Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Some people would describe it as sickening, others would call it abnormal, the vast majority would categorize it as an “unhealthy obsession”, how odd, there's many ways to love, after all. As for him? It felt like a love so pure, so precious, it could be described like chasing for the purity of a white fox. Quite abstract, isn't it? He was mesmerized by his beloved's everything.

At first, it was like an ordinary, innocent highschool crush, nothing to be worried about. A reserved and clever guy, becoming so enamored by one of his peers: a shy, intelligent and awkward young man. It was adorable.

Ukyou Arakida, only a few months away from graduating and becoming an adult. He was quite anxious, he wasn't gonna lie, after all, being so close to giving closure to his opening chapter, not knowing what to do next… It was puzzling, and yet, he was only sure about one thing: all he wanted was to spend the rest of his chapters, the rest of his “book”, next to him.

Nozomi Hada, the man of his dreams. They were classmates ever since the start of highschool, barely even knowing each other until half of the first year. Oh, that day… He'd feel butterflies fluttering furiously in his stomach from just remembering it!

That day, he was feeling down after classes, so he decided to kill time and enjoy life by going to his favorite arcade. Nothing out of the ordinary, after all he loved video games. While he was heading there, he realized that one of his classmates was heading the same way, kind of odd, but it must've been a coincidence! …Nope, they both had the idea of going to the arcade!

He hoped for the other man to not think he was being a stalker, as he noticed to be approached by him, but the words he received were in fact a much better outcome to the situation.

“Um… Arakida, right? We're… We're in the same class, and all of that. I wanted to know if you… went here to play too— ah wait of course you have, it's an arcade…” The taller man started, blurting out some words too fast, consumed by nervousness.

“Erm, you're Hada, right? I didn't know you liked video games!” He continued. He didn't exactly expect to ever talk to the blue haired man in any situation that wasn't related to their school environment.

“Yeah… Well, do you wanna play with me? It's alright if not.” Nozomi proposed, looking the other way.

“Of course! What should we play?” Ukyou at the time couldn't exactly predict what this event would have unfolded, of course.

That evening a friendship blossomed, two young men sharing their interests soon started to reunite in that arcade often, and before he could even realize… Feelings blossomed as well. Warm, fuzzy feelings, as if time went faster around Nozomi, as if the world turned into an utopia near him. It was so intense, yet so innocent.

Soon those feelings mutated into desire, not even sexually, it was actually the desire to have Nozomi, to hug him, embrace him, kiss him, profess his love to him and be corresponded, start a relationship with him, feel loved. He also felt attracted to the blue haired man's whole being. And as innocent feelings mutated into this desire and attraction, it was also able to mutate more and more.

Months passed, he grew closer and closer to his beloved, and it caused his attraction, his feelings, his desire to morph into an obsession. He soon found himself following Nozomi from a distance, taking pictures of him, memorizing his schedule. Of course, at first he felt disgusted at himself for doing that, but he sat and thought: wasn't it what love did to him? Such an innocent emotion, causing a catastrophic reaction… It was so amazing..!

All he knew was that he wanted to breathe the same air as his beloved, as selfish as it was, he didn't care. No matter how aware he was of the fact that staying near the purity of that man was wrong.

He could perfectly corrupt the white fox's purity, just like a spider releasing its venom inside someone's blood. Just like a mosquito taking away blood and leaving itching marks.

Soon, he realized that he in fact wanted to corrupt Nozomi.

It was so wrong…

But he loved it.

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Following and chasing in secret, chasing the purity he could never reach.

It was his favorite activity, part of his routine.

Of course, Nozomi could never find out, or even the thought of ever going near him again would be impossible.

What would he think anyway?

That was a mystery, sadly.

Focusing on what was going on outside of the thunder of thoughts, he kept following the fox from a distance, until he got home. It was a nice house, Nozomi lived with his uncle in a cozy place, full of bushes in their garden.

He stayed hidden in one of the bushes that were right in front of a window, he could perfectly see his beloved. He couldn't help but to feel his cheeks flush, as he drifted into his most obscure thoughts about the taller man. Thoughts he could never say out loud.

He realized Nozomi was going out, probably to hang out with his friend, Yui. She was quite a bitch. How could his beloved prefer hanging out with that snake? Over him? Unacceptable.

He hid in the bushes deeper, encountering a few centipedes, but it didn't matter, he couldn't be discovered.

He waited until he was sure Nozomi wouldn't come back, and he got carefully out of his hiding spot. He cleaned himself up a bit, and stomped on the centipedes.

He directed himself to the door, his heart racing.

Knock Knock…

An old man opened the door, and kindly waved at him.

“Hello. What brings you here, young man?” The older man softly spoke.

“Um— Well I… I’m Nozomi's friend, Ukyou. I was… erm… wondering if I could have a word with you, Mr." The nervous spider muttered.

“So you're Ukyou? It's nice to finally meet you! Nozomi always talks about you, please, come in.” The old man made his way inside, directing Ukyou to the living room.

The spider sat on the couch, next to the old man.

He told Mr. Hada his desire to stay near Nozomi, of course, omitting the obscure details. He made it seem like just some innocent highschool crush and friendship.

And the man fell right into his web.

The man was of course surprised, but relieved. And he confessed to Ukyou that Nozomi had quite “similar” feelings.

In fact, something shocking happened.

“I know it might be too much to ask, but please look after my nephew. I'm too old to take care of him, and his parents have no desire to stay near him. He's quite lonely, and when you came into his life he was happier. So please, stay near him, take care of him. And if anything happens, please take him with you, because I won't be here for longer. I'm glad you came here, Ukyou” The sickly old man was dead serious.

Ukyou smiled, his heart was racing with joy. This meant that if the old man couldn't take care of the fox, he could have him all for himself. How convenient.

He exchanged numbers with the sick man, so he could tell him how Nozomi was doing.

For a few months, he kept chasing the fox, updating on his status for the old man, who just kept getting worse.

Nozomi was notably less chatty, spaced out, obviously sad about his only family's state.

Seeing the pure fox so unconsolable was painful.

He tried his best to comfort Nozomi, to be there and ignore his obsession for even just a second. He was still Nozomi's friend, and the best he could do was to try his best to help.

But he couldn't help but to get excited whenever Nozomi got closer, to hug him.

Him out of all people.

Not Yui, not any of their other classmates, not his uncle, not a teacher.

Him.

Everything was so… perfect…

He couldn't help but to imagine, imagine himself corrupting the white fox's mind. Eating up all traces of purity there were.

And he knew he wanted to do it. He wanted to consume every bit of that man until there was nothing left. And then his life would be complete, and he'd die to reunite with his beloved in hell. Because corrupted creatures, like them in the future, could never enter heaven.

And it was just what he wanted.

To suffer by his side.

It would be perfect!

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Breaks at school would be boring whenever Yui snatched his beloved from him, to hang out and do stupid shit. But today was definitely different.

Nozomi was nowhere to be seen, but he was at class; he would know well, he stared at the fox the whole day.

He searched everywhere, on every single corner and place. Until he found his beloved, in the garden.

Yui was there.

“Um… Nozomi…” She started.

“Yes? Why did you want me to meet you here?”

“I need to tell you something… really important.” The snake continued, visibly flushed and nervous.”

Yui took a deep breath.

“I-... I…” The words couldn't come out of her stupid mouth.

So, she just decided to show what she tried to say.

She got close to Nozomi, and…

Kissed him.

Right. In front. Of His eyes.

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How couldn't he notice?! It was so obvious she liked his beloved. And it was unacceptable. She stole the pure, and perfect opportunity to be Nozomi's first kiss.

It was sickening.

He felt like he could cry, throw up and scream at the same time. So the best he could do was to run off, tears running down his face as he tried to get the memory off his brain.

But as much as he hated to have that image burned into his head, he couldn't just forget it.

He ran off the school, not giving two shits about how classes didn't end yet. He didn't care, he just ran away.

He got to his lonely apartment, and the moment he stepped in he just… broke. He was screaming in an intense agony, not to his physical sense but to his weak stability. All he worked for, all the plans he had, were probably taken away by that snake.

He cried his eyes out, until there weren't any more tears to spill.

All he had planned, all he imagined, was thrown into the trash. The little fantasy of asking the shy Nozomi out, and kissing his innocent and pure lips. To kiss what was never kissed before. It was all gone.

All because of her.

Thoughts he didn't want to think got in his mind, it felt like they were hammering through his sanity.

» What if he likes her? «

» What if they get together? «

» What if she makes him hate me? «

» What if they kiss or have sex? «

» What if they get married? «

» Will he forget me? «

» Will I be alone forever? «

Being alone… Without him…

That kind of life wasn't even an option in his mind before. But knowing it was very likely now was like dying. He shouldn't have become so obsessed, so enamored by the white fox's purity and self. It was too late now.

He didn't want to get out of his home, he wanted to perish there.

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How long has it been? He probably laid on his bed for at least 3 days, doing nothing. He was so hungry, so thirsty. Not only for food and water, but he was desperate to see Nozomi again.

He would've still stayed there, though. His life didn't have a meaning if there was a chance of never ever being near Nozomi.

It was probably about 5 a.m.

He didn't care and couldn't tell.

He probably could've just died there if it wasn't for the fact that his phone buzzed for probably the gazillionth time.

Ukyou checked who it was, and surprisingly, it was Mr. Hada.

Not a teacher, not even any of the classmates he sort of got along with and might've been worried.

This time it was Mr. Hada, how odd.

He finally answered, after the phone buzzed for at least a solid 10 seconds.

» Ukyou? Are you there? « The old man on the other side of the line asked.

“...Yeah.” Since when was his voice so weak?

» Thank god… Nozomi's been worried sick for you, kiddo. He looked for you everywhere and whenever he rang your doorbell you wouldn't answer. What the hell happened to you?! «

Nozomi was worried? He wasn't hanging out with his probably new girlfriend?

“Really..?”

» Of course! You were nowhere to be seen after the first break at school three days ago! What happened?! «

“A girl kissed him.” He hissed out.

» What?! And you just ran away to hide?! «

“He was supposed to be kissed by me. I don't understand…”

» Kid, she might get in the way of our plan, Nozomi didn't tell me anything about that. Who was she? «

“Yui Arashi, she was Nozomi's friend. Honestly, she's disgusting.” Just saying that name made him almost lose his temper.

» No wonder, Nozomi had told me about her…

Kid.

I might have an idea. «

Chapter Text

»Meet me in the school basement at lunchtime, I have all the answers you’ve been looking for, i’ll be waiting for you.«

She stared at the paper she found on her locker. It was odd, what could those answers be? Could it be that the person that will be waiting for her actually wants to help her? What if it’s a trap?

What if it 's not?

“I can’t miss this opportunity.” She reasoned, it was no use to be paranoid.

She would do all in her power to solve that problem.

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»Meet me in the school basement after classes are over :) - Ukyou«

He stared at the note that was sitting inside his locker. Ukyou went missing after lunch, and so did Yui. It was clearly a note from him, though, the handwriting was exactly the same. The little smiley face was another sign it was him.

What could Ukyou even want? Maybe he’d tell him why he’s been acting weird lately, or where Yui is.

“Well, there is only one way to find out…”

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A sinister giggle, that was all he could hear from the staircase leading to the pitch dark basement. Was that Ukyou? No way…

He went down the stairs, encountering the semi open door leading to the first room.

A dim, faint light came out. He surely was there.

He fully opened the door, the light wasn’t enough to make whatever that was in the room visible, maybe it was from a weak candle. A heavy presence came from inside, as well as a disgusting smell. The air became heavier, and he wasn’t sure why. He looked for the light switch, not sure where it even was.

Until he heard steps coming closer. The presence gently pushed inside, and closed the door.

“Hey-!” He couldn’t say more, because the door was locked, and the lights turned on.

And the moment he could see everything, he wanted to tear his eyes out.

He screamed, sobbed upon what he saw. He dropped to the floor, crying.

“Yui! No… No! Why?! Why..?” Was all he could say in between his cries.

It all had to be a prank, a cruel joke, he thought.

The smell of the blood, and the lifeless body right in front of him said otherwise.

He wanted to be in denial, to be able to think his friend was still alive. He wanted to see her smile again, he wanted to hear her laugh. He wanted to hear the “Ha! I got you!” she would always say after scaring him as a prank. He wanted to see her stand up, and take off a fake knife from her abdomen.

He wanted to believe Yui was still in that rotten world, with him.

But, what was in front of him wasn’t his friend, what was in front of him was the shell of her former self. Yui Arashi was dead.

So, he cried his heart out. Every tear felt like acid on his cheeks. All he could think of were all the things he couldn’t tell her anymore, all the things he regretted telling her, everything he could remember of her.

Yui was still young, their whole class was almost or already eighteen, and in two months they would graduate. The fifteen of them would’ve gone to college, gotten a job, done all sorts of things. But now, she wouldn’t be able to do anything. Someone stole her life away from her.

Someone killed her.

Someone killed his friend.

What if he could’ve avoided it?! What if the last time he saw her, walking through the hall, he would’ve stopped her? What if he talked her out of her fate? What if she could’ve been saved?

He didn’t save her, no one did. No one, not even himself.

Yui Arashi was murdered, and the monster that did it was right behind him. He could feel the penetrating stare of that monster.

He didn’t want to look at them, he didn’t want to be in the same room as them.

He was too afraid of who this creature could be.

Nozomi breathed heavily, tears still dripping from his eyes without a stop. He couldn’t move, as he heard the presence’s steps towards him. They kneeled down, right behind him.

And hugged him.

Their hands were pale and small, with little bandaids on their fingers. Their sleeves were of a regular male school uniform, the same he was wearing, except it had splatters of blood, still fresh. Their hands were bloody too, and they were shaking.

The person was trembling in a mix of fear and instability, holding him tight.

He knew it was a possibility, which he tried to deny, but the realization still hit him, hard. And it made him cry even more.

Ukyou wasn’t crying, but he could tell that he was scared.

Maybe.

“Shh… Don’t cry, my beloved. She wasn’t meant to even exist in the first place.” The shaky, but terrifying voice whispered to his ear. That monster wasn’t even scared.

Not even meant to exist.

Yui, the dead body in front of them. Out of all people, he chose to say that about her.

He clenched his fists.

“How… How dare you?!” He yelled, his voice was shaky. He was terrified of the monster hugging him.

“Huuuh⁓? Whatd’ya mean?” That tone Ukyou used, he used it every time he jokingly played dumb. Why was he playing dumb now?

“How dare you talk like that about her?! She 's… She’s dead!” He gritted his teeth, trying not to go and punch the monster behind him.

For all he knew, Ukyou could have another weapon.

Ukyou probably wanted to taunt him with his best friend’s death, to then kill him too.

“I know she’s dead, silly! She deserved it.” The purple haired boy replied.

“You… You killed her! You’re a monster! I… I hate you!” He yelled, as he directed his hands onto his hair, pulling at it.

He couldn’t stop crying. Not even after the horrible monster broke the hug and stood up.

“You… hate me? Are you lying? You hate me after all I’ve done for you?” Nozomi could hear the other male’s voice crack, Ukyou was now crying too.

He turned around, to see Ukyou stained in blood. The boy’s hair was all messy, his face showed pure horror as he cried almost without a noise. Ukyou was trembling, his hands were covering his mouth. Ukyou looked like he was about to pass out.

All the life he once saw in that boy’s eyes was just as gone as the life Yui once had.

“No… No, no, no, no… No! No no no no no no no! You can’t hate me! You can’t! We were meant to be! She’s out of the way, you’re supposed to love me! This isn’t what he promised!” Ukyou screamed, he was sobbing.

He didn’t even seem to regret killing, he just seemed to be hurt by his hate. Pathetic.

He stood up, ready to try his best to bust down the door and run away. Give Yui justice. But just as he headed towards the door…

“Oh no, you aren’t going anywhere.” Ukyou chuckled from behind him.

He turned around, and the last thing he saw was Ukyou, swinging a baseball bat towards him.

All he could see in those brief seconds was the sadistic, disgusting smile of that boy. His eyes were glowing of pure adrenaline and a terrifying, odd feeling he couldn’t identify.

And then the world became pitch black.

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A ringing noise, nagging as ever. His head hurt, everything hurt. He felt dizzy, as consciousness embraced him once again. He tried to clutch his head, but he couldn’t move.

His vision was half obstructed with something, and it was too dark to see. But he could recognize he was in a bed of some sort, and that his clothes were different. His hand felt odd, as well.

“Ughh…” He groaned, trying to move once again.

He realized he was tied up, and desperately tried to set himself free. His efforts were obviously useless. He yelled for help, tried to get off the rope limiting his movement. All he achieved was falling off the mysterious bed with a thud.

He writhed in pain, once again trying to set himself free. That was, until he heard a creaking door opening.

His eyes went wide, he tried to stay as quiet and still as he could, as he heard footsteps going down some sort of staircase. It’s pretty obvious that he was absolutely terrified.

The steps got closer, and when they came to a stop they were replaced by the sound of rattling keys. The keys seemed to open a lock, and once the lock opened, so did a metal door. The steps continued inside, and the door closed. The presence got closer, until they bumped into Nozomi and tripped forward. They seemed to have crashed against some sort of drawer or nightstand, and they also dropped something.

“Ouch-! Fuck… Nozomi? Is that you? I dropped your food when I tripped, sorry.” Ukyou giggled.

“What..? Ukyou?! Where am I?!” He freaked out, having Ukyou still semi on top of him (or near him in general) felt disgusting.

“Oh, y’know, your new home.” There was no way to see Ukyou from how dark the place was, but he could even smell the smile on the boy’s face.

“When did I even agree to this?! I don’t wanna be near you!” He yelled.

“Huh? Why? You’re my boyfriend, why are you being so mean?” The shorter boy fake cried. Before Nozomi could even ask what the hell Ukyou meant by saying they’re together, Ukyou turned on a lamp that was on the nightstand. “Plus, it’s not like you have a choice.”

The blinding light made it difficult for Nozomi to process all of this, he wasn’t exactly used to bright lights at this point: first, the school basement’s lights were so old they barely did a half decent job at illuminating, and then god knows how much time he’s spent in the dark now. Either way, as soon as his eyes didn’t hurt anymore thanks to the lamp, he looked around. First thing he noticed, he was wearing a black shirt a few many sizes too small for him, as well as some obnoxiously bright boxers and socks. Of course, his right eye’s vision was still obstructed, and he was still tied up. He couldn’t even begin to understand what was going on, but he hated it already.

Next, he looked around the room. He seemed to be in some sort of small improvised cell, like a prisoner. There was a bed with the plainest sheets and pillows ever, an empty drawer, a mini fridge, a trashcan and the nightstand Ukyou bumped against when he tripped. Thanks to the ruined food, the place was a total mess. The little to nothing he could see of the outside was his guess of it being some sort of almost abandoned, messy basement. It was full of dusty boxes, old toys and clothes, and empty shelves collecting dust. The only new looking thing was some sort of closet.

Ukyou got away from the nightstand, and noticed Nozomi analyzing the place. “Aww, already getting used to your new home? That 's cute!” He expressed, with a stupid smile.

God. Couldn’t he shut up?!

He looked at the shorter male in an annoyed gaze, and he got looked back at happily.

“I’m so happy we’re finally together! I’d definitely enjoy having dinner with you, but the food is kind of ruined. I’ll clean it later, I promise. For now, maybe, we can just hang out.” Ukyou bubbled, to then pick Nozomi up. Since when was he so strong?! “I have so many plans, even if this isn’t how I imagined it would be, it’s still gonna be so fun!” he giggled, while putting the taller male back on top of the bed.

“Since when are we even together?! I never accepted, and I don’t want this! You killed Yui!” He argued.

Ukyou’s gaze went from playfulness to annoyment in the span of a second. “Jeez, again with that? So what if I killed her? You don’t have a say in this, we’re gonna be together forever, and you’ll definitely learn to like it, darling.” He laughed. “I just gotta make you used to me, and I know exactly how to.” He leaned closer to the blue haired male, with a mischievous grin on his face.

He leaned in for a kiss, Nozomi trying his best to get away from it until Ukyou’s hand grabbed his head to keep him still. The kiss was gross, Nozomi was constantly fighting to get away, while Ukyou was fighting for it to continue. At some point, Ukyou bit Nozomi’s lower lip, with such force it even bled slightly, the metallic taste driving him closer, slipping his tongue inside Nozomi’s mouth. The taller male felt powerless; a slight, unnoticeable amount of tears spilled out of his eyes, as he slowly became more oxygen deprived. Ukyou was having the time of his life, even whimpering of excitement every now and then. And it was just… gross.

He didn’t want to spend even a second more near that freak, he just wanted to go home and see his uncle again. He cried, in this situation the most he could do was to wait to be rescued, would anyone even look for him?

The disgusting kiss soon was broken by Ukyou, who just broke it to not kill Nozomi with the lack of oxygen. Ukyou breathed heavily, face flushed and drool dripping from his mouth.

As Nozomi tried to breathe, all he could think of was that it was all real. It wasn’t a dream, he was kidnapped by the killer of his friend. And said killer was his “best friend”. As soon as he could breathe decently, he spit out the words that would trigger the downfall of his pathetic life:

“You’re disgusting.”

And that did it, not even a second later he could feel a sharp pain on his cheek. Ukyou had slapped him, hard. “Nozomi… You’re sooo gonna regret this.” Ukyou smirked. And thus, he pushed Nozomi so he’d be laying down, and clenched his fists. He started punching the taller man on the stomach, each hit being harder and more painful than the previous one. All Nozomi could do was whine, scream and try to get away, always unsuccessful. The purple haired man was smiling the whole time, and was obviously enjoying his “lover’s” pain. It felt humiliating.

After what felt like a torture of a long time, the pain came to a stop. Ukyou backed away, and got out of the cage, making sure to leave it locked. In a matter of two peaceful minutes, he was back, holding a knife. The horror in Nozomi’s eyes was something Ukyou would treasure in his heart forever.

The world seemed to go slower, Ukyou was taking forever to approach, enjoying every second of Nozomi’s fear. Once he was inside the cage, he got terrifyingly near Nozomi while holding the knife with a tight grip, drool dripping from his mouth as he approached the knife to Nozomi’s neck. The tears from moments prior came back, as he breathed heavily.

“Don’t cry, my beloved! I promise it’ll be quick⁓”

And as quickly as he said it would be, the knife met the side of Nozomi’s neck, cutting it deeply enough to draw blood but still keep him alive. It was a sharp, stinging pain, he choked the cry he was going to let out. Blood dripped from his neck, and the knife separated from it, instead the wound was now meeting Ukyou’s tongue, as the purple haired male licked and tasted his blood. “You taste so⁓ good… I’d eat every last bit of you!” The monster whispered.

Ukyou used the knife to cut Nozomi’s clothes, careful to not cut the ropes, and decently managed to get him naked. The purple eyed one stared at his soon-to-be victim, with hungry eyes. “You’re so cute⁓” And thus, he slid the knife through Nozomi’s chest, leaving a trace of blood and wound behind. He cut, and cut, and cut. He marked Nozomi’s body as he pleased; while Nozomi cried, whined and screamed. He turned the boy around, and gave his back a good look before an idea lit up in his head.

“Why not carve my name on your back? Wouldn’t it be so romantic?” Nozomi’s heart dropped. “What?! Are you crazy?!”

Ukyou chuckled, as he carved the “U” onto Nozomi’s back. Nozomi screamed, his cries of pain kept getting louder as he begged for Ukyou to stop. That only made Ukyou more eager to continue, and he carved the “K”, then the “Y”, the “O”, and finally the “U”. The relief of everything stopped, even with the stinging pain and blood dripping out, was brief; Ukyou still had to carve his last name. And he did, and by the end of it Nozomi’s back spelled “UKYOU ARAKIDA”, on small cap letters. Nozomi was still crying, with the feeling of pure agony not seeming to want to go away.

And… God, that was just the beginning.

Ukyou giggled, licking the blood that came out of the carving of his name. The feeling was disgusting. It was all too much, all Nozomi ever wanted was a peaceful life, but he was dragged into this. He felt like he should’ve never approached Ukyou that day. But the past already happened, and now he couldn’t undo his mistake.

“I can’t wait to do all sorts of things with you! Where do we even start? We can’t do anything outside your cage for now, too risky…” Ukyou expressed, looking the other way to think better. “I know! You’re already in such a… lewd display, so why not have our lovely first time? Nishishi~!” He giggled, blushing slightly. Nozomi’s eyes widened, he felt like he could throw up from just hearing that.

Sex? No, that was supposed to be good, not… this.

Ukyou lifted Nozomi’s behind up, and the noise of something unzipping came right after. Without any warning, he felt something press against his hole, and that something forced itself inside with a slam, earning an agonizing scream off the blue haired boy. “You’re kinda tight, but it doesn’t matter, you feel nice.” Ukyou assured.

Ukyou seemed to dislike warning people about his next move, because once again it took Nozomi by surprise when he started thrusting in and out in a violently fast and harsh way. He could swear he was bleeding from the painful intrusion. All he could do was sob, scream and attempt to beg for mercy, but nothing he did or said even worked. It was torture. He could listen to the slight moans and pleasured whines Ukyou let out, and it made him feel disgusted.

He could hear praise coming from the other boy’s mouth, and he could feel hugged. But it was all wrong. It wasn’t how things were supposed to be, this wasn’t loving, this wasn’t caring. This was the worst thing someone could do to him. And it all felt worse when he realized a hand had grabbed his dick, and stroked it fastly. His head was spinning in the forced arousal this gave him, he couldn’t be enjoying this, so why was his body? Soon, Ukyou stilled, and a hot, uncomfortable liquid spilled inside the invaded boy. Soon, that same liquid came out of his own dick, and Ukyou finally pulled out. After it was over. His mind dozed off, and when he awoke he was alone in the dark, his wounds were treated and he had clothes on. Still tied up, he started to process what happened.

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That night he felt like his humanity was taken away, he was dirty. What had happened wasn’t love, sex, or anything that was supposed to be good. What happened wasn’t supposed to happen, he was supposed to be sleeping at home, after eating dinner with his uncle. He was supposed to have come back from school, after hanging out with his friends. Now one of them was dead, the other had kidnapped and raped him.

How was any of that love?

What was happening here was that Ukyou was eating him alive, stripping him of his humanity, from his real self.

And of course, it was all just the beginning.

Every day, a small bit of himself was eaten, lungs, heart, muscles, skin… He was slowly starting to feel less like himself. Every day he was once again hurt, sometimes even raped. Until it was all part of the routine.

He soon realized that the reason why he couldn’t see with one eye, or feel one of his fingers, was because Ukyou cut them off his body. It was disgusting, he apparently was keeping his eye in a drawer of his room, like a charm. He refused to tell where his finger was, but it was his right pinky. By the time he had found out, the wounds it had left had already healed. Having an eye less was weird. But, at the point he was at, it was only a matter of time until he accepted it.

Maybe obeying the monster would be better for him, maybe he’d slowly break free.

But, a part of him was afraid he would never be free, as the monster slowly ate him. He wasn’t going to stop any time soon.

Chapter Text

Months sometimes seem like seconds when you’re having a nice time, but when you’re suffering and your routine is so despairingly the same torture over and over again, it seems like centuries. Getting used to something you’re not even supposed to experience is painful, you slowly forget what real life feels like.

Nozomi was forgetting what the sun looked like, what everyone else looked and sounded like, what it felt like to go for a walk at the park, or play video games. His time was forcefully 100% dedicated to Ukyou. He could feel himself lighter, unsure of whether it was due to the fact that he was being eaten alive or due to not being fed as much.

His days went painfully slow. He woke up to being fed toast and drinking orange juice by his “loving boyfriend”, then they’d shower together, one of the only times he saw decent light in the day. Kisses, kisses, knives and hitting would be next on the menu, until it was lunch time. Then maybe he’d be eaten by the purple haired boy until dinner, and then once again until he passes out. That was his every day, and the guilt of getting used to it was also eating him alive.

At this rate, not even his bones will be left.

Sometimes, Ukyou went to the store, or to other activities. Whenever he was left alone he’d think of a way to escape, always being too scared of possible outcomes to actually doing it. The clock ticked slowly, and when he was alone he’d cherish those moments, for they wouldn’t last long.

This time, Ukyou had gone to buy some things he wasn’t exactly interested on to actually listen, but what mattered was that Ukyou would be away for an hour or two. More than enough time to stop being a pussy and finally get out of that hellhole, he hopes. Of course, he was tied up, but recently he had noticed that there was a knife under his bed, it wasn’t exactly a big or extremely sharp one, but he assumed it was from the first meal Ukyou tried to give him, which had fallen to the floor. Maybe the purplenette had forgotten to check under the bed? What a miracle! He was laying on the bed, tied up, so it wouldn’t be too difficult to try to get the knife.

He had already waited 10 minutes in case Ukyou came home to get something he had forgotten, which was miraculously not the case. So, he rolled to the edge of the bed and fell with a loud thud, groaning from the pain. He was sure he hit some bruises against the floor by accident, and it sure hurt. He tried turning so that his legs would be under the bed, and wiggled to get further under the bed. Soon, his foot touched the metal blade of the knife, thankfully not cutting, so he quickly grabbed the base of the knife with his feet and wiggled back out the bed, and sat up. He left the knife on the floor and turned around, to pick it up clumsily with his hands (that were tied to his back).

He was beaming, his plan was going perfectly, he looked at the time on the old clock on the wall outside the cage, and it had only been 20 minutes. He enthusiastically tried to cut the rope that was keeping his wrists from moving decently, and it worked. From there, he continued to destroy the rope until he was free from it. Holding onto the knife, he stood up shakily, his body hurt a lot, but the adrenaline to escape was (by far) much stronger. He ran towards the door, and directed the knife towards the many locks, hitting with force against them until they broke. He was being loud but it didn’t matter, no one was there. The locks were useless, and the rusty door swung open. He was barely believing this, being only a few steps away from freedom? It was all he wanted right then.

One step…

Another step…

He was out of the cage.

He ran towards the stairs leading to the first floor of the house, and of course it was locked. He tried the same technique he used on the locks, being successful. The bluenette opened the door, and the rays of the sun greeted his eyes. It had been 40 minutes since Ukyou left. The front door was a few steps ahead. Each step felt lighter, as he approached what (to him) were the gates of heaven.

Until he heard the sound of rattling keys.

Shit.

Fucking SHIT.

He was only 3 steps ahead of freedom, and Ukyou was opening the door. Now, he was 3 steps ahead from the devil. He froze, tearing up and holding onto the knife for dear life.

And the door opened.

The purplenette had entered the house and locked the door (it looked like an automatic thing, he was totally unfocused) and once he faced Nozomi he realized what had happened: the bluenette escaped. Well, attempted to, but he still escaped the ropes, the cage and the basement. And he had a knife.

“Wh- How did you- Ohh you’re NOT escaping this.” The shorter male jumped towards him, and they both fell to the floor. Ukyou was on top of him, but he had a weapon. It was one tiny aspect that changed who had power in this situation, and the sweet, sweet smell of revenge was tempting. All it took was a quick stab in the purple eyed boy’s arm. The boy ached and grunted, and was quickly pushed to the side by his prisoner, who stood up and ran at full speed towards the door.

Trying to break the lock, Nozomi was so concentrated and desperate he barely heard his captor standing up and running towards the kitchen. But it all didn’t matter anymore, he was going to escape, no matter what it took.

Well, that was until he felt an arm against his neck, choking him violently and making him let go of his weapon. A hand grabbed his own hands, and kept them unable to move. It all happened too fast, and still he struggled to break free, until he felt a sharp pain on his shoulder. Ukyou had stabbed him.

It hurt, the pain was sharp and despairing. He was quickly pushed to the floor, feeling even more pain as he felt a fist punch his face mercilessly over and over again. It was unbearable, he was bleeding out from his shoulder, nose and mouth. It was obvious he would’ve passed out due to the constant pain and blood loss, but it still felt so alien-like when consciousness slipped away from him, even if it had happened before. Maybe it was because he was so close to being free.

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He slowly opened his eyes, he was once again in the basement, it seemed. He was back in that bed, he was tied up once again, and his shoulder was in so much pain… What had even happened again? Oh, right, ‘the biggest troll the universe pulled on him’, he thought for a second. Of course, he brushed away the thought immediately, he shouldn’t even think of joking about his misery!

He quickly noticed that he was tucked in the bed, just like a child, and that there were more pillows. Was this an attempt by Ukyou to keep him more comfortable so that he wouldn’t leave? Pathetic. He felt a hand rest on his hair, petting him as if he were a tiny, fragile kitten. He tried to turn around a little, and he saw Ukyou. The purplenette had a soft gaze, and he was smiling.

“Huh..?” was all that he could mutter. Ukyou giggled.

“Don’t think I’m not mad at you, my beloved. But~, I must admit I might’ve messed up a lil’ on how I’ve been treating you. You’re my boyfriend after all, I can’t allow myself to have you in such poor conditions, so~... I promise I’ll try my very, very, very best to improve my ‘hospitality’, nishishi!!” Ukyou explained, as he got a candy bar from the drawer nearby and opened it, approaching it to Nozomi’s mouth. “Open up, my dear!”

And so, he let himself be ‘loved’.

To be more specific, he submitted to Ukyou, in order to survive for at least a while. He acted less rude, he initiated kisses (even if it made him feel sick in the stomach every single time), he did everything to make Ukyou happy. And it worked, very well. He was still locked in the basement, and Ukyou still ate him alive quite often, and he was still miserable. But his situation improved (physically, at least).

He was still afraid that one day his feelings, thoughts and individuality would be torn apart and knit together into whatever that monster wanted.

He felt himself trapped in a spider’s web…

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“Sweetie~! I'm going on a vacation, I left a looot of food for you, don't worry! Be good~”