Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

November 21st - Friday:

Entry One - Love Police - F3nn3k0, Chu☆noda, Haida94

- 07:04 -

F3nn3k0 created a group chat

F3nn3k0 named the group chat 'Opereration Haidako'

Chu☆noda named the group chat 'Love Police'

F3nn3k0: tsunoda

F3nn3k0: how are you awake this early?

F3nn3k0: such a small girl shouldn't be able to hold so much beer

Chu☆noda: Bad things can happen if you get too drunk, you know~!

Chu☆noda: If I said anything rude on accident... Like to a boss... Hehe ^^; That wouldn't be good

Chu☆noda: Sooo I have to be good at holding my beer!!

F3nn3k0: ull do that much to suck up to people..?

Chu☆noda: Don't say it like its a bad thing, Fenneko.. 

F3nn3k0: whatever

F3nn3k0: haida, get in here

F3nn3k0: i know ur online rn... I can see u liking retsuko's posts

F3nn3k0: oh, and ōkami's too? what a scandal

Chu☆noda: Lol, he has one of those man-crush things?

F3nn3ko: lolol mancrush

Haida94: What?

F3nn3k0: uwaaaii, he appeared!

F3nn3k0: (=^ェ^=)

Haida94: Why am i in this thibg

Chu☆noda: Typo :)

Haida94: I know, Tsunoda ^^;

Haida94: My head is kulling me ˊᗣˋ

Haida94: Which one of you let ne drink so much last night

Chu☆noda: Omg,, typos...

Haida94: I know.........

F3nn3k0: actually, your killer hangover is exactly what brought us here

F3nn3k0: last night you reached a new low

Chu☆noda: Seriously. Even I couldn't pretend to find that cool...

F3nn3k0: u were, like. super effing lame

Chu☆noda: Yeah. Pitiful, even.

Haida94: Alright, if u made this to bully me, fenneko does that eniugh at work

Chu☆noda: You have a typo, Haida ^^

Haida94: And you.. shoukd I block yiu or sokething??

F3nn3k0: hold on, I still have the video somewhere I think

Chu☆noda: You're gonna freak lolol you looked sooo dumb

Chu☆noda: Almost a lost cause

Chu☆noda: Almost. >౪<っ☆

F3nn3k0 sent an video

Chu☆noda: Oh my gosh, you got the crying bit too, hehehe

Chu☆noda: How embaressing...

F3nn3k0: this is field research

F3nn3k0: into the scientific study of desperate men

Haida94: guys...

Haida94: GUYS

Haida94: YOU HAVE TO DELETE THIS RN

F3nn3k0: lol, so he watched it

Haida94: IM NOT FUCKING AROUND, DELET OT!!!

Chu☆noda: Delete your typos!

Chu☆noda: Lol, told you he was gonna flip

F3nn3k0: lolololol hes so mad even tho he was sobbing just last night lol

Haida94: STOP IT

Haida94: Uuuuuuughhhjj what was I even doing

Haida94: Just delete it.

Haida94: Please

Haida94: I'll do anything

F3nn3k0: lol i have to get ready for work. Tsunoda, see what u can do

Chu☆noda: Got it

Chu☆noda: So,

Chu☆noda: Anything, you say? >ᗜ0

Chu☆noda: Fine, then. You'll happily agree to co-operate in our plan!

Haida94: Wait, whwt plan?

Haida94: This is probably like emotiomal blackmail orobaly yoy know

Chu☆noda: If only I could understand a word you say~

Chu☆noda: If you never wanna look like that sad pathetic man again

Haida94: Tsunoda.

Chu☆noda: Then all you have to do is listen to us. Cause we're gonna help you and Retsy get together~~!

Haida94: Hah...

Haida94: I should have known thags what this is about

Haida94: So what if I cried about how much I like her or something?

Haida94: I wasjust drunk, thags all... Don't be such a meddler

Chu☆noda: Kabae is the meddler. I'm a strategic and cute Police Officer well-versed in the art of love ;9

Haida94: Tsunoda, ur..

Haida94: A damn suckup! That's it!

Chu☆noda: That just means everyone loves me.

Haida94: -_-

Chu☆noda: Anyway, soon, you can understand a bit of that. Because Retsuko does have it in her heart to love you, I just know it! >;9

Haida94: Hm. Did you see that video? I'm not much to love

Chu☆noda: Not right now, no

Chu☆noda: But Fenneko and I

Chu☆noda: Are very skilled~

Haida94: I'm gonna get dressed

Chu☆noda: Okay well wear nice cologne if you have it and maybe don't do that thing you always do with your

Chu☆noda: He left while I was typing...

- 07:16 -


Entry Two - Private Message - Haida94, Retsuko1103

- 09:40 -

Haida94: Hey, are you feeling alright?

Haida94: Director Ton is gonna start asking after you soon, aha ^^;

Haida94: I have hangover cure in my bag so don't worry about bringing it! ^^

Haida94: Well, just let me know if you're alright -‿-

- 09:55 -

Retsuko1106: Oh my god!

Retsuko1106: Sorry I didn't see your messages! I suuuper overslept!!

Haida94: Haha, u did? I guess I wasn't the only one who had a rough night... ah...

Retsuko1106: Oh you did? Sorry to hear that (｡•́︿•̀｡)

Haida94: Do you want me to tell Director Ton you're on yoir way?

Haida94: *your

Retsuko1106: Yes please! Tell him I'll be thirty minutes at most!

Haida94: Will do~

- 10:00 -


Entry Three - Private Message - F3nn3k0, Haida94

- 12:09 -

F3nn3k0: hey dumbass

F3nn3k0: r u gonna ask her or sit and stare like an idiot?

Haida94: why r u textjng me under the table

F3nn3k0: so retsuko wont see, duh

Haida94: What is it •^•

F3nn3k0: hey,,

F3nn3k0: ascii is my thing (≈`˛ ´≈ з)

F3nn3k0: ask her why she was late!! ask her if shes sleeping okay, if she needs anything, etc etc

F3nn3k0: its amazing you've made any moves on her by urself, honestly

Haida94: Theyre not good for much so I'd rather not say anything

Haida94: HEY DONT KICK ME

Haida94: W ur tiny legs, moron..

F3nn3k0: ASK HER!!!

Haida94: Eugh, its scary when you use caps...

- 12:13 -

Entry Four - Private Message - F3nnek0, Retsuko1106

- 19:44 -

F3nn3k0: r u sure, abt what u said at lunch?

Retsuko1106: Hm?

F3nn3k0: that u overlept cause ur alarm broke?

F3nn3k0: it wasnt anything else?

Retsuko1106: Oh, haha, yeah! Sorry, that might  have sounded lazy, huh?

Retsuko1106: I should wake up on time even without an alarm clock ^^;

F3nn3k0: jeez, only u could react that way...

F3nn3k0: as long as ur okay :3

F3nn3k0: it was nice of haida to ask tho right?

Retsuko1106: I guess it was! ^^ You asked too, so thank you!

F3nn3k0: you know,

F3nn3k0: i heard haida makes rlly good tea

F3nn3k0: like the type that can help u sleep

F3nn3k0: i used to chug tea to help u concentrate in college

F3n3nk0: but it was so warm I'd fall right asleep right away anyway......

F3nn3k0: maybe u should ask him for some

Retsuko1106: Huh, I never knew he was into that!

F3nn3k0: think abt it okay ~~

Retsuko1106: Haha

- 19:59 -

Entry Five - Love Police - F3nn3k0, Haida94, Chu☆noda

- 20:08 -

F3nn3k0: haida

F3nn3k0: haida

F3nn3k0: haidaaaaa

F3nn3k0: ugh, again, I can see you liking posts!!

F3nn3k0: this time it's

F3nn3k0: Tadano's..?

F3nn3k0: lol, fanboy

F3nn3k0: @haida94

Haida94: What.

F3nn3k0: lul u sound mad

Haida94: I am mad

Haida94: Its late what do u eant

F3nn3k0: its eight pm, u baby

Haida94: i have stuff to do

F3nn3k0: well cancel that stuff

F3nn3k0: u have to learn how to make tea

Haida94: Wtf

Chu☆noda: Loool he's so mad~

Chu☆noda: Bet he's angry he's gonna miss Tadano's interview, that fanboy~

Haida94: Can it, Tsunoda

F3nn3k0: ah, tsunoda

F3nn3k0: r u perhaps an undiscovered genuis?

Chu☆noda: Oh, you flatter me~

F3nn3k0: HEY, don't go back to liking Tadano's posts!

F3nn3k0: haida!

Chu☆noda: Why does he need to learn how to brew tea?

F3nn3k0: make, not brew. he has to make a blend for retsuko

Haida94: I dont know anything about tea!

Haida94: I'm more of a coffee guy to be hinest

F3nn3k0: well rn ur a no-girlfriend having guy, so you'll listen when we try and help u okaaay?

Chu☆noda: I took a tea blend course once!

F3nn3k0: u did?

Haida94: You did?

Chu☆noda: Yah, the instructor was cute

Chu☆noda: but then he gave me a bouquet of tea leaves one day

Haida94: Oh.. isnt tjat kinda...

Chu☆noda: And it smelt really bad and really strong and then I left it by my curling iron and it caught on fire suuper big and the fire truck had to come to my house ^^

F3nn3k0: woah... thats...

Chu☆noda: Buuut it was okay bcos the fireman was cute ;9

Haida94: Ur really something....

Chu☆noda: U think so? Thaaanks ☆☆

Haida94: It wasn't.. really a compliment -_-

F3nn3k0: anyway, tsunoda

F3nn3k0: ur first act as love police officer is to teach haida how to make a tea blend!

Haida94: Like I have time for that! Don't I get a say in this?

Chu☆noda: What day are you free?

F3nn3k0: all of them. Does he look like he has hobbies?

Haida94: I have hobbies!!

F3nn3k0: reading dirty magazines and being a fanboy, maybe

Chu☆noda: I probably know someone w limited edition Tadano merch

Chu☆noda: I'm a pro in the online celeb scene ;>

F3nn3k0: lolol, a bribe

Haida94: Huh, what are you sayung?

Chu☆noda: If u let me come over, I'll find u some Tadano stuff ♡

Haida94: ... what kinda stuff?

Chu☆noda: Exclusive press conference interviews, photo albums, meet and greet tickets for upcoming panels and talks...

Haida94: Wait

Haida94: Really???

Haida94: Seriously, you two..

F3nnek0: lolol, he's listening now

Chu☆noda: I might even be able to find u a pair of Tadano's underwear up for auction! ☆

F3nn3k0: lololololol

Chu☆noda: Aaand he's gone

- 20:24 -

Chapter Text

November 22nd - Saturday:

Entry Six - Private Message - Chu☆noda, Haida94

- 09:07 -

Chu☆noda: What time are you free Haidaaaa

Haida94: Why is ur accounr so repetetive lol

Chu☆noda: It's cute.

Haida94: So much latte art lol...

Haida94: So this is what girls consider 'cute'?

Chu☆noda: Stop instastalking me

Chu☆noda: This wasn't made for u anyway

Chu☆noda: It was made for attractive guys w loads of money

Haida94: Who said I didn't have any money!!

Chu☆noda: Man, how low's ur self esteem that that's the part that offends you....

Chu☆noda: Anyway, what time are you free?

Haida94: What, today?

Chu☆noda: Yah~

Haida94: Can't we do it tomorrow or something? Won't I need to buy the tea?

Chu☆noda: I can't tommorrow, I have a date with a talent agency scout

Haida94: But I'm not orepared :/

Chu☆noda: It's okay I'll bring the stuff~! ☆ Thank me later

Haida94: Mm

Chu☆noda: And if ur so rich thank me with cash~

- 09:17 -

Entry Seven - Love Police - F3nn3k0, Chu☆noda, Haida94

- 12:05 -

Chu☆noda: I'm here with the stuff! ;3

Chu☆noda sent a photo

Haida94: Hey,, you sh9udknt post pictures of other people without their permission you know..

Chu☆noda: Are you mad you don't look very good in it?

Haida94: HEY

F3nn3k0: He's not disagreeing lol

Chu☆noda: Ah, welcome!

Chu☆noda: You came to recieve status updates, right?

F3nn3k0: exactly =ꈊ=

Haida94: You know, you two are really weird about this sometimes...

Haida94: Why help me anyway?

Chu☆noda: thats because...

F3nn3k0: seeing you grovel like that is totally embaressing lol

F3nn3k0: even tsunoda feels bad for u lol

Chu☆noda: Yah

Haida94: Very supportive, thanj you -_-

Chu☆noda: Anyway, we have all the ingredients! I'm showing him the pamphlet now ☆

F3nn3k0: oh, yah?

Chu☆noda: ...

Chu☆noda: He keeps saying he doesn't understand

Haida94: Don't listen to what she says behind my back

Haida94: Fennek&÷,9

F3nn3k0: ?

Chu☆noda: Anyway, now he's done wasting timebtb

Chu☆noda: qhbbt r

Chu☆noda: wbr

F3nn3k0: lol, u sure those leaves were tea and not something else?

Chu☆noda: SHE TOOK MY PHONE AWAY!!

Chu☆noda: FNENEKO O

Chu☆noda: Sorry, that was Haida

F3nn3k0: i figured

Chu☆noda: I sent him to sort the leaves

Chu☆noda: I don't remember everything, but I bought the ones I thought looked best

Chu☆noda: I do remember liking some of them, at least

F3nn3k0: im wondering what other hidden skills u have lul

Chu☆noda: It'll be much cuter if I reveal them slowly >///<

Chu☆noda: A surprise every now and then lifts people's spirits!

F3nn3k0: lololol

F3nn3k0: How is the tea going?

Chu☆noda: He's doing it

Chu☆noda: Though he looks a little clueless...

Chu☆noda sent a photo

F3nn3k0: tsunoda.......

Chu☆noda: Yeah?

F3nn3k0: is the stove on?

- 12:47 -

Entry Eight - Gori's Club - G♡RI, Washimi, Retsuko1106

- 13:19 -

Washimi: Retsuko,

Washimi: You looked a little tired the other day.

Washimi: Are you alright?

G♡RI: I wanted to ask the same thing! (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

G♡RI: It's no good if you're not getting enough sleep!!!

Retsuko1106: Ehe, it's nothing like that!

Retsuko1106: I guess, lately I've just been a little tired

G♡RI: SO YOU AREN'T SLEEPING WELL!?

G♡RI: I KNEW IT! HA!

G♡RI sent a photo

G♡RI: I FOUND THIS SUPERB SLEEP CLINIC LAST WEEK! WASHIMI HAS BEEN, RIGHT WASHIMI?

Washimi: Sometimes, Gori, I feel as if I can hear you shouting even through text...

Retsuko1106: That'll be the caps lock, won't it? ^^;

Retsuko1106: Thank you, Gori, but that isn't what I meant ^^

Retsuko1106: I don't need to sleep, per say

Retsuko1106: I'm just tired.

Retsuko1106: Ah, sorry if I worried you! ๑´╹‸╹`๑

Washimi: We're your friends, we're bound to worry.

Washimi: Gori's heart is in the right place, at least. If something's wrong, we want to hear you out.

G♡RI: EXACTLY! Are you eating enough? Excersizing? I found this great Gym too, let me find the picture

Washimi: Gori,

Washimi: Let's let Retsuko tell us, hm?

Retsuko1106: Well, I guess

Retsuko1106: I must still be sad over what happened with Tadano ^^;;

Retsuko1106: I know that's really pathetic ╥﹏╥

Washimi: It isn't 'pathetic' to be upset at losing someone.

Washimi: It is a part of life.

G♡RI: Washimi,

G♡RI: WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?

G♡RI: How long has it been? Six months? MORE? And you're STILL having trouble moving on? We all know how Washimi feels about relationships, but she's just too cold to understand how important a woman's comeback era can be!!

Retsuko1106: Well... I guess ^^

Retsuko1106: That is sort of how I feel

Retsuko1106: I feel like,

Retsuko1106: I just don't have anything driving me forward anymore

Retsuko1106: Does that make sense? ^^;

Retsuko1106: It's like there's something I'm meant to be doing, but...

Washimi: Retsuko...

Retsuko1106: I'm not doing it. I can't move. It's like I'm stuck.

Retsuko1106: And so I've been feeling a bit worn out, I suppose.

Retsuko1106: Hah... Sorry. That was kind of a lot wasn't it!

G♡RI: Retsuko...

G♡RI: I FEEL YOUUUU

G♡RI: THE FEELING THAT LIFE IS SLIPPING YOU BY, THAT THERE ARE THINGS YOU'RE MEANT TO BE DOING BUT AREN'T

Washimi: I certainly understand what you mean. Sitting on your feelings until you're immobilized...

G♡RI: ITS JUST SO SAD, US WOMEN WILING OUR LIVES AWAY WITHOUR LOOOVEEE
o╮༼;´༎ຶ..̸̸̨̨ ༎ຶ༽╭o

Washimi: Gori, don't yell so much.

Washimi: And what's with that strange icon..?

Washimi: Honestly...

Retsuko1106: Haha, it's okay. I'm glad you two understand me

G♡RI: I won't stand for this.

G♡RI named the chat 'Gori's Marriage Councelling'

Retsuko1106: That's!

Washimi: That's the name of your app, isn't it?

Washimi: Just what are you playing at?

G♡RI: You two...

G♡RI: Just became official candidates for my matchmaking prowess!!!

Washimi: Gori, hang on a minute

Retsuko1106: Yeah. I appreciate your sympathy but this is a bit...

Washimi: Just when did I become a part of this!?

- 13:38 -

Entry Nine - Private Message - Haida94, Retsuko1106

- 16:58 -

Haida94: Hey

Haida94: Did you see that Tadano guy was on TV last night?

Retsuko1106: Oh, haha, not really. I don't keeo up with him all that much anymore...

Retsuko1106: But I take it you're still a fan?

Haida94: What? No! That's not what I'm saying, not exactly...

Haida94: I admire him, surw. But mainly, i wanyed to ask

Haida94: How you felt about that.

Haida94: Sorry about my typos ˊ . ˋە

Retsuko1106: Haha, it's okay.

Retsuko1106: I feel fine.

Retsuko1106: I probably feel the way people should after a breakup

Retsuko1106: Even if I've been feeling that way for a while ^^;

Haida94: Retsuko

Retsuko1106: Yeah?

Haida94: I don't think

Haida94: That guy was right for you at all

Retsuko1106: Haha. I guess you're right...

Retsuko1106: We didn't want the same thing at all.

Retsuko1106: But I guess that's life, isn't it?

Haida94: Its not just that

Haida94: I think

Haida94: He was too good for you

Retsuko1106: Uh...

Haida94: WAKT

Haida94: NOT LIKE THAT

Haida94: I just mwant that Tadano is like super rich and powerful,

Haida94: I mean hes allmost untoucgable

Haida94: He feels so far away abive the clouds, so unreal, its like...

Haida94: How could you ever hope to share a goal with someone like that?

Haida94: Ahaha.... I... Spoke a bit out of turn there, didn't I?

Haida94: Sorry

Retsuko1106: It's alright

Retsuko1106: I understand what you said, but

Retsuko1106: I disagree.

- 19:17 -

Entry Ten - Gori's Marriage Councelling - G♡RI, Washimi, Retsuko1106

G♡RI: Everyone

G♡RI: This is a major announcement.

Washimi: Oh dear...

Washimi: This isn't like the time you called us all here for the 'Major Announcement' that the President's son was now officially single, is it?

Retsuko1106: Chararyman's President has a son? I never knew...

Washimi: Not our President, Retsuko...

Washimi: The President of Japan.

Retsuko1106: ...........

Retsuko1106: ^^;

Retsuko1106: Now I'm also starting to hope this announcement isn't like that

G♡RI: It's not!

G♡RI: And even if it were what's the harm in a woman having dreams?

G♡RI: Dreams are tbe exact thing Retsuko is lacking right now! Shame on you, Washimi, for discouraging her

Washimi: It is good to have dreams, Gori.

Washimi: But I cannot excuse insanity.

G♡RI: IT WASN'T THAT FAR-FETCHED!!

Washimi: It was the President's son!

G♡RI: If you think I'm so unnatractive you can say that.

Washimi: You know I don't think that at all.

Retsuko1106: Oh uhm...

Washimi: Anyway, what do you have to say?

G♡RI: Well, it's regarding finding Retsuko a boyfriend

Retsuko1106: My apprehension has returned, somehow...

Washimi: It's Gori we're talking about; I wonder why it ever left.

G♡RI: I was thinking

G♡RI: Retsuko, you said feel trapped in one place, unable to move...

G♡RI: What you need... Is an escape

Washimi: Oh, that reminds me, we haven't been to Karaoke in a while

Retsuko1106: Oh yeah! I should make a note c:

G♡RI: Listen to me! I'm trying to propose my epic love plot here!

Washimi: 'Plot' doesn't have very nice connotations.

Retsuko1106: Why do I get the feeling Gori enjoys this whether it works out for me or not ^^; haha...

Washimi: That would be because it's true.

G♡RI: YOU GUYS.

G♡RI: LISTEN.

Washimi: We're listening.

G♡RI: You feel trapped...

G♡RI: What you need is an escape...

G♡RI: Well those were the exact words I saw on the advert for an escape room the other day!

Retsuko1106: I... I'm not sure I follow...

Washimi: Nor do I.

Washimi: Are you seriously implying Retsuko find her ideal partner in an escape room? One being advertised on whatever corner of the internet you frequent, no less.

G♡RI: My search history is squeaky clean, thank you!

Washimi: Yes... And that's precisely how we both fell ill after you bought us matching mood bracelets off a bank-end online store.

G♡RI: HOW WAS I TO KNOW THEY WERE MADE OF MURCURY????

G♡RI: But think about it...

G♡RI: You're trapped in a room with a stranger, and your only hope of escape is to trust in each other entirely...

G♡RI: As the clock ticks down, you have to act rashly... No time for hesitation!

G♡RI: IT'S THE PERFECT PLACE FOR LOVE TO BURST FORTH!!!

Washimi: It's the perfect place to be harassed too, I'd bet...

G♡RI: They have cameras in there so no way.

Retsuko1106: Aha... Guys ^^;

Retsuko1106: That sounds... Interesting, but...

Washimi: It's completely ridiculous.

G♡RI: What do you mean ridiculous? You never want to do anything fun

Washimi: Excuse me? I'm the one who organised our trip to Hokkaido last month? How on Earth was that not fun?

Retsuko1106: Guys..?

G♡RI: Well, it's hard to call it fun when you spend the whole time sipping wine and acting like a grandma

Washimi: I am sorry I didn't want to ride a pedalboat with you on the lake near the hotel, Gori.

Washimi: But I don't behave like I'm five.

G♡RI: SEE? YOU'RE SO BORING SOMETIMES!!!

Washimi: You may call me boring. But at least I'm efficient.

G♡RI: HAH. WELL THEN.

Washimi: ...

Retsuko1106: Looks like she logged out... ^^;

Washimi: Well

Washimi: I know her private number

Retsuko1106: Aha...

Retsuko1106: And now you're gone too.. ㅠㅠ