Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If Minako had to shake another hand, she might have just blasted someone with a Crescent Beam.

 “So sorry for your loss,” said yet another person she didn’t know, and she nodded, shaking another sweaty hand. If they were really sorry, maybe they’d just leave her and her dad to mourn in peace.

Western funerals are awful, she decided as she glanced around the room at the gathered mourners. Why did you have to be baptized Mom? I guess I see now why you and Dad didn’t do that to me.

 “So sorry for your loss,” said a familiar voice in perfect English. Minako looked up and allowed herself a ghost of a smile. Her friends stood in the receiving line, with Ami standing in front of her.

Ami shook her hand, and then surprised the two of them by hugging her. “I really am sorry Mina-chan.” Ami whispered, “really.” Minako hugged her back, basking in the moment and allowing herself to feel grief even if it was for a minute or two.

Rei next, then Makoto, Usagi, Mamoru, Haruka, Hotaru, Michiru, and finally Setsuna. The older woman gave her a sympathetic smile, and Minako cursed herself for feeling anything other than whatever it was she was supposed to be feeling. “How are you holding up?” Setsuna asked, and Minako tried to swallow down the tears that bubbled to the surface.

“I’m ok,” she admitted. Try as she might, she couldn’t ever really lie to the Guardian of time, even if she wanted to. “I really want to get out of here.”

A thoughtful look crossed the usually stoic woman’s face, and after a moment she said, “will your father let you step away for a moment you think?”

Minako glanced over at her father, who had moved from the receiving line and was now chatting quietly with some of his coworkers. Aino Kendo looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, but considering how things were, he looked more put together than he did the night her mother had died. “I think so. I really don’t know what happens now.”

Setsuna nodded. “Hold on.” She moved to where Kendo was standing and politely tapped him on the shoulder. Kendo looked surprised, but when Setsuna said something quietly to him, he looked over at his daughter and nodded. When Setsuna came back over, she smiled again. “Come on, let’s go sit in the garden.”

--

Over the many centuries that Setsuna had existed in one form or another, she had been a witness to a lot of grief. Funerals and other similar rites weren’t unusual to her. Being one of the only ones to see the moon kingdom in its death throes, she was surprised she could even feel a modicum of emotion related to the subject.

But watching the usually vivacious and bubbly blonde sit quietly and stare into the koi pond, hands folded in her lap, the Guardian of Time thought her heart couldn’t break any further. Losing a parent was an ultimate grief, and Setsuna couldn’t even begin to imagine how Minako had felt. Her father’s death eons ago still ached, but it was more of a dull remembrance since she had been a small child.

The group of them weren’t unfamiliar with the subject – Rei’s grandfather has passed the year before – but thankfully Rei had been prepared as he had become ill slowly and passed in his sleep. Minako’s mother had been something that was quick and out of nowhere. One moment she had been in the hospital for a minor complaint, the next she was in hospice care and then she was gone.

“How are you feeling?” she ventured.

Minako looked up at her. “I… don’t know. I feel kind of… numb, I guess? Am I supposed to feel anything else?”

Setsuna shook her head and sat beside the blonde on the bench. “I think it’s more than ok to not ‘feel’ anything. Grief is hard.” She thought for a moment longer and then reached out, placing a hand on Minako’s knee. “You know that we’re all here for you.” I’m here for you too.

There was flash of something, and Setsuna glanced up to see the ghostly silhouette of Queen Serenity watching them with a sad face. Setsuna’s throat tightened and she tried to say something, but then the shade simply drifted away. Dammit, not again!

Minako sighed and Setsuna came back to the present. “I should probably go check on my dad.”

Setsuna nodded and stood up, letting Minako stand and stretch. “I hope getting some air helped?”

Minako smiled, and Setsuna felt relief at the first sign of emotion she had seen from the girl. “Yeah, it did. Thank you, Setsuna-san.” She turned and went back to the doors, giving the older woman a glance like she wanted to say something before opening the door and stepping inside.

Setsuna sagged onto the bench and put her head into her hands. This was getting ridiculous, and of all times for the shade to appear. It always seemed to happen when Setsuna was trying to show her feelings for Minako, even if it was subtly. She had no idea why, or even what the ghost of her former lover wanted with her. She wished it would leave her be.

“Ready to go Setsuna-mama?” Hotaru appeared from seemingly nowhere, and Setsuna breathed a sigh of relief. Haruka and Michiru were standing near the gate of the garden, both of them looking concerned for their housemate.

Setsuna stood up and nodded. “Let’s go Hotaru-chan.”

She took the girl’s hand and walked towards the gate. Haruka gave her a ‘you ok’? look, and Setsuna nodded. She’d talk to her housemates later.

Chapter Text

--

The house was quiet. It had been like that since the hospital. Usually, her mom would have music playing. She’d be singing along with the radio and making dinner but would always stop and say hello to her daughter, even giving Artemis a scratch or two.

But this time the kitchen was empty and silent. Artemis looked up from his napping spot on the floor in a patch of sunlight and got up, stretching before meowing quietly at Minako. She knelt down and scratched between his ears, ignoring her father as he came in behind her and set the food Makoto had sent them on the table.

Kendo watched his daughter for a moment, unsure of what to say. He had been on autopilot for the last two weeks, and suddenly with his wife buried, he had no idea what to do. What came next? “Um… are you hungry Mina-hime?”

The old nickname stung, and for a moment Minako wanted nothing more than to scream at her father that she wasn’t a little girl anymore – she had seen so much in her time on earth and in lives before that she wasn’t even sure she could feel anything. Instead, she shoved down the feeling and stood up. “Not right now. I’m going to my room.” Artemis leapt into her arms, and she turned, quickly walking up the stairs.

Her door slammed shut and Kendo sighed, sitting down at the table. His wife’s memory was everywhere – the western style furniture, her apron hanging on the wall, the dishes still sitting in the sink from the moment she had mentioned she had a headache that wouldn’t go away. The radio, a constant in their house, sat silent and unused. He thought to turn it on… but it didn’t seem the same.

He sighed once again and reached for the food Minako’s friend had sent them, unwrapping the furoshiki and helping himself. Regardless, he was going to try and continue on… for his daughter’s sake if nothing else.

--

Setsuna breathed in the scent of the tea deeply and gave Michiru a grateful smile as the other woman took a seat, slipping her legs under the kotatsu. Haruka was finishing up the dinner dishes and Hotaru had gone up to bed, leaving the two women to themselves.

“So, the shade appeared again?” Michiru asked after taking a sip of her own tea.

Setsuna nodded, sipping at her tea. “This is the first time it’s appeared outside of my dreams. I don’t know what it means.”

The Senshi of the Sea sat thoughtfully, seeming to stare into her cup. After a moment she looked up. “Do you think it has to do with what Luna told us?”

Luna looked at the gathered Senshi sitting in the control room and smiled. “I’m glad you’re all here. I have some… interesting news to share with you.”

Haruka raised an eyebrow. “Interesting enough that it couldn’t wait until after 12pm? Ouch! Gently Michi—”

What Haruka is trying to say,” Michiru cut in while Haruka rubbed her arm, “is that we’re glad you’re wanting to share with us.”

There was beat of tension in the room, and then Artemis cleared his throat. “Right. Luna and I managed to find, with the help of Ami, access to the archives of the Silver Millennium.” He turned to the monitor behind him and tapped a few keys with his paws. The large screen flickered to life, and after a minute or two it began to display images and script. “My memory of Lunarian isn’t that great, but I was able to translate it enough to discover some new things about all of you and your powers.”

Usagi tilted her head. “You mean we have powers that are different than what we have?”

"More like enhancing what you already have and expanding on them.” Luna said, her smile growing larger. “For example – since Makoto is the Senshi of Nature, she can communicate more clearly with plants.”

Makoto blinked. “I can? I mean, I’ve always been good with them but—”

Ami interrupted, “but remember last week at the greenhouse when you said the rosebush spoke to you? Or that you thought it did? Well, it can! And you can talk to it. Since I’m the Senshi of Water, I can do this!” The blue-haired girl closed her eyes, and suddenly a small cloud appeared in the room with them. Everyone jumped as the cloud let out a small burst of rain before disappearing.

Rei’s eyes were wide. “Oh wow. So… fire and I?”

“You’ve already been tapped into your powers a bit longer than the others,” Luna said. “We’ve all seen you light a candle with just a thought.”

Rei nodded, a smile on her face. “Yeah.”

“As for the rest of you,” Artemis said scanning the documents, “Haruka can control the wind and speak to it, Michiru can speak to ocean creatures and anything that lives in water as well as create waves and hurricanes—”

“Wait, what?” Haruka asked in disbelief. “I thought I was just… wow.”

Setsuna chuckled. Being the oldest of them in the room, she had seen the powers each Senshi were coming into. In the Silver Millennium it had been hard to convince them not to use them for pranks.

Ami continued. “Mamoru, we know that you control the Golden Crystal, but you can also now resonate with gemstones and earth itself. As for Hotaru – your healing powers have returned, haven’t they?”

The youngest girl nodded. “Yeah. And I can heal more stuff now – I mean animals and plants too. I helped a cat that got into a fight the other day and it was like he’d never been hurt.”

Minako finally spoke up. “What about me?”

To be honest, Setsuna was surprised that Minako had even come. She knew that the girl’s mother was currently in the hospital, and she hadn’t been available for much including patrols. She supposed that the blonde needed a break, so she was glad she was there.

Artemis gave her a gentle smile. “Well, Minako. As the avatar of the Goddess of Love, you can do a few more things relating to that. You can sense different kinds of love now, and your powers are also magnified by music. And singing.”

Minako blinked. “Singing? But I… are you sure?”

He smiled again, wider. “Yes, I am. Your voice can also magnify the power of those around you.”

Setsuna’s heart skipped a beat as she recalled the voice of the young Venus. She had been dubbed “the Songbird of the Moon” and had been known to settle planetary disputes by performing the evening of the negotiations. Her voice had been able to tame wild animals on earth, and it was only her singing that could help the Princess fall asleep after a nightmare.

Usagi grabbed Minako’s arm. “Mina-chan! You can definitely be an idol now!”

“Why don’t you try to sing something?” Mamoru suggested. “Maybe we can all help you hear the difference.”

Minako had been in singing lessons since she was young. Her mother was a former opera star who retired after she met her father and had a voice like an angel. Minako, up until now, had been told in any audition she had ever done that her voice was… adequate. “It just needs refining,” her mother would say, and she would help Minako go over her lessons again, singing each note with her until it felt right.

Her mother… her mother was currently at the hospital. Something was wrong with her, and the doctors didn’t know what it was. She and her dad had been with her this entire time until he’d suggested she go out for a change of pace.

“I… I don’t know.” She said softly, looking down at her hands. Usagi squeezed her arm gently. Finally, she looked up again. “I mean I can try something?” She didn’t wait for anyone to say anything, but simply began to hum the first tune that came into her mind.

To everyone’s surprise, the Silver Crystal suddenly appeared. Usagi blinked and reached out for it, cradling it in her hands. As Minako continued to hum, the Crystal began to glow brighter, and Usagi’s eyes closed as she let the power wash over her.

Setsuna’s own planetary crystal responded, pulsing with a warmth against her chest in the dimensional pocket she held it in. At the look on her friend’s faces, she knew they could feel it too.

Minako closed her eyes and continued to hum, letting the power she felt out through the gentle tune. In her mind she could see her mother smiling in encouragement, and it was that image that let her hum a little louder. After a few more bars, she stopped. Opening her eyes, she looked at her hands to see them glowing with an orange light. She’d only seen that light when summoning her princess form.

“Wow,” she whispered. “That’s… never happened before.”

Before anyone could say anything more, her phone buzzed. Quickly she dug it out of her pocket and flipped it open to see a text from her father. “I gotta go!” She gasped, and then ran out of the control room.

Back in the present, Setsuna shook her head. “I doubt it. My powers haven’t really changed much, so its most likely not related.” She took another sip of tea.

Michiru nodded. “But you and Queen Serenity were… close, like Haruka and I?”

Setsuna raised an eyebrow. “You mean lovers? Yes, we were. For a time.”

“I never knew you had a thing for older women.” Haruka had now joined the two of them, squeezing in beside Michiru with her own cup of tea. Her attempt a joke having failed, she coughed and sipped her tea. “I uh, well. She was older than you, wasn’t she?”

Setsuna nodded. “Yes, by about two eons. But you know how love can be. Sometimes age doesn’t matter. Granted I wasn’t underage when we began our affair.”

“Why did it end?” Michiru asked as she leaned into Haruka’s side.

Setsuna shrugged, finishing her tea, and setting down the cup. “She was the Queen, and I was to stay at my post no matter what unless summoned, which wasn’t often. I also think she didn’t love me the same way I loved her. First loves are often messy and well… to say I wasn’t a disaster when it came to that would be lying.” She sighed. “It just wasn’t meant to be.”

“Do you miss her?” Haruka asked.

“Sometimes. More like I miss what we had, and how it made me feel.” She traced the tip of her finger over the rim of her cup. “Like I could be happy, without any judgment or duty getting in the way.”

“You obviously feel the same way towards Minako?” Michiru offered.

Setsuna bit her lip. That was the first time someone had actually asked her about her feelings towards the younger girl. Could she lie to her oldest friends? What did it matter if she did have feelings for Minako? She wasn’t going to pursue the girl – she was grieving for her mother. And besides, it wasn’t like Minako felt the same towards her. “I do. But nothing’s going to come of it.”

 Haruka gave her a sympathetic smile. “You think so?”

Setsuna nodded and got to her feet. “I know better than to pursue someone who doesn’t feel the same way. Especially someone who’s going through what she is right now.” She gave them both a smile. “These days I’m probably better off alone.”

--

(Two weeks later)

Mars glanced over at Venus sitting quietly against the building and sighed. Patrols were boring enough usually, but when you had someone who wouldn’t even talk… used to be, you couldn’t even get Venus to be quiet for very long. Well. That was before her mom.

She looked back across the silent park they were watching. “did Luna say why she wanted us here?”

“Something about an energy spike her and Artemis noticed during a routine scan I think.”  Venus sighed. “I guess since we were all caught off guard by Galaxia they want to be super cautious. Not that I blame them.”

Mars nodded in agreement and went back to watching. The moon was bright, which bathed the trees and fountain in an ethereal glow. It was pretty – almost romantic in a way. She glanced at the blonde and decided to try a conversation again. “So… how are you?”

Venus looked up at Mars. “How am I?”

“Yeah. How are you?” Mars bit her lip, wondering if this was going to be worth poking at.

Venus laughed sarcastically. “Kind of wish people would stop asking me that.”

Mars’ eyes narrowed. “I mean it’s a normal thing for people who care about you to ask. I lost Grandpa last year – I of all people could understand what you’re going through. And I lost my mom when I was a kid. I get it.”

“Do you?” Venus burst, standing up so she was eye level with Mars. “its not some fucking contest Rei-chan! If you ‘get it’ you know it’s not that fucking easy!” Tears were streaming down Venus’ face now. “Every goddam day I wake up and shes’ not there! She’s gone and not any amount of power I have can bring her back! And now, now people want me to do the one thing that I can’t do without her! She’s the only one who’s ever believed in my voice and now, now she’s fucking gone!” She began to sob and collapsed to her knees.

Mars immediately knelt and hugged the blonde tightly while she cried. “I’m sorry Minako,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

“Dad is like a fucking zombie,” Venus sniffled. “He looks so lost, and he tries to talk to me but like… what is there to talk about? And Artemis, he’s trying so hard to be understanding but I know he wants me to be the leader like I’m supposed to be and I just… I can’t right now.”

Mars held the girl closer. “It’s ok. We all know you’re hurting.”

Venus nodded; head still buried in Mars’ chest. After another minute or two, Venus sat up and wiped at her eyes. “Thanks Rei-chan.”

Chapter Text

Rei and Minako had been spending a lot of time together recently.

Of course, it wasn’t any of Setsuna’s business. It wasn’t like she was Minako’s girlfriend- who cares who she chose to spend her time with?

Jealousy, Setsuna had learned, was not always so rational. She really hoped she was schooling her expression as they all sat around the Outer Senshi’s living room playing games and eating Christmas cake. Rei and Minako were sitting together on the floor, both of them pouring over a vintage fashion catalogue that was Setsuna’s gift to the blonde. Minako said something and Rei laughed, placing a hand on the girl’s shoulder.

“Setsuna,” Haruka whispered, nudging the taller woman in the ribs. “you’re going to rip the blanket.”

Setsuna looked down and realized she had twisted the fabric of the Afghan Hotaru had given her into knots in her hands, with the stitches beginning to strain at the effort. She gave Haruka a grateful look and decided to get up. “Anyone else want more champagne? And no, not you Usagi, you still get fruit juice.” The princess pouted until Mamoru pointed out the drawing she was working on with her new sketchpad, and she went back to work, talking him through her most recent drawing lesson.

Makoto watched the taller woman go into the kitchen, and she raised an eyebrow. She wasn’t blind – she may not be the Senshi of Love, but it would take an idiot to not notice that Setsuna was reacting to Rei and Minako’s closeness. For some reason everyone but Minako could see that Setsuna cared very deeply for her. Although if she was honest, even before her mom had passed Minako was not the most observant.

If Makoto had to venture a guess, Rei was simply helping Minako deal with her grief. Rei wasn’t very interested in dating after their fight with Galaxia and had been focused the last two years on running the shrine after her grandpa’s death. But considering this was the first time in a long time that anyone had seen Minako smile for longer than a few minutes, maybe there was something there?

Her thoughts were interrupted when Ami sat down on the couch beside her and snuggled in. The girl’s cheeks were red with excitement and probably the alcohol. “Mako-chan,” She teased as the brunette put an arm around her and pulled her close, “stop sitting and making funny faces!”

Makoto chuckled and kissed the top of Ami’s head. “You should also drink some fruit juice.”

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Setsuna leaned against the counter and took a deep breath. Come on Setsuna, you can handle this. You’ve stared down death for God sakes. A little jealousy isn’t going to kill you.

Haruka came into the kitchen herself and went to get a bottle of sparkling juice from the fridge. “You know, you could just tell her how you feel. That would clear things up.”

“Shut up Haruka,” Setsuna muttered, getting the glasses down from the cupboard and setting them on a tray. “You know it’s not that simple.”

“It could be,” the other woman said, blocking Setsuna’s way out of the kitchen. “You should tell her.”

Setsuna drew herself to her full height (only a few inches taller than Haruka, but she knew how to make it count) and glared. “Haruka, I appreciate the concern, but please stay out of it.” Before the Senshi of wind could make another comment, Setsuna pushed past her and into the living room.

A little later in the evening

Rei hated the steps up to the shrine on a good day – but carrying a drunk Minako and trying to make it up them might have tied with that. She didn’t feel comfortable letting the girl go home in that condition, so she had told the others she would take her home and get her sobered up.

“Rei?” Minako giggled, “I can’t feel my feet.” She hung onto the black-haired girl’s shoulder and laughed again. “Funny that, I can’t feel much of anything these days so how do I know what my feet feel like?”

Rei rolled her eyes. “Minako-chan, you have to help me get up the stairs or we’ll be sleeping outside.” She dug in her coat pocket for her keys to the gate that lead to the living quarters behind the temple.

“It’s too cold for that,” the blonde slurred, still hanging on to Rei with a death grip. “it’s way too coooooollllllldddddd…”

Finally, Rei managed to get them to the gate and unlocked it, dragging Minako behind her. “I don’t know how we managed to keep Usagi sober and not you. Usually, it’s the other way around.”

“But sham-pog… sham-pagin… it’s good!”

Rei continued to drag the blonde behind her, successfully removing both of their shoes and getting her to the bedroom, where she sat Minako down on the bed and busied herself with turning on the lights and finding something for the girl to wear to sleep. She’d roll out the futon and sleep on the floor.

Speaking of said girl… Minako was suddenly rather silent. Rei, concerned, turned around…

… and was pressed back against her dresser, the blonde kissing her hungrily. She gasped into the kiss and tried to push gently against Minako’s shoulders, but it only caused the blonde to kiss her back harder.

Finally Rei managed to push the girl back, having to use a little more force. “Minako,” she gasped, “what are you doing?”

Minako’s eyes were glazed over, as if she couldn’t see the girl in front of her. Finally she whispered, “I just want her to see me.”

“Who?” Rei asked.

“Setsuna,” Minako responded, her eyes now looking past Rei’s shoulder. “I love her.”

Rei nodded. “I know Minako. But why try to kiss me?”

“It makes me forget how alone I am…” the blonde said, her eyes clearing up and locking onto Rei’s. “Ever since Mom… Mom was the only one who I wanted to sing for. But I could sing for Setsuna. I’d sing for her all the time if she would let me.”

“I think she might let you.” Rei said. “She might feel the same way.”

Minako shook her head, sitting down on the bed. “She’s too good for me. I’m just a dumb kid.” Before either girl could respond, Minako’s face tinged green and she burped, “uhh…”

Thankfully Rei had enough faculties to shove her trash can under the blonde’s chin as the results of her drinking made themselves known. It was going to be a long night…