Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

***

Follow me on Tumblr: Sometimes, Wish I'd Never Been Born At All on Tumblr.

Chapter Text

***

Follow me on Tumblr: Sometimes, Wish I'd Never Been Born At All on Tumblr.

Chapter Text

***

Follow me on Tumblr: Sometimes, Wish I'd Never Been Born At All on Tumblr.

Chapter Text

***

Follow me on Tumblr: Sometimes, Wish I'd Never Been Born At All on Tumblr.

Chapter Text

***

Follow me on Tumblr: Sometimes, Wish I'd Never Been Born At All on Tumblr.

Chapter Text

A word in your ear

From father to son

Hear the word that I say

I fought with you

Fought on your side

Long before you were born

Joyful the sound

The word goes around

From father to son to son

— “Father to Son” by Queen

“John, I’m not sure about this,” Freddie said, checking his phone again. He bit his lip when once again there were no messages. 

“Fred, I’m not letting you get out of this,” John said grabbing Freddie’s phone. 

“Hey, give that back!” Freddie demanded. 

John shook his head. “Fred, he’s fine. He’s with your mum.”

 “But—” Freddie tried to protest. 

“No, buts,” John said, stuffing Freddie’s phone in his pocket. “You’re the most dedicated father I’ve ever seen, and that’s amazing. But you’ve got to give yourself a break now and then. It doesn’t mean that you love Rami any less. It just means you’re allowed to have some fun.”

Freddie sighed. Logically, he knew that, but he still just wanted to go home to his baby. “I doubt I’m as good a father as you.”

John beamed. “I’m lucky. I’ve got Bri.”

Somehow, Freddie managed to smile through the pain.  

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” Roger sighed. “I’m doing all I can, but I just keep fucking up.”

“You’re not,” Brian said. “It’s just hard is all. And you’re doing it all on your own.”

Roger wiped his eyes. He didn’t want to be like his father… “Where’s John tonight?”

Brian’s face colored like a sunset. “He’s out with a friend. He’s been working so hard he really needed a break. ” 

“How bout the kids?” Roger asked. 

“All Joey wants to do is build with Daddy.” Brian showed him a picture of Joey wearing John’s goggles. “Meanwhile, we can’t get Gwil’s nose out of a book.”

“That’s Ben with hot wheels.” Roger chuckled. He wished he had more in common with his son. He was so jealous of Brian and John. 

“Oh, they’re awful!” Freddie giggled, before taking another sip from his Long Island iced tea. He adored karaoke, and there wasn't a better pub than Vocality, but tonight, the opening acts had been rubbish. 

“You should go on next!” John exclaimed. 

“What!” Freddie yelled over the music. 

“C’mon, you love singing, and you’ve got such a great voice!” John grinned. 

“The music’s shit,” Roger complained, taking another swig of his lager. 

“Go on next then,” Brian suggested. “Show em what a real musician can do.”

John had dragged Freddie over to the stage before ditching him for the loo. 

“I gotta take a leak,” Brian said. “But you should head up.”

Roger shrugged. Why the hell not ?

John grinned cheekily as Brian met up with him in the loo. “How’s it going?”

“Exactly, as you said it would,” Brian said, kissing the corner of his husband’s mouth. 

“God, I hope this works,” John said, a hint of doubt creeping into his voice. He didn’t usually meddle, but he couldn’t take Freddie’s loneliness any longer. 

“It’s up to them now,” Brian said. 

“Who’s next?” The DJ asked. 

“Me,” Freddie and Roger said simultaneously. They looked at each other. 

“Oh, you go first, darling,” Freddie said. 

Roger grinned. “I wouldn’t mind sharing the stage with a pretty thing like you.”

Freddie blushed. 

“What song?” The DJ asked. 

“Up to him,” Roger said, dragging his gaze up and down Freddie’s body. 

“‘Somebody to Love.’” Freddie’s mind had drawn a blank under the Alpha’s intense stare, so he answered with his favorite song. On stage, he didn’t see the small crowd of drunks, washouts, or wannabe musicians, only blue eyes. 

The music wrapped around him like a soft embrace. 

Freddie began to sing,

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little

Can barely stand on my feet

(Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry (and cry)

Lord, what you’re doing to me? (Yeah, yeah)

I have spent all my years in believing you

But I just can’t get no relief, Lord

Somebody (somebody), ooh, somebody (somebody)

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Roger had never seen anything more fucking beautiful. 

I work hard (he works hard) every day of my life

I work ‘til I ache my bones

At the end (at the end of the day)

I take home my hard-earned pay (goes home)

All on my own (goes home on his own)

I get down (down) on my knees (knees)

And I start to pray (praise the Lord)

‘Til the tears run down from my eyes

Lord, somebody (somebody), ooh, somebody

(Please) can anybody find me, somebody, to love?

Freddie and Roger were all but forgotten in Brian and John’s minds as they moved against each other, groaning and panting.

The line to the loo was exceptionally long. 

After the song came to its close, Freddie tried to find John, but with no luck. Instead, he found him . 

“You were bloody brilliant up there,” Roger said. 

“I was fabulous!” Freddie corrected. “And you weren’t half bad.”

Roger laughed. “I'm Roger. Lemme buy you a drink.”

“Freddie. And I doubt you can keep up.” Freddie smirked. 

One drink led to another, and another, and maybe another…

“You wanna get out of here?” Roger asked. 

“More than anything.” Freddie put his hand in Roger’s and allowed him to take him away. For one night, he wanted to be selfish. Tomorrow, he’d make himself so small, he’d never need or want anything else ever again. 

Roger held himself over Freddie, entranced by the exotic dark-haired beauty underneath him. His calloused hands gripped his slip waist. Nipping the curve of his neck, he reveled in the breathy mewls that escaped him. 

Freddie arched against his hardness, wanton in his desire

Their bodies fitted together as if they were one soul finally united. Maybe, for one night, they didn’t have to be so alone.

***

Follow me on Tumblr: Sometimes, Wish I'd Never Been Born At All on Tumblr.

Chapter Text

And the voice is so clear

Time after time it keeps

Calling you, calling you on

Don't destroy what you see

Your country to be

Just keep building on the ground

That's been won

Kings will be crowned

And the word goes around

From father to son to son

Won't you hear us sing

Our family song?

Now we hand it on

— “Father to Son” by Queen

Freddie couldn’t help but take one more moment of selfishness to bask in the sun’s glow. Roger’s hair was golden in the morning light, absolutely lovely. Softly, he kissed Roger’s forehead and slipped out of bed. A small heedless part of him wanted to stay— 

But that wasn’t real life. 

He hadn’t been paying close attention the night before, and he was surprised to find he was just across the street from his flat. Crossing the road, he pushed thoughts away of trying to see Roger again. He unlocked the door and closed it behind him. He dialed his mother’s phone.

“Farrokh!” Jer’s smile could be heard over the phone.

“Mama,” Freddie sighed with relief. “How’s Rami?”

“He’s just darling,” Jer assured him. “We had a grand ole time. And you?”

“Oh, it was alright,” Freddie said. “I’ll be over soon.”

Roger should have been used to waking up alone, but breathing in the faint scent of cinnamon and spice, he couldn’t help wishing he’d woken up with Freddie still in his arms. He’d just poured a cuppa tea when his mum arrived with Ben in her arms. 

“I’m sorry, darling, but I’ve got to get going.” His mum kissed his cheek and ruffled Ben’s blond locks. 

The little boy crossed his arms and huffed. 

“Cereal?” Roger asked. 

Ben shrugged. 

Sighing, Roger poured some cereal for both of them. “Did you have fun with Grandma?”

“Yeah,” Ben said softly. He was such a withdrawn kid, and Roger was still trying to figure out who he was. 

He wished things had been different and that his ex hadn’t shown up on his doorstep with a terminal diagnosis and a kid. It’s not that he didn’t want the kid; he just wished he’d had the chance to get to know his kid. He should have been there from the start, not just for the grief.  

Jer was feeding Rami eggs, curry, and mango by the time Freddie got there. 

His sticky face brightened as he spotted Freddie. 

“Oh, my priyatam,” Freddie murmured. He hugged his baby tightly, never wanting to leave him again. 

“Eat, Farrokh, you’re much too skinny.” Jer placed a plate before him. 

“Thank you, Mama,” Freddie said. He picked at his food, unable to get Paul’s voice out of his head. He tried not to think of Paul, but Rami made that difficult. 

Rami was a constant reminder of Paul, but thankfully, he didn’t share any of his biological father’s features. He was all Freddie. But sometimes, Freddie couldn’t help remembering that he wouldn’t have Rami at all if it weren’t for Paul. Rami would always remind him of the darkest and brightest days of his life. 

One of those bright days a young, starry-eyed Farrokh Bulsara met Brian May and John Deacon during their days at university. They shared a love of music, and naturally, they formed a band. But there was always something missing. 

Nonetheless, they’d been good enough to score a record deal. 

Of course, that’s when everything went to shit. 

On one of those dark days, Brian and John mated. 

Freddie had known that Brian and John were close, but he’d been blindsided by their new relationship. He’d tried to be happy for them he really did, but the two most important people in his life could barely spare time for him…

The studio dropped the band when John was pregnant with Gwil. Their excuse was that it would be too hard on the Omega to record much less tour. Freddie had been devastated, but he thought he’d at least still have Brian and John. Instead, it felt as if he’d been left behind in the dust. 

Paul had been there. That’s it. He wasn’t a good Alpha. He only saw what he wanted to see, and he was tricky. 

Freddie had known better… 

Paul’s possessiveness and jealousy had been suffocating, but at least, he wanted Freddie in his sick and twisted way. 

Freddie tried to remember that when he was littered with bruises. He put up with it for far too long. He might’ve put up with it for even longer had it not been for Rami. 

That was the turning point. 

Once Freddie realized he was pregnant, he knew he couldn’t stay with Paul. Going back to Brian and John was the only thing he could think of, and maybe, he just wanted to go home. After all, Brian and John were his family. 

They blamed themselves, of course. They should have taken better care of Freddie, but they were there for him during his time of need. 

On the brightest day in his life, Rami Farshad Mercury was born. 

Freddie would never be alone again.

***

Follow me on Tumblr: Sometimes, Wish I'd Never Been Born At All on Tumblr.

Chapter Text

But I've heard it all before

Take this letter that I give you

Take it sonny hold it high

You won't understand a word that's in it

But you'll write it all again before you die

A word in your ear

From father to son

Funny you don't hear

A single word that I say

But my letter to you

Will stay by your side

Through the years

Till the loneliness is gone

— “Father to Son” by Queen

“I haven’t heard anything from Freddie.” John’s fingers tapped against his cuppa tea. He’d hoped Freddie would call him with all the details of their crazy night out. 

“I haven’t heard from Roger either,” Brian added. Granted, he hadn’t really been expecting Roger to call. He knew that John missed the easy camaraderie he’d once shared with Freddie. “But we’ll see Fred at practice.” 

John hummed thoughtfully. “I know it’s just he used to talk to me about these things.”

Brian massaged his shoulders, his long hands a kind of magic. “He’ll talk to you. I’ll even butt out of practice so you two have the chance.”

“Maybe, it wasn’t enough.” John frowned. “Freddie hasn’t dated anyone since…”

“Roger’s practically celibate,” Brian thought out loud. He still couldn’t believe how much Roger had turned his life around since becoming a father. “Even if our plan worked, I’m not sure either of them would consider a relationship.”

“So, maybe, we need to do more.” John lit up like a lightbulb. 

Brian sighed, knowing that look in John’s eye always meant mischief was afoot. 

Weaving through the labyrinth of a marketplace, Freddie bounced Rami, evoking the most adorable giggle in the world. He never hid his smile from Rami. “Oh, my priy putra.” Rami smiled freely without any fear. He’d never feel like a color that contrasted too strongly. He could be as bright or as dull as he liked. 

That was all Freddie wanted.

Tarrying, he was almost late to band practice all because he didn’t want his baby out of his arms. But he knew that Brian and John were waiting for him. When he’d finally arrived outside of Brian and John’s door, he didn’t even have the time to knock before John practically pulled him into the flat.  

“I know, I know I’m late—” Freddie began. 

“Oh, that’s fine,” John said. “Brian ran out to get us some tea. Now tell me what happened the other night!”

Freddie giggled. “You tart! I couldn’t possibly not in front of…” Shifting Rami in his arms, Freddie quirked an eyebrow. 

“Oh, for god’s sake, he’s a baby!” John exclaimed.

As if to prove John’s point, Rami smacked his lips together, drool dripping down his chin. 

“Anyway, you were the invisible man after I came out of the loo,” John continued.

“I seem to recall you disappeared first,” Freddie retorted. “Very well, then. I went up there to sing, but at the same time this dashing Alpha came up too!”

John tried to keep his excitement tamped down.  

“We sang together,” Freddie said softly. “It was lovely, really.”

“Are you going to see him again?” John asked. 

“No, of course not.” Freddie shook his head. 

John sighed. “Why not?”

“You know why,” Freddie said quietly. He kissed the top of Rami’s head. 

“Would it be so terrible?” John asked. 

“I-I’m not very fortunate when it comes to love,” Freddie explained. “And that’s fine when it’s just me. But it’s not just me anymore.”

John wanted to say something, anything that might show Freddie how wrong he was, but before he had the chance, Brian arrived with three cuppa tea. He watched as Freddie placed Rami in the bouncy chair. 

“Alright, dears, I think I’ve got something,” Freddie declared. 

“Before we get to that,” Brian said, winking at John. “There’s something I’d like to discuss.”

“Oh?” Freddie hummed. 

Brian took a sip from his tea. “I think I figured out what went wrong before .”

Freddie frowned. He knew exactly what had gone wrong before . 

“I think we need a drummer,” Brian concluded. “In fact, I’ve already got one in mind.”

Someone knocked on the door. 

“Ah, that’s him,” Brian said opening the door to reveal Roger. 

Freddie’s mouth dropped open. 

Roger’s eyes widened. 

“Let’s make some music.” Brian rubbed his hands together. “Fred, you said you’ve got something?”

Freddie’s hands shook as he flipped open his sketchbook. He hadn’t expected to sing this song in front of its inspiration. Taking a deep breath, his fingers caressed the piano, dancing with melody. 

Love of my life, you've hurt me

You've broken my heart, and now you leave me

Love of my life, can't you see?

Bring it back, bring it back

Don't take it away from me

Because you don't know

What it means to me

Love of my life, don't leave me

You've taken my love, and now desert me

Love of my life, can't you see?

Bring it back, bring it back

Don't take it away from me

Because you don't know

What it means to me

Roger had been thrilled when Brian invited him to join a band. He still was. But he really hadn’t been expecting to see Freddie again. As he continued to listen to Freddie’s song, he was completely mesmerized. 

You will remember

When this is blown over

And everything's all by the way

When I grow older

I will be there at your side to remind you

How I still love you (I still love you)

Back, hurry back

Please, bring it back home to me

Because you don't know

What it means to me

Love of my life

Love of my life

Ooh, ooh

Freddie smiled bashfully. “I think it has potential.”

“It’s beautiful,” John assured him. 

“It’s sad,” Roger said softly. He couldn’t get the lyrics out of his head. He couldn’t get Freddie out of his head. 

“Tragic really,” Brian mused. “Like Greek Pathos.”

The corners of Freddie’s mouth quirked up, but he avoided Roger’s gaze. He played with the white and black keys. He wasn’t really paying attention to whatever Brian was explaining to Roger, nor John’s input. 

“Are you alright with that, Fred?” Brian asked. 

“Oh?” Freddie cocked his head. 

“We’ll practice Tuesdays and Thursdays,” Brian clarified. “During the weekends, we’ll play gigs at local pubs.” 

Freddie bit his lip. No, he wasn’t alright with that—that was simply too much time away from Rami! 

Roger curled his fists. This was his dream, but Ben had to come first…

“Will it really make much of a difference?” Freddie asked bitterly. “If we learned anything from before , isn’t it that record companies won’t sign Omegas?” 

“That’s not true,” Brian said carefully. “It’s harder, yes. But we were kids when we signed with EMI. We didn’t understand the music industry.”

Freddie’s fingers slipped on the piano keys forcefully. “I don’t know—”

Rami cried loudly. 

Roger started at the baby’s wail. He knew Brian and John had kids, but he didn’t think they had a baby. He didn’t understand why Freddie, not John, picked up a sobbing baby. But looking closer, it was impossible to deny that the baby was Freddie’s. 

***

Follow me on Tumblr: Sometimes, Wish I'd Never Been Born At All on Tumblr.

Chapter Text

Sing if you will

But the air you breathe

I live to give you

Father to son

Father to son, to son

Joyful the sound

Word goes around

Father to son to son

Kings will be crowned

Earth goes around

Father to son to son

— “Father to Son” by Queen

There had always been a missing piece, both in the band and within himself. 

Freddie thought that he’d just been born wrong, but that was before how easily Roger and he fit together. 

Roger was the missing piece. He filled the band with the rhythm it had been missing from the very beginning. 

In fact, Queen was doing better than ever. They even got signed again. 

Roger did more than that though. He filled Freddie with something almost like love…

But Freddie couldn’t allow himself that. 

“You can’t take your eyes off him,” John whispered. 

“He’s lovely,” Freddie said softly. 

Brian and Roger were discussing something across the room. Neither seemed to notice the two Omegas oggling them. 

“He stares at you too.” John nudged his friend carefully. 

“Everyone stares.” Freddie shrugged. 

“Not like him,” John insisted. 

Maybe not , Freddie thought. But nothing really matters . His eyes met Roger’s, flushing scarlet at being caught staring. 

But Roger only smiled. 

“I just want you to be happy.” John sighed. 

“I am happy,” Freddie said. So what, if he were lonely?

After band practice, Roger and Freddie were walking side by side. They lived so close together that it just made sense. 

“H-How’s your baby?” Roger asked, shuffling nervously. 

“Oh, well he’s doing wonderfully,” Freddie said, surprised. “He’s slithering around like a little snake. I can hardly keep up!”

Roger laughed. “W-What’s his name again?”

“Rami, it means loving,” Freddie said. 

“It’s beautiful,” Roger said. “I wish I’d had the chance to know my son when he was that little.”

“You have a son?” Freddie asked. 

Roger nodded. “His name’s Ben. He’s four. I-I didn’t know about him till recently.”

Freddie wanted to ask, but he knew that would be overstepping. 

But Roger explained anyway. He’d needed to tell someone for a long time now. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, dear,” Freddie said softly. 

Roger shrugged. 

Freddie wrung his hands. “R-Rami won’t be knowing his father. H-He isn’t a good man.”

Roger held out his hand. 

Freddie took it. 

“You deserve better then; you both do,” Roger said firmly. 

In his nest, Freddie curled around Rami. He couldn’t stop thinking of Roger.

Lying next to his sniffling son, Roger couldn’t stop thinking of Freddie. 

Brian and John were crushed under their sound-asleep kids. 

“I love you and your big heart,” Brian whispered. “But you can’t force them together.”

John whined. “I just hate them being so unhappy.”

“I know,” Brian kissed him. “I do too.”

Freddie loved days like this, no distractions, just him and Rami. Despite Rami being so young, he always aspired to make these days extra special. 

Cat Tales was his favorite bookstore. Tucked away in a yellow velvet chair, Freddie and Rami were reading A Bear Called Paddington. “I’ll never be like other people, but that’s alright because I’m a bear!”

Rami giggled. He loved Freddie’s voices. 

“C-Can I l-listen to you read too?” A little boy asked. 

Freddie started. “Oh, of course, darling.” He scooched over, making room for the little boy to sit next to him. He continued to read, making sillier and sillier voices eliciting even more laughter. 

“Ben!” An all too familiar voice called. 

“H-Here,” the little boy next to him stuttered. 

Roger stopped short at spotting his son tucked under Freddie’s arm. “Ben, you can’t just wander off like that!”

Ben’s lip trembled. 

“I’m afraid it’s my fault,” Freddie said softly. “I was reading much to amicably, but your father is right, you should have told him you wanted to listen.”

“Mummy used to read it,” Ben whispered. 

Roger’s face shattered. “H-How bout we get you your very own copy?”

Ben cuddled closer to Freddie. “Read some more, please.”

“Of course, premika.” So, Freddie kept reading, realizing just how special a good book could be. He was shocked when Roger read with him, tumbling over making his own funny voices. 

But Ben’s delighted giggling was worth it. 

***

Follow me on Tumblr: Sometimes, Wish I'd Never Been Born At All on Tumblr.

Chapter Text

Joyful the sound

Word goes around

Father to son to son

Kings will be crowned

Earth goes around

Father to son to son

Joyful the sound

Word goes around

Father to son to son

Kings will be crowned

Earth goes around

Father to son to son

— “Father to Son” by Queen

John narrowed his eyes as he watched Freddie flit around Roger. He was like a stray kitten who wanted love and scratches but was too afraid to come closer. 

Roger, on the other hand, was like an overeager golden retriever. He jumped at any opportunity to clumsily court Freddie. He was usually so confident and cocky, but he was unusually bashful and shy when it came to Freddie. 

John desperately wanted to push his two friends together and scream, kiss him! 

Brian squeezed his shoulder, reminding him that meddling further wasn’t an option. 

Begrudgingly, John had to admit that his husband was right, but watching Freddie and Roger flicker around each other, he longed to spark their flame. 

Freddie wanted to be selfish; god, he wanted to be selfish. But how could he?

Rami was his whole sky. 

Roger could so easily be his sun, but wouldn’t the sun take up too much of the sky?

Roger wanted to be serious for the first time in his life, he wanted more. He’d always been content with shallow relationships. 

But there was nothing shallow about Freddie. He was an ocean. 

God, Roger wanted to dive into those deep waters and never come up for air. What really sold it for Roger was seeing how amazing Freddie was with Rami and Ben. But it was so much more than that. 

Freddie had become a part of Roger’s mental wallpaper. He was very generous, kind, and witty. He was just great to be around. He was just as colorful off stage, but he was also very shy, more so than anybody would think. 

Roger found all of Freddie’s facets mesmerizing. 

“Got something for us, Fred?” Brian asked. 

Freddie’s fingers splayed over the ebony and ivory keys. 

Look into my eyes, and you'll see

I'm the only one

You've captured my love

Stolen my heart

Changed my life

Every time you make a move

You destroy my mind

And the way you touch

I lose control and shiver deep inside

You take my breath away

You can reduce me to tears

With a single sigh (Please, don't cry)

Every breath that you take

Any sound that you make

Is a whisper in my ear

I could give up all my life

For just one kiss

I would surely die

If you dismiss me from your love

You take my breath away

So, please, don't go

Don't leave me here all by myself

I get ever so lonely from time to time

I will find you

Anywhere you go

I'll be right behind you

Right until the ends of the earth

I'll get no sleep till I find you to tell you

That you just take my breath away

I will find you

Anywhere you go

Right until the ends of the earth

I'll get no sleep till I find you to tell you

When I've found you

I love you

“I love it!” Brian explained. “It explains exactly what I feel for John.”

Freddie smiled but hid his teeth. “Think it has potential.”

In his mind, Roger went over these lyrics again:

You can reduce me to tears

With a single sigh (Please, don't cry)

Every breath that you take

Any sound that you make

Is a whisper in my ear

He knew Freddie had been hurt before and that he’d built up barriers around himself, but he hadn’t realized how afraid Freddie was of being hurt again. It broke his heart. 

After practice, Roger walked Freddie home, as had become their custom. 

“I was wondering if you’d stop by after you picked up Rami,” Roger said. “Ben really wants to invite the both of you to his party.”

Freddie beamed. “Oh, that’ll be lovely!”

“H-He’s been doing a lot better since meeting you,” Roger said. 

“Oh, I’m glad, darling,” Freddie replied. “But I’m sure he’s just warming up to you.”

“Maybe,” Roger conceded. “But I think it has a lot to do with you.” 

Freddie fiddled with his keys as they neared his flat. “You’re a good father.”

“It’s hard doing it on your own,” Roger said. “Sometimes, wish I had someone to share it with.”

“This is me,” Freddie said. “I’ve got to pick up Rami from my mum, but I’ll stop by yours.” 

Roger caught Freddie’s hand before he could spread his wings and fly away. “Freddie, I-I love you.”

Freddie’s mouth dropped open. 

“I just had to say it,” Roger said. “I know you’re not there, and I need you to know that this doesn’t change anything. You’re my best friend, no matter what.” 

“You’re very quiet,” Jer said softly. 

“Oh?” Freddie stared absently at the lines on his palm. He didn’t know how to read his fortune, and he found that ironic. 

“Beta, tell me what’s wrong,” Jer pleaded. 

“Mama, d-did you love Baba more than Kash and me?” Freddie asked. 

“What kind of question is that?” Jer asked. “Love between mates is different from love between parents and children.” 

“I know that,” Freddie said. “B-But how did you know who to put first?”

“Well, your father could take care of himself for the most part.” Jer smiled. “He never could do his own tie. Kashi and you needed me more, but I was lucky I never had to love you and your sister alone.” 

“Freddie! Freddie!” Ben was jumping up and down.

“Oh, hello, darling!” Freddie exclaimed with a big smile. 

Ben threw his arms around Freddie’s legs. “Willyoucometomyparty!”

Roger chuckled and ruffled Ben’s hair. “Slow down, kiddo. Only cheetahs could understand whatever you just said.” 

“Party!” Ben squealed. 

“I would be delighted to attend your party,” Freddie said. 

Ben squeezed Freddie’s legs tighter. “Thankyousomuch!”

Roger had never seen Ben so excited. Honestly, it just made him love Freddie more. 

“Wanna play with my cars?” Ben asked. 

Rami started crying. 

“Oh, dear, I would love to play with you.” Freddie shifted Rami in his arms trying to calm him. “But I’m afraid I have to change his diaper.”

“I can do it,” Roger offered. 

“What? I couldn’t possibly—” 

Roger interrupted him. “Let me help you.”

Hesitantly, Freddie handed Rami over. 

“Play!” Ben grabbed Freddie’s hand and pulled him over to his play table. 

Changing a diaper was never something Roger had imagined himself doing. But he wanted to take some of the weight off Freddie’s shoulders. Lord knows, he took too much on. 

Rami looked up at him with wide eyes. 

Roger made a silly face and tickled his tummy. 

Giggling, Rami’s small hand wrapped around Roger’s finger. 

“God, you’re tiny,” Roger whispered. How he wished he could have seen Ben this small. 

Freddie watched from the corner of his eye as Roger with Rami in his arms settled himself on a loveseat. 

“Room! Room!” Ben pushed his car faster trying to beat Freddie’s car. 

Freddie played along, He pushed his car closer, just barely unable to overtake Ben’s. 

“I win! I win!” Ben cheered. “Papa, car song!”

Roger’s face turned scarlet. “Maybe, another time, bud.”

“Oh, no, I must hear the car song!” Freddie grinned at Ben. 

Roger sighed. Still blushing, he started to sing:

The machine of a dream

Such a clean machine

With the pistons a pumpin'

Аnd the hubcaps all gleam

When I'm holding your wheel

Аll I hear is your gear

With my hand on your grease gun

Oooh, it's like a disease, son

I'm in love with my car

Got a feel for my automobile

Get a grip on my boy-racer rollbar

Such a thrill when your radials squeal

Freddie fell onto his back and laughed. 

Despite not completely understanding what was humorous, Ben joined in giggling like a little fiend. “You’re so silly, Papa!”

Roger tried to look cross. “I’m not gonna sing that anymore if you’re gonna keep making fun of your poor father!”

After a few more races, Ben was tuckered out. He’d fallen asleep a few minutes ago clutching a cat stuffie. 

“‘I’m in Love with My Car?’” Freddie asked in a quiet voice. 

Roger blushed that darling shade of scarlet again. “I didn’t exactly have a lot of kid-appropriate songs—”

“But, Rog, what in the world are you doing with that car?” Freddie teased. 

Roger chuckled. “I suppose you could do better?”

Freddie’s eyes sparkled as he sang softly, “Mamma mia, let me go! Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me!”

Roger shook with laughter. 

Roger held Ben’s hand as they crossed the street. 

Ben was singing to himself, something that sounded a bit like “I’m in Love with My Car.” 

Roger huffed. 

“Papa, look Freddie!” Ben pointed. 

Roger looked, and sure enough, there were Freddie and Rami. He waved, a smile plastered to his face, but Freddie didn’t seem to notice him. 

Freddie almost looked small. He was clutching Rami, arguing with someone Roger had never seen before. 

One thing was clear, Freddie was terrified.

“Buddy, get behind me,” Roger ordered softly. 

Ben nodded, understanding the serious tone in his father’s voice. 

Roger and Ben were quiet as they made their way closer to Freddie. They almost looked like they were just passing by through the street. 

“I have a right to my own son!” An angry Alpha was right in Freddie’s face. 

Freddie trembled, trying to keep Rami’s face covered. “H-He isn’t yours. He’s mine.”

Paul took a step forward grabbing Rami’s blanket.

“Let him go,” Roger growled darkly. 

“You little whore!” Paul snarled at Freddie. He made a move to lunge forward, but Roger stopped him. 

“You’re going to leave them alone,” Roger said slowly. 

Paul eyed the other Alpha, wondering if he could take him. “He’s not worth it.” 

Freddie whimpered, uncertain how Paul could still hurt him. 

“That’s where you’re wrong!” Roger punched him. 

Freddie was worth everything. 

Roger only let his guard down when he was sure they were safe. He pulled Freddie, Rami, and Ben into his arms. “You’re ok, you’re ok.”

Freddie was a mess. His cheeks were wet with tears, mascara running. 

Rami mewled, overwhelmed by his baba’s emotions. 

“Let’s get you home,” Roger said softly. He swung an arm around Freddie’s shoulder and held Ben’s hand. 

Time seemed almost frozen as they slowly made their way through the busy streets. 

When they were finally back at Freddie’s flat, Roger didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to leave Freddie on his own—

“Stay?” Freddie asked. 

Roger exhaled. “Course, love.”

Freddie made his mother’s Dhansak, needing something warm and comforting. After lunch, he put Rami down for his nap. 

Ben had fallen asleep on the couch. 

Freddie pulled Roger into his room. They lay twined together in Freddie’s nest, breathing in one another. 

“Are you alright?” Roger asked. 

“No,” Freddie whispered. “I’ve always been terrified that Paul would try to take Rami from me.”

Roger squeezed him tight. “I simply won’t allow it.”

Freddie found himself dangerously close to the curve of Roger’s neck. His mouth watered with the desire to claim. 

Roger bit his lip, holding back a moan. 

“Tell me again,” Freddie demanded. 

“Huh?” Roger asked breathlessly. 

Freddie pressed a kiss to Roger’s neck. “Tell me you love me again.”

“I love you, Freddie,” Roger said solemnly. 

Freddie’s teeth sunk into his neck. “Love me forever then.” 

Roger rolled their bodies until he was positioned between Freddie’s legs. “You’re the love of my life.” 

Freddie gasped as Roger bit him, binding them for life. For so long, he’d thought of love as controlling and selfish, but Roger shared Freddie’s love. 

***

Follow me on Tumblr: Sometimes, Wish I'd Never Been Born At All on Tumblr.

Chapter Text

Three Years Later

On the top bunk, Ben was reading a story about a cat who learned how to play the guitar when he heard sniffling from below. Hanging over like a sloth, he peered at his baby brother. “You ok, Rami?”

Rami wiped his eyes. “Baba love me?”

Ben frowned. He couldn’t always understand what Rami meant, but he was only three. “Baba loves you and me!”

“B-But baby.” Rami sniffed. 

Ben wasn’t supposed to, but he swung and dropped to the ground. “You think Baba won’t love you because he’s having a new baby?”

Rami shook with tears. He was feeling such big and scary emotions, but he didn’t know how to express himself yet. 

Ben pulled him into his arms, just like Papa did when he was sad. “You know I felt a little bit like you at first when Papa and Baba got mated.”

“Wreally?” Rami asked. 

“Yeah, I was just getting used to living with Papa, and I didn’t want to replace my mummy.” Ben squeezed Rami a little tighter. He still missed his mummy. “And I-I wasn’t sure about having a baby brother.”

“Me?” Rami asked. 

“Yeah, you.” Ben smiled. “I didn’t want to share my papa, and I was afraid he’d love you more.”

Rami squeezed him tight. “Sowwy.”

“I was wrong,” Ben told him. “Papa loves you, but he loves me too. And Baba loves you and me!”

Rami bit his lip. “B-Baby?”

Ben ruffled his curly hair. “Papa and Baba love the baby, you, and me.”

“Boys, why are you still up?” Roger asked. He stopped short at seeing his sons hugging each other. 

Rami’s tear-stained face told enough of the story. 

“How bout you two get in bed with me and Baba?” Roger asked picking up Rami. 

Rami clung to him like a koala. “Baba?”

Freddie was reading a book about how to acclimate cats and newborns. “Oh, dear, did we have a bad dream?”

Roger shook his head. He placed Rami in the middle of the bed, chuckling as the little boy curled close to Freddie. He pulled Ben into a hug once his arms were free, whispering, “You’re such a good brother.”

“What’s wrong, premika?” Freddie asked, petting Rami’s soft curls. 

“He’s scared you won’t love him once the new baby comes,” Ben explained, climbing into bed. 

Freddie cursed his hormones as tears filled his eyes. “Oh, darlings, no! I love you so much! Both of you!”

“I told him you love the baby, him, and me,” Ben said, gently rubbing his baba’s rounded belly. 

Roger kissed the top of his head. “Things will change around here with the new baby, but one thing that won’t is how much we love you.”

“B-But me not your baby!” Rami cried. 

Freddie was crying now. He hadn’t wanted to tell Rami about Paul, but they’d had little choice when Paul tried to gain custody of Rami.

Roger rubbed Rami’s back. Freddie and he had the uncanny ability to cry together. “Kiddo, I’ve changed your diapers. You’re mine.”

But Rami didn’t seem convinced. 

Roger riffled through the stack of papers he kept in his nightstand. Finding the paper he was after, he handed it to Rami. “You see this?”

Rami nodded. 

“This says that Rami Farshad Mercury is my son.” Roger ran his finger over the words even though he knew Rami couldn’t read yet. 

“Weally?” Rami asked. 

“Really,” Roger promised. 

Freddie pulled out a matching paper from his nightstand. He handed it to Ben. “And this says that Ben Hardy Taylor is my son.”

Roger grinned at his husband. God, he loved him. 

Freddie was squished under his sons and unborn daughter. He still couldn’t believe they were having a girl this time. “Did we tell you what you’re baby sibling is going to be?”

Ben and Rami shook their heads. 

Roger chuckled at their identical expressions. “You’re gonna have a baby sister!”

Rami cocked his head. His expression all too serious before breaking into a beaming smile. He kissed Freddie’s belly. “Love baby.”

“We’ve picked a name too,” Roger said. 

Ben looked at him curiously. 

“Freny,” Freddie explained. “Means loved by all.”

“Wike us!” Rami squealed. “We love all!”

Roger blinked back his own tears, god, he loved these kids so much. 

Freddie and Roger were quiet as Rami and Ben fell asleep. Softly, they slipped out of their bed, tiptoeing into the kitchen. 

Roger pulled Freddie into his arms, needing to feel him “How’d we get so lucky?”

“Well, my name does mean fortunate,” Freddie whispered. “And I feel very fortunate in love.”

“Good,” Roger said softly. He kissed Freddie deeply, loving him a little more day by day, loving their family more with each passing moment. He’d never felt so drowned with love. 

Freddie moaned breathily. He never felt alone anymore. He had his whole sky, his sun, and all of his stars.

***

Follow me on Tumblr: Sometimes, Wish I'd Never Been Born At All on Tumblr.