was barely acclimatized when he felt Jayce spread his cheeks wider. Then soon, another finger joined the others followed by the sensation of a wet tongue swiping across the rim.

Viktor screamed.

“God, the taste of you,” the other man sighed, “I could eat you forever and it still wouldn’t be enough.”

Viktor cried harder, hips tilting back and spine arching in a whorish display. He was so ashamed and yet it didn’t stop him from holding himself open wider, pushing back harder. It was the sweetest pleasure he had ever felt and yet it still wasn’t enough. Not even close.

He wanted to be penetrated so deeply he’d feel it knocking against the back of his throat. He wanted to be crushed and squeezed and for the man to leave bruises on that deep unreachable place inside of him.

Jayce spread his fingers, digits catching deliciously at the rim, a sweet yet cruel imitation of what it would feel like when his knot would lock them together. It made Viktor salivate. He wanted it fiercely and would eviscerate any obstacle in his way.

“N-Now. Jayce. Do it now.”

“Patience, sweetheart. I have to prepare you, otherwise, it’ll hurt–”

But Viktor wanted it to hurt; he wanted to be ripped apart at the seams. He was nothing but wanting and it made him furious to be denied by the only person who could provide it.

“Fuck the preparation!” he screeched, hands scrabbling into sheets. “I swear to god if you don’t fuck me right now I’m leaving…I promise Jayce, I’ll walk out that door and you’ll never–”

Darkness.

A hand clamped onto his neck, shoving his head into the pillows. It forced his hips to present and he felt something blunt press against his entrance, too thick to be fingers.

“Don’t.”

The alpha’s voice was hardly recognizable. More of a guttural roar than a spoken word.

“If you tried, I would catch you.” The man shifted against him, rubbing his tip teasingly over his crease, powerful thighs bunching.

“I wouldn’t lose in a chase.”

It was the same voice he’d used on Finn in the dorm halls, one of cool domination that culled Viktor like wheat under a sickle blade. A fresh line of slick dripped down his thigh at the tone, causing a sharp intake of breath from behind.

“Or maybe that’s what you want…to be hunted like prey.”

Viktor moaned at the thought, an ancient primordial desire coursing through his blood.

This is how it would have been between their ancestors: a barefoot pursuit under a cloudless full moon, a cornering attack, climaxed by the savage claiming of victory spoils. It was encoded in his genes –the adrenaline of the game, the thrill of the fight– and even though society had progressed since then, instincts had not followed. For it was instinct that now made him wet between the legs, mouth parting in slick pants and hips tilting, waiting in desperate anticipation for that fatal finishing strike.

“Oh Viktor,” the other man strained, “I wanted to be gentle, I wanted to–”

Enough, thought Viktor. He shifted back, once and hard, causing the tip to finally breach.

Jayce was right. He wasn’t prepared enough. It felt like being flayed down the center.

“Jayce,” he wailed, just as the other man let out a gut-wrenching roar behind him.

Pain, pleasure. It was impossible to disentangle one from the other. The sensation was so much, an explosion of white light so bright and sharp Viktor thought he might die waiting for it to stop.

Except it didn’t stop.

It kept going and going, which was precisely when it dawned on Viktor that the other man was still moving, still pumping inward; Jayce was so large he had yet to bottom out completely.

“Viktor,” he groaned. “Almost there.”

Almost?

Suddenly, Viktor was terrified.

“Wait–” he gasped, panicked, “it’s too–”

But Jayce didn’t let him finish. He simply clamped his fingers onto his hips and said, “All of it, sweetheart.”

Before plunging to the hilt in one brutal motion.

It punched straight through him, robbing Viktor of breath. There was no room for air, no room for thought. Everything was pushed away to accommodate the sheer size of the other man, the girth that stretched and stretched his walls until he thought he might disintegrate into nothing.

“Deep…” Viktor gasped, “t-too deep.”

“Perfect,” growled Jayce behind him, his chest flush against Viktor's back. “You took it so perfectly. So stretched and full.”

He placed his hand on Viktor’s belly, pressing down on the sensitive pelvis –pressing down on himself– and the sensation of fullness sent Viktor’s cock drooling between his legs dripping onto the sheets in glistening tide pools.

The alpha’s words were rumbling, a barely maintained restraint as if it took everything to not move.

“Viktor… it’s so tight, it’s—how is it so tight?”

Viktor wasn’t sure. He just knew he would die if they stayed like this. He huffed shakily, stuffed so full he wasn’t sure he could speak.

“A-are you adjusted yet? Viktor, say something. Please.”

Except talking was a riddle Viktor had yet to solve. He could barely take a breath let alone form words and it felt impossible to utter anything without devolving into bitten-off whines.

Suddenly, Jayce’s fingers were right there, cupping his jaw and slipping against his panting lips.

“How about this,” he grunted, “if it becomes too much then bite down on my finger.”

He slid two fingers into Viktor’s mouth, pressing down on his palate with just enough pressure to make him gag.

“Try it now,” he coaxed, stroking Viktor's tongue affectionately like a cat.

“Hard sweetheart. Okay? Otherwise, I might not stop…”

It was impossible to miss the low heat simmering in the words and Viktor moaned around the man’s finger, shifting into the point of connection where he was dripping against the hilt.

Jayce let out a low growl, but retreated, halting Viktor’s ministrations with a hand to the lower back.

“Bite down, Viktor,” he hissed, “Practice first. I need to know if you can do it… I need to know you can stop me.”

And Viktor grunted in frustration because it was obvious there was no stopping this. Nothing could stop this. He would get what he wanted or he would burn the world down trying. But even so, he took the pad of his finger between his teeth and bit down with as much strength he could summon.

“That’s it, darling. Harder.”

It was torture. Tears formed as Viktor clamped down again, and then without warning, a rush of blood filled his mouth. The iron taste coated his tongue sending molten flames down his spine. Jayce trembled behind him, cock twitching where it was buried deep inside.

“There you are,” he sighed raggedly. “That’s my, Viktor.”

It felt like something was unfurling in his chest, blooming like wildflowers in spring.

The words were mired in pain-tinted pleasure and a quaking shudder rolled through him at the sound.

Now, Jayce’s hand was a bruising vice on his hip. It shifted him into an angle that made him keen around the fingers that had yet to stop bleeding on his tongue.

“Viktor,” said the alpha. “I’m going to fuck you now.”

Then, slowly, finally, perfectly, Jayce slid out an inch before punching himself back in. Hard.

Viktor bucked. His screams were choked around Jayce’s fingers, still dripping with saliva and blood. And then before he could prepare, Jayce slid out completely before driving back in, rearranging his insides in one devastating slide.

Oh.

It was… it was—

“Perfect,” whispered Jayce into the nape of his neck.

His voice was absolutely wrecked, broken open, and hoarse with desire. It sent a bright flash of joy cutting through the haze of heat and fire.

Me, thought Viktor, I did that.

It soared within him, riding rising currents, the glowing pride that he had fucked Jayce so completely to ruin.

Me, he thought again, this time with a vicious edge, Mine.

The thought was so consuming that it only took a few more thrusts for Viktor’s insides to clench and his walls to squeeze down.

He thrashed, bucking wildly and causing Jayce’s fingers to slip free with a wet ‘pop’.

“Jayce,” he wailed, tongue unbridled. “Jayce, it’s coming.”

He used his freed hand to wrap around Viktor’s quivering cock, moving the rough pad back and forth mercilessly over the sensitive tip.

“Yes,” he sighed into the side of Viktor's neck.

“Let go, darling. I want to see it.”

Then he felt it. A ghost of lips against his neck, a light nip just the barest suggestion of a kiss. Jayce thrusted forward, pressing into that vicious throbbing spot, grinding it in, and then it was over.

His inside tightened, corkscrewing down on the other man with a pressure that had him hissing and groaning into his back. His warm seed spilled into Jayce’s hand, thick rivulets running down his fingers and onto the already-soaked sheets.

“Fuck, Viktor,” he croaked, “what are you doing to me.”

But Viktor was too far away to respond. Already his vision was flickering in and out, his body temporarily sated and shutting down in preparation for the next bout of heat.

As such, he was nearly unconscious when it started.

It was a slow buildup, a gradual gathering of pressure not dissimilar to being unable to relieve himself after drinking too much water. Except it kept growing and growing. A widening inflation at the point of connection.

“Jayce,” he cried, tears forming at the painful stretch.

“Shh,” the alpha groaned, words garbled behind his teeth, “Be still, Viktor. Be still.”

It was impossible to disobey the voice he used. Viktor froze under the alpha’s hands. Unable to do anything except weep as the brutal stretch of Jayce’s knot locked them together.

The alpha was snarling into his back now, all animal and instinct. He shifted his hips as if trying to plow deeper and when he did, the knot caught painfully against his rim, causing Viktor to screech out in blind panic.

But it had only just begun.

The flood started and it wouldn't stop. Jayce’s seed pulsed through him, painting his insides in a hot splatter, surging and surging until Viktor was sure he would burst.

“I can’t…” he wept, “it’s t-too much.”

Except behind the pain and the fear, there was pleasure too. A bone-deep warmth spread through him as his walls locked around Jayce’s pulsing knot, a tight embrace welcoming it home.

Jayce was a shivering barrier of muscle behind him, grunting and sweeping his hands over him as if trying to cover every inch of Viktor's skin with his scent.

“Viktor, do you feel it? You were made for this. For me.”

His hips jolted, jarring another cry from Viktor as a spurt of come squeezed free from his entrance and dripped carelessly down his thigh. Down, downward it trickled, sliding sloppily down his center but before it could fall, he felt the man shift to catch it, scooping it up with his fingertips.

“There you go,” he sighed, reaching around to slide the pearly seed across Viktor’s lips. “Not a drop wasted.”

And crying, Viktor licked it from his fingers because he was right, it was a waste.

A waste not to take what was rightfully his.

The knot in his rim, the fullness in his belly. All of it belonged to him now, and he swallowed it down, already growing hungry for more.

Chapter Text

Heat made time pass strangely, bending it like warmed metal in the forge. A knot took an hour to subside, sometimes two, and yet every time it passed Viktor felt like it had ended too quickly. He would panic, feeling as if the come that dribbled sloppily out of his unstoppered hole was his life blood dripping from a fatal wound. During these moments, time seemed to stretch and balloon. The effect was like experiencing his own death in slow motion and Viktor could do nothing but shudder and whine for the alpha to fill him once more.

Jayce, however, never took long to comply. He plugged the omega nearly constantly through the long hours of the night even as Viktor slipped in and out of consciousness until he couldn’t distinguish waking from dreaming. Sometimes he woke on his front, crushed beneath a hard chest and being pummeled deep into the blankets. Other times he was on his back or his side, nose buried into the alpha’s neck as the man grunted and fed his cock patiently into him.

Only one time could he recall being empty.

He had woken on his back, head encased in pillows as he felt the other man shift between his legs, moving a wet rag through the dripping mess covering his thighs and belly.

“No,” he had moaned, clenching around the emptiness, “no, no…”

Writhing in misery, he had nearly kicked the man in the stomach with his thrashing. His moaning turned to cries, then into wild screeches of anger.

“Why, Jayce… why–” he sobbed, distressed. Had he not pleased the other man? Had he not done well? Viktor could only shiver and whimper pitifully, unable to comprehend why the alpha would submit him to a punishment so cruel.

He had whined and cried for what felt like hours until Jayce dropped the rag in defeat, shushing him with feathered touches and murmured reassurances into the skin of his neck. In the end, Viktor didn’t fully stop crying until the alpha finally plugged him with his fingers, settling between his come-stained thighs and mouthing at his cock until he trembled and made even more of a mess of himself than before.

The relief that followed was always too fleeting. Even as his eyes fluttered shut, the heat in his body stirred, hinting at its potent return. When he slept, it was never for long, and when he woke, he never felt rested.

This time, as he blinked into consciousness he found himself on his side, a wall of alpha heat plastered to his back.

An arm was thrown over his shoulder, a heavy but pleasant weight while the other was pillowed under his head, ebbing with the man’s breath, slow and drowsy like morning tide. A noise escaped from Viktor’s lips when he shifted and realized that they were still connected, the other man still twitching inside him, soft and sleepy.

The pull of his heat clamored instantly at the sensation causing goosebumps to break out across his skin. Except that earlier, it had been with the strength of a maelstrom, crashing down on him in mile-high tidal swells, whereas now it was more like lapping waves against the shore, a gentle rhythm of pulsing warmth.

Viktor shifted again and this time Jayce slipped free.

Instantly, he felt the mess of their coupling spill against his thighs and the alpha stirred behind him, making a rough husky noise that felt like it was stabbing him through the heart.

“Jayce,” he strained, hoarse. “Are you awake?”

The man muttered but didn’t answer, only shifting to pull him closer by the waist, causing a fresh wave of agonizing hunger to bleed through him.

“Jayce,” he said again and this time the other man finally twitched behind him.

“Hng?” he made a soft rumpled noise, fingers clenching instinctively on his hips before relaxing.

“Mmph—yeah, I’m here,” he finally replied, voice still rough with sleep, “Are you…do you need—?”

And then he pulled Viktor flush against him so that the curve of his buttocks rested against the slowly hardening ridge of his cock.

Oh god. Viktor shuddered, instantly subsumed with a terrible ache. He was no better than the pavlovian dog; unable to control the shudder of need that jolted through him nor the trickle of wetness that leaked between his legs. But the sun streaming through the window felt too harsh, too bright. It stung his eyes as he blinked, making him feel strangely exposed.

“What–” he croaked out, ignoring the shaking rattle of his heart, “what time is it?”

Jayce froze behind him. It felt like a long time before he finally came up onto his forearms, bending over to gaze hesitantly upon Viktor’s face.

It was hard to look at him like this. With the sun splaying over him in shattered fragments and the rough peaks of his hair which spoke of hungry fingers carding through the locks. Most damning of all were the scratches and bruises that littered his chest and shoulders. The man looked wrecked. And Viktor realized with a shudder that if he were to examine his own nails he might find hints of the alpha’s blood lining the tips.

An animal, he thought to himself with disgust, I am an animal.

And the worst part was that he did not even feel sorry for it. Rather something inside him was purring with delight, savagely thrilled at having left his marks so plainly for the world to see.

“Viktor,” said the other man with concern, as if sensing his internal struggle, “Are you… do you feel–”

“The time?” Viktor interrupted.

He didn’t feel like answering the man’s questions; he didn’t feel like existing… It was, for the moment, too daunting of a task.

“It’s noon,” said Jayce, tone soft as if speaking to a frightened animal. “You… you didn’t sleep much last night.

Obviously, thought Viktor with annoyance. The dried mess along his belly and thighs was proof enough of that.

The next question was one he almost didn’t dare to ask but forced himself to anyway.

“And the day?”

Jayce swallowed once, eyes never leaving him when he finally answered, “Wednesday.”

Viktor exhaled. Wednesday.

The last time he had been properly conscious was Monday which meant that he had lost nearly three days to the haze. Three days. He felt even less than a shell, just an echo of a ghost and suddenly he was so dizzy, he would have tipped over if Jayce didn’t have his hands fastened on his shoulders.

“I… did we eat?”

“You had some of a banana at eight. And a handful of nuts sometime before that. I, um. I made sure you drank water every hour, or at least, when you weren’t sleeping, that is.”

He couldn’t bring himself to look directly at the man’s face. Instead, Viktor let his eyes roam around the room, and for the first time, he noticed the mini-fridge in the corner, the water dispenser near the bathroom, and on the shelf, alarmingly, was an opened first aid kit.

“Was I… did someone get hurt?”

Jayce shook his head, sweeping his hands down Viktor’s side in some instinctual response to his distress.

“Your temperature was just getting a bit high. Wanted to make sure it wasn’t a fever.”

Viktor decided then that he couldn’t bear it. Not even for a second longer.

It felt like the weight of the world was pressing against him, crushing him and squeezing painfully at his heart. It was obvious now that his heat had done something to him… changed him irrevocably because suddenly he felt brand new. His feelings were not his own, unable to be controlled as they swelled and beat against his skull. His breath rattled, his limbs shook and through it all, waves of desperate anguish rolled over him as he trembled thinking, oh someone help me, please.

Suddenly the wetness between his legs was unbearable. He could feel the fog of heat tugging at his consciousness again, pulling him under and whispering to him in sweet dulcet tones. His insides were aching, spasming with pent-up tension and this time there was nothing left to fight it; his resolve had long since withered away to dust.

“Jayce–” he rasped helplessly, “do you… can we–”

But the man was already moving. He sat up against the headboard and wordlessly pulled Viktor over him, arranging his limbs so Viktor sat snugly in his lap, arms wrapped around his shoulder and legs dangling over the tops of the alpha’s thighs.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he murmured into his neck, “I’ve got you.”

In this position, Viktor’s aching erection rubbed devastatingly over the hard ridges of Jayce’s washboard abs. Unable to stop but unwilling to watch, he closed his eyes and rutted shamefully against him, groaning when his tip glided and then caught against the muscled hills.

“Viktor,” the alpha gasped, fingers tightening on his waist, “Oh god. You look–”

But Viktor didn’t let him finish.

“Fuck me, Jayce,” he said instead, solemn and commanding. He didn’t want to hear it, whatever the alpha had to say. Viktor knew now that it would only destroy him.

The alpha made a strangled noise but complied, sliding his rough hands down Viktor’s back and leaving shivering skin in their wake. The only benefit of heat was that Viktor was already stretched, so loose and wet that it didn’t take any preparation at all for Jayce to lift him gently by the hips and sheathe himself completely inside.

Fuck, thought Viktor. It didn’t make any sense.

For hours, they had been doing this. It shouldn’t have felt any different. So then why, Viktor anguished silently. Why did it still feel like this? As if it was breaking Viktor apart, shattering him completely just as it had every time before.

In this position, chest to chest, there was less mobility, but for some reason, every movement felt magnified. Jayce’s cock seemed to scrape bruisingly hard against his walls, catching at every sensitive divot and causing his spine to bow and his neck to arch.

It seemed to be more sensitive for the alpha as well, judging from the way he was squeezing his eyes shut, teeth gritting together and jaw clenching as if crushed by some invisible pressure from above. When he opened his eyes they were glazed, slit open like a creature of the dark being exposed to the light.

“Viktor…” he gasped, “inside, it’s so hot… like it’s burning. Like I’m melting—“

Suddenly, as if he had worked himself up too much with his own words, the alpha’s hips clenched upward, pummeling his insides. Viktor’s mouth fluttered open, screaming in silence; he felt like an overfilled cup with liquid sloshing over the edge, and as he fell into Jayce’s chest he could do nothing but whimper and wail, overtaken by feeling. As Jayce moved, his words seemed to flow faster, leaking from his lips like sticky sweet sap from honeysuckle stems.

“Oh god,” he gasped, “I knew it’d be good, it had to be. It had to… but –fuck, I wasn’t expecting it to… oh god, it feels like I’m–”

Suddenly, his grip became bruising on Viktor’s hips, clenching and pulling so that he had no choice but to sit back on him, so jarring and hard that for a brief moment he saw stars.

“Viktor,” he continued, voice fracturing, “What have you done to me…I can’t stop–I…I feel like I might die. Like this. Inside you. I want to–”

No. Not this.

Something welled up within Viktor and when he shut his eyes they were wet with tears.

“Fuck.”

Jayce slowed his thrusts immediately, hands flying up to cup his face and forcing him to meet his gaze.

“Oh, sweetheart… is it—are you hurt? What is it? What’s wrong?”

Everything, Viktor wanted to scream. Every goddamn thing.

Suddenly, he wanted to fight. He wanted to tear out Jayce’s hair, to kick him and scratch him until there was nothing left but bloody scraps. It was so brutish, so crude. But what was even more twisted was that he wanted Jayce to take it: to fuck him through the violence until he was shaking with his orgasm and then hold him through the aftershocks, whispering sweetly while petting his hair. He wanted to kill him. He wanted to kiss him. But most of all, he wanted to fall into his arms forever and the realization was so awful it only made Viktor cry harder.

“I hate you,” he whispered, “I hate you so much.”

He hated Jayce for the way he fit inside of him –so perfectly it made him see galaxies when he moved his hips. He hated how large the alpha was, encasing him so completely that it felt like nothing would ever hurt him again. But most of all, he hated the way Jayce made him feel: like he was safe and cherished, like he could do anything and have everything he ever wanted, like he had never known fear.

All his life, Viktor had been ruled by fear. It was what helped him claw his way out of the Undercity, what kept him moving when he was hungry and made him stay awake when all he had wanted was to sleep forever. But when he was with Jayce, there was no room for fear. He was too large, taking up all the space in Viktor’s world, and then stretching its boundaries so that it was far bigger than it had started. And for this reason, he cried, because that was the most terrifying thought of all. The thought of: who would Viktor be if he wasn’t afraid?

“Oh, Viktor…”

Only Jayce would say his name so sweetly after hearing him confess his hatred. Something in the man seemed to sense his turmoil, because his eyes turned liquid, wobbling puddles that melted his thoughts to goo as he pulled Viktor closer and shifted his hips so that he felt him deeper than ever.

“Jayce…” he cried wetly, “Jayce, Jayce–”

He could feel every minute shift of the alpha inside him, visceral and gut-wrenching as if he was being sawed in half. Jayce, it seemed, felt the difference too, for now, he made a wild noise into his shoulder clenching and hissing, deep voice crystallizing into frozen sugar.

“Viktor,” he snarled, “I… I can’t, I’m going to–”

Jayce surged once, drilling up into him and grinding into that deep terrible place. Suddenly there was too much heat and Viktor screamed as it coated his insides filling him with molten fire. Barely balanced on knife's edge, it was impossible not to follow after him. Viktor arched his back, spraying uselessly against the alpha’s belly, hands fisted into the headboard in a silent prayer. Not this… not now. But already he could feel the knot swelling, bulging inside him until it stretched brutally at his rim, pulling like a rubber band near to snapping.

The knot had locked inside him, pushing devastatingly against his walls and angled directly against that soft tender spot that made him hiss and see stars.

Viktor hadn’t known that he could feel such pleasure. He hadn’t known he was capable. It was a stomach-turning feeling as if just realizing the home he had lived in all his life was only a single room of an entire palace, previously unexplored.

A fresh spike of misery tore through him at the thought. Once again, Jayce had made his world wider, shining light where there had only been dark and opening a path when Viktor had long resigned himself to being lost forever.

No more, he thought helplessly, please no more.

There was too much newness inside of him and Viktor didn’t know how to be this person he was becoming. Jayce had shown him that his world could be bigger, grander, except…

Except it was all only temporary.

Like a bomb that disintegrated on impact, Viktor alone would remain to deal with the consequences. Perhaps, Jayce had made his world larger, brighter, but it was just a curse in disguise; for once he left, Viktor knew everything would seem small and dim by comparison.

—

When Viktor opened his eyes, the ever-present cloud of heat had dissipated leaving behind a bone-deep tiredness in its wake. The light from the window was murky, shining weakly through the heavy fabric of clouds cloaking the sky and it was only after blinking a few times that Jayce’s slumbering face came clearly into view, materializing slowly from shadow to form.

Nearly nose to nose, Viktor could see everything from the fluttering of the man’s eyelashes, still lowered in sleep, all the way down to the individual hairs of his stubble, now dark and harsh against his jaw.

It triggered something within him. A trace of a memory. Viktor knew exactly what that stubble felt like scraping against the soft underside of his thighs and it was entirely possible that he still had the burn marks to prove it.

I’ve gone crazy, he thought solemnly, batshit fucking–

“Viktor.”

Jayce’s eyes slit open, somewhat hazy as if remembering a dream and when he spoke, his voice still bore the remnant husk of sleep. “Are… are you okay? Do you need–”

“No,” said Viktor, “It’s over. I’m done.”

The words caught strangely in his throat like a wounded bird falling to earth; as if a part of him had died and he was still standing amidst the ashes.

“Oh.”

Jayce raised himself into sitting, mouth opening as if to continue but never actually speaking. Viktor too remained silent, for suddenly he could think of nothing to say.

Absently, He picked at an unraveled end of the sheet. It was soft as liquid, higher thread count than anything he had ever felt, and somewhere in the distance, a clock chimed three times, a lonely ghost-like sound.

The ensuing silence was oppressive. Far worse than Viktor had imagined it’d be. Better to get it over with then, he thought just as Jayce opened his mouth to finally say,

“Viktor… I–”

“Thank you, Jayce.”

Jayce seemed to visibly deflate, a sail robbed completely of its wind. “I–er… what?”

“You’ve gone through a lot of trouble to help me. And I… well, I would have been screwed if you hadn’t shown up.” The words were scissor sharp, clawing out of his throat.

“You came for me when you didn’t have to. You looked after me even after I did nothing but insult you, and then you… and then after all that you still upheld your word and for that, I’m… for that I’ll always be grateful.”

“Grateful.” Jayce repeated, dull and lifeless.

“I don’t have… a lot right now,” continued Viktor, feeling as if he was prying his own teeth loose, “and I’m… I’m not sure if I can repay you for all of this, but I–”

“Are you being fucking serious right now.”

“I–” Viktor’s mouth fluttered, momentarily surprised by the look of hardness that had crept into the other man’s gaze.

“I wouldn’t joke about this,” he finally replied, swallowing around shards of glass.

“Are you sure? Because right now, it feels like I’m the punchline of one.”

Viktor was taken aback by the expression in Jayce’s eyes. It was a dark cold fury, icy like the dead of winter.

“Viktor, I just…” he wavered, voice hitching, “After all of this… After everything, the first thing on your mind is repayment?”

“I don’t–” Viktor broke off, feeling as if something sharp had skewered him through the center, “I don’t have anything else, I don’t know what you want me to do Jayce, I–”

“Anything, Viktor. Anything,” the alpha’s voice was shaking now, “I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, and I accept that. I really do… but Viktor, you have to give me something. I can’t go on like this, just hoping and waiting while you wall yourself away brick by brick–”

“There’s nothing else I can do!” Viktor was yelling now, voice shaking with some unspeakable emotion, “I don’t know what you think you’re seeing but it’s not there Jayce. It’s not… and I don’t know what else you want from me–”

“I want you, you stupid idiot!” Jayce roared, “Every day. All the time. So much that it fucking terrifies me… And you wanna know what else? You wanna know what I think?”

“No,” breathed Viktor, heart beating too painfully fast, “Stop it… stop–”

“I think you want me too,” he said, eyes blazing. “That’s what I think.”

Viktor’s fists were shaking at his sides, some terrible feeling whistling through him, gusting like tundra winds through the highest mountain peaks.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” asked Jayce, desperation threading his tone, “Tell me I’m right, Viktor. Say that you see it too.”

Jayce’s eyes were brilliant flames, glowing from within and so bright it was hard to look at. A light like that would only ruin him, thought Viktor. It would only make it all the more difficult to go back into the dark.

“You’re delusional!” He screeched, heart thudding uselessly in his chest, “You think that just because you’re Piltover’s Golden Boy that everyone is destined to love you, but it’s bullshit, Jayce. You’re bullshit–”

Viktor knew he had said too much, gone too far, but still, he twisted the knife in deeper.

“ –And when I see you, I feel nothing.”

Nothing.

Jayce flinched, turning away as if he’d been struck. There was a chorded point of tension in his neck, and Viktor couldn’t stop looking at it as it shook and quivered. All at once it felt like the sun had been extinguished. Enough of this, thought Viktor, enough.

It felt like an eternity had passed before the man turned to look at him. But when he did, Viktor wished he hadn’t. Something had gone dead in his eyes. The light had faded and in its place, there was only a cold awful emptiness.

“Okay, Viktor,” he said simply, “okay.”

Suddenly, he was rising from the bed, turning his back, and getting dressed. There was something strange to his motions, smooth and gliding like a machine running on auto-pilot. By the time he turned to Viktor again, he was fully clothed. He was still wearing that chilling vacant gaze and although he only stood a few feet away, somehow it felt like he’d never been farther.

“Sorry I bothered you so much. I won’t do it again, I promise,” he said, voice completely neutral, “I’ll go back to my life and you’ll go back to yours and we can pretend that none of this ever happened.”

A glimmer of feeling twitched at the corner of his jaw, but then the man dipped his head and it was gone, completely erased from view. When he looked up again, there was something very wrong with his face. He was smiling, but it was wrong. Dim and unfeeling and the worst thing Viktor had ever seen.

“I give up,” he said, still smiling terribly, “That was what you wanted from the start, right? Sorry that I fought it for so long. But it doesn’t matter, I guess. You still win, Viktor. You win.”

He was right. This is what Viktor had wanted from the start. To be left alone to do things in his own way, on his own terms. To win. It was what he had decided when he’d been alone in the undercity slums, freezing through the winter and when he’d gone hungry for many nights in a row fighting for a chance to survive another day. Viktor’s life had been difficult, but it didn’t matter because he had won. He had won.

…

Right?

Jayce didn’t look at him, or rather, it was as if he looked right through him. As if Viktor had suddenly become a ghost. A cold feeling tumbled within him at the thought. Was it really that easy to cut someone out of your life? Viktor couldn’t answer, he realized, because he had never had anyone in it in the first place.

Jayce went to the door and suddenly Viktor had the urge to scream. Don’t go. Please. Please don’t go.

It was a strange sense of deja vu. A reversed mirror view of when it was him who had been on the verge of walking out of the guest house and Jayce had been the one gripping his arm begging him to stay.

Now, Jayce paused in the doorway, and against his will, Viktor lit up with a ray of traitorous hope. Look at me, he thought, just look at me. But Jayce didn’t look back at him. He didn’t move. He only stood there for a few moments, merging into shadow, and then with a click of the door he was gone.

—

The funny thing about parallel lines was that they traveled together infinitely frontwards and backwards and yet they would never cross. It was a cursed existence of sorts, one where they were doomed to never being truly together but also never truly apart. Viktor still saw Jayce every day –in class, in the hall, on the quad– but it was in the way one looked at the horizon, a distant point that moved farther away the closer you got.

Life resumed because that’s what it did. It continued. Sometimes sluggish, sometimes breathtakingly fast, but always in one direction. Forward.

The post-heat had left Viktor groggy and aimless, but it was a manageable discomfort that had given him just enough time to study for his exams. Those days had felt to him like a dream. One where he was inside his body, looking out through his eyes and breathing through his mouth, but not really feeling quite there.

And so, it had come as a surprise when the exam results were posted and Viktor saw that he had gotten top marks, beating out even Jayce Talis by a wide margin. Another victory that should have made him thrilled but just left him feeling sort of empty.

As a reward for his new and improved standings, his scholarship fund increased. Viktor quit working at the library, he stopped doing other students’ assignments, and took on research jobs that paid less but fed his mind more.

And now, as he sat on a bench in the quad, looking out across the empty snow-laden expanse, Viktor suddenly found himself faced with a question he had never had the luxury of asking before.

What now?

For the first time, there was nothing pressing to be done. He had money for food. Money for spare time. It was as if he had spent his whole life scaling a summit and now found himself standing at the peak, unsure of what to do next.

From such a height, all his struggles seemed small. He was as tall as a mountain, looking down at the world from the resting place of gods. It should have felt affirming, powerful even, but it didn’t.

It’s funny, thought Viktor, how he’d spent his whole life climbing only to realize now how lonely it was at the top.

—

In hindsight, there was a good reason people didn’t sit outside on benches in the dead of winter.

Viktor’s bones were chilled, fingers blue, teeth chattering, and by the time he came back inside he was so senseless with cold that he nearly ran head-first into Caitlyn who stood hulking in the doorway.

“Caitlyn,” he puffed out, surprised.

He avoided the mess these days, and she hadn’t reached out about studying together since his heat, which was pretty much what he had expected to happen. Once one bird decided to fly away, he reasoned, the entire flock tended to follow.

But now she was back. Here. A solid barricade between him and the hall. Viktor had always heard rumors of the girl’s ferocity but now he felt the beaming light turned towards him for a change and it burned so brightly, sizzling like a brand against his skin.

“What’s wro–”

“You need to talk to Jayce.”

Viktor’s breath crumbled in his throat, a bitter taste spreading on his tongue acrid like poison.

“It’s great to see you too.”

“I’m serious, Viktor.”

“So am I,” he said, sidestepping with his crutch. “And I’m pretty sure he’s the one who doesn’t want to talk to me.”

She stopped him with a hand to the shoulder, jerking him back to pin him with a murderous look.

“Viktor,” she said, eyes glinting, “Don’t be stupid.”

Stupid. Stupid. How many times had he been called that already? Viktor’s mind was sharp, his reason sound. His logic had always been his greatest ally and yet now it felt like a weapon turned against him.

“What am I supposed to do?” He grit out, “Chase him down? Beg? He’s done with me… what else do you want me to say? If you ever listen to the rumor mill you’d already know–” he sighed, quiet and tired, “ –that me and my kind have a tendency to ruin things.”

The words came out measly and pathetic and he knew it wasn’t in his nature to be so pitiful. But lately, Viktor found that his pride had gone missing. These days he couldn’t even look at his own reflection without turning away in disgust.

“Is that how you really feel?” Caitlyn’s eyes were hard yet somehow still beseeching.

“I know you guys fought a lot. Always running around trying to outdo each other like fucking children. But this is…” She shook her head, voice going soft, “this feels different… almost as if–as if you’re strangers.”

The statement fell on his ears, hard and heavy as bricks. Strangers. In all his life, thought Viktor, he had never heard a more lonesome word.

“What can I do,” he strained, speaking around the growing lump in his throat. “He’s done. He gave up… I can’t fight against something that’s not even there.”

Her hand unclenched from his arm, long breath winding from her lips. Then, she pushed a lock of dark hair behind her ear unveiling the deep ocean blue of her eyes.

“I’ve grown up with Jayce my entire life, you know,” her gaze flickered over him as she spoke, startlingly deep and perceptive, “His family has worked for mine for years. Generations… but we never treated them like employees. Never. We were raised like siblings and we did everything together. Tutoring lessons, eating, playing… everything, Viktor. Everything.”

Her stare had gone glassy with memory, expression torn between fondness and regret.

“And then one day we fought… It was over something stupid –so dumb. A new toy racer that my mother had gotten us. I loved that damn thing, and he did too. We argued over it constantly and one day the thing broke, snapped clean in half while Jayce was grabbing it from me.”

“Um,” Viktor murmured, “Caitlyn, that’s–”

She glared, nostrils flaring, “Would you just shut up for ten minutes and let me fucking talk.”

“Hey, I–” but his words died at the sight of the expression on her face, “er… okay.”

“Asshole… “ Caitlyn huffed, muttering under her breath before continuing her story. “Anyway. It broke and I was absolutely heartbroken… I cried about it for days and I think… well I think Jayce thought his family would be punished for it or something. So stupid. But after that, he… well then he–” her voice trailed off, stare going distant.

“He what–” asked Viktor, suddenly frantic, “What did he do?”

“Nothing.”

Caitlyn’s voice went hollow. “He did nothing…We never fought again… all the things we used to bicker about –who got to jump in the pool first, who got to play with what– all of it stopped… as if he suddenly lost interest, and then–” she took a shuddering breath.

“And then his mother passed… and it was worse. He was different, Viktor. Like he is today. Nice… perfect… always smiling. I don’t know… all of this—this reputation, the praise, the adoration– I don’t think he really ever wanted any of it, I don’t think he’s allowed himself to want anything… And I worry for him. I worry that maybe he’s done this for so long he doesn’t even remember how to stop, and I–”

She paused, throat working rapidly as if trying to swallow an ocean of tears. Time slowed, grinding to a halt until an eternity passed between two heartbeats.

“Except it’s different with you, Viktor,” she turned to him, and it felt like her eyes were piercing through his soul, “He’s always been different with you.”

Viktor didn’t speak. He couldn’t. He felt as if he was being torn apart, as if something with long claws was ripping its way out of his chest.

“I… I don’t know-”

“Yes. You do.” She was tall for a woman, towering before him and taking up all of his visions when she stepped forward to put a hand on his shoulder, firm. “You do.”

Everything felt frozen. It was as if the planets had halted in their orbits, leaving Viktor alone to wheel recklessly through space. Inside him, something was swelling, growing and growing until it filled him to the brim and then flooded past capacity. He felt as if his head had been plunged underwater; he was submerged in his own memories, swimming past them toward the light and watching as they floated by his head like a blizzard in slow motion.

He remembered the guest house with its small but roaring fire, the softest bed sheets, and the opened first aid kit. He remembered the smell of Jayce’s jacket, a shelter that wrapped around him as he was carried through the pouring rain. He remembered eating at a table surrounded by people and a sweet roll wrapped in a crushed napkin, but most of all he remembered the way Jayce had held him in his arms. The way he had whispered ‘perfect’ against his skin and looked at him as if Viktor was a star fallen straight from the heavens.

You’re not just any omega.

“Caitlyn,” he said, weakly, “I think I’ve been a massive dick.”

She shot him a look that spoke volumes without ever uttering a sound. You think?

“Gigantic,” she muttered, driving home the point, “So gargantuan it’d put the Titanic to shame.”

“Great. Thanks for clarifying.”

“Anytime,” she sniffed.

Viktor’s heart was still beating too fast. The world seemed to be captured in a bad camera; too bright and full of blurred dissonance. Through it all –the noise, the light– only one thing stood out to him clearly. Perhaps, thought Viktor, it had been there ever since the start.

“Caitlyn,” he said, feeling as if something was yawning awake inside him, “Sorry, but do you think you can do me one more favor…”

“Oh Viktor,” her face lit up in a radiant grin.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

—

Matter changed. It morphed between states –solid, liquid, gas– but never lost or gained energy.

When Viktor stepped through the doors of the guest house, he too felt changed. The facets of the memories that crowded in his mind were identical, but when he looked closer the meaning felt new. The same but different. Static in quantity but disparate in quality.

The room was empty. Silent and alone.

Mindlessly, he ran a hand over the familiar trappings, trailing his fingers over the furnishings as if they were precious heirlooms. The shelves, which had the barest sheen of dust. The bed sheets, which were pressed and cleaned. The headboard… well, that hadn’t changed. It felt hauntingly familiar, the same as it had felt when he’d gripped it in desperation, trying to anchor himself amidst the endless throes of heat.

Viktor shivered.

He was nervous for sure, but touching these things also seemed to give him a sense of ease. A satisfied comfort, not dissimilar to what it felt like when he was building something and finally connected two pieces that were meant to fit together.

Somehow, he found himself sitting on the bed sheets. Here, at the center of the room, the smell seemed to concentrate the strongest. Cleaning detergent and dust. But if he closed his eyes and focused hard enough he could smell something else too.

Pine and smoke, he thought dizzily.

The scent seemed to put him in a daze and for a second he could do nothing but sit there, watching with soft breath as the sun slipped through the window cracks illuminating floating motes of particle dust.

That’s when he noticed something sitting on the side table. It had been pushed to the corner, nearly squashed between the wall and the table edge and if the light hadn’t caught on it, Viktor might have missed it completely. He pulled it out, dislodging it from the gap and smoothing out the rumpled cover which read, Omega Care Basics: How to Keep Your Partner Happy and Healthy.

Up close, Viktor could see how worn the cover was. Pages had been bent and dogeared, whispering of fingers flipping restlessly back and forth. As he held it in his hands, some nameless emotion welled up in the back of his throat. He swallowed it down, hesitating, before letting out a sigh and opening the book to a random page.

During heat, an omega’s emotional state can be volatile. Sense of identity and self-worth are vulnerable and easily warped. Counteract any negative side effects by providing plenty of reassurance and encouragement.

The lines were worn, faded away from repeated exposure to light, and the words reassurance and encouragement had been underlined twice in blue pen.

The feeling inside him seemed to double in size. Biting his lip, he flipped to a different page which read,

An omega’s nest is the most important factor to consider during heat preparation. In heat, an omega will seek out the comfort of home, a shelter to keep them safe and anchored in the face of overwhelming biological changes.

Something cracked open inside him, surging out like sapling green shoots from winter snow. This passage had annotations as well, unreadable scrawl written in the margins and right in the center, a single circle had been drawn around the word home.

“Damnit, Jayce–” he muttered, tears prickling at the corners of his vision.

He clutched the book to his chest, falling back onto the covers. Dizzy and weak, he couldn’t help burying his head in the pillows. It gushed out from the cottony fabric, a lingering trace of Jayce’s scent, and then just barely underpinning it all, a little bit of himself mixed in as well. The scents mingled together, a powerful combination that seemed to make the world and all its noise fall away. He pressed his nose into the softness, chasing the scent of them. Together.

But the smell was too faint. He whined in disappointment, huffing in deeper and suddenly it invaded his senses. Strong and visceral and there. Pine and smoke.

Viktor gasped, eyes shooting open.

Jayce was a statue in the doorway, frozen midstep, expression grim and solemn.

“Viktor,” he said, voice cracking as if in pain. He took two steps closer and his legs were so long it brought him right to the edge of the bed.

Viktor didn’t make a sound. He was too busy drinking in the sight of Jayce like water. He was every bit as large as he remembered, towering, wide, and endless. There was a tiredness in his posture, dark circles under his eyes hinting at long sleepless nights. But still, he was beautiful. Devastatingly so. Over and over, Viktor mapped the lines of his face, wandering paths he could walk forever, but before he could get his fill, the man crumpled, dropping to his knees, head buried into the edge of the bed

“Unfair,” he said, voice muffled into the sheets, “Viktor, you’re so unfair.”

“I-um… sorry?” Viktor wasn’t sure exactly what he meant or what he was apologizing for. He only knew the flicker of disappointment that ran through him now that the man’s face was hidden from view.

“Jayce,” he said with a patience he didn’t feel, “Come on. Look at me.”

Finally, the alpha raised his head. Even like this, on his knees, haired mussed, with one cheek still mashed onto the covers, he was achingly handsome.

“It was working,” croaked Jayce, “I… it was awful and I hated it but it was working Viktor… I was giving up on you so then–”

He paused then, face screwed up in anguish.

“–So then what am I supposed to do when I see you here like this? What am I supposed to think?”

His voice fractured on the last word, and something seemed to give because then he sagged, moving as if to bury his face again, except–

Oh no you don’t, thought Viktor, bright and furious.

He grabbed Jayce’s face, hands locking around his jaw and chin, jerking it upwards so his neck was straining and his eyes wobbled heavily on his face. The sight of those eyes, hazel peridot, made it hard to speak, it caused his breath to stutter uselessly in his throat, but Viktor didn’t look away. He wouldn’t.

“Jayce Talis, you miserable bastard. Don’t you fucking dare give up on me.”

A sob escaped the man’s lips, harsh and broken even as he seemed to melt into Viktor’s touch.

“Viktor,” he said, voice fraying, “I-I thought you hated me… I thought–oh, Viktor…”

“I do,” he whispered, “God, sometimes I really do. You’ve completely fucked my life up… I was doing fine on my own but then you just had to barge into my life and give me everything I could ever dream of wanting and now I’m fucking ruined.”

Jayce’s eyes had gone glassy, narrowed to slits as if to look at Viktor was akin to looking at the sun. “I…I’m sorry,” he hiccupped, edging on delirium, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry–”

“Don’t apologize to me, you moron!” Viktor roared, blood sizzling up in his veins, “if you’re really sorry then fucking do something about it…I’m a mess, Jayce. I’ve been a mess ever since I met you so maybe you should be a man about it and take some goddamn responsibility for a change–”

Suddenly Jayce was right there, pressing him to the bed, boxing Viktor in so completely that he seemed as wide as the sky, everywhere and all-encompassing.

“Viktor,” he said, slow and solemn, “I’m going to kiss you now… I’m giving you fair warning so please don’t punch me this time, okay?”

Light poured through him, chasing away all the darkness from Viktor’s corners. It was a feeling of homesickness… but for a person instead of a place.

“No promises,” he murmured, heart thundering as Jayce pushed him into the covers and kissed him three times with three different meanings.

The first was soft. A barely there touch against his lips that seemed to say, hello, I’ve been waiting. The second was a yearning question, a lingering nip and pressure on his bottom lip that asked, are you there, are you there? And the third lasted the longest. A wet slide of open mouths that tugged desperate sounds from Viktor’s lips. Jayce licked into his mouth, biting him and bullying him with teeth and tongue, before humming into it, calming to something gentler, but still blazing with heat. There you are, this one seemed to say, preening with delight, that’s my Viktor.

“Jayce,” he sighed, soft and shivery when they separated for breath. Then, he took the man’s jaw in hand, tilting it upward so that when their eyes met there was nothing between them.

“I want you,” he said to him, simple and true, “Ever since the start. Even when I was convinced I didn’t. I want you, Jayce. I want you.”

It was winter but the air felt simmering and humid as if all of summer had crowded into the room. Jayce’s palm skated, smooth and cool against his soft underbelly, rucking up his shirt to press into the curve of his side, the divots of his hips. Then, just barely, Viktor felt the lightest scraping of teeth against his throat.

Viktor groaned, a deep and hungry noise, as Jayce lapped over the reddened skin.

“Only me,” he growled, fangs tracing that devastating spot again, “Swear it, Viktor. Swear.”

And if he wasn’t so busy trying to hold in his whimpering noises, Viktor might have laughed. After all, who else could there be? There was not another soul on the planet who could undo him so completely but before he could say so, Jayce’s eyes darkened, quietly seething at the absence of response.

“Promise me, Viktor,” he said, nipping again at his jaw, before moving a hand over his belly, his ribs, his thigh.

“Don’t let anyone else see this. No other alphas, not Finn, not–”

“Finn?”

It was so out of nowhere, and Viktor's eyes fluttered open in surprise. The expression that Jayce wore was so endearing yet fearsome that Viktor couldn’t help the grin that twitched at the corner of his lips.

“Jealous?”

But Jayce did not seem to find it so humorous. “I had thought–” he said, quiet and forlorn, “Where you’re from. If maybe he understood it better–understood you better… In a way that I can’t.”

It nearly broke Viktor’s heart, because in some way it was true. The man was brutish and cruel, but he alone understood the meanness that Viktor had come from, a tie of sorts whether he liked it or not. But Viktor was more than his past; his life meant more than cold nights shivering on the streets and the sourness of an empty belly. If Finn represented where he had come from then in many ways Jayce was the place he was moving towards. Somewhere better, he thought, somewhere warm and full of light.

The thought coursed through him as he cupped Jayce’s face, tipping it upwards like a flower towards the sun.

“Sometimes,” he said, “I think you know me better than I know myself.”

Then, Jayce’s mouth was on his again. He felt teeth digging into his bottom lip, then again when a wet pressure captured his tongue, pressing and pressing as if begging to be let in. He moaned shamelessly into the sensation, a full-body shudder running through him as if all of winter had melted into spring.

“Viktor… Viktor–” Jayce murmured into his throat, “So sensitive from just a kiss.” And when another bout of shivers ran through him, the man set his teeth lightly into the skin of his jaw and growled,

“I want to know what it feels like inside of you when you do that.”

Viktor could only close his eyes, nodding shakily through his tremors because yes, he wanted that very much as well.

But that was for later because for now it felt enough to simply linger, chasing kisses and biting skin until it was hard to tell where one mouth ended and another began. For a while, Viktor didn’t speak. He only touched, mindlessly caressing and tracing which, he supposed, was its own type of language. He ran his finger up the thick column of the alpha’s throat, the strong cut of his jaw, up to the elegant arch of his nose before coming to a pause at the ridge of his brow.

Viktor still remembered how mottled the skin had been after he had punched him, almost entirely black and blue. But now, the skin that twitched under his finger was warm and rich, not a trace of injury to be found. Except now, when Viktor looked closer, hidden between the hairs of his brow was a tiny moon-shaped scar, barely the width of a fingernail.

He held his breath, fingers ghosting over the white indent. “Did I… did I do this?”

“Hm?” Jayce took his hand, inspecting it, before pressing the palms together. “Viktor,” he said, “It’s nothing.”

Except now, with their hands between them, Viktor could see a faint cut on Jayce’s index finger, the lingering remains of where Viktor’s teeth had closed around it and broken through the skin.

“It scarred,” he murmured, dismayed.

Jayce didn’t seem upset by this. “I know.”

A tempest gale of feelings whirled within him. Half of him was upset, territorial as if stumbling upon damage to his property. But the other half was overjoyed, delighted at the idea of Jayce carrying Viktor on his skin for the rest of his life. Too many emotions warred within him and because he didn’t know what to do with a single one of them he simply sighed, pressing their hands together, and said,

“Seems I’ve really messed you up.”

“Well,” Jayce’s lips twitched as if holding back a laugh, “while that’s not completely untrue… believe me, this is the least of it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“I don’t know–” Viktor paused, unable to give words to the thoughts bubbling inside him. It was a new sensation, trying to express himself without feeling like he’d been backed into a corner and for a moment he found himself fearful of his own ability for destruction. Who knew what he was capable of? After all, the scars and injuries the other man bore were evidence enough that he was more than willing to trample anything in his way.

“I don’t know why I’m like this–” he said, suddenly sober, “sometimes, I just… sometimes I scare myself.”

Then Jayce shifted, moving up so that they were face to face against the headboard. There was a glimmering quality to his eyes. A hidden light at the bottom of a lake that you’d never reach unless you held your breath and jumped.

“Well–” he said, lips curling into a grin, “You are kind of scary.”

“Excuse m–”

“And a genius too,” he continued, smile widening, “And surprisingly, a bit of a crybaby. No wait–scratch that… a big one, actually.”

Viktor squawked with indignation, sentiments pushed away by petulance, “And you’re kind of an asshole,” he hissed.

“Ah, there he is,” said Jayce, eyes crinkling into an expression of knowing fondness, “that’s my Viktor.”

It was a trap of sorts, one that Viktor had stepped into all too willingly and it was alarming to realize that he’d been captive for so long he couldn’t even remember when he’d let himself be caught.

“Was this your plan all along?” He blurted out, suddenly mad with curiosity, “When you kissed me. All the way from the start?”

Now it was Jayce’s turn to be unbalanced. His face flushed, breath coming out in huffed surprise.

“No,” he said, voice softening, “I don’t think I could have ever planned for this. For you.”

“Then why?” Asked Viktor, pushing a stray lock from the man’s face, “What were you thinking that day?”

“I…I’m not sure I was thinking at all.”

Now, Jayce turned to him, all thoughtful glances and contemplation. “I just thought–well, truth be told, I thought that you were a bit strange… Cold and distant, but also brilliant, and I… I just kept wondering about you and then before I knew it I couldn’t stop wondering. And then when we were working together you were so focused… so consumed by the task at hand, as if you didn’t see anything else, and I just remember thinking that–”

Then Jayce paused, eyes going molten, “ –that I wished it was me you were looking at instead.”

Viktor swallowed, unable to breathe around the shivering feeling inside him. They were the words of a spoiled brat. A child who might point at a toy and scream and stomp until it was theirs and the thought drew helpless peals of laughter from his throat.

“Please. Don’t laugh,” said Jayce, cheeks reddening, “You… you must think I’m incredibly stupid.”

The laughter came out harder now, and Viktor pressed the back of his hand to his lips in a futile attempt to hold it back.

“Well–” he said, breathless and giddy, “maybe just a little.”

Then Jayce smiled –a real one full of warmth and light– and started laughing too.