Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was just another scenario.

Damn these scenarios.

Joonghyuk scowls as the familiar window pops up, nothing new about scenarios but surprisingly it was a scenario that never appeared in the 'Ways of survival' or Yoo Joonghyuk's previous regressions. Said scenario being the embodiment of breaching Kim-com's beloved leader Kim Dokja's past which he was way too secretive about.

The man in question was lying unconscious in a hospital bed after being knocked out by a mere punch by his beloved protagonist, the sunfish bastard, the supreme king Yoo Joonghyuk. Why did Joonghyuk knock him out? What did our sly squid Kim Dokja do to piss him off so bad that the sunfish's murderous glare wasn't enough? No one knows but while the children, Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung are busy glaring daggers at the man who knocked their precious father figure out and Joonghyuk ignoring them boring holes into his soul, the tall man threw a glance at the reader which turned into a stare, he stared at the skinny man lying unconscious, chest rising up and down slowly... He scowled, remembering what the argument was about and what caused Kim Dokja to be in this situation and he frowned even deeper because this time Kim Dokja deserved a whack, he really did and just as Han Sooyoung was about to spout some nonsense like she's made to, suddenly that damn scenario window popped up along Biyoo, the cute fluffball known as a dokkaebi and also Kim Dokja's beloved daughter.

[A new hidden scenario has arrived.]

+

[Hidden Scenario - Understanding the reader better]

Category: Hidden

Difficulty: ???

Clear Conditions: Travel into the past and watch Kim Dokja grow up, witness the hardships he went through.

Time Limit: ???

Compensation: 50,000 coins, better understanding and relationship with 'Kim Dokja'

Failure: ???

+

"A peek into Dokja-ssi's past..." Jung Heewon muttered, for once she found a scenario interesting.

"Baaaht!" Biyoo excitedly urged them to prepare themselves.

"But isn't it wrong to take a look into his past without his consent...?" 

Lee Hyunsung looked unsure if he, or anyone should proceed with this scenario.

"It's not like we asked them to show us the ugly rat's miserable life!"  

Han Sooyoung exclaimed, nonchalantly shoving another lollipop in her mouth but deep down even she felt a bit uneasy because she had seen a bit of fragments of Kim Dokja’s traumatized childhood. To think that a man in his late twenties who dared to oppose constellations and stood brazen was the same man who went into a state of stupor when he was in front of a childhood bully… Just how bad was it? 

"Wait, we will get to see hyung as a child?! I am in!" Lee Gilyoung exclaimed cheerfully.

"Me too! I want to see what Ahjussi was like before the scenarios too!" Shin Yoosung chimed in with sparkly eyes.

Yoo Sangah noticed the kids beaming and let out a sigh, she looked at Han Sooyoung who seemed to be in a deep thought while nibbling candy, Sangah glanced at others and then took a deep breath and went towards the short woman, Sangah couldn't talk to anyone else but Sooyoung at this moment about this because Sangah knew that if there was anyone else who knew Dokja as much as her, then that person was Sooyoung. Sooyoung saw the woman approaching her and raised an eyebrow. She didn't get the chance to ask anything because Sangah had suddenly excused herself, taking Sooyoung's hand and dragging her outside the room with Sooyoung protesting.

And they both came back after a while after discussing something, both exchanging glances as Sooyoung spoke up.

"Oi, you kids won't go. Stay here with the ugly squid and Han Donghoon." She pointed at the antisocial boy who was trying his best not to get noticed, the boy groaned, his eyes screaming. ‘I just want to be left alone.’

"What do you mean? I want to go too! I am not a child!?"

Lee Jihye was extremely annoyed, she did not want to miss out on this opportunity to tease her ugly ahjussi about how she saw him and how he looked and acted like when he was around her age! 

"Yes... I am fine, please it's okay so just take others… I'd like to be alone..."  Han Donghoon also spoke up in a timid manner, definitely not glaring at Sooyoung, Sangah saw the boy fidgeting and sighed, she understood that the boy was uneasy.

Han Donghoon was the definition of an introvert, he'd rather sit in his room all day but decided to visit Kim Dokja to ask him something related to a scenario only to be asked to 'make himself at home' and watch over Kim Dokja while he's at it... It was okay but he couldn't bear to socialize anymore, with all the kids chiming in with their bubbly personalities he looked like a loner, an outsider and he had barely managed to open up to Kim Dokja all alone.

"As far as we know, it might not be so pleasant or a kid friendly scenario." 

Yoo Sangah tried to explain calmly, ruffling Lee Gilyoung’s hair who was staring at her.

"Noona, do you think ever since the scenarios started we have seen anything kid friendly?" 

Lee Gilyoung looked at her with a deadpan expression, Mia and Yoosung nodded along in agreement.

It was true. The kids had seen way too much bloodshed, suffered way too much, there's no way they weren't used to the unpleasant scenarios, they were immune to them at this point. 

"Then don't regret it later." Yoo Joonghyuk replied to him instead.

"I don't need to hear this from you, you sooty bastard." Lee Gilyoung scowled at him.

Gilyoung wanted to make it very, very obvious that he didn't like Yoo Joonghyuk. Not after him always threatening to kill his father figure, hell... even killing him and then proceeding to act like nothing happened, like an unfeeling bastard he was.

Anyways, here they go, with Han Donghoon staying with Kim Dokja to look after him.

Biyoo, Kim-com, when we say Kim-com even Gong Pildu and Han Myung-oh who got the scenario decided to walk into the portal, while the constellations and the masters of the two idiots, the dumb disciples known as Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja would be staying here watching everything on a screen with Lee Sookyung. 

No one noticed Lee Sookyung clutching her coat. She wasn't there for Kim Dokja for most of his life but in the beginning she was, or well she tried to be and she knew this wouldn't be a pleasant thing to see. She took deep breaths and steadied herself and looked over to her grown son lying in a bed peacefully lulled in a deep slumber, she reminded herself it's okay now, he was okay, maybe it was actually her who needed to hear someone tell her it was okay now, that she was okay now. But oh how much she wished. She wished she could go back in time and change it all. Sighing, she decided to focus on the screen when she suddenly heard a notification and looked up.

[The constellation 'Queen of the Darkest Spring' says it will be okay.]

Lee Sookyung smiled, yes it was okay now. Everything was okay. Kim Dokja has a mother like Persephone and a father like Hades, who could provide him with everything she never could. It was all okay, yes. 'Thank you' She mouthed looking up above, she knew Persephone was still watching her, she could feel her gaze. She took a deep breath and decided to focus on the screen, which was showing the group entering a very familiar room instead, a room buried in her memories.

Chapter Text

 +

[Hidden Scenario - Understanding the reader better]

Category: Hidden

Difficulty: ???

Clear Conditions: Travel into the past and watch Kim Dokja grow up, witness the hardships he went through.

Time Limit: ???

Compensation: 50,000 coins, better understanding and relationship with 'Kim Dokja'

Failure: ???

 +

■■■

Chapter Text

+

[Hidden Scenario - Understanding the reader better]

Category: Hidden

Difficulty: ???

Clear Conditions: Travel into the past and watch Kim Dokja grow up, witness the hardships he went through.

Time Limit: ???

Compensation: 50,000 coins, better understanding and relationship with 'Kim Dokja'

Failure: ???

+

■■■

The scene changed to a slightly older Kim Dokja who looked about ten years old. He had been taken in by his aunt and uncle, and it was obvious that his relatives treated him like an unwanted nuisance.

"Dokja, as soon as you are turning eighteen you are moving out. You are already fifteen so you better start saving up. We can only do so much for you after the stunt your mother pulled!" His so-called uncle sighed, leaving shortly after. Dokja’s so-called aunt glared at the boy who was staring at her with empty eyes and Dokja's head sunk down.

'I know, I fucking know.'

It was obvious what he wanted to say but he couldn't.

"He's fifteen!? He looks like he's nine-" Jihye spat out with wide eyes, once again snapping everyone out of their thoughts.

"Jihye."

A deep voice interrupted, unsaid was the, ‘Read the room, you idiot.' 

"Sorry, master." Lee Jihye smiled apologetically.

"Do you know the mess your mother has caused…? Was the murder not enough that she decided to humiliate us even further by publishing a book about it!? Say... when you visited her did she tell you about it?" 

The woman grabbed Dokja’s face roughly and glared at him, inspecting him with her eyes. With a huff she let go. Shooing the kid away with a wave.

■■■

Kim Dokja got to his shabby room, locked it and sat on the floor with his knees close to his chest.

"What's the purpose of living? This is a punishment." He murmured, there was no sign of liveliness on his face, his eyes were oddly empty, dark and he looked like he had given up.

[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' is sobbing!]

So Dokja wasn't just a sacrificial bastard... Yoo Joonghyuk noted that he must have a long conversation with his life and death companion when he gets back to him. The members saw their leader sleep without eating anything, waking up the next day without eating breakfast and going to the convenience store to buy a kimbap which was nearly expired. Yoo Joonghyuk, the neat freak, the skilled chef had an expression filled with grimace. He knew Dokja loved his cooked meals and he would sometimes not share them with the reader out of spite but now he would literally shove the food down his throat to make up for it. They saw Dokja going to school, surely it wouldn't be that bad... Right?

They were wrong, it wasn't bad. It was worse.

[The constellation 'Mass Production Maker' is frowning.]

Only to escape a cycle of abuse to end up in another.

Hyunsung, the most patient member of the company, had his knuckles turning white in restraint as he clenched his fists harder, vein almost popping out with how much pressure he applied. He had probably never had such an expression on his face. Yoo Joonghyuk's hand was firmly on the hilt of his sword, Sooyoung was clenching her jaw while Sangah was taking deep breaths. Seolhwa was biting her lip harshly, looking at the scene while the kids were fuming with anger, eyes filled with tears, Pildu and Myung-Oh were making sorrowful expressions, while Heewon prayed to the constellations to give her enough strength to not mess with the probability and interfere. Jang Hayoung was shaking, how the fuck could kids be so cruel, how the hell could they do this!?

"Fuck! Why isn't someone helping him!?"

Jihye spat out furiously and no one told her to mind her language because all everyone could think about were curses at the moment. The members wanted to believe that there must be some sort of comfort for their leader in this harsh world, a friend... or some salvation but no. Someone tried to force Kim Dokja to read the book his mother wrote, while someone wrote hateful words on his desk, while some made him drink and eat disgusting combinations of food, mostly containing tomatoes, which were also thrown relentlessly every fucking day at the teenager.

'He wasn't being picky about food, I just assumed he wanted to be picky whenever he saw tomatoes...'

Yoo Joonghyuk was suddenly reminded of how Dokja would skip anything including tomatoes in it, and now the protagonist felt guilty for judging Dokja. He scowled, he was reminding the reader of his trauma everyday without even doing anything severe and Yoo Joonghyuk hated himself for it.

They saw their Dokja, how he was relentlessly bullied, kicked and punched in his gut. They saw their beloved leader helpless, curling up as if to make himself smaller. 

"Hey! Son of a murderer" Someone called out while kicking him once again.

"Yo! Don't call him that, what if he kills you!?" Another voice joined, sneering.

"Or maybe he will get drunk before killing you hahaha!" And another voice.

 "The only one he should kill is himself, seriously!" And another.

"Hahaha fucking for real!" And another.

"I should kill myself?" Kim Dokja suddenly blurted out. The company members held tense expressions.

"Haha fuck yeah! Why are you even alive at this point, just end it all!"

"I should end it all..." He mumbled and nodded.

'No... no!' Jang Hayoung realized something as she covered Yoosung and Gilyoung's eyes, while Yoo Mia's were covered by Sooyoung, even though the kids had seen every calamity in an apocalypse they didn't want the children to see their father figure in such a state.

Suddenly Kim Dokja stood up, he walked towards the open window and stared. He stared at the birds flying freely, soaring up above in the sky. Instead of looking down, he looked up at the sky, took a deep breath and clenched his shaking hands tighter.

"Hahaha! Is that bastard planning to actually jump?!"

"No way! He is a coward, he will piss his pants looking at the view!"

And then Kim Dokja stepped on the railing.

At which the classmates who were snickering at him stilled while Kim Dokja's company felt their breaths hitching.

"What the fuck, is he actually going to do it!?"

"Hah. No way!"

After a pause, Kim Dokja flashed his classmates his unlucky smile which the Kim-com was utterly familiar with. He spoke in a monotone voice.

"Thank you for making me realize there's nothing worth living for left anymore in this world, and... Fuck you all."

And he jumped from the high story window.

He jumped, while the students in the class screamed. Yoo Joonghyuk attempted to catch Dokja by his collar with all of his might but he had obviously failed, hands failing to catch anything but air this time.

■■■

Lee Sookyoung had heard about his attempt, her heart cried at the sight of her son tattered with bruises, being bullied endlessly, he couldn't catch a break, could he? It was as if his existence was doomed from the start, ending up in the same pattern in a different way every time, and what she felt was the fact that she was never there, her book was supposed to avoid any further suspicions but ended up ruining her son's life once more. She would always end up making things worse when she wanted the opposite. The universe was never in her favor. She watched her son, a bloody mess who was somehow still breathing, being taken to the hospital in a rush, everyone watched it all silently. Knowing he would survive, but it was pitiful, so so pitiful. 

"Lee Sookyung." 

Snapping her out of her train of thoughts. Yoo Joonghyuk called out to her.

"Lee Sookyung, what were you thinking when you published that book? Are you an idiot?" 

Yoo Joonghyuk asked her, his expression was neutral but he was practically seething, he knew the others must be watching, he wanted to ask her what was she even thinking? She literally ruined her son's life even more. He wanted to blame her, his heart was twisting with fury and anger. 

[The constellation 'Secretive Plotter' says you have no right to judge her.]

Yoo Joonghyuk looked at the notification and frowned. "You aren't the one I was talking to." He turned away, focusing on the situation going on instead.

■■■

Kim Dokja had survived, it was a miracle. This wasn't the first time something like this was happening, it was as if the universe was never in Dokja's favor, he wasn't even allowed to die. They watched the fifteen year old covered in band-aids and dressings sleeping, for two weeks straight with not a single visitor. Not even his aunt came, not even once. When he woke up, realized he was still alive in this hell, he had a mental breakdown and sobbed, the nurses looked at him with pity and gave him a device to help him distract himself. He didn’t do anything for a while but then he looked up at a novel website which popped up the moment he turned on his phone and searched 'Ways to survive' and came across Joonghyuk's story, 'Three ways to survive in a ruined world' 

It was a new story and was updating regularly, and the more the reader read it, the more he fell in love with the story so Dokja decided to make the novel his lifeline. He fell in love with the story, a story of a man who never gave up.

'I will make it through everyday to see Joonghyuk reach his ending' He decided. 

Joonghyuk understood now. When Dokja had said that he saved him once, this was what he meant. The Kim-com watched Dokja grow up reading their story, they watched him chant "I am Yoo Joonghyuk" as he got bullied and attacked, as he went to visit his mother and talk about this particular novel.

■■■

"Lee Hyunsung is so loyal, Joonghyuk better appreciate him..."

An eighteen year old Dokja grumbled, Hyunsung blushed. He felt a sense of pride at the praise from his beloved friend.

■■■

"Whoa Jihye is so cool, I wished I could be like her!"

Dokja said, his pale cheeks casting a pink shade, he was blushing and Lee Jihye looked so smug. She had a smug expression because her master had a dark one.

■■■

"Seolhwa is so pure, I really wonder how she manages to make time for others so selflessly during an apocalypse."

Seolhwa smiled, it seemed like she was appreciated by both versions of Dokja.

■■■

"This is not fair, Shin Yoosung needs more appreciation, she is so powerful yet tender!"

Dokja squealed, he may be twenty now and his rotten luck might have made him make it to the front lines during his army service but his reactions were like a child's. Shin Yoosung felt her cheeks flushing, she saw this man, her father speak so lovingly about her, Gilyoung scowled, because well, he wasn't in the novel.

■■■

"Damn, this sunfish really decided to finish Pildu in one blow."

Pildu flinched and glared at Joonghyuk who paid him no mind.

■■■

"Sunfish bastard, emotionally constipated bastard, idiot!!! If only he would have used his brain instead of his sword at the moment, I want to punch him so badly!"

Joonghyuk had a 'look' on his face, so many nice words for others but... insults for the protagonist? Really? 

[The constellation 'Secretive Plotter' is smiling.]

■■■

They watched him grow up from twenty to twenty one, twenty two, completing his army service, going to university, getting a job and so on...

■■■

"The way Jang Hayoung is described, she must be so beautiful she can definitely slap Joonghyuk's cheek once or twice!"

"Please! He compares other's beauty by the measure of slaps on your cheeks?! I am so teasing him!"

Han Sooyoung cackled and Hayoung blushed. Yoo Joonghyuk scrunched up his face in annoyance but felt a sense of pride because Kim Dokja, his only reader, admired him so much.

Not that he would admit it felt nice being appreciated.

■■■

"Yoo Mia is really this guy's sister, hopefully she doesn't turn out to be emotionally constipated..."

Mia rolled her eyes, her emotionally constipated brother Joonghyuk scoffed.

■■■

"81's cooking must taste good, I am hungry..."

[The constellation 'Secretive Plotter' says to fix your attitude and cook for him more.]

"Who are you to order me?" Joonghyuk spat out, glaring at the notification.

 ■■■

"999th regression is definitely my favorite, probably the most gentle Hyukie ever." Dokja said cheerfully.

[The constellation 'Secretive Plotter' is smiling.]

Yoo Joonghyuk glared at the sky, knowing damn well this one was sent by the 999th himself.

■■■

"This is not fair, he deserves at least a little bit of happiness, author-nim... 1863 regressions of sufferings... Please let him reach the end now, he has suffered enough… Isn’t it okay for him to be a little happy?"

[The constellation 'Secretive Plotter' is silent.]

Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't understand, how could a man love mere characters so much? He saw Kim Dokja laugh for them, cry for them, cheer for them...? What if the apocalypse never happened and they never met? If the novel would have ended for Dokja, what would happen to him? What would happen to the sole reader of his life long journey?

■■■

"Damn. Han Myung-Oh is killing me with all this overtime..."

Han Myung-Oh flinched when he felt all the gazes on him, he smiled nervously. He couldn't change the past after all...

■■■

They saw a familiar figure in a suit with long hair and a gentle aura.

"Ah..." Sangah saw herself greeting Dokja, she looked the same but she felt so different, so many things have changed after-all.

"Now that I think about it, in terms of personality Sangah-ssi can slap Joonghyuk as many times as one can..."

Dokja muttered while eating instant noodles.

Everyone laughed while Joonghyuk scowled while Sangah smiled gently.

Suddenly Biyoo alerted them with a "Baaaht!" that the scenario was coming to an end.

They looked at Dokja entering the subway, the day where it all started and saw Dokja staring at his phone excitedly.

"It ends today, will he finally reach the ending this time? Surely..."

His face morphed into one of confusion as he was reading.

"Huh? This is the end? What?"

As Dokja was dazed, trying to understand what happened, he was greeted by Sangah and suddenly the Kim-com felt their bodies being sucked into the portal, back to their timeline as the day the novel ended was the start of the apocalypse.

■■■

They were back in the hospital room and Dokja... Well he was nowhere to be found.

Chapter Text

When the Kim-com arrived, they were greeted by an empty bed. Kim Dokja should have been here but he wasn't.

"Where is he?"

[The constellations are silent.]

"Where is Kim Dokja?"

Yoo Joonghyuk asked again, his voice was scathing. Where was his reader? 

"He found out about the scenario and ran away before he could face any of you."

Aileen replied to the man who was practically seething, his hand tightly gripping the hilt of his sword, ready to unsheathe it and go berserk.

"Why would he run away?" Yoosung looked dejected.

Han Sooyoung looked up and asked, "Hey Black Flame, do you know where he is?"

[The constellation 'Abyssal Black Flame Dragon' says he doesn't see him anywhere.]

[The constellation 'Prisoner of the Golden Headband' says he believes the constellation 'Demon King of Salvation' might have used a skill which makes it impossible for the constellations to see him.]

"Tsk..."  

Pildu clicked his tongue, why was that brat so scared anyways? He should know better. He should know they wouldn't judge him or something.

But the thing was, Dokja wasn't scared of being judged, he was scared of showing how broken and vulnerable he is deep down, he was scared of burdening his companions and the ones whose story he read about. He also knew the way he dealt with things wasn't justified because of his dark past, he knew he was no saint either but to show such a pathetic side of himself to his companions who looked up to him made his heart twist in pain. 

[The constellation 'Secretive Plotter' says that if the constellation 'Demon King of Salvation' ends up paying him a visit, he will let you know.]

"And why would he go to you instead?" Joonghyuk snarled.

[The constellation 'Secretive Plotter' says that the kkomas are better to look at than your permanent scowl.]

"Shut up." Joonghyuk glared at the sky.

"You two stop your bickering, we should focus on finding Dokja." Heewon interrupted them.

"Yes, let's split into groups and look for him." Sangah joined in.

"Alright, me and Sangah, Gilyoung and Donghoon, Mia and Yoosung, Heewon and Hyunsung, Pildu and Myung-Oh, Hayoung and Jihye.... Seolhwa and Aileen please stay here in-case the rat comes back and... Sookyung Ahjumma and Joonghyuk, now let's start searching for our damn squid."  

Han Sooyoung said, clasping her hands tightly as the everyone went to different directions looking for their leader.

“Me and Kyrgios will look for him too.” Namgung said, waving her hands and exiting the room.

"I don't need company." Yoo Joonghyuk spoke up after everyone else but him, Kim Dokja’s mother and Sooyoung were left in the room.

Yoo Joonghyuk would rather not be paired up with Sookyung right now.

"Shut up and do as I say for once."  

Sooyoung sighed and followed Sangah, leaving Dokja's mother and Joonghyuk alone.

"I know you dislike me but let's cooperate for now." 

Sookyung said quietly while stepping outside the room.

[The constellation 'Queen of the Darkest Spring' suggests you two to have a conversation while you are searching for the constellation 'Demon King of Salvation']

Joonghyuk pondered over the message for a moment, and stepped out in search of his reader.

■■■

As they were looking through different parts of the industrial complex, Sookyung spoke up.

"I am sorry."

"I am not the one you should be saying this to." Joonghyuk paused for a moment and replied.

"I know you must dislike me for my methods."

"I did, but I also know that you did it all for him."

And if all of it never happened, where would Dokja be now? Joonghyuk felt selfish for being a little glad that Dokja depended on him.

"...It was always the opposite, whatever I did, whatever I wanted, whatever my intentions were, it just never worked out in our favor." Sookyung spoke up dejectedly.

"I was scared that Dokja might confess in fear. I couldn't bear it and wrote the book, thinking back maybe the book was a very bad decision, as it just ruined him further and leaving that child all alone was worse, even cruel."  

When Joonghyuk glanced at her, the woman looked so tired, right... Dokja wasn't the only one who suffered, she did too but he still needed to ask her, why not talk to Dokja? Why couldn't she?

"Why won't you say this all to your son?" 

"I am sharing this with one of my sons, when we find him, I will make sure to talk to him too, tell him what has been on my mind and apologize." Sookyung confessed.

Joonghyuk halted. He never had a memory of his parents, or if he ever had any. Being called 'son' was a very unfamiliar word. A word he didn't know how to respond to. He decided it'd be best to look unaffected and carry on, knowingly Sookyung smiled.

He activated the Midday Tryst.

Yoo Joonghyuk: "Kim Dokja."

Yoo Joonghyuk: "Kim Dokja, where are you?"

Yoo Joonghyuk: "Kim Dokja, I know you are receiving these, reply to me."

Yoo Joonghyuk: "Kim Dokja, reply to me before I find you and kill you myself."

Yoo Joonghyuk: "Kim Dokja, if you don't reply to me this instant, I will really kill you."

Yoo Joonghyuk: "Kim Dokja, I will fucking kill you."

Yoo Joonghyuk: "Do you have a death wish?"

Yoo Joonghyuk: "You are dead meat."

Yoo Joonghyuk: "Dokja."

 Yoo Joonghyuk: "Everyone is worried."

Yoo Joonghyuk: "Kim Dokja."

Kim Dokja: "Please leave me alone for a while, stop searching for me."

Yoo Joonghyuk: "I don't trust you enough to leave you by yourself alone."

Kim Dokja: "I won't go dying, stop looking for me."

Yoo Joonghyuk: "Kim Dokja, don't test my patience."

Yoo Joonghyuk: "Kim Dokja."

■■■

Joonghyuk felt his headache getting stronger, he frowned. Why the hell was this damn rat bastard so damn stubborn? He rubbed his temples, trying to calm down before a vein popped out.

Then suddenly something clicked in, his eyes flashed a hint of gold. His eyebrow twitched, of-course how could he miss that place?

"I think I know where he might be." Joonghyuk said, addressing Sookyung and she nodded and followed him.

■■■

As Sookyung stood, staring at the library, she smiled. Of-course her son was hiding here. She felt warm knowing Dokja's companion knows her son better than her, with a slight pang of guilt.

[The constellation 'Queen of the Darkest Spring' wishes you good luck!]

[The constellation 'Prisoner of the Golden Headband' encourages you to have a heart to heart talk with his maknae.]

[The constellation 'Mass Production Maker' says you can do this!]

[Several constellations are looking forward to your conversation.]

[Several constellations wish you luck!]

Sookyung smiled, mouthed a 'thank you' and opened the library door quietly.

The door opened with a soft creak, the library had a few lights on, which were dim and flickering. Sookyung walked quietly, she was walking straight towards the corners. When she reached the third shelf she halted and smiled to herself, some habits never change, do they?

Out of all the chairs to sit on, Dokja had decided to sit on the floor in a corner, back resting, leaning on the empty shelf, he was holding his knees close to his chest, his face was buried in his arms and he had curled himself up, he was so deep in thought that he didn't even notice someone entering the library.

A shadow loomed over his face and Dokja was startled and hurriedly looked up to see his mother standing there, hesitating to reach out.

Sookyung stepped towards him slowly, she got on her knees, her hand trembling as she cupped Dokja's cold face which was tear streaked. She sighed, she was relieved that her son was fine, looking at him like this she felt proud. Dokja may look like him but Dokja was nothing like him, Dokja's breath stuttered, this sudden affection... from his mother out of all people?

"What..." He muttered, leaning back with his hands forming fists as he bit his lip, his pupils were shaking.

"Dokja." She whispered affectionately, her voice had a hint of yearning and longing, guilt and hurting, sadness and happiness. She kissed her son's forehead.

[The fourth wall is shaking!]

"My Dokja." She brought her head closer and bumped her forehead with his own, holding his hands, rubbing them with her thumbs.

"I am sorry." Dokja's eyes widened as she smiled apologetically, she moved back a little, took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes.

"I am really sorry, please forgive your mother." She had tears brimming in her tired eyes.

"I have been selfish, I have been incapable, I know very well."

"Please forgive me."

[The fourth wall is trembling!]

"I shouldn't have left a child all alone, I should have taken you and run away." She nodded, biting her lower lip.

"I should have taken a step, if only I did, you wouldn't have suffered so much." She was sobbing violently now.

"I am sorry. I never learned how to express my love for you, I thought reading books with you and looking at you being so invested and smiling meant that you understood I love you but I was wrong, I am sorry. I was never there for you when you needed me, forgive me please."

She kissed his hands then clasped their hands tightly.

Dokja was visibly trembling, his eyes were glistening with tears. He had never heard any of his parents say 'I love you' to him, not with this sincerity.

[The fourth wall has absorbed some of the mental shock!]

"I was the one who ruined it all." He whispered and took his hand away, refusing to look his mother in the eyes.

"You didn't. You didn't do anything. Please stop blaming yourself." Lee Sookyung shook her head violently, biting her lip.

"No I... You shouldn't be saying sorry, it's not your fault I ruined everything. You are just acting like this because of the scenario." Kim Dokja shrugged.

"I was the one who made it worse, I was cruel, I was the one who left you all alone and I wished I didn't and if this is a chance for me to repent so please… I know this is something unexpected from someone like me, even I think so but..." His mother sounded so. so desperate at this moment that Kim Dokja felt something twisting inside his body. He turned to face her and fell silent for some good while.

"..." Dokja took a deep breath.

"I-"  Dokja paused, bowing his head and speaking in a low voice, his voice wavering.

"I didn't care how bad it was as long as I had you by my side, I didn't care if he hit me as long as it was not you being hit, I didn't care if he was a drunkard, I only cared about you, it was okay. Yes it was as long as you were by my side because before that novel, you were the only one I had, my only purpose and I was relieved because I had you and when that happened and you went away, everything changed. I really needed you, I- I really..."

A dam breaks. He was quietly sobbing but this time these tears weren't of fear but anger and pain. Letting it all out, he lets the tears flow down.

Lee Sookyung hugged him tightly, sobbing along, patting his back while she brushed his hair with her other hand affectionately, a method which always worked when she had to soothe her crying son. Dokja sniffled and buried his head in her mother's shoulder, feeling the familiar warmth and scent. How long has it been since he has hugged his mother?

"It was... really hard, ugh. It was- It was very hard without you, I didn't even see the point in living anymore. I was so tired and scared. It was so hard." He wailed, his voice was cracking.

"I know, I won't leave you to suffer all alone again. I promise." Lee Sookyung nodded.

"You don't have to worry anymore, Dokja. There are so many people who love you, a better family, everything you never had. We all love you so much. Especially your companions, they love you so much more than I ever will. Don't be afraid any longer. You are not alone anymore. You are not alone. Not anymore."

[I t wa s ha rd but yo u are n ot al one an y more.] Fourth wall assured him too.

"I am not..." He repeated and nodded as if he couldn't believe it.

The mother and son sat there crying in each other's arms for a while, their eyes were bloodshot with the excessive crying, noses red and face tear stained and Dokja imagined his younger self looking at him smiling happily despite the bruises and band-aids on his face.

■■■

"Oh is my husband crying?" 

Persephone teased Hades while she herself had swollen eyes.

Hades wiped his eyes, frowned and said, "You are the one to talk."

He took Persephone in his arms and hugged her tightly.

"Haha, feeling vulnerable like your son?"

She continued teasing him while she patted his back.

Who would have known that the King of the Underworld was such a softie deep down? The Queen apparently.

"...Persephone." Hades said annoyingly while his beloved wife chuckled.

■■■

"I am really glad he got some much needed closure." 999 said, smiling.

"I am more glad because we don't have to see the 1864th turn's menacing face for a moment, a much needed break." 666 chimed in.

"What's on your feral mind now, 41?" 777 asked the scowling kkoma who in return, glared at him and with a huff spoke up.

"He is such a fool. Why didn't he just give up? There are several stories. Ours was just a repetitive one."

He knew the answer but he just couldn't believe it, how could Dokja love someone like him? Someone with countless flaws, someone who kept failing repeatedly.

"Because he believed in us and didn't want to give up on us, right Plotter?" 

81 spoke up in a gentle voice.

The Secretive Plotter nodded.

The kkomas and SP turned their gazes towards the screen, deep down they all knew their hearts were content for some reason.

■■■

"Pass me a tissue." Uriel said sobbing.

"Tsk you are such a crybaby." ABFD said annoyingly.

"As if you weren't crying." Sun Wukong snickered.

Mass production maker passed Uriel a tissue while the Monkey King and the chuuni Dragon bickered.

■■■

As the mother and son finished talking about conversations they wanted to talk about, the things they couldn't talk about and the things they could never talk about. They felt much closer and content. But it was a long way to go, forgiveness takes time, and so does moving on and there was another issue causing Kim Dokja stress, deep down he couldn't help but feel scared. Scared that his kids will be terrified of him now, scared that he will be the subject of pity, he really didn't want sympathy. There were so many things going on in his mind, he was also terrified and felt his heart twisting at the thought of Joonghyuk despising him for using his suffering to cope with his own. As he stepped outside the library behind her mother, he halted and stilled.

[The fourth wall is shaking!] 

Joonghyuk was standing there with his back leaning on the wall and arms crossed, with his signature frown on his face.

"I will get going and inform others." Sookyung decided to leave the two alone to talk.

"Wai-" Dokja didn't want to be alone with this damn sunfish right now.

But before Dokja could say anything he was suddenly grabbed by his collar.

Damn sunfish...

"Running away again?" Joonghyuk stared at him.

[The fourth wall is trembling!] 

"Let me go." Dokja tried wiggling out of this situation.

"Dokja."

Suddenly Joonghyuk pulled back and stared at Dokja, looking him in the eyes and activating midday tryst, Dokja stiffened when he heard him.

[The fourth wall has thinned rapidly!] 

"What do you mean I am not alone anymore. I know that you idiot..." Dokja looked anywhere but at the protagonist.

Looking at his expression, Joonghyuk stilled and wondered if he shouldn't have said that and stepped back a bit. Dokja hurriedly activated his demon form transformation and started flying, his wings flapping rapidly as he hurried to flee, noticing his intentions, Joonghyuk activated his Red Phoenix Shunpo skill and chased his star in the sky, until he finally got a hold of him and threw him over his shoulder as if he is a sack of potatoes without saying a word while Dokja tried squirming to be freed and Joonghyuk gave him a warning glare.

"Deactivate your transformation, your wings are getting in my way."

"Or you can just let me walk on my own!" Dokja said, flailing.

"Or I can cut them off right now." Joonghyuk said, gripping his sword with his spare hand.

"Ugh." Dokja squirmed, huffing as he came back to his normal form. 

Damn sunfish.

They shortly arrived back at the complex, as Dokja realized what Joonghyuk was going to do, he squirmed, trying to be freed.

"Let me go! Put me down! Put me down!"

Joonghyuk lets him go and he falls on his ass.

[The fourth wall has absorbed some of the shock.] 

"That's not what I meant!" Dokja stood up and started dusting his clothes and Joonghyuk suddenly grabbed him by his collar and spun him around to face him.

[Ki m Dok ja is a sca re dy cat.] Fourth wall snickered. Damn this bastard.

[The constellation 'Abyssal Black Flame Dragon' wonders if there is going to be a fight.]

[The constellation 'Abyssal Black Flame Dragon' is looking forward to the chaos.]

"Kim Dokja."

[The constellation 'Abyssal Black Flame Dragon' is munching on popcorn.] This- this chuunibyou!

"You are going to go inside with me and if you try to run away, I will break your damn legs." 

Joonghyuk threatened him in a menacing tone, squeezing Dokja's collar tightly.

[The fourth wall is shaking!] 

"Everyone is worried, especially your incarnation."

"I don't know how to face them." Dokja whispered, looking down at the ground with a tensed expression.

"Then remain clueless and stop squirming." Joonghyuk replied, unfazed.

Dokja hesitantly turned to see his companions from the view in the living room as he paused outside the living room.

"Look." Joonghyuk grabbed Dokja's chin and directed it towards the window which was showing the view inside the living room.

The members were spread in the living room, chaotic as ever. 

Gilyoung and Yoosung were arguing, pulling and tugging each other's hair while Mia was trying to stop them, Heewon was sitting on the couch, looking tired as ever with her head on Hyunsung's shoulder while the man was blushing uncontrollably, Jihye was laying in Heewon's lap and fanning her face. Sooyoung was sucking on a lollipop with her legs spread on Sangah's lap who was talking to Hayoung about something while Pildu and Han Myung-Oh were talking about some property related boomers talk, Sookyung, Aileen and Seolhwa were drinking tea and talking. While the life and death companions' masters, Kyrgios Rodgraim and Namgung Minyoung were bickering about who has the better disciple and Donghoon was sitting in a corner immersed in his own thoughts as he worked on some device.

"These people, they all love and cherish you." and me too was unsaid. 

"They are your family and love you, stop running away from them."

His family…

[The fourth wall is shaking faintly!] 

"But I don't deserve..."

"I will strangle you."

Dokja stares at him and laughs. Actually laughs. A real genuine laugh.

[Yo u sh ould sm ile m ore] Fourth wall... Ha, what a sly brat.

All the members snapped out of whatever they were doing and turned their gazes towards their leader as they heard him giggle.

"Dokja!"

"Ugly Ahjussi."

"Ahjussi!"

"Kim Dokja-ssi!"

"Hyung!"

"..."

"Dokja-ssi!"

"Brat."

"Kim Dokja."

"Ugly Squid Ahjussi!"

"Rat Bastard!"

"Dumb Disciple."

All these names for a sole reader, their Kim Dokja.

Yoosung and Gilyoung ran towards him and hugged him tightly, Mia waved her hand unimpressed while Donghoon waved his hand awkwardly. Heewon slapped the reader’s back which was a 'pat' in her definition, Hyunsung clasped one of Dokja's hands with teary eyes, Hayoung was smiling at him with Sangah politely waving, Pildu was staring at him with his arms crossed and Myung-Oh was nodding at him along Seolhwa and a very annoyed Aileen who was annoyed at the sly bastard for disappearing suddenly, not caring about his health yet again. Namgung Minyoung pinched Joonghyuk's cheek instead of Dokja's and Kyrgios smacked his disciple's head in annoyance and worry.

Dokja looked at them, their gazes, he felt anxious as he searched for disgust and hate in his companions eyes but those eyes were filled with fondness and... love.

Yes this was his family.

He felt his cheeks turning a little warm.

He was loved. 

He is loved.

He is loved by so many people.

He is allowed to be selfish this time, right...?

Kim Dokja is loved.

And Kim Dokja was crying.

[K im Dok ja is cr yin g b ecau se he i s ha pp y .] 

"Ahjussi!?" 

"Hyung, why are you crying?! If you cry I will cry too!"

The members glanced at each other and then opted to hug their leader, their reader, their companion.

Because they could, they could hug him knowing he could feel, see and hear them.

They all engaged in a big group hug, Heewon patted Dokja’s back softly while wiping her own eyes while Hyunsung was sniffling as he held Dokja's hand tightly, tears pouring down his eyes, Joonghyuk ruffled Dokja's hair with a  poker face, while the two kids hugged their father figure tighter than ever and Mia was hugging her beloved oppa. Sooyoung was crying but shoving a candy in Dokja's mouth was better she decided, she looked at his dumbfounded expression and snickered, Sangah was smiling with tearful eyes and holding his other hand, Hayoung was sniffling and hugging Sangah while holding Dokja's finger, Biyoo was floating on his head happily and Myung-Oh and Pildu were standing with their arms crossed, smiling. Han Donghoon stood near the kids, smiling faintly, Seolhwa pulled Dokja's cheek fondly. Aileen clasped Sookyung's hand and smiled tearfully. While Kyrgios sat on Dokja's shoulder rubbing his cheek trying to, maybe, comfort him and Namgung Minyoung stood there, eyes fixed on her disciple, Joonghyuk with a warm smile.

"...You did well." Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja looked at him in astonishment, not realizing the way tears were dripping down his face, he nodded his head and let out a shaky breath, "We all did."

Kim Dokja believes these people are his salvation but these people believe Kim Dokja is theirs.

[The constellations say welcome home!] 

He smiled, yes. Home. His home.

A family he didn't grow up with, but a family he could grow old with.

His family.

■■■